Dear Dr. Laura,
First, I want to thank you for all you do. When I'm listening to you I feel like I'm getting a bit of wisdom from my mom as well.
Both of my parents are gone and I miss them every day. My dad had surgery and passed away six weeks later. We lost our mom about 18 months after our dad's death. When Dad came home from the hospital we all took turns helping our mom take care of him. It was difficult, but we eventually found our way. When Mom was diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia and the treatments didn't work, we were faced with the same situation as our father. My two sisters, our sister-in-law, and I took care of Mom in her home with the help of hospice for 10 months. In that time, we watched her slowly fade away. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but I would do it again for her in a minute.
The night our mom passed away, we knew she had been in the "active dying" stage and were keeping a close eye on her. We had a big puzzle we were all working on together and we would go from the puzzle to her bedside. My Old English sheepdog, Quincy, was right by her bed when she died and all of us were gathered to witness her last breath. One reason it was so hard to lose our mom was because she was such a great mom. She was a stay-at-home mom with six kids and Dad to care for. She cooked every night of the week; she was a good cook too. I remember dinners being loud and milk always being spilled. I miss those dinners.
My father started his own business in 1967 with my mom answering the business line that was in our home. She also helped him get the billing and taught herself bookkeeping. My brother and I still own the business today, and his two adult kids work for us. I still don't know where my parents found the energy, but they gave everything to us because they wanted us to have a better life than they had. We do have a better life because of them.
I grieved for a very long time. As the years passed by I realized my parents would not want me to grieve for so long. They wanted us kids to be happy. I had to make an effort to be happy, to move forward and to embrace a world without them in it. It's still hard sometimes but the pain in my heart is better and I actually look forward to each day.
Maureen
