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Letters From Listeners

Dating Children of Divorced Parents
09/01/2015



I've dated several men whose parents were divorced. Nice men, good men, but men that I ultimately chose not to trust. It seems to me that when a child is hurt by parental conflict, typically what the child wants is for the parents to reconcile. When that doesn't happen and a parent hardens his or her heart to the feelings of the rest of the family and walks away, the child internalizes these cruel lessons. 

  • Look out for #1.

  • What you want doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what I, the parent, want.

  • It's my life; I have to do what's right for me. No matter how much pain you, the child, experience at the hands of selfish parents. 

It seems like they internalize these lessons as the way life really works, and their own hearts absorb some of that stoniness. Often in a marriage, one or the other wants to give up. In my experience, my friends who are products of divorces are usually the ones that quickly resort to that alternative. 

Carol 



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Tags: Behavior, Dating, Divorce, Marriage, Women's Point of View
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