When I was a youngster, I was a latch-key kid. This meant virtually no outside school activities, as I had no one to take me to and fro. I was very active within the school, however: band, choir, an after school sewing club, and on the yearbook staff (I ran track for a while...but didn't like the "friendly" coach). That was it, and it was all my own doing, I was never pushed by my mother, in other words, I didn't need outside motivation. Outside of school I was active in the church, but so was my mother, though we weren't there every time the doors were open. I did not feel overwhelmed, I would say, "balanced," though that was not a purposeful discipline. It just happened!

Consequently, when I had children, my husband and I purposed not to have them in every activity imaginable. (That could have easily happened, as I am a stay at home mother.) With sports clubs that start at 3 years of age, as well as music lessons can start that young, and the fact we have five children, we realized we would have very little time to just "be" if we were running to and fro. How can a child learn to "be still" if they are always running to, or being run to, activity after activity?

I had an interesting conversation with a mother while on a silent retreat some years ago (we talked at meal time, but not in between, as women can gab and gab, not the purpose of a "silent" retreat). She had four sons (I have four sons) who were all very active in hockey, as was her husband. Hockey schedules here are very serious, sometimes practices went late into the night, with her sons getting home around midnight at times. Often she was going one direction while her husband was going another. She was frazzled, and wondered how I kept from running what she called a "rat race." I said, simply, "We just don't do it."

I laugh when I think of that!

What drives a parent who must have their children running to and fro every day? Is it we have vehicles that can take us to these many activities? Does their identity rest in the number of activities their children participate in? Do these families have a day of rest, where they connect with each other? It is a good thing to be busy, but busy does not necessarily mean productive. Sometimes doing nothing when there is nothing to do is the most productive thing you can do! (Let's face it, we can always find something to do...I could, right now, scrub the floor...but there is a time for that, and it isn't now.)

A little wise "letting alone," in my humble opinion, is more helpful for children and families than running to and fro.

Deb