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Do Bosses Cry Themselves to Sleep?
05/14/2015

 
Dear Dr. Laura, 

There are times I wish for a group like AA for which I could stand up and say, "Hi. My name is Ego and it's been 8 years since I attended my last business meeting." I was a business world addict. In my career, I achieved enormous success. I advised and presented information in the board room to famous household names. They deemed me brilliant and worthy. During my tenure, all the stars were in alignment for me and everything I touched turned to gold. I basked in that glory. On the day that I left my career, I wondered how they would get by without me. 

I chose to be a stay-at-home mom to my only child. While I loved my new role, I missed my old status. There were no more accolades; no more enormous paychecks; no more benchmarks of success. 

Last week, I was invited to attend my daughter's second grade presentation. She worked hard on it. I know because I sat beside her each time she worked on it. We strode into the classroom, five people strong: me, my husband, my mother and my two brothers to admire and bear witness to my daughter's efforts. There was a buzz in the room. Many mothers, fathers, and grandparents floated around from project to project engaging each child with our smiles and questions. We mingled with one another and praised each other's children. We laughed joyously and enjoyed this special hour. Suddenly something caught my eye. 

A classmate of my daughters was huddled in the corner holding herself in the fetal position. "What's wrong?", I said as I hovered above her. She did not answer. "What's wrong?", I said as I sat next to her. She did not answer. "What's wrong?", I said as I wrapped my arms around her. "I wish my parents were here," she whispered in the tiniest voice. As I cuddled and comforted her, the rage inside me grew as I wondered why those selfish parents could not take an hour out of their day to be there with their daughter. And in that moment I realized that no one in the business world mourned my leaving. I am quite sure there was never a vice president curled up in his corner office lamenting my departure. The organization moved forward without me. In fact, they thrived without me. The only one who was not thriving was the little girl in my arms. She was crying over what she didn't have, and likely never would. I will never again feel sadness over the missed praises from a working world that I meant little to. My worth is at home, creating a loving life for my daughter and my husband. 

Sincerely, 

Truly Reformed Dina

Tags: Attitude, Job, Motherhood-Fatherhood, Parenting, Stay-at-Home Mom, Values
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