Hi, Dr. Laura,
I'd like to share a story about how I followed your advice on how to apologize correctly to your spouse: be sincere, own up to it and no excuses. It worked and our fight ended in less than an hour.
Our fight started the night before. I was telling him about why I had to end a friendship with my best friend. The discussion became a big blow-up. I slammed the door. He yelled, stormed downstairs and slept in the guest room. Morning came, there was no talking between us and he went to work. Slowly I started to realize it's silly to fight with my husband over a problem with my friend. Fearing the silent treatment was going to continue when he came home from work, I decided to use your suggestion and email him at work.
Here's my apology:
"Honey, I'm so sorry for what happened last night and there was no excuse for me to do that. Please forgive me. When I said "you never support me", it means I feel you don't support me in this matter, being mistreated by my girlfriend. You've been the supporter and protector of us since day one. I hope you will accept my apology. I love you. - Ana"
Reply from husband 40 minutes later:
"I love you too. I know you are under stress with what happened. I am on your side as we are family and for sure I won't say she is right because she seems insensitive. However, if you ask me to judge the circumstances of how it happened, I will say how I look at it - which was not a big thing to begin with. You, of all people, should know that I don't lie. But that doesn't mean I support her. Why would I support her as I don't know her beyond being the mother of our daughter's friend?"
Thank you for your nagging, Dr. Laura.
Ana
