Dr. Laura, America's #1 Relationship Talk Radio Host
On: SiriusXM Stars Channel 109
Call 1-800-DR LAURA (1-800-375-2872) 11am - 2pm PT
Image 01 Image 02
Health
Tags: Eat Less-Move MoreHealthResponse To A CommentYoga
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconI basically don't care about the musical chairs relationships of Hollywood types, but I thought the following story was indicative of our culture in general...and that is not a good thing.'This headline was important enough to show up in the Top 20 stories of Google News recently:' "Alex Rodriguez and Cameron Diaz Get Cozy in Miami."' The piece started out:' "Don't tell Madonna, but New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez was spotted getting cozy with Hollywood actress Cameron Diaz at a pre-Super Bowl party in Miami last weekend."' According to this inane report, she was tipsy, flirty, and began "grinding on 'A-Rod', who had just broken up with Kate Hudson.' Clearly, sports is not the only thing for which you need a score card!'Generally, women who have nothing going on in their lives become groupies, because attachment to a star (even in their imaginations, much less their beds) brings them a feeling of importance.' Madonna, Kate Hudson and Cameron Diaz are all successful in their own right, so "groupie-ness" is not the issue.' Then what is?' What makes women "give it up" so easily for a guy who is good-looking, successful and has lots of money?' I guess it's the looks and success, and the feeling that even more money is always good.'There is so little dignity left in Hollywood's elite, and many political marriages are also aflame with betrayals.' Our young girls grow up next to young boys who have both misguided values and expectations.' The boys realize that respect and courtship are irrelevant when it comes to getting sex and companionship; the girls think that explosive beginnings mean something deeper.'I had one female caller who was just amazed at my admonition not to have sex as a flirtation, rite of dating, way to get to know someone, or stress releaser.' She actually was surprised when I suggested to her (and her 21 year-old "reality") that scarcity brings value.' While that is an economic issue, it also works for interpersonal relationships.' If the act of sexual intercourse is to mean anything , it has to have a context of love and commitment, and that is a scarce resource.'People wonder why they're depressed, anxious, unhappy, unfulfilled, lost, or compulsive about hookups.' There is an inherent knowledge that meaning and purpose are everything to their psychological well-being, but they are surrounded by the likes of an A-Rod and Madonna world which tells them there isn't any, except for notoriety and sexual flamboyance.'It's sad, really, because there is more to morality than just being a "rule system of the constipated," which, unfortunately, is what too many people believe.' Morality is a means by which we make human beings rise above the rest of the animal kingdom with symbols and actions:' like marriage and commitment, for example. More >>

Tags: AttitudeChildrenHealthMarriageMortalityParentingPersonal ResponsibilityPurposeValues
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconIn Port St. Lucie, Florida recently, a six year old was handcuffed (actually, one handcuff was put over both hands - she was a little girl), and hauled off to a mental facility.' The parents were all hysterical and angry that their "little baby" was treated this way.The mother, who works in day care, said "There is absolutely nothing wrong with my child." Her father said that what happened to his daughter was "just wrong." The school contacted this little girl's parents several times about setting up a meeting to discuss her violent behavior in the classroom, but they never showed up.' Hmmmm.'Here's what happened on that particular day:'The kid had yet another tantrum in the classroom after the teacher simply asked her to do something, and the girl was taken to the principal's office.' The principal, 8 months pregnant, endured the kid yelling, throwing things, kicking the wall, throwing a calculator, electric pencil sharpener, telephone, container of writing utensils and everything else on the desk.' The kid then physically attacked the pregnant principal, who called the police.'In my opinion, the police and the principal did exactly the right thing.' Leave it up to the medical authorities to determine whether this girl is being extremely poorly parented or in need of mental health treatment.'There are those who cry over how little this girl is and wring their hands and say that there must have been some other way.' No, there wasn't.' The parents did not take responsibility, and their shame was delivered as arrogance as they sought sympathy (and probably a lawsuit).'The school is supposed to be a safe place.' This girl was, and is, a threat to other students, the faculty, and herself.' I stand behind the school, the teacher, and the principal.' I wish we could arrest the parents for negligence in letting their daughter's behavior get this far. More >>

Tags: AbusecancerEducationFamily/Relationships - ChildrenHealthParentingSchoolViolence
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconA few months ago, I saw the movie "The Bucket List." It's about these two older guys who, presumably, are terminally ill, and one of them mentions a "kick the bucket list," meaning that you make a list of all the things you want to do before you die (and then, hopefully, go do them).' The movie is interesting and well done, and well worth seeing.' It stars Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson.Since then, I've had some thoughts on and off about the concept, and decided that I don't want to have a bucket list when my time comes close.' I want to do and see and say and experience the things that matter to me waaaaay before they become an almost-Last Supper moment.' So I've been going over in my mind what it is that I would put on that list.' And I'm happy to say......nothing.I wanted an adventure on the high seas, so with a crew of experienced sailors, I'm going to be doing just that in mid-March, when we race from Los Angeles to Cabo San Lucas in Mexico.' It will take about four days or so, and we have to work, sleep, and eat in shifts 24 hours per day of sailing.' It will be grueling, cold, and sometimes scary at night if the winds are up.' The food will be "ucky," and there won't be hot showers or heated blankets.' And yet, I can't wait, because it's an ADVENTURE!' It pushes my limits and challenges me in new ways.' It's good to have adventures, as long as you don't ignore your responsibilities, and enjoy the challenges that are there.Day-to-day experiences and routines can get monotonous - that's just life.' So don't wait.' Come up with your own adventure (camping with the family, training for some physical event or whatever you want) and just do it!! More >>

Tags: AttitudeCharacter, Courage, ConscienceCharacter-Courage-ConscienceHealthInternet-MediaInternet/MediaPersonal ResponsibilityPurposeValues
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconIf you're a frequent listener to my radio program, you've probably heard me say to someone seemingly immersed in a petty annoyance:' "You must have a charmed and uncomplicated life to have the time and energy to be upset about something that's ultimately so minuscule."'Yeah, I know that sounds snarky, but the point is made.' If your life is filled with the awe of the sky when the sun first comes up, scurrying to do some projects for charity, coming up with ideas to support a friend in emotional need, treating your spouse as though you adored every breath they take, having daily physical activity that makes you sweat and feel great afterwards, taking on a new challenge in a hobby or education at the local community college or adult extension, having a day a week you get together with buddies to play poker, make a quilt or whatever....when your life is filled in such expansive ways, then the quirky disappointments of family and friends will be shrugged off with a small smile and a lack of real concern.'Try activity instead of pouting or letting your anger simmer. More >>

Tags: AttitudeBehaviorCharacterCharacter, Courage, ConscienceCharacter-Courage-ConscienceGratitudeHealthPersonal ResponsibilityPurposeValues
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconMy birthday was a little over a week ago, and my husband actually got away with setting up a surprise party for me.' I went to the party location under the guise that we were going to use a 'Happy Birthday' coupon for a free dinner.' It was wonderful to see the many people who have meant, do mean, and always will mean something important to me (and the cake and dancing were great too)!I want to mention one particular gift:' a bocce ball set.' I sent out all my gift 'thank yous,' and when it came to the bocce ball set, I said something like ''Thank you so much for the bocce ball set.' I don't know how to play it, but, heck, learning yet another sport is a great idea!' Ha ha ha!'I added the 'ha ha ha' because I hike, I play tennis and badminton, I shoot pool, do yoga, race a sailboat and work out...and do at least one of these daily .' But then I thought about my 'joke' and realized it IS a very good idea to learn yet another 'whatever' all the time.' Part of the joy of being alive (and a large part of what keeps your brain and body healthy and your mood positive) is having purpose in your life and learning something new all the time.People who don't continue to grow, be challenged, learn and be involved in activities tend to 'contract,' have depression problems, and compromise the quality of their aging and actual life span.So, while this blog is not an ad for bocce ball, it is a suggestion (and don't forget who's making it!) for you to constantly challenge yourself with everything from crossword puzzles to chasing butterflies.' The more you are invested in the opportunities of living, the more you will enjoy it and be alert and happy. More >>

Tags: AttitudeCharacter, Courage, ConscienceCharacter-Courage-ConscienceEat Less-Move MoreEducationExercisegrandchildrenHealthPersonal ResponsibilityPurposeRelativesValues
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconThere's a new study out from San Diego State University saying that children and young adults today are the most anxious and depressed of the last seventy years.I'm not surprised at all.' Having too many choices is chaos.' Morals and values have been sacrificed in favor of infamy and fortune.' When sports heroes are infamous and rich'because they took drugs to increase their performance, that is demoralizing to kids who work hard to aspire to athletic greatness simply by practicing a lot.' When other young people get famous for flaunting drugs and anti-social behavior, it makes it difficult for the kids who simply work hard.When you have a major Hollywood producer/director putting together a movie to excuse and explain Hitler (in context, he says), you have a generation that has no clear understanding of evil.When you have military dying in the fields of foreign countries because we are at war with a religious ideology that wants to terminate western civilization, and one of their combatants is caught and tried only as a common criminal, you have a generation that is confused.When you have a culture that does not support the basic building block of education - the family - we have children turning to equally confused peers and pop culture.When the people in positions of power, authority and fame turn out to be of little character, you have a generation that doesn't know what to respect or whom to emulate.It all matters.Our kids pay the price. More >>

Tags: DepressionFamily/Relationships - ChildrenFearHealthMental HealthMoralsMorals, Ethics, ValuesParentingPersonal ResponsibilityStress
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconA number of people have expressed to me that they feel somewhat guilty that their lives are so blessed and/or peaceful right now while people are being blown up in Afghanistan, Pakistan and other places - and by their own countrymen!' Or that people are suffering and dying by the tens of thousands in Haiti in the aftermath of a devastating earthquake."How [they ask] can I dare to have a good day when all of this is happening?"I think that's a good question asked by decent people.'The answer is simple:' what choice do you have?Shall you undermine yourself and those who count on you by crumbling under the awareness of this cruelty of people and nature?' Does that add to the miserly of the world?' YES.' Does that minimize the misery of the world?' NO.Your job is to do and be your best and to bring light into darkness in your own mind and home, and among family, friends, and community.' Where you have the wherewithal and the expertise to extend that to deserving people and places, do so because all humanity benefits by your action of caring - if not aided directly , then at the very least inspired by your example.Where you can't extend yourself to some place around the world, be cognizant that compassion and love in a circle around you has a ripple effect to help perfect the world for whatever moments of bliss might exist.' They add up.'Whether close at hand or off to a distant land, when you extend mercy, you do an act which magnificently defines humanity. More >>

Tags: AttitudeBehaviorCharacterCharacter, Courage, ConscienceCharacter-Courage-ConscienceCharityCivilityHealthHopePersonal ResponsibilityPurposeValues
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconI notice that there are way too many people who want to believe that "not wanting to know something is true" will magically make it " not true."' If it worked, I'd bottle and sell it.I'd like a dollar for each caller to my radio program who complains about some extraordinary behavior or circumstance that is making them miserable in their relationship, whether they're dating, already married, or married and three kids later!' I ask the dreaded question: "Did you see/know about this before you...?" At first, frankly, most people lie and say "No." Sensing they're being defensive, I push.' Finally, they admit it by modulating it: "Well, it wasn't that bad." Meaning, of course, that they knew it and didn't want to know it.Why does this happen?1. We don't want our dreams and desires squished.2. We are so far along with our feelings and actions (sex, engagement, long dating) that we simply don't want to lose what we have, or we don't want to lose face.So, the next step is "magical thinking:" "Well, LOVE should fix this," or "It's really not that bad," or we simply just try to ignore it.' When parents or friends bring it to our attention, we find ways to extinguish reality by claiming that they are just exaggerating or wanting to hurt you or take away your happiness or are too bossy or too critical.Every now and then I get a caller, as I did recently, who was only dating a few weeks and was seeing what some would call a "red flag."' She wanted to check it with me to see if she was being unnecessarily cautious or critical.' After listening to her, I complimented her on listening to that small voice inside which was telling her "NO...not this one!" So what I wish for all of you this new year is to listen to that small voice of good sense, and put aside emotion and magical thinking.' The road to hell is not built with good sense.Keep that in mind. More >>

Tags: FearHealthMental HealthMorals, Ethics, ValuesPersonal Responsibility
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
05/13/2010
IconEarlier this month, I took a call that I thought was a perfect example of how "moral nearsightedness" is overcoming American society.This twenty-something young woman was pregnant out-of-wedlock, "shacking up" with her alleged fiance (they are living with his father), and the fiance doesn't have enough income to support a wife and child.But that's not why she called!! In fact, when I pointed out the irresponsibility and immaturity of conceiving out of wedlock with a guy incapable of supporting a family, I got back: "Well, that's not my question!" (And, by the way, she didn't want to have a wedding until after the baby was born and she got her figure back in order to wear a white gown).Her question actually related to her mother.' Apparently, her mommy came to visit and "got it on" with the fiance's dad.... all night .' There were other children (of other family members) in the home when this was happening.That's as far as she got when I said: "It's genetic." She responded with: "What?" I repeated and expanded: "It's genetic...having no moral foundation for decisions.' Like mother, like daughter." Now that may sound harsh to you, but truth often is, and there was nothing I could do to change anything about this situation.' She was already "shacking up" and pregnant; her mother already had humped the maybe future father-in-law.' Her question was going to be about confronting her mom about this outrageous behavior.' I couldn't bear to hear her even go there, considering she was the pot and the kettle all by herself.It's a shame both of our eyes point only outwards.' It would be a far, far better thing if one of them turned inwards. More >>

Tags: EthicsFamilyFamily/Relationships - FamilyFeminismHealthMoralsMorals, Ethics, ValuesPersonal ResponsibilityRelativesShacking UpShacking-UpSocial IssuesValues
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
Stay Connected
or connect at a place below
Lifelock
Latest Poll
What do you think is the simplest thing you can do to achieve a long-lasting marriage?
Talk
Touch your spouse
Express gratitude
Plan things
Archives  |  Results
Programs
About Dr. Laura
Letters
E-mail of the Day
From Listeners
Audio & Video
YouTube Videos
Stay at Home
Parenting
Relationships
Simple Savings
Work at Home
Tip of the Week
Subscription
Membership
Help & Support
Family Premium Help Center
Podcast Help
Contact Us
Legal
Terms of Use
© 2015 DrLaura.com. Take on the Day, LLC
Terms & Conditions  |  Privacy Policy
Powered By Nox Solutions