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Letters From Listeners

Divorced Parents and Romantic Relationships
04/01/2015



I teach sewing to children. Besides weekly classes, I offer "sewing camps" on workdays when there's no school. 

On these camp days, I often feel like a therapist helping kids living in "blended families." It appears to me these kids get sent to a camp to get them out of the way during school holidays; a disproportionate number of my campers are in bad step-family situations. The agony these kids live through breaks my heart. Some of them are terrified to make a mistake, as though only through perfection will they be accepted. Others tell me stories of abuse at the hands of older step-siblings--problems that never occur in front of adults. I hear of lots of other issues as well. I don't start these conversations; they begin when one child happens to mention an issue, and then another tells his or her story. Kids who have to deal with uncaring stepparents, nasty step-siblings, natural parents who don't stand up to an unfair stepparent, step-grandparents who give their own grandchildren lavish gifts and ignore the step-sibling--these kids just don't have a chance. 

Thank you, thank you for encouraging parents to put their romantic lives on hold until their kids are grown. Any child you save from these horrors is a child who has a chance to grow up strong and mentally healthy. 

Hanna

Tags: Dating, Divorce, Marriage, Parenting, Values
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