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Letters From Listeners

He'd Be There in Support and Aid
03/26/2015


I went on my first date ever at the age of 27. I just hadn't had any opportunities prior to that due to a battle with cancer and subsequent treatment during my teens and early 20's. Soon after this first date, the man who waited on me at the copy center also asked me out. I went from zero dating to dating two guys at the same time! I didn't keep it a secret from either, and also made it clear I wasn't ready to get serious, for I was now well enough to attend college, and didn't want anything to derail my plans to graduate. 

In a period of three years, I went on six dates with the first guy - he lived three hours away - and multiple dates with the copier guy. As I neared graduation, I couldn't decide between the two. Long distance guy seemed the better choice, since we had so much in common, and he fit in well with my brothers, whose engineering backgrounds were similar to his physics background. Science and math geeks, unite! Copier guy, on the other hand, had an art degree, and half the time I couldn't understand his reasoning or logic on the most basic topics. But he was kind and generous, and I enjoyed spending time with him. 

Copier guy invited me to visit his parents in California. I soon found myself, at the age of 30, learning how to navigate ocean waves. I was terrible at it, and frequently ended up tumbling through the water, getting scraped by sand and rocks, before managing to land my feet on solid ground to stand up. My hands would immediately fly to my face to brush away my long hair plastered to my eyes, only to discover I was too late - copier guy's hands were already doing that task for me. Even when we weren't standing close together when a wave knocked me over, by the time I stumbled upright several feet away, I couldn't reach my face faster than him. In fact, usually he was grabbing my arm helping me stand in the first place. This is when I decided I would marry him. I knew no matter what life threw at us, he'd be there in support and aid. And he has been. 

We married in our early 30s, and almost 16 years later we've weathered miscarriages followed by infertility and a final miscarriage. He supported me in taking care of my handicapped brother and elderly parents, who have now passed away, and our latest adventure in taking in three foster children. I still sometimes can't understand him, but I know if I get knocked down and disoriented, he'll be the first to lift me up and brush me off. 

Lynne

Tags: Choose Wisely-Treat Kindly, Dating, Marriage, Personal Responsibility, Values
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