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Letters From Listeners

Telling Kids They Are Smart
10/09/2014



Hi Dr. Laura, 

I heard you mention the fact that telling kids they are smart is not a good idea. You are correct; however, I think it is not because they then rest on their laurels, though that seems logical. I am a teacher and learned in grad school, and since then in professional development, that it is actually because it makes them nervous to make mistakes for fear of losing their "smart" status if they get it wrong. So, if you praise for hard work rather than ability, then they have nothing to fear because there is nothing to lose -- they know they will be praised for the process/work and not the outcome. No big deal if they get it wrong! A lot has been written about this. 

Best, 

Melissa

Tags: Attitude, Behavior, Parenting
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