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I'm turning my blog today over to Sharen Cervantes, a sophomore at Occidental College, with excerpts from an article she wrote for her campus newspaper: It's a testament to the changing times that single motherhood is no longer a lamentable predicament, but a choice, something pre-meditated and embarked upon with pleasure.' An even bigger testament to the nature of the 21st century is the fact that more and more of these unwed mothers do not fit the archetype of the uneducated, hapless teenager. According to a recent article in " The New York Times," the number of college-educated women choosing to have children out of wedlock has increased by a staggering 145% since 1980, with most of the women in this pool of mature age (i.e., in their 30s, 40s, and even 50s). Now, I support progress as much as the next person, and I'm especially supportive when it comes to women's progress.' Up until a short time ago, women were bound to the household and familial unit, unable to aspire toward anything beyond domestic and childcare obligations.... Single motherhood, however, doesn't strike me as progress.' While it may serve as testimony that the modern woman can single-handedly manage a household and act as a financial provider, it also denies the single-parent child something essential:' a father.' It's hard to explain what it means to have or, or why not having one is significant.' The impact of a father's absence ranges from the trivial...to the vital (forever wondering what a father could have brought to your life, for instance).' And there's just something about having a second parental figure in the house to forget or disregard a punishment when Mom is away.' Things aren't always this rosy, of course.' I'm enough of a cynic to realize that phenomena like divorce and negligent fathers make single motherhood almost more desirable than traditional husband/wife parenthood.' But shouldn't the dual-parent model still be a goal? I guess my biggest issue with single motherhood is its effect on a child's psychology.....The issue here is not ability.' The issue here is efficacy. What happens, for instance, when a single mother decides to play the inevitable dating game?' Does she introduce these men to her child?' It is even appropriate or conducive to an impressionable child to do so?' Not in my eyes.' It actually strikes me as rather selfish.' It is not in a child's best interest to witness a slew of men (or even a handful) come into and out of his or her mother's life.' It's even less permissible for a child to witness men coming into and out of his or her own life, especially when there's a strong chance of attachment on the child's part.....Attachment then leads to affection, affection leads to love, and love leads to a sense of hurt and loss if and when Mom and "Mr. Potential" end things. Is this fair?' No.' Does this promote a happy and healthy childhood experience?' No.' Is this type of situation inevitable and nearly universal?' Unfortunately, it is.' So, really, why the suddenly-escalating need to put children in this difficult position?' And what's wrong with a little tradition? Progress may be great, but so are old-fashioned values.' After all, isn't it especially critical that we uphold traditional ideals like daily family dinners and family game nights in today's high-tech, progress-driven world?' It seems to me that there are already too many conflicting interests to which the family must take a back seat, including work and financial anxiety.' The one point of stability in all this disunity and dysfunction is the mother/father/child dynamic.' So, I firmly believe that it should be maintained. More >>

When I was a kid at the movies and got a little carried away with giggles or chatter with my friends, all an adult had to say was "Shhhh," much less something as aggressive as "Be quiet!" and all our little faces would turn red with shame, and we'd say "Sorry," and slink down in our seats.Now, you take your life in your hands you simply ask someone to please be polite.' Fuggedaboutit!' "Rights" (meaning you can do or say anything you damn well please, and if someone doesn't like it, it's their problem) have trumped everything from responsibility to compassion to courtesy to politeness.Case in point: The New York Post reported on what happened when a well-meaning woman simply asked a 21 year old loud, cell-phone chattering female to please lower her voice.' The well-meaning woman ended up in the hospital after newly purchased, very hot coffee was thrown in her face, her hands were covered in bites, and she was kicked in the thighs with the 21 year old's high heels.The cell phone assailant tried to escape on a bus, but the victim chased her down the street to a nearby subway station.' When police arrived, the victim pointed out her attacker, who was arrested on charges of assault, menacing, and criminal possession of a weapon (the boiling hot coffee).' All this because the little twit was simply asked to keep her voice down.I don't go to movie theaters anymore, because too many people think it's their own private media hall, where they can make loud conversation and a racket with their candy cellophane.' If you dare to just ask kindly for them to keep it down, most likely you will be barraged with profanity.' And those who are nearby, who must also be annoyed, keep silent - it's the old "don't get involved" syndrome, which contributes to fewer and fewer folks standing up for what's right because others are too "wussy" to back 'em up.I love that many establishments "request" that cell phones be turned off, although I guess too many people either can't read the signs, or think they're somehow exempt because of their inflated sense of their importance above all others.It's getting to be a scarier world out there, and not just because of rogue nations, tyrannies with nuclear bombs, or terrorists with bomb-decorated vests.' It's getting scarier in our own neighborhoods, because people don't feel connected anymore.' There is a persistent "me vs. the world" attitude that is destroying domestic peace. More >>

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If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. - Catherine Aird''''''''''''''''''' British crime fiction novelist More >>

When the so-called "mainstream media" carries a story, one used to surmise that the information was actually important in some significant way to Americans.' We all know that's largely untrue:' stories today are attempts to splash the water in your face to get attention for ratings and commercial time or space revenue.ABC News actually had someone from their "ABC News Medical Unit" on to discuss the heartbreak of losing on the program The Bachelor .' It seems that this guy first announced that he was "hot" for one babe, but them changed his mind, season ending "cliff-hanger" style) and went for another babe.' He proposed, then changed his mind, and went back to the first of the two dumped babes. That set off fireworks with some silly blog site that targets I-don't-know-what-kind-of-women who actually care about this pseudo-intimacy.One of the dumb issues involved in this nonsense is that the babes have signed contracts that say they aren't allowed to cry or whine about hurt feelings until the appropriate time in the unfolding saga.' They actually got "shrinks" to opine about the emotional and psychological damage that can be done to these silly babes (who I define as pretty women who exploit their looks and desire their 15 minutes of fame by going on these not-really-reality shows to find the love of their lives and the father of their future 84 children) if they don't get to "vent" their hurt!Oh, puleeze.' First of all, this guy shows all the bonding ability of a flea in heat; these girls act like it's the end of the world if this "please me now/please me not" joker doesn't want them.' Frankly, I think the jilted girl should go down on her knees and praise God that she won't be stuck with this guy for five more minutes of her life...unless, of course, he changes his rotating little mind again.The shrinks talk about serious consequences of getting to know someone and then getting excluded.' Let's say the truth:' they all want to look good, win the money, get TV/movie/recording contracts and/or turn to modeling.' Getting dumped on TV is embarrassing, but throngs are willing to do so in order to get the brass rings the easy way.If anyone thinks that these people are actually looking for or are capable of bonding with the permanent "love of their lives," by going through this orchestrated "play-acting" on a television show, well, I've got a bridge to sell you...cheap.Do any of these girls get carried away?' Probably.' Girls do that - they want to bond, nest, be told they're beautiful and loved.' Women (as opposed to girls ) know better than to think that getting a paycheck and free clothes and makeovers is the way to get that true love. More >>

Kohl's Department Store has signed a deal with Britney Spears for her to "represent" their Juniors clothing line - you know, the line for young girls.' Part of this deal is to promote her music and current tour.' Parents, here's a sample of what Kohl's sees as a great match for your daughter: "Get Naked"My body is calling out for you, bad boyI get the feeling that I just want to be with ya'Baby, I'm a freak and I don't really give a damnI'm crazy as a mother 'effer'Bet that on ya man Get naked...would you mind?Take it off (I took it off)Get naked. Her so-called "Circus" tour is highlighted on YouTube.' Ya gotta love the guys in leather thongs and those tassel pasties she sports.' Frankly, she makes Madonna's Virgin tour look downright virginal.Kohl's Department Store must know that:* Her first marriage lasted 55 hours.* Her second marriage lasted a bit longer* She posed in the nude for Harper's Bazaar* She flashed a naked crotch at photographers getting out of her car* She has been busted for drug use* She lost custody of her children because of child endangerment issues* And on and on....just the role model for our young daughters of today.Did you know that Spears was named the "Most Searched Person" in the Guinness Book of World Records in 2007 and 2009?' Kohl's probably thinks that "attention is attention" - what the hell if it sells junior-size schmatas?One of my listeners wrote a letter of complaint to Kohl's, stating that she is "very sad to learn Britney Spears is a part of your store.' She has had such troubles and still is not in charge of her life, nor has she been found competent to raise her own kids.'' You have elected to reward her and flaunt her irresponsible behavior.' We will no longer shop at Kohl's." I read the (probably) form letter that Kohl's wrote in response, which purported to "regret that you have concerns regarding this decision.' Ms. Spears is an international celebrity and pop culture icon who embodies the spirit of the Candie's brand and personifies the iconic 'Candie's Girl:'' flirty, self-confident, and stylish." Their letter goes on to say that Britney has a right to privacy (are you kidding?' Twisting tongues with Madonna on a stage demonstrates a desire for privacy??), and her personal life does not reflect the views of Kohl's Department Stores.Flirty, self-confident and stylish?' How 'bout "piggish, out of control, and irresponsible parent?"' She is, however, PAYING Kevin Federline (a/k/a "Daddy") some $5,000 per week while she blasts around with this vulgar tour which should make billions.How stupid does Kellogg's now feel for dumping Michael Phelps for sucking up pot through a bong?' They actually thought that values, character and role-model responsibilities mean something!' Silly, silly them.You parents ultimately decide where your children shop and what they buy.' Try being responsible and stand up for values. More >>

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The Health section of The New York Times on March 2 debated the usefulness of bribing school children with money, toys, candy and electronic gizmos to have them attain better grades.When I was in school, it was cute stickers and the pride of getting a good grade that you could brag about that made your parents all sorts of happy.' The good grade was the proximate award for all the hard work.' Getting the reputation as being smart was a good thing, and becoming valedictorian was great, as was qualifying for scholarships of all sizes for college.' Spending a lifetime knowing you worked hard and earned what you had the hard way was the long-term reward.Now, some geniuses want to rob children of all of that.' These greater minds than ours want children to fight for things of substance (money) rather than for things of glory (purpose).' Not all endeavors have a high rate of financial return:' a hospice worker helps the dying and their families face their fears of death; a fireman runs into burning buildings to save complete strangers from a horrible death; kindergarten teachers introduce our children to the world of budding independence, self-confidence, social maneuvering and the alphabet...and that's only a few examples.Frankly, we need more kind and compassionate people than we do more "A" students in this world, as it turns out that the greatest thieves (many CEOs, crooked politicians and Ponzi scheme giants), terrorist masterminds, and general sociopaths all have very high IQ levels and got great grades.How about us giving financial rewards, candy and electronic gizmos to kids who go out of their way not to bully, tease, steal, lie, sexually harass, or sexually act-out?' Or to those who won't drink or take drugs or steal or backtalk their elders?'Would that work, I wonder? More >>

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