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Letters From Listeners

Proof You Have a Choice on How to Live Your Life
06/16/2014

 

Dr. Laura,

My story is very long, but I'll keep it very brief. I'm 54 years old. After all is said and done, my ''mom", I'll call her Linda, was married 5 times that I know of. She made 5 kids with 5 different guys, possibly more. I was the only girl and was the second child born. I was Linda's built-in babysitter, housekeeper, grocery shopper, nurse for my brother who had a birth defect, chef, laundry person, etc. I did all of this for her for as far back as I can remember. I often felt she had a girl so that she could have a personal assistant.

There were a lot of guys in and out of Linda's life, but I never had a person in my life who I referred to as "Dad". Linda would work 3 jobs if she had to in order to avoid welfare because she was too "proud" to accept it. Funny how a person can be totally proud in one area of their life, but not in other areas. She'd bring guys home, but wouldn't accept "help" so she could provide for the little ones she created. Thank goodness for the insightful neighbors we had, as they would bring food to us at the most appropriate times, which were probably towards the end of the month now that I think about it. Thank goodness for the neighbors that would occasionally provide us with a 20 day hot lunch ticket, which was a great relief to me! I SO LOOKED FORWARD TO THAT MEAL EACH DAY!

Today, Linda is married and is very deep into religion and politics. Ironically, when I was younger, she wouldn't get herself out of bed to watch me sing in the church choir on Sunday mornings. About 6 years ago, Linda contacted all 5 of her kids and told them that she wouldn't be contacting them anymore. If we wanted to talk to her, we'd have to be the ones to contact her first. Evidently Linda has come to the realization of what she's done and feels that if she throws her kids away, all of her "wrongs" will go away too. It's too bad that she threw us away. It felt like a slap in the face, considering that until then, we all had her on a pedestal, sighting "She did the best she could at the time" as the reason she had so many things "happen" to her. We stuck with her no matter what. Too bad she didn't stick with us no matter what.

I never had a close relationship with my brothers once she ripped them away from me, and moved away so she could get married that last time. The good news in all of this though is that my brothers and I got together last October for the first time in 30+ years. We thoroughly enjoyed re-connecting. We enjoyed it so much that we've decided to get together again this October.

I dated my junior high school sweetheart for 6 years before we got married. We've been married for 33 years now. I vowed to not go down the same path Linda did, and I'm proof that you have a choice in how you live your life.

Thanks for listening Dr. Laura.

Melinda

 

 

Tags: Attitude, Bad Childhood-Good Life, Behavior, Parenting, Personal Responsibility, Relatives, Values
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