Email of the Day
Blog's for July, 2020
http://www.DrLaura.com
Dr. Laura
2024-03-19T12:22:25Z
2024-03-19T12:22:25Z
Dr. Laura
Working In A Daycare Turned Me Into A Stay At Home Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Working-In-A-Daycare-Turned-Me-Into-A-Stay-At-Home-Mom/499705602372250355.html
2020-07-10T09:01:00Z
2020-07-10T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I have been a stay-at-home mom for 14 years. Years ago, I worked at a day care center. Parents would stroll in with their sweats on like they just got back from the gym and complain because the TV was on. Some of these parents were teachers, and I know they would get off work at 4:00 but they would still squeeze in a trip to the gym and pick up their little one at 6:00. One woman said to her son, "<em>Where do you want to eat dinner tonight: McDonalds or Denny's?</em>" No home-cooked meal there. It blew me away and solidified the decision for me to stay at home. <br /><br />The other thing I saw at the day care center was the high turnover rate of employees. One 20-year-old guy called in to tell us he was going to be late to work because he had a meeting with his probation officer. No kidding! <br /><br />Now that most kids are at home, I know that my decision to be there all the time for mine was the best choice I ever made. This is a season of my life that cannot be repeated, and I treasure every moment, watching them grow. Thanks for supporting us moms! We love you.<br /><br />Happy to always be home with my kids,<br /><br />Irma</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-07-10T09:01:00Z
Choose Wisely
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Choose-Wisely/121719846290376032.html
2020-07-09T09:01:00Z
2020-07-09T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I am just about to turn 50, and for the first time in my life have a wonderful man whom I plan to marry. I was engaged in my 20's, but before I had a chance to marry him, my mom was diagnosed with a terrible autoimmune disease and I chose to move back to her home and help her. I basically went to work, took her for dialysis, cleaned her home, and put my personal life to the side. Needless to say, my fiancé wasn't the man I thought he was or could be. He wasn't there for me, so I ended the relationship. <br /><br />I dated through the years, but always ended it after someone proved to me I deserved better. Two years ago, I connected with someone with whom I went to high school. We are so happy. I may have waited a long time, but he was worth it. Most of my friends, who used to tell me I was too picky, weren't as choosy and aren't as happy, or are miserable, or divorced. <br /><br />Choose wisely, young women. Your happiness depends on it.<br /><br />Tisha </div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-07-09T09:01:00Z
Don't Waste A Good Thing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dont-Waste-A-Good-Thing/933206505525239.html
2020-07-08T09:01:00Z
2020-07-08T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I am 45 years old, have been menopausal a few years, am still in good shape (5'5", 133 lbs) and am so fortunate to have a man who loves and appreciates me for exactly who and what I am. He tells me not to change a thing, not even to tweeze the errant hairs I get sometimes. He also tells me that every mile he runs is so he can stay in shape to please me. This unconditional love feeds my desire for him. <br /><br />I also follow the Dr Laura "<em>guideline</em>" of saying yes rather than no, and I'm soooo glad I do - every single time! It's energizing, intimate and loving - who wouldn't want more of that in their life? <br /><br />Remember ladies, that in marriage, you are his ONLY source of sexual intimacy, and a man NEEDS his woman. If you deprive him of that aspect of life, it is truly a waste of a very good thing! And in my mind, he'd have every right to leave you and go find his satisfaction elsewhere. A sexless life is no life at all. <br /><br />We draw very few boundaries in the bedroom...it is a place where I am free to be his total woman, and he to be my total man. What a wonderful life!<br /><br />Kathie<br /><br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-07-08T09:01:00Z
Think Carefully Before Throwing It All Away
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Think-Carefully-Before-Throwing-It-All-Away/-252166749176479100.html
2020-07-07T09:01:00Z
2020-07-07T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I was a shack-up honey, not once, but twice. As the child of divorced parents, at the age of 18, I was chomping at the bit to go out on my own. My boyfriend and I played house for six months until he realized he'd rather live at home to be coddled by his mommy. My next shack up was at 21 and was based on the idea of "<em>saving on rent</em>," since we were practically living together anyway. After five years, we did marry and have been married for eleven years. It has not been easy.<br /><br />We've faced infidelity and discussed divorce. While I hope we can survive the odds against us, I want my experience to help someone else considering shacking up. I never had a proposal - we married because I gave him an ultimatum! He didn't have to ask my dad for permission to marry me. I had done nothing honorable to be requested as a treasure that my dad had to give away. There was a ring, but he didn't buy it. It came from our joint finances. There was no bridal shower, and no registry for gifts, because our "<em>home</em>" was already established. <br /><br />If I had it all to do over again, I would have valued myself more and acknowledged that any man worthy of me would have gone through the process of honoring me and treating me with the respect that I now have for myself. Please tell your listeners to think carefully before casually throwing that all away to shack up.<br /><br />Aurora <br /><br /><br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-07-07T09:01:00Z
Good Mommies Raise the Best People
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Good-Mommies-Raise-the-Best-People/-784403298258150283.html
2020-07-02T09:01:00Z
2020-07-02T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />My 19 year-old-son recently started a job at a major grocery store. He is one of the youngest employees there and seems by all accounts to be doing well. <br /><br />Last week when he came home, he put a huge smile on my face. With a giggle and some pride, he told me that one of the older women customers was trying to compliment him yet couldn't find the right words. Finally, she blurted out "<em>You were raised by a mom, weren't you?</em>" <br /><br />I left my career when he was born, and later had two other children. There were days when I wondered if nice clothes and a pair of high heels would be better than bare feet and food-stained shirts. Even my own mother still thinks I shouldn't have left the working world. But you, Dr. Laura, were there for me on the tough days, and my heart always knew that I was doing the right thing. Those 19 years have gone by in a flash of light. I cherish every memory of him as a baby, toddler, boy and young man. I love the man I'm sending into the world. It's also apparent that the world appreciates a child who has had a good mom to raise him.<br /><br />Allie <br /><br /><br /><br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-07-02T09:01:00Z
Celebrating Love Together
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Celebrating-Love-Together/-800356312187314127.html
2020-07-01T09:01:00Z
2020-07-01T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />My husband and I have two sons and we recently celebrated our 35th anniversary. We have a good marriage and worked hard to take care of each other and our family. We had planned a special anniversary celebration in Hawaii for our 35th but had to cancel because of the pandemic. I was very disappointed.<br /><br />I still wanted to do something to mark the day, so I contacted our priest to see if he would bless us on the day of our anniversary. He agreed and prepared a little ceremony with a reading and nostalgic facts about 1985. It was just the three of us outside of the church - my husband and I and the priest - and we renewed our vows. It was just beautiful, and at the end of the day, it was not about where we were to celebrate, but that the two of us were together celebrating our love.<br /><br />Rose</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-07-01T09:01:00Z
Sex Is Better When You Know That You Are Loved
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sex-Is-Better-When-You-Know-That-You-Are-Loved/-994054447352640613.html
2020-06-30T09:01:00Z
2020-06-30T09:01:00Z
<br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>I was 26 when I married my husband. On our third date, I told him I did not believe in sex outside of marriage. He was surprised, as he hadn't encountered a lot of virgins in their twenties! Most guys I had dated usually never called again after that disclosure, so I always viewed that as a quick way to sort through the frogs and not bother trying to turn them into princes. But this guy admired my resolve and was very supportive.<br /><br />Through our dating and engagement, we had our temptations, but as we got closer to our wedding, he took more pride in our relationship than even I did. No one else even knew! He proved to me how much I could depend on him to put my needs first, to treat me with respect, to use self-control and to be someone who would not give in to instant gratification. I always laugh when people say you have to live together to know the other person before you get married. He showed me everything I needed to know BECAUSE we didn't live together first. I didn't care about his daily habits. I did care that he had integrity, and a sense of commitment and honor. And I still feel that way ten years and two kids later!<br /><br />I think sex for women is a whole lot better when you know first that you are loved, cherished and respected rather than using it as a bizarre gauge to figure out what he thinks about you. <br /><br />Amalia</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-06-30T09:01:00Z
The Importance Of Treasured Time With Your Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-Of-Treasured-Time-With-Your-Children/-106187025590784441.html
2020-06-29T09:01:00Z
2020-06-29T09:01:00Z
<br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>I'm married, with two small children, ages 1 and 4. Although I listened to you growing up, a friend recently recommended <em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>, and I am back to listening to you regularly.<br /><br />I'm 35 years old and am a stay-at-home mom. Most of my friends have full-time jobs along with their spouses, and I've witnessed first-hand the difference in their family dynamics. Having the opportunity to stay home and raise my children has been one of the best gifts to my children and our family. I wish more mothers would realize the importance of this treasured time with their children.<br /><br />I heard you once respond to a caller who "<em>wanted to feel productive as a stay-at-home mom</em>" by saying that she was the "<em>closest thing to God</em>" that her children have. That comment resonated so much with me that I've shared that call with other mothers. I also made sure my husband listened to it! From the bottom of my heart, thank you for your wisdom and your encouragement to those of us who stay-at-home to raise our children.<br /><br />Stephanie</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-06-29T09:01:00Z
Good Husbands Raise Great Husbands
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Good-Husbands-Raise-Great-Husbands/660666196768414169.html
2020-06-26T09:01:00Z
2020-06-26T09:01:00Z
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>One day I heard you say that you should treat your family as a safe haven, and not as a waste dump. My husband has been doing that for a long time. He never once brought stress home from work when our kids were growing up. When Daddy walked in the door, our son would simply say <em>"Let's play,</em>" and my husband would be right there on the floor playing whatever games they wanted to play. It was the highlight of their day.<br /><br /></div>
<div>In later years, he told me that he had been offered promotions at least twice at work, but he turned them down. He was happy at his job and could only see stress coming along with the promotions. Today, the highlight of our days is when our daughter-in-law sends us videos of our son playing with their ten-month-old boy. Another safe haven in the making! <br /><br /></div>
<div>When our son was only 3 1/2 years old, he scrambled to help me get a Band-Aid to cover a paper cut I had. When I thanked him and told him how nice he was for doing that, he said "<em>Yes, because I want to be a good husband when I grow up!</em>" So even at that young age, he had already learned from watching his Dad what a good man would do. Our son's mother-in-law has also told me what a sweet husband our son is. So, I would say it takes a good husband to RAISE a good husband!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Teresa</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-06-26T09:01:00Z
Love And Marriage In Quarantine
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Love-And-Marriage-In-Quarantine/-370877896237686193.html
2020-06-25T09:01:00Z
2020-06-25T09:01:00Z
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>I got married on ZOOM last week, and everything about it was perfect. My now husband and I were the only ones in the house except for a photographer outside. Our officiant and family and even the wedding party were all connected electronically, and the event was broadcast to all our "<em>guests.</em>" We were able to invite many more people than we would have with an "<em>in-person</em>" reception, and the response was heartwarming and overwhelming. Everyone needed something positive and happy to connect to, and many people even dressed up to watch from home!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Each time you've spoken to callers lately who have had to rearrange their wedding plans, your encouragement and guidance to them helped shape our wedding plans - to great success. I had no doubt about whether or not to marry my husband, but having the confidence from your comments that doing it online in a broadcast would say something significant to other people and set an example as well as giving them a gift was meaningful to me.<br /><br /></div>
<div>My husband and I are both devoted listeners and followers of your work. He is not perfect, and neither am I, but I am certain that he is perfect for me (and I put that in our vows). Thank you for everything you've taught me. I know I chose wisely, and I'm looking forward to a lifetime of treating him kindly.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Adrienne</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-06-25T09:01:00Z
Timeless Advice From Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Timeless-Advice-From-Dr.-Laura/646236437068138425.html
2020-06-24T09:01:00Z
2020-06-24T09:01:00Z
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>You have been a part of my family's life for a long time. I'm a better wife and better mom to our son who is 23 years old because of you.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Over the years, here are the takeaways that have helped guide me:<br /><br /></div>
<div>1. (and the most important): Choose wisely and treat kindly!<br /><br /></div>
<div>2. Love is a decision, not just a feeling.<br /><br /></div>
<div>3. Do the right thing, even if no one else does.<br /><br /></div>
<div>4. Stay away from people who do not share my values.<br /><br /></div>
<div>5. Always be kind anyway.<br /><br /><br /></div>
<div>We continue to listen, learn and grow!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Carlotta</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-06-24T09:01:00Z
I AM Treated Like A Queen
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-AM-Treated-Like-A-Queen/-627820226724826327.html
2020-06-23T09:01:00Z
2020-06-23T09:01:00Z
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>I've been married for 23 years and my husband and I have a 16-year-old daughter. <br />Until I started listening to you four years ago, I didn't realize that I was the major part of the problem in my marriage. I grew up with a wonderful dad. He adored my mother and still does. I never heard my mom complain ever. She always took care of my dad, and therefore, she was treated like a queen. For many years, I compared my husband to my dad, complaining that he wasn't like my dad, and why didn't he treat ME like his queen? That caused a lot of resentment and strain in our marriage.<br /><br /></div>
<div>After listening to you, I realized I can't compare them. My husband is his own person. I fell in love with him for who he is, and not what I thought he should be. When I changed my pattern of thinking, I changed the way I treated my husband. And guess what? Everything has changed for the better and I cannot wait to spend forever with him. I want our daughter to see how important it is to appreciate your man. It makes all the difference in the world , and now I AM treated like a queen. Thank you!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Catherine</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-06-23T09:01:00Z
Continued Education
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Continued-Education/-420837905513595483.html
2020-06-22T09:01:00Z
2020-06-22T09:01:00Z
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>When you would give callers “<em>assignments</em>” and ask them to follow up with you later, I did whatever you assigned to those callers! And I learned a lot about myself from refraining, restraining, and retraining.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I never felt I was a terrible nag but drawing my attention to it allowed me to notice that even doing it a little bit was detrimental to the love I shared with my husband. I didn’t think I was a bad parent, but allowing my husband to take over discipline for a few weeks let me notice that he had some techniques that I wanted to learn. I realized you were teaching me self-discipline a few days at a time. I didn’t have a great mom to show me these things, but I still got to learn them…from you. <br /><br /></div>
<div>I hope you continue to do these assignments because I’m not done learning!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Laura</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-06-22T09:01:00Z
My Dad Is A Unicorn
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Dad-Is-A-Unicorn/-960164512322104176.html
2020-06-19T09:01:00Z
2020-06-19T09:01:00Z
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>In the 1950s, my dad had three small children and a marriage that was headed for divorce. He did something which is common today, but not then. He convinced a judge he could take better care of us than our mother could. All my aunts and uncles had a small part in raising my two brothers and me with lots of love. When I was 7, we moved to small town in South Dakota. When Dad saw the little town, he said that if he had the money, he would have turned around and headed back home. But Dad was not the type to turn around and quit. We stuck it out and had many happy years in that small town.</div>
<div><br />He also made our family a unit. He didn't go fishing with his buddies; he took his three children fishing. He took his sons hunting when they were old enough. We had many good times in those growing-up years, and he wasn't afraid to talk to us about growing up. When I asked him a "<em>woman question</em>" he sat with me, answered everything I asked and explained the facts of life. I've talked to girlfriends who didn't even have that discussion with their mother.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Through the years, Dad had lady friends, but he never married them, explaining years later that his women friends would never treat us as well as they treated their own kids, and that was why he would never get married. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Dr. Laura. I loved my Dad. This was part of the eulogy I read at his funeral forty-five years ago. I still pay tribute to him every Father's Day.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Gayla</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-06-19T09:01:00Z
Treasured Moments
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Treasured-Moments/976027535376410414.html
2020-06-18T09:01:00Z
2020-06-18T09:01:00Z
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>The most memorable trip I took was with my Dad when I was in high school. I was on the dance team and we traveled to Florida for the national competition. I do not really remember the dance or trophies or the rides at Disney World or the places we ate. What I remember most was how happy I was, and how my heart was bursting with pride and pleasure to have my Dad with me.<br /><br />He traveled for his work and was not home very often, especially through my teen years. As a teenage girl I never figured my Dad could offer me too much, (since I was brilliant and knew it all already), but was I happy he chose to chaperone that trip. Time with him was often scarce, his opinions mattered greatly to me, and his pride in me was so important to my confidence.<br /><br />I'm still not sure how he even found the time to go, but the memories I have of the two of us together on that trip will live in my heart forever. When I think of how much my Daddy meant to me in my "<em>growing up</em>" years, I make sure to send my husband and our daughter, (6 years old), on lots of Daddy-daughter dates. I know someday she will look back on those trips and treasure them, just as I do.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Bethany</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-06-18T09:01:00Z
Dads Are Magical
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dads-Are-Magical/927977297434392627.html
2020-06-17T09:01:00Z
2020-06-17T09:01:00Z
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>Several years ago, my 10-year-old son and I arrived together for his 4th grade awards ceremony and graduation. His dad, who is career military in the National Guard, hadn't shown up yet. We didn't tell our boy Dad would definitely be there, because the military can sometimes change the best-made plans.<br /><br /></div>
<div>The 4th graders in our area moved on to a different school for the next two grades, so this day was a very big one. Dad showed up, but our son didn't see him. When our son received an award, he looked a little like a nervous deer and I could see he could not find us. There was one more award for him to get, so I leaned into my husband, and said "I think we need a "<em>Hoo-ah.</em>"<br /><br /></div>
<div>Our son's name was called and as he made his way up to the stage my husband with a loud military tone projected a steady "HOOAAHHH!" When our son realized that was his dad, letting him know he was out in the crowd and very proud, he beamed and smiled from ear to ear with pride on stage. His dad was there and everyone else knew it, too!</div>
<div>Although I spend many more hours a day with our boys, that one "<em>Hoo-ah</em>" from Dad at just the right time really changed his day and probably his life! I could have never accomplished this turn from awkward embarrassment and stage fright to pride and self-confidence with only one word. Dads are special and so very needed.<br /><br /><br /></div>
<div>Cara<br />A proud mom and wife!</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-06-17T09:01:00Z
I Sacrificed For My Children's Happiness And It Was Worth It
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Sacrificed-For-My-Childrens-Happiness-And-It-Was-Worth-It/623894363118782970.html
2020-06-16T09:01:00Z
2020-06-16T09:01:00Z
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>Twenty-five years ago, I wanted to leave my failing marriage, but I had two young girls. While he was not an addict nor physically abusive, I did ignore all the signs that he would not be a good husband. I grew up in a violent household and chose him based on my perception that he would be a good FATHER. I remembered you saying that in any divorce, someone has to lose, and you should not make that be your children. So, I dug down deep, kept up a good attitude and made a happy home for my children. I didn't nag, argue or ask anything of my husband. I wanted my children to be raised in a peaceful home, so I kept my mouth shut.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I did leave him when our youngest daughter was in college. Last year, my ex-husband moved in with our oldest daughter and her family, supposedly for one month. Nine months later, she told him he had to go. She called me and said "<em>Mom, we don't know how you managed to stay with Dad as long as you did,</em>" and I said, "<em>You're welcome!</em>" I sacrificed my happiness for her and her sister, because it was the right thing to do, and it made a difference in the lives of my children. I broke the chain of violence, even though I was unable to break the chain of a bad marriage. Please with your last breath, keep advocating on how not to hurt children, even if you're not in a happy situation.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Lori</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-06-16T09:01:00Z
The Greatest Gift You Could Give To A Child
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Greatest-Gift-You-Could-Give-To-A-Child/691770100544603331.html
2020-06-15T09:01:00Z
2020-06-15T09:01:00Z
<div><br />
<div>
<div>I grew up in a family that seldom gave a hug. Fortunately, I married into a family that enjoyed hugging, and I eventually became comfortable giving hugs. Four years ago, I became a grandmother, and when my granddaughter was an infant and toddler, I enjoyed cuddling with her, but as she got older, she informed the family that she was now a BIG girl, so I thought that meant "<em>no hugs.</em>" <br /><br /></div>
<div>Several months ago, I heard you say that "<em>touch</em>" was the greatest gift you could give to a child. I was surprised and vowed to give my granddaughter more hugs whenever possible. One afternoon, I was in the kitchen, and she was in the next room playing with her toys. Then she walked in, and stood near me, not saying a word. I wondered if she were hungry or if she wanted to play with me or if there were some other problem. I wanted to hug her, and I heard your words in my head. So, I knelt to her level and wrapped her snugly in my arms. And her little arms held me very tightly. When we drew apart, she said "<em>Mimi, I will love you forever...until I die!</em>" My little sweetheart wanted a hug all along and didn't know how to ask for it. How grateful I was that I had heard you months ago and knew what to do. Thank you!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Mimi</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-06-15T09:01:00Z
A Man Needs His Woman
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Man-Needs-His-Woman/-822366013357685368.html
2020-06-12T09:01:00Z
2020-06-12T09:01:00Z
<div><br />
<div>I am 45 years old, have been menopausal a few years, am still in good shape, and am so fortunate to have a man who loves and appreciates me for exactly who and what I am. He tells me not to change a thing, not even to tweeze the errant hairs I get sometimes. He also tells me that every mile he runs is so he can stay in shape to please me. This unconditional love feeds my desire for him.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I also follow the Dr Laura <em>"guideline</em>" of saying yes rather than no, and I'm soooo glad I do - every single time! It's energizing, intimate and loving - who wouldn't want more of that in their life?<br /><br /></div>
<div>Remember ladies, that in marriage, you are his ONLY source of sexual intimacy, and a man NEEDS his woman. If you deprive him of that aspect of life, it is truly a waste of a very good thing! And in my mind, he would have every right to leave you and go find his satisfaction elsewhere. A sexless life is no life at all.<br /><br /></div>
<div>We draw very few boundaries in the bedroom...it is a place where I am free to be his total woman, and he to be my total man. What a wonderful life!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Kathie</div>
</div>
<br />
Staff
2020-06-12T09:01:00Z
Keeping Your Marriage Hot
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-Your-Marriage-Hot/-251911477820825063.html
2020-06-11T09:01:00Z
2020-06-11T09:01:00Z
<div><br />Here is a list of ways I keep the sizzle in my marriage:<br /><br /></div>
<ol>
<li>Pop into the shower with him.</li>
<br />
<li>Pose on the hood of the car in my underwear after our kid goes to bed.</li>
<br />
<li>Make his favorite dinners.</li>
<br />
<li>Greet him with <em>"Hi, Handsome!</em>" when he comes home from work, and ask about his day.</li>
<br />
<li>Reach for the '<em>nether</em>' parts when snuggling in bed.</li>
<br />
<li>Find ways to love his mother.</li>
</ol>
<div><br />My prince is 56, I am 54. Our son is off to college sometime later this year, and we just celebrated our 27th anniversary!<br /><br />By the way, I married my husband a month before my 27th birthday. I am so glad I waited!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Jean</div>
<br />
Staff
2020-06-11T09:01:00Z
The Importance Of Intimacy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-Of-Intimacy/967198028462848242.html
2020-06-10T09:01:00Z
2020-06-10T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>My husband and I have been married for 11 years, and we have 2 boys. When they were young, our sex life was practically non-existent, which was a major change from before we had children. My husband didn't complain, but I know he wasn't very happy.... And I was just too tired.<br /><br /></div>
<div>"<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>" really opened my eyes and made me re-adjust my thinking. First, I took advantage of the days when we were alone at home while the boys were at school, finding mid-day romps fun and energizing. We also realized that waiting until we went to bed at 11 pm or later to fool around was a HUGE mistake - we were often too tired or not in the mood, and if we were, let's just say the quality was lacking on my end, although no fault of my husband.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Our solution? We head back to our room after we know the boys are asleep. We devote our full attention and energy to pleasing each other and enjoying the intimacy. Over the last couple of years of doing this, our bodies are very much in tune, and our sex life and relationship have never been better. By making our relationship the most important thing, I know we can weather any storm. I wish all marriages could experience something similar.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Mandy</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-06-10T09:01:00Z
Marriage Wisdom From Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Marriage-Wisdom-From-Dr.-Laura/835601577554343990.html
2020-06-09T09:01:00Z
2020-06-09T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>Back before COVID-19, I hosted a bridal shower for a lovely young woman I have known for many years. She chose a wonderful young man and has made great choices in her life. The guests and I took turns giving her three bits of advice for a happy marriage. The advice I gave was very much inspired by your wisdom, Dr. Laura! Here it is:<br /><br /></div>
<ul>
<li>1. Treat your husband like your hero and he will be.</li>
<br />
<li>2. Be your husband's <em>girlfriend</em> -- never his mother.</li>
<br />
<li>3. Separate blankets. (ok, that one is totally mine!)</li>
</ul>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">And I could have added a fourth:</div>
<ul>
<li>4. Men and women are gloriously different. This should be celebrated and enjoyed. The perfect balance if we do it right!<br /><br /></li>
</ul>
<div>Gina</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<strong> </strong><em> </em></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-06-09T09:01:00Z
Making The Decision To Be Happy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-The-Decision-To-Be-Happy/-778659885726462210.html
2020-06-08T09:01:00Z
2020-06-08T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>When SiriusXM was offering its free trial, I signed up so I could listen to you again (I used to listen when you were on AM radio). In just a few weeks, I realized how miserable I've been and what it has done to my family. I have been acting like an entitled brat. <br /><br /></div>
<div>My husband and I had a couple of rough, stressful years. Dealing with depression and anxiety and strong-willed children put a strain on our relationship. Bitterness in me built up, and I wouldn't let myself be happy. One call you took changed all that. I decided when I heard it that I was going to be happy and appreciate whatever I had. <br /><br /></div>
<div>As a result, my husband and I haven't argued for weeks, my kids are happier, and we are all getting along much better. I had been working weekends, and when I got home, I wanted to rest while my husband took care of the kids. I got grumpy and irritable when that didn't happen. Now that I've been off the last ten weeks, instead of making it all about me, I ask him what I can do to help make the weekend easier for him. And we're having the best weekends of our marriage. Thanks for your wisdom and your courage to speak the truth.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Carole</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<strong></strong><em></em></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-06-08T09:01:00Z
Dating With Purpose
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dating-With-Purpose/699505286457348933.html
2020-06-05T09:01:00Z
2020-06-05T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>Confident is the best word to describe how I felt when my husband proposed marriage. As an observant Jew, my husband (then my date) and I only talked and laughed. We found out we enjoyed each other's company, we valued the same things, and had similar opinions about politics. We were both likeable, and he was a thorough mensch.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Both of us were able to come to this realization because we did not touch each other at all while we were dating or engaged. I mean, not even holding hands! We weren't dating for fun (although we had plenty of fun); we were dating to find out if we were meant to be life partners. By bypassing all the physical contact -- which tends to confuse relationships -- we were truly able to focus on each other's personality and I could see my husband was smart, kind, had strong faith, and best of all, he made me laugh (that was important for me!).</div>
<div><br />So, when he proposed, I said, "<em>Yes</em>" and four lovely daughters and almost ten years of marriage later, I'm still glad I did.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Hannah</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<strong></strong><em></em></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-06-05T09:01:00Z
Don't Wait Till It's Too Late
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dont-Wait-Till-Its-Too-Late/668976164894898717.html
2020-06-04T09:01:00Z
2020-06-04T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>I never wanted to be a stay-at-home mommy. I worked for over 30 years and I thought work defined me. Then I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. The symptoms got worse, my health took a dive and I had to go on disability. My husband and 2 daughters were concerned, but I was determined to manage this horrible disease. I decided my new job was at home being the best wife and mother that God directed me to be. God did not give me MS, but he has made good what was meant for bad.<br /><br /></div>
<div>My husband dotes on me and says I'm much more relaxed...He says I make him feel like the king of his castle. My daughters say I'm there for them more and I am no longer tense. The family really pulled together once I was forced to stay home. Had I known how much this would mean to my husband and my daughters, I would have made the decision to stay home long ago. <br /><br /></div>
<div>The adjustment from the workplace to home was hard. We thought we would miss the money I was making, but we found a way to make it work. Too bad I had to get MS to find out what I was missing, but I am grateful I have found it! Don't wait until it's too late to appreciate what is right in front of you.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Donna</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<strong></strong><em></em></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-06-04T09:01:00Z
Making The Decision To Be Happy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-The-Decision-To-Be-Happy/627603076194246977.html
2020-06-03T09:01:00Z
2020-06-03T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>When SiriusXM was offering its free trial, I signed up so I could listen to you again (I used to listen when you were on AM radio). In just a few weeks, I realized how miserable I've been and what it has done to my family. I have been acting like an entitled brat. <br /><br /></div>
<div>My husband and I had a couple of rough, stressful years. Dealing with depression and anxiety and strong-willed children put a strain on our relationship. Bitterness in me built up, and I wouldn't let myself be happy. One call you took changed all that. I decided when I heard it that I was going to be happy and appreciate whatever I had. <br /><br /></div>
<div>As a result, my husband and I haven't argued for weeks, my kids are happier, and we are all getting along much better. I had been working weekends, and when I got home, I wanted to rest while my husband took care of the kids. I got grumpy and irritable when that didn't happen. Now that I've been off the last ten weeks, instead of making it all about me, I ask him what I can do to help make the weekend easier for him. And we're having the best weekends of our marriage. Thanks for your wisdom and your courage to speak the truth.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Carole</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<strong></strong><em></em></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-06-03T09:01:00Z
Actions Vs. Empty Promises
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Actions-Vs.-Empty-Promises/20313510323089838.html
2020-06-03T09:01:00Z
2020-06-03T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br /></div>
<div>I am constantly amazed at how couples struggle in maintaining a loving relationship, yet one or both parties are always thinking of themselves rather than the spouse. I married at 21 and will celebrate my 35th anniversary this July. <br /><br />In normal times, at the beginning of every weekend, I sit with my wife for morning coffee and ask her if there is anything she needs done around the house or anything special she wants to do for the weekend. It is not an empty question. If she says she would like something done, it goes to the top of my list and, if possible, it gets done. If she wants to go for a long walk with the dog, I fit it in as more important than my needs. When I start a project, it gets done and not left half-completed. Sometimes, I really don't feel like doing her request, but I suck it up and always feel better when I see her smile and thank me. She also pays attention to my needs.<br /><br /></div>
<div>The relationship works when both parties put the other's needs first over their own needs -- when actions show you care more than empty word promises.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Keep up the good work of trying to help people.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Ed</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<strong></strong><em></em></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-06-03T09:01:00Z
Listening Has Opened My Eyes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Listening-Has-Opened-My-Eyes/601227857307127641.html
2020-06-02T09:01:00Z
2020-06-02T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>Within the past year, I discovered your "<em>Call of the Day</em>" podcast and now listen to it regularly. You've helped me tremendously over the last six months. I'm newly married and always had a problem prioritizing and balancing my own life with that of my immediate family. I've felt guilty when I have put others before my family, which has created friction in my new marriage, but listening to you has really opened my eyes. <br /><br /></div>
<div>I realize now that I must put my husband first before my family, and I can't feel guilty about doing so. It's okay for me to say "<em>no</em>" to them. I also need to accept the relationship I have with my sister, and not expect it to be anything more. It won't be how I would like it to be. <br /><br /></div>
<div>My husband shows that he loves me in various ways, like changing my windshield wipers, doing little things around the house and always coming home to me. I need to stop sweating the small stuff, and focus on what really matters, because tomorrow is not promised. I only wish I would have started listening to you consistently a long time ago. <br /><br /></div>
<div>With much love,<br /><br /></div>
<div>Melinda </div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<strong></strong><em></em></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-06-02T09:01:00Z
Thankful Beyond Words
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thankful-Beyond-Words/-913642876873754186.html
2020-06-01T09:01:00Z
2020-06-01T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>Shakespeare couldn't come up with words to express how grateful I am for you. Because of you, my three boys have a mom and a dad, still together, working to have a strong bond, and giving them the security and stability we owe them.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Almost three years ago, I reached out to you, desperate for help, because I was caught having an affair. My wife and I talked to you, and then we found a local counselor and thought it best not to call you again while we were working with him. You showed me grace when I didn't deserve it. You were direct and clear when we were in a tailspin and couldn't find a way out. You said it would be hard for a few years, and you were absolutely right. But here I sit in our living room as my wife works on a school project with our oldest, and our other two play games, and I am moved to tears. I am blessed beyond anything I ever deserved. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Our boys have a home that held together through hell. It's not over yet, because "<em>it</em>" pops up when we least expect it. But I know we will make it. Dr. Laura, I am thankful to you beyond words.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Rob</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<strong></strong><em></em></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-06-01T09:01:00Z
I'd Pick Dr. Laura Everytime
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Id-Pick-Dr.-Laura-Everytime/-905787529298520294.html
2020-05-29T08:02:00Z
2020-05-29T08:02:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I am a hospice chaplain, and my wife is a schoolteacher. You have been a wonderful addition to our lives. We have had many hours of listening to you for years, and your comments and opinions have been the source for many discussions.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Before the coronavirus quarantines, I was in a van coming back from a short-term mission and to make the time in the van pass quicker, we played a game. Each person asked a question, and the others in the van answered it and explained why they gave that answer. One question was, "<em>If you had a seven-year-old daughter and had to leave her in the care of someone you had never met, who would it be?</em>" I said it would be Dr. Laura. My reasoning was that, regardless of your opinion or politics, you have always stood to defend children from harm. I said, "<em>She would stand between evil and the child no matter what the consequences. And the kid might also learn about sailing</em>"</div>
<div><br />Others in the van picked politicians, religious leaders or people in the media, but after all had said who they would leave their daughter with, we each restated our decision. This time, EVERYONE said, "<em>Dr Laura.</em>"<br /><br /></div>
<div>Bill</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<strong></strong><em></em></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-05-29T08:02:00Z
Our New Normal
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-New-Normal/-368210015365764417.html
2020-05-28T09:01:00Z
2020-05-28T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I've been a stay-at-home mom for the past 14 years. We have four children, ranging in age from 7 to 14. Before this global pandemic and quarantine our lives we really busy. Too busy, in fact. Kids were overly involved with sports, school, dance and school activities. We rarely ate dinner as a family. I ran the kids all over the area. Everyone was overwhelmed, miserable and exhausted.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Now, we eat dinner together, and the kids help prepare and clean up our meals. They've learned how to fix toilets, do laundry, clean bathrooms and pull down shelves. They're outside right now, playing silly games, swinging on swings jumping on our trampoline and having water-balloon fights with each other.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Best of all, I'm putting my marriage first, which I haven't in a long time. I've taken your Marriage 101 course and read your books, but I somehow got caught up in the rat race of trying to be the perfect mom and I forgot about my husband. I've re-watched the course and was reminded that I need to put my husband and our marriage as my top priority. We now have coffee together every morning, we take walks in the afternoon, watch shows together and have more sex. He's much more relaxed and happier. Thank you for reminding me again that I am my husband's girlfriend.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Shari</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<strong></strong><em></em></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-05-28T09:01:00Z
Another Silver Lining
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Another-Silver-Lining/803594021956371796.html
2020-05-27T09:01:00Z
2020-05-27T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I wanted to share the great news that Ernie, my father, beat the coronavirus at 87 years old!! It's been 26 days since he has been home from the hospital. He was the first one to heal and be released in that unit. Each day during quarantine, I talked to him on the phone and tried to make him smile. Although it was hard, he persevered. I'm so thankful he did it!<br /><br /></div>
<div>I thought that you and your listeners might want to hear some GOOD news. Not everyone gets a death sentence when they get the coronavirus. <br /><br /></div>
<div>We love you, Mother Laura! Please keep up the great work.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Tina</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<strong></strong><em></em></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-05-27T09:01:00Z
Adoption Vs. Biological Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Adoption-Vs.-Biological-Children/-441668778990493942.html
2020-05-26T09:01:00Z
2020-05-26T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I've heard you advise private adoption to women struggling with infertility. My husband and I have one biological daughter and one daughter through private infant adoption. Having experienced both, I wanted to share some perspective. We met our adopted daughter the day she was born. When we had our biological child later, I found out that our feelings and love toward our girls were the same regardless of how they came to be ours. It was probably a little bit easier meeting our adopted child, because I wasn't physically and emotionally exhausted from hours of pushing! <br /><br /></div>
<div>There IS one big difference that I was never told about during the adoption process. After you give birth to a baby, it takes barely any time at all for them to recognize you as their mom. After a few days, they look at you and you can see total trust and love in their eyes, which is amazing. Our adopted daughter didn't spend 9 months in my womb, and it took longer for her to prefer me to other people. This wasn't a negative though, because when she DID finally look at me that way, and I knew she understood that I was her mom, I EARNED it. I can't think of a more humbling feeling than knowing that you have earned the trust and adoration of an innocent little human. I hope my experience will encourage anyone considering adoption. It is different, but no less beautiful. I wouldn't change a single thing about how our family became a family.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Bailey</div>
</div>
</div>
<strong></strong><em></em></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-05-26T09:01:00Z
The Voice Of Stay For Home Moms
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Voice-Of-Stay-For-Home-Moms/-94010244227860889.html
2020-05-22T09:01:00Z
2020-05-22T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />Before we were under quarantine, I was pushing my youngest child in the stroller to pick up her sister from school. While waiting, I watched and giggled as my toddler played on the playground. She giggled climbing the steps. She laughed going down the slide. She said "<em>uh-oh!</em>" when she fell on her tush.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Then a woman began talking to me, as if she knew me. She mentioned the family she nannies for and about her day. She asked me about my clients.<br /><br /></div>
<div>"<em>What?</em>" I asked, confused.<br /><br /></div>
<div>"<em>Oh, aren't you the nanny?</em>" this woman asked.<br /><br /></div>
<div>"<em>No.</em>" I said. "<em>This is my daughter, and we are waiting for my other daughter to be dismissed from school.</em>"<br /><br /></div>
<div>She then told me she nannies for two little boys, 3 and 6, and sees me at the park, biking, AND playing in the yard with one or both girls. Since I always dropped off my daughter in the mornings and picked her up in the afternoons, she assumed I was the nanny, because I always had one or two children in tow at all times!<br /><br /></div>
<div>I "<em>look like the nanny</em>" because I spend so much time with my girls walking, playing, and running errands? Dr. Laura, this is so sad!!! What does this say about our society? Thank you for being a voice for us stay-at-home moms! You have helped me in so many ways, but most of all, you have helped me be a great mom to our girls and a strong warrior's woman to my hunk of a husband!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Kim</div>
</div>
<strong></strong><em></em></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-05-22T09:01:00Z
The Magic Of The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Magic-Of-The-Proper-Care-And-Feeding-Of-Husbands/876680145832210718.html
2020-05-21T09:01:00Z
2020-05-21T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />For years, I've heard you talking about your book, "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>," yet I never purchased it, because I believed I was taking great care of my husband. I'm an avid reader, and recently I finally downloaded a copy to my Kindle.</div>
<div><br />I didn't even finish the prologue before I went into the other room, ripped off my clothes and proceeded to romp with my husband for a blissful 45 minutes.<br /><br /></div>
<div>How did this all work in my favor? Not only did he let me sleep in late while he got our 2 children up and dressed, but he made the coffee and left me a note on the bed that read, "<em>I hope you get to chapter 1 today!!</em>" Thank you so much.<br /><br /></div>
<div>A Happily Married Woman of 23 years.</div>
<br />
<p>Stacey</p>
<strong></strong><em></em></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-05-21T09:01:00Z
Making A Change To Save My Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-A-Change-To-Save-My-Marriage/419679529932249631.html
2020-05-20T09:01:00Z
2020-05-20T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />My mom's been an alcoholic for 30 years and is 3 times divorced. My family has a history of women putting men down and divorcing them if they (the men) refuse to be abused or berated. When my husband and I married 5 years ago, I treated him the way I'd seen men treated by my mother. I was mean, dismissive, and a basket case. Two years later, I found out he was having an affair with a girl from his past. I immediately set about blaming him, trying to figure out why HE, the evil one, would do something so terrible to ME, the victim. No introspection for me, though.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Then I found you, and I heard you mention "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands.</a></em>" I bought it, read it, and I decided to give your methods a go and forced myself to be patient, as my husband was incredulous with the new me. It took a couple of weeks, but he softened. I changed, apologized and he did too. The bimbo was out; I was in. It sounds crazy, but for the first time, I realized men have feelings.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Now, we're far more in love than when we married. Mom's still a crazy alcoholic, but I keep her at arm's length to save my life and my marriage. Your book saved my marriage and you've taught me how to ditch my angry-alcoholic-mother's view of relationships and life in general. Thank you!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Emily</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-05-20T09:01:00Z
Thank You For Being My Mentor
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You-For-Being-My-Mentor/-881061926276524467.html
2020-05-19T09:01:00Z
2020-05-19T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />In the 1990s, I was in my mid-30s with three kids. I was self-absorbed with a "<em>me first</em>" mentality and heading for a divorce. That's when I first heard your program, and thanks to you and your callers, I began to look at my life and my family in a completely different light. I realized the damage I could cause my children because I was putting myself before my wife and kids. When I heard you talk about what a real man does in his daily life for his family, I owned up to the fact that I was being an immature, self-entitled ass. </div>
<div><br />Now that it's almost 30 years later, I'm proud to say that I've been my wife's boyfriend and my kids' dad since that "<em>awakening</em>." Our kids have grown into successful, well-adjusted adults who have made responsible decisions in their lives and relationships. I also want to thank all the people who have called into you over they years, because their interactions with you taught me much as my life progressed into new phases. Now that my wife and I are empty-nesters, I play the bass guitar in an "<em>old man</em>" jam band and my wife and I have rekindled the things we enjoyed doing together in the years before we had children. Because I listened to you about the actions of a real man, I've lived a wonderful, no-nonsense life, and I have great relationships, I adjust well to inevitable life changes, and I proudly sit back and marvel at the young adults we've raised. Thank you for being my mentor!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Mike</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-05-19T09:01:00Z
Raising Them Right
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-Them-Right/464517795711296088.html
2020-05-18T09:01:00Z
2020-05-18T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />For the past 20 years, you've been my wise, loving, no-nonsense virtual mother, and because of your guidance, I've led a life that has made me happy and proud. You gave me the validation to be a stay-at-home mom, when my own mother and mother-in-law never did. You were the voice inside my head who always told me that what I was doing had value. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Fifteen years ago, I had a 4-year-old son who had just been diagnosed with autism and a 1- year-old. My mother wanted me to go back to work and be the "<em>supermom</em>" that her friends' daughters appeared to be. Yet, I was already thoroughly exhausted taking my son to his therapies and caring for a baby. If I had gone back to work, everything would fall apart, my marriage and kids would suffer, and I would be miserable. You convinced me (despite all the contrary messages I heard from family and friends) that staying home was a worthy endeavor. My husband and I agreed to downsize and move to a community with a slower pace. He took a new job where he could work from home, even though the pay was less. Because of you, I made my sons, my husband and my overall health and well-being a priority, and I made the right decisions. My sons are kind, intelligent, respectful and compassionate and being stuck at home with them right now is a real joy. You played a huge part in helping me rear them right, and you never had to babysit! It may be a week late, but Happy Mother's Day and thanks for being the best mom and grandma I could have ever had.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Nancy</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-05-18T09:01:00Z
The Red Plate
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Red-Plate/278264818813067685.html
2020-05-15T09:01:00Z
2020-05-15T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />When our oldest daughter (now 30) was a senior in high school, her teacher asked the class what they would miss most going off to college. She said it would be eating dinner every night with her family. Her teacher was astonished and asked the class how many ate dinner with their family. Very few did! The teacher even asked my husband and me if this was true and we assured him it was!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Fifteen years ago, our family was profiled in the newspaper as a family who eats dinner together. Why this is newsworthy still amazes me. They came and photographed us, like we were animals in a zoo! Our 4 children, including a set of triplets, thought it was very odd that eating dinner together should be considered interesting as it was all they had ever known.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I know those dinners did a lot to cement our family. When someone achieved something noteworthy, they had their dinner on the "<em>Red Plate</em>" emblazed with the words "<em>You are Special today</em>". Dinner was fun! We teased each other, laughed and heard all about the activities or trials of the day. I believe this is why, even now, as empty-nesters, with kids scattered around the country, they still are so close to us and each other. That time around the dinner table was the best time of our parenting and it didn't matter whether it was grilled salmon or grilled cheese. It was just being together.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Mary Anne</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-05-15T09:01:00Z
Men Are Not Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Men-Are-Not-Children/661014901091060841.html
2020-05-14T09:01:00Z
2020-05-14T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />My wife is wonderful in most respects, and I thank God for her. One habit of hers which turns me off, however, is her reflexive disagreement with things I say. She begins her responses with "<em>No</em>," before I have finished my sentences or even when she agrees with me.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I don't mind if she disagrees with me as long as she has a good reason. I suggested that she give me a reason why her suggestion is better or ask me questions to see if she understands what I am talking about.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Ladies, when it comes time to bed down for the night, men find it terribly unsexy to lie next to a natterer of negativism. Automatic naysaying doesn't encourage us to share our thoughts and feelings, either. You need not fawn over us or pretend everything we say is brilliant. Just let us finish our sentences and don't begin every response with "<em>no.</em>" Listen to us and speak to us as your husbands, not as naughty or ignorant children who need continual correction.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Sincerely,<br /><br /></div>
<div>Patrick</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-05-14T09:01:00Z
Cherishing Quarantine
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cherishing-Quarantine/-583225190123046083.html
2020-05-13T09:01:00Z
2020-05-13T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />It's my birthday this week, and as I reflect on those years while in quarantine, across from me sits my husband, who is the same age. There is so much to be upset, angry, and worried about the state of our lives right now, including not being able to see our son and his family or our daughter and her family and our five grandchildren. But as I look at the face of the man across from me, to whom I've been married 53 years, I realize how very lucky I am. No, I can't get my hair done or go shopping for a new outfit at my favorite store, or sit surrounded by my family to watch me blow out the candles, but I have a man by my side who still, at this age, looks at me and tells me how beautiful I am, even when I first wake up in the morning. He is a man who still desires me as he did when we were those two young kids with raging hormones. <br /><br /></div>
<div>With all the craziness going on right now, the comfort and love I feel when he puts his arms around me and the loving look in his eyes when he tells me I'm beautiful can never be dampened by anything, including COVID-19. Quarantining with this man is one of the most romantic times in our lives. I wish every woman can experience at one time in their life the way my husband makes me feel.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Rachel</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-05-13T09:01:00Z
Making 'Love' A Daily Routine
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Love-A-Daily-Routine/-691456217057653423.html
2020-05-12T09:01:00Z
2020-05-12T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>Recently, I heard you speak with a woman about "<em>loving her husband</em>" as a VERB. How spot on you were! I wake up every morning and think how I can make my husband's life happier, better, and easier. I stay home with our three kids and he has an essential job out of the house. What I have gained is a husband who rubs my back nearly every day and rubs my feet every night. He tells me every single day how sexy and beautiful I am. He can't wait to come home and see me, and he helps out with the kids and chores after work. We make time and effort for each other.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Every Wednesday, I make a yummy meal, the kids hang out upstairs and my husband and I trek down to our bedroom where we have a tiny table and chairs set up. We watch a movie and enjoy each other's company during quarantine (because we can't leave the house). It's the little things he loves - like my telling him how amazing he is and how much I appreciate him. He loves it when I kiss him passionately or smack his butt and tell him he's sexy. He loves it when I make his favorite food from scratch. All these things and more are essential for us to maintain the giddy girlfriend/boyfriend relationship we had in the beginning, but it's so much more now. Keep doing what you're doing, and I'll keep loving on my amazing husband.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Taryn</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-05-12T09:01:00Z
Hooked On Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hooked-On-Dr.-Laura/924792908634381389.html
2020-05-11T09:01:00Z
2020-05-11T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>I didn't know your name but I knew exactly who you were that day I was scanning the AM dial looking for some football talk and heard you say, "<em>My God, you women act like you are sleeping with the enemy!</em>"<br /><br /></div>
<div>I said aloud in my car, "<em>This is that woman! It's gotta be! She wrote that book my ex-fiancée owned that had about five layers of dust on it. What was it called? Oh yeah! "<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Stupid-Things-Women-Their-Lives/dp/0060976497" target="_blank">10 Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives.</a>" This is her; I just know it!</em>"<br /><br />And then I listened to caller after caller ask you how their best laid and impossible plans could have failed so miserably, even though they made the exact same mistakes I did. And then I heard you say with your wonderfully sassy sarcasm, "<em>Yes, even though my eyes are green.</em>"<br /><br />So, I had lunch in my car the next day, and the next day and the next day. I'll have you know I've missed some really good football talk these past years because of you, Dr Laura, and I thank you for every minute of it.<br /><br /></div>
<div>John</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-05-11T09:01:00Z
A Mother's Day Smile
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Mothers-Day-Smile/102145523980051157.html
2020-05-08T09:01:00Z
2020-05-08T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>When I was little, my mama always put our needs and wants above her own. We were very poor and grew all our own fruits and vegetables, had chickens, and got our milk from family members who owned cows. She made everything from scratch and never complained. She always went out of her way to do for others inside and outside our community. She knew when to fight and when to give in and was the sunshine after the rain.<br /><br /></div>
<div>One of my favorite silly moments occurred when I was 7. She was pregnant with her fourth child and working very hard in the June heat picking potatoes. She was 8 months pregnant and about to pop, but tending her garden meant her kids would not go hungry. She bent over and split her pants all the way up the rear end. We laughed until I thought she would need to run to the bathroom! She loved to laugh and make us laugh. Because of times like that, I can now laugh at myself when things don't always go my way.</div>
<div><br />Sadly, she and the baby passed away a few weeks later, but 26 years later, I can still see those ripped pants and that smile I inherited. I was so blessed to have the kind of mom I want to be myself. I am, and will always be, my kids' mom. And I hope that one day, my girls will have the same love and pride that I felt for my mom.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Angela</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-05-08T09:01:00Z
The Importance Of Touch
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-Of-Touch/87116897954766887.html
2020-05-07T09:01:00Z
2020-05-07T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>I've been happily married for 18 years, and I very much agree with what you have told several people about the importance of touch. Telling my wife I love her or kissing her whenever I leave the house or come back home are great, but when I'm passing by and just touch her on the shoulder or touch her on the foot as I walk by seem to get the biggest smile out of her.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Every night in bed we are either touching feet or just have our hands resting on each other. That's when we feel the closest (other than love-making), and the most secure. Sometimes when we are watching television, and I'm in our comfy chair and she's on the couch, she'll touch my foot, and it makes me feel awesome. <br /><br /></div>
<div>So, every time you tell someone about the importance of touch, I want them to know how wonderful it can make you feel.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Thomas</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-05-07T09:01:00Z
How Men Feel Accepted
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Men-Feel-Accepted/-386957805823609026.html
2020-05-06T09:01:00Z
2020-05-06T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>Dr. Laura,<br /><br /></div>
<div>I tell men and women that, of all the women who post their opinions about how men think, you, Dr. Laura, are light years ahead of your competition. I came across an old blog of yours recently, and this excerpt is a clear example of that:</div>
<blockquote>
<div><br />"<em>...this is the measure that men have of how much we love them -- whether we're willing to accept them (literally) into our bodies, whether we're willing to open up to them -- this is how men register that their woman loves them.</em>"</div>
</blockquote>
<div><br />You would think that this is an easy enough concept to grasp, but I am constantly amazed at how few women truly understand this. If you tell a wife this, often you get disbelief, and sometimes even scorn, that her man could think this way! <br /><br />For men, sex IS how they feel accepted and loved, and conversely, when a woman consistently rejects a man sexually, she is telling him she doesn't love him. This flipside seems to be equally confusing for women to understand.<br /><br />You are exactly right, Dr Laura...and you rock!<br /><br />Carl<br /><br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/aday.jpg" alt="" /></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-05-06T09:01:00Z
Giving Up My Career For My Son
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Giving-Up-My-Career-For-My-Son/463219624204907409.html
2020-05-05T09:01:00Z
2020-05-05T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>I started listening to you after I returned to work from maternity leave, which is a year in Canada. In tears, I would drop my son off at daycare, feeling in my heart that it was wrong, but every woman did it, right? All my friends' kids were in daycare, so I thought something was wrong with ME. Then I heard your voice on the radio, telling me that it WAS wrong. <br /><br /></div>
<div>That day, I spoke to my husband, and after several serious discussions we were able to pull my son out of daycare and I quit my job. People thought we were crazy at the time. How could we afford to do that? How could I give up my career? I even lost some friends over this. But I got better friends - other stay-at-home moms with values closer to mine. It was wonderful when our daughter came along and there was no worry about returning to work. It has been hard emotionally and financially at times, but it has been so worth it. My husband says now he couldn't imagine me working with all I do for the family.<br /><br /></div>
<div>A side benefit to being a one-person working household is that it has set us up better for this time of sheltering in place. I think now when you give premarital advice, you can also add, "<em>imagine being quarantined in place with them for months?</em>" Thank you for championing stay-at-home moms. I know you have made a world of difference in my family's life.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Carolyn</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-05-05T09:01:00Z
The Power Of Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Power-Of-Dr.-Laura/840912515716721892.html
2020-05-04T09:01:00Z
2020-05-04T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I am a high school teacher, and back when we were still in the classroom, I had a student say "<em>my Mom took away my phone</em>" to another student. Almost every student will get their phone taken away for a few days or weeks as punishment from parents, so I found it curious when this student happened to add "<em>...FOREVER. I am not getting it back!</em>" I immediately wondered if his Mom was a Dr. Laura listener!<br /><br /></div>
<div>A few months later, I was listening to your show on my phone during lunch. That same student came in to ask a question, heard your voice and said "<em>Is that Dr. Laura? My mom listens to her too!</em>"<br /><br /></div>
<div>I said, "<em>Is that why you don't have a phone?</em>" He looked down and said a slow <br />"<em>y e a h.</em>" I knew it!! I told him I had a feeling that Dr. Laura might be behind this.</div>
<div><br />My husband considers this his favorite story that I've brought home from school, so I just had to share it with you.</div>
<div><br />Annamarie</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-05-04T09:01:00Z
People Are More Important Than Things
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/People-Are-More-Important-Than-Things/481849345614293058.html
2020-05-01T09:01:00Z
2020-05-01T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />In my early 20's, I had recently given birth to a daughter born with heart problems. I was busy cleaning up the apartment and finishing up the dishes when my husband came in and said it was time to go to the hospital to see her. I said I just needed to get things tidied up and would be ready in about 20 minutes. He told me he wanted to go <strong><em>now</em></strong>. I kept working.<br /><br /></div>
<div>When I was done, I went out to leave with him, and discovered he had already left for the 30-minute drive. I made the drive alone, in tears. It was then I realized he didn't care if the dishes were clean and put away. He wanted to spend the time with our daughter. Our daughter lived only 4 1/2 months.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I learned a very important lesson that day: people are more important than things. The time we spend with our children and grandchildren is what they remember most. Children don't want perfection; they just want our time.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Thank you for reminding us of that and continue to encourage families to make their children and their husbands a priority in their lives.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Gayle</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-05-01T09:01:00Z
Appreciate Your Husband While You Have Him
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Appreciate-Your-Husband-While-You-Have-Him/332782811754000131.html
2020-04-30T09:01:00Z
2020-04-30T09:01:00Z
<br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>I read "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>" about six years ago. I was a good wife, I believed in the division of labor, and enjoyed being a stay-at-home mom. Once I read your book, I became a much more loving wife, and although he had always been "<em>fed</em>", he was now getting gourmet food because your book helped me understand him better. Our good marriage became a great marriage. He appreciated me so much, always let me know how much he loved me, and felt he was the luckiest man in the world.<br /><br /></div>
<div>He died several months ago, and my one comfort is I was the absolutely best wife I could have been. While I took care of him during his illness, he often said when he was better, he would spend the rest of his life making it up to me for all I did for him. He bragged to all his friends he had the best wife in the world and how blessed he was. Husbands really do just want to be loved and appreciated, so wives do it while you have the chance. You won't regret it. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Dr. Laura, please continue to help women appreciate their husbands. I thank you for making my marriage better.<br /><br />Joyce</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-04-30T09:01:00Z
EVERY Child Should Have A Parent At Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/EVERY-Child-Should-Have-A-Parent-At-Home/-659714820499928251.html
2020-04-29T09:01:00Z
2020-04-29T09:01:00Z
<br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>With my first pregnancy, I never thought about staying at home with my children, but when my first child was born, I could not stand the idea of going back to work full time. I did go back to work for four months while my precious baby went to a home day care. I cried for four months until my husband and I agreed for me to work part-time. I'm a pharmacist, so part-time work was easy to get. Even though it wasn't ideal, it was the best we thought we could do at the time.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Fast forward to today. My youngest daughter just had her first child. She had been working full time before his birth but made a decision to stay home with him. I am so proud of her. However, when she contacted the necessary people to tell them she was resigning to stay home with her child, one woman intentionally tried to shame her for doing that. The woman said, <em>"I worked full time while my children were growing up, and they are just fine.</em>" I told my daughter that that poor woman obviously had her own guilty thoughts and wanted to put them off on her. Everyone else she spoke to was very supportive. My oldest daughter is a physician and her husband is a stay-at-home dad. Each has their own system of taking care of their children and it makes me glad to see that all my grandchildren have a parent at home with them. <br /><br /></div>
<div>While I don't always agree with everything you say, I definitely agree with the thought that EVERY child should have a parent at home with them full-time. Thank you for all you do for families, and especially those precious children.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Susie</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-04-29T09:01:00Z
Our Endless Slumber Party
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-Endless-Slumber-Party/-464378804186710054.html
2020-04-28T09:01:00Z
2020-04-28T09:01:00Z
<br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>I credit you with much of the reason I'm able to take sheltering in place in more stride than other people I've encountered. I was a working mother who foolishly waited until my kid was almost a year old before finally hearing you and quitting my job to stay home with her. It was the best decision ever. That was more than twenty years ago.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Since then, and specifically during those first years as a stay-at-home mommy, I learned to love my home and staying inside. I take pride in cooking and baking and even cleaning. I have a loving husband and being in the house with him day in and day out isn't a chore. We call it our "<em>endless slumber party.</em>" Since I chose wisely and treat kindly, it's easy to be with him this much. I don't micromanage him, even when he wants to mix the light grey dirty laundry in with the whites. I've grown to love him even more as I watch him complete tasks that benefit the both of us. He's also becoming a heck of a saxophone player now that he practices every night. <br /><br /></div>
<div>I am working out by teaching online classes and have done so daily for three weeks, a consistency I didn't adhere to pre-COVID. I listen to callers who have talked about giving service in times of need, so I have done this in quiet ways where I can, and it makes me feel so much better. I am more in touch with family and friends than I've been in recent years too.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Love you pre-COVID, during COVID, and post-COVID,<br /><br /></div>
<div>Dina</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-04-28T09:01:00Z
Kids Paying It Forward
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Kids-Paying-It-Forward/-393682414704118822.html
2020-04-27T09:01:00Z
2020-04-27T09:01:00Z
<br />
<div>
<div>
<div>While shopping for groceries earlier this month, my 7-year-old daughter asked if she could stay in the Easter aisle while I grabbed a carton of milk. As long as she was in eyesight, I said yes. When I came back with the milk, I saw her looking up, dreamily, at the shelves of festive toys and goodies. I also saw a middle-aged couple looking at her as she told me the three things she wanted for Easter and her birthday. <br /><br /></div>
<div>I said that we needed to check out because we didn't want to stay in the store too long and expose ourselves needlessly. So she agreed and happily chattered on about Easter as we checked out. That's when I saw the woman who had been watching her in the Easter aisle, trying to get our attention and waving a twenty-dollar bill at my daughter. She said "<em>This is for you, bunny! Please take it and pick out what you'd like</em>." My daughter didn't know if she should accept, but I said okay. She thanked the woman four times and then said to me "<em>why would she do that, Mom?</em>" I explained that the woman saw how patient and helpful she was during this hard time we were living in. So, my daughter picked out two small things for herself, one for her older brother and said "I have five dollars left. Maybe I could save it for a little kid who was as good as I was! I told her that was a selfless and thoughtful thing to do. So now she has five dollars in a baggie in her jacket for the next time she sees a child being a great kid like her!</div>
<div><br />Thanks for teaching us how to parent in the right way.</div>
<div><br />Kimmi</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-04-27T09:01:00Z
A Dog's Last Will and Testament
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Dogs-Last-Will-and-Testament/50965466484673740.html
2020-04-24T09:01:00Z
2020-04-24T09:01:00Z
<br />
<div>
<div>As a dog owner who lost a young dog a few months ago and went a week or two later to rescue my little <em>"Nugget"</em> from the Humane Society, I wanted to share this poem with you. I intended to save Nugget, but he has truly saved me!<br /><br /></div>
<blockquote>
<div><strong><em>A Dog's Last Will and Testament</em></strong><br /><em>(Author unknown)</em></div>
<br />
<div><em>Before humans die, they write their last Will & Testament, and give their home and all they have to those they leave behind. If, with my paws, I could do the same, this is what I'd ask....</em></div>
<div><em>To a poor and lonely stray I'd give:</em><br /><em>My happy home.</em><br /><em>My bowl, cozy bed, soft pillows and all my toys.</em><br /><em>The lap which I loved so much.</em><br /><em>The hand that stroked my fur and the sweet voice which spoke my name. </em><br /><em>I'd will to the sad scared shelter dog the place I had in my human's heart, of which there seemed no bounds.</em></div>
<div><em>So when I die please do not say, "I will never have a pet again, for the loss and pain is more than I can stand." Instead go find an unloved dog; one whose life has held no joy or hope and give MY place to him.</em></div>
<div><em>This is the only thing I can give...the love I left behind.</em></div>
</blockquote>
<div><br />There will never be a replacement of my Swiffer or Munchie who was my first major loss when he was 18 years old. But I know I'm honoring their memory by giving a shelter dog the best life a dog could ask for, and he's giving me joy and healing right back!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Dawn</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-04-24T09:01:00Z
I will ALWAYS Be His Girlfriend
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-will-ALWAYS-Be-His-Girlfriend/537245588322393107.html
2020-04-23T09:01:00Z
2020-04-23T09:01:00Z
<br />
<div>I've been listening since a very young age. I'm 34 now, and I've finally taken your dating advice and found an incredible man. When we first started dating, one of the first conversations we had concerned having kids - I wanted to make sure he wanted them - and making sure that he would agree that when we do, I'd stay home with them. He said he wouldn't want it any other way. We dated for two years, are not shacking up, and are getting married later this year, once we can gather together again. Because of you, I am adding into my vows that I will always be his girlfriend!<br /><br /></div>
<div>My parents were divorced when I was five years old. I've only seen my dad a total of five times in the last 15 years, and I talk to him on the phone three times a year. For a micro-second, I wondered if I should invite him to the wedding. I decided not to and felt really good about my decision. I have an amazing mom and an awesome older brother, who has always been there for me. They are going to be the ones to walk me down the aisle, just as I have dreamed since I was a little girl. Father-daughter dance? No. It's going to be a MOTHER-daughter dance, and then my brother will cut in and dance the other half of the song with me. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Jenna Leigh</div>
<br />
Staff
2020-04-23T09:01:00Z
Changing the Routine For Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-the-Routine-For-Love/-817223372779974247.html
2020-04-22T09:01:00Z
2020-04-22T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />Last year, you had a caller whose husband left early and came home late, and he didn't feel appreciated because she was usually asleep when he saw her! I thought about my husband. He gets up every morning at 3:45AM and, as an essential worker, has to be at work early. Every morning, he gets up, gets ready, and before he leaves, he comes back to kiss me goodbye. After hearing that call, I decided right then I would get up with him the next morning and every morning from then on.<br /><br /></div>
<div>As planned, the next morning, as soon as he went downstairs, I popped out of bed, brushed my teeth, and ran a brush through my hair. As I came down the stairs, he looked up, smiled, and started telling me all about the news and some things he saw. I didn't realize he would be so talkative in the morning! He was so pleased that just before he left, we sat on the couch and cuddled for five minutes. Then he kissed me goodbye and told me he loved me. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Ever since, this has been our routine. I've been married to my sweet, alpha male husband for 35 years. I am definitely his girlfriend. Since we both came from divorced, chaotic families, we decided to do it differently. We raised five well-adjusted children, and they're all out on their own, paying their own bills. We are enjoying our empty nest to the fullest.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Keep telling it like it is, and I'll continue to do the right thing, which right now is social distancing!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Patricia</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-04-22T09:01:00Z
Something New For Lent
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Something-New-For-Lent/-564710645149362772.html
2020-04-21T09:10:00Z
2020-04-21T09:10:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />During the season of Lent, I used to give up things as a sacrifice, but it was usually chocolate, coffee or dessert. This year, I tried something new, based on your book “<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank"><em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husband</em>s.</a>” Even though my husband is a good man, it seemed he wasn’t able to find anything positive to say about me. So, I decided to compliment him once a day during Lent. It had to be sincere and different each day. I knew this would be hard, because I had no problem being critical of him, so finding something good to say every day would be a challenge. <br /><br /></div>
<div>The first week was rough, because I had become bitter during our 25-year marriage, but I made eye contact with him each day, complimented him and waited for a reaction. Then something unexpected happened. After the first few days, he stopped, smiled back at me, and thanked me. Our affection toward each started changing in a beautiful way, and I found all kinds of things to compliment him about. We were falling into a deeper love. Now that Lent is over, I have no intention of stopping. I’m becoming a better wife and I have a wonderful husband who I now appreciate. I was so surprised that this worked, and I wish I had done it years ago. It has had a tremendously positive impact on our marriage.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Barbara</div>
<div> </div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-04-21T09:10:00Z
Adjusting My Outlook For The Better
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Adjusting-My-Outlook-For-The-Better/-869169989264967478.html
2020-04-20T09:01:00Z
2020-04-20T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I started listening to you twenty years ago, and at that time you continually encouraged parents to catch their kids doing something "<em>right.</em>" We had two kids, so I drew up a sticker chart. Every time I saw them being kind, loving, or compassionate to others in the household, they got a sticker. We would gleefully paste those stickers on the chart, and at the end of the week, the prize was appropriate for what they had earned. The biggest prize was a cool flying toy from the Dollar Store. The smallest prize was a sticker for their shirt that said, "<em>I'm proud of you.</em>"<br /><br /></div>
<div>I didn't know this process would actually teach ME to catch them doing something right. I just thought it was a great way to take care of my children, but this project totally adjusted my outlook. My children are so much the better for it as well - they're now 17 and 18 years old. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Thank you for teaching me to catch people doing something right. It has been your greatest gift to me.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Betsy</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-04-20T09:01:00Z
The Wake Up Call I Needed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Wake-Up-Call-I-Needed/401976002626154094.html
2020-04-17T09:01:00Z
2020-04-17T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I was a nice, smart girl from an affluent family. But after my parents divorced when I was 15, I really started acting out. I was ditching school, running away from home, and I eventually ended up being arrested for shoplifting. But that was THE BEST THING THAT COULD HAVE EVER HAPPENED TO ME! It scared the living hell out of me (and I only sat in that jail cell for 3 hours)! The Judge ordered me to attend school, bring my failing grades up to passing, and do 60 hours of community service.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Being arrested was exactly the wake-up call I needed. I brought up my grades from F's to A's, never missed a class again, and began my community service at a Senior Center. Being arrested really opened my eyes and helped me turn my entire life around. I've been straight as an arrow ever since. And the best thing to come out of all of it is my community service helped me find a genuine appreciation and admiration for senior citizens. Before the pandemic, I was volunteering at my neighborhood Senior Center. Now, I'm doing grocery shopping for home-bound seniors every week, and I'm honored to be doing my part to help. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Amanda (now age 38)</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-04-17T09:01:00Z
I Would Rather Be Alone
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Would-Rather-Be-Alone/421972964039440246.html
2020-04-16T09:01:00Z
2020-04-16T09:01:00Z
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>Earlier this year, I ended a relationship that looked fabulous on paper, but, was a disaster. I am in my 50s and divorced for several years. I met a seemingly great guy at a local community event - movie star looks, great job, beautiful home, and many years divorced with two adult sons in their twenties. I was smitten. After several coffee and lunch dates, he invited me to his house for dinner. His 21-year-old son answered the door and was not very welcoming to me. I blew that off.<br /><br /></div>
<div>My date appeared and was very formal - not even a hug to welcome me. That's when I found out the son lives with him. When dinner was ready, my date plated everything and then proceeded to cut up his son's food as if he were a toddler! THAT was a showstopper. The kid didn't even thank his dad, nor did he engage with me during dinner. The son was on his cell phone the entire time, which apparently, my date didn't mind. I had one more date after that. That's when I found out he pays for his son's car, car insurance and cell phone. He even did his son's college homework for him, because he didn't want to see him fail! He admitted that his former wife felt like she was invisible. Wow. So did I. That was the end. I knew he would not change. <br /><br /></div>
<div>At first, I thought something was wrong with me, but after listening to you, I knew this guy was a loser. His adult sons would always be first, and a life with him would be far too high a price to pay. I would rather BE alone than WISH I were. As the Eagles said, "<em>every form of refuge has a price</em>."<br /><br /></div>
<div>Leslie</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-04-16T09:01:00Z
Cherishing the Time We Have
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cherishing-the-Time-We-Have/-319685373443249075.html
2020-04-15T09:01:00Z
2020-04-15T09:01:00Z
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>My husband usually has an hour or more commute each way for work. Most nights, when he comes home, he's tired, so we only have a few hours before it's time to go to sleep. He's often worn out when he arrives home, and the stress from commuting in all that traffic sticks to him and weighs him down. I greet him each night like he's just come home from the war and then leave him alone for ten minutes while he decompresses. Most nights we end up watching TV and reading in bed. We do most of our catching up on the weekends.</div>
<div><br />Now, my husband's commute is 15 seconds - the time it takes him to walk out of the home office we've set up and walk downstairs. It's wonderful! He is much more relaxed and happier, and we get to spend more time together. <br /><br /></div>
<div>I'm currently working on getting him to take a lunch hour. Normally, he works from his desk when he is in the office. So far, I've managed one lunch and a few "<em>nooners.</em>" I can't wait for more! I cherish this time we are having together.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Jennifer</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-04-15T09:01:00Z
Truth In Humor
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Truth-In-Humor/973091728016997519.html
2020-04-14T09:01:00Z
2020-04-14T09:01:00Z
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>The other night, my husband and I were relaxing on the couch. I was surfing on Pinterest and came across this quote posted by another woman: "<em>Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with</em>."<br /><br /></div>
<div>I shared this with my husband and expressed my sadness for the women who believe it. My husband thought about this for a minute and replied with: "<em>Men are like water pumps. If you pump them every day, they will ALWAYS give you what you want.</em>"<br /><br /></div>
<div>I thought that was too well said to not share with you. And, yes, I pump my water pump every day!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Jessica</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-04-14T09:01:00Z
Strategies For Keeping My Mental Health
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Strategies-For-Keeping-My-Mental-Health/-490567809496786725.html
2020-04-13T09:01:00Z
2020-04-13T09:01:00Z
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>As with all of us, major life changes have accompanied COVID-19. Our 17-month-old grandson moved to South Carolina with his parents in order to protect us (we are in our 70s). For over a year, we babysat him daily. Our family has respected our need to quarantine, however. My strategies for keeping mentally healthy currently are:<br /><br /></div>
<ul>
<li>1. I thank God daily for our continued good health, and our caring family and frie1nds.</li>
<br />
<li>2. Each day, I call and text or email others to check on their well-being.</li>
<br />
<li>3. I've learned how to use Skype and Zoom to "<em>see</em>" my family and friends.</li>
<br />
<li>4. My line dance teachers are teaching live on Facebook, so I dance three times a week and take daily walks while listening to your podcasts.</li>
<br />
<li>5. My husband and I have great sex frequently, and I cook marvelous meals for us.</li>
</ul>
<div><br />In essence, I've established a new routine which gives me purpose and I remain positive by noting the good things happening around me. </div>
<div><br />Stay well!</div>
<div><br />Donne</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-04-13T09:01:00Z
The Positive Side of Sheltering At Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Positive-Side-of-Sheltering-At-Home/697764364757834485.html
2020-04-10T09:01:00Z
2020-04-10T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>You are a daily bright spot in our current world of craziness. I want to share some positives that have come about as a result of sheltering at home:<br /><br /></div>
<ol>
<li>There have been surprising acts of kindness for the greater good from our kids. Just this morning, our 7-year-old daughter did an extra chore by unloading the dishwasher for her older sister (who hates doing that chore), and then reloading it with the newly dirty dishes for her Daddy, who usually does this, but he dislikes doing it as well.</li>
<br />
<li>I've learned to just let my kids BE kids, by letting them spend a whole morning engineering and constructing a very intricate leprechaun trap from a cardboard box, construction paper, and whatever else they talked me into letting them use around the house. The homeschooling lesson for that day could wait a little longer.</li>
<br />
<li>Without having to rush the kids off to school, I'm able to sit quietly in the morning watching the birds come to our feeders, and just reflecting on the simple joys of life.</li>
<br />
<li>My husband now has the time to get those extra outside projects done on our house, and he's doing it gleefully. A happy husband means lots of extra snuggles and hugs!</li>
</ol>
<div><br /><br />Nicole</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-04-10T09:01:00Z
The Power of Giving
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Power-of-Giving/-366620819792197633.html
2020-04-09T09:01:00Z
2020-04-09T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>Several years ago, as we were getting ready to go to church, my daughters asked me for money to give in their Bible Study class. I hadn't gotten paid yet, so I didn't have any money at all. Then I remembered I had a peanut butter jar where I'd keep quarters for the laundry. There were only two quarters in the jar, so I gave them each one. I didn't have anything for myself to give that day.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Usually after church, we would walk home, take a nap and then go for a nice brief walk. That day, while walking, I saw a beautiful flower on this huge green bush. I went over to look at it, and on the dirt underneath the green bush there was a mountain of brand new, sparkling quarters! I was beside myself with excitement. I didn't know what to think, and then I remembered that I had given the church the only money I had - those two quarters in the peanut butter jar.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I always look back and remember the day that I found those quarters. I believe that when you give - whether it's money, kindness, a smile or joy - you too will be blessed. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Maria</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-04-09T09:01:00Z
Trading Lives
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Trading-Lives/813237509292223657.html
2020-04-08T09:01:00Z
2020-04-08T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I've been married for 36 years. Like everyone else, I am sheltering in place, so I'm cleaning out old closets and drawers. I came across a poem I wrote in 1997, when I quit my dream job to stay at home with my kids. It's a decision I've never regretted. As I re-read the poem, I thought it was still relevant for today, so I wanted to share it with you. Thank you.</div>
<blockquote>
<div> <br /><em>For my daughter:</em><br /><br /></div>
<div><em> I used to drop you off at daycare - to lead another Life.</em><br /><br /><em> One with circle times, crafts and snacks.</em><br /><br /><em> I used to drop you off at daycare - to lead another Life</em><br /><br /><em> One with business meetings, memos and power lunches.</em><br /><br /><em> Now I drop you in my lap at home - leading the same Life.</em><br /><br /><em> One with children's stories, smiles and picnics in the park.</em><br /><br /></div>
</blockquote>
<div>Liz</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-04-08T09:01:00Z
Focusing On What Is Really Important
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Focusing-On-What-Is-Really-Important/829094712742967136.html
2020-04-07T09:01:00Z
2020-04-07T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>I listened to the callers you had recently who were talking about the silver lining in this crazy pandemic situation. I have many silver linings. As a parent of three daughters, this is typically the time of year when our lives are absolutely crazy. Between the sports teams they play on and "<em>end of school year</em>" events, we are hardly ever home as a family and dinner is often a quick run to a drive thru. However, over the past few weeks, I've had time to actually cook with my kids - teaching them valuable lessons they will always use. And seeing the pride on their faces as we sat down to eat a dinner they made was priceless.<br /><br /></div>
<div>We have a pool table in our basement that we also hardly use, but now my husband and I can teach them how to play. My friends and I have time to do meetings over the internet to check in on each other. I've talked and texted with them more over the past two weeks than ever before. Our small community is putting together virtual "<em>birthday parades</em>" for all the kids who cannot celebrate with their friends at parties.</div>
<div><br />My husband said that he heard a woman in Italy say that God was punishing us with this virus outbreak. I think just the opposite - that He is forcing us to focus on what is really important!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Rebecca</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-04-07T09:01:00Z
Here Comes The Sun
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Here-Comes-The-Sun/-408508192907782078.html
2020-04-06T09:01:00Z
2020-04-06T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>I usually listen to you every day, but never seem to have the luxury of hearing your entire program. But now that I'm self-quarantining, I have found your show to be an anchor in this difficult situation (and I'm able to listen to all three hours). In the last two weeks, you have given me much strength and I thank you for being there with your wisdom and grace. As a widow, I am here alone.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I miss my daughters and four grandkids more than I can express, but my daughters say they want to keep me healthy, so we are staying away from each other. Video chats have become the norm and my oldest granddaughter, who is five, figured out how to Skype with me all by herself, so WE are staying connected too. <br /><br /></div>
<div>I walk every day just to get out of the house. This morning, I walked down the driveway in the raindrops. As I reached the halfway mark and turned to come back, the clouds parted, and the sun started to shine! I was listening to music on the SiriusXM app, and just as the sun started shining, the beautiful, gentle, hopeful voice of George Harrison started singing "<em><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUNqsfFUwhY" target="_blank">Here Comes the Sun</a>.</em>" I stopped and just listened, watching the sunshine. It didn't last long, but it reminded me that this won't last forever either. I can't wait to give kisses and hugs to my grandkids who are the best huggers in the world, but I thank you for helping me through this. Stay healthy, dear friend!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Lynn</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-04-06T09:01:00Z
Small Changes Equal Big Impact
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Small-Changes-Equal-Big-Impact/15064310715620448.html
2020-04-03T09:01:00Z
2020-04-03T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>I have been married for 15 years. To prevent my marriage from getting stale, even though we love each other, I always remember to consider him in everything I do (something I learned from you, Dr. Laura!). Here are some small, subtle things I've done that have uplifted our relationship tremendously:<br /><br /><br /></div>
<div>1. I used to complain to my girlfriends if my husband wasn't super helpful with the kids or household stuff. I've learned to stop doing that, realizing that you insult yourself if you insult him, because you're in this together. <br /><br />2. I spend more time just being affectionate and have called him during his work breaks just to chat, or because I just HAVE to tell him something funny that made me laugh.<br /><br />3. I kiss him on the nose instead of the lips sometimes when he gets home and tell him that the kids and I have been waiting to see him.</div>
<div><br /><br />It's amazing how these small changes have elevated the love we already have and how much more of a fabulous father he has become. And in the last few months, he's called ME from work just to chat. If you show him this kind of affection, your kids will learn to love just as lovingly as you do. Love his imperfections, because when he does have a "<em>perfect</em>" moment, you notice it and are all the more thankful for him, especially now during this time of crisis.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Carrie</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-04-03T09:01:00Z
It's The Little Things That Matter Most
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-The-Little-Things-That-Matter-Most/461218041326848684.html
2020-04-02T09:01:00Z
2020-04-02T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>Before the coronavirus pandemic, I was having a lunch date with my 17 year old son; we were at a restaurant on a deck overlooking the river. We were enjoying looking at the fish and talking about how big they were - in other words, we were just having fun.<br /> <br />A mom and her daughter (who looked to be about 6 years old), came out and sat at a table next to us. The little girl got up and looked over in the river and said "<em>Mommy, look at the fish.</em>" The mom never took her eyes off her cell phone - not once.<br /><br /></div>
<div>As my son and I ate our lunch I kept looking at the mom and daughter. When their food came, the little girl ran around the deck, came back, took a bite of her food then ran some more. Mom was still looking at her cell phone. Never once did I hear the mom utter a word to her daughter. My heart broke for this child.<br /> <br />As the child and mom were leaving, my son said, "<em>They sure didn't stay long, and did you notice the mom never talked to the little girl?</em>" I smiled at my son, knowing at that moment it's sometimes the little things we do with our kids that matter the most in their lives, like throwing chips to hungry fish and laughing. <br /> <br />Thanks for all you do,<br /> <br />Jamie</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-04-02T09:01:00Z
My Silver Lining
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Silver-Lining/959842539354805757.html
2020-04-01T09:01:00Z
2020-04-01T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />At this moment, my husband is teaching our 16-year-old son to play guitar. Three weeks ago, our son wouldn't have been interested, but now that we're quarantined and following the CDC rules, everyone is more open to new things to do. I'm trying to find the silver lining in all of this and for me, that's having extra time with my teen who will be leaving for college in two years. I wanted to slow time down, and now, that's exactly what's happened.<br /><br /></div>
<div>It's not easy to be a teen in quarantine with parents, especially when some other high schoolers are breaking the rules and are out and about. But we're trying to make the most of it. We do indoor exercise videos. We cook together more. I suggested he take up some new hobbies and that's when he decided to learn the guitar, which his dad plays. Now they're having a good time working on it together and my heart warms. Embrace and cherish the moment, parents!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Because of you, Dr. Laura, I'm a better parent and wife. After listening to you, I realized that my husband would step up and be the alpha male father if I stepped back and let him. You were absolutely right. Our boy needs to be guided by an alpha male, and each day, I see him getting closer to manhood as a good, respectable person.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Toni</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-04-01T09:01:00Z
Being The Girlfriend Is a Choice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-The-Girlfriend-Is-a-Choice/417644050791377022.html
2020-03-31T20:31:00Z
2020-03-31T20:31:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I think I'm starting to get it. My husband and I are 25 years old and have been married for almost two years, with a four-month-old daughter. He works as a police officer and I stay home to take care of our little bundle of sass. Even before this current health crisis he worked long hours, so he usually sleeps later than me and the baby. <br /><br /></div>
<div>One morning the baby was extra fussy, and I began to build up anger and frustration toward him. How dare he be sleeping! I guess I'll have to do everything by myself. He never helps me! I was slowly convincing myself that I would have the right to become "<em>the b-word</em>" in order to get the help I needed. I was about to nag him to wake up and help me with the baby when I thought <em>"if I do that, I'm CHOOSING to be 'Miss B,</em>'" so how can I turn this around to be The Girlfriend instead? It took me a minute, but I walked into our room, put my hand gently on his back, kissed him on the cheek and whispered in his ear "<em>How would you like your eggs?</em>" I knew the thought of food and the smell of bacon would seduce him out of bed in a more girlfriend-like way. <br /><br /></div>
<div>He was up in two minutes and the best part is that he took the baby and insisted on making breakfast as well. How differently that morning could have gone if I had taken the wrong route! I realize that being "<em>The Girlfriend</em>" is a choice that takes a little more creativity and maybe a deep breath now and then, but my husband slays dragons for us every day with a smile on his face and love in his heart. It's the least I can do. Thank you for being the voice in my head telling me to choose being his girlfriend every time.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Jackie</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-03-31T20:31:00Z
The Bright Side of Quarantine
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Bright-Side-of-Quarantine/-135123217492669113.html
2020-03-30T09:01:00Z
2020-03-30T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />This has certainly been an anxious time. We're hunkered down at home here in Connecticut - my husband and I and our 16 year old daughter. I decided to look on the bright side and think of the positives, so here goes:<br /><br />1. My house has never been cleaner. Not only it is organized, but it has a comforting antiseptic odor!<br /><br />2. I have never had such a well-stocked fridge. Instead of eating out, we are learning to make do with what we have and use up all our ingredients.<br /><br />3. I'm using this time to teach my daughter the finer points of keeping a home. She is usually busy with school and activities, so I had foolishly excused her from doing many household chores. Yesterday, I found out that she didn't know how to sweep properly with a broom. Today's lesson was on how to use the coffee maker.<br /><br />4. I ordered an adult coloring book and some new markers today at my daughter's request. I look forward to some relaxing time with her. <br /><br />5. I downloaded an album by Queen and have been listening to that instead of constantly watching the news.<br /><br />6. I called my best girlfriends this morning just to check in. We didn't have to wait until evening when we were tired and ready for bed.<br /> <br />7. All my laundry is already done.<br /><br />8. And last but not least, I think many times throughout the day how grateful I am that my family and friends are safe and healthy. I pray it will stay that way.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Susan</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-03-30T09:01:00Z
Just Shut Up!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Just-Shut-Up!/763820433717527321.html
2020-03-27T09:01:00Z
2020-03-27T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I want to thank you for teaching me to just "<em>shut up!</em>" By keeping quiet in certain situations, I have changed my life for the better. Here are five real life examples where your simple advice really worked:<br /><br /></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li>1. When my husband tells me a story I've heard 100 times, I simply am quiet and let him talk. I've realized I'm his best friend and I'm lucky to have him share with me.</li>
</ul>
<div></div>
<ul>
<li>2. When my kids are trying to tell me something, I've learned that I should shut up and listen to them. That's all. They just want to be heard.</li>
</ul>
<div></div>
<ul>
<li>3. When people gossip to me about others, by simply keeping my mouth shut, they STOP gossiping! They now know I'm not interested in their gossip and they move on. </li>
</ul>
<div></div>
<ul>
<li>4. When my husband is dealing with his parents, I don't need to say anything. I don't need to add my unnecessary opinion. I just shut up and allow him to handle his family. I'm nice and respectful, and he takes care of the rest.</li>
</ul>
<div></div>
<ul>
<li>5. By literally keeping my mouth shut, I've lost fifteen pounds! In the last seven months I've changed my eating habits by not eating as often and I've lost weight with little effort. I intend to keep going and am very thankful for your advice to just keep my mouth shut!</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>Ginger</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-03-27T09:01:00Z
Facing Our Fears
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Facing-Our-Fears/461798930209286020.html
2020-03-26T09:01:00Z
2020-03-26T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />Hi Dr Laura,<br /> <br />My husband and I were out riding our tandem bike with our 6-month-old Chesapeake puppy running alongside. We went on the bike path that goes underneath a six-lane road. Our Chesapeake started to panic and get scared, so to the surprise of my husband, I tried to start pedaling really quickly to get us out of there. When my husband asked me what I was doing, I said "<em>We have to get him out of here, he's scared.</em>" My husband's response was "<em>No way. We need to take it slow and get him accustomed to this.</em>" So, needless to say, we slowly worked our way underneath this bridge and by the end, our Chessie was acting like nothing had happened.<br /> <br />A few days later I had to chuckle when I was thinking back on this situation and thought about your comments on how men and women have a different role to play in raising kids; in our case our kid is our puppy. I wanted to protect our Chessie and get him out of there, whereas my husband saw the need to let him be uncomfortable and make him face this situation so he could grow and not be scared again. <br /> <br />Megan</div>
<div> </div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-03-26T09:01:00Z
Growing a Backbone
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Growing-a-Backbone/726024346028045365.html
2020-03-25T09:01:00Z
2020-03-25T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />My son is now a strapping 16-year-old and does a fine job of remembering homework assignments, books, his lunch, and it's all thanks to you! <br /><br />When he was in elementary school, I was guilty of running to school when he forgot his lunch, his assignment, his WHATEVER. Then I heard you talk about allowing a child to fail, so they learn to be responsible on their own.<br /> <br />One morning we were on our way to school and he said, "<em>Oh Mom, I forgot my permission slip for next week's field trip. Can you bring it later? I'll get extra credit for having it in today.</em>" I heard you whispering on my shoulder, and I said, "<em>Sorry son, Dr. Laura said I had to grow a backbone. You'll have to bring it in tomorrow.</em>" He fell apart, crying, begging, and I felt like ogre-mom. But I stood my ground, and life did carry on.</div>
<div><br />The NEXT time he forgot something, my answer was the same, and he just sighed and said, "<em>I hate Dr. Laura's backbone!</em>" He would still occasionally forget things, but much less so, and when he did forget, there was no fuss, no muss. So, I want to thank the YOU of about 10 years ago, who put me on the right track as a parent, and you can take some credit for the fine man my son will become. <br /><br />Thank you for your service to parents everywhere. Love you Dr. Laura!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Becky</div>
<div> </div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-03-25T09:01:00Z
My Light Bulb Moment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Light-Bulb-Moment/409186574602305309.html
2020-03-24T09:01:00Z
2020-03-24T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br /></div>
<div>I have been listening to you for at least 8 years now, and I have always loved you. <br />I am a mommy to two wonderful little kids. My little boy is 4 years old, and he is so insightful! <br /> <br />He loves to help Mommy cook. We were making cupcakes for my daughter's birthday recently, and he was stirring and stirring the batter. I said, "<em>You are such a good cook! Are you going to cook for Mommy when you grow up?</em>" He stopped stirring, thought for about 5 seconds, and said: "<em>No, I gotta get me a wife!</em>"<br /><br /></div>
<div>My husband heard it in the other room, and we were both dying laughing!!! It made me think how important we are to our little boys and our big boys, and the caring for them starts early. I had a light bulb moment!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Annette</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-03-24T09:01:00Z
The House We've Made a Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-House-Weve-Made-a-Home/-192033447059899386.html
2020-03-23T09:01:00Z
2020-03-23T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />My husband made it clear when I was pregnant with our daughter that I would be a stay-at-home mom, and that my job from then on would be to nurture her and any other future children we'd have. We had two kids in three years, and our days were filled with walks, swimming, trips to the public library and loads of at-home playtime. I always took short videos of our adventures several times a month, so I now have an online library of hundreds of recorded memories from when my kids were babies until now. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Recently, my daughter (now 10) asked if I had ever been mean to them when they were little. I was shocked and puzzled by the question until she said she sometimes saw other mothers who were so impatient and mean to their little kids! So, showed my kids some of my favorite video clips from when they were tiny. It was obvious how happy they were in our home. We made simple chores of making the bed into a game of peek-a-boo with the sheets; we washed dishes in a sink full of bubbles to play in; they had afternoon rides on the lawnmower in Daddy's arms to put them to sleep. My kids love the little house we've made a home. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Thank you for being the angel on my shoulder who whispers guidance and wisdom into my ear daily. You've helped me grow by leaps and bounds in the short eight months since I've become an obsessive listener!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Nicorie</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-03-23T09:01:00Z
I Chose To Be Here
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Chose-To-Be-Here/282823941392727609.html
2020-03-20T09:01:00Z
2020-03-20T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I am the mom of an almost 2-year-old boy. Today when I woke up, I had all kinds of plans. We were going to go shopping, meet a friend to look at furniture, a bike ride in the afternoon, etc. While I was getting ready, my boy was very upset, and I couldn't figure out why. Turns out he had a fever. My plans were instantly cancelled.</div>
<div><br />I spent the morning giving medicine, encouraging fluids, and snuggling on the couch. Right now, he is taking a nap and I can't help but think of how lucky I am to be a stay-at-home mom. I didn't have to panic trying to figure out what to do with him so I could go to work. I DID NOT have to feel INCONVENIENCED my child is sick, and he MESSED UP my work schedule. I can just be here for him and take care of my little boy's needs.</div>
<div><br />But as I kept thinking, I realized it wasn't luck!!! I CHOSE to be here. My husband CHOSE to work hard to keep me home. I CHOSE to give up my career, to live on very little money, to be here for our child. Is this a sacrifice? No! Life is much more simple, relaxed, and HAPPY!!!</div>
<div><br />Thank you for all your support for stay-at-home moms.</div>
<div><br />Kathryn</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-03-20T09:01:00Z
The Most Challenging Job I Have Ever Taken
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Most-Challenging-Job-I-Have-Ever-Taken/-103642445357607198.html
2020-03-19T09:01:00Z
2020-03-19T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />With your support and teachings, I have happily stayed home with my kids, have kept a stress-free home and husband, and been able to work around my family's schedule from home. My kids barely notice that I work part-time as a software engineer. </div>
<div><br />Once we had kids, with full support from my husband, I re-routed my own professional ambition in order to raise two happy, responsible and well-adjusted kids. It has not been easy; in fact, it's been the most challenging job or project I have ever taken on! But staying home with my kids has paid off one thousand-fold, and it's more satisfying to see them confidently take on the world than any workplace job could have ever possibly been. </div>
<div><br />Several months ago, you did an opening commentary about how to give your kids a pep talk. You told a story of how your dad would tell you to "<em>Give 'em hell!</em>" when you took on a challenge. Now I've adopted those three simple, but meaningful, words as my pep talk to my kids when they're about to take on dance competitions, baseball games, geometry tests or swim meets. In return, I get a huge smile and a thumbs up from them, and that means everything. Thank you for helping guide my life for the better. And keep on "<em>giving 'em hell!</em>"<br /><br /></div>
<div>Shannon</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-03-19T09:01:00Z
The Consequences of Divorce
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Consequences-of-Divorce/789841350677669040.html
2020-03-18T09:01:00Z
2020-03-18T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br /><span>About ten years ago, I was in the process of separating from my husband, who was having an affair with our 19-year-old babysitter. Our four children ranged in age at that time from 1 to 5 years old. Despite his apologies and pleas for forgiveness, I just wanted out</span><strong></strong><em></em>. I didn't stop to consider the consequences. By some divine coincidence, I accidentally stumbled upon your show. By listening, I was able to admit two painful things and accept responsibility for both: 1) that it was likely I had not married a person of character, and 2) I had not been my husband's girlfriend.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I could see in hindsight that my focus was on the kids and not my husband. My children should not have to pay the price for my careless choices, so I forced myself to find a way to make it all work. My husband continues to be conciliatory and to my knowledge has not repeated his mistakes. He's also now an avid listener to you. I'm grateful I stayed, but I didn't realize the impact my choice had on my kids until tonight, when my 11 year old son (in talking about a friend whose parents are divorced) said "<em>I feel like people who get divorced don't consider all the bad things that will happen to everyone in their family. I'm so glad you and daddy aren't divorced, and I won't get divorced and do that to my kids.</em>" This was a proud moment for me. Thank you for giving that to me.</div>
<div><br />Miriam</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-03-18T09:01:00Z
Standing Up For What Is Right
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Standing-Up-For-What-Is-Right/-296541579176822037.html
2020-03-17T09:01:00Z
2020-03-17T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />There was a big discussion in our school district about bullying and how it is perpetrated by a very small percentage of students. What wasn't mentioned, and the biggest problem to my mind, is all the students who stand by and do nothing.</div>
<div><br />It reminded me of an incident when my son was in the 5th grade. He was staying after school to play basketball and I had just gotten there to pick him up. Another student had come to join in the game and he was a very overweight kid (my son at the time said he was "<em>bulky</em>"). The kids playing told him to go away, teased him and started throwing the basketball at him. I was about to head over and break it up when my son grabbed the ball and in a very commanding voice (especially for a 5th grader) announced "<em>there is no reason he can't play with us; if you have a problem you can just leave now.</em>" There was a moment of silent tension followed by resuming the game.</div>
<div><br />My son was not a big or imposing kid, but he did know how to stand up for what's right. It was one of my proudest moments as a dad. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that he is a Sergeant in the Marine Corps now -- I guess standing up for what's right is just in his nature.</div>
<div><br />Pete</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-03-17T09:01:00Z
The Value of My Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Value-of-My-Children/703078256103788960.html
2020-03-16T09:01:00Z
2020-03-16T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />Twenty-two years ago, I was a high-powered saleswoman, making $200,000 a year. Since I was in the car a lot, I started listening to talk radio and there you were, telling me to stay at home with my kidlets. It didn’t even dawn on me that I should do that, because I was the breadwinner. I had a nanny and an assistant at the office, so I only worked three days a week. That was three days too many.</div>
<div><br />I started counting the hours away from my son and compared that to the hours I was at home. 24 hours away was too much to handle, so my husband and I put our heads together. We started a business that I could do from the house. I didn’t make nearly as much money, so I didn’t take lavish trips to Europe anymore. But I was at every school drop-off and pick-up. I volunteered for the classroom field trips. I played Barbies and zoo and store and basketball and hopscotch. Thanks to you and your harping, I am the proud mommy of wonderful kids. My husband and I created a stable household and they benefited. It all started with you, Dr. Laura, so thank you!</div>
<div><br />Lydia</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-03-16T09:01:00Z
Childhood Victories
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Childhood-Victories/55179147705006989.html
2020-03-13T09:01:00Z
2020-03-13T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />My 13-year-old son aspires to be a motorcycle mechanic and saved up to purchase a motor kit for his bicycle. I found him in the garage one Saturday, hunched over his bike, frustrated to the point of tears. The new bike chain that came with the kit was not cooperating, and this was his third solid day of working on it. I said to him what I wish MY dad would have said to me: "<em>Son, I can see that this is important to you, and that you're frustrated. In moments like this, I wish I had someone there beside me, so I didn't feel alone. So, if you like, I'll just be here with you. I won't take charge, touch a tool or tell you what you should do. This is YOUR fight, and I wouldn't dream of stealing this win from you. But I can be an extra pair of hands, because sometimes one pair isn't enough. Or I can be quiet and listen if you need to vent, talk things out or bounce ideas off me. But know that you are on the right path to becoming an expert mechanic. The best ones in the world put in their time just like you're doing now to become experts.</em>"</div>
<div><br />He stopped and said, "<em>can I say a curse word?</em>" After a little PG-13 comment, he led our two-man team and overcame that chain within an hour. You wouldn't believe the boost of confidence that win gave him. And all I did was just be there and listen to him. To do anything more would have stolen a victory from him and a golden father-son memory for both of us. <br /><br /></div>
<div>John</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-03-13T09:01:00Z
Learning to Give at a Young Age
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-to-Give-at-a-Young-Age/565034493572932770.html
2020-03-12T09:01:00Z
2020-03-12T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />My son made a lemonade and cookies refreshment stand in our neighborhood. He sat out in the hot sun for hours and only made three dollars. Even though I had him use sunscreen, he got burned a bit. He closed up the stand, and we decided to go buy him some relief for his sunburn. <br /><br /></div>
<div>As we headed out of the parking lot, we drove past a man panhandling on the corner. My boy noticed his family under a tree nearby to escape the sun, and then he said "<em>Mom, turn around please. I want to give my three dollars to that man.</em>" I said "<em>Honey, you worked so hard and in the heat all day for the money, so it's not a bad thing that you keep what you've earned</em>." He insisted, saying "<em>that man has a family with him, and he needs it more than I do.</em>" So, since HE had earned it, I turned around and he gave the three dollars to the family. I was so proud of how hard he worked for the money and then how giving he was at the young age of nine. I'm also proud of my husband, the man who has helped develop such great boys who will no doubt make wonderful husbands and fathers one day.</div>
<div><br />Jordan</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-03-12T09:01:00Z
Your Impact on My Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Your-Impact-on-My-Family/678095511231241433.html
2020-03-11T09:01:00Z
2020-03-11T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />You had a caller recently who decided to re-marry and move across the country, leaving her ten-year-old boy behind. My eleven-year-old son was listening and was deeply affected by the call, so much so that he asked me why a mom would leave her son. He then proceeded to say how wrong she was and how he felt sad for the boy.<br /><br /></div>
<div>As we pulled into our driveway, still discussing the call, we got out and he came over to me and gave me a big hug, saying "<em>I'm glad you're my mom!</em>" With tears in my eyes, I realized your wise words have great impact on us and I appreciate all you do and say. Thank you!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Layla</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-03-11T09:01:00Z
How To Treat Your Siblings
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-To-Treat-Your-Siblings/-321512410813464820.html
2020-03-10T09:01:00Z
2020-03-10T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>I received a few jokes from my grandmother today in an email. I really strive to listen to the advice of this woman, who successfully raised 3 of her own children and 3 of her husband's children (both were widowed when they married). This one caught my eye especially as I am raising my own children!<br /><br /></div>
<div>"<em>A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six-year olds. After explaining the commandment to 'Honor thy father and thy mother,' she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?</em>'<br /><br /></div>
<div>Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, '<em>Thou shall not kill..'</em> "<br /><br /></div>
<div>From the mouths of babes!! Thank you for being the voice, not only of reason, but responsibility!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Cindy</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-03-10T09:01:00Z
My Favorite Thing To Do
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Favorite-Thing-To-Do/156966487061311685.html
2020-03-09T09:01:00Z
2020-03-09T09:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>Most Sundays I play children's games like "<em>I Spy</em>" and the "<em>Guessing Game</em>" with our 3-year-old son and 6-year-old daughter. Last weekend, the game de jour was the Guessing Game and my daughter started with the question "<em>What do you think is my favorite thing to do in the world?</em>"<br /><br /></div>
<div>Characteristically, as a male adult I began to rattle off those activities I thought a child would most enjoy. My guesses went on and on....the "<em>daddy-daughter</em>" dance, working in the garden or cooking together, making s'mores, riding the tractor, going to the dollar store, painting projects in the garage, the vacations we take, hiking in the woods, making our bonfires or playing soccer (which I coach). None of these was the correct answer.</div>
<div><br />Finally, exhausted, I gave up and asked her what was her favorite thing in the world? She replied, "<em>spending time with my family</em>". She went on to say "<em>I don't care about the vacations or where we go or what we do. I just like to be with my family.</em>"<br /><br /></div>
<div>I am not an overly emotional guy, but I nearly choked up in tears. Sometimes as an adult I attach significance to activities and spending money. In the end, my daughter did not care about what we do or how much it cost - but instead she cared about just being together.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Jim</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-03-09T09:01:00Z
Men Have Different Wiring
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Men-Have-Different-Wiring/365219547943463108.html
2020-03-06T10:01:00Z
2020-03-06T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I realized this morning it's time to thank you for all I've learned from you, and how each incremental move I make to show my husband he is loved comes back to me in wonderful ways.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Lately, since I need to get up early to feed my daughter breakfast before school (she leaves the house at 6:30), I've been making the occasional breakfast for my honey as well and sending many more lunches from home than before. My old attitude was: "<em>he's a grown-up - he can get his own lunch.</em>" (I do all of the cooking and feeding around here, so his lunch needs were a little break for me, and he'd go out to lunch with work friends). Well, I really think those lunches I pack make him feel cared for and happy. I also know looking cute for him takes some effort, but it really means a lot to him. And of course, my whole attitude about a man's need for sex has changed - it's not that I was withholding before, just that I didn't make it a priority. Now I realize how men are wired, and it makes ALL the difference to physically show him he's loved. The changes from him aren't overwhelming, but his level of appreciation for me is palpably more solid, and that's what works for me. Another bonus is that we laugh a lot more. That's really the best.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Jackie</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-03-06T10:01:00Z
How To Impress Yourself
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-To-Impress-Yourself/-636938904462971771.html
2020-03-05T10:01:00Z
2020-03-05T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />Since I've been listening to you, I've heard many callers ask you how to boost their "<em>self-esteem</em>," only to have you tell them that they must impress themselves rather than try to "<em>love themselves</em>" when they know they could be doing more for themselves. I struggled with this so-called "<em>low self-esteem</em>" for years, and finally decided to listen to you instead! I don't know why I waited so long.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I decided to do something I knew would be difficult for me - run a 5K race. I started training four times a week. When I started, I could barely run half-a-mile continuously. After a few months, I was ready to race. I am now training for my fifth 5K and then an 8K in the future. Your words of wisdom and guidance have helped me more than you will ever know. You showed me how to impress myself, and therefore change my whole outlook about myself. I wish more people would take this advice and wouldn't wait as long as I did. I cannot thank you enough. <br /><br /></div>
<div>With the utmost gratitude,<br /><br /></div>
<div>Meghan</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-03-05T10:01:00Z
THIS Is Romance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/THIS-Is-Romance/-648121249680043625.html
2020-03-04T10:01:00Z
2020-03-04T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />On Valentine's Day, my husband left me a packet of Google Earth images in my car, and he had listed "<em>where and why</em>" next to each image. The images were places where important milestones had taken place in our relationship. There were quite a few of them, and it made my heart melt. THIS was romance!<br /><br /></div>
<div>I always cringe when I hear some of the young women who call you complain that their husbands don't bring them flowers/candy or jewelry. I wish they would understand that true and deep love is not what they read about or what their friends tell them or what they get in the way of gifts. Those are fleeting. True love is shown in what my husband left in my car, because he took the time to show how much he valued and appreciated all that we have gone through as a couple. I don't want the other stuff. I want what I received on Valentine's Day.<br /><br /></div>
<div>My husband has my heart, and he is careful with protecting it. Please keep saying that men just want to be loved, cared for and listened to (sex is good too)! My marriage has been so much better once I "got" that and understood it, all thanks to you.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Karen</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-03-04T10:01:00Z
We Were Blessed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Were-Blessed/-440263516669334374.html
2020-03-03T10:01:00Z
2020-03-03T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />Through listening to you, I came to realize what wonderful parents my brother and I were blessed with. My mom was tough, but fair. My dad traveled during the week, so she was judge, jury and executioner. Yet we never heard "<em>wait until your Dad gets home!</em>" We were raised to "<em>not disappoint our parents.</em>" I wasn't afraid of them, but I truly respected them. A year ago, while my mom battled for her life with lung cancer, heart failure and diabetes, I said to her "<em>Mom, thank you for not being a drunk, drug addict , meddlesome in my marriage and for always being there for my brother and me.</em>" Her simple reply was "<em>you're welcome.</em>"<br /><br /></div>
<div>She rallied and came home six months ago, and one evening, she said she would feel better if she went and laid down, so she went to their bedroom, where in a few minutes she passed away. We were all surprised, but as we looked back on it, it was a blessing, since she passed in peace and not in a hospital, and we were all nearby. She was proud of being part of the "<em>greatest generation</em>" and lots of times I find myself telling my 91-year-old father "<em>well, you know what Mom would say.</em>" She was quick-witted and tough on the outside, but a marshmallow in the inside. I've learned that good parents build a strong foundation for their children and don't seem to leave them until they know the children can carry on.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Valerie</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-03-03T10:01:00Z
Never Give Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Never-Give-Up/75277846042611185.html
2020-03-02T10:01:00Z
2020-03-02T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />My husband was medically retired from the armed services about a year ago and retired as an officer. He was lost in the civilian world, but since his pay was half of what it had been, he had to find a different job fast.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I offered to help, but he stood firm in my staying home, even though our boys were teenagers in school. He said he would do whatever it took to make sure we were taken care of and I didn't need to worry about anything. He worked at a civilian job working weekends and overtime if he could.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I'm happy to report that he recently obtained a job as a civilian employee for the armed services. He never gave up, and persevered until he found a job to better suit his personality. He remained strong in the belief that I should be at home taking care of everything as I have done for over 16 years. Even though our kids are older, they need to know I'm there if they need me. And my husband likes coming home to a well-rested girlfriend every night. So, changing the way we have built our happy home didn't seem like the smart thing to do. <br /><br /></div>
<div>I'm so happy to have chosen such a real man to be the best husband and father I could ever have dreamed of happening. Without his strength, courage and love, I would not be the woman I am today.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Jodie</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-03-02T10:01:00Z
Boys School Made All The Difference
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Boys-School-Made-All-The-Difference/334091875510714960.html
2020-02-28T10:01:00Z
2020-02-28T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />When my son was 14, he was unhappy, doing poorly academically and showing signs of depression. My husband and I decided he should apply to private schools in our area, and he welcomed the idea. He was accepted to an expensive boys' school, and we drained our emergency fund to pay his tuition. In the years to come, my husband and I both worked over 50 hours a week to pay tuition and save for his college. This turned out to be one of the best decisions we ever made.<br /><br />Our son finished high school and graduated from college, and is now living on his own and excelling at his new professional position. The boys' school knew how to educate boys, making participation in sports mandatory, as well as requiring school jobs and community service. Many of the teachers had the boys take breaks during class by running around the quad and even having snowball fights. Our son felt understood and cared about by his teachers and all worked diligently to help him succeed. The fact that the curriculum catered to the interests and concerns of young men helped them immensely. We believe this school saved our son's life and defined his future. Thank you for often advocating for same sex education. </div>
<div><br />Sabrina</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-02-28T10:01:00Z
Doing the Right Thing For My Future Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Doing-the-Right-Thing-For-My-Future-Family/446626640274824460.html
2020-02-27T10:01:00Z
2020-02-27T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I'm 33 years old and currently 30 weeks pregnant with our first child. I grew up knowing that I would never quit my career - that I could keep my career AND still be able to have children and be a good mother. However, after having found you a few years ago, I've decided to quit my career and become a full-time mom. My husband is fully supportive of that choice, but I'm getting very nervous thinking about suddenly stopping my career.<br /><br />All I know and all I've ever known since graduate school is my career. I'm worried that I'll regret quitting. Every working mom I talk to tells me that staying home drove them insane. I don't see how spending time at home with your baby would drive you nuts, but I've never been a mom OR been unemployed! This may sound strange, but I consider all my professional projects my "<em>babies</em>" because of the amount of time and stress that goes into completing each one. So, in a way, I feel like I'm abandoning my <em>"babies"</em> to have real human babies. I find that I have to explain my choice to others, because many women today disagree with the idea of staying home to raise their kids. I get a lot of dirty looks and my feelings get hurt, but I know I'm doing the right thing. However, please keep reminding those of us making this choice that it's the right thing to do, no matter how it feels at first. Thank you for helping me take the brave (and correct) option for my future family.<br /><br />Roxanne</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-02-27T10:01:00Z
A Guiding Light
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Guiding-Light/-781303793703054052.html
2020-02-26T10:01:00Z
2020-02-26T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>When I was 12, my dad (with whom I'm very close) came to me, sat me down and said to me "<em>You are about to be a teenager soon. When you're a teenager, you will think you are the smartest person in the world. And when you think that, just keep in mind you will be at the dumbest period of your life.</em>"<br /><br /></div>
<div>My parents separated when I was 16 and my dad moved out. But thanks to his lesson, I didn't do anything dumb (like get into drugs, alcohol or sex). I graduated in the top ten of my high school class, got an engineering degree, and was able to support myself right out of college. My dad has since gone to take care of his aging parents.<br /><br /></div>
<div>When I have kids, I will give them the same lesson my dad gave me. Thank you, Dr. Laura for being a guiding light.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Cindy</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-02-26T10:01:00Z
Solemn Occasions
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Solemn-Occasions/-856975675245891498.html
2020-02-25T10:01:00Z
2020-02-25T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />Your thoughts on who should be invited to a wedding are spot on. Thirty-six years ago, my wife and I decided that only people who were important in our lives would be invited to our wedding. To ensure this would happen, we paid for everything ourselves.<br /><br /></div>
<div>We told our two sons about what we did before both of them got married, and they thought it was a wonderful idea. Throughout the planning stages of the two weddings, we constantly heard "<em>I can't wait for this person to meet that person.</em>" At each respective wedding, I was asked by my daughters-in-law to offer a toast. Here's what I said on both occasions:<br /><br /></div>
<div><em>"Please raise your glass. I'd like all of you to look around the room. You might now know a lot of the people here, but everyone that you see has played a significant role in the lives of the bride and groom. You are, to a large degree, responsible for the great people they are today. So, before we toast them, lift your glass and acknowledge each other. You've done good work!"</em><br /><br /></div>
<div>Afterward, as at our wedding long ago, people who did not know each other beforehand introduced themselves and shared stories of how they had supported or influenced the bride and groom. The weddings were, as you suggest, "<em>solemn</em>" occasions, but they were also joyous ones that everyone still talks about today.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Jon</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-02-25T10:01:00Z
Taking a Stance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-a-Stance/443316690332268417.html
2020-02-24T10:01:00Z
2020-02-24T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />Years ago, my ex-husband's brother dated a wonderful girl. They were together for several years, and I loved her like family. After I had children, she became a significant part of their lives and they loved her dearly. She and my brother-in-law eventually broke up, not on good terms, but I refused to cut her out of my life. I saw what a good person she was and chose not to let the breakup dictate my feelings. It caused some problems for me with my ex-husband's family, but I stood my ground, and here's why.<br /><br /></div>
<div>One day you said on your program something so profound that I copied it down in my phone and carried it with me ever since. You told a listener <em>"there is moral value in standing behind good people. Decent people stand behind decent people, regardless of whether they are family. People who are not decent will never understand this."</em><br /><br /></div>
<div>I kept her in my and my children's lives and we grew even closer over the years. Last year she was diagnosed with an incredibly aggressive form of cancer and she passed away at only age 29. Because of you, I didn't miss out on knowing one of the kindest people I've ever met, and because of your advice, my children and I were beyond fortunate to have had her in our lives. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Thank you so much. Sometimes you have more of an impact than you know.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Jessica</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-02-24T10:01:00Z
It'll Never Happen To Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Itll-Never-Happen-To-Me/847248254974495509.html
2020-02-21T10:01:00Z
2020-02-21T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I am quite sure you get a lot of "I<em> should have listened to you</em>" emails, but here is another one. I divorced my daughter's dad and five years later, I remarried. Every day prior to the wedding, I would wait in the car line at my daughter's school listening to you tell stories of how second marriages with stepchildren usually end in divorce and the step-parent would not treat the child as his own. I thought it would never happen to me.</div>
<div><br />A few months after the wedding, it became obvious that my new husband was extremely jealous of my relationship with my 8-year-old daughter and, therefore, treated her horribly. He would say he was counting down the days until she was 18 so she would leave, and I would only pay attention to him. I would never have thought this person I married could say such mean things to a child. It was a living nightmare. We tried counseling for several months, but it was apparent things would never change. Because my daughter is the most important thing in my life, I divorced him.<br /><br /></div>
<div>The good news is I am taking your advice and not dating until my daughter is 18. My friends think I am crazy, but I don't care. My daughter is now 12 and for the next 6 years my goal is to raise her to be a well-adjusted, moral adult. No man will ever come between my daughter and me, because I won't put us in that position again. My daughter loves that she gets me to herself. To make life even better, when she is at school, I am at work and when she is out of school, I am with her. I truly have become my kid's mom again.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Jenny</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-02-21T10:01:00Z
Making It Work
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-It-Work/49356032362183534.html
2020-02-21T04:03:00Z
2020-02-21T04:03:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />Hi Dr. Laura,</div>
<div><br />My husband and I have a 4-month-old baby. As you can imagine, our sex life has slowed down a bit. The other night we had some time to ourselves. We started to fool around, but I started to have an "<em>emotional moment</em>" about my new mommy body. My husband, however, told me how he still found me sexy, and while I was able to get past my breakdown, the moment was pretty much ruined.</div>
<div><br />Instead of letting it pass, however, I got things rolling again (because I heard you in my head!). I knew how unfair it was to him, getting him all excited, with no end reward. And I knew we don't have many opportunities for intimate time. So, I pulled myself together and had some playtime on the couch with my honey! If I would've listened to how I felt inside, I would've put my clothes back on and gone to sleep, but I sealed the deal, because my husband and my marriage are important to me. <br /> <br />Diana</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-02-21T04:03:00Z
We Were Truly Blessed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Were-Truly-Blessed/74673003739141401.html
2020-02-20T10:01:00Z
2020-02-20T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />Through listening to you, I came to realize what wonderful parents my brother and I were blessed with. My mom was tough, but fair. My dad traveled during the week, so she was judge, jury and executioner. Yet we never heard "<em>wait until your Dad gets home!</em>" We were raised to "<em>not disappoint our parents.</em>" I wasn't afraid of them, but I truly respected them. A year ago, while my mom battled for her life with lung cancer, heart failure and diabetes, I said to her "<em>Mom, thank you for not being a drunk, drug addict , meddlesome in my marriage and for always being there for my brother and me.</em>" Her simple reply was "<em>you're welcome.</em>"<br /><br /></div>
<div>She rallied and came home six months ago, and one evening, she said she would feel better if she went and laid down, so she went to their bedroom, where in a few minutes she passed away. We were all surprised, but as we looked back on it, it was a blessing, since she passed in peace and not in a hospital, and we were all nearby. She was proud of being part of the "<em>greatest generation</em>" and lots of times I find myself telling my 91-year-old father "<em>well, you know what Mom would say.</em>" She was quick-witted and tough on the outside, but a marshmallow in the inside. I've learned that good parents build a strong foundation for their children and don't seem to leave them until they know the children can carry on.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Valerie</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-02-20T10:01:00Z
Taking Charge
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-Charge/-779760703435516089.html
2020-02-19T10:01:00Z
2020-02-19T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I began drinking at age 15. My mom was an alcoholic and would buy booze for me and my friends to have parties at our house while my dad was at work. I wasn't drinking every day -- just at parties. I graduated high school and went to work at a bank, where I was a responsible employee and I got promoted.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I mixed it up on the weekends with the wrong crowd. I often didn't remember what had happened the night before. I awoke one morning to realize I was miserable and didn't like my job, the stress from my mom's drinking, and from feeling ill A LOT. I took charge!</div>
<div><br />My dad has always been my hero. He loved his job as a firefighter, so I enrolled in EMT school, loved it, got a job on an ambulance and continued schooling to become a paramedic. I then put myself through a fire academy. I started that journey at age 25 and became a paramedic at age 27 and a firefighter at age 30. I worked as a paramedic for 10 years and firefighter for 5 years.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I retired because I met the man of my dreams and now am happily married with 3 children. I love being a wife and stay-at-home mom; no job is more rewarding. I believe one thing that helped me too, was your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Stupid-Things-Women-Their-Lives/dp/0060976497" target="_blank">10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives.</a></em>" I think I did almost all of them and it took awhile for me to admit you were right. Hoping I can keep my kids from making the mistakes I did.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Tammy</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-02-19T10:01:00Z
No Regrets
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-Regrets/325532488557330075.html
2020-02-18T10:01:00Z
2020-02-18T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I was two years old when my mother walked out on me, my older brother and my dad. She said she "<em>wasn't ready to be home with children.</em>" She moved several states away and my dad raised us in an era when that was not the normal thing to do. Aunts and grandmas came to help when possible, but they couldn't offer the full-time help dad needed to be able to work and provide for my brother and me. So, he dropped us off at daycare during the week.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I hated getting up early to drive there, where strangers fed me breakfast. I felt like an inmate. I hated the ride to school from daycare, because they drove us in special vehicles that just screamed "<em>these are daycare kids!</em>" I also had to leave ten minutes before the rest of the class so I could go BACK to daycare, where we spent our afternoons waiting for our parents to arrive. We looked like we were having fun as we played kickball, but we were just waiting for someone to pick us up.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I begged my dad every day to please not make me go back there. He would tear up, but that's where I found myself the next morning. They weren't abusive or mean - they were just people who were paid to watch me. I actually was jealous of "<em>latchkey</em>" kids, because at least they got to go home, even if they were alone there. And 26 years ago, when I got married, my husband agreed that I would stay home with any kids we had. We had them and I did stay home. And neither my husband nor I have regretted that decision for one minute.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Corliss</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-02-18T10:01:00Z
Reminding Him That I'm Worth It
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Reminding-Him-That-Im-Worth-It/108861319756870259.html
2020-02-14T10:01:00Z
2020-02-14T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br /><br />I've read your book, "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a>,</em>" and I listen to the podcast of your show every day. I've learned SO MUCH since I made it a part of my morning routine to listen to your prior day's show. If I HAD NOT read your book and listened to your show, I would not be doing the following:<br /><br /></div>
<ol>
<li>Waking up with my husband two full hours before I have to in order to fix his coffee and his lunch and gab a little bit before I give him a hug and a kiss as he walks out the door. If I have time, I'll even start his car and warm it up for him.</li>
<br />
<li>Send him (alternately) loving and racy messages throughout the day... He does the same for me.</li>
<br />
<li>Make it an absolute RULE for both of us to NEVER enter our bed at night with a stitch of clothing on.</li>
<br />
<li>Always keep him lifted, privately and publicly.</li>
<br />
<li>Laughing with him A LOT. Humor is a major part of our marriage, and I look forward to a lifetime of it.</li>
</ol>
<div><br />My husband is the most precious person alive to me. He's a wonderful, loving, attentive and hard-working man who would kill or die for me. I can't imagine giving him a moment's thought to wonder if I'm really worth it.</div>
<div><br />Julie</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-02-14T10:01:00Z
I Married A Real Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Married-A-Real-Man/-986397386588659429.html
2020-02-13T10:01:00Z
2020-02-13T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I am a (predominantly) stay-at-home wife with a wonderful, caring, generous husband. I "<em>work</em>" two nights a week at a dance studio teaching ballet to ages ranging from 3-7, and then 9-17. I love teaching, but I am also expecting our first child this summer. <br /><br />My dear husband and I were talking about the baby and I mentioned I was undecided as to whether I wanted to continue teaching dance after the baby was born. On the one hand I could bring him/her with me to class, but I have concerns about exposing our child to the numerous diseases I see paraded through constantly. On the other hand, I didn't think I wanted to tie myself down to a commitment that might induce me to find a sitter because it's more convenient. As I expressed these thoughts, my husband looked down at his hands and then over to me and said "<em>Just stay home. It's my job to take care of both of you.</em>" As soon as he said that my heart melted once again for this amazing and caring man I have.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I try every day to make sure he knows how much I appreciate and love him. He is a strong, assertive, protective provider and I have never needed anything as long as we've been married. He's the only man I didn't intimidate (I'm quite tall). It sounds silly, but for a woman who intimidated every man she had ever gone out with, the confidence was a refreshing change. Because of his confidence, I knew I could let down my guard and he would protect me at any cost. I am never afraid when he is around. He is the classic "<em>Real Man</em>," and I am the luckiest woman in the world to have him.<br /><br />Thank you for reminding women of who our husbands want and need to be, and for giving us the courage to let them live up to their potential!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Amanda</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-02-13T10:01:00Z
My Forever Honey
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Forever-Honey/-5421569112969001.html
2020-02-12T10:01:00Z
2020-02-12T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />Dear Dr. Laura:</div>
<div><br />From the moment I met my honey, he started making my life better. From his all-around smiles toward me to his interest in finding out what makes me tick, he has been good to me.</div>
<div><br />When we were dating, he took time to find out what I liked to do, and we did that on our dates. Luckily, we have a lot in common. He helped me with car troubles, friendship squabbles, and even walking my dog. Selfless and always a gentleman, he opens my car door, cooks me meals, brings me flowers to cheer me up or "<em>just because.</em>" What girl could resist all that!</div>
<div><br />He is now my "<em>forever honey</em>" and we are married with two children. He helps out around the home and is an absolute hands-on daddy. I pray I never take what I have for granted. I am the most blessed and happiest woman alive.</div>
<div><br />Emily</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-02-12T10:01:00Z
In Sickness And In Health
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/In-Sickness-And-In-Health/-819603182317644110.html
2020-02-11T10:01:00Z
2020-02-11T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I am writing to tell my story of how the vows, "<em>...in sickness and in health...</em>" have reigned true in my marriage earlier than we thought they would. I am 24 and my husband is 27. We've been married for the best two years of my life. He is an Iraq veteran and the most strong and sensitive man I have ever met.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Since we got married, we have dealt with many strange minor health issues; the most recent one is why I am here typing. He has been the most amazing man and caretaker through it all. After having outpatient surgery, I was left with an open wound. My hubby is the nurse who gets to cause me A LOT of pain (which is so hard for a man) by caring for my wound. He has completely stepped up to the plate and is being my nurse, caretaker, cook, and maid among many other job titles. He has not complained ONE time and has been incredibly gracious and loving to me throughout the process. He only reminds me this is what a husband does, and this is what the wedding vows truly mean.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I am overcome with emotion from his treatment and truly believe it is because of your guidance which taught me to be his girlfriend! I strive to treat kindly and with each day I am reminded I chose wisely. I am anxiously waiting for my wound to heal up so I can get all dolled up and pay him back for all his selflessness (if you know what I mean)!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Alicia</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-02-11T10:01:00Z
The Importance Of Being A Mommy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-Of-Being-A-Mommy/275159783301346575.html
2020-02-10T10:01:00Z
2020-02-10T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I am a 31-year-old mom of two small boys, aged 3 and 7 months. I'm also a nurse. I struggled giving up a career I loved, especially on the hard days when I was drowning in dirty diapers, vomit and toys strewn all over. It's also been hard because of pressure from friends and other family to go back to work.<br /><br /></div>
<div>The other day, I was cooking and doing chores while my littlest was napping and my oldest came up to me and hugged my leg. I kneeled down and hugged him really quick. Suddenly, he grabbed my neck and started singing to me: "<em>You love me a lot, you hug me a lot, you kiss me a lot, you hold me a lot....</em>" In that moment, I was brought to tears and was reminded how important the work I was doing by being at home with him truly was. Who else could love him like that all day, every day? Even though I didn't think he noticed, he proved to me he understood even at three years old how much he was loved because mommy is home. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Thank you for reminding me day in and day out how important being a mommy really is. When the world tells me one thing, I have you whispering in my ear, and I'm so thankful I followed your advice.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Bethany</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-02-10T10:01:00Z
Taming The Nagging Monster Inside
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taming-The-Nagging-Monster-Inside/877168924905758871.html
2020-02-07T10:01:00Z
2020-02-07T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I am embarrassed to admit a year into my marriage I became something I never wanted to be - a nag! We had a wonderful marriage during the week while we were working, but on the weekend, my husband would sit down and play more than 20 hours of video games and it caused a fight. I nagged him constantly about it. When I look back at my behavior, I'm not at all surprised he didn't want to spend time with me.<br /><br /></div>
<div>What bothered me about the gaming was I didn't like working hard all weekend while my husband got to be lazy. I waited all week to spend time with him on the weekends and instead he ignored me. I finally explained these things to him when we were having a good day. I was surprised to find out he wished I would quit doing things around the house and come be lazy with him. We had a real discussion instead of a fight because he didn't feel he needed to be on the defensive. Now on the weekends he plays several hours each day and I find something to do curled up against him, like reading a book. Then we go out and do things together. We're both so relaxed, we can joke around and have fun together. It really hasn't been an issue since.</div>
<div><br />When I nagged, I was met with a brick wall, but when I treated my husband like an adult, we were able to make effective changes to our marriage. I will remember that when I feel the nagging monster trying to re-emerge in the future.</div>
<div><br />Becky</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-02-07T10:01:00Z
My Perfect Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Perfect-Husband/-90014536943586080.html
2020-02-06T10:01:00Z
2020-02-06T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />My husband and I have been great fans of yours. My husband had a very tragic childhood and young adult life going into mid-life. When he and I married (he 50, me 43), I figured out his life had not been validated by any one person; I wasn't doing anything special, so I just dedicated my life to making him happy.</div>
<div><br />At first, he thought there was an "<em>angle,</em>" but when he found out my only angle was for him to be happy, he became very happy. A happy husband makes a happy wife. It is not rocket science. He was so happy he wanted me to buy your book so he could see what you left out because I was perfect!</div>
<div><br />My perfect husband died a long and painful death. At the end, I think he actually expected me to leave because it isn't easy to watch, but when he figured out I was there unto the end, he looked at me as if I had wings behind me with a halo on top. I will love him forever.</div>
<div>Thank you so much, as you also taught him a lot about living and having a good life.</div>
<div><br />Lorene</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-02-06T10:01:00Z
Rebuilding My Universe
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Rebuilding-My-Universe/922046127707977968.html
2020-02-05T10:01:00Z
2020-02-05T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I was 20 years old when I got married to a great man. He would walk on water for me. Then we had 2 kids, and he became some lazy bum who came home from work, watched TV, ate all the food I just cooked, messed up the house, and always complained about the kids being too whiny!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Well, I bought your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>" recently and am only on chapter 4, but I must say in the few days it has taken me to read this far, it has really proved to me that HE never really changed. I was the one NAGGING, COMPLAINING, seeing things as NEVER GOOD ENOUGH and having a BAD SEX LIFE. I was so stressed out with kids and the house that by the time he got home, I wanted nothing to do with him and just wanted to take a shower, lay in bed and watch TV.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Thank you for this book! He came home not feeling well, and I gave him a little surprise (wink, wink) and he was in shock! I haven't done that since before the kids were born! He loved it and his whole attitude changed! The next day I put on make-up, his favorite shirt of mine and some perfume and just smiled as he walked in the door. He was pleasantly surprised to see me happy. Today I am not sure what I am going to do but I know if I want us to be a happily married couple, then <strong>my </strong>attitude must change and make him the center of my universe again!!! Thank you!!!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Hannah</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-02-05T10:01:00Z
It's All Worth It
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-All-Worth-It/35208540591656141.html
2020-02-04T10:01:00Z
2020-02-04T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />This month, my husband and I will celebrate 30 years of marriage. During that time, there have been things one or the other of us has wanted to do, but the responsible thing was to wait. The top item on my "<em>Bucket list</em>" is to ride in a World War II-era B-17 bomber aircraft. I have wanted to do that for as long as I can remember, but by the time I could afford to, we had 3 kids. Now that our two sons are in the Navy and our daughter is almost done with college, I can think about doing it.</div>
<div><br />I have never believed or felt I was being deprived of doing something because of our kids. Our kids have always come first. We have always put their needs ahead of ours. If their needs were met, it met our needs. We are blessed with three children who are polite, honest and respectable. Of course, it was a lot of work, but we treasure all three of them.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Last year, our son graduated from Navy Nuke "<em>A</em>" School. He left a voice message on his Dad's phone that was beautiful - he ended it with "<em>I love you and Mom so much.</em>"<br /><br /></div>
<div>Was all the "<em>sacrifice</em>" worth it? You bet!! Keep up the good work.</div>
<div><br />Diane</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-02-04T10:01:00Z
No Refunds, No Exchanges, And No Returns
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-Refunds,-No-Exchanges,-And-No-Returns/127070856995969208.html
2020-02-03T10:01:00Z
2020-02-03T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br /></div>
<div>I married when I was 33 and my husband was 28. It's a first marriage for both of us. We went through a lot right from the beginning. I thought I was pregnant, but much to our surprise, we found out I had a growth on both ovaries and had to have surgery. Our hope for future children was taken in an instant. My alpha male of a husband held my hand and assured me we would be fine.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Shortly after this experience, I had some health issues that resulted in a diagnosis of lupus. Again, my husband stepped up and decided I would stay home, and it would all be fine. We will be married 15 years this month. <br /><br /></div>
<div>I remember my grandmother telling me long ago that when I looked at a guy for possible marriage, I should see what he is like with family. I'm proud to say I did well. On the day of our rehearsal dinner, my soon-to-be mother-in-law announced "<em>No refunds, no exchanges, and no returns. He's all yours!</em>" He is all mine, and I'm thankful I get the opportunity to be his girlfriend and his wife.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Carrie</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-02-03T10:01:00Z
Thank You For All You Do
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You-For-All-You-Do/940259102464802550.html
2020-01-31T10:01:00Z
2020-01-31T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br /></div>
<div>I called you recently, and I want to thank you for providing me with a new word as an alternative to "<em>fighting</em>" cancer. "<em>Tolerating</em>" treatment works great for me. I was stuck on the "<em>fighting</em>" word, because, according to my doctors, this is a fight that will not result in remission. So, I felt as if I was treading water, and I was getting tired.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Now, when someone asks me, "<em>How goes the fight?</em>" or "<em>Are you beating it?</em>" I can answer "<em>I am tolerating treatment.</em>" It really helped me when you said that I DID fight to get to this point - and now I tolerate. That made a lot of sense. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Thank you for everything you do. It's important work. And thank you for sharing your cancer story with me and the rest of your listeners. That was special and helps all of us who have our own story to tell.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Much love,<br /><br /></div>
<div>Karen</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-01-31T10:01:00Z
Taking Sides
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-Sides/-668992799996146219.html
2020-01-30T10:01:00Z
2020-01-30T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I've heard you talk about choosing to support your daughter or your wife and wanted to share this story with you...<br /><br /></div>
<div>A Navy officer once told the story of how he came home from work and found his daughter on the front step. She proceeded to start complaining about how annoy<em>ing her mom was and how she wasn't being fair in a particular dispute. And he replied, "That woman is my wife, and the mother of my child. If you think I will be taking your side, you need to understand she has given me the greatest gift - and has always been there for me, before you were born, and will be after you move out. If you have a problem, you need to solve it with her.</em>"<br /><br /></div>
<div>He didn't know his wife was just inside, and could hear him... <br /><br />An awesome story. Thought you'd like it.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Susan</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-01-30T10:01:00Z
One Moment Can Change Everything
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/One-Moment-Can-Change-Everything/732143427733819394.html
2020-01-29T10:01:00Z
2020-01-29T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I cherish every moment I spend listening to you. So often, you challenge my thinking and get me to look at things differently, which is precisely what you did earlier this month. You had a caller who had experienced three deaths and found out her husband was cheating on her with another man. She kept repeating to you, "<em>It's just so hard.</em>" Even after you gave an example of survivors of the Holocaust moving on, I still wasn't "<em>getting it</em>," and neither was she.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Then you suggested she look behind, look forward, look behind again, and then look forward, and a giant light bulb went off for me. When you asked the caller if anything behind her went away when she was looking forward, that was my "<em>aha</em>" moment, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized how frequently I dwell on things or can't let stuff go. I relive my past all the time. That moment changed everything. In the future, when I'm upset, I won't dwell on it. I will simply look forward, put one foot in front of the other and move on. <br /><br /></div>
<div>You impact my life every day in so many ways. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Karen</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-01-29T10:01:00Z
The Devastation of Divorce
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Devastation-of-Divorce/834526278894951012.html
2020-01-28T10:01:00Z
2020-01-28T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />My first love is baseball. When I married my 2nd love (but first wife), our first child was our son. By the time he could stand, I was teaching him to swing a plastic bat...sometimes indoors, which was not exactly to the delight of his mother. When he turned 5, he was old enough to play on a T-ball team and soon I found myself coaching his teams. My first love was rekindled.<br /><br /></div>
<div>By the time he was about 10, I started noticing my team roster, where the parents would provide emergency contact info, would have the mom and the dad at different addresses more and more frequently until it was around half the time. I thought this bore witness to the 50% divorce rate you hear about. Before long, I could identify the kids whose parents were divorced without a roster. Those kids almost always wanted or needed to talk to you more. They often could converse better with adults than their peers, and generally preferred to - which always made me sad.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Another trend I noticed was the kid whose divorced custodial parent was now remarried. These kids (you could tell almost without exception) were not cared about. There was one kid whose parents had him ride his bike to and from practice, along a busy state highway, at age 12. A couple of times I'd ride him home because it was raining and I couldn't let him ride home in the rain, although he fully intended to. (What choice did he have?) At the end of that summer, mom and stepdad decided to move to another state. This kid, who had spent a weekend with our family, actually wanted to stay and live with my family instead of being uprooted again by the "<em>family</em>" who frankly didn't give a crap about him.</div>
<div><br />Parents want to delude themselves kids can handle it and aren't affected, but when basically a stranger who sees your kids a few hours a week for an 8-12 week season can see it, then it's undeniable. Divorce hurts kids and remarriage absolutely devastates them. Thank you for all you do to encourage us to do the right thing. My son is 18 now, and I am still happily married to my "<em>2nd love.</em>"<br /><br /></div>
<div>Brian</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-01-28T10:01:00Z
The Price of Raising Them Right
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Price-of-Raising-Them-Right/-373919454884901388.html
2020-01-27T10:01:00Z
2020-01-27T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I had a six-figure salary prior to having children. I was one of those Generation Xers who thought I'd just add kids to my portfolio, and to my life, but shortly after the first was born, I realized just how wrong I was. I quit my job and never looked back. I lost my family over this decision, but I didn't have much of one to begin with. I was "<em>raised</em>" by a feminist mom, who was either chasing her job or a new man. My father was too busy working and focused what time he had on his replacement family after he divorced my mom. Following suit, my husband and I divorced when our kids were two and three years old, after he couldn't deal with my diagnosis of cancer.<br /><br /></div>
<div>After the divorce, I still didn't go back to work, even though financial support was minimal. I moved to a cheaper town and drove an old car. I used every bit of my savings and lived on less than fifteen thousand dollars a year. But I could stay home with my sons and raise them with love, the way I was never raised. My boys are teenagers now, and they are so grateful that I stayed home with them and we made it work. They've turned into kind, considerate, loving young men. I haven't dated, and they've found solid male role models in their soccer and wrestling coaches at school who are teaching them the "<em>man</em>" things that I can't as a mom. <br /><br /></div>
<div>We might not have everything, but everything we have is priceless. Your wisdom has helped me change my life and raise my young men with morals, ethics, principles and only doing things that Dr. Laura would like!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Much love,<br /><br />Sheri</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-01-27T10:01:00Z
Our Little Secret
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-Little-Secret/-497864154009818289.html
2020-01-24T10:01:00Z
2020-01-24T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />My husband and I have been married for 31 years. My husband is not always easy to live with, nor am I, but I subscribe to your philosophy about the "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">proper care and feeding of husbands</a></em>," and when I focus on it and him, his best side always shines through. A few months ago, he sent me flowers (there was no occasion) with the note "<em>I love you because you are who you are!</em>" Just today, he sent me flowers again (also not a special occasion), and his note said "<em>Come rain or come shine, I love you today as much as when we first met.</em>"</div>
<div><br />I posted a photo of the flowers on Facebook and tagged him, so all his friends would see it. In my caption I said that the flowers were "<em>a surprise from my adoring and adorable husband.</em>" Shortly thereafter, one of my Facebook friends, an older and long-married gentleman, posted in reply "<em>You have to acknowledge your queen!</em>" I just smiled a very big smile.</div>
<div><br />I cannot thank you enough for the boost your philosophy gives to my marriage every time I need it. My husband has no idea I listen to you or that I'm following your guidance. Let's keep it our little secret!</div>
<div><br />Thank you!</div>
<div><br />Gabrielle</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-01-24T10:01:00Z
I'm a Lucky Lady
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-a-Lucky-Lady/215113661090155758.html
2020-01-23T10:01:00Z
2020-01-23T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</div>
<div><br />I've often heard you talk about REAL MEN and how they are a dying breed.</div>
<div><br />Honestly, I agree with you... but how lucky am I that I DID marry a real man! My husband is a former Marine who served his country willingly. He is now a coal miner, who works long hours to support me and our young son so I can stay at home and care for him. He is an amazing father, a wonderful husband, and the true rock of our family. When he walks in a room, he has a presence about him that is assertive, yet kind. He stands up for what's right, and all the while treats me like a princess. I feel very blessed to have him in my life, and your show has helped me appreciate the rarity of such qualities.</div>
<div><br />Thank you for letting me brag about my husband a little bit and thank you for praising real men in a society that so often wants to tear them down.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Sincerely,<br /><br /></div>
<div>Julia</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br />
Staff
2020-01-23T10:01:00Z
One In a Million
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/One-In-a-Million/-833490674521677775.html
2020-01-22T10:01:00Z
2020-01-22T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I was one of the lucky ones when it came to having parents. My father is the best person I have ever known. He is a World War II veteran, so he is one of the "<em>greatest generation</em>," and he lives up to that name.</div>
<div><br />I've never heard him raise his voice or complain or say a curse word - ever! He took care of my bedridden mother for 10 years, including keeping her hair a dark color (as she liked) until the end. He did everything for her. He put on her makeup and jewelry when they left the house. He even sewed Velcro up the back of her clothes. They sat in their recliners together every day. She passed away back in 2005. He's now 95 years old. He's an artist who does crafts, stays busy, and says he doesn't like doing "<em>nothing</em>." He even remarried nine years ago! </div>
<div><br />He was and is here for me, and I will be here for him, always. My Dad is one in a million and I know it. I only wish others had the opportunity to have a loving family like I have had. It makes all the difference in the world.</div>
<div><br />Brie</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-01-22T10:01:00Z
The Best Advice Ever
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Best-Advice-Ever/-103412224039817199.html
2020-01-21T10:01:00Z
2020-01-21T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div><br />A few months ago, I spoke to you about my sick daughter. I told you that she had only a few months or a year left to live. I didn't know how to hide my emotions of sadness from her, nor how to be a good mother while guiding her through this process. Dr. Laura, you said that physical touch would be the key in supporting my daughter. I did that, and I was able to be fully present during that time.<br /><br />Sadly, my daughter passed away right before Christmas. I want you to know that you gave me the best advice ever, and I thank you for getting me through this terrible time.<br /><br />Rachel</div>
</div>
</div>
<br />
Staff
2020-01-21T10:01:00Z
It Was My Destiny
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Was-My-Destiny/-417157987650295150.html
2020-01-20T10:01:00Z
2020-01-20T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div><br />Today, my husband and I celebrate 20 years of marriage. When we were expecting our first child, I was adamant that I was going to go back to work. I had worked too hard for my degree to stay at home. He didn't agree with my choice, but he knew it was something I had to work out for myself. As soon as my son was placed in my arms, however, I knew that being his mommy was what I was destined to do. So my husband went about making sacrifices and working hard so that I could be the stay-at-home mommy that now we BOTH wanted me to be. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Lately, I've struggled with the lack of time to have romantic nights out, but I heard you say to a caller with a similar issue to "<em>go into HIS world, and he would eventually surprise her with the romantic dates that she liked.</em>" So I helped my husband paint one floor of our house. While I ended up sore and tired, I also had a lot of time with my husband. We talked about lots of things that we would have if were on a date. If I hadn't heard your advice to that caller, I don't know that I would have helped him as much and I would have missed out on so much time and conversation with him. Thank you. You've helped me be the girlfriend my husband needs and the mom my kids need.</div>
<div><br />Amber</div>
</div>
<br />
Staff
2020-01-20T10:01:00Z
Putting a Stop to Bad Habits
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Putting-a-Stop-to-Bad-Habits/-35517178598454752.html
2020-01-17T10:01:00Z
2020-01-17T10:01:00Z
<div><br />I'm writing to thank you for helping me change my perspective on being a good wife. One of my friends posted on Facebook how her husband is such a baby when he's sick. Other women chimed in to say how pathetic their husbands are also. One stated how she simply ignores her husband; after all it's his fault because he didn't rest. (Maybe that's because he's working hard to provide for his family). This made me so sad for the men of these women. It's bad enough for them to complain to each other, but on a public forum it's disgusting.<br /><br /></div>
<div>My husband recently pointed out how much it hurts him when I say anything negative about him in front of other people. This is an awful habit I am determined to completely stop. He reminded me he just wants to feel respected and (in his words) wants me to think he's "<em>cool.</em>" He also reminded me that I listen to you, Dr. Laura, and really have no excuses for my behavior. After all, you've taught me better than that! This year, I've started off on the right foot - I am fully committed to being my husband's girlfriend.<br /> <br />Paige</div>
<br />
Staff
2020-01-17T10:01:00Z
You Only Get One Chance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Only-Get-One-Chance/900635043302590211.html
2020-01-16T10:01:00Z
2020-01-16T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p><br />I am embarrassed to say my son was 2 1/2 yrs old when I finally saw the light and quit my corporate job to stay home and raise him. I was scared of walking away from a good job and, in reality, we would be cutting our family income completely in half.</p>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>When I walked in with my resignation letter, my then supervisor flipped out, telling me "<em>it must be so nice your husband can take care of you. I can't imagine how that's possible since I know my husband makes more than yours and there's no way we could live on just his income.</em>"<br /><br /></div>
<div>As she oozed with envy and a strange kind of jealousy, I thought to myself, "<em>Well... I won't drive a fancy car like you, nor go to Hawaii every year, or get to go shopping for fancy clothes... but this is my choice, and my life, and I choose my son</em>." Honestly, her anger was the best thing for me, as it showed me how bitter I would feel 18 years later if my children were raised by someone else in the way hers had been.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I learned to trust my husband and God in new ways. Sure, we have had to make choices, but I do not feel like I have really <em>'suffered</em>' for anything... By removing myself from the rat-race, I no longer need to dress or look like a rat! My son is now almost 5 and my daughter is 1 1/2 and I have been home with them exploring and learning every day - and not once have I felt '<em>bored</em>'.<br /><br /></div>
<div>My children will hopefully know they are the most important things in my life. My kids give me strength and they mean everything to me. We really do only get one chance... I have no regrets.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Kelly</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-01-16T10:01:00Z
Precious Memories
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Precious-Memories/456209080894848464.html
2020-01-15T10:01:00Z
2020-01-15T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p> </p>
<div>
<div>
<div>The topic of working mothers and day care comes up a lot on your show, and I've finally decided to throw in my two cents. I'm not a mother yet, but I still have one, and all my childhood memories of her.<br /><br /></div>
<div>My father worked a low-paying job that barely brought in enough money for us to live on. Every month was a struggle to pay the bills and to keep my brother and me fed and clothed. For a brief time, we were even on food stamps. But you know what? That's not what comes to mind when I think of my childhood.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I remember coming home from school to find Mom had cut up apples and carrots for our snack. I remember rainy days where she would help us set up blanket tents in the living room and play our favorite music. I remember her taking the time to homeschool me, and my grades improved drastically because of her efforts. I remember her once trying to take on a part-time job, but after I became sick at school and she was unable to come pick me up, she put in her two weeks' notice.<br /><br /></div>
<div>No, we didn't live in luxury, and we didn't have a lot of financial advantages. When Mom was working part-time, we had a little extra money to spend, but it wasn't the same as knowing she would be there whenever we needed her. My most precious memories aren't of a babysitter or day care.... they're of Mom.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Erica</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-01-15T10:01:00Z
Working Together
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Working-Together/647399231015087604.html
2020-01-14T10:01:00Z
2020-01-14T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p><br />My husband and I opened a restaurant five years ago. This has always been my husband's dream, and when the opportunity arose, we went all in. My husband is Executive Chef. We follow his menus and kitchen mission every day. There are no arguments, rules are followed, and the kitchen is safe, clean and fun. I am also a Cordon Bleu-trained chef, but his 30 years of restaurant experience drive the business. What he says goes. If I disagree, we discuss and adjust. My ideas are never ignored; he uses the ones that fit.</p>
<div>
<div>I am the front of house magician. I take his rules and regulations and make sure our staff adheres to them. I make the job fun. I'm also the liaison between the front of house and the back. I never undermine him, and we are a drama-free team. I'm also my husband's girlfriend. Our kids are grown, but we employ high school students part-time who leave us knowing they have the skills to be successful and how to treat other people with respect. We are that silly couple you often talk about. We listen to you often and have taken your wisdom and made it work for our family. When the kids were younger, one of us was always there. They always had love and rules, and they've grown up as strong, moral, well-rounded young adults. Thank you for all the time you give to us to make our lives better. We look to you to entertain and guide us.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Christina</div>
</div>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-01-14T10:01:00Z
Making the Effort
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-the-Effort/-453549766122843699.html
2020-01-13T10:01:00Z
2020-01-13T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p> </p>
<div>I was doing some errands the other day, and your voice popped into my head and said, "<em>What can YOU do to make sure your husband is happy he's married to YOU?</em>" I was driving past a coffee shop, so I made a quick detour and grabbed him a cappuccino, just the way he likes it. I ran up to his office with it, and as I was walking up the stairs, he was walking DOWN the same staircase. His eyes lit up when he saw me with the coffee. "<em>That's really sweet</em>," he said, and my heart did a little flutter. <br /><br /></div>
<div>You are so right, Dr. Laura. It doesn't take much, and it doesn't take long. I took twenty minutes out of my day to make my man feel good, and I felt wonderful too. Thank you for being that voice in my head, and for reminding me to do those simple little things. I know my husband is happy he's married to me, and that makes me happy too!</div>
<div>With much love,<br /><br />Natasha (a recovered feminist)</div>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-01-13T10:01:00Z
The Key to Happiness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Key-to-Happiness/570031334464944361.html
2020-01-10T10:01:00Z
2020-01-10T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p><br />Two weeks before Christmas, our family dog breached our electric fence boundaries and disappeared. Our three daughters were hysterical. As daylight faded and temperatures dropped, we were consumed with worry. Desperate to find him, I posted a "<em>Help - Lost Dog</em>" post on a few neighborhood Facebook pages.</p>
<div>
<div></div>
<div>I was shocked how quickly and readily so many community members dropped everything at the busiest time of year to come help us search. People called, searched and reposted my lost dog link - everything anyone could do to lend a hand. And I don't mean just one or two people - we had 50-100 individuals! It was a full-on search party. I'd never seen such overwhelming kindness from complete strangers.<br /><br /></div>
<div>We found our dog Buddy and I felt a spark of passion and gratitude, which led me to create a new group designed to allow people to post and respond in an "<em>aid or assist</em>" fashion. Anyone in our area can post any need big or small, from borrowing tools to needing help with the rent. As a result of this new online forum I started, at least two families got gifts for their kids this Christmas, one family has a new bed for their son, and an elderly parent is now getting two friendly social "<em>stop-bys</em>" per day. I feel a new sense of purpose and direction. And so much instant happiness and fulfillment was the result of such a simple effort. So, to anyone feeling depressed or lost, I urge you to give back! It really is a key to happiness.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Wanda</div>
</div>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-01-10T10:01:00Z
Dr. Laura is Always In Charge!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dr.-Laura-is-Always-In-Charge!/-28535168450647394.html
2020-01-09T10:01:00Z
2020-01-09T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p> </p>
<div>
<div>I often listen to your show when running errands with my four-year-old. Yesterday afternoon as we were riding around, she said "<em>Dr. Laura is always in charge!</em>"<br /><br /></div>
<div>I giggled and responded "<em>Oh, yeah? WHY do you think she's always in charge?</em>"<br />Without missing a beat, she answered: "<em>Because she always does the right thing, Mommy!</em>"</div>
<div><br />It made me laugh and thought you and your listeners might get a kick out of it too.<br />Gotta teach 'em young!</div>
<div><br />Carrie</div>
</div>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-01-09T10:01:00Z
The Importance of Healing Together
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-of-Healing-Together/-262125708807508611.html
2020-01-08T10:01:00Z
2020-01-08T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p> </p>
<div>
<div>Twelve years ago, you changed my family's life. My husband and I married young and didn't know each other well (which we now know is important!). A year later, I gave birth to our first son at home, but that event was riddled with trauma and lifelong injuries for my son and injuries for me. Surgeries, physical therapy, and unknowns about our son's future led to my having anxiety attacks as I was completely overwhelmed. This led to misunderstandings and arguments with my husband. I started forgetting about being a wife, since I was so focused on being a mother to my special needs baby. This went on for a full year.<br /><br />We knew something had to change, and that's when I snagged a copy of <em>"<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620/ref=sr_1_1?hvadid=77859220821049&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&hvqmt=e&keywords=the+proper+care+and+feeding+of+husbands&qid=1578073368&sr=8-1" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husband</a></em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620/ref=sr_1_1?hvadid=77859220821049&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&hvqmt=e&keywords=the+proper+care+and+feeding+of+husbands&qid=1578073368&sr=8-1" target="_blank">s</a>" from my mother's bookshelf. I had wondered if a lot of the problem was me, and I knew you'd have the truth on those pages. And you changed everything. You helped me understand where I was going wrong and how to realign my priorities. In doing so, my family came back together, and we created peace and understanding among us. My husband and I healed<em> together</em>, instead of hurting apart. I was amazed at how much I had to do with this and how much was "<em>in my court</em>" to change. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Your wise words helped make us the couple and family we are now.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Mary</div>
</div>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-01-08T10:01:00Z
Working Through Procrastination
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Working-Through-Procrastination/-719391380529139279.html
2020-01-07T10:01:00Z
2020-01-07T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p> </p>
<div>
<div>Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br /></div>
<div>I've been a listener for over 25 years, and recently, I heard you talk about procrastination. It really hit home for me. I get to work very early to get a good start, but then I start doing the things I "<em>like</em>." They're all work-related, but they're easy and fun to do. I save the really difficult things for "<em>later</em>." I goof around on my iPad, I listen to voicemails, I check the news, and then by the time mid-afternoon rolls around, I'm too exhausted to do the important things I need to get done. <br /><br />Your ten minutes of tips about procrastination helped me come up with a good strategy for pushing through the difficult stuff! I now shut off my phone, my iPad, my chatting apps and my email in the MORNING until I get through the tough stuff. Then I can do the things I "<em>like</em>" in the afternoon, knowing all the important things are already done.<br /><br />Alicia</div>
</div>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-01-07T10:01:00Z
Cool Change
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cool-Change/394210409858564501.html
2020-01-06T10:01:00Z
2020-01-06T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p><br />
<div>A short time ago, the amazing Carson Smith played a song called "<em>Cool Chang</em>e" by The Little River Band. It really spoke to me, as I am mentally preparing for a big change in my family. My husband and I are preparing to "<em>launch</em>" our 18-year-old daughter, as she has just gotten accepted to a competitive applied mathematics program at a fabulous university. <br /><br /></div>
<div>When "<em>Cool Change</em>" came on the air, it literally brought me to tears. It feels like yesterday when she was learning to walk and talk! Next fall, she'll move into her college dorm 300 miles away. I know in my heart we have raised a confident, independent, smart and resourceful woman. She is in no way, shape or form a "<em>snowflake</em>." With your words always in our minds, my husband and I have shown her what a solid relationship looks like, have guided her toward making good decisions, being a hard worker and managing money. Most importantly, we've taught her the positive consequences of being a kind and generous person.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Emotionally, I'm not ready to let her go, but the rational side of me knows she is ready, so I must be. By fall, she will confidently walk out the door and I will be ready (well.... almost). <br /><br /></div>
<div>Colleen</div>
</p>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-01-06T10:01:00Z
Always Your Babies
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Always-Your-Babies/229948354427665231.html
2020-01-03T10:01:00Z
2020-01-03T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p><br />My 22-year-old son asked me what I wanted for Christmas, and I told him, "<em>Something from your heart</em>." He groaned, which wasn't unexpected, but the gift he came up with was amazing.</p>
<div>Of all the things he has dragged around in his travels, he still has his baby blanket and it has survived. So, he cut off a corner of it, cut a square hole in the middle, and used it to matte a picture of himself and his younger brother when they were approximately 10 and about 8 months respectively. He mounted it, framed it, and added a caption: "<em>We are always your babies.</em>"<br /><br /></div>
<div>I had to leave the room and cry for a moment, and ponder just who this young man is, and what he did with my son...<br /><br /></div>
<div>Ann</div>
<br />
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-01-03T10:01:00Z
Being A Real Parent
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-A-Real-Parent/-815843865321518374.html
2020-01-02T10:01:00Z
2020-01-02T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p><br />Many people want to HAVE children, but do not want to BE parents. HAVING children is like having a home or a job: children become accessories to our lives, picture-perfect cuties who are trotted out for everyone's admiration. When people HAVE children, they are embarrassed when the children misbehave, don't get good grades, or are not good at sports. People who HAVE children view their children as a reflection of themselves and their perfection or imperfection.</p>
<div>
<div>BEING a parent requires you turn your entire life inside and out. Your first thought is of your child, not yourself or how they make you look. BEING a parent means you look to your child's interest before your own; you allow a child to pursue his interests, even if you don't care for them yourself. It means your focus is always on the long term goal, not the short term reward. BEING a parent requires the kind of unselfishness that can only come in living FOR someone else.</div>
<div><br />Come to think of it, the same can be said for HAVING a spouse vs. BEING a spouse.</div>
<div><br />Francoise</div>
</div>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2020-01-02T10:01:00Z
Little Things Are Appreciated
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Little-Things-Are-Appreciated/-558514392736403232.html
2019-12-18T10:01:00Z
2019-12-18T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p> </p>
<div>
<div>I'm 26 and have been married since I was 21. Having been raised in a home where my parents listened to you every day, I grew up much more mature than my peers. I did get married very young but feel the decision I made was an educated one. Having a good example from my parents and from your show of how a healthy relationship should work has helped in the success of my marriage.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Generosity plays a huge role in how smoothly a marriage runs and it isn't how much money is spent on one person or another. Something as little as a thank you to your spouse for doing something can show that person how appreciated they are. I've found it's the little everyday things that may not seem like much but are the most important. My husband and I are expecting our first baby in March and I appreciate how much generosity he has shown me these past months. So I would say to every married couple: show your spouse what you feel and you'd be surprised at what you might get back. Thanks Dr. Laura for all your great advice and guidance!!<br /><br /></div>
<div>From the future "<em>my kid's mom</em>"<br /><br /></div>
<div>Jahna</div>
</div>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-12-18T10:01:00Z
Peace Of Mind
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Peace-Of-Mind/-500164650464965026.html
2019-12-17T09:59:00Z
2019-12-17T09:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p><br />My sister had a baby 3 weeks before I had my baby. She went back to work full-time when her baby was 3 months old. My mom takes care of the child until my sister comes home at 6. She also cooks and cleans for her. When I was pregnant, my mom said she was also going to care of my baby so I could work. She said I had to work. I finally confronted her when my baby was about 7 months and told her, I wasn't going back to work. She didn't even want to listen to me. Everyone around me thinks I'm not doing the right thing and my parents should raise my baby. But it's not happening.</p>
<div>
<div>So, all I say to myself when others try to put me down is, I'm his mom and I have complete peace of mind. I wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world. I have a master's degree and consider myself smarter than women who choose to spend their day with strangers.<br /><br /></div>
<div>If I feel insecure, all I have to do is kiss my son, hug him harder, and play with him more. I kiss his little baby toes and watch his smile. I take him to the park with our dog, sing to him, and breastfeed him. Life couldn't be more blessed for me.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I also make an effort to feel good by wearing nice clothes -- even short heels. I love my life and most people eventually say I'm doing the right thing, but really, I owe it all to you for your support<br /><br /></div>
<div>Gabriela</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-12-17T09:59:00Z
My 'Aha' Moment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Aha-Moment/372353037157224410.html
2019-12-13T10:01:00Z
2019-12-13T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p><br />I heard you say once that sometimes women choose bad guys because they could not fix their parents, so they choose a guy who they can try to fix. That was an "<em>aha</em>" moment for me. I used to do anything for male attention. But then I decided to look for someone who would treat me kindly and I found him!</p>
<div>
<div>At first, I thought he liked me too much. I didn't have to work hard at all for him. He just loved me for me. I knew he was a good man. After we got married, I couldn't believe how he was still kind to me - the honeymoon wasn't over! Even though he was kind, he did put his foot down occasionally to stand for his values. It wasn't how my parents did thing, but it helped me respect him. I couldn't manipulate him or walk all over him like I had done in my past. <br /><br /></div>
<div>We've been married ten years and have six kids. We know it's our job to teach them about being kind. I've found great joy in following your advice.</div>
<div><br /><br />Jerri</div>
</div>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-12-13T10:01:00Z
Being The Girlfriend I Once Was
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-The-Girlfriend-I-Once-Was/267137334759034752.html
2019-12-12T10:01:00Z
2019-12-12T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p> </p>
<div>My husband and I have been married almost 20 years, and most of that time I have treated him like a boyfriend. However, recently, I just got lazy when it came to "<em>feeding</em>" him. I just ignored his needs and withdrew. But when he said the words "<em>I don't get to touch you anymore</em>," I got really sad. I didn't say anything at that moment.<br /><br /></div>
<div>The next day, I was listening to you and heard a few callers who were losing their marriages because of the same thing I was doing. I had a complete wake-up call from listening and as soon as he got home that evening, I kissed him and turned on the charm. We were having fun just hanging out when he said, "<em>why are you being so nice?</em>" I explained everything (even that you had inspired me to not deprive him of my attention), and I apologized. I don't know what was going on with me, because since I have turned "<em>it</em>" back on, I've been having a lot of fun! Why was I depriving myself of this time with him? Thank you for being that voice of reason when I start to go off the right path. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Jacquelyn</div>
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-12-12T10:01:00Z
Money, Money, Money...MONEY
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Money,-Money,-Money...MONEY/288152764770438043.html
2019-12-11T10:01:00Z
2019-12-11T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p><br />After hearing you say to a caller recently that on the long list of things her husband wanted from her, bringing money home was at the bottom of that list, I asked my husband where "<em>bringing in money</em>" fell on HIS list of the things he wanted from me as his wife. He actually cocked his head to the side like a mixed-up puppy and say "<em>Oh, that's WAY down on the list. I really don't need you to bring home money at all.</em>"</p>
<div>I DO bring home money, although I work for myself and I work from home. Sometimes, I even make more than he does. Our children are grown and out, so he doesn't need me home any more for the kids. At first, I was a bit shocked, but when he said he would make more money if we needed it as long as I was home for him, it was heartwarming to know. It's the other stuff that really counts. We are always kind to each other and tell everyone else that that's the key to our long-lasting marriage. Thanks for teaching me to wake up in the morning and ask myself what I can do to make my man happy that he's married to ME!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Harriet</div>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-12-11T10:01:00Z
Figuring It Out,Together
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Figuring-It-Out,Together/-983738371100952579.html
2019-12-10T10:01:00Z
2019-12-10T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p>
<div><br />My husband and I have been married for 42 years. We both came from homes with difficult marriages and the only thing we knew was what we DIDN'T want. Our mantra was that we'll figure it out.<br /><br /></div>
<div>He came home from work one day and saw me teary-eyed on the phone. His mother was calling each day to ask what I was making him for dinner! I didn't complain to him - I just accepted that that's the way she was. He took the phone from me and heard his mom berating me over the number of days since his last salad and very calmly announced that HE was on the phone and she was never to talk to me that way ever again.<br /><br /></div>
<div>We had two kids and I stayed home to raise them while he focused on his career to provide for us. When our daughter was in middle school, we had a conference at school to address her needs for acceleration and enrichment. The principal told us that HE was the education expert and that we didn't understand. My husband leaned across the desk and told him "<em>YOU don't understand that I'M the expert on my daughter!</em>" On the way out of the office, he told me to take the kids out of public school.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Our kids are grown now and are self-sufficient adults with spouses and kids of their own. My husband just retired, and like we have in other phases of our lives, we'll figure out this next chapter too. If you choose wisely, even as young as I did, you can find a real man. I know I've got one. I love listening to you, and I try each day to do the right thing.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Mary</div>
</p>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-12-10T10:01:00Z
The Feeling of Motherhood
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Feeling-of-Motherhood/-355772401362166607.html
2019-12-09T10:01:00Z
2019-12-09T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p> </p>
<div><br />I wanted to share with you a special moment that happened last night when I started reading your new book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Love-Life-Dr-Laura-Schlessinger/dp/1630061255" target="_blank">Love & Life</a>. I'm 21 weeks pregnant at 35 years old and married to my "<em>boyfriend</em>" for seven years. This will be our first baby after having had three miscarriages.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Although I felt a few possibly/maybe "<em>flutters</em>" the last day or so, it wasn't until last night when I settled in and started reading your book that I felt the first UNMISTAKABLE movement inside of me! I was about ten pages in, and it was so startling (in a good way), that I started to tear up. </div>
<div><br />I've been an avid listener for the last three years, and I credit you with the great marriage that I have. I am enjoying Love & Life and look forward to reading more and hopefully feeling more kicks very soon!</div>
<div><br />Vanessa</div>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-12-09T10:01:00Z
Southern Accents Can be Tricky!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Southern-Accents-Can-be-Tricky!/258705202269957619.html
2019-12-06T10:01:00Z
2019-12-06T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p><br />When our children were small, we were driving six hours from Maryland to upstate New York. At the time, my son was in the first grade and was really into the "<em>rhyming</em>" game. I would say "<em>cat</em>," and he would say "<em>hat</em>" - you get the picture. After about 30 minutes, I ran out of rhyming words.</p>
<div>As we passed a cornfield, I said "<em>corn</em>," thinking that my son would say "<em>horn.</em>" To our surprise, he yelled "<em>porn!</em>" My husband said to him, "<em>what kind of word is that?</em>" And he said, "<em>Oh mommy uses that word all the time!</em>" Of course I had to ask: "<em>WHEN does Mommy use that word?</em>" And my son said, well, you know, when it's raining - it's "<em>por-un</em>."</div>
<div>My southern accent still gets me in trouble to this day! Hope I get to hear you laugh when you read this!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Jody</div>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-12-06T10:01:00Z
Little Things Add Up To Big Rewards
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Little-Things-Add-Up-To-Big-Rewards/-108885177275672131.html
2019-12-05T10:01:00Z
2019-12-05T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p> </p>
<div><br />My husband and I were married over 19 years ago, and we have two teenagers. We've stayed connected by the "<em>little things</em>." I asked my husband about a year after we got married when he knew I was the right person for him. His answer really shocked me. He said it was when I put his straw in his glass on our second date. He knew from that little gesture what kind of a person I was. While I was a bit surprised, I completely understood what he meant.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Since then, when we eat out and straws are left on the table for us to put in our drinks, I still put his straw in his glass. The little things we do for each other every day that show we still care about each other are what I believe makes our marriage happy. He is not only the husband of my dreams, but also the most involved and caring father I've ever seen If our boys turn out anything like their father, they'll become men with character and will make fine husbands and fathers one day. </div>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-12-05T10:01:00Z
Breaking The Cycle
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Breaking-The-Cycle/596962721263002664.html
2019-12-04T18:59:00Z
2019-12-04T18:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p><br />I grew up without ever knowing or living with my father. As an adult, I found out I was illegitimate. My mother always told me that my father died before I was born, but when I needed his death certificate, she was forced to tell me that he was married to another woman when I was conceived. He is dead now, but I've never met anyone from his family, and I don't know if I have half-siblings or not.</p>
<div>
<div>I grew up with my mother and grandmother (wasn't much better than my mother). My mother was an alcoholic who told me that I was a financial burden and that she wished she had put me in a children's home. She thought nothing of beating me, cursing me out, and throwing things at me. Once, she even broke a glass plate over my head because I had my elbow on the dinner table! <br /><br /></div>
<div>I managed to break the cycle and I have had a good life as an adult. I've learned from you that I have control over my current life, even if I didn't have any in the past. I made sure that my children know that I love them, and I brought them up with love, nurturing, kindness and truth. My oldest is a doctor and my youngest is a computer programming analyst. Maybe you can't always see or know personally the people you've helped, but we're out here in the world being happier due to your guidance. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Sandy</div>
</div>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-12-04T18:59:00Z
Being a Better Person, Despite My Shortcomings
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-a-Better-Person,-Despite-My-Shortcomings/80247913440470779.html
2019-12-03T18:59:00Z
2019-12-03T18:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p><br />I'm writing to echo your thoughts on what a "<em>disease</em>" is and is not. After being very active, healthy and in the prime of my life, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at age 31. So, it more than angers me when people say drug addiction and alcoholism are diseases. </p>
<div>
<div>
<div>If you stop purchasing and/or using drugs or drink, your "<em>disease</em>" will magically go away. If you think that's hard, try battling the debilitating physical, mental and social effects of MS every second of the day. I don't have the option of NOT doing something to make my MS magically go away, because it is a real and incurable disease. Fortunately, I now consider my MS a blessing, because it's made me a better person. I truly cherish every little thing and see the world from a different perspective.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Thank you so much for your words of wisdom, telling people what they need to hear. We listeners certainly appreciate it if the callers don't!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Jerome</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-12-03T18:59:00Z
The Best Decision I've Made
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Best-Decision-Ive-Made/-570899371650530108.html
2019-12-02T18:59:00Z
2019-12-02T18:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p> </p>
<div>
<div>Today I quit my nanny position. I'm mature, well-educated, and love children...unlike the parents I have worked for. I've been in a slow boil for the last few years over the complete emotional disconnect parents have with their children and the lack of respect they show me for what I do.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Couples I've seen treat their kids like an inconvenience, spend little time with them, require me to engage with them, discipline them, bathe them, read to them, take them on outings - the list goes on. They make it clear they don't want to be bothered with the kids after a long day at work. This is sadly, not unusual. The neglect just has a different shape with each family. But the message is loud and clear - don't bother us when we get home from work.<br /><br /></div>
<div>The parents show love through buying them "<em>stuff.</em>" These kids have every electronic device imaginable, and they appreciate none of it. They are entitled, spoiled and disrespectful. I enforced a rule - "<em>no devices until after dinner,</em>" and for 30 minutes, these kids screamed and yelled and finally went to their parents demanding devices DURING dinner and afterward until bedtime. The parents allowed it, and that's when I quit.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Since I had nothing to lose, I asked the parents "<em>why did you even HAVE children?</em>" The husband looked at the wife blankly, and she said, "<em>I always wanted to be a mother.</em>" I burst out laughing, saying "<em>you're doing a lousy job of it. If I were you, I'd save up for bail money instead of college for your kids, because unless you quit your job and be a real mommy and daddy to them, they're headed for trouble.</em>" On that note, I left. I've never made a better decision in my life.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Lara</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-12-02T18:59:00Z
The Acrobat and the Scientist
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Acrobat-and-the-Scientist/-932531531751907553.html
2019-11-27T18:59:00Z
2019-11-27T18:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p> </p>
<div>I've been a fan for 15 years or so, and I always miss the live Corny Joke Day broadcast. So, I'm emailing you my joke - it's a bit long, but well worth it:<br /><br /></div>
<blockquote>
<div><em>There once was a world-famous circus trapeze acrobat who sought to perfect the quadruple- spinning somersault. He tried and tried but couldn't succeed. He determined that there was only one solution: The person catching him on the opposite trapeze had to be an exact clone.</em><br /><br /></div>
<div><em>The acrobat connected with an underground mad scientist and made it happen. He produced an exact clone, trained him as an acrobat and wowed millions with the never-before seen stunt. As the months passed, he discovered a problem with the clone. During performances, the clone spouted very loud profanities. The problem was increasing to the point that audiences were thinning due to the foul language. The acrobat decided that the clone had to go. One day he rigged the trapeze causing the clone to fall to his death.</em><br /><br /></div>
<div><em>A few days after, the acrobat found himself under arrest in a police interrogation room. The acrobat emphatically pled his case with police, claiming that it wasn't murder because the clone wasn't actually a person. The police detective told him he wasn't being charged with murder. "Why am I in jail then?" asked the acrobat.</em><br /><br /></div>
<div><em>The detective said...." For making an<strong> obscene clone fall</strong>."</em><br /><br /></div>
</blockquote>
<div>Matt</div>
<p> </p>
<div>
<div>
<div></div>
</div>
</div>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-11-27T18:59:00Z
Learning Young
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-Young/844010870052992174.html
2019-11-26T18:59:00Z
2019-11-26T18:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p> </p>
<div><br />Today, my daughter, who is seven years old, mentioned "<em>twerking.</em>" I told her that was a dance girls do to tell the boys that anyone can be their boyfriend. I also told her "<em>I bet you know a few boys who you do NOT want thinking they can be your boyfriend!</em>"<br /><br /></div>
<div>That's when my nine-year-old son piped up and said "<em>Boys don't care about anything they don't have to work for.</em>" Someone in the back seat has been listening!!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Arnelle</div>
<p> </p>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-11-26T18:59:00Z
Precious Memories
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Precious-Memories/-830672180707411329.html
2019-11-25T20:35:00Z
2019-11-25T20:35:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p> </p>
<div><br />The topic of working mothers and day care comes up a lot on your show, and I've finally decided to throw in my two cents. I'm not a mother yet, but I still have one, and all my childhood memories of her.<br /><br /></div>
<div>My father worked a low-paying job that barely brought in enough money for us to live on. Every month was a struggle to pay the bills and to keep my brother and me fed and clothed. For a brief time, we were even on food stamps. But you know what? That's not what comes to mind when I think of my childhood.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I remember coming home from school to find Mom had cut up apples and carrots for our snack. I remember rainy days where she would help us set up blanket tents in the living room and play our favorite music. I remember her taking the time to homeschool me, and my grades improved drastically because of her efforts. I remember her once trying to take on a part-time job, but after I became sick at school and she was unable to come pick me up, she put in her two weeks' notice.<br /><br /></div>
<div>No, we didn't live in luxury, and we didn't have a lot of financial advantages. When Mom was working part-time, we had a little extra money to spend, but it wasn't the same as knowing she would be there whenever we needed her. My most precious memories aren't of a baby sitter or day care.... they're of Mom.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Erica</div>
<p> </p>
<div>
<div>
<div></div>
</div>
</div>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-11-25T20:35:00Z
Ladies, Praise Your Husbands!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ladies,-Praise-Your-Husbands!/-866064547982236176.html
2019-11-22T18:59:00Z
2019-11-22T18:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p> </p>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>I started to listen to your show a few months ago.<br /><br /></div>
<div>My husband and I have been going through a "<em>rough patch</em>". I was listening to you one day and EVERYTHING clicked! You were talking to a wife who was cranky about her husband doing things "<em>wrong</em>" (i.e., not <em><strong>her</strong></em> way) around the house. I am the same way: it MUST be done MY way.<br /><br /></div>
<div>The first night after hearing that call, when my hubby loaded the dishwasher, I simply said, "<em>Thanks Babe!</em>" and sat down with him to watch the football game. I didn't make a snarky comment on why the counter wasn't wiped off or the crumbs weren't swept up. Instead I spent time with my husband. It was fantastic! My uneducated advice is to let it go, ladies! Praise your husbands; it goes a loooong way! You can ALWAYS sweep tomorrow!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Thanks Dr. Laura!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Tammy</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-11-22T18:59:00Z
Mommy Validation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mommy-Validation/549831570592982179.html
2019-11-21T18:59:00Z
2019-11-21T18:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p> </p>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>This morning I was reminded twice of why my husband and I chose for me to stay at home with our two sons, who are almost 3 years old and 18 months old. While my family is sleeping, a few mornings each week I wake at 5 am to go to the gym down the street to work out. This morning, as I was walking back home at 6:15am, I passed the day care next to the gym and saw a mother getting her sleepy toddler out of her car and take her into the day care. I almost cried. I couldn't imagine having to do that 5 days a week to my two babies and my immediate thought was how lucky I am I don't have to. When I got home, I snuggled into bed with my husband and showed him how much I appreciated all he does so I can stay at home and care for our babies all day.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Later that morning, when my older son got up, he started playing with his toy telephone. Like lots of kids, he uses his favorite toys to express his own thoughts and feelings. This morning, he told my husband and me, "<em>Telephone likes to stay at home with his mommy.</em>" He proceeded to talk about how "<em>telephone</em>" likes to go to the park with mommy, go to the library with mommy, to snuggle with his mommy. I asked him if he likes to do all those things with his mommy too, and he said "<em>yup!</em>" Then he gave me a big hug.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Dr. Laura, these two incidents just validate what I already know: I am doing the absolute right thing for my kids. I have NEVER doubted it and I NEVER will!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Alicia</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-11-21T18:59:00Z
The Best Part of the Day
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Best-Part-of-the-Day/-240102060356463054.html
2019-11-20T18:59:00Z
2019-11-20T18:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p>
<div><br />Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I wanted to give you a "<em>thumbs up</em>" for your suggestion of taking a shower with your husband. I hear some of the women being a little hesitant at this idea, but I can attest to the closeness created by this activity. My husband and I got married eight and a half years ago, and we have showered together on most mornings during these years. It's usually the best 15 - 20 minutes of the day. We talk about our day, he helps me wash my hair, and sometimes we just stand under the warm water and hug - among a few other activities that I won't go into here.<br /><br /></div>
<div>This fall, we purchased an exercise hot-tub to help with my Rheumatoid Arthritis. I was thinking this would help with keeping my joints loose and also losing weight, but it has also helped bring my husband and me closer (if that was possible). We spend about an hour most evenings in the hot tub together, laughing, playing, exercising, undistracted by TV, and enjoying the Minnesota moonlight. It's romantic to spend some quiet time with him looking over the farm fields behind our house, even when the weather is in the teens! He's my boyfriend and my gentleman.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Thanks for all your advice to make marriages stronger!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Jane</div>
</p>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-11-20T18:59:00Z
Please Choose Integrity and Real Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Please-Choose-Integrity-and-Real-Love/-155847532082694849.html
2019-11-19T18:59:00Z
2019-11-19T18:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p><br />If I had put your wise words to use, I would still be married to a wonderful man, living a life of ease with people who valued my presence in their lives. Instead, I am divorced, in debt, and despised by nearly everyone in my family. I had an affair, and while I was having a grand time, my cherished husband was experiencing devastating pain, crushed self-esteem, and all the other effects that come when someone you love and adore betrays you. My husband actually said that being drafted into Vietnam was easier than what I did to him.</p>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div></div>
<div>I hope I can prevent someone else from making the same idiotic, selfish, and disastrous choice I did. The man I thought would be better for me than my husband turned out to be a complete con man. Restoring my integrity and gaining back the trust of those I decimated with my lies is another matter altogether. <br /><br /></div>
<div>So, if any of your listeners are contemplating the betrayal of their marriage vows, know that while your self-esteem will increase because of the extra attention, your betrayed spouse will be destroyed to discover that the marriage bed he thought was special actually meant nothing to you. There is no defense and no justification for your actions, no matter what you think. I'm now spending my time working on repairing the relationships I firebombed. It will take years to build back trust, and in many cases, it will never happen. Please choose integrity and real love. It takes a lot of hard work, but the results of choices such as mine are harder and far more painful. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Andie</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-11-19T18:59:00Z
I Never Stopped Wanting My Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Never-Stopped-Wanting-My-Mother/505969404777481047.html
2019-11-18T18:59:00Z
2019-11-18T18:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p><br />I am 55 and my mother is 85 years old. She was a working mom and was always talking about her great retirement and health benefits. I often heard my father tell her she should stay home with us kids, but she did not do so. We had a nice home and all five children went to private schools, but before we went to school, we went to daycare.</p>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div></div>
<div>I first went to daycare at age three. I remember crying my head off and wanting my mother. That feeling never went away. When we were older, we kids made the dinner, so it was ready when she and my dad came home. My mom was always stressed out and yelling at us. She didn't know any of our friends or what was going on in our lives. Even as a child, I could see she wasn't a nice wife to our dad, and they eventually divorced. Now at 85, she wonders why her kids don't come around. I care about her, but I'm not bonded to her. I've always been respectful to her but essentially, she taught me what NOT to do.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I stayed home with my kids and I still am my husband's girlfriend. I wanted to let other listeners know that children need their mothers, and the effects of being dropped off at day care last well beyond childhood. Thank you, Dr. Laura - you are tough, and you are <br />my hero!</div>
<div><br />Louisa</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-11-18T18:59:00Z
I Would Never Again Cry On Christmas
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Would-Never-Again-Cry-On-Christmas/348069633010489969.html
2019-11-15T18:59:00Z
2019-11-15T18:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p><br />Dr. Laura:</p>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>I know it's a <em>little</em> early for a Christmas story, but I wanted to share this in case it helps someone else this season. When my husband and I were first married, we had to travel five to six hundred miles to visit both families and all the sub-families resulting from our parents' divorces. By the end of Christmas Day, I was usually in tears from the stress and strain. That's when my husband vowed that I would never again cry on Christmas.</div>
<div><br />One year, I was heavily pregnant at Christmas time (our son was born in January), and later that year, my husband put his foot down. We were no longer traveling those long distances. If families wanted to see us on Christmas, they had to come to our house and get along with each other. We didn't hear a lot of complaining about this, although the visits were few and far between. That was okay, because that enabled us to start our OWN traditions that we continue to this day. Our son is now in college, and we look forward to having him home for Christmas and it suits us just fine that it's a small gathering. Obviously, I married a MAN who put the protection and support of HIS family above the wishes of our relatives. I hope others think about doing this as well, so the season isn't full of undue family stress.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Kate</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-11-15T18:59:00Z
You Changed Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Changed-Me/708108788322963183.html
2019-11-14T18:59:00Z
2019-11-14T18:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p> </p>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>Dr. Laura:<br /><br /></div>
<div>I've read almost every one of your books. I can't wait to purchase the few I haven't read (including your newest one Love & Life). It's because of you that I am my kid's mom and my husband's girlfriend.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I was headed in a very different direction when someone handed me the book Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives. It changed my life! When I was feeling sorry for myself and my difficult childhood, I picked up your book Bad Childhood, Good Life. I always keep THAT one by my sofa and read small sections whenever I'm a bit down. I can't thank you enough for what you've done for me and my family. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Janelle<br /><br /></div>
</div>
</div>
<div></div>
</div>
</div>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-11-14T18:59:00Z
Putting My Husband First
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Putting-My-Husband-First/849375005362159241.html
2019-11-13T18:59:00Z
2019-11-13T18:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p> </p>
<div>
<div>
<div>I'm 51 and have been married for 29 years to my high school sweetheart. My parents moved out of state over twenty years ago, yet I always think I should try my best to make vacation plans to visit them a few times a year. They come to us to visit, but usually only once a year.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Lately, my sister-in-law has been planning family vacations with all of us, and it's getting more frequent. My husband only gets 2 weeks' vacation and one of those weeks we spend visiting my parents. Next year, we're planning our own big trip for our anniversary, but my parents are planning another trip at the same time to celebrate by father's 80th birthday. When my husband heard this, he said "<em>No way. We're not doing two big trips in one year</em>" - it's expensive and all his vacation would revolve around my family. He doesn't want to do it.<br /><br /></div>
<div>In the past, I would have tried to talk him into it, but after listening to you, I realized I couldn't put my family before my husband. It's not fair to him and that's not how good relationships work. I had been fretting over how to "<em>let my mom down</em>" when I tell her we can't do HER trip, but I finally "<em>woman-ed up</em>" and wrote her that we already had vacation plans for next year and wouldn't be joining in theirs (I didn't have the complete courage to call her). Although I haven't heard back yet, I'm at peace with my decision. I plan to put my husband first and not feel bad about telling my mom "<em>no</em>." I might have put my marriage in jeopardy if I hadn't heard you in my head steering me in the right direction. Thank you!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Sally</div>
</div>
</div>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-11-13T18:59:00Z
A "Guide" for New Listeners
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Guide-for-New-Listeners/-552405544371617593.html
2019-11-12T21:30:00Z
2019-11-12T21:30:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p><br />I know some listeners have made lists of your quotes before, but I just put together a list of the things that annoy you the most as a “guide” for all the new listeners you’ve picked up! Here goes…. </p>
<p>10. <strong>Psychobabble.</strong> Dr. Laura doesn’t want to hear about your boundary issues or your toxic narcissistic relatives. Just describe the behavior! </p>
<p>9. <strong>Shacking Up. </strong>This is especially annoying if you’ve implied that you’re married or if you referenced “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.” That book is not for you! </p>
<p>8. <strong>Daycare.</strong> Don’t mention that word unless you’re ready to get your head ripped off. </p>
<p>7. <strong>“I Feel Like….”</strong> She doesn’t care about your feelings. It’s actions and values that matter. </p>
<p>6. <strong>Snowflakes. </strong>She will laugh out loud at the absurdity of your twenty-something child who still lives at home and is not acting how you wish they would. </p>
<p>5. <strong>Saying you feel “guilty” when it’s clear you’ve been doing the right thing. </strong></p>
<p>4. <strong>Dropping a bombshell late in the call as you desperately try to get Dr. Laura on your side. </strong></p>
<p>3. <strong>Saying “I tried that already.”</strong> No you didn’t. You did not say those words in that tone. Not even close! </p>
<p>2. S<strong>aying “Even though…” or “I just…” </strong>You are stubbornly resisting her sage advice! Stop thinking and listen. </p>
<p>1. <strong>“I don’t know.”</strong> You don’t know why your husband left you or why your sister is mad at you? That’s just silly, and in a moment, you’ll hear a dial tone, because Dr. Laura has hung up on you! </p>
<p> </p>
<p>With love, </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Leah</p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-11-12T21:30:00Z
Learning Some New Tricks
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-Some-New-Tricks/-65179848948361991.html
2019-11-11T18:59:00Z
2019-11-11T18:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>Dr. Laura:<br /><br /></div>
<div>I am a stay-at-home mom of six. Our marriage has lasted 36 years, but we were some of those "<em>idiots</em>" who married at ages 19 and 20. If any of our kids even thought of doing that, we'd lock them up and throw away the key for at least five years!<br /><br /></div>
<div>My husband is a manly man who works two jobs to take care of our family. When the kids were small, he always said to me that when they were in school, I could get a job. I wasn't a big fan of that idea, as I knew the before and after school hours were crucial for having a parent at home.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Once they were all in school, I said, "<em>maybe I should get a job</em>." My husband immediately said he needed me at home. What changed his attitude? Listening to you all those years our kids were infants and toddlers. Now they're all grown, ranging in age from 25 to 35, and they have turned out to be good, caring adults. <br /><br /></div>
<div>I also bought your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620/ref=asc_df_0060520620/?tag=bingshoppinga-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=&hvpos=&hvnetw=o&hvrand=&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=e&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=&hvtargid=pla-4584138857875204&psc=1" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>," although at first I wondered what I could possibly learn at the age of 56 after all this time being married (although I didn't want things to get stale with just the two of us at home). Well, I learned things in the introduction!! So thank you not only for helping my husband understand the importance of a mom staying home with the kids, but also for helping us freshen up our marriage. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Lee</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-11-11T18:59:00Z
The New Norm
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-New-Norm/263307212444347948.html
2019-11-08T18:59:00Z
2019-11-08T18:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I'm a 35-year-old father of four and have been married for twelve years. Last week, my wife and I were looking at our wedding pictures. Our five-year-old daughter commented on how pretty my wife looked and that I looked cute to her too. Then she got a look as if she was thinking hard. When we asked her what she was thinking, she asked my wife if she was going to get married to somebody else, and that she didn't want that to happen because she loves her daddy!<br /><br /></div>
<div>My wife reassured her that Mom and Dad were always going to be together and asked her why she thought that. She replied that many of her classmates in kindergarten came from divorced parents, or ones who had remarried with kids. It's sad to me that so many children have to endure their parents' bad decisions, mistakes and selfishness. The logic of a five-year-old shows us that this is becoming the new norm. I may be powerless to prevent this from happening to other children, but it reinforces to me the vital importance of providing a safe, secure, loving, supportive, structured, disciplined and fun world for my family. To other dads, I say make sure your kids see that you love and honor your wife, and that your children know your family home will always be a safe place. <br /><br /></div>
<div>John</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-11-08T18:59:00Z
Turn That Frown Upside Down
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Turn-That-Frown-Upside-Down/776556387348484690.html
2019-11-07T18:59:00Z
2019-11-07T18:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I had a stressful week and found myself snapping at my husband of 23 years more than once. By Saturday night, the mood was tense. I thought about how I could repair the damage, when I remembered your suggestion of a couples' bubble bath! <br /><br /></div>
<div>I suggested it to my husband, and he immediately perked up. I ran to the tub, put the bath salts in, lit the candles and got in. Then I waited....and waited. I could still hear the TV in the next room, so I got out, dripping wet, put on my robe, and walked to the living room. I looked at him and said "<em>Get a clue!!</em>" We both started laughing! But here's the important part - it had been so long since I had suggested something like this that he thought I was kidding!</div>
<div><br />Well, we HAD the bubble bath, and afterward, the intimate time spent together changed the whole mood in the house. We're now both smiling! Thanks for the tip, Dr. Laura! Perhaps you should start making bath products to go with your boutique jewelry!</div>
<div><br />Jeannine</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-11-07T18:59:00Z
In the Care of Those Who Don't Love You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/In-the-Care-of-Those-Who-Dont-Love-You/-33681470017787795.html
2019-11-05T18:59:00Z
2019-11-05T18:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />Recently, I took my three kids and a friend of my son's out for his birthday. We had a wonderful day and ended it with a quick meal at an indoor play place. Another mom came in with four kids. I made space at the table for her crew. She put a box of fries and nuggets in front of them for lunch, and when I asked her if all four were hers, she replied "<em>Oh no! Thank goodness! Taking care of them is my JOB!</em>"<br /><br /></div>
<div>As the kids played, she went on to tell me how she enjoyed the younger ones, but the older two she could do without. Every day for two years, she said, the oldest one cries when her mom drops her off. Her interpretation was that the oldest one had the mother wrapped right around her finger. She said the kid was bratty, but she had to take care of her all day.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I felt awful for those children, in the care of someone who didn't love them, didn't brag about them, and wished their parents wouldn't take so long to pick them up. I said, "<em>The poor girl! No one wants her, but all she wants is her mom.</em>"<br /><br /></div>
<div> I'll never understand the concept of not raising your own kids. A hard-working father and a stay-at-home mom raised me, and now I'm proud that I'm doing the same for my children. Thank you for your encouragement for those of us who stay-at-home and love our kids every day.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Karla<br /><br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-11-05T18:59:00Z
The Goal of Parenting
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Goal-of-Parenting/222519264338464948.html
2019-11-04T18:59:00Z
2019-11-04T18:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>My 13 year-old son was sick and home alone from school when all the smoke alarms went off in our house. He first called 9-1-1, scooped up the pets, and then called me at work from the front yard. He did exactly what he should have done.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I arrived home in time to be greeted by two fire engines and the fire chief, who was holding a defective smoke detector. After they left, I told my son how proud I was of him, because taking action like he did required courage and bravery. Then I went into another room and privately let my feelings of being punched in the stomach surface. I thought, "<em>why didn't he call me first?</em>" I was hurt that I wasn't the first person he turned to in an emergency.<br /><br /></div>
<div>And then I thought of you, saying to so many callers (I'm paraphrasing): "<em>the goal of parenting is to make children not need you</em>," so this should be a huge "<em>YAY</em>" moment instead of the one I was letting myself sink into. <br /><br /></div>
<div>The truth is my son is braver than I am. My 13-year-old self would have been trying to get hold of mommy and daddy first while the house burned down. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I was jealous of my son's bravery. And I also felt I was deprived of a moment where I could come to the rescue and feel important. I then let those feelings slowly fade away, which was deeply satisfying, and realized that just like my son didn't need to call me, I was able to work through this moment without calling YOU, because I've listened to you for so long, and have learned from your teaching!</div>
<div><br />John</div>
<br /><br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-11-04T18:59:00Z
Doing the Right Thing for Your Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Doing-the-Right-Thing-for-Your-Kids/-400836071412223696.html
2019-11-01T17:59:00Z
2019-11-01T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>Recently, my husband and I celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary. I wanted to share with you the moment in our lives when we reached that fork in the road that led us to persevere and reach this milestone. About 33 years ago, our children were quite young, and we seriously considered separating. I was miserable and overwhelmed, wanting to escape my adult responsibilities. My husband was having similar thoughts. As we silently sat on opposite sides of the couch, I thought "<em>This isn't me! What has happened to you?</em>" And I thought of our children sleeping peacefully in their beds. I looked at my husband and said "<em>how will this affect our children? They trust us!"</em> As miserable as I am, it's nothing compared to the pain and suffering our children will endure if we fail. Their whole concept of love, commitment and marriage will be forever altered if we do this. <br /><br /></div>
<div>We called a marriage and family counselor the next day. It was rough going at times, but ultimately, it was the beginning of a new start and a new understanding of what was expected of each other to be successful as husband and wife. Thank YOU, Dr. Laura, too, for teaching us the true grit it takes to persevere and do the right thing for our children. And, by the way, our kids have blessed us with eight grandchildren. The dignity and grace they show in facing life's challenges are the blessings my husband and I share in knowing we made the right choice by working through our own difficulties and coming out the other side stronger, stable and more loving toward each other. Continue the good fight!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Abby</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-11-01T17:59:00Z
Lessons From My Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lessons-From-My-Dad/-803614192645570758.html
2019-10-31T17:59:00Z
2019-10-31T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>Your special hour focused on "<em>How You Remain Your Husband's Girlfriend</em>" gave me lots of ideas and reinforced things I am already doing. My husband works 12-hour rotating shifts days to nights, so I'm up on the early days sending him off with love and a hot breakfast in his belly and greeting him home in the evenings. On his night shift rotations, I lay in bed with him until he falls asleep in the morning. <br /><br />All our kids are in school, and I work occasional substitute hours at one of the schools, but my husband told me he prefers me at home not only for our children, but for him. He likes knowing I'm there for him, and not because he is forcing me, but because I want to be there. <br /><br />We've encouraged and helped each other grow in many ways. I've learned to understand what my husband does to show me his love - like giving me things because he thinks of me. Not diamonds, but good tennis shoes he thinks I'll like. He scrapes my car windows on very cold days, because he wants to do it for ME, which is the same way that he feels about the way I do things for him.<br /><br />My dad introduced me to your program. He used to slip your books onto my bookshelf as I was growing into a young woman. I didn't listen to you then, and I went on to make many mistakes in my life, but my dad was always there through it all. I started listening to you six months ago, and many things I hear you say I remember hearing from my dad. So, you have become a great source of comfort and teaching for me, even though much of it was channeled through my dad when I was young.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Katrina</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-10-31T17:59:00Z
The Power of 'Paying it Forward'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Power-of-Paying-it-Forward/-95748349304417420.html
2019-10-30T17:59:00Z
2019-10-30T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br /></div>
<div>Many of us get the opportunity to "<em>pay it forward</em>" because of you. After 25 years, I retired from law enforcement. For several years, I was the desk officer at my precinct. On Fridays and Saturday nights, many divorced couples would come in and do their "<em>child exchange,</em>" because they couldn't do the hand-offs in public without getting into an argument! Many times, I had to play peacemaker. I tried to reason with them as much as possible.<br /><br /></div>
<div>My lieutenant, who sat behind me and could overhear all my conversations, said to me one day "<em>Where do you get the knowledge and expertise that you share with all these people?</em>" I said that part of it was my law enforcement training, part of it is my Christianity, and the third part of it is Dr. Laura! He said "<em>Oh, okay.... carry on.</em>" <br /><br /></div>
<div>So even if we're not calling with our own problems, we're absorbing what you tell others and passing it on when and where appropriate. Thank you!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Sandy</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br /><br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-10-30T17:59:00Z
Kids Need Their Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Kids-Need-Their-Dad/547657043622684659.html
2019-10-29T17:59:00Z
2019-10-29T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've listened to you for 20 years. I'm a good mom, but I am "<em>the Mom</em>." My husband and I have a 16-year-old son, and our life has been turned upside down by a 14-year-old girl he likes, and her parents who seem to have very loose rules for her. The most common phrase out of my son's mouth is "<em>if her parents don't care, why should you?</em>"<br /><br /></div>
<div>When he was growing up, I hugged my son, and I played tons of games and sports with him that I cared nothing about. I helped with homework, made snacks, cleaned clothes, took him to church and have done all the Mom stuff I should. I even had the nerve to complain to my husband that he was too tough on our son. In retrospect, how dare I do that? <br /><br /></div>
<div>I've completely begged my husband for forgiveness for all the years that I told him he was too tough. Since our life has been turned upside down, it's now my husband who keeps our testosterone-driven child in check. It doesn't faze my husband when our son says he can't wait to leave or that he will fail out of school if he doesn't get his way. My husband has been a rock. I have seen first-hand a complete shift in the family dynamic, and now I totally understand why kids need the polarity of a mommy and a daddy. I am confident things will settle down, and my son will move on to have other girlfriends. I also now totally respect the toughness "<em>my man</em>" has shown.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Marian</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br /><br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-10-29T17:59:00Z
The Sacrifice of Parenthood
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Sacrifice-of-Parenthood/867407483557574288.html
2019-10-28T17:59:00Z
2019-10-28T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>Dr. Laura:<br /><br /></div>
<div>I was thinking about what I didn't know about kids until I had them. When you <em>think</em> you want babies, you really should look at whether you want to be a parent to a helpless baby who turns really quickly into a toddler, who instantly morphs into a grade-school child, who then breezes through the teenage years and all-of-a-sudden-oh-my-gosh that teenager drives away to college and you look in the mirror and realize you did your best!<br /><br />Your life is never the same after that baby enters your life, and you should really be asking yourself if you think you can be selfless for 22 years. I am glad I did and was, but what a whirlwind! Still, I wouldn't change it for anything.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Sharon</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br /><br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-10-28T17:59:00Z
The Importance of Consequences
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-of-Consequences/-638726558320757384.html
2019-10-25T18:59:00Z
2019-10-25T18:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>If our family had to do it all over again, I would let my kids take their lumps as kids and not bail them out in an attempt to "<em>rescue</em>" them. If the homework was left on the table, then it should be marked as late. I would no longer rush it to school.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Consequences when you're a kid are hard and bring tears, and kids think you're mean and don't love them. Consequences as an adult also often bring tears, but they can also bring unemployment, repossession of goods and more. Which is easier to bear? <br /><br /></div>
<div>As a parent, we have to take the time to teach and train our children. The tears are the glue that makes those lessons stick!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Whitney</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br /><br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-10-25T18:59:00Z
Cherishing Every Moment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cherishing-Every-Moment/37414571787140838.html
2019-10-24T17:59:00Z
2019-10-24T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I called into your recent special hour on how you stay your husband's girlfriend. I described turning on the shower for my husband and pulling up a bench to listen as he decompressed from his day. <br /><br />After talking to you that day, my husband came home, and I met him with a kiss and a cool drink. Then I turned on the shower for him, got his towel ready, and as he got into the shower, I pulled up my bench and told him about the special hour you had. Using the SiriusXM app, I found the spot where I had called in, and had it ready to play when he got out of the shower. I told him I wanted him to hear something interesting from your show. <br /><br />He heard me on the air with you and was in tears as he listened to me describing our daily ritual. He was overcome with emotion and said, "<em>you will never know how much that means to me</em>." I wanted you to know that sharing the chat I had on-air with you was a very special gift to him. Thank you for giving us the ability to engage in a wonderful reflection on how we cherish one another, moment-by-moment, in very small and loving ways each day of our lives together. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Tambra</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-10-24T17:59:00Z
Keeping Your Marriage Thriving
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-Your-Marriage-Thriving/-133283247718963166.html
2019-10-23T17:59:00Z
2019-10-23T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>My husband and I have run a family business together since 1990, and our six sons have joined us over time. I have some tips on not letting a family business interfere with your marriage:</div>
<ol>
<li><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Make every night date night. </span></em></strong> My husband and I go on a "<em>formal</em>" date pretty much every Friday night, and we've done it for the past seventeen years. We spend that time dreaming, discussing and planning over a glass of wine. However, I don't save up everything for date night - I do small things, like making him breakfast, tucking sexy notes into his jacket or briefcase even though we are with each other during the day, and just being sweet to him, with occasional "surprises" during the week when he least expects them. </li>
<br />
<li><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Take vacations.</span></em></strong> Now that the kids are adults, we usually try to take a two-week vacation together. And not just a staycation - we actually get away!</li>
<br />
<li><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Have only one leader.</span></em></strong> Someone has to make the final decision on things. We always discuss first, and then my husband has the final word. I trust him and we accept the outcome, good or bad. We have had good times and bad, but each time we've grown even closer.</li>
</ol>
<div>That's how we keep our business AND our marriage thriving!<br /><br />Beth</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage101.com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-10-23T17:59:00Z
Making New Priorities
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-New-Priorities/167600835722889654.html
2019-10-22T17:59:00Z
2019-10-22T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I've been a listener for the last six months. My husband and I are what some people say is the "<em>exception to the rule</em>" in that we lived across the street from one another growing up, and we've been in love since we were thirteen!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Fast forward 23 years, and we're married and still in love. As we were driving last night, we mentioned to one another how the past six months have been different in our marriage - good, but different. We both agreed it was thanks to you!<br /><br /></div>
<div>We don't have any problems, but I think subconsciously I've made changes and put more effort into the marriage by listening. In the mix of children, work and family, I think we were putting our marriage at the bottom of the list. Now, we consciously make it our number one priority. We do simple things, like taking a walk or going to get coffee - just a way of making time for US. I love him more today than ever! <br /><br />I do have a favorite bit of advice I've heard you give, but I have not yet tried it. It's in my back pocket for a future time, and my husband giggles every time he hears you say it. I think "<em>flashing your husband</em>" is the best advice out there, and I look forward to when I truly surprise him with that one!<br /><br />Truly thankful,</div>
<div><br />Jerri<br /><br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-10-22T17:59:00Z
Show Him You Care
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Show-Him-You-Care/375886375260356438.html
2019-10-21T17:59:00Z
2019-10-21T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I recently heard your special segment asking wives how they stayed their husbands' girlfriends. Unfortunately, my husband passed away, but here are three things I did to be a loving wife and make my man happy.<br /><br /></div>
<ol>
<li>Before we married, I was busy with work and volunteering, so I only saw my fiancé a few times a week. I wasn't very demanding of his time. He was quite nervous as our wedding date approached, and I asked him what he was afraid of. He said "<em>What if there's a football game on Sunday and then also Monday? Will you let me watch both?</em>" I still laugh about that question. We were married 20 years and I never ever asked him to turn off a football or baseball game. Moral of the story: give your husband some space to chill on his own or with his friends.</li>
<br />
<li>My mother-in law lived with us for a while and she always laughed when I got dolled up once I knew my husband was headed home from work. I'll never forget going to my first PTA meeting and seeing raggedly dressed, unmade up women with unkempt hair. I was mortified that they'd let their husbands see them like that. Moral of that story: look nice for your man. Show him you care enough about him and the relationship to keep the spark going!</li>
<br />
<li>I always tried to be happy and loving. No one is always happy, but if there isn't a major problem, I recommend women put a smile on their face, laugh, listen and just be loving and sweet. </li>
</ol>
<div><br />I still miss my man, but hold all of these memories very dear.</div>
<div><br />Dara</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br /><br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-10-21T17:59:00Z
Precious Moments Are Priceless
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Precious-Moments-Are-Priceless/196052960079019003.html
2019-10-18T17:59:00Z
2019-10-18T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I got to use my toe muscles the other day for something other than walking or standing - I used them to tickle my four-year-old daughter as she laid at the foot of my bed, pretending to hide under the covers from "<em>Mommy's monster tickle toes!</em>" Each tickle filled the house with her laughter and shouts as we spent however much time SHE wanted to finish our game. <br /><br /></div>
<div>That morning and every morning reminds me of how grateful and pleased I am to be a stay-at-home mom. I have a friend who is also a mother to a four-year-old daughter, but my friend is more interested in racing to earn the hundred thousand dollar salary mark by working a full time job and spending any free time she has outside her job on a side business. She sends her daughter to daycare during the week and leaves her with neighbors during the weekends and when she goes on vacations alone with her husband. I once had a similar opportunity to have a big job, but I declined. No amount of money, fame or social recognition could ever replace the precious time I get to spend every day with my children. I have to go now - my toe is being summoned for another game of tickle!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Tessa</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br /><br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-10-18T17:59:00Z
Family First
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Family-First/832663763880999757.html
2019-10-17T17:59:00Z
2019-10-17T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I'm grateful for your message and the moral compass you have helped me develop in the absence of my mother, who died when I was 24. My dad, a handsome man, who was only 48 when he was widowed with four children, instinctively implemented your principles of "<em>family first</em>," and despite our home being broken by death and not divorce, declined dates until we were all adults and out of the house. This selfless act of personal sacrifice allowed us to adequately grieve the loss of our mother, which gave us the time and space to develop healthy coping skills that are so obviously lacking in many of the millennial generation.<br /><br /></div>
<div>My dad turns 60 next month, and I will forever admire him in his commitment to his wife and children. I hope anyone who finds themselves in a similar position considers devoting themselves to the healthy development of their children over the development of their personal lives. I am a product of how that sacrifice and investment in one's family over one's self has paid off. My mother, God rest her soul, chose wisely. Thank you for having common sense in a world gone mad and thank for always being an encouraging voice of reason too.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Anne</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br /><br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-10-17T17:59:00Z
Appreciating The Man You Married
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Appreciating-The-Man-You-Married/-968203678582527783.html
2019-10-16T17:59:00Z
2019-10-16T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm a long-time listener, married to my husband for just over a year. During our first year of marriage, I experienced some health issues. I was bounced around to different doctors and specialists and put on various medications. To say it was a less than ideal first year is an understatement. Through the whole thing, my husband was amazing, and I realized what a special man I married.</div>
<div><br />During these tough times, I continued to cook his meals and share my appreciation for his love and support. However, our physical love took a back burner because of the medications and the emotional roller coaster, so things were not as they should be after one year. </div>
<div><br />Then I heard your special hour with wives sharing how they stay their husbands' girlfriends and I was inspired. Although I listened to you often, I forgot to appreciate the man I married! Over that weekend, I thought before I reacted, I smiled, laughed, touched, snuggled, loved and "<em>loved on</em>" my husband. It didn't even take the entire weekend before I realized we were both happier. He was more affectionate and loving, and I was reminded what an incredible man I married. Thanks so much for spreading the marital success and reminding us newlyweds of the importance of small things!</div>
<div><br />Soraya</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br /><br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-10-16T17:59:00Z
Being A Better Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-A-Better-Man/-946838006833799142.html
2019-10-15T17:59:00Z
2019-10-15T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've been a listener for years. For a guy like me - a traveling salesman - you're a godsend! Your common sense has made me want to be a better man. I've learned why I fall, then learned how to pick myself up.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I've been a practicing Dr. Laura-type husband before I ever listened to you, but you taught me how to be even better. I give one hundred percent to my bride of 22 years, and she does the same. The "<em>D</em>" word (divorce) has never come up, because it's not an option. Everything can be talked out. You've helped me hone that. I tell my wife how beautiful she is, and I still lust after her. She is 62 and looks 42. She takes care of herself as do I. I want her to only want ME, and she does.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Both our first marriages ended because of infidelity on our spouses' part. When you go through that, you never want to feel that pain again or cause it for someone else. There's so much comfort in knowing that I've got a partner for life. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Dr. Laura, you're not much older than me, but since my Mom passed away recently, I hereby adopt you, if you'll have me. Keep on making the world a better place!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Ken<br /><br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-10-15T17:59:00Z
Continuing the Legacy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Continuing-the-Legacy/236986058284985346.html
2019-10-14T17:59:00Z
2019-10-14T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Today, I watched three of my five grandchildren, so my youngest daughter could drop the other kids off at school and go have lunch with a friend. I love spending that time with them. We played with toys, read books and took a long walk. I was about to make lunch for them, when I noticed the lunch boxes my daughter had sent with them. Inside were the most organized and nutritional lunches! I was happy to see this.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Then a thought occurred to me - my daughter is an amazing mother, wife and daughter. She loves taking care of her family. When I looked at the packed lunches, I thought "<em>she is a professional Mom.</em>" "<em>Stay-at-home Mom</em>" is a privilege and a great title, but if someone was to ask her what she did for a living, I thought a great response would be "<em>I am a professional Mom.</em>" Being a real mom takes great ingenuity, patience, insight, forethought, planning, investigation, timing, budgeting, and the ability to multitask on a moment's notice, all without ever taking a vacation or a sick day. I was a "<em>professional Mom</em>" as well, but I wasn't that organized, and I lived in sweatpants! Still, it was the best thing I ever did, and I'm glad my daughter is carrying that legacy on with HER children.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Angela</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br /><br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-10-14T17:59:00Z
Changing Focus
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-Focus/710884497639696438.html
2019-10-11T17:59:00Z
2019-10-11T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>I want to thank you for helping my wife with your sound advice. I've watched her struggle to try and make her birth family happy, to no avail. Her family has shown disrespectful and outright mean behavior to her over the course of our 20-year marriage, and it caused her a lot of sleeplessness and the toxicity crept into our own home.<br /><br /></div>
<div>We finally cut off contact four years ago, but still my wife struggled with the thought that she meant so little to her mother and brothers and sister. My wife is strong, beautiful, empathetic and a great mom, but these difficulties took away from our home life. Then she happened to be listening when you talked about her exact situation with another caller and how by trying for years to make mean people like her, she had broken her marriage vows to her husband. It was like a light bulb went off in my wife's head, and she broke down and came to me in tears. We have two children, and I adore my wife and would do anything for her, but you helped give her perspective and focus on our marriage and OUR family. It amazes me the change that your one show has made for our family and our marriage. I am thankful for your program and forever in your debt.</div>
<div><br />Bill</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br /><br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-10-11T17:59:00Z
I've Got a New Attitude
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ive-Got-a-New-Attitude/436008995876179387.html
2019-10-10T17:59:00Z
2019-10-10T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>I've been listening to your program since I was too young to retain anything besides your "<em>I've Got a New Attitude</em>" theme song! My mom was a stay-at-home mom and between listening to you and having her at home, I didn't even realize that moms did anything beside stay at home and raise their children. We all now have your podcast, which I listen to every day.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I am proud to say I am 23 years old, supporting myself, and not shacking up like many of my friends are. When they ask me for advice, they now will ask for my "<em>Dr. Laura</em>" advice, because I quote you frequently, and I give it to them in a straightforward, no-nonsense way. I am excited to get married and have kids, so I can also be a stay-at-home mom and be my kids' mom and my husband's girlfriend. <br /><br /></div>
<div>I have already told my parents I expect to get The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands as a wedding gift, to which my dad responded that he didn't think I needed it, because of how much I listen to you and apply your wisdom to my life already. I plan to read it anyway. My life has been impacted in such a positive way because of you, and my non-"<em>beautiful</em>," non-snowflake children's lives will be as well.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Jenna<br /><br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-10-10T17:59:00Z
Fixing My Faulty Picker
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fixing-My-Faulty-Picker/68512706056527931.html
2019-10-09T17:59:00Z
2019-10-09T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />After years of dating disasters and a failed marriage to a lazy juvenile "<em>man</em>," I finally learned about my pattern. I was attached to self-centered jocks and bad boys. Once I recognized that, I began to work on fixing my faulty "<em>picker!</em>"<br /><br /></div>
<div>Five years after getting divorced, I went to a local dance with some friends. A very pleasant man asked me to dance. He wasn't my type - too white collar. Too nice. We danced several dances and had a fun time. He asked for my number. Breaking from my norm, I gave it to him! It took work on my part to relax into a relationship with this nice man. I wasn't used to being treated like I was important. I wasn't used to be cared for. I took the leap of faith and let it happen. I discovered that I could give to him and that he would take care of me. The day he asked me to marry him, I knew we were going to work. I loved and accepted him exactly and imperfectly as he was. We made a pact to always treat kindly even if we were upset with one another. No name calling or hurtful comments allowed. EVER. In our 24 years, we have never broken that pact. Recognizing what I contributed to my early failures helped me to avoid another bad choice.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I am grateful every day for the sweet, kind, intelligent man who found me. </div>
<div>Thank you....<br /><br /></div>
<div>"<em>Sunshine</em>" (a nickname he still calls me!)</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br /><br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-10-09T17:59:00Z
Daily Love Offerings
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Daily-Love-Offerings/320585496400956464.html
2019-10-08T17:59:00Z
2019-10-08T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br /></div>
<div>I credit you with being largely responsible for the fact that my husband and I are still honeymooning after 35 years of marriage. We are the couple that holds hands wherever we go. And every single day for the past five years, my husband leaves me a little present, which he calls "<em>daily love offerings.</em>"<br /><br /></div>
<div>I work from home, and the first little gift he ever gave me was a perfect fall leaf he left on my table. I thanked him profusely and he is (as he says) "<em>Pavlov's husband!</em>" Since he got a positive reaction to that pretty leaf, he has left me a little something each day. It might be a snack or some fresh flowers. It might be a cozy sweatshirt or costume jewelry earrings. If he travels, he hides the "<em>daily love offerings</em>" and calls me each day to tell me where to find them. If I travel, he tucks them into my suitcase. I pack him lunch almost every day, and write a love note in the bag. He says we are "<em>gentle</em>" with each other. <br /><br /></div>
<div>My daughter works with me in my small business, and we listen to you every day. I am gratified to see that she has not only chosen wisely in her new marriage, but is also treating kindly, as they learn to be a strong couple. Your influence is rippling out and touching generations. With deep thanks,<br /><br /></div>
<div>Deanna</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br /><br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-10-08T17:59:00Z
Kids Will Always Need Thier Parents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Kids-Will-Always-Need-Thier-Parents/-909910226695072909.html
2019-10-07T17:59:00Z
2019-10-07T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I think it's essential to a child's well-being for a parent to be around and available at ALL ages, particularly when they get home from school. For most of my life, my mom stayed home. There were times I liked her being around all the time better than others, but looking back on it now, it really was a nice time in my life. She was always there to help with homework, she made dinner every night, and sometimes she just hung out with me and my friends. <br /><br /></div>
<div>When I was 16, my parents divorced, and mom was no longer able to stay at home with me. She was in a full-time training program so she could obtain employment and I always came home to an empty house after school. It was quite a change. By the time she got home, it was dark, and she was too tired for me or to fix dinner, so it was usually "<em>fend for yourself.</em>" I became very lonely and started spending way too much time with a less than desirable boy. The second I was able to, I ran off with him. </div>
<div><br />It took a few years for me to sort out the mistakes I made as a result of doing that. I've learned my lesson and am now married to a wonderful man and we have two kidlets. I've decided I will stay home with them through all their years of schooling. I want them to always feel like there is someone there for them, whether it's going with them on a field trip, taking them to practice or making them snacks after school. I've listened to you since I was a child, and you've helped shape me into the woman I am now.</div>
<div><br />Ariana</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br /><br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-10-07T17:59:00Z
Theh 'Dr. Laura Way'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Theh-Dr.-Laura-Way/-467580448954790927.html
2019-10-04T17:59:00Z
2019-10-04T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br /></div>
<div>My husband and I married very young (at 19), and we're now both 23. We didn't shack up and we waited to have sex on our wedding night. It was the best thing we ever did, and I suggest to my friends that they do the same. We still act like newlyweds, even after four years.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I work for a trucking company, and we live in a camper. We're both working hard in order to save up enough money to buy a home. We're also saving up so that we can afford for me to be a stay-at-home mom. We're waiting to have children until we reach these goals. We believe in sacrificing now so that our children may have a better future. I stumbled on your program after we got married, and now I soak up so much from listening to you. I will continue to apply your wisdom to our lives so that we may have a happy and healthy family. We want to do things the right way, which is, of course, the "<em>Dr. Laura way.</em>"<br /><br /></div>
<div>Rose</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-10-04T17:59:00Z
Teaching Them To Earn
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teaching-Them-To-Earn/-877558180243051973.html
2019-10-02T17:59:00Z
2019-10-02T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br /></div>
<div>I've listened to your show for years, and I have three grown daughters. When they each turned five years old, my husband and I took them to the bank to open a savings account. We made them put half of all the money they got as gifts or earned working at summer jobs (when they got older) in the savings account. <br /><br /></div>
<div>When they graduated high school and went off to college, they had saved enough money to buy a used car and have spending money, so they did not have to work while they attended college. To this day, all three of them are good savers and don't live paycheck to paycheck. They understand the value of money because my husband and I went out of our way to teach them.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Ellen</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div><br /><br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-10-02T17:59:00Z
Daily Affirmations
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Daily-Affirmations/-307708711528203822.html
2019-10-01T17:59:00Z
2019-10-01T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />Over the last five years that I have been listening to you, one pearl of wisdom that has really stuck with me is to compliment my husband instead of tearing him down. He needs to know that I need him, love him and enjoy his company.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Knowing that he is "<em>my man</em>" has been a huge ego boost for him, and keeps him being a sweet husband. Daily, I am to affirm to him what an amazing husband he is and how he does a great job taking care of me, while also being a hard worker with great character. I make sure to thank him for the little things, like taking out the trash and killing spiders, and I ALWAYS remind him how sexy he is to me.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Thank you for reminding me to always be my husband's girlfriend!</div>
<div><br />Edie</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div><br /><br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-10-01T17:59:00Z
It's Not Luck, It's My Choice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Not-Luck,-Its-My-Choice/-76926279564493424.html
2019-09-30T17:59:00Z
2019-09-30T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I recently heard you mention a good comeback when someone tells a stay-at-home parent that they're "<em>so lucky.</em>" You said, "<em>No luck; just a choice.</em>" I wouldn't trade my staying home for anything. Sure, it's a sacrifice, but I don't need a fancy work wardrobe or expensive shoes. I clean my own house, eat peanut butter for lunch and manage a budget. Because we're on one income, we say "<em>no</em>" to a lot of things. We've made that work for 20 years. <br /><br />Each time I wonder if it's time to re-enter the work force now that my kids are older teens, it makes me sad to think of them coming home to an empty house. I love making them healthy snacks after school, hearing about their day and preparing dinner for all of us. They may not appreciate every moment, but I cherish the time with them. I'm never bored.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I have no shame in being an at-home mom and have never felt I needed the "<em>fulfillment</em>" of a career. I have three degrees and feel my biggest accomplishment is seeing my children thrive! So, it's not luck -- just our choice and sacrifice along the way, and it's all worth it.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Jennifer</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div><br /><br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-09-30T17:59:00Z
The Value of Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Value-of-Mom/530793792086327694.html
2019-09-27T17:59:00Z
2019-09-27T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />When my wife and I got engaged 37 years ago, we discussed our goals for our future family. Because my mom worked, I was adamant that my wife stay at home and raise our children. Thankfully, she agreed. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Ultimately, we had four children, and it was often a struggle to get by on one income. Our children were seldom able to participate in all the extra-curricular activities that their friends did, but we made a point of doing a lot of family activities together. We rarely ate out because the budget didn't allow it. But today, our children are all raised and have all chosen well in their selection of spouses. Our daughters and daughters-in-law are stay-at-home moms, and we're proud of the way they're raising our fifteen grandchildren! <br /><br /></div>
<div>When our children were young, my wife often told me how she loved being home when they came in from school. They always wanted to talk about their day, and she was happy to listen. Because I was at work, I generally missed out on those conversations. One day, however, I happened to be home and was anticipating the after-school discussions my wife told me about. When the first child walked in from school, she glanced my way, said "<em>Oh, hi dad!</em>" and then turned, called out "<em>Mom</em>" and began searching the house for her mother. While I was initially disappointed, I quickly realized the value of their relationship with their MOTHER. It was a priceless moment for me. Thank YOU for continuing to teach this priceless principle to the world.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Russ</div>
</div>
</div>
<div><br /><br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-09-27T17:59:00Z
The Importance of Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-of-Family/106507211894446371.html
2019-09-26T17:59:00Z
2019-09-26T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div><br />I am a stay-at-home mom, thanks to watching MY mom, who stayed home with my brother, my sister and me and always said it was a blessing. I couldn't agree more. Unfortunately, my brother died when he was only 8. It was a tough few years on our family, but we grew closer knowing how important family really is.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Growing up, I didn't realize that moms actually CHOSE to work over spending the days with their kids. It was an odd concept to me that you would want to send your kid to a daycare where you couldn't enjoy your days together. I didn't come to this realization until I got my first corporate job at the age of 23. I was floored when my manager had her daughter and chose to put her in daycare at eight weeks old! It wasn't because she needed the money - she said she did it because she needed a break from the baby! Sadly, I found that she wasn't the only one who thought that way. Nine years later when I was pregnant with my first son, I told that same manager that I would not be returning to work. She responded by saying that daycare had taught her daughter so much socially and developmentally. Then I told her the story of my brother dying at age 8, and I said that since we do not know what life has planned for us, I was going to spend MY time with my kids and be their mother. Life is too short not to raise your own child. I couldn't be prouder of the path I have taken. Thank YOU for always being there for us stay-at-home moms.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Myrna</div>
</div>
<div><br /><br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-09-26T17:59:00Z
Showing My Gratitude
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Showing-My-Gratitude/617164406721595085.html
2019-09-25T17:59:00Z
2019-09-25T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />My mother was a stay-at-home mom. She and my dad made sacrifices to make sure she could raise me. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Growing up in the 90s, when I was in school, I was practically ashamed of the fact that we were a one-income household. All the other kids' moms worked. How dumb was I? I was fortunate to have a loving mother at home waiting for me once I got off the school bus. The other kids were shipped off to day care or to a nanny's house. <br /><br /></div>
<div>My mom died when I was 19 years old. I never got the chance to show her how much I appreciated what she did for me. I aim to show my gratitude by living the life she would have wanted me to live. I hope one day to return the favor should I have children of my own.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Kaycee<br /><br /><br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-09-25T17:59:00Z
Taking Responsibility For My Actions
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-Responsibility-For-My-Actions/956396986054472552.html
2019-09-24T17:59:00Z
2019-09-24T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I've been divorced for nine years. It would have been easy to play the victim, but from listening to you, I realized I chose poorly when I married. I am responsible for the mess I created for my two sons and for myself. <br /><br /></div>
<div>My boys were in the second and third grade when I divorced, and listening to you, I knew the statistics were better for my kids if I didn't date or re-marry. I wanted them to know that someone in their lives could make a promise and commitment and follow through with it. I told them with one hundred percent certainty that I was only here for THEM and they could relax. No dating or new families moving in. <br /><br /></div>
<div>I even called you once because my kids were watching their dad "<em>playing</em>" different women. You told me that I created this, but I couldn't control it. However, I could comment on his behavior, which is what I did. I told my kids why they shouldn't act like that, or sometimes, commented on when he did the right thing. My boys are now at the tail end of high school and recently told me how important my being there was for them. One said that without the guidance and moral foundation I provided him, he might just have drifted away. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Ten years goes by fast, and you might just save your kids by doing this. I have one more year and both boys will be in college and then I will be able to start a new adventure. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Gisele</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-09-24T17:59:00Z
Keep On Rockin' and Talkin'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keep-On-Rockin-and-Talkin/554084854654148158.html
2019-09-23T17:59:00Z
2019-09-23T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I am grateful my husband frequently listened at work to your program 25 years ago. With you on his shoulder, he mapped out our budget so that I could be a stay-at-home mom once our new baby arrived. My own mother had been a working mom and I had never imagined myself in a different role. Being my daughter's mom, however, became my best job ever. While simultaneously demanding and enriching, it was a life-changing experience.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I have great memories of spending constant-companion time with her, including listening to her mimicking you from her back-seat booster in my car: "Hi, welcome to the program! How can I help you today?" We listened to you whenever we were on the go in my car. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Next, I made a career choice while she was in grade school. As I helped out as the "<em>room mom</em>," I decided to return to school for my degree in education. I've now taught fifth grade for 15 years.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I can see how my at-home experience was great role-modeling for my daughter too. She's getting married soon, and she's planned her career choices around the goal of being a stay-at-home mom in the future. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Keep on rockin' and talkin' about those of us who raise our kidlets!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Sasha</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-09-23T17:59:00Z
Little Things Add Up Quickly
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Little-Things-Add-Up-Quickly/-737716752499172692.html
2019-09-20T17:59:00Z
2019-09-20T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I wanted to share a little nightly ritual I discovered early on in our marriage that has been very beneficial to my husband and me. At night, I snuggle up to my husband and then thank him for every last thing I noticed that he has done that day. I think of it as saying a prayer of gratitude.<br /><br /></div>
<div>One of these "<em>prayers</em>" might go like this...."<em>Thank you for emptying the dishwasher and taking the trash out, thank you for changing the baby's diaper, thank you for battling traffic to get to work, thank you for working so hard and doing such a good job so I can be home with the kids, thank you for your texts, thank you for playing with the kids, thank you for helping get dinner on the table, thank you for reading to our kids, and thank you for fixing the garbage disposal.</em>"<br /><br /></div>
<div>The effect of saying all these things together is profound. I am reminded what a great man he is, and he feels appreciated, noticed, and important in return. My husband, in his "<em>less verbal</em>" way of showing love rubs my back or plays with my hair during these moments of closeness. It's a very positive end to the day. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Kate</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br /><br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-09-20T17:59:00Z
The Importance of Being a Stay At Home Mommy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-of-Being-a-Stay-At-Home-Mommy/999080151552313360.html
2019-09-19T17:59:00Z
2019-09-19T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I wish I had found your program many years ago when I began my motherhood journey. I'm now 38 years old with two sons, ages 15 and 18. I stayed home with each of them until they were a year old, but I was young and impatient and thought one year was plenty. I let society tell me that a working mother contributing to the finances has more power and significance than a stay-at-home mom. That is a lie.<br /><br /></div>
<div>If I had known how quickly their little lives would fly by, I would have stayed home with them every second until they went to school. It breaks my heart that I missed so much time with them. Since hearing your program and reading your books on marriage, I realize all the things I could have/should have/would have done differently.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I wish I could sit down with every frustrated, impatient, career-driven, daycare-supporting young momma to share my heart with them on how infinitely important it is for their babies to have mom at home to love them all day and what it will mean to HER someday in the future as well. Thank you for your firm stance on motherhood and against daycare, and I hope, plead and pray more women follow your advice on this topic so 18 years down the road they won't be in my shoes.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Cherise<br /><br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br />Remember that you can either read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-09-19T17:59:00Z
Pieces of Dr. Laura Wisdom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Pieces-of-Dr.-Laura-Wisdom/-219995686197675386.html
2019-09-18T17:59:00Z
2019-09-18T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I discovered you about five years ago, and I've enjoyed listening to you immensely. Although my liberally raised self sometimes disagrees with you, I find it amusing that I've been living most of your principles all along! I dated my husband for four years before we married, but mostly because we wanted to wait until we were out of our early 20s. He proposed, I said yes, we got married, and had two sons (in that order)! </div>
<div><br />Our boys are six and eight and I am a stay-at-home mom. I don't let them listen to your show all that often because sometimes the topics are a little bit too adult for them, but they have heard you before and know your voice well. I never knew they were REALLY listening until I was putting my clothes away in the closet with my 8-year-old one day. During the course of our conversation, I must have given him one too many pieces of "<em>Dr. Laura wisdom,</em>" because he said (rather snarkily): "<em>I know, Mom, I can't live with a girl until I get married, I can't have babies until after I'm married, and I have to marry a girl who will stay home with our kids!!</em>" Even though I wanted to scold him for the snark, how could I when I know WE had gotten through to him? That was a proud moment for me and I hope it is for you, as well. Now I know I'm raising a real man. Thank you!</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br /><br />Remember that you can either read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-09-18T17:59:00Z
Gaining A New Understanding
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Gaining-A-New-Understanding/-423638423098379055.html
2019-09-17T17:59:00Z
2019-09-17T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>Dr. Laura:<br /><br />You were instrumental in improving my life and my marriage by helping me understand men, by outlining how to be a good wife, and by expressing so well the value of motherhood, fatherhood and so much more. I have learned a great deal from you and appreciate your gift of simplifying tough situations and getting to the heart of a matter.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Several years ago, you did a book signing in my area. I was almost to your table, when my young son let out a scream. I was totally embarrassed, but you just rolled with it and returned the scream back to him. He was stunned, but it made ME smile! </div>
<div><br />My husband passed away four years ago at the age of 41. I chose wisely, and he was very good to me. Just being able to listen to you help other people with their losses and hearing your own experience of dealing with loss has helped me through. Thanks too for the yearly pre-Thanksgiving Corny Joke Day. It's one of my favorite traditions!</div>
<div><br />Shelley</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br />Remember that you can either read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-09-17T17:59:00Z
Making Me Smile
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Me-Smile/-950837046101513009.html
2019-09-16T17:59:00Z
2019-09-16T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>Dr. Laura:<br /><br />You were instrumental in improving my life and my marriage by helping me understand men, by outlining how to be a good wife, and by expressing so well the value of motherhood, fatherhood and so much more. I have learned a great deal from you and appreciate your gift of simplifying tough situations and getting to the heart of a matter.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Several years ago, you did a book signing in my area. I was almost to your table, when my young son let out a scream. I was totally embarrassed, but you just rolled with it and returned the scream back to him. He was stunned, but it made ME smile! </div>
<div><br />My husband passed away four years ago at the age of 41. I chose wisely, and he was very good to me. Just being able to listen to you help other people with their losses and hearing your own experience of dealing with loss has helped me through. Thanks too for the yearly pre-Thanksgiving Corny Joke Day. It's one of my favorite traditions!</div>
<div><br />Shelley</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br />Remember that you can either read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-09-16T17:59:00Z
This Too Shall Pass
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/This-Too-Shall-Pass/-185704211589666766.html
2019-09-13T17:59:00Z
2019-09-13T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I recently heard your special hour about the best lessons learned from your parents. The best advice I got growing up was from my Nana, the only grandparent I had, because I'm the youngest of six, born when my mom was 40 years old.</div>
<div><br />Nana was one of eight children, born in San Francisco in 1901. She experienced the great earthquake of 1906, two world wars, the depression, losing her siblings, her husband, and her only child (my mom). I never once heard her feel sorry for herself or complain about her life situation. </div>
<div><br />Engraved in my mind, heart and soul is her telling me "<em>This too shall pass.</em>" I've had a very difficult year this year, and this advice kept me hanging on.</div>
<div><br />Sandra</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br />Remember that you can either read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-09-13T17:59:00Z
My Personal Cheerleader
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Personal-Cheerleader/572199882718413897.html
2019-09-12T17:59:00Z
2019-09-12T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div><br />I grew up with a stay-at-home mom and I always knew I wanted to be one too. What I didn't anticipate, however, was how the negative comments I got would affect me. I hated people saying I was "lucky" to be able to stay home with my kids. I knew it wasn't luck - it took wisdom and sacrifice! I also knew that those who commented could make the same decision if they weren't so self-centered. I knew all these things, but I still felt "<em>pushed down</em>" and alone in my thinking about the value of being a stay-at-home mom. Then my sister introduced me to you.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Thank you for verbalizing the things I was thinking! You became my personal cheerleader. I didn't realize how much I needed your encouragement until I got it. Thank you a million times for elevating me and all the other warrior stay-at-home moms listening. While I still love listening to you, I don't crave the affirmation as much as I used to. My backbone is strong enough now that I am a cheerleader for other stay-at-home moms. Also, my husband and I recently dropped off our first-born at college, so there's only one now left at home. We will finish raising him and send him out into the world within a few years.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Appreciatively,</div>
<div><br />Sheryl</div>
</div>
<br /><br />Remember that you can either read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-09-12T17:59:00Z
Simple Lessons
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Simple-Lessons/-725129024750145114.html
2019-09-11T17:59:00Z
2019-09-11T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />Hi, Dr. Laura:</div>
<div><br />When I was in tenth grade, my father caught me smoking marijuana. He told me something I'll never forget. "<em>Son, there's three kinds of people in the world. Those that make things happen, those that watch things happen, and those who say</em> "<em>Hey, man, what's happenin'? So, which one do YOU want to be?</em>"</div>
<div><br />Every time I've had a decision to make, and every time I had to choose between ambition and laziness, I always remembered that day. That simple lesson didn't contain many words, but it has lasted me a lifetime. </div>
<div><br />My dad was part of America's Greatest Generation. He survived the first wave of D-Day, the Battle of the Bulge, and (more importantly) three teenage boys who thought they knew more than the ol' man. Men of his character seem few and far between nowadays. </div>
<div><br />Rick</div>
<br /><br /><br />Remember that you can either read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-09-11T17:59:00Z
Every Marriage Has the Potential For Growth
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Every-Marriage-Has-the-Potential-For-Growth/543794409613184839.html
2019-09-10T17:59:00Z
2019-09-10T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>Everyone who knows me also knows I have a healthy obsession with your book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. After being married a year, I read it and now I always have a supply to give as wedding gifts or bridal shower gifts or even birthday gifts. I LOVE the difference I have seen in my marriage and am glad I read it early on. Seven happy years have gone by, we have three children, and my love for my husband (and his for me) only grown stronger the more I put into practice the words of wisdom from "<em>Proper Care</em>."<br /><br /></div>
<div>Also, I'm in a book club, and each month, the selected book is chosen by a different person in the group. My choice, of course, was "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/s?k=the+proper+care+and+feeding+of+husbands&hvadid=77859220821049&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&hvqmt=e&tag=mh0b-20&ref=pd_sl_4vlv49x0q4_e" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>," and this month, everyone is reading it. I cannot wait to have the discussion! One member of the group has already messaged me saying that she and Dr. Laura have not made a love connection, but I know your heart has to be open to change and the potential for growth if you want a better marriage. It can happen, but it has to start with each of US. </div>
<div><br />Karen<br /><br /><br /><br /></div>
<div>Remember that you can either read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands," or you can take my video course based on the book. To find out more about the course, go to marriage one oh one dot com.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-09-10T17:59:00Z
A Representation of Power
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Representation-of-Power/220270553702778363.html
2019-09-09T17:59:00Z
2019-09-09T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>
<div>I've listened to you since I was a senior in high school and have shared your wisdom with my two daughters, aged 12 and 10. Both recently did things I was very proud of. One daughter in junior high told me she saw a girl sitting by herself at lunch and asked if the girl wanted to sit with her. Then my youngest daughter told me that kids in her class had to run a mile. One girl fell as they started their run, and everyone ran around her. My daughter stopped to help her up. I told them both how proud I was of them and how proud YOU would be of them, as I explained how important you have been in my life, Dr. Laura, helping shape me into being a good mom.<br /><br />My young one has a project for school in which she is to cut out or print anything that can mean the word "<em>power</em>." I heard the computer printer working hard the other night, and then she deposited her papers on our kitchen table. Among the images she printed were Dr. Martin Luther King, doctors, technology, money, and YOU, Dr. Laura! She included you to represent the word "<em>power.</em>" I couldn't have been prouder. She's only ten years old and already she knows that your voice is power and a legacy that will live on through all your listeners and our children. Thank you for all you've done for me and my family.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Lindsay</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-09-09T17:59:00Z
Dr. Laura In My Head
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dr.-Laura-In-My-Head/136777253205611937.html
2019-09-06T17:59:00Z
2019-09-06T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>
<div>I am 23 years old and have been listening to you for about two years. When I first found your program, I listened to laugh as you yelled at people who called in! Slowly, I started "<em>hearing</em>" your voice in my head, telling me to act like a lady. And I heard how a man needs to be treated. I was in an abusive relationship at the time and saw myself as a victim. Then I took your advice. I looked hard in the mirror and realized I was acting like an unpaid whore, so I was being treated like on. I was just following societal cues that made it okay to label myself a victim.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Today, I am happily involved with a wonderful man, and it turns out he was right in front of me all along, but I needed to act like a lady if he was going to be in my life. We are talking about engagement, but we want to wait two years to make sure we are mature enough for this decision. I'm currently reading The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands to get a head start! Last week, he surprised me with red velvet cupcakes (my favorite) and last night he made a lobster dinner! <br /><br /></div>
<div>I wanted to write to you because I wish more people my age would take your advice. I was spending my life as a girl who thought she was entitled to everything no matter what I did, because I knew I was attractive to men. Thank you for helping me change my perspective and consequently, changing my life. I know my future will be one filled with love, partnership and teamwork.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Eloise</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-09-06T17:59:00Z
Miss Grace
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Miss-Grace/-98711728461358961.html
2019-09-05T17:59:00Z
2019-09-05T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />
<div>I listen to you when I am traveling and often, I hear a call that leaves a mark on my heart. Once not too long ago, you asked men what it meant to them to carry their new bride over the threshold. By the end of these calls, I had tears in my eyes, especially when one man said that it meant he was whisking his new bride off her feet!<br /><br /></div>
<div>So, when I got home, I asked MY husband what it meant to him. His answer was that it meant that he was my protector and the guardian of my heart. My husband is also worthy of my love, respect and appreciation and is a man of integrity. Every day, he calls me (or I him) to say thank you for being married to him for another day. This started the day we were married and has been going on now for over nineteen years. Every night, if his head is not lying on my chest, we fall asleep holding hands. He makes me want to strive to be a better woman for him. He is "<em>my sweetheart</em>" and I am his "<em>Miss Grace.</em>" I am truly proud to call him my husband and proud to be his wife.</div>
<div><br />Rebecca</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-09-05T17:59:00Z
Finding A Way For Mommy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finding-A-Way-For-Mommy/526952067467600888.html
2019-09-04T17:59:00Z
2019-09-04T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I've been listening to your show for 22 years, and I've been married for 27 years. When my husband and I decided to have a baby, I never thought much about being a stay-at-home mom, because I never thought we could afford for me not to work. I really liked my job and never thought of being a full-time mom until I started listening to your show. Well, it didn't take long for me to be miserable and not so happy with the job I loved.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Hearing you tell other moms that they shouldn't have children if they didn't want to raise them, I started noticing behavioral traits in my daughter that were like what you said "<em>daycare kids</em>" exhibited. That's when we decided to find a way for me to stay home and we did. We listened to you on the radio in the car so much that at three years old, my daughter couldn't write or spell her own name, but she could say "<em>1-800-DR LAURA!</em>" I went on to have another child, and I was his stay-at-home mom and the room mother for his class. I did all the wonderful things stay-at-home Moms get to do, and it was the best decision we ever made.<br /><br /></div>
<div>My daughter is now a college graduate and my son is a junior in high school. Keep up the nagging, because it works!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Morgan<br /><br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-09-04T17:59:00Z
Changing For Our Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-For-Our-Family/-865994806141174260.html
2019-09-03T17:59:00Z
2019-09-03T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>I've been married for 13 years with three young children. I am now my husband's very loving girlfriend, but for the first half of our marriage, I was not. Sometimes, I wasn't even his friend. I did not have a clear picture of what it meant to be a loving wife. It took my husband telling me that I could leave if I wanted because he felt there was nothing he could do to make me happy that led to our decision to separate. Then my Dad told me something that stopped me in my tracks, and which I've heard you tell many women since then who are where I was years ago. He said, "<em>You need to know that if you leave him, another woman will be raising and loving your children as a Mom. Can you be okay with that?</em>" Of course, I could not. And neither could my husband.<br /><br /></div>
<div>We got down to work, got counseling and really dug ourselves out of the deep trenches we were in. These days, we still have ups and downs, but we truly LOVE one another and respect one another. Recently, my sister-in-law called to say SHE was going to leave her husband. Nothing could change her mind. That's when I uttered those same wise words that my Dad had told me. Three days later she called me with a new attitude, saying that for three solid nights she imagined another woman raising her children, and on the third night, she knew what she had to do. She and her husband are now on the long, but important road to happiness and mutual respect. Thank you, Dr. Laura for telling the truth to couples who are thinking of divorce.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Laurie</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-09-03T17:59:00Z
Tiny Flirtations Make Big Impact
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Tiny-Flirtations-Make-Big-Impact/-213214468942735764.html
2019-08-30T17:59:00Z
2019-08-30T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I try to practice being my husband's girlfriend every day. We have two daughters (ages two and eight months), and sometimes it is hard for us to connect after the girls are in bed. He had been having a particularly hard week at work recently, so I sent him a text, which said:<br /><br /><em>"Baby, how close are you to being home?"</em><br /><br />He texted back:<br /><br /><em>"I'm going to leave in a little while. What's up?"</em><br /><br />I'm sure he expected me to ask him to stop at the store to grab something or to tell him about something we needed to do when he got home. Instead, I sent this message:<br /><br /><em>"Dang! I was hoping you were close. I was going to set the girls up with a movie and a snack and meet you in the bedroom."</em><br /><br />Not 30 seconds passed before he replied:<br /><br /><em>"I'm leaving now."</em><br /><br />I know that after a long, hard day at work, it takes a tiny act of flirtatiousness to get him in a great mood for us at home. He is my hero and I'm glad to be his wife. Thank you for inspiring me to be my kids' mom and my husband's girlfriend.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Beth</div>
</div>
<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-08-30T17:59:00Z
You Are Stronger Than You Think
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Are-Stronger-Than-You-Think/-528779825836680130.html
2019-08-29T17:59:00Z
2019-08-29T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />In 2005, my daughter died unexpectedly. She was 15 years old. I had two other young teenage daughters at the time, and shortly after, my youngest was invited to attend a soccer camp in Norway with her team. The chaperones let me accompany the team, and while there, I arranged to get away, alone, for a few days on a horseback riding trip in the mountains of Norway.<br /><br /></div>
<div>I boarded a train in Oslo and was met at the destination stop and transported to the camp where four Norwegian women and a guide were waiting for me. I spent four glorious days sleeping in a Laplander tent on reindeer fur. Each night, after a dinner cooked over an open fire, we built a fire in our tent and communicated to the best of our ability. We rode the mountains on Norwegian Mountain horses during the day, and when it was time to leave, all of us cried as we said goodbye. Despite the language barrier, we had built a bond that we hold dear to this day. <br /><br /></div>
<div>When I look back at that trip, I am very proud of myself. I was in the throes of grief, and that trip helped me become a stronger and more resilient mother and wife. It was a challenge I successfully conquered, and it made me realize that I was stronger than I ever imagined I could be. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Dorothy</div>
<br /><br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-08-29T17:59:00Z
Learning To Be Strong
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-To-Be-Strong/-408568974213186946.html
2019-08-28T17:59:00Z
2019-08-28T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I'm 27 years old and just started listening to you last month. I'm extremely lucky to have had the privilege of finding you before I get married and have children. I've already absorbed much of the advice you have given, and I don't plan on wasting it. You're helping me learn how to be the type of person I've always wanted to be - strong, capable, loving, intelligent, brave and responsible. Being a good wife and mother is important to me, and I often think about the choices I would make as a parent. In just 22 days, I've learned ways to accomplish both of those goals. <br /><br /></div>
<div>I'm also excited to take your online course "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620/ref=sr_1_1?hvadid=77859220821051&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&hvqmt=e&keywords=the+proper+care+and+feeding+of+husbands&qid=1567183893&s=gateway&sr=8-1" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>" for when the time comes. I've already decided to gift the course to each of my friends when they get married. Thankfully, none of them has tied the knot yet, so I will be able to bless every one! Happy marriages for all (as long as they choose wisely)! <br /><br /></div>
<div>I'm so glad I found you. Someday, I might call in and ask for your advice, but the more I listen to your show, the more I'm able to think logically and handle situations on my own. Thank you for never retiring.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Liz</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-08-28T17:59:00Z
Real Men Do The Right Thing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Real-Men-Do-The-Right-Thing/-965033535083850772.html
2019-08-27T17:59:00Z
2019-08-27T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div><br />I am a judge for 4-H participants, and recently was serving as a judge about horses. Kids come in and interview with me, and I ask questions and evaluate them on their knowledge, their ability to communicate well and extemporaneous speaking. One girl mentioned her ex-stepfather kept their horses. Then her older sister told me that when their mother divorced their stepfather, the kids took HIS side. He takes them to all their horse shows, he helps them learn, he cares for the horses, and helps their younger brother get to events to ride. <br /><br /></div>
<div>We talked about how her mother wasn't really a mother, and this man was just doing what he had been doing before the divorce. I asked the girl to do me a favor and when she talked to him, tell him the 4-H judge said he was a real man. Real men take on a job because it's the right thing to do, and don't quit when the mother walks out. I told her I was sorry her mother chose not to love and mother them, but that this man was truly a hero in my book. I was impressed that he took on this mission to help these kids regardless of his own situation with their mother. There ARE some really good men out there doing the job of a dad because it needs to be done.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Marlena</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-08-27T17:59:00Z
Missing Memories
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Missing-Memories/313103063845818326.html
2019-08-26T17:59:00Z
2019-08-26T17:59:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>I was a nanny for five years before having my three boys. One of the families I worked for had a dad who was the CEO of a fast-food empire and made millions, but he insisted that his wife work. He had two teens with his first wife and a small child with the wife I knew. The money she made from working went to interior decorators and me. She worked from home, but seldom came out of her office, so she was essentially absent from her daughter all day. <br /><br /></div>
<div>People who came to the house often told me how much my "<em>daughter</em>" (her child) looked like me, and the day she crawled for the first time, Mommy was downstairs on the phone. I told her what had happened, but instead of being delighted, she reprimanded me for telling her. She was hurt she "<em>couldn't</em>" be there to see her child's first crawl and tried to guilt-trip me into feeling bad. When the little girl took her first steps, I didn't say a word, and Mommy didn't even see her walk for another week because she spent so little time with her. So, I'm the one with the lovely memories of this little girl, who I haven't seen in years, and her mother isn't. <br /><br /></div>
<div>I now have three children of my own, and I'm with them every single day so I can experience every milestone and create my own memories with them as they grow up.</div>
<div><br />Elyse</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-08-26T17:59:00Z
Seeing Through Infatuation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Seeing-Through-Infatuation/11346366327816678.html
2019-08-23T17:59:00Z
2019-08-23T17:59:00Z
<br />
<div>
<div>
<div>At 18, I was infatuated with a young man who was 24. He was all I thought about and I constantly tried to impress him. I probably would have followed him anywhere and done anything to get his approval and affection. However, he was not interested in me. At the same time, I was dating another young man who later became my husband.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Eventually, I learned the difference between infatuation and love, and I'm grateful my "<em>crush</em>" didn't want me. If you follow the path of infatuation, you will end up feeling used, abused and empty. Love leaves you feeling happy, cherished, and a better person because of it. I'm extraordinarily lucky that my boyfriend continued to date me while knowing full well of my infatuation with someone else. I even had the nerve to tell him that I would dump him if the other guy ever wanted me! That was the foolish 18-year-old me. I am forever grateful that I woke up and married the man who stuck with me through all my nonsense. I'm am thrilled to be his wife and best friend. We make each other better every day.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Twyla</div>
</div>
</div>
<br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-08-23T17:59:00Z
Thank You For The Reminder
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You-For-The-Reminder/950937223401637665.html
2019-08-22T17:59:00Z
2019-08-22T17:59:00Z
<br />
<div>
<div>I grew up listening to your program with my mother. So, when I got engaged seven years ago, I bought a copy of "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>" for myself! I try to read it annually leading up to our wedding anniversary, but the last three years, the tradition slacked a bit, because I had two babies two years apart. It's been busy and neither of my kids is fond of sleeping!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Still, I was properly caring and feeding for my husband (or so I thought) until I came to the "<em>What's Sex?</em>" chapter. An opening quote from a listener reads "<em>Sex is to a husband what conversation is to a wife.</em>" I read that phrase to my husband the other day while we had a quiet kids-free moment in the kitchen. He smiled, grabbed my toosh and said <em>"Well, let's get talkin'!</em>" Our life has been more "<em>smiley</em>" since. I am happier, and my husband's kisses are deeper like when we were dating (something I've missed). Thanks for reminding us wives that sex really is THAT important!<br /><br /></div>
<div>Shania</div>
</div>
<br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-08-22T17:59:00Z
You Remind Me Of My Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Remind-Me-Of-My-Mom/-956255734838929916.html
2019-08-21T17:59:00Z
2019-08-21T17:59:00Z
<br />
<div>You remind me of my mom with many of the things you say. She passed away five years ago, and I miss her terribly. She was a single mom for many years and taught my sister and I self-respect and class. Once I heard you talking about young women who don't have self-respect, and how they "<em>give it away for free.</em>" It reminded me of how my mom used to say the same thing! She would stay things like "<em>you are sexy with all your clothes on," and "it leaves more to the imagination when you don't have things hanging out!</em>" I wish every parent would teach these important life skills to their children.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Thank you for being brave every day and for telling people what they need to hear and not what they want to hear. My mother was brutally honest like you, and it was exactly what I needed to survive. I have respect for you both because you are strong women who also know how to be ladies. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Agatha</div>
<br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-08-21T17:59:00Z
Being A True Friend
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-A-True-Friend/-310167463793255380.html
2019-08-20T17:59:00Z
2019-08-20T17:59:00Z
<br />A friend of mine was asked to make 100 cupcakes for a wedding rehearsal dinner. She accepted but soon realized she was in over her head. She called me a month in advance to ask for my help, as I do specialty order cakes and cupcakes, so it wouldn't be a challenge for me. So, I agreed. The night before I was supposed to help her, she had a family emergency and asked if we could reschedule our cupcake decorating. I was grumpy, because I had specifically planned my day around this event, and really didn't want to do it on the new time schedule. <br /><br />I told her I'd call her back, hoping I could buy a few minutes to think up a good excuse. I happened to be on my computer and had your website up when an article on being a true friend caught my attention. That's when I had a "<em>what am I thinking</em>?" moment. My friend had asked me well in advance for help, and I'd agreed. She had an unavoidable emergency and I did not. I was ashamed of my self-centeredness and realized what a crank I was being just because I was tired. <br /><br />I called my friend and asked her to just bake the cupcakes. I went over her house the next night (full of caffeine) and we knocked out all the decorations while having a great time doing so. Thank you for helping me realize what being a true friend entails.<br /><br />Sara<br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-08-20T17:59:00Z
Dr. Laura Moments
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dr.-Laura-Moments/-746492328250994491.html
2019-08-19T17:59:00Z
2019-08-19T17:59:00Z
<br />Our three boys began a habit of not acknowledging their mother when she called for them. When she said things like "<em>Lunch is ready!</em>" or "<em>It's time for bed</em>," they would continue their activities as if no one had spoken a word. It wasn't until she repeated the request with anger or threat of consequences that they would begrudgingly respond.<br /><br />I kept quiet, unsure how best to respond effectively, but when the boys ignored her one more time during our family movie night, I could no longer hold my tongue. I quietly said, "<em>Boys, shut the TV off and come here, please</em>" in my best "<em>Dad-means-business</em>" tone. The TV popped off immediately and the boys gathered around me. I said to them "<em>When you don't respond to Mom when she calls you, you are sending her a message. Do you know what that message is?</em>" They shook their heads no. "<em>You are saying, 'Mom, I don't respect you.</em>" I let that sink in a moment and then told them "<em>I think she at least deserves the respect to hear you say it out loud. Look her in the eye and say 'Mom, I don't respect you!</em>" One son said, "<em>I can't say that!</em>" as he fought back tears. My wife had tears welling in her eyes too. The intensity of that moment was powerful. The boys saw up close that their passive neglect of Mom was hurtful to her. They were hurting her with the words of their actions, even if the action was to do nothing. Overwhelmed with shame, all three boys cried hard tears, each hugging Mom as if to say, "<em>can you ever forgive me?"</em> The lesson has not been forgotten to this day. Your program has equipped me with an instinct to create "<em>Dr. Laura</em>" moments like this one, which help shape our boys into men.<br /><br />John <br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-08-19T17:59:00Z
Learning The Ropes of Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-The-Ropes-of-Marriage/389673519780214841.html
2019-08-16T17:59:00Z
2019-08-16T17:59:00Z
<br />I'm a 26-year-old woman who got married last year. Recently, I've been reading your books "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>" (<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Marriage/dp/0061142824/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=89SM4A40VP1JM1BKKW7E" target="_blank">AND Marriage</a>), and "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Stupid-Things-Women-Their-Lives/dp/0060976497" target="_blank">Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess up Their Lives</a></em>". I absolutely love them.<br /><br />My husband and I are both very religious, and everything you say affirms our beliefs and values. I feel the same as you do about the permissiveness, moral relativism, nonjudgmentalism and general unwillingness to accept responsibility that we see everywhere these days. I agree with you that the importance of marriage between a man and a woman who have children and raise them together is being attacked. Before we got married, we agreed that we would take our marriage vows very seriously and commit wholeheartedly to each other. Thank you for never bending when people criticize you. We're grateful that someone like you is out there being a light in the middle of all the darkness and confusion. <br /><br />Meredith <br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-08-16T17:59:00Z
Family Bonding Made Easy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Family-Bonding-Made-Easy/714140037780609997.html
2019-08-15T17:59:00Z
2019-08-15T17:59:00Z
<br />I want to thank you for your "<em>Make Your House A Home</em>" ideas! It's because of you we now have Sunday "<em>show and tell</em>" nights and it brings the whole family together. We tell stories about our past and special things in our life. It helps our kids see their parents in a different light, and I even came out in my wedding dress one night for "<em>show and tell</em>." It was a hoot!<br /><br />Our son was in the ER today after he had a bad fall at the pool. As they were prepping him for stitches, he bragged to the doctor that he has "show and tell" with his parents and sister every Sunday, and there were only three more days until the next one!<br /><br />I appreciate you always giving us ideas on how to bond as a family and how to put family first.<br /><br />Kelly <br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-08-15T17:59:00Z
Helping Me To Make Positive Choices
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Helping-Me-To-Make-Positive-Choices/236141703448646785.html
2019-08-14T17:59:00Z
2019-08-14T17:59:00Z
<br />Thank you for helping me with my binge-eating problem. I've heard you say that doing the right thing often feels "<em>crappy</em>," and I can attest to that. I told the truth to my parents about my problem and how my dad's alcoholism affected my behavior. He and my mom were not helpful, and I was in a dark place for a few weeks. I decided to see a cognitive therapist and that helped tremendously, as did the support of my husband and his family. <br /><br />I've reconnected with my brother, with whom I was never really close. He and my dad didn't get along, so being "<em>Daddy's good little girl</em>," I followed suit. Our newly rekindled relationship is on a good path.<br /><br />I think of food differently now. I'm finding healthier ways to feel good, like knitting, cross-stitching and reading. I'm sure I'll always have to fight urges to binge, but I feel more in control now. I don't believe I would have made these positive choices in my life without you.<br /><br />Cammie <br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-08-14T17:59:00Z
Mother of the Year
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mother-of-the-Year/-546822348224086079.html
2019-08-13T17:59:00Z
2019-08-13T17:59:00Z
<br />I know it's not Mother's Day, but I have a nomination for "<em>Mother of the Year</em>" - my childhood neighbor, Mary. When Mary, her husband and their five boys moved in next door to my family, her home immediately became the gathering place for all 33 children who lived on our block. My mom worked all day and when she came home, she would often get drunk. I always felt good over at Mary's. She was a great cook and her home was always filled with the scent of freshly baked cookies and homemade fudge. There was never enough to eat at our house, because my mom would use the food money for booze, but I always knew there was something wonderful in the oven or on the table at Mary's home.<br /><br />Mary treated my sisters and me like daughters. She sewed clothes for us, took us out with her boys on picnics or to the local pool in summer. She played games with us and helped us with our homework. Even after her husband died, she never lost her smile, her hearty laugh, and I never once heard her complain. She's 90 years young now, and still actively volunteers several days a week in the gift shop of a local hospital. I often think how different I might have turned out had it not been for Mary and her unconditional love.<br /><br />Mary Anne <br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-08-13T17:59:00Z
Going Against the Grain
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Going-Against-the-Grain/-181028796927063580.html
2019-08-12T17:59:00Z
2019-08-12T17:59:00Z
<br />I am 27 years old and have been married for almost 3 years. My husband and I welcomed our first son three months ago. My husband and I often feel out of place in our generation of millennial snowflakes, but we wouldn't have it any other way. We are not snowflakes and will not be raising snowflurries.<br /><br />My last day of work was the day before our son was born, and I've been home with him every day since. We discussed plans for me to stay at home during our dating years, and we saved for when that day would come, making sacrifices along the way. Both of us were fortunate enough to have stay-at-home moms, and knew we wanted to provide the same stability, love and support to our children that our mothers provided to us. I worked in a charter school and my colleagues were very supportive of my decision not to return to work. <br /><br />Full-time motherhood is tiring. I'm still new at this, but it's so worth it. The smiles and coos, snuggles and milestones bring me such joy, while at the same time some sadness, knowing so many babies are in daycare and parents are missing out on those sweet moments. It's baffling to me how any parent can put a BABY in daycare, starting as young as six weeks old. Thank you for your support, and please know there are some of us millennials who have our heads on straight and are fighting the good fight beside you.<br /><br />Maddie <br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-08-12T17:59:00Z
Ignored By Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ignored-By-Mom/-607782393470089455.html
2019-08-09T17:59:00Z
2019-08-09T17:59:00Z
<br />I live in Silicon Valley and left a lucrative career in venture capital sixteen years ago when my oldest son was born. Being a daughter of two working parents and essentially raised by my grandmother and daycare, I wanted something different for MY children. My husband created a career for himself where he could succeed financially to keep me home full-time with our three children.<br /><br />I am surrounded by full-time working moms, who brag about their second homes, new cars, and fancy vacations. They complain about how exhausting motherhood is, how they don't get along with their husbands, how their careers come first and take all their time and energy. I've been able to find a few good, like-minded friends who have been my saving grace in an incredibly materialistic and career-focused area. I'm saddened when I see children I know spend long hours in daycare, only to go home to be ignored by their parents (if they even ARE home, since many often travel for work). Your program has helped me keep my sanity in this crazy world and I'll be forever grateful for your wisdom.<br /><br />Judi<br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-08-09T17:59:00Z
You Always Make Me Smile
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Always-Make-Me-Smile/377499083977262704.html
2019-08-08T17:59:00Z
2019-08-08T17:59:00Z
<br />I am halfway through my psychiatry residency and regularly load up your podcast on the way home from work. Not only do I take away great suggestions for interacting with my patients or thinking about their dilemmas, but I usually end up with a smile on my face. <br /><br />Recently, I had a particularly challenging day in terms of managing tough patient cases. I was feeling a bit down and was looking forward to listening to your show. I was halfway home when I heard you speaking about being polite to others. Then you mimicked having a ferocious, sneezy cold, and I just about lost it. I couldn't stop laughing, and the people in the car next to me must have thought I was having some sort of breakdown. Thank you for your wisdom, insight and directness when helping people sort through their problems but thank you also for being hilarious! <br /><br />Mickey<br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-08-08T17:59:00Z
At The Crossroads
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/At-The-Crossroads/-527632018852192798.html
2019-08-07T17:59:00Z
2019-08-07T17:59:00Z
<br />I married my wife after only a year of dating. Over the six years of our marriage, I realized she was very self-centered, and I felt very alone. I thought I'd be miserable until our son was up and out of the house. My wife knew I listened to you, but she didn't like how you talked to people. I thought she said that because you spoke the truth that she didn't want to hear. <br /><br />After several discussions about our marriage, she bought "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>," but didn't read it until we hit a crossroads that scared her. Last week, I was away on business, and when I got home, she met me at the door with a passionate kiss and hug. She told me she loved me and missed me. After dinner, she said she was sorry for the way she had been treating me. She couldn't believe I had stayed with her these six years, and said she appreciated all I had done for her and our family and she didn't deserve me. She thanked me for allowing her to stay home with our kids and said she had a breakthrough after reading your book. It's only been three days, but I can honestly say I don't recognize her (and that's a good thing!). She is caring, loving, and sweet. She kisses me, touches me on the arm, under the table with her feet and she can't get close enough to me at night. You are so right, Dr. Laura. We men are simple creatures and will move mountains for our wives if they simply do the few necessary things in life that we crave. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.<br /><br />Charles<br /> <br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-08-07T17:59:00Z
Life Lessons From Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Life-Lessons-From-Dr.-Laura/-691872750584231431.html
2019-08-06T17:59:00Z
2019-08-06T17:59:00Z
<br />Last year, I called you because I wanted the intimate setting of a beach wedding for my impending nuptials, but my fiancé said he couldn't imagine getting married anywhere without his family and friends present. You set me straight and told me not to be difficult before he even carried me over the threshold.<br /><br />I've listened to you since I could annoy my parents from the backseat of our car. I got your message about choosing wisely, and I put a lot of emphasis on finding a man with character and integrity who I could count on to do the right thing. On a beautiful Saturday last month, while waiting for my dad to come get me, I took a moment to look out over a backyard filled with 150 smiling faces of our closest family and friends, let alone one happy groom!<br /><br />We said our vows to each other, and I realized how many of the things I promised had echoed in my ears from your radio show. Things like "<em>always be his girlfriend</em>," support him in big decisions and let go of the little things. Communicate promptly and speak kindly to him. I promised to make our family's love and happiness my priority and to be his biggest fan. Thank you for talking some sense into me a year ago, because you led me to the decision which was my first gift to him as his wife - that was the gift of compromise. To put his needs and wants ahead of my own. And as we promised to spend our lives together, I got a gift as well. As I looked in his eyes, I knew I made him happy. What a great feeling and what a great lesson as we entered our marriage.<br /><br />Lots of hugs,<br /><br />Amber<br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-08-06T17:59:00Z
Little Minds Are Always Learning
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Little-Minds-Are-Always-Learning/-448006599534400000.html
2019-08-05T17:59:00Z
2019-08-05T17:59:00Z
<br />I recently heard a caller wishing you could meet everyone whose lives you've impacted. I am one of those people. I am a stay-at-home mom because of you. Because of you, I found the courage to give up my identity as a self-reliant hard worker and became someone who works even harder but without the paycheck. Thanks to you and my hardworking husband, I get to spend every day with two of the most wonderful little girls in the world. Every day, they amaze me. <br /><br />Just last night, my husband was reading them a bedtime story. He had hiccups, and my four-year-old told him to "<em>hold your breath and swallow three times, daddy!</em>" I was shocked, because that's the exact remedy I tell people, but I've never said it to her. When I asked her how she knew that, she said "<em>I heard you say it to someone once.</em>" It was such a small moment, but it filled my heart with joy. My girls are watching ME and learning from ME. They're little sponges, soaking up so much information, and getting to feel loved every minute of every day.<br /><br />Because of you, two little girls are not in daycare. You made a huge difference in my life and I am striving to always be the mommy and wife my family needs. Thank you for being such a devoted advocate for stay-at-home moms!<br /><br />Beryl <br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-08-05T17:59:00Z
Putting Your Words Into Action
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Putting-Your-Words-Into-Action/501614636785532603.html
2019-08-01T17:59:00Z
2019-08-01T17:59:00Z
<br />I made the best choice in a husband over 19 years ago and have never stopped treating him like my boyfriend. I just turned 40, and that day, I woke up to the following love letter:<br />
<blockquote><em>It seems like a very long time ago when we first met, but throughout the years, you have become more my friend and the person who I love with all my heart that much more. I wouldn't trade a second we have had together. You might think you are getting older, but really you are getting better as time goes by. I love everything about you. Every day that passes is a new adventure, and I have had the best days of my life living them with you. Without you, I couldn't be me. Happy birthday. I love you with everything I am.</em></blockquote>
This is the level of happiness a couple can achieve if they listen to your advice and put it into action. Your wisdom has led me to have a very happy marriage and two happy boys. I attribute our "<em>Beaver Cleaver</em>" type of family to listening to the wise words you've been saying for so many years. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.<br /><br />Jenni<br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-08-01T17:59:00Z
Between Now And Dead
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Between-Now-And-Dead/-397565910805048258.html
2019-07-31T17:59:00Z
2019-07-31T17:59:00Z
<br />I lost my husband three years ago. At that time, I thought my world had ended, but I had a very supportive family and a few good friends to help. I really broke down six months after he died and went to see a grief counselor, who reminded me that grief is a feeling and it will rear its ugly head without any warning. Then, while listening to your program, I heard you ask the question "<em>between now and dead, where do you want to be and what is going to make you happy?</em>" <br /><br />That got me thinking. I wanted to be closer to my family, so a year later, I sold our home of 20 years and bought 5 acres of land and built my dream home within 15 minutes of my children and grandchildren. I've also started traveling, both domestically and internationally. <br /><br />If I would never have heard you use that phrase "<em>between now and dead...</em>" I'm not sure I would be where I am today. I still check in with my grief counselor, and when I told him about your phrase, he loved it. Thank you, Dr. Laura for getting me to think about the future, because now I'm happy and content with my new life.<br /><br />Sandra <br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-07-31T17:59:00Z
The Difference Between Daycare and Staying at Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Difference-Between-Daycare-and-Staying-at-Home/75096012900855270.html
2019-07-30T18:01:00Z
2019-07-30T18:01:00Z
<br />I am a nanny. No matter how much my employer thinks I love her kids, I don't. I care for them, and I am very nice to them, but if I don't get paid, I'm gone. The last mom I worked for left the house in the morning and came home in time to kiss the kids goodnight. I worked many weekends, so she and her husband could have alone time together. That was good for my paycheck, but not so good for the kids.<br /><br />How sad to see so many of our children being brought up this way. I stayed home with my kids and I can definitely see the difference between my children, who are all in successful happy marriages and raising their own kids, and my charges who cry every time their mother leaves, who act wildly when she IS home, and who are clingy, unhappy children. <br /><br />Serafina <br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-07-30T18:01:00Z
Our Simple Family Rule
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-Simple-Family-Rule/514702711973336511.html
2019-07-29T17:59:00Z
2019-07-29T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Every time I hear you say, "<em>choose wisely; treat kindly,</em>" I smile. My mom's version of the same advice as I was growing up was "<em>Choose your love; love your choice.</em>" I'm happy to say I took her advice. <br /><br />Even when I went away to college, I stuck to our simple family rule that if a guy wanted to date me, he had to ask my father's permission. This automatically eliminated 90% of the boys who were jerks or cowards. After getting to know me for a few weeks around campus at various activities, my now-husband asked me out for Valentine's Day dinner on a real date, and he called my dad for permission to do that. "<em>Sure!</em>" my Dad replied. "<em>Make reservations for four and we'll meet you there at 7:30!</em>" So, our first real date was with my parents. My dad had a man-to-man talk with my date about what it meant and didn't mean to date me, and my now-husband proved his character in the way he handled that first serious conversation. <br /><br />We're celebrating ten years of marriage, five children and I have a man I am proud to love and trust and call the father of my children. He respected me, valued me, and earned my love. He is a man of honor, integrity, responsibility and worthy of the utmost admiration and respect. I chose my love well and wisely, and now I love my choice well by treating him kindly. Thank you for encouraging women to be picky, and I'll keep smiling each time you remind me of my own mom.<br /><br />Angela<br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-07-29T17:59:00Z
A World Of Lazy Parenting
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-World-Of-Lazy-Parenting/-734514162820222190.html
2019-07-26T17:59:00Z
2019-07-26T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Our six children are grown and gone and most of them live at least six hours from us. The years they were home were a roller coaster of us being broke, my being pregnant, and us being the "<em>uncool</em>" parents. Our children did not have stylish shoes, clothes or money in their pockets. They ate what I cooked, and we made them go to church and Sunday school. If they got into trouble at school, they prayed that we did not find out, as there was no question whose "<em>side</em>" we would be on. Mostly, our offspring stayed out of trouble. Because we live in a very small town, they were able to participate in dance, sports, band, scouts and youth groups. After they all started school, I worked as the school secretary for 23 years, so I had the same time off they did. <br /><br />During those years, I heard every excuse from parents for their child's misbehavior: "<em>She had to be late to class because her boyfriend broke up with her,</em>" or "<em>Yes, he did have my permission to miss school yesterday. Yes, that is my signature</em>," or "<em>My daughter would never have talked back to that teacher if he hadn't given her an F on the test</em>." It went on and on. My conclusion is that many parents would rather face down a teacher, principal, child's boss or another parent than face down their own child! They are afraid of them - afraid they won't be considered the cool parents or their best buddies. In our family, we were too busy working towards feeding, clothing and sheltering them. We didn't have room for all the other drama! Thank you, Dr. Laura for being a voice of reason in a world in which parents are too lazy to be consistent or too afraid to risk being unpopular with their kids.<br /><br />Tori <br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-07-26T17:59:00Z
The Reality of Being a Stepparent
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Reality-of-Being-a-Stepparent/-673636777436420648.html
2019-07-25T17:59:00Z
2019-07-25T17:59:00Z
<br />I'm a recent listener of just a few months, but I've picked up a great deal of wisdom from listening to you already. I'm 45 years old, in a second marriage (it's my first, but my husband's second). He has two kids. We've been married for 14 years, and I believe we'll survive the sad statistic of the 70% who have failed in second marriages. However, I am in full agreement with your warning about second marriages, and your message to focus on your own kids until they're 18 and out. My husband's kids were 4 and 8 when we first met; his wife was an alcoholic and neglected them. <br /><br />When we married, I'd always insist the discipline was his to do, but I provided the best parental love and attention I could give. Their mother eventually got help and came back into the picture. I stepped back, because it was tumultuous trying to be there for them without invoking loyalty issues over their mom. I made the decision not to bring a baby into this situation, since it would be unfair to any child we would create. <br /><br />Thank you for your reminders that stepparents have no rights, no say, and no power because no good comes from having an opinion in this situation. It doesn't matter. I love my husband (a good man and provider), but even he had to accept that we could not be the family he'd hoped for. The kids are in college now, but if I were to go back and talk to a younger me, I'd tell her that she had no idea what she was getting into, and to walk away to find a man without kids and a hateful ex-wife. <br /><br />Darya <br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-07-25T17:59:00Z
Why You Should Consider Home Schooling
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-You-Should-Consider-Home-Schooling/-695548701710396036.html
2019-07-24T17:59:00Z
2019-07-24T17:59:00Z
<br />I am an educator who has taught elementary school for the last 13 years. I've enjoyed teaching up until the last few years, when our government started mandating the "<em>one size fits all</em>" mentality in education. Those in states with more money may see things differently, but in my neck of the woods, I've seen our state and district "<em>dumb</em>" kids down and expect less of students so that they can say - "<em>Wow! Look how smart our kids are! They're all around the 70% average mark!</em>" I found this past year that even though my own kids were in school for 6-7 hours per day, I still supplemented with my own time, money, and resources to make sure that they were up to level, challenged and successful in school.<br /><br />It seems that schools do not have children's best interests at heart anymore. My 14-year-old son had the option of taking a diesel mechanics class to learn a trade for after high school, because mechanics is huge where we live. Schools are required to pay tuition if the student opts to learn a skill like this. But during an appointment with the counselor, we were bullied in attempts to get him to take something else that would be easier on the school's pocketbook. Once the counselor found out that I was an educator and knew all the options available, he backed down. I wondered if other parents and teachers were treated in the same manner - as though I didn't know what was in the best interests of my child. <br /><br />That's why, even as an educator, I am now a strong advocate for homeschooling for anyone able to consider it as an option for their family. <br /><br />A Teacher<br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-07-24T17:59:00Z
The Secret to Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Secret-to-Marriage/-409709857235773955.html
2019-07-23T17:59:00Z
2019-07-23T17:59:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm re-watching your <a href="https://www.marriage101.com/?gclid=CjwKCAjw4NrpBRBsEiwAUcLcDId42EVxKaUh1d_hRfSaQiy8AeJbrZQkI8n_J933Xo8GcW70lKAr3BoCE8MQAvD_BwE" target="_blank">Marriage 101.com</a> video course almost a year after I watched it the first time. I am married to a really good man. We have a good friendship, good love life, and we've raised our three sons together with a lot of fun too. <br /><br />I decided to re-watch your course as a mini-refresher, so I could KEEP things going so well. You are so right about how husbands who feel loved and respected will swim through shark-infested waters for you. Thank you, too, for reminding me to do the little things daily, like make the coffee, and smile and kiss him when he walks in the door.<br /><br />I tell my girlfriends that I have found the secret to marriage - the three "<em>S's</em>" - Sex, Socks, and Supper! It's our joke, but I find it to be true. SEX - have it often, stay attractive and be playful. SOCKS - have clean socks for him and make sure basic household chores are done - keep the house tidy at all times. And SUPPER - just feed him daily. All of this is sprinkled with love and laughter throughout. <br /><br />Tara<br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-07-23T17:59:00Z
Dr. Laura On The Brain
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dr.-Laura-On-The-Brain/-447310480068153054.html
2019-07-22T17:59:00Z
2019-07-22T17:59:00Z
<br />I just listened to the hour you did on "<em>visualization</em>" stories, and I wanted to chime in with mine! Last summer, my husband and I took a trip west to attend a music festival. While we were at the event, an older couple in front of us kept turning around and staring at us. They weren't staring in an aggressive way, but it was a little unsettling to both of us. Eventually, the gentleman said they were sorry for staring at me so much, but that I looked amazingly like a family member they lost recently. From the way he spoke, and the fact that his wife was crying, I assumed it was their daughter who had passed away. <br /><br />Because they were so emotional when talking with us, I said something like "<em>I hope the resemblance brings back fond memories for you both.</em>" Right after that, my husband said "<em>Wow - that could have been such an uncomfortable moment. How did you think so quickly to say something that soothed and comforted them?</em>" My answer? "<em>It was Dr. Laura in my head!</em>" In that moment, I honestly "<em>heard</em>" a call of yours playing in my mind, and I tried as best I could to repeat what I heard you say to the caller. Even after we walked away, I knew it was YOUR voice helping me, and hopefully helping a grieving family. You never know which call a listener hears that will help them at that time or in the future. Thank you from a second-generation listener, and as a fitness business owner, I want to be sure to tell you that your workouts on Instagram rock!!<br /><br />Joanie <br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-07-22T17:59:00Z
Just Do It
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Just-Do-It/-320259813303883958.html
2019-07-19T17:59:00Z
2019-07-19T17:59:00Z
<br />Being a stay-at-home mom was the greatest decision my husband and I have ever made. We were just shy of 30 years old when our son was born. We'd been married for five years by then. While I was a stay-at-home mom, we lived in an 800 square foot house and had one car. We did without lots of stuff. <br /><br />When our son was a senior in high school, I took a part-time job - school hours only - which has since turned into my current full-time job. Our son had twelve years of private school education. Was money tight? You better believe it, but we still managed one vacation a year. My husband didn't have a high-paying job either, but we managed to make it. To parents today, I say "<em>just do it.</em>" You can. You don't need half the stuff you have - sell it, downsize, and make time for your children.<br /><br />Our son is now 35 and he still thanks me and his dad for providing him with a loving, nurturing home with a mom who was THERE for him every day. He's married now, but they have no children yet because he says he wants his children to have the same experience he did with an at-home mom. I'm still my husband's girlfriend and he's the best boyfriend ever, going into 41 years of marriage. Thanks for your good sound advice. So many times, I want to bonk a caller of yours over the head, which is why I don't need your job. Jail would not be far behind! <br /><br />Callie<br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-07-19T17:59:00Z
Parenting Win
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parenting-Win/148810463077234820.html
2019-07-18T17:59:00Z
2019-07-18T17:59:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I thought of a clever way to teach my child to respond to someone who gives him a gift, but not in person. My son often received gifts or checks by mail, as we didn't live close to other family members. When he received anything, the rule was he could not play with the gift or cash the check until he either thanked the giver by phone, or when old enough, wrote them a thank you note. <br /><br />It worked well for us, even when he was young. Now that he's an adult, he's still thoughtful, and always calls or writes notes right away after receiving gifts!<br /><br />Katy <br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-07-18T17:59:00Z
Teachable Moments
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teachable-Moments/-343922452924880671.html
2019-07-17T17:59:00Z
2019-07-17T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Our son really wanted a game for his system. I took him shopping to buy it, but it was outside our budget, so we decided to wait. When going back to our car, we saw two game cartridges wedged under our right front tire. If I had backed up, I would have crushed them. My son said "<em>wow, we got two free games!</em>" but I said that they weren't ours to keep and we needed to give them to the store. He was disappointed, but we went back to see the manager. She asked us to meet with her Security Manager to describe where we found them. They took our name and phone number. My son learned that we couldn't take things that weren't ours and that to take them was equivalent to stealing them.<br /><br />Four months later, the store manager called me and asked my son and me to come by. When we arrived, she gave us the two games. They had researched their inventory and they were not short any games from theft. Their store policy was to give the returned property (if it wasn't claimed within four months) to the Good Samaritan who had turned it in. So, my son got the games for the right reason, and he gave the second game to a friend whose family was struggling. We always look for teachable moments and that was yet another one -- about giving to others. <br /><br />Gerard <br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-07-17T17:59:00Z
Dramatically Changing Our Relationship
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dramatically-Changing-Our-Relationship/-108091731071574517.html
2019-07-16T17:59:00Z
2019-07-16T17:59:00Z
<br />Your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>" helped me stay married and we're celebrating our 46th anniversary this year. At first, I started letting my husband be the "<em>man</em>." I did little things, like ask him to open jars, get things from high shelves and generally help me with other things I could do myself. The other thing I did was greet him when he came home. I'd get up from whatever I was doing and meet him at the door with a big intimate kiss that let him know I was his woman and I was glad he was home. <br /><br />Just doing these few things dramatically changed our relationship. I felt like he put me on a pedestal and treated me like his queen, which is what I always wanted, but (due to the feminist movement) thought that I had to fight with him in order to get on that pedestal.<br />Finally, I stopped withholding sex as a form of punishment. I remember your saying that sex was a stress reliever for women too, so I changed my thinking about it. We have a great sex life, but I'm still ashamed about holding out on the one thing that would have healed our bond sooner. <br /><br />We are one of the fortunate couples who beat the odds. We chose each other wisely, and now we always treat each other kindly.<br /><br />Patti <br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-07-16T17:59:00Z
Life Was No Longer About Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Life-Was-No-Longer-About-Me/-877198591063556790.html
2019-07-15T17:59:00Z
2019-07-15T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />When I got married 25 years ago, I had a life plan that I'd be a career woman like my mother and her mother and my mother-in-law and then I'd also be a mom. At that time, brand-name clothes were symbols of status, and if both parents worked full-time, you could have more. Then at the age of 29, we had a baby girl. I remember looking down at her, getting all choked up and thinking "<em>.</em>" In that moment, I realized that life was no longer about me, but this tiny human being is depending on me to be her mom about her. Her needs would come before my own, while I would learn to serve and take the back seat. I knew that raising my daughter had to be a top priority, even though I heard disparaging remarks from my friends.<br /><br />I got confirmation of this when my daughter was two. I happened upon your radio broadcast. I hadn't heard you on the air before, and you were explaining your stance on parenting. When I heard you say, "<em>I am my kid's mom</em>," I realized that is wasn't just a few of us making parenting a priority. You were there proclaiming the truth to the masses - that parenting takes sacrifice, and sacrifice is hard work, and the hard work of parenting is priceless. My daughter is grown now, and I have no regrets and a treasure trove of precious parenting memories. Thank you for being that voice of clarity that I so needed to hear at the time.<br /><br />Rebecca<br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-07-15T17:59:00Z
Moving Out Of My Comfort Zone
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Moving-Out-Of-My-Comfort-Zone/-495341042905546334.html
2019-07-12T17:59:00Z
2019-07-12T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />After my youngest kids were out of the house, I was 20 years out of the workforce and in my early 50's with not much of a resume. I took several "<em>go nowhere</em>" jobs sitting in an office staring at a computer screen. They were not for me. <br /><br />However, I loved to drive (and I remembered your mantra about what you wanted to do between now and dead), and I noticed a "<em>hiring</em>" sign at a local propane delivery company. I had zero experience in this field, but I submitted an application. I was shocked when I was called for an interview. The manager said, "<em>You don't look like a truck driver,</em>" and I responded "<em>Well, let me go home and change. I'll be right back</em>!" That broke the ice, and the interview went flawlessly. I couldn't believe it when I was hired. I was the first woman driver ever for this company.<br /><br />After eight weeks of intensive training, I was given my own truck, and I now spend my days tooling about the countryside, playing "<em>Where's Waldo</em>" in my search for the next propane tank on my route. I get a ton of exercise on this job, so I've lost 20 pounds too! I also get to listen to you every day as I'm out and about in the beautiful countryside. I'm choosing to be graceful as I age (large sunglasses do help!). I'm grateful to you, Dr. Laura, for chirping in my ear, giving me the encouragement to try something new "<em>between now and dead.</em>"<br /><br />Penelope <br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-07-12T17:59:00Z
Searching For Mr. Right
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Searching-For-Mr.-Right/352719700069125992.html
2019-07-11T17:59:00Z
2019-07-11T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am very traditional and was lucky to grow up in a household where my parents have been married for thirty years and are still in love. I always wanted what they have.<br /><br />I was an art student and went to a school where feminism was a "<em>thing</em>" and many women tried to convince me not to marry! When I was 21, I met a guy who shared common interests with me and who wanted to have a future together. Many of my friends thought I should date many other men and not "<em>settle,</em>" but I dated that nice guy for four years. We've now been married for two years, and we are very happy. <br /><br />Now many of those friends are trying online dating or desperately looking for someone soon because they are approaching 30 years of age. They're all beautiful and have had offers to date nice guys, but they keep searching for their "<em>Mr. Right</em>" without realizing he could be right in front of them. Maybe I got lucky at a young age, but my advice is to go for those nice guys, because one day they will all be taken!<br /><br />Sierra<br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-07-11T17:59:00Z
Family Riches
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Family-Riches/-948997356468365744.html
2019-07-10T17:59:00Z
2019-07-10T17:59:00Z
<br />I have lots of thank yous to pass along:<br /><br /><ol>
<li>About 8 years ago, after listening to you for a while, I realized I was being a bad wife - routines and being in a rut had left me neglecting my husband. It took 15 minutes to turn it around one evening, and now I wake up every day thinking "<em>what can I do to make his life worth living?</em>"</li>
<br />
<li>As we are Catholics, before marriage we were required to do six months of pre-marital counseling, so we were completely on the same page beforehand, and we've been married for 21 years. Thank you for showing us how important it is to have those discussions BEFORE you walk down the aisle.</li>
<br />
<li>Thank you for helping me during a time I had a rough series of health challenges. "<em>You need a plan of action</em>" kept ringing in my head and I stopped smoking and started an exercise plan. </li>
<br />
<li>Thank you for reminding me to always expect the best from my children, but to not demand perfection.</li>
<br />
<li>Thank you for helping me realize I needed something fulfilling in my life as my kids required less hands-on "<em>mommying</em>" as they got older. I'm heavily involved with an amazing charity that helps the poor.</li>
</ol><br />My family doesn't have a lot of luxuries, but we have home-cooked meals every night and we're all there at dinner to share our day and have lively discussions. I am rich beyond my dreams and often wonder how I deserve all that I have. The little voice inside my head encouraging me and supporting me is you! <br /><br />Cora <br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-07-10T17:59:00Z
Family Tradition
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Family-Tradition/-221030009587952434.html
2019-07-09T17:59:00Z
2019-07-09T17:59:00Z
<br />I'm 25 years old and a teacher. My mother was a stay-at-home mom, as was her mom. As a child, because I didn't know differently, I thought ALL moms stayed home with their kids, and I would do the same when I grew up. It was only as I grew older that I realized a lot of women work right after they give birth and put their children in a stranger's hands at as little as six weeks old. <br /><br />I've seen the effects of this type of parenting in my classroom. The kids are argumentative, have little to no manners, constantly fight and say mean things to one another and adults without even thinking. My fiancé and I listen to you all the time (at first, he thought you were old-fashioned!). He was raised in daycare, and that's why he thought you were too conservative for his tastes. However, listening to you sparked discussions we might never have had otherwise. He now understands my plan to stay home with our kids and is fully supportive of that choice. <br /><br />Raising kids is hard work. I know this from watching my own mother, but I have the courage now, because of you, to defend my choice to stay home when I do have kids. Whenever I have doubts, I always reflect on the strong connection that I had with MY mother, which will stay with me forever.<br /><br />Kerry <br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-07-09T17:59:00Z
Changing My Marriage Overnight
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-My-Marriage-Overnight/-886043631926460034.html
2019-07-08T17:59:00Z
2019-07-08T17:59:00Z
<br />I was a feminist and a product of divorce where I was told a man wasn't needed! However, I am happily married for over six years to my husband, who slays dragons every day.<br /><br />Recently, I could tell things were "<em>off</em>" in our marriage, so I reread the first chapter of "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>" when he wasn't around and took notes. I thought "<em>what can I do today that will make this marriage peaceful and my husband happy that he married me?</em>" I thought I was creating harmony, but I wasn't trying hard enough. Feminists dismiss this kind of work as unnecessary, saying women shouldn't have to do "<em>XYZ</em>" to keep a man.<br /><br />My husband is neat and wished that I would keep our home neat and clean, so #1 on my new list was "<em>Keep our home tidy</em>." I put away the dishes, cleaned up the cat food and was on top of the laundry. Second, he suggested that he wanted me to initiate sex more. So, I lost some weight to be more confident and began to initiate romance more. Third, I knew I had to communicate better with him, and learn to be okay with the fear of being vulnerable. Once I implemented these things, my marriage literally changed for the better in one day. You're right - women do have the power in a relationship and once you accept that it's okay to care for and feed your husband and that marriage IS important, you're both happier. It's made all the difference in the world. Thank you, Dr. Laura! <br /><br />Maya <br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-07-08T17:59:00Z
Music Makes The Difference
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Music-Makes-The-Difference/777285520911680582.html
2019-07-03T17:59:00Z
2019-07-03T17:59:00Z
<br />I want to thank you for one of the suggestions I heard you give on your program. You said if you're depressed, load up your iPod with happy songs and it will lift your spirits. I've been married for forty years, and we moved away from our lifetime hometown twelve years ago for my husband's new job. Since then, I have missed family and friends terribly. I've also had serious health issues for several years, and my mother recently passed away. I'm usually a positive, upbeat person, but all this finally got me down. I took a long look at my life and realized I had been through tough times and determined that I would get back on track.<br /><br />That's when the idea of putting some of my favorite songs on an iPod sounded just like what I needed. While all is not cured, I have so much to be thankful for, and listening to upbeat music has helped a great deal. While I've never called in with a dilemma, I've listened to you for years, and hearing your comments to others has obviously helped me too. Thank you for helping me find joy in all that positive music.<br /><br />Juliet <br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-07-03T17:59:00Z
Morals & Ethics
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Morals--Ethics/142686838640604380.html
2019-07-02T17:59:00Z
2019-07-02T17:59:00Z
<br />I spent the first 40 years of my life selfishly, living only for career success and material gain. I had no understanding at all of relationships, and I had no desire to be a mom. When I got pregnant, I thought nothing of aborting. It was "<em>inconvenient.</em>" I treated men as if they existed to serve me and my agenda. Then, about 20 years ago, I stumbled onto your radio program. I thought you were smart, but nuts! But I couldn't stop listening. <br /><br />Slowly but surely, you altered my brain chemistry completely. For the first time in my life, I grasped what morals and ethics were, and I wanted to have them! I began to understand my own responsibility to do the right thing. Suddenly, I wanted a good man and a baby. I wanted to live for someone else, but it was very late in the game. The brilliant career I had built no longer seemed important, and the great accomplishments fell flat. <br /><br />An old college boyfriend reached out, and we reconnected. I realized what a good man I had callously thrown away years ago. I realized that producing a baby myself was not a good plan, so we married and later adopted a baby boy at birth. I became a stay-at-home mom and while it was uncomfortable at first, you were there to always guide me. Now my baby boy is 15 years old, and I get to say, "<em>I am my kid's mom and my husband's girlfriend!"</em> My life was a train wreck until I found you, Dr. Laura. I thank you every day for your clarity, guidance and wisdom. <br />Nadia <br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-07-02T17:59:00Z
Little Reminders
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Little-Reminders/321849222702395838.html
2019-07-01T18:59:00Z
2019-07-01T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />You helped me through the teenage years with my three children. I never forgot that your mantra at that time was "<em>I am my kid's mom</em>," and I'm thrilled to have recently discovered you again on SiriusXM. <br /><br />My husband was talking about sending me flowers because I'm such a great wife. I laughed and told him to thank YOU, Dr. Laura, because you reminded me that I need to be his girlfriend. He thought that was great and said "<em>Well, maybe I should send the flowers to Dr. Laura instead!</em>" We both appreciate your reminders to be our spouse's girlfriend or boyfriend. And I can't tell you how many times I hear your voice in my head telling me to "<em>do the right thing!</em>"<br /><br />Thank you.<br /><br />Jeanne <br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-07-01T18:59:00Z
We Are Always In This Together
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Are-Always-In-This-Together/941776124014270560.html
2019-06-28T17:59:00Z
2019-06-28T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When we were first married, someone told me it was important to point out things that bothered me about my new husband right away, to not let things fester and then become bigger issues. I shared this with my wise husband, and his response was this: "<em>It's going to be a really long, unhappy marriage if we are going to focus on the negative. I prefer that we accept the fact that neither one of us is perfect, and we are going to do things that might irritate the other. What if we focused on the positive? I bet the little annoyances will fade over time. I would rather focus on all the qualities that we love about each other and live happily ever after.</em>"<br /><br />Here we are 25 years later, and he was so right. I adore him and feel loved every day of my life. We approach every day knowing that the other person is putting in their best effort. He is more supportive than I could have ever imagined, not just as a husband, but as the father of our two children, one of whom has significant multiple disabilities. I think I got bad advice at the beginning. We live by the idea that we are always in this together. Now we look forward to sending our younger son to college knowing that he was raised in a home where two people respect, encourage, and love each other deeply.<br /><br />Janet<br /> <br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-06-28T17:59:00Z
No Regrets
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-Regrets/-342130634340681900.html
2019-06-27T17:59:00Z
2019-06-27T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Today at the salon, a woman who has a one year old and is a teacher was asked who was watching the baby, since it was already summer break from school, and she wasn't working. The woman answered flippantly, "<em>Oh, she's at day care, of course! If I took her out during the summer, we would lose that spot!</em>" I was shocked and more than a little sad and angry to realize that not only does this baby spend nine to twelve hours a day at day care during the school year, but also during the summer while her mom is not working!<br /><br />I am a mom to two teenage boys, and I left the corporate world almost seventeen years ago. My husband and I were married ten years before our first was born, giving us ample time to work crazy hours, take fantastic trips, spend money on frivolous things and just generally have fun being young and childless. When we went from to incomes to one, money was a little tight, but I have never regretted quitting a job where they replaced me "<em>like that</em>" to raise our sons. There have been many times over the years that my husband and I have thanked each other for the privilege of living our roles of husband and wife, dad and mom to the best of our abilities. The satisfaction of spending every day with our sons and watching them go from little boys who always knew mommy was there to respectful, funny, kind-hearted young men who STILL know mommy is there is something I can and will be proud of for the rest of my life. No job on earth could ever give me this joy. Thank you for fighting the good fight!<br /><br />Katherine <br /> <br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-06-27T17:59:00Z
How To Keep Your Husband Happy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-To-Keep-Your-Husband-Happy/-453045710629842200.html
2019-06-26T17:59:00Z
2019-06-26T17:59:00Z
<br />A while ago, I heard you ask how we keep our husbands happy, and I thought I'd throw in my two cents! I love my marriage as much as my husband. Neither of us toys around with anything that could lead us astray. I do the kind and loving things you talk about on the air. I also refrain from things you have said push men away. And then I trust in everything he does. I trust that every decision he makes or information he gives me is from decades of wisdom and a life of goodness. <br /><br />After all the groundwork above is set, there are a million other things we do to make us happy. We play and we laugh. We turn almost everything we do into an adventure. Simply keeping a neat and tidy home makes him happy. I rub his feet when we watch the romantic comedies that I love. I listen to one of his stories for the thousandth time and respond to it as if it's the first time I've heard it. I watch his beloved football games with him. I act like a lady in public, as there's enough crass and loud behavior all around.<br /><br />While this is a jumble of thoughts, if the foundation is there, two people can have a magnificent marriage. If it's not there, nothing will make that marriage strong. <br /><br />Kari<br /> <br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-06-26T17:59:00Z
I Was Perfect, Until I Realized That I Wasn't
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Was-Perfect,-Until-I-Realized-That-I-Wasnt/-738507120945769409.html
2019-06-25T17:59:00Z
2019-06-25T17:59:00Z
<br />I love when you read letters from people who have realized the error in their thinking, take corrective measures and have a true turnaround that made their lives better. I used to feel like I was the "<em>perfect</em>" one in our marriage, and he was the one messing everything up. I even threatened divorce!<br /><br />Imagine my surprise when it finally dawned on me that I was the one causing the problems. I wanted to control my smart and strong husband. He stayed with me, but even though he was physically here, he "<em>stayed away</em>" from me, which I found annoying. I listened to you and started to change myself and that has transformed my marriage and my life. We've been together 18 years, and last year has been the best year of our entire relationship. It's like the beginning all over again. <br /> <br />I want your listeners to realize that you can't have intimacy if you're trying to control your husband. My three children are now more relaxed and carefree, and I love that they can feel the good vibes in our home. I feel joy daily and I am a calmer mommy and a fun wife. Thank you!<br /><br />Rory <br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-06-25T17:59:00Z
He Shows Me What Love Is Daily
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Shows-Me-What-Love-Is-Daily/-931127978084215464.html
2019-06-24T17:59:00Z
2019-06-24T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I live halfway across the country from my parents. Lately, they've been experiencing several health problems, and some things around their house need to be fixed or repaired. A few weeks ago, my mom was diagnosed with macular degeneration which likely will lead to blindness in a few years. I considered flying out to visit them for a few days, but the flights were all expensive and our family is on a budget.<br /><br />Today, my husband told me that he had booked not one, but TWO flights for us to go visit them in a few weeks. Immediately, I was overcome with emotion, realizing that my husband had made the kind of decision that a MAN would make. He lovingly encouraged my relationship with my parents, and he also will be devoting time to fixing whatever needs to be fixed around their house. When I hugged him with my eyes full of tears, he replied with a simple "<em>You're welcome, sweetie</em>."<br /><br />He's not the kind of man who does things for praise; he's the kind of man who does this for our family because they are the right and loving things to do. My husband shows me every day what love is. <br /><br />With deepest gratitude,<br /><br />Dora <br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-06-24T17:59:00Z
Becoming A Stay At Home Mommy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Becoming-A-Stay-At-Home-Mommy/-17185698454924247.html
2019-06-11T17:59:00Z
2019-06-11T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I am an Orthodox Jewish mother of six who has been married almost 25 years. I started listening to you when I was first married. I had my first two children while I was still in college, and I "<em>decelerated</em>" my academic program so I could be home more with my kids. When I graduated, I worked part-time and didn't realize that I even had the option of staying home with my children until after listening to you talk about it so often.<br /><br />Surprisingly, I encountered the most objections from my mother, who had been a stay-at-home mom to me and my two brothers. She was very concerned about my career. My husband also was not very enthusiastic about the loss of income if I stayed home. Our compromise was for me to work Sundays when my husband was home with the kids.<br /><br />I was a stay-at-home mom for children 3 through 6, and my only regret is that I wasn't there as much for my first two children. I cherish all the time I was able to spend with them, and I encourage others to stay at home and raise their kids too. My daughter is now of marriage-age and has made it very clear that she will only marry someone who will support her being a stay-at-home mom. What nachas!! <br /><br />Thank you for sticking up for values and morality. I take it as a wonderful compliment when friends tell me that I am their "<em>Dr. Laura.</em>"<br /><br />Rebecca <br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-06-11T17:59:00Z
Lucky in Love and Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lucky-in-Love-and-Family/345392835213909473.html
2019-06-10T17:59:00Z
2019-06-10T17:59:00Z
<br />When I was in my twenties, my mom never understood why I couldn't pick a man to marry. What she should have asked me was why couldn't I pick a FAMILY to marry? My husband and I were friends for several months when he asked a group of us over to his parents' house for a Fourth of July celebration. We all expected to have a great time at the beach and barbecuing, but what I didn't expect was that I would leave that day knowing exactly who I was going to marry.<br /><br />That day, I saw my friend interact with his family and watched him hose his family's huge celebration. He made sure we were all comfortable and always made sure we had enough food and drink, all while being himself around his family. After seeing how he treated and interacted with his family, I just knew I was meant to be a part of it. That very night, I broke up with my then-current boyfriend, hoping my party-hosting friend and I would become more than just friends.<br /><br />It took four years, but today, we're married with a one-year-old son and another due in a few weeks. Every time we have family or friends over, I'm reminded why I married him. Every night when he helps me with the dishes, I'm reminded why I married him. And every Sunday, when we spend our day with the extended family, I am reminded I married all of them, and it makes us complete. I found a great man who came from a great family.<br /><br />Lucky in Love and Family <br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-06-10T17:59:00Z
Necessities That Money Cannot Buy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Necessities-That-Money-Cannot-Buy/-987140305891560846.html
2019-06-07T17:59:00Z
2019-06-07T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When my children were little, you reassured me that my status as a full-time mom was not due to laziness, privilege or lack of ability to get a "<em>paying</em>" job. <br /><br />During those years, we struggled and budgeted to get by on one income. We raised six children. We went to the dollar matinee instead of first-run movie theatres. We didn't take a vacation every summer, but we loved to lay outside at night on pillows and blankets looking at the stars.<br /><br />One year, our almost 17-year-old son was killed in a car accident. I was stricken with grief and pain. I heard about the guilt that parents feel at the loss of a child because they didn't show them enough love or didn't spend enough time with them. I never experienced that feeling. One thing I knew without a doubt was that my boy KNEW how much I loved him. Our memories were filled with tender times and crazy fun - all the necessities that money cannot buy.<br /><br />Keep your voice loud and clear, Dr. Laura. Your words are wise and if heeded, will spare many a listener untold heartache. <br /><br />Gay <br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-06-07T17:59:00Z
Giving Your Smile To Someone Else
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Giving-Your-Smile-To-Someone-Else/-955859752533145481.html
2019-06-06T17:59:00Z
2019-06-06T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I heard you talking about how just smiling can make your happier, so I wanted to tell you a story about just that. In my first assignment as an Army nurse, I was stationed in what was then West Germany. The hospital was built on a system where there was one very, very long hall, and then many shorter halls sprouting off on either side of the long hall. The Germans built it in this manner so if a bomb fell, it wouldn't take out the whole hospital. Every day as I got ready to enter the ward on which I worked, I'd find all the usual cares and woes of life riding along on my shoulders. When I reached for the door handle, however, I would take a really deep breath, blow it all out, and then plaster on a huge smile. My patients didn't need to deal with my "<em>stuff</em>," as I was there to help them through theirs.<br /><br />So many of my patients commented that my big smile as I came through that door was one of the things (and sometimes the ONLY thing) that helped get them through some of the worst days of their lives. Taking care of "<em>Jo</em>e" (the affectionate term we used to describe the "<em>everyman</em>" soldier) was the best part of my life. I was so very honored to be entrusted with that responsibility. Plastering that smile on my face actually made ME happy - instantly! It really works. You find that you aren't just smiling, but you're giving your smile to someone else. It is then YOUR heart that benefits. <br /><br />Hoo-ah and hugs,<br /><br />Minta<br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-06-06T17:59:00Z
I Couldn't Have Asked For A Better Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Couldnt-Have-Asked-For-A-Better-Husband/-347512418510493038.html
2019-06-05T17:59:00Z
2019-06-05T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am a proud Army wife and a happy stay-at-home mom to two boys. I've taken your advice on countless occasions and it never fails. One day, I was listening to you at just the right moment. Right before I listened, I had texted my husband about an issue we could have talked about when he got home. I wondered why he was taking so long to get back to me and why he was so short with his responses when he did. Then he told me he was at an important meeting, and when he finished, he called me right away to discuss what I had texted him about. He wasn't upset with me bothering him and was very sweet on the phone. <br /><br />I took all of this for granted until I got in my car and I heard you talking about showing appreciation for the things your spouse does for you. I thought about how rude I had been to keep interrupting him and at how nice he was for even responding to me at all. Right after I heard you, I pulled the car over and sent him a text telling him how much I appreciated his getting back to me. I told him I couldn't have asked for a better husband and how much I loved him. <br /><br />I'm now doing a much better job at making sure he knows how much I love and appreciate what a wonderful husband and father he is.<br /> <br />Your faithful fan,<br /><br />Trina <br /><br /><br />
<p>Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-06-05T17:59:00Z
A Look at You in My Mirror
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Look-at-You-in-My-Mirror/-623039948613151394.html
2019-06-04T17:59:00Z
2019-06-04T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I wrote this to my wife for no real reason. It made me think of a few callers you have had on your show who think they have to have the perfect body for their husbands. I call it "A look at you in my mirror!" <br /><br />You see an aging female that doesn't look like a "super model". I see the most precious, sweet, beautiful, desirable, sexy, sensual, feminine, woman that no air brushing could ever fake. You are the guidelines of what a "super model" is portrayed to be. A super model is a woman that flawlessly emanates natural beauty. A woman who can steal a man's attention and turn him into a wanting, needing, sex-desiring, fumbling idiot. You being that "super model", surrounded by a trusting, deep-matured committed love, leaves no needs unfulfilled for a man to eagerly "swim thru shark infested waters to bring his wife a lemonade" and go back again to get the little umbrella to shade the ice cubes. <br /><br />You see the gray coming into your hair as a sign of getting old. I see the maturing of our love and nature perfecting beauty. You see the aging in your face. I see your heart as it glows from your face. The "evidence of aging" is the depth of the beauty of your love you express to me when you smile at me. You see what you call "only the sacks your boobs came in". I see the hard work and commitment you gave to lose weight and be healthy so we can have more days together expressing and experiencing our love. You see the stretch marks and extra skin from giving birth. I see the most beautiful representation of a precious gift that only a woman's love can give to a man. I see the mothering love you gave to our children to protect, guide, support, and care for. I see the verification of beauty that only a truly loving and appreciative husband can see. <br /><br />You see a little fat around your waist and legs. I see the sexiest, most sensual curves, with desirable femininity that turns on a man's endless, almost uncontrollable need to show his wife what she does to him sexually. I struggle to find words that don't insult astounding feelings that could never be explained. I have an endless deep and respectful desire for you. I can't get enough of you! Making love to you seems to be the only way I can show you how much you mean to me. Knowing that I have your respect, admiration, and your desire, will give me the want and strength to gently and safely place you on the highest pedestal to be rewarded with the true beauty of your love that you give fully and only to me. <br /><br />Next time you look in the mirror, see what you have just read. Then you will see how breathtaking beautiful you truly are. <br /><br />Cliff <br />
Staff
2019-06-04T17:59:00Z
I Chose Him Because Of How He Treats Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Chose-Him-Because-Of-How-He-Treats-Me/666410892739930125.html
2019-06-03T17:59:00Z
2019-06-03T17:59:00Z
<br />I am celebrating five years of marriage today! I was raised in a conservative home and taught from an early age that sex, while enjoyable, had the potential to produce a child and one does not risk that until they are ready for the responsibility and can provide a stable, loving home to raise that child.<br /><br />Because of this, I decided that my first sexual experience would be with my husband. I stuck with that decision through three years of dating, and it was hard! However, what my boyfriend (now husband) and I did with our time was to go new places together and create fun memories while investing in getting to know each other. I remember thinking that if I took love out of the picture, would I still pick this man for my husband? The answer was simple and hasn't changed over our marriage. <br /><br />I chose him because of how he treats me. He showed his love for me by being kind, patient, caring, thoughtful and even making sacrifices for me. He is not perfect, but neither am I. So that's why I chose him! Just as I suspected, the qualities that I spent three years observing have carried over into fatherhood, and he is all those things and more with our sweet daughter. And our wedding night was some kind of special!! <br /><br />Thank you for the values you encourage all of us to maintain. I am living proof of the benefits of good decision-making!<br /><br />Lori<br /><br /><br />
<p> Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-06-03T17:59:00Z
Remarrying When Kids Are Young Is NOT The Answer
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Remarrying-When-Kids-Are-Young-Is-NOT-The-Answer/-286067393580367079.html
2019-05-31T17:59:00Z
2019-05-31T17:59:00Z
<br />I am on my second marriage. I have a 13-year-old with my first husband and an 8-year-old with my second. All the parties get along. My current husband treats my 13-year-old as his own. It all sounds dreamy, and many of my single or divorced friends think that my situation is just great. Well, it is NOT. <br /><br />I have to constantly divide time up with two families and shuttle my oldest back and forth between us and her dad. I'm often the only parent in our two-parent household, because while my current husband is amazing, he is not her father and defers to me. It's very hard work. Only after listening to you and having many heated arguments and heartache, I told him that if I could do it over, I would not have remarried and put her through having a stepfather and stepfamily. My husband's family don't make us feel welcome. Luckily, my husband understands that if we could do it over, we would not have married with children involved. We know now that kids really don't need the upheaval and turmoil of a new family when they don't have a say-so. Yet, we have an 8-year-old together, so breaking up a family twice is not something I entertain or will do. <br /><br />So, I want to say to your listeners that remarrying when kids are so young is NOT the answer. Remember this is coming from someone who likely has one of the better scenarios with her second marriage. Don't remarry until your kids are up and out of the house. Don't put that burden on your children. The right person will wait for you. The wrong one will not, and that's okay. Being alone is not the end of the world. <br /><br />Kerry<br /><br /><br />
<p> Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-05-31T17:59:00Z
The Strength of Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Strength-of-Family/-81712203232385422.html
2019-05-30T17:58:00Z
2019-05-30T17:58:00Z
<br />My only child was diagnosed with a rare liver disease at age 21 and will need a liver transplant sometime in the next 10 years. We've listened to your show since he was a child, and I thought I'd share what a 23-year-old adult man thought about his stay-at-home mom after all these years:<br /><br />
<blockquote><em>Mom, the more I grow and learn about the world, the more I appreciate you. You were always there to teach me, make me a good meal, understand me, and genuinely care for me, always trying to be the best mother you could be. You never abused me, humiliated me, and never used me. You chose a man over 30 years ago who would be a wonderful father when the time came. The most profound gift of all that you gave me though was your pure and unconditional love. I know what most do not: that MY mother truly loves me...that she always has and always will. And I love YOU, Mom - always have and always will. Because of your profound efforts throughout the years of my life, you will always have my gratitude, loyalty and devotion. And you will always...ALWAYS...be loved.</em></blockquote>
<br />I know we have some very difficult times ahead of us as a family, but the strength of our family unit will bond us through the tough years to come. Thanks for your guidance and wisdom and showing that being a stay-at-home mom is worth every effort and sacrifice.<br /><br />Pat<br /><br /><br /><br />
<p> Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. </p>
Staff
2019-05-30T17:58:00Z
Would Your 'Future Self' Be Proud Of Your Decisions Today?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Would-Your-Future-Self-Be-Proud-Of-Your-Decisions-Today/-490891117726756521.html
2019-05-29T17:59:00Z
2019-05-29T17:59:00Z
<p>When my kids were 8 and 5, my wife decided she wanted out of the marriage. She has spent the time since focused on her career, dancing, drinking, and doing things that tend to happen when you're out dancing and drinking. <br /><br />When the wounds were fresh and the kids were with her, I dated a few times, probably to convince myself that I was still desirable, but I discovered that while on a date, I was thinking about my kids. So, I stopped dating. The divorce agreement specified shared custody, but I made sure it also stated that the other parent had the first right of refusal when a babysitter was required, and I soon found myself with the kids evenings, then overnight, then weekends, and within a year, the kids were with me full-time. It was a big job, but despite what friends and family told me, I wasn't being "noble," and I wasn't thinking that I would find a new love "someday." I wasn't looking, and that could wait. Every decision I made, I viewed first through the lens of what was best for my kids. They grew up knowing that I put nothing and no one before them. But it wasn't out of nobility. I sacrificed nothing and I lost nothing and the time I invested in my children will pay dividends the rest of our lives. My kids are in college now, and I often think of your line about whether your "<em>future self</em>" would be proud of the decisions you make today. I guess I'm now my "<em>future self</em>," and I'm proud to know that I did the right thing.<br /><br />Warren</p>
<br /><br />
<p> </p>
Remember, allof you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-05-29T17:59:00Z
Expressing Gratitude
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Expressing-Gratitude/821264768698085928.html
2019-05-28T17:59:00Z
2019-05-28T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Our daughter just finished her first year of college. My husband found a letter on his desk from her. Here's what she said:<br /><br /></p>
<blockquote><em>Dear Dad: </em><br /><br /><em>There isn't enough I could say that would be enough in thanking you for putting me through my first year of college. I am so lucky to be able to attend and prepare for my future at an institution debt-free and beautiful. I am grateful to you for making it a reality. </em><br /><br /><em>I've learned three things about myself this first year at college:<br /><br />1. I never realized until now that you and mom have raised me to be incredibly independent. I've learned that I can handle any situation that comes my way on my own with a strong faith and a steady heart.<br /><br />2. I am mature. I am not like most kids my age. I can create my own fun without needing to bend the rules, and I am able to handle myself in the "real world" without being overwhelmed.<br /><br />3. I am different. As you always say Dad, "different is not bad at all." I have much to offer that most people do not</em><br /><br /><em>This letter only begins to express my gratitude for all that you do for me and Mom, but I hope you know how much you are loved and appreciated.</em></blockquote>
<br /><br />My husband was a big pile of tears after reading this. He's worked very hard and has been a great steward of our money. He is a prize and I'M lucky to have him!<br /><br />Mary<br /><br /><br />
<p> </p>
Remember, allof you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-05-28T17:59:00Z
He Made My Wish Come True
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Made-My-Wish-Come-True/-270117865185970379.html
2019-05-24T17:59:00Z
2019-05-24T17:59:00Z
<p><br />I have been married to a wonderful man for almost four years, and we have two sons, aged 2 and 5 months old. I used to work over forty hours a week on a head injury unit as a speech pathologist. I continued to do so after having my first son. I'd drop him off at my parents' house at 7AM and pick him up at 4PM. It was horrible. I felt like I wasn't a mom.<br /><br />When we got pregnant a second time, I knew that I just did not want to continue what I was doing but was nervous to talk to my husband about it, because I didn't know if we could financially swing the change. Well, I only had to say once that I wanted to leave my job and be a mom to our boys, and he said, "<em>don't worry; I'll figure it out.</em>" <br /><br />It's been 7 months now that I've been a stay-at-home mom, doing a few home care cases four hours a week just to keep my foot in the door. I have meals ready for my husband when he gets home every day, and I tell him every night how much I appreciate him as he has made it possible for me to do the most amazing thing in the world - raise our sons. <br /><br />Teresa <br /><br /></p>
Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-05-24T17:59:00Z
Making Your Own Way
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Your-Own-Way/112206618220040947.html
2019-05-23T17:59:00Z
2019-05-23T17:59:00Z
<p><br />I started listening this year. I'm a full-time college student and I'll be headed into my senior year this fall. Your constant words of encouragement toward "<em>making it happen</em>" for yourself and standing up for what you believe in have helped me immeasurably. Your advice to get out from under your parents' wings and be an adult was probably the hardest bit of advice to follow. My parents are very protective and want to guide my success, instead of letting me make mistakes and find things out the hard way.<br /><br />I remember you taking a phone call from a mother who wanted to talk to her son every day while he was away at school, and you told her that she had to let him come to her and to untie the apron strings that were so tightly wound around him. I've had that discussion with MY parents to trust their abilities to raise me to be who I am and let me now show them what a great job they have done. It's been difficult in the money department, because I'm not asking for bailouts when I need groceries or gas money, but I have learned the true meaning of responsibility, and appreciation for their work. My relationship with them has gone from having parents who hover to guarantee my success to having two adult mentors who are there for advice when I get stuck. <br /><br />I've gone from being a "<em>weenie</em>" to being a strong, independent young woman. Thank you for helping me make my life easier and a little more complete than it was before I started to listen!<br /><br />Aubrey</p>
<p> </p>
Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-05-23T17:59:00Z
I Think Dr. Laura Would Approve
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Think-Dr.-Laura-Would-Approve/-509547552193507242.html
2019-05-22T17:59:00Z
2019-05-22T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />I am 29 years old, and four years ago, I married a MAN. He takes pride in working hard, protecting me, and making good decisions. Before we got married, thanks to you, I made it clear to him that I wanted to stay home when we had kids. At first, he was nervous since this idea is not a common one in my generation, but he warmed up to it, and finally told his own mom that he would make this work so that our future kids weren't in daycare. A month after that, he proposed, and I said yes. <br /><br />Since then, it's only gotten better. Thanks to you, I treat him like a man, and the return has been everything you promised. Last year, we took a "<em>tubing</em>" trip down a very fast, very rocky, secluded river with steep embankments. My tube popped halfway through the three-hour trip. We tried sharing one tube, but that didn't work. Despite my protests, he insisted I take HIS tube the rest of the way, and he would walk. He went two hours over jagged rocks in the ice-cold river. Several times, I offered to swap spots, but he wouldn't have it. When we finally got to the end, his feed were bloody and swollen, and he was shivering from head to toe. I thought to myself "<em>these aren't exactly shark-infested waters, and there is no lemonade involved, but I think Dr. Laura would approve!</em>" Thank you for your wisdom and for the hope you've restored in me for my future as a wife and mother.<br /><br />Melissa<br /><br /></p>
<p> </p>
Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-05-22T17:59:00Z
The Well-Being Of Children Should Always Come First
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Well-Being-Of-Children-Should-Always-Come-First/-102300518354710036.html
2019-05-21T17:59:00Z
2019-05-21T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Thank you for never letting off the hook those parents who put their love life ahead of the well-being of their minor children. My childhood was miserable because my parents married and divorced numerous times, shacked up, married people with kids and made new kids. All this nonsense affected the lives of eleven children!<br /><br />Somehow, I prevailed, married a wonderful man, and for three decades have lived the happy life I dreamed about as a kid. I use my husband's parents as models of marriage and family life and use my own parents as models of what NOT to do. Consequently, we created a warm, loving and safe home for our children. <br /><br />My heart goes out to those children your callers often talk about. These kids have no choice in the situations that are created for them by the adults in their lives, yet the adults are often mystified by way the children behave the way they do. It's so sad. Please continue telling parents in these scenarios that what they are doing is wrong - the well-being of kids should always come first!<br /><br />Jessie</p>
<br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-05-21T17:59:00Z
The Keeper Test
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Keeper-Test/-374933986448403935.html
2019-05-20T17:59:00Z
2019-05-20T17:59:00Z
<p><br />My husband and I recently celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary. Recently, I asked him why he thought our marriage was so successful. Being the quick wit, he said "<em>I knew you would be the one when you slid across the seat of my old pickup truck on a cold winter night to open the locked door on my side before I could even get the key in the lock.</em>" He said he learned that "<em>keeper test</em>" from the movie "<em><a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106489/" target="_blank">A Bronx Tale</a>,</em>" and had tried it out on two other women who he thought might be good possibilities, but I was the only one who made the effort that day, and I continue to make the extra effort EVERY day.<br /><br />As a long-time listener, I've used your wisdom with much success. Most importantly, I remember you saying that love is a verb. I could not believe how small actions like a simple shoulder rub or bringing him a cold glass of water on a hot day would make such a difference. The other important thing I remember from you is before I walk in the door after a bad day, I always ask myself "<em>would I want to come home to me?</em>" The result of this attitude is a husband who continues to spoil me with little extras, such as cooking me a special meal just "<em>because,</em>" or cleaning the windows. We always make sure we share a cup of coffee in the morning and talk about our challenges for the day. <br /><br />So, to those women who think that the birthday or Valentine's Day flowers or jewelry are what make a marriage, how mistaken they are. I have that shiny jewelry too, but I much prefer to look at a beautiful sunrise through those squeaky-clean kitchen windows!<br /><br />Diane <br /><br /></p>
<p> </p>
Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-05-20T17:59:00Z
It's Worth The Sacrifice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Worth-The-Sacrifice/189281747138795660.html
2019-05-17T17:59:00Z
2019-05-17T17:59:00Z
<p><br />I got married 5 years ago, and a year later, I got pregnant with my first child. I was working full time, but heard you talk about stay-at-home mothers and how they should embrace the fact that they're with their children all day. <br /><br />My mother was also a stay-at-home mom to me and my younger brother. I always felt safe because when I was sick or at a game, there was always at least one parent there and it meant the world to me and my brother. With my own situation, I thought I would continue working, but as soon as I had my first child, within <em>seconds</em> I told my husband there is no way I wanted to go back to work. I wanted to raise our kids the way my mother raised me. <br /><br />It was hard at first, because my husband earned all the money, and it took a few months of listening to you to realize that what I was doing was the most amazing job I could ever have. It is also definitely worth the sacrifice, and by sacrifice, I mean financially. Thank you for teaching me more than anyone that being a mother IS my job and the most important thing I will ever do. I'm proud to call myself a full-time mother. I hope my two sons will give the same opportunity to their spouses when they grow up.<br /><br />Kirsten<br /><br /><br /></p>
Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-05-17T17:59:00Z
A Little Inspiration Goes A Long Way
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Little-Inspiration-Goes-A-Long-Way/73830406480069235.html
2019-05-16T17:59:00Z
2019-05-16T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Hello Dr. Laura:<br /><br />From listening to your program, I realize I haven't been taking as good care of my man as I should. It's a challenge because our kids are 12, 15 and 17, and up later than we are. By the time they go to bed, we're both exhausted.<br /><br />I'm self-employed, and today, the printer in my office broke. I asked my husband to help me fix it. It took about an hour, but we did it, and we felt so victorious! He mentioned that he deserved to "<em>get some</em>" later. "<em>How about right here, right now?</em>" popped out of my mouth. At first, he thought I was kidding (and I was), but then I thought "<em>why not?</em>" This would be just the sort of thing Dr. Laura would suggest, I said to myself. So, yes, right then and there. I also suggested that we should sneak away at night and do this more often!<br /><br />Thanks for the inspiration, Dr. Laura. I don't think my husband will ever grumble about helping me again in the future.<br /><br />Dora</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-05-16T17:59:00Z
Trading Time To Carry The Torch
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Trading-Time-To-Carry-The-Torch/-591006980225244973.html
2019-05-15T17:59:00Z
2019-05-15T17:59:00Z
<p><br />When I was 26, I met a man to whom I was very attracted. It was important for me not to "<em>jump in</em>" too fast. I knew young women responded differently to sex than young men do, but I cared very much for this man and I let my guard down. We had incredible sex, which I thought was truly lovemaking, and it made me very vulnerable. I felt very much in love with him. Not too long after that great encounter, he moved away.<br /><br />It was not supposed to be permanent. He said he would be back. I carried this burning torch in my heart, and we were "<em>on and off</em>" over the next twenty-five years!! I tried to find another, but none measured up to what I had with him. I was never able to have a real relationship because I hoped he might return with his white horse. I tell you this in hopes that a young woman might hear it and understand there is much so much to lose in thinking like this. You can lose your heart, and sometimes it never comes back. Your heart and body are a treasure, and they can only be given so many times.<br /><br />Lucky for me, I found you, Dr. Laura. You've helped me realize that this was all just a fantasy, and I'm working to put it behind me for the last time. I've missed so much in my life, and I know that my chances for a quality relationship are now very limited. However, I am going forward a stronger and better person because of what I've learned from listening to you. Thank you.<br /><br />Jeannine</p>
<p> </p>
Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-05-15T17:59:00Z
Without You, I Would Have Been Divorced
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Without-You,-I-Would-Have-Been-Divorced/625792768422211259.html
2019-05-14T17:59:00Z
2019-05-14T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />I just finished reading your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>" and you've completely saved my home life and marriage. Your book taught me how to save me from myself and become the wife and stay-at-home mom I dream of being.<br /><br />In every section of the book, there was an example of MY marriage, so I started treating my wonderful husband better. In only a few short weeks we have become closer than we have been in years. Words can't express how happy I am with my life, my husband, and my marriage. I never thought my resentment for things that he had done would ever go away. Now I realize they just don't matter. <br /><br />My husband has even offered to buy me your whole collection of books, because of the big difference in my attitude toward him and our home life. Without you, I would have been divorced before this marriage ever really took root.<br /><br />Kylie</p>
<p> </p>
Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-05-14T17:59:00Z
I Wanted You to Be Proud of Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Wanted-You-to-Be-Proud-of-Me/516882018314799096.html
2019-05-13T17:59:00Z
2019-05-13T17:59:00Z
<p><br />I began listening to you two years ago. I was in kidney failure at the time, on dialysis, and had no energy. You'd talk about exercising, and I was so jealous that you could go on a hike or a caller could do a push-up. Then you had a caller who felt sorry for herself being overweight and you suggested she turn on music and dance around the house, or go for a walk - she could do anything, as long as she <em>moved</em>.<br /><br />I thought I would give anything to be able to go on a walk or dance around the house and feel good at the end. I vowed if I got a kidney transplant, I would do all of these things. I did get a new kidney, and I counted down the six weeks until I'd be able to exercise. Complications moved that to ten weeks, but I wanted you to be proud of me for not feeling sorry for myself. <br /><br />The first Monday I could, I got up at 4:30AM and started to work out. I felt so good, I decided to start to go to a gym. It's been eight weeks now, and I feel good and see improvements every day. I've even inspired all of my friends to get moving.<br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura for encouraging exercise and for not letting callers get by the with excuses of "<em>poor me,</em>" "<em>I am fat,</em>" or "<em>I don't have time to exercise.</em>" You inspired me, and because of you, I have fallen in love with exercise.<br /><br />Carrie <br /><br /></p>
<p> </p>
Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-05-13T17:59:00Z
Learning To Let Them Do It On Their Own
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-To-Let-Them-Do-It-On-Their-Own/-897179756110865475.html
2019-05-10T17:59:00Z
2019-05-10T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Our two boys, aged 10 and 7, were next door playing on a neighbor's trampoline with their two children. Unbeknownst to me, the older boys were "<em>pantsing</em>" each other - this is where you sneak up on someone and pull their pants down to embarrass them and get a laugh. I had no idea kids still did this! My younger boy came out to the front yard where we parents were, and he was crying. He said his brother "<em>pantsed</em>" him, but his underwear came down too, and he was mortified. We collected all the kids and told them this was an inappropriate game and it would not be tolerated.<br /><br />When we got home, my husband said to our oldest "<em>I think your little brother should choose your punishment because you embarrassed him so badly.</em>" Little brother then said he wanted the other to go to school the next day with no underwear on so if someone "<em>pantsed</em>" HIM, he would know what it felt like. I was unsure about this, but my husband agreed to it, so I kept my mouth shut. <br /><br />That night at bedtime, my oldest was crying loudly, worried about what might happen at school the next day. My youngest was also crying in his room, saying that he felt bad and wanted to take back the punishment. He walked into his brother's room and I heard him say "<em>You don't have to do that punishment. I don't want that to happen to you.</em>" My oldest, with great relief, said "<em>Oh thank you! I'm so sorry I did that to you, and I promise I'll never do it again.</em>" They hugged, and it's a moment I'll never forget. Something changed in their relationship that night, and my oldest said he would never forget what his little brother did for him. Thanks to YOU, Dr. Laura, I prevented myself from interfering or I would have stopped that entire turning point from ever happening.<br /><br />Ramona<br /><br /></p>
<p> </p>
Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-05-10T17:59:00Z
Turning Back Into His Girlfriend
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Turning-Back-Into-His-Girlfriend/17412979633990247.html
2019-05-09T17:59:00Z
2019-05-09T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />As a long-time fan of yours, I learned the secrets of having an amazing marriage long before I married. After six years, I know I've chosen wisely and thought I was treating kindly, but recently, I noticed my husband wasn't being very nice to me anymore. He was sarcastic, quick to anger, and didn't offer to do things for me like take out the trash or snuggle at bedtime. I was confused and started bickering with him.<br /><br />Then I took a step back and realized that I hadn't been a good wife lately either! I was stressed, moody, irritable, resentful and didn't have sex with him regularly for a few months. I've been a listener for too long to not know how to fix this, so I turned back on "<em>the girlfriend.</em>" Even when I didn't feel like it, I initiated a good romp with him. I was sweet, I was flirty, and I touched him in some small way every time I was near him. I noticed a change in attitude, but then the kicker came.<br /><br />We were in bed and he started kissing me, but then he pulled away. In the kindest tone I have ever heard from him, he looked me in the eyes and said "<em>I love you. And more than that, I need you in every way. I never want to imagine my life without you.</em>" He has always been a kind man, but I had never heard such an intense expression of love and passion from him in our entire relationship. It's amazing how a good man can exceed your expectations and become Rhett Butler with a good wife at his side loving him and treating him well. <br /><br />Sylvia</p>
<p> </p>
Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-05-09T17:59:00Z
I Finally Understand
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Finally-Understand/-69895107379290447.html
2019-05-08T17:59:00Z
2019-05-08T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've only been listening to you a few months, but I want to thank you for your advice and share the impact it has had on me and my marriage. I'm a 30-year-old millennial who grew up in a household where my mom worked a stressful job to support her five children and a husband who stopped working for ten years. She came home every day to cook a full meal and clean house. I knew early on that my mother and father did not contribute equally to the household, and I did not want to end up in a similar situation. Unfortunately, the bad habits were already ingrained in me, and I dated several trashy men before declaring my feminine independence. I obtained several degrees and started a Ph.D. program. By my mid-20s the partying grew old and I was lonely. <br /><br />Through a mutual friend I met my husband. He is loving, hard-working, honest and will do anything for me. But something bothered me! He wanted to do everything for me! Instead I told him that I was a strong, independent woman and could do these things for myself! Then we started to fight, and I soon realized that was because of my insecurity in this relationship. After our last argument, I sat down to talk with him honestly. He told me that since I did so much, he wanted to do what he could for me, and he liked to cook, so he made most of the meals. I'm finally understanding the roles of husband and wife. Instead of demanding his attention every weekend, I let him sleep in when he's tired while I make him breakfast and clean up the house. He watches football when his favorite team is on and I do his laundry. I respect him because I love him, and he shows me nothing but respect and love in return. And all the forward movement in our marriage is taking place because I'm learning so much from listening to you. Thank you for the guidance I didn't get from my own family.<br /><br />Kacey</p>
<br /><br /><br />
<p> </p>
Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-05-08T17:59:00Z
I Found You Too Late
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Found-You-Too-Late/-450333971756523248.html
2019-05-07T17:59:00Z
2019-05-07T17:59:00Z
<p><br />I left my husband of 26 years four years ago. I convinced myself that HE was at fault for everything wrong with our marriage. I spoke badly about him to friends and family and convinced them that he was the cause of my terribly miserable life. After I left, he refused to ever speak to me again. During the first year, I cried and cried. I called him and wrote him. When our divorce was final, I got alimony, but he got happiness. I was not there ridiculing his every move. I was not there complaining that he was not this or that. I now realize that I behaved like a rotten spoiled brat.<br /><br />I wrote him a letter of apology, because he deserved it. I hoped and prayed he'd forgive me. He is now remarried, hopefully to a woman who appreciates all the same things he did for me. He probably wakes up every day with a smile. I hope she listens to you and takes your advice. I found you too late. It doesn't matter that I thought I was a good wife and that I did a lot of kind, loving things for him, because I tore them all down and crushed his heart and soul. <br /><br />Ladies, please take care of your husband, and listen to Dr. Laura or you will be left with a broken heart that he had nothing to do with! I did this all to myself, and I want others to learn from my mistakes. No one deserves to be the recipient of the behavior I inflicted on my husband.<br /><br />Vilma <br /><br /><br /></p>
Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-05-07T17:59:00Z
Stay-At-Home Moms Give More Than Money Could Ever Buy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stay-At-Home-Moms-Give-More-Than-Money-Could-Ever-Buy/-308504446857792380.html
2019-05-06T17:59:00Z
2019-05-06T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am a 31-year-old single woman raised by a stay-at-home mom. I went to college and graduate school. I pay my own bills and work full-time in a marketing career that I love. I was recently floored by an article I saw that said girls with working moms get better jobs and better pay, according to recent research. I was disappointed to read the thread of comments below the article where many women reinforced these findings by praising their moms for working full-time when they were younger. Some comments said they believed that working is the best thing they could do for their children, because it sets the best example of what it means to work hard and attain success. When did success mean money? When did it mean making excuses for abandoning your children with a nanny or daycare where they aren't raised by their own parents? <br /><br />Articles like this sadden me, because there has been such a decline in the acknowledgment and appreciation of stay-at-home moms. My mom chose not to have a career because she wanted to raise her three children herself. We grew up always having her available to pick us up after school, help us with our homework, ensure we were cared for, and most of all, love us so much that she gave up her own monetary aspirations for her family. <br /><br />If the day comes that I have children of my own, I'll be giving up my career and raising them just like my mom. Contrary to what that article stated, girls with stay-at-home moms get far more than money could ever buy.<br /><br />Neely<br /><br /><br /></p>
Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-05-06T17:59:00Z
Just A Little Effort Can Make The Biggest Impact
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Just-A-Little-Effort-Can-Make-The-Biggest-Impact/130424895868826991.html
2019-05-03T17:59:00Z
2019-05-03T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />I recently heard a caller to your show who was newly married but didn't seem to have time for or interest in her husband! You suggested she get out of bed in the morning and make coffee. That same advice inspired me long ago. I always considered myself a good wife and I loved my husband dearly. I heard you challenge a woman to do all the little things that make a man want to come home to you. So, I set my alarm early the next day, got up and made my husband a delicious breakfast, and packed him a lunch with a sweet note inside. He was completely thrilled, and I continued this morning ritual, which he loved. I even decided to compete with myself to see how happy I could make him, upping the bar on my home-cooked dinners with new recipes and more. Our marriage went from good to phenomenal. We were like two love-sick teenagers, always giggling and holding hands.<br /><br />Last year, we were shocked when he was diagnosed with leukemia. I visited him every day he was in the hospital, and I stayed many nights to rub his feet or hold his hand. Sadly, he lost the battle several months later. Although of course I wish I had more time with him, I have NO regrets. You never know what the future holds, and I'm so thankful I spent my days dreaming up new ways to show him my love. I miss him every day, but now live my life in peace. Thank you, Dr. Laura, for continuing to remind us that just a little effort can make the biggest impact.<br /><br />Alice</p>
<p> </p>
Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-05-03T17:59:00Z
You Changed My Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Changed-My-Life/158882846080305167.html
2019-05-02T17:59:00Z
2019-05-02T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Late last year, I called you. I was a new listener, and I wish I had heard you when I was a child and teenager with no direction or guidance. What I thought was a call about whether to go on a Thanksgiving trip my mother had planned and my husband didn't want to go on, turned out to be a life lesson that has done more for me than anything else ever has.<br /><br />You called me weak. You reminded me I took vows to my husband and NOT my mother, who had been slowly taking over my life, my parenting, and every vacation we planned. When I finished the call with you, I felt like I had been kicked in the gut. You took all the superficial nonsense air right out of me.<br /><br />You changed my life. I am now the matriarch of our family. My mother no longer makes our vacation plans. I am a girlfriend to my husband, and I am so much more present with my kids. Thank you for staying strong and true, even when it hasn't been easy to do so. I thought I was responsible for how I created my life, but I was weak when it came to my mother. I felt shackled to please her or she would fall apart, because she did any time I challenged her. I didn't know I could tell my mother "<em>no</em>" and still be a good person!<br /><br />It sounds silly writing it now, but this last few months I have transformed into a strong happy woman. My husband is much happier too, and we're both grateful for your voice and your wisdom. Thank you.<br /><br />Rachel</p>
<p> </p>
Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-05-02T17:59:00Z
It Makes Me Happy To Know That I Am Making Him Happy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Makes-Me-Happy-To-Know-That-I-Am-Making-Him-Happy/-921624075535898857.html
2019-05-01T17:59:00Z
2019-05-01T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Last year, my daughter got married, and I bought her your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.</a></em>" She's been exposed to my "<em>Dr. Laura-isms</em>" her entire life, and I hope she follows your advice in her marriage just as I have, because it truly works! My husband gets to hear all the fun facts and knowledge I pick up from your program each week. <br /><br />We own a business and work there together, which means we spend a lot of time with each other between work and home. Working and living together can sometimes be a challenge, but we make it work. Our friends ask us how we do it, as they see us as crazy, or else they say they could never do it.<br /><br />My husband had some serious health issues recently and was in and out of the hospital. A nurse asked us how long we'd been married and couldn't believe it had been 26 years, because we were so "<em>nice</em>" to each other! She said she doesn't see couples like us very often. I credit much of that to you. I'm so appreciative to have you in the back of my brain, daily guiding me. It makes me happy to know that I am doing everything possible to make my husband happy and to be his girlfriend! <br /><br />Kendall</p>
<p> </p>
Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-05-01T17:59:00Z
Making The Most Of Your Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-The-Most-Of-Your-Marriage/-373496021414462288.html
2019-04-30T17:59:00Z
2019-04-30T17:59:00Z
<p><br />I have a few thoughts on how my wife and I have maintained a successful marriage:</p>
<ol>
<li>We have always talked about everything, including finances, children, our relationship and more. We respect each other's opinion, and sometimes my idea prevails while at other times, hers takes precedence. It works if you're flexible.</li>
<br />
<li>Our decisions are based on what is best for US - not what is best for each of us separately. I see very little of this nowadays, as marriages have devolved into a "<em>what's in it for me?</em>" mentality.</li>
<br />
<li>We laugh....a LOT.</li>
<br />
<li>We've learned as we've aged that there will always be problems - family problems, health problems, work problems. Problems occur in all families and you don't start turning on each other when bad things happen.</li>
</ol>
<p><br />My wife and I hope you live to at least 100, Dr. Laura, but that may be for selfish reasons!<br /><br />Paul<br /><br /><br /></p>
Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-04-30T17:59:00Z
Dating Advice From An Eight Year Old
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dating-Advice-From-An-Eight-Year-Old/562270000346742722.html
2019-04-29T17:59:00Z
2019-04-29T17:59:00Z
<p><br />I was really impressed by my eight-year-old son last fall. The TV show "<em>The Bachelorette</em>" was on, and it was the final episode where the contestant picks "<em>The One</em>." For the whole three minutes we had it on, our four-year-old was intrigued by all the roses and pretty dresses she saw. Our eight-year-old son turned to her and told her how the show was dumb because you were supposed to pick someone to marry on that show, and you couldn't possibly get to know someone to marry on a show like that!<br /><br />He went on to say to his sister that you had to get to know someone longer than that before you should ever think about marriage. In a sweet little voice, he then told her to be sure to date a nice man for a very long time before she got married! I was so darned proud of him for having such common sense, but for also having the brains and the love to tell his little sister those words of wisdom. Frankly, I'm amazed at the dingbats who think they've found "<em>love</em>" on that show, but I'm more surprised at those people who faithfully watch these ridiculous programs every week.<br /> <br />He must have picked up some of his good sense from you, because our entire family loves listening to you. Thank you for your always good advice, and know that all ages can learn something from you every day!<br /><br />Kara <br /><br /><br /></p>
Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-04-29T17:59:00Z
Don't Worry, You're Doing The Right Thing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dont-Worry,-Youre-Doing-The-Right-Thing/45619711134392692.html
2019-04-26T17:59:00Z
2019-04-26T17:59:00Z
<p><br />I am a stay-at-home mom of three I had an interesting encounter today that really told me how much the world has changed and how much we have to fight for our values.<br /><br />I've been taking our three-year-old daughter to ballet class, and she hasn't been warming up to it. Today, she wanted to sit with me and watch instead. I told the teacher that my daughter might be too young, and we'd try again in a few months. She said "<em>Well, maybe you need to leave her here alone.</em>" I thought that would devastate my daughter and that ballet was not that important to me. Then she said there's a couple who left their two-year-old with her because they really wanted her in ballet. The kid would cry the whole class and the teacher would sit and console her. And she thought THAT story was a way to convince me that it should be done! Then she said, "<em>Has your daughter ever gone to daycare?</em>" And I got a look of judgment from her when I said "<em>no, she's home with me</em>" that said how dare I allow my daughter to cling to me. I was a bad mom for not making her leave me. I told my own mom this story tonight and she was horrified. We both thank you for giving us strength by telling us every day that we are doing the right thing.<br /><br />Stella<br /><br />P.S. My kids know your voice better than any song on the radio. Those tiny voices saying "<em>Dr. Lawwwa!!</em>" is just priceless! <br /><br /><br /></p>
Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-04-26T17:59:00Z
Swift And Terrible Punishments
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Swift-And-Terrible-Punishments/407401298395189452.html
2019-04-25T17:59:00Z
2019-04-25T17:59:00Z
<p><br />I'm 38, my husband is 40, and we have three kids - 6, 8 and 11. Our 11-year-old has been giving us trouble for almost three years, with lying and disobeying us. We tried everything from taking away his screen time to other punishments. We've talked about lack of trust and respect, but none of this has had any lasting effect. <br /><br />Finally, one day I heard you talking to moms on the radio about "<em>swift and terrible</em>" punishment, so my husband and I made a "<em>swift and terrible</em>" game plan. We emptied our son's room of everything except a Bible, pen and paper, and his clothes. I saw an immediate change in his behavior the next day. He was responsive and cooperative, and starting doing what he was told with little fuss. He is now working toward EARNING all his things back a little at a time. <br /><br />The most surprising change to me was his attitude. He woke up the next day happy like I haven't seen him in ages, saying he decided that his punishment would go better if he tried to be happy. Then it would be easier to obey. He also told me he was glad we took away his video games, because he couldn't stop. Wow.<br /><br />We now have at least one pleasant kid in a noisy house with three kids and three dogs, because we got his attention. Thanks so much for all your guidance.<br /><br />Lara<br /><br /><br /></p>
<br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-04-25T17:59:00Z
I'm Speechless
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Speechless/596001126885164526.html
2019-04-24T17:59:00Z
2019-04-24T17:59:00Z
<p><br />I am a 30-year-old stay-at-home mom and am part of a Facebook "<em>moms</em>" group, where women can ask for help related to everything from sleep training to fun activities and more. Recently, a woman posted that she is conflicted about staying home with her child. She feels "<em>guilty</em>" about the decrease in household income and for all the years she put into building her career. I commented and simply said that the best person to raise a child is a loving mother. If she quit her job, there'd be five people ready to take it, but if she quit being a mother, there would be no one to fill her shoes. Dr. Laura, you would have thought I was condoning the worst of crimes considering how the other women responded to my comment.<br /><br />Women said I was rude and hateful and that I was "<em>tearing down other mothers.</em>" Not ONE other mother responded with a viewpoint similar to mine. Instead, here's a sample of what they wrote: "<em>I'm jealous of moms who make enough money to put their kids in day care. If I could, I'd be back at work in a heartbeat!</em>" Or "What does it matter if it's the mom's choice to work or not? The children are still in the care of others." Or "<em>Women who choose to work are not quitting as mothers. They are teaching their daughters to be independent.</em>" <br /><br />I am heartbroken by the mothers of my generation, and speechless too. Please keep spreading your message. I heard it loud and clear, and I am my kid's mom. He can't talk yet, but he sure is thankful for it every day. I can only hope that more moms my age hear your advice and take it, too.<br /><br />Erin<br /><br /></p>
<br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-04-24T17:59:00Z
You Gave Me The Strength To Open Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Gave-Me-The-Strength-To-Open-Up/-827454430546704255.html
2019-04-23T17:58:00Z
2019-04-23T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm a former Navy fighter pilot and fit your definition of an "<em>alpha male</em>." I achieved my dream of going to the Naval Academy and becoming a Naval Aviator and proudly serving my county, spending 20 years as a fighter pilot. During that time, I never really had a relationship with a woman, since I spent most of my time on a carrier at sea.<br /><br />I retired after 20 years, took a civilian job and met a wonderful woman. We married a few years after meeting, but after the first year of marriage, I started to struggle with symptoms of PTSD from my combat experiences. During my service, I dropped a lot of bombs on targets in the Middle East, and I know a lot of people died as a result. Although I tried to have a clear conscience knowing that most of the victims were the enemy, they were still humans with families who loved them. I really wanted to open up to my wife, but each time I tried, I got very emotional and started tearing up, ultimately clamming up and not telling her anything. I thought that my wife would think I was weak if I cried in front of her.<br /><br />The turning point for me was finding your show on SiriusXM. I started to listen to you every day on my commute. I learned so much from you on marriage that I finally worked up the courage to open up to my wife. Last week, I let it all out. I cried like a baby telling her about my experiences and the struggles that were haunting me. She held me tight and kept telling me that she was here for me and to just let it all out. Once I stopped crying, it felt like a huge burden was lifted from my soul. I feel a thousand percent better and know my relationship with my wife went to a very high level that night. I know she will always be there for me as I continue to heal. Thanks for giving me the strength to open up to my prized bride.<br /> <br />Jerry<br /><br /></p>
<br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-04-23T17:58:00Z
The Ultimate Reward For My Choice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Ultimate-Reward-For-My-Choice/473731428466464606.html
2019-04-22T17:59:00Z
2019-04-22T17:59:00Z
<p><br />My husband and I designed our lives so that I could be a full-time mom, and my son's comments recently brought me to tears. He is in kindergarten, so he's meeting kids and making new friends. We were leaving a store the other day when he said "<em>Mom, it's really sad because some of the kids in my class have moms who always work. That's sad because their moms don't take care of them. I don't know who takes care of them. Thanks, Mom, for taking care of me.</em>"<br /><br />Those words were the ultimate reward and recognition for my choice in life. Thank you, Dr. Laura, for giving me the strength to know I am doing the right thing when so many think otherwise. It IS sad to hear moms saying they missed their children's first steps or first words but justify it because everyone else in their peer group missed them too. They say they feel "<em>guilty</em>" about their choice, but they keep doing it anyway. Just because everyone else is doing it doesn't make it right.<br /><br />Max's mom</p>
<br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-04-22T17:59:00Z
Teaching Kids To Be Kind
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teaching-Kids-To-Be-Kind/-761047277836080804.html
2019-04-19T17:59:00Z
2019-04-19T17:59:00Z
<p><br />I've listened to you for around 30 years, and I'm a good wife to a very happy husband. I'm also a good mom to a well-adjusted 22-year old. <br /><br />Our son's teen years were rough, but he paid for his poor choices every step of the way. At one point, I even kicked him out as he felt the rules in our house didn't apply to him. He grew up fast, and after a semester of living on his own and paying his bills, he decided our rules weren't so bad after all, and came home. It was a tough time, but he needed a PARENT, not a friend.<br /><br />After he graduated from school, we gave him one year to get his act together. After that time, he would either move out or pay us rent. He moved out before the year was up. He now works on the road but calls me often. Just before he left for his last trip, he told me that I had taught him to be kind. There could be no better compliment from a child than that. In fact, it might be my next tattoo!<br /><br />His words touched me deeply, but then again, I learned from the best! Thank you!<br /><br />Delia</p>
<p> </p>
<br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-04-19T17:59:00Z
I Put My Family Before My Degree
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Put-My-Family-Before-My-Degree/-755605828948808330.html
2019-04-18T17:59:00Z
2019-04-18T17:59:00Z
<p><br />I am the one who gave up on his dreams and am happy I did. When I first met my bride-to-be, I was working on my Master's in history, and I planned to continue to get a Ph.D. When she asked me how long the program would take, and I told her it would be about eight years, she said "<em>If you think I'm going to wait eight years for you, you're crazy.</em>"<br /><br />At the time, I was already 31 years old and had just gotten back from working overseas for three years, where I had the time of my life. I loved my job and I had the opportunity after work to study sixteenth century history right in the neighborhood in which I lived. My father's words came to mind. He said, "<em>People your age waste so much time trying to figure out what you really want to do with your lives. I did whatever work I could to put food on the table, so I didn't worry about finding the perfect job.</em>"<br /><br />While working on my Master's, I taught part-time and found history teaching jobs scarce in my local community college districts. If I wanted to marry this woman and start a family (and I truly did), I would have to give up on my dreams of getting my doctorate and becoming a history professor. I did, and we are all better off for it.<br /><br />For the past 21 years, I've been selling cars in order to provide for my family. My wife has stayed home, and homeschooled our two daughters. I couldn't be more proud of her or happier with our family. My wife says I can go back to school when I retire. While the title "<em>Professor</em>" would be nice, "<em>honey</em>" and "<em>Daddy</em>" are the titles I enjoy most!<br /><br />Patrick</p>
<p> </p>
<br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-04-18T17:59:00Z
Keeping Sight Of What Is Important
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-Sight-Of-What-Is-Important/232323044394680046.html
2019-04-17T17:59:00Z
2019-04-17T17:59:00Z
<p><br />My husband and I met when I was 21 and he was 22. We were young, but very much in love. We got married a year and a half later and got pregnant right away. I had always planned on going back to work after our son was born and my husband was always on board with it...until we started listening to you.<br /><br />My husband was in the Marine Corps infantry, and we were dirt poor, but never once did he ask me to help. Instead, he worked all day and went out after we went to bed to make a little extra money. We didn't eat out and we lived more frugally than we wanted, but we both decided that my being home with our son and being a wife to my husband was the best thing for our family.<br /><br />Now, three and a half years later, we have the smartest, most handsome and respectful little boy I've ever met! My husband is still my boyfriend, and we're considering having another child. We never lost sight of what was most important. My husband is a real man and has always provided for our family, even in the hardest of times. Thank you for giving us the guidance we never knew we needed!<br /><br />Kelsie<br /><br />P.S. Our son's name is Rhett, so he's <em>destined </em>to be a real man too!</p>
<p> </p>
<br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-04-17T17:59:00Z
My Dr. Laura 'Thank You' List
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Dr.-Laura-Thank-You-List/216385861082544523.html
2019-04-16T17:59:00Z
2019-04-16T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've heard you say you read every email, and I believe you. I hope this list brings you joy, just like you do for me five days a week. So here goes - my Dr. Laura "<em>thank you</em>" list!<br /><br /></p>
<ol>
<li>Thank you for not retiring. I don't know how you keep going with a clear head, but I thank you for keeping it up.</li>
<br />
<li>Thank you for giving me the perfect word or phrase to describe what is in my head in my own situations. Descriptions roll off your tongue effortlessly all the time, and they are always PERFECT!</li>
<br />
<li>In line with that, thanks for expanding my vocabulary. Just recently, you used the word "<em>self-aggrandizing,</em>" and gave me a new word to use.</li>
<br />
<li>Thank you for your laugh (well I guess you really can't take credit for it), because it makes you seem real when you sometimes can seem a little scary!</li>
<br />
<li>Thank you for changing my "<em>label</em>" from "<em>stay-at-home mom</em>" to "<em>full time mother.</em>" I write it on applications and forms. If something asks for my salary, I write "paid in hugs, kisses and bouquets of weeds held in a chubby little fist."</li>
<br />
<li>Thanks for being blunt about abortion, calling it what it really is - getting sucked into a sink.</li>
<br />
<li>Thanks for singing along to the music. Your timing is usually three seconds AFTER the lyrics, but you go for it, and your joy of song is contagious. It's adorable. </li>
<br />
<li>Thank you for stressing the importance of one's own created circle and the unimportance of one's DNA. </li>
<br />
<li>Thanks for being strong while stressing the importance of feminine wiles. It's not a contradiction, is it?</li>
<br /> </ol>
<p><br />Thank you for all these things and more. <br /><br />With much gratefulness in my heart, <br /><br />Mara<br /><br /></p>
<br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-04-16T17:59:00Z
Learning My Potential
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-My-Potential/718272045897740587.html
2019-04-15T17:59:00Z
2019-04-15T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I was one of "<em>those kids</em>" who were classified as not living up to their potential when I was in school. I could read complete books by the age of three and a half. I distinctly remember the first day of first grade when I was five and a half years old. The teacher passed around worksheets explaining letters and their sounds, and I remember thinking "<em>why am I supposed to be interested in this? I can already read!</em>" On that day, I started spending my school days gazing out of windows and I consciously detached myself from what was going on in the classroom. I spent the next twelve years being a terrible student, because it was boring to me. <br /><br />Over the years, I had three teachers who understood me. Instead of fussing at me or my parents about my inattention, they allowed me to bring my own reading material to all my classes, they encouraged my special gifts, and I still remember them to this day. <br /><br />I knew I wanted something else for my own kids, and that's why I homeschooled them right from the start. Your advice to consider the idea of homeschooling for kids who might not fit into the narrow mold of our current educational system is great. Not every bored kid needs to be medicated!<br /><br />Josie<br /><br /><br /></p>
<br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-04-15T17:59:00Z
You Will Always Have A Piece Of My Heart
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Will-Always-Have-A-Piece-Of-My-Heart/754531728899743777.html
2019-04-12T17:59:00Z
2019-04-12T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura<br /><br />Although my mother passed away seven years ago, I want to thank you for being there for her. We were a family of seven - Mom, Dad, 4 girls and a boy. My brother passed away suddenly when he was 19. The girls at that time ranged from ages 11 to 15, and it was traumatic and turned our lives upside down. Our mother and father, however, had that undying love and a beautiful marriage and they were there for each other and us four girls. When I was twelve a year later, my father became ill and passed away too. I was so scared that the ones you love could leave this earth so abruptly. My mother was our rock, and though she was incredibly distraught, she knew she had to keep it together for us. And that she did! <br /><br />I came home from school and your voice was on the radio day after day. Thank you for guiding her and giving her the courage to continue to raise her four young daughters while feeling like her world was crumbling. She was loving, caring, nurturing and fun, yet set expectations for us (and we knew what they were). <br /><br />She never married again, and always told us our Dad was the love of her life. When we were adults, she told us she also feared bringing another man into a house with four young girls. She thought of us first, and I know you influenced her in that area! <br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, for being her confidante, even though you didn't know it. You will always have a piece of my heart.<br /><br />Big hug and kiss, <br /><br />Tina</p>
<p> </p>
<br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-04-12T17:59:00Z
Making Him Happy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Him-Happy/-887668312898317835.html
2019-04-11T17:59:00Z
2019-04-11T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I met my best friend 20 years ago. What started as a greeting in passing became conversations over a meal, to philosophical discussions into the night to exchanges of hopes and dreams into the wee hours of the morning. Then he asked me to meet up for a summer ride in the new Jeep Wrangler he'd saved up to buy. That drive became our first date that evolved into an 18-year marriage.<br /><br />My gear-head of a husband would later trade his Wrangler for more practical cars as we grew to be a family of six. As the kids got older, he wanted to use his bonus money from his job to buy me a new kitchen. But I suggested that money was better spent upgrading his ride. I asked him not to buy a "<em>Dad</em>" car, but to get something fun, with a pin stripe or sun roof or a powerful engine - something sexy! Then our 7-year-old pointed to a Mustang and said "<em>get that!</em>" Last week, my husband asked me if it were crazy for him to fly out to see an electric blue Mustang convertible. I nearly booked the ticket for him myself. As I dropped him off at the airport for his grand adventure, I was giddy knowing how good it was for his soul and our relationship that he indulges in his love of cars.<br /><br />This same man sends me devil emojis and brings flowers to me and my daughters every Valentine's Day. He brings back my favorite chocolates when he returns from a business trip. He wakes me in the morning just to kiss me goodbye. He tells me I'm beautiful on my grubbiest days, because that's what his heart sees. My children have the added bonus of witnessing love in practice, knowing that this family is being built on a solid foundation: our marriage. For that alone, he deserves at the least a fun car ride to and from that job that provides me with my blessed life, and I can wait for that new kitchen.<br /><br />Millie</p>
<p> </p>
<br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-04-11T17:59:00Z
Appreciating My Alpha Male
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Appreciating-My-Alpha-Male/-745127944099301909.html
2019-04-10T17:59:00Z
2019-04-10T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My 12-year-old son recently decided he wasn't going to listen to me and started being very mean. I was surprised at this because I haven't had many problems with him in the past. He was so mad at me that he was staying out in our truck and not coming into the house! I told my husband what was going on, and after that I got to sit back and watch the show. <br /><br />My husband got our son out of the truck and was told to get his winter weather gear on. Then my husband had him dig a trench in the snow for easy access to our shed. Our boy whined and cried at first, but then sucked it up and finished the task. My husband never lost his temper and stayed perfectly calm the entire time. After the snow was removed, my husband asked if our son understood why he was given this task. Our boy didn't totally understand why, but did admit he had been wrong to behave in the manner he did.<br /><br />My husband said he was literally digging a hole, because he had dug quite a hole in talking to me that way. My husband said "<em>no one talks to my wife that way, and I don't care WHO it is</em>." After all this, my son came to me, wrapped his arms around me and apologized for how he had acted and had treated me. My husband is the best dad I could have asked for to raise our two boys into men. Thank you for helping all of us understand the importance of making sure we keep these types of men and make them feel appreciated and loved.<br /><br />Janie</p>
<p> </p>
<br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-04-10T17:59:00Z
Enough Is Enough
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Enough-Is-Enough/-343911692841413208.html
2019-04-09T17:59:00Z
2019-04-09T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I first heard you 25 years ago when I was 15. My mom used to listen to you, but she never took heed of your advice on how to be a good parent. She was cruel and not loving. I grew up being called fat on almost a daily basis. I was never fat when she called me that, but when I moved out at 20 years of age, one of the ways I got back at her was by finally eating whatever I wanted and actually getting fat. I got up to 291 pounds! Two years ago, I decided enough was enough, but I wasn't doing the work to get my weight down. <br /><br />Then I "<em>re-found</em>" you right here on SiriusXM, and I've been hooked ever since. I can't begin to tell you how much you've changed my life. I've learned from you that it's okay to realize you don't have a "<em>Mommy</em>." I've also learned it's NOT okay to be fat. I am down 100 pounds and am headed toward my goal (30 pounds more). I walk 5-7 miles every day listening to you. I've cut out soda, sugar, and I dance and do Zumba. I think the weight has melted off because I finally feel like I have a Mommy - YOU! I finally feel at peace. <br /><br />I know I still have a long way to go, but I will get there. There's no more "<em>trying</em>" in my life - there's just "<em>doing.</em>" Years of therapy didn't provide one one hundredth of what you have given me in the last year. Thanks for being my biggest inspiration ever. You are a national treasure. <br /><br />Michelle </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-04-09T17:59:00Z
The Word 'Mom'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Word-Mom/-562620049942540371.html
2019-04-08T17:59:00Z
2019-04-08T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />It bothers me how clueless and selfish so many women are today. I had one of the greatest moms ever. I was the last of eight children and she stayed home to raise every one of us. She wasn't poisoned by feminist nonsense. We were deprived of many material things and were considered poor, but we were definitely not poor in spirit. My dad worked hard as a laborer but made only enough money to keep a roof over our heads with light and heat. We survived on hand-me-down clothes from neighboring families and a kind grocer who let my mother buy food on credit. We were on our own when it came to getting college educations, and five of us did get to go. My dad supplemented his income by working as a drummer in a small band, and my mom made a little money as the church organist. Yet even in poverty, my mother gave to other poor people. <br /><br />There are ways to survive, but you must be willing to be unselfish. We did it. We kids earned money as soon as we were old enough. If you have a close-knit and loving family, like we did, with a mother at home holding down the fort, it's surprising how good life can be. It wasn't perfect, and we got accustomed to making sacrifices, even as children. We learned to prepare for the future knowing we had to work for what we needed and wanted. We couldn't afford a turkey for Thanksgiving or Christmas, but we had enough to eat otherwise. We got through being poor, but I think it's far worse to have no love in a home or to be a child raised by a stranger. I'd live my life all over again the same way if I had to.<br /><br />When I think of the word Mom, I think of MY mom, my wife, and her sister. All three raised their children themselves and pursued careers when the kids were grown.<br /><br />Steve</p>
<br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-04-08T17:59:00Z
The Beauty Of Motherhood
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Beauty-Of-Motherhood/-314326793306101057.html
2019-04-05T17:59:00Z
2019-04-05T17:59:00Z
<p><br />I hear a lot of mothers and even fathers talk about how having a baby has destroyed their or their spouse’s bodies. Before I became pregnant, someone told me not to have a child, because “<em>babies ruin your body!</em>” It has been more than a year since my son came into the world, and my body still carries proof of his existence. I have dark pools under my eyes, and a valley where my belly button once was. There are lines mapped across my skin, proving I once was too small to contain all of the love that filled me. Those lines on my skin are all I have left to prove that we were once one and not two. How can I be ashamed of that?</p>
<p>I have so much to say about seeing his eyes under the brows of my own. I see my ancestors and myself as a child every time he looks up at me. Not much makes me feel more beautiful than seeing tiny renditions of my features on my son and realizing how special they are. My body grew that. Not everyone gets to have that privilege.</p>
<p>Sure, my belly is a bit softer nowadays, but the way it moves when I jump up and down sends my son into fits of laughter. I’m not close to what I once was physically, but my perfect boy sees me for who I am. To him, I hang the moon. He knew my heart long before we met. And he loves me. My body made me a mother. If anything, I was “<em>ruined</em>” by the world before I knew him, and he made me whole again.</p>
<p>Rhonda</p>
<p> </p>
<br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-04-05T17:59:00Z
Becoming A New Woman For My Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Becoming-A-New-Woman-For-My-Family/326488704306959319.html
2019-04-04T17:59:00Z
2019-04-04T17:59:00Z
<br />
<p>Hi Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>I am 28 years old, married to my husband for 9 years, and we are expecting our first child very soon. When I first discovered you on the radio, I was doing all the wrong things in my marriage. I was young and immature. My husband, however, is a good man who saw potential in me that I didn’t see in myself, and he never gave up on me.</p>
<p>When I found you, I felt like you were talking directly to me, telling me all the ways I was ruining my marriage and going down the wrong path. I was annoyed to hear this at first, but the more I listened, the more it made sense. After that, I started changing a lot of my ways. I’m so glad I found you when I did, because I realize when I look at all that I have now that I could have lost it.</p>
<p>I’m blessed to have a husband any woman would be lucky to have, and a little baby growing in my belly. I am a better wife and will be a better mother than I would have been had we gotten pregnant earlier in the marriage. I’m embarrassed at the person I used to be, but I’m very proud of the woman I’ve become. I’m happy to say that I will become a stay-at-home mom and it will be the best thing I will ever do in my life!</p>
<p>Teena</p>
<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-04-04T17:59:00Z
Even When It Doesn't Feel Like It's Worth it, It IS!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Even-When-It-Doesnt-Feel-Like-Its-Worth-it,-It-IS!/-233176721311902771.html
2019-04-03T17:59:00Z
2019-04-03T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Twelve years and three kids after my wedding, my marriage was in rough shape. I was a stay-at-home mom who homeschooled, but babydom and toddlerhood with three kids had taken its toll. I wasn't being my husband's girlfriend, and we grew apart. A pornography addiction almost split us up. <br /><br />I was outwardly angry at first, but then I read your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Marriage/dp/0061142840" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage.</a></em>" I started to implement the suggestions. He still lied and tried sneaking around, but through it all, I was steadfast in just loving him. There were so many days when I didn't want to. I didn't want to rub his feet or greet him warmly. I didn't want to make him his favorite meals. I didn't want to lovingly see him off in the morning. After five months of loving him, despite his selfish and mean ways, and after telling him I wasn't going anywhere because we owed our children a peaceful home, I thought nothing would change. Then I started teasing him instead.<br /><br />One day I found a plumbing screw in his shirt pocket. So, even though intimacy was elusive for us, I approached him and said, "<em>do you want to....</em>" and pointed to the object I was holding. After that, I began leaving it in his jeans, his shirt or by the sink. After two weeks of this silliness, I got the kind of change I never could have imagined. He now brings me gifts, does caring things, is complimentary, helpful and I'm the envy of all my friends. It took time, but I fully credit your ways and my resolve to see it through to my new happy life. I hope all women have the courage to keep going even when it doesn't feel like it's worth it.<br /><br />Julia <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-04-03T17:59:00Z
I Chose My Husband Twice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Chose-My-Husband-Twice/253962999366709164.html
2019-04-02T17:59:00Z
2019-04-02T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I chose my husband when I was 19 years old and he was 23. I was a child who got married. We got divorced after ten years together due to stress, immaturity, and neglect. My husband had an affair and I was a very independent strong "<em>woman/girl</em>" who would not stand for that, so we divorced, and we each started to raise our two-year-old son separately.<br /><br />Our sweet little boy was happy to be with both of us. Each time he returned from a weekend with his Dad, he would say "<em>Daddy loves you, Mommy.</em>" As a divorced mother, I thought a lot about the life my son would have. I didn't want him to be an outsider in a new family. I didn't want a new stepmom or step-dad to not like him. And I thought a lot about his words to me about Daddy loving me. By this time, I was listening to your program and I was a Dr. Laura fan. I knew I was more to blame for the divorce than my ex-husband was. I knew I chose the right man, even though I was only 19 when I did it. My little child helped me keep loving his Daddy.<br /><br />Two and a half years after our divorce, my ex-husband picked me up, and we drove to the justice of the peace and married again. Last year, we celebrated our 25th anniversary. My little boy is now 20 years old, and I believe we changed the course of his life. I married his Daddy again because of him, but I am still together with his Dad because of love. One of my prized possessions is a piece of paper I pulled out of my son's backpack when he was in elementary school. It was a picture of a bride and groom with handwritten words that said, "<em>I was happy when my Mom and Dad got married</em>." Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I chose my husband twice, and I will keep treating him kindly forever.<br /><br />Mary<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-04-02T17:59:00Z
I'm Grateful For My Wife's Commitment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Grateful-For-My-Wifes-Commitment/-107831906685002395.html
2019-04-01T17:58:00Z
2019-04-01T17:58:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When we were engaged, my now wife and I took road trips and loved listening to your program. At first, we were just entertained by your frank and practical interaction with callers, but over time, we started talking and absorbing many of your steadfast values. At that early and foundational stage of our relationship, we began to see how being a cohesive family unit was critical not only for our marriage but for the welfare of any children we would bring into the world.<br /><br />Fast forward several years, and when my wife was on maternity leave after having our first son, we started putting more thought into our priorities. It became clear in just a few weeks that being present to raise and nurture our son was worthy of any sacrifice. My wife selflessly quit her job and has committed to staying home and raising our growing family of two sons. I wish I could be home more, but knowing my wife is sharing our sons' laughter, learning and daily adventure reassures me that we're making the right choices. <br /><br />Not many a day goes by that I don't at least briefly reflect on how grateful I am for my wife's commitment to raising our boys. I owe her so much - even as I write this, I realize MORE thanks are certainly due. Maybe bringing home flowers tonight would be a good start! Thank you, Dr. Laura, for advocating for children and guiding young families like mine with valuable principles. I'm grateful to be one of the millions of families you've impacted so positively.<br /><br />Jeff<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-04-01T17:58:00Z
They Only Have One Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/They-Only-Have-One-Mom/593236512232975685.html
2019-03-29T17:59:00Z
2019-03-29T17:59:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I wanted to let you know of a proud moment that happened recently. I was at a baby shower with my grandma (who will be 90 in a few months). We were talking about being a stay-at-home mom, and she told me that staying home is something that I will never regret. I agreed. My cousin who works full time and rarely sees her kids except on the weekend jumped in and said to me: "<em>I don't know how you do it. I was getting ready this morning and my two kids were all over me and wouldn't leave me alone.</em>" To which my grandma said "<em>That's because you are never there. All they want is your attention. You should be ashamed for complaining that the children you birthed want your attention. They only have one Mom. Remember that!</em>"<br /><br />I wanted to applaud. Thanks for all you do, Dr. Laura. You're the reason that I stay at home with my three boys, who are one, five, and nine years old. I go crazy every day, but I absolutely love it.<br /><br />Lee<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-03-29T17:59:00Z
Being the BEST Woman I Can Be for My Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-the-BEST-Woman-I-Can-Be-for-My-Man/-939929980982091078.html
2019-03-28T17:59:00Z
2019-03-28T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />My husband and I have been married for ten years. I knew he had a mild form of epilepsy when we got married, so I knew going in that it would be a different life if he had a seizure and couldn't drive for weeks or months. I was willing to marry him anyway, and I'm glad I did.<br /><br />However, three years into our marriage, he had a new kind of seizure that hospitalized him, and he had to undergo emergency brain surgery. Since then, he's dealt with a more drastic form of epilepsy which has even caused fractured vertebrae. He has never felt sorry for himself and never given into the depression that sometimes comes from the chemical imbalances in his brain. It bothers him that sometimes he can't work like a "n<em>ormal</em>" man and that I, for the most part, have to be the breadwinner to carry our very important medical insurance, but he's a MAN in every sense of the word. While we would love to have children, we realize that children aren't for us. It wouldn't be fair to a child to come into our lives when we couldn't guarantee an at-home parent. We do, however, have two "<em>DOG-ters.</em>"<br /><br />We are friends, lovers, and most importantly, the single most significant person in each other's lives. Even with the form of epilepsy he now has, I would choose to marry him again. Through every medical emergency I've faced with him, I'd never trade my marriage to him for any other stud on earth. Thank you, Dr. Laura, for your advice and for helping me be the best WOMAN I can be for my MAN.<br /><br />Warmly,<br /><br />Linda<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-03-28T17:59:00Z
You Gave Me The Voice That I Needed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Gave-Me-The-Voice-That-I-Needed/287071551637586972.html
2019-03-27T17:59:00Z
2019-03-27T17:59:00Z
<br />I was the first female in a large family to graduate from college, which I paid for myself. Nineteen years ago, when I gave birth to our oldest child, I fully intended to return to work. After all, I had worked HARD to get that college degree and job, but when my six weeks' maternity leave was up, I could not bear the thought of my baby girl spending her days with somebody else. So, I decided that I would not return to work.<br /><br />I did not get the support I envisioned! People thought I was crazy. How was my family going to survive on a military paycheck (my husband was in the service)? My husband was supportive, but I questioned myself and my value, wondering if my greatest asset to my family was my paycheck. That's when I found you! That day, I was changed forever. You gave me a voice and you helped me to be confident and proud of my decision to be the primary influence in my child's life. <br /><br />I have constantly been redefining myself in order to remain my kids' mom. As they transitioned to school, I found jobs that allowed me to be available to take them in the morning and pick them up in the afternoon and to attend all their games and events. <br /><br />Those small children are now 19, 17, and 16. I hear daily what kind-hearted, smart, accomplished, loving children we have. I tell people I am not lucky because this is not an accident. It's because we made the right decision, deciding what had value and what didn't. My youngest said to me the other day "<em>Mom, I'm glad we're not millionaires.</em>" I asked why. He said, "<em>Because that would mean you'd be working too much and we wouldn't have as much time together!</em>" It's because of the strength and courage you gave me to go do the right thing, Dr. Laura, that I was able to hear those words from a teenage boy. THANK YOU.<br /><br />Bonnie <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-03-27T17:59:00Z
The Ugliness of Anger
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Ugliness-of-Anger/720404030343826097.html
2019-03-26T17:59:00Z
2019-03-26T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />A few weeks ago, I was walking to my car in a busy parking lot. A young lady sat in her idling car two spots away from mine. I could hear her conversation even with the car's windows raised! Her husband was on the line and his voice was coming through her car speakers. I heard him say, "<em>I DO love you! You were the one who filed for divorce!</em>" I shouldn't have been so curious, but I sat in my car watching. I couldn't hear her this time, but boy, did her face look ugly as she yelled back at him. It made me ashamed for ever yelling at MY husband. I thought, "<em>Do I look like that when I yell?</em>"<br /><br />I was so embarrassed for ever raising my voice and interrupting him that I immediately called him at work and, in the softest, loveliest voice I could manage, told him how much I missed him and loved him and what a great guy he was. He is an amazingly hard worker, and a wonderful cook too! <br /><br />I never want to forget how ugly that woman looked as she was screaming, and I never want to let my husband see me with that kind of face.<br /><br />Loretta <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-03-26T17:59:00Z
If You're Struggling In Marriage, Ask Yourself This
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/If-Youre-Struggling-In-Marriage,-Ask-Yourself-This/293171406839748058.html
2019-03-25T17:59:00Z
2019-03-25T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've listened to you since I was a little girl, sitting in the middle of a strawberry field hooked up to my Walkman! You've been the key to my having a great marriage.<br /><br />One day, as you were talking to a woman who wasn't enjoying her marriage, you asked her if she was being sweet. You repeated the question "<em>Are you being sweet?</em>" That stuck with me. Since hearing that, any time I feel upset or frustrated, I ask myself "<em>Am I being sweet?</em>" It always turns my attitude in the right direction.<br /><br />Recently, I sent my husband a text message - a very sweet text! That evening, a friend of his came over and discussed marriage problems he and his wife were going through. His comment to us was "<em>I wish my wife were as sweet as you</em>" as he gestured in my direction. It made my whole day, and I knew my husband was proud of me. <br /><br />So thank you, Dr. Laura, for keeping my marriage sweet. We have two little boys and have been married for fifteen very sweet years! You're the best.<br /><br />Selena <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-03-25T17:59:00Z
My Man Is Solid As A Rock
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Man-Is-Solid-As-A-Rock/-919496389251312369.html
2019-03-22T17:59:00Z
2019-03-22T17:59:00Z
<br />Many years ago, my husband was getting dressed in the morning. He pulled out a pair of briefs and noted they were several sizes too big. He immediately turned to me and said with a mocking tone "<em>What the heck is this?</em>" He thought it was funny, he knew there had to be a logical explanation, and he brought it up immediately rather than making stories up in his mind or wondering if I had been unfaithful. I was completely flummoxed and started laughing, because I had no clue how those briefs ended up in his underwear drawer. I can only imagine how some couples might have reacted - an automatic assumption that the wife had cheated and the "<em>other man</em>" had left his underwear behind, accusations flying back and forth, worry, doubt and all the rest. For my husband, there was never any question in his mind, and for me, I never worried that he might have doubts.<br /><br />Two days later, he pulled out another pair of wrong-sized briefs. That's when I figured out what probably happened. We had gone on a weekend getaway, and as we were packing to leave, I looked under the bed and found underwear that I assumed was his. Most likely, the prior occupant of the room had left them. Yes, it's kind of an "<em>icky</em>" story, but years later, we still laugh about this incident. My husband is trustworthy, true to his word, amazing in a crisis, and solid as a rock. I could not be a more fortunate woman!<br /><br />Maddie <br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-03-22T17:59:00Z
HE Chose Me First
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/HE-Chose-Me-First/-930019487565544929.html
2019-03-21T17:59:00Z
2019-03-21T17:59:00Z
<br />I am reminded constantly of how important it is to choose wisely. I'm so thankful that I did. My mother passed away unexpectedly a year ago, and I sank into a deep depression. Although we'd become extremely close her last couple of years, I had a painful childhood.<br /><br />While trying to be an ear for my dad's grievances about his life, I broke down to my husband. Growing up, my brother was my mom's favorite and though I was a "<em>Daddy's girl,</em>" my sister was rebellious from a young age and required the most discipline and therefore, the most attention. The story was similar with our large family of aunts, uncles and cousins. I was picked last for everything. My childhood best friend could never tell me that I was her best friend. I could never shake feeling like a "<em>leftover</em>." I felt like everyone was telling me I was worthless, and I believed it.<br /><br />My wonderful husband took me in his arms, let me cry, and reminded me that HE chose me first. He wanted to marry me from the start. I wasn't a last resort for him. I wasn't a "<em>leftover,</em>" and he said he'd marry me again in a heartbeat. Because I listened to you, Mother Laura, I waited for the right man, and because he asked me to be his girlfriend, told me he loved me, asked me to marry him, and made vows before God because he wanted to, I know in my heart that I'm no consolation prize!<br /><br />Much love,<br /><br />Brittany<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-03-21T17:59:00Z
It's Worth It When You See That They Are Happy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Worth-It-When-You-See-That-They-Are-Happy/461419940265210830.html
2019-03-20T17:58:00Z
2019-03-20T17:58:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I was a professional woman, working my head off, and then I had my daughter. After looking into her eyes, I could not return to work and sentence her to a life in daycare. I walked away from my job, and with my husband an active-duty Marine at the time, we figured out a way to live on his income. It wasn't easy. We were down to one car, and we lived in base housing. There were days it was overwhelming, but looking into her face, I knew it was totally worth it.<br /><br />During the 1970s, being a stay-at-home mom was uncommon, and I was told numerous times that I should work simply because I had two degrees and they thought that I was wasting my education. That was very hurtful, yet all I had to do was look at my children (I had two by that time), and know it was the right thing to do. Both my children are now grown and have children of their own, and they still tell me that when they came home from school, it was great to see me there waiting for them. There are no words to describe how that made me feel. They are following my example and that is the reward for me as well as them. <br /><br />Please keep telling young mothers to raise their children themselves and make whatever sacrifices that are necessary to make that happen. Sacrifices are not so hard when you look in your children's faces and see that they are happy.<br /><br />Joan <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-03-20T17:58:00Z
The Secret of Being a Loving Mother-In-Law
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Secret-of-Being-a-Loving-Mother-In-Law/468412453882687131.html
2019-03-19T17:59:00Z
2019-03-19T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am the mother of adult boys, all married, and living close by. I was never disappointed that I didn't have any girls. Once I had given birth to two boys, I assumed any more children would just be boys! Besides, girls talk too much. I found this out when a young neighbor girl would visit - she would talk constantly! <br /><br />Well, now I have four wonderful daughters-in-law. My boys dated some crazy girls but married really good ones! There is no drama in our family, and the girls all love each other and hang out together. <br /><br />It took a little learning, but I found out the secret of being a loving mother-in-law. My husband and I listen to them and agree on most subjects. If they say the sky is green, we agree. Unless they are dangerous to others, we smile and agree with what they say. I have voiced a different opinion occasionally, but then just kept my mouth shut. Sometimes it's hard, but it's working! My husband and I have been married for 53 years, and the girls all come from parents who have been married a long time, with no history of divorces. I think that makes a difference too!<br /><br />Dawn<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-03-19T17:59:00Z
Redirecting My Focus
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Redirecting-My-Focus/70235130383332799.html
2019-03-18T17:59:00Z
2019-03-18T17:59:00Z
<br />I called you last year in a last-ditch effort to find out what was wrong with my husband. I was overwhelmed emotionally and physically in things I was involved with outside my home. You opened my eyes that my husband wasn't wrong, but I was, and I needed to redirect my focus. Since then, much has changed. My responsibilities outside the home have ended. I took your online course, and within two days, the relationship between my husband and I changed for the better. We were affectionate again and laughing together - something we haven't done in a very long time. <br /><br />A few weeks ago, my twin sister lost her battle with heart disease. I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't see.... but I didn't have to, because he did it all for me. He simply took care of me, and I let him, which is also something I hadn't allowed him to do for a very long time. He held me while I cried and said, "<em>I'm sorry I can't fix this.</em>" As you said in your book and your course, men are fixers, so what an ironic statement that was.<br /><br />Since that time, even though this is the hardest event our family has had to survive, we check in throughout the day, involve each other in our thoughts, and most importantly, love each other. We've been married eighteen years and now (because you opened my eyes), I truly believe our best years are those yet to come. We are one of your success stories, Dr. Laura! Thank you.<br /><br />Jillian<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-03-18T17:59:00Z
Giving Me The Guts to Stand Up and Do The Right Thing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Giving-Me-The-Guts-to-Stand-Up-and-Do-The-Right-Thing/112668607142774457.html
2019-03-15T17:59:00Z
2019-03-15T17:59:00Z
<br />One thing I've heard you say over and over is "<em>between now and dead, is this how you want to spend the rest of your life?</em>" I had to ask myself that question regarding my brother-in-law of 40 years, who over the last ten years has become very difficult to be around - critical, loud, and disrespectful. Our families put up with his behavior for the sake of family peace, but last year I had enough. I wrote him a letter outlining the problem I was having with him, said I'd be polite if I had to be in the same room with him, but that I was "<em>divorcing</em>" him. I wasn't going to take his abusive behavior and comments. The day he read my letter, he texted me incessantly, but I didn't respond. I held my ground, and I felt a tremendous amount of peace once I made that decision. I hosted some family gatherings, and for once, I wasn't walking on eggshells, because he wasn't there. What a relief!<br /><br />But that's not the best of it. After six months, my brother-in-law extended the olive branch to me. There's been a miraculous change in his behavior and attitude when we're together. It's been great, not just for me, but because I set an example to my family that you can stand up for yourself and not be afraid of the consequences. My situation turned out well, but I was willing to take the risk even if it didn't. This change wouldn't have happened if you hadn't kept whispering in my ear "<em>between now and dead....</em>" Thank you for giving me the guts and sense to stand up and do the right thing. Keep on truckin', Dr. Laura!<br /><br />Petra <br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-03-15T17:59:00Z
Staying For All The Wrong Reasons
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Staying-For-All-The-Wrong-Reasons/855385933897366585.html
2019-03-14T17:59:00Z
2019-03-14T17:59:00Z
<br />I just turned 30, and up until recently, I was in a relationship with a great man who had a lot to offer. But as you would say, we were simply "<em>not a match</em>." We dated for over four years and had been shacking up for two. Unfortunately, I had never had anyone explain to me the importance of waiting until marriage to move in together, but now more than ever, I understand why.<br /><br />Our relationship had been rocky for a long time, but because our lives were so entwined with us living under the same roof and sharing possessions, we stayed together for all the wrong reasons for too long. It took me months to work up the courage to find an apartment, move out of his house and start over. It was the most difficult decision that I have ever made, but I never could have done it without you. <br /><br />To stay together would have been an easy and convenient choice. Although this new chapter is scary and uncomfortable, it's incredibly empowering to know that I did the right thing. Hearing your advice about how a relationship SHOULD be made me realize that I wasn't getting what I needed or deserved. I knew I had to take control of my life. Now that I have, I'm looking forward to finding a real man who will not hesitate to stand up for his woman and who will take care of his family. I am beyond grateful to have found such a strong, smart woman in you to look up to every day.<br /><br />Nadine<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-03-14T17:59:00Z
Coming Down From My High Horse
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Coming-Down-From-My-High-Horse/-666044364784298586.html
2019-03-13T17:59:00Z
2019-03-13T17:59:00Z
<br />I recently completed your Marriage 101 course, and I wanted to thank you for saving me from myself and saving my husband from a miserable "<em>ever after</em>." Saying I was a horrible wife is an understatement. I treated my husband terribly, and I am embarrassed by my behavior toward a wonderful man who had all but begged me to be the wife he desperately wanted and needed. I was on the verge of losing him before I discovered you and your program. When I first started listening to your advice to callers, it was so different from what I knew - I was around women whose attitudes toward their husbands were awful. I am disgusted that I went along with it for so long. <br /><br />After reading your books and listening to your show, I realized that my husband was working long hours and finding other things to do in the evening because why would he WANT to come home to ME? I acted annoyed when he came home and then went out of my way to ignore him. <br /><br />I did that until I had a revelation one day after listening to you. I was cooking dinner, and he walked into the kitchen. I stopped what I was doing, grabbed him in an embrace, kissed him like it was our first kiss and told him how happy I was to see him and how much I missed him. He was SHOCKED, and even blushed! He came home earlier the next night, and I treated him kindly again. That has continued every single night, and he no longer works late. <br /><br />Thank you for waking me up and knocking me off my high and mighty horse that so many of my women friends are on as well. I will forever be grateful that I found you before it was too late, while I still have the chance to be the wife and girlfriend that my husband deserves.<br /><br />Danielle<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-03-13T17:59:00Z
Take The Plunge!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Take-The-Plunge!/224733618852155405.html
2019-03-12T17:59:00Z
2019-03-12T17:59:00Z
<br /><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Upon coming home from a long day, my husband took me by the hands and asked me to close my eyes. He guided me into the bathroom, where he had delicately placed candles, rose petals and bath salts surrounding a freshly run bath. Wine and chocolates adorned the rim of the tub, and he beamed ear to ear. "<em>Get in,</em>" he encouraged. I undressed and dipped a toe into the water, only to find it was ICE COLD!! He had inadvertently run the cold water instead of the hot. Dr. Laura, I immediately saw your face flash before my eyes. It was as if you were hovering over the tub saying to me "<em>You have two options, my dear; choose wisely!</em>"<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">I plunged into the cold bath, smiling (but shivering), thanked him profusely and waited for the door to close. I then drained the bath, refilled it with hot water, and relaxed. </span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Since that time, I've had hundreds of HOT baths run for me. He has a way of knowing when I need to decompress. That night, I had my husband in the palm of my hand. I could easily have complained, turned my nose up or scolded him. Instead, I took the plunge (literally) and made him smile.<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Life and marriage are not about winning or being selfish. They're about how you make other people feel when they walk away from you. I made my husband feel like a king that night, and in turn, I've been treated like a queen for fifteen wonderful years of marriage. After all, everyone needs a good cold plunge every now and then!<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Jordyn</span> <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-03-12T17:59:00Z
I Finally Got It!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Finally-Got-It!/911927718747443988.html
2019-03-11T17:59:00Z
2019-03-11T17:59:00Z
<br /><span style="font-size: xx-small;">I pretended that you were on my shoulder this morning as I mulled over my frustration, worry, and concern for my 32-year-old single mom stepdaughter, and how I was disappointed in her decisions (such as living with a new stud and his kids), and I was afraid of the long-term effects on her three-year-old daughter). I have argued with my husband too, trying to convince him that he needs to knock some sense into his daughter. Then I heard you say to me: "<em>STAY OUT OF IT! Your stepdaughter is an adult and anything you or your husband say is not going to change or influence a thing</em>." I could keep arguing and be miserable, I could leave my husband, or I could just bite my tongue. <br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">I chose the third option and what a relief it has been. I can now sleep at night, and our home is peaceful. When I catch wind of my stepdaughter's next stupid decision, I just go about my business. </span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br />It took me a while, but I finally got it. Thank you for your wisdom (even though we never actually had a real conversation)!<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Kerry</span><br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-03-11T17:59:00Z
Being a Better, Happier Wife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-a-Better,-Happier-Wife/964068186730283298.html
2019-03-08T18:58:00Z
2019-03-08T18:58:00Z
<br />Last year, I called you because I was having difficulty deciding between two jobs. The one I had was very stressful, and I had unpredictable ungodly hours. I was barely hanging on, but I made good money, so I was able to save up for a future baby. The new job I was offered had more predictable hours, so I'd be able to spend more time with my husband, but we would take a significant pay cut. I was worried that if I took the new job, I wouldn't be able to save enough to be a stay-at-home mom. You told me to trust that I would weigh each option and make the right decision. I chose the new job so I could be home more with my husband and be a better, happier wife. <br /><br />Guess what? I love my new job and I'm home every night to eat dinner with my husband instead of eating at 10PM what he cooked for me earlier before he headed off to sleep. I'm now truly able to be present with him on the weekends too. I'm happier, healthier, and have hobbies again. My husband and I discovered that we liked making furniture together (he builds it and I stain and finish it), so we can supplement our loss in income with a small online shop. I've also been able to figure out how to grow our savings so I can stay home when the time comes. On top of all that, I just received a raise because I "<em>exceeded expectations</em>" at my new job. Thank you for reminding me that I needed to trust in myself. I couldn't be happier! <br /><br />Allison <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-03-08T18:58:00Z
Don't Laugh At Your Man's Needs
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dont-Laugh-At-Your-Mans-Needs/-492356447452589227.html
2019-03-07T18:59:00Z
2019-03-07T18:59:00Z
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">I'm tired of not being able to have a conversation with other women about wives treating their husbands well without women immediately commenting that it "<em>works both ways.</em>" When I say a wife needs to remember about looking after her man, there are comments and chuckles about women needing things too, and that if men were better at meeting their needs, wives would be nicer and sweeter. They just don't get it. Obviously, there needs to be mutual care and attention, but that doesn't make statements about what men need from women some kind of joke to be laughed at. And that's what women do - they laugh at men's needs. <br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">My dear, sweet and wonderful husband was in a serious car accident three years ago, leaving him severely brain-injured and physically disabled. After two years of his being in several hospitals and rehab programs, hopes were crushed that I could bring him home to take care of him, and we finally had to put him in a long-term care facility. I just couldn't fix everything the way I wanted it. Once I had finally accepted that we had to live apart, he passed away this year, and now I've lost him forever. We were married 29 years and my heart is broken. <br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Everything you tell women is true. The men aren't the ones complaining. I followed your advice many years ago, and I was happier. I focused on just loving him and doing everything I could to make him happy and it made ME happy to do it. I would give anything to be able to hold him again, cook his dinner, wash his clothes or meet him at the door to tell him how glad I am that he is home. No one else seems to get this but you. And I'm sad that women are so taken with themselves that they can't even shut up long enough to listen to a suggestion, because their first response is "<em>it goes both ways</em>." I'm glad YOU don't give up because, for all the women who ignore your advice, there are lots like me who take it and change our lives. Thank you for not being afraid to tell women they are wrong.<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Rita</span> <br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"> </span><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-03-07T18:59:00Z
Making A Work Of Art Out Of My Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-A-Work-Of-Art-Out-Of-My-Life/-376285836045617585.html
2019-03-06T18:59:00Z
2019-03-06T18:59:00Z
<br /><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">I'm getting married this weekend, and I'm sending you this email I have had drafted in my head for years! Our dad walked out on our family when I was young. My mother worked while we were at school and made sure to always be there for us, at whatever cost. She never missed one recital, one bedtime, or one dinner at home. She made it work against all odds. So, as a typical young idiotic woman, I ignored all those wonderful qualities and focused solely on the "sperm donor" father I had lost. I got angry and spent the better part of my 20s trying to break men's hearts so I could walk away with the upper hand for a change. Of course, this only left me lonelier, sadder, and less lovable. <br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">And then I found you. I spent a month rolling my eyes at everything you said and being completely offended by your opinions, yet I kept coming back. And then, incredibly, I realized my sad excuse of a life was my own fault! I was hateful and had no reason to be. I called up a lot of people and gave sincere apologies. I called my mother and begged her forgiveness, promising to do better. I read everything of yours I could find, I listened to your show religiously and proved to myself that I had finally become a woman I was proud to be - the ultimate revenge for my father. <br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Then I met a handsome man I couldn't resist. He championed stay-at-home moms; he was open and communicative and way out of my league. I treated him like gold. That was four years ago. I have never felt so secure, cherished and content in my life. When people ask us our secret, I tell them it's all thanks to you, and choosing wisely and treating kindly. You opened my eyes and gave me the encouragement I needed to become what next week will be the best wife who ever lived. You saved my life and helped me make it a work of art.<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Emily</span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"> </span><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-03-06T18:59:00Z
Thinking About Your Words
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thinking-About-Your-Words/-62021861359938034.html
2019-03-05T18:59:00Z
2019-03-05T18:59:00Z
<br /><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Eight years ago, when I got pregnant with my son, I listened to you fiercely demand that mothers stay home with their children. I KNEW you were right, but I refused to admit that I was a mom who was willing to abandon my child to hired help. I rationalized my decision saying to myself that daycare was going to be good for him, and he would learn to socialize with other children. I even visited the daycare and saw that they were "good people." I kept going with all the rationalizations.<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">I'm a social worker, and I was coming home from work frustrated and tired. All I could think of was how to get my son to sleep in a hurry so I could rest and be prepared for the next day of dealing with drug addicts and the chronically homeless. I decided (hopefully in time) that the most important goal in my life was not to help the homeless or to save the addicts but to raise my son to be a man with values and strength and respect. I quit my job and found one that allows me to work from home when he's at school. It doesn't pay as much, but my son doesn't want THINGS. He wants ME. He wants me to talk to him about science and people and life. He wants me to help him with his homework. He wants me to stop talking about how hard MY day at work was. Thank you, Dr. Laura, for telling the TRUTH. Thank you too for hanging up on us and letting us THINK about what you said. Thank you for telling me that there is a way for me to stay home and raise my child and for not allowing me to make excuses. I have never called you, but I listen to you all the time. I'm scared to make this transition from a career fanatic to a stay-at-home mom, and I'm ashamed that I'm so scared to make the change. But all I have to do is look at my son's face and know that I am doing the right thing! <br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Lily</span><br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-03-05T18:59:00Z
Finding Inspiration
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finding-Inspiration/-461140255235239132.html
2019-03-04T18:59:00Z
2019-03-04T18:59:00Z
<br /><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Dear Dr. Laura:<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">I have listened to you for more than ten years, and I want to thank you for being such an inspiration to me. I have always worked in the family business, but due to economic pressures have had to make changes for the future. The career I've had so far with the family company allowed my wife and me to raise four kids without daycare. <br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">The part where your inspiration comes in is from a recommendation I heard you give several years ago, where you told someone to see if there was a Marriage and Family Therapist in her area. I heard you suggest that a few more times over the years, and as of the past summer, I started courses toward my master's degree in marriage and family therapy. You helped me to form a concrete goal of making family better for children whenever possible. I'm not certain I would be doing this if I hadn't listened to you all this time. <br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">In the classes I've taken so far, I've learned a lot of the reasons why you ask what you do and say what you do. After all, I've had over ten years of Dr. Laura "<em>classes!</em>" Thanks so much for the impact you've had on my life, and hopefully how this will positively influence others' lives.<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Kyle</span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"> </span> <br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-03-04T18:59:00Z
Precious Moments
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Precious-Moments/68801763122703665.html
2019-03-01T18:59:00Z
2019-03-01T18:59:00Z
<br />A few months ago, I dropped my oldest daughter off for her first day at kindergarten. I worked hard to hold back the tears, but I did it...that is until I got in my car, and I blubbered like a baby as I drove all the way home. I was so bad, even my three-year-old told ME to stop crying! I spent every second of my oldest daughter's first five years with her. No work, no preschool. Just us. Many thought I was crazy. Some told me I was making the wrong choice, but I knew in my heart my husband and I were the only ones who could raise a kind, well-adjusted, bright and loving child. <br /><br />The house is quieter now, but the joy has crept back in, knowing it was I who changed her diapers, I who sang to her, read to her and loved her. I didn't miss a moment.<br />After that first day of drop-off, some mothers met at a local coffee shop for some emotional support. As I sat there with my youngest, one mother was taken aback that she wasn't in preschool. She asked me when she was going to start. I said she wasn't. And she literally GASPED when I said that! She looked at me like I was crazy and said: "<em>Well, that is too bad.</em>" Can you believe that? In my heart, however, I was smiling, knowing that I will get two more uninterrupted years with my little one. I cannot wait to experience those precious moments with her. <br /><br />Thank you for being my surrogate mom and for helping me shape the way I raise my kids and love my husband, who is an amazing and strong father. I definitely chose wisely when I chose him.<br /><br />A thousand thank yous,<br /><br />Edie<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-03-01T18:59:00Z
I Made It Happen! You Can Too
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Made-It-Happen!-You-Can-Too/-8884797936750043.html
2019-02-28T18:59:00Z
2019-02-28T18:59:00Z
<br />Staying home with my kids was a priority for me. When my second child was born shortly after my first, I knew I didn't want to work anymore. My husband and I grew up on Long Island in New York, and all of our friends and family were there. However, the cost of living was very high and we knew we couldn't afford to live there on one salary.<br /><br />So my husband found a new job in a small town in Virginia, we sold our house and moved away from everyone we knew. I joined a mother's group, made friends quickly and easily, and was very happy being a mother to my kids. I got pregnant again, and shortly before our third child was born, my husband lost his job. He found another one, but it was in Alabama. Once again, we gave up what was familiar and moved, so I could be home to raise my kids. Our newest child was born in Alabama, and we lived there for five years.<br /><br />Today, we're back up north, my kids are grown, and looking back, I have no regrets about the sacrifices we made in order for me to be a stay-at-home mom. For your listeners, let me say that there is ALWAYS a way - you just have to be willing to make it happen!<br /><br />Morwenna <br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-02-28T18:59:00Z
Lessons in Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lessons-in-Love/-325851899753257683.html
2019-02-27T18:59:00Z
2019-02-27T18:59:00Z
<br />I've been listening to you for over five years. I'm 54 now, and when I was 19, I married my first husband. He ran away with another woman and we divorced. I've learned from you now not to marry when you're so young. I remarried on the rebound and thought I could change a drug abuser and rehabilitate him. One year later, we divorced. Lesson learned from you now: you can't change anyone. I remarried AGAIN and failed to talk with him about his thoughts on children. I don't have any, but he wanted a family, and after 10 years it became more important to him, so I let him out of the marriage, so he still had time to fulfill his dreams. Lesson learned from you now: do pre-marital counseling to talk about each other's expectations. <br /><br />The good news is I finally have gotten it right. Since listening to you, I found my current husband and have made SURE I follow your rules. Neither of us has kids, but I finally figured out with your help, how to act right. We have a wonderful life, and I treat him the way "<em>my man</em>" is supposed to be treated. When I first listened to you, I used to roll my eyes at what you said, but after putting it into action and finding out it really does work, I'm amazed and very grateful. I wish I would have found you earlier because I could have saved myself a lot of mistakes. My parents gave me no guidance, and I was an only child, so I had to figure this all out on my own. The next 30 years are going to be wonderful. I finally got it right with your help.<br /><br />Darla<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-02-27T18:59:00Z
Becoming My Husband's Girlfriend
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Becoming-My-Husbands-Girlfriend/-747228068176105156.html
2019-02-26T18:59:00Z
2019-02-26T18:59:00Z
<br /><br /><br />Fifteen years ago, you saved my marriage. I was a mother of five, and my husband was a busy lawyer for a big company. He worked twelve hour days and always needed to be available. I worked part-time as a Registered Nurse, working late shifts and weekends. I was crabby, exhausted and not nice to my husband. I thought our marriage might end. Then I found your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>," and promptly quit my job.<br /><br />I became my husband's girlfriend. I took over all the house chores except taking out the garbage and snow shoveling. Almost immediately, things started to change for the better. We took walks, found time to date each other, and really enjoyed being together. Our sex life really improved. With me home, my husband's career soared even more. He still worked long days but made time to coach our boys or attend a recital. Sometimes I'd get sad that I had a degree yet wasn't working. I didn't always think cooking and cleaning, being a "<em>room mom</em>" at school or sitting in the stands at sports events was that important. <br /><br />Now our kids are grown, and things are a lot easier. My husband turned 56, however, and he's now considered old at his company, and they decided he should retire. The company that needed him seven days a week, twelve hours a day has decided they can pay younger lawyers less to do his job. So, I want to thank you for that miracle book and for the last 15 years. You helped me understand what was important, and we didn't lose our marriage or miss out on our kids growing up. Please continue to help people understand that their job doesn't need them, but their kids really do.<br /><br />Dorothy.<br /> <br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-02-26T18:59:00Z
My Best Friend, My Girlfriend
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Best-Friend,-My-Girlfriend/-298624841572376621.html
2019-02-25T18:59:00Z
2019-02-25T18:59:00Z
<br />I bought "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>" for my wife when it was hot off the presses back in 2003. I read it first because I didn't want to lay it on the nightstand and risk getting in trouble! At that point, my wife and I had been married for twelve years. We were an active military couple with two young children. We spent years working opposite shifts with opposite days off so there was always someone with the kids. We were busy all the time, and sometimes we felt more like roommates than husband and wife. I wanted something to reinvigorate our relationship.<br /><br />I was astounded at how accurate the book was. It was as though you were talking directly to me about our marriage. After I finished it, I gave it to my wife and told her I had read it, and I hoped she would read it do. She did, and we have benefited from it, even all these years later. We had a great relationship - it just needed some fine-tuning.<br /><br />We're empty nesters now, but through all the years, we put our relationship first and maintained a solid base. Today, my wife remains my best friend and my girlfriend. She's the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep. We were friends for a year before we started anything romantic, so I knew I liked her before I loved her, and that has been key to our success. She is still the most incredible and beautiful woman in the world. Thank you for your commitment to forging great relationships and for your hand in forging ours. <br /><br />Robert<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-02-25T18:59:00Z
Making The Impossible, Possible
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-The-Impossible,-Possible/-888906903423676923.html
2019-02-22T18:59:00Z
2019-02-22T18:59:00Z
<br />I've always heard you urging moms to be home with their children and raise them, but I never thought that was possible for me. I've built a career and am working on a doctorate and thought I was providing more for our children than time could give them. We have a 7-year-old girl and a 4-month-old baby boy. It wasn't until our son was born and I saw our daughter struggling for attention from me and our son getting sick in daycare every week that I realized I HAD to make this work and be at home.<br /><br />After talking with my husband about it, we made the decision for me to resign my esteemed position to be home. Financially, it was really going to be a stretch. The day I resigned, however, I heard from a prior work connection who offered me a position that allowed me to work from home with flexible hours. He even said to me "I want you to be able to raise your children first, and then put work second." He also offered me more than I was previously making. Since the job is online, I can do it when my kids are asleep!<br /><br />So, my salary is put toward a housekeeper and things to make life a little easier so I can spend my time being a mom. I'm able to join karate two days a week with our daughter and help her with school projects, something I couldn't have done before. My son and I are bonding in ways we didn't before. Thank you for always making me question whether I'm doing the right thing because I would not have considered this if it were not for you.<br /><br />Astrid<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-02-22T18:59:00Z
Being 'Right' Isn't Always Important
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-Right-Isnt-Always-Important/-188505069887842794.html
2019-02-21T18:59:00Z
2019-02-21T18:59:00Z
<br />I had been trying to figure out what in the world compelled me to act like so nasty to my husband of almost 19 years. I went into a different room, sat down, and really turned the tables. I put myself in his position and saw myself through his eyes. And I saw what a hateful person I was being. I was mortified by my juvenile behavior. Before, I had always seen myself as being the one who was "<em>right</em>," but that didn't improve my relationship with my loving husband. I vowed that I would no longer act like that in the future. <br /><br />I don't understand why any female would choose to treat the man they made sacred vows with the way you should never treat anyone. I apologized to my wonderful husband and he said: "<em>Good! I was wondering what I did wrong?</em>" I felt like a heel after hearing him say that.<br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, for always being in the back of my mind, guiding me in the right direction. You have no idea how much I've learned from you and how big a part you've played in my marriage being the happiest I could ever ask for (except for that brief interlude when I let self-righteousness get the better of me).<br /><br />Jasmine <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-02-21T18:59:00Z
How I Knew I Dearly Loved My Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Knew-I-Dearly-Loved-My-Husband/-180728002103007360.html
2019-02-20T18:59:00Z
2019-02-20T18:59:00Z
<br />My husband used to have a small Cessna airplane, and he loved to fly it. He is a private pilot, but only as a hobby, and for several years, we kept that plane so we could "<em>hop</em>" the distance between our town and the next big city when we wanted to go shopping. <br /><br />In the beginning, it wasn't too bad, but I have a weak stomach, and sometimes those small planes can shake pretty badly in the air, even though you're not flying at a high altitude. So, I often got airsick. The sensations of turbulence were the worst.<br /><br />Back then, my husband took one of my friend's husbands on a sightseeing tour for his birthday. Guess what? The birthday boy got sick too. That's when my friend asked me how I didn't get sick. <em>"Of course I get sick</em>," I said, "<em>but I have my sick bags right there.</em>" When she asked me why I kept doing it, I said "<em>Because I love to see his eyes light up when he is flying. His smile, his enjoyment - I just love that!</em>" That's how I knew I dearly loved my husband.<br /><br />Eventually, we sold the plane, so no more flying like this for now. Phew! But I wouldn't change that experience for anything!<br /><br />Marisol<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-02-20T18:59:00Z
There Is ALWAYS A Way
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/There-Is-ALWAYS-A-Way/146911184303553613.html
2019-02-19T18:59:00Z
2019-02-19T18:59:00Z
<br />When my husband and I were dating and talking about marriage, I said that after we married and were looking to buy a house, we would base the home price off his income only and not ours combined. That way, when we had kids, I could quit my full-time job to stay home with them and we could still afford the mortgage. His eyes got huge and he was quiet for a while. He said we could buy a much bigger house if we both worked after having children and that this put a lot of pressure on him to be the sole provider. I calmly explained I wasn't having kids so that we had to pay someone else to raise them. <br /><br />He thought about this for a few days and then said, "<em>you're right</em>." He came from a broken home and was put in daycare, which he hated. Now I'm a happy mother of a sixteen-month-old son, and I've been able to stay home from day one. But this has not been easy financially. We do this by SACRIFICING. We sacrifice something almost daily to do this. We bought a small home, I don't have a smartphone, and we eat out only on special occasions. But we enjoy the little things and it's a small price to pay for the happiness we get from being together and knowing that there's only a short time to have these precious moments with our child. <br /><br />In the morning I run with my son in a "<em>jogger</em>" pram, and I run past a daycare. Almost every day, I see a mom driving a very expensive car, dropping her kids off there. So, the "<em>we can't afford for me to stay home</em>" argument I get from others is nonsense. Like you say, there is ALWAYS a way. Thank you for being such a huge stay-at-home mom advocate!<br /><br />Khloe <br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-02-19T18:59:00Z
Changing My Mindset
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-My-Mindset/965621220377666059.html
2019-02-15T18:59:00Z
2019-02-15T18:59:00Z
<br />I'm 37, and my husband is 42. We've been married for ten years and have three kids. After our third child was born, we fell into a routine where we were two ships passing, discussing kid-related topics and attributing our lack of energy to do more than that to our not having slept in seven years! We were sinking.<br /><br />I always had your program on in my car, but around this time, I really started to listen. Your advice seemed somewhat harsh at times, so it was easy for me to brush it off. But I realized that it was also easy to stay in the rut I was in. It was easy to blame him for petty things or blame him for not being happy. It was hard to see the reasons for that were within myself. Reading "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>" and listening to your program helped me see how we got trapped in this cycle. We weren't going to survive getting our kids to adulthood if we didn't put ourselves first. <br /><br />I started holding his hand again, hugging and kissing him in front of our kids and (perhaps the biggest change) I stopped withholding sex as a means of communicating frustration or dissatisfaction. I started doing that even if I was tired or annoyed. Turns out that having sex is a good way to forget the petty annoyances in the first place! My mindset is now different. He feels it and I feel it, and for that I am thankful. Thanks for all that you do for those of us who can't see our way out of the forest.<br /><br />Maureen<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-02-15T18:59:00Z
Taking The Time To Be Courteous
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-The-Time-To-Be-Courteous/-18543643003603481.html
2019-02-14T18:59:00Z
2019-02-14T18:59:00Z
<br />One day I walked into the master bedroom after my husband had left for work and found that he had made the bed. I had meant to text him to thank him, but it kept slipping my mind. Two days later, we were in the car together and I told him how happy I was to see the bed made, and that I was sorry I forgot to thank him. The next morning, he made the bed, and the morning after that, and the morning after that.<br /><br />He has taken it on as his full-time chore. I am sure now to thank him several times a week and tell him how happy it makes me. Showing a little appreciation has paid off big time in this respect, but that's not why I do it. I thank him because it is the courteous thing to do. I treat him with respect and appreciation, and he treats me like he's my man. If only more couples would take the time to thank each other for the little things - it has made a difference in my marriage, and I'm sure it would have a similar effect in others. <br /><br /><br />Betsy<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-02-14T18:59:00Z
Love, Respect, And Sweetness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Love,-Respect,-And-Sweetness/438319929902927923.html
2019-02-13T18:59:00Z
2019-02-13T18:59:00Z
<br />I picked up "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>" for a friend, and then I started reading it first! I immediately saw how I had inadvertently discounted my amazing and patient husband! We adore one another - he is a man of integrity, tough but compassionate, and he has a huge heart. I had been guilty of placing him in last place to tend to the kids, house, schedules, and even our new puppy. <br /><br />After reading only a few pages, I was in tears as I called to "<em>check in</em>" and see what he wanted for dinner. I told him that I couldn't wait to just hang out and see him when he got home. He has always been on-board with my being a stay-at-home mom, and he is always there for me. That's all the more reason he deserved more "<em>TLC</em>" from me, his wife. There aren't many wonderful men like him, and I am so thankful he's my husband. Thanks to you - I am now much more intentional about telling him this and treating him with love and respect and sweetness. While our marriage was still good, I changed MY attitude, and it got a whole lot better. Thank you for telling us girls the truth!<br /><br />Karen<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-02-13T18:59:00Z
Getting Back On Track
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Getting-Back-On-Track/-31706136554908000.html
2019-02-12T18:59:00Z
2019-02-12T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I purchased your online course "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>" last summer. I watched the videos twice. My husband and I married young, and after forty years, four kids, nine grandkids (and two on the way), we both jokingly tell everyone we "<em>ran off the dock, jumped in and started our life together</em>." We were so sure and so happy. The joke is that neither of can swim.<br /><br />Somewhere around empty nest time, I became "<em>that woman</em>" - the one you say, "<em>would you want to come home to you??</em>" I was bitchy, always right in whatever I said, and angry about everything he did or didn't do. I hated my job. I read your books and took your video class. I listened carefully and did absorb it all. I got a different job, changed my tone, and changed my overall attitude. <br /><br />We both became each other's boyfriend and girlfriend - not each other's parent, and not the boss of each other or a dictator. We exchanged loving, sweet and kind words. We started flirting and teasing lovingly, with lots of innuendo involved. It was the most fun we'd had in years. Thank you for getting us back on track. And yes, I want to live like this "<em>from now until dead</em>." You gave us the best 40th-anniversary gift ever!<br /> <br />Laurie<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-02-12T18:59:00Z
Rearranging My Priorities
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Rearranging-My-Priorities/174620825792481217.html
2019-02-11T18:59:00Z
2019-02-11T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When my marriage was young, and my babies were younger, I had mommy trouble. My brother and dad both died a year apart due to natural causes, which set my mother back 75 years. She became my child. She guilted me into putting her above my family and above my emotional sanity. She was rude to me and to my husband. I became a cranky mother and wife. I was miserable.<br /><br />I remember hearing a call from a woman with a similar issue as mine. You told her that because someone gave birth to us doesn't mean they own us or have the right to destroy our lives. That wasn't the definition of honoring one's parents. <br /><br />I took it all in, read "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>," and changed my life. I still called my mother once a week, but I didn't allow her in our home again. My husband became my priority and my children had their mother back. I realized that while I'd love to help my mother, I had kids to raise, and they wouldn't survive with me as a cranky, drained mother. I also realized that someday my kids would leave and my mother would pass away, leaving me with my husband for the rest of my life. I thought then and there that I better love him and take proper care of him.<br /><br />I'm happy to say we have been married for almost 22 years, and we have five happy children. Thanks for all the years of guidance and advice.<br /><br />Kerri<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-02-11T18:59:00Z
My Most Important Job
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Most-Important-Job/-685832711944890799.html
2019-02-06T18:59:00Z
2019-02-06T18:59:00Z
<br />I was a school social worker prior to giving birth to our first son, and at the time, my husband and I planned for me to return to work and place our son in daycare. Then one night while holding my newborn, I became overwhelmed with sadness and anxiety at the thought of our precious son being placed in the care of complete strangers. My husband said we'd figure it out, and we did.<br /><br />I worked part-time in the evenings. I sacrificed my credentials and experience and provided consistency, attention, and friendship to other families in the same boat. We had two more children and I stayed home with them while working part-time when they were old enough to be in school. As my children grew up, it was obvious that my boys had special needs. I needed to be available and present in all areas of their lives. <br /><br />Seventeen years later, after my husband passed away, I went back full-time as a school social worker, and my calendar matches those of my children. I have great hours and my credentials have been reinstated. When asked today where I previously worked, I proudly state that I returned to work after being home for seventeen years raising my children. It has been the greatest and most important job I've ever had, and my children have benefited in ways I may never know. Thank you for promoting and supporting stay-at-home moms with passion!<br /><br />Lydia<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-02-06T18:59:00Z
Court Is In Session
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Court-Is-In-Session/-227724804543922499.html
2019-02-05T18:59:00Z
2019-02-05T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />I am a proud full-time mom of two energetic and happy boys. About two years ago, they got into a yelling match, each escalating so they could get my attention and get the other in trouble. I had a quick idea and just went with it.<br /><br />I surprised them by saying "<em>Okay, court is now in session. The honorable judge Mama presiding.</em>" That stopped them in their tracks. I had one stand to my left and the other to my right, explaining that the one doing the finger pointing was the prosecutor and the other the defendant. They stood straight up and were suddenly quiet. I said the prosecutor was to state his case with no interruptions from the defendant, and then the defendant would have his turn to tell his side of the story. If there was any interruption, I would give one warning, and after that, the interruptor would be held in contempt.<br /><br />This tactic worked remarkably well. By the time they were done stating their cases they understood what they were accusing each other of, and they also understood the other side of the story. Both boys were able to apologize to each other because they realized they both contributed to the argument. They both walked away having learned a good lesson.<br /><br />Now when I say "<em>Court!!</em>" they each get into position and prepare to explain without hurtful words and yelling. I thought you might like to hear my crazy way of getting rid of useless yelling between my boys. Thank you for your influence in the way our boys are raised and everything you stand for.<br /><br />Jenni<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-02-05T18:59:00Z
Everyone Benefits When Mom Is There
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Everyone-Benefits-When-Mom-Is-There/715577723325191242.html
2019-02-04T18:59:00Z
2019-02-04T18:59:00Z
<br />During college, I earned my degree and became a pharmacist. When my daughter was born, I cut back to working three days a week. I had a hard time justifying leaving a career that I had only started a few years earlier, even though I knew in my heart I wanted to be with her. By the time my daughter was five, my husband and I decided that I should quit. My daughter was starting kindergarten and I wanted to be able to drop her off and pick her up every day. <br /><br />Quitting my job was the best decision I have made, aside from getting married and having my daughter. I found your program right after I quit, and you've become a part of my daily routine as I head to school to pick her up. Within a few weeks, all your advice started sinking in. I only wish I had quit sooner. I was raised by two working parents, and it never crossed my mind to be a stay-at-home mom. <br /><br />My daughter (who is now nine) is thriving, and my whole family has benefited from my being home. My husband tells me all the time what a great decision it was. He comes home to a clean house, a home-cooked meal, and gets to relax because the household duties are done. I've started taking tennis lessons, am really enjoying them, and I've made new friends. We recently asked my daughter what she wanted to be when she grew up. She wants to be a stay-at-home mom, so she can take care of her kids and dogs, and not have to take the kids to daycare or after school care. I was very proud to hear this! Thank you!<br /><br />Kristi<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-02-04T18:59:00Z
The Ripple Effect Of Daycare
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Ripple-Effect-Of-Daycare/661109109531709864.html
2019-02-01T18:59:00Z
2019-02-01T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've heard you refer to daycare as a place where your child is not loved all day. It also changes the dynamic of daily interaction. Recently, I babysat the three-year-old next door so his highly-educated parents could have a date night. <br /><br />When I arrived at their house, the dad had just gotten home, and the mom had picked up their child from daycare and had also just gotten home. Dad (in an exaggerated tone) asked the toddler "<em>HOW WAS YOUR DAY? WHO WAS THERE AND WHO DID YOU PLAY WITH?</em>" I wondered if this was a daily event, because every time I see them talking to their child, it's over-dramatic. I believe that if a parent was with a child all day long, daily events would not need to be elevated to the point of being phony and shallow.<br /><br />The toddler and I had a wonderful time while his parents were gone. We sang songs and danced. When they came home, the boy wanted a lollipop, so they presented him with their treat jar, and he helped himself to a handful of lollipops. The mom laughed! When you only see your child for a small window in their day, of course, you want them to be happy, so rules aren't important. Listeners should consider the ripple effect of the many ways daycare changes the way you parent your child.<br /><br />Abigail<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-02-01T18:59:00Z
The Top Ten Things Not To Say To Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Top-Ten-Things-Not-To-Say-To-Dr.-Laura/423155284298844296.html
2019-01-31T18:59:00Z
2019-01-31T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've been a listener for over 25 years. I've compiled a "<em>Top Ten</em>" list for you that I thought you might like. A few weeks ago, I heard you say "<em>I wish someone was keeping track of the things I hate to hear.</em>" That's <em>exactly </em>what I've been doing! So here it is:<br /><br /><br /><strong>THE TOP TEN THINGS NOT TO SAY TO DR. LAURA</strong><br /><br />10. It's hard!<br /><br />9. I just...<br /><br />8. Even if...?<br /><br />7. I guess...<br /><br />6. I'll try that.<br /><br />5. I fear...<br /><br />4. Like I said...<br /><br />3. I feel...<br /><br />2. But I love him!<br /><br />And the number one thing <strong>NOT </strong>to say to Dr. Laura?<br /><br />1. <strong> I don't know.</strong><br /><br /><br />Hope you enjoy this list as much as I did compiling it!<br /><br />Joanne<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-01-31T18:59:00Z
Take A Good look In The Mirror
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Take-A-Good-look-In-The-Mirror/-243112502547189751.html
2019-01-30T18:59:00Z
2019-01-30T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I hear calls every day from women complaining about their husbands and how they don't seem to care. I wanted to share how amazing my husband is. When his difficult mother was alive, I would try to be a buffer and talk to her at least daily. She could immediately push my husband's buttons, but I could take just about anything up to a point. One day, I reached that point, and I yelled at her. My husband came home from work, heard me yelling at his mother on the phone, took the phone and said, "<em>Why are you making my wife yell at you?</em>" He then told her he needed a break from her and that I would not be calling for at least a few days and hung up.<br /><br />Another time, she called to complain to him that I wasn't talking to her. His first question was, "<em>Well, what did you do to her to cause that to happen?</em>" He never once considered that it was anything that I could have done. He always stuck up for me.<br /><br />We've been married for 35 years, with no children. My husband is ill now, and we are limited financially and physically, but he continues to put me first, with little things like getting up before me in the morning to turn the heat on. I've never felt the need to check his phone, his internet history or anything else because he gets everything he needs from me. If a woman thinks her man is not treating her with love, kindness, and respect, then she needs to look in the mirror and see where she is failing. Keep preaching, Dr. Laura, especially to women who need to figure out how to treat their man.<br />Madison<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-01-30T18:59:00Z
Daughter-In-Law Disclaimer
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Daughter-In-Law-Disclaimer/708061058906585262.html
2019-01-29T18:59:00Z
2019-01-29T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I learned early on that my mother-in-law was great if you always agreed with her. If she had a personal issue with me, she always let me know, but any honesty from me to her was met with hostility and anger. I learned so much from this woman about what NOT to do to a daughter-in-law.<br /><br />When my son married, I gave my new daughter-in-law the best disclaimer I could come up with: <br /><br /><em>I've never been a mother-in-law before, so I'm sure at some point, I might unintentionally say or do something that might upset you. PLEASE come to me right away so I can hear you out and make healthy adjustments for the sake of our new relationship. I am teachable and open!</em><br /><br />My daughter-in-law LOVED that. When she was pregnant with our first grandchild, I gave her a similar disclaimer:<br /><br /><em>I've never been a Grandma before. At some point, I might unintentionally say or do something regarding this child that might upset you because of your parenting style. Please, come to be right away and talk to me. I am open, teachable, and I will make any adjustments toward a healthy relationship between us.</em><br /><br />So far, I haven't had to have the conversation with her, and she and my son have been married for six years! <br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-01-29T18:59:00Z
Small Steps Mean Big Improvements
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Small-Steps-Mean-Big-Improvements/673405416812252494.html
2019-01-28T18:59:00Z
2019-01-28T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm a 33-year-old married mother of three kids. I called you for the first time several months ago about how my husband would come home late from working with his father after his regular day job. After I talked to him like you told me to, he has made a big effort to be home every day at 6PM to be with me and our kids. He says it is going to be his new rule from now on.<br /><br />We listen to you together sometimes, and I have tried to be a non-nagging wife who he can be happy to come home to. I can't tell you how much your help has meant to me. You've also helped me with parenting. I don't lose my cool with my kids anymore. I act calm in every situation and let them take responsibility for their own choices.<br /><br />My family is closer than ever, and I just wanted to say thank you!<br /><br />Heather<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-01-28T18:59:00Z
It's Starting To Sink In
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Starting-To-Sink-In/726264520810574114.html
2019-01-25T18:59:00Z
2019-01-25T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />I've listened to you for over 20 years, and my 15-year-old daughter now listens to your show with me. It's sinking in! <br /><br />My 20-year-old niece announced she is quitting college and moving three states away with her boyfriend. My sister told us that some friends were going to throw her a housewarming shower. Without missing a beat, my daughter said the following: "<em>That's awful! Mom and I won't be there, right Mom?</em>" I told my astonished sister that, in fact, we would not be attending. My daughter went on to say that shacking up is not a reason to celebrate and that she hopes her cousin uses reliable birth control and is ready to support herself. My sister was shocked, but I was proud. <br /><br />After my sister left, my daughter told me she's glad we listened to you, Dr. Laura, so we wouldn't mess up our own lives! I told her I was glad, too. Thank you for guiding me in raising my children the right way. You provide a wonderful service to your listeners. Now, if they will only pay attention!<br /><br />Much love,<br /><br />Andee<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-01-25T18:59:00Z
Cutting Ties To Save My Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cutting-Ties-To-Save-My-Family/-235940426317516168.html
2019-01-24T18:59:00Z
2019-01-24T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />For the longest time, I didn't understand why I had become my parents' therapists. I was put in the middle from the time I can remember. My father even said to me "<em>when you leave home, your mom and I will probably divorce</em>." I didn't have a choice when I was under their roof, but as I got older, I certainly had a choice. The problem was I kept up the role as their "<em>shrink</em>." I felt like a complete savior when I fixed situation after situation.<br /><br />Finally, I thought about my unhealthy role in my parents' marriage and how I was betraying my own husband by committing time and emotion to help my parents. Then I realized I wasn't giving it up because I held all the control, and I needed to make sure I was driving the train that was my parents' marriage. Only then was I able to stop. I sweetly told my parents that I couldn't talk to them about their relationship anymore. It took a while to fully relinquish my role, but I have a much happier husband and a better-quality marriage.<br /><br />Giving up such a powerful position wasn't easy, but it had to be done. Thanks for everything you do and for helping me to see the importance of doing the right thing.<br /><br />Judith <br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-01-24T18:59:00Z
Making The Right Choices For Our Daughter
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-The-Right-Choices-For-Our-Daughter/-933627259214372255.html
2019-01-23T18:59:00Z
2019-01-23T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I have a daughter who at birth almost died from complications from an infection. When she entered public school, she wasn't "<em>like her sisters</em>" according to all the teachers. She was stressed, kids made fun of her and teachers called her out for not getting the answers fast enough. She was pulled out of class to get special education help, but it disrupted her day and made her feel "<em>stupid.</em>"<br /><br />Fast forward to fifth grade, and I was working in her class when I watched her have a full-blown panic attack because her teacher was asking for homework that she couldn't find fast enough. He made fun of her in front of the class and that was the last straw. I pulled her out of school that day. I homeschooled her for two solid years. My husband and I did this with no support from anyone. Most of my friends and family thought I was crazy.<br /><br />She wanted to go back to public school for middle school, and she not only excelled but received a "<em>high honors</em>" award. I know it's because she received two years of one-on-one attention from me. My husband and I recognized that she did not fit the public education mold; she's an "<em>out of the box</em>" kid and we couldn't love her more. Homeschooling can be a huge blessing and relief for the student and the parents. You are the biggest reason I have gotten through many of these struggles, and I can't thank you enough.<br /><br />Lots of hugs,<br /><br />Kate<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-01-23T18:59:00Z
Making A Stand
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-A-Stand/-257273249973673389.html
2019-01-22T18:59:00Z
2019-01-22T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Recently, when my husband and I were visiting his parents, I got into a brief argument with my father-in-law as I was trying to control my autistic four-year-old, and he continued badgering her. I told him he wasn't helping the situation, and he got all huffy and started slamming doors.<br /><br />I took our daughter out of the house, as that often helps. My husband stayed behind but texted me as he was trying to decide if we should stay there or go to a hotel, which would hurt his mother's feelings. We decided to stay, but ten minutes later, my husband texted that we were going to a hotel. I couldn't wait to find out what had happened.<br /><br />He had tried to talk to his father, but it only got worse. As he was telling me the story, I realized that I had married the right man. He was standing up for me and how I handled the situation. He told his father "<em>Dad, I love you, I always have and always will, but this is about my wife and daughter and how you treated them. They are always my first priority, so we are leaving.</em>" I told him how proud I was of him, and how happy I was to be his wife. We have decided that we will do what brings the three of us the most peace. Thank you for being such a guiding light in my life!<br /><br />Carolyn <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-01-22T18:59:00Z
Looking At The Big Picture
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Looking-At-The-Big-Picture/-993948824337583084.html
2019-01-21T18:59:00Z
2019-01-21T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Last week, I walked into our kitchen and found a glass in the sink. There is a glass in the same sink every morning. My husband puts it in the sink after he takes medication at night. It's there every morning. That day, I was feeling a bit touchy about it, so I put the glass in the dishwasher while waiting for him to come into the kitchen so I could point out my irritation at the glass in the sink every morning. <br /><br />While I was waiting for him, I noticed on my phone that there were some new activities added to our family calendar. My husband had arranged a lovely trip to wine country, with special cooking classes and dinners to celebrate our 27th anniversary. I decided then and there to keep my mouth shut about the glass. I was about to make an atom-sized annoyance into a mountain with my critical magnifying glass.<br /><br />He provides for our family by making it possible for me to stay home with our four children. He is kind, generous, patient, a loving father, and a devoted and faithful husband. How often do we women keep picking at our men because of minor annoyances? It's like being pecked to death by a chicken!<br /><br />You've made an impact on my life, my marriage and my children.<br /><br />Jennifer<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-01-21T18:59:00Z
Learning Lessons
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-Lessons/-607562892044552883.html
2019-01-18T18:59:00Z
2019-01-18T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I found you again about a year ago. I was seeking an attitude adjustment because my marriage of 21 years was not as strong as it could be. We have five kids and have been married since our mid-20s. My wife is more intense than I am - I'm more laid back - but I recognize that I am someone who broods as well. Her wonderful, daily affection had waned, and she was stressed, having gone back to work part-time for the first time since we got married. I realized that I was feeling sorry for myself. Our love life had dwindled too. <br /><br />Here's what I've done after learning a lot from that experience. Whenever I feel like I've been snubbed by my wife, I view that as a challenge, rather than a slight. I let her know through my actions (not my words) that I desire her, support her, and will take care of her. In essence, I try to win her heart anew each and every day. This has now become a daily habit rather than just a tactic to get her clothes off. I've learned to focus on what I can do daily to make her feel special. It's been a wonderful challenge and an enhancement to our marriage, and our intense lovemaking is back too.<br /><br />Jay<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-01-18T18:59:00Z
Instilling Values Early
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Instilling-Values-Early/348027701371739646.html
2019-01-17T18:59:00Z
2019-01-17T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My second daughter was 4 years old and playing at a friend's home. She came home with a penny that she had taken from the neighbor child's bedroom. I told her that stealing was against the law and against our values as a family, and she had to go back to the house, give the penny back, apologize for stealing and tell them she was wrong. My stinker of a daughter refused to go back and return the penny.<br /><br />I told her that people who steal go to jail, and I sent her to her room. She was not allowed to eat dinner with the family. I later brought her a cold sandwich. Eventually, she decided she <em>would</em> go to the neighbor, not because she had come to some great moral epiphany, but because she didn't want to miss the Disneyland trip we were planning the next day. Still, she was so embarrassed and humiliated that she swore she would never steal again...and she didn't. She's 26 now.<br /><br />Many people told me I was overreacting, but my thought was "<em>stealing is wrong no matter the amount of money or value of the item.</em>" I knew that if I didn't stop it at that moment, she would think it was okay to take things that didn't belong to her. All our kids have been held accountable for their behavior and my husband and I instilled in them a strong sense of moral values. They've grown into good adults of whom we are proud. It's not always easy to be a good parent, but the rewards are awesome.<br /><br />Janie <br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-01-17T18:59:00Z
A Real Example Of Choosing Wisely And Treating Kindly
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Real-Example-Of-Choosing-Wisely-And-Treating-Kindly/745602273805331167.html
2019-01-16T18:59:00Z
2019-01-16T18:59:00Z
<br />Recently, my husband and I were out to dinner when I couldn't help but notice the table of four seated next to us having a good time. There was an older married couple at the table with what seemed to be their adult son with his spouse. The older woman had obviously been through a major life-changing event like a stroke. She was unable to smile, speak or feed herself, and needed assistance sitting upright. Yet there was her wonderfully patient husband by her side, seamlessly providing for her all that she couldn't. He fed her, gently wiping her mouth, and talking to her with the kindest smile on his face, all while having the best time interacting with everyone at the table. <br /> <br />I realized I was staring, and I almost wanted to cry for all kinds of reasons, but the main reason was that I felt grateful, because I married that same man 28 years ago, and there he was sitting right across the table from me, wondering what the heck I was staring at. I was afraid I would start crying, so I didn't say anything at that moment. I've since made more of an effort to treat him with the utmost kindness. That lovely couple in the restaurant will forever be etched in my memory as a prime example of "<em>choosing wisely and treating kindly.</em>" Thank you for planting that phrase into my brain in the first place!<br /><br />Lisa <br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-01-16T18:59:00Z
Letting My Husband Take The Lead
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Letting-My-Husband-Take-The-Lead/169930857406398060.html
2019-01-15T18:59:00Z
2019-01-15T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband of 18 years really impressed me on Christmas Eve. Our youngest son was giving us a hard time and was being a smart mouth. I tried to make him understand he needed to check his behavior, but when that didn't work, his dad stepped in.<br /><br />He told our son he had been taking notes and watching his behavior for the last few months, and he was going to take care of it after Christmas. Our son didn't take him seriously and went to his room with a decided "<em>attitude</em>."<br /><br />An hour later, we found our boy in the living room crying and laying under the tree. My husband got down on the floor to find out the problem, and our son told him he knew he was a brat and couldn't control his mouth. He then got a very fatherly talk about controlling himself and how he was already headed in the right direction by acknowledging that he was being a smart mouth. My husband gave him advice and talked to him like I could never do. He was extremely honest and never once ignored that our son was guilty of these actions. I believe that's one of the reasons boys must have a male role model.<br /><br />My husband is the best and most hands-on loving dad I've seen. Thank you for making sure I always appreciate him and know when to stay out of the situation.<br /><br />Jorja <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-01-15T18:59:00Z
Please, Pay Attention
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Please,-Pay-Attention/-376617917224766664.html
2019-01-14T19:58:00Z
2019-01-14T19:58:00Z
<br /><br />I'm a professional truck driver and heard you talk recently about making human contact while trying to change lanes or enter a freeway. I thought I'd add a "<em>human voice</em>" to your comments.<br /><br />I pull double and triple trailers in Oregon. I drive 600 miles a day, five days a week and have been doing that for the past 25 years. Everything you see around you has been on a truck like mine at one time or another. We drive through sun, rain, ice, fog and snow. We're on the road at three in the afternoon and three in the morning. We share the road with you, but we're much more than that. We're mothers, fathers, husbands, wives, children and grandparents. We go to church and pray for your safety and our own. We volunteer at hospitals, community events and we visit the elderly. We are not all people who have nowhere else to turn. Some of us are college educated. Some of us are military veterans, pastors, flight instructors and lawyers. <br /><br />Help us help you. We know we are long, slow, big and it takes us a little bit to get up to speed. Don't cut us off just because you don't want to be delayed. Don't slam on your brakes to try to make us swerve or slow down. Don't be angry because we didn't or couldn't move over to let you on the freeway. Put down your cell phone or tablet. Turn off the movie in the back seat. Look around you. It's a beautiful world out there. See the color and shapes of the clouds and the rainbows. Talk to one another, especially your children. Please pay attention. Facebook, Twitter and email can wait; your family cannot. Make memories instead of miseries.<br /><br />John<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-01-14T19:58:00Z
Learning New Lessons
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-New-Lessons/-538151054702778030.html
2019-01-11T18:59:00Z
2019-01-11T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Thank you so much for creating the wonderful online course, "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.</a></em>" I haven't finished the entire course yet, but don't worry, I will! The class has already made a positive impact on my marriage and my attitude.<br /><br />My husband works 24-hour shifts and is often exhausted when he comes home. This morning, I greeted him at the door with a big hug and a kiss. He stopped at the bakery on his way home and brought me a delicious muffin, saying "<em>This is for you. I should have bought two!</em>" I offered him the muffin, but he refused, being the sweet, loving man he is. When he went to bed, I cut the muffin in half, covered the other half with Saran Wrap, and put a note on it that said "<em>For my better half. I love you.</em>"<br /><br />Thank you for reminding me how important it is to recognize my husband's feelings, and to do sweet things that make him excited to come home after a long day of work. Your course offers so much insight into how to be a better wife and human being. Before taking the course, I thought "<em>I'm a good wife, but I guess I could learn a thing or two.</em>" I've learned much more than that. Thank you for all you do.<br /><br />Debra<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-01-11T18:59:00Z
Test Drive Mentality
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Test-Drive-Mentality/-199613398932017397.html
2019-01-10T18:59:00Z
2019-01-10T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am a radiologist, originally from Colombia. I've been practicing in this country for 15 years and am proud of having embraced the American culture. One of my major accomplishments, however, has been made thanks to you. I have a 19-year-old niece who lives in Colombia. She's basically a good kid, but she has started leaning toward the terrible feminist mentality. During one of my visits there, she mentioned she would definitely "<em>shack up</em>" with a guy "<em>to see if it worked</em>," because once married, she would feel like a prisoner.<br /><br />I started introducing her to your concepts, and how feeling like a prisoner could easily be avoided by "<em>choosing wisely and treating kindly</em>," which would also preserve a woman's dignity and self-value. She still found reasons to disagree. Then one day, while I was there, she heard me listening to you on my phone. She got curious and listening to you eventually became one of our favorite activities together, slowly opening her eyes to the multiple issues with which you help callers. <br /><br />I bought her "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Stupid-Things-Women-Their-Lives/dp/0060976497" target="_blank">10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives</a></em>," and she texted me when she finished it saying she loved it, and how could she keep listening to you?<br />I'm happy to know that when the time comes and she's ready for a serious relationship, she will no longer have that "<em>test drive before buying</em>" mentality. She also understands the difference it made in her life to have not spent one day in daycare, so someday she'll be a proud full-time mom. Thanks for your great teachings and reflections which have transcended continents and spread across generations. You're really building a little fan club in South America, too!<br /><br />Dayna<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-01-10T18:59:00Z
Facing Facts
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Facing-Facts/-163808485341334214.html
2019-01-09T18:59:00Z
2019-01-09T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />About five years ago, I looked in the mirror and what I saw sickened me. Instead of seeing the slender woman I had been, I saw a person who was so fat, it was gross. I realized right then I needed to stop with the excuses I had told myself to justify my getting so overweight. <br /><br />I started moving more and eating less. After a very long time of sticking to my guns, I am finally that slender woman I never thought I would see again. In all, I lost over 150 pounds. At 5 foot 8 inches, I carry the weight well, but no one looks good at almost 300 pounds. <br /><br />The weight wasn't just about looks. I was extremely sad because I let myself become so unhealthy. I couldn't play with my two boys. I thought I was a complete embarrassment. I was on blood pressure medication and more. I am so lucky that my husband was never mean and was only supportive as I went on this journey. He said he figured I would work it out, so he saw no point in telling me I needed to lose weight because he knew I already knew that. I am now so much happier. I can play with my kids, I'm off the meds, and I love looking better for my amazing husband. <br /><br />Thank you for all the encouragement and support you gave me without even knowing it!<br /><br />Jenni<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-01-09T18:59:00Z
Our Babies Need Us
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-Babies-Need-Us/137642644921371103.html
2019-01-08T18:59:00Z
2019-01-08T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />While taking my toddler son to a "<em>make-believe</em>" children's play town, I noticed how alone most of the children were. They had a parent with them, but I saw multiple children who were physically in proximity to their parent completely ignored due to technology. Parent after parent was staring down at a cell phone like a zombie. It was eye-opening. <br /><br />I was helping my baby boy in and out of "<em>pretend</em>" vehicles, singing songs about the cars or trucks he sat in, and enthusiastically cheering as he used a rail to go up and down a mini-staircase by himself, counting out each step for him. The other kids were alone and sat still or attempted to fiddle with a play object without any youthful joy. No enthusiasm. No spark of creativity. No love. Nothing. They reminded me of little adults, lost in their own thoughts as they sat, behaving perfectly the same way babies left in busy orphanages don't bother to cry after a while because it doesn't make a difference. It broke my heart to see this. <br /><br />Thank you for continuing to advocate for children, and for knowing that ALL these moments are precious. I hear you remind people that when their adult children aren't attached and don't seem to care about their parents that the parent is most of the time the reason it turned out that way. Our babies need us and our approval, snuggles, encouragement, and guidance. <br /><br />My boy's loving mommy,<br /><br /><br />Lara<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-01-08T18:59:00Z
Finding Peace
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finding-Peace/215877793025921095.html
2019-01-07T18:59:00Z
2019-01-07T18:59:00Z
<br />I had a situation with my sister for several years. We had a conversation recently, but as soon as it started, I realized she had no intention of mending our rift, but instead brought up something that happened 30 years ago, as well as several minor items. I was surprised at the magnitude of her anger. That's when I realized she had sandbagged me - she was <em>counting</em> on me being week, as I always have been. I offered her a sincere apology, but she told me she couldn't move forward with me unless I called each member of her family (including nieces and nephews) and apologized to them too. <br /><br />I refused to do that. I haven't spoken to her since. And guess what? I haven't been this relieved in a long time. I am happier than I've ever been and thanks to you, I found the strength to stand up for myself. I feel wonderful and proud. You've helped me more than my own therapist.<br /><br />You are always by my side and I feel stronger for it. Thank you so much for helping people every day.<br /><br /><br />Sierra<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-01-07T18:59:00Z
Cool Change
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cool-Change/-388111952938258168.html
2019-01-06T10:01:00Z
2019-01-06T10:01:00Z
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<div>
<p>
<div><br />A short time ago, the amazing Carson Smith played a song called "<em>Cool Change</em>" by The Little River Band. It really spoke to me, as I am mentally preparing for a big change in my family. My husband and I are preparing to "<em>launch</em>" our 18-year-old daughter, as she has just gotten accepted to a competitive applied mathematics program at a fabulous university. <br /><br /></div>
<div>When "<em>Cool Change</em>" came on the air, it literally brought me to tears. It feels like yesterday when she was learning to walk and talk! Next fall, she'll move into her college dorm 300 miles away. I know in my heart we have raised a confident, independent, smart and resourceful woman. She is in no way, shape or form a "snowflake." With your words always in our minds, my husband and I have shown her what a solid relationship looks like, have guided her toward making good decisions, being a hard worker and managing money. Most importantly, we've taught her the positive consequences of being a kind and generous person.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Emotionally, I'm not ready to let her go, but the rational side of me knows she is ready, so I must be. By fall, she will confidently walk out the door and I will be ready (well.... almost). <br /><br /></div>
<div>Colleen</div>
</p>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-01-06T10:01:00Z
Trying To Spread The Word
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Trying-To-Spread-The-Word/-330426213516767782.html
2019-01-04T18:59:00Z
2019-01-04T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My best friend recently shacked up with her boyfriend and ignored my warnings about doing so. I recommended she listen to your show (I've been a fan for just over a year) and warned her that if he wasn't putting a ring on her finger, he wasn't willing to commit and lay his life on the line for her. She ignored my concerns and became pregnant. Halfway through the pregnancy, she discovered that he was cheating on her. I pulled what I have learned from you and suggested she move home and put her child as her number one priority.<br /><br />She gave birth to a healthy baby boy and after a month, decided to go back to work and put the child in daycare. I again told her to listen to you and advised that I would not allow her to place her child in an unsupervised kid corral. After a pajama party of popcorn and listening to your podcast, I'm happy to report that she has come from the dark side and gotten a night job so either her parents or I can care for the baby and he is always loved. <br /><br />I had many arguments with her about doing the right thing. The irony is when I get in her car, you are almost always on. Thank you for reminding us to be good people!<br /><br />Drake<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-01-04T18:59:00Z
Reminders That I Did The Right Thing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Reminders-That-I-Did-The-Right-Thing/-927209890301852472.html
2019-01-03T18:59:00Z
2019-01-03T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I attend a 45-minute workout class at my local YMCA a few times a week. After my most recent workout, I picked up my kids from the Y's playroom. There was a small book fair outside the adjoining preschool/daycare. We stopped to admire and read some of the books.<br /><br />As I was reading to my little ones, a very well-dressed mother and her three-year-old son who was clutching a toy airplane hurriedly walked by us. The mother dropped her son off at the daycare, and he immediately started screaming "<em>Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!</em>" but she turned around and walked out the door with a look on her face that said, "<em>he'll get over it.</em>" I don't think she even stopped long enough to kiss him on the head goodbye. The little boy stood in the doorway of the daycare screaming for his mother, and not one person from the daycare came to console him or distract him or do anything for him. He did this for at least ten minutes. It was heartbreaking.<br /><br />I used to be a working mom, but thanks to you, I quit that chaos. Witnessing this incident was a further reminder that my husband and I made the right decision. Thank you for giving me back the best years of my life and more importantly, giving my kids their MOMMY back. You are a light in the darkness. Keep it up.<br /><br /><br />All the best,<br /><br />Kathy<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2019-01-03T18:59:00Z
We've Come A Long Way
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Weve-Come-A-Long-Way/-316124529185142889.html
2018-12-19T18:59:00Z
2018-12-19T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband and I stupidly got married after knowing each other for only eight months. I didn't realize then that people are on their best behavior when dating, and you need to take the time to get to know each other better. If we had dated for a few years, I would not have married him. He cared more about what his family thought than what I thought, but I too was the same way - we were both our parents' children rather than grown-up adults who were husband and wife.<br /><br />As we have gotten older, however, we have ripened, and we see things differently. I became more sensitive to his needs and more in tune with his emotions. I listen to him more and validate what he says. If I experience a hard time, he helps me out if he can. When either he or I get sick, we offer help and support for each other. We both work hard and show appreciation for each other's efforts.<br /><br />Now, when I talk about my husband to others, I accentuate his goodness and say nothing about his weaknesses, because I have a few of my own too. I would not want my husband bashing me to his friends and co-workers, but I'd want him to build me up the same way I do him. <br /><br />We've come a long way over the years, and I'm truly glad that he and I made it work. We'll be celebrating our 26-year anniversary coming up. Your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>" really helped to make a difference in our marriage.<br /><br />Thanks, too, for continuing to be the surrogate mom of our nation.<br /><br />Warmly,<br /><br />Leena <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-12-19T18:59:00Z
If I Could Turn Back Time
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/If-I-Could-Turn-Back-Time/856793094378611641.html
2018-12-18T18:59:00Z
2018-12-18T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />In my twenties and early thirties, I enjoyed a successful career in the financial services industry. One of my first hires was perfect for the job, but a few months after we hired her, she told me she was newly pregnant and decided she was going to stop working and raise their child, so she wanted to give me ample notice in order to replace her. I was FURIOUS! I couldn't hide my disappointment and basically shooed her out of my office. I was so removed from being a wife and mother at that time that all I could selfishly think of was how this affected ME.... how it was inconvenient for ME. I wish I could turn back time and show the compassion and gratitude she deserved for giving me so much notice.<br /><br />Time moved on, and so did my career. I married at 34, had two kids in succession, and I tried to keep my career afloat with an abbreviated schedule. I justified this by saying that I ONLY worked three days a week, but my career always came first. I started listening to you when I was pregnant with my third child, and you started seeping into my thinking. After I came back to work from my maternity leave, something happened at work that began to affect my usual positive cheerful self at home. That's when I gave my notice. It was really liberating! I just knew I was doing the right thing. Thirteen years later, my only regret is that I didn't do it sooner.<br /><br />I've made the most of being my kids' mom ever since and know that my decision was one that forever made a huge difference for my kids AND my husband, who is the best boyfriend I have ever had.<br /><br />Janice <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-12-18T18:59:00Z
She's Finally Using Her Brain
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Shes-Finally-Using-Her-Brain/-103948193646676961.html
2018-12-17T18:59:00Z
2018-12-17T18:59:00Z
<br />About a year ago, my wife and I were at a loss as to what to do with our 16-year-old daughter. We have younger children but this one has been a challenge. She had a boyfriend on the third day of school, was using her cell phone inappropriately, and eventually made it clear that she no longer wanted to hear anything from us. We weren't sure what to do.<br /><br />To provide some guidance, I played your podcast for her one evening for the first time. I simply asked her to listen, and I would come back later. At that time, she said she wanted to keep listening. Then she started listening in the morning too. In ensuing months, her boyfriend broke up with her (lucky for us), she continued to mismanage her cell phone and was still confusing us with her teenage emotions. We finally took her phone away for the rest of the year, and that helped a lot. <br /><br />This semester is different. She is saying and doing things that have brought us less anxiety and more relief, and these are things she has heard from you. She comments on the silly boy choices her friends make and now says cell phone use and social media are mostly a waste of time. She's using her brain to make choices and not just her emotions. Your message has become a key component of the fabric of the young woman she is becoming, and we are grateful. Thank you!<br /><br />Roger<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-12-17T18:59:00Z
His Sacrifice For Our Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/His-Sacrifice-For-Our-Family/63307668478192333.html
2018-12-14T18:59:00Z
2018-12-14T18:59:00Z
<br />I know you appreciate real men in the world today, so I thought I would share a little about my husband. Last year, he lost his job, and after five months, took a job with a significant pay cut. Because of this, we have recently been struggling to pay off some bills and older debt, and my husband decided to take a temporary second job.<br /><br />He already drives 45 minutes each way for the first job, so I told him I was the one who should get an evening job, not him. He replied "<em>Our four kids need their mama, and it's my job to provide for our family. I can do anything if it's just temporary.</em>" So my husband went out and got an evening job for which he is way overqualified, to bring in some extra cash.<br /><br />In the meantime, I sit and rock our five-month-old baby, and I am ever so grateful that I married a real man who is out there slaying dragons so I can experience each little smile from our child.<br /><br />Thank you for all your guidance and wisdom that keeps me going each day.<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />Tracee<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-12-14T18:59:00Z
Learning From My Mistakes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-From-My-Mistakes/337512987768164958.html
2018-12-13T18:59:00Z
2018-12-13T18:59:00Z
<br />I've listened to you for 25 years, but that didn't stop my first marriage from failing. After 28 years of marriage and children are grown and out, my husband "<em>changed his mind</em>" and looked for love elsewhere. Fast forward to today, and I met a wonderful new man and decided that I was going to get it right this time, no matter what.<br /><br />We met on December 13th, got engaged four years later on December 13th and married a year after that on, you guessed it, December 13th. He had four children and I had two, but we waited until they were up and out before marrying. The five years we spent dating allowed our children to intermingle periodically at family events, which gave them the opportunity to grow comfortable with each other. We also decided that the only people we wished to have with us at our wedding were our combined six children. It was beautiful. During the ceremony, when I recited my vows, I included "<em>I promise to always keep a special place in my life and in my heart for your children,</em>" and named each of them by name. I also said, "<em>I promise to always be your girlfriend and I promise to never stop dating you</em>." <br /><br />Today, December 13th, we're celebrating our first wedding anniversary. Although we are in our fifties, I wanted to be sure to thank you for letting folks know that it's never too late to learn how to do it right. I am a very fortunate woman, but I didn't "<em>get lucky.</em>" I implemented all the principles you describe and prescribe daily, and the rest fell into place. The biggest lesson? Always think of and consider the other person first. Thank you for helping to make my time between "<em>now and dead</em>" wonderful.<br /><br />Teresa<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-12-13T18:59:00Z
A Small Reminder
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Small-Reminder/-862302314852040367.html
2018-12-12T18:59:00Z
2018-12-12T18:59:00Z
<br />My husband is 30, and I'm 29. We've been married for four years, with no children yet. My sweet husband came home from a long day at work recently and said that on his way home, he started thinking about our other friends' marriages, and the marriages of some in our family, so it got him to thinking about OUR marriage. He said he thought of the other marriages he knew as relationships that were parallel lines. They seemed great, but when you broke it down, those relationships grew and moved separately. Other relationships could be just one single vertical line, with the husband and wife on the same line. This didn't seem ideal to him either, because they were the same - there was no separate growth.<br /><br />Then he came to OUR marriage, and he thought of us as the perfect double helix! The lines move perfectly in and out of each other, making us equally strong and independent on our own, but structurally the helix wouldn't make sense without the intertwining of the two. We need to lean on each other. When he told me this, I nearly squealed "<em>how cute Is that!</em>" <br /><br />Moments like this remind me that I most certainly chose wisely, and I will always treat this sweet man kindly. Thank you for being a guiding light to us Millennials!<br /><br />With love,<br /><br />Megan <br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-12-12T18:59:00Z
Count Your Blessings
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Count-Your-Blessings/546972165208703696.html
2018-12-11T18:59:00Z
2018-12-11T18:59:00Z
<br /><span>Dear Dr. Laura:<br /></span><span><br /></span><span>Our local grocery store has a new advertisement for their liquor section for the holidays. It's a picture of two alcoholic drinks with the caption "<em>It's in-law season</em>." I certainly understand in-law jokes. During our thirty-year marriage, my husband and I have rolled our eyes at each other many times about our respective in-laws. But now that my dad is deceased, and both his parents are gone, I felt sad when I saw that ad. I wish my dad and his parents were still with us so we could roll our eyes and have a few laughs after everyone went home.<br /></span><span><br /></span><span>I never dread making holiday dinners. I don't strive for perfection, and our families never expected it. I don't understand families that don't look forward to the holidays and I don't understand putting up with rude family members either. Life is short, parents die, children grow and move away. Enjoy every crazy moment and don't get caught up in the small things.<br /></span><span><br /></span><span>I remember one Thanksgiving when I was around 10 years old. All our relatives crowded into our small row house in Brooklyn. My mom sent me to look for my dad, and I found him at the back of the house. When I asked what he was doing, he turned to me and said, "<em>counting my blessings!</em>" I'm 54 years old now, and I have never forgotten the words or the sentiment. Teach your children what the holidays mean, and it will stick with them for a lifetime.<br /></span><span><br /></span><span>Linda</span> <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-12-11T18:59:00Z
Let Them Figure It Out
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Let-Them-Figure-It-Out/26986077559440796.html
2018-12-10T18:59:00Z
2018-12-10T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My children are 28 and 29 and have good jobs with their own apartments. They are "<em>off our payroll</em>" as my husband and I joke. <br /><br />When they had a problem, my husband would recite his mantra to me: "<em>Let them figure it out!</em>" He got them an old beat-up car to drive when they got their licenses, but they had to pay the insurance. When they wanted designer accessories, they bought look-alikes. But they worked hard, and both bought used cars within two years - on their own. So, they grew up working through college, contributing to cell phone bills, paying their own credit cards and car insurance and being responsible. <br /><br />My daughter recently called and said her friends still get help from parents with apartment rent, cars, and cell phones, and she can't believe it. She thanked us for raising her the way we did. No fanfare, no balloons or hoopla, but I almost fainted with joy! <br /><br />They're not perfect and neither are we, so I still sprinkle them with "<em>snowflake</em>" dust from time to time, but I'm very proud of all they are accomplishing on their own. Tell your listeners to "<em>hang in there!</em>" They may get a "<em>thank you</em>" eventually, even if it takes 15 years! Responsible adults will be their reward. <br /><br />Thanks, Dr. Laura, for all the good advice you've given all of us.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Valerie<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-12-10T18:59:00Z
I Know I'm Doing The MOST Important Work There Is
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Know-Im-Doing-The-MOST-Important-Work-There-Is/-215367174269184173.html
2018-12-07T18:59:00Z
2018-12-07T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I have a 7-month-old little boy. When I was pregnant, my husband took a completely different career path for the sole reason of allowing me the privilege to raise our son. He never complains, holds it against me or questions it. He's proud he can do this for our son.<br /><br />I knew when I married him, he was a hard worker, but he has gone above and beyond to make this life possible. I grew up with a mom who was there every single day. Then, when I started school, she was there to pick us up, do homework with us, bake, cook dinner and talk with us. I never knew the feeling of daycare - only constant love from my own mother. I wanted the same for my children.<br /><br />I've listened to you since I was twelve (I'm 28 now), and I recently purchased your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B002361NCS/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1" target="_blank">In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms</a>.</em>" It's so hard to get caught up in feeling like I contribute nothing to society because people are always asking when I will go back to work or what my plan is for the future. I'm always a little sheepish and embarrassed when I say that my plan is to raise my children. I won't be going to work. Reading your book reminds me that I will be providing the childhood for my children that will allow them to grow in love every single day. I'm doing THE most important work there is. <br /><br />Emily<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-12-07T18:59:00Z
I'm Not Lucky, I'm Doing My Job
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Not-Lucky,-Im-Doing-My-Job/58241611746646079.html
2018-12-06T18:59:00Z
2018-12-06T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />We listened to a call recently about a mom with two kids in daycare. We paused our homeschooling to listen to the entire call. When you made the comment to "put your child in daycare when he's 31," we all burst out laughing at the same time. I looked at my 12 and 13-year-old and I said: "<em>did you miss me?</em>" "<em>What do you mean?</em>" they asked, perplexed. I said, "<em>well, the five times I left you with a sitter!</em>" They laughed, and when you came back from a break with the song "<em>I Love How You Love Me,</em>" I took my oldest daughter in my arms and we danced. These are the moments I live for. These moments mean everything to me.<br /><br />People tell me a lot that my kids are responsible, kind and smart. I've gotten annoyed, however, when they say, "<em>you're lucky</em>." Lucky??? Luck didn't have much to do with it. God gave me what I have, and it is MY job to take care of it. It's hard work. I especially get those comments from moms who are to busy to be bothered with actual motherhood. I guess they make themselves feel better by believing that I just got lucky. <br /><br />Thanks, Dr. Laura, for being a guiding light and imparting your wisdom. My children, my boyfriend/husband, and I thank you!<br /><br />Lynne<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-12-06T18:59:00Z
Facing My Problem, Head On
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Facing-My-Problem,-Head-On/-817795585572324750.html
2018-12-05T18:59:00Z
2018-12-05T18:59:00Z
<br />I had a big "<em>aha</em>" moment recently. I usually listen to your podcast, and I fast forward whenever there's a call about a woman who is fat. Three weeks ago, I was about to do that again. I don't listen to the "<em>fat</em>" calls, because I don't want to hear them. "<em>Eat less, move more</em>" is what I heard yet again before I got to the fast-forward button. That's when I had the moment. Instead of hitting that button, I turned up the volume. It was an update from a woman who was calling to tell you how much her smiling at the gym has helped her attitude, and you said you were proud of her.<br /><br />I was not so proud of me. It nagged me for a week, and then my daughter took a picture of me. I saw it with bug-eyed horror! I saw the "<em>fat</em>" picture that someone uses when they pair it with an "<em>after</em>" picture when they have lost a significant amount of weight. I so wanted to delete it, but I kept it. THAT's when your words really resonated! So, I'm moving more and eating less - a LOT less. I think of that call and that fat picture when I want to reach for food. <br /><br />Today I am six pounds lighter, and I listened to another "<em>fat call</em>" - this time all the way to the end. Then I cried. I'm finally proud of myself. I've got a long way to go, but I'm putting in the work, and I already have my "<em>after</em>" picture in my head.<br /><br />Deanna<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-12-05T18:59:00Z
It's Never Too Early To Teach Values
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Never-Too-Early-To-Teach-Values/-224498386749982810.html
2018-12-04T18:59:00Z
2018-12-04T18:59:00Z
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><br />I have a funny story to share about teaching kids about money. When my son was four years old, his grandparents gave him five dollars for his birthday. We went to the store to pick out a toy, but the one he really wanted cost eight dollars. As he received a dollar a week for his allowance, I explained he'd have to save his allowance to make up the difference. <br /><br />Three weeks later, he had enough money to buy his birthday present. He was really excited and proud of himself, but when he and I were out for another reason, he found beautiful marbles in a home décor store. He really wanted these marbles, so I told him he had to buy them with his own money. They were three dollars. I gave him the money and told him to reimburse me when we got home. I'll admit it - I set him up.<br /><br />When we got home, he happily went to get his saved money and went to another room. That's when I heard a woeful cry from a distance. "<em>What have I done!!</em>" He had just realized that he didn't have enough money now to pay for the birthday toy he wanted. He cried and cried, "<em>Mom, please lend me the money and I'll pay you back.</em>" Those sad eyes were very hard to refuse, but I explained that he chose to spend his money on marbles, and I would not lend more to him. We dried his tears, and we discussed how he would have to be patient and save his allowance. Three weeks later, we went to the toy store, and he proudly bought his birthday present.<br /><br />He's 22 now and he never spends a cent without a large amount of research and patience and doesn't spend what he doesn't have. So, the moral of the story is it's never too early to teach life lessons and it really is okay to let your kids make mistakes!<br /><br />Lisa <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-12-04T18:59:00Z
Making Myself The Example I Needed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Myself-The-Example-I-Needed/760998244147403771.html
2018-12-03T18:59:00Z
2018-12-03T18:59:00Z
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span>I've been listening to you since I was a teenager when I would hear your program when I was at my grandmother's house. She was a big fan of yours!<br /><br />I'm 25 now, and I never had a good example of what "<em>doing the right thing</em>" is at home. My parents divorced eight years ago, and I know if they had called you, you would have told them not to divorce, because their problems weren't that serious. They weren't being each other's boyfriend and girlfriend. It's still sad for me because my sister was only six when they divorced. <br /><br />Shortly after, my mom met a guy at work and they've been shacking up ever since. I now know why you say don't shack up. I see problems with them all the time that verifies your point. Even though I didn't have good examples at home, please know that because of you and the wonderful advice and knowledge you offer every day, I'll be just fine. I will always "<em>do</em>" (and not<em> try </em>to do) the right thing. <br /> <br />As I date, I'm doing what you tell women to do - lay everything out on the first date in terms of my morals and values. If they don't match up, I get the heck out of Dodge. Thanks for all you do, and congratulations on getting inducted into the Radio Hall of Fame. <br /><br />Stephen<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-12-03T18:59:00Z
I Will Be There To Raise Our Child
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Will-Be-There-To-Raise-Our-Child/-883914274159371153.html
2018-11-30T18:59:00Z
2018-11-30T18:59:00Z
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span>Dear Dr. Laura:<br /></span><span><br /></span><span>Thank you for making me realize I was an idiot when I was in my twenties! I thought I could have it all, being a working mom when I was ready. Thankfully, I didn't have children at that time, but I realized my thinking on this issue was wrong. I came to that conclusion after hearing someone I know who was complaining about her husband say, "at least my baby is always happy to see me when I come home from work!" Of course! Her baby is happy to see her because he missed his mother all day! The switch flipped in my head then and there.<br /></span><span><br /></span><span>I am now 35 and cannot have a biological child due to health issues, but my husband is amazing, and we plan on adopting a child soon. Thanks to you, I will be there every day to love, nurture, encourage and teach our child. Our child will never be where he or she is not loved all day and I will never have the guilt of abandoning him or her when they need me most. <br /></span><span><br /></span><span>Thank you for giving our future child and our family such a powerful gift.<br /></span><span><br /></span><span>Sincerely,<br /></span><span><br /></span><span>Sydelle</span> <br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-11-30T18:59:00Z
Do The Right Thing, Be Nice, and Tell the Truth
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Do-The-Right-Thing,-Be-Nice,-and-Tell-the-Truth/748476429300393802.html
2018-11-28T18:59:00Z
2018-11-28T18:59:00Z
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span>Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Six years ago, my wife left me for one of my best friends. I was devastated. She refused to tell me why she left, other than to say she did not want "<em>this life</em>," and I was unsure what that meant. The worst thing for me was that I didn't know she was unhappy. Looking back, I realized I was a nice husband, but not a good husband.<br /><br />I'd never heard of you before my divorce until a friend of mine said I should listen to you. At first, I thought you were an arrogant Ph.D. who liked to hear herself talk, but I kept listening, and listening, and listening. Before I knew it, you had me really look at myself in every aspect of my life. Do the right thing; be nice; tell the truth - all things we learn in kindergarten but forget as adults. <br /><br />I am far from perfect, but thanks to you, I am moving closer to it. I have found a new best friend - and I married her. We dated over two years (my children are adults). She is way above me, and I love her more than I thought I could love anyone. I wake up every morning, see her and remind myself this isn't a dream. I'm so glad I continued to listen to you and didn't let my first impression hold sway. I'm very grateful for you, Dr. Laura. Keep it up!<br /><br />Lawrence<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-11-28T18:59:00Z
Finding My Purpose
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finding-My-Purpose/-557082119559277998.html
2018-11-27T18:59:00Z
2018-11-27T18:59:00Z
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span>Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I was in the kitchen baking cookies when you asked to put your hand up if you are adoring and sweet and if your man would climb a mountain and carry you down and think nothing of it. I dropped my spatula, shot my hand up and shouted "Me! Me! That's me!" My dog came running to see who I was talking to! And I immediately picked up the phone, snapped a picture of the fresh baked cookies and sent it to my husband with a kiss emoji. <br /><br />We live on a farm. My husband is a very hardworking farmer, a real man, and I am his adoring farm wife, raising two kids, two dogs, one cat and three chickens. I keep the kitchen warm with fresh bakery and warm meals for him to come home to. This man has done so much more for me and my family, and I know he will always drop anything for his adoring wife. In return, he knows that he will always come home to a hot meal, laundered clothes, a clean house, happy kids, and most importantly, a loving and affectionate wife. We will always have time for each other, and no task or favor is too big or too small, even if the purpose is just to put a smile on one another's face. <br /><br />Because of you, Dr. Laura, I stopped searching for value in a career, and found my purpose in my home, as a wife and mother. I get out of bed every morning, wake my kids up for school and wonder how I could have possible wanted to miss out on those special moments each and every day with them.<br /><br />My husband's adoring and sexy girlfriend, <br /><br />Jeri Lynn<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-11-27T18:59:00Z
I Didn't Treat Kindly
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Didnt-Treat-Kindly/180304725154441066.html
2018-11-26T18:59:00Z
2018-11-26T18:59:00Z
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span>I spent the last decade of my marriage occasionally being my husband's girlfriend, but mostly being a nagging wife. I assumed that because I married a good man who loved me that I could put in minimal effort, and he'd "understand" because he loved me and loved the family we made. I was wrong.<br /></span><span><br /></span><span>He needed me. He needed me to love him. He needed me to want him. He needed me to need him. Instead, I relied on him and demanded of him without being grateful. After all, that's what his job was as a husband, right? Well, he lost interest in being my one-sided support, and as a result, lost interest in me. <br /></span><span><br /></span><span>Life is hard, children are challenging, and marriage takes work. I can tell you that any inconvenience you face when caring for your husband is microscopic compared to the pain you'll feel when he realizes he deserves so much more. Please let other women learn from my foolishness.</span><span><br /></span><span><br /></span><span>A Wife Who Should Have Known Better</span> <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-11-26T18:59:00Z
Love My Corny Jokes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Love-My-Corny-Jokes/-896821020930977213.html
2018-11-21T18:59:00Z
2018-11-21T18:59:00Z
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span>My husband and I have seven children between the ages of 2 and 13, and every night we go around the dinner table to discuss what happened during everyone's day at school, at home, or at work. When I heard about Corny Joke Day, we did our own corny jokes at home last night. My children are in the perfect age range for that kind of humor. They had a lot of good ones, and we were all cracking up. Thanks for helping to make a lot of laughter at our table!<br /><br />We all agreed that the best "<em>family</em>" corny joke was from our 9-year-old daughter. The joke is: <br /><br />Q: What do you call a nosy pepper?<br /><br />A: Jalapeno business! (sounds like "<em>all up in your business</em>").<br /><br /><br />We'll be listening today while we do our Thanksgiving baking!<br /><br />Lyndsay <br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-11-21T18:59:00Z
Raising Them With Values
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-Them-With-Values/780057851322442851.html
2018-11-20T18:59:00Z
2018-11-20T18:59:00Z
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><br />I am a thirty-three-year-old wife and stay-at-home mom to four children ranging in age from 4 to 9. I'm beginning to feel like a mythical creature in a generation of "<em>me</em>" monsters, a generation that was raised to be self-absorbed, vain, and impatient. We're raising our children to be functioning, well-adjusted members of society with morals and values, and teaching them to stand up for what is right even though "<em>right</em>" is constantly ridiculed and "<em>wrong</em>" is applauded and accepted.<br /><br />My nine-year-old son is at the age where he is embarrassed by his mother. My husband took our son aside and told him that he needed to appreciate and respect having a mom who cared. He needed to show me that he was grateful for me and to cut out the "<em>I'm too cool for a mom</em>" attitude. My son apologized and now he gives me a hug (even in unpopular places) and tells me thanks. I'm grateful for a husband who, even though he grew up with a mother who didn't care, is man enough to show his son how to respect his mother. My son has even said, "<em>I hope I can marry someone who will care for me and my kids like you do.</em>" It made my mommy heart soar, making the endless piles of laundry, dishes, volunteering and shuttling well worth it. My girls also say proudly "<em>We want to be a mom like you when we grow up!</em>" <br /><br />I hope there are other mythical creatures raising boys to be men for our girls to marry, and girls to be moms and loving wives for our boys to take care of. Thanks for nagging the few of us who still care!<br /><br />Kirsten<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-11-20T18:59:00Z
Learning Young
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-Young/369112006537001471.html
2018-11-19T18:59:00Z
2018-11-19T18:59:00Z
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span>Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm a junior in high school and my mom and I are huge fans of your show. Because I am 17 and saving for a car, my mom allows me to drive her car to work. Every time I do that, I listen to your program, and I am so thankful I've had the opportunity to listen starting at a young age.<br /><br />I've grown up in a Christian, conservative home my whole life, and I've always been told to save myself for marriage and to choose the right man, but I've never been told WHY I should do so. Listening to you has not only taught me why waiting until marriage shows how a man will respect and commit to you, but I've also learned how to choose wisely, why I should never put my future children in daycare, and simply how to handle everyday situations by doing the right thing.<br /><br />Going through life with the knowledge I've gained from listening to you ensures me that I will live a happier and less complex life. You educate people the right way, without the nonsense of "<em>feelings</em>" and "<em>emotions</em>." Thank you!<br /><br />Alivia<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-11-19T18:59:00Z
The 'Right' To Be A Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Right-To-Be-A-Mom/-480551451342522787.html
2018-11-16T18:59:00Z
2018-11-16T18:59:00Z
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span>My childhood friend and I are both 44. I am married and childless; she is shacking up with her boyfriend and got pregnant but lost the baby late term. Despite an incredibly unstable relationship with the boyfriend, she is trying to get pregnant again and says she has a "<em>right</em>" to be a mother. I plan to share the following with her, knowing she may not talk to me again. Perhaps these thoughts will help others reconsider having a child out of wedlock:<br /><br />I waited until I was married before trying to get pregnant. I was honest enough with myself to admit I could not do it on my own and knew (thanks to listening to you) that the child would have its best chance at succeeding in life if I could provide a stable, committed, two-parent environment. By the time that was possible, I was 37 and I miscarried. I also had to have a hysterectomy. Despite this, I have never regretted putting the happiness and well-being of my potential child before my own desire to be a mother. Through listening to you, I learned what my feminist mother was not able to teach me - that a mother's first and foremost duty is to make an honest assessment BEFORE getting pregnant as to whether she is bringing her child into a stable environment emotionally, mentally, and financially. A child's right to that environment supersedes a woman's ticking biological clock and her "<em>right</em>" to motherhood. A mother is supposed to sacrifice for her child, not sacrifice the child to meet her own needs and wants. While it hurts that I could not have my own child and adoption is too expensive for us right now, I'd rather have that pain any day than know I intentionally hurt my child by putting my biological clock ahead of waiting until the time was right for the child.<br /><br />Shavaun<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-11-16T18:59:00Z
Finding My Match
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finding-My-Match/409207335768159013.html
2018-11-14T18:59:00Z
2018-11-14T18:59:00Z
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span>I've always loved your program and your conviction for standing for what is right and not following the crowd. My mom stayed at home to raise my brother and me while our dad worked as a police officer. I knew from a young age that I wanted to be a mom and would not settle for any man who didn't agree that I would stay at home with our future children.<br /><br />I dated a man who was talking marriage, and I told him I'd work until we had children, and then I'd stay at home to raise them. He laughed at me, telling me I would never find a man who was okay with his wife "<em>sitting around all day while he was hard at work!</em>" I said I'd take that chance even if it meant I wouldn't get married at all. I broke up with him then and there. <br /><br />Well, guess what? I DID find a man who had the same values I do, and we've been married for 15 years. I've been a stay-at-home mom since my first bout of morning sickness twelve years ago. It's the best job in the world. My generation seems to have it all mixed up. I can't even imagine sending my six-week-old baby into the arms of a nanny or a daycare facility for them to do MY job. Your influence, along with my mom's influence, is the reason I feel like one of the very few moms nowadays who has everything put together "<em>just right.</em>" I have a happy husband, happy kiddos, and the life I always dreamed of. Thank you for your encouragement of us stay-at-home moms!<br /><br />Jenni <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-11-14T18:59:00Z
Investing Everything
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Investing-Everything/-757451149523172284.html
2018-11-13T18:59:00Z
2018-11-13T18:59:00Z
<br />I am married to the love of my life and we have two children. I was getting my Master's degree in Gifted Education when I got pregnant with our first. I never finished my degree, and I have no regrets. Not only am I a stay-at-home mom, but I also homeschool our little ones. It's FUN!<br /><br />We also have a little game in our house. Whenever my husband gets home from work, my daughter, 9, and my son, 6, and I all dance around and shout "<em>Mommy's boyfriend is home! Mommy's boyfriend is home!"</em> His homecoming is the highlight of our day, and he knows it! It never gets old.<br /><br />I've had lots of friends, family and former co-workers with whom I taught for years tell me I am wasting my life and my talents by not continuing as a teacher and not finishing my Master's degree. But it takes just one look at my little son while he plays with a circuit board and a look at my daughter as she sings to know I'm not wasting anything - I'm investing EVERYTHING!<br /><br />Betty <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-11-13T18:59:00Z
When I changed, He Changed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-I-changed,-He-Changed/-536105881741030136.html
2018-11-12T18:59:00Z
2018-11-12T18:59:00Z
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span>Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband and I have been married for 32 years. I chose wisely, but I didn't always treat kindly, and we almost didn't make it. When our three children were teens, we started to have differences in parenting styles and instead of being unified, we were divided. We fought in front of the kids and I treated my husband with hostility and disrespect. He left and had an affair. We were separated for nine months. My friends told me to "<em>leave the bastard</em>," but I saw what our separation was doing to our children. Not having their father in the house was worse than our arguing. I still loved this man and realized that divorce would be the death of the beautiful family we had created. So, I decided that even if it took five years of work to save my marriage, it was worth it in the long run.<br /><br />It took <em>almost</em> five years. When I changed, he changed. The problem wasn't ALL me, but I knew that divorce was only going to create a lifetime of problems for all of us and that was going to be painful forever. That was ten years ago, and now, there isn't a day that we don't look at one another and are happy we worked it out. Our love is deeper and stronger than ever. <br /><br />Marnie<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-11-12T18:59:00Z
Surprise!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Surprise!/741116122800254321.html
2018-11-09T18:59:00Z
2018-11-09T18:59:00Z
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span>When I married the love of my life seven years ago, I had a good job making good money, and I was home every night. We bought a house, an SUV, and we had a baby boy. Then due to cutbacks, I lost that well-paying job. I got another one, but it didn't pay as well, and it became clear we would eat through our savings within the year.<br /><br />I take my role as provider and protector seriously, so this was hard to face. I was offered a job that paid even more than the first one I had, but I would be on the road for three weeks at a time. How could I leave my family unguarded for three weeks? My wife and I came up with a plan. I would do this job for five years, enough to save enough so we could live on a smaller wage. As for how to protect my family, we got security cameras, an alarm system and two large German Shepherd dogs. We also bought a pump-action shotgun and I taught my wife how to use it.<br /><br />A year later, all things were going well. One night I had the chance to come home early, and I thought it would be romantic to surprise my wife. It was about 10PM when I arrived. I crept up to the door, silently slid my key in the door, shut off the alarm and then I heard a deep growl. Our two dogs were ten feet away, ready to eat anyone who had come in. When they recognized me, all was okay, so I made my way up the stairs hoping they hadn't woken my wife up, only to find I was staring down the barrel of a shotgun held by my nightgown-wearing, barefoot wife. She lowered the gun and said "<em>Well, you're home early! Darn near got yourself shot!</em>" <br /><br />And I just got offered a well-paying job where I'll be home every night, so I no longer need to worry about my family (after that incident, I worried a lot less anyway)!<br /><br />Jeff<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-11-09T18:59:00Z
Never Again!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Never-Again!/-779000943118080521.html
2018-11-08T18:59:00Z
2018-11-08T18:59:00Z
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span>Hi Dr. Laura:<br /></span><span><br /></span><span>Twenty years ago, I shacked up with an abusive man. I let this abysmal situation go on for six years, and then I found your program. You gave me the strength and desire to leave. I went home to my mother and vowed never again to let a man treat me without the respect I deserve.<br /></span><span><br /></span><span>The next man I met had to meet my mother first before he could take me on a date. He had to open doors for me, call on me and respect me. And he did. <em>This </em>man did not expect me to be an "<em>unpaid whore</em>." He married me, and we built a beautiful life together.</span><span><br /></span><span><br />Today, I am the stay-at-home mom to a wonderful four-year-old son, and my husband and I have been married for fifteen happy years. Recently, you've also inspired me to get healthier, and each morning I spend an hour on the treadmill listening to your podcast and thinking of ways to make my husband's day better!<br /></span><span><br /></span><span>Jackie</span><br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-11-08T18:59:00Z
Proud That I Made The Right Decision
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Proud-That-I-Made-The-Right-Decision/-743680691205065874.html
2018-11-07T18:59:00Z
2018-11-07T18:59:00Z
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span>Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I had a similar experience to a listener who emailed you last week. I was a stay-at-home mom (my kids are now all young adults), and when my youngest was in second grade, the school had a "<em>mother's day lunch</em>" for kids in her grade and their moms.<br /><br />My daughter was very excited to have me there, as she had heard from our older kids what a special day it was. As she was about to read her letter about me, she was interrupted by a few of the working moms who arrived late to the event. One of the late-arriving women commented that she "<em>blew out of a meeting</em>" to get there, and another one said out loud "<em>I hope this doesn't run too long!</em>" <br /><br />My daughter waited patiently to begin again, and I felt so proud as she recounted how we loved to draw together in the afternoons before she started her homework. Her wish for me was that I could get a day off from cooking, cleaning and doing the dishes. As I write this, I still feel the pride I felt that day fifteen years ago. I'm proud that my husband and I made our family our priority, proud that our children were with me every day and were loved all day, every day. Thank you, Dr. Laura, for all you do to encourage people to keep their priorities straight!<br /><br />Kate <br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-11-07T18:59:00Z
The Impact Of Divorce
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Impact-Of-Divorce/575297845053888071.html
2018-11-06T18:59:00Z
2018-11-06T18:59:00Z
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><br />Recently a friend asked for my advice when she was considering divorcing. My marriage broke up several years ago, and I told her it was one of the biggest regrets of my life. If I had to do it all over again, I would have definitely worked at saving the marriage.<br /><br />I told her of all the pain I've caused my children because they have to go back-and-forth to separate households. I told her how heartbroken I am to have broken up my children's family. I told her how my future grandchildren will have to go to two different houses to see grandma and grandpa. I told her just the thought of all that breaks my heart. <br /><br />I also recommended to her your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000FC1PIO/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a>.</em>" Unfortunately, I discovered that book AFTER my own marriage had ended but can report that she said that the things I told her AND reading your book has made all the difference, and she has decided to stay with her husband and work on the marriage. It made me happy to have her say that I had a hand in saving a marriage. I am thrilled to be a part of sparing her family such pain and grief. So even though I found you after I could save my own marriage, your wisdom has helped me have a hand in saving another's marriage. Thank you for helping so many of us every day.<br /><br /><br />Karlie<br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-11-06T18:59:00Z
Love Them Well, And They Will Love You Back
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Love-Them-Well,-And-They-Will-Love-You-Back/864422069042501404.html
2018-11-05T18:59:00Z
2018-11-05T18:59:00Z
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span>Nine years ago, I was diagnosed with Stage Four colon cancer. I had to wear a colostomy bag for three months after they removed twenty inches of colon!<br /><br />My husband got in the shower every day from day one to clean and replace my bag. I could hardly stomach the idea. He held my head and cleaned me up after I got sick from chemotherapy. He did that for eleven months. <br /><br />He wasn't always this man. When I met him, he was uptight and angry. I LOVED him into the man he is today. If you love someone, you keep showing them that you love them, and if they're good men, that love will come back in spades. We've been married for thirty years and obviously have been through a lot. We just keep getting stronger.<br /><br />I'm amazed at the women who call in and talk to you about their husbands and who just don't "<em>get</em>" it. Love them well, and they will love you back with the same intensity.<br /><br />Gloria<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-11-05T18:59:00Z
It's Not Luck, It's Work!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Not-Luck,-Its-Work!/-137257454652280784.html
2018-11-02T17:59:00Z
2018-11-02T17:59:00Z
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span>I've been married for 32 years, and my husband and I have had the privilege of raising two daughters. I stayed home with them and jumped in with both feet, teaching religious education, being a "<em>room mom</em>" at school, baking cupcakes, and getting up at the crack of dawn for years to make lunches for them. It was important that we ate dinner together every night that was possible, and we MADE it possible.<br /><br />Looking back now that are girls are educated young adults, happy and living on their own, I am so glad we made them a priority. When others see our family, however, they tell us how "<em>lucky</em>" we are. I'm tired of hearing that word. My husband and I are happy and when we're in a crowd or at a party, it's noticeable. He still has that twinkle in his eye and he still touches the small of my back as he leads me into a room, but I guess we're just "<em>lucky</em>." We talk, laugh and respect each other. We've learned the art of give and take. When he trips, I grab his arm. When I stumble, he catches me. We still hold hands. But I guess we're just "<em>lucky.</em>"<br /><br />That word has consistently been thrown at me throughout my life. Having a good marriage and still being deeply in love is just "<em>luck</em>," I guess. Having two kinds, respectful, giving, well-adjusted daughters is just "<em>lucky</em>." The people who toss that word at us don't have what we have. They're envious. They didn't work for it as we did, but it's easier to think that all these blessings are just a roll of the dice. But we know they are not. So, as I finish this email, I'm running upstairs to freshen my lipstick before my husband gets home. I plan to look in the mirror and smile at my roll of the dice!<br /><br />Julie<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-11-02T17:59:00Z
The List
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-List/917088952777602724.html
2018-11-01T17:59:00Z
2018-11-01T17:59:00Z
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span>I am a mom of eight kids and married 45 years to my best friend. One night, all I could think of was the things I did "<em>wrong</em>" as a mom, and one of my daughters called me during the time I was thinking that I had been a bad mom.<br /><br />The next day, she sent me a list of all the things I had done well, and I wanted to share them with you:<br /><br />1. You taught us to be active and eat well.<br />2. You made exercising fun and a part of our lives.<br />3. You never let us waste time watching TV or playing video games.<br />4. You made us do chores.<br />5. You taught us to work hard.<br />6. You taught us to be smart with money.<br />7. You never gave us your credit card to use.<br />8. You never cared about name brands or keeping up with the Joneses.<br />9. You always served the less fortunate and taught us to do the same.<br />10. You taught us how to cook.<br />11. You always made food for the friends who came over.<br />12. You always encouraged us and supported our hobbies, even when we were crazy about Irish dancing!<br />13. You taught us to listen to Dr. Laura.<br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura for all you have helped me do as a mother!<br /><br />Diana<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-11-01T17:59:00Z
I Love You Mom!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Love-You-Mom!/255858214258009793.html
2018-10-31T17:59:00Z
2018-10-31T17:59:00Z
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span>Last May, I was invited to my child's kindergarten class, where the moms were to receive a day of "<em>pampering</em>" from their own children. Of the 25 students, only 7 mothers were there. One arrived late, two left very early, and one had her cell phone going off the entire time. After my son painted my nails and brought me fresh fruit and "<em>spa</em>" water, the kids lined up to read letters to their moms.<br /><br />In the letters, the children mentioned that their moms bought them cool toys, or they went on epic vacations or had great shopping dates with their mom. I worried when I realized my son wouldn't be able to brag about any of those things. I was a stay-at-home mom, and we didn't travel to exotic locations or get the coolest new toys. <br /><br />However, when my six-year-old took to the podium, he stated loudly and proudly:<br /><br /><em>I love you, mom! I love you because you never put me in extended </em>daycare<em> after school. I love you because you make me happy when I am sad. I love you because you make me real </em>meatballs<em>. I love you because you don't buy store-made meatballs. I love you because you are the best mom on the whole earth. </em> <br /><br />Dr. Laura, I never sat more proudly in my entire life. I knew then and there that my job as a mother was to provide for my kids the life that no salaried job ever could. <br /><br />Kelly<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-10-31T17:59:00Z
Making The Choice To Put My Family First
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-The-Choice-To-Put-My-Family-First/-698320894342369287.html
2018-10-30T17:59:00Z
2018-10-30T17:59:00Z
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span>I've only been a listener for a few months, but what a change it has made! When I first started listening, I thought you were terribly out of touch and rude to your callers. That is until I realized what you were saying was one hundred percent accurate!! You just had the guts to say what no one else did and what the callers needed to hear. <br /><br />Flash forward to now, and I'm trying every day to be my husband's girlfriend. We took our four-year-old son out of a prestigious pre-school daycare, which was a hard decision, and many of our friends thought we were making a mistake. Even my wonderful husband at first questioned if it were the right move. It wasn't until I explained to him that our son asked me every day if I could just stay home and love him that my husband agreed it was the best decision.<br /><br />I'm so thankful I found your program because you've encouraged me to take these steps. I regret that I waited this long to put my family before my career, but now I preach your message to all my newly married friends and the ones who are expecting, encouraging them to make their <em><strong>family</strong></em>, and not their careers, their top priority. Please keep up the good work.<br /><br />Julie<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-10-30T17:59:00Z
The Commander of Our Household
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Commander-of-Our-Household/932062711927042158.html
2018-10-29T17:59:00Z
2018-10-29T17:59:00Z
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span>Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />During our courtship, my husband and I decided I would stay home if we had children while he worked to provide for us. I've now been a stay-at-home mom for eleven years, and for the last two years, we've homeschooled our two kidlets. <br /><br />We recently attended a fancy awards dinner with lots of Washington, DC "<em>elites.</em>" My date, of course, was my husband, who is a US Army Officer. I was engaged in small talk with the woman seated next to me at the dinner when she asked: "<em>So, are you JUST a wife, or do you do something?</em>" Just as I was about to make a snarky reply, my husband jumped in and said "<em>She's not just a wife. She's the commander of our household. She's an educator, chef, taxi driver, nurse for skinned knees, and budget analyst. I could NEVER do what I do without her support!</em>"<br /><br />Needless to say, the woman was incredulous. My husband is a quiet man, but it's amazing to know that in the heat of "<em>battle</em>," he has my back. Thank you for what you do, and for adding to my arsenal when I am out there alone.<br /><br />Amanda<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-10-29T17:59:00Z
Romance Novel Moments
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Romance-Novel-Moments/-586606090594987491.html
2018-10-26T17:59:00Z
2018-10-26T17:59:00Z
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span>My husband and I have been married for 15 years, and we have a grand, sweeping romance. He has done many sweet things for me over the years, and I thought you'd like this story.<br /><br />About two weeks ago, I asked my husband if, while he and our daughters were out on "<em>nature walks</em>" in our backyard, he could pick up some brightly colored leaves so I could use them for fall decorating projects. That afternoon, they came back with only pine needles and cones, because it was too early for the bright colored leaves.<br /><br />Then, the other day, my husband came home with a shopping bag full of the colored leaves I had wanted. While he was doing errands, he had stopped by the side of the road at a public forestry area near our home and spent 30 minutes filling a bag with just the kind of leaves I needed, because he knew it would make me happy. I consider that one of my "<em>romance novel</em>" moments!<br /><br />Stacy<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-10-26T17:59:00Z
Reminding Me Of My True Priorities
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Reminding-Me-Of-My-True-Priorities/-523749710343933390.html
2018-10-25T17:59:00Z
2018-10-25T17:59:00Z
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span>I began listening to your program 27 years ago when I was a mother of an infant with another on the way. I was a successful business woman, making the same salary as my husband. We owned a nice home and cars which made the dream of staying home with my kids a distant opportunity. <br /><br />I'd listen to you and want to be there for my children. What I found was, once I finally made the decision to leave, doors opened with new opportunities. I was able do consulting work part-time. My hours were flexible, so I worked only when my kids were in school or after they went to bed. I was able to successfully work this way for more than 20 years, so I was there to raise my kids, make a home and be available to my husband. This is not a story of unicorns and rainbows, but making my children and family a priority, which if anyone tries it, is hard work. <br /><br />Once my son entered his senior year in high school I went back to school to get a doctoral degree. I now have a wonderful position as a professor at a leading university. I believe I am making a difference in the lives of the young people I teach and mentor. But I must thank you for reminding me of my true priorities. Careers are available to us throughout our lives and not just when we're young. It's so critical to be present to love and nurture our children when they're under our roof. Careers can wait. <br /><br />Keep telling the truth, Dr. Laura. You never know who is listening and what a difference you may make in their lives.<br /><br />Jenny<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-10-25T17:59:00Z
Taking The Emotion Out Of Decision Making
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-The-Emotion-Out-Of-Decision-Making/-64163699798798551.html
2018-10-24T17:59:00Z
2018-10-24T17:59:00Z
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br />I am 40 years old, married nine years to the love of my life, and we have an 8-year-old. Your radio program makes me feel normal when I hear your common-sense approach to things. I am a strong, independent, conservative woman who has decided to stay home and take care of my family.<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Living in southern California, there are many times I get questioned about my life choices - having only one child, marrying a man who travels for work, not working myself, having no debt and other things the moms I know talk about. I've defended myself and made excuses, but after listening to you for the last year, I've come to some realizations. Namely:</span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /><ol>
<li>It's no one else's business the choices my family makes.</li>
<br />
<li>I am not sorry that I am a kind, reasonable and generous person, who can also say "<em>no.</em>"</li>
</ol></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">I am finally okay with who I am as a woman, wife, and mother, and listening to you has helped me achieve that. Your advice to others to take the emotion out of decision-making always leads me back to the fact that I am happy and grateful to be right here where I am. Thank you.</span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Samantha</span> <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-10-24T17:59:00Z
I'll Fight The World With You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ill-Fight-The-World-With-You/-159171108305779385.html
2018-10-23T17:59:00Z
2018-10-23T17:59:00Z
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">When I was in the 11th grade, I took an information technology class. We would email our completed assignments to the teacher who would grade them and mail them back. When I got my report card, I had a C minus, even though all my assignments had been graded at B+ or better. My teacher told me I hadn't turned in all my assignments, which of course was not the case. We were told to clear out our email inboxes weekly, so there was no proof I'd done and received grades for the work. I thought the teacher was either disorganized or had it out for me. <br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">My dad believed me, and we set up a new email account so that when I mailed assignments to the teacher, he also got a copy. We saved it all on a disk and had all the assignments date-stamped at the school. The next semester, when this happened again, I showed the teacher my evidence, but she still refused to give me the proper grade. I went home and told my Dad.<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">The next day, I was called to the principal's office, and there sat my Dad and the teacher. The teacher sheepishly apologized to me and the principal said my grade would be adjusted for that term and for the prior term as well. Then the principal did something I'll never forget - he shook my hand and then my Dad's hand and said to him: "<em>The way you dealt with that is how fathers should deal with all situations.</em>" Then he turned to me and said, "<em>You are lucky to have a MAN as your father!</em>" On the way home, my Dad said: "<em>If you do wrong, I'll let them serve you whatever punishment is justified, but if you're right I'll fight the world with you.</em>" Now that I'm a husband and father, I do my best to remember times like that when my Dad had my back, and I do the same for MY son.<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Jeff</span> <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-10-23T17:59:00Z
I am a Homemaker
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-am-a-Homemaker/-930767195812659344.html
2018-10-22T17:59:00Z
2018-10-22T17:59:00Z
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br />I recently received a notice from a company that is compiling an "<em>alma mater</em>" directory for the high school I attended, a prestigious, all-girls Catholic college preparatory school. Most of the women in my graduating class went on to have successful careers after complete college. I, too, went on and got a bachelor's degree in journalism and then additional teaching credentials.<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Wanting to ensure my current contact information was correct, I called the company putting together the directory. The person on the other end asked if I had a title or job position I wanted to include. I thought for a minute and then said "<em>homemaker</em>." She chuckled and asked if I really wanted her to put that down, and when I said "<em>yes</em>," she sighed and the call ended. <br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">I am my husband's girlfriend of 22 years and the proud mother of three children who have never been in daycare. I didn't work outside the home until my youngest was in school, and only then during the hours she wasn't home. I make sure my home is run smoothly and managed well, with a home-cooked dinner on the table almost every night. My family is warm, loving and I wouldn't change a thing.<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Thank you, Dr. Laura, for validating what we "<em>homemakers</em>" do. Because of your constant defense and uplifting of the unsung and often belittled heroines of our culture, I was able to say with pride and confidence, "<em>I am a homemaker.</em>"<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Toni</span> <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-10-22T17:59:00Z
Glorious Creatures
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Glorious-Creatures/975002851671728256.html
2018-10-19T17:59:00Z
2018-10-19T17:59:00Z
<br />I've found that to be my husband's girlfriend doesn't always take a lot of grand gestures. For example, I don't just pick up his shirts from the cleaners. I take off the twisty thing that holds the hangers together, I undo and discard the plastic bags and paper shoulder covers, and I remove the ID tags that are stapled to the buttonhole. That way, he can just grab a shirt and get dressed in the morning without dealing with all that stuff. <br /><br />I find that doing these little things for him throughout the day provides me the time and excuse to be thinking about him at random moments. That makes me miss him, which pays dividends when he does get home, if you catch my drift. It makes him happy and it makes me happy.<br /><br />Thank you for your ongoing guidance. If I only listened to the popular culture of the other moms on the playground benches, I would have no idea what glorious creatures men really are. <br /><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span>Sara <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-10-19T17:59:00Z
Breaking Bad Habits For My Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Breaking-Bad-Habits-For-My-Marriage/418730332063325326.html
2018-10-18T17:59:00Z
2018-10-18T17:59:00Z
<br /><span style="font-size: xx-small;">I want to thank you for nagging, because it saved my marriage. <br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">My first husband passed away after 22 wonderful years of marriage. I remarried more than ten years ago, but things became difficult seven years into the marriage. Basically, I became very critical of my husband after he told me he was no longer attracted to me, and we were no longer intimate. As you are aware, this can be a vicious circle. </span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br />He lost his attraction because I had gained weight, and I gained MORE weight because I didn't care any longer. Because I didn't care, I became critical of his every move. In plain English, I was a bitch. I'm not sure how or why we stayed together, but I'm glad we did. <br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">After I found you on SiriusXM, I started to lose weight. I'm now down 30 pounds and have about 15 to go. I also started being nice to him again, no matter what his response. I complimented every little thing I could find. Although it took some time, a few months ago, we started to really talk again, and soon he was the man I fell in love with years ago. He now tells me how much he loves me, and we are like newlyweds again. Thank you for helping me see how to get my husband back again. I also wanted you to know that your impact is far wider than just the people you talk with on the air.</span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Martina</span><br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-10-18T17:59:00Z
In Case of Emergency
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/In-Case-of-Emergency/-402526150764083432.html
2018-10-17T17:59:00Z
2018-10-17T17:59:00Z
<br />Thank you for saving me from myself many times! You helped me choose wisely and treat my amazing alpha male husband kindly (for 23 years and counting). You’ve taught me to be polite, kind (yet stand my ground), to communicate and to be a role model for the things I want to see in my children. Because of you, I pick my battles, I let my kids fail sometimes and make mistakes, I stand between evil and the helpless and most importantly, I fiercely embrace my role as mama to four kids my husband and I are raising to be kind, empathetic, dignified, hardworking and hopeful adults.<br /><br />All our kids have been raised listening to you in the car, which leads me to a cute story about my 7-year-old son. In case you ever wonder if the sweet little ears driving around with mama ARE listening to you, let me tell you this:<br /><br />When my son was filling out his “Emergency Card” information at the beginning of school (yes, he was filling it out himself), he filled in the blank for “the number to call in case of emergency” with…. you guessed it…<br /><br />1-800-375-2872<br /><br />I’m still laughing!<br /><br />Tara<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-10-17T17:59:00Z
Past Regrets
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Past-Regrets/275756825105172447.html
2018-10-16T17:59:00Z
2018-10-16T17:59:00Z
<br />Hello Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've been listening to you for a few years, but not early enough to save myself from a drastic mistake. Regretfully, I am proof that divorce is devastating to one's children, but I smugly thought my ex-husband and I did it the right way and were the exception to the rule.<br /><br />My husband and I divorced when our kids were young. We both remarried within a few years. Our divorce was amicable, and we agreed never to put our kids in the middle of any disagreement. We did not speak poorly of the other nor did we use the kids as leverage in arguments. We thought we had it all worked out - no drama, so no problems, right? WRONG.<br /><br />Although everything seemed to be going smoothly, I had a nagging in my heart that all was not okay. Our kids are young adults now, but I literally laid out a timeline of all that transpired in my daughter's younger years. The concentration of life-altering events I had cast on her from ages 6 to 8 were monumental. She's in counseling for a host of issues that can be clearly attributed to the divorce, but I realize now that I caused her that trauma. I adore her to pieces, but I pulled the rug out from under her. So for all your listeners who think they're the exception to the divorce rule, the remarriage rule or the custody rule, I can tell them they are NOT the exception. You WILL cause life-long problems for your kids. I only wish I had been listening to you back then.<br /><br />One Sad Mom<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-10-16T17:59:00Z
Learning To Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-To-Love/-980399588695117069.html
2018-10-15T17:59:00Z
2018-10-15T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm a long-time listener, and although I've never called you, your advice to others has helped me in more than a thousand ways. Recently, you opened your program talking about anxiety. Many friends call me for my opinion all the time. I usually listen well, but I don't do as well with the love of my life, my husband.<br /><br />I always seem to have an opinion and give him what I think is the best advice for him. However, just because it's what I think, it doesn't make it correct. He prefers for me to just listen. Sometimes, I get so carried away, I offer my advice before he even finishes his sentence. But no more. What you said on the air about just listening and offering verbal support has changed my life.<br /><br />I've already started making the adjustment. Now whenever he wants to talk to me, I listen to the end, and say "<em>I love you, I understand how you feel, I am here for you or I know you'll come to the right decision.</em>"<br /><br />In all our years together, we've never had a BIG fight, but my habit of jumping in has caused some friction between us. Now, our marriage will have one more positive ingredient, thanks to you. I won't add to his anxiety, but instead will be at his side, loving him and listening.<br /><br />Jennifer<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-10-15T17:59:00Z
Wishful Thinking
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Wishful-Thinking/-391070812353134573.html
2018-10-12T17:59:00Z
2018-10-12T17:59:00Z
<br />In my teens and early twenties, I worked at a daycare. When I was 16, a mom asked me to drive her children home after closing. It turned out she was desperate to attend a "<em>happy hour</em>" at a local restaurant. I immediately told her no, but that answer wasn't good enough. I surprised myself when Dr. Laura words flew out of my mouth: "<em>I'm 16, you don't know how I drive, you don't know if I can properly install a car seat or if the car I use is safe, yet you want your babies in the car with me?</em>" She was dumbstruck and labeled me a "<em>brat.</em>" My employer said I had done the right thing, and we were all instructed never to do any "<em>extras</em>" for any mom -- no taxi service, no exceptions to open early or close late, and never attend a birthday party. Some moms would shirk any shred of remaining responsibility, as we were expected to look after their children extensively, including supervising birthday parties while inattentive moms socialized and drank at their leisure. We weren't offered extra compensation, since each mom had the illusion that their child was our favorite, assuming we'd do anything for them. <br /><br />Little did the parents know that as daycare workers we plaster on smiles because we need a paycheck, and we wait with baited breath for closing time. What I remember most is every infamous woman who darkened the daycare's doorway pretending to be a "<em>mommy</em>." These were the mothers who neglected to change a soaked night diaper before dropping their kid off. They were the women who masked a toddler's illness with medicine, whining about making an inconvenient trip to the doctor's, because they'd rather work. <br /><br />Today, I am my husband's girlfriend and my children's stay-at-home mommy. I wouldn't have it any other way.<br /><br />Herta<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-10-12T17:59:00Z
It Gets Better
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Gets-Better/-408777901970030449.html
2018-10-11T17:59:00Z
2018-10-11T17:59:00Z
<br />I recently heard a call from a new mom who was feeling overwhelmed and wasn't "<em>having fun</em>" yet. I remember those first few months and feeling like a bad mom because I wasn't as thrilled as I thought I would be. When my son was a month old, a family friend comforted my husband and me by saying "<em>it gets better!</em>" and that gave me the strength to get through the early days. <br /><br />She was so right. I DID get 100% better, and I love hanging out with my "<em>sidekick</em>" all day now. I wish I knew ahead of time how difficult those first few months would be - new moms are bombarded with social media posts of these beautiful moms who are obsessed with their new babies, and it's really easy to think there is something wrong with those of us who may not be feeling as happy. <br /><br />When my son was around three months old, and I complained to my sister how I was feeling like I was talking to myself all day, she encouraged me to listen to you. There isn't a day that goes by now that we don't have you, Dr. Laura, giving us guidance and a few laughs. I'm gaining little bits of wisdom each day that will serve me for the rest of my life.<br /><br />Thankfully yours,<br /><br />Natalie<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-10-11T17:59:00Z
The Benefits of Being Healthy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Benefits-of-Being-Healthy/46024296339217930.html
2018-10-10T17:59:00Z
2018-10-10T17:59:00Z
<br /><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Dear Dr. Laura:<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">I've been listening to you for decades. I am my husband's girlfriend and my triplets' mom. At 65, I was feeling tired and out of shape. I've always loved hearing about your fitness regimen but kept putting off doing anything myself. I finally decided to get off my butt, so earlier this year I enrolled in Lagree Pilates. It's a challenging program, and one session leaves you sweating and shaking. The instructors encourage you and push you to be your best.<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">I've been going for nine months now, and the benefits go far beyond what I imagined they would be. I am strong and lean and wear the same size I wore in my twenties and thirties. But there is also a mental and emotional difference. I am less stressed and anxious. I feel happier and more energetic. I'm more confident because if you can do what your instructors tell you to do, you can do ANYTHING. <br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Since my classes are at 7 AM, I've also had to become more efficient at work AND at home (our kids are grown adults and out of the house). I'm sure you know all about this because you stick to a fitness regime yourself. You are my inspiration and role model!<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Ann</span> <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-10-10T17:59:00Z
Changing Lives For The Better
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-Lives-For-The-Better/471865150095790142.html
2018-10-09T17:59:00Z
2018-10-09T17:59:00Z
<br /><span style="font-size: xx-small;">My wife and I have struggled with a defiant daughter who took every bit of energy from us until she finally moved out, leaving us devastated. What we did not realize was the years of focusing on the one child had caused our two boys to get seriously overweight, because it was easier to give them what they wanted as we were always busy with our daughter. </span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br />This year, we started to get healthy again. My wife and I have lost over 80 pounds, but our boys still gained weight because we were not making them eat healthy too. I know they're concerned about their weight, so we decided to help them make the better decisions my wife and I had already made. We got rid of all the sodas and bad snacks in the house. We started to make dinner at home and sit and eat as a family every night. On weekends, we take trips to a state park and spend the day outdoors. Our boys are now going on challenging hikes and eating healthy. They've lost some weight, but they are noticeably slimmer. Our oldest boy told us this was easy now, and he was enjoying trying all the different new foods, even if he doesn't like all of them. Our youngest said he no longer has to lay on the bed to put his school pants on in the morning. I'm proud of them for the progress they have made. As a father and husband, I will not fail them ever again. This is not a diet - it's a lifestyle change.<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Thank you for telling people we have the power to change our own lives. Your message gave me the knowledge I needed to change our kids' lives for the better.<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Ephraim</span> <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-10-09T17:59:00Z
Being A Woman Is An Amazing Gift
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-A-Woman-Is-An-Amazing-Gift/-416529229657608591.html
2018-10-08T17:59:00Z
2018-10-08T17:59:00Z
<br /><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">I consider myself a reformed feminist. In my early twenties, I bought the hype that women who acted like men were sexy and empowered. I told my husband proudly that I didn't NEED him, and he assured me he got that message when he had a series of affairs. I got angrier and angrier, blaming him the whole time. We divorced when he left me for a younger model when my son was 13. <br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">After he left, I met and married a great man. It was from my now husband that I learned, while we were dating, the truth about men and women. I learned that being a woman is an amazing gift, and that men are meant to be men. I learned that being bitchy isn't sexy, and that being soft and sweet gets me adoration and comfort I only dreamed about. I learned that being kind is more important than being right, and that letting a man open your car door is a way of making him feel like a real man.</span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br />My son is an adult now and is getting married soon to a sweet young lady, who I like a lot. They talk about having kids, and their plan is for her to be a stay-at-home mom. I've heard people question her about that choice, and I've flown to her defense. I bought her <em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000FC1PIO/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em> as a shower gift. It took ME fifty years to get this right, but my son and his fiancée already get it. There's hope for the world!</span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br />Laura</span> </span><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-10-08T17:59:00Z
Finding My Path
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finding-My-Path/-27226607378256327.html
2018-10-05T17:59:00Z
2018-10-05T17:59:00Z
<br /><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">I'm 35 years old, and I found your program six months ago. I have listened every day since then. Early on, I heard you say you were a "<em>recovering feminist</em>," and I thought "<em>what is that??</em>" Having gone to an elite, liberal arts university, I thought the feminist narrative was the TRUTH. I never thought to question it, but after listening to you, I realized that this was only one side of a very specific agenda.<br /> </span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">The feminist movement broke down traditions, values, and norms that protected women. In my 20s, I always thought there was something wrong with me, but now I realize that I was trying to fit into a social structure that is very broken. I stopped dating last year after finding myself in yet another bad relationship. Now I focus on my work, hobbies, groups, and charities. I've gotten off every form of social media, and that's the best decision I made. Although I'd rather not be single, I'm very happy with my life. And best of all, despite being stupid for most of my adult life, I escaped without diseases, marriage mistakes or unwanted children. Still, I won't settle until I find a good man who is willing to lay down his life for me and treats me like the dignified woman I am. <br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">I know you always say we must choose wisely. If I do end up getting engaged, I promise to call you to get your blessing! I didn't have the best role model for parents, so I thank you for teaching me all the things I should have learned growing up. I'm finally feeling a sense of confidence because I know I am doing the right thing. </span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Nicole</span> <br /></span><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-10-05T17:59:00Z
Gentlemen Still Exist
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Gentlemen-Still-Exist/-543562847919312214.html
2018-10-04T17:59:00Z
2018-10-04T17:59:00Z
<br /><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">While I was evacuating from Hurricane Florence for the second time, I was driving along the empty highway, which was about to be closed due to flooding. My golden retriever and I were in the car listening to you. That was the day you asked men to call in and tell what it meant to carry their wives over the threshold. Tears came to my eyes as I remembered my husband doing just that.<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">I'm a widow now, at 61. My husband died of pancreatic cancer last Thanksgiving Day. The following January, there was an ice storm. I needed to go to the grocery store, so I drove there, and got out, only to notice a big ice-covered area I had to cross. I stood there, just staring. My husband always held my hand to keep me safe. Suddenly, I felt very alone and lonely. That was my first winter without my husband of 32 years. The ice was bad, so I turned to get back into my car. Suddenly, a young man said, "<em>Excuse me, may I help you?</em>" He offered me his arm and made sure I got safely inside. As I was leaving, he was there again, offering his arm. It was so nice to meet a gentleman, not a namby-pamby snowflake just when I needed him. I think he'll carry HIS wife over the threshold one day!</span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Debbie</span> <br /></span><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-10-04T17:59:00Z
The Importance Of Being Your Husband's Girlfriend
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-Of-Being-Your-Husbands-Girlfriend/812927436047408622.html
2018-10-03T17:59:00Z
2018-10-03T17:59:00Z
<br /><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Your phrase about being your husband's girlfriend has really stuck with me, and there are numerous opportunities to practice it! <br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">With our growing family, it's easy to fall back into bad habits of self-pity or complaining but flipping that switch back to "<em>dating</em>" again has made us happier and way more playful! A few weeks back, we moved into a new house, and I was not able to be there when the moving van arrived. When I arrived a bit later, I stopped at the front door before going inside. I rang the doorbell and my husband greeted me, puzzled why I wasn't coming in. I told him that he needed to carry me over the threshold first. I've never seen him grin wider, and he practically jumped through the doorway, picked me up and brought me inside to the confused looks of our 2 and 1-year-old daughters. <br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">He's always a positive guy, but that day he moved with a different kind of energy. That night, we kicked our feet up and watched a football game as our kids played at our feet. My husband looked over and said something I'll never forget. He said, "<em>This is exactly how I pictured my life.</em>" I plan to work hard from now "<em>until dead</em>" to make him think that every single day.</span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Audrey</span> <br /><br /></span><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-10-03T17:59:00Z
Doing The Right Thing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Doing-The-Right-Thing/-520442461926263147.html
2018-10-02T17:59:00Z
2018-10-02T17:59:00Z
<br /><span style="font-size: xx-small;">I was in a parking area talking with a young woman and her two-year-old boy. From in front of the building, we heard a woman screaming every curse word in the book at the top of her lungs. We were stunned and confused as to why she was behaving this way. The little boy got scared and started to cry. <br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">The woman who was cursing then got in a car with someone else at the wheel. As they drove by, I stepped up and said firmly "<em>Shut it!</em>" I then walked back to my conversation, only to discover the car had reversed, and she was now out of the car and coming for me. I walked confidently to this woman and sternly said: "<em>There's a baby right here.</em>" She just glared at me, and as she was turning to go back to her car, she screamed out to me "<em>Bitch!</em>"<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">I've never been in a fight in my life, but I knew that kind of behavior wasn't going to fly. I told the young mom I was with that not only was her son hearing this but who knew who else was nearby and hearing this kind of thing. I definitely feel I did the right thing at the time and hope others will follow the instructions you give on a daily basis to "<em>go do the right thing.</em>" </span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Thank you for always being a motivational role model in my life.<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Josie<br /><br /></span><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-10-02T17:59:00Z
Children Should Be The TOP Priority
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Children-Should-Be-The-TOP-Priority/-74974745507575346.html
2018-10-01T17:59:00Z
2018-10-01T17:59:00Z
<br /><span style="font-size: xx-small;">My husband left me when my boys were under the age of 3. I did not date for 13 years. Then a former high school "<em>flame</em>" contacted me, and we began dating. He was so good to me and my children, and we talked marriage. I know your stance on marrying with children in the home, but I told myself "<em>this is different - we are in love and THIS relationship is an exception.</em>" So, we married, and things changed quickly. There were arguments and disagreements about parenting, discipline, trips with the boys and more.<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">I want to encourage those who think THEIR love is "<em>different</em>" and "<em>Dr. Laura's stance on marrying when children are involved doesn't apply to me</em>" that they're WRONG. It was a huge mistake for all of us. My boys' dad was not involved in our lives and I thought it would be good for them to have a male role model. I was so wrong. I must live with the fact that I have subjected my sons to such dysfunction, control and stress. I have told them that this is not the way a marriage should be and I hope I have not scarred their perception of it.<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">I hope my message can help others realize their love is not an exception and that you, Dr. Laura, are 1000% right. If you marry while children are still at home, love can turn to resentment and bitterness and the children are the ones who suffer the most. I usually adhere to your advice, but unfortunately, I did not on this one huge issue. I hope other listeners are smarter than me and don't make this mistake. Children should be the TOP priority.</span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Tonya</span> <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-10-01T17:59:00Z
Learning The Ropes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-The-Ropes/-177197355728743470.html
2018-09-28T17:59:00Z
2018-09-28T17:59:00Z
<br />I became a mom a little over a year ago. As you often say, the beginning of motherhood is very challenging. I'm doing my best to keep all screens away from my child for as long as I can, so we listen to all three hours of your podcast every day. It's a way to listen and not have something playing on TV.<br /><br />I feel like you've been my own little champion on those lonely days where it was just me and my screaming son. Through your wisdom, I have learned how to be the type of wife that makes our home a happier loving place. My husband called yesterday after work and said, "<em>I can't wait to get home to you!</em>" I know this is because I'm his adorable girlfriend and not his nagging, complaining wife. <br /><br />I am also the mother that I want to be. Despite outside influences telling me that daycare is okay, and I need a career for my "<em>sanity</em>," my child has never had one single day in which he wasn't loved all day. Thank you for helping shape me.<br /><br />Marissa <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-09-28T17:59:00Z
Making The Effort
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-The-Effort/144112640430524644.html
2018-09-27T17:59:00Z
2018-09-27T17:59:00Z
<br /> I want to thank you for your advice on how to keep your husband happy.<br /><br />I am happily married (18 years) and a stay-at-home mom. I make sure when my husband gets home from work that he's coming home to the sexiest version of myself. He appreciates my efforts, and we're completely crazy about each other. We're having the best sex ever, and I think my John Wayne-type husband is the hottest man in the world.<br /><br />Thank you for keeping me on my toes! My husband loves you because he is aware of the advice I've gotten from listening to you. I don't believe there are very many reasons to turn your husband down. I love rocking his world every chance I get!<br /><br />Jenni <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-09-27T17:59:00Z
I Have Your Back Too
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Have-Your-Back-Too/-765971952994183233.html
2018-09-26T17:59:00Z
2018-09-26T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I recently heard the men who told you about carrying their wives over the threshold. My husband did just that in 1974 when we were married. He's now struggling with the decision of starting his own business at 64 years old or remaining in his present job which is quite stressful. I fear for his mental and physical health, so when I heard that segment of your program, I wrote my husband the following letter:<br /><br />
<blockquote><em>When we married, you carried me over the threshold. You said "I've got you, Sandy. From here on out, I will protect you. I'm there for you, we're in this together, and I have your back." I began to notice that when I got up from the table, you covered my food or tea to keep it warm. You lock the door behind you when you leave, to keep me safe. You walk on the street side of the sidewalk to protect me. You turn off the TV or stop reading when I talk. You always give me your undivided attention, and such heartfelt advice when I ask for it. You have all the time in the world for me, even on your busiest days. You're there when my car breaks down, when I bring home a stray, when the washing machine overflows or I leave a burner on. <br /><br /></em><em>I know you are struggling with this decision because you don't want to fail me or stop having my back like you have for almost 45 years. I love you for that, my love, and respect your hesitation. Please know that I have your back too! We can do this together. Thank you for being all that you are.<br /><br /></em><em>Your loving wife, </em><em>Sandy</em></blockquote>
<br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-09-26T17:59:00Z
Growing Up, And Growing Out of Your 'Friends'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Growing-Up,-And-Growing-Out-of-Your-Friends/-134597740366919894.html
2018-09-25T17:59:00Z
2018-09-25T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />My husband and I were close friends with a group of people throughout our twenties. These friends were the kind who espoused you should live your life however you want, but we learned they were really "<em>live your life, however, we think you should</em>."<br /><br />We had set ourselves up for me to be a stay-at-home mom, but we thought we'd have a few years before we had a child. We got pregnant eight months into the marriage and were a little overwhelmed, so we went to our friends for emotional support. We got the complete opposite. One of them actually said "<em>we probably won't be friends much longer,</em>" and "<em>are you going to keep the baby?</em>" My husband told them off. <br /><br />These people were always talking about accepting ALL lifestyle choices, but now I was told how I was throwing away my college degree, wasting my time, losing my identity and being a "<em>kept</em>" woman, and they couldn't be friends if that was our choice. I felt so betrayed.<br />After our son was born, I finally saw those friends through the lens of pity rather than anger. Your program helped me live a life of "<em>revenge</em>" by being happy and untouchable by their judgments. I take responsibility for retaining their friendship when deep down, I really knew what kind of people they were. Since then, we've found a new group of wonderful friends, and through them, I've discovered a new fulfilling hobby I would never have thought of. You made me see my part in the whole thing and helped me find the "<em>silver lining</em>." <br /><br />Deidre<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-09-25T17:59:00Z
Small Things Get Big Results
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Small-Things-Get-Big-Results/-947171926093832818.html
2018-09-24T17:59:00Z
2018-09-24T17:59:00Z
<br />I love being a wife, mother, and girlfriend. I recently had a "<em>Gone With the Wind</em>" moment I wanted to share.<br /><br />I returned home late in the evening from an out-of-town trip. My husband was asleep, as he gets up at 4AM to go to work. I love to wake up when he does and make him breakfast, pack him a lunch and send him off. This is something he truly appreciates. <br /><br />That night, I had only been asleep for about two hours when I heard my husband up and in the shower. I thought to myself I could stay in bed and sleep since he would understand, OR I could get up and do these small things for him and go back to sleep later. I got up and proceeded downstairs to the kitchen. I was almost finished with his meals when he came downstairs. As we had not had a chance to say "<em>hello</em>" yet, because of my late arrival, he looked at me lovingly, kissed me passionately, picked me up, carried me all the way upstairs, put me down gently on the bed, tucked me in, kissed me again sweetly, said he loved me, and left for work.<br /><br />I married a MAN, and tonight I will be more than his girlfriend! Thanks, Dr. Laura, for reminding us that making your spouse happy is the most wonderful thing in the world. I love that man!<br /><br />Toni<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-09-24T17:59:00Z
Taking Responsibility
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-Responsibility/-994888078058847569.html
2018-09-21T18:59:00Z
2018-09-21T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />I got pregnant out-of-wedlock at age 19. My boyfriend was 22 years old. When our families and friends found out, they insisted we terminate the pregnancy. My boyfriend instead insisted we take responsibility and have the baby, so we welcomed a daughter into the world.<br /><br />We knew the best thing for her was if I were a stay-at-home mother. My boyfriend wen tout and got a job. He didn't make a lot of money, but it was enough for us to get by. The whole time our families and friends said we were making the wrong choice.<br />It wasn't easy, but we married and knew as long as we respected and loved each other, we could make it through anything. Fast forward seven years, and my husband is now 30 and a sales executive for one of the best-known companies in Silicon Valley. We had another daughter last year. <br /><br />I am definitely my kids' mom and my husband's girlfriend. We would not be where we are today if it was not for us taking responsibility for our lives and doing the right thing. I am a regular listener of yours, and I thank you for encouraging all of us to do the right thing.<br /><br />Ashley<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-09-21T18:59:00Z
Retiring My Snowflake Status
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Retiring-My-Snowflake-Status/-843356767619080464.html
2018-09-20T17:59:00Z
2018-09-20T17:59:00Z
<br />I am a single, 34-year-old woman who has been lost most of my adult life, until finding your program. Because of your consistent advice, I have finally retired my "<em>snowflake</em>" status. <br /><br />My parents have always treated me like a helpless little girl, probably because I was molested at age 4, and then had serious heart problems as a teenager. After recovering my health, I started my dream company of purveying antique fine jewelry online. My parents were so worried about me failing that they swooped in and invested their home equity in my dream business, so they could "protect" me even further. I was naïve and thought that meant they would learn to support and appreciate me for being a young, hard-working woman. I was so wrong!<br /><br />After a few years of working together, they began to resent my success. I thought by succeeding in business that they would grow to respect me, but it has backfired. I'm almost twice the legal age of being an adult, but I've remained a kid.... until now. Recently, my parents attacked me for the last time, so I packed up my things and got a hotel room while looking for a place to live and still do my dream job. I got a second job "<em>just in case</em>," and have paid off all my debt. I've blocked their numbers, and I'm reaching out to friends. I've never felt more supported or loved. I learned from you that self-esteem comes from healthy boundaries, supportive and stable friends, inner strength, independence, and good decision-making - not just from the "love" of family or boyfriends. I have finally stepped away from my toxic, hopeless and always negative family. I've finally made the choice to be strong and happy. Thank you!<br /><br />Arianne<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-09-20T17:59:00Z
Showing My Appreciation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Showing-My-Appreciation/-761353121105234308.html
2018-09-19T17:59:00Z
2018-09-19T17:59:00Z
<br />I've been listening to you for over ten years. My husband and I have been married for 21 years and couldn't be happier. You have taught me how to be his girlfriend and treat him to a shower of affection. <br /><br />You inspired me to do something I haven't done in years - treat my husband to a full-body massage. I mentioned it to him today, and his eyes lit up with anticipation. He works so hard and helps me so much, it's the very least I can do to show my appreciation of all he does. <br /><br />Doing this is not only good for your man, but it's great for you too. It releases endorphins which feel wonderful while it makes your man feel terrific. He will appreciate this gesture of love and it will make him want to do the same in return. I hope my story will inspire other wives to do the same. They won't regret it.<br /><br /><br />Andrea <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-09-19T17:59:00Z
It Can Be Done
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Can-Be-Done/110510071678369685.html
2018-09-18T17:59:00Z
2018-09-18T17:59:00Z
<br />When my husband and I married 45 years ago, we didn't have two nickels to scrape together, but we were debt free. My parents were missionaries, he was a preacher's kid, and we both had to pay for our own educations. We had two sons and I worked 2 nights a week from 11PM to 7AM for 14 years. We vowed we would pay cash for everything, and he saved half of his paycheck (which wasn't very much back then).<br /><br />We ate a LOT of peanut butter sandwiches our first year of marriage, and I couponed, canned and froze every vegetable and fruit available. Fortunately, at that time, interest rates were high so the little money we had saved grew quickly. After those 14 years, we moved, paid cash for a nice four-bedroom home and my husband opened his own shop in our home. I worked as a nurse at night, so we never had a babysitter for our kids. We lived on my paycheck and saved all of his. We paid cash for two brand new cars and never took a loan out for anything. You CAN accumulate wealth and be debt-free!<br /><br />Our boys bought into our way of living and paid for their own education with cash and neither has ever had any debt. Both are successful with amazing wives who agreed to stay out of debt. Our oldest is now a millionaire and the second one is closing in. Neighbors and relatives thought we were cruel not giving them allowances and make them work and save their money. Because of our saving ways, my husband and I who are now retired travel the world and have a large financial "cushion." For all your listeners, it truly can be done! We did it, and now our children are doing it.<br /><br />Sherry<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-09-18T17:59:00Z
Proper Care & Feeding of One Another
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Proper-Care--Feeding-of-One-Another/-96588063166884391.html
2018-09-17T17:59:00Z
2018-09-17T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I turned 45 in June and went for my annual physical. That led to lots of extra tests, and finally to the implantation of a pacemaker. My wonderful, loving, kind wife bent over backward to take care of me during that stressful time, getting me to appointments, picking up meds, preparing meals, and just making sure I was nursed back to good health.<br /><br />Last week, I received a positive and uplifting report from my cardiologist. That good news made me reflect on all my wife has done for me, and I decided to do a little something to recognize that. I picked up a dozen red and white roses, a bottle of her favorite red wine, and a card, where I wrote a heartfelt, loving message to her. <br /><br />She called it a beautiful surprise, and that made me feel good. We had a wonderful weekend together as we thought about the last three months, our life together, and our love for one another. I travel for work and leave cute notes on her pillow when I leave the house only to find notes in MY suitcase from her when I get to my hotel. We hold hands in public and when we're home together on the couch. I also take her wedding ring off her finger every week and ask her to marry me again! We are totally responsible for the proper care and feeding of one another, which has led to a wonderful and happy marriage. <br /><br />Your loyal listener,<br /><br />Chad <br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-09-17T17:59:00Z
Keeping Me On The Right Path
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-Me-On-The-Right-Path/-641892474190960552.html
2018-09-14T17:59:00Z
2018-09-14T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I was married one month after I turned 18. We were only engaged for 9 months and were very immature, but we thought we were "<em>so in love!</em>"<br /><br />Luckily and happily, we're going into our sixteenth year of marriage and I have you to thank for the key to our success. I started reading your books and listening to you shortly after our marriage. I took every word to heart and loved every call I heard. <br /><br />Here's what I've learned from you:<br /><ol>
<li>When I focus on how I can be better, everything is better. </li>
<br />
<li>When I show grace and forgiveness to my husband, I get more of the same. </li>
<br />
<li>When I rock his world in the bedroom, I see a change in his everyday demeanor.</li>
<br />
<li>When I put in the effort, life is beyond amazing.</li>
</ol><br />I was really shocked the day I realized the power that I held. I still hold hands with my sweetie every time we go out, and we are each other's first priority.<br /><br />Thank you for being that voice in my ear keeping me straight on the right path to an always fresh and beautiful marriage. I also stay home with our kids and we homeschool them and are active in local homeschool groups.<br /><br />Shirley<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-09-14T17:59:00Z
Listen Carefully
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Listen-Carefully/141598980129973039.html
2018-09-13T17:59:00Z
2018-09-13T17:59:00Z
<br />I've occasionally heard young women call you to ask if they should move with their boyfriends to far away locations. You usually say, not unless you're married! All that advice you give to women is the TRUTH, and I want your listeners to hear my story.<br /><br />My boyfriend and I had been dating for almost two years, and I knew he was the man I wanted to marry. He got a great job offer and moved to a new location eight hours away. He asked me to go and move in with him, but I said I didn't want to uproot my entire life without being married. He said he didn't want to get married. So, he went alone, and we dated long-distance for four months. When he kept insisting I move in, I finally broke up with him, because he still did not want to get married and this was as far as our relationship was going to go. <br /><br />Four months later, he called me out of the blue. He told me he had made a big mistake and really wanted to talk to me. I told him that he needed to make the trip to ME if he wanted to talk. He did come the eight hours distance and said he realized that he really did love me, and he didn't want to lose me. Then he asked me to marry him. Four months after that we were married and that's when we packed up my things and moved to our new home together in his new location. This year, we're celebrating 25 years of marriage!<br /><br />That year was long and emotionally draining, and I shed lots of tears. But it was so worth it to stick to my guns. My husband is my lover, my best friend, and the best person that I get to live life with! I hope others really hear you and take your words seriously!<br /><br />Tammy<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-09-13T17:59:00Z
The Look Of Neglect
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Look-Of-Neglect/-354344973217499082.html
2018-09-12T17:59:00Z
2018-09-12T17:59:00Z
<br />I am a stay-at-home mom to twin daughters. I take them to a playgroup once a week in our small town. There is one little girl there who is 3 years old, the same age as my twins. Her parents are divorced, dad lives far away, and her mom has a full-time career. She comes to the playgroup with her daycare caretaker and the caretaker's own children. <br /><br />Here's what not being loved all day looks like:<br />
<ul>
<li>I often see her playing alone.</li>
<br />
<li>When it's snack time, no one makes sure she has a snack, and if she's wrapped up in her play, no one reminds her that she should eat. As a result, she's often very hungry at the end of the playgroup.</li>
<br />
<li>During ball playtime, I offered her one of our balls, as she didn't have one. Her caretaker said, "<em>that's okay-she doesn't need one.</em>"</li>
<br />
<li>Finally, at story time, she sat by herself staring down at a book with no one to read to her while all the other children sat on their mothers' laps with books. </li>
</ul>
<br />I couldn't stand to watch her being neglected any longer. I pulled her onto my lap with my twins and the three of us read story after story. I decided to take her under my wing and care for her every time I saw her at the playgroup.<br /><br />The following week, she wasn't there. I found out that her mother found another daycare closer to her job. I knew she was going to be unloved all day once again. The whole concept takes on new meaning when you see this in action. I was never a fan of daycare to begin with, but my resolve has increased after this experience. <br /><br />Jana<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-09-12T17:59:00Z
Learning Lessons
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-Lessons/152021889256725266.html
2018-09-11T17:59:00Z
2018-09-11T17:59:00Z
<br />When my children were participating in sports, even though they usually loved the activity, there were times when they'd ask to quit. Usually, that happened when they had to learn a new skill, and they were having trouble mastering it. So, my deal with them was "<em>Learn the new skill first. After you do that, if you still want to quit, you may do so.</em>" I was okay if they wanted to quit because they had genuinely lost interest, but not if it was because they didn't want to put in the effort. I knew if they put in the work, it was likely they'd have a renewed sense of pride and love for their activity, which is what always happened. <br /><br />When my third child learned to play chess and showed a real interest, he joined a chess club. However, he got discouraged when he kept losing games and wondered if he should give up. I pointed out that the other kids had been playing a lot longer than he had, and if he kept practicing he would start winning more. It took a while, but he did improve, and eventually, he became one of the better players at the club. Then I saw how the "<em>don't quit just because something's hard</em>" mindset became part of them as they grew to young adulthood, and when they were faced with school or work difficulties, they remembered how they overcame them in the past and ended up tackling their new challenges with perseverance and confidence. There were no snowflakes in our house!<br />Penelope<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-09-11T17:59:00Z
What Does He Love About You?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Does-He-Love-About-You/148037035218990834.html
2018-09-10T17:59:00Z
2018-09-10T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I want to thank you for a conversation I had with you in my head that was very helpful! After hearing you talk to a woman about dressing up for her husband, I thought about my lifelong insecurities about how to dress and act sexy, since I've been a lifelong tomboy. <br /><br />I wondered why I didn't have better sexy instincts as a woman. In my mind, I called you for advice, and you asked me "<em>what does he love about you?</em>" I teared up as I responded in my mind that he married me because I am happy, along with my nice legs and slender physique. Instantly, I knew what he needed from me every day: nicely fitted clothes, and my happy, playful self. I may not know what a sexy outfit should be, but at least I know and can show my husband what he has always loved about me. <br /><br />Thank you for helping me remember my strengths. By the way, my husband had a big smile on his face this morning when he left for work!<br /><br />Jeannie <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-09-10T17:59:00Z
Making Our House A Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Our-House-A-Home/617582992957380068.html
2018-09-07T17:59:00Z
2018-09-07T17:59:00Z
<br />Hello Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I have been happily married for 12 years and have an 8-year-old daughter. I quit work in the professional world at the beginning of the year because I knew I couldn't have it all. I had an extremely cushy job, even though I worked full-time. I was able to drop off and pick up my daughter from school. I volunteered for class outings, was home when my daughter was sick and made lunches and dinners each day. I essentially did everything a stay-at-home mom would do, but I also had the additional stresses of work.<br /><br />Eventually, it all caught up to me. Ironically, I have a Ph.D. in sociology with expertise in stress/coping, social support and work/family balance, so I should have known better. Then I finally quit. Being there for our daughter, making our house a home, and being an amazing wife is my number one priority.<br /><br />This past summer, being at home with my daughter has been amazing. She received a Lego set from her Grandpa, but I wasn't sure she could do it as it's the Expert Level Assembly Square I've heard you speak about. It's a total of 4,002 pieces but she finally finished it just as the summer is about to end.<br /><br />Thank you so much for giving of yourself every day, as there are many of us who benefit from your wisdom. I know I sure have.<br /><br />Alyssa<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-09-07T17:59:00Z
The Deal
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Deal/-247681388573337766.html
2018-09-06T17:59:00Z
2018-09-06T17:59:00Z
<br />Hi, Dr. Laura!<br /><br />I thought you might like to hear an example of good parenting. This was my dad's idea, and my mom gave her full support. I'm now 48, pretty successful, and I own my own home and work hard to keep my good credit. <br /><br />When I was 10 years old and my brother was 13, we were each given twenty dollars a week for an allowance, but there were stipulations attached. All our chores had to be completed to get the allowance, and out of that huge twenty dollars, we paid for all school supplies, and even lunches (but we had the option to pack our own FREE lunch at home). Out of that twenty dollars, we paid for all field trip expenses, all movie tickets (and popcorn) and even bicycle parts. If we wanted to buy an expensive item, we used our parents' "<em>layaway</em>" plan - we gave them money if we had extra from the week and we got the item only AFTER it was fully "<em>paid</em>" up. I got my first tape recorder after only five weeks of saving this way. Now here's the kicker to "<em>The Deal</em>" (as it was known in our house): our parents opened savings accounts in our names, and any money we gave them to deposit into the account, they would double and put in the account. Our Dad made both of us shake his hand as men as we agreed to it. I remember he corrected the way I shook his hand and told me a man shakes with a firm grip and meets a man's eyes in mutual respect. I still practice that today! <br /><br />The benefits of "<em>The Deal</em>" was life-changing. My brother and I live well within our means, and we can afford to take care of our families. And neither of us have snowflakes for kids. <br /><br />Remember to say hi to your trucker fans. We need your advice and well wishes too!<br /><br />Sam<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-09-06T17:59:00Z
The Difficulty Of Being A Full-Time Caregiver
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Difficulty-Of-Being-A-Full-Time-Caregiver/-558475129657509197.html
2018-09-04T17:59:00Z
2018-09-04T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am the Volunteer Coordinator for a hospice organization, and we recently had a patient who worried about his wife and how she would make it after he passed. I asked one of our volunteers (who lost her husband about ten years ago) if she would be interested in meeting this patient's wife. She did. <br /><br />They discussed the grief of losing a spouse, how difficult it is to be the full-time caregiver, and many other things. This volunteer also helped the patient's wife with everything from gathering all bank account and insurance policy information and how many death certificates she would need to have, to going with her to the funeral home to finalize plans for the service. <br /><br />It's been three months since the patient passed away, and his wife and our volunteer are still in touch and will probably be friends for a long time. We often say that hospice workers have "<em>a calling</em>" and aren't just "<em>hired.</em>" It is true of hospice volunteers as well. I am honored to work among such compassionate people who come alongside our patients at the end of their lives. Thank you for always recognizing the value of hospice workers.<br /><br /><br />Respectfully,<br /><br />Susan <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-09-04T17:59:00Z
Building Together
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Building-Together/442363324928714097.html
2018-08-31T17:59:00Z
2018-08-31T17:59:00Z
<br />22 years ago, I was engaged to a wonderful man. I had a good education and a lucrative career, and I was only 24 years old. One day I came across your program and listened for several months when I realized that I could not continue to work once we had children. <br /><br />I talked to my fiancé and said once we had kids, I would put my career on hold. He was shocked and wondered how we'd live on one income. What about vacations, cars and a fancy house? I said we'd either come up with a plan well before the wedding, or there would be no wedding!<br /><br />We figured out that once we were married, ALL my income would go into a savings account for five years. After that, we would have children. We made it two years, and I was pregnant. I left my job seven months later. Nothing prepared me for the bliss and satisfaction I gained from motherhood. I still used my education every day, and much to my surprise, discovered we didn't need the extra money. Our home was happy. When my daughter was 10, I started working part-time, and when she left for college I returned to work full-time, for a company which appreciated the fact that I had been out of the workforce raising my daughter. <br /><br />Thanks to you, I realized I could have it all - just not all at the same time. As for the savings account, my paycheck still goes in there. Over the years, we've managed to save and invest enough money to retire comfortably in several years, and we're only 46 years old. We did this together. Thank you!<br /><br />Amy<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-08-31T17:59:00Z
Investing In My Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Investing-In-My-Family/325584255865335574.html
2018-08-30T17:59:00Z
2018-08-30T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Last year, I was 27, married for one year, and I was a bitchy, nagging wife. My husband and I argued constantly. We love each other, and I thought we had good communication, but I didn't listen when he expressed his simple needs and wants as a man and husband. He gave, and I took. When I suffered a miscarriage, I became depressed and was even more awful to my husband.<br /><br />A month later, I borrowed my parents' car, and they have SiriusXM. Your show was on the air when I turned it on. I listened for the entire three hours and was in tears because I realized that not only was I a bad wife, but I was also a worker in a daycare center, and I was burnt out. I hated my job, the people I worked with and the corporate politics, but I loved children and felt I was there for a purpose. After listening to you, I realized I couldn't work in an environment I didn't respect and one in which I would never put my own child. Never.<br /><br />I went home, subscribed to your podcast, bought <em>"<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=JY6Y942AN65G9SDAGZP0" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>" AND "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Marriage/dp/0061142824" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage</a></em>" and haven't missed a single show since. I'm now 28, happily married and am my husband's girlfriend. I quit my job at the daycare and haven't looked back since. When I prepare dinner every night, my husband is proud when I tell him how much I love my protector and alpha male! We walk to the farmers' market every weekend, and each time, he buys me a bouquet of flowers. We're not pregnant yet, but we are using this time to bond with each other, so we'll be terrific parents when the time comes.<br /><br />Liza<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-08-30T17:59:00Z
My Husband's Pride
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husbands-Pride/-484467279060576458.html
2018-08-28T17:59:00Z
2018-08-28T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I recently heard a caller who had no problem being supported by his wife's parents. Let me tell you about my husband, who is the exact opposite. He takes enormous pride in the fact that we have done everything on our own, with no help from either of our families.<br /><br />We got married and built an apartment on the side of his parents' barn! We paid for all of it and lived there for a year and a half while we saved money for a down payment on a house. We bought a very modest house, but it was what we could afford on our own. It felt really good to do that.<br /><br />My husband's brothers though, are snowflakes. They each live in their wives' parents' houses, pay minimum or no rent, and have their wives' parents pay for car payments, repairs and more and have NO problem with this lifestyle. My husband has looked them dead in the eye and asked them how they can feel like MEN living like that. You can imagine how much they like us!<br /><br />My husband is a real man who supports me staying home with the kids and feels pride in the fact that he provides for our whole family on one income. Everything we own we have bought or done with our lives we have done on our own with our hard-earned money. Thank you for helping us realize that we are doing the right thing.<br /><br />Hester<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-08-28T17:59:00Z
Always Looking For Ways To Improve My Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Always-Looking-For-Ways-To-Improve-My-Marriage/77113779412972630.html
2018-08-27T17:59:00Z
2018-08-27T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Because I've listened to you for decades and read all your books, I thought I knew it all, but I was surprised to find out I don't. I loved listening to your show when men called in to talk about their wives. I was left in tears at the love they spoke about in those calls. One caller mentioned that his wife changed out of her "<em>day</em>" clothes before he got home from work because she dressed for him. Wow. That hit me hard.<br /><br />I am my husband's girlfriend - dinner is always ready for him, I give him kisses at the door, BUT I've always worn my son's hand-me-down sweats and t-shirts all day. I thought my husband didn't care. What did clothes matter when he sees me naked a lot? Well, that caller made me realize my mistake.<br /><br />I tossed out all the hand-me-down clothes and bought several new, sexy outfits to wear specifically around the house. My teenage daughter noticed and said, "<em>why are you wearing all those stupid outfits Mom?</em>" I didn't answer. My husband didn't mention my change in wardrobe either at first, but a few days later, when we were alone, he grabbed me and got all kinds of frisky. Later on, he told me "<em>it's those darn shorty shorts and sexy tops you're wearing! It drives me crazy!</em>" <br /><br />Thanks, Dr. Laura, for reminding me to always continue looking for ways to improve myself and my marriage!<br /><br />Marian<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-08-27T17:59:00Z
Money Isn't Everything
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Money-Isnt-Everything/865318578639265905.html
2018-08-24T17:59:00Z
2018-08-24T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />When I had my first child, I worked for three hours in the morning three days a week while grandma took care of him. The rest of the time, I was home, cleaning, cooking and raising our son. When our second son was born, I quit work and stayed home full-time. <br /><br />Ours was the house where everyone in the neighborhood came to play. The yard and house were always full of children. I clipped coupons and found other small, but effective ways to save money. We had swim parties in our $69 kiddie pool, complete with fancy peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that I made with biscuit cutters to make them look round (and special). Our house was filled with love and laughter. <br /><br />Children are very creative when given simple materials, and they don't need the latest gadgets or expensive toys. Mine created playhouses, restaurants, and cities with sheets, card tables, and other household items. When I look back at our total income during those years, I think, "<em>boy, were we poor!</em>" but in reality, we possessed much greater riches. <br /><br />Our kids always had summer jobs, where they learned that if they wanted "<em>things,</em>" they had to save for them. Both purchased their own cars when they were 17 - not shiny new ones, but used fixer-uppers. They bought their own gas and paid for their own insurance. Many of our friends thought we were terrible parents for not providing them with those things that we felt were to be earned. It wasn't always easy, but it was worth it.<br /><br />Both sons are grown and married with good careers. They chose wisely when it came to spouses. And somehow, they'll figure it all out just as we did when they were small. Keep on preaching, teaching, and nagging. More people are bound to listen and put your ideas into practice!<br /><br />Jody<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-08-24T17:59:00Z
Becoming Grandma
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Becoming-Grandma/-93200685521267896.html
2018-08-23T17:58:00Z
2018-08-23T17:58:00Z
<br />I recently found out that my son fathered a child from a one-night stand and I have an 8-year-old granddaughter. I thought of the gossip and shock on everyone's face if they found out, but then I thought of your phrase "<em>do the right thing</em>." That's when I sent the mother of my grandchild an email introducing myself and stating that I would like to get to know them.<br /><br />I didn't hear back for months, but then I did, and I've finally gotten to meet my precious grandchild. We hit it off, and now my days are filled with joy talking to her on the phone, sending small gifts, and learning about the little person that she is. I kept reminding myself that she is an innocent child and did not ask for this situation. It hurts that she will suffer from the actions of my son, who chose to have unprotected sex and created a human being with someone that he did not intend to marry. <br /><br />I've heard you say that grandmothers can be important in a child's life, especially if that childhood has been chaotic. I remember my own memories with my grandmother - baking pies, working in the garden and doing fun "<em>Grandma</em>" stuff. I'm only 45 years old, but I hope that I can be that special grandmother to my new (to me) grandchild. <br /><br />I have gone from being ashamed to being ecstatic about being a grandma. Thank you so much for helping me do the right thing for an innocent child.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Cosette<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-08-23T17:58:00Z
What An Eye-Opener
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-An-Eye-Opener/41669605847370736.html
2018-08-22T17:59:00Z
2018-08-22T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I have listened to you for just over a year, and have come to realize that I have been a hot mess! I had gotten to the point where I only had sex with my husband of seven years TWICE in the last year. We're both in our early 40s and have no children.<br /><br />I recently discovered a secret email account my husband had which included profiles on dating sites. There didn't seem to be any identifying information about him and there were no pictures of him. I could find no evidence of his sending any messages with any of the women, and I realized it was probably just visual stimulation for him.<br /><br />Without nagging or starting an argument, I let him know I'd found them, and that I never wanted to feel gut-punched again. Then I did some thinking about what I wanted and expected from the marriage and where we go from here.<br /><br />I purchased your book, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Marriage/dp/0061142824" target="_blank"><em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage</em></a>, even though I wasn't sure it could help. What an eye-opener! I saw myself in several chapters - and how I justified and rationalized all the reasons why I was withholding sex. After reading the chapter on sex, I learned that sex is what my husband needs to be close to me. <br /><br />I wrote him a note saying that I hadn't been nourishing this marriage and promising him I was going to start being his girlfriend again and not just his "<em>stuck in a rut</em>" wife. I made one of his favorite dinners, and we've started kissing each other in the morning and at night - something we hadn't done in months. The sex is back and we're definitely headed in the right direction again. And I'm also re-reading the book, so see if I missed anything the first time!<br /><br />Cheryl<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-08-22T17:59:00Z
Priorities
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Priorities/912758834087036725.html
2018-08-21T17:59:00Z
2018-08-21T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Thank you for drawing a hard line on the importance of staying home and raising your children. When my husband and I were dating, we talked openly about my desire to be a stay-at-home mom someday, and he agreed. We spent the early years of our marriage saving money and planning financially for the time when we would start our family so that we knew we'd be able to live on one income. <br /><br />When my son was born four years ago, I left my career as an engineer to become a full-time stay-at-home mom. I took a lot of flak from family and friends who thought I was crazy and throwing away my Master's degree and career. They couldn't understand why we would choose to live on just my husband's small income or how I could leave behind my career without a second glance. I disregarded all of them because I knew that the best thing for my son and now also my daughter was to be home with them each day, teaching them the morals and ideas that are important to us as a family, and just being there with them and for them.<br /><br />Recently, an old colleague contacted me about doing some consulting engineering work. I could do it part-time, during naptime and after the kids are in bed. My work now has no impact on my kids, and they know they will continue to be my top priority. I know too many women think they have no choice but to send their kids to daycare. I'm here to say it CAN be done with careful planning and budgeting if you really want to make it your priority.<br /><br />Sarah<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-08-21T17:59:00Z
Learning From The Best
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-From-The-Best/-510824217170494141.html
2018-08-20T17:59:00Z
2018-08-20T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I've been married 25 years, and I have a delightful mother-in-law!<br /><br />Because of what I've learned from her, I know I will be a fabulous mother-in-law one day. She adores her son and tells me how happy she is that we married each other.<br /><br />She's always honest, but sweet with her remarks. If my husband thinks she's overstepping her boundaries, then she accepts that without getting pouty or undermining our parenting or our relationship with each other. Because she is not demanding, we want to include her in our family adventures or trips when we can. When we do, she's a lot of fun to be around.<br /><br />Even though our children are young adults now, my mother-in-law makes an effort to stay in touch with them on their terms, and they love her even more for that. <br /><br />I've learned not to take life so seriously because of her. When she visits us, she insists that I take a break and we go out together. I think more mothers-in-law would get what they wanted if they followed her approach of sharing her desires instead of demanding her way. She is a lovely, classy fun lady who will always be welcome in our home.<br /><br />Scarlett<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-08-20T17:59:00Z
Changing My Ways
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-My-Ways/-115241681448767675.html
2018-08-17T17:59:00Z
2018-08-17T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I have been single for 20 years after leaving a difficult marriage of 29 years. I stayed in the marriage until my children were raised. I did not choose wisely, and it took me a while to realize that I kept meeting the same kind of self-centered men when I started dating again. It was easy to MEET men, but I found that by giving them sex early in the relationship, the friendship aspect just stopped and from then on, it was just a physical connection and nothing more.<br /><br />So, I decided to change my ways, and said: "<em>no sex before marriage</em>." A lot of guys moved on, and that's when I KNEW I was doing the right thing. I've now been seeing a widower for a year who is not sure he wants to marry again. Still, he's continuing to see me and has bought me flowers on numerous occasions. He said he is falling in love with me and is now thinking that maybe marriage again IS a good idea. <br /><br />I am in no hurry and am not pressuring him. He is kind, generous, helpful and we love working together on various projects. We are taking the time to really get to know each other without introducing a physical aspect to the relationship. I feel sorry for people who feel the road to love is primarily below the waist. The true path is between the brain and the heart, coupled with a bunch of common sense and old-fashioned moral values. Oh, and one last thing - I'm 74 and he is 78, but we feel like we're teenagers.<br /><br />Lia<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-08-17T17:59:00Z
This Too Shall Pass
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/This-Too-Shall-Pass/167219731200314355.html
2018-08-16T17:59:00Z
2018-08-16T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />My six-month-old little girl is on a new kick where she screams pretty much all night long. My husband is wonderful, but there's only so much he can do. After a week of us both not sleeping, I headed to my Mom and Dad's house, because my mom is the ultimate Grandma and can give me a break while I can take a shower, and my husband can get some needed sleep. <br /><br />This morning, my mom found me sobbing as I stood over my baby's crib, as I was just overwhelmed and frustrated by this whole experience. She swept in, picked up my baby, fed her and let me sleep for a few hours.<br /><br />Later, I was in the car with my baby in the back seat. She was finally sleeping, and in the midst of all these emotions I heard your voice, saying "one day you will miss this craziness." And I remember you talking about women who have lost their children in accidents. That's when I said to myself that I was lucky to only have a crying baby, and this too will pass. <br /><br />Thank you for reminding us new moms that we are not alone!<br /><br />Nikki <br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-08-16T17:59:00Z
Love And Tenderness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Love-And-Tenderness/-271091653243043945.html
2018-08-15T17:59:00Z
2018-08-15T17:59:00Z
<br />I'm a home health physical therapist and wanted to share a story I heard from one of my clients. He's 85 years old and widowed.<br /><br />He told me he first saw his wife when he was 16 years old, and knew immediately that she was the woman he would marry. He heard through friends that she said about him "<em>Well, he doesn't talk to girls well, and his ears are too big!</em>" That's when he figured he better get to work, and among other things, began having his barber leave his hair long around his ears!<br /><br />He finally won her over several years later, and they married. About 10 years ago, his wife developed a rare neurological condition in which she progressively lost all motor function, and eventually, he had to place her in a nursing home.<br /><br />For seven years, he woke up at 5:30 AM every morning to drive the 30 minutes to the home to feed her breakfast and spend the day with her. Someone at church told him he should give himself a break since this was almost like going to a job every day. He told this individual "<em>No, this is very different! When I had a job, there were days I woke up and didn't feel like going, but not one time in seven years have I ever woken up and not wanted to go see my wife.</em>" <br /><br />What a sweetheart, and a very special man.<br /><br />Suzanne<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-08-15T17:59:00Z
Little Things Add Up To Big Hugs And Kisses
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Little-Things-Add-Up-To-Big-Hugs-And-Kisses/246332859477956878.html
2018-08-14T17:59:00Z
2018-08-14T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I'm 50 years old and have been married 29 years. My husband has always worked hard full-time to allow me to stay home, raise and homeschool our sons, and I've always been grateful for this.<br /><br />This past week, I was bowled over by an act of love that he did for me just because he loves me (I have followed your guidance to be a kind wife daily!). <br /><br />He came home one day and told me about the fresh raspberries he had found, picked and eaten as a snack at work. In joking tones, I said, "<em>well that's all very nice, but you didn't save me any?</em>" He just smiled.<br /><br />He gets up very early, so the next day when I got up, I went down to an empty kitchen but a small pile of wild raspberries on a folded piece of paper on the counter. I figured maybe he had found some extras from the previous day. When he got home that night, he told me he had forgotten some tools at his job site the previous day, and got up at 4AM to retrieve them, since it was an hour's drive away, so he could go to the next job site. He stopped at the raspberry patch on the way, grabbed a handful and stopped home before he went out again - all this before the sun was up! He did this without comment or fanfare. Thanks to your influence, I immediately recognized this for what it was - a great husband taking care of his cherished wife. I think I surprised him with my profuse thanks and kisses for such a sweet gesture. <br /><br />Thank you for the constant reminders to be the best spouses we can be every day. <br /><br />Jennifer<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-08-14T17:59:00Z
My Highest Honor
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Highest-Honor/623991433833037968.html
2018-08-13T17:59:00Z
2018-08-13T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I am a stay-at-home mom to three kids, ages 5, 6, and 10. I had a full career before having kids, and while the decision to stay home was easy because I always believed it was vital for my children, it has been a sacrifice. Frankly, I'm so sick of the comments I get from working moms. There is such a double standard! Most, but not all, working moms in my experience put down or minimize stay-at-home moms, yet WE have to tread lightly about our opinions about them.<br /><br />Here are only a few comments I've received over the last few years from working moms: 1)"I don't know how you do it; I'd be so bored!:" 2)"It's good for my kids to see me pursuing my career;" 3)"I like to make my own money;" and 4)"Daycare is just too expensive - it's really unfair to moms who have to work." I tend to just change the subject so as to not "offend." But as I think about it, they are being completely offensive. So here are MY responses to some of these comments:<br /><ol>
<li>Only boring people are bored. All jobs have boring mundane parts.</li>
<br />
<li>I don't know if your kids would agree that they are getting so much out of seeing mommy try to do it all - but not doing much of it well.</li>
<br />
<li>I get wanting to make your own money, but I don't think that should trump wanting to raise your own kids.</li>
<br />
<li>Complaining about the cost of daycare is my personal favorite - would you REALLY want it to be cheap? What kind of care would THAT be??</li>
</ol>It doesn't really matter what others think, because it's clear to me that being home with them is the right thing. Yes, it can be a struggle to enjoy my days with them sometimes - it's all exhausting and very often not rewarding, but it's the most important work of all, and I will still hold my title as mom as my highest honor on earth. I'm so glad I made the decision to be here for it.<br />Haley<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-08-13T17:59:00Z
Changing My Ways
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-My-Ways/34912715110482893.html
2018-08-10T17:59:00Z
2018-08-10T17:59:00Z
<br />I have been single for 20 years after leaving a difficult marriage of 29 years. I stayed in the marriage until my children were raised. I did not choose wisely, and it took me a while to realize that I kept meeting the same kind of self-centered men when I started dating again. It was easy to MEET men, but I found that by giving them sex early in the relationship, the friendship aspect just stopped and from then on, it was just a physical connection and nothing more.<br /><br />So, I decided to change my ways, and said "<em>no sex before marriage.</em>" A lot of guys moved on, and that's when I KNEW I was doing the right thing. I've now been seeing a widower for a year who is not sure he wants to marry again. Still, he's continuing to see me, and has bought me flowers on numerous occasions. He said he is falling in love with me and is now thinking that maybe marriage again IS a good idea. <br /><br />I am in no hurry and am not pressuring him. He is kind, generous, helpful and we love working together on various projects. We are taking the time to really get to know each other without introducing a physical aspect to the relationship. I feel sorry for people who feel the road to love is primarily below the waist. The true path is between the brain and the heart, coupled with a bunch of common sense and old-fashioned moral values. Oh, and one last thing - I'm 74 and he is 78, but we feel like we're teenagers.<br /><br />Lia<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-08-10T17:59:00Z
One Day You Will Miss This Craziness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/One-Day-You-Will-Miss-This-Craziness/74271257175453493.html
2018-08-09T17:59:00Z
2018-08-09T17:59:00Z
<br />My six-month-old little girl is on a new kick where she screams pretty much all night long. My husband is wonderful, but there's only so much he can do. After a week of us both not sleeping, I headed to my Mom and Dad's house, because my mom is the ultimate Grandma and can give me a break while I can take a shower, and my husband can get some needed sleep. <br /><br />This morning, my mom found me sobbing as I stood over my baby's crib, as I was just overwhelmed and frustrated by this whole experience. She swept in, picked up my baby, fed her and let me sleep for a few hours.<br /><br />Later, I was in the car with my baby in the back seat. She was finally sleeping, and in the midst of all these emotions I heard your voice, saying "<em>one day you will miss this craziness.</em>" And I remember you talking about women who have lost their children in accidents. That's when I said to myself that I was lucky to only have a crying baby, and this too will pass. <br /><br />Thank you for reminding us new moms that we are not alone!<br /><br />Nikki <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-08-09T17:59:00Z
From Now Until Dead, Is This How You Want To Live Your Life?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/From-Now-Until-Dead,-Is-This-How-You-Want-To-Live-Your-Life/-989644379269843332.html
2018-08-08T17:59:00Z
2018-08-08T17:59:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I work as a traveling nurse and listen to your show as I drive for many hours. While on my travels, I met a man and began a relationship with him four years ago. It started out great, but eventually, it turned out not to be a good relationship.<br /><br />We ended up staying together for 2 1/2 years. I never felt like I could do anything right. I would set him off for no reason, and everything was constantly my fault when things went wrong. I could never be good enough for him. When I would take steps to leave, he pulled me back in. In the end, it was your advice "<em>from now until dead is this how you want to live your life?</em>" that rang in my head and heart every day. After nearly three years, I told him I was breaking up with him for good and moving to another town for work. His response was simply "<em>ok.</em>"<br /><br />Ah, Dr. Laura, people ask me how I left a relationship after all that time, and I tell them about you and that "<em>from now until dead</em>" quote. I see people in the same situation I was and all they can say to me is that I was so strong, and they're not. <br /><br />For those three years, I kept telling myself he would change, and I could "<em>fix him.</em>" I know I sound like a stupid girl, but I was not - I was just a woman who made stupid decisions for a really long time. I have the nurse compassion and the nurse "<em>heart,</em>" but you made me realize how I was literally killing myself by doing that in this relationship. <br /><br />Thank you for the influence you've had on me and how you've given me the courage to change my life for the better.<br /><br />Jordan<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-08-08T17:59:00Z
The Single Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Single-Life/180932620881701991.html
2018-08-07T17:59:00Z
2018-08-07T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've been single all my 50 years, and while it would be nice to find that "<em>special someone</em>" to go through life with, I am quite content being single. I learned long ago that I cannot find my self-worth through another person and needed to learn contentment, which doesn't always mean the same thing as happy. <br /><br />I did spend a few years waiting for that person to arrive and then realized my behavior was to the detriment of my own growth. So, I bought, renovated and sold several houses over the years, got a dog, and signed up for classes I wanted to attend. I was never "<em>career-oriented,</em>" so I've had all kinds of "<em>jobs</em>" and learned all kinds of skills. I did historic carriage tours in my town and learned how to harness a horse to a carriage. I can even parallel park it! I took up knitting, learned how to change out all the light fixtures in my house, installed a tile backsplash, started a book club and traveled all over the world. Would I love to share those things with a special man in my life? Of course, but if I sat around waiting for that to happen, I would have a much larger derriere than I already do and nothing to show for my years.<br /><br />So, to all the single ladies out there, I suggest you go out there and soak it all up while you are "<em>waiting,</em>" and if that special guy doesn't come along, you will still have years of memories and great friends you shared those with as I do. Thanks again for all your sound advice over the years, Dr. Laura, and I appreciate you thinking of your single listeners too!<br /><br />Elaine<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-08-07T17:59:00Z
Adult Afternoons
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Adult-Afternoons/-304311993371281263.html
2018-08-06T17:59:00Z
2018-08-06T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Because of you, I experienced a wonderful moment with my sweet husband, and I wanted to thank you for helping to make it happen! One afternoon recently, I realized the kids wouldn't be home because they were spending time with their grandparents. I also knew my husband would be getting home early that day, and I decided to seize the moment. I felt Mother Laura tapping me on the shoulder saying, "<em>Be his girlfriend!</em>"<br /><br />So, I sent him an unashamedly suggestive text spelling out EXACTLY what I was looking forward to once he arrived home with no kids in the house to interrupt us. He immediately texted back "<em>I'm on my way!</em>" I ran to the bedroom, freshened up my makeup and put on something I know he likes. I heard the garage door open, propped myself up on the bed and waited. Nothing happened. I waited some more, and still, nothing happened. I started to get huffy and thought "<em>What is he doing? He knows I'm waiting for him!</em>" So, full of attitude, I jumped out of bed and stomped into the kitchen, half upset and half worried. As I entered the kitchen, I stopped dead in my tracks. There stood my sweet husband, in all his naked glory, with a big smile on his face pouring a glass of my favorite wine. He said "<em>I got your text. ADULT AFTERNOON!</em>" <br /><br />We had an incredible afternoon and very much enjoyed our time together. Had I not listened to your wisdom every day, I don't know that I would have so quickly thought of sending him that text. I'm actively making choices to do better as a wife and girlfriend every day. And my husband sees that and it's making all the difference in our marriage!<br />With all my respect,<br /><br />Ada<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-08-06T17:59:00Z
Passing On Your Knowledge
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Passing-On-Your-Knowledge/-314325018275407179.html
2018-08-03T17:59:00Z
2018-08-03T17:59:00Z
<br />Hello Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I grew up with wonderful role models for being a loving wife and being the stay-at-home mother I was to our two children. Throughout my entire marriage, you have been the voice in my ears reiterating my role as a wife and how to be the best I can to bring out the best in my wonderful husband. After 27 years of marriage, he still brags to his friends about me, and tells young men the important things to look for in a future wife - someone who is affectionate, is a great cook, and who doesn't nag! These seem like simple and easy things to do, but I know many wives who don't do this, and who are missing out on a great life. Staying on track with those three simple things allows me to continue to be my husband's girlfriend. He cutely holds my hand while we sit on the couch together, he brings me coffee every morning to wake me up, and he is a fun and loving man.<br /><br />I'm now passing along your teachings to our 21-year-old daughter, thanks to your new course at <strong><a href="https://www.marriage101.com/" target="_blank">marriage101.com</a></strong>. She grew up listening to you in our car, and when I told her about the course, she asked to watch it with me. We've watched three lessons so far, and she was glued to every word you said. She even acknowledged that she did some of the negative things you mention in her relationship with her boyfriend. Now she's armed with the knowledge of how to become a great wife when she eventually does become one. She flew home and texted me from the airport saying, "<em>I loved watching the Dr. Laura classes together. Can't wait to watch the last three when I'm back next month!</em>"<br /><br />Thank you for offering this course, and allowing the next generation to have the wisdom of your teaching. <br /><br />Lots of love to you,<br /><br />Julie <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-08-03T17:59:00Z
Your Words Rang Out In My Head
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Your-Words-Rang-Out-In-My-Head/345898548020771605.html
2018-08-02T17:59:00Z
2018-08-02T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />You saved my daughter's life.<br /><br />I was seven months pregnant when I woke up one day and did not feel my daughter move, which was strange because she was usually very active in the mornings. I had an important deadline at work, so I went about my routine and headed to the office. <br /><br />Halfway there, your words rang in my head. I've heard you say that an employer can replace you in a matter of days, but your child will always need you. I immediately turned the car around and went straight to my doctor. After a series of tests and ultrasounds, it was determined that my daughter needed to be delivered immediately. She spent a few weeks in the NICU but is now a happy and healthy 8-month-old. The doctors agree that it would be a different story if I hadn't skipped work and gotten checked out that morning. <br /><br />Somehow, someone else met that "<em>important</em>" deadline at work, but my life was forever changed that day.<br /><br />I am now proud to say "<em>I am my kid's Mom!</em>" Thank you.<br /><br />Louise <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-08-02T17:59:00Z
Life As A Single Woman
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Life-As-A-Single-Woman/-464508850724647218.html
2018-08-01T17:59:00Z
2018-08-01T17:59:00Z
<br />I am an artist and listen to your show while I paint! I've been divorced for over 12 years. My children are grown, married, and I'm a first-time grandma too. I want to let your listeners know that there is life for them as a single woman after divorce.<br /><br />I love being single. I can do what I want, eat when I want and where I want. I can watch my TV shows when I want. My time is my own. My father wants me to meet someone, so I "<em>won't be lonely,</em>" but I told him that I didn't want to ruin the new positive life I've carved out for myself. You don't really need to be with someone else to be happy, but you do have to enjoy being yourself. <br /><br />I'm a very confident woman. I have my own money and travel a lot. I also ran my own dojo for over 10 years and was the first woman kickboxing judge way back when. I shoot pool, ride horses and enjoy life. <br /><br />I did marry badly the first time, but now that that's over, I'm creating the life I want, and I'm loving it. <br /><br />Debbie<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-08-01T17:59:00Z
My Best Friend
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Best-Friend/-377991913554094861.html
2018-07-31T17:59:00Z
2018-07-31T17:59:00Z
<br />Hi, Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I wanted to email you about my smokin' hot girlfriend - my wife of 29 years! We have six children, ages 20-26 - four are our biological kids and two we took in as foster kids and later adopted. <br /><br />My wife is my best friend. We share a brain. She makes me want to be a better man, a better husband, a better father, a better friend. I had to chase her in our courtship and work to deserve her attention. She has never stepped down off that pedestal, which means that she is always worthy of my best efforts. We both give our all to the marriage and both have all our needs fulfilled.<br /><br />Several years ago, I had an accident and lost my eye. Through that experience, my wife was my #1 angel, helping me through the hard times and adjusting to the new normal of a prosthetic eye. <br /><br />We've also started a journey together to become healthier than we are. I started my weight loss program, not because she nagged me, but because of her example and the hard work that she was doing on her own. I'm down sixty pounds! We love working on this together and embrace these new, smaller versions of each other. <br /><br />My wife and I share a long-running joke - I tell her she must really be "<em>Mary Poppins,</em>" because she's "<em>practically perfect in every way!</em>" Thanks for your wisdom, advice, and insight, and how you've positively influenced our marriage.<br /><br />Warmest regards,<br /><br />Roger<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-07-31T17:59:00Z
Reversal Of A Snowflake
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Reversal-Of-A-Snowflake/-173411733895290041.html
2018-07-30T17:59:00Z
2018-07-30T17:59:00Z
<br />I was a snowflake because at 23 years old, I was still living at home. I wasn't lazy or unmotivated, but I had almost no self-confidence, because of how my dad treated me when I was very small. I was made to feel like I couldn't do anything right. I got excellent grades in school but would freeze when it came to hands-on learning, which is why it took me so long to establish a career.<br /><br />My mom had no trouble with me living at home, but my step-dad did. He threw me out in a roundabout way. He gave me the cold shoulder, spoke to me only when he would tell me to do chores, and tried to pit my brother and me against each other. The tension was thick, so when I couldn't stand it anymore, I got an apartment 15 minutes from home. Several years later, he confessed to me that he threw me out by making it hard for me to live there.<br /><br />I struggled at my new life at first, but I got through that. I worked two jobs to make ends meet, and after two years, went back to school to finish my degree. My parents didn't pay a penny. I did it myself. Three years after moving out, I took a huge leap and moved to another city, where I created a life and a family for myself. I got my nursing license and have been a hospice nurse now for 14 years. It's not a job. It's a mission.<br /><br />So, it IS possible to "<em>un-snowflake</em>" - just don't melt from the heat, freeze up, or become black ice, which can be destructive to those around you. <br /><br />Your fan,<br /><br />Laurie<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-07-30T17:59:00Z
Parents, Please Be Hard On Your Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parents,-Please-Be-Hard-On-Your-Kids/-204752789777036584.html
2018-07-26T17:59:00Z
2018-07-26T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Growing up, my parents gave in to most of what I wanted - even into my preteen and adolescent ages. If I really wanted to go to a friend's place or party, they would start out by saying no, but could almost always be convinced by my whining, crying and listing endless reasons why I should be allowed to go. As a result, I learned to expect to have my way in life. Along with this, any time I was signed up for lessons like swimming, dance or music, I would always want to quit after the first easy levels and would again use whining and tears to convince them to let me do so. They gave in with little resistance, not wanted to see me upset. <br /><br />Now, at age 29, I would describe myself as wholly and completely incompetent, with little to no self-confidence to speak of. I've been fired from multiple jobs, am noticeably uncoordinated, and struggle to be a team member who is useful rather than the weakest link. Thinking the goal in life was to get my way, I justified deplorable behavior all through college and in my early twenties. I lied to get where I wanted to go, and even broke the fidelity of my relationship because I felt entitled to "<em>feel good</em>" at any cost. I have since stopped these extreme moral transgressions after learning firsthand the extent to which society and friends will shun you based on your actions. But the damage feels irreparable.<br /> <br />So, parents please, please please be hard on your kids. Make punishments swift and severe and consistent as Dr. Laura has recommended. Praise kindness and good deeds. And prepare them to be someone they can actually face every day.<br /><br />Stacy <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-07-26T17:59:00Z
One Hundred Times More Beautiful
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/One-Hundred-Times-More-Beautiful/-613484007084616265.html
2018-07-25T17:59:00Z
2018-07-25T17:59:00Z
<br />Hello Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Your recent show where you had husbands call in about their wonderful wives inspired me to tell you this story. Ten years ago, I was in a big box store and ran into I guy I used to work with. We chatted a bit, and then he asked if I had ever met his wife. I hadn't, so he asked me to wait with him a few minutes until she came back. He said "<em>I really want you to meet her. Just wait till you see her - she's a looker! She's going to knock your eyeballs out!</em>" I smiled and waited with him. <br /><br />A few minutes later, she comes out from around the corner, and she's using a walker! She was a tiny little thing with a smile the size of Manhattan. Her husband said to me "<em>There she is! Look at her - isn't she the most beautiful person you've ever seen? We've been married 61 years, and she's one hundred times more beautiful today than the day we married.</em>"<br /><br />They were both in their eighties, and I had only been married for fifteen years at that time, but wow - what an impression it made on me. I'm a minister and recently performed four weddings. I told this story in every one. The reason she was so beautiful to him was that they chose wisely and every day they still did things to make the other happy. This was one of the great experiences of my life that helped shape me as a person, and I wanted to share it with you and your listeners.<br /><br />I'm a big fan. I wish you strong winds and calm seas. Don't ever retire!<br /><br />James <br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-07-25T17:59:00Z
A Mother Is A Priceless Gift For A Child
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Mother-Is-A-Priceless-Gift-For-A-Child/644143904596918523.html
2018-07-24T17:59:00Z
2018-07-24T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I chose to be a stay-at-home mom when my twins were born 15 years ago. We have a third child now who is almost 12. I have a college degree and an MBA, and I never think that my education was useless or a waste of my time. I think my education made me who I am. I can think logically, see both sides of a situation, and many other things I learned in school apply to my job at home. I truly enjoy being at home for and with my kids, and they are who they are because I have been around every day when they needed me. <br /><br />When my kids started kindergarten, they cried because they weren't used to being without me. They were the only kids crying, so I thought they were the "<em>strange</em>" ones, until I realized that all the other kids were USED to being dropped off with someone, so this wasn't different for them. One day, the teacher said to me "<em>You must take your kids to all kinds of places, as they seem to know a lot of things.</em>" She told me that half the kids in the class had never even gone to a grocery store. They also didn't know how to behave in a classroom. <br /><br />I believe the stay-at-home mom role is a priceless gift to our children that cannot be replicated anywhere else by anyone else. My kids know that after school, I am home for them to help with homework and make a home-cooked meal.<br /><br />Susan<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-07-24T17:59:00Z
NO Babies Before Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/NO-Babies-Before-Marriage/-874837425680663833.html
2018-07-23T17:59:00Z
2018-07-23T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am the proud stay-at-home mom of three children who my husband and I are raising to have strong morals and values. One thing we stress is no sex before marriage. It became clear to me recently, that not only is our message getting through to them, but they're not afraid to stand up for what is right either. <br /><br />We have a male Bearded Dragon lizard as a pet. We recently introduced him to a friend's female Bearded Dragon. They got along, so we decided to breed them. As we were making arrangements, my ten-year-old daughter informed me that nothing was happening until after the two lizards were married, because "<em>no one should have a baby without being married, right Mom?</em>" <br /><br />A few weeks ago, the two lizards were "<em>married</em>" in a small, intimate ceremony attended by my daughter's friends, plus our dogs and pet rabbit. Afterward, the two were allowed to "<em>live together</em>" in his cage. Bearded dragons have a very specific mating ritual that requires the female to accept the male's advances. The female declined the male several times. Each time, he backed off and waited patiently. At first, the "<em>wedding</em>" was meant as a fun, summer activity, but it actually turned into a strong lesson in morals and values that will be imprinted on all my kids and it required no lectures! All noticed the male's self-control and respect for his "<em>wife</em>".<br /><br />In a world that seems devoid of a moral compass, valuable lessons can be taught using our everyday lives and experiences. I am glad my daughter made me stick to my morals on this one!<br /><br />Noel<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-07-23T17:59:00Z
Salad Families
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Salad-Families/564218081495784940.html
2018-07-20T17:59:00Z
2018-07-20T17:59:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I began listening to you three years ago. I was already a one-year newlywed for the second time. I have three children and my husband has three children. We came back from a dream family vacation intended to make our newly formed "<em>salad</em>" family of six children bond with each other. <br /><br />The vacation I envisioned was not how it turned out, and when we returned, I was angry at my husband and stepchildren. I was arguing with my husband, putting him in the middle, and I was creating tension and rifts that even a counselor couldn't resolve. My marriage was going down a bad path, even though we had spent seven years dating (with no shacking up).<br /><br />Then I found your program. At first, I thought you were too blunt. How could these listeners call in and be talked to like that? But as I began listening more, it started to dawn on me. You don't sugar-coat things. You give the hard truth which is needed. Boy, that was a wake-up call for me. I then started to slowly realize that it wasn't my stepchildren or husband that caused our vacation to not go according to my plan. It was me!! I had set unrealistic expectations and never shared or discussed my vision with anyone else. I created the problem, and I WAS the problem. You knocked some painful but needed common sense into myself that summer. You helped me and my family tremendously, and we now have a great marriage, thanks to you.<br /><br />Please stay on the air forever!<br /><br />Ainsley<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-07-20T17:59:00Z
Choices
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Choices/436184270749728409.html
2018-07-19T17:59:00Z
2018-07-19T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I just love, love, love your new gavel! I laugh every time you use it.<br /><br />When my amazing husband passed away at age 59 several years ago, I was faced with a choice: curl up in a ball and let it defeat me or get back into life and really LIVE it with gusto to honor him and myself. I chose the latter, and I can testify that life can be fabulous on the other side of grief.<br /><br />Was it scary? Hell yes! But if I hadn't stepped out of my comfort zone, I would have never known the brilliant future that awaited me. I quit my career as a flight attendant to care for my husband when he became ill. When he died, I reinvented myself by starting a boutique public relations firm dedicated to authors. It was not a straight or easy path, but it was worth every setback, unsure moment and crazy learning curve for the past nine years. I am more confident and happy as a result. I have not remarried, because I have a full life and freedom and am whole on my own. <br /><br />We are given a chance to rewrite the story of our lives when a major life event throws us off course. It's a gift. Unwrap it. Use it to create a brilliant new life from the crucible of loss. Loss is not the end, but an invitation to change. <br /><br />Thank you for keeping it real.<br /><br />Lynda<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-07-19T17:59:00Z
Because Of Your Influence
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Because-Of-Your-Influence/283346597448683800.html
2018-07-18T17:59:00Z
2018-07-18T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I want to share with you the impact you had on my life, which, in turn, had a significant impact on my son's life. At the time I started listening to you 17 years ago, I had a baby under a year old. I was in a physically, emotionally, verbally and sexually abusive relationship. I had tried to leave a few times, but continued to get sucked back in. Once I really started hearing your message, I realized that I was responsible for this little life and who he would become. It took until my son was two years old before I finally got away, and it required several restraining orders to completely break free.<br /><br />Over the ensuing years, I went back to school and obtained degrees in forensic psychology and clinical mental health counseling, but my son was 14 before I started working full time. Before then, I took him to school and picked him up every day and went to all his practices and sports events. I was there for him 100%. I chose to stay single from the day I left my son's dad. I regret that my son didn't have a positive male role model in his life. He could have been just another statistic, but he has overcome the odds.<br /><br />My son graduates from high school this coming year, and he's ranked #1 in his graduating class. He has received several college scholarships, so the bulk of his education will be paid for. He has dreams and goals and has all the potential in the world to make those dreams come true.<br /><br />I'm excited for him to start his journey, and I'll be starting a new one as well. I made this child my priority in life and took raising him very seriously.... because of your influence. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.<br /><br />Jordan<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-07-18T17:59:00Z
Bringing Myself Back For My Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bringing-Myself-Back-For-My-Husband/-920449345275145691.html
2018-07-17T17:59:00Z
2018-07-17T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband and I have been married for six years and it's the second marriage for us both. I have adult children and he has none. We went through a few bad years -- my Mom passed away and my husband was diagnosed with cancer. With all the stress, I gained more than forty pounds. I wasn't happy with myself but kept making excuses. Then I was listening to you and you were talking to a woman who admitted getting fat. Your response hit me upside the head. The gist of it was that her husband loved her but didn't love the fat. She had gotten fat, and you encouraged her to do something about it, like starting a physical activity.<br /><br />I thought of my poor husband at that moment. He had married an attractive woman, and in just a few years, he no longer had what he married. So, I started walking two miles a day, and I started eating healthy. I'm now down 45 pounds.<br /><br />Several weeks ago, I got ready to go out for our sixth anniversary, and my husband told me how good I looked! So, thank you for that reality check. Just because he fell in love with me and married me doesn't give me the right to expect him to love me no matter what. Our house is much happier these days!<br /><br />Jocelyn <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-07-17T17:59:00Z
Remember He's a Man, Not a Woman
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Remember-Hes-a-Man,-Not-a-Woman/846927055168440653.html
2018-07-16T17:59:00Z
2018-07-16T17:59:00Z
<p><br />I am 30 years old, married to a wonderful man with three children ages 6, 5 and 1. My father-in-law gave me your book, "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," almost 8 years ago for Christmas. As a young, naive woman, I was offended he thought that was a good idea. I put it on the shelf and never read it.</p>
<p>My husband and I recently started to go down a road I thought we never would. I have prayed and prayed for the wisdom God needed me to have in order to restore my marriage. About four days ago, I went to the shelf and started to thumb through your book. Low and behold, God's plan was at my fingertips the whole time. Between my daily devotions and the knowledge I have found in your book, I feel like a new woman. My husband is happy again and I in return am happier than I have been in a long time. I know what you're saying...that it's only been four days since you start to transform your thinking! But it's true, when I stopped wanting my husband to think like a WOMAN and I was NICE to him on a daily basis and loved him the way I should, life completely changed!!! I have been neglecting him so much in the last eight years, it devastates me.</p>
<p>I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being so straightforward and cutting through all the crap. I needed a good butt chewing and I got it. I know we have a lot of work to do to keep our marriage strong but I have made a promise to myself: I will take it one day at a time and do everything I can to keep things in perspective and remember he's a man, NOT A WOMAN!!</p>
<p>Thank you for everything!</p>
<p>Brittany</p>
Staff
2018-07-16T17:59:00Z
Standing Up For Myself
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Standing-Up-For-Myself/991890133483634212.html
2018-07-13T17:59:00Z
2018-07-13T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />A few weeks ago, I was in a status meeting with my boss, other managers, and the support staff at our company. Side conversations always occur at these meetings, and I was involved in one when my boss asked me if I had taken my Ritalin that day and compared me to his teenage daughter. This infuriated me. <br /><br />After stewing at my desk, and feeling sorry for myself, I decided to send him an email. Here's what I wrote:<br /><br /><em>Today in our status meeting you asked me if I had taken Ritalin, implying that I have a behavior disorder and that I am a teenage child. You did this in front of my peers and support staff. I found these comments disrespectful and extremely unkind. At times, friends, family and co-workers and bosses hurt each other with their words and it's important that our relationships are strong enough to communicate when that happens. Perhaps in the future, you can find a more constructive way to accomplish what you were seeking. On my part, I will do my best to not talk in sidebars at these meetings.</em><br /><br />My boss responded:<br /><br /><em>I am truly sorry if I offended you in any way. I did not mean it in that way, and I apologize if that's how my comments were perceived. I was just joking, which we all tend to do from time to time in these meetings, and I'm sorry to have offended you. I will make sure to keep my "manager" hat on during these meetings in the future.</em><br /><br />Thanks, Dr. Laura for giving me the insight to see my part in this, but to stand up for myself as well. P.S. His behavior has changed, so it worked!<br /><br />Tammy <br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-07-13T17:59:00Z
Becoming The Wife I Should Be
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Becoming-The-Wife-I-Should-Be/-219995933754040923.html
2018-07-12T17:59:00Z
2018-07-12T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've been a fan of yours long enough to know that the mistake I made should never have happened. I didn't understand why I was feeling miserable and my husband and I were arguing when we hardly ever do that.<br /><br />Then, when I was on my daily walk, I jerked my head up and said out loud "<em>Boy, I've been acting like a total bitch!</em>" I don't know what came over me, but I went to my husband, gave him a huge apology, and said I would never allow myself to behave in that manner again. He was hugely relieved and (lucky for me) quick to forgive. I can't and won't ever let myself forget that ever again!<br /><br />I'm sure it was listening to your show that finally clued me in on my behavior because I listen daily. Thank you for helping "<em>debitchify</em>" me! I was a piece of work, and that was over a year ago. Since that time, I've followed your advice and been the "<em>wife I would want to come home to.</em>" Thank you!<br /><br />Jenni <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-07-12T17:59:00Z
The Value Of A Stay-At-Home Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Value-Of-A-Stay-At-Home-Mom/695754712230653264.html
2018-07-11T17:59:00Z
2018-07-11T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Every time you speak about the lack of love kids receive in daycare, I'm reminded of what happened to my nephew. He was three years old and went to a daycare run by a wonderful woman in her home. I thought this was an ideal setting because the child was in a home and not an institution. But just because something is a home or looks like a home doesn't mean that it is safe. Although this woman was caring and loving, she made a big mistake. <br /><br />My nephew was sleeping for his afternoon nap, when the woman had to pick up another child who had finished school. She left my nephew alone in the care of her boyfriend. Shortly after she left, my nephew woke up crying, because he didn't know the man who was there, and was inconsolable because no one else was there with him. The daycare owner's boyfriend proceeded to beat him with a meat tenderizer and strangled him into unconsciousness to make him stop crying. When the owner came back from collecting the other child, she discovered my nephew listless and knew something was wrong. When my sister picked him up, she was told that he should be taken to a doctor. The doctor noticed the marks on his body and that he was hemorrhaging around his eyes, indicating that he had been strangled.<br /><br />The boyfriend received two years in prison, and my 3-year-old nephew (who is now 22) lives every day with severe epilepsy and brain damage due to what was done to him. <br /><br />The value of a stay-at-home mom can never be stated enough. <br /><br />Melissa<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-07-11T17:59:00Z
Begging For Sex
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Begging-For-Sex/-897321767618654632.html
2018-07-10T17:59:00Z
2018-07-10T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I was talking to my husband about a call you took recently, where the wife couldn't understand why her husband was upset when she said she was too tired to make love. I explained to him what you told that caller, and that unfortunately, it seemed not to get through to her. My husband then said "<em>Well, Dr. Laura is heard by many people, so her wisdom definitely got through to some of those listening.</em>" Then he laughed and said many husbands would have a great night tonight and have no clue as to why (but wouldn't care anyway). <br /><br />He added that he was lucky to have a wife he didn't have to beg to have sex and what a big relief it is to him that we're happy, because of all the stories he hears at work about divorce and splitting up the children. We both feel very lucky and know that you have played a huge part in how I treat my wonderful husband. <br /><br />Jessica<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-07-10T17:59:00Z
A Dr. Laura Solution
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Dr.-Laura-Solution/-36342232242305879.html
2018-07-09T17:59:00Z
2018-07-09T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When my daughter was in first grade, I would often take off from work early to pick her up from school. We would then go to the school playground where she would play with a friend while I talked to the friend's mother as we watched our girls on the playground. We quickly became friends and then family friends. As time progressed, I could tell that this woman was interested in more than just friendship. Innocent compliments progressed to inappropriate comments and later blatant advances. Being happily married and fed up with the constant passes and the uncomfortableness of the situation, I happened on a Dr. Laura solution!<br /><br />The next time she propositioned me, I said "<em>Fine. Let's meet for lunch this week.</em>" When the time arrived, I was already seated at a secluded table in this trendy restaurant. Peeking out from the empty chair was the pink tissue paper from the gift I had bought for my new potential mistress. She arrived late, dressed to the nines, complete with cleavage and a short skirt. She beamed as I pulled her chair out for her. I put her hand in mine, looked into her eyes and whispered to her that I had been struggling with the moral dilemma, but I finally made a decision. She gushed. Then I handed her the gift bag, and she giggled and excitedly pulled back the tissue paper. Her brow wrinkled when she unwrapped the book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060520620/noxsolutions-20/ref=nosim" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a>!</em>" I told her she had a wonderful husband and a beautiful family, and she didn't need to throw it away for a few minutes of physical pleasure. I said if she put as much energy into catering to her husband as she had "<em>courting</em>" me, she would have a happier marriage.<br /><br />A few weeks later, I received an embarrassed phone call from my never-to-be paramour, thanking me for giving her the book that saved her marriage!<br /><br />Joe<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-07-09T17:59:00Z
I KNOW That I'm The Luckiest Man Alive
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-KNOW-That-Im-The-Luckiest-Man-Alive/-905711679323617621.html
2018-07-03T17:59:00Z
2018-07-03T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I wanted to share my wife's "<em>To Do</em>" list I found tucked in my travel bag.<br /><br /><strong>To Do list:</strong><br /><br />1. Keep my husband<span> <br /></span><span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>a. Happy<span> <br /></span><span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>b. Satisfied<span> <br /></span><span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>c. Loved in my arms<span> <br /></span><span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>d. Satisfied<span> <br /></span><span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>e. Amused<span> <br /></span><span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>f. Accompanied<span> <br /></span><span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>g. Kissed<span> <br /></span><span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>h. Held<span> <br /></span><span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>i. Acknowledged<span> <br /></span><span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>j. Appreciated<span> <br /></span><span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>k. Satisfied<br /><br />She signed it "<em>I adore you, my amazing husband. Your Jan.</em>"<br /><br />I am an over-the-road truck driver and enjoy a love note from her every time I head out for a week on the road. She also cooks healthy meals while I'm working and fills the fridge in the truck with a week's worth of great home cooking. When I'm home, she is always available to spend time with me, and when I'm at work, she's busy helping friends and neighbors and keeping our home a wonderful place to come back to. We listen to your program together - I'm in the truck and she's at home. We often hear you ask a caller if they have a house that their husband would love to come home to. I certainly do! I can't wait to return to my amazing wife. She tracks my arrival time and has a beer on ice for me. She runs to greet me when I walk through the door. Dr. Laura, there isn't another woman on the earth that could make me stray from my wife. I know that I'm the luckiest man alive.<br /><br />Dave<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-07-03T17:59:00Z
I Have News For Moms And Dads
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Have-News-For-Moms-And-Dads/-233789316165739988.html
2018-07-02T17:59:00Z
2018-07-02T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm 61 and you have unpeeled my life call by call. I want to back you up on all you say about daycare because I know firsthand what it's like.<br /><br />When I got dropped off at daycare or at the babysitter's, I felt abandoned, unloved, terribly confused and "less than." I had gut-wrenching anxiety every day. Those were the days before car seats, and I would lock myself in the car, so I wouldn't have to get out at the babysitter's.<br /><br />I have news for you Moms and Dads out there. The smiles at daycare or at the babysitter's home are dropped after the door closes. The babysitter really didn't want me either. It made for some very long, lonely days. My world was out of control and I was only three years old.<br /><br />As you can imagine, I ended up looking for love in all the wrong places. But you can rest assured that when I did get married and had children, they didn't go to daycare or to a babysitter. It wasn't negotiable. I was a stay-at-home Mom, who got chastised, criticized, ridiculed, disapproved of, laughed at, and even called "stupid." I didn't care. I stayed home with those babies, danced with them, walked with them, examined puddles with them and played in the snow. Now my babies are grown with babies of their own, and my son has actually thanked me for being a stay-at-home Mom. That's all the pay I've ever needed and had he never said that I still knew I had done the right thing.<br /><br />So, keep fighting the good fight Dr. Laura. We little kids are counting on you!<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />Suzie<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-07-02T17:59:00Z
The Realization Of What Truly Matters
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Realization-Of-What-Truly-Matters/-943056524836186697.html
2018-06-29T17:59:00Z
2018-06-29T17:59:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband and I have been married for twelve years and are raising four kids, raising in age from 5 to 11 years old. I've been a stay-at-home mom since day one, but two years ago, I got the crazy idea to open a small children's clothing boutique in hometown. I thought I could do it all. My kids came to work with me when they were not in school, and my hours were tailored to fit their school schedule, so it never interfered too much with family life. But there was always something missing. Life got hectic very fast, and I got caught up in the stress of owning a business and running a family. I forgot what truly mattered.<br /><br />So I made the decision to close the business. That's when my husband suggested we should consider homeschooling our kids. I thought he was insane, but after only one day of thinking about it, I got on board. I couldn't be more thrilled. Thank you for encouraging those of us who embark on this new journey in teaching our children. Now, I'll get to enjoy every moment with my kids, watching them blossom in our at-home classroom. <br /><br />You have changed my entire life since I was 18 (I'm 34 now). Keep on keeping on and changing the lives of Americans, one at a time!<br /><br />Leslie <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-06-29T17:59:00Z
A Nanny Is Not A Replacement For Mommy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Nanny-Is-Not-A-Replacement-For-Mommy/599912523934494412.html
2018-06-28T17:59:00Z
2018-06-28T17:59:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I was a stay-at-home mom for the entire upbringing of my children. I kept a very small piano-teaching business during those years and would often help out in our homeschool co-op programs all the way through high school. <br /> <br />I've heard you talk about nannies raising children, and I thought I'd share with you what I observed as a private piano teacher. I had a student whose mother had a very important job, and the mother attended school in the evenings to earn higher degrees. The father also worked outside the home. The little girl started piano lessons with me at age five. Her mother rarely brought her to lessons, which were in the evening. Instead, the nanny brought her and also watched her little brother in the waiting room. They were a wealthy family and had a very beautiful grand piano. <br /><br />The girl was sweet but spoiled. She told me many times that she didn't practice because the nanny didn't help her. She often came in sad, because she hadn't seen her mom in a while because she worked late or was at school. Her dad traveled too. When the nanny changed jobs, they canceled lessons. I felt so bad seeing this sad little girl who just missed her mom desperately and often told me that in her own words. <br /><br />Please continue to remind your listeners that a nanny is not a replacement at all for the most important relationship in a child's life.<br />Jan<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-06-28T17:59:00Z
The Job Jar
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Job-Jar/-450030391298956187.html
2018-06-27T17:59:00Z
2018-06-27T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br />When our kids were young, we had a "<em>Job Jar</em>" - a big jar in the kitchen with folded, small white pieces of paper in it. Each piece had a task and a dollar value attached. When the kids asked for money to get something, I would direct them to the jar, have them pull one of the pieces of paper (they didn't know what the contents or the dollar value was at that point), and that was how they earned money. <br /><br />We also had the "<em>I am Bored</em>" jar, much like the Job Jar, but more sinister! This was a jar you were sent to when you complained of being bored. You had to pick a random piece of paper and do the chore assigned to it. These would be things like "<em>fold the laundry,</em>" and there was no dollar value attached to items in the "<em>I Am Bored</em>" jar. This jar got quite dusty and very quickly I no longer heard the dreaded refrain "<em>I'm BORED!</em>" At a very young age, we also gave our children budgets for clothing that they controlled. For fall clothing, they might get a budget of $100 in cash. They got to make their own choices for appropriate clothing, had to be responsible for the cash themselves, and they had to deal with the sales staff at the store. Once it was gone, it was gone. This encouraged them to pay attention to how far money could go, and they learned how to shop the sales. And it was a lot of fun too.<br /><br />I look back at being a stay-at-home mom as my second childhood! I had a blast, and because of the bonding between us, we have a close and lovely family. Thank you for being my friend throughout the years.<br /><br />Your unknown "<em>bestie,</em>"<br /><br />Beverly<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-06-27T17:59:00Z
Shooting Straight
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Shooting-Straight/-363839484602540768.html
2018-06-26T17:59:00Z
2018-06-26T17:59:00Z
<br />I am a licensed professional counselor, whose private practice office shares a thin wall with the two-year-old's room in a daycare. I hear toddlers cry continuously, especially when parents are dropping off the child and they lie, saying they'll be "<em>right back</em>." If one child cries, the others do too. There are about 8 children in that room at any one time.<br /><br />People say that the child stops crying after the parent leaves. Boy, is that incorrect! The point is that people are putting their children in places where there is almost no peace. The daycare workers do not use soothing voices or go to them and pick them up to provide security. I've called the daycare owner about this, and she says she appreciates knowing what's happening since her office is at the other end of the facility. I am not naïve in thinking children need to be quiet and not cry, but I know that the adults in a child's life are responsible for teaching them how to modulate their emotions. These kids are not having their days filled with knowing they matter and that they are loved. This creates little humans who struggle emotionally, don't trust, question humanity, are selfish for extra attention and more. <br /><br />Usually, I use a sound barrier in my office, but sometimes I allow a patient who is a parent and sends their child to a daycare to hear the crying. When I do pre-marital counseling, I let the soon-to-be-married hear the crying as I inquire about their thoughts on having children and what their care may look like. I even give your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060520620/noxsolutions-20/ref=nosim" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>" to many of them. Thank you for all your wisdom. I know that I am not one of those weak-willed counselors. I shoot straight with genuine care and regard.<br /><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br />Muriel <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br /></span>
Staff
2018-06-26T17:59:00Z
The Center For The Unloved
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Center-For-The-Unloved/-931743534649508533.html
2018-06-25T17:59:00Z
2018-06-25T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My son was born in 1981 at a time when daycare was really coming into its own, and infant rooms were now available for working moms. I had a wonderful and fulfilling career as a paralegal and I fully intended to go back to work after my maternity leave.<br /><br />After my son was born, I started to visit these centers with infant rooms with my newborn son in my arms. Although decorated in bright colors and visually appealing, they consisted of cribs with tiny babies lying in the cribs with an attendant or two to care for all of them. I was horrified to think anyone would leave their baby to sit in a crib all day without the loving arms and touch of a mother, and yes, definitely unloved. <br /><br />I clutched my son tighter and returned home. I immediately called my supervisor to say that I would not be coming back to work. It was a struggle financially, but there was no way in the world I would ever leave the precious child who I nurtured inside my body in one of those centers to be unloved. I so applaud you for all the work you do on behalf of children and the support you extend to stay-at-home moms. I've listened to you for decades and you have always been a guiding light and inspiration to me. Thank you!<br /><br />Sara<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-06-25T17:59:00Z
Zero Tolerance For Disrespect
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Zero-Tolerance-For-Disrespect/143651030788650883.html
2018-06-22T17:59:00Z
2018-06-22T17:59:00Z
<br /><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Hi Dr. Laura:<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Recently, my 16-year-old daughter was in the cafeteria at school, eating with her friends. One of her guy friends at another table called to her and motioned for her. She decided to walk over. As she approached the table, a different guy, thinking he was being funny said,"<em>yeah, get your b*tch ass over there.</em>" My girl instinctively reeled around and smacked him. "<em>Don't ever talk to me that way,</em>" she said in a low voice and continued on. Some boys went "oooooh<em>.</em>" Others just sat with gaping mouths. My daughter is 5 feet tall and a ballerina - the sweetest, kindest little thing in the world with a dimple when she smiles. But she was not going to tolerate being called that.</span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br />The boys all treat her now with so much respect, you can't believe it. Not too long ago, she had her first date. The boy came up to the front door (required by us), met by my husband. My husband shook his hand, looked him in the eye and asked where he intended to take her and when they'd be home. "<em>You take care of my daughter,</em>" he said. As they walked away, his demeanor softened. "<em>Have a good time!</em>" </span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br />My daughter knows her alpha male daddy loves her and will protect her. The boy opened the car door, paid her way, bought her popcorn at the movies, returned her home on time, and told her he had a wonderful time. </span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br />Thank you so much for being there with me and for me, giving me the courage to keep working hard to maintain high standards, to model sweetness and strength, and to aspire to what they used to call virtue.<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">A grateful, pedestal-sitting Mom,</span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br />Tammy</span><br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-06-22T17:59:00Z
No Snowflakes Allowed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-Snowflakes-Allowed/447515564685635455.html
2018-06-21T17:59:00Z
2018-06-21T17:59:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Recently, my 8-year-old daughter asked me to tie her shoes before school because she said she didn't know how to do it, but she does. She just wanted me to do it for her. I untied my own shoe and offered to tie mine alongside her, so she could see what I was doing. She agreed, but quickly gave up and started to whine. I almost tied the shoe for her, but then I heard your voice inside my head saying, "<em>do not turn her into a snowflake!</em>" So, I calmly suggested she get a different pair of shoes for school, and we'd work on tying shoes when we got home. She got the other pair but was visibly upset. I said to her that I didn't say that to be mean, but if I kept doing things for her, she'd never know how to do them for herself. After thinking about that, her demeanor changed for the better.<br /><br />While she was at school, I found an online video of a Mom teaching her four-year-old son to tie his shoes. When I picked her up, I handed her my iPad and let her watch the video. When we got home, I asked her to tie her shoes ten times, just like the boy in the video. And you know what? She did it without a problem and she's been doing it ever since. <br /><br />Lana<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-06-21T17:59:00Z
The Fear Of Becoming A Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Fear-Of-Becoming-A-Man/483393515039040276.html
2018-06-20T17:59:00Z
2018-06-20T17:59:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />After dating for three years, my girlfriend and I had been shacking up. I could never figure out why I didn't propose to her. I thought I was too young, but that wasn't it. I was afraid of becoming a husband and father because I didn't think I was good enough.<br /><br />After listening to you, I realized that some aspects of my personality reminded me of the guys you tell girls not to marry, and I have since begun working to make myself a better man, including proposing to my girlfriend.<br /><br />Hearing about your new online course made me and my new fiancée jump for joy. It just seems like fate that you made the series right after our engagement. We have both signed up for it. <br /><br />Thank you for everything you do, because I am convinced this generation is too soft for your great advice. I plan on being the best husband I can be, and I know my fiancée will be the best wife and a great mother, all thanks to you. I am very lucky to live in an era where you are still doling out advice, and I'll listen to you for as long as you want to keep going.<br /><br />Matthew<br /> <br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-06-20T17:59:00Z
Don't Give Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dont-Give-Up/-343654549796853378.html
2018-06-19T17:59:00Z
2018-06-19T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I was married at age 22, had four children by age 29, and divorced at 30. My husband had an affair and made it clear he did not want to stay married no matter how much I wanted to for the sake of the kids, who were then all under the age of 7. I want to thank you for the part you played in helping me every day during those hard years when tears were so often my companion. I chose not to talk badly about my ex to my kids and I put my kids first in all situations. You were the one who persuaded me to act with dignity, which was hard because I wanted to tell the world what a jerk my ex-husband was. I didn't. I decided to let his actions speak for themselves.<br /><br />I went without the finer things in life - no fancy trips, cars or clothes - in order to stay home with my kids. I learned that I could do this and be happy. When I got divorced all those years ago, I prayed that my kids would be okay despite having a crappy dad. That prayer was answered, and you were part of that answer. <br /><br />I want to tell all the divorced moms out there who are in the trenches now as I was, with long nights to get through and tears that fall to your pillows, who go to bed exhausted every night and who feel that there is not a soul on earth who understands that they should not give up. One day you'll look back and depending on your choices to act with either dignity and self-control or despair and destruction, your reward will either be joy or a whole big world of regret. I'm proud to say that regret is something I will never have to live with when it comes to how I raised my kids, thanks in large part to you.<br /><br />Rhonda<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-06-19T17:59:00Z
Putting My Son First
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Putting-My-Son-First/-674491128790137411.html
2018-06-18T17:59:00Z
2018-06-18T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Nineteen years ago, I was a Criminal Investigator with a District Attorney's office, as part of a Crimes Against Children task force. I was well-trained and passionate about a career in law enforcement, even though it was challenging, given the nature of the work and the horrors I was exposed to. That all changed when I got pregnant. I couldn't fathom how I was going to effectively raise my child while remaining in the field I was in, or even working at all. <br /><br />This was both devastating and eye-opening, for I realized what I needed to do. I decisively left both the job I loved and my career in law enforcement so that I could raise my son as a stay-at-home mom. That was what really mattered, and what I needed to do. My feelings, happiness, or career dreams became irrelevant to what my child would need from his mother.<br /><br />Since then, I became a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, which allowed me to put my son first by having a flexible schedule and not working unless he was in school. While I don't have the same passion for social work that I did for law enforcement, I don't regret my decision at all. Sadly, I hear some callers struggle with this decision. Sacrifice is one of the hallmarks of motherhood, and to hear a mother who hesitates to sacrifice in raising her own children is disheartening. I see firsthand the connection between poor early childhood parenting attachment and many of our societal problems. Please keep advocating for mothers to raise their own children, and thank you for your continued moral presence in my life.<br /><br />With gratitude and love, <br /><br />Diane <br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-06-18T17:59:00Z
Surrounded By Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Surrounded-By-Love/-30918746975824656.html
2018-06-15T17:59:00Z
2018-06-15T17:59:00Z
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Dear Dr. Laura:<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">I recently heard a woman call in about putting her children in daycare so she could go back to work because there was no other way to go about it in her eyes. The call was frustrating because I am also a working mother, but I work six 12-hour night shifts in a row. I do this so I'm only working twelve nights out of the month. I sleep during the day when my two-year-old son takes his nap. During the six nights I work, my son is home with my sweet, handsome hard-working father. <br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">My son only knows that he is surrounded by love. My son is either with me, my husband or both of us, and he is thriving. I am the product of teenage parents who didn't make it work. My mother was a self-proclaimed feminist who stayed with my stepfather even though he was a severe alcoholic and treated her, me and my siblings terrible. My bio dad had a number of severe medical issues that prevented him from being a parent. I grew up being bounced around from family member to family member, and from daycare to daycare because she could not handle my temperament. I was a "bad" kid according to her with an attitude problem. I wonder why!<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Two years ago, my husband introduced me to your show. So many lightbulbs went off for me that I was instantly hooked. I listen now every day and thank you for leading me to be a real mother to my son, a girlfriend to my husband, and a woman whose past will not destroy her future.<br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Soraya</span><br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-06-15T17:59:00Z
DNA Doesn't Mean Much
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/DNA-Doesnt-Mean-Much/-547359459700438340.html
2018-06-14T17:59:00Z
2018-06-14T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />After four years of infertility, my husband and I got pregnant with our little girl, Sophie. In 2000, Sophie died inside of me moments before I gave birth. We held, loved and buried our wondrous girl. And then in 2001, we had an opportunity to adopt some embryos that were scheduled for destruction. They had been frozen for 11 years, and at the time, were the oldest frozen embryos to be implanted. <br /><br />My brother and sister are adopted, so to me, "<em>bloodline</em>" means nothing. So we went through the implantation of four embryos, two of which took. I got pregnant with twins and gave birth to two healthy, gorgeous babies. They became the oldest frozen embryos to result in a live birth. So, not only are they miracles, but they know their miraculous story and enjoy telling others how they were frozen for 11 years. They are about to turn 16.<br /><br />I've noticed a spattering of calls to your show lately from people who have lots of reasons why they don't want to adopt. I hope that hearing my story, they may realize that your child is your child no matter whose DNA rushes through their veins.<br /><br />Ann<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-06-14T17:59:00Z
An Epidemic Of Disrespect
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/An-Epidemic-Of-Disrespect/192080372316230354.html
2018-06-13T17:59:00Z
2018-06-13T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />School shootings have increased in the last 20 years, and so has the decline and focus on home life and the family. In homes where both parents work, children are often "<em>raised</em>" by TV, video games, cell phones, and other devices. Teachers no longer have the authority to discipline they once had. Kids tell their version of what happened at school to the parents, and the parents proceed to tell the teachers off. We're tearing down all levels of respect. <br /><br />I was a kid with ADD (but at the time, I was told it was "<em>defiant disorder</em>"), but I was channeled in the right direction with lots of outdoor play, imaginary play, and yes, sometimes a spanking because I was out of control. I had a mom who greeted me every day after school, and a dad who got home shortly after 5 from work. We lived a rather meager lifestyle, but I always felt safe and loved in our home. We knew if Mom said "no,' then dad would back her up and vice-versa. We had rules and consequences if those rules were broken. I made plenty of mistakes, but none of them included hurting another human being or pointing a gun at someone (and we had several guns in our home). I would never have dreamed of doing those things, and I believe strongly that it was a direct result of my home life.<br /><br />I believe these things are lacking in our day, and I fear we will see more tragedies like this because our home life is no longer a priority. I hope people awake to this epidemic before it is too late. Thank you, Dr. Laura, for advocating for the family! I am a proud stay-at-home mom.<br /><br />Celia<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-06-13T17:59:00Z
Working Moms And Their True Feelings
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Working-Moms-And-Their-True-Feelings/551439562172914036.html
2018-06-12T17:59:00Z
2018-06-12T17:59:00Z
<br />My sister and I often discuss the topic of "<em>working moms</em>," and the ridiculous things we've heard them say to justify the fact that they're really abandoning their children. Here are just a few things we've heard from the mouths of working moms we've met:<br /><br /><ol>
<li><em>I'm going to leave my baby in there a few extra hours today, so I can spend some time at the mall. That baby drives me nuts.</em></li>
<br />
<li><em>Daycare is where kids are socialized. It's the best thing you can do for a baby.</em></li>
<br />
<li><em>I picked up my kid last year and she had a rash covering her entire body. The employee said the daycare wasn't responsible. I believed her and just took my kid back there because I don't want to have to deal with the kid.</em></li>
<br />
<li><em>Working gives me freedom. Kids drain your energy. You need "you" time. Daycare is the answer, trust me.</em></li>
<br />
<li><em>I wish daycare was on weekends too. I need a break then as well.</em></li>
<br />
<li><em>The kids were screaming while I was on a conference call the other day. I yelled at them and told them to go play or just get out of my way. I don't think they understand that I work to buy them all the nice electronics they have.</em></li>
<br />
<li><em>My husband says I need to work. He would rather have me supporting our family than taking care of the kids at home. It helps relieve him of the burden of being the sole support of the family. Plus, the daycare girls are wonderful. They sent me pictures of my baby taking his first steps!</em></li>
<br />
<li><em>Stay-at-home moms are like those women who do yoga all day. When you work, your husband sees you as "valuable" to the family.</em></li>
<br />
<li><em>I don't see any stay-at-home moms in my city with as big a pool as we have. We need the extra money!</em></li>
<br />
<li><em>I have no voice in my marriage if I don't work. You can't bark orders at your husband if you aren't making a monetary contribution to the family. Money is the answer.</em></li>
</ol><br />My sister and I still can't believe we've heard these things! Unfortunately, the children are the ones who suffer. Thanks for being a voice of reason and for making a difference in our lives.<br />Mariah<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-06-12T17:59:00Z
To Change Your Life, You Must Take Action
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/To-Change-Your-Life,-You-Must-Take-Action/631662829565491580.html
2018-06-11T17:59:00Z
2018-06-11T17:59:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am a 28-year-old mental health therapist. "<em>Unconditional positive regard</em>" was my motto in my personal and professional life, and it was killing me. I didn't know why. I was new to SiriusXM and I was excited to find a show like yours. After hearing you take a call, my first reaction was "<em>what a bitch!</em>" However, the caller didn't hang up. She listened, and I was intrigued. Then I began to understand how unconditional positive regard toward others leads to their walking all over you. The more I listened to you, the more I woke up. I saw that I was the sole cause of my own misery because I allowed it. I engaged with people who were toxic for me. You taught me how to say no and how to stand up for myself. You taught me that tough love is necessary for growth and change. You have become my "<em>left brain</em>" and I listen to you every day. <br /><br />I am no longer a millennial snowflake, walking around like I deserve for everyone to be nice to me because I am nice to them. I took responsibility for my student debt and no longer placed blame on my parents because I WAS THE ONE who signed the papers and agreed to the terms. Your feedback regarding romantic relationships, seeing red flags early on and taking action changed my life.<br /><br />You've helped me change physically, mentally and spiritually. I am the person I am today because of you. So, to those of you who think Dr. Laura is a bitch, keep listening! She is honest, authentic, genuine, loving, and understands how to live in line with her moral compass. Dr. Laura, there are not many people like you left. Thank you.<br /><br />Kara<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-06-11T17:59:00Z
Making Beautiful Music
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Beautiful-Music/653389112738341424.html
2018-06-08T17:59:00Z
2018-06-08T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />All of us have heard you talk about making positive changes in our lives. Many of us are afraid and resist change of any kind. Here's a great way to look at it:<br /><br />I can tap a piano key and make noise, strike a guitar chord and make noise, or rhythmically hit a drum. All this will simply be annoying noise. However, if it's all put <em>together</em> and then <strong>change</strong> is added, it becomes beautiful music.<br /><br />We need change; we look for change. If you're in a situation that is just annoying noise, make a change. As spooky and as hard as it is, there just might be beautiful music waiting for you to discover. I'm off to march to the beat of my own drum!<br /><br /><br />Todd<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-06-08T17:59:00Z
There Is No Substitute For Mommy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/There-Is-No-Substitute-For-Mommy/-361044929194481081.html
2018-06-07T17:59:00Z
2018-06-07T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />This is a letter to an unknown woman whose son I saw in the supermarket the other afternoon:<br /><br /><em>I happened to see a woman pushing your young son in a shopping cart when I was in the supermarket. I didn't think much about it until I heard him ask sweetly "Can I get something for my mommy?" The woman snapped back at him loudly and rudely "We are NOT buying anything for your mother!" </em><br /><br /><em>I turned my head at this to find his sweet little face crestfallen and embarrassed. A few aisles over I heard him ask if he could get you an apple. The woman said "no," and again, his face fell. </em><br /><br /><em>I don't know your situation, or why he wasn't in your care, but clearly, after observing the pair for a while, this woman did not hold any affection for your boy. She didn't make conversation with him or smile at him. She offered no happy hugs or playful banter. She was there about her business, which certainly didn't include making your child feel loved, or, in this case, even WANTED. My heart went out to your child. I wanted to give him a hug and tell him how sweet and thoughtful he was to be thinking about you. He, after all, was loving YOU all day.</em><br /><br /><br />Jan <br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-06-07T17:59:00Z
Raise Your Own Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raise-Your-Own-Children/-693477982394374226.html
2018-06-06T17:59:00Z
2018-06-06T17:59:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've been a school nurse for the past 18 years at a <em>private</em> school of approximately 600 students. I did not work until my children were in school, and then I was able to work at the same school they attended, so I was off when they were off. I'm proud to say my daughter who is now grown is a stay-at-home mom to her two young children!<br /><br />I have seen many students in our early childhood program at school who literally do get "<em>dumped</em>" here by their NON-working moms because some say their children are "bored" at home. Our school day this past year was from 7:50 AM to 3:45 PM and there are children under three years of age who are here for the full day, and some attend our after-school program. We do have wonderful women working in our baby room and playgroup, but there are 18 children in the playgroup room, ranging in age from 18 months to two years, and there truly is no way these women can provide the loving care that a mother can. The teachers agree with me and try to do their job as well as possible, but there's only so much they can do. Sometimes, I even have to beg parents to pick up their sick children! I hear "<em>can't you just give them a Tylenol?</em>" way too often. It truly breaks my heart.<br /><br />Please continue to do your wonderful job of encouraging women to raise their own children. Thank you for all you stand for.<br /><br />Lily<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-06-06T17:59:00Z
Endurance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Endurance/88460207037300828.html
2018-06-05T17:59:00Z
2018-06-05T17:59:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Back in April, I called you and you suggested I block my Mom's phone number and any member of my extended family who did not like my decisions. I have maintained all those "<em>blocks</em>" because of your help and use of that one word: ENDURANCE! I know sometimes you think people don't always hear what you're telling them, but I was listening! And every single day, I hear you saying to me - ENDURE! And I just smile.<br /><br />My life has changed dramatically for the better since April, all because I was able to be honest with myself and endure. I had been trying to deal with the drama and now I have this amazing endurance to stay AWAY from the drama. Even with Mother's Day coming and going, I was just fine. I celebrated my Mother's Day with my own children, and it was the best one yet. I wish I had been a listener of yours years ago because then I would have had my "<em>block</em>" party a lot sooner. <br /><br />Lastly, I've posted this on my wall - it's from Webster's Dictionary and it's the definition of endurance: "<em>the ability or strength to continue or last, especially despite fatigue, stress, or other adverse conditions; stamina.</em>" Thank you, Dr. Laura, and I hope you keep up YOUR endurance for people who don't listen carefully to what you say to them!<br /><br />Mandie<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-06-05T17:59:00Z
Keeping Your Values Strong Through The Years
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-Your-Values-Strong-Through-The-Years/794562510581013101.html
2018-06-04T18:01:00Z
2018-06-04T18:01:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm 28 years old and listened to you with my mom when I was growing up. About 15 years ago, you took a call that really made an impression on me. A woman called because her daughter had a boyfriend who had given her an expensive piece of jewelry. You told the mom to have the daughter give it back because it was inappropriate for her to accept such a lavish gift. <br /><br />A few years after that, MY boyfriend gave me an expensive necklace. I was terrified that my mom would remember what you said, and I would have to return it. Since I was only sixteen at the time, I wasn't about to remind her! By the way, that boyfriend is now my husband!<br /><br />Even though I might not have done the right thing at that time, I was thrilled to recently discover you on SiriusXM. Thank you for being such an important influence in my life in so many ways at a time when I was most impressionable. I learned through the experiences of others what direction to take in life, and how to avoid situations I didn't ever want to be in myself. I'm happily married to a great guy, and we have a four-month-old son who will not ever see the inside of a daycare facility. He will grow up having the same active conversations with me that I did with my mom, and I hope he will take those moments to heart. <br /><br />Mary <br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-06-04T18:01:00Z
Being A Stay At Home Mom Is Serious Business
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-A-Stay-At-Home-Mom-Is-Serious-Business/182359483231926400.html
2018-06-01T17:59:00Z
2018-06-01T17:59:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Recently, my seven-year-old son outgrew his stash of underwear. Knowing he has become very particular about the type of underwear he prefers, I sat down with him to find out exactly what kind he wanted (I also hope Tommy John creates a children's line soon!). After talking with him, and showing him options online, he made his selection.<br /><br />When the underwear arrived, I put it in his room to find as a surprise when he got home from school. As I was making him a snack, I heard a tear-filled voice urgently cry "<em>Mom! Come here, </em>please<em>! NOW!!</em>" I found him sitting on his bed, surrounded by the different underwear with tears streaming and a very sad face. He looked at me and said "<em>They're not right. The new underwear is BROKEN!</em>" I stood there confused, as these were the exact multi-colored pairs he'd picked out. So, I sat down and asked "<em>Honey, help me understand. What exactly is broken?</em>" He looked at me, and picked up each individual pair, saying "<em>Well, every single one is broken. The red pair doesn't smell like strawberries, the blue one doesn't smell like blueberries and the yellow one doesn't smell like bananas. The bag says, 'Fruit of the Loom,' and NONE of them smells like any fruit at all!</em>"<br /><br />It took all I had to not smile and laugh, because to him, this was very serious business. I put on my serious face and said "<em>Oh dear. You are right</em>." And because you, Dr. Laura, have helped me to understand the importance of being a stay-at-home mom, I was able to spend the afternoon with him explaining that underwear doesn't smell like fruit, helping him with his homework, and having a Nerf gun battle in the backyard. I can't thank you enough for these moments and memories.<br /><br />Allie<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-06-01T17:59:00Z
Surrendering Myself To My Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Surrendering-Myself-To-My-Marriage/-423473273200278853.html
2018-05-31T17:59:00Z
2018-05-31T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I am 54 and my husband is 49; we've been married for 17 years. Currently, we're happy to take care of each other's needs, talk lovingly about the other in front of people, hug and kiss a lot, and thoroughly enjoy spending time together. It wasn't always this way.<br /><br />When we first married, I wanted to keep my last name, spend money the way I saw fit, carry on with my own schedule, and basically ignore his needs and desires. I married him because he was another income. During the first few years, there was tension, arguing, snarky-ness and an overall attitude that I called the shots at home. My husband, however, never yelled at me. He'd leave me alone rather than engage in a battle when I was clearly armed for it in volume and attitude. The next day he would still say "<em>I love you</em>," and go to work to support me and our new, young son. I gave him sex, but it wasn't making love. I tested him on every level you can imagine, seeing what I could do that would make him leave. My father abandoned me at the age of 10, and after the divorce, never looked back. <br /><br />I often wondered why this man wanted to put up with me, but he carried on with patience, kindness and commitment. Six years into the marriage, I knew he wasn't going to leave and wasn't going to abandon me. He loved me for who I was. I didn't understand this because no one in my life had ever said that to me, let alone showed me with day-to-day actions. I knew I had to improve the way I treated him. So, I picked up "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1527794897&sr=1-1&keywords=the+proper+care+feeding+of+husbands" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>." I began surrendering my protective armor and really opening up to him. After 10 years of marriage, I finally let myself be totally vulnerable to him. At this point, I offered myself to him body and soul. I don't feel a bit used or not appreciated or loved. This happy scenario could have gone in another direction. It could have dissolved into a shattered mess had I let it. <br /><br />Your program and your books have and will continue to teach women that it is to THEIR benefit to treat and love men in the ways you explain. I have no doubt you help mend and save many marriages and kids' lives. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.<br /><br /><br />Rory<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-05-31T17:59:00Z
A House Isn't A Home Without Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-House-Isnt-A-Home-Without-Mom/-806819306666466120.html
2018-05-30T17:59:00Z
2018-05-30T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When I was pregnant, my husband and I moved to another state to be closer to family. When we purchased our house, we made sure that the mortgage and insurance were affordable on his income alone. The bank said that we could buy a house that was fifty thousand dollars more than our budget, but we preferred to have a smaller house and save the additional money for a rainy day, as we figured we were sure to face some in the years ahead. <br /><br />When my daughter was in the first grade, her best friend's family bought a large new house. Both parents worked, and my daughter's friend bragged incessantly about having the biggest, best house in the neighborhood. One night before bed, my daughter became tearful and told me that she wished we could have a bigger house too. I thought about it for a moment and then told her that we could, indeed, have a bigger house. The tears stopped, and she got excited. But then I explained to her that I would go back to work so we could afford the bigger house. Just like her friend's mom, there would be many nights I wouldn't get home in time to tuck her into bed. I'd have to hire a babysitter to pick her up from school and keep her for the afternoon, just like her friend. I probably wouldn't get to school events either, and we wouldn't spend time together after school, but at least we could get a bigger and nicer house. Well, then the tears started again! She decided that maybe she didn't want the bigger, better house after all, as it would come at too great a cost, even in her little seven-year-old mind. <br /><br />She's 18 now and has come to understand and appreciate the financial sacrifices my husband and I made so that I would be home with her. I'm hoping she'll follow in my footsteps and make her children a number one priority. A big house is very nice, but it's not a home unless there's a mom in it available for love and hugs whenever needed.<br /><br />Jenny (an 18 year veteran of stay at home mom-ing)<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-05-30T17:59:00Z
Being Your Husband's Girlfriend
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-Your-Husbands-Girlfriend/-693553939558484411.html
2018-05-29T17:59:00Z
2018-05-29T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Today was my twelfth wedding anniversary. My lovely husband is quite forgetful, so I figured he would forget, then rush to the store to buy me flowers, but that's not what happened. <br /><br />Every year, on our anniversary, I put on my wedding dress, play our wedding song and ask him to dance with me. Today, he had to go out for an hour, and while he was gone, I put on makeup, sprayed perfume in all the right places, put on my gown, and as soon as he walked back in the door I hit "<em>play</em>" on Tony Bennett's "<em>The Way You Look Tonight.</em>" His face lit up, he got choked up and held me close as we swayed to the music. I got emotional too as I thought of that lovely day, and as the tears fell down my cheeks, he said, "<em>You look just as beautiful today as you did then,</em>" and handed me a gift bag with a beautiful silk blouse in it (silk is a gift for a twelfth wedding anniversary).<br /><br />I have to thank YOU for that silk blouse. I believe I got it because I am my husband's girlfriend. I cook him what he likes, I love him, and I give him compliments every day. I love my husband and he knows it, and that is why he remembered today. Thank you, Mother Laura, for your wise words and your wonderful spirit.<br /><br />Nadia<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-05-29T17:59:00Z
Making Your Marriage Fun
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Your-Marriage-Fun/980933330005736220.html
2018-05-25T17:59:00Z
2018-05-25T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I have been married for 38 years. Now and then, we plan little things to surprise each other. For my birthday one year, my husband hung sexy underwear from fishing line down the hallway ceiling! Needless to say, it was a very fun night. I make him seafood dinners that I know he loves, even though I'm not a fan of seafood (I cook something else for myself those times). We started from the beginning to make our marriage fun, and we still do that, putting each other's happiness first. If you BOTH do that, then you both are happy and feel loved!<br /><br />My dad gave us terrific advice when we were expecting our first child. He said to remember that we were husband and wife before we were "<em>mom</em>" and "<em>dad,</em>" and the best gift we could give our child was to be a happy mom and dad. It stuck with us. We learned to have fun at home with our kids and not always spend lots of money going out. <br /><br />Sometimes, I compare marriage to the weather. Some days are sunny and beautiful, and others are windy, rainy and annoying. Marriage can be like that, but just like the weather, things change, and the sun always does come out. In marriage, however, you must make the decision to make it work so the sun DOES come out almost all the time!<br /><br />Stacey<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-05-25T17:59:00Z
He Made My Wish Come True
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Made-My-Wish-Come-True/-786483178622097039.html
2018-05-24T17:59:00Z
2018-05-24T17:59:00Z
<p><br />I have been married to a wonderful man for almost four years, and we have two sons, aged 2 and 5 months old. I used to work over forty hours a week on a head injury unit as a speech pathologist. I continued to do so after having my first son. I'd drop him off at my parents' house at 7AM and pick him up at 4PM. It was horrible. I felt like I wasn't a mom.<br /><br />When we got pregnant a second time, I knew that I just did not want to continue what I was doing but was nervous to talk to my husband about it, because I didn't know if we could financially swing the change. Well, I only had to say once that I wanted to leave my job and be a mom to our boys, and he said, "<em>don't worry; I'll figure it out.</em>" <br /><br />It's been 7 months now that I've been a stay-at-home mom, doing a few home care cases four hours a week just to keep my foot in the door. I have meals ready for my husband when he gets home every day, and I tell him every night how much I appreciate him as he has made it possible for me to do the most amazing thing in the world - raise our sons. <br /><br />Teresa</p>
<p> </p>
Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-05-24T17:59:00Z
Learning To Appreciate Men
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-To-Appreciate-Men/-178403256783151911.html
2018-05-24T17:59:00Z
2018-05-24T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I was raised in the south by women who were strong and independent, but who, unlike many women today, loved and appreciated all men - their husbands first, but then also friends and relatives. When I was in college, I had occasion to be hanging out with my mother and several aunts. One of the aunts was a professional, well-educated woman who had never married (back in those days, she was called an "<em>old maid!</em>"). The ladies were having a silly conversation about their men leaving the toilet seat up and they were laughing about foolish reactions they had witnessed others having about said events.<br /><br />That's when my aunt spoke up and declared forcefully in her very best Southern drawl, <em>"Well, let me tell you one thing! If I walked into my bathroom and saw the toilet seat up, I would shout HALLELUJAH!!!!" </em><br /><br />Because of these dear women, I, too, grew up loving and appreciating men, and I hope and believe I have passed this way of thinking on to my own daughter.<br /><br />Amy <br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-05-24T17:59:00Z
Men Are Not Complicated
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Men-Are-Not-Complicated/-202264863279990543.html
2018-05-23T17:59:00Z
2018-05-23T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Recently, I got a text from my husband that said he would be home in a few minutes and wouldn't mind finding me naked in bed! My first thought was "<em>Oh, no! I have so much to do before the kids get out of school. I don't want to mess up my makeup and hair, and I just wasn't 'in the mood.'</em>" <br /><br />Well, YOUR voice popped into my head, and I thought this would be the perfect way to show affection, love, put his needs ahead of mine and be his girlfriend. He came home to me in bed waiting for him. He was so nice, thoughtful and helpful for the rest of the day. He dealt with the kids, so I could sit down and eat my dinner in peace. He talked with me instead of just sitting in his chair with his cell phone open. To top it all off, he gave me the best backrub ever that night.<br /><br />Your advice is so true. Men are not complicated. You give them some attention, love, and meet their needs, and they will do anything for you! We will be married 20 years in June, and I intend to still be my husband's girlfriend for many years to come.<br /><br />Ainsley <br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-05-23T17:59:00Z
Doing The Right Thing, Not The Easy Thing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Doing-The-Right-Thing,-Not-The-Easy-Thing/-588866530193006955.html
2018-05-22T17:59:00Z
2018-05-22T17:59:00Z
<br />I am a proud stay-at-home mom to a four-year-old boy, with another on the way. My husband and I are so happy, and it's all because of you! If you could hear my son saying "<em>do the right thing</em>" at the end of each show, you would melt to the ground! Every day, I try to live by your words - I do the right thing and not the easy thing. <br /><br />That's what made me quit my job as a teacher four months ago to be a stay-at-home mom. When my son was small, I should not have listened to all the veteran working moms who told me that my child would only cry for a few weeks until he got adjusted to whichever paid person was watching him. I didn't listen to my child's cry and his needs, because I was busy feeling needed at a job and getting the affirmation that I was a noble person because I was a teacher. I felt like I was trying to raise other parents' children who didn't have time for them because they were too busy working! <br /><br />Without a doubt, all the kids who acted up in my classes had parents who were too busy working and couldn't be bothered to parent their own kids. The kids were always covered in money and bragged about the latest vacation they had taken. That was a hard reality check for me. The day I decided to quit to become a mother to my own child, was the day I will always celebrate for not being a self-centered individual. I no longer miss out on my son's spontaneous hugs and kisses, and his little voice telling me that he loves me like the sun and the moon in the sky. Our home is happier and stronger because of you. I know I did the right thing by my child. You've taught me morals and values that I was never taught by my own parents.<br /><br />Celeste<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-05-22T17:59:00Z
The Grass Will Grow Again, But The Kids Won't
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Grass-Will-Grow-Again,-But-The-Kids-Wont/-351787990725956696.html
2018-05-21T17:58:00Z
2018-05-21T17:58:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />As a kid, I organized a backyard baseball game. We made bases, formed teams and started playing. It wasn't long before we started to wear down the grass and make "<em>trails</em>" between the bases. <br /><br />Arriving home one afternoon, my dad noticed this immediately and he was not pleased with the damage to his lawn. As he proceeded to tell us to stop, the back window flew open, and my mom stuck her head out. She hollered to him "<em>Gordon! You leave those kids alone. The grass will grow again, but the kids won't</em>." She paused while he quickly retreated, then she said, "<em>You kids go right ahead with your game - don't worry about the grass.</em>" We did, and never heard another complaint about the grass being tromped on.<br /><br />What a profound lesson from a woman born of humble roots on a farm during the depression! Kids grow up only once. There are no do-overs, and this is not a dress rehearsal. I'm often reminded of the need to focus on the long-term, rather than the immediate, in many contexts, not just in child-rearing. And I have my Mom to thank for it.<br /><br />Thank you to so many moms hearing this email for your wisdom and example to all of us husbands and kids alike. We love you for seeing the big picture of life and reminding us of it...however indelicately! <br /><br /><br />A grateful son/husband/father,<br /><br />Roger<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-05-21T17:58:00Z
Learning A Lesson In Gratitude
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-A-Lesson-In-Gratitude/-882566863974544198.html
2018-05-18T17:59:00Z
2018-05-18T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Recently, you took a call from a young mom who desperately wanted a second child. Her attempts to conceive had not been successful, and your response to her consisted of two words: Be grateful. My husband and I have been trying for our first child for over three years. During that time, we have lost three babies. Through this season in our lives, we have had to actively shift our focus from our desperation to our gratitude. It has taken me a long time, but a lot of my progress is due in part to listening to you. <br /><br />I am grateful for my incredible husband. I am grateful for our adorable foster/rescue dogs and cats who have come into our lives and have learned to love and trust again. I am grateful that going through my own losses has taught me how to approach someone amid their pain. Like you say, you can't really say anything, but you can just hug and be there for them. I am grateful that my heart has been softened over these three years. And most importantly, I am grateful for the short, precious moments that I have been pregnant. Seeing the flickering heartbeats of life within me has changed the way I view my incredible role as a woman and the strength of the female body to produce and nurture life. Being grateful has given me the freedom to live in this season of my life.<br /><br />This doesn't mean that my moments of despair, frustration, and sadness vanish. Yet within those dark moments, I can find a glimmer of hope in what I do have. Thank you for giving all of us the ability to be grateful during our deepest pain.<br /><br />Beth<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-05-18T17:59:00Z
Staying United
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Staying-United/664676027917823726.html
2018-05-17T17:59:00Z
2018-05-17T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Growing up, it was always apparent to me that my mom put my dad first, because, when we complained about dinner, she told us that she cooked for him, not us kids. They showed love and support for one another and that let me and my nine siblings know we were also loved. I always felt secure in knowing their relationship was strong.<br /><br />I asked my mom once for some marriage advice, and she said that her dad had always said to be united in all your decisions and your children will follow. Now in my marriage, I do just that - we discuss things together and then take care of the family together. <br />Thank you for all you do for married couples. It's always good to hear the same principles from other sources than just at our church! <br /><br />Risa<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-05-17T17:59:00Z
The Parenting Thing Isn't Easy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Parenting-Thing-Isnt-Easy/652348652827369221.html
2018-05-16T17:59:00Z
2018-05-16T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Fourteen years ago, as a newly married college student, I was preparing to enter the workforce to help at-risk children and youth. I came to realize through listening to your program that there was no role more important to a child than that of a mother. Instead of working with children in an institution, what if I could provide them with something far more lasting and nurturing in my home? So, right out of college, my husband and I bought our first home and opened it to foster children, with me in the role of stay-at-home foster mom. That was the beginning of the journey that led us to foster 70 children.<br /><br />Today I am the proud mama of six forever children - three adopted and three biological. They've never had a single day of daycare and have known the constant love and support of a stay-at-home mom and a hard-working gentle super-dad. And I've also remained my husband's girlfriend all these years! <br /><br />The parenting thing isn't easy, but I have always had your voice in my head, reminding me to have "<em>tickle fights</em>" instead of a perfect house, to take walks to the park instead of sitting on my computer, to play and laugh and soak up the special moments. Next month, my oldest adopted daughter will graduate from high school, and she'll be the first in her line to go to college. If I had sought fortune and career, she never would have joined our family. I believe that God used your heart and your wisdom to lead me to the abundant, beautiful life we're living. And multiple couples from our church followed our example and have become foster and adoptive families too. I'd love to give you a great big hug of gratitude. Keep your voice going in the world. Our children are the better for it.<br /><br />Much love,<br /><br />Lauren<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-05-16T17:59:00Z
What Would Dr. Laura Do?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Would-Dr.-Laura-Do/-317054440385755945.html
2018-05-15T17:59:00Z
2018-05-15T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />For the last few years, I have been a faithful listener and learned a lot from your wisdom. I chose wisely, and my wife and I treat each other very kindly. A while back, I found myself almost wishing I had a serious dilemma or major life problem so that I would have the excuse to call you and talk to you. Then I had one - a question regarding how to handle something with my mother.<br /><br />After playing the "<em>what would Dr. Laura do?</em>" game in my head, however, I realized that if I were to call you, all you would have had to tell me was "Just ask her." That's when it really hit me - the most valuable lesson you've taught me is the importance of communication. Most of the problems life throws at us can be handled by asking the right people the right question in the right way: respectfully, honestly, and with genuine concern for the answer.<br /><br />So, thank you for continuing to emphasize the importance of communication, not just with our spouses, but with everyone in our lives, as it helps stop problems before they start.<br /><br />David<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-05-15T17:59:00Z
Standing Up For Stay At Home Mommas
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Standing-Up-For-Stay-At-Home-Mommas/-35908616102641952.html
2018-05-14T17:59:00Z
2018-05-14T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />As a child, my mom frequently turned on your program in the car, which always led to wonderful thought-provoking discussions between us (especially when I was a teenager). I married a wonderful man and we have two children. My son complains when I turn on your program in the car, since he thinks it's "<em>boring</em>." The other day, I asked him "<em>Did you know that this wonderful woman, Dr. Laura, is the reason that I stay home with you and why you are home-schooled?</em>" His eyes bugged out, and he said "<em>Okay - now I LOVE her!</em>" The biggest smile crossed his face and he has stopped complaining! He even tells me that I should make sure to call you if I ever have any problems. <br /><br />When my husband and I first agreed that I should stay home to raise our children, it was a struggle. My husband picked up extra shifts to make ends meet, and we scrimped and saved. We made it work. I don't buy new clothes often and new toys are for birthdays and Christmas. None of these is as important as the look of appreciation and love on my son's face when he realized that I might not have been at home with him for all these years. Keep doing all the wonderful work that you do and thank you for standing up for all of us stay-at-home mommas! <br /><br />Meg<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-05-14T17:59:00Z
Play Time With Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Play-Time-With-Husband/278657794381034137.html
2018-05-11T17:59:00Z
2018-05-11T17:59:00Z
<br />My high school friend lives several states away. We are 67 years old. Her husband, 72, has Alzheimer's and a very aggressive type of Parkinson's disease. As we were talking one day, she told me she was feeling overwhelmed with her very demanding schedule, trying to take care of him, yet getting some time for herself. Even with some help from hospice, she was really stressed out, but I had an idea....<br /><br />I sent her the fishing village from Lego. She set it up on the dining room table, so she could leave it there and tend to it whenever time allowed. She was so excited, because it completely took her away from her worries, and yet she could be present for her husband's needs. Within two days, her husband was working with her on the village! I never saw THAT coming.<br /><br />She was enormously grateful, even though initially she thought I was crazy.<br /><br />I'm still smiling! <br /><br />Yours in Legos,<br /><br />Marcia<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-05-11T17:59:00Z
A Poem to My Wife and the Mother of Our Sons on Mother's Day
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Poem-to-My-Wife-and-the-Mother-of-Our-Sons-on-Mothers-Day/853877581649383346.html
2018-05-10T17:59:00Z
2018-05-10T17:59:00Z
<br />I wrote this for my wife of 34 years as a tribute to her being a stay at home mother to our sons, now ages 27 and 29. <br /><br /><em>A Poem to My Wife and the Mother of Our Sons on Mother's Day</em><br /><br /><em>From that first glorious moment you told me that we were </em>expectingThe<em> art of </em>motherhood<em> you've been perfecting</em>.<br />I<em> vividly remember back to that time and it seemed like an </em>eternity,<br />Before<em> our first son was finally born as a result of that maternity</em>.<br />Being<em> a first-time mom, I expected you to be nervous or at least a bit pensive</em>,<br />But<em> as soon as we came home with him you were anything but apprehensive</em>.<br />You<em> immediately began caring for him with such nurturing and </em>affection<br />I<em> knew that you and he would always share a special connection.</em><br /><br /><em>It was less than three years before God would bless us with a second son</em>.<br />I<em> remember wondering if you'd want to try for a daughter, and my relief when you said "No thank you. We're done."<br />As you did with our first, you showered our second son with the same loving and caring, even though it was the two of them and me that your time and affections you were now sharing</em>.<br />With<em> each phase of their </em>lives<em> I would marvel as I watched you adapt so you could help them grow</em>.<br />You<em> devoted yourself to them and they turned out great, proving the adage "you reap what you sow."<br />I remember at times they kept you so busy, the only time we had for each other had to be pre-arranged. Being as good a wife as you are a mother, somehow you never left me feeling short-changed. <br />I'm proud to say our little boys have grown and matured into two very fine men</em>.<br />I<em> see all the good inside them as a direct result of the time and nurturing you provided back then.</em><br /><br /><em>In both our sons' eyes, as well as my own, you have indeed been the perfect Mother</em>.If<em> anyone were to ever ask who could fill your role as well, we could not name another. Happy Mother's Day!<br /></em><br />James<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-05-10T17:59:00Z
Getting Through
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Getting-Through/-570088455998021788.html
2018-05-09T17:59:00Z
2018-05-09T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />One of the biggest things I learned in marriage is that you can't just quit when you feel you want to. If you chose wisely, troubles that come will eventually go. <br /><br />My husband and I will be married 45 years this summer. Most of the time has been great, but we've had ups and downs over the years. We have both known people who divorced and later REALLY regretted it. That has helped us stick together. <br /><br />Emotions an run very hot when you are hurting, but you need to stay the course and you will get through it. I love my sweetheart to pieces!<br /><br />Jennifer<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "letters" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-05-09T17:59:00Z
Communication Is Key
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Communication-Is-Key/522570955883732387.html
2018-05-08T17:59:00Z
2018-05-08T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Whenever my wife would come to me with a problem, whether it was a "<em>fix something around the house,</em>" or a personal issue, I went straight into "<em>fix it</em>" mode, because I'm a guy, and that's just what we do - we fix things!<br /><br />Unbeknownst to me, sometimes when she came to me with a problem, she didn't want me to fix anything - she just wanted me to listen. However, I couldn't tell the difference between when she wanted me to act or when she just wanted me to listen. So she suggested that I simply ask her. <br /><br />So now when she comes to me with a problem, the first thing I ask is "<em>is this a fix-it problem or a 'listen to' problem?</em>" And she tells me. I either help fix it or I give her my undivided attention and listen to her as long as she needs. <br /><br />It has helped a lot with these specific communications. We met when I was already 41 years old, and while old dogs can learn new tricks, sometimes all we need is simple instructions and a reminder!<br /><br />Curt<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "letters" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br />
Staff
2018-05-08T17:59:00Z
Breaking The Cycle
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Breaking-The-Cycle/849572816802986638.html
2018-05-07T17:59:00Z
2018-05-07T17:59:00Z
<br />I used to be a feminist. I met my husband at 16 and married at 18. I had a career and so did he. We spent little time together building our lives. Instead, we built a huge house and we were never home. He soon turned to drugs. I got pregnant at age 23, but I didn't want a kid at that time. So, at 6 weeks, I stuck him in daycare and went back to work. Then I turned to drugs in to keep up the pace of my life. By age 28, we were bankrupt. They took the house, the car, and our whole lives. We had nothing. But still, I continued to work, pop pills, and drop my kid off at a daycare that opened at 6 AM and didn't close until 6 PM. We thought moving would be a fresh start, but the cycle continued. I had one affair after another that my husband didn't even know about. My life was a mess, but I was the best employee you could ever hire at work! <br /><br />Then, one day my company closed its doors and I was unemployed. I spent that first day at home at age 32 wondering what to do. Then I turned on the radio and heard you for the first time. The next day, I called a treatment center and my husband and I got clean. My son never went back to daycare, and I never worked outside the home again. That was ten years ago. My whole life changed that day because of you. I'm now clean, a great girlfriend to my husband, and I don't just listen to you, but I practice what you preach. <br /><br />I know the first years of my son's life were awful with having a mom like me, but each day now I try to show him how to make good choices and why. I know why I made the choices I did - my family was divorced and very "<em>messed up,</em>" so I talk to my son about the impact that his life will have on his children, and how HIS choices will affect them just as the choices my parents made affected me. You truly changed our family's life and saved my son. We are now healthy, happy and back on our feet. We have never relapsed, and I've never had another affair. The environment that we've created in our home is the reason why.<br /><br />Arabella<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "letters" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br />
Staff
2018-05-07T17:59:00Z
The Day I Realized My Son Had Become A Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Day-I-Realized-My-Son-Had-Become-A-Man/822981895765635410.html
2018-05-04T17:59:00Z
2018-05-04T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My son is living in a different state for college but took a semester off to work full time. He called to tell me he was quitting the full-time job because he wasn't enjoying it and taking a part-time job instead. He'll be returning to school for the summer semester.<br /><br />I immediately went into "<em>mom</em>" mode, asking him how he would be able to pay his bills, and if he was sure he could get enough hours in the part-time job to cover his expenses. I told him that as long as he could take care of business, I thought it was fine to take the part-time job.<br /><br />He responded by saying "<em>Mom, I didn't call for permission. I just wanted to tell you because I was excited!</em>" My mom heart stopped, as he's always wanted my approval for big life decisions. A fleeting moment of hurt jolted me, until I realized that my son had become a MAN. At that point, my mom heart swelled with pride, knowing that it was okay for me to let go and trust what we, his parents, have taught him. I have no doubt that he will continue to excel because of the strong foundation we gave him.<br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, for the guidance and wisdom that you share every day, and for giving me the ability to take that moment, breathe, and smile knowing that he's going to be okay!<br /><br />Melissa<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "letters" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br />
Staff
2018-05-04T17:59:00Z
Mom Is ALWAYS Needed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mom-Is-ALWAYS-Needed/-984246525726819910.html
2018-05-03T17:59:00Z
2018-05-03T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I often hear people on your show say that they'll go to work when the kids are teenagers in high school because their kids won't need them around as much. I have a daughter who is a high school senior and last night was the first night I had total confirmation that she needs me now more than ever. <br /><br />The transition to college, including taking on new responsibilities, has been very hard for her. I'm a divorced mom (my husband was physically violent), and I'm glad I'm the one here with her right now to see what's going on, to talk to her about it, and to help her navigate through it and give her tools to help. This is one of the many reasons I can see how kids in their late teens get in trouble, going down the wrong path because the right path is scary. I have no concerns or fears that my daughter will not stay on the right path because she has good friends and usually makes great choices. But it is not a chance I would ever be willing to take. <br /><br />When you say to all of us "<em>When they are 18, up and out, THEN you can do more,</em>" you are so right. I haven't dated in almost 18 years, even though my daughter thinks I should. I gently remind her that she is my <em>daughter</em>, not my matchmaker! I haven't missed a moment, and we've created incredible memories together. She has a solid foundation to move on to the next phase of her life. So, MY advice from personal experience is to tell your listeners that they should continue to stay home, especially if they have teenagers in the house. They are needed just as much now as when the kids were little.<br /><br />Bailey<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "letters" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br />
Staff
2018-05-03T17:59:00Z
You Never Get Time Back
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Never-Get-Time-Back/-921303256133066886.html
2018-05-02T17:59:00Z
2018-05-02T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When my kids were small, I finally left my job and stayed home to raise them. I did get a part-time job when they were in school, and the hours allowed me to work only when they were there. I dropped them off every morning and picked them up after school. They didn't even know I worked!<br /><br />One day, I spoke to one of the moms after school. She was picking up her daughter to drive her to daycare for AFTER school care, so she could rush back to work. She asked me what I did, and I explained that I initially worked when my kids were little, but I left my job and stayed home with them now. Months later she approached me again to say "<em>thank you</em>." She switched her schedule down to part-time, and now she, too, had the gift of time with her daughter. I remember her being so happy and thrilled to not feel terrible guilt.<br /><br />Years later, I found out that her husband and daughter had been killed in a horrific car accident. She survived but eventually passed away from cancer. She told me that her choice to stay with her daughter was one she never regretted.<br /><br />Too many people believe they MUST work to make things financially manageable, which is entirely untrue. They've just bought into the false belief that they have to have big vacations, dinners out, and new cars. We had none of that. We diligently put aside those perks and raised our kids. You wouldn't know it by looking at us now though. We managed to build up from our humble beginnings to something we're quite proud of. And we marvel that we did this AND I stayed home to raise those kids! <br /><br />Patti <br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "letters" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br />
Staff
2018-05-02T17:59:00Z
The Grass Is Truly Not Always Greener
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Grass-Is-Truly-Not-Always-Greener/23536312777579596.html
2018-05-01T17:59:00Z
2018-05-01T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Several years ago, when my husband and I were almost empty-nesters, my 20-year-old daughter discovered her dad was having an affair, and she told me about it. I was not shocked. He had clearly been increasingly "<em>annoyed</em>," and I chalked it up to work stress, instead of simply asking him what the matter was. <br /><br />Here's what didn't make sense to me. We thought we were an amazing family. We had intact, supportive extended family. We were really good parents, and our children and home were happy. But that was all on the surface - underneath, we weren't really nurturing each other. And that ultimately took its toll on the marriage.<br /><br />We're now three years post-separation, and two years post-divorce. My oldest is living in another city, and my youngest is about to graduate from college. I am in our big house, all alone, getting my ducks in a row so I can live on my own salary when the alimony ends. That entails selling the family home and leaving the community where we raised our kids. After three years since the "<em>bomb</em>" dropped, my kids are still experiencing life-changing pain, only this time, it's because of what I need to do to make a life for myself. He caused pain, and now I'm causing pain, with not only the loss of their family but the loss of the home where they grew up. <br /><br />It doesn't matter what age the kids are when the walls come tumbling down. For the rest of our lives, we will not be the family we all loved and cherished. We just won't. Holidays, graduations, weddings, baptisms, grandchildren - everything will be different now. I've learned the hard way that if you've grown apart or are contemplating a "<em>break</em>," you should give it all you've got. The grass is truly not always greener. <br /><br />Tammy<br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "letters" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br />
Staff
2018-05-01T17:59:00Z
Finding My Strength
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finding-My-Strength/-645952132685933335.html
2018-04-30T17:59:00Z
2018-04-30T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I purchased one of your necklaces in your Valentine's Day Boutique. I wanted to share with you what that necklace means to me. <br /><br />I've been married for 48 years and have three grown children. A few years ago, one of our daughters stopped talking to us for five years. We have since reunited, but I am very aware of our differences and sometimes afraid to voice my opinion to any of my children in fear of this happening again. <br /><br />I want you to know what power that necklace gives me. When I wear it (and I wear it often), it gives me the strength to not be afraid to be who I am and what I believe. After listening to you for many years, I know that I need to stand up for what I believe in, but sometimes that is very hard. When I feel doubtful or scared, I hold the necklace and remember what your advice would be. It truly gives me strength. I plan on buying another one at your Mother's Day boutique, so I can have more than one necklace to wear! Thank you for all you do.<br /><br />Donna<br /><br />As you heard me mention before, the Mother's Day Boutique is open NOW to Dr. Laura Family members and will open to the public on Wednesday, May 2. You can get in early by signing up for the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - at dr laura dot com, and we'll send you the information to unlock the store today.<br /> <br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "letters" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br />
Staff
2018-04-30T17:59:00Z
Letting Them Make Their Own Choice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Letting-Them-Make-Their-Own-Choice/954429011659232188.html
2018-04-26T17:59:00Z
2018-04-26T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I need to get this off my chest for all the parents who think it is okay to put their kids in daycare. My wife has always been a stay-at-home mom, and we did what we had to to make that work. My children came home every day from school to a loving mom who made them snacks and did all the things a loving mother should.<br /><br />Imagine our distress when our three boys asked to go to after-school care because all their friends did, and they said it was fun! My wife was crushed, but I had a feeling it would backfire. We agreed to let them go and told them that this was their first step in making choices of their own. At dinner every night, we said we would want a full report of their activities in this "<em>after school 'dump your kid' place so you can be selfish and work instead of raising what you brought into this world</em>."<br /><br />After only one week, they begged us to let them stop going. It was not as much fun as their friends had told them. It was boring, and the snacks weren't as good as their mom's, and not one person at the place seemed to care whether they were there or not. What a great lesson learned! My boys are fathers themselves now and work very hard to make sure their children come home to a hug and a great snack.<br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, for driving this message home every day. Hopefully, this letter will make a difference in getting parents to "<em>do the right thing!</em>"<br /><br />William<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "letters" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br />
Staff
2018-04-26T17:59:00Z
Straight Talk Only
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Straight-Talk-Only/19500901198497025.html
2018-04-25T17:59:00Z
2018-04-25T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am a 60-year-old grandparent raising my ten-year-old grandson. I haven't heard many calls to you about this issue, so I want to offer some straight talk to anyone who takes this on. I would have liked to have known about this too.<br /><br />First, your life completely changes, and you actually mourn the loss of your freedom, your time, and perhaps your retirement plans. However, my husband's life has not changed, so he still gets to act as "<em>grandpa</em>." I encourage it and dislike it at the same time. <br /><br />You may have to deal with the parents of your grandchild. They probably hate each other, resent YOU, and have big problems themselves, which is why they don't have their child to begin with. Your marriage changes too, and it's more like when you first had your own kids. You must work through parenting differences again. It's easy to get more disconnected with your spouse, and if you don't recognize that and deal with it, your own marriage could break up. You resent the parents but can't express it because it just blows up in your face. Finally, you may feel powerless, frustrated, overwhelmed, exhausted, and hurt when what you're doing isn't appreciated. <br /><br />I love my grandson, and I realize that I'm acting as his mother now. He deserves this chance at a stable, secure, and loving home, and he is thriving. For that, I'm very thankful and he has been worth the sacrifice. I know that for sure. Even so, I think those who are in this situation should prepare themselves first for all the emotional changes and challenges to come.<br /><br />Jaclyn<br />
Staff
2018-04-25T17:59:00Z
Perception Is Everything
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Perception-Is-Everything/234666889403634199.html
2018-04-24T19:35:00Z
2018-04-24T19:35:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When my son was in the first grade, the school had him tested for learning disabilities. He was a late talker and was having problems learning to read and staying focused. The tester, an education specialist, wrote a report on my son in which she essentially said that he would be lucky to graduate high school. They wanted to give him drugs. I said I'd do that, but I never did. The odd thing is the school started sending home notes about how much better he was behaving! Perception was everything. We took him out of public school and put him in a small religious school.<br /><br />Fast forward 25 years. He not only graduated high school a year early, but he got his B.A. in three years. He has two Master's degrees - on in Early Childhood Education and one in Special Ed. He also speaks Spanish fluently and translates during conferences and meetings as he is the only adult in the school building who is bilingual. So much for those tests when he was in first grade!<br /><br />Please tell parents to relax. Your child might not go to Yale, but that doesn't mean he is not smart and completely capable of being respected and living a fulfilling, prosperous life in every way. <br /><br />Effie
Staff
2018-04-24T19:35:00Z
I Should Have Listened
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Should-Have-Listened/994427116821707164.html
2018-04-23T17:59:00Z
2018-04-23T17:59:00Z
<br /> Dr. Laura:<br /><br />After having my daughter, I gave up my teaching career for a year to stay home with her, but then I went back to work. My daughter was not in daycare, because she was loved all day by MY mom. It never felt right, but I didn't listen to my inner voice. I was there and devoted to her at 3PM, and I had all summer with her, but still it was not enough. That is a choice I deeply regret.<br /><br />I'm not even a feminist, but I fell for the line that women can have it all. They can't. There are only so many hours in a day and you cannot be good at everything. So, I chose to be a good mom. I resigned from my job and stayed home. My daughter starts school next year, and MY school asked me back on a part-time schedule, so I'll only work when she is in school. I'll be there in the morning to drop her off, and in the afternoon to pick her up from school. I'll have the same holidays off, and I'll be home all summer with her. My career can wait; my time with her cannot.<br /><br />All too often, I have seen broken kids in my high school classes, and I vow never to let my daughter be one of them. I have been on the front lines in the classroom, and the world needs more straight shooters like you to straighten us out! There ARE good teachers out there who are trying to do right by the kids in our classes. We just need some more Dr. Laura wisdom to fend off snowplow parents!<br /><br />Liza <br />
Staff
2018-04-23T17:59:00Z
Energized By Wonderful People
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Energized-By-Wonderful-People/13434966784118089.html
2018-04-20T17:59:00Z
2018-04-20T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am a 44-year-old mother of five children, ranging in age from 7 to 19. I've always<br />been home with them, and I have homeschooled them from the beginning. This hasn't been hard - it's been wonderful. <br /><br />I'm sick today, and my children tucked me into bed and took over the household beautifully since they've all been trained to prepare meals, wash dishes, keep rooms and bathrooms in order and still have time to do their schoolwork.<br /><br />Even though my oldest is mostly up and out, my four still at home are a gift. We do everything together - laughing, dancing, cooking, you name it. They also work hard on schoolwork. They are a joy to be with.<br /><br />My husband is an alpha male and the type you mention when you say children would rather throw themselves out a window than disappoint this type of dad. Your words rang in my head over the years when my oldest boys would misbehave. I'd want to "<em>rescue</em>" them from their loving father, but you were right - HE wanted to turn them into men! Thank goodness I listened.<br /><br />A home with multiple children need not be chaotic and difficult. And I'm not tired - I'm ENERGIZED by these wonderful people with whom I get to "<em>do life</em>." <br /><br />Alicia
Staff
2018-04-20T17:59:00Z
Daughter Of My Heart
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Daughter-Of-My-Heart/-696140431371295280.html
2018-04-19T17:59:00Z
2018-04-19T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My mother <em>knowingly</em> married a convicted child molester when I was twelve years old, and he abused me until I "<em>ran away</em>" from home at 21. To this day, my mother denies any knowledge of his actions, even though I had him sent to jail! Because I have you in my soul, Dr. Laura, from listening to you all my life, I knew I had to break ties with my bio-family. I had to mourn the loss of a mother who was still living, and I was her only child.<br /><br />However, as an adult, I have allowed myself to be loved by others and have opened myself enough to love others as well. I have women in my life who don't have daughters or who don't have daughters active in their lives with whom I've formed mother-daughter-like relationships. They love my children as their own grandchildren, and they treat me like a daughter, even down to calling me "<em>Dottie</em>" for "<em>Daughter of My Heart</em>." That enables me to have a healthy adult mother-child relationship before my own children. <br /><br />I've heard callers on your show in situations like mine. Just because we have to let go of a mother who didn't love us doesn't mean we have to face life without a mother figure. If we open our hearts and our eyes to those around us, we can fill a void in the life of one who is missing what we can give, and they can fill that empty spot in OUR world. It's hard to let go of toxic people because they are familiar, but making the change makes life so much better.<br /><br /><em>"Dottie"</em><br />
Staff
2018-04-19T17:59:00Z
The Value Of Working Hard
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Value-Of-Working-Hard/946626185751314192.html
2018-04-18T17:59:00Z
2018-04-18T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am a fifth-grade teacher, with 31 students in my class, ages 10-12. At least HALF of them whine and complain at the simplest of tasks. They act as if everything is too much work. They don't know how to solve simple problems like finding a lost pencil or getting paper to write on. Everything is boring to them. They put almost no effort into their learning. On top of that, they have zero manners. They blurt out, interrupt, and distract others on purpose. Usually, I expect this from a class coming back from summer break, but this is the first time in twelve years of teaching that I've seen this kind of behavior as late in the year as April.<br /> <br />Half of my class is failing, and of those failing, one hundred percent of them own video games, have nice shoes, cellphones, Facebook accounts, and gold chains around their necks. They stay up late and eat whatever junk they want any time of day. Their parents work, and they're in some kind of aftercare until 6PM, when they go home to exhausted parents <br /><br />I'm frustrated because I went to school to learn how to teach kids math, reading, science, social studies, art, music and physical education. It is the job of the parents to teach their kids at HOME about manners, and about working to "<em>earn</em>" privileges and nice things. Parents set their kids up for failure when they don't teach them this at home, and they make the job of being a teacher nearly impossible.<br /><br />Lazy, entitled and abandoned kids are ruining the educational experience for every child <br /><br />who is well-behaved and appreciates the feeling of earning, and for every teacher who has something wonderful to offer. I leave work frustrated at parents, annoyed with kids, and exhausted at having gotten through only three-quarters of my objectives for the day. Keep reminding parents that it is important to the universe that their kids know the value of hard work and earning. <br /><br />Karina
Staff
2018-04-18T17:59:00Z
The Importance Of Making Memories
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-Of-Making-Memories/-527549917220586985.html
2018-04-17T17:59:00Z
2018-04-17T17:59:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura:</p>
<br />I grew up in a loving home with a stay-at-home mom and a hard-working dad. Now, as an adult, I see how having a one-income household must have been a struggle for them. It meant a lot of budgeting and a lot of doing without things for themselves, but it was just something they did without even giving it a moment's thought, and without complaining.<br /><br />My parents always made sure my brothers and I had what we needed, and we never went without any essentials. We may not have been able to afford many far-away or expensive family vacations, but we often went on weekend camping trips as a family. We didn't always get the newest toys we wanted, but we had parents who would spend time doing crafts, science experiments, taking trips to the library and playing board games with us. <br /><br />Now, as a stay-at-home mom myself, there are things I would like to buy for my children or places I would like to take them that we cannot afford, but I look back at my childhood and realize that what's important is spending time with my kids learning, talking, playing, and creating wonderful memories together. I'm so thankful for a childhood that taught me that it's not about working more to provide more things for your children, but it's about being there with your children to be a part of how they learn and grow. I've never looked back and wished that we had more or that we had done more when I was a child, because I know the love and attention my parents provided was far more meaningful. It's amazing how a legacy like that lives on through generations in such a meaningful way.<br /><br />Kristen<br /><br />
<div><em>If you have a personal story that YOU want to share, you can send me an email by <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/contactus" target="_blank">clicking here</a>.</em></div>
Staff
2018-04-17T17:59:00Z
Making Time For What You WANT To Do
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Time-For-What-You-WANT-To-Do/-394080566355577794.html
2018-04-16T17:59:00Z
2018-04-16T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am a stay-at-home, homeschool mom to three. When I first began staying home, we had to make sacrifices, and money was tight. I had to get creative, so I shopped second hand for clothes, clipped coupons for groceries, and borrowed a relative's camera to take pictures of my kid, because I couldn't afford a fancy photographer. As it turned out, I had a knack for the photography thing, word got around, and I was able to snap pictures for other people for a couple of hours on weekends, while Daddy took the kids to the movies or biking. I saved for my own camera, and now, 8 years later, money isn't quite as tight as it was then. Through the years, this little venture has afforded us the opportunity to take our kids on fun little trips, buy ice cream after dinner or pay for swim team. I edit the pictures when the kids are in bed!<br /><br /> Recently, I had a photography session with a newborn in my home, and as I was chatting with the mom, she told me her husband worked at the local grocery store as a clerk, and I realized this session must have been something she scrimped and saved for, as they were likely making major sacrifices so she could stay home. I heavily discounted the cost, because I know what that's like. I never knew I had this talent until I was pushed to make the necessary sacrifices to do the right thing. Thank you, Dr. Laura for your praise of stay-at-home moms. I always tell people that if my parents could raise eight kids on my dad's modest income, then so can I, and so can the grocery clerk, and so can you. People do and make time for what they WANT to do. Maybe it's through tutoring during nap time, walking the neighbors' dogs with your kids, or even through the lens of a camera. Thank you for loving kids and being a champion for us mommas and the daddies who are man enough to step up and help make this priority a reality.<br /><br />Ashley
<p><br /><br />If you have a personal story that YOU want to share, you can send me an email by <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/contactus" target="_blank">clicking here</a>.</p>
Staff
2018-04-16T17:59:00Z
Standing Up For Those In Need
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Standing-Up-For-Those-In-Need/179386034825919322.html
2018-04-13T17:59:00Z
2018-04-13T17:59:00Z
Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Several weeks ago, my daughter-in-law was called into the local elementary school's principal's office, because my grandson was in a fight on the school bus. The principal explained to her that my grandson was defending a smaller kid against a well-known bully.<br /><br /> According to the bus cameras, my grandson asked the bully a few times to leave the other kid alone, and the bully continued tormenting the smaller child. My grandson (who is 10 years old) finally had enough and punched the bully hard enough that the bus driver had to "<em>wake him up</em>." <br /><br />The principal gave my grandson one day of school suspension due to the "<em>no tolerance</em>" rule for fighting, but she also told him that she was very proud of him for standing up to the bully and wished that more kids would do it. Her last bit of advice was "<em>next time you feel the need to punch a bully, make sure the bully throws the first punch</em>."<br /><br /> My son and daughter-in-law have done an amazing job teaching both of their children to stand up for themselves and others. Their kids have huge hearts and more than once have reached out to become friends with kids that don't "<em>fit in</em>." I'm also very impressed with the principal for acknowledging that the punch was to protect another child and telling my grandson that she was proud of him. By the way, the bully got in trouble as well.<br /><br />Tracey<em><br /></em>
<p> </p>
<em><br /><br />If you have a personal story that YOU want to share, you can send me an email by <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/contactus" target="_blank">clicking here</a>.</em>
Staff
2018-04-13T17:59:00Z
What Would Dr. Laura Tell Us To Do?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Would-Dr.-Laura-Tell-Us-To-Do/638794890876007258.html
2018-04-12T17:59:00Z
2018-04-12T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband and I are foster parents to a wonderful, bright 10-year-old girl. When she studies, she gets 100% on her spelling tests. Recently, she has been pushing back on studying and her grade has slipped. In the past, my husband and I would have fought with our children and forced them to study. Now we think "<em>what would Dr. Laura tell us to do?<br /><br />I'm happy to say we followed your basic advice, and let our girl fail a little, then asked her how she felt about her grades. We didn't make a big deal out of it, but instead, told her that when she was ready to study more, we would support her and quiz her if she wanted. Today, she asked us to quiz her! It was no big deal. We didn't go crazy jumping up and down, but we said we were proud of her decision to better herself and her grades. <br /><br />It was hard to watch her fail without feeling like we were not doing enough to encourage her, but it was the right thing to do, and I will NEVER forget the lesson we learned from the parenting tips you give on your program. Thanks.<br /><br />Raynelle <em><br /><br /><br />If you have a personal story that YOU want to share, you can send me an email by <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/contactus" target="_blank">clicking here</a>.</em> </em>
Staff
2018-04-12T17:59:00Z
The Lady On The Radio
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Lady-On-The-Radio/-862410304351338487.html
2018-04-11T17:59:00Z
2018-04-11T17:59:00Z
<br />My daughter, who is six years old, has had to listen to you her entire life (mostly when she's been in the car and I've had you tuned in while I'm driving). She has referred to you as "<em>Dr. Laura, the lady on the radio who yells at people!</em>"<br /><br /> While my daughter and I were sitting together before bed, I was looking through Instagram. She looked over and asked me who the lady was who was doing "<em>that workout.</em>" I told her it was you. "<em>You mean, Dr Laura from the radio?</em>" she said excitedly, and we went through your pictures, while I explained to her that you work out, you make jewelry, you play tennis and pool, you hike, build Legos, and even drive a sailboat in the ocean. She was totally amazed. She especially loved your LEGO Disney castle. <br /><br />Posting glimpses of your life and hobbies online humanizes you, and rather than just being "<em>the lady on the radio</em>," you show that you're a real person. To my daughter, you are no longer that lady who yells on the radio. You're now the "<em>kick butt lady on the radio!</em>" Thanks for giving us a peek into your life when you're off the air.<br /><br />Karly
<p> </p>
<div><em>If you have a personal story that YOU want to share, you can send me an email by <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/contactus" target="_blank">clicking here</a>.<br /></em>
<p> </p>
</div>
Staff
2018-04-11T17:59:00Z
Do Your Homework!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Do-Your-Homework!/959722040588390116.html
2018-04-10T17:59:00Z
2018-04-10T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:</p>
I have tried to teach my two boys the importance of "<em>considering the source</em>" when someone says things that hurt their feelings. I've told them that if someone says something unkind and that person isn't one whose opinion they value, then they should "<em>consider the source</em>" and move on. Most real friends wouldn't be mean when offering advice. <br /><br />I wish some adults would "<em>consider the source</em>" before they get so bent out of shape about comments from people they would never consider important in their lives. These days, we seem to be taking everything so personally, and we don't realize whose opinion really matters! <br /><br />
<div>I attribute my thought process on this to your words of wisdom, Dr. Laura. Thank you so much for all the guidance you're not even aware you've given! You have definitely made my marriage stronger and made me realize how important I am to my boys even now that they are young adults.<br /><br />Jackie<br /><br /><br /><br /><em>If you have a personal story that YOU want to share, you can send me an email by <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/contactus" target="_blank">clicking here</a>.<br /></em>
<p> </p>
</div>
Staff
2018-04-10T17:59:00Z
Little Darlings
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Little-Darlings/910672804203632246.html
2018-04-09T17:59:00Z
2018-04-09T17:59:00Z
Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've heard many callers talk to you about defiant teenage behavior. I raised three kids (now all adults) who did NOT act out at all as teens. I am sure one of the reasons for this is that, when they were in grade school and high school, neither my husband nor I went to the school to complain about an assignment or an exam being unfair.<br /><br /> If one of my kids thought an assignment was unfair or too difficult, we encouraged him or her to rise to the challenge, and we offered some ideas on how to tackle it. Parents who rush in to save their "<em>little darlings</em>" often help create helpless, dominated and weak kids, in my opinion. Those kids end up defiant to assert power over their parents. <br /><br />Unless a teacher or principal is doing something illegal or that constitutes outright abuse, parents should let the kids adapt, cope, and learn to deal with the challenge. Mommy isn't going to be in medical school arguing with professors. That's how one of my kids ended up a Harvard Medical School graduate! <br /><br />
<div>Madeleine
<p> </p>
<em>If you have a personal story that YOU want to share, you can send me an email by <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/contactus" target="_blank">clicking here</a>.<br /></em></div>
Staff
2018-04-09T17:59:00Z
Making My Day
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-My-Day/-169903160587276170.html
2018-04-06T17:59:00Z
2018-04-06T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura:</p>
I'm a high school science teacher, and I teach ninth and tenth graders. Most days, I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle, what with all the distractions teenagers have today. Trying to get them to listen and do their homework is quite challenging. While I can't teach them morals and values, I do set an example for them in all that I do.<br /><br />My favorite quote from you is "<em>Choose wisely; treat kindly</em>," and I have used it with my students on different occasions. The other day, one of my ninth graders came up after class and said, "<em>Mrs. S, a long time ago you used this cool quote in class and I love it. It's my favorite!</em>" Then she proceeded to show me her sketch book where she had written in CALLIGRAPHY your phrase "<em>Choose wisely; treat kindly</em>." She asked where I got the quote, and I told her. She said she's going to make a poster of the quote for me, so I can hang it in my classroom!<br /><br /> I feel like I'm never getting through to these kids and then something like this happens to make my entire day. Thank you for the quote and for making my day and the day of that 14-year-old girl. <br /><br />Lisa
<p> </p>
<em>If you have a personal story that YOU want to share, you can send me an email by <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/contactus" target="_blank">clicking here</a>.<br /></em>
Staff
2018-04-06T17:59:00Z
He Took The Lead
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Took-The-Lead/-30135221696027847.html
2018-04-05T17:59:00Z
2018-04-05T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My wonderful husband is the reason I want MORE children, and months ago, this was NOT an option. Prior to our son's arrival, I had plans, schedules, and everything organized. I learned very quickly that babies laugh at that planning! I wanted to breastfeed. It didn't work out. I wanted to sleep. THAT was worth a giggle. I wanted our son to sleep. He fought it. These things I "<em>wanted</em>" triggered a post-partum anxiety that led to no emotional connection to our son, no appetite to assist with milk production, and lack of interest in daily activities. After three straight days of crying, my husband pulled out our book from the many preparation classes we had taken and pointed to each and every sign of post-partum anxiety and depression.<br /><br />HE called our obstetrician, got me an appointment, and scheduled a pedicure/massage for me afterward. After working all day, he eagerly grabbed our son so I could run an errand, take a walk, or simply sit on our porch. The first few months of our son's life, I learned a lot about myself, but I mostly learned that I had chosen wisely. I chose a husband who picked me up at my rock bottom and encouraged me to be the Mom he knew I could be. He put his sleep deprivation aside to take the night shift once a week as my obstetrician suggested. <br /><br />We will be celebrating our son's first birthday soon, and we are considering HIS first birthday OUR celebration for making it through those "<em>survival mode</em>" months. We will also be trying for baby #2 this summer. Thank you for all your advice! <br /><br />Carol <br /><br /> <br /> If you have a personal story that YOU want to share, you can send me an email by <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/contactus" target="_blank">clicking here</a>.<br />
Staff
2018-04-05T17:59:00Z
You Can't Fix Everything
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Cant-Fix-Everything/-934071161172748260.html
2018-04-04T17:59:00Z
2018-04-04T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I spent my entire life taking care of my mother's emotional problems. I am the youngest of four girls, and my oldest sister is 11 years older than me. I have carried the burden of my mother's unhappiness and worked to make her happy and take care of her problems. She manipulated me into turning on my alcoholic father and making me feel sorry for her, but as I've gotten older, I realized that she was actually the problem at the core of our family. I'm crying as I'm writing this, because she passed away in November, and I now see very clearly how much of my life I spent being abused by her.<br /><br />I heard a caller with a similar situation, and you told her that it was not her responsibility to make her mother happy, and that it was abusive for her mother to make her feel guilty about it. That was the moment I realized it was okay for me to not like what my mother was doing. I suppose I should have had an "<em>aha</em>" moment when I saw that no one else in the family would have anything to do with her, but I'm a problem solver and I like to think I can fix everything. <br /><br />Thank you for allowing me to have the feelings I now have toward my mother, and for concluding that I should not feel guilty about them. I am starting a new life now, and I'm NOT going to be fixing everyone! <br /><br />Jo Ann<em><br /><br /><br />If you have a personal story that YOU want to share, you can send me an email by <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/contactus" target="_blank">clicking here</a>.<br /></em>
Staff
2018-04-04T17:59:00Z
Think Twice Before Wrecking Your Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Think-Twice-Before-Wrecking-Your-Family/24819724518475204.html
2018-04-03T17:59:00Z
2018-04-03T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:</p>
<div>I have a message for all married people considering divorce who have children at home. Parents who think their kids are resilient and that they will be just fine are wrong. They will NOT be "<em>just fine.</em>" Whether they're toddlers or teenagers, you will destroy their world as they know it. I speak from experience. My childhood was idyllic. Both sides of our family lived in the same town, got along well, and spent every holiday together. My parents seemed happy and were very involved with all my activities. My mom had close friends, however, who were separated and/or divorced, and my dad was dismayed when she started hanging out with them. <br /><br /></div>
<div>One day after school, my mom informed me that she and my dad were divorcing. My fourteen-year-old brain couldn't comprehend the seriousness of this. I remember nodding my head, but that's because I didn't know what to say. She moved out in a few days, and my dad remained in our home. It was half empty, because mom took most of the furniture. My dad bought us TV trays, because the dining room table went with mom. Our home was now full of empty rooms and shelves, and I had a shell of my previous life. Our families took sides, and they no longer speak to each other. For the first time in my life, I saw my father cry. He was devastated and confused. <br /><br /></div>
<div>Eventually, he sold our home and moved into another house, and I no longer felt I had a home - it was just Dad's house or Mom's house. I never felt that either house was MY home. It was their home. I was merely a visitor, following a court-appointed schedule. My father dated, but these women didn't want me around. Mom continued going out, leaving me a frozen dinner to make for myself when I was there. My dad later died, and mom remarried but divorced after nine months of verbal and emotional abuse that I had to take right along with her. She has turned into a bitter woman. So please, ladies and gentlemen, think twice before you wreak havoc on yours and your kids' lives.<br /><br /></div>
<div>Lisa</div>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<em>If you have a personal story that YOU want to share, you can send me an email by <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/contactus" target="_blank">clicking here</a>.<br /></em>
Staff
2018-04-03T17:59:00Z
Daycare Dangers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Daycare-Dangers/572709742871384255.html
2018-04-02T17:59:00Z
2018-04-02T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura: <br /><br />In a conversation with some moms from school about cleaning up kids' messes, I told them that due to a prior "<em>Sharpie transgression</em>," the permanent marking version of that product is outlawed in our house and being caught with one is a serious offense. Another mother told how her three-year-old came home from day care one day with marker scribble all over her clothing and expensive boots. She was outraged that her daughter had gotten hold of such a marker and ruined her new clothes and boots. <br /><br />I, too, was enraged, but not for the same reason she was. I said to her that the issue wasn't so much that her daughter had managed to get the marker; the issue was that the level of destruction she described had to take at least four to six minutes to inflict. How was her daughter so unsupervised for that amount of time? What if her tool of destruction had been a knife or similar sharp object? Left unattended for what seemed a small amount of time could have resulted in a tragic situation much worse than a few pieces of ruined clothing.<br /><br />
<div>I politely asserted that had it been MY child, that would have been her last day at that daycare, but then added that my heart would never allow me to put my kid in daycare in the first place - an institution where children clearly go long periods of time without adult attention or LOVE. Thank you, Dr. Laura, for helping me form a world view that saw this story for what it was - just one more real-world example of the danger that can occur if you put your child in a place where they go unloved, instead of at home and near your loving arms. <br /><br />Wendy</div>
<p> </p>
<em>If you have a personal story that YOU want to share, you can send me an email by <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/contactus" target="_blank">clicking here</a>.<br /><br /></em>
Staff
2018-04-02T17:59:00Z
The Power Of Positivity
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Power-Of-Positivity/-254187444550184827.html
2018-03-30T17:59:00Z
2018-03-30T17:59:00Z
Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm writing to thank you. I've been married to a wonderful man for almost 22 years, and we have two children. We are kind to each other, laugh through good and bad, and are each other's best friends. <br /><br />Any time I feel cranky or overwhelmed with my job as a mom (a job I feel lucky to be able to do), I think of you. Instead of complaining to my husband, I can mentally turn it around and be thankful. In being thankful, I'm able to give even MORE to him. It may sound crazy to some of your listeners, but it's true. I think about how hard he works, how kind he is, and how good I have it. That makes me want to do even more for him.<br /><br />There are nights when I'll say to him, "<em>You should thank Dr. Laura!</em>" So, thank you for being that little voice in my head when I need it, or when mine is too loud. The saying shouldn't be "<em>happy wife, happy life.</em>" Instead, it should be "<em>Happy husband, happy wife, happy life.</em>"<br /><br />
<div>Sincerely,</div>
<div><br />Maureen</div>
<p> </p>
<blockquote>
<p> </p>
</blockquote>
<em>If you have a personal story that YOU want to share, you can send me an email by <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/contactus" target="_blank">clicking here</a>.<br /><br /></em>
Staff
2018-03-30T17:59:00Z
No Snowflakes Here
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-Snowflakes-Here/189720435353891418.html
2018-03-29T17:59:00Z
2018-03-29T17:59:00Z
I've been listening to you for four months. I'm a high school English teacher in a rural public high school. I agree that public education is not the best - it's flawed, and yes, riddled with lazy teachers, and overpaid, feckless administrators, plus a watered-down curriculum. But I'm hoping to change things, at least in my own classroom.<br /><br /> Since listening to you, I've changed the way I talk to my students. I'm kinder. I ask more questions and talk less. I also give tidbits of your wisdom to them, subtly weaving them into a lesson here and there. Rebelliously, I find articles that cover the required state standards, but break from the rigid, old curriculum. My students debate topics and arrive at their own conclusions, having thought for themselves and provided proof of how they came to their conclusions. <br /><br /> I wanted you to know that I'm doing my best to create an atmosphere of learning that is not wasted on our kids. I teach them to work, think and stand up for themselves. I teach them to not just have the principles, but to stand up for them. I teach them to speak up, listen up, chin up, lift up and buck up. No snowflakes here. I see the effects of poor parenting, or worse: coddling. It's not hopeless to fight against so much, because I realize that ALL influences matter. Thanks to you, I know I am doing my best to give them tools they need to go be good people in the world who will do the right thing. <br /><br /><br />If you have a personal story that YOU want to share, you can send me an email by <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/contactus" target="_blank">clicking here</a>.<br /><br />
Staff
2018-03-29T17:59:00Z
Doing The Right Thing... EVERY Day
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Doing-The-Right-Thing...-EVERY-Day/804831831065084179.html
2018-03-28T17:59:00Z
2018-03-28T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am 65 years old and retired. I married at 29, chose wisely, and have had a happy 35-year marriage. I was always a Dad first. My kids are now grown and are successfully finding their own way in life. I was financially successful and was able to retire at age 62. One of the reasons I was successful was because I always came home to a loving, supportive wife. She was the mother of our kids and my girlfriend, and she still is my girlfriend.<br /><br />Young men underestimate how important a loving wife is to their lives and careers. I now coach high school sports without needing any compensation. The players I coach seem to think I "<em>have it all</em>" at this point in my life. I try to teach all of my players that the choices they make now will affect the rest of their lives. Life is about the choices you make, and just because your parents might have made mistakes, it doesn't mean you need to repeat them. Even when they're going to the school prom, I talk about always being respectful, total gentlemen. They should always carry themselves with class and dignity. Work hard. Do the right thing...EVERY day. <br /><br />I listen to you every day, and you have guided me and my teaching and coaching in more ways than you know. Keep up the great work. Protect the kids. I'm trying to fight the battle with you!<br /><br />My very best, and with great admiration for you,<br /><br />Bob</p>
<blockquote>
<p> </p>
</blockquote>
<em>If you have a personal story that YOU want to share, you can send me an email by <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/contactus" target="_blank">clicking here</a>.<br /><br /></em>
Staff
2018-03-28T17:59:00Z
'My Hero'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Hero/-847508785341051826.html
2018-03-27T17:59:00Z
2018-03-27T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Two weeks ago, I got an email from April, who told me her daughter had chosen to write about me for a school essay entitled "<em>My Hero</em>." Of course, I asked April to send a copy of it, and she did. Here is 11-year-old Savannah's essay:<br /><em> </em></p>
<blockquote><em>What is a hero? Is it someone who can shoot lasers out of his eyes? It could be, but MY hero is a 71-year-old woman, and you have to love her taste in music! Dr. Laura has taken many phone calls throughout her career. She picks up that phone and honesty </em>flows<em> out in words that help millions of people across America.</em><br /><br /><em>In addition to being quick with her answers, she always says to put children's lives before your own desires. Dr. Laura is a firm believer in making your child's life better than your own. When a caller wants to do something that affects her child's life, she won't hear anything they have to say. She will tell them not to involve their children in their own drama.</em><br /><br /><em>Her consistency is equally as important as her care. Dr. Laura will ask you </em>questions that<em> don't even seem to relate to YOUR question. While asking these, she will make all of the parts of your problem shortened down, so you can deal with your situation in a simple fashion. This tactic helps the listeners be in full control of their situations.</em><br /><br /><em>What I love most about Dr. Laura is her ability no to "sugar-coat" things. Our generation has the tendency to say "but" or "I wasn't..." and she will say "ma'am" or "sir" over and over again until they stop rambling about how "innocent" they are!</em><br /><br /><em>In conclusion, Dr. Laura is my hero, because she has dedicated her life to others. Her wisdom has helped me and many others be the best persons we can be. I am still learning, but her advice is clear and helps Americans find success. </em>
<p> </p>
</blockquote>
<em>If you have a personal story that YOU want to share, you can send me an email by <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/contactus" target="_blank">clicking here</a>.<br /><br /></em>
Staff
2018-03-27T17:59:00Z
I Was Doing It Wrong!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Was-Doing-It-Wrong!/481111993089097927.html
2018-03-26T17:59:00Z
2018-03-26T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I called you five years ago, when my boss had excluded me from a golf event. At the time, you told me that guys just wanted to do things with guys and it didn't mean anything. I was appalled and vowed never to listen to you again. I was angry that another female hadn't taken my side. <br /><br />Well, I broke my vow eventually and I started listening to you again. And I listened, and I listened and I listened. I was doing everything wrong! At 58 years old, I was "<em>shacking up</em>" with a man who wasn't exactly in a hurry to put a ring on my finger. When I asked him one day if he wanted to marry me, his response was "<em>not today</em>," and it turned out that it was not ANY day in the four years we were together. I finally got smart and left. I was scared. I moved 1,500 miles away and started over. I knew from listening to you that, statistically, I was not likely to find another partner, and I was probably going to be alone, but I found the courage to do it anyway.<br /><br />I'm happy now, living three miles from my daughter, her wonderful husband and my two grandchildren. I own my own home and am saving plenty of money for a secure retirement, although I expect I'll just find another passion that doesn't require the "<em>corporate grind</em>" I'm in now. I feel more self-respect, and I have friends and family to fill the voids in my life. I am content! I've finally figured out what I want "<em>between now and dead</em>." And I am a loyal listener. Keep reforming us feminists, as we need a voice of reason to undo the damage of the nineteen seventies.<br /><br />Karen</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<br /><em>If you have a personal story that YOU want to share, you can send me an email by <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/contactus" target="_blank">clicking here</a>.<br /><br /></em>
Staff
2018-03-26T17:59:00Z
Our Nighttime Ritual
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-Nighttime-Ritual/-881975590129342617.html
2018-03-23T17:59:00Z
2018-03-23T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />The most sacred part of my day comes right before I sleep, when I slip into my daughter's room, crouch next to her bed and press my lips against her forehead and place my cheek on top of hers. Her breathing slows and deepens. She's now a teen, yet the scent of my only child, the same one I've inhaled since the day she loudly and painfully entered this world, lingers. She never wakes up, though she might sigh and turn toward me, even reaching out and letting me embrace her. Please, I pray in the dark, keep her, love her, show her, know her.<br /><br />My daughter challenges me during her waking hours, as any respectable 13-year-old would. She routinely puts chores last and Pinterest first, balks at walking the dog she begged for, and wears the same pair of leggings four times rather than throwing them in the washer. <br /><br />Nonetheless, she is mine. She is stamped by my husband's and my words, molded by our actions, and judges or loves according to what she's observed. When I fear I've failed her or not modeled enough grace, generosity and faith, I am comforted by our nighttime ritual, when her lungs slowly fill with the scent of her mother, and mine fill with hers.<br /><br />Andee</p>
<br /><br /><em>If you have a personal story that YOU want to share, you can send me an email by <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/contactus" target="_blank">clicking here</a>.<br /><br /></em>
Staff
2018-03-23T17:59:00Z
The Best Decision For Your Child
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Best-Decision-For-Your-Child/505878756193819142.html
2018-03-22T17:59:00Z
2018-03-22T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband has been a long-time listener of your show, and I am a new listener. What you say about family and motherhood makes so much sense, I couldn't HELP but listen! <br /><br />We are expecting our first child in the summer, and after talking about it, we've made the decision that I will stay home with the baby. I am so excited! <br /><br />I have a very good job and career, but family is so much more important. We consolidated our financial payments to make this work economically for us, and I'm thrilled to be able to stay home with our little one when she arrives.<br /><br />Thank you for being an integral part of our decision making and helping us prove that this is still an option for a modern-day family. Since I was a little girl, I've always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, yet today's social climate makes me feel like that's not an achievable goal anymore. Thank you for letting us know we CAN accomplish it, and that our little ones will be better for it. You are such an inspirational woman. <br /><br />Melanie</p>
<br /><br /><em>If you have a personal story that YOU want to share, you can send me an email by <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/contactus" target="_blank">clicking here</a>.<br /><br /></em>
Staff
2018-03-22T17:59:00Z
The Greatest Gift A Man Can Give
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Greatest-Gift-A-Man-Can-Give/-310000440808570240.html
2018-03-21T17:59:00Z
2018-03-21T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />At the age of 60, after being divorced for 8 years, I met a man who "<em>checked all the boxes</em>." He was loving, honest, financially secure, and we enjoyed common interests. From the first date he told me that he would never marry again because of the divorce devastation HE experienced. We never moved in together either, because he felt it would not send the right message to my grandchildren. He was the best man I've ever known.<br /><br />During the last year, he fell ill with heart failure. It seemed unbelievable to me that a man who went to the gym every day and had the stamina of five oxen could decline so quickly. When he went into home hospice, I took care of him. Just before he was no longer able to communicate, he took my hand and said "<em>Janey, what are you still doing here sitting by the bed of a dying man? You need to run away very fast before you have to witness the worst part of life.</em>" I told him I was there because he had given me one of the greatest gifts I had ever received: his love, and that I wasn't going anywhere. He then said that his timing was a joke, and he should have asked this question a long time ago, but would I marry him? Of course, I said yes, but unfortunately, we ran out of time, and he died a few days later.<br /><br />For the next few weeks, the only way I could fall asleep at night was to divert my mind and listen to your shows. Every night, I heard unhappy women complaining about their husbands. I wanted to tell them that the powerful feeling of sweet love given and received is remembered long after the bitterness of regret. Don't throw away a perfectly good man, as they cannot be replaced.<br /><br />It's a year later. I listen to you and realize I had the best and I am better equipped to recognize it should it ever cross my path again. Thank you for the difference you have made in my life and thank you for changing the world every day with the truth.<br /><br />Janey </p>
<br /><br /><em>If you have a personal story that YOU want to share, you can send me an email by <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/contactus" target="_blank">clicking here</a>.<br /><br /></em>
Staff
2018-03-21T17:59:00Z
Taking Ownership Of Your Decisions And Actions
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-Ownership-Of-Your-Decisions-And-Actions/-794947121848123190.html
2018-03-20T17:59:00Z
2018-03-20T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I often hear women call you to complain about their husbands, and I love it when you ask a very straightforward question: "<em>So you dated for how long, saw these tendencies, and still decided to marry him and make babies with him?</em>" <br /><br />In a society where we women are empowered to "<em>take back our rights!</em>" I notice that we also don't want to have ownership of our "<em>wrongs.</em>" We want the control without the responsibility (I think that's a quote from you). <br /><br />Thank you for reminding millennial wives and mothers like me to focus on the choices we have made (good or bad) and own them. If we chose wisely, the "<em>treat kindly</em>" would be natural. So, ladies, stop complaining and start taking responsibility for yourselves!<br /><br />Taylor</p>
<br /><br /><br /><em>If you have a personal story that YOU want to share, you can send me an email by <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/contactus" target="_blank">clicking here</a>.</em>
<p> </p>
Staff
2018-03-20T17:59:00Z
Being The Example For My Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-The-Example-For-My-Kids/-98665881371441169.html
2018-03-19T17:59:00Z
2018-03-19T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My parents met when they were teenagers. They married and had four children, all of whom are married and have children of their own. My parents have ten grandchildren and I've never seen them as happy as they were when they became grandparents. <br /><br />My mom has been diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's four years ago, at the age of 63. Two years ago, she developed Parkinson's disease, and my dad has been her sole caregiver for the last four years. She is declining rapidly and cannot speak or walk without assistance. She has no idea who we are. My dad gets her showered and dressed, fed, takes her on walks, to doctor's appointments and gives her all the medications she is supposed to take. He has refused outside help, because, as he says, our mother is "<em>his bride</em>," and his job is to take care of her. <br /><br />My parents gave my siblings and me a realistic and needed example of how marriage should work - not perfect, but always as a team. Their love for each other was obvious, and I had a great example of how men should treat women by watching my dad hold open doors for Mom. He was always saying how beautiful she was too.<br /><br />I married a man quite like my dad, and I couldn't have chosen a better husband and father for our kids. Our children watch how Daddy treats Mommy, and how Mommy treats Daddy, so they'll grow up understanding what love is all about. <br /><br />I hated listening to you when I was growing up, and my kids don't like listening now, so I know I'm doing things the right way! Thank you for making me realize how lucky I am to have been born into such a great family.<br /><br /><br />Catherine<br /><br /><br /><br /><em>If you have a personal story that YOU want to share, you can send me an email by <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/contactus" target="_blank">clicking here</a>.</em></p>
Staff
2018-03-19T17:59:00Z
Stop Complaining, Start Taking Responsibility
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stop-Complaining,-Start-Taking-Responsibility/-83090873749350220.html
2018-03-16T17:59:00Z
2018-03-16T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I often hear women call you to complain about their husbands, and I love it when you ask a very straightforward question: '<em>So you dated for how long, saw these tendencies, and still decided to marry him and make babies with him?'</em> <br /><br />In a society where we women are empowered to '<em>take back our rights</em>!,' I notice that we also don't want to have ownership of our '<em>wrongs</em>.' We want the control without the responsibility (I think that's a quote from you). <br /><br />Thank you for reminding millennial wives and mothers like me to focus on the choices we have made (good or bad) and own them. If we chose wisely, the '<em>treat kindly'</em> would be natural. So, ladies, stop complaining and start taking responsibility for yourselves!<br /><br />Taylor <br /><br /><br /><br />Have YOU ever been empowered to take back the control in your life? You can tell me (and the rest of my audience) about it by signing into (or signing up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - at dr laura dot com, and sending me an email.<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2018-03-16T17:59:00Z
Keeping Up With The Jonese
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-Up-With-The-Jonese/-781739437076796733.html
2018-03-15T17:59:00Z
2018-03-15T17:59:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm a stay-at-home mama of three boys. We recently filed our taxes and after we left the accountant's office, my husband said, "<em>I don't know how we fed five people and managed to save a little money.</em>" He makes around fifty thousand dollars a year.<br /><br />I reminded him of a conversation we had many years ago when I was going stir crazy at home and wanted to get a job. He told me that I already had a job, and it was the most important job in the world. "<em>Take care of our babies, and save us as much money as you can,</em>" is what he said to me. So that's what we do! We live in a modest, yet loving home. The bills are always paid, and there's always a home-cooked meal on the table. I'm a heck of a bargain and coupon shopper, and I stick to a budget. I can feed all of us for around $500 per month, and there are usually friends of our sons here for dinner several nights a week. My husband also works at a job where he's home for a few hours after the kids leave for school, so we get a lot of alone time together. He's up for dinner and helps with homework before he leaves for work each evening.<br /><br />When I hear mothers calling your show and whining about not wanting to quit work because they want to keep up with the Joneses, I groan. We don't care about "<em>the Joneses</em>" around here. My kids have many classmates who are latchkey kids, and my kids say it must be sad to come home to an empty house. Our life isn't perfect, and we're not Ward and June Cleaver, but we make it work. MY advice to all those working moms out there? FIND A WAY! It CAN be done!<br />Big love and hugs,<br /><br />Susie<br /><br /><br />Have YOU "<em>found a way</em>" to meet a big challenge in your life? You can tell me (and the rest of my audience) about it by signing into (or signing up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - at dr laura dot com, and sending me an email.</p>
Staff
2018-03-15T17:59:00Z
My Hero
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Hero/-432564085944273682.html
2018-03-14T17:59:00Z
2018-03-14T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband and I have been married 19 years, and we have two girls, aged 15 and 11. I've been listening to you in my car while picking them up from school for at least six years. At first, they whined and were annoyed by all the callers and their problems, but I liked that the wisdom they were getting would eventually sink in along with the words my husband and I shared with them. I'm proud to say that it worked! My girls have great heads on their shoulders, and people are amazed at their behavior and outlook on life.<br /><br />Last week, my 11-year-old told me she had to do an essay for school on her hero, and she picked YOU! She wrote that you are her hero because you tell people to put their kids first, tell them what should be important in life, and teach them how to treat others. I was a stay-at-home mom until last year, when I got a job I can do while they're in school. I'm still there for them before and after school every day, and they can't imagine not having me available to them. My 11-year-old has used some of your advice on her friends when conflicts occur. Thank you for being her hero, and for upholding and backing me up on the things I always wanted both my kids to learn. By the way, they no longer complain about listening to you!<br /><br />April</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2018-03-14T17:59:00Z
10 Things To Know Before Calling Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/10-Things-To-Know-Before-Calling-Dr.-Laura/542514581183086369.html
2018-03-13T17:59:00Z
2018-03-13T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I love your show and thought this list of "<em>Ten Commandments</em>" for the Dr. Laura program I came up with would be helpful to your listeners. I also got a good laugh out of writing them, so here goes:<br /><br /></p>
<ol>
<li>Don't ask if she can hear you. If she can't, she'll let you know.</li>
<br />
<li>"<em>Stop</em>" really does mean "<em>stop!</em>" Don't talk over her (and you KNOW you hear her talking). She might actually help you if you listen. After all, isn't that why you called?</li>
<br />
<li>Although you may be giggling out of nervousness, please don't laugh about your own life. If you don't take it seriously, why should Dr. Laura?</li>
<br />
<li>If you've already done something related to your problem or question, say you did it up front. Don't wait until Dr. Laura gives you advice to say you already did it. It's a waste of time, probably not true, and it's just plain annoying!</li>
<br />
<li>The program is called the "<em>Dr. Laura</em>" program. She earned the title. Please don't call her "<em>Laura.</em>"</li>
<br />
<li>Women: don't complain that your husband doesn't love you all day if you allow your kids not to be loved all day in daycare.</li>
<br />
<li>Values are values and right is right regardless of the "what ifs," "buts," and " I justs...."</li>
<br />
<li>If your answers to Dr. Laura's questions are "<em>I don't know,</em>" then check your channel listing. This is not the Psychic Radio Network.</li>
<br />
<li>WebMD does not give you credentials to diagnose someone, and not everyone is a narcissist.</li>
<br />
<li>Don't lie to Dr. Laura. She can spot BS from a mile away. It's not helpful and it's insulting, and she just may say "<em>Have a nice day</em>" and end your call!</li>
</ol>
<p><br />Tanishia</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2018-03-13T17:59:00Z
Baby Steps
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Baby-Steps/-583601892424652459.html
2018-03-12T17:59:00Z
2018-03-12T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm a second-generation listener. My siblings and I used to tell our Mom you were "<em>old school</em>" and didn't "<em>get</em>" real life. Still, my Mom gave me your books for my bridal shower. They helped at first, but then money, first-time home buying, two kids, and health issues intervened. I continued to listen to you, but then realized I was a fake and a fraud Dr. Laura listener! I was not my husband's girlfriend; I was not the best Mom I could be. My husband would come home smiling, and I would have a pissy look on my face. I yelled at my kids....often. <br /><br />One day, I complained to my husband that he didn't shave enough or grab me and kiss me or have sex with me. He looked at me and said, "<em>I don't because I'm not attracted to you!</em>" That was a gut punch because I still put on lipstick and didn't wear sweatpants. But my lousy attitude and my constant complaining made me ugly. At first, I retreated, but then re-read <em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>. I started touching him, giving him compliments, and thanking him for all the small things he did. I wasn't getting the reaction I wanted. He was overall my shenanigans AND me. Then I upped my game. I was more positive and understanding, and I started wearing cute outfits for him in the bedroom. This was very uncomfortable for me, but I kept doing it. Slowly, he started to respond positively to my changes. I'm thrilled to say we have now reconnected emotionally and physically. We have fallen in love again. Our home is now warm, loving and fun. Thank you, Dr. Laura!<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />Greta</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2018-03-12T17:59:00Z
What Would Jesus Do?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Would-Jesus-Do/-244961776136198184.html
2018-03-09T18:59:00Z
2018-03-09T18:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />In January, I heard you talk about the guys who returned a stolen painting to its rightful owner, and it reminded me of a much smaller situation that involved me.<br /><br />Around Christmas time, I went to a mall to do some shopping. When I got out of my car, there was a wallet on the ground by the rear wheel of another vehicle. It looked like a woman's wallet, so I went into the Target store at the mall to see if they had a lost and found and if they could use their loudspeaker to see if they could find the wallet's owner. They told me to take it to the police station several blocks away, which I did. I filled out some paperwork with my address and my cell phone number (and, by the way, I never opened the wallet, because I considered it someone's private property). <br /><br />I was almost home when my cell phone rang, and it was the woman who had dropped her wallet. She was very happy and even more thankful. It made her day and mine. I didn't have to ask the question I hear so often - "<em>What would Jesus do?</em>" I already knew the answer! <br /><br />Stan</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2018-03-09T18:59:00Z
Empty Nesting
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Empty-Nesting/508234514590455202.html
2018-03-08T18:59:00Z
2018-03-08T18:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband retired early - six years ago when he was 62. I'm 7 1/2 years younger than he is, so I'm still working for at least a few more years. When he retired, I would wake up, get ready and go to work. It was difficult at the beginning for me because I was jealous that he could stay in bed and I had to leave.<br /><br />But then, within the first week of him being home, I'd come through the door after work, and I'd smell dinner in the oven. Wow! Then I discovered the laundry was done. Double wow! We have a housekeeper who comes in once a week to clean for us, but after the first few weeks of his being home, my husband said, "<em>I don't know how you did all of this when the kids were small.</em>" He told me that he had a newfound respect for me too.<br /><br />We truly love each other and enjoy ourselves now that our kids are up and out. We've been married 37 years. Recently, at dinner with friends, my husband told them that I was the best thing that ever happened to him. I responded that he was to me as well!<br /><br />Colleen</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2018-03-08T18:59:00Z
Getting Rid Of A Perfectly Good Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Getting-Rid-Of-A-Perfectly-Good-Husband/802991228252708573.html
2018-03-07T18:59:00Z
2018-03-07T18:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I called you last month on a mission to get your agreement that my husband was terrible, and I should get out of the marriage. We are both 40 years old, married four years, with no kids. I was previously married in my twenties, but my husband passed away.<br /><br />I called because my husband had been pulling away from me sexually and looking at porn online instead. With your specific and direct questions, you helped me realize that his problem was physical. The next week, my husband and I went to a urologist. The problem was not that he was a jerk of a husband - it WAS a physical issue. The urologist changed the meds my husband was on and set him up on a weight loss program. He said we should notice a significant change in a few weeks, if not sooner.<br /><br />We are making that lifestyle change and we couldn't be happier. I was literally getting ready to call a divorce lawyer and leave this wonderful, sweet, caring man. I cannot believe how callous I was about tossing him away when it all turned out to have such a simple solution. Thank you for all the families you save!<br /><br />Karen</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2018-03-07T18:59:00Z
I Am My Own Boss
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Am-My-Own-Boss/-484035729432803750.html
2018-03-06T18:59:00Z
2018-03-06T18:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I went to law school and passed the bar exam. When I was a lawyer for a non-profit in charge of a runaway youth project, a mother called me from her car phone (back then, a car phone was a sign of success). Her daughter had run away and was living in a group home. I remember she said "<em>We are busy. We have careers. We don't have time for this!</em>" It was the saddest thing to hear that.<br /><br />I already knew I wanted to be a wife and mother, so when I had my first child, I phased out my practice to devote my time to home and family. I like to say "<em>Lawyers are a dime a dozen, but I'm the only mother to my children.</em>" With your voice in my head, I was able to turn around another mother who had gone to Ivy League schools and recently become a lawyer, but who struggled with the feeling that she invested so much into a career in law that she should practice and find someplace else for her children. She was relieved to realize that she didn't need to do that.<br /><br />We have intense pressure today to earn a paycheck and I've even had a female doctor argue with me during a visit that I should have my child in daycare! Women need to understand that satisfaction in doing a good job doesn't mean they have to push papers around for someone else and earn a paycheck. They can do their best in all they do as a wife and mother. Child rearing takes serious effort to do well. Also, taking care of a home and supporting our husbands so they can do their best in earning the income is more than a full-time job. And best of all, we are our own boss. I like being the CEO! I don't need a paycheck to tell me I'm doing a good job!<br />Warmly,<br /><br />Heidi</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2018-03-06T18:59:00Z
Giving Them The Guidance They Need
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Giving-Them-The-Guidance-They-Need/987564328565994647.html
2018-03-05T18:59:00Z
2018-03-05T18:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm an elementary school teacher, working with kids from kindergarten through the second grade. I hear a lot of "<em>tattling</em>" and have to help kids resolve conflicts on a daily basis. <br /><br />I have a rule when it comes to resolving conflicts where an apology is in order. First, I listen to both sides and make sure that I'm getting a straight story. Then, if an apology is in order I don't accept a flippant "<em>I'm sorry</em>" from them. I make them say they are sorry and state the reason why they're apologizing. I also do not allow the child who is receiving the apology to say, "<em>It's okay</em>," because if it was okay, then it would not have been necessary for them to tattle in the first place. I make them say "<em>Thank you. I accept your apology.</em>"<br /><br />I also had the opportunity recently to have two little girls who don't like each other and have a hard time getting along resolve a problem by working together on it. They didn't come away friends, but it was the first step in the right direction. Even as young as these kids are, they can work through things with the proper guidance.<br /><br />Lori</p>
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2018-03-05T18:59:00Z
Loving Each Other 365 Days A Year
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Loving-Each-Other-365-Days-A-Year/-407592329235088719.html
2018-02-23T18:59:00Z
2018-02-23T18:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Two weeks ago, I was sick with the flu. My sweet husband cared very well for me. Up until I got sick, he asked me what I wanted for Valentine's Day. I kept saying I didn't want anything. At church, he wrote me a note on the back of the church bulletin and folded it into an origami heart. I just melted.<br /><br />On Valentine's Day (February 14), he came home from work after a 12-hour shift, and he had a high fever. I went into action mode, taking his temperature, giving him medicine, pouring a bath, and giving him fluids to drink. I changed the sheets so he could be comfortable and after his bath, I tucked him in and said "<em>Happy Valentine's Day!</em>" He giggled and said, "<em>You're such a HOT Valentine!</em>" And we both laughed at the ridiculous pun.<br /><br />So while he didn't bring me flowers or candy or a card on Valentine's Day, the laugh we had and the assumption that we absolutely love each other was so much better than any gift. We love each other 365 days a year. It's hard sometimes, but I would never be happier than when I'm changing the sheets, pouring a bath, and finding clever ways to get him to drink liquids. This was our best Valentine's Day ever. <br /><br />Dr. Laura, you "<em>level</em>" me and center me and remind me that I am here to make his life better. We even have a little competition going, where we try to "<em>out love</em>" each other every day. We both listen to you, and your show always prompts wonderful conversations. <br /><br />Chelsey</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2018-02-23T18:59:00Z
Changing My Son's Path
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-My-Sons-Path/627253778761993072.html
2018-02-22T18:58:00Z
2018-02-22T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've messed up monumentally. With several failed marriages and a too-strong work ethic, I damaged my children in ways I now see that I could easily have prevented. When my son was about 15, he started testing his authority - he would talk back and be a smart mouth. After a few warnings, things mellowed, but one day he was asked to perform a task, and from the living room I heard the "<em>roar of the cub</em>" in defiance. I came around that corner and down that hall like a silverback gorilla, and, while I had no intention of touching him, he got the message. <br /><br />Then when he was in high school, he and I had an agreement - he was to raise half of the money for an expensive extracurricular class trip during the holidays and I would provide the other half. If he didn't have his portion (and he had plenty of time to earn it), he wouldn't go. I got a call from the school principal requesting my immediate presence there. That's when I learned he had been caught in the teachers' room with a purse belonging to one of them. No money was missing, and the teacher was willing to let it go if he gave her an apology. I refused that option and asked the police officer who was there if he would arrest my son. He was arrested at lunch in front of his friends and marched out in cuffs. He was put in lockup in the city jail and "<em>gently scared</em>" by other inmates that the officer knew so as to deter his desire to repeat this offense. I let him sit there for 12 hours before I got him out. The magistrate dropped all charges and told him to never show his face in there again.<br /><br />Since then, he's become a productive member of society. He works two jobs, has his own place, his own car, and pays all of his own bills....on time. Was it hard to do? YES, but I love my children, and it is my responsibility to train them to lead a productive life. I may have started out badly in my own life, and I'm still far from perfect, but hard love works. I'm a living testament to that.<br /><br />Simon</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2018-02-22T18:58:00Z
Even With Her Struggles, She STILL Stands Strong
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Even-With-Her-Struggles,-She-STILL-Stands-Strong/-103973440719231033.html
2018-02-21T18:59:00Z
2018-02-21T18:59:00Z
<br />
<p>Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>After trying for five years to become a mother, I was blessed with twin girls. One went to heaven while the other stayed here to teach me the real value of life. My daughter now 13 years old was diagnosed shortly after birth with a brain bleed leading to the diagnosis of cerebral palsy. We have been through every emotion and struggle in the book, however, her love for life, her siblings, and her surroundings has made me a very proud mom.</p>
<p>I decided when we first had children that I was going to be a stay-at-home mom until every last one of my babies was out of the house. It definitely has had its challenges dealing with a teen with a disability and three other children, but today while making breakfast before school, I realized that it’s all been worth it. As I was flying around the kitchen, I was talking to my children about school and life. My 13 year old started talking about her desires for the future and what she wants to do when she graduates. She has always wanted to be a doctor and has worked hard in school achieving the Principal’s Honor Roll even through all the challenges. I have always encouraged her to be anything she wants to be. She said, “<em>Mom, I would actually be an awesome speech therapist!</em>” I said “<em>YES! You could do it from home and have a ‘helper/nanny’ for your kids.</em>” She said, “<em>Mom, I will never have a nanny or put my children in daycare!</em>” I was so proud knowing that, even though the struggles with her body and the possibility of needing help in the future, she felt so strongly that SHE was going to raise her children!</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, for being the voice for future mothers and helping the present ones stay strong.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Andrea</p>
<br />
Staff
2018-02-21T18:59:00Z
A Handful Of Pistachios Can Make The Difference
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Handful-Of-Pistachios-Can-Make-The-Difference/105116119513755575.html
2018-02-20T18:59:00Z
2018-02-20T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I have a perfect example of how a small act of kindness toward your husband can set the sails in the right direction. <br /><br />My husband and I were watching a movie together, and we were eating pistachios. After a few minutes, I cracked one open and fed it to him. I looked at him and said, "<em>I love you.</em>" He smiled, ate the pistachio, and a second later, HE cracked one open and fed it to me. I thought that was so sweet - and an example of how a man responds to love just as you outlined in your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>." It wasn't but a minute later that he turned to me with a handful of pistachios that he'd cracked open for me. "<em>For me?</em>" I said. "<em>Of course,</em>" he said. "<em>I love you too</em>."<br /><br />It's such a silly little story, but if you just give a bit of extra time and care, he's prepared to give the world back to you - even if it's just a handful of pistachios. I hope this helps a wife out there who longs for more from her husband but doesn't know where to start. <br /> <br />Rowena<br />
Staff
2018-02-20T18:59:00Z
Changing The Way I Looked At My Relationship
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-The-Way-I-Looked-At-My-Relationship/-610519963901309245.html
2018-02-16T18:59:00Z
2018-02-16T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband and I have been married for seventeen years, and we have four children. He had never been married before and neither had I, but we each had one child when we married. Five years ago, we were on the verge of divorce. We knew something was missing in our relationship, and I started seeking elsewhere what I thought was missing.<br /><br />Finally, we decided to turn to our religion and started attending church on a regular basis. Our marriage started to get on a more stable footing, and then a year ago, I read your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Marriage/dp/0061142824" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage</a>."</em> That book totally changed the way I looked at our relationship. I started doing things for my husband whether I wanted to or not because it was something he wanted (that included sex). I complimented him and praised him to boost his confidence whenever he did something positive. When he was not feeling well, I stopped what I was doing to minister to him and give him a back rub, because I knew he would do the same for me. As a result, I have more patience with him, and we've rekindled all the positive things in our marriage. He is my best friend, and we are now always at each other's side, thinking how we can make each other happier he and I are married to each other.<br /><br />I have you to thank for putting the final touches on what is now a very happy and solid marriage.<br /><br /><br />Katrina<br />
Staff
2018-02-16T18:59:00Z
What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Do-You-Want-To-Be-When-You-Grow-Up/171489362264436162.html
2018-02-15T18:59:00Z
2018-02-15T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I have been married for 31 years and have been an enthusiastic listener for the last ten. I am the oldest child from a large family, and from the time I was a little girl, my dream was to be the mother of many children. <br /><br />When I was in third grade, my teacher asked us to write down what we wanted to be when we grew up, and I wrote down "<em>wife and mother.</em>" She quickly corrected me - "<em>No, no - the CAREER you want when you grow up</em>." I thought, even at that young age, that being a wife and mother WAS a career, but in my third grade mind, I wanted to please my teacher, so I started to think of all the things I could do in the meantime, and wrote them down, but I still wanted to be a mom.<br /><br />Years later, I graduated magna cum laude from college. After I got married, I asked my dad if he regretted helping educate me, because it was such a financial sacrifice for my parents. He didn't hesitate and said "<em>Of course not. When we helped educate you, we helped educate an entire family</em>!"<br /><br />Thank you for being a tireless advocate for stay-at-home moms, no matter what level of education we have.<br /><br />Theresa <br />
Staff
2018-02-15T18:59:00Z
From a Recovered Shack-Up Honey
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/From-a-Recovered-Shack-Up-Honey/433276651558299413.html
2018-02-14T18:59:00Z
2018-02-14T18:59:00Z
Dearest Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I want to share my story with you and your listeners. I've been listening to you for over 25 years. My boyfriend at the time turned me onto you right after we shacked up! How ironic is that! <br /><br />We had both been married before, him for 14 years and me for 7. Thank God, no kids for either one of us. After 7 years of shacking up, I decided that I would no longer attend any more weddings unless it was my own. Please note that I had no plans of having kids at this point either because my own childhood was less than desirable; I just wanted a ring and a date because I knew it was the right thing to do. <br /><br />Shortly after this decision, I found out that I was pregnant. Yes, Dr. Laura, I was on the pill! As soon as I shared this news with my then boyfriend and current one!, he got down on one knee and begged me to marry him and we married 2 months later. No, it was not the wedding of my dreams but my dad walked me down the aisle and my family and his family were there and that was the most important part. <br /><br />We never discussed me being an at home mom, it was a given. I quit my job when I was 8 months pregnant and have worked many different jobs here and there to help out but my main job has always been raising my children and taking care of my wonderful husband. We went without but looking back now, we didn't! <br /><br />Almost 19 years later, here I am with 3 kids; an 18 year old girl and 2 boys 16 and 15. I am not going to tell you how beautiful they are but I will tell you that they are beautiful people on the inside and we are raising them to be productive members of society, encouraging them to always do the right things and having meaningful conversations about how to accomplish this in such a difficult environment. Do we do everything right? No, but every day I strive to be the best mom I can be and won't stop until they are up and out - no snowflakes here! <br /><br />I am one of the fortunate ones, who, besides doing everything wrong in the beginning, have come out on top. A loving husband who adores me and I him, we are loving parents who try to mentor our children even though these teen years which are the toughest, and look forward to the time my boyfriend and I will have alone! <br /><br />I want to thank you so much for being such a positive influence on so many lives, mine included. I lost you for so many years and 2 years ago got a "new to me" car with XM radio and renew my membership mainly because of you. Your morals and values stuck with me for all those years even when I didn't have you to listen to. Thank you for all you do for all of us who listen. <br /><br />With gratitude and love, Sandy<br />
Staff
2018-02-14T18:59:00Z
Forever Imprinted On My Mind
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Forever-Imprinted-On-My-Mind/-913216084819446225.html
2018-02-13T18:59:00Z
2018-02-13T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Not long ago, I heard you take a call from a man wondering if his young son should see his dying grandfather. I had a similar experience fifty years ago. My grandfather was a kind and giving man from Italy. He was so thankful for being in America that he would occasionally joke and say he was born in America and not in Italy. <br /><br />He grew his own vegetables, made his own wine, and gave much of it away. When we would visit him during family gatherings, he would greet us by sitting at the kitchen table playing his guitar and singing. I learned from him that being thankful and bringing meaning to others' lives was a better path to happiness than a life focused on self.<br /><br />Back in 1968, his health deteriorated, and he ended up in a local nursing home. Children under 12 were not allowed visitation in those days. My father, however, decided that it was still important for me to see him. He took me to the outside of the building where my grandfather was and knocked on the window. My grandfather responded with a smile and a wave. The happy and peaceful look on his face will be forever imprinted on my mind. Even facing death, his personality eclipsed the despair he was facing, and to this day, while my memory of that day is brief, I have something to hold on to that allows me to stay clearly focused on my heart and giving to others than the more obvious and inescapable idea of death. Thank you for what you do for all of us who listen.<br /><br />Your friend, <br /><br />Steve<br />
Staff
2018-02-13T18:59:00Z
She Knows Now That She Has A Mother She Can Turn To, With Anything
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/She-Knows-Now-That-She-Has-A-Mother-She-Can-Turn-To,-With-Anything/934818177472523046.html
2018-02-12T18:59:00Z
2018-02-12T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I made a parenting mistake when my kids were teenagers - I didn't listen enough. The teen years are really tough, and sometimes I felt like I was navigating through them as a parent alone. <br /><br />Because I offered my adult wisdom all the time to my daughter back when she was in her mid-teens, we would fight, fight, and fight some more. In hindsight, I realize if I had just listened and gave her plenty of room to talk, she would have continued to come to me with her issues, worries, and stories. Instead, I butted in and offer advice on everything. By not listening, I drove her away. <br /><br />My husband and I have been married for 27 years, and during this time, she turned to him a lot. He helped bridge the gap and HE listened to her. Fortunately, his advice was well-received. <br /><br />Fast forward ten years, and I'm happy to report that we now have a wonderful relationship. We laugh and talk almost every day. And I <em>listen</em> to her. If she had a stressful day, I listen. If she wants to talk about work, I listen. Advice is only given when warranted and asked for. By my backing away and listening, my girl grew up and became a very responsible young woman. She knows now she has a mom she can turn to with anything. And I learned that listening is sometimes a lot more important than offering unsolicited advice and opinions.<br /><br /><br />Kathy<br />
Staff
2018-02-12T18:59:00Z
The Dr. Laura Diet
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Dr.-Laura-Diet/526834773805128673.html
2018-02-09T18:59:00Z
2018-02-09T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've been in broadcasting all my life. 25 years ago, I was assigned to listen to you for our stations. I didn't really like what you said, but you are such an engaging, "<em>take no prisoners</em>" broadcaster, that I fell in love with you. I was raised by parents that you try to help your callers to be. They taught us kids morals and manners. No woman I dated would ever have to wait for me to open the door!<br /><br />But television and radio stations are full of beautiful young women who are only there for a few years. So, at the time, all I saw were "<em>hot</em>" babes with no commitments. Sport sex was my obsession. I thought "<em>what a life!</em>" But after listening to you for about three years, your message finally came through. I came to my senses and decided I wanted a different life. I wanted the love of a good woman and everything that came with a "well-fed" marriage. I also needed someone with discipline, so we could accumulate wealth for the days ahead. I made a lot of money, but I had nothing. <br /><br />Twenty-one years ago, I found that person. We'll be married twenty years this year. I finally have a fantastic personal life. When I ask "<em>how did this happen to me</em>," I think it was you opening my mind and teaching me to think. Just think. Use the brain God gave me. I've been on the "<em>Dr. Laura diet</em>" on and off for the last 25 years. You've defined the direction of my moral compass when I've ticked off course, and your advice has always come at a time when I needed it. You've helped me more than I thought some radio talk show host ever could. Thank you for telling me I could change. Live long and prosper!<br /><br /><br />Jerry<br />
Staff
2018-02-09T18:59:00Z
Getting Through The Rocky Days
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Getting-Through-The-Rocky-Days/86906688629035677.html
2018-02-08T18:59:00Z
2018-02-08T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband and I have been together for over 30 years. I was a stay-at-home mom to three children, and my husband traveled too much during their formative years, so he wasn't a physical presence that much in our home.<br /><br />Our son became a drug addict. On the first try at rehab, we were new at it and did all the wrong things. My husband was an enabler thinking that was actually helping our son. I educated myself better, so by the second try, we sent him to rehab for 90 days and told him he would never come back to live in our home again. We gave him the pink slip on his life and told him not to see us until he was clean and sober for a year.<br /><br />He is 30 years old now. He figured out his life on his own terms, now works with addicts, and is engaged to a wonderful woman who understands him. We have our entire family back, and we're stronger than ever. There were many rocky days when he'd call and complain and I channeled my inner Dr. Laura and said "<em>Sorry to hear that. Hope you can work that out.</em>" <br /><br />Parents need to hear your tough love direction. It truly works.<br /><br />Kimberly<br /><br />
Staff
2018-02-08T18:59:00Z
What Might Dr. Laura Say
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Might-Dr.-Laura-Say/450779150204574355.html
2018-02-07T18:59:00Z
2018-02-07T18:59:00Z
Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Last night, I had an "<em>aha</em>" moment where I thought "<em>what might Dr. Laura say</em>" and followed through on that and it worked out very well. My husband and I were having a conversation about some financial decisions we needed to make, and even though he understood my concerns, I was annoyed and couldn't get out of that mood. Once I noticed what I was doing, however, I just walked up to him and gave him a really big hug.<br /><br />As the evening wore on and we were watching TV, I made sure to put my feet on his legs, lean into his shoulder, and by the end of the night, we were both in great moods and he was genuinely happy. That's when I thought "<em>this is EXACTLY what Dr. Laura talks about!</em>" It may seem like simple advice to give hugs, hold hands and touch, but it really can make a huge difference. <br /><br />Thank you for your guidance!<br /><br />Kendra<br />
Staff
2018-02-07T18:59:00Z
'Finding' Your Soulmate
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finding-Your-Soulmate/-795587809254169581.html
2018-02-06T18:59:00Z
2018-02-06T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Recently, you spoke about the idea of soulmates, and how people who believe in soul mates expect their marriages to somehow take care of themselves, and when things get bumpy they move on to find another soul mate. I work in geriatrics, and I get to meet couples who have been married for 40, 50 and sometimes 60 years. As these couples tell their stories, I realize they really are soulmates, but not because they were soul mates when they met, but because they have shared a lifetime of experiences, joys, and sorrows together. They didn't stay together because they are soulmates; they became soulmates <em>because they</em> stayed together.<br /><br />My husband is the one person who has been beside me for the beauty of our wedding, our honeymoon, and the joys and fears of pregnancy and childbirth. He held our daughters through the long nights of infancy and taught them to ride their bikes. He's been beside me on my worst days and comforted me, and he has celebrated the best times with me and laughed with me. Sure, there are days when we argue, but if we decided to throw in the towel one day and start fresh with someone else, all that shared history is gone.<br /><br />The more relationships you go through trying to find a soulmate, the less of you there is to BE a soulmate for someone else. Just as hardship and endurance create our own characters, the hardship and endurance are what creates the soul of a marriage. The accountability, reliability and the kind of love that grows stronger over time cannot happen at first sight. I believe in soulmates, but it's not something you "<em>find</em>." It is something you create over a lifetime. Thank you so much for all your guidance.<br /><br />Ashlee<br />
Staff
2018-02-06T18:59:00Z
My Dad, My Salvation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Dad,-My-Salvation/-122241500140728447.html
2018-02-05T18:59:00Z
2018-02-05T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I was an only child growing up in a traditional household in the 50s and 60s. My mother had escaped a strict household and was harsh in her discipline. Although she encouraged me in some areas, she also seemed to be angry with me a lot, telling me the world was a place to be feared, full of strangers and bad men. <br /><br />My salvation was my dad. He grew up on a farm with 13 brothers and sisters, and he was soft-spoken and gentle. He taught me to love nature, and that people were generally good and that I need not fear everyone. He always kept a boat, and we often went fishing. It was these quiet times with him that balanced the time I spent with my mother. When my mom was gone once a week to be out with her friends, my Dad would get me out of bed, and we'd watch Huckleberry Hound cartoons, all the while listening for her returning car!<br /><br />Because our bond was so strong, I measured every man I met by him and his gentle ways. Without his love, I would have been a different adult. He lived ten more years after my mother died. I was able to care for him in my home until he passed away recently. I know I was luckier than most to have such a wonderful father.<br /><br />Carla <br />
Staff
2018-02-05T18:59:00Z
Resetting The Boundaries
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Resetting-The-Boundaries/-698308605694776417.html
2018-02-02T18:59:00Z
2018-02-02T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I had a neighbor who had a son who was about two years old. He liked to touch himself, and his mother kept telling him that that behavior was "<em>yucky</em>." I tried repeatedly to tell her to not say that to him since that was just teaching him that "<em>yucky</em>" felt good. She dismissed my comments because I don't have any children.<br /><br />One afternoon, she asked me to watch him for a few hours while she had to go out. While we were playing, he touched himself. I wasn't surprised, but I asked if he had to go to the bathroom. He said no, and we continued to play. <br /><br />A little later, he did it again. So I asked him if it "<em>itched</em>." He told me that it did not. <br />Still, later, he did it again. While I don't have kids, I grew up around a lot of boys and I had never seen anyone of them touch himself so much. I asked him if it hurt, and he shook his head and said "<em>no</em>."<br /><br />So, I said, "<em>you don't have to use the bathroom, it doesn't itch, and it doesn't hurt.</em>" He agreed that all of those statements were true. So I said the following to him: "<em>You are not supposed to touch that in front of other people. If you do it again, I will take it away from you and I won't give it back!</em>"<br /><br />His eyes, got huge, he looked at "<em>it</em>," but he never touched himself in front of me again.<br />Boundaries do work, and you don't have to make the child feel bad or dirty in the process.<br /><br /><br />Ariana<br />
Staff
2018-02-02T18:59:00Z
A Tribute to My Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Tribute-to-My-Dad/-644167994000866740.html
2018-02-01T18:59:00Z
2018-02-01T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />This is a tribute to my Dad. My parents had four children, all close in age. My father was a salesman, and my Mom worked weekends as a nurse when my father was free to stay home with us. I have many memories of weekends with Dad, heading to the sporting goods store to walk up and down the aisles and dream of being a ballplayer or tennis star. We didn't have a lot of money then, so we rarely bought anything, but one time, my Dad bought a catcher's glove that cost eighty dollars! It was the start of endless hours in our yard with all four of us learning to throw balls. <br /><br />We even made it to a few Detroit Tigers' games. We were always in the bleachers and we always stopped at the grocery store beforehand to buy our own snacks, which were more affordable than those at the ballpark. We went early and watched batting practice too. We'd spend the whole day there (which I'm sure was a good way to keep four small kids occupied), but we loved every minute of it.<br /><br />Our family was involved at church, and my Dad never missed going on Sundays. When we were all in our late teens and not that interested, I once told him I wasn't even sure if I was a believer. He said to me "<em>I don't have all the answers, but I have so much joy and happiness in my life that I find it easy to take one hour during the week to go to church and say thank you for all my blessings</em>." That was a lesson learned for me too.<br /><br />We even started a family tradition of going to nursing homes to sing Christmas carols around holiday time (my mom worked at a nursing home for a while, so that's how it started). I do this now with my own family. My kids love it and I'm hoping they carry it on to their families when they have them too. But the greatest gift my Dad gave to us kids was the example of how to love your spouse and your children. All four of us have intact marriages and great families, and I have both of my parents to thank for that!<br /><br />Alex<br />
Staff
2018-02-01T18:59:00Z
Waking Me Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Waking-Me-Up/658372742368583421.html
2018-01-31T18:59:00Z
2018-01-31T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />There was a period in our life when my husband and I would continuously fight over the most ridiculous things. We would go to bed mad, wake up and carry it over into the next day, and the next day, and before we knew it, a week would go by without us talking to each other. One particular evening, we started the same cycle and I left the room. I went straight for the shower, and he went to bed.<br /><br />You were on the radio at night where we lived, and I turned on your program and heard you say "<em>between now and dead, do you want to live your life</em>" and then a few callers later, I heard "<em>never stop being your husband's girlfriend</em>." I thought to myself that my husband was a good man and he chose me to be his wife. I knew what I was doing was wrong, and I thought if I didn't stop, I would lose him. So I shaved my legs, put on sexy, fragrant lotion, walked naked into our bedroom and woke him up with a nice surprise. The next morning, he acknowledged the wonderful night we had and said that he hadn't been expecting that. Because I made the decision to be his girlfriend on that particular night, it snowballed into us going back to the strong foundation of love we had when we first WERE boyfriend and girlfriend. I will always have butterflied, admiration and respect for my man.<br /><br />Thank you for letting "<em>waking me up</em>" so I could see all over again what I really already knew.<br /><br />Karen<br />
Staff
2018-01-31T18:59:00Z
My Dad Showed His Love Every Day
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Dad-Showed-His-Love-Every-Day/885105354599197086.html
2018-01-30T18:59:00Z
2018-01-30T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My dad, with no college degree, provided for a family of four and allowed my mom to stay home and raise us. He was always there when we had soccer games or other events. I never remember feeling in want of anything, even though we didn't have a lot of money, and we never went to Disneyland (much to the shock of all the other kids in our area). Even more importantly, my dad loved my mom. That meant the world to me. He showed it every day.<br /><br />The impact my dad on me had a ripple effect. When I was in college, I met a guy who was visiting our church and was in limbo as to whether or not he should move closer to his daughter when he got out of the Marines. I hardly knew him, but I spoke up and told him he should move. I felt I HAD to speak up for his young daughter. I had needed MY daddy, and I just knew she needed hers. He <em>did</em> move, and while I had no idea at the time of what was going to happen, I married that same Marine a few years later.<br /><br />We married before I discovered your radio show, and now I understand the challenges of bringing stepparents into the mix. It can be difficult and it takes huge sacrifices, but I have witnessed the most priceless moments when I see my husband and his daughter together. And I think...what would it be like if that were missing? God bless good dads. They help hold our fragile society together. <br /><br />Hailey<br />
Staff
2018-01-30T18:59:00Z
Learning By Example
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-By-Example/322285056693135494.html
2018-01-29T18:59:00Z
2018-01-29T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />While walking through the parking lot of a popular local retail store with our nine-year-old daughter, my husband and I observed a man who was physically assaulting a woman inside a vehicle. My husband and I are both police officers, so we quickly went into "<em>cop mode</em>." <br /> <br />We put our daughter in our vehicle and locked the door, making sure she was within our eyesight. I called my Sheriff's dispatch to advise them of the situation. I approached the window of the car and advised the woman my husband and I were both cops and the Sheriff's department was on the way. I convinced her to pull back into her parking space and wait. In the meantime, my husband was on the passenger side attempting to explain to the man that he wasn't going anywhere. The man began yelling at my husband and tried to get out of the car, but my husband was able to physically restrain him and get him back In the car. That's when the Sheriff's department showed up and took over from there.<br /><br />I peeked over at our daughter to make sure she was okay, and she was smiling from ear to ear and gave us a "<em>thumb's up</em>" because she just saw her Dad handle business and show her yet another example of what a real man does in these situations. My man isn't afraid to help anyone in need or protect his family no matter what the cost. He shows my daughter and me all the time how much he cares. <br /><br />Tori<br />
Staff
2018-01-29T18:59:00Z
Friends, Food And Sleep
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Friends,-Food-And-Sleep/-305116215555732590.html
2018-01-26T18:59:00Z
2018-01-26T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Not long ago, I heard you tell a woman who had just lost her husband of 37 years that what she needed over the next few months was "<em>friends, food, and sleep</em>." That is so true! I lost my husband too, and I remember the sheer agony during those early days, and what a difference my best friend made in my life at that time.<br /><br />I was at a point of just "<em>surviving</em>," but every night, my friend would send me a simple "<em>hello</em>" text message or made a phone call. She didn't try to get me to forget or be distracted - she was just "there," so if I feel, she would help me get up. If I had a good day, she was excited for me. If I was sad, she was sad with me. She did that for over a couple of years! Just a simple "how was your day" text. Her presence was needed on many occasions, and she just knew it. I didn't know it, but she did. "<em>Friends, food and sleep</em>" is a perfect description of what you need at that time when you lose your husband.<br /><br />It's been nine years now. I have not remarried nor dated. Our daughter graduated from college this past year, so now that she's an adult and stable, I'm considering selling off the business my husband and I had and moving into the next chapter of my life. <br /><br />My best friend listens to you often, and I hope she'll hear the appreciation I have for her just being there and giving me a push to get out of bed and move when I needed to. I also hope the caller I heard who prompted this email has a friend who can be HER best friend to help her get through the mundane things you "survive" during those early years. Thank you for your clarity and those simple words: "<em>Friends, food </em>and<em> sleep.</em>"<br /><br />Susan<br />
Staff
2018-01-26T18:59:00Z
Making Our Kids the Priority
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Our-Kids-the-Priority/905798311291571760.html
2018-01-25T18:59:00Z
2018-01-25T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm in a second marriage with three kids from my previous marriage and two from my husband's previous marriage. I knew the statistics weren't good before we married, so we waited four years to make sure we wouldn't hurt our kids anymore. I was married for 21 years the first time, and I left knowing I did everything possible to try to save what was irreparably broken. I reconnected with my high school best friend whom I had never dated, and he was as amazing as I had remembered. <br /><br />We just celebrated our 11th anniversary. We truly worked our butts off to make sure our kids were a priority so that we would never cause them pain again. Last year, we moved to a different state and took in my 84-year-old mother to care for her. My husband said to me it was the right thing to do. Of course, there were far more challenges than I had expected, and I found myself snapping at my husband more, and being a pain in the rear to this wonderful man who loves me unconditionally. On New Year's Eve, he didn't live up to MY expectations of a romantic moment at midnight, but of course, I never TOLD him what I expected and I got snippy and went off by myself.<br /><br />Someone gave me a copy of "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>" and I devoured it right after that moment. One of the most profound things I read was "<em>how would you like to be on the receiving end of your words?</em>" You smacked me across the face hard! The next day I apologized and he said "<em>Next year, we'll make a fire, pop champagne and cozy up to ring in the new year."</em> So I am changing because of your words. With a 75% divorce rate for second marriages and a man who other women would take in a heartbeat, I'm being kinder, gentler and more loving. THANK YOU!!<br /><br />Elise<br />
Staff
2018-01-25T18:59:00Z
Stop Nagging
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stop-Nagging/-161706676709636678.html
2018-01-24T18:59:00Z
2018-01-24T18:59:00Z
<br />I’ve heard you tell callers to “stop nagging about the socks on the floor, because one day those socks may no longer be there.” I never would have imagined at 35 years old this would apply to me. My husband was diagnosed with a form of testicular cancer that has a high cure rate when caught early. Unfortunately, in his case, it was NOT caught early, and the cancer had spread. We had a six year old son, and I was a stay-at-home mom, which allowed me to be there for both my husband and son at a time when I was most needed.<br /><br />I was able to be there when he came home from his chemo rounds. I was able to be there to help him to bed, the restroom, and to get his medicine, water, and to provide dinner if he was able to eat it. I was able to be a rock and steady constant for my son during a tough time and experience for all of us. I could take him to school and pick him up, stay in good contact with his teacher, still do the fun “kid” things, and answer any questions and talk about the fears he had. Had I not been there, things would not have gone so well for my son.<br /><br />Thankfully, due to modern medical treatment and lots of prayers, my husband is doing well. At this point, we have every reason to be optimistic. So, I want to thank YOU for always encouraging me and other women to be their husbands’ girlfriends and their kids’ moms. I no longer take my spouse for granted, and I do wake up every day thinking how I can make his day better and show how much I appreciate him, so my husband thanks you too!<br /><br />Fondly,<br /><br />Beryl<br />
Staff
2018-01-24T18:59:00Z
Changing Your Outlook
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-Your-Outlook/164993440102201005.html
2018-01-23T18:59:00Z
2018-01-23T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm 26 years old and will celebrate my second wedding anniversary next month. Since we didn't shack up prior to getting married, the first year of marriage was a bit of a trial in learning how to live with one another comfortably. I'm a "clean freak," and my husband is not, so at first, I was the nagging wife who tried to pawn my desire for a clean and tidy home off onto my husband. I kept asking him to clean up his dresser, which was overflowing with socks and clothes he wasn't wearing, but not surprisingly, my repetition of this demand didn't work. So I gradually lessened the amount of time I brought it up, and essentially gave up on trying to make it happen. <br /><br />In our first year of marriage, I've learned it's important to look at the relationship as a whole, rather than at the small things that can overshadow all the good. It's easy to focus on an overflowing dresser, but then I remember all the times he woke up early to heat up my car for me, drove to my parents' house in a snowstorm so my dad wouldn't have to shovel, or secretly put aside money for me to get the new purse I had my eye on. Our relationship now is stronger than ever. I'm reading "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>" too, and it puts everything into perspective. <br /><br />The best thing? Three days after I started implementing the suggestions in your book, my husband finally cleaned out his dresser! Thank you for all that you do, especially for those of us in our early years of marriage!<br /><br />Serena<br /><br />
Staff
2018-01-23T18:59:00Z
Tough Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Tough-Love/-622977007104231905.html
2018-01-22T18:59:00Z
2018-01-22T18:59:00Z
<br /><span>Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When my daughter was 18, she shacked up with her abusive boyfriend. I channeled my inner Dr. Laura and told her that if she wanted to live a life with a man who would treat her like that, she had to do it on her own. We gave her the pink slip on her life - we cut off her phone, took her car away, and didn't pay a dime of college. We "lost" her for seven years. She chose that abuser over us, and it was very tough, but because I had listened to you for years, I knew we were doing the right thing.<br /><br />She put herself through college by living with a family as their nanny, and also worked a retail job. When she finally came back to us, it was as if she left a month ago. I always had confidence she would return but never dreamed it would take seven years!! She now respects us and knows what we stand for. She even listens to you and is finally living a mature, productive life. And she has very high expectations for the man in her future with whom she will want to spend the rest of her life. <br /><br />Thank you for not retiring! This new generation needs you more than ever.<br /><br /><br />Kara</span><br />
Staff
2018-01-22T18:59:00Z
I Finally Understand
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Finally-Understand/911513492716801264.html
2018-01-19T18:59:00Z
2018-01-19T18:59:00Z
<br />I've listened to you for a little over a year, and your comment that not everything can be fixed has really resonated with me. For a former shack-up honey, divorced mom of two, and remarried woman with minor children, it has taken a lot for me to face what those words really mean. <br /><br />My sons are 7 and 12 and bounce back and forth from one home to the other, not having the time or feeling of ownership to settle into either. I married their father at the age of 22 and gave no consideration to our future. We never discussed family dynamics, education, religion, finances or even if we loved and liked each other before we married. Because of that, I realized I married a man I did not respect or love. I then chose to create not one, but TWO children with him. I was immature, selfish, and not willing to make our marriage work for the children. I was only concerned with MY happiness and MY future. I either did not care to see the life my children would live or I was incredibly young and stupid.<br /><br />I listen to you now every day, and finally understand that in the lives of my children, not everything can be fixed. That's a hard pill to swallow. I can't turn back the clock, but because of your influence, I stay home with them now and do everything in my power to create consistency in our home, and I'm there every moment I'm allowed to be. Their dad now allows me to pick them up from school, take them to activities and spend extra time supporting him when he has them. I think of you when I get frustrated and remember that not everything can be fixed, which actually calms me and reminds me that I brought this trouble on myself and them. I could have made better decisions. Thank you for helping those who have not yet gone down the road as far as I have. And I work every day to make the life my kids have the best it can be even under "less than best" circumstances. <br /><br />Appreciatively,<br /><br />Marilyn <br />
Staff
2018-01-19T18:59:00Z
My World Was Shaped By My Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-World-Was-Shaped-By-My-Mom/-19081321174938821.html
2018-01-18T18:59:00Z
2018-01-18T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I grew up in a household where my mom worked hard to raise us as a stay-at-home mom. I never appreciated this as a kid, but she sacrificed so much for us. Unfortunately, because of a dire family situation, my mom had to work full time during my senior year of high school. I had four younger siblings, and our lives changed dramatically. It was never the same. Even so, I always desired a power career and thought nothing of putting my future children in daycare. <br /> <br />However, after listening to you and maturing a little, I no longer desire that, because I want to love them all day like I was in my younger years. My husband agrees, and we're carefully planning and saving so that this can be a reality. We're working toward a goal of having our future home paid off by the time we're thirty so my income will not be required. I now appreciate all my mom did so much more because I see women I work with dump their kids for 10 to 12 hours a day at daycare and that's an experience I never had. My quality of life was significant because my mom was always there.<br /><br />I consider it a privilege to someday take care of my kiddos at home. Thank you for teaching women how important this is for the well-being of their children. My entire world was and is shaped differently because my mom cared enough to actually be a mother.<br /><br />Brooke<br />
Staff
2018-01-18T18:59:00Z
Doing The Right Thing Is Always Worth It
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Doing-The-Right-Thing-Is-Always-Worth-It/225474053465108475.html
2018-01-17T18:59:00Z
2018-01-17T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My partner David and I are two of three gentlemen who found a famous painting that was stolen thirty years ago from the University of Arizona. We own a small shop in New Mexico that resells furniture, antiques, and estate finds. Several months ago, we purchased the contents of an estate in a nearby community, and in the contents, we found a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Willem_de_Kooning" target="_blank">Willem de Kooning</a> painting "<em>Woman Ochre</em>." At the time, we had no knowledge of its worth or prestige, but our customers recognized the artist's name and encouraged us to look into the piece. <br /><br />Ever since I met David, he has talked about you to me, and often would remind me to "<em>do the right thing</em>." Over time, I started listening to him and you, and we often had deep conversations about the topics that people called you about. I'm telling you this because you had a real influence on what we did in this case. Once David discovered that the painting in our possession was stolen property, we said "<em>We've gotta give it back. She has to go home!</em>" It was by no means an easy task to try and simply return the painting! It was almost laughable how many phone calls, emails, and texts it took. I guess it's not every day that someone calls up a museum saying they think they have THE painting that was stolen. David jumped through all the red tape, including working with the museum, the FBI, law enforcement and the news media from all around the world. Even the attorneys couldn't get it through their heads that all we wanted was to "<em>do the right thing.</em>" Ever since we've been thrust into the spotlight, it's been easy to answer the question "<em>What did you get out of it?</em>" Our answer: "<em>Peace of mind. We simply returned something that had been stolen.</em>" We just did the right thing.<br /><br />I'm honored to be a part of the story of this painting. We're now having fun telling the story, and reassuring people that we asked for no reward because we only did the right thing. So many people have told us that we have reaffirmed their faith in humanity. Your words ring true in the world!<br /><br />Buck<br />
Staff
2018-01-17T18:59:00Z
Right Now You Have To Be 'Big'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Right-Now-You-Have-To-Be-Big/593671742231992993.html
2018-01-16T18:59:00Z
2018-01-16T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband and I have been living overseas on military orders for the majority of our two kids' lives. Our kids are three and a half and two and a half. And my husband has been gone eight of the last twelve months. Three months into his deployment, my kids and I sat down to have a good cry. My three and a half-year-old son took my face in his hands and said: "<em>Mama, right now you have to be very big, but when Dada gets home, you get to be little again</em>." I am a committed and loving stay-at-home mom, but following that deployment, I let my husband know how profoundly important he was to each of us - how safe he makes us feel, how brave he teaches us all to be, and how much joy he brings into our home.<br /><br />That's when he promised me that he was going to work toward a "<em>non-deploying</em>" position because nothing was more important to him than raising our kids together. To our surprise and gratitude, his superiors reluctantly agreed to let him change his course and he received official orders just last week supporting that decision. I've heard you mention on your show the irreplaceable role of a man to his family. Video chats, family visits, supportive communities, fun outings, mama cuddles and creative countdowns to when Daddy comes home are all wonderful things, but they're not a substitute for an in-the-flesh husband and father. Whenever my husband and I feel tired from swimming against the current, we just kiss our kids goodnight and go downstairs to listen to your podcasts. Your words are of great value to us.<br /><br />Alberta<br />
Staff
2018-01-16T18:59:00Z
The Dr. Laura Cure For Anxiety
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Dr.-Laura-Cure-For-Anxiety/-409854016566773484.html
2018-01-15T18:59:00Z
2018-01-15T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />About ten years ago, when I was 52, I developed a fear of driving on highways. As quickly as it started, it would stop. Eventually, it got worse, and last year I started avoiding highways completely. That's when I heard you one day talk about getting out of your car and doing push-ups and getting back in and doing this again until the anxiety stopped.<br /><br />The first time I tried this, I was too embarrassed to get out of the car, but all the time I spent thinking about it helped me a little, but I still got off at the next exit. The next time my heart started racing, there wasn't an exit for seven miles, so I pulled over on the side of the highway and started "<em>trying</em>" to do a push-up. I fell down on one side but then tried a modified push up on my knees. People started honking their horns and either laughing or looking strangely at me. I got back in my car, smiling, and the next thing I realized, the exit was only two miles away - I had driven five miles without anxiety. I've done this again and again and now other drivers shout encouragement at me (but some still give me strange looks). When one yelled out the window "<em>You go, girl,</em>" I gave a thumbs up and said "<em>Dr. Laura - the cure for anxiety!</em>" Now, I just think about that and smile as I drive on to the highway. Thanks, Dr. Laura!<br /><br />Mary<br /><br />
Staff
2018-01-15T18:59:00Z
Proud Of My Pre-School Dropout
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Proud-Of-My-Pre-School-Dropout/123822221937700264.html
2018-01-12T18:59:00Z
2018-01-12T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Recently, my best friend and I were talking about our children and all the funny things they have said and done. She was a room “helper” at my son’s kindergarten, and when the teacher asked the students where they had gone to pre-school, my son stated proudly that he was a “<em>pre-school dropout!</em>” <br /><br />When my son was three, I signed him up for preschool, but a few months later, he asked if he could quit. So I said we could have our own fun preschool at home. I recreated my favorite TV show of the 1960s – “<em>Romper Room</em>”-- in our dining room. I had toys in baskets, a hook for stick horses, picture books on shelves, an art area and a felt weatherboard. It was a cool playroom that looked like preschool. We read stories together, drew pictures together, had stuffed animals as “<em>schoolmates</em>” and we even had a pretend preschool “<em>play</em>.” Sometimes we’d go out to a duck pond and watch the ducks as we ate our packed lunches. This was one of the best memories for both of us, and pretend preschool was a time when he didn’t have to share his mom or anything with anyone.<br /><br />As a young adult, he’s a great student, funny, happy, charmingly assertive, talented, chivalrous, and well-liked by many. Sorry, pre-school advocates, but there goes your theory about how preschool improves socialization and allows your child to get ahead earlier. Many years later, I’m still proud of my pre-school dropout!<br /><br />Liz<br /><br />
Staff
2018-01-12T18:59:00Z
Sticking To My Vows
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sticking-To-My-Vows/954231076170214029.html
2018-01-11T18:59:00Z
2018-01-11T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I turned 53 in December and I think I finally have this husband thing down! We did something stupid almost 25 years ago - we got married after only knowing each other for only eight months. It was rocky at times; more than once, I felt like walking out. But we made vows, so I did my part and stuck it out. My husband could have left too, and he didn't.<br /><br />Then I started treating him with more respect, and let him know that his thoughts and feelings mattered to me. I told him how much I appreciate the hard work he does. Then I finally learned how to put him above other family members. I have an aunt who asked to "<em>borrow</em>" some money, but I knew her problem was a need to prioritize her spending better, and not one of true desperation. I didn't even have to ask my husband because I knew he'd say no. I carefully weighed my decision and decided it was my husband who was my priority, not my aunt. <br /><br />Please keep on encouraging women to treat their men like gold. Since doing that, I've been able to transform our relationship from dire to delightful. <br /><br />Your fan,<br /><br />Leesa<br />
Staff
2018-01-11T18:59:00Z
I'm Glad That I Made The Right Choices
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Glad-That-I-Made-The-Right-Choices/-115859670686056323.html
2018-01-10T18:59:00Z
2018-01-10T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband and I worked hard during the last months of my first pregnancy eleven years ago so I could stay home after the baby was born. We even sold our boat and extra vehicle so money wouldn't be an issue. I've been a stay-at-home mom since that time and have never regretted it. <br /><br />When my youngest went off to kindergarten three years ago, I started an online business so I could still be there for homework and afternoon snacks and playtime. I think many women go back to work after they become mothers because they are scared at the prospect of taking on a full-time job (that is, motherhood) for which they never had any training. The inherent concerns of motherhood and the "mommy-shaming" that occurs these days keeps women running back to jobs they DO know how to do and that they feel competent doing! After all, they've had years of training for those jobs. I wish more women would have the confidence in themselves and their natural maternal instincts, regardless of how other women operate as mothers.<br /><br />My husband and I enjoyed our twenties, I gave my kids my thirties, and as I prepare to enter a new decade of my life this month, I'm glad I made the choices I did. I have a successful business that I can focus on from 8 AM to 3 PM every day AND I have two happy, well-adjusted kids because I wasn't trying to do it all. Thanks so much for helping all families everywhere who choose to follow your wisdom!<br /><br />Rachel<br />
Staff
2018-01-10T18:59:00Z
I Refuse To Compromise My Values
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Refuse-To-Compromise-My-Values/-17671844617059836.html
2018-01-09T18:59:00Z
2018-01-09T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I was born to a teenage mother who did the right thing at nineteen years old and married my biological father, becoming a stay-at-home mom and thus creating as stable and happy a home life for me as she possibly could. She's been a devoted listener of your program since around the time I was born, and my parents are still happily married to this day.<br /><br />I'm now 29 years old and single. I'm beginning to lose hope of ever finding a "<em>real man</em>" like my father. He has always taken care of his family, never shying away from his responsibilities and duty to protect us. I've never had unprotected sex, never been a "<em>shack up honey</em>," never had a child out of wedlock, and I could never, ever imagine being the sort of woman who would have her unborn baby "<em>sucked into a sink</em>." <br /><br />Sadly, I've only encountered losers who have no respect or value for women, because they've become used to getting everything for free. You're right - men don't value what they don't have to work for. I wish more women would listen to you and follow your advice because so many are out there screwing things up for themselves and their children and for women like me. Why ANY woman would settle for being "<em>disposable</em>" is beyond me. <br /><br />I would have been completely lost if my parents hadn't had some sense of morality and married at the time they knew they were going to be parents. It breaks my heart, but I won't compromise my values and neither should anyone else. If I end up not finding a real man, I'll make the best of my life with friends and hobbies and a dog, but it's no substitute for a real family. Thank you, Dr. Laura for being a tower of strength and a voice of conviction in a sea of scum. I hand out your books to friends and family every chance I get!<br /><br />Kerry<br /><br />
Staff
2018-01-09T18:59:00Z
A Moment I Will Always Cherish
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Moment-I-Will-Always-Cherish/-757565546404969180.html
2018-01-08T18:59:00Z
2018-01-08T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am a husband, father, and grandfather, married forty-three years to an amazing and wonderful woman. We have four grown children, all married, and eleven grandchildren - ten granddaughters and one grandson. <br /><br />Last week, my son and I and his son (our only grandson) were taking some <em>"guy time"</em> and went to our cabin for a day - it's a two-hour drive. My son talked to me about the advice I had given him as a young man 20 years ago that I wanted to share with you now. I had told him to observe what other people do and the consequences of their actions. I suggested he pay attention to what works and what doesn't, so he wouldn't have to repeat the same mistakes to prove they didn't work! He said to me, <em>"It made me look at the bigger picture rather than at the moment. It was the best advice you ever gave me."</em><br /><br />I've listened to your program and hear over and over again your frustration with different people making the same mistakes and bad choices, especially when they have no good reason for doing so. Why does generation after generation do that? Our job as parents is to prepare our children to be adults and to help them learn to make decisions on their own and to point out the pitfalls of not making good decisions. They just need to learn to connect the dots. As a father, I just wanted to hug my son when he told me about the best advice I gave him, but I was driving! Still, it's a moment I will cherish.<br /><br /><br />Nelson<br />
Staff
2018-01-08T18:59:00Z
Marriage & The Importance of Forgiveness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Marriage--The-Importance-of-Forgiveness/195280265748692723.html
2018-01-05T18:59:00Z
2018-01-05T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />A very important part of marriage is forgiveness and making sure that all differences are settled between you and your spouse. <br /><br />My wife passed away in September, and I want to share with you our last conversation before she went to sleep that night. She had gone to bed while I went to shower. Upon my return, I found her wide awake, which was unusual for her. As I entered our bedroom, she looked up at me and said: "<em>I love you</em>." I hugged her and said "<em>I love you too</em>" and got in bed. <br /><br />She died around 3 AM that next morning. I am so thankful that our last words were sweet words, else I would have to be eating bitter ones now. It pays to have all differences settled before going to bed at night or before leaving for work. One never knows but those last harsh words will be what you will have to live with the rest of your life.<br /><br />Ronald<br />
Staff
2018-01-05T18:59:00Z
Finding A Way For My Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finding-A-Way-For-My-Family/-976710271540233035.html
2018-01-04T18:59:00Z
2018-01-04T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Thank you for telling moms they can't have it all, at least not at the same time. Twenty-nine years ago, I walked away from a fast-track, financially rewarding career path to stay home with my four children. My colleagues and boss were shocked. Some offered to find me a different daycare, and others told me I was crazy and would never find another job like that.<br /><br />I was home for nine years and they were the best years of my life. After I returned to part-time work, well after the kids were in school, my husband and I worked together to juggle our schedules so that one of us could be with the kids. We never had to put them in daycare or after school care. I am now 66, have become a senior executive at the very company I left, and am making more money than I ever dreamed of. My kids are well-adjusted and productive adults and my husband and I have the relationships with them and each other I hoped to have at this stage of life. I am proof positive you can have it all. You just can't have it at the same time.<br /><br />We found a way to do what was important to us. We didn't have fancy vacations or cars, but that made us closer together because we were working toward a shared commitment to our family. In some ways, I'm living my life in reverse, because now it doesn't matter if I work twelve hours a day, but it would have mattered big time back then! I am so thankful I did not miss out on what I could have never gotten back. Work will always be there. Thank you, Dr. Laura, for encouraging and supporting mothers to buck today's expectation that careers are the most important thing. You and I know better!<br /><br /><br />Mary Anne<br />
Staff
2018-01-04T18:59:00Z
I'm Single And Proud Of My Traditional Values
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Single-And-Proud-Of-My-Traditional-Values/124505390434343823.html
2018-01-03T18:59:00Z
2018-01-03T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I talk about your show at work so much that my co-workers refer to you as my girlfriend! I'm 30 years old, born and raised in the Midwest. I'm single with no children and hold on to the traditional values that I was raised with. You are refreshing to listen to as an advocate for personal responsibility and morals in an age when snowflakes are perpetually offended, and where shacking up seems to be the norm. I appreciate your views on stay-at-home moms and private schools. I'm a product of both and I think I turned out okay. My parents raised three kids and none of us is a snowflake. There are no limp dicks or limp chicks in my family either. <br /><br />While I'm not a teacher or a psychotherapist, I can tell which of my coworkers were put in daycare as children, as they're insecure and they compete for attention from our boss and other leaders in the company and show little or no regard for their peers. If I find "Miss Right" and we have a family, be assured we will do the right thing and love and care for our kids at home and not outsource our responsibilities and obligations to some strangers who do it because they are paid. <br /><br />Thank you for being a voice for morals in a society that seems to embrace the wrong and shun the right. There are thousands like me in my generation embracing morals and learning from the mistakes of generations past. Keep up the good work!<br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Zach<br />
Staff
2018-01-03T18:59:00Z
Reminders That I Did The Right Thing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Reminders-That-I-Did-The-Right-Thing/177298090825935785.html
2018-01-03T18:59:00Z
2018-01-03T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I attend a 45-minute workout class at my local YMCA a few times a week. After my most recent workout, I picked up my kids from the Y's playroom. There was a small book fair outside the adjoining preschool/daycare. We stopped to admire and read some of the books.<br /><br />As I was reading to my little ones, a very well-dressed mother and her three-year-old son who was clutching a toy airplane hurriedly walked by us. The mother dropped her son off at the daycare, and he immediately started screaming "<em>Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!</em>" but she turned around and walked out the door with a look on her face that said, "<em>he'll get over it.</em>" I don't think she even stopped long enough to kiss him on the head goodbye. The little boy stood in the doorway of the daycare screaming for his mother, and not one person from the daycare came to console him or distract him or do anything for him. He did this for at least ten minutes. It was heartbreaking.<br /><br />I used to be a working mom, but thanks to you, I quit that chaos. Witnessing this incident was a further reminder that my husband and I made the right decision. Thank you for giving me back the best years of my life and more importantly, giving my kids their MOMMY back. You are a light in the darkness. Keep it up.<br /><br /><br />All the best,<br /><br />Kathy<br /><br /><br />Remember, all of you can send me "<em>letters</em>" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-01-03T18:59:00Z
Giving Credit Where It Is Due
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Giving-Credit-Where-It-Is-Due/84724759401642034.html
2018-01-02T18:59:00Z
2018-01-02T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I want to give credit and honor to my youngest daughter and her husband. She's been a stay at home mom to two boys from day one, even though it has been a struggle financially. My other two daughters and I jumped right in without hesitation to be a support whenever they needed us. From financial support when they couldn't quite make ends meet to driving five hours or taking a five-hour flight, we came when they needed us just to give them a break or a much-needed date night. <br /><br />Why did we do this and still do it? Because we've seen how well-adjusted, secure and loved their boys are. My daughter has taught them so much, from reading, math, science to social skills. I constantly tell her that the best gift she could give them is to being there every day and loving and caring for them. My son-in-law is one of the hardest working men I know. He is 100% involved with the boys when he gets home, no matter how many hours he has worked. He enjoys cooking, so he prepares most meals for the family, and never seems too tired to play with the boys or take them on adventures. <br /><br />I know sometimes my daughter feels alone, but I know there are tons of stay-at-home moms out there that are also doing an awesome job taking care of their families. Thank you for being an advocate for kids and stay-at-home moms. They need our support, love, and encouragement. I sleep well at night knowing my grandsons have parents who are willing to sacrifice for their kids.<br /><br />Phyllis<br />
Staff
2018-01-02T18:59:00Z
Making the Necessary Changes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-the-Necessary-Changes/-303269226192420850.html
2017-12-15T18:59:00Z
2017-12-15T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I started listening to you back in 2004 as a truck driver, because there was nothing else good on the radio. I laughed at your advice to listeners until one day, you had a caller who was faced with the exact situation I was in (except she was the woman in the relationship and I'm a man) -- she was shacking up with a nobody who had no future and she was basically an unpaid whore who he happened to feed.<br /><br />I learned a lot about myself that day, and how I disrespected the women who were in my life. I was not an admirable man. <br /><br />I'm still a truck driver. I bought SiriusXM just so I could listen to your show. Since the day I heard that caller, I've been single and abstinent. I'm looking for the right woman, but until she comes around, I now treat women like people, unlike how I used to treat them. I'm very ashamed of who I was.<br /><br />Without you, I doubt I would have made this change. Thank you for saving my life and helping me make a complete turnaround.<br /><br />Avery<br />
Staff
2017-12-15T18:59:00Z
Teaching My Little Man The Value of Hard Work
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teaching-My-Little-Man-The-Value-of-Hard-Work/591268998272696825.html
2017-12-14T18:59:00Z
2017-12-14T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I work in education and my job allows me to work from home. My son is six years old and in the first grade. Every day, when he comes home from school, he sits down with me and does his homework while I finish up my work day, and then he reads to me for twenty minutes. In the mornings, when I drive him to school, we practice his spelling words. We do this every day like clockwork and he does not even ask to go play with his friends until his homework is done. This allows us to be together while he works so I can help him if he needs it, and he feels very grown up because we are both "working." Once he's met his responsibilities, he can play for the rest of the afternoon and evening or just be able to enjoy his time without having homework hanging over his head.<br /><br />Even in first grade, he is a very good student and he is learning habits that he will hopefully carry all through his schooling years. You taught me the value of this when you mentioned an article that compared students in Asian countries to American students. The big difference was that in Asian countries, students worked on their schoolwork while parents were nearby, while American students tended to go to their rooms to do homework, where there is no help or supervision, and there are many other distractions.<br /><br />Amber <br />
Staff
2017-12-14T18:59:00Z
Adjustments Of The Stay At Home Mommy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Adjustments-Of-The-Stay-At-Home-Mommy/-759082315115126619.html
2017-12-13T18:59:00Z
2017-12-13T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />I had a stay at home "aha" moment when my first child was about a year and a half old. I was teaching on a short-term contract, had a miscarriage, and my husband's work situation meant I was single parenting most of the time. I found myself becoming more and more short-tempered with my toddler. <br /><br />One day, over the simplest of things, I felt such a quick flash of temper that it frightened me. I was a hair trigger away from hitting my son! I didn't act on the anger, but it scared me terribly that I was in such a "head space" that I could have done that. That's the day I told my husband that we had to change the way we were living our lives. We moved into a much smaller house in the city where my husband was working, and I became a stay-at-home mom. It was the best decision we ever made.<br /><br />I feel so grateful for having had the opportunity to be my kids' mom, and to have been a part of making them into really wonderful young people. The sage advice and clear communication approach you model on your show has influenced my parenting and I'm thankful to be a listener. <br /><br />Keep on talking, and I'll keep on listening!<br /><br />Best wishes,<br /><br />Kylie<br />
Staff
2017-12-13T18:59:00Z
My Husband, My Rock
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husband,-My-Rock/-357120128605476054.html
2017-12-12T18:59:00Z
2017-12-12T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />My husband and I got married when we were 21 and he enlisted in the Marines. We only saw each other for 21 days in the first 18 months of our marriage. In those 21 days, I got pregnant, and it definitely wasn't planned. We had our second child quite quickly after that. With the stress of the military, being young, having no clue about marriage, and two young kids, our marriage was not very good by the time our kids were 4 and 2 years old. <br /><br />By this time, my husband had left the military and was traveling for work. I was lonely with two toddlers and a husband who was always gone, so I started listening to talk radio and found you. You and your advice changed my outlook on my marriage, and slowly our marriage began to change. I now really do wake up every day and do something to make my husband happy that he's married to me!<br /><br />We've now been married for 23 years, and our kids are in college. I wanted to thank you for your advice, because without you, I'm sure our marriage would have never survived. It's not perfect, but by applying your advice, our marriage has grown into something beautiful that has withheld the test of time. My husband is my rock. I have been diagnosed with a debilitating disease in recent years, and my husband has taken wonderful care of me and our love has grown even more. Thanks for helping me learn how to nurture a marriage into something wonderful. <br /><br />Cora Lynn<br />
Staff
2017-12-12T18:59:00Z
Work...Work...Work
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Work...Work...Work/-166060709307143996.html
2017-12-11T18:59:00Z
2017-12-11T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />I'm a proud stay-at-home mom to three children. My mother was a stay-at-home mom too. She was there for me every single day. She saw me off to school and was there when I got home. She made our house into a beautiful home, and took great pride in making our life the best it could be. I often reflect back on my childhood, because I want to have the same home for MY family. <br /><br />When I was a teenager, Mom started to work from home. She did not divert from her family and we still had a warm, welcoming place to live. Years went on, and Mom still worked from home; Dad retired and she still worked from home. Then Dad passed away, and she still worked....from home. <br /><br />Now, after many years of spending her days at home, I am thrilled to say that my Mom is venturing out and starting her first job outside the home in more than 45 years! She has shown me that you're never too old to get out there and start something new. I am proud of the woman she is and has always been in my eyes. She is amazing and I thank her for always teaching me and giving me the childhood and life that I have. And Dr. Laura, thank YOU for always reminding us that being home with your children is one of the most important jobs we could have in our lifetimes.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Marcie<br />
Staff
2017-12-11T18:59:00Z
Changing My Ways
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-My-Ways/299423058041414825.html
2017-12-08T18:59:00Z
2017-12-08T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am 32 years old and met my husband when I was 24. We were friends for two years and started dating at 26, got engaged at 27, and married at 28 (can you tell I listen to you?). I remember asking him if he would swim through shark-infested waters to bring me a lemonade, and he said he would do anything for me, and since he owned a boat, he would get me that lemonade faster if I wished!<br /><br />We have now been married 4 1/2 years, and have been through a lot of challenges. We navigated through them the best way we could, but we were young, and unfamiliar territory, so we made mistakes along the way. as we went through this, I began to resent him and become bitter. Our marriage was still good, but it wasn't great, and my unhappiness continued to grow. I spent days, weeks, and months blaming him for my unhappiness. In my mind nothing he did was right, and I found myself snapping at him all too often. I knew something needed to change but I wasn't woman enough to admit that I was the one who needed to change, but I wasn't woman enough to admit that I was the one who needed to change. So, I continued to act live and act like a bitch.<br /><br />One day my husband came to me and told me he was struggling. He was beginning to resent me for my behavior, tone of voice lack of sex, and more. Over the next few days, I processed those words and started listening to you again. I bought "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>" and read it in less than 48 hours. I was APPALLED at my behavior towards the greatest man I've ever known. I made a change that night. Over the weeks I noticed that my husband started to change. We were laughing, happy, and having sex. The problem was never him-it was me. Our Marriage has done a 180, and we are both crazy in love. You and your wisdom has brought us closer and saved our marriage. Thank you for telling it like it really is. <br /><br />Charity<br />
Staff
2017-12-08T18:59:00Z
Finding My Place As 'Mommy'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finding-My-Place-As-Mommy/-380681018709124971.html
2017-12-07T18:59:00Z
2017-12-07T18:59:00Z
<br />At 13, my dad gave me your book "<em>10 Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives</em>." I was very mature for my age, but still didn't know how this applied to me! By my twenties, I was going down a path that I knew was wrong. My husband and I had two kids, I was the primary bread winner, and my husband stayed home because I was a "STRONG WOMAN!" I was more capable than my husband!<br /><br />But then the recession hit, and I lost the business I owned. My husband immediately stepped up as I tag-teamed with him back into the workforce. We worked long hours on opposite shifts so the kids stayed out of daycare. I told my husband about my desires to be a stay-at-home mom, and he told me to do it and we'd figure the money out. But I doubted him and thought he could never do what I, a woman, could do. I always thought I would have to work because I was smarter and better. I was an awful wife.<br /><br />That's when I read "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," and you put me in my place. I cannot thank you enough! I allowed my man to be a MAN, and he did not disappoint. I finally stopped working, and he ended up getting promoted speedily to a position that not only enabled me to stay home, but to homeschool our kids, AND he bought us a new house. All those years, I was the one holding our future back. All those years, I missed precious time with our babies. Now, I cherish every moment, and our marriage is stronger than over. <br /><br />Thanks to you, I subconsciously chose a man who treated me like a princess, even when I treated him like a frog. Thankfully, we both grew into our intended roles and our children see a loving and affectionate marriage. I thank my dad for always listening to you, and I thank YOU for showing me how to be a better mother and wife.<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />Daisy<br /><br />
Staff
2017-12-07T18:59:00Z
Giving Me The Courage I Needed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Giving-Me-The-Courage-I-Needed/233917029471454718.html
2017-12-06T18:59:00Z
2017-12-06T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />My family planned a semi-intervention with my Mom for smoking. She was diagnosed with COPD and this was her last crutch, as she had been a heavy drinker in the past. We considered bringing in a therapist, as we've heard you suggest to others, but my family thought our very introverted mother would not take kindly to a stranger advising her so we decided not to bring one in, but to go ahead with the meeting anyway. <br /> <br />We researched everything we could on smoking cessation, and the physical and emotional struggles she would face. We had the meeting several weeks ago, and she hasn't smoked since!<br /><br />Many years of listening to you gave me the courage to get our family members together to face this head on. We explained our concerns about her quality of life since we had had a family member die of the same thing and it was not pretty. We wanted her retirement to be an adventure and not a struggle for her health. We went over all the different options available, letting her know how much we loved her and wanted her in our lives and not in a hospital bed tied to an air tube. She made no promises that day, but after a few days, she confirmed that she had stopped and was taking it day by day. I had promised her that if she quit, I, a smoker as well, would also quit. Even though we didn't use an outside therapist, I think we made the meeting a success and now my mother and I are two of the many former smokers. Each day we both have a better chance of a healthful life.<br /><br />Terry<br />
Staff
2017-12-06T18:59:00Z
It's ALL I Need
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-ALL-I-Need/-918835637960220607.html
2017-12-05T18:59:00Z
2017-12-05T18:59:00Z
<br />When my husband and I decided to start a family, I worked full time during my pregnancy, squirreling away my paychecks and practicing living on one income, cutting out all frivolous expenses. That practice paid off. I was able to quit my job and stay home full time with our son. My husband worked hard to support us, and he came home at the end of the day to a home-cooked meal and the three of us sat at the table together. <br /><br />Two and a half years later, our daughter was born, and she joined us at the table from the very beginning too. We tucked the kids in at night and had a few hours to ourselves to snuggle and talk to each other as husband and wife. Our kids are now 13 and 10. We still sit down to dinner every night, even when we're busy with activities.<br /><br />Last month we splurged to attend the wedding of my husband's best friend from school. The kids stayed with Grandma and we headed out of town. The bride and groom both have successful professional careers, and so did most of the other guests. After listening to stories of vacations, nannies, housekeepers and personal trainers, I was asked what I did for a living. I said, "<em>I'm a full-time Mom.</em>" Their responses stunned me, but in a good way. Mostly I heard "<em>Your kids are so lucky to have you at home,</em>" or "<em>my husband won't let me be a stay at home mom.</em>" I felt like the most successful woman in the room. I had no idea that these high-powered females would think my job was as fulfilling and important as it actually is. One woman asked if she could stay in touch to pick my brain about being a homemaker because I had inspired her to make the switch. I suggested she read your books and listen to your show too. I'm proud to say I am the housekeeper, full-time nanny, my own personal trainer, a personal driver, teacher, chef, personal shopper and more. Being married to a man who takes care of his family so I can be my kid's mom is all I need to know that we have MADE IT. <br /><br />Sabrina <br />
Staff
2017-12-05T18:59:00Z
I Don't Regret A Moment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Dont-Regret-A-Moment/-617605377749602467.html
2017-12-04T18:59:00Z
2017-12-04T18:59:00Z
<br />I recently heard you talk about older couples holding hands, and it touched me deeply.<br /><br />My husband of 43 years passed away from Alzheimer's three years ago.Our son, who was 30 years old at the time, passed away 13 years ago from colon cancer.Then I got breast cancer and had a double mastectomy.<br /><br />In 2009, our 33-year-old daughter took her life. She had a stroke at 11 months old, a seizure disorder and learning disabilities throughout her lifetime.Then in 2014, my husband passed away.<br /><br />I still have the notes I put into his lunch box the first three years of our marriage. He kept each one. I still have every flower he gave me over the years.We continued to hold hands whether we were home or out in public. His last two years, most of my time was spent with him sitting on the couch, side by side. He wanted me close, so I spent the last two years crocheting over 500 hats and about 3 dozen afghans. I don't regret a moment.<br /><br />I was holding his hand when he passed.<br /><br />I still think it is sweet when I see an older couple holding hands. There is much that goes into a love like that, that survives the test of time. I was blessed to have that kind of life for 43 years. <br /><br />Louise <br />
Staff
2017-12-04T18:59:00Z
No Shack Ups For Us!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-Shack-Ups-For-Us!/328413290024383997.html
2017-11-30T18:59:00Z
2017-11-30T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />I've listened to you for 23 years. We raised our kids by many of your principles and you gave me the courage to be a firm but loving Mom. My daughter called me earlier today and said "<em>Mom, what would you say if I told you my boyfriend gave me an engagement ring?</em>" I answered without hesitation, "<em>if he's willing to swim through shark-infested waters to bring you a lemonade, then I approve</em>." We both laughed, but she said that he is.<br /><br />Her dad and I have been married for 27 years. I stayed home to raise them, and now she chose a young man who has a great job, no debt, his family adores her, and we have known him since he was a toddler right across the street. They match up religiously, philosophically, and even politically. I told both our kids years ago that if they expected us to participate or help pay for a wedding, there would be a reasonable amount of premarital counseling involved. <br /><br />My daughter is not going to shack up (which was another rule for getting our help or participation in a wedding). I couldn't be more proud. Thank you, Mother Laura, for teaching me how to be a good mom! <br /><br />Rhona<br />
Staff
2017-11-30T18:59:00Z
Keeping My Virtue
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-My-Virtue/124567256153790552.html
2017-11-29T18:59:00Z
2017-11-29T18:59:00Z
<br />I first heard your radio show when I was fifteen. I was not allowed to date until I was 16, so I used that year to form more completely what I wanted from potential suitors. I decided to mention right from the start that I was a virgin and planned to remain one until I was married. To my surprise, not a single boy ran from me nor pressured me as our relationship progressed. <br /><br />When I did meet my husband at 21, we were co-boarders in a house off-campus. Once I realized this might become more, I moved out to remove myself from temptation. We had a year of friendship and two years of dating before we married, with my virginity intact. Those first years were sexually challenging for us because I struggled from saying "no" to myself and men to having permission to go wild. It took seven years and two babies before our intimacy finally began to progress. The loving support of my husband helped me to open up to him about my insecurities surrounding sex. Though hard at first, that trust took our marriage to the next level.<br /><br />We've now been married 16 years, have four kids and have the best sex of our lives. We're not as agile as we once were, but the quality of our lovemaking has helped to increase the quantity as well. My husband and I are living out our fantasies on each other, and he runs to get home to me at the end of each work day. Our kids tell their friends how in love their parents are and encourage us to mark "date nights" on the calendar. My story is a testament to how life can be if you establish boundaries for yourself before "<em>real men</em>" even enter the picture. I am thankful that I stumbled upon your radio show 25 years ago.<br /><br />Melanie<br /><br />
Staff
2017-11-29T18:59:00Z
Making Myself The Example My Kids Need
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Myself-The-Example-My-Kids-Need/-203365538213749602.html
2017-11-28T18:59:00Z
2017-11-28T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am a 40-year-old wife and mother of 2, married for 17 years. I've been listening to you since I was 12 (in the car, when my mother was driving). You made an impact on me then, and you continue to influence my life today.<br /><br />My daughters are 10 and 12, and since Day One, I've been a stay-at-home mom. Our girls are growing up with a dad who is the kind of man that I would want them to marry. I also strive to be an example to them of what it means to be a good mother and wife. My husband and I have a great deal of love and respect for each other. We treat each other kindly, and we spend quality time together as a family daily. My husband and I turn TO each other when life gets hard, and we are both "<em>soft places</em>" for the other to land when life knocks us down. We work hard to raise our girls to be kind, well-rounded, confident and happy, and they have never known daycare. <br /><br />My husband makes a modest salary and we do it. We don't have a ton of extra money and we don't live in the most expensive part of town, but we have everything. <br /><br />Kristen<br /><br />
Staff
2017-11-28T18:59:00Z
We ALL Make Mistakes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-ALL-Make-Mistakes/-123443133310437162.html
2017-11-27T18:59:00Z
2017-11-27T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Hello Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've often heard you say that bullying goes on because no one takes a stand and does anything about it. That's not the case for my 16-year-old daughter.<br /><br />Before the holidays, during her math class, the teacher called on a student sitting next to my daughter and asked him to give the answer to the questions posed. When the student got it wrong, the kid sitting in front of him turned around and said: "<em>I don't understand why you're here - you belong in the 'small class' because you're mentally retarded!</em>" Hearing this, my daughter slammed her hand down on the desk and looked the bully in the eye saying "<em>You're not perfect; you make mistakes, too, and I don't want to hear anything come out of your mouth unless it's an apology.</em>" My daughter was sent out of the room, and after a while, the teacher came out and told her that she wasn't in trouble and he was proud of her. That kid had been bullying other students for a while, and teachers had not managed to solve the problem. <br /><br />After my daughter called him out, however, the kid remained quiet throughout the rest of the class.<br /><br />Unfortunately, because bullying is so common these days, this is not the only time my daughter has called out kids when needed. She has more guts than I ever had and when I asked her why she feels the need to speak out, she simply said: "<em>Because bullying is not right and we have to stand up to them.</em>" She is so right, and I'm very proud of her.<br /><br />Shelli<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2017-11-27T18:59:00Z
Marriage At 80
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Marriage-At-80/-233640324571449373.html
2017-11-22T18:59:00Z
2017-11-22T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady who had just married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life and what it was like to marry again at 80. Then he asked her about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director," she answered.<br /><br /><em>"That's interesting</em>," the newsman responded. He decided to ask a follow-up question: <em>"What occupations did your first three husbands have?</em>"<br /><br />She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. A smile came to her face as she explained she married a banker in her twenties, a circus ringmaster in her forties, a preacher in her sixties, and now, of course, in her eighties, a funeral director.<br />The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.<br /><br />She smiled and explained, "<em>I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go!</em>"<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2017-11-22T18:59:00Z
My Son Didn't Have The Newest Toys, He Had Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Son-Didnt-Have-The-Newest-Toys,-He-Had-Me/329011632510830196.html
2017-11-21T18:59:00Z
2017-11-21T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My journey as a single mom began when I was 21. I attempted the college-by-day, working-by-night schedule in order that I could eventually make more money to provide a good life for my son. Deep down, I knew this was wrong, yet I ignored it and "<em>soldiered</em>" on. Then I found you on the radio. After listening for a short while, I quit school, found a part-time job with flexible hours that would match my son's school schedule, and found a cheap place to live.<br /><br />My son never had the latest Nintendo machine. He never had whatever the newest toy was back then. He never had the newest clothes, but he had clothes nonetheless. Sometimes, he didn't have any Christmas presents from me...<br /><br />BUT, he had a mom who drove him to and from school every day. He had a mom who welcomed his friends to come and hang out at our house. He had a mom who had Dr. Laura. And because of that, he had a mom who never dated. And because of THAT, he knew that he was important and he knew that he was loved. <br /><br />There were several people I knew back then who were appalled that I would choose a flexible schedule over a better paycheck. My life while I was "<em>poor</em>" provided me with some of the most wonderful memories I have. Thanks for being there as a mother figure these last 23 years. <br /><br />This year, I married a wonderful man, who I'd known for several years from church. We are a great match. My son is now a grown married man of 27, and next year, I'll be a grandma with a grandpa at my side. Then there will be MORE wonderful memories we get to make. <br /><br /><br />Shannon<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2017-11-21T18:59:00Z
The Special Moments I Don't Regret
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Special-Moments-I-Dont-Regret/404031921757785065.html
2017-11-20T18:59:00Z
2017-11-20T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />At the young age of three, my son was given his first set of Legos. Since the set was well above his age level, I spent a lot of time building and rebuilding with him. Shortly after that time, my son was hospitalized for a time. We bought a complex set of Legos to work on with him in his hospital room. It kept us busy and productive, and my son's love of Legos really took off. <br /><br />Legos went with us to subsequent doctors' visits and occupied many of our days at home. Our family called him a "Master Builder," and he even built the Star Wars Death Star with only minor help.<br /><br />Nine months ago, my son suffered a stroke. The right side of his body was paralyzed for a time, but even in the early days after the stroke, he wanted to build Legos. His love and determination for them was all he needed for physical therapy, and he completely recovered the use of his right hand for eating, drawing, and of course building Legos.<br /><br />My son is now six and in school. I'm sad we don't have as much time to sit on the floor and build, but I feel his love and trust when he asks me to keep him company during the time he IS on the floor with his Legos. I don't know how long my son will remain healthy - we consider each day a gift - but I do know that I have no regrets for the hours I spend sharing those special moments with him.<br /><br />Andrea<br />
Staff
2017-11-20T18:59:00Z
The Value of Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Value-of-Marriage/-768663364278955553.html
2017-11-17T18:59:00Z
2017-11-17T18:59:00Z
Dr. Laura:<br /><br />At the age of 22, I feel like an outcast among young women my age. All I keep hearing is “how can you really know a guy unless you live with him before getting married?” At one point, I would have agreed, but after listening to you now for over a year, I laugh at those who ask me that question. I stand up for my belief that the moment I live with a man is when I have a ring. I want these girls to know that I could make $200 a night having sex with some dude who has no intention of true commitment. <br /><br />I have a boyfriend, and we’ve been dating almost two years. We have never “lived together,” and won’t. When I told him I wouldn’t be a “shack-up,” he was shocked, but once I explained how much I value marriage and would rather have him carry me into our new home with a ring on my finger, he stood by my side. Now he holds my hand in the car as we listen to you together. Please continue to speak up about the importance of women respecting themselves enough to let a man lay down his life for her and commit to her fully. Please continue to be the “bad ass” that you are, reiterating how crucial it is not to make babies with men who are suitable to be fathers. Together, we’ll minimize the negative effect the feminist movement has on young women! Boy, it feels so good not to be one of them!<br /><br />Many thanks,<br /><br />Amanda <br />
Staff
2017-11-17T18:59:00Z
Another Dance with My Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Another-Dance-with-My-Mom/-734327734006796545.html
2017-11-16T18:59:00Z
2017-11-16T18:59:00Z
Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Thank you for doing a guest deejay stint recently on the SiriusXM “50s on 5” Channel. I was listening and dancing to the entire broadcast, which brought me back to my childhood.<br /><br />My Mom had an enormous record collection (mostly of 45s). She would play these records all the time, and she, my brother and I would dance and have a blast. She taught us all the dances of that time. If I didn’t know better, I would swear she chose your playlist. My Mom died of heart disease, when I was 13. I am now 50 years old, so this music takes me back to a happier time.<br /><br />My mother was a stay-at-home mom who put her children before herself, and taught me to do the same. She loved music and shared that love with her children. After her death, whenever I missed her, I would play her records and dance again with her in my mind. So thank you, Dr. Laura, for letting me dance with my Mommy again.<br /><br />Much love and respect,<br /><br />Mary Anne<br />
Staff
2017-11-16T18:59:00Z
Helping Me To Live A Better Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Helping-Me-To-Live-A-Better-Life/937512719007694863.html
2017-11-15T18:59:00Z
2017-11-15T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Three years ago, I was married to a verbally and physically abusive alcoholic. My life was so dark and bleak, I thought the only way out would be the day he would kill me. My best friend told me about your show. I started listening two years ago, subscribed to your podcast and read "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Bad-Childhood-Good-Life-Blossom-Childhood/dp/0060577878/ref=pd_sim_14_4?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=5AYMP1B2WEV8Q312WEE4" target="_blank">Bad Childhood, Good Life</a></em>" and "<em><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/pg/jsp/community/bookdetail.jsp?detID=-125594231062022406" target="_blank">10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives.</a></em>" My friend and I would spend hours talking about your callers and how certain ones applied to OUR lives.<br /><br />You gave me the courage to leave my husband and never look back. The odds were against me, as my parents divorced when I was 13, and my mother set terrible examples for me. She was promiscuous and didn't even want me calling her "<em>mom</em>" in public. She was also an alcoholic. Your wise words helped mold me into the conservative, moral person I am now. Every decision I have made has improved my life. I pay attention to red flags that I never even saw before, and have not dated since the divorce, as I'm still not quite ready to do so. <br /><br />Not only am I alive and happy, but I pass your sage words to family and friends as well. Despite the obstacles I had in my life, I made it!! I was among the small percentage of women who leave abusive marriages for good! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me and so many others.<br /><br /><br />Much love,<br /><br />Tina<br />
Staff
2017-11-15T18:59:00Z
Latch Key Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Latch-Key-Kids/231365509462385352.html
2017-11-14T18:59:00Z
2017-11-14T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Hi, Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Although your long-time listeners already know your stance on stay at home moms, I still hear calls coming in where people are conflicted or not sure if being home to raise their kids is the choice for them. That's why I want them to hear my story.<br /><br />My son recently started kindergarten. It was hard on me knowing I wouldn't be with him throughout the day. On his first day, I reassured him that I'd be there waiting for him when school was out. He enjoyed the day, met new friends, and excitedly told me about his day when I picked him up. Although there was some worry and concern at the beginning of the day for the first week, what was definitely NOT there was fear, tears, screaming, grabbing onto my pant legs, or having teachers rip him from my arms. None of those things were there because my boy trusts me and believes me when I tell him I will be back. <br /><br />There are 19 other kids in his class, and I can tell every single one who has a working parent just by looking at them. They're the ones who are being comforted by the teacher for 15 minutes and sometimes all day months into the school year. These kids are the ones who are heartbroken, waiting at the door where so many times they have been left before. These kids don't believe it when the teacher tells them their parents will be back soon, because it hasn't been their experience. They anxiously look for their babysitters in the afternoon. I sometimes see their parents in the morning, and they complain about how their kid hates school and cries every morning and how it makes them late to work when they take the time to comfort them. <br /><br />As I get in my car to drive home, I'm thankful that I had the wisdom and the responsibility to be the parent my kid needs, because life would be so much sadder if my kid was the one who didn't believe his Mommy was coming back for him.<br /><br /><br />Lacey<br />
Staff
2017-11-14T18:59:00Z
Thank You For Sticking To Your Guns
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You-For-Sticking-To-Your-Guns/787713583487061717.html
2017-11-13T18:59:00Z
2017-11-13T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm a stay-at-home mom of four and am so grateful for the opportunity to be with my kids every day. I'm thrilled that you advocate for women who are moms to stay home and raise their children.<br /><br />I left my teaching career when my first child was born 17 years ago. I can tell you first hand as an educator that parents do their children a huge disservice when they leave them in the hands of daycares. As a reading specialist, I was the one working with the students who came in with many issues, because it was hard for kids to be good learners when they were dealing with so many emotional problems. So thank you for continuing to take a strong stance - and I'm sure the schools thank you!<br /><br />Now I have to go back to my kiddos....<br /><br />Mariana<br />
Staff
2017-11-13T18:59:00Z
I'm Done Playing Referee
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Done-Playing-Referee/637021332217613782.html
2017-11-10T18:59:00Z
2017-11-10T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura: <br /><br /> For as long as I can remember, I have been my parents' therapist. I was the one who fixed any big argument between them, and now I'm a mom of two boys, and a very happy wife to a wonderful man. I put so much into trying to make sure my parents stayed happy and married, however, that I totally breached my OWN vows by putting their "messed up" relationship before my own marriage. <br /><br /> I had an "aha moment" when I realized I actually didn't want to give up the power I had over my parents' relationship, so that's the reason I kept up the betrayal of my own vows. Once I was aware of this, I knew I'd be headed for divorce if I didn't change. So I did a complete 180 degree turn and told my parents flat out that I couldn't be their psychologist anymore and if they couldn't just be my parents without needing my advice, then I would no longer be able to communicate with them. They decided to completely dump me, calling me a "bad daughter." <br /><br /> I'm finally doing the right thing, and boy, has my marriage improved. My husband and I are happier than we've ever been, and I apologized to him for my past behavior. The reason I'm writing is that I came to my revelation by hearing you give someone else in a situation not unlike mine that advice. So I have you to thank for waking me up. I've made peace with the fact that my parents aren't well and aren't a part of my life anymore. They threw out a perfectly good daughter, and I know it's not me - it's them. You showed me the way to handle this. <br /><br /> Needless to say, my husband has quickly become a Dr. Laura fan. You have helped change our lives in a dramatic way, even though you never actually talked to ME on the air. I will be listening forever! <br /><br /> Joely
Staff
2017-11-10T18:59:00Z
Happy Birthday, To The Woman Who Put Me First
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Happy-Birthday,-To-The-Woman-Who-Put-Me-First/-83312269452857532.html
2017-11-09T18:59:00Z
2017-11-09T18:59:00Z
<p> </p>
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I want to take some time to praise my mom, Amy, who listens to your show faithfully. She had a birthday recently, so I'm hoping this letter comes as a "<em>late birthday</em>" surprise for her. <br /><br />My mom is a stay-at-home mom. When I was really young, she used to be in real estate and I always wondered why she quit. Now that I am older, I know the reason is that my twin and I were a huge handful (and still are). We are teenagers, and since we're still not old enough to drive cars, she has to take us to all of our extracurricular activities. I know we are a pain, but she still loves us dearly and keeps her patience most of the time. When she doesn't, you really can't blame her. She is the most wonderful woman, and I don't seem to appreciate her enough, so I feel that writing this letter is a grand gesture that would show her in a small way the extent that I love her. <br /><br />She is the best mom I could wish for and puts much and time and effort into making me happy and comfortable. So, I think it would be amazing if you could read this letter on the air. Mom, I love you. And thank you, Dr. Laura, for giving her something of quality to listen to during all of the hours she spends in the car with us.<br /><br />Olivia</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-11-09T18:59:00Z
Trying To Be The Wife He'd Like To Come Home To
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Trying-To-Be-The-Wife-Hed-Like-To-Come-Home-To/285225426591355396.html
2017-11-08T18:59:00Z
2017-11-08T18:59:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dr. Laura:<br /><br />This afternoon, I started your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>," and oh, my goodness! Before I even got to the first chapter, I felt like I needed a break. It hit me just how selfish I have been in my marriage and how often I put my husband and his needs on the back burner. <br /><br />In the book, the conversation you had with the woman who didn't cook "<em>real</em>" meals for dinner really hit me hard. Though I do cook often, I neglect my husband's lunch. I have always made it HIS problem to feed himself for that meal while at work. I'm honestly a little nervous to continue the book because I know there will be more blind spots I will be forced to face. <br /><br />I will say that my husband will be pleasantly surprised to see he has a home-cooked meal, packaged and ready for him to take to work tomorrow, and I'm about to boil some eggs for his breakfast. I know it's a little soon to become a raving fan considering I haven't even finished the first chapter, but I really felt the need to reach out and thank you for holding wives like me accountable. I look forward to continuing to make changes to better fill my role as wife and mother.<br /><br />Emily</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-11-08T18:59:00Z
It's The Only Way to Go
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-The-Only-Way-to-Go/440867651196923142.html
2017-11-07T18:59:00Z
2017-11-07T18:59:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dr. Laura:<br /><br />For those who say they "can't afford" to stay home and raise their kids, I want to share my story. We arrived in the USA as immigrants in 1984, with three kids, $4000 in the bank and a dream. Ultimately, we had seven kids, and my husband worked sometimes six days a week so I could stay home with them. I volunteered at their school for 20 years and I'm now free to be a grandmother and help them with THEIR kids, because my husband made sacrifices to allow me to stay home and raise them.<br /><br />We shopped at thrift stores, got hand-me-downs from anyone who gave them, and managed to have several very frugal religious Jewish weddings, bat and bar mitzvahs. We had only one car, and if I wanted to use it, I had to take my husband to work and pick him up at the end of the day. We never had anything extra, and we pinched every penny, but in the end it was worth it.<br /><br />A number of years ago, my husband got a great job with benefits he never had before, and he paid off our debts and our mortgage. A year ago, he bought us a second house, which we rent out. We came here with nothing, but after forty years of marriage, setting priorities that put family first, and never spending anything more than we could afford, we now are comfortable. I am so proud of my husband, I could burst! Our kids have thanked us, and most are stay-at-home parents (or they married one), and we couldn't be happier. I wanted to make sure your listeners knew that there is always a choice to stay at home. It's not easy, and you may sometimes wonder if you're doing the right thing, but in the end, it's the only way to go.<br /><br />Susan</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-11-07T18:59:00Z
Adjusting to My New Values
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Adjusting-to-My-New-Values/929694630433055591.html
2017-11-06T18:59:00Z
2017-11-06T18:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm a recovered "<em>unpaid whore</em>." I'm 27 years old and have had to change my social circle entirely after moving out of my boyfriend's apartment. I decided I need to hold myself to a higher standard!<br /><br />Many of my acquaintances have questioned my decision to no longer live with a man before marriage. They tell me "<em>shacking up</em>" would increase my chances of the marriage actually lasting! These are the same people who think that sleeping around with men after the third date is okay, and women who put their kids in daycare should be praised. I think society has lost its marbles.<br /><br />Although at times I do get discouraged with dating because the men I'm meeting expect sex after a month of seeing each other, and TRY to treat me like the other unpaid whores, I know having morals and values is the most important thing. So, cheers to the women going against the pack of cheap sex, daycare, and dating mamas boys. I'll continue to hit the gym and focus on the activities and people who really matter.<br /><br />Without you and my parents voicing opinions against my living with a man before I was married, I would be like the rest of my feminist generation. Thank you for being a voice of reason.<br /><br />Muriel</p>
Staff
2017-11-06T18:59:00Z
A Good Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Good-Marriage/-898839854625108605.html
2017-11-03T17:59:00Z
2017-11-03T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I married my second husband 17 years ago. We had both been married and divorced and we each had children who were adults before we started dating. Before we met, I had been divorced for six years and was happy with my life. Since I was not needy to have a man in my life, I didn't lower my standards. When we were introduced by a mutual friend, I was still full of distrust and suspicion which I'd carried over from my previous marriage. But, as he would say to me, "<em>I'm not your ex-husband</em>" and he hung in there with me. <br /> <br />After dating for 18 months, we went to three months of premarital classes and also saw a counselor because everything was going so well, we couldn't believe it could be this good! Seventeen years later, we're more in love than ever, and I feel cherished. I also let him know how much I love him.<br /><br />Earlier this year, I was told I needed a kidney transplant, and my husband was a perfect match. He told me he considers it an honor to be my donor. <br /><br />A good marriage is a piece of heaven on earth. For your listeners, please be patient and don't lower your standards - there are good men out there and you will not be sorry if you take your time!<br /><br />Priscilla</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-11-03T17:59:00Z
Our House Is A Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-House-Is-A-Home/-884480849178999072.html
2017-11-02T17:59:00Z
2017-11-02T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband and I have one son who is now 15. We decided when he was born that I would be a stay-at-home mom and my husband would work. I loved every minute of being home with my son. When he was three, however, my husband asked me to go back to my teaching career, so he could work part-time in the evenings. I agreed.<br /><br />But three months into that school year, my husband got an offer for a different part-time job with hours during the school day. He really wanted that job and suggested I could bring our son to my school's "pre-school" several days a week when he had to work. I reluctantly agreed. That was the most stressful year of my life. Our son did not like the preschool. He refused to talk there and would kick his chair and not nap.<br /><br />I quit my teaching job after that school year, and my husband's part-time job turned into a full time one. I again got the joy of being a stay-at-home mom. I did return to teaching when our son was in the second grade, but during that time, it was hectic and no one was making our house a home. My husband retired two years ago and now he's a stay-at-home dad. He's there when our son gets home from high school, and he helps him with his homework and makes us dinner. <br /><br />Looking back, I see how stressful our lives were when we were both working. Although teaching hours are only seven hours a day, there are always papers to correct, lesson plans to write and more. Today, my husband and I are much happier, and our house truly is a <em>HOME</em>. Thank you for continuing to look out for the best interests of children.<br /><br />Janine</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-11-02T17:59:00Z
Putting The Needs Of My Children First
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Putting-The-Needs-Of-My-Children-First/-29930591571239426.html
2017-11-01T17:59:00Z
2017-11-01T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm a return listener to your program after going through my second divorce. I learned that this time, I would remain without a companion as I raised my children as a single father. There's no drama except for the usual <em>"kid-i-</em>tude," since they think they know everything! Remaining alone has allowed me to totally focus on nurturing and guiding my children. <br /><br />I have two children attending college and one daughter who has two more years of high school left. I plan to remain without a partner until my last one is up and out, so that daughter can learn and understand that there is no need for drama while focusing on a goal. I'm really proud of my family, but I have to thank YOU, Dr. Laura, for what I've learned from your on-air wisdom of putting the needs of your children first.<br /><br /><br />Everett</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-11-01T17:59:00Z
The Rough Road Of Infertility And What I Learned
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Rough-Road-Of-Infertility-And-What-I-Learned/-269719939465361386.html
2017-10-31T17:59:00Z
2017-10-31T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Many years ago, I suffered with infertility and had several miscarriages. As painful a time as that was, I grew a lot and learned several things I want to share. First, one time I was at the fertility clinic where I was a patient and there was another woman there to start treatment after her <strong><em>eighth</em></strong> miscarriage! As I listened to her cry with desperation for a baby, I had an epiphany. She wanted to have a BABY; I wanted to have a FAMILY! There's a big difference! I left the clinic, went home and told my husband that I didn't want to continue further treatment, and I wanted to start the adoption process. He wholeheartedly agreed, and three months after we began the process, we welcomed a baby boy into our home. Six years later, we adopted another baby boy. They're now 23 and 17, and I never missed being pregnant or giving birth (and people have always asked me that question).<br /><br />Second, my husband and I agreed I would be a stay-at-home mom. Once our first baby arrived, I knew there was no better place to be than home with him every single day. Moms who think that it's the quality time and not the quantity of time could not be more wrong. As my kids grew up, I found the hours of 5 PM to 8 weren't always their best times or mine. But I'd had all day to be with them to experience the hugs, cuddles, stories, walks, bike rides and more. It was during those times I got to witness my son picking me dandelions that we put into a fancy vase, a hug and kiss just because he loved me, reading to me at nap time and being proud because he'd read the book "<em>all by himself</em>" even though it may have been upside down! These are not the kind of things that you can schedule or create between the hours of 5 to 8 pm. They happen spontaneously and you actually have to be there to see them and participate. Keep fighting the good fight!<br /><br />Lori</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-10-31T17:59:00Z
Growing Up In This Generation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Growing-Up-In-This-Generation/456737409094615236.html
2017-10-30T17:59:00Z
2017-10-30T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />As a 27 year old born smack in the middle of this "self-esteem" and "participation trophy" era, listening to your program since I was a teenager has really made me examine how I was raised - how my parents, teachers, coaches and other important people interacted with me as I transformed into an adult. <br /><br />I was always told how smart and wonderful I was. Consequently, I've spent most of my life doing anything within my power to avoid failure and risk. In my head, I thought if I were so smart and wonderful and innately capable of anything, then there must be something terribly wrong if I CAN'T do something. This is the lasting damage unnecessary praise and participation trophies can cause.<br /><br />I've spent the last two years not dating, going to counseling and really trying to get myself to be the man I want to be before I choose someone to spend my life with and start a family. There have been some hard things to overcome, both because of my own mistakes and because I grew up in this "interesting" generation. That's why I want to thank you for the huge impact you've had on me - mostly in helping me realize what is really important and what really matters if I want to leave a positive imprint on this world.<br /><br />Much love,<br /><br />Bernie</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-10-30T17:59:00Z
Becoming A United Front
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Becoming-A-United-Front/-789412612018009042.html
2017-10-27T17:59:00Z
2017-10-27T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When my girls were young and got into arguments that they couldn't resolve by themselves quickly, I would hand them both a brush and Ajax household cleanser. They knew what that meant: they had to go to their bathroom and scrub the shower and toilet TOGETHER until it passed my inspection OR until they were friends again. <br /><br />Very quickly, they had to become a united front against Mom. They knew their cleaning job would never pass my inspection, so they HAD to make up and be friends. If they were stubborn and took longer to makeup, I still got a cleaner bathroom out of it! <br /><br />I have to say, they always came out giggling, and before I knew it, they always worked out any differences quickly, because they didn't want to see me coming into the room with my brush and Ajax. <br /><br />Dottie</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-10-27T17:59:00Z
My Most Important Job
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Most-Important-Job/145260504681365277.html
2017-10-26T17:59:00Z
2017-10-26T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Recently, my six-year-old son was upset, because I punished him for misbehaving. I heard him say under his breath "<em>I am so horrible</em>." This shocked me, scared me, and shook me to the core. I asked him why he would say that, and he responded: "<em>because I never do anything right!</em>"<br /><br />Immediately, I saw what I had done. I have been too stressed with work - always trying to stay a day ahead of everything. I only work while he is at school in first grade, but when he is home, I'm too preoccupied with thinking about work that I fail to listen or even talk to my son. I make twice the money my husband does, and I always used my flexible schedule, weekly housekeeper and waking up at 4 AM to address daily chores as an excuse to keep working. NO MORE! I will not have my child believe he is horrible because his parents are too busy to listen to him, work with him or play with him.<br /><br />I quit the job this morning, first thing. And I told my son before he went to school that, from now on, my job would be the most IMPORTANT job - being his MOM. I don't think he quite understood, but I am done with work, and I plan to spend the rest of my time with him.<br /><br /><br />Kara</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-10-26T17:59:00Z
Learning How To Love, Care & Show Appreciation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-How-To-Love,-Care--Show-Appreciation/-545905319367435431.html
2017-10-25T17:59:00Z
2017-10-25T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Many years ago, you changed my life. I was an outside salesman, driving from account to account. I listened to you every day. When you took calls from people and helped them with their relationships with their spouses, you would say something like "<em>put on a nice outfit, have dinner ready, hand them their favorite drink when they come home, and ask yourself what could you do to make their life better today?</em>" Thanks to you, I've been doing all of those things and more for the last eighteen years for my spouse.<br /><br />After everything my spouse does for me, I always look for more things to do for him. He works every day, puts a roof over our heads, puts food on the table and is saving not only for his retirement but for mine. You've taught me how to love, care for and show appreciation for the most important person in my life. I will forever be in your debt and I am so grateful for you. Thank you.<br /><br /><br />David</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-10-25T17:59:00Z
My Dad Put Me First
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Dad-Put-Me-First/-481205046178575963.html
2017-10-24T17:59:00Z
2017-10-24T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've heard you tell divorced parents many times that they shouldn't date or remarry until their kids are up and out. I wanted you to know how great that advice is from the kid's perspective.<br /><br />My mother was an alcoholic, and I moved in with my father when I was eleven years old. They had divorced when I was 2. As a girl, going through some things with my dad like starting my period or getting my first bra were awkward and embarrassing, but my dad never dated or remarried until after I was in college. He was always there, eating dinner with me every night, and he knew my friends' names and what I thought about them, and my dreams and plans for the future. We even listened to you when he would drive me around town! Without him, I don't know how I would have grown up or who I would be right now. We have a great relationship now, and even when his new wife aggravates me, I bite my tongue and get along with her because I love my dad and don't want to create drama for him. <br /><br />I had a real man as a father, and I've found one to marry now, so they do exist, although they ARE hard to find. I know it must be hard taking on other people's problems all the time, but you do it with grace, courage, and frank honesty, and I have total respect for you. <br /><br /><br />Aurelia</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-10-24T17:59:00Z
The Cure For Thinking That Daycare Is A Good Option
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Cure-For-Thinking-That-Daycare-Is-A-Good-Option/-708762274834294806.html
2017-10-23T17:59:00Z
2017-10-23T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Thank you for letting your listeners know about how detrimental daycare is for children and especially infants. I'm a medical doctor and without one-on-one contact with mothers, this can be very damaging in the brain and neurological development. <br /><br />Every state has different laws about infant to caretaker radios, but even if you took an average of 5 to 1 (meaning 5 infants for every 1 caretaker), that means that every HOUR, your child gets only 12 minutes of attention! One person cannot hold, coo, and give attention to five babies at a time, so they are left in cribs and swings. Caretakers in daycares have a constant day of babies crying - it's not a calm, warm atmosphere, so you have stressed-out workers and stressed-out babies, which isn't great for little nervous systems. Listeners should spend a day in the infant room at a daycare, and they would never leave their child again!<br /><br />I used to do free health screening fairs and went to a neighborhood day care center to let them know about the upcoming event. Six babies were in a room, with one caretaker who was holding a baby. The others were swinging, in a crib or looking into space. One baby in a swing put his arms up to be picked up, but no one was there for him. He wasn't even crying because he had learned that it was futile. That's when I started crying and the owner wondered why. That scene cured me of ever thinking daycare was a good option for anyone.<br /><br /><br />Bree<br /><br /></p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-10-23T17:59:00Z
Staying Strong For Your Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Staying-Strong-For-Your-Children/468891607326188288.html
2017-10-18T17:59:00Z
2017-10-18T17:59:00Z
<p><br />I can't tell you how important your advice to leave the kids out of testifying in court against their mom was helpful to me as I navigated a difficult divorce. So many times, I was faced with dilemmas regarding the behavior in my ex-husband's household going on in the presence of my four kids, but I decided to keep my mouth shut about any of it around my children. They loved their dad, and I wasn't about to rob my kids of a relationship with him. I recall your saying something to the effect that you must show your children you love them more than you dislike their father. If you proceed in any other way, you are turning yourself against your kids.<br /><br />That point stayed in my head, so I showed nothing but amicability toward my ex around the kids even when I didn't want to, and said nothing more than pleasant things about their dad to my children. Thank you for helping me realize that a mature and healthy attitude would help save my relationship with my kids.<br /><br />They're now all young adults, and we have strong bonds that have stayed intact, even though we brought turmoil into their lives. Your words and advice have incredible power, even though some of us (like me) have never called you directly. <br /><br /><br />Violet</p>
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-10-18T17:59:00Z
Time Is Limited
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Time-Is-Limited/646743701718619541.html
2017-10-17T17:59:00Z
2017-10-17T17:59:00Z
<p><br />I am a stay-at-home mom to two boys, aged 10 and 14. Once school started, I kept hearing people say "<em>thank goodness the kids are back in school, right?</em>" Much to their surprise, my answer was "<em>Actually I enjoyed having them home in the summer and we got to do a lot of cool stuff together.</em>" They were completely shocked that I would rather have my kids around that have so much free time while they're in school!<br /><br />Now that my boys are getting older, I know I only have a limited amount of time before they're off to college and out of the house. I don't understand the mindset of having kids if you just want them gone. My boys do well in school and I'm very proud of them, but that doesn't mean I don't miss them when they're in school. I was pressured by my family to enroll them in preschool because I was told they were not going to have any social skills and would have a difficult time making friends if they stayed home until kindergarten. I simply didn't listen to my family, and they were with me all that time. They're actually more confident and secure than the kids who were in either daycare or preschool. I'm glad to have listened to you long enough to have had confidence in the choice I made back then. <br /><br />I will always be listening!<br /><br />Joni</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-10-17T17:59:00Z
Teaching Me What A REAL Man Is
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teaching-Me-What-A-REAL-Man-Is/298574047429512616.html
2017-10-16T17:59:00Z
2017-10-16T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've heard you repeat the qualities of a real man many times in the past 18 years of listening to your show. I was watching a news program last week with my hot stud boyfriend (also known as my husband), and a story came on about a "<em>real man"</em> in the northern California area where there are wildfires who put his family on a rescue helicopter. It could only hold four people, so he put his family on first, and he said he would wait for help to return for him. He told his family that he loved them, and to remember all the good times they had had, and he hoped he would see them soon.<br /><br />The flight crew, as well as the family, did not think they would see this real man alive again. Thankfully, he was still alive and well when the helicopter was able to come back and get him. My husband said he would do the same for me in that situation, and I could see in his eyes that he meant every word. <br /><br />Thank you, Mother Laura, for teaching me what a REAL man is (and thankfully, that's the kind of man I chose!).<br /><br />Shelley</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-10-16T17:59:00Z
The Importance Of Strength Training
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-Of-Strength-Training/-620019361925804044.html
2017-10-13T17:59:00Z
2017-10-13T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I love that you promote strength training for women! I'm a trainer who works with an adult population, and I'm also a strength and conditioning coach for youth athletes at a local high school. I am constantly preaching to people the importance of strength training (especially for women). <br /><br />Sometimes I feel as if we haven't advanced much from the 1980s because women still lean toward cardiorespiratory work and avoid the weights. Many of them still believe those old adages like "<em>you'll get bulky,</em>" which makes me nuts. That's why I love hearing women talk about their strength program. Please continue to do so, as I know you're influencing a lot of women to take a second look!<br /><br />I used to body build and power lift and competed on a national level. Within the last two years, I decided to pick up competitive powerlifting again. I thought you might like to know that as a 55-year-old mother, wife, and grandmother, I currently hold a world record in the bench press for my age group - 176.4 pounds. Unfortunately, I only TIED the deadlift world record at 302 pounds. <br /><br />Thanks so much for all that you do to encourage women to take care of their bodies, and the positive influence you have on so many people, including me!<br /><br />Claudia</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-10-13T17:59:00Z
Get A Ring And A Date
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Get-A-Ring-And-A-Date/110313298780806279.html
2017-10-12T17:59:00Z
2017-10-12T17:59:00Z
<p><br />One of the most important pieces of advice my mom learned from you that she passed along to me was to "<em>get a ring and a date</em>" before moving in with my then-boyfriend. He's now my husband. We're both in our 30s, have been married nine years and have a toddler. We wanted to travel to all 50 states before having children - we made it to 49!<br /><br />My child has never watched TV, been in front of an iPad, or stared mindlessly into a phone screen. Practically speaking, there are far too many other more interesting things to do. Our days are filled with reading, counting pumpkins in the yard, following ants in the dirt, walking, and zooming our endless supply of Matchbox cars on every usable surface. Our child is disinterested in the devices, I believe, simply because he does not see them as a threat. He doesn't see my face buried in a screen and feel the need to fight for my attention and affection. I'm not swatting him away so I can check the latest on social media or check my email for the thousandth time.<br /><br />Also, I thought my marriage was pretty awesome, but after reading "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>," it's now FANTASTIC! My marriage really has gotten better by putting your suggestions into practice.<br /><br />I am really touched by your continued attention to what is right, honorable and good.<br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura.<br /><br />Katy</p>
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-10-12T17:59:00Z
Kicking Into High Gear
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Kicking-Into-High-Gear/406188278488295536.html
2017-10-11T17:59:00Z
2017-10-11T17:59:00Z
<p><br />I am a stay-at-home mom, happily married to my Army husband. While stationed in California, I experienced an extreme amount of stress and ended up gaining a lot of weight. I truly believed I would never again be a size 8. It was a really low point for me.<br /><br />One day, when I was in the park pushing my young son in his stroller, I got out of breath and had to retreat to the house. That was my turning point. So I made the mental decision to kick myself back in gear. I slowly started eating less and moving more. Over the course of five years, I lost 130 pounds! I am almost overwhelmed with my success and regret ever letting myself go in the first place. However, I focus on the fact that I changed my whole life for the better and I don't beat myself up over it. I'm off all blood pressure medication and other health issues have gone away with the weight loss. <br /><br />I'm now active, and play with my grandkids. I play basketball, softball, run, ride my bike and walk whenever possible. If I'm not moving, then I must be sleeping! I want everyone else who may feel like I once did to know that it is not hopeless and not a lost cause! If I can do it, then anyone can, if they're willing to put in the time and effort. <br /><br />Thank you for pushing the fact that in most cases, being overweight is really a choice, and if you put the work in, you can lose all the extra weight. I've heard you say there's no excuse for being obese, and now I know you're right. I am living proof that a total turnaround is possible, and I feel like a brand new person.<br /><br /><br />Jolene</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-10-11T17:59:00Z
Raising Young Men
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-Young-Men/-592961181698816962.html
2017-10-10T17:59:00Z
2017-10-10T17:59:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've heard you speak about how today's society cripples our boys and doesn't teach them anything about what it means to be a man. I'm proud to say my husband and I are a happily married couple bringing up our boys differently. Our boys are young men who enjoy working on woodworking projects and fixing small engine issues with their dad. We call ourselves the "<em>Beaver Cleaver</em>" family of today. We don't permit them access to Facebook and they don't even like video games. I guess we're just old-fashioned. <br /><br />It's a challenge to raise the boys as we are, but we wouldn't have it any other way. They have seen many John Wayne films with their dad and love that time spent with him. Hopefully, they will turn out to be half the man my husband is. He's the husband and father of my dreams. Thank you for your constant reminder that what matters most is keeping our marriage strong and making sure we are our kids' <strong><em>parents</em></strong> and not their <strong><em>friends</em></strong>.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br /><br />Judy</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-10-10T17:59:00Z
No Regrets
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-Regrets/-856538692665032284.html
2017-10-09T17:59:00Z
2017-10-09T17:59:00Z
<p><span><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />26 years ago, my mom worked as a graphic designer at a large greeting card company, and she was pregnant with her first son - me! She had studied art in college and loved working at such a fun, creative company. Even though it was her dream job, she quit after only working there a few years, so she could raise me and the rest of my siblings (who came later). She never looked back and never doubted her decision to stay at home. My dad always found a way to provide for the family. I inherited my mom's artistic talent, and as I was growing up she taught me the tools and principles of design. I then pursued my own degree in art. <br /><br />Then, almost 26 years to the day after my mom quit her job, I was hired at the very same greeting card company as a graphic designer! When my mom meets me at work for lunch, she runs into old co-workers who remember when she was pregnant just before she left. Then I introduce myself as the man she went home to raise, and I couldn't feel more honored to carry on my mom's legacy here at the same company.<br /><br />Many would say that my mom wasted her college degree, but in our case, she invested it over the course of raising me. I'm married to a real woman who plans to stay home with our future kids because we've both experienced first-hand the joys and blessings of at-home motherhood. My mom introduced me to your show when I was young, and I still listen today. Thanks so much for encouraging mothers to actually be mothers! Mine certainly was, and I'm forever grateful.<br /><br /><br />Jonathan<br /></span></p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-10-09T17:59:00Z
Choosing Wisely, Treating Kindly
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Choosing-Wisely,-Treating-Kindly/424311890029937363.html
2017-10-06T17:59:00Z
2017-10-06T17:59:00Z
<p><span><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I have been happily married to the same man for 30 years. We have two grown children. I have been told countless times from family, friends, and acquaintances throughout my married life that I am "<em>lucky</em>" - lucky to have a wonderful husband who still loves and cherishes me after all these years; lucky to have been a stay-at-home mom; lucky to have respectful, caring, loving and well-behaved children.<br /><br />I do have all these things, so while I always agreed with those commenting<br />and was thankful to them, the comments left me feeling somewhat deflated. After listening to you for the past few years, I have been enlightened.<br /><br />I realize I am NOT lucky. I am a woman who has given careful thought to the decisions I made in life. I made a great choice in picking a husband. While we dated, we spent time talking about everything from our dreams, goals, passions, families, traditions, religion, and what we hoped for in our future. I treated and still treat him with the love, respect, and trust he deserves, and I show him that he is special to the family and me. We made the choice for me to stay at home with the children. We planned. We changed our lifestyle so we could live on one salary. Our children are respectful, caring and loving because we chose to be active parents in their lives. <br /><br />I now understand why I used to feel deflated at all those "<em>lucky</em>" comments. Stating that a person is "<em>lucky</em>" implies they didn't have to work hard, make sacrifices and sometimes very hard choices. It strips away all the accomplishment. Thank you for waking me up to the fact that I made specific choices that led to such a good life, and thank you for all that you do.<br /><br /><br />Michelle</span></p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-10-06T17:59:00Z
Forever My Girlfriend
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Forever-My-Girlfriend/-12442529212220889.html
2017-10-05T17:59:00Z
2017-10-05T17:59:00Z
<p><span><br />I was in an unhealthy relationship four years ago, and through listening to you, I was able to see what I knew in my heart all along - that I should get out of Dodge! At the not-so-young age of 32, I was wasting precious time with the wrong guy. I "<em>ran</em>," but it was difficult. Yet through it all, I learned more about myself and reaffirmed what I truly wanted in a man, boyfriend, a husband, father, and friend.<br /><br />Less than two weeks ago, I got engaged to the love of my life. During our first year of dating, I introduced him to your show and shared with him that I really valued your opinion on many important life topics, so he began listening with me anytime we were together on an extended car ride. I've gotten a kick out of seeing how much he enjoys your show and I now suspect he listens on his own when he's not with me! I've known I've picked the right guy, as it's clear we share the same values when it comes to opinions on relationships and family. <br /><br />This weekend when we were talking about the excitement of our upcoming wedding, with a wink, he said: "<em>You know, you might be my fiancée, but you're still my girlfriend!</em>" It sent me into a fit of giggles, and as I put my arms around him, I asked, "<em>Now where would you come up with something like that?</em>"<br /><br />I so happy to have held out for the right guy. I'm also reminded that I have now EARNED the opportunity to get your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>." Thank you for bringing us together on so many levels!<br /><br />Lauren</span></p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-10-05T17:59:00Z
Chaos vs. Stability
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Chaos-vs.-Stability/-476492242284500873.html
2017-10-04T17:59:00Z
2017-10-04T17:59:00Z
<p><span><br /><br />Four years ago, I discovered that my wife had had an affair twelve years before that. I was devastated. I asked her about the affair, and although difficult for her, she told me the truth about it and answered questions I had. I was angry and hurt. <br /><br />I knew I had two choices: I could leave or I could stay. I chose to stay because not only did I love my wife, but we also had a six-year-old daughter at the time. I didn't want to put her through the mess of her parents getting divorced. I also knew through counseling, we could possibly mend our marriage. And we did.<br /><br />We worked on this for over two years and I was able to trust her again. We became better friends, better partners, and better lovers. It turned out to be a decision that I do not regret. Our marriage is stronger now than it ever was. <br /><br />All this happened before I even knew who you were. I discovered you on SiriusXM only two months ago, and now I grin when I hear someone calling you about something similar to my situation, and you flat out tell them to stay if there are kids involved (assuming there's no abuse or addiction). My daughter is now eleven years old, and a bright young lady with a solid future ahead of her. I like to think it's because she lives in a stable family with TWO parents who love her and each other.<br /><br />Regards,<br /><br /><br />Reginald</span></p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-10-04T17:59:00Z
Correcting Myself
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Correcting-Myself/-699942078906970729.html
2017-10-03T17:59:00Z
2017-10-03T17:59:00Z
<p><span><br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've been listening to you for about a year. You're now a voice in my head reminding me to "<em>do the right thing</em>" but also one MORE thing....<br /><br />I am an over-user of the phrase "<em>I just....</em>" You are absolutely correct about what you've pointed out to callers about that phrase, so I am making a conscious effort to remove it from my lexicon. I have one more that I over-use - "<em>I feel like...</em>" I've come to the conclusion that both of those qualifiers are used to soften what I and others are about to say. It's a cop-out. Instead of saying "<em>I feel like....</em>" I'm substituting "<em>I believe</em>," "<em>I think</em>," or "<em>in my opinion</em>." <br /><br />It's not easy to correct a way of speaking that, unfortunately, comes so naturally to me, but now that I'm conscious of it, I'm able to THINK before I speak, and then I replace those vague phrases with others that more accurately convey what I mean to say.<br />Thank you!<br /><br />Vanessa </span></p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-10-03T17:59:00Z
Doing The Right Thing When It Counts
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Doing-The-Right-Thing-When-It-Counts/-322623964166535373.html
2017-10-02T17:59:00Z
2017-10-02T17:59:00Z
<p><span><br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />One afternoon, I was crossing the street to enter the parking garage near my office, when I heard a man screaming. I could tell it was a scream of pain. There was one other guy walking near me, and we both ran up the steps toward the scream. He got to the spot first, and turned to me and said "<em>We shouldn't be here</em>" and started to leave. I, instead, kept going, and that's when I saw four men surrounding a fifth guy who was on the ground. They looked like construction workers and were wearing hard hats.<br /><br />I yelled at the guy "<em>are you okay?</em>" and the four guys said something like "<em>we're just playing around</em>." The guy on the ground said he was NOT okay, and I told the others that I was calling 911 and they better leave that guy alone. I was scared out of my mind. Once the bad guys heard me with 911, they ran to a car and drove off as I read the license plate to the 911 operator. <br /><br />I found out later from the prosecutor when I testified in court that the four guys were from a gang and didn't like the one they were beating up. And the other guy who witnessed the event refused to testify. I was 45 years old and 120 pounds at the time, but I know I did the right thing.<br /><br />I never realized that when you testify, you're not allowed to hear other people's testimony, but a woman who advocated for the victim told me that during his testimony, he said that "<em>the nice lady helped me</em>." While I was on the stand, the four perpetrators were staring me down and trying to intimidate me, but they got convicted anyway. I've never been so scared in my life, but your preaching about how good people must stand up to protect the innocent from evil made me do the right thing.Thanks, Dr. Laura! I've been a listener for over 20 years.<br /><br />Renee<br /></span></p>
Staff
2017-10-02T17:59:00Z
The Privilege Of Being A Stay-At-Home-Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Privilege-Of-Being-A-Stay-At-Home-Mom/-923495379546743265.html
2017-09-29T17:59:00Z
2017-09-29T17:59:00Z
<p><span><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband and I have two kids, the oldest of whom headed off to college recently. When we were newly married, people would ask us "<em>do you want to have kids?</em>" I've realized over the years that that's the wrong question - they should have asked me "<em>do you want to be a MOM?</em>" Having kids is not a goal to be pursued. "<em>Having kids</em>" makes it sound material and dispensable. On the other hand, when asked if you want to be a mom, the question makes you consider whether you have the desire to fulfill a role, be a caretaker, make an investment, be a provider, protector, and be committed to the incessant demands of someone else whether you feel like it or not. <br /><br />The question really implies "<em>are you willing to become more than you currently are?</em>" No one truly understands what it's like to be a mom until you ARE one. The love, exhaustion, joy, sadness, optimism, worry and frustration never end. You can't truly make an informed decision because the depth of your existence can't be explored until you have a child. <br /><br />I am grateful for having had the privilege of being a mom. My heart aches, however, at the realization that nothing I will ever do will be as significant, as meaningful, or as profound as being a stay-at-home mom. I often responded to those inevitable questions about why my kids weren't in daycare with "<em>I don't care if Mother Teresa were looking after my child - it still wouldn't be ME!</em>" <br /><br />Adele</span></p>
Staff
2017-09-29T17:59:00Z
Putting Yourself First
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Putting-Yourself-First/-623653858497354327.html
2017-09-28T17:59:00Z
2017-09-28T17:59:00Z
<p><span><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Last year, I was overextended in most facets of my life - motherhood, wifehood and at work. I knew from listening to you that this was not good for my marriage, family or myself. I tried to "<em>push through</em>" for a while, but that didn't work. <br /><br />Finally, with you on my shoulder, I decided to put first things first and take care of myself for my family's sake and for my well-being. I saw a doctor about my exhaustion, I lessened my working hours and focused more on my husband and children. My doctor came back with a diagnosis - I had intense Lyme Disease! I received treatment, and quit my job to ensure I was well-rested and able to be the best wife and mother I could be.<br /><br />Now, I'm healthy again and happy. My relationship with my husband is the best it has ever been. I'm also really in love with being a Mommy and staying home with my two small children. That decision isn't popular among my millennial age group, but I'm kicking myself for not doing it sooner. Without your urging your listeners to take care of themselves, I might not have seen a doctor and made these choices, especially since my only symptom was of exhaustion. The positive rewards of changing my life have been immense. Thank you!<br /><br />Jeanne</span></p>
Staff
2017-09-28T17:59:00Z
Dating Requirements
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dating-Requirements/863706585148649079.html
2017-09-27T17:59:00Z
2017-09-27T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When I was dating, I used to mention my hopes of being a stay-at-home mom one day. Well, that sent my dates running, because they often assumed I was a lazy gold-digger who just wanted a free ride and to not have to work. It was so disheartening, I wondered if I would ever find a real man who saw the value in it.<br /><br />It wasn't until my 30s that I finally found him. We married and now have two children. He works hard to support our family so I can stay home. Yes, we've had to pick and choose wisely what we spend our money on, but it's so worth it. I get to watch my children's first milestones and laugh and play with them all day long. To earn some extra "<em>mommy</em>" spending money, I make sparkly jewelry while they are napping, and I sell it on Etsy. It's fun and allows me to feel creative. It's also a great way to meditate and de-stress when the long days get hard. <br /><br />I'm so glad I found YOU 15 years ago because you helped me realize how important it was to find a real man who valued his wife raising their kids. If I could give any advice to your listeners, it would be to not waste their time dating "<em>boys</em>," and to keep looking for a MAN. He's out there, I promise! If your dream is to stay home one day, make a point for that to be #1 in your dating requirements. Bring it up early in conversations. After all, the best career of all is being a mommy!<br /><br /><br />Love,<br /><br />Cristina<br /><br /></p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-09-27T17:59:00Z
The Importance Of Instilling Strong Character
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-Of-Instilling-Strong-Character/-484217091783127343.html
2017-09-26T17:59:00Z
2017-09-26T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />At the local YMCA skating rink, my 16-year-old son was skating with his friend, a girl who happens to be African-American. They are not an "<em>item</em>" - they're just friends who were spending time together at the rink. Another guy skated by them and kept making comments under his breath about how the girl was really cute and then referring to the two of them as a couple. Then the guy "<em>shouldered</em>" her as he skated by. He came around again and came up behind them, this time, making a racial slur.<br /><br />Before he could finish his sentence, my boy punched him square in the face....hard. When we were called about the incident, I had my husband go up in person, because he has a cooler head than I do! He arrived about the same time as the other kid's mom. She was livid and acting as if she might want to call authorities on our son. Then my son and his friend told their side of the story to the director of the rink and the other kid's mom, and to her credit, she turned on her kid and lit into him. She made him apologize and told him he was lucky he only got punched once! <br /><br />Our son is about 6 feet now and still growing, but he always defends others. His moral compass is about as well tuned as it gets. You are absolutely correct that the solution to dealing with bullies is one good man or woman standing up to them. My husband and I have tried to model good character for all our children, knowing that we were not just raising boys and girls, but raising men and women who needed to have strong character. We were very proud of our son.<br /><br />Robin</p>
<br /><br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-09-26T17:59:00Z
Between Now & Dead
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Between-Now--Dead/-727280227228059265.html
2017-09-25T17:59:00Z
2017-09-25T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />You may remember me from the June "<em>Pro/Am</em>" hour I did on your program regarding weight loss. At that time, I had lost 35 pounds. <br /><br />I have now reached my personal goal of 50 pounds lost within six months, so I thought I would let you know! I have another seven pounds to go to be within the Weight Watchers' nutritional parameters for height and bone structure, so I signed up for three more months. My plan is to reach their goal by mid-October, maintain for six weeks and become a Lifetime member. I'm confident that I will reach that goal as well because <strong><em>once I decided that health was the top priority for my life between now and dead, I changed my life for the better.</em></strong><br /><br />What I've gained with this monumental weight loss is self-confidence, and I'm finally, truly proud of myself. I remember you saying Dr. Laura that "<em>to gain self-esteem, do something to impress yourself</em>," and yes, I have. This, I know now, is a permanent change and it's left me with a renewed confidence that I plan to finish my degree and write that book I started years ago. I wanted to give you an update on how things have progressed since June. I'll let you know when I reach my FINAL final goal. <br /><br />I must say, life is fabulous these days!<br /><br />Melodee</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-09-25T17:59:00Z
A Moment Of Inspiration
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Moment-Of-Inspiration/-657051937702706581.html
2017-09-22T17:59:00Z
2017-09-22T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I had a moment of inspiration blowing bubbles for my 12-month-old son. When he saw the first batch of bubbles, all he could focus on was where they had disappeared. It reminded me of the metaphor you use with some callers - "<em>driving while looking in the rearview mirror</em>" or hanging on to the past instead of looking to the future.<br /><br />I decided there are two types of people:</p>
<ul>
<li>The ones who look at where the bubbles are coming from with anticipation and excitement and</li>
<br />
<li>The ones, who like my toddler, look at the ground where old bubbles disappeared, still staring long after they are gone.</li>
</ul>
<p>We really do miss out when we keep focusing on something that has happened and gone. And it keeps us from being ready for the things about to come, such as......more bubbles!!<br /><br />On the less serious side, you would have laughed to have seen me waving my arms, trying to get my little toddler's attention as he stared at the ground. He ignored me and kept poking at the soapy watermarks. I gave up for the moment, but I will return with more bubbles to take on another day!<br /><br />Holly</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-09-22T17:59:00Z
Making A Lasting Impression
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-A-Lasting-Impression/-691011104000525176.html
2017-09-21T17:59:00Z
2017-09-21T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I became a stay-at-home mom after several high-profile, deadline-driven, fast-paced careers including being a TV news anchor and reporter and the press secretary for several state senators and a lieutenant governor. <br /><br />I wanted to pass along a tip I use to remind myself how important my CURRENT career is. I often ask myself "<em>in ten years, is anyone going to remember that I delivered them the nightly news?</em>" No. "<em>In ten years, is anyone going to remember that I communicated the 'important' ideas of politicians to the public?</em>" No. "<em>In ten years, is anyone going to remember that I raised two compassionate, productive children?</em>" YES!<br /><br />I recently considered going back to work full-time, as we need a new roof on our house, the entire outside of our house needs to be painted, and we need to repair two bathrooms that are falling apart. We can't pay the thousands required for this on one income. So when I told my children (aged 10 and 6) that I might go back to work, their reaction was "<em>No, Mom. We want you home with us!</em>" So I didn't go back full-time.<br /><br />Until then, I'll stick to being a substitute teacher at our local school district. It's a great way to use my college degree and be home when my children are home. I'm just happy to be doing something incredibly important that will make lasting impressions - raising my two children!!<br /><br />Tawnya</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-09-21T17:59:00Z
There's Cyanide In His Cake
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Theres-Cyanide-In-His-Cake/-646681726450588677.html
2017-09-20T17:59:00Z
2017-09-20T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Hi, Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Many years ago, when my daughter and I were in the car together, you asked a caller if she would eat a piece of delicious-looking chocolate cake if she knew that even one small piece contained cyanide. You then equated that concept to dating relationships and deal-breakers. My daughter asked what cyanide was, and just took it all in when I told her it was a deadly poison.<br /><br />Fifteen years later, this same daughter was engaged to marry a man she'd dated for three years. We loved him, and our two families became close. Then two months before the wedding, she told me she had broken it off. I peppered her with questions, pointing out MY reasons why I thought she was making a mistake, why they seemed perfect for each other and so on. Choking through tears, she then said "<em>Mom, please trust me. There are some personal things I can't talk about yet, but believe me when I say there's some cyanide in his cake</em>."<br /><br />That shut me up for good, and I hugged her, assuring her I would love and support her through this ordeal. She explained the full story when she was able, but at that moment, it was your words to a caller all those years ago that she had remembered and then used to convince me she was doing the right thing. She has since met and married the RIGHT man (who has NO cyanide in his cake!).<br /><br /><br />Warmly, <br /><br />Linda</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-09-20T17:59:00Z
From A Future Stay-At-Home Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/From-A-Future-Stay-At-Home-Mom/-970134021984499077.html
2017-09-19T17:59:00Z
2017-09-19T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Hi, Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm 29 years old and have been married for two years. Like most married couples my age, we constantly receive the question "when are you going to have kids?" I always knew in the back of my mind that I wanted children, but never thought much about it until I started listening to you. <br /><br />I was fortunate to land a job straight out of college that has allowed me to live a very comfortable lifestyle, with many years of great vacations and lots of material goods. My husband and I are proactively working to set ourselves up financially so that I may quit my job when we start a family. <br /><br />I was lucky to grow up with a stay-at-home Mom, and I know many of my good decisions come from having two great parents who were involved in my life. While I have some doubts about leaving my plush job and thoughts of the people who will call me "stupid" for leaving what seems like the perfect career, it is listening to you every day that keeps me focused on what's really important. I just got your book "In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms," and I'm so thankful to have you when I'm doubtful. I know it won't be easy to make big changes, but my kids will know love every day and it will be the most important job I will ever have. <br /><br />From a future stay-at-home Mom, <br /><br />Sophie</p>
Staff
2017-09-19T17:59:00Z
Setting A Great Example
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Setting-A-Great-Example/-946489798732937493.html
2017-09-18T17:59:00Z
2017-09-18T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I grew up in a family that VALUED family. We were homeschooled and spent lots of time with both our parents. My dad taught me how a man should respect a woman. He was playful and loving towards my mother, and I never once saw them fight. They calmly worked through their problems together.<br /><br />All this preparation has been very useful in my adult life. When I was 18, my mother gave me a copy of "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060976497/noxsolutions-20/ref=nosim" target="_blank">10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives</a></em>." Now, at 32, I've found a good man, and we're working together to build toward marriage. He was the first to suggest premarital counseling and he was very willing to read "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Marriage/dp/0061233129/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1505773525&sr=1-3&keywords=The+Proper+Care+and+Feeding+of+Marriage" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage</a></em>" with me. We both bring different strengths to the relationship, and while he isn't perfect, he's perfect for ME.<br /><br />Having nurturing parents who understood their proper and important roles set me up for a lifetime of success. I currently have my own private counseling practice where I do play therapy, parent coaching and work with emotionally and physically abused women. But my extensive education in this area is not what I pull from the most! Rather, it's the examples set by my parents and the ever wise words of you, Dr. Laura that have been most important to me. Thank you always!<br /><br />Becky</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-09-18T17:59:00Z
The Importance Of Raising Your Own Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-Of-Raising-Your-Own-Children/-196357018443062610.html
2017-09-15T17:59:00Z
2017-09-15T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I had a boss who was absolutely desperate to be pregnant. Her expensive fertility treatments weren't working, and to her dismay, I became pregnant. She got past the awkwardness of working with pregnant me and eventually asked me how long I was going to take for maternity leave. She was shocked when I told her I would not be coming back. When I said I wouldn't want someone else to raise my kid, she responded that there were good daycares out there that could be trusted, even after I told her that my friend who worked in a day care was told not to interact with the babies because then they start to expect it!<br /><br />Several weeks later, she mentioned her husband was going on a business trip to China and she would have been welcome to accompany him. She wasn't interested! When I asked why, she said she had to stay home to take care of her dogs!! She said she didn't trust anyone to take care of her dogs as well as she would, saying "<em>just think of all that could happen while I'm gone!</em>" She thought more of her dogs than she would have human children! I hope my comments on daycare have stuck with her as she is now the mother of a six-week-old baby.<br /><br />I would almost certainly be a working mom if it wasn't for you highlighting the importance of raising children and the truths about daycare. <br /><br />Wilma</p>
Staff
2017-09-15T17:59:00Z
Giving Myself Back To My Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Giving-Myself-Back-To-My-Kids/16174945923694745.html
2017-09-14T17:59:00Z
2017-09-14T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm a stay-at-home mom who caught your program at the birth of my fourth child. At the time, I was on maternity leave from a job where I worked 60 hours a week, and I also taught two classes while pursuing a Master's degree program. We had an apartment at my work, a house we bought and an apartment my husband lived in out of town for his work. We were living out of three places at once and life was extremely crazy. We were neglecting everything and were under constant stress.<br /><br />Once I finally quit my job, it occurred to me how much time I had lost with my kids. I've been home almost three years now and life has never been better. I recently turned down a position that would have paid $500 a day but was for seven days a week. Our family would have been completely out of debt had I taken it, but I realized no amount of money was worth sacrificing my children's lives over. We've traveled the country eight times in the last few years, stopping in many states and exposing our children to all the wonders of the world. <br /><br />I would define myself as pretty liberal, but on the home front, I can't imagine not being home with my kids. I know with all my education, my time to shine will eventually come, but right now, I'm shining in my children's eyes and that means more to me than anything else. Thank you for helping to give my kids their mother back.<br /><br />Anne</p>
Staff
2017-09-14T17:59:00Z
Turning To Each Other, Instead Of Turning On Each Other
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Turning-To-Each-Other,-Instead-Of-Turning-On-Each-Other/381525887842783801.html
2017-09-13T17:59:00Z
2017-09-13T17:59:00Z
<p><br />If not for you, Dr. Laura, I would not have known that it is so easy to make my husband happy by being his girlfriend and treating him sweetly. I wouldn't have known to cling together when times are tough rather than fight, argue and compete against each other as my parents did. <br /><br />My parents were not involved in drugs, but I see now that Dad was and is a functioning alcoholic. I felt loved as a child, growing up knowing I would always have food and a house to live in. But it took me until the age of 58 to see that my parents were actually destructive. They are negative and sulk when they don't get their way. They fight and bicker all the time, creating a stressful environment when we visit. I learned something about myself after a particularly awful four-day visit. I was keeping the peace, particularly with Mom. That's when I realized I needed to step up. You're the one who helped me discover that time is too short to waste on people who are constantly negative, who can never get enough attention, who are always the victim, even if they are your parents. You taught me that I can be polite, make sure they are taken care of (but also realize that I don't have to be the caretaker) and end any conversation I have with them if it starts to go badly. <br /><br />I also stopped complaining to my husband over and over about what Mom said or did. I have girlfriends for that. You helped my husband and I raise three children who are responsible people of character. You said not to nag grown children or they won't come to visit, so we don't, and they DO call and visit frequently! Keep up the good work. I'm still listening to your pearls of wisdom and taking notes!<br /><br />Susannah</p>
Staff
2017-09-13T17:59:00Z
Learning How To Take Care Of My Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-How-To-Take-Care-Of-My-Man/-920152635400432123.html
2017-09-12T17:59:00Z
2017-09-12T17:59:00Z
<p><br />My husband and I are both 26 and have been married for a little less than a year. I quickly realized marriage is a lot of work and I wanted to be the best possible wife I could be. I prayed for guidance, and the very next day, one of your YouTube videos popped up on my screen. I was elated to rediscover you.<br /><br />You made me realize that I was already taking my new husband for granted. I am a millennial and grew up hearing all that feminist mumbo-jumbo about how women should be dominant over their husbands if they decide to marry at all. So I immediately purchased "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060520620/noxsolutions-20/ref=nosim" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>," and I now kiss and hug him ten times more, and tell him how much I admire his hard work to provide for the two of us. <br /><br />I learned the easy way how to nourish and take care of my man so that we'll have a long, happy marriage. I only wish my mom would have taken your advice because she and my father recently separated after infidelity on her part. <br /><br />I realize I'm still young, naïve and I have plenty to learn about life and marriage, but you're a saving grace for me. I so look forward to reading all of your other books and listening to your radio program every day. I can't wait to be my future children's mommy, and I love being my husband's girlfriend.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Alberta<br />A happy newlywed</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-09-12T17:59:00Z
Quantity Of Time Vs. Quality Of Time
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Quantity-Of-Time-Vs.-Quality-Of-Time/61494674368809670.html
2017-09-11T17:59:00Z
2017-09-11T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I was recently at the park with my four young children when kids from two daycares showed up. The kids were drawn to us because we had our dogs with us. I saw daycare workers sitting on the park bench with headphones in their ears as they looked down at their phones. They only interacted with the children when they were counting them to make sure they were all there! <br /><br />My dad ridiculed me when I told him I was going to be a stay-at-home mom. He said "it's not about the quantity of time, it's about the quality. If you stay home, you'll never be able to take your kids on vacations or buy them nice things." Still, I was confident in my decision. Both of my parents were career oriented. My mom was so stressed from working an afternoon into night shift that she just shuffled me off to school in the morning and that was my only interaction with her. My father worked during the day and went to school at night, so he shuffled us outside or sat us in front of the TV so we wouldn't bother him when he was studying. So many times I came home from school and there was no one to talk to about my problems. I became a rebellious teenager and attached myself to my friends in a very unhealthy way. I had no respect for my family. I left home at 18 and married an adulterous and abusive man, having four children with him. When his violence turned on our daughter I kicked him out and filed for divorce.<br /><br />My divorce has devastated our children. They will be forever heartbroken because of my actions. Now I work from home so that I can still be the one who is with them. I wish I had discovered you sooner so that my children wouldn't be the victims of my life choices, but I also wish I would have had a mother to talk to in my formative years about life. Thank you for praising moms who spend their days putting Band-Aids on and making sandwiches and are available to spend QUANTITY time with their kids, wherein lies the QUALITY. I can't thank you enough.<br /><br />Clorinda</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-09-11T17:59:00Z
Husbands Can Bring Home More Than Expected
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Husbands-Can-Bring-Home-More-Than-Expected/-669412773477208038.html
2017-09-08T17:59:00Z
2017-09-08T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />I've heard you advising women to use a condom when having sex with a cheating husband to protect themselves from STDs that could kill them as well as leave their children motherless. I've also heard some of these women blow you off like you were an idiot for suggesting something so ridiculous in their minds.<br /><br />Nine years ago, my gynecologist called me with the results of my pap smear. But she asked me an odd question first: "How is your marriage?" I told her things were great. But then she told me that it appeared I had cervical cancer most likely caused by the HPV virus and I would need more testing. I refused the additional testing because I hadn't cheated on my husband and we'd been together 17 years, and he certainly didn't cheat on me. My denial was telling me that I was in the less than 1% of cervical cancers caused by HPV. <br /><br />Within one week I started chemo and radiation and then underwent a total hysterectomy. My husband didn't stay with me the first night after the surgery and he never brought the kids to the hospital to see me, but even all that didn't convince me that my husband had cheated. For years afterward, I went to all the checkups by myself and I still wasn't clued in. After all, husbands didn't bring home STDs! <br /><br />Ultimately, my eyes were opened, and I divorced my cheating, alcoholic husband two years ago. I almost died and left two school-age kids motherless because of my own naivete and denial. Husbands can and DO bring home STDs if they cheat, and it CAN kill you. To your listeners who think your suggestions are ridiculous, I say don't be naïve or stupid about your life. They should absolutely listen to you, Dr. Laura!<br /><br />Arlene</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-09-08T17:59:00Z
It's Not Worth It
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Not-Worth-It/50590851290451458.html
2017-09-07T17:59:00Z
2017-09-07T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When I was newly married, I found a wet towel on the bathroom floor that my husband had left there. I got annoyed....again because this was a pattern with him. Despite the fact that the towel rack was literally inches behind him, he always left the towel on the floor and I was tired of picking up after him. <br />I was about to go tell him off, but I heard your voice in my head saying "is this the hill you choose to die on?" and "ask yourself how you would feel if he were no longer around to leave his socks (or in this case the towel) on the floor." So I picked up the towel and put it on the rack. I left the bathroom and threw my arms around my husband's neck instead and said: "Honey, you smell so amazing right after your shower." I dragged him to the bedroom and rocked his world.<br /><br />He's the best husband I could ask for and is a great father to our bright and happy two-year-old girl. Fighting over a towel would have just made me a bitch and hurt our marriage. It wasn't worth it. We've been married for five years now. I still have to pick up the towel, but I couldn't be happier. I had poor examples for how to be a good mother and a good wife until I started listening to you. You've taught me how to be both! <br /><br />Sally</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-09-07T17:59:00Z
Helping Me To Make Memories
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Helping-Me-To-Make-Memories/-762126734806875777.html
2017-09-06T17:59:00Z
2017-09-06T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I think you should get paid by the Lego company for all the great advertising you're giving them! I have a nine-year-old grandson who LOVES Legos and has a ton of them. After listening to you, I thought we'd go and pick up a box of Legos to do together. You should have seen the delight on his face when I suggested that idea!<br /><br />I looked at all the houses and garden sets, but he liked a bank with police and robbers. So we went home with that set - all 561 pieces of it! I thought it would be good for several days of play value, but boy, was I wrong! My grandson had the fire truck done in 15 minutes. His hands were like whirling dervishes. He was like a crazed musician turning pages of music as he finished each section in the instruction book. I managed to get him to stop for lunch, and then I started hiding pieces on him to slow him down, but he discovered my ruse. He told me he wanted to get it all done so he could play with all the pieces. My heart just melted.<br /><br />So thank you for assisting me in making memories with my grandson. I adore the things you teach us each and every day, even if it's just Legos! The world is a better place because you are here!<br /><br />Sue</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-09-06T17:59:00Z
That Was A Warning
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/That-Was-A-Warning/-816143088145835627.html
2017-09-05T17:59:00Z
2017-09-05T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When my son was in kindergarten and my daughter in fourth grade, a boy who was in my daughter's grade and much bigger than she began bullying my son while at the bus stop in front of our house. As far as my wife and I know, it hadn't happened before, but that day, he began pushing and knocking our son around. We were watching from the house as we did every day until they boarded the bus. Before we were able to take action by going outside, our daughter threw a right cross to the boy, knocking him down.<br /><br />We saw that he wasn't really injured as much as embarrassed by getting hit by a girl. She gave him a warning to never do that to her brother again. We never went outside and never heard from the boy's parents who lived down the block. Of course, it never happened again.<br /><br />When our kids came home, we thanked our daughter for protecting our son and discussed the need to not initiate that kind of contact without proper cause. They are now respectively 34 and 30 years old and continue to be very close, as we all are. <br /><br />Ron</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-09-05T17:59:00Z
Reliving Our Best Moments
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Reliving-Our-Best-Moments/-587553302257088034.html
2017-09-01T17:59:00Z
2017-09-01T17:59:00Z
<p><br />After my mother died, I found her journal and I read it. This was a woman who had six kids, starting in the 1940s. There were no second cars for her to go to the store, the gym or the salon. No running out for fast food; dinner was on the table every night. We didn't have a dryer, so clothes were hung on the line. And her husband, my dad, never lifted a finger. Maybe he was tired from working a 12 hour day, trying to keep us clothed and fed. <br /><br />But this journal was filled with how happy she was to have us, how she lived such a good life and how thankful she was. There was nothing in it about the time I lied to her or talked back, or how I hated her because she wouldn't let me date at age 14. Instead, she focused on my attributes and how she loved me and my siblings. And what really stuck with me was how every morning as she drank her coffee, she would bring to mind a memory of each one of us, and re-live that moment. <br /><br />So to those who keep journals with all the negative thoughts and a list of "crimes" against you by your loved ones, start a NEW journal showing your gratitude and value for those who may have hurt you.<br /><br />Sandy</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-09-01T17:59:00Z
Jobs Can't Give Hugs
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Jobs-Cant-Give-Hugs/-621858233896017740.html
2017-08-31T17:59:00Z
2017-08-31T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My kids are now adults in their twenties, and I've been married to their father for 30 years. Unfortunately, my breed is becoming extinct. My kids never went to day care. They were always with me, their Dad or their grandparents, and I don't regret the decision to stay at home.<br /><br />I'm working again now, and I read a company blog that made me very sad. It was authored by a full-time working mom, and centered around her sense of leaving her kid behind. She mentioned her daughter said she missed her, because she had to work early mornings or late nights at the office and generally had little time left for her kid. Then she pushed aside those feelings and reminded her readers that she makes a difference in the family's life and is a positive influence because she works so hard. If only she worked as hard at being a Mom. <br /><br />I realize I may be considered old-fashioned, but that's okay. To me, being a good wife and a good mom have been more meaningful than any career or job could ever be. Besides, jobs can't give hugs. As always, thank you for reminding us to do the right thing.<br /><br />Susan</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-08-31T17:59:00Z
From A Recovering Snowflake
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/From-A-Recovering-Snowflake/-18058192679930114.html
2017-08-30T17:59:00Z
2017-08-30T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am a 27-year-old single woman who has spent the last year recovering from the many messes that resulted from MY choices. I'm a licensed associate counselor and I'm thankful every day that I found my passion. However, my inability to deal appropriately with my own relationships left me feeling depressed, bitter and completely drained. Then I found you, and you took over the rational side of my brain and sparked it to begin working. I'm intelligent and well-educated, but when I see a cute smile, that's enough for my smarts to suddenly disappear.<br /><br />At first you intimidated me. As a therapist, I asked myself "where's the unconditional positive regard?" But then, I was intrigued and kept listening. You are persistent, consistent and firm when it comes to your morals and setting boundaries. You don't know it, but you encouraged me to start living more in line with who I really am, which led to fewer dilemmas in my own life. I realize that every single day I can choose to take the right path or the wrong path. I took control of my student debt, moved out of my parents' house, and trained for a half-marathon (and ran it five minutes faster than my goal).<br /><br />I actually feel lighter today. Thank you for being my personal Jiminy Cricket - a rational-thinking, moral and amazing mentor. I am so thankful that I stumbled across your show.<br /><br />A recovering, millennial spineless snowflake,<br /><br />Kathleen</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-08-30T17:59:00Z
Dr. Laura Put Me Up To It
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dr.-Laura-Put-Me-Up-To-It/-896100086071862437.html
2017-08-29T17:59:00Z
2017-08-29T17:59:00Z
<p><br />I've been married to a wonderful man for seven years. However, in our 50s we went through a period of job losses, relocation, and more job losses and it has taken its toll on both of us. We are now both employed full-time and are moving to a bigger, nicer home. We've slowly been moving things between the two places. <br /><br />I was at the new home when my phone rang. I thought it was my husband calling me about the move, but I was SO WRONG. When I answered, my "<em>boyfriend</em>" asked if I was free for a "<em>booty call</em>." Of course, I said yes. I got cleaned up, set up our camping bed, and when I heard a knock at the door, I found my wonderful boyfriend all dressed up and holding flowers for me. It had been years since I had last seen this dazzling guy. The night was hotter and better than I'd remembered we had in the past.<br /><br />The next morning I asked my husband/boyfriend what got into him. He said, "<em>Dr. Laura put me up to it</em>." He had heard your show one day and decided it was time to be my boyfriend again. I am the luckiest woman in the world. Not a day goes by that I do not let him know how much I appreciate his providing a good home for us and our two cats.<br />So thank you, Dr. Laura. I will be moving into the new house with my hot, sexy boyfriend knowing I will always be his hot, sexy girlfriend! <br /><br />Selena</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-08-29T17:59:00Z
I Want YOU At Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Want-YOU-At-Home/738053117578384281.html
2017-08-28T17:59:00Z
2017-08-28T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm a primary care physician, but I did not work full or part time until my son was seven years old, and only when my husband could be home to care for our kids in my absence. When he turned seven, I started practicing a mile away from home Monday through Friday. My husband worked at home as a software programmer while the kids were at school and I got home two hours later. When my son was 10, I quit my job, because my husband's employer no longer let him work from home, so there would have been no parent home after school if I had stayed working.<br /><br />Once I gave my notice, I asked my son this question, just to hear his thoughts: "<em>When you get home, do you want ME there, a babysitter or do you want to go to an after-school program in a daycare?"</em> He immediately said, "<em>I want YOU to be at home.</em>" I responded, "<em>But if I don't quit my job, I can make a lot more money and buy more things for you</em>." He replied in a very matter-of-fact way: "How much money do you want to make? Just tell me how much, and I'll give it to you when I start working. I want YOU to be at home when I come home from school."<br /><br />I've been a stay-at-home mom ever since then. My wise son is heading off to college now. I have no regrets and only wonderful memories. I'm proud of him for being a caring, compassionate human being. I will miss him but am excited about his journey and I tell him this often. Thank you for your support of stay-at-home moms!<br /><br />Rayla</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-08-28T17:59:00Z
'Old School' Thinking
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Old-School-Thinking/-800890220414470641.html
2017-08-25T17:59:00Z
2017-08-25T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When I first started listening to you four years ago, I laughed out loud when you said all mothers should stay home to raise their children. I heard your facts and other data on the matter but still considered it "<em>old school</em>" thinking. However, I continued to listen to you, and the more I listened, the more calls I heard from mothers struggling to balance their family, homes, and careers. <br /><br />My generation was taught that we have no worth without careers and college degrees, but your advice kept nagging at me. I knew I wanted children and I knew that meant I wanted to be the one raising them to be good people. Deep down, I knew you were right.<br /><br />Last fall, I found out I was pregnant. Before our marriage, my husband and I agreed that I would be a stay-at-home mom. So I told my supervisor that I would not be returning to my teaching job this year. My daughter is now three months old, and being her mom is the best career I chose. I went to school two weeks ago to clean out my classroom. I was there all day and it took me an hour to get home. That's when I realized that this is what my life would be like if I still worked. I would only see my daughter two hours a day! I would have missed her first smile, her first babble, and all those other "<em>firsts</em>." You don't get these moments back, and the daycare down the street doesn't deserve them! So thank you from the bottom of my stubborn pig-headed heart for teaching me how precious my time with my baby is. Now, I wouldn't give it up for anything!<br /><br />Kelsey</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-08-25T17:59:00Z
Being A Woman Of Your Word
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-A-Woman-Of-Your-Word/765074886558618824.html
2017-08-24T17:59:00Z
2017-08-24T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I recently asked my daughter why she feared me. She reminded me of a time when we were playing a game, and she was very young. She leaned over and pulled hard at the little hairs that frame my face. I said OUCH really loud, and she just laughed. When I said "<em>That wasn't nice</em>" and "<em>Don't do it again</em>," she pulled at my hair once more. Finally, I warned her that if she did it one more time, I'd do it to her. She did, I did, and she screamed.<br /><br />The second example my daughter gave me occurred when we were shopping and she was not behaving well. I said that if she didn't behave, we would leave and neither of us would get anything. She continued. We went to our car and headed home. <br /><br />My daughter told me she always remembered those two specific events. She knew that if I said I was going to do it, I did it. When she was a teenager, she thanked me for being a woman of my word. She's now 27, and we are on the best of terms. And I never knew that a little hair pulling started it all.<br /><br />Darla </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-08-24T17:59:00Z
There Is Light At The End Of The Tunnel
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/There-Is-Light-At-The-End-Of-The-Tunnel/861360593039095441.html
2017-08-23T17:59:00Z
2017-08-23T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Last year, my life and marriage of 20 years were spiraling out of control. I had an alcoholic husband who needed major help. I vividly remember you talking to a woman who had called you, complaining about HER alcoholic husband. Your response spoke directly to me. Three days later, my husband came home drunk yet again. This time, I told him he had two options and both were non-negotiable: one was an inpatient rehab center or two, he had to move out. I left him alone to think and when I returned back home, he had already sat our three children down and told them that he had a major drinking problem that he couldn't kick on his own, and he needed to seek help. That night, we all sat on the living room floor, cried, held hands and individually prayed for him and our family.<br /><br />I'm ecstatic to report that as a family, we just celebrated one year of sobriety! We spent a wonderful day together. I've never loved or respected him more than I do now. He's the man that I always knew him to be. So thank you, Dr. Laura, for giving me the guidance and strength to know that there can be a light at the end of a very dark tunnel. Please keep up the good fight by changing one family at a time, because you definitely had a hand in changing mine.<br /><br />Hugs,<br /><br />Leslie</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-08-23T17:59:00Z
If I Had The Chance, Would I Give It Up?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/If-I-Had-The-Chance,-Would-I-Give-It-Up/548874156516862859.html
2017-08-22T17:59:00Z
2017-08-22T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm a 31-year-old stay-at-home mom to a three-year-old. My friends always ask me how on earth I do it. They ask how I "don't go crazy" and they wonder whether I would give it up if I had the chance. <br /><br />The answer is YES. I HATE BEING A STAY-AT- HOME MOM. I HATE that yesterday, my son and I rode our bikes to the park and had a picnic. I HATE that the day before, he put on his Spider Man costume and we shot Silly String in the backyard as his "web." I HATE that some days we go to the beach, the museum, the bowling alley or just stay at home and play with Legos. Boy, do we play with Legos! I HATE that my son helps me cook dinner every night before Dad comes home from work. I HATE that last week it rained and we had to go to the movies and eat extra buttered popcorn. I HATE that we raise caterpillars into butterflies, read endless amounts of books and listen to music together. You get the idea - it's really terrible to be a stay-at-home mom. I'm not sure how I do it each day. If only I could give this all up and instead sit at a desk all day, working on a computer, dealing with co-workers and bosses. Wouldn't that be nice? A girl can dream, I guess.<br /><br />I've got to run now. My son and I are learning how to make our own fortune cookies today. Love you, Dr. Laura!<br /><br />All my best,<br /><br />Erin</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-08-22T17:59:00Z
The Next Phase of Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Next-Phase-of-Life/-11722547826157136.html
2017-08-21T17:59:00Z
2017-08-21T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />In a few days, my third son will be leaving for college. As I was taking a walk today, I started to get sentimental as I think about him leaving. I've very happy for him on his next adventure in life, but I will miss him terribly. <br /><br />What's getting me through this is knowing that I was with him his entire life growing up. When our kids were little, I thought about working, but thinking is as far as it got. I could never stomach the thought of someone being there when my kids got home from school and needed me (among many other times).<br /><br />As our kids have gotten older and more independent, I've been able to help out my husband with our business, which has been wonderful. I'll now have more free time to continue doing that. The sacrifices we made for me to be at home with our boys was invaluable, I can send this son off to college feeling good because I have absolutely no regrets. I've truly loved every ride I ever gave him and every meal I ever cooked because I knew it would all come to a screeching halt soon enough.<br /><br />Please keep pushing the "one parent at home" talks on the air. I will keep listening for further inspiration, which I'm going to need because I'm on the path to the next phase of my life!<br /><br />Janet</p>
Staff
2017-08-21T17:59:00Z
The 'Dr. Laura' Handbook
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Dr.-Laura-Handbook/934484237605288904.html
2017-08-18T17:59:00Z
2017-08-18T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Eight years ago, I was in a really bad place. I was in an abusive relationship on the verge of shacking up and essentially cutting myself off from my family. I was already isolated from my most meaningful friendships. Despite listening to you all my life, I was rebelling against everything I knew to be the right thing to do. Miraculously, I came to my senses and got out before making an illegitimate kid or becoming an unpaid whore. <br /><br />That's when I started listening to you again and decided to do everything by the "<em>Dr. Laura Handbook</em>" next time around. Setup on a blind date by mutual friends, my now husband and I were pretty smitten right away. I told him upfront that when I had children, they would never be in daycare. By our third date, he told me that if we were married with children, WE would raise them, not strangers. We dated two and a half years, never shacked up and did nine months of premarital counseling. I chose really well.<br /><br />We've now been married five years and have two little girls. I've never been happier. Our girls have never set foot inside a daycare and have rarely ever been with a babysitter besides their adoring grandparents or cousins. Marriage and parenting are not easy, but I listen to you every day and hear your voice in my head reminding me to be his girlfriend and be present for my kids. It has made me a much better person.</p>
Staff
2017-08-18T17:59:00Z
The Impact Of A Good Father
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Impact-Of-A-Good-Father/-718669268092641821.html
2017-08-17T17:59:00Z
2017-08-17T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />You read an email recently that got me thinking about my Dad. He was born in rural Kentucky in the 1930s and had an awful childhood. His father was an alcoholic and was verbally and physically abusive to all four of his kids and my wonderful grandmother.<br /><br />Grandma made the choice to leave Kentucky and her husband and moved to Chicago with the kids. Despite the negative role model of a man my dad had growing up, he made the conscious choice to be the opposite when it came to fathering me and my brother. He hardly ever touched alcohol, coached my little league baseball teams, took us fishing every summer and ultimately became the best teacher I ever had.<br /><br />He passed away in 2003, but his positive role modeling continues to have an impact to this day. My wife and I have four kids and my son now has a toddler of his own. All of us benefit from what my Dad did. I'm proud of all my kids, but I'm particularly proud of the Dad that my son is to HIS son. All because of the best teacher I ever had. Of all the things I've accomplished in my life, being a good Dad is what I'm most proud of.<br /><br />Chase</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-08-17T17:59:00Z
On The Path To An Empty Nest
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/On-The-Path-To-An-Empty-Nest/37683257226880853.html
2017-08-16T17:59:00Z
2017-08-16T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />In a few days, my third son will be leaving for college. As I was taking a walk today, I started to get sentimental as I think about him leaving. I've very happy for him on his next adventure in life, but I will miss him terribly. <br /><br />What's getting me through this is knowing that I was with him his entire life growing up. When our kids were little, I thought about working, but thinking is as far as it got. I could never stomach the thought of someone being there when my kids got home from school and needed me (among many other times).<br /><br />As our kids have gotten older and more independent, I've been able to help out my husband with our business, which has been wonderful. I'll now have more free time to continue doing that. The sacrifices we made for me to be at home with our boys was invaluable, I can send this son off to college feeling good because I have absolutely no regrets. I've truly loved every ride I ever gave him and every meal I ever cooked because I knew it would all come to a screeching halt soon enough.<br /><br />Please keep pushing the "<em>one parent at home</em>" talks on the air. I will keep listening for further inspiration, which I'm going to need because I'm on the path to the next phase of my life!<br /><br />Janet<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-08-16T17:59:00Z
The Gift Of Adoption
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Gift-Of-Adoption/364432226258518921.html
2017-08-15T17:59:00Z
2017-08-15T17:59:00Z
<p><br />As an adopted child at just 29 days old, I realize the gift my biological mother gave so that I could be placed in the arms of loving parents and a stable home environment. I am certain my life would have been one of hard times, with a mom who had to put me in daycare so she could make enough to provide me with a roof and clothes on my back. That is no way for a child to live.<br /><br />After giving birth to my older brother, my adoptive mom had a miscarriage and then they later suffered the death of a 4-day old baby. She was an RN and my adoptive father was a police officer, but they were put through a rigorous application process nonetheless, with extensive background checks. That process took two long years, but the day finally came when fate placed me in THEIR arms. My mom still says "<em>the second she held me she knew I was hers FOREVER.</em>"<br /><br />When my mom explained to me as a child that I was adopted, I remember I had this picture in my mind of a carousel of babies, and THEY CHOSE ME. Instead of feeling abandoned, I felt special enough to be given the best life and still feel very fortunate and "chosen" and I'm 49 years old! I grew up with a dad who was a provider, a mom who was with me every day and never put me in daycare or with anyone that did not love me. I had an amazing childhood, and it began with a woman who wanted more for her child than she knew she was ready or capable of providing. For that, I am forever grateful.<br /><br />I wanted your listeners to hear this from an adopted child's point of view. I never felt abandoned. I felt chosen, loved, and most of all grateful that was given the GIFT of being placed into the arms of the most amazing parents a child could ever have. Thank you, Dr. Laura, for always fighting for what's in the best interests of children.<br /><br /><br />Donna</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-08-15T17:59:00Z
Doing The Right Thing For Me AND My Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Doing-The-Right-Thing-For-Me-AND-My-Children/-222551196986180042.html
2017-08-14T17:59:00Z
2017-08-14T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband left me two years ago when our boys were 13 and 17. I cried for a solid month and did everything I could to get him back. Then I woke up one morning and decided "<em>no more crying!</em>" I applied the wisdom I gained from you over the years and decided to take the bull by the horns.<br /><br />I went back to teaching while the kids are in school, and I've made a solid choice not to date until my youngest is up and out. My kids and I go hiking, running, and we lift weights. We go to the movies, church, and have "<em>it's your choice</em>" dinner nights. We hang out on the couch, and we play basketball too. My life is full, and so is theirs. Their dad is still in their lives, thank goodness, and I do my best to remain friendly with him for the sake of our kids. But I haven't given dating another man a second thought because of the wonderful opportunities out there that exist for me and my children. My kids may not have their dad around every day, but they have me.<br /><br />I know from you that this is the time to take care of myself and my children and not create more drama in their lives. They'll grow up soon enough, so I need to give my kids the time they require and deserve. Thanks to YOU for reminding me of that every day.<br /><br />Carmen</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-08-14T17:59:00Z
A Reminder To Always Choose Wisely And Treat Kindly
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Reminder-To-Always-Choose-Wisely-And-Treat-Kindly/-319833960361138507.html
2017-08-11T17:59:00Z
2017-08-11T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I lost my husband earlier this year, after a marriage of 25 years, filled with family and our love for each other. He was a Navy Captain for 30 years and was an honorable, brave, intelligent and loving man. I was his caretaker for the last few years and did it all with love because he treated me like his queen.<br /><br />After he died, I remembered your words about friends and family. I also remembered your advising that giving to others and having a purposeful life alleviates the grief. I've followed your advice and am grateful for your guidance. <br /><br />The week before I took my husband's ashes to Arlington, I was going through some items in my jewelry box. In an inside pocket, I found an unopened letter with my name on the envelope in my husband's handwriting. It was a letter from him expressing his love for me. I cried and laughed all day. Laughter was one of the gifts he gave me.<br /><br />I have a void in my heart that will never be filled, but I am at peace. I want the wives and girlfriends who listen to you to know that your words are very true - choose wisely, treat kindly, and hold his hand, because someday it might not be there to hold. Thank you for giving me strength and being a friend when I needed one. <br /> <br />Sending my love,<br /><br />Elinor</p>
<br /><br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-08-11T17:59:00Z
Living Up To My Potential
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Living-Up-To-My-Potential/-763600861168855541.html
2017-08-10T17:59:00Z
2017-08-10T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm 30 years old and have listened to your show since I was 10 - my mom always had you on the radio in the car. As a teenager, of course I thought anything you said was ridiculous and that you were a bad influence on my mom, as you both sounded so similar! Over the years, however, I've come to greatly appreciate your words of wisdom. I'm lucky to have had parents who shared similar values and gave me a solid foundation for life.<br /><br />I went through a period of depression and loneliness that I thought I would never come out of. Instead, I found myself humbled by the stories of your callers, and motivated by the practical recommendations, compassion, and unrelenting honesty you have. You helped me live up to my own expectations, and to create a life I can be proud of. I'm happily married to a real man. I knew he was a keeper when he agreed to read the "<em>Proper Care and Feeding Of</em>" series with me before we got married. For Christmas, he got me a subscription to your podcast, so I could listen when I wanted. <br /><br />I look forward to being my kid's mom (delivery date is four months away). Thank you for all the hard work and dedication. You are a guiding light in an otherwise snowflake world.<br /><br />With gratitude,<br /><br />Clarisse</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-08-10T17:59:00Z
What's It Like To Be You?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Whats-It-Like-To-Be-You/621992200681449334.html
2017-08-09T17:59:00Z
2017-08-09T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I want to share a funny story that substantiates your theory on how men are uncomplicated and easy to please. <br /><br />My husband and I have been married for ten years. One day, in the early years of our marriage, we were cuddled up together on the couch, watching a movie. As we were cuddling, I was watching his expressions, examining his hands, and listening to his heartbeat, thinking "<em>I wonder what it's like to be him?</em>" Thinking that he would have some deep, detailed, profound revelation to share with me, I asked him just that - "<em>What's it like to be you?</em>"<br /><br />His answer? "<em>Hungry and horny,</em>" he replied simply without hesitation. Luckily, his answer is something I can live with!<br /><br />Meredith</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-08-09T17:59:00Z
Trading My Career For Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Trading-My-Career-For-Children/600419053167685219.html
2017-08-08T17:59:00Z
2017-08-08T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Thank you for giving me the strength and wisdom to choose to be a stay-at-home mom. I am a pediatrician who made a mistake and chose poorly with my first marriage. I was lucky enough to have discovered you so that when I met my now wonderful husband, I could be the wife and mother he and our boys deserve.<br /><br />Shortly after we married, I became pregnant with twins. Both of us are physicians, and we realized that our colleagues who were married and both working physicians had children and marriages that were severely suffering divorce, drugs and more. The physicians who were married with kids and whose spouse stayed at home had what appeared to be happy, thriving families. This wasn't a scientific study, but it was still blatantly obvious to us what to do. So I became a stay at home mom.<br /><br />It took a lot of courage to face those who could not understand "<em>throwing away</em>" my very successful career, including my seven-digit income. On the days it was more than I could take, you and your confident words kept me strong and unwavering. I would love to meet you some day, as I'd want to discuss the topic of high-income career women transitioning into stay-at-home moms. Not to undermine other moms and the sacrifices they make to stay at home, but I think women like me are in a unique situation. We suffer tremendously as social outcasts while forgetting that one of the reasons we became successful is that we never stood down to people. We are powerful women in our own right, commanding boardrooms, and emergency rooms. Those of us who are pediatricians have immense credibility when it comes to the care of children. I believe we have an opportunity to use our strong voices to change the way that society views raising children. <br /><br />Jill</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-08-08T17:59:00Z
Women Are Stronger Than They Think
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Women-Are-Stronger-Than-They-Think/995371915511885779.html
2017-08-07T17:59:00Z
2017-08-07T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My father died when I was 12, leaving my mom with a 12-year-old daughter and 9-year-old son. She pulled herself together and provided for us financially, physically, and emotionally. She worked part-time at the Post Office and scheduled her work so that she could spend time with us and still make the last bus home at night (she didn't drive). <br /> <br />A year after my dad died, my blind grandmother moved in with us. Since my mom was an only child born of an only child, there was no family to help. Thankfully, she had the support of many good friends. The family was the most important thing to my mother - she put all of us first. She courageously and willingly sacrificed for our well-being. We had holes in the carpet, all our pots and pans were on the living room floor catching the rain when it fell, and our clothes were purchased at sales where she got 70% off. Yet, we never felt poor. <br /><br />I would be a different person if my mother had done anything else. I would have struggled more than I already did (I was a shy, awkward teenager). I would have strayed into behaviors that would have permanently changed my life. Instead, I went to college, married a wonderful man, had a career that was perfect for me, and then I became a stay-at-home mom when I had kids. Mom was right there where I needed her to be. I only hope that she knew how much she was admired, respected, loved and cherished.<br /><br />Women have more strength than they think they have. They have more support than they realize is around them. And they may not get the words of thanks that they so deserve and need until their kids are much older, but like a tree that is tended well, children will eventually grow and bloom in gratefulness, respect, and emulation of her values and behavior.<br /><br />Layla</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-08-07T17:59:00Z
The Realization That You Are Better Off Without Them
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Realization-That-You-Are-Better-Off-Without-Them/453400215977033797.html
2017-08-04T17:59:00Z
2017-08-04T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When I was 14, a new girl arrived in school. She seemed nice and had a wacky sense of humor like mine, and we hit it off immediately. We spent lots of time together both in and out of school and got our first summer jobs at the same time. Two years later, without explanation, she broke off our friendship. I was bewildered and devastated. <br /><br />My older sister, however, pointed out some disconcerting behavior she had observed in my friend. She said my friend was moody and manipulative, giving me the silent treatment when she was upset, but without any explanation of what, if any, offense I had committed. She said that even though I felt hurt and abandoned by this friend, I was better off without such a person in my life. <br /><br />Foolishly, at 19, I let this friend back into my life after she contacted me saying she was sorry for her previous behavior. She admitted she had been jealous of me, but said she missed our good times together. Naively ignoring the red flags my sister had pointed out to me three years earlier, and thinking maybe my friend had matured, I gave her another chance. Four years later, after a series of dishonest and childish behavior on her part I told my friend that if this continued, I could no longer visit or correspond with her. I didn't expect a pleasant response, but I was flabbergasted when in response she sent me cat feces in the mail! Yes, this actually happened! I broke off contact immediately and permanently. I decided then and there I would not waste any more time giving toxic people second chances. <br /><br />Since then, I have chosen my friends wisely, and they are intelligent, caring people who inspire me to be as supportive, kind, morally upright and as reciprocal with their time, energy and friendship as they are.<br /><br />Holly</p>
Staff
2017-08-04T17:59:00Z
Against The Odds
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Against-The-Odds/-121384829285872796.html
2017-08-03T17:59:00Z
2017-08-03T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I hear people on your show talk about their difficult childhoods and how it has kept them from making good choices in adulthood. And then I think about my dad.<br /><br />He had a very difficult childhood. His father committed suicide when he was three, leaving his mother alone to care for him and his two older very disabled sisters. She raised him the best she could, though much of attention had to be on the sisters. She finally married a man who was an alcoholic. Eagerly wanting a father of any kind, my dad said he often cleaned up after his stepfather late at night for fear his mother would grow tired of his drinking and kick him out. In the Navy, my dad was also told by a psychologist that he could never hold down a job or a marriage.<br /><br />Despite all this, my father has been happily married to my mother for over 52 years. He met her at a dance. When he saw how she accepted a dance from a disabled man, he was struck by her compassion and asked her out. He was a successful engineer, working until well into his 70s, and provided his family with a wonderful home. He can now enjoy his retirement years. He took care of his disabled sisters financially until they passed away. At 87, he still plays singles tennis and actively engages his mind and body every day.<br /><br />He taught me to enjoy life and not to live in fear; to accept what is, and be grateful for what I had. He's humble and kind to others and to me, and exemplifies the values you speak about on your show. The best phrase he taught me was "<em>a rich man is not one who has the most, but one who needs the least</em>." It's a great way to live.<br /><br />Tammy<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-08-03T17:59:00Z
Road Trip With Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Road-Trip-With-Dr.-Laura/-331007880150259089.html
2017-08-02T17:59:00Z
2017-08-02T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />I am a newlywed, and recently my husband and I drove across the country to have a specialist in veterinary dentistry work on our little doggie. Our little fur babies are very important to both of us, so only the best would do. The trip took us six days each way.<br /><br />My husband and I dated for 3 1/2 years before getting married. We didn't shack up either. We both work, so we don't often get to listen to your show together on a regular basis. However, once we started this trip, he immediately found you on SiriusXM in the car, and we listened to your whole show each day. We listened to each caller and agreed with you or used the call as a talking point about what we would do in that situation. We held our breath when a caller talked about their "feelings" or said the words "I don't know," or "I guess." They clearly didn't know about your rules!<br /><br />Being in a car together for two full weeks without making each other crazy was a testament to our relationship and to our patience! I'm so proud that he tells me he 100% agrees with you on most things, and even though he loves his mom and his doggies, I now come first. Listening to your show together with my new husband confirmed that I have myself a real man! <br /><br />Cressida</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-08-02T17:59:00Z
Always Put The Children First
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Always-Put-The-Children-First/256446527780197664.html
2017-08-01T17:59:00Z
2017-08-01T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />My husband and I have been married for 16 years - it's the second marriage for both of us. We had kids ranging from age 9 to 2 when we wed. I want to implore your listeners to follow your instructions and not to remarry or bring other people into your kids' lives until they are out of high school. Both of my wonderful sons are in counseling for anxiety and depression, which I have no doubt is a direct result of my husband's volatile relationship with them when they were younger.<br /><br />Like most everyone in this situation, I thought my story would be different. The kids would be well-loved, well-adjusted and life would be rosy. Love would be enough. Truth be told, the last 16 years have been more difficult than I could have ever guessed. Looking back, I know my selfishness in choosing to marry again took much away from my children. You always think YOUR "blended" family will work. It may or it may not, but it is a very rough road nonetheless. Everyone is NOT treated fairly, no matter how hard you try. It is human nature to protect and promote our own children over others. It is impossible to truly blend separate parts. You have a mixed bag of people, desperately trying to keep above water. <br /><br />That said, our youngest graduated from high school this year. My husband and I are closer and happier than ever, and we have good relationships with all four of our adult children.<br /><br />If you have already remarried, there is hope. If you always put the kids FIRST in your new life, things can work out....eventually. But it won't be easy for any of you, and really, life is difficult enough. Why not just wait until the kids are grown up and gone to spread your wings and fly?<br /><br />Amelia</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-08-01T17:59:00Z
Winning The 'Husband Lottery'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Winning-The-Husband-Lottery/722428558907112798.html
2017-07-31T17:59:00Z
2017-07-31T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I have a wonderful husband, who is also a Major in the Army. I've recently had health problems and have been unable to keep up with the raising of our two boys or do the things for my husband I normally do. I feel like I won the lottery because I have this man. Not only is he doing a wonderful job in the military, but he has essentially taken over the care of our entire household while I'm down. <br /><br />I always knew he was a wonderful dad and a great husband, yet I would not have expected he would be so there for our family in every sense of the word. Now I know for sure that when the tough gets going, my husband will be going tough. He doesn't get the chance to listen to your show, but he says things that almost repeat word for word what YOU'VE said on your show. I sometimes wonder if he's sneaking in a little Dr. Laura on his lunch hour! <br /><br />I'm very glad you're here to remind me to show my husband how special he is to me and how much I appreciate all he is doing for our family. I married one of the few "<em>John Wayne</em>" type men left in the world, and we're raising two more for the future generation. Thank you for all you do for us listeners, and especially all you don't even know you've done for me.<br /><br />Jayne</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-07-31T17:59:00Z
The Importance Of Being A Mother To My Future Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-Of-Being-A-Mother-To-My-Future-Children/207185857690639096.html
2017-07-27T17:59:00Z
2017-07-27T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When I was six, my father passed away unexpectedly, leaving my mother a young widow with three small children to care for. Though I know she was in pain herself, she focused all her energy on taking care of her children. She worked because she had to, but was always there for us when we got off the bus from school and always left work the second we needed her. She didn't date or bring strange men into the house. She put her personal life on hold to devote herself unselfishly to her children. When I got older, she told me that she had had a friend who lost her father at a young age and she always felt she lost her mother at the same time because the mother became so consumed with finding a new husband. My mother never wanted us to feel that way, and we never did.<br /><br />I'm now 31 and happily married and appreciate the importance of being a mother to my future children, and of showing them how much I love their father no matter what happens. I owe that entirely to my mother's example and your daily words of advice. Thank you for encouraging parents to remain single whether widowed or divorced while they raise their children. Every time I hear a parent say that they don't think a new man and new "brothers and sisters" will affect their children, I want to shake them! Children's emotions are so complex and often hidden from their parents, but they observe and understand and learn from everything that goes on in the house. I'm glad that you verbally "shake" these parents for me!<br /><br />Forever appreciative of your work,<br /><br />Olivia</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-07-27T17:59:00Z
Marriage Is A Two-Way Street
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Marriage-Is-A-Two-Way-Street/208781274002014222.html
2017-07-26T17:59:00Z
2017-07-26T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />It never ceases to amaze me when I hear so many spouses calling into you, expecting so much from their spouse when they've given so little! Many years ago, my husband and I bought a house. Although he trusts me with money, I always ask for his agreement when I spend more than fifty dollars on something. As I was shopping for remodeling materials, I asked for a lot of extra money for carpet, landscaping and more. His reply was always "If you think we can afford it, do it." I kept the accounts, and budgeted heavily, eliminating some things, and pocketing enough extra so I could surprise him on his birthday with a used truck of his dreams three months after the house purchase.<br /><br />I parked the truck in the garage and surprised him with a party, which included his buddies and their spouses. I told him his birthday gift was in the garage. He was expecting a new riding mower. I never told any of his friends what I had bought, so when my husband drove the truck out of the garage, his buddies were blown away. I was surprised how pouty the wives were, because, in their minds, I had "outdone" them because they would never have gone to the trouble I did. Twenty years later, most of those couples are divorced.<br /><br />It's so easy to put your spouse first. In doing so, my king treats me like a queen. We have lived modestly, but celebrated marriage royally. It's so less stressful than scraping for attention. Keep teaching those who have ears to hear how to create an atmosphere for marital prosperity. We raised six adopted teens and three birth children, and no one lives in our basement and none is divorced!<br /><br />Rosemarie</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-07-26T17:59:00Z
A Letter From The Nanny
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Letter-From-The-Nanny/-769837931632511387.html
2017-07-25T17:59:00Z
2017-07-25T17:59:00Z
<p><br />I have been a day care worker in an infant center, a preschool teacher, and a private nanny before getting married, having my own children and deciding to take on a new role as wife and mother. I want to address all of the working mothers, working pregnant women and those considering having children in the future, because I'll tell them what none of their friends will.<br /><br />I do not love your children. That's right. As much as you would like to think I love them and treat them as my own, the reality is I CANNOT love your children. I did not give birth to them. I did not bond with them. I am doing a job for a paycheck. I enjoy working with, interacting with and helping children, but I do not love them. I like them a lot. I care for them. I tend to their needs, and because I am one of the good ones, I will show them loving gestures, like big bear hugs, holding hands, and picking them up throughout the day. What I won't do is look lovingly into their eyes while feeding them their bottle, or putting them to my breast so they can feel my warmth, smell my skin and hear my heartbeat. In fact, when I leave your home or that daycare center, I won't even think about your child until I see them the next day. Your children are not mine. They are yours. When they fall, they call for you. When they are sad, they cry for you. They ask for you, and they get me - because you aren't there. They need you throughout the day. Not because I'm not tending to their needs but because they have a biological need and an emotional want to be with their mother. <br /><br />If you're looking for someone who will treat your child like their own and someone who will give your child a loving mother's care, look in the mirror. Don't listen to people who tell you to go against your instinct. I'm someone who has spent years taking care of other people's children and I did a great job, but all of my experience and all of my dedication couldn't hold a candle to the love and care that I put into raising my own children. Don't fool yourself into thinking I could possibly love your children the way I love my own. It couldn't even come close.<br /><br />The Nanny</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-07-25T17:59:00Z
Words Of Warning
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Words-Of-Warning/840865407986074910.html
2017-07-24T17:59:00Z
2017-07-24T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I recently heard a caller who had a possessive boyfriend, and it has prompted me to write. When I was 21, I was with a man like that. He was 15 years my senior. He didn't want me to go out with my friends and he was a pathological liar, stooping so low as to tell me he had cancer when he thought I would leave him. When I tried to leave one day, he chased after me in his truck and practically ran my car off the road. If this behavior sounds familiar to some of your listeners, I would tell them to listen to their gut and instincts, as these are abusive men!<br /><br />My dad was an alcoholic, a wife beater, and a child abuser. He scared me, my brothers and my mother. I would have played out that same nightmare if I hadn't decided I'd had enough and finally left for good. I shudder to think what might have happened if I didn't. Years later, I read where this man had "<em>accidentally</em>" run his wife over with his car.<br /><br />I've been very fortunate to find a wonderful, loving, and compassionate husband to whom I've been married for 30 years. We have a great life despite the fact that we both live with chronic medical conditions. We help each other and lift each other's spirits on our bad days. <br /><br />Sydney</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-07-24T17:59:00Z
Making It Work
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-It-Work/-712945381618225241.html
2017-07-21T17:59:00Z
2017-07-21T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've been listening to you for 20 years, and I'm only 30 years old, so that's pretty much my entire life! My husband and I got married fairly young, and had our first child a year and a half later, while my husband was still going to school. Even then, we knew it was important for me to stay at home, so we made it work. Later, he was unemployed for a span of four months, but we still managed to figure out a way for me to stay home until he found a stable job. Our four kids have only ever known the stability of having me at home even through the ups and downs of our life.<br /><br />Because of you, I'm always inspired to become a better wife, mother, and woman. And I'm able to share some of the things I've learned with others, so even people who do not listen to you are still getting the benefit of your wisdom! Thank you for all you continue to do.<br /><br />Lisa</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-07-21T17:59:00Z
Sharing Your Wisdom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sharing-Your-Wisdom/-251597670550181973.html
2017-07-20T17:59:00Z
2017-07-20T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />You have often been a guiding voice in the back of my mind. My sister has been having problems in her marriage, and it's been really hard for me to listen. I love my sister and I was at a loss for what to say to her about it. <br /><br />I got her "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>" and she read it. It hasn't made all her problems go away, but putting the suggestions into practice has significantly improved her marriage. She called me today and told me about a fight they had that ended with him making a huge effort to apologize to her - something previously unheard of. <br /><br />Thank you for sharing your wisdom and making matters we think are "<em>gray areas</em>" glaringly black and white!<br /><br />Zara</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-07-20T17:59:00Z
Just Be There For Him
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Just-Be-There-For-Him/633372082244494721.html
2017-07-19T17:59:00Z
2017-07-19T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband recently lost a dear friend quite unexpectedly. When he came home from a somber day at work (where everyone was still reeling from the news), I greeted him with a smile and cooked dinner while he took a nap. He seemed deflated.<br /><br />We made small talk over dinner, and then I escorted him to the couch and returned with a beer, sitting on the floor as he searched the TV for a baseball game. No words were exchanged. I then started to give him a foot massage. Slowly, he began remarking on a bad pitch or a missed catch, coming out of his funk a bit. I pretended to be interested.<br /><br />When it was time for bed, I wasn't ready, so I offered to "tuck him in." I wanted to be there for him if he needed me. His face said it all: "<em>I want to be with you, but I am drained.</em>" We embraced, shared many kisses and he was off to bed. I then took a minute to think that if I hadn't absorbed the wisdom of Mother Laura, I probably would have badgered him about his feelings and demanded to know what he needed. But I knew what he needed, thanks to you. He got a hot meal, physical touch, a couple of beers, and a crappy baseball game. I did not once feel neglected that we weren't talking as usual. It simply FELT right to do as I did - to be quieter, to physically connect, and to just BE there for him. <br /><br />Thank you for helping us women understand our men and to remind us to shut up every once in a while!<br /><br />Christine</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-07-19T17:59:00Z
Making My Husband The First Priority
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-My-Husband-The-First-Priority/-323253366114666478.html
2017-07-18T17:59:00Z
2017-07-18T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Like many of your listeners, I went to a large liberal university. The agenda pushed on me at every turn was unbiasedly feminist. Every avenue of media and education seemed to devalue the family. I was told to work full time, that I didn't need a man and so on. I always felt ashamed for having conservative beliefs. <br /><br />My husband and I met during those years, and he knew that my one goal was to become a stay-at-home mom. I've read all your books, but the most touching to me are "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060520620/noxsolutions-20/ref=nosim" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>," and "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Praise-Stay-at-Home-Moms-Laura-Schlessinger/dp/B005SNO0L4" target="_blank">In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms</a></em>." They helped me gain confidence in my decisions. My husband is my number one priority and it has made every part of our lives a blessing. He even brags about me to his friends! <br /><br />My sister-in-law recently wondered how bored I must be. She told me I was wasting my life staying home with our daughter. Flabbergasted by her comment, my husband answered first: "<em>She is the best mother and wife I have ever met. She is the core of our house. Without her, there would be no family. Our daughter and marriage is thriving because of the decision our family made. She is more valued in ten minutes at home with our daughter than she would be in 30 years at some job.</em>"<br /><br />Thanks to you for giving me the tips and confidence to make our family so successful and happy.<br /><br />Julie</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-07-18T17:59:00Z
It All Makes Sense Now
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-All-Makes-Sense-Now/-514070918915564686.html
2017-07-17T17:59:00Z
2017-07-17T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When I first heard you 20 years ago, I thought you were rude and harsh to your callers. I totally disagreed with your advice and did not listen again until you came to SiriusXM. Back then I was happily married, with three kids, and had no real problems in my life. <br /><br />In 2005, I was diagnosed with breast cancer and had surgery, chemo, and radiation. My husband and other family members supported me through it all. I'm still cancer-free.But in 2007, at the age of 47, my beloved husband died suddenly of a heart attack. I don't know how I would have made it through without my children. Within two years, however, I began drinking too much to "<em>ease the pain</em>," and I made poor choices due to my drinking. My children and siblings intervened and asked me to get help. They didn't like who their mom was becoming. I went to a 30-day inpatient rehab and haven't looked back since. <br /> <br />I don't believe it was an accident that I found you again on SiriusXM. As I hear the advice you give to callers, I realize many of them have had experiences similar to my own. Suddenly the harsh words and poor advice I heard 20 years ago all make sense. I'm able to understand the how and why of your advice. Today, I listen every day, and like to feel that I am living the "<em>Dr. Laura life!</em>" My greatest achievement has been raising three hardworking, morally conscious children of good character. Thank you for giving so much of yourself to all of us for so long.<br /><br />Meryl</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-07-17T17:59:00Z
The Importance Of Being Responsible For My Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-Of-Being-Responsible-For-My-Family/-121082736577220856.html
2017-07-13T17:59:00Z
2017-07-13T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm a 36-year-old African-American man born and raised in Detroit. When I was 20 years old, my then girlfriend and I were shacking up with a newborn son. There was no stability, and there were no real plans to be married. <br /><br />One night, I was listening to our local talk station and I was astounded to hear a woman's voice calling a young lady an "unpaid whore" and a bad mother for living with a man she wasn't married to and having his babies. Initially, I thought you were terrible for being so judgmental, but when you explained that your concern was for the well-being of the children, I was profoundly affected. I thought about my infant son and it became clear to me immediately that I was putting him at risk for any number of negative outcomes simply by not being married to his mother.<br /><br />My girlfriend and I stopped shacking up and a year later I laid down my life for them. We've now been happily married for 14 years, and we have another son. I mentioned my race earlier only because statistically 72 percent of African-American children are born to unwed mothers, and for the past 15 years, I've tried to spread your message throughout my peer group. Because of you, I am my children's father and my wife's boyfriend, and I understand the importance of being financially responsible for my family.<br /><br />You are a treasure. I so love and appreciate you, and thank you for your courage and<br />wisdom.<br /><br /><br />Jason</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-07-13T17:59:00Z
Playing Your Cards For A Happy Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Playing-Your-Cards-For-A-Happy-Home/-999448284365001705.html
2017-07-12T17:59:00Z
2017-07-12T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I consider myself a true feminist, because I now embrace and celebrate femininity as distinctly different from and complementary to masculinity. Thanks to your influence, I am empowered to be a strong and respectable woman! I've learned that giving to my husband and especially feeding his male ego did not diminish me at all, but did just the opposite! Feeding him has given ME power, fulfillment and happiness in life that fighting him for dominance never got me. <br /><br />My husband and I have been happily married for eleven years. I read "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>" when we got engaged, and it completely changed my attitude and that completely changed our relationship. We had done everything wrong - we met when I was seventeen and he was eighteen, and we shacked up for five years before we got married. We moved out of state for MY job, and during that time, my career was first and foremost. He was secondary, and I treated him like an accessory to my life. I thought I had to compete and WIN to be respected. For me, being a strong woman meant that I had to be superior to a man. Our relationship was rocky for quite a while.<br /><br />Once I started treating him properly, I realized what a good, strong, and respectable man I had, and he's become more so since then. I now understand how to play my cards to get what I really want, which is a happy and peaceful home where I am truly respected and loved.<br /><br />Jessica</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-07-12T17:59:00Z
The ABC's Of Summer
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-ABCs-Of-Summer/-418480493311100248.html
2017-07-11T17:59:00Z
2017-07-11T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm a stay-at-home mom to four kids, two of whom are on the autism spectrum. My husband quit a good-paying job that had him traveling all the time and he started his own business so he could be home with us full time. Some months we have money, and some months are very lean. <br /><br />Since everyone is now out of school, I was determined to make it memorable for the kids even though there's no money for a summer vacation. And I came up with the "ABCs of Summer." I did a lot of research and made a list of mostly free activities that my kids would love for each letter of the alphabet. Most of them are easy hikes, since we love being in the mountains, and hiking definitely feeds body and soul. I've seen their stamina increase as well as their ability to problem-solve improve on these hikes. Our list also has fun parks we've never tried, free museums at two local universities, geocaching, free events put on by public libraries, swimming, and crafts. My youngest wakes up every day and can't wait to find out what we're doing for our letter that day. And my oldest loves inviting her best friend (who would otherwise be home all day alone because her parents work) to join us. And I'm seeing things in the place I've lived my whole life I probably would never know existed if I weren't searching out activities that start with each letter. <br /><br />I wanted to tell you about this since there are likely other stay-at-home moms who could come up with lists for their own areas. Thank you for being our champion, Dr. Laura!<br /><br />Michelle</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-07-11T17:59:00Z
Never Look Back, Enjoy The Now, And Keep Your Family Safe
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Never-Look-Back,-Enjoy-The-Now,-And-Keep-Your-Family-Safe/-36844097000607837.html
2017-07-10T17:59:00Z
2017-07-10T17:59:00Z
<p><br />My mom made single parenting look like a breeze. After my deadbeat dad took off and drained the family bank accounts, my mother worked two-night shift jobs and a swing shift so she was there for us kids in the daytime, and left after we were in bed. She never missed a soccer tournament, dance recital or swim meet. I don't know how in the world she managed.<br /><br />I remember one particularly hard night when she had to put on her "dad hat," because I was being a teeny-bop drama queen. After we verbally duked it out, she came and apologized to me for not making a better choice when it came to a spouse.<br /><br />She listened to you in the car religiously, and every milestone in my life was greeted by one of your books. At 17 years old, I was given "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Bad-Childhood-Good-Life-Blossom-Childhood/dp/0060577878" target="_blank">Bad Childhood, Good Life</a></em>;" at 18, I got "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Stupid-Things-Women-Their-Lives/dp/0060976497/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1499721099&sr=1-1&keywords=10+Stupid+Things+Women+Do+To+Mess+Up+Their+Lives">10 Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives</a></em>." At my engagement, guess what was there with the gifts? "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1499721125&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Proper+Care+and+Feeding+of+Husbands" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>!" And on our first anniversary, we got "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Marriage/dp/0061142824/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1499721152&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Proper+Care+and+Feeding+of+Marriage" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage</a></em>." I've started to read the rest of the books you wrote that I didn't get as gifts because I found the content immeasurably helpful and you advise sound. My sisters and I all grew up, moved out, and went on to professional careers and sound marriages. We're all homeowners, married to wonderful men, and we're just embarking on the adventure of motherhood together. <br /><br />This most recent Father's Day, I wrote my mother a thank you note for taking on the challenge of balancing motherhood AND fatherhood all by herself. Thank you too, Dr. Laura, for being the little voice in the back of my head telling me to never look back, enjoy the now and keep my family safe.<br /><br />Andrea</p>
<br /><br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-07-10T17:59:00Z
Feelings Follow Behavior
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Feelings-Follow-Behavior/224983823038636096.html
2017-06-30T17:59:00Z
2017-06-30T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I met my husband when I was 17 years old. From the moment we met, he's been deeply in love with me. We've been married for 19 years and have had numerous struggles. He has loved me and stood by me while I have tried to figure out why I was so unhappy with myself. Other men walked away from me before, but my husband has been there for me at all times.<br /><br />He has helped me see that my childhood doesn't dictate who I am now, and that any hurts from the past are just that - the past - and I don't have to carry them with me into the future. He has helped me be someone I feel good about, and I know that is in no small part thanks to you. He loves your program and takes to heart the advice that you give. His favorite saying of yours is "feelings follow behavior," and that little piece of wisdom has helped me more than I ever could have imagined. Thank you for your heart. You've helped to make me a better wife and mother.<br /><br />Ariel</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-06-30T17:59:00Z
Passing The Torch
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Passing-The-Torch/-691811330984177683.html
2017-06-29T17:59:00Z
2017-06-29T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My 21-year-old daughter has (somewhat begrudgingly) become a huge fan of yours. I introduced her to your show when I started listening to you again about a year ago. At first, she protested when we listened. You were "too harsh" or "too irritated" or "too mean." But slowly, she began to see the light, and now understands why I listened to you. She sees now why I chose to stay at home and raise all three of my children. And she agrees!<br /><br />She and I had a road trip together a few weeks ago, and she requested to listen to episodes of your show on demand on SiriusXM the entire time we were in the car. I love it! <br /><br />Thank you for being a moral compass for me from the time I was a young woman on the cusp of making decisions about my own future. I'm passing along the torch, and have faith that my daughter will stop and ask herself the question "what would Dr. Laura do?"<br /><br />Lou Lou</p>
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-06-29T17:59:00Z
I Hope My Son Will Look Back And Remember
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Hope-My-Son-Will-Look-Back-And-Remember/871515005028483959.html
2017-06-28T17:59:00Z
2017-06-28T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Earlier this month, I had my last walk to elementary school with my eleven-year-old son. As we walked, I told him some of the favorite memories I had walking with him (or taking him along when I walked his older siblings to school). Like the time he slid out the front of the stroller and I ran him over and then walked on him. Or the time he ran ahead of me and peed off the curb into the middle of a busy street, right in front of a police officer. Most of all, I'll remember that our mile walk to and from school gave us a chance to talk and laugh and teach and learn and solve problems. It was a time that I wasn't harping on him about chores or homework or nagging him about some other now-meaningless thing. It was an opportunity I gladly made time for each day that helped strengthen my relationship with this sweet, sweet boy.<br /> <br />I hope one day my son will look back and remember that, even though life was busy and his mom made tons of mistakes, she loved him enough to carve out an hour of quality time with him each day on our walks. I hope he realizes that those walks alone were worth the sacrifices we made for me to be a stay-at-home mom. I hope he remembers that even as a mature sixth-grader, he missed me on the rare occasions I couldn't walk and always asked "Mom, will you please walk with us tomorrow?" And I hope one day he realizes that sometimes that very question was the one thing that kept me going, knowing that my kids not only needed me but wanted me, too.<br /><br /><br />Kimberly</p>
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-06-28T17:59:00Z
The Secret To A Long Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Secret-To-A-Long-Marriage/83333322891204921.html
2017-06-27T17:59:00Z
2017-06-27T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Last year, I enrolled in a class at a local college titled "The Psychology of Women." I was 65 at the time, and totally retired from the US Air Force and a civilian job as well, so I take classes for fun and enjoyment. On the first day, I was only one of three men in this class of 40 students. I expected to be outnumbered, but I only hoped that it wasn't going to be a male-bashing class. Almost all of the students were between 18 and 21 (and some at first thought I was the teacher!). <br /><br />A month later, the instructor wanted to hear from one of the men as we discussed relationships. I volunteered that I was 65 years old and had been married to the same woman for 35 years. They applauded and asked what my secret was to such a long marriage. Here's what I told them: the day we were married, I promised to love, honor and cherish my wife, and that meant ALL THE TIME, not just when I felt like it. I still treat her like we're dating and look at her the same way as the day we met. We've never had an argument because she's always right and knows me like a book. My wife and my girlfriend have the same name and they both know about each other. I've always said that if you want to have an affair, do it with your spouse; it's so much easier, and you don't have to sneak around to hide anything! <br /><br />After that, the instructor said, "Wow, do you have any brothers?" Toward the end of the semester, one of the young women approached me and said she'd been trying to get her boyfriend to come to class just so he could hear me speak. My wife and I are now married for 36 years, and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't wrap my arms around her and let her know how wonderful she is.<br /><br />James</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-06-27T17:59:00Z
The Value Of An Intact Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Value-Of-An-Intact-Family/887514357826098612.html
2017-06-26T17:59:00Z
2017-06-26T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Ten years ago, you became an integral part of my life, when I was a stay-at-home mom to two boys. I turned on the radio every afternoon while prepping dinner, folding laundry or playing Candyland with my sons. Although I knew my husband and I made the right choice when I decided to take leave of my teaching job to stay home with my kids, there were times I felt like my days didn't have enough "purpose." Over time, you showed me how to revel in those moments with my children, like sticky kisses, impromptu dance parties, or even skinned knees. I also met my husband at the door with a smile and a kiss, or a look and a nudge of what was to come when the kids went to bed.<br /><br />My boys are in school full-time now, and I was fortunate enough to get a teaching position at the same school. They ride to school with me every morning, hang out in my classroom before and after school, and ride home with me every afternoon. To top it off, we have our summers free to play, explore and travel. And you, Dr. Laura, are now beaming through my phone's speakers, because my wonderful husband got me a subscription to your podcast since my new work schedule had me missing most of your daily broadcasts. <br /><br />I continue to value the lessons I've learned regarding the value of an intact family, the necessity of treating my husband like my boyfriend, and how to handle the various situations that pop up in raising kids. You're my mentor, my moral compass and that little voice on my shoulder that never goes away.<br /><br />Dana</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-06-26T17:59:00Z
Making The Difference For Others
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-The-Difference-For-Others/-643124736439720598.html
2017-06-23T17:59:00Z
2017-06-23T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I have been very active in keeping my son involved in doing service for others. Earlier this year on Earth Day, I grabbed two sets of gardening gloves and garbage bags and parked on the side of the road so we could pick up trash. We talked about littering and how wrong it is. I also explained to him (at six years of age) that if everyone did their part, how beautiful the world be. One day....one bag....one person...one hour, and two hands can clean up an amazing amount of space.<br /><br />We also volunteer at our local Cat Coalition once a week, cleaning, feeding and loving the kitties. My son loves THIS volunteer work the most. And once a year we participate in Toys for Tots, where he picks out toys for needy children. During his own toy cleanout, he picks from his collection of toys that he no longer uses and put them aside for a child who might like them. He has come to me outside of these times, too, offering to donate stuffed animals too. All those little things make a difference, not only for others but most of all in our own hearts.<br /><br />Janeen</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-06-23T17:59:00Z
Mom, I Am NOT A Snowflake
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mom,-I-Am-NOT-A-Snowflake/-608179153716835708.html
2017-06-22T17:59:00Z
2017-06-22T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My 9-year-old son has struggled with a series of behavior disorders and severe anxiety. We've worked very hard to get him to what I consider a good place. My husband thinks I'm being too "soft" on him, thinking I'm babying him or making him a "snowflake." <br /><br />This morning, my husband borrowed some money from my son and forgot to tell him. When my son saw the money was gone, he knew that Dad had probably taken it. When I asked him if he wanted me to say something to Dad, he calmly turned to me, looked me in the eyes, and said "Mom," I am NOT a snowflake. This is my money and my problem. I will deal with it." <br /><br />This made my heart soar because I worry constantly that he will struggle as he gets older and is out on his own. That one statement from him made me see that I am not raising a snowflake but a young man who is capable of handling his own problems most of the time without his mommy. I hear you often talk about raising a generation of snowflakes. Thank you for helping me raise a man instead.<br /><br />Kristi</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-06-22T17:59:00Z
I Have The Most Important Job In The World
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Have-The-Most-Important-Job-In-The-World/-457676109329025426.html
2017-06-21T17:59:00Z
2017-06-21T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I thought that if some of your working mom listeners heard this story, they might think twice about that decision.<br /><br />I was out walking and saw a small child (no more than two years old) sitting by herself in the dirt and crying. I looked around and saw three adult women just standing around talking to each other. There were 17 children in that small play area, who all looked like they were less than three years old. I kept walking, but was waiting for one of the caretakers to see to the little one. It never happened.<br /><br />I was never more sure of the decision my husband and I made for me to be the one at home giving love and attention to our kids. I've thought about that baby many times since that day, and am sad that she was left there unloved and uncared for. <br /><br />Thank you for your help in making stay-at-home moms like myself never lose faith in the reason we're doing what we are. I have the most important job in the world.<br /><br />Jenni</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-06-21T17:59:00Z
I'm Providing For My Child By Being A Full-Time Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Providing-For-My-Child-By-Being-A-Full-Time-Mother/886485068886242497.html
2017-06-20T17:59:00Z
2017-06-20T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />You are the only one, besides my mother, who makes me feel proud to be a stay-at-home mother. I haven't worked since my first daughter was born 22 years ago. <br /><br />Everyone around me kept saying that I'm a natural photographer and that I should start a business. At first, I felt terrible thinking that I wasn't providing financially for my family, but after listening to you, I realized that I WAS providing for my family by being a full-time mother. <br /><br />Now at fifty years of age, I'm reinventing myself a little. My last child is in high school, and when school is in session, between Noon and 3, I work on my photography business. I'm happy to have a chance to pursue my passion and still be my kids' mom to my teenager. Being able to share their special moments with them for all these years has filled me with warmth and love. Thank you for all your support for stay-at-home moms. <br /><br />Eve </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-06-20T17:59:00Z
Stop With Excuses, Start Living
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stop-With-Excuses,-Start-Living/-629253718974178897.html
2017-06-19T17:59:00Z
2017-06-19T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I spent most of my adult years making excuses for why I could keep staying fat. Listening to you daily has shown me that I have the choice as to whether or not this will be the life I want to continue to live.<br /><br />Once I had that epiphany, I changed my life. Within two years, I gained confidence, lost weight and found the voice within me I thought was long gone. I wanted to let others out there know that even when you feel like you cannot go another day in this life that you're living, you CAN! Now, instead of using my mouth to fill it with food, I use it to inspire others to do the same for themselves. Thank you for helping me realize that I always had the strength within me to follow this path all along.<br /><br />Alicia</p>
Staff
2017-06-19T17:59:00Z
The Impressions That Love Leaves Behind
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Impressions-That-Love-Leaves-Behind/-68330530336537447.html
2017-06-16T17:59:00Z
2017-06-16T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br />I was married for 33 years to a wonderful man, who sadly died of a massive heart attack at the age of 58 just a few months ago. I started to think about what I've learned about love, which I'd like to share with you and your listeners:<br /><br /></p>
<ol>
<li>If you're friends before you date, you won't have many "personality" surprises after marriage.</li>
<br />
<li>Choose a man who is already "father" material - not one who might be shocked into what fatherhood entails after a baby arrives.</li>
<br />
<li>Love is kind. Being kind to each other means putting the other person first, above your own needs and desires. </li>
<br />
<li>Make yourself attractive to your spouse. It shows you value their approval and you respect them enough to care about yourself.</li>
<br />
<li>Don't let the love light go out....ever.</li>
<br />
<li>Love is being patient with each other, because each of us is not always on our best behavior even when we love each other.</li>
<br />
<li>Love is never a 50/50 proposition - it has to be "all in" 100% on each side. If you're not giving each other 100% of yourself, you're not giving enough.</li>
<br />
<li>Love is being excited about what makes them excited - their hobbies and interests should be important to you.</li>
<br />
<li>Love is being on the same team in life together.</li>
<br />
<li>Love is long-term, forever, no matter what together. </li>
</ol>
<p><br />I lost the love of my life and my kids lost their wonderful father. He left an impression on all who knew him, and I've had the honor of being able to reflect on all the good that was in this man who I married when I was just 20 years old. So hold on to the good and let the chaff roll off your back, because someday they just might not be there anymore.<br /><br />Sandy</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-06-16T17:59:00Z
Kids Remember The Loving Moments
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Kids-Remember-The-Loving-Moments/-918166736070795840.html
2017-06-15T17:59:00Z
2017-06-15T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My parents recently celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary. I can't tell you how many times my sisters and I witnessed them holding hands across the center console in the car as we drove from one place to another. They hold hands when we go for walks in the neighborhood, on the beach, with their grandchildren, or quietly walking alone. Despite my mom's avoidance of the camera, my sisters and I have always snapped pictures of these walks and the romantic little kisses between our Mom and Dad that usually accompanied them. They've never seen most of these photos, but these are memories for us kids that we choose to treasure. <br /><br />My Dad has a lighthearted, loving, and funny approach to life. He found creative approaches to getting his youngest grandchild to take a nap, and he's shopped willingly for "duck dog toys" so he could run a Halloween race with his daughters and sons-in-law in a "Mighty Ducks"-themed costume. My sisters and I are all married, and we look to our parents for inspiration from the beautiful marriage they have created and that has endured.<br /><br />To all the parents out there - kids do see and remember these moments! <br /><br />Stephanie</p>
Staff
2017-06-15T17:59:00Z
I Channel You When I Talk To My Daughter
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Channel-You-When-I-Talk-To-My-Daughter/-482364010862241988.html
2017-06-14T17:59:00Z
2017-06-14T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />My 21-year-old daughter came to me today in tears. She has to quit her part-time job, because she found a better one, but she doesn't want her boss to hate her, to make people mad, or to disappoint anyone.<br /><br />I channeled you when I talked to her, because I often hear your voice and words in my head a lot during difficult times. I said to her that there would always be someone who would be mad at her, often with no good reason. I told her that her dad and I would be disappointed if she quit without notice or behaved badly when she did. Intellectually, this was going to be a good change for her, and she shouldn't let her emotions "talk" her out of making the right decision. Then I asked her what the worst possible thing that might happen was when she gives notice. We talked through several scenarios and how to handle each one if it happened. Finally, I told her she could sigh, agonize, and whine about this for 30 more minutes, but then she had to take a deep breath and move on. <br /><br />I think all those years of listening to you enabled me to help my daughter in a productive and positive way. I hope you have many more years of programming your words into my brain!<br /><br />Rhea </p>
Staff
2017-06-14T17:59:00Z
An Unexpected Surprise On The Airwaves
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/An-Unexpected-Surprise-On-The-Airwaves/-878461478353149153.html
2017-06-13T17:59:00Z
2017-06-13T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Hi Mother Laura:<br /><br />When I was 17, I got my private pilot's license. One evening, the strangest thing happened - your talk show could be heard over the radio in the cockpit! I was expecting a weather update, but instead heard you call someone an "unpaid whore!" The next caller you encouraged to be a stay-at-home mom.<br /><br />Fast forward twelve years, and I AM a stay-at-home mom and have never been a whore, paid or unpaid. I knew I was going to be a stay-at-home mom because I knew what it was like to not have a mom around. Many days, my dad was absent as well. I spent many days alone in a house with only my dogs. How any woman could put more value on a career over her own child boggles my mind. <br /><br />Being able to give to my kids what I didn't have is wonderful, and that's why I'm so sure my role is incredibly important. It's encouraging to hear you talk about the importance and value of being a wife, mother, and girlfriend. How sad it is for the women who don't know what they're missing.<br /><br />Lots of hugs and smiles,<br /><br />Nichole</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-06-13T17:59:00Z
That Was Awesome
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/That-Was-Awesome/16439729295393254.html
2017-06-12T17:59:00Z
2017-06-12T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm a 61-year-old man who was taught to treat my wife with love and respect (just as you remind us to do on your radio program!). <br /><br />I was sitting in a fast food parking lot when I saw a 70ish-year-old man walk to his car and open the door for his wife. What struck me was that they likely have been married for close to fifty years, and he STILL opened the door for her!<br /><br />You could see a very deep love in the eyes of both of them. MY eyes misted up watching them, and as he walked around to his side of the car, I couldn't help but smile at him and say to him "that was awesome!"<br /><br />I know that when my wife and I are that old, we will still be in love, and I will still open the door for her.<br /><br />Please stay on your soap box. You stand on the high moral ground, and we need you!<br /><br />Bill </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-06-12T17:59:00Z
The Value Of A Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Value-Of-A-Mother/-314015252142039350.html
2017-06-09T17:59:00Z
2017-06-09T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Almost 20 years ago, my then one-year-old son was taken care of by my mother-in-law while my wife and I worked. I started listening to you around that time and was mesmerized at your insight on family dynamics and relationships in general, particularly about the effect the absence of a mother makes on the development of a child like ours. It impacted me so much that I lost sleep over it, and finally told my wife that I couldn't have our son not be with his mom during these critical years. I told her she needed to quit her job and I would take care of us.<br /><br />I was scared out of my mind. I was 27 years old then and didn't know how I was going to do it, but I knew it was the right thing to do. We've made many sacrifices financially since then, and gone through many ups and downs. My career had the same trajectory, including a devastating layoff and my having to work at multiple jobs (including delivering newspapers at 4 AM), but it has all been worth it.<br /><br />We have five children at home, none of whom has ever been in daycare. I've done everything I can to provide for my family, and I've been scared every step of the way, but have never wavered in my determination, because seeing the decent, thoughtful, caring individuals they have become has made it all worthwhile. <br /><br />Twenty years ago, you touched the life of a young man trying to do the right thing in this world. I now understand that career, house, cars and savings accounts won't visit our graves when we're gone, but the family and legacy my wife and I have created will live on. Your words do not fall on deaf ears, Dr. Laura, and I'm a better man because you reached me all those years ago.<br /><br /><br />Julian </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-06-09T17:59:00Z
Contributing To Something Bigger Than Yourself
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Contributing-To-Something-Bigger-Than-Yourself/594686075188270181.html
2017-06-08T17:59:00Z
2017-06-08T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am a 34-year-old mother of an 8-year-old daughter. I was raised by working parents, who instilled in me the value of hard work and the importance of a career. I became a pharmacist, but even in school, I felt conflicted about how I would juggle being a great pharmacist and a great mom too. Nevertheless, I persisted and graduated with honors.<br /><br />I married and had my daughter. I cut down to three days of work per week, and it never crossed my mind that I should quit altogether. I justified my daughter being in daycare since it was only three days a week. Finally, I made the decision to quit work, as I wanted to be there fully for her. That's when I started listening to your program. I wished I would have found you years ago. <br /><br />I know I get judged by people for having such an "<em>easy</em>" life, staying at home with one school-aged child, but I know this is where I was meant to be. Not only do I cherish our time together, but I've found that I have grown a lot by being at home with her. I have the time to teach her about helping others, and we've even started volunteering together in the community (something I would never have had time for in the past). <br /><br />Women need to hear that they are not giving up themselves by staying home. In fact, they're contributing to something much bigger than themselves or any career they may have had. They are raising kind, thoughtful children, and creating a loving, nurturing home for their families. What could be more important than that?<br /><br />Kirsten</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-06-08T17:59:00Z
'Mothers' In Other Women
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mothers-In-Other-Women/256788893969209433.html
2017-06-07T17:59:00Z
2017-06-07T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I started listening to you in my mid-twenties when I was naïve and lost. I didn't think the values you talked about existed. When you asked women who had chosen disrespectful, abusive men why they chose them, MY answer was that I didn't believe there was anything better out there. My mother had three husbands, one of whom molested me. She's now on her fourth marriage, and I cut her out of my life last year.<br /><br />In the past 15 years, I've finally changed many things about my life. I learned through listening to you that there really is a world of people who are healthy with real value systems. That helped me to find a strong and kind man to marry, and we have a two-year-old child. Thank you for showing me it IS possible to choose wisely and treat kindly.<br /><br />I've had some sad and difficult feelings about letting go of my mother, but someone once told me that "everyone has mothers who show up in their life in different ways at different times." She said I'd find "mothers" in other women that I chose to let in my life. Well, you're one of my most important mothers. Thank you for helping me get to a point where I have made healthy choices and now have an amazing little family.<br /><br />Mariah</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-06-07T17:59:00Z
Learning How To Have A Good Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-How-To-Have-A-Good-Marriage/-555811648718532669.html
2017-06-06T17:59:00Z
2017-06-06T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I know that my husband and I managed to escape the statistics - our marriage should never have worked. When we met, he was just out of a bad marriage, we were both on active duty, and he had two minor children. I was 23 and never married with no kids. We married anyway and were able to get custody of the two children a few years into our marriage. Was it easy? Hell no. Were there challenges? Hell, yes! But after 26 years of marriage, I'm proud of our longevity and the fact that we beat the overwhelming odds against us.<br /><br />He is currently on a project that takes him out of the area for the next few months. Yesterday, I came home to a surprise package for me with a beautiful gift inside. I discovered your program after we first got married, and we've listened for the entire time since then. We learned from you what we had to do to HAVE a good marriage. My stepsons waited until they were 30 to get married so they would statistically increase the likelihood of a successful union.<br /><br />Thank you for adjusting my moral compass and my attitude over these many years. You have helped change my family's life.<br /><br />Rhiannon</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-06-06T17:59:00Z
How A Child REALLY Feels In Childcare
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-A-Child-REALLY-Feels-In-Childcare/-436397074265253833.html
2017-06-05T17:59:00Z
2017-06-05T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Several days a week, my two-year-old daughter and I go to the gym together while my older kids are at school. They have a childcare room where you can leave the kids while you run on the treadmill or take a spinning class. She is never out of my sight for more than an hour, and I always check in with her to make sure she's okay.<br /><br />The other day I asked her if she liked the "kids' gym" that day (that's our name for the place). Suddenly, her lip curled, she looked at me intensely, and said: "Mommy, they no talk me, the lady and babies are mad me." In her two-year-old language, she was telling me that she was ignored, and therefore she interpreted it as their being mad at her. I realized in that moment that she is so used to the love and affection from our doting family of six that this situation was totally foreign and confusing to her. The ladies in the childcare room at the gym were too busy to talk to her, and she felt it. <br /><br />I thought of how you use the words "no love" regarding childcare arrangements, and that is exactly what it is. I just would never have expected a two-year-old to express it. <br /> <br />Melanie</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-06-05T17:59:00Z
Done With Daycare
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Done-With-Daycare/712335842336194432.html
2017-06-02T17:59:00Z
2017-06-02T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Since my son was 6 months old, my wife and I have had him in daycare. We ignored your advice, and we thought daycare would be just fine. We were both working, he'd be with good teachers, and we would get email updates and pictures from the "school," and he'd make friends. We easily bought into that thinking. But today, we decided to liberate our son from his toddler prison, grant him parole, and have him stay home with the best role model he has - his caring mother and my loving wife. <br /><br />It was a slow process to get to today. My wife was laid off from her job and wanted to get another one; our son was well adjusted and enjoying going to daycare. In between applying for new jobs, my wife started spending more time at the daycare when she went to get our son. She started to notice the cold, uncaring, unloving institutional side of daycare. We weren't happy about it, and we heard you nagging about it, but we still kept our son there. Finally, one day, our son told us he didn't want to go anymore. We found out another kid was pushing him. The daycare staff did nothing about it, and finally, our son begged me not to leave him. I felt like the worst father ever and my wife and I immediately agreed we were done with daycare. My son is now home, smiling, laughing and playing, with his mother always nearby. Thanks for never letting up and for encouraging us to do the right thing, no matter how long it takes!<br /><br />Fred</p>
Staff
2017-06-02T17:59:00Z
I Love Being A Grandma
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Love-Being-A-Grandma/-254604418886015138.html
2017-06-01T17:59:00Z
2017-06-01T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />People keep saying that being a grandparent is better than being a parent, but I don't agree. I love being Grandma, and my husband loves being Grandpa, but the joy of raising our daughter can't be surpassed. However, our current reward is two wonderful little boys who we get to spend time with. <br /><br />One day, when our oldest grandson was about four years old, he was playing outside, and I heard him walking around and kind of talking to himself. He was saying "I can't do anything right." Naturally, I was very concerned, so I asked him "Whatever gave you the idea that you can't do anything right?" Without a pause, he said "I'm being Charlie Brown." I told him he was doing a good job of being Charlie Brown, and I smiled. Now his younger brother is also four years old, and he says as many funny things as his brother did at that age. It makes grandparenting a lot of fun.<br /><br />Deborah</p>
Staff
2017-06-01T17:59:00Z
Focusing On The Goal
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Focusing-On-The-Goal/-346262076152604353.html
2017-05-31T17:59:00Z
2017-05-31T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Not long ago, I heard a woman call you to ask if she should have kids since she had an abusive childhood. As the mother of three very well-adjusted, kind, talented young adults, I want to encourage those like that woman to continue to be purposeful about learning about parenting and about yourselves. I had a pretty bad childhood, but I was able to spend time with friends' <em>good </em>families while I was growing up. Now, I always recall your adage that you have two chances for a good parent/child relationship. I clung to that after I married and started having children. <br /><br />My husband and I have made sure we have a good, supportive family. We have gone to the same church for 25 years, and they have good programs for children. I've noticed that the well-adjusted kids pay close attention to their parents. While I was learning to get past my poor childhood experience, I worked with good therapists, studied child rearing, took classes and focused on my kids and family by staying home with them instead of working. Thanks to your urging and reinforcement, I learned to control my own hurt and anger, and give my kids the childhood they deserved. So to anyone who wonders if they can move beyond an abusive childhood, I say yes! You CAN become a good mother. You just have to keep your eyes focused on the goal. <br /><br />Lori</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-31T17:59:00Z
We Still Hold Hands
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Still-Hold-Hands/678218095408419014.html
2017-05-30T17:59:00Z
2017-05-30T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband and I have been married for 24 years, raised two boys, and after more than a decade of listening to you and following your advice about how to properly treat a husband, I'm proud to report that I am my husband's girlfriend and he's my boyfriend! <br /><br />I'm 49 and he's 52, and we still hold hands when we're out walking. We always give each other a goodnight kiss, because it's hard to stay mad at someone who wants to kiss you before you go to sleep. We treat each other respectfully and kindly.<br /><br />One of the reasons I have kept acting like a girlfriend is that I like to believe he still adores me like he did when we were dating. And I get it back from him tenfold. <br /><br />Your advice in the <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a> really works, and my husband and I prove that every day.<br /> <br /><br />Glenda</p>
Staff
2017-05-30T17:59:00Z
Moving On Together
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Moving-On-Together/-675259244511222824.html
2017-05-26T17:59:00Z
2017-05-26T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:</p>
A friend and I had a falling out, and we just stopped talking to each other. I had recently lost my mother, and a year later, her father passed away.<br /><br />Once I learned that she lost her father, I called her. I told her I didn't care anymore what happened between the two of us, I didn't need an apology and I wasn't going to give one either. All I knew was that she was going through something difficult and I wanted to be there for her. The old argument was no longer important, because it just didn't matter anymore.<br /><br />Since that time, we have laughed, cried and have rekindled the friendship that we almost let completely die. I'm happy we're able to move forward together again as friends. <br /><br />Arianne <br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-26T17:59:00Z
You Help Me Stand Up For Myself
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Help-Me-Stand-Up-For-Myself/356842585319192348.html
2017-05-25T17:59:00Z
2017-05-25T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />It wasn't until I started listening to you four years ago that I realized it was okay that I wanted my career to be that of a stay-at-home-mom. I was working as a dog trainer but I always knew I wanted to have babies, and to stay at home to raise them and take care of my man.<br /><br />When I met my husband, we both realized that we wanted a lot of the same things. Recently, I had my first Mother's Day, and after endlessly spoiling me all day, my husband looked at me lovingly and said "<em>I appreciate that you take care of our house, but I'll never complain about a mess. It means the world to me that you take care of our little girl every day.</em>" My husband and I were both raised by babysitters and are determined to give our children a childhood full of FAMILY and fun memories.<br /><br />You helped me pick an amazing man to be by husband and best friend. You give me the courage every day to stand up myself when I'm questioned on what I "<em>do</em>" all day, or when am I going back to work? I have the best job in the world. I'll continue to listen to you and hopefully you will help me keep my sanity, because the toddler years are coming soon!<br /><br />Skyler</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-25T17:59:00Z
I Love You, Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Love-You,-Mom/-709814070928843939.html
2017-05-24T17:59:00Z
2017-05-24T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I wanted to share this post my son wrote for me on Mother's Day - it was the best present I could have received!<br /><em> </em></p>
<blockquote><em>Today, I honor my mother Nancy. She's a very easy person to love. She carried me for 9 months before I was born, making healthy decisions from eating right to sleeping well to maintaining high spirits, all of which were for my benefit. She then nurtured me as an infant, always putting my needs above her own. Through my adolescence, she supported all my endeavors - academically, socially and personally. When I left home for college, I was always welcomed home with open arms, and we have remained close ever since. In my adult life, she's been one of my best friends - always there to talk to me at any time of day or night. And there's never a question in my mind about the quality of the advice she gives. To say I wouldn't be where I am today without my mother is an understatement. I owe my life to her, many, many times over. What a blessing to have such a positive, uplifting, altruistic guide watching over me. I love you, mom!</em></blockquote>
<br />And thank YOU, Dr. Laura for your guidance and good advice on raising good children!<br /><br />Warmly,<br /><br />Nancy
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-24T17:59:00Z
The BEST Anniversary Gift
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-BEST-Anniversary-Gift/859493759182522386.html
2017-05-23T17:59:00Z
2017-05-23T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />On our 25th wedding anniversary, our 21-year-old daughter wrote the following note to my husband and me:<br /><em> </em></p>
<blockquote><em>I cannot possibly express my gratitude to you both in a card, as the wonderful opportunity-filled lives my siblings and I lead are all thanks to your relationship. Mom, you once told me that sharing my life with you is all the thanks you needed. And now, as life is changing and I'm graduating from college, I find comfort in knowing that our family will always be close, and no matter what changes, we will all find time to gather back together.<br /></em><br /><em>I imagine marriage has its difficult periods, but I admire the commitment to each other that the two of you have, as well as the mutual respect, and the ability to find humor in the good and the bad. </em><br /><br /><em>I love you both and hope the years to come are even better than the ones gone by.</em></blockquote>
<br />Angela
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-23T17:59:00Z
Don't Call Dr. Laura On Me!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dont-Call-Dr.-Laura-On-Me!/-79058588160113653.html
2017-05-22T17:59:00Z
2017-05-22T17:59:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm a 38-year-old stay-at-home mom to two children. We adopted our oldest when he was three days old. He has been a joy and I find him hilarious much of the time (he's 8 years old). He attends a charter school, where they stress good character, values, and morals. On Fridays, the students get a "<em>character card</em>" sent home with them for parents to review. There's a star sticker on the card if the child met the characteristics of a good student citizen that week. If the child didn't live up to those, there's a mark in red on the days that didn't happen. <br /><br />My son handed his card with two red marks on it over to me one Friday. He was upset and was hanging his head. I asked him calmly why he wasn't a responsible student on those two days that had red marks on them. He explained that he had not turned in some of his homework, and he knew it was his responsibility to do so, and he had just failed on those days. I knelt down in front of him and told him how proud I was of him. He looked confused, so I explained that although he wasn't responsible those days, he possessed and achieved all the other characteristics of a good student/citizen. He was honest, respectful, and more. He smiled from ear to ear and hugged me, then he said: "<em>I'm going to try harder so that you don't have to call Dr. Laura on me!</em>" He hasn't gotten a red mark on his card since.<br /><br />Kelsey</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-22T17:59:00Z
Keep Dating
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keep-Dating/-32176070438379991.html
2017-05-19T17:59:00Z
2017-05-19T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I was thinking recently about how my husband and I continued to make each other happy after 24 years of marriage.<br /><br />Simple answer: we just keep on "dating" all the time! We kiss, hold hands, and talk forever about all kind of things (especially the kids). We still dream, we laugh, and we do "little" things for each other. We tease each other, and each year when it's our anniversary, we are very proud of ourselves that we've still got "<em>heat</em>" for each other! <br /><br />And we both listen to you, Dr. Laura - every day! We wouldn't have it any other way.<br /><br />With warm wishes,<br /><br />Cynthia </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-19T17:59:00Z
I Will Be My Son's Full-Time Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Will-Be-My-Sons-Full-Time-Mom/219408633574867404.html
2017-05-18T17:59:00Z
2017-05-18T17:59:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm sitting here writing as my one-year-old son naps. I'm waiting for him to wake up so that I can be the one who goes in to pick him up, greet him, and cradle him in my arms. I'm excited to have the ability to spend the remainder of the afternoon with him. I love that we can play, sit in the backyard and listen to the birds. I'm able to read him books and feed him his meals. He still nurses every few hours, and those moments of bonding are unbelievably precious.<br /><br />In my early 20s, I was in full career mode. I have a bachelor's degree in engineering, a Master's in engineering, and an MBA. Before my husband and I decided to start our family, I listened to your show on my drive home from work and on road trips. You began instilling in me the importance of being the person who nurtures your baby every single day. What made the most sense and really struck home for me was when I heard you say: "How do you expect to have energy for your children, husband, and home when you've already given your energy to your employer?" From that moment onward, I knew that I would be my son's full-time mom. I would be the face he sees when he wakes up from a nap, and I'd be there every second to nurture him.<br /><br />And today, I am. I have you to thank for that. Thanks for being the constant voice in my head, and the one that put me on the right track to be the best mother and wife possible.<br /><br />The world needs more Dr. Lauras!!<br /><br />Anastasia</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-18T17:59:00Z
Humor Is The Best Medicine
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Humor-Is-The-Best-Medicine/995019392570127298.html
2017-05-17T17:59:00Z
2017-05-17T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My family has always used humor when facing a challenge, and it turns out we've surrounded ourselves with others who do the same. My mother had a single mastectomy when she was diagnosed with breast cancer 20 years ago. She decided not to have reconstructive surgery and went on to enjoy her life.<br /><br />Several years ago, she and my father were boating on a local lake with some friends. It was during Spring Break, and they were astonished by the outrageous behavior of some of the young women on nearby boats - specifically that they were lifting their shirts to "flash" passing boats. They all had a good laugh when one of my parents' friends commented that those young people would get quite a shock if the over 60-year-old women on their boat flashed them, giving them a dose of reality as to what their futures might look like! Then the friend added that they'd have to drive by twice so my mother could enjoy full participation in the joke. There were some puzzled looks until it sunk in, and my Mom said she laughed so hard she couldn't catch her breath. Humor really is good medicine and makes life so much more bearable!<br /><br />Carly</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-17T17:59:00Z
Thank Goodness for Grandparents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-Goodness-for-Grandparents/-52480469266981643.html
2017-05-16T17:59:00Z
2017-05-16T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I recently read an article on a local news site that made me angry. It essentially said that it's not safe to have grandparents take care of their grandchildren because their methods are not up-to-date! It suggested that kids are better off in a daycare environment where the staff is trained in the proper childcare techniques and emergency procedures. What an insulting story for all the grandparents who babysit their grandkids as well as those who are raising their grandchildren. <br /><br />I am proud to say that I am my kids' mom, but there was a time when my husband and I had some very hard financial times and I temporarily had to go back to work. I was lucky enough to have parents who were close by who love my children with all their hearts. My parents helped us through a tough time and I was soon able to go back to being a stay-at-home mom. I think their role in my kids' lives has been essential and I cannot thank them enough for all that they have done for our family. Thank goodness for grandparents.<br /><br />Leigh</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-16T17:59:00Z
Helping Me To Be A Better Person
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Helping-Me-To-Be-A-Better-Person/-204535134272660264.html
2017-05-15T17:59:00Z
2017-05-15T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am a liberal feminist and I love your show! I've listened for several years and you may be surprised to hear that I agree with most of your opinions. Even when I disagree with you, I understand your viewpoint. I admire how thoughtful and passionate you are even when my perspective is different from yours. Your advice has helped me a lot with my marriage and enhanced my ability to be nurturing and giving with my husband.<br /><br />I grew up feeling proud of my intellect, independence, advanced education and career. After I got married and became a mother, I learned how to value other aspects of my personality. Now my roles of wife and mother come first, and you have helped me to be proud of that. My first priority is family, and I always keep that as a guiding principle in my life. <br /><br />I love your advice to younger women, telling them not to settle and to have the courage to walk away from a bad relationship. I work on a college campus with millennials, and they aren't as bad as the media makes them out to be (don't worry - I only work while my child is in school). My students are respectful and open-minded, and they don't need "therapy goats" or "safe rooms" to cry in. They make me feel proud and hopeful for the future. <br /><br />Thank you for helping me to be a better person. I really value your show, and your perspective on life and relationships. I hope you stay on-the-air for years to come!<br /><br />Carey</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-15T17:59:00Z
One Of My Greatest Achievements In Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/One-Of-My-Greatest-Achievements-In-Life/-40112753686448918.html
2017-05-12T17:59:00Z
2017-05-12T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I had a full-time successful career before I decided to quit to stay home to raise our five-month-old daughter. You often talk about breastfeeding as one of the many reasons why staying at home with your baby is important. I had every intention of exclusively breastfeeding prior to her birth, but I was unable to pump enough milk for her. Now she is on formula only.<br /><br />I still believe, however, that we share important bonding every time she eats. Each time I feed her a bottle, we grow a little closer. I love the cuddles we share and the joy in her face every time she eats. At first, I thought it was such a waste that I wasn't working and not breastfeeding since there are so many moms who breastfeed successfully but then go back to work and struggle. I have since realized that it's just as important that I'm the one providing her with feedings even if they're coming from a bottle filled with formula. Her meals are an important bonding time for us together, so this isn't a task I should be handing over to hired help. I certainly wouldn't hire someone to sit down with my daughter and husband for dinner every night to replace me! <br /><br />My husband loves that I stay home with our daughter, and he always tells me how important this is to our family. Even though we have been budgeting carefully, he says it's important we continue to keep our SiriusXM subscription current so I can keep listening to you! You have influenced my decision to be a proud stay-at-home Mom, and I'm discovering it to be one of my greatest achievements in life.<br /><br />Agnes</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-12T17:59:00Z
Wives Don't Say Those Things
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Wives-Dont-Say-Those-Things/-410053258063440682.html
2017-05-11T17:59:00Z
2017-05-11T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />The other evening my husband was doing some landscaping in our yard. I ran out to check it out, and yelled: “Babe, it looks perfect!” Our neighbor, who is in his forties (we’re in our thirties) overheard me and chimed in, saying to my husband “You better record that – she told you it was perfect, and wives don’t say those things!” My husband chuckled and turned to me quietly to say “I don’t think he is happy in his marriage.”<br /><br />I was shocked and instantly thought of you, Dr. Laura! I am tempted to leave my copy of “<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>” for my neighbor’s wife in their mailbox with a note saying “READ THIS!!” Not that I ever doubted your advice, but it was pretty cool to see the fruits of your wisdom right in front of my face!<br /><br />Dinah</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-11T17:59:00Z
Not Everything Can Be Fixed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Not-Everything-Can-Be-Fixed/-6371831991632205.html
2017-05-10T17:59:00Z
2017-05-10T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I recently heard you with a caller whose sister was suffering from many mental issues and became homeless. Your caller gave her $2,000. What struck me about the call is that I had been like the helping sister until I finally came to my senses.<br /><br />I am 40 years old. My father died twelve years ago, my mother died in 2012, and my brother was a drug addict. I tried very hard to help my brother after our mother died, but I had to give up after a year because he wouldn't accept any help. Four years later, I received a call that he had died of a drug overdose. Since then, I went through feelings of loss, guilt, sadness and denial, but ultimately the biggest realization I came to is that there was literally nothing I could have done to save him. That call was going to come not matter what I did or did not do. <br /><br />With the support of my loving husband and many friends and family, I was able to build a happy life for myself in spite of so much loss that I have endured. My hope in sharing this small part of my story with you from the other side of what people may be in the middle of right now, is that you are correct - not everything can be fixed. <br /><br />Thank you for all you do.<br /><br />Lisa</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-10T17:59:00Z
I Was There For The Good And The Bad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Was-There-For-The-Good-And-The-Bad/-49525032364525324.html
2017-05-09T17:59:00Z
2017-05-09T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />It was hard being a stay-at-home mom for the first few years. I was a big advertising executive, and now I was changing smelly diapers, with no secretary to do what I asked. You and my husband were among the only people who gave me credit for doing what I was doing.<br /><br />Please tell all the struggling stay-at-home moms that they might not get rewards now, but wait until their kids graduate from high school. When my son graduated, many of the moms were crying, because they "<em>lost out</em>" on all the time that was gone. They were upset because they couldn't go back and spend the time with their kids that they had missed out on. I was crying, too, but not for the same reason. I was crying because I DID spend that time with him and didn't miss out on a minute. I was there for all the good times and bad times, and I wouldn't trade them for anything.<br /><br />Some moms said they wanted their daughters to be proud of them because they were working women. But the daughters told me they didn't WANT a CEO - they just wanted a mom. When my son walked down the aisle to receive his diploma, I didn't have regrets for the time I couldn't get back. My son will graduate from college in a few weeks, and I'll cry again, not for lost memories, but for knowing I had something to do with who he is today. <br /><br />Kara</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-09T17:59:00Z
The Greatest Gift Of All
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Greatest-Gift-Of-All/-765224053773092759.html
2017-05-08T17:59:00Z
2017-05-08T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />As Mother's Day is fast approaching, I thought this would be the perfect time to share a valuable lesson I learned many years ago on another Mother's Day. My three kids presented me with special gifts they had made in school, but my husband of ten years didn't do anything special - no flowers, no candy, nothing. My feelings were hurt, and I decided on a bit of revenge. When Father's Day arrived, I also did nothing, but he didn't even notice!<br /><br />Since then, I lowered my expectations. I expect nothing on holidays and that has made all the difference. Why? I have been showered with flowers, jewelry, lovely vacations, poems, love notes and so much more - not on Mother's Day, but on many days throughout the year that he feels like showing me how much he loves me.<br /><br />We've now been married for 45 years, and every day, I get to wake up next to my lover and best friend, and that's the greatest gift of all. <br /><br />Patricia</p>
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-08T17:59:00Z
The Decisions That Shaped Our Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Decisions-That-Shaped-Our-Home/-573864877524536057.html
2017-05-05T17:59:00Z
2017-05-05T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I want to thank you for a life-recognizing moment! Last week, my daughter called you about an issue with her sister-in-law. She painted the picture, and you said "You come from a warm, loving family," and my ears grew deaf to what else was said.<br /><br />I got married at 17 and my husband was 22. His father died when he was an infant, and my parents divorced when I was 4. Once the reality of our actions slapped us in the face, my husband and I agreed our baby was our priority. 32 years later, I've had 8 kids and 32 years of staying home with them. <br /><br />Two decisions shaped our home. First, my husband told me early on that he made a pact with himself that if the kids asked him to do an activity, he would make every effort to do it. He played ball, made pancakes, taught them to ride bikes and how to fish. He always stepped up to the plate. Second, our home was an alcohol-free zone, and that has served us well. I believe it's harder to step out of bounds as a kid when your parents are "in bounds."<br /><br />However, your saying that we were a warm, loving family was better than receiving an Emmy or an Oscar! Our hard work has paid off. Thank you so much for helping me see that even with my mistakes, I'm doing something right!<br /><br />Sheila </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-05T17:59:00Z
I'm Proud Of My Job Title
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Proud-Of-My-Job-Title/433338714131249519.html
2017-05-04T17:59:00Z
2017-05-04T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Thank you for your amazing book, "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0061690309/noxsolutions-20/ref=nosim" target="_blank">In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms</a></em>." Since becoming a stay-at-home mom two years ago, this is the first time another person (not including my very supportive husband) has made me feel powerful in my choice to stay at home and raise my kids.<br /><br />Up until now, I've always felt in "defense mode" when I tell people I stay at home - and for good reason! I've gotten many negative, passive-aggressive comments about it, with people telling me they could never do that because they would feel diminished and demeaned by doing so. I always felt like I had to explain to others that I actually work harder than I did when I was a working mom. <br /><br />For the first time, thanks to you, I feel proud of my job title as "Stay-at-Home-Mom," and I want to shout to the universe that it is the best job in the world. Choosing a husband who is willing to work even harder to support his family has certainly helped too. Being a stay-at-home mom makes me feel powerful, and I'm happy to say that out loud to whoever will listen!<br /><br />Jayne </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-04T17:59:00Z
Keeping Your Eye On The Prize
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-Your-Eye-On-The-Prize/-284465892870702275.html
2017-05-03T17:59:00Z
2017-05-03T17:59:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura:<br /><br />After 35 years, I am still my husband's girlfriend, my kids' mom, and my grandkids' grandmom. If people would be honest with themselves, take your advice and really look within, you would be out of business!<br /><br />When our children left home, I knew it was up to me to assure that my husband and I grew<em> together</em>, not apart. I became his biggest cheerleader when he told me there was a promotion he really wanted. Instead of complaining, because it meant he would travel a lot for a few months, I took the opportunity to travel to where he was for a few romantic weekends. On the weekends he was home, I made sure he enjoyed a relaxing few days, and I sent him off on Sunday night with clean clothes, and an excellent home-cooked meal before he left. I called him to see how his day went and reminded him that whatever the obstacles, he needed to keep his eye on the prize. In the end, he did not get the promotion, but we got much more.<br /><br />"Keep your eye on the prize" has become one of his favorite "go-to" sayings when discussing career obstacles with our sons. He encourages our daughters-in-law to follow my lead and be a pivotal part in their husbands' success and not a hindrance. As a result, we have a stronger marriage, our three sons have stronger marriages, and we have a house full of secure, well-loved grandchildren. A good home like this is possible....IF you are willing to do the work and "keep your eye on the prize!"<br /><br />Thank you for all you do.<br /><br />Cassidy</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-03T17:59:00Z
My Most Important Job
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Most-Important-Job/-618411711195123384.html
2017-05-02T17:59:00Z
2017-05-02T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've been a stay-at-home mother for 17 years. I have three degrees - two undergraduate, and one MBA, but my most important job has just been "Mom." These days, it seems that once kids are of school age, many mothers think they need to "seize the moment" and get back into the workforce, but I've found that even though kids are in school full time, a mother's role doesn't end. In fact, it just increases!<br /><br />Though I often now refer to myself as a "stay-in-the-car mom" driving them everywhere, the kids know what to expect from me. "Mom" is always at home attending to the household, the milk is never sour, and family meals are prepared most nights when we eat <strong><em>together</em></strong> at the table - even if it's just spaghetti or tacos. It might seem kind of "June Cleaver-ish" to some, but the kids are well-adjusted, good students, and pretty drama-free. Sure, we have typical teenage growing pains, but no parent can survive the teen years without the kids testing the waters. <br /><br />It's not easy to be a stay-at-home parent. I've been a source of stability our family has needed. My husband frequently travels for his job, and we have no local family support, so there's no "backup" childcare. But I haven't regretted the decision to stay home - not even once. <br /><br />Thank you for lending moms at home a little pat on the back and reaffirming our important role as mothers. My best wishes to you, especially as Mother's Day approaches.<br /><br />A new listener,<br /><br /><br />Jennifer</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-02T17:59:00Z
Just Be Sweet To Him
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Just-Be-Sweet-To-Him/-132470581956611667.html
2017-05-01T17:59:00Z
2017-05-01T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've always had a wonderful relationship with my husband. Recently he's had to work overtime a lot, doing 12 hour workdays for more than a week. We've been so busy and he's been working so much that I've started to feel underappreciated and even ignored by him. In my true "womanly" fashion, I grew cranky and frustrated with him, giving him short "pissy" answers to anything he asked. I was getting mad at him for not paying attention to me.<br /><br />I realized that I was fed up, cranky, and taking it out on him. So I took a day to "release" myself from my "to do" list, and went to the gym, got a pedicure, and came home. I continued my pampering by turning on your show and giving myself a facial. I heard you talk to a woman about how she just needed to be sweet to her husband and do something to make him happy that he was married to her. I've heard you say this a million times, but for some reason that day, it really "clicked" with me. <br /><br />Having had a relaxing day, I decided it would be nice for me to give that to my husband. When he got home from work, I filled a basin with hot water and essential oils and soaked his feet. I massaged them with oil and lotion, and I could see the stress of the day melting away into the couch! I made dinner, and then put him to bed early so he could get some much-needed rest. Right before I tucked him in, he turned to me, hugged me and said "Honey, no one has ever made me feel as special as you did today. I love you so much!" My eyes filled with tears of happiness. Thanks to you, I will certainly be doing more "sweet things" for him more often. You've helped guide me towards a happier marriage!<br /><br />Lori</p>
<br />
Staff
2017-05-01T17:59:00Z
Full-Time Parenting Is Rare
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Full-Time-Parenting-Is-Rare/-497708948436278089.html
2017-04-28T17:59:00Z
2017-04-28T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Sometimes I feel like I'm the only parent who is caring enough to teach my children about compassion. When I pick up my two kids from middle and high school, we always immediately talk about any conflicts or concerns with other kids. And we discuss how to work through it. <br /><br />Full-time parenting has become so rare. When I tell people that I'm a stay-at-home mother, they always reply with, "What else do you do?" Like it is just not enough to be staying at home with your kids! I could go back to being a nurse, but right now, I'm choosing not to do that. Seventh through the tenth grades are the most crucial time to be there for your children. They're not driving yet, and their hormones are going crazy! They need parents who are stable and will be a moral compass for them. For me, this is a lot harder than escaping to work.<br /><br />Thank you for keeping the lessons coming every day on your program. I listen and learn new information every time I tune in!<br /><br />Celeste</p>
<p> </p>
<br />
Staff
2017-04-28T17:59:00Z
Putting Your Spouse First
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Putting-Your-Spouse-First/-932940152062079304.html
2017-04-27T17:59:00Z
2017-04-27T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband and I have been married for 23 years and raised six kids together. Before we ever got married, we discussed ground rules for everything we thought would come up in our marriage, from how we wanted to raise our children to how we'd handle disagreements. We got married in our church and we both swore that no matter what, this marriage was IT. We would stay together, so we had better be sure to make it work. We really made that commitment.<br /><br />At times it hasn't always been easy, but we always take the last few minutes before we go to sleep to reconnect and let each other know that we are the most important person in each other's world. We agreed right from the beginning that a stable family begins with a stable marriage. And a stable marriage means that you put your spouse first! It really works.<br /><br />Anna</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
<br />
Staff
2017-04-27T17:59:00Z
It's Not Personal
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Not-Personal/185806490526083891.html
2017-04-26T17:59:00Z
2017-04-26T17:59:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I used to get very upset when my mother-in-law criticized my parenting skills. You name it, and I did it the wrong way. </p>
<p>It wasn’t until my husband’s brothers married that I realized she felt the same way toward all three daughters-in-law. It wasn’t a personal attack against ME, but it still hurt, just the same.<br /><br />After 24 years, it has gotten a bit easier. I believe she loved her sons so much that she looked at all of us as a threat to her. A few years ago, I started making a mental list of “what not to do to my adult kids.” Number one on the list was not to make their spouses miserable. I will be a good mother-in-law, and my husband swears he’ll make sure I am too! I want to see them and my grandkids and not have them dread seeing me!</p>
<p>Kara</p>
<br />
Staff
2017-04-26T17:59:00Z
Where Is the Time Going?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Where-Is-the-Time-Going/-627769841242388329.html
2017-04-25T17:59:00Z
2017-04-25T17:59:00Z
Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband and I have two daughters, ages 11 and 19. Our oldest daughter has moved away for college and we often miss her. I look at our 11 year old daughter and think "where is the time going?" I miss the days of reading them both bedtime stories and waiting for my husband to come home from work, when they'd greet Daddy at the door with little kisses and hugs. I loved brushing their hair and talking to them before bed as they wound down from the day.<br /><br />We still tuck our 11 years old in at night, and she likes occasional back rubs too. When she asks for a back rub, I jump at the chance because I know the time will come when she, too, will be grown and out of the house. These are times we can never get back, so I appreciate every moment we spend together as a family.<br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, for the constant reminder to cherish our time with the kids.<br /><br />Marla<br />
Staff
2017-04-25T17:59:00Z
They Will Never Be Small Again
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/They-Will-Never-Be-Small-Again/398473481228225937.html
2017-04-24T17:59:00Z
2017-04-24T17:59:00Z
Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am a single mom to four children. So often, when listening to your show, I thought you were crazy to think that people could just stay home with their kids. But I realize now that you're not crazy. I work until five pm and then go to TWO day cares to pick them up. We get home around 6, and their bedtimes are from 8 to 9. That means I spend only 2-3 hours with them daily, mostly getting upset because they're not getting ready fast enough. I'm really NOT raising my children, and it's starting to show in the way my children are behaving. They're acting out, because ANY attention (whether positive or negative) is attention in their eyes.<br /><br />Money will be very tight, but I know now that I'm doing the right thing. They will never be small again, and I only get one chance to guide them, to love them, and to spend time with them. I feel a bit sad, not because I have to quit my job, but because I wasted this much time going to school to obtain a degree when I should have been raising my kids! What kind of person was I? My children have been crying for attention, and I only had it to give for 2 or 3 hours a day. That's not fair to them.<br /><br />A lightbulb went off from listening to you, and I want to let other single mothers know what I will be doing. Maybe my story will inspire them to raise their own children too, even though it may be hard. I'm not 100% sure how I will be able to afford this, but I will work from home when they are in school and somehow, we'll make it work. My time and my love are what my children need, not "nice" things, like trips and the latest new clothes, which is what I had been working for up until now. <br /><br />Alice<br />
Staff
2017-04-24T17:59:00Z
My Contribution Is Being My Kid's Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Contribution-Is-Being-My-Kids-Mom/-750517871602759135.html
2017-04-21T17:59:00Z
2017-04-21T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I was raised primarily by my mom, who worked three jobs to support three kids. She never put us in day care, and did her best to provide for us. She was an avid Dr. Laura listener, and because of her and you, I am a stay-at-home mom to my own three kids. <br /><br />The job I left was a big one, and women didn't usually leave, even to raise their own kids. So when I left, no one I worked with could understand why. But I couldn't understand how some of these women left their kids 5 days a week, 8 hours a day, not including the potential commute or overtime, holidays, nights and weekends we often had to work. As a stay-at-home mom, there are many hard and challenging days, and sometimes I wish I could have an hour commute just for some quiet time in the car!<br /><br />I always try to keep in mind that they are only this little for a short time. I know that my contribution to the world is being my kids' mom, doing my best to raise good people. I may not get paid, and I may look run-down most days (I even started getting wrinkles in my 30s!), but I wouldn't have it any other way, because not one person on the planet loves my kids like my husband and I do. He and I are a team, and without him, none of this would have been possible. Thank you for always advocating on behalf of kids. You're the reason I'm living this incredible, adventurous, joyous life to its fullest.<br /><br />Stacey<br />
Staff
2017-04-21T17:59:00Z
I Won't Put My Son Through What My Parents Did To Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Wont-Put-My-Son-Through-What-My-Parents-Did-To-Me/-648198567107868364.html
2017-04-20T17:59:00Z
2017-04-20T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I figured out why I always frown when you tell people not to remarry when they have minor kids at home. I get angry, because my parents didn't do that and I feel like I got cheated.<br /><br />After getting a divorce, my parents moved 2000 miles away from each other! I have half-siblings from the remarriage of both my parents. When I was a teenager, I resented those half-siblings because their parents were together and mine were not. <br /><br />When the going got tough in my own marriage, I considered divorcing my husband. But I vowed I was not going to do to my son what was done to me. I also didn't want to create a second loss for my stepson who had it hard as it was (yes, I married someone with minor kids - not something I would have done if I had listened to you earlier). My husband and I worked things out, and I'm happy on all fronts that I stayed in the marriage, but especially for my son and stepson.<br />
<p>Lissette</p>
<br /><br />
Staff
2017-04-20T17:59:00Z
Your Children ACTUALLY Need You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Your-Children-ACTUALLY-Need-You/-142691456492175920.html
2017-04-19T17:59:00Z
2017-04-19T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I was a nanny for years and adored every single one of the four children I took care of (ranging in age from 3 months to 11 years old) as if they were my own. When I decided it was time for me to leave, I was ecstatic to find out that I would not be replaced with another nanny, but that the mother had decided to stay home instead.<br /><br />What none of us anticipated was that when I left, the 3 year old in the family (who had developed a real attachment to me) cried to her mother and constantly asked for me. Her mother called to ask me to stop by to see her as often as I could. One day, I saw them in the supermarket, and the little girl wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling herself out of the shopping cart. After I said goodbye and I was in a different aisle, I actually sobbed hearing her crying out for me from the other side of the store. This just broke my heart.<br /><br />People may think nannies are a better option to daycare, but you are still allowing them to bond with someone else, taking your place. I never had children of my own, but I couldn't imagine the heartache I would feel watching my child pull away from me and cry for someone else. I applaud and appreciate your mission, Dr. Laura, to protect and make children a priority again. I have seen too many of them pushed to the side, pushed on others, or left in front of the TV or a video game because parents have put what they <em>think</em> their kids need above what the children <em>actually</em> need - THEM. <br /> <br />Rita <br /><br />
Staff
2017-04-19T17:59:00Z
Pancakes And My Heart
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Pancakes-And-My-Heart/-465738504735082206.html
2017-04-18T17:59:00Z
2017-04-18T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've been married for 30 years. When my wife was in her late teens and I was in my early 20s, we used to car pool together to a local community college. I was kinda sweet on her, but she made it clear that she just considered me a friend. One day, I only had ten dollars on me and I needed it to buy gas. She said she had only $3.59 on her, and then we both joked about how poor we were as we made our way to school.<br /> <br />After our first class, we had a break, and I mentioned how hungry I was, but I'd have to wait until I got home because I had no money left. She got up from the table, and when she returned, she was carrying a plate with two pancakes and two pieces of bacon that cost $3.50 at the school snack bar. She said "I don't want you to be hungry." That small gesture told me so much about her, and that's when I realized she DID care for me. She became my girlfriend at that very moment, and has been and always will be my girlfriend. <br />That was more than 30 years ago, and after two kids and a lot of living, we still share our pancakes to this day. <br /><br />Marshall<br /><br />
Staff
2017-04-18T17:59:00Z
Joining In With The Festivities
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Joining-In-With-The-Festivities/-681267645134516770.html
2017-04-17T17:59:00Z
2017-04-17T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Recently, our family had friends visiting one weekend, and they have a 9 year old boy.At bedtime, his mom was tucking him in, and I joined the "festivities," giving him a stuffed animal, tickles and kisses, and I turned on the night light for him. <br /><br />I have only one daughter left at home, and she's 16. After the 9 year old was in bed, I went to my daughter's room and asked if she would mind if I tucked HER in! I said I missed doing that, because I did it all the time when she was little. She looked at me like I had lost my marbles, but she agreed. I straightened her sheets and fluffed her pillows, then told her stories about when she was little. I gave her kisses and turned out the light. <br />I'm so glad I asked and that she accepted, because the precious days of doing these little things for our kids disappear so quickly. I still offer to tuck her in occasionally, and sometimes she accepts and at other times she declines. I suggest families with young children make the most of these precious moments when they are little, because before you know it, they are up and out, and those opportunities are only fond memories.<br /><br />Charity<br /><br />
Staff
2017-04-17T17:59:00Z
His Favorite People
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/His-Favorite-People/600671764034591960.html
2017-04-06T17:59:00Z
2017-04-06T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When my twin boys were seven years old, I worked with one of them on a school project entitled "All About Me," where he had to make a poster describing and illustrating things like his favorite hobby, food, class subject and more. While I was making dinner, he looked up and said "Hey, Mom, do you think I could list TWO people for "My Favorite Person?" "Of course," I responded. "Oh, good, because I already put my twin brother, and I want to add Dad." My heart dropped a little and my husband saw it in my face. He hugged me and explained that kids don't think of Mom as a person - they're way more than that - they're MOM!<br /><br />The next morning, I saw the poster, and for that question, my son had put down his twin brother, his Dad, and then at the end "Mom." My son told me that his Dad made him add me to the list. The hits just kept coming! <br /><br />One evening, several days later, my husband and I were sitting on our back patio after the kids went to bed, and my son came outside. He climbed on my lap and said "I don't feel good, Mom. Will you come cuddle with me?" As I got up to go with him, I looked at my husband with a smile and said "Ha, he walked right past #1 and #2 on his list because he wants #3 to cuddle with him." Love and adoration aren't "more" or "less" - they're just different.<br /><br />I could not be closer to my boys, nor more proud of the relationship they have with their dad.<br /><br />Karen<br />
Staff
2017-04-06T17:59:00Z
The Gift That Keeps on Giving
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Gift-That-Keeps-on-Giving/-373897440004251118.html
2017-04-05T17:59:00Z
2017-04-05T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm a new listener, and I call your show "The Gift That Keeps on Giving." My oldest son is nine years old, and we have a loving, honest and strong line of communication. <br /><br />As I picked him up from school recently, he told me a fellow third grader started talking about "having lots of sex with girls," so we pulled over and had the sex talk right then and there. He sat next to me in the front seat, and I didn't sugar coat it. We named proper body parts, and I told him how important it was to save sex for marriage, because it is the most precious gift you can ever give your wife and best friend, and it's a gift you can never get back. I told him that telling family and friends that you're expecting a baby should be exciting news, not news that will cause worry and dismay, and ultimate pain and instability. <br /><br />My advice to the squeamish parents out there is to be honest with your kids about sex, or they will find a version of the truth from another source, which might lead them down a painful and tough road. Thank you, Dr. Laura, for being so adamant on the importance of marriage before "shacking up" and making babies. You may just be the last voice of reason for women today.<br /><br />Tammy<br />
Staff
2017-04-05T17:59:00Z
Put Yourself In Their Shoes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Put-Yourself-In-Their-Shoes/229311393126907307.html
2017-04-04T17:59:00Z
2017-04-04T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I want to brag about my wonderful mother-in-law. I had always heard awful stories about how bad mothers-in-law could be, and I was scared of that happening to me, but I couldn't love her more. After all, she's the woman who raised the man I chose to marry! I figured she couldn't be that bad if I liked the guy I was marrying!I love my mother-in-law. She's given me love and support over the last 17 years than I could imagine, and I have not one complaint. She is the best. <br /><br />My advice to others out there is to please show your mothers-in-law a little more patience than you might do now. Put yourself in their shoes, and remember she is the woman who came first for a long time. Now YOU'RE the one who comes first (if, of course, she raised him right!). That's not an easy thing to adjust to. <br /><br />Husbands tend to want their wives and moms to get along and truly appreciate each other. I know that my doing that has made my marriage even stronger. <br /><br />Jeri Lynn<br />
Staff
2017-04-04T17:59:00Z
Changing My Marriage, My Mindset, and My Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-My-Marriage,-My-Mindset,-and-My-Life/142616029029676488.html
2017-04-03T17:59:00Z
2017-04-03T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I have been married for seven years. After listening to friends and family members tell me that my wifely and motherly duties and expectations were "abuse" served up by my husband, I felt overwhelmed. I started resenting my husband. I blamed him for everything, including my own mood for the day! After several years, and more prompting by my friends, I kicked him out of our house. After all, he was lazy and look at all the things he had the nerve to make me do - cooking, cleaning, taking care of his children, and never a single thank you. How <em>dare</em> he!<br /><br />Once we were separated, I started to see the real truth about my so-called friends. I was suddenly "dumb" or "stupid" for not putting kids in daycare, or I was crazy for wanting to spend an entire day with my kids. I was told I must be really depressed if I was content being home with nobody but my children. That's when I started to dump those friends from my life.<br /><br />Then my mother-in-law insisted I read "<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a>." Your entire book smacked me square in the face. How could I have forgotten to be my husband's girlfriend? How did I not see how ridiculously simple it was to make my husband happy? Luckily, my husband and I were able to get back together, and he can't stop commenting on the difference in me. He is now my priority, and I will never neglect him again. Thank you for changing my mindset, which has changed my marriage and my life.<br /><br />Audra <br />
Staff
2017-04-03T17:59:00Z
You Get What You Give
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Get-What-You-Give/774035524069151103.html
2017-03-31T17:59:00Z
2017-03-31T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Even though I've heard you say many times that you should wake up each day and think of something you can do to make your husband happy he's married and married to you, I was lazy and didn't think it would make a difference, so I did nothing extra for a very long time. Two months ago, I shot up in bed and decided that THAT DAY I was going to take your advice.<br /><br />The outcome has been shocking. It actually is fun thinking of something to do for him that's not necessarily routine. I now wake up thinking of my wonderful husband instead of just myself. I do anything from making his favorite cupcakes to picking out a movie I know he would really enjoy, and I watch it with him without making bitchy comments. I shouldn't be surprised just how much more exciting and interesting our marriage of 17 years has become, yet I AM happily surprised. <br /><br />Listening to your wisdom for as long as I have, you would have thought I would have done this before now. The bottom line is you get what you give, and now my husband is doing little things for me like I'm doing for him. Our marriage has never been better.<br /><br />Thank you from a stay-at-home mom and Army wife,<br /><br />Jill<br />
Staff
2017-03-31T17:59:00Z
Morals And Values, While Living In The City
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Morals-And-Values,-While-Living-In-The-City/991028534982752155.html
2017-03-30T17:59:00Z
2017-03-30T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />As a 25-year-old single woman living in New York City, I find it's difficult to have morals and make friends or meet datable men. The vast majority of people my age in this city do not uphold the right values, if any at all. I called a girlfriend of mine to vent about the lack of eligible men and how I'm a bit worried I won't find one here and will never have kids unless I move soon. My friend said, "if you get to your late 30s and you're still single and can't find a husband to have children with, then have one on your own!"<br /><br />Nothing could have snapped me out of my funk more than that comment. I instantly replied, "I could NEVER do that to my child." My friend was bewildered, so I explained that if I were to die tonight and be born again, I'd want a loving mommy AND daddy to raise me. I could never deprive my future child of that. So my friend suggested I start online dating, but I don't want to do that.<br /><br />Even though I sometimes feel hopeless about finding a suitable husband, I have not felt more confident as a woman and potential mother to know that I would never sacrifice my children's needs for my own. As badly as I want a family, I'd rather have no kids than deliberately not be the best mom I know I can be. There's a profound peace in knowing that. <br /><br />Thank you for empowering me. Family planning starts PRIOR to conception. Think selflessly, raise effectively and keep fighting the good fight. Thanks, Dr. Laura, for being the role model for all mommies, current and future.<br /><br />Arletta<br />
Staff
2017-03-30T17:59:00Z
The Sacrifice Real Men Make For Their Families
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Sacrifice-Real-Men-Make-For-Their-Families/-406976374648719644.html
2017-03-29T17:59:00Z
2017-03-29T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I have been married to a "real man" for 45 years. We've raised five daughters who are strong, compassionate women, amazing mothers and great wives. They love their family and their sisters are their best friends. <br /><br />We had all five girls in nine years. It was a busy, crazy time, and I could never have done it alone. My husband walked in the door each night and helped me every way that he could. I never heard that he worked all day or that he was too tired. I appreciated all he did, and as he always said to me, "these are my children too." He sacrificed his career so that he never missed a conference at school, a sporting event, or any aspect of their lives. He was in the door at six o'clock every night and ready to roll! <br /><br />I was his girlfriend, his partner, his love and his best friend. I supported him in every aspect of our life together. We're now grandparents to eight darling children, and together we babysit, have sleepovers with them, and just have fun. THAT, Dr. Laura, is a real man!<br /><br />Margaret<br />
Staff
2017-03-29T17:59:00Z
Letting Him Be His Own Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Letting-Him-Be-His-Own-Man/27297461313981169.html
2017-03-28T17:59:00Z
2017-03-28T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I was stuck feeling like it was my job to "baby" my now-26-year-old brother, as I had for years after our parents' nasty divorce. In fact, I called you about a year ago about this problem. You told me that I should leave him alone and let him be a man. In that one minute call, you released me from the burden of being the glue that held the family together. Since then, I don't badger my brother about his life, and I stopped letting our parents use me to smooth things over between them and my brother. I let them know that their relationship (or lack thereof) was between the three of them, and I would be happy to bring a pie for Christmas if I'm invited, but that's all.<br /><br />Since I made this change, my brother and I are a lot closer. By my taking a step back, he has grown up a lot, and I now see that my behavior toward him was actually holding him back. My parents were less happy about my change in attitude, but eventually, they got the message. <br /><br />Two months after I made this change, my boyfriend of two years asked me to marry him. He told me that my changing how I interacted with my family showed him that I was ready to be his wife. I hear calls on your program all the time about Moms "over-mothering" and handicapping their children in the long run. I am thankful I learned this lesson before having my own children. I had no idea this seemingly small change would make such a positive ripple in my life. Thank you Dr. Laura!<br /><br />Janine<br />
Staff
2017-03-28T17:59:00Z
Change Of Direction
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Change-Of-Direction/-123879988746431812.html
2017-03-27T17:59:00Z
2017-03-27T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Thank you so much for showing me what a brat I've been to my husband. Every night, Monday through Friday, my hard-working husband asks me (a stay-at-home mom) to massage his hands. I say yes, but act as if it's just another annoying thing to do before I go to bed. <br /><br />Recently, I heard you talk to a caller who wanted to know how to get her hard-working husband to have sex. You advised her to get him into a relaxing bath and tell him that he is her hero. I instantly felt ashamed of not "properly caring" for my husband. I can't believe I didn't acknowledge the act of massaging my husband's hands as a way of showing my love and appreciation for all he does every day.<br /><br />I apologized to my husband for sounding annoyed, and I have changed my attitude toward the nightly hand massage. I now do it with integrity, love, and appreciation, thanks to you!<br /><br />Andrea<br /><br />
Staff
2017-03-27T17:59:00Z
38 Years Strong
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/38-Years-Strong/-171992879024405890.html
2017-03-24T17:59:00Z
2017-03-24T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My parents will celebrate their 38th wedding anniversary this year, and they love each other now more than ever. I'm single and 30 years old, and their marriage has had both a good and bad effect on me. <br /><br />It's been good, because I've seen that love like theirs does exist in this world. It's been bad, because I've become very picky and won't settle for less than what I was raised around. I watched my parents go through very trying times, including financial hardships and dealing with cancer, yet I never heard my father say anything bad about my mom, or my mother talk ill of my dad. They never fought and didn't discuss their tough times in front of us kids. I think a lot of it had to do with their love and respect for each other, and their faith, which helped them when things were difficult. I still love watching them interact, and it literally brings tears to my eyes. I hope I will be able to find someone who will create that kind of bond with me.<br /><br />Kim <br />
Staff
2017-03-24T17:59:00Z
Living In The Past
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Living-In-The-Past/617384786750633655.html
2017-03-23T17:59:00Z
2017-03-23T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Recently, I had an epiphany about a conversation I had with my mother when I was a teenager. At that time, she said I was living in both the past and the future, while ignoring the present. I never quite understood what it was she meant....until now.<br /><br />I lived in the past, because I wanted things to go back to the way they were before we moved two thousand miles away from our home town. I also lived in the future so that I could have the power to do things my way, and not have to follow my parents' wishes because I was not yet of age. I didn't live in the present, because I found it kind of "sucky." What got me to my epiphany? By listening to a lot of hours of your show, Dr. Laura, I was finally able to piece it all together. I'm happy to say that these days, I am in a very good place, and living very much in the present.<br /><br />Lola<br />
Staff
2017-03-23T17:59:00Z
The Legacy of My Grandparents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Legacy-of-My-Grandparents/-125621988109479052.html
2017-03-22T17:59:00Z
2017-03-22T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My maternal grandparents were both 20 years old when they wed in 1916. They journeyed through this life together for 69 years until my grandfather's death at the age of 89. My grandmother forged ahead and died two months shy of her 96th birthday. Though their worldly possessions were meager, they enjoyed a wealth of love for each other, as well as high regard and respect from their friends and community. They reared nine children through great hardships, which included the Depression, a flood, the Dust Bowl, and two world wars. <br /><br />Even so, because they were farmers, good food was always to be had. They raised or grew just about everything they ate. I've often thought that because they were so busy working hard they had no time for distractions or petty annoyances and grievances. All nine of their children married and none ever divorced, which is quite a remarkable feat today. Whatever came their way, these two beloved people endured together and were steadfast. This example of what real marriage means is still celebrated today as our extended families come together every two years for a family reunion in their honor. We always make sure their photographs are displayed, so those who came after will know of them in some small way. <br /><br />All but two of their children are gone now. One of those remaining is my mother, who is 82 years old. She instilled in all four of her daughters the same value system with which she was raised. There were no "shack-ups" before marriage and no out-of-wedlock pregnancies in our family. My own parents are celebrating their 65th wedding anniversary this year, and my husband and I will be married 41 years this year as well. The legacy of my grandparents, Carrie and Herman, endures!<br /><br /><br />Rachel<br />
Staff
2017-03-22T17:59:00Z
Making Memories
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Memories/749968408777892399.html
2017-03-21T17:58:00Z
2017-03-21T17:58:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />As I drove my 13 year old son to school recently, I heard his suddenly deeper voice in a new way. He is my third child, my youngest, and time is going too fast. We talked in the car about when he was little and about the hours we would spend setting up the train tracks to find that the building of them was more fun than pushing the trains around. My middle child is preparing for college, and my oldest is already in college. I'm thankful that I have been there for everything in their lives.<br /><br />Memories are what are formed when you aren't paying attention! Twenty years ago, I drove to work after dropping my then twelve-week old daughter off at daycare. I was listening to your show at the time. I began to cry, and called my husband when I got to work. He said "Quit now, and just go get her," and I did. We struggled financially for many years, but have a great relationship with all of our kids. They're not perfect, but they're caring, generous and happy people who are close to us and each other.<br /><br />During my driving time with my son, I know I'm no longer the most important thing to him, and he's starting to pull away and grow up, as he should. But I'm able to reflect on the silly times we had and the things we still do together. Thank you for always being the lead cheerleader for those of us who choose to stay at home and raise our children.<br /><br />Christine<br />
Staff
2017-03-21T17:58:00Z
Understanding True Intimacy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Understanding-True-Intimacy/-682929656301484179.html
2017-03-20T17:59:00Z
2017-03-20T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I was on a SWAT team through most of our 15 year marriage, and when I finally left, I moved on to a job with more pay, no after-hours work and no more danger. I was bored for a while, but we found new adventure as young empty-nesters with plenty of time and money. Despite being young, fit, and healthy, I was diagnosed with cancer shortly after the career change. The combined effects of the surgeries, chemo and radiation left me unable to perform sexually. Our epic sex life was over and there was a chance it would never come back. My wife was more upset than me about my condition, as if she weren't good enough to make my "man-gear" work.<br /><br />Fortunately, I did eventually heal and we were able to resume a normal sex life. But during the time when we went without sex, we never suffered a break in intimacy. The hand-holding, kissing, shoulder rubs, hugs and touching has continued since the day we started dating. Even though I was reduced from a "door-kicker" to a pale, skinny couch potato who sometimes needed help getting up, we were still boyfriend and girlfriend. I opened doors for her, pulled out her chair, and stood when she got up from the table. I didn't want her to be my nurse, because she is my "lady."<br /><br />I've been cancer-free for almost four years now. We came out of our ordeal closer than ever because we now know how short life is. If sexual intercourse was the only intimacy we had shared, that intimacy would have been lost when we needed it most. Thank you for helping us to "treat kindly" even through the tough times.<br /><br />Marvin<br />
Staff
2017-03-20T17:59:00Z
Marital Mix-Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Marital-Mix-Up/866228540707736420.html
2017-03-17T17:59:00Z
2017-03-17T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm 55 years old, and I've been married for 21 years. One day two years ago, my husband accidentally left his cell phone at home. I called him from a different phone, and when he called me back on his cell, I saw the caller ID for me which read "Mimi"- and then the word "ICE" right after it." I was angry, hurt, and then sad that every time I called him, he was reminding himself that things were icy in our marriage.<br /><br />I never discussed it with him, but instead, got into action to save our marriage. I re-read "<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a>," and implemented girlfriend behavior immediately. It's now two years later, and we've been much happier, and much closer in our marriage. At least that's what I thought until we recently got NEW phones, and while he was helping me with mine, he showed me his phone and there in big letters after my name was the word "ICE" again. This time, I did say something, and told him I thought we were doing much better in our marriage, so why would he still feel that I was cold toward him?<br /><br />He looked at me with a puzzled look, and then smiled as he informed me that "ICE" after my name stood for "In Case of Emergency" to alert police, EMTs and others that I am his emergency contact! We now laugh at the initial mix-up that made our marriage better and thought you might get a kick out of it. Thank you for all your advice. I know my husband thanks you!<br /><br />Mimi <br />
Staff
2017-03-17T17:59:00Z
I Am Forever Grateful
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Am-Forever-Grateful/262096843204841789.html
2017-03-16T17:59:00Z
2017-03-16T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />For the first two years of my daughter's life, I was able to stay home with her. Then my husband started putting pressure on me to go to work. Instead of standing my ground and telling him no, I gave in. I had friends who did whatever it took to be able to stay home with their kids, and I used to think they were nuts struggling to make ends meet. <br /> <br />So every day, I'd go off to work, leaving my two-year-old in the arms of my sister. My heart would break as I would leave while she was crying for me to stay. It didn't matter who took care of my child (even if it was family), because my daughter only wanted ME! I'm sorry to say I let this go on until my daughter was in the sixth grade. That's when I had a blow-up with my boss, and realized I was angry and bitter and doing a bad job at work because I was heartbroken at missing out on my precious daughter. My daughter was also paying the price, even though she was with her loving aunt and her grandparents - it just wasn't the same as mom being home. So I quit my job and have never been happier.<br /><br />My daughter is thrilled to have me drop her off and pick her up every day, and to have me there to help with homework, go on field trips, talk about peer pressure, boys, teachers and life in general. My husband has finally come around too. Thank you for always being such an advocate for children. I will be forever grateful for the insight and knowledge you have provided to me and so many others over the years.<br /><br />Daria<br />
Staff
2017-03-16T17:59:00Z
Tough Love Saved Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Tough-Love-Saved-Me/-857371127569401329.html
2017-03-15T17:59:00Z
2017-03-15T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am ten and a half years clean and sober, and would not be so had my parents not practiced "tough love." I don't say I was an addict - I say I AM an addict and always will be an addict even if I'm not using. Ten and a half years ago, my parents said to me "Get clean or get out and never speak to us again." I thought it over, got good and wasted, and the next day decided that I was tired of paying the high price of low living, so I went to a 12 step meeting and surrendered. I've not picked up a wet or dry drug since.<br /><br />I now have a beautiful life. I'm married to the man of my dreams, have two children, and I started a company that has now grown to a hugely successful franchise, and I work around the time I'm with my children. From the outside looking in, you'd never know that I struggled. But I was the kind of addict who overdosed multiple times. During the last six months of my using, I had multiple drug-related seizures and overdosed to the point that I flatlined, and the paramedics had to intubate me and bring me back with Narcan. Neither of these occurrences nor my multiple arrests were enough to make me get help. The only thing that did it was when my parents finally put their joined and united feet down and said "ENOUGH!" <br /><br />Thank you for sharing your wisdom with families who need to hear about tough love (and it IS love - in action!). It works. Love and boundaries are not comfortable all of the time, but they may save an addict's life. Giving them money, telling lies for them, enabling them, or letting them live in your basement so they're not on the street - NONE of that is love. It's all based in fear and control, and those are the OPPOSITE of love. <br /><br />Keira <br />
Staff
2017-03-15T17:59:00Z
Keeping Us Both Happy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-Us-Both-Happy/-640558247461842825.html
2017-03-14T17:59:00Z
2017-03-14T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm a real man who's lucky to have a beautiful and smart woman as my wife of 13 years. These are the things I do to keep us both happy:<br /><br /><ol>
<li>Ask myself every morning: What will I do today to make her appreciate marrying me? </li>
<br />
<li>Pay for a housekeeper. I've had housekeepers since I was in graduate school. I can afford one, so I hire one for our family. My wife shows me her appreciation (wink, wink) for this one big time!</li>
<br />
<li>Clean up and help around the house. Our agreement is that she cooks and I clean up. Works for me</li>
<br />
<li>Cook a meal sometimes or do something that she usually does. It's the thought that counts, even if the meal isn't as delectable as one she'd make.</li>
<br />
<li>Write little notes and do little things for her. Sometimes, I leave a note several pages ahead in the pages of whatever she's reading!</li>
<br />
<li>Appreciate her wanting to keep herself looking good when she goes to the hair or nail salon. Don't complain about the outrageous bills. Appreciate the beauty and budget it in every month or so. By the way, I get lucky on most "salon days."</li>
<br />
<li>Keep her vehicle clean and running well.8. Be open and honest and don't be afraid to ask for what I want or say what I like.</li>
<br />
<li>Keep myself healthy and clean and in shape, so I'll remain attractive to her.</li>
<br />
<li>Occasionally take a couples cruise or go to a couples resort. </li>
<br />
<li>Send flowers to her mother on my wife's birthday thanking her for bringing my wife into this world.</li>
</ol><br />It's all of these things and more rolled up together that make me <br /><br />[signed]<br /><br />A Happy Husband<br /><br />
Staff
2017-03-14T17:59:00Z
Everything Is A Choice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Everything-Is-A-Choice/-375540450203822703.html
2017-03-13T17:59:00Z
2017-03-13T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am 19 and in college. I understand that many people my age don't share the beliefs that you, my mother and I share. That's why I'm so grateful that when societal norms these days have gone so crazy, I'm able to turn to your show to have someone who keeps my moral compass on track and apart from those around me. I'm writing today because suddenly I'm excited about my future. <br /><br />I recently broke up with my boyfriend who I've dated since high school. This was a huge step for me, and I didn't think I was strong enough to do that. I saw the red flags a few months in, but I ignored them and made excuses because I stupidly thought they'd go away. I could hear your voice in my ear telling me I knew better, and sometimes your opening comments or calls were so related to my situation that I thought "signs" were being sent my way. So I finally ended it. <br /><br />At first, I was distraught and just so sad. Then I realized what an important time of my life I was experiencing, and it would have been incredibly dumb of me to settle down with this man and not allow myself these years to grow into the woman I'm becoming. By listening to your show and reading your books, I feel as though I now know how to choose the right man, be the best stay-at-home mother I can be, and never waver on my beliefs. All of these things are a choice. They just don't "happen," and I learned that from you. I truly believe that if people my age would listen to your show, we would live in a significantly better world! Thank you for what you do.<br /><br />Maddy<br /><br />
Staff
2017-03-13T17:59:00Z
Tough Choices In Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Tough-Choices-In-Life/458713738012543940.html
2017-03-10T18:59:00Z
2017-03-10T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Twenty-three years ago, I was 19 and pregnant. I was a high-school dropout, and on a short road to a very sad life. My parents decided they wanted to help me and encouraged me to make some tough choices. In order to live with them and have them help me, I had to do three things:<br /><ol>
<li>Go to college</li>
<li>Go to AA</li>
<li>Listen to you</li>
</ol>Fast forward 23 years, and I'm now a college graduate, and AA helped me surround myself with people who helped me be a better parent and person. And, of course, I've listened to you all this time. <br /><br />I'm happily married for almost 20 years and have 4 lovely children, ranging in age from college senior to a surprise baby, who is now 5 years old. Your advice wasn't always easy to swallow, Dr. Laura, but it was spot on. You really helped shape the person I am today, and I'm not too shabby!<br /><br />Kerry<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2017-03-10T18:59:00Z
Being In The Right Headspace
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-In-The-Right-Headspace/-459689118150756758.html
2017-03-09T18:59:00Z
2017-03-09T18:59:00Z
Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I work in sales and I listen to your show while on the road almost every day. I'm also a happily single, young homosexual man. I'm still working on some personal issues, but because of listening to your show, I've realized that I need to stay single until I'm in the right headspace to be a compatible partner to someone.<br /><br />I thank you even more for the advice that I'm able to give to my close female friends when they make terrible choices in men. One of them recently told me "you sound like Dr. Laura!" I took that as a compliment.<br /><br />I'm sure you get five thousand messages a day, but I hope this one finds you. Keep up the good work Dr. Laura!<br /><br />Harry<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2017-03-09T18:59:00Z
Family is Priceless
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Family-is-Priceless/-9492164874450961.html
2017-03-08T18:59:00Z
2017-03-08T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When my husband and I got married, he made $2.50 an hour. We waited four years to start our family. He was, and is, a very hard-working, responsible man. We agreed to do whatever it took so I could stay at home with our three children. <br /><br />I was there to drive the kids to school and there when they got home to hear about the ups and downs of the day. They especially loved walking in the door to the smell of mom's chocolate chip cookies! I wouldn't change those days for the world.<br /><br />Fast forward 20 years. Last year, I was diagnosed with a baseball-sized brain tumor. I had surgery to remove it, but the area around it got infected. I was on the couch for four months with very high anxiety. I feared losing the battle and needed company every hour of the day. During this time, my husband and kids made a schedule so I never spent one minute alone. They coordinated with friends and extended family to provide for all my needs. I recently had my follow up MRI, and got the good news that all is now well.<br /><br />I can't think about what happened without getting all blubbery, not because of the tumor, but because of the care and love I experienced from my family. When I needed taking care of, they were there. Could they have paid someone to feed, clean and watch over me? Yes, but instead, they chose to do it themselves. Thank you, Dr. Laura for all you do to help people understand how PRICELESS family is and how when you give, you receive!<br /> <br />Rhonda <br /><br />
Staff
2017-03-08T18:59:00Z
Who Wouldn't Want A Happy Marriage?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Who-Wouldnt-Want-A-Happy-Marriage/-748196871215679858.html
2017-03-07T18:59:00Z
2017-03-07T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I spoke with you on the air nine years ago, and you helped me see that I can't change others - I can only change myself. I read your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Praise-Stay-at-Home-Moms-Laura-Schlessinger/dp/0061690309/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1488926824&sr=8-1&keywords=In+Praise+of+Stay-at-Home+Moms" target="_blank">In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms</a></em>" last year, and it supported my innermost feelings about being a mom to my children, who are 2, 4 and 6 years old. We, stay-at-home moms, need a strong voice of support like yours in today's society where we are undervalued and often even unseen.<br /><br />I'm now reading "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>" AND "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Marriage/dp/0061142824/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1488926698&sr=8-1&keywords=The+Proper+Care+and+Feeding+of+Marriage" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage</a></em>!" The other day, one of my friends saw those books on a table, and she was appalled. I let her know that I wasn't ashamed of reading them and that I wanted to be the best wife I could possibly be. That sounded too "traditional" to her, but I think of it as modern - who wouldn't want to be in a happy marriage?? I also regularly listen to your podcasts and apply the "golden nuggets" I hear to my daily life and interaction with others. <br /><br />Thank you for your wisdom, discernment, empathy and care for all of us who listen.<br />Hailey <br /><br />
Staff
2017-03-07T18:59:00Z
Devotion And Courage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Devotion-And-Courage/726581759798648612.html
2017-03-06T18:59:00Z
2017-03-06T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My mom and dad showed me what the highest standard of marriage should be. "<em>Till death do us part</em>" wasn't just an empty phrase. They renewed their vows on their 25th wedding anniversary before God, a priest, family, and many friends. <br /><br />Their commitment was such that my father took physical care of my mom through three years of cancer, chemo, radiation and other tortuous treatment. Because he was a former Navy officer, he bore this stoically, with dignity, love and without complaint, even though I knew at times he was exhausted and broken.<br /><br />For me, this is what a man is. It's nearly impossible to find this devotion and courage these days. Because of this, I became a nurse, hoping to relieve some of the pain and indifference I witnessed. After 35 years of practice, I could never come close to his heroism, but I hope I showed honor to others.<br /><br />Anita<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2017-03-06T18:59:00Z
Small Acts Of Affection Add Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Small-Acts-Of-Affection-Add-Up/505337466290394046.html
2017-03-03T18:59:00Z
2017-03-03T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />You saved my marriage. Several years ago, all I could think about was that I needed to divorce my husband. I focused only on the negatives and lost sight of why I married him in the first place. However, I kept listening to your show, and eventually, your wise words of wisdom got through my thick skull.<br /> <br />I started by showing little acts of affection. He has never been a "lovey, touchy-feely" kind of guy, but the simple act of my touching his shoulder or giving him a quick hug worked miracles. Three years later, my husband now touches me FIRST! Out of the blue, he will lean over and give me a kiss. He'll hug me for no reason. I'm getting those acts of affection back because I started showing them years ago.<br /><br />I am so glad we did not divorce. In fact, our marriage is better than ever, and we are true partners. <br /><br />Harriet <br /><br /><br />
Staff
2017-03-03T18:59:00Z
One Day Was Enough For Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/One-Day-Was-Enough-For-Me/-847247875957811931.html
2017-03-02T18:59:00Z
2017-03-02T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am the daughter of two highly educated, driven parents. This matters because they raised me to believe in the importance of women "having it all." I was expected to get my education, climb the employment ladder, and raise a family. So I got my Bachelor's degree, landed a high-level, demanding job, married and had two children less than two years apart. When they were very small (and before I listened to your show), I placed them in a day care facility. I ignored my intuition that told me this was a bad idea, and I headed out the door to my very "important" job.<br /><br />I could not concentrate at work that day, and when I returned to pick them up, I realized my intuition was correct. Not a soul was to be found at the front desk. The "secure" gate that I needed a "private code" to enter was left wide open for anyone to walk through unchallenged. I found both of my children scared and unattended sitting in the middle of the floor with lots of other children running over them. I picked them both up and walked out as any stranger could have done. That was the one and the ONLY day they spent in a daycare.<br /><br />I quit my job the next day, and have been home with them ever since, listening to you for three hours while they're at school during the week. My husband is happier, my kids are happy and well cared for, and six years later, I know that I did the right thing that day.<br /><br />Simone <br /><br /><br />
Staff
2017-03-02T18:59:00Z
Something To Share With Our Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Something-To-Share-With-Our-Children/-313521215482025535.html
2017-03-01T18:59:00Z
2017-03-01T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Last November, you read <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/b/MVP-of-the-Family/209477869471278607.html" target="_blank">my email</a> about how much I loved and appreciated my police officer husband, who then expressed his love and appreciation for ME. I was listening to your podcast in my car when I heard you read it. Even though I had written the email, when I heard the emotion you expressed, I began to shake, and I turned my car around and headed home. <br /><br />My husband was surprised to see me, but I just held out my iPod to him so he could listen. He looked at me curiously, but as the email went on, he knew this couldn't be from anyone but me. He immediately took me in his arms. He then made another recording of the call and now he says he listens to it at least once a week to keep him going. <br /><br />We plan to save the recording for as long as we can, so we can share it with our children when they grow up.<br /><br />Sarah<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2017-03-01T18:59:00Z
What Kids Go Through For Their Parent's Happiness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Kids-Go-Through-For-Their-Parents-Happiness/855192328119037799.html
2017-02-28T18:59:00Z
2017-02-28T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Thank you for always telling parents to think of their children first when they divorce. I am a child of divorce. I lived with my mom and had no relationship with my dad. She dated, because she wanted a "father figure" for me, but my first memories were of her shacking up with a guy, then them fighting, and the next thing I knew, we were moving into an apartment, leaving behind my dog, who was the only constant in my life. It was great for a few years, because I had my mom to myself. But her friends told her she shouldn't be alone and she needed someone in order to be happy. She started dating again, and I got dragged around to different places. <br /><br />Then she met my stepdad and shacked up with him for five years. I got shuffled from our apartment to his house (which was 30 minutes away) five nights a week. All I looked forward to were the nights we were in our own apartment, which meant my own bed and belongings, and a chance to talk to my own friends. They married when I was 14, and then life got a little easier. <br /><br />As a teenager, I listened to you on the radio, and because of you, I learned about meeting a <em>good</em> man and choosing wisely, as well as treating kindly. I'm now a stay-at-home mom to an 18 month old and one due in two weeks. I make sure to be my husband's girlfriend (and he talks about me as his girlfriend, which causes some weird glances when people don't realize he's talking about ME, his wife!). I love every minute of my life, and my marriage will be strong, will last, and our children will not have to go through what I went through.<br /><br />Please continue to hammer parents and fight for us kids, because I can say that I totally understand what it is like to be the child and how unfair it is to be dragged around all over in order for their parents to be "happy." <br /><br />Harolyn<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2017-02-28T18:59:00Z
A Poem For My Wife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Poem-For-My-Wife/599325112920069051.html
2017-02-27T18:59:00Z
2017-02-27T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My wife and I celebrated our 56th anniversary last Thanksgiving Day. When she turned 75 a few years ago, I wrote this poem for her:<br /><br />
<blockquote><span> </span><em>When you look into a mirror and have doubts about what you see <br />Just remember that you have always been the only one for me. <br />I am not a sappy poet obsessed with romantic quirks, <br />But like George Washington, I prefer to be judged not by words, but by works! <br /><br />Years ago, when we were wed, I plighted to thee my troth. <br />And since then, I deign to say that I have manifested no sloth. <br />On this earth, there obviously exists a beautiful woman...or two, <br />But with all the distractions of this world, I have had eyes for only you. <br />With all of life's sights, smells, sounds and all of God's creations, <br />None can match the wonder of husband and wife relations.<br /><br /> The effects of gravity and friction on the body may take their toll, <br />But absolutely nothing can touch the beauty of your soul. <br />Though you may at times feel weak, and your bones begin to creak,<br /> You may begin to wonder about some rejuvenation that you seek. <br />When you look into the mirror and say, "Oh, Lord! I'm 75!!" <br />Just remember that to me, you'll always be the most beautiful woman alive. <br /><br />Whether we amble along a sidewalk or stroll on a beach's sand, <br />You only need to reach out, and you'll always find my hand.<br /> If ever you are troubled, doubtful or worrisome of mind, <br />Just remember that I promised I would never leave you behind. <br />Even though we've become septuagenarians, <br />That doesn't mean we've turned into contrarians.<br /> There are so many things still left to see and do, <br />And I look forward to seeing and doing them all with you.</em></blockquote>
<br />Chuck (from Anchorage, Alaska) <br /><br />
Staff
2017-02-27T18:59:00Z
Why Should My Kids Pay For My Irresponsibility?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Should-My-Kids-Pay-For-My-Irresponsibility/-361616076313885931.html
2017-02-24T18:59:00Z
2017-02-24T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've been married for 11 years, and I was a stay-at-home mom to two boys, ages 2 and 4. Then I decided to go back to work to pay off credit card debt. Working as a chef, I woke up at 4:30am and quietly dressed my boys for the day. Watching them sleep as I dressed them, my heart slowly broke into pieces. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I took them to daycare and waiting until the workers arrived. There was always a pit in my stomach every time I drove away.<br /><br />As I cooked at work all day, that pit would occasionally resurface until the day's end. Then I would drive as fast as possible to get my kids back, then repeat that cycle, day after day for a year. That's when I decided that paying off my credit card debt could wait. Why should my children have to pay the price for MY financial irresponsibility?<br /><br />I quit that job. We moved to Rome, Italy last year to be closer to my sister-in-law and my very ill mother-in-law. I'm proud to say I'm once again a stay at home mom to my boys who are now 4 and 6. All is good again in my soul, although those pangs still return to the pit of my stomach every time I think back to that year I let them down. Thank you for all you do for stay-at-home moms. I'll continue to listen to you from Italy by subscribing to your podcast.<br /><br />Clarissa<br /><br />
Staff
2017-02-24T18:59:00Z
The 'Live It' List
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Live-It-List/-571861250835793720.html
2017-02-23T18:59:00Z
2017-02-23T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Six years ago, I was given only months to live, due to complications from extreme morbid obesity. I am the perfect example of what childhood obesity actually turns into, and sadly, that left me as a 600 pound man in my twenties who couldn't leave his home. I had uncontrolled diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea and cirrhosis of the liver. I was tired and ready to die, but when I was planning my funeral, I realized I was going to die before I had lived and it tormented me. <br /><br />So I made a "Live It" list - kind of like a bucket list, but it was stuff I wanted to live for. Then and there I decided to fight, and over the course of two years, I lost 420 pounds, and went from a size 70 to a size 32. My life turned completely around, and I was finally free to live how I wanted.<br /><br />Change can be hard, so while my outside changed fast, my inside wasn't able to keep up, and I still struggled with my self-worth. Then I turned on you program at exactly the right time. You told a caller that they had more to be proud of than you did, because they had to dig themselves out of that hole that you didn't have to. Wow. So now when I think about the years I've lost and the time I've wasted, I remind myself of the hole I came out of and give myself permission to be proud.<br /><br />Thank you for helping me to see myself from a new perspective. It seems like that was the missing piece I needed.<br /><br />Joshua<br />
Staff
2017-02-23T18:59:00Z
Turning Back Into The Woman He Married
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Turning-Back-Into-The-Woman-He-Married/-435108996812901308.html
2017-02-22T18:59:00Z
2017-02-22T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I was on the verge of throwing away my marriage of 25 years because I was too caught up in the "woe is me" story that I told myself. My husband and I have five children, and five years ago, we went through serious illnesses with three of them in that one year. Our world had turned upside down, and it felt as though we were living in an alternate reality.<br /> <br />I went into full-on "warrior mom" mode and forgot to save any energy for my dragon-slaying husband. I began resenting him and cutting him off in every way. I still can't figure out why he didn't cheat or just leave. I was not much of a wife.<br /><br />I was on my way home one day and heard you explain to a caller that her husband should be her number one priority and she should stop being such an entitled baby. Even though I listen to you daily, that day I finally "heard" you. I bought and read "<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1487823135&sr=8-1&keywords=proper+care+and+feeding+of+husbands" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a>," and immediately began employing your philosophy and techniques - in other words, I again became the woman that he married. I thanked him, I touched him, I made time for him. I let him need me.<br /><br />My kids still need me - a lot - but I'm finding strength in our love and I've seen a major change in us and our children. You sometimes sound harsh, but you are <em>right</em>, and I thank you (and so do my husband and children). <br /><br />Sybil <br />
Staff
2017-02-22T18:59:00Z
I Wish That I Had Read Your Books Years Ago
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Wish-That-I-Had-Read-Your-Books-Years-Ago/115744853412645301.html
2017-02-21T18:59:00Z
2017-02-21T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Your books, "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=The+Proper+Care+and+Feeding+of+Husbands" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>," and "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Marriage/dp/0061142824" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage</a></em>" have literally changed my life. Like many people, I was skeptical of the claim that if I followed the advice in the books, my marriage would be changed in a matter of days, but that's exactly what happened!<br /><br />I've been married for 19 years, with the past few being pretty tough. Over the last several weeks, my relationship with my husband has improved dramatically. We are more in love than ever, and the atmosphere in our house is like it was when we were first married. <br /><br />For a long time, I was so wrapped up in myself, my feelings and what he wasn't doing for ME, that I didn't see what I was doing to HIM and our marriage. I never realized that I could completely change the state of things simply by stepping out of that selfish bubble I was in. We are both so much happier, and I only wish I'd read your books years ago.<br /><br />Thank you for telling it like it is, and thank you for waking me up and keeping me from losing the most wonderful man I've ever known.<br /><br />Sherry<br />
Staff
2017-02-21T18:59:00Z
You Helped Raise Us
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Helped-Raise-Us/198096566399557521.html
2017-02-17T18:59:00Z
2017-02-17T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am the grateful daughter of a devoted listener to you. My mother is completely unaware of the immense impact she has made as a stay-at-home mom of six children. I remember car rides to and from various sporting or school events with your show in the background, and literally being scared to death of you and your somewhat harsh-sounding responses. Obviously, I didn't understand at that age that you were being more kind than I could ever know, by asking questions and giving answers that your listeners needed to hear in a way that would benefit them the most.<br /><br />I'm now 24 and my mom and I still love listening to you and dissecting each call and answer; somehow, you still manage to surprise us with some of your answers, and we are blown away. My father is a pilot, and when we were kids, my mom left her teaching job to raise us full time. She told me that she discovered you early in our lives, so basically, you helped raise us, Dr. Laura. My mother didn't have a relationship with her own mother like the one that we have, but she persevered and spent all her time and energy on us kids. Our parents have raised six successful, confident adult children who were loved unconditionally. I owe my success in deep and meaningful relationships, my work success and my ability to love others in a healthy way to the fact that she was there for us 24/7. Through your impact on her, you have impacted me and my entire family. If you read this letter, I hope my mom hears how much she means to me and how grateful I am to her. The most joy in life comes from helping others, so I hope that you find a small piece of joy from this email.<br /><br />Monica<br />
Staff
2017-02-17T18:59:00Z
All the Sacrifices Are Worth It
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/All-the-Sacrifices-Are-Worth-It/-361641360539343673.html
2017-02-16T18:59:00Z
2017-02-16T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I refinish and sell vintage furniture for extra income so that I can stay home with my kids. My girls, ages 3 and 4, were riding bikes on the driveway, while I sanded down an old table off to the side of the driveway. My 4 year old fell off her bike and scraped her knee, and I was there in seconds to comfort her and tell her that she was strong and that a little scrape was no big deal. I gave her a big hug, and in less than one minute, she had stopped crying and was on her bike again.<br /><br />In that moment, I knew that all the sacrifices my husband and I make so I can stay home are worth it. No one is going to kiss a "boo boo" on my girls like I will. It gets pretty old listening to friends and acquaintances who tell me to put my kids in daycare so they can learn to socialize. Believe me, they are plenty social! And as for the argument that a mom needs "me" time, my husband makes sure I get "me" time AND "us" time too. <br /><br />Though the hours sometimes seem long being a stay-at-home mom, the days and years are really short. I want to make sure I am there to kiss ALL the "boo boos."<br /><br />Shannon<br />
Staff
2017-02-16T18:59:00Z
Get Yourself Together
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Get-Yourself-Together/822046931120867731.html
2017-02-15T18:59:00Z
2017-02-15T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I called you almost a year ago about a boyfriend who had parents who didn't accept me due to my ethnicity. You told me to break up with him. Somewhat in denial at first, I continued to date him. He ended up moving out of the state, and asked me to go with him. Your voice played in my head and I didn't go. I realized you were right. Not only would we never work out because of his parents, but also because he didn't have any of the values I stood for.<br /><br />I moved in with my parents for 2 months after the break up to pull myself together. I suffered, but during that time I learned that I was insecure and desperate while I was dating him, but most importantly, that I needed to stand my ground and stick up for my values. I've become a lot stronger and more secure in myself because of you. <br /><br />So for the women and men listening who know they are with the wrong person, but are trying to convince themselves to stay, here is MY advice: get some balls, suffer through it, deal with your insecurities and get yourself together!<br /><br />I may not have always listened to your advice right away, Dr. Laura, but in this case I finally took it, and I will choose the right man when the time comes. Until then, I'm busy with my hobbies and my life. I know my value because of you. You've made me a better woman.<br /><br />A Listener Who Wishes to Remain Anonymous<br />
Staff
2017-02-15T18:59:00Z
Choosing Wisely And Treating Kindly
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Choosing-Wisely-And-Treating-Kindly/361549163524750850.html
2017-02-14T18:59:00Z
2017-02-14T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />It was your wisdom and guidance that helped me select and marry a truly remarkable and loving man. But in recent weeks, I had forgotten just how incredible he truly was.<br /><br />After being let go from his previous job, my husband was hired by a new company. As our little family transitioned from a day shift to a swing shift, and our relationship was tested. I got angry and hurt that he was no longer "romancing" me. That very day, the opening remarks on your program were geared toward helping young women identify all the ways that their man shows them how much he loves them. My husband does EVERYTHING you listed....EVERYTHING! I couldn't believe my ears.<br /><br />It was more than a wake up call. My husband was doing everything to support our family and to strengthen our marriage. He does the dishes every night, helps with the laundry, feeds the dogs, and quietly tidies up anything in disarray when I'm busy chasing our toddler around the house. I was the one who wasn't romancing HIM!<br /><br />The next day after hearing your show, when my husband came home at 4AM, I was waiting in the kitchen, hair done, makeup on, a smile on my face and a kiss on my lips. I told him how thankful I was for him and how sorry I was for having been such a brat. The days that have followed have been truly wonderful, and I've seen such an improvement in our communication and intimacy. Thank you for reminding me to treat my amazing man the way he deserves to be treated...and just in time for a wonderful Valentine's Day.<br /><br />Marissa<br />
Staff
2017-02-14T18:59:00Z
MY Baby Feels Love All Day
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/MY-Baby-Feels-Love-All-Day/976496620944684441.html
2017-02-13T18:59:00Z
2017-02-13T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband and I have a three month old baby boy. We recently met the wife of one of my husband's coworkers. She is an assistant director at a daycare center, and she told us that in the "infant" room of her daycare, she usually finds frazzled teachers who ask her to "just grab a baby" since so many of them are teething and leading to some tough times for the workers. She also said that when parents drop off the babies, many of them say things like "Just make sure he or she sleeps at least three naps today. I can't handle them if they don't."<br /><br />Since I had only just met the woman when she told us these stories, it took everything I had to not say something - I just sat there aghast at her tales. <br /><br />When my husband and I finally left, I turned to him and thanked him for being a real man and making sure I stay home with our baby son to raise him into the man he should be. As much as I love your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Praise-Stay-at-Home-Moms-Laura-Schlessinger/dp/B0058M5RD0" target="_blank">In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms</a></em>," I find it so sad that such a book even needed to be written. It seems to me that it only needs to have one of your signature lines in it: "<em>A daycare center is a place where your baby does not feel love all day.</em>" To me, that's enough. And I can assure you that MY baby feels love all day, each and every day.<br /><br />Samantha <br /> <br />
Staff
2017-02-13T18:59:00Z
All Women Should Learn Self Defense
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/All-Women-Should-Learn-Self-Defense/-137842604870251978.html
2017-02-10T18:59:00Z
2017-02-10T18:59:00Z
<br /><br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am a Sensei who teaches self defense to children age 6 to early teens in an underprivileged area. I donate my time and don't get paid because I love doing this work. I have a full-time paying job as well, but it's nothing compared to the happiness I get to have by teaching the children. <br /><br />That's why I was so glad to hear you recommend recently on your show that all women should learn self-defense. I've seen many women and children come and go over the years after obtaining a yellow belt, and not going any further. Way back before I learned karate I was a real "wuss." I wasn't confident, and I was afraid of being alone in my own home. That all changed when I took karate, and once I knew I could defend myself my confidence level just soared. <br /><br />As you know, obtaining a black belt certainly is an accomplishment. I encourage all women to learn self-defense and stay with it. There are still many more men than women in self-defense classes, but one day I hope to see many more women gain the power and confidence that comes with learning to protect themselves. <br /><br />Louise<br /> <br />
Staff
2017-02-10T18:59:00Z
The Memories That We Made
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Memories-That-We-Made/772809394067402635.html
2017-02-09T18:59:00Z
2017-02-09T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Almost 40 years ago, when I was about to give birth to my first child, my husband and I decided we would do whatever it took for me to stay home and raise the children. Being a stay-at-home mom wasn't always easy, and there were times I longed to be out in the working world having a career. Many years later, I even questioned my decision to stay home when I needed to enter the job market and had no experience or work skills. Finding a job later in life for the first time can be almost impossible. <br /><br />Then, two years ago, something happened that put all my doubts to rest and let me know that I had made the right decision all those years ago. That day, I got a call that no mother should ever get - my 37 year old son had passed away. I remember being in the funeral home and receiving friends, and all I could do was thank God I had the opportunity to stay home with him the entire time he was growing up. As I stood there talking to his friends, I was able to relate stories and funny tales of his childhood that I would never have experienced had I been a working mom. Today when I miss him, I have many great memories that he and I made, many of which would never have been possible if I had been at work. <br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, for supporting stay-at-home moms and reminding them of how much their children need them to be at home.<br /><br />Kerry <br /><br />
Staff
2017-02-09T18:59:00Z
The Importance of Hands-On Parenting
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-of-Hands-On-Parenting/158627816075005722.html
2017-02-08T18:59:00Z
2017-02-08T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Recently, I had dinner with a friend of mine, who is a mom of two kids, ages 1 and 3. She also works full time. I am a stay-at-home mom of three young boys. My friend told me that the next day, she didn't have any work to do in the office, and was feeling anxious thinking of being home with little to do instead of working. I suggested she keep her kids home from daycare that day, and she actually said "I cannot do that....I just can't." I felt utterly annoyed.<br /><br />Fast forward to last night. My boys were working on a Cub Scout project which instructed the whole family to say something nice about each family member. Since my boys were being silly with some of their comments, I expected a silly compliment from them. Instead, one of them looked at me and said "Mom, I like how you are always there, like when I come home from school or when I have a question about my homework. That's cool." I was taken aback and it brought tears to my eyes. Then I thought about my friend who chose being anxious at home for a day instead of spending time with her two small kids. I doubt they would have the same answer. Thank you for reminding all of us of the importance of hands-on parenting.<br /><br />Marian<br /> <br /><br />
Staff
2017-02-08T18:59:00Z
Staying On The Straight Path
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Staying-On-The-Straight-Path/-54611037735696071.html
2017-02-07T18:59:00Z
2017-02-07T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am the director of a small private middle school in the Los Angeles area, and I also have the privilege of teaching eighth grade language arts. We're currently reading <em>Romeo and Juliet</em> and I gave the students the task of answering the question: "Do you believe in love at first sight?" In this age of superficial thinking based on social media "likes" and "selfies," I was surprised by their responses.<br /><br />They explained that loving someone was more than being drawn to their looks and couldn't be "at first sight." One student who is struggling with leukemia, wrote "Loving someone requires a commitment to deeply care, trust, listen to and be there for someone when they need you." The last paper I read started with "Love at first sight can happen anywhere at any time." I was really interested in seeing where this student's thinking process was going, and then I read: "It can be when a baby has his first glance at his mother. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." I was so pleased that this student still saw such pure love through the lens of a mother and child.<br /><br />I use a lot of what you teach on the air with my students. While there is a lot of hate out there in the world, please know that there are a few middle school students in Los Angeles who are learning values that you would approve of! Please keep on speaking out to keep us on the straight path!<br /><br />Laurie<br /> <br /><br />
Staff
2017-02-07T18:59:00Z
An Amazing Sacrifice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/An-Amazing-Sacrifice/-393298661401215998.html
2017-02-06T18:59:00Z
2017-02-06T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I was given up for adoption in the 1960s by a mother who had me when she was just 16. I was adopted by a mother and father, and I will be eternally grateful for the decision my birth mother made to give me a chance at a better life. She put MY needs first and not her own. <br /><br />While I have sometimes wondered about her, especially on my birthday, I have no desire to disrupt her life or mine by reaching out to her. But if I was contacted that she was on her deathbed and just wanted to know if I was okay, I'd get on the next plane, and would thank her with tears running down my face for giving me life and giving me to a couple who provided me with a mom AND a dad. I know my life and what I have accomplished would not have been possible without the gift she gave me that day. While I know she probably feels sadness deep down in her heart for what she did, I also hope it is quickly filled with the knowledge that what she did was truly noble. <br /><br />And, Dr. Laura, keep up your fight to have out-of-wedlock children put up for adoption. Our society has glorified teen moms and "how sweet that they have a baby" comments when it is absolutely the worst thing for the child. Adoption has almost become a bad word in our culture when it is truly an amazing sacrifice for a birth mother and the right thing to do for the child to have the best chance in life. <br /><br />Beatrice <br /><br />
Staff
2017-02-06T18:59:00Z
Divorced Families
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Divorced-Families/916982653447898353.html
2017-02-03T18:59:00Z
2017-02-03T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am especially grateful that you are such an exceptional advocate for children, specifically those who are not asking to be part of a divorced family. I had to deal with that growing up, and I wish my parents had listened to you before they got pregnant and subsequently married and divorced too young. Too many people are screwing up their kids' lives!<br /><br />Also, thank you for your service to veterans and their families. I am a 21 year veteran of the Army and the Army National Guard. I deployed to Afghanistan in 2011 and it was really hard on me and my family. I'm very happy to be retired now and staying home full-time. My husband is also a 20 year Army veteran and retired Special Forces Green Beret. We know all about sacrifices, and we know how wonderful you are in so many ways. Keep up the good work!<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Audra<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2017-02-03T18:59:00Z
Priceless Memories
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Priceless-Memories/59147378162315499.html
2017-02-02T18:59:00Z
2017-02-02T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Having my baby changed my life in ways I never expected. The minute I heard my son's very first cry, I was in awe. When we were back in my hospital room, and the nurse put him in my arms, he remained there all night long. It was such a beautiful thing to watch him sleep, and I've never let that feeling depart from my memory.<br /><br />The next night, he cried all night long, and I ended up crying right along with him. Ya gotta love the combination of sleep deprivation and being hormonal! <br /><br />It seems like just yesterday that he was a tiny baby. Now he's just a few short years from adulthood, but I wouldn't trade those very first early memories for anything.<br /><br />Lani<br /><br />
Staff
2017-02-02T18:59:00Z
Redirecting Energy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Redirecting-Energy/-963114132869569304.html
2017-02-01T18:59:00Z
2017-02-01T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />One of my nieces has 6 kids, all nearly grown, productive, truly nice people. She stayed home to raise them, along with a strong and loving husband, each of them demonstrating with great wit, wisdom and patience consistently great parenting.<br /><br />She once told me a story that illustrated all these qualities. Two of her boys, at around ages eight and ten, were tap dancing all over her last nerve with their bickering one summer morning. She went to the shed, got a length of clothesline and called the boys outside. She put them nose to nose, arms at their sides, and proceeded to wrap the rope around and around them from shoulder to knee. She told them she didn't know what their differences had been thus far, but they needed to work together right now, and she marched back into the house.<br /><br />Looking out the window a few minutes later, they were wriggling, rolling and laughing their way out of the tangle, earlier arguments forgotten. I commented that it was a clever punishment. "Oh, no," she said. "I wasn't punishing them. I was just redirecting their energy!"<br /><br />Sue <br /><br />
Staff
2017-02-01T18:59:00Z
1111
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/1111/-298520156330348927.html
2017-01-31T18:59:00Z
2017-01-31T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My dad, with no college degree, provided for a family of four and allowed my mom to stay home and raise us. He was always there when we had soccer games or other events. I never remember feeling in want of anything, even though we didn't have a lot of money, and we never went to Disneyland (much to the shock of all the other kids in our area). Even more importantly, my dad loved my mom. That meant the world to me. He showed it every day.<br /><br />The impact my dad on me had a ripple effect. When I was in college, I met a guy who was visiting our church and was in limbo as to whether or not he should move closer to his daughter when he got out of the Marines. I hardly knew him, but I spoke up and told him he should move. I felt I HAD to speak up for his young daughter. I had needed MY daddy, and I just knew she needed hers. He <em>did</em> move, and while I had no idea at the time of what was going to happen, I married that same Marine a few years later.<br /><br />We married before I discovered your radio show, and now I understand the challenges of bringing stepparents into the mix. It can be difficult and it takes huge sacrifices, but I have witnessed the most priceless moments when I see my husband and his daughter together. And I think...what would it be like if that were missing? God bless good dads. They help hold our fragile society together. <br /><br />Hailey<br />
Staff
2017-01-31T18:59:00Z
Because of Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Because-of-Dr.-Laura/-936994709588987259.html
2017-01-31T18:59:00Z
2017-01-31T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband called me from a business trip before he went to bed. He told me "I miss you. I was thinking about how I leave my bathroom counter a mess, my dishes in the sink and you don't say a word - you just wipe things up and put things away. Why don't you nag me anymore?" I told him "It's because of Dr. Laura!" And he laughed and said "I LOVE that Dr. Laura!"<br /><br />It's true - I hear your voice saying to me "Don't be a nagging wife," and I smile sweetly and love him. He provides a beautiful home, nice cars, and a housekeeper every Tuesday! I don't freak out, and occasionally have to physically cover my mouth with my hand to make sure the nagging stuff doesn't come out because I hear you in my head. My brain-to-mouth reflexes are getting much quicker, thanks to you! <br /><br />My husband is good-looking, a great provider, and he loves me. It is shocking how much better men treat you when you simply treat them like MEN - when you are nice, loving, smell good, take care of yourself and cook, even if it's just a few times a week. We're going on five years of marriage - no kids yet, but we're leading pretty good life!<br /><br />Deena <br /><br />
Staff
2017-01-31T18:59:00Z
Changing The World
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-The-World/927480171769271901.html
2017-01-30T18:59:00Z
2017-01-30T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am not a glossy-eyed fan. Your work is incredibly valuable, your character is admirable, but I also know you're human, and I don't have you on a pedestal. I know you make mistakes and that you hurt and suffer like the rest of us. I know we might easily disagree on small points of human conversation in person, as do even the best of friends. But I know you understand my pain and loneliness as a widow. I know that you helped me make my relationship with my dearly beloved husband better than it ever was for as long as we had (which was nowhere near long enough). I am only 51 years old, and I hear many young women accepting your advice and trying to change. They need to listen, because they are the future. <br /><br />Recently, while driving with my adult daughter, I asked if she wanted to listen to Dr. Laura or to me during our drive. The joke was that there was no difference according to her! Thankfully, she gets it - thank you!<br /><br />We are called to change the part of the world where we are put, even though we want to change all of it and cannot. You have done that. May you have many more years on the air. We need you.<br /><br />Annette <br />
Staff
2017-01-30T18:59:00Z
Diving Into Healing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Diving-Into-Healing/964436472560429005.html
2017-01-27T18:59:00Z
2017-01-27T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I recently heard a call where a woman had lost two of her boys. I hope that she took your advice and goes to the beach and makes some new friends. I, too, have had a child die. <br />He was my first born and was 30 years old. It's been 51 months since his birth into the stars.<br /><br />I always thought that if I lost any of my children, I would have had to be kept in a corner and drugged for the rest of my life to get through it. Thankfully, that didn't happen, because I dove head first into my husband and friends' circle of arms and love.<br /><br />I realized that even though I lost him, I had had many blessings:<br /><ol>
<li>He lived with me for 10 months before he passed away. I got to be my kid's mom to my adult son every day and hug him and tell him I loved him.</li>
<br />
<li>I have a 16 year old grandson who I love with every being of my soul.</li>
<br />
<li>I have a circle of women friends who refused to let me fall or feel sorry for myself.</li>
<br />
<li>And, of course, I have my husband, who has gone through this with me and been there for me every step of the way. </li>
</ol><br />I didn't want to be like my mother, who was never the same after my brother died. I want my other children to look back and say that I was the strongest woman they have ever known. Thank you, Dr. Laura for being a shining example to those who have loved and lost someone important in our lives. <br /><br />Macey<br />
Staff
2017-01-27T18:59:00Z
One-On-One Adventures With Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/One-On-One-Adventures-With-Mom/-256143425121512812.html
2017-01-26T18:59:00Z
2017-01-26T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Recently, I took my 2 year old on an adventure at the zoo. We saw bears, a giraffe, and elephants as he pointed each one to me and told me their sounds. We smelled exotic flowers in the garden.<br /><br />Then another day we went to a store that featured household goods. We turned our shopping cart into a train and we pointed out the animals on different objects and smelled an array of floral candles.<br /><br />These are just some of the ways that I spend time with my son, and every day is a wonderful day that I get to be my husband's girlfriend and my son's mama. Even though he has just turned two, I'm already getting questions from friends and family about when he'll be going to "school." Somehow it's very difficult for people to see why I refuse to put my son's development, care, education and love received in the hands of hired help. This is what being a stay-at-home mom gives to our son - one-on-one adventures, hidden lessons in every part of our day, and the ability to give him the very best we can afford - a loving home.<br /><br />You have instilled in me the importance of my role in his life, and I thank you for helping our family grow and thrive through so many life-changing decisions, including this one.<br /><br />A doting mama,<br /><br />Tara<br />
Staff
2017-01-26T18:59:00Z
My 'Wasted' Talent
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Wasted-Talent/-562486645029668132.html
2017-01-25T18:59:00Z
2017-01-25T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am the product of the women's lib movement. My parents encouraged me to pursue my education as high as possible. The end result was my delivering my first baby at the end of my medical residency. I was expected to pursue an intensive fellowship and continue research.<br /><br />It wasn't until I was pregnant that the grave implications of my career path and decision to be a mother hit me. I wept, realizing that I had a few months to find another woman to raise my child. I felt trapped. My husband, also a doctor, had a similar epiphany. I turned down the fellowship that I had worked so hard for, to the dismay of my colleagues, who all thought a nanny was a great solution. <br /><br />When I announced my decision to leave and be a stay-at-home mom, I came under heavy criticism about my wasted talent and education. My husband stood by my side. You encouraged me through your program. It's now sixteen years later, and we have two boys and a girl. I'm able to work on a contingent basis for local doctors, because even though my children are old enough to be left alone, they need me even more now, as does my husband.<br /><br />Our marriage thrived after I stopped working too. I had time to be my husband's girlfriend, and there were no longer arguments over whose career was more important. I have not once looked back and thought about who I could have been. I look to the future with peace, knowing we gave our children our all and the roots to be successful.<br /><br />Nadine<br />
Staff
2017-01-25T18:59:00Z
Giving It To Me Bluntly
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Giving-It-To-Me-Bluntly/548105232997851394.html
2017-01-24T18:58:00Z
2017-01-24T18:58:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I called your show about 18 years ago about my abusive husband, who happened to be a police officer. I think that I was hoping (because of my lack of self-confidence and fear of the unknown) that you would tell me that I owed it to my children to keep the family together regardless of his abuse.<br /><br />Instead, you not only condemned <strong><em>his</em></strong> behavior, but you also condemned <strong><em>mine</em></strong>. You stripped away every excuse that I gave as to why I thought I should stay and you held me accountable for accepting the way he treated me and my children. <br /><br />THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for telling me what I didn't want to hear, and not only giving me the courage to stand up and get out of that situation for my children's well-being as well as my own, but also for opening my eyes as to MY role in allowing the abuse to continue because of my fears of standing on my own two feet.<br /><br />I've been divorced now for 16 years and a few years ago entered into a wonderful marriage with a kind, loving man. I'm the grandmother of four, and I'm finally with a man I can honestly call the love of my life. Thank you for "<em>giving it to me</em>" bluntly.<br /><br />Cassie<br />
Staff
2017-01-24T18:58:00Z
Thank You For Keeping Me Company
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You-For-Keeping-Me-Company/-513773743432615235.html
2017-01-23T18:59:00Z
2017-01-23T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I used to sit and listen to you when I was getting my chemotherapy treatments. You gave me strength and wisdom and love, and for that, I am truly thankful.<br /><br />I still brag that I received flowers from you after my cancer diagnosis. I'm not out of the woods yet, but the flowers were a great surprise and very thoughtful. Thank you for making me smile in my darkest days. Thank you for always being there and telling the truth even when it's hard for us to hear it. <br /><br />I know you had a big birthday last week. I wish for you many more birthdays and for you to smile, relax and enjoy this beautiful life.<br /><br />Jessica<br />
Staff
2017-01-23T18:59:00Z
Mommy Pressure
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mommy-Pressure/320861753038987784.html
2017-01-20T18:59:00Z
2017-01-20T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Despite having listened to you for many hours while pregnant, when my son was six months old, I put him in part-time daycare. The pressure from "mommy" magazines and friends who considered themselves experts on child rearing was strong. Horror stories swam in my mind of kids who suffered social development disorders and academic challenges early on, all because they didn't have the "advantage" of having experienced daycare from an early age.<br /><br />Then one day on a hunch, I popped in early to pick him up. He was in a crib, on his back, screaming. The two pacifiers in the crib with him weren't his, and two of the daycare workers in the room were sitting at a little table in the corner enjoying their coffee. I picked him up, walked out, and filed a formal complaint. My child never saw the inside of a daycare facility again.<br /><br />He's now ten years old and is confident, social, and a well-rounded kid who loves to learn and is actually a great public speaker. He has a six year old sister who has never been in daycare and neither of them suffer from any type of social anxiety. <br /><br />Please, please continue to urge new and seasoned mothers alike to stay home with their children. There is no substitute for a solid, safe home. Daycare doesn't make successful adults - adults caring for their children first and foremost do. <br /><br />Selena <br />
Staff
2017-01-20T18:59:00Z
Nothing Prepares A Mother For Testosterone
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Nothing-Prepares-A-Mother-For-Testosterone/86786160982257527.html
2017-01-19T18:59:00Z
2017-01-19T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I have two boys, ages 15 and 18, and I'm glad I married an alpha male, because he is really raising our boys into men. <br /><br />Nothing prepares a mother for the surge and impact of testosterone on their once loving, compliant little boys. Their physical strength, verbal hostility and drive to take risks has often been more than I can successfully handle. My husband, however, has always been there to hold the line, make them accountable and accept no excuses when the rules have been challenged. <br /><br />But I found I DO have a role - raising a boy into a man requires me to role model behavior that requires respect for women, displaying and elevating feminine qualities that are to be treated with awe and admiration. <br /><br />When parents don't take their own roles seriously, young men today face even more challenges. A father who is present, invested in them and respected, along with a mother who supports him, will be well equipped for what lies ahead!<br /><br />Ada <br />
Staff
2017-01-19T18:59:00Z
Family Values Never Go Out Of Style
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Family-Values-Never-Go-Out-Of-Style/917668779224511925.html
2017-01-18T18:59:00Z
2017-01-18T18:59:00Z
Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I want to assure you that your advice has not fallen on deaf ears with regard to the younger generation. I'm 28 years old and after five years of courtship and countless conversations about values, family and the future we wanted to build together, I can now say "<em>I chose wisely</em>" in a husband. I look forward to calling you in a few years and saying not only that I'm my husband's girlfriend but that "<em>I am my kid's mom</em>."<br /><br />My mother listened to you and made major sacrifices, giving up a career that brought in more money than my dad's, because staying home with us was worth everything to her. She never missed a field trip, gymnastics meet or unexpected snow day off because she made sure she was always there. I was beyond thrilled that I found a man who both supported and WANTED that too. He's certainly not a "<em>limp dick!</em>" <br /><br />Thank you for being a voice of encouragement for my mom, and one that let me and my sister know that good men and family values never go out of style. I hope this note brightens your day and gives you hope for a generation that makes me want to roll my eyes more often than I'd like to admit!<br /><br />Nikki<br />
Staff
2017-01-18T18:59:00Z
Mommy Burn Out
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mommy-Burn-Out/-164821722952495856.html
2017-01-17T18:59:00Z
2017-01-17T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am an extremely grateful stay-at-home mom of two small boys. I have such fond memories of that first magical year with my first son of me baking in my sunny kitchen while he explored the world beneath my feet, and your audiobooks played in the background. I also had your audiobooks with me when I drove around running errands, attending local playgroups, libraries, parks and play dates. <br /><br />When my second son came along, I adopted the "I feel sorry for myself for having to do it all perfectly" attitude. The magic moments turned into resentful ones and my attitude of gratitude was diminished. I blamed my husband, children, and sometimes even the dog! I was chronically tired and overwhelmed instead of inspired and invigorated. I felt guilty for not being the best I could be and I still do!<br /><br />Then, just yesterday, I found the answer in your book, "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Praise-Stay-at-Home-Moms-Laura-Schlessinger/dp/B0058M5RD0" target="_blank">In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms</a></em>." Today, I'm dropping the guilt, forgiving myself and recognizing that the root of the problem was my trying too hard and burning out. I'm resurrecting the blissful feeling of raising up my boys, being the best wife I can be to my hard-working supportive husband, and savoring each and every moment. <br /><br />You helped save my family and my sanity. I now have a renewed sense of confidence thanks to you.<br /><br />Janis<br /><br />
Staff
2017-01-17T18:59:00Z
Tips For Coping In Hard Times
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Tips-For-Coping-In-Hard-Times/642430198475579226.html
2017-01-16T18:59:00Z
2017-01-16T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've had a horrendous few years brought about by family betrayal and my son's selection of a brutal wife. I suffered greatly emotionally, but I found several things that helped me through it that I'd like to share.<br /><br /><ol>
<li>My husband and I bolstered each other up and found great comfort in supporting each other through this tough time. </li>
<br />
<li>By listening to you, I heard callers who were in similar situations, and it was important for me to understand that I wasn't the whack job in this situation.</li>
<br />
<li>My blessed horse. Horses (if you aren't allergic or afraid) are among the most therapeutic animals in the world. By spending as much time as I could with him, he helped keep me sane when I thought I was losing it.</li>
<br />
<li>I ramped up my yoga practice and found profound relaxation and better fitness.</li>
<br />
<li>My friends helped hold me up, had my back and loved me, warts and all.</li>
<br />
<li>Long hot baths. Bubbles were surprisingly helpful.</li>
<br />
<li>Helping others. Amazingly, there is always someone worse off than you. You may feel like you've gotten a bad deal in life until you walk beside someone whose been dealt a worse deal. </li>
</ol><br />Dr. Laura, you are an anchor in my life. Thank you for what you do. I know YOU know it's important, or you would have retired by now! Know that you are appreciated and loved.<br /><br />A fan,<br /><br />Daisy<br />
Staff
2017-01-16T18:59:00Z
I'm Glad You Are There When I Need You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Glad-You-Are-There-When-I-Need-You/880639357048735902.html
2017-01-13T18:59:00Z
2017-01-13T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I started listen to your show three years ago. While I had heard of you, I never really understood how your help could be so far-reaching. I was dealing with undiagnosed depression - I just felt sad, lonely, and angry. I was drinking more than usual, and I felt awful. <br /><br />Since listening to you, I stopped drinking, went back to school, got an MBA, and just celebrated 16 years at a job I happen to love. I'm not sure why I was so lost, but thank you for helping me. I've never called you on the air, but I'm happy to know you're there if I ever need to do so. <br /><br />Much love to you, Dr. Laura. You have done so much for me, and words simply aren't enough. I am 50 years old, yet I feel like I have only just begun to live!<br /><br />Barry<br />
Staff
2017-01-13T18:59:00Z
I Found The Strength To Do The Right Thing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Found-The-Strength-To-Do-The-Right-Thing/-180975177956739795.html
2017-01-12T18:59:00Z
2017-01-12T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I ran away from my unpredictable and hurtful parents at 14 and was taken in by my current family. I called you at the time, and you told me to minimize contact with destructive people.<br /><br />Over the last year, I've done just that, but not without pushback. My parents play blame games, silent treatment games and more. They refuse to acknowledge my hurt and their responsibility for it. Then yesterday, I finally did what I've heard you suggest to many callers - I blocked them from my phone. I decided that enough was enough and I wasn't going to be made to feel guilty for protecting myself.<br /><br />The last year has been incredibly difficult and I'm still not out of it yet. But thank you for giving me the strength to do the right thing for myself, my husband and my kids. I listen to you every day and it gives me clarity and strength to continue to do the right thing. It's tough, but when I hear you telling people to do it anyway, I know that I can too!<br /><br />Marissa <br />
Staff
2017-01-12T18:59:00Z
Making A Better Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-A-Better-Marriage/-675378608323086015.html
2017-01-11T18:59:00Z
2017-01-11T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am a 40 year old happily married woman. I consider my marriage of almost 20 years an excellent one. I'm a schoolteacher and have heard you reference "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Marriage/dp/0061142824" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage</a></em>" so many times that I had to check it out for myself.<br /><br />I consider myself an "<em>old school</em>" wife and I was a stay-at-home mom for many years, but I picked up some pointers from reading your wonderfully well-written book. It's going to be my go-to wedding gift for all couples.<br /><br />Thank you for your honesty and your no-nonsense approach to marriage and specifically to "<em>wifely duties</em>." Your book lines up directly with the things my mother taught me, but I can still see room for improvement.<br /><br />Thank you for helping me to have an even better marriage!<br /><br />Callie<br />
Staff
2017-01-11T18:59:00Z
They Are Training To Be Adults
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/They-Are-Training-To-Be-Adults/297789000593076335.html
2017-01-10T18:59:00Z
2017-01-10T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I listened recently to your comments about raising kids who do chores in order to help them grow up to be adults who can actually take care of themselves. I have a 13 year old boy and a 16 year old girl. They each keep their own rooms clean, do their own laundry, take the garbage out, clean the bathrooms, and take turns picking up the dog poop in the back yard.<br /> <br />Do they complain? Yes, but I tell them they are training to be adults. Do they remember every chore? No, so I remind them with “to do” lists. Do they try to guilt me that I am a “mean mom?” Of course – all the time – but I don’t fall for it. I believe that, eventually, the skills they are learning will become behaviors that are habits. At least I’ll know that I did my best to help them learn these important skills for life. It all starts with my example as a parent.<br /><br />Adriana <br />
Staff
2017-01-10T18:59:00Z
Taking Our Minds Off The Pain
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-Our-Minds-Off-The-Pain/529910449651733629.html
2017-01-09T18:59:00Z
2017-01-09T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My nine year old daughter suffers from a painful neuropathy that is the result of a fractured foot. She is improving daily and works hard to keep a smile on her face. We have to travel a long distance once a week for three hours of therapy, and she requests that we listen to your show, because it takes her mind off of the pain! We listen and try to guess your advice.<br /><br />I made the decision to be a stay-at-home mom, and unbeknownst to you, you have encouraged me and supported my decision when my family has ridiculed me. I am even more grateful for that choice now, because if I were not a stay-at-home mom, we probably would have had a longer delay in getting my daughter's diagnosis and treatment. There's also no way I could travel so far so often to get her the best care if I were working. She's a fighter and is determined to get past this. Her prognosis is good with another 6-9 months of therapy. Thank you - you are a great comfort to us both.<br /><br />Nelle <br />
Staff
2017-01-09T18:59:00Z
Keeping Your Word
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-Your-Word/-813515299525556963.html
2017-01-06T18:59:00Z
2017-01-06T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I have two sisters and one brother who called my father on holidays and visited maybe once a year, even though they didn't live that far away. They complained to me that our father got grumpy and mad because they didn't visit enough. I didn't blame my father - he was 88 years old at the time, and had just lost his second wife. At her funeral, I told him I would be there for him, and he responded "I'm going to need a lot of help."<br /><br />After that time, we did a lot of things together, but then his vision deteriorated and he had to stop driving, which devastated him. Then his health took a turn for the worse. He got very miserable and it was difficult to visit him, but I went anyway because I was the only one willing to help him, and he needed a lot of help. <br /><br />I listened to your show, and recalled your saying that if you make a promise to someone, even though things can get tough, that you stick with your promise. I stuck with my dad until he died this past September, and I thank you every day for that advice to stick with my promise. I have no regrets, and I am very glad to have been able to be there for him. Thank you, Dr. Laura for getting me through a very difficult time in my life.<br /><br />Karyn <br />
Staff
2017-01-06T18:59:00Z
I Made This Work
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Made-This-Work/-626814059185346610.html
2017-01-05T18:59:00Z
2017-01-05T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I took your advice literally three years ago.<br /><br />I called you and told you that I'm divorced with a 14 year old daughter and moved out of state for a job which paid over $200,000 annually. You gave me a tongue-lashing about not parenting my daughter. So I changed my mind and now I work as the manager of a convenience store. I make a little under $40,000 a year.<br /><br />I used to be an oil and gas attorney. But I was away from my daughter. Now I'm back home with her, and because of you, I'm raising her to be a wonderful person. Your program has very much influenced me and continues to do so.<br /><br />I wanted to let you know that I made this work, and how much it's changed my life for the better. Hopefully, other men will take it as a cue to do the right thing.<br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura for everything you do for everyone. You are a life saver!<br /><br />Wayne <br />
Staff
2017-01-05T18:59:00Z
Respecting My Daughter's Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Respecting-My-Daughters-Marriage/369092918546565048.html
2017-01-04T18:59:00Z
2017-01-04T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My daughter got married in 2016, and I'm thrilled to see her married to a man I like and respect. A few months ago, I visited them, but since they're in a small one-bedroom apartment, I rented a hotel near their place, which allowed me to visit during the day, and sleep in my own bed at night. What I didn't anticipate was feeling a bit awkward and realizing I have a different role now. <br /><br />My daughter's space is now her husband's space too. I asked permission for lots of things to demonstrate respect for them as a married couple. Normally, I cleaned and cooked for her when my daughter was single, but as a couple, they enjoy preparing dinners and cleaning up afterward. They asked me to relax and enjoy myself, but I felt emotions of feeling left out, not included, not in control of knowing what my place was welling up inside. When I returned home, I still felt a bit "off."<br /><br />Then I caught up with a podcast of yours. It was validating to hear that you had a similar experience when your son married, and basically, you summed it up as finding a new role for yourself. So thank you, Dr. Laura, for providing me with daily education, concern and counseling. I am still my daughter's mother, but I now have a son too, and together they are adorable. My new role (which I'm getting used to) includes enjoying them as a couple and doing activities with them without "interfering."<br /><br />Lorraine<br />
Staff
2017-01-04T18:59:00Z
I AM The Heart Of My Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-AM-The-Heart-Of-My-Family/-321746685183782168.html
2017-01-03T18:59:00Z
2017-01-03T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />As I lay on my bed this morning, petting my dog, chatting with my husband as he got ready for work, something you've said repeatedly on-air sunk in. I'm 38 years old, married 1 1/2 years, and I'm almost 8 months pregnant. I've already quit my fabulous job as a music teacher to be a housewife and stay-at-home Mommy. However, I've struggled to find my center in these new roles. Since I taught my last music lesson, I've done all the things I think I'm supposed to do - be attentive to my husband, make meals, create a pleasant home for my husband to return to every evening, plan fun activities, host parties and more. Yet, I've felt emotionally disconnected from much of it.<br /><br />That's when I recalled what you've said many times: "<em>Day care is a place where a child is unloved all day</em>." So, naturally, home is where a child or husband is loved all day. Home is love, but what does it look like or feel like? How do I connect my heart to these new roles? That's when it hit me this morning - THIS is what it looks and feels like! A calm, warm, patient woman smiling, listening, and loving. My heart is a big, cozy bed that my family and pets get to snuggle into. As I type this, my baby started kicking wildly - in agreement? <br /><br />I am the heart of my family. As I've also heard you say before, "Do the right thing and the feelings will follow." I now understand what you mean. I've behaved lovingly, and now I FEEL loving. It's a wonderful, peaceful sensation. Thank you!<br /><br />Warmest wishes,<br /><br />Leigh-Anna<br />
Staff
2017-01-03T18:59:00Z
Taking Steps Towards Better Relationships
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-Steps-Towards-Better-Relationships/331002633940564472.html
2016-12-16T18:59:00Z
2016-12-16T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My son and daughter-in-law live across the country from us, and they have a happy, devoted relationship. When they had a baby, however, our relationship has been very uncomfortable and tense. The last time we visited, she explained how she wanted to resolve the big "elephant in the room."<br /><br />She then proceeded to describe all the things that had upset her. Most of them were HER interpretation of something I had done, or a misunderstanding that she had. I was able to explain my side and reinforce that I did not intentionally try to overstep my bounds and would never do anything to undermine her authority or do something she did not want me to do with her baby. We actually came to a meeting of the minds and cleared the air. Then we tried to figure out how to go forward.<br /><br />We came up with the idea that at the end of each day of our visits together, we would just "touch base" and see if there was anything that happened that day that we needed to talk about. So that's what we did. I have to say it has relieved all of the tension, and the most recent time we visited, we all enjoyed ourselves, because we were all relaxed.<br />I have to give her credit for taking the initiative to meet this "head on." It took courage for her to take that first step, especially since I was unaware of the reasons for her tension. I thought I'd share this story in the hopes it might help another mother-in-law and daughter-in-law the way it has helped us.<br /><br />Cynthia<br /><br />
Staff
2016-12-16T18:59:00Z
You Planted A Seed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Planted-A-Seed/857843862807517232.html
2016-12-15T18:59:00Z
2016-12-15T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />It's hard to believe how simple and uncomplicated men are when you grow up surrounded by spoiled, entitled females! I recall my husband telling me how disrespectful I was to him, and how I often "turned the tables" on him. Things went downhill fast, yet I didn't have anyone to turn to in our family (as there were no marriages left intact). That's when I decided to "open my brain" and really listen to what you were saying on your show and in your books. You were absolutely right!<br /><br />I realized that even though the "feminist mentality" was firmly planted in me, it didn't have to grow any further. My man was like putty in my hands once I started doing the right things. I was shocked at how quickly things changed when I made some adjustments.<br /><br />I was 23 and at a temp job when the manager would put you on the radio, and I remembered my jaw dropping from your advice. I thought you were crazy, and I thought my manager was crazy for listening to you. However, you planted a seed that I just never fertilized until recently. I'm 37 now and my husband and I are finally very happy. Thank you for your guidance and your nagging!<br /><br />Hayley<br /><br />
Staff
2016-12-15T18:59:00Z
Homemaking As A Profession
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Homemaking-As-A-Profession/148262298766508266.html
2016-12-14T18:59:00Z
2016-12-14T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Twenty-eight years ago, after the birth of our first child, I was laid off from my well-paid, mid-level management job. I was terrified, because, while I didn't want to leave my new baby in someone else's care, at that time, my income was higher than my husband's.Eventually, I learned to decorate birthday cakes, which I continued to do for twenty-five years. I was able to decorate cakes after everyone was in bed so I could devote my attention to my young family. <br /><br />For the past 28 years, I've applied my management skills to running the household. I decided to approach motherhood and homemaking as a profession. I prioritized tasks (but the family came first) and I became an expert bargain shopper and penny pincher. I kept an orderly, clean house, kept the yard, sewed some of the kids' clothes and all of our drapes and home décor. I shopped yard sales, fixed up old furniture and constantly compared prices. We drove used cars. My husband eventually went into business for himself, and I was available to answer his phone, do his invoicing, and help him support us. <br /><br />Our three kids are all grown, and are responsible, caring, delightful people. We're very proud of them. My husband is certain that the choices and sacrifices we made to keep me at home were key to who they became. I am grateful for my life, the husband who encouraged me to stay home, for my kids and for the chance to be the best wife, mom, and homemaker that I could be. I can look back now and say that I regret NOTHING. I missed nothing, and no amount of money from a prestigious job could convince me to live my life any differently.<br /><br />Pam<br />
Staff
2016-12-14T18:59:00Z
True Role Models
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/True-Role-Models/534931375647562341.html
2016-12-13T18:59:00Z
2016-12-13T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've been married 24 years and have had a great relationship with my in-laws from the get-go. My mother-in-law is probably one of the kindest people you will ever meet. From the start, she was always there for me, but not in a pushy or annoying way. She is Grandmom to 8 grandchildren, 3 of whom are mine. She spent many hours babysitting, visiting and playing with all the kids when she good. She volunteered in the kids' classrooms, helped with homework, took them to the theater, played games and did arts and crafts with them. We're lucky she lives so close. And she did all this while maintaining a very full personal life - traveling the world, knitting, playing bridge and being social. My father-in-law too spent many hours with the grandchildren, sharing his wisdom and making sure they always had what they needed. <br /><br />Today, they're both in their eighties and not in great health - she is in early stages of dementia and he is dealing with <a href="http://www.copdfoundation.org/What-is-COPD/Understanding-COPD/What-is-COPD.aspx" target="_blank">COPD</a>. I am happy to say that I am able to repay their many kindnesses by helping to care for them at this stage of their life. Often times, my friends say that I am the "<em>nicest</em>" daughter-in-law, but I reply that I consider myself lucky to be able to be there for them. My children adore their grandparents and will have many special memories of them from their childhood. I often talk to my kids about "<em>choosing wisely</em>" when they are looking for a husband or wife. I can only hope that I will be able to be as good a role model for their spouses as well as my mother-in-law has been to me. <br /><br />Best regards,<br /><br />Lee Ann<br />
Staff
2016-12-13T18:59:00Z
Our Mom's Support
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-Moms-Support/802894452920861789.html
2016-12-12T18:59:00Z
2016-12-12T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My mother graduated with a Master's Degree in Electrical Engineering and worked very hard to earn her place in an industry that was more male-dominated back then than it is today. When I was born, she gave up her hard-won career to raise me and eventually my three younger siblings.<br /><br />When my youngest brother graduated high school, she went back to graduate school to earn her Ph.D. in electrical engineering. In a few weeks, she will have finished teaching her first college level engineering course. Through all of this, our dad was her number one supporter, and helped out when he could, but she was there for our family nonetheless.<br /><br />Her dissertation is dedicated to her grandmother, and I thought you'd like to hear what she wrote:<br />
<blockquote><span> </span><em>This dissertation is dedicated to my grandmother who raised her children, then dared to pursue her dream of attending college even though she had never finished high school. Her accomplishment inspired me to believe this goal was attainable. And to young women who hear the siren call of our culture urging them to forgo child rearing with its trials and delayed gratification in order to pursue the more immediate gratification of a professional career, you CAN have it all if you organize your life in a serial manner and not in parallel, taking on everything at once.</em></blockquote>
Needless to say, our entire family is very proud of my mother!<br /><br />Risa<br />
Staff
2016-12-12T18:59:00Z
Our Top Priority
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-Top-Priority/-934676878249121296.html
2016-12-09T19:01:00Z
2016-12-09T19:01:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />From day one in our relationship, my husband and I made it a top priority that when we had children, I would be a stay-at-home mom. We started out in a small trailer, because it was what we could afford. As job changes and different income streams were created, we slowly expanded our lifestyle. But even as we followed a budget and paid bills, we've made sure not to put ourselves in a position where we can't get out of debt. We don't eat out, buy expensive coffees, or put our kids in activities that cost a lot. We would rather shut off the phone and internet, drive one "paid in full" car, and eat rice and beans rather than have to send our kids to a daycare in order that both of us could work. <br /><br />My husband's job income dropped by a third this year, so I temporarily picked up some babysitting and home care work. All my work is scheduled when my husband is home, so one of us is there with the kids at all times. The best reward of living like this? Hearing our 17 year old son say "I would rather get a job than you, Mom, because you need to be at home!" So, no, I don't have monthly manicures or other fancy things. But I do have kids who are being raised with my husband's and my values. And that is worth it all.<br /><br />Tammy <br />
Staff
2016-12-09T19:01:00Z
I'm Still Grateful That I heard Your Words
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Still-Grateful-That-I-heard-Your-Words/-47836040852305548.html
2016-12-08T18:59:00Z
2016-12-08T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Over twenty years ago, I remember you saying that a divorce is not the kids' problem, and if the parents have to be geographically separated, one of us should move. Well, I followed your advice. When my son decided he wanted to live with his date in another city, I took a sabbatical, packed up my things and moved. That turned out to be the best thing I ever did!<br /><br />Not only did my son thrive by having his parents in the same town, even though we didn't live together because we were divorced, but he is now married to a wonderful young woman. He is a good husband and finished law school this year and got himself a great job. He doesn't want to make the same choices that his dad and I made, but he doesn't resent us for having made some of those choices. Rather, he embraces the love of his family and has passion for the work he does. After all these years, I'm still grateful that I heard your words when I needed them.<br /><br />Your loyal fan,<br /><br />Celeste <br />
Staff
2016-12-08T18:59:00Z
Bonding Time
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bonding-Time/-944620888574173997.html
2016-12-07T18:59:00Z
2016-12-07T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />One of the best decisions I ever made was to pick my sons up from high school daily, for that was the time when they did all their talking about the things that were on their minds, both negative and positive. It wasn't at the dinner table when we were all together as a family, and it wasn't at night before bed - they wanted to talk right after school! I remember feeling so sorry for parents who gave their children cars during high school and missed out on all of this wonderful bonding time. <br /><br />For a brief period, I also picked up a friend of theirs, who once remarked to me: "<em>I just LOVE being in the car with you all after school. You talk about so much good stuff!</em>" What he was trying to say is that I let my boys talk about what was on their minds - listening to all their opinions and also urging them to think about other perspectives. That young man's remark clinched it for me to know that I was a Mom who should "keep on keepin' on." So I urge all the younger stay-at- home Moms out there to consider staying home throughout their kids' high school years, too, as they need you then as much as ever.<br /><br />Patricia<br />
Staff
2016-12-07T18:59:00Z
I Finally 'Got It'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Finally-Got-It/-48543399660799875.html
2016-12-06T18:59:00Z
2016-12-06T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I grew up in an alcoholic, single-parent family with a revolving door of drugs and sexual as well as verbal abuse. I suffered immensely from my childhood, and I was ashamed of who I was and where I came from. With the love of my grandparents, I was taught values and the meaning of hard work. I was determined to be a successful adult. <br /><br />I failed for many years, until I found you. You helped me, just by listening to you scold, direct, and lovingly guide so many women who have shared my experiences and "felt" my feelings. Thanks to you, I chose well, and have an amazing husband who has told me for many years the same things that you encourage and demand from your listeners. But I was too stubborn to give in, because I thought my value came from my workplace.<br /><br />I finally "got" it, thanks to you, and because of you, I am my husband's girlfriend and left the corporate world to parent my child the RIGHT way by being a stay-at-home mom. While she is in school, I've also started to follow my path as an artist. You helped me improve my marriage and my relationship with my daughter. And I've shared your wisdom with friends and family. I feel so much peace knowing that the two most important people in my life are now truly the most important people I take care of every day - not a client, not an employer - just my family. <br /><br />Kara<br /><br />P.S. My husband thanks you too, for teaching me that men don't want to "talk it out."' They want food, sex, and back rubs! <br />
Staff
2016-12-06T18:59:00Z
You Taught Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Taught-Me/947282075874786214.html
2016-12-05T18:59:00Z
2016-12-05T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />A long time ago, you had a caller who expressed the need for her spouse to be more social when they would go out in public. As you talked to her, it became clear that the problem was actually insecurity on the part of the caller, and not an inadequacy of her spouse. <br /> <br />I took that to heart, because I was in a similar circumstance. You took a huge burden off my shoulders. I had been so worried if my husband was good enough, if he went out enough, if he was the life of the party. You taught me that he didn't need to be. We just celebrated our eighteenth anniversary and we are really happy. I truly believe that your words have been a huge part of that. Thank you so much!<br /><br />Lily<br />
Staff
2016-12-05T18:59:00Z
We All Play Our Part
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-All-Play-Our-Part/-568692138215937453.html
2016-12-02T18:59:00Z
2016-12-02T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />We have three children and my oldest is 8. She is old enough to do a few chores, like cleaning her room, picking up towels in her bathroom and feeding our cat. She also takes out the trash and puts away her clean clothes. My middle child is 4 and cleans her room and takes turns helping to clean the bathroom with her big sister, and also puts away her clean clothes. Their little brother is only one, but he is encouraged to pick up his toys after playing with them. <br /><br />My husband and I have explained to our kids that we all have our parts to play in the family, and we all have jobs to do. We've put the older kids in the extra curricular activities of their choice, but in order to participate, they have to keep their bathroom clean and clothes have to be put away. We teach them responsibility and respect, and I'm very proud of them.<br /><br />The reasoning that you have to work for something if you really want it (and not have it just handed to you) has really worked for us. My kids try hard in all aspects of their life and both they and we are proud of their accomplishments!<br /><br />Mari<br />
Staff
2016-12-02T18:59:00Z
Raising Little Men
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-Little-Men/52581868872428795.html
2016-12-01T18:59:00Z
2016-12-01T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />You were such a moral compass for me after my divorce. I raised my two boys alone, and decided early on to focus my attention on making them into great men, rather than trying to find a new man for myself. I'm proud to say they're both now serving in the United States Army. Goal accomplished!<br /><br />I listened to you so much (especially when they were small) that once when we were eating pizza out in a restaurant, one of my sons saw a card on the table. He asked me what it said, and I started to read the 1-800 number listed on the card. Before I could finish, he chimed in - "I know what it says. It says 1-800-DR LAURA!"<br /><br />You helped me to train them well!<br /><br />Warmly, <br /><br />Delia <br />
Staff
2016-12-01T18:59:00Z
My Dr. Laura 'Pop Up'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Dr.-Laura-Pop-Up/975436698789358265.html
2016-11-30T18:59:00Z
2016-11-30T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I "<em>bundle dropped</em>" newspapers 21 years ago in Nebraska. I did it in the afternoon, so I could take my 5 and 3 year old kidlets with me. We listened to your show while I was doing my rounds. <br /><br />Every once in a while you would say something extraordinarily "<em>golden</em>," so I would jot it down on one of the newspaper bundle "<em>toppers</em>." I was going through some old papers the other day, and guess what I found? That "topper" paper loaded with some of your best gems! One of my favorites was "<em>what a child needs is more important than what you want</em>."<br /><br />You helped me through a rough parenting time in my life with your wise advice. I am a better person and mother because of you. I love it when that paper "<em>pops up</em>" among my things, as it has done every so often over the past 21 years. I will never throw it away. I leave it just as it is -- words of wisdom scribbled on an old newspaper sheet, just waiting for me to rediscover it.<br /><br />Rebecca <br />
Staff
2016-11-30T18:59:00Z
Giving Them Pride
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Giving-Them-Pride/212897325725815225.html
2016-11-29T18:59:00Z
2016-11-29T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My two boys, ages 3 and 5, have a chore chart already. I know some people think I'm crazy, but when I was a kid, I don't remember a time when I didn't have chores to do. I like what it did for me as a person. I want my kids to have pride in being able to do things for themselves.<br /><br />When my oldest son was 4 years old, he could make his own bed. He was reluctant to start, because he couldn't "make it like mom." I told him that I didn't care if it was perfect - it was more important that he tried and did the best he could. I also told him that the more you work at it, the better you get. Now that he's 5, he calls me to his room to show me his bed. It's just wonderful to see how proud of himself he is (and so am I). And the bonus to all of this is that my 3 year old sees this and now wants to learn how to make his own bed too!<br /><br />Janis<br />
Staff
2016-11-29T18:59:00Z
'MVP' of the Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/MVP-of-the-Family/209477869471278607.html
2016-11-28T18:59:00Z
2016-11-28T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband is a police officer who serves on the SWAT and helicopter teams. He is gone a lot, but luckily, we live within the city he serves, so I cook dinner whether he can be there or not, and sometimes he is there to sit down with us. The last year is the first time in eleven years I've ever seen my husband cry before going to work. I can't imagine everything he is going through - trying to protect people and being scrutinized and afraid for his safety at the same time. <br /><br />The other night, he left me a note saying how much he loved me and how I am the "<em>MVP</em>" of the family. Please keep letting wives know how much our precious men need us, especially those who are defending us and who are first responders. No matter what your husband's job is, be sure to kiss them goodbye every morning, and make a wonderful home for them to come back to at night (or if they're on long shifts of duty, whenever it is that they are able to make it home. Thank you, Dr. Laura, for remind us wives how important we are!<br /><br />Sarita <br />
Staff
2016-11-28T18:59:00Z
I STILL Have Work To Do
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-STILL-Have-Work-To-Do/109130783057280637.html
2016-11-22T18:59:00Z
2016-11-22T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When I was a child, I was not taught how to "<em>do the right thing</em>." My parents were never married, and they didn't really expect anything out of me. They didn't even encourage me to go to school! Although I was young, I knew in my heart that I didn't want to live the drug and alcohol-filled live of poverty as they did, so I went to school anyway. I graduated and made a better life for myself, despite the struggles I went through as a child.<br /><br />As an adult, I have been very proud of the fact that I dug myself out of a very deep ditch to get where I am today, but it wasn't until I started listening to your program that I realized I still have a lot of work to do. Every day, I listen to your podcast, and you teach me how to make better choices for myself and for my family, and I am becoming a better wife and mom because of it. I cannot thank you enough.<br /><br />With love and warm wishes,<br /><br />Sabrina<br />
Staff
2016-11-22T18:59:00Z
She Deserves My Best
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/She-Deserves-My-Best/-1261425079447860.html
2016-11-21T18:59:00Z
2016-11-21T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My wife is an independent woman who prides herself on meeting all challenges. Knowing her parents wouldn't be able to afford college for her, she worked all through high school so she could go. As a linguist, she has traveled all over the world, proud of her ability to navigate the ins and outs of living and communicating in foreign language countries. But through all her adventures, she never forgot that her ultimate goal was to marry and raise a family. <br /><br />She and I have been married for 19 years now, and I often think back to how appreciative she was early in our marriage for the long, backbreaking work I did to support our young family. I worked in construction outdoors, regardless of season or weather conditions. She fed me, bundled me up and sent me out to be the man I had promised her I would be. She worked hard to keep a warm home and raise our boys.<br /><br />She now teaches in a school nearby. Throughout the school year, she implores her students (all girls) to put themselves on pedestals. "Set the bar high" she tells them. "You'll be amazed at the heights real men can reach to earn your attention." Because of her, I know our boys will be fine, honorable men. And our honeymoon still hasn't ended. She deserves me to be my very best so I will continue to work to deserve her.<br /><br />Orlando<br />
Staff
2016-11-21T18:59:00Z
The Tools For Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Tools-For-Life/-575567788168763841.html
2016-11-18T18:59:00Z
2016-11-18T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />It's up to us, as parents, to equip our children to move forward in life on their own when it's time. Whether we equip them as our parents did us, or we do it in a very different way, we have to remember that our children are tuned into everything we do and say.<br /><br />My parents didn't teach me enough, so I'm doing things differently with my two daughters. My husband and I are showing them responsibility, how to deal with finances, how to stand up for themselves, and how to communicate effectively. We're hoping that with the foundation we're giving them, they'll grow up to be community-minded, caring adults, but ones who can take care of themselves too. <br /><br />Zina <br />
Staff
2016-11-18T18:59:00Z
Families Stick Together
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Families-Stick-Together/-136606457450078934.html
2016-11-17T18:59:00Z
2016-11-17T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I saw your recent Facebook post about bickering siblings. My parents didn't tolerate any behavior like that and there were six of us kids. They ran a tight ship - a ship full of love, balanced with discipline. <br /><br />With my own two children, I've seen plenty of squabbles. Sometimes I realized that I didn't need to run and rescue them. At other times, I had to intervene and teach them how to deal with disagreement. My husband has taught our son that his sister should be treated well and deserves his loyalty and protection. Families stick together.<br /><br />That doesn't mean we don't argue or have opposite points of view occasionally, but we have to find ways to deal lovingly with differences. Our kids are now 19 and 16, and as a result of how we dealt with their bickering when they were younger, they spend a lot of time together, laughing and having fun. Maturity and loving discipline cures a lot of youthful ills!<br /><br />Cara<br />
Staff
2016-11-17T18:59:00Z
Speaking To My Teenage Heart
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Speaking-To-My-Teenage-Heart/-696009745165881057.html
2016-11-16T18:59:00Z
2016-11-16T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />If I did one right thing, it was choosing wisely, and then treating kindly. In my late 20's, I committed to never getting married, because I wanted children, and I was only meeting "boys" - not men! My life was full, with good friends, activities, travel and experiences.<br /><br />Then BAM! This man stomped into my life, and on our second date told me I was going to be his wife. He then spent the next two years proving why I would be moronic to not choose him. Twelve years and two kids later, I'm a stay-at-home mom and just today, he went into work late, because our son was up all night with a cough, and my husband knew I had been up with him. He wanted to give me a chance to sleep in as well as cuddle with his boy and hand him tissue after tissue. I never would have been here if not for you speaking truth to my teenage heart. <br /><br />Now that I'm in my 40's, you are still my guide and surrogate mother. And to think I've never even sent you a thank you card. I hope this makes up for that!<br /><br />Frances <br />
Staff
2016-11-16T18:59:00Z
Keeping The Family Intact
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-The-Family-Intact/-952169628744200589.html
2016-11-15T18:59:00Z
2016-11-15T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Years ago, my husband and I agreed to divorce, but decided that the kids wouldn't go back and forth between two different homes. We opted to keep the kids in the family home we had once shared, so we rented an apartment nearby and my ex-husband and I were the ones that went back and forth. I was a stay-at-home mom, so I was with them in our home Monday through Friday, and then my husband stayed on the weekends and I moved into the apartment we had rented.<br /><br />After a couple of months, my ex and I were exhausted from going back and forth, and neither of us felt like we belonged anywhere. We decided that working on the problems in our marriage would be a lot less tiring than us moving in and out of the family home. We all started living together again, and 14 years later, we're the better for it. <br /><br />If <em>parents </em>were the ones required to uproot their lives every few days instead of the children in divorce situations, there might be more moms and dads putting more effort into keeping the family intact.<br /><br />Coralee<br />
Staff
2016-11-15T18:59:00Z
If I Don't Take Care of Him, Someone Else Will
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/If-I-Dont-Take-Care-of-Him,-Someone-Else-Will/715794959048086995.html
2016-11-14T18:59:00Z
2016-11-14T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband and I have been married for nine years and have two children, ages 5 and 8. I am a stay-at-home mom, and my smart, handsome, hard-working husband travels a lot for work. <br /><br />Life is stressful as a stay-at-home mom of busy boys, so I would often be grumpy and tired, and take my dear husband for granted when he was home by not treating him as his girlfriend. Because of this, we rarely had sex; he never seemed to want to. <br /><br />Recently, I began to realize that if I didn't take care of him, someone else would. So I began acting as I did when we first dated. Now I feel butterflies when he is near and when I think of him. We made love four times this week too. <br /><br />He said a very insightful thing to me last night - that when he didn't feel loved by me, he didn't feel like SHOWING me love. That's a very simple statement, but one that I think would help a lot of marriages. I listen to you daily and you are the reason that I finally figured it out. Thank you!<br /><br />Chloe<br />
Staff
2016-11-14T18:59:00Z
Sometimes Stuff Happens
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sometimes-Stuff-Happens/-154675208576600011.html
2016-11-11T18:59:00Z
2016-11-11T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I used to get really mad at myself when I dealt with things that were out of my control. I know it sounds silly, but that's the way I used to do it.<br /><br />Then I broke my foot. At first, I found myself saying "If only we didn't go to the beach that day, I would not have landed incorrectly when I was jumping waves." Then I took it further - "if only I had stayed with my friends at the bagel shop earlier in the day after our Zumba class when all was well." <br /> <br />That's when it dawned on me - I could have gotten injured bopping along in my Zumba class or on my way to work. I didn't deliberately cause the injury to my foot and I certainly didn't ask for it. Sometimes stuff happens. <br /><br />Once I let go, I made the best of the situation and I haven't repeated that behavior again. It really is all about how you frame the situation for yourself.<br /><br />Lena <br />
Staff
2016-11-11T18:59:00Z
My Dad, My Example
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Dad,-My-Example/11462768855578944.html
2016-11-10T18:59:00Z
2016-11-10T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When I was dating my husband, one of the questions that I considered was why I would want him to be the father of my future children.<br /><br />He was remarkably similar to my dad, who was and is a man I look up to and respect. My dad was a great example for me to know what to look for in a husband, and now I have two wonderful men in my life who are strong, independent, slow to anger, and fair and understanding in discipline. My husband loves and respects me, and knows when to step up and take charge with our kids. He shows me how much he cares for me by doing nice things when he can, even though he is busy with providing for our family of five girls. I stay at home with them, and we both agreed beforehand that he would do whatever it took to let me do that.<br /><br />He's a great dad to our little girls and even replaced our swings with pink swings! "Pink and glitter is just my life now," he says with a smile. I love him now more than ever and I can even laugh when he plays "dress up princess" (crown and all) with one of our little ones. I'm glad I gave thought to what he'd be like as a dad before I even considered marrying him. I definitely made the right choice.<br /><br />Erin <br />
Staff
2016-11-10T18:59:00Z
It's Not a Competition
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Not-a-Competition/-86084819618822686.html
2016-11-09T18:59:00Z
2016-11-09T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I hear some of your callers who have issues with their in-laws. I've never had any problem with mine. Maybe it's because I decided a long time ago that I knew what I wanted in a husband, and when you find the right person, chances are, his family is just as wonderful. There shouldn't be conflict, and it's not a competition!<br /><br />If you have the right attitude, often everything will go well. For example, my mother-in-law cooks and sometimes sends food over to us. I could take that as an insult. Instead, I see it as a lovely woman who has extra time on her hands and is being generous to her son and daughter-in-law. There's some food I just don't make at all, because hers is better!<br /><br />I do, however, bake a lot. While she has shared her baking recipes with me, she also has praised me for items I bake far better than she does. I take that as a compliment. We have found a peaceful coexistence that is in many situations mutually beneficial. I'm happy to have her as part of our family.<br /><br />Melinda<br />
Staff
2016-11-09T18:59:00Z
Bumps In The Road
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bumps-In-The-Road/-893514648154451074.html
2016-11-08T18:59:00Z
2016-11-08T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am a 43 year old widowed stay-at-home mom of a four year old girl. The loss of my husband, when our daughter was only 10 months old, was completely devastating, but listening to you made getting out of bed easier. My daughter had lost enough - I couldn't allow her to lose anymore.<br /><br />Because of you, I am a stay at home mommy, and my daughter thanks me every day for being there with her. I am teaching her the art of giving, so we do for others as much as we can, so they know we love them and appreciate them. Since we often listen to you in the car, my daughter asked me why I liked you! I told her that you helped me to be a better mommy and a better person, so now she tells everyone that WE listen to Dr. Laura because WE want to be better people! Her favorite phrase is even "Now, go do the right thing!"<br /><br />The curveballs life has thrown us haven't been fun or easy, but as my husband used to say, "it's not surviving the bumps in the road that determine success or happiness - it's how you go over them." <br /><br />I'm happy to let you know that I have turned several moms that used to work and place their children in daycare on to you, and they've changed their lives and become stay-at-home moms! So don't stop what you do. We all need you.<br /><br />With warmth and appreciation, <br /><br />Darla <br />
Staff
2016-11-08T18:59:00Z
The 'Bonus' Child
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Bonus-Child/963282723430735194.html
2016-11-07T18:59:00Z
2016-11-07T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am the child of parents who were 41 and 51 years old when I was born. I'm the youngest of six (my oldest sibling is 18 years older than me). When I was young, I lived through the fear of my parents dying, I lived through the embarrassment of being a fourth grader and people thinking my mother was my grandmother, since all the other parents were young. I also lived through my parents' death when I was 39 years old.My mom died first, followed by my Dad. He was ninety, so I was fortunate, since I would have been even younger if he hadn't made it to that age before he passed away. <br /><br />For these reasons, I always said I would be done with having babies by the time I was 30 (and I did), because I didn't think it was fair. While I loved my parents, and I was considered their "bonus" child, since my Mom was on birth control at the time, their ages did affect me as a child. <br /><br />You are spot on with your concern about having children at an older age, and for taking the child's point of view. I relate to that! Those children would be living the life I lived, worrying about their parents all the time, and whether or not they would be around to see them grow up. Thank you!<br /><br />My kids' YOUNG Mom (even though they think I am old),<br /><br />Barbara<br />
Staff
2016-11-07T18:59:00Z
Basic Human Decency
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Basic-Human-Decency/173560890489097759.html
2016-11-04T17:59:00Z
2016-11-04T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My non-religious, agnostic mother taught me the Bible verse "do unto others what you would have them do unto you," or in modern translation, treat other people the way you would like to be treated.<br /><br />This verse got me out of so much trouble and the little trouble I did cause was stopped because I recalled this in my head before I went further. I think this concept would transform the world if we instilled it in all children and reinforced it in our schools and communities. It's just basic human decency, and we would take the focus off ourselves if we would only imagine how we would feel if someone treated us the way we either treated someone else or were thinking about treating another. <br /><br />I'm grateful to my mom for teaching me this. It works.<br /><br />Brooke<br />
Staff
2016-11-04T17:59:00Z
The Hardest Boss I Would Ever Have
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Hardest-Boss-I-Would-Ever-Have/53785221630218848.html
2016-11-03T17:59:00Z
2016-11-03T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />For a couple of summers in high school, I worked at the asphalt plant where my dad had worked for most of his blue-collar life. By the time I started working there, he was "Plant Superintendent."<br /><br />Before I even started, he sat me down and told me he would be the hardest boss I would ever have. He was right! Among the things he instilled in me (and stayed on me until I got them right) were: <br />
<ul>
<li>The importance of having a good work ethic.</li>
<br />
<li>How to relate to everyone at any job level, and how to respect their individual contributions.</li>
<br />
<li>That no matter how good I was, I could always be replaced.</li>
<br />
<li>And that no job was too menial to learn and to do (such as cleaning the toilets!) if that's what it took to help in the workplace.</li>
</ul>
<br />He was tough, but I'm so grateful for the time I spent working with him, as everything I learned has served me well as an adult in the working world. Unlike many young people my age, I have NO sense of entitlement!<br /><br />Maura <br />
Staff
2016-11-03T17:59:00Z
Now I Know What True Wealth Is
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Now-I-Know-What-True-Wealth-Is/267371591096100013.html
2016-11-02T17:59:00Z
2016-11-02T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm 28, married, starting a family and until recently, I was completely lost. Adopting my new identity as a mom, I thought I was losing everything else I worked so hard for. Before marriage, I was inspired to pursue a career in teaching. After staying home with our newborn baby boy for three months, I had a "now what" feeling. Everything we ever hoped for was coming to fruition, but I still had a sense of longing to return to the work I had hardly had a chance to start. Feelings of resentment toward the new and miraculous, yet demanding, phase in my life left me second-guessing all my choices.<br /><br />Then I heard you mention your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Praise-Stay-At-Home-Moms/dp/0061690295" target="_blank">In Praise of Stay at Home Moms</a></em>" on the air. I bought it, and it turned my world around. One of the lines that really spoke to me was: "<em>In life, everything - everything - has good and bad elements</em>." I'm still learning the lesson that the "bad" should never be the end of the story, nor what guides your decisions, especially not where there also exists the "good" and the "unforgettable." I decided right then and there that I want my "good and bad" elements to be with my son, not away from him, and that I wasn't going to let my "bad" experience of leaving my teaching dreams behind be a perceived end of my life, nor would I let it tarnish the good.<br /><br />Now instead of feeling sorry for myself, I'm energized and excited for every future moment. Thank you for showing me the TRUE wealth that exists when a woman commits herself to the loving work of a career as a stay-at-home mom. If there are other "on the fence" women out there, please read this book! I'm also back to being my husband's girlfriend again, and our marriage is just great.<br /><br />Allie<br />
Staff
2016-11-02T17:59:00Z
I Could Have Chosen A Different Path
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Could-Have-Chosen-A-Different-Path/-28929135961883477.html
2016-11-01T17:59:00Z
2016-11-01T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Ten years ago, I met a guy who introduced me to your show. I've listened ever since. Wisely, I chose him to be my husband and father to our child, and we've been married now for seven years. <br /><br />As a husband, he is kind, gentle, loving and sensitive. He never ceases to make it known to me that all he wants for himself is my happiness first and foremost. I've gotten used to a kiss goodbye, a kiss hello and statements of "I love you." I can count on him every step of the way, whether emotionally or financially, to support his family.<br /><br />He also lights up when our son runs to him when he comes home in the evening. He ends his day playing, going through our son's bathtime ritual and tucking him in at night with a bedtime story. In exchange he gets a "Goodnight. I wuv you Daddy!" <br /><br />I could have chosen a different path, but listening to you and taking your advice to heart, I could not imagine my life in any other way now. For every ounce of joy, contentment, and continued success of our marriage we are grateful for your words of wisdom.<br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura.<br /><br />Irene<br />
Staff
2016-11-01T17:59:00Z
Couldn't Have Done It Without You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Couldnt-Have-Done-It-Without-You/-694258884913505526.html
2016-10-31T17:59:00Z
2016-10-31T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />A co-worker who had recently volunteered at an event with my kids asked "how did you end up with not one, but two great kids?" Well, my husband and I set clear expectations and held them accountable for their actions. We rewarded them for good behavior with praise. We instilled in them the concept of being good citizens by volunteering their time to the community (and we participated as a family too). We made sure they saw Mom and Dad as a team and that our marriage was a priority. We actively participated in our church, and we had open conversations with them about sex, alcohol and drugs.<br /><br />But you, Dr. Laura, were the icing on the cake, as you helped us pull this off. We routinely had your show on when driving with the kids, which afforded us opportunities to discuss your callers' situations and your responses. We talked about their friends who were NOT making good decisions, and often our kids would say "Dr. Laura would have said...." <br /><br />My kids are good young adults with bright futures, and they are independent, responsible, caring people. Thank you, Dr. Laura - my husband and I couldn't have raised them well without you!<br /><br />Margaret <br />
Staff
2016-10-31T17:59:00Z
God Spent Time On That
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/God-Spent-Time-On-That/-21453453228577002.html
2016-10-28T17:59:00Z
2016-10-28T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I was listening to your program recently, when you told a woman that you told your son at the age of five what abortion was. Never having had this discussion with my three kids (ages 10, 8 and 4), my 10-year-old son asked me what it was (he had heard the presidential candidates discussing it at one of the debates).<br /><br />I told him "It's when a woman gets pregnant and decides to get rid of the baby." My 8 year old daughter then said "God spent time making that baby - don't just throw it away!" She followed that comment with "If I got pregnant and didn't want it, I wouldn't do that." I could not have been more proud at that moment and (at the risk of speaking "psycho-babble") <em>validated</em>.<br /><br />All the days when I've wondered what the hell I'm doing as a mom, and praying that I'm not screwing up my kids vanished when she said that. I'm happy to know that I'm raising human beings who value life as much as my husband and I do. This was too good not to share with you and your listeners. Thank you!<br /><br />Hayley<br />
Staff
2016-10-28T17:59:00Z
I'm Sorry I Chose Him To Be Your Father
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Sorry-I-Chose-Him-To-Be-Your-Father/708497364984459626.html
2016-10-27T17:59:00Z
2016-10-27T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I was young and thought I was indestructible when I got pregnant at the age of 21 by an on-and-off again 23 year old boyfriend. The boyfriend and I broke up, but I had the baby. As my son got older, I apologized to him for choosing that guy to be his father, as his father has never developed a real relationship with him.<br /><br />I went to nursing school to be able to get a good job to support us. One of my nursing instructors recommended listening to you! So I did, and you made so much sense. I quickly dumped a boyfriend and vowed never to date again until my son was grown.<br /><br />I'm very proud of my now 23 year old son. We both listened to your show while he was growing up, and you not only guided me, but him as well. When someone he knows isn't doing the right thing, he says "they need Dr. Laura!" People always tell me what a great young man he is, and often want to know how he got to be that way. I proudly tell them that I gave him my time and devotion (and, of course, that we got a lot of wisdom from you). He thanks me to this day for never putting anyone before him, and while it wasn't always easy, I know in my heart it was definitely worth it.<br /><br />Sally <br />
Staff
2016-10-27T17:59:00Z
I Was Going To Be Different
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Was-Going-To-Be-Different/-68357022000410055.html
2016-10-26T17:59:00Z
2016-10-26T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I started listening to you back when I was a smart-ass teenager who knew everything!<br /><br />My mom was a stay-at-home mom, but I was going to be different - I went to college, then business school, and then I started to claw my way up the corporate ladder. I was doing very well professionally, and then I met a man, we fell in love, and married.<br /><br />I was in my early 30's when we decided to start a family, and it was difficult for me to get pregnant. When I finally did, I worked in my high pressure, stressful job through the birth of our daughter. I asked for, and got, an extended 6 month maternity leave.<br /><br />The second our daughter was born, however, work just "<em>fell away</em>," and everything outside our family unit didn't stand a chance of being on our radar. I can't believe I did this, but after my six months was up, I went back to work. I returned to the long days, high pressure, and 24/7 availability by email. It lasted an entire week, but it was the longest, saddest, worst week of my life. At the end of the week, I turned in my resignation, and thought "<em>Dr. Laura was right!</em>"<br /><br />Six years later, when I drive to pick up my daughter from kindergarten, I catch your show. I think back on that week when many colleagues, fellow moms, and other executives were absolutely shocked I decided to resign. "<em>But you worked your whole life for this</em>," they had said. I responded: "<em>No, SHE is what I worked for my whole life</em>." Taking care of her and my family is the best job I could ever have. And stay-at-home moms have the most powerful jobs in the universe.<br /><br />Karen <br />
Staff
2016-10-26T17:59:00Z
It's Not The Same Without You Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Not-The-Same-Without-You-Kids/211206262727330717.html
2016-10-25T17:59:00Z
2016-10-25T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I was thinking about family traditions after hearing your comments at the beginning of your program recently. <br /><br />I grew up in a family with a lot of aunts, uncles and cousins, and they all looked out for each other. My Dad took his widowed mother to church with us on Sundays, and Grandma always stayed for dinner. My mother's widowed father would stay with us in a spare bedroom several months of the year (he stayed with his other children the rest of the year). Every Friday night, we would play card games with an aunt and uncle. We always had a good time with all these family members, and as an adult, I realized they enjoyed their time with us as well.<br /><br />In our own family, we watched TV together on Saturday night, which were sources of lively conversation (and good popcorn!). And most of the time, if my parents were invited to receptions or parties where children were not welcome, they just wouldn't go. Instead, we'd all go out to a movie and stop for root beer floats afterward. My siblings and I finally asked them why they didn't go places whenever we weren't invited, and I'll always remember my mother's answer: "<em>Because we just can't enjoy those events without you kids along!</em>"<br /><br />Needless to say, we always felt loved and cared for in our family.<br /><br />Carla<br />
Staff
2016-10-25T17:59:00Z
My Wife's Boyfriend AND My Kid's Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Wifes-Boyfriend-AND-My-Kids-Dad/601919845334547206.html
2016-10-24T17:59:00Z
2016-10-24T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />It was because of you that 20 years ago, my wife quite her job to be a stay-at-home mom. My wife made more money at her job than I did, and prior to quitting, our son was in daycare for two years, because everyone in our circle was doing it! When we had our daughter, she wanted to quit, but I fought against it....until I came across your radio show. After two weeks of listening to you, I knew my wife was right.<br /><br />She eventually home schooled the three kids we had together, and I got to be the principal of the homeschool. Our decision actually cost us some relationships with family members who thought the public schools could educate our kids better than we could. Well, our oldest son graduated this year with a degree in Industrial Engineering, and our other two are in college. Our kids are wonderful, although not perfect, and understand the value of moms staying at home with the kids.<br /><br />We had our ups and downs financially, but eventually I got a job that allowed me to work from home several days a week. I may have to work until I'm 120 in order to retire, but our decisions have been worth it. We're heading to our 30th anniversary, and starting to look forward to the next chapter of our lives, with an empty nest, my honey by my side and grandkids (all born AFTER our kids marry, of course!). Thank you for reminding me to continue to be my wife's boyfriend and my kid's dad!<br /><br />John <br />
Staff
2016-10-24T17:59:00Z
Validating Others
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Validating-Others/209133407815495744.html
2016-10-21T17:59:00Z
2016-10-21T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've been a hospice nurse for over 12 years. I'll never forget a certain interaction with a patient's irate visitor, which happened almost 10 years ago. I have dealt with many families over the years, but this particular person stands out in my mind.<br /><br />The staff had warned me about this individual and how hard he was to deal with. Keep in mind that this wasn't even the patient - it was one of his visitors! He indeed lashed out and was angry with everybody and everything. <br /><br />However, when I was given the task of dealing with him, I was able to change his whole demeanor within an hour. He just wanted to be listened to and validated in his concerns. Once he knew he was being heard and understood, and that I appreciated his presence and efforts on behalf of the patient, he relaxed and said that he felt free to go out to get something to eat. He wasn't a problem for us after that, and I learned a valuable lesson as well. <br /><br />Laurie <br />
Staff
2016-10-21T17:59:00Z
Hangin Out With Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hangin-Out-With-Dr.-Laura/864682281522441133.html
2016-10-20T17:59:00Z
2016-10-20T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've been listening to you since I was 11 years old. At that time, I referred to you as "the tough but always right" lady! I'm now 27 and married. My husband and I dated for two years before we got married. Our childhoods were completely different. I had loving and nurturing parents. He was raised by his grandparents and never knew his biological father. His mother married again when he was 4 years old and ended up having five kids with the new husband. My husband was pushed aside and watched his mother give her undivided attention to her new husband and each new kid. But somehow he still became the loving man that he is and that I married.<br /><br />Every night when he comes home from work, I share some things I learned from your show. We're expecting our first child, and we've agreed that I will leave my full time job and raise our daughter. I was relieved that he was so on board with this idea. And he smiled when he told me that I will be able to stay home and hang out with YOU, Dr. Laura! <br /><br />He even asked me if you had a book for Dads so they could be good at raising daughters! I was speechless. That's when I realized that what you do for my family is beyond what I can ever thank you for. I think you're also secretly my husband's best friend, as I'm always his girlfriend. Thanks, Dr. Laura for making your way into my life and finding a way to stay. I wouldn't have it any other way.<br /><br />Sara <br />
Staff
2016-10-20T17:59:00Z
UNtraditional Family Traditions
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/UNtraditional-Family-Traditions/-108116817064663279.html
2016-10-19T17:59:00Z
2016-10-19T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I love the idea of establishing unique family traditions. In OUR family, we're big on celebrating "<em>half-birthdays</em>."<br /><br />We don't give gifts for a half birthday, but the special person gets to pick what the family eats for dinner, we create a celebratory dessert, and he or she chooses a family activity for us to do together. In the past, my daughter has loved to have us all light sparklers that we've saved from Independence Day celebrations. We've also taken a night drive with the top down (singing at the top of our lungs), and we've put a Lego set together (the choice of our son). <br /><br />We love our UNtraditional family traditions!<br /><br />Jackie<br />
Staff
2016-10-19T17:59:00Z
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Wouldnt-Have-It-Any-Other-Way/-752930708657938522.html
2016-10-18T17:59:00Z
2016-10-18T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am part of the "<em>Fabulous Five</em>" club - meaning my husband and I have five children! In this club, parents have a very detailed, planned-out schedule with little "wiggle room." Those of us who have this many kids know that one slight change (which unfortunately, is a daily given) can trigger a domino effect and alter the events of the entire day. Our wallets are almost always empty, gray hairs are shining through from our scalps, and when you call for one of your kids, you often go through the entire list by name before you get to the right one.<br /><br />The washing machine is always going, and my house always needs some attention, BUT....<br /><br />we are never lonely, our hearts are always full (most of the time with joy), we laugh often, and my husband and I have been assured by our kids that we will never be left in a nursing home.<br /><br />We wouldn't have it any other way!<br /><br />Ramona<br />
Staff
2016-10-18T17:59:00Z
Giving Hope
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Giving-Hope/486043103873455163.html
2016-10-17T17:59:00Z
2016-10-17T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When I was 12 years old, I wrote you a very intense, long letter, explaining my deplorable situation at home, and I asked you for a game plan on how to raise my kid brother. Yes, you read that correctly. My grandma found the letter before I was able to mail it, and she was devastated to read how we were unattended at home.<br /><br />She took me and my brother into her home and at 55 years old, working 12 hours a day, seven days a week, she gave us not only a home, but she gave us hope. She insisted we maintain our grades, and made us do chores. Unfortunately, I made a poor choice, and at 16, I became a mother. I was still in high school.<br /><br />But your phrase about being "my kid's mom" stayed in my head, and I thought right then that I wasn't going to be a stereotypical teen mom. I graduated as valedictorian of my class (with a ten month old son). I've worked and supported him and have never been on public assistance. I paid my way through college (no loans) and still drive the same car I had in high school I attended college around my son's schedule, so he was never with a sitter overnight and was never left alone. <br /><br />My son is now 14, and I'm the CEO of my own company. He's doing well in school, and is kind, respectful, courteous, and an absolute blessing. So thank you for silently encouraging me to be my kid's mom, and for being the voice in my head that didn't let me give up over the last 15 years. <br /><br />Wanda <br />
Staff
2016-10-17T17:59:00Z
My Son's Words
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Sons-Words/-748996848144298597.html
2016-10-14T17:59:00Z
2016-10-14T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've been married for 25 years and am a stay-at-home mom to two sons, ages 17 and 22. Our 22 year old recently graduated from college, and our 17 year old is a senior in high school.<br /><br />The 17 year old had to give a speech a few weeks ago in front of the entire student body - this is a graduation requirement for his school. Typically, the seniors share experiences that have impacted their lives. Our son said some wonderful things about our family, but then said "<em>my mom, who is by far the smartest person I know, could have been anything she wanted to be, but she chose to be my mom, and for that, I will be forever grateful</em>."<br /><br />Wow. In that moment, everything I have done as a mother all came together for me. Our boys have always shown respect, gratitude and love, but there was something about hearing those words said aloud that really stuck with me. <br /> <br />Thank you for having been such a guiding force for me.<br /><br />Susan <br />
Staff
2016-10-14T17:59:00Z
I'm Spoiled
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Spoiled/-458876498326327642.html
2016-10-13T17:59:00Z
2016-10-13T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My wife and I are close to being married for 53 years. At the 26 year mark, I was depressed at being diagnosed with diabetes, and my wife was aware of my feelings. I came home from work shortly after the diagnosis, and she was in our bedroom wearing a skimpy negligee. She was trying to cheer me up, and it worked! Throughout our marriage, she not only gave me back rubs, but foot massages too. She would peel my shrimp, and our kids would complain because she didn't peel theirs! She also prepared meals she knew I liked, in addition to being a stay at home mom to our kids. She spoiled me, and I did the same for her.<br /><br />So when I had to work 100 miles away from home for about a year (at the time, we only had one kid at home), I arranged for midweek dinner dates, and we'd meet halfway. I returned home on Friday evenings and spent the weekend before heading out again the next week. <br /><br />We're retired now, and as our 53rd wedding anniversary approaches, she's now in the stages of dementia. Life is almost like it was when we were first married - we go shopping together, since she can't drive. I make sure she gets out of the house during the week, and we have her friends visit her here. We are adjusting to more interdependence than independence. I'm also adjusting to her memory loss and am learning patience. My life with her has been a blessing.<br /><br />Stan <br />
Staff
2016-10-13T17:59:00Z
I Never Knew How Much My Parents Loved Me, Until Now
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Never-Knew-How-Much-My-Parents-Loved-Me,-Until-Now/572557242612307822.html
2016-10-12T17:59:00Z
2016-10-12T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />On my way home last week, I passed a daycare center, and noticed a little blonde-haired girl, around 5 or 6 years old in the fenced-in yard of the center. Her little fingers were on the fence and she was waving to me with the other hand. It was a slow wave, and she looked very sad. I waved back, wanting to stop the car and give her a big hug.<br /><br />My job sometimes takes me into daycare centers, and I hate it. Recently I was in one at lunch time with about 16 little kids gathered around a big table eating lunch. As I walked through the place, there was an infant sleeping in an automatic swing with no one watching. These kinds of things break my heart.<br /><br />I don't have kids of my own, but my five siblings and I were lucky to be brought up by a stay-at-home mom. As I got older, I asked her "how did you do it?" She told me she always knew she was going to stay home when she had kids. And she said she LOVED staying home. She and my father went without a lot, but the six of us never knew what we didn't have, because we had so much love in our home.<br /><br />Molly<br />
Staff
2016-10-12T17:59:00Z
The Next Chapter
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Next-Chapter/95292986671921281.html
2016-10-11T17:59:00Z
2016-10-11T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I recently had a major challenge as a parent. Last month, I dropped off my son for college out of state. He received a basketball scholarship, which is why he went to school far away from where we live.<br /><br />It turned out to be one of the hardest moments of my life! I had him when I was a teenager, and much of my identity has been wrapped up in him. We had never spent more than three days apart our entire lives.<br /><br />But instead of being sad and depressed, I focused on what a wonderful opportunity he had been given, and how happy he had made me. It's been a huge adjustment for me, but I know he's exactly where he needs to be, doing what he loves, and it's time for me to let him out of the nest to fly, while I get to focus on the next chapter of MY life.<br /><br />Viola <br />
Staff
2016-10-11T17:59:00Z
Teaching My Boy The Red Flags
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teaching-My-Boy-The-Red-Flags/-869317076177781992.html
2016-10-07T17:59:00Z
2016-10-07T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My son is very young, but has already asked questions about what his wife would look like and be like! I took his questions seriously, and shared all the positive qualities, morals and values that he may want to look for when he is ready to start dating. My goal is for him to take his time to really get to know someone and see over time if they are committed to a lifetime together.<br /><br />I'm horrified at how I have seen some wives treat their husbands. I'm sickened by how some women use their children as manipulative tools. I don't ever want to see that happen to my son, so I'm teaching him as he asks how to identify that kind of behavior so he can run in the other direction before it's too late!<br /><br />Coralee <br />
Staff
2016-10-07T17:59:00Z
MY Kind of Gentleman
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/MY-Kind-of-Gentleman/-144380441153529061.html
2016-10-06T17:59:00Z
2016-10-06T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband will not always open the door for me. He does not pull out my chair, nor does he always carry things for me. I do consider him to be a gentleman, however.<br /><br />I have an illness that is, at times, debilitating. When I have a flare, he cooks and cleans. He gets me in the shower and sometimes has to help me zip my pants and button my blouse. He gives me injections when necessary, and makes me laugh before he does it, because they can hurt. He has taken me to the doctor and sat and sat until we were seen. <br /><br />Yet, after all of this, he tells everyone I'm the best thing that ever happened to him. I wouldn't trade him for a man who always opened doors, pulled out my chair, or carried things for me. When I need him the most, I don't have to say a word - he is always right there. I feel valued, respected, and treasured. He tells me he loves me many times a day. I can't do much for him, but I do what I can, and luckily, he's rarely sick. He always says his goal in life is to make me happy, and I love him more each day I'm married to him.<br /><br />Deborah <br />
Staff
2016-10-06T17:59:00Z
How Did You Get So Lucky?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Did-You-Get-So-Lucky/-211725299259709671.html
2016-10-05T17:59:00Z
2016-10-05T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am 7 months pregnant, and recently submitted my letter of resignation so I can stay at home and be my child's mother. As hard as it is for me to leave my job, I remind myself that I am putting my marriage and family first, and that being at home will allow me to be the best wife and mother I can be.<br /><br />Earlier today, my husband was talking with a good friend of his, who is married with three kids. Both the friend and the friend's wife have full-time jobs and the kids are in daycare. My husband told his friend that I would be staying at home with our baby, and his friend replied "How did you get so lucky to marry a woman who will stay at home?"<br /><br />We're not wealthy people, and we're living on a tight budget to make it possible for me to stay at home. While budgeting can be a challenge, I'm proud of myself for putting my marriage and family first, and it's a good feeling knowing that my husband sees himself as a lucky man to have married a woman who will put our marriage ahead of money.<br /><br />Callie <br />
Staff
2016-10-05T17:59:00Z
Suck It Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Suck-It-Up/-484282959441059924.html
2016-10-04T18:59:00Z
2016-10-04T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />As a school administrator, I see parents rob their kids of the feeling of having earned something for themselves far too often. I especially have seen this with divorced parents. When their child gets in trouble at school, they come with their kid and proceed to tell me how unfair it is that he or she was punished with detention - and they do it right in front of their child. <br /><br />From that point on, the kid is a royal pain. The parent leaves thinking "<em>I just defended my child, so he must think I'm really great.</em>" However the kid is left thinking "<em>hey, I can do what I want, because my mom or dad will always come to rescue me.</em>" I find myself counting the minutes before the next time this child is in my office for a new offense.<br /><br />When I was a boy and got a detention in school and I told my dad it "<em>wasn't fair,</em>" his response was to "<em>suck it up</em>." I learned my lesson then and there. If only parents realized they are doing their sons and daughters a major disservice by always bailing them out.<br /><br />Elliott <br />
Staff
2016-10-04T18:59:00Z
Being My Own Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-My-Own-Man/-290881465129016075.html
2016-10-03T17:59:00Z
2016-10-03T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am the husband of one lovely, adorable, caring devoted wife, mother of our two children, and married to me for 44 years.<br /><br />I grew up watching my dad berate, beat and abuse my wonderful mom. I never wanted to be like him, so I swore off anything that defined him. I'm not perfect, but I love opening doors for my wife, and will do so as a gentlemanly thing for other women too.I'll cook (although my wife is the better cook of the two of us), wash the dishes, and buy her flowers on a whim because she loves them. My wife suffers from chronic fatigue syndrome fibromyalgia, so I can't give her body massages, but she loves - and GETS - foot massages.<br /><br />The way I see things is that every man has a mother who he hopefully loves and about whom he cares how she's treated. How I treat my wife is my example to my sons as to how they should treat their spouses with love and respect.<br /><br />Dr. Laura, my wife and I are long-time listeners to your show, and I am very happy to pay for my SiriusXM subscription in order to hear you!<br /><br />John<br />
Staff
2016-10-03T17:59:00Z
Infatuation Won't Equal Happily Ever After
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Infatuation-Wont-Equal-Happily-Ever-After/59889195125390659.html
2016-09-30T17:59:00Z
2016-09-30T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When you are young and "<em>dumb</em>," it is easy to confuse infatuation with love. When you are older and more mature, or when you've gained some life experience, you discover that love is much more than just "<em>chemistry</em>."<br /><br />Having been married, divorced, and now happily remarried, I know the difference between the kind of love that sustains a marriage, and the kind of love you feel for "<em>Mr. Right Now</em>." The "<em>marriage-sustaining</em>" love is deep, abiding, and rooted in faith. In sickness and in health is one of the many tests which either draw you closer or further apart. <br /><br />I could check off all the reasons why my first marriage didn't work - but mostly it was because I thought infatuation (which I mistook for love) would carry the day and we would live happily ever after. The second time around, we both committed to building a strong foundation to our union. It took work, but it was eminently worth it. I hope that the young people who listen to your show take your advice to heart (as I did in my second marriage). It works!<br /><br />Ilona <br />
Staff
2016-09-30T17:59:00Z
Learning To Fly
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-To-Fly/-553134719567735388.html
2016-09-29T17:59:00Z
2016-09-29T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've often heard you talk about how kids need to EARN things for themselves, and not just be handed them on a silver platter. <br /><br />Today, my son, 19, was in a friend's car with two other friends. They got a flat tire. He called me for help, but instead of driving there and making it all better for them, I thought he should try to figure it out himself. I gave him some guidance, but I didn't pay for it OR fix it for him. <br /><br />So, it wasn't a situation where he needed to fix his own mistake, but it was a chance to him to learn how to fly on his own when something unexpected happened. And guess what? Although it was really hard for me not to just swoop in and take care of everything, I'm glad I didn't - because he figured it out himself. He was proud of his accomplishment....and so was I.<br /><br />Ariane <br />
Staff
2016-09-29T17:59:00Z
The Perfect Symbol
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Perfect-Symbol/607180753507984.html
2016-09-28T17:59:00Z
2016-09-28T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I believe that wedding rings are an important symbol, and I feel naked without mine on. My wife and I were both widowed, having lost very significant people in our lives. After a year and a half of dating and meeting each other's families, grown kids and grandkids, we decided to get married. <br /><br />This was an important step for me, as I had been with my first wife for 40 years, so I worked with a machinist (not a jeweler) to make my ring a perfect symbol. We took three precious metal wires to symbolize her family, my family, and us as a couple. We forged them into a single beautiful metal, but with each of the colors still distinct and intact. I then had this precious piece embedded into a ring of impervious titanium to symbolize my new role - to protect all of these precious entities from harm.<br /><br />Four years in, our families are totally intertwined; you would not know they had not been family for all of our lives. I am, indeed, a lucky man.<br /><br />Peter <br />
Staff
2016-09-28T17:59:00Z
The Kick In The Butt I Needed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Kick-In-The-Butt-I-Needed/-638651690445760189.html
2016-09-27T17:59:00Z
2016-09-27T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Eight years ago, I was home on a college break listening to you in the car with my mother. You had one of those typical "<em>unhappy wife</em>" calls, where the husband had some negative trait, and you asked if she had seen signs of it when they were dating. Of course she had. That's when it dawned on me, that although my boyfriend had some "<em>amazing</em>" qualities, he also had some "<em>not-so-amazing</em>" qualities, and if I didn't come to grips with then, then I would be the "<em>unhappy wife</em>" on the phone with you in 5 or 10 years.<br /><br />It was the kick in the butt I needed. Once I realized he was a nice guy but not husband material, I broke it off. A few years later, I met a man who was far more a husband-material guy, and we've been happily married for three years. <br /><br />In addition to all of the incredible stories of people's lives you've turned around in huge ways, you've also contributed to thousands and thousands of stories like mine. I probably would have turned out okay and been smart enough to break it off with my college boyfriend, but I wasted much less time and had a stronger conviction about my decision because I had listened to you. And it made a big difference in my life.<br /><br />With many thanks.<br /><br />Lynn <br />
Staff
2016-09-27T17:59:00Z
Back In The Day
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Back-In-The-Day/-805571047642973747.html
2016-09-26T17:59:00Z
2016-09-26T17:59:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />You often refer to a time when this country had much better values. When you say "<em>back in the day,</em>" I identify with it and understand it very well. <br /><br />My parents were born near the end of the 19th century. Neither of them graduated from high school. To me, they were model parents. We had two families living in our five bedroom three story house - my grandmother, my cousin who she was raising because his mother died in childbirth, my seven brothers and sisters, me, and our parents. My mom was a stay-at-home mom with all those kids. My father was both a laborer and a musician, so he had two ways to earn money to support us. <br /><br />They were both involved in community activities, and we were a family of faith. We had a close-knit happy family who got along very well together. I read an article that said there are four institutions through which we receive happiness or deep satisfaction: family, community, vocation or avocation, and faith. These were all a part of our lives. We were far from prosperous, so we had to work for what we wanted or needed. We even paid for our own college educations, but we got the satisfaction of having accomplished things on our own. That's why I made my three children contribute toward their college educations. Each of them has a sense of achievement they wouldn't have had otherwise. <br />It would be nice if some of those values from "<em>back in the day</em>" were at the forefront today. They made a real contribution to my happiness as a child and the happiness of my now-adult children.<br />Stan <br />
Staff
2016-09-26T17:59:00Z
Enough!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Enough!/-904350387303093589.html
2016-09-23T17:59:00Z
2016-09-23T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />You recently asked on Facebook if we had ever been glad we gave up on something. For me, that's a definite yes! I decided that I had had enough at my job. I was in a well-paid management position, but I was sick of the bureaucracy, the squelching of creativity, and the lousy attitudes and treatment by management toward the employees.<br /><br />I made up my mind that this was not the hill I wanted to die on. So last year, I left for Christmas vacation and never went back. I faxed them my resignation. That night, I slept better than I had in about a year. <br /><br />I have never looked back, and unfortunately, some of the people I worked with are still where they were, wishing and wanting to do what I did. I only hope they have the courage to give up on that environment and pursue a job path that will contribute to them having happier and healthier lives. <br /><br />Emily <br />
Staff
2016-09-23T17:59:00Z
Words DO Hurt
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Words-DO-Hurt/-87021017171722486.html
2016-09-22T17:59:00Z
2016-09-22T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I think the most damaging things parents say to their kids are things said in criticism, making them feel like they can't do anything right. If they aren't doing something right, it's a teaching moment, not a chance to call your child "<em>stupid</em>" or tell them that they will never amount to anything. <br /><br />I remind my kids to do their best every day, and to be kind and courteous. Everything else will fall into place. I don't want them to break down if they fail a test, because we'll figure out how to fix it and do better next time. <br /><br />We have to be careful how we talk to our kids, because words can hit as hard as a fist.<br /><br />Marilu <br />
Staff
2016-09-22T17:59:00Z
Changing The Course of My Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-The-Course-of-My-Life/-40569889534108159.html
2016-09-21T17:59:00Z
2016-09-21T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />You kept me focused years ago, while I drove an hour every night for three months to see my critically ill mother in the hospital. In addition to that stress, I was also going through infertility treatments. I replayed a thousand times in my mind what I heard you say on the radio: "<em>Why have babies and turn them over for someone else to raise them?</em>" Guiding and nurturing should solely be the parents' responsibility, especially in the early years.<br /><br />I took that to heart when I finally got pregnant. Up to that point, I worked a full time job, plus another 20 hours at a part-time job that included weekends. At the end of the pregnancy, I considered keeping one or even both jobs, but remembered your teaching that there is no greater responsibility than raising your own children, so I made the right decision, thanks to you.<br /><br />I quote you time and again to new parents. Thank you for really changing the course of my life.<br /><br />Tammy <br />
Staff
2016-09-21T17:59:00Z
Thank You For Staying Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You-For-Staying-Home/-35422250133518601.html
2016-09-20T17:59:00Z
2016-09-20T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My little boys and I were at a park that is situated across from a daycare center. One of my sons wanted to go over and play at the daycare center, because the equipment looked like fun! When I told him he really didn't want to do that, he asked "<em>why not?</em>" I replied that daycares are places people put their children when they don't want to take care of them themselves. "<em>Oh,</em>" he said, and carried on playing with his brother.<br /><br />Some time later, we were at home, and he looked at me and said "<em>Mom, thank you for staying home with me,</em>" and gave me a big, squishy hug. At four years of age, he'll never know the profundity of what he said, but I certainly did! While staying home with our children can be exhausting and overwhelming, it's the only right choice. <br /><br />In an age where presents (as in gifts) have replaced presence, I get to feel good that I'm giving my kids what they actually need. Thank you for your wisdom.<br /><br /><br />Love, <br /><br />A Recovered Feminist<br />
Staff
2016-09-20T17:59:00Z
The Best Gift I Could Ever Recieve
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Best-Gift-I-Could-Ever-Recieve/230587641556032562.html
2016-09-19T17:59:00Z
2016-09-19T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My 21 year old son and I were having a conversation with a married couple in their 30's. The couple was discussing the challenges of finding a new day care for their 2-year-old child. My son spoke up and said "<em>I will never put my future children in day care, because I don't want strangers taking care of my kids. I want my future wife to stay at home with our children, just as my mom did with me.</em>" <br /><br />The couple tried to explain to him why they both needed to work. My son listened, and then simply said "<em>Your child will never experience what it's like to always know your mom is there.</em>" He told them that although he doesn't remember too many specifics from his childhood years, he could not recall a time when I made him feel something or someone else was more important than spending time with him and his brother.<br /><br />I had unexpected tears in my eyes as I absorbed the impact of this statement. That alone made the years of "<em>always being there for him</em>" the best decision I ever made. So for all the parents who wonder if "<em>being there</em>" for your children is important, it's the best gift you can give them. And in return, the love and appreciation from my son 21 years later is the best gift I have ever received!<br /><br />Laverne<br />
Staff
2016-09-19T17:59:00Z
We Never Did That Again
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Never-Did-That-Again/142771087186389055.html
2016-09-15T17:59:00Z
2016-09-15T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When I was a kid, my brother and I knew a "<em>mean</em>" lady, because she never liked us playing football on the grass across the street from her home, and she complained to our parents about it. So we threw an egg at her house.<br /><br />My dad was not pleased with our behavior. Even though it's now FORTY years later, I'll never forget the lesson we learned, because he accompanied us as we went to the woman's house to apologize. He stood sternly behind us as we knocked on her door.<br /><br />Needless to say, we never did anything like that again, and as an adult, I realize what a great father we had, because he made us take responsibility for our actions.<br /><br />Giselle<br />
Staff
2016-09-15T17:59:00Z
I Thought I Was A Pro
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Thought-I-Was-A-Pro/-993976474791177242.html
2016-09-14T17:59:00Z
2016-09-14T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Your program saved the life of a little girl a few weeks ago. I'm still shaken up from my experience.<br /><br />I used to be a chronic texter when I drove, because I thought I was a "<em>pro</em>" at it by typing a word, looking up at the road and typing another word. I was listening to the opening of your show where you talked about "<em>distracted driving</em>," and sure enough, I had my phone in my hand, and I was texting away, thinking "<em>Oh, yeah, Dr. Laura - nag, nag, nag!</em>" But then you mentioned that the time you looked down at your phone was the length of a football field, and I thought "<em>no way!</em>" Then I noticed that I had looked down for almost the length of two telephone poles on the country road on which I was driving. That's when I put my phone down.<br /><br />Less than a minute after I put my phone down, a little girl riding her bike fell out into the street right in front of me. I slammed on my brakes and stopped just inches before hitting her. Her mother came running and picked her up and I carried her little Disney Princess bike back to their front yard. If I had been texting, I would have taken her life and destroyed a family. Because of your broadcast that day and the analogy of the length of the football field, you opened my eyes and more than likely helped save that little girl's life.<br /><br />Thomas <br />
Staff
2016-09-14T17:59:00Z
We're Teaching the Next Generation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Were-Teaching-the-Next-Generation/996941206548577775.html
2016-09-13T17:59:00Z
2016-09-13T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I started listening to you when I was 16 and living with two drug-addicted parents. I knew I could create a better life for myself, but didn't understand how to do that. <br />By listening to you, I learned how to choose a good man, how to be a good wife, and that being a present stay-at-home mom was the right thing to do. I now have an amazing family with two young boys. It's because of you that my family is loving and stable. Not only did you show me the way to having a loving family, but you've allowed me to teach my children (the next generation) how to live a loving and responsible life.<br /><br />So I want you to remember that you're not only helping the people you speak with on the air, but your advice will carry on for generations when the rest of us who just listen to you decide to do the right thing. Thank you!<br /><br />Talia <br />
Staff
2016-09-13T17:59:00Z
The Importance of Staying Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-of-Staying-Home/479029058488109109.html
2016-09-12T17:59:00Z
2016-09-12T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Fifteen years ago this month, I had an 18-month old little boy - my first and only child. I was working as a flight attendant, and I justified my decision to work by telling myself I would only be working three weekends out of the month, and my husband would be home with our son while I was gone.<br /><br />And then the horrific events of 9/11 happened. Two months after that terrible day, my company offered voluntary "<em>furloughs</em>" to flight attendants, because there had been a major slowdown in airline passenger travel. We could take anywhere from three months to three years off. Seeing this as a temporary opportunity to stay home with my son, I chose the three month furlough.<br /><br />Well, I extended the three months into six, nine, twelve, until I had stayed home for the full three years. After experiencing every aspect of his life with him, I could never have gone back to work, and decided to quit my job once and for all. To this day, I have never regretted staying home with this sweet child, who has turned into a wonderful young man.<br /><br />Looking back on the events of that terrible day on September 11 made me realize the importance of staying home and being there for my son where I should be - right by his side. <br /><br />Gloria <br />
Staff
2016-09-12T17:59:00Z
Just the Push I Needed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Just-the-Push-I-Needed/-220782674410018657.html
2016-09-09T17:59:00Z
2016-09-09T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I called you once, and you gave me a stern lecture about what a fool I was for putting up with the cruel way in which my college age daughter treated me. You suggested I speak to a therapist, and I followed your advice. <br /><br />After only 20 minutes, this therapist said he thought I should bring my daughter with me for one of our sessions, and much to my surprise, she agreed. After a few minutes of strained conversation, he asked to speak with me alone, and told me I was afraid of my daughter! I told him I was afraid to anger her, which might lead to not seeing her again. But when we got back to the house, I figured "<em>what the hell</em>" and started to gently have a discussion with her. She shared with me some problems she had with anger among other issues. It was the best conversation we ever had.<br /><br />Although she admitted that we might never have the close relationship that she thought I wanted, I accepted that and we had a nice weekend together. Thank you with all my heart for giving me the push I needed to get out into the open the problem that had been breaking my heart for years.<br /><br />Linda <br />
Staff
2016-09-09T17:59:00Z
No More Social Media Until I'm At Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-More-Social-Media-Until-Im-At-Home/-802873708668073853.html
2016-09-08T17:59:00Z
2016-09-08T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Not long ago, I heard you talking about the dangers of driving while distracted. I'm a mom of three kids (one of whom is already driving), and this really struck a chord with me.<br /><br />I'm usually very careful about putting my phone away when I'm driving, but sometimes I do want to pick it up when I hear that text tone, or if I've been sitting in traffic not moving. When you mentioned it on the air, that's when I decided that I'd no longer check my phone (or more specifically, check social media on my phone) when I was in the car. <br /><br />While drinking my coffee this morning, I clicked on Instagram on my phone to see who was up to what, and realized I had been logged out and needed my password to get in. I figured this was a "<em>sign</em>" and if I want to use social media apps, I can use them on my iPad at home AFTER all my chores are done and the kids are at school. Any use other than that really is unnecessary. <br /> <br />Thanks for the "<em>pep</em>" talk (even though you didn't know that's what you were doing at the time)!<br /><br />Darcy<br />
Staff
2016-09-08T17:59:00Z
My Eyes Were Opened
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Eyes-Were-Opened/530636449211461084.html
2016-09-07T17:59:00Z
2016-09-07T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br /><em>"<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a>"</em> opened my eyes to the way I treated my husband and brought us back to the days when we dated - all in less than a week!Your book described me perfectly - I had time for the kids, my parents, hobbies, sleep--everyone and everything but my husband. He was in the way of my selfish wants!<br /><br />As a result, he was frustrated and had become a grouchy curmudgeon. Our adult children noticed how irascible he had become. He slept a lot and ignored work around the house. Yet, even after all my neglect, he stayed by my side. When I heard you recommend your book to a caller, I immediately bought it myself and started implementing some of your suggestions. I cooked for him, was intimate with him, and showed interest in his opinions. The result has been transformational.<br /><br />We spent the weekend working on projects, going to a movie, fishing, and laughing together. Without saying a word, he cleaned up the yard, took out the garbage and completed several other chores. He's singing and whistling and can't keep his hands off me (in a good way!). Thank you for repeating yourself so that stubborn listeners like me can eventually make the connection and change.<br /><br />Terri <br />
Staff
2016-09-07T17:59:00Z
Honor Them By Being Happy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Honor-Them-By-Being-Happy/891399257727714728.html
2016-09-06T17:59:00Z
2016-09-06T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My beloved son and only child died 5 1/2 years ago of a drug overdose. I was beyond broken, wishing to die so I could be with him. I looked normal, I interacted, smiled and I worked, but inside I was really dead and just going through the motions. I thought my life now had no purpose. <br /><br />One year later, I was still a broken mess, but then I heard you on the air talk to a woman who had also lost a child and who was having trouble moving forward. You told her that she wasn't honoring her child by grieving her life away; rather, she was throwing away the beautiful gift of life that she did have. You told her "you honor him by doing for others in his name. You honor him by being happy." <br /><br />That night, I looked for volunteer opportunities, and found an advocacy group for preventing addiction and celebrating recovery from addiction. I became part of their team and met wonderful people. I was doing meaningful work, and within weeks, I felt like a new person. There is truly healing in helping others. My life is now full, happy and meaningful. I still miss my boy, but I focus on being grateful for the 22 wonderful years I got to spend with him. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, as you continue to be a beacon of hope for others. Sending much love your way,<br /><br />Patricia <br />
Staff
2016-09-06T17:59:00Z
The Innocence of Our Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Innocence-of-Our-Kids/584983593596331733.html
2016-09-02T17:59:00Z
2016-09-02T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My heart hurts for our kids today. I can't imagine my grandkids having what I had - we rode our bikes to school from 3 miles away. We played in the creeks down the road from our house. We camped in our backyards and talked about what we would do when we were in our 30's, 40's and 50's. Well, here we are, and what we do is look at how our generation has had a hand in screwing everything up!<br /><br />Last week, I put my 9 year old granddaughter on her bike to go visit our neighbors, just like I used to do at her age. But now, I thought, "she's going 75 yards down the street, and I can't take my eyes off her until she's safely in the house." That's when I realized she won't have the same opportunities with her childhood friends that I had. We've destroyed the innocence of our kids and are now required to talk to them about child abductions and what to do if they are "stolen." Dr. Laura, my generation had the best time growing up, and we would like nothing more than for our kids to have those same experiences. I only hope that with careful parenting and grandparenting, they can create different, but equally rewarding, memories to recall when they grow up.<br /><br />Amalia<br /><br />
Staff
2016-09-02T17:59:00Z
You CAN Do It!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-CAN-Do-It!/-973859861072913759.html
2016-09-01T17:59:00Z
2016-09-01T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband and I did several things to make sure we had the financial wherewithal for me to be a stay-at-home mom. First, we waited to have children until we were reasonably prepared - we both worked at full-time jobs and we made double payments on our mortgage while we saved regularly. Then we kept track of our finances, always with a mindset of stepping back to one income (which was hard to do, since I made more salary than my husband did). We also learned how to do many things for ourselves, rather than needing to hire outside people to do them. This included not only home repairs, but my learning to cut his hair!<br /><br />Finally, we lived within our means and did not take on debt beyond our mortgage (which, by the way, we paid off early). If you do the research, make a plan, and stick to it, you CAN afford to live (and thrive) on one income.<br /><br />Doris<br />A proud stay-at-home mom!<br />
Staff
2016-09-01T17:59:00Z
He Almost Got Away
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Almost-Got-Away/716896041599909045.html
2016-08-31T17:59:00Z
2016-08-31T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I sometimes think about what I wish I had known before I got married. I wished I had known how wonderful it was to be married! I almost let the man of my dreams get away. After several bad relationships, I was at the point in my life where I was content being single. But then I met HIM. We danced and sparks flew. We had picnics, we walked, and we talked about everything under the sun. But part of me did not trust my feelings. I finally made a list of everything I had been looking for in a man vs. what I saw in THIS man, and the traits were complete opposites! That's when I realized that what I had THOUGHT I wanted was leading me astray. What I was seeing in this man right in front of me were wonderful, deep qualities of character.<br /><br />We're celebrating our 33rd anniversary this month. Life could not be sweeter. I cannot imagine how impoverished my life would have been without this wonderful man. I'm so glad I now know how lovely it is to be married, to go through life with a helpmeet, and to share my life deeply with another person. It's been a blessing to have children AND grandchildren. And I've learned that the traditional values of family, marriage and motherhood are honorable and worthy goals, despite what the feminist movement preached when I was a young woman.<br /><br />Bettina<br />
Staff
2016-08-31T17:59:00Z
A Treasured Friendship
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Treasured-Friendship/-163890952886850685.html
2016-08-30T17:59:00Z
2016-08-30T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My best friend and I met when we were seated next to each other in ninth grade. I was new to the community, and she was very friendly to me. We helped each other with our classwork too. We also became friendly with two other girls who we met while learning dance routines for our school drill team. <br /><br />We stayed in touch through college, and once we all got married, we started to drift away. The summer after the four of us turned 40, we decided to have a weekend "friend reunion." It was magical, and it was the chance to reconnect with the one I first met so long ago and rekindle that childhood bond. Our friendship has deepened in the last 25 years. Her family has become mine and vice versa. I know she would drop everything and come running should I need her, and I would do the same for her.<br /><br />It's now FIFTY years since our first meeting, and I treasure that friendship more than she'll ever realize. And to think it all began because of an algebra teacher's random seating chart! <br /><br />Deanna<br />
Staff
2016-08-30T17:59:00Z
'How to Make Your Husband Happy'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-to-Make-Your-Husband-Happy/495295503255297693.html
2016-08-29T17:59:00Z
2016-08-29T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Your book, "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>" was spot on! It was just what I needed to read. It was a wonderful reminder to me in my 21-year marriage to continue to woo and show interest in my man. <br /><br />I believe the feminist movement has spoiled the way women treat their husbands. I stay home with my three children and I let my husband know what a hero he is to me and our children for taking care of us. I recently read an old article - it was from 1955! - from Good Housekeeping magazine, which was titled "<em><a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=1955+good+housekeeping+%E2%80%9CThe+Good+Wife%E2%80%99s+Guide,%E2%80%9D&espv=2&rlz=1C1CHMO_enUS551US551&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiXj4H1yefOAhVDKh4KHS5tA-UQ_AUICCgB&biw=1280&bih=733#imgrc=vxX0d_G9p38coM%3A" target="_blank">How To Make Your Husband Happy</a>.</em>" Some of the suggestions were a bit dated, but the basic stuff still held up, like showing love and greeting him with a kiss, wearing something pretty, and giving him back rubs.<br /><br />If women would forget their "<em>feminist</em>" roles and just do these things with love, many marriages would flourish and both parties would be happy. I am proof of that!<br /><br />Marian<br />
Staff
2016-08-29T17:59:00Z
You've Made Me Think
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Youve-Made-Me-Think/-30606816711242096.html
2016-08-26T17:59:00Z
2016-08-26T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I have been a listener for over 20 years. I found you when I was pregnant with my fourth child. I was already a stay-at-home mom, but having the daily support and guidance from you while I was doing the hardest and most important job of raising my children was invaluable. <br /><br />Your program has made me laugh, cry, shake my head in agreement, and sometimes shake in anger. But most importantly, what it has done for me is made me think and at times take a stand because it's the right thing to do. Thank you!<br /><br />Geraldine<br /><br />P.S. I heard you mention you would like to change your opening signature line "<em>I am my kid's mom</em>" because your "<em>kid</em>" is now 30 years old. My kids are now in their 20's, and I find myself saying "<em>I am my GROWN kids' mom.</em>" You're welcome to adopt that line if you want! <br />
Staff
2016-08-26T17:59:00Z
Your Perspective Makes Total Sense
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Your-Perspective-Makes-Total-Sense/87914463199659644.html
2016-08-25T17:59:00Z
2016-08-25T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I know you get a bunch of "<em>thank yous</em>" every day on your show, but this one is from my two boys. Though they are too young to realize it, the wisdom you've shared and I have listened to over the past 15 years has brought a great life for them. My wife is a stay-at-home mom, and the boys have never seen the inside of a pre-school. This was not without its challenges, as my wife was a pre-school teacher when we dated, and I ran two companies. I planned on having a full-time nanny when we had kids, because that's what everyone in our social circle did to sustain their lifestyle. <br /><br />It took me two years to realize your perspective made total sense. Everyone we knew thought we were crazy and thought pre-school was in the best interest of the kids and not going would damage them. They made us feel like unfit parents. But we stayed with our decision. Our boys have been loved so much by us and we spend a lot of time together making great memories, thanks to you sharing your wisdom on life and family. <br /><br />Thank you for helping me make my life and that of my family truly awesome.<br /><br />Love always,<br /><br />Tom<br />
Staff
2016-08-25T17:59:00Z
Encouraging Your Children's Friendships
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Encouraging-Your-Childrens-Friendships/-326307377769214391.html
2016-08-24T17:59:00Z
2016-08-24T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />In fourth grade, I was the chubby, lonely bookworm, and over the summer, I prayed every night before bed for a friend. The first day of fifth grade, a tall, skinny girl walked in the room. She looked just as miserable as I felt. A very wise teacher paired us up in class immediately, and we became fast friends. <br /><br />Not only were we both a little geeky, but we were both raised by our grandparents. I was a country girl, and she was a city girl, but our grandparents always put in the effort so we could spend time together. Over the years, she has loved me through losses and life's foibles, and I've been there for her through a nasty divorce. Thirty five years have passed since the fourth grade. You can still find us laughing like schoolgirls at times, and crying like the world is ending at others. <br /><br />Having a friendship like ours doesn't happen very often. The chubby girl and her gangly friend turned out pretty darn cute too! Today I have my own little 12-year-old bookworm, and I've encouraged her to seek out good, trusted friends. She has done that, and so far she hasn't gone through any of the angst I experienced at that age. Putting in the effort to encourage our children's friendships is so worth it! <br /> <br />Charity <br />
Staff
2016-08-24T17:59:00Z
Your Words Resonate
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Your-Words-Resonate/712397753117590178.html
2016-08-23T17:59:00Z
2016-08-23T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I recently heard you talk to a young boy about his frustrations playing tennis. You warmed my heart as you told him about your struggles in your first two years of learning to play pool. You took so much time with this boy, and he was listening to your every word. It was wonderful to hear you give such great advice on a level we could all understand, yet you made sure he grasped all the steps you asked him to take. You asked him to call back after he took all of those steps, and I only hope to be listening for the second part of your conversation with him. <br /><br />As a long-time listener, I've heard you guide many people in difficult situations, and I've also laughed when you've refused to answer "<em>stupid</em>" questions from women who should know better. But even with those calls, we all learn something from your responses. So even though there are many of us who are just listeners, and not people who call to talk with you, your words resonate more than you know.<br /><br />I sometimes wish you could have been MY mother, but the age difference just wouldn't work - I'm almost 61 years old! <br /><br />Thanks for making me smile, laugh out loud, and sometimes cry along with you. You're the absolute best.<br /><br />Elizabeth<br />
Staff
2016-08-23T17:59:00Z
Finally Looking to the Future
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finally-Looking-to-the-Future/680034534088407131.html
2016-08-22T17:59:00Z
2016-08-22T17:59:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I have to thank you because you solved my problem without my ever having had to call you! I retired five years ago so I could help care for my parents as they faced the final stages of their lives. My husband and I decided to start new careers by opening a small business, but he had a stroke two years ago. The stroke left him with aphasia, taking away his ability to be the great salesman he once was. My father passed away shortly after that, and my mom agreed to move into an assisted living place. She loves it and it took a load off my shoulders. Our business, however, has been a financial burden and has overtaken our life, and we've had very little happiness in the last two years.<br /><br />Then I happened to hear you talking to a caller who had been depressed and was on medication. You talked to him about a career change and then said "<em>is this what you want to do between now and dead?</em>" That statement stayed with me for months, and finally a solution popped into my head for our situation. My husband and I are closing our storefront business and will continue to sell online. It will give us the chance to continue to do what we love, but without having to be at a "<em>brick and mortar"</em> store six days a week. For the first time in a very long time, we're looking forward to the future. At 62, I've learned one is never too old for change! Thank you!<br /><br />Celine<br />
Staff
2016-08-22T17:59:00Z
Trusting Myself
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Trusting-Myself/-219451045395556901.html
2016-08-19T17:59:00Z
2016-08-19T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Last year, I called you because I had difficulty deciding between two jobs. My job at the time was stressful, I had unpredictable hours, and I was barely hanging on to my sanity, but I was making a lot of money so I could save up for a future baby. The new job I was offered had more predictable hours, so I'd be able to spend more time with my husband, but I would take a significant pay cut. I wanted to be able to save enough to be a stay-at-home mom when the time came, and I was worried that if I took the new job, that goal would be unattainable. You told me to trust that I had weighed each option and made the right decision.<br /><br />I chose the new job, and now I love it, and I'm home every night and able to eat dinner with my husband. I'm now able to be truly present with him on the weekends too. I'm happier, healthier and even have hobbies again. My husband and I make furniture together and we'll supplement our loss in income with a small online shop. I've also worked out other ways to grow our savings so I can stay at home when we have kids.<br /><br />Thank you for reminding me to trust in myself. I couldn't be happier.<br /><br />Callie <br />
Staff
2016-08-19T17:59:00Z
The Power Women Hold in Relationships
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Power-Women-Hold-in-Relationships/-449391988435069585.html
2016-08-18T17:59:00Z
2016-08-18T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My fiancé and I are both 60, and have known each other since we were children. We both have had one previous (and disastrous) marriage to other people, and our children are grown and gone. <br /><br />I want to have a good marriage this time around and live out the rest of my years with the person I love. After a few months of spending a lot of time together, I kept thinking that he wasn't living up to my DREAM. I was bitter and unsatisfied, even though I knew he loved me dearly. Because of my previous marital experience, I had insisted on total honesty and transparency about his past, but then I'd throw it up to him during disagreements. I was bitchy and whiny about things beyond his control.<br /><br />My last minute decision to buy "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>" (even though we haven't married yet) actually saved our relationship. After the very first day of reading, I put a few of your suggestions to the test. He came over after work, and I hugged him, brought him a glass of wine without interrogating him, and cooked him a really good meal. I was just NICE to him, and he said with tears in his eyes "<em>I love you so much it makes me want to cry.</em>" Wow.<br /><br />I felt so ashamed that I had put this wonderful man through ten kinds of hell, and he still loved me even though I had acted so horribly toward him. I plan to re-read your book every time I feel the old me returning! Thank you for opening my eyes to the power women hold in our relationships.<br /><br />Amanda <br />
Staff
2016-08-18T17:59:00Z
My One Woman Quest
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-One-Woman-Quest/-375376160845851865.html
2016-08-17T17:59:00Z
2016-08-17T17:59:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My sister visited recently, and she was constantly checking her phone and/or her Facebook site. Other family members who she hadn't seen in years were also visiting us at that time, but every time her iPhone buzzed, she had to pull herself away from the real conversation to see what information her latest message contained. As soon as she was finished reading, she expected the rest of us to fill her in on what she had missed in our discussion! I put my foot down and refused to participate in that "catch up" game, and she got really annoyed at me. <br /><br />People think they are "tuned in" to society by using their electronic devices, but in reality, they are "tuning OUT" society. It's not just rude to the people you are with to behave that way, but you also miss out on enjoying the moment you're in! <br /><br />Adults as well as teens are addicted to their cell phones, and I intend to continue my one woman quest to get friends, relatives or even acquaintances to stop this boorish behavior when they're in the company of others. Wish me luck!<br /><br />Carrie <br />
Staff
2016-08-17T17:59:00Z
Your Encouragement
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Your-Encouragement/-745196774385387451.html
2016-08-16T17:59:00Z
2016-08-16T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I was recently enjoying the animated movie <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0435761/" target="_blank">Toy Story 3</a> with my young kids. In this particular movie, the toys debated whether they would be happier sitting in an attic at their owner's home or be donated to the Sunnyside daycare. <a href="http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0002466/?ref_=tt_cl_t1" target="_blank">Woody</a>, one of the characters said "<em>Just wait until you see what daycare is like! Daycare is a sad, lonely place for washed-up old toys who have no owners.</em>" Sure enough, the toys discover they are treated like prisoners, and they describe the daycare as a place of "<em>ruin and despair.</em>" I thought of you while we were watching this!<br /><br />I'm so thankful every day for my four children and the fleeting moments we share, especially while they're so young. As you've said before, it's the quantity time, and not just the quality time that really creates true bonding. I know they'll be off to college or out of the house in the blink of an eye. I will treasure our childhood memories while they're home safe with me and not trapped at Sunnyside daycare, as in the movie.<br /><br />Thank you for encouraging women every day to be present with their children and for praising stay-at-home moms for making one of the best decisions in their life.<br /><br />With gratitude,<br /><br />Drea<br /><br />
Staff
2016-08-16T17:59:00Z
I Will Never Stop Caring
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Will-Never-Stop-Caring/249016639380766001.html
2016-08-15T17:59:00Z
2016-08-15T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband and I met each other in middle school, but didn't date until after high school. Having been friends all those years helped solidify our relationship and we fell in love. We married when we were both 22 and the first year was difficult, because neither of us really knew what our roles were as husband and wife. My mom gave me "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>," and I immediately understood what I was lacking. I wish I could shout at the top of a mountain for all wives to read your book! My husband and I both came from fatherless families, so following your guidelines really helped both of us. It worked like magic!<br /><br />We're now 30 years old, and I still love to make him happy. I throw my arms around him when he comes home from a long day of work, and I provide a peaceful, restful home for him. He always tells me how he LOVES being home too - which is one of the best compliments a wife can receive.<br /><br />I think you'd be proud of the loving environment we've both created for our 15 month old daughter. Thank you for giving me guidance and direction for my marriage. I will never stop caring and feeding him, and he has told me he'd swim through shark-infested waters to bring me a glass of lemonade.<br /><br />Queenie<br /><br />
Staff
2016-08-15T17:59:00Z
Teaching Empathy to My Daughter
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teaching-Empathy-to-My-Daughter/-248391424870243834.html
2016-08-12T17:59:00Z
2016-08-12T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr.Laura:<br /><br />My husband and I found a way to teach our 5-year-old daughter the basics of empathy. We sponsored a girl in Rwanda who was born the same month and year as our daughter. Our daughter sent small notes, drawings and photos to the girl and got the same back. That's when the questions started: "that isn't what a house looks like - why is it made out of sticks, and why is their floor dirt?" "Does she go to school? What does she eat?"<br /><br />The questions led to great conversations about how much of the world lives and how we can be of help to this girl and her family. A few times a year, we buy clothes, soap, toothbrushes and other staples. Since we've started doing this, I've seen my daughter grow as she's learning how to be humble, have concern for others and be empathetic. I recommend this for families with small children, because it's a wonderful teaching tool, and these families really do get some additional help they need.<br /><br />Anne <br />
Staff
2016-08-12T17:59:00Z
Reaping the Benefits of My Efforts
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Reaping-the-Benefits-of-My-Efforts/787334128122843242.html
2016-08-11T17:59:00Z
2016-08-11T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am so glad I decided to stay home to raise my two sons. It was way more challenging than I ever thought it would be, but it was the best decision I ever made. <br /><br />When my firstborn son was a baby, I knew something wasn't quite right. As he grew older, he showed an extreme sensitivity to touch and sound. His speech was delayed and his coordination was poor. He lacked eye contact. As you probably guessed, he was diagnosed as autistic. <br /><br />Staying at home with him was often draining because of his flat affect. I'd put out so much energy and enthusiasm and got little back. I had to wait until he got older to reap the benefits of my efforts. My son is now 16 years old, attending public high school and doing well. I look back at those early days and can still feel the heartache, but there were also good times with my sweet little guy. I'm so glad I gave 100% of myself then, so I can live with no regrets now. I know I played a huge role in my son's eventual success, and even though no one ever acknowledges that, I give myself a pat on the back and say "<em>Good job, Mom!</em>" Thank you so much for championing stay-at-home moms.<br /><br />Nora <br />
Staff
2016-08-11T17:59:00Z
Super Duper Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Super-Duper-Love/-507783444701138709.html
2016-08-10T17:59:00Z
2016-08-10T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband and I have been successfully married for twelve and a half years. During that time, I have made sure to praise him, treat him the way I wanted to be treated, pinch his derriere (in a playful way, of course), iron his work shirt every morning wearing only my panties, pick up after him, be his partner on home projects, encourage him, text him at work to wish him a good day, and have lots of sex with him.<br /><br />I've found that my doing all those things, plus a few more, have made him a happy husband/boyfriend. In exchange, I receive nightly foot rubs and pretty much whatever I want, and I do what I do for him out of love - not for the goodies I get.<br /><br />My goal is to make him feel and know that he is the most important person to me in the world, and for him to know how much I "<em>super duper</em>" love him. He's truly my very best friend. Thank you for always reminding us to continue to be our husbands' girlfriends, even after many years of marriage. It works, and we're both happier for it.<br /><br />Shavaun <br />
Staff
2016-08-10T17:59:00Z
I Didn't Think That Far Ahead
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Didnt-Think-That-Far-Ahead/-465595308243954665.html
2016-08-09T17:59:00Z
2016-08-09T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />When our son was 12, he wanted to quit piano lessons after taking them for four years. My husband and I were upset, because he was good at piano, so we agreed to give him a two month "<em>break</em>," figuring he would miss them after being away from them for that period of time. He, however, told us at that time that he would not want to start again.<br /><br />As the two months were coming to an end, unbeknownst to me, our son overheard us discussing re-starting the lessons. The next morning, I woke up early and sat on the couch in the dark to watch the sun rise. That's when I saw my son coming down the stairs in his pajamas and then walking over to the kitchen drawer. He pulled out the scissors and went toward the electric piano against the wall. I couldn't see him at that point, but he quickly returned the scissors to the kitchen. I startled him when I stood up and asked "what are you doing?" At first he stammered, but then 'fessed up that he had heard us talking about re-starting the lessons. So he came down the stairs, unplugged the piano and cut the electrical cord. I was stunned. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.<br /><br />I then asked him "<em>What were you planning to say to us when the piano teacher arrived and we realized the piano isn't working because the cord had been cut?</em>" He responded in typical 12-year old fashion: "<em>I didn't think that far ahead.</em>"<br /><br />Alene<br />Mom of an athlete, not a musician<br />
Staff
2016-08-09T17:59:00Z
Daddy & Daughter Bonding
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Daddy--Daughter-Bonding/572094795188573207.html
2016-08-08T17:59:00Z
2016-08-08T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I think there's a special bond between fathers and daughters. I know I had one with MY Dad. He had lots of wisdom that he passed on to me, and I created a list of all the things he said that have "stuck with me" over the years. I thought they might resonate with all of your listeners:<br /><ol>
<li>Always carry yourself like a lady</li>
<br />
<li>There's no such thing as a free lunch.</li>
<br />
<li>Always make sure you have enough money for cab fare when you go on a date.</li>
<br />
<li>You can't help someone out of a hole if you're standing in it.</li>
<br />
<li>A little respect goes a long way.</li>
<br />
<li>Don't spend it if you don't have it.</li>
<br />
<li>Be the best at whatever you do, as long as it's legal and moral. </li>
<br />
<li>Help those in need, but don't give away the farm.</li>
<br />
<li>You can either pay now and play later, or you can play now and pay later.</li>
</ol><br />Clara<br />
Staff
2016-08-08T17:59:00Z
I Love You, But This is Embarrassing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Love-You,-But-This-is-Embarrassing/432328924847599124.html
2016-08-05T17:59:00Z
2016-08-05T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My mother-in-law was being honored for her lifetime achievement as a missionary. While snapping photos at the end of the ceremony, my mother-in-law and my mom posed with my nine-year-old son. They both leaned in and kissed my son on each side of his face. My son rolled his eyes a bit, but a big smile swept over his face, and I snapped one of my favorite photos ever. <br /><br />In my sentimentality, I uploaded a few of the photos from the event to social media, including the "double-grandma kiss" photo. My son came home from visiting one of his grandmas, and said "Nana said you posted the kissing picture! Did you have to do that? I love Grandma and Nana, but kissing is just embarrassing!" With some disappointment, I removed the photo, but that's when I realized that kids should have the right to feel that their home is not a public arena. They should be able to fall down, sing silly songs , make mistakes and not give a front row seat to the whole world. My job as a parent is to make my kids feel safe so they can be themselves without their every move a potential upload. When parents post videos or photos of discipline, shaming, punishments or practical jokes that make a child look foolish, it violates a sacred trust. They deserve to have an opinion and we should listen. <br /><br />My "double grandma" kiss photo will go in the family album. Maybe someday my son will treasure the photo as much as I do, and maybe he'll even post it himself. But for now, he's nine and "kissing is just embarrassing!"<br /><br />Jeanne <br />
Staff
2016-08-05T17:59:00Z
Men Need to be Men
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Men-Need-to-be-Men/927483074898173375.html
2016-08-04T17:59:00Z
2016-08-04T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I was leaving a store yesterday, and happened to reach the door at the same time as a man. I didn't know him, and he was about my age (50ish), dressed very casually in shorts and a T-shirt. <br /><br />As I got to the door, he reached in front of me awkwardly to push the door open so I could go through first. I paused, exited the store and turned to say thank you. His response nearly floored me. He said "Women don't let me be a gentleman anymore. They usually open their own doors." This deeply affected me, and I immediately thought of you.<br /><br />All this man wanted to do was be a gentleman, and in his experience, many women didn't allow him to express such a simple kindness. His comment touched my heart and reminded me that men need to be men, and as women, we NEED to let them be men.<br /><br />Laura<br />
Staff
2016-08-04T17:59:00Z
A Reminder to All Moms
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Reminder-to-All-Moms/-739711767802155244.html
2016-08-03T17:59:00Z
2016-08-03T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr.Laura:<br /><br />When my now 15-year-old daughter was born, I stayed home with her for one year, then went back to work two days a week. Even though the home daycare I chose for her was a warm, loving environment, I still hated leaving her and my other child (who was three years old) each time. Two years and one more baby later, my husband took a job in another country where I was not allowed to work, so I threw myself into being a full-time mom and began listening to you for the first time.<br /><br />When we returned to the states, I continued to stay home and raise our family. I homeschooled our son for most of his first-grade year, when the public school he attended went through six first-grade teachers in one year. When I was offered a contract position by my former employer, my conditions were a maximum of 20 hours a week, always from home (and no need to be in the office). They agreed.<br /><br />Fast forward to now, and just the other day, my 15-year-old daughter thanked me for staying home with them. She told me that the many kids in her high school who bewilder and annoy her with their immature and irresponsible behavior were daycare kids and had no stay-at-home moms to take care of them in the earlier years. <br /><br />Thanks Dr. Laura for changing my perspective many years ago so I knew staying home was absolutely the right decision for our family. Thanks, too, for reminding all of us mothers how important we are in raising our children to be responsible adults.<br /><br />Rhiannon <br />
Staff
2016-08-03T17:59:00Z
If I Had a 'Do Over'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/If-I-Had-a-Do-Over/-537001195780944959.html
2016-08-02T17:59:00Z
2016-08-02T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm a father of several daughters. I've learned that a father has to show his daughter that first and foremost, she is protected and that her dad will defend her and keep her safe. A father has to show grace when it's not always easy. My 17 year old thanked me for not embarrassing her and helping her when she hit the back of a pickup truck and put a small hole in the front bumper of our car. <br /><br />A father has to allow his daughter to make mistakes in order to grow (as long as they're not serious, life-threatening errors). But he has to be sensitive to when she needs you and when you just need to back off.<br /><br />I sometimes wish I could have a '<em>do over</em>' because I would be more patient and be more loving and not care what my friends thought of me and my lack of time for them. I would fully engage. I wouldn't care about the money I made or what I thought was important as much, because having children (and especially daughters) requires a dad to put in a lot of time, sympathy, and basic love.<br /><br />By the way, I love it when you give married women advice, because my wife listens closely, and I am the benefactor of your wisdom! You go girl!!<br /><br />Gary<br />My kids' Dad <br />
Staff
2016-08-02T17:59:00Z
We Need Strong, Educated Youth For Our Future
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Need-Strong,-Educated-Youth-For-Our-Future/464281460003500453.html
2016-08-01T17:59:00Z
2016-08-01T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr.Laura:<br /><br />As a college professor teaching freshman English and literature courses, it's been my experience that today's students expect an "A" just for showing up. When I provide feedback on their work, if they perceive any criticism, they take offense and run to the dean, saying that I think they're worthless! I've even had a student tell me that he can find the answers online, so cheating is okay! <br /><br />Not only are we crippling our children by building false self-esteem, but prior to college, they seem to have been taught only to take tests, and not to develop problem-solving skills. Teachers used to have the respect of the community. Now many school districts have numerous openings and teachers are harassed by parents and school boards. These days, teachers are judged by how well their students do on tests, and their income depends on it. <br /><br />I am passionate about what I do. I love when I see students discover the power of learning to think and engage in their own learning, but we are stealing that important life experience form them when we make things too easy for them. Thanks for keeping children at the forefront of your discussions. We need to have strong, educated youth for our future.<br /><br />Pear. <br />
Staff
2016-08-01T17:59:00Z
I Broke The Rule
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Broke-The-Rule/-219961137051214513.html
2016-07-29T17:59:00Z
2016-07-29T17:59:00Z
<br />I am a proud stay-at-home mom. I've heard your stance on kids with cell phones, but somehow I thought MY kids were different and that they'd totally obey my rule of not using the chat option on their phones. Boy, was I wrong.<br /><br />My 13 year old son told me that he had been talking to someone involved in an online game and that he had a "<em>date</em>" with this person to play the next day. That was it. My husband and I sat down with both our kids to tell them of the many dangers of chatting online. We then took away their phones.<br /><br />To my delightful surprise, our boys didn't act like they cared one bit. They originally thought they would get their phones back, but when I told them that I regretting getting them phones in the first place and they weren't going to get them back, they just rolled with it.<br /><br />I now have two very happy and active boys who are phone-free. They haven't asked about them in months. I was shocked. They're playing "<em>pretend</em>" outside, playing in the house, and have come up with ways to entertain themselves. We take family trips and even Mom and Dad don't use our phones the whole time we're together. We've bonded a lot more as a family too. I wish I never had broken your rule, but now I have used my brain and everything is working out better than I had hoped. I'll listen and follow your guidance from now on instead of thinking we're somehow "<em>special</em>!"<br /><br />Jenni <br />
Staff
2016-07-29T17:59:00Z
I'm Not Giving Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Not-Giving-Up/19824976745216050.html
2016-07-28T17:59:00Z
2016-07-28T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />One of the hardest things I've had to do is start my journey to weight loss. I had to kick out some very harmful habits and deep-rooted beliefs that contributed to my pain and my issues with weight, self-confidence and joy in my life. I've heard you many times talk about this, and you've been my inspiration.<br /><br />I've lost 42 pounds thus far. I wrestled very hard to overcome all these long-held assumptions of mine, and while it's been slow going (I've lost this weight over a three year period), I am not giving up! I found that it's important to have support so I don't feel like I'm all alone in this. I DO now have that support and as a result, I finally believe in myself, and wonderful things are happening to me because of this process.<br /><br />Thank you for showing us to look in the eye all the excuses we make and to start moving! <br /><br />Ramona<br />
Staff
2016-07-28T17:59:00Z
My 'Boyfriend'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Boyfriend/-473451673038474140.html
2016-07-27T17:59:00Z
2016-07-27T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr.Laura:<br /><br />They don't make men like they used to! I'm happy I found my man 27 years ago. He's a strong man who won't let anyone take advantage of his family. He's an honest, hard-working man, and a father who is there to guide his children every single day (and whether they're near or far, they turn to him almost daily).<br /><br />He's a man who finds humor, hope and life lessons in daily mistakes or accomplishments...a man who trains his staff to be better than he is, and sincerely finds joy in witnessing them raising their own families.<br /><br />He doesn't let petty things ruin his day, and most of all, he's a man who cherishes every second he spends with his family.<br /><br />I still look forward to seeing my husband (also known as "my boyfriend") every day as though it were our first date. He is just that amazing, and I love him dearly.<br /><br />Melinda <br />
Staff
2016-07-27T17:59:00Z
You CAN Have It All, If You Choose Wisely
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-CAN-Have-It-All,-If-You-Choose-Wisely/641026994386207167.html
2016-07-26T17:59:00Z
2016-07-26T17:59:00Z
<br />My husband and I have been married for 26 years. We have three grown children and two grandchildren (so far). We recently returned from our FIRST vacation together by ourselves ever! We traveled to the Caribbean and enjoyed a week of nothing but sitting by the pool or splashing into the ocean....together! It was fabulous.<br /><br />As I watched the sun set on the beautiful ocean water, I began reflecting on our life together. After a year of dating and taking time to get to know each other, I fell in love with him when he spoke one sentence: "I would lay down my life for you." That was it. I was hooked and knew right then he was a real man and not a boy. He went on to show me that chivalry was not dead, and that a woman deserved to be loved, despite previous abuse (I had been married before at age 18 to a man who was physically abusive). <br /><br />My husband worked every day to provide for our family. My children are better people because of the choice we made in their early years to have a parent at home with them. As I look back on these 26 years of married life, I realize you CAN have it all if you choose wisely, are kind and always act like you are still dating (but of course, with benefits). We're looking forward to the next 26 years together and beyond. <br /><br />Linda<br />
Staff
2016-07-26T17:59:00Z
Thank you, From Me AND My Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-you,-From-Me-AND-My-Husband/-341743773905289042.html
2016-07-25T17:59:00Z
2016-07-25T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr.Laura:<br /><br />You are a constant topic in our Army household. Recently, I was on the back porch reading, and I was really into this good book. My husband came out and asked me if I would meet him in our bedroom for some "quality time." I began to make excuses so I could continue to read, and that's when he said "I'm going to tell Dr. Laura on you!"I laughed, closed the book and said "I'll be right there, honey!"<br /><br />We had a fun-filled couple of hours because I got off my selfish little butt and made sure my man was happy. He thinks it's great that he now has you to go to bat for him, but he won't have to invoke you any longer, because I learned from that little episode that when my man needs me, I'm going to be there for him without a moment's hesitation.I thought I was doing a good job being his girlfriend, but apparently I needed a bit of a wake-up call.<br /><br />My husband also wanted me to thank you for all the hard work you do and continue to do to help Operation Family Fund. He knows what the VA is like and said to tell you how much he respects you for helping his fellow soldiers. He feels better knowing that people like you still care and have their backs. Thank you for always being helpful to me, whether you know it or not!<br /><br />Julie<br />
Staff
2016-07-25T17:59:00Z
It Just Takes 1 Ingredient
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Just-Takes-1-Ingredient/-326758493779938715.html
2016-07-22T17:59:00Z
2016-07-22T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Your assumption that daughters who have a great relationship with their dads will seek out and often marry a man very similar in personality is dead on. One of my daughters was very close to my wife growing up, and I offered her a trip away to foster OUR relationship. That year we went west for four days of hiking. The next four years we spent time at different places all around the world, creating a bond and level of respect that to this day she says kept her out of a lot of trouble.<br /><br />After her first serious dating relationship fizzled, I asked her for her list of "must haves" in a husband. We compiled a list of ten, and I suggested she treat every prospective date as a "mirror" comparison to her list, BEFORE there was any romantic connection. I told her that if the package didn't contain the contents she was looking for, to move on. She embraced that checklist and when she found someone she thought was a winner, it was easy for us to support them (and surprise - he had a disposition and personality similar to mine). They got engaged a year later and married a year after that.<br /><br />So to all the dads out there....you can be the biggest influence in your daughter's life. All it takes is one ingredient - your time. Give it generously, provide gentle advice as needed, and be there for the tears as they stumble through the biggest decisions of their lives. Create special occasions to get away one-on-one for real bonding. You'll have to spend the time one way or another - either "up front," building their character and morality, or much later, picking up the pieces of their lives after poor decisions go horribly wrong.<br /><br />Al <br />
Staff
2016-07-22T17:59:00Z
If I Can Do It, You Can Too!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/If-I-Can-Do-It,-You-Can-Too!/-716227667652486699.html
2016-07-21T20:30:00Z
2016-07-21T20:30:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I have been legally divorced since my daughter was only a year old. My ex-husband became physically abusive several months into my pregnancy, and I had to get away. He has never given me a penny and has almost no interaction with our now 16 year old daughter.<br /><br />I've always been self-employed, so I was able to raise my daughter and stay at home with her. I homeschooled her, and never left her with a babysitter. I don't date, and won't until she's out of college. I've been able to build a business while my daughter is sleeping, waking up at 4:30AM and working until she gets up, so it doesn't take away from my being her mom. <br /><br />I hope my story helps one of your listeners know that this is worth all the adjustments. Do what you have to do to raise your children. Being an at-home mom is a gift, and seeing my daughter grow into a responsible, confident young woman with strong character is priceless. <br /><br />Brittany (a faithful and forever grateful listener)<br />
Staff
2016-07-21T20:30:00Z
The 3 Rules for a Good Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-3-Rules-for-a-Good-Marriage/769265253937271174.html
2016-07-20T17:59:00Z
2016-07-20T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />As a feminist, I'm an unlikely huge fan of yours. I did not marry until I was 47 (I'm 61 now). When I married, I had not yet started listening to you, but I did have the sense not to "shack up" with him before marriage and we dated for 2 years. We also went to pre-marital counseling, so I guess I was a supporter of yours without knowing it!<br /><br />After several years of marriage, I started feeling like a "nag," and felt like I wasn't being appreciated. That really scared me, because I could feel the resentment building between us. <br /><br />Then I stumbled on your program, and after listening for several months, picked up on three rules for a good marriage: <br /><br /><ol>
<li>Watch and compliment</li>
<br />
<li>Tell him what a good husband and decent man he is</li>
<br />
<li>Remember that sex makes him feel loved. </li>
</ol><br />None of these were in my repertory at the time, but I decided to do them anyway. Once I did, I was blown away with his appreciation and love. I don't think I was a terrible wife, but I WAS a mediocre one, with much to lose if I did not wake up.<br /><br />Since doing those three things, our relationship has greatly deepened, and we're having much more fun. Like you predicted, the nicer and more appreciative I was, the better everything else became. Your advice was truly invaluable.<br /><br />Deb <br />
Staff
2016-07-20T17:59:00Z
It Was Me, Not Her
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Was-Me,-Not-Her/64947356734970088.html
2016-07-19T17:59:00Z
2016-07-19T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My 38 year old daughter and I were very close when she was growing up, but then we went through a rough stage. She was mean. I cried. She rarely came to visit. I complained. But because I listen to your show whenever I can, I began to realize how I wasn't helping our not-so-good relationship. I slowly began changing what I said to her so she would know I wasn't trying to run her life. I then backed off 99.9% from giving advice. Every time I learned something new from you about a mother-daughter relationship, I began to ingrain it into my life.<br /><br />Before, I was hurt and disappointed that my daughter didn't need me and didn't seem to even like me. Then I realized that it was MY neediness that was the problem. She didn't need recipes and quotes and cleaning tips - THAT she could get on the Internet. She DID need support, honest praise and hugs. Once that sank in, life between us became good again. <br /><br />Thank you for helping me see how I could repair our relationship! We are now in a much better place and can enjoy each other again.<br /><br />Clara<br />
Staff
2016-07-19T17:59:00Z
Life Isn't Meant to be Lived Alone
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Life-Isnt-Meant-to-be-Lived-Alone/-203932024017658616.html
2016-07-18T17:59:00Z
2016-07-18T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Recently, I heard you tell a male caller to end his relationship with his much older girlfriend. You mentioned that when he is in his seventies, that's the time, he would need someone with him. <br /><br />That advice really struck home with me. I am 52, I have no kids, and I've never been married. I didn't think my life would go this way, but it has. As I get older, I realize that life is not meant to be lived alone, and the older I get, the harder life gets. I know the reasons why I am single, but I haven't been able to push through them yet.<br /><br />I've been doing a lot of thinking since that call, and while I'm not yet sure what I'm going to do next, I know it needs to be something that takes me on a road to walk hand in hand with someone who wants to walk hand in hand with me. <br /><br />Thank you for always being a voice of reason. And I love it when Mikey barks in the background - he keeps it real!<br /><br />Marilyn<br /><br />
Staff
2016-07-18T17:59:00Z
Parenthood is Not for Wimps
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parenthood-is-Not-for-Wimps/926180415291257930.html
2016-06-28T17:59:00Z
2016-06-28T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I can't help but wonder what happened to parents from my generation who have dropped the ball on teaching their children. I hear comments all the time like "well, it's a world full of electronics, and my kids need to stay current," but those are just excuses.<br /><br />So often I see parents who don't want to be bothered or are too tired to really engage with their kids so they just put a phone or video game or other electronic gadget in their hands to act as a babysitter. It annoys me to no end.<br /><br />My mother has a great saying that I often quote: "It's easy to be a so-so mom, but hard to be a <em>good</em> mom." Parenthood is not for wimps, so if you have kids, start making sure that YOU'RE teaching your kids good morals and values.<br /><br />Getting off my soapbox for now....<br /><br />Cee Cee<br />
Staff
2016-06-28T17:59:00Z
I Wouldn't Trade, For Any Amount of Money
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Wouldnt-Trade,-For-Any-Amount-of-Money/553875766423299487.html
2016-06-27T17:59:00Z
2016-06-27T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I married at the age of 20 to a 22 year old military guy. I continued on in school to please my parents. I had my first son during my final four classes at college. It took me one year to finish the "incomplete" grades I got in those classes and get my Bachelor's degree. It was so hard to be a wife, mother, and part-time student that I had no interest in adding employment to the mix. I <em>knew</em> it was best to be home with my kid.<br /><br />I had two more sons in the next few years. When they were all in school, I worked part-time at the schools they went to. My work only paid for their tuition, so it was never to have additional income. We have lived on one income for the vast majority of our 43 years of marriage. We've never lived a life of luxury, but we've never been in want, and I was always there when my husband and sons wanted me or needed me.<br /><br />It wasn't all fun, and sometimes I got "cocky" and thought I could do better. Then reality would set in, and I knew being home was the right thing to do for my entire family. I wouldn't trade what I have now for any amount of stress from work OR additional money.<br /><br />Joanna (also known as "One Happy Woman")<br />
Staff
2016-06-27T17:59:00Z
Not Your Typical Answer
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Not-Your-Typical-Answer/-782971253706065353.html
2016-06-24T17:59:00Z
2016-06-24T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I have an amusing story. I worked in hospice for many years, and always asked our patients if they had any regrets about their lives. We usually got the typical answers, but one day, I got a different response.<br /><br />When I asked an elderly woman if she had any regrets in her life, she replied:"I really regret that I didn't sleep with that saxophone player back in the 40s. He was so damned handsome!" I couldn't quit laughing.....<br /><br />Nancy<br />
Staff
2016-06-24T17:59:00Z
Peer Pressure
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Peer-Pressure/513091813234996011.html
2016-06-23T17:59:00Z
2016-06-23T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I fell in love with each of my kids as they were born. When my first was about eight months old, I took a part-time job as a hostess at a restaurant, from 10AM to 2PM. We didn't need the money, but I was being pressured by my mom to go back to work.<br /><br />A few months into my job, my son got sick, and the <strong><em>babysitter</em></strong> took him to the doctor for me. When I picked him up later that day, she told me what was wrong and the medication he needed to take. I went home crying that the babysitter was the one who took him to the doctor, and not me.<br /><br />After that, my husband said that I needed to quit my job and that he didn't want anyone but me raising our kids. It was the best day of my life. He has done everything in his power - even taking on three jobs --so that I could stay home. Now two of my kids are in college and the last one is in high school. It was worth every minute and every sacrifice we had to make.<br /><br />Deena <br /><br />
Staff
2016-06-23T17:59:00Z
The Desire To Nest
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Desire-To-Nest/519001225291197460.html
2016-06-22T17:59:00Z
2016-06-22T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When I got married 23 years ago, I had the dreams that most women have. I called it the "desire to nest." I wanted the little house with a picket fence and to live in the same neighborhood all my days, raising my children, having them put roots down, living close to my parents so they would always have Grandma and Granddaddy around.<br /><br />But I married a gospel minister, and I soon realized that ministers move around. Churches aren't like businesses, and working in them means you go where God leads you. I really struggled with this. I've had to grow a lot, and now at age 47, I still have never owned my own home. We live in homes provided by the churches, and I've come to realize that it's not the house or the dirt it sits on that makes the home. It's the people in it. Wherever my husband and children are, that's HOME.<br /><br />Caryn<br /><br />
Staff
2016-06-22T17:59:00Z
My Children Need Me, At ALL Stages Of Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Children-Need-Me,-At-ALL-Stages-Of-Life/-885546194986166114.html
2016-06-21T17:59:00Z
2016-06-21T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />There was never any question in my mind that I would get a college degree and be a stay-at-home mom. My education molded me into adulthood and solidified my values. Being a full-time mother is an opportunity to instill values, and to love and nurture little ones who will hopefully contribute to society. My children needed me at all stages of their lives, from infancy through to high school and beyond. <br /><br />When my oldest child was a toddler, we drove past a fenced-in yard and large building with a playground. He asked what it was, and I explained it was a daycare center where kids went while their parents were at work. He got very solemn and thoughtful and then said to me "Mom, I don't want to do that daycare thing. I want to be home with you." I assured him I would always be home with him.<br /><br />My college-age daughter calls me frequently from her dorm, telling me all about her week. One of her roommates noted that she never confided to them any of her struggles. Her answer? "I just tell my mom everything and then I'm fine." I can't think of a better compliment than that!<br /><br />Shelby <br /><br /><br />
Staff
2016-06-21T17:59:00Z
My New Normal
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-New-Normal/72113041825043160.html
2016-06-20T17:59:00Z
2016-06-20T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Much of my life (even as a kid), I've been a strong, energized, creative and independent thinker. I lived life in the moment, and when I did not, I looked mainly forward, and seldom back. Then five years ago, I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. My family and I took it in stride, and even my teenage daughters dealt with it soundly and calmly.<br /><br />But slowly, something shifted in <span style="text-decoration: underline;">me</span>. I became anxious. I began to doubt myself and my abilities, and I sweated every problem ad nauseam. Managing my diabetes became more difficult and depression set in. I was frustrated at my inability to be able to do everything to a standard that I had always set for myself.<br /><br />In the last two years, I've found a new "norm" of well-being and happiness. I resigned as a department head of the school where I teach, and I took a leave of absence to take care of myself and my family. Now I'm back to living in the moment, day by day. I cleansed myself of the negative people in my life, and instead found people who bring joy. I've delved into cooking, gardening, golfing and most significantly, being the best wife and mother I can be. <br /><br />It sounds so simple and sounds like a cliche, but it's so effective. If there's a listener out there who can be helped by my story, I'm happy for you to share it. <br /><br />Roxanne<br /><br />
Staff
2016-06-20T17:59:00Z
Dads REALLY Matter
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dads-REALLY-Matter/808411412688607372.html
2016-06-17T17:59:00Z
2016-06-17T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura!<br /><br />With Father's Day this weekend, I'm reminded about another reason why I love my husband. We have three daughters, and he has taught ALL of them how to "fix" stuff.He has shown them how to fix basic problems like toilet leaks, and they all know how to safely use power tools. They are well equipped to face the "little problems" they'll encounter when they're out on their own!<br /><br />For those who think otherwise, I'm proud to say that Dads <strong>really</strong> matter! I'm grateful to have such a special husband and wonderful father to our girls. They would not be the same people without their daddy. As I tell them daily, when the time comes, they are to "choose wisely!"<br /><br />Happy Father's Day to all the responsible, loving fathers out there!<br /><br />Arnelle <br /><br />
Staff
2016-06-17T17:59:00Z
Morality, Sanity, And A Bit Of Good Humor
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Morality,-Sanity,-And-A-Bit-Of-Good-Humor/27098349718578881.html
2016-06-15T17:59:00Z
2016-06-15T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband and I just gave a class on dating and marriage to young, single adults ages 18 to 30. We addressed the issues of why young people aren't getting married. The first issue is a growing pessimism about marriage and a focus on personal independence before and after marriage. They see so many failed marriages and wonder if it's even a real thing to be "<em>happily married</em>."<br /><br />The second issue is a primary focus on personal financial independence for both men and women. They think you must have personal independence and a lot of money to afford to be married or have children. They don't think about working together to get through any tough times.<br /><br />Third, there's widespread sexual permissiveness and high rates of couples "<em>shacking up</em>" before marriage, even though shack up couples are more likely to get divorced.<br /><br />The young adults in the class actually agreed with these, but they don't know how to date anymore. They just "<em>hang out</em>." But if you're looking for a person to marry, it has to be face to face, one on one - texting doesn't count. And you have to build the relationship and see if he or she is a good match. This all sounds old-fashioned, but our life experience has taught us some things these young adults don't see. Thank you Dr. Laura for all you do to bring morality, sanity, and a bit of good humor to us every day.<br /><br />Suzanne <br /><br />
Staff
2016-06-15T17:59:00Z
Advantages of Staying At Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Advantages-of-Staying-At-Home/397975452031781018.html
2016-06-14T17:59:00Z
2016-06-14T17:59:00Z
<br /><br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I started listening to you while I was a busy executive working mom with two young daughters in daycare and a surprise third daughter on the way. I couldn't imagine how I would handle work and shuttling an infant and two grade school girls to daycare and school before going to work each day. Then I heard you discuss the advantages of a mom staying at home.<br /><br />That wasn't anything I was hearing anywhere else! I thought I needed to work outside the home to be a complete person. But I heard you, Dr. Laura, and you gave me the strength, backbone and heart to make the decision to quit my career and stay home to raise my girls. It was the best decision I've ever made, other than choosing a wonderful husband who supported that decision.<br /><br />My girls got full tuition academic scholarships to a private college. I believe their love of academics is partially due to the support I was able to provide by being available to them each day in countless ways. They all finished their education, and two got advanced degrees. They waited for the right guys and I have three terrific sons-in-law who are strong partners to the bright, intelligent, loving wives they married. <br /><br />We are better people because of you, and as we start this new phase of our lives as empty nesters, I'll continue to be my husband's girlfriend, and my kids' mom.<br /><br />Susan<br /><br />
Staff
2016-06-14T17:59:00Z
Paying for Advantage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Paying-for-Advantage/84206356544826410.html
2016-06-13T17:59:00Z
2016-06-13T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />One of my friends asked me why I spend so much money for my kids to do sports. Well, I don't really pay for them to do sports - I spend the money for those moments when they become so tired they want to quit, but don't. I pay for my kids to be disciplined, focused and dedicated. I pay for my kids to learn to take care of their bodies and their equipment. I pay for them to learn to work with others and to be good teammates, gracious in defeat and humble in success. I pay for my kids to learn to deal with disappointment when they don't get that "placing" or that title they'd hoped for, but still go back week after week, giving it their best shot. I pay for them to learn that it takes hours and hours, years and years of hard work and practice to become a champion and that success doesn't happen overnight. I pay for my kids to make life-long friendships, create life-long memories, and to be as proud of their achievements as I am.<br /><br />I could go on, but I don't pay for sports - I pay for the opportunities that sports provide my kids to develop attributes that will serve them well throughout their lives. From what I've seen so far, I think it's a great investment!<br /><br />Pat<br /><br />
Staff
2016-06-13T17:59:00Z
My Smart Kid Is Now A Smart Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Smart-Kid-Is-Now-A-Smart-Mom/135605245141412613.html
2016-06-10T17:59:00Z
2016-06-10T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband and I never expected to become grandparents. Our daughter was dedicated to furthering her education. She was our little science geek growing up and now works at a prestigious medical center. Her career was her passion.<br /><br />Then she met a good man we really liked and married him. Children weren't in their plans, but seven years later, we were told they were expecting a child. This was a happy shock to my husband and me. Our precious granddaughter arrived (we were there), and my daughter took maternity leave, and her husband took family medical leave, so they could bond with their bundle of joy. <br /><br />I helped with household chores, and my daughter extended her maternity leave a few time. Finally, she went back to work, but only in the early morning hours. Dad works "second shift" so he was able to be there when his daughter was awake. Then my daughter announced that she was putting science "on the shelf" and concentrating on raising her daughter. I'm so proud of her not letting the pressures of a career cloud her judgment. My son-in-law totally supports the decision too.<br /><br />We live 300 miles away, but I get regular phone calls about our granddaughter's latest escapades. We visit frequently, and I babysit now and then. Seeing my daughter sitting on the porch blowing bubbles with her daughter or running around the yard with her, I don't see her as wasting her education. She was a smart kid, and now she's a really smart Mom!<br /><br />Maria<br /><br />
Staff
2016-06-10T17:59:00Z
Marriage Is A Series Of Problem Solving
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Marriage-Is-A-Series-Of-Problem-Solving/436428495782205091.html
2016-06-09T17:59:00Z
2016-06-09T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />28 years ago, my husband and I went into our marriage with a goal of having peace in our home. We both came from backgrounds of bickering parents and a contentious home life. We decided that there must be a better way, so we worked hard to solve problems with kindness and respect. <br /><br />We've often said to each other that if you can learn how to solve problems together, you pretty much have it made in a marriage, because marriage is a series of problem solving over and over again. We're proud of the peaceful atmosphere we've created.<br /><br />But others don't believe us! They say I must not be telling the truth - that OF COURSE we must be fighting. I've heard that fighting is healthy and good for a marriage, and if you're not fighting you don't have enough passion. A family member even told me I was screwing up my kids because I wasn't showing them what a "real" relationship looked like.<br /><br />Now that the nest is empty, my children have told me how grateful they are to have grown up in a home filled with peace, and how safe they felt here. My oldest son made an excellent choice in a wife. My daughter wants to share with the world the message that peace is possible. Maybe my experience can help someone else, because yes, peace in a home IS possible if you've chosen wisely. <br /><br />Marilyn<br /><br />
Staff
2016-06-09T17:59:00Z
Household Engineer
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Household-Engineer/-472868840453708202.html
2016-06-08T17:59:00Z
2016-06-08T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />At 27, I'm the mom of two healthy little girls and the wife to my high school sweetheart and best friend. I love spending every day home with my girls, but before listening to your program and enjoying your books, I always felt a need to explain my choice to stay home.<br /><br />Recently, I began calling myself a "<em>household engineer</em>" when asked, because it seems to help people today better comprehend all that goes into being a stay-at-home mom!Thank you for helping me feel empowered and valued for what I do for my family. I hope you know how impactful you are on people's lives in big and small ways.<br /><br />Winnie<br /><br />
Staff
2016-06-08T17:59:00Z
I'm PROUD I Moved Out
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-PROUD-I-Moved-Out/121411000225520711.html
2016-06-06T17:59:00Z
2016-06-06T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I recently read an article that said for the first time in modern history, living with one's parents now edges out other living arrangements for 18-34 year olds. I'm PROUD I moved out at age 18, almost 400 miles away from my home town. College was not for me, but I was highly motivated to get a job, and I had one within a week.<br /><br />I lived with roommates from age 18 to 22. It was difficult at times, but I supported myself 100%. I had my own health insurance (through work), unlike most others my age that were sucking off their parents' insurance until the cutoff age. At 22, I finally was able to get a studio apartment on my own, enjoying the freedom and accomplishment that I knew I achieved myself. <br /><br />I'm glad I was raised by parents who prepared me for adulthood and did not force me into college. I love my independence and credit my maturity to that, even though I'm only 24 years old. I hope more young people will get out on their own to feel what it's like to support themselves. <br /><br />Selena<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2016-06-06T17:59:00Z
I Have No Regrets
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Have-No-Regrets/495311029864383326.html
2016-06-03T17:59:00Z
2016-06-03T17:59:00Z
<br />I graduated from college with an engineering degree and planning on having a wonderful career. That was 22 years ago, and it was a big deal to be a woman engineer. I was also 5 months pregnant at the time. As I felt the baby move inside me, the thoughts of putting him in day care with tired, overworked employees made me sick. The thought of someone else taking care of my little baby who I knew I'd love more than life itself didn't sit well with me. So my husband and I made the tough decision to let me be a stay-at-home mom. <br /><br />We both had student loans to pay off and now only one income. But for twenty two years, I've been able to be with my FOUR children for hours on end taking care of them, guiding them, and teaching them with the love only a mom can provide. After all this time I still occasionally think about what my income could have bought, and the accolades I could have received being one of the only female engineers at the time. I see many moms who get a lot of glory because they work outside the home, but they have no idea what they have missed, and they never will. I, on the other hand, have only missed out on a bigger house and nicer car. I have no regrets.<br /><br />Giselle<br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2016-06-03T17:59:00Z
Survival of Singles
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Survival-of-Singles/883146815161660791.html
2016-06-02T17:59:00Z
2016-06-02T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I think we really need young people to learn basic things about money, finances, and credit as they're growing up. They need to know how to budget, spend less than they make, avoid borrowing (as much as possible), and how to save or invest.<br /><br />Parents should be teaching these things to their children from a young age (with age-appropriate learning, of course), yet so many kids grow up without ever having an understanding of these topics.<br /><br />When I was in high school, I took a very practical elective class called "<em>Survival of Singles</em>." It taught us things like basic kitchen safety, how to get maintenance for your automobile without getting ripped off, how to critically evaluate advertising claims, how to use banks, checking and credit, and even how to rent an apartment or apply successfully for a job. I'm not sure public schools teach things like this anymore, but If you weren't taught this by your parents, I encourage young adults to find night classes or online classes in which they can learn these skills. I learned a lot of life lessons in that class that have served me well over the years!<br /><br />Ken <br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2016-06-02T17:59:00Z
I Didn't Think It Was A Big Deal, I Was Wrong
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Didnt-Think-It-Was-A-Big-Deal,-I-Was-Wrong/35333867571449916.html
2016-06-01T17:59:00Z
2016-06-01T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I called you several months ago with a dilemma: should I have lunch with an attractive, single female former co-worker, 20 years my junior, who I had mentored for several years, and if so, should I tell my wife about it? I was certain that nothing inappropriate would happen, but you said it would have the appearance of impropriety, and instead suggested that I tell my wife and the two of us take the former co-worker out to lunch.I took your advice, but my wife was not at all receptive to the idea and instead suggested I catch up with the co-worker over the phone, which I did. <br /><br />Frankly, I was taken aback by my wife's negative reaction - we have been married for 27 years without any hint of infidelity on either of our parts - and I did not think going to lunch was a big deal. Until I talked to my wife, I did not fully understand how hurt and angry she would have been had I gone to lunch and then she found out later. By following your advice, I avoided making a very damaging mistake and hurting my wife which I would never want to do.<br /><br />Thanks, Dr. Laura, for really saving my butt!<br /><br />Sebastian<br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2016-06-01T17:59:00Z
What Do You Do For a Living?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Do-You-Do-For-a-Living/793625163188561148.html
2016-05-31T17:59:00Z
2016-05-31T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My soon-to-be-graduating high school senior came home from her last day of school, and I was HERE at home in the role that I have had the privilege of being in for the past 17 years. I was able to sit down with her and reminisce on her journey thus far in school and in life. I wanted to thank you for making my job title of <strong>Stay-at-Home Mom</strong> all these years a title that I am proud to say when people ask me "What do you do for a living?"<br /><br />I was here for my daughter every day after school from kindergarten until this morning - her final day in high school. I cherish all the field trips, all the volunteering at school, and the countless hours I have spent in the parent "pick up" loop, listening to your wisdom while I waited for her. She will be 18 years old this week, and although I have shed some tears today, I know that I haven't missed a single moment along her journey, and I would not have traded that experience for the world. Thank you, Dr. Laura!<br /><br />Suzanne<br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2016-05-31T17:59:00Z
They Learn What We Teach Them
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/They-Learn-What-We-Teach-Them/-856303384966819438.html
2016-05-26T17:59:00Z
2016-05-26T17:59:00Z
<br /><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />It's important that we teach our teenage children the value of hard work, dependability, a good work ethic, punctuality, and how to budget (their money and their time).<br /><br />My son plans on getting a part-time job when he turns 16. We've already talked with him about spending only a portion of his earnings and putting the rest in a savings account. We've also reminded him to clean up after himself so he "earns his keep." Honestly, for a while, I was worried that my son would live in a pig sty when he lives on his own! Now I know I won't have to worry. He got tired of living in a "trashy" room (and I resisted the urge to clean up after him), so he's finally started to keep it nice. We made sure to praise him for his efforts (especially since he took the initiative himself without our nagging him). <br /><br />They learn what we teach them, even if some of those lessons are hard-earned. I'm grateful to have a husband who is my co-captain, and we present a united front to our son as we help him find his way.. Thank you for always reminding us that we're PARENTS (not friends) and our job is to prepare them for the world at large.<br /><br />Layla<br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2016-05-26T17:59:00Z
Separated at Birth
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Separated-at-Birth/-244159664959322208.html
2016-05-25T17:59:00Z
2016-05-25T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />We have an uncanny number of similarities when it comes to tastes and hobbies. I ride motorcycles, I make jewelry, I have a black belt in martial arts, and I nearly fell over when I saw a photo of your muscle car, because I have a black and red Challenger! If you think you might have misplaced a daughter at some point, let me know!<br /><br />I've been married for 13 years, and we have one child. We're a military family, and my husband has gone to battle, been shot at, and landed jets on an aircraft carrier too many times to count, in order to make sure we're safe and provided for at home. Recently he was in a "mood" (he does that occasionally), and I remembered a comment you'd made that day about using "feminine wiles" to get what we want out of our men. I sat on the couch, patted the seat for him to come lay down next to me and put his head in my lap. I started giving him a scalp massage (his absolute favorite thing). After about 15 seconds, his mood brightened, he looked me square in the eye and said "you're officially the most intelligent woman in the universe." It's just what he needed and one of the best compliments I've ever received.<br /><br />Thank you for being a daily reminder to use my feminine charms, exercise compassion, create a happy home and make sure my husband is grateful every day that he married me.<br /><br />Holly <br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2016-05-25T17:59:00Z
I Want to 'Grow up' to Be Like Her
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Want-to-Grow-up-to-Be-Like-Her/-940993076381066731.html
2016-05-24T17:59:00Z
2016-05-24T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />It wasn't until I had children that I realized the kind of mom/mother-in-law and grandma I really wanted to be. And that is to be just like my mother-in-law. Unfortunately, my mother was not the role model for us kids that we had hoped for, but my mother-in-law is!<br /><br />I call her "mom," and she's cheerful and interested in other people. I call my biological mother several times a month to see how she is, but I call my "mom" whenever I have something to share. She is a happy 89 year old, and while she has the same kinds of age-related aches, pains, and worries as my real mother, she has a completely different mindset. I'm taking notes, as I want to "grow up" to be like her. <br /><br />One of the reasons I love her is because she raised a wonderful son to whom I've been married for 37 years. I am very lucky to have her in my life, and thank you for helping me realize that it was time to let her know how special she is.<br /><br />A very grateful daughter-in-law,<br /><br />Dora <br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2016-05-24T17:59:00Z
Happy Wife, Happy Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Happy-Wife,-Happy-Life/937125064091547606.html
2016-05-23T17:59:00Z
2016-05-23T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I love my wife to bits. She makes me feel important, she appreciates everything I do, and most importantly, she never takes advantage of me. I've listened to the callers who are frustrated with their wives or husbands. I'm a living, breathing example that there IS a better life; they just have to do something to change what it is that they're doing.<br /><br />I know both sides of this story as I was married to a woman for 34 years, and I put up with plenty. Now, I'm married for the second time (11 years) and it's an entirely different story. Her whole focus is to make me happy, and so mine is to make HER happy. I'm not a pushover, but I know what I want and together we make a wonderful relationship work. She has her own opinions, but not her own truths. <br /><br />Bottom line? Once a guy learns the benefits of having a happy wife, he will have a happy life and things get a whole lot easier. It's that simple!<br /><br />Wayne <br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2016-05-23T17:59:00Z
To the Gorgeous Woman Going After My Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/To-the-Gorgeous-Woman-Going-After-My-Husband/-388612233920124161.html
2016-05-20T17:59:00Z
2016-05-20T17:59:00Z
<br />A woman of my acquaintance is paying a lot of attention to my husband, so I've written a letter to her (so far unsent) that explains it all. I wanted to share it with you and your listeners:<br /><br /><em>To the gorgeous woman going after my husband:</em><br /><br /><em>I realize that the hunk I've been married to for 14 years has it all. He's handsome, he's "built" and he's got a great smile. He's great with kids, because he's learned from 13 years of being a dad what works and how to roll with it when it doesn't. He's not perfect, but he's definitely a "catch." I, on the other hand, have a stoop in my shoulders, premature wrinkles and bags under my eyes. I have several physical deficiencies that most couples our age don't have to deal with. Does it sound like he got a raw deal? Well, none of that matters because we originally chose each other, and we choose each other again and again every single day.</em><br /><br /><em>I know he's one in a million, and I treat him that way every day. I speak to him and of him like the good man he is. And he works harder, achieves more, and becomes even more alluring to other women because of it. I do find YOUR behavior annoying, but I'm not worried about what HE'LL do. You ARE very beautiful with a fully functioning body, but there is no contest. He only has eyes for li'l old me. So I suggest you take that energy and focus on your own husband. Flip your hair HIS way, drop your voice seductively and whisper in HIS ear. If it works so well for me, imagine the romance YOU could have. And if you continue to ignore your husband, imagine the romance he could have without you, beautiful as you are.</em><br /><br />Thanks Dr. Laura for teaching me how to be happy and make this amazing man of mine happy too! <br /><br />Tabitha <br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2016-05-20T17:59:00Z
Because of You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Because-of-You/-837701836846822158.html
2016-05-19T17:59:00Z
2016-05-19T17:59:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura!<br /><br />Because of you, I'm now home with my 2 year old daughter, and enjoying every second of it. When she was born, I dreaded returning to work. My husband had always supported me staying home, but I had grown up with the belief that women HAD to work. Eventually, I left my full-time job for a part-time one with the thought that it would make me happy. It didn't. I knew what I really wanted was to spend every day with my daughter.<br /><br />After listening to your show repeatedly and reading "In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms," I found the courage to go against what felt wrong to me, and quit working. Now I get to see my daughter discovering, learning, and growing, and I get to be there for everything. It amazes me that every day she seems to say at least five new words, and I'm there for every milestone. My daughter is happy. Even though I'm not the best cook, my husband appreciates my efforts, and he's happier coming home to a home-cooked meal. And on top of all that, I'M the happiest I've ever been. Thank you for consistently supporting stay-at-home moms. You've changed my life and I'm eternally grateful.<br /><br />Bonnie<br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2016-05-19T17:59:00Z
Looking In All The Wrong Places For Prince Charming
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Looking-In-All-The-Wrong-Places-For-Prince-Charming/242435989182878825.html
2016-05-18T17:59:00Z
2016-05-18T17:59:00Z
<br /><br /><br />My online dating profile used to be carefully composed with a clever headline that perfectly matched my flirty profile picture. My description listed all the "wow" factors I could think of while briskly skipping over the less desirable ones (including that I was living paycheck to paycheck, unable to keep a job past the probation period, or that I had a past with drugs and depression which left me with an STD). <br /><br />No - I was in a hurry, hounded by the fear of getting older and still being single. So from age 37 - 43, I juggled THREE online dating services at the same time. I was determined! But I finally realized that meeting people this way was very artificial. Most of them (myself included) were liars. We were fake, insecure hopefuls with voids to fill. It's a playground for con artists, ex-cons, criminals and liars. And they are not unattractive. Some of the most dangerous situations from online dates I found myself in were with good looking guys in my 30-45 age range. In the seven years I did this, I never got a prince. I got frogs who had insatiable appetites for sexting and getting between the sheets!<br /><br />Looking back, I'm horrified at the risks I took just to curb my loneliness. Internet dating is like pesticides on fruit - you can't see the artificial chemicals even though you know they're there. Everything looks good, and hey, you want peaches NOW! You choose the pesticide-riddled peach because it's better than nothing. <br /><br />I finally decided to be celibate. It's been over three years, and the next time I go on a date, it will be with someone I met "organically." I've come to realize I'm really an old-fashioned girl after all.<br /><br />Mattie<br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2016-05-18T17:59:00Z
I'm Not A Weenie
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Not-A-Weenie/-958144660667436089.html
2016-05-17T17:59:00Z
2016-05-17T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura!<br /><br />I have to thank you for saving me. I am 32 years old and found you a year ago. I've spent hours listening, crying, laughing and most importantly learning. <br /><br />When I discovered your program, I was seeing a counselor twice a week and was taking a high level anti-depressant. Since then, I've stopped going to counseling, stopped taking my anti-depressant, changed my career, and cut people out of my life who were hurting me. I am, as you would say, no longer a "weenie."<br /><br />Now I don't spend hours analyzing men, situations, or how to handle conflict, because you have taught me so much. You've given me the confidence to make changes and stand firm in what I believe in. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for using your life to help others. You have made a profound difference in my life, and I am forever grateful. I'm very certain my future husband and children will be grateful as well.<br /><br />Katy <br /><br />
Staff
2016-05-17T17:59:00Z
To Serve My Country Or My Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/To-Serve-My-Country-Or-My-Family/-246731341833030579.html
2016-05-16T17:59:00Z
2016-05-16T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />About a year ago, I started struggling with the decision whether to stay in the military, or separate and focus on my family. After listening to you and reading "In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms," I decided that the best option for my husband, our daughter and myself was to leave the military and become a stay-at-home mom. It was the best decision I ever made!<br /><br />I served ten years as a military aviator, deploying to Iraq and Afghanistan, but now I'm serving my family. I thought I could "have it all," but spending one year working full time and realizing that I was only spending about two hours with my daughter and husband per day was just not cutting it for me. You can't have it all, and it's always the family that sacrifices. <br /><br />I am my husband's girlfriend and my kid's mom, and I love every single minute of it.Thank you!<br /><br />Carmen<br />
Staff
2016-05-16T17:59:00Z
The Whispers In My Ears
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Whispers-In-My-Ears/777614505353171665.html
2016-05-12T17:59:00Z
2016-05-12T17:59:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Thank you for putting a moral compass back in my brain. In my early twenties, I used to listen to you every single day. I loved your straightforward, honest and simple advice. Then I stopped listening for a few years. Two years ago, I married a good man, and we ended up getting pregnant on our honeymoon.<br /><br />I fully expected to go back to work after we had our baby, so I started meeting with babysitters and day care places. It was not a good experience - I came home crying, imagining someone else raising my child. But one day, my husband asked "why don't you stay home with the baby? That's what I'd prefer, but I didn't want to pressure you, because I wanted it to be YOUR choice." All of a sudden, your voice rang through my ears in a very light whisper to "do the right thing."<br /><br />And so I did, Dr. Laura. I'm a proud stay-at-home mom. It's been harder than I could ever have expected, but worth every minute. And every time I hear my friends talking about their successful careers and I catch myself getting jealous of missing work, I quickly remind myself that I have the most important job in the world - being my kid's mom.<br /><br />Thank you for saving me. I will always have your voice in the back of my head whispering to me.<br /><br />Your favorite listener,<br /><br />Chrystal<br />
Staff
2016-05-12T17:59:00Z
The Best Gift I Could Have Gotten
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Best-Gift-I-Could-Have-Gotten/79297715266275139.html
2016-05-11T17:59:00Z
2016-05-11T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've been listening to you for 20 years. It's because of the example my mom showed us as a stay-at-home mom and your support of stay-at-home moms that (even after getting my graduate degree), I'm at home with my daughter. In addition, because of you, I married a "real man." <br /><br />Although we've had some financial difficulties, my husband has told me that I will continue to stay home with our child. He said "what you do here is more important than any money you would bring in." This brings me to today. It's my birthday, and my 12 year old daughter made me two envelopes: "22 Reasons I love you," and "22 mom coupons." The reasons she loves me are all a reflection of the time I've been home with her, like "you are always there when I need you," and my favorite..."not letting me be too smart-alecky." The Mom Coupons had things like "walking the dog (but only good for five uses!), a night of cuddles, and hugs (which could be used 50 times). This was the best gift I could have gotten.<br /><br />Thank you for making us tow the line, and not letting us moms take the easy way out. There really is nothing more rewarding than being able to say "I am my kid's mom!"<br /><br />Audra <br />
Staff
2016-05-11T17:59:00Z
Life Isn't Easy for Anyone
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Life-Isnt-Easy-for-Anyone/-335051698248918975.html
2016-05-10T17:59:00Z
2016-05-10T17:59:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I guess I should be one of those sad stories you hear all the time. My mom had me when she was 15. My dad gave up his parental rights because he was a loser. I was raised by a bipolar grandmother and a drunk grandfather.<br /><br />In three days, I will have been married for 20 years to a wonderful man who adores me and our daughter. I had a good career until we decided I would stay home with our child. Our daughter is creative and wise beyond her years. <br /><br />I've always said I'm the type of person who learns from other people's mistakes (although I make plenty of my own too). I started listening to you when I was 22 years old back in 1996. Your advice has helped me make the tough decisions in my life, and yet also reminded me that I made the right ones. Life isn't easy for anyone. We have to use common sense, have gratitude, and teach others by our example. Thank you for teaching me all of that!<br /><br />With much gratitude,<br /><br />Charity<br /><br />
Staff
2016-05-10T17:59:00Z
Leaving the Boy and Finding the Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Leaving-the-Boy-and-Finding-the-Man/-980195024955105537.html
2016-05-09T17:59:00Z
2016-05-09T17:59:00Z
<br />I dated a guy from the time I was 15 until I was 23 years old. I was not going to have sex until we married, but I did at 18 because I just "<em>knew</em>" that he LOVED me! I was special!<br /><br />We got engaged when I was 21. I'd listen to your show and you made me mad! You pointed out countless times to other callers why it was a bad idea to be this young and planning marriage. I thought you were SO wrong! But deep inside I knew this BOY didn't really love me - I was creating a fantasy for myself. I finally broke up with him, and that's when I found out he was sleeping with multiple women the entire time - so I put up with eight years of lies and deception and didn't even know it. <br /><br />Fast forward, and I ended up dating a MAN. We got married, bought a house and are now expecting our first child. At 28, I know I have many more years to learn about life, but leaving that BOY and finding a MAN has made all the difference. My husband has been amazing through my pregnancy (and I've been very sick through it). He rubs my back, holds my hand, and tells me how strong I am. The "boy" TOLD me he loved me, but my husband SHOWS me he loves me every day. <br /><br />Thank you for telling young girls the truth, even though they may not believe you right away. Your voice and words ran deep in my mind, and I'd play them back over and over until I got the courage to break up and find someone who was more than I could have imagined. Your words make a difference, even if we act like we're not listening!<br /><br />Amber <br /><br />
Staff
2016-05-09T17:59:00Z
What Are We Teaching Our Daughters?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Are-We-Teaching-Our-Daughters/-503428942028712424.html
2016-05-06T17:59:00Z
2016-05-06T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When I was growing up, I thought a guy had to be successful, responsible, and kind to attract women. He had to cultivate a healthy relationship with commitment before he could expect to get sexual with a woman. <br /><br />I graduated high school in the 1990's, and what I found in my wayward twenties was that I never had to be the one to make my relationships sexual. It was the women who were taking the lead at crossing those boundaries. Now, I wasn't objecting or fleeing their presence, but they actually tried to convince me they should move in with me. Although I had made a lot of mistakes, I wasn't going to make that one.<br /><br />These days, women and girls are still throwing themselves at guys who are strangers, and they're giving it up for a drink or even less. I can't help thinking "Mothers, what are you teaching your daughters?" Or on the other hand, mothers should teach their sons strong morals and values and have dads around to help guide them. With strong parenting on both sides, your son might be able to resist risky behavior with today's girls. <br /><br />Kyle <br />
Staff
2016-05-06T17:59:00Z
Thank you, Darlin'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-you,-Darlin/-367361104537128035.html
2016-05-05T17:59:00Z
2016-05-05T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Several years back, you inspired me to write the following to my wife for Mother's Day:<br />
<blockquote><em>Thank you, darlin' for being such a special mom. For taking such good care of our children. For all the time you've spent with them. For all the times you've fed them. For all the bruises you've healed for them, both physically and emotionally. For all the prayers you've said. For all the verses you've quoted. For the times you went to them to find out what was bugging them. For all the times you found out how I was bugging them! For all the times you reminded me to do something for them. For the times you encouraged them to do something for "dear old dad." <br /><br /></em><em>Thank you for being a woman of great character...for being a wonderful role model. For staying up late for them to get in or check in. For teaching them to be true to their word. For teaching them to be honest. For keeping the house clean and kept.<br /><br /></em><em>Thank you for loving me, and for teaching the kids to love me (even when I'm not always lovable). Thank you for your compassion and kindness and for your gentleness. Thank you for always lifting me up, and for always giving so much. Thank you for being selfless and sacrificing for your family. Thank you for raising two wonderful children. Happy Mother's Day! I love you darling.</em></blockquote>
<br />By the way, Dr. Laura - we are still married and planning our fortieth wedding anniversary!<br /><br />Larry<br /><br />
Staff
2016-05-05T17:59:00Z
The Importance of Mothers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-of-Mothers/-331959498282021547.html
2016-05-03T19:15:00Z
2016-05-03T19:15:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I often hear how mothers are going back to work right after their 3 month maternity leave is over because they "have no other option." I hear my friends complaining how they HAVE to work and all their kids are in daycare from day 1. I've also noticed they drive luxury cars and have million-dollar homes and they often go out to eat and travel a lot, staying in nice hotels.<br /><br />I get asked if my 3-year-old has started pre-school yet, because it's important for kids to learn their numbers, colors and shapes before kindergarten. My 3-year-old has been home with me from birth and already knew all his numbers, colors and shapes by two years old. He even surprises people at the grocery store when he yells out "octagon" and "pentagon" shapes he notices. People think he's some kind of genius, but all he's done is be the child of a stay-at-home mom who loves and nurtures him. We fill our days reading, going for walks and doing fun activities, but I still get told he "needs" to go to pre-school. <br /><br />Thank you for speaking out against this insanity, and for the how important it is for mothers to be home with their infants and small children. And as you consistently point out, there is always a way to live on one income if you really want to.<br /><br />Joanna<br /><br />
Staff
2016-05-03T19:15:00Z
Happiness Inventory
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Happiness-Inventory/946398639207587695.html
2016-05-02T17:59:00Z
2016-05-02T17:59:00Z
<br />A year ago, I was bitter and mean to my husband. I resented that he made little money as a Ph.D. student, and I blamed him for the state of my life, which I thought was NOT the kind of life a woman in her early 30s should be living. Then I read "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000FC1PIO/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?ie=UTF8&btkr=1" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a>" and "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Stop-Whining-Start-Living-Paperback/dp/B0033GOFFY/ref=sr_1_cc_2?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1462224511&sr=1-2-catcorr&keywords=Stop+Whining%2C+Start+Living" target="_blank">Stop Whining, Start Living</a>," and I took an inventory of all I have to be thankful for. Our financial situation was the natural result of us both deciding he should get his degree. I decided to quit complaining, and do something about it. I started a small, but profitable, copywriting business. We struggle a lot less, and I have an enjoyable, flexible job that allows me to be a stay-at-home mom.<br /><br />We had a baby recently, and my husband took care of the house and shouldered everything else while I recovered. I didn't criticize him when he did things differently from how I would do them. He said it was a wonderful chance to show his love for me and our family, and I got to see what a hardworking, caring man I married. <br /><br />I use to envy other women their seemingly perfect husbands. Now I look at MY husband and realize I could never have a better man. Thank you for helping me see this in him!<br /><br />Sarita<br />
Staff
2016-05-02T17:59:00Z
Lesson Learned
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lesson-Learned/-640660317958335277.html
2016-04-29T17:59:00Z
2016-04-29T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When our daughter was about three years old, she found some condoms in my nightstand drawer. She went into the other room and asked her Daddy what they were. Daddy was speechless and told her to go ask Mommy.<br /><br />When she asked me, I explained to her that those were for Mommy and Daddy when they kiss a lot. She marched back to her Daddy and told him "Daddy, these are called 'kiss-a-lots."<br /><br />Lesson learned - answer their questions with age-appropriate answers!<br /><br />Joan <br />
Staff
2016-04-29T17:59:00Z
A New Tradition
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-New-Tradition/-990873173497751750.html
2016-04-28T17:59:00Z
2016-04-28T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm a happily married Army wife with two kind boys. <br /><br />After listening to you for many years, I know it's my job to make my husband want to come home to his family every day. So when he gets home, I send the boys off to play for at least 30 minutes, while my husband and I sit down so he can tell me all about his day. When I don't take the time to do this, he is more stressed and irritable all night. When I make it a point every day to take this time and really listen, he is more relaxed and happy to be home. This has become a tradition in our home.<br /><br />Thank you for reminding us that we wives are the main key to keeping our husbands happy and that even a little tradition like this can go a long way. I'll never stop listening to you. Thank you for all you've taught me over the years.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Jenni<br />
Staff
2016-04-28T17:59:00Z
Little 'Lightbulb' Moments
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Little-Lightbulb-Moments/936311179185722355.html
2016-04-27T17:59:00Z
2016-04-27T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />At 26 years old, I started to freak out because I thought I had to be on a certain timeline for marriage and motherhood in order to be a real woman. I had a boyfriend, but I'm glad I stepped on the brakes after listening to you. <br /><br />A year later, he and I are still together, living separately and truly getting to know each other deeply. We've discussed what our parenting and disciplinary styles would be when that time comes. We discuss finances, life goals and have a "relationship check-up" once a month to see if anything has changed or if we have any concerns with each other. It's very rewarding to know we've covered all the potential struggles or issues we can think of and have "worked them out" (at least in our conversations).<br /><br />I found that he even respects me more because of the way we are behaving, and he's told me he's motivated knowing he will be the one to put a ring on my finger and then live together in a real home. And I, in turn, respect him for being the man he is and who is continuing to become. <br /><br />Thanks for all your wisdom, as well as the jaw-dropping comments, the laughs and all those little "lightbulb" moments.<br /><br />Frederica <br />
Staff
2016-04-27T17:59:00Z
Helping Us Do The Right Thing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Helping-Us-Do-The-Right-Thing/-581445198072907356.html
2016-04-26T17:59:00Z
2016-04-26T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've been married for 14 years, and my husband and I have a 9 year old daughter and a 5 year old son. My daughter "earned" an iPod Touch, which we proudly gave her at Christmas, but we quickly saw her inquisitive and adventurous personality disappear as she was consumed with messaging her 9 year old friend. We took the iPod away since she didn't follow our rules for using it, but she found it where we had hidden it.<br /><br />Then I heard you talking to a parent on the air saying that they were responsible for their kid's behavior with a cell phone and they should never have had it in the first place. It was my "aha" moment, which I shared with my husband, and we agreed the iPod Touch was toast. <br /><br />We discussed it with our daughter, and she actually said it would probably be better for her NOT to have it. She handed it over to us and said "I'm so mad at myself - I wasted three days of my school break on that silly thing!" A week later, our adventurous daughter is back - climbing trees, reading books and engaging with the family. We scratch our heads now to think that she "earned" such a device from us in the first place - what were we thinking??<br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura for your blunt words which have profoundly changed the dynamics in our family for the better. Thanks for helping us do the right thing.<br /><br />Dottie <br />
Staff
2016-04-26T17:59:00Z
The Most Valuable Thing I Own
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Most-Valuable-Thing-I-Own/-426626783635883180.html
2016-04-25T17:59:00Z
2016-04-25T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When my son was in a Catholic all-boys high school, the English teacher had the students write their mothers a letter telling her what she meant to them. I was amazed at what my son listed. <br /><br />He mentioned that he was thankful for the obvious things - washing his clothes and fixing his dinner. But he also wrote about the times when he was 4 years old and he and I would drive through McDonald's. We'd park in the lot and he'd come up front and sit in the passenger seat next to me, and we'd eat and talk about anything that was on his mind. Most of the time it was Pokemon or Digimon - I got to know all the characters by name and that was important to my son at age 4.<br /><br />Then he mentioned that I was the most spiritual person he knew and how that had a big impact on his life. He also wrote that I was the glue that held the family together. <br /><br />I wanted your stay-at-home mom listeners who might feel that they're not doing anything "meaningful" to know that they have the most important job in the world. Their kids will remember who was always there for them, and the little moments (like going to the drive through). My son is in college now, but I keep the original letter locked in my safe. That's because it's the most valuable thing that I own.<br /><br />Mary Ann <br />
Staff
2016-04-25T17:59:00Z
Help WAS What I Needed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Help-WAS-What-I-Needed/671241499668393724.html
2016-04-22T17:59:00Z
2016-04-22T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I learned the hard way that it's okay to ask for help. Back in December, I was leaving the doctor's office after being diagnosed with pneumonia, and I had a coughing fit so bad that I couldn't catch my breath. I even started thinking that I might need oxygen!<br /><br />I didn't need oxygen, but I felt a bit wobbly, so I started looking for a security officer who could give me a ride to my car. In the process of looking and feeling very embarrassed about asking for help, another patient reminded me not to be afraid to ask, since we have all needed help at some point. <br /><br />She was right. Help WAS what I needed. The security officer I found was more than kind escorting me to my car. I was able to drive home with no incident. I'm glad I "heard" that other patient and thankful that I asked for assistance rather than putting myself in danger.<br /><br />Laurie <br />
Staff
2016-04-22T17:59:00Z
The Power of a Smile
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Power-of-a-Smile/167256674129287653.html
2016-04-20T17:59:00Z
2016-04-20T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My mother always stressed to her kids the power of a smile and the importance of not turning your back when you see someone being bullied. <br /><br />When I was in middle school, I witnessed a teacher seriously bully a classmate with Tourette's syndrome. I asked the teacher to stop, but was told by that teacher that my classmate didn't need anyone to defend her! The abuse continued, so I took it up with my mom, who accompanied me to the principal's office and stood by my side as I recounted what my classmate had endured. Things changed at the school, and my classmate then had at least one class she could attend in peace.<br /><br />Recently, my mom reminded me how proud she was of me that day. She pointed out that we may never know what else a person endures, but we shouldn't be the one to turn away. I'm still taking her advice all these years later.<br /><br />Stella<br />
Staff
2016-04-20T17:59:00Z
Your Words of Wisdom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Your-Words-of-Wisdom/205139562568865966.html
2016-04-19T17:59:00Z
2016-04-19T17:59:00Z
<br />22 years ago, my husband and I had twins. At the time, we also had a 2 year old son, a 9 year old son, and an 11 year old daughter. My husband's 15 year old niece was also living with us for a year. Two weeks before I gave birth, we moved across the country into an apartment while we were waiting for our new house to be finished. <br /><br />I had no help. My mother had passed away years before, and everyone else was hundreds of miles away. Some people encouraged me to put my youngest children in day care so I could catch a break, but another friend suggested I start listening to your radio program, which I did. Because of that, all my kids stayed home with me, and the youngest went to school when they were the correct age to do so. Fast forward, and my daughter and two oldest sons have graduated college, and the twins are at the top of their class in their last year of college. All are trustworthy, wonderful individuals.<br /><br />Thank you for the encouragement when I needed it most. And your words of wisdom also enabled us to have a great marriage and we're still going strong all these years later.<br /><br />Jane<br />
Staff
2016-04-19T17:59:00Z
No Excuses
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-Excuses/96671258917198709.html
2016-04-18T17:59:00Z
2016-04-18T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When my husband and I married 21 years ago, we both agreed which actions would cause an immediate end to the marriage, because they'd break our covenant. They were criminality and cheating. There would be no excuses, no second chances, no "I didn't know what I was doing" or "I made a mistake" (we both agreed that cheating isn't a "mistake" but a deliberate act). We also agreed that if we weren't pleased about how we were being treated by the other, we'd talk it out and rectify it. We recognized that there might be times when one or both of us would be busy and forget to be each other's boyfriend or girlfriend, and when that happened, we'd let each other know in a kind way. <br /><br />Over the 21 years, he's called me on my "stuff" six times, and I've called him out three. We figured this was a way to avoid a buildup of garbage that could morph into real manure! So we've kept our barn clean and we're two happy partners in a good marriage.<br /><br />I'm also proud to say that if he was in a room full of naked supermodels, he'd be looking only for me, and I'd do the same for him if the room were filled with hunky men!<br /><br />Dory<br />
Staff
2016-04-18T17:59:00Z
Developing Good Habits
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Developing-Good-Habits/917938934886695655.html
2016-04-15T17:59:00Z
2016-04-15T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm 42 and a divorced mother of two teenagers. I've followed your advice regarding being there for my kids and not jumping into relationships. I've seen my ex-husband do the opposite and he's made a mess of his life. Unfortunately, our children have had to deal with his bad decisions.<br /><br />During all this time, I've developed a habit of "self-talk" to help guide me make the right choices. I hear you in my head, but I talk out loud to myself to weigh all the pros and cons. While my kids sometimes make fun of me, they know it helps, and they've seen the results of my "conversations." <br /><br />Thank you for always giving great advice. My kids are now 17 and 13, and because of you I work daily to keep putting them first.<br /><br />Alice<br />
Staff
2016-04-15T17:59:00Z
The Value in Your Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Value-in-Your-Husband/300861283145349958.html
2016-04-14T17:59:00Z
2016-04-14T17:59:00Z
<br />I'm married to a wonderful man, father to our four children, and devoted provider to us all so I can stay at home. There are days, however, when I feel exhausted, unappreciated and tired. I get overwhelmed with homework, school events, PTA activities, sports and the general needs of four growing and active kids. Sometimes I can even get resentful. No one thanks me for bringing dinner to the soccer field and picking up dry cleaning while eating in my car. No one mentions that I don't have days off or how vacations run smoothly because I plan, pack, clean and organize. <br /><br />My own sweet, tired husband works long days and comes home without noticing the house is clean or dinner has been waiting. But I had an epiphany before I became bitter - I realized when I was feeling sorry for myself that I can't remember the last time I thanked my HUSBAND for paying the mortgage, or racing to Boy Scouts after a ten hour day or a lot more. So I sent him a text thanking him for working so hard to give us this life, and for coming home every day, tired but with purpose, worn out but gracious. I told him I was more in love with him now than I ever was in the days before I knew what kind of man he really was. He responded simply "I can do what I do, because of what YOU do for our family." My heart melted.<br /><br />Yes, I can still be tired and have tough days and feel undervalued and unappreciated, but I can turn it around and find the value in him, which turns back so I can find the value in me.<br /><br />Dawn <br />
Staff
2016-04-14T17:59:00Z
I'm More Careful About Picking Friends
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-More-Careful-About-Picking-Friends/793608572266586923.html
2016-04-13T17:59:00Z
2016-04-13T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My best friend of several years had an extremely "off-kilter" personality. Things that would typically bother someone didn't bother her (and that contributed to her rudeness), and things that typically didn't bother others drove her nuts. I became the "referee" for others, since I seemed to be the only one who could tell when she was about to "blow."<br /><br />She was nice and generous, but sharing a friendship with her always came on HER terms. She called the shots and made the rules. One "girls' night out," we couldn't agree on a movie to see, and I had an overwhelming sense of "I've had it." I just said goodbye, got in my car and drove away. She emailed me saying she knew I'd get over it, but I never looked back.<br /><br />My husband commented a few weeks later that he was glad she and I were no longer friends, as I wasn't stressed out anymore. I didn't realize how toxic that friendship was until I was no longer in it. I had allowed her selfishness to dictate our friendship. I'm now more careful about who I let into my life, and I'm a lot calmer since making that decision.<br /><br />Caroline<br />
Staff
2016-04-13T17:59:00Z
The Wisdom of Parents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Wisdom-of-Parents/-112897279273545371.html
2016-04-12T17:59:00Z
2016-04-12T17:59:00Z
<br /><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />It's my 22nd wedding anniversary today. I was married and divorced twice before my current marriage, and my husband was married and divorced once before our marriage. We had no kids from our previous marriages, and we have two daughters together.<br /><br />Our 20 year old daughter sent us this text today. She's graduating college this year and going to law school after that. She is an ethical, decent, loving, strong person, and much of that has to do with YOU because of the influence your life's work has had on us. Here's what she had to say:<br /><br />
<blockquote><em>Happy Anniversary! Thank you for working hard in your marriage. You both have taught me what a true team looks like regardless of how hard it is. You've made me into the young woman I am today and I greatly appreciate it. Thank you for raising me to do the right thing regardless of what others think or want. I love you and hope you have a fabulous day together.</em></blockquote>
<br />She and her sister listened to you as I did when I was home with them growing up. When I went to work, their Dad was home with them. She gives us the credit in this text, but she knows, as I do, that the wisdom she gained was delivered to me by YOU, Dr. Laura. Thank you!<br /><br />Nilda<br />
Staff
2016-04-12T17:59:00Z
The Facts of Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Facts-of-Life/-907181499173480192.html
2016-04-11T17:59:00Z
2016-04-11T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />The "facts of life" are often the most difficult subject for parents to talk about with their children.<br /><br />My parents didn't do a very good job of talking to me about this, but I had a special "teaching aid" to use with my son: we had a dog, and she had puppies. Our son was able to witness the miracle of birth at age 10, and we were able to explain that much of life unfolds in the same mysterious and wonderful way. He learned respect for life from that early experience, and I'm grateful we had the help of our family pet!<br /><br />Didi <br />
Staff
2016-04-11T17:59:00Z
Parenting Tips
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parenting-Tips/853879057040624030.html
2016-04-07T17:59:00Z
2016-04-07T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I have some experience at raising well-behaved kids, so here's what I've learned that I want to pass along:<br /><ol>
<li>Be kind. They need to be loved always. The words we speak to them are so important! They need our time, affection and approval.</li>
<br />
<li>Be an example. If we do it, they're just little "mirrors." If they're yelling and talking back, are YOU yelling or speaking "snarkily" to them?</li>
<br />
<li>Stop the bad behaviors and correct them. Give a firm scolding, an explanation of what they did wrong and what's appropriate, followed by a hug (not a reward, but they must know that you love them despite your having to correct them).</li>
<br />
<li>If there are persistent behavior issues, get to the root of them and adjust your tactics.</li>
<br />
<li>Be the parent! Just because they argue like a lawyer or won't stop, doesn't mean you have to give in to them. </li>
</ol><br />Thanks for the chance to share what's taken me years to figure out.<br /><br />Brianna<br /><br />
Staff
2016-04-07T17:59:00Z
Standing in Second Place
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Standing-in-Second-Place/-421441717493567442.html
2016-04-06T17:59:00Z
2016-04-06T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />For six years, I had a boyfriend who put me second to all of his hopes, plans and dreams. Then I met a man who begged me to go out with him so he could prove to me things could be different. Seven years later, we've been married for six years, have a house, two kids, and he has a military career. We'll still happily going strong.<br /><br />When I was still with the old boyfriend, I remember telling someone about coming second all the time. I heard myself qualifying that statement by saying "but he's really a great guy and he's good to me." The person I was talking to said "It sounds like you're trying to convince yourself." That realization made me open the door to my now husband. I am cherished and respected in my marriage. Thank you for teaching this to your listeners!<br /><br />Mary Jo<br /><br />
Staff
2016-04-06T17:59:00Z
My Moment of Insight
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Moment-of-Insight/406837520443534211.html
2016-04-05T17:59:00Z
2016-04-05T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I thought I'd share a story about how my husband and I handle any disagreements we have. When we aren't necessarily on the same page, I ask him how he thinks we should handle the situation and then tactfully communicate my take on it.<br /><br />Years ago, when we had a heated argument one time, he told me that I was always telling him what to do, and that I needed to stop that. While steam was coming out of my ears at the time, he really did cause me to reflect on my behavior. I didn't even realize that I was doing that until he said something and I stopped and thought about it. He's not one of my children, so I should not have talked to him like one.<br /><br />Since my moment of insight, we have not had any "screaming matches" in about eight years. Ours is now a peaceful and happy home, and that's reflected in our relationship.<br /><br />Lillian<br /><br />
Staff
2016-04-05T17:59:00Z
Phone Rules
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Phone-Rules/-751414627442253344.html
2016-04-04T17:59:00Z
2016-04-04T17:59:00Z
<br /><br /><br />My friends and family know that I do not look at my phone when I'm out with them. If I'm out with anyone and they keep looking at their phone, I say in a very sweet and loving way "You'll notice that I rarely look at my phone when I'm with you. This is because I value and treasure my time with you. Please show me the same respect. This usually nips it in the bud, and I seldom have to say or do anything else. <br /><br />But if they continue to look after I've said this, I'll gently touch their hand and repeat it. If they STILL continue to look at their phone (and they don't have a good reason for doing so), I'll say "I love you, but I won't tolerate disrespect. Please call me when you're ready to spend quality time together," and then I get up and leave! <br /><br />I've only had to resort to that tactic once. Now when I'm out with people I care about, we have better one-to-one communication and no unnecessary distractions. We have to be willing to let people know how we feel and then be willing to enforce it if they can't respect our wishes. <br /><br />Cheryl <br /><br />
Staff
2016-04-04T17:59:00Z
I'm Not Crazy, I'm a Good Wife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Not-Crazy,-Im-a-Good-Wife/779716117292159434.html
2016-04-01T17:59:00Z
2016-04-01T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />This past weekend, we had a few family members and friends come over to help us out as my wife and I get our house in order prior to our moving. The guys had a long day working on landscaping and being outside on our feet all day. When we were done, we came into the house exhausted, and flopped into chairs. Not a minute later, my wife came out and sat in front of my chair with a bottle of lotion. She took my socks off, and started to give me a foot massage. My friends almost fell out of THEIR chairs in shock. They thought she was crazy!<br /><br />They started giving her a hard time, and before I could respond, she said "I'm doing this because I appreciate all the hard work my husband does for my family. I'm not crazy - I'm a good wife!" I nodded with a smile. She's right, she knows it, and she's proud of it. My wife respects me, as I do her. I'm proud to say she's my girlfriend and I'm her man.<br /><br />That moment made me realize how good we really have it. My wife was just taking care of me and I would jump to do the same for her. As loyal listeners to your show, we've made great strides in our relationship because of your guidance (including that in your books too). Thanks for showing us what a real marriage should look like. I know my friends and family are envious of our "secret" to happiness.<br /><br />Aaron <br /><br /> <br /><br /><br />
Staff
2016-04-01T17:59:00Z
Keeping Busy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-Busy/387259696691015010.html
2016-03-31T17:59:00Z
2016-03-31T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My sister passed away this week. I felt that my world crumbled, as I thought of vivid memories of our childhood and our big sister conversations. I'm only 46 years old and this has completely shaken me. I cried day and night. I hugged my kids who stayed painfully silent the last few days. And then I heard your voice in my heart: keep busy; keep her memory alive by doing things you know she would have loved you to do - for her AND for you.<br /><br />So together with my kids, we're putting together a memory book about her. We've gone shopping for little things she loved and we'll put them in small bags and donate them to people who could use them. I finally smiled as I thought of her and said to myself "Don't worry about me - I'll be busy loving you for a long while."<br /><br />You've helped me go through the most difficult time in my life and I'm forever grateful to you. I hope that the good that you do for us every day will return to you a billion fold! <br /><br />Audrey<br /><br /> <br /><br /><br />
Staff
2016-03-31T17:59:00Z
My 'Better Half'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Better-Half/620139287894170371.html
2016-03-30T17:59:00Z
2016-03-30T17:59:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've been married for almost five years. My husband and I have a 20 month old and our second child is on the way. With this pregnancy, I've been exhausted at night and can barely stay awake past 8:30pm. <br /><br />Last night, after dinner, my husband was playing with our little girl in the living room while I watched from the couch. I dozed off, and when I woke up an hour later, I realized it was well past our daughter's bedtime. I went to find her and then realized my husband had taken care of her so I could sleep. He brushed her teeth, got her changed, read to her and sang to her, and put her to bed. <br /><br />Not only did he take care of our daughter, but when I walked into the kitchen, I found he had also cleared the kitchen table and loaded the dishwasher too. My heart melted. He had worked a nine hour day that day, and still he let ME rest. <br /><br />I always call him my "better half" and last night he yet again showed me how great a father and husband he is. <br /><br />Bonnie<br /><br /> <br /><br /><br />
Staff
2016-03-30T17:59:00Z
I Laugh, Every Single Time I Can
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Laugh,-Every-Single-Time-I-Can/-594339968376470811.html
2016-03-29T17:59:00Z
2016-03-29T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I have a very hearty laugh, like you do. When I was young, I was scolded by teachers who told me it was impolite as well as not very ladylike to laugh as I did. <br /><br />When my grandmother was on her deathbed, she told me that she had always loved my laugh, and that I laughed loudly and fully without worrying what others thought. She told me in her day, young ladies weren't allowed to laugh out loud. She also mentioned that there wasn't much to laugh about in her life, and she would have loved to be able to laugh like me. She made me promise that I would never change my laugh, nor silence it because of what others said. That was over 25 years ago. <br /><br />So, in her honor, I laugh....every single time I can. I laugh loudly, heartily, and I laugh every day. I laugh with my children, my grandchildren, and my husband and I laugh with each other every day. <br /><br />The world needs a lot more laughter. I will continue doing my part, and I hope you do the same!<br /><br />Chris<br /><br /> <br /><br /><br />
Staff
2016-03-29T17:59:00Z
Starting A New Chapter
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Starting-A-New-Chapter/-938779813106847586.html
2016-03-28T17:59:00Z
2016-03-28T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When I started listening to you, my life was pretty messed up. I was on my third marriage, and I had a 7-year-old child. Then I started listening and reading your books. You helped change my life.<br /><br />My third husband and I were married for 15 years and ran a business together. We had a beautiful marriage (with some help from you). Whenever we would travel, we would listen to you together. Unfortunately, my husband passed away last year unexpectedly. Then my mother and my father-in-law passed away months later. <br /><br />Obviously, this has been very hard for me, yet I am so thankful for having had so much time with all of them. My daughter now helps run the business with me and she is my joy. Thank you for helping me go on and start a new chapter in my life with a positive outlook.<br /><br />Melanie<br /><br /> <br /><br /><br />
Staff
2016-03-28T17:59:00Z
What Can I do Today to Make my Husband Happy?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Can-I-do-Today-to-Make-my-Husband-Happy/579736241534559875.html
2016-03-25T17:59:00Z
2016-03-25T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm a proud Army wife and a stay-at-home mom to two very kind boys. My marriage is better than it has ever been, because of you.<br /><br />I wake up every morning and look in the mirror and say out loud "what can I do today to make my husband happy that he is married and married to ME?" I didn't know it would change our marriage so dramatically. I think of at least one sweet thing to do for or with him each day. He has started paying more attention to me. He's been a lot more fun to be around. It has changed our good marriage into a great marriage. I did happen to choose wisely, and now he feels like he has chosen wisely as well.<br /><br />It's such a simple concept, but I would never have thought to do something like that without your guidance. Thank you for helping people like me to have happier and more fulfilling lives.<br /><br />Jennifer<br /><br /> <br /><br /><br />
Staff
2016-03-25T17:59:00Z
The Clarity That I Needed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Clarity-That-I-Needed/-39334057090064111.html
2016-03-24T17:59:00Z
2016-03-24T17:59:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm a stay-at-home mom of two children, ages 2 and 3. The past two years have been a struggle and I went into "survival" mode and didn't know how to end the cycle. <br /><br />I called you recently after my kids started getting into frequent fights. Your advice was simple, but powerful - <em>distraction</em>! It hit me like a ton of bricks. I needed to get out of survival mode and become the stay-at-home mom I wish I had had. Your advice gave me clarity on how I want to raise my kids, and I'm spending time on focusing and engaging. When I focused instead on endless lists and chores, my kids didn't have my full attention.<br /><br />Thank you for changing my thinking, which made me want to become a better mom. With me simply engaging in the moment, it has completely changed the tone of my home. <br /><br />Kellie<br /><br /> <br /><br /><br />
Staff
2016-03-24T17:59:00Z
I Should Be A Mommy First
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Should-Be-A-Mommy-First/-493221254990751880.html
2016-03-23T17:59:00Z
2016-03-23T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I used to listen to you when my mom had your show on in our car. I've made mistakes in my life since then, and wished I had read the books you wrote that my mom gave me!<br /><br />I'm now a single mom, and doing the best I can to take care of my son. I'm a Dr. Laura Family member and eagerly read your daily emails and listen as much as I can. I've noticed that the media has bombarded young women with messages that "we have needs too," and there are television shows that make sure to let us know that it's okay to go back to work or date because "we have needs too!" <br /><br />I get lonely sometimes, but I have your encouraging messages that I should be a mom first. Thank you for continuing to press us single moms to be unselfish and put our children's needs before our own. I need all the encouragement I can get, and you're always "in my head," reminding me to do the right thing. Thank you!<br /><br />Allie<br /><br /> <br /><br /><br />
Staff
2016-03-23T17:59:00Z
Having You 'In My Ears'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Having-You-In-My-Ears/-943208764837532953.html
2016-03-22T17:59:00Z
2016-03-22T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm about to run my second marathon, On all my training runs, I listen to your podcast. Today I ran my longest run (20 miles) in preparation and I listened to you straight for close to three hours. I'm even planning to have you "in my ears" when I run the actual marathon!<br /><br />It's inspiring to hear some of the callers' stories. I can relate to them at times, but at other times I laugh out loud when I hear how silly some people can be. But I always appreciate your straightforward comments. <br /><br />I feel like I'm not only training my body to endure this marathon, but I'm also training my mind with wisdom and sound advice. Keep inspiring us all to do what's right!<br /><br />And, of course, thank you for accompanying me during my hours and hours of running.<br /><br />Kim<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2016-03-22T17:59:00Z
Plug OUT & Play!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Plug-OUT--Play!/48302567467052491.html
2016-03-21T17:59:00Z
2016-03-21T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I've worked in choreography for over 30 years (working with everyone from kids to elite athletes). For several years, I've talked about my belief in the theory of "physical dyslexia" - where the child may read and write correctly, but they're turned around when it comes to physical orientation and spatial awareness. Through the years, when I was demonstrating a move for a group to go to the right, inevitably there would be one or two children going left. Now, when I teach a group, up to a THIRD of the participants go in the wrong direction. I think more kids are operating in a world with no sense of direction because they're manipulating characters on a phone or tablet instead of experiencing it themselves. When they move their finger to the left, they move the character on the screen to the right.<br /><br />These kids haven't played hopscotch or been on a seesaw. They seem to have no idea how to mimic physical movement. Just recently I worked with a group of high-achieving high school kids doing a show. As I showed them moves, fully one third of them were struggling. I took many of them one by one showing them how to turn counter-clockwise. What is "clockwise" in a world with no clocks? Our children these days are PLUGGED in when they're in a world that should be PLAYED in. Thanks for telling parents to get their kids' noses out of electronic devices.<br /><br />Kyle<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2016-03-21T17:59:00Z
Keep Going!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keep-Going!/-684337468887082848.html
2016-03-17T17:59:00Z
2016-03-17T17:59:00Z
<br />I listen to you every day as I walk three miles in my neighborhood. Thank you for keeping me company and being that voice in my ear saying "It doesn't matter if you LIKE it, Pattie, DO IT. Keep going!"<br /><br />I have peripheral neuropathy and have some bad days and nights with it. Last night, I woke up at 1:30AM to feel my husband rubbing my feet. I hadn't asked him to do this, but for about ten minutes he rubbed them to help me sleep better. When I woke up again at 5:30AM, he rubbed my feet again.<br /><br />When I finally got up to go to work, I came out to the kitchen which smelled of bacon cooking on the stove. I asked him if my restlessness kept him up at night and if that was the reason he gave me foot massages. His response? "No, not at all - I just felt as though you needed some comforting." Then my tears started - that's what grown-up love looks like. I remain grateful and content, even in pain. <br /><br />Pattie <br /><br />
Staff
2016-03-17T17:59:00Z
My Reality Check
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Reality-Check/-33763161965354366.html
2016-03-16T17:59:00Z
2016-03-16T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I was the biggest threat to my marriage before I read your book and started listening to you again. I'm 55 years young, and have been married for 17 years. In the early years of our relationship, he pursued me and I knew how crazy in love he was. I took that opportunity to behave any old way I pleased. I could be his best girlfriend one day and then be a "bitch" the next if I didn't get my way. Even now, it chokes me up to think of the way I treated him.<br /><br />I had a wake-up call nine years into our marriage and I almost lost him, but I got your book, changed my ways 180 degrees, and "righted" our marriage. Here are the things I believe a wife can do that can be a threat to a marriage:<br /><br /><ol>
<li>Not controlling your moods.</li>
<br />
<li>Not treating him like he's King of the Castle.</li>
<br />
<li>Not taking care of yourself physically - you should always smell nice, dress like a WOMAN, and be flirtatious.</li>
<br />
<li>Turning down sex - that's never okay unless you're really ill.</li>
<br />
<li>Not keeping your home a sanctuary for him to return to every day.</li>
<br />
<li>Letting your parents, siblings, or other family come first - this was a huge mistake I made.</li>
<br />
<li>Not having his back when times are tough</li>
<br />
<li>Not getting up with him in the morning to have breakfast with him before he leaves for work.</li>
</ol><br />These days, we have a marriage made in heaven, and I cherish him every day. He, in turn, tells me how sexy gorgeous I am and what a wonderful wife I am. You are so right when you tell your callers "men are simple to please." They truly are. <br /><br />Hugs,<br /><br />Mariah<br /><br />
Staff
2016-03-16T17:59:00Z
Lesson Learned
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lesson-Learned/-323340003601171466.html
2016-03-15T17:59:00Z
2016-03-15T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Long ago, I was a privileged brat but my father still put me through four years of college. One day, he said his friend had a job for me at the local grocery store. I responded that he told me I wouldn't have to work during college, but my Dad wisely mentioned he thought it would be beneficial. I really resented him, but I went and got the job. <br /><br />Most days started with my being in a quiet rage. After all, I was a college student - I shouldn't have to work with high school kids in a grocery store! But I realized I had to adjust my attitude and greet people with a smile and make them feel welcome in the store, and I did that. After a few weeks, it hit me that I was really happy in the afternoon and that was a big contrast to how I was starting off the day. Intentionally shifting into my "work" personality actually made me happier than I had been in a long time. That's when I realized the power I had over my own emotions. If I changed my behavior, my mood followed. I could CHOOSE to be happy.<br /><br />My father is gone now, but the lesson I learned from him has helped my outlook on life and all my relationships. I apply this principle in my marriage, at my current job, and with my friendships. Who knew that I'd learn such a life lesson in a grocery store? I often hear you teaching this truth to people who struggle in their marriages-act like you're happy, give a loving touch, greet him with a smile or give her a hug - and it WILL make you feel better. I know from experience you're right! Keep up the good work.<br /><br />Steve <br />
Staff
2016-03-15T17:59:00Z
It's the Little Things That Matter
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-the-Little-Things-That-Matter/571352789208709603.html
2016-03-14T17:59:00Z
2016-03-14T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've heard you say hundreds of times how noticing small things, complimenting, and being your husband's girlfriend can make a difference in a marriage. That small bit of advice has made a big difference in my life with a husband I was about to throw away. I wish other women who have perfectly good husbands would understand these magic words which will turn their husbands into the Prince Charming they so desperately want. <br /><br />I was one of those women who was going through the motions until our kids were out and then I planned to start a new life hopefully with someone who would be more compatible. But about five years ago, I noticed my husband was capable of changing and I trusted that the changes were for real. That's when I started changing MY attitude, and channeled more of the affection and attention I was giving the children towards him. I was flirty and sweet and not uptight, and he responded in ways that blew me away. I always felt my husband loved me, but our day-to-day interaction was tense and unfriendly. The more I followed your advice, the more affectionate, attentive and helpful he was. I was quite amazed and so thankful.<br /><br />Keep preaching that women have the power in the marriage to turn it around if they just do a little work and stop trying to be in control of everything. I have benefited from this more than I ever expected, and I have you to thank for it.<br /><br />Tammy <br />
Staff
2016-03-14T17:59:00Z
In Sickness And In Health
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/In-Sickness-And-In-Health/-814401549290639981.html
2016-03-11T18:59:00Z
2016-03-11T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband and I have been married almost 40 years. Three months after our wedding, he was in a tragic auto accident which left him a paraplegic. I stayed by his side and we worked through all the trials of our new life. He became independent and was able to continue working. We were also able to adopt two children, who are now 38 and 33 years old. We were able to do some traveling and had a good life in spite of all the challenges.<br /><br />Five years ago, he was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease, and he was able to get a kidney transplant. Since then, his health has declined and he was forced to retire. I am now his full-time caregiver. There are days I get very frustrated - I have very little time to do anything for myself. But when you truly love someone, you stick with them for better or worse, in sickness and in health. <br /><br />It saddens me to see couples who have very little commitment to those vows. When the going gets tough, they jump ship! A lot of people have praised me over the years, including my husband. I would only hope that if the tables were turned, he would have done the same for me. But I am here until death do us part.<br /><br />Sienna <br />
Staff
2016-03-11T18:59:00Z
The Best Investment I Could Have Made
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Best-Investment-I-Could-Have-Made/998059193551189746.html
2016-03-10T18:59:00Z
2016-03-10T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />I'm a 30 year old wife, mom of an 8 month old son and pregnant with our second. My husband got the day off for his birthday recently. We were thrilled to have the whole day as a family. But the night before, he got a call that he was needed in the office the next day. I wanted to complain and moan about all the ruined plans and missed family time, but I channeled you and kept my mouth shut. When his alarm went off the next morning before 6AM, I pulled my pregnant butt out of bed and made my "boyfriend" breakfast and then sat down to share coffee with him. While I used to make a habit of getting up with him, I haven't been doing as good a job of it since the new baby and my current pregnancy.<br /><br />Dr. Laura, that 15 minutes with him was the best investment I could have made in our marriage that day. An hour after he left for work, I got a text from him that said "Thank you so much for this morning. I really enjoyed that. Man, I love you. You're such a great wife." When he got home from work, he was smiling from ear to ear and presented me with a beautiful bouquet of spring flowers - remember this was HIS birthday, and I got the flowers! <br /><br />I had already chosen wisely, but listening to you reminds me to treat kindly and invest in those little "coffee" moments. Thank you from my kids' mom and my hot husband's girlfriend.<br /><br />Jessie <br />
Staff
2016-03-10T18:59:00Z
Spreading The Word
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Spreading-The-Word/-726696940990113599.html
2016-03-08T18:59:00Z
2016-03-08T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />My daughter wrote a term paper recently on the negative effects of daycare on children. As she did her research (which included your book "In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms"), she learned interesting facts such as how the mother/child bonding process is interrupted when children are dumped into daycare, and how this lack of solid bonding can have a lifelong effect.<br /><br />My daughter has lived with me (a stay-at-home mom) all her life so she knows the benefits first-hand, but it was still very eye-opening for her to read the research, and that helped solidify her views on this topic. The most shocking thing to her was finding numerous news articles about children who were physically hurt in day care - everything from getting sunburned due to lack of attention to falling out of windows and more. <br /><br />When my daughter shared her research, many of her friends and classmates were stunned (many of them assume they will have a career and utilize daycare), and wanted to know more. I'm happy to say some of the girls are reconsidering what was their default mode because of the conversation they had with my daughter. If her sharing this information helps even one future family it will have been worth it. I wanted to let you know how your book is being used to influence the futures of young women who aren't even mothers yet. Thank you!<br /><br />Terry<br />
Staff
2016-03-08T18:59:00Z
Gotta Get My Daily Dr. Laura!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Gotta-Get-My-Daily-Dr.-Laura!/632668302994175185.html
2016-03-07T18:59:00Z
2016-03-07T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I found you about a year ago, and I've been hooked ever since! I'm 20 years old and in my first serious relationship. As you can imagine, I'm not the perfect girlfriend at this age, and I've got a lot of learning to do when it comes to understanding men. Until I started listening, I had a skewed aspect about all things male; my attitude in life was basically feminist through and through. <br /><br />Once I decided to put some of your advice into action in terms of how I treated my boyfriend, I noticed a dramatic change in him. I previously had been passive/aggressive, resentful and sarcastic. Then I switched to "adorable" and sweet! I realize now that there ARE great guys out there, and I found one. But I guarantee that, not too long ago, you would have told him to break up with me and get on with his life. I had treated him like one of my girlfriends. I dumped my feelings on him, and I think I put the poor guy through hell. <br /><br />You taught me how much power a woman can really have in a relationship as long as she doesn't abuse or misuse it. You've given me the tools to live a happy life, and I can't thank you enough.<br /><br />Helene<br />
Staff
2016-03-07T18:59:00Z
Breaking Up Was Hard, But Worth It
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Breaking-Up-Was-Hard,-But-Worth-It/-112569341760165145.html
2016-03-02T18:59:00Z
2016-03-02T18:59:00Z
Hi Dr. Laura!<br /><br />I finally "broke up" with my sister, her third husband, and their 27 (going on 47) year old daughter. I simply said "I'm sorry, but until you, your husband, and your daughter demonstrate value and respect for my home, my hospitality, and me, I won't be participating in any family activities with you. Please don't invite me to anything until or unless you apologize and can consistently demonstrate value and respect for your relationship with me." <br /><br />What maddens me is when well-intentioned friends say that I should find a way to reconcile, because I'm "the bigger person." Dr. Laura, I was the "bigger person" for decades, and it never mattered. Even my housekeeper told my sister that she should be ashamed of how she treated me! Bottom line is that toxic family members often seek to have their perspective validated by other toxic family members. <br /><br />Align yourself with those who bring love, peace and joy into your life, and you'll be happier, healthier, and more productive, like I am now.<br /><br />Paul<br />
Staff
2016-03-02T18:59:00Z
Make Sure He Takes Care Of His Lawn
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Make-Sure-He-Takes-Care-Of-His-Lawn/620996873136308613.html
2016-03-01T18:59:00Z
2016-03-01T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My five year old daughter walked in the house with my husband after a bike ride, and my husband asked her: "So, before you marry a man some day, make sure he does <em>what</em>?" And she replied: "Takes care of his lawn!" <br /><br />Not only did that make me giggle, but it made me grateful to have a husband to teach these little things to our kids. It does say a lot about a man who takes pride in what he does. In addition to taking care of his lawn, I tell her to choose wisely and treat kindly (as her daddy and I have done) and she'll be just fine.<br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura for being my second mom and instilling values in me that have helped shape the family my husband and I have created. You definitely have raised a generation!<br /><br />Stephanie<br />
Staff
2016-03-01T18:59:00Z
Taking A Hard Look At My Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-A-Hard-Look-At-My-Life/-947588288032913968.html
2016-02-29T18:59:00Z
2016-02-29T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When I was younger, I went through many "shack-up" relationships. Luckily, I never got pregnant during that period of my life. My last "shack up" was an abusive and alcoholic boyfriend. It took everything I had to get the courage up to kick him out, but I did.<br /><br />Once he was out, I took a hard look at myself and my life. It wasn't pretty, and I cried a lot over my situation. But I was a listener to you, and I vowed to finally change for the better. I needed to become a stronger woman and rise above the bad choices I had made. I worked several jobs so that I could completely support myself and not run to the first wrong man who said he'd take care of me. <br /><br />After two months of being "the new me," I found the man of my dreams. We've just celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary, and I'm proud to say I'm his wife, girlfriend and best friend. Thank you Dr. Laura for helping me change my life. Keep up the great work.<br /><br />Terry<br />
Staff
2016-02-29T18:59:00Z
Surrogate Mommies
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Surrogate-Mommies/425427813491288847.html
2016-02-26T18:59:00Z
2016-02-26T18:59:00Z
<br />A friend of mine, who is a working mom, posted this comment of praise and gratitude to her nanny/babysitter on Facebook: <br />
<blockquote>"<em>Thank you so much for loving and caring for our boy. We would be lost without you</em>."</blockquote>
These kinds of comments still always shock me, but it also infuriates me that working moms brag about how great daycare is for their kids. Now we're elevating daycare providers to the status of mother! I know of several women who share this belief - one told me that she's pregnant for the first time, but has no intention of staying home or taking care of her child. Another person I know had a child, went back to work, and sent her child to live with her mother full time! She visited the child on the weekends!<br /><br />Even though they all say things like, "Well, we ARE Moms," I want to shake them and say: "NO. I am a mother; you are a surrogate!" <br /><br /> I'm now pregnant with my third child and cannot imagine someone else nurturing my children. I don't want a stranger telling me of their milestones or cuddling them when they're sick. Being a mom is the hardest thing I've ever done, but it's also most rewarding. I carried them for 9 months and pushed them out of my body. To hand them over to a stranger and miss out on everything is downright abandonment.<br /><br />My Mom gave me a copy of your book "<em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Praise-Stay-at-Home-Moms-Laura-Schlessinger/dp/B005SNO0L4" target="_blank">In Praise of Stay-At-Home Moms</a></em>" when I was pregnant with my first, and now I pass it on to every mom-to-be who needs encouragement. Thank you for always being the voice in our heads advocating for kids to have their moms. Your determination to give as many kids as possible their moms back keeps me going. You're my hero!<br /><br />Shirley<br />
Staff
2016-02-26T18:59:00Z
I'm A Mechanic...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-A-Mechanic.../340791883166528026.html
2016-02-25T18:59:00Z
2016-02-25T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />As my now-husband and I were planning our wedding, I was feeling quite overwhelmed. I started asking his opinion on flowers, catering, music, bridesmaids and ushers, and I was frustrated because he didn't seem to want to be involved in any of this.<br /><br />Then he said three words, and I laughed out loud and thought of you. He said:<span> <br /></span>
<blockquote>"I'm a mechanic."<br /> </blockquote>
That's when it hit me that men and women ARE very different, and that's okay. He has no idea how much you help me love him, and I truly do.Thanks for being there for us!<br /><br />Lenore<br /><br />
Staff
2016-02-25T18:59:00Z
I Heard YOU!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Heard-YOU!/117253307927528157.html
2016-02-24T18:59:00Z
2016-02-24T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />19 years ago, I gave birth to our oldest child. I fully intended to return to work, but when my six weeks maternity leave was up, I couldn't bear the thought of my baby spending her days with someone else. So when I made the decision not to return to work, I didn't get the support I had envisioned. People thought I was crazy to give up something I enjoyed that paid well. They wondered how my military husband and I could survive on his paycheck. Even though my husband was on board, I questioned myself, wondering if my greatest asset to my family was my paycheck!<br /><br />Then while driving across Indiana, I heard YOU. That day you changed my life, because you gave me a voice and helped me be confident and proud in my decision to be the primary influence on my child. It certainly wasn't easy; I found ways to make money along the way - from a home business to odd jobs on the side. It helped and it was always on MY terms - I was always around to take all my kids to school and pick them up in the afternoon and attend all their games and events. <br /><br />My children are almost grown now, and I hear daily what smart, kind-hearted, accomplished loving children we have. People say I'm lucky, but I tell them I'm not "lucky" -- we consciously made the right decision all those years ago, and staying home with them had real value. Thank you, Dr. Laura for giving me the strength and courage to go do the right thing for my kids.<br /><br />Billie <br /><br />
Staff
2016-02-24T18:59:00Z
Lessons Learned From Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lessons-Learned-From-Dr.-Laura/-81279637202540614.html
2016-02-23T18:59:00Z
2016-02-23T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I've been listening to you for several years, and here are some things I've learned from you in that time.<br /><br />
<ul>
<li>When I was 19 (I'm 54 now), I married my first husband. He ran off with another woman and we divorced. </li>
</ul>
<blockquote><em>Lesson learned from you: </em> don't marry so young, because you really don't have a clue!<br /> </blockquote>
<ul>
<li>I remarried on the rebound and thought I could change a drug abuser and rehabilitate him. One year later, we divorced. </li>
</ul>
<blockquote><em>Lesson learned from you: </em> You can't change anyone.<br /> </blockquote>
<ul>
<li>I remarried again, and failed to talk with him about his views on children. He wanted them and I wasn't so sure. I let him out of the marriage so he could find someone who would want to have a family with him. </li>
</ul>
<blockquote><em>Lesson learned from you: </em>Do pre-marital counseling to talk about expectations!</blockquote>
<br />I married again ten years ago, and since listening to you, I've made SURE to follow your rules. We have a wonderful life because I chose wisely this time and I definitely treat kindly. I used to roll my eyes at what you said on the air, but after putting your suggestions into action and finding out THEY REALLY DID WORK, I'm amazed. I wish I would have found you earlier - I might have saved myself a lot of mistakes.<br /><br />The next 30 years or so are going to be wonderful, and I finally got it right with your help.<br /><br />Thank you!<br /><br />Diane <br />
Staff
2016-02-23T18:59:00Z
The Common Sense Of My 8-Year-Old Son
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Common-Sense-Of-My-8-Year-Old-Son/-424945590951809308.html
2016-02-22T18:59:00Z
2016-02-22T18:59:00Z
<br />Hi, Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I had the TV news on a few weeks ago, and after the news, '<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bachelorette" target="_blank">The Bachelorette</a>' came on and it was a big final episode where they pick 'The One'. For the whole three minutes it was on, our four-year-old daughter was intrigued by all the roses and pretty dresses she saw. Our 8-year-old son then turned to her and told her how the show was 'dumb' because 'you have to get to know someone longer than they do on the show before you should ever think about marriage!'<br /><br />He then told her in a sweet little voice to be sure to date a nice man for a very long time before getting married. I was so proud of him for having such common sense, but also the brains and love to tell his little sister that. Our son loves listening to your show, so I have the distinct feeling that some of what you say definitely rubbed off on him!<br /><br />Kelly
Staff
2016-02-22T18:59:00Z
Child Maintenance, Not Child Development
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Child-Maintenance,-Not-Child-Development/959482534047448393.html
2016-02-19T18:59:00Z
2016-02-19T18:59:00Z
<br />Hi, Dr. Laura:<br /><br />After college and before getting my Master's degree in Early Education, I worked at the top-rated day care center in a large metropolitan area. It was a fabulous facility with top notch educated providers. However, the only thing I learned while working there was that I would NEVER put my future children in day care. <br /><br />We put together educational, fun activities, read books, and did art projects, but truly, this was all just child maintenance, not child development. While we were caring people, these were not our own children, and no amount of money could make us love and care for them the way they needed to be loved daily. It was a job, and while we did it to the best of our ability, the most important aspect was lacking for these kids eight hours a day - love and an investment in their lives and futures.<br /><br />I am now a proud stay-at-home mom to my two kids, and while it has been tough financially at times, they only have one childhood and I will have plenty of time to work when they're up and out. These are precious years and I wouldn't trade them for anything. Thank you for promoting and supporting the importance of being a stay-at-home mom.<br /><br />Laura
Staff
2016-02-19T18:59:00Z
When Life Throws You a Curve
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-Life-Throws-You-a-Curve/304518812979880899.html
2016-02-18T18:59:00Z
2016-02-18T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />One of your recent Facebook posts caught my eye. It said "Your job as a parent is to teach your kids how to deal with disappointment, not to keep them from it." It's a hard thing to keep in mind when every ounce of your body wants to protect them from disappointment! But I'm proud to say I made the right choice when I encountered a situation that illustrated this statement.<br /><br />In his young, little life, my son experienced one disappointment after another, and the way I worked through it was to simply empathize in the moment, and calmly tell him (with assurance) "you will rise above it." After some time, it paid off. He now understands he can do just that, and has indeed "risen above it" when thrown one of life's curves.<br /><br />Kelly<br /><br />
Staff
2016-02-18T18:59:00Z
A Dozen Red Roses
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Dozen-Red-Roses/-522518216031715967.html
2016-02-17T18:59:00Z
2016-02-17T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When I was about 8 years old I was waiting at a bus stop in the small town where I lived, along with some young and older kids. There was an old man who lived in town, and as he slowly passed us by on his bike, the older kids (and then the younger kids) started yelling at him and making fun of him. I got mad and loudly told them to stop it! I didn't care what they thought of me. They finally stopped, and no one said anything to me when we got on the bus. <br /><br />The next day, I got home and my mom told me I had a dozen red roses sent to me. Then she told me that the old man who lived down the street sent them. She was worried and told me I better not be talking to him. Then I told her what happened at the bus stop. The man had simply written "thank you" on the card he sent with the roses. Right then and there I knew I would do the same thing again if I had to because it was the right thing to do!<br /> <br />Jill<br /><br />
Staff
2016-02-17T18:59:00Z
'A Proud Mom'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Proud-Mom/430717570672768749.html
2016-02-16T18:59:00Z
2016-02-16T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />This is from "A Proud Mom:<br /><br />My 8 year old daughter (who listens to you when we're in the car) is on a competitive dance team with 14 girls, but she was asked to join the team later in the season after the girls had already bonded. <br /><br />One day, an older girl with a reputation for being a bully was asked about the number of girls on the team by a visiting choreographer. She said "13," but then added "14 if you count the leftover" and mentioned my daughter by name. My daughter was devastated. She told me the story later in the day. My first reaction was that we should talk to the team teacher, but my daughter said she wanted to handle it on her own. In fact, she said to me "I want to do it like Dr. Laura says and use some reverse psychology on her."<br /><br />The next day, my daughter walked up to the girl in question and said "I thought about what you said, and you're right - I AM a leftover." The she snapped her fingers, smiled and said "But I'm the best leftover you'll ever meet!" Much to my surprise, the girl paused and said "I know I hurt your feelings and I feel bad. I'm sorry."<br /><br />It was hard for me to let my daughter handle her own problem, but this was one of my prouder Mommy moments! I don't think she'll have to worry about this girl mistreating her again. <br /><br />
Staff
2016-02-16T18:59:00Z
My 'Mommy Hat'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Mommy-Hat/-826513010500052732.html
2016-02-12T18:59:00Z
2016-02-12T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />There was a story today on my company's intranet site about an employee who recently lost her one year old son due to an accident at the child's daycare. Our company is sponsoring a 100 day walking challenge and this mother spoke of how this challenge was helping her cope with the loss of her boy. My co-workers have been talking about this mother's inspiring strength and how sad her story is. I can't help but think of her poor baby. If this mother had not gone back to work and stayed at home with her child, would he still be with her today? <br /><br />It is stories like these that make me thankful for my mom who stayed home with all four of her kids, and my dad who worked so hard to make that possible. I don't have the honor of being a mother yet, but I know when that time comes, I will not waste those precious years at work. I'll spend my days with my children reading, snuggling, making homemade Play-Doh, and stamps out of potatoes like my mom did with my sisters and me. <br /><br />I cannot imagine the horrible tragedy of losing a child, but instead of inspiring my fellow co-workers to get in more steps every day, I hope it opened the eyes of the working moms. Instead of being my co-workers, I would hope they would realize they should go be a mom to their babies. I look forward to the day I get to turn in my pink slip and put on my<br /> mommy hat.<br /><br />Lavinia<br /><br />
Staff
2016-02-12T18:59:00Z
'Dr. Laura' Standards
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dr.-Laura-Standards/-909540600392959392.html
2016-02-11T18:59:00Z
2016-02-11T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Hi, Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Earlier this month, you talked about the qualities a man must have in order to be considered a "prince." As I listened, I noted that you were describing my husband! That gave me an idea.....and I made him a very special Valentine's Day card explaining how he is my prince, "according to Dr. Laura's standards."<br /><br />We both listen to you and love the advice you share. Thank you for doing what you do, and we are very glad you never plan on retiring!<br /><br />Love, <br /><br />Michelle<br />
Staff
2016-02-11T18:59:00Z
You've Made My Life Better
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Youve-Made-My-Life-Better/-859086727162081363.html
2016-02-10T18:59:00Z
2016-02-10T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I recently discovered your Facebook page. I listened to you faithfully when you were on my local radio station while my children were little. Simply put, you made me a better mother and a way better wife! I thank you, my children thank you and wow, so does my husband!<br /><br />I wasn't raised with much guidance or love or principles, so my parenting and wifely skills were lacking until I found you on the radio. I admire your strength, intellect, hard work, great attitude and the love that you share with all your listeners. <br /><br />You've made my life better, but more importantly, you have made my children's lives and my husband's life better because you taught me how to love them well. I am forever grateful to you.<br /><br />Barbara<br />
Staff
2016-02-10T18:59:00Z
Thank You For Sticking Up For Men
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You-For-Sticking-Up-For-Men/-120861440016897949.html
2016-02-09T18:59:00Z
2016-02-09T18:59:00Z
<br />Hey Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Thank you for sticking up for us men! I truly am amazed that you do (being a woman and all), because it seems that every woman in my sphere is on the "man-hater" bandwagon. It's always a war, especially in my marriage, where sex is used as a weapon more than part of a loving relationship to build a bond. This is why it blows my mind when you take the man's side when women call you to say their husbands "want sex all the time" and they dole it out once a month!<br /><br />I'm going to sign up for Family Premium membership so I can download your podcasts and play them to my wife while she sleeps. Maybe they will have a subconscious effect! I figure you're thinking, "Well, Dave, have you tried TALKING to her about this?" I have, and she says we have sex more than any of her friends! I feel sorry for THEIR husbands.<br />You are truly one of a kind....unfortunately. <br /><br />Keep up the good work!<br /><br />Dave <br />
Staff
2016-02-09T18:59:00Z
Teaching Us To 'Feed' Our Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teaching-Us-To-Feed-Our-Marriage/-377908904587844215.html
2016-02-08T18:59:00Z
2016-02-08T18:59:00Z
<br />My husband asked me what I wanted for Valentine's Day, and I told him I wanted the same gift he gave me last year, which was a very sexy piece of lingerie. I asked him to pick out something HE would like. After eagerly agreeing to that idea, he asked about what we should do for dinner that night.<br /><br />I had just heard you talking that day about <a href="http://www.operationfamilyfund.org/" target="_blank">Operation Family Fund</a>, and I heard you choke back tears when you read a letter from one of the veterans seeking help. I told my husband that we could go out to dinner and spend $300 or donate it to help all the men and women who help us. He looked at me, smiled, and gave me a big hug, saying "This is just one of the reasons I love you!" <br /><br />So, we'll still go out to dinner, but a more reasonably-priced one, and we'll still have a great time, but we'll feel better knowing we're helping one military family even just a little bit. <br />Thanks for teaching us daily how to "feed" our marriages and teach our children!<br /><br />Regina<br />
Staff
2016-02-08T18:59:00Z
Now He Sees Me As Loving
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Now-He-Sees-Me-As-Loving/-495550141458223264.html
2016-02-05T18:59:00Z
2016-02-05T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When I heard you say not long ago to "think positive thoughts about your husband instead of what you don't like about him," it hit me like a brick thrown at my head. After following your suggestion, the difference in our marriage over the past WEEK has been nothing less than astonishing!<br /><br />My husband is turning into the man I first met and his good qualities are not all I can remember. And suddenly HE is seeing me as his loving, happy wife!<br /><br />Thanks Dr. Laura!<br /><br />Bonita<br />
Staff
2016-02-05T18:59:00Z
It's Not Work To Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Not-Work-To-Me/41762604960485083.html
2016-02-04T18:59:00Z
2016-02-04T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I may be an exception to the rule, but for me, marriage is not "work!" I don't even know what it means when people say they "work" on their marriage!<br /><br />For me, the secrets to a successful marriage are simple:<br /><ol>
<li>LOVE each other.</li>
<br />
<li>Support each other emotionally.</li>
<br />
<li>Communicate! Communicate! Communicate! Especially in bed!</li>
<br />
<li>Give each other more than your share.</li>
<br />
<li>When you hit bad times, be there for each other instead of tearing each other down.</li>
<br />
<li>Be honest with each other and with yourself.</li>
<br />
<li>And most important: LOVE each other. </li>
</ol>Evelyn<br />
Staff
2016-02-04T18:59:00Z
Putting Love On Hold
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Putting-Love-On-Hold/115540499746838675.html
2016-02-03T18:59:00Z
2016-02-03T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband and I first met when we were both married to other people. We each had children and decided we needed to devote ourselves to those marriages because of our children. We turned our backs on our feelings for each other and did what was right for our kids, and we didn't see each other for seventeen years. During that period we both divorced - and in each case it was due to repeated infidelities on the part of our spouses.<br /><br />After those 17 years, my now husband went through a tragedy and felt I was the only person who could grasp the depth of the pain he was feeling, and he found me through an old friend. At the time we were both unmarried and living alone. We discovered we lived only 3 hours apart. We spent many hours talking on the phone before we met again in person. The spark was still there. <br /><br />We talked about everything in our lives- our kids were grown, and we filled each other in on that seventeen year gap. Long story short, we've now been married for 13 years. People can see how much in love we are, and they tell us that our relationship gives them hope. He still smells better than any man I ever met and is the best kisser, provider, husband and human being. We came together again as fully formed grown-ups. We didn't "fix" each other, but our lives became complete when we married, and we're grateful we will have each other in this latter portion of our lives.<br /><br />Patty<br />
Staff
2016-02-03T18:59:00Z
You Gave Me Strength
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Gave-Me-Strength/-885968126739150336.html
2016-02-02T18:59:00Z
2016-02-02T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />After several years of not hearing you, the wonderful SiriusXM radio that came in my new car has brought you back to me! After listening again for a few weeks, I am in awe of the influence you had on me and I didn't even know it! <br /><br />I always loved your style, appreciated your candor, and took many things to heart. I was going through a divorce, raising two kids alone and was caring for ailing and dying parents, I was drowning. No one knew the struggles that surfaced when I was alone at night, but I grew up as an athlete and learned young that you pushed through. In fact, I'm alive because of it. As a college student, I was slammed into a tree by another skier when I was on the slopes. I died there, was resuscitated and airlifted to a hospital where after awakening from a coma, I spent several months recovering. At that time, I had no idea if I would walk again, and what other life challenges I would face. Fast forward: I walk, had children, and I dance! Because I can.<br /><br />The nuggets of wisdom I gleaned from you crept into my parenting, my relationship with a demanding mother, and my career. You supported me when I didn't even know it. I wanted you to know there are many times when you say something and I have an epiphany. When I felt alone and doubtful, you gave me strength to be what I needed to be. I am eternally grateful.<br /><br />Kyle <br />
Staff
2016-02-02T18:59:00Z
Change The Attitude, Be Happier
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Change-The-Attitude,-Be-Happier/-601774042680189694.html
2016-02-01T18:59:00Z
2016-02-01T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I became a stay-at-home mom after the birth of my now-7 month old daughter. Though at first the transition from career to home was a challenge, I've never regretted this decision. <br /> <br />Recently, my husband, daughter and I took a long driving vacation. We listened to the audio book of your "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Praise-Stay-at-Home-Moms-Laura-Schlessinger/dp/B005SNO0L4" target="_blank">In Praise of Stay-At-Home Moms</a>." I found this to be so affirming and empowering! It also helped me to recognize some of my own behaviors that are keeping me from living a happier and less-stressed life. On days when I've felt overwhelmed by chores, caring for my daughter and laundry, I was choosing a "woe is me" attitude. Your book offered insight on how to change my attitude and thus be happier, and as a result, more pleasant around my husband. <br /><br />When we returned from our vacation, my daughter's face lit up with a look of happy recognition as she looked around at familiar surroundings. It made me feel so good that she recognized an environment where she is comfortable, content, and loved. I am grateful that in partnership with my husband, I'm able to provide that for her each and every day. Thank you for shining a light on being a stay-at-home mom.<br /><br />Stefani <br />
Staff
2016-02-01T18:59:00Z
Never Take Anything For Granted
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Never-Take-Anything-For-Granted/626652982856119475.html
2016-01-29T18:59:00Z
2016-01-29T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband of 24 years passed away from a brief illness last May. He left me with three gifts - two daughters, 14 and 5, and a 3 year old son. Our children are everything to me.<br /><br />I want to tell your listeners never to take anything for granted. Never talk badly about your spouse. Love deeply. Take those extra minutes in the morning or at night to hug and be hugged by your spouse. Intimacy is everything. Give more to the marriage than you expect back, and you will be well on your way to success. In times of trouble, go to your spouse. Lean on him or her. I hope your listeners find the love that I once had: kind, patient, loving, caring, strong, and never wavering.<br /><br />My life now is completely changed in every single possible way. As I navigate through this new "normal," I thank you for your words which have helped me over the years to become the mother I am and the wife I was.<br /><br />Jennifer (Kevin's wife)<br />
Staff
2016-01-29T18:59:00Z
The Best Job EVER
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Best-Job-EVER/-141317675033361620.html
2016-01-28T18:59:00Z
2016-01-28T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I listen to you every single day. I am a better wife to my husband and mom to my 15 and 13 year old kids. I'm very happily married, and each day with my growing teens is a drop of honey that I cherish. I know I'll blink and they'll be up and out.<br /><br />I've always said that being a mom is the best job I ever did or will ever do. When I say that, at first some people are put off, but then realize how correct that statement is. The work of being a mom is the greatest work I could leave behind. My kids are secure and loved deeply, and my commitment to them and my family has a lot to do with that. They are decent, kind, polite and generous.<br /><br />You are incredibly strong, and even in hard times I value you telling people to forge ahead with their realities and don't blame - just "keep on keepin' on!" <br /><br />Thank you for all you do.<br /><br />Anne<br /><br />
Staff
2016-01-28T18:59:00Z
Dr. Laura In My Stocking
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dr.-Laura-In-My-Stocking/554507071684924504.html
2016-01-27T18:59:00Z
2016-01-27T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />While listening to your show in December, I heard a caller mention that she played the "Dr. Laura Game." I decided to look for it on eBay and thought I'd buy it as a stocking stuffer Christmas gift for my husband and teenage sons since they always hear me talking about you but don't really know much about you or your show.<br /><br />Well, guess what? I found it on eBay, and gave it to them, and they LOVE it, especially my 13 year old son! It has been a wonderful vehicle for starting conversations about dating, sex, family relationships and so on. Even though I think it was created in the 1980s, it still holds up, although I think your stance has changed on a few minor things. <br /><br />Thanks for still being an amazing role model for me and my family.<br /><br />Fondly,<br />Nancy<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2016-01-27T18:59:00Z
What A Fool I Was...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-A-Fool-I-Was.../-742971379393221988.html
2016-01-26T18:59:00Z
2016-01-26T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />About two years ago, I started listening to this spirited, opinionated, SHOCKING, but painfully truthful woman....YOU. I'd never heard of you until then. I was living in a very controlling relationship, which then escalated to more abuse. After 23 years of that nonsense, I became a free woman from strength I summoned from deep within. <br /><br />Then I heard your show. I never realized what a fool I had been until I started listening to your show. Since then, I've developed a full life, married a fantastic man. I now have FUN - I go camping, exercise, hike, kayak and bike, and I'm in the best shape of my life and hardly remember that shell of a person I was. I'll probably get neck wrinkles from all the outdoor stuff I'm now doing, so I loved when you said that you could get your wrinkles fixed, but at the expense of giving up the things that give you joy. I really admired that statement, and I've decided that I will stick to whatever wrinkles will develop too!<br /><br />Thanks for helping make me a better me!<br /><br />Holly<br />
Staff
2016-01-26T18:59:00Z
Learning To Treat My Marriage Kindly
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-To-Treat-My-Marriage-Kindly/-369891748765147095.html
2016-01-25T18:59:00Z
2016-01-25T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've been happily married for almost 29 years. Our marriage was never on the brink of divorce, but there were always small daily issues that kept us from having the marriage I dreamed about. I always listened to you on the radio, and loved your advice, so I decided to read "<em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage</a></em>." Wow - what a transformation it made on my marriage.<br /><br />I stopped looking at what my husband was doing that annoyed me and started really looking at what I needed to do to improve my marriage. I didn't see major changes right away, but I kept hearing you say to stay with it. I stopped bitching, complaining and punishing my husband for golfing or spending time with someone other than me. In time, my husband started noticing the changes and liked them. We started being a team, sharing and discussing important topics rather than arguing about them.<br /><br />It's kind of a running joke that my husband goes around the office telling everyone how great it is to be married and how much he loves me. People at his office wonder what I'm doing! I'm not a really good cook, the house isn't perfect, and I'm not the prettiest girl in the room, but my husband knows I love him because I show love and affection daily. I have a great man and I know there is a line of women who would love to have him and the life he so generously provides. We are more in love today than the day we got married. <br /><br />Thank you for writing a book that helped me change myself and transform our marriage.<br /><br />With gratitude,<br /><br />Antoinette <br />
Staff
2016-01-25T18:59:00Z
Lemons To Lemonade
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lemons-To-Lemonade/-276374293254914043.html
2016-01-22T18:59:00Z
2016-01-22T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />These last several months have been very difficult for me. We moved from California (the place I love) to Washington State, so our kids could be close to grandparents, aunts, uncles and other family. When we first decided to move, we decided to give up some adult joys so we could give our kids a better life, so we naively expected it to go pretty smoothly. My husband got what we thought was a better job. Unfortunately, that's when things went the opposite of "smoothly," and everything that could go wrong did.<br /><br />I focused on some things you've said on your show, and while life isn't better yet, my attitude is. I'm working out, meeting friends, and making a peaceful home for my husband through his work struggles, while keeping our kids as happy as possible. I've decided that even though life isn't going my way, it could be a lot worse. <br /><br />Please keep doing what you're doing because it has made a big difference in how people like me approach the temporary storms that life seems to throw us.<br /><br />Delilah<br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2016-01-22T18:59:00Z
Going Against My Beliefs
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Going-Against-My-Beliefs/-291562207512959139.html
2016-01-21T18:59:00Z
2016-01-21T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />As a divorced mother of 2 kids, ages 21 and 18, my priorities have always been them and their well-being. I started dating a man and after 2 years when our kids were 18 and over, we decided to move in together. He was not yet able to get married because he was getting financial assistance for his kids' college by being a single man. Getting married was not a good choice for him and his kids. <br /><br />On my second day living in his house, I was not happy, but not because I didn't love him. I heard your voice in my head and realized that even though we loved each other, I was an unpaid whore. No matter what people say, the level of commitment is NOT the same. I was going against my beliefs, my value system, my inner voice and YOUR voice. I didn't want to show my kids that putting your value system aside in order to satisfy someone else's financial needs was okay. So I decided to pack up and move out to live on my own. I told him his priorities were wrong and I couldn't live like this. <br /><br />Somehow, he realized the importance of marriage for ME, and that became more important than the financial benefits to him of not being married. He picked me up from work a few days later and we went to get married. I am now OFFICIALLY his wife and will forever be his girlfriend. He is the happiest man, and I am the happiest "honorable" woman. Thank you for always being there for me, even without your knowing it!<br /><br />Maria<br /><br />
Staff
2016-01-21T18:59:00Z
I Feel More Genuine
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Feel-More-Genuine/-172444722199422071.html
2016-01-20T18:59:00Z
2016-01-20T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Your book, "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a>" helped me stay married, and we'll be celebrating 46 years of marriage this year. Here's what I did after reading the book and listening to your show:<br /><br /><ol>
<li><strong>I started letting my husband be the man. </strong> I did little things like ask him to open jars, get things from high shelves and generally help with things I could do by myself.</li>
<br />
<li><strong>I greet him every day when he comes home. </strong> I get up from whatever I'm doing and meet him at the door with an intimate kiss that lets him know I'm his woman and I'm glad he's home.</li>
<br />
<li><strong>I stopped withholding sex as punishment. </strong> I changed my thinking after hearing you say sex was a stress reliever for women too. We now have a great sex life!</li>
<br />
<li><strong>I treat him like a king, and he treats me like a queen. </strong></li>
</ol><br />Just doing these few things dramatically changed our relationship. I feel more feminine and actually like my genuine true nature (rather than "fighting" with him, which is what I learned from the feminist movement)! Little did I know that at 18 (when we married) that this many years later I'd be married to the same guy. We know we beat the odds, and you helped! We treat each other kindly now every day.<br /><br />A fan forever, <br /><br />Patty <br />
Staff
2016-01-20T18:59:00Z
Student Teaches The Teacher
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Student-Teaches-The-Teacher/802207307907742372.html
2016-01-19T18:59:00Z
2016-01-19T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Hello Dr. Laura!<br /><br />My 12 year old son came home from school and told me about a class discussion he had in seventh grade. His teacher was talking about stereotyping and used as an example of a stereotype that "the woman should stay home to take care of the kids and the man should go out to work and support the family." My son asked the teacher "Why do you call it stereotyping if it's just a true statement? The Mom actually should stay home and take care of the kids and it's really the Dads job to work so the family has money."<br />The teacher said that a Mom could work, and so can a Dad, and it's ridiculous to stereotype a family that way. My son piped up, "Well, if the Mom works, who's with the kids?<br /><br />Daycare? It isn't good for kids, and I'm glad my Mom was always home." The teacher responded with some lame answer how daycare is fine for kids and it's a perfectly good situation for both parents to work and raise children. As my son was telling me all this, he looked at me and said "Wasn't that really a stupid thing for the teacher to say? I feel sorry for the baby he and his wife will have soon."<br /><br />I'm proud of our boy and thankful that he stood up for what is right, even when his teacher told him he was wrong. I'm happy to know my future grandkids will have a great Dad one day, just as my kids do now. I think I'll send the teacher a link to your podcasts!<br /><br />Kim <br />
Staff
2016-01-19T18:59:00Z
Just 'Do It'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Just-Do-It/-762669965003665120.html
2016-01-18T18:59:00Z
2016-01-18T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm a long time listener, and being a stay-at-home mom was the greatest decision my husband and I have ever made. We were just shy of 30 years old when our son was born, had been married for five years, and had never lived together before marriage. <br />While I was staying home with our son, we lived in an 800 square foot house and had one vehicle. We did without LOTS of stuff. I only took a part-time job when my son was a senior in high school. Was money tight? You better believe it, but we still managed one vacation a year. My husband didn't have a high-paying job either.<br /><br />To parents today, I say "just do it." You can! You don't need half the stuff you've got - sell it, downsize, and make time for your children. Our son is now 35 and still thanks us for providing him with a loving, nurturing home with a mom who was there for him every day. And I'm still my husband's girlfriend -- he is the best boyfriend ever, going into 41 years of marriage.<br /><br />Thanks for your good, sound advice. So many times I want to "bonk" a caller of yours over the head, which is why I don't need your job - jail would not be far behind!<br /><br />Cynthia<br />
Staff
2016-01-18T18:59:00Z
I KNOW I Chose Wisely
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-KNOW-I-Chose-Wisely/-630688218542011603.html
2016-01-15T18:59:00Z
2016-01-15T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My law enforcement husband (also known as a "real man") had a lousy day at work recently, and many would never guess that was the case. His shift ended as my work day began, and he walked into my office at the start of my day in casual clothes carrying coffee and bagels. He drove over an hour to spend a ten minute coffee break with me. Wow.<br /><br />I had no clue from the smile on his face that he had a bad day. As I was enjoying my latte, I noticed that his skin was unusually red, so I asked if he had taken a vitamin that makes his skin flush red. He had an odd look on his face, but said "no." Then he told me he literally had a "crappy" day at work - he had human pee and poop thrown on him and the red skin was from the decontamination process!<br /><br />You preach about choosing wisely and treating kindly, and about marrying a "real man." In that moment, I knew I had. I married a man who can be smiling, loving, and sweet after a terrible day, and he gets bonus points for not complaining. We ladies - well, WE would be complaining for sure. <br /><br />Lisa<br /><br />
Staff
2016-01-15T18:59:00Z
You Were My Guide
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Were-My-Guide/-549422015165130415.html
2016-01-14T18:59:00Z
2016-01-14T18:59:00Z
<br />Dearest Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I spent the first 40 years of my life selfishly living only for career success and material gain. I was a radical feminist, and had no understanding at all of relationships. When I got pregnant out of wedlock, I thought nothing of aborting "it." "It" was inconvenient. I treated men as if they existed to serve me and my agenda. <br /><br />Then I stumbled on your show 20 years ago, and I thought you were smart, but nuts. But I couldn't stop listening, and slowly but surely, you altered my brain chemistry completely. For the first time in my life, I grasped what morals and ethics were and I wanted to have them. I wanted to live for someone else, but it was very late in the game. Then an old college boyfriend reached out, and we reconnected. I realized what a good man I had callously thrown away many years ago, and I realized that producing a baby myself was not a good plan. We married and then adopted a baby boy at birth. I became a stay-at-home mom and while it was uncomfortable at first, you were there to always guide me.<br /><br />My little baby boy is now 15 years old and I get to say "I am my kid's mom" and "my husband's girlfriend." My life was a train wreck until I found you, Dr. Laura. To this day, I am a faithful, grateful listener. Thank you for your clarity, guidance, and wisdom.<br /><br />With much love,<br /><br />Nancy<br />
Staff
2016-01-14T18:59:00Z
I Love Her As She Is
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Love-Her-As-She-Is/334369779902663918.html
2016-01-13T18:59:00Z
2016-01-13T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Thank you for your recent insightful <a href="https://www.facebook.com/drlaura/" target="_blank">Facebook</a> post which said 'Love the child you have, not the child you wish you had'. This has been such a help to me in dealing with a grown daughter with Asperger's.<br /><br />She's smart, sweet and well educated, with a degree in music from a top conservatory. However, she has very few social skills and can be difficult when a lot of people are around and she wants my undivided attention. This is stressful for me when we have family and friends over and she's included. She can be difficult at other times as well.<br /><br />I find I repeat your post in my head many times, and this enables me to deal with our daughter with patience and love, even when I feel at wit's end. It gets me through the moment and I can smile and look at this lovely young woman and unconditionally love her as she IS, not as I wish she was. I sincerely thank you.<br /><br />Jodi <br />
Staff
2016-01-13T18:59:00Z
The Gift Of Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Gift-Of-Children/24383081632036259.html
2016-01-12T18:59:00Z
2016-01-12T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I started listening to your show just over 8 months ago. I was the epitome of a young female millennial, tainted by the feminist movement. I had hopes, ambitions, and was well on my way to making my dreams come true upon my college graduation. These dreams did not include being a mother. I was 21, engaged, and not at all desirous of the prospect of motherhood, which I saw as a stumbling block in my pursuit to change the world. I couldn't fathom walking around with a baby on my hip and with the only goal of preparing dinner for my husband.<br /><br />Once I got married, however, I discovered that it would be a great disservice to any future child not to offer my husband the opportunity to be a father, which in turn, ignited my own maternal feelings. How could this be? I convinced myself I could do it all. I could be a devoted wife, mother, and employee. After sharing this vision with my husband, he told me his beliefs about mothers staying at home, which I thought was crazy. I started doing research, and in turn, found your show. Through many hours of listening, that's when I realized I had been brainwashed, falling prey to the resounding message that it's possible to spread yourself thin and still succeed. Now I know I couldn't have been more wrong. <br /><br />Dr. Laura, I'm so grateful for your determination to fight against this incredibly flawed belief and champion all stay-at-home Moms out there who serve as role models. I now understand that the greatest gift I could receive would involve being with my children, and the greatest way I can change the world is to invest all my effort into raising well-adjusted, compassionate individuals. <br /><br />Kelli <br />
Staff
2016-01-12T18:59:00Z
My 'Dr. Laura Light'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Dr.-Laura-Light/116918997330995732.html
2016-01-11T18:59:00Z
2016-01-11T18:59:00Z
Dr. Laura:<br /><br />This Christmas, we decided to let our 12 year old son place the star on the top of the tree (traditionally, this has been my husband's job every year). He needed a ladder to reach the top of our 7 foot tree, and even though my husband and I were holding the ladder to keep him safe, he made a few failed attempts at placing the star, mainly out of fear that he was going to fall. After a few of these failed attempts, he was upset and went to go sulk in his room. I was all set to say "Let's just let Dad do it, and we'll get on with a nice family evening of decorating the rest of the tree." <br /><br />My husband had a different idea. He told our son to get back on the ladder and complete the task of placing the star no matter how long it took. My "Dr. Laura light" blinked on in my brain to tell me to stay out of this, and let Dad take care of the situation. After one more attempt, our boy did it just right, and couldn't have been prouder of himself. I couldn't believe I was going to let him just give up! I'm so glad I listen to your show enough to have your voice pop into my head at times like these. This turned out to be a life lesson about not giving up and striving to do what you set out to do no matter how long it takes or how many attempts are involved. Our son learned a valuable lesson that he would not have learned if I didn't shut up and let his Dad do his job. Sometimes, we Moms need to stand down and let Dad turn our babies into real men. <br /><br />Please never stop showing us how to do the right thing!<br /><br />Jenni<br /><br />
Staff
2016-01-11T18:59:00Z
Marriage And Family Come First
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Marriage-And-Family-Come-First/-112464937474757427.html
2016-01-08T18:59:00Z
2016-01-08T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've been listening to you for many years, and I finally realized how important it is to put my husband before my crazy corporate job. Recently, I have made a point to put silly and sweet notes on his coffee mug in the morning, and even stashed holiday candy in fun places in hopes he will think of me during his commute.<br /><br />Even better, he's taken my lead and starts my coffee in the morning and leaves me notes as well. At one point before this, we were so stressed out that I didn't know if we would make it or not. We now have a plan in place to allow me to leave my job in the next six months to allow us to focus on our marriage, even though our kids are already up and out. <br /><br />Thank you for reminding me that marriage and family comes before everything else.<br /><br />Betty
Staff
2016-01-08T18:59:00Z
Respect And Encouragement Work Better Than Nagging
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Respect-And-Encouragement-Work-Better-Than-Nagging/924465416081053658.html
2016-01-07T18:59:00Z
2016-01-07T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />I've been happily married for 25 years. When we were first married, someone told me it was really important to point out things that bothered me about my new husband right away so as not to let things "marinate" and then become bigger issues. I shared this thought with my wise husband, and he said "It's going to be a really long, unhappy marriage if we're going to focus on the negative. I prefer that we accept the fact that neither of us is perfect, and we're going to do thing that might irritate the other. Instead, let's focus on all the qualities that we love about each other, and the little annoyances will fade over time."<br /><br />Well, here we are 25 years later and he was so right. I feel loved every day of my life, and we approach each day knowing that the other one is putting forth his or her best effort. Sometimes it's not 100%, but we get there almost all the time. Did I get bad advice all those years ago? I think so, and we live by the idea that we're all in this together at all times. We look forward to sending our son to college knowing full well that he was raised in a home where two people respect, encourage and love each other deeply.<br /><br />Juliet <br />
Staff
2016-01-07T18:59:00Z
Grateful For Practical Advice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Grateful-For-Practical-Advice/405185447549091587.html
2016-01-06T18:59:00Z
2016-01-06T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I started listening to you when I first went to counseling in my thirties, because honestly, I didn't have a clue about right and wrong, good choices vs. bad choices, proper boundaries and functional family dynamics. <br /><br />Your practical advice on everyday life situations, common sense, humor, boldness and lack of tolerance for head games, cop-outs, excuses, and blaming just stuck in my core! I owe you a debt of gratitude for helping me become the moral, strong, logical, confident woman I am today.<br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura!<br /><br />Katie
Staff
2016-01-06T18:59:00Z
23 Years And Still Giggling
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/23-Years-And-Still-Giggling/839025605759357094.html
2016-01-05T18:59:00Z
2016-01-05T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I started listening to you six months ago, when our new car came with a SiriusXM subscription. My husband and I are an exception to a well-known rule. We lived across the street from one another, and have been in love since we were 13. Yes, I said "in love."<br /><br />Fast forward 23 years, and we are still in love, but as we were driving last night, we said to one another how the past six months have been "different" - different GOOD - and we both agreed it was thanks to you! We weren't having any problems, but I think subconsciously I have made changes and put more effort in the marriage by listening to you. In the mix of children, work and family, we both put our marriage last, but now we make it our number one priority. Simple things like taking a walk or going to get coffee together - just making time for US. I love him more today than ever.<br /><br />One bit of advice you've given that I have not had to use quite yet (but it's in my back pocket when I need it) and my husband giggles every time he hears you say it is to "flash your husband!" It's the best advice out there!<br /><br />Truly my husband's girlfriend and my kid's mom,<br /><br />Julie <br />
Staff
2016-01-05T18:59:00Z
Finding The Silver Lining: When The New Baby Impacts Your 'Friendships'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finding-The-Silver-Lining:-When-The-New-Baby-Impacts-Your-Friendships/-562907856797982844.html
2016-01-04T18:59:00Z
2016-01-04T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband and I were close friends with a group of people throughout our early twenties. I was under the impression that they were pro "live your life however you want," but my husband and I learned they were really pro "live your life however WE think you should." <br /><br />Eight months after we married, I got pregnant. We always knew I was going to be a stay-at-home mom when we had kids, but we thought this was going to be a few years out, not 8 months into our marriage. We were both a little overwhelmed, so we went to our friends for support. Instead, one of them actually said "That sucks! We probably aren't going to be friends much longer. Are you going to keep the baby?" My husband and I told those friends off and dropped them. These friends were always talking about accepting people's life choices, and how kind we all needed to be toward those who were different from us. But they were telling their own friends that I was throwing away my college degree, I was becoming a "kept woman" and losing my identity and they just couldn't be friends with that. I felt betrayed; people we thought we were close to just abandoned us with ease. <br /><br />Now, after becoming a mom, I see how ironic and hypocritical they were, and I see them through lenses of pity instead of anger. Your program helped me live a life of "revenge" by being happy and untouched by their judgments. Your book "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Shark-Attack-Land-Overcoming/dp/B005SMVWD4" target="_blank">Surviving a Shark Attack on Land</a>" helped me realize that I knew what kind of people they were a long time ago, yet I stayed friends with them before our pregnancy. After their betrayal I found new and wonderful friends and even found a fulfilling hobby I would never have thought of. Thank you for helping me find the "silver lining" in betrayal. I am my husband's girlfriend, my kid's mommy and your happy and grateful listener.<br /><br />Diane<br /><br />
Staff
2016-01-04T18:59:00Z
In The End, It's All Worth It
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/In-The-End,-Its-All-Worth-It/888486295239083074.html
2015-12-18T18:59:00Z
2015-12-18T18:59:00Z
Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When I started my teaching career almost ten years ago, I longed for a job in a public school with thirty students to take under my wing and teach. In my mind that was the only way to be a teacher. But the only job I could get at the time was in a small private school, which closed one year later due to lack of funding. Several of us joined together to restart the school and we're now in our seventh year of operation. We have 20 students total from Kindergarten through eighth grade, so we're very small.<br /><br />We have a full-time administrator who doubles as a teacher, three full-time teachers and two part-time. One of us is there in the morning to greet the students and one of us is there at the end of the day to send them off in a positive way. Our social curriculum is as important as our academic one. We work tirelessly to teach our kids to be compassionate, loving, respectful and well-mannered individuals. Each week we focus on a different virtue, like integrity, responsibility or kindness and discuss how and why they should incorporate it into their daily lives. I have eight kids in my class full-time, so they get my undivided attention. I communicate with their parents daily. We keep our tuition exceptionally low so that a wider variety of families can afford us. That means the majority of our staff has to have a second job to make ends meet, but for us, it's worth it. <br /><br />Although I once thought that I wasn't a "real" teacher because I had such a small classroom, I realize that what we're doing is incredibly important and I wouldn't trade it for anything.<br /><br />Ann <br />
Staff
2015-12-18T18:59:00Z
Sticking Up For Your Spouse
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sticking-Up-For-Your-Spouse/-498521069181907701.html
2015-12-17T18:59:00Z
2015-12-17T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When I was a stay-at-home mom and my husband worked 2 jobs to keep things that way, his mother called. I was washing dishes and had wet hands, so I didn't pick up the phone. Our answering machine picked up the call, and I heard my mother-in-law angrily state that she had bought a swing set for her grandkids and none of her sons (my husband was the oldest of seven) had come to help her put it up. <br /><br />I didn't even know she had purchased a swing set. I thought about her tone and thought it was wrong of her to try to pull a guilt trip on my husband. If she only knew how hard he worked and how responsible he was. I called her back and said I didn't think it was right for her to be yelling at her son on an answering machine when he had been working day and night. I was so frustrated I started to cry, and she immediately backed down, saying she was sorry to upset me. We came to a mutual respect for one another that day, and since then we've become very close. <br /><br />My husband died of cancer seven years ago. She was there by his side along with me, helping every day. I have since re-married and she had us for Thanksgiving dinner last month. I cooked the turkey and she set the table. She is now 81 years old and she is as close as any girl could have to a mom. My own mother died four months after my husband. I wanted to let you know that sometimes sticking up for your man is just as important as a man sticking up for his wife!<br /><br />Jodi<br />
Staff
2015-12-17T18:59:00Z
There Is ALWAYS A Way!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/There-Is-ALWAYS-A-Way!/68844769603624177.html
2015-12-16T18:59:00Z
2015-12-16T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />I'm a stay-at-home mom. I made this decision long before I even met my husband because my mother stayed home with me and it was a wonderful experience. When my husband and I were dating and talking about marriage, I said that after we were married and looking to buy a house, we'd base the home price off of his income only and not ours combined. That way, when we had children, I could quit my full-time job to stay home with the kids and we could still afford the mortgage.<br /><br />His eyes got huge, and he was quiet for a while. He said "but we could buy a much bigger house if we both worked after having kids" and it was putting a lot of pressure on him to be the sole provider. I calmly explained that when we had kids I was not going to pay someone else to raise them. He thought about this for a couple of days, and then told me I was right. He had come from a broken home and was put in daycare, which he hated. <br /><br />Now I'm a happy mother of a 16 month son and I've been able to stay home with him from Day One. This has not been easy financially, and we sacrifice something almost daily to be able to do this. We have a small townhouse, I don't have a smartphone, and we eat out only on special occasions. But we enjoy the little things and it's a small price to pay for the happiness we get from being together and knowing this is such a short time to have these precious moments with our child. When I hear the "we can't afford for me to stay home" excuse, I think it's nonsense. Like you say all the time, there is ALWAYS a way! Thank you for being the biggest advocate for stay-at-home mom-dom!<br /><br />Carol<br />
Staff
2015-12-16T18:59:00Z
Finally Taking Your Advice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finally-Taking-Your-Advice/-71332230703698356.html
2015-12-15T18:59:00Z
2015-12-15T18:59:00Z
<br />Hello Dr. Laura: <br /><br />I am 50 years old, the wife of a prince, and the mother of three sons. I've listened to you for years, but have never really taken your advice for others to heart on how to treat kindly and be your husband's girlfriend....until now.<br /><br />Here are several things that have helped me make the transformation:<br /><ol>
<li>I love hearing about your successes with your workouts. I started doing Crossfit training and haven't looked back. I also ran two half-marathons with my husband in the last year and have never felt better. I am no longer on my Type 2 diabetes medication!</li>
<br />
<li>My husband has always wanted me to be more healthy and is so excited for his "new" woman/girlfriend.</li>
<br />
<li>I have really worked at putting into action your "treat kindly" admonition since I obviously "chose wisely," and my husband is generally a happy man. It really does work. And it doesn't take much to make him happy.</li>
<br />
<li>I wish I would have had my attitude adjustment sooner in life but from here forward, I'm going to remain my kids' mom and just as important, my husband's girlfriend.</li>
</ol><br />Thank you Dr. Laura for plugging away every day with the plain truth that people need to hear.<br /><br />Love you, <br /><br />Debbie in Texas <br />
Staff
2015-12-15T18:59:00Z
It's A Tough Job, But It's MY Job
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-A-Tough-Job,-But-Its-MY-Job/-469241657477578688.html
2015-12-14T18:59:00Z
2015-12-14T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Recently I heard a call from a physician's wife who was having a hard time dealing with his schedule and running the household. My husband isn't a physician, but he's a police officer. There are many similarities in their lifestyles, like crazy schedules with unscheduled interruptions. They both save lives, work extremely hard and are emotionally and physically drained when their day is done. My husband often brings the work home even though he tries hard not to. <br /><br />Sometimes I want to yell at him for sleeping until 2PM, not doing the dishes, or picking up after the kids. There are many times I wish he were more energetic and emotionally there. Then I pause and remember that he works in the middle of the night, doing 12 to 15 hour shifts. He deals with much more than the "average" person during work hours, and he works hard. I remember that he has woken up after 3 hours of sleep to attend our son's school program or coach Little League. He risks his life for us every day.<br /><br />As his wife, I have become the rock that everyone needs for consistency. It's a tough job, but it's MY job. My advice to callers like that physician's wife is to OWN it. You DO have a tough life and it's not going to change. Make it your job to find peace and be the glue that holds everything together. You might feel unappreciated, but your family won't think so. You'll be the sanity and the love they need. Know that all your hard work is truly needed and IS appreciated. Remember you have a great man, and you are the great wife he needs.<br /><br />Amy <br />
Staff
2015-12-14T18:59:00Z
Happy To Care For A REAL Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Happy-To-Care-For-A-REAL-Man/-907317707631139818.html
2015-12-11T18:59:00Z
2015-12-11T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm disgusted with women who've made it a mission to destroy all manliness in men while simultaneously whining about what deadbeats they are. My husband is not one of those men. Sure, he comes home stinky and dirty every day, expecting me to wash his clothes and clean the grimy shower. He spends time playing with his old trucks (and he has too many of them), and while I'm making dinner and doing dishes, he's on Craigslist looking for more trucks. Most of the time he doesn't even say thank you. I used to grumble about all these offenses and how hard it is to be married to such an insensitive man. Poor me!<br /><br />Then I began listening to your callers complaining about their men who cheat, abuse, neglect and disrespect them. Now I gladly wash my husband's dirty clothes in the new washer and dryer he bought me, and clean the grimy shower in the nice home he works so hard to pay for. If he wants an after-dinner snack because he's hungry again after a hectic day where he wasn't able to sit down and eat, I happily wipe the granite counters and load dishes into the fancy dishwasher he wore himself out to give me. Then I rub his tired feet and I climb into bed with this man who comes home to me every night, and I thank the Lord for his rough yet gentle calloused hands. I now understand he's exhausted and isn't likely to clean up after himself because he is a MAN - a real man who provides best for his family. I've never had to worry if we'd have food to eat or a roof over our heads, because my man would die before he would let us go without. Thank you for helping me see I picked a real MAN.<br /><br />Karen <br />
Staff
2015-12-11T18:59:00Z
The Importance of Making Your Child Feel Safe
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-of-Making-Your-Child-Feel-Safe/746178821759872647.html
2015-12-10T18:59:00Z
2015-12-10T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am a stay-at-home Mom. Many times, I've received confirmation that being my husband's girlfriend and staying at home with our son is the right answer, but one recent experience in particular really drove it home. <br /> <br />I was with our son in the nursery at church, and there were three other children there. One of the children has a stay-at-home Mom whose marriage is intact. The other two go to day care. One Mom shacks up with her boyfriend and the other Mom has a very turbulent relationship with her husband. My son and the other child whose Mom stays at home were calm and playing independently in different areas of the room. The two day care children were fighting over toys, pushing and shoving and yelling. The aggression was surprising and saddening. They never settled down.<br /><br />While I understand that a certain amount of noise and excitement is normal for busy toddlers and preschoolers, the difference in home life was very apparent in this group of children, and I believe wholeheartedly that it indicates the importance of Mommy and Daddy being married, Mommy staying home to raise babies, and both parents working together to keep home a safe and peaceful place. <br /><br />Mandy <br />
Staff
2015-12-10T18:59:00Z
I AM My Husband's Girlfriend!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-AM-My-Husbands-Girlfriend!/-736705370731421999.html
2015-12-09T18:59:00Z
2015-12-09T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband of 15 years is a chauffeur in a city known for its party scene, crazy nightlife and barely dressed women. He works a lot of late nights, and recently, he told me that the wife of one of his chauffeur buddies didn't like his friend working late nights because of all the attractive women he has to drive around. That surprised me, and then I wondered why I wasn't worried about the same thing! My husband has told me of numerous occasions when he's been propositioned by women in his car and has had intoxicated females falling all over him, groping him and harassing him! Why do I not sit up at all night ready to check his collar for lipstick? <br /><br />Then I realized I'm not worried because I butter his bread at home, I keep myself "up" for him, I take excellent care of his home and children, and make sure he always comes home to a hot meal. And I make sure he's taken care of in the bedroom quite regularly, so he's never out on the road "hungry," if you get my drift.<br /><br />I'm 38 years old and I know I'm not as young, firm or attractive as the cupcakes he has in his car every night, but I don't spend one minute of my day concerned that any 20-something girl is going to steal my husband. My husband has a WOMAN to come home to. Thanks for the wisdom you've shown me over the years, Dr. Laura. I've read "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060520620/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0060520620&linkCode=as2&tag=wwwdrlauracom-20&linkId=5AWR3PAVKGV2KTFV" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a>" no less than five times, and I AM my husband's girlfriend!<br /><br />Debbie<br />
Staff
2015-12-09T18:59:00Z
Addicted To 'Doing The Right Thing'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Addicted-To-Doing-The-Right-Thing/-402158788806784679.html
2015-12-08T18:59:00Z
2015-12-08T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I have a serious addiction. It has, at times, gotten in the way of my getting things done and has my husband expressing his concern. Some days I find myself starting up in the morning and binging all day until my husband gets home from work. Once I start, it's really hard to stop. The other day, my husband asked "Are you still listening to that podcast?"<br /><br />Every day when he gets home, he asks me "How's Dr. Laura doing today?" I love your show and one of the best things I've ever gifted myself with was a subscription to your podcast. I grew up listening to you with my dad, so your show is more than just great advice, but a reminder of the wonderful memories my dad and I shared listening to you. <br /><br />You've been a powerful influence on my life, and you've taught me how to be a good spouse, mother, daughter and friend. Thank you for being my Jiminy Cricket, and teaching me how to let my conscience be my guide!<br /><br />Abby <br />
Staff
2015-12-08T18:59:00Z
The Value Of Shame
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Value-Of-Shame/856396490787629266.html
2015-12-07T18:59:00Z
2015-12-07T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Since the 1960s, I've watched our society go from intact two-parent families to one-parent families and shack ups. I can't remember any daycare centers and never remember not being with my mother in my early childhood. I once ate a bottle of baby aspirin because I liked the taste. My mother told me that I swallowed 37 aspirins. When I asked her how she knew I had already eaten them, she said that she always opened the bottle and counted the pills and then subtracted the number of pills she gave me when she had to. My experience was typical in a society that acknowledged the value of marriage and the importance of the family unit. I think the seemingly irreversible downfall came when we lost the value of shame. I think the healthy dose of shame that was taught to my parents gave my sister and me a good and safe upbringing!<br /><br />Today, we no longer are allowed to expect people to be the best they can be. The institution of motherhood has been devalued by supposed advocates for women. Apart from your program, I don't see anyone who has the courage to accurately judge the subversion of our culture or to resurrect the boundaries that shame helped to contain for so long. Keep up the good work Dr. Laura!<br /><br />With admiration,<br /><br />Steve <br />
Staff
2015-12-07T18:59:00Z
'My Kingdom'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Kingdom/937690347606049309.html
2015-12-04T18:59:00Z
2015-12-04T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />I'm now 44 years old and a stay at home mom to eleven children. I recently found a poem that I wrote as a teenager, when I first listened to your show. I thought you might like to hear it. I call it "My Kingdom."<br /><br /><br /><em>You may close the door upon me and think when you are gone<br /></em><br /><em>"Poor thing...she's stuck at home all day."<br /></em><br /><em>How wrong, my dear, how wrong.<br /></em><br /><em>"I am the queen of my own castle," I said with such sway<br /></em><br /><em>"for I decide what things will fill the hours of my day."<br /></em><br /><em>There are diapers, true, and work that must be done.<br /></em><br /><em>But children keep me company and can make it sometimes fun.<br /></em><br /><em>I can take a walk with baby, whenever I may please.<br /></em><br /><em>And watch the robins peck for worms and taste the sweet spring breeze.<br /></em><br /><em>Or I may sit by the window, Dr. Laura book on my knee,<br /></em><br /><em>Or wonder strange enchanted dreams of worlds that used to be.<br /></em><br /><em>I've clothes to mend and tears to dry, toys strewn across the floor.<br /></em><br /><em>But I have children's laughter too. Who could ask for more?<br /></em><br /><em>You came home to me, dear, tired from a world that's cold.<br /></em><br /><em>And I have angel cheeks to kiss and golden hands to hold<br /></em><br /><em>And little arms around my neck and whispers in my ear.<br /></em><br /><em>Your world outside my kingdom walls, can't hold such treasures, dear.<br /></em><br /><br />Marianne <br />
Staff
2015-12-04T18:59:00Z
'The Greatest'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Greatest/-461606492492420462.html
2015-12-03T18:59:00Z
2015-12-03T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I recently heard a call you had from a mother telling you how her son got "nervous and nauseous" when playing for a baseball team where he wasn't one of the top players and the coach was tough. The mother wanted to remove him from the team, but you told her that learning how to deal with "not always being the best" was a good lifetime skills lesson.<br /><br />That reminded me of a Kenny Rogers song "The Greatest." It's about a little boy who goes out to practice baseball by himself - just with his bat and ball. He throws the ball up, "hears the hush of the crowd" but then the ball falls on the ground without his having hit it. He then picks the ball up again, "hears the hush of the crowd," and again, the ball falls to the ground. He does this a third time, and when the ball falls on the ground, he "strikes out." As he hears his mother calling him back to the house for dinner, he picks up the bat and ball and walks home telling himself "I didn't know I was such a great PITCHER!"<br /><br />A shift in attitude is all we need sometimes to make life great!<br /><br />Veronica<br />
Staff
2015-12-03T18:59:00Z
ANY Type Of Dating Requires You To Be Careful
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/ANY-Type-Of-Dating-Requires-You-To-Be-Careful/-515010924205769666.html
2015-12-02T18:59:00Z
2015-12-02T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I often hear you talking about online dating. I have a story to share about my experience. I met my husband on eHarmony. We'd been dating for almost a year when I was diagnosed with an aggressive type of breast cancer at age 36. He was there for me through a double mastectomy, sat by my side in the hospital through six rounds of hardcore chemotherapy, shaved my head when my long blonde hair started falling out, and helped me bathe when the pain from the nine surgeries was too great. He got down on one knee and proposed while my head was still completely bald and we married a few months later. Before we ever said "I do" I already knew I was marrying a man of great character who would be there in sickness and in health.<br /><br />Now six years later, he works hard so he can support our little family - two lovely dogs, one cat - while I attend graduate school to pursue my goal of becoming a psychologist. We never had children because of my illness, but we make the best out of life and we are grateful for each day. While the internet is indeed a haven for freaks and weirdos, it IS possible to find a wonderful person to share your life with. As with any other kind of dating, you have to be careful and discern if the person you are dating is right for you.<br /><br />My husband's biggest fan,<br /><br />Megan<br />
Staff
2015-12-02T18:59:00Z
Realization Of A New Father
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Realization-Of-A-New-Father/-950594436211186131.html
2015-12-01T18:59:00Z
2015-12-01T18:59:00Z
I heard you give some advice to a future father who was struggling with being the "culprit" in not being able to conceive. Recently, my wife and I had a similar experience. We went through fertility treatments assuming that the problem was with her. Turns out it was me.<br /><br />I went through the same emotions that caller did. We tried donor sperm and that failed. We then decided to go through adoption and late last year, our wonderful baby boy found us. I want to reiterate how right you were. Once you hold that child in your arms, once you change the poopy diapers, once your child falls asleep on you or grabs your finger with his little hand, all of that worry melts away and you realize that this is YOUR child. There is no doubt in my mind that he is MY son.<br /><br />Thank you for your advice to that father which indirectly helped me. Since listening to your show, I've become a better husband, father, friend and son.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Shawn<br />
Staff
2015-12-01T18:59:00Z
Learning To Find The Truth
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-To-Find-The-Truth/253089048885700549.html
2015-11-30T18:59:00Z
2015-11-30T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I have been working as a therapist since 2001, and full-time since 2010. Listening to your show helps me more than my education and years of workshops. The ridiculous "psychobabble" continues to grow and fester, and the truth gets lost. <br /><br />Many clients are so surprised by my approach, which is typically pretty direct and short-term. I get encouragement from you to be myself and speak the truth. We need encouragement to not follow blindly where the psychotherapy field is dragging us. There are those of us out there swimming against the tide, teaching skills that actually help, and not just massaging the problem week after week. Thank you so much for all that you have invested into my personal and professional life.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Joanne<br />
Staff
2015-11-30T18:59:00Z
Taking My 'Dr. Laura Vitamins'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-My-Dr.-Laura-Vitamins/-698730925384281371.html
2015-11-24T18:59:00Z
2015-11-24T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When a recent caller commented that she finds your show "entertaining," you seemed a little surprised, since your show is for serious topics, not just mere entertainment. But I have to admit that I find your quick wit and your on-the-spot anecdotes quite entertaining, and sometimes I laugh out loud.<br /><br />However, I also gain much more than a few chuckles from your program. Your shows are my "health vitamins" for my intellect and emotions. When my days get hectic and I'm irritated and overwhelmed, the first thing I do is to drop everything at hand and grab my phone and earbuds and listen to your podcast and get lost in the world of Dr. Laura's teachings. Once I start listening to you, I calm down. <br /><br />You often refer to the one cell amoeba knowing enough to move away from danger. I recently heard a show about how plants make decisions! They "decide" which way they need to grow so they can capture the most light, when to open up the flowers so they can be pollinated, when to shed leaves and prepare for new growth. I know these are brainless decisions, and HUMANS have the capability to make decisions with intentions, but I immediately thought of you when I heard this. As you always say, we need to make intentional decisions using our intellect. Since we have brains, we need to use them wisely. <br /><br />Chloe<br />
Staff
2015-11-24T18:59:00Z
Making My Children My World
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-My-Children-My-World/-673470660585243143.html
2015-11-23T18:59:00Z
2015-11-23T18:59:00Z
<br />Four years ago, I was pregnant and listening to you at work. As a six-figure-earning doctor with a cushy desk job, I had it all (or so I thought). I considered myself exempt from your stay-at-home mom preaching - I was a career woman who had been in school till I was 30, and I was about to become a mom, and unfortunately, I prioritized in that order. 9 weeks after my daughter was born, I was back at work. While your voice was speaking to me daily, I justified my situation by believing I was irreplaceable at work and that my flexible schedule permitted me to visit and breastfeed her during the workday as needed. Our high incomes allowed us to hire help, build a dream home and our precious daughter wouldn't want for anything....except maybe me. <br /><br />18 months later my husband got a job offer across the country. I grew some balls and told my employer that I was going to work remotely from home or not at all. It's been 2 years, and we now have a son. He's never been within the confines of an institutionalized childcare setting nor in the arms of a nanny. He is with me every day. As for my daughter, I'm raising a child who feels proximity to her mother despite the first year and a half. I still harbor significant regret, but it's never too late to do the right thing, become a real woman and "mommy-up." I've learned the hard way that you can never get that time back. <br /><br />My husband is happier, and my employer kept me on. I work before the kids get up, while they nap or after they go to bed. It's exhausting, but so rewarding to experience my kids on THEIR time, all the time. My ongoing story has a happy ending, but it took time, reflection, and resourcefulness to arrive here. If you bring those precious kiddos into this world, make them YOUR world from the beginning.<br /><br />Molly<br />
Staff
2015-11-23T18:59:00Z
Signing Up For Parenthood
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Signing-Up-For-Parenthood/-781871815270691905.html
2015-11-20T18:59:00Z
2015-11-20T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My first career was as a stay-at-home mom. My husband and I chose wisely and still treat each other kindly every day, 27 years and still going. We chose to build a family with me as the stay-at-home mom and never looked at that choice as a sacrifice.<br /><br />When people say they SACRIFICE to stay at home with their children, I wonder what's the matter with them. Of course, there are sacrifices. I would have loved to go out for lunch or gone shopping the few days when all three kids and the dog were throwing up. But I didn't. <br /><br />When you have kids, you sign up for a job that demands a lot of tireless effort, patience and devotion to the family including being your husband's girlfriend. How could this be NEWS to anyone? I loved the job, and I'm reaping the benefits as my adult children call often and enjoy visiting.<br /><br />Looking forward to grandchildren some day,<br /><br />Sheri <br /><br />
Staff
2015-11-20T18:59:00Z
Keeping My Priorities Straight
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-My-Priorities-Straight/41052609716886699.html
2015-11-19T18:59:00Z
2015-11-19T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />My ex-husband filed for divorce 20 years ago, and I realized afterward that I was the one who pushed him away. Then I started listening to your program, and I've learned a few things, like not saying negative things about their dad to my sons, not complaining about his not paying alimony or child support, and for the best interest of my boys, not to date until they turn 18. <br /><br />Since then, both my sons have grown up to be solid young men. They've married, have wives they love dearly, lovely families and good jobs. I'm currently taking care of my 90 year old parents full time. I did meet a man several years ago, and while we date, we aren't living together and haven't married. He understands that right now, my parents are my #1 priority.<br /><br />Dr. Laura, if not for you, I know I would have made many regretful choices. My sons' and my life most likely would be a mess. Your advice has kept me away from trouble and I can't thank you enough.<br /><br />Tonya<br />
Staff
2015-11-19T18:59:00Z
The Desire To Actively Raise My Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Desire-To-Actively-Raise-My-Children/-525718530754540411.html
2015-11-18T18:59:00Z
2015-11-18T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm a 28 year old stay-at-home mother of three. For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be a mother. Not just to pop out a few kids to accessorize my life, but to be present in their lives, actively raising them. When I was fourteen, I told my own mother that I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and make a loving home for my family. "That's it?" she said. "Not setting very high goals for yourself, are you? What a waste."<br /><br />Her response has stuck with me as the baseline for how I've felt about my life choices for a long time. I've struggled with feeling inferior because of my desire to actively raise my children and make them and my husband my main priority. I've found it difficult to find friends who share my opinions or even some that don't think the way I live my life is somehow taking a step backward for women's rights. Someone actually said to me that I must not value the sacrifices made during the women's rights movement because I'm choosing to be "just a homemaker."<br /><br />Last year, a good friend bought me a <a href="/podcasthelp" target="_blank">subscription to your podcast</a>. She said I'd really like listening to you because we share the same values. Finally! Someone who saw the stay-at-home world as I did! I listen every day and am so thankful for what you advocate for. You have honestly changed my life!<br /><br />Margie<br />
Staff
2015-11-18T18:59:00Z
Missing My Chance With Mr. Right
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Missing-My-Chance-With-Mr.-Right/-22086056067786028.html
2015-11-17T18:59:00Z
2015-11-17T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Here are some of my "dating deal breakers:"<br />
<ul>
<li><strong>Just because we both enjoy the same activities, doesn't mean we share the same values. </strong> I watch how he's there for me when things go sideways, or how he treats other people. If it's not what I know to be good behavior, that's a red flag and I know I should end it.</li>
<br />
<li><strong>He's moving too fast!</strong> He's pushy about spending time with me, and treats me after very few dates like you're his new best friend. I'm not flattered. And I know I should Run!</li>
<br />
<li><strong>He's irritated if I don't agree with him and challenges my thoughts and ideas. </strong>It's easy to second guess myself wondering if I'm not giving him a fair chance or just being too picky. Instead, I trust my gut feeling and my instincts.</li>
</ul>
I've learned that while I'm spending time, wasting time, or making time with Mr. Wrong, I might miss my opportunity with Mr. Right. Or worse yet, Mr. Right observes me with Mr. Wrong and figures that's the type of man I want to be with, so that must be the type of woman I am! <br /><br />Better to spend my Friday night going to that Zumba class!<br /><br />Tammy <br />
Staff
2015-11-17T18:59:00Z
I'm Not Wasting Anything, I'm INVESTING Everything!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Not-Wasting-Anything,-Im-INVESTING-Everything!/936288533855708860.html
2015-11-16T18:59:00Z
2015-11-16T18:59:00Z
<br />Dearest Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm married to the love of my life and we have two children. I recently watched one of your <a href="/b/Video:-Over-Educated-Stay-at-Home-Mom/853707572305294742.html" target="_blank">YouTube videos, about potentially "over-educated" stay-at-home moms</a>. I fall into that category! I was getting my Master's Degree in Education when I got pregnant. I never finished it and I have no regrets.<br /><br />Not only am I a stay-at-home mom, but I also homeschool our little ones. It's FUN. But what really made me giggle about your video was being my husband's girlfriend. Whenever my hubby gets home from work, my daughter, 9, and my son, 6, and I dance around and shout "Mommy's boyfriend is home! Mommy's boyfriend is home!" His homecoming is the highlight of our day, and he knows it. It never gets old.<br /><br />I have had lots of friends, family members and former co-workers whom I taught with for years tell me I am literally wasting my life and my talents by not continuing as a teacher, and not getting my Master's Degree. Oh really? It takes one look at my little son while he plays with a circuit board or my little daughter as she sings to know ...ummm...no, not <em>wasting </em>anything. Just INVESTING everything!<br /><br />Beatrice <br />
Staff
2015-11-16T18:59:00Z
The Door of Rejection
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Door-of-Rejection/-155941463898971178.html
2015-11-13T18:59:00Z
2015-11-13T18:59:00Z
<br />I learned the blessings of a "closed door" when I was 18 years old. I volunteered at an organization where I met a man who was 6 years older than me. Back then, I might have called it a "crush," but looking back, it was really an infatuation. I would have changed my opinions, beliefs and my interests for him. He said I was a nice girl, but too young for him to date.<br /><br />Not long after, I met another man. I actually told him that if the other guy changed his mind and DID want to date me, that I would end our relationship immediately. Now I wonder why this new guy stuck around and continued to date me, but I am so grateful he did, because nine years later, we've been married for 7 1/2 years and have three kids. <br /><br />I ran into my "fantasy" man a few years back, and he was overweight, dating a girl with five layers of makeup, and he was just not that exciting. My husband is skinny and sexy as the day we met. We both look back at that time and laugh. What seemed like a slammed door of rejection was actually a door opened so that I could find true love and respect with my husband!<br /><br />Tonya
Staff
2015-11-13T18:59:00Z
Raising Little Boys In To Little Men
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-Little-Boys-In-To-Little-Men/-947014145195181153.html
2015-11-12T18:59:00Z
2015-11-12T18:59:00Z
<br />I am a happy stay-at-home mom of two boys, and my Army husband's girlfriend. My 12 year old was to get paid twenty dollars to mow the yard and he did the task well. I took him to the store after he was finished to get the toy he had been wanting (which happened to cost twenty dollars). <br /><br />When my husband came home, he told our son how nice the yard looked and pulled twenty dollars out of his wallet and started to hand it over. My son said "No, Dad, Mom already gave me the money by buying this toy." Then I said to my husband "Since our son was so honest, why don't we let him keep the other twenty?" But my husband said "No, he got what he earned, and the reward is having the pride of what he worked for."I started to argue my point, but then the "Dr. Laura voice" in my head went off and I said okay and let it go.<br /><br />My son then came over to me and said "Mom, I didn't want that extra twenty anyway, because I didn't work for it. I'll mow the lawn NEXT week and then get the twenty after I've earned it."That's when I realized a growing boy needs a Dad like my husband and we moms need to stand down to let the transformation take place. While I don't like it that he's not my "baby" anymore, I'm ever so proud of the man he's becoming.<br /><br />Thank you for being that voice in my head telling me to "shut up" and let Dad do his job!<br /><br />Jenni
Staff
2015-11-12T18:59:00Z
It Took A Momma Bear To Do The Job
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Took-A-Momma-Bear-To-Do-The-Job/622008397189024470.html
2015-11-11T18:59:00Z
2015-11-11T18:59:00Z
<br />Hi, Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My sister takes the train to work, and on her way home the other evening, there was a man in his 30s or 40s on the train who was trying to get the attention of women walking by or sitting near him. He leaned around the seat in front of him and talked to the girls there. They were clearly uncomfortable. There was a young woman sitting next to him who eventually gave up her seat during the rush hour commute to get away from him. <br /><br />Then he noticed my sister sitting alone. He tried to get her attention, but since she had witnessed his behavior, she ignored him. Then he sat down next to her and started pleasuring himself in full view of everyone! Not one man came to any of these ladies' aid. When this man started taking the hand of a shy looking girl nearby, my sister got up in the middle of the train car and yelled at the man to leave the young girl alone and to go away. After strongly telling him to go away several times, he walked away. She and another passenger called the rail police, the train was stopped and the man was removed. <br /><br />There must not have been any fathers of girls on the train that day, because not one man said or did anything. Even a MALE would have done something. It took a woman with a momma bear's heart to take him down. I'm very proud of her.<br /><br />Alice<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2015-11-11T18:59:00Z
Acceptance Is The Key
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Acceptance-Is-The-Key/-950538838369418764.html
2015-11-10T18:59:00Z
2015-11-10T18:59:00Z
<br />My mother always seemed to enjoy my sister much more than me. It made me jealous, but then I heard you talking to a caller about the same thing, and you said "That is the relationship. Either learn how to deal with it or have no relationship." I did just that. I realized my sister was much needier of my mother's attention than I, and I was much more independent than my sister. Once I just accepted the relationship the way it was....wow, what a difference! <br /><br /> It's been more than 20 years now, but my mom, sister and I have a lot of fun and very much enjoy our time together. My mother still does more with my sister when we're together, but that's the way it is. So I wanted to say "thank you" for that long-ago advice. Without it, I don't know how our relationship would have been all these years, but as it stands, we just came back from a fantastic weekend away to celebrate my birthday. <br /><br /> Thank you! <br /><br /> Cindy
Staff
2015-11-10T18:59:00Z
I Would Never Put My Children Through Divorce
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Would-Never-Put-My-Children-Through-Divorce/-476102865764421468.html
2015-11-09T18:59:00Z
2015-11-09T18:59:00Z
<br /> My parents divorced when I was 7, my sister was 5, and my brother was not even a year old. While we weren't aware of the details back then, we later found out that our father was abusive to our mother. After the divorce, she met and married another man, and we kids endured their constant displays of affection, but we received very little attention from our mom, as she was totally engrossed in her new husband. We felt alone, as if we only had each other. <br /><br /> I was thrilled to get away from home when I was sent to a boarding high school not far from where we lived. While there, I was fortunate to witness some pretty terrific marriages (I worked for the guidance counselor and spent time with his family regularly). Because I saw that happy marriages and families really did exist, I thought that just maybe it wasn't too much for ME to hope for. Even though I had some warped relationships through high school, by the time I finished college, I had matured and focused on the positive relationships I had witnessed rather than the negative ones.<br /><br />When I met my husband, I made it plain to him that when I did get married, it was going to be for keeps. I had no intention of ever putting my children through a divorce. His parents were still married, so he had no concept of what divorce was like. Fortunately, he "got" what I said. We've been married for 24 years and have three children. We love, respect and support each other through everything - the good, the bad (we lost a child when he was nearly 5 months old) and yes, even the ugly. I love him more today than ever, and he says he feels the same.<br /><br />Tracy<br />
Staff
2015-11-09T18:59:00Z
Wow! It Really Works!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Wow!-It-Really-Works!/967209330250231190.html
2015-11-06T18:59:00Z
2015-11-06T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />All my life, I've been around women who complain openly about their husbands, and what their men don't do for THEM. I never joined in on the husband bashing, because compared to their "horror stories," my husband was a saint! But over the past year, I've fallen into the "victim wife" pattern - I was disappointed, because he wouldn't make special occasions "special" enough. He would almost never bring me flowers or other small gifts. Then I stumbled on your book "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060520620/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0060520620&linkCode=as2&tag=wwwdrlauracom-20&linkId=5AWR3PAVKGV2KTFV" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a>," and it was a revelation! It made me realize that my husband was coming home to a grouch - ME!<br /><br />Last week, I tried an experiment that you mentioned in your book. Instead of complaining about the kids driving me crazy, I instead asked him how HIS day was. I spoke with a cheerful voice. I didn't hang out in my pajamas all day. I showered and fixed my hair. I had dinner ready when he came home, and I greeted him at the door happily and not with a tirade of the day's affairs. I took care of our baby so he could relax and enjoy his meal. We had a wonderful romantic evening. <br /><br />The next day I continued the same behavior, and when he walked in the door from work, he had a bouquet of flowers in his hands. All I can say is "Wow! It really works!Thank you for reminding me of the wonderful power we women have for change in our homes.<br /><br />Christie<br />
Staff
2015-11-06T18:59:00Z
Pushing The Envelope
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Pushing-The-Envelope/-208353218391986849.html
2015-11-05T18:59:00Z
2015-11-05T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />As a fellow sailor, I'm sure you will appreciate this short story about 'going for it.' I was a boy of about 12 when this happened. We were at an annual championship sailing regatta on Long Island Sound, racing 'Blue Jays' which were small two-person boats with mainsail, jib and spinnaker. I was a small, skinny kid, and my 'crew' was Mimi, a tall skinny girl who weighed about 70 pounds. <br /><br />The wind was howling when we got on the water and some of the parents and kids decided not to even go out. The race started and we tacked furiously to the windward mark. As we neared the mark, we were in about 20th place. Mimi looked at me like I was crazy when she realized I was going to put the spinnaker up. Of course, as a sailor, you know the risks involved. We rounded the mark and promptly set our spinnaker, and started passing every single boat with a full head of steam. We hung on for dear life and the boat was barely under control. We fluctuated between scared and elated. As we got to the end of the leg, some of the other boats started doing the same thing.<br /><br />Unfortunately for us, one of the other boats caught us and after a spirited, match race style battle beat us by a boat length. I was disappointed in the result but I never would have even been in that position if Mimi and I hadn't 'gone for it.' We were wet, cold, and tired, and we pushed the envelope. We finished second that day, but still made the Sports section of the New York Times!<br /><br />John (now 53) in Houston.<br />
Staff
2015-11-05T18:59:00Z
Parenting Is Hard, Support Your Spouse
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parenting-Is-Hard,-Support-Your-Spouse/-406242288619538917.html
2015-11-04T18:59:00Z
2015-11-04T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Our home has been dominated by a 17-year-old overachieving, insensitive know-it-all, our son. He has never done anything immoral or fattening, and we count our blessings that he is a straight A student, active volunteer and all around great guy in the public eye. <br />Lately, he's been actively trying our patience and after a particularly awful 24 hours of interaction with him and his college advisor, my husband and I both felt like we had been rubbed against a cheese grater for days. After we had a calm in the storm, I sent the following email to my husband:<br />
<blockquote><em>I want you to know that I think you are a spectacular father. I know it's hard for you to believe that when you have a child who is constantly telling you that you aren't, but you truly are! You're the kind of father I wanted for my children and the man that I was hoping I would marry when I was a young woman. You have tried your best and that's all I ever hoped for. I'm proud of you. Love, me.</em></blockquote>
My husband felt really appreciated. Long after our son is off at college, my husband and I will still have each other. I hope you will remind your listeners that they need to offer praise and gratitude to their spouses especially when their teen children are at their most trying.<br /><br />Jeanne <br />
Staff
2015-11-04T18:59:00Z
I Chose Wisely And Will Always Treat Kindly
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Chose-Wisely-And-Will-Always-Treat-Kindly/-621904988356208683.html
2015-11-03T18:59:00Z
2015-11-03T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I met my husband at work, when I was 24 and he was 32. I had a major crush on him for a few months before he asked me out and we began dating. Whenever I've been asked how I knew he was "the one," or what made me fall in love with him, I have always answered that it was because of his commitment to seeing me and taking me out.<br /><br />Every time I came home from a date with him, I would receive a text message telling me that he had a great time with me, and asking when we could go out again. All of our dates were planned within 24 hours of the previous date. I never had to spend a minute wondering how much he liked me, or how much he wanted to spend time with and get to know me. <br /><br />I didn't listen to your program back then as religiously as I do now, but I realize in retrospect that I chose wisely and will always treat kindly.<br /><br />Stacy <br />
Staff
2015-11-03T18:59:00Z
111
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/111/118005344350797549.html
2015-11-03T18:59:00Z
2015-11-03T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm 28, married, starting a family and until recently, I was completely lost. Adopting my new identity as a mom, I thought I was losing everything else I worked so hard for. Before marriage, I was inspired to pursue a career in teaching. After staying home with our newborn baby boy for three months, I had a "now what" feeling. Everything we ever hoped for was coming to fruition, but I still had a sense of longing to return to the work I had hardly had a chance to start. Feelings of resentment toward the new and miraculous, yet demanding, phase in my life left me second-guessing all my choices.<br /><br />Then I heard you mention your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Praise-Stay-At-Home-Moms/dp/0061690295" target="_blank">In Praise of Stay at Home Moms</a></em>" on the air. I bought it, and it turned my world around. One of the lines that really spoke to me was: "<em>In life, everything - everything - has good and bad elements</em>." I'm still learning the lesson that the "bad" should never be the end of the story, nor what guides your decisions, especially not where there also exists the "good" and the "unforgettable." I decided right then and there that I want my "good and bad" elements to be with my son, not away from him, and that I wasn't going to let my "bad" experience of leaving my teaching dreams behind be a perceived end of my life, nor would I let it tarnish the good.<br /><br />Now instead of feeling sorry for myself, I'm energized and excited for every future moment. Thank you for showing me the TRUE wealth that exists when a woman commits herself to the loving work of a career as a stay-at-home mom. If there are other "on the fence" women out there, please read this book! I'm also back to being my husband's girlfriend again, and our marriage is just great.<br /><br />Allie<br />
Staff
2015-11-03T18:59:00Z
Continuing Your Career, As A Stay-At-Home Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Continuing-Your-Career,-As-A-Stay-At-Home-Mom/76990863184690339.html
2015-11-02T18:59:00Z
2015-11-02T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I was recently out with friends and many of them were trying to avoid picking up their children from day care because they had more work and things to do in their day. They seemed burdened by having children! <br /><br />My mother always taught my sisters and me that we were to go to college, get a job, and if we chose to get married and have children, continue our CAREERS as stay-at-home moms, and not drop them off at a "kennel" (what my mom called day care) every day. I always thought that was normal until I grew up and realized people actually were burdened by their children!<br /><br />Our home was full of love. My dad provided for the family while my mom was always on time to pick us up from school, give us lots of hugs, cook, clean and make sure we were doing our homework. I can't wait to leave my kids little notes about how proud I am of them and be the best wife and mother I can be - just like my mom. <br /><br />I'm now working and dating a man who is much like my father - kind, hardworking, loving and respectful of me. We plan to attend premarital counseling, and once we eventually marry each other, I'll stay at home and have the best full-time job in the world - being a mother. Thank you for teaching that being a mother is not a burden, but the best job that a wife and woman can have on this planet.<br /><br />Mariah<br />
Staff
2015-11-02T18:59:00Z
The Responsibility Of Being A New Mommy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Responsibility-Of-Being-A-New-Mommy/798617694457282181.html
2015-10-29T17:59:00Z
2015-10-29T17:59:00Z
<br />I've been a loyal listener since I was 10 years old, and now as a 31-year-old stay-at-home mom, I feel like you have been most helpful to me at this stage in my life. I married a kind, loving, honest, strong man, and we both saved ourselves for marriage. At the time, I thought remaining a virgin until I was married was one of the hardest choices I'd ever make. Making the choice to be a stay-at-home mom who gladly gave up a lucrative career in corporate America, however, has turned out to be an even harder choice.<br /><br />While I know I've made the right decision and love my new "job" as a mom, there's not a lot of support from society, friends and sometimes family for us stay-at-home moms. The world rewards women who "do it all," which translates to dumping their kids in day care while they do more "important" things like work at places where no one loves or depends on them like a child does. <br /><br />My days are long and sometimes frustrating. I rarely have time to shower, and I don't earn a paycheck anymore. Our income was cut in half when I quit, but I've never been happier. Knowing I get to spend every second possible with my 1 year old brings tears of joy to my eyes every time I think about it. My heart breaks for working moms who don't understand that they're throwing away the best gift life can offer: being a MOMMY. I am so lucky to be my son's mom, and so lucky that my man supports our family.<br /><br />Thank you for your advice of choosing wisely, treating kindly, and most importantly, continuing to stress the importance of raising your own children. Kids grow up in the blink of an eye, and I know I won't have missed anything.<br /><br />Linda<br /><br />
Staff
2015-10-29T17:59:00Z
Making You AND Your Husband Happy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-You-AND-Your-Husband-Happy/-528596055047671003.html
2015-10-28T17:59:00Z
2015-10-28T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I didn't want to become a nag, but I did anyway. I learned a few things that have helped me understand my husband better and how nagging undermines our relationship. These have enabled me to stop nagging and still get him to do most of the things I ask:<br /><ol>
<li>Nagging is received as disrespectful, making it not only annoying, but damaging to the relationship. The more I nagged, the more he withdrew.</li>
<br />
<li>Who knew that saying something only once (but in a nagging attitude or tone) is received as nagging?</li>
<br />
<li>Who knew that you have to be willing to say things more than once, but in a sweet tone? His priorities are not the same as mine, but because he loves me, if I treat him with respect, he's more likely to cooperate.</li>
<br />
<li>I need to prioritize my requests and not turn them into a burden or an impossibly long to-do list. He needs to know how he can please me.</li>
<br />
<li>I need to express appreciation when he does what I ask, not just dismiss it as if it was something he should have been doing anyway. It doesn't cost me anything to be nice, and it makes for a happy husband.</li>
</ol>Now, we're BOTH happy!<br /><br />Dale<br />
Staff
2015-10-28T17:59:00Z
It Starts With Respect
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Starts-With-Respect/-376631116032006785.html
2015-10-27T17:59:00Z
2015-10-27T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am a happily married man, and my wife and I will celebrate our 10th anniversary this year. She is the most important person in my world, and not a single day goes by that I do not marvel at who she is and how lucky I am to share a life with her. We are often asked why it is that we have such a remarkable marriage. It starts with respect. When I met her, I knew I wanted to be with a woman I respected, genuinely admired, and who felt the same about me. <br /><br />We have been through some hefty life trials - the sort that bring out each other's strengths and weaknesses. We have both seen each other at our worst, and we love each other more for it. We've weathered a few storms knowing there will be more to come, but we show each other love and respect, kindness and consideration. And we show it every day.<br /><br />We start every morning with a kiss and a kind word - not because we have to, but because we want to. We ask each other: "Honey, what can I do for you today?" We text each other during the day. We never once speak down to the other or call each other ugly names. We hug. Each night we spoon each other to sleep. Our marriage isn't perfect - we argue, and at times, we seem to be on different pages. But our sweet, simple daily routine anchors us to our vows. We cherish each other. Truly. Thank you, Dr. Laura for reminding all of us to treat our wives and husbands with the love and respect we vowed to honor them with at the altar.<br /><br />Shawn<br />
Staff
2015-10-27T17:59:00Z
The Battle To Raise Responsible Young Adults
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Battle-To-Raise-Responsible-Young-Adults/341066769125385683.html
2015-10-26T17:59:00Z
2015-10-26T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I have been a teacher for 20 years, and the last five I've gone back to teaching high school. For the first time, I feel hopeless.<br /><br />The explosion of divorce, mixed with the rise of cellphone use has contributed to the ruination of my profession. Even though the rule in my classroom is "no electronics," cellphones go off during the whole period, with kids taking selfies, listening to music, texting, Facebooking, Snapchatting and even talking with phones to their ears, all while I'm teaching! Some other teachers and even the school administrators buy into the saying "this is what this generation is - let them use their phones to help them learn!" Unfortunately, the kids AREN'T learning by doing this, and many even try to cheat in my foreign language class by using "Google Translate."<br /><br />Although I've tried numerous times to explain to parents that this behavior often leads to their children's bad grades, the problem is that it's the PARENTS who are sometimes texting and sending selfies of their "cute" new hair cut to their kids while the kids are in class. That's why I love it when you get a call from a parent shocked that their teenager is getting texted "smut" on his or her cellphone. You consistently tell parents the child shouldn't have a cellphone to begin with, but with divorce rates high, they seem to want to be their child's best friend and not their parent. <br /><br />Teachers are often blamed when the test results are low, but it's a two-way street. Keep up the good fight to continue to hold parents accountable for raising responsible young adults. From my perspective, it looks like it's a battle on the verge of being lost.<br /><br />Disillusioned Teacher<br />
Staff
2015-10-26T17:59:00Z
My 'Aha Dr. Laura' Moment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Aha-Dr.-Laura-Moment/361375420168507418.html
2015-10-23T17:59:00Z
2015-10-23T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I rushed into a marriage at 20 years old to a man I had known on the Internet for 3 months. It was the single, most foolish decision I had ever made. My parents and friends disapproved, but I was bullheaded and wanted an "adventure." After 4 years of marriage to this alcoholic mean man (no kids, thank goodness) I had my "aha Dr Laura" moment. "How do I want to live between now and dead?" I packed up my car with 3 suitcases and drove 1500 miles to move back in with my parents and get back on my feet. <br /><br />Nine years later, I married a true-blue man who I know beyond a shadow of a doubt will defend me, care for me, support me, and give me beautiful babies! This time, I WAITED for him. I want to tell your listeners to enjoy the waiting process. I had many wonderful experiences with just me and my friends and family, and those helped develop my character and personality, without rushing into finding another man to fulfill my needs. When we did meet and finally marry, we had the most romantic and heartfelt wedding in my parent's country yard with 50 of our closest friends and family. <br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura for helping women like myself raise the bar on respecting ourselves. I pray that your nagging little voice NEVER leaves my head and that I will always treat my gem of a husband with the proper care and feeding he so deserves. Please never ever stop preaching your message of how to REALLY take care of a man!<br /><br />Rochelle<br />
Staff
2015-10-23T17:59:00Z
Conquering My Inner Critic
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Conquering-My-Inner-Critic/774091615918760828.html
2015-10-22T17:59:00Z
2015-10-22T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Inner critics are pesky fellows and hard to banish. One thing that has helped me greatly is to face my critic head on. For example, I used to be very afraid to speak in public. I knew I would be terrible at it and only humiliate myself.<br /><br />The first time I could not avoid public speaking was for a class assignment. I was stunned at the positive response I received. Each time I spoke in front of people, I got less nervous. I began to receive compliments on my teaching ability. What those people didn't know was that I often pretended in my own head to be another woman who I admired as a teacher, and imitated her teaching style. Eventually, I was able to drop that little mechanism and today, I don't get nervous at all.<br /><br />Having a supportive husband also helps, and we now teach marriage classes together at our church.<br /><br />Dale <br />
Staff
2015-10-22T17:59:00Z
Battling Mental Illness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Battling-Mental-Illness/-242832984993446441.html
2015-10-21T17:59:00Z
2015-10-21T17:59:00Z
<br />After 13 years of a happy, normal marriage, my husband snapped under the pressure of supporting four kids and a stay-at-home wife. I didn't realize his mood swings were caused by undiagnosed paranoid schizophrenia. For over 3 years we were able to hold our family together with treatment and medication, but the doctor adjusted his meds to reduce side effects, resulting in delusions and paranoia. My urgency to get him hospitalized was dismissed because he had a non-violent history.<br /><br />Then one night, my husband woke up our children (ages 15, 11, 8 and 5) to pray for their salvation so that their souls passed into heaven. It was then that my 17 years of listening to you kicked in. Your words reminded me to record his rants about the end of the world, and his determination to save us all from evil and bring us into God's kingdom. This recording assured his admittance on a psych hold. It was your guidance that gave me the courage to file a protection order in court the next day. When I doubted myself, your words reminded me that if I were to err, it was on the side of protecting my children. Within 2 weeks police detectives arrived to report my husband had been found dead in a hotel room. When the pain and grief of failing him were overwhelming, it was your voice that comforted and assured me it wasn't my fault and I had no control over his tragic death. Without your years of guidance, our unfortunate situation would have turned out a lot worse. <br /><br />Today, we are a happy, healthy stable, loving family. I don't date, and I do my best to keep a calm, secure home. I focus on raising kind, compassionate, strong children. Keep doing what you do and know you make a difference.<br /><br />Much love, <br /><br />Mica <br />
Staff
2015-10-21T17:59:00Z
Raising Critical Thinkers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-Critical-Thinkers/-950040911808825081.html
2015-10-20T17:59:00Z
2015-10-20T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />My girls were singing along to a popular song in the car on our way to dance class. I was enjoying the upbeat song as well, but also listening carefully to the words. I waited until the song was over, then I turned down the volume and said cheerily, "Well, actually it depends on WHAT his flaws are and WHAT he was locked away for." They looked at me. The lyrics said "if I got locked away, would you still love me the same....if I showed you my flaws would you still love me the same?"<br /><br />They just stared at me, but I went on. "I mean, is it a SERIOUS flaw, one that would make life with him difficult or miserable, like, is he an alcoholic or a cheat? These would not be flaws to accept. And if he's singing about a metaphorical "locked away," that's one thing, but if he has ever been locked away for anything, run, girls, run!"<br /><br />"Mom, we weren't listening to the words.""Well, you should, and don't heed the advice. It's bad advice, overly romantic and will lead you into trouble. Don't date a guy with a lot of flaws, and don't be a girl with a lot of flaws. But I know you won't." In unison, they said "We know, Mom," and I cheerily turned the radio back on. <br /><br />Listening to you, Dr. Laura, has helped make me an even more critical thinker. Hopefully, I am raising daughters who will be too.<br /><br />Theresa <br />
Staff
2015-10-20T17:59:00Z
Going To Bat For Stay At Home Mommies
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Going-To-Bat-For-Stay-At-Home-Mommies/626758325527597021.html
2015-10-19T17:59:00Z
2015-10-19T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband is in the military, and we're at a rather remote base. Because it's so remote, I joined the Facebook page for spouses here to network, find out about activities and so on. On a DAILY basis, some woman is posting looking for a daycare to take her kids. More often than not, the child is either a six WEEK old, or a 1 or 2 year old, and they're looking for full time childcare. These women sound desperate and will plead for just about anyone to take their kids. I get tears in my eyes thinking of these poor children and their lack of "mommy" in their lives. The daycare on base is full, and the rule is if the temperature is at least 10 degrees (we're in a cold climate), the kids play outside three times a day!<br /><br />I'm not yet a mother; I'm a stay-at-home housewife. We are living off one income, so that when a child comes along, it will be an easier financial transition. I'm also a member of our local base book club, and when it's my turn to choose the book, my choice is going to be "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Praise-Stay-at-Home-Moms-Laura-Schlessinger/dp/0061690309/ref=la_B000APX9H6_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1445280689&sr=1-5" target="_blank">In Praise of Stay at Home Moms</a>." I know there will be backlash, anger and putdowns, but I've learned from you that it's all because of their guilty feelings of not being mothers to their children. I'm prepared to go to bat for the book, even if I can reach just ONE of these moms. What you do every day for mothers, wives and families is priceless. <br /><br />Your forever grateful listener,<br /><br />Samantha<br />
Staff
2015-10-19T17:59:00Z
The Power of Parenting
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Power-of-Parenting/-746555782913267151.html
2015-10-16T17:59:00Z
2015-10-16T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />As a former pre-school teacher, I'm stunned by mothers who call your show convinced that their young children need a pre-school education. Moms and dads can do so much more with their children at home than I ever could juggling 20 little ones. They can cuddle with them in bed and read to them, pointing at things in the pictures and making connections between what's happening in the book and what's happening in their own lives. With 20 charges, I couldn't stop and risk losing the other kids' focus and interrupting the flow of the story. As for math, parents should count everything with their children. Have them put together pairs of socks and count by twos. For writing, have them practice their letters by writing in pudding! Get creative.<br /><br />I resigned my preschool job, disgusted with the government influence in my classroom. I had a child with severe special needs, and I inherited his whole early intervention team, who did nothing to help him, but were always documenting, documenting and documenting some more. This child would push and hit other children, but his team always blamed the other kids. I was not allowed to say "he hits." In the name of political correctness and everything stupid, I had to say "he's handsy!" <br /><br />Thanks, Dr. Laura for encouraging and empowering parents. They can teach their children so much more in a matter of minutes than the best pre-school teacher can do in hours.<br /><br />Fondly,<br /><br />Nancy. <br />
Staff
2015-10-16T17:59:00Z
Lazy Parenting
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lazy-Parenting/259830614975933355.html
2015-10-15T17:59:00Z
2015-10-15T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />During the 23 years I was a school secretary, I heard every excuse from parents for their child's misbehavior: "She had to be late to class because her boyfriend broke up with her," "Yes, he did have my permission to miss school yesterday;" "My daughter would never have talked back to that teacher if he hadn't given her an F on the test," and the list goes on. My conclusion is that many parents today would rather face down a teacher, principal, child's boss or another parent than face down their own child! They're afraid of them - afraid they won't be considered the "cool parents" or their "buddies."<br /><br />That was never the case in our house, where my husband and I raised six children. We were busy feeding, clothing and sheltering our family. Today all six children are on their own with families that they support and raise. They have jobs and are all active in their churches and communities. They love each other and respect and love us. We were proud to be the "uncool parents" when they were growing up! <br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura for being a voice of reason in a world of parents too lazy to be consistent or unpopular.<br /><br />Theresa<br />
Staff
2015-10-15T17:59:00Z
Picking My Battles
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Picking-My-Battles/-700198093631742240.html
2015-10-14T17:59:00Z
2015-10-14T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I think it was divine intervention that I listened to you recently when you spoke with two callers about "feminine wiles." Earlier that morning, I was upset with my husband and harshly told him : 'TONIGHT - we need to talk!!"<br /><br />He left for work knowing I was mad, but this sweet man didn't know why. I had made plans to "confront" him that night with something he had been doing that annoyed me. Then I heard your call with the couple where you talked about how much power we women hold when it comes to the emotions of our husbands. I am so thankful I was listening at that moment, because it hit me that with one "confrontation" I was about to have with my husband, it would have crushed him emotionally. <br /><br />The first thing my husband said when he came home was "I'm ready to talk about what's upsetting you so I can make it better." I cried, put my arms around him, gave him a big kiss and told him "it wasn't that important." I know that if I HAD had that "confrontation," he would have been hurt. He possesses so many wonderful qualities that I'm ashamed that I was focusing only on one.<br /><br />All the best,<br /><br />Jennifer <br />
Staff
2015-10-14T17:59:00Z
A Father's Job
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Fathers-Job/706652104199275307.html
2015-10-13T17:59:00Z
2015-10-13T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Hi, Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I recently heard you tell a woman that it's the father's job to lay down the law regarding their teenage daughter's boyfriend. I'm now 63, but when I was about 15, a boy walked me home from school, and carried my books and his the whole distance. When my father got home from work, he noticed the boy's report card sitting on top of his books on the kitchen table. My father read his report card, and saw that it was full of bad grades!<br /><br />My dad immediately stormed into the living room where we were sitting on the couch, report card in hand, and said to him: "Get the hell home, boy, and start studying!! No one sees my daughter with grades like these!!"<br /><br />The boy jumped up, grabbed his things and ran home. My mother and I sat, shocked, but neither of us even considered questioning my dad. That was my first boyfriend, but every guy after that knew exactly what my father expected, because he made no bones about telling them before we could leave for our date. My father also always gave me money in front of the guy, so I could call him if I had any trouble! <br /><br />Thanks for all that you do!<br /><br />Cynthia<br />
Staff
2015-10-13T17:59:00Z
The Importance of Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-of-Love/312039978972858175.html
2015-10-12T17:59:00Z
2015-10-12T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My husband died on July 8 of pancreatic cancer, nine months after being diagnosed. He was 53. Rather than put all the focus on the devastating diagnosis, letting cancer rule his time, we decided to take control. I was his cheerleader. It was all about living each day as it came, finding things to be grateful for, like unexpected rainbows, deer sightings, a good nap, laughter and even tears. We shared our favorite memories, thanked God for the gift of each other, and cherished each day.<br /><br />I tried to think of his favorite things and did them. We held each other tight, and shared with our 18 year old daughter, showing her the importance of love and communication. We filmed a father-daughter dance so that when or if she gets married, she will have it to remember her father who loved her so. <br /><br />Some people didn't understand the need for positive talk, uplifting spirit, God and prayer. I protected my husband, and I learned from YOU, Dr. Laura, the importance of love, communication and standing by your man. My daughter started college this year, and I went to my first group loss support group this week. My heart hurts all the time and I miss him so much, but I am walking forward, knowing he will always be with me. Thank you, Dr. Laura for teaching me how to be a better wife and a good Mom.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Dawn <br />
Staff
2015-10-12T17:59:00Z
Mommy Powers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mommy-Powers/666888559124220652.html
2015-10-09T17:59:00Z
2015-10-09T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am a stay-at-home mom. I enrolled our 4 1/2 year old daughter in pre-school, because my husband thought it was the best thing for her and that she wouldn't get the social interaction she "needed" if she didn't start now. So I found the best private pre-school I could find and enrolled her for three days a week. My gut feeling told me not to send her, even though I knew my younger son would get more one-on-one "mommy" time if she did start pre-school. <br /><br />I looked at the pre-school curriculum and discovered that we had already covered extensively at home some of what they would be "teaching." I happened to listen to you on a day when you were covering the reasons why children don't belong in preschool. I spoke to my husband and showed him numerous studies that indicate preschools only help children who have a horrible home life. So I dis-enrolled her, and now she's a big help with her little brother. They tinker around the house, we play, bake, count, measure, write the alphabet, and have so much fun doing it all. We also get out and get social interaction at least twice a week. My son and I will certainly miss her when she finally starts kindergarten. Thank you, Dr. Laura for helping me to use my "mommy powers" to help my children!<br /><br />Lauren<br />
Staff
2015-10-09T17:59:00Z
A Message To Working Moms
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Message-To-Working-Moms/-465550119095125181.html
2015-10-08T17:59:00Z
2015-10-08T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am battling Stage 4 cancer for the second time in three years. I don't look at statistics and am not planning on dying anytime soon. I have three wonderful young adult children to watch grow, and I WILL see my daughter get married next summer.<br /><br />I was a stay-at-home mom and would never, ever, ever trade that for anything. A day in the life of my children consisted of making green or pink pancakes for breakfast, walking to the creek to throw pine cones in the stream, buying a container of ladybugs and watching them fly away, building forts, playing games for hours, moving the arms of mannequins at the mall and then hiding, and much more. My kids often bring up things that I have even forgotten - they have plenty of memories of fun silly things we did as a family . I recently read an article about working moms and how rushed they were - to the point that some forgot to feed their kids breakfast. My kids' memories never included that kind of experience.<br /><br />So to working moms out there: you have absolutely no idea what you're missing, and coming from someone who might not be around much longer, <em>quit your job and stay home!</em> You will never ever ever regret it.<br /><br />Helen <br />
Staff
2015-10-08T17:59:00Z
I Have Never Felt This Secure
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Have-Never-Felt-This-Secure/511106837689919860.html
2015-10-07T17:59:00Z
2015-10-07T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I've drafted this email to you "in my head" for years, and I recently got married, so I thought it was the appropriate time to send it!<br /><br />My dad walked out on our family. My mom got jobs during hours my sister and I were at school and made sure to always be there for us, whatever the cost. She raised us alone on six dollars an hour, and didn't miss one recital, one bedtime, one dinner at home. So, as a typical young idiot woman, I ignored all her wonderful qualities and focused solely on my absent father. I spent the better part of my twenties trying to break men's hearts so I could walk away with an upper hand for a change. This left me feeling lonely, sad, and unlovable. Then I found you. I spent a month rolling my eyes at everything you said, being completely offended by your opinions, yet I kept coming back. And then something incredible happened. I realized my life was my own fault. I was hateful and had no reason to be. <br /><br />I called my mother and thanked her for her endless sacrifices and begged forgiveness. I apologized to others in my life. I listened to your show religiously and read everything of yours I could get my hands on. Then I found a handsome bearded man I couldn't resist. He championed stay-at-home moms, and seemed way out of my league. I treated him like gold, and in the four years I've known him, I worked at making his life worth living. I have never felt so secure, cherished and content in my life, and when people ask our secret, I tell them it's all thanks to you, and "choosing wisely and treating kindly." I can't wait to be home with my babies one day. You saved my life and helped me make it a work of art.<br /><br />Emily <br />
Staff
2015-10-07T17:59:00Z
Taking A Step Back
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-A-Step-Back/-167935147297856827.html
2015-10-06T17:59:00Z
2015-10-06T17:59:00Z
<br />Hi, Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I have an 8 year old son and a 6 year old daughter. They're good little kids with lively personalities, but sometimes they drive me nuts! I was going to write you with a parenting question about how to stop being so critical of them and to be more loving, when I stopped and realized I had answered my own question!<br /><br />Listening to you these past few months has helped me gain so much clarity in my marriage and in my parenting, but I'm a work-in-progress. I try to ask myself "What Would Jesus Do," but also "What Would Dr. Laura Say," and it helps me keep things in perspective. <br /><br />They are KIDS, and even though my son chews with his mouth open and my daughter throws a fit every time I try to fix her hair, they also give the BEST hugs and are never boring! Being their mom is a true privilege, and it's up to me to be the kind of mom I want to be. I do not want to screw this up!<br /><br />So, thanks for NOT answering my question, and for just doing your job helping people take a step back and examine their own behavior and the choices they make in their life.<br /><br />Mandy<br />
Staff
2015-10-06T17:59:00Z
My Wife's Revelation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Wifes-Revelation/-374627623756206032.html
2015-10-05T17:59:00Z
2015-10-05T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I met my wife and after only a year of dating, we married. Over those six years of our marriage, I noticed my wife was extremely self-centered, and I felt very alone. I thought that until my son was up and out of the house in 18 years I would be miserable because of her attitude. My wife knew I was a listener of yours, and she said she didn't like how you spoke to people. I believe it was because you spoke truth that she didn't want to hear.<br /><br />After several discussions, she bought your book "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060520620/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0060520620&linkCode=as2&tag=wwwdrlauracom-20&linkId=5AWR3PAVKGV2KTFV" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a>," but she didn't read it until we hit a crossroads, which scared her. She must have had a revelation, because when I got home from a business trip last week, she met me at the door with a passionate kiss and hug. She told me she missed me and she loved me. After dinner and getting the kids to bed, she told me she was sorry for the way she had been treating me. She couldn't believe I stayed with her all these years. With tears in her eyes, she told me she appreciated all I had done for her and our family and she didn't deserve me. Her sincerity was real.<br /><br />It's been less than a week since she read your book, and I can honestly say I don't recognize my wife (and that's a very good thing!). She is caring, loving, sweet, tells me she loves me, kisses me and can't get close enough to me at night. I listened to your audiobook while on my business trip, and you are "spot on." We men are simple creatures and will move mountains for our wives if they would just do the few necessary things in life we crave. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!<br /><br />Chris
Staff
2015-10-05T17:59:00Z
I'm Blessed, Not Brave
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Blessed,-Not-Brave/974789910963381841.html
2015-10-02T17:59:00Z
2015-10-02T17:59:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Today, a complete stranger asked my almost three year old daughter if she goes to school. It's not an unreasonable question, because at this age just about all of her friends are in some sort of "school" environment. I sat quietly, looking at my daughter, wondering if she would even answer the question. To my amazement, she responded word for word: "You're so silly. I don't go to day care. I'm home with mommy."<br /><br />Although I was a little surprised with her phrase "I'm home" (since we are rarely ever home) I was extremely proud. The woman who asked her the question said "your mom must be very brave." Brave? More like "blessed." Blessed to have my priorities straight when there are so many confused adults out there.<br /><br />Tova<br /><br />
Staff
2015-10-02T17:59:00Z
Falling In Love, All Over Again
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Falling-In-Love,-All-Over-Again/-457497479344847647.html
2015-10-01T17:59:00Z
2015-10-01T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I want to thank you for nagging, because it saved my marriage! Even though I've never spoken to you, listening to you advise others has had an extremely positive effect on me. I'm 62 years old, and I'm in my second marriage. My first husband passed away after 22 wonderful years of marriage. I remarried 12 years ago, but things became difficult five years into the marriage. <br /><br />I became very critical of my husband when he was no longer attracted to me. We were no longer intimate. He wasn't attracted to me because I gained weight, and I gained more weight because I didn't care any longer. Because I didn't care, I became critical of his every move. I'm not sure how or why we stayed together, but I'm glad we did.<br /><br />After I found you again on SiriusXM, I started to lose weight. I'm now down thirty pounds and have about fifteen to go. I also started being nice to him again no matter what the response. I complimented every little thing I could find. Although it took some time, a few months ago, we started to talk - <em>really</em> talk! One thing led to another and suddenly, he was the man I fell in love with years ago.<br /><br />He now tells me how much he loves me and we are like newlyweds again. It's wonderful, and I wanted you to know that your impact is far wider than just the people you talk to on your show. <br /><br />Maria<br /><br /><br />P.S. My husband is a seasoned sailor and we fell in love on his boat!<br /><br />
Staff
2015-10-01T17:59:00Z
My Son Needs ME
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Son-Needs-ME/-996784587332384776.html
2015-09-30T17:59:00Z
2015-09-30T17:59:00Z
<br />Eight years ago, when I was pregnant with my son, I would listen to you fiercely demand that mothers stay home with their children. I KNEW you were right, but I refused to admit that I was a mom who was willing to abandon my child to hired help. I rationalized my decision saying to myself that day care was going to be good for him. He would learn to socialize with other children. I visited the day care and saw that they were "good people" On and on with the rationalizations.<br /><br />I'm a social worker and was coming home from work frustrated and tired. He needed me and all I could think of was the next day dealing with homeless families, drug addicts and the chronically homeless. I finally decided that the most important goal in my life was NOT to help the homeless, NOT to save the addicts, but to <strong>raise my son</strong>...to raise my son NOT to be homeless, NOT to be an addict, but to be a man with values and strength and respect.<br /><br />I have quit my job and obtained another that allows me to work from home. It pays less, but that's okay. I'll be able to pay the mortgage and bills, but I won't be able to buy him a lot of extras. But that's okay. He doesn't want THINGS - he wants ME.<br />Thank you, Dr. Laura for telling the truth, for hanging up on us and letting us THINK about what you said, and mostly for not allowing me to make excuses. I have never called you, but I listen to you all the time. While I'm scared to make this transition from career fanatic to stay at home mommy, all I have to do is look at my son's face and know I am doing the right thing.<br /><br />Tamara <br />
Staff
2015-09-30T17:59:00Z
Paying Attention to My Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Paying-Attention-to-My-Man/-228621177721578631.html
2015-09-29T17:59:00Z
2015-09-29T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Because of you, I made my husband feel like a man! After three years of listening, I have learned tons, but most importantly how to treat my husband and be a stay-at-home mom. Our second baby is two months old and it has been tough having dinner ready for my husband. But last night, I cooked a real dinner with turkey, homemade corn bread, and mash potatoes. He mentioned this past weekend how his grandmother used to make corn bread in an iron skillet. So I paid attention and did it. After eating he said, "Thank you so much for dinner honey, it was delicious and made me feel like a MAN." It was so worth the couple of hours of struggling with my 2-year-old and nursing my 2-month-old to make him feel that way. <br /><br />Today I texted him, "So in love with you, my MAN." He texted back, "I fell more in love with you last night when I couldn't move after dinner! Ha-ha. We need a romantic night, Mama! I miss your naked body!" Enough said! <br /><br />Thank you, <br /><br />Anna<br />
Staff
2015-09-29T17:59:00Z
The Kind of Character That Counts
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Kind-of-Character-That-Counts/867751047584431652.html
2015-09-28T17:59:00Z
2015-09-28T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I knew my spouse was the right one because of these two things: <br /><br />My husband and I had been friends before we started to date, so we knew quite a bit about each other. One evening he said to me, "Tell me something I don't know about you." Now, this was the perfect opening for a conversation I had been dreading. "Well, I am a virgin and don't believe in sex outside of marriage." Not exactly the answer he was expecting. The reason I was dreading this is because I really liked him; typically in my past dating life, right after this conversation the guy always just happens to lose my phone number. He was silent for a moment, then said, "I really respect that."<br /><br />The second thing is an incident that happened when we were cycling together. I was new to road biking. We had been on a long, smooth downhill ride, and had gone much farther than planned. It was late, and he was getting hungry. Then I ran over something and got a flat. I didn't have my spare tubes or anything with me. I have yet to meet the man who can be patient when he is hungry, and it was very stupid of me to not be prepared. He calmly got out his patch kit and gave me a very thorough tutorial on how to patch and reinforce a punctured tire without a word of reproach. He turned what should have been a lecture about being unprepared into a teaching moment, and I thought to myself that this was the man I wanted to be the father of my kids. <br /><br />We have been married for 5 years now, and have two wonderful girls, and these have been the best 5 years of my life. He is the best man I know. <br /><br />Thanks for all that you do, <br /><br /> Ashlee
Staff
2015-09-28T17:59:00Z
No Need for Pre-School
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-Need-for-Pre-School/-904699570782621401.html
2015-09-25T17:59:00Z
2015-09-25T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Throughout our son's early years, I was pressured to send him to pre-school, because everyone else was doing it. Even though I never felt the rush, I was worried I might be hindering his developmental needs. So I found what I thought was the right program, and even helped in the classroom. <br /><br />But on the fourth day of pre-school, he was pushed off the monkey bars, leaving him with 6 stitches in his eyebrow. The teacher told me it was not allowed by their school code for me to talk to the parents of the child who was the bully who pushed my son. The insisted the school would handle it. After hearing THAT, I walked away with my son from that school, and we never looked back to that dumb decision I made.<br /><br />Our son suffered from speech and language delays and was diagnosed with autism, but that didn't stop me from being the mother who was determined to help him. He's now a rising junior at an ivy-league university. Looking back, I'm proud to have been his stay-at-home mom and coach, thanks to you, the warrior for children's welfare.<br /><br />Amy<br />
Staff
2015-09-25T17:59:00Z
I Treat Him Like a Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Treat-Him-Like-a-Man/-612246457103845262.html
2015-09-24T17:59:00Z
2015-09-24T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Hello Dr. Laura:<br /><br />You mentioned on your show that masculinity can be one of the most wonderful things in the world and I agree. I treat my husband of four years like a man, and the return has been everything you have promised.<br /><br />Recently, we took a "tubing" trip down a very fast, rocky, secluded river with steep embankments. My tube "popped," and even though we tried, it wasn't feasible for us to share his tube. In the chaos, we both lost our sandals. Instead of taking me up on my offer to share the burden of walking the rest of the trip, he insisted I take HIS tube to the end. He then walked two hours over jagged rocks in the ice cold river. He refused to take a break and let me walk for a while. When we finally got to a place where we could climb up on land, his feet were bloody and swollen, and he was shivering from head to toe.<br /><br />My point to the story is this: as I was floating along, I thought to myself, "These aren't exactly shark-infested waters, and there's no lemonade involved, but I think that Dr. Laura would approve!"<br /><br />Lisa<br />
Staff
2015-09-24T17:59:00Z
On Being Punctual
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/On-Being-Punctual/433473038938249244.html
2015-09-23T17:59:00Z
2015-09-23T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I grew up in a household where we were always on time and I think less of people who are constantly late. They seem to feel their time is more important than the rest of us. <br /><br />I find it calming by being on time. I'm not rushed, but I know some people are "adrenaline junkies" and live for the rush of running late. When I was dating one guy, his mother told me never to take it personally, but her son was always late. I was perplexed - their son had NEVER been late in picking me up for a date. In fact, he was often early. I had no clue he was rarely on time.<br /><br />I realized he thought I was worthy enough of respect to be on time, and to me that was a sign of good character. He's now my husband!<br /><br />Maria<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2015-09-23T17:59:00Z
When Choosing A Mate
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-Choosing-A-Mate/-171770743239929308.html
2015-09-22T17:59:00Z
2015-09-22T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I have a favorite song ("Lead Me" by Sanctus Real) that poses good questions for women and men when choosing a mate. Is he or are you willing to:<br /><br />Lead with strong hands<br />Stand up when the other can't<br />Don't leave the other hungry for love<br />Show you're willing to fight and that your mate is still the love of your life<br />Take care of each other so the other is not feeling alone.<br /><br />I strive each day to make my marriage the best it can be, and my husband does the same. Even when the children grow up, the work to keep the marriage alive still needs to be done. <br /><br />My 25 year old daughter and my grandson listen to you too. We believe in the values, morals and lessons you teach and we know we can always do something to improve one or more areas in our lives. Thank you, Dr. Laura, for being there each day for us!<br /><br />Darcy<br />
Staff
2015-09-22T17:59:00Z
Teaching My Son
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teaching-My-Son/-437566613746795795.html
2015-09-21T17:59:00Z
2015-09-21T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />When my son was still a child, he really wanted a game for his gaming system. He and I went to the store, but the game was out of our budget, so we decided to wait. When we got back to our car, two game cartridges were wedged under our right front tire! I told him those were not ours to keep, and we had to bring them into the store, as they may have been stolen. He was disappointed, but we met with the Security Manager, who asked for my name and phone number. My son realized that we couldn't take things that were not ours, and to do so inadvertently was the same as stealing.<br /><br />Four months later, the store manager called and asked us to come in. When we arrived, she gave us the two games we had found. They had researched their inventory and weren't short any games from theft. No one had come in to claim them either. Their policy was to give any returned property if not claimed within 4 months to the Good Samaritan who brought it in. So my son got the game for the right reason. He kept one and gave the second game to a friend whose family was struggling. It was a teaching moment about giving to others. We always looked for those with our kids as they grew up. Now we do it with our grandchildren.<br /><br />Gregg<br />
Staff
2015-09-21T17:59:00Z
I Got Paid Today!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Got-Paid-Today!/-947019177921476809.html
2015-09-18T17:59:00Z
2015-09-18T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I got paid today. Not in the traditional sense - there was no check or direct deposit. I've been a stay-at-home mom for the past 14 years and my payment came in the form of an email from my son's high school teacher. I had emailed him with a question, he replied, and at the end of the message, he included this - "Although it is only two weeks into the year, I can see that your son is a great young man and he is a pleasure to have in class. Thanks for raising a respectful, kind person." This is my payday after all these years of being a mom. All those crazy, frustrating days; all the effort and hard work of raising decent human beings; all the times of sacrificing something I might want or need, to do what was best for my kids; all those things pay off when someone recognizes that maybe I've done something right. <br /><br />I recently started a new part-time job at the school, as my kids are both teens. The monetary paychecks are useful, but they will never be as meaningful as the paydays I receive from being a mom. <br /><br />Kerri<br />
Staff
2015-09-18T17:59:00Z
Taking the Plunge
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-the-Plunge/617896666953250523.html
2015-09-17T17:59:00Z
2015-09-17T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />My dearest Dr. Laura, <br /><br />A while ago, I came home from a long day. My husband took me by the hand and asked me to close my eyes. He guided me into the bathroom where he had delicately placed candles, rose petals, and bath salts surrounding a large freshly run bath. Wine and chocolates adorned the rim of the tub and he beamed ear to ear. "Get in," he encouraged. <br /><br />I undressed and dipped a toe into the water, only to find it was ice cold. He had inadvertently run the cold water instead of the hot. Immediately I saw your face, Dr. Laura, flash before my eyes. It was if you were hovering over the tub saying, "You have two options my dear, choose wisely." I plunged into the cold bath, smiling, shivering, but smiling. I thanked him profusely and waited for the door to close. I then drained the bath, refilled it with hot water, and relaxed. <br /><br />That particular night, I had my husband in the palm of my hand. I could have easily complained, turned my nose up, or scolded him. Instead I took the plunge and it made him smile. And since then, I've had hundreds of HOT baths run for me by him. <br /><br />Life and marriage is not about winning or being selfish. It's about how you make other people feel when they walk away from you. I made my husband feel like a king that night, and in turn I've been treated as a queen for 15 wonderful years of marriage. After all, everyone needs a good cold plunge every now and then! <br /><br />Thank you for your undying and unfailing love of children. <br /><br />A devoted listener, <br /><br />Jessica<br />
Staff
2015-09-17T17:59:00Z
My Husband, My Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husband,-My-Marriage/-918341285337858479.html
2015-09-16T17:59:00Z
2015-09-16T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />My husband and I have been married 10 years. We have been through hell and back. He has cheated and it was when I was the worst wife/mother. Recently, I let myself go, and in turn let my marriage and my house fall apart, and he ran into the arms of another woman. I am hurt by his choices, but I also now understand how my actions and even my words made him feel like less of a man. Not that it makes it okay, but his complaints were understandable. I was not attentive. I was always negative. I was just not happy; therefore, he felt he had no purpose in our marriage, but to bring home the bacon. <br /><br />A friend gave me your book, "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060520620/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0060520620&linkCode=as2&tag=wwwdrlauracom-20&linkId=5AWR3PAVKGV2KTFV" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a>" and so much of what the men said in the book I have heard my husband say so many times! In fact I laugh and share with him what I have read and he nods his head in agreement. <br /><br />While we have a lot to figure out and work through together, there is also a lot I need to work on myself to become the wife I always wanted to be in the first place. I always thought "if he gave me what I want I would be the perfect wife." But now I am realizing to be treated the way I want from him, I have to give that exact same thing to him. <br /><br />Jessica<br />
Staff
2015-09-16T17:59:00Z
Learning About Family, Life and Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-About-Family,-Life-and-Love/482158361876166115.html
2015-09-15T17:59:00Z
2015-09-15T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Mama Laura, <br /><br />My husband and I have been married for 18 years. We met pretty young and through the grace of you and hard work we have blossomed. Shortly after we met and started dating, my husband took me over to meet his grandparents. They were an incredibly large part of his life. Looking back, his introducing me to them was a clear sign he liked me. We would spend the next few years going on dates to their house. A perfect date night would be my future husband fly fishing with his grandfather, and then meeting up with me at his grandparents' house. We would have an always amazing dinner and play cards until late in the night. He and his grandfather made up a team, and his grandmother and I would be another team. It was fairly competitive and always ended in lots of laughs. We learned so much about family, life, and love from those amazing dates. <br /><br />I fell in love with a man who adored his grandfather and doted on his grandmother. And, of course, I fell madly in love with them too. His grandfather served as our best man in our wedding. We have lost both his grandparents, but seeing my husband's character and foundation through those irreplaceable moments of my life truly made my love for him grow. If I could relive any day of my life, it would be any of those dates. We miss them both so much, but I know they live on because of what they taught us. My husband and I always say, those are the memories that no one else will ever have. They are a layer to our foundation. <br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, for being a huge part of our foundation too. We always joke you are my husband's mom, my mother-in-law, and our son's grandma. Our son is one heck of a decent person! He would really make you proud. <br /><br />Monica<br />
Staff
2015-09-15T17:59:00Z
Not Your Average Reaction to Criticism
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Not-Your-Average-Reaction-to-Criticism/-755951158374086493.html
2015-09-14T17:59:00Z
2015-09-14T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />My now husband and I had been dating for about 18 months. For some reason, I was irritated with him - years have blurred the reason, it was probably PMS - and I unloaded on him about a couple of things that bothered me about him and our relationship. Instead of taking it personally, he nodded, and said something like, "So what do you want to do? I see several ways we can work on this." He then proceeded to come up with a plan. Wow! Not your average reaction to criticism. I knew right then that he was the one for me. <br /><br />We've been married for 31 years, and I never have regretted the decision I made that day. His approach to life and problems has made him a great husband, father to our girls and a valuable leader in his field of work. <br /><br />Recently we were sitting outside holding hands on a lovely evening and I said, "You know where I would like to be right this minute?" "Where?," he asked. My answer: "Nowhere else in the world, but right here with you." <br /><br />I am blessed. <br /><br />Candy<br />
Staff
2015-09-14T17:59:00Z
White Knight Alert!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/White-Knight-Alert!/-319622652850496586.html
2015-09-11T17:59:00Z
2015-09-11T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Before we were dating and married, my husband was a frequent customer at a store where I worked. Out here in the Pacific Northwest we are famous for our "bucket dumping" rainstorms, especially in the fall. One October day I recall seeing his car in the parking lot - not that I was looking for it or anything, but I didn't see him. It was a small strip center and to the best of my knowledge he did not frequent any of the other stores in the mall. I went on about my business, waiting on other customers until he walked in, completely drenched. He had been helping a woman get her car started so she could get home to her family and out of the rain. A lovely little chime went off in my brain that said "White knight alert! Pay attention." I was smart enough to heed the message. And he has turned out to be my white knight in every way. <br /><br />Fiona<br />
Staff
2015-09-11T17:59:00Z
My Giving Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Giving-Man/790745556993491532.html
2015-09-10T17:59:00Z
2015-09-10T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />When I was dating my husband, I experienced a house fire that totally destroyed my home. All that was left was the frame. I did not have sufficient insurance to cover all the needed repairs. The contractor was going to take every bit of insurance money I did have and I would not have anything to replace the contents of my home. My husband came to my rescue. After working a 12 hour day at his job, he would come to my house and work until 2:00 in the morning. He would then go to his apartment for a few hours sleep before he had to be at work again. He would also work on it during the weekends. He did this for about 7-8 weeks rebuilding the interior of my house. It was during this time I realized I would spend the rest of my life loving this man. <br /><br />We were married the next year and just celebrated our 25th anniversary. He still is the most giving man I know. <br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, for all you do to help raise men like my husband. <br /><br />Janis <br />
Staff
2015-09-10T17:59:00Z
When the Brat Urge Comes On
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-the-Brat-Urge-Comes-On/800192587927726499.html
2015-09-09T17:59:00Z
2015-09-09T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Recently, you had a call that caused me to pull over my car as I was in tears from the female caller's insightful and humble conversation. She no longer wanted to have a privileged and entitled attitude that caused her to be a brat when she didn't get her way. She wanted to change; she wanted to be more others focused, so she could someday be a great wife and mother. I was so moved by this young lady's courage to look in the mirror, own her stuff and not be defensive, and have true desire to change. Her future husband will be lucky to have a young woman with such a humble heart, yet still won't settle for less than being cherished, and understands it is not all about her. <br /><br />I was so moved, because I am married to a woman who only talks about herself, never inquires about others. If I don't meet her every demand, I am verbally abused. She is so caught up with herself she has no idea she is about to be single again. Our kids are grown, and out of the house, so there are no responsibilities left on a man desiring to be set free. <br /><br />Your sage advice to this young lady was spot on: she was on the right track and is to be commended. And when the brat urge comes on, treat it with candor and humor while taking a "time out". <br /><br />Thanks for your work.....the tears were refreshing, and spoke volumes to my heart. <br /><br />Rick<br />
Staff
2015-09-09T17:59:00Z
I Needed to Trust My Parents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Needed-to-Trust-My-Parents/-188052789737292994.html
2015-09-08T17:59:00Z
2015-09-08T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />My biggest regret in life is ignoring the advice and pleas from my mother and father to not marry my first husband. They were right about everything. Everything they cautioned me about was spot on. After 22 months of wedded disaster, I filed for divorce. <br /><br />In about 2 years, I met the man I should have married. I brought him home to meet my parents on our second date. If they liked him, I planned on having a third date. If they didn't like him, I would never see him again. <br /><br />I learned my lesson the hard way. I needed to trust my parents' wisdom from having lived so much longer than I, realizing they were better judges of character. We have been happily married for 35 years. Mom and Dad really do know best! <br /><br />Jacqueline<br />
Staff
2015-09-08T17:59:00Z
Dating a Child of Divorce
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dating-a-Child-of-Divorce/193223974883342040.html
2015-09-04T17:59:00Z
2015-09-04T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am a child of divorce and I worried I would somehow be a bad choice for marriage. My parents had fought a lot when I was small. My main memory of my dad is his shouting loudly enough to rock my world. When I met a wonderful man who subsequently proposed to me, I worried I wasn't good enough for him or for his family. They were so kind, warm and welcoming to me. We have been married for 36 years now, and I am grateful every day for my husband who was willing to take a chance on me. Every day he tells me he loves me and I'm the one for him. He is definitely the one for me! In addition to him, I got a great mother-in-law! <br /><br />A child of divorce can go on to have a good life. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Sharon<br />
Staff
2015-09-04T17:59:00Z
We May Be Together, But Have Not Blended
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-May-Be-Together,-But-Have-Not-Blended/-465617946024196458.html
2015-09-03T17:59:00Z
2015-09-03T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Hi, Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I never realized how hard it was going to be to blend families. <br /><br />Prior to remarrying, I wish I had heard your comments about waiting until the kids were grown and gone before dating. It would have saved a lot of pain for everyone involved. <br /><br />We have been married 24 years and haven't really blended at all. We still do separate holidays and visits. <br /><br />Please keep telling divorced parents with minor children to not to date -- at all. I so wish I wouldn't have. Daily, I deal with the profound guilt of what my decisions have caused to my two daughters. <br /><br />Thank-you, Dr. Laura for all the great work you do for families and our dear veterans! <br /><br />May God bless you richly! <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Penny <br />
Staff
2015-09-03T17:59:00Z
Posting Pictures of Children on the Net
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Posting-Pictures-of-Children-on-the-Net/-475209216581745990.html
2015-09-02T17:59:00Z
2015-09-02T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura - <br /><br />Thank you for your comments regarding posting pictures of children on the Internet. I do not put post pictures of my children online, nor do I even ask their permission since I'm the parent. Don't people realize there are sickos trolling for pictures which are innocent to most, but twisted for others? I am thankful my parents did not have the ability in the 1970s to make public every phase and stage of my development with half the world. <br /><br />I contacted my school administrators last year, when I clicked through hundreds of first day of school pictures which were posted on our district's website. Children were wearing name tags in front of school buildings! That is an obvious breech of privacy and security to make public their name, face and school location. <br /><br />I am grateful to you for your support in so many ways. <br /><br />May<br />
Staff
2015-09-02T17:59:00Z
A House Full of Silence
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-House-Full-of-Silence/803469262515500000.html
2015-09-01T17:59:00Z
2015-09-01T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />As always, back to school week is especially hard for me. At this point, I assumed it would be getting easier, but after all these years it has not. As my husband and I dropped our "summer sidekicks" off to start their third and fourth grade year, tears flowed after waving good bye to them like every year before. This was followed by a long pause of silence between my husband and me, and sighs of sadness that another school year has begun. <br /><br />It just goes by so fast. It seemed like yesterday when we started our tradition of first day school family breakfast followed with lots of pictures in their brand new uniforms and a car ride together talking about how exciting their first day was going to be, reminding them to listen and follow teacher directions and to have fun. Then watching them get out of the car while my husband and I fought who could shout the loudest, "Have a good day! We love you!" <br /><br />I thought this year maybe would be less emotional; after all, I have done this first school day ritual several times. I thought maybe I would be thankful for a house full of silence and happy to return to the daily routine of a stay-at-home mom. Instead, the silence is eerily annoying, and the routine while at times is nice, only makes me miss my kids more. I miss jumping into the pool in our pjs after breakfast, riding our bikes through the mud after an afternoon thunderstorm, and movie nights where bedtime didn't matter. I miss hearing the laughter while they played games together, and their magic shows where I was fortunate to have a front row seat. Mostly, I miss the nights where we all feel asleep in the same bed and awoke to smiles and snuggles. <br /><br />Dr. Laura, thank you for continuing to stress on your radio program the importance of staying home with your children. No excuses. If you have a child please don't let someone else raise them for you! I promise anyone who is thinking of sending their child to day care or put them in a camp every day of the summer will miss out on the greatest moments of being a parent. I wish more mothers realized that once your child leaves home for good, you will forever be thankful for the memories you have created with them which will last forever. <br /><br />I am my kids' mom, my hubby's girlfriend, and a huge Dr. Laura fan. <br /><br />Heidi<br />
Staff
2015-09-01T17:59:00Z
Being a True Friend
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-a-True-Friend/-912849022778391876.html
2015-08-31T16:59:00Z
2015-08-31T16:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />A friend of mine who is in a bridal party was asked to make 100 cupcakes for the rehearsal dinner. My friend accepted the request, but soon realized she was in over her head, and called me (a month in advance) to ask if I would help her. I make specialty-order cakes and cupcakes so it was not a challenge for me at all, so I agreed.<br /><br />Right before I was supposed to help her, she called asking if we could move the cupcake decorating to that evening instead of that morning. I got grumpy because I had planned my day around helping her and had a six hour intense work training session that afternoon. I knew I was going to be exhausted by the evening. I told her I'd call her back because I wanted to create an excuse as to why I couldn't help her in the evening. <br /><br />I was on my computer at the time, and for some reason, I went to your website, and saw <a href="/b/What-It-Means-to-Be-a-True-Friend/-698180774873509750.html">your blog post</a> on being a true friend. At that moment, I had a change of heart. My friend had asked me well in advance to help her and I agreed. She had an unavoidable family situation that required her to move our plans, and I did not. I was ashamed of myself and realized what a crank I was being just because I was going to be tired after a long day. <br /><br />I called her back, worked out the details with her (we decided she'd do some basic work that night, and I'd help her with the frosting and fondant decorations the next night). The next night, she was all ready, and we knocked them all out while having a great time. Thank you for helping me see through my moment of sleepy selfishness. I would have regretted it if I lied to her. I know she appreciated it very much, and I didn't lose any respect for myself that night.<br /><br />Sara (a "true friend")<br />
Staff
2015-08-31T16:59:00Z
My Husband's Girlfriend
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husbands-Girlfriend/855989840514103167.html
2015-08-28T17:59:00Z
2015-08-28T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I found out that my husband had been carrying on a two year affair. I'd wondered for some time, as he had withdrawn from me, treated me differently, and we actually stopped making love. I read your book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and realized how cruel I had been to this man who loved me unconditionally. <br /><br />My husband used to ask me if he could get a girlfriend and move her in, and I always thought he was joking. I found out that his mistress believed that he and I were no longer together and that he was going to move her into our family home. I guess men really are simple creatures and say what they actually want. Wives, like me, choose to believe whatever we want. <br /><br />I made many horrible mistakes with my husband. What a stupid woman I was. I had a man who showered me with affection, adoration and love. I left to go home to my parents when I found out about the affair, but after a few days went home to talk. My husband was transparent and answered all my questions. I told him for the sake of our 10 year old that we could make it work for the next eight years, and if nothing changed, we'd be done. When I told him I was not okay with his continuing any relationship with another woman, he said that's all I had to say. It's only been a few weeks, but I've noticed a big difference in his affections toward me, and I've changed in the way I treat him. He said he still has a girlfriend, but now she is also his wife.<br /><br />Deanna <br /><br /><br /><br /><span>If you've got a story you'd like to share you can email me by signing into (or signing up for) the free Dr. Laura Family, just </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">click here</a><span>. </span><br />
Staff
2015-08-28T17:59:00Z
Passing Family Traditions & Customs
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Passing-Family-Traditions--Customs/-203437276901130151.html
2015-08-27T17:59:00Z
2015-08-27T17:59:00Z
<br /><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />When our children were young, I learned from my European mother-in-law to have "tea time" when they got home from school. My husband has fond memories of having tea and a cookie with his mom when he was young, so I did the same with our children.<br /><br />I discovered that tea time was when everything was fresh in their minds, so I got to hear all about their day at school in great detail. By the time my husband came home for dinner, the first flush of excitement had passed, and they were calmer and less inclined to repeat all the details of their day again, which led to more succinct stories at dinnertime. It's a lovely custom.<br /><br />My children still enjoy it when they come home today, even though they're all married and on their own!<br /><br />Sharon<br /><br /><br />If you've got a family custom you want to tell us about, you can email me by signing into (or signing up for) the free Dr. Laura Family, just <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">click here</a>.<br />
Staff
2015-08-27T17:59:00Z
My Stay at Home Success Story
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Stay-at-Home-Success-Story/-73107744340871015.html
2015-08-26T17:59:00Z
2015-08-26T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I recently heard a call on your show where you told a prospective mom that she could make being a stay-at-home mom work on one salary. I thought maybe others could be inspired by MY story.<br /><br />Staying at home with my kids was a priority for me. When my second child was born, I knew I didn't want to work anymore. My husband and I grew up on Long Island, and all of our friends and family were there. However, the cost of living was very high, and we knew we couldn't afford to live there on one salary.<br /><br />So my husband found a new job in a small Virginia town. We sold our house and moved away from everyone we knew. I joined a mothers' group, made friends quickly and easily and was very happy being a mother to my kids. While in Virginia, I got pregnant again and before my child was born, my husband lost his job. He was able to find another one but it was in Alabama. So once again, we gave up what was familiar and moved so I could be home to raise my kids. The move wasn't easy, especially in August, but we did it, my baby was born in Alabama, and we lived there for five years.<br /><br />Today, I live in Pennsylvania, my kids are grown, and looking back I have no regrets about the sacrifices that were made in order to be a stay-at-home mom. To your listeners: there is ALWAYS a way - you just have to be willing to make it happen.<br /><br />Margie<br /><br /><br />If you've got an inspiring story about YOUR journey to "stay-at-home mom-hood" you can email me by signing into (or signing up for) the free Dr. Laura Family, just <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">click here</a>. <br />
Staff
2015-08-26T17:59:00Z
In My Heart, I Was Smiling
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/In-My-Heart,-I-Was-Smiling/175169797050363868.html
2015-08-25T16:59:00Z
2015-08-25T16:59:00Z
<br /><br /><br />Today I dropped off my oldest daughter for her first day of kindergarten. It was so hard to hold back the tears, but I did it (though I did blubber like a baby all the way home). As I sit here now, I have no regrets. I spent every second of her first five years with her. No work, no pre-school. Just us. Many thought I was crazy. Some told me I was making the wrong choice, but I knew in my heart the only one who could raise a kind, well-adjusted, bright and loving child was me, her mother (and her daddy too, of course).<br /><br />The house is quieter now. It's just me and my three year old. She misses her big sister and I miss my little girl. After we dropped my oldest off, we met with other mothers at a coffee shop for some emotional support. As I sat there with my youngest, another mother literally gasped when I said my 3 year old wasn't going into pre-school. She said to me "Well, that's too bad." Can you believe it? But in my heart, I was smiling, knowing that I get two uninterrupted years with my little one. I've hit the jackpot.<br /><br />Thank you for being my "surrogate mom" and the one I have looked to for strength and advice for ten years. You've shaped the way I raise my kids and love my husband, who is an amazing and strong father. I definitely chose wisely.<br /><br />A thousand thank yous,<br /><br />Emily <br />
Staff
2015-08-25T16:59:00Z
I Finally Got It Right
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Finally-Got-It-Right/-285195278060278721.html
2015-08-24T17:59:00Z
2015-08-24T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr Laura, <br /><br />I'm 54 years old now, but wish I would have heard you when I was 19. I have been listening for 5 years now. Here is some of what I learned during that time: <br /><br />When I was 19, I married my first husband. He ran off with another woman and we divorced. My lesson I've learned from you is don't marry when you're so young. You think you know it all and you have no clue on what you are really supposed to be doing yet. <br /><br />I remarried on the rebound and thought I could change a drug abuser and rehabilitate him. A year later we divorced. My lesson learned was you can't change anyone. They have got to want to change.<br /><br />I remarried again and failed to talk with him about his thoughts on children. I do not have any, but he wanted a family and after 10 years it became very important to him. So I let him out of the marriage so he still had time to fulfill his dream. My lesson learned was what you always say, pre-marital counseling so you can talk about what each person's expectations. <br /><br />I finally have got it right, I know that sounds stupid, but since listening to you, I found my husband and have made SURE I follow your rules. Neither of us have kids, but with your help, I finally figured out how to act right and we have a wonderful life. I treat him the way I am supposed to. He is a "man" and we have mutual respect for each other. <br /><br />I used to roll my eyes at what you said, but after putting it into action and finding out it really does work, it is amazing. I wish I would have found you earlier. I would have saved myself a lot of stupid mistakes. My parents gave me no guidance, so I had to figure this out all on my own, but the next 30 years or so are going to be wonderful. I finally got it right with your help. Thank you. <br /><br /><br />Diane<br />
Staff
2015-08-24T17:59:00Z
An 8-Year-Old with More Brains Than a Lot of Adults
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/An-8-Year-Old-with-More-Brains-Than-a-Lot-of-Adults/410891731837131074.html
2015-08-21T17:59:00Z
2015-08-21T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura! <br /><br />I am my fantastic husband's partner and our 3 amazing kids' mom! <br /><br />For some reason, our television was tuned to "The Bachelorette". For the 3 whole minutes it was on before I changed the channel, our 4-year-old daughter was intrigued by all the roses and pretty dresses she saw. Our 8-year-old son turned to her and told her how the show was dumb because you're supposed to pick someone to marry, but you can't possibly get to know someone to marry on a show like that! You have to get to know someone longer than that before you should ever think about marriage. He then told her in a sweet little voice to be sure to date a nice man for a very long time before you get married....okay? <br /><br />I was so darn proud of him for having such common sense, but also the brains and love to tell his little sister that. I'm amazed at the dingbats who think they've found love on that show! <br /><br />I started listening to you again because my new car has Sirius XM and our children love listening to you too. In fact, our son loves you so much that he records himself having his own "Dr. Aedan" call-in show. Last week, he had a birthday and actually said he wanted a Dr. Laura doll for his birthday.<br /><br />We love your entertaining advice.<br /><br />Kelly <br />
Staff
2015-08-21T17:59:00Z
My Generation Thinks Day Care is Fine
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Generation-Thinks-Day-Care-is-Fine/365209027647551699.html
2015-08-20T17:59:00Z
2015-08-20T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am a 30-year-old stay-at-home mom. I am part of a Facebook moms group where women can ask for help related to breastfeeding, sleep training, fun toddler activities, etc. etc. Yesterday, a woman wrote to the group explaining how she is conflicted about staying home with her child. She said she feels "guilty" about the decrease in household income and for all of the years she put into building her career. I commented and simply said that the best person to raise a child is a loving mother. And that if she quit her job, there will be 5 people in line to take it, but if she quit being a mother, there will be no one to fill her shoes. Dr. Laura, you would have thought I was condoning the worst of crimes considering how the other women responded to my comment. <br /><br />Women said I was rude and hateful, and that I was "tearing down other mothers." Dr. Laura, NOT one other mother responded with a similar viewpoint to mine. Instead, here is what they were writing: "You're jealous of moms who make enough money to put their multiples in day care. If you could, you would be back to work in a heartbeat!" "What does it matter if the mom chooses to work or not? The children are still in the care of others." "Women who choose to work are not quitting as mothers. They are teaching their daughters to be independent." "I could stay home, but I chose to work because I have a career I value and find rewarding." And so on and so on. I am heartbroken by the mothers of my generation. And speechless. <br /><br />Dr. Laura, thank you for all that you do. Please please PLEASE keep spreading your message. I heard it loud and clear and am my kid's mom. He can't talk yet, but I am sure he is thankful for it everyday. I can only hope that more moms my age hear your advice too, and that they actually take it. <br /><br />Cheers, <br /><br />Erin<br />
Staff
2015-08-20T17:59:00Z
Being a Good Wife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-a-Good-Wife/74707603143538908.html
2015-08-19T17:59:00Z
2015-08-19T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I'm so tired of not being able to have a conversation with other women about wives treating their husbands well without women immediately commenting that it "works both ways". Every time I see something on Facebook or get involved in a discussion about things a wife needs to remember about looking after her man, there are comments and chuckles about women needing things too and that if men were better at meeting their needs, wives would be nicer, sweeter etc. They are so selfish and childish and feel the need to be defensive all the time. I'm sick of it because they just don't get it. Obviously there needs to be mutual care and attention, but that doesn't make statements about what men need from women some kind of joke to be laughed at. And that's what women do, they laugh at men's needs. <br /><br />My dear sweet and wonderful husband was in a serious car accident, leaving him severely brain injured and physically disabled. After 2 years of being in one hospital after another, one rehab program after another, hopes being raised of getting him home where I could take care of him and then the same hopes crushed, we finally had to put him into a long term care home. When I had finally accepted we had to live apart, he passed away and now I've lost him forever. We were married 29 years and my heart is so broken. <br /><br />Everything you tell women is true. The men aren't the ones complaining. My husband never complained, even when I wasn't a sweet wife. I followed your advice many years ago, read your books, changed my attitude and it DID make difference. I focused on just loving him and doing everything I could to make him happy and IT MADE ME HAPPY too. Now he's gone and I would give anything to be able to hold him again, to cook his supper, wash his clothes, or meet him at the door after work. No one else seems to get this, but you. And I'm tired and sad our world is so screwed up and women are so taken with themselves they can't even shut up long enough to listen to a suggestion because their first response has to be "it goes both ways." I give up. But I'm glad you don't give up because for all the women who ignore your advice, there are lots like me who take it. Thank you for not being afraid to tell women they are WRONG. <br /><br />Ann<br />
Staff
2015-08-19T17:59:00Z
Let Kids Quit
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Let-Kids-Quit/850179001902053670.html
2015-08-18T17:59:00Z
2015-08-18T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />As a volunteer coach for almost 10 years to youth team sports, I have seen many young kids come through the sports programs. Some kids are athletic and love sports. Others are the "non-sporty" kids. Here is my point of view as a youth coach of sports teams regarding kids quitting. <br /><ol>
<li>If the child is miserable, let them quit. I think it is important for a child to try a sport, but if they don't like it, they don't like it. No amount of time will change it. In most cases, it's the parent who signs their child up to play the sport, either because the parent was once "a great athlete" or the parent wants their child "to be active." Trust me when I say that "non-sporty" kids usually don't want to play sports.</li>
<br />
<li>The coach is miserable. As a coach, it is not easy to teach a child a sport they do not like or know nothing about. It is challenging, and most of the time, impossible. Nothing irritates me more than when a parent tells me, "I just signed Johnny up because he needs to be active." I want to scream, "Then go buy him a bike or buy him a puppy and take it on walks!" Team sports are not day care and coaches are not personal trainers. And 99.9% of youth coaches are volunteers, so kids who love the sport and want to be there are their motivation.</li>
<br />
<li>The team is miserable. Kids know when someone doesn't want to participate. That child is bringing the team down. The saying one bad apple spoils the basket applies to team sports. So what should a parent do who wants their child to be physically active in a sport or be a part of a team? There are team sports with individual competition: golf team, tennis team, bowling team, track and field team, and many more. The child will know both the fun and work ethic of a team sport while competing at his or her athletic ability. </li>
</ol>In conclusion, I want to say that there is a time and a place to teach your child that quitting is not the best option. But when it comes to youth sports, especially youth team sports, it's not the hill to die on. <br /><br />Thank you, <br /><br />Coach Val<br />
Staff
2015-08-18T17:59:00Z
Raising Them 'Right'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-Them-Right/741858910742609697.html
2015-08-17T17:59:00Z
2015-08-17T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I gave up a lucrative career in the US Air Force to be home with my son and later, my daughter. My husband and I made sure one of us was there to raise our kids at all times and it meant my working as a nurse on weekends/nights to be sure they were with Dad during those times. I homeschooled both of the kids for several years to give them a good foundation and spent time with them during their most formative years. <br /><br />All this has paid off in big dividends! Just the other day, my son stopped to assist an elderly woman with her broken-down car on a busy freeway. He got the car running and saved her angst and the cost of a tow. She was so grateful she wanted to pay him. He flat-out refused, believing a good deed has its own rewards. I can't express how proud my son has made me in this simple act. <br /><br />His sister is a straight A student and starting college courses at 16. She is a camp counselor and loves working with young kids and has thoughts of volunteering an animal shelter, owing to her deep abiding love of beings who are vulnerable and need TLC. <br /><br />I have to give a LOT of credit to my husband who supported me 100%, in my separating from the military and being a full-time mom. We sacrificed a lot of income and extras, but our family never did without anything we truly needed. We got to learn the distinct difference between "needs" and "wants" in those lean years. I heard your nagging voice in my head many times when tempted to use day care in the name of advancing my career, and am glad I listened. <br /><br />Thank you for all you do for the betterment of American families and for being the voice that urged me to "do the right thing" by my family. Life could not be better. <br /><br />Debbie <br /><br /><br /><span>If you have a story to share about being a stay-at-home parent, </span><a id="yui_3_16_0_1_1439836323014_8289" rel="nofollow" href="/askdrlaura" target="_blank">email Dr. Laura</a><span>. She would love to read your story.</span><br />
Staff
2015-08-17T17:59:00Z
Children Hearing Parents Having Sex
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Children-Hearing-Parents-Having-Sex/-600992417107601937.html
2015-08-14T17:59:00Z
2015-08-14T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura,<br /> <br />I had to laugh out loud to your caller who said her daughter had heard her parents having sex. <br /><br />When our daughter was about 13, she was doing the dishes and asked, "What in the world were you two doing last night?" As soon as she said it, she put 2 and 2 together and quickly continued washing dishes. She and I were both mortified, but my husband didn't miss a beat and said, "Well, did you think we found you under a rock somewhere?" That was over 20 years ago. She is now married and with a family of her own, and on many occasions she has said, as awkward as that moment was for her at the time, it gave her a great sense of security knowing her parents loved each other. <br /><br />So, for your caller, never be afraid to love your husband! Your children will be better in their life for it! <br /><br />Still loving my boyfriend of 39 years and my husband for 36! <br /><br />Jen<br />
Staff
2015-08-14T17:59:00Z
Commitment to Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Commitment-to-Marriage/31924015062785642.html
2015-08-13T17:59:00Z
2015-08-13T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />My hubby and I have been married almost 40 years. Three months after our wedding, he was in a tragic auto accident which left him a paraplegic. I never thought of leaving. I stayed by his side and we worked through all of the trials of our new life. He became quite independent and was able to continue working in his business. We were blessed to be able to adopt 2 children and we have 4 grandchildren. We were able to do some travelling and had a good life in spite of all of the challenges. <br /><br />Approximately 5 years ago, my hubby was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease. He was approved for a kidney and received a transplant, but his health declined and he was forced to retire. I am now a full-time caregiver! There are days I get very frustrated and I have very little time to do anything for myself, let alone go shopping, so Amazon and online ordering have become my best friends. <br /><br />My point is...when you truly love someone, you stick with them through better or worse, in sickness and health. It saddens me to see couples who have very little commitment to those vows. When the going gets tough, they jump ship! A lot of people have praised me over the years, including my husband. And, of course I would be remiss if I didn't mention that without our faith, we could never get through all of the trials and challenges each day that we face. And if I lose him, I will be totally lost. But I am here until death do us part. I love him always and forever. <br /><br />Sharon <br />
Staff
2015-08-13T17:59:00Z
Proud Dr. Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Proud-Dr.-Mom/-704740001559327294.html
2015-08-12T17:59:00Z
2015-08-12T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was an optometrist, a doctor with a private practice grossing more than half a million dollars a year. I thought I was able to do it all, but then, I had my 'aha' moment by hearing your show for the first time. I realized I wanted to be completely present and available for my husband and our 3 boys. I wanted to give our children the best chance at success. I spoke to my husband, who confirmed what a wonderful man he always has been. We agreed to sell my thriving office so I could be a better girlfriend to my husband and mother to my boys. Sure I've always loved them and would do anything for them, but now I actually was doing what I know for certain was best for my family. I told them: "When I am old and someone were to ask me if I'd do anything different, I didn't want to say 'I wish I spent more time being with my boys'. Dad and I have decided to make some changes for the better". I cannot express or recreate the joy in their eyes! My then 5, 9 and 12-year-old boys had their mother full time. <br /><br />I have since been raising loving, nurturing, responsible, fun, happy, unique boys who have on numerous occasions stood up for what they believe is right. They are truly my pride and joy! Throughout the years, they each, on numerous occasions, have commented on how happy they are that I decided to stay home. There has not been a single day where I regret my decision. It feels good to do the right thing. <br /><br />Currently, my oldest is heading off to an Ivy League to further his education and play varsity golf. My 15-year-old just wrote and published his first science fiction novel which touches upon bullying, standing up for what's right and not judging anyone's capabilities too hastily, especially based on age. My youngest enjoys nature and is always asking interesting questions and giving me his wonderful insight on things. Seeing the world through his eyes has been a fascinating experience. I am so happy I've taken this journey with my family. With my support and his new motivation, my husband has grown his business and has made up for my loss of salary. He is our family's rock. And me, well I am our home's doctor, chef, maid, psychologist, chauffeur, editor, coach, lifeguard, travel agent, cheerleader, ... I am my kids mom! I went and did the right thing... Thank you! <br /><br />Respectfully yours, <br /><br />Tamar, Dr. Mom<br />
Staff
2015-08-12T17:59:00Z
I Make the Money, so I Controlled My Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Make-the-Money,-so-I-Controlled-My-Husband/-108181769210736529.html
2015-08-11T17:59:00Z
2015-08-11T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Having grown resentful and bitter in my marriage, I purchased "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060520620/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0060520620&linkCode=as2&tag=wwwdrlauracom-20&linkId=5AWR3PAVKGV2KTFV" target="_blank">The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands</a>" willing to try anything to save the relationship. In our marriage, I am the one who works and he stays home; we have no children. I have a great career as a nurse which can support us both. Unfortunately, I had gotten into the mentality that because I make all the money, he is my slave and had to do everything when I said and how I said to do it. My husband is an amazing man who cooks dinner every night, cleans the house, does the laundry and takes care of things outside the house. I had allowed money to become a status symbol and a way to control him. I had the mindset that even though he did everything around the house, if I wasn't working to pay all the bills, there would be no house for him to care for. I even did the all too common withholding sex because of my resentment towards him for being at home while I worked. I just finished reading your book and I am embarrassed that I have acted like so many women in there, but I am also grateful for the wakeup call. I will now give my husband the love and respect he deserves and let him know every day how lucky I consider myself to be married to such an amazing man! <br /><br />Thank you so much Dr. Laura. I truly believe you saved a marriage that was almost on its death bed. God bless you! <br /><br />Charlie<br />
Staff
2015-08-11T17:59:00Z
Time Spent With My Kids Is Worth The Work
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Time-Spent-With-My-Kids-Is-Worth-The-Work/256310329253916947.html
2015-08-10T17:59:00Z
2015-08-10T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I am fortunate to have been raised by a mom, whose job was to raise my sister and me, and I know that I'm a better person because of it. My wife and I have two young children and both of us have the opportunity to be at home with our children. My wife works part-time at home and I work full time at home with occasional travel. While this arrangement isn't without its occasional hardships, the benefits far outweigh the minor inconveniences. My wife and I love being able to spend more quality time with our children and share the responsibility of care. It really has been a wonderful experience.<br /><br />Anyone in your listening audience who has the opportunity to work from home (even part-time) should jump at the chance. While there are many jobs where this isn't an option, some employers extend this option because it is a benefit to them as well. Spending more time with the kids, sleeping better, feeling better overall, as well as spending less on gas and car maintenance or going out to lunch are just the few benefits I have enjoyed. I've found that I'm more productive at home as well. I can find a place to work and get things done without co-worker distraction and time wasting commuting. <br /><br />Thank you for all of the wonderful work you do and for truly caring for people. I tell people that you are frank and succinct and you tell people what they NEED to hear, not what they want to hear. <br /><br />Eric<br />
Staff
2015-08-10T17:59:00Z
Internet Safety For Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Internet-Safety-For-Kids/-465430249150470688.html
2015-08-07T17:59:00Z
2015-08-07T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Hi, Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Protecting kids from Internet predators is not all that difficult. These are the rules we followed in our house:<br /><br /><ol>
<li>The parents are responsible for their kids and are to provide love, their time, love, guidance, love, discipline and more love.</li>
<br />
<li>There is no kid "right to privacy" as that would be an abdication of love, discipline and guidance.</li>
<br />
<li>All computers are used in the common living space where they can be seen by the parents and browsing history can be reviewed as well as any other mysterious means of tracking we deem necessary. This was known and explained to the kids. Because we established a relationship where we love our kids and each other, they trust us to protect them. This was never a problem in our house.</li>
<br />
<li>We consistently invested the time with them on the computer to ensure that they had a lot of fun without getting into trouble. </li>
<br />
<li>They could always come to us with questions about what was appropriate behavior and what was risky browsing. If they ever saw something that was wrong or suspect, they talked to us about it.</li>
</ol><br />We had lots of fun together, and as they grew, they became savvy about safety. As young adults now they are solidly grounded. They understand the reasons why we made the rules we did and they're grateful for all the investment of time. We loved them too much to cede the teaching of values and safety to others.<br /><br />Dale <br />
Staff
2015-08-07T17:59:00Z
The 'Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands' Couple
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Proper-Care-and-Feeding-of-Husbands-Couple/-300250649058619164.html
2015-08-06T17:59:00Z
2015-08-06T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My husband of 15 years and I go to dinner each week for a date night. Recently, we were talking about one of your books and a couple overheard us. The woman asked us which book we were talking about, so we told her. She'd heard of you, but never listened or read any of your books.<br /><br />My husband decided to tell her of this "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060520620/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0060520620&linkCode=as2&tag=wwwdrlauracom-20&linkId=5AWR3PAVKGV2KTFV" target="_blank">Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a>" thing that I do that has changed his life! He told her that the simple task that I do each morning (bringing him a hot cup of coffee) has made him a better husband. The woman told him that she thought the man should wait on the woman, and my husband said "Well, to quote Dr. Laura, call me when your husband finds someone new!" Then another couple got in on the conversation and the woman in that couple also thought the man should wait on the woman. It was priceless to see the husbands of these women looking hopeful as my husband tried to convince them otherwise. No such luck, but my husband WAS able to convince about ten guys who were out for a "boys' night out" that your book would make a great gift.<br /><br />We're now known as the "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" couple. <br />Never a better compliment in my eyes.<br />Loving life with my husband,<br /><br />Janet<br />
Staff
2015-08-06T17:59:00Z
Finding Praise, Love and Attention
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finding-Praise,-Love-and-Attention/827284686913352407.html
2015-08-05T17:59:00Z
2015-08-05T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />The long-awaited play date with a friend from school finally arrived. My three girls, ages 10, 8 and 5 and the friend fluttered around the house. It was a very enjoyable and relaxing summer day. We decided to head to the local pool. Since we live in a small town, we were the only ones there for the first half hour. My 5 year old was showing off her swimming skills learned at a lesson the previous week. She had my full attention and praise as we played together.<br /><br />A few local kids trickled in, then a literal train of daycare children came in with their young babysitter leading them in. The babysitter pulled up a chair and propped herself in the shade with her cell phone. The daycare kids immediately glommed onto me as I was the only adult in the pool. They noticed there was someone interested in them as I commented on their big splash or impressive jump. They actually formed a line and took turns for my attention! My kids were content playing alone for a while and then would check in with a "Mommy, watch this!" After that momentary connection, my girls would go back to playing. But the daycare kids just rotated like a water wheel desperate for their next turn. <br /><br />Dr. Laura, I was the ONLY mother at the whole facility. I counted 25 kids and not a single mother or grown-up. I felt sad for those kids, but I did have a happy heart knowing at least my children would never have to find a random mother at the pool to find praise, love and attention. As I watched the child train leaving the pool, I was never more content with my life.<br /><br />Deanna <br />
Staff
2015-08-05T17:59:00Z
The Best Thing For My Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Best-Thing-For-My-Family/456854021719043140.html
2015-08-04T17:59:00Z
2015-08-04T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My wife and I have decided that it would be best for our children for her to stay home and raise them. This was not an easy decision. My wife makes half the household income and we are not wealthy people. While this will force us to make financial changes that will significantly affect our lives, we believe the trade-off will ultimately be worth it.<br /><br />I know that as a man and the head of my household, it's my responsibility to provide and support my family. I know doing this on my own will not be easy. I am at peace with the decision. I'm ready to put my own wants aside for the benefit of my family. I'm ready to be an example to my boys on what it means to be a husband, father, and a man. <br /><br />People often say that they can't do this because of financial reasons. While that may be true for some, in most circumstances, it's just not true. They won't do it because of wants. Two cell phones, cable television, gym memberships, fast food, five dollar coffees, two newer model cars and 2000 square foot houses are WANTS. They are not NEEDS. If you learn to focus on what's important and make the sacrifice, it can be done.<br /><br />Of course I'm nervous, but I am my kids' Dad. To all the wives out there - I am the man that I am because my wife is the woman she is. She makes me feel like a man because she treats me like one. She is loving and supportive, emotionally and physically. Because of this, I will move the world for that woman. Thank you Dr. Laura for standing on your principles, taking the heat for it, but never stopping. You stand up for what you know is right no matter how venomous the attack. YOU are an example of true fortitude and I deeply respect you for it.<br /><br />Ryan<br />Father, Husband, Man<br />
Staff
2015-08-04T17:59:00Z
Children of Divorced Parents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Children-of-Divorced-Parents/-218979929205292752.html
2015-08-03T17:59:00Z
2015-08-03T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am a 45-year-old woman and am still not over my parents' divorce. Blood is always thicker than water and it always will be. <br /><br />Year after year, I have had to watch my step-mom control all dates in the family, with her own children being privy to things that I am not. I have had to endure from afar while my dad celebrated holidays and his birthdays with his new family. I begged to come celebrate his 70th birthday and instead my step-mom had his celebration during the week when it was impossible for me to attend. <br /><br />Although we were close, my mom was always mad at me when I spent time with my dad. Once, when I told her I was going to visit him, she cried for a week. Divorce is a never ending battle for the children left in its wake and it doesn't end at the courthouse. To all the children of divorce, I am sorry if your parents remarry. It is a painful existence, feeling like you don't really fit anywhere in the family dynamic of their new lives. <br /><br />I have been married for 21 years and divorce was never an option for my husband and me. We are raising three daughters who know they are important and cherished on a daily basis. <br /><br />Kelli<br />
Staff
2015-08-03T17:59:00Z
Picking the Right Guy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Picking-the-Right-Guy/-869059292375126103.html
2015-07-31T17:59:00Z
2015-07-31T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />This morning as I was making breakfast for my dear husband, I felt the need to express my gratitude to you for helping me keep the most important relationship in my life a priority. Tomorrow we celebrate 27 years of marriage. During those years I have faithfully followed your wisdom and advice - you have been like a wise older sister who "knows stuff" and kicks me in the pants when necessary. If I found myself falling into a pity party, or being negative about some minor infraction committed by my otherwise wonderful husband, I heard your voice. I was jolted and reminded I picked the RIGHT GUY... <br /><br />
<ul>
<li>who got up and went to work each day no matter how he felt so I could focus on my most important and fulfilling role in life: being "my kids' mom and his wife." He understood that giving up my career meant a decrease in income but an increase in quality of our life. </li>
<br />
<li>who puts being a good husband and father above all other things in life. </li>
<br />
<li>who truly knows his daughters and participates in their lives even as adults. </li>
<br />
<li>who at 54 somehow manages to run marathons, cycle, and do triathlons with our adult daughters despite a busy work schedule. </li>
<br />
<li>who continues to encourage me to be my best person and still makes me feel like a million bucks when he flashes that smile letting me know how much he appreciates our home and life together. </li>
</ul>
<br />As we age and change, we are doing it together - no drama, no crisis - we focus on refining and reinforcing those things which we have built our life on and around. Finally, I hope all your listeners and readers always keep in mind that putting a career aside, no matter how many years you have invested in higher education, for the sake of your family and husband will always offer the greatest return on investment - as long as you pick the RIGHT GUY. <br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura for your guidance and tough love which have given me the tools and clarity to make good decisions and appreciate my right guy. The added bonus is that I became the right girl. <br /><br />As always, I am my husband's girlfriend and my kids' mom, <br /><br />Lori<br />
Staff
2015-07-31T17:59:00Z
There's a Reason It's Hard to Leave Your Child
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Theres-a-Reason-Its-Hard-to-Leave-Your-Child/-346728126073659412.html
2015-07-30T17:59:00Z
2015-07-30T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Two months ago, my supervisor's wife had a baby. Last week, she stopped by the office with the new baby, and mentioned how much she was dreading coming back to work. Long story short, they don't believe they can "afford" for her to stay home. I guess the day care bill seems more rational. <br /><br />Yesterday was her first day back and on her social media page, all her friends and family were encouraging her that she was doing the right thing, how it will get better with time, and how it will make those few hours she gets to see HER daughter that much more special. The comments made me sick to my stomach. Why on earth would anyone encourage a mother to leave her 2-month-old with strangers for 8+ hours a day? <br /><br />I discussed this with my husband and said the reason she was upset is because she knows she's doing the wrong thing. And all her "friends" who tell her it gets better with time, is like the expression, "tell a lie often enough and it becomes truth." The longer these women tell themselves that working is what's BEST for their child, rather than sacrificing frivolous expenses, a lifestyle or their career because they brought a human being into the world, the easier the lie becomes the truth. There is a reason it's so hard to leave your children, it's a built-in sense telling you your BABY needs YOU! Why do people have children, just to turn around and let someone else raise them? Children are NOT accessories to your life! I'm so glad I chose wisely and have a husband who wholeheartedly agrees that if and when we have kids, one of us will always be home with OUR children. If I need to work it will be from home, or on days my husband will be home. We are our imaginary children's parents. <br /><br />Michaela <br />
Staff
2015-07-30T17:59:00Z
Showing Respect for Spouse and Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Showing-Respect-for-Spouse-and-Marriage/-827129810224473973.html
2015-07-29T17:59:00Z
2015-07-29T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />A man or woman should never let themselves get into a situation that can be misinterpreted - particularly when married. I'm not saying I care what people think, but many love to gossip. And if it's during a rough patch of our marriage, I would never want my husband to wonder if I'm faithful. I love him and want him always to know we are a team. <br /><br />One time when my husband was out of town, a dear male friend of ours called. Instead of asking him to the house, I offered to meet him for breakfast. Then I told my husband of our plans. He was fine with that and I added I wouldn't have Bob over while I was home alone; it didn't seem proper. Hubby laughed, but I know he appreciated my actions. <br /><br />A new neighbor was walking her dog and asked my husband if she could see the view from our deck. She wasn't coming on to him, but out of respect for me, he told her we'd invite her over when I returned home. <br /><br />Even while we were dating, a group of guys at the office were going out for a meal at a place that was known its scantily clad wait staff. He declined going by telling them, "I don't think Maria would like that." One of guys said, "She won't know." My knight-in-shining armor said, "She might not know, but I would." <br /><br />It may sound silly to others, but it makes sense to me. We've been together for a few decades and treating each other with respect elevates our relationship. I'm happy to have an intelligent, loving man who respects me and I am honored to be his wife. The marriage is something we both protect and defend. I would NEVER do anything to make my husband feel jealous or less than #1 in my life. He's proven himself to me over and over with his actions and in turn I vow to do the same for him. <br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura for being a strong supporter of marriage and family. As our kids are grown and we now have a grandchild to dote upon, we really see the importance of a strong marriage which leads to a wonderful loving family.<br /> <br />Maria<br />
Staff
2015-07-29T17:59:00Z
Values
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Values/227458511031864466.html
2015-07-28T17:59:00Z
2015-07-28T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Two young ladies arrived a meeting wearing clothes that were quite revealing their body parts. The chairman of the meeting took a good look at them and asked them sit. Then he said, "Ladies, everything that God made valuable in this world is well covered and hardly to see, find or get. <br /><br /><ol>
<li>Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected.</li>
<br />
<li>Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell.</li>
<br />
<li>Where do you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers of rock and to get them, you have to work hard and dig deep down to get them. </li>
</ol><br />He looked at them with serious eyes and said; "Your body is sacred and unique" You are far more precious than gold, diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too. So, if you keep your treasured mineral just like gold, diamond and pearls, deeply covered up, a reputable mining organization with the requisite machinery will fly down and conduct years of extensive exploration. First, they will contact your government (family), sign professional contracts (wedding) and mine you professionally (legal marriage). But if you leave your precious minerals uncovered on the surface of the earth, you always attract a lot of illegal miners to come and mine you illegally. Everybody will just pick up their crude instruments and just have a dig on you just freely like that. Keep your bodies deeply covered so that they invite professional miners to chase you. Let us all encourage our wives, friends and daughters to dress well and decent!" <br /><br />Bonnie<br />
Staff
2015-07-28T17:59:00Z
Turning My Marriage Around
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Turning-My-Marriage-Around/-939955278523752486.html
2015-07-27T17:59:00Z
2015-07-27T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />For the past few weeks, I have been worried my husband was starting to have an emotional affair with a woman from work. They would talk on the phone for up to 90 minutes and text each other all the time. We were on the way to visit my parents one afternoon when we made a pit stop to meet this other woman at a house she was thinking of buying. She wanted his opinion. The house was not too far from where WE lived. I shook her hand and said, "So, you are the woman that flirts with my husband". She laughed and glanced at my husband, who smiled at her and then at me. <br /><br />My jealousy got the best of me and I started crying myself to sleep. Then it hit me. If I didn't want to lose my husband to another woman, I had to change my ways to keep him interested in ME. We hadn't been intimate for awhile and I was used to dressing down and not caring about my hair and stuff. A week ago, I started to dress up and make sure my hair and makeup were done before he walked in the house. I started touching him more and rubbing his back and shoulders after work. I started staying up later than I normally do just to sit with him or lay in bed and talk to him about the day. Finally, the other day we had spectacular sex and he said he loved me, which he hadn't said in awhile. I was the happiest woman in the world. <br /><br />He says he is having a hard time getting used to the new me, because I never used to touch him as much as I do now, but hopefully he will warm up to his new wife and we will have the best years of our lives in the future. Yes, the other woman is still in the picture, but I have a more positive feeling she will not be interfering in our relationship anymore thanks to all your help, books and comments. <br /><br />Nicole<br />
Staff
2015-07-27T17:59:00Z
My Compassionate Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Compassionate-Husband/508909730448264791.html
2015-07-24T17:59:00Z
2015-07-24T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />My husband and I met on a blind date. We were from two different worlds: he was entering the ministry and I was working in a factory trying to kick some bad habits. <br /><br />The first date was awkward, but we decided on a second. He picked me up from my apartment and we needed to stop by his home for a moment. While we were there, his elderly neighbor lady called and explained her husband was ill and could not take her to her eye appointment. Could my date possibly take her? When he got off the phone he explained he was sorry, but he couldn't let this woman down. He promised her she could rely on him. My date and this lady were in the front seat of the car as I sat in the back taking her to the eye doctor 50 miles away. At first, I did not know what to think of the situation. Then finally my wisdom kicked in and I realized I could live with this kind of compassion for the rest of my life. Thirty years later, I'm happy to say, he hasn't changed a bit! <br /><br />Cheryl <br />
Staff
2015-07-24T17:59:00Z
Being Tough
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-Tough/-115620854701070708.html
2015-07-23T17:59:00Z
2015-07-23T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />When my son was 18, he chose to leave home, only to ask to move back in at 21. I said no. He was not happy with me at all. Now 29, he has a great job and a baby on the way. <br /><br />My daughter was a heroin addict and after high school when I realized her problem, I told her to get help or get out. She too, was angry and blamed me for everything, but she left. At one time, I came to peace with the realization that my daughter would probably die from drug abuse. She proved me wrong. She lived and is amazing. My daughter is clean and chose "no drugs" for delivery or recovery during the birth of her child. <br /><br />I listen to your callers and I want to scream. I knew that saying no was the only way my children would find themselves. And they both did. I know they struggled, suffered and so did I -- silently. They never knew my pain, worry or tears. They pulled themselves out. They got it together. I am so proud of them. Raising kids that are able to succeed is very hard, but you've got to do the RIGHT THING -- even if it hurts -- because the payoff is phenomenal. <br /><br />Karen <br />
Staff
2015-07-23T17:59:00Z
Delayed Parenthood
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Delayed-Parenthood/-405135147196174343.html
2015-07-22T17:59:00Z
2015-07-22T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />My husband and I purposely delayed parenthood for 13 years after we wed. Although young, we recognized the importance of me staying home to care for our future babies. I really wanted a child when I was 24, but we were not in a position yet of living on one income. I felt if it did not work out where we could do that, it would not be fair to our child to have to leave the baby with a caregiver. <br /><br />Years passed and the opportunity to become self-employed came about where my husband and I could run our business from home together. We have owned our business now for 20 years and we have a 16-year-old son and 12-year-old daughter who are blessings to raise and enjoyable to spend time with. They are loving, caring souls who respond well to counsel from us as they navigate their teenage years. I believe the years spent with them when they were little whether it was reading, loving, or just being with them, have made this transition into young adulthood much smoother than it would have been if my husband and I had not made them the focus of our lives once we became parents. Our business has not been a picnic at times to deal with, but what job is? At least we have had flexible schedules and now have the satisfaction and joy of parenthood and the optimism that they will make wise decisions as they mature into adulthood. <br /><br />Carolyn<br /> <br />
Staff
2015-07-22T17:59:00Z
Nuts in Cookies
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Nuts-in-Cookies/599735963971985831.html
2015-07-21T17:59:00Z
2015-07-21T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura-- <br /><br />It all began with my stay-at-home mom listening to you while she baked, cooked, and rode in the car. Admittedly as a young teen, I would complain 'Ugh!! Dr. Laura AGAIN?!?' But now, I'm grateful for the years I spent listening to you. <br /><br />As I listen daily to your show and podcast I'm often reminded of how blessed I am to have the parents and upbringing I had. My parents have been married almost 40 years and love each other more today than they did yesterday. <br /><br />When Mom would bake cookies, brownies, etc. she would always bake them with nuts! Being a bratty teen, I would always say, "Mom! I don't like nuts in my cookies!" And being the outstanding wife she was she would simply smile and say, "Your dad likes nuts in his cookies. It's the little things." <br /><br />"Nuts in cookies" has become a metaphor for me in my life. My parents taught that love is something you DO. Love is a verb. I heard that phrase so often growing up and it's something I never tire of hearing. My husband and I often joke about 'nuts in cookies'. He likes little notes and cards. He even likes to kiss me even when I have lip-gloss on and don't want to get it on him. He says, "Babe! It's a nuts in cookies thing. I like it when you get lip-gloss on me." So I kiss him -- a lot. <br /><br />I write this to you, Dr Laura, as an ode. An ode to my parents and to you. "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" has further substantiated my beliefs in how to keep a marriage HAPPY! I'm most definitely my husband's girlfriend and he is indeed my sexy boyfriend. He tells me often how grateful he is for me. How much he loves coming home to a clean house and a hot meal and later a hot wife! He chases me around the kitchen trying to steal a kiss or a squeeze on the tush. He would without a doubt 'swim through shark infested waters just to bring me a lemonade'. And I for him. So I write you this, not to brag, but to hopefully help others believe that it can be done. A happy man and marriage is NOT impossible. <br /><br />Taped up to our mirror in our bathroom are two notes. One that says "nuts in cookies" as a reminder to just do the little things your spouse likes and the other note is "What can I do today to make him/her feel special?" Both of those things taught by my amazing parents and you, Dr Laura. <br /><br />Your forever grateful listener, <br /><br />Samantha <br />
Staff
2015-07-21T17:59:00Z
My Husband Is a Rock Star
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husband-Is-a-Rock-Star/570923377140454047.html
2015-07-20T17:59:00Z
2015-07-20T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />My husband and I have four sons. I called you a few years ago because my oldest son was being bullied in school. Your recommendation was that our son stand up for himself so the bullying would stop. My husband and I gave that instruction to our sons. <br /><br />Earlier this school year, our second son was in the PE locker room and got involved in an altercation with another boy. As reported by the school, the other boy started it. During the course of the altercation, the other boy started CHOKING my child. I found out when the school nurse called me to let me know he was in her office. Clearly, I was furious. Unfortunately, I was more than 30 minutes away, in the middle of an appointment. Thankfully my husband was at home, just waking up from working his swing shift. He is a police officer and his hours are often long and very hard on the family. <br /><br />When my husband got to the dean's office, he was told he needed to sign our son out from school and come back IN A WEEK to discuss the matter with the dean. He refused and let their office know that he would not be leaving without speaking to the dean. The secretary argued with him; stating the dean was too busy. He simply sat down and calmly told her he would not leave. The dean made time to speak with my husband and our son. She explained that although the other boy did choke our son, our son was being suspended because he pushed the boy off of him. She explained the district has a hands-off policy and he should have sought help from an adult. Then she started telling our son that in the real world, if two adults are involved in an altercation, they both go to jail. At that point, my husband interrupted her and said, "Don't lie to my son. That's not what happens in the real world." She looked at my husband, surprised and asked, "And just how would you know?" That's when my husband looked at our son and said, "Why don't you tell her what I do for a living?" and our son did. My husband explained that pursuant to our state's laws, the primary physical aggressor goes to jail, not someone defending themselves. <br /><br />In the end, our son was still suspended because of the district's policy. However, we were so proud of our son for standing up for himself that immediately upon leaving the school, my husband took him out for ice cream and told him how proud he was of him and he didn't care about the suspension. I married an amazing man, a rock star. He is the best part of my day and I'm so proud to be his adoring wife. <br /><br />Jen<br />
Staff
2015-07-20T17:59:00Z
Keeping Teens Straight
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-Teens-Straight/-551821127770475707.html
2015-07-17T17:59:00Z
2015-07-17T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I am my kid's mom, and have a son and daughter just one year apart. (Well, 361 days and 8 hours!) <br /><br />We were fairly strict parents, teaching our children accountability, respect, manners, and a good work ethic. I spent 13 years volunteering at their schools, and taxied them to every single event. But when they began driving, I knew we had to become a little more creative to monitor their activities. So whenever they went out, they were required to bring home "proof" of where they had been - a ticket stub, sports program, restaurant or shopping mall receipt, etc. I felt that even if they didn't attend the event/place they said they were going to, they at LEAST had to go there and buy something as proof - and use their OWN hard-earned money. Yes both kids had part-time jobs, and payed their own way for fun and recreational activities. <br /><br />Last year, my 32-year-old son and his dear wife visited us from out of state, and were staying at our home. One evening they went out with friends, and I was in bed before they returned. You can imagine my smile when I came downstairs the next morning to see 2 movie ticket stubs, and a dining receipt right there on the kitchen counter! I love my kids!! <br /><br />Oh, and by the way, did you know almost all receipts have a transaction time on them? LOL <br /><br />Laurie<br />
Staff
2015-07-17T17:59:00Z
What Never to Share About Your Spouse
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Never-to-Share-About-Your-Spouse/-253250365662445556.html
2015-07-16T17:59:00Z
2015-07-16T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I took a vow to my wife. I love her. She is not a perfect person, but neither am I. For 29 years of marriage, she has put up with all of my faults and shortcomings. We have raised two young men together (one of whom is developmentally disabled). She put up with frequent deployments while I was still in the military; she was left alone to take care of things at home while I was away. Now that I look back at what I just wrote, it seems to me that I owe her an awful lot. And I would never share anything that would put my spouse in a negative light, period. Why would I? <br /><br />I believe that love is not a feeling or an emotion. It's a choice. I made that choice decades ago, and I have zero regrets. My wife is a wonderful woman and I am blessed beyond measure to have her. And I should tell her that more often than I do. <br /><br />Thanks for what you do, Dr. Laura! Sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is knock a little sense into them. I've been listening to you for a long time--I was one of your students at USC--and I think your perspective has developed very well over time! <br /><br />Sean <br />
Staff
2015-07-16T17:59:00Z
I Listened and I am Proud of the Results
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Listened-and-I-am-Proud-of-the-Results/815403262508739275.html
2015-07-15T17:59:00Z
2015-07-15T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I am a divorced mother of two remarkable young men. Their father and I divorced 15 years ago because of his drug use and infidelity. I stumbled upon your show while the ink was still wet on my divorce papers and have been an avid listener since then. <br /><br />During the first time I heard your program, you had a caller who was divorced with children and had remarried. I listened as she described the drama of her life with new husband, old husband, and all the other players. I knew I didn't want that for my boys. I decided then and there I would TOTALLY commit myself to helping them to grow into strong independent men. <br /><br />This weekend, my older son graduated from high school with honors and is off to serve our country in the US Navy. My younger son is 16, an honor student, and has already been offered admission into 3 colleges. I am very proud of the men they are becoming. I owe much of that to the advice you have given over the years. I have been pegged an overly strict mom but when I look at the results, I don't think I would change much. <br /><br />Over the years well-meaning friends have tried to set me up on dates saying I needed to take care of myself or telling me it is not good for me to put everything into my kids. My boys have not been subject to a parade of men auditioning to be the next "daddy". They have never gotten attached to someone only to have them leave with no further contact. <br /><br />I wrote all of this to say to any "new" divorced moms devote your time to your kids. The rewards will be greater than looking back over a trail of drama and broken relationships. Your kids will be strong, confident and secure in the fact that they are loved and worthy of being someone's number one. <br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura for helping a young, inexperienced 20 something become the mother of some amazing young men. It has been a WONDERFUL ride! <br /><br />Toni <br />
Staff
2015-07-15T17:59:00Z
Doing the 'Natural' Thing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Doing-the-Natural-Thing/601343114098714688.html
2015-07-14T17:59:00Z
2015-07-14T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I wanted to share an experience I had with three sales women at my local shopping mall. Four weeks ago, I walked into a quaint boutique to purchase "hair" accessories to wear in my niece's wedding. The sales girls were extremely helpful and knowledgeable about fashion. They assisted me in picking out several hair clips and told me to return what did not work. I purchased six. <br /><br />Two weeks later after the wedding, I went to the same store to return the five unused hair clips and kept the one I wore. The sales women remembered me. When I received my "credit" receipt for the return, it was the same amount as my original "debit" receipt. I knew this couldn't be correct as I had kept an $18 hair clip. I didn't say anything at the time, but went home to investigate and realized the one I kept was never charged. <br /><br />About one week later, I returned to the store with the hair clip and the same three 20-something sales girls were there and once again remembered me. When I told them what had happened, and that I was there to purchase the item I was never charged for, you would have had to pick them up off the floor. They could not believe I had come back to buy the item, and questioned me as to why in the world would I have returned. I was so shocked by their reaction and looked all three dead straight in the face and told them I would expect NOTHING LESS from all of them. What I took from this experience was not what I did, but their reaction! I hope in some small way this was more of a lesson for them should they be in the same situation! I was taught these values by my parents as a small child. At 54, I am sad by the reaction of the sales staff. My behavior should be the norm and not the exception. <br /><br />Keep up the good work, your words and advice keep me encouraged! <br /><br />Nancy<br />
Staff
2015-07-14T17:59:00Z
Trip to the Zoo
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Trip-to-the-Zoo/308788053195025651.html
2015-07-13T17:59:00Z
2015-07-13T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My husband and I have flexible work schedules, and therefore, we biked to the nearby zoo. Resting on a bench, we decided to people watch before we animal watched. It was then I saw firsthand the importance of being your kid's mom. <br /><br />I watched as a group of children, from a local day care center, were hustled around from animal to animal while holding a long rope which was led by day care employee. The children looked tired and hot. They seemed to be dreading their time at the zoo, which broke my heart. As they shuffled past us, some other children came by with their mother. These children looked happy, hydrated, and were laughing. Their mother stopped at every exhibit, read the signs to them, and helped them see the animal in the exhibit. It was really touching to watch the love and attention these children were getting, plus they were actually LEARNING about the animals! <br /><br />All night, I couldn't stop thinking about those poor children, and how their parents probably think they're doing the right thing by working; yet these children were/are miserable. I am sure they would rather have more Mommy or Daddy time than a bigger house, more toys, and be nothing more than a number to day care center. If those children's parents think the day care employees really care about them, they're dead wrong. The treatment I witnessed at the zoo was not loving or care taking. On the contrary, it was same treatment cowboys give cattle when they're trying to herd them into their pens. This was an eye-opening experience for me, and I PROMISE I will raise my own child not have someone else do it, because I am going to raise a child, not a cow. <br /><br />Sandra <br />
Staff
2015-07-13T17:59:00Z
New View on My Mother-in-Law
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/New-View-on-My-Mother-in-Law/178245689220611043.html
2015-07-10T17:59:00Z
2015-07-10T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr Laura, <br /><br />I want to thank you for helping alter my view on my mother-in-law. <br /><br />Although my mother-in-law and I had an amicable relationship when my husband and I were first married, I always viewed her as invasive and annoying. When she would call or text my husband, I would roll my eyes and act pouty. Over the years, you have made some wonderful comments about daughter-/mother-in-law relationships. You have taught me to shift my view. She raised my husband, cares deeply for him and then I replaced her and, in a way, took him away from her. That must be very hard on her. And now that I see it from her point of view, I have compassion and a new found respect for her. I now encourage my husband to call her more often, try to visit more and still let them carry on that mother-son relationship. It took time, but through listening to you, I have learned she is not trying to compete with me - she just wants to carry on a relationship with her son, and I would be a terrible wife to whine and nag about her constantly. <br /><br />Thank you so much for guiding me over the years, and teaching us wives how to make our hubbies happy and making our marriage wonderful.<br /><br /> Erin<br />
Staff
2015-07-10T17:59:00Z
Hell Bent!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hell-Bent!/-290004302901288048.html
2015-07-09T17:59:00Z
2015-07-09T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I find it very difficult to be proud of myself because of the mistakes I have made, but you forced me to examine myself around the times I stood up and had a backbone.<br /><br />First, I told my husband I would never live with a man until I was married; he proposed soon after. <br /><br />I also told my husband, if he wanted me to work that was fine, but I wasn't having babies. We now have 4 kids! <br /><br />And lastly, when my first child was born, he was premature and was in the NICU for 2 weeks. I was with him all day - every day. Because he was too weak to breast feed, the doctors told me he never would. It is more difficult for a baby to suckle from the breast than it is the bottle. When I brought my son home, I was more than terrified. He had no body temperature control so we were constantly wrapping and unwrapping him. He could not get sick, so when close family wanted to see him, they were clothed in masks and bathed in hand sanitizer. The only reason he ate was because I constantly splashed cool water on him and thumped the bottom of his precious teeny-tiny feet to keep him awake to eat. At 2 months old, he learned to nurse. I never quit. <br /><br />My son is now 9 years old and normal. He has zero health problems. He plays sports. He is smart, helpful and very respectful. <br /><br />So there you go. I was stubborn and against the odds, but I stood up and it all worked out. <br /><br />Hannah<br />
Staff
2015-07-09T17:59:00Z
The Grass Isn't Always Greener
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Grass-Isnt-Always-Greener/-299865967567933675.html
2015-07-08T17:59:00Z
2015-07-08T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />A few days ago, my family and I were on a day trip with a friend and her kids riding in two cars. I'm not sure why, but during the drive I started having a pity party for myself. I was thinking how sad it was my husband doesn't bring me flowers for no reason, or other little things like that. <br /><br />On the way home, my friend's car broke down. We got out to help her and my husband began asking for the normal things to have in a car: water bottles, rags, spare quart of oil... She didn't have any of the things we needed. Her car got fixed and we all got home safe. And then it hit me... <br /><br />I have the kind of husband who makes sure I have everything I might need. He may not bring me flowers or be the most romantic man, but I know he is always thinking of me. He shows his love by making sure I'm always taken care of. These are things that make lasting marriages. Anyone can send flowers, but a real man makes sure his wife is safe. My husband is in the Navy and his selflessness for our family, friends, and, most importantly, country amazes me every day. He is an incredible father and I finally realize he is also an incredible husband. I am going to get a copy of your book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" so I can take care of him as well as he takes care of me. <br /><br />I hope this email will help wives realize that men show love in many different ways. <br /><br />Thanks for your candor and unapologetic advice. <br /><br />Holly<br />
Staff
2015-07-08T17:59:00Z
YOU Can Have It All!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/YOU-Can-Have-It-All!/763540294740724943.html
2015-07-07T17:59:00Z
2015-07-07T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />When I tell someone I am a stay-at-home mom, I am often asked, "What do YOU do all day with your kids?" They say it with such an exasperated air, like just the thought is exhausting them. One friend once said, "I don't know how you do it. I need time away from my baby. Time for me." Clearly, we speak a different language. I sometimes want to respond, "Oh, I don't know, I just spend my days TRYING TO KEEP TWO KIDS ALIVE," but I think that might come off a little harsh. So I just shrug my shoulders and tell them how these days with my girls are precious and there is always time for work in the future. <br /><br />I guess I just never bought into the feminist adage, "YOU can have it all!" It's a mentality that you can keep adding weights to a barbell and still balance it over your head. Nope. One day, that barbell is going to drop and it is going to hurt. But, on second thought, I have my own way of defining "having it all." Last night, as I tucked my girls into bed, I could not help reliving our day of art projects, reading, and cooking lessons. A normal day I would never want to take back. I am a mother who can confidently say my amazing husband and I are raising to two kind, courageous, funny girls and, yes, they are beautiful, too, sorry...had to say it. This is all I need. <br /><br />I DO have it all. <br /><br />Emily <br />
Staff
2015-07-07T17:59:00Z
Keeping My Values
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-My-Values/-368011754587077923.html
2015-07-06T17:59:00Z
2015-07-06T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I've been listening to you from the time I was around 17 years old. I have always loved your show and your conviction to standing for what is right and not following the crowd. <br /><br />My mom stayed at home to raise my brother and me while my dad worked, sometimes three shifts, as a police officer. I knew from a very young age I wanted to be a mom and would not settle for any man who didn't have the same mindset about me staying at home with our future children. I was dating a man who was talking marriage and I explained to him I would work until we had children. He laughed and told me I'd never find a man who was okay with his wife "sitting around all day while he was hard at work." I told him if I didn't find that type of man, I guess I just wasn't going to get married at all. I broke up with him then and there. <br /><br />I'm am very fortunate to have found my husband, of nearly fifteen years, who does have the same values as I do. I have been a stay-at-home mom since my first bout of morning sickness 12 years ago. It is the best job in the world. My generation seems to have it all mixed up. I can't even imagine sending my 6-week-old baby into the arms of a nanny or day care for them to do my job. Your influence, along with my mom's influence are the reasons I feel like one of the very few moms nowadays who has everything put together just right. I am so blessed to have a happy husband, happy kiddos, and the life I always dreamed of. Thank you for all you do and your encouragement for us stay-at-home moms. <br /><br />Jenni<br />
Staff
2015-07-06T17:59:00Z
The Night I Almost Met You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Night-I-Almost-Met-You/85297560328198364.html
2015-07-01T07:00:00Z
2015-07-01T07:00:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Quite a few years ago, you were going to appear at a local bookstore. I never had the urge to be in the presence of my favorite singers or actors, but I VERY much wanted to hear what someone I respected so highly had to say. Weeks in advance, I arranged for my 15-year-old babysitter to come over after school so I would get to see you in time. On the day of your appearance, she called to tell me she could not come because her mother (still married to her father and living with him at home) wanted her to clean the house so that her boyfriend (yes, the mother's boyfriend) would not see the mess when he visited. Is that ironic or what? I missed seeing you because someone who really should have seen and heard you was doing something she would not be doing if she thought like you. I was so mad - mad that I'd miss meeting you, and mad at my babysitter's mother for setting such a horrible example. <br /><br />At 17, my babysitter had a child out of wedlock by her abusive boyfriend. At 20, she had another child out of wedlock with another man. Her mother welcomed both men into her home and let them sleep over whenever they wanted. As of today, they all live together at the mom and dad's house. I don't have much contact with them anymore - just a sad thing. What are my former babysitter's children going to grow up thinking is right?<br /><br />Paulette <br />
Staff
2015-07-01T07:00:00Z
I've Grown Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ive-Grown-Up/-83011934803805056.html
2015-06-30T07:00:00Z
2015-06-30T07:00:00Z
<br /><br />Eighteen years ago, I called you about a question I had. You asked me about something else as there is a 10 year difference in age between my husband and me. I got snotty and you hung up on me, as I deserved. You also stated we'd probably be divorced in 5 years. I determined in my mind I was going to beat the odds and set out to prove you wrong. That was the wrong attitude to take, but a great goal. Here we are 18 years later and we're still going strong, but not without a lot of bumps and heartaches. <br /><br />Long story short: his parents were murdered 10 years ago and in the next 7 years, we lost our health, our jobs AND our home. It's only been in the last 3 years, we've finally gotten our feet under us again. But we told each other a long time ago, the only way you get out of this is when you're dead, so get comfy. There has been many, many times we've had to actually go away for full weekends and give the other one their space so we could get things in perspective and talk like adults, not fight like children. It was so bad at one point, we moved in with my parents for about 1 year. But that time saved us. We were able to get our health AND our financial health back. We moved 100 miles away from our old life and started anew. By the grace and mercy of God, we have made it thus far and we will continue until God takes one of us home. <br /><br />I just wanted to let you know I appreciate your stand and the fact you pushed a bratty 21 year old by telling her she wouldn't make it. She set out to prove you wrong and found that her love for God, her husband, and her kids were greater. We have read your books and I just got "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage". I can't wait to dive into it and see if I can continue to make changes in me to help my family. This year we celebrated 21 years of marriage. He's my boyfriend and I am his girlfriend. We make time to be together and we still date. Our kids "hate" it when they walk into the kitchen and we're "flirting" instead of cooking dinner. So this bratty 21 year old finally grew up. <br /><br />Once again, Thank you have a wonderful and blessed day.<br /><br />Misty Jo <br />
Staff
2015-06-30T07:00:00Z
Why Men Aren't Marrying
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Men-Arent-Marrying/538232575091167255.html
2015-06-29T15:58:00Z
2015-06-29T15:58:00Z
<br /><br />I have been married for 49 years. The young people today have no commitment. They stay as children until they are 26. In my day, you were expected to be self-supporting by the time you were 20. You were also expected to be an adult by the time you were 18.<br /> <br />We raised our children to be able to be on their own by the time they were 18. All but one have several degrees they earned on their own - we only furnished room and board. I have one who going to school because she does not want some 20-year-old to be her boss. <br /><br />I have told my children and grandchildren: WHY BUY THE COW WHEN THE MILK IS FREE? If it is not worth working for, it is not worth keeping. It is also not worth giving a ring to. <br /><br />Proud dad, <br /><br />Eugene <br />
Staff
2015-06-29T15:58:00Z
My Hero in My Heart
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Hero-in-My-Heart/681902120417700917.html
2015-06-26T17:59:00Z
2015-06-26T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Recently, you talked about your hero, Harriet Tubman. My hero is my husband a retired Senior Chief Operations Specialist, United States Navy. My husband had been in the Naval Reserves all of our marriage when he was activated in 2010 and sent to Iraq. While on his first mission, his convoy was hit by an IED. Thank God it was a small one and no one was killed, although there were injuries and my husband lost part of his hearing. Despite this and the fact he was a kidnap target due to his position in Baghdad, he continued to volunteer for more missions than anyone else. As a result, all the men and women he served with came home safely. <br /><br />Additionally, my husband undertook, completely voluntarily, a mission to provide adjustable wheelchairs to disabled Iraqi children. These wheelchairs, teddy bears and hugs that he and his team supplied enabled a large number of families to be more mobile and independent. <br /><br />For his courage in the face of continuous threats and his efforts in his work and life, he was awarded the Bronze Star for Valor. Wherever he goes, Andy spreads kindness and caring, although he pretends to be a complete grouch. I love that grouch and am proud to be celebrating our 22nd wedding anniversary. <br /><br />Fondly, <br /><br />My husband's wife aka Karen, the Admiral<br />
Staff
2015-06-26T17:59:00Z
A Look at You in My Mirror
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Look-at-You-in-My-Mirror/212653488253842209.html
2015-06-25T17:59:00Z
2015-06-25T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I wrote this to my wife for no real reason. It made me think of a few callers you have had on your show who think they have to have the perfect body for their husbands. I call it "A look at you in my mirror!" <br /><br />You see an aging female that doesn't look like a "super model". I see the most precious, sweet, beautiful, desirable, sexy, sensual, feminine, woman that no air brushing could ever fake. You are the guidelines of what a "super model" is portrayed to be. A super model is a woman that flawlessly emanates natural beauty. A woman who can steal a man's attention and turn him into a wanting, needing, sex-desiring, fumbling idiot. You being that "super model", surrounded by a trusting, deep-matured committed love, leaves no needs unfulfilled for a man to eagerly "swim thru shark infested waters to bring his wife a lemonade" and go back again to get the little umbrella to shade the ice cubes. <br /><br />You see the gray coming into your hair as a sign of getting old. I see the maturing of our love and nature perfecting beauty. You see the aging in your face. I see your heart as it glows from your face. The "evidence of aging" is the depth of the beauty of your love you express to me when you smile at me. You see what you call "only the sacks your boobs came in". I see the hard work and commitment you gave to lose weight and be healthy so we can have more days together expressing and experiencing our love. You see the stretch marks and extra skin from giving birth. I see the most beautiful representation of a precious gift that only a woman's love can give to a man. I see the mothering love you gave to our children to protect, guide, support, and care for. I see the verification of beauty that only a truly loving and appreciative husband can see. <br /><br />You see a little fat around your waist and legs. I see the sexiest, most sensual curves, with desirable femininity that turns on a man's endless, almost uncontrollable need to show his wife what she does to him sexually. I struggle to find words that don't insult astounding feelings that could never be explained. I have an endless deep and respectful desire for you. I can't get enough of you! Making love to you seems to be the only way I can show you how much you mean to me. Knowing that I have your respect, admiration, and your desire, will give me the want and strength to gently and safely place you on the highest pedestal to be rewarded with the true beauty of your love that you give fully and only to me. <br /><br />Next time you look in the mirror, see what you have just read. Then you will see how breathtaking beautiful you truly are. <br /><br />Cliff <br />
Staff
2015-06-25T17:59:00Z
How to Keep Your Husband HAPPY!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-to-Keep-Your-Husband-HAPPY!/206366793362754181.html
2015-06-24T17:59:00Z
2015-06-24T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I have been married for 13 years with 3 young children. I am now my husband's very loving girlfriend. But for the first half of our marriage I was not....sometimes I wasn't even his friend. I did not have a clear picture from my childhood on how to be a loving wife. Awhile ago, it took my husband telling me that I could leave if I wanted because he felt there was nothing he could do to make me happy. So that was the plan, to separate. <br /><br />My dad told me something that stopped me in my tracks. Something that I now hear you tell many women who are where I was many years ago. He told me, "You need to know that if you leave him, another woman will be raising and loving on your children as a mom. Can you be ok with that?" Of course I could not. And neither could my husband. We got down to work and talked through so much, went to counseling, prayed together and really drug ourselves out of the trenches that we found ourselves in. We still have ups and downs, but truly LOVE one another. And mostly, respect one another. <br /><br />Which brings me to two months ago. My sister-in-law called and said she was going to leave her husband. Nothing could change her mind. She was done. I uttered those same wise words that my dad had told me, not knowing if they had sunk in or not. Three days later she called me with a new attitude telling me for 3 solid nights she laid in bed imagining another woman raising her children. And them calling her Mom. She knew what she had to do. They too are now on the long, but very important road to happiness and mutual respect for each other. <br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura for telling couples thinking of divorce the truth! <br /><br />Laurie <br />
Staff
2015-06-24T17:59:00Z
Mommy, When I Grow Up...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mommy,-When-I-Grow-Up.../613492002072303918.html
2015-06-23T17:59:00Z
2015-06-23T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura: <br /><br />Before I had my first child, I had a professional career for over 10 years. When my husband and I had our first baby we assumed we would go the day care route so I could continue to work. One look at a day care center, with cribs lined up in long rows, and we quickly decided that was not for us. I got a lot of pressure from colleagues, friends, and even family members to go back to work. "Why on earth would you want to stay home? Why did you go to school for so long, just to stay home?" I resisted the temptation to argue back. <br /><br />Seventeen years later we have three awesome children, who appreciate their stay-at-home mom and all she has done. It was our youngest daughter that gave me a smile...."Mommy, when I grow up I want to be a lawyer like you for a while, and then be a stay-at-home mom." I told her that was a good plan! <br /><br />Thank you for encouraging professional moms and all moms to stay at home with their kids. To the working moms out there, just think when you are on your deathbed, thinking of your life, will you say, "Gee I wish I had spent more time at work" or will you say "Gee I wish I had spent more time with my kids." <br /><br />Melissa<br />
Staff
2015-06-23T17:59:00Z
I Chose Wisely, But Forgot...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Chose-Wisely,-But-Forgot.../-701671167273579185.html
2015-06-22T17:59:00Z
2015-06-22T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr Laura, <br /><br />You are so correct when you say choose wisely and treat kindly. <br /><br />I've been married for 20 years to a good man, but neither of us were brought up with the skills or role models to properly set us up for a fulfilling marriage. As time went along and the trials of life took their toll, we each retreated from one another instead of recognizing we needed help. Ultimately, we were not treating kindly even though we had chosen wisely. I began being resentful and unkind, he became even further withdrawn. The cycle continued as we both remained set in our unhealthy patterns. <br /><br />I recently found out he had a one-time affair. Of course, I am devastated. But thankfully, your words were the first thing that resounded in my mind as I began to process and unravel what would have led to this. Simply, I wasn't being a good wife. I had been selfish instead of loving. I know I didn't deserve to have this happen, but I am convinced I didn't do the things I needed to do to affair proof my marriage. You are correct: choose wisely and treat kindly as even good people can end up feeling devalued enough in their relationship to make such serious mistakes. It is only now we are seeking help and treating each other with proper respect. It's a shame so much hurt had to occur to get to this place. <br /><br />I thank you for helping me through a trying time and please keep on keeping on as your messages could not be more needed. <br /><br />With much appreciation, <br /><br />Kim <br />
Staff
2015-06-22T17:59:00Z
The Art of Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Art-of-Love/827428838753485847.html
2015-06-19T17:59:00Z
2015-06-19T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I hear you discuss the role parents have in their children's lives, and I grew up in a great home for that. But with Father's Day approaching, there is one person whose steady hand and simple acts of kindness left behind a legacy of love for which I have tremendous gratitude--my paternal grandfather. <br /><br />My grandfather was born into a family of limited means and he had to stop going to school after 7th grade. Once he married my grandmother, he took a job working 14 hour days. They lived in a tiny wartime house. Every night, when he got home, he would check in on his four boys to make sure they were doing their homework. He stressed the importance of an education, wanting more for his sons. It worked. My father became a teacher, high school principal, and superintendent. <br /><br />As a boy, my dad planted rose gardens for my grandma because she loved them so. When he left for college, Dad taught Grandpa how to care for them. <br /><br />My dad also painted and one night Grandpa picked up one of Dad's brushes and thus began something beautiful. By the time Grandpa passed away, he had painted over 150 canvases. But there is one painting, which inspires and motivates me to this day. He titled it "Roses for Loretta" - my grandmother. <br /><br />My grandmother suffered and died from Alzheimer's disease. When Grandpa could no longer care for her, he made the difficult decision to place her in long-term care. Every day, he would cut roses from her gardens and bring them to her. When he sold the house, he bought her roses, even when she got to the point where she no longer remembered him. <br /><br />After Grandma passed away, he painted a picture of various colored roses - each color represented a part of their relationship. He also framed it and between the paper backing and the painting, he quietly hid his favorite photo of her - taken when they were engaged. We found the photo by accident when the paper backing was damaged during a move. <br /><br />Today, I proudly display this painting as a visual, tangible, example of the real love that has shaped the person I have become. It is a legacy of love I hope to pass on to my children. I wish my grandfather could know the bounty that has flourished from his seeds of love, hard work and quiet gestures that he planted so many years ago. <br /><br />Vanessa<br />
Staff
2015-06-19T17:59:00Z
Re: Kids and Divorce
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Re:-Kids-and-Divorce/214327423218085615.html
2015-06-18T17:59:00Z
2015-06-18T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />You say divorce has a long-lasting effect on children, and I am living proof. I am 62 years old and have been married for 40 years. My parents divorced when I was 8 years old. My father disappeared and we didn't re-connect until I was 16. <br /><br />When I was 19, I married a boy I had been sneaking around with since I was 11 and he was 15. The marriage was annulled after 8 months when he found a new girlfriend. It's a miracle I never got pregnant. <br /><br />My now-husband is of Sicilian descent and has ADHD and one of our inside jokes is he thanks me for not killing him and we laugh. But at our last anniversary celebration, when he thanked me for not killing him, I told him tearfully, "You always say that, but the truth is, in MY world men leave. So thank you for not leaving me." Until that point, I had never voiced my fear that I felt it was inevitable he would leave because that's what men do. Forty years of a good, strong relationship, and I was still that 8-year-old child waiting to be abandoned. <br /><br />Thank you for your continual affirmation that kids need their dads and that kids don't just bounce back from divorce. The effects of divorce last a lifetime. <br /><br />Anne <br />
Staff
2015-06-18T17:59:00Z
My Proclamation of Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Proclamation-of-Love/-654528109044964611.html
2015-06-17T17:59:00Z
2015-06-17T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My 92-year-old mom is an example of what a mom and wife should be. Unfortunately, we lost my dad this February. They were married for 69 years and all of us experienced the love they had for each other for all of those years. <br /><br />My Proclamation of Love<br /><br />Mom, <br /><br />When I learned I was going to be a mother, I wished I could be a mother even half as good as you have been. I believe had it not been for having six children, you would have made a wonderful school teacher. Instead you taught us about life. Your A, B, C's were:<br />
<ul>
<li>Always find the good in everyone.</li>
<li>Become the best you can be.</li>
<li>Care and love and you shall be cared for and loved. </li>
</ul>
There were other lessons like: <br />
<ul>
<li>You don't have to share your pizza.</li>
<li>Some people should stay away from sewing machines.</li>
<li>Learn to laugh at yourself. </li>
</ul>
You taught me I can make it through anything life throws at me, because there is no other option and things will always get better. And they do. You taught me I can live on a little bit, but have a lot. And I have. Most of all, you taught me how to love and not to be afraid to say I love you - out loud. <br /><br />So, this is my proclamation: Mom, you are the best mother in the world and always have been. I am so happy and blessed that you are mine. <br /><br />Maureen <br /><br />
Staff
2015-06-17T17:59:00Z
A Wake-Up Call
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Wake-Up-Call/659325477041133420.html
2015-06-16T17:59:00Z
2015-06-16T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was so moved by something my daughter's friend said today that I am still reeling from it. I put myself through 8 years of higher education, but when my daughters were born I chose to put my hard-earned career on the back burner. Once they went to school I started seeing patients again, 12 hours a week while they were gone or their dad was home. <br /><br />Flash forward a decade or so. Our girls, now 17 and 18, had a friend stop over right after school today. She stared open-mouthed as I made a huge fruit and cheese plate as a snack, and then chatted and laughed with them as I prepared dinner. During a lull in the chaos, she quietly said, "Is your house like this every day? Like you are home and make the girls snacks and food and catch up with them? I don't think my mom has ever been home after school, and I can't remember the last time she prepared or ate dinner with me." She just looked so sad. Dr. Laura, my heart just wept for this young lady. She is so smart, kind and funny; not only is she missing out on the parenting front, they are missing out on her. <br /><br />So if any of your listeners think their kids don't need them at any age, they are so, so wrong. Our youngest will go off to college in a year, and though I know we will always be close, I will miss these spontaneous magic moments of togetherness. <br /><br />A bright spot in this story of a sad young girl, missing her mom? As she was walking out the door she paused, turned back to me and said, "Someday, I'm going to be a mom just like you". <br /><br />Thank you for your tough-love in supporting and encouraging parents to do the right thing. I am forever grateful for the Dr. Laura voice I have in my head - it has made me a better wife and mother. Of that, I am certain. <br /><br />Best, <br /><br />Tania <br />
Staff
2015-06-16T17:59:00Z
The Emotional Epicenter of My Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Emotional-Epicenter-of-My-Home/332085655962863382.html
2015-06-15T17:59:00Z
2015-06-15T17:59:00Z
<br />I am my kids' mom. I am my husband's wife. Just wanted to send you a note of thanks. <br /><br />I married my husband 19 years ago. He was raised by two feminist hippies - who did not have an amicable divorce. Originally, my husband detested the whole concept of stay-at-home moms. He thought they were "Stepford wives" who "didn't think for themselves" or "loafed off their husbands." He doesn't think that anymore. I stay home with our two daughters- now 9 and 11. I drive the carpools, I make the dinners, I do the laundry. My husband works hard... and considers the fact I stay home to be one of the reasons he works so hard. <br /><br />I can't put my finger on what turned the tide for him. I know when he became a father, the idea of anyone else raising his children but us, gave him pause. I know after a long day, when he comes home to a happy house filled with dinner and laughter- that it reinforces our decision. I am not perfect, but I do know I am the emotional epicenter of my home, and my family. And I do not apologize for that. I love this job, Dr. Laura. <br /><br />I thank you for encouraging others to do the same. <br /><br />Kristen <br />
Staff
2015-06-15T17:59:00Z
He Deserves More
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Deserves-More/829968530256673648.html
2015-06-12T17:59:00Z
2015-06-12T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />This is a warning to wives. You are not safe. I spent the last decade of my marriage occasionally being my husband's girlfriend, but mostly being a naggy wife. I assumed because I married a good man, I could put in minimal effort and he'd "understand" because he loved me and loved the family we made. I was wrong. He needed me. He needed me to love him. He needed me to want him. He needed me to need him. Instead I relied on him and demanded of him without being grateful. It's his job, right? He lost interest in being my one-sided support and as a result lost interest in me. <br /><br />Life is hard, children are challenging and marriage takes work. I can tell you that any inconvenience you face when caring for your husband is microscopic compared to the pain you'll feel when he realizes he deserves so much more. <br /><br />Karen <br />
Staff
2015-06-12T17:59:00Z
Life Is All About Perspective
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Life-Is-All-About-Perspective/496946767018551383.html
2015-06-11T17:59:00Z
2015-06-11T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I've got a 2 1/2-year-old and a 7-month-old. It's quite a handful managing them both and I rarely get a break to get out and do something by myself. Lately I've started to feel a bit depressed. The monotony of the continuous housework really got to me: endless laundry, dishes, meals, trips to the same parks and places every week. My infant also cries in the car regularly, and my toddler of course, tests every limit relentlessly. I started to wonder if I was really cut out for being a stay-at-home mom, because I could not really find joy in it anymore. I felt that nothing in my life was mine. No part of my day was something I wanted to do. It was just chores, tantrums, and crying. I started thinking seriously about going back to work. I knew I needed to hear your advice, since listening to your show is what made me want to be a SAHM in the first place. So I purchased and read "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Praise-Stay-at-Home-Moms-Laura-Schlessinger/dp/0061690309/ref=pd_sim_14_11?ie=UTF8&refRID=17ME321RCD95TVT23JZ0" target="_blank">In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms</a>". Your book saved me from continuing to be the spoiled brat I knew I was being but didn't know how to change. <br /><br />Life is all about perspective, and those two girls I love so much depend on ME and need ME. I brought them here because I wanted them. Life isn't about ME anymore... It's about THEM. The part of my day that is for me is in giving them an amazing childhood they can cherish their whole lives. And in loving and supporting them so I can see those happy smiles and bubbly giggles. Yes, the chores are endless, but now when I do them, I think about how I'm making the home a lovely place for my husband and children and that motivates me to keep doing them. It was relieving to hear you talk so much about how intelligent, and educated women are NOT wasting their lives by staying home with their children. I think society had brainwashed me. <br /><br />Thank you for giving me the inspiration I needed to be my husband's girlfriend and my kid's mom. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Allison <br />
Staff
2015-06-11T17:59:00Z
I Found My Purpose
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Found-My-Purpose/48327691047481088.html
2015-06-10T17:59:00Z
2015-06-10T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was in the kitchen baking cookies while listening to your podcast. You asked listeners to put their hand up if they were adoring and sweet, and if their man would climb a mountain to carry you down and think nothing of it. I dropped my spatula, shot my hand up and shouted! "Me! That's me!" I immediately picked up my phone, snapped a picture of the fresh baked cookies and sent it to my husband with a kiss emoji. <br /><br />My husband is a very hardworking farmer, a real man, and I am his adoring farm wife, raising 2 kids, 2 dogs, 1 cat and 3 chickens! I keep the kitchen warm with fresh baked items and meals for him to come home to. Our farm has 3 sites all within about a mile of each other. <br /><br />Recently, I loaded the kids in the car to take them to town and noticed the gas level was very low. It was raining, and I was nicely dressed, so I called my husband, who was working on some equipment, and asked him if he could do me a favor. He responded as he always does, "You bet!" I asked him if he'd be willing to drive over and meet me at our fuel barrel on the farm because I didn't want to get out of the car and get muddy. Again, he responded, "You bet, I'll be right over!" I felt silly, because I was perfectly capable, but he showed up with a huge grin and asked for a kiss in return. <br /><br />This man has done so much more for me and our family, and I know he will always drop anything for his adoring wife. In return, he knows that he will always come home to a warm meal, laundered clothes, a clean house, happy kids and most importantly, a loving and affectionate wife. We always have time for each other, and no task or favor is too big or too small, even if the purpose is just to put a smile on one another's' face. <br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura, because of you, and my amazing husband, I stopped searching for value in a career, and found my purpose in my home, as a wife and a mother. I get out of bed every morning, go to my kids' rooms and wake them up for school with a kiss, and wonder how I could have possibly wanted to miss out on those special moments each and every day with them. <br /><br />My husbands' adoring and sexy girlfriend, <br /><br />Jana <br />
Staff
2015-06-10T17:59:00Z
Driving My Son to School
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Driving-My-Son-to-School/-495945840112655457.html
2015-06-09T17:59:00Z
2015-06-09T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My 10-year-old son is on the Autistic Spectrum with mild Asperger's Syndrome tendencies: he talks a lot, has no filter for his thoughts, but follows the rules. He was at a new school this year with smaller class sizes. He has no problems academically, as kids like him are usually very smart, but not all of the kids get him or take the time to understand his overzealous behaviors. As the school is 30 minutes away, and is the opposite direction of my other son's school, I put him in a carpool with some neighborhood children. After one week, I was told the other children were not happy with my son in the carpool. Let me tell you what has happened since then... <br /><br />Because I started driving him to school, I had to switch to a different spin class which I don't like as much. My gas bills have hit the roof, my back aches and my butt hurts from hitting the brakes all through rush hour traffic every morning. BUT, I have gotten to know my son. I mean REALLY know my son. For those 30 minutes each way where it is just the two of us, no distractions, no older brother, no homework, we have had AMAZING conversations! Although I have been a stay-at-home mom his whole life, there have been plenty of missed opportunities for these incredible, intense talks. This morning, he learned about the food supply chain, causes and treatments for cancer, and corruption in government. I, on the other hand, learned how incredibly heavy lead is: 708 lbs. per cubic feet. Bet you didn't know THAT! Captain America is a Marvel and not a DC superhero - a mistake I will not make twice and that there are at LEAST one hundred billion galaxies in the observable universe! <br /><br />No carpool needed next year. I'm going to get to know my wonderful, funny, talkative, inquisitive son even better! <br /><br />Kori <br />
Staff
2015-06-09T17:59:00Z
A Broken Leg and Dr. Laura Saved My Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Broken-Leg-and-Dr.-Laura-Saved-My-Marriage/663535436807052445.html
2015-06-08T17:59:00Z
2015-06-08T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I have been married 14 years and we have two children - 9 and 7. Along the way I became a great mom and a crappy wife. I have actually said these statements multiple times: <br /><ol>
<li>If I would just be nice my husband, he would do anything for me.</li>
<br />
<li>Why does my husband not understand that at the end of the day, I don't want anyone in my face needing anything - not the kids or him! </li>
</ol>How can an educated women not see the flaw in those two thoughts! <br /><br />Recently my husband broke his leg. My estrogen took over and all I wanted to do was take care of him. Simultaneously, I became aware that lack of intimacy was one of the top relationship killers. During my caretaking, I realized I felt better loving on my husband. He felt better, and was happy and complimentary. I bought "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and it all seems like such a no brainer! Without the injury, I don't know when I would have finally put the pieces together to fix our marriage. Your advice is so right on and what it takes to make him happy is so simple. Luckily, I choose wisely and am now treating kindly. I am grateful to have heard all the advice you have given over the years and so happy I finally implemented it!! <br /><br />Jessica<br />
Staff
2015-06-08T17:59:00Z
Raising Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-Children/-450107139488055416.html
2015-06-05T17:59:00Z
2015-06-05T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />It is because I listened to you, I became a stay-at-home mom. I have never regretted a single moment of knowing I raised my child. <br /><br />We only had one child. He was a very well-rounded, considerate, and thoughtful boy from a very young age. As he grew into a robust, healthy and helpful young man, we could not have been more proud. He became the kid his peers looked up to and inspired to be. We were told this many times at different functions by his friends' parents. My husband and I were involved with school field trips, endless hours of homework, and different sporting activities. Those memories mean the world to us. <br /><br />The reason I am writing this is, my son was killed in a no-fault car accident at 19. I cherish being the kind of parent I wish I had had. Sometimes things happen we cannot control. I hope our story can help other parents to be more present and never take their children for granted. I hope it makes some parents or future parents decide to "do the right thing". <br /><br />Sincerely, an ever grateful mom, <br /><br />Patricia<br />
Staff
2015-06-05T17:59:00Z
Devoted Wife: Hear Me Roar
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Devoted-Wife:-Hear-Me-Roar/-735271040179030814.html
2015-06-04T17:59:00Z
2015-06-04T17:59:00Z
<br />My mother left my father when I was 2. My dad did the best he could raising two boys and me. He devoted his life to us and never tried to disrupt our lives by bringing another woman into the household. Meanwhile, my mom has gone through three relationships. With each one, she allowed herself to be treated like trash and when these men left HER, she would lose herself and her dignity and beg them back to her. It was really unbecoming. <br /><br />I am now 30 and have managed to have an identity of independence. I have morals and values, but I have never found myself afraid and helpless when I am alone. I have never walked around with an "I don't need a man" attitude, but truly I didn't NEED one to survive. I met and married a wonderful man. When we were dating, my dad became afraid I would become dependent on my boyfriend, but let go when he saw what kind of woman he raised me to be. <br /><br />Recently, my mother-in-law, who is painfully feminist, tried to tell me she felt the MAIN reason my husband was drawn to me is because I am such a "caretaker" and I do everything for him: dishes, laundry, clean house, and tell him how much he is adored. She even said, "You basically act like his mother, only worse, and you need to stop." <br /><br />I am proud to be a doting wife and have been struggling to digest my own mother-in-law can't even express appreciation for the way I love her son. To her, my actions are weak and breed selfishness. Not only are my actions as a devoted and loving wife insulted and mocked, but my husband's acceptance of such love is considered "selfish" by many women we both know. From you, I've learned not only are positive remarks about my marriage good, but even negative ones are compliments too. I am proud my identity is too loving and caring and my husband is seen as "selfish" for taking care of us and working. <br /><br />I am a devoted wife, HEAR ME ROAR! <br /><br />Ashleigh
Staff
2015-06-04T17:59:00Z
Sacrificing Motherhood to Avoid Sacrificing a Child
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sacrificing-Motherhood-to-Avoid-Sacrificing-a-Child/-540487664390534926.html
2015-06-03T17:59:00Z
2015-06-03T17:59:00Z
Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am married and childless. My childhood friend is shacking up. She got pregnant and after suffering severe perinatal depression and anxiety, she lost the baby. I have now learned, despite all that and an incredibly unstable relationship with the boyfriend, she is now trying to get pregnant again because she has a "right" to be a mother. <br /><br />I waited until I was married before trying to get pregnant. Thanks to you, I knew a child would have its best chance at succeeding in life if I could provide a stable, committed, two-parent environment. By the time I could give that, I was 37. I miscarried due to endometriosis and had to have a hysterectomy. Despite this, I have never regretted putting the happiness and well-being of my potential child before my own desire to be a mother. <br /><br />Through you, Dr. Laura, I learned what my feminist mother was not able to teach me - a mother's first and foremost duty is to look after the health and welfare of her child. Part of that duty is to make sure she brings her child into a stable environment emotionally, mentally and financially. If she is not going to be able to provide that, then she needs to take a closer look at why she wants to have a child. A child's "right" to that environment supercedes a woman's "<em>right</em>" to motherhood. A mother is supposed to sacrifice for her child, not sacrifice the child to meet her own needs and wants. <br /><br />I will share this with my friend, knowing she will never talk to me again, because it's the right thing to do. <br /><br />It hurts I could not have my own child and we could not afford to adopt. However, I would rather have that pain any day than know I hurt my child by putting my needs ahead of theirs. <br /><br />Thank you for all you do. <br /><br />Sarah
Staff
2015-06-03T17:59:00Z
Becoming the Man of My Household
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Becoming-the-Man-of-My-Household/457360624218053002.html
2015-06-02T17:59:00Z
2015-06-02T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Early in my career, I was hired by a Fortune 500 company, destined for sales and I loved it. When I got my first sales territory, my new bride and I were elated. The following weekend, we drove to her parents' cottage to share the news. Suffice it to say they were less than thrilled I was taking their only daughter far from home. To be blunt, my in-laws were pissed! That Saturday night my father-in-law stayed up into the early morning hours listing us the reasons WHY we should not move there. Sunday morning came and, with an awful pit in my gut, we went to breakfast where the cajoling continued. I was reaching a boiling point, and I really wanted to talk to someone.......like my dad, but since he died months earlier that obviously wasn't possible. <br /><br />When we arrived back at the cottage I had had it. As we exited their car, I realized I had to take this bull by the horns and put it down once and for all. I told my in-laws the next day I would quit my job, but only on one condition: they support me and their daughter from this point forward. The look in my father in-law's face was priceless. I was very frank when I said if I do not take this promotion my career with the company was over; immediately. <br /><br />I grew up as a jock; played football, and boxed in college, and I know, when I get pushed too far, I will stand my ground. I am so thankful I did what I did that day, as it helped shape me more than I ever thought it could. My wife and I moved away. My in-laws visited many times and absolutely loved where we lived. <br /><br />Scot</p>
Staff
2015-06-02T17:59:00Z
I Was Dumb
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Was-Dumb/-399849973152846831.html
2015-06-01T17:59:00Z
2015-06-01T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My mother was a stay-at-home mom. It was a decision she and my father made when I was 3 years old. She made sacrifices to raise me. Growing up in the 90's, while in school, I was practically ashamed of the fact we were a one-income household. All the other kids' moms worked. How dumb was I. I was fortunate to have a loving mother at home, waiting for me once I got off the school bus. The other kids were shipped off to day care or to a nanny's house. <br /><br />My mom died when I was 19. I never got the chance to show her how much I appreciated what she did for me. I aim to show my gratitude by one day returning the favor should I be blessed enough to have children. <br /><br />Thanks for doing what you do. <br /><br />Kristine</p>
Staff
2015-06-01T17:59:00Z
Mommy's Favorite Thing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mommys-Favorite-Thing/-231220905644725116.html
2015-05-29T17:59:00Z
2015-05-29T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My husband took our 3-year-old daughter to her regularly-scheduled gymnastics class. In honor of the mothers of the team, the coach asked each child what their mommy's favorite thing was. "Sophie" said chocolate, "Ben" said flowers, "Grace" said sleep. When it was my daughter's turn, she turned around and took one look at my husband and shouted 'DADDY!' <br /><br />I wasn't there to see this precious moment, but my husband beamed from ear to ear as he recounted the story when he got home. He also mentioned he got a couple high-fives from other dads in the class. <br /><br />I'm a longtime listener and expounder of your virtues, and because of that, I'm a very happy woman. We also have an 8-week-old son. Our life is far from glamorous, restful, or calm these days, but even with the beautiful chaos, we are very much in love and lust, just ask my daughter who innocently and honestly recounted what is true. <br /><br />Yours truly, <br /><br />Molly</p>
Staff
2015-05-29T17:59:00Z
I Felt Like I Wasn't a Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Felt-Like-I-Wasnt-a-Mom/629137766702625862.html
2015-05-28T17:59:00Z
2015-05-28T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hello Dr. Laura. <br /><br />I have been listening to you for about 3 years and in that time you have helped me make some great decisions. I have been married to a wonderful man for almost 4 years and we have two sons, 2 years old and 5 months old. I used to work over 40 hours a week on a head injury unit as a speech pathologist. I continued to do so after having my first son. I would drop him off at my parents' house at 7 am and pick him up at 4 pm. It was horrible, I felt like I wasn't a mom. <br /><br />When we became pregnant for the second time I knew I just did not want to continue doing what I was doing, but I was nervous to talk to my husband because I didn't know if we could financially swing it. Well, I only had to say it once that I wanted to leave my job and be a mom to our boys. He replied, "Don't worry, I will figure it out". <br /><br />It's been 7 months since I became a stay-at-home mom. I have meals ready for my husband when he gets home every day and tell him every night before bed how much I appreciate him as he has made it possible for me to do the most amazing thing in the world. Dr. Laura it is because of you my life is amazing. Your words of advice each day, have helped me become my kids' mom and my husband's girlfriend. <br /><br />Thank you. <br /><br />Tiffany</p>
Staff
2015-05-28T17:59:00Z
My Husband Gets Mother's Day
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husband-Gets-Mothers-Day/910858794685112096.html
2015-05-27T17:59:00Z
2015-05-27T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura. <br /><br />I have a connective tissue disorder Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Type 3 which basically means I'm in severe pain most of the time, my joints can dislocate or sublux from simple movement, and when I get infections they come on fast and furious. <br /><br />Dr. Laura I chose WELL! My husband Paul is not only the love of my life, my best friend, a kind man, a funny man, but he is also the best father I could have ever asked for our two girls. "In sickness and in health" is a very powerful vow to take and like our other vows, he takes it seriously. I can't explain how lucky I am to have a man who has worked 2 jobs to support us while taking care of our daughters when I couldn't, who waits out in the cold for the school bus because he knows the cold air affects my joints, who brings me my medications in the morning because he knows how painful mornings are before medication, who takes our girls to the doctor when sick, who cleans the house the best he can because I physically can't. This wonderful man tells me I sell myself short when I thank him for doing things and how much I appreciate him and how I wish I could do more. There are days I have cried in pain and he just says "Don't worry, Hon, I'll take care of the girls so you can try and rest". There are days I cannot go swimming or to the park with my family but our girls still go because they have "Dad"! <br /><br />Don't get me wrong I'm still Mom and I do everything I possibly can for my girls and for my husband! It may not be fancy but he comes home to hot food after a 12 hour shift, I offer the big TV so he can watch a particular program he likes after the girls are asleep, I never turn down sex because well first because I'm not stupid, but second he doesn't ask for anything material. With my being on disability we cannot afford the help we need for cleaning or for the personal care I need, so we do our best to make it through each day together. There are many days he needs to be Mom and Dad and that why I donated Mother's Day to him this year. He deserves 2 days instead of 1! He doesn't complain, he doesn't mope, he just loves us with every inch of himself. <br /><br />Women, think long and hard before choosing because it takes a special kind of man to take care of a family! <br /><br />Laurie</p>
Staff
2015-05-27T17:59:00Z
Getting Through the Loss of My Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Getting-Through-the-Loss-of-My-Mother/-343289376175089075.html
2015-05-26T17:59:00Z
2015-05-26T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I spoke with you just over a year ago to get advice on how to cope with the loss of my mother who had just passed away from cancer. My father needed help too as she was the love of his life. They were married 60 years and he called her "My World". You gave me the analogy of comparing the pain and grief to a large wave in the ocean, approaching and overcoming me, but allowing it to finally subside. You also explained for each day of suffering in grief is another day of reassurance of how wonderful of a person she was. <br /><br />I kept those thoughts in mind throughout the first year which was extremely tough especially around the holidays, on her birthday and the 1 year anniversary of her passing. Believe it or not, the grief wave has started to subside, slowly. Now don't get me wrong, I think about her every day and still miss her terribly, but it's not as painful. My father is healing as well. He visits her almost daily and brings her flowers weekly. He told me, "It's something I want to do". <br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, for putting things in perspective for me during that horrific time. You have no idea how much I appreciate your words of wisdom and caring. <br /><br />John</p>
Staff
2015-05-26T17:59:00Z
How Parents Fail Their Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Parents-Fail-Their-Kids/572620347524643723.html
2015-05-21T17:59:00Z
2015-05-21T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />I work in public schools and it never seems to amaze me. The schools I am in range in grades Head Start to 8th. It's a wide range, but yet I see parents fail to lead their kids over and over. They want to be the child's friend. There are no limits and their children have everything. There is no 'no' in the vocabulary and respect is often disregarded. Kids get up and walk out of classes, back talk to adults and are disrespectful to any authority. They make no demands of their children, and often rise up against the administration with the children watching. <br /><br />I feel real discouraged for our future. My own kids never spoke to another adult the way I see kids today. They are often amazed when they see kids behave the way they do. My kids know what a swat on the tush was. When I tell friends this they look at me in amazement. All I say is "It solved the problem." My kids are well adjust and successful in their own way. They work hard and I am so proud of them. They still come home to visit which I figure is their way of saying their father and I didn't do too bad raising them. <br /><br />Lisa</p>
Staff
2015-05-21T17:59:00Z
Suits With Strollers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Suits-With-Strollers/191276426020157041.html
2015-05-20T17:59:00Z
2015-05-20T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have always been a stay at home military mom/wife 30 years and did whatever I could do to make a few dollars, or stretch the family budget, but always be able to be home with my children. I am happy to say that one of my "talents" is now an actual business and I make homemade jellies and jams for wedding favors, and I sell at farmers markets and even online. <br /><br />My daughter's kindergarten teacher recently had a baby and she made the decision to stay home. A struggle yes, but she as well as started her own online business of making personalize banners for weddings, birthdays and so on, to also make a few dollars and be home with the baby. She has come to me often, with the struggle of not going back to work. <br /><br />I have always told her, her work right now is the baby she brought into this world. She realized her importance when this happened: she had packed up the baby to go to the local park. When entering the park she saw a group of "suits" with strollers - moms who just got out of work, and picked up their babies from day care. There were two nannies there singing "the wheels on the bus" to the children they were in charge of. One of the business mom's 10-month-old little boy was clapping and doing the hand motions to the song. The mother of said child looked down at her little boy and said, "Oh, you know this song?" I couldn't believe she didn't know what her son knew. When the nannies stopped singing, the little boy started to cry, and the mom asked the nannies to sing it again since she did not know the words. <br /><br />Thank you Dr Laura for all that you do. You have made me cry, chuckle and laugh out loud. I look forward to your show. And listen every day. <br /><br />Pat</p>
Staff
2015-05-20T17:59:00Z
The Gift of Friendship
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Gift-of-Friendship/999757741753945141.html
2015-05-19T17:59:00Z
2015-05-19T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I want to thank you so much for the insight you provide all of us listeners. My wife first introduced your show to me a couple years ago and we often find ourselves tackling issues by asking "What would Dr. Laura say?" <br /><br />I am an active duty military member, and my wife has an unmatched strength only military wives possess. Eight years of marriage and military life has brought a unique set of struggles we have had to overcome, and I couldn't have picked a better partner for the journey. <br /><br />I am writing you because recently, my wife's best friend passed away. My wife is the kindest person I have ever met, which usually leads to the friends she does make taking advantage of her until the friendship breaks down entirely. This friend was different though. Her husband and I worked together and we had been talking about getting our families together for months until he admitted to me that his wife had a hard time getting along with most women. I told him I was actually being apprehensive as well because my wife had a tendency to have a hard time making friends. We agreed to get together for a trial run with no expectations of a lasting friendship. They immediately hit it off, and became best friends pretty much over night. <br /><br />A year passed and we spent most weekends together. We even took a family vacation together. All was well until last summer. I don't want to bore you with the details, but there was a falling out. We often referred to the event as the "breakup." My wife and I talked a lot about if there was any way to make it work again and stubbornly came to the conclusion that it was obviously over for a good reason. <br /><br />Two weeks ago, there was a turn. My wife got an email from her old friend. It was an apology. She deeply regretted being so stubborn and wanted desperately to make amends. We planned to meet them for dinner on Sunday, but the Friday night before she was hit by a car. We received the call and rushed to help. My wife spent two days with her friend in the hospital, and on Sunday night, an embolism that had been slowly making its way through her body finally reached her brain. She passed away Monday morning. My wife was terribly upset, but she told me the next day, "I am so thankful she reached out me. I would have regretted not talking to her for the rest of my life. She gave me such a wonderful gift by reaching out to me when she did." I wanted to tell you this story because I learned something that I feel you would have said if my wife had called you for advice...Don't be stubborn. Don't be scared. Take the leap. Call your friend. Tell her that you love her. <br /><br />Very Respectfully, <br /><br />Jim</p>
Staff
2015-05-19T17:59:00Z
My Shiny Jewelry
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Shiny-Jewelry/877407233501982593.html
2015-05-18T17:59:00Z
2015-05-18T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />My husband and I recently celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary. We met in our 50's. Our children were grown and gone and we both felt blessed to have this second chance at happiness. <br /><br />Recently we were walking around the yard after dinner and I looked at my husband and asked, "Why do you think our marriage is so successful?" My husband, who is always a quick wit and very humorous said. "For me, I knew you would be the one when on that cold winter night, you slid across the seat of my old pickup truck to open the locked door before I could get the key in the lock." With a big smile, he said he learned about the "keeper test" from the movie the Bronx Tale. He said he tried it out on two other women who he thought might be a possibility, but I was the only one who made the effort that day and continue to make the extra effort every day. <br /><br />That extra effort is based on two concepts you suggested. The first is that love is a verb. I could not believe how small actions like a simple shoulder rub or bringing him a cold glass of water on a hot day would make such a difference. The second action I follow is before I walk in the door after a bad day I always say, "Would I want to come home to me?" The result of this attitude is a husband who continues to spoil me with little extras such as cooking me a special meal just because, cleaning the house, and he even cleans windows! We always make sure we share a cup a coffee in the morning and talk about our challenges of the day. No matter what the day brings, it is an incredible feeling to have such a partnership. <br /><br />So Dr. Laura, I want to say to the women who think the birthday or Valentine's Day flowers or jewelry is what makes a marriage, how mistaken they are. I have that shiny jewelry too but mine is called looking at a beautiful sunrise through those squeaky clean kitchen windows! <br /><br />Diane </p>
Staff
2015-05-18T17:59:00Z
Doggy Day Care
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Doggy-Day-Care/776447093070860039.html
2015-05-15T17:59:00Z
2015-05-15T17:59:00Z
<p> <br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My husband and I are expecting our first child this June. We decided it would be nice to spend a romantic night away, just the two of us, before our baby arrived. We have a 6-month-old puppy and were referred by our friends to send him to an "elite" doggy day care facility for the weekend. They insisted it would be great for him because he would be able to socialize with other dogs, get a chance to run around outside, and receive the best care from "professionals". <br /><br />When we picked our puppy up the next day he wasn't the same pup we dropped off. His normally peppy puppy personality was gone: he barely ate, his fur was matted with urine, and it took him two full days to get back to his old self. <br /><br />My dog will never go to doggy day care again. If we need to leave town and cannot bring him along he will be in the trusted care of his grandma and grandpa. I can't bear the thought of leaving my dog in day care, yet parents of HUMAN children do everything they can to justify ignoring, neglecting and trusting their children with complete strangers. My husband and I agreed long before we were married that I would stay home with our children. Because of you, Dr. Laura, our soon-to-be born son and his future siblings will never have to endure what my poor puppy had to go through. <br /><br />Katherine<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-05-15T17:59:00Z
Do Bosses Cry Themselves to Sleep?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Do-Bosses-Cry-Themselves-to-Sleep/-329073620805868557.html
2015-05-14T17:59:00Z
2015-05-14T17:59:00Z
<p> <br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />There are times I wish for a group like AA for which I could stand up and say, "Hi. My name is Ego and it's been 8 years since I attended my last business meeting." I was a business world addict. In my career, I achieved enormous success. I advised and presented information in the board room to famous household names. They deemed me brilliant and worthy. During my tenure, all the stars were in alignment for me and everything I touched turned to gold. I basked in that glory. On the day that I left my career, I wondered how they would get by without me. <br /><br />I chose to be a stay-at-home mom to my only child. While I loved my new role, I missed my old status. There were no more accolades; no more enormous paychecks; no more benchmarks of success. <br /><br />Last week, I was invited to attend my daughter's second grade presentation. She worked hard on it. I know because I sat beside her each time she worked on it. We strode into the classroom, five people strong: me, my husband, my mother and my two brothers to admire and bear witness to my daughter's efforts. There was a buzz in the room. Many mothers, fathers, and grandparents floated around from project to project engaging each child with our smiles and questions. We mingled with one another and praised each other's children. We laughed joyously and enjoyed this special hour. Suddenly something caught my eye. <br /><br />A classmate of my daughters was huddled in the corner holding herself in the fetal position. "What's wrong?", I said as I hovered above her. She did not answer. "What's wrong?", I said as I sat next to her. She did not answer. "What's wrong?", I said as I wrapped my arms around her. "I wish my parents were here," she whispered in the tiniest voice. As I cuddled and comforted her, the rage inside me grew as I wondered why those selfish parents could not take an hour out of their day to be there with their daughter. And in that moment I realized that no one in the business world mourned my leaving. I am quite sure there was never a vice president curled up in his corner office lamenting my departure. The organization moved forward without me. In fact, they thrived without me. The only one who was not thriving was the little girl in my arms. She was crying over what she didn't have, and likely never would. I will never again feel sadness over the missed praises from a working world that I meant little to. My worth is at home, creating a loving life for my daughter and my husband. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Truly Reformed Dina</p>
Staff
2015-05-14T17:59:00Z
The Real Meaning of 'Pro-Choice'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Real-Meaning-of-Pro-Choice/530413269171792676.html
2015-05-13T17:59:00Z
2015-05-13T17:59:00Z
<p> <br />A few months ago, my nephew found out his unborn baby girl was afflicted with Trisomy 18. Her death was a certainty, but there was no way to know when that would occur. He and his wife courageously chose life for her, they chose to nurture and feed her in her mother's womb for as long as her fragile existence could be sustained. She was born at about 8 months and lived a very peaceful few hours so she could experience her family's touch and love even for such a brief life. Her parents could have taken her life in the womb so they wouldn't have to go through the pain of it all, but they chose life for her. As a result, the family has experienced the very deep spiritual peace of holding her and feeling her warmth. An abortion would have robbed all of them, the little girl most of all, of this peace. <br /><br />If only all who are given "choice" would chose such a path! <br /><br />Katherine<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-05-13T17:59:00Z
A Happy Stay-at-Home Momma
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Happy-Stay-at-Home-Momma/-937396672135031636.html
2015-05-12T17:59:00Z
2015-05-12T17:59:00Z
<p> <br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />After recently reading a blog about dropping their baby off at day care, I was, once again, shaking my head at this generation of disillusioned females I find myself amongst. The author wrote, "I want you to know that I am a better mommy because I work. I am not stay-at-home mom material." My immediate thought was, if you know you're not "stay-at-home mom material" then why on earth would you ever consider having children!? I just can't fathom bringing a sweet, precious life into this world with the intentions of immediately institutionalizing the little sweet pea shortly after birth! Am I just part of a dying breed of women that still sees the value and pure fulfillment of staying home with my children to nurture them, love them, and ensure they develop into responsible adults that can contribute positively to society someday!? I would never ever trust an institution to do that for me. <br /><br />Dr. Laura, I truly do applaud you for your continued support and encouragement of stay-at-home parenting. Please keep fighting the good fight! I don't know how you don't scream at these brain-washed women who happily drop their kids off at day care. I hope for opportunities to encourage others that I come across in my life to raise their kids themselves. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />A happy stay-at-home momma, <br /><br />Leslie <br /><br />P.S. Below is a photo of my son who I LOVE to stay home with! He just celebrated his first birthday - what an amazing year it has been!!<br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/eod_051215.jpg" alt="" /> </p>
Staff
2015-05-12T17:59:00Z
Make Raising Your Children a Priority
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Make-Raising-Your-Children-a-Priority/160625762747200378.html
2015-05-11T17:59:00Z
2015-05-11T17:59:00Z
<p> <br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Thank you so much for drawing a hard line on the importance of staying home and raising your children. When my husband and I were dating we talked openly and often about my desire to someday be a stay-at-home mom and how I didn't believe in nannies or day cares to raise our children and he agreed. We spent our early years of marriage saving money and planning financially for the time when we would start our family so we knew we would be able to live on one income. <br /><br />Four years ago, when my son was born, I left my career as an engineer to become a full-time stay-at-home mom. I took a lot of flak from family and friends who thought I was crazy and "throwing away" my Master's degree and career. They couldn't understand why we would choose to live on just my husband's small income or how I could leave behind my career without a second glance. I disregarded all of them. I knew that the best thing for my son (two years later, my daughter) was for me to be home with them each and every day teaching them the morals and ideals that are important to us as a family and just simply being here. <br /><br />Recently, I was contacted by an old college friend and colleague of mine about doing some consulting work. I was able to pick up some very flexible and part-time engineering work that I do during nap time and at night after the kids are in bed. This does not affect my kids or husband. They will continue to be my top priority. I know too many woman who think they have no choice but to send their kids to day care but it CAN be done with careful planning and budgeting. <br /><br />Thank you for all that you do for stay at home moms. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Sarah</p>
Staff
2015-05-11T17:59:00Z
The Little Games We Play
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Little-Games-We-Play/-289016638297635773.html
2015-05-08T17:59:00Z
2015-05-08T17:59:00Z
<p> <br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />You're always talking about the little things we can do in our marriages to keep the spunk alive. My husband and I play silly little games. <br /><br />In church, we race to see who can turn to a hymn the fastest or if our pastor asks us to go to a specific passage in the bible whoever gets there first wins. I'm sure we get weird looks, but when you're trying to win bragging rights, it's absolutely necessary to act like your bible will go up in flames any second if you don't get to those verses quickly enough. <br /><br />Also, my husband gives me this look... I will just turn to him randomly and suddenly THE LOOK is in his eyes and I know what he wants... He wants to engage me in an epic staring contest. Or if we're holding hands, maybe at the store or the movie theatre and his thumb starts getting a little rough then I know we're starting a thumb war and the battle is ON! Or if we both want take out, but neither wants to pick it up, let the rock-paper-scissors showdown begin! <br /><br />What the winner gets, besides bragging rights, is ultimately the sweet feeling of comradery and affection with their spouse. I guess then we're both ultimately the winners. <br /><br />Thanks Dr. Laura! <br /><br />Katherine</p>
Staff
2015-05-08T17:59:00Z
My Mother-in-Law Has Taught Me Much
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Mother-in-Law-Has-Taught-Me-Much/-237954328858843680.html
2015-05-07T17:59:00Z
2015-05-07T17:59:00Z
<p> <br />I want to brag about my mother-in-law of 25 years and is delightful. Because of what I have learned from her and how I feel around her, I know I will be a fabulous mother-in-law. She adores her son and tells me how happy she is that we married each other. One of her best traits is that she is honest with us and tells us how she feels or what she wants, but always sweetly. If my husband feels it is over-stepping, then she nicely says, "Okay" She isn't pouty and doesn't undermine our parenting or our relationship. She is really on our side. <br /><br />If we can't take her on a trip she is good, which makes us want to include her. When we do she is such fun to be around. Our children are young adults now, but she makes an effort to stay in touch with them on their terms. She sends a text reading, "Morning: or "Good luck at your game today." She doesn't mope if the kids don't text back. My mother-in-law also has an easy disposition and can take a good ribbing. We love to laugh about her cute little gestures and often we mimic her and she gets a big kick out of it. <br /><br />I have learned to not take life so seriously because of her. When she comes to visit, she insists that I come and take a break with her. Honestly she is a wise woman. I think more mother-in-laws would get what they wanted if they followed her approach of sharing her desires instead of demanding her way. She is a lovely, classy, fun lady who I adore and will always be welcome in our home. <br /><br />Stephanie</p>
Staff
2015-05-07T17:59:00Z
Headed in the Right Direction Again
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Headed-in-the-Right-Direction-Again/275569608298531540.html
2015-05-06T17:59:00Z
2015-05-06T17:59:00Z
<p> <br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been a hot mess! I had gotten to the point where I only had sex with my husband TWICE in the last year. This is going on 7 years of marriage and we're both in our early 40s. No children for either of us. <br /><br />Recently, I discovered a secret email account my husband had which included profiles on dating sites. The profiles had no identifying info and no pictures of him. The secret email contained lots of pictures of various women in bathing suits mostly. I could find no evidence of any messages with any of the women and realized it was just visual stimulation for him. I immediately changed the password to all the dating sites and his email account. I then let him know he wouldn't be getting back in those accounts. I didn't nag him or start an argument. I only told him I didn't want to ever feel like I'd had been gut-punched again. <br /><br />I was sick to my stomach for days and did some thinking about what I wanted from our marriage. Something told me to purchase "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060520620/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0060520620&linkCode=as2&tag=wwwdrlauracom-20&linkId=5AWR3PAVKGV2KTFV" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a>." What an eye opener! In your book, I saw my own thinking, justifying, and rationalizing all the reasons I was withholding sex and then debunked and explained. The chapter on sex specifically spoke to me, realizing that is what my husband needs to be close to me. <br /><br />I went to the store and bought a card for him - just as I used to do. I wrote in it, explaining I was going to start being his girlfriend again, not just his "stuck-in-a-rut wife". I then made him one of his favorite dinners. We have been kissing hello and goodnight since then - something we hadn't done in months. The sex is back and we're definitely headed in the right direction again. I can't thank you enough! <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Carrie</p>
Staff
2015-05-06T17:59:00Z
Along the Roads of Life...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Along-the-Roads-of-Life.../120128533110251706.html
2015-05-05T17:59:00Z
2015-05-05T17:59:00Z
<p> <br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Many times as a parent, I feel like I have failed; like I am lost on a very long road. They have become so independent and need me much less. Sometimes, it's hard to guess what exactly is going on inside their minds. I make attempts to talk to them and engage them in conversation, however, the mind of a teenager seems to have different priorities. <br /><br />Every once in a while, however, I have been blessed to see the fruits of my labors, and know I have been traveling down the right road all along. Just today I was driving with my 15-year-old son in the car. He still seems like a little boy to me, but he towers above me at 6' 1". I was telling him how proud I was of him and the choices he continues to make in his life. He was quiet for a little while and then said to me, "I made a really good choice the other day, Mom." He went on to tell me at school he was approached by a girl he had only seen before and did not know by name. She said, "Hey, do you want to go do drugs after school?" He told her, "No, I don't do that stuff." After that, he didn't just walk away, he went to the principal's office and explained what had just happened. My heart swelled up with joy, and I knew not only was my son making good choices, but I am not a failure as a mom. <br /><br />I'm so grateful for the opportunity I've had to be a mom and for the things my kids teach me daily. Being a mom is one of the toughest jobs I've ever had; however, it has been the one that's given me the most fulfillment in my life. <br /><br />Thank you for your service you do on the air! It makes changes in people's lives. I am one of the starfish you have picked up and thrown back into the sea several times. <br /><br />Life is often like driving down a long road. Sometimes, we drive for miles and miles without seeing any signs that let us know we're heading in the right direction. But then, all of the sudden, we see the sign that confirms we are right where we need to be. To all of the mothers out there who wonder where exactly they are on that long road? Keep going forward. Eventually, you will come to the sign that says, "You're heading in the right direction". Seeing it, and knowing you're heading in the right direction, will be your reward! <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Rebecca</p>
Staff
2015-05-05T17:59:00Z
Dad Teaches Brotherly Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dad-Teaches-Brotherly-Love/-527491419889058311.html
2015-05-04T17:59:00Z
2015-05-04T17:59:00Z
<p> <br />Our 10- and 7-year-old boys were playing on the neighbor's trampoline with their 10-year-old boy and 7-year-old girl. The older boys were "pantsing" each other. This is where you sneak up on someone and pull their pants down to embarrass them and get a laugh. (I remember this from my school days, but had no idea it was still going on.) When my oldest did it to my youngest, his underwear also came down by accident completely mortifying him. <br /><br />After we had the "that's an inappropriate game and it will not be tolerated" talk, Dad said to our oldest," I think your little brother should get to choose your punishment because you embarrassed him so badly". Little brother said, "I think you should have to go to school tomorrow with no underwear on so if someone "pants'" you, you'll know how I felt." Dad agreed right away, but as a mom, I wanted to say something. I bit my tongue very hard because of you, Dr. Laura. <br /><br />That night, as I went to tuck them in, my oldest was crying quite loudly worried about what may happen at school the next day. So was his little brother and through heavy blubbering, he said, "Mama, I feel so bad for brother. He doesn't have to do that punishment; I changed my mind. I don't want that to happen to him." My oldest, crying even heavier said, "Really?? I'm so sorry I did that to you. I'll never do it again, I promise. I love you." They hugged and it was a moment I'll NEVER forget. My oldest said something changed in their relationship that night and he will never forget what his little brother did for him. <br /><br />I said a silent thank you to you, Dr. Laura. Without you, my nosey, impatient and controlling ways would have stopped that entire turning point from ever happening. <br /><br />Regan</p>
Staff
2015-05-04T17:59:00Z
Arrogance and Pride
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Arrogance-and-Pride/-805811312328211730.html
2015-05-01T17:59:00Z
2015-05-01T17:59:00Z
<p> <br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I heard a woman caller complaining about her husband's actions toward her. I was thinking that was exactly my situation with my husband who doesn't feel or respond to my artistic passion. But when you called her actions arrogant, it felt like a rug was pulled out from under me. I'm an artist and he's an engineer and yet I beat him up to respond the way I want him to towards my art. That call made me realize that, even though my husband of 26 years and I have had differences of opinions in our relationship, I have let my arrogance and pride of thinking I'm right stop me from being my husband's girlfriend. <br /><br />I then apologized to my husband for being angry for not acting the way I thought he should or saying the things I wanted to hear from him. He gave me a hug and handed me a card. The card was filled with all of the loving and beautiful words that I have been craving from him for many years. <br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura for changing my heart and my mind to see how to be and experience being my husband's girlfriend. <br /><br />Michelle</p>
Staff
2015-05-01T17:59:00Z
I Respect My Husband Again
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Respect-My-Husband-Again/-556222880033903881.html
2015-04-30T17:59:00Z
2015-04-30T17:59:00Z
<p> <br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Roughly one year ago, I started listening to you. At that time, I had a 6-month-old, and was heading back to work; however as a real estate appraiser, I worked from home. My husband worked from home two days a week. I worked during nap times and at night, but I struggled to respect my husband. <br /><br />I read both of your books, "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060520620/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0060520620&linkCode=as2&tag=wwwdrlauracom-20&linkId=5AWR3PAVKGV2KTFV" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a>" and "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Proper-Care-Feeding-Marriage/dp/0061142824/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_y" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage</a>" and truly could not find it in my heart to completely respect him as a man/father/husband because I wasn't able to be a stay-at-home mom. I finally challenged him to get a better job. I told him I was not going to return to work once baby number two arrives June 2015. I am very proud to say that by January my husband found a better paying job and I am officially a full-time stay-at-home mommy. Although we lost half of our income, it is so very possible to budget and live a happy life. AND because I was less stressed and was able to take care of him more, he was able to be happier and more productive at work...AND he just received a 50% raise making it possible to save for our first home and growing family!!! I now RESPECT my husband completely. I love you for who you are and what you do. Thank you for simply being you. <br /><br />Respectfully and gratefully, <br /><br />Anna</p>
Staff
2015-04-30T17:59:00Z
Having the Backbone to Keep Her Values
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Having-the-Backbone-to-Keep-Her-Values/515892520512247714.html
2015-04-29T17:59:00Z
2015-04-29T17:59:00Z
<p> <br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Fortunately for me, I began listening to you 20+ years ago. Your perspective on stay-at-home mothers was one I'd never heard espoused before - much less vigorously defended. While I already knew that was the path I wanted to take when I had children, you gave me both the confidence and justification for not accepting less. <br /><br />When my now-husband and I became more seriously dating, he asked me to move in with him. Had I not had your influence, I probably would have happily agreed. Instead, I told him I would never live with a man I wasn't married to and was actually disappointed he'd even asked. He was completely shocked. <br /><br />A few months later, he brought up the idea of marriage and rather than being a swooning, carried away young woman, I laid out the practicalities. First, I wanted to be a mother, so if he wasn't interested in having children we should part ways at that point. "No, no! I want children too!" he said. Then I told him I would not have kids for someone else to raise so I wanted to be a stay-at-home mother. He was truly stunned. This was in 2001 and as an executive at a Fortune 100 company, he was surrounded by working mothers and literally didn't know any woman who left their career to raise their children. He was clearly uncomfortable with the idea and was mainly concerned with the loss of a second income. I explained I wasn't a materialistic person and I was happy to scale down our lifestyle and make sacrifices in order to be home with my children. I was very clear this was a deal-breaker. He agreed, although I knew he was only doing so because he loved me and wanted to marry me. <br /><br />Two years after we married, our first daughter was born. And immediately, all of his reservations disappeared. He was instantly in love and so protective, he didn't even want to leave her with my mother for two hours for us to get a break. Our daughters are now 8 and 11 and he is horrified by working mothers and feels terrible for all the kids we see shuffled off to after-school care. While it's not always been easy, he is so glad I insisted on staying at home. And I always credit you for giving me the backbone to risk losing him in order to do the right thing for my future children. Sadly, my kids are in the vast minority among their peers who have a mom who "doesn't have a job". But they are truly grateful I am there to pick them up from school every day and feel genuinely sorry for their friends who spend four or five extra hours a day without their family. They now listen to you every day on SiriusXM and I am thrilled to be passing your torch to them. So on behalf of my kids... <br /><br />THANK YOU! <br /><br />Deborah</p>
Staff
2015-04-29T17:59:00Z
Fell In Love With Exercise
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fell-In-Love-With-Exercise/-439322594832684498.html
2015-04-28T17:59:00Z
2015-04-28T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />When I began to listen to you 2 years ago, I was in kidney failure, on dialysis and had no energy. You would talk about exercising and have some callers even do push-ups. I would be so jealous you could go for a hike or a caller could do a push-up. <br /><br />One day, a caller was feeling sorry for herself about being overweight. You told her to turn on music and dance around the house, go for a walk, anything just move, then call back in a week with an update. I sat there thinking I would give anything to be able to go on a walk or dance around the house and feel good at the end. I vowed if I had a kidney transplant I would do all of these things. On December 1, 2014, I got my new kidney. I was counting down the six weeks until I could begin to exercise. I could not wait. Unfortunately, I had a complication so that six turned into ten weeks, but I kept saying as soon as I can, I am going to exercise. I am going to make Dr. Laura proud I am not feeling sorry for myself. I am going to enjoy my health. <br /><br />The first Monday I could, I got up at 4:30 in the morning and started to workout. It felt so good, I decided I could go to the gym after work. I have now been doing this for over two months. I feel good and everyday see improvements. I have even inspired all of my friends to get moving. <br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura for encouraging exercise and for not letting callers get by with poor me "I am fat" or do not have time to exercise. You inspired me and because of you, I fell in love with exercise. <br /><br />Thank you, <br /><br />Christy </p>
Staff
2015-04-28T17:59:00Z
Freshening Our Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Freshening-Our-Marriage/213673450658192588.html
2015-04-27T17:59:00Z
2015-04-27T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr Laura, <br /><br />I am a stay-at-home mom of 6 and my hubby's girlfriend. We are very blessed our marriage has lasted 36 years, being we were some of the "idiots" that were married at age 19 and 20! If any of our kids even thought of doing that, we'd lock them up and throw away the key for at least 5 years! <br /><br />My husband is a manly man. He worked full time and part time to take care of our family. When our children were small, he always commented, "When they are all in school, you can get a job!" I wasn't a fan, as I know the before and after school hours are crucial to having a parent home. Once the children were all in school, I said, "Maybe I should get a job?" He said I needed to be home! What changed his attitude?? Listening to years and years of YOU! <br /><br />Now all of our kidlets are grown. They are from 25 to 35 years old. They have turned out to be good people. Many people have complimented to us about them that they are such caring people! Thank you for your guidance! <br /><br />Also, I just bought your book <em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060520620/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0060520620&linkCode=as2&tag=wwwdrlauracom-20&linkId=5AWR3PAVKGV2KTFV" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>. I had always thought...what could I possibly learn now, at 56 after 36 years of marriage? Well let me say this, I learned things in the introduction! I am only in chapter one and already am happier in my relationship! I just don't want things to get stale with just the 2 of us being home. I was being a bit mopey and thought I needed some type of wakeup call and your book is doing just that! I am so thankful for a wonderful, loving husband! <br /><br />I just wanted to thank you for helping him understand the importance of a mom staying home with the kids. Also to thank you for freshening up our marriage! He knows I am reading your book, but I don't share it with him! I am being selfishly sneaky and making him happy!! I love you for all that you do for so many! Thank you again! <br /><br />Laree</p>
Staff
2015-04-27T17:59:00Z
What's Sex?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Whats-Sex/-698445699317735450.html
2015-04-24T17:59:00Z
2015-04-24T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I grew up listening to your show with my mother. So when I got engaged 7 years ago, I bought a copy of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060520620/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0060520620&linkCode=as2&tag=wwwdrlauracom-20&linkId=5AWR3PAVKGV2KTFV" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a> for myself...naturally! I try to read it annually leading up to our anniversary, but in the last three years that tradition slacked a bit: baby boy in 2011, baby girl in 2014. It's been busy and neither of my kids are fond of sleeping. Still, I thought I was properly caring for and feeding my husband, until I came to the "What's Sex?" chapter. An opening quote from a listener reads, "Sex is to a husband what conversation is to a wife." I read that phrase to my husband the other day while we had a quiet kid-free moment in the kitchen. He smiled, grabbed my tush and said, "Well, let's get talkin'!" <br /><br />That was last week, and life has been more smiley since. I am happier, and my husband's kisses are deeper like when we were dating--something I've missed. Thanks for reminding us wives that sex really is THAT important! <br /><br />Suzanne</p>
Staff
2015-04-24T17:59:00Z
The Character of My Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Character-of-My-Husband/68963876852042788.html
2015-04-23T17:59:00Z
2015-04-23T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am an avid fan and have been a faithful listener since 1996 when a professor in college told me all about you, and gave me <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060976497/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0060976497&linkCode=as2&tag=wwwdrlauracom-20&linkId=P4PWXUGA3DPD4SUU" target="_blank">10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives</a>. <br /><br />I am a podcast subscriber and for the last eight years I have not missed a single program. I was unexpectedly widowed in 1996. I was 40 years old and had been the caregiver for my husband whose illness was never supposed to be life threatening. When I met my now 2nd husband, four months later, I asked him to be my friend. He was, with all the patience a girl could ask for. <br /><br />When my wedding anniversary came into to play many months later, I didn't know how to show my emotions in front of my friend. He said two things that told me the character of the man I have now been married to for 6 glorious years. He told me, "Your first husband was an incredible man. He had to be, for you to love him so deeply." He then went on to say, "It's okay, Lillian, you can love us both." I tear up as I remember that day. <br /><br />My husband is my hero, and I am his girlfriend all the day long. <br /><br />Lillian<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-04-23T17:59:00Z
A New Lease on Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-New-Lease-on-Life/736506633621005401.html
2015-04-22T17:59:00Z
2015-04-22T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I am 48 years old, with a genetic disorder that affects all of the body's connective tissue. While in grade school, I wore a body brace and eventually had surgery on my spine that left me unable to bend at the waist. My life took a dramatic turn for the better in high school, when at the age of 16, I had my first kiss from the boy destined to be my husband.<br /><br />Before our marriage, I developed mild depression and stayed on anti-depressants for years. The past 20 years have been filled with medical and psychological problems. While in the hospital, my husband never left my side. He provided me with strength during the difficult road to recovery, and he never once complained.<br /><br />Then <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060520620/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0060520620&linkCode=as2&tag=wwwdrlauracom-20&linkId=5AWR3PAVKGV2KTFV" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a> caught my eye, and after I bought it, I left it in my nightstand drawer for the next six years. Our new car had SiriusXM radio, and I started listening to your show. Your advice made so much sense to me!<br /><br />Finally, after 27 years, I said 'enough,' and decided to get off my medications. My drug-induced 'coma' was over and I began to wake up. That's when I took your book from my drawer and read it in one day. I couldn't believe how little I had to do to make my devoted husband happy! He now receives a warm welcome home, dinner ready, and the sex is like an entirely new world. Two moments that made a profound impact on my life were meeting my husband and reading your book. While I'm hopeful that the depression days are behind me, no matter what happens, you've given me a new lease on life. I'm proud to say my husband and I are a beautiful example of what marriage is all about.<br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, from the bottom of my surgically repaired heart!<br /><br />Peggie</p>
Staff
2015-04-22T17:59:00Z
Her Attention Was on the Screen Not Her Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Her-Attention-Was-on-the-Screen-Not-Her-Family/71585063724642501.html
2015-04-21T17:59:00Z
2015-04-21T17:59:00Z
<p><br />The other day you mentioned taking all electronics from children. I have a 14 year old who has been with us through foster care for a year and we are now in the process of adopting. We got her a cell phone, a computer, and a tablet. We started losing her attention very quickly. We noticed she was constantly focused on the screen, and if she wasn't, she had her headphones on. <br /><br />This came to a head when she attempted suicide about a month ago due to anxiety. It was a wakeup call. We took the phone, the Facebook account, the computer, and the tablet. I have noticed a complete turnaround. I have my sweet girl back. She isn't thrilled, but that's okay. She doesn't always notice the difference, but everyone else in the family feels like we got her back. We thought because she had such a rough start in life that she needed these things, but she was using the devices to dwell on the negative past, talk to strangers instead of her family, and shut out reality. <br /><br />Thank you, thank you, thank you! You made me feel like I made the right choice. Keep doing the good work! Keep keeping it real! <br /><br />Amanda</p>
Staff
2015-04-21T17:59:00Z
Divorced Parents and Romantic Relationships
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Divorced-Parents-and-Romantic-Relationships/54541774542734764.html
2015-04-20T17:59:00Z
2015-04-20T17:59:00Z
<p><br />I teach sewing to children. Besides weekly classes, I offer "sewing camps" on workdays when there's no school. On these camp days, I often feel like a therapist helping kids living in "blended families." It appears to me these kids get sent to a camp to get them out of the way during school holidays -- a disproportionate number of my campers are in bad step family situations. <br /><br />The agony that these kids live through breaks my heart. Some of them are terrified to make a mistake, as though only through perfection will they be accepted. Others tell me stories of abuse at the hands of older step-siblings--problems that never occur in front of the adults. I hear of lots of other issues as well. I don't start these conversations; they begin when one child happens to mention an issue, and then another tells his or her story. Kids who have to deal with uncaring step-parents, nasty step-siblings, natural parents who don't stand up to an unfair step-parent, step-grandparents who give their own grandchildren lavish gifts and ignore the step-sibling--these kids just don't have a chance. <br /><br />Thank you, thank you for encouraging parents to put their romantic lives on hold until their kids are grown. Any child you save from these horrors is a child who has a chance to grow up strong and mentally healthy. <br /><br />Hanna </p>
Staff
2015-04-20T17:59:00Z
Aided by Angels
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Aided-by-Angels/559424890657671987.html
2015-04-17T17:59:00Z
2015-04-17T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />This is a story about complete strangers being kind and helpful to me. <br /><br />I was on the freeway in the middle of a very bad part of the city where I live when I blew a tire. I got off the next exit and drove into the gas station to call a tow truck. The sun was quickly setting and I was an unarmed young female banker stranded on the front line of gang-fight central. Suddenly a small car drove up with 4 Hispanic men in it. "Lady, this is no place for you. You have to leave NOW!", they shouted. I pointed to my shredded tire. They asked, "Where is the spare? Where are the tire iron and jack?" I pointed and they immediately set to work changing my tire. When they were finished, it was almost dark. "Go now! Get out of here before it gets dark!" they urged, obviously concerned for my safety. Before I could even thank them, they jumped back into their car and drove off. As I drove away, I pondered if I had been aided by Good Samaritans...or Angels. <br /><br />Gretchen</p>
Staff
2015-04-17T17:59:00Z
What Happened to Women Valuing Themselves?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Happened-to-Women-Valuing-Themselves/344330129384050202.html
2015-04-16T17:59:00Z
2015-04-16T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Recently, you had a female caller who was living with a divorced man who has two kids. You advised, she find a man with no minor children. She announced there weren't any! <br /><br />My husband and I raised four sons: they are 34, 33, 29, 30. I homeschooled them the last half of their education. We raised them on one income. At one time, my husband had a full-time job and two part-time jobs so I could stay home with our sons. We taught our sons that dating was intended to find a wife, not to have sex. Our two oldest, served their country, dated their future wives, married and had children in that order. Their wives do not work, they stay at home and raise their family and yes, they homeschool. Our two youngest sons go to work every day, own their own homes and have cars that are paid off. They want to be married, but here is the problem...they can't find a girl who has not shacked up with some stud. <br /><br />These girls who pass themselves around to every man, and live with whoever will have them, are NOT the kind of young women a man who has worked hard and waited patiently their entire life want to marry. If my sons met your caller, they wouldn't give her a second look. Finding the right, eligible man isn't the problem: finding women who value themselves enough to wait for the right man...that's the problem. <br /><br />I close with this thought, my future daughters-in-law will be happy women... I know because my sons take after their father! <br /><br />Linda</p>
Staff
2015-04-16T17:59:00Z
What a Difference Transformation Makes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-a-Difference-Transformation-Makes/339470885034152192.html
2015-04-15T16:59:00Z
2015-04-15T16:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I used to nag, hold grudges, pout, make snarky comments, think of what was wrong with my man, wear ugly flannels to bed over ugly old lady underwear, talk past the eye gloss-over stage, roll my eyes, complain first thing in the morning, not ask him questions or partake in his hobbies, let myself gain too much weight, BUT I never withheld sex! -- About the only good thing I did. Yikes! I was an embarrassingly bad wife. <br /><br />Then he got a new svelte, smart, vivacious, marathon-runner, same age as me co-worker.... Transformation was instantaneous. Warp zone speed--no therapy needed! Fast track to save my marriage before it was too late! I worked out like an Olympian athlete, cooked his favorite gourmet meals Ward Cleaver would be envious of, wore silk teddies and thong underwear, batted my eyes, giggled, rubbed his back, and rubbed everything and anything - including his ego. Learned so much about sports - I could have started my own morning spots talk show - complete with stats. I became the woman I thought would be perfect for my man.<br /><br />Guess what... I transformed and like myself again. Yikes! I was an embarrassingly bad wife He transformed and I liked him again! And he became a stud, not for her, but for me, Dr. Laura. We both won! And it's fun. If you leave your ego at the stoop before entering the home, it is magic! <br /><br />Thank you for being a lone voice in a world which has lost manners, priorities and common sense. What you preach is truth. <br /><br />Gratefully, <br /><br />Lisa</p>
Staff
2015-04-15T16:59:00Z
Now 3 Children Are Hurt
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Now-3-Children-Are-Hurt/564014294249500655.html
2015-04-14T17:59:00Z
2015-04-14T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Before I became a step-parent, I wish I would have known my soon-to-be ex-husband would NEVER place healthy boundaries with the mother of his child. I wish I would have realized he would never see us as a team. I wish I would have known I would always be the "third" person in his life. I wish I would have known he would always consider his son as "his", not "ours". I wish I would have known that little boy would "always" have loyalties to his mother who in turn used him as a tool to manipulate and still does today. I wish I would have known my husband would never think I would love or care for his son like my own. <br /><br />I think a step-parent puts so much time and effort into wanting to make the relationship work that oftentimes they get nothing in return because that stepchild will always pick their bio-parent over the step-parent. The issues with bio-mom/stepson ultimately is what was the demise of my marriage. And I have two young children with my husband. <br /><br />Now three children are hurt. What a mess we adults created. <br /><br />Vickie</p>
Staff
2015-04-14T17:59:00Z
Proper Care and Feeding of Everybody
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Proper-Care-and-Feeding-of-Everybody/-201401524127378005.html
2015-04-13T17:59:00Z
2015-04-13T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am 36 years old. I have never been married and have no children. I just read The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands....as I joked to a friend "Just in case hell ever freezes over." This is simply because I don't date and never really have. <br /><br />I wanted to know what the book was all about since I hear you talk about it a lot. Well, lo and behold, I have found it so useful in my daily, husband-less life! I knew that women were bitches and I am a bitch from time to time, but this book has really made me stop and think I need to be sweeter to EVERYONE in my life. I need to calm down and enjoy things and not be hard to get along with. And it has helped me understand men more. I work in a business with my father and other men. It has already helped me be open to seeing them differently. To see them as men and not competition. It's only been a couple of days since I finished the book, but I already feel the difference...you say it'll be instantaneous and, well, you're right! <br /><br />I am on to The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage now. I didn't go into the first book expecting to get what I got out of it, so maybe with this one my mind and heart will be opened even more to the differences between men and women. <br /><br />Thanks a lot, I needed this, <br /><br />Joy</p>
Staff
2015-04-13T17:59:00Z
Bubble Bath
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bubble-Bath/-917228498654806497.html
2015-04-10T17:59:00Z
2015-04-10T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Last week was stressful and I found myself snapping at my husband of 23 years more than once. By Saturday night the mood was pretty tense around the house. I had a couple of glasses of wine and was trying to think of how I could repair the "bitch" damage when I remembered your idea of a couple's bubble bath. I suggested it to my husband and he immediately perked up. I ran the tub, put in the bath salts, lit the candles and then I got in. I waited... and waited... and could still hear the TV in the next room. So I got out, dripping wet, put on my robe and walked to the living room and said 'GET A CLUE'. We both started laughing. It had been so long since I've suggested something like this that he thought I was kidding. <br /><br />Needless to say after the bath, a lot of (ahem) lotion was applied as well. This time spent together changed the whole mood of the house and we're both smiling now! Thanks for the tip, Dr. Laura...perhaps you should start making bath products to go with your jewelry!! <br /><br />Julia </p>
Staff
2015-04-10T17:59:00Z
My Wonderful Parents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Wonderful-Parents/224732192302995414.html
2015-04-09T17:59:00Z
2015-04-09T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Let me tell you about my mom. I recently had the opportunity to speak about her at her retirement party. Prior to her working for the county, she had a much tougher job - SHE WAS OUR MOM. And while Mom stayed home and took care of us little rug rats, my dad worked hard. We had summers filled with swimming lessons, reading, the library, the mall, a vacation, and most of all Mom's attention. Dad was equally great. Together they were loving and supportive. <br /><br />In my teens, my mom was diagnosed with MS. At first it was a bit of a joke. We would roll meatballs and her hands would curl at the movement and close over the meatball. She would open her hand with the other and it would close again. Over the last twenty years, I have watch this disease take over her body. My beautiful, active mom can no longer stand. Even with her many problems, she always went to work. Each morning, she got up at 5:30 to put on her makeup and did her hair and because she does not move around is mindful of her calories. <br /><br />Sometimes she comments she is not that great, but she is to me. She instilled values, love, comfort and support and has been my sounding board for major decisions. I was a terrible teen and young adult and regularly told her I hated her, but she kept me out of trouble. I was fortunate Mom knew more, loved me and cared enough to block me from the harm I would have done. <br /><br />I have so much love and respect for my wonderful parents, they gave the greatest example of how two people can work together and provide a great life if they make that a priority. And lastly, everywhere we went in a car, Mom would always run her hand through Dad's hair. <br /><br />Kara </p>
Staff
2015-04-09T17:59:00Z
No Longer Married to My Girlfriend
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-Longer-Married-to-My-Girlfriend/667531850767531852.html
2015-04-08T17:59:00Z
2015-04-08T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Fifteen years ago, I married my sweet loving girlfriend after many years of dating. The first year of marriage was pretty bumpy, but then she read your book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". Wow, the marriage really got good. <br /><br />Fast forward to today and things have taken a turn for the worse. I like so many of your callers am no longer married to my girlfriend. Instead I'm married to a bitchy wife with 3 kids. Now I understand 3 kids can be a handful, but here are a few thoughts from my perspective. <br /><br /></p>
<ol>
<li><strong>When you say guys don't communicate that's because we often get punished if we communicate.</strong> She asked me what's wrong about a year ago and I made the mistake of telling her. I get the house will be a mess with three kids, but every room is like a war zone. So instead of ever mentioning it again, I just put in some extra effort in doing the dishes for her, some laundry, picking up things. And now by me being helpful and proactive, she considers I'm still complaining...</li>
<br />
<li><strong>I didn't realize I signed up for a life of celibacy.</strong> Again, I made the mistake of communicating my frustration. I also emailed her some quotes from you like, "This is the measure men have of how much their women love them". Now she says I'm just thinking of me. It is an accurate measure, because she knows it will improve the marriage and show me she loves me. </li>
<br />
<li><strong>Men are reactive and not pro-active.</strong> She doesn't seem to understand, the woman sets the mood of the household. And men react to their woman's mood. If she is bitchy then I'm on guard and try to not communicate too much to avoid her wrath. If I confront her, it's twice as bad. And if I avoid her, I'm still a bastard for being quiet and not communicating. Refer back to #1. </li>
<br />
<li><strong>Men aren't women.</strong> I'm not wrong because I don't react to the kids the same way you do. My experience? When I lay down some rules, Mommy intervenes to tell the child Daddy is wrong for being angry. To undermine Daddy like that just sets up the kid to be a spoiled brat for the rest of its life. </li>
</ol>
<p><br />In conclusion, there was time when I would have swam through shark infested waters to bring her a lemonade. Now I just seem to forget some of those presents at anniversaries and birthdays.<br /><br />Peter</p>
Staff
2015-04-08T17:59:00Z
Your Children Are Watching
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Your-Children-Are-Watching/26947941195058241.html
2015-04-07T17:59:00Z
2015-04-07T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />My husband and I have been married 41 years. We have 3 boys 36, 31, 28 and a daughter 25. I was a stay-at-home mom until our daughter started high school and then worked only part time. My husband was thrilled I was home all of those years with our kids and considered it a huge blessing and comfort for him whenever he left town. It is a huge responsibility but it's called parenting! This is what my husband wrote to me recently: <br /><br /><br />Your children were watching... </p>
<blockquote>when you stayed home to care for them instead of working. <br /><br />when you took them places and had as much fun as they did. <br /><br />when you were in church with them every Sunday. <br /><br />when you said bedtime prayers with them. <br /><br />when you made home cooked meals every night. <br /><br />when you had the family sit together at dinner.<br /><br />when you said NO to having TV's or computers in their rooms.<br /><br />when you kept saying "That's just an excuse".<br /><br />when they said they couldn't do something.<br /><br />when you taught them not to lie. <br /><br />when you cared for others in need. <br /><br />when you laughed at all my good AND bad jokes.<br /><br />when you stopped them and me from gossiping. <br /><br />when you helped at school. when you cooked lunch for the school staff. <br /><br />when you took accountability for your actions. <br /><br />when you pushed yourself to reach goals, i.e. riding 150 miles on your bike. <br /><br />when you speak kindly about others and respectfully about me. <br /><br /></blockquote>
There are more, but I think you get the idea. Your kids are watching. Make sure you are present in their lives, don't just spend time, invest your time with them. Years later, you will know you did the right thing and isn't that what Dr. Laura always teaches us: "Now, go do the right thing!"<br /><br />Colleen
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-04-07T17:59:00Z
Marriage Is a Marathon
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Marriage-Is-a-Marathon/-768773589433369464.html
2015-04-06T17:59:00Z
2015-04-06T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />I listen to your program on podcast, so often I am catching up with calls that are a few days old. I heard a call from a woman with four children. While she was in labor, her husband left her for four hours to be elsewhere in the hospital. She said she might never forgive him or trust him again. <br /><br />My labor was 27 hours long and unproductive before the doctors determined both I and my infant might die if an emergency C-section wasn't performed. It was and both my baby boy and I were fine. But during my long labor, my husband left the hospital several times to go to the office and work. Because my labor wasn't progressing, he felt "nothing" was happening, and he might as well not lose a work day. I was angry, crushed, and carried that feeling for years. <br /><br />This year, a large, invasive cancer was discovered in my nose and cheek, and after it was removed, a series of surgeries was begun to reconstruct my face. My husband has not left my side. He has been there for every surgery, every doctor appointment. Even on the first day of surgery, he has told me I am beautiful when a portion of my hairline was shaved, surgical staples were in my scalp and stitches were from my forehead to the side of my mouth. I guess in the 22 years since our son was born, the profundity of our commitment to each other has deepened and emerged. The good news is my surgeon is an artist, and in a year from now, it will be difficult to tell that anything ever happened to me. <br /><br />Like marriage, my reconstruction is a marathon, not a sprint.This year, my dear husband and I will celebrate 33 years of marriage. <br /><br />Maggie </p>
Staff
2015-04-06T17:59:00Z
Importance of Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Importance-of-Family/565280350264854851.html
2015-04-03T17:59:00Z
2015-04-03T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hello, I am a 35-year-old father of four and have been married to my wife for 12 years. I want to share a short story about what my 5-year-old daughter mentioned when she and my wife were looking at our wedding pictures. <br /><br />Our daughter was mentioning how pretty my wife looked and that I looked cute too. She then got a look as if she was thinking pretty hard. My wife asked what my daughter was thinking; my daughter proceeded to ask if my wife was going to get married to somebody else. She didn't want that to happen because she loves me. My wife reassured her that Mom and Dad were always going to be together, and asked what made her think about this. My daughter replied that so many of her classmates at school come from divorced, and remarried families with step-kids. <br /><br />It is sad to me so many children have to endure through their parents' bad decisions, mistakes, and selfishness. The logic of a 5 year old shows us this is becoming the new norm in our society. In my world, I am powerless to prevent this from happening to other children; but it reinforces to me, yet again, the vital importance of providing a safe, secure, loving, supportive, structured, disciplined, and fun world for my family. To the other dads out there, make sure your kids see you love and honor your wife. Make sure your children know the family home will always serve as a safe place. Make sure your children see you as a loving, ethical, and kind father who sets high yet achievable standards. Make sure your kids see you honor your words and commitments. Make sure you eat dinner as a family every night, without the TV, radio, or cell phones. Make sure your kids know and demonstrate this by word and example that family is the most important thing in your life. <br /><br />John</p>
Staff
2015-04-03T17:59:00Z
Doing Something for Others Helps
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Doing-Something-for-Others-Helps/717222248266889620.html
2015-04-02T17:59:00Z
2015-04-02T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />The hardest thing I have ever done was give birth to my stillborn daughter. Two days after we found out our daughter had died I was admitted to the labor and delivery unit of our local hospital to be induced. I always describe it in two ways. First, the day we found out she had died, was like being struck by lightning on a sunny day. Second, it was the saddest day filled with much joy. Sad because I was going to deliver and say good-bye to my daughter, Ashley, in one day. But it was filled with joy because I was able to hold my daughter. I remember her with such love and in a way that is nothing short of a miracle to me - her fingers, toes, ears, mouth and little nose. What a blessing it was to hold her. <br /><br />A caller on your show recently had lost her daughter 15 years ago and was questioning her grief... I agree with your words that it is normal and it is ok. There are a few times a year where I too just weep. I go and give my husband a big hug and we talk about what could have been. You also said to do something good for others. I took my grief and I sew bereavement items for hospitals and families who contact me. I've sent them to all over the country and twice to London, England. Angel gowns for these precious babies. All we had was a doll dress to dress Ashley in. It is my goal that no one has to ever buy a doll dress and donate all that I make. <br /><br />Thank you for your words. <br /><br />Blessings to you, <br /><br />Dawn<br /><a href="http://www.ashleys-angels.org/" target="_blank">ashleys-angels.org</a></p>
Staff
2015-04-02T17:59:00Z
I Was the One Messing Everything Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Was-the-One-Messing-Everything-Up/-183327038068417124.html
2015-04-01T17:59:00Z
2015-04-01T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I used to feel like I was the perfect one in our marriage and my husband was the one messing everything up. Poor me...I even threatened divorce. Imagine my surprise when it finally dawned on me that I was the one who was messing everything up. I wanted to control my strong and smart hubby. He was polite enough to remain with me and not be rude back, but he pretty much stayed away from me, which I found annoying. <br /><br />I took a hard look at myself and started maturing. I began learning about the role of a wife and started to emerge the person I am today. I really have seen a tremendous change in myself and that has transformed my marriage and my life. I feel so fortunate to have a close relationship with my husband and I really appreciate he has opened his heart to me again. We have been married for 18 years and this last one has been the best in of our entire relationship. It is like the beginning all over again. Ladies, we women can't have intimacy if we are trying to control our husbands. I can now say I am my husband's girlfriend, cheerleader, safe place, etc. <br /><br />I have also learned it is more important how you come across to the people living in your home than the public friends, coworkers etc. I want to be someone my family considers fun to live with. My 3 children are so much more relaxed and carefree and I love they can feel the good vibes in our home. <br /><br />I feel joy daily, and I am a much more relaxed mommy and a fun wife. <br /><br />I adore you Dr. Laura and I will always be listening to your words of wisdom. <br /><br />Rebekah</p>
Staff
2015-04-01T17:59:00Z
A Proud Stay-at-Home Mommy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Proud-Stay-at-Home-Mommy/610002912856142960.html
2015-03-31T17:59:00Z
2015-03-31T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I'm writing to personally thank you for the incredible impact you have had on my life. At the age of 23, I started listening to your radio show to help pass time from one sales call to the next - I was in pharmaceutical sales for 6 years. Over the course of those 6 years of listening to you, you changed my heart. <br /><br />Ten years ago, I would have never imagined putting my career on hold in order to raise my child. Because society today has the expectation on mothers to work outside the home, I put that same expectation on myself. How foolish of me to think that a day care facility can give the same amount of love and attention as a mommy can. This past fall, my husband and I gave birth to a precious baby boy. Thankfully we had planned ahead and put enough in savings in order for me to leave my job without financial stress. My son is now almost 7 months old and I can proudly say that I have been there to hear his first giggle, see his first rollover, and give him endless hugs and kisses throughout the day. There are hundreds of these priceless moments I would have missed if I had been working. I am so grateful for stumbling upon your show when I did and thereby changing the course of my future. <br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, for helping me become a better wife and mother and for continuing to be the voice of every SAHM. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Elizabeth<br /><br /> P.S. Attached is a photo of my son with our 2 year old Rhodesian Ridgeback "Zuri" <br /><br /> <img src="/images/blog/eod_033115.jpg" alt="" /></p>
Staff
2015-03-31T17:59:00Z
When Times Get Tough
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-Times-Get-Tough/-39818899271940233.html
2015-03-30T17:59:00Z
2015-03-30T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />I agree 100% with the statement you've said, "When tough times happen, you don't turn ON each other, you turn TO each other." My husband is a home builder and in 2008 when the housing market crashed hard, we went through a very difficult time with no "family money" or "investor money" to back us up. It was just us, 5 kids, 9 un-sold, high priced building lots and 2 over a million dollar spec homes un-sold. It crushed us financially. We saw several people in the industry struggle extremely with their marriages and even divorce. <br /><br />How did we make it through? First, my husband had a severe episode of depression. He was distant, emotionally flat, and mean! I had to go back to work and hope that my husband didn't have to be hospitalized. He was verbally mean all the time and so mad that we all avoided him as if he were some kind of monster. I knew things were hard, I knew he needed me and so I told him I loved him many times even though he really was unlovable at the time! I looked on the bright side; I did what it took to help support the family emotionally and financially. <br /><br />It took time, but he has changed back into the caring and loving husband and father I knew he was. When I look back on those years of really hard times I know that I made the right decision to love him through it, to get sh*t done without complaining that it's not my job and to turn TO him every opportunity I could find. <br /><br />I know in the next adventure we will both turn to each other and get through that too. Nowadays he texts me often daily to see how I am, to flirt with me, to tell me how sexy I am and I feed into that and text him back how much he is my sexy big man crush, because it makes him happy and life is good!! If I had given up back when things were hard and simply complained about his lack of love which was true, we would have divorced. I'm so glad we didn't do that because there was a reason we loved each other enough to get married. It was worth putting aside my own feelings and loving him anyway. <br /><br />Karen </p>
Staff
2015-03-30T17:59:00Z
He's a Keeper!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hes-a-Keeper!/-466740191257469256.html
2015-03-27T17:59:00Z
2015-03-27T17:59:00Z
<p><br />I knew my spouse was the one because I saw how much he wanted to provide for and protect me. Early on in the relationship my car broke down and he told me to take his car to work and he would take the bus to his work until he fixed my car! When things got serious he told me he would work as much overtime as needed so I could quit my job and stay at home to raise the kids. He always wanted to be the man who provided for our family and fix things and I've always found that very attractive. <br /><br />Jessica</p>
Staff
2015-03-27T17:59:00Z
Who Has Changed Your Life to the Better?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Who-Has-Changed-Your-Life-to-the-Better/-182746744099133947.html
2015-03-26T17:59:00Z
2015-03-26T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr Laura, <br /><br />I am the wife of an alpha male and a SAHM of two teenage boys. It is a heck of a ride and I am grateful for all of it. <br /><br />I would like to share and essay written by our 13-year-old son. It was sent to me by the school administrator. Normally the essays are kept private, as they are meant to assess writing ability, but she forwarded it to me as she felt I would want to "treasure every word". <br /><em> </em></p>
<blockquote><em>Name one person who has changed your life for the better:</em> When I think of people who have changed my life for the better, one person instantly comes to mind. She is an amazing role model, a teacher and a friend. She is my mother and the most important ways she changed my life were by installing in me strong morals, a sense of right and wrong, and by teaching me what it means to be happy. My mother gave me a strong moral compass from a young age. Not only did she teach me right from wrong, but she taught me to determine right from wrong on my own. Later in life, this was invaluable, helping me determine who good friends were, and allowing me to have my own opinion on events happening around the world. <br /><br />What does it mean to be happy? Around the holiday season we have all heard the saying "it's about giving not getting." My mother showed me happiness is deeper than that. True happiness comes from helping others, not acquiring toys or a fancy car. At first, I did not believe her, and I thought getting was how to be happy. She proved me wrong when I participated in community service at the children's museum. Helping there made me feel great, better than any toy or game! <br /><br />I have my mother to thank for all these great things I have learned from her. I am truly blessed to have such a great mom.</blockquote>
<br />Dr Laura, I was so touched by this essay, I told my husband I want it read at my funeral! Thank you for encouraging moms to stay home and be there for their families. We do make a difference in the lives of our kids, and one day they will share with others what a blessing that is. <br /><br />Alisa
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-03-26T17:59:00Z
Keeping My Husband Happy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-My-Husband-Happy/380083462227277605.html
2015-03-25T17:59:00Z
2015-03-25T17:59:00Z
<p><br />I love my marriage as much as my husband. We do not toy around with anything that could lead us astray. I do the kind and loving things you talk about on the show. I refrain from doing the things you say push men away. I trust in things he does. I trust his decisions are from decades of wisdom and a life of goodness. I try not to argue though I'm hardly the little obedient wife. <br /><br />After the above-mentioned groundwork is set, there are a million things we do that make us happy: we play, laugh, and good friends. Somehow we turn almost everything we do into an adventure. I rub his feet when we watch the romantic comedies which I love. I listen to one of his stories for the thousandth time and respond as if it's the first time I've heard it. We call every single day at lunch to say hello. If the groundwork is solid two people can have magnificent marriage. <br /><br />He will listen to your show and sometimes I'll ask him if he was forced to call what would he ask and each time, he says he cannot think of one thing. How sweet is that? And, honestly, neither can I!<br /><br />Thank you for all you do. <br /><br />Kim</p>
Staff
2015-03-25T17:59:00Z
The Right and Loving Things to Do
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Right-and-Loving-Things-to-Do/-752558880208117202.html
2015-03-24T17:59:00Z
2015-03-24T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Lately, my parents, who are in their 70's, have been experiencing several health problems, along with things around their house needing to be fixed or repaired. This has all become a lot for them to handle. While they are strong people, I do hear the strain in their voices each week when we talk on the phone. They remain positive, but some days are real struggles for them. <br /><br />I told my husband about my mom's latest diagnosis, Macular Degeneration, and I was considering flying out to visit my parents for a few days to help them out. I had looked at flights, but they were all expensive and I knew we were on a budget. Today, my husband told me he had just booked not one, but TWO flights for us to go visit my parents in a few weeks. Immediately I was overcome with emotion, realizing he had made the kind of decision that a MAN would make: he lovingly encouraged my relationship with my parents, and he lovingly will be devoting his time in a few weeks to fixing whatever needs to be fixed around their house. My husband replied with a simple "You're welcome, Sweetie" when I hugged him, my eyes full of tears. He is not the kind of man who does things for praise; he is the kind of man who does things for me and his family because they are the right and loving things to do. <br /><br />Dr. Laura, I am married to a kind, giving, and sacrificing man who shows me every day what love is. Thank you for your influence in my life, and so many others. <br /><br />With deepest gratitude, <br /><br />Diane</p>
Staff
2015-03-24T17:59:00Z
A Male Perspective on Home Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Male-Perspective-on-Home-Life/-716659959040765672.html
2015-03-23T17:59:00Z
2015-03-23T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My wife and I have been married 11.5 years. We have 3 children ages 7, 5, and 2. My wife is at home with them while I work and go to school full time. <br /><br />Over the years, I have slowly taken on more responsibilities. I have always done the usual male role items of taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, etc. but other items that are predominantly my responsibility have been picking up the house before bed time, the laundry, nightly dishes, scrubbing the bathroom, and a few hours on the weekend addressing things that have just piled up. <br /><br />The amount of effort I felt like I was giving was definitely building up and beginning to take a toll on our relationship and intimacy. It wasn't until my wife said to me "You make a better housekeeper than I do" that I saw the shame and hurtfulness I was imposing on her, furthering the downward spiral. She was giving it her all, as most females AND males do to contribute to our relationship. While I may be able to clean a room efficiently and multitask housework, that does not diminish her contribution. It took a shift in my frame of reference to focus on accomplishments rather than disappointments. I also apologized for hurting her in that way. <br /><br />I still make mistakes about judging what is not getting done, but I try now to focus on what is being accomplished without me. Our relationship is healing, and yesterday we helped each other put clean sheets on our bed that I didn't even wash. <br /><br />Michael</p>
Staff
2015-03-23T17:59:00Z
A Sailing Challenge
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Sailing-Challenge/-461830217969256558.html
2015-03-20T17:59:00Z
2015-03-20T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, you will appreciate this story. When my husband and I were first getting to know each other, on our second or third date, I took him racing with my crew on my J-24 to determine if: 1) Was he able to handle a competitive woman who was in charge? and 2) Would it bother him that my crew were all male - any jealousy issues? He passed with flying colors, we got married and he still races with me today. <br /><br />Patti </p>
Staff
2015-03-20T17:59:00Z
Fishing Date from Hell
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fishing-Date-from-Hell/-526887131222393151.html
2015-03-19T17:59:00Z
2015-03-19T17:59:00Z
<p><br />Almost 30 years ago, my sweetie invited my dad and I on a fishing date from hell trip. We did not do well and only caught a couple of fish. <br /><br />On our way home, on a very hot summer day, the boat trailer had a flat. When my sweetie and Dad tried to change the tire, the spare would not fit. We were stranded on a highway, in the middle of nowhere, needing a new tire, rim and specialized tools to fix the problem. Dad and I stayed with boat and trailer on side of highway for several hours while Sweetie got the items needed to fix trailer and to get us home. Despite the fact that we were all tired, hot, hungry and disappointed, no cross words were spoken and we all tried to make light of a very frustrating day.<br /><br />Later that evening, Sweetie cleaned the measly two fish in my sink to cook. When he turned away, my seafood loving cat stole a filet and ran under the table to eat it. Sweetie grabbed the cat who would not let go of the filet.I knew he wanted to strangle that cat, but instead held the kitty in the air, stared him down until my cat released the fish filet. I knew at that point he was the man for me. <br /><br />Sweetie and I got married a couple of years later and we will be celebrating our 27th anniversary this May. <br /><br />Dara</p>
Staff
2015-03-19T17:59:00Z
Build Your Children Up by Focusing on Effort
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Build-Your-Children-Up-by-Focusing-on-Effort/690315504549191636.html
2015-03-18T17:59:00Z
2015-03-18T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I listened to your comments about focusing on your children's effort and hard work, instead of scores or grades. I couldn't agree more. <br /><br />My son has a severe learning disability. His short term memory, processing speed and perceptual reasoning are all in the very low functioning range... We finally got him in a special program where the teachers understand how his brain works and challenge him...AND A LOT of effort, he is able to do some grade level work. <br /><br />I know that his skills are not academic, but he has is very empathetic, and extremely spiritual for a small child. And most of all, he NEVER EVER gives up. He puts in 110 percent into everything he does, with a good attitude. So when he brings home a 1 out of 4 math, we celebrate the effort that he put into it. He sees other kids with better marks; I tell him..."You will get far because of your effort and attitude." <br /><br /></p>
<blockquote>"You aren't mad because I only got 1 out of 4, Mom?" <br /><br />"Son, did you try you best?" <br /><br />"Yes, Mom. I did my best. It was difficult" <br /><br />"Son, did you have a good attitude or get frustrated?" <br /><br />"I stayed positive."<br /><br /> "Then that is all I ask." <br /><br /></blockquote>
His 1 out of 4 means so much more because it's so difficult for him than a kid who has 4 out of 4. It's his effort, and all the hard work that we put in every day to get him there. I don't know if he will ever completely catch up, but he will make it in this world with his personality, his 'can do' attitude and hard work. It is a lot of work, but I know I was put on this earth to raise this special little boy. <br /><br />Jill
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-03-18T17:59:00Z
She Didn't Lose Her Job
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/She-Didnt-Lose-Her-Job/746689445852268913.html
2015-03-17T17:59:00Z
2015-03-17T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Listening to a recent podcast, I heard a call from a woman whose husband lost his job and expected her to go back to work. This prompted me to remember how amazingly my husband handled a similar situation. In 2000, we had a 2-year-old, and a 10-month-old when he lost his job. He came home and told me, "Don't worry, we will have a roof over our head, food on the table, running water and electricity." I never worried. <br /><br />I watched my husband get up every morning and do day labor. He would work with various contractors doing whatever it took to earn money, while continuing to look for full-time employment. People would ask him, "Why don't you have your wife go back to work?" His response was always, "Why? She didn't lose her job, my daughters still need their mom." He refused to collect unemployment, as he felt he was capable of working. He was out of work for 8 weeks, but kept his wonderful sense of humor, and never let us see his stress or frustration. <br /><br />Thought you'd enjoy this quick story, <br /><br />Christie </p>
Staff
2015-03-17T17:59:00Z
The Simple Act of Smiling
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Simple-Act-of-Smiling/-263409209257781456.html
2015-03-16T17:59:00Z
2015-03-16T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura: <br /><br />In my first assignment as an Army nurse, I was stationed at a hospital in then West Germany. Every day as I got ready to enter the ward on which I worked, I'd find the usual cares and woes of life riding along on my shoulders. When I reached for the door handle; however, I would make myself take a really deep breath, blow it all out, and then plaster on a huge smile. I figured my patients didn't need to deal with my "stuff", as I was there to help them. So many of my patients commented that my big smile, as I came through that door, was one of the things - and sometimes the only thing - that helped get them through the worst days of their lives. (I'm choking up while writing this.) <br /><br />Taking care of "Joe" - the affectionate term used to describe the "everyman" soldier - was the best part of my life. I was so honored to be entrusted with that responsibility. Plastering that smile on my face actually made ME happy - instantly! It really, really works. You find that you aren't just smiling, but are giving your smile to someone else. In one of those funny ways of life, it is then your heart that benefits. <br /><br />Thank you for all you do, Dr. Laura. Hoo-ah! <br /><br />Hugs, <br /><br />Minta <br /><br />P.S. Here are three of the reasons I'm almost always happy. They are McCorkle, Dinah, and Calvin. Of course, if I could, I'd add my husband Jim to that picture, as he is my #1 reason.<br /><br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/031615_eod.jpg" alt="" /> </p>
Staff
2015-03-16T17:59:00Z
Father to My 82 Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Father-to-My-82-Children/841984861831526868.html
2015-03-13T17:59:00Z
2015-03-13T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />My husband and I were set up by his momma and my aunt. First, he brought me a chocolate cupcake because I had mentioned in passing that I loved them. Second, I was so tired of all the games boys my age were playing I decided to take your advice and cut to the chase. I asked him why he was dating. I told him I was dating to meet my future husband and father to my 82 children. His response would determine how much longer our first date would last, and if there would even be a second one. He thought for a minute, and then said "Well I don't think we are a match. I am dating to find a wife and mother to my 83 children." Needless to say we have been on the same page since we met and will be celebrating 4 laughter-filled married years together in October. <br /><br />Thanks for all your advice! <br /><br />Lindsay</p>
Staff
2015-03-13T17:59:00Z
Consider Homeschooling
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Consider-Homeschooling/-647211683844185934.html
2015-03-12T17:59:00Z
2015-03-12T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hello Dr. Laura! <br /><br />Two years ago, I pulled my daughter from her public school where she was treated like wallpaper and put her in a local charter school. The first year at the charter school was good and my daughter was challenged at her level. So good, that I took a job at the school as a para-professional. But the next year, she had a class full of chaos. <br /><br />After much prodding by the teacher I worked for, I considered homeschooling for the first time. I did my research and pulled her out of school mid-year. I developed an English curriculum for her and had the same math curriculum as her school. We joined an art class, a PhyEd class, a theatre company, and held piano, voice and violin lessons. In addition, she learned Spanish, computer programming and typing. <br /><br />I have a family full of public educators. They openly chastised me, thinking I was nuts. It is not easy when people snarl at what you are doing, but I worked hard to challenge my daughter. I was so successful, that when I gave her the California Basics Test many schools give, she scored four and a half grades higher than her grade level as compared to the national standard. Of course, I shared that with my naysaying family members.<br /><br />Now, she has been accepted into a prestigious prep school and is going to be leading a computer programming club for Elementary students along with the head of the school. She is at the top of her class, and continues her love of learning. <br /><br />Dr. Laura, my husband and I talk about our homeschooling experience regularly and consider going back to it often. Although we love her school, the experiences she received as a homeschool student were above and beyond what any school could give. We will never, ever, ever go back to public school. It doesn't have to do with the teachers, but everything to do with the curriculum and to the social engineering of mindlessness. Thank YOU for promoting FAMILY values and encouraging us all to be brave as we make unstandardized choices and charge on!! <br /><br />Most sincerely, <br /><br />Jocelyn</p>
Staff
2015-03-12T17:59:00Z
Nice Guys Do Not Finish Last
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Nice-Guys-Do-Not-Finish-Last/-234315330661151329.html
2015-03-11T17:59:00Z
2015-03-11T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />What quality caught my attention when we were dating? Was it flowers and chocolate every day? Fancy dinners? Did he wear stylish clothes and drive a fancy car? No. No. No. It was a very basic, yet magnificent quality that is not always apparent or appreciated in this society. The amazing aspect of my husband that caught my attention was: kindness. <br /><br />When we first started dating, he would complement my outfit, ask how my day went, make a quick phone call to know he was thinking about me, or write me a sweet love poem. We did not shack up so we didn't see each other every day, but he always found a way to show me kindness. I would get a "secret smile" as I went about my day just thinking about the simple kindnesses he would extend to me. I had never felt such tender affection from someone and a genuine caring. <br /><br />My husband continues to do all these things even as we are in the thick of family life and raising our children. He instills qualities of respect, hard work, and kindness in our four children so these qualities will continue through them. He is a stay-at-home dad and his kindness is illustrated by making lunches, doing laundry, cleaning, and having absolute dedication to our family so they are raised with our values and not those values of strangers in a day care. I have often heard people say that "nice guys finish last." This is not the case in our situation because my guy always finishes first in my heart. <br /><br />With respect and appreciation, <br /><br />Jessica</p>
Staff
2015-03-11T17:59:00Z
The Next Generation Is Listening
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Next-Generation-Is-Listening/833249437677180262.html
2015-03-10T17:59:00Z
2015-03-10T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My 13-year-old daughter was given a project in class. The project was to choose a world problem and come up with a solution. I was a little nervous when my daughter told me she had chosen divorce as her problem and she was going to use you as a source. <br /><br />My daughter's solution? If the parents felt it was absolutely necessary to divorce, they had to allow their children to stay in the home and the parents had to move back and forth each week. She even gave it a catchy name: KHF - Kid's Happiness First. She did a whole power point on it and included research from psychologists on the effects divorce has on children. Her data even came from several different countries. I thought she did a fantastic job, but my concern was the school or the teacher may not appreciate her viewpoint. <br /><br />Well, the opposite happened. My daughter got an A, and even more importantly, she was chosen to present her project to the whole school. She showed so much insight and depth considering she has not been exposed to divorce firsthand. <br /><br />Thank you for your show, your insight and for being another voice reiterating the "right thing" in my life and now my daughter's. Our whole family is a huge fan of your show. My little ones even play a Dr. Laura game with their Barbie's calling in for advice. It's cute. Thanks to you, if asked, I will never say I am raising 3 beautiful daughters, I will say I'm raising 3 exceptional human beings to do the right thing. <br /><br />Jenne</p>
Staff
2015-03-10T17:59:00Z
He Opened My Eyes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Opened-My-Eyes/152210121865174881.html
2015-03-09T17:59:00Z
2015-03-09T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />I had gone out with my husband a few times and was speaking to him on almost a daily basis. I was legally divorced for a year. It was tax season and I had mentioned to him I was meeting my ex-husband to do his taxes. He did not get angry; he asked if my ex and I were filing a joint return. My answer was no. He calmly said "Well, it appears you need to figure out what it is that you want. It seems you are not through with your relationship with your ex. When you decide you're done with him, call me." That took me back. <br /><br />After catching my breath, I realized what I was doing. I called my ex, told him I was not doing his taxes, and to no longer contact me. I then called my now-husband, thanked him for opening my eyes, and then apologized for leading him on. It has been seven years since then. It took me five years to learn to love a true man: honest, straight-shooting, fearless, supporting and loving and we have married two years. After taking the time to learn to admire, respect and love, I am a truly happy wife. <br /><br />Adriane</p>
Staff
2015-03-09T17:59:00Z
In Praise of Grocery Store Moms!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/In-Praise-of-Grocery-Store-Moms!/-312458497279662070.html
2015-03-06T18:59:00Z
2015-03-06T18:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just heard your call of the day with Sarah and how her 10-month-old loves the trips to the grocery store. I tell you, I don't need to squint real hard to remember that was my favorite place as a kid, too. It was magical - all those colors, smells, lights, aisle after aisle after aisle. And the toy aisle! Never did get all I wanted, of course, but those shelves of toys stretched up to high Olympus. I wore myself out just looking at everything. And after all that, the penny horse ride on the way out. I felt like royalty atop my steed, all the kingdom pushing their carts past and winking at me. I'd been to places with Ferris wheels and cotton candy, but they were nothing compared to the grocery store. And Mom knew it. It got to the point where she stopped buying the week's worth of groceries and went every other day for a few items instead. <br /><br />Oh and to all you grocery shoppers in northern Ohio in the early seventies, if you're wondering where all the Chiquita banana stickers went, I stuck them over every inch of my body. <br /><br />John</p>
Staff
2015-03-06T18:59:00Z
My Man and Duct Tape
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Man-and-Duct-Tape/522792929922980131.html
2015-03-05T18:59:00Z
2015-03-05T18:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I started to date my husband on New Year's Eve. My birthday is Feb 13th and this wonderful man presented me with two frying pans in the store bag with duct tape wrapped around the handles. Then on Valentine's Day, he presented me with a coffee grinder and of course coffee beans. Once again in the store bag with duct tape to close the bag. This man and his duct tape won my heart. I do not like flowers and when I get anything sexy I like to pick it out and make sure I look good. I am so glad he gave me these gifts because he made me laugh and didn't put any romantic pressures on me. And now I have the most wonderful story to tell people! <br /><br />He still makes me laugh and we just celebrated our 20th anniversary. I am a proud stay-at-home mother and my man's girlfriend and best friend. <br /><br />Love your show, <br /><br />Cheryl</p>
Staff
2015-03-05T18:59:00Z
Make Fitness a Priority
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Make-Fitness-a-Priority/-865232021141372841.html
2015-03-04T18:59:00Z
2015-03-04T18:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am writing about a caller who was worried about her husband's weight. One of the excuses was they have four young kids and just want some downtime together at night. <br /><br />I too am my four-kids'-43-year-old-mom; boys are 9 and 7, twin girls are 31/2 (surprise!). We are beyond busy, exhausted and all the rest of excuses; however, being fit is a priority. We don't try; we do it. I am a competitive long distance runner, work out intensely with and without a trainer even for just a half hour. I can actually crush my husband at full on pull-ups, but I digress. <br /><br />Here is how we make it work: every morning my husband leaves for a run or the gym by 4am. I do kids-off-to-school duty. Then I exercise. I take them to the gym playroom so I can swim, or I sit on our stationary bike for an hour while they nap. Yes, I could be folding laundry or playing on Facebook, and so on, but the energy and pride I get from being a fit mama helps not only me, but our family dynamic. <br /><br />On weekends, my husband and I switch off workouts between soccer and basketball and play practice. In summer, one of us drives the kids to a park, the other runs there and then we trade places. My husband trained for a grueling 50K race this way last year. <br /><br />We just do it, even when we are tired. We eat clean and healthy, but not loony strict. Kids do not own devices and downtime for them is playing anything with a ball, even when it is 4 degrees out. <br /><br />Keep up your tough love messages by holding people accountable for their bodies. Challenge their excuses. People say, "You are so lucky" having a fit body after housing full term twins at age 40. Luck? Uh-uh, no such luck, no magic, just sacrifice, commitment and prioritization. <br /><br />Best, <br /><br />Kaye</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-03-04T18:59:00Z
Waiting Made It Better
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Waiting-Made-It-Better/-812135036890370793.html
2015-03-03T18:59:00Z
2015-03-03T18:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />When my husband and I began dating, we were in our forties. Unfortunately, in our age group, sex is an expectation of even the most casual of dating. I knew I had a keeper when at the very beginning of our relationship, he agreed to wait until our wedding night! This was made all the sweeter as we had both previously been married so we knew what comforts and pleasure we were missing. <br /><br />We celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary this past Valentine's Day. We have a marriage that is not only passionate and getting more so each year, but we have peace in our home and the loving, trusting, never-going-to-leave-you-no-matter-what relationship we've always dreamed of. Thank you for encouraging us! <br /><br />Love, <br /><br />Kelly</p>
Staff
2015-03-03T18:59:00Z
Little Girls Need Their Fathers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Little-Girls-Need-Their-Fathers/170949065625031666.html
2015-03-02T18:59:00Z
2015-03-02T18:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My father and mother were divorced when I was 3 years old due to his cheating ways. Because of you, I have come to realize a lot of the problems I have had in my life have come from his absence. I was promiscuous at a very young age which lead to a series of very bad choices. Then I married at a young age to an older man - looking for the love I never got from my father. <br /><br />When he remarried and made more babies, I was devastated. I was still a teenager at the time and felt completely unlovable. He never even cared enough to pay child support. When I was going through my divorce, I talked about moving near to where he lived. He told me in no uncertain terms to not do that. I kept feeling like that little girl who just wanted her daddy to love her. <br /><br />But after listening to your show, I realized I was trying to kiss the butt of a complete jackass. If he was not my dad, I would have stopped long ago. The little girl inside me grieves for a father who never really existed. It is freeing to move on without that anchor around my neck. <br /><br />Now, I have a wonderful husband who treats me better than I ever could have imagined was possible. At least with him, I was smart enough to pick a real man and not someone to fill in for my dad. Little girls need their dads to be invested in their lives. I just wish more parents out there would understand the long lasting and devastating affects it has on their daughter's lives. <br /><br />Thanks you so much for all you do, with your help and my husband's support, I am finally feeling lovable again. <br /><br />Andrea</p>
Staff
2015-03-02T18:59:00Z
He Still Makes Me Sigh
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Still-Makes-Me-Sigh/311445554040840120.html
2015-02-27T18:59:00Z
2015-02-27T18:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />We had been dating for about a year, when my boyfriend came home from college one night. We hadn't seen each other for three months. He scaled the drain pipe of our neighbors' home, jumped to our roof top and knocked on my bedroom window, just to say, "Hi!" Sigh...My knight in shining armor had scaled a roof top for me. Well, my dad heard the commotion, and in his boxers with a baseball bat in his hand confronted my boyfriend and promptly banned me from ever seeing him again! <br /><br />Skip forwards 37 years, 3 daughters and many, many happy times and I am gratefully my husband's girlfriend!! He still makes me sigh! <br /><br />Love your show, <br /><br />Mary Jo </p>
Staff
2015-02-27T18:59:00Z
Our First Christmas
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-First-Christmas/966871323513695952.html
2015-02-26T18:59:00Z
2015-02-26T18:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />When my now-husband and I started dating, I was a flight attendant living in a studio apartment. I didn't have any Christmas decorations and wouldn't even be "home" during the holidays because I knew I would be working. I had a last minute trip change where I was able to see him for about 5 hours on Christmas Eve - our first Christmas dating! When he picked me up from the airport, we drove to his apartment to drop off my things, then go out for lunch and ice skating. <br /><br />Being a single guy, he normally didn't decorate, but he knew how much I loved the holidays. Within a day's notice, he had decorated his entire apartment for me! He had put lights all over, garland lined the stairway, little snowmen sat in the windowsills and best of all - he got a tree, decorated it and made an ornament with a snow-couple that said "Our First Christmas". Seven years later, I still have that ornament and each time we hit a new milestone, he makes me a new one. <br /><br />I've listened to you since I was 5 sitting in the backseat of my parent's car. My mom bought me "10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives" for my 18th birthday and I've always tried to live like you were my second mom. We've been married for 3-1/2 years and have a Vizsla puppy (like a small Ridgeback). I'm a stay-at-home mom with an 18-month-old son and just found out we have a new baby on the way. I'm so glad I've continued to listen to you and will raise my son and (future baby in my belly?) to be a true man - And his father will be able to show him how to be a wonderful husband. <br /><br />Thank you for all that you do. <br /><br />With love, <br /><br />Tammy</p>
Staff
2015-02-26T18:59:00Z
All the Necessities Money Can't Buy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/All-the-Necessities-Money-Cant-Buy/854568913928493408.html
2015-02-25T18:59:00Z
2015-02-25T18:59:00Z
<p><br /><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Thank you for being the voice for stay-at-home moms. When my children were little you reassured me my status as a full-time mom was not due to laziness, privilege or lack of ability to get a "paying" job. We struggled and budgeted to get by during those years on one income and we raised six children! <br /><br />Instead of first-run shows, we went to the dollar matinee. We didn't take a vacation every summer, but we loved to lay outside at night on pillows and blankets looking at the stars, talking about "whatever" and finding constellations. <br /><br />One year, our almost 17-year-old son was killed suddenly in a car accident. Of course I was stricken with grief and pain. I kept hearing about the guilt parents feel at the loss of a child for not showing more love, spending more time etc. I never experienced that guilt. One thing I knew without a doubt was my boy knew how much I loved him. Our memories were filled with tender times and crazy fun. All the necessities money can't buy. <br /><br />Keep your voice loud and clear, Dr. Laura. Your words are wise and if heeded, will spare many a listener untold heartache. <br /><br />Thanks for letting me share. <br /><br />Gay </p>
Staff
2015-02-25T18:59:00Z
Marrying a Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Marrying-a-Family/40686851343920537.html
2015-02-24T18:59:00Z
2015-02-24T18:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Dating in my 20's was difficult, fun at times - sure, but equally frustrating. My mom never understood why I couldn't pick a man to marry. What she should have asked me was why I couldn't pick a FAMILY to marry! <br /><br />My husband and I were friends from a fitness center for several months when he asked a group of us over to his parents' house for a 4th of July celebration. We all headed over expecting to have a great time at the beach and barbecuing, but what I DIDN'T expect was I would leave their home knowing exactly who I was going to marry. That day I saw my friend interact with his family and watched him host his family's huge celebration. He made sure we were all comfortable, bringing us plate after plate of food and always made sure we had a beverage of our choice to sip on, all while having fun and just being himself around his family. After only a few hours I realized this was the man I was for me after seeing how he treated and interacted with his family... it also didn't hurt how he looked swinging a kettlebell around, but that was just a bonus! <br /><br />That very night I broke up with my current boyfriend hoping my friend and I would become more than just friends. That was 4 years ago. <br /><br />Today we are married with a 1-year-old son and another baby due in just a few weeks. Every time we have family or friends over, I am reminded why I married him. Every night when he helps with the dishes, I am reminded why I married him. And every Sunday when we spend our day with the extended family, I am reminded I married ALL OF THEM and it makes us complete. You don't just marry a person, you also marry where they came from. And I found a great man who came from a great family! <br /><br />Lucky in love and family, <br /><br />Sara</p>
Staff
2015-02-24T18:59:00Z
What Makes an Exceptional Student
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Makes-an-Exceptional-Student/737667777460512237.html
2015-02-23T18:59:00Z
2015-02-23T18:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />As one who has spent a long time in school and then teaching college students, I have seen every type of student. Here's what I think that makes an exceptional student: It is not being exceptionally intelligent that makes the best students - it is taking responsibility for one's own learning. In other words, "I have to find a way to learn this even if the teacher isn't the best". They participate fully in all learning activities, and ask for assistance and clarification when needed. I have seen intelligent people fail due to lack of effort and placing blame everywhere, but on themselves. AND I have seen people of average intelligence or even those with educational challenges succeed due to sheer effort and persistence. I love those students! I'll do most anything to help those students succeed. To see the light go on and a struggling student "get it" and succeed makes my day and all the extra effort on my part more than worth it. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Meredith</p>
Staff
2015-02-23T18:59:00Z
Romantic Fishing Dates
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Romantic-Fishing-Dates/-264137251202331839.html
2015-02-20T18:59:00Z
2015-02-20T18:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />On our very first date, my now-husband took me bass fishing. When my car's inside door handle wouldn't work, he laid on the ground and peered into the open panel. He asked me to work the outside handle and fixed it -- even though he'd told me he'd never fixed one before. <br /><br />On another fishing date, the trolling motor broke. He used some fiberglass repair stuff and got it working. A few days later, I asked him if he found the part for the motor. He said, "I picked that up the next day and repaired it." It was then that I realized I had a real man. He didn't have the right stuff to repair the trolling motor, but he managed to get it running again. Plus he didn't just let it stay that way and wait to fix it; he fixed it properly the next day. <br /><br />We married and had two girls. When they were about 6 and 8-years-old, an ice storm left us without power for 3 days. My hubby cooked meals on top of our cast iron wood stove in a cast iron skillet, and slept on the floor in front of our wood stove so he would wake up when the fire got low and could build it back up. Because he's good at handling money, our daughters now have fat college funds, our property is ours free and clear, and he was able to retire at 56. <br /><br />I always hoped I'd find someone who'd shower me with diamonds and take me out to dinner every other night. Not happening; that first date fishing trip was a sign of things to come! But he showed me that real true love is sleeping on the floor so the fire doesn't go out and your family gets cold. Is he perfect? No, but he's just perfect for me. <br /><br />Brenda</p>
Staff
2015-02-20T18:59:00Z
Kids Today Need Imaginations
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Kids-Today-Need-Imaginations/-149415880750988634.html
2015-02-19T18:59:00Z
2015-02-19T18:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />It seems all kids care about now is what shows up on an iPhone or computer screen! When I was a kid we were almost ALWAYS playing and riding our bikes OUTSIDE! We used our imaginations. For example: The school vestibule was a "submarine"! We were secret agents with pistols made out of snow! The tall monkey-bars were a "rocket-ship" and we were going to Venus! We'd explore the culverts, and look for "Black Widow" spiders and were scared of them! A lawn chair was a "race-car"! On the rope swing, we were fighter pilots, putting our feet down was our landing gear! Sure we had some toys, but it was our imaginations that made so much fun as a kid! Who needed video-games? We had our imaginations. <br /><br />Terry</p>
Staff
2015-02-19T18:59:00Z
Romantic Dinner
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Romantic-Dinner/-498465859122377580.html
2015-02-18T18:59:00Z
2015-02-18T18:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />When my now husband and I were in college at Chico State in 1986, we had little to no money. One Valentine's Day, he said I needed to dress up and we were going to dinner. I was so excited, yet I was worried about where he was going to get the money to take us both out to dinner. He had a 1963 Volkswagen van and we started walking towards his van as if we were going to leave to go somewhere and instead, he opened up the back and inside he had the table set up with a tablecloth, flowers and he had the windows covered with a beach towel that was an ocean and palm tree scene. He had an ice chest with champagne and homemade spaghetti and meatballs. We sat there and ate dinner inside his van. This was just one of the reasons why I knew he would be the one I would spend the rest of my life with. We now have been married for 25 years, and to this day, that was the most romantic dinner ever. <br /><br />Denise</p>
Staff
2015-02-18T18:59:00Z
No Dating Until Children Are 18
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-Dating-Until-Children-Are-18/-587113079355620960.html
2015-02-17T18:59:00Z
2015-02-17T18:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Years ago, I wrote thanking you for your stand on staying single until the children turn 18 years old. I became divorced when they were elementary school age. You and my pastor's wife were the only voices saying not to date until the kids were 18. I did listen, though it was extremely hard. I was one of those ladies who tended to be a little "guy crazy". However, I put aside the romance novel ideas, and invested in my three kids. It was the BEST advice ever!! I can't even stress enough how often I think I am so glad I waited! <br /><br />All of my children have grown to be such amazing young adults. My oldest 2 are in the Navy, and both are working toward being officers. My youngest, a daughter, is an RN at a local hospital. She is married to an amazing young man. I'm proud of them all. They have such great hearts to serve others, and they are strong people. <br /><br />I am so thankful I was able to be there for my kids during their years of growing up and not trying to deal with all the adjustments of a new marriage. Please keep telling parents not to remarry when they have minor children. I know I do. It is not what they hear from tv commercials, movies, songs on the radio, or well-meaning friends and family. <br /><br />As for me, I started dating, once my kids were adults. <br /><br />Thanks again, and I know my kids thank you too! <br /><br />Jeannie<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-02-17T18:59:00Z
My New Attitude
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-New-Attitude/-846730166589036591.html
2015-02-13T18:59:00Z
2015-02-13T18:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />My tip for staying happy at work... <br /><br />It was a nice summer Saturday at work. I called dispatch from my last stop to make sure I was done for the day. I then called my wife to make plans to go out. I got back to the yard, dropped the trailer, parked the tractor, did my paperwork, put my stuff away in my locker, then went into the office and gave my paperwork to the dispatcher. He said, "I got another pick up for you to make." I was steaming under my breath, ready to tell him off and go home, but instead I took the assignment, got my stuff, and went to drive the tractor I had parked in the tight spot. Unfortunately, I hit the rear tire of the truck parked next to me, taking the lower step off the gas tank. I was about to explode when I realized could not afford to have anger problems at work. So I changed my attitude. I began to look at going to work just for the fun of it and something I happened to get paid to do. <br /><br />I never had a problem going to work after that day. <br /><br />Gary</p>
Staff
2015-02-13T18:59:00Z
Letting Go of Control
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Letting-Go-of-Control/-200657979644548785.html
2015-02-12T18:59:00Z
2015-02-12T18:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />I NEVER considered myself to be a "controlling" spouse; however, many times, my wonderful husband of 41 years would comment on something I had said or done, saying I had control issues. I am very organized and like to be in charge of things, but never did I call myself controlling. <br /><br />Two years ago, I was listening to you and a caller, and finally the light bulb came on!! Yes, I WAS DEFINITELY a controlling person. I had a horrible and abusive childhood. The caller had also been abused. You explained as long as the caller remained in control, they couldn't be hurt again -- in so many words. Therefore, I felt I HAD to remain in control, that way no one could hurt me to the extent I had been hurt before. <br /><br />I then told my husband I indeed needed to be in control and explained to him why. Tears rolled down his face. He looked at me lovingly, relieved and said "Thank you". What I looked at as being "organized" etc., was in truth being controlling, and my husband stayed by my side all these many years. <br /><br />I continually catch myself to "let go" of that control, and for the most part am being pretty successful. It does sneak back in every now and then, but I remind myself I don't need it because my wonderful loving husband protects me. Yes, he would swim through shark infested waters for me, even though he cannot swim! I'm only sorry it took all these years for that light bulb to come on. And yes, it does actually feel good to take a step back and let others "be in control". <br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Carol </p>
Staff
2015-02-12T18:59:00Z
Don't All Moms Stay at Home?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dont-All-Moms-Stay-at-Home/-81241839091106979.html
2015-02-11T18:59:00Z
2015-02-11T18:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I started listening to you 2 years ago, when I purchased a car with Sirius radio. I stumbled upon your show as I was coming home from work I am a teacher, and have been hooked since. <br /><br />My mother was a stay-at-home mom, as was her mom. As a child, I knew no different and assumed that ALL MOMS stayed home with their kids. I always thought I would do the same. It was only when I got older that I realized a lot of women actually WORK right after they give birth and that many women put their children in a stranger's hands at as little as 6 WEEKS OLD. I am a teacher and when I finally REALLY THOUGHT about the negative impact has on kids, I was disgusted. I see the effects of it every day in my classroom. The kids are argumentative, have little to no manners, constantly fight, and say mean things to each other and adults without even thinking. It is truly a struggle. <br /><br />When I first started listening to your show, my fiancé, thought you were old fashioned and too conservative! His mother worked and he was raised in day care. He thought this is how everyone did things. I began telling him your solutions to other people's problems. We discussed at length your opinions and mine on stay-at-home moms. You inspired discussions between us before we got engaged that we would never have had without you. He now understands my plan to stay home with our kids and is fully prepared to support us while I raise our children. I could not be happier. <br /><br />I constantly face people who don't understand why I would ever want to stop working when I have kids. I regularly get questions like, "Won't you miss adult interaction," "Why would you give up your life to stay home?" and "Won't you get bored doing nothing?" I laugh out loud at the last one. It's hard work, and I know this from watching my own mother. Because of you, Dr. Laura, I now have the courage to defend my choice to stay home. I make no excuses for my choice and am proud to say I will be my kids' mom. Whenever I have doubts, I always reflect on the strong connection I had with my mother, which will stay with me forever. <br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, for all that you do. <br /><br />Kelilah</p>
Staff
2015-02-11T18:59:00Z
Saving My Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Saving-My-Marriage/-424681092411131278.html
2015-02-10T18:59:00Z
2015-02-10T18:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />I married at 18, something you discourage. My high school boyfriend was joining the Army, and I "loved" him, so I had to follow him. <br /><br />The first four years of our marriage were hell. We literally hated each other, and had we lived in the same state as our parents, we would have divorced very easily. I was smart enough to refuse to get pregnant because our marriage was so unstable. <br /><br />In 1995, I happened on a co-worker listening to your program. I thought you were completely wrong with your opinions, but I continued to listen. Things started to click and make sense. I began to employ your advice, and my husband also started to listen to your show as well. We started going to church, and a marriage headed for divorce became wonderfully new. <br /><br />We waited four years from that first show to have our first child, after being married seven years. I was a stay-at-home mom to my son. After 15 years of marriage, we had our second child - It's hard to get pregnant when your husband is always deployed. I was a stay-at-home mom to my daughter. <br /><br />This year we have been married 23 years. He is the love of my life, and he shows me every day that I am his. I waited a long time, but THANK YOU so much. You not only were instrumental in saving my marriage to an amazing man, but you saved me from a life of misery, and blaming others for my own mistakes. <br /><br />Angela <br /><br /><br />P.S. My 16-year-old son absolutely loves your program which thrills me. For his birthday, I bought him "Ten Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives" and "How Could You Do That?" You not only have been an inspiration for our family, but you were the catalyst for there even being a family today. I am amazingly blessed, and it is no small part to accidentally overhearing your show one day. Thank you Dr. Laura, and God Bless!</p>
Staff
2015-02-10T18:59:00Z
Bringing the Affection and Passion Back
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bringing-the-Affection-and-Passion-Back/182989368379268650.html
2015-02-09T18:59:00Z
2015-02-09T18:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />I just started listening to your book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". I felt for some time the passion in our relationship was not there and I often wondered if my husband was really happy with me. After hearing the first two chapters of your book, I realize the problems are with me. <br /><br />We were married 10 years before having a child and I didn't think anything would change our relationship, but a lot changed after our daughter was born. She became the center of our lives and is clearly the most important person in our family. I was not a wife first and then a mother. Also, my parents passed away two years ago, and for some reason I couldn't talk about my feelings to my husband, my best friend. I was crabby, sometimes an outright bitch, and I began to shut him out. <br /><br />We used to be so passionate with each other, even in public. But that is not the case anymore and I know it is because of me: my selfishness and lack of affection and sex. He has focused on me and what I want in bed, but I have sacrificed very little. Too often, I thought of myself first. <br /><br />I have taken the advice from your book. When he comes home, I give him a big smile, kiss and hug. I snuggle with him while watching TV, which he has expressed he likes. I praise him on what a great daddy he is and that makes him happy. <br /><br />When we were on our way to getting married and we couldn't stop touching each other. I never imagined we wouldn't still be that way 20 years later. I look forward to reading more in your book on how to love him the way he should be loved and bring the affection and passion back in our relationship. <br /><br />Thank you, <br /><br />Michelle</p>
Staff
2015-02-09T18:59:00Z
He Is My Hero
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Is-My-Hero/18117167610674999.html
2015-02-06T18:59:00Z
2015-02-06T18:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />The moment I met him and looked into those beautiful blue eyes and said to myself, "I'm going to marry this guy someday." And I did. We have had way too much fun and times of sorrow, when I didn't think we'd make it. Now, the thought of one day without him, scares me. He is my hero. <br /><br />He has loved me when I truly did not deserve to be loved. He has forgiven my many mistakes and has celebrated all of my victories. He is an involved and loving husband and father. He has worked every day of our marriage to provide for me and give me stability, which is something I never had. It was never an argument about what we would do when we had children. I've had the pleasure of being a stay-at-home mom to our 3 kids who are now 22, 16, and 12. <br /><br />This September will be our 25th wedding anniversary, and although the road has had some bumps, it has been worth every second. I will be my husband's girlfriend for as long as time allows. <br /><br />You are truly an inspiration, Dr. Laura. <br /><br />Thank you,<br /><br />Jen</p>
Staff
2015-02-06T18:59:00Z
Children Do Know When Mom Is Being Abused
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Children-Do-Know-When-Mom-Is-Being-Abused/257066434254559237.html
2015-02-05T18:59:00Z
2015-02-05T18:59:00Z
<br />
<p>Recently, I heard 2 calls with moms arguing with you and saying their kids don't know there is abuse going on. Thank you for what you do!! <br /><br />I was in one of those marriages and left 14 years ago. I truly thought my babies, who were 5 and 3, had no idea. Their dad was always careful to not display anger in front of them; he would just give me a look and I knew what to expect when I put them to bed. <br /><br />When I finally got the courage to leave, I sat them down and explained we had to move to another house and daddy wouldn't be living in our house anymore. The first thing my 5-year-old said was, "Good. So Daddy can't yell and make you cry anymore?" Unbeknownst to me, they would get out of bed and sit outside our closed bedroom door to make sure I was okay. I am still tear up thinking about this; I truly felt I had protected them from all of it. <br /><br />My babies are nearly grown and thankfully they are well-adjusted, sweet, giving and strong young ladies. Thanks to your advice, I have kept them surrounded by people who love them. Also, I have used every opportunity to impress upon them that not only are you picking a husband, but a daddy for your future children. And I tell them he needs to be willing to swim through shark-infested waters for you. These were things I was never taught, so I believe I'll have some awesome son-in-laws someday. <br /><br />Thank you and please don't stop being hard on people!! Most of us were never taught to put so much weight on our decisions! <br /><br />Raeanne</p>
Staff
2015-02-05T18:59:00Z
Homeschooling Mama
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Homeschooling-Mama/-434139304051769468.html
2015-02-04T18:59:00Z
2015-02-04T18:59:00Z
<br />
<p>I can't wait to buy my kids' homeschool curriculum for each coming year. It's like being a kid again and reliving Christmas! <br /><br />Last year, I saved our money and spent the summer purchasing materials for our Vikings and Middle Ages studies. I literally got giddy anticipating surprising my husband with projects to do with the kids. He loved reading about Genghis Khan to them, or building a Viking ship. <br /><br />This summer I will be prepping for family field trips, literature, games, puzzles, crafts and more for a whole year of American history through 1850. When the materials arrive and we see our kids' eyes light up with the excitement of learning, nothing beats it. <br /><br />Making these plans and seeing them come to fruition in such a rewarding way is perhaps only beat by the delivery day of each of our babies, particularly after months and months of morning sickness. <br /><br />Jane </p>
Staff
2015-02-04T18:59:00Z
Marry the Nice Guy!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Marry-the-Nice-Guy!/-187189508315068315.html
2015-02-03T18:59:00Z
2015-02-03T18:59:00Z
<br />
<p>Good Afternoon Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have the pleasure of listening to your show every afternoon on my XM radio. I ADORE your advice and so does my husband. <br /><br />I am very traditional and was lucky to grow up in a household where my parents have been married for 30 years and are still in love. I always wanted what they have. Through the good and bad, they always seemed to work it out because they loved each other. This is something that is uncommon today. <br /><br />I was an art student and went to a school where feminism was a thing and many women tried to convince me not to marry. When I was 21, I met a guy that shared common interests with me and wanted to have a future together. Many of my friends thought I shouldn't settle down and instead date many other men. I realize now that by dating the nice guy and giving him a chance, I am truly happy. We have been together for 6 years and married for 2 years. Yes Dr. Laura, I married the nice guy and I am so happy! <br /><br />Now, many of my friends who are single are trying online dating or searching to find someone soon as they are approaching 30. They are all beautiful and have had offers to date nice guys, who are employed and would take care of them, but they continue to search for Mr. Right when he is right there in front of them. Maybe I got lucky at a young age, but my best advice is to go for the nice guys because one day they will all be taken. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Seneca </p>
Staff
2015-02-03T18:59:00Z
Parent Your Children Until They Are Out of the House
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parent-Your-Children-Until-They-Are-Out-of-the-House/555744866572334499.html
2015-02-02T18:59:00Z
2015-02-02T18:59:00Z
<br />
<p>Ten years ago, when my children were four and seven, my husband left for work and was killed in a car accident. It changed my world as I knew it. I don't remember much from that day, but I do remember sitting at the family dining room table with friends surrounding me and saying out loud, "My children's lives will not be ruined by this!" I dug my heels in, my grief was immense, and I was scared to death, but I got out of bed every day and walked my children into school with my head held high. <br /><br />I was lucky those first couple of years. Between life insurance and social security for my children, I was able to stay at home. Then I worked part time while my kids were in school. <br /><br />I tuned into your show one day and I heard you say that after a divorce or death, a parent should raise their children and not involve a boyfriend or girlfriend until the kids are no longer minors and out of the house. You reaffirmed that what I had been doing was right. <br /><br />It has been ten years and my kids and I are a good solid family of three. They have not had to grow up and share me with anyone, and they knew if they had something going on, I was going to be there. I think a lot of people in my town wonder why I have not dated. I've heard people say, "Oh she just doesn't think she can replace her husband because he was such a good man." This couldn't be further from the truth. My children mean the world to me, and I look forward with some sadness, but much happiness that they will soon be living a good, responsible, moral adult life because I have given them a solid base. <br /><br />As for me -- I am a strong, capable, loving woman. I am in a good place and it will help me choose a good man. I will never, ever regret the sacrifices I have made. So many women think they need to have a man to make them feel good, but nothing feels better than making good choices for the sake of your children and watching them flourish because of it! <br /><br />Chris</p>
Staff
2015-02-02T18:59:00Z
What is a Mother?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-is-a-Mother/-533236699055608228.html
2015-01-30T18:59:00Z
2015-01-30T18:59:00Z
<br />
<p>Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just came across this poem I wrote as a teenager. I am so grateful I always had my mom as a role-model for what a mother should be. <br /><br /></p>
<blockquote><strong>What is a Mother </strong><br /><br />A mother is a verb, not a noun<br /><br />A mother sacrifices her world to ensure her children never have to sacrifice their childhoods<br /><br />A mother knows that building character is much more difficult than achieving a friendship<br /><br />And she teaches you to build your character anyways<br /><br />A mother must endure years of seemingly ungrateful and unrewarded work<br /><br />But she is wise enough to understand the importance of the long-term outcome<br /><br />A mother knows that ultimately raising a successful human means making sure they are independent adults<br /><br />But her actions still allow them to be dependent on her when they are children.<br /><br />A mother knows that to recognize what a person values most in life, you look at where they spend their time<br /><br />And she doesn't look back <br /><br /></blockquote>
On a side note, I am my daughter's mother 24/7 days a week and my husband's wife! There is no better job in the world. <br /><br />Thanks for your time, <br /><br />Tova
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-01-30T18:59:00Z
Homeschool is the Way to Go
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Homeschool-is-the-Way-to-Go/-348174095939357952.html
2015-01-29T18:59:00Z
2015-01-29T18:59:00Z
<br />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Usually I just love listening to the emails being read, but this was too close to home that I had to send a quick email about my thoughts on public school vs. homeschooling. <br /><br />First of all, I AM AN EDUCATOR. I have dedicated more than half of my life to education. I have taught for 13 years in 2nd, 3rd, or 5th grade. I have obtained a Master's Degree and several additional endorsements. <br /><br />I have enjoyed teaching up until the last few years when the government mandated the "One Size Fits ALL!" B.S. in education. Yes, that is what it is B.S! I will be the first one to say homeschooling is the way to go for anyone. But as I write this email, I need to make it clear this is what I see in my little neck of the woods in my district. States with more money may see things differently. I have been frustrated with the school system long enough to realize the programs that are in place for our students are not in the best interest of the children. I have seen our state and district "dumb" kids down and expect less and less of the students so they can say "Wow! Look how "smart" are kids are! They are all on a 60-70% average!" <br /><br />I find that even after my own children are in school for 6-7 hours per day, I am STILL supplementing them with my time, money, and resources to make sure they challenged and successful in school. All in all, if I am spending more time re-teaching and challenging my daughter and making sure my son is given the correct and best opportunities for him, they may as well stay at home--that would simply save everyone time and stress, including my children. HOMESCHOOLING IS THE WAY TO GO FOR ANYONE CONSIDERING IT! <br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />A Teacher</p>
Staff
2015-01-29T18:59:00Z
Wife of Disabled Vet
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Wife-of-Disabled-Vet/-230067763532233827.html
2015-01-28T18:59:00Z
2015-01-28T18:59:00Z
<br />
<p>I want to thank you for your support of disable vets. I hear wives calling everyday complaining about their husbands and how mistreated they feel. I am married to the most amazing man who is the best husband and wonderful father to our 2 daughters. He served during Desert Storm and came back both sick and injured. He is 100% disabled and unemployable. I am his primary care taker and would have it no other way. I have loved this man for 35 years and would never stop or throw him away. I am thankful for his love of family and country. <br /><br />I wish other women would appreciate their husbands. You never know what can happen. <br /><br />Anne</p>
Staff
2015-01-28T18:59:00Z
Priceless Parenting Memories
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Priceless-Parenting-Memories/-715321995996149364.html
2015-01-26T18:59:00Z
2015-01-26T18:59:00Z
<br />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />When I got married a quarter century ago, I had a life plan in my head. I'd be a career woman like my mother and her mother and my mother-in-law AND then I'd also be a mom. In my head, based on all the advertising and media I'd seen, I could bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan, or so that popular slogan went. <br /><br />After my husband and I had a baby girl, I remember looking down at her sleeping in the crib and getting all choked up with my tears flowing. "WOW! This tiny human being is depending upon me to be her mom." In that moment, I realized life was no longer about me. It was about this little baby. Now her needs would come before my own, while I would learn to serve and take the back seat. <br /><br />Back in the 80's and 90's, Baby Boomers were parenting throughout a tidal wave of materialism that flooded the media and influenced our culture and if both parents worked full-time, you could have more. In the years that followed, I'd deflect the pressures from women around me who insisted I put my daughter in day care so I could "contribute" to society in a full-time job. They'd make disparaging remarks. And even though this was the voice of our culture at the time, in my heart, I knew that raising my daughter had to a top priority. I got confirmation of this when my daughter was 2 years old and I happened upon one of your broadcasts. You were explaining your stance on parenting. And when I heard you say, "I am my kid's mom" I realized that it wasn't just a few of us making parenting a priority. You were there proclaiming the truth to the masses: That parenting takes sacrifice and sacrifice is hard work and the hard work of parenting is priceless. <br /><br />When my daughter got a little older, I took stock of all my skills and looked for flexible work I could do while she was in school or I'd take jobs where she could be with me. While I didn't climb the corporate ladder, I accepted work teaching swimming and ice-skating, writing articles for publication, etc. Nothing glamourous, like I had originally imagined pre-family, but I was always right there whenever my daughter needed me. When my daughter's high school graduation day arrived, I knew I had given her my everything. In a blink of an eye, my child-rearing responsibility was 'poof' - done. I had sacrificed, did the hard work, gave all my love and time. I had no regrets and a treasure trove of precious parenting memories... Now that's priceless. Thank you for being that voice of clarity! <br /><br />Respectfully, <br /><br />Rebecca <br /><br />I'm my two kids' mom ten years apart in age. Care for my children like I tend to food on my plate...gotta finish one serving before I tend to another.</p>
Staff
2015-01-26T18:59:00Z
The Horrors of the Feminist Movement
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Horrors-of-the-Feminist-Movement/146666472131236640.html
2015-01-23T18:59:00Z
2015-01-23T18:59:00Z
<br />
<p>Dear Dr Laura, <br /><br />I recently learned my husband and I are expecting our 3rd child next summer. I joined a birth club group on a popular pregnancy website to hear of others' experiences. Recently, I stumbled on a post of a 24-year-old complaining of her family's reaction to her decision to purposely get pregnant by a man she was not dating or intended to marry. She believed at 24, she was financially and emotionally stable enough to provide for a baby and a father wasn't needed. However, her family was not supportive and she was appalled by their judgments. Obviously, she's now looking for sympathy from strangers online. <br /><br />The feminist movement has unfortunately taught young women like her that men are not needed. Having a father doesn't need to be a birthright. Farming your child out to hired help is ok. I responded rather harsh, but a point needed to be made. I said: "You've made an extremely selfish decision to have a baby without a dad. Who cares if you are established? And now you are upset because people pass judgment. I feel bad for your child." Keep up the hard work, Dr, Laura. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Natasha</p>
Staff
2015-01-23T18:59:00Z
Lemons Into Lemonade
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lemons-Into-Lemonade/-96433692471389692.html
2015-01-22T18:59:00Z
2015-01-22T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />These last several months have been very difficult for me. We moved from California (the place I love) to Washington State, so our kids could be close to grandparents, aunts, uncles and other family. When we first decided to move, we decided to give up some adult joys so we could give our kids a better life, so we naively expected it to go pretty smoothly. My husband got what we thought was a better job. Unfortunately, that's when things went the opposite of "smoothly," and everything that could go wrong did.<br /><br />I focused on some things you've said on your show, and while life isn't better yet, my attitude is. I'm working out, meeting friends, and making a peaceful home for my husband through his work struggles, while keeping our kids as happy as possible. I've decided that even though life isn't going my way, it could be a lot worse. <br /><br />Please keep doing what you're doing because it has made a big difference in how people like me approach the temporary storms that life seems to throw us.<br /><br />Delilah<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2015-01-22T18:59:00Z
No More Seeds of Resentment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-More-Seeds-of-Resentment/205032089434352475.html
2015-01-22T18:59:00Z
2015-01-22T18:59:00Z
<br />
<p>Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just finished reading, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands," and started "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage," but had to stop to thank you. I am a wife and a stay-at-home mom. I've been getting up before 5am to read and it's made all the difference in the world. I've spent a few mornings balling my eyes out, feeling saddened by the pain I have and could have caused my marriage and husband, had I let the seeds of resentment flourish in time. <br /><br />We observe Shabbat and Fridays have always been considered TGIFF Thank G-d Its Forgiveness Friday. Before Sundown we look into each other's eyes and ask forgiveness and offer forgiveness, as needed. Following the wisdom from your book, however, I have been given sober judgment. It's been amazing to see my husband's eyes melt and soften when I confess and apologize to him the many ways I have neglected him and not cared for him. If that's not enough, you've equipped me with the 3 A's, which I usually incorporate into a blessing that I speak to him over dinner. That's just a little of what's happened because of you.... <br /><br />During the rest of the week, my heart is happy! My actions are directed and my love is powerful! Our home is happier, homier and hornier than ever!! I am learning to be a thermostat, rather than a thermometer! <br /><br />You are a blessing. You are a life saver. And my husband and I are eternally grateful for you. The word Shalom in ancient Hebrew is depicted as one who devours chaos... Thank you for showing me how to bring Shalom in my home! <br /><br />Many blessings, <br /><br />Amanda<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-01-22T18:59:00Z
A Mom and a Dad - It All Makes Sense
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Mom-and-a-Dad---It-All-Makes-Sense/859232569930966714.html
2015-01-21T18:59:00Z
2015-01-21T18:59:00Z
<br />
<p>I'm a good mom, but I'm the mom. I have a 16-year-old son and our life has been turned upside down by a girl. Her parents seem to have very loose rules for her. The most common words out of my son's mouth are, "If her parents don't care, why do you?" I hear this over and over. <br /><br />Back to me being the mom. I played tons of games and sports that I care nothing about, I helped with homework, made snacks, cleaned clothes, took him to church, hugged him and have done all of the mom stuff. <br /><br />I even had the nerve to complain to my husband that he was too tough on our son. How dare I do that? I completely begged my husband for forgiveness for all the years that I made these comments. You see our life has been turned upside down and now it's my husband who keeps our testosterone driven child in check. It doesn't faze my husband, when our son says he can't wait to leave or that he will fail out of school if he doesn't get his way. My husband has been a rock. I have seen a complete shift in the family dynamic. I know things will settle down and my boy will have other girlfriends, but I totally respect the toughness "my man" has shown. There was always a reason for it. <br /><br />Michele</p>
Staff
2015-01-21T18:59:00Z
I'm a Professional Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-a-Professional-Mom/-517629738699384010.html
2015-01-20T18:59:00Z
2015-01-20T18:59:00Z
<br />
<p>Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Today, my youngest daughter, dropped off her 2- and 4-year-olds with me. I already was looking after my 6-year-old grandkid. After she left we opened the kids' Christmas presents from the other side of the family, played with toys, read books and then took a long walk. When we returned home, I was exhausted. I had pulled the two younger ones in a wagon. <br /><br />I started to prepare lunch for them, when I noticed the two lunch boxes, inside was the most organized and nutritional lunches! Much to my surprise I was very glad to see this as I really wasn't that prepared! Then I had this thought about my daughter. She is an amazing mother, wife, daughter and she's pregnant with their third child. She loves taking care of her family. Her husband is a police officer and a great husband, father and provider. When I looked at the packed lunches, I thought to myself, she is a professional mom. The more I thought about this, stay-at-home mom is a great title, but if someone was to ask her what do you do for a living, I thought a great response would be "I am a professional mom"! After all, being a real mom takes great ingenuity, patience, insight, forethought, planning, investigation, timing, budgeting, the ability to multitask, and every other kind of skill on a moment's notice, all without ever taking a vacation or sick day. I know a lot of professional moms that do what they do and look fantastic while doing it, I am in awe of them. You can see how much they love it, as do their families. I was a professional mom as well, but I can't say I was that organized and I lived in sweats, but it was the best thing I ever did. I loved it. <br /><br />Keep up the great work! Thanks for all you do and I can't wait for you to become a grandparent, it is the icing on the cake! <br /><br />Alana</p>
Staff
2015-01-20T18:59:00Z
Paying the Price Emotionally
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Paying-the-Price-Emotionally/132481306554018665.html
2015-01-19T18:59:00Z
2015-01-19T18:59:00Z
<br />
<p>I write this not for advice, but to serve as a warning to others. <br /><br />"If you don't grow together, you will grow apart." There is much truth in song lyrics. I have made poor decisions in my life, particularly in the choice of my mate. We dated for over two years after I proposed. I thought I knew her; however, there were big clues shortly after I proposed that I overlooked. We have now passed the 40 year mark in our marriage, and I often wonder why I married at all. <br /><br />There has been no intimacy for well over 15 years. We have been sleeping in separate rooms for a number of years. I told her I cannot be in bed with a woman who I cannot touch. I have looked at the options. I talked to an attorney, but at the present time, divorce is out of the question. I would lose most of what I have worked for. She has been a stay-at-home mother for almost all of our marriage. And I will not pay for the services of a prostitute. <br /><br />I have found a lovely woman with whom I communicate by email. She knows the family and has seen firsthand the situation I am in. We only see each other in group situations and there has not been any intimacy of any kind. I consider this woman my best friend, probably my only friend. I want a wife, not a business partner or housemate. I want someone I am able to hold close to me. Unfortunately, my wife and I have not grown together, but continue to grow apart. <br /><br />Please choose your mate wisely. I did not and I am paying the price emotionally. <br /><br />Junior</p>
Staff
2015-01-19T18:59:00Z
Public Schools Are Failing Our Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Public-Schools-Are-Failing-Our-Kids/683342587931634369.html
2015-01-16T18:59:00Z
2015-01-16T18:59:00Z
<br />
<p>I homeschooled our son K-12; well, actually 10th grade as he graduated early. After, I've been tutoring students, mostly middle school and upper elementary, for the last 10 years. First, I have seen amazing, dedicated teachers who put their heart and soul into their kids. I was one, too. One year, I had 30 5th graders. Six could not read beyond 2nd grade level; I had no time to help them. Another 8 were bright and ready for 8th grade; I could not help them. I had to teach to the middle kids. Dr. Laura, it is like having 30 children of your own. How could you possibly attend to them all? <br /><br />Then there are the teachers who are not dedicated. When I volunteered in a middle school, I heard again and again, from the teachers: "I am not going to help the kids after school. That is not MY job." "I am not going to come to that meeting. That is not MY job." It was a very self-oriented, self-protective situation, not at all centered first on the students. And it was disgusting.Problem #3 - The schools get federal money for things like lunches and breakfasts, so they work hard to get as many kids to sign up for the federally funded things as they can: free lunches, Special Ed; Reading pull-out; ESL and language help.Problem #4 - Common Core has exacerbated what was already bad. The curriculum is spread thin over many inane, irrelevant subjects. It is dumbed down because it is federal rather than specific for the school and student. The goal is to 'make it relevant to real life' but instead of learning concepts, they need to learn concrete calculations, which are tools for real life. School districts need to be locally controlled and the curriculum needs to be designed by the citizens for THEIR children. The districts need to be accountable for the money they spend. <br /><br />I have more to say, but will start with this. I would homeschool again.<br /><br />Betty</p>
Staff
2015-01-16T18:59:00Z
Value of Home-Cooked Meals Discovered by Feminists
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Value-of-Home-Cooked-Meals-Discovered-by-Feminists/-210569997051070546.html
2015-01-15T18:59:00Z
2015-01-15T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />My radio was tuned to a "feminista" host interviewing the author of a cookbook promoting the virtues of having home cooked meals with the family. It really reminded me of the training that most women got from the Betty Crocker cookbook and home economics classes on basic cooking skills prior to the women's liberation movement in the 1970's. They were discussing strategies on getting their teenage children involved in preparing and eating home cooked meals. <br /><br />They were also discussing how this "revolutionary" cookbook could bring families together. As a first step, they suggested having one family meal together a week. I was mentally shouting at them, "Your children's values reflect those you taught them by the age of eight. You can't wake up when they are sixteen and expect something different. If you don't value home cooked meals and sharing meals with your children when they are five, you can't be surprised they don't value home cooked meals and sharing meals with you when they are teenagers. <br /><br />This brings me to my definition of "values". A person's values are measured solely by where they spend their time and money. Lips may flap in the wind, but the true measure of values can be objectively tracked how people spend their time and money. If you spend all of your time at work while not having time to nurture your children, then your career is more important than your children. Your children aren't that important. If you don't have time for your spouse, then your spouse is not that important. Don't be surprised to discover that when you are too busy to be involved in the life of others, you later discover they are too busy to be involved with you. As a side note, my wife was a stay-at-home mommy. Since we live in a relatively affluent area where most of their classmates lived in dual income families, we knew they would eventually try the "but Bobby has..." manipulation. Before they ever met Bobby, we told them different families have different ways of doing things. <br /><br />Gary
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-01-15T18:59:00Z
You Were My Guide
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Were-My-Guide/247801401372765536.html
2015-01-14T18:59:00Z
2015-01-14T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dearest Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I spent the first 40 years of my life selfishly living only for career success and material gain. I was a radical feminist, and had no understanding at all of relationships. When I got pregnant out of wedlock, I thought nothing of aborting "it." "It" was inconvenient. I treated men as if they existed to serve me and my agenda. <br /><br />Then I stumbled on your show 20 years ago, and I thought you were smart, but nuts. But I couldn't stop listening, and slowly but surely, you altered my brain chemistry completely. For the first time in my life, I grasped what morals and ethics were and I wanted to have them. I wanted to live for someone else, but it was very late in the game. Then an old college boyfriend reached out, and we reconnected. I realized what a good man I had callously thrown away many years ago, and I realized that producing a baby myself was not a good plan. We married and then adopted a baby boy at birth. I became a stay-at-home mom and while it was uncomfortable at first, you were there to always guide me.<br /><br />My little baby boy is now 15 years old and I get to say "I am my kid's mom" and "my husband's girlfriend." My life was a train wreck until I found you, Dr. Laura. To this day, I am a faithful, grateful listener. Thank you for your clarity, guidance, and wisdom.<br /><br />With much love,<br /><br />Nancy<br />
Staff
2015-01-14T18:59:00Z
Mothers Love Your Bodies!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mothers-Love-Your-Bodies!/488009498151247349.html
2015-01-14T18:59:00Z
2015-01-14T18:59:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />I hear a lot of mothers and even fathers, talk about how having babies has destroyed their or their spouse's bodies. Before I became pregnant someone told me, "Don't have a baby, babies ruin your body!" <br /><br />It has been over a year since my son came into the world and began his life, and my body still carries proof of his existence. I have dark pools under my eyes. A valley where my belly button once was. Good with a new amplitude that my 20-year-old self wouldn't recognize. Lines mapped across the mountains of skin, proving I once was too small to contain all of the love that filled me. Do you realize the significance in that? Every limb, finger, toe... his heart even developed near the very place my own heart beats inside my chest. Those lines on my skin are all I have left to prove that we were once one and not two. How can I be ashamed of that? <br /><br />I have so much to say about seeing his eyes under the brows of my own. I see my ancestors and myself as a child every time he looks up at me. Not much makes me feel more beautiful than seeing tiny renditions of my features on my son and realizing how special they are. My body grew that. Not everyone has that privilege. Sure my belly is a bit softer nowadays, but the way it moves when I jump up and down sends my son into fits of laughter. And yeah, my hips are hardly as narrow as they used to be, but they know the perfect figure 8 motion to sway him to sleep. My hair is starting to gray, but not much makes him giggle like the tickle of it on his face. <br /><br />I'm not something flawless in the eyes of society, or even close to what I once was physically, but my perfect boy sees me for who I am. To him I hang the moon. He knows my heart. He knew it long before we met. And he loves me. I cannot tell you how much worth and validation I feel because of that truth. My body is only a vessel for my spirit. An incredible vessel that allowed me an incredible gift, my son. My body is full of life. My body is powerful. My body made me a mother. If anything, I was ruined by the world before I knew him, and he made me whole again. <br /><br />Rachelle</p>
Staff
2015-01-14T18:59:00Z
I Love Her As She Is
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Love-Her-As-She-Is/-779472630833265345.html
2015-01-13T18:59:00Z
2015-01-13T18:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Thank you for your recent insightful <a href="https://www.facebook.com/drlaura/" target="_blank">Facebook post</a> which said "Love the child you have, not the child you wish you had." This has been such a help to me in dealing with a grown daughter with Asperger's.<br /><br />She's smart, sweet and well educated, with a degree in music from a top conservatory. However, she has very few social skills and can be difficult when a lot of people are around and she wants my undivided attention. This is stressful for me when we have family and friends over and she's included. She can be difficult at other times as well.<br /><br />I find I repeat your post in my head many times, and this enables me to deal with our daughter with patience and love, even when I feel at wit's end. It gets me through the moment and I can smile and look at this lovely young woman and unconditionally love her as she IS, not as I wish she was. I sincerely thank you.<br /><br />Jodi <br />
Staff
2015-01-13T18:59:00Z
I'm So Glad I Married Him
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-So-Glad-I-Married-Him/-163740058666457357.html
2015-01-13T18:59:00Z
2015-01-13T18:59:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I've been listening to you since 1996 when I was 15 in the Bay Area on summer vacations with my grandmother. I partly attribute my outlook on my education and getting THREE full music scholarships to different universities because I didn't focus on dating or stupidity in high school. Thanks to you, by the way!! <br /><br />My husband and I have been married for 10 years. My husband is AMAZING!!! I knew he had a mild form of epilepsy when we married after graduating college. I knew, going into our marriage, it would be a different life if he had a seizure and couldn't drive for weeks or months. I was willing to marry him anyway, and I'm glad I did. <br /><br />Three years into our marriage, he had a new kind of seizure and he had to undergo an emergency brain surgery to remove a cyst that was putting pressure on his brain. Since then, he has dealt with a more drastic form of epilepsy that, at one point, caused him to have a seizure that broke 4 vertebrae in his back. Just from seizing, not from falling! <br /><br />My husband has never felt sorry for himself - never given in to depression that can sometimes come because of the chemical imbalances in his brain. It bothers him he can't work like a "normal" man and I have to be the breadwinner. But he is a MAN in every sense of the word. In August 2013, he had two more brain surgeries in hopes of eliminating his epilepsy completely. So far, that hasn't been successful, but, again, he has pushed through with a great attitude and a smile on his oh-so-handsome face. We would love to have children, but we realize they aren't for us. It would not be fair to a child to come into our lives when we can't guarantee an at-home parent. <br /><br />We love each other and our two "dog"ters, and sometimes live on an incredibly tight budget. We are friends, lovers, and, most importantly, the single most significant person in each other's lives. With the form of epilepsy he has now, I would choose to marry him again. Through everything medically I've faced with him, I would never trade my marriage with him for any other stud on earth. Thank you, Dr. Laura, for your advice and helping me be the best WOMAN I can be for my MAN. <br /><br />Warm regards, <br /><br />Leslie <br /><br />P.S. - When you recently made a lady sing "God Bless the USA," telling her the power of music in positive thinking, I was listening in the shower and almost slipped and broke my neck due to my jumping for joy! MUSIC IS LIFE!</p>
Staff
2015-01-13T18:59:00Z
My Unselfish Stay-at-Home Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Unselfish-Stay-at-Home-Mom/741009542281996339.html
2015-01-12T18:59:00Z
2015-01-12T18:59:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />It bothers me how stupid and selfish so many women are today. I had one of the greatest moms ever. I was the last of eight children and my mom stayed home to raise every one of us. We were lucky she was not poisoned by feminist nonsense. And yes, you guessed it, we were deprived of many material things and could be considered to be poor. We were not poor in spirit, but we did struggle. Dad worked as a laborer, making just enough money to keep a roof over our heads with light and heat. We survived on hand-me-down clothing from neighborhood families, and a benevolent Jewish grocer who allowed my mother to buy food on credit. We were on our own in getting college educations - five of us did. <br /><br />Dad supplemented his income as a drummer in a small band. And Mother made a little money as the church organist and music director. The 1940 Census listed her as a homemaker. And that was her most important job with so many children. Even in poverty she gave to other poor people. <br /><br />There are ways to survive, but you have to be willing to be unselfish. We did it. We earned money as soon as we were old enough. If you have a close knit and loving family, with a mother at home holding down the fort, it is surprising how good life can be. I am not saying it was perfect. You get accustomed to making sacrifices. And we learned to prepare for the future knowing we had to work for what we needed and wanted. We couldn't afford a turkey for Thanksgiving or Christmas, but we had plenty to eat except for those complaining times when my mother told us to fill up on bread. There are worse things than poverty especially if there is no love in the home or a child raised by strangers. I would live my life all over again if I had to. When I think of the word mom, I think of my mom, my wife and her sister. All three were real moms because they raised their children themselves and then pursued careers.<br /><br />Stan<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-01-12T18:59:00Z
Why My Birds Are Smarter Than Many Women
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-My-Birds-Are-Smarter-Than-Many-Women/-71733913155474208.html
2015-01-09T18:59:00Z
2015-01-09T18:59:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />My female bird will not have anything to do with a male until he woos her. He must sing, dance, and bring her bits of food before she will even notice him. He must be an active participant in the nest building, and he must do so with gusto. If he finds something to incorporate into the nest, he will fly around with it in his beak, showing off to his female, as if to say, "Look at this magnificent piece of string I have found for our home!" She must insure that the male will be a good partner for what lies ahead. <br /><br />Once the eggs are laid, he will bring the female food, and if she wants to take a break, he will sit on the nest until she returns. When the babies hatch, he will help feed and care for them. Once the babies are fully feathered and out of the nest, the parents stop feeding. The babies will cry piteously, but apart from slipping them a few morsels from time to time, the parents stop feeding. And in one week, the babies are self-sufficient. <br /><br />You have commented on this before, and you are so right! Birds do choose mates wisely. <br /><br />Also, thank you for inspiring me to start doing pushups. <br /><br />Ann</p>
Staff
2015-01-09T18:59:00Z
Keeping Me Motivated as a SAHM
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-Me-Motivated-as-a-SAHM/680704323630065650.html
2015-01-08T18:59:00Z
2015-01-08T18:59:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Three years ago I left my job. Two days later, I found out I was pregnant with my first son. I spent the pregnancy and the first year of his life trying to justify my decision to stay home. I felt guilty and, at times, worthless. I wasn't contributing to my family simply because I didn't bring in an income and was not using my college degree. Sometimes, I was embarrassed to tell people I was a stay-at-home mom. 15 months after my son was born, my husband and I welcomed our second son. I felt more secure in my decision by now, but occasionally I still questioned it. <br /><br />This past summer, I randomly decided to visit your website! I grew up listening to you on car rides home from school with my mom and now I listen to you every day! I read "In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms" in two days and am currently reading "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". Because of the support of my parents and your reinforcement, I am proud to say I am a SAHM and will only work during school hours when my children are older! We are now expecting our third child. Yes that's 3 under 3 years old and I will be busy but I will still dedicate some of my time during naps or breastfeeding to your books and talk show.<br /><br />I am glad I didn't fall for the two income trap or trying to "have it all". In fact, just having my children and my husband makes me realize I do "have it all". The joke is on all the women who are trying to be everything to everyone at once instead of being a mother and a wife. They are the jacks-of-all trades, masters of none. I am an ever-evolving master at my trade. <br /><br />Thanks for keeping me motivated and helping me realize I am needed and I am important. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Elaine</p>
Staff
2015-01-08T18:59:00Z
26 Years...Then Nothing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/26-Years...Then-Nothing/-644603240223264266.html
2015-01-07T18:59:00Z
2015-01-07T18:59:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura. <br /><br />I have been married for 27 years. And the time is coming up quickly on the one year anniversary since my wife and I have had sex. I totally accept 100% of the blame for this. You see...I stopped asking to have sex. Since then...nothing. <br /><br />What I came to realize is that my wife has no interest in me sexually. And at this point the most un-appealing thing to me is to be with someone who is not interested. I can't imagine ever being intimate with my wife again. It's kind of sad...funny...frustrating...that the one person in this world I find more attractive than anyone else, doesn't want to be intimate with me. Is it wrong of me to constantly think about finding someone else to be intimate with? I don't like my wife's negative feelings about sex, and I always thought sex in some way shape or form was supposed to be a part of being married. <br /><br />All I think about is being with someone else. In fact it is kind of like hating your job. I was always taught to keep the bad job until something else comes along. I guess I am waiting for that something/someone better to come along. <br /><br />Take care. <br /><br />Glen</p>
Staff
2015-01-07T18:59:00Z
I'm Still His First Choice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Still-His-First-Choice/32897197660805462.html
2015-01-06T18:59:00Z
2015-01-06T18:59:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />You can't choose your family, but in many parts of the world, you can choose your spouse. I am reminded constantly of how important it is to choose wisely. I'm so thankful I did. <br /><br />My mother passed away unexpectedly a year ago and I sank into the deepest depression I'd known. Although we'd become extremely close friends her last couple of years on earth. Tonight, while trying to be an ear for my dad's grievances about his life, I broke down to my husband telling him how growing up, my brother was my mom's favorite and although I was a daddy's girl, my rebellious sister was dad's favorite. At school, I was picked last for everything. I could never shake feeling like a "leftover". I felt like if people are telling you you're worthless, pay attention because it must be true. <br /><br />My wonderful husband took me in his arms, let me cry, and reminded me he chose me first. He wanted to marry me from the start and he saved his virginity just for me. I did the same. And woohoo, I was brought back to reality. I wasn't a last resort for him - I wasn't a "leftover". He said he'd marry me again in a heartbeat. Because I listened to Mother Laura and waited for the RIGHT one, if I ever feel like I've been picked last again my husband asked me to be his girlfriend, told me he loved me, asked me to marry him, and made vows before God because he wanted to. I'm no consolation prize! <br /><br />Much love to you, <br /><br />Beth</p>
Staff
2015-01-06T18:59:00Z
Grateful For Practical Advice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Grateful-For-Practical-Advice/-261265040764511644.html
2015-01-06T18:59:00Z
2015-01-06T18:59:00Z
Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I started listening to you when I first went to counseling in my thirties, because honestly, I didn't have a clue about right and wrong, good choices vs. bad choices, proper boundaries and functional family dynamics. <br /><br />Your practical advice on everyday life situations, common sense, humor, boldness and lack of tolerance for head games, cop-outs, excuses, and blaming just stuck in my core! I owe you a debt of gratitude for helping me become the moral, strong, logical, confident woman I am today.<br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura!<br /><br />Katie<br />
Staff
2015-01-06T18:59:00Z
I Robbed My Child of a Mommy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Robbed-My-Child-of-a-Mommy/-705027162845722677.html
2015-01-05T18:59:00Z
2015-01-05T18:59:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been listening for only a few months. I want to share with you that you have opened my eyes to how I hurt my daughter when she was a little girl. In hindsight, I confess I KNEW what I was doing and I did it anyway, out of simple fear and selfishness. I want to share this in the hopes that it will drive home for others that, YES, they, too, are the ones you're talking about. <br /><br />I had just started a job six months prior to my daughter being born. We had two incomes and more money than we needed. My job adjusted for me by reducing my overall hours and giving me one work-from-home day and two in-office days. My husband and I worked out our schedules so one of us was home at any given moment to be with our baby daughter. On my workdays, my lunch hour was a quick snack followed by 45 minutes in the bathroom, pumping breast milk. It all felt WRONG: the hustle and bustle of what we called the Baby Swap, meeting in a public parking lot between work and home to exchange the cutie-pie; the exhaustion of trying to balance the over commitment of home-care, baby-care, self-care; the effect it had on me in my most cherished roles of wife and mother; and ultimately, the effect it had on my helpless daughter. <br /><br />My mindset came from my mother - a staunch, man-hating feminist – that to not contribute financially to the household income was to not be a valuable woman. So I felt foolish to consider not working outside the home. By the time my daughter was 5 years old and entering kindergarten, all my "vague" bad feelings had crystallized, and the negativity centered where it actually belonged - on my job. So, one day, without even consulting with anyone, I just up and quit. Looking back, I see that the time to feel foolish was when I was OUT of the home working, not IN the home being a REAL WOMAN.<br /><br />Meanwhile, my daughter’s first 5 years was robbed of a mommy, and I see the effects of that today. She is now 12 and despite how devoted a mother I am today, I can see she has moments when she is not sure how important she is to me. I'm convinced it's from her early years, when my treatment of her simply was not commensurate with how important she really is to me. I've been slow to grasp, from listening to you, that this IS the case. Slow because I wanted to excuse my actions as being the exception. I hope other women who are at that moment of decision to not be home to raise their baby make a better one than I did back then.<br /><br />Sincerely, <br />Pam<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-01-05T18:59:00Z
Everybody Else's Parents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Everybody-Elses-Parents/-112554649089502629.html
2014-12-19T20:05:00Z
2014-12-19T20:05:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />I heard a call from a mother regarding how to say no to her 11-year-old, regarding being on social media. My husband and I are 59. We've been married for 41 years and are the parents of two wonderful adults, aged 40 and 38. When they were teens and wanted permission for something and used the line, "Everybody else's parents ...", my husband's stock response was, "Do they adopt?" End of conversation! <br /><br />Teresa</p>
Staff
2014-12-19T20:05:00Z
Women No Longer Realize the Benefits of Being Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Women-No-Longer-Realize-the-Benefits-of-Being-Mom/-659790014809137088.html
2014-12-18T18:59:00Z
2014-12-18T18:59:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am a new listener to your show. You have given me so much strength to continue to do what is right for our family. When my husband and I had children, we both felt it was best I stay home with them. We knew it was the right decision for us, but even today we continue to receive much criticism. It is very reassuring to hear your messages. <br /><br />I work 8 hours a week and during those hours my husband is home with the kids. We made necessary changes to our budget and even though money is tight, it has always been the right decision. My female full-time co-workers have been critical of me because I don't work full time. They think I'm staying home with my kids to get a free pass from working. It is sad they don't realize the benefit of Mom being home to keep the family running smoothly. They have also criticized me for driving my kids to and from school every day. I can honestly say I have the best conversations with my kids on the ride to school. I treasure those conversations. <br /><br />My kids are now 15 and 11. One co-worker suggested I have my 15-year-old son watch my 11-year-old daughter 9 hours a day for the entire summer so I could work full time. I never asked for her opinion nor did I bring the subject up to her. I told her I am their parent and it is my responsibility not my son's. I let her know this is a family decision between my husband and me and we didn't need any suggestions! <br /><br />Thank you again Dr. Laura. I look forward to learning more! <br /><br />Susan</p>
Staff
2014-12-18T18:59:00Z
Answer to My Prayer
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Answer-to-My-Prayer/138264247674375523.html
2014-12-17T18:59:00Z
2014-12-17T18:59:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I'm a 46-year-old woman who listens to your program regularly on SiriusXM while in the car to or from work. My adult life has been one of many mistakes, struggles and setbacks, but with each one I find I am able to learn and grow from the experiences. <br /><br />Dr. Laura, on more than one occasion, I have heard the answers to my dilemmas though your radio show. On one particular morning, I prayed for some much needed guidance regarding spending the holidays with family. As I drove to work, you took a call from a young 18-year-old girl you had helped previously with her difficult relationship with her estranged father. She wanted some advice as to how to handle her father's insistence on attending her high school graduation and the rest of the family's pressure to invite him because "he's your father, he's family". <br /><br />My prayer for that day was specific: "Dear Lord, Please give me some guidance. How do I handle all of the well-intentioned pressure from friends at work telling me to 'be patient with my brother and father because they're family....'?" As I listened to your conversation with the young girl, I heard the answer to my prayer in the form of your words chiming through my radio speakers. "You just tell those well-meaning people who want you to give him a chance because he is your father...'Well he sure is not acting like my father...'" I could hear tears from the girl and her many words of thanks for your words of wisdom. You told her you would always be there for her, as a source of strength for those difficult situations in life where she needed to be assertive. As she cried, so did I. <br /><br />Dr. Laura, your voice and reassurance to that girl for me were words straight from heaven. You were my angel that day; God's medium to answer my need for guidance. <br /><br />Virtual hugs to you, <br /><br />Christina</p>
Staff
2014-12-17T18:59:00Z
Excuses Keep Us From Taking Care of Ourselves
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Excuses-Keep-Us-From-Taking-Care-of-Ourselves/-523556691184125386.html
2014-12-16T18:59:00Z
2014-12-16T18:59:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />I started listening to your show in 1996 when my son was an infant. I worked nights and my wife was a teacher. It was your nagging that inspired me to quit my night job, take a day job and have my wife be a stay-at-home mom. Eighteen years later, with 3 teenage sons, I have a brutal schedule. Between driving my sons to their schools not close to home and working in a stressful job, I found myself either skipping lunch or eating fast food every day. When I would get home, we would eat a quick dinner, I would have a few glasses of wine, watch TV and go to bed. <br /><br />A few months ago, you lectured a caller who could have been me. You pointed out only excuses keep us from taking care of ourselves. As my wife is not known for her cooking, I started preparing the family meals on the weekend. I decided to bring salad mixes to work for lunch and I joined a Kettlebell club. This meant getting up at 4:30 to get to the gym before leaving for work. Six months later, I have lost 35 pounds with only 10 more to go! I have added muscle tone and lost my belly. My children help make the dinners so we get some cool time together. And the whole family is having nice dinners every night. I have become an expert at crock pots and marinades and shop for sales every weekend. We even save money on food now. The best part is that we are spending more quality time together. And finally, my new found conditioning has given me more energy to deal with a busy schedule. <br /><br />Once again, thank you for your nagging. It really works! We just have to listen! <br /><br />Joseph</p>
Staff
2014-12-16T18:59:00Z
A Tip for Daughters-In-Law from a Daughter-In-Law
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Tip-for-Daughters-In-Law-from-a-Daughter-In-Law/86794902947337638.html
2014-12-15T18:59:00Z
2014-12-15T18:59:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Hi, Dr. Laura! <br /><br />Thank you for your wisdom regarding the mother/daughter-in-law relationship. Even though my wonderful husband and I have only been married 18 months, I have struggled in my relationship with my mother-in-law; you know, the usual oversensitivity and feeling intimidated by her. After our sweet daughter was born four months ago, everything already under the surface bubbled to the top. I found I was spending so much energy being offended and annoyed, it was exhausting!! <br /><br />Your advice has really opened my eyes to the things I can do to make our relationship less tense. I realized the mother-in-law relationship is another opportunity to be my husband's girlfriend. While we were dating, I never said anything negative about his mother or family, and did my best to make a good impression. Since trying this out, I find myself happier, lighter, and able to shake off the things that would normally get under my skin. And instead of spending my time being intimidated, I spend my energy being sweet. It makes me feel more loving toward my mother-in-law. <br /><br />So, yup! Thank you again for your wise advice. Gotta go, the baby is awake! <br /><br />Katherine<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2014-12-15T18:59:00Z
Working Hard for Our Future Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Working-Hard-for-Our-Future-Children/252219573649938088.html
2014-12-12T18:59:00Z
2014-12-12T18:59:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Good afternoon, Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My husband and I married very young - at 19. We are now 23. We waited to live together and to have sex on our wedding night. It was the best thing we ever did and I suggest to my friends they do the same. <br /><br />I work for a trucking company at a North Dakota oilfield. I was driving the company pickup truck one day when I stumbled upon your show. Now anytime I have to drive the truck, I listen in and soak up all of the Dr. Laura knowledge that I can! <br /><br />We live in a camper, and are both working very hard in order to save up some money to buy a home. We are also saving up so we can afford for me to be a stay-at-home mom! We are waiting to have children until we reach these goals. Our friends tell us we are crazy, but we believe in sacrificing now so our children may have a better future. <br /><br />I learn so much from you and will continue to apply that to our lives so we may have a happy and healthy family. We want to do things the Dr. Laura way! Now onto the book store to pick up some more Dr. Laura guidance. <br /><br />Rhea</p>
Staff
2014-12-12T18:59:00Z
Child of Divorce
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Child-of-Divorce/578110217433667652.html
2014-12-11T18:59:00Z
2014-12-11T18:59:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />After a recent call, you lamented over adults who treat their children like furniture or dogs. I can really relate to that. As a child of divorce 45 years ago, I felt like my father threw us kids away like a piece of garbage. I was nothing more than a piece of luggage to my mother with whom we kids lived after the divorce. She toted us around from town to town while trying to find a secure teaching job. My mother took us 3,000 miles away from our dad. <br /><br />I've tried to live a good life, but now I'm finally able to admit the traumatic impact their divorce has had on my life and I feel I can really be free. Suddenly my life is making sense. I have always been really hard on myself because I've had so many failures. Now I see that with all the disruption, confusion, dislocation, and alienation during those crucial adolescent years, how could I possibly have done better than I did? <br /><br />Also I missed not being able to keep any friends. Even the family cats, who were given away without so much as a goodbye, got a better deal than I did. At least some effort was made to find them homes. Today I can live a good, honest life, looking forward, not back. Thank you for continuing to fight on behalf of children. <br /><br />Phyllis</p>
Staff
2014-12-11T18:59:00Z
I Chose My Husband Twice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Chose-My-Husband-Twice/571363553539649715.html
2014-12-10T18:58:00Z
2014-12-10T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I have never actually called your program but I am an avid listener. I was a child who got married -- I picked my husband when I was 19 years old, and he was 23. We got divorced after 10 years due to stress, immaturity and neglect. My husband had an affair and I was a very independent strong girl-woman who would not stand for that.<br /><br />So, we divorced and we each started to raise our 2-year-old son separately. My sweet little boy was happy to be with both of us. Each time he returned from his weekend with his dad he would say, "Daddy loves you, Mommy." As a divorced mother, I thought a lot about the life my son would have. I didn't want him to be an outsider in a new family, I didn't want a new step mom or dad to not like him. And, I thought a lot about his little words to me about Daddy loving me. <br /><br />By this time, I was a Dr. Laura fan, and knew I shared some blame for my divorce. My little child helped me keep loving his daddy. Two and a half years after our divorce, my ex-husband picked me up and we drove to the justice of the peace and I married him again. Last June we celebrated our 25th anniversary. My little boy is now 20 years old and I can't help but believe we changed the course of his life. I married his daddy again because of him, but I am still together with his dad because of love. <br /><br />So, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I have a happy family and I know your words in your books and your words I hear on the radio helped me get that. I chose my husband twice and I will keep treating him kindly forever. <br /><br />Mary</p>
Staff
2014-12-10T18:58:00Z
Making Marriage Sweet
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Marriage-Sweet/181335236790522620.html
2014-12-09T18:59:00Z
2014-12-09T18:59:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I've listened to you since I was a little girl, hooked up to my Walkman in the middle of a strawberry field! You have been the key to my success in having the "Perfect" marriage.<br /><br />One day as you were talking to a woman, who wasn't enjoying her marriage, you asked her if she was being sweet. You again repeated the question, "Are you being sweet?" That stuck to me like glue. Since that moment, anytime I feel upset or frustrated, I ask myself, "am I being sweet?" It turns me in the right direction as to where I need my attitude to be. <br /><br />The other day, I sent my husband a text message, a very sweet text message. That very same evening a friend of his came over and was discussing marriage problems that he and his wife were going through. His comment to me was, "I wish my wife were as sweet as you." It made my whole day. My husband was proud, and so was I. So thank you Dr. Laura, for keeping my marriage "Sweet" -- we have two little boys and have been married for 15 very sweet years. You're the best. <br /><br />Shawna</p>
<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-12-09T18:59:00Z
Why My Husband Asked Me to Home School Our Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-My-Husband-Asked-Me-to-Home-School-Our-Kids/30658893842987907.html
2014-12-08T18:59:00Z
2014-12-08T18:59:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />I am a stay at home mom of 2 boys and wife to a sweet, smart, funny man. When I first met him he could hardly read or write, even though he was intelligent and capable, so I couldn't figure out what was going on. <br /><br />He said that in his school, the teachers never wanted the boys to act like boys. He was held back because he didn't learn like others, put on Adderall for ADD and was made to feel stupid by his teachers. The solution in his child mind was to just become what they thought he was, a dumb, ill-behaved boy. I was able to convince him that just because he wasn't taught these things did not mean that he was dumb. With a little practice and patience he could still learn. <br /><br />We're now married ten years. He's a great provider for our family. He's confident, well-read and has become a world history buff. He finally understands that the school system failed him. They didn't have time for his special needs so they stuck him with all the kids with behavior issues. He asked me to home school our boys so they don't have to experience the same humiliation and mistreatment that he did. He wants them to be proud that they are boys and grow up proud that they are men. While my insides quivered at the thought of homeschooling (not something I had planned to do), I said of course I would do it. Why? Because he is right!<br /><br />Tawanna Lady of this house</p>
<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-12-08T18:59:00Z
What Marriage Should Really Be
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Marriage-Should-Really-Be/-970536880455770008.html
2014-12-05T18:59:00Z
2014-12-05T18:59:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />There's a funny story that happened to me and my husband that I believe sums up what a marriage should be. <br /><br />Many years ago, my husband was getting dressed in the morning. He pulled out a pair of briefs and noted they were way too big--he wore a size 30 and these were size 36! He immediately turned to me and said with a mock glare, "What the heck is this?!" <br /><br />Three points: He thought it was funny, he knew there had to be a logical explanation, and he<strong><em> asked</em></strong> me rather than made stories up in his mind or wondered if I had been unfaithful. I in turn was completely flummoxed and started laughing. I had no clue how that pair of briefs ended up in his underwear drawer. I can only imagine how some couples would react--an automatic assumption that the wife had cheated and the 'other man' had left his underwear behind--accusations flying back and forth, worry and doubt and all the rest. For <strong>my</strong> husband, there was never any question in his mind, and for me, I never worried that he might have doubts. <br /><br />Two days later, he pulled out yet ANOTHER pair of wrong-sized briefs. I finally figured out what had happened. For our anniversary, we had gone on a weekend getaway. I remembered that as we were packing to leave, I looked under the bed and found underwear. Most likely, the prior occupant had left them and I just figured they were my husband's! Yes, kind of icky, but years later we still laugh about this incident. <br /><br />My husband is not a particularly romantic guy. It's very rare for him to send me flowers, nor does he go all out on anniversaries and birthdays. Instead, he is trustworthy, true to his word, amazing in a crisis, able to fix anything, as solid as a rock, a great father, a great provider, and above all, a real man. I could not be a more fortunate woman. Thanks for all you do!<br /><br />Maria</p>
<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-12-05T18:59:00Z
I Questioned Whether or Not to Be a Stay At Home Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Questioned-Whether-or-Not-to-Be-a-Stay-At-Home-Mom/-746987296074682553.html
2014-12-04T18:59:00Z
2014-12-04T18:59:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I am a military spouse and mother of three. I was the first female in a large family to graduate from college, which I paid for myself. 19 years ago when my husband and I gave birth to our oldest, I fully intended to return to work. After all, I had worked HARD to get that college degree and job. But when my six weeks maternity leave was up I could not bear the thought of my baby girl spending her days with somebody else. So, I decided that I would not return to work. <br /><br />When I made this decision, I did not get the support I expected. People thought I was crazy to give up a good paying job, and wondering how my family going to survive on a military paycheck, I questioned myself and my value, wondering if my greatest asset to my family was my paycheck. Then one day driving across Indiana I found you. You gave me a voice and you helped me be confident and proud in my decision to be the primary influence in my child's life. It was certainly not always easy, and we made sacrifices. As they transitioned into school I found jobs that allowed me to take my kids to school in the morning and to pick them up in the afternoon and to attend all their games and events.<br /> <br />My husband and I are now very proud parents of three young adults, 19, 17 and 16! I hear on a daily basis what kind-hearted, smart, accomplished, loving children we have. People say I am lucky, but I tell them I am not lucky; it is not an accident. It is because we made the right decision all those years ago. We decided what had value and it wasn't the material things -- it was each other. <br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura. I count you as one of our greatest blessings.<br /><br />Bree </p>
<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-12-04T18:59:00Z
My Daily Dose of Motherly Advice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Daily-Dose-of-Motherly-Advice/-7864958501074635.html
2014-12-03T18:59:00Z
2014-12-03T18:59:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Rarely a day has gone by in the last two years without my listening to you. It's my daily dose of "motherly advice", teaching me the right values and morals and not the unhealthy beliefs I was brought up with. I only wish I would have found you sooner, because then maybe I could have spared my children the pain caused by our divorce when they were teenagers.<br /><br />I now realize my part in why our marriage failed as well as my part in other broken relationships with family and friends. I was brought up by a feminist who divorced my dad when I was 9 years old. I was left to raise myself, because my mom went to work full time and spent her weekends with boyfriends, and my dad was in a new relationship as well and out of my life. I struggled with anorexia and b<span>ulimia</span> which started shortly after the divorce. I tried to be perfect and always wanted to please people, but I never felt "good enough". On top of it all, I felt responsible for my parents' happiness!<br /><br />Thanks to you, at the tender age of FIFTY, I now know that I AM good enough and I am grateful for that feeling. I am getting stronger because I believe in myself and am getting a voice of my own. You are an amazing, strong, kind and beautiful woman inside and out. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for changing my life for the better.<br /><br />Best wishes always, <br /><br />Christine </p>
<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-12-03T18:59:00Z
Sacrifices Are Not So Hard, When Your Children Are Happy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sacrifices-Are-Not-So-Hard,-When-Your-Children-Are-Happy/-629984222502952334.html
2014-12-02T18:59:00Z
2014-12-02T18:59:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I have listened to you off and on for several years and I can't describe in words how you have had an impact on my life.<br /><br />I was a professional woman, working my head off, and then I had my daughter. After looking into her eyes, I could not return to work and sentence her to a life in day care. I walked away from my job as an anesthetist and with my husband an active duty Marine at the time, figured out a way to live on his income. It wasn't easy -- we were down to one car and lived in base housing. There were days that it was overwhelming but all I had to do was look at my child's face to realize it was so worth it. <br /><br />During the 1970's being a stay at home Mom was uncommon and I was told numerous times that I should work simply because I had two degrees and was wasting my education. I have two children, and they're both grown and have children of their own and they still tell me that when they came home from school, it was great to see me there waiting for them. There are no words to describe how that made me feel. They are following my example and that is the reward for me as well as them. <br /><br />Please keep telling young mothers to raise their children themselves and make whatever sacrifices that are necessary to make that happen. Sacrifices are not so hard when you look at your children and see that they are happy and all your trying days are worth it. <br /><br />Jennifer </p>
<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-12-02T18:59:00Z
It's Wonderful to Have My Husband Back
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Wonderful-to-Have-My-Husband-Back/823341060456342264.html
2014-12-01T18:59:00Z
2014-12-01T18:59:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />I have listened to your program off and on since I was a young teenager. I am now 28, a wife and stay at home mom. I married a good man who always worked hard, but in the last few years he seemed to lose steam, because his pursuit of a law enforcement career wasn't panning out the way we hoped. <br /><br />We were having financial problems and it was looking like I might have to go back to work. I tried everything and nothing seemed to pull my hubby out of his funk. Finally I thought about going home to my parents until he could figure out how to provide for us. I called you and you agreed. <br /><br />Obviously this was a hard place to be and I discussed our conversation with my husband. He was devastated to hear your opinion, but it was the kick in the butt he needed! He has since changed his entire attitude and we are no longer on the verge of financial disaster. It is so wonderful to have my husband back! Thank you for lending your insight and wisdom to us.<br /> <br />Sometimes we lose our way, but with mentors like you it doesn't have to be lost forever. We married too young, but with your help we have been happily married for 7 years. Thank you again and may you continue to bless families everywhere! <br /><br />Sara</p>
<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-12-01T18:59:00Z
I've Never Laughed So Much in My Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ive-Never-Laughed-So-Much-in-My-Life/193844824154587152.html
2014-11-25T18:59:00Z
2014-11-25T18:59:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Last week, I heard you discussing the fear of getting out of one's comfort zone. Earlier that day I had an opportunity to be an extra in the filming of a national TV show. I'm not an actor, and don't live anywhere near Hollywood but I thought it might be fun to see a show being filmed, maybe see some celebrities, and hopefully meet some nice people. I'm a 51-year old married woman with two kids, I work from home and don't have a lot of outside contact. And I tend to be on the shy side, so going all alone to do something so completely different is definitely outside of my comfort zone. <br /><br />It was very early in the morning, it was at least an hour drive, they were shooting outside in the cold, it might be a long day...but mostly, I was afraid of being all alone with no one to talk to. I was struggling with the decision, but when I heard you talking about getting out of one's comfort zone, it felt as if you were talking directly to me. So with your voice in my head, I bravely committed to going.<br /><br />As it turned out, I met many interesting people. From the moment I arrived, I struck up a conversation with everyone around me, mostly aspiring actors. What a fun group of people! I've never laughed so much in my life! I even exchanged phone numbers with a few people and have made plans to get together. This is so far from how I imagined it to be. If it weren't for your show, I honestly don't think I would have had the nerve to go and would have missed out on so much. Thank you for all you do! <br /><br />Warm regards, <br /><br />Lori </p>
<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-25T18:59:00Z
How a Father Deals With a Situation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-a-Father-Deals-With-a-Situation/954301120904440960.html
2014-11-24T18:59:00Z
2014-11-24T18:59:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Dear Dr Laura, <br /><br />When I was in the 11th grade I was taking an information technology class. When we completed assignments we would email our work to the teacher and she would grade it and email it back. When my report card came, I had a C- in the class. I thought this strange because all the grades I had received via email were around 90%. When I questioned the teacher she stated I had not turned in a bunch of assignments and that's why my grade was low. I knew this wasn't the case and when I got a list of what I was missing; one of the assignments had been printed out and was hanging on the wall as an example of excellent work. We were instructed to clear our inboxes weekly, so there was no proof I'd done and received grades for the work. It soon became clear this teacher was either disorganized or had it out for me. <br /><br />When I worked up the courage to show my dad the report card, he questioned the weak grade. I explained it to him and stood there waiting for the worst. An expression of anger, then he thought and resolve came over his face. He sat there quietly for a moment, and then said, "I believe you. We can't out power her, so we will have to outsmart her. Show me how to set up an email box or whatever you call it." Technology wasn't Dad's strong suit. The plan was simple. I would email all my work to both him and my teacher, and then save it all on a disk. I would then print whatever I could and have it date stamped at the school office. <br /><br />The next semester, when this happened again, I walked in with the disk and all the date stamped assignments and set them on the teacher's desk. She still refused to give me the proper grade despite all the evidence sitting right in front of her. This time when I went home and told Dad, there was only one emotion on his face. At the end of the next day, I was called down to the office. I walked in to see my dad, my teacher and the principal waiting for me. I don't know what was said in that meeting, but the teacher sheepishly apologized to me, and the principal said my grade would be adjusted for that term and the grade from last term would be changed to match this one. Then the principal did something I'll never forget. He shook my hand, then my dad's and said, "The way you dealt with this is how fathers should deal with all situations." He turned to me and said, "You are lucky to have a man as your father." <br /><br />On the way home, Dad said, "If you do wrong, I'll let them serve you whatever punishment they want, but if you're in the right, I'll fight the world with you." Dad has taught me how to work hard, fight smart, and accept responsibility when I'm wrong. Now that I'm a husband and father, I do my best to remember the times like that, when my dad had my back and do the same for my son. <br /><br />Jeff</p>
<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-24T18:59:00Z
Raising Our Child's Grade
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-Our-Childs-Grade/639251120070224979.html
2014-11-21T18:59:00Z
2014-11-21T18:59:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I fully support your position on homeschooling. However, if you don't have brain power at home, it is left to us public school teachers. Here is a transcript from my conferences: <br /><br /><strong>Parents: </strong>How can our child get her grade up?<br /><strong>Me: </strong>As I have expressed in our previous email exchanges, she is enraptured with her cellphone and does not pay attention to me, not does she do any work due to the videos, images or text messaging she is engaged in.<br /><strong>Parents: </strong>She needs a phone in case she gets sick.<br /><strong>Me:</strong> Does she suffer from a condition? Does the phone administer medicine?<br /><strong>Parents:</strong> No.<br /><strong>Me:</strong> How often does she fall ill?<br /><strong>Parents:</strong> We just mean if she gets the flu.<br /><strong>Me:</strong> But she'd be in the nurse's office and they would call you. There are phones all over the building, especially in the office.<br /><strong>Parents: </strong>So how can she raise her grade from an F?<br /><strong>Me:</strong> She needs to leave the phone at home or perhaps you can get her just a phone and not having access to whatever she is looking at while we are working on the lesson.<br /><strong>Parents: </strong>She needs the phone so she knows which one of us is picking her up after school.<br /><strong>Me:</strong> You aren't able to tell her in the morning?<br /><strong>Parents:</strong> No.<br /><strong>Me:</strong> Don't you have a set pick up spot? She should know your car or cars.<br /><strong>Parents: </strong>How can she raise her grade?<br /><strong>Me:</strong> She. Cannot. If. She. Has. That. Phone. <br /><br />Mary</p>
<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-21T18:59:00Z
Romance Novel Worthy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Romance-Novel-Worthy/-322962442786139666.html
2014-11-20T18:59:00Z
2014-11-20T18:59:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My husband and I have been married for 15 years, and the following story is why we have a GREAT, SWEEPING, romance! My husband has done many sweet things for me over the years and I often classify them as "Romance Novel worthy." Not sex/lust romance, but small, sweet, gestures that equal GRAND, SWEEPING love/romance! And recently there has been another such gesture. <br /><br />About two weeks ago, I asked my husband that while he and the girls were taking their nature walks in the back yard to please pick me up some brightly colored leaves off the ground so I could use them for some fall decorating projects. He and the girls went off to look, but after much effort, I mostly had pine needles and cones -- there just wasn't that much color yet. So fast forward two weeks and when my husband came home from running errands all over town, I went outside to see if I could help him bring in anything. He hands me a shopping bag full of the brightly colored leaves! With critical errands to run, this 6'-6" gentle giant stopped by the side of the road and spent 10-20-30 minutes picking up and filling a bag with leaves, just because he knew it would make me happy. That's some good "romance novel" stuff, if you ask me! <br /><br />With much love and respect for the wonderful work that you do, <br /><br />Stacy </p>
<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-20T18:59:00Z
Mother-in-Laws
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mother-in-Laws/-895465947960681264.html
2014-11-19T18:59:00Z
2014-11-19T18:59:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Today, I listened to a young woman agonize over her mother-in-law's request to have an additional bridesmaid at her wedding. Her youthful narcissism demanded she execute HER wedding HER way, launching her marriage on a make-believe sea of perfection without careful regard to the relationships that will sustain her for a lifetime, and weather the storms that most surely will come her way. My heart wanted to break. While she is anticipating the arrival of problems with her mother-in-law, I face the heartbreaking reality that my years with them are limited. And I cherish each moment. <br /><br />I was a newlywed when I suffered the recurrence of a rare cancer. It was both sets of parents that sustained us during the treatments. My mother-in-law took the train to my house every Monday, and helped me with my newborn twins and two-year-old, returning back to her house every Friday. When we visited them in those early years, they would insist on taking the babies porta-cribs and all into their room at least one of the nights, so we could have an entire night of uninterrupted sleep. When my husband was relocated to the Midwest, they booked flights to help settle us in to our home; and when we returned, we were welcome guests. <br /><br />Twenty-five years have passed. They still help with the kids, who are all in college, and I still find such solace and love in their presence. Not only have they helped me become the parent I am today, they have graciously modeled how to be amazing in-laws, when that time comes. They have been such an amazing source of support during this journey. Additionally I have found, during these decades of marriage, that how I treat my mother-in-law is directly proportionate to the appreciation my husband shows me. So is it worth the extra bridesmaid? This child of 24 has no idea what life holds in store for her. But rest assured there will be so many challenges, and the relationships one builds with family is so precious. There will be many big things to fight for. This is not one of them. I'm going to send my ma-in-law a card tomorrow letting her know how I feel....while I still can. <br /><br />With Gratitude, <br /><br />Irene</p>
<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-19T18:59:00Z
When I Changed, He Changed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-I-Changed,-He-Changed/-855268526934790551.html
2014-11-18T18:59:00Z
2014-11-18T18:59:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />My husband and I have been married for 32 years. I did choose wisely, but I didn't always treat kindly and we almost didn't make it. When my 3 children were teens we started to have differences in parenting styles and instead of being unified, we were divided. We fought in front of the kids and I treated my husband with disrespect and hostility. He left and had an affair. We were separated for 9 months. My friends were telling me to leave the bastard, but I saw what it was doing to my children. Not having their father in the house was worse than our arguing. So, I decided to save my marriage.</p>
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext">When I changed, he changed. No, the problem wasn't all me, but I realized divorce was only going to create a lifetime of problems for all of us: holidays, birthdays, graduations, all of that was going to be painful...forever. That was 10 years ago and there isn't a day now that we don't look at one another and thank God we worked it out. Our love is deeper and stronger than it ever was. Last year we were both there, TOGETHER, for the birth of our first grandchild. WOW... I wouldn't trade that moment for anything!</p>
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext">Yes, it was hard on our children, but I know that what we modeled to them about the marriage commitment may help them in their own marriages someday. My oldest son is now married to a wonderful woman and my other two are waiting to find the right one. When they do, my husband and I will be there cheering them on to have a long and fulfilling life together like we have had. Even their grandparents are going on 67 years together. Their secret? They still kiss one another every morning and every evening before going to sleep. Maybe their example is why I chose to keep my commitment... I am so thankful I did!</p>
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext">Melissa</p>
<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-18T18:59:00Z
Learning From Your Losses
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-From-Your-Losses/388912097619140730.html
2014-11-17T18:59:00Z
2014-11-17T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />My wife and I have always stressed to our two boys that learning to lose is just as important, if not more so, than learning to win. Your success is measured based on how you handle yourself in either scenario. So, I reluctantly agreed to coach my oldest son's soccer team this year as no one else would take on the role. I did not really feel qualified, but also did not want the team to remain coach-less. <br /><br />The team first met me and each other about fifteen minutes prior to our first game. I didn't have a plan, so I just started talking. When I asked them if they knew the most important part of the game, they responded with a robotic and depressing "Yeah, having fun", which I could tell had been pounded into their heads from an early age. What I said next surprised me as much as it did the team. "No, winning is the most important thing" came out of my mouth with an apparent confidence that was not yet in my head. <br /><br />I then told the players I had no idea how good this team was compared to the other teams in the league and could not assure them that we would win any of our games on the scoreboard. "That's why," I said, "it is important for each of you to set personal goals and measure your success based on what you can control, not simply the final score." I also told them I didn't care if they had fun during the game, but wanted them to enjoy the game by working hard and learning something about themselves. Once that first game was over, the scoreboard said we lost, but each player ended up proudly describing to the rest of the team how they had "won" by meeting his own individual goal. <br /><br />We have gone on to win, lose and tie on the scoreboard, but some of our most significant victories have come from the toughest games, in which the average observer would cringe when looking at the final score. Coaching this team has been a growing experience for me and it has been a joy to see each of these kids focus on and learn how to win, each in his own way.<br /><br />Sam <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-17T18:59:00Z
I Know My Family is Safe
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Know-My-Family-is-Safe/-302015215036760305.html
2014-11-14T18:59:00Z
2014-11-14T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />When I married, things were good financially. I'm a truck driver, and had a job where I was home every night. Then, due to cutbacks, I lost that well-paying job. It soon became clear that we would eat though our savings within the year. I take my role as provider and protector very seriously so this was a hard thing to face. <br /><br />I was offered another job that paid more, but I would be on the road for three weeks at a time. I couldn't leave my family unguarded for three weeks, so my wife and I came up with a plan. I'd work for five years, just to save enough so we could survive on a lower wage. Then we got security cameras, an alarm system and two German Shepherds, We also bought a pump action shot gun and I taught my wife how to use it. All was good for about a year, but the dogs were more like giant teddy bears than guard dogs, or so I thought. <br /><br />One night, I was able to come home, and I thought it would be romantic to surprise her. At 10 PM, I quietly crept up to the door and silently slid my key inI opened it, shut off the alarm, and then heard a deep growl, and saw two dogs, ten feet away, teeth showing and hackles up. When they recognized me, they turned into those teddy bears again. I went upstairs hoping my wife hadn't been woken up. I flipped on the light and found myself staring down the business end of a pump action shotgun. My wife was at the other end of it, barefoot and dressed in a night gown. <br /><br />She lowered the gun and said, "well, you're home early.... Damn near got yourself shot!" Then she gave me a kiss. I had a much needed shot of whiskey, and we went to bed. I worry less now, knowing that my family is safe, or as safe as they could be without me and that 5 year plan, I've now been offered a very good paying job where I am home every night and know where that shotgun is!<br /><br />Jeff<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-14T18:59:00Z
My Job Comes with Love Notes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Job-Comes-with-Love-Notes/-540097275525751264.html
2014-11-13T18:59:00Z
2014-11-13T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr Laura:<br /><br />I am a mommy to three really great kids. They are 7, 5 and 18 months. I am also a photographer for babies, children and families, but only accept photo sessions when my kids can be home with their daddy. I am up late at night editing after my kids are in bed -- all to help bring in extra income so I can continue to be an at-home mom.<br /><br />Last night I was up editing after the kids went to bed. I walked into the kitchen to get some water and saw a note laying on the counter from my 5 year old. She must have left it before I put her to bed. In big crayon lettering it said "I Love. For You." <br /><br />My heart turned into mush. What other job out there leaves you love notes? On any given day I could show you 2-3 "I love you" drawings all for me. I am the center of their entire world. <br /><br />They may not say thank you every time I make dinner, wash clothes, or play in the sandbox with them for an hour. Their little hearts think of me when they think of love, and that is more than enough for me.<br /><br /><span> </span>Erin <br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/eod_111314a.jpg" alt="" width="600" height="535" /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-13T18:59:00Z
Proud to Say, I am a 'Homemaker'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Proud-to-Say,-I-am-a-Homemaker/-454245008462560707.html
2014-11-12T18:59:00Z
2014-11-12T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />I recently received a request from the prestigious all girls, college prep Catholic high school from which I graduated to contribute to their alma mater directory.<br /><br />Most of the women I graduated with went on to have successful careers upon graduating from college. I too went on to get my bachelor's degree in journalism, and then a teaching credential. When I called the people putting the directory together, the woman on the phone asked me if I had a title or job position I wanted to include. I thought for a minute and then said, "homemaker". She chuckled and asked if I really wanted her to put that down. I said, "yes," she sighed and said okay and the call ended.<br /><br />I am my husband's girlfriend of 22 years and the mother of 3 children who I can say proudly have never spent a day in daycare. I didn't work outside my home until my youngest was in kindergarten and then only when she was there. I work outside the home more now that they are all in school, but most days I am home when they come home. I try very hard to have a home-cooked dinner on the table, and I work very hard to make sure my home is run smoothly and managed well. My first priorities are my husband, children and home. <br /><br />I want to thank you Dr. Laura for validating what we "homemakers" do. I listen to your show as often as I can and because of your constant defense and uplifting of the unsung and often belittled heroines of our culture I was able to say with pride and confidence, "I am a homemaker."<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-12T18:59:00Z
Conquering Immature and Self-Destructive Habits
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Conquering-Immature-and-Self-Destructive-Habits/326277993024341259.html
2014-11-11T18:59:00Z
2014-11-11T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm 22 and am experiencing the first few months of adulthood after graduating from college, which includes working full-time and fully supporting myself financially. It's been exciting, confusing and a bit lonely, but your advice has helped me focus and gain control over my life. I want to share some things I've done to conquer immature and self-destructive habits, thanks to you:<br />
<ul>
<li>Stop following everyone on Facebook. I now only follow club groups that I belong to or pages that interest me, period.</li>
<br />
<li>Take responsibility for your own actions - past and present. I've played the victim for far too long.</li>
<br />
<li>There are always two sides to every story. Own up to your part and learn from it.</li>
<br />
<li>The best advice I got from you - if you're not ready to marry, it's not the time to date.</li>
<br />
<li>Allow yourself "alone time," and pursue things that interest you. It'll make you a more interesting person, and create opportunities to make new friends.</li>
<br />
</ul>
Thank you for all you do. Listening to you is no longer just a "long car ride" thing!<br /><br />Ashley<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-11T18:59:00Z
A Love Note From My Warrior
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Love-Note-From-My-Warrior/69634729772880539.html
2014-11-10T18:59:00Z
2014-11-10T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I received the following email from my husband while he was deployed, just because he was missing me. I thought reading it might make you smile. <br /><br /><br /><em>I love you because your cheeks get big and your eyes sparkly when you smile.<br /></em><br /><em>I love you because you like to snuggle.<br /></em><br /><em>I love you because you depend on me, but I also love you because you can do it yourself. <br /></em><br /><em>I love you because you are a good mother to my sons.<br /></em><br /><em>I love you because you take care of me when I'm not able to. <br /></em><br /><em>I love you because you have soft skin, great boobs, and soft wet kissing lips.<br /></em><br /><em>I love you because you have great hair. I can still remember what it smelled like the first time I hugged you 24 years ago! <br /></em><br /><em>I love you because you are a loving, respectable woman and partner by day and a raving, sexy, girlfriend for me at night. <br /></em><br /><em>I love you because you call at the same time I call you.<br /></em><br /><em>I love you because I have to hold you back from yelling at anyone who has wronged me, no questions asked.<br /></em><br /><em>I love you because you can't handle more than a half glass of wine.<br /></em><br /><em>I love you because you don't jaywalk.<br /></em><br /><em>I love you because you are great at math.<br /></em><br /><em>I love you because God gave you to me. Happy Wednesday. <br /></em><br /><em>Love, Michael <br /></em><br /><br />I thought Mother Laura would be proud. My man has 24 years active duty. We met when we were 19 and he was just out of boot camp. He supports me 100% as a stay at home mom to our two sons. He is my warrior and I am his warrior wife. And my heart still goes pitter patter every time I hear him come home. <br /><br />Thanks for all you do. <br /><br />Dena<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-10T18:59:00Z
Benefits of Homeschooling
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Benefits-of-Homeschooling/-137711535772774619.html
2014-11-07T18:59:00Z
2014-11-07T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm a homeschooling mom to an 8-year-old son and 5-year-old daughter. We get our schooling done while the 3 year old naps. Here are some of the benefits:<br /><br />
<ul>
<li>My active son won't be told he has ADHD for acting like a normal boy which is a reason many of our friends pulled their kids out of public school to home school.</li>
<br />
<li>In two hours a day we accomplish more than the poor teachers in public school can with the 30 kids they are responsible for. </li>
<br />
<li>My children have plenty of time to explore, play, and create. </li>
<br />
<li>No homework battles at night! When school is over, it's over which allows a lot of family time at night. </li>
<br />
<li>My children have ample time to pursue sports and hobbies.</li>
<br />
<li>My children are free to develop their own personalities without the fear of not fitting. </li>
</ul>
<br />And for the people that worry that my kids won't be "socialized" like all of the other children at public school, that's exactly why we do it! We have so many social opportunities -- sports, clubs, field trips, play dates with other homeschoolers, play dates with other kids in the neighborhood -- that we have to frequently turn down social opportunities to allow enough time for school. <br /><br />It's also very rewarding when people frequently comment on how well behaved and intelligent my children are. I'm glad I made the decision, in part thanks to you, to do the right thing for my kids! <br /><br />Candiss<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-07T18:59:00Z
How I Knew I was Ready for Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Knew-I-was-Ready-for-Marriage/-207899647517602558.html
2014-11-06T18:59:00Z
2014-11-06T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />We married young, at 22 1/2, and just celebrated our 46th anniversary. How did I know I was ready? When all doubt went away about marrying her. This was after dating 3 1/2 years, discussing kids, religion, sex (we did not have sex before marriage) and career goals. It is so gratifying to know I have been the only one, and we have a very good sex life. Have we fought? Absolutely, but divorce was never an option, only finding some way to work it out or let it go. <br /><br />We have four kids, all extremely successful. My wife was a stay at home Mom and she was very involved with school and every sport and hobby they chose. Sometimes I would come home and find other kids at our house even though none of ours were home. We always ate together, even if it was on the side lines of a soccer field. To this day we enjoy and celebrate all kinds of things with back yard BBQ's, restaurant gatherings or around the kitchen table.<br /><br />She pressured me for a ring after about 1 and 1/2 years but I still needed to make more progress on school and was unclear about kids and religion. When we arrived on the same page all the fear and doubt went away, I gave her the ring and we set a date. I am extremely lucky. <br /><br />Garry <br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-06T18:59:00Z
My Kids Actually Listen!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Kids-Actually-Listen!/-660517827516317357.html
2014-11-05T18:59:00Z
2014-11-05T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr Laura:<br /><br />I discovered you about 5 years ago and I've enjoyed listening to you immensely. Although my liberally raised self sometimes disagrees with you, I find it amusing that I've been living most of your principles all along.<br /><br />I dated my husband for four years before we married, but mostly because we wanted to wait until we were out of our early 20's. He proposed, I said yes, we got married and had two sons, in that order! 13 years later our boys are 6 and 8 and I am a stay at home mom. I don't let them listen to your show all that often because sometimes the topics are a bit too adult, but trust me they have heard you before and know your voice WELL! <br /><br />I never knew they were REALLY listening until the other day when I was with my 8 year old. During the course of our conversation I must have given him one too many pieces of Dr Laura wisdom when he said rather snarkily "I known mom, I can't live with a girl until I get married, I can't have babies until after I'm married and I have to marry a girl who will stay home with our kids!!!". And even though I wanted to scold him for the snarkiness, how could I when I know WE had gotten through to him? <br /><br />That was a proud moment for me and I hope is for you as well. I now know I'm raising a real man. I thank you for that.<br /><br />Much love, <br /><br />Jessica in New Jersey<br />
Staff
2014-11-05T18:59:00Z
Appreciating the Sentiment, Not the Cost
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Appreciating-the-Sentiment,-Not-the-Cost/711884337544400742.html
2014-11-04T18:59:00Z
2014-11-04T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I have been married for 19 years and we have two teenage girls. <br /><br />When my husband would ask me "Honey what do you want for Christmas?" I would coyly say "Oh Nothing - don't worry about getting me a present" when inside I would hope he would take that to mean "Please get me something YOU picked out and has meaning for me". <br /><br />One Christmas I snapped when we all sat down to open gifts, and I had none. All my frustration and hostility came out at once when I answered "MOM would like to open gifts too and feel needed, but no one thought to do anything for me!" My husband looked and me and realized what had gone wrong and quietly apologized. I told him that it was MY fault for "thinking and wishing" that he would do something that was in MY head. After all, if I never gave him ideas, how would he know what to buy me? <br /><br />My husband told me that he would be buying me gifts from this point on, as he didn't know how much it bothered me being left out. I felt silly for not ever sharing with him that side of me and since then, we get each other small gifts for our exchange and I love opening a present that he wrapped by himself, even if it is something for the house or all of us to use. The thought is more than the gift and I appreciate the sentiment, not the cost.<br /><br />Jill<br />
Staff
2014-11-04T18:59:00Z
My Own Fault That I Was Blind
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Own-Fault-That-I-Was-Blind/217682124249777354.html
2014-11-03T18:59:00Z
2014-11-03T18:59:00Z
<br /><br />I waited to marry. I thought I chose wisely. I treated kindly. We even went to pre-marital counseling. She wanted a career, I wanted a family. Looking back, I should have seen the signs. I thought she would change with a child, but...no. I became a stay-at-home father while still trying to maintain a modest business. And I did, just as many women do, all without the help of my wife. <br /><br />I am devastated by the fact nothing I have done is regarded as 'supportive' by her. Not the managing of the myriad of caretakers for her terminally-ill parents when they moved in with us, not when I buried them both, not when I assisted in growing her company, not when our child attained the highest of national awards in scholastic achievement because of my home tutoring. I take my son to school every day, cook three meals a day for him, pray for him, pay for school, lessons, clothing, video games, movies...whatever. <br /><br />Once my wife reached the level of success she wanted, I was no longer useful. She had an affair. She confessed. I forgave her. Then, she filed for divorce. And although I've done all I have, the courts don't understand. They only see it one way - the mother has the upper hand and gets whatever visitation SHE requests, and my expensive, reputable attorneys can't help. I am trying to keep a positive attitude, and have made plans for the future, but the debt she has acquired in growing her business has crippled me. I have no vices, I am not abusive, I do not use drugs, but I'm still losing my son. She doesn't care nor do the courts about 'Community Property' or an 'Equitable Settlement'. She has a trust fund, to boot. I can't even rent, nor buy a house. A double-whammy. I lose everything, including my son. <br /><br />I know that someday in the future, he will see what happened, and the real love I've shown him will bring him back. <br /><br />Dr. Laura, please tell men to 'grow a pair'. If you want to marry a woman, and she wants only a career, STOP! Don't marry her! It is my experience, and my opinion that, if, as a man, you ever give up your 'power', you will never get it back. To quote an old adage, "Respect, once broken, never well mended"! I admit it, I was blind. My own fault, but I'm not going to let it destroy me - I promise you, Dr. Laura...if only to call you someday and tell you of my 'overcoming'. I look forward to that day! <br /><br />Robert <br />
Staff
2014-11-03T18:59:00Z
Making My Husband's Day Easier Helps Me Too
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-My-Husbands-Day-Easier-Helps-Me-Too/-594573066417092798.html
2014-10-31T17:59:00Z
2014-10-31T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I like to do little, unobtrusive things to help my husband. For example, I don't just pick up his shirts from the cleaner; I also take off the twisty that binds the hangers together, undo and discard the plastic bags and paper shoulder covers, and remove the ID tags that are stapled in the buttonhole. That way he can just grab one and get dressed in the morning without dealing with all that stuff. The funny thing is, I find that doing these little things for him throughout the day provides me the time and an excuse to be thinking about him at random moments, and that makes me miss him, which pays dividends when he does get home. It makes him happy and it makes me very happy -- trying to state that in a daytime-friendly, G-rated way! <br /><br />Thanks for what you do. If I only listened to the popular culture or the other moms on the playground benches, I would have no idea what glorious creatures men are. <br /><br />Best wishes, <br /><br />Sara<br />
Staff
2014-10-31T17:59:00Z
Nuggets of Wisdom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Nuggets-of-Wisdom/501312505488756222.html
2014-10-30T17:59:00Z
2014-10-30T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I found you again, after several years of not getting to hear your show and advice, my wonderful Sirius radio has brought you back to my car. And, after listening for a few weeks, I'm almost in awe of the influence you had on me and I didn't even know it. <br /><br />Several years ago, I listened to you daily. I loved your style, appreciated your candor and took many things to heart. At that time, I was going through a divorce, raising two kids alone and was caring for ailing and dying parents. I was drowning. No one on the outside knew my struggles that I let surface when alone at night: the fears, the wonder of how long I could do this and the plain, enduring fatigue of the demands on me. <br /><br />Because I grew up as an athlete, I was disciplined and learned young that you pushed through whatever you had to push through. In fact, I lived because of it - As a college student, I was slammed by another skier into a tree. I died on the slopes, was resuscitated and airlifted to the hospital. After awakening from a coma, I spent 2 months flat on my back with a reconstructed face, plate in my arm, skull fracture, crushed pelvis, speech aphasia, and the loss of my short term memory. I had no idea if I would walk again and what other life challenges I would face. Fast forward: I walk, had children and dance. <br /><br />The nuggets of wisdom I gleaned from listening to you were never so blatant that I knew it was happening. Instead, it slowly crept into my parenting, my relationship with a demanding mother and my career. You supported me when I didn't even know I would need it. I just wanted you to know, there are so many times you say something and I have an epiphany. I'm thankful to know when I did feel alone and doubtful, you had given me strength to be what I needed to be. Even when I didn't know where it came from. <br /><br />Thank you, <br /><br />Kyle (female) <br />
Staff
2014-10-30T17:59:00Z
I Thought I Needed a Job...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Thought-I-Needed-a-Job.../796094063240159289.html
2014-10-29T17:59:00Z
2014-10-29T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Many years ago, I stayed home with my three children and parented them exclusively for ten years. I loved every minute of it. However, when they all went to elementary school, I started to think I needed a job. I wanted something "for me". I wanted to get paid and told I was doing something well by a boss. Mostly, I wanted to feel productive. <br /><br />I found a wonderful job where I got paid to visit first-time parents and teach them how to play with their babies, nurture and care for their babies, and all aspects of healthy parenting. I would give these families 8 hours of my time during the day and would come home exhausted with my own family. In addition, my youngest son started falling apart. He got in trouble at school and after school when left unsupervised with his older siblings, went next door and took something from the neighbor. Lastly, he carved a symbol on my husband's truck; an obvious cry for help. <br /><br />Around that time I was listening to you on the radio as I was driving on my way to visit my "other families". You weighed heavy on my heart. Your words hurt and I knew I needed to make a change. After much personal debate, I told my husband I was quitting my job and going back to be there for MY family again. This was the best decision I could ever had made. I started volunteering in the school, my summers were now free again to create fun memories with my children. Mostly, I was home to supervise my children after school. The problems stopped and my son turned himself around. It took a while, but he is healthy, happy and stable now. Thank you for being the person who spoke to my heart when I needed it. It's like the ol' saying goes: when I lay on my death bed, I won't look back thinking about my employment, how I should have worked more. I'll be thankful for all the times I was with my family. Enjoying every minute of it! <br /><br />Thanks again, <br /><br />Valerie<br />
Staff
2014-10-29T17:59:00Z
I'm So Grateful I Stayed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-So-Grateful-I-Stayed/-148207633244704535.html
2014-10-28T17:59:00Z
2014-10-28T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I married my wonderful husband when I was 25 and he was 31. I was a very immature girl and turned to drinking as a response to my husband not doing what I wanted him to do. He had three children, we had two together. We did everything wrong, and fought through it --literally. <br /><br />I stopped drinking through a twelve step program. I remember the day I stood in front of him and said: I am committed to this marriage. I have no plans on divorcing you. I can't fix you, but I can fix me! Things got better; every day I worked on me and my attitude. <br /><br />I remember when I got so mad at him about something that I just wanted to kill him! He walked in the door from work, I put my arms around him, gave him a big hug and said "I love you". All that anger disappeared. <br /><br />He retired at age 52 and we had wonderful, fun-filled years until he died in April of 2013. I would not have changed one thing! I am so grateful I stayed. The children won, their dad won, and I won. <br /><br />Thank you for what you do. <br /><br />A happy listener, <br /><br />Taffy<br />
Staff
2014-10-28T17:59:00Z
How to Raise Well-Behaved Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-to-Raise-Well-Behaved-Children/775713809961432444.html
2014-10-27T17:59:00Z
2014-10-27T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am the proud mother of seven children, and yes I gave birth to all of them. I raised all my children with the same consistent values, principals and rules of the game from the first to the last. In addition I raised them myself for the last 10 years when my "wasband" left and decided the women in Thailand were much more exciting. <br /><br />My plan is simple on how to raise well-behaved children. I am the head of my household. They will never be. I established that from the get go. If they look at me funny, back-talk me or call me names, we have a problem. I make the rules, and I will not consult or negotiate those rules with them....evvvvverrr. They are to be respectful with their elders and watch their language and behavior around both them and small children. If they misbehave on the school bus, I don't care what the school's policy is, I give my permission on the first day of school to the driver to boot them off. They are not to come home and tell me how mean their teacher is. I expect them to understand her perspective; she has to put up with 35 yard apes every day. She deserves a huge reward just for showing up. <br /><br />I teach my children to be responsible for their own behavior and actions and never address an issue until I have a clear understanding of their contribution. They are to eat what is put before them and be grateful they have something to eat. "No" is a word they will get to know well because there will be more nos in life than yesses. I love them enough to teach them about life and its rewards and consequences. If they learn to deal with them, they will be well-equipped in life and I have done my job. Oh, and if they don't like me at least 10 times per week then I know I am on the right track as their parent. <br /><br />Lesley <br /><br />P.S.: Dr. Laura, I am a personal trainer and an Ironman. I believe in pushups, burpees, running and biking are wonderful deterrents to ants in the pants... just my two cents.<br />
Staff
2014-10-27T17:59:00Z
Thank You for the Parenting Advice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You-for-the-Parenting-Advice/750184479787100649.html
2014-10-24T17:59:00Z
2014-10-24T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My husband and I have been married 7 years and welcomed our first baby girl eight months ago. I have listened to you for years and cannot thank you enough for your guidance. <br /><br />We are raising our beloved baby girl according to "Mother Laura's" rules. The other night I asked my husband, should I meet an untimely demise if he would wait until she was "grown, up and out" before dating again? He said "Yes, we are going to Dr. Laura her." Through my laughter, I sighed to myself knowing we were lock step in raising our most precious gift. I am 100% my kid's mom and will always be my husband's girlfriend. <br /><br />Keep doing what you do! <br /><br />Fondly, <br /><br />Ann-Marie<br />
Staff
2014-10-24T17:59:00Z
Simple Romantic Gesture
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Simple-Romantic-Gesture/777430703118941985.html
2014-10-23T17:59:00Z
2014-10-23T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I have been lucky enough to be married to a wonderfully generous romantic man. <br /><br />I am lucky that every morning, without fail, he brings me coffee in bed to start my day. On our last anniversary (married 16 years) he was away on a business trip to China so I had obviously not planned on any coffee being delivered. However, I should know better than to underestimate this man. He had a friend deliver coffee and a croissant, placing them on the front porch so when I went for the paper I would see them sitting there. This was such a romantic gesture. I knew that even though he was probably sleeping in China at the time, he was still thinking of me. That cup of coffee and pastry was the best gift I have received. <br /><br />Jen<br />
Staff
2014-10-23T17:59:00Z
I Want the Pleasure of Raising My Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Want-the-Pleasure-of-Raising-My-Kids/-129529799253353393.html
2014-10-22T17:59:00Z
2014-10-22T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />After I became an adult and was thinking about marriage and children, there was never a question in my mind that I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and homeschool my kids. I had countless first dates and my theme song became Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust", which I would sing to my mother every time I ditched another crappy guy. I wanted to make sure the man I married agreed with my beliefs and desires. <br /><br />I spent years caring for my nieces and nephews as though they were mine. I yearned to have a niece or nephew prefer me when they got hurt, but they never did. I yearned to tuck babies in at night, but my sisters had that pleasure. I yearned to make the decisions I felt were right for children, but my sisters made decisions, and I had no right to say anything. Why in the world, after all that yearning and longing, would I EVER want to give someone else the pleasure of raising my children? <br /><br />So when I did find the right man, we married. When we started trying to get pregnant, I quit work. I was 29 when I got married, and 31 when I had my first child. I homeschool for obvious reasons, but also because I want to spend as much time with my kids as I can before they are grown and out my care. I have so little time with them before that happens. I want no one else to have that pleasure. It's a no brainer. It wasn't anything to discuss. I want to raise my kids, period! <br /><br />Theresa<br />
Staff
2014-10-22T17:59:00Z
Found a Silver Lining in Betrayal
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Found-a-Silver-Lining-in-Betrayal/681538782436770992.html
2014-10-21T17:59:00Z
2014-10-21T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I devoured my copy of your book, "Surviving a Shark Attack on Land" in just a day and a half. I want to share how your program and book has helped me "bury the hatchet." <br /><br />My husband and I were very close friends with a group of people throughout our early twenties. I will say right now, these friends labeled themselves as very liberal. I was under the impression they were pro-live-your-life-however-you-want, but my husband and I learned they were really "pro-live-your-life-however-we-think-you-should." About 8 months after we were married, we found out we were pregnant. We were stable, financially, emotionally, and physically. We had set ourselves up from the start of our marriage for me to be able to be a stay-at-home mom, but thought this was a few years out. Life had other plans. We were both a little overwhelmed, and went to our friends for support. We got the complete opposite, one of them actually said, "That sucks. We probably aren't going to be friends much longer. Are you going to keep the baby?" My husband and I got very upset, he told them off, and we left. I just couldn't understand it, they were always talking about how accepting people needed to be of lifestyle choices, how kind people should be to those of different cultures. But here, my husband and I were choosing a conservative, stay-at-home-mom, focus on the family lifestyle, and I was told how I was throwing away my college degree I had worked so hard for, wasting my time, becoming a 'kept woman,' losing my identity, and they just couldn't be friends with that. I felt so betrayed. People I thought who were so close, abandoned us with such ease. <br /><br />After my son was born, I couldn't imagine life without this little boy, and I now saw those "friends" through lenses of pity rather than anger. I realized how ironic and hypocritical these people were. I realized this, conservative, stay-at-home-mommy, family-focused, husband's girlfriend, was actually more accepting of different cultures, lifestyles, and people, than they pretended to be....how eye opening. <br /><br />Your program helped me live a life of "revenge" by being happy and untouchable by their previous judgments. Your book helped me realize two things: <br /><br /><ol>
<li>I knew what kind of people these friends were and yet I stayed friends with them before our pregnancy. I am taking some responsibility in finding and retaining friendships with people of this character.</li>
<br />
<li>After their betrayal I found new wonderful friends, and through those friends I found a new fulfilling hobby I wouldn't have ever thought of. </li>
</ol><br />So thank you, your book helped me find that "silver lining" in betrayal that you spoke of, and it also helped me take some responsibility for my part in everything. The hatchet is buried! <br /><br />My husband's girlfriend, kid's mommy, and your happy and grateful listener, <br /><br />Dani<br /><br />
Staff
2014-10-21T17:59:00Z
Why I NEVER Want a Mom's Day Gift
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-I-NEVER-Want-a-Moms-Day-Gift/395297679766516179.html
2014-10-20T17:59:00Z
2014-10-20T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I've been married to my man for 22 years and we have a 19-year-old daughter. I have been a stay-at-home mom since the day we got married. As a young bride and mom, I always wanted a Mother's Day gift -- and I was sort of a brat about it. <br /><br />About 5 years ago, I realized my hard-working husband gave me the best gift ever...GETTING to stay home and raise our wonderful daughter. What an AMAZING gift! I cannot believe it took me that long realize this. The day it dawned on my thick skull, I called my husband and told him he never had to buy me any gift ever again -- The gift of raising our daughter was more than I will ever need. He was blown away. I thank him on every holiday and even when it isn't a holiday for this special gift. Sure, he still buys me wonderful things, but never because I ask for them or expect them. I'm forever grateful for the gift of being a stay-at-home mom. <br /><br />Thanks Dr. Laura for knocking sense into me from time to time. <br /><br />Cassie<br />
Staff
2014-10-20T17:59:00Z
A Mother Son Outing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Mother-Son-Outing/-817059761573510528.html
2014-10-17T17:59:00Z
2014-10-17T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been listening to your words of wisdom and winsome whit for many years. I recently mastered the podcast iPhone technology and am plugged in to your show every day while I exercise. The time flies by now!<br /><br />Our 23-year-old, unmarried son is just about finished with his university education. He has moved out of our home into his first new place. To keep our relationship strong, he and I now go on periodic "dates", just "mother and son" outings, similar to the "daughter and father" dates I did with my dad after my cherished mom passed away. <br /><br />Our son is very used to me occasionally forwarding him select pearls of wisdom from your show which best relate to his stage of life. I have relayed to him more than once your story of how you would "crawl over broken glass" to get to your son's house for Christmas dinner.<br /><br />My son recently took me on a very unique date to a restaurant in which there was absolutely no light inside during the entire meal. All of the servers were non-sighted. The entire evening was spent in pitch blackness. It was a very unique experience, and one which obviously fostered a lot of verbal communication. At home, I sent a text thanking him for a wonderful time. He texted back, agreeing it was a very interesting dining experience and said, "I'm glad I got to share it with my favorite girl." With tears in my eyes, I replied, "Well, that is just the nicest thing a mom could ever hear from her son." Then remembering your admiration for your son, I added, "Dr. Laura would die if I told her!!" With obvious great value placed on your worth, garnered from years of earned respect, my son quickly retorted, "Well, we don't want to kill Dr. Laura!!" It was priceless.<br /><br />Shani
Staff
2014-10-17T17:59:00Z
The Courage to Confront a Bullying Dad!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Courage-to-Confront-a-Bullying-Dad!/-954584986701904399.html
2014-10-16T17:59:00Z
2014-10-16T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Recently, I was on the beach at the Jersey Shore for a late summer vacation. I watched 2 little brothers approximately 7 and 4 in ages, rough-housing appropriately in the surf. The cigarette smoking father watched from about 10-15 strides away. The "wife" was there too, but not watching the kiddie wrestling scene. Next, the 4-year-old took hold of the 7-year-old's face with his little finger nails. It seemed it was the only defense he could bring to the fight to offset the bigger brother who kept knocking him down again and again and again. From a 4-year-old's stand point, it seemed pretty logical to me. <br /><br />I think the proper adult intervention would have been to go over break up the talon snatching and insert a little pearl of a life lesson. BUT....enter the amped up, jacked up, Mohawk sporting "dad". He gunned down to the surf grabbed the 4-year-old by the head, yoked him, shook him and threw him to the ground and exclaimed, "There will be NO FIGHTING!" Then he basically did the same thing to the older kid; shaking him and knocking him down too. When the kids got up, he knocked them down again. That was it...you, Dr. Laura, appeared in my mind and in my voice. I sprang up from my prostrate, sunbathing position and hauled ass to the scene. Well, you can imagine what ensued next. The bloke got all nervous that I called him out. I was YELLING so loud, I lost it. My husband slithered into the scene for protection and tried to diffuse the situation because the offender was a loose cannon and was making threats to me. The wife was fumbling and embarrassed; it was horrible. The idiot packed up the family and stormed off the beach calling back lewd insults about my anatomy. Jerk. I made a police report. There were witnesses. <br /><br />I have more courage today and more self-respect than I have ever had because of you Dr. Laura. I am not afraid to stand up for what is right. Dr. Laura, thank you. You are a rock star and I truly respect and admire who you are and who you call us to be. God bless you and your good work always. <br /><br />Mechele</p>
Staff
2014-10-16T17:59:00Z
My Stay-at-Home Mom Story
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Stay-at-Home-Mom-Story/-510063679342245808.html
2014-10-15T17:59:00Z
2014-10-15T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I had my very first and only child at the age of 39. I worked my whole life and my husband travels with our business. With that said, we decided that I would stay at home and raise our daughter. As hard as it was being out of the work force at first, it has been the most rewarding experience in my life and she is my biggest accomplishment that I would never have had, had I stayed working an hour away from home. <br /><br />She woke up every morning to a high protein, healthy, hot breakfast; lunches were homemade and dinner was on the table every night. She attended a Lutheran School through middle school which I transported her to and from every day. For eight years, she played piano and I sat and waited for her every single Tuesday in my car. She danced and eventually joined a company and that led to traveling around the country. <br /><br />I was chastised by many "working" moms. They would ask, "What do you do all day? I would go crazy being at home." Well, my beautiful daughter graduated top honors in middle school, graduated second in her high school and now is a sophomore in the honors program at University of Michigan studying bio-chemistry on a premed track. I have never been more proud, gratified, and fulfilled with an experience that I have cherished every single day. Again, she is my biggest accomplishment and I would not trade one moment. <br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura for supporting and encouraging mothers to stay at home. To all the working moms who thought I did nothing, "How do you like me now?" <br /><br />Ava<br /><br /></p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-10-15T17:59:00Z
My Mom - More Than I Ever Could Imagine
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Mom---More-Than-I-Ever-Could-Imagine/492976568627528407.html
2014-10-14T17:59:00Z
2014-10-14T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am 17 years old and am in my senior year of high school. In the past two years my mother and I have gotten increasingly close, which I am so thankful for. We are both avid listeners and you have taught me some valuable lessons - and given my mother some really great advice too. <br /><br />These past few months, I have become increasingly irritable towards my mother, and I feel terrible about it. It's not that she necessarily does something specific, but I just get so frustrated when she doesn't "understand me", when half of the time she does. I am reaching out to you because she listens to your podcasts daily. I was wondering if on one of your little side commentary things that you do, could you maybe say something that would let her know she is the best mom in the world, and that I love her, and everything she does for me. For example, "Darla, your daughter wanted me to say, she loves you and you're the best mother she could ever have." I know that this is a very strange request, but I need to do something very meaningful to my mother for she does way more for me than I could ever imagine. <br /><br />Thank you so much for your time! <br /><br />Kayleigh</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-10-14T17:59:00Z
Pearls of Doing It Right
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Pearls-of-Doing-It-Right/265442752204328525.html
2014-10-13T17:59:00Z
2014-10-13T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am the former stay-at-home mom of 4 children who are now young adults. I can firmly say that luck had nothing to do with my ability to be at home with the kids for 23 years. It began when my husband and I were dating and we started to talk seriously about marriage. At that time he stated, "When we have kids, I want you to be home with them and raise them." Before the ring I knew his expectations and agreed with them even though it meant moving away from the expensive city I grew up in and my family and CHOOSING to live in the city he grew up in because the cost of living was lower and would allow our kids to still have loving grandparents in their lives. Living on one salary was not easy, no expensive vacations, no luxury cars, we dealt with his job losses and health issues through those years, but still we had fun. <br /><br />I recently returned to work. It was out of necessity, not boredom, and while I was scared to death to return to an office job after 23 years, it has turned out to be a surprisingly wonderful, energizing "shot in the arm" for my life. My intent has always been to raise my children to be capable adults, but I had no idea how traumatic it would be to my psyche to actually accomplish that goal! <br /><br />Here is a post my daughter made on her Facebook page on her last birthday. It truly is one of those "pearls" we get from our children and because it was an unexpected affirmation that every sacrifice my husband and I made over the years was well worth it: <br /><br /></p>
<blockquote>Thank you so much for all of the birthday wishes!! To me, this day is just as much about celebrating my parents. Thanking them for the love and commitment they have maintained for one another throughout my life. The love that gave me life, and continues to give me joy every time I see how much they still love each other. Thanking them for the sacrifices they've made in order to make my life easier and more enjoyable. So Mom and Dad, today I celebrate YOU. Thank you, from the tops of the skies to the bottoms of the oceans. I love you.</blockquote>
Ginny<br /><br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-10-13T17:59:00Z
I Married a Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Married-a-Man/118155528677630368.html
2014-10-10T17:59:00Z
2014-10-10T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br /></p>
Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br /> I love being a wife, mother and girlfriend. I recently had a "Gone with the Wind" moment. <br /><br />I returned home from a week long stressful trip in the early hours of the morning. As my husband gets up at 4am to go to work, he was in bed asleep. I love to wake up when he does, make him breakfast, pack his lunch and send him off. This is one thing he also truly appreciates. I had only been asleep about 2 hours when I heard my husband up and in the shower. Surely he would understand me sleeping in or I could get up and do this small thing for him then sleep later. I got up and proceeded downstairs to the kitchen. I was not quite finished with his meals when he came into the kitchen. Because of my late arrival, we had not had a chance to say hello yet. He looked at me lovingly, kissed me extremely passionately, picked me up, carried me all the way upstairs, laid me gently in the bed, tucked me in, kissed me again sweetly, said he loved me and left for work. I married a MAN and tonight I will be more than his girlfriend.<br /><br /> Thanks Dr. Laura for all the advice you give. Making your spouse happy is the most wonderful thing in the world! I love that man! <br /><br /> Toni
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-10-10T17:59:00Z
Raising Well-Behaved Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-Well-Behaved-Kids/-986798853647254527.html
2014-10-09T17:59:00Z
2014-10-09T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />If you want well-behaved kids, model the behavior you expect. If you don't want your child to lie, don't lie. If you want your child to be kind to others, be kind. If you want your child to be helpful, give them things to help you with at a very young age and continue to expect help with things as they grow-up. Model reading and doing homework. Children usually want to do what their parents do and copy the behavior. If you lose your temper when you don't get your way, expect that behavior in your child. <br /><br />When my children got into the middle grades, if I asked them to do something and it did not happen, they could expect the same behavior from me. They may want dinner or their clothes laundered, or ride at certain time, but if I had to wait for a request, so did they. Problems rarely occurred. We usually had a very peaceful household. <br /><br />Mary</p>
Staff
2014-10-09T17:59:00Z
Go Be a Mom to Your Babies
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Go-Be-a-Mom-to-Your-Babies/289062070754054305.html
2014-10-08T17:59:00Z
2014-10-08T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv2327662316msoplaintext">I thought of you this morning when I came into work and logged onto my computer to see an article on our company's intranet site. The article spoke of a fellow employee, a mother, who recently lost her 1-year-old son due to an accident at the child's day care. Currently, our company is sponsoring a 100 day walking challenge and this mother spoke of how this walking challenge is helping her cope with the loss of her boy.</p>
<p class="yiv2327662316msoplaintext">It is stories like these that make me thankful for my mom who stayed home with all four of her kids and for my dad who worked so hard to make that possible. I do not have the honor of being a mother yet, but I know when that time comes, I will not waste those precious years at work. I will spend my days with my children reading, snuggling, making home-made play-dough and stamps out of potatoes like my mom did with my sisters and me. Those memories are so special to me and I will treasure them always.</p>
<p class="yiv2327662316msoplaintext">Instead of being my coworker, go be a mom to your babies. I look forward to the day when I get to turn in my pink slip and put on my mommy hat.</p>
<p class="yiv2327662316msoplaintext">Sincerely,</p>
<p class="yiv2327662316msoplaintext">Libby</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-10-08T17:59:00Z
Final Days Will Be Richer
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Final-Days-Will-Be-Richer/213152436760017706.html
2014-10-07T17:59:00Z
2014-10-07T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I had the sweetest, most loving mom on the face of the earth. She was the most gracious lady and even more gracious when she was dying. My mom was diagnosed with 2 brain tumors in Dec. 2005. During the next 17 months, she lived with me, my husband and the kids we were in the process of adopting. She rebounded somewhat and was able to function on a slower pace. We spent her last 17 months making wonderful memories in spite of her grim prognosis, making sure laugh daily. My kids learned lessons that could never be taught in school. <br /><br />In March 2007, she was given the devastating news that her brain tumors had multiplied to 8. While I was trying to breathe, she calmly asked the doctor what kind of death she would have. Always the mom and grandma, she wanted to know if anything traumatic would happen to her that would negatively impact my kids.<br /><br />I don't remember much of the sad times taking care of my mom, but I sure do remember the fun times and wonderful conversations we had during those last 17 months. Those memories are what get me through the times when I miss her so much that I have a hard time breathing. Laugh, cry, joke around, dream, cherish, and love every experience. Your family and friends' final days will be richer for it. <br /><br />Marian</p>
Staff
2014-10-07T17:59:00Z
Standing for What Is Right
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Standing-for-What-Is-Right/-745309586653931572.html
2014-10-06T17:59:00Z
2014-10-06T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />I recently had a friend tell me I was a very polarizing person. After it came out of her mouth, she was very embarrassed, tried to tell me how many people love me, and that I shouldn't worry about people not liking me. I responded: "I know I am polarizing. I know many people avoid me because I live a way that doesn't just accept wrong as right. I am OK with it because I have to live with myself and teach my kids that we must stand for something. Not everyone is going to like us. We must do what is right first. People who do right will find each other. We are not as alone as we feel. Dr. Laura has taught me well." <br /><br />With you, good parents who taught me well, and a wonderful husband who also lives that way, I am blessed with a wonderful life surrounded by others who do right. Thank you for all of your work and I pray you and your wisdom live forever. <br /><br />Janice</p>
Staff
2014-10-06T17:59:00Z
Blunt But Golden
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Blunt-But-Golden/264590075058870069.html
2014-10-03T19:41:00Z
2014-10-03T19:41:00Z
<p><br /><br /></p>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412364331359_5448">Dr. Laura, <br class="yiv3123236231" /><br class="yiv3123236231" />I remember the first time I ever heard you, I thought "TURN OFF THE RADIO, TURN OFF THE RADIO." You sounded <span id="yiv3123236231misspell-1" class="yiv3123236231mark">soooooo</span> scary! Really mean. Downright mean! And I turned the radio off. <br class="yiv3123236231" /><br class="yiv3123236231" />My sister had given me one of your books, "10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives," but I didn't think it really pertained to me. I used to show my "cool" liberal friends the book and laugh, exclaiming, "This is the kind of sister, I have!" </div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412364331359_5449"> </div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412364331359_5450">I knew your reputation. I voted against you without even listening to you. Well, finally I listened to a full program. And then another and another. Now I listen every day. I understand, what you are doing. I can hear how much you have helped a lot of people. I even called once. It was an honor to speak with you. We are lucky to have someone like you who tells it like it is. No, it's not mean, it's not, scary -- well maybe a little -- It's blunt, yes, but, most of all it's GOLDEN. It's wisdom. It's amazing. Smart. And kind too. <br class="yiv3123236231" /><br class="yiv3123236231" />But what I love the most is when you sing. When you sing along to <span id="yiv3123236231misspell-2" class="yiv3123236231mark">Efim's</span> music, just a little. It is so sweet to hear. Thanks Dr. Laura for all you do!<br class="yiv3123236231" /><br class="yiv3123236231" />Denise</div>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-10-03T19:41:00Z
Using It as a Weapon Instead of Building a Bond
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Using-It-as-a-Weapon-Instead-of-Building-a-Bond/688142483497817551.html
2014-10-02T17:59:00Z
2014-10-02T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hey Dr. Laura; <br /><br />Thank you for sticking up for us men! I really am truly amazed that you do, being a woman and all. It seems every woman in my sphere is on the man-hater band wagon and it is always a war. Especially in my marriage, where sex in particular is used as a weapon more than part of a loving relationship to build a bond. This is why it blows my mind when you take the man's side when a woman caller says their husband wants sex all the time, but they dole it out once a month - need it or not. <br /><br />I'm going to get your premium membership so I can download your podcasts and play them to my wife while she sleeps - maybe there will be that subconscious effect. I know what you're thinking, "Have you tried talking to her?" YES, and she says we do it more than any of her man-hating friends. Poor them. <br /><br />You are truly one of a kind...unfortunately. Thanks and keep up the good work! <br /><br />Dave</p>
Staff
2014-10-02T17:59:00Z
Avoiding an Affair
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Avoiding-an-Affair/-236556535753842008.html
2014-10-01T17:59:00Z
2014-10-01T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Affairs are very avoidable. No one can come between two people who love and take good care of each other. So, choose your spouse wisely, then don't be selfish and lazy. Affairs happen when one or the other partner feels neglected in some significant way. Your advice to wake up each day asking how I can make my spouse happy to be alive and that he/she is married to me totally nails it.</p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1412187255823_26108" class="yiv3834056529MsoNormal">Dale</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-10-01T17:59:00Z
It's Called Sacrifice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Called-Sacrifice/53811381143609295.html
2014-09-30T17:59:00Z
2014-09-30T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />I am a stay-at-home mom. That was a decision I made long before I became a mom and before I met my husband. <br /><br />When my husband and I were dating and talking about marriage, I clearly remember the day this topic came up. I said that after we were married and looking to buy a house, we would base the home price off his income only and not ours combined. That way when we had children, I could quit my full-time job to stay home with the kids and we could still afford the mortgage. His eyes got huge and he was quiet for a while. He said but we could buy a much bigger house if we both worked after having kids and that's a lot of pressure to put on me to be the sole provider. I calmly explained I wasn't having kids so I could pay to have someone else raise them. He thought about this for a couple of days and then said you're right. He came from a broken home and was put in day care and he hated it. <br /><br />Now, I am a happy mother of a 16-month-old son and I have been able to stay home with him from day one, but this has NOT been easy financially! There's only one word to describe how we do this and it's called SACRIFICE. We sacrifice something almost daily to do this. For example, we bought a small townhouse instead of a single family home. I don't have a smart phone because it's too expensive, we eat out on only special occasions, and we had to cut way back on hobbies. And the list could go on and on. But we enjoy the little things and it's a small price to pay for the happiness we get from being together and knowing that this is such a short time to have these precious moments with our child. <br /><br />What bothers me is when I hear other moms say things like "I'm lucky I get to stay home" or "We just can't afford for me to stop working." Luck has nothing to do with it. Again, it's called sacrifice. Like you say over and over again on your program, there is ALWAYS a way. <br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura for being the biggest stay at home mom advocate! You helped me pick a wonderful husband who works hard for our family and you reaffirm daily that staying at home with my son is the best thing for us! <br /><br />Karly </p>
Staff
2014-09-30T17:59:00Z
My Mom and Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Mom-and-Dr.-Laura/-56060114651926414.html
2014-09-29T17:59:00Z
2014-09-29T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I love listening to your show and even though we don't have a fancy car with SiriusXM, I splurge each year to subscribe via the website so I can listen to the podcast on my phone or around the house. <br /><br />I smile every time you say, "Choose wisely - treat kindly." You would get along so well with my mom. Her version of the same advice as I was growing up was "Choose your love - love your choice." I'm happy to say I took her advice. Even once I left home to go to college, I stuck to our simple family rule that if a guy wanted to date me, he had to ask my father's permission. This automatically eliminated 90% of the boys who were jerks or cowards. After getting to know me for a few weeks around campus, my now-husband asked me out for Valentine's Day dinner on a REAL DATE and, sure enough, called to ask my dad. "Sure!" my dad replied. "Make reservations for four and we'll meet you there at 7:30." So our first real date was with my parents. My dad had a man-to-man talk with him about what dating meant and didn't mean, and my husband proved his character in the way he handled that first serious conversation. <br /><br />We are now celebrating ten years of marriage, with five beautiful children and I have a man I am proud to love, trust and call the father of our children. He respects and values me, earning my love. He is a man of honor, character, integrity, responsibility, and worthy of the utmost admiration and respect. I chose my love well. <br /><br />And now I love my choice well. Thank you for all you do encouraging women to be picky. To let the dirt sift away and hold out for the gold. To remember that who they choose deserves their best each day. I have the best husband in the world and I never want him to feel less-than because of me. Keep up the excellent work, Dr. Laura. And I'll keep smiling each time you remind me of my mommy. <br /><br />Angela<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2014-09-29T17:59:00Z
How Cheating Saved My Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Cheating-Saved-My-Marriage/-917585549062233297.html
2014-09-26T17:59:00Z
2014-09-26T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My husband and I are high school sweethearts and this past January, we celebrated 20 years as each other's boyfriend/girlfriend. This past June we celebrated 11 years of being husband and wife. <br /><br />About 5 years ago I happened to see a text on my husband's phone as he had left it out while he was in the shower. To my shock it was from another woman and it was NOT simply being friendly. I confronted him about it and after a brief discussion asked him to leave our home for the night. He obliged and I cried. The next morning, after dropping our children at vacation bible school, he came home and we talked and talked and talked. Long story short, the outcome of that discussion was either we were going to counseling to try and fix it, or go to attorneys to end it. As you can tell he chose his family, and I was grateful. <br /><br />The most important thing I learned as we worked through the affair and the repairing of our marriage is that I was also at fault. My husband took full responsibility for his actions, but that other person would not have been attractive to my husband if I was being sweet, loving, and the wife/girlfriend he needed instead of the saggy/naggy mommy/housekeeper, chief complainer every time he walked through the door. I am proud to say I am my husband's girlfriend again and have been every day since that awful text message was found. The reward is at least twice a day he is texting ME little love notes and sometimes just a little something to get the engine primed for later. <br /><br />There is Facebook post from a man married for 50+ years. When a young man asked him how he and his wife made it that far his answer was simple, "We believe in fixing things that may be broken instead of just tossing them out!" <br /><br />Thank you for all you do and for being my daily reminder to be my husband's girlfriend! <br /><br />Maria </p>
Staff
2014-09-26T17:59:00Z
Life Beyond 40, 50, and 60!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Life-Beyond-40,-50,-and-60!/-193329352404386256.html
2014-09-25T17:59:00Z
2014-09-25T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been a listener since your days of AM radio - and even though I often cringe when you pinch a listener's head off, most of the time I agree with you. <br /><br />As a young woman, I trained long and hard to become a professional dancer. It was my joy and passion!! I had some success, dancing on tv, in movies and a lot of professional theater productions. When I married a wonderful man and we were blessed with 2 beautiful little girls, it became obvious that my daughters needed a mommy more than I needed to perform. I have heard the definition of sacrifice is "giving up something good for something better." For me, the "something better" was providing my husband and children with a happy, stable home environment. So, with a heavy heart, I chose to give up my dancing career, knowing that there would be no going back as the window of time for a dancer is very small. For years, I tried to fill the void with teaching, choreographing, donating time to Community Theater and doing small professional dance projects. <br /><br />My husband and I raised our girls to become morally strong women. They chose good men to marry and have presented us with our 7 perfect grandchildren. <br /><br />And then at age 60, I found ballroom dancing! It was REALLY hard at first, but eventually the old muscle memory came back, the pounds fell off and after decades, I began to experience again the JOY in performing challenging, but beautiful dance routines. My coach decided it was time to start competing. Yikes! We began to compete in the Pro/Am division - I dance with my coach. He's the Pro and I'm the Am. Slowly my skills and confidence returned. I never could have imagined what lie ahead. Last year, at age 66, I won a World Title! I was crowned, "World Open Gold Senior Pro/Am Rhythm Champion." The 5 rhythm dances are: Cha-cha, Rumba, East Coast Swing, Bolero and Mambo. I was thrilled beyond words. Many other doors have opened since then - too many to mention here. <br /><br />I tell this story to let young women know, there is life - and even fulfilled dreams - beyond your child rearing years. Thankfully, my talented daughters have also chosen to put their own careers on hold to raise our grandchildren. <br /><br />Thank you for continuing to be a "mommy and child advocate". Your message is needed in the world, now more than ever. <br /><br />With admiration from a very happy and fulfilled listener, <br /><br />Bunny<br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/eod_092514.jpg" alt="" /><br /><br /> </p>
Staff
2014-09-25T17:59:00Z
Putting His Needs and Wants Ahead of My Own
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Putting-His-Needs-and-Wants-Ahead-of-My-Own/-291841210399443516.html
2014-09-24T17:59:00Z
2014-09-24T17:59:00Z
<br />
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Last year, you and I had a discussion about where my sweetie and I would have our marriage nuptials. While I preferred the intimate setting of a beach wedding, he said he could not imagine getting married anywhere without his family and friends present. Your response was 'He's telling you what he wants! Please don't be a bitch before he even carries you over the threshold.' So I played your podcast for him that night and he sort of chuckled and gave me a smile. <br /><br />I just had my 30th birthday, and I cannot tell you how thrilled I am I put so much emphasis on looking for a MAN with character and integrity who I can count on to "do the right thing." And I have to give credit to your program for setting the bar so high. I've been listening to your program since I was a kid and it always struck a chord with me when you would talk about choosing wisely. <br /><br />Last month, on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, I took a moment to look out my friend's bedroom window onto a backyard filled with about 150 smiling faces of our closest family and friends... and one very happy groom. That day I married a strong, caring, and loving man who surely would swim through shark infested waters to bring me a lemonade. We said our vows to each other and I can't help but realize how many of the things I promised had echoed in my ears from your radio show. Things like, to always be his girlfriend, to support him in the big decisions and to let go of the little things. How I would communicate promptly with him, to speak kindly to him, and to be patient and forgiving. I promised to make our family's love and happiness my priority and to be his biggest fan. <br /><br />Dr. Laura, I'm not writing to you to tell you how happy I am that you talked some sense into me last year (although I am) or about how I never realized how meaningful it was to have everyone we cared about the most there to support us (although I do)... I'm writing because I want to thank you for leading me to the decision which ended up being my first gift to my husband as man and wife. That was the gift of compromise. To put his needs and wants ahead of my own. And on that day, as we promised to spend our lives together, I got a gift as well. On that day, as I looked in his eyes, and I knew I made him happy. What a great feeling, and even better, what a great first marriage lesson. <br /><br />Lots of hugs, <br /><br />Amber<br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/eod_092414.jpg" alt="" /> </p>
Staff
2014-09-24T17:59:00Z
I USED to Get Offended
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-USED-to-Get-Offended/-142597012549080196.html
2014-09-23T17:59:00Z
2014-09-23T17:59:00Z
<br />
<p><br />Dear Dr Laura, <br /><br />I am a single mother who never bothered to marry. I have 3 kids ranging from 7-14. I used to get offended when I would hear you say things about mothers who worked. I thought "Hey, I am a single mother, I HAVE to work. How can she judge me? She doesn't know what I've been through." I have listened to you for years and, over these last few, I have seen exactly what you are saying and why you are saying it. <br /><br />Men and women alike are so wrapped up in our own crap, we can't see everything we do impacts our children. I am sure my kids don't think "Look what my poor mom has been through." No, they are kids and what they see is that they are fatherless because of MY choices. They see I am NOT there since I have to work because of my choices and they are the ones paying for it. The pain of seeing your children fatherless runs deep and it grieves me deeply to leave my children to go to work. I used to think my teenagers wouldn't need me, but to the contrary, my daughter has expressed just how much she wants me to pick them up from school and be there for field trips. Nothing is more important to me than my children. The decisions I made as a teenager ended up not only hurting me, but my children. <br /><br />I think ALL of your listeners who have a father for their children yet treat him like crap should be unbelievably grateful for what they have and what it means to have that intact family for the children. I now see how important it is for Mom to be there with the kids daily. I think I have always known, but was angry, hurt and so blinded I couldn't see what mattered. <br /><br />I am working to become a stay-at-home mom as soon as possible, so I WILL be the first person they see when they come home from school. I will no longer be in a hurry in the morning rushing to get all of us to our locations on time. I will be happier, more content, and most importantly a better momma to these kids because even though they don't have a dad in their life they will always know I am the one constant and nothing or no one will ever come before them. <br /><br />And to the people who say there is NO WAY they can stay home, there is always a way. You MAKE a way. The memories I make and the lasting impression I will have on these children are all that matters to me. <br /><br />Your words have meant much more then you know. Thank you so much. <br /><br />Alexis<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2014-09-23T17:59:00Z
Understanding the Pain My Step-Daughter Had
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Understanding-the-Pain-My-Step-Daughter-Had/-189875551422991317.html
2014-09-22T17:59:00Z
2014-09-22T17:59:00Z
<br />
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />People always tell you how you have "changed their lives". I want to share with you a glimpse of how you actually have. Since September of 2013 I have been a regular podcast listener and find so much wisdom, peace and comfort listening to you with my ear buds. <br /><br />Ten years ago, I started knitting. I began making a very large blanket for my son, but stopped working on it 4 years ago. After hearing you say how important hobbies are, I pulled out my son's blanket and finished it within 2 weeks. I have since completed a blanket for my daughter, another for the same son and now I am making one for my 25-year-old step-daughter. Dr. Laura, this is HUGE. I NEVER liked my step-daughter and there was always a lot of animosity between the two of us. After hundreds of hours of listening to you, I realized after I married her father and made a new baby with him, how very devastating this was for her. I finally understood how much angst and pain we put her through. I told my husband I finally realized how much anger and sadness we caused her. I am very excited to complete this blanket and give it to her when she comes to visit this Christmas. <br /><br />Without your wisdom, I would not be at this place of complete understanding and compassion for this once little girl who was so hurt. I plan on sharing with her why I came to this understanding and I had no idea of what she was really going through. You, Dr. Laura get full credit for my mature change of heart and she will most certainly know this. <br /><br />You have transformed me into a mom and wife who finally took control of my angry outbursts. My family has witnessed this change. I now wear sexy nightwear to bed every night which my husband loves! I am much more intimate with my husband and I tell him, you can thank Dr. Laura! I have given him full permission to remind me, "You're not acting like my girlfriend" if I get out of line. Both my mother and husband on separate occasions have mentioned that the biggest life changing thing in my life was, "Dr. Laura". I am a better person by far because of all the many things you taught me. <br /><br />Much love to you and the magnificent woman you are to all of us, <br /><br />Suzanne <br /><br /></p>
Staff
2014-09-22T17:59:00Z
Who's That Bitchy Lady?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Whos-That-Bitchy-Lady/517097437950770124.html
2014-09-19T16:13:00Z
2014-09-19T16:13:00Z
<br />
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Ten days ago my alcoholic husband announced to me he was quitting drinking and beginning AA. I said to him, "So, what was the tipping point?" To which he responded, "I don't even want to admit this. Who's that bitchy lady you always make me listen to on long car rides? Dr. Laura? Well, she said something that stuck with me. She said, 'There is no try. You commit. Trying is for people with no backbone.' Her words stuck with me, rolled around in my head, and wouldn't go away." <br /><br />So, this email is to thank you. Thank you for being that "bitchy lady" who won't accept halfway and demands the presence of a backbone. <br /><br />Jacquelyn</p>
Staff
2014-09-19T16:13:00Z
Becoming a 'Mom' House
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Becoming-a-Mom-House/-679089355684979353.html
2014-09-18T17:59:00Z
2014-09-18T17:59:00Z
<br />
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />A lot happened to make our decision for me to stay at home a final one, but these three things stand out in my mind... <br /><br />First - My husband traveled for his job and I was working at a Fortune 500 company. We would see each other driving on opposite sides on the freeway and wave to each other going to and from work. <br /><br />Second - One day, my care giver called me at work to tell me my son had just lost his first tooth and she and he were very excited! I went into the bathroom and cried. <br /><br />Third - While I was picking up my son at day care, a father walked in to pick up his girls. They turned, smiled, and put their arms out and said, "Daddy". In that instant, my son turned to the man, put his arms out and also said, "Daddy." I thought my heart would break. I really didn't think he thought this man was his dad, or did he? <br /><br />On the hour drive home I asked myself "What are you working for???????" When my husband came home we had a very long talk. It turns out he only agreed because he thought it was what I wanted. And the decision was made for me to stay home. We drove cars until they wouldn't move, we didn't have a huge home nor did we wear designer clothes. Instead we focused on our family and each other. It was the best decision I ever made - besides marrying him. To this day, my boys and their friends talk about how our home was the "Mom" house if anything happen to them, from needing a Band-Aid or just being scared. Our kids need us. It's not so bad driving a 10 year old car; in fact it's worth it! <br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura for all you do! <br /><br />My warmest regard, <br /><br />Georgina </p>
Staff
2014-09-18T17:59:00Z
Abusing an Adult Child
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Abusing-an-Adult-Child/-247559780849450697.html
2014-09-17T17:59:00Z
2014-09-17T17:59:00Z
<br />
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />You're the best! I find it hilariously sad you became a controversial figure just for giving sound common sense advice. I want to thank you for explaining that parents who use their adult children as therapists are abusing them. That has helped me to understand myself so much better. <br /><br />When I was in my late teens and early twenties, my mother used me as a counselor over her marital woes with my father. We'd take long walks and car rides together and she'd unload on me about my dad's workaholism, his neglect of her, and her concerns he was having an affair. She always complimented me on my terrific listening skills and wise advice. This made me feel extremely special and important and I ate it up like a dog to kibble! My mom often would mention she would divorce my dad one day and she and I would live together. She never did. <br /><br />Looking back now, I see how acting as my mom's therapist stunted my growth. It was easier for me to hear her problems than start an adult life of my own -- attending college, getting a job, developing peer relationships, dating. It also harmed my relationship with my father because I saw him as the bad guy and he saw me as my mother's confidant. We didn't trust or like one another. It was only much later in life I realized he was a good and honorable man who had to put up with so much crap from my mother. <br /><br />When I was in my late thirties, my son was diagnosed with autism and then my entire life fell apart. You see, when I needed my mom to be a good listener, compassionate, and loving, she did a disappearing act that would have impressed the best magician! She made it abundantly clear she did not want to hear my story. Because I had always been overly close to her and hadn't developed many friendships, I was totally screwed! Thank God, I had the greatest of husbands! <br /><br />Thank you so very much for enlightening me. I could have attended therapy sessions for years and this issue probably never would have been discussed. I love you. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Nancy</p>
Staff
2014-09-17T17:59:00Z
He Is Not Your Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Is-Not-Your-Dad/-470858122575229055.html
2014-09-16T17:59:00Z
2014-09-16T17:59:00Z
<br />
<p>According to your research and vast knowledge, I should not be married right now. I came from a divorced home and had a baby at the age of 19 who had no father. I met my husband when my first daughter was 6 months old. We got married 15 months later at the age of 21. The marriage was done against the wishes of his family because I WAS A MESS. <br /><br />We fought all the time and I didn't know how to treat him. Going to church cleaned up the drugs and alcohol, but I still didn't know how to be married. I tried to get divorced many times, but I took the advice of my pastor to stay since there was no infidelity and we were safe. Then along came your book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" during year 5 of our marriage. This book helped me so much, but I still could not get over some issues that I thought were his. You see, my dad ran around on my mom all the time and she would always take him back until one day she was served divorce papers. I told myself I would never be the fool who takes back a cheater. When I picked my husband it was because he was the total opposite of my dad. That's what I looked for, but then I treated him like my dad. I was always waiting for him to be unfaithful, always suspicious of him, always on guard to "catch" him so I would not be the fool. <br /><br />I found your podcast and listening to your program I realized I had some major damage to deal with. I then purchased your book "Bad Childhood Good Life." I read it in three days desperately trying to find the answers for my marriage. The book brought me hope. It encouraged me to look ahead and not backwards. Finally I decided to make THE CHANGE. It was either from the book or from your show you told a caller "he is not your dad." Every time my stomach began to turn in knots I would tell myself "he is not your dad", "he chose to marry you", and "you are the one he picked". It was not easy at first to say these things. It was very scary. However, the moment I started to do that, my marriage changed. My husband changed. He was more confident than ever before. He worked harder at his job than ever before. He was happy to come home. He now stares at me with love and desire for me that I have not seen in a long time. I married a good man. He just did not marry a good woman. <br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, for helping me be the girlfriend my husband deserves. With your help I will be able to stop the cycle of dysfunction to be passed on to my 3 daughters. They are worth it, my husband is worth it, and I am worth it. <br /><br />Janine</p>
Staff
2014-09-16T17:59:00Z
What Being a Stay-at-Home Mom Means to Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Being-a-Stay-at-Home-Mom-Means-to-Me/390540714261539305.html
2014-09-15T17:59:00Z
2014-09-15T17:59:00Z
<br />
<p>This morning on our daily walk with my kids, my rambunctious, but ever so sweet, 18-month-old son bent over to smell the flowers in a neighbor's garden. How special is that? I can hardly get his shoes on without him wiggling away, but he stops every single day, to smell the flowers. I am reminded how much I love these kiddos and how grateful I am I get to stop and "smell the roses" with them each and every day. <br /><br />Mommy. I have never been so grateful or proud of a title. Mommy. That means I am the one, day in and day out, who gets to share their laughter and smiles, hold them, and even wipe their snot when they're sick. I am the one who wakes up in the middle of the night to scare away the monsters or hold hair back when the stomach bug has infiltrated the house. My voice is the first good morning and the last whisper in their ears every night when they lay their sweet heads down. When my daughter falls trying out a new bike and she is crying my name, it hurts my insides to see her in any pain, but I know her eyes are searching for the only person who can make her feel better, and that's me. Not just anyone willing to offer comfort- but me- Mommy. <br /><br />You see, growing up, I volunteered in a local family run day care and I witnessed first-hand what can happen. Each night it was one of two options for the vast majority of the kids: Option one - kids were so attached to having fun at the day care and the people who worked there it was impossible to get them to go home without a kicking, screaming, yelling match on both ends. Or worse, option two - the parents arrived so stressed, tired, or busy they hardly noticed their child was waiting with outstretched arms to be embraced in a giant hug only Mommy or Daddy could give. I was only 10 when I started playing with these kids, but even then it broke my heart. Perhaps I am of a different mindset, I mean I knew from day one that I wanted to be a mom more than anything in the world. I can't imagine a world where someone else had these memories with my kids - where someone else had their heart. I am my kids' mom and that means the world to me. <br /><br />Thank you Dr Laura, for your encouragement to be a stay-at-home mom! There is not another job in the world that could compare to these faces, snot and all! <br /><br />Jessica</p>
Staff
2014-09-15T17:59:00Z
Life After Failure
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Life-After-Failure/853354694129705361.html
2014-09-12T17:59:00Z
2014-09-12T17:59:00Z
<br />
<p>Hello, Dr. Laura. <br /><br />I believe the lessons one learns from failing helps us in our daily lives. One of the parenting skills I learned from my father and mother was to encourage your children to make "age-appropriate" decisions. There were six children in my family, and I would expect all six of us would agree that being allowed to make decisions at an early age benefited us greatly as adults. Because we were allowed to make decisions, we quickly learned that with decision-making, there came consequences. By experiencing consequences, we quickly learned that consequences could be positive or negative. <br /><br />By being allowed to make decisions, my siblings and I were given the opportunity to fail, and we did fail many, many times. Failing helped to shape who we became as adults. Failing taught us that it was not an "end-all". There is life after failure. Failing helped build our self-confidence. <br /><br />Norman Vaughan, an explorer who lived to be 100, is known for giving this advice, "Dream big and dare to fail". It served him well, and I try to take his advice to heart even today at the age of 59. <br /><br />Patty</p>
Staff
2014-09-12T17:59:00Z
Stayed at Home and Would Do It Again
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stayed-at-Home-and-Would-Do-It-Again/638318412579662499.html
2014-09-11T17:59:00Z
2014-09-11T17:59:00Z
<br />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />As a listener for over 20 years, I have heard countless people discuss situations that could have been avoided had they only listened to you earlier. I put myself in that camp because many of my young adult decisions were immature, inappropriate, impulsive and irrational. However, there is one decision I made almost 17 years ago that I have never regretted; the decision to stay home with my 3 children. <br /><br />I was a school social worker prior to giving birth to our first son and at the time, my husband and I planned for me to return to work and place our son in day care. One night, while holding my newborn, I became overwhelmed with sadness and anxiety at the thought of our precious son being placed in the care of complete strangers. With tears rolling down my face, I said "I can't leave him and go back to work", to which my husband responded, "We'll figure it out." And we did. <br /><br />I worked part-time in the evenings to contribute to the finances. I sacrificed my credentials and experience, but provided consistency, attention and friendships with other families in the same boat. After we had two more children, I continued to work part-time and be very active in their schools. As my children grew up, it became obvious that both of my boys had special needs. I knew I needed to be available and present in all areas of their lives. <br /><br />Sadly, my husband died 18 months ago. I am grateful my husband supported and promoted our stay-at-home choice. It was THE BEST parenting decision we ever made together. Today I began a full-time job as a school social worker - my hours are the same as when my kids are in school. Ironically, the position is only for one year as the woman I replace is on maternity leave with 3 children under the age of 3 at home. I don't know if she is planning on returning to work, but if I had to make it, I'd choose the same one I made 17 years ago. When asked today where I previously worked, I proudly stated I was returning to work after being home for 17 years. It has been the greatest job I've ever had, the most important, and my children have benefited in ways I may never know. <br /><br />Thank you for supporting stay-at-home parents and for promoting it with passion. <br /><br />Laura<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2014-09-11T17:59:00Z
I Put His Feelings First Instead of Mine
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Put-His-Feelings-First-Instead-of-Mine/-516744471756997041.html
2014-09-10T17:59:00Z
2014-09-10T17:59:00Z
<br />
<p>I've been married 14 years. It's fun! However, it hasn't always been. My husband is a general contractor and when the housing market crashed, that was the straw that broke his back! He went through depression, he was mean and grumpy and generally irritated with me and the kids all day, every day. <br /><br />Dr. Laura, your advice on several situations gave me hope and ideas. Your perspective was a life saver. After fighting, crying, trying to get my feelings heard and criticizing him for being so negative, I stopped and realized that he wasn't okay and he needed me. I knew I was a good wife and mother, I needed to act like it without reassurance from him because he wasn't able to give it at the time. <br /><br />I did my best to listen to him, not react, and love him even though he was grumpy and hopeless and negative all the time. One time he even said to me he wasn't sure what love is and whether or not he loved me. He would talk about how bad things were and how spoiled and entitled he thought the kids and I were. He didn't trust me and he seemed suspicious of everything I did. It was hard. It was hurtful, but I knew he was worried, sad and afraid of the future. <br /><br />It was hard at times to be flirty, loving and his #1 fan when he was depressed, but the effort paid off and I didn't even realize how far we've come until recently. Five years after the housing crash, he said he trusts me and knows I love him. You have no idea what a huge thing that was. Not everyone will react the way he did in a hardship situation, but I was so glad I had you and my mom to cheer me on so I could be there for him, encourage him and love him. He is so cute and nice to me now, back to the man I married and I have come to love being his girlfriend. <br /><br />If I had continued fighting for MY feelings to be heard, we would be divorced. That's not to say my feelings weren't important, it just confirms that taking care of your spouse's feelings first is always a winner. Instead, he hears my feelings all the time now and loves me deeply. I had to be patient, wait, and love him. I also had to realize his anger and negative feelings were really hurt and worry. I texted or told him in person everyday how "hot" he was, or how he was fun to be around, or how I can't wait to see him later that night, or simply "how is your day going?" It did wonders for him, but even more, it changed me into a better wife. It was worth it!! He puts me above any woman he comes across with compliments and admiration, and I know he secretly thinks I'm his whole world. <br /><br />Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your advice and to-the-point comments. You really get it. <br /><br />Karen</p>
Staff
2014-09-10T17:59:00Z
The Change Started with Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Change-Started-with-Me/-89670677132714091.html
2014-09-09T17:59:00Z
2014-09-09T17:59:00Z
<br />
<p>Hi, Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been married for 10 years and have two little girls that are my world. When I got married I was only 18 years old. My mother-in-law and I did not get along very well. I felt like she didn't care for me all that much because I was taking her son away. This made me act out towards her and not be a very nice person. <br /><br />Two years after we married, we had our first daughter. I realized then that not only was she my little girl, she was also my mother-in-law's first grandchild. <br /><br />As a young mother, I felt like I had a lot to prove. I wanted to be someone my daughter could look up to. I was listening to your show and heard you talking to a caller about what she was doing wrong in her relationship and what she could change. Even though you were talking about a spouse, I thought about my relationship with my mother-in-law and something clicked. I knew I had to make a change in myself and make more of an effort with her. I started doing more things to include her and make her feel like part of our new little family rather than keeping her on the outside. It didn't happen all at once, but the more I tried, and the more effort I put in, the closer we got. Also the more I tried, the more she tried. We are now closer than ever. I love her like a mother and could not ask for a better grandmother for my children. If I would not have heard you on the show that day, I don't know if our relationship would have changed or not. I hate to think about the relationship I would have missed out on if I did not make a change in myself. Even worse, I could have been keeping my children from the love of their grandmother. I hate that it took me two years to realize what a wonderful person she is. <br /><br />How amazing is it that the change really did start with me. <br /><br />Thank you for all your guidance, <br /><br />Maggie</p>
Staff
2014-09-09T17:59:00Z
A 'Picking Wisely' Love Story
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Picking-Wisely-Love-Story/-729980206934402088.html
2014-09-08T17:59:00Z
2014-09-08T17:59:00Z
<br />I was so moved by your words recently on "picking wisely" that I felt compelled to share my story, mostly out of gratitude for how well things have worked. <br /><br />When I was 24, I was shocked out of my frivolous youth with a positive pregnancy test. My boyfriend and I had been dating and obviously sleeping together for about a year without any real talk of marriage. I ignored my conscience and instead convinced myself I could handle the commitment-free sex because I was focused on my job, friends, going back to school, etc. The truth is I was wallowing in the nowhere-ness of my life, non-committal about pretty much everything, and lacking a purpose. My boyfriend was different. He was focused, climbing fast in his career, and attentive to me, his girlfriend, whether I appreciated it or not. It's a wonder he didn't dump me. And then, that pregnancy test changed everything. <br /><br />A family member recommended a counselor to us, to help us decide how to move forward. The counselor met with us together, and separately. In my solo session, she urged me to see the potential in my significant other. She urged me to see the potential in myself, as a mother. She urged me to see how beautiful our life could be, if only I could commit wholeheartedly, to living for my future husband and child. She dismissed my whiney "but I'm not sure I even love him" with a wave of her hand, and posed questions about whether I respected him, whether I trusted him, and whether I trusted myself not to mistreat him. I realized that I was finally being challenged. It was my first test as a mother and future wife. How deep was my love for the life inside me? How big could I commit to providing a loving home for us all? Well, I am not one to turn down a challenge. I had it in me, and I was not going to fail; not myself, not my future husband, and definitely not my baby. <br /><br />Fast forward: we had a courthouse wedding and rented a home. I quit my job, and a baby boy was born, followed two years later by a baby girl. And my husband is the hero to us all. He works 10 hour days AND takes on side projects for extra cash so that I can stay home. At the end of his days, he kisses me first then gets right on the floor to play with our kids. He is grateful for a home cooked meal, and just laughs on the many nights I apologetically order out. He encourages my side hobbies, he is slow to anger, and he is never too tired to read a bedtime story. He doesn't live for himself, but for his family. And I am so grateful for his example to follow, for such a deeply committed and lovable husband. <br /><br />So there you have it. What started as an immature not to mention irresponsible fling, has evolved into committed partnership and love story. And even though it is true that love is not enough, when you've got everything else inside a happy home, it can't help but grow in profusion. <br /><br />Emily
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-09-08T17:59:00Z
A Happy, Fulfilled, Spoiled Stay-at-Home Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Happy,-Fulfilled,-Spoiled-Stay-at-Home-Mom/745817174925434534.html
2014-09-05T17:59:00Z
2014-09-05T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I am raising a smart, funny, content 13-month-old boy without the help of a nanny or a day care. I work from home, eighteen hours per week, with my little guy by my side or most often while he naps. This morning while my son cried, it was ME who was there to soothe him. Then we both moved on to playtime. As he giggled with me over a puzzle, I thought how lucky I am that we spend all of our time together. As my husband says, "He doesn't know the world without you," and it's true. I wouldn't have it any other way.<br /><br />My husband comes home from work to a happy baby, a happy mommy, and a warm home. But we aren't lucky; in fact your show reminds me that both my husband and I work very hard to be able to put our child first. It is a choice, not luck that gives us this happy life. We live in an area where many parents are dual income. We watch while they buy new cars each year, go on lavish vacations, and dump their kids on others while they work on their careers. We do not look to them with envy; instead we enjoy activities like long walks with our sweet boy and German shepherd, picnics in the park and spending time together as a family. I would choose time with my guys over a vacation any day.<br /><br />Thank you for standing up for those of us who choose to be full-time moms; it's the most important job in the world.<br /><br />With gratitude,<br /><br />Kelly, a HAPPY, fulfilled, spoiled stay-at-home mom<br /><br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-09-05T17:59:00Z
With Temptations and Distractions
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/With-Temptations-and-Distractions/672303445537334205.html
2014-09-04T17:59:00Z
2014-09-04T17:59:00Z
Dr. Laura at a bachelor party...<br /><br />I thought that might be a good way to get your attention and honestly you were the last thing on my mind when I accepted an invitation to join a friend's bachelor party.I am 34 years old, married (first-and-only marriage for both) to my best friend for a little over 3 years...no kid-lets yet.<br /><br />I was nervous for the weekend because I knew some of the guys invited were heavy drinkers and I knew we would be frequenting strip clubs. In the lobby of our hotel there was a happy hour where drinks were free and people gathered to socialize before going out for the night. I saw three teenagers who seemed less than thrilled to be there with Mom sitting at a table, so I decided to make some friends. The mom said something which prompted me to bring you up which is strange because I never stood on the "Dr. Laura soap box" before. Immediately the mom's ears perked up, and one of the teenage daughters rolled her eyes. I couldn't just let her reaction go, so I asked the daughter about her eye roll. She very bluntly said, "She's so rude." When I asked why she thought so, she said "she just cuts people off and her tone is just rude." My response to her comment was simply, "If you really listen, she advises parents to do what is best for the kids since children who are cared for and loved turn out to be contributing members of society." While I was speaking to her daughter, I was really hoping the mother was listening to my words since she had three underage kids at a bar and no dad in sight.<br /><br />With Dr. Laura still on the brain fast forward to later that night at a bar...<br /><br />I saw this girl eyeing our group of guys. She walked right up and started talking to us. It was painfully obvious she was out looking to have a good time with whoever paid attention to her first. Everyone in our group lost interest and many of them decided to head to one of the strip clubs, but I decided to stay behind with this girl. I asked her if she wanted to get married someday. She said, "Of course." I asked, "Do you want it to last?" She looked at me funny and said, "Well yea." I said, "Well it's not going to happen this way." I spent time telling her how much I love my wife, how much I love being married and how in my opinion hooking up with random guys will not lead to a happily ever after. We chatted a while longer until someone who wasn't married gave her the attention she was seeking and pulled her away. Who knows if she remembers our talk, but I hope in a small way something stuck.<br /><br />The moral of my stories is that even at a bachelor party, with temptations and distractions; it is still possible to do the right thing. Keep fighting the good fight Dr. Laura and know that there are more people like me who agree with your views despite the knuckleheads trying to suck the joy and faith out of us one by one. <br /><br />Blessings and gratitude,<br /><br />Chris <br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-09-04T17:59:00Z
Life Changing Moment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Life-Changing-Moment/-341787324143052690.html
2014-09-03T17:59:00Z
2014-09-03T17:59:00Z
<br />Hi, Dr Laura:<br /><br />I want to share how one of your broadcasts a few years ago, changed my life. Having been raised in a dysfunctional home I had a lot of baggage. I was also the forgotten middle child so believe me when I say BAGGAGE!<br /><br />One day, I heard you talking to a listener about her baggage and you asked her to pull over so she could close her eyes. I did the same. You talked her through the process of sitting on the edge of a swimming pool next to her literal baggage. Her task was to get in the water and swim to the other side, get out and never look back. It was an emotionally difficult process for me. It brought me to tears and I was so thankful to have your steadfast and loving guidance through the process. It changed my life. I often remember that call when I start to slip up and I am forever grateful to you. Years of counseling could not achieve what I achieved during that one call.<br /><br />Thank you for all you do.<br /><br />Susan<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-09-03T17:59:00Z
Saving My Marriage and My Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Saving-My-Marriage-and-My-Family/-219106591524774585.html
2014-09-02T17:59:00Z
2014-09-02T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,
<p>I have been with my husband for 28 years and married for 24 years... I have 2 great adult daughters and thanks to you, I am my husband's girlfriend.</p>
<p>About 4 years ago, my husband was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer at the age 42! We were strong, went through two surgeries, and many months of chemotherapy and radiation! I am so thankful that by the grace of God and many AWESOME doctors, today my husband is cancer free!!!</p>
<p>However, at some point during his treatments and the added day-to-day stress, we started to drift apart! I started to have that glass or two of wine at night to help to cope with the teenage kids and all the stress during his treatments. I drank too much and ultimately checked out! Long story short, my husband turned to an ex-girlfriend! I foolishly trusted him and his affair lasted almost 18 months! When I finally asked for help from my doctor and sobered up, I realized how blind and foolish I had been! I once told my daughter's that they would never have to worry about their father and I breaking up, like so many of their friends' parents, because we loved each other too much! It has been a VERY LONG hard road. I have realize my husband had a choice to say no, but because I have listened to you for so many years, I should have also treated him more like the man. Ultimately, I realized that I wasn't the wife I should or could have been, but I plan to make up for that and spend the rest of my life showing my best friend, lover and husband just how much I treasure the second chance that God has given us!</p>
THANK YOU, DR. LAURA!
<p>Heidi</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-09-02T17:59:00Z
Dr. Laura-isms
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dr.-Laura-isms/165921240641710894.html
2014-08-29T17:59:00Z
2014-08-29T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,
<p>I have to admit, when I started listening to you I listened for pure entertainment. I couldn't honestly believe people would call you WILLINGLY to have you talk to them the way you did. Now, I'm spouting Dr. Laura-isms to anyone who will listen. I'm a reformed feminist, a proud stay-at-home mom and my husband's girlfriend. Ironically, even my kids say, "The 'girlfriend' is way more fun than Mom! She's a bit less uptight!"</p>
<p>Very often, you say something that resonates with me and I stop and write it down. I refer back to this page of my notes in my phone whenever I need a reminder to "do the right thing." Just thought you might get a kick out of some of the Dr. Laura-isms that keep me going:</p>
<ul>
<li>Your best teacher is your last mistake.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>You forgive someone when they've shown remorse, taken responsibility, repaired the damage and taken steps to not repeat the behavior.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>A boy cannot be a man in his mommy's house.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>I want to be loving and sweet and not perfectly neat. This is my new mantra, instead of, I have to be everything to everybody all the time.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>You can't practice what you don't know.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Regarding children: I'm not impressed with SMART. I'm impressed with DECENT.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Regarding your teenagers: From now on when they give you lip, you're deaf. You can be deaf for moments, hours, days. When they are polite to you, you can hear them again.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Whatever we admire our men for, they tend to do more of.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>You cannot be replaced in your children's eyes. You can be replaced at work, just like that.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>I don't believe in rescuing people when they shoveled the dirt out from underneath their own feet.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Let me be very frank with you. You knew it was an elephant, and you brought it home. You then do not have a discussion with the elephant, telling it you want it to be a zebra.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>We like to be convinced with someone else's words, but what we live with is their behavior.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>I'm sorry, but you chose this. I can't help you.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>On raising kids: Whoever has the responsibility, has the power.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>You don't have to be strong for your mother. A mother is supposed to be strong for her children. You've got it backwards.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>You can't have principles only when there are no consequences.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>The more you THINK and DO loving things, the more you will feel loving. Does that mean you're being phony? No. It means thinking positively and making an investment based on wonderful returns.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>You aren't stupid... But you're acting stupidly! You can do a lot of damage to the people that you love when you don't appreciate what you already have.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>It doesn't matter how hard something is. If it has to be done, it has to be done.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Don't blame God for YOU being a foolish person.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Taking risks exposes you to some failures, but not all - only SOME.</li>
</ul>
<p> </p>
Thank YOU for being my constant reminder to be all that I AM!
<p>Sincerely,</p>
Melisa
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-08-29T17:59:00Z
Parental Abdication
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parental-Abdication/-936443910724627322.html
2014-08-28T17:59:00Z
2014-08-28T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I am not my children's friend. I am their father. No I am not fair, I am their father. Yes, I am reasonable, I am their father. I am not unapproachable because I am their father. It is my responsibility to be firm in their best interests. I cannot control them when they are gone from the nest, but until that time comes, they will abide by my rules or else, because I am their father. And because I am their father, I set rules for their welfare. I will not tolerate tantrums in Wal-Mart or anywhere else. If they do they know that there will be consequences afterward. They will be home when I tell them the consequences outweigh the fun they might have had.
<p>Having been down this road, I know the results from no guidance at home. I find it sad that parents are too busy to be involved in their children's lives. I am appalled when I hear how some child has abused their parent. Had I ever lifted my hand against my father or mother, I shudder today to think what would have been the consequences. You know something, there was never a dad greater than my dad. I miss him. Was he perfect? No. Am I perfect? No. But I am still my children's father. And because I am their father, I love them enough to set the rules.</p>
Ronald
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-08-28T17:59:00Z
Failing Has Built her Character
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Failing-Has-Built-her-Character/482116563298848821.html
2014-08-26T17:59:00Z
2014-08-26T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,
<p>My husband and I think it is a valuable lesson to allow both of our children to fail. Our 18-year-old daughter has experienced quite a bit of failure, and it has only made her stronger. She is a serious modern dancer and will study dance in college. This was not our choice for her, but she is determined to make a life for herself in the performing arts, with backup plans A, B and C. This is a brutal, competitive world. She has auditioned for many different summer ballet and modern dance intensives over the years. She has been accepted to some fabulous programs, but she has also been rejected from some fabulous programs. It would have crushed me into dust at her age, but she has the personality to get through the auditions, take what she can from each one, and when the audition is over, for her, it is over. Each failure made her more determined to do better the next time, and it made her tough.</p>
I haven't seen her chest in a while, but I bet it is as hairy as a gorilla's from all of the character building! Thank you for helping us all to build character.
<p>Kali</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-08-26T17:59:00Z
Winning a Gold...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Winning-a-Gold.../-629419816385136323.html
2014-08-22T17:59:00Z
2014-08-22T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura,
<p>Today was one of the proudest moments of my life, I watched my son leave for the Army. He made the decision to join the Army with the full blessing of his dad (my husband) and me. My son is a selfless, caring man and I am honored to be his mother.</p>
<p>Before my husband and I got married over 20 years ago, we discussed how we wanted to raise our family. Since we both had stay-at-home moms, we knew it was important I stayed home to raise our four children. Being a stay-at-home mom has been and continues to be a wonderful, frustrating, beautiful and exhausting job, but it is the best thing we could give our kids. It has not always been easy. Diapers, breast feeding, late nights, early mornings, little sleep, lots of laundry, snotty noses and all of the demands of a growing family, can wear a person out. But I learned that the sacrifices of a stay-at-home mom far outweighed the inconveniences.</p>
<p>When I hear the "you can do it all" message and see women, every day make the choice of putting their career before their children, I am frustrated and sad for them and their families. Today, as I watched my baby swear allegiance to our country and start on this path, I realized I have been present for every "major" moment in his life. I was there for his first smile, first laugh, first step, first day of Kindergarten, first award he received, etc. I also realized I was there for almost every "minor" moment in his life. I was there for his first scraped knee, his first bad day at school, and his first broken heart. I then realized that those "minor" moments were a major part of his life and I have never regretted being there for him and our other children.</p>
Once, when talking to my pastor about husband/kids/household duties, he explained to me my hard work and sacrifice is always worth it. He pointed out that Olympic athletes don't just "get the gold" for showing up occasionally, they work hard and sacrifice and see the fruits of their labor in their successes. One of our family's successes is on his way to defending our country and the sacrifice to be his stay-at-home mom is worth all of the gold medals in the world.
<p>Thank you for all of your words of wisdom. Keep fighting the good fight!</p>
Sincerely,
<p>Stephanie</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-08-22T17:59:00Z
Learning True Compassion
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-True-Compassion/415861272394568935.html
2014-08-21T17:59:00Z
2014-08-21T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I recall growing up that my parents were dirt poor! The situation was so bad, the only thing in the refrigerator was Cup-o'-Noodles and frozen French fries. We had to go to McDonalds across the street to get ketchup, salt and pepper - in those days you could just walk in and grab the stuff. I have four siblings and both of my parents had to work in order for us to survive. We would buy our clothes, shoes and toys at yard sales and our furniture was obtained from the trash.
<p>Despite the modesty in which we lived, I never felt we were poor. I actually felt rich. My parents taught us how much we had in comparison to other families by having us clean out our closets and toy box of all the outgrown clothes and old toys. Then they took us to give those items to people who were much less fortunate than we were. My dad would take us to a neighborhood by the Mexican border where people literally lived in cardboard houses. We traditionally did this every January. While we were driving into those neighborhoods, my parents would point out how these families must be so cold living in these cardboard houses and how much the sweaters that we were taking the children would keep them warm.</p>
We always saw barefoot children there; and my parents would point out to us how the parents of these children did not have money to buy them shoes - not even from yard sales. I remember my mother helping me search for a barefoot child who looked my size so I could give that child my bag of clothes and toys. The reaction I got left a life lasting impression engraved in me.
<p>I couldn't give to all the children and this always left me with the feeling of wanting to go back and give to another child. My motivation was the joyous reaction of these families. I learned to recognize the expressions of joy and I found those expressions more rewarding and satisfying than anything material could ever bring. This act of giving made me feel richer than a millionaire. My family did this from the time I was 5 until I was 12. This act of kindness taught me the meaning of gratitude. It taught me to appreciate what I have because there is always somebody who has much less. It taught me how satisfying giving could be. It taught me consciousness and consideration for others. It taught me true compassion.</p>
Jaharya
Staff
2014-08-21T17:59:00Z
Guys Who are 'Too Nice'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Guys-Who-are-Too-Nice/767519872319510691.html
2014-08-20T17:59:00Z
2014-08-20T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,
<p>Recently, I heard a young male caller with "trust issues" lament he was too nice and young women didn't like guys who are too nice. I simply had to respond with a young woman's perspective. One of my favorite lines from Stephen Sondheim's "Into the Woods" musical is "Nice is different than good." When a person describes themselves as "too nice," it really means spineless. Someone who is "too nice" lets people walk all over them in the desperate hope people might like them. A guy who is "too nice" is not referring to his compassion, kindness, generosity and strength that he offers to those he loves; that is a Good Man, not a Nice Guy.</p>
<p>As a woman, I didn't want a Nice Guy, I wanted a Good Man, and I have been fortunate enough to find one. My husband is a Good Man, the best man I know. He is kind and caring, but he is also strong and has wonderful integrity. I esteem him; his kindness comes from an overflowing heart, not desperation for approval. When women tell a guy he is too nice, we are really saying that he is too needy, too clingy, or too spineless to be man enough for a relationship. When women tell a man he is too nice, we really mean we do not respect him because he has limited character. Plenty of girls will probably date him because every girl loves a free meal and he is probably good for that. But, if he wants a woman to love and respect him, he needs to earn it by being a man who knows what he stands for. If he want to date a woman of character, he needs to be a man of character.</p>
Thank you for all that you do; my husband and I both love your program and are so grateful for all your advice.
<p>Sincerely,</p>
Ashlee
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-08-20T17:59:00Z
Romantic Gestures Don't Have to Be Expensive
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Romantic-Gestures-Dont-Have-to-Be-Expensive/63155886713705436.html
2014-08-19T17:59:00Z
2014-08-19T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />My husband and I met on May 28th. During our courtship, every 28th of the month we'd refer to it as our 1 month, 2 month, 3 month etc. anniversary. We might give each other a card or I'd bake something sweet. Nothing over the top, just little gestures of affection.
<p>Roll the clock forward a few years to a chilly February. Valentine's Day had been a flop due to a bad situation at my job. I was a paramedic and when taking a psych patient to the ER, he pulled a gun on me. It all turned out okay, but my nerves were frayed and I wasn't in the spirit to go out. Hubby was wonderful and we snuggled on the couch that night. A few days later, he asked me if I'd like to go out on a Thursday evening and I said I'd love to, but I was working that day and didn't know if I'd make it home on time. He said that was okay and whenever I got back, we'd go out. Okay with me. I thought he had mixed up our "anniversary," but I wasn't going to say anything.</p>
I came home to find flowers waiting for me. I quickly changed and we left. In the parking lot of the restaurant, he handed me a card. It read "I know it's not your birthday or our anniversary and you're probably wondering what is up, but today I have known you for a 1000 days." It continued with looking forward to the next 1000 days. I was floored. THAT was special. We'd met 1000 days ago and now we were married, best friends, lovers, partners in crime, and crazy fools in love.
<p>Five years after we met, I took him for a quick drive and pulled in to the apartment complex where we met. We went up to the 3rd floor and I shook his hand like we did the first time we met and I gave him some chocolate covered strawberries I had made. We hugged, smooched and giggled like fools. Our life together hasn't been without rough patches, but we always turn to each other. It's US against the rest of the world as we are truly one. I wish people would realize romantic gestures don't have to cost a fortune just forethought.</p>
Maria
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-08-19T17:59:00Z
Want More 'Real' Men Around?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Want-More-Real-Men-Around/6840819894297626.html
2014-08-18T17:59:00Z
2014-08-18T17:59:00Z
<p>Ladies, do you want more "real" men around? You DO have the power to make it happen! And no, none of this dismisses the responsibilities of men.</p>
<ol>
<li>Don't reward immature males or "child men" with unmarried sex, cooking, cleaning, and bill-paying. Do not encourage other women in such behaviors.</li>
<li>Marry a real man, if you can find one, but only if you will treat him with respect, admiration, support, and as a man, not as one of your girlfriends.</li>
<li>Reward HIM and yourself with lots of enthusiastic lovemaking.</li>
<li>Let him raise his sons to be men, not feminized. Don't take his sons away from him by throwing away a perfectly good man.</li>
<li>Support schooling that treats boys like boys, not like disordered girls.</li>
<li>Support media that provides positive, masculine, male role models.</li>
<li>Support organizations, institutions, clubs, and programs that are run by men for the purposes of encouraging responsible masculinity, where boys can be socialized by men to be good men. All, or nearly all, such things have been feminized and forced to bring in women and girls and cater to their sensitivities. Boys need SOME positive place to be with other boys and men without interference from women. Due to male nature, once women or girls are involved, they will be the focus.</li>
<li>Let real men get together with each other without being punished for taking time away from you.</li>
<li>Respect real men, especially your husband, father, brothers, and sons by refusing to join in the constant widespread bitching about and degrading of men. Instead, contrast appreciation for real men from disdain for bad males.</li>
<li>See #1 again.</li>
</ol>
<p>Kenneth</p>
<br />
Staff
2014-08-18T17:59:00Z
My Husband's Retirement
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husbands-Retirement/-194111274312392027.html
2014-08-15T17:59:00Z
2014-08-15T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />When my husband retired, his company held a party for him. As he went onto the stage to address his colleagues I was told I would be asked to say a few words, also. I only had a few minutes to think about my comments. All the usual retirement jokes came to mind you know--like "Twice as much man for half as much money!" I thought about all of the retirement parties we had attended and how the wives complained about their husbands now being home during the day.<br /><br /> He finished his remarks and it was my turn. As I walked toward him and proudly put my arm through his he smiled, but it was a smile filled with apprehension. I then told all 300 of his colleagues that for the past 30 years he showered, ate breakfast and left for the office every morning. But now he would shower, eat breakfast and stay home with me. I looked him in the eye and exclaimed, "And I LOVE it!" My husband beamed and the crowd gave us a standing ovation as we walked off the stage--and into retirement--arm in arm.
Staff
2014-08-15T17:59:00Z
Staying in a Bad Relationship
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Staying-in-a-Bad-Relationship/544378932621048968.html
2014-08-14T17:59:00Z
2014-08-14T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />My divorce is now final.My ex-wife and I split time with our children. We live close enough to each other that they get to spend 2 weeks with me and then 2 weeks with their mom. Before I filed for divorce, I knew my marriage wouldn't last much longer. You see, my ex-wife had been having multiple affairs and, even after confessing to me and promising to change, if I made some changes too, she was having another affair. This time she didn't bother to hide it. She was almost flaunting it. My friends and family couldn't believe I was still trying to make a go of it, but with 4 children, I had to do what I could to try and keep their family intact.
<p>I was not a perfect husband before my ex had an affair, and heaven knows that, while I was much better, I wasn't during the last 16 months before I filed for divorce. You see, I had pulled back from my wife, partially because I didn't feel supported, loved, desired, or even wanted and partially because I didn't feel worthy of all those things because her actions told me I wasn't.</p>
<p>My wife always had an excuse to avoid sex or much of any loving contact at all. All the typical reasons. When she did finally "give in", it was obviously out of obligation she wanted it "over with" as soon as possible. I was lucky to be "thrown a bone", as it were, 1-2 times a month. By this time, we were obviously in trouble. I held on to this failing marriage for my children. I was willing to bear the burden of a "marriage in name only" but only as long as we were both in it for the children. She wanted to keep the family together and to have her boyfriends on the side and that was an unacceptable lesson for my kids. The final straw was when she introduce our children to her boyfriend. I had to do something.</p>
<p>I still have to put out fires. Just tonight my daughters were both crying because they wanted their mom, and they want to be with me. It is heartbreaking to see them struggle with having 2 families, 2 homes, 2 lives. Ladies and gentlemen, moms and dads, husbands and wives, DON'T DO THIS TO YOUR CHILDREN. They deserve a complete, loving home. Learn from my mistakes. Choose wisely-treat kindly.</p>
<p>Josh</p>
Staff
2014-08-14T17:59:00Z
A Tragic Loss Made Me the Person I Am
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Tragic-Loss-Made-Me-the-Person-I-Am/-904748901059892982.html
2014-08-13T17:59:00Z
2014-08-13T17:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />In 2004, my husband, my love, the father of my 2 sons (then 15 and 18) died suddenly. We ran together every day for the 23 years we were married. The day before he passed away was no exception. We ran 4 miles. He never faltered or complained of not feeling well. Unbeknown to us, he had a tear in his aorta which would burst and take his life the very next day which was Thanksgiving Day.</p>
<p>I was very much the mom and wife. He took care of all the "manly" domestic chores and the finances. I performed the more traditional roles of caring for the home. We shared in the tasks of parenting and raising our boys. He was a pillar in the community. He was involved in coaching, community service and was a leader in his position at the community college. I was the woman always by his side.</p>
<p>The community surrounded my family with love, support, food and contributions to my sons' college education. Although I was grateful, all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and lay in bed all day. My youngest son asked me on day two of his going back to school after his father's funeral service, "Why do I have to go to school, but you don't have to go to work?" I worked outside the home and kept the same work hours as their school hours. Wake Up Call!!! That day, I knew that I must find my inner strength for my sons to preserve the memory of their father while creating a new normal for us all.</p>
<p>Lawn work, housework, finances, homework: we did it all together. I found a new strength that I never knew I had. I learned to shoot hoops, punt and throw a football and a Frisbee. I can discuss first-and-ten with the guys like most women cannot!</p>
<p>I told my son that sometimes life sucks. He said, "No Mom. Some things that happen in life suck, but life does not suck." Again, he was right and another revelation came with his insight. I couldn't just go through the motions, I had to really live the life that I had created. How right a 15 year old was. I gathered strength for my sons and through my sons. It changed my life. I am more independent, stronger and a better mom and woman because I learned through tragedy to love the life that I was given. My sons are now 25 and 28. They have graduated college with Master's degrees and have no debt. My eldest just married the love of his life and she is like the daughter I always wanted. These men are strong, caring sensitive hunks. I am blessed to have married again and they love their step-dad and are so proud of me for being a strong mother and wife.</p>
<p>Kathy Jo</p>
Staff
2014-08-13T17:59:00Z
Meeting Your Future Daughter-in-Law
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Meeting-Your-Future-Daughter-in-Law/204604520370156232.html
2014-08-12T17:59:00Z
2014-08-12T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura,
<p>I absolutely LOVED my mother-in-law. She was full of laughter with funny stories suitably doctored for entertainment value, and love for family. From the moment we first met, she always made me feel welcome in her home. Not once do I recall criticism. When our children were born, she and my father-in-law came to visit for several weeks, cooking, cleaning and teaching me how to care for my new son. I miss them both now that they are gone. But her example as a mother-in-law impressed me so much I became determined to do the same, if and when, our son introduced us to his future wife. To the best of my ability, I have followed her example and it has not failed me. We are anticipating an engagement soon and the rewards of being welcoming and kind are obvious.</p>
Thanks for listening,
<p>Dale</p>
My kids' mom
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-08-12T17:59:00Z
Marriage Enricher
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Marriage-Enricher/-1653071743495504.html
2014-08-11T17:59:00Z
2014-08-11T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />The other day I was listening to you and my husband asked me how long I had been listening. I replied, "About two years". Then he said, "You treat me better since you started listening to her. And when you treat me better, then I treat you better. Just sayin'…
<p>I was totally surprised because I thought I had always treated him well, but upon reflection, it is true. I have started treating him better. We have a wonderful life and we are each other's best friend. We just adore each other and it really has improved over the last couple of years. I tell him how much I appreciate how he takes care of me, and he replies, with a big smile, that it's his job. I wonder how many other marriages unknowingly have been improved by simply listening to you. I wish every woman in America would just listen to you and let it rub off on them like it has on me. Thank you for making my husband and me happier than I ever thought I could be.</p>
I love you, Dr Laura!
<p>Cheryl</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-08-11T17:59:00Z
Making Your Husband Excited to Come Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Your-Husband-Excited-to-Come-Home/-659663854631348148.html
2014-08-08T18:00:00Z
2014-08-08T18:00:00Z
<br /><br />I hear so many women call the show to whom you have to explain how to make their husbands excited to come home to them. I think my shopping trip today was a great example of an easy way to do that. I texted my husband and told him I bought some flip flops even though they weren't on sale. This is EXTREMELY rare for me, but they were so comfortable and the last pair the store had. He, being the sweetheart that his is, said "Cool!" followed by, "Pics, please." I told him I would send one when I got home.
<p>So, when I got home I took my shirt off, covered my breasts with the flip flops and took a picture! He now thinks I should go shoe shopping every day and can't wait to get home!!!</p>
Come on Ladies, it's pretty simple
<p>Julie</p>
Staff
2014-08-08T18:00:00Z
Finding Solutions
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finding-Solutions/-165680703184951352.html
2014-08-07T17:59:00Z
2014-08-07T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura,
<p>I am a 35-year-old mother of 5 children (two boys: 11 and 9, three girls 7, 4 and 4). I have stayed home with them since my first child was born and will continue to do so. I will be the first to admit that there are many challenges in this role and I often feel inadequate or at a loss of knowing the solutions, but I have never felt more passionate about something besides my husband and religion.</p>
<p>The grandeur of motherhood is easily overshadowed by the slow and gradual process of rearing worthwhile people. I can see how easily women can be distracted from our divine purpose because we don't get accolades and progress reports. I often have to step back, stop comparing, be present in the moment and remind myself that I only have them for a limited time. Being that it is summer, I found myself emotionally drained from the constant bickering between the kids. Every attempt at anything would be derailed by complaints, jealousy, fits, or button-pushing. I felt I was in a chronic state of irritation and that most of my conversations were threats of what I would be taking away if they didn't stop fighting. It wasn't working.</p>
I took it to prayer and finally realized the kids could sense I had absolutely no faith in them to behave better. That saddened me. So I quickly made a chart for each child. I made 10 squares with a sharpie marker and a final star-shaped spot that said "Yay!" I brought all the kids together and told them to color a small picture that would serve as a moving marker. I then announced that any and all upcoming family activities would not be all-inclusive, meaning if they wanted to attend they would have to earn their spot by being kind and obedient. If they didn't make it to the final spot on their chart, I would be getting a sitter for whoever didn't do their part and the sitter would make sure that the child/children would finish a list of chores to pay for the sitter. It was an almost instantaneous huge improvement. I got to dole out praises with hugs and high fives. If there were fits or fights, I would warn them they may need to move their marker back a space and solutions came into play. I got many "What chore can I do to move and extra space?" I didn't have to spend a dime--I just made an expectation into a privilege. They feed off the genuine joy I have in praising them and rewarding them and the sadness I felt in moving their piece backward.
<p>Thank you for your wise words that help me remember what my job is. Thank you for being an external reminder that what I'm doing will make a difference.</p>
Caroline
<p> </p>
<img src="/images/blog/eod_080714.jpg" alt="" /><br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-08-07T17:59:00Z
Growing a Pair
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Growing-a-Pair/869588264454544074.html
2014-08-06T17:59:00Z
2014-08-06T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I want to thank you Dr. Laura for helping me grow a pair! I am the type of woman who will sit there and steam over something that bothers me. Then I will talk with my friends and complain about it rather than deal with the issue directly. I was growing into a bitter person who was always being used and never standing up for myself.
<p>I heard your show when a woman called in, and you told her you do not like cowards. It hit me, I am a coward.</p>
<p>So, the issue next issue that came up was that my sister-in-law house sat for us while we were on vacation. She trashed our home, did not feed our cats, smoked hookah every night inside, made our house smell to high heaven, and once we returned from vacation she ended up just living with us without really asking us if she could. Normally, I would bitch to my husband about it for days on end to try and get him to do something about it, and it would cause so much anger and strife. Instead this time, I told him I would deal with the situation. I told her "Thank you so much for taking care of our home while we were on vacation, but I was hoping to have our home to ourselves once we returned. So last night, just to clarify, will be your last night at our home." She tried to guilt trip me by saying she would have to sleep in her car, but I pointed out we were not her last resort for a place to stay and she had other options. And I hoped everything worked out for her. I did this calmly without any yelling. I was expecting his family to hate me for kicking her out, and for our friends to see me as this mean person. Instead people understood, my sister-in-law holds nothing against me, and now we have the home to ourselves once again!</p>
So I am working on growing a pair. This was just the first step, and I wanted to thank you for helping me take it.
<p>Rhea</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-08-06T17:59:00Z
Stupid Attachment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stupid-Attachment/-902223308538221182.html
2014-08-05T17:59:00Z
2014-08-05T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,
<p>I am 18 years old and am currently reading your book "10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives". For 3 years, I was caught up in a stupid attachment to a guy. Because of this I suffered several suicide attempts. I was extremely depressed and found myself giving him all of my self-esteem and self-worth. I was too fearful to leave the situation.</p>
<p>But that freaking first chapter of your book motivated me to break off this stupid attachment to him and create goals for myself. I am no longer taking anti-depressant meds, I am starting college in the fall on a full 4 year tuition scholarship, and I am learning to work hard and actually earn my self-esteem. Words cannot describe how thankful I am for you. I have changed the way I see myself and my future. I am finally beginning to prioritize myself, my goals, my dreams, and my accomplishments.</p>
Thank you so much Dr. Laura. You literally saved my life and I'm so happy you have continued to pursue the work you do!
<p>Lots of love,</p>
Alexis
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-08-05T17:59:00Z
Facing Mortality
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Facing-Mortality/898004497710167649.html
2014-08-04T17:59:00Z
2014-08-04T17:59:00Z
<p class="yiv5896259705msoplaintext" style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />Until I was 38, I was Superman. Rarely ill, running 5 miles a day since Marine Corps Boot Camp at 17. At 38, I had a stroke.</p>
Doctors said it was caused by my high stress job. I had daughters 3 and 5 years old, my wife didn't work, and I'm no longer immortal. I changed my life and my job became less important. I never missed a dance recital, basketball game, softball game or swim lesson. I still did my job well, and each new boss was told that God, my family and my country came first. A long weekend for the girls meant a long weekend for me: Disneyland, Cedar Point, etc... Long drives, long talks. I made financial plans so I wouldn't leave a mess when I died. No more debt. Retirement planning.
<p>My boss called one day to tell me she was quitting, that I was right. Her 4-year-old son called her "babysitter" one day when she took time off. She went from career woman to stay-at-home mom.</p>
<p>At 49, while on the job, I was in a serious car accident. Most of the next year was lost. My daughters were now in high school, planning college, active in high school sports. National Junior Olympics and national bowling competition. I could no longer run, golf, play ball, bowl, or swim. I was told to expect a wheelchair in the next 5 years. I needed to "become sedentary". I started doing water exercise an hour a day, bicycling 30 minutes or more and learned to bake competitively.</p>
<p>At 54, I had a serious bicycle accident. Two years later, I lost over 40 pounds in 2 weeks from Crohn's disease. The week I went to the hospital for Crohn's, a sister entered a hospital for cancer. Our siblings visited and all said she'd be okay, but I'd never leave the hospital alive. Doctors agreed. She died 4 months later and I lived on.</p>
At 58, my neuropathy in my legs worsened and doctors said I'd soon need a wheelchair. I started using a stationary bike daily, and golfing despite my bad arm, back and legs. I set a goal to do volunteer work in all 50 states and have gotten to 7 so far. Mostly marathons since I ran for 35 years. I hope to work at the Maui and Marine Corps Marathons this year.
<p>My reaction to a health crisis: attack it. I've learned that many old friends have died. Each friend who's passed away inspires me to make the most of life. My daughters finished college and have good jobs. I'm 61 now and still no wheelchair. I do 60 minutes or more of exercise a day and golf 2 or 3 times a week. I attend meetings for people with brain injuries to encourage those who are giving up. With memories gone and the body not working right because the brain has broken circuits, it's easy to give up.</p>
Marines never retreat.
<p>Kevin</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-08-04T17:59:00Z
The Next Generation of Listeners
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Next-Generation-of-Listeners/-570462262549184466.html
2014-08-01T17:59:00Z
2014-08-01T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I recently started listening to you often via your podcast and the other day my four-year-old asked "Mommy, why do you like Dr. Laura so much?" I told him it helps me to learn how to be a better wife for his daddy and a better mommy for him. "Why?" he asked. I responded it was important to keep learning in life because Daddy deserves the best wife there is and he deserves the best mommy. He accepted that and went back to playing.
<p>A few days later, when I turned your podcast on he ran up to me and said, "Mommy, can I listen to Dr. Laura with you?" And I was very surprised but said of course he could. He said, "Thanks, I want to learn how to be a good daddy so when I have kids I can be the best daddy there is." Now he asks me at least once a day if he can listen to Dr. Laura with me and he often comments and asks questions about the show. It's a great opening to a lot of difficult discussions that wouldn't otherwise come up in normal life.</p>
<p>Thanks for making me a better wife and mother to my two kind, compassionate and loving little boys.</p>
Maegan
Staff
2014-08-01T17:59:00Z
Accepting Your Spouse as They Are
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Accepting-Your-Spouse-as-They-Are/585103655787774129.html
2014-07-31T17:59:00Z
2014-07-31T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura -
<p>Today is actually our 15th wedding anniversary, and as I think back over these years, my ideas and beliefs about marriage have changed.</p>
As a child of divorce, I had no idea the baggage I brought into my marriage...I swore I wouldn't repeat the patterns of my parents, but found myself doing just that as time went on. I feared abandonment and was afraid to express my true feelings for fear of losing my husband. My husband's parents were also divorced, but he had done the "work" in therapy to move past many issues and was able to help me as well. Although I didn't want to believe I was wrong or that I was at fault, I was. Opening myself up and truly considering my husband's wishes and needs was the key - not just thinking of what I needed was a pivotal change.
<p>Of course there have been many bumps in the road, but we both pledged our commitment to stay together for our two children, no matter what, and work through our differences. We are in a really good spot and my confidence in myself and our marriage is high. The advice we always give new couples is this: the two keys to a good marriage is a sense of humor and a short term memory. HaHa.</p>
Thank you for your daily advice - you have helped us in many ways over the many years of listening to you.
<p>Jeni</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-31T17:59:00Z
Best Father's Day Letter Ever
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Best-Fathers-Day-Letter-Ever/-947952135415860461.html
2014-07-30T17:59:00Z
2014-07-30T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura --
<p>I thought you'd appreciate seeing this. I didn't think this millennial generation read emails, but apparently my daughter is reading the ones I forward on certain topics from your show. Recently, she told me she dumped her boyfriend and I am convinced it was after listening to your monologue I sent her on dating real men.</p>
<p>Thank you for paying it forward which allows some of us to help ourselves, family and friends. - Tom</p>
<blockquote>
<p> </p>
I feel like I don't show you and Mom how much I appreciate you both. You've been so supportive, loving, and encouraging my whole life and I don't think I could ever thank you enough. I feel so for the people I see who don't have a good relationship or any relationship with their dad because I have no idea what I would do if I didn't have you growing up and in my life now. I tried to be a good kid and the times I slipped up, you were immediately there to help and make sure I didn't fall.
<p>That's another thing I don't think I could ever thank you enough. I appreciate you constantly giving me the advice and lessons you do, even if it is a new email from Dr. Laura every day. You've been a wonderful father to me and I really do thank God every single day for how blessed I am to have you and Mom as parents. I love you very much and I hope you have wonderful Father's Day.</p>
<p>Your Princess,</p>
<p>E.</p>
<p> </p>
</blockquote>
Staff
2014-07-30T17:59:00Z
Lucky to be Married to a Real Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lucky-to-be-Married-to-a-Real-Man/-781997839255643946.html
2014-07-29T17:59:00Z
2014-07-29T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura,
<p>There are so many things that make my husband a real man, but I will share just a few. We have been married for 17 years and we have 4 children. My husband has always worked at least 2 jobs - one full time and one part time to support our family and so I can stay home. He is always the first one up and he never complains about having to work so hard or about the lack of sleep he gets.</p>
He always sends me a text from work first thing in the morning that says, "Good Morning, Beautiful". This sweet man of mine is a great cook, can wash a stack of dishes in minutes, and always puts mine and the kids' comfort above his own. It doesn't take much to make him happy and I am just so grateful to have him as my husband.
<p>He did not have a dad growing up and his childhood was not easy, He joined the military at 17 years old and never made excuses... He just worked hard and did his best.</p>
I really saw his true character when our daughter was diagnosed with cancer, 13 years ago. She was 3 years old and my husband had just been hired as a firefighter at a new department and had to complete a probationary period that was very stressful and physically demanding. He spent every minute either at the hospital, taking care of our other kids, or studying and training for work. I was emotionally drained from spending so much time at the hospital and missing my husband and our other kids at home. So one evening after working hard all day, my knight in shining armor shows up at the hospital with dinner and drinks from our favorite restaurant. Our little girl was sleeping so we sat in that dim hospital room eating our dinner, holding hands and whispering to each other. Sadly, we lost our daughter later that year, and our world felt like it was falling part. My husband held our family together and really was a rock for us all.
<p>There are so many ways that my husband is a "man" each and every day. I just love him more than ever and appreciate every moment with him.</p>
Lucky to be married to a Real Man,
<p>Gina</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-29T17:59:00Z
Time to Enjoy It All
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Time-to-Enjoy-It-All/56530640510834963.html
2014-07-28T17:59:00Z
2014-07-28T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura:
<p>I was strolling my niece today through a neighborhood when it suddenly occurred to me that I am very blessed because I have time. As we went through the neighborhood, I was struck by the absolute silence. No people anywhere: no one having coffee, washing a car, playing outdoors, or waiting for the mail.</p>
<p>I am a part-time teacher, who has been searching for a full-time job for a long time. Instead of complaining, I am feeling blessed. I have time to make dinner each night for my family, and time to grocery shop on Monday morning, when the store is calm. I have time to attend my son's baseball games and help him with his science fair project. I have time to bake and deliver a batch of cookies to my daughter's homeroom, to celebrate her birthday, embarrassing for her as a teen, but deep down she LOVES it. Time to watch my niece one day each week. Time to keep a nice home, to spoil my husband, to actually LIVE! Don't get me wrong, there are many things I do not have like a new car, luxury vacations, and that patio I have been dreaming of... But I am thankful for a loving, awesome husband, 3 terrific kids and the TIME to enjoy it all.</p>
<p>Thank you for reminding all of us daily what a blessing life is, and encouraging us to have the guts to enjoy it. You make my day every day!</p>
Alice
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-28T17:59:00Z
A Divorced Parenting Journey
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Divorced-Parenting-Journey/-931887924696862405.html
2014-07-25T17:59:00Z
2014-07-25T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura:
<p>Twenty-two years ago, I listened to your show every day on the long drive to work each morning. I was married and thrilled to be pregnant. Five years later, I very abruptly became a divorced mom of two small children, one still nursing. I was a stay-at-home mom. I did not want my children to become statistics, so I decided to follow the path you had told some of the divorced mom callers to take and I stuck to that path: Family first.</p>
Fast forward two decades from those morning drives listening to your show. I have been a divorced parent for sixteen and a half years. I haven't "played" family with anyone, no sleep overs, nobody playing dad to my kids, no bar hopping or babysitters so mom could date, and no live-ins. Dating occurred only when the kids were on weekends with their dad. Instead, I put myself through graduate school because I was in a low-paying field that required a higher degree to be able to make ends meet. I will never forget the kids jumping up and down and cheering in the auditorium when I was handed "our" diploma.
<p>The kids and I traveled and learned to find free and cheap fun. We learned how to split a Happy Meal 3 ways. We lived in college family housing for a period of time, where they met families from all over the world. School activities filled our calendar as they were in sports, plays, choir and various other school activities. They also took horseback, karate and guitar lessons. It wasn't always easy. I had several surgeries during this time and dealt with a chronic medical condition, but we managed. Money was always tight. Being both mom and dad was tough, but somehow we built those 4-H rockets, got the belt back on the mower, and got the mice out of the house that the cat brought in. And it wasn't always rainbows and butterflies. Many days it was more like thunderstorms and fire ants, but we managed. Both kids earned honors diplomas and were in leadership positions in high school. Both earned college academic scholarships and both are college athletes. They do volunteer work and both have jobs. They both are in solid, healthy relationships. Most importantly, they are good people.</p>
If I had this divorced parenting journey to do all over again, I would do it the same way. Every sacrifice was worth it. No regrets. It has been an honor to be the full-time solo parent of these two kids, and to make their best interest top priority. I wouldn't trade the memories we made for anything in the world. I am so glad I heard your show back when I was pregnant with my first child. I can't thank you enough for the impact your guidance has had on our lives.
<p>Blessings and peace,</p>
A.
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-25T17:59:00Z
Keep Giving Us Hell
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keep-Giving-Us-Hell/113681353168575437.html
2014-07-24T17:59:00Z
2014-07-24T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />My dearest Dr. Laura,
<p>I was first introduced to you almost 20 years ago when my first husband and I were just dating. I listened to you briefly and decided you were terrible, despicable and mean. I now know I felt that way because so many things I heard you say, really hit home.</p>
<p>Here I am, nearly 20 years later...a recovering heroin addict, working on divorce #2 and raising two teenagers alone. A few months ago I was driving and you popped into my head. I pulled over on the side of the road and googled Dr. Laura. I was thrilled when I discovered you were still on the air! After signing up for a Dr. Laura Family Premium subscription, for the past 3 months, I have listened to every single podcast available. It's hard to even put into words how much I have grown in the past three months. You are my driving force. I listen and I hear absolutely everything that you say. Now because of it, I am a better mother, a better friend, and an overall better human being. Throughout my life I've heard people comment and say things about 'the manual for life' or wishing they had an instruction pamphlet on how to live. Well, that's YOU! What you say, what you believe and what you stand for is the exact recipe for an amazing life.</p>
Every day I am thankful that I was able to find my way back to you. I do not believe in living with regret, but oh how I wish I had REALLY listened to you all those years ago. In 3 days, I will celebrate 11 years clean. I am 40 years old. My son is 17 and my daughter is 12 and my day is not complete without my dose of Dr. Laura Schlesinger. From the bottom of my heart and the depths of my soul...I thank you for who you are, what you do, and what you say! Keep giving us hell!! WE NEED IT!
<p>Lisa</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-24T17:59:00Z
A Former Stay-at-Home Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Former-Stay-at-Home-Mom/-798064796423959223.html
2014-07-23T17:59:00Z
2014-07-23T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,
<p>When we had our babies, my husband and I made a conscious choice to do without a lot so I can stay at home and raise them. We lived in a trailer house and drove a very old car. The church thought we were poor and "tried" to give us a Thanksgiving dinner one year. What's funny is our house and car was paid for. The only bills we had was our utilities. It just goes to show you not to judge a book by the house they live in or the car they drive.</p>
<p>Staying at home gave my kiddos a solid foundation and allowed them as adults to always land on their feet and know what "home" truly is! My biggest and best accomplishment, aside from marrying my husband, was raising three amazing kids. Just in case you might be interested... My oldest boy is 25 and is trying to get into medical school. My autistic daughter is 24. She drives, works, and is about to go back to college. My youngest son is 21. He married an amazing young lady, went into the Army, served in Afghanistan, and is about to begin college for political science - YUCK! HAHA. I'm proud of my children, but I'm proud of myself and my husband! We did a damn good job! Bravo Zulu's to us!!! I agree with you!!! Why have children if you're going to pay someone else to raise them? Get a dog!</p>
Sincerely,<br /><br /> Myca
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-23T17:59:00Z
My Daughter Listens!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Daughter-Listens!/-43560937797198734.html
2014-07-22T17:59:00Z
2014-07-22T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />When my daughter was a little girl and we traveled as a family, you were always on the radio. As I absorbed wise consul on how to best raise her, she happily colored, slept and played. Well, I guess she was absorbing too! She will be 21 in 2 weeks. She is a beautiful, caring, and wise young woman, successfully moving through her college years.
<p>My daughter called me last week upset over a dilemma with a possible roommate situation. As we discussed solutions to her issue, she exclaimed, "But Mom, I feel guilty and Dr. Laura says if you feel guilt you are doing something wrong." "You listen to Dr. Laura?", I exclaimed! Well, I was happily floored! We figured out together what she may have done wrong and moved towards a solution.</p>
I am thrilled she not only comes to me but also seeks out your wise advice. I just purchased her a gift certificate for a premium membership for her upcoming birthday so that she can listen whenever she likes. Thank you Dr. Laura for staying on the air from generation to generation.
<p>Laura (The other Mama Laura)</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-22T17:59:00Z
Children of Divorce
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Children-of-Divorce/-518378085752539190.html
2014-07-21T17:59:00Z
2014-07-21T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I left my husband when my child was 6 months old. My husband had a girlfriend that he refused to give up. It sounds justifiable to file for divorce, right? But if I would have chosen wisely, I would have never been in that position. All the signs were there beforehand, but I kept thinking if I was just better, he would be nicer to me. I thought since my son never lived in a household with two parents, he would just accept living with a single mother was normal. Not so. School functions, activities, and invitations, all screamed, "Only one parent in the household. I am different! Something must be wrong with me!"
<p>As time went on, my son learned how to use the separation of his parents to his benefit. He is now in his twenties and I can feel he believes he does not have a real place to call home. For 18 years of his life, my son spent every other weekend and several weeks throughout the year with his father. As my son got older, there were so many children with divorced families, I thought the children could adjust easily. I was so wrong. Just because everyone else seems to be going through the same thing, doesn't change how conflicted and unstable a child may feel.</p>
<p>I am highly recommending a movie: "What Maisie Knew". Its story is told through the eyes of a child whose parents are going through a divorce. It is very heartbreaking and I cried several times.</p>
Terri
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-21T17:59:00Z
For Our 40th Anniversary
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/For-Our-40th-Anniversary/618237739647815751.html
2014-07-18T17:59:00Z
2014-07-18T17:59:00Z
Dr. Laura,
<p>Just to let you know there is true love out there. I met my wife at 19 and married 8 months later. We have 2 kids in their 30's now and we just had our 40th anniversary. I know we are not the norm, but we follow almost all your beliefs. For our anniversary, I decided to write my wife a letter from the heart instead of a present although I did get her a dozen purple roses - her favorite. I thought you would get a kick out of my letter so here it is:</p>
<p>I decided not to buy a card written by someone else. Instead here is a letter from my heart. You are the love of my life, my best friend, and lover. I may not have won the money lottery but I am a big winner in the wife lottery. I could not ask for a more beautiful and loving wife. I don't need anything for our anniversary - I already have you. I will always be there for you and will continue to try to be the best husband I could be and that you deserve. Love Ya!</p>
P.S. If this letter doesn't get me lucky tonight, I suck and I should have bought you something!
<p>Donald</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-18T17:59:00Z
Growing Closer to My Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Growing-Closer-to-My-Husband/-342396514021523145.html
2014-07-17T17:59:00Z
2014-07-17T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I have been married to my husband for 34 years. We have had a good marriage and raised 4 children who are all now out of the house and on their own.
<p>Last month, my husband and I went on a trip to Greece which he had planned for nearly 2 years. We sail and took skipper lessons last summer so that we could have internationally recognized certificates that would allow us to charter a boat there. We were on the boat for 2 weeks and sailed among the islands in Greece.</p>
<p>The trip started out nice and that lasted for about 3 days. Then we hit high winds and stormy weather. I don't think I smiled for 2 or 3 days! There was a time when I thought he was going to go overboard and I was terrified I wouldn't be able to turn the boat around to get him even though I had practiced that with my captain in my class over and over. The winds were about 35 to 40 knots and I was really scared for days! I won't go into all the details, but my point of writing you is that during this trip, we both realized how much we needed each other. I was the anchor person and he was at the helm when we were docking or anchoring out in the water. One person could not do it all on this boat. We both admit that we have never been closer. What we did was probably the most difficult thing either one of us had done and we accomplished it together and realized how much we love and cherish one another. I'm so grateful for this experience although I don't know if we will do it again...at least not in Greece.</p>
Thank you for your program. I have learned so much over the years from you!
<p>Sincerely,</p>
Laurie
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-17T17:59:00Z
Real Men Make Mistakes...and Learn From Them
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Real-Men-Make-Mistakes...and-Learn-From-Them/813485969214147294.html
2014-07-16T17:59:00Z
2014-07-16T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Mother Laura,
<p>My husband and I just reached the end of one of our hardest years of marriage. After 2 years of dealing with stress at work, and not being able to resolve some major issues with administrators, my husband "checked-out" for a while. He was often frustrated, angry, distant, and dismissive. This was understandable after what he was going through, but after a while I felt lost and lonely.</p>
A male "friend" of my husband's was all too willing to fill that gap in my life, and I began to enjoy his attention and the excitement it brought to a rather dreary time in my marriage. While I wised up before anything physical happened, after 3 weeks of secretive texts and conversations, my husband found out and was devastated. His world came crashing down because of MY stupid mistake and mishandling of our marriage.
<p>As we began to work through issues that spanned all the way back to our childhoods, I learned so much from my husband. He took a hard look at his role in our marriage and FOUGHT hard to reverse what had been done. He scaled back at work even though he knew he would suffer backlash, and he did! He listened to my needs and made an effort to show me love every day. Above all, he taught me about forgiveness. He could have clung to his anger and hurt, but he worked harder than anyone I've ever seen to let go of that anger and fill our marriage with a new beginning instead of festering wounds.</p>
Real men are not perfect, and they don't have perfect marriages. When he is in hot water, a real man will fight, crawl, struggle, and drag himself up and out. He will do whatever it takes to learn from the past and make a better future. A real man does not necessarily have a strong body or powerful muscles, but strong morals and a powerful character. I thank God every day I am lucky enough to have landed such a man, and I can guarantee I will never take "friendship" with another man so lightly again.
<p>Thank you for all you do for marriages, Dr. Laura!</p>
Bethany
<p>P.S. Women, run away from that "friendship with another lonely man" lure as fast as you can. It looks fun at the moment, but whatever you are dealing with in your marriage now will pale in comparison to what happens when everything blows up in your face.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-16T17:59:00Z
Put It to Song...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Put-It-to-Song.../636550067808913572.html
2014-07-15T17:59:00Z
2014-07-15T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I have an almost 7-year-old boy, who is a boy's boy. Did I mention he's a boy?Therefore, he's active, distracted and loves to play. I love my boy and have found ways to get what I need from him. There are things he needs to do and often forgets to do them, so instead of yelling or getting annoyed, I've learned if I make it a game it's amazing what can be accomplished: anything from "I bet you can't brush your teeth faster than I can", or "If you put on your shoes in 60 seconds, I'll spin in circles 3 times", etc. This works really well. However, there was one thing he just couldn't seem to nail down. When he leaves his room, he's supposed to shut the door so the cat won't go in there. It seems my sweet boy just could not remember to do that and I got annoyed with myself saying, "Did shut the door?", "Boo-boo, did you get the door?" You get the picture. So one day, I said to him, "I've made up a song and I want you to sing it when you come down the stairs. Here it goes: Stairs, Stairs up and down, if I don't shut the door my mommy will frown." We sang it together in a ring-around-the-Rosie-type rhythm over and over and danced and sang. I said, "Okay, Boo, you sing this song every time you come downstairs and I bet you won't forget". Worked like a charm. So now, if there are tasks at hand I want my little guy to do, I put it to music!
<p>Thanks for all your wisdom on a daily basis.</p>
A loyal podcaster,
<p>Sandra</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-15T17:59:00Z
Best Investment Ever
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Best-Investment-Ever/274934588519217278.html
2014-07-14T17:59:00Z
2014-07-14T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I'd like to share a moment in my life that still makes me smile. I was at a tire store a few months ago having service done on my truck. The manager, at the next kiosk, was helping a young lady who appeared to be about 6-7 months pregnant. Her car was, shall we say, very tired. She needed a new tire as the wires were sticking out of the rubber. The manager was being exceptionally professional by keeping everything very low key as to her not being able to afford a new tire. Her quivering lip trying not to cry from embarrassment made me a believer in her story. (I am a 60/40 pessimist.)
<p>The manager incredibly offered her 'terms' for paying for the new tire. If she could put $20 down on a $79 tire, he'd be happy to go ahead with the transaction. I overheard all of this as I was only 2 feet away. I collected my keys, receipt, and went to my truck. I have been in her position before, dead broke and no one to help. I returned with a small sticky note and a $20 bill concealed in my hand and passed it to the manager. The note said to apply this money to her bill. Twenty bucks! A measly $20 is all it took to put a huge smile on my face. She never knew who did it. The manager was stunned.</p>
I just walked out with a spring in my step. A measly $20 is not so measly when you are up against it. This I know firsthand. I wanted to write to you and say that the $20 has given me way more inner true joy than any $100 bar tab, $135 dinner check, $80 toy, or just about anything else I can remember. Giving feels good. Now, I know what Christmas is really supposed to be about. Too bad most people only think of it as 1 day a year. I even emailed the tire company and told them of their super manager; a class act. Funny how the best things don't seem to cost much or anything at all.
<p>Damon</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-14T17:59:00Z
The Nerve of Some Men!!!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Nerve-of-Some-Men!!!/492890364261067252.html
2014-07-11T17:59:00Z
2014-07-11T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />I got the following forwarded message today from my husband's computer and I'm horrified that one of his co-workers would actually do this!
<blockquote><br />"Married man looking for a cheap easy woman to go out with tonight. Must enjoy good food, but must be a sure thing afterwards, I don't like to waste money. I am free after work today if interested."
<p> </p>
</blockquote>
After I read it the third time, I realized it was from <strong><em>MY</em></strong> husband!
<p>This man made me laugh! And I will be his cheap and easy woman tonight! Being married 23 years has seen plenty of ups and downs, but we continue to work hard at our marriage every day. We have two kiddos - 19 and 16 - and we CAN'T WAIT to be empty nesters! We have been devoted parents to our kids, but we've also shown them how to treat your spouse with respect and love.</p>
Thanks Dr. Laura for all you do! Now, I've got to go shower and put perfume in "strategic places"!
<p>Sincerely,</p>
Cheap and Easy Amy!
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-11T17:59:00Z
Teenagers NEED Tough Consequences for Unacceptable Behavior!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teenagers-NEED-Tough-Consequences-for-Unacceptable-Behavior!/-807028250579246921.html
2014-07-10T17:59:00Z
2014-07-10T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />My husband and I have been married 35 years. We have 6 kids and 6 different ways to parent them. Our eldest daughter is now, 43 and our youngest daughter is 19! We have two sons and four daughters. Five have graduated college and are contributing members of society. We have a teacher, journalist, computer analyst, social worker, actor, and a daughter entering her second year of college....whew..!!!
<p>When the kids were teens, we 'lost' our sweet children and had to learn how to deal with the MANY problems the teen years present. Not all the kids had behavior issues, but some of them provided us with some REAL challenges. When our daughter continued to drink, after being grounded for an entire semester and not allowed to attend a school Homecoming dance, we knew what we were doing was not working, so, I had an idea. I contacted our city D.A., and asked him if he ever needed 'volunteers', for alcohol busts...He said, "Yes." Long story short, when kids at the high school found out our daughter was a 'narc', no one had anything to do with her any longer, and, the stores where the 'group' had previously purchased their alcohol, were 'relieved' of their liquor license and we knew they would remember our child.... So, no more sales! A win for us and although she 'hated' us for the next few months....she finally admitted we did the right thing as she was going down the wrong path. Today, she is a teacher, mother to three sons and married to a great man!</p>
Six kids...each one unique...thus, my husband and I were challenged to come up with individualized 'solutions'! Love listening to your radio broadcast, Dr. Laura!
<p>Sincerely,</p>
Sarah
<p>Mom to six!!!</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-10T17:59:00Z
Passing Down Wisdom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Passing-Down-Wisdom/9467248019297006.html
2014-07-08T21:59:00Z
2014-07-08T21:59:00Z
<br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura,
<p>For my 18th birthday my older sister gave me "10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives" as a gift. My bratty, know-it-all, 18-year-old self thought "who is this crazy woman and what a crappy gift"!! I threw the book on the shelf and did not think much of it. Several years later, I came across the book again and decided to read it. I was shocked and angry at myself as I had already made some of the mistakes you wrote about. I kicked myself for not having read it sooner, but took the information to heart and made some changes in my life.</p>
Recently my oldest daughter turned 13. I took this opportunity to re-gift your book to her and explained to her "the wisdom you will receive, only occurs if you READ IT! Do not make the same mistake I did and wait until it's too late to get the lessons and moral compass you will need for a good life." Of course her father, (my husband), and I are teaching the morals as well, but your book is a great guidance and helpful roadmap there to assist! When her younger sister turns 13, she will pass it down to her.
<p>I can't imagine you not being in my ear daily, guiding me. Thank you for all that you do!</p>
Sincerely,
<p>Lindsey</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-08T21:59:00Z
How to Properly Care and Feed Your Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-to-Properly-Care-and-Feed-Your-Marriage/92421426298111618.html
2014-07-07T17:59:00Z
2014-07-07T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />My husband and I have been together 30 years. Before I started listening to you our relationship was a roller coaster ride, held together by an intense spiritual connection between 2 hard-headed and dueling egos. You have changed my attitude. Why didn't I know it could be this easy??? My changes were enough to change his attitude and our marriage; now we are spectacular. I had been the breadwinner and the homemaker, and had to be in control. Then after 2 hip replacement surgeries, I was stunned to realize how much support he gave to me. He was THERE for me, did everything, and even swam through shark-infested waters. I am recovered now and our marriage is transformed.
<p>He left an "I Love You" note for me one morning somewhere I would see it. Sigh!! I turned it over and wrote my own "I Love You" note for him and left it where he would find it. In the years since, we have never missed a day of passing that note back and forth. One morning I found it in my make-up bag. Another time he left it in my pack of smokes even though he wanted me to quit! One night, I found "I Love You" carved on the surface of the ice cream he had just bought me. Sometimes a single rose in a beautiful vase accompanies the note. You get the picture.</p>
<p>By the way, he now also has my dinner ready when I get home from work, does all the housework and laundry, takes care of my car, takes care of the yard, works out, practices tai chi and works at his leisure on hair salon clients he has had for over 50 years.</p>
<p>You hear this all the time: Dr. Laura, you are gifted. Your gift has made our gift of "us" possible and saved many years of trying in all the wrong ways, so thank you Dr. Laura.</p>
Dianne
Staff
2014-07-07T17:59:00Z
Predictors of Lasting Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Predictors-of-Lasting-Love/-399181812532524518.html
2014-07-02T17:59:00Z
2014-07-02T17:59:00Z
<p>Dear Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I have been married to my husband for 11 years. I listen to your show every day and have learned so much. The one thing I can say that has had the most impact on my life is how you are able to cut through the ego so brilliantly in order for your listeners to receive your advice. I have listened to you so much that I always know exactly how you will respond to the various questions. Even though there are a multitude of different questions you address daily, your responses still hold the same objective. Your objective is to find out the following things:</p>
<p>1. Treat Kindly - Are you your husband's girlfriend and take responsibility for your own actions first?</p>
<p>2. Choose Wisely - Did you know when you got married who you were marrying or are you surprised by a sudden change in personality?</p>
<p>3. Are you fearless enough to leave the situation?</p>
<p>4. Are you too cowardly and fearful to make the necessary changes?</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Victoria</p>
Staff
2014-07-02T17:59:00Z
Three Simple Rules
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Three-Simple-Rules/296123475919324663.html
2014-07-01T17:59:00Z
2014-07-01T17:59:00Z
<p> </p>
Dear Dr. Laura:
<p>Your show provides sense and guidance in a more and more senseless world. Thank you for what you do. Over 15 years ago, I was getting out of a bad relationship. Knowing I would be out there dating at some point, I knew I needed to make some rules. Here are my simple rules that led me into a wonderful relationship.</p>
<p>1. Don't lie to me. I'm a grown up woman. If I haven't seen it or done it, my friends or family have. If you have to lie, I don't want you in my life.</p>
<p>2. No bullcrap. This is different than lying. When dating, the guy gets a phone call and he lowers his voice and walks away. Later when you are at his house watching a movie, there's a late night knock on the door and it's an ex-girlfriend. Or he calls to say he is on his way to your house for dinner and doesn't show up for 2 hours.</p>
<p>3. You have to have fun. I know it's not always giggles and unpleasant things happen but in general and overall the relationship has to be fun.</p>
Dr. Laura, I would give these rules on the first date and tell them if they break one rule, one time that was the end of the relationship. I finally met a man who has never broken one of my rules. I am his girlfriend, and wife, for 12 happy, fun and respectful years!
<p>Best regards,</p>
Lura
Staff
2014-07-01T17:59:00Z
Effect of Divorce on Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Effect-of-Divorce-on-Children/624899411717311692.html
2014-06-30T18:00:00Z
2014-06-30T18:00:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,
<p>I feel compelled to write to you after listening to some of the calls that have come in lately. I am product of what not to do to your kids. My parents' selfish ways almost ruined me and most certainly ruined my sister. My mom and dad got a divorce when I was around 5 and my sister was 3. My dad had been cheating on my mom and moved out and in with the other woman and her kids. We were told to call my dad by his first name while my stepsisters all called him Dad. As a result of this, my mom was extremely bitter.</p>
A few years later, she let a child molester and alcoholic move into our home. The hardest thing I ever had to do was tell my mother he was touching me, and her response was, "He must of thought it was me." I grew up feeling like a piece of trash and there were many nights I prayed to God to please give my soul to someone who was worthy. I contemplated suicide all the time. When I was older, my mother saw me as competition, and put me down continually.
<p>Thankfully to say, I fought my way through, and am happily married to a wonderful man and I am my kid's mom. My children are very loved and life is good.</p>
<p>My sister however, has not been so lucky. She is a recovering heroin addict and is barely functional. I think back and know, had my parents just stuck it out for the sake of my sister and me, how differently our lives would have been. You don't know what ripple your actions could have on your kids and the potential hell you could drag them through.</p>
Thank you for your show. Because of you, I became my kids' mom!
<p>Wendy</p>
Staff
2014-06-30T18:00:00Z
Do You Remember When?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Do-You-Remember-When/694399721429186532.html
2014-06-27T17:59:00Z
2014-06-27T17:59:00Z
<p> </p>
Dear Dr. Laura,
<p>Twenty some odd years ago I brought my wife and two young sons to your Lake Arrowhead live remote show on a warm Saturday morning. By the time we arrived, the grassy area was full of people so we took a seat next to the steps at the foot of the stage. During the course of the afternoon, many individuals came to the microphone asking you questions for your expert advice.</p>
<p>Toward the end of the day, one young girl got up and asked what she should do because one of her friends had called her stupid. You told her not to be upset because everybody gets called stupid sometime during their lives. You then asked the crowd for a show of hands of anyone who had never been called stupid in their lifetime. I believe it was your husband that pointed out to you the only hand that went up in the audience. Toward your right at the bottom of the stairs, our 6-year-old son was frantically waving his hand to be noticed. You laughed and said he was too young to be counted.</p>
That was the first Dr. Laura Show that my wife and I ever listened to. For the next two decades we listened to your radio show every chance we got. It was a sad day when we learned you were leaving terrestrial radio; however, it was a fantastic day when we recently learned you had a talk show on SiriusXM. We immediately signed up. It was like finding an old friend that you haven't heard from in a while. Dr. Laura, please don't ever stop giving callers the excellent advice that these people need to hear. You are the sane voice in an insane world that is making a difference in so many lives. Keep up the phenomenal work.
<p>Best Regards,</p>
Sam
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-06-27T17:59:00Z
Peer Pressure
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Peer-Pressure/-318680601284905843.html
2014-06-26T18:40:00Z
2014-06-26T18:40:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,
<p>Growing up, I was never allowed to watch PG-13 movies, until I was old enough to discern movies of quality, or pre-approved by my parents. When I was a teen, probably around 15, this rule was still in place. I was out with a group of 'friends' during the summer, getting lunch, coffee, etc...The only reason I was invited, was because my lifelong best friend was popular and brought me along with her. This group of teens decided they wanted to see the movie "Eight Legged Freaks", rated PG-13. Well, this was quite the dilemma for me. I knew I shouldn't see it, nor did I want to. You didn't have to be a genius to know this was not a movie of quality. I couldn't leave, a parent had dropped of my best friend and me, and this was before every child under 12 had their own cell phone, so you had to plan a pick-up time. And I didn't want to sit around for 2+ hours by myself. What to do? What to do?! I could either disobey my parents and their trust to join in on the so-called fun, or I could stand my ground, do the right thing and see something appropriate.</p>
<p>I tried to persuade this group of ten or so to see another movie. To no avail, not even after the explanation that I was not allowed, did they care. The movie was about to start and I had to make a decision! I finally decided I did not want to be a part of a group that cared so little about me. They all went to see the movie, while I sat alone, completely alone, in an empty theater watching "Stuart Little 2". Not even my best friend came with me. This was not a decision that changed history, seeing the movie would not have changed my life. But I proved to myself that doing the right thing and not the popular thing was enough for me, even if that meant I was alone. And this at the ripe old age of 15!</p>
<p>Of this group, I am the only one with a well-adjusted attitude and life. I had one boyfriend-turned husband, a good job, no children yet, and am financially stable. This best friend is now an "arms distance friend", others in the group were married and divorced, in AA or drug rehab, or shacked up and knocked up - all by 21 years old. I can't help but feel pity for them, never learning or accepting the lesson I learned at 15.</p>
<p>Michaela</p>
<p>P.S. This was the first, and last outing I was invited to with this group. Which was perfectly fine with me.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-06-26T18:40:00Z
My Stupid Decision Turned Into a Great One
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Stupid-Decision-Turned-Into-a-Great-One/-174021312170848979.html
2014-06-25T17:59:00Z
2014-06-25T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,
<p>I am writing to you about my husband. I hesitate to share this with you because I consider you one of my role models and I know your thoughts on how long one should date before committing to marriage. I want you to know I completely agree with you!</p>
<p>My husband and I met when we were 27 and fell madly in love quickly. He proposed after just four short months of dating. Yup that's right, four months! We were married 18 months later. For two well-educated people to agree to commit their life to one another after knowing each other for four short months, bottom line, is just plain STUPID! Looking back, we both agree there were so many things that could have gone wrong in our marriage, but thankfully nothing ever did and 13 years later, I am happy to say we are even more in love.</p>
Evidence why my stupid decision turned into the best decision of my life: My husband is the most wonderful man, devoted husband, father and provider for our family. He is the type of man who sends me flowers just because. He calls me in the middle of the day to just say I love you. We can talk for hours after putting the kids down as if we were on our first date again. He is kind, supportive and respectful. Not only is he the financial provider for the family, but ADMIRES my decision to stay at home and raise our children. He loves to boast to his friends and family that I am CEO of our house! He stays in shape and wants to look sexy for me. Planning romantic getaways is his specialty. We laugh every day. He comes home despite not finishing work just to eat dinner as a family, then heads back to his law practice working sometimes until midnight. He never gets angry staying up late putting together a toy for one our kids even when I told him the instructions said it would only take ten minutes to complete. My husband buys sexy underwear for my birthday and not a kitchen appliance. With a smile on his face, he tells me how delicious dinner was despite the occasional burnt chicken. After a long day at work, he still finds the energy to go bike riding with the kids or play kickball in the front yard. When our kids were babies, he would change their diaper in the middle of the night when he knew I had a hard day despite having one himself. There isn't a day that goes by without him telling me how beautiful I am. Despite his busy work schedule, he became a Boy Scout Den Leader for our son. His masculinity never gets in the way of learning how to braid our daughter's hair or have a tea party with her and her dolls. From school plays, to art shows, to ballet recitals, he never misses one event involving our kids. My husband is my best friend, soul mate, and reason why MY life is wonderful. In the end, my stupid decision became the best one I ever made.
<p>I am my kids' mom, my hubby's girlfriend and a huge Dr. Laura fan,</p>
Heidi
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-06-25T17:59:00Z
A Father's Wisdom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Fathers-Wisdom/793445572297862902.html
2014-06-24T17:59:00Z
2014-06-24T17:59:00Z
Dr. Laura,
<p>While filling out a Father's Day card for my dad, which talked about the wisdom a father gives, got me thinking about a particular incident that now, later in life, was a great life lesson.</p>
I was 16 years old and I'd had a "hard day" at school, the kind of day in which nothing went right. My family was having supper at the kitchen table like we always did and my mom was grilling me about something that had happened, adding to the level of my frustration. Then for some unknown reason I snapped and told her, "Will you just shut up!" It was so surreal. I knew better and it was like I was watching the words come out of my mouth in slow motion...and couldn't stop them.
<p>The room went completely silent, and before my fork could hit the plate, my dad had already made it around the table, grabbed me by my shirt, shoved me across the kitchen, and had me pressed against the wall with my shirt balled up in his fist underneath my chin so tight I couldn't lower my jaw and could only look him in the eye. I was no stranger to my dad's discipline, but he was not a violent man, and I have to admit that it was probably deserved. So I'm pressed against the wall, my dad staring at me for what seemed like lifetimes, and in a very slow and stern voice he says to me: "Let me make this perfectly clear, I LOVED HER FIRST. Are we clear?" I gave the only acceptable and safe answer I could... "Yes, sir".</p>
I learned 2 things that day: the amount of love a man owes his wife, even if it means defending his wife's honor to his own son. And any thoughts I may have ever had that I could "take my old man" was ludicrous.
<p>Thank you Dad for giving me the blocks to become a great man, thank you to my wife for providing the mortar to bind those blocks, and thank you, Dr Laura, for providing the instruction book on how to put it all together.</p>
Jeff
Staff
2014-06-24T17:59:00Z
My Boyfriend Held My Hand!!!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Boyfriend-Held-My-Hand!!!/284374923611436055.html
2014-06-23T17:59:00Z
2014-06-23T17:59:00Z
<p> </p>
I need to thank you and brag about my boyfriend - he's actually my husband of 7 years. He carries me to bed if I fall asleep on the couch, takes out the trash, and still makes me mixed tapes. He's the unscuzziest, hardest working, most loving man I could have ever been blessed with - and he just got better!<br /><br /> When we started dating 12 years ago, he introduced me to you. Although I'm an avid listener now and it seems as though every sentence I say starts with, "Dr. Laura would say ...", as a 17 year old, I did not like what I was hearing from you on the radio. What's this "stay-at-home mom nonsense"? "What do you mean we shouldn't move in together before we're married? How else do we know if the marriage will work or not?" Various other questions along those lines were streaming out of my mouth every time we listened to your program. Well, he held fast in his commitment to following your words and to make you proud and impressed for a then 20-year-old boy. <br /><br /> We got married at 21 and 24, much younger than you recommend, and I realize why now, but we did wait to move in with each other until after marriage. We've had our major ups and downs like any relationship, but your words coached us through. One thing that we've always been good at is cuddling. We're still all over each other like teenagers. It's pretty amazing and so cute - if anyone was watching they'd most likely be sick.<br /><br /> One thing that has always bothered me though is that he's not so affectionate in public - he doesn't initiate hand holding. I've never nagged about it; I just grab his hand, get in my hand holding fix and move on. Well, now at 5 months pregnant with our first child, with new "cankles" and some veins protruding in places that will be embarrassing when I'm in a bathing suit, I need all the affection I can get. We were walking along the sidewalk the other day and I mentioned to him, "I was listening to Dr. Laura and she said whenever she sees a couple holding hands in public she stares because she thinks it's so special and cute". In his continuing desires to make you proud, he grabbed my hand - it feels like he hasn't let go since.<br /><br /> He also recently went out and bought "Bad Childhood, Good Life" for my sister who is now 17. She can't put it down and that warms my heart.<br /><br /> So, that's it. I just needed to let you know that there is a man out there working hard and listening to your every word. He's a real man and I cannot wait for him to show our daughter what an amazing husband looks like, and of course, to watch him hold her hand. Thank you for what you do and thank you for creating a man I not only love, but I really, really like.<br /><br /> Breesa
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-06-23T17:59:00Z
Get Your Legs Rested
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Get-Your-Legs-Rested/813443639059626060.html
2014-06-20T17:59:00Z
2014-06-20T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br /> I know you say you're not much of a runner, but I wanted you to know you were my training buddy for a recent San Diego half marathon. You and I ran 260.5 miles during the course of 12 weeks. You were with me every step of the way via your podcast and I am so thankful. Running a half marathon was a huge life goal for me and if I hadn't been listening to you on every run I don't think I would have made it. You and I ran the half marathon Sunday, June 1st and finished! Our time wasn't amazing but that's okay, rather than training for pace we trained to not collapse!<br /><br /> Thank you SO much for being my running partner! Get your legs rested because I am signing us up for another race in the near future!<br /><br /> Love,<br /><br /> Sarah<br /><br /> P.S. Here is a picture of me holding our finisher's medal, surrounded by my supportive husband and two daughters. You're nestled snugly in my armband!
<p> </p>
<img src="/images/blog/eodpic_062014.jpg" alt="" width="329" height="600" />
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-06-20T17:59:00Z
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands and Wigs!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Proper-Care-and-Feeding-of-Husbands-and-Wigs!/-582286010814049258.html
2014-06-19T17:59:00Z
2014-06-19T17:59:00Z
<br /><br /> Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br /> I'm 63 years old and my husband's girlfriend of 34 years. I am my grown kids' mom and my 4 grandkids grand mommy!<br /><br /> When your book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" came out years ago, I had been married I don't know, at least 15 years. I was thrilled to read the book to find I had treated my husband as the book suggests! I had figured out how to keep my marriage to my high-maintenance husband going well, by being THAT wife you describe in your book. I came away from reading your book with delight because I had resented all those years of having to "work so hard" to keep things so good! I continued to treat him well and HE turned into my hero!<br /><br /> We are now empty nesters and all is well. Two years ago I got breast cancer, if I had been younger I would have died from it in short order, but I have a good prognosis. It is the one time I'm glad about my age! I had to have one breast removed and began chemo therapy. They told me my hair WOULD come out - my beautiful hair! Somehow I had managed to accept the loss of a breast, but, my hair? It was just another blow to my femininity and I had been quite feminine.<br /><br /> The day it began to come out I was alone. I got a glass of wine, turned on some sweet OPERA and began brushing my hair out in clumps. With the first huge clump I started to cry, but stopped myself. I shook my head, brushed away that one tear and said: "There are worse things". Within an hour, I'd brushed most of my hair out with the exception of a few stubborn clumps. The next day my grown kids had me over for a shaving party and we laughed together and there was no reason to cry at all. My husband in the meantime never balked at any of the loss of my sexiness. He made love to me as if I were just as attractive as I had always been. I wore wigs during the year that it took to grow out my hair, and he loved them! I loved them! Once my hair grew long enough not to wear wigs anymore I gladly gave them up. They were hot and made me feel like a gal with cancer.<br /><br /> One day my husband sweetly said he wished I'd wear them once in a while to dinner or… I hesitated in my mind, thinking how I just didn't want to bother. "Why should I?" I thought to myself. Then I remembered I AM his girlfriend. I would do it if I were newly married to him and trying to make him have a good time, why wouldn't I do it now? I had been actually so satisfied by his complete loving response to me even after losing a boob and my hair that I sort of rested on those laurels! I decided to wear the wigs again, for a dinner out here and there. He was thrilled! I HAVE to admit I look good in those dang things and felt sexy...I had remained my husband's girlfriend and he has remained my hero! We are more in love now than we have ever been.<br /><br /> Charity
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-06-19T17:59:00Z
Remarrying When There Are Minor Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Remarrying-When-There-Are-Minor-Children/-220496025094354267.html
2014-06-18T17:59:00Z
2014-06-18T17:59:00Z
<br /> <br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br /> I wanted to comment on your rule of not dating when there are minor children in the home. I agree with you wholeheartedly. I am 47 years old and lost my husband 18 months ago rather unexpectedly due to complications of diabetes. I have two teenage girls and my 91-year-old mother-in-law living with me. I work thirty hours a week which allows me to get home reasonably soon after my children get out of school.<br /><br /> I hear of other single, divorced and widowed individuals who are out looking for their next love interest. I have to say that at this time, there is nothing further from my mind. For one thing, I have little time or energy left for myself. I seldom even get a chance to get together with my friends, never mind to date. I'm OK with that for now because I know that is the way it has to be. Someone suggested to me recently that they didn't see anything wrong with me beginning to date. I almost laughed, which brings me to my second point, which is, who would want me right now? I have nothing to offer anyone. I remember my father telling me one time about a man he worked with who was a workaholic. He was divorced and about to remarry. His fiancee wised up and broke off the engagement. She told him that his work was first, his children were second, and she was third. She told him if he could not make her first, then she did not want to marry him. I look at the prospect of my dating the same way. I don't want to be second or third either. And there is no way I could put someone else first right now. If I can't put them first, how could I expect them to put me first?<br /><br /> Once my children are out of the house and on their own, I can think about dating if I choose to, but that will have to wait. For now, I have other priorities and the prospect of dating will have to go on the back burner.<br /><br /> Keep fighting the good fight. Thank you for all you do.<br /><br /> Christine
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-06-18T17:59:00Z
Turning Down Sex Less Often
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Turning-Down-Sex-Less-Often/499424547215894127.html
2014-06-17T17:59:00Z
2014-06-17T17:59:00Z
<br /> Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br /> I am a long time listener to your show. My husband and I have been married for almost 17 years. I am 38 and he is 40. Over the years, there have been times we both have turned the other down for sex for one reason or another. I have noticed that most often the reason he turns sex down is timing. Ever since I was a baby, I have been a night owl - my poor parents. I still have the tendency to be a night owl. So my mojo for such activities stirs up late, when he is already in bed or about to crash after an exhausting day. For myself, turning him down was also timing, but body image and not feeling sexy too. After listening to the letters and phone calls around the release of "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands", I realized in a bit of an epiphany, the signals my husband was receiving from me. So, now, he is much happier in that department, wink. I have also lost 83 pounds and now that my husband has a sexy wife, he turns down those late night play sessions far less.<br /><br /> Melissa
<p> </p>
<br />
Staff
2014-06-17T17:59:00Z
My 'I Am My Kid's Mom' Experience
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-I-Am-My-Kids-Mom-Experience/-106468750817434681.html
2014-06-16T17:59:00Z
2014-06-16T17:59:00Z
<br /> Dear Dr. Laura -
<p> </p>
I am a 25 year happily married mother of a 14-year-old girl. I am a working mom and I am ashamed to say that during the first 5 years of my daughter's life, I was not "my kid's mom" in the way that you advise we should be. I had a busy career and even though my gut told me not to go back to work after her birth, my husband convinced me we couldn't afford for me to quit. We decided a nanny at home would be a perfect option-after all I wasn't putting my child in day care, right? <br /><br />I worked daily from 9-5, not including my commute time and traveled extensively. My husband was home while I traveled and my mother came to help out often. Every trip, I felt my heart was being ripped out as I left and I counted the minutes while I was away at trade shows and customers-miserable and anxious every time I had to leave. I had my "aha!" moment when it was time to register my daughter for kindergarten and she was 5 years old - WHERE DID THAT TIME GO?? How was it possible I was putting her into kindergarten already? I realized that my daughter was growing faster than I wanted and I immediately decided I wasn't going to miss another moment of her life. I convinced my husband it was what had to be done and he reluctantly went along. <br /><br />I convinced my employer to let me work remotely and my husband found a job in a less expensive part of the state, which also happened to be closer to our immediate family. We sold our home and bought a more affordable one, yet quite comfortable for the three of us. Shortly thereafter, I was fired from my job, but frankly, that was the best thing to ever happen to me! I was able to take an administrative job at a local company only during the hours my daughter was in school and spent the next 3 years at this job, enjoying the low-stress, much lower pay position and more importantly, being able to be home when the school bus arrived, have time to make dinner and enjoy quality time with our family. Then, I got an amazing opportunity to work in the industry I exited 3 years earlier. I passed. They persisted. I then laid out my terms: flexible schedule - only working during the hours my daughter was in school or summer camp, 4 weeks paid vacation, minimal business travel and a higher salary. They agreed to my terms and I've been there for 6 years. I work primarily from home, but on days that I do need to go into the office, I don't do so until my daughter is on her school bus and leave in time to greet her after school. And now that my daughter is 14, my employers are aware I have no intention of working any more hours until she is away at college. <br /><br />I want wives and moms out there to know that you are right. You reformed me. Where there is a will, there is a way and I am so much happier and fulfilled now. <br /><br />Thank you for pounding that message into our heads daily! <br /><br /> C.
Staff
2014-06-16T17:59:00Z
When My Husband Says No, It's a Sure Sign of...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-My-Husband-Says-No,-Its-a-Sure-Sign-of.../636337577889580913.html
2014-06-13T17:59:00Z
2014-06-13T17:59:00Z
<br />
<p>...my turn to be patient with him. Like every wife, I thought something was wrong when he started turning me down for sex. I had a checklist of whys:</p>
<ol> Am I doing something wrong? Am I not attractive to him anymore? Is he discovering he is just not into me anymore? The dreaded: Is he playing around on me? (This thought lasted a hot second.) Is he sick? Is it my age...not exactly a spring chick anymore? </ol>
<p>Well, I could think of more thoughts, but none of them would be true. My husband, like me, is getting older as well. What comes with that is staring at your own immortality. My husband is hot and he will always be that way to me. He dislikes getting older, but he is getting better at it. I am still his girlfriend. I still give him lap dances. I still send him secret photos and love messages. I still dress the way he enjoys looking at me best. I still do these things and more.</p>
<p>He is patient man and, now, it is my turn to show him patience, as well. Men like my husband have a harder time coming to grip with the fact they are not as virile as they once were. I let him know when other ladies are checking him out and he does the same for me. More importantly, he still gets handsy with me and I with him. We grope each other all day long. So, I can't complain about this time in his life. I love him period!</p>
<p>Donna</p>
Staff
2014-06-13T17:59:00Z
To Dad and His Teachable Moments
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/To-Dad-and-His-Teachable-Moments/858918729907916843.html
2014-06-12T17:59:00Z
2014-06-12T17:59:00Z
<br />
<p>There was once a boy who was born in 1935 in Forest Hills, New York and went on many fun adventures. In 1950, he started his own business in 1958 which he ran for 56 years! He also married the most beautiful woman in every sense of the way. He and his wife had a daughter in 1973, their one and only -- their treasure.</p>
<p>How this man adored his daughter. He was there for her, attended every event, and made many "teachable" moments. At the time, his one and only didn't realize how important these lessons would be, but he would say, "Just you wait, it will all make sense one day."</p>
<p>His one and only grew up, earned her Master's degree, married the most wonderful man on earth, and had a handsome baby boy. Now, his one and only had given birth and that was his crowning achievement: the proudest grandfather imaginable.</p>
<p>A year later, he had to have triple bypass surgery. He looked at his surgeon and said, "Doc, I'm not a greedy man, just give me some more time so that my grandson will remember me, get me to when he's at least 5 or 6 years old." His surgeon looked at him with a smile and said, "I'll make sure to give you more than that." Well, he had 10 more wonderful years! Years filled with many great lessons, teachable moments, hugs and kisses.</p>
<p>This man was my father. My dad recently passed away, peaceful as could be. The day after his death, I was driving and listening to music I knew he loved. Tears were streaming down my face but I shockingly realized I was actually smiling at the same time - yes, smiling! That's when it all came full circle. Everything he every taught me, showed me, and told me about culminated in that powerful moment, that smile. His gift to me. It was his guidance and parenting that led me to that smile.</p>
<p>Because of him, I'm a happy, responsible, and confident wife and mother...just what he had always wanted for me. Thank you Dad for teaching me how to become the person I have become today. Thank you for your guidance and wisdom that I use today to be the best mom possible to your grandson.</p>
<p>One more note, when my dad died, friends and family would say "how are you feeling?" I really thought about that question, pondered it. My response was that I felt grateful and proud. Grateful for all those many wonderful seeds he planted while parenting me and proud, because simply put, I am 'his' daughter. Dad, onward, upward, and here's to teachable moments!</p>
<p>Dr. Laura, I've listened to your program for many years now. I haven't just been a listener but I've truly "listened." I want to thank you for your wise advice, but most of all, your true genuine spirit.</p>
<p>Lisa</p>
<br />
Staff
2014-06-12T17:59:00Z
The Importance of Choosing Wisely
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-of-Choosing-Wisely/-510119449872152763.html
2014-06-11T17:59:00Z
2014-06-11T17:59:00Z
<br />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I wanted to write your listeners especially those single ladies looking for the perfect man. I cannot tell you how important it is to choose wisely when looking for a husband.</p>
<p>Six years ago, I met my husband and from the get go he treated me like a lady: opened doors for me, pumped my gas, cleaned my windshield and made my life just a little easier. We dated for two years and then got married and were ready to start our life together. Of course, like most couples we wanted to start a family after being married for a year. We had struggled to get pregnant, but were blessed to conceive our daughter.</p>
<p>Things were perfect until one fateful day in August of 2012. While heading home from work, an elderly lady driving the wrong way down the highway hit me head on while I was 7 months pregnant with our daughter. We lost our first and only child that day. I do not know how I could have made it through the storm of losing a child and recovering physically from the wreck without my strong and supportive husband.</p>
<p>I tell you ladies, all the Hollywood romance will fade, but to have a man care for you when you can do nothing for yourself physically and emotionally is true everlasting love. After losing our daughter my husband had to stand by my side through a miscarriage and failed IVF. I can truly say he is my best friend and all I hope for is to grow old with him. We have been blessed this year with a miracle baby who we had on March 6th. To see my husband talk with our new baby, I think many of times that I did choose wisely.</p>
<p>I took this picture three days after my wreck just to tell myself that it didn't kill me and I will survive this. My husband thought I was crazy for doing so, but posed with me anyways.</p>
<p>Thank you,</p>
<p>Brooke</p>
<p><img src="/images/blog/eod_061114.jpg" alt="" width="600" height="457" /></p>
Staff
2014-06-11T17:59:00Z
Why Couples Turn Down Sex
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Couples-Turn-Down-Sex/-110098973010809207.html
2014-06-10T17:59:00Z
2014-06-10T17:59:00Z
<br />
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I obviously only can respond from my own point of view. As with most marriages, sex between us has waxed and waned. I, as the male, have almost always had to be the initiator of sex. Early in our marriage, my wife said I was sometimes too insistent, wanted sex too often, and was too blunt or blatant in seeking sex. Therefore, I adjusted my behavior to try to be more subtle, less demanding, less insistent. I even tried to rely on her to sometimes be the initiator. The result has generally been, she does not grasp my subtle and sometimes not very subtle signals and almost never initiates.</p>
<p>Why do I sometimes turn down sex? Because my wife either is totally insensitive to my needs or chooses to ignore them, I can eventually lose all patience and subtlety, at which she grudgingly "agrees" to "mercy sex." I do not want mercy sex. I do not want sex that is offered grudgingly. Even my wife admits or claims that our sex seldom, if ever, results in an orgasm for her. But she also claims to have little to no libido. She says she has discussed this with her doctor, but the doctor will not or does not want to treat her libido with medication.</p>
<p>I am an attentive husband. I try to seek opportunities for romance, but she seems oblivious. I do much of the work in our home including all cooking, all cleaning after meals, much of the laundry, and many other things. All pretty much to no avail. Further, my wife's disabled mother has lived with us for seven years, almost entirely at my expense and I do my part to take care of her.</p>
<p>At the age of 63 and after 43 years of marriage, I sometimes feel it's not worth all the effort, but the effort to do anything else also is too much. I feel unappreciated, overly-criticized, and too often ignored.</p>
<p>John</p>
Staff
2014-06-10T17:59:00Z
Heartbreak at Morning Drop Off
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Heartbreak-at-Morning-Drop-Off/-596694975008757908.html
2014-06-09T17:59:00Z
2014-06-09T17:59:00Z
<br />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>Saw the saddest thing this morning. I was out getting ready to mow my yard and saw a mom dropping her son off at my neighbor's house who is a day care provider. The poor little guy was clinging to his mom begging for her not to go and crying hysterically. His mom then said to her son. "Stop this crap. I need to get to work," and handed him to my neighbor. The mom then quipped, "I love you," and got in her car and drove away.</p>
<p>In the meantime, the little boy repeatedly stated while crying, "I want my mommy… I want my mommy...." while my neighbor was leading him into her house. I sat there thinking, "Lady you are so lucky. Your son loves you so much and really wants to be with you, but this will change when he grows up with these unhappy memories of how you treated him."</p>
<p>Don't know what else to say.</p>
<p>Thanks Dr. Laura and love your show and advice.</p>
<p>Regards,</p>
<p>Ann</p>
Staff
2014-06-09T17:59:00Z
What Great Memories Stay-at-Home Moms Create
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Great-Memories-Stay-at-Home-Moms-Create/47612172684077031.html
2014-06-06T17:59:00Z
2014-06-06T17:59:00Z
<br />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I've been listening to you for many years. I am an avid, ardent fan. I quote you often to my kids... My husband and I have been married 40 years; we were high school sweethearts; have three adult, happily married kids. Between the three families, we have 8 grandchildren from 9-years-old to 6 months with another on the way. All three moms are professionals: a computer scientist, a special education teacher and a program management consultant. All three women are also stay-at-home moms. They take our breath away - they are the absolute exception to most if not all of their peers, and there has never been a moments wavering of any of the three couples as to their resolve to raise their kids. All three families are financially comfortable, but they could be much more comfortable if they had returned to their careers. Our kids choose wisely and treat and are treated kindly, that's for sure. The daily texts, emails and pictures of our grandchildren taking first steps, first baseball games, karate lessons and belts, piling chairs up to the kitchen counter or scaling gates, lining blocks up the back of the family gentle giant mastiff dog, tossing a shoe out an open car window as they run errands, big sister hugging her baby brother... are a dream come true to us grandparents, as the moms nurture, cart around and just have a blast with their kids.</p>
<p>I have to thank you for being the resounding voice in what seems to be an endless wilderness on this issue.</p>
<p>With much gratitude,</p>
<p>Mary Jo</p>
Staff
2014-06-06T17:59:00Z
So I Went to an Adult Lingerie Store...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/So-I-Went-to-an-Adult-Lingerie-Store.../410853836407784779.html
2014-06-05T20:55:00Z
2014-06-05T20:55:00Z
<br />
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have been a long time listener and really value your advice and lessons to help have a happy marriage. As a mom of a 3-year-old, sometimes it's hard to put in the effort to be my husband's girlfriend, even though I know from listening to you and your callers what can happen if I don't.</p>
<p>So this past week, my husband was out of town in Mexico for work. I decided to surprise him with some sexy lingerie when he got home. I am not 100% happy with my body and don't EVER wear lingerie. So I went to an adult store and found a very racy outfit. I was feeling good just buying it knowing how shocked he would be. So I did my hair, makeup, put on the lingerie and some extremely high stilettos and greeted him when he got home. He was floored. He said he didn't think I had it in me and if I wanted anything, now was the time to ask. It's amazing how something so small, fun, and sexy brought intimacy and excitement back. We both thank you very much.</p>
<p>Ladies, don't be a nag. Be a sexy wife. You'll get more than what you are hoping for. Thank you Dr. Laura. You truly get it.</p>
<p>Michelle</p>
Staff
2014-06-05T20:55:00Z
Rating the Girls
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Rating-the-Girls/793246516062436908.html
2014-06-04T20:07:00Z
2014-06-04T20:07:00Z
<br />
<p>Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>Sometimes when I hear a young woman call in about boy woes, I am reminded of something that happened to me. When I was in high school many years ago, a guy friend told me that he rated girls from one to five: <br /><br /></p>
<ol>
<li>ugly </li>
<li>ok </li>
<li>cute </li>
<li>pretty </li>
<li>beautiful </li>
</ol>
<p><br />He then told me I was a 3. Needless to say, I was disappointed to just be "cute." What girl doesn't want to be seen as Pretty or Beautiful? He said, "the cute girls get all the dates. Guys are afraid of the beautiful girls. We figure they are stuck up or out of our league. Pretty girls only seem to go out with the most popular or wealthy or charming guys. The cute girls are approachable, fun, not full of themselves, and are asked out the most. Cute girls are the ones that guys take home to meet Mom."</p>
<p>You know what? He was right. I was amazed in the following years I never lacked for dates as a young lady even though I never slept with a single guy till I married my husband, and I didn't even kiss on the first date. I watched with wonder as my pretty and beautiful friends were NOT asked out by some great guys. It amazes me still to this day. So I don't mind being a 3, because after all, the right guy did take me home to meet his wonderful mom over 31 years ago. And <strong>he </strong>thinks I'm beautiful!</p>
<p>Candy</p>
<br /><br /> <br />
Staff
2014-06-04T20:07:00Z
What Great Memories Stay-at-Home Moms Create
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Great-Memories-Stay-at-Home-Moms-Create/541120300886683109.html
2014-06-04T18:47:00Z
2014-06-04T18:47:00Z
<br />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I've been listening to you for many years. I am an avid, ardent fan. I quote you often to my kids... My husband and I have been married 40 years; we were high school sweethearts; have three adult, happily married kids. Between the three families, we have 8 grandchildren from 9-years-old to 6 months with another on the way. All three moms are professionals: a computer scientist, a special education teacher and a program management consultant. All three women are also stay-at-home moms. They take our breath away - they are the absolute exception to most if not all of their peers, and there has never been a moments wavering of any of the three couples as to their resolve to raise their kids. All three families are financially comfortable, but they could be much more comfortable if they had returned to their careers. Our kids choose wisely and treat and are treated kindly, that's for sure. The daily texts, emails and pictures of our grandchildren taking first steps, first baseball games, karate lessons and belts, piling chairs up to the kitchen counter or scaling gates, lining blocks up the back of the family gentle giant mastiff dog, tossing a shoe out an open car window as they run errands, big sister hugging her baby brother... are a dream come true to us grandparents, as the moms nurture, cart around and just have a blast with their kids.</p>
<p>I have to thank you for being the resounding voice in what seems to be an endless wilderness on this issue.</p>
<p>With much gratitude,</p>
<p>Mary Jo</p>
Staff
2014-06-04T18:47:00Z
My Husband's Irritation Instantly Vanished
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husbands-Irritation-Instantly-Vanished/903137746304168179.html
2014-06-03T17:59:00Z
2014-06-03T17:59:00Z
<br />
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Not too long ago our family went through a bout of the stomach flu. It started with our 3-year-old son. We were eating dinner and everything he had just consumed came back up… Again…And again.</p>
<p>My husband had a long day at work and really didn't feel like cleaning up that huge mess, but as I took our son to the bathroom for a quick bath, he began the task. When I came back, he was still cleaning so I told him to go relax while I finished. That was when inspiration struck. I pretended that I got vomit on my pants and went into the kitchen to take them off. I then went back into the dining room and proceeded to finish cleaning. I made sure that my, uh, underwear clad derriere was well within view of my husband's vision. I didn't even look up until I was completely done and the look on his face was well worth it.</p>
<p>It wasn't until later that I found out he actually took a picture. I'm sure you'd appreciate it if I didn't attach the image</p>
<p>Katherine</p>
<br /><br /> <br />
Staff
2014-06-03T17:59:00Z
I Resigned from My Job Today
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Resigned-from-My-Job-Today/44234105391988939.html
2014-06-02T17:59:00Z
2014-06-02T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura,<br /> <br />I have been listening to you since I graduated from college 12 years ago. I can't tell you how much your words of wisdom and advice have affected my life and decisions.<br /> <br />I completed my master's degree, and started dating my husband when I was 30. After a year of courtship, he asked my father's permission to propose, and we were married a year after that. After two and a half years of a marriage - I love being my husband's girlfriend - we are preparing to welcome our first child this month.<br /> <br />Today, I went to my boss and resigned in order to start my next chapter as my kid's mom. I have an amazing job and career, but raising my baby is more important. Like you say...there are dozens of people who can take my job, but I am the only one who can give my baby girl what she needs. My husband and I have worked hard over the past two years to prepare financially and emotionally for this decision. When I called my husband this morning to say that I had resigned, I have never heard him happier. He said it meant so much to him to have his loving wife staying home to raise his child - and that he has never felt more motivated to continue doing well in his career. I could hear the pride in his voice...pride in being a strong man providing for his family.<br /> <br />Thank you for being such an incredible role model and moral compass for me. I love listening to you every day at work and can't wait to continue doing so from my home as a stay-at-home mom. Keep up the great work!<br /> <br />Sara<br />
Staff
2014-06-02T17:59:00Z
Redirecting a Strong Will
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Redirecting-a-Strong-Will/191130500767853989.html
2014-05-30T17:59:00Z
2014-05-30T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura,<br /> <br />This morning, while listening to your podcast, I was surprised to see my 11-year-old daughter drop to the floor and start doing push-ups. She informed me she wanted to do push-ups regularly so she could get stronger, but sometimes she wasn't very good at remembering. However, she mentioned it was easier to remember them when you were on the air and she got back to them with a grin. It seemed fitting for her to do push-ups while listening to your show.<br /> <br />Thanks for helping me redirect her extremely strong will into constructive behaviors. You have been a great influence on our family!<br /> <br />Jennifer
Staff
2014-05-30T17:59:00Z
What a Selfish B!%$h I Was!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-a-Selfish-B!$h-I-Was!/-161426788596278096.html
2014-05-29T17:59:00Z
2014-05-29T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />My husband had always asked for sex, usually 3-4 times a day. Over the course of almost 10 years of marriage, my usual response was to shut his requests down as I was too tired, not interested, or didn't want to get back in the shower afterwards. He stopped asking me 3-4 times a day. In fact, he stopped asking me all together over the last several months. This made me feel he no longer desired me.<br /> <br />I asked him why he no longer wanted to have sex. He said he was sick of being turned down and learned to stop asking. Thinking about my issue and what you might say if we talked, I realized the issue was not the sex at all. The issue was that I was being a complete selfish bitch to the man who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Worse yet, even in that moment of revelation if he re-approached me and asked for sex, I would act cruel and deny him still. So no, this had nothing to do with the sex. It had to do with me mistreating my husband and him being the wonderful man he is, staying with me and learning to live without sex.<br /> <br />The only problem is now that I realize what a mean selfish wife I have been, I still have yet to have him ask me for sex. Given, this is a new found revelation. I have since read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage". These books made me realize how lucky I am to have such a wonderful husband, and just how much he loves me. I had been withholding love for nearly 10 years, and felt very "out of love" with him. Your books have helped me see the light at the end of the tunnel that I decided to crawl into all by myself.<br /> <br />I have started treating him with appreciation, admiration, and respect. And as you said in your books, he really is a simple creature. He has started to show me that same appreciation, admiration, and respect that I so longed to receive. I cannot believe what an idiot I have been for all these years, and how my life could have been so much more gratifying knowing that I had a man of all qualities that every sane woman would want. Yes, I now know how wonderful my husband, my partner, my son's father really is. I show him every day how much I am in love with him, and even though we still have not had sex, I know he is slowly coming around. He even made a comment he was not used to such unusual behavior from me. So I think once he realizes it's here to stay, he will again be ready to share more intimate moments with me and see that I will never be so selfish as to say no to sex again.<br /> <br />Thank you Dr. Laura. For mine is a marriage that has been truly saved because of you!<br /> <br />Best,<br /> <br />Devra<br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-05-29T17:59:00Z
This Memorial Day on Foreign Soil
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/This-Memorial-Day-on-Foreign-Soil/-34555352406795722.html
2014-05-28T17:59:00Z
2014-05-28T17:59:00Z
<br />My husband is my hero in combat boots who comes home to lots of affection by his kids and me - his at-home wife. As a military family, we teach our children about respect, honor, sacrifice, dedication, follow-through and the difference between wrong and right along with its consequences.<br /> <br />This past Memorial Day was a regular two-day weekend here in the Netherlands, where we are currently stationed. On Sunday, my husband put on his dress blues and volunteered his time as an escort for wreath layers at the cemetery in Margraten, the only American military cemetery in the Netherlands. Our entire family as well as thousands others attended a solemn and very impressive ceremony to pay tribute to the American service members who fought for freedom and are now buried there. This is the only U.S. cemetery where all graves are adopted by the local Dutch citizens. These adopters are "stand-ins" for the families of these U.S. soldiers for visiting and bringing flowers on special occasions just like Memorial Day and Christmas. We were honored to be able to attend this ceremony and were only one of many active-duty families present. The attendance and teaching our children before/during/after these events are paramount to ensure we never forget those who sacrificed their lives for peace. Everyone's presence ensured that future generations will remember. This is what Memorial Day is about. It's about remembering and honoring our veterans - not a three-day weekend used to catch as many sales as possible, eat hot dogs and going camping.<br /> <br />Attached, you will find a picture of my amazing husband, the escort, posing with the ladies from the nurses' corp. Such a charmer!<br /> <br />Katrin<br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/eod_052814.jpg" alt="" width="600" height="450" /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-05-28T17:59:00Z
Women as Breadwinners
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Women-as-Breadwinners/-252644607155021238.html
2014-05-27T17:59:00Z
2014-05-27T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I used to be the bread winner; I also used to like wearing the pants in the family. My attitude changed as I got older. I don't want to wear the pants in the family now. <br /><br />I like my husband making the money while I can make sure my kids are loved and protected at home. My job is harder than his is. I can say this because I used to do the job he's doing now which is teaching. There's no way I could teach and raise my three children. Anyone who thinks they can do that without their children suffering are either superhuman or they are lying to themselves. He likes being the breadwinner. <br /><br />My life is way more liberated now as a wife and mother than it ever was as a career wife. Some men can't find jobs, or it just so happens that their wives get paid more than they do. But there are a lot of men out there who need to square their shoulders and lean into their responsibilities as men. None of my working mom/wife/main-breadwinner friends work harder than I do; neither do they have it as good as I do. I wouldn't trade my position with theirs. I'd live in a one room studio with my husband and three kids before I'd do that. It would be small, but we'd all be safe and happy. <br /><br />Stacie <br /><br /> <br />
Staff
2014-05-27T17:59:00Z
The Bitch and the Girlfriend
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Bitch-and-the-Girlfriend/-191279841965610678.html
2014-05-23T17:59:00Z
2014-05-23T17:59:00Z
<br />
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1400268482475_10151" class="yiv0589598017MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1400268482475_10181" style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Dearest Dr. Laura, </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1400268482475_10147" class="yiv0589598017MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1400268482475_10146" style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I am my kids’ mom (ages 3 and 1) and for a long time that is all I thought I needed to be. Slowly I watched as my marriage slipped into the nightly bickering routine right before my eyes. Well, I didn't so much watch as I actively participated in its deterioration. I found myself complaining AT my husband for the most trivial and random things. I watched this beautiful, strong, provider of a man starting to break. </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1400268482475_10153" class="yiv0589598017MsoPlainText"><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1400268482475_10156" class="yiv0589598017MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1400268482475_10155" style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Then, months ago, I heard you on the radio talking to a whiny woman who sounded just like me. Although I’ve been a listener since childhood, it only just then clicked for me: If you want to keep this wonderful man, the father of your children, STOP what you're doing and appreciate the hell out of him. </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1400268482475_10183" class="yiv0589598017MsoPlainText"><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1400268482475_10159" class="yiv0589598017MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1400268482475_10158" style="font-size: 10.0pt;">So I am here to tell you I've been both: the bitch who whines about unimportant details to try to make him prove he loves me at any and every moment... and NOW the girlfriend/wife who writes him love notes daily telling him how much I appreciate him: the work he does day in and day out to allow me to raise our babies; the way he fills up my gas tank without me having to ask him because he knows it makes my life easier; the Saturday mornings when he wakes up with the kids so I can get an extra 30 minutes of sleep, etc. Our marriage has blossomed into something so beautiful I don't even recognize it in the best possible way. I want to do these things for him, I want to show him how much he means to me because I see his shoulders broadening with pride each time I do. I also see him more actively involved with the kids and with me. Nice begets nice and mean, well it does the same. I have been both the bitch and the girlfriend and the girlfriend suits me beautifully. I think I may even have a glow if I do say so myself! </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1400268482475_10186" class="yiv0589598017MsoPlainText"><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1400268482475_10162" class="yiv0589598017MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1400268482475_10161" style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Thank you, Dr. Laura. It’s not always easy to take a step back and say, "Hey maybe it’s me. Maybe I need to change.", but it is ALWAYS beautiful when you take that change head on and turn it into something you never dreamed of! </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1400268482475_10164" class="yiv0589598017MsoPlainText"><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1400268482475_10166" class="yiv0589598017MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1400268482475_10188" style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I AM MY HUSBAND'S GIRLFRIEND and proud of it!</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1400268482475_10190" class="yiv0589598017MsoPlainText"><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1400268482475_10168" class="yiv0589598017MsoPlainText"><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Jessica</span></p>
<br />
Staff
2014-05-23T17:59:00Z
I Am an Abortion Survivor
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Am-an-Abortion-Survivor/436617191076461465.html
2014-05-22T17:59:00Z
2014-05-22T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am a huge fan of your show and the work you do each day to change lives and change minds. I want to compliment you on taking the politically incorrect, anti-feminist viewpoint on abortion. Most of the media either complies with the feminists in order to prevent a nasty backlash, or just sweeps the abortion issue entirely under the rug. You are one of a few who are willing to speak out against what should be an obvious injustice. Since when did killing babies become a social norm? It breaks my heart. <br /><br />Thirty-two years ago, I suffered a near-death experience. My mom and dad learned they were pregnant--an event they were not emotionally ready for. My parents had 3 children already, as well as a painful loss of a child with Trisomy 18. As I'm sure you already know, Trisomy 18 is a horrific, disfiguring, and almost universally fatal genetic defect. The child who was supposed to be born a healthy baby boy, died within the first week of life. My parents were never the same. So, as you might imagine, a new high-risk pregnancy for two parents in their 40's, was not the most welcome surprise. I am sorry to say, my parents had a terrible lapse in judgment. They opted for an abortion. My mother had tears in her eyes as the procedure began, and her physician fortunately noticed her apprehensiveness. He decided to stop and told her he would not do it if she was uncertain. He instructed her to sleep on it one night and come back again the next day. That night, she lay awake. She changed her mind. My life was spared. <br /><br />I am now an accomplished 31-year-old woman, a wife, mother of a 14-month-old son, and am pregnant with our second child. I am an abortion survivor. My voice is that of an unborn child, three decades later-- a voice that was nearly terminated. I am a person. I am a life that is to be valued-- no one would argue the point, looking at my life today. However, what about when I was hidden from sight, under cover of a womb, at my weakest, unable to speak, unable to express my personhood? I was still a person! I was a person the day my mom decided to abort me, I was a person the day my mom decided to keep me, I was a person on the day my mom had her first ultrasound, I was a person the weeks leading up to my delivery. Whether or not my mom chose to recognize me, her daughter was there, growing and maturing inside of her. If my mother had exercised her "right to choose" that day, she would have had society's complete approval. She had the approval of the masses to order and carry out my execution, all without judgment. I would be dead, a life lost, and very few, if any would care. <br /><br />So keep fighting the good fight, Mother Laura! Keep using your voice to speak on behalf of those who cannot yet speak. Continue to influence your callers to do the right thing, which is not always the most convenient thing--to protect THE PERSON who is still in the womb, no matter what the personal cost may be. <br /><br />With lots of love and respect, <br /><br />Katie <br />
Staff
2014-05-22T17:59:00Z
He Knew I'd Be Cold
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Knew-Id-Be-Cold/448216860664335373.html
2014-05-21T17:59:00Z
2014-05-21T17:59:00Z
<br />
<p class="yiv0589598017msoplaintext">Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv0589598017msoplaintext">A few weeks ago I was driving home from visiting family. I was <strong>two hours</strong> from home when I hit a deer. I had never hit and killed an animal, so I was shook up. I called my husband and told him what happened. After reassuring him I was fine, I told him I would take care of calling the police and a tow truck. I hung up the phone wishing he was with me, but knowing I could take care of everything.</p>
<p class="yiv0589598017msoplaintext">Ninety minutes later, as I stood in the cold talking to the police officer, I saw a truck coming our way. I assumed it slowed down after seeing the police car lights. It came to a stop and I looked up in amazement, as my husband got out of the truck and with a smile handed me a coat and said, "I knew you would be cold." I was so thankful to see him.</p>
<p class="yiv0589598017msoplaintext">When you, Dr. Laura, ask, “Would he swim through shark infested waters to bring you a lemonade?” I know mine will drive almost two hours to bring me a coat -- so he would do anything to make sure I am good. Thank you, Dr. Laura, for reminding me to appreciate the good guy I get to call Hubby.</p>
<p class="yiv0589598017msoplaintext">Christy</p>
<br />
Staff
2014-05-21T17:59:00Z
Remembering a Loved One
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Remembering-a-Loved-One/-269919643416781836.html
2014-05-20T17:59:00Z
2014-05-20T17:59:00Z
<br />Hello Dr. Laura,
<p class="yiv0589598017msoplaintext">When a loved one passes away, I adopt a commendable habit they had and incorporate it into my routine as a show of respect to the legacy of that person. It could also be a frequently used phrase that person used. For example: Both my parents couldn't walk past a piece of trash without picking it up and putting it in a receptacle. I think about them and smile when I do this. And when asked how he was, my father would always say "Can't complain a bit" or "Busier than a cranberry merchant during Thanksgiving". Two phrases I now use.</p>
<p class="yiv0589598017msoplaintext">Love what you do!</p>
<p class="yiv0589598017msoplaintext">Sincerely,</p>
<p class="yiv0589598017msoplaintext">Bert</p>
<br />
Staff
2014-05-20T17:59:00Z
Because She Wasn't Murdered...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Because-She-Wasnt-Murdered.../401162740201305399.html
2014-05-19T17:59:00Z
2014-05-19T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />This evening, my husband/boyfriend gave me a break by bathing our 3-year-old. This allowed me to catch up on your podcasts, and I heard your recent comments on the female monster who posted her baby murder video (abortion) on the Internet. Hearing the horror of her comments depressed my spirit and brought me to tears as I listened to my little angel play with her Tyrannosaurus Rex and rubber ducky toys. The giggles and splashes of this sweet little gift from heaven amplified the evil of this woman's comments, and my tears fell freely as I grieved the loss of that sweet baby. <br /><br />We adopted our little girl just two months ago, after having had her in our home through foster care for nearly two years. Your comments were concluding as my little girl, wrapped in an over-sized blue towel walked around the corner. A huge smile exploded over her wet face when she saw me, and she said "Mommy! You here! I love you Mommy! You my friend!" At that moment, the depression that had settled into my soul was expelled by an overwhelming gratitude for this little angel's birth mother. She could have easily murdered this person, but she didn't. And because of that, I have her as a blessing in my life. I can't remember or imagine my life without her. I don't want a life without her. She is my little girl, just as if I had given birth to her. But I didn't. <br /><br />Keep fighting the good fight to encourage young women to choose adoption over abortion. Because one woman made this choice, my life, my little girl's life and the lives of our entire family will never be the same. And that makes it worth it. I testify that this is the truth through personal, poignant and powerful experience. <br /><br />Respectfully and gratefully, <br /><br />Jennifer<br />
Staff
2014-05-19T17:59:00Z
Commitment and Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Commitment-and-Marriage/-681864677145406935.html
2014-05-16T17:59:00Z
2014-05-16T17:59:00Z
<br />
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1399304542099_4297" class="yiv1402178943MsoPlainText">My view of relationships and marriage is this: when the couple is going out, they are merely involved; when they become engaged, they are involved more deeply; but when they publicly exchange marriage vows, that is commitment. The meaning of the marriage ceremony is the commitment. <br /><br />To drive home the meaning in a way people usually remember for the rest of their lives, when I preside over a ceremony, I explain the difference between involvement and commitment is the same as the difference between bacon and eggs. At this point, the family and friends start to pay attention. They begin to wonder, "What has bacon and eggs got to do with marriage?" I continue: "With bacon and eggs, the chicken is only involved, but the pig is committed. Let this be a pig marriage." <br /><br />Mark</p>
Staff
2014-05-16T17:59:00Z
Attachment Issues
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Attachment-Issues/-668207331287403097.html
2014-05-15T17:59:00Z
2014-05-15T17:59:00Z
<br /> Hi, Dr. Laura; <br /><br />I am amazed at how awful some parents can be. <br /><br />The other day I overheard one mother saying to another, "When our daughter was little she would throw up as we took her out of the car to go to day care. She was eventually kicked out of the day care for non-stop crying." It was almost laughable to hear the mother then follow that with, "Whew, at least at age 11, the child finally outgrew her 'attachment issue.'" <br /><br />I'm glad the only thing that's thrown up in my car is the dog. <br /><br />Debra<br />
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1399304542099_4297" class="yiv1402178943MsoPlainText"> </p>
Staff
2014-05-15T17:59:00Z
Making Men
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Men/232554076821383850.html
2014-05-14T18:05:00Z
2014-05-14T18:05:00Z
<br />
<p class="yiv9851622386msoplaintext">Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv9851622386msoplaintext">You have saved lives, marriages and families by speaking the truth in a world of immoral self-centeredness. I benefit from one of your truths daily: the reality that boys need an alpha-male dad in the home every day. When I hear callers choosing to create a life without a father, I turn my sadness of their reality into gratitude for my husband.</p>
<p class="yiv9851622386msoplaintext">We have been married 19 years and we are parents to two boys, soon to be 13 and 16 years old. Our oldest is a daily reminder of "I wanted a baby not a teenager". While he is living in a world where his testosterone trumps any and all female opinions, my husband is there to challenge, guide, direct and role model for him how to treat and respect a woman, his wife, and our sons' mom...Me. When I recently told my husband our son had apologized to me for being rude, my husband turned and got right in his face and said, "Yeah, but did you mean it?!" You see, my husband holds our boys to a very high standard of behavior and respect. This is a standard I appreciate and admire, but I know I would not be able enforce it without him. What many single-parent females fail to realize is it may only take a sperm to make a male, but it takes a <strong>father</strong> to make a <strong>man</strong>.</p>
<p class="yiv9851622386msoplaintext">Alisa</p>
<p class="yiv9851622386msoplaintext">P.S. Last night when my husband was helping our teenager with his physics project, our younger son and I were playing a board game while listening to your podcast. He turned and said to me, "Dr Laura is like having "LIFE TECH SUPPORT." INDEED!!</p>
<br />
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1399304542099_4297" class="yiv1402178943MsoPlainText"> </p>
Staff
2014-05-14T18:05:00Z
Because of Her Dad, the Wrong Guy Can't Succeed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Because-of-Her-Dad,-the-Wrong-Guy-Cant-Succeed/-853669404659248556.html
2014-05-13T17:59:00Z
2014-05-13T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My husband and I have a 20-year-old daughter and a son who is 18 years old. <br /><br />My husband is a sensitive, compassionate, caring, giving, selfless man. He regularly goes beyond the call of duty to care for others without expecting anything in return: We have seen him stop in a snowstorm to pull someone out of a drift; he goes to help my friends who have car trouble when their husbands cannot get there; he volunteers weekly at a nursing home; and I watched him feed ice to his dying grandmother and wipe her brow. He also treats me like a queen: He washes my car, he opens doors, and he goes with me on errands at times "just to be with you". He has taken the kids on "dates" to do something that they like to do. He treats our daughter and me like ladies and expects the same out of our son. <br /><br />Yesterday, our daughter came home from college. We inquired about a boy who we knew was interested in her. She replied, "He's annoying." When asked to expound, she gave several examples, but this one hit home: One day at school, her bicycle tire needed air. She didn't have a pump so she called this young man. He met her at her bike, sat his pump down next to it, and said, "We would have to be more than friends for me to do this for you." She proceeded to pump up the tire while wondering if he really thought she would date him so she could get her tire pumped up. After hearing that, the first thought that went through my head was how grateful I was that she was able to see this as a "red flag". Just as quickly it hit me, and I turned to my husband and said, "He doesn't treat her like her Daddy does!" She doesn't even have to date a guy to be able to see the lack of quality. I take no credit except that I chose my man wisely and gave her a wonderful father. She knew her dad would have been on his knees pumping up that tire and that is why she stepped back to let this guy do it. He noticed, and did not rise to the occasion. <br /><br />I later said to my husband, "We don't need to worry about her, she is going to choose a great guy and it is because of you. She's going to choose a guy who treats her like a queen, just like her Daddy." <br /><br />Sherrie <br />
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1399304542099_4297" class="yiv1402178943MsoPlainText"> </p>
Staff
2014-05-13T17:59:00Z
Days Later It Still Resonated!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Days-Later-It-Still-Resonated!/349592943578338565.html
2014-05-12T17:59:00Z
2014-05-12T17:59:00Z
<br />
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1399304542099_4297" class="yiv1402178943MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1399304542099_4322" style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Dr. Laura, </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1399304542099_4381" class="yiv1402178943MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1399304542099_4403" style="font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1399304542099_4299" class="yiv1402178943MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1399304542099_4298" style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I have been listening to you for about 4 years and have kept my SiriusXM radio just so I can continue to do so. </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1399304542099_4300" class="yiv1402178943MsoPlainText"><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1399304542099_4302" class="yiv1402178943MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1399304542099_4301" style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I want to let you know you are RIGHT ON when you say that showing your mate affection by just stroking their hair or touching their arm can be very important in a relationship. The other day, my husband was sitting at the computer and I walked over and started giving him a neck massage. He continued his work never saying a word to me about what I was doing. Days later we were walking in our yard when he said to me, "I liked what you did to me at the computer the other day. It made me feel like you still care." Dr. Laura your face popped in my head and you were smiling ear to ear. Thank you for the advice.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1399304542099_4324" class="yiv1402178943MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1399304542099_4323" style="font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1399304542099_4326" class="yiv1402178943MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1399304542099_4325" style="font-size: 10.0pt;">You are my hero, </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1399304542099_4371" class="yiv1402178943MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1399304542099_4401" style="font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1399304542099_4372" class="yiv1402178943MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1399304542099_4400" style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Jamie</span></p>
<br />
Staff
2014-05-12T17:59:00Z
I Left My Corporate Life for This
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Left-My-Corporate-Life-for-This/450963638253374513.html
2014-05-09T17:59:00Z
2014-05-09T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />If I ever needed a confirmation that I'm doing the right thing by staying home to raise my girls, I got a big one this morning. When my husband and I are tired or feeling particularly unmotivated, we will ask each other to do silly things that simply can't be accomplished by the other. For example, when I was pregnant and I didn't want to go to the bathroom for the 13th time, I would ask my husband "Will you go pee for me?" He'd always respond with a loving, "Sure, Love. I'll get right on that." When he's tired at the end of the night, he'll ask me "Will you carry me up the stairs?" I'll respond with something like, "Absolutely, Honey. Just climb on my back." This is our silly way of supporting each other with humor. <br /> <br />This morning, while getting ready to go to the office, my hard-working husband asked me, "Will you go to work for me today?" But before I could respond with something cute, my two-and-a-half year old wrapped her arms around my neck and said, "Not you, Mommy." Touched by her sweetness, I snuggled her back. My husband looked at her and asked, "You don't want Mommy to go to work today?" She promptly hugged me tighter and whined, "Nooooo." She knows that Daddy goes to work so Mommy can stay home and take care of her and her baby sister, but the idea that Mommy might go to work was simply more than she could handle. My husband and I just smiled at each other, basking in the knowledge we are doing the absolute right thing. <br /> <br />Thank you so much for giving me the courage to leave my corporate life to raise my babies, and for fighting every day for what is right. <br /> <br />With much love, <br /> <br />Kim<br />
Staff
2014-05-09T17:59:00Z
Using the Degree I Worked so Hard to Earn
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Using-the-Degree-I-Worked-so-Hard-to-Earn/-908428573414838445.html
2014-05-08T17:59:00Z
2014-05-08T17:59:00Z
<br />Twenty years ago, I was a childless, 20-something, ambitious, college-educated newlywed clawing my way up the corporate ladder in Southern California. Each day around noon, while my co-workers made plans to lunch together, I grabbed my sack lunch and slid past them as fast as my high heels would allow, down the marble steps, out to the parking lot and into my car. I'd start the engine, crank up the air, turn the dial to the Dr. Laura show and absorb myself. <br /><br />I am writing to thank you for being a voice for the dignity of motherhood. Having been raised by a stay-at-home mom, I knew the value of that gift of time and attention given to me. But my mother didn't have a college education and I did. In my 20's, this created a struggle within me. I wanted to use the degree I worked so hard to earn, yet, I wanted to be "my future kids' mom." Today, I am a mother of three happy, confident, accomplished, loving teenagers. I chose to step off the corporate ladder and use my gifts and talents in raising and homeschooling my children. My oldest will be with us for another year before starting college. Time flies. I'm so grateful I spent it with my children. I will never regret that decision. Thank you for giving me the confidence to make it! <br /><br />By the way, I just finished my first novel manuscript. I've always wanted to write a novel. So, Mom's time DOES come. It comes quickly and without regrets. At least mine did! Keep on encouraging!!<br /><br />Renee<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-05-08T17:59:00Z
Teaching Me to Want More for Myself
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teaching-Me-to-Want-More-for-Myself/31063284317146147.html
2014-05-07T17:59:00Z
2014-05-07T17:59:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My twin sister and I grew up with a mother who was sarcastic and insulting to our submissive and insecure father. In my early dating, I brought my mother's attitude into my relationships. After 30 years of marriage, my parents finally divorced. Even as a young adult, experiencing your parents divorce is painful. I began listening to you, and realized my mother was using me as her crutch. I eventually told her I was her daughter, not her friend, and I couldn't help her the way she wanted. My mother took these words to heart, joined a support group for divorced people and it changed her life. <br /><br />Listening to you also forced me to start treating kindly and choosing wisely in my relationships. I did finally choose wisely and married a real man, my best friend and future father of our son. At our wedding, we read our own vows. Mine started with, "Dr. Laura always says, a real man will swim through shark infested waters to bring you a glass of lemonade." Although most of my friends and family know I'm a huge fan of yours, I still turned to our guests and said, "Yes, Dr. Laura." My vows continued with, "You, honey, would bring me a glass and do it all again to bring me a refill when my glass was empty." <br /><br />Dr. Laura, thank you for helping me pick this amazing man. You inspired me to want more for myself and not stop until I found a real man who would love me, adore me, and literally put his life on the line for me. <br /><br />Thank you so much! <br /> <br />Kate<br />
Staff
2014-05-07T17:59:00Z
Grateful Wife and Mommy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Grateful-Wife-and-Mommy/-720911843259334139.html
2014-05-06T17:59:00Z
2014-05-06T17:59:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /> <br />I've been an avid listener for about 6 years. I recently became a premium family member and love listening to your podcast usually when the baby is sleeping. <br /> <br />I realized today I owe you a big THANK YOU. Luckily, I chose wisely. About 10 years ago before my husband and I married, I learned from you that it is very important to treat him kindly. I've always known I have a wonderful husband, but I now know how great he is. Last summer, I quit my job and in September, we welcomed our first child into our family. I am grateful everyday to stay at home with our little boy and wouldn't change it for anything, although, it's a lot more work than I ever imagined! I appreciate your daily reminder that I can be my husband's girlfriend. He works really hard to bring home the bacon and while I'm still learning to balance being a new mommy, I realize the importance of taking care of my husband, too. <br /> <br />Thank you so much for teaching me to take good care of the man who takes good care of our family. And thank you, thank you, thank you for getting me to be a stay at home mom. This is an amazing career! <br /> <br />Bernadette<br />
Staff
2014-05-06T17:59:00Z
Wisdom From 30 Years of Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Wisdom-From-30-Years-of-Marriage/717024261775840108.html
2014-05-05T17:59:00Z
2014-05-05T17:59:00Z
<br />I listen to you everyday on the way to and from picking up my daughter from school, (who by the way thinks we are twins). First and foremost I am my husband's wife, girlfriend, and best friend. I am my 4 kids' mom, and my 4 grandkids' grammy. <br /><br />I listen to the women on your show, old and young, and I often wonder, "What the hell are they thinking?". Today is my 30th wedding anniversary. I was married at 17 years old and I knew at that young age it wasn't going to be easy. Knowing what I came from, I knew pretty much everything NOT to do. Growing up, there were drugs, stupid parenting and physical, sexual, and emotional abuse, yet I continue to choose to make better choices, be a better person and not dwell in the past. <br /><br />I raised my 3 boys (ages 29-28-22) to be men, to respect their wives, support their family, work hard and play harder. My youngest is 17 and the only girl. She has endured many years of bullying in school, but will tell those idiots off in a heartbeat because I instilled in her, that her self-worth is hers alone and she will not allow anyone to take that from her. <br /><br />My two oldest sons are married, they chose wisely in their women, and I now have 2 more amazing daughters. They both are working hard to make futures with their families. My oldest son's wife is the stay-at-home mom of my four grandkids. We all live on the same 20 acres and manage not to kill each other. My second son lives out of town, but we speak almost every day because he likes to keep us a apart of their lives. My youngest son chose to serve his country and is currently in the Navy and is dating an amazing woman. They plan to marry, but not until they have finished college and his training. <br /><br />I would like to share some of my wisdom with your listeners: <br />
<ul>
<li>Love your husband and don't expect him to be perfect, I assure you, you are not. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Teach your children responsibility, loyalty, honesty, and give them a work ethic, and honor the family they will create. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Parents of grown children, if you did your job they will do theirs, so don't offer your advice. If asked for advice really think before you answer it, since it is hard to stop treating our kids like kids. </li>
</ul>
In closing I want to acknowledge my husband of 30 years for being an amazing man in my life, since all the previous men fell short. Thank you for not just being here in my life, but being with me in the life we created. I love you more now than ever. Dr. Laura, I did do the right thing!<br /><br />Veronica
Staff
2014-05-05T17:59:00Z
Precious Childhood Memory
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Precious-Childhood-Memory/-949219905224338800.html
2014-05-02T18:59:00Z
2014-05-02T18:59:00Z
<br />When my third child was born, she was sick and had to be in the NICU for a week. As typical with NICU, everyone has to scrub up and put on the blue robes to be able to go in and hold/touch the infants. One day, we brought our other 2 kids down to see their new sister. My son was 3 and my oldest daughter was 5. They both scrubbed up and followed me into the NICU. When I picked up my baby and showed her to our son, he looked up at me with his big blue eyes and white-blond hair and said "Mom, why'd God make her so cute?" It was just the most precious thing and still warms my heart today. <br /> <br />Side note: This son of ours gave us a run for our money for at least 8 years! It was remembering times like the aforementioned that helped me hang on when life got tough with him!<br /> <br />Shawn<br /><br />
Staff
2014-05-02T18:59:00Z
It's Amazing What Happens When You're His Girlfriend
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Amazing-What-Happens-When-Youre-His-Girlfriend/412637305943190812.html
2014-05-01T17:34:00Z
2014-05-01T17:34:00Z
Dr. Laura, <br /> <br />You always give advice on how to be the best wife you can be and I mentally check off each item you mention. I am a stay-at-home mom. I have dinner ready for him when he comes home. I'm happy to see him. I thank him for "Knockin' out that rent.." And I always made sure we were intimate. I THOUGHT I was my husband's girlfriend. Boy was I wrong. I now know what you really mean when you say be your husband's girlfriend. <br /> <br />Ladies, remember what you did to "get" your husband? Remember how flirtatious and sexy you were? My husband does not care that my body is shaped a bit differently after three children. He still wants me and wants me to really want him. Don't give me the excuse that you are tired. I have three children, two dogs, a cat two hamsters and two fish. I'm tired and the last thing I want at night is some hanky panky. You know what? It is not all about what we want. We want our husbands to do this and that, and be this and that, and do you know what they want from us? Sex. Not just sex but "OMG - I have to have YOU sex." <br /> <br />So Dr. Laura is right. Put on his undershirt and nothing else. Give him the attention HE needs. And can you imagine what will happen? My husband wakes up singing and doing dishes! He gets the kids ready for school, cleans the kitty litter, takes the garbage out, prepares himself for his work day AND then takes the kids to school all while I am hiding in my room until 7:30 a.m. He greets me with kisses and playful grabs and all is well. It may take you a few times to really want to do this and get excited about being frisky, but once you do... you and he will remember what it was like between you two when you first made love. You will feel wonderful, he will feel wonderful, the kiddies will feel wonderful, and the dogs will feel wonderful...<br /> <br />Shari
Staff
2014-05-01T17:34:00Z
Starting My Favorite Job
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Starting-My-Favorite-Job/-620963141304123827.html
2014-04-30T21:20:00Z
2014-04-30T21:20:00Z
<p> </p>
Hi Dr Laura, <br /><br />I've been listening to your show since I was in elementary school, all thanks to my mom who insisted on listening to your show even when my brother, sister and I would beg for music. So, although sometimes I was begrudgingly listening, I was listening. The things that have stuck with me most were your views and opinions on stay-at-home moms. I was fortunate enough to have one. <br /><br />Mom was there to go on early morning bike rides, play board games, teach me how to sew and bake, pick me up when I was sick at school or drop my lunch off when I forgot it at home. It wasn't until later in life, that I began to realize how lucky I was to have her there 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 365 days a year. Her job as our mom was all-encompassing. She didn't get a day off. She didn't get to take state mandated breaks and lunches. She didn't get to clock out at 5pm and put her feet up or take a sick day when she was feeling under the weather. She was on call all the time. And to this day, she still says that staying home with us was the best thing she has ever done. <br /><br />Twenty-six years later, here I am, married and expecting my first baby in...13 days! My husband wants to do everything in his power to make sure I can stay home and be the one to raise our baby girl. And now that I am about to take on this role of chef, driver, nurse, hairstylist, and housekeeper, I have a new appreciation for all my mom and dad sacrificed to give us what so many other kids missed out on. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous, but more than anything I am excited to start what I'm sure is going to be my most favorite job ever. <br /><br />Thank you for all that you do, Dr. Laura. Your words and wisdom have more of an impact then you will ever know. <br /><br />Vanessa <br />
Staff
2014-04-30T21:20:00Z
My Kids are Not Going to Feel Like They're Second
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Kids-are-Not-Going-to-Feel-Like-Theyre-Second/813362271423987693.html
2014-04-29T17:59:00Z
2014-04-29T17:59:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<br />I am so grateful for your words of wisdom. You have made me realize that there is, indeed, substance in, and pride to be carried with, being a stay-at-home-mother. I am married to a wonderful man and have three sons, 5, 3, and 2. <br /> <br />After the long and loud days at home with 3 boys, I often imagined myself as "that crazy lady who inexplicably drove her car into a tree one day!" - I was not able to fully comprehend the benefits of all this insanity and lack of "me" time. I was always told that to be "successful" a woman had to go to work every day and make something of yourself. This led to my assumption that stay-at-home moms were stupid, lazy, lowlifes. I grew up in a family in which my mother was a workaholic. My brother and I were sent to a babysitter every day and my mother was always late picking us up. Our babysitter finally got fed up with my mother's tardiness that she left us outside on the swing-set, while she and her family went indoors to have supper. I felt unimportant, unloved, neglected and "second" in my mother's life. I was always jealous of the other children at school who had their smiling parents waiting at the gate to pick their kids up. <br /> <br />The days in which my father was able to sneak away from work and pick us up for lunch were the greatest. There was a sense of warmth and comfort that came from knowing your parents were going to be there for you. <br /> <br />I didn't realize the lack of warmth and comfort in my life were turning a once smiley and confident young girl into an insecure, emotional wreck. As I grew into my teenage years, my parents grew apart, and decided to divorce. I developed an eating disorder. In university, I developed a passion for Women's Studies courses, which introduced me to "feminist theory", and the great feminists in literature. From this, I grasped that all men are out to get "us"; that a strong-woman will never let a man tell her what to do; to make a name for yourself in the workplace, and that staying at home all day with your children is equivalent to being behind bars. <br /> <br />Later on in life, I would flush this down the toilet with most of the other bullshit I learned at university. I now realize, with the help of your validation, women are MEANT to stay home with their children. Feminists all over the world are going to hate me when I say: "IT'S OUR DNA to be present for our children." I would never wish my boys to feel as I did growing up after being left in the hands of a babysitter for 9+ hours a day. No stranger could never match the amount of love I feel for these boys. What message would I be sending my kids if I left them with someone else all day, if I wasn't there to pick them up from school, and if I wasn't home with them to offer the best type of love - a mother's love? The message would be that they are "second" - when in fact, family should come first. I now realize "this" work is the most important work I can ever do in life. I AM MY KIDS' MOM!<br /> <br />Charron<br />
Staff
2014-04-29T17:59:00Z
How to Preserve a Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-to-Preserve-a-Husband/289108927116560834.html
2014-04-28T16:59:00Z
2014-04-28T16:59:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>I thought you would enjoy this old recipe from a Ladies Aid Cookbook, compiled by the Methodist Ladies of Kenmore, North Dakota, about 1910:</p>
<ul>
<li>Be careful in the selection; do not choose too unripe or too old.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Best results obtained if he has been reared in a healthy atmosphere.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Some insist on keeping him in a pickle, others prefer to keep him in hot water. Such treatment, however, makes the husband sour, hard and sometimes bitter.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Many housewives have found even poor varieties can be rendered tender and good by a garnish of patience, the sweetening of a smile, and the flavoring of a kiss, to taste. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Wrap him in a mantle of charity, place him over a warm steady fire of domestic devotion, and serve with peaches and cream. When thus prepared, a husband will keep for years." </li>
</ul>
<p>Kathryn</p>
Staff
2014-04-28T16:59:00Z
Parental Rules
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parental-Rules/-287407141847088286.html
2014-04-25T17:59:00Z
2014-04-25T17:59:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>I'm 42 and grew up in southern California. My parents got married, bought a house, then had us 3 girls - all in that order. They are now retired and still married after 50 years of marriage. <br /> <br />A few rules I remember from childhood: <br /> <br /><strong>1. No phone calls at dinner time. </strong>At 5:30pm every single night, all 5 of us would sit at the dinner table and eat and talk about whatever. We said please and thank you when asking food to be passed and we asked to be excused from the table when done. We were taught RESPECT for our parents and RESPECT for family time. No phone calls or technology of any kind were permitted during family time and I still look back and treasure that today. <br /> <br /><strong>2. My mom was adamant that absolutely no favoritism would ever be shown</strong> and so all 3 of us were treated equally and fairly. Bedtime was 9:00pm until we were 16 and then midnight after that, for all 3 of us girls. All 3 of us were even given the exact same amount of money to go toward our weddings, despite our differences in income, lifestyle, and when our weddings occurred. I am sooo grateful for this now, especially when I hear girlfriends talk about the pain of enduring favoritism in their family as a child. <br /> <br /><strong>3. On Saturday and Sunday mornings, NO ONE was allowed to knock on their bedroom door until 10:00am. </strong>They always locked their bedroom door and we were never to knock or disturb them unless "the house is on fire or someone is dying." We could read, play, and pretty much do whatever we wanted as long as we remained semi-quiet and didn't disturb them. I didn't realize it then, but this was probably one of the few chances they got each week to just be with each other, relax, and enjoy one another's company...if you know what I mean. I have no doubt this is one of the many reasons they are still together today. <br /> <br />Those are just a few, but those stand out to me the most. <br /> <br />Cheryl</p>
Staff
2014-04-25T17:59:00Z
I'm Not a Guy Who Quits Anymore
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Not-a-Guy-Who-Quits-Anymore/153729731610500871.html
2014-04-24T17:59:00Z
2014-04-24T17:59:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura, <br /> <br />You have helped me change my son's life, and I owe you so much. Over the last 12 months, you've given two pieces of advice that transformed my family. <br /> <br />In August 2011, we had just moved my then 9-year-old son to a new private school that was much more rigorous. We knew he had some learning challenges, but we had been addressing those with therapy and we were excited to have him in a school where he could flourish. Instead, we faced a series of events that changed everything. My son struggled mightily in the new school, so my husband and I decided to withdraw him. <br /> <br />We decided to take him to a pediatric neuro-psychologist. Instead of a couple of minor problems, we were presented with a series of six diagnoses: generalized and severe anxiety, executive dysfunction, dysgraphia, gross motor skills deficits and corresponding lack of core strength, sensory processing disorder, and social issues maybe Asperger's, maybe not. My son has a very high IQ and a good character. Together, these had compensated for his deficits at the easier school. So while we knew there were some problems, their number and severity were hidden until he was in a more challenging environment. <br /> <br />We decided to homeschool. <br /> <br />The first several months went well and I had a great support network. My parents were particularly important then my dad was diagnosed with aggressive brain cancer. Seven months later, he was gone. For the first time in my life, I was overwhelmed and riddled with anxiety, including occasional panic attacks. And my son seemed lost. His fragile self-image had been so damaged when he left school, and he thought so little of his many abilities. And like me, he was deeply saddened by the loss of my dad. Then, I heard Dr. Laura give this advice: <br /> <br />1. People with depression or anxiety should exercise rigorously - preferably outside. <br />2. If someone needs stronger self-esteem, they need to impress themselves. <br /> <br />I decided to challenge my son. What if we attempted to do something he thought was impossible? How would that change his self-image? We chose a serious physical challenge even though we were NOT physically gifted - or even in shape - people. We chose the Coast-to-Coast Walk Across England. We started training last September, walking a mile or two around the neighborhood. Now, we are regularly hiking serious hills, and covering 40-50 miles a week. On May 5, we will catch a flight to London, en route to our 200-mile hike across the country. But even if we fail (I hope we don't!), we have already won. <br /> <br />Yesterday, my boy told me something amazing: "Mom, I'm not a guy who quits anymore. If I make a plan, and I follow it, I think I could finish just about anything. I'm a lot stronger than I used to be." I agree. I'm a lot stronger, too. Dr. Laura, I'll miss you in my ear buds as I hike the Lake District, but I will carry your advice in my heart. <br /> <br />Gratefully, <br /> <br />Lesley</p>
Staff
2014-04-24T17:59:00Z
Five Push-Ups Are Hard...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Five-Push-Ups-Are-Hard.../-985136424226192541.html
2014-04-23T21:17:00Z
2014-04-23T21:17:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura, <br /> <br />I am 29 years old and have listened to you with my granny since I was about 10. I was amazed how what you said back then seemed like a foreign language, but now makes perfect sense. I want to share with you a situation in which you played a major part, and which I can share with you with great pride. <br /> <br />I work with at-risk high school students. One of my male students always came into school smelling bad from not showering or his washing clothes regularly; making it miserable for those around him. I ruminated for months over what to do, how to approach the subject, and even asked our principal to speak with him about it because it made me uncomfortable - It was just too hard for me to do something that would make me feel awkward and embarrassed. <br /> <br />Then I realized that you, Dr. Laura, would have no tolerance for a person who was too much of a weenie to handle things themselves. I thought of how many times I have felt my skin crawl when hearing your listeners excuse themselves from doing the right thing because "It's just too hard." I then told myself that five push-ups are hard. I took a deep breath literally and figuratively, asked to speak with him privately, and gave it to him straight, as male types tend to prefer. I told him he had to shower and wash his clothes before coming to school, and he simply said, "Okay, I will." That was it. It was that simple. I then told my principal I already took care of it, and he was very impressed with me. I was so proud of myself for doing what I needed to do, even though it was hard and I was scared. <br /> <br />Thank you for the part you played in that scene, and for being the voice in my head when I am tempted to make excuses for being a weenie.<br /> <br />Audrey</p>
Staff
2014-04-23T21:17:00Z
Covered in My Daughter's Vomit
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Covered-in-My-Daughters-Vomit/767925045191512652.html
2014-04-22T19:07:00Z
2014-04-22T19:07:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura –</p>
<p>I thought of you at 11pm last night as I was holding my 18-month-old daughter. We were both covered in her dinner, and it made me smile. She had already thrown up once and this would be the second round of clean-up in a one-hour period. I wasn’t stressed; I was calm and could actually find humor in what we must’ve looked like standing in the hallway. I could take the time to soothe and comfort her; she just wanted her momma to hold her.</p>
<p>Because of you I am my kid’s mom. I didn’t have to wake up early to rush her off to day care so that I could rush off to work. I get asked on a fairly regular basis if I am ready to go back to work, yet I wonder when did raising a human being become a vacation? Or I get asked when am I going to start her in pre-school so she can start "learning"? I just smile and say my husband and I are teaching her everything she needs to know right now. We are teaching her that she is our priority; and we love her, and each other, very much. I am here every day to RAISE our daughter. I get to witness every temper tantrum and stay up late to clean-up vomit, but I also get every kiss, hug, and I am here to make her "boo-boos" all better. When she calls out for "momma" I know she's calling for me, not a nanny, babysitter or day care worker, she wants ME and there is no other place I’d rather be.</p>
<p>Keep up the amazing work you do by preaching, teaching and nagging!</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Marcelle</p>
<p>P.S. Thank you so much for writing "In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms"!</p>
Staff
2014-04-22T19:07:00Z
Someone Still Gives a Damn
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Someone-Still-Gives-a-Damn/-297536001685117642.html
2014-04-21T18:29:00Z
2014-04-21T18:29:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I just wanted to let you know that a statement you made this week empowered me to visit my elderly father with renewed love and dedication. My mother died about five years ago and I have been overseeing my father's care since then. I am the only child.</p>
<p>Dad lives in a care facility and has dementia. The deterioration of his personality has presented such a challenge for me to cope with, and has amounted to being the hardest thing I've ever gone through. Anyway, as I was listening to your program this week, I heard you say to a caller that when she visits her elderly parent, it communicates to that parent "…that someone gives a damn." Thank you for that clear comment, Dr. Laura, because I needed to hear that.</p>
<p>Today when I went to visit my Dad, all I could think about were your words, and how I am one of the last people at this point who are visiting him. I felt new strength running through my limbs and heart as I sat there with him, and as I was doing whatever I could to have a conversation with him. No matter what cognitive impairment has seized Dad's brain, his eyes and soul can still sense that I care and "give a damn." And that is the point of my visits now that I realize how critical they are.</p>
<p>I continue to love listening to your show. By the way, you and I both have a 20-something adult child getting married this summer! Congratulations.</p>
<p>Lisa</p>
Staff
2014-04-21T18:29:00Z
Best Dating Advice I Ever Received
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Best-Dating-Advice-I-Ever-Received/-39013495675680810.html
2014-04-18T17:59:00Z
2014-04-18T17:59:00Z
<br />I was listening to the Dr. Laura program one day and you said something to the effect of, "I am so tired of women in America dating just anyone, instead of choosing. You have the freedom to choose. Stop settling for whoever asks you out." <br /> <br />I sat down made a list of qualities the guy had to have and things he couldn't have. <br /> <br />Had to have: <br />1. He had to have a car. <br />2. He had to have a career or be working towards one <br />3. He had to be at least 25 years old.<br />4. He had to be of moral character. <br /> <br />Could not have: <br />1. Problems with drugs or alcohol. <br />2. No issues with the law. <br />3. Doesn't play games. <br /> <br />One year later, I met my husband of 17 years and the only thing he missed the mark on was he was 23 years old. <br /> <br />Thank you Dr. Laura for the great advice. <br /> <br />Sincerely,<br /> <br />Annette<br />
Staff
2014-04-18T17:59:00Z
Marriage is Not a Perpetual Motion Machine
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Marriage-is-Not-a-Perpetual-Motion-Machine/687263944006333944.html
2014-04-17T17:59:00Z
2014-04-17T17:59:00Z
<br />A good marriage does not just happen. It took work to get it in the first place and just like a good car, it will take work to maintain it. Anything worth having is worth working for. It is amazing we understand that anything we possess must be taken care of if it is important to us, yet many will just drift along thinking their marriage is somehow some perpetual motion machine that will just keep on running on its own. <br /><br />I heard of a man who said that he took his wife out to eat every Friday. Someone asked him if that wasn't expensive. He replied, "It's cheaper than divorce." <br /><br />Those who do not work at their marriage display by their actions, or lack thereof, that it is of little value to them.<br /><br />Ronald<br /> <br /><br />
Staff
2014-04-17T17:59:00Z
Finding That Real Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finding-That-Real-Man/138305962484272655.html
2014-04-16T17:59:00Z
2014-04-16T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was compelled to write after listening to the podcast of the man who became a paraplegic and his girlfriend who let him down. <br /><br />I met my husband, John when we were 17, just one week before I was struck by a car and sustained horrible injuries. John came to visit me in the hospital without fail every other day for 3 weeks until the awful day when the doctors decided that amputating my right leg was the only option to save my life. The night of my surgery I worried he would not wish to see me anymore. My big brother assured me that if John couldn't deal with it, someday a really great guy would come into my life. <br /><br />Two days later, John arrived to visit and I said, "I didn't think you would come." He replied, "I told my mother I couldn't handle this and she said I had to come and tell you that in person." He proceeded to sit down and talk with me for an hour. When he got up to leave, I said, "Well, thank you for coming. I guess this is goodbye." John replied, "If it's okay with you, I would like to keep coming back. I thought I was only attracted to your outer beauty and looks, but I realize I really want to get to know what is inside you." I knew then that standing before me was the best friend and greatest gift I would ever receive in my life. <br /><br />John has stood by me through many ups and downs over our 30 year marriage. We cried through infertility and miscarriages, rejoiced when our son and daughter were born, and grieved when loved ones passed away. He held my hand through multiple surgeries to repair the damage of that accident 35 years ago. I live with the pain every day, but that burden is eased by the love and support I receive every day. John showed he was a real man when he was only 17 and has continued to be a real man ever since.<br /> <br />With gratitude, <br /><br />Jean<br /><br />
Staff
2014-04-16T17:59:00Z
A Special Phone Call
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Special-Phone-Call/432339658543188746.html
2014-04-15T19:40:00Z
2014-04-15T19:40:00Z
<p> </p>
Your book, "In Praise of Stay at Home Moms", helped my husband and me confirm we were right in how we wanted to raise our children. Your voice held me to my guns when I handed in my letter of resignation. <br /><br />My husband is currently on night shift, working overtime so I can be home. Tonight, after tucking in our almost 2-year-old, I called my fantastic man and said, "I love you and thank you for working so hard so I can stay home." He said, "Thank you for being my wife and our kid's mom." He then said he loved me in a voice more tender than I have heard for a while and thanked me for the late night call. <br /><br />Currently, it's very late and I need to get to sleep, but I had to email you to say thank you before another crazy wonderful day with my toddler started. Thank you, Dr. Laura for always being our cheerleader! <br /><br />I'm including a picture of our family; we are expecting our second daughter in late June! <br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Tracy<br /><br /><img style="border: 0; margin: 5px;" src="/images/blog/eod_041514.jpg" alt="" width="450" height="600" /><br />
Staff
2014-04-15T19:40:00Z
Our Marriage Wasn't Work
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-Marriage-Wasnt-Work/983374198155590614.html
2014-04-14T22:15:00Z
2014-04-14T22:15:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>I was married to my wife for 16 years, 8 months, 3 days, and 15.1 hours before she passed away from cancer and cancer treatments: Adriamycin chemo-therapy ruined her heart.</p>
The truth is our marriage was never hard work. I really can't understand how or even why a marriage should be "work." There was work involved, but that was work to make money, maintain the house, do chores, helping others, etc... THAT was work. But it was never "work" to be married or make our marriage successful. We married each other because we WANTED to, because we wanted to make each other happy and to be a part of something bigger and better than either of us alone. We wanted to unite our families into one bigger family. None of this was "work." Getting along was natural for us. There was no "work" aspect to it at all. And there was no "luck" either. We consciously and deliberately chose to be married to each other out of love and to make a commitment to each other. <br /> <br />Albert<br />
Staff
2014-04-14T22:15:00Z
Starting My Stay-at-Home Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Starting-My-Stay-at-Home-Life/-959165805215638341.html
2014-04-11T21:07:00Z
2014-04-11T21:07:00Z
<p> </p>
I just wanted to send a quick note to express my gratitude for the MAN in my life. Yesterday was a pretty big day for us. I'm a few weeks from having our first child and so it was my very last day of work! My boss got emotional about seeing me go and told me he'd miss me. I replied, "I'll miss it here too, but I think I'm gonna really love my next job." <br /><br />When my husband and I got home, he wrapped me in a tight hug, thanked me for working so hard at my job all this time, and then said, "Now I have my housewife again!" He kept it up for the rest of the evening, looking at me with a huge smile and telling me how wonderful it will be to have me home. I've been so excited about quitting my job and being able to stay home with our new baby that I guess I didn't realize how much my husband has looked forward to it as well. I know some women might not appreciate hearing their husbands say things like, "My wonderful homemaker" and "Now I don't have to share you", but I couldn't be happier. I've always known I would grow up, get married and be a stay-at-home mom and I was so fortunate to find a man whose dream complimented mine. I joke that it's the reason I got a second date with him: he'd have a hard time finding a woman with that ambition so when I said it on our first date he knew he had to hang on to me. I know I chose wisely and now I'm looking forward to putting even more effort into treating kindly because that is what my provider and protector, my knight in shining armor, deserves. <br /><br />Thanks for standing up for those of us who still want this life and continuing to convert those who don't realize they want it.<br /><br />Bekky<br /><br />
Staff
2014-04-11T21:07:00Z
31 Days of Being Nice to My Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/31-Days-of-Being-Nice-to-My-Husband/355103257215085931.html
2014-04-10T20:37:00Z
2014-04-10T20:37:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
I heard a call from a lady who no longer loved her husband. You advised her to be sweet, nice and loving to her husband for a month. I took this to heart. We have a 2-year-old baby and since she was born our relationship has tanked. I never consider divorce. I want her to have every advantage of a two parent household even if that means sacrificing my happiness. I decided to write 31 on our chalkboard in the kitchen. I am determined to be nice and loving to my husband for 31 days and see how it changes our relationship. I am only 4 days in and I have to say it's working!! I no longer have a knot in my stomach when I think about my husband coming home from work nor do I dread talking to him. 27 more days! <br /><br />Thanks Dr. Laura. <br /><br />Kassie
Staff
2014-04-10T20:37:00Z
Being 'My Kid's Mom' Is As Good As It Gets
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-My-Kids-Mom-Is-As-Good-As-It-Gets/-873197190505114269.html
2014-04-09T17:59:00Z
2014-04-09T17:59:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dearest Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv1712362527msoplaintext">I became my kid's mom in 1997. My beloved daughter was actually born in 1996. But, the constant audio logical assault and sensical nagging of Mother Laura's voice on the radio during my commute to work FINALLY penetrated my thick skull in mid-1997.</p>
<p class="yiv1712362527msoplaintext">I had put myself through college and worked very hard to obtain my dream job as a news anchor in a market near my California hometown. I served on non-profit boards and was surrounded by family and friends. Life was good. In 1993, I interviewed and later fell in love with my husband. We had a magical yet quite traditional courtship and married in 1996.</p>
<p class="yiv1712362527msoplaintext">Our daughter arrived nine months later. I took 6 weeks off work and was eager to go back. Five days a week, I drove that half-hour to work and listened to you chastising women like ME. I rolled my eyes, and most likely cursed at you many times. After several months, I could no longer stand the guilt: I knew you were right. With my income not making a dent at home and a sweet nanny bonding with MY baby, I left my job. People asked what made me leave my wonderful career. I'd reply, "Dr. Laura."</p>
<p class="yiv1712362527msoplaintext">For the next 15 years, I led a fascinating albeit challenging life. It was as normal as could be. Admittedly, I had help at times. But, I was proud to be a devoted stay-home mother who also took great pride in being my husband's girlfriend in every way.</p>
<p class="yiv1712362527msoplaintext">Unfortunately, our marriage went into a 'stall' then crashed with an abrupt ending. I'm a pragmatist, but the process of divorce is much more painful than I imagined. Bizarre twists and turns you'd only see in a bad "Lifetime Network" movie have punctuated much of the last year. It sucks. My life is pretty simple now. Today, I made my first batch of homemade granola and ravioli from scratch for my daughter. I took my Pug puppy for a walk and cleaned house. I wrote a thank-you card to one of the many people who have helped me through this. And I listened to you, as I do again daily. Through it all, the triumphs and the mistakes, the most important thing in my life reigns as true today as it did 17 years ago: I AM MY KID'S MOM. It is with great melancholy that I relish EVERY MOMENT OF THESE LAST MONTHS THAT SHE LIVES AT HOME BEFORE GOING TO COLLEGE.</p>
<p class="yiv1712362527msoplaintext">Thank you for helping me 'see the light', which led me to experience the ABSOLUTE most important things in life. Thank you for laying out the harsh reality that I made mistakes in my marriage. Thank you for showing me that dating is a selection process, a means to an end, no matter how old you are. Thanks for giving me hope that right now, I am doing the right thing.</p>
<p class="yiv1712362527msoplaintext">Dina</p>
Staff
2014-04-09T17:59:00Z
I Didn't Marry My Mother, I Married a Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Didnt-Marry-My-Mother,-I-Married-a-Man/-101283299108283086.html
2014-04-08T18:00:00Z
2014-04-08T18:00:00Z
<p> </p>
Hi Dr. Laura, <br /> <br />I have been listening to you since I was in high school and have always appreciated your perspective on how women should treat their husbands. I am 30 years old and have been married to my husband for a little over two years. <br /> <br />From the time we were dating, we decided that should we marry and have kids, I would be a stay at home mother. This past January we welcomed our daughter. Since then I have been learning to adjust my days from board meetings and business suits to breast feeding and spit-up t-shirts. It is not always easy but I love it and wouldn't change anything. <br /> <br />Despite my best efforts and Mother Laura in the back of my mind guiding me, I have been making a huge mistake over the past three months. In the quiet moments while my baby was sleeping or enjoying her swing, I would run around the house putting away laundry, cleaning the bathrooms and fixing dinner. I thought my husband would love to come home to a beautiful house and a warm meal on the table, not giving a thought to my appearance. This is how I thought I was showing him I appreciate all of his hard work allowing me to be with our little girl. The other day it occurred to me; I haven't worn make up or curled my hair in at least two weeks! <br /> <br />Friday night, while sharing a glass of wine with my husband after our little one was fast asleep I asked him; "Honey, if I have an extra ten minutes in my day and I have to choose between washing the dishes before you come home or fixing my hair and make-up, which would you prefer?" He smiled shyly and said "Make-up..." My poor husband has been looking at a beast of a wife for the past three months and was too sweet to mention anything! I was putting my own grooming last on my to-do list thinking my husband would see my love for him through shiny floors and an impeccable sock drawer. What was I thinking? I didn't marry my mother, I married a man! I'm so glad I sat down to ask him. <br /> <br />Yesterday I got up and took 40 minutes to curl my hair I have a lot of hair and fix my make-up. This morning he got up early to load the dishwasher and wash bottles for me. Coincidence?...I think not. <br /> <br />Thank you for all you do. <br /> <br />Sarah<br />
Staff
2014-04-08T18:00:00Z
Positive Mother- Daughter-in-Law Relationships
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Positive-Mother--Daughter-in-Law-Relationships/926323299268493253.html
2014-04-07T18:00:00Z
2014-04-07T18:00:00Z
<p> </p>
Hello Dr. Laura, <br /> <br />I have been listening to you for the past 15 years and enjoy your down to earth advice. <br /> <br />I have been married for 36 years to a wonderful man, we have four children. We started dating in high school - yup, high school sweethearts. My husband's mother accepted me from day one, treated me kindly, included me in everything and always made sure there was a gift under the tree at Christmas for me. As years went by, that one gift turned into the mother-lode of gifts equal to her kids! <br /> <br />I have learned so much from her. My parents were not very social and did not entertain whereas his parents thrived on entertaining. She taught me to be a great hostess! I have never heard a negative comment from her, ever. When my kids were little (two of the four have special needs) she was there for me whenever I needed her, but had a way of not overstepping her bounds. I admit, I didn't like the way she folded our clothes and that she was organizing my underwear drawer, but I never complained, ever! <br /> <br />She is quite elderly now and suffers from dementia. I drive 40 minutes each way to take her to doctor appointments, get groceries, whatever she needs. I do it gladly and with so much appreciation for all she has given me. <br /> <br />And now I have a new daughter-in-law of my own and believe me, she is welcomed in our home as if she is one of my own. I will never criticize her or be negative about her, ever! Of course, she makes that easy because my son knew how to choose wisely. <br /> <br />So I just wanted to give you a positive story about having and being a mother-in-law! And yes, there was a mother-lode of gifts for my daughter-in-law under the tree at Christmas! <br /> <br />Thanks for all you do, <br /> <br />Carrie<br />
Staff
2014-04-07T18:00:00Z
A Young Boy's View of Relationships
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Young-Boys-View-of-Relationships/260454089538014449.html
2014-04-04T18:00:00Z
2014-04-04T18:00:00Z
<p> </p>
Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />After breakfast this morning, my 6-year-old boy said, "Girls like the boys who fight for them." I looked at him quizzically then said, "And it's nice to have doors opened too." I asked him where he'd learned that girls liked the boys who fought for them. "Everywhere," he said. Then he went on, "Boys have to do ALL the work. They have to fight AND open doors..." I just smiled and said, "It's nice if they're polite too. Don't you think I do any work here at home?" He replied, "Yes! I mean before there are kids, the boy has to do all the work." <br /> <br />I let it sit for a bit and then said, "Do you know why the boy has to do work for a girl to like him?" He looked at me. "Because the girl has to make sure he's a good man who will take care of the kids if they get married and have a family. If he won't take care of her, and only thinks of himself, he won't take care of the kids and his wife." He then said, "I think of others. You tell me I do that all the time." "That's right, I do," I said. "You're very good about thinking about others, not just yourself. You'll be a great husband and daddy!" <br /> <br />This teachable moment was possible because his dad works hard so I can stay home to raise our kids! There are so many little teachable moments when you have time to just "BE" together. If we were rushing around all the time we would miss these moments and our son would grow up to be a male, not a MAN!<br /> <br />Justine<br /><br />
Staff
2014-04-04T18:00:00Z
Changing the World
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-the-World/-559671395252160593.html
2014-04-03T18:00:00Z
2014-04-03T18:00:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have been feeling for years that I need to thank you for your work. You have profoundly changed my life and my perspective on family!</p>
I am a 35-year-old stay-at-home mom to four children. As a child I was high achieving and at the top of my class in whatever I did. I was told I could be anything I wanted to be. I went to college and got my degree in electrical and computer engineering. I was one of only a few girls in my class. Taking care of my children was not even an option for me. I was going to change the world with my great career! But that's where you came in. <br /> <br />My parents listened to you on the radio. You were always there in the background discussing motherhood and family, and the fact mothers are of worth even if they don't have an income. Over time, I became convinced my babies were better off with me than in day care, and it wasn't demeaning for me to stay at home all day investing my time in child care. When the time came to deliver my first baby, it was time to have an uncomfortable discussion with my husband. He had married me with my desire to be a working mother, but he completely supported me and told me he had always hoped I would change my mind. <br /> <br />For 10 years now, I am the person who raises my children, loves and teaches them. We have had to get creative in order to make it work. My husband works long hours in his job as a paramedic, and commutes 35 miles on his bike and on the train - often in snow and ice. He never complains! He values my work as a mother. Often times are hard. Money is tight. I have family members who consider me to be "just a mom" and wonder why we are "poor" when I could be earning a comfortable living for us. But I am so happy to know my family is built on a firm foundation. We are happy and my kids are excelling in life. I may not be changing the world as a woman engineer; instead I am changing the world by investing time in the next generation. <br /> <br />Thank you for all of your teaching and nagging. You have taught me that motherhood is good! That my kids need me, and that I do not have to listen to what our society tells me to do with my family. I listened, and I know many other young women are listening. You have changed my family and we all thank you. <br /> <br />Kristal <br /><br />
Staff
2014-04-03T18:00:00Z
Our 25th Wedding Anniversary
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-25th-Wedding-Anniversary/157760489073923346.html
2014-04-02T18:00:00Z
2014-04-02T18:00:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My husband and I have been fans since he introduced me to your program in 1985. I am writing to share a story with you about how we made it to our 25th wedding anniversary.</p>
<p>We got married in 1989 at a very ripe age of 24 and 23. The beginning went well, as it usually does, but we almost did not make it to our 10th anniversary. Around that time, my husband gave me the "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". With a twinge, I started reading. I had to read it couple of times and the application process took me a while. As you know, it is hard to reform a feminist. A light bulb went on as soon as I understood Chapter 6. No one ever explained how and why sex is so important to men, and why we women hold the key!!! I proceeded to buy and read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage", "Women Power", and "Bad Childhood, Good Life".</p>
<p>When invited to a wedding the only gifts we give are the "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" to the bride and the "Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage" to the husband, even when family members make snide comments that the books were not on the bridal registry.</p>
<p>Recently, while at a salon brainstorming my anniversary hairdo, my young, newlywed and new mother hairstylist asked me: what was the best year of my marriage. Good question. I had to think about that for a minute. The best year of my marriage was the last year. I think I surprised both of us with the answer. My marriage has been getting better ever since I read the "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". I now have a husband who will do anything for me.</p>
<p>But I think the cutest story comes from last week when I asked my husband to come with me to help me pick out a dress for our anniversary party. Without batting an eye, he said, "Yes." When at the store, he sat outside the dressing room reading the newspaper; every time I came out he gave his opinion and then went back to reading. While in the dressing room I overheard a woman come up to him and say: "I wish my husband did that." They started talking and the lady asked what the secret was. He said: "Men are simple; all we require are two things. And when we have those two things we will do anything for our women, even go shopping with them." He immediately recommended your book.</p>
<p>So basically, Dr. Laura, we would not be celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary without you.</p>
<p>Sabina</p>
Staff
2014-04-02T18:00:00Z
The Heavy Price Irresponsible Behavior Brings
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Heavy-Price-Irresponsible-Behavior-Brings/508860271885792963.html
2014-04-01T19:51:00Z
2014-04-01T19:51:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>My husband and I taught our children that having sex and making babies outside marriage and family was not only morally wrong, but violated the rights of the potential child. Nonetheless, one of our children had a baby after shacking up with a guy and the result is our now 7-year-old grandson. After watching the abuse and neglect, and trying every way to legally take him away for four years, we were discouraged and sickened. Authorities and lawyers told us the abuse was not bad enough. We picked him up for a visit one day to find his sweet face bruised, swollen with a purple handprint. Long story short, we finally have custody of him for good and forever.</p>
<p>Shortly after we removed him from the "bad place" (as he calls it), he told us about the sexual abuse and beatings he endured. We have no relationship with our daughter any more, and that heartbreak lives in a hidden corner of my heart. I occupy the rest of the space with the joy of our clever, happy boy and our new family.</p>
<p>My retired husband is a stay-at-home dad and after a few months of public school, we are now homeschooling our grandson and loving every minute. I can't wait to get home each day to see "my boys". If I had anything to do over, I would have been even more vehement when talking to our daughters by using the words "unpaid whore". Our other daughter is a fine wife, stay-at-home mother, and proud to be her husband's girlfriend. Many days I listen to you talk to young women and pray they take your advice before even one more child pays the heavy price that irresponsible behavior brings.</p>
<p>Susan</p>
Staff
2014-04-01T19:51:00Z
Women Are Different When They Act Like a Girlfriend
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Women-Are-Different-When-They-Act-Like-a-Girlfriend/196334599680666464.html
2014-03-31T19:27:00Z
2014-03-31T19:27:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I left home to become a nun at 15. I returned home at 45 after 30 years of dedication. Since then, I met a wonderful guy and have been married for 16 years.</p>
<p>I have read your book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and listen to your program when I can. You are so right about not listening to feminists and do your job as a wife. You are also right about being his girlfriend because being a wife has a completely different connotation. Women are different when we act as a girlfriend. I see it in myself. One day, I decided to call my husband my boyfriend and he had a little laugh. That happened a few times. Last week, I told him he was the most important person in my life and he had that little laugh again. It warms my heart when that happens.</p>
<p>I am noticing more he is stepping up to do anything to fix something for me. This morning, the snaps on one of my blouses didn’t work and he fixed them. At a restaurant, I needed warm coffee and he took care of it for me. This may seem very little, but it really makes a difference to me. I just want to thank you for your wisdom in how we should love and treat our husbands. I am finding my husband would do anything for me.</p>
<p>By the way, I am 67 and he is 65. We have a good sex life and I am available for him anytime. Thank you for all your suggestions to make our marriage better. It really works. It really brings happiness to us.</p>
<p>Carol</p>
Staff
2014-03-31T19:27:00Z
Generation Why
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Generation-Why/321511368385490860.html
2014-03-28T19:12:00Z
2014-03-28T19:12:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>As a 39-year-old member of Generation X: The Silent Generation, here is my theory as to Generation "Why's" being soft and feeling of entitled…</p>
<p>My grandpa's generation was typically full of hard-working, morally-minded, no-nonsense types who knew how to conserve and appreciate what they had.</p>
<p>This gave way to: Baby Boomers: Mom's generation, out the of the bosom of the security of their parent's care, who tried to break free and revolutionize the stodgy, pious approach of their parents and named this self-made prison "liberation".</p>
<p>This gave way to: Generation X. We were raised mostly by ex-hippies with a wishy-washy approach to morals and responsibility. We were confused a lot as we watched our parents, who were somewhat trapped in adolescence themselves, fumble around and try to raise us in gray areas and with obscure direction. This made us bitter and angry as they set us loose in a very unsure world with little direction from them.</p>
<p>This gave way to: Generation Why. They were raised by us Generation X'rs. We tried to overcompensate for the shitty world we brought them into. We learned it was a shitty world from our parent's lack of real parenting. We mortgaged our future and the future of our children by running up massive credit debt, buying them the things they wanted in order to give them a more "happy" existence than our ex-druggie, morally-corrupt parents gave to us. Instead of making their world more "happy", we produced a bunch of people with a sense of entitlement that doesn't really exist.</p>
<p>We Generation X'rs were bitter, but by misguidedly trying to create a better experience for our children then we had, we have made people who are probably going to end up more bitter and twisted than we were/are. That's my theory. Good times.</p>
<p>Thank you,</p>
<p>Stacie</p>
Staff
2014-03-28T19:12:00Z
Waiting Until Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Waiting-Until-Marriage/494692939432832262.html
2014-03-27T22:46:00Z
2014-03-27T22:46:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>It's soooo hard being a woman who is waiting out there. When the rest of the women give it up for free, the men won't even give me a chance. I've done what you've said, I've literally asked every single family member and friend and I have and nobody knows any eligible single "Christian" men. So I am in the online dating world, although, I don't date much, due to the lack of eligible men.</p>
<p>Here is a reply I got from a "Christian" man off a Christian website, and it happens over and over.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Hi there. I do like your energy, but was stumped at the end of reading your profile. Though I cultivate a friendship with a girl before sex because I believe friendship before romance is foundational to every lasting relationship, your expectations to wait before marriage might be too unrealistic for me. Waiting til marriage would be like me suspending showing any care and affection toward you until I swore "til death do us part." You probably wouldn't marry me in the first place because you were still in the dark about my capacity to reciprocate toward you. Waiting til marriage is admirable, it's just not worth the risk anymore for most men. I think it's more important to recognize the wisdom behind the principle of waiting til marriage, rather than getting stuck on the rule: Commitment and a deep care should come first. However, that doesn't mean men should be miserable while the female is happy. I know it's fashionable to put down male needs while exalting female needs, but it's just not realistic.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Here is my reply:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>How does waiting til marriage suspend showing any care or affection towards someone? That's a very stupid statement.. Or do you think sex is the only care and affection you show towards a woman. I would totally feel used if you didn't show any other care or affection at all! Even Christian men don't want to live or do what the Bible says. And your last statements are also ridiculous, as if women don't want or need sex, and you are suffering without it. Seriously? I know, wanting a man to commit his life to me before giving him my body nowadays is not realistic anymore. Even though I'm not bad looking, (I run marathons), have a great job, I actually am happy and am looking for someone to love and give that love to. I'm sure there are plenty of women on this site who will sleep with you for free. Sadly since the women have become whores, the women who actually want a man to commit in marriage have a rough time as men can just go find one who will give it up for free without any commitment.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>I don't expect any advice, but I just wanted to say, "Some things REALLY were better in the good ol' days." I really think women are the problem. If more women would wait for marriage, men would have to change. Thank you.</p>
<p>N.</p>
Staff
2014-03-27T22:46:00Z
Keeping My Family Intact
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-My-Family-Intact/-173662852315674617.html
2014-03-26T22:10:00Z
2014-03-26T22:10:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am writing to say thank you.</p>
<p>My wife called in to the show recently. I am the incredibly stupid husband who tried to hide a huge debt from her and figure out a way to pay it off. Not only did talking to you help her realize I am not a bad person, just a very stupid one, but it also helped me immensely. I was very stressed, overwhelmed and depressed with what I was doing. I grew to dislike myself for keeping this secret, but felt trapped and alone with the knowledge of what I had done. Hearing you say I wasn't a bad person made me realize that, though completely misguided and irrational, my actions weren't meant to be evil. All I want in life is to make her happy and take the stress away. I see now taking all stress or bad news away from her is unrealistic and harmful for our relationship. We are a team and I need to allow her to be strong for me sometimes. She is the most amazing woman I have ever known and seeing that my stupidity almost caused her to leave was a complete eye opener.</p>
<p>You have helped her and us in many ways throughout the years and there is no amount of thank yous which can express how grateful I am for helping to keep my family intact. Thank you for everything!</p>
<p>Lee</p>
Staff
2014-03-26T22:10:00Z
How I Like to End an Argument
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Like-to-End-an-Argument/699016264911741775.html
2014-03-25T18:55:00Z
2014-03-25T18:55:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>My husband and I are both widows so we both feel blessed with a second chance of happiness. We have a mantra that we use (well, mostly me) when things are just not going well, whether it be something as silly as being stuck in traffic or more significant like an argument where no progress is being made. At this point I bite my lip, take a deep breath and in my best Edith Bunker voice I repeat our mantra: "Well Honey, you know what really matters? We are in love, we're together and we are maaaaaaaarrrrrrried." This makes us both smile and we basically agree to disagree and/or put up with what life has thrown us.</p>
<p>Margaret</p>
Staff
2014-03-25T18:55:00Z
Learning a Lesson
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-a-Lesson/-502934533579318705.html
2014-03-24T22:43:00Z
2014-03-24T22:43:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>The truth is I may not agree with everything you say; however I really respect you for sticking to your values whether anyone agrees with you or not.</p>
<p>What your show has taught me is to look at myself and not just focus on what I think my husband is doing "wrong." Our life together is so much better being nice when maybe we don't want to be. Choose wisely, treat kindly is a great philosophy, and true in practice.</p>
<p>Thanks for your program. We continue to have spirited debate in my head about so many things, and it's fun. Your commitment inspires me.</p>
<p>Thank you!</p>
<p>Jessica</p>
Staff
2014-03-24T22:43:00Z
Men and Women's Chief Complaints of Each Other
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Men-and-Womens-Chief-Complaints-of-Each-Other/950958607693772216.html
2014-03-21T22:55:00Z
2014-03-21T22:55:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>I am a twice-married man, 48 years old, and have been married to my girlfriend for 12 years now. I believe women's chief complaint of men is they don't listen when their women "vent". I'm guilty of this. I get frustrated when my wife complains because my first reaction is to "fix" the problem. It's in our DNA to instinctively want to fix any given situation. Yet, what my wife really wants is for me to just listen and, more importantly, care.</p>
<p>On the other hand, I think men's chief complaint of women is they "nag" a lot. A woman's mind is a very complex organ. At times they don't even understand why they do what they do.</p>
<p>In my opinion, men and women have largely different priorities of what is important and what isn't.</p>
<p>Ron</p>
Staff
2014-03-21T22:55:00Z
Ungrateful Wives
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ungrateful-Wives/-923862626316703790.html
2014-03-20T15:25:00Z
2014-03-20T15:25:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I listen to your podcast daily while I work and DAILY I hear woman who are so ungrateful for the men they have. Those women will regret the way they treated their loving husband when those men walk out the door. I always wonder why it is that ungrateful women seem to be the ones who have these amazing husbands and woman who are eager to give their love to a great guy are the ones who are single. It makes me completely excited for the day I am blessed with a husband so I can give him all the love I have in me. I will be one of those women who has a man who comes home to a kiss at the front door, a cold beer opened and dinner in the oven. I will walk by my husband just to softly touch his back. I will take my husband lunch and some chocolate covered strawberries at work JUST BECAUSE. I will wake up daily to think what I can do to make my husband happy and feel appreciated that day. These women who say they are too tired for sex don't know what they are passing up.</p>
<p>Thank you for your words of wisdom we RARELY hear nowadays.</p>
<p>Alexis</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-03-20T15:25:00Z
Mommy, Can You Play With Me?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mommy,-Can-You-Play-With-Me/530275268650059467.html
2014-03-19T19:23:00Z
2014-03-19T19:23:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>I have a 6-year-old son who brings me so much joy. This weekend I had a light bulb moment of how much joy we can bring as mommies.</p>
<p>Generally speaking, every weekend my son is either playing with the three other 6-year-olds in the neighborhood and the brood is either at our house, their houses, outside riding scooters and bikes or throwing balls around. However, this weekend, all the kids were gone and my son moped around bored. Then he said, "Mommy, can you play with me?" This would be the time were we'd normally bring out Monopoly or Sorry, but it had just finished raining and I noticed a ton of snails were emerging from the woods looking for drier land. So I thought, let's do something I used to do when I was little, and asked him, "Wanna go snail hunting?" He excitedly replied, "Yes," and we proceeded to take our bucket outside searched through the grass and plants for as many snails as we could find. Afterward, we took pictures to gross out Grandma - of course. Then, we picked a spot to release them to their new home. We counted each one, assigned them to a "family" and then named them. We had "hunted" 158 Mommy, Daddy, Teenager and Baby snails. We had a blast.</p>
<p>That night, when I put him to bed, I could see and feel how special he thought the day was. And when I tucked him in, he said, "Mommy, I love you do much." It was an amazing day, one I know I'll never forget and one I don't think he will either.</p>
<p>So moms, when your kids ask you to play with them, take the opportunity to create beautiful memories they can hang on to long after we're gone.</p>
<p>Thanks Dr. Laura for being a great role model to us moms out here.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Sandra</p>
Staff
2014-03-19T19:23:00Z
The Green Grass in My Backyard
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Green-Grass-in-My-Backyard/671078984016789077.html
2014-03-18T17:55:00Z
2014-03-18T17:55:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I wanted to thank you for guiding me on how to treat my husband over the years. So often I see women who nag their spouses, rarely compliment them, constantly complain about them, and then take them for granted. I can tell you without a doubt, my husband KNOWS each and every day how much I love and adore him. EVERY DAY, I tell him I love him, try to show him in little ways, big ways and by keeping things "hot" in the bedroom.</p>
<p>As I always tell my friends, "The grass doesn't get any greener than in my own back yard." He is a gem, thoughtful, considerate and lives by the golden rule. No, he isn't perfect, but he's PERFECT for me. He keeps me grounded, calms me, loves me and even embraces my goofy personality. I can't help but wonder if it's because I don't nag or complain, but rather support, love, and tell him how incredibly fortunate I am, that he shows me the same love and respect back? I AM in love and have been for over 30 years! Thank you for showing me HOW to treat my husband and nurture my marriage!</p>
<p>Sherri</p>
Staff
2014-03-18T17:55:00Z
Life Lessons
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Life-Lessons/-378644339096591283.html
2014-03-17T21:08:00Z
2014-03-17T21:08:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dearest Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have written before, and have listened to you whenever I could since 1990; first in the U.S., then from Germany, and now from South Africa. You have helped me make my life rich and worth living, and though we do not agree on everything, I have taken your advice many, many times. The most important lessons have been the following:</p>
<ol>
<li><strong>Be sure to put priority on the areas of your life that will make you proud throughout your whole life</strong>, i.e. children, spouse, family and friends. You will have good memories and peace of mind, and your life will be a gift that keeps giving back to you.</li>
<br /><br />
<li><strong>Only I have the power over my own life,</strong> and no one on the face of the earth will ever care more about my life's path than I do. (Except you, Dr. Laura, who keeps tirelessly reminding me, and everyone else, of this fact, day in and day out.)</li>
<br /><br />
<li><strong>Live courageously, do the right thing, and be a shining light for those around you.</strong> If you do, you will move mountains and inspire others to do so.</li>
</ol>
<p>Thank you so much.</p>
<p>Jennifer</p>
Staff
2014-03-17T21:08:00Z
My Wonderful Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Wonderful-Husband/-637466833842278080.html
2014-03-14T17:27:00Z
2014-03-14T17:27:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>I am a longtime listener, my kid's mom and my husband's girlfriend. We have been married more than 30 years.</p>
<p>This week, I had my annual physical. It began, as always, with my weight and height. I was glad to find out I hadn't gained any weight or lost any height this year, since I am post-menopausal. That night at dinner, I told my husband my results. He said, "Considering what often happens with women your age, it's as if this year you actually became taller and skinnier." </p>
<p>I picked wisely and have treated kindly, and my husband is a prince.</p>
<p>Maggie</p>
Staff
2014-03-14T17:27:00Z
Empowered to Be a Future Stay-at-Home Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Empowered-to-Be-a-Future-Stay-at-Home-Mom/-81104248436310206.html
2014-03-13T16:38:00Z
2014-03-13T16:38:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am a relatively new listener to your show and you have helped me solidify my desire to be a stay-at-home mom when I am blessed with children. I am a public school teacher with a Master's degree. I was raised by a stay-at-home mom and always thought I would do the same. But after receiving my Master's so many women criticized my dream of staying home by saying "Why would you stay home, you are so educated? Why would you give up your career?" The worst offender has been my mother-in-law. But you have helped me solve that problem already through listening to your advice to other callers.</p>
<p>Regardless of the naysayers, my husband promised when we have our first child we will go down to one income. Living in Washington DC, it is almost impossible to live on a single salary, but good news! He mentioned to his boss, a woman, that in a few years he would be the only one working outside the home. Yesterday, she gave him a raise and promised more. She told him she wants to keep him and is willing to consistently increase his salary to make that possible. What a blessing!</p>
<p>Thank you so much for standing up for stay-at-home moms!</p>
<p>With gratitude,</p>
<p>A future stay-at-home mommy, Katherine</p>
Staff
2014-03-13T16:38:00Z
A Sort of Lemonade Out of Lemons
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Sort-of-Lemonade-Out-of-Lemons/-680259941780867589.html
2014-03-12T15:29:00Z
2014-03-12T15:29:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am a gymnastics coach and have a story I thought you would appreciate. I have an athlete whose divorced parents both moved our state several years ago. At the time, the parents maintained two houses and my athlete traveled between them. This year, they made an incredible decision. The parents bought a house together and call it "Our Daughter's House". Each parent then got an apartment and they’re the ones who travel in and out of the house and their daughter no longer has to have two sets of clothes, two bedrooms, and so on. They have a no boyfriend/girlfriend policy at the house, because it is her <strong>family </strong>house.</p>
<p>Thanks for letting me share.</p>
<p>Kindly,</p>
<p>Mackenzie</p>
Staff
2014-03-12T15:29:00Z
No More 'Granny Panties'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-More-Granny-Panties/-593880553728229235.html
2014-03-11T19:56:00Z
2014-03-11T19:56:00Z
<p><br /><br />I was listening to your program when you were giving advice to people who are married. You started talking about how as women we should keep on being our husband's girlfriend. You asked about what kind of underwear we are wearing. I have been married 25 years and started wearing "granny panties" after the birth of my second child. Then came the third, I gained weight, bla bla bla -- still in granny panties! I didn't even think about it.</p>
<p>After hearing your show, I took my spending money and went out and spent $50 on nice panties. I showed them to my husband in the car and told him why I bought them. He just looked at me and his eyes softened and he said "I love you in no panties." We laughed. The upside is I feel sexy with them on and so by acting and feeling like a girlfriend, it makes me one!</p>
<p>Thanks Dr. Laura. It wasn't hard, and fun to boot! I am my husband's girlfriend!</p>
<p>Carolyn</p>
Staff
2014-03-11T19:56:00Z
Adoption - We've Been Full Circle
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Adoption---Weve-Been-Full-Circle/107850890065379848.html
2014-03-10T19:48:00Z
2014-03-10T19:48:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My wife and I listened the other day to a caller who asked how she might feel towards an adopted baby - would she love it as "her own".</p>
<p>About 30 years ago, we adopted our first two daughters at birth, about 2 years apart. We both fell in love with each child immediately and we have never felt that they are anything other than our children. They have known since before they knew what the word meant that they are very special because they are adopted. They know it means we wanted them so much that we searched the world to find them. They now know the circumstances of their birth, and that their birth mothers loved them so much they did the most unselfish thing possible, they found a loving mother and a father who could provide for them and love them.</p>
<p>When our oldest was about 11 or 12, at dinner one night she blurted out "I could have been an abortion". I think it was then she fully realized the choices her birth mother had, and we are all grateful their birth mothers opted for life.</p>
<p>When our second adopted daughter was about 1 year old, my wife unexpectedly became pregnant. Our youngest daughter was born, and we know that whether adopted or birthed, we immediately loved each of our children, and not one more than the other.</p>
<p>One of our daughters got pregnant when she was young and unmarried. She made the unselfish and difficult decision to have the baby and to give it up for adoption. She said she wanted her baby to have what she had, both a mother and a father who could love and care for him/her. Although it would have been our preference that she waited until marriage to become pregnant, we were happy she chose to not have an abortion and to give the baby life.</p>
<p>Thank you for often bringing this important issue up in your program. We hope and pray that many more women will opt for adoption rather than abortion, as it provides many benefits to all involved.</p>
<p>Tom</p>
Staff
2014-03-10T19:48:00Z
Recovering Feminist
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Recovering-Feminist/-750582981857819461.html
2014-03-07T19:01:00Z
2014-03-07T19:01:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have been listening to your radio program for about 10 months now on my commute home every day. I know exactly when I started listening because it was when I went back to work after my latest maternity leave. At first, I couldn't believe my ears and thought you were crazy!! I kept listening though, every afternoon in the car and after a while things started sinking in. My perspective has completely changed. I wish I'd come across you sooner because I would have benefited from this guidance, but as you say "we're together now".</p>
<p>I'm a recovering feminist and quit my job to take care of my 2 kids and husband full time now!! I wish for my 8-year-old's sake, I would have come to this realization earlier, but all I can do now is be better for both kids going forward.</p>
<p>Your advice has benefited my marriage, but one specific thing you said really helped and that was for me to be a willing participant when my husband wants sex, whenever he wants it. If I wait till I'm "in the mood" it might never happen particularly with 2 kids, but if I go along with things when he's in the mood, I usually get into it and then it's a win-win for both of us. That was a big revelation for me and my husband thanks you for that! I bought "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". My husband saw me reading it, and it made him feel good I cared enough to do that.</p>
<p>I've also learned that working full time was causing almost all of the problems I was having in my household: commuting, dealing with work stress, rushing to pick up the kids, rushing to make dinner, rush…rush…rush. I was so overwhelmed and too tired for everything. My husband and I were constantly at odds with each other, stuff wasn't getting done around the house and my kids were not getting the time they needed from me. After I eliminated the job, suddenly there was time for the most important thing in my life: my little family. My kids need me - period. As you say, I'm replaceable at work, but I'm not replaceable with my kids. My husband needs my time - period. If I don't have time for my husband, someone else will find the time for him. I am my kids' mom and my husband's girlfriend and I am a happier person for that!</p>
<p>Thank you,<br /><br />Karen</p>
Staff
2014-03-07T19:01:00Z
You Are Stronger Than You Think
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Are-Stronger-Than-You-Think/-580774176074452864.html
2014-03-06T23:25:00Z
2014-03-06T23:25:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>About 3 years ago, I was at my mental limit living with three kids and an alcoholic husband. I had moved out and was living with my parents. I called you to ask when you thought it would be a good idea to go home. You answered 7 years. I didn't listen. I went back and it only got worse. In August of 2012, the situation escalated and I took our three kids and left.</p>
<p>It was the best decision ever and not just because I had had enough. I had no idea how strong I was until I left. We aren't wealthy, but I am happily managing to support myself and my kids with no assistance. My kids are happy. My divorce court date is in this month.</p>
<p>I never forgot what you said even though I didn't immediately heed the advice. Change is hard and scary. Thank you for your honest and wise advice.</p>
<p>Could you please give a shout out to women in abusive relationships that we are way stronger than we think. When you've been pounded with insults and rejection, you lose sight of the beautiful person you are. My kids are learning from my strength. And I am happy!</p>
<p>Sincere thanks for all you do to encourage healthy and happy people...even when the advice is hard to hear!</p>
<p>Much love,</p>
<p>Wendy</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-03-06T23:25:00Z
Poem: My Kingdom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Poem:-My-Kingdom/221680590869712938.html
2014-03-05T15:28:00Z
2014-03-05T15:28:00Z
<p><br /><br />My step-mom just sent me a poem I wrote as a teen. I am now 44 and a stay-at-home mom with 11 children. I used to listen to you often as a teen and loved your show then as much as I do now. - Marianne</p>
<p><strong>My Kingdom</strong></p>
<p>You may close the door upon me<br />and think when you are gone, <br />"Poor thing, she's stuck at home all day" -<br />How wrong, my dear, how wrong.</p>
<p>"I am queen of my own castle", <br />I said with such a sway, <br />"for I decide what things will fill <br />the hours of my day."</p>
<p>There are diapers, true, <br />and work that must be done. <br />But children keep me company <br />and can make it sometimes fun.</p>
<p>I can take a walk with baby, <br />whenever I may please. <br />And watch the robins peck for worms <br />and taste the sweet spring breeze.</p>
<p>Or I may sit by the window - <br />a Dr. Laura book on my knee. <br />Or wonder strange enchanted dreams <br />of worlds that used to be.</p>
<p>I've clothes to mend and tears to dry. <br />Toys strewn across the floor. <br />But I have children's laughter, too. <br />Who could ask for more?</p>
<p>You came home to me, dear, tired - <br />from a world that is cold. <br />And I have angel cheeks to kiss <br />and golden hands to hold.</p>
<p>And little arms around my neck <br />and whispers in my ear. <br />Your world outside my kingdom walls, <br />can't hold such treasures, dear.</p>
Staff
2014-03-05T15:28:00Z
Love the Person Before You Make Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Love-the-Person-Before-You-Make-Love/-495669179539597614.html
2014-03-04T20:39:00Z
2014-03-04T20:39:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi, Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>If I could go back in time and give my college-aged self some advice, it would be this: do not, under any circumstance, have sex before you're wearing a wedding ring on your finger. That is, reserve, and preserve, sex for marriage.</p>
<p>What I did not know back then is sex really does create a strong bond and unity between two people. And this holds true whether or not those two people are in fact compatible in other areas of life. In other words, two people can disagree vehemently about things having to do with religion, spirituality, money, children, lifestyle, career goals, eating habits, physical maintenance, etc. and yet they can have great sex together! (Actually, is there any such thing as not-great sex?) Sex is probably the easiest thing to agree on, especially when you're twenty-something and feeling needy or just plain horny. It's all the other stuff where disagreements can abound. What I did not know back then is that the bond that sex creates is not something that you can break or erase. It's there, and stays there. Forever. Sometimes it's so strong that you end up marrying the other person, even though, in your heart of hearts, you suspect that the two of you are not really a good match. Or if you don't end up marrying the other person, but rather end up marrying someone else, then you and your spouse have to deal with the "baggage" of the previous sexual bonds, which is a task that might well last the rest of your lives.</p>
<p>Either way, the pleasure you feel temporarily from pre-marital sex could result in some very unpleasant, and very permanent, repercussions.</p>
<p>In the end, as I told my own children when they were dating, if you want to have a happy life, please remember that faithfulness to your spouse is a virtue, a good thing, to practice. And that means being faithful to him or her not just during and after, but also BEFORE you get married. I believe that this is really important if you want to have a happy and long as in lifelong relationship with someone. Find out if you really love the person before you "make love" to him or her.</p>
<p>S.</p>
Staff
2014-03-04T20:39:00Z
Mistakes of Parents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mistakes-of-Parents/851114631277256795.html
2014-03-03T20:18:00Z
2014-03-03T20:18:00Z
<p><br /><br /><br />Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>In my opinion, there are so many mistakes parents make these days. The first is moral inconsistency or lack of any moral foundation. It is important for children to understand there is a moral code.</p>
<p>Another failure on the part of parents is neglect. Both parents are usually working and children receive everything but their parents' attention. Junior does not see an example of a male image to imitate. When I say 'male', I mean those characteristics of a man who sees to his home, shows love and affection to his children, and displays love and respect for their mother. In particular, his affection to his daughters, or the lack thereof, will have a great determination on her successful relationship with a man later in life. I have often said, "If dads do not show affection to their daughters, there is someone out there who will and the result will not be pleasant." Dad's also need to spend time with their sons or they will find another group who will give them attention and this can also be devastating.</p>
<p>Finally, I am a firm believer in Mom being at home for her children. It is a stabilizing factor of the home.</p>
<p>Ronald</p>
Staff
2014-03-03T20:18:00Z
Letting Go of Your Vision for Your Child
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Letting-Go-of-Your-Vision-for-Your-Child/-100615661907450255.html
2014-02-28T18:59:00Z
2014-02-28T18:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura -</p>
<p>I love to listen to you, particularly when you work with people about "letting go" of the image of a perfect parent. It sounds harsh, but accept the fact you will never have the parent you wished you had and move on. I finally came to a similar conclusion regarding my son who has autism. After years of trying to change him, or fix him to what I needed him to be, I accepted his limitation and my life and his got so much easier. He will always be autistic and mildly retarded. That will not change. I will always need to be responsible for his safety, but more important, he is happy, healthy, and has a great off beat sense of humor. Our lives got better when I quit concentrating on my image of him, and accepted who he was on his terms. He's 36 and on his own. He has a job, friends, and loves TV wrestling. And we're both really good with that!</p>
<p>Holly </p>
Staff
2014-02-28T18:59:00Z
A Gift That 'Keeps on Giving'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Gift-That-Keeps-on-Giving/-400514390398058992.html
2014-02-27T18:59:00Z
2014-02-27T18:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I hope this email inspires younger women not to settle for just any man.</p>
<p>For almost 45 years, I have been married to a man who was an only child, but has not one "selfish bone" in his body. He has loved me and proven his love in countless practical, as well as, extravagant ways. Here's just one example: Many years ago, I worked as an RN on a very busy hospital oncology unit. We lived 45 minutes from this hospital, so I occasionally worked 16 hour shifts to decrease the number of commutes per week. A couple of hours before the end of an extremely stressful 16 hours, my husband called to remind me to "be careful" driving home. At 11:00 PM, I got on the elevator, leaned against the wall and closed my eyes, dreading the long drive home. When the elevator doors opened in the lobby, there he stood, smiling. He was there to chauffeur me home in our van. On top that, he had created the nicest bed in the back of the van with quilts and pillows. I slept like a baby all the way home. And that is just one of many examples.</p>
<p>I write today to share my Valentine's Day card from him this year. I don't always have the strongest self esteem, so this card touched me more deeply than I can express and I intend to read it once a day from this day forward:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>My Love,</p>
<p>I wonder if you see in yourself the beauty I see in you The way you smile exudes true joy and happiness The way your eyes can calm me with one tender glance, And the way every inch of you is just it should be: Captivating…Breathtaking… and Perfect. I want you to see yourself just the way I do, so you will know why you will always be the woman I love!</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Dr. Laura, you would probably be amazed to know just how imperfect I really am, but this man's love makes me believe I am perfect for him! What a gift that just keeps giving!!!</p>
<p>Bev</p>
Staff
2014-02-27T18:59:00Z
Life Too Precious to Have Someone Else Raise Them
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Life-Too-Precious-to-Have-Someone-Else-Raise-Them/-475986063274851263.html
2014-02-27T18:59:00Z
2014-02-27T18:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />I was once career oriented…now I am found!</p>
<p>I remember the very first day I plugged in my SiriusXM Radio in my office! I remembered thinking, "This lady is absolutely nuts! How can she possibly hate women so much!" Well, I continued to listen because of the shock factor! You kept me so entertained with the things you were saying to your callers. Little did I know that slowly you were changing my views of what a woman actually was!</p>
<p>Then I became pregnant. At 32 weeks, I delivered a stillborn daughter, and then it hit me -- all those things you had been drilling into my head! I GOT IT! Life was too precious to have someone else raise my child! I am now a stay-at-home mother of two healthy children.</p>
<p>To cut costs we had to cut the satellite radio and I missed you dearly! Well, happy birthday to me, my husband purchased me your podcasts online! I am listening as I type this. In three days, you have pulled me back to being my husband's girlfriend and appreciative of my time with kids. Sometimes life just gets in the way and it's easy to forget this. My husband commented at dinner last night how you make me a happier mom. You bring clarity into my life as to what a wife and mother should be! Thank you!!!!!!!</p>
<p>Sandra</p>
Staff
2014-02-27T18:59:00Z
Stop Wasting Your Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stop-Wasting-Your-Life/-376056810627388724.html
2014-02-26T18:52:00Z
2014-02-26T18:52:00Z
<p><br /><br />I heard a call from a 28-year-old woman who had been in an "on again, off again" relationship. She asked if it would ever work. I related to that caller because that was me from 18 to 28 years old. I wasted ten years of my life waiting for my boyfriend to decide about me. Finally, he broke up with me and married soon after. Thank goodness he did or I may have wasted another 10 years.</p>
<p>After that final break-up, I learned to stand on my own two feet. I bought my own house, developed my own interests and traveled all over the world. I'm happy to say that at 48 years old, I was married to the man of my dreams. He loves me. He is my boyfriend, my Prince Charming and the kindest man I know. I am very lucky after wasting so much time on the wrong man that I was able to find the right man. I've been married six years now and I thank God everyday for blessing me with such a wonderful guy.</p>
<p>By the way, my old boyfriend contacted me around the beginning of the year through my work email address. I hadn't heard or run into him in years. He wanted to meet for lunch. It was my pleasure to inform him that I am happily married and after bragging in my email about my wonderful husband he quit emailing me.</p>
<p>Thanks Dr. Laura for all the fabulous advice you have given me throughout the years. I consider it an honor when one of my friends calls me "Dr. Laura"!!!</p>
<p>Laura</p>
Staff
2014-02-26T18:52:00Z
Your Kids Won't Like You 100% of the Time
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Your-Kids-Wont-Like-You-100-of-the-Time/-585239525579823490.html
2014-02-25T19:40:00Z
2014-02-25T19:40:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>One of the biggest ways I have seen parents mess up their kids is by saying one thing and never following through on it. The kids come away with the belief the world will keep giving them chance after chance after chance and will eventually reward them for non-compliance.</p>
<p>Closely tied to this is not using the word, "No", as in, "No, you can't have today's-heart's-desire." The real world is going to tell them not just "No" but "HELL NO!" Kids need to know how to deal with NO!</p>
<p>I saved the best for last: Parents not letting their child fail. Children and adults need to fail on a somewhat regular basis. This is how we learn, grow and keep from getting too full of ourselves. The child who has never experienced real failure is not going to have a clue on how to pick themselves up, dust off, and try something new to solve the problem. Our work environment these days is one where you have to re-invent yourself many times over. Most attempts will not be successful. Those who will thrive and survive will have had the most experience overcoming failures.</p>
<p>You are a parent first and foremost. Your kids do not have to like you 100% of the time.</p>
<p>Warmest Regards,</p>
<p>Shelley</p>
Staff
2014-02-25T19:40:00Z
Newton's Third Law of Motion
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Newtons-Third-Law-of-Motion/182900076147597089.html
2014-02-24T18:59:00Z
2014-02-24T18:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>It is true, when a woman stops acting like a lady she will stop being treated like one. When I was in high school, among the boys, the girl who was the most loose in morals was the one who had the lowest compliments. I'm using as modest of words, without being vulgar, as possible.</p>
<p>I open doors for a woman or give preference to her in line. She may not be a lady, but I do it because I intend always to be a gentleman. It's amazing that women act as they do and then are offended because of the reactions they get from men. I see sloppy dressed women who don't seem to have any self-respect. I see young girls dressed like they belong in a brothel and yet they wonder why they are treated like whores.</p>
<p>There is a law, discovered by Newton, that doesn't seem to have any bearing upon the subject, but if you think about it for a moment you will get the picture. "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Many girls act beneath them thinking they will get a certain reaction and wonder why it is not what they wanted.</p>
<p>Ronald</p>
Staff
2014-02-24T18:59:00Z
What a Crazy World We Live In
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-a-Crazy-World-We-Live-In/-617607756566804848.html
2014-02-21T18:13:00Z
2014-02-21T18:13:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>As I lay in bed with my husband, we discussed the pocket fetal Doppler I purchased online so we could listen to our baby's heartbeat at home. I am 4 months along and excited that I can listen at home. I am cautious of using it too much for fear it could affect my developing baby. I looked up videos on YouTube regarding fetal Dopplers and was shocked to see a "related video" entitled which features a young woman who appears to be in her 20's, talking about the "easy", "painless" abortion she had. She smiled the entire way through the video, said she didn't regret the abortion, and if faced with another unplanned pregnancy, would have another abortion. I was disgusted.</p>
<p>What a crazy world - here I am, sitting in bed with my husband discussing our first child and my fear of using the Doppler too much. Then there is a young woman who says the abortion was the most ethical and humane choice for all parties involved. I wish more young women would have respect for life.</p>
<p>Thank you for your work Dr. Laura. You touch many lives!</p>
<p>Shannon</p>
Staff
2014-02-21T18:13:00Z
Not Letting the Turkeys Get Me Down
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Not-Letting-the-Turkeys-Get-Me-Down/-964405123929569011.html
2014-02-20T20:12:00Z
2014-02-20T20:12:00Z
<p><br /><br />I got some sad news today. My 88-year-old pop has acute leukemia. After having an immense cry and being an optimist, I came up with an action plan BEFORE calling my sister, a KNOWN pessimist. I knew she wasn't going to be encouraging, so, when she wasn't, it didn't bother me. I had given myself a pep talk before the call and didn't expect her to change. I accepted the fact she's well, a dork. And this new attitude is because you taught me to accept the stupidity in my life and think about the nicer things. And it has helped after that bad news.</p>
<p>God bless you....</p>
<p>Tammy</p>
<p>P.S. Dad should be okay after some chemo and blood transfusions and I'll have my pop home soon. Prayers!</p>
Staff
2014-02-20T20:12:00Z
Cleaning Out the Closet
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cleaning-Out-the-Closet/-966386919775377243.html
2014-02-19T19:42:00Z
2014-02-19T19:42:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have listened for years and today, never written, or called. I 'm not writing you with dilemma, but something that reminded me how being a real mom is all worth it.</p>
<p>I was cleaning out my closet, something that was a scary task, going through clothes, things I had previously put to the side in baskets and put away, etc. Well, I stumbled upon a handwritten Valentine from my oldest son, now 28, and a good man. It was written years ago, probably when he was a young teen. Colored in crayons on the front to look like it was from a little kid and read: "Happy Valentimes! Mom" because that's what he used to say when he was little. Written on the inside in his teenage vocabulary, it read: "I was thinking last night, just how hard your job must be. I don't think anyone could do what you have done, and will do, raising us. You're amazing. Never think for a second that I don't look up to you." And then in purple crayon "Happy Valentines Day, Mom" and in red crayon "I Love You", and his name.</p>
<p>How timely to find that. He is 3,000 miles across the country and has encouraged and challenged me to continue to fight the good fight for my 14-year-old son and don't give up. I head forward reminded that being there (being a real mom) matters and is "amazing"! So to you and all moms out there….."Don't think for a second they don't look up to you". I'm thankful for that reminder and I accept the challenge!</p>
<p>All my best,</p>
<p>Julie</p>
Staff
2014-02-19T19:42:00Z
In a Crisis, Real Friends Walk In the Door
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/In-a-Crisis,-Real-Friends-Walk-In-the-Door/-651866981134708933.html
2014-02-18T20:10:00Z
2014-02-18T20:10:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi, Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I had four "friends" who systematically watched me struggle with an unexplained health issue for the last four years. I went from a healthy active person to being unable to walk and resorting to using a wheelchair, despite many doctors' visits, several misdiagnoses, and many attempts of my own to get better. Their lack of concern was startling. </p>
<p>I eventually struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts. Just when I thought all hope was lost, I finally figured out my problem, but it was not going to be an easy fix. Because I needed all my strength to face the daunting task of fixing my problem, I started dumping these "friends", and relieving myself of the pressure their callous and self-absorbed behavior was causing. I can't tell you how much better I felt.</p>
<p>I left out the most important thing - I had a guardian angel of a friend who stood by me through of all this. Without her, I wouldn't be here today. Her selfless help saved me many times. She made me laugh, held my hand when I cried, and kicked me in the ass when I needed it -- which happened a lot. As I sit here today well on the road to full recovery, I have no regrets. I guess it's true what they say: when a crisis happens, real friends are walking in the door while all the others are walking out.</p>
<p>Thank you,</p>
<p>Jeannie</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-02-18T20:10:00Z
A True Prince
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-True-Prince/-49738412903048038.html
2014-02-14T18:59:00Z
2014-02-14T18:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Recently in your opening remarks you listed the ten qualities of "a true prince". My ears perked up and I decided to see how many of those qualities my husband had. I am pleased to report to you my man is 100% true prince, down to the fact he is not the most handsome man in the world, but in my eyes he is absolutely the most beautiful and hottest guy I have ever laid my eyes on. I see him through eyes that love everything about him.</p>
<p>Finding a true prince was my dream since I was a little girl, but as a young woman I never understood what a truly good man was all about. It took me many years and some unfortunate mistakes along the way on my broken road, to learn what I could have learned in 5 minutes if I had someone like you when I was a young woman. So, all the young ladies out there… please take Dr. Laura's words seriously and keep them close to your hearts. Life can be tough and rough, but it is always blessed when you marry your true prince. Take it from someone who has been on the both sides of the kingdom!</p>
<p>Anne<br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/021414_eod_photo.jpg" alt="" width="600" height="444" /></p>
Staff
2014-02-14T18:59:00Z
Strong No-Nonsense Women
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Strong-No-Nonsense-Women/-946855545017613158.html
2014-02-13T18:59:00Z
2014-02-13T18:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>You remind me of my strong, honest, kind mother who passed away five years ago. No doubt her many years as caregiver to my disabled brother helped to form her strong character and no-nonsense attitude toward anything which could be an energy-waster e.g. personal facade, foolishness, selfishness. I miss her presence and her strength, but happily, I am finding I derive strength from listening to you. I listened to you years ago while raising my now-grown children, and recently re-discovered you through your podcasts. </p>
<p>Growing up as daughter to my mother wasn't always easy. It seemed her "tough" demeanor was some divinely arranged bad match with my sensitive, sentimental nature, but this was not the case. In adulthood, I came to appreciate her heart of gold and how she had affirmed and nurtured me. In later years, we became close friends....even though, perhaps, that's not supposed to happen. We had come to respect qualities in one another which were different. I was honored to care for her as she approached death, and to help ease her final days.</p>
<p>In closing, Dr. Laura, I appreciate you are still so committed to helping others. Your "cut to the chase" honesty is refreshing to my ears. Sometimes I hear anger in your voice and have a feeling it is coming from frustration with certain callers. I also hear you treating callers with respect, irrespective of whatever background or walk of life they may be coming from. This is why I respect you and like your show.</p>
<p>On top of that you are helping me to keep my house clean! I can now straighten a messy room in mere minutes if I have your podcast coming through my earbuds.</p>
<p>Thank you for caring,</p>
<p>Lisa</p>
Staff
2014-02-13T18:59:00Z
Cleaning Out the Refrigerator
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cleaning-Out-the-Refrigerator/160958827153610824.html
2014-02-12T18:59:00Z
2014-02-12T18:59:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have been married now for one year and want to share what, to me, is a hilarious example of how men and women can approach things in such very different ways.</p>
<p>My husband and I talked about how we really needed to get our refrigerator cleaned out. In fact, I had lived alone in our house before we married. I have to admit, I had real bachelorette kitchen habits and tended to just stand over the sink eating out of a peanut butter jar. Cleaning the kitchen, let alone the refrigerator, was not on my priority list. My husband is a serious cook and baker, so getting the kitchen in shape was a mutual goal, as I really love his cooking.</p>
<p>One day, we agreed to tackle it. I dug out my rubber gloves, sponges, spray cleaner, etc. and prepared to really dig into the task of cleaning. I was envisioning pulling all the food out of the refrigerator, pulling out the trays and drawers to wash with hot soapy water and then spraying down the fridge with cleaning product. I left the kitchen to gather my cleaning supplies with a rather grim feeling about how much work this was going to be. When I came back, I saw my husband was standing in front of the refrigerator with the door open, fork in hand, eating a bowl of leftovers. I said, "What in the world are you doing?" My husband said, "I'm cleaning out the refrigerator by getting rid of some of these leftovers." At first, I felt a surge of annoyance at the sight of him standing there methodically stuffing his face with food, but then a moment later, I started to laugh and said, "Well, I guess you have a point. Maybe that is a logical place to start, Honey."</p>
<p>Whenever we have communication glitches, it seems to be along the same lines....approaching things from a completely different perspective. I still giggle inside when I see the image of my tall muscular husband stuffing his face with leftover salmon cakes and coleslaw in front of the refrigerator that day! When we have any communication issues, I try to bring this image to mind and it softens up my I-know-how-to-get-things-done-around-here attitude. I admit it…</p>
<p>I hope this makes you smile, Dr. Laura, and I want to thank you for helping me to finally get into a healthy relationship with a great man.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Ann</p>
Staff
2014-02-12T18:59:00Z
How Popular Culture Harms Girls
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Popular-Culture-Harms-Girls/-219221976210978675.html
2014-02-11T18:59:00Z
2014-02-11T18:59:00Z
<p><br />I see popular culture harming girls from before the cradle all the way to the grave. I am the father of adopted twin daughters. Adopted is relevant since today's culture almost resulted in the birth mother aborting them.</p>
<p>So, if the daughter survives the womb, they move on to fairy-tale books where the toad becomes the prince, never "the nice guy who treats her well." Then there are the Disney movies. The Beast, who imprisoned her father, changes. Aladdin is a thief who will show her a world he's never seen himself. On to the soap opera and chick-flick males who are rarely hard-working, responsible men and the men who go to work in suits are villains. Let's not ignore the fixation with vampires and werewolves who cannot get too upset or they will lose control and hurt the girl, but underneath they are kind fluffy puppies with bad teeth.</p>
<p>Popular culture teaches girls that casual sex is freedom, sex with boyfriends is love, yet sex with husbands who commit to them is oppression.</p>
<p>Jay</p>
Staff
2014-02-11T18:59:00Z
Terminated for Doing the Right Thing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Terminated-for-Doing-the-Right-Thing/-404765433944450075.html
2014-02-10T18:59:00Z
2014-02-10T18:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I was terminated for doing the right thing and I'm proud of it!</p>
<p>I was working in human resources for a not-for-profit organization and my duties and specialization was in benefits administration, plus I was licensed by the Department of Insurance. This past fall, the organization was changing insurance and we did a complete audit of open enrollment to ensure there was no loss of benefits to anyone. During the audit, the application of a critically-ill employee was reviewed and found unsigned. When she stopped by to review her file, it was clear she was frail. I eased her mind that her coverage was intact. I gave her a copy of the documents and told her to keep them safe. In January, we received notice the employee was on life support. I began to prepare the paperwork for a claim so the family could file under the Family and Medical Leave Act. Our CEO informed me the family would be stopping by, so I gave the paperwork to her to give to the family.</p>
<p>Later, as I was doing some filing, I saw a letter of retro-termination sent to the now deceased employee. I was in shock. I went to the CEO and was told to "mind my own business." Being a mandate reporter, I gathered the documents the employee was legally eligible to have and left the contents in a sealed envelope for the family. </p>
<p>After the Department of Insurance started an investigation regarding the organization's actions, I was fired. My employer knew who had reported them since I had identified myself during the investigation. To make a long story short, I won the hearing at the Employment Security Commission and the Department of Insurance ruled in favor of the employee's estate. This was important as the deceased employee's son has "Asperger's".</p>
<p>Due to the nature of my business, I informed my next employer what happened who applauded me. I was hired, with a bonus!</p>
<p>You don't have to always hear a voice to speak up, your character speaks through actions.</p>
<p>Karrie<br /> </p>
Staff
2014-02-10T18:59:00Z
Hard-Working, Harley-Riding Daddy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hard-Working,-Harley-Riding-Daddy/466321998637835485.html
2014-02-07T19:00:00Z
2014-02-07T19:00:00Z
<p><br /><br />Like clockwork, at 2:45am and 9pm, 4 days a week, the golf course near where we live is filled with the sound of thunder and a yard full of barking pit bulls, as an old barely-running Harley comes and goes down the road.</p>
<p>In the gated community near us, full of new cars, and men in suits and ties, it is the most annoying thing ever, but to my beautiful pregnant wife along with our 5 and 1-year-old little girls, it is the most soothing sound in the world, because that sound means Daddy made it safely out of the mine again.</p>
<p>I'm almost positive that every modern parenting book written will tell you I am doing everything wrong as a parent, but at 26 years old, I have spent the past 4 years as the sole income for my family so my wife can stay home to raise our children with our morals, uninfluenced by the liberal-minded public school system.</p>
<p>My children answer questions with "Yes/No, sir/ma'am" and know being disrespectful or acting out of line results in a spank. I work 100 miles from home for 16 hours a day and have sacrificed having most luxuries, but it is all worth it to know that I am my kids' Dad.</p>
<p>Caleb</p>
<p><br /> <img src="/images/blog/caleb_020714.jpg" alt="" width="600" height="491" /></p>
Staff
2014-02-07T19:00:00Z
No-Tolerance Rules to Fighting
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-Tolerance-Rules-to-Fighting/-520114465871611475.html
2014-02-06T19:00:00Z
2014-02-06T19:00:00Z
<p><br /><br />I am a high school teacher and one student in particular was an extreme "challenge." He rarely came to school, but when he did, he was rude to me and other students, foul-mouthed, disruptive, obnoxious, or he slept. One day, I was giving a lecture, writing on the board, talking to the class, etc., and another one of my students just got up out if his seat, walked calmly over to the problem child and started beating on him. The two were in a tangle on the floor when I pushed the button and four principals were in the room in seconds, prying the boys apart and hauling them both off to the office. I asked the rest of the class, "What just happened?" They told me Problem Kid had been making obscene gestures to some girls in the class and the other boy quietly told him to knock it off. Then Problem Kid started in on him, flipping him off and mouthing nasty words, so the other boy got up to put a stop to it. Of course both boys were suspended for three days. That afternoon, I called the "good" kid's father and said, "As a teacher, I can not advocate violence or encourage what your son did, but as a parent to another parent, your son gave this kid what he asked for. And in my opinion, he did the right thing. I'm sorry he's being punished for it."</p>
<p>Shortly thereafter, Problem Kid was eventually expelled from school. Good riddance.</p>
<p>I think no-tolerance rules are slowly being forced out of school systems - at least I hope so. </p>
<p>Carla</p>
Staff
2014-02-06T19:00:00Z
Hard-Headed, But Learning
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hard-Headed,-But-Learning/-261191956437648765.html
2014-02-05T22:44:00Z
2014-02-05T22:44:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Just like others on your program, I make it a point to listen to you each day, take what you tell others, and apply it to my life. Well just the other day, it really came full circle.</p>
<p>My husband travels for business most weeks and loves to bring home hotel soap. I personally have no use for the soap and have tried many different ways to tell him this, but he just continues to bring me more soap. On top of that, he is always so happy when he gives it to me.</p>
<p>That day you told a caller the importance of showing appreciation when her husband did something for her. Shortly thereafter, my husband handed me the hotel soap. Instead of going into a long talk about how I don't want the soap, I just said, "Thank you, Honey". The next time he goes out of town, I will gather up the soap and donate it to a battered women's shelter.</p>
<p>Thanks to your advice I was able to truly understand what the soap really meant.</p>
<p>Natalie</p>
Staff
2014-02-05T22:44:00Z
It's Not 'Giving Up' Your Life for Your Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Not-Giving-Up-Your-Life-for-Your-Kids/-46239995454487828.html
2014-02-04T22:41:00Z
2014-02-04T22:41:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Years ago, I was going through a divorce and thought after it was finalized I would find another bride and move on with my life. I had 3 young children and at the time didn't realize I shouldn't do that. As I was listening to your program, you told a woman she shouldn't get remarried because she had a young daughter and it was her responsibility to take care of her child until she was 18 years old. WOW!! At first I was taken aback. I thought you were crazy. How can you expect us to give up our lives just because our kids are young? How could that be possible? I was 46 years old and had 4, 6 and 9-year-old kids. That would mean that I couldn't remarry until I was 60 years old.</p>
<p>Well, I took that advice and gave my kids me free of a stepmother and step-siblings and I came to find out that you were right. I made the right decision. Most people ask me why I don't get remarried, and of course, they are always trying to fix me up. I do go out with women and have a very active social life, but I do it on my time. I don't have women sleeping over in front of my kids. I set an example for them to understand that shacking up is not an acceptable thing to do. I tell my friends because of the advice I heard on your program, I made the decision to do the right thing and raise my kids the right way. I see the issues of step-families and am glad that I made that decision.</p>
<p>You changed my life and my children's lives that night and I can't thank you enough. I am my kids Dad - first and foremost.</p>
<p>Thanks,</p>
<p>Floyd</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-02-04T22:41:00Z
Kept My Integrity and Was Happy I Got Fired
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Kept-My-Integrity-and-Was-Happy-I-Got-Fired/141241943996961172.html
2014-02-03T19:00:00Z
2014-02-03T19:00:00Z
<p><br /><br />I was working in California for a company based on the east coast. My job was to get farmers to sell us product for our processing plant. I had a contract offering that was less attractive than competing processors. Despite a good reputation and history of performance in the field, after 3 months of very poor results, I wrote a letter to the owner letting him know specifically where our contract was not competitive hence why the low volume of contracts signed. His response was "Just put down whatever price they want on the contract...the negotiations begin when the contract is signed." I was stunned. He had no intention of fulfilling the contract terms and I did not want to sign my name to a contract he would eventually renege on.</p>
<p>So I wrote him a memo asking him to clarify his position and outlined my understanding of what he had said. I showed my wife the memo and told her that if I turned it in, I would most likely get fired. She read it and said, "Well you have to turn it in because you can't compromise your integrity." I have a wonderful wife. I turned it in the next day and sure enough...he read it and immediately responded, "You're done"! The end.</p>
<p>Alan</p>
Staff
2014-02-03T19:00:00Z
How a College Kid Released Me from the Chains of Perfectionism
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-a-College-Kid-Released-Me-from-the-Chains-of-Perfectionism/669944366419016945.html
2014-01-31T21:12:00Z
2014-01-31T21:12:00Z
<p><br />My daughter dated a kid in college and he shared a conversation with me he had with his great-grandfather. This kid knew I was a perfectionist and thought I needed to hear it. He was right! This is what he said, "Life isn't about perfectionism, it is about progress." For me, progress meant more to me than being perfect. Being a perfectionist, in many ways, is like a self-made prison. It really slowed me down in my personal life and work. So I now focus on progress with a touch of excellence. Being free from the chains of perfectionism is PRICELESS!</p>
<p>Angela</p>
Staff
2014-01-31T21:12:00Z
The Power of a Good Wife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Power-of-a-Good-Wife/-986697540432581279.html
2014-01-31T19:00:00Z
2014-01-31T19:00:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>So I was listening to the radio while doing dishes (not barefoot or pregnant - thank you very much), and I heard Jason Aldean's song "When She Says Baby". Here are just some of the lyrics:</p>
<p>Some days it's tough just gettin' up<br />Throwin' on these boots and makin' that climb<br />Some days I'd rather be a no-show lay-low<br />Before I go outta my mind.</p>
<p>Some nights I come home fightin' mad<br />Feel like runnin' my fist through the wall.<br />Is it even worth it what I'm fightin' for anymore feelin'<br />Torn all the hell with it all.</p>
<p>But when she says baby,<br />Oh no matter what comes ain't goin' nowhere she runs her fingers through my hair and saves me.<br />Yeah that look in her eyes got me comin' alive and drivin' me a good kinda crazy When she says baby.<br /><br />Everything gonna be alright.<br />Just lay down by my side.<br />Let me love you through this life.<br /><br />Yeah she's the perfect shot of faith.<br />When every bit of mine is gone.<br />Somethin' I can believe in a best friend<br />A heaven sent love to lean on.</p>
<p>When you read the lyrics to that song - about what effect a good wife and woman can have on a man - how can we possibly think we are the weaker sex by any, other than the most sexist of men? Most men feel like the lyrics in this song - they just want to know their wives are impressed by them, think they are intelligent, and love them. And really, why would you marry him if you didn't feel that way? I definitely know my husband is intelligent, loyal, strong, full of integrity, and willing to do anything to keep our family safe, happy, fed, and sheltered. In that light, how could I feel anything less than gratitude and appreciation for him? Why would I treat him in a way that would give him even the slightest doubt as to how much I do appreciate him? Just sayin' ladies. Just sayin'.</p>
<p>Thanks Dr. Laura! Have a great day!</p>
<p>Brittani</p>
Staff
2014-01-31T19:00:00Z
Making a Commitment to Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-a-Commitment-to-Family/871319327291540774.html
2014-01-30T19:00:00Z
2014-01-30T19:00:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I was just listening to your podcast and a mom was saying their family could not afford for her to stay home full time with their children. I just wanted to give my testimonial that it is possible, but the husband and wife need to make that the priority. I am 27 years old and my husband is 28. We have a 21-month-old daughter, and I am five months pregnant with our second.</p>
<p>Up until a couple of months ago, I worked a few days a week- mainly to keep our insurance and the stock benefits I had with the company I worked for. I worked during the week, usually at night. My husband and mother-in-law traded off watching our daughter. It was tough, I didn't work the most, but my husband and I worked pretty much opposite schedules. We did what we needed to do, but we maintained the goal of me staying home with our daughter during the day. The money I did make was usually splurged on eating out because we were both too tired and the house too messy to want to prepare a meal at home. The money was okay - but we weren't happy.</p>
<p>Luckily my husband is an accountant and believes in budgets! Money is tight and actually we are right above what is considered the poverty line, but now on his income, we are able to live comfortably, pay our bills, and have food on our table. We actually are homeowners - our mortgage is only fifty dollars more than our rent was! We have one good car and one junker for around town. We live comfortably, but not very extravagantly. And the best things are my daughter gets a happy mommy 24/7, my husband has his "girlfriend" again, and we haven't been happier! It's a simpler life that requires sacrifices, but is so much more rewarding in so many ways.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, for inspiring our commitment to family.</p>
<p>Jessica</p>
Staff
2014-01-30T19:00:00Z
How Can I Make Her Happy Today?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Can-I-Make-Her-Happy-Today/237732901529597697.html
2014-01-29T19:00:00Z
2014-01-29T19:00:00Z
<p><br />I really have taken to heart your advice to do "something nice" for my wife every day. Sometimes it is as simple as bringing her home a cup of coffee when I come home for lunch. She knows I am thinking about her and that I care.</p>
<p>We will have been married 40 years in June of 2014 and she is still my girlfriend, our kids' Mom and our grandkids' Grandma.</p>
<p>Dan</p>
Staff
2014-01-29T19:00:00Z
Changing Direction Mid-Pregnancy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-Direction-Mid-Pregnancy/806070241757123930.html
2014-01-28T19:00:00Z
2014-01-28T19:00:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I just wanted to write you and tell you a short story about how you affected my life. In 1999, I was a police officer working the evening shift. My wife was pregnant with our first child. I was well on my way to a successful law enforcement career and she was moving up fast in the corporate world. It was a given she would return to work soon after our child was born.</p>
<p>One day about a month into our pregnancy I was channel surfing on the radio and heard your show for the first time. I have to admit, I was first attracted to the show by your blunt way of telling people things they did not want to hear. Many of your messages started sinking with me. I wish I could remember the exact day, but one day you said something that hit me like a ton of bricks. It was only days before our daughter was born, you had a caller that was struggling between career and being a stay at home mother. I’ll never forget your exact words. You said “If you have the ability to stay home with your child and choose not to for the sake of money, it equates to child abuse.” Some people might think that is a hard stance against having a career, but being a police officer, the child abuse reference really struck home.</p>
<p>I immediately called my sister who was as a stay-at-home mom and told her what you had said. She told me she absolutely agreed. That day, I went home for lunch and told my wife what you said. At that moment, we committed to our child instead of her career. We worked out a budget and found that by making simple sacrifices on luxury issues, we could afford to do the right thing. We never looked back and my wife stayed at home with our daughter and our next daughter, too. </p>
<p>Today, my girls are 12 and 14 years old and my wife is still a stay-at-home mom. We eat three meals a day together, even though I work full time. They are great kids with many accomplishments and I am certain their success is due to your advice said on that fateful afternoon so many years ago.</p>
<p>Thank you.</p>
<p>Richard</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-01-28T19:00:00Z
Swimming Though Shark-Infested Waters With Soap
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Swimming-Though-Shark-Infested-Waters-With-Soap/-756644858835207683.html
2014-01-27T19:00:00Z
2014-01-27T19:00:00Z
<p><br /><br />My husband and I have been married 11 years and I try hard to be his girlfriend. He is not the traditional romantic, but does a great job showing me he loves me. We have two children we adopted from foster care: a girl, 28 months and a boy, 18 months old. My husband works hard so I can be a stay-at-home mommy for them. </p>
<p>Recently, we were leaving for a short weekend trip to a family event. On our way out the door I said, "Remind me to get dishwasher soap on our way home; we are out." Of course with the exhaustion of the trip and caring for our two toddlers, both of us forgot. Monday morning, my husband got up quietly, dressed in the dark, and let me sleep. I woke some time after he had left and started to get up, when he walked back through the door with dishwasher soap in his hands. I couldn't believe he would fight rush hour traffic both ways just to make my day easier. I always believed he would swim through shark-infested waters to bring me a lemonade, now I know for sure. </p>
<p>Leslie</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-01-27T19:00:00Z
How to Get Your Husband's Attention
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-to-Get-Your-Husbands-Attention/638698646539556125.html
2014-01-24T19:11:00Z
2014-01-24T19:11:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Here is how I get my husband to listen to me: I take my clothes off and say "do you want to fool around?"</p>
<p>Works every time.</p>
<p>Barbara<br />Naked in Tennessee</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-01-24T19:11:00Z
Having Real Expectations
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Having-Real-Expectations/-236403110867795374.html
2014-01-23T19:11:00Z
2014-01-23T19:11:00Z
<p><br /><br />Real expectations equal real joy in a marriage. Bob Marley had this to say about love:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>"He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you."</p>
</blockquote>
<p>I don't like women fantasizing over chick flicks for the same reason why I don't like men fantasizing over porn - it's not reality!! Chick flicks feminize men and get us feeling ungrateful for our real men who are busy trying to give us the world in the best way they know how. Just because your man doesn't do the Nicholas Sparks version of romance doesn't mean he wouldn't risk his life in order to protect you.</p>
<p>I've been listening to you for as long as I can remember, my parents liked talk radio. "Mother Laura" is the term I relate to. Thanks for teaching me real expectations so I don't waste my life being an ungrateful idiot. My husband is the happiest husband I know. Many mothers don't show their daughters how to be loving wives, rather they unintentionally model resentment which leaks out through passive aggressive behavior. You fill the void confused daughters carry within. It's very special. What a bold, brave and beautiful woman you turned out to be in a world that's so scared to take a stand for what's right, only for what's popular. I owe you one.</p>
<p>Jenica</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-01-23T19:11:00Z
Day Care Is Now Being Called 'School'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Day-Care-Is-Now-Being-Called-School/-308679264395482633.html
2014-01-22T19:00:00Z
2014-01-22T19:00:00Z
<p><br /><br />I’m tired of people sending their 2 and 3-year-olds to day care and calling it “school.” Just because you give it a fancy, positive name does not change the fact you’re putting them in day care. I don’t care why you’re doing it- whether you had a new baby and need the break or whether you have convinced yourself that a 2-year-old needs to spend time “socializing” all day with their peers away from home. Stop trying to convince me you’ve made the decision because you think it benefits your kid, and even more ridiculous, trying to convince me to ship off my kid as well. There is no research on your side, unless you’re a crappy mother to begin with.</p>
<p>I’m also getting tired of this religion-like philosophy that mothers must breastfeed their babies or else…I’m not saying I don’t support breastfeeding. I do in fact understand that it’s better for the health of babies to be breastfed. But why are the same people who push for this so strongly often back at work once their baby is 6 weeks old, pumping every few hours? You are breastfeeding in order to keep your baby healthy, but how do you justify sticking them in a day care, where they are much more likely to get ill from other sick kids? It’s great you’re giving your baby a healthy physical nutritious start, but why are you not as concerned with their healthy emotional wellbeing? Can women please get it together and focus on what’s most important. Raise your own kids. There is more research showing the negative effects of the broken family unit than there are on giving your baby formula. So please, let’s get our priorities in order.</p>
<p>Thank you for letting me rant.</p>
<p>Tova</p>
Staff
2014-01-22T19:00:00Z
New Moms Group
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/New-Moms-Group/212805814641377381.html
2014-01-21T19:00:00Z
2014-01-21T19:00:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My wife and I were blessed to have a happy and healthy baby boy at the end of October; he is almost 3 months old and is our first child. My wife stopped working and is a stay-at-home mom and loves every minute of it! We got an email from our pediatrician's office introducing a "New Moms Group" that my wife could attend if she was interested. I want to include the last few lines from the email so you can see how our world works these days and what a shame it really is: </p>
<blockquote>
<p>"If you have a child under 4 months of age and want to join other new moms in a group interactive session to discuss topics including making time for yourself, sleep patterns and schedules, and transitioning to a day care and going back to work then this class is for you!"</p>
</blockquote>
<p>How about that Dr. Laura, they now are including day care and going back to work in their sales pitch as if it is what new moms are SUPPOSED to be doing! Well, I'm glad my wife and I have our heads on straight and our son will reap the benefits I'm sure, keep on fighting the good fight Dr. L!</p>
<p>Aris</p>
Staff
2014-01-21T19:00:00Z
Learning the Value of a Nickel
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-the-Value-of-a-Nickel/-645925717960784750.html
2014-01-20T22:03:00Z
2014-01-20T22:03:00Z
<p><br /><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My parents reared me from the school of hard knocks and I hated it back then, but have come to absolutely love it now. I thought making an 11-year-old buy her first 10-speed Schwinn bike with her chore and birthday money was the meanest thing my parents ever had done to me...Well that, and giving me a second-hand television for college of which I had to use aluminum foil for rabbit ears and pliers for the channel changer. (Anyone remember those days?) By the way, my middle sister who is 10 years older was given a brand new television the nerve, right?</p>
<p>Without knowing it, they taught me the value of a nickel. I turned out unspoiled, gracious and hungry to make my way through the world. My two sisters are 10 and 11 years older and get more spoiled as they get older. I have to say, my parents did the best they could with what they knew when it came to my siblings, but by the time I came around they had learned a different way to raise a child. I was very blessed growing up. I knew how to save and I started working in the real world at age 13.</p>
<p>Now, I have two college-aged young ladies and I do believe I am harder on them with special kindness than my parents were on me. This is a cruel world and kids better be prepared or they will get eaten alive. My daughters are doing the eating with special kindness in this world not the other way around. I thank God for them everyday.</p>
<p>Donna, a grateful daughter and mother</p>
Staff
2014-01-20T22:03:00Z
Prioritizing Time Over Stuff
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Prioritizing-Time-Over-Stuff/856875753235444237.html
2014-01-17T21:17:00Z
2014-01-17T21:17:00Z
<p><br /><br />"Mother" Laura,</p>
<p>About a year ago, my husband and I bought a couch from a friend who was selling theirs. As my husband is a teacher and I stay at home to homeschool our two children, we could not afford a "new" couch, and were pleased as punch to get one in such great condition at a low price. </p>
<p>For one year it has been in our home, and I frequently find myself scrubbing out crumbs and other messes. Today I was grumbling about it, as I looked at the couch. When it was in my friend's home, it was so neat and clean all the time. Now it looks oddly lumpy in spots and there are marks that simply will not come out with scrubbing. I felt jealous that "other people" were able to have nice furniture and I could not. Then I realized that my friend, who works outside of the home and sends her kids to "preschool" and day care, never had to spend much time cleaning that couch. They never spent much time ON that couch! We, on the other hand, LIVE on that couch. It has been a fort on rainy days, a snuggle haven during family movies, the dogs join us on it for wrestle matches, and it is a favorite spot for my husband and I to reconnect after the kids are in bed. Someday when the kids are grown, my husband and I will buy a nice couch, and we'll travel so much that it will probably stay that way.</p>
<p>Thanks to your teachings, I can proudly admire this couch that is bearing all the markings of wonderful, wonderful memories. I know that the quality of my possessions in no way measure up to the QUANTITY of the time I get to spend with my favorite people. Thanks for being the voice inside my head that can beat out any jealousy or self-pity with words that have true value. </p>
<p>Bethany</p>
Staff
2014-01-17T21:17:00Z
Teaching My Son About Sex
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teaching-My-Son-About-Sex/360117829859192077.html
2014-01-16T19:00:00Z
2014-01-16T19:00:00Z
<br />
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>In my opinion, there is no such thing as “safe sex”. There is only abstinence. And that's what we're teaching our 13-year-old son. I have never let him attend the sex education classes in school. I’m his mother and it’s my job to teach him what I believe is age appropriate on the subject of sex. I think that the school class is great for the children who do not have the support at home, but for my child he gets the support. I get a lot of slack from my son on this, because he is usually the only kid who doesn’t attend and ends up sitting in the library doing worksheets. I told him too bad. I also told him to tell the other kids that it’s my decision and if they don’t agree they are more than welcome to call me. No one has yet to call. </p>
<p>When it comes to STD’s I find the nastiest pictures online and those are the ones I show him. We talk about how you can get them, the consequences of having an STD and the procedures for testing. I also include pictures of the procedures, which for the man is NOT pleasant! </p>
<p>I tell him how much a child costs. At the end of each year, I total up all the school pictures, athletic fees, activities, and in general anything extra needed for school show him how much he has cost for just those particular things. It’s usually close to $1500.00. I can tell him all day that kids are expensive, but when I show him what HE cost and then ask him what he would do with the extra money it seems to bring it into perspective for him. I ALWAYS tell my son that I chose to have him, so I’m good with giving up things for myself to provide for him. </p>
<p>I’m teaching my son that believing having sex before you are married is wrong and that he will be picked on for this belief, but this is when he will learn how much strength he has as a MAN, not a boy. I’m teaching him only true men have the courage to stand up for what they believe in. I’m teaching him boys follow other boys, but men lead. I’m teaching him that from here on out he will have people say they are his friend, but will make fun and talk about him. When that happens he shouldn’t get mad, but be strong, and to understand he has just been shown who his real friends are. </p>
<p>I get a lot of "you’re not being realistic" from my acquaintances. I don’t care what they think is realistic and that’s exactly what I tell them. These are my beliefs and my realities and I’m passing them onto my son. My real friends do understand. Being a good mom isn’t easy. Being a teenager isn’t easy. In both cases doing what’s right is a lot harder than doing what everyone else is doing. </p>
<p>The other day, my son said to me, "Mom, I'm good with waiting until I get married to have sex. I don't want to have to pay for child before that -- I want a Lamborghini, instead." </p>
<p>Proud mom of a great teenager, </p>
<p>Brandee</p>
Staff
2014-01-16T19:00:00Z
Consequences Changed My Granddaughter's Behavior
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Consequences-Changed-My-Granddaughters-Behavior/-772083286679487727.html
2014-01-15T19:00:00Z
2014-01-15T19:00:00Z
<br />
<p>I am glad to have found you on satellite radio. I travel a lot and cannot wait for when you are on.</p>
<p>I cannot agree more to your comments to the caller regarding consequences for their child's bad behavior. If there are no consequences, the child has no reason to alter their behavior. </p>
<p>My wife and I gained possession of our 13-year-old granddaughter who had very poor manners and behavior. She was living with her mother and because they had moved 10 times in her young life, she had become to much for her mother to handle. I work while my wife manages our home and my wife had issues trying to change my granddaughter's behavior. I became very involved and would not let a problem go by without consequences. If issues developed that were criminal, I got the police involved. When issues developed at school, I supported their discipline and always went in to show I supported the school and would not make excuses for her. I met a wonderful social worker in the Family-In-Need-of-Services (FINS) program and developed a good relationship with her. She was able to arrange juvenile detention for my granddaughter after several issues with the law. What made my granddaughter change was having consequences, not giving just a lecture. Yes it was embarrassing. Yes, it made me uncomfortable. And yes, I would rather be a grandfather (which she reminded me of regularly), but I had to be a parent and a disciplinarian. </p>
<p>My granddaughter has turned her life around. She is now 18 and I feel very confident she will be a functioning, moral and law-abiding citizen. It was not easy, but it can be done. I use what I hear on your program regularly and want to thank you for what you do. You have played a major part in helping me, help her. </p>
<p>Thank you. </p>
<p>Peter</p>
Staff
2014-01-15T19:00:00Z
Keeping My Marriage Happy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-My-Marriage-Happy/-91218042380079374.html
2014-01-14T19:00:00Z
2014-01-14T19:00:00Z
<br />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura, </p>
<p>I called you about 10 years ago and mentioned my husband had a medical issue which my 10-year-old had inherited. Hence my husband did not want to go for another child although I wanted my daughter to have a sibling. Your wise words to me were, "No, you cannot." I have always valued your opinion and actually put your advice next to the Quran our Holy book. We did not go for another child. </p>
<p>Two years ago, my healthy-like-a-horse, gentle and polite husband with a heart and soul made of love, was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. We could not understand why; he was an athlete, ate an organic diet, visited doctors every year for regular medical checkups, yet that was the diagnosis from the Mayo doctors. It broke me completely but I told him, we would fight it, no matter what. </p>
<p>My husband passed after 2 months of being diagnosed. After 20 years of marriage, I may have lost him physically, but he is still in my soul. He is in my every breath and that may stay that way until I die and meet him eternally, but finally after 2 years of his passing, I have slowly started to be aware of my surroundings. And of course, our wonderful daughter has always had my attention.</p>
<p>Your advice kept my married life full of love, affection and courage. God bless you and God bless America - the best country on earth!! </p>
<p>Love, </p>
<p>Shazia</p>
Staff
2014-01-14T19:00:00Z
How a Woman's Beauty and Value Are Defined
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-a-Womans-Beauty-and-Value-Are-Defined/142538447598091109.html
2014-01-13T18:57:00Z
2014-01-13T18:57:00Z
<br />
<p>I was thinking, the most BEAUTIFUL women are the ones who are selfless. I love it when I look at a woman’s page on social media and it’s nice and sweet: no club pictures, no pictures of her in the mirror, no vulgar, drama-filled updates… just her. I realize that most women draw their cues from other women. They look at big butts, huge breasts, hairstyles, and lifestyles of other women and try to imitate it thinking that’s what men want. Well, its NOT. Yes, we give those women attention, yes those women get flown places, yes they get taken shopping, but at the end of the day to us they are simply something to do (meaning sex). The treatment they get is part of a contract: spend a little money, a little time and her legs will always be open for you. Dudes do just enough to keep them interested. </p>
<p>What men, GOOD MEN, REALLY want is a GOOD woman! PERIOD. Give a man your undivided attention, time and affection and he will give you love and respect. If you cater to him, nurture him, mend his wounds and encourage his dreams, he will lay down his life for you! A man, a REAL MAN, takes pride in being a man! He will sacrifice EVERYTHING if it will put one smile on his woman’s face. No mountain will be too high to climb and no ocean too deep to swim. A man will go to the ends of the Earth to provide for the RIGHT woman.</p>
<p>Ladies, take pride in being a WOMAN. Take pride in the fact that you are the backbone of mankind. The power, majesty and beauty of civilization comes from your womb! We men recognize that. We long for the woman who understands that as well. Allow us to take the lead. Not to control you, but to protect you. Let us clear the path so your walk will be made easy. Submit to us. Not for us to stand over you, but so we can extend our hand to lift you up, over our heads. Ladies, in our eyes a REAL man’s eyes, there is NOTHING more precious than a woman. NOTHING. </p>
<p>One thing that I have realized about relationships is that people are continuously responding to the actions of others. What that means is, the best way to be happy, the best way to have a healthy, meaningful relationship is to give what you expect to get. If you want to be cherished, respected and valued, give us those things! The treatment that a man gives to his woman starts and ends with her. Consider us, our feelings, our expectations, and the fact that we want to be treated EXACTLY how you want to be treated and watch as the world opens up to you. Ladies, we love you, we need you, and we want you to understand that the way you treat us and YOURSELF dictates the way that we treat you. Lastly, understand that your beauty and value ARE NOT defined by how you look or what you own. Your beauty and value is defined by your heart and its ability to give and RECEIVE love. </p>
<p>I’m done being sappy. </p>
<p>Terry</p>
Staff
2014-01-13T18:57:00Z
Making the Other Happy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-the-Other-Happy/-573771286763165373.html
2014-01-10T19:30:00Z
2014-01-10T19:30:00Z
<br />
<p>Dr. Laura, </p>
<p>One of the best things about my new truck was the satellite radio--which connected me to your show every day during my commute home. I even called once when my best friend was leaving her husband. You have given me so much to think about over the years, but the best is how I treat my husband. We have been married nearly 30 years, and I can honestly say these past 6 have been the best for our marriage. We have 2 sons (ages 20 and 11) and feel like we are modeling a truly loving relationship. Each day I wonder what I can do to make him happy-- and in return, he does the same! I think about all that time I lost over the years of me nagging -- Wow! My mom was right, and you have confirmed it: you can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar. </p>
<p>Thanks for all you do! </p>
<p>Audrey</p>
Staff
2014-01-10T19:30:00Z
Creating a Strong Parental Relationship
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Creating-a-Strong-Parental-Relationship/-20512293992449191.html
2014-01-09T19:00:00Z
2014-01-09T19:00:00Z
<br />
<p>I listen to your show daily on my way around town running errands prior to picking up my "kidlet" from school. She is 5 and I am very fortunate to be "at home" with her. I just want to thank you for reminding me every single day why I am my kid's mom. Specifically, your commentary about 40% of all 9th graders having sex scared the daylights out of me! Kids having sex and STDs really struck a cord. I took your words to heart. So last night, when I was about to lose it, I remembered your wise advice that kids who have a "warm and caring" mother rather than a "naggy and bitchy" mother will create a strong parental relationship with their children which is key to them listening to the parent's values. So I turned a crazy, naggy Mom moment into one with a big fat hug. Yes, we were almost late to a recital...but we laughed and nervously drove just barely above the speed limit the whole way there.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura.</p>
<p>Nicole</p>
Staff
2014-01-09T19:00:00Z
Marriage Is Not for Weaklings
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Marriage-Is-Not-for-Weaklings/619880523978848781.html
2014-01-08T19:00:00Z
2014-01-08T19:00:00Z
<br />
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I've listened to your show for many years and have often heard women complain about their rude husbands or something their husbands aren't doing for them. What I don't hear much about is what they're doing for their husbands to keep them happy.</p>
<p>My husband and I have been married for almost 38 years and are still in love with each other - and believe it or not, still enjoy just spending time alone together. We have been through many ups and downs throughout our marriage, but have managed to stand by each other and still like and love each other. Almost every time we make love he says, "Thank you!" I'm the one who is truly thankful for having this wonderful man in my life - who puts up with me, particularly when I'm not very lovable. </p>
<p>We have two grown children and two beautiful granddaughters that I am so proud of. I am truly blessed! </p>
<p>Thanks for all you do, </p>
<p>Debra</p>
Staff
2014-01-08T19:00:00Z
What Is Love?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Is-Love/680965995670502623.html
2014-01-07T19:32:00Z
2014-01-07T19:32:00Z
<br />My husband and I have had the type of year with some of the highest highs and lowest lows. These were all outside factors and I was pleased to see our relationship only grow from recent experiences. <br /><br />I just sat down to compose a card to him and to leave him a little baggy of goodies in his truck so he would be surprised tomorrow morning. I started with a question:<br /><br />"What is love? What does it feel like? A friend once asked me this and it took me a moment to think of OUR love and then it struck me. Our love is like a favorite song. When it comes on the radio, you begin singing along, joining in, knowing all of the words as you're comfortable with them -- then the chorus hits, loud and exciting; while your whole body feels the joy. Your happiness radiates through you and fills the space you're in. You smile. You laugh. The song ends and you feel fulfilled, energized, light in a way. You would give anything to have the song start right back over so you can feel it all again. My love for you is like a song and I could listen all day long." <br /><br />Dr. Laura, thank you for nagging me to be my husband's girlfriend and leave little treats like notes and homemade snacks in his car. He does the same thing for me and we are so happy because of it. Keep up the good work!<br /><br />Shannon<br />
Staff
2014-01-07T19:32:00Z
My Kids Will Always Need Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Kids-Will-Always-Need-Me/-855550493855606783.html
2014-01-06T19:30:00Z
2014-01-06T19:30:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have to tell you thank you for your book, "In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms". I have a beautiful 5 year-old daughter, a 20 month-old son, and we are blessed to be expecting another girl in two months! I have only been a stay-at-home mom since our son was born, but I have to confess I thought it would only last a short time. <br /><br />When my daughter was 10 months old, I went back to work part time. She struggled and even refused to eat for the 5 hours she was at daycare. My husband and I were worried, but everyone around us told us to toughen up and she'll get through it. A year later I was laid off from my job and had a "reason" to be home with her. It was wonderful. Again, though, I felt pressured to go back to work by family and friends. We also didn't think we could survive on one paycheck since I made more money than my husband did. We struggled to pay for decent day care because I could never make myself work full time. When we found out I was pregnant with our son my husband finally agreed I should be home taking care of our kids. <br /><br />When that day came I was so happy and then so depressed. It has taken me almost two years to realize I measured my own self-worth by the money I made and the position I held in the medical field. It has only been very recently that I have begun to understand I am worth so much more. Your book and encouragement in my church are giving me a new understanding of how much my husband and children need me. So thank you. I have turned an important corner and changed my focus from "when I go back to work" to "my kids will always need me". I see myself finally as a valuable part of our family and I am getting stronger!<br /><br />Melissa<br />
Staff
2014-01-06T19:30:00Z
At 75
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/At-75/428675084812792610.html
2014-01-03T19:30:00Z
2014-01-03T19:30:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />When my wife turned 40, I told her I had no intention of trading her in for two 20-year-olds. When she turned 75, I wrote her this: <br /><br /><strong>75 </strong><br /><br />When you look into a mirror, and have doubts about what you see, <br />Just remember that you have always been the only one for me. <br /><br />I am not a sappy poet obsessed with romantic, rhythmic quirks, <br />But, like George Washington, I prefer to be judged not by words but by works. <br /><br />Years ago when we were wed, I plighted to thee my troth, <br />And since then I deign to say that I have manifested no sloth, <br /><br />On this earth there obviously exists a beautiful woman…or two, <br />But with all the distractions of this world, I have had eyes for only you. <br /><br />With all of life’s sights, smells, sounds and all of God’s creations, <br />None can match the wonder of husband and wife relations. <br /><br />The effects of gravity and friction on the body may take their toll, <br />But absolutely nothing can touch the beauty of your soul. <br /><br />Though you may at times feel weak, and your bones begin to creak, <br />You may begin to wonder about some rejuvenation that you seek, <br /><br />When you look into the mirror, and say, “Oh God, I’m 75!”, <br />Just remember that to me you’ll always be the most beautiful woman alive. <br /><br />Whether we amble along a sidewalk or stroll on a beach’s sand, <br />You only need to reach out, and you’ll always find my hand. <br /><br />If ever you are troubled, doubtful or worrisome of mind, <br />Just remember that I promised I would never leave you behind. <br /><br />Even though we've become septuagenarians, <br />That doesn't mean we've also turned into contrarians. <br /><br />There are so many things still left to see and do, <br />And I look forward to seeing and doing them all with you.<br /><br />Chuck<br />
Staff
2014-01-03T19:30:00Z
Faking It With In-Laws
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Faking-It-With-In-Laws/675049970631914847.html
2014-01-02T19:30:00Z
2014-01-02T19:30:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I spent years disliking my husband's grandmother. She was more of a mother to him than his own, so she was the woman I shared him with the most. I loved her because he did, or at least I was supposed to because he did, but I certainly didn't like her. I found her meddlesome, hateful and hard headed. I bucked her at every turn. Even though my husband always "took my side" when I was annoyed, it was never enough for me. It got to a point where even the way she chewed would tick me off. <br /><br />She got offended when I wouldn't take home the leftover french fries she offered or when I would turn to my parents for help over her. She would offer advice I found so ludicrous that I would purposely do the opposite. One day, for the sake of my husband, I decided I was going to fake it. I would pretend to like her. I would smile, laugh, be agreeable and be the most pleasant "ME" I could be. When she offered leftovers, I took them. I typically threw them away on the way home, but it made her feel great. I started asking her for help. Maybe it was to babysit for an hour, maybe it was to ask for a recipe I didn't even really need.... Guess what? We became friends and I fell in love with her. For YEARS I could barely tolerate her and in a few short months, I went from disdain to calling her my grandmother. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to be around her. I loved her! <br /><br />We lost her just over a year ago. I still mourn her. I regret not "faking it" sooner, but I am SO glad I didn't wait any longer than I did. Thank you for telling us to smile. Thank you for telling us to do what we would want our in-laws to do to us. Without that advice, I may have never gotten to know one of my very best friends. <br /><br />Danielle
Staff
2014-01-02T19:30:00Z
We Were Not a Match
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Were-Not-a-Match/-903273518081178094.html
2013-12-20T19:30:00Z
2013-12-20T19:30:00Z
<br />
<p>Hi, Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have been a listener for the last five years and have learned a lot. I am 25 years old and recently ended a relationship with my girlfriend of 18 months. And you are 100% correct when you say it takes about a year and a half to see if the person is a match. My girlfriend liked to stay home, watch movies and was really a couch potato. She worked part-time, went to school part-time, but usually failed all of her classes because she said it was too challenging. I have a masters degree, work full-time, and enjoy hiking, kayaking, going for walks on the beach, going to the movies, spending time with friends/family, and traveling. Anytime I suggested we try one of these activities she would pout and complain the whole time. I saw this while we were dating I thought I could change her. LOL! I understand now why you say dating is not to prepare for a wedding, it is to discern if this is a match. I realize now how important it is to find someone who is a good match for me.</p>
<p>When I told her that I didn't think we were match she said I was being selfish and immature. When she said this I thought, "Thank God I am ending this now and that we will not be getting married." Thank you Dr Laura for always reminding me to make wise decisions and I believe I made a very wise one when I ended this relationship. I am going to continue to work hard so that when I do find the right woman I can be her man. I will work hard so she can stay home to raise our kids and make our house a home. I will also do what you always say men are supposed to do: "PROTECT and PROVIDE"! By the way, I always listen to your podcasts while I hike and between listening to you and being out in nature, I have the perfect form of therapy!</p>
<p>Thanks again, Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>David</p>
<br />
Staff
2013-12-20T19:30:00Z
A Child's Perspective on Adoption
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Childs-Perspective-on-Adoption/610304787912566932.html
2013-12-19T19:30:00Z
2013-12-19T19:30:00Z
<br />Just had to share this with you, Dr. Laura:<br />
<blockquote>Teacher Debbie Moon's first graders were discussing a picture of a family. One little boy in the picture had a different hair color than the other members. One of her students suggested he was adopted. A little girl said, "I know all about adoption, I was adopted." "What does it mean to be adopted?", asked another child. "It means", said the girl, "that you grew in your mommy's heart instead of her tummy!"</blockquote>
Lisa
Staff
2013-12-19T19:30:00Z
What Losing Taught Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Losing-Taught-Me/130872149538722288.html
2013-12-18T19:30:00Z
2013-12-18T19:30:00Z
<br />
<p>I was a sprinter in Junior High, and I was very fast.... Already faster than the fastest girl on the high school track team. I didn't have to work very hard to earn a spot on the relay team, and made it to the state track meet my freshman year. At the end of the season awards dinner, I was given several awards, one for earning more points depending on the place you finish in a race, you get points. To letter, you needed 12 points, and I could have lettered 10 times that season, more than any one else on the team. You get the picture.</p>
<p>My sophomore season was tougher, and I didn't win as many races. Everyone, including myself, expected me to win my races at the state meet. I didn't. I was angry at myself and wasn't very nice to my parents. For most athletes, it would have been a great season, but I was ungrateful, arrogant, and expected to win without putting in effort. I won't bore you with details about my last 2 years of school, but I will tell you that I ended up being a state champion in all 4 of my events as a senior and earned a track scholarship.<br /><br />What is important is that I learned humility and perspective from losing. I learned that I had to work for something I wanted. I welcomed younger athletes and made them feel at ease at their first meet. I encouraged. I learned that winning isn't everything. Sure it's nice, but there is a deeper message.</p>
<p>Over the years, I've been a track coach for almost 15 years, 2 recently as a CYO volunteer with my kids. The lesson is always the same: Winning isn't everything, but conduct and sportsmanship are. Making an effort and improving weekly are just as valuable to me as a ribbon or medal, maybe more so. Run a little faster. Jump a little further. Throw a little further. Not everyone is made to be a champion, but everyone has a champion within them, it's all about how you measure it.<br /><br />Jenny</p>
Staff
2013-12-18T19:30:00Z
Keeping Sexual Intimacy Alive
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-Sexual-Intimacy-Alive/-496083152087547691.html
2013-12-17T19:30:00Z
2013-12-17T19:30:00Z
<br />
<p>Recently, a caller said her husband wanted her to join him in a swingers group to satisfy his sexual desires since she was "no longer interested in sex." You skillfully elicited some of the caller's hidden reasons for her inhibitions. But the dialog compelled me to wonder why so many women lapse into sexual disinterest and feel justified in carrying out a sexless marriage while expecting their husbands not to masturbate, cheat, or leave.</p>
<p>My husband and I are both 51. When we were newlyweds we had sex almost every night. And what young people don't know is that sex only gets better as you get older and improve your skills! Granted, with age and menopause we've both slowed down, and it definitely takes effort to keep up my interest in sex as my estrogen levels have dropped. But my obligation (and I use that term in a most loving and committed way) to my husband is that I save enough of myself physically and emotionally to be there for him when we go to bed. That can take some planning and forethought, but it is the greatest gift a wife can give to her husband. And although I'd never voice it to him, I'll admit that sometimes I am absolutely not in the mood when I pull those covers back. But if I simply relax and give in to him, he will quite adeptly get me into the mood...without fail. "Too tired" is preventable, and should never be an excuse not to engage in the most intimate and loving act between a man and woman. "Don't want the kids to hear" is a cop-out. And some of the best sex is a surprise attack on your husband when the kids are at school or a friend's house.</p>
<p>When our kids got older we simply told them we have sex regularly and to stay away from our bedroom if the door was closed and locked. And no matter how "gross" the kids thought it was that their parents were having sex, we emphasized that sex is something we did to help keep us all together as a family.</p>
<p>Yes, my husband masturbates. Yes, he looks at pornography. And why shouldn't he? I don't consider those acts of betrayal. They are simply acts of self-satisfaction and visual stimulation. I don't consider it cheating if he looks at porn because I am the ONLY woman my husband touches, confides in, laughs with, cries with, supports, and wants to grow old with. I'm kind of thankful to those beautiful ladies who can give my husband visual pleasure, which by the way...keeps his interest alive. We consider our sex life so sacred that we nurture it like a garden; something that is always growing but will die if you don't feed it.</p>
<p>I read <em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em> many years ago and have since passed the book on to others. What I have learned from the book and from listening to you for 19 years has given me such insight where men are concerned. And I wish that more women would be "girlfriends" to their husbands because I think our society would be filled with much stronger marriages. Thank you for your teaching, preaching, and nagging.</p>
<p>Helen</p>
Staff
2013-12-17T19:30:00Z
Cheap Dime Store Jewelry
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cheap-Dime-Store-Jewelry/-934128292869914209.html
2013-12-16T19:30:00Z
2013-12-16T19:30:00Z
<p> </p>
I listened to the young woman who wanted to know if she should wait till she knew her boyfriend better before having sex with him. I have only one thing to say: NOT THIS SIDE OF THE ALTAR. If he is not willing to wait, he isn't worth her time.<br /><br /> Here is a little insight my pastor said once, "The cheap dime store jewelry hangs out for anyone to fondle. The expensive stuff is locked up." How cheap women make themselves these days. If men want sex, it should cost them a wedding ring not just a promise. Promises with men are cheap. Unworthy men will tell any lie to get what they want. Those men want to have fun, then marry a decent girl of which they have no right. A girl also has a right to a decent boy.<br /> <br /> Rev. Ronald
Staff
2013-12-16T19:30:00Z
Different Stages of Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Different-Stages-of-Love/32359162641343117.html
2013-12-13T19:30:00Z
2013-12-13T19:30:00Z
<p> </p>
Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My wife and I just celebrated our golden anniversary on November 24. Sadly, she had a stroke two weeks prior to that. It was a minor stroke, a TIA. And I am now her caretaker, especially in managing her medicine. <br /><br />I think we go through different stages of love in our married lives. There was the love that attracted me to her which resulted in me courting her for 18 months. And the love we shared as a married couple beginning a new life with new experiences. Then there was my love for her as she went through labor pains being the mother of our three children. Our love matured even more while the kids were growing and went out on their own. The empty nest allowed us to have adventures like trying to find a couple dozen covered bridges in Pennsylvania where we worked together in learning to read rural road signs. Being in the twilight of our years and having to take care of her now, I am experiencing an even deeper love for her. The thought of her departing before I do makes me want to enjoy life with her so much more. She took care of some of her relatives, but cannot do it anymore, being unable to drive. Now it is her turn. I didn't know I had it in me to be a caretaker. Her memory problems existed before the stroke and she is becoming more dependent on me - and I like it. Only God knows what is in the works for us, but I am going to be an even better husband for her until death do us part.<br /><br />Stan<br /><br />
Staff
2013-12-13T19:30:00Z
My Nightmare Led to My Awakening - Literally and Figuratively
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Nightmare-Led-to-My-Awakening---Literally-and-Figuratively/208575396487211488.html
2013-12-12T19:30:00Z
2013-12-12T19:30:00Z
<p> </p>
The other day, I woke up in a sweat after having a dream my husband was having an affair. In my dream, I ran into him and his average looking mistress standing with their arms wrapped around each other at some random social event. I woke up angry and worried and defiant. I shook off the dream after telling him about it...to which he responded "Hm, I wonder who it was?" which only infuriated me further. <br /><br />A couple days went by and he let me know he would be an hour later than normal. My husband RARELY comes home late from work. As I listened, a little voice in the back of my mind was saying, "Sure, customer issues. You never help me out. You don't appreciate what I do. I bet you met someone more interesting at work and you're out with her right now." As a result of these thoughts, I was pretty quiet when he got home because I had already run a million scenarios through my mind....from checking his texts, uncovering infidelity, storming around the house, etc. He has always been cranky if he had to work later than usual, but this time, he came in, kissed our girls and was fairly pleasant. He helped me take care of the kids while I got dinner in the oven. I usually have to ask for help before he will get a clue. He changed the baby's diaper before I had even smelled a thing. I decided to get out of the house and go grocery shopping. When I got home 2 hours later, he had fed and put both girls to bed! He has NEVER put both girls to bed, much less without me asking. I was quiet all night and I attribute it to my nausea at the thought he may have a piece on the side and just being at a complete loss as to what I would do if that were true. I hardly slept all night. I also didn't have to nudge and nag my husband to get up to feed the baby when it was his turn. <br /><br />The next morning, I came to the conclusion that if he cheated, it was my fault because I was not the most pleasant person to be with. I was no longer his girlfriend. I realized he took so much initiative the previous night without me saying a word because he wanted to help me, not because I was asking for it. <br /><br />These past 3 days have been amazingly eye-opening. I have started to listen and watch him the way I used to. I have a long way to go, but I am thankful that you taught me to be aware of such scenarios before we have passed the point of no return. In return, he has been helpful, loving, fun and happy. Thank you, Dr Laura, for teaching me to assess myself instead of just getting angry and blaming others.<br /><br />Linda<br />
Staff
2013-12-12T19:30:00Z
An Ode to Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/An-Ode-to-Dr.-Laura/-210939766743876175.html
2013-12-11T19:30:00Z
2013-12-11T19:30:00Z
<p> </p>
Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />As a long time listener and avid reader of your books you've helped me become a better person. Here is a poem I wrote to thank you! - Kathy<br /><br /><strong>An Ode to Dr. Laura </strong><br /><br />In this season where we pause, and show our gratitude <br />I thank you Dr. Laura, for my new attitude! <br />30 years as a wife, and the mother of four, <br />Your no nonsense approach, has strengthened my core. <br /><br />Tuning in to your show, I get smarter each day, <br />Often scribbling notes, of the important things you say. <br />Now armed with the knowledge, to live a good life, <br />It’s amazing how small changes, can decrease future strife. <br /><br />Doing the right thing is easier said than done. <br />Especially in our culture, so focused on personal fun. <br />So here is the proof, from my 4 kid’s mom, <br />Of advice from your show, and DrLaura.com. <br /><br />I relay your stories, every chance that I get, <br />From warm baby birds to success is just past splatt. <br />When my husband comes home, burdened with stress, <br />I lead him to the bath, where I help him undress. <br /><br />And if our world needs a rocking, it helps me to know, <br />I might be in neutral, but I’m still good to go! <br />On the occasions my challenging in-laws, I greet, <br />I am learning to be, adorable and sweet. <br /><br />When dealing with the pain, of things I can’t control, <br />I choose piano, poetry and fitness, to rejuvenate my soul. <br /><br />And when I get sucked, into one child’s drama, <br />I remind myself, I have three other kids to Mama. <br />When faced with sudden grief, I have to let it be, <br />10 push ups, a warm shower, then some Chamomile tea! <br /><br />And when my mind insists, on creating fantasy, <br />I’ve found the strength to accept the facts, of truth and reality. <br />When looking for approval of the boyfriend at the door, <br />We’re onboard if he treats her like a lady, not a whore! <br /><br />If a shack up is the pathway, when deciphering a mate, <br />They’re on their own for planning, and deciding on a date. <br />Choosing wisely after 18 months, is what we do suggest, <br />Then take the time for counseling, don’t create a stressful mess. <br /><br />You’ve made me really focus, on the meaning of our vows, <br />A commitment made for life, not convenience for how we feel now. <br />Your books have been so helpful, by making me aware, <br />10 Stupid Things, Shark Attacks, and Feeding with Proper Care. <br /><br />A stay at home Mom, I look to those years, with gratitude and pride, <br />What other job could be more vital, than at my 4 kids' sides. <br />Fulfillment was found in the simplest of things, and being there to see, <br />4 little lives, growing each day, and happy to be near me! <br /><br />The nest now empty, warmth comes from my spouse, the birds have flown away. <br />The words from your show, will continue to guide, as I make the most of each day!
Staff
2013-12-11T19:30:00Z
A Man Needs Support, Too
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Man-Needs-Support,-Too/938917804681181102.html
2013-12-10T20:01:00Z
2013-12-10T20:01:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am one very happy girl these days and I believe it is your fault. My husband and I married last November after dating for 7 years. We waited until we were 25 and a little more mature to take the leap. We are LDS, so we did not make love until our wedding night, believe it or not.</p>
<p>After about 8 months I realized I was the only person in our home who was initiating intimacy. After dropping hint after ignored hint, I finally, and calmly, asked him why he was not interested in pursuing sex. His answer was a bit of a kick in the pants. He said, "You don’t support me. Who wants to be intimate with someone who is doing that to them?" Here I had thought sex was all he needed for my man of a husband. I immediately went into a "How do I fix this by tomorrow?" frenzy. I felt helpless, as I had to wait for opportunities to prove I had heard his message loud and clear. I even emailed you. Your suggestion was to buy your book, as you covered the topic. I purchased “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands”, along with a book with a book about some exciting new bedroom stuff, and went to work.</p>
<p>So one by one little things happened allowing me to stand behind his ideas. Little things that I didn't even consider before like decorating ideas, his opinion about the weekly menu, and what HE wanted to spend our little extra cash on. It came to a head yesterday. He is a very talented drummer and needs new cymbals. He KNOWS it pains me to spend hundreds on his drum equipment when what I want is only $40 (these are selfish thoughts I still fight). To further my proving-it-to-him plan, I went and researched prices on cymbals, told him the details, and purchased the one he needs most. You know what he did? He said "I know my hobby is expensive and you don't like to spend the money, but I really appreciate your support." It’s like he knew my plan all along! Then, out of the blue later that day, this strong-silent-type man sent a text to me saying, "I love you." I swear to you, I cried. He hasn't told me that without me saying it first in months. So this gross pimple in our lives is clearing up and I am on my way to continuing this gloriously happy marriage with the man I have loved since I was 17.</p>
<p>Thank you so much for your role in that.</p>
<p>Love,</p>
<p>Lauren</p>
Staff
2013-12-10T20:01:00Z
Shaping Character
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Shaping-Character/-921688783586603184.html
2013-12-09T19:30:00Z
2013-12-09T19:30:00Z
<p> </p>
When I was 14, my parents were in a horrible head on collision with a drunk driver. Seat belts weren't in use in those days and many cars did not even have them. My father's legs were both crushed into hundreds of fragments. My mother suffered a total facial smash. My oldest brother was 20 and came home to help with the family business in our small town. A mature family friend came to stay with us and help in the business too. My second oldest brother was 18 and was finishing high school in another town and we told him to stay there and finish. My sister was 6. I became the house cleaner, cook, surrogate mother, shopper... I took my mother's role plus went to school during the day. My parents were hospitalized for 3 months continuously and then intermittently for follow-up care and surgeries for years afterwards. The extended family wanted to split us up and take my little sister and me to their homes. I told the entire adult community there was no way that was happening. <br />
<p>How did we cope? We all handled it differently, but for me, I talked my sadness and pain out with friends, but the biggest thing was that I knew we needed to maintain a routine: one foot in front of the other. Keep things as close to what Mom and Dad would have done. How did we turn out? My oldest brother is a tax lawyer. The next brother is a surgeon. My sister was a stay-at-home mom who segued into an HR career after her kids were grown. Me? I am an RN who worked a little in the evenings and Saturdays until my kids were grown. Are we ok? You bet we are. We're tough as nails, but softies too. Hardship reveals character. We have character in spades.</p>
<p>Doris</p>
Staff
2013-12-09T19:30:00Z
Kids Living at Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Kids-Living-at-Home/-86063604261091463.html
2013-12-06T19:30:00Z
2013-12-06T19:30:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I listen to your podcast and I really enjoy your point of view regarding adult kids living at home. I have two sons ages 12 and 9, and even though they're young we try to talk to them about what life will be like as they grow up. We talk about college, living at home or in the dorm, getting jobs etc. One of these conversations prompted my 9-year-old to ask the question "What happens if I don't go to college and I don't get a job?" My immediate response was "Then, I guess you're going to be homeless." My husband and 12-year-old son laughed, but you should have seen the look on my 9-year-old's face! It seemed he thought we'd support him living at home no matter what!</p>
<p>Thanks for giving me the conversation starters that cause very entertaining moments in my family's life.</p>
<p>Much love,</p>
<p>Laura</p>
Staff
2013-12-06T19:30:00Z
Proud to Be My Husband's Gem
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Proud-to-Be-My-Husbands-Gem/145636349991447281.html
2013-12-05T19:30:00Z
2013-12-05T19:30:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I want to say thank you for everything that you have taught me, and because of it I am proud to say I am my husband's wife!!!! I started listening to your program when I was 11. I am now 25 and have read almost all of your books. My favorite is <em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>. My husband and I got married a little over a year ago.</p>
<p>I am a full-time student and recently got a job in the field I am studying. About a week into work, I started feeling like a bad wife because I didn’t have any time during the week for my husband. Then on my first Friday, I came home from a 19 hour day to a hot candle-lit bubble bath that my husband had drawn for me. After giving him a big sloppy kiss and hug, I grabbed your book and settled down for a nice long soak. With my priorities now straightened, I started brainstorming little ways to remind my husband every day how much I loved him and that he above all else was my NUMBER 1!!! So the next week and every week since I have written him little love notes before I leave for school. I have taken lunch times so when he comes to visit me at work we can eat together. And most importantly during the week, I MAKE time for sex. It doesn’t matter if I have to get up in 4 hours, the closeness with my husband is so worth it!</p>
<p>My husband told me last night that one of my coworkers stopped him on his way out the door, told him he was a lucky man and he wished his wife treated him half as good as I treat my husband. My husband smiled and told him "I don’t know what to tell you. I found a gem." I am so happy and proud to be my husband’s "gem" Thank you for reminding me that to get love, I have to give love. Giving is so much better than getting. That smile on his face is priceless!!!!</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, for teaching me how to care and feed my husband!</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Ashley</p>
Staff
2013-12-05T19:30:00Z
Lying Lessons
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lying-Lessons/-503803312891123277.html
2013-12-04T19:30:00Z
2013-12-04T19:30:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>The best advice about what to do when your child lies to you, came from you, Dr. Laura! Although it was a long time ago, I still use this technique today for other things as well.</p>
<p>My son was about 7 when he lied about something not all that serious - brushing his teeth. When I saw that his toothbrush was dry, I knew he'd lied or YUCK, used mine. We talked about the character of someone who tells the truth, how they can be depended on, how people trust them, and how other people perceive them. I punished him by taking away his "tech time" anything that was either plugged in or used batteries, and I thought that would be the end of it. My son would <em>NEVER</em> lie to me again, I was sure.</p>
<p>About a month later, he tested me again. Being 7, it wasn't a terrible lie, but it was the act of lying that hurt me the most. I used your advice and decided not to mention that I knew he was lying. Instead, I turned the tables on him and showed him how it felt to be lied TO. For one entire day, I lied to him every chance I got. Examples: "What are we having for dinner tonight, Mom?" was met with "McDonalds." "Can I play in the ball pit?" Me: "Sure!" I said it sweetly! When I began cooking dinner at home, he asked why, since it was already planned that we go to McDonalds. I just looked at him and said, "Sorry, I lied." "So I can't go and play in the ball pit?" ME: "Sorry, I lied about that too." Dr. Laura, It took a lot of planning and craftiness on my part to pull this off for the entire day. I'm not used to lying, so it wasn't as easy as one might think. In total, I think I lied to him about ten times. Each time, I simply replied, "Sorry, I lied.", then walked away. By the end of the day, he was crying every time I even opened my mouth. He promised me to never lie again as he didn't like how it felt to be lied to.</p>
<p>I can honestly say that even going through the teenage years I could hear his little mind clicking when he even thought about lying. The flip side of that, however, is that now he is painfully honest. There are some things a mother just doesn't WANT to know!</p>
<p>Thanks for the tip; you're the best!</p>
<p>Kathie</p>
Staff
2013-12-04T19:30:00Z
Nannies and Day Care Workers Cannot Replace Parents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Nannies-and-Day-Care-Workers-Cannot-Replace-Parents/504582229393450838.html
2013-12-03T19:30:00Z
2013-12-03T19:30:00Z
<br />
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am almost done with reading <em>In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms</em>. I loved what you said about nannies and day care workers not wanting to hire nannies or send their kids to day care because they see firsthand how it affects children.</p>
<p>I am a nanny and have been for 4 years with two different families. I have seen the difficulties of the children I watch with their behavioral issues and separation anxiety and much more. I used to watch a little boy who would cry <em>for me</em> every day when the parents got home and I would leave. I also had another 2-year-old boy who cried out for his mom to stay home because he was sick with a fever. She told him she would be back in a little bit when she got done with work. There were lots of tears that day. The kids don’t want me or anyone else, they just want their mothers. Even though I love the kids I watch, I can NEVER really love them the way their parents love them. I can NEVER really take CARE of them the way their parents take care of them.</p>
<p>I am so glad I have a husband who supports me in wanting to be a stay-at-home mom. He graduates in April and that is when we have decided to start a family. I can’t wait to stay home with my own kids and watch them learn and grow. I can't wait to see and hear the cute and funny things that they do and say. I don’t want to miss anything! Thank you for supporting stay-at-home moms. As I listen to you I feel empowered to try to be the best mom that I can be someday.</p>
<p>Love,</p>
<p>Adrianna</p>
<br />
Staff
2013-12-03T19:30:00Z
Getting Through a Difficult Time
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Getting-Through-a-Difficult-Time/253825457617149162.html
2013-12-02T19:30:00Z
2013-12-02T19:30:00Z
<br />One of the hardest times in my life, that I can remember, is the death of my fabulous, brilliant, loving, larger-than-life mother, who died of a cerebral hemorrhage at only 67. You don't 'get through' something like that. You endure. You grieve. You realize there was a reason that for thousands of years, mourning had visible signs: veils, wearing black, etc. and society made a certain sacred space for you. This is because, for a certain period of time, you're sick, out of touch, and neither in this life or in the next. Do you have to keep going? Sure. Do you have to continue to be kind, and diligent, and responsible? Yeah. I had a 10-year-old daughter and a husband I loved, who were grieving as much as I was. <br />
<p>I hate the concept of 'getting through' it, as if suffering were something to be ashamed of. When we love, and we lose that love, we suffer. The only way out of suffering is not to love. Time truly is the great healer. At some point, my husband and daughter and I started going a day or two without thinking about her. And that's okay too. That's necessary and good. The scar remains but the open wound healed long ago. And if she hadn't instilled strength in me, if she hadn't made me feel loved and nurtured, and accepted and admired, she probably wouldn't have been mourned as much. So in that sense, I can be grateful for the pain. Thanks, Mammina. As an old poem says, I'll always 'carry you lightly under my skin.'</p>
<p>Anna</p>
Staff
2013-12-02T19:30:00Z
Corny Joke...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Corny-Joke.../-730369240971374433.html
2013-11-27T17:15:00Z
2013-11-27T17:15:00Z
<br />I've been a fan for 15 years or so, and I always miss the corny joke contest. This one is long, but well worth it. <br /><br />There once was a world-famous circus trapeze acrobat who sought to perfect the quadruple spinning somersault. He tried and tried, but couldn't succeed. He determined that there was only one solution: The person catching him on the opposite trapeze had to be an exact clone. The acrobat connected with an underground mad scientist and made it happen. He produced an exact clone, trained him as an acrobat and wowed millions with the never-before seen stunt. As the months passed, he discovered a problem with the clone. During performances, the clone spouted very loud profanities. The problem was increasing to the point that audiences were thinning due to the foul language. The acrobat decided that the clone had to go. One day he rigged the trapeze causing the clone to fall to his death. <br /><br />A few days after, the acrobat found himself under arrest in a police interrogation room. The acrobat emphatically pled his case with police, claiming that it wasn't murder because the clone wasn't actually a person. The police detective told him he wasn't being charged with murder. "Why am I in jail?" asked the acrobat. The detective said, "Making an obscene clone fall." <br /><br />Cheers, <br /><br />Matt<br />
Staff
2013-11-27T17:15:00Z
Gifts That Change Lives
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Gifts-That-Change-Lives/-110398823059235576.html
2013-11-26T19:30:00Z
2013-11-26T19:30:00Z
<br />
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have to thank you for guiding me into being a stay-at-home mom 16 years ago. At that time, my neighbor asked me if I knew a "Dr. Laura". Well, I worked all the time, so no, I did not. And listening to talk radio was not part of my life. Then I got pregnant for the third time. I started listening to your show every chance I could and right before I delivered my daughter, Isabel, I sold my business and came home to raise my 3 children. Two years later, I delivered my fourth child, a son. Thanks to you I was home to raise all four children. Two years ago, my daughter, Isabel, passed away at the age of 13. Thanks to my neighbor and your advice, I had the privilege of being there for my children and being part of every day of my daughter's life. She was a gift that changed our lives.</p>
<p>Today, I'm still home, and with a very broken heart, I'm here to tell you that I am my kid's mom.</p>
<p>Elizabeth</p>
Staff
2013-11-26T19:30:00Z
Sometimes We Need Reminding
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sometimes-We-Need-Reminding/-275721605408847766.html
2013-11-25T19:30:00Z
2013-11-25T19:30:00Z
<br />
<p>Hi Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I am a busy mum of 18-month-old twins who are currently napping! It's been a long and tiring 18 months. My husband and I have both been doing our best to take care of business, but after having a ridiculous argument with my beloved husband yesterday, I suddenly thought of you and realized I wasn't taking care of my husband or myself. I have allowed the kids, laundry, housework, and our home business to consume my waking hours leaving little or no time for us. I realized I was starting to sound like one of those punitive, bitchy wives you talk about on your show, and I didn't like it. So, late last night, I snuck out to the drug store to pick up some condoms - the twins are enough for now. This morning, I got up early, did my make-up, put on a padded bra and a cute sparkly top! I installed the kids in the living room with their milk bottles and "Sesame Street" and then I "took care" of my man! After 10 minutes, not only did neither of us feel stressed, but I actually felt sexy and bonded to my man. A few hours later, he sent me a cute text and now I'm excited to surprise him with quickie number two!</p>
<p>So ladies, much as you may hate to admit it, Dr. Laura is absolutely right! Today, regardless of how "busy" you are, you need to take 10 minutes. Screw the laundry, screw the dishes, but definitely go *ahem* (screw) your husband!</p>
<p>Thanks for the reminder! I really needed it!</p>
<p>Natasha</p>
<br />
Staff
2013-11-25T19:30:00Z
Putting Your Spouse's Needs Before the Kids'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Putting-Your-Spouses-Needs-Before-the-Kids/-174222775040389082.html
2013-11-22T19:30:00Z
2013-11-22T19:30:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I listened with interest to the caller who asked whether she should put her husband’s needs before those of her children or even her own. She seemed a little surprised that you responded, “Yes,” but newsflash - you were right, of course. <br /><br />My wife and I have always found some great parenting advice in the pre-flight instructions given by the flight attendants; i.e., that parents should put on their oxygen masks in case of an emergency before they help their children. This may be counter-intuitive, since a parent’s first instinct is to rescue the child. But in an emergency, as a parent, it’s essential you ensure your own oxygen flow before that of the child, or the result may be a dead parent and a dead child. Putting on one’s own mask first not only ensures you’ll remain conscious to help the kid, it also serves as a powerful example to the child. <br /><br />Several years ago, our youngest daughter was behaving very badly over a long period and my wife and I despaired. But in one of the great moments of our marriage - and there have been many - she told me, “Look, if our daughter ends up destroying her life, so be it, but I will NOT let this hurt our relationship. You come first.” I remember being surprised by that statement, because my wife is the ultimate Mother Bear, but she meant it, and looking back it’s clear she always felt that way. We’re in our 40th year of marriage and I couldn’t be happier, because my wife has always put me first and I’ve tried to reciprocate. As a result, we have six very responsible, productive children who, following their mother's example, knows how to treat their own spouses. Thanks for being a great resource to us. <br /><br />Mark<br />
Staff
2013-11-22T19:30:00Z
Second Marriages
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Second-Marriages/-693657581157785937.html
2013-11-21T19:50:00Z
2013-11-21T19:50:00Z
<br />I think second marriages fail because of "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence" syndrome. I'm in my second marriage, and I'm proud to say my husband and I just celebrated our 21st anniversary! However, it wasn't easy!! I married my high school sweetheart at age 18 and had 2 kids right away. Of course I had to work - or so I thought - because we were trying to live like everyone else - with "stuff" and in debt. The stresses of job/kids/marriage became too much so I thought "the grass would be greener" and it would be easier to live our lives separately. We split the stuff, shared the kids, and I moved out. <br /><br />I fell in love with a co-worker, and after two years of dating, we got married. I had my reservations about this, but figured "the grass is greener" so it'll all work out. There was a lot of turmoil in the first several years - all the things you talk about on your show. There was conflict with the kids living in two households and not having a real place to call home. We added two more kids to the mix - and REALLY made the first ones feel displaced. My husband parented them differently. And then there were the money conflicts yours, mine, and the child support. The list goes on! I was in a stressful job, with my kids in day care, working 30 miles from home and in a marriage that was less than happy. <br /><br />Then I started listening to you. Initially, it was simply for the entertainment value, after all, I didn't agree with ANYTHING you were saying. Basically, I was doing everything wrong, according to you. After a while, though, it began to sink in. You were making a lot of sense! <br /><br />I read your book, <em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>, and put it into practice. WOW...there was hope! I began "treating him kindly", as you say, and he reciprocated! There was still a lot of stress, but at least we were getting along now and so we began having more than just superficial conversation. We eventually agreed that I'd quit my job and concentrate on being mom and wife. What a difference that made! The stress level for our whole family took a plunge! I realized that I had chosen wisely!! HE was a keeper! My first husband moved out of state shortly after I got remarried, so the boys lived with us full time. My husband is a saint for being a good role model for them. Although he initially competed with them, he eventually came around and they have a good relationship now that they are grown. <br /><br />Do I recommend second marriage? No...I have a lot of guilt for what I put my boys through - Luckily it's all good now, but wait until the kids are grown! <br /><br />Angie<br />
Staff
2013-11-21T19:50:00Z
Live My Life Being His Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Live-My-Life-Being-His-Mom/983306361498876012.html
2013-11-20T19:30:00Z
2013-11-20T19:30:00Z
<br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been listening to your show for almost twenty years now. In my teens, I listened to your advice with the hard exterior that foolish youth can provide. I had a baby when I was twenty years old and the loud crying of a newborn baby began to beat your advice into my mind and heart. My Dr. Laura lenses made it abundantly clear that his dad wasn’t going to live his life for either of us. So I had to put on my big girl panties and hang close to my parents and be my kid's mom. <br /><br />I hear so many of your callers fight the idea of not dating until your kids are 18, but it really is one of the most sacred pieces of advice you give. My son is now 14, on full scholarship to one of the best schools in the country, full of personality, kindness and smarts. Not so long ago I pointed out to him that I purposefully don’t date. He was shocked. I made it clear to him I put my money where my mouth is and live my life in a way that allows for me to focus on being his mom. I have to work, but overtime is out of the question. My real job starts after I clock out. I have few girlfriends, but most of them have a close relationship with my son because at least for right now we are a package deal. He spends lots of time with his alpha granddad doing and fixing all sorts of things us girls have little interest in. Many days I look at him and can't believe this has gone so well, but I can easily say that it is all because I live my life as “my kid's mom”. <br /><br />Please keep preaching, teaching and nagging because even when we stumble we can pick ourselves up, clean ourselves off, turn on the radio and remember to go take on the day. I thank you with all my heart. <br /><br />Raymond's mom
Staff
2013-11-20T19:30:00Z
Realize What Is Insignificant in Your Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Realize-What-Is-Insignificant-in-Your-Marriage/960783024358192708.html
2013-11-19T21:03:00Z
2013-11-19T21:03:00Z
<br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I want to share something I think about almost everyday and it came from your program. I remember a letter you read and sobbed about on air probably about five years ago. The letter was from a woman talking about how irritated she had been with her slobby husband leaving clothes, socks and whatever all over the floor. Then her husband died; and now that he was gone she realized how insignificant the stuff all over the house really was. She said how much she wished she could have the socks back on the floor. <br /><br />My wife is very untidy, leaving crap all over the house and it often drives me nuts. However, she stays home with our beauty one-year-old daughter and she really is a top notch mother and wife other than the crap all over the house! So, every time I feel fed up with the untidiness, I think back on this story and it instantly seems insignificant. Then I think about how much there is to be thankful for when you have a healthy, happy and loving wife and daughter to come home to everyday. <br /><br />This whole idea can then be transferred to any aspect of one's life when insignificant events occur that cause irritation, anger, resentment, hostility etc. I know I find thinking like this helps calm me down and appreciate how great things really are. <br /><br />Funny, as I finish this letter you have a woman on your program bitching about how materialistic she has become and how she's coming up with a bathroom renovation for her husband to do on the house. This is exactly what I am talking about… <br /><br />Aaron<br />
Staff
2013-11-19T21:03:00Z
She Didn't Have a Chance...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/She-Didnt-Have-a-Chance.../550443410066480338.html
2013-11-18T22:28:00Z
2013-11-18T22:28:00Z
<br />Recently I was made aware of how very important it is to be my husband's girlfriend. My husband works in an office with mostly female employees. One woman in particular began flirting with my husband and paid special attention to him. Recently, she asked him if she could talk to him while they walked out to the parking lot after work. They were at my husband's car and he turned around to put his laptop in the backseat. When he turned back, she kissed him. He told me that it was all very tempting. She was a very pretty woman and had given him a lot of compliments and attention. But he pushed her back from him and told her that he wasn't interested and to please leave him alone or he would talk to her supervisor. My husband has a lot of moral strength and character - but that's not all that kept him from falling for this home wrecker. He's got a wife at home who treats him like her lover. <br /><br />We've been married 13 years and we have two small children who keep me busy all day. But I get up with him every morning and make him a hot breakfast. I pack his lunch and often add homemade cookies and love notes. And every night, we get the kids to bed at 7:30pm and then have time alone together. Our sex life is fantastic and we're more active than ever. I don't nag at him, demean him or treat him like an idiot. I treat him like my lover and my man. That bimbo at work who was also married didn't stand a chance against a woman who knows how to care for her man. I wasn't raised with this knowledge nor did I have a good example of how to behave as a wife - but I've been listening to you and reading your books since I was a teenager. <br /><br />Thank you for the inspiration and for the example you are to young wives. <br /><br />Amanda<br /><br />
Staff
2013-11-18T22:28:00Z
My Sweet, Funny Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Sweet,-Funny-Man/163510980867087278.html
2013-11-15T19:30:00Z
2013-11-15T19:30:00Z
<br />I have been married for 23 years to my husband. I'm 52 and my body sure isn't what it used to be. I'm also going through menopause with hot flashes and night sweats on a daily appearance. I sleep in the nude and the other day my husband told me something:<br /><br />Husband: "Honey, I have to tell you something."<br /><br />Thinking this can't be a good thing, I say, "Okay, go ahead."<br /><br />Husband: "When I go to work in the morning and you're still in bed, it always makes me smile to see you laying there all naked with the blankets thrown off of you, so I watch you for a minute and leave for work with a smile on my face."<br /><br />Me: "So you think my hot flashes are sexy?"<br /><br />Husband: "No, I think YOU are sexy."<br /><br />Ha ha, he's crazy and sweet and I love that after all these years, he still finds this middle-aged, menopausal woman of his sexy! I picked a good one, right??? I'm still my husband's girlfriend!<br /><br />Janis<br /><br />
Staff
2013-11-15T19:30:00Z
I Wasn't My Husband's Girlfriend; I Was a Nag
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Wasnt-My-Husbands-Girlfriend;-I-Was-a-Nag/9526690354030270.html
2013-11-14T19:30:00Z
2013-11-14T19:30:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was married for 14 years. For a lot of those years I was a nag and not my husband's girlfriend. I nagged about him not giving me receipts when he spent money. I nagged when he took the kids to the grocery store and won them stuffed animals in the claw machine. I nagged when he went off to play golf, something he loved to do. I began listening to you and saw myself in so much that you said. I decided I wanted to be a girlfriend to this good man - a man who would have slayed dragons for me. <br /><br />On December 4 2011, I got a call that my husband had fallen at a friend's home. He wouldn't allow 911 to be called until I got there so our 10-year-old son wouldn't be scared. As I said, a good man. When I drove up, I saw my husband laying on the floor, unmoving. I ran to him and saw he was paralyzed. Dear God he was paralyzed from the upper chest down. The ambulance came and off we went to our local trauma center. I rubbed his arm, prayed, and thought I want to be his girlfriend - I don't want to be a nag. I stood in the trauma bay and was told that the outcome for his type of injury was poor. I watched as they intubated him. I watched as they wheeled him away for the CT scan that would tell me he was now a quadriplegic. I sat by his bed, rubbing the top of his arm, his face, his head - the few places where he could feel my touch. At that bedside the lack of giving me receipts, of winning stuffed animals for the kids and playing golf made me feel a fool. I would have given anything for him to get those things back. We made it out of the trauma center and rehab. <br /><br />For five months I cared for him, the house, our two children and had to work full-time now. How in the world did I ever complain about my life before. As I said, I was a nag. In that time I became his girlfriend again. We laughed, we watched movies and I laid my head on his shoulder. I realized I still had a good man. In August of 2012, a pulmonary embolism took him from me. I stood in the ER and made the decision to let him go. I stroked his brow, told him good-bye as his girlfriend. There are many regrets that I have, but I had 8 months where I was the wife I should have been to him for our entire 14 year marriage and I am grateful that I had the opportunity to be his girlfriend again. <br /><br />Keep doing what you do. I just wish that I would have listened to you so much sooner. <br /><br />Thanks, <br /><br />Jennifer
Staff
2013-11-14T19:30:00Z
A Father's Advice to His Soon-to-be-Father Son
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Fathers-Advice-to-His-Soon-to-be-Father-Son/408782302534557075.html
2013-11-13T19:30:00Z
2013-11-13T19:30:00Z
<br />
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My husband and I have been married 25 years. Our youngest son is expecting his first child. My husband decided to send him some advice regarding being a father. - Lisa</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">"I know you didn't ask, but I think a little advice, or lessons learned, about expecting a baby and having an expecting mother in the house is needed. I wish someone would have told me this stuff. Here we go:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">First, this is a team effort. She is not pregnant alone and you need to keep reminded her that you are in this with her. As soon as she feels like she is doing this alone, it all goes to hell in a hand basket. The thing is, you have to step up the effort to keep her from feeling that way. It doesn't take much at all to push her over the edge. Which leads to the second part of my lessons learned…</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Second, your loving and caring wife has now become a deadly ticking estrogen time bomb. That bomb is ready to blow at any time and you can never know just when. The good news is, you have strong control of the timer. You can't diffuse or stop it but you can move it back as often as you wish. Small daily efforts move it back in small chunks. These efforts include: 1. Bring her flowers every once in a while. 2. Hug her when you get home and ask her how her day was and then shut up and listen. 3. Tell her about your day. 4. Sit with her for no reason at all. 5. Generally give her some daily attention. Larger efforts move the timer back further, such as: 1. Picnic in the park 2. Take her for a drive through the countryside. 3. Take her to a movie, museum or other attraction she will enjoy. 4. Have flowers delivered for no reason. You get the idea. Pretend you are dating her and trying to get her to like you.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Later in the pregnancy other opportunities will pop up. She may need you to tie her shoes, rub her ankles or kill some son-of-a-bitch that's pissing her off hopefully that individual is not you. The whole point is pregnant women NEED a lot more attention than normally or very bad things happen. She may not kill you, but you sure will wish you were dead. She may be the one carrying the baby, but you have to carry mommy. AND, we are all here to help."</p>
<br />
Staff
2013-11-13T19:30:00Z
How Would You Like to be Paid?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Would-You-Like-to-be-Paid/-67863372841504551.html
2013-11-12T19:30:00Z
2013-11-12T19:30:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura: <br /><br />I am in your debt and owe you. So choose what sort of payment you want. Please make it very, very expensive because what you have given me is priceless. <br /><br />I am married to the most caring, compassionate, giving, selfless, wonderful man who ever lived. Not only is he my boyfriend and best friend, he is the sunshine in my day. Without him, life would be a never ending series of gloomy cloudy days. We have two children ages 15 and 4. <br /><br />I should tell you that before listening to you I made mistake after mistake. I shacked up with a man who was not only emotionally abusive, but turned out to be an alcoholic and drug addict. He was not only abusive to me, but also to the child we had together. I left him and he very willingly signed away his parental rights to avoid any sort of child support. I met my current husband soon after leaving him and yes, I didn't follow the advice you give about staying single until your child is raised, I fell in love with him. I am, however, the exception to the rule. My husband not only fell in love with my daughter, he adopted her and she is now his life. Although my story has a happy ending, I wouldn't advise anyone else to do this. It could have just as easily gone the other way. We had another daughter in 2009 who is now 4. <br /><br />I had thought by this time I had "matured", how little did I know. I thought that because I didn't have my child in day care and my husband watched her while I was at work, I wasn't harming her in anyway. Boy how wrong I was. Although my husband is a wonderful father, I didn't realize that nothing, and I mean nothing, can replace the love and time a mother has with her baby. By the time I came home from work and took care of the cooking, laundry and various other household chores, I was much too exhausted to spend any quality time with her. Everyday at work, I would listen to you tell women how important it was to be at home with your child. Each time I heard you say this to some woman, a little tingle went up my spine and I would think, "Quit and go home where you belong." My husband was very understanding of my job or so I thought, but I could tell he wanted me home also. After one particularly grueling day, I looked at my boss and said "I like you very much and I like my job, but I LOVE my family" I quit there and then. I couldn't stand one more moment away from the really important things. I have never looked back and I have never been happier. Not long after me quitting, my daughter said, "Mommy, you're not leaving to work?" I said, "No Baby. Mommy's not leaving to work ever again." Her hug and smile brought tears to my eyes and a feeling I couldn't ever begin to describe. So you see Dr. Laura, I owe you for opening my eyes and giving me the greatest gift I have ever been given...my family. Name your price. <br /><br />Forever in your debt,<br /><br />Nancy<br />
Staff
2013-11-12T19:30:00Z
Want to Go Out With Me?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Want-to-Go-Out-With-Me/-123620920044094238.html
2013-11-11T19:30:00Z
2013-11-11T19:30:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Thank you so much for helping my mom raise me. It is because of your book, Ten <em>Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives</em> that I have yet to mess up my life. I have a wonderful husband and 4 beautiful kiddos, to whom I get to stay home and raise. Over the years I have grown to understand what it means to be my kids' mom, but it wasn't until tonight that I really understood what it meant to be my husband's girlfriend. <br /><br />My husband is gone at a bachelor party tonight. Being that I'm home alone with 4 kids I decided to make a night of it. I gave the kids their favorite dinner of mac' and peas, then let them stay up late watching shows. I gave them all baths and sent them to bed. I worked out a little, took a shower and then sat down to eat my dinner in peace and quiet - rare to come by around these parts. Right as I was about to take a bite of my vegan sandwich, something my husband wouldn't be caught dead eating, I thought of him. So I decided to send him a rather scandalous text. No pictures or anything, just a little comment to let him know I was thinking of him and missing him while he was gone. The minute I pressed send though I realized... The text was sent to my daughter's dance teacher!!! No joke. I was so embarrassed and proceeded to follow it with a very apologetic message. Then I sent my husband a message explaining what had happened. Instead of getting jealous or worked up that I had just sent this somewhat vulgar message to another man he laughed it off. Then he left the party to call me and tell me how much he loved and missed me on his night out with 'the boys.' It wasn't a long conversation, but it was just enough that we felt like we were dating again. <br /><br />An hour later he sent me a message, "Hey Babe, I still want to take you up on that offer. I got a babysitter for tomorrow night, will you go out with me?" If that's not a message you get from your boyfriend I don't know what is!? <br /><br />Thanks for all your advice. I hope in 50 years I can still be my husband's girlfriend. <br /><br />Cyndie<br /><br />
Staff
2013-11-11T19:30:00Z
My 33rd Un-Anniversary
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-33rd-Un-Anniversary/545186653565979378.html
2013-11-08T19:30:00Z
2013-11-08T19:30:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Today is my 33rd wedding anniversary. Unfortunately, it won’t be shared with my wife. I separated from my wife 4 months ago and in 8 months I will file for a divorce. You see one year ago I told my wife that she needed to change or the marriage was over. <br /><br />Over the last 20 years, I lost my girlfriend, the woman I loved and the woman I thought I married. We had been going for marriage counseling for the last 20 years. (20 years and we still needed counseling?) Something wasn’t working and it was the way my wife was treating me. She has treated me with contempt, disrespect and disdain. She even influenced our three children to do the same. Whose fault was it to allow this kind of treatment towards me? It was mine. <br /><br />I finally began to wake up to this about 6 years ago when my wife tuned me into your show. I instantly became a fan and my wife began to dislike what you were saying. She was drinking the feministic Kool-aid by the jug and her disdain toward me grew. She would deny that, but her actions and words showed the opposite. She would tell me didn't like listening to you anymore and would not finish reading your book, <em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>, because it made men sound like simpletons. (I have read it a number of times.) I even bought a podcast membership to your show for her, which she declined. I responded by saying your book talks about men being simple and easy to please, not simpletons. I believe she didn’t want to admit that she failed to care for me and had no desire to do so. She even accused me of trading Biblical values for the Dr. Laura propaganda. I have not lessened the Biblical values of marriage at all. I have found that you provide real life examples of what a Biblical marriage looks like. Your book is how to take care of a husband from a man’s perspective. All I wanted from my wife is to treat me with respect, honor, dignity and value. I tried to communicate that to her for the past 6 years or more. I guess I didn't do a very good job. I continued to get more resistance and contempt from her which led me to believe that the chances of my wife and I ever experiencing a true and real intimate marriage would be slim to none. That’s when I realized I was pushing a rock uphill and decided to end the marriage. <br /><br />Am I happier? No, but I am less unhappy. I know that I will recover, and it will take time to heal from the abuse I have taken and allow myself to receive. As I heal, I will then be in a better place to choose a real woman next time, which I am looking forward to. I am not alone. In fact, I know many men in the same or worse state of marriage and treatment than me. Don’t stop speaking out against feminism Dr. Laura. Continue to be the advocate for the proper care and feeding of men. If women won’t wake up to this then maybe men will. I did. <br /><br />Unloved by my wife, but not unlovable, <br /><br />Derryl<br />
Staff
2013-11-08T19:30:00Z
Working vs. Stay-at-Home Mommy Wars
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Working-vs.-Stay-at-Home-Mommy-Wars/-460021854566610236.html
2013-11-07T19:34:00Z
2013-11-07T19:34:00Z
<br />I am just going to come out and say it, once and for all, "I DO NOT WANT A JOB!" I do not have one, want one, or plan to get one. It is not because I am lazy, sure I have lazy days, just like everyone else, but by nature I am not a lazy person. No more of this "once the kids are in school…" lie I say to make it more comfortable when I am talking to a "working mom". Nope; not even then do I want a "job". I have a job; in fact I have multiple "jobs" I just don’t get a lunch break or paycheck. I am a wife, cook, friend, boo-boo kisser, Laundromat, chauffeur etc… We have all heard it before, but it is true I am all of those things. But most importantly I am my kid’s mom Thank you Dr. Laura! And I am my husband’s wife. <br /><br />Just because my kids will be in school full time someday doesn’t mean that they will need me any less. They will still need me at 9 years old when someone teases them for wearing the wrong brand of shoes, at 13 when someone offers them drugs, at 16 when their heart is broken in pieces by their first love. The older they get the harder their life choices become and making the right choice becomes that much more important. My children will still need me. And I will be there waiting by the door when they get home. <br /><br />My husband needs me. He needs me to make his lunch, to have the coffee ready in the morning, to kiss him good bye and to support him in every way as he supports us. He needs me to be refreshed and to make him feel needed as a man. <br /><br />Yes, that is my JOB! I am a wife and a mother. To some of you all these things may seem silly, mediocre, or old fashioned, but to me it is my life; a life I have chosen, a life we have chosen, a life I would not change!!! I don't want to have a "job" and have to choose which boo-boos I will be there to kiss and make better. I do not want to choose which soccer practice I make it to, or which field trip I will chaperone. I want to be there for it all! <br /><br />I am my kid’s mom for always. They will not always need me waiting by the door, but until the day when they give me back their key, I will be there waiting. Waiting to help them with anything and everything they need and hopefully teaching them to do the same for their children someday. When the time comes for me to start the next chapter of my life, I will still be my husband’s wife and my kid’s mom, and my grandchildren’s Grandma. All of which I want to be. I am a woman and that is my job. I am proud to say that! I do not need to justify, explain, feel guilty or feel less than because of this. I embrace being a woman and the natural role I have in my family because of it. I am blessed to have such an amazing life. I am blessed to have a husband who feels the same way. <br /><br />I am my kid’s mom, and my husband’s wife, and I do not want just a job. <br /><br />Stephanie<br />
Staff
2013-11-07T19:34:00Z
Wanting Sex More Than Doing the Dishes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Wanting-Sex-More-Than-Doing-the-Dishes/490496526113618502.html
2013-11-06T19:31:00Z
2013-11-06T19:31:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you have done for me in the past few months. I am a new listener and your books, <em>In Praise of Stay-At-Home Moms</em> and <em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em> have already transformed my life and my marriage. I just had my first child in May and the experience made me reevaluate my priorities. <br /><br />I was thrilled to be a stay-at-home mom, but was feeling a wave of negativity from my mother, my mother-in-law, and my very feminist friend. I felt like I had something to prove and would get stressed when I couldn’t take care of a very active infant and have the house sparkling. I would get frustrated and take it out on my husband – who never even once complained about the house. I read <em>In Praise of Stay-At-Home Moms</em> first and instantly felt so much more relaxed and validated. I knew that the priority was my baby and that my husband somehow got that a lot better than I did. <br /><br />So I decided to read <em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em> and my first emotion was anger. I had the feminist nonsense so ingrained in me that my reactions to the possibility that I could be responsible for the happiness or lack thereof of my marriage made me instantly want to blame my husband! As I continued reading, the book rang true and I realized how much I had been pulling away from my husband, especially in the sex department. I was getting to the point where I wanted to do the dishes more than I wanted to have sex, and when I realized that, I knew how out of line my thinking was. It took very little to turn the situation around. A couple nights in a row of me initiating sex with my husband and he turned into the happiest, most giving man in the world. I feel like we’re newlyweds and can’t get enough of each other. Not only that, it is amazing to me how he comes home from a long day at work and a long drive home and jumps into taking care of the baby to help me out without me even having to ask. You’ve inspired me to continue to work at the two most important jobs in the world: being my kid’s mom and being my husband’s girlfriend; and I can’t thank you enough for that. <br /><br />Talia<br />
Staff
2013-11-06T19:31:00Z
My Career Is Motherhood
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Career-Is-Motherhood/296242464114208644.html
2013-11-05T20:50:00Z
2013-11-05T20:50:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My high school daughter's homework assignment was to ask her parents if they went to college and how many career changes they had made: Did going to college or not, make a difference in their career path? I have always regretted not going to college. At first, I told my daughter I made four career changes in my life. I worked at jobs that allowed my children to always be at home with either me or my husband. I am not a fan of day care. I did not want to pay someone else to do the job I wanted which was raising my children. <br /><br />After thinking about this, I told my daughter to change my response to, "I have had one career and that is being your mother." This change in my perception has given me new found confidence. I am very proud of the career I have chosen. I have been on the job for 25 years. I have two sons in college and teenage daughter who is my sunshine. She wants to be a mother someday and the careers that she is most interested in are the ones that will allow her to be a full time mom. I think I can count this as a successful career for me. <br /><br />Please pass this on to any mom who feels unsuccessful because she is putting her children first instead of her career. Motherhood is a career! <br /><br />Christina<br />
Staff
2013-11-05T20:50:00Z
Proud of My Spouse's Accomplishment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Proud-of-My-Spouses-Accomplishment/-740580911723142776.html
2013-11-04T21:39:00Z
2013-11-04T21:39:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My husband and I have been married just shy of 3 years, and have been together for 6. I knew he was the one when I told him a true husband will swim through shark infested waters to bring lemonade to his wife. He sat there looking a little confused for a minute, then asked, “Would you like flavored, or regular?” <br /><br />Throughout our time together, I have been honored to be called his girlfriend, fiancée, wife, and someday, mommy to his children. When we were first dating, I told him I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and homeschool any future children I might have. This was a complete shock to him, I was the only person he knew who ever had this goal, let alone had been raised that way. On his own, he did research, comparing the pro’s and con’s. He came back about a week later completely on fire for the ENTIRE goal! <br /><br />Since then, he has been trying hard to get into the career he is passionate about - being a police officer - so he can provide for our family. Both of us are born and raised Southern Californians, and we can’t wait to get out! He got into the police academy and on top of that, it’s in the state we wanted to move to! We have been living apart for 9 months because we wanted to be sure before I quit my financially secure job, that everything would work out with the department and training. Out of about 85 classmates, he has consistently been one of the top three officers of his class. I will be moving out there in 3 weeks, the same week he graduates from the academy. <br /><br />He has stood up to his family and friends defending our very unpopular desired lifestyle of me being a stay-at-home mom, and has done whatever it takes to be able to provide for me and our future family. I couldn’t be prouder of him! <br /><br />Michaela <br /><br />P.S. I’ve been a good girlfriend! I’ve flown out to see him several times, made him freezable dinners so he didn’t starve, and sent back care packages. I can tell you, all the guys in the department are very jealous of him, and they have their wives with them!<br />
Staff
2013-11-04T21:39:00Z
Words of Wisdom From a 4-Year-Old
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Words-of-Wisdom-From-a-4-Year-Old/-147463890366800471.html
2013-11-01T18:30:00Z
2013-11-01T18:30:00Z
<br />When my son was 4 years old, I took his tiny hand in mine and said, "One day, your hand will be bigger than mine and then you won't need me or your father," whereupon he burst into sobs and cried, "But I need a mommy and a daddy!"<br /><br />From the mouths of babes pour words of wisdom…<br /><br />Incidentally, John is now 22-years-old and now and then he still needs us.<br /><br />Rosemarie<br />
Staff
2013-11-01T18:30:00Z
Opening Doors
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Opening-Doors/202226651972318846.html
2013-10-31T18:30:00Z
2013-10-31T18:30:00Z
<br />When I was young, starting at 4 years old, my mother would always make me open the door for her and my sister. Whether getting in or out of the car or going into a store before they were automatic doors, I was forced open the door while my sister was taught to wait. <br /><br />Some of those doors were extremely heavy and I did not like doing it at all. I think I complained nearly every time. I remember when a man tried to help me open a door to Sears that was not automated. My mother would not have it, and wanted me to do it myself. The old folks would just smile and my sister too. I felt as though everyone wanted to see me suffer. Well, at least when you are 5 years old, it seems like a lot of work! <br /><br />It paid off though as I grew older. It became normal to open doors for girls at school and when out on dates. I cannot tell you how many times young ladies would say to me that they had never had anyone open the car door for them. We are talking women in their early twenties! I had thought every guy did this, but learned I was the exception not the norm. I found out many women were very impressed by what is but a minor act of kindness.<br /><br />Yet, not all took well to it. Several times in college when I held the door open to enter the class room I was told, "I can get that. I am not helpless," by a women’s libber, but it still never deterred me from opening the door for them. I think in some sort of way they appreciated it, but did not want to acknowledge it. Today I still get the door everywhere my wife and I go. She says she still appreciates it though I admit if I am not quick, she will get out of the car so I have to keep on my toes! <br /><br />So moms, make your young sons open the doors and teach your daughters to wait and say thank you. It will come naturally by the time they are in college.<br /><br />Dave<br />
Staff
2013-10-31T18:30:00Z
Staying Home With Your Older Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Staying-Home-With-Your-Older-Kids/-268381763081960190.html
2013-10-30T19:04:00Z
2013-10-30T19:04:00Z
<br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I would just like to thank you for your support to stay-at-home moms. My husband and I have been happily married for 18 years and have two children who are 8 years apart. With my daughter, we were able to work out jobs and finances so I could be home for her. Once she started school, I worked a few hours from home. When my son was born, I gave up that job and focused on raising him. Between 2000 and 2008 life has really changed and I used the Internet to connect with other parents through my pregnancy. These were supportive women going through the same thing, so I was surprised when after our children were born and many of them had eased back into jobs that I started to get comments about me "only" being at home with my baby and school-aged child. Eventually I did what worked with my daughter - got out in the parks and met other moms with babies who were like me, sacrificing extra income so we could raise and enjoy our children. But it took me a while to pick up on that attitude, that somehow I was dumb or lazy because I didn't jump into an office job as soon as my baby was 6 weeks old. <br /><br />Listening to your show back in 2000-2001 when my daughter was a baby, I remember you saying that being at home with your children is just as important when they are tweens and teens as it is when they are little babies. I am so glad I internalized that lesson well. As my daughter navigates through 8th grade, and I see some of the hijinx going on with other kids, I am at home every day for her when she needs to talk through something. Only this week, a girl in her class broke down and confessed she had been blackmailed into providing videos for a pedophile online. The mother of this child was shocked of course, but one factor is how much time alone that girl had every day because she was "old enough" to take care of herself - never mind her daughter having all the technology, smart phone, etc. to be able to be contacted by a pedophile and make videos in the first place. <br /><br />Thank you again for your strong voice in our society, I have truly benefited from listening to your show over the years! <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Susan<br />
Staff
2013-10-30T19:04:00Z
Focus on the 80%
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Focus-on-the-80/593542535694354592.html
2013-10-29T18:46:00Z
2013-10-29T18:46:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />A couple of days ago, you were telling a caller not to allow the negative side of her relationship with her husband overshadow the positive side. If 80% of their relationship is good, that can be enough. After all, no relationship is perfect. Expecting it to be that way is just daydreaming. <br /><br />More than anything else I have heard you say, that particular comment struck a chord with me. I immediately thought of my relationship with my husband, and realized how much I had been nagging him about certain things. I was focusing on the 20%, instead of the 80%. It was distorting my own view of our marriage, and neither of us was happy. I thought I was helping him by telling him what I wasn't happy about, but I was pushing him away in the process and making him feel worthless. <br /><br />A little background: We were married 25 years ago, divorced after 15 years of marriage and I was focusing on the 20%, even then. After 6 years apart, I refocused on the 80%, we reunited, and last fall, we were remarried. Note: there are no kids in the picture except for the furry kind. <br /><br />I am so happy to be back with him, but I was starting to let my focus waver yet again. <br /><br />Immediately after hearing your show, I sat down with my husband and apologized for commenting on what I saw as his shortcomings. I told him there was so much more to our relationship that was good, and I vowed to stay focused on that and to stop nagging him. I acknowledged we both had faults, and each of us would fix them if and when WE were ready - not when the other person complained about them. My conversation with him brought us both to tears, AND to a better understanding of each other. <br /><br />Yesterday, I made a sticker and put it on the back of my cell phone as a reminder. It looks like a math problem gone astray, but I am confident it will work for me. <br /><br />80% focus MINUS 20% forget EQUALS 100% happy <br /><br />Thank you for putting things into perspective in an honest and straightforward way. <br /><br />Kim<br />
Staff
2013-10-29T18:46:00Z
Bull Elephants
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bull-Elephants/-346939261463755264.html
2013-10-28T18:30:00Z
2013-10-28T18:30:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Lately my 13-year-old son and I have been struggling with our usually great relationship. I couldn't understand the reasons for the sudden problems between us - bickering, arguing about literally everything, and snarky comments. It was getting bad! <br /><br />These last couple of weeks while riding together in the car, he and I have been listening to your program. You told the story of the bull elephants, 'Mom' elephants and juvenile male elephants. We both listened intently, and after the story about how the juveniles were separated from the bulls, only having the females' influence, and the terrible consequences that followed; he turned down the radio, and said to me, "Mom, that's us!" We had a great talk about how rocky our relationship had been getting and we both promised to do better. We later included OUR bull elephant Dad in the story, and he agreed that we all needed to be more aware of our son's need for the positive influence of the very powerful bull in our family and less of the females: his sister and me. <br /><br />I'll tell you what, the changes have been immediate and powerful. I can just kick back and let my males do their thing, knowing that my job as Mom is still important, just different now. It's been great! Just yesterday, we went to his sister's volleyball game. After the game he started nagging at me to go home. The adults were chatting, and he was getting impatient. I asked him why he didn't go nag at his Dad to hurry up, and his reply was: "I can't. He's talking to 3 other bull elephants right now." We both laughed and soon headed home grateful in the knowledge that we know our proper places. <br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, for putting this mom in her place. I'm grateful that I have such a wonderful man who can AND WILL turn his son into a man. Meanwhile, I'll provide the sandwiches and smiles. <br /><br />Cheers! <br /><br />Dee<br />
Staff
2013-10-28T18:30:00Z
Difference Between Marriage and Shacking Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Difference-Between-Marriage-and-Shacking-Up/228414091542096724.html
2013-10-25T18:30:00Z
2013-10-25T18:30:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />My husband and I just bought a new house recently with a nice attached garage, something our old house didn't have. We were both arguing over who was going to park in it as the snow can be pretty heavy here and it only fits one vehicle.<br /><br />I told him he should park in it because he goes to work everyday and as I'm a stay-at-home mom there are days when sometimes I don't leave the house at all...especially during the winter.<br /><br />He came back and said that I should park in there because I would have to lug both our kids out in the snow and clean it off.<br /><br />We came to a compromise and said he will park in the garage, but if I have somewhere to be the next day I get the space.<br /><br />Recently, we were selling a vehicle we no longer needed. A woman and her boyfriend came to look at it, and come to find out water was leaking into the trunk. We knocked off a few hundred from the price and I mentioned that if they have a garage they could park it in there when it rains/snows. The boyfriend immediately said, "My garage. My cars go in there." That is a direct quote.<br /><br />Hmm. I wonder if my man was just my shack-up stud if he would argue that he should get the space? I mean, if I were allowing myself to be an unpaid whore I have to get my dues in somewhere, right? Like being able to park in the garage? I guess I'll never know as I married him and plan on staying married until one or both of our deaths. <br /><br />We can also wish for a very mild winter.<br /><br />You're the best.<br /><br />Katherine<br />
Staff
2013-10-25T18:30:00Z
Messy Homes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Messy-Homes/884557858522491710.html
2013-10-24T18:30:00Z
2013-10-24T18:30:00Z
<br />I heard your comments on a recent broadcast about your living room being a "toy box" when Deryk was little. I remembered this poem I crossed-stitched into a wall hanging a long time ago that I thought you would appreciate. - Amy<br /><br /><strong>"Excuse This House" </strong><br /><br />Some houses try to hide the fact<br />That children shelter there,<br />Ours boasts it quite openly,<br />The signs are everywhere.<br /><br />For smears are on the windows,<br />Little smudges are on the doors<br />I should apologize, I guess<br />For toys strew on the floor.<br /><br />But I sat down with my child<br />And we played and laughed and read<br />And if the doorbell doesn’t shine,<br />His eyes will shine instead.<br /><br />For when at times I’m forced to choose<br />The one job or the other,<br />I’d like to cook and clean and scrub,<br />But first I’ll be a mother. <br /><br />Author: Unknown<br />
Staff
2013-10-24T18:30:00Z
Pleasant Reminder of What a MAN My Husband Is
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Pleasant-Reminder-of-What-a-MAN-My-Husband-Is/194218039569600762.html
2013-10-23T18:00:00Z
2013-10-23T18:00:00Z
<br />It's a little intimidating to email because when I hear the "Email of the Day," it always sounds so well thought out by the writers, but I couldn't miss a chance to tell you there is at least one more REAL man in this world. <br /><br />My husband and I have been married for close to 2 years now and I have always known he was an alpha-male, but there are still situations in which I wonder how he would react should they come about. In the past I had only dated weak, passive men and it was natural for me to 'worry' about coaching them in any type of confrontational situation. My husband rides his motorcycle to work every morning. One morning, after he kissed me goodbye and I was falling back to sleep, I was awakened by a constant loud pounding of the doorbell. Since he had just left, I thought the only possible explanation must be that my husband was in an accident on our street and the neighbor was coming to get me! I panicked and threw on a robe. It turned out to be an angry man from 2 houses down yelling at me to make my husband come see him when he got home because the neighbor was tired of hearing his bike in the morning. The man was extremely rude to me, not to mention, that he scared me half to death. When I called my husband and told him, he bluntly said "I have to go now so I can focus on work, but I will take care of it." <br /><br />When my husband got home, the man came over as my husband was fixing something in the garage. My husband asked me to go into the house. Immediately, I had doubt he wouldn't say exactly the right thing, or get all of the words out that needed to be said, or worse, be too polite, but I heard your little voice in my head and stopped myself from wanting to spy and went in the kitchen. They were arguing for a few minutes and I could just hear them raising their voices, but I could not make out the words. I caught the tail end of the yelling and heard the EXACT words I silently doubted would come out of my hero's mouth: "You will NEVER speak to my wife like that again or harass her! Don't apologize to me, you need to apologize to her." He opened the door and asked me to come in there. The man sincerely apologized to me and we sorted everything out. I will never doubt my husband's efforts to protect me again, and I thank God for finally choosing wisely. <br /><br />Thank you for being the little voice in my head telling me to do the right thing. <br /><br />Ellie, the proud wife and girlfriend of a soldier.<br /><br />
Staff
2013-10-23T18:00:00Z
I Am Now a Stay-at-Home Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Am-Now-a-Stay-at-Home-Dad/-790789614891813521.html
2013-10-22T19:20:00Z
2013-10-22T19:20:00Z
<br />My wife and I used to commute into work together every day. Our routine was to get up, then get our 6-year-old son and 4-year-old daughter up, dressed, fed and rushed out the door to day care. After work, we'd pick them up, feed, bathe and get them ready for bed. We were always rushing. <br /><br />My son was kicked out of 3 different day cares in the past 2 years. On a weekly basis we were called during the work day asking us to pick up our kids due to our son's behavior. Recently, my wife went to the east coast for a week of training. While she was gone, I took a week of vacation. I absolutely loved being with my kids all day. My son was well-behaved and I learned he didn't like day care. <br /><br />When she came home, I told her I wanted to be with the kids full time. She looked for other jobs and found one, so I can stay home with MY kids. I want to be the one who drops my son off and picks him up from kindergarten. I want to hear about his day. I want to play dolls with my daughter when my son is in school. I no longer want to rush. And I am tired of eating frozen food because we are too tired to make a proper meal. <br /><br />Next week is my last week of working. I am looking up various recipes to have healthy meals for MY family. When my wife gets home, dinner will be ready, clothes washed and put away. No more rushing. <br /><br />The best part is I will be there to play and interact with my kids. No more stress or worries about having to leave work due to day care problems. My wife is great and I am able to do all this because of her. I can't wait to be with my kids. I love them so much. <br /><br />David<br />
Staff
2013-10-22T19:20:00Z
He Doesn't Tell Me That I Am Beautiful
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Doesnt-Tell-Me-That-I-Am-Beautiful/-764714379559390218.html
2013-10-21T18:30:00Z
2013-10-21T18:30:00Z
<br />I have been contemplating calling you for some time about a complaint I have about my husband. Today, I took some time to think about how the conversation may have gone if I had called you about my "complaint". Now, the conversation may have sounded different, but I think the conclusion would have been the same. <br /><br />"Hi Dr. Laura. Thank you for taking my call. I am 29 and my husband is 32 and we have been married for 7 years next week. When we were dating and first married he would call me 'beautiful' all of the time - now he only says it sporadically and I want to hear it more. When I tell him this, he will tell me the next day that I am beautiful, but then he won't say it again for several weeks."<br /><br />You would then ask me what has changed and I would begin to defend myself, "Well, I always look cute for him. I am his girlfriend. We are having more sex than we ever have had..." and you would say, "No, what has changed."<br /><br />What has changed is that we spent close to $100,000 in fertility treatments, and during that time I was able to stay home and focus on getting and staying pregnant. What has changed is when we finally got pregnant, I went into preterm labor and spent 5 weeks in the hospital. He was there faithfully every morning would come back each night with a delicious dinner and would only leave to take care of our pets and our home. What has changed is when our twins were born at 26 weeks and spent over 100 days in the NICU, without fail he was there before or after work, to spend time with me and the babies. What has changed is that after our babies came home from the hospital, we moved to a new state for a new job that he had delayed because of the twins being in the NICU. What has changed is that every day he rushes home after an extremely stressful day at work, gives me a quick kiss, runs upstairs to change his clothes and spends his evening with our twins and me, reading with them, tickling them and laughing with them. Once they are asleep he still will clean bottles or dishes or do whatever he needs to around the house to be helpful to me. That's what has changed. Our love has changed. He has matured. No longer am I the 18 year old that he started dating when one of the most important things was if I was "hot" or "beautiful". He now sees beyond my appearance and clings to who I am and what we have been through. <br /><br />I can hear you saying, "Would you trade all of who he is and what he has done for the somewhat meaningless phrase, "You are beautiful"?" <br /><br />And I would quietly say, "No". Never. I will never complain or pout about him not calling me beautiful "enough". What he says and does for me and our family is much more important. He may not say it as much as I would like but he shows me that I am on a daily basis.<br /><br />Jayme<br />
Staff
2013-10-21T18:30:00Z
Proud My Employee Left Me!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Proud-My-Employee-Left-Me!/990025656481998650.html
2013-10-18T19:00:00Z
2013-10-18T19:00:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />As a small business owner, I depend on my manager! So when my right hand gal came into work and told me she was expecting, I was sad. Not for me, but the child who would now be put into day care. When my manager came back to work after giving birth she only worked 20 hours a week not 40. My life was easier; however, I could not get out of my mind what she and that baby boy were missing! Every day my manager worked, I made sure I had you playing LOUD on my laptop when she did her pumping in my office. It did not take long for my manager to make changes in her family's life to be able to stay at home! When she gave me her notice she thanked me for always having you playing when she used my office. It gave her a smack in the butt that she needed to make changes in their spending and focus on what was important: staying home with her son! <br /><br />I miss my manager every day as my job has gotten harder; however, I would not change her decision for anything! I often text my old manager to see how she and her family are doing and she thanks me every time for helping her make the right decision to be a stay-at-home mom....I also make sure I thank her for being her kid mom!<br /><br />We are doing it Dr. Laura!!!! Keep up the good work and so will I.<br /><br />Heidi<br />
Staff
2013-10-18T19:00:00Z
Our Marriage Gave Him the Clarity to Walk Away
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-Marriage-Gave-Him-the-Clarity-to-Walk-Away/-29193283142899124.html
2013-10-17T19:00:00Z
2013-10-17T19:00:00Z
<br />I just received a phone call from my husband. He is away with a bagpipe and drum group of firefighters who are honoring fallen firefighters at our state memorial commemoration. After the memorial service, it is customary for pipe and drum groups to go to pubs as an "invasion" and play for fun and camaraderie. These events are quite popular with the pub crowds and it is lots of fun for the band. <br /><br />After my husband’s group played, he sat down to eat and was approached by a number of different women who made it exceptionally clear that they were very willing to provide their "attention" for the night. According to my husband these were beautiful young girls and women, business professionals, policewomen, etc. My husband was polite and said "I’m married" as he pointed to his wedding ring to show he was not available, and each of these women (a.k.a. sluts) said "I don’t care" or "It doesn’t matter." They even tried to reach under his kilt! My husband ended up leaving early because he was so uncomfortable. He called me as he walked back to the hotel and told me how much he loved me and was so grateful that we had the kind of marriage that gave him the clarity to walk away from temptation. How special is that!<br /><br />Several of his band mates did not honor their marriage vows that night, and even bragged about their experiences the next morning. When my husband pointed to their wedding rings and asked "What about that?", these "husbands" retorted "Don’t judge me." I am so glad I didn’t choose that type of "man" to be married to! <br /><br />While leaving the hotel the next morning, my husband saw one of the women who approached him the night before, and she made it clear how angry she was that he didn't take her up on her "offer." I find it incredibly disgusting...and so very sad...that women no longer appreciate a honorable man anymore. <br /><br />My husband and I have been married for nearly 30 years. We have two great children and a good life. It hasn’t always been easy and we are not perfect, but we consider each other as our "best friend" and know we can trust each other to honor our vows. I am not an ugly woman, but I am not a young, thin, perfectly coiffed, unwrinkled young lady any more. I am so glad my husband appreciates me as I am, as I dearly appreciate him for being a "REAL MAN." I pity those other wives who did not choose and marry good men. I am so proud of my husband.<br /><br />Thank you for helping me appreciate my husband, and for helping us keep our marriage strong. <br /><br />Louise<br />
Staff
2013-10-17T19:00:00Z
GFFL: Girlfriend for Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/GFFL:-Girlfriend-for-Life/264483463630203979.html
2013-10-16T18:00:00Z
2013-10-16T18:00:00Z
<br />Dear Dr Laura, <br /><br />I have been married to my high school sweetheart for 3 years, we got married at 21 and just had our first sweet little boy 3 months ago. Although it has been the most selfless, exhausting, life changing 3 months of my life, I vowed to myself early on in pregnancy that I would not be the wife who forgot about her husband after the baby arrived. So, since the baby has arrived, I have continued to remain my husband's girlfriend. <br /><br />Last night we celebrated the anniversary of our engagement and this morning, tucked on the nightstand was a letter from him that I wanted to share it with you:<br /><br />"My Darling....My Wife. <br /><br />Four years ago today, I vividly remember waking up thinking about what happened the night before we got engaged. As I woke up, I thought, 'Wow, I won't have to sleep alone anymore. I will have my best friend with me every night before bed and every morning when I wake up. And then, naturally, SEX! That will be awesome!' <br /><br />Now as I look back over these last four years I realize, all the above are great parts of marriage, but I severely underestimated how fantastic being married to you would be, and I had pictured it being fantastic already. Life after being married to you now has depth in the full sense of the word. I look at things in a new way because of the new perspective you have gifted me with. From the simple beauty of a cozy rainy day by the fire, to a new way of looking at friendship, loyalty, faith, work and many more life experiences. You did not stop at Yes...you committed. And because of our commitment, we have had some great arguments and conversations that were hard to have, but were possible and necessary because of our vows. All this to say thank you. Thank you for saying yes. Thank you for not settling and for bringing YOU. Your wisdom and heart for what is good adds so much to who we are and who we are becoming as a family. I love you." <br /><br />Tears filled my eyes. It really does affect everything when you commit to becoming a girlfriend for life. It has changed our relationship. Since our baby has arrived, we have never loved or appreciated each other more. Sleepless nights have bonded us, the crying baby has made us cling to each other, the responsibility of a baby has grown us, parenting is refining us...What a joyous journey marriage is! <br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, for your encouragement to wives and to stay-at-home moms! You are like a dear friend I get to listen to every day. Thank you for fighting for happy marriages. You are so wise and young couples like us are listening and learning and DOING THE RIGHT THING! <br /><br />Much love to you! <br /><br />Jen <br />
Staff
2013-10-16T18:00:00Z
Reminding Me Why I Wanted to Stay at Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Reminding-Me-Why-I-Wanted-to-Stay-at-Home/505088729015609244.html
2013-10-15T19:00:00Z
2013-10-15T19:00:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I used to listen to you with my mom when I was a teenager, and my husband rediscovered you this summer on SiriusXM. We've both become addicted to listening to you – we take your podcasts around with us and listen whenever we have a chance. The other day I had the urgent feeling of needing my Dr. Laura fix for the day!! <br /><br />I've been a stay-at-home mom ever since the first of my three children was born six years ago. I work part-time from home, but only a few hours a week. I was raised by very traditional parents, so I always planned to be a stay-at-home mom. However, after marrying young and having kids right away, I started to resent being at home. I felt like I had no life, and I looked around at other women I knew who had their kids in day care and had successful careers and wondered, "Why can't I do that?"<br /><br />My husband always wanted above all to provide for us so I could stay home and raise our kids, but for years I didn't appreciate that. Going through bouts of depression, I kept talking about working again and getting out of the house.<br /><br />The problem was I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I tried child care twice. The first time was with a local day home, and I brought my daughter there once. She was distracted with toys when I left but she cried after I was gone, and I felt so awful I could never bring her back. The second time was when I was imminently expecting my third child, and I tried bringing my older two to a day care center where a friend worked. I took them there for four hours twice a week. They'd cry when I'd leave, but my friend would call me and reassure me that they cheered up immediately. And yet I'd be in a panic-stricken state of anxiety, completely unable to function, until I picked them up again. After two weeks, I stopped taking them. <br /><br />Ultimately I realized that as hard as it was, as much as I resented it sometimes, I really did want to be home for them. And just this summer, since I started listening to you again, I've realized exactly why. I don't want to institutionalize my kids. I want to be their mom and raise them and see every hilarious, adorable moment while I can. <br /><br />I received your book "In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms" for my free gift when I signed up for a premium membership to your podcasts on your website, and I’ve eagerly started reading it. My husband is extremely happy that I've finally realized the importance of being home with our kids – and that's another thing I have to thank you for, because you've reminded me about the importance of being my husband's girlfriend, of showing how much I appreciate and love him. <br /><br />I am so happy to have a wonderful husband, a stable, committed marriage and three beautiful children.<br /><br />Thank you.<br /><br />Anna<br />
Staff
2013-10-15T19:00:00Z
How a Man Should Treat a Woman
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-a-Man-Should-Treat-a-Woman/-353266235847747614.html
2013-10-14T19:53:00Z
2013-10-14T19:53:00Z
<br />By example, my parents taught me that a man should work hard for his family, his wife comes first, then the kids. They taught me that NAP time for parents on Saturday afternoon was private and kids do NOT interrupt! They taught me respect, love and trust. <br /><br />My dad was crazy in love with my mother. There was always a pat or a touch as he went by. He could be difficult, but my mother only had to raise an eyebrow or say "Oh, Bill" and he settled right down. He worked hard as a construction worker and my mom did accounting. They handled life's ups and downs together. <br /><br />They taught me that love never dies and loyalty knows no boundaries. When my mom died in 1994, my dad never dreamed he would live 12 more years without her. He missed her as much on the day he died as when she died. He passed away on Valentine's Day and I do not believe in coincidence. He went to see the love of his life. <br /><br />I wanted a husband who was strong, loyal, and loving. Someone who thought I was beautiful and sexy, would weather life's storms with me and would swim through shark infested water to bring me a lemonade. I scored! My husband is all that and more. We have known each other for 35 years and been married over 23 years. We have a marriage people admire, just like my folks' marriage. <br /><br />Jan<br />
Staff
2013-10-14T19:53:00Z
Children's Literal Interpretations
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Childrens-Literal-Interpretations/796123716873801494.html
2013-10-11T19:25:00Z
2013-10-11T19:25:00Z
<br />As you know children can be very literal in the way they interpret what you tell them. The following are a few of my children's responses: <br /><br />My youngest daughter's name is Erinn. I would tell my kids I'm going to the store for errands. One afternoon her older sister asked, "Why do you always go to the store for Erinn and not me." <br /><br />When driving in the car one day, I asked my daughter, "Crack the window so we can get some fresh air in." She immediately started pounding on the window trying to crack it. <br /><br />But I guess the nut doesn't fall far from the tree. When I was a little girl, my mother told me to always put on clean underwear every day. One day she noticed I was looking a little big in my lower region. Upon examination; I was wearing seven pairs of underwear; one on top of the other. She forgot to tell me to remove the pair from the previous day. I guess that's how I learned to wear my big girl panties so young in life. <br /><br />Love your work keep on helping us to do the right thing, <br /><br />Julie
Staff
2013-10-11T19:25:00Z
Marriage of a Child Hurts Mom or Dad More?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Marriage-of-a-Child-Hurts-Mom-or-Dad-More/-296010596449931595.html
2013-10-10T18:34:00Z
2013-10-10T18:34:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I recently heard you say you believe a mom hurts more than a dad when the child moves on to the marriage phase. I'm not sure I agree. I gave my daughter to her new man about a month ago. I had four or five REALLY good opportunities to "fall apart" and a history of doing just that, but held it together. I picked a song for the DJ to play for the father/daughter dance, Cinderella by Steven Curtis Chapman, which is a song that I ALWAYS cry to when I hear it. Dad did great and dipped the girl at the end as well. <br /><br />Early in the day, I asked the soon to be son-in-law if he had any idea why this was the toughest day of my life. "You are giving away your daughter?" I replied, "That is only a part of it really. Until today, I had been responsible for her care, safety and nurture. Today, I turn that job over to you. God bless you, but please understand that I have very high standards. Yes, my daughter is beautiful. But I also have a gun, a shovel and an alibi. Take good care of my little girl." <br /><br />Thank you for all that you do. <br /><br />Mike<br />
Staff
2013-10-10T18:34:00Z
Never Stop Speaking the Truth
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Never-Stop-Speaking-the-Truth/40932630607746956.html
2013-10-09T18:36:00Z
2013-10-09T18:36:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />More and more, it seems like there is a disconnect in society, a bifurcation of people who are marriage-and-family minded and people who are self-minded. <br /><br />Sex outside of marriage and getting pregnant outside of marriage are nothing new. What is new is the attitude and reactions, which has made these problems much bigger in our culture. It used to be common that women who got knocked up outside of marriage already had a wedding date planned out, or soon did! Or, they relocated, even if only temporarily, to be with out-of-town relatives or "homes for unwed mothers". People used to be discreet, even embarrassed or ashamed of unmarried sex. Shacking up was scandalous. Now, people are PROUD of casual hookups, getting pregnant out of wedlock, shacking up, etc. Some parents even encourage all of this. <br /><br />These people look at you or anyone with your wisdom and moral clarity and the guts to speak it aloud as bizarre. It simply does not compute in their "reality" television-addled minds that they don't have a moral right to sex anytime with anyone, or a "love life," regardless of how many minor children they have with multiple different partners. They don't understand there are benefits to a child having a married mother and father. Marriage, pregnancy, and divorce are all about the whims and wants of the adults, not about the needs of the children. <br /><br />These people either do not believe that men and women are different and that both bring something of value to children, or they think men/husbands/fathers are destructive at worst, inferior superfluous duplications of mothers at best. Just look at how boys are! That's why boys need to be drugged! <br /><br />So when you tell them the truth, it is like you are speaking a foreign language they've never heard. They don't know that children raised out of wedlock without fathers have more problems. They don't know that day care is inferior to mother-love, and there are plenty of "experts" willing to tell them it isn't. They don't know that exposing a minor child to their new lovers increases that child's risk of being abused. They don't know that second marriages with minor children have a 75% divorce rate, and even if they did, they don't believe divorce is bad. They have no clue! And they dismiss the people who tell them these things as extremists, or old-fashioned as if that makes it wrong or bad, or somehow "forcing religion" on them. It is all about "I feel..." and "I want..." and "I'm entitled to have someone who makes me happy", with "happy" being that rush they feel with a new relationship. <br /><br />What are we doing to our children, and does anyone other than the "old fashioned" care? <br /><br />Kenneth<br />
Staff
2013-10-09T18:36:00Z
My Ah-Ha Moment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Ah-Ha-Moment/483270347278061389.html
2013-10-08T23:00:00Z
2013-10-08T23:00:00Z
<br />I have been listening since I was pregnant with my 6-year-old daughter. There have been many moments when it felt like you were speaking to me. As a reformed feminist I have you to thank for what my life looks like now. I am a full-time mommy and a girlfriend to one amazing husband. <br /><br />Recently, I had a conversation with my husband about our finances. We are facing another salary cut and I am a bit worried about making ends meet. As we were wrapping things up, I told my husband that if it got much tighter I would start looking for a part-time job so we could get by. Before the words were out of my mouth, my husband corrected me. He told me, "No." He would find more overtime and that we would simply have to cut back on non-essentials. He reminded me that I have a full-time "job" and no one could be hired to take my place. <br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura for helping me see the light. I got to spend the night grateful to have a real man that would do anything to take care of his family. I am so thankful for the chance to build my man up instead of tearing him down!!! <br /><br />Lori<br />
Staff
2013-10-08T23:00:00Z
Dating With Minor Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dating-With-Minor-Children/-694139189589237992.html
2013-10-07T18:34:00Z
2013-10-07T18:34:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been told that I am a very stubborn woman. I was told by many people not to marry my now ex-husband. Did I listen? Nope. I married the wrong man. I then kept having kids with this man thinking it would get better this time. Four kids later, it never got better - only worse. The wake up call was from children services and the police informing me that my stay-at-home husband was abusing our kids. Within 24 hours of that call, he was out the door and 8 years later we haven't heard a word from him other than seeing him to sign the divorce papers. He has nothing to do with the kids which really makes me wonder what kind of man did I marry? Not a good one. <br /><br />I also was stubborn in thinking you were completely wrong about dating with minor children still at home. I did date after my divorce and was serious with a man for a few years. He got close to my kids and then one day decided that he didn't want to be bogged down with just one woman. Out the door he went. However, seeing the effect on my kids was the wake up call...finally. Not only did they have an abusive father who disappeared, but then a man who they grew to love all of a sudden not care he wasn't seeing them anymore. I have never felt so much like a failure as a mother. <br /><br />I now realize, and practice the advice you have stood so firmly by. Do not date with minor children in the home. Over the past year, I have been there 100% for my kids. I realized that I don't have time to be someone's girlfriend. My time is to be my kids' mom! I have a few more years before my youngest is 18 and I am so glad I didn't waste more time than I did with a boyfriend who didn't care about my kids. I know there are men out there who would love to be with a woman who has 4 kids and one day I will meet that man and he will get to know my "adult" children. <br /><br />Thank you for finally getting into my stubborn head what was best for my kids. <br /><br />Wendy<br />
Staff
2013-10-07T18:34:00Z
Fantasy vs. Reality
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fantasy-vs.-Reality/-846527407444849685.html
2013-10-04T18:15:00Z
2013-10-04T18:15:00Z
<br />What makes my spouse better than any fantasy are numerous. The history we have shared for 57 years, along with the commitment, love and respect, and all the memories of a lifetime together can never be compared to a fantasy. <br />
<p>My husband lets me be "me". We have shared and joked about different fantasies for most of those years; but we both knew if we acted on them, they would no longer be fantasies and would be a threat to the kindness, caring, sharing, love and stability we had for a lifetime. When I look at my husband, I see the love in his thoughts, actions and eyes. I know that he loves me with all his heart. Acting out a fantasy would not have the blessings that come from a relationship that took years to nurture and build. And NO fantasy could ever compare to the good feelings I get from loving my husband so much and feeling even more loved and blessed in return.</p>
<p>My husband was my biggest fantasy when I was 17 and today he is still my strongest fantasy and the love of my life. A fantasy that would last one day, one night, or even a few years could never be worth the cost. Yes, a loyal, loving spouse is the greatest fantasy there is!!!!!! That will never be found flitting from bed to bed.</p>
<p>Fran</p>
Staff
2013-10-04T18:15:00Z
I'll Take My Mother-in-Law for as Long as I Can Have Her
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ill-Take-My-Mother-in-Law-for-as-Long-as-I-Can-Have-Her/624022742685863508.html
2013-10-03T18:15:00Z
2013-10-03T18:15:00Z
<br />
<p>Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I am a frequent listener of your program and always hear folks ask about their mother/daughter-in-law relationships so I wanted to tell you about mine. Whenever I mention to someone that my mother-in-law is coming for a visit they say, “Oh, aren’t you lucky” with sarcasm dripping. I always respond, “Yes, I really am” and mean every word of it.</p>
<p>As you give advice about what mother-in-laws SHOULD do, I think to myself – yes, that’s exactly right – because that’s how my mother-in-law acts. One could say that I’m blessed with a husband who has a lovely woman as a mother, someone who is sweet and thoughtful and lots of other good things. All that is true, but she can choose how she acts towards me and I am SO lucky for those choices she makes.</p>
<p>As an example, when I was pregnant with my first child she came for a visit. I was transitioning my job to someone else and was frequently sequestered away. She asked how she could help and I told her I was behind in getting the clothes, diapers, etc. into the nursery. I showed her where they were and then my phone rang. I emerged from the other room several hours later and found her in the nursery with all the clothes laid out in neat little piles in the crib. She said, “I’m so glad to see you. I finished getting them organized but didn’t know where you wanted everything so wanted to ask to see what you wanted." When I told her I didn’t know, she gave some suggestions and then just waited for me to make decisions so that it would be the way I wanted it even though I hadn’t had a clue what I should do until she suggested it!. Even my own mother tries to tell me how to do something and then makes her opinion clear if I choose a different approach.</p>
<p>My mother-in-law’s lovely way of offering to help AND demonstrating respect for it being my home/children/marriage, has made me feel so loved. In return I have always tried to honor her. She calls when she is arranging a visit and asks if the timing of when she comes/leaves and how long she stays will be convenient for us. This last time I said, “We’ll take you for as long as we can possibly have you” and I meant every word of it.</p>
<p>Thanks for letting me share her story with you.</p>
<p>Jane</p>
Staff
2013-10-03T18:15:00Z
She Was Listening!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/She-Was-Listening!/-142612335952818971.html
2013-10-02T18:15:00Z
2013-10-02T18:15:00Z
<br />
<p>Since my granddaughter was about 3, she was exposed to your program every time I had her in my car. She would comment occasionally on your advice, so I knew she was listening.</p>
<p>She is 15 now, and recently had someone run into the back of her beloved car at a stop sign, then speed off. She drove to her sister's house, crying copiously, and called her mother. I asked her later, "What would Dr. Laura tell you to do?" Her reply was, "She would say buck up, quit bawling, and deal with it!"</p>
<p>What a life lesson for a girl of any age! I recently had a breast cancer scare and used the same coping mechanism - I bucked up, quit bawling, and dealt with it. Thankfully, the biopsy was negative and my life is back to normal.</p>
<p>Thank you for empowering girls of all ages 15 and 65 to live strong, rich lives!</p>
<p>Proud Grandma</p>
Staff
2013-10-02T18:15:00Z
It Is Okay to Be a Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Is-Okay-to-Be-a-Mom/-95445683996592669.html
2013-10-01T18:15:00Z
2013-10-01T18:15:00Z
<br />
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Thank you for changing my life. I have listened to you since 1993. I am now 41 years old and am a stay-at-home mom of two delicious boys.</p>
<p>When I was pregnant with my firstborn, I worked and listened to you. I was on three waiting lists for day care - and didn't think to consider quitting my job to stay at home. I had a difficult pregnancy and when they finally handed him to me, it was KABLAMMY!! I fell in love. As soon as I left the hospital, I quit my job, and took myself off the day care lists.</p>
<p>My son was not an easy baby. He had severe colic, often crying for two hours straight usually around 3pm. Back then, I would listen to you on AM radio and during that time, HE wouldn't cry. I think he was used to your voice, since he'd heard it while he was in my growing belly.</p>
<p>Why I'm telling you this is very important. I believe had he been in a day care, he would have been a shaken baby. His crying was so lengthy each day, sometimes I would have to put him down in his crib at hour two because I just couldn't take it any longer. At other times, when my husband would walk through the door, I'd hand him the baby and have myself a good cry in the shower.</p>
<p>He is now nine years old and is smart, thoughtful, and quiet! When my husband and I reminisce about him as a baby we say "He was a terrible baby, but a terrific boy".</p>
<p>When I hear of stories of babies being hurt or dead at a babysitter's hands I think back of how lucky I am to be able to stay home with my son. Thank you for telling me it was OKAY to be a mom. Since then, I have helped several pregnant women make the decision to quit their jobs and stay home with their babies.</p>
<p>With much appreciation,</p>
<p>Linhda</p>
Staff
2013-10-01T18:15:00Z
Rules at Grandparents' House
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Rules-at-Grandparents-House/-733014530927032877.html
2013-09-30T18:35:00Z
2013-09-30T18:35:00Z
<br />
<p>In response to the caller whose daughter was asking to see her grandparents every day, I listened to your cute story about telling your son you would allow your grandchildren to do all the things he was asking to do. It reminded me of a story about my son when he was 4 1/2. He loved going to his grandparents' home (my parents), and every time I'd pick him up to go back to our house, he would have a crying, begging episode: crying about having to leave their house, begging to stay with them, etc. And always in front of them! At 4 1/2, I'd finally had enough. We got in the car with his crying and begging, and I started in on my lecture. I told him he was a big boy now, and this behavior was unacceptable. He was old enough to understand that he lived at OUR house, that he was VISITING his grandparents, and that these visits did in fact END. The moment I ended my speech, he immediately stopped the crying, wailing, etc., turned to me and said very calmly, "Mama, if I didn't cry and beg to stay with them, it would hurt their feelings SO MUCH."</p>
<p>I was flabbergasted that my 4-year-old had this kind of insight and understanding. From that point on, I let him carry on, and sure enough it ended in due course. He's now 35 and still amazes me with his insight. Never under estimate the 4-year-old!</p>
<p>Shirley</p>
Staff
2013-09-30T18:35:00Z
Husband and Wife Board Meetings
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Husband-and-Wife-Board-Meetings/646222556599915448.html
2013-09-27T18:00:00Z
2013-09-27T18:00:00Z
<br />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am almost finished reading <em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>. The impact of your advice and instruction is immediate and wonderful! I thought we already had a good thing going, but now my husband is beaming ALL of the time!</p>
<p>One thing my husband and I practice which keeps us on a strong path is our "board meeting" in bed every morning. One of us gets coffee and brings it back to bed, we talk, snuggle, often make love, and connect even if only briefly, or maybe for an hour! It lets us bond well at least once that day, before all the business of life starts, and it is a very important time for us. Also, we are rested and energetic, so being too tired for sex at the END of the day isn't an issue. Yes, it means setting the alarm earlier, but it is well worth it. My husband starts out every "board meeting" the same way, snuggled into my neck he tells me how much he loves me, that I am beautiful and that I am wonderful. What a way to start every day!</p>
<p>Thank you for your help and insight. You have impacted our lives in a very meaningful way.</p>
<p>All the best,</p>
<p>Barb</p>
Staff
2013-09-27T18:00:00Z
We Moms Have Lots in Common
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Moms-Have-Lots-in-Common/363737736890907619.html
2013-09-26T18:15:00Z
2013-09-26T18:15:00Z
<br />
<p>Hi Dr. L.,</p>
<p>I have a son the same age as yours - my only son, too. I've listened to you since he was around 7 years old. Through the years I've learned so much from you and saw many things we have in common in the mothering department. So much is just plain, old common sense. What could be more important than your child?!</p>
<p>There was no way someone else was going to "care" for my son except ME, his loving mom. He never set foot in a day care ever. I was definitely in the minority, but wore my mommyhood proud. I started to realize that people thought I thought he was better than anyone else. That wasn't the case. I just made him most important and a top priority. They didn't do that with their child so what else could they satisfy their guilt with then looking down at me? It didn't bother me a bit. It just made me more convinced I was doing the right thing.</p>
<p>Your commentary on mama's boys made me email you. I hear your love, your pride and the respect you have for your son and it warms my heart as I feel it too for my wonderful son. When I was spending my time putting my child before working, we lived on beans at times, but it was so worth it! I heard people comment that I was raising a mama's boy, but I knew it wasn't true. Having a son who loves his mom and likes to spend time with her doesn't make him a mama's boy. I raised a man. He couldn't be further from being a mama's boy.</p>
<p>He married a woman who I couldn't have done a better job building myself as a perfect wife for him. I adore and love that girl to pieces. We spend every Monday together exercising. Last week, I asked her if he told her they were coming for dinner the next evening and she said, "No." I said to her, "Doesn't that make you crazy?" She said, "No, he does so many good things I don't let THAT bother me". I loved her answer! What a wonderful choice he made! I remember raising him with the thought of making him a good husband. He is so kind, compassionate, loving and strong. His In-laws couldn't love him more. That too is a huge blessing. Yes, his mother-in-law gets to spend more time with him via her daughter, but I know I'm his one and only mom, his biggest fan and he loves his mom.</p>
<p>Thank you for letting me boast on my boy - the most important job I've ever had. The confidence I instilled in him gives me the same confidence. I absolutely love that son of mine. I AM my kid's mom. You have been like a friend and a real encouragement thru the years.</p>
<p>Thank you,</p>
<p>Robin</p>
Staff
2013-09-26T18:15:00Z
The Wife I Never Dreamed I Would Be
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Wife-I-Never-Dreamed-I-Would-Be/-281606791246438699.html
2013-09-25T20:19:00Z
2013-09-25T20:19:00Z
<br />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I started listening to you about a year before I got married. My best friend was reading <em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>, and I laughed when I saw it on her nightstand. I thought "Why do I need to FEED my husband? This is stupid, and not for me." But she encouraged me to start listening to you - what a great best friend.</p>
<p>I didn't REALLY understand what it meant to be a wife, even though I was engaged with a ring and a date. Luckily I had a job where I was in my car a lot, and I caught your show in the nick of time. What I thought it meant to be a wife was SO far from what you preach and nag women to be! I learned that being sweet and adorable is key to being a wife; that nagging is obnoxious and doesn't work; and that the MOST important part is to always be a girlfriend. The things we do, the hard work we put in to being girlfriends should not stop just because we got married. Always encourage your husband, shower him with affection and intimacy, and he will want to come home to you at the end of the day instead of to a bar with his buddies. I honestly do not know what type of wife I would be if I wouldn't have found you. I have many friends and family members who treat their husbands terribly, and it pains me to see this.</p>
<p>Thank you for nagging me every day via the podcasts; reminding me to be his girlfriend. I will end this with my favorite quote you stated, that I have written down in my bedroom, "Make the choice to wake up each day looking over at your spouse with a smile on your face. Make their day worthwhile, and make them lucky that they are married to YOU."</p>
<p>Erin</p>
Staff
2013-09-25T20:19:00Z
I Am Not Your Babysitter!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Am-Not-Your-Babysitter!/983648526259378443.html
2013-09-24T18:15:00Z
2013-09-24T18:15:00Z
<br />
<p>Hi, Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>I am a huge fan of yours and wanted to share something with you. Recently I heard you take a call from a stay-at-home mom who was babysitting a working mom's kid for free. I too stay at home with my kids, and have happily for 6 years now.</p>
<p>About a year ago I struck up a friendship with a mom of one of my son's friends. She and her husband both worked full time, and it wasn't long before she was asking me to babysit her son. I agreed, thinking, one time is no big deal. Well, one time turned into several times, until it hit me, "Why am I taking valuable time away from my family so I can watch your child so you can 'work'?" I thought about what you would do, and that day when she came to pick up her son, I politely told her I would no longer be babysitting him. I had other things to do, as well as a baby on the way. And wouldn't you know, Dr Laura, after that day I never saw or heard from her again! Talk about being used!</p>
<p>Thank you for the RESPECT you show toward stay-at-home moms, and for giving value to motherhood in a world that doesn't. Your advice has really given me the back bone I need to always take pride in doing the right thing!</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Julia</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2013-09-24T18:15:00Z
Reminder to Keep Your Spouse a Priority
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Reminder-to-Keep-Your-Spouse-a-Priority/-291748603455524897.html
2013-09-23T18:15:00Z
2013-09-23T18:15:00Z
<br />
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My husband and I have been together for six years. This past June, we welcomed our first son into the family. My husband and I were both overjoyed to have a baby, but in the first few tiring weeks with a newborn, I noticed things I swore I would never do starting to take over. Getting used to be a stay-at-home mom with a newborn was very difficult! I work from home and trying to juggle that with keeping up on housework was making me stressed beyond belief. Before I knew it my husband and I were bickering more and a distance began to grow.</p>
<p>I was extremely frustrated with his shortness with me and I felt discouraged. We both had waited for a baby and were so happy to have him that I never thought it would adversely affect our marriage.</p>
<p>A few weeks ago, I thought of all the Dr. Laura shows I had listened to, and all the advice you had given. I decided to implement a new rule. Everyday after my husband leaves for work, we text each other a few things we love, admire or are attracted to about the other person. We started this three weeks ago and since then our marriage has become SO much stronger! We both go to bed with a smile every night - yes, even with a fussy 2.5 month old. And I have gone back to being his girlfriend. We speak to each other with kindness and are physically closer than ever. The house isn't always perfect, but our son is happy, and we are more in love than I ever thought possible.</p>
<p>Thank you for your no-nonsense advice, and the reminder to keep your spouse a priority regardless of what changes in your lives together.</p>
<p>Wishing you 100 more years on the air,</p>
<p>Kelly</p>
Staff
2013-09-23T18:15:00Z
Grateful for my Strong Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Grateful-for-my-Strong-Husband/-106042139964204527.html
2013-09-20T18:15:00Z
2013-09-20T18:15:00Z
<br />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I wanted to share something that happened on a recent vacation with my husband of 30 years.</p>
<p>We were enjoying a 21 mile bike ride on a wilderness trail on Grand Island in Michigan’s Lake Superior. It was our first real vacation without our 4 now-grown kids. The trail was rugged and challenging as it hugged the rocky cliffs of this beautiful island near the Pictured Rock National Lakeshore. After 10 miles, we stopped for lunch at a deserted sandy beach and swam in the refreshing water. The beauty of the area, the joy of the moment, and the peace we felt with each other and nature was an incredible feeling to share with my husband.</p>
<p>As we walked back to our bikes to complete the remainder 11 miles, we heard my husband’s bike tire burst. For an instant I felt the peace we were experiencing would be shattered and old, genetic habits would fill the serene surroundings. I was pleased and proud of my husband’s will-power at that moment and the rest of the afternoon. After just one swear word he hopped on his bike and said, “I’m riding it like this,” and off he went. I kept quiet and followed behind. It was an incredibly challenging ride over roots, rocks and mud with two good tires. My husband was doing it on one and standing up the entire way. After a few miles in, I started to compliment him for his perseverance. Being a camp counselor in my youth, I told him he definitely would be getting a Good Sportsmanship Award. I could sense his appreciation in every positive word I said. I continued encouraging him and sharing how impressed I was with his determination. My husband did not want to ruin our fantastic bike trip and was willing to do whatever it took to continue to lead the way. It was like a metaphor of our vows. He would do whatever necessary, no matter how tough and tiring it was to be a good husband to me.</p>
<p>I have loved this man for 30 plus years, but never until that afternoon had I seen that level of strength and empowerment. Perhaps I hadn’t looked or had been too busy with our children, but on that day I knew then that he could handle anything that would come before us in the next stage of our lives. I felt safe, loved, cherished and grateful to have this man as my husband and the father of our four kids. I spent 11 miles smiling that I had chosen wisely many years ago.</p>
<p>We shared a beautiful evening together and when we returned home the first thing I did was get him a new tire for his bike. I can’t wait for our next trip!</p>
<p>Thank you for your show and your books. They have helped turn a good marriage into something spectacular!</p>
<p>With sincere gratitude,</p>
<p>Kathy</p>
<br />
Staff
2013-09-20T18:15:00Z
'I Wish You Were My Mom' Changed My Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Wish-You-Were-My-Mom-Changed-My-Life/271550577816028536.html
2013-09-19T18:15:00Z
2013-09-19T18:15:00Z
<br />I have been listening to your show since I was a child riding in my stay-at-home mother’s car. You were a guiding light for my mom.<br /><br />My husband and I have a 1 ½ year old little girl. After she was born, I knew I should be staying home with her, but tuned you and my conscience out. I thought that simply reducing my working hours was enough, because she would be with my mother-in-law and not in day care. I was haunted by my choice. And even though I was still spending more time at home than most working moms, I was miserable. I couldn’t listen to your radio show anymore and I couldn’t discuss the topic with my mother. <br /><br />I am a high school teacher but work for an educational program that seeks to help teens who would be first generation in their family to attend college. I work with the same group of kids for four years and I know how profound a difference there is between children with a parent who raised them as opposed to a day care. Each summer these kids attend a 6 week program, and during that time my work hours are 6am to 9pm. A girl in our program sat next to me one evening and said, “I wish you were my mom. Your daughter is really lucky.” I couldn’t respond. All I could think was, “No, honey, if I was your mom you would never see me because I would be here.” With that thought running through my mind I left the room, called my husband and in tears told him I couldn’t do this anymore, and I resigned shortly thereafter.<br /><br />It has been a month since that phone call and here is how my life has changed: I took a vacation to be with my family. My husband and I looked at our finances to see what we would trim so I could stay home. I amped up my small at-home business and realized I could still make an income during nap time and in the evenings. My husband has said how proud he is of me, that he loves me, and that I’m doing the right thing.<br /> <br />Thank you for being the voice that my mother listened to, and thank you for being the voice my husband and I needed to hear.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br />Tracy <br />(My Husband's Girlfriend and My Daughter's Mother)<br />
Staff
2013-09-19T18:15:00Z
An Eye Opener to Being Happy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/An-Eye-Opener-to-Being-Happy/22135661022710818.html
2013-09-18T21:28:00Z
2013-09-18T21:28:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I'd like to thank you for helping me open my eyes after reading your book "Bad Childhood, Good Life". Unfortunately, I have spent too many years of my life being the adult victim of my childhood. Negative-Nelly would be an understatement. After realizing it was affecting my marriage and my children, I took a big look in the mirror and decided it was me who needed to make the change. I downloaded your book and sought counseling - not to fix the past, but to look at myself and how I was going to move forward. <br /><br />I have been making great strides, I have become my husband's girlfriend again and my children's mom. I would have never thought that by just changing my own attitude changed so many of the things that used to drive me nuts. Who knew it could be so easy to be happy and have the ones you love the most to be happy as well. I saw exactly why with my own eyes yesterday while sitting on a plane for nine hours. I was lucky enough to be behind a woman who acted in many ways as I used too. I don't think I heard one positive word out of her mouth the entire nine hours. The plane was not able to leave due to weather, radio tower and other issues all of which we had no control over. In the past, I would have acted just like this woman - disappointed that I wasn't getting home to my children as soon as I had hoped. But watching how she behaved reaffirmed to me that all the complaining and yelling wasn't going to get me home sooner to my kiddos and definitely wasn't going to make me a better girlfriend or mom. Man, did I used to be a B*&^%! <br /><br />The new me decided to take this as an opportunity to spend more time with my husband and reminisce about our great weekend. The best part though was hearing him tell me on our way home from the airport that he was proud of me. I knew what he was saying without him saying anything else. It made me feel so good and proud to be his girlfriend. It's hard to realize that you may actually be the one person standing in your own way of being happy. I am doing the tough work to change and I am enjoying the benefits. <br /><br />Thank you for writing a great book that helped me open my eyes and for all your advice!<br /><br />Signed,<br /><br />New and improved girlfriend and mom, Caroline
Staff
2013-09-18T21:28:00Z
A Few Giggles Make a Huge Difference
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Few-Giggles-Make-a-Huge-Difference/-65464811780913371.html
2013-09-17T19:00:00Z
2013-09-17T19:00:00Z
<br />Dearest Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I called you several weeks ago with a question about how to be more calm with my children and less like the Hulk. Your response to me was to have more fun in my day. After the phone call, I was perplexed for a few days about what that had to do with my problem and also to how your solution was to make Jello with my husband and pour it over each others heads (in which I would have to inevitably have to clean up the mess) would solve my problem, however… <br /><br />After speaking about it with one of my sisters she agreed with you and suggested a "fun box" to help me do something fun with my children and husband on a daily basis! After incorporating this idea, I then understood how brilliant and profound your simple piece of advice was to me. I found myself being more aware and present in my family's lives and not just finding the chore out of situations...I started finding simple joys and happiness. With my husband, I came up with silly and quick things we could do to have a little giggle and these simple couple of minutes make a huge difference in our day together - something as simple as a push-up or water drinking contest! He pretends to roll his eyes, but after our "fun" activity I notice how his mood has changed. <br /><br />So Dr. L, thanks for being able to see the big picture and being a strong voice of virtue when in our day and age, that voice is often ridiculed and considered unimportant! To me it is so important so thank you for that Dr. Laura voice in my head! I just signed up for your podcast and cannot get enough! <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Alyson<br />
Staff
2013-09-17T19:00:00Z
At What Age Should a Child Move Out?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/At-What-Age-Should-a-Child-Move-Out/-775562292760418963.html
2013-09-16T18:40:00Z
2013-09-16T18:40:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I would like to share with you a conversation that happened at my home yesterday. I was cooking dinner listening to you as I do most days. My 6-year-old son was upstairs, but could hear you telling a caller it was time for his 20-year-old son to move out from their home. My son immediately came down and said that this was just so wrong. I asked him why he felt that way. He went on to tell me, "If you still love your Mom and Dad, that you should be able to live with them until you save up enough money to buy you own house." My husband tried to explain to him that kids should move out from their parents' home between the ages of 18-20. My 6-year-old told him that he felt the age of 46 would be about right. I told my husband just to let him be. You see, Dr. Laura, as a stay-at-home mom to two boys, I know that he will realize this once he gets a little older. I know that my 6-year-old feels this way, because I have been with him everyday of his life, so he can't imagine a day without his dad and I not being with him. And at age six, I am okay with that. <br /><br />Keep up the advice because I know for me, you are my moral compass. And by the way, my 6-year-old now calls himself Dr. Trent and said people can also call him if they need advice. It looks like if you decide to retire, you have a replacement. <br /><br />Natalie<br />
Staff
2013-09-16T18:40:00Z
Lotion, Vaseline, and Tortillas
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lotion,-Vaseline,-and-Tortillas/389196435056604236.html
2013-09-13T18:00:00Z
2013-09-13T18:00:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I am 28 and my wife and I have 4 children, 3 years old and under. While some call my wife Fertile Myrtle, it probably doesn't help that I am Ready Freddy!<br /><br />We have a son who is 3 years old, two 2-year-old fraternal twins and a 3-week-old son. My wife has been sleeping with the newborn in the extra room. The 3-year-old and 2-year-old boys share a room. They go through spells of waking up and coming downstairs once an hour for a week every month or so. I take them upstairs and put them back in bed as much as necessary.<br /><br />This morning after taking them back upstairs several times both me and my wife decided to risk sleeping in a little bit. At about 7:30am when we decided to wake up, we couldn't find our daughter. Typically she is busy screaming and squealing due to her brothers jumping on her or taking her dolls.<br /><br />My wife went upstairs to find her. She discovered our daughter had found the lotion and Vaseline and was scooping them onto all 50 tortillas spread all over the play room. I was still downstairs when I heard, "WHAT IN THE HECK IS GOING ON UP HERE!" Then I heard a small voice answer, "I making quesadillas, Mom."<br /><br />I tell these stories to friends and get scoffed at with things like "Haven't you ever heard of birth control?" or "You must be crazy to have more than one!" It makes me sad to think that people would rather not have these fun moments to look back on. With only ten more kids to be had I feel like my 84 grandchildren will be easily obtained before I am 60.<br /><br />Have a great day and "Ma'am" someone for me.<br /><br />Chase<br /><br />
Staff
2013-09-13T18:00:00Z
What a MAN!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-a-MAN!/-20709726460578755.html
2013-09-12T18:20:00Z
2013-09-12T18:20:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I have just put my 3 kids (5,3, and 11 months) to bed. After they settle in, I will finish picking up my house, get cleaned up, and wait for my husband to get home from work. He started his bus route at 6 this morning, then went directly to supervise in school suspension at the high school. While he was there he worked on his Sunday morning sermon for his job at the local church. After school was over, he drove the bus again, rushed back to his car and drove to his job as a waiter. He will get home tonight around 1am. In case you lost count, my husband worked FOUR jobs today! <br /><br />Meanwhile, I walked my son to and from school, talked to him about how his day was, cleaned house, played with my daughters, had a movie night, and did some snuggling. I know there are people out there who would tell me I am awful to make my husband do all of that work while I "sit around and do nothing", but I wouldn't have it any other way. And more importantly, HE wouldn't have it any other way. I married a man who understands the value of having Mom home with his kids and he is willing to do whatever it takes to make sure that happens.<br /><br />I am often told by other moms they just can't afford to stay home with their kids, but I simply point at my MAN and remind them that if they make it a priority, they can make it happen.<br /><br />We don't drive fancy cars or have the nicest clothes. My kids don't have the newest and best toys. But they have something much more important. They have a mommy who is at home with them to love them every day and a dad who gives them an amazing example of what a real man looks like.<br /><br />Thank you for encouraging men to be men and to take care of their families. <br /><br />Amy <br /><br />
Staff
2013-09-12T18:20:00Z
Being an Optimist Helps Me with the Lemons
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-an-Optimist-Helps-Me-with-the-Lemons/169314748774115957.html
2013-09-11T18:00:00Z
2013-09-11T18:00:00Z
<br />Maybe because I'm happily over 50 yrs old, I've discovered being an optimist helps me at all costs! When a curve ball comes a fly' in, my ability to deflect damage has been due to my "flexibility" roll with the punches. It's a game I didn't ask for, but with three adult "kids" and two granddaughters, I'll take it! <br /><br />Back in the 60's there was a Lynn Anderson song that taught me something: "I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden. Along with the sunshine, there's gotta be a little rain sometimes"… Phew, a life mantra in the making right there! Honestly, in this day and age, I don't know what I would do without my ability to make lemonade out of lemons. Trust me, I drink an awful lot of lemonade! <br /><br />I 'm leaving out the most important human in my life - my husband - without whom I never would have this philosophy! We have been married almost 32 years and many of which were far from perfect!! That being said, he has always been my rock! For instance, every morning before heading to work (we own our own business), he always says, "Make some body's day today!" Wow! If you actually try to do that and take your eyes off yourself, amazing things happen!<br /><br />Melissa
Staff
2013-09-11T18:00:00Z
Walking My Child Into Her Class
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Walking-My-Child-Into-Her-Class/155337113374198048.html
2013-09-10T18:00:00Z
2013-09-10T18:00:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />My daughter will soon be 8 years old. When I take her to elementary school, regardless of what my schedule holds that day, I always walk her into her class. I carry her backpack, open her car door, and open the door to her classroom. We hold hands and at times walk along the curbs, balancing with our arms out. I surprise her at lunch once a week when my schedule affords the time. I pick her up as soon as school is over. We go on adventures as often as possible to fun and interesting places and so far we have done hundreds of them in her life.<br /><br />We get to school early because traffic can on occasionally make us late. When we get there early, we sit in the car and listen to her CDs and talk and discuss her thoughts about whatever is important to her that day.<br /><br />Most, but not all, of the mom's who take their kids to our school drop them off, but do not walk them in. Most, but not all, of the dads walk their kids into class. I see many moms who bring school-age kids and preschool kids just drop them off at the curb. <br /><br />I think that I am a much better father because I am older. I would have been a marginal father had I had kids in my 20s or 30s because I was too focused on my career. I think it is sad that so many parents, (mothers in particular because they tend to be the primary care givers at home) have no sense of being a parent. It is virtually impossible to come across what I would deem to be a good mom... Moms that I run into are not playful, not interested, not engaged, not thoughtful, and not patient. It is discouraging to listen to them talk about their children and what a burden their children are.<br /><br />When I hear them talk about childrearing I am reminded of a Mark Twain quote...<br />
<blockquote>"It's not what you don't know that makes you a fool, it's what you know that ain't so."</blockquote>
<br />I'm not sure how you manage each day. You must be frustrated with parenting skills presented. Thank you for your perseverance. Generally, I learn something new each day that I can apply to my life. As you teach me, I teach my daughter, and so it goes...<br /><br />William
Staff
2013-09-10T18:00:00Z
I Couldn't Accept My Mother-in-Law's Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Couldnt-Accept-My-Mother-in-Laws-Love/-161866014970224518.html
2013-09-09T18:00:00Z
2013-09-09T18:00:00Z
<br />Well, I could have been a whole chapter in your upcoming book about in-laws. <br /><br />My daughter will be a 1 year old in a few weeks. I am/was the daughter-in-law from hell...secretly. I despised my mother-in-law once I was pregnant. I love my husband, but I couldn't stand his parents. I cringed at every text, every email, but was nice to their faces. They live about 6 hours away, but that was too close because they could drive and spend 4 days every 2 months "locked" in our house with us. I have felt so claustrophobic with them around. I became possessive over my daughter. I didn't like anything my mother-in-law said or did. I positioned it as me against them, and I ALWAYS won.<br /><br />I have felt like a dragon and I would breathe fire and destroy her. I have wished horrible things. I have lost control. I have become crazy.<br /><br />But in my heart, I just knew I couldn't keep up this whole hatred charade. I mean, I could have a heart attack or develop some horrible disease because of all the nastiness I have festered. When they were about to come to visit, I actually got physically sick - cold sores, stomach aches, etc.<br /><br />I recently started listening to your podcasts again and BAM! A few calls you have taken have opened my eyes to what I've been doing. The issue is not about her at all -- it's about me. Yea, she says stupid things sometimes and wants to hog my baby...but that's a pretty natural thing for a grandmother to do.<br /><br />My "aha" moment was when I realized that I put MY mother on a pedestal. I realized I wanted my children to love MY parents best. There I said it. But the reality is my mom doesn't really have time for us. She rarely answers her phone or responds to pictures and videos I send of my daughter. But here my mother-in-law is, trying so hard to be a part of our life, answering every text, calling, Skyping, buying gifts, etc. And I've been rejecting her. I wanted her to leave us alone!<br /><br />I realized I've been directing the anger at the wrong person: an innocent person. She just wants to show her granddaughter love, part of her life, teach her things, and be her FAMILY.<br /> <br />My husband has been the best. He's stood by my side and let me work through this. He's defended his parents, but also heard me out. He is such a good man. And that is in large part because his parents. My in-laws did an awesome job at raising him. Why wouldn't I want them to play a big part in our children's lives? I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders because I don't have this big job of rejecting LOVE from my in-laws anymore.<br /><br />I don't have to create my original family - I didn't have involved grandparents. My mom raised us alone essentially - my dad was working so much and wasn't really there. I don't have to do everything alone. I chose a good man with a healthy family. I need to open my heart to the love they are trying to give!<br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Adreann, the recovering mother-in-law-hater
Staff
2013-09-09T18:00:00Z
Rather Be Adored Than Endured
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Rather-Be-Adored-Than-Endured/-248753527780198895.html
2013-09-06T18:00:00Z
2013-09-06T18:00:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /> <br />Twenty-three years ago, I married the man I love. I chose wisely. He's honorable, kind, loving, hard working and a wonderful father to our children. He still treats me like his new bride. We're one of those couples who are so happily married and close. People often tell me how lucky I am. This has nothing to do with luck. It's true that he's such a man of honor, I could've been a crappy wife and he'd probably stay around because of our vows and his sense of duty to our children. But early on, I've lived by a motto-"I'd rather be adored than endured". I'm not perfect-I have bad moods and faults like most people. But I love to make him happy. I love to take care of him. I pick up his dirty clothes every morning, and make sure he has clean clothes to wear. This may outrage feminists, but I love to wait on my husband at meal and snack time, and clean up after him. He'd do anything I asked him to do to help, but I rarely ask because it's one of the ways I show my love and appreciation for him. I like our home to be a haven. I try to make sure he comes home to a tidy house and a wife and children who are happy to see him. I make special efforts to look nice for him. I often give him foot massages when he gets home from work and back massages as he drifts off to sleep. He works so hard to provide for us. I regularly tell him how much I appreciate the way he takes care of us, and admire the man he is. He's a man who loves sports and although I don't, I make sure he has time to watch them or play them because I know that helps him relax from his work. <br /> <br />I understand his sexual needs, and do my best to meet them. I'm thrilled he's so attracted to me that he wants me so much after 23 years. I love to see that look in his eyes. And though I may not be in the "mood" nearly as much as he is and at times feel tired-I take it as an opportunity to show him how much I love him and love being close to him. I'd never want him to think his desire for me is a nuisance.<br /> <br />And I, as his adored wife, have a husband who treats me like a princess. He loves to make me happy. He never complains if dinner isn't cooked or the house isn't cleaned, etc. He supports and encourages me in whatever I want to do. He tells me how much he loves me and shows appreciation for the things I do. He opens doors for me, pulls out my chair, is my valet in rain, and takes care of anything heavy, smelly, yucky, creepy or scary. And yes, I have no doubt he'd lay down his life for me.<br /> <br />I'm so saddened by all the calls from women who think being a great wife is a burden, and treat their husbands like the opposing team. Sadly, I've known many women like that, and good men who were treated badly and unappreciated. I don't know why any woman would rather be endured than adored. I love being adored by my husband.<br /> <br />Signed, <br /> <br />Gaye, an adorable wife
Staff
2013-09-06T18:00:00Z
Living with a Birth Defect
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Living-with-a-Birth-Defect/160615004396436305.html
2013-09-05T18:00:00Z
2013-09-05T18:00:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />In September, my husband and I will have been married for four years. He and I have both listened to you for years. I knew he was a good man when I married him, and over time I have come to appreciate him more and more, but most profoundly in the last three months.<br /><br />We have a precious daughter who just turned two, and the joy my husband has being a father has been wonderful to see. He loves to dance with her, play and tumble, hike, and swim in the waves at the beach. He has always loved the outdoors and physical sports and now loves to share that with her. He is a born coach.<br /><br />I had our second daughter in April. It was a healthy pregnancy, but she came a few weeks early. When I went into labor, the doctors discovered she was breech and after trying unsuccessfully to turn her, I had to have an emergency C-section. When she was born, my husband got to see her first and I knew from his face that something was wrong. He did not want to worry me while I was in surgery, but the doctors only showed me my daughter briefly wrapped in a blanket before taking her to the NICU for "observation". After the surgery was complete, my husband told me that one of her legs was shorter than the other. To be honest, I was so worried about the attempts to turn her and the surgery, that I was relieved it was nothing more serious. He was shaken up badly though.<br /><br />We learned she was born without her left femur. Nothing was detected in the prenatal care to indicate this was a possibility, so it was a complete shock to us both. As I recovered in the hospital, I went online to search about her condition. I was appalled at what I found. Most of the blogs from parents talked about "How will this affect MY life?" "Should I abort?" "What will people think about ME?" "Why me? Why ME? WHY ME?"<br /><br />Never once in the last three months has my husband asked "Why me?" He has been so strong and so selfless. Through everything he has been a source of comfort and strength. I know he worries for our daughter. He worries she will be teased, she will be embarrassed, she might not be able to enjoy the world physically the way he and my older daughter do. But all of his worries are about her and her quality of life, not himself. She will face challenges I cannot possibly predict, but I know he will be the best man to teach her to meet those challenges with strength and confidence. He will demand she settle for nothing less than her best effort, while encouraging her with his patience and joy. We will face the future together as a family, and take it one challenge at a time. If he ever does ask, "Why me?" I have the answer: It is because she will need to have the love and strength that only comes from a good father, and that he is the best man to be her daddy.<br /><br />Thank you for all that you do, and your advice to "choose wisely." I know I did.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Ashlee
Staff
2013-09-05T18:00:00Z
Mother-in-Law
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mother-in-Law/131684662333184437.html
2013-09-03T18:00:00Z
2013-09-03T18:00:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Have the past few weeks of calls been about crazy mother-in-laws or am I just being sensitive to them? AND then to hear your son may have found the one and you discuss your role in their relationship, I had to share with you something I did based on what I had learned by being a long time listener. <br /><br />When my son was married, I knew our relationship would change. I was up to date on the happenings in his life, we communicated regularly - several times a week at least, and he asked advice about stuff fairly often. <br /><br />But I made a plan - an outward effort of an inward heart issue. At the rehearsal dinner, I wore this really cute apron with the word Mom across the top. I had put together pictures from being pregnant with him, to current day and ran it on the screen to a song I sang to him as a child called "Apron Strings". I then talked about how I was taking my new role behind he and his wife, and that he had new obligations and allegiances and I was great with that. I then took a pair of scissors out of the pocket of the apron and to the gasps and sighs of our guests, I cut the apron strings and presented them to my new daughter-in-law. "He was tied to mine for almost 30 years. Now, I cut these and present them to you. May you both bring each other peace and happiness and abundant love, and my prayer is that I never forget my place in your life." <br /><br />I did this after listening to your program for years and hearing the complaining from mothers who had never learned to let go. I'm happy to say after 18 months of marriage, my daughter-in-law still seems to love me, calls me for recipes and advice and I seem to be doing ok. No grandchildren yet, and no signs of getting ready for any, but if you can keep a secret; I'm already using one of the spare bedrooms in our house and secretly decorating it in my head. C'mon they're 31 and 30, they have to make a move here shortly right?!<br /><br />Life is good when you acknowledge your place and role in it. <br /><br />Love you Dr. Laura, you've taught me how not to be stupid! <br /><br />Susan<br />
Staff
2013-09-03T18:00:00Z
Rumors - A Poem
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Rumors---A-Poem/83505631488801561.html
2013-08-30T22:11:00Z
2013-08-30T22:11:00Z
<p class="yiv1550624894msonormal"> </p>
<p class="yiv1550624894msonormal">Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv1550624894msonormal">Years ago on the radio, you mentioned an old Jewish story about rumors and forgiveness. I was struck by its simplicity and never forgot the message. Now, I have a granddaughter who wants so desperately to be in the "in group" yet, they are poison. They say things about others not knowing the harm they do. For that reason, I put the story you told into a poem.</p>
<p class="yiv1550624894msonormal"><strong>Rumors</strong></p>
You have said bad things about me<br />That's left stains upon my name.<br />Someday you'll want to take them back<br />So to take away your pain.<br /><br />Your rumors about me were so wicked<br />They cut clean through to my heart.<br />Forgiveness will not come easy<br />But I will tell you where to start.<br /><br />Rumors are like a thousand feathers<br />Lies cast off into the wind.<br />They'll blow throughout the world<br />Perhaps, never to be seen again.<br /><br />When someone sees the tiny feather<br />And questions what they should do.<br />They'll not know how to take it,<br />So they'll assume your lies are true.<br /><br />I will forget your wicked ways<br />And forgive you of this dark sin.<br />Until you walk the entire earth<br />And return each feather again.<br /><br />The poem is copyrighted in the Collection of Poems, by Bing Spitler. Permission granted for use on the Dr. Laura program.
<p class="yiv1550624894msonormal"> </p>
Staff
2013-08-30T22:11:00Z
One of Those Moms
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/One-of-Those-Moms/751246633260907449.html
2013-08-29T20:34:00Z
2013-08-29T20:34:00Z
<p class="yiv1550624894msonormal"> </p>
<p class="yiv1550624894msonormal">Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv1550624894msonormal">I want to share an enlightening conversation I had over the summer while sitting on a bench watching my kids play in the water splash area at my neighborhood park. A woman sighed and turned towards me and said, "Whew aren't you glad the summer is almost over and the kids go back to school?" I replied, "No actually, I'm sad summer is almost over." She had a puzzled look on her face when she asked me, "Why would you be sad?" I smiled and said "I'm sad because I'm going to miss my son and daughter and all the fun we have had together." She looked puzzled again and said, "Well my nanny has been sick for three weeks. My house is a noisy and messy. I can't wait to have my life back!" "Get your life back, aren't your kids the biggest part of your life along with your husband?", I questioned. Again, the puzzled face appeared. "You at least put your kids in summer camps?", she questioned. I replied, "Well if you count 'mommy' time as a camp, then yes." "You mean you spent the entire summer with them? What did you do with them that was fun? Weren't you exhausted?" she asked. I was confused why she kept pushing me, as if waiting for me to give in, make her feel better about her not wanting to simply enjoy the minutes, the hours, the days of spending time with her kids. It was obvious she was the "parent fill in" until the nanny wasn't sick anymore and could relieve her from this awful situation of having to spend time with her own kids. I wanted to just get up and not bother with the conversation but instead I calmly said</p>
<blockquote>
<p class="yiv1550624894msonormal">"Yes sometimes I get exhausted spending all day with them. But if I didn't get exhausted I would be doing something wrong! I didn't let my kids sit on the couch all day and watch videos, or play video games or whatever electronic device to "entertain" my kids. No instead, I had fun each day coming up with different adventures. Sometimes trying out a new park or place to eat lunch was fun. Sometimes, splashing in puddles on our bikes after a long summer rain was fun. I taught my kids how to do a flip in the pool. Even going to the grocery store to get ingredients to make a homemade pizza was fun. An Art project made out of old cardboard boxes and having a lemonade stand was fun. Building obstacles courses in our backyard was fun. Being my kid's life size doll where they choose my clothes, accessories, and did my hair and makeup was fun."</p>
</blockquote>
<p class="yiv1550624894msonormal">I could have gone on and on, but her puzzled face was tiring to look at. "Oh, you are one of those types of moms," she replied sassily. I proudly responded, "Yes I am, and I'm sorry you don't see any fun in that," I then walked away.</p>
<p class="yiv1550624894msonormal">Clearly, she sat next to the "wrong" mom that day in the park. That night, I came home, played checkers with my kids and made dinner for my family. That night after my husband and I put the kids down, I told him about the conversation I had in the park and then gave him a big long kiss and told him thank you for working so hard for our family so I could be "one of those moms!"</p>
<p class="yiv1550624894msonormal">Dr. Laura, thank you for your continued RESPECT and support you have for stay at home moms. If anyone is questioning whether or not to stay at home and raise their children instead of a nanny, they should read your book, "In Praise of Stay at Home Moms." </p>
<p class="yiv1550624894msonormal">Sincerely,</p>
<p class="yiv1550624894msonormal">Heidi</p>
<p class="yiv1550624894msonormal">I am my kids' mom and my hubby's girlfriend</p>
Staff
2013-08-29T20:34:00Z
What It Takes to Create a Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-It-Takes-to-Create-a-Family/-112066699112179558.html
2013-08-28T19:45:00Z
2013-08-28T19:45:00Z
<p class="yiv508768339msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv508768339msoplaintext">Dear Mother Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv508768339msoplaintext">My parents divorced before I was 2 years old. By the time I was 6 years old, I already had had 3 different step moms. That number is now 5! I am the youngest of 3 kids and we all went through our own trials with our parents' love lives. I was angry and confused about the coming and going of different wives and step families. Along with the expectation we were supposed to get attached and love these people.</p>
<p class="yiv508768339msoplaintext">In my early teens, my mom used to have me listen to you. I always thought it was ironic that you were all about children first and my parents clearly were not! They thought I was the problem and you were going to be able to change me and my attitude. Well Mother Laura, you did! Just not in the way I'm sure they expected. I learned from listening to you, that there are mothers out there who DO put their kids first. I made a promise to myself I would be one of them.</p>
<p class="yiv508768339msoplaintext">Fast forward 20 years and the many epic mistakes I made along the way. But, you were always in the back of my head saying "Choose wisely - treat kindly." That is exactly what I did!! I chose a man who I would be proud to introduce to you. He is a man who understands the importance of a mother being at home raising the children. When I was pregnant with our son, our only child so far, we made all the necessary cut backs and downsized our life in preparation for me to be at home. People kept telling us we weren't going to be able to do it. "It's too expensive out there," they'd say. Our reply was, "We don't care about material possessions; we care about our family." So, at 6 days old when our son was diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder (Prader-Willi Syndrome) we were able to be there for HIM the way HE needed. We weren't running around last minute trying to reorganize our lives. There weren't any egos in the way. There wasn't resentment about giving up what we wanted. People kept telling us we were handling it all so well. It is because prior to being parents we understood what it meant.</p>
<p class="yiv508768339msoplaintext">We were also able to turn to each other and say, "Our marriage still comes first. Without each other our son doesn't have a family." He will be 2 next week and s thriving! Our marriage is stronger than ever!</p>
<p class="yiv508768339msoplaintext">I am so GRATEFUL to you for instilling in me the importance of what it takes to create the family I now have. You are the major reason I never settled for less. Thank you for all that you are and all that you do!</p>
<p class="yiv508768339msoplaintext">Your long lost daughter,</p>
<p class="yiv508768339msoplaintext">Corey</p>
Staff
2013-08-28T19:45:00Z
There Are No Free Lunches
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/There-Are-No-Free-Lunches/484298756416746735.html
2013-08-27T21:05:00Z
2013-08-27T21:05:00Z
<br />Since I was 15 years old, I played in bands as a guitarist and if I had a gig, well so much for whatever job I had. As I reached my twenties, still being broke and flopping wherever I could was not as cool as I previously thought. So I landed a position at a manufacturing plant and made a commitment to myself to keep this job for a solid year which eventually turned into 4 years. I proved to myself that I could do anything if I set goals and kept my nose to the grindstone.<br /><br />After that time, I went on to become what I had always wanted to be and that is a full-time musician. I graduated from music school, and at 52-years-old, I am still paying the mortgage as a full-time professional player. But without that turning point mentally about how I wanted to live my life, I don't know how things would have turned out. I have certainly not been 'coddled, pampered, or spoiled', but have had to earn what it is I have achieved through hard work and God's grace. As they say, "There are no free lunches." These are the crucial things I am instilling in my 13-year-old son.<br /><br />Thanks Dr. Laura for giving advice and 'tough' love in your work. I know I have benefited from it.<br /><br />Peace and blessings.<br /><br />Adam
Staff
2013-08-27T21:05:00Z
My Husband Blesses ME!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husband-Blesses-ME!/-626237926761622678.html
2013-08-26T15:29:00Z
2013-08-26T15:29:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I just wanted to email you to say thank you for reminding me on a daily basis (via the podcast) to appreciate my husband and show him how much I love him. He is the best thing in my life and our marriage is a beautiful romance. It does not contain all the drama of the fairy tales or the exciting twists and turns of a Hollywood film but it has one thing those stories never do: it is REAL. <br /><br />We live every day quietly for each other. He goes to work for us and I watch our wonderful children. We email back and forth throughout the day with flirty comments and simple "I love you's". Many of our email exchanges read similarly to the ones shared the day before, the week before, and the month before. But somehow we never get tired of hearing the same messages.<br /><br />We take walks at the end of pretty spring days and cook whatever was on sale at the store on our grill. We watch TV shows snuggled up together with his feet on my lap. I like rubbing them while we sit there because he always gives me the most content smile of appreciation. He kills all the spiders around the house because he knows I hate them and sometimes at the end of his busy work days he will empty the dish rack or clean up all the toys in the living room. I always tell him not to because, between the work all day and then coming home and playing for long periods of time with our kids, I feel that is my job and I hate to see him work more. But he never listens when I insist he doesn't need to do that. He usually says "I don't mind helping you out." So then I smile and give him a hug and tell him how great he is.<br /><br />I sent him this email today:<br />
<blockquote>I wanted to let you know how much I love you and that I feel so thankful to have such a wonderful guy as my husband. It still sometimes amazes me how lucky I am. You spend all day at work for our family. And then you just want to come home to us where you spoil me with attention and dote on and play with our kids for most of the rest of the time. Could I or the kids be any luckier?You're my sweetheart. You're my best friend. You're my break at the end of the night. You're my reward for each long day. You're everything I need and want. I love you. I have been thinking about how blessed I am and just wanted you to know. <br /><br />-Your Forever-In-Love-With-You Wife</blockquote>
Our life may seem mundane to some and each day comes and goes much like the one before but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Our days are filled with sweet gestures given and received, love letters sent by email, and the wonder of knowing that it will always be so. It is not always exciting but the security of it covers me like a blanket, wrapping me in love and filling in all the spaces where any doubt could ever be.<br /><br />I wanted to thank you, Dr Laura, for reminding all of us to love and appreciate our spouses. The love I give him comes back ten-fold and blesses me every day.<br /><br />Mishan
Staff
2013-08-26T15:29:00Z
Grandpa and Grandson Build a Bicycle Together
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Grandpa-and-Grandson-Build-a-Bicycle-Together/974953332106098956.html
2013-08-23T21:20:00Z
2013-08-23T21:20:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />The other day I was watching my 12-year-old grandson at his home. He told me his bicycle tires had been flat for over a year and, besides, his bike was too small. I was going to fix his tires, but father's tools were pitifully inadequate for the job, so I brought the boy and the bicycle to my house and talked him through changing the tubes. Until then, he had no idea bicycle tires had inner tubes.<br /><br />That got me thinking. The boy shows a great understanding of mechanics, and his bicycle is too small. Over the years I have assembled 5 or 6 bicycles for fun, including building wheels, and I have lots of bicycle and other tools. So I made him a deal. I told him I would buy him a very nice new bicycle, but there was a string attached. The string was that he had to build it himself with me only giving instructions. He agreed.<br /><br />I had him pick out a well-fitted bike at the local shop where I have bought many bikes and parts. Then I told them to order the parts. Unfortunately, parts and prices have changed over the years, and building one only from parts nowadays about doubles the price, and I was not going to spring for the $1000 it would cost. So, out of earshot of the boy, I told the store manager to take it apart, even the wheels.<br /><br />Today my grandson laced 2 wheels and is in the process of learning to "true" (align) the first one. It currently looks like a huge, metal potato chip but it is slowly beginning to look like a wheel. I know he will take care of the bike because of he is so proud to be doing this project, and doing it with Grandpa. I think I will wait a few years - maybe decades - before I tell him this is the original bike he picked out in the first place.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Dr. Dave<br />
Staff
2013-08-23T21:20:00Z
Dr. Laura's Ten More Commandments
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dr.-Lauras-Ten-More-Commandments/23258730562057282.html
2013-08-22T18:55:00Z
2013-08-22T18:55:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />On yesterday's show there was some joking about you having your own ten commandments for listeners. Here's my draft:<br /><br /><strong>Dr. Laura's Ten More Commandments</strong><br /><br />1. I am the show host thou called. Thou shalt maintain good caller etiquette, turning down listening devices before getting on the air, asking questions instead of rambling aimlessly, not asking for legal, medical, or religious advice. Thou shall not do calls backwards nor up the ante. Thou shalt not tell me what other advice has been given to thou, nor claim to have already done what I advise. Thou shalt answer the questions I ask and not evade with "I don't know". Thou shalt complete sentences, then listen to me and not talk over me. Thou shalt not dismiss my advice by saying "I feel", "even if", "I just", nor appeal to fear.<br /><br />2. Thou shalt heed the original Ten Commandments. Go forth and find my Ten Commandments book.<br /><br />3. Thou shalt choose wisely, not someone too young nor too old, not someone still married or with minor children, not someone who abuses people or substances, or has personality disorders or severely deficient character, nor any other red flags. Thou shalt get pre-marital counseling from a licensed marriage and family therapist for six months.<br /><br />4. Thou shalt treat kindly, loving your wife with attentive devotion and being her boyfriend or being your husband's girlfriend, not treating your husband like he is a girlfriend. Thou shalt not turn down a perfectly good orgasm from your husband. Thou shalt also treat others kindly, not turning asunder husband and wife.<br /><br />5. Thou shalt not abort your babies, nor raise them out of wedlock, nor let others raise them except by closed adoption. Thou shalt not take from your children nor be a burden on them. Thou shalt let them spread their wings at age 18. Thou shalt not divorce while having minor children unless thou art in danger or the children art in danger.<br /><br />6. Thou shalt not allow a lady to pay for a date, open her own door, pull out her own chair, or stand when you are seated, nor shalt thou turn women into unpaid whores. Thou shalt not date a marriage-seeking lady unless thou art prepared and willing to support a wife and children.<br /><br />7. Thou shalt exercise and eat right, and not shun sound medical care, so it may go well with thou. If thou art fat, thou shalt not fault others for saying so, but shalt instead eat less and move more.<br /><br />8. Thou shalt stand between evil and the innocent, including defending thyself.<br /><br />9. Thou shalt avoid toxic people regardless of relation, not clinging to delusions of being able to change anyone else.<br /><br />10. Thou shalt let good and willing grandparents babysit the children, yea verily often, and not murmur when a grandmother shares old movies and treats with the younglings past their bedtimes.<br /><br />Kenneth<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2013-08-22T18:55:00Z
There ARE Real Men
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/There-ARE-Real-Men/-433963253302502253.html
2013-08-21T19:59:00Z
2013-08-21T19:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />There are real men. I know because I married one. He is a 6"5 cowboy - cowboy boots, cowboy hat and usually some sort of gun. I married him because of your program. I didn't know what a real man was, I was raised by a divorced woman. I dated train wrecks until I finally started listening to you. After that, I gathered myself up and started over. <br /><br />I met my husband through a friend. He courted me the old fashioned way. He would pick me up with flowers in hand and take me for dates. He always drove. He always paid. He always kissed me goodnight. He always left at the end of the evening. We talked about every part of what we expected out of life. We discussed everything down to how many times a week we would have sex, how we would raise children, what we expected on our death bed and who took out the trash. We left no rock unturned. He asked me to marry him with a diamond giant rock on the top of a mountain on his cattle ranch on one knee. Before the wedding he had a perfect house built in my honor. This was all before we had ever had sex.<br /><br />I knew he was a real man because if of this: he has a terrible mother and sister. They are the kind who have ZERO friends because they are so terrible. They were giving me a hard time because I quit my job before we got married. I have a little family money that was given to me by my grandfather with the understanding I would use it to be able to stay home to be a wife and mother. Well, those terrible two thought it was horrible of me to not be working in town. This was almost ten years ago, but I will NEVER forget the following: After the nagging went too far, my husband pulled them outside, leaned against his truck, crossed his arms and said, "Ladies, I picked her. I didn't pick you. And it's clear to me you see I picked the total reverse of the two of you. If you ever give her a hard time again you won't be seeing us or our future children. And with my stunning good looks and charm and her beauty and brains, I assume we are going to be making some pretty perfect kids. So if I were you, I would walk off of the thin line you are walking."<br /><br />Can you imagine when a boy crosses one of his girls????<br /><br />We have been married almost ten years. We have three pretty perfect kids. We live in rural Montana on our cattle ranch. We work non-stop, everyday. We are totally in love. We follow to a T the rules we made before we were married. We rarely have issues. We can't keep our hands off of each other...which would explain the 8 and 6-year-olds having a 5-month-old sister now. I giggle when women call overwhelmed. You should send them for a day on a cattle ranch in Montana!<br /><br />By the way, the terrible two have NEVER given me a hard time again.<br /><br />There are men left. There are good woman left. Keep up the fight. We are listening everyday. And it's our hope our children will follow the same path. You just don't hear from us much because we are busy being girlfriend and boyfriend.<br /><br />Annabel<br />
Staff
2013-08-21T19:59:00Z
Being a Stay-at-Home Mom in France
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-a-Stay-at-Home-Mom-in-France/-419312175493497518.html
2013-08-20T18:50:00Z
2013-08-20T18:50:00Z
<br />Dear Dr Laura,<br /><br />There are many clichés about French women, that they are seductive, passionate, charming, elegant and smart. My wife Samantha is French, and she is all of those things, and more. Much more, she is the mother of our 4 incredible children. I would like to dedicate this message to her - because she is an incredible woman who has overcome so much to be a real mother.<br /><br />My wife grew up in an abusive house, it would be an insult to call it a home. Her two genetic predecessors (it would be an insult to call them a mother and a father) wounded her profoundly. She has a thousand reasons to be angry, resentful, bitter and self-destructive in life, but she has harnessed these bad experiences and, through a great deal of strife, determination and energy, turned her life into something wonderful.<br /><br />She has a Science Masters from one of the top universities in France and could have invested herself in a big career, but for the last 12 years she has been a stay-at-home mom for our 4 children. Being at home, you really have to face up to yourself; children provide you with a full-on 24-hour character test, and I am so lucky and proud that my wife is willing to go through all of that for them. <br /><br />But here in France, women are not valued at home. In fact, the French tend to think of it as something backward, oppressive even, both for the mother and the child. Babies go to 'kindergarten' to learn social skills, independence, have friends and learn to play. I think this is one of the biggest euphemisms in society - it is the mothers that send their children to kindergarten so that they can be social, independent and meet their friends (even if it is at work).<br /><br />The absurd truth is that thousands of French mothers will celebrate Mother's Day, then drop their babies at 07:30am the next day for up to 12 hours. But because this is normal, it can seem at bit awkward when you tell people that you stay at home with your kids. France has a rotten view of motherhood, and that is why I really wanted to write to you. For once, I would like my wife to get a big, proper public nod for what she does. <br /><br />When a whole society adopts a set of values different to your own, it is tough to hold onto what you know is right. When it gets tough, you can start to wonder if you are doing the right thing. Somehow, a woman who comes home exhausted from a tense business meeting, or has closed out a stressful deal with a client, has a more legitimate looking reason to feel tired. Yet, just to go for a simple bike ride with young children can be crushingly difficult because of very mundane complications, and it doesn't feel legitimate to be exhausted because a 4-year-old has been gnawing away all day with questions about random things, and a 2-year-old has been struggling all day with his bowels.<br /><br />...As humans, I think we need to feel like we have a proper place in society which is legitimate and appreciated. France admires its working women, but rather looks at the floor with those who raise their children at home. When the world around you tends to think that what you are doing is a bit odd, it is not easy to see what you are doing is beautiful. <br /><br />But what could be more beautiful in life than a woman who has turned a bad childhood into 4 irresistibly wonderful children. The shadow of your past never goes away, but my wife continually makes the choice to make a bad thing good, she makes the choice to turn the ugly into something lovely. <br /><br />Dr Laura, please know that over the Atlantic thousands of kilometers away, in a different time-zone and culture, there has been a woman who has been uplifted, sustained and inspired to think about herself in radically positive and fresh ways because of your perceptive and bold podcasts. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping my wife articulate her values, and for giving her moments of courage and insight for doing the most important job in the world: Being Maman. <br /><br />Merci, et au revoir.<br /><br />Matthew<br />
Staff
2013-08-20T18:50:00Z
Turning My Life Right Side Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Turning-My-Life-Right-Side-Up/-728631795016158943.html
2013-08-19T20:30:00Z
2013-08-19T20:30:00Z
<br />Dear Dr Laura,<br /><br />You have turned my life upside down. Well, actually, my life was upside down until I started listening to you. Listening to you has turned me the right way up. Thank you. When I started listening, I was neither a girlfriend to my husband, nor was I a very good mommy to my kidlets. You quickly convinced me I needed to become both, and fast. But honestly, the change seemed too enormous, and I hardly knew where to begin.<br /><br />So here's what I did. I started to smile. And it has made all the difference in the world. My husband used to come home to a stressed out wife who was overwhelmed with responsibilities, and who always had four million things on her mind that hadn't been done yet.<br /><br />Now he comes home to a wife who is delighted to see him. Every time he walks in the door, no matter what I am doing, and no matter the "to-do" list scrolling through my brain, I put on a smile and suddenly, he becomes the only thing on my list of things "to-do" (wink wink).<br /><br />My children used to have a mommy who felt unprepared to raise and mother them--a mommy who was constantly tired, and who couldn't even just keep up with them. Now, every time they wake up in the morning or come home from school, they find a mommy who is delighted to see them.<br /><br />When they come downstairs in the morning, I greet them with a huge smile and a hug. And for just a moment the breakfast and lunch dishes I haven't done all disappear. When school is over, I greet them with a huge smile and a hug, and nothing else matters.<br /><br />Dr Laura, thank you so much for being on air to nag me every day. You have turned me from upside down to right way up, and it has made all the difference in the world to my family. <br /><br />Rhonda<br />
Staff
2013-08-19T20:30:00Z
What Feminism Has Done to Men
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Feminism-Has-Done-to-Men/-646126366625916932.html
2013-08-16T18:02:00Z
2013-08-16T18:02:00Z
<br />I was lucky to find one of the last real men. I am so surprised how many mothers don't even consider staying home with their babies. <br /><br />I am equally surprised that their husbands don't want their kids' mommies raising them; they would rather have an extra income. When I first started dating my husband he told me he would work as many jobs as it took so I could stay home with our kids. I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, but I also thought if it came down to it I would work so my husband didn't have to work so hard. This is what feminism has done to our thinking. Luckily, my husband was raised knowing that the man takes care of his family. <br /><br />When my first baby was born and I quit my job, we didn't have enough money to pay the bills. We were using savings each month to get by. Before I could even bring the subject up, my husband told me he was selling his company that he built from scratch to get a job that had more potential for growth. I was shocked and scared, but I decided to trust that my husband knew what he was doing. I have since learned that I married the hardest working, most motivated man out there. He went from the lowest level employee to the Vice President of a medium sized business in 4 years. He is 100% motivated to provide the best life for his family and admits he wouldn't work so hard if he didn't have us to provide for. <br /><br />Feminism has taken this drive away from men. It taught them that they shouldn't have to work so hard. It has taught them that their wives should share in their work and it doesn't matter who does the wife's work at home. I am so lucky I unknowingly married a man who is sickened by that thought. Thank you for encouraging others to not give up on this way of life. <br /><br />Melanie<br />
Staff
2013-08-16T18:02:00Z
1954 Movie: There's Always Tomorrow
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/1954-Movie:-Theres-Always-Tomorrow/-74632802850827371.html
2013-08-15T18:02:00Z
2013-08-15T18:02:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I watched an old movie last night and thought of you all throughout the movie. The movie starred Fred MacMurray and Barbara Stanwyck and it was basically about a man who entertained an affair with an old flame because he was ignored by his wife and kids. The character was always trying to please his wife, but she always was distracted by what the kids wanted and her volunteerism needed first. The kids basically ignored their father except when they needed money. <br /><br />I have listened to you for years and have learned to be my husband's girlfriend and have learned to enjoy the activities he enjoys doing just so we can do things together. I have become a crack shot as a result of these activities and really knew he was thinking of me when he bought me my own AK47 rifle! I am one lucky girl.<br /><br />Thank you for nagging all of us wives to be our husband's girlfriends. In this movie, the only reason the wife kept her husband was the "girlfriend" had a conscience and eventually turned him away. It is a movie worth watching even if it is almost 60 years old, lots of lessons that Mother Laura teaches!<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Sarah<br />(my husband's girlfriend)<br />
Staff
2013-08-15T18:02:00Z
There Are Ways to Stay at Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/There-Are-Ways-to-Stay-at-Home/941358466925906209.html
2013-08-14T18:03:00Z
2013-08-14T18:03:00Z
<br />Even though my mom encouraged us to have careers, I always knew my foremost goal was to be a mom and I met my future husband early in college. While dating, I firmly established that if we married and had a child together, I wanted to have freedom - (Hmm, isn't that what feminism was supposed to be fighting for?) - to stay at home with our baby. He readily complied and has been a steady provider and protector of our family for over 20 years. <br /><br />When my first child was young, I went back and get my teaching degree figuring that I would have the same schedule as my children if I went that route. Lo-and-behold, during my first year of full-time teaching as a High School English teacher, I became pregnant with our second child and that was when I discovered you, Dr. Laura. I stayed at home with my baby and thereafter learned that substituting when my children were in school was the most compatible job for me to have. <br /><br />Meanwhile, both my older brother and younger sister decided they needed to meet Mr. and Mrs. Perfect and left numerous suitable prospects in the dust in their 20's. They even boomeranged back to our parents' home. They are now married and both my sister-in-law and sister are big believers in putting their babies in day care within months after birth. Currently my sister is not talking to me because the last 2 times I talked to her, I told her I knew she could find a way to stay at home with her babies if she really wanted to do that. I have even offered free babysitting to her so she could do a job working mostly on weekends when her husband could take the kids. It is amazing to me that after the tens of thousands of dollars she has spent to conceive this child by IVF, that she is now willing to put the child in day care when the baby is only 4 months old. What are people thinking these days that they think this is okay?!? <br /><br />I am so happy my husband and I are on the same page with this. I truly hope other men step up to the plate to insist on financially taking care of their families and that their wives not only accept but welcome them doing so. <br /><br />Brenda<br />
Staff
2013-08-14T18:03:00Z
How Long Will It Take for My Husband to Come Back to Me?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Long-Will-It-Take-for-My-Husband-to-Come-Back-to-Me/-854915088368258881.html
2013-08-13T18:57:00Z
2013-08-13T18:57:00Z
<br />During a recent counseling session I told my husband I was starting to imagine my life without him. As I uttered these words I saw the hurt in my husband's entire being - it was as if I took a needle to a balloon - all the air had literally escaped him. I knew I had hurt him, but at that same moment I realized he still loves me - he still wants to be with me. After that session, we did not speak for two days - that was on a Monday. <br /><br />Tuesday, I downloaded to my iPad <em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em> and initially downloaded the sample because I wasn't yet a believer. I began highlighting words. Before I knew it the sample ended and I immediately downloaded the full version. I started from the very beginning, highlighting words and the first set of words I highlighted was from the Author's Note "...finding one or two things to compliment their husband about (no matter how small) each day for five days". Easy I thought - that's something I USED to do. The next day, I was on a quest to win back my husband.<br /><br />Wednesday morning he awoke for work and I said, "Good morning, Sweetie," (something I USED to do). Although he replied - he was cold and had every right to be - after all I had not been the wife he fell in love with. He showered, dressed and before he left, I said, "You look handsome, Sweetie," (something I USED to tell him). He thanked me, left and again he was cold. Wednesday evening, I initiated conversation with my husband, but although he was cold, I remained focused. <br /><br />Thursday morning was the same as Wednesday, but on this day I called my husband at work (something I USED to do) to let him know I was thinking about him and looked forward to seeing him when he arrived home that night. I say night because he made plans after work that did not include me - I was hurt, but remained focused. I waited up for my husband and when he arrived, I tried engaging him in conversation and although he responded, he was cold. My husband showered, climbed into bed and placed the pillow over his face. I assumed he was ready for sleep so I told him, "Goodnight," turned off the lights and moved to a quiet corner of the bedroom to continue reading <em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>. Inspired, before I climbed into bed, I gently kissed my husband on the lips and whispered "I love you" (something I USED to do).<br /><br />As I laid in bed with my back to my husband thinking, "How long will it take for him to come back to me," he spoons me and I smile. We made passionate love (something we USED to do) and during our time of intimacy I apologized to my husband, asked for his forgiveness and vowed to be the wife he deserved and the woman he fell in love with. It took only 2 days for my husband to come back to me. <br /><br />As I wipe these tears of joy from my keyboard I want to say THANK YOU DR. LAURA FOR <em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>. <br /><br />Margo<br /><br />P.S. - I also downloaded the FULL version of <em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage</em>.<br />
Staff
2013-08-13T18:57:00Z
Children are Children, Adults are Adults
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Children-are-Children,-Adults-are-Adults/-98138230169998328.html
2013-08-12T17:36:00Z
2013-08-12T17:36:00Z
<br />Two examples of parental authority that makes SENSE!<br /><br />Parental authority has changed so drastically over the years that as a teacher and Rabbi's wife I can tell you not only are parents worried about making their children upset rather than the other way around, but it has come to a point that parents are actually AFRAID of their own children.<br /><br />I am 31 and have four beautiful daughters. It is only one generation back- when I was a kid- that parents would discipline their kid because children were children and adults were adults and the lines were clear.<br /><br />Example number 1:<br /><br />When my father would eat on the couch and we would whisper, "But, Ma, how come Ta is eating on the couch and we're not allowed?" My mother would simply answer, "Different rules for Ta and for you kids." And that was the end of the discussion. Today parents are so busy making it fair between adults and kids. What the heck for??<br /><br />Example number 2:<br /><br />One summer, my parents rented a summer home with a pool. But, just beyond the pool there was a big opening to the bay - with no gate. My parents had us all hold hands and walk holding their hands until about 4 feet before the opening to the bay, and they said, "See where we are standing right now kids? Up until here is where you may go." And my father picked up his hand and drew an imaginary red line on the ground with his finger... "You may not take even ONE step farther than the spot we are standing in right now. It is too dangerous. You could fall into the bay water G-d forbid." My parents did not add: And if you do, you will be punished bla bla bla... Nor did they add: If you keep this rule you will get $1 bla bla bla... Nothing. They just made the announcement. And all summer long we swam in the pool with the opening to the bay a few feet away from us and not one of us eight kids even put one TOE past the imaginary red line my father drew.<br /><br />Thanks for inviting my opinion. I love giving it!<br /><br />Hindel<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2013-08-12T17:36:00Z
Physically Challenging Myself Removed the Dark Cloud
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Physically-Challenging-Myself-Removed-the-Dark-Cloud/-116510183847771240.html
2013-08-09T17:43:00Z
2013-08-09T17:43:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I've been listening to you for at least 20 years thanks to my Dad. Over the years you have shared your physical and creative challenges. These past ten years I have taken on my own challenges such as completing my Bachelor’s degree, and getting a second degree that enabled me to work in a field that is very satisfying, rewarding, and has purpose. <br /><br />I challenged myself physically running several marathons, including Boston, twice. After a running career of over 30 years, the passion was gone and I hung up my running shoes. I continue to power walk as I have multiple sclerosis, so it's important for me to do some form of daily activity.<br /><br />It’s been a rough year, as I lost both my parents. A few weeks ago I heard you mention that you had done cross-fit training so I started investigating. I found a small fitness studio and I started spinning and going to boot camp classes. Within two days I felt like the dark cloud above me was gone and I didn't even realize it was there. I now have a zest for life and a pep in my step – corny, but true. The weird thing is I didn't realize how down I was. I still miss my parents and I still cry - just not every day.<br /><br />Challenging yourself physically by sucking wind is the best!<br /><br />Thanks again Dr. Laura. May God bless you and give you whatever you need to keep up the good work.<br /><br />With affection and respect,<br /><br />Kathy<br />
Staff
2013-08-09T17:43:00Z
Growing Up in a Dual Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Growing-Up-in-a-Dual-Family/744510598006850930.html
2013-08-08T18:02:00Z
2013-08-08T18:02:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura - <br /><br />My parents divorced when I was 5 years old, and I was "asked" at that age which parent I wanted to live with. Unfortunately "both" was not an answer. <br /><br />I moved with my mother 2,000 miles away from my father. My mother suffered from depression and was not emotionally available. I was a latch-key kid and almost did not make it through 3rd grade. Before my 7th birthday I had already drank alcohol, smoked cigarettes, been sexually molested, and exposed to porn.<br /><br />When I moved back with my father at 8 years old, he had remarried. They were both alcoholics and I not only witnessed him beating his wife, but I was also physically abused by her and my stepbrother until I was 13 when I moved back with mom because they caught me drinking.<br /><br />I had already been arrested, in juvenile hall and drug rehab before my 16th birthday. At 18, I decided I needed to change EVERYTHING or the next stop would be jail, or worse. <br /><br />I IMPLORE people to be healthy before they marry. Then ensure they have a strong relationship BEFORE they have children, and to work hard at their marriage for their own sake and for the children's sake. I am a SURVIVOR, not a victim.<br /><br />I married a wonderful man and we have a wonderful 6-year-old daughter. We both work from home and homeschool our daughter, who is on a swim team and has a blue belt in karate. I will get my black belt in karate next summer. We attend church regularly. <br /><br />Our daughter will have the childhood I didn't have. I chose to break the cycle and be a strong example for my daughter. She will have pain at some point, but not what I had to endure. Thanks to YOU for helping me SO MUCH in making good choices!!<br /><br />Erica<br />
Staff
2013-08-08T18:02:00Z
My Dad Never Stopped Being My Hero!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Dad-Never-Stopped-Being-My-Hero!/-900257583827687720.html
2013-08-07T18:02:00Z
2013-08-07T18:02:00Z
<br />Dr Laura,<br /><br />This weekend produced one of the most random heartfelt experiences of my life, I just had to share. <br /><br />At the conclusion of every segment of your show, you sign off with a, "Now go do the right thing". I found out this weekend my deceased dad did just that years ago. This is my story…<br /><br />My father owned an insurance agency in a small town in Northern Wisconsin beginning in the late 50’s until he retired in the mid-80’s. At its peak, he employed up to a dozen people, so like small business, they just got by. My father was a good man, respected in the community, school board president, chamber of commerce president, a WWII combat veteran… He was a very good role model and I always looked up to him. I always felt safe and knew he was there for me. He was my hero.<br /><br />I was not particularly close to my father as a child growing up. My mother was the nurturing one. My father worked long hours, spending most of his free time at home relaxing and generally disengaged. This was not uncommon in this particular era; I assumed other households had the same experience. Mom had one role, Dad had another. Only until later in life did we become close.<br /><br />During the early 70’s, I have a minor recollection of an employee of Dad’s diagnosed with brain cancer. It was a dark period for his family, as he suffered greatly and struggled through recovery. I was not particularly close to the situation as I was barely a teenager, but I knew his kids well growing up together in a small town.<br /><br />Fast forward: Recently, I posted my dad's picture on Facebook with Happy Birthday wishes. Among the miscellaneous "likes" was a comment from the son of the above mentioned employee. It read, "Your dad was extremely generous as well. Long before disability insurance, your dad had vision. When our dad had a brain tumor and a long arduous recovery, your dad kept paying our dad for an entire year to help our family out with a weekly paycheck. Mom was busy taking care of Dad, and without this generosity, I have no idea how our family would have survived. We will always be grateful for that... There was no way for us to survive, if your dad hadn't done that -- I learned this in my 30s. My mom always talked about how wonderful your dad was and how this gave us the money to keep going. And then Mom got a job teaching at the end of the year. I thought you should know."<br /><br />My dad has been deceased since 2004. I had no idea he had done this. I can’t begin to describe how good it felt to hear these words from an old family friend. My dad was my hero growing up, and he continues to be my hero even today. A very cool birthday present, indeed. <br /><br />Now go do the right thing!<br /><br />Patrick<br />
Staff
2013-08-07T18:02:00Z
Lessons from My Daughter
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lessons-from-My-Daughter/-409131798274654795.html
2013-08-06T18:09:00Z
2013-08-06T18:09:00Z
<br />My daughter and I have had a challenging relationship since before she was even born. She arrived two weeks late and I learned quickly she would only do things when she was damn good and ready, including her birth. <br /><br />Fast forward to the early teen years - the dreaded 13 - 16 age range. At age 14, my daughter and I never saw eye-to-eye on ANYTHING. It was a terrible time as we tried to cope with puberty, weight issues, boys, acne, school and living in her "perfect" older brother's shadow. My daughter was involved in many sports including volleyball, danceline and softball. I went to every event, home and away. I wore beige and never cheered for her directly, for fear of embarrassing her. But I was always there, whether she wanted me or not. And the majority of time, it was the latter. I always encouraged the other team members and cheered the team as a whole, but never singled out my daughter by name. I just yelled things like "Nice play!" She still hated me being there or even associated with her... <br /><br />My daughter was on a traveling team for volleyball and I had been the mom who always drove to out-of-town tournaments. One weekend I was especially tired of her attitude, tired of traveling and just tired of it all, so I asked her to talk to one of her friends to see if their mother could drive. She looked at me and said the following, "I want you to drive us to the tournament. I always know that when YOU drive we get to the right place at the right time and we are never late." At that moment, I realized there was hope! <br /><br />Those years from 13-16 were hell. There were many tears, hurt feelings, slammed doors, and more fights than you can imagine between my daughter and me. For those mothers of daughters, please tell them to hang in there. Keep going to the games/speech meets/plays and other activities - even if they don't want you there. Don't embarrass your kid by running up to her after the event and hugging her. Instead, catch her eye and smile. Then leave. It's enough for her to know you cared enough to show up. Today, my daughter is now 19 years old, soon to enter her sophomore year of college, and we get along very well. <br /><br />In addition, there were other girls on the team who knew they could also depend on me for a ride when their parents choose not to attend. So, to the moms out there: eat the bad hotdogs, sip the warm Gatorade, munch on the stale popcorn. Sit on the uncomfortable bleachers. Do it all so your kid can see you and then ignore you. Some day, she will want you there to help her move in to her new dorm...and cry when you leave. I promise, she won't ignore you forever. Hang in there..... <br /><br />Thanks. <br /><br />Laura<br />
Staff
2013-08-06T18:09:00Z
My 12-Year-Old Shocked Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-12-Year-Old-Shocked-Me/832519936112585747.html
2013-08-05T18:38:00Z
2013-08-05T18:38:00Z
<br />As a mom of a 12-year-old boy, I knew this day would come, but I had no idea the resolution would be so positive and powerful and such a compliment to you, Dr. Laura. <br /><br />A little back story. My son is a good, smart, healthy, respectful young boy. But he's a boy. At 10, my husband found he had looked up "hot boobs." on the computer. We immediately sat him down and said this is not appropriate and put on parental controls and hoped the situation was resolved.<br /><br />I have listened to you for years with my children in the car on the way home from school. I knew they heard, but wasn't always sure they listened. <br /><br />My son had a play date with a 10-year-old boy at our home. Upon him going home, the other child's mom went through her boy's i-touch looking at his history and found "terribly raunchy sites." When asked he said that my son had shown him how to get to the sites. She immediately called me and I did the same. I was ready to come unglued, but his phone had no history of naughty sites. I calmed down and asked my son, "What do you and Camden do when he plays here?" He said they play games and he had downloaded some games for the younger boy. So I probed deeper, and he listed games sites that for his 30 minutes a day, he is allowed to play. He then said, "Are you asking me if I look for porn?" Shocked he even knew the word, I said, "Yes." He responded, "Mom I got in huge trouble with you and Dad two years ago when I did. And I remember the radio lady talked with a guy who lost his wife, his house and his job because he was looking at porn. I don't want to be like that guy. I want a good girlfriend and a good marriage. You can't do that looking at porn." <br /><br />As I picked my jaw up off the floor, beaming with pride, he asked to have a conversation with the other little boy and both moms to discuss the situation. During the mom/son meeting, it was nothing short of amazing as I listened to my son explain how porn was not good for your brain; it could ruin your relationships, how lying would just complicate your life, and the story he remembered from your program. I was so proud of him and grateful for your consistent message of doing what's right and how to make better choices. <br /><br />The radio may be on in the background, but what goes in those little ears matters. You don't always know if your kids are listening, but why not try to have morals going in all the time. I know that my son is listening and it is making a real difference. <br /><br />Thank you for helping me raise a great kid. <br /><br />Ashley
Staff
2013-08-05T18:38:00Z
My Husband's Girlfriend Has Returned
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husbands-Girlfriend-Has-Returned/192295422210686411.html
2013-08-02T18:02:00Z
2013-08-02T18:02:00Z
Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />My husband has been a long time listener to your show and now follows you online. We have several of your books, including <em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>. When he first brought this book home, I read it but not with an open mind. Looking back, I regret that. My husband and I have been married 15 1/2 years and 2 1/2 years ago I almost lost him. I was not taking care of him the way I should have and he found a sympathetic ear in a friend of ours. She gave him the attention he was craving and on a certain level they shared a bond. I could tell things weren't going well at home so I confronted him and he told me he had found someone to listen to him and make him feel like he had some worth. That was a punch in the stomach! I immediately changed me. I begged him to give me the chance to prove to him that I still loved and treasured him. We had long talks and I found out how beat down and unappreciated I had made him feel. It wasn't so much what I had done as what I hadn't done. I felt like the biggest bitch in the world. No wonder he had shared with someone else. They never had a physical affair, but I'm sure if I hadn't pulled my head out, it would have led to that. <br /><br />Since then, I have made giant leaps. I have started showing and telling my husband daily how much he means to me. I let him how much I appreciate him and how important he is to me, our kids, and our family. I do my best to make him feel special every day and surprise him with date nights, and "parent getaway weekends". It's been a long journey and I'm lucky he was willing to give me another chance. There have still been ups and downs, but overall we are stronger now than we have been since we were dating. <br /><br />I'm thankful for the advice in your book and for helping me realize how "feeding" my husband makes all the difference in the world to us and our marriage. I'm proud to say that not only do I treat my husband like a king, but I am now a much better wife and am continuing to grow and be the wife he deserves to have. Even more important, the girlfriend in me has returned and my husband is overwhelmed by all the feedings she's giving him! We are both loving the new playful us. <br /><br />Thank you for the advice you share. It helped me save my marriage and reawaken the girlfriend in me that my husband lost so long ago.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Nancy<br />My husband's girlfriend
Staff
2013-08-02T18:02:00Z
Integrity
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Integrity/-571628814732554595.html
2013-08-01T18:02:00Z
2013-08-01T18:02:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br />
<p>I started listening to you in my early twenties during a time in which I agreed with very little of your daily messages. I was a shack-up honey, with a fairly feminist point of view. I knew my husband-to-be would not be able to support our lifestyle alone and fully expected that one day I would have children who went to day care. My parents displayed a poor example of marriage, so the biggest influences regarding relationships were my girlfriends who were also in their early twenties. As you can imagine I only learned other bad behavior such as, men need to be “trained,” and how to whine to get what you need out of a relationship. Nonetheless, I enjoyed tuning in to your program to hear what was going on in other people's lives and to try to guess what your advice would be. I remember thinking many of your solutions were impossibly difficult, or that people’s problems weren’t that black and white.</p>
<p>Fortunately for me, I kept listening. I listened and I found myself agreeing with you more and more.</p>
<p>My first marriage ended after only two years and thankfully in the absence of any children. While I was single I read your books <em>10 Stupid Thing Women Do To Mess up Their Lives</em> and <em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>. I continued listening to your program, and found myself not only agreeing with your message, I quoted you to others. I lent my books to those who needed them, and even gave away <em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em> as wedding shower gifts.</p>
<p>Today I am a 35 year old, happily married, stay-at-home mother of three terrific daughters. I am LIVING MY DREAM LIFE and it’s because of your advice. I am cherished by my husband and kids. It is black and white. I treat the people around me well, I cut off contact with those who are destructive, I do the right thing each day.</p>
<p>If it weren’t for you:</p>
<p>I wouldn’t be my kids' mom.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t be my husband’s girlfriend.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t be completely prepared to look like a crazy person to protect my kids.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t be prepared to stand up to those who hurt others.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t be the tender and nurturing, yet tough cookie, matriarch of my family.</p>
<p>Late one evening, my husband and I were chatting in the kitchen. That night he gave me the biggest compliment of my life. He said if he had to describe me with just one word, it would be "integrity". Dr. Laura, I share that compliment with you, as you taught me how to live my life with integrity.</p>
<p>I am forever grateful to you for the lessons you have taught me.</p>
<p>Sarah</p>
<p>P.S. I have told my husband a number of times, if anything ever happens to me, I want him to raise the girls listening to you and to read with them <em>10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess up Their Lives</em> at least three times before they turn 18!</p>
<p>Lastly, I lost my father eight years ago, and my mother 7 months ago, so I’d just like you to know that I have officially adopted you as my surrogate mother. Just thought you should know!</p>
<br />
Staff
2013-08-01T18:02:00Z
Things Worthwhile Are Never Easy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Things-Worthwhile-Are-Never-Easy/713609453930381518.html
2013-07-31T16:05:00Z
2013-07-31T16:05:00Z
<br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />Thank you for all you do. You have no idea how many times you have helped me. I have been a stay-at-home mom for sixteen years to two boys ages 16 and 12. I am my kids' mom and am my husband's girlfriend.<br /><br />It has not been easy to stay at home, but we have managed to continue. When my first son was born, my husband and I decided it would be good for one of us to be with him and not do the day care thing. Our families live out of state so it made sense for me to stay at home.<br /><br />My husband was beginning a long career in the life insurance industry and we struggled for years financially. I left a career in sales that I loved and hated staying home - at first. I missed my friends at work etc. and wondered sometimes if it was all worth it as I stood standing in line at the grocery store wondering if I had enough money to pay the bill. Once I even left a full cart because my debit card wouldn't go through.<br /><br />I wondered again if it was worth it during teething, diaper rashes, potty training, but in the end it has been totally worth all the yucky parts.<br /><br />I was able to be around for both my boys' firsts: First steps, first tooth, first day of school. I would not trade any of this and now the boys are older, but I've found that they still need me - perhaps more now that they are teens.<br /><br />I recently went back to full time work last winter. I took a teaching job for a woman on maternity leave. The hours were fine and went around my family or so I thought. I loved teaching, but I stayed past school hours to plan and grade papers and left home early in the morning. I wondered why I was spinning my wheels to only see my family for an hour or so a day. At the end of my long term position I was offered a permanent position, but I turned it down.<br /><br />I realized I could work part time as a substitute teacher, walk dogs, and teach my master's swimming class to help earn some extra money - as I had done in the past. My part time gigs wouldn't take me away from the kids and I wouldn't have to bring any work home at night to take away from family time. We still try to do family dinners in between sports practices and those dinners seemed to be non-existent when I was working full time because I was too tired to care.<br /><br />I realized how silly I was all those years that I sometimes questioned my value as a stay at home mom. My value is proof in my boys. People compliment me all the time on how sweet and well mannered they are. I beam with pride and realize that my being with them was the key ingredient.<br /><br />There were many more struggles that my sons and I shared and I'm sure with teenagers in the house we will have more to come. Things worthwhile are never easy. I wanted to share with your audience that staying at home with my two boys was the very best thing I could have ever done. Thank you for always putting worth in being a stay at home mom!<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />Kelly<br />
Staff
2013-07-31T16:05:00Z
Give-a-Lot, Take-a-Little Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Give-a-Lot,-Take-a-Little-Marriage/247394112027269338.html
2013-07-30T18:02:00Z
2013-07-30T18:02:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I smiled to myself just now when I heard the newlywed woman and her motorcycle lovin' man. I must share my parents' story...<br /><br />I am the baby of eight children. I am 29, married a little over ten years to my love, no children yet, but we're hoping.<br /><br />When I was between the ages of 4-6, my dad was expecting a $10k bonus from work. On several occasions, he tried convincing my mom that he really needed to buy this fancy red convertible. My mom pushed back, but to no avail, he kept trying. At one point, he played the card, "But Ann, it's always been my dream to have this car..." My wise mother said in turn, "It's always been my dream to have a dozen babies. Do you want to make my dream come true?" Needless to say, he dropped it. <br /><br />Now he's living the real dream. He is still married to his sweetheart. His license plate reads "LuvinAnn" and he is Grandpa to 24 grandchildren. I am so grateful for the give-a-lot-take-a-little relationship my parents taught me. They are truly inspiring.<br /><br />Teresa<br />
Staff
2013-07-30T18:02:00Z
I Want My Title to Be MOM
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Want-My-Title-to-Be-MOM/-886286335338240212.html
2013-07-29T18:02:00Z
2013-07-29T18:02:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />Today I want to take a second to thank you for all you do! As of today I will be turning in my resignation to my boss so I can be "my kid's mom"! I was listening to you the other day and I know I've heard it over and over, but it really sunk in, "You can't do it all. If you have a job, someone else is raising your kids and sooner or later your husband will have someone else being his wife." Your words rang in my head and haven't left. <br /><br />Lately I've been reminded of just how fragile life is, with a friend passing away from colon cancer a month after diagnosis. This is a huge reminder that if I died tomorrow, I wouldn't want to be remembered as an "Office Manager" or a "Bookkeeper." I would want to be remembered as being dedicated to my children as their mom and to my husband as his girlfriend. I've been caught up with titles and I let go of the most important one: "MOM". <br /><br />I've been told, by many people close to me that "It's just four hours a day" or "You're going to regret losing this job," and unfortunately, I've listened. The statement that stuck with me the most was said on the first day of my job. I went in with tears in my eyes because I had never left my son alone with anyone except family and I was told by my boss "It's good for your son and good for you." Those words hurt more than anything else because I know that our moms of this generation don't realize they are the most important people in their children's lives and they are leaving their kids so they can go have a "title". <br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, for always speaking the truth, putting your best foot forward to protect kids, and giving moms the kick in the pants to do the job they applied for when they got pregnant! My child will from now on have a mom and will never have to be ripped out of my arms crying because he doesn't want to be at the babysitter's. I will no longer have to cry or be told that "it's good" to leave my son with someone who's not me! I will forever be "My Kid's Mom"! Please keep preaching and nagging the words that need to be heard!<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Desirae<br />
Staff
2013-07-29T18:02:00Z
My Journey from Bulimia to Iron Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Journey-from-Bulimia-to-Iron-Man/-361325536332050240.html
2013-07-26T18:02:00Z
2013-07-26T18:02:00Z
<br />Hi Dr Laura!<br /><br />My journey with you begins 2 years ago, in the parking lot of a McDonalds fast food restaurant. I was stuffing my face with as much food as I could fit, and listening to your program. <br /><br />This is often how I spent lunchtime...waiting until your show came on the air at 11am then loading up into the car to find the flavor of the day fast food restaurant to binge eat to my heart's content. I would return home to "purge" my food. It was a never ending cycle for me, and I felt trapped. <br /><br />On this day, I recall you speaking to a runner suffering from anorexia. I can't remember what was exactly said on the call, but something about it hit me. <br /><br />I had always been an athlete, but after a soccer injury in college, I became lazy and unmotivated. I thought back to my college days. I was healthy and happy, and most importantly, my every waking thought wasn't consumed with food. That day, I decided to go for a run.<br /><br />It was slow going at first; I could barely run 4 minutes without being completely winded. But eventually I worked myself up to 3 miles a day, and then 4...and so on. My fast food lunchtime "Dr. Laura" sessions were substituted for sandwiches, and then eventually salads. Your phrase "eat less, and move more" became my mantra. <br /><br />Fast forward to today, I am in the best shape of my life and I am feeling happy and healthy. In September, I will be racing in my first ever Iron Man triathlon. That's 2.4 miles of swimming, 112 miles of biking, followed by a 26.2 mile run! I have also raised more than $4,000 for leukemia research along the way. <br /><br />I just wanted to say thank you, for everything you do. You are the reason that I am the healthy and happy person I am today...<br /><br />Thank you, again, <br /><br />Jessica<br />
Staff
2013-07-26T18:02:00Z
Saving My Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Saving-My-Life/-695146110445060361.html
2013-07-25T18:02:00Z
2013-07-25T18:02:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura;<br /><br />My name is Autumn. Forgive me if this letter isn't very sophisticated; I am only 3 months old. My mom used to think there was nothing wrong with day care, but then she started to listen to you. Luckily, before I came along, my parents decided that they would do whatever it took for one of them to be home full time to take care of me. At first it was going to be Dad, but life changed in unexpected ways, and my parents started their own business so now I have Mom and Dad with me at home all day.<br /><br />They take turns taking care of me and working. The house is mess. There are no date nights right now. I can tell they don't have much time for themselves, but we are all really happy.<br /><br />I love my daddy, but there are times he just doesn't smell as good as Mommy, and she is the only one who can make the world right for me. I can't imagine how scary and confusing it would be to spend the whole day away from her, and I'm glad I don't have to.<br /><br />Just the other day I started to spit up as babies do, but this time I started to choke. My eyes got huge, my face turned red, and I was terrified. I couldn't breathe, so I couldn't cry for help. I looked around and my mommy was there to help me--she is always there. She held me all night afterwards, and we both felt much better. I never made a sound, but somehow Mommy heard my heart. I wonder if a day care worker would have noticed my silent struggle over all the other babies? Maybe. But...what if?<br /><br />Because you nagged my mommy and daddy, I never have to hope I will be noticed. My mom and dad keep me close every day. So keep reminding mommies how much their babies need them. You are changing lives, and you saved mine.<br /><br />Autumn<br /><br />
Staff
2013-07-25T18:02:00Z
Replacement Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Replacement-Kids/387926313253151254.html
2013-07-24T18:52:00Z
2013-07-24T18:52:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I am a 30 year listener and my wife, four sons, and I are better people because of you. <br /><br />Almost daily, I hear you struggle to reference the children who are produced when a family attempts to "blend". I had a conversation with a young lady several years ago who was an original daughter of a divorced dad. She referred to her new half-siblings as her dad's "replacement kids". I think the term fits perfectly. <br /><br />My youngest son asked me recently "What are you going to do if Dr. Laura dies?" I said, "She won't."<br /><br />Thank you for all the years of wisdom.<br /><br />Sincerely, your loyal subject<br /><br />Brett<br />
Staff
2013-07-24T18:52:00Z
My Reward was Much More Than a Trip to Disneyland
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Reward-was-Much-More-Than-a-Trip-to-Disneyland/-69602170623241690.html
2013-07-23T18:02:00Z
2013-07-23T18:02:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura! <br /><br />It’s because of my Dad that I am such a big Dr. Laura fan that I am today – As he was a great big fan of yours when he was still here. He would often reiterate things you would say, not just to me, but with co-workers and friends alike! Everyone who knew him, would certainly know of you too. He loved you for supporting our troops, and for the life changing advice you would give your callers… As his daughter and only child, he knew the importance of me being influenced by you, especially since “the birds and the bees” subject can be an understandably awkward if not a downright embarrassing discussion for both a dad and a daughter to have. Not to mention such things as “pre-marital sex”, “dating dos and don’ts”, “shacking up”, etc. etc… The way my Dad avoided that embarrassment was by putting YOU in my ears, and YOUR books in my hands! When I was just 16 years old, my dad gave me a copy of <em>Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess up Their Lives</em> - except that he didn’t just give it to me in hopes that I would read it. Oh no, no, no. <br /><br />It happened on a Friday night when he came home from work. After he set down his things, he said, “I got a book for you today that I would really like for you to read.” When I read the title and who it was by, I looked up at him like he had a third eye ball right smack dab in the middle of his forehead. I said in one of those teen-age whiney tones - “Ah, you want me to read a Dr. Laura book?” He then said, “Actually, I want to make you a deal, if you spend the rest of this weekend reading this book, AND finishing it, then next Saturday morning, you and I will be on the road to spend a day at Disneyland!” <br /><br />Even though I didn’t want to spend the weekend with my nose in a book that wasn’t fun or teen related, it was an offer I couldn't refuse. That night after dinner, I went up to my room and got to reading it -- actually just sort of skimming it. By mid-morning the next day, I excitedly announced I had finished it! To which my dad said… “You’re done?? Already?? Wow, ok well - I have some questions for you…” My eyes widened. I wasn’t ready for questions; I was ready to talk about DISNEYLAND! <br /><br />We sat down at the table, and he began to quiz me. By his second question, I had realized that he had actually pre-read the book!! By the time he got to his fourth question, I still hadn’t answered the first three correctly, he looked at me with a disapproving expression.<br /><br />I explained in my best whiny “not fair” voice – that I did read the book, every sentence even, and that I didn’t know why I couldn’t answer the questions.<br /><br />Much like you Dr. Laura – my Dad didn’t “do ignorant”. <br /><br />He said “Ok – but you still didn’t take in the messages that Dr. Laura gives in this book… I want for you to read it again, but this time, actually READ the words. I will know what you have and what you have not read by the answers you are able to provide.” <br /><br />I sluggishly went back to my room and got to reading….Only this time, really reading. By the third paragraph, I was actually enticed, and completely intrigued. I was learning way more than I was prepared to learn, and soon enough “10 Stupid Things That Women Do to Mess up Their Lives” became and definite page turner! The following night, I couldn’t help but to interrupt my dad’s Sunday Night Football to confidently announce that I was finished… In his high and tight Marine type of a way – He straightened himself up, which was cue for me to brace for the fact that I was about to go through “inspection”. <br /><br />“ALRIGHT - NUMBER ONE….” He started with the first of what ended up to be TWENTY questions in total. With each and every one, I spout off my answer before he could even finish his question, and by the 20th one, I had answered every one of them correctly! He felt confident that I had taken in the messages that he wanted me to take in – and sure enough - that next Saturday morning, we were up and on the road to Disneyland by 7 am, and had a terrific day together. <br /><br />Many parents will say that all they want for is for their child is to have a “happy life”… Well, my dad wasn’t one of those… My dad wanted me to live life in a way that held honor, integrity, respect, grit, appreciation, honorable ethics, and above all - the knowledge to make decisions that I could and can be proud. He wanted me to have the tools to make the right decisions that were going to be deciding factors in the way my life would ultimately turn out. <br /><br />One of the biggest factors in how my life has played out thus far, was from the choice I made in the man I married. I married a man who puts my happiness before his own, who would unquestionably swim through shark infested waters 3 times over to bring me ice chilled lemonade. I married a man who was willing to work for the approval from a father who was a Retired United States Marine Corps Master Sergeant who proudly served his country for 20 years. As you can imagine, gaining the approval from a man of this stature in marrying his one and only “little girl” was in no way an easy feat. It took an enormous amount of unfaltering respect, and honor, and any sort of “slip up” was unacceptable.<br /><br />My husband not only never missed a beat of what was expected of him, but 12 years ago on the day that my dad walked me down the aisle to marry this man, he affectionately called him “the son he never had”. <br /><br />The day I married my husband, I went from the pedestal of my dad - directly to the pedestal of my husband. I married a man who treats me with an unwavering amount of love and respect, and even though my dad is no longer with us, he still treats me as though my dad were still here ready and able to take care of business if he ever slipped up. I am proud to be my husband’s his wife, and the stay-at-home mom of our two children. And the man who I chose to marry, wouldn’t have it any other way.<br /><br />When I was just a young 16-year-old teeny bopper – I thought that my weekend being spent with my nose in Dr. Laura’s book was going to be rewarded with my Dad giving me a trip to Disneyland… But it turns out that the grand prize was my dad giving me the key to learning what it takes in order to have the life that I am living and loving today… <br /><br />Thank you so much Dad – And to you, Dr. Laura, as well.<br /><br />Love and Blessings,<br /><br />Kelley<br />
Staff
2013-07-23T18:02:00Z
Chose the Right Job, Married the Right Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Chose-the-Right-Job,-Married-the-Right-Man/-67578698366603477.html
2013-07-22T18:02:00Z
2013-07-22T18:02:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I felt prompted to write to you after hearing a teenager asked your advice about choosing a career that would "balance" family life. I, like that girl, considered becoming a physician, but luckily my college had a pre-med orientation designed to "weed out" those students who were not serious about making the long-term commitment of medical school, residency and loans. Fortunately, I was one of those weeded out and changed my major to speech-language pathology. About a year later, I met an amazing and adorable man who was working in a research lab saving money and applying to medical school. He was accepted a year later. We married while he was in medical school and I was in grad school and we both worked extremely hard to make ends meet and support each other. During my long commute, I was lucky enough to find your show. It helped me learn how to be a good wife and future mother. We waited 5 years until we had our first child because we both knew that I needed to be home full time and my husband needed to be done with the insane rigors of residency. <br /><br />We have now been married 15 years, have 3 amazing kids ages 10, 7 and 5. I am their mom full time and my husband is an ER physician and only works the overnight shift, 16 shifts per month and no beeper. This shift allows him to be home for dinner every night, every after school activity, homework time and bedtime. This shift and this specialty of medicine were conscious decisions we made for our family. This fall, our youngest will start kindergarten. I will be picking up some work a few hours a week, but my husband and I are looking forward to lots of daytime date time while the kids are at school in preparation for the happy chaos that returns at 3 o'clock and we tackle together. <br /><br />I have often heard you say you would never marry a physician, but I am reminded every day that I married the right man who chose a profession where he can put his family first while still providing an amazing life for us. We know lots of other physicians who make similar decisions and others who don't. It really comes down to the right man, regardless of career, and I've got him. I feel so blessed that I was weeded out of the pre-med group because I know with all of the loans, being a full-time mom would not have been an option. High school and college girls are told that they can have it all and rarely think about how their careers will impact their families. I had many friends ask me "How could you waste all that education on being a stay-at-home mom?" My answer has always been: "I am working, but I only have 3 kids on my caseload." And they are they are the best talkers on the block!<br /><br />Thank you for all that you do, keep doing it!<br /><br />With sincere gratitude,<br /><br />Nicole <br /><br />
Staff
2013-07-22T18:02:00Z
Realizing What My Gifts Are
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Realizing-What-My-Gifts-Are/380240119341934390.html
2013-07-19T17:30:00Z
2013-07-19T17:30:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I'm a long-time listener, and several times I've heard you ask a caller, "What is your gift?" It got me pondering...well, what is MY gift? Despite being a successful lawyer at a big firm, at first, I really couldn't think of anything! How sad is that?<br /><br />But I continued to think about it, until it became clear to me that I do have gifts, and what those gifts are.<br /><br />I wanted to tell you that your prompting me to consider this simple, basic question has provided me with the answer to a dilemma I've been struggling with for years. And that dilemma is whether to leave my legal career to pursue my heart's desire - a vocation to the priesthood and religious life.<br /><br />I had been looking at the question from the standpoint of what others would think was a responsible decision, or what would make the most money, or what would be the safest course. But I wasn't looking at it from the standpoint of what my particular gifts are...after all, I didn't even know I had any!<br /><br />But once I gave it some serious consideration, I came to realize what my gifts are: they are ministering to others spiritually, teaching, counseling, and a contemplative, religious life in general.<br /><br />This internal analysis clarified the dilemma, and I have come to a decision. I have applied to enter a Benedictine monastery, and have been accepted. There is still a long road of discernment ahead of me, and I don't know where it will lead, but I have set my foot on the path and have taken the first step. And it feels great.<br /><br />Thank you providing such clarity. Because of your teachings, this man has resolved to devote himself to a life in service to others.<br /><br />God bless you and the work you do.<br /><br />Aidan<br />
Staff
2013-07-19T17:30:00Z
Why Men Leave a Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Men-Leave-a-Marriage/834261936261861601.html
2013-07-18T18:29:00Z
2013-07-18T18:29:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I wish to give you some of my perspective and much of the perspective of the men with whom I work. These include engineers, managers, superintendents and other professionals found in a major engineering-construction firm.<br /><br />The males of the species ALL hope the spouse NEVER changes. Unfortunately they always do and as seen by the male, usually not for the better. The young female is for the vast majority: loving, caring, accommodating, enthusiastically partaking of his activities, gentle of voice and comments, and generally sexually very active.<br /><br />It is true that as time goes on all things change at least somewhat. The key word is somewhat. That is as it is meant to be. It is when major changes occur that the problems start. This is especially true if the changes are on key issues.<br /><br />Loving and caring go together as one. Initially the girl will want to sit beside her man, want to caress his head when chatting and will smile even when important or controversial issues are discussed. They can weigh the factors and come to an agreement. Twenty years later, it is no longer a discussion. She will stand ten feet from him and in a voice akin to a grizzly, state her case and demands. Disagreements are challenged with a raise voice and a fearsome scowl. She will dictate where they go and what he is to do when not at work.<br /><br />There is little if any accommodation of things that he would like to do. Often he is forced to change his hobbies because she does not like them. "I don't want you woodworking because that's dusty!" "You cannot restore that car because you get smelly and dirty!" "You cannot go hunting because I now refuse to eat that garbage!" Forget about being interested how and what he does in his non-business activities; much less partaking in his activities. I am an accomplished landscape/scenic and wildlife photographer. My wife has seen less than two percent of my photos. She just is not interested. I so terribly miss sharing this with her.<br /><br />There are many jokes about the wife at least raising her voice, if not outright screaming at the husband. Sadly, there is more truth in this than joke. The excuse the wife uses, (and nearly every man that I associate with claims that his wife has the exact same excuse), is, "You do that to me, so I do it to you!" Forgiveness? Forget it. If the man messes up on something, it will be reminded to him 10 - 12 years later as if it happened just an hour ago. In addition, it will be reminded in a most cruel manner.<br /><br />In her twenties, the girl will want sexual activity nearly every night. By forty, he is lucky if it is once in four weeks and by fifty, he is lucky if it is four times a year.<br /><br />Do you see why the man does not want his wife to change?<br /><br />On the other hand, the woman seems to want to change nearly everything about her man. That however is another subject.<br /><br />This is why men look for a younger woman after 30 years of marriage.<br /><br />Larry
Staff
2013-07-18T18:29:00Z
Can I Call You Dad Now?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Can-I-Call-You-Dad-Now/-419924559981756207.html
2013-07-17T19:50:00Z
2013-07-17T19:50:00Z
<p class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br /> <br /> I am an adult child of unsuccessful attempts at family blending from both my mother's and father's second marriages. I can tell you that my youth was filled with very turbulent days caused by my parent's attempt at making their own "Brady Bunch" - the stress caused by step siblings and shared homes was at times unbearable. <br /> <br /> Skip to me some twenty years later as a woman of 30, divorced, and mom of a son whose only prayer each night included asking God to give him a dad. As much as I tried to explain to him that he had the perfect father in God - my boy of 6 said, "Well God can't throw a ball with me, Mom." Touché.<br /> <br /> In walked my knight in shining armor - actually a turnout coat and helmet, he is a firefighter. I was lucky enough to fall in love with a wonderfully giving man who actually asked my son's permission to for my hand in marriage. My son promptly asked, "Can I call you Dad now?" It warmed my heart so see the love they had for each other. <br /> <br /> In those beginning days of our marriage, my husband and I had several discussions on whether or not to add more kids to the mix. One day while listening to your show, you spoke about stepchildren being made to feel not completely part of the family once a new baby was brought into the mix. My husband and I decided then that "our" son would be the #1 priority and gave up the thought of more children.<br /> <br /> I have to tell you it was the BEST decision we ever made. It caused my husband and son to form an even stronger bond, not only does our 25-year-old son still to this day call my husband "Dad," he says, "I love you" frequently and seeks his dad's advise on just about everything.</p>
<p>Although, my son has never uttered those dreaded words, "You are not my dad, you can't tell me what to do," it was not all unicorns and rainbows. Teen years can be trying for any family, and especially hard on blended families. But we all agree the advice you gave was the key to making the bonding between my husband and son possible and allowed my son to feel secure in his place with the family.<br /> <br /> Thank you, Dr. Laura, for all you do for families such as mine - we have been blessed over the years by your words of wisdom and I just wanted to take this opportunity to let you know you changed the lives of three people for the better.<br /> <br /> Sincerely,<br /> <br /> Lynn</p>
Staff
2013-07-17T19:50:00Z
Major Inconvenience or Human Being
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Major-Inconvenience-or-Human-Being/700184867161562957.html
2013-07-16T18:50:00Z
2013-07-16T18:50:00Z
<p class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>We have two respectful, responsible, academic and moral sons ages 12 and 15. Notice I didn't say "beautiful" - haha. Both boys spend much of their time working on school projects, playing tennis, volunteering for our church, and various community service opportunities. My younger son is excited that he is old enough to volunteer his time at a children's museum this summer, as his older brother did last year. My oldest son just received top honors and was elected valedictorian for his graduating class, and will be attending a teen police academy this summer for a new and different community service experience.</p>
<p>As a stay-at-home mom, time is racing by, and I see on horizon them moving on in just a few short years.</p>
<p>Friends will often ask me how to handle discipline, school work, allowances, chores, etc. When I describe the way we handle these issues in our home, the reply is often, "Wow you should write a book!"</p>
<p>From childless acquaintances I often hear, "When I have a kid, I want them to be just like yours..." I then talk about the privilege of staying home and the impact of a mom's influence when the time comes for them to start a family.</p>
<p>Sadly, 100 percent of the time these "friends" have chosen to return to work and put their kids in day care or a nanny situation. They want what we have, but are not willing to put in the time, and are then dismayed that their kids are struggling academically, emotionally and spiritually. They justify this decision because they have found a "great nanny" who can speak a foreign language and the child will learn this new skill. Or in day care they can make friends and that is so important for kids. No. What's important is having a loving parent day in and day out. I have often said, "I don't care if the nanny is Mother Teresa, they are not ME."</p>
<p> As my youngest and I left our pediatrician's office today there was a ceramic artwork sign hanging on the exit door into the waiting room. It read "You are not raising a major inconvenience, you are raising a human being." I wish every parent would embrace that sentiment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alisa</p>
Staff
2013-07-16T18:50:00Z
Earning It!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Earning-It!/33070709667936155.html
2013-07-15T18:02:00Z
2013-07-15T18:02:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal">Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Money can do a lot of things- from ruining a person to making a person- in a sort of indirect way.</p>
<p>I grew up with a very hard working dad, a stay-at-home mom, five brothers and one sister. From the time I was 5 years old, I knew I wanted to be a teacher. Instead of playing dolls, I convinced my little brothers to sit still and I would take an old science textbook my mother had and look at the pictures and make up lessons based on what I thought the pictures showed.</p>
When I was 13 I started working weekends at an old folks' home washing dishes to pay for marching band trips and that soon morphed into also paying for my American university education. Yes, I knew even at 13 where I was going. I'm Canadian and so the cheaper provincial university would have been smarter, but it wasn't what I wanted. I didn't even bother going to my parents for school money. I knew it was completely up to me. The summer before school started, I worked 3 jobs and continued doing that every summer until I graduated university. I lived on very little, bought very few clothes, and went without things my roommates figured were needs, not wants. I graduated with a GPA of 3.8, was on the Dean's list and had helped pay for tuition with hard earned partial scholarships. While my roommates struggle with full-time class loads of 12 to 14 credits, I never took less than 18, sometimes as high as 21 credits. When my roommates would moan about their upcoming summer job in an air-conditioned office, answering phones, they would look at me like I was from Mars as I set up my old job washing dishes and bathing old ladies, plus adding delightful things like waitressing at the local greasy spoon and scraping gum off the floor of the old movie theater. One summer I interned at the elementary school for $10.00 a day from May 1 to June 30 in addition to my other jobs because I knew it would look good on a resume when I began job hunting. I did all of this without a vehicle to boot!
<p>So when I watch some of my former students party and fail courses because Mom and Dad are footing the bill, I just shake my head. Every now and then, I think how nice it would have been to have had help going to school, but then I shake my head and hold it high. I did it on my own- no help- no student loans- and I became a very good teacher. I didn't get to teach as long as I wanted to because I was diagnosed with some unfortunate illnesses, but nobody can take away what I accomplished. It is what made me focused and determined. And now that I am in a different kind of fight- I face it with the same determination.</p>
<br />
<p>Lani</p>
Staff
2013-07-15T18:02:00Z
You've Helped Me Become the Father I Am Today
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Youve-Helped-Me-Become-the-Father-I-Am-Today/842012442361451321.html
2013-07-12T17:02:00Z
2013-07-12T17:02:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p>On Father's Day this year, I was surrounded by my wonderful wife of 22 years and my four sons ages 14, 13, 11, and 9. They were hopelessly trying to BBQ steak and chicken for me and insisted I not help and not think about the height of the flames or the proximity of the grill to our home! And that's when I thought of you, Dr. Laura.</p>
<p>I feel you should be celebrated for helping me become the father I am today. I started listening to you upon the urging of my best friend in college - a female. Sharon and I would spend countless hours debating over your philosophies and views. I would debate with her that there was no reason why a woman has to stay home with her babies or who cares if you shack up before marriage, etc. One heated debate changed our relationship drastically. While driving Sharon home from school for summer break, I told her I had a great idea! If neither of us were married in 10 years we should live together and have a baby together! She calmly and politely told me she would think about it while I found the next exit so she could stretch her legs. Upon stopping, she asked if I would mind waiting with her until her sister could pick her up as she no longer wanted to ride home with me. I was so shocked! She explained that, as her best friend, she was hurt that I would think an "arrangement" such as that would be okay with her. She was really hurt that after all our years of friendship, it would be okay for her to be just someone’s "baby’s mamma."</p>
<p>I apologized and talked her into finishing the trip home with me. And although it was a very uncomfortable and silent ride, it gave me time to reflect. After four years of calling Sharon for her advice with my girlfriends, talking to her about every topic under the sun, and even asking her to feed me when my money ran low, I realized during the rest of our ride home that what I wanted, what I needed, and what I most desired in a woman was sitting right next to me! We began dating as soon as we returned to school and I asked Sharon to marry me exactly one month later. We were friends for so long, knew each others' families, and thanks to your show and our endless conversations, knew how the other felt about almost every situation – I didn’t want to wait to begin our lives together.</p>
<p>Having Sharon be our kids' mom was paramount for us so we put off having children until we could make that happen. We waited 8 years to have kids until my career was stable enough to live comfortably with Sharon at home. We both wanted to build our family by adopting and having children. Our plan was to adopt one child then have a biological child. We adopted our first son in 1999 at 18 days old. Long story short, we ended up adopting two more infants, both boys, in 2000 and 2002. Then we had our biological son in 2003.</p>
<p>I cannot tell you how much my four sons have changed our lives. Sharon home schools them and I've been fortunate to work from home for the last ten years. I tell my boys they do not know how lucky they are to have TWO stay-at-home parents when many children don’t even have one. They nod their heads, but I know they won't get the magnitude of this blessing until much later.</p>
<p>There's much more to our story and how you have helped us through the years. But I wanted to you to know that thanks to your radio show and books, you've helped this man find his perfect woman and become father to four magnificent men. I'm not a perfect father by any stretch of the imagination, and often make mistakes, but that's okay. I learn from my mistakes and keep my goal of contributing four outstanding men to our society in the forefront of all my decision-making.</p>
<p>There's an African saying that it takes a village to raise a child. I’m convinced you cannot do it effectively all alone. Well Dr. Laura, I just wanted you to know that you have been a treasured part of our village and after all these years of your coaching or nagging depending on situation wanted to officially welcome you to our tribe!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tommy</p>
Staff
2013-07-12T17:02:00Z
Thanks Alcohol
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thanks-Alcohol/-142966414642556602.html
2013-07-11T18:02:00Z
2013-07-11T18:02:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p>Moving thoughts about what having an alcoholic father does to a child…</p>
<p><br /> <br /> I will never know how it is to have a daddy kiss me goodnight.<br /> Thanks alcohol.</p>
<p>I will never know how it is to hear my daddy sing me to sleep, or read me a bedtime story.<br /> Thanks alcohol.</p>
<p>I will never know how it is to have my daddy come to my award ceremony and cheer for me as my name is being announced in elementary school.<br /> Thanks alcohol.</p>
<p>I will never know how it is to have a daddy hold me while I bawled my eyes out after my first heartbreak with a boy.<br /> Thanks alcohol.</p>
<p>I will never know how it is to have a daddy who truly loves, helps, and supports my mom.<br /> Thanks alcohol.</p>
<p>I HATE you.<br /> <br /> -A</p>
Staff
2013-07-11T18:02:00Z
Running the Convenience Store
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Running-the-Convenience-Store/226473984478694320.html
2013-07-10T17:00:00Z
2013-07-10T17:00:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br /> <br /> I first wanted to thank you for your wisdom through the years. I go all the way back to "Ten Stupid Things Men Do To Mess Up Their Lives" days. It was the book that allowed me to break some bad habits many years ago. It is also the book that is required reading for my teenage "sons" BEFORE they are set loose upon the world. (I have twin boys who turn 16 this month).<br /> <br /> In one of your emails, there was a "convenience store" analogy. I realized its significance to our home want to impart some wisdom to your listeners if you will allow. <br /> <br /> I am a "step" dad. My twins are my step sons. They are my SONS. I have close now to ten years of step parenting under my belt. Cutting to the chase, as with everything in life, we all have "choices". My choice in life was to never be an "employee" in anything I've ever done. I've always been entrepreneurial in everything I ever set out to do. I've enjoyed much success as a result. Paradigm is everything!: That being said, one can make the choice to sign on as a third shift employee or one can choose to OWN the convenience store. <br /> <br /> In our "convenience store", I am the "franchisee" and my wife is the "franchisor". And before I EVER signed on the dotted line, I did my "due diligence" to make sure that the "franchisor" was going to be the right franchise to invest my hard earned money and time in. This meant, I was looking for a franchise that was going to offer "great corporate support". Do they have the right products? Is the overall "product" consistent throughout their other "stores"? Do they invest in my success through "advertising dollars"? Do they have the right corporate manuals? (i.e. "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands," "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage", "The Ten Commandments" and, dare I say, "The Bible") Last, but not least, who was the REAL "CEO" of the 'franchise'. In our case of "Adam and Eve's Quick Stop" the REAL CEO's initials begin with the Capital "G". <br /> <br /> Failure on either side to honor the "franchise agreement" could result in termination of said agreement. <br /> <br /> In our 'store', my sons are not "trust fund babies", THEY are the "third shift employees" who have to learn the "corporate structure" and how the business WORKS before being given the opportunity to "buy in" to an opportunity of their own some day. Cain and Abel don't run the store, Adam and Eve do. End of corporate meeting. <br /> <br /> My 'sons' call me "DAD". They were never prompted or ordered to do so. It was merely through years of consistency and trust that they knew I WAS the dad in the "convenience store", and would run it according to the "franchise agreement" between the franchisor, the franchisee, and the real CEO. <br /> <br /> You can choose to run the store or forever stay in the graveyard shift.<br /> <br /> Blessings,<br /> <br /> Keith</p>
Staff
2013-07-10T17:00:00Z
Benefits of Martial Arts
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Benefits-of-Martial-Arts/428654849572145627.html
2013-07-09T18:02:00Z
2013-07-09T18:02:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />Last fall you had a caller who wanted to build confidence in their young son, and you suggested martial arts with a strong male teacher. Your other comments about the benefits of it for boys got me to wondering about one of my 4th grade students, and how martial arts would benefit his growth and development. Knowing his family could not afford lessons, I began looking for ways I could help fund lessons for this boy or other boys in similar situations of divorce, low income, rough neighborhood, etc <br /><br />A good friend and co-worker's husband has a black belt, and so does her son. I inquired if they would be able to teach my student as well as other at-risk boys after school in our gym. I understand it is tradition for former students to give lessons as a way of giving back to the martial arts school. Once she inquired and explained the situation to her husband, he talked to the owner of the Dojo, and the owner offered my student 6 months of lessons as a scholarship. His family agreed to the scholarship and the certificate for lessons was given to him as a Christmas present. After Christmas break, he told me all about his lessons and how excited he was. He does not know my role or my co-worker's role in his scholarship. He is now getting close to the end of his 6 months and just recently tested and passed his first white belt. The instructors have positive comments to say about this boy. I saw a change in his classroom behavior and when he would start to challenge me, I would ask him, "Would you do that in the Dojo?" He had a quick "No Ma'am" for me. I have stayed in touch with his instructors and kept them up to date on his grades and attitude. As the 6 months are coming to an end, I will look for other ways to help fund his instruction. <br /><br />Dr. Laura, thank you for all you do. You never know how your comments will change a situation or cause action by your listeners. Your commentary on the benefits of martial arts got me thinking, which got me into action - a side effect of listening to you - and hopefully changed the course of life for one at-risk boy. <br /><br />Much love, <br /><br />Lisa
Staff
2013-07-09T18:02:00Z
I Didn't Know Any Better
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Didnt-Know-Any-Better/-561052311388263866.html
2013-07-08T17:11:00Z
2013-07-08T17:11:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<div id="yui_3_7_2_1_1372875291627_3403" class="message content">
<div id="yui_3_7_2_1_1372875291627_3450" class="msg-body inner undoreset">
<div id="yiv1695806447">
<div id="yui_3_7_2_1_1372875291627_3449">
<div id="yui_3_7_2_1_1372875291627_3448" class="yiv1695806447WordSection1">Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />When I found you on the radio almost 20 years ago, I was driving a huge truck, as big as a dump truck. I hauled drinking water to people in the country with my over 2000 gallon water tank. I had just had my 4th child and was nursing. I also had my 2 and 3 year olds with me, and, part time, I had my 9 year old. The two youngest went with me every day, 7 days a week, 10 to 12 hours a day. I called it my 'day care alternative.'<br /><br />I was married to a bum. I had to pay the bills and would not leave my children...period. I had always done odd jobs to pay the bills and worked very hard. I have 5 children total now. I was in such an abusive marriage, both verbally and physically. He did not and would not work. And he was constantly cheating. He was a really bad person, but I was raised in an abusive home and did not know it was okay for me to GET OUT. I also actually believed I was doing the right thing by allowing my children to have a two parent family. They were never abused. But what I wasn't realizing was by them watching me being hit, it was changing who they were. I never left any of my children with anyone while I worked. I either took them with me or worked at night while they slept, and I did not sleep. <br /><br />When I first heard you, I was so desperate I clang to your every word every day. I needed someone to tell me I could leave. I had never been told or shown that what was happening to me was wrong. My mother was nice, but my father had a violent temper. My mother always did what he said and he beat my brother often. It was terrible. I finally realized when my children saw me being hit and called names, it was the same as when I had to watch my dad beat my brother and call him names. I always tried to protect my brother and I would never have let my children be hit or called names, but I had not realized I deserved better and that my children were being hurt so bad by the environment of our home. <br /><br />Thanks to your help I got out. I now have a happy home and hard working good children. I know that if you don't want to leave your kids, but have to work, it can be done. I feel so bad I put my children through all those years of watching and hearing me get hurt. It has had an affect on them, the 2 oldest mostly. They are good young men, but have scars. They are overachievers in attempts of being accepted. Although I have never made them feel that was necessary, the environment of our home when they were young has impacted them as adults. I am so very sorry. I hurt my children by staying in the marriage and I have apologized to them, but I can't take away what they saw and heard, like I can't erase the memories of what I saw when my dad hit beat my brother. <br /><br />Thank you for helping me understand some things are black and white. Back then I was living in grey, and felt I had to put up with a lot of bad stuff. Thank you for your words of wisdom.<br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Diana
<div><span><br /></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br />
Staff
2013-07-08T17:11:00Z
Lessons to Ponder
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lessons-to-Ponder/-233966806068708465.html
2013-07-03T18:22:00Z
2013-07-03T18:22:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<div id="yui_3_7_2_1_1372875291627_3403" class="message content">
<div id="yui_3_7_2_1_1372875291627_3450" class="msg-body inner undoreset">
<div id="yiv1695806447">
<div id="yui_3_7_2_1_1372875291627_3449">
<div id="yui_3_7_2_1_1372875291627_3448" class="yiv1695806447WordSection1">
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1372875291627_3559" class="yiv1695806447MsoNormal"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1372875291627_3564">Dear Dr. Laura:</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1372875291627_3581" class="yiv1695806447MsoNormal"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1372875291627_3580"><br />I have been listening to your show for several years now and have found the recent topic, "<em>Why</em> doesn't matter", very helpful. Let me preface this story by saying I am 50 years old and in pretty good physical shape.<br /><br />Approximately eight months ago, I was attacked and nearly killed by a stranger while riding my bicycle on a ride I have done thousands of times over the past 20 years. My attacker was 18 years younger, at least 4 inches taller and 40-60 pounds heavier than I.<br /><br />The "fight" lasted approximately 90 seconds. During that time my mind raced in a million directions. First, was "Why is this man running at me and why is he trying to hurt me?" Luckily, those thoughts didn't last long and I tried to recall techniques from a self-defense class I had taken 30 years ago. Not only was I at a disadvantage of age, height and weight, but I was also rehabilitating from a knee injury that had required surgical intervention.<br /><br />Ultimately, my life was saved by another cyclist who happened upon the situation. I had just met this particular cyclist the day before in almost the same exact spot! <br /><br />I am unable to get into too many of the particulars as this case is still pending, but here are a few of my lessons to ponder:<br /><br />1. It is true that you never know who you might meet one day may end up saving your life the next.<br /><br />2. Take a self-defense class and review techniques periodically. You have one MAYBE two chances to hurt someone trying to hurt you so you better make the first count. <br /><br />3. You don't have to be physically bigger or stronger to survive an attack, but you do need to be prepared.<br /><br />4. "Why" this man wanted to hurt me does not really matter. For several months I was waiting to hear about possible reasons but I have given up that notion. As far as I know he is not mentally ill and was not under the influence of drugs. I can only hope that he gets enough time behind bars to think about "why" and not repeat this type of crime again.<br /><br />5. I fought hard to live and I will not allow myself to now live in fear. The evening of my attack, I returned to the scene. I continue to ride this path - my favorite ride - but with a large can of mace in my front pack.<br /><br />Keep doing your show and telling your stories, comments, and opinions. You never know when or how they might ring true for a listener on any given day.<br /><br />Thanks!</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1372875291627_3583" class="yiv1695806447MsoNormal"><span><br />Diane</span></p>
<div><span><br /></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<br />
Staff
2013-07-03T18:22:00Z
A Woman Who Truly Treats Kindly
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Woman-Who-Truly-Treats-Kindly/-95654340425737689.html
2013-07-02T18:58:00Z
2013-07-02T18:58:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I'm sixteen years old, and I volunteer at a school for children who are blind or visually impaired. Yesterday, I was working in the front office when a woman came to pick up her child from school. She had been at the hospital all day with one of her other children, and she left her phone there by mistake. She asked if she could use the phone at my desk because she knew her husband was probably worried about her and trying to reach her. She called him, left him a message, and at the end of that message she said, "Baby, I know it's been a long day, and I'll see you soon! I love you very much!" When I heard that phrase, I immediately thought of you and your book <em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>. This woman, who was stressed out all day at the hospital still took the time to acknowledge she was not the only one dealing with the stress. Her husband was also, and she wanted him to know that she loved him.<br /><br />I can't tell you how many times I've heard wives leave messages for their husbands and never say those very simple but very important words. I asked a woman one time why, and she said that her husband already knew she loved him. But yesterday it struck me how much those words would mean to the man listening to that message. She definitely chose wisely and treats kindly. <br /><br />Love your show and all you do for people. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to share this with you and your listeners.<br /><br />Gabriel
Staff
2013-07-02T18:58:00Z
Living Within Our Means
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Living-Within-Our-Means/807167042553068547.html
2013-07-01T19:38:00Z
2013-07-01T19:38:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p>My husband and I bought our first house for its resale value. We drove an old junk car, but it was paid for. We shopped garage sales and Goodwill, and in general just did without.</p>
<p>A few years later, we sold that house and used the equity to buy a piece of land. We then lived in a $2000 motor home with our two children while we built the house, since that was the only way we could afford it.</p>
<p>We chose to put our money into structural and long term aspects of the house. And although ugly, we bought the cheapest lighting, baseboards, and door jambs as those are easy to replace later. We moved in one month before our third child was born. For most of the first year there, we had virtually no furniture. We still haven't replaced the cheap surface aspects of the house, but some day we will. </p>
<p>All this sacrifice turned out to be more worthwhile than we expected. When the bad economy hit, we were still right-side-up in our house loan and had a low payment thanks to the nice-sized down payment and the low original price of the house.</p>
<p>The irony is we've had quite a few people comment with envy about how much we have. But they are people who would never even consider doing the stuff we have done -- people who would never live in a rundown motor home, drive an ugly, yet reliable, car, or who would never consider putting cheap imitation wood baseboard in their brand new house. They don't seem to make the connection between the difficult decisions we made and the fact that we have more than they do.</p>
<p>How does all this feel? Good, very good. I look around me at my five-acre "kingdom" and I'm very pleased and grateful to God for His wisdom in our lives.</p>
<p>Roberta</p>
Staff
2013-07-01T19:38:00Z
Motherhood Is a Life That Transcends
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Motherhood-Is-a-Life-That-Transcends/-23684629721091589.html
2013-06-28T22:56:00Z
2013-06-28T22:56:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p>While it seems all the parents in the world dread the first day of summer, I look forward to the much-deserved break from homeschooling. I sat down on the couch and was engrossing myself in a task when my emotionally maturing 6-year-old sat down, frustrated again about something she couldn’t do. This moment can really only be understood when you realize I have been working so hard to help her. Part of the reason she zaps me of patience and energy is our personalities clash. Her brain ticks to a different tock and mothering her takes more effort, creativity and patience than I ever really knew I had. That has been the case since the day she was born. But, much more recently I have been trying to help her learn that mistakes are part of life. When her art doesn’t come out right, or her sister pushes her buttons, she goes to ultimate frustration in zero seconds flat and there is just no talking her down. She is very hard on herself. She is intelligent, but is deeply affected by others' feelings. She has a flair for drama and this of course makes me crazy .Basically I got smart awhile back and realized that the only way to ‘control’ her was to teach her to police herself.</p>
<p>So, here I was on the couch. She came up totally in a negative place and I began to talk to her eyes. I gave her examples of why she is her worst enemy. I explained the learning opportunities she has been given. I explained to her everything that I believe to be true about her personality. I explained my baggage in the whole mess. And then something happened I had not anticipated: my daughter started to cry. It was like a release of pent up emotion masked in a realization that it was actually a good thing to believe in herself. Her tears were my glimmer of hope that I am finally beginning to parent her in a language she can understand. There are still frustrations, but at least we are on the same playing field and that is really saying something for the two of us. I know, this kind of growth could only have been achieved by the secure attachment we have together and by being present at the exact time she needed it. I am a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom and I don’t do it for me, I do it in spite of myself as using my college degree seriously appeals to me, it is the right thing. Motherhood is not just a job, it is a life that transcends all others.</p>
<p>Deanna</p>
Staff
2013-06-28T22:56:00Z
No More Unpaid Whore
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-More-Unpaid-Whore/771384005619692183.html
2013-06-27T19:11:00Z
2013-06-27T19:11:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I'm writing to thank you for your infinite wisdom and advice.</p>
<p>One Christmas, my dad bought me your book, <em>10 Stupid Things Women do to Mess Up Their Lives</em>. I appreciated the gesture, however over time, the book collected dust on the shelf. I wish I would have read it right then and there.</p>
<p>The first couple years of college, I slept with a handful of men with whom I wasn't in a relationship. The summer after my sophomore year, I finally grew tired of being an unpaid whore. I remembered your book, picked it up, and read it in a couple days.</p>
<p>I met my now husband through a mutual friend who set us up. We started dating and finally married. We didn't end up living together for a few months after marriage, as we had always lived a state apart and I was searching for jobs down by him.</p>
<p>We just celebrated our 2nd anniversary and couldn't be happier. I've been listening to your program for the past 2 years after I got SiriusXM in my car, and have since re-read your book. Every day on my walk to work, I listen to your podcasts and have often nodded my head in agreement to what you say and will sometimes add in my own two cents aloud, forgetting about the hundreds of Chicago commuters amongst me.</p>
<p>You have instilled in me and my husband irreplaceable morals that we live out day by day. We are planning on having kids in the near future and I cannot wait to instill in them these same values. You will hopefully have a new listener within the next couple years. I can't thank you enough for your wisdom and also for making me look like a lunatic to my fellow commuters.</p>
<p>Yours truly,</p>
<p>Sara</p>
Staff
2013-06-27T19:11:00Z
Get to Know Each Other or Have a One-Night Stand?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Get-to-Know-Each-Other-or-Have-a-One-Night-Stand/-86376628624771206.html
2013-06-26T17:28:00Z
2013-06-26T17:28:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p>Dr. Laura, <br /><br />When we were dating, my now-husband introduced me to your show. I have been a fan for 16 years now. <br /><br />I often hear about shacking up and girls stating there are NOT a lot of guys out there who will wait to have sex until marriage.<br /><br />Many years ago, when I went on my first date with my husband, he picked me up and before we even left my driveway I learned he was honest and straight-forward. He asked me what I was looking for from this date: a friendship and fun time, or a one-night stand. I was taken aback at first , not being used to that kind of guy. He told me the answer determined what kind of girl he was taking out. If it was a one night stand, he was not interested. I was shocked, but gained instant respect for him. Never while we dated was it a question about either of our values and morals. (We did not shack up either). I have learned so much from this man throughout the years and am a better wife because of him!<br /><br />I have your book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and it describes what men need to a “T.” When I feel myself slipping, I re-read it to bring me back to my senses! <br /><br />To all those young ladies out there, there are "perfect" men; you just have to "choose wisely and treat kindly"! Those words could not be any more true! <br /><br />Dr. Laura, thanks for your impact on my husband when he was just a young man! <br /><br />Respectfully,<br /><br />Sandra</p>
Staff
2013-06-26T17:28:00Z
My Husband "Rocks"!!!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husband-Rocks!!!/46234019710824342.html
2013-06-25T18:40:00Z
2013-06-25T18:40:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p>I live in upstate New York and we had some severe weather recently. I was out to dinner with two friends when my husband phoned me to say our area was under a tornado watch. He asked me to phone him when I left the restaurant, which I did. <br /><br />At the top of our country road there was a landslide of large rocks and the only way to our home was completely blocked. The car before me ripped out his gas tank trying to cross landslide. There was traffic on both sides of the road with no way out. I phoned my husband to let him know the situation and that it might be some time before I made it home. <br /><br />Moments later, my husband walked up the road and started to pick up rock by rock and move them to the side. Other men in the stranded cars saw this and started doing likewise. Within minutes, we were able to drive through a small path that was cleared. As I watched this from my car, I thought about what you say on-air -- "Would your husband swim through shark infested waters to bring you a lemonade?" All I can say is, "Yes!" <br /><br />Thank you for your show. <br /><br />Lesa</p>
Staff
2013-06-25T18:40:00Z
Our Differences Make Us Strong
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-Differences-Make-Us-Strong/-251428509257167479.html
2013-06-24T19:41:00Z
2013-06-24T19:41:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p>Dear Dr Laura,</p>
<p>The difference between men and women I think can be illustrated best by how my soon-to-be wife and I bought our house. You see for her it is a home. As we looked at the house, she was thinking of this color for the furniture that would match the color of the walls and something else that would accent the back splash of the kitchen. She sees a home while I'm thinking, "Man, this wall will be great for the big screen TV. And, wow, what a nice size garage - my tools will fit nicely along this wall." You see, Dr Laura, for me, women are more relational than men. They like the touching, hugging, and flowers; while, as men, we can forgo those things as long as there is food and a roof we are good. We just need to remember we are wired different and that it is a union of these differences that makes for a strong relationship, not the, "I need him to be more like this" or "I need her to be more like that." Rather it should be we are different and in this difference we will be strong individually and even stronger together.</p>
<p>And no, Dr Laura, we will not be living together until our marriage in August. My soon-to-be wife will move in first, prepare the house for our family attending our wedding, while I will be staying at a friend's until that day we take our vows.<br /> <br /> Thank you for all you do!</p>
<p>Doing it right because I am a gentleman first,</p>
<p>Shelford</p>
<p class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
Staff
2013-06-24T19:41:00Z
Realizing I Do Have Power
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Realizing-I-Do-Have-Power/832960055391560592.html
2013-06-21T17:40:00Z
2013-06-21T17:40:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"><br />Normally, I am very outgoing, talk all the time, and work very hard to keep my man happy in every way. Recently, I went through a funk, and during this time I noticed that my husband got increasingly moody, short tempered, and withdrawn. My husband has always been very loving and attentive, but it is close to impossible to get him to talk about emotions.<br /><br />I finally had it with him being grumpy and in a very straightforward and abrupt way told him he needed to get over it, if he didn't want to tell me what was wrong. His response totally floored me. He said "You are not happy and I can't fix it. I feel like I am failing you."<br /><br />After recovering from the shock, I explained to him that my mood wasn't about him, and I was sorry I had affected him so much. These few very loving words from him showed me how much he loves me and how much his well-being does depend on my mood and our relationship being strong. Once again, I realized you are right when you say that women have the power in a marriage.<br /><br />I am a very lucky woman to have a man who works hard to take care of me, and to be a strong role model to our 5 children, and 4 grandbabies. Thanks to you, I will work hard every day to be the loving support he needs and show him just how happy he makes me.<br /><br />Tracey</p>
Staff
2013-06-21T17:40:00Z
My Moral Compass
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Moral-Compass/-760178641631929374.html
2013-06-20T18:12:00Z
2013-06-20T18:12:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Thank you for continuously posting letters and emails from listeners, as well as writing in your blogs. <br /><br />I have always known that I want to live a more traditional lifestyle, but in my generation it's very difficult. I am in my mid 20's, and have refused to "date-around" just for fun, and have never had a man spend the night with me. My biggest goal in life is to get married, have a few children, and live a modest, happy life. Currently, I am an elementary school teacher and I love my job, but have no misconceptions that it will end the day my first child is born. That's the day my career as a stay-at-home mom will begin, and I am so excited just thinking about that adventure! <br /><br />I know what I want, but in my generation, it is so common to sleep around and have no respect for yourself that occasionally I find myself losing sight of why I am holding out for my future husband. My friends are constantly going through guy after guy, and television is even worse. That's why I schedule some "Dr. Laura Website" time each day. It's because of the letters and blog posts that I'm able to remind myself I'm worth the wait. You remind me that I don't want to bring children into this world without both parents. You remind me that women should not be unpaid whores, and choosing to have self respect means I'm in control. <br /><br />I'm in the process of choosing wisely, and I will keep your books on my bookshelf to re-read as a reminder to always treat kindly. Thank you for being my compass! <br /><br />Sara</p>
Staff
2013-06-20T18:12:00Z
Husbands Are NOT Burdens
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Husbands-Are-NOT-Burdens/-187127292327891117.html
2013-06-19T18:21:00Z
2013-06-19T18:21:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"><br />I was blessed to be given your book, <em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em> as a wedding present. My wonderful husband and I were several months into our marriage when I finally read it and let me tell you, our marriage abruptly took a turn for the better!<br /><br />I had fallen into the stereotype of how a wife should act. I would come home from work and say that I was too tired for sex...I LOVE having sex with my man, but somehow society brainwashed me into thinking that a tired wife should not put out for her husband! I thought, "I've worked so hard making other people happy all day, why should I have to come home and take care of him too?" Looking back, I cannot believe what a selfish and yet also self-destructive thought this was!<br /><br />In the media, there are only two types of sex portrayed: 1) passionate and exciting premarital sex with near-strangers and 2) begrudging sex where women deign to give in to their needy husbands. I found myself entrapped in this sophistry. After reading your book, I discovered that having a loving husband is not the "burden" that gossip groups, sitcoms, and feminists tell you it should be. My husband is wonderful, and I love that he finds me desirable. Three years later, I have never turned my husband down for sex and I never will.<br /><br />Ever since I got my act together, my husband is the confident man he deserves to be. He feels safe with me, knowing that I will never reject him. Not only am I paid back with satisfying sex, but he does everything in his power to make me happy! NOTHING works better for improving a marriage than improving yourself!<br /> <br />Thank you for your inspiring and sometimes stinging words! They have helped me become the wife I should be and they have helped me have the marriage I always wanted!<br /><br />Melissa</p>
Staff
2013-06-19T18:21:00Z
Having It All Together!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Having-It-All-Together!/834106001644973253.html
2013-06-18T22:30:00Z
2013-06-18T22:30:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"><br /><br />Recently, a caller told you she was jealous of a woman she knew who seemed to have it all together. You told her to tell the woman nicely that she saw her in that way, and then just sit back and see how she responded.</p>
<p>Years ago, I was dropping off one of my children at kindergarten and the teacher stopped me and said, "I really admire you, you have so much going all the time and you always seem to have everything together. I wish I could say the same for myself."</p>
<p>I stopped, laughed and hugged her. I said, "See this?" slipping off my shoe. "I almost left the house in one black shoe and one brown shoe. When I ran back in to find a match to my brown shoe, I noticed a run in my pantyhose which I stopped with this hot pink fingernail polish. Hopefully, it will last all day. Also, when I was getting the kids into their car seats to come to school, I caught the hem of my skirt on something in the car and ripped out about 6 inches of the hem." I turned up my skirt to show her. "I fixed that with scotch tape until I can scrounge around for some safety pins! Just because I look like I have it all together doesn't mean I don't have things that are falling apart. I am just like the proverbial duck, calm on the surface and paddling like hell underneath!"</p>
<p>We had a great laugh and became closer friends immediately!!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Chris</p>
Staff
2013-06-18T22:30:00Z
He Strode Out of the Darkness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Strode-Out-of-the-Darkness/750870107766829454.html
2013-06-17T19:59:00Z
2013-06-17T19:59:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<br />
<p>Long before I married, my mother looked at me and said, "I have no doubt you're going to have a good life whether or not you marry." <br /> <br /> The other night I was on the phone with my husband. It was late and I was returning from an evening of volunteering at the local rescue squad. The road home was a misty county road out of my response area. As I came over a hill, I nearly hit a vehicle. It was sideways in the dark with a person clutching the side. I saw another vehicle in a field, and a third surrounded by people. Startled I said to my husband, "Oh no! I have to go." Without further ado I hung up on him. <br /> <br /> Once I had determined that fire, EMS, and police had all been called, I did the basic things that any first responder is trained to do, and then I waited. Once the emergency services personnel showed up and I handed off patient care and stepped back. Standing on the side of the road, bathed in engine flood lights and the blue of police lights, I chatted with members of the engine company. <br /> <br /> Out of the darkness (and I would swear the night parted for him) strode my husband. He moved with a militaristic sense of purpose. When he got across the road to me, he said simply, "Are YOU okay?" His finger pointed at my chest. I nodded. He then pointed to where my car was blocked by the ambulance. "Is your car okay?" Again I nodded. "Okay", he said satisfied, "I'm going home." <br /> <br /> While I did apologize for hanging up the way I did, I have been glowing for a week. When I couldn't answer my phone, my husband came, found me, and made certain I was safe. There is no doubt in my mind that, as long as he is able, he will make my life secure in ways I would not be able to do for myself. <br /> <br /> My mother is right: I would have had an interesting life even if I was unmarried. However she was also correct that marriage, when thoughtfully entered into, has its own set of dynamic blessings. <br /> <br /> I pray for women to have the bravery to wait for someone who will be willing to come out of the darkness just to verify that they are okay.<br /> <br /> Or, as you say… swim through shark infested waters.<br /> <br /> It is worth the wait.</p>
<br />
<p>Georganna</p>
Staff
2013-06-17T19:59:00Z
My Father's Perseverance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Fathers-Perseverance/-530105178037033193.html
2013-06-14T18:00:00Z
2013-06-14T18:00:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />My dad is the kind of man that all men should strive to be. Is he perfect? Not by a long shot. I would never pretend that he was, but in ways where it matters the most, the vast majority of men pale in comparison. In 1950, at the age of 20, he was drafted into the Army to fight in the Korean War, was promptly captured by the Chinese and held as a prisoner for 27 months. When he was finally released, he returned home a man whom no one knew. His family related to him as the boy he had been and did not yet know the man he had become, or understand the trials he'd been through. <br /><br />He found himself at a crossroads needing direction and a new beginning, and he found that in my mother. She had not known him prior to his service and took him for who he was. Where lesser men might have wallowed in self pity, my dad set to the task of raising a family and working hard. We always had what we needed and most of what we wanted. And he always made me feel special and as though there was nothing I couldn't do. <br /><br />Now, in his last years, he can barely walk, but does it anyway...knowing that the minute he stops trying he's done for. And he can't give up, because he now takes care of his "sweetheart", the woman he credits for saving his life 60 years ago when he'd come home lost and without direction. She doesn't remember much anymore, but he remembers for the both of them and how she worked beside him and gave him a home and a purpose in life when he really needed it. <br /><br />My dad has been steadfast where it mattered, always putting his family first, raising his daughters with a healthy respect for his authority while instilling confidence and pride in who we are...all while dealing with the memories of his life experiences that few of us in this day and age could ever fathom. When times get hard for me, and I start feeling sorry for myself, I stop and consider my father's perseverance and realize that my life is just really not that hard. <br /><br />When his generation is gone, I fear we will never see the likes of such men again. But, the man he is will live on in me and my daughter and her children...and I can't thank him enough for that. <br /><br />Joy <br />
Staff
2013-06-14T18:00:00Z
Learning to Cope with Loss Through a Child's Eyes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-to-Cope-with-Loss-Through-a-Childs-Eyes/-418972672082291519.html
2013-06-13T18:00:00Z
2013-06-13T18:00:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> <br />A few months ago, my dad, who was 91 years old, passed before my eyes. It is hard to imagine that he was there for my first breath, and I was there with him for his last. It turned out, however, that the best way for me to cope was to listen to my young daughter. Recently she learned a song called, "There's a Little Wheel Turning in My Heart," and asked me, "What's in your heart today?" She suggested I say Pop-Pop. "And what is he doing in your heart?" I had to think for a moment. My dad used to sing the ABCs to her in his own unique way to make her laugh, so I said, "Pop-Pop is singing the ABCs." Next she said, "Now ask me." When I did, she replied: "Pop-Pop." "And what is he doing in your heart?" "He is doing drawings with me," she answered. This very simple song brought it together for me. <br /><br />My dad is in my heart in so many different ways. I admire his amazing mind and his strength. He was a WWII veteran, and his generation was tough. <br /><br />I am thankful for the sharpness of his mind and his loving manner that he still had at the age of 91. His body just couldn't go any longer. My dad's legacy and gift to our family was each other. Now my sister, my mom and I must immerse ourselves in our memories. If we all could embody more of Dad's qualities, life indeed will be sweeter. <br /><br />With all this being said, the one thing that will help me cope is remembering he is in my heart.<br /><br />Sandi<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2013-06-13T18:00:00Z
Dear Dad - A Proud United States Marine
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dear-Dad---A-Proud-United-States-Marine/-210810579115566411.html
2013-06-12T18:00:00Z
2013-06-12T18:00:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<br />"You showed me what it means to have an undying love and pride in our Country - You had so much love for your Fellow Marines, you always found a way to show each and every one that you crossed paths with that they were your brothers. When you returned home from the Vietnam War - You were met with people who spat in your face, while others shouted at you calling you horrendous names. You selflessly sacrificed so much of yourself, paying the price for these people to have the freedom to show you the hateful disdain they had. You lived the rest of your life, not once receiving a single thank you... I know this broke your heart more than you would ever let me in on, and I don't think there is a soul in the world that would have blamed you for being bitter. Instead, you taught me the importance of never missing the opportunity to genuinely thank a soldier for their service, that be it from the Marine Corps, The Army, The Air Force, and yes, even the Navy. (wink)<br /><br />The last few months of your life, you were so excited to be a first time grandfather, and to give your grandson life-long memories filled with love, fun and an exuberant amount of happiness so he could remember you. It was only a short 8 months that you had with Conner before you became overrun with thoughts and images that are too horrific for most people to even imagine. As the time went on, it began to take over. And then before we knew it, it was relentlessly robbing you of your joy in life, your joy in your family you loved with all your heart, and even the excitement you had in being a grandfather until it ultimately robbed you of your life.<br /><br />We live our lives never forgetting the sacrifices that you and so many other brave men and women selflessly gave so we can enjoy the Freedoms you paid for. I want so badly for you to know we could never spend just one day out of the year to memorialize that fact. It makes me so sad you never got the chance to meet your granddaughter. I know for a fact she would have had you tightly wrapped around her little finger - just the way I did when I was a little girl. <br /><br />Every day that has gone by since you left Dad, I can't help but miss you more and more. What I would give just to talk to you one more time. The things I would tell you, especially making sure you knew the gratitude I hold in my heart for you being the father that not too many people are lucky enough to get. You and your baby brother never got a father since yours abandoned you when you were just 5 years old, never showing an ounce of interest. <br /><br />You were never really taught how to be a dad, yet I can't imagine anyone being a better father than you. You made sure I knew just how much I was loved, you did things with me, you were there even when it was impossible for you to be there, you found a way no matter what. <br /><br />Even though your grand-babies won't get to have those fond memories that you were so excited to give them, they will have a lifelong honor in knowing they are the grandchildren of a United States Marine who gave the ultimate sacrifice that paid for their freedom. And through me, they will get to have the kind of parent you showed me how to be, and that makes them pretty darn lucky. <br /><br />I love you and miss you every day.<br /><br />Your Daughter,<br /><br />Kelley"<br />
Staff
2013-06-12T18:00:00Z
The Dad Who Delivered His Own Son
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Dad-Who-Delivered-His-Own-Son/247279993345256651.html
2013-06-11T18:00:00Z
2013-06-11T18:00:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
Okay, Dr. Laura, it was baby #4 and my labors are pretty quick. Usually the contractions build, my water breaks, and we have the baby within a couple hours. This time around I just felt funny and achy. But we decided to call my mom to come over just in case things picked up. Twenty minutes later my mom arrived and we headed to the hospital knowing this was the real-deal. On the drive my water broke, my contractions were only 2 minutes apart, and I could feel it was almost time to push.<br /><br />We got to the hospital and buzzed to be let in since it was 10 pm. NO ONE CAME. So my husband pried the door open and practically carried me to a wheel chair. A nurse rolled me back while my husband explained himself to the cop on duty. <br /><br />The nurses meanwhile were asking me all kinds of check-in questions. I calmly answered but said, "I'm ready to have this baby now." The nurse patted me and said, "It's okay, honey. Do you want an epidural?" I said, not so calmly, "No, the baby is coming RIGHT NOW!" <br /><br />My husband walked in as I said that, lifted me from the wheelchair onto the bed, and whipped off my jeans. The nurses were shocked. Our son's head was emerging! The nurse looked dumbfounded at my husband and said, "I'm not wearing gloves!" My husband, calm as could be, looked at me and said, "He's here. You can do this. Push!" Out our son Samuel came into his Daddy's grubby hands as the nursing staff stood by in shock. <br /><br />My Superhero Hubby placed our son in my arms and we both cried. An intern walked in just as my husband delivered our son and said, "That's the most amazing thing I've ever seen." My husband soon became hospital legend as staff came by to meet the dad who delivered his own son!<br /><br />I'll never forget how my husband rescued me that night. That experience typifies who my husband is and how much he treasures me. Sam is now 3 and worships the ground his Daddy walks on. <br /><br />Michelle<br />
Staff
2013-06-11T18:00:00Z
Real Men Are About so Much More Than Themselves
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Real-Men-Are-About-so-Much-More-Than-Themselves/138622723096644510.html
2013-06-10T14:00:00Z
2013-06-10T14:00:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
Thought you might like to see a letter to my father-in-law. This falls in the category of men teaching their sons well:<br /><br />It's been over thirty years since you became family to me. I was a young girl who hardly knew what to do with a dad in my life again, but I knew you were a special gift from God to complete my life in this area. Right from the start, Mother and you asked me to call you "Mother" and "Dad" and you meant it. You welcomed me into your family as one of your own and made me feel like a daughter. I had myself a new family to love and who loved me well.<br /><br />Thank you for raising such a fine son. Your love, your character, and your time investment in him made my husband the man he is today. I was the blessed recipient of a man who knew how to love, how to take care of his family, and how to treat his wife. All this is even more impressive since you were building this legacy from the ground up. You decided to rise above your abusive upbringing and you truly did it. You let love into your heart and showed your son how to love by how you cherished your wife and family. Your son loves with a sacrificial love and he learned this from you. As his wife, I am especially grateful for this.<br /><br />You've been an amazing grandfather to our children and now their spouses. You have shown them how to live with purpose and trustworthiness and love. You have invested in them with your support and by always being there for things that were important to them. Whether it was the many soccer games, choir concerts, or their graduation, you took the time to come and show them that you cared. This was huge to me because you taught us how to honor others by saying through your actions, "If it's important to you, it's important to me." <br /><br />You are also my model for how to grow older with grace. You and Mother continue to show us how to live a full, active life with church, friendships, travel, and learning new things such as languages and piano. You teach us that it's never too late to try something new. You remind us to be thankful for good health, to take care of yourself by staying fit. I look forward to growing older because of what you've taught us.<br /><br />You set an awesome example for living authentically. You surround yourself with a loving community through your church, men's club, YMCA friends and neighbors. You help others constantly and volunteer with veterans and children in schools. You stand for the highest of morals and live them out with integrity. <br /><br />To sum it all up: You love God with your whole heart and serve Him with devotion and reverence. You live out life to the fullest. And, you are about so much more than yourself.<br /><br />Dad, for all this and much more, I thank you; I respect you with the highest of honor; and I love you dearly. <br /><br />Annette<br />
Staff
2013-06-10T14:00:00Z
Why We Didn't Shack Up Before Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-We-Didnt-Shack-Up-Before-Marriage/149278743239203290.html
2013-06-07T18:16:00Z
2013-06-07T18:16:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
When my husband and I became engaged, we shared our news with everyone in our lives. People we knew who were happily married were excited for us. However, our family and friends who were divorced, single or unhappily married were worried for us: "You're so young!" "You hardly know each other!" "You haven't even experienced life yet!" None of these things was true, and I have to laugh at the last concern; isn't getting married about experiencing life "together"? <br /><br />One of the biggest worries we heard, however, was that we needed to try living together before we got married. The list of "what-ifs" was endless, but my husband-to-be and I knew we did not want to go down that path. When we made our commitment to be together, we wanted it to be binding, not some wishy-washy “trial period.” <br /><br />Well Dr. Laura, I am so glad we stuck to our guns because it has had a huge effect on our attitude toward each other. If we had decided to shack up together and see how things went, then I think we would have been watching for signs of trouble. I might have let it get to me he never puts his dirty clothes into the hamper, or he might have decided my habit of leaving boxes of feminine hygiene products on the sink was just more than he could handle. Instead, we made a commitment to one another. He is my husband and always will be and I love him, so I pick up his clothes every morning, because I'm his wife. I don't let it bother me because if dealing with dirty clothes or occasionally having to take the garbage out is the trade-off for having such an amazing husband, well then I happen to think I got pretty lucky. <br /><br />The difference between "let's see how this goes" and "let's make this work" is the difference between failure and success in a marriage. And for the record, as one of my co-workers predicted, I really do love being married. <br /><br />Bekky<br />
Staff
2013-06-07T18:16:00Z
My Mom Is a Hero; My Dad Is a MAN
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Mom-Is-a-Hero;-My-Dad-Is-a-MAN/-483687638218926780.html
2013-06-06T18:05:00Z
2013-06-06T18:05:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I have heard you call women who placed their babies for adoption your heroes. My mom is one of them. When my mom was 20 she made a mistake and got pregnant. The man who got her pregnant stepped up and proposed to her, but my smart, spiritual, wise mom knew that a young partying college student wasn't ready to take care of a family. She decided to place her baby for adoption and temporarily moved to the city where the adoption would take place. The MAN who got her pregnant was determined to take care of his family. He quickly grew up, got a job, got a house, got baptized into her religion and followed her to the new city. He then proposed again and they were married 2 weeks after the baby was born (my mom looked great!). It is 35 years later and they had 4 kids - all of us are now married and have kids, in that order. We had our fair share of tough times, but I always knew I was loved by a mom AND a dad.<br /><br />I want to thank you for advising unmarried women to go for adoptions and for single ladies to find a MAN. When I was looking for the right man to marry, I knew he would have to be accepted by my father and 3 brothers. I know for a fact that my decision would have been much different if I didn't have a good example of a real man in my life. I am so grateful I chose to marry a MAN who will do the same for my 2 girls and boy. What a difference it makes to have 2 quality parents.<br /><br />Thank you for trying to save humanity.<br /><br />Melanie
Staff
2013-06-06T18:05:00Z
Please Be My Girlfriend, Again?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Please-Be-My-Girlfriend,-Again/672608505258933228.html
2013-06-05T18:14:00Z
2013-06-05T18:14:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />What follows is a note written to my wife this morning. 13 years ago she had a traumatic brain injury that has changed her and the dynamics of our marriage. And I was diagnosed with early onset Parkinson's disease 6 years ago. And if that isn't enough, we just said goodbye to a precious and dearly loved 14-year-old son after a 9 month battle with bone cancer. Nonetheless, I strive to be my wife's boyfriend and long for her to be my girlfriend.<br /><br />Dear “B:”<br /><br />You said something last night before bed that concerns me. You said, as I heard it, that you resent me wanting you to read the book, T<em>he Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>, so that I can be nurtured by you. If I heard you correctly, I have reason for concern. And quite simply I went to bed sad.<br /><br />I am "all-in" in this marriage and I need it to grow and thrive. I know that this is a very difficult time, but I am right here with you. I am going nowhere. I know growth takes time and I understand that. But I want to, and need to, see we are taking baby steps in the direction of more intimacy. And yes, sex is a part, but only a small part!<br /><br />Over the last 13 years, I have felt I lost my girlfriend. And sorry to bring it up, but the only time I saw you excited about being someone's girlfriend, I was not him. And this brings me back to the book. Every day I hear women on Dr. Laura's show calling in boasting they are their husband's girlfriends and talking about how that attitude has changed their husband and their marriage. I am both green with envy and sad I am not one of those men.<br /><br />Honestly Love, many times I feel like a once-loved, but now discarded, pair of shoes at the back of your closet. I want to yell out, "See me. Look at me! I am still beautiful! Remember how great we once looked together? Give me another try! Put me on with some different clothes and see how I look! And yes, I have some dust on and don't quite have the shine I once did, but with a little TLC (nurturing), you'll be surprised at how far we can go and how great we can look and feel together."<br /><br />I am with you until the end, and I know you love me, but I am feeling much like those shoes and I would love to be your boyfriend. I just can't do it without being taken out and polished on a more regular basis. And I would love it if you would like to be my girlfriend! I do love you….<br /><br />Wes
Staff
2013-06-05T18:14:00Z
Okay, You Were Right
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Okay,-You-Were-Right/852780962048117175.html
2013-06-04T18:40:00Z
2013-06-04T18:40:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1370368647420_5370" class="yiv1480934505MsoNormal"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1370368647420_5632">Dr. Laura,</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1370368647420_5589" class="yiv1480934505MsoNormal"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1370368647420_5590">You and I go waaaay back. In 1978 I called to talk with you about my upcoming marriage. When you asked me how old I was and I replied 18, you quickly in true Dr Laura fashion, told me I was wanting to play house and asked if I realized how ridiculous the notion was that I would consider making such an adult decision when I was a child. You also said something to the effect that you had pants older than I was.</span></p>
<p class="yiv1480934505MsoNormal"><span>Well, I was quite certain that I was indeed old enough to marry and thought you were completely out to lunch with your so called "advice".</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1370368647420_5591" class="yiv1480934505MsoNormal">Now here I am about to celebrate my 35th anniversary with the man I was about to marry at the time of that call. I'm not writing to tell you how wrong you were and how our love conquered all in spite of my young age. On the contrary, I am writing to tell you how completely right you were. My marriage has been extremely difficult because the people we became didn't even resemble the people we were when we walked down the aisle. We couldn't be. Physiologically, it was impossible as our brains weren't even finished developing at that age. The reason we are still together is shear stubbornness on both of our parts. We are both too stubborn to fail. Through the years we have kicked, clawed, screamed and yelled our way into a real and mature loving relationship and although our marriage still takes work, we are finally hitting our stride.</p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1370368647420_5619" class="yiv1480934505MsoNormal"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1370368647420_5618">I wanted to tell you, all these years later, that although I poo poo'd your advice, I now thank you for being the only voice of reason during that time. Our own parents didn't even stand up and at least try to explain that what we were about to do was foolish. I just wish someone would have echoed your advice and tried to save us many, many years of difficulty.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1370368647420_5630" class="yiv1480934505MsoNormal"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1370368647420_5629">Our children cut their first teeth on your show and now our grandchildren are becoming third generation Dr. Laura listeners. I am quite confident they realize you indeed do know what you're talking about, respect your opinion and have learned from their parents stubborn and immature mistakes.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1370368647420_5621" class="yiv1480934505MsoNormal"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1370368647420_5620">Although I didn't take heed to your advice all those years ago, you can be certain my children and children's children will not be repeating that mistake. They know better because they grew up listening to you and have learned what you mean when you end each program with "Now go do the right thing."</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1370368647420_5628" class="yiv1480934505MsoNormal"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1370368647420_5627">Thank you for hanging in there with all of us for all these years.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1370368647420_5623" class="yiv1480934505MsoNormal">Mary</p>
<br />
Staff
2013-06-04T18:40:00Z
Are You There For Your Kids?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Are-You-There-For-Your-Kids/-977617698352996701.html
2013-06-03T21:25:00Z
2013-06-03T21:25:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
Dear Dr. Laura: <br /><br />Before my son was born, I was a school teacher. My plan was to wait a year, teach to put my husband through his last year of school and then get pregnant and "retire" forever to be that “idealistic stay-at-home mom.”<br /><br />By the time I had my first son FOUR years later, I was involved in teaching and in being an active member of my church. As he began to toddle and show his independence, I became more active in "outside" activities. I didn't go back to teaching because I didn't want to be labeled a "working mom," but I took on tons of projects and church obligations that kept my focus "unfocused" as to where my priorities should be. <br /><br />One day my son taught me a lesson I will never forget! We had a small house with a wall phone that had a long cord that stretched across the entire room, including the kitchen. I was engaged in my normal morning routine of making breakfast. I had my back to the kitchen, while I was scrambling eggs, and I was simultaneously talking with a church friend. The cord was stretched tightly across the kitchen in order to reach the stove. Suddenly the conversation literally was cut off. The phone cord snapped against my legs, surprising me enough to turn around quickly. Standing in the middle of the kitchen was my three-year old son with a shocked look on his face. The large pair of scissors was still opened in his hand -- he had cut the cord of the phone in two! I think he thought he was going to be punished, but instead, my mind flooded with the lesson that he had just driven home with his actions: "Mom, I am here for you, but are you really here for me?" I picked him up in my arms and told him that everything was OK. Mommy would replace the cord with a short one and spend more time talking and sharing thoughts and ideas with him! Breakfast, by the way, was wonderful! <br /><br />Barbara<br />
Staff
2013-06-03T21:25:00Z
Blended Family Stress
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Blended-Family-Stress/72671906010144956.html
2013-05-31T19:12:00Z
2013-05-31T19:12:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
Hi, Dr. Laura!<br /><br />When my husband and I got married, we became a “blended” family. Over the course of our 9 year marriage, here are three issues that we have experienced that we’d like to share with others in similar circumstances:<br /><br />1. Jealousy between the kids, especially the girls. My stepdaughter lived with her mom and was very jealous because she didn't get the time with her dad that my daughter did. Then my husband adopted my daughter and it went from bad to worse for a while. <br /><br />2. My son wanted his bio-dad, not his step-dad. He was continually rebellious and disrespectful from the get go. That situation was the cause of most of our arguments. Although my husband did everything he could to be a father to my son (bio-dad dropped out of the picture), my son did not want to accept his filling that role and still doesn't.<br /><br />3. We have had a lot of drama with ex-spouses and custody battles. Ultimately the kids suffer regardless of the outcome.<br /><br />My husband and I have tried very hard to make the best of our blending, but sometimes it's just hard...Well, a lot of times it's hard. We try to be the best parents possible and do everything we can to make life better for the kids and our family.<br /><br />We both agree with your recommendation to wait until kids are grown before getting remarried, but since we hadn't heard your advice until after we had married, we did the absolute best we could.<br /><br />We love our "bunch" but we have never been and most likely will never be anything like the "Bradys" (except maybe in pictures).<br /><br />Shaunna
Staff
2013-05-31T19:12:00Z
My Happy Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Happy-Husband/621974358968094072.html
2013-05-30T18:15:00Z
2013-05-30T18:15:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />During breakfast, there was a promotion on the radio to win dinner and a show. They called it a 'date night.' My husband (who I didn't know was even paying attention), said, "Every night's a date night at our house!" <br /><br />What better way to know that the advice in your book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" is working! I read it years ago, and admit that at first I had to reread it every year or two for a booster. The hardest part was curbing my sharp tongue. Funny, once I mastered that, I no longer seem to see anything to comment negatively on. I have a wonderful husband, and I plan to keep him happy for another 35 years (yup, already married that long). <br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura. People should really follow your advice even if they are skeptical--try it because it works.<br /><br />Pamela
Staff
2013-05-30T18:15:00Z
Eat or Be Eaten
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Eat-or-Be-Eaten/719924090192443755.html
2013-05-29T19:09:00Z
2013-05-29T19:09:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p>My husband had a rare afternoon off of his busy schedule, so we decided to take our one-year-old to the zoo. While there, we had an interaction with a father and his 18-month-old girl that I thought very significant.<br /><br />We were playing with our daughter at one of the zoo's activities. The 18-month-old came up to where my daughter was playing and pushed her out of the way. My daughter stepped back without a fuss and the dad apologized to us, saying his daughter is a "brute" and "knows how to get what she wants." A grandmother nearby watched both little girls play for a moment before turning to me and asking "Does she go to day care?"<br /><br />I answered, "No."<br /><br />She turned to the other father and asked the same question. He said "Most definitely yes."<br /><br />She then commented that you could tell by how the girls behaved that one went to day care because she was so pushy and knew she needed to push other kids out of the way to get something. The dad laughed and said, "Yeah. She pretty much knows it's eat or be eaten at her day care."<br /><br />Eat. Or be eaten. <br /><br />After he walked away, the grandmother turned to me and said quietly "You're doing the right thing. I know most people have to work, but you're very lucky you can be at home with your baby. It's a luxury."<br /><br />The truth is, I AM very lucky. But what she doesn't know is that by almost everyone's standards I "need to work" too. My husband is in his last year of school and doesn't make a living wage. When we had our daughter, we both agreed that I would leave my job (then our main source of income) and stay at home with her. Our income dropped almost fifty thousand dollars annually. <br /><br />But we bought a modest house in a modest neighborhood while our friends bought houses twice the price. We don't eat out often anymore. We don't buy new things. We budget. I work evenings from home. We make it work. And we're very, very happy.</p>
<p>And I know by doing so my sweet, innocent one-year-old daughter will grow up in a loving home where she never has to worry about choosing between "eating" or "being eaten." And my husband can come home at the end of his long day to a peaceful household. That is worth way more than 50 thousand dollars a year to me.<br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, for encouraging young families to do the right thing and to choose wisely and treat kindly. I know that I chose very wisely in my husband. And we both treat each other very kindly. <br /><br /><br />Keri</p>
Staff
2013-05-29T19:09:00Z
Why Have Women Given Away Their Power?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Have-Women-Given-Away-Their-Power/-807937861925748098.html
2013-05-28T17:14:00Z
2013-05-28T17:14:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I believe the current culture of casual sex and meaningless hookups is wrong. Many of today's current problems wouldn't exist if guys kept their pants zipped and women kept their legs closed. I'm no saint, though. If I were in my 20s, I'd probably be after the same thing. Thankfully, I'm in my 50s, a little older and a lot wiser. <br /> <br /> I think that even though what these people are seeking is wrong, it is the men who act honestly, and it is the women who are lying to themselves. The men make no secret of the fact they aren't looking for a relationship. They don't want a commitment, and are not looking to provide and protect the women they sleep with. They are, as you put it, just looking for a warm place to put it. They are clear about that and don't try to mislead anyone. It is the women who aren't being honest with themselves. They've been lied to and told they can sleep around and not have it mean anything. However, when the guy sleeps with them and then never calls again, they are hurt. The women call the men immature jerks and worse. The truth is that the men are acting just like they said they would. The women don't want to believe the truth. The <em>women</em> are the ones without integrity.</p>
<p>The real problems appear if the woman gets pregnant. They expect the man to come through and either marry them or pay child support. Maybe it's the right thing to do, but the men were clear that they never wanted that. The women have much more to lose, and it's too bad they don't realize this before they sleep with the guy. Unfortunately, it's the child who has the most to lose. Either the child is sucked into the sink, or destined to a life of being the child of a single mother with all the associated problems. <br /> <br /> One of the mantras of feminism is that they act to empower women. The funny thing is, in matters of relationships, family and children, women have ALL the power - they always have and they always will. It's a real shame that they've given it away.<br /> <br /> Thank you, Dr Laura for always fighting for children. It's the noblest of causes.</p>
<br /> (signed) Dave….Just a Middle-Aged Guy<br /> <br />
Staff
2013-05-28T17:14:00Z
The Progressive Feminist
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Progressive-Feminist/112092857278445969.html
2013-05-24T19:49:00Z
2013-05-24T19:49:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal">Dr Laura,<br /><br />I have come to the following conclusions based on THE many calls you receive. Feminists will hate it, but the truth often hurts.<br /><br />This is the way feminists believe females should approach life:<br /><br />1. Get an education and start a career.<br />2. Get married to a man who wants you to work, and buy a house with two incomes so you can have things.<br />3. When children come along, abandon them to day care.<br />4. Be proud of your additional possessions -- your children.<br />5. If you make more money than your husband, make him a stay-at-home Dad, which emasculates him and he may turn to drugs and other women.<br />6. Begin to disrespect your husband who is not being a provider, has strayed, and is addicted.<br />7. After you have had all the children you want, dispose of the needed sperm donor and connect with a new stud to help you raise your children. They are now your children since you put their father out to pasture.<br />8. Have a child or two with the new sperm donor.<br />9. Call Dr Laura because of the mess you have made of your family.<br />10. Follow Dr Laura's recommendations.<br /><br /><br />Stanley</p>
Staff
2013-05-24T19:49:00Z
Sleeping with a Clean Conscience
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sleeping-with-a-Clean-Conscience/516077132205219137.html
2013-05-23T18:09:00Z
2013-05-23T18:09:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal">Hello Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I was “shacking up” with my boyfriend for over 2 years. I always felt it was not right, but did it anyway. Then I saw a book called "Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives" and learned that I fell into a few of the categories. Even worse, I have a son. I couldn't live with myself any longer in my shack-up situation. I finally put my big girl panties on and moved out!!!! I ended up living in a home with several other people. It was tough being in a roommate situation, but I did sleep a lot better.<br /><br />I continued dating my boyfriend, but soon after felt used since he did not take steps to make our relationship legitimate. So, I decided to break up with him and let him go.<br /><br />Shortly after that, my ex-husband asked me to marry him again. After being divorced for 8 years, he wanted to start fresh for our son and ourselves. We did not live together before we were married and did things the right way. Dr. Laura, I have never felt happier. We were married on November 16, 2012. It takes work, but the inner satisfaction I feel for doing things the right way has been a great cure for my insomnia. Nothing is softer than sleeping with a clean conscience.<br /><br />I am now a very happy homemaker and want everyone to know that yes, you can get out of being "stuck" in a shack-up arrangement, but only if you WANT to. Thank you for your words of wisdom Dr. Laura, you are my HERO!!!!<br /><br />Roz</p>
Staff
2013-05-23T18:09:00Z
Man's Best Friend
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mans-Best-Friend/537029404483769202.html
2013-05-22T17:17:00Z
2013-05-22T17:17:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal">Hi Dr. Laura!<br /><br />I have been a long time listener to your show which has motivated me to take objective looks at my marriage from time-to-time...especially in how I treat my man. <br /><br />We have a black Labrador who is joined at the hip to my husband when he is home. Before my husband even pulls into the driveway, the dog is already at the window barking and yelping. As soon as the door is opened she runs out to greet him, nearly tackling me in the process. I know that a dog is supposed to be a man's friend, but I wanted some of those warm fuzzies too. So I decided to begin greeting my husband in the same way as the dog. Now when his truck pulls in, I drop whatever I am doing and rush to his truck before he gets out. I let him know how happy I am that he is home and help him carry his things inside. He loves the special attention and warm greeting. It is a wonderful way to start our evenings together. <br /><br />Thanks for being there, Dr. Laura, and for speaking truth to those who will listen. <br /><br />Linda</p>
Staff
2013-05-22T17:17:00Z
Reasons to Put a Lock on the Bedroom Door
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Reasons-to-Put-a-Lock-on-the-Bedroom-Door/-88383325659178098.html
2013-05-21T19:08:00Z
2013-05-21T19:08:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal">We have 4 kids (ages 4 to 11), so my husband and I don't have a lot of free time to "visit" with each other. We have to be creative about when our "visitation" occurs. Lately, we have tried to wait until we are sure everyone is asleep. It worked well for a while, but recently, when we were smack dab in the middle of a particularly enjoyable visit, we heard a tiny voice say, "Is Mommy ok? Why is she breathing like that?" Talk about a mood killer. My quick thinking husband, replied, "Oh it's just mommy's asthma." (I do have asthma, so it wasn't a completely out of the blue response.) My younger kids accepted this, but my oldest (and savviest) daughter, knew what was happening. She and I had the "talk" 2 years ago. I have always been very frank with her. and she knows she can ask me anything. As a result, when I actually had the talk that got specific about sex, it went smoothly and wasn't at all awkward. <br /><br />After that first interruption, my husband and I were having another late night visit. My oldest was not asleep like she was supposed to be, and this time instead of a small voice, we hear a clear voice say, "Um, can you and mommy get a handle on her asthma and maybe keep it down a little?" She totally busted us, and was using our own words back at us. Fortunately, since we have already covered these topics, she wasn't traumatized, even though she knew perfectly well what her parents were doing. My awesome and clever husband, quickly responded with, "That'll teach you not to go to bed when you're supposed to." She laughed, and we laughed. She went back to bed. <br /><br />My parents were NEVER able to talk to me about serious issues -- not about sex, not about anything. My husband and I agreed we would always talk to our kids about the important things. Because we have followed through with that philosophy, what could have been a ridiculously awkward situation, turned into a funny anecdote. Instead of scarring my daughter, she knows her parents have a close relationship. I'm so thankful that I have such a good relationship with my kids. I'm even more thankful that I have a husband who is clever and really good at "visitation"! <br /><br />Thanks for all you do, Dr Laura! This stay-home mom appreciates you!! <br /><br />Amelia</p>
Staff
2013-05-21T19:08:00Z
Parents, Tell Your Kids What You Think About Their Dates
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parents,-Tell-Your-Kids-What-You-Think-About-Their-Dates/-931886898489872284.html
2013-05-20T17:31:00Z
2013-05-20T17:31:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal">Dear Dr Laura,<br /><br />I adore you for your straight talk and no nonsense approach to people's issues. I wish more parents would be so straight forward with their kids, instead of worrying about hurting their feelings or sparking rebellion further by igniting disagreement. <br /><br />I am about to turn 40 years old and my husband of 18 years has left me for a bar floozy. He just felt he deserved to "try out" others and see what it was like. I never thought I would be divorced. I treated kindly, I was his girlfriend, I was an excellent wife and mother to our kids. The thing was, I didn't choose wisely. I was very young when we married and had little dating experience to draw on. I thought commitment was enough. I had asked everyone I knew with more experience for advice before we married and no one ever suggested that we should wait. No one said, "Gosh, don't you think you'll be a different person when you are 28 than at 21?" Not one person spoke truth to us. I have since asked my parents why they never said anything to me about the warning signs in our relationship that they saw, and all I got was a vague answer about how they thought it wouldn't matter. <br /><br />But it would have. I thought their word was law. I chose my college based on their words, staying in state instead of leaving the country because of an off-hand comment that neither of them now remember. I chose my clothes modestly because of the example they set. I chose my church to match their values. I ate, drank and slept in accordance with the values they had raised me. I thought about their ideals every day of my life, even when I decided to break a rule, I still was thinking about it. So why, at the very most important decision in my young life at that time so far, would I have ignored their warnings? I would not have. Just two years before, I dropped a guy like a rock because a complete stranger said he was bad for me - how much more would I have listened to my loving parents? <br /><br />My point is, it is fairly agonizing to go 20 years slowly discovering problems that everyone around you were predicting all along. It would have been great if someone had said at the start of all of this, "Hey, I see this problem - want to avoid it?" At least then I would have been making an informed decision. <br /><br />I do not regret my time spent in this marriage as I have my most precious and beautiful children. I do regret the impact that this has had on their lives. They deserved better. All I can do now is give them the directness and love that I had hoped I would had been given.<br /><br />Please tell parents to be direct when they see something wrong. <br /><br />C.</p>
Staff
2013-05-20T17:31:00Z
If He's Not The One - Dump Him!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/If-Hes-Not-The-One---Dump-Him!/654213047062638444.html
2013-05-17T19:39:00Z
2013-05-17T19:39:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"><br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />As a teenager I listened to your show and read "10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives." When I was 28, I met a teacher that I fell hard for. He was fun, loving, affectionate, and everything I wanted. About 3 months into the relationship, I started learning things about him that made me start to think he wasn't someone I wanted to be with long term. His family was a mess, he had severe debt, and drank more than I was comfortable with. The final straw was when he told me he cheated on me but was really sorry, and he only did it because he was drunk.<br /><br />As I cried that night alone, thinking about what I was going to have to do, your voice popped into my head. I knew I had to get rid of this guy. I kept thinking "what would Dr. Laura say," I knew you’d be disappointed, and I knew there was no way I would have a future with someone like this. As sad as I was, after this very short relationship, I broke up with him. I cut all ties completely. In the months following the breakup, I was sad, but never once did I second guess my decision. I fell in love with the idea of this perfect guy, but it wasn't reality, and when I found that out, I left.<br /><br />I'm now 33 and engaged to a wonderful man. I'm getting married a little later than most people, but waiting to find the right guy was worth the wait. My advice to other young women is don't settle. When you know he isn't the one, don't stay, thinking something will change. I'd rather be alone and know that better things are possible, than stay with a loser and know that better things will NEVER be possible.<br /><br />Keep up the good work!<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />Kate</p>
Staff
2013-05-17T19:39:00Z
The Finer Things....
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Finer-Things..../444544400925329345.html
2013-05-16T18:57:00Z
2013-05-16T18:57:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"><br />Dear Mother Laura,<br /><br />Today I am beaming with joy as I celebrate my 10th anniversary to my hottie boyfriend of a husband. I worked hard to find the man of my dreams and I was smart enough to choose wisely. I had seen firsthand what a broken home can do to a child, and refused to build a family on a cracked foundation. When I got married, ten years seemed so far away. As a young bride I always imagined that by now we would be rich and we would celebrate with some romantic and extravagant vacation. We might be traveling the world to some exotic place or maybe we would go to a bed and breakfast retreat. Maybe I would upgrade my diamond ring to some something bigger and shinier. Yes, by ten years we would have it all and all my friends would be jealous.<br /><br />In the brief quiet of the morning I sit here with a cup of tea and a smile on my face as I realize how very different things are than I had once imagined. The last ten years seem to have had a different idea for my youthful dreams. I find myself in a modest little house booming with the noise of four growing children. A freckle faced 9-year-old boy who can build just about anything out of Legos. A spirited 6-year-old daughter with her first "looth" tooth. And 2-year-old identical twin boys who keep me on my toes as their curious minds have them running in two different directions. They greet me each morning with an exhilarated "Hi Mamma!"<br /><br />I celebrate ten years not with the sparkling of diamonds, but with the sparkling of four pairs of eyes looking up at me. I celebrate not at a bed and breakfast, but by bringing breakfast to my husband who is under wifely orders to stay in bed. I smile at this man whose eyes have softened and whose heart has grown. This man who works long and hard so I can be home to wiggle "looth" teeth, collect sticky kisses, build castles out of Legos, see first steps and hear first words. I also get to go on all sorts of adventures in my magical backyard. My kids are able to take me to any exotic place I want to go with their unending imaginations. I celebrate not in a fancy dress, but in yoga pants and gym shoes.<br /><br />I smile because I realize things may not be so different than I had once dreamed they would be. What I have is better than diamonds, vacations, and pretty clothes. What I have is truly what I would consider rich. What I have is ten years of living among the finer things. I truly do have it all and I may even have a jealous friend or two.<br /><br />Happy Anniversary to the man who I love like never before. Thank you for giving me this life full of beautiful things built upon an unshakable foundation.<br /><br />And thank you, Dr. Laura, for teaching me to choose wisely and treat kindly. I am here as proof that those two ingredients can create the finest of things.<br /><br /><br />Much love,<br /><br />Shannon</p>
Staff
2013-05-16T18:57:00Z
He Protected My Virtue
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Protected-My-Virtue/-997737831527852745.html
2013-05-15T18:49:00Z
2013-05-15T18:49:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"><br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />My son met his wife four years ago. About a year into their relationship she asked me out to breakfast. She explained that I needed to know her past. She had lived with a boyfriend and she had not been raised with Christian values, as my son had. Then she said something very important that I will never forget. <br /><br />"If your son had asked me to move in with him, I would have. He didn't. In fact, he said up front he would never live with someone before marriage. Your son has protected my virtue and because of that I feel no shame in this relationship." <br /><br />It was at that moment I knew she was going to be my daughter-in-law. I was never prouder of my boy! At 27, he had made decisions for his life that not only protected himself from heartache but protected his future wife's virtue. It is what a man is supposed to do! <br /><br />A year ago, they were married at the age of 30. It was a blast to watch them plan a wedding, find a place to live and start a new life. They are now in the process of moving closer to our family in this next year so they can start a family and have the love and support of an extended family for backup. It doesn't get much better than that. <br /><br />"HE PROTECTED MY VIRTUE." I will never forget those words and the impact they could make on society if we would just do the right thing. <br /><br />Love you Dr. Laura. I've been listening to you for 24 years now and I know you also had a major impact on my son! Thanks and keep speaking out! We need to hear it.<br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Susan</p>
Staff
2013-05-15T18:49:00Z
My Mother's 180
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Mothers-180/850680600465386605.html
2013-05-14T20:27:00Z
2013-05-14T20:27:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"><br />Dr. Laura: <br /><br />Recently, you opened your program talking about mother and daughter-in-laws' relationships. I believe the reason friction exists is because of feminism. <br /><br />In a time where disdain for husbands is a commandment in the feminist bible, a woman's son is about the only man for whom a woman's love overrides her disdain. <br /><br />The biggest 180 on record was my mother's change in attitude towards wives respecting their husbands that occurred when I got married. Growing up, my mother all but ruined my dad's life through disrespect and angry dissatisfaction. Spending hours a day with female coworkers where criticism of husbands dominated most discourse, it was dogma that husbands deserved no respect. Not surprisingly, my mother did not get along with her mother-in-law. <br /><br />Flash forward to my marriage. Now that her son is the husband, suddenly my mother has a completely different view on the respect husbands deserve. My wife treats me exponentially better than my mom did my dad, yet to my mom, it is still not enough. <br /><br />Perhaps the question that should be asked more often is, "What would I think if it were my child?" <br /><br />Warmly, <br /><br />Jay</p>
Staff
2013-05-14T20:27:00Z
My Dear Wife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Dear-Wife/-141434624362367240.html
2013-05-13T17:46:00Z
2013-05-13T17:46:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal">Dear Dr Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal">My wife listens to you religiously -- in the house, in the car, etc. and I simply want to thank you for helping her have a great attitude towards marriage and life.</p>
<p class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal">Last week, she bought some new glass drinking tumblers on the internet in a closeout. When they came, they looked great; however, one of them has a sharp spot on the seam where the glass was made. I looked at it and said, "No big deal. I can take a small tool I have and sand it off." She said "great" and set the glass out for me.<br /><br />Well, fast forward two days…. I came out of the bedroom this morning to make coffee, and the glass was next to the coffee maker with a note. It simply said, "I'll show you my boobs if you'll sand the glass today." No nagging, just sweet fun humor. The glass is getting sanded first thing when I get home. <br /><br />Thanks again.<br /><br />Sincerely yours, <br /><br />Greg</p>
Staff
2013-05-13T17:46:00Z
Important Lessons Learned from My Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Important-Lessons-Learned-from-My-Mother/497104411729081609.html
2013-05-10T17:39:00Z
2013-05-10T17:39:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"><br />We escaped from Hungary in late 1945 with the Communist army just a few miles from our door. A makeshift train had been quickly assembled by a band of patriots including my father and we and other families loaded whatever we owned into boxes and set off towards the border. <br /><br />We didn't know if we would make it safely, as the Communist army was still at our heels. There was also little food and we often left the train to go into farmers' fields to gather whatever we could to survive. We came under attack from fighter planes and had to run and hide in the forest. As we lay in the woods my mother covered us with her body as we heard bullets whiz by and hit the branches above us. What I remember most was my mother always doing what had to be done, putting her fears and feelings aside as the survival of her family came first. <br /><br />After spending several years in Europe, we realized there was no hope for freedom and no going back to our beloved ancestral homeland. My father had been in government and was an outspoken critic of both the Nazis and the Communists. We would have simply been executed as many were that stayed or went back. So we left everything behind, home, relatives, and belongings, everything that was dear to us because freedom was more precious than that and came to America as displaced persons. We applied for American citizenship and became citizens five years later. <br /><br />Those first years in America were difficult. We had no work history here and had to start again in mid-life. It took its toll on my parents. My father died suddenly and left my mother to care for three teenage boys. She again put her fears and feelings aside and put the survival of her family first. She worked harder than ever and saved every penny she earned. Jobs were difficult to get and keep; she spoke broken English and had an accent that was not appreciated. She went on day by day until we were all out of high school and in college. My mother taught us to become independent because she saw she could not give us what other parents could and we would have to earn that for ourselves. Because of her love and dedication we survived. She passed away at 97 and left a legacy of love of family, of hard work, of character as well as an estate put together by a poor woman one penny at a time.<br /><br />But she left me the greatest gift of all. I married a woman like that.<br /><br /><br />Fred</p>
Staff
2013-05-10T17:39:00Z
I'd Like to Tell My Mom...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Id-Like-to-Tell-My-Mom.../39314465548406695.html
2013-05-09T18:00:00Z
2013-05-09T18:00:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"><br />In 2003 my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. My younger sister, who lived in another state, tried to provide the right care for her and my Dad, but after mom fell for the third time, Mom was put in a rehab facility. When I walked into the facility to visit her, one of the nurses said to me, "You must be Evelyn's son. You have her beautiful smile." <br /><br />I was told she probably would not recognize me. Not only did she call me by name and light up with that smile I inherited, she said, "Are you here to rescue me?" That statement hit me like a ton of bricks. I had to excuse myself to go into the hallway so she would not see me crying. <br /><br />We celebrated her 85th birthday together. She was very alert and understanding most of the time we were there and even my dad said, "This is the best she's been aware in many months." <br /><br />Looking back, there are so many things that I'd like to thank her for teaching me as a child: encouraging me to play music, striving to sing well, having a good work ethic or being a good Christian. She’d talk to a stranger at the grocery store, and I’d ask if she knew them. She responded "I didn't, but I do now." These are the lessons I fall back on as an adult. <br /><br />I'd like to tell her again how I appreciate all of the time she spent with me helping to shape me into a sensitive real man. <br /><br />Thanks for your time Dr. Laura and thanks for what you do. <br /><br />Daryl</p>
Staff
2013-05-09T18:00:00Z
My Children's Incredible Grandmother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Childrens-Incredible-Grandmother/-318684628120067480.html
2013-05-08T21:26:00Z
2013-05-08T21:26:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"><br />My mother passed away at only 62 years of age after a 15 month battle with Lou Gehrig's Disease. It was horrible watching my independent, loving mother become more and more dependent and unable to do things for herself. She left behind not only me, but 7 grandchildren whom she dearly loved. <br /><br />My mom was a FABULOUS grandmother. She taught my kids things like how to sew on buttons (a skill she knew to be essential for boys!), how to set a proper table, and how to count and tell apart colors for my younger ones. She brought projects for each holiday; baked with them; and read to them. She would notice when I was in need of more dish towels, or a new skillet, or when she felt the kids “needed” a box of Goldfish and bring them the next week. She loved them unconditionally. She was an extremely astute judge of character (a quality I sorely lack). <br /><br />It’s almost 3 years since she passed away. Nine months after she died, nearly to the day, I welcomed my 8th child, a girl I named after her. She would have loved my daughter’s feisty personality and her determination. She is strong and sure of herself like my mother. I am so sad my Mom isn't here to see how her two oldest grandsons have grown in to fine young men. She would have been so proud they are both attending college (the first in our family!). She would have loved to see her granddaughters become young ladies. <br /><br />I wish for her, that she never became sick with that terrible illness...because, even though I am 39 years old, I still want my mother and I miss her every day. <br /><br />Love your parents and your children, because tomorrow is never a guarantee. <br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura!<br /><br />Mindy</p>
Staff
2013-05-08T21:26:00Z
Motherhood: It's the Best of Times; It's the Worst of Times
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Motherhood:-Its-the-Best-of-Times;-Its-the-Worst-of-Times/117792053006477239.html
2013-05-07T18:59:00Z
2013-05-07T18:59:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"><br />Dr. Laura: <br /><br />I am blessed to be the at-home, homeschooling mom to three daughters - number four is due in just over three weeks! Hands-down the best part of mothering is the time I get to spend with them. I love the time we have to read books, build puzzles, work on school, play together, have "tickle" fights, and laugh our heads off at the hilarious things they do and say. I smile and laugh so much because of my girls, and I cherish the richness they bring into my life. That is the best part - the richness they bring through the time we have together doing the small stuff of life. <br /><br />The hardest part, by far, is the mommy guilt and the fear -- the guilt that constantly nags at me that I'm not doing enough, or not doing it right, or they won't end up learning what they need to learn to be successful adults. And there are the fears over their growth and development, over their safety, and over their futures. I have never felt truer words spoken than those of Elizabeth Stone, which we've all surely encountered by now: "Making the decision to have a child - it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." That is simultaneously glorious and terrifying. <br /><br />And there in a nutshell is the best and worst of being a mother for me. <br /><br />Kari</p>
Staff
2013-05-07T18:59:00Z
Memories of My Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Memories-of-My-Mom/-75895732507393736.html
2013-05-06T18:29:00Z
2013-05-06T18:29:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"><br />When I was little, my mama always put our needs and wants above her own. We were very poor and grew all our own fruits and vegetables, had chickens, and got our milk from family members who owned cows. She made everything from scratch and never complained. She took us to church every time the doors were opened and taught us music and reading and love and compassion. She was the most beautiful person inside and out to everyone who knew her. She always went out of her way to do for others inside and outside our community. My mother would go so far as to have lemonade or sweet tea waiting for the mailman, the water lady and the UPS people. She knew when to fight and when to give in, and was the sunshine after the rain.</p>
<p>One of my favorite silly moments occurred when I was 7. She was pregnant with her fourth child and working very hard in the June heat picking potatoes. She was 8 months pregnant and about to pop, but tending her garden meant her kids would not go hungry. She bent over and split her pants all the way up the rear end. We laughed until I thought she would need to run to the bathroom! She loved to laugh and make us laugh. Because of times like that, I can now laugh at myself when things don't always go my way.</p>
<p>Sadly, she and the baby passed away a few weeks later, but 26 years later, I can still see those ripped pants and that smile I inherited. I was so blessed to have the kind of mom I want to be myself. I am, and will always be, my kids' mom. And I hope that one day, my girls will have the same love and pride that I felt for my mom.</p>
<p>Angela</p>
Staff
2013-05-06T18:29:00Z
To the Bride and Groom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/To-the-Bride-and-Groom/368704380266567229.html
2013-05-03T19:23:00Z
2013-05-03T19:23:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"><br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />Recently, my son married his beloved girlfriend. My short speech at the wedding was partly inspired by, and even directly mentioned - you. Thank you for many years of reason. (signed) Lior. </p>
<p class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal">To the Bride and Groom:<br /><br />We all dream of leaving a mark; of making a difference in some major way. But as we grow, we learn what really matters is love: to our families, our spouses our friends, to God.</p>
<p class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal">In the small country of Israel, where Mom and I were born, there are two lakes. Both are fed by The Jordan River. One lake is a source of life. It is filled with pure, fresh water, and abounds with fish. It supports a rich eco-system; it provides water for millions of people. The other lake is full of healing benefits and rich in vital minerals; but there is NO life in it. It is so salty that it can sustain no life at all.<br /><br />How can that be? The answer is this: the Dead Sea, takes in the water from the Jordan River, but no water flows out of it. It takes, but does not give. The other Lake, the Sea of Galilee, also takes water from the Jordan in the north, but then it gives water to the south. This process of taking as well as giving allows it to constantly replenish itself. Relationships are much like these two lakes. A relationship can only thrive when it gives as well as receives.<br /><br />A wise woman has summed up the so-called "secret" to a great marriage as the mere presence of two ingredients. First, she says, "Choose wisely." Second: "Treat kindly." Right now, the two of you are half way there.<br /><br />Love,<br /> <br />Dad</p>
Staff
2013-05-03T19:23:00Z
Spending a Joyous Eternity
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Spending-a-Joyous-Eternity/895702047851662910.html
2013-05-02T20:01:00Z
2013-05-02T20:01:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />At 89 years of age, my dad had already had a couple of life-threatening episodes before he broke his hip and went to live at a nursing home. He always held high hopes of going back home to live, but never could regain quite enough strength to do so. He had health issues that required an occasional hospital stay, and several stays seemed as though they would result in his death. But just when the day seemed darkest, he would rally and recover. <br /><br />As a result, even when the hospice nurse assured us that the end was imminent, and as I sat at his bedside, I was profoundly disillusioned when they eventually pronounced his death. How was it possible that, even at the age of 95, this strong, durable man could really be gone when so many times before he'd been able to recover? <br /><br />It's been close to two years, but I continue to feel that huge void in my life. Even so, I have many dear memories I hold on to and recall often. <br /><br />I have come to realize I never did actually say, "Goodbye," but I finally did manage a "So long, Daddy; 'til we meet again." This was mainly because I know he'd not want us to prolong our grief. <br /><br />This earthly life is but a vapor. I'm looking ever forward to spending a joyous eternity with my loved ones in that land where we'll never grow old. <br /><br />Donna</p>
Staff
2013-05-02T20:01:00Z
This Guy Manned Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/This-Guy-Manned-Up/-676023440779206109.html
2013-05-01T22:20:00Z
2013-05-01T22:20:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2263" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2262">Dear Dr. Laura,</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2193" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2192">I helped make the unemployment numbers go up!<br /><br />I was new to my one-weekend-a-month job and was introduced to a GUY in one of the shops. (I'm old enough to be his Mother!) He was saying his wife just had a baby and she was upset because she would be going back to work soon. I asked him why she wasn't staying home and he went on about how if he had to work, she should too. They had bills. Why should she waste her degree? And other garbage that was just making me mad!</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2266" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2265">I said "You've got to be kidding me! Before you know it, he won't be a baby anymore! Man up!" He looked at me, smirked, shook his head and said, "You just don't get it!" I could feel the tensions rising and left.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2268" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2267">At lunchtime, I walked into his office and asked to borrow the keys to his truck, so I could go have lunch. He looked at me totally confused and said, "What?" I said, “What's the problem? You'll leave your baby with someone you don't know all day, but you won't let me drive your truck?" I shrugged my shoulders and left.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2177" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2178">The next month this MAN came up to me and said, "I just want to thank you. I sold my truck and my wife is staying home with our baby. I've never seen her so happy!" I told him how proud I was of him and that he'd never regret the decision. I swear he looked different! He looked proud and he looked like a <strong><em>man!</em></strong></span><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2279"> </span></p>
<p class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2279"> </span></p>
<p class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2279">Sherry<br /></span></p>
<p class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"> </p>
Staff
2013-05-01T22:20:00Z
I Didn't Listen to My Boss and Couldn't Be Happier
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Didnt-Listen-to-My-Boss-and-Couldnt-Be-Happier/536118399587418552.html
2013-04-30T19:31:00Z
2013-04-30T19:31:00Z
Dr. Laura,<br /><br />When I first became engaged to my husband, my boss was adamant that we "just be engaged" for a few years. She told me it'd be better if we "shacked up" and didn't do anything as drastic as committing to marriage. "If you learn anything from me while working here," she said, "do not get married."<br /><br />I was taken aback. Almost all the women in the office were on their second or third marriages, and their favorite pastime was husband bashing. Luckily, having been raised by loving parents who took great pains to instill values and the sacredness of marriage, I knew this was a world I didn’t want to be part of.<br /><br />Much to the chagrin of my boss, my husband and I married without waiting years or shacking up. Expecting our first child this June, I was recently in "Hormone Land" with doubts about my ability to be a good mother, staying home full-time (a decision we had agreed upon before marrying), and finding our footing as parents.<br /><br />As I voiced my concerns to my patient husband, he simply took me in his arms and said, "Do you know what this kid is thinking? He's thinking, 'I've hit the jackpot! I'm going to have a mom and a dad who have an intact home, who love and are committed to one another, and who are actually excited to start a family with me.' That's what he's thinking. How many other kids can say that?"<br /><br />As I listened to his wisdom, it dawned on me how correct he was. I've listened to you for many years, Your voice of reason, and those of my parents, led me to wisely choosing a man with whom to raise a family.<br /><br />It really doesn't matter if we don't have a foothold on parenting yet. What does matter is that the pillars and determination for a strong family unit are in place. The rest will follow with dedication, hard work, and sloughing off the vain words of the world.<br /><br />Thank you, thank you.<br /><br />Always listening,<br /><br /><br />Haley
Staff
2013-04-30T19:31:00Z
A Much Needed Wake-up Call
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Much-Needed-Wake-up-Call/-401772451955807824.html
2013-04-29T17:27:00Z
2013-04-29T17:27:00Z
Dr. Laura,<br /><br />You and your show never cease to humble me and teach me something. I am a long time listener, and about 2 years ago, your book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" changed and saved my marriage. <br /><br />I was listening while I was getting ready for my 31 week pre-natal appointment. I totally related to a caller who needed advice about how to be nice to her husband when pregnant, even though her hormones were taking over. Since being pregnant myself, I too had fallen into a bad pattern of this, and your advice was EXACTLY what I needed to hear! Telling her to imagine she only had one month left with her spouse before he died hit home with me. From that day on, it brought my perspective back to where it should be. Any time I feel like nagging my husband, your words pop into my head, and I make the decision to keep my mouth shut and treat kindly! Something so simple has made a huge impact. I see a difference in my husband, and I am much happier as a result. I heard you tell another caller "this too shall pass" so I try to remind myself of that as well, when I am having a hard pregnancy day. <br /><br />Thank you so much for your show. It has truly been a blessing to me, and has taught me so much! You make me feel proud to be my husband's girlfriend, and in just 8 short weeks, my kids' mom not only to a loving 5-year-old son, but a brand new baby girl. Thank you again, and an early Happy Mother's Day!<br /><br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br /><br />Julia
Staff
2013-04-29T17:27:00Z
Granddad's Little Girl
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Granddads-Little-Girl/-571353150212249080.html
2013-04-26T18:11:00Z
2013-04-26T18:11:00Z
Hello Dr Laura,<br /><br />When I was 5 years old, I visited my grandma and granddad in the United Kingdom. They really doted on me and gave me their complete attention, unlike at home where there were two other siblings vying for it. Then when I was 13, my grandma died and my newly widowed granddad came to visit us in Canada for 3 weeks. I grew very attached to him during his visit. <br /><br />We took him to the airport to return to the UK. After saying a hurried good-bye, I can still see this elderly man walking/limping determinedly with two canes towards security at the airport. I put my head in my mum's arms and just howled, cried, and wept from somewhere deep inside - loudly and for a long time. I was so very, very sad and didn't understand where this emotion came from, but I understand better now as an adult - it was bound up in my love for him and my late grandma. It was about being afraid for his safety and feeling so useless.<br /><br />I later moved to the UK and spent many happy years visiting my granddad and his new wife, but because of this move, there were to be many more good-byes at airports throughout my life. Saying goodbye to my parents was always very hard, but none was so wrenching as that 'first' good-bye when I was 13.<br /><br />Thank you for your program and your books. I enjoy reading your Daily Dose every day.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Eleanor
Staff
2013-04-26T18:11:00Z
Hello and Goodbye
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hello-and-Goodbye/-430231372901611478.html
2013-04-25T19:05:00Z
2013-04-25T19:05:00Z
Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />The hardest goodbye I've ever had to say was in November 2011. My son was born prematurely and didn't survive. I said hello and goodbye to him all in the same day. All the special moments and memories I thought we would have a lifetime to create were suddenly gone in an instant. He was supposed to bury me in my old age, but instead I buried him. <br /><br />Handing his tiny body back to the nurse crushed me. Driving home from the hospital several days later, empty-handed, was the hardest thing I've ever done. <br /><br />His birth and death have changed me forever. <br /><br />I'm still learning to live without him, but I'm discovering all the ways his brief existence has impacted my life. I'm fortunate to have two living children -- two wonderful daughters – and I know (and they do too) how lucky I am to have them. <br /><br />Karin<br />
Staff
2013-04-25T19:05:00Z
A Future for My Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Future-for-My-Family/-115650506149238740.html
2013-04-24T20:15:00Z
2013-04-24T20:15:00Z
Dear Dr Laura, <br /><br />I just wanted to thank you for inspiring me to turn my hobby into a business. <br /><br />I was a stay-at-home mom until my youngest went to school. I have been subbing at schools here while my husband, who was laid off, looks for another job.<br /> <br />I was working in my sewing room, making an adorable burp cloth for my brother's new baby, using pieces of my grandmother's old clothes. While working on it, I was listening to your podcast where you were commenting on how special it was to make jewelry with photos because you felt connected to the people for whom you were making it.<br /><br />I teared up. <br /><br />I knew exactly what you were talking about. I have made many things for family members from stuff from our grandparents. I also make people T- shirt quilts and other memorabilia. They always love them and I love making them. <br /><br />I am going to do what I have to do to be able to be at home with my kiddos and you have inspired me to make this fulfilling pastime a way to make a future for my family. Thank you for all you do. <br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Shannon <br />
Staff
2013-04-24T20:15:00Z
Dating the Right Way
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dating-the-Right-Way/570195189469457020.html
2013-04-23T19:07:00Z
2013-04-23T19:07:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I am 26 years old and have listened to you since I was a little girl in the car with my mom. Your advice has stuck with me and I have found your words to be more valuable as I mature. I am so excited to say that I am getting married soon to an amazing man who would truly swim through shark-infested waters to bring me a lemonade. And I will be sipping my lemonade and making sure he knows how much he is loved, appreciated and always feels well taken care of.<br /><br />We dated for over two years before we got engaged and I took that time to make sure he was a good match. Within the first month, we had already talked about how my plans were to stay at home and be my kid's mom. I did not care how much we had to "budget our brains out", as you wonderfully refer to it. I was going to be the one raising my kids and making a welcoming place for my husband to come home to. He agreed with me on that and we discussed other values, goals, religion, finances and family. We found we were on the same page with it all. During our engagement, we completed premarital counseling. We have not lived together and I have saved myself for our wedding night. For everyone who thinks it's too hard, I am living proof you can make it and we are going to have an incredibly special wedding night together! I have earned my white dress!<br /><br />Through it all, we have fallen so deep in love we are going to start our marriage on the best foot we can. We know we will learn from each other and we will both make mistakes, but I will use everything I learned from you to be the best wife I can be! I have chosen wisely. Now I will wake up every day making sure I treat him kindly.<br />Thank you for all you do!<br /><br />Kristen
Staff
2013-04-23T19:07:00Z
Dr. Laura Mom School!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dr.-Laura-Mom-School!/729453551560627248.html
2013-04-19T19:22:00Z
2013-04-19T19:22:00Z
Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I have been listening and reading your advice for about 15 years. My best friend listens to you too, and we often ask each other "What would Dr. Laura say" about the dilemmas we are discussing!<br /><br />Recently I was at her house with my 3 children. My 6-year-old watched as my friend disciplined her own 7-year-old daughter for speaking rudely to Mom (my friend). My friend held firm to the consequence that she had set forth for her daughter and remained calm throughout the whole interaction showing incredible restraint and power over the situation. I encouraged her and said, "Good job, Mama. Dr. Laura would be proud!"<br /><br />On our drive home, my 6-year-old daughter asked if my friend and I were related. I told her that we knew each other as co-workers and were friends before either of us had children, and that now we are like sisters even though we are not truly related.<br /><br />After a long sigh, she said..."Well, I don't know about any of that...but it seems to me that you both went to the same school to learn how to be moms"!!! One day, she will understand that the “Dr. Laura School” of being a mom is where we both learned our many lessons!<br /><br />Thanks again for encouraging us stay-at-home moms. I love being home for my children and my husband every day.<br /><br />Mary
Staff
2013-04-19T19:22:00Z
Each of Us is 'On Loan'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Each-of-Us-is-On-Loan/-991096084749047504.html
2013-04-18T19:10:00Z
2013-04-18T19:10:00Z
Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />My son always wanted to be a police officer. When he was 22, he graduated from the police academy. Five months later, he was killed.<br /><br />I was able to see him at the hospital before he died. Although my heart was being torn from my chest, I held his hand and told him how much I loved him and how proud of him I was. But I also told him God loved him even more and it was okay to let go. Over 2,000 people showed up for his funeral. He touched more lives in his 23 years than he could have ever known. I pray I will never have to go through something like that again, but I am grateful God chose me to be his mom for the time he was here. I am also grateful I raised him, not some day care.<br /><br />Thank you for all you do, Dr. Laura. Our children are just on loan and we should know how honored we are to be able to care for them and love them. They could be gone tomorrow.<br /><br />Marilyn
Staff
2013-04-18T19:10:00Z
Being Treated Like a Lady
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-Treated-Like-a-Lady/-393530221752216719.html
2013-04-17T20:20:00Z
2013-04-17T20:20:00Z
Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />You've spoken on your show about courtship and how it seems to be nonexistent these days. Recently, I happened to be watching an old episode of "Golden Girls" entitled "The Commitments," and Blanche, the resident sexpot, was bemoaning the fact she could not get the man she was dating to sleep with her, despite having had five dates. He said he believed in courtship, and told Blanche how confused he was about the new dating rules,and how to treat women who insisted on paying their own way. By the end of the episode, Blanche walked away unsure of how she felt about being treated like a lady rather than as a sex object.<br /><br />Twenty-one years later, this episode of a simple TV show rings true. I am 39 years old and divorced (I didn't choose wisely), but am currently dating a man who opens my door, pays for dinner, does little things for me which shows he cares, and I couldn't be more thankful that gentlemen still exist.<br /><br />It saddens me to see the boorish behavior of some young women today from the way they talk to the way they dress to the way they treat a decent man. I would not want to be a young man today. Not only do young women not have examples of ladylike behavior to follow, but our young men have no clear example of what real manly behavior looks like.<br /><br />Our society has mostly lost all sense of morality and decency. The"everything goes" mentality is clearly not working. How many generations do we have to mess up before we realize you need to have some standards of behavior? I long for the day when there was a clear definition of what was right and what was wrong and people were held accountable for their behavior. <br /><br />Sometimes, you're tough to take, but the truth always hurts, doesn't it? Thank you for doing what you do.<br /><br />Leigh Ann<br />
Staff
2013-04-17T20:20:00Z
Every Person on Earth Wants to be Loved by Their Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Every-Person-on-Earth-Wants-to-be-Loved-by-Their-Mother/-396321572779055484.html
2013-04-16T19:11:00Z
2013-04-16T19:11:00Z
Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />Growing up, I longed for a good mother-daughter relationship, but it never happened. The reality still makes me sad, but no longer stupid. It took the death of my father who served as a buffer between my mother and me, and your words ringing in my ears, before I finally cut off my relationship with her about 3 years ago.<br /><br />My mother is still alive (85) and I am glad she has my two brothers and their children to be her family. Even though I married my best friend and the best guy in the world (39 years ago) and gave birth to two fantastic kids (now 35 and 37), my mother continually tried to drive a wedge between my very close knit family. I felt torn between my love for my children and my "need" to have a mother who loved and respected me. In the end, my mother verbally attacked my husband and that incident finally gave me the strength to end the toxic relationship I had with her. Better late than never!<br /><br />My children admitted to their dislike of her and no longer felt the "obligation" to continue their relationship with her just because she was their grandmother. Their memories of many of the mother/daughter incidents are much clearer than mine, as I tend to just move on as a coping method. So in the end, I know my mother is the one who is missing out. She also has a beautiful great-granddaughter (13) whom she chooses not to consider part of the family. Again, her loss.<br /><br />Thanks to you, and my ability to listen to you almost every day, my life is so much richer and my kids and husband often point out that it took strength to make the decision to live my life "sans mom"! You continually endorse that decision and have given me a strength I was always capable of, but had trouble asserting.<br /><br />Without distraction, I AM my husband's girlfriend and my kids' mom!<br /><br /><br />Thank you,<br /><br />Susan
Staff
2013-04-16T19:11:00Z
Alpha Males
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Alpha-Males/522908172447028141.html
2013-04-15T20:03:00Z
2013-04-15T20:03:00Z
I often hear you talk on your show about the importance of having an alpha male as a role model for our sons. <br /><br />I have been married almost 17 years with a 10-year-old daughter and a 13-year-old son. My husband is an alpha male and there are times I cringe inside when he is in our son's face after he does something stupid. He has never physically, verbally or emotionally harmed our son, but just simply sets him straight. It’s not always easy to watch. <br /><br />Several weeks ago, my husband took our daughter, son and our son's friend (who is a girl) to a concert. During a break, my son and his friend went to get something to drink. While walking, a grown (and inebriated) man was grabbing girls' butts and proceeded to touch my son's friend's tush. My son did not hesitate. He walked up to this man and his entire group of buddies and told him what he was doing was wrong and to not touch his friend again. He then went and found a police officer and told him. <br /><br />We would not have known this if my son's friend hadn't told us. He just shrugged it off and said, "it was the right thing to do." <br /><br />The next day, his friend's dad called my husband and thanked him for raising such a young man of character. He then called our son and said he was happy his only daughter was in good hands. <br /><br />So the lesson for me was: It takes balls to raise a boy with balls. It may not always be warm and fuzzy, but it's not supposed to be. I'm very proud of the young man he is becoming. It's not easy these days, but with the help of an alpha male the balance is always there. <br /><br />Thank you for all you do,<br /><br />Julie<br />
Staff
2013-04-15T20:03:00Z
A Thank You from My Future Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Thank-You-from-My-Future-Children/-770918646168386404.html
2013-04-12T18:40:00Z
2013-04-12T18:40:00Z
I am 25 years old and have a beautiful vision for my future that includes a big happy family, a lifelong marriage, and at least a dozen grandchildren. <br /><br />I'm at that age where many of my friends have quickly gotten married, and had a couple children already. While some are doing great, many of them are already divorced and raising children on their own. I grew up as an only child from a broken home and although I was fortunate to have a devoted mother, I still spent years of my life longing for a big family around me. Despite this longing, I knew early on that taking a patient and wise approach would pay off. <br /><br />You confirmed this for me. Although I had listened to you as a child, I found you again and started listening to you every day about 2 years ago. You taught me probably the most important lesson of my life and that lesson is how to love my children well before they even exist. <br /><br />You taught me to love my children by choosing wisely and treating kindly - so that they will not have to experience divorce like I did. My future husband will be a lucky guy due to how you've helped shape me. <br /><br />You taught me to develop a code of values and morals for myself - so I can choose someone who shares those values - and we can raise our children in a household that harvests strong character. <br /><br />You taught me to think about my career in the long term, and helped me to choose a career that will allow me to be primarily a full-time parent. I spent the last 7 years building a successful business that will eventually transition to a part time, work-from-home business so I can be there every day with my kids. <br /><br />You taught me to take care of myself and prioritize nutrition, a concept this 90's kid- who grew up on Spaghetti-os and Lucky Charms knew absolutely nothing about. Through this, I will not only be able to teach my children great nutrition from the start, but I will ensure that I am there for my children, healthy and alive, for many, many years. <br /><br />In a society that values impulse, you taught me patience and foresight. I can only hope that a few decades down the road when my future children are grown and making their own big decisions about life, they too will thank you for what you taught their mother and what she taught them. <br /><br />Thank you for all you do.<br /><br /> Erin
Staff
2013-04-12T18:40:00Z
I Nearly Lost My Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Nearly-Lost-My-Husband/-196737767293341194.html
2013-04-11T17:46:00Z
2013-04-11T17:46:00Z
I wish to say you and your callers were the catalyst for saving my marriage. Just one short week ago, my husband was having an affair. It was my own fault and this is how I found out… <br /><br />I was listening to your podcasts and heard a handful of calls involving wives whose husbands had been cheating. As I carefully listened to the pain in the voices of these women and your realistic advice, I pondered my own selfishness. I decided at that moment to change. <br /><br />My husband had been working outdoors all day and I thought it would be nice to make him lunch. So, I put together a homemade meal and carried it to him with fresh limeade. I proceeded to tell him how much I love him, and his response was, "Really? Then show me." <br /><br />That hit me like a brick. I began to get a deep sense that there was possibly another woman in the picture. I investigated and promptly found a phone number of another woman. We had a long, sleepless night full of arguing and tears because he admitted fully to his short-lived relationship with this woman which would have continued had I not decided to "wake up."<br /><br />He told me they had had sex one time and though he said he felt bad about it even in the moment, he said it was better than what he was getting at home! I have never felt so much pain in my life, but that reality was the jolt I needed to humble myself and get honest. <br /><br />As a result, this week with my husband has been the best ever in our 17 year marriage. He promptly ended his affair and we have enjoyed every moment together. I made the conscious choice to become his girlfriend. I re-read your book and it came as no surprise that I have been an example of everything NOT to do. A good man really is a simple man, and my husband is a good man. He takes care of me and our two children and he works his tail off every day. He truly does deserve the best I can give to him. <br /><br />As for me, making the decision to change has taken me to a level of happiness that I <br />haven't felt in years, despite the awful recent event. I have learned from my mistakes, and am seeing just how freeing it is to humble thyself. Tearing that wall down has allowed me to love my man and to enjoy treating him as my hero. Our relationship in the bedroom has been better than when we first married. Our outlook on our future life together is one that is happy and optimistic. <br /><br />What a difference it makes in your marriage to do as you always say, "Choose wisely and treat kindly." Thanks for your fantastic advice and for making it possible to write this to you.<br /><br />Cynthia<br />
Staff
2013-04-11T17:46:00Z
How to Act like a Real Lady
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-to-Act-like-a-Real-Lady/-893005108316598800.html
2013-04-10T20:05:00Z
2013-04-10T20:05:00Z
Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I am a 24-year-old part-time college student with a full-time job. I have been listening to your show since I was sixteen years old. I always wondered why some women who called you would shack up with men, bring two or three innocent children into the world and then wonder why the men end up leaving and abusing them ten years later. I would laugh and say how stupid these women were and how I would NEVER fall into their footsteps. Until one day….<br /><br />I "fell in love" with a "man" and began to do all the wrong things. After the first month of his being what I thought was chivalrous, I found it to be a good idea to "give myself to him" sexually.<br /><br />As soon as I “did the deed,” the flowers stopped, no more doors were opened for me, and the calls and sweet affirmations began to fade. We split the bill at dinner, and I noticed this "man" would only call me late at night for a quickie. I felt down, and started to feel sorry for myself.<br /><br />I thought, "What would Dr. Laura say to me?" Right then and there I knew I was just a simple unpaid whore. I cannot stand those two words and I cannot stand that I allowed myself to fall into that category. I immediately realized I needed to make changes in my life. I stopped feeling sorry for myself. I made those choices and must now learn from them.<br /> <br />I am now focusing on my college education, continuing my passion for dance, and saving myself until marriage (after I have found a real man who respects me as I respect myself). I cannot thank you enough for what you do and how well you educate people. I am one less unpaid whore out in the world and I appreciate you teaching me how to act like a REAL lady.<br /><br />Your biggest fan,<br /><br />Ashley
Staff
2013-04-10T20:05:00Z
She was an Abandoned Child
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/She-was-an-Abandoned-Child/-184645242128510262.html
2013-04-09T20:48:00Z
2013-04-09T20:48:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1365529934738_2791" class="yiv666532972MsoNormal">Dr. Laura,</p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1365529934738_2809" class="yiv666532972MsoNormal">My little cousin was born to a mother who turned to drugs and a father who was never around due to his choice in jobs. She recently wrote this poem to express her feelings and gave me permission to share it with you.</p>
<blockquote>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1365529934738_2813" class="yiv666532972MsoNormal"><em>"I am an abandoned child. I wonder why my parents didn't want me. I hear my little brother and sister crying in the night. I see the lights go out and every time I have hope. I want somebody to love me. I am an abandoned child.</em></p>
<p class="yiv666532972MsoNormal"><em>I am an abandoned child. I pretend that I have a normal family. I feel all alone and scared never knowing what tomorrow holds. I need to be saved. I worry that things will never change. I cry when I can't help my brother and sister. I am an abandoned child.</em></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1365529934738_2815" class="yiv666532972MsoNormal"><em>I am an abandoned child. I understand that nothing in life is fair. I believe that God will save me. I dream that one day me, my brother and sister will be together again. I try to keep hope that things will change. I hope that my brother and sister are happy and safe. I am an abandoned child."</em></p>
</blockquote>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1365529934738_2816" class="yiv666532972MsoNormal">My cousin is now an adult and, despite being an abandoned child, she has overcome adversity and is on the right track in life. I hope this poem touches the lives of many and reiterates the facts you always preach: "the number one job in a parent's life is being a parent!" We need fewer abandoned children in this world and more devoted parents!</p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1365529934738_2817" class="yiv666532972MsoNormal">Thank you for all you do, Dr. Laura and I hope you continue to do it for many more years!</p>
<br />
<p class="yiv666532972MsoNormal">Sincerely,</p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1365529934738_2820" class="yiv666532972MsoNormal">Desiree</p>
Staff
2013-04-09T20:48:00Z
Old-Fashioned Courtship
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Old-Fashioned-Courtship/568868131073126729.html
2013-04-08T18:57:00Z
2013-04-08T18:57:00Z
At 95 years old and 20 years widowed, my now-frail dad is still a real mensch. While courting my mom, this is only one of the many romantic things he did: He knew she was out with her mother and would have to pass his house on the way home after dark. So when he saw them coming up the street, he stood in the lighted window on the 2nd floor and played Schubert's "Serenade." Immediately my mom decided she was going to marry him.I know they had their financial and emotional difficulties through 50 years of marriage, but we kids (seven of us!) always saw Dad defending Mom. They never showed any disagreement in front of us. <br /><br />Dad always held the door for her and his 3 daughters. He made sure he walked on the street-side of the sidewalk when walking with one of us, and gave us Valentine candy every year. Mom did not go back to work until I, the youngest, was 14 (and then we all worked in the family business). I never had any confusion about who I was, or whether I was loved. We all had to work hard and our parents would not tolerate backtalk or slacking. I thank God every day for the generous parents He gave us, their perseverance, the faith they passed on to us, the small gestures of respect for each other, the time they spent with us as a family (every day off, Dad dedicated to his family), the service they gave to church and community and most of all, to us. I owe God big-time, and it will take my whole life to pass it on. <br /><br />To this day, my dad is bewildered whenever anyone praises him for something. He just thinks he's done what he had to do. What a man!!! <br /><br />God bless you for the work you do, Dr. Laura. Keep telling it like it is!<br /><br />Elaine<br />
Staff
2013-04-08T18:57:00Z
Thanks for Your Backbone
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thanks-for-Your-Backbone/396565609199965850.html
2013-04-05T17:37:00Z
2013-04-05T17:37:00Z
I just subscribed to your podcasts so I can listen to all your archived programs and it was not a minute too soon! Listening to you all day at work sure does give me some grit. I'm no delicate flower to begin with, but hearing your logic in emotional situations all day helps me to really step back. <br /><br />For the first time in my 25 years, I broke up with a guy when I saw the ripples instead of waiting for the whole tidal wave to come down on me before I made a decision. I want a real man who respects, honors, cherishes, and takes care of me. Thanks to you and several model couples in my life, I've become celibate and will never shack up again.<br /><br />Today, after hours of your advice were alternately softly spoken and yelled through the computer at me, I had total clarity about a guy I just started seeing. I was able to see that his pushing to see me when I'd asked him to back off wasn't sweet because he missed me. It was disrespectful. Instead of downplaying my irritation at dumb comments he made, I sat back and thought about whether or not I wanted to deal with that for the rest of my life.<br /><br />So here I am, about to head to dance practice, single, and thrilled. Thrilled because today, I decided to invest no more than two dates in a "loser" instead of a whole year! This backbone I have borrowed from you - well, I hope you have another, because I don't think I'm ever giving it back. Thanks for guiding this often too-forgiving girl!<br /><br />Carrie<br />
Staff
2013-04-05T17:37:00Z
My Decision Could Have Been Constructive or Destructive
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Decision-Could-Have-Been-Constructive-or-Destructive/-58660265757429282.html
2013-04-04T18:31:00Z
2013-04-04T18:31:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>I read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" before my dear husband and I got married in December. Last night, I had the opportunity to treat kindly having Mother Laura in the back of my head.</p>
<p>This is the second marriage for both of us. My husband has primary physical custody of his kids and I have no children of my own and won't be able to have any. He is the primary bread-winner in our family. The little investment income I bring to the family table we put away each month into savings. He is not a rich man, but the work he does makes him happy so I manage our month-to-month finances in a way that supports his professional happiness. I also have Crohn's Disease and will have some major surgery and decisions to make in the next few weeks.</p>
<p>I have always put a hot dinner on the table, but recently some have been more memorable than others. Last night I wanted to fix my man one of his favorite meals, oven-baked tilapia and risotto. I had everything prepared and started when I got a call that a computer network just went down and he would be "pretty late" getting home for dinner. In that moment, I was irritated. Risotto is awful when cold. Then I made myself pause and asked him “how late is ‘pretty late?’" He told me he would be almost an hour late getting home. He kept apologizing. I told him to take care of business and call me when he was 20 minutes from home.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, I put dinner on for the kiddos. When he called again, I fired up my skillet and oven, and started his dinner from scratch all over again with a glass of wine waiting. The tears in his eyes were thank you enough for preparing 2 dinners and two clean-ups. He loves his family and he didn't want to get home late either. He also didn't need to come home to a hysterical wife. I wanted him to feel safe, loved, supported and appreciated. All of that was communicated to him with a simple hot dinner.</p>
<p>My daughter (steps are what we climb from the first floor to the second, not what we define our family with) asked why I was making dinner again. I explained about Daddy being late and how there are many ways to say "I love you" but serving others is the loudest expression of it at all.</p>
<p>My BFF (best boyfriend forever) texted me today asking me for a date on Saturday night. It's my privilege to accept.</p>
<p>Thank you Mother Laura for influencing a simple decision which could have communicated two entirely different emotions: one constructive and one destructive. It was a newly-wed learning experience I hope to not forget.</p>
<p>Yours truly -</p>
<p>Kristi</p>
Staff
2013-04-04T18:31:00Z
To An Ungrateful Caller - Wake Up and Smell the Decaf Tea!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/To-An-Ungrateful-Caller---Wake-Up-and-Smell-the-Decaf-Tea!/832622617594776894.html
2013-04-03T19:28:00Z
2013-04-03T19:28:00Z
<p>Recently, you took a call from a lady who sought advice on how to cope with a "needy, yet loving, husband" requiring "a lot of affection.” Your response was right on the mark in that she will lose him to another woman if she doesn't wise up. <br /><br />Two years ago, I would have described myself as a DUFUS: Dumb, Ugly, Fat, Unlovable, and a Slob who didn't care how I looked. My 5'4" frame was carrying 170 pounds, putting me in the "obese" category. <br /><br />What turned the tide for me? In 2011, a good friend of mine challenged me to shed my excess poundage, and agreed to be my accountability buddy <strong><em>and </em></strong>my exercise partner. A little over a year later, I had dropped over 50 lbs.! Since then, I maintain a healthy weight of 120 lbs. because I have completely altered my lifestyle. I look forward to exercising at least 4 times a week to the point where I am drenched in sweat after each session. If I'm experiencing a bad day, the exercise completely restores my peace of mind. <br /><br />While undergoing this massive weight loss campaign, I treated myself to a drastic makeover where I changed my hairstyle, my hair color, and my make-up routine. In addition, I transformed my attitude so I no longer view myself the way I did before. I now respect myself and have a lot to be proud of. <br /><br />Although I don't have a man in my life (and I have yet to date since my divorce was finalized in 2008), I have chosen to focus instead on the blessings in my life by participating in a range of meaningful activities that involve work, volunteerism, and fun pursuits. Fortunately, I lucked into a career that I love, and I practically leap out of bed every morning to start my workday. Three of my high-school girlfriends and I are going to the Bahamas this spring for some well-deserved R&R and catching up. Finally, I am a devoted "pet parent" of a beagle/springer spaniel crossbreed - an absolute sweetheart of a dog who is my constant companion. Amazingly, I no longer (or VERY rarely!) fret about my lack-of-man-in-my-life status because of the richness of my life!<br /><br />One comment you once made rocked me to the core: "Agonizing over what is not, is an insult to what is." Perhaps this caller should take your philosophy to heart before her husband gets too exasperated and walks out on her. <br /><br />Sincerely,</p>
<p>Marian</p>
Staff
2013-04-03T19:28:00Z
One Woman's 'Stupid Courtship' Story
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/One-Womans-Stupid-Courtship-Story/979402554313352578.html
2013-04-02T18:03:00Z
2013-04-02T18:03:00Z
<p>I teach a ”Psychology of Women” class at a community college, and your book, "10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives" is required reading. I ask the students to choose a chapter to write about, and how it relates to their lives. One woman wrote:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Upon reading Chapter Two, "Stupid Courtship," I see many points expressed in this chapter that I have done.</p>
<p>I used to find myself being disappointed by lousy dates, but even more disappointed by not getting a call back. That started the cycle of beating myself up and obsessively thinking about what I did wrong for him not to call back. Dr. Schlessinger states that dating should be about selecting, not being selected. The mind set I had since I started dating was wrong. I acted like a beggar to see who would "take" me, saying yes too quickly to too many of the wrong men so that I wouldn't have to deal with being alone.</p>
<p>I never thought there would be an alternate solution to not feeling alone or feeling better about being alone. My idea of core fulfillment always included a man by my side. I was always afraid to live on my own and doubted my capabilities of holding the responsibility of maintaining a job and housing on my own. So, at age 22, I married my boyfriend of almost two years and left my mother's house. I took an enormous leap in an act of what I thought was survival. Five years into my relationship, three years of marriage and one child later, I face many difficulties due to these stupid actions I have taken.</p>
<p>After reading the chapter, I was completely overwhelmed, depressed and even angry that I did not read this book before. On a positive note I have had a major “head change” and see that I can pinpoint major problems in my marriage and myself and try to work on them. I think it is useless to think about "what ifs" of "if I did it all over again" because I can't. One of the positive outcomes of my poor decisions is that at least I will be able to guide my son through his life so that he can have confidence, and not make the mistakes I did.</p>
</blockquote>
<p><br />Leslee</p>
Staff
2013-04-02T18:03:00Z
Helping Me to Become a Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Helping-Me-to-Become-a-Man/442477961996726917.html
2013-04-01T17:57:00Z
2013-04-01T17:57:00Z
<p>In the late 80s, I asked a high school acquaintance out on a date. She was 19, I was 23. We had sex that night and moved in together one week later. Eight months later, I got her pregnant and started cheating on her. She found out and moved in with her mother. The same time I became a cop and started listening to your radio program. You instilled in me character, accountability, and doing the right thing. Without hearing from my child's mother for months, she called and asked me to be part of the birth, which I jumped at. We had a boy that March.</p>
<p>After hours of listening to you, Dr. Laura, I decided to do the right thing and ask my child's mother to marry me. Even though we did not love each other, we did it for our child.</p>
<p>We married and yes, it was tough, but we were committed. Three years later we had another son and with your wisdom, my wife became a stay-at-home mom.</p>
<p>During this time, my bride read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” half way and tossed it back at me. I continued to listen to you and heard you say, "Actions first, feelings come later." I put that to use and I finally started to truly love my wife; it took ten years for this. My wife then started to become my girlfriend.</p>
<p>We are now on 22 years of marriage with both our boys at college. Being empty nesters has been a blast, since we are now in a boyfriend /girlfriend mode. We cannot keep our hands off each other and waking up in the morning has taken on a whole new meaning. We did not start off as "soul mates," but we did become them. Four things kept us together: Our commitment to our sons, the same religion (Catholic), laughter with each other, and YOU, Dr. Laura. I continue to listen to your podcasts while working the streets and at times pass on your wisdom to those who I serve.</p>
<p>I love you for your guidance and leading me to do the right thing. I hope someday to give you a big hug for what you did for me and my family. If not, know that you have touched so many lives such as mine. God bless you and your family.</p>
<p>Marty</p>
Staff
2013-04-01T17:57:00Z
From the Mouths of Babes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/From-the-Mouths-of-Babes/380622622443599733.html
2013-03-29T19:17:00Z
2013-03-29T19:17:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I've been meaning to write you a note of appreciation and gratitude over the past 5 years when I left my career (with your virtual encouragement) to be my 3 kids' mom (now 13, 11, and 9 - and I’m still lovin’ my hubby of 14 years). Thank you for introducing me to the best job ever: “Mom & Domestic Engineer” -- my business cards are on order from Vista Print...</p>
<p>My kids listen in the car whenever you're on. They sometimes whine, "How long is Dr. Laura going to be on?!!" wanting to get back to Hits 1 and the Justin Bieber Channel on SiriusXM. This led me to believe they had tuned you out.<br /> <br /> A couple months ago, my 9-year-old's teacher was getting married. A note went home with the kids asking the parents for advice for a happy marriage. They were making a class journal for the soon-to-be groom.</p>
<p>I came across this note a week AFTER the wedding and I asked my son why he never gave it to me and his dad to fill out. His reply, "I didn't need to. I just wrote 'Choose wisely, treat kindly' "</p>
<p>Let's just say I think my kids are tuned in more than I thought!</p>
<p>We'll be tuning in every day - thanks for being you and being a big part of our lives!</p>
<p>Jan</p>
Staff
2013-03-29T19:17:00Z
I Wish I Would Have Been Nicer to My Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Wish-I-Would-Have-Been-Nicer-to-My-Husband/-845344879322390984.html
2013-03-28T18:17:00Z
2013-03-28T18:17:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>During our thirteen years of marriage my husband and I experienced many of the ups and downs that life has to offer. We had three boys, worked hard, laughed a lot and shared a rich social life. We also fought a lot. We seemed to live in a whirlwind of stress on a daily basis, and over time it took its toll on our relationship.</p>
<p>When my husband was diagnosed with cancer at age 39, all I could focus on was helping him get through the next painful round of chemo and surgery, while juggling the children, and keeping a fake smile on my face every day. He ultimately lost his battle with cancer, and I became a 38-year-old widow, and mother to three young boys with no father.</p>
<p>When I reflect on my marriage, I am still disappointed that we fought like we did. If we had known we would only have a little over a decade together, we would have cherished every moment. I know if he could do it again, he would spend more time with our children, and less chasing the next ring on the corporate ladder. If I could do it again, I would nurture him better, stop trying to change him, be kinder and hug him more often – Because you never know when that hug will be your last.</p>
<p>Julie</p>
Staff
2013-03-28T18:17:00Z
No One to Take My Place
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-One-to-Take-My-Place/-150035794901956629.html
2013-03-27T17:54:00Z
2013-03-27T17:54:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>On Monday, I gave my two weeks’ notice at the clinic where I work as a registered nurse. I am a mom of six: two adults, three teenagers, and a 5-year-old boy... My husband works out of town overnight several days a week. I increased my work schedule recently from two days a week to four. It included a nice pay increase, and I felt satisfied in my job.<br /> <br /> Then I started having anxiety attacks on Sundays. My husband would be leaving the next morning to work out of town, and I would be working at the clinic for four days in the coming week. I knew I didn't get enough work done over the weekend or on my day off during the week and my pile was getting deeper. Chaos had taken over my home. I was too tired when I got home to fix meals, or do dishes or do laundry or go to extra activities; and we ate takeout almost every night. I thought about hiring a housekeeper to make us meals and do some light housework. My nice pay increase was looking pretty dim!<br /> <br /> Then something happened: my 5-year-old son woke up one morning with the side of his face swollen. I took him to see a doctor where I work. There was no one to take my place at work and my husband was out of town, so I had to leave him with his babysitter after the appointment and go back to work. The next day he was worse so I took him to a dentist. Again there was no one to take my place. No one to take my place...how ironic!<br /> <br /> I realized for the first time in the seven years since I went back to work that there is no one to take my place <strong>as a mom</strong>! I can't believe I let the dollar signs take over my thinking. Before it's too late I am going back to being my kids' mom. It won’t take much adjusting either. I will just trade my focus from work outside my home for work inside my home.<br /> <br /> Thanks Dr. Laura for being the "nagging" voice to return to what is important. For a long time I didn't think the "nagging" pertained to me. I thought my situation was an exception. My family isn't an exception. They need their mom at home. No one can take my place!<br /> <br /> Michele</p>
Staff
2013-03-27T17:54:00Z
Husband of the Decade
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Husband-of-the-Decade/-627221612153376963.html
2013-03-26T18:02:00Z
2013-03-26T18:02:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura:<br /> <br /> I know you aren’t running a contest, but I must tell you about the "Husband of the Decade". <br /> <br /> Since I was a teenager, I thought I would not get married or have children, based on what I witnessed during my childhood: divorced parents and a mom who was left to raise NINE children without the daily help of a father figure.</p>
<p>Then, I bumped into an old business acquaintance and slowly my view changed. From the first, I knew he was different from other guys. He told me that night, "Since we bumped into each other, let me take care of you." I thought to myself, "That's kind of weird, but very sweet."</p>
<p>We started dating and got serious quickly. We discussed getting married and having children, but I told him that having kids changes everything (I was thinking of my parents and childhood at that time). He told me he wanted children, because (he said): "I think I have a lot to give." And for some reason, that spoke to me and I thought maybe I did too!</p>
<p>We married and have two children. Before having children, we decided that I would stay home and be Mom! No question about it. I understood what it meant to a child to come home from school to an empty house. <br /> <br /> He provides us with everything we need and then some. He is a shining example of what it means to be a parent, husband, son....and son-in-law!</p>
<p>He went out of his way to keep his parents close by. He made it possible for my mother to live within a few miles of us. And he has made gestures that have helped several of my siblings time and time again. He does this kind of thing for friends and strangers also. He has the best heart ever.</p>
<p>He and I are a team. It’s not <em>always</em> harmonious, and we disagree at times, but we know this family has to stick together. We both listen to your show and know when families break apart there can be horrible consequences. I had them occur in my family so I know firsthand! <br /> <br /> I am going to go out on a limb here and for the benefit of your female listeners: I think he does what he does in part because I am a good wife. He sees that I would move heaven and earth for him and our children. I handle all the home stuff - the meals, the cleaning, homework, lunch packing, etc, etc. We are a TEAM.</p>
<p>I love him and appreciate all the work he puts into our relationship and our lives and that's why I consider my boyfriend the "Husband of the Decade". <br /> <br /> Sincerely,</p>
<p>Norma Jean</p>
Staff
2013-03-26T18:02:00Z
Where I Will Be While Caring for My Babies
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Where-I-Will-Be-While-Caring-for-My-Babies/76510788792872893.html
2013-03-25T17:24:00Z
2013-03-25T17:24:00Z
<p>My boyfriend and I have been married for two years and love our lives together, but we're ready to take the plunge into pregnancy and parenthood.</p>
<p>I’m working at a job that I'm not crazy about, but the reason I've been content to stick with this company is that the owners have said they have no problem with me bringing a baby into the office when the time comes. "Awesome," I thought. "Babies don't do anything for the first year anyway so I can totally just work at my desk with my baby in a sling. I'll be able to hold them close and earn some extra cash at the same time." It seemed like a pretty good deal so I've endured. But then last week, I had an epiphany that totally turned me around.</p>
<p>My husband and I got home from work and I tried to throw together some dinner amid the mess in the kitchen that I hadn't had time to clean. He tried to make a dent in the pile of clean laundry that had slowly taken over our living room. It then hit me -- I don't want to live like this when we have a baby!</p>
<p>Having a new baby will be hard enough; I don't want to add to that the stress of household chores which I know I simply don't have time for when I work. I want to have a healthy dinner ready when my husband gets home instead of rushing to put something on the table because we're both so hungry after a long day. And, most of all, if I want to just sit and stare at my beautiful baby all day long, I want to be able to do that. I shared this epiphany with my husband and he just smiled in such a way that made it clear he's been quietly and patiently waiting for me to come to this realization.</p>
<p>My mother was a stay-at-home mom despite many years of economic trials. I always took for granted that the man I married would allow me to do the same. But that night, my husband reminded me that my desire to stay home with our children was one of the things he was most attracted to when we met and that I need not worry about bringing in extra cash after our children come. I know he will do whatever it takes to care for us and who am I to deny him the pleasure and pride of supporting a family on his own? Is there any better way to respect his manhood? I know his wanting me to stay home is his way of respecting and revering my role as a woman and mother. I am so grateful to have married "one of the good ones" and (now that I've got my head on straight again) I am so excited at the prospect of growing our little family.</p>
<p>Thanks for supporting stay-at-home moms. As the daughter of a pretty great one, I have to say THEY ROCK!</p>
Bekky<br />
Staff
2013-03-25T17:24:00Z
Talking Private in Public on Cell Phones
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Talking-Private-in-Public-on-Cell-Phones/466020650259072366.html
2013-03-22T18:13:00Z
2013-03-22T18:13:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>I'm one of those dinosaurs who has yet to use either Facebook or Twitter. But I would like to relate a story that honestly DID happen to me about ten or twelve years ago. We'd pulled into the Maxwell, Nebraska rest stop on westbound I-80 (nicest rest stop in the country, by the way) and I went to the men's room. The first stall being occupied I went to the second. No sooner had I sat down than the man in the first stall said, "Hi, how are ya'?" <br /><br />"Fine," I said, not wanting to seem unfriendly. <br /><br />"What are ya' doin"?" <br /><br />More cautious now, I replied, "We're heading west," figuring that would be a safe answer. <br /><br />"Look," he said, "I've got to call you back. Every time I ask you a question the idiot in the next stall answers it!"</p>
<p>And that’s what you get for "talking private" in public on cell phones!</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Here's another one I heard third-hand: <br /><br />Some American college girls were vacationing in Europe. One of them woke up and went to a sidewalk cafe in Italy for her breakfast around 11:00. She called her friend on her cell phone and proceeded to give her every tiny detail of her sexcapade the night before. Despite the crowd at the cafe she had no trouble talking to her friend for the Itallians quieted down. When she had finished every juicy detail she put the cell phone back in her pocket. <br /><br />A very handsome young European man came over to her table and asked if she was an American. The girl could not believe her luck. Here was this well-groomed, well-dressed, well-mannered, and incredibly handsome European "Prince Charming" standing right there at her table talking to her. She replied that, yes, she was an American and she and her friends were on vacation in Europe. <br /><br />"Are you having a good time?" <br /><br />"Oh, a blast!" <br /><br />"Don't you have a problem with the language over here?" <br /><br />"Oh no. Everybody over here speaks English!" <br /><br />"A point you may wish to remember the next time you choose to have so private a conversation in so public a gathering!"</p>
<p> </p>
</blockquote>
Allen
Staff
2013-03-22T18:13:00Z
Courtship Over the Years
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Courtship-Over-the-Years/-295610061383085792.html
2013-03-21T18:17:00Z
2013-03-21T18:17:00Z
<p>My dad once told me about how my grandparents met. My grandfather had asked another gentleman to speak on his behalf to my grandmother's father. It took my grandfather three months to be able to talk to my grandmother and that was only to ask her for her hand in marriage. They were married 75 years.</p>
<p>My own parents' first date included her older brother who stayed with them through the entire evening -- which ended at 9:00 PM. They got married one year later and have been married 55 years.</p>
<p>My experience in courtship was that I had to always go with my oldest sister on her dates. The guys would ask me why, and I told them to protect her from anything bad happening. We were always home by 10:00PM which upset my sister. Of course, sex was never a thing to be given up by a woman.</p>
<p>Today with all of the music exploiting women and women exploiting themselves in their dress - or lack of - and giving up sex like a cashier gives change, then why <strong><em>should</em></strong> men give them any respect? </p>
<p>The other day, I opened a door for a lady. She looked at me and said, "Thank you." Another female looked like I had just insulted her intelligence.</p>
<p>I taught my sons to respect women as equal individuals, to treat them as God treats us men and to protect them from harm, because a man's legacy cannot continue without them alongside in marriage.</p>
<p>By the way, my wife and I have been married for 25 years.</p>
<p>John</p>
Staff
2013-03-21T18:17:00Z
It's Official. I've Resigned.
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Official.--Ive-Resigned./-48637206587617192.html
2013-03-20T17:14:00Z
2013-03-20T17:14:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I was soooo mad at you after I started listening to your show again after 15 years. My mom was a fan when I was a teenager, then I went off to college and never heard your show again until I bought a new car equipped with Sirius XM.</p>
<p>I was mad because after giving birth to my first baby, I put her in day care (heart broken and all), and I dutifully returned to work when she was three months old. I always felt guilty because I DID the wrong thing and I knew it. When I heard you get on working moms for dumping their little babies in day care, I became enraged because I thought, "Why don't <strong><em>you</em></strong> pay my student loans," or "Why don't <strong><em>you</em></strong> try living in Northern VA with the cost of living, taxes and medical..." Yadda, yadda, yadda....</p>
<p>Well, I've clearly come to my senses. Once I decided that I needed to make some changes and stop sacrificing my family for a 6 figure income, everything fell into place. Doors opened. I informed my husband I would be quitting my job and I informed everyone else too. They asked "What are you going to do?" I said, "I'm going to raise my child." What horror! People really thought I was nuts, but that's OK. I found an amazing work-from-home opportunity. The sky is the limit on my income. My husband also now has a small side business in addition to his full-time job. Instead of a nine-to-fiver, I now own two businesses from home. This allows me to be my husband's girlfriend and my daughter's mommy because I will have the time and energy to do so. Thank you, Dr. Laura, for having the guts to challenge former feminists like myself to be the best we can be! I love you and may you live longer than Methuselah....We need your good sense to remain in this world!</p>
<p>Cecily</p>
<p>P.S. And yes, folks think I am crazy for earning a doctorate and choosing to stay home with my baby... but you and I know I'm perfectly sane!</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2013-03-20T17:14:00Z
Fathers Impact Our Lives
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fathers-Impact-Our-Lives/308146496052970376.html
2013-03-19T18:20:00Z
2013-03-19T18:20:00Z
<p>My father died of pancreatic cancer when he was 76 years old. He was the finest man I will ever know besides my husband, and yes, I'm a little partial.</p>
<p>If I had the opportunity to say one more thing to my father, it would be, "Thank you so much for being the man you are and for raising me to be me." He taught me a great work ethic, how to be a good role model by his example, and how to be a moral person. I was so blessed to live close by, so my children would also have his guidance. </p>
<p>I am 51 years old and yet when I think about my father I feel like a little girl and easily cry. He is, and always will be, my hero. We talked about his impending death quite openly. A couple of weeks before he died, I told him that heaven was going to spit him out and send him back.</p>
<p>Growing up, he would get up early and work in the yard on Saturdays, and I’d help. One day, when I was about 9 years old, we were up before dawn and he said, "Let's go see if we can catch the sun before it comes up." So we hopped in the car and did. I don't recall the rest of that day, but I love that sweet little memory with him. <br /><br />My dad lived a memorable life. He left his wife of 54 years, 4 children, 23 grandchildren and 2 great-grandchildren. I am so honored to be his daughter. <br /><br />Thanks for letting me tell you about my dad.<br /><br />Thank you.</p>
<p>Judy<br /><br /><br />P.S. Here is a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVdB1jA2KlE&list=FLCKMyohyenrQ69p-1zbEAxw&feature=mh_lolz" target="_blank">movie in remembrance</a> of him a made a while back.</p>
Staff
2013-03-19T18:20:00Z
How to Handle a Misbehaving Child
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-to-Handle-a-Misbehaving-Child/-879883151086727553.html
2013-03-18T17:41:00Z
2013-03-18T17:41:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Recently I was cheering you on as you interrupted a dad who called about his son who misbehaved at a sports event and asked why he didn't remove his child from the game and leave! Go Dr. Laura! We need more parents to be responsible for the little people they are raising.</p>
<p>As I listened, memories of my own two sons who are now grown ran through my mind. My eldest has always been quiet and respectful. My youngest son was very bright but I always said "He has great brat potential; I have to constantly keep him in check!" <br /> <br /> When they were 3 and 4, I took them for a haircut. My oldest son sat respectfully as his hair was cut. My youngest then climbed into the chair but began flinging his arms and legs around and screaming in his brattiest voice "No! I don't want you to cut my hair!" I bent down to my son's level to talk with him, and stated very clearly, "You may not hit kick or yell at this woman. She is doing her job, which is to cut your hair. Your job is to sit respectfully and calmly until she is finished. If you can't do that, we will leave and you will not get a treat from her when we go." But my son began screaming and flinging himself about again. I said "We're done!" I stood him up and as we walked to the register the beautician quietly asked "Do you still want me to offer your other son a sticker and a lollipop?" To which I replied "Absolutely!" <br /> <br /> When she lowered the jar down to my sons' level, they both reached for a lollipop. I put my hand in front of my youngest son's hand and said "These are for little boys who sat respectfully and calmly and got their hair cut. You did not do that." This brought on the water works. After paying, I said thank you and as we reached the door my youngest asked "Can we stop at a store and get a treat?" I replied "Treats are for boys who sit calmly and respectfully to get their hair cut. You did not do that." As we exited, I was quite certain people in the next town could hear my son's screams.</p>
<p>Shortly after arriving home my beautician called to ask if I had given in and stopped to buy my son a treat, to which I replied "Absolutely not!" She laughed and said, "I wish more parents were like you." Any embarrassment I may have felt was gone in that moment. I knew I had done the right thing.</p>
<p>Marilee</p>
Staff
2013-03-18T17:41:00Z
No One Can Step In for a Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-One-Can-Step-In-for-a-Mother/136460751074474812.html
2013-03-15T18:22:00Z
2013-03-15T18:22:00Z
Dear Dr. Laura, <br /> <br />I started listening to you just after I had had my first baby 13 years ago. I was married and finishing up my degree, and I needed to complete a year internship after I graduated in order to be registered in my field of study. I chose not to apply for an internship because it would have required me to put my son in daycare. I also knew that once I finished the internship, I would feel an obligation to continue working, and thus continue with daycare. <br /> <br />I did not, at that time, have a fully formed opinion of daycare. However, I had worked at a daycare as a cook for a summer, and I knew enough to know I wanted better for my son. <br /> <br />One day while working in the kitchen of the daycare, I saw one mother bring in and drop off her 2 and 4-year-old boys. As she left, she stopped at the main office (right next to the kitchen), to talk briefly with the Director. This mother was excited because she had a day off work as a psychologist, and she was going to go home and watch some movies. I was shocked that she would not want to spend her day off with her children! <br /> <br />As I thought further on my experiences as a babysitter, nanny, and in the daycare field, I also came to another conclusion. The people who care for your children may be kind and loving, but they have no long-term investment in the success and development of your child. Their investment is short-term, and ends with the termination of their employment, or the end of their shift. They may think of your child, and love your child after that, but they can never take the place of an actual parent. And yet, parents send their children off to spend the majority of their day with people who have no long-term investment, at a place that is not home. <br /><br />This is what I know Dr. Laura and thank you for helping me decide who I wanted to be as a parent, and why. Thirteen years later, with five kids, a happy home and the same man at my side, I am grateful for the choices I have made. One day, when the kids are grown, I would like to go back to school and pick up where I left off. But in the meantime, I know that I was never missed in that career field. Others stepped in and got the job done. But no one can step in for a mother. <br /> <br />Sincerely yours, <br /> <br />Laura <br />
Staff
2013-03-15T18:22:00Z
What a Difference 24 Hours Make!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-a-Difference-24-Hours-Make!/-476333312442537229.html
2013-03-14T17:33:00Z
2013-03-14T17:33:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>My husband has a government job and frequently travels around the world.</p>
<p>A few years ago he went half way around the world for a few months. I was at home with our 3 children ages 15, 9 and 2, and I was really alone. When my husband called to ask me to pick him up from the airport. I cried and screamed angrily that he should get a cab. Later that day, I was in a bookstore and I found your book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.” Money was tight, but I bought it anyway. I stayed up well into the night reading your book.</p>
<p>The next day, I was at the airport with our 3 children. Yes, I took them out of school. I dressed up in pretty dress and heels and makeup. We made a welcome home sign and baked a cake. I had his favorite dinner waiting for him at the house.</p>
<p>When we got home my husband was too tired to eat or anything because he had been travelling. I wrapped his dinner and put it in the fridge. That is something that I wouldn't have done 24 hours earlier.</p>
<p>Fast forward through the evening. We finally got some much needed mommy and daddy time. He bought me a pair of beautiful earrings on his trip and he kept looking around for the "old" me. He said he was dreading coming home and confided that he volunteered for the overseas trip because of me! I deserved that. I confided to him that I spent $15 on a book.</p>
<p>Thank you for writing the book!</p>
<p>June</p>
Staff
2013-03-14T17:33:00Z
Teaching Boys
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teaching-Boys/-141764926072474263.html
2013-03-13T17:34:00Z
2013-03-13T17:34:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>I've heard your comments about teaching boys and how they are just wired differently from girls. At my children's elementary school, we can request certain traits we are looking for in our child's teacher for the upcoming year. Every year my request for my son has been only one thing: Give me a teacher for him who has raised a son. <br /> <br /> This request has served us very well. One of the teachers in his early years actually had a padded corner in the room where kids could read or wrestle. One year, the class pet was a family of huge fuzzy spiders. In some classes, students were encouraged to stomp or clap out the answer to a math problem instead of just giving a verbal answer. And even though it was against the rules to have extra recesses, classes were held outside so they could do extra "science" projects by running to find the rock or leaf the teacher wanted. The teachers who had raised sons of their own were wonderful at finding ways for their students to burn off energy while learning. <br /> <br /> A substitute teacher once called to complain about my son's behavior in class. I very calmly asked, "Have you raised a son?" When she said “No,” I said, "Please discuss this issue with another teacher who has raised a son, and if you still have a problem, call me back. The substitute teacher did not call back, but sent a note to all parents requesting they pack one nutritious snack the next day for their child. My son told me the teacher took each snack, put the child's name on it with a sticky note, and lined them up along a bookshelf, saying they were for the afternoon. If a child misbehaved, their snack was removed!!! NO SNACK FOR THEM...unless they could earn it back with good behavior and great helpfulness throughout the rest of the day. The substitute teacher quickly gained control of her class and the respect of my son. <br /> <br /> Thanks, Dr. Laura, for all you do...keep it coming!!!</p>
<p>Peggy</p>
Staff
2013-03-13T17:34:00Z
Being My Best for My Hubby
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-My-Best-for-My-Hubby/411649139619326366.html
2013-03-12T17:45:00Z
2013-03-12T17:45:00Z
<p>My husband and I have been married for 22 years and have a 16-year-old son. I am working on bringing my best to the marriage for him. I am now in a size 12 jeans, down from a size 16 a year ago. I take you on my walks and listen to you for about half of my route and then switch to music. <br /> <br /> I challenge myself by finding all the hills in my neighborhood so I can walk up them. You are my coach, the one who sits on my shoulder and says, "DON'T GIVE UP." I remember the podcast where you talked about trauma, describing how you tripped on a mountain hike. You got up and kept going. It's hard sometimes to keep going, but when I heard your hiking story, I forced myself to break into a jog, which gets the juices flowing, because <strong><em>you </em></strong>forced yourself to run the rest of the way down the mountain with a bleeding knee. I didn't regret it. <br /> <br /> I am also my hubby's girlfriend. He works nights and yesterday just before he left for work we got into an argument. It was stupid, and I decided you would tell me to put on the sweetness when he came home. So, I stayed up until 1:00am to see him come home. I tried to initiate some make-up love-making, but he was tired and wanted me to rub his legs instead. Hardly as much fun for me, but everything was all good when we went to bed. <br /> <br /> Thank you so much for being my inspiration for keeping my marriage happy.</p>
<p>Lisa</p>
Staff
2013-03-12T17:45:00Z
A Stay-at-Home Mom Who Works Outside the Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Stay-at-Home-Mom-Who-Works-Outside-the-Home/-909381229566695484.html
2013-03-11T18:26:00Z
2013-03-11T18:26:00Z
<p>I was a working mom when my son was younger. My husband didn't think women should stay home, but instead should be helping with the household income.</p>
<p>So imagine my surprise when I got roses and an envelope at work one day that said "For Your Boss." Inside the envelope was my resignation letter that my husband had written for me stating that I was needed at home and I was giving my 2 weeks' notice! When I asked him why he had changed his mind, he said that God had laid it on his heart that our son needed me at home and that we would be ok. That was in 1995. We soon added 2 daughters to our family and, yes, there were some financial struggles along the way but we have never regretted our decision.</p>
<p>My husband is a wonderful husband, father and provider. My son is now happily married and my daughters are in high school and very active with school and sports. And…I have been there for everything. I have been room mom, team mom, snack bar mom, you name it, I've done it. I have been asked many times what I do all day since I don't "work outside of the home." I respond with, "I do work outside of the home. I work every day to be there for my kids, their friends, and their schools. I work to ensure that my children are productive, God-fearing citizens, who stand up for themselves. I work to make sure they love and care for those around them. Raising children doesn't just happen in the home, it happens outside the home and it is a lot of work. So, yes, I do 'work outside the home' and thank you for asking."</p>
<p>So thank you, Dr. Laura, for telling parents they need to be there for their children and it can be done. It is hard but the payoff is so worth it.</p>
<p>Keep up the good work, Dr. Laura!<br /><br />Jill</p>
Staff
2013-03-11T18:26:00Z
My 'Brainwashed' Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Brainwashed-Kids/-757709576744629794.html
2013-03-08T19:17:00Z
2013-03-08T19:17:00Z
<p>I was listening when you spoke to an 18-year-old girl about how important it is for a child to have a mother vs. paid help. You told her she was “brainwashed” because she had not experienced a mother who raised her (she had a nanny or day care as a child). Well I have a story to share that’s the flip side of that one:</p>
<p>While out walking with my 20-year-old daughter, who was home for the weekend from college, and my 18-year-old son, a senior in high school, we passed a playground where twin boys, around 2 years old, were playing in the sand, while their 2 nannies chatted nearby. On our way back from our walk, we passed the nannies and boys again. One of the little boys was sobbing, and my son said "That's so sad". I responded to him, "I know, the poor little guy probably fell down at the park." He said, "No, Mom. It's so sad that it's a Saturday and he has to go to the park with his nanny. It's so sad that his mom didn't take them out and play with them like we used to do." <br /> <br /> Dr. Laura, I was a stay-at-home mom for 20 years and returned to work this year. I work for a very family oriented company, and am fortunate to have a job so close to home and hours that work around my family's schedule. I would not have traded those 20 years for any amount of money. It’s been my greatest joy to have been there for my kids. I am happy to know that my being there for them has "brainwashed" both of them so their kids will also have a mom to take them to the park, kiss their boo-boos and love them completely.<br /> <br /> Thank you for all you do to for our families!<br /> <br /> Marie</p>
Staff
2013-03-08T19:17:00Z
Advice for Being Intimate with Your Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Advice-for-Being-Intimate-with-Your-Man/-142550842256059525.html
2013-03-07T19:57:00Z
2013-03-07T19:57:00Z
<p>Women's attitudes seem to be that when their kids need water they're thirsty, but when their husband wants lovin' he's a jerk!</p>
<p>My husband and I have a great marriage and an amazing love life. When friends ask how to get their husbands to look at them the way mine looks at me, I tell them it's simple: sex for men is a need. If my kids are thirsty in the middle of the night, I get them water and take care of their needs, so why should my husband's needs be any less important? <br /> <br /> I hear women tell me how tired they are and I laugh. I'm a stay-at-home mom with 7 and 9-year old children who I homeschool. I double as the teacher, housekeeper, gardener, chauffeur and chef. When friends tell me how tired they are, I tell them, "I'd be much more tired if I were doing this alone, which is more likely to happen if you don't take care of your man (and besides, a little lovin' helps everyone sleep better)."<br /> <br /> Thanks, Dr. Laura for all of your great advice over the years and, on a personal note, thanks so much for supporting home schooling: knowing you were supportive really helped give me the courage to do it and it has been amazing! Thank you so much!<br /> <br /> Tammy</p>
Staff
2013-03-07T19:57:00Z
Finding a Land of Contentment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finding-a-Land-of-Contentment/-972469209120488897.html
2013-03-06T18:32:00Z
2013-03-06T18:32:00Z
<p>Hi, Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>This is how you and your book "Bad Childhood - Good Life" saved my life.<br /><br />My childhood was a life of chaos on the road for nine years with indifferent parents. I was repeatedly abandoned, including the day I was left on the side of a highway at six years old. I then spent nearly ten years in an orphanage, where no one came to visit.</p>
<p>When I aged out of the orphanage, I didn't know how to rise beyond despair, but I did realize that it was up to me to find a meaningful life. However, I was not yet emotionally equipped to make that happen. Personal relationships, including my marriage and those with my children foundered and nearly dissolved. <br /><br />Then I found you, Dr. Laura. I started listening to you on the radio in the 1990s, and was relieved to know that someone seemed to have real solutions that might benefit me. You daily drilled into me themes of self-determination, personal responsibility and willpower to do what was exceedingly difficult but necessary for achieving emotional balance.<br /><br />I heeded your words, stopped dwelling on my past, changed my behavior toward others, focused on positive solutions, recovered precious relationships, and grew my marriage and family into a haven where nurturance still flourishes.<br /><br />Though we never met Dr. Laura, you were my mentor who guided me to this point in my life. Several years ago, I realized I had arrived at a destination I had long sought over the past sixty years. It is a sublime place, a place I wish never to leave and one where everyone should dwell--it is the realm where contentment lives.<br /><br />I am grateful you shared with me a map for finding this place. Like you, I would like to make others aware of the route to a land of contentment, especially those who believe insurmountable obstacles block their way.<br /><br />Regards,</p>
<p>Joel</p>
Staff
2013-03-06T18:32:00Z
Losing My Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Losing-My-Dad/-227234645954638352.html
2013-03-05T18:48:00Z
2013-03-05T18:48:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura, <br /> <br /> I was a lucky adult and had my dad for 49 years before he succumbed to cancer. He was a robust rancher, a good dad to his daughters, a great husband of 51 years to my mom, and a great community citizen.</p>
<p>He endured radiation so that he could say goodbye to his entire family. One day when I was there, he sat down with me and started to cry. I had never seen him cry, so I held his hand and asked him what he wanted to say. His comment was, "I'm accepting I have to die, but I don't want to. I'm not ready to leave you yet." We both had a cry and then he wiped his eyes, said "Enough of that," and went back into the front room. He grabbed my mom, hugged her and said, "I've been pretty lucky to have you. You've been a great gal."</p>
<p>A week after the radiation was finished; he lost his voice and his body. The beauty was he never was in pain and for that we were thankful. During my last visit with him in the hospital, I kissed him on the forehead, told him that if I could change places with him I would, and that this wouldn't be so hard if he had been a jerk of a Dad! I laughed and he could only smile. His last whispered words the next day were to my mom and those will stay between them. I would have said nothing differently, and his saying that he wasn't ready to leave meant even more than "I love you".<br /> <br /> God go with him and all farmers and ranchers.<br /> <br /> Donna</p>
Staff
2013-03-05T18:48:00Z
Reminded Why I Stay Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Reminded-Why-I-Stay-Home/693018840664648160.html
2013-03-04T19:19:00Z
2013-03-04T19:19:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have been a stay-at-home mother since my 7 1/2-year-old daughter was born. I also have a son who is almost six.</p>
<p>As my kids have been getting older, I’ve been thinking (and getting excited about) the possibility of working outside the home. My oldest is in school full-time, but my youngest won't be until September. I've been keeping an eye on the newspapers. I've been thinking about the paycheck. What will I do? Won't it be nice? I've been thinking about the new work clothes I'll need... People keep asking me when I'm going back to work. (I've been told many times that I'm wasting my degree staying at home).</p>
<p>Today when I got home from picking my son up from school, he fell and bonked his head. The poor little guy was crying and I swooped down and scooped him up. He wrapped his little arms around my neck and stopped crying IMMEDIATELY. It occurred to me that no one else on this planet could have calmed him down as fast as I did. No one. Not even my husband.</p>
<p>We went inside the house and I made lunch. As we were eating, he asked me "Mommy, were you the first person I saw?" I said "Yes I was." And then asked me, "Is that why I love you so much?" <strong><em>That </em></strong>is my paycheck. Nothing on this earth could be more rewarding than this.</p>
<p>Sincerely, <br /> <br /> Julie</p>
<p><em> </em></p>
Staff
2013-03-04T19:19:00Z
Rewards of No Longer Being a Nag
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Rewards-of-No-Longer-Being-a-Nag/-2922317467055258.html
2013-03-01T18:26:00Z
2013-03-01T18:26:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" within a few years of my marriage, and am embarrassed to say I could benefit from additional readings. However, I do remember one piece of advice from you and it was not to be someone who nags. I've implemented this in every aspect of our marriage, and have prided myself internally for not being "one of those wives." My husband and I never really talked about nagging or lack thereof, but I realized how much better our marriage was after the thanked me in a roundabout manner the other day. <br /><br />Last week, he had a bit too much fun and liquor while out with the boys. It was only the second time I've ever seen him so many shades gone that he ended up getting sick in the middle of the night….<strong>all</strong>…<strong>over</strong>…<strong>the bed</strong>. Needless to say, I helped with some clean up and endured a restless night. The next day was our daughter's birthday party. Instead of being upset, I laughed with him about his adventure and told him he needed to finish his handiwork by cleaning up. The day and week went on.</p>
<p>He came home the other night, a bit more loving than usual and wrapped me in a big bear hug. "Oh, no, what did you do now?", I thought. He said in the many re-tellings of his adventure, he realized that not once did I ever yell, get mad, or lash out at him for the incident. I told him, "What good would it have done?" The answer was nothing. No good. So I hadn't. And you know what? He cleaned the mess, learned a lesson, and we went on to enjoy our daughter's birthday party together.<br /><br />The aftermath and next day could have gone very differently, and not as pleasantly had it not been for your guidance.<br /><br />Thank you once again, Dr. Laura for all you do and more!<br /><br />Nicole</p>
Staff
2013-03-01T18:26:00Z
I've Had Two Real Men in My Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ive-Had-Two-Real-Men-in-My-Life/-143901789199338430.html
2013-02-28T18:54:00Z
2013-02-28T18:54:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My dad died 9 years ago when I was 46. I still miss him like it was yesterday. My dad was tough, but so loving, especially as he aged. When I became an adult I would jokingly tell people I never had an opportunity to stray off the "Straight and Narrow" because my dad was an ex-Marine drill instructor, a Baptist deacon, and he worked for the Texas prison system (I actually lived on two different prison units as a pre-teen and teenager!)</p>
<p>My dad loved my mom and his children and grandchildren. His job was to love, protect, and discipline. He took his job seriously, but was also fun-loving, and full of grace when the occasion called for it.</p>
<p>As my dad was dying from congestive heart failure (partially due to the extreme cold he experienced during his Korean War years), we could tell he was hanging on, because his job was to love and take care of my mom. As he drifted in and out of consciousness, I told him it was okay to go; that we'd take care of mom. My wonderful husband (we've been married 32 years now) promised him he would take care of his mother-in-law. It seemed to make a difference and he passed away peacefully. Those were hard words to say, to release a man we loved so much, but they had to be said.<br /> <br /> To this day my husband has kept his promise. He loves and takes care of his family, and especially his mother-in-law. I've been blessed to have these two great men in my life, and now we have a 26-year-old son who is proving to follow in his dad and “Pawpaw's” footsteps. The example our kids have seen in their granddad's and father's lives has made a huge difference.</p>
<p>Keep doing what you're doing, Dr. Laura, as you promote family values and doing the right thing!</p>
<p>Best Regards,</p>
<p>Vetta</p>
Staff
2013-02-28T18:54:00Z
Traits of a Truly Beautiful Person
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Traits-of-a-Truly-Beautiful-Person/-711766115777904552.html
2013-02-27T17:56:00Z
2013-02-27T17:56:00Z
To me, the most important ingredient of human beauty is character. In today's world we see all the 'beautiful people' who run around having affairs, or marry multiple times, or just behave irresponsibly, and then whine that they're not really "...anybody's role model." Well, you get the picture. <br /><br />A truly beautiful person has character. He or she may not be beautiful in the world's definition, but they are beautiful because:<br /><br />1: They are honest with themselves and others. <br />2: You can depend on them. If they give their word, it happens. <br />3: If they do make a mistake, they take responsibility for their actions/words and then try to change their behavior or language. <br />4: If you need them, they are there. They will spend their own precious time and take you to lunch just to let you talk while they listen. <br />5: They always do their best. <br />6: They don't care what others think of you, they stick by you and have your back.<br />7: They never run you down in public. <br />8: If you are wrong about something, they will take you aside and tell you why. <br />9: They don't need to always be in the spotlight or center stage. <br />10: They have self confidence and a belief in what they stand for and what they are all about. <br /><br />To me a person with CHARACTER is the most beautiful person there is. And, the best part about this? There can be any number of truly beautiful people in this world!<br /><br />Thank you for reading this.<br /><br />Frank
Staff
2013-02-27T17:56:00Z
A Reminder about Second Marriages
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Reminder-about-Second-Marriages/-739834606211031832.html
2013-02-26T18:30:00Z
2013-02-26T18:30:00Z
Hi Dr. Laura<br /><br />I just want to say to all the divorced or single parents with minor children to listen to your advice regarding marrying. I have been married for the second time for thirty years. We both had 2 preschool children coming into the marriage. <br />This has been a very hard marriage. When you tell folks the children will not be treated the same, you are right. To this day, my husband does not treat my kids the same. He is good to them, but different. They are now all grown with families and we have 10 grandkids between us. Even the grandkids are treated different. And although we have been married 30 years, it doesn't mean it works. I wish I could have listened to you back then. I have made my life, but I don't wish this on anyone. <br /><br />These divorced or single parents need to raise their kids until they are out of the house. The kids should be the most important people in their life. <br /><br />Our children are good adults with good jobs. At least we did not screw up their lives too much. We were just lucky.<br /><br />Thank you for letting me vent.<br /><br />"A Fan"
Staff
2013-02-26T18:30:00Z
How Listening to Dr. Laura Has Helped Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Listening-to-Dr.-Laura-Has-Helped-Me/-887704149891859675.html
2013-02-25T18:27:00Z
2013-02-25T18:27:00Z
<p>Hello Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I came from a loving two-parent home; my mother was a stay-at-home mom. My brother and I didn't have everything, but we never lacked in the caring and love department.</p>
<p>I married a wonderful man when I was 27 years old, after approximately two years of dating (not shacking up). Our first daughter was born three years later, which came with a few growing pains. I struggled with the responsibility that came with being a new parent. I believed it was important to be a stay-at-home mom, but it was still much harder than I expected it to be! Guess my Mom made it look easy!</p>
<p>Two years later, our second daughter was born! My second baby was colicky and didn't sleep! Also, I was on medication for postpartum depression. That's where you came into my life in the most important way. I had already listened for years, but when I needed it most, you told me daily that I was doing the RIGHT THING!! Can't tell you how many days that kept me strong!</p>
<p>I have ALWAYS struggled with my weight (I was put on my first diet in first grade). And now I was at a all time HIGH of 255 lbs!! When my little one was 18 months old, I went to Weight Watchers. I KNEW I had to change. All the while I kept hearing you say, "MOVE MORE, EAT LESS".....again you were there!</p>
<p>Five years later, I am PROUD to say I am still a stay-at-home mom. I have four part-time jobs, all of which can be done while my kids are in school! In the last two years, I have run two half-marathons. And last October, I finished my first FULL MARATHON with my husband and girls cheering me on and hugs at the finish line!</p>
<p>You and I have spent many hours together training! On the days when I truly was tired and wanted to skip this one, you inevitably told someone "NOT TO BE LAZY"! When I thought, it was too hard - I would hear "SO WHAT!!!" Thank you for being you!! You have helped me, my marriage and family more than you could ever know!</p>
<p>Tracey</p>
Staff
2013-02-25T18:27:00Z
Professional Mommy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Professional-Mommy/-264936683915298918.html
2013-02-22T19:02:00Z
2013-02-22T19:02:00Z
Dr. Laura,<br /><br />As a traveling salesperson, I spent many hours listening to you on the radio as well as through your podcast. When I renewed my membership, you sent me a DVD of "In Praise of Stay at Home Moms". Since I was not a mother, I put the DVD in my laptop travel case and completely forgot about it. <br /><br />Before my husband and I were married, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer, which came as a complete shock because of his young age. The doctors told us that we should "bank" some baby makers because we would never conceive naturally after the radiation treatment. <br /><br />My husband and I were both consumed with our careers. The talk about when to have children started creeping into our conversations. He suggested I stop taking birth control and we will "just see what happens". Both of us, however, could hear the doctor's words in the back of our minds. We didn't believe it would happen and really didn't have our lives pointed in a direction for it to happen. In fact, I started a new job that I was super excited about and planned to get back on birth control right after my next menstrual cycle........which never came. <br /><br />I bought a pregnancy test and didn't even take it until I checked into the hotel late that evening. It was positive. I would be lying if I said the feminist talk wasn't racing through my brain. Needless to say, I wasn't exactly excited. I was in so much denial that I took two more pregnancy tests. I even purchased the digital brand just in case I was reading the instructions wrong or perhaps I had bought a "bad batch" of testers. After all ten came back positive, I let the news sink in. Then I remembered the DVD I had tucked in my laptop case. I pulled it out and watched. By the end of the DVD, the feminist in my brain had left. I WAS GOING TO BE A MOMMY!. The thoughts of the job, the boss, and the salary completely left my brain. <br /><br />I am now 32 weeks pregnant with a baby boy. I let my boss know last week that I wouldn't need maternity leave, as I would not be returning. <br /><br />My customers seem shocked when I tell them that I will not be back. They say, "I thought of you as a professional!" I just tell that I am: a professional Mommy. My friends tell me that there is no way I will be able to handle staying at home, and my mother-in-law brags that she was back to work one week after giving birth. <br /><br />I couldn't be happier about my decision; a decision that you helped me make. I could tell you a million stories about how I have used and shared your advice, but I feel that this decision will truly shape and define my new family life. <br /><br />With deep gratitude and great respect,<br /><br />Erin
Staff
2013-02-22T19:02:00Z
Overcoming the Familiarity of Dysfunction
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Overcoming-the-Familiarity-of-Dysfunction/-958395257835760699.html
2013-02-21T18:51:00Z
2013-02-21T18:51:00Z
Dr. Laura <br /><br />Thank you for teaching me how to be a wife. I was raised by a single mother who had 4 children and had a horrible outlook on men, so I never had an example of how to treat a husband properly.<br /><br />I overcame the familiarity of dysfunction and married an amazing man. We are both in our 30's and focused on our careers (we do not have any children). I began a new job about a year ago with the understanding that there would be some travel involved. However, on my first day I was blindsided when they sent me to work across the country for an entire week to a city I'd never been in before.<br /><br />When I returned, I was stressed out, tired and grumpy. When my poor husband picked me up from the airport, I started to bitch about<em><strong> everything</strong></em>! <br /><br />When we got home, I returned to a spotless house! The dishes were done, the bed was made....even the laundry was folded and put away. My husband had also picked up ingredients to make a homemade pizza and uncorked our favorite bottle of wine. I immediately thought of your wisdom about treating kindly. I gave him a big hug and apologized profusely for being nasty. We spent the evening together on the couch watching a movie, eating pizza, drinking wine and cuddling. It couldn't have been better and it was exactly what I needed. <br /><br />I have to thank my friend who introduced me to your program just a few years ago. I was brought up to think that men were useless creatures who will eventually let you down. But that's simply not true. <br /><br />Men who are happy go above and beyond to make their wives happy. Thank you, Dr. Laura, for teaching me how to be a good wife. Any woman can become a wife, but far too few do it well. I am my husband's girlfriend and my husband is more than my boyfriend. He is my love, every day, and I make sure he knows it. <br /><br />With Gratitude <br /><br />Jessie
Staff
2013-02-21T18:51:00Z
Women Need to Respect Themselves
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Women-Need-to-Respect-Themselves/-733517162359595395.html
2013-02-20T18:41:00Z
2013-02-20T18:41:00Z
Dr. Laura, <br /> <br />In my opinion, men do not court women like they used to because some men have lost respect for women. Frankly, a lot of women act as though they don't deserve respect. They act like sex objects, as if their highest worth is merely their bodily assets. <br /><br />Believe me, a lot of men (myself included) have a healthy desire to see women's bodies! They're beautiful. But when a woman is perfectly willing to display and even relinquish her body to a man -- and for free! -- without an obligation on the man's part to first give her a commitment of lifelong fidelity as a marriage partner, why should he bother with dignity, courtesy, and respect? The woman doesn't even respect herself. <br /><br />As someone said, "It's the rare rancher who will buy a cow when he can get its milk for free."<br /><br />John
Staff
2013-02-20T18:41:00Z
The One I Call Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-One-I-Call-Dad/297061884764506911.html
2013-02-19T18:50:00Z
2013-02-19T18:50:00Z
Dr. Laura: <br /><br />My son is 14 years old and I’d like to share what he wrote in the homemade card he gave his Dad for his birthday:<br /><br />
<blockquote>"Happy Birthday Dad! Hope you have a great day. I love you because you're always there when I need help, when school is getting difficult and when I'm having "teen" problems."</blockquote>
Then he added this poem.<br /><br /> He never looks for praises, <br /> He's not one to boast, <br /> He just goes quietly working, <br /> For those he loves the most, <br /> His dreams are all achieved, <br /> His wants are very few, <br /> and most of the time his worries, <br /> will go unspoken too, <br /> He's there....A firm foundation<br /> Through all out storms of life<br /> A sturdy hand to hold to, <br /> In times of stress, <br /> A true friend who loves you, <br /> The one I call DAD.<br /><br /><br />Angela
Staff
2013-02-19T18:50:00Z
How Many Kids Have You Got?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Many-Kids-Have-You-Got/-955592431949676940.html
2013-02-15T18:27:00Z
2013-02-15T18:27:00Z
<p>Before my husband passed away, someone asked him why, after over 23 years of marriage, we had NO children. God never blessed us with a child. </p>
<p>They went on to ask if we even <strong><em>liked</em></strong> children. To me, my husband's response was the best. He told them, "We have been trying so long and have not figured it out. I wonder what we’re doing wrong? Do you want to give us some pointers?" He then went on to say "You do know we are having the time of our lives trying though!" This person never asked us again about our lack of children.</p>
<p>We did however have a very important part in the lives of almost all of our 70 plus nieces and nephews. While they were growing up, if they could not get along with Mom and Dad, they came to our farm. They learned the facts of life while working our dairy, and had responsibilities doing cattle chores and helping with the house work.</p>
<p>I really miss my down-to-earth husband and use his sayings a lot to get points across. He had a subtle way of telling you things and not putting you down at all. He would just make you think. God bless his memory.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rosie</p>
Staff
2013-02-15T18:27:00Z
It's the Little Things He Does
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-the-Little-Things-He-Does/-839932339798645705.html
2013-02-14T18:39:00Z
2013-02-14T18:39:00Z
It is the little things my husband does that makes my love grow. They are not your BIG blow out type of things. <br /><br />Every month on the 22nd, I receive a rose which marks the day of our anniversary. We were married on December 22, 1990 and I have received a rose every 22nd, for the last 22 years.<br /><br />It's the other little things like getting my tea in the morning, or packing my lunch if I need lunch for the day. He still opens my door, and he supports me in all my endeavors.<br /><br />He is a loving and devoted father to our three children and a good grandfather to our two adorable grandchildren.<br /><br />He doesn't sit watching TV, but does things around the house like helping to clean or runs errands for our children.<br /><br />So, yes, he is my best friend, my lover and my husband!<br /><br />Thank you for letting me share.<br /><br />Karen
Staff
2013-02-14T18:39:00Z
My Husband Makes My Life Better
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husband-Makes-My-Life-Better/-780265668324163277.html
2013-02-13T19:12:00Z
2013-02-13T19:12:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>From the moment I met my honey, he started making my life better. From his all-around smiles toward me to his interest in finding out what makes me tick, he has been good to me.</p>
<p>When we were dating, he took time to find out what I liked to do and we did that on our dates. Luckily, we have a lot in common. He helped me with car troubles, friendship squabbles, and even walking my dog. Selfless and always a gentleman, he opens my car door, cooks me meals, brings me flowers to cheer me up or “just because.” What girl could resist all that!</p>
<p>He is now my “forever honey” and we are married with two children. He helps out around home and is an absolute hands-on daddy. I pray I never take what I have for granted. I am the most blessed and happiest woman alive. I could literally go on and on about my honey, but these are just some of ways he makes living good.</p>
<p>Emily</p>
Staff
2013-02-13T19:12:00Z
Forever Love at America's VA Medical Centers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Forever-Love-at-Americas-VA-Medical-Centers/-265623930996305150.html
2013-02-12T18:49:00Z
2013-02-12T18:49:00Z
Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Recently you asked, "How many women today could have survived a trip out West in a covered wagon, set up a homestead, and raise their kids?" This struck a chord with me. Can you see a Kardashian doing that? I laughed imagining it, and then thought that maybe 1 woman in 1000 today could do something like that. <br /><br />I am a medical device representative who calls on VA Medical Centers as part of my job. The most faithful, true, tough, loving women I see, regularly, are at the VAs. They are with their husbands, clearly together for decades, having known each other in better times -- young love in the 1940s, 50s, 60s, or 70s. <br /><br />These women have stood by their men, no matter what, for better or worse, through thick and thin, for richer or poorer, through it all. They've seen the best of times and maybe the worst. I admire the hell out of them. They remind me of my grandmothers, the delicate “true grit” ladies who just "got it done," did whatever was needed, and smiled too. They are becoming more rare, and it's a shame we are losing these role models. <br /><br />Just wanted to share another type of strength and “forever love.” <br /><br />My best,<br /><br />Kelly
Staff
2013-02-12T18:49:00Z
With Loving Gratitude
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/With-Loving-Gratitude/-353760057427647566.html
2013-02-11T18:00:00Z
2013-02-11T18:00:00Z
After being bombarded in mid-January with impending Valentine hype, I decided to make my Valentine's Day last for weeks. For the 21 days preceding February 14th, I have daily offered to my husband something I call "<strong><em>…With Loving Gratitude.</em></strong>" <br /><br />I started with a surprise movie excursion and gave him a love letter explaining how the next three weeks I would be making him my Valentine every day. I’ve put love notes and silly treats under his pillow, written him poems of gratitude when he opened the morning paper, and cooked muffins in heart shaped cups. I have sent messages to the sign boards at ballgames and had a masseuse come to our home for a spa treat. There are countless ways to make him smile; placing fresh berries in a little red colander and reminding him how good we are together despite the "strain" of everyday life. <br /><br />We are nearly 12 years married after having both been widowed in our 40's; me coming from a very joyful marriage, him not so. But what I do know is that while many never get a sweetheart even once in their life, I've been blessed with two and I think this might just continue to be an everyday thing for us. <br /><br />And, by the way, he has reciprocated in not only acknowledging each surprise, but by doing the dishes and whistling, making those small home repairs without any prodding on my part, and not touching the remote control when we drop into bed each night.<br /><br />I'm so blessed to have a Valentine every day and in every way.<br /><br />Kerry
Staff
2013-02-11T18:00:00Z
Outsourcing Jobs
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Outsourcing-Jobs/-612656556718815350.html
2013-02-08T17:55:00Z
2013-02-08T17:55:00Z
Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />Recently a news story about a software developer who was caught outsourcing his job to China has gone viral. I overheard a woman at the grocery store checkout line commenting about what a shameful action it was, and how lazy that man was for simply not doing the job he was hired to do.<br /><br />I laughed, and when she asked what was so funny, I said that working mothers who put their children in daycare do it ALL THE TIME and no one chides THEM for it. It was awesome, watching my meaning dawn on her. The look on her face was priceless.<br /><br />Peggi
Staff
2013-02-08T17:55:00Z
Perseverance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Perseverance/716737729126413598.html
2013-02-07T18:14:00Z
2013-02-07T18:14:00Z
Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I learned from a teacher/mentor not to give up. She encouraged me to stop and review a topic or concept if I did not understand it or became frustrated because I didn’t understand. I have carried this skill throughout my entire life in making financial, family and health decisions.<br /><br />I came from a large, low-income family, and being the middle child, many times, I was forgotten about. School was a place where my academic talents were rewarded. Because of my high academic ability, I was put in many “gifted” classes where assignments would sometimes require more time to complete. I had to choose whether homework or play would win my time. I learned if I completed the homework first, then the remaining time could be left for play. This lesson allowed me to participate in both activities.<br /><br />Through the years, this skill has continued to be used time and again. This past December, I was diagnosed with a severe case of Bell's Palsy (a form of facial paralysis). Discouragement and depression set in. But after a few weeks of wallowing in self-pity, I told myself that I still could talk, eat, drink, see, smell and hear. I told myself no other body parts were affected and I should be thankful to God that Bell's Palsy would heal over time. I went back to work recently (a little crooked on one side of my face), but I am still me and when the frustrations of life get me down, I stop and reevaluate my circumstances and then press forward!<br /><br />Terrie
Staff
2013-02-07T18:14:00Z
My Baby Daughter Has You to Thank for her Stay-at-Home Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Baby-Daughter-Has-You-to-Thank-for-her-Stay-at-Home-Mom/79662595129069063.html
2013-02-06T18:45:00Z
2013-02-06T18:45:00Z
Dear Dr. Laura - <br /><br />Today was supposed to be my first day back to work after four months of maternity leave, but I didn't go. <br /><br />Two weeks ago, I gave my notice, and you're a big reason why my husband and I decided the best job for me is to stay at home with our daughter. I interviewed nannies and even had a day care selected, but when I would think about leaving our daughter with a stranger, I literally got sick to my stomach. <br /><br />I have an MBA and have worked hard to get where I am professionally, but no job outside of the home compares to the one I have inside the home. I chose my husband wisely and definitely treat him kindly; we both support each other and realize that all the financial sacrifices we are making right now are worth being able to raise our own child. <br /><br />Shopping trips to Nordstrom have been replaced with coupon clipping and diaper runs, but you know what? I don't miss it, and I definitely don't regret my decision. Without the stress and time commitments of working outside the home, I can proudly say I have the time and energy to be my kid's mom and my husband's girlfriend. <br /><br />Thank you for all your preaching, teaching and nagging. I am proof that it works!<br /><br />Marcelle<br />
Staff
2013-02-06T18:45:00Z
From Working Mom to At-Home Mom Who Works There
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/From-Working-Mom-to-At-Home-Mom-Who-Works-There/-8478845517329070.html
2013-02-05T22:57:00Z
2013-02-05T22:57:00Z
Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I am very ashamed to say that I was the ultimate feminista. How bad was it? REALLY BAD!! Seventeen years ago my oldest daughter was born on a Thursday. My career was SOOOO important that I was back to work on Monday. <br /><br />On my way home from work every day, I would listen to your show until I was home. After listening to you for almost 2 years, I went to work one day and quit my job. My poor choice of a husband and I divorced shortly thereafter, and so I started my own business from home. For the last 15 years, I have done the majority of my work during the night (your podcast keeps me company while I work) so I can be my girls' mom.<br /><br />At one point when they were 7 and 4, I was offered a job out of the blue and told I could name my own salary. When I talked to my daughters about it, explaining to them that it would mean more money, but they would have to go to day care part-time, they looked at me and told me we didn't need any more money because they wanted me home. I credit you for instilling that wisdom in them.<br /><br />I have tried very hard to follow your guidance. My ex-husband married someone half his age and has no contact with my girls, so I purchased the house next door to my parents, and I don't date in spite of my parents and daughters telling me I need to. Also with your help, I do a fairly decent job of being both mom and dad. Yes, I can and do give the "dad" talk to any boy who wants to take my daughter on a date - most all of them are pretty scared of me! You have helped me to instill extremely high morals in my daughters that make me very proud. I can say with confidence that I will not be a grandma before my time!<br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura. I have not even begun to express all of the ways that you have made me a better person.<br /><br />Love and gratitude, <br /><br />Cindi<br /><br />P.S. You are absolutely right - families can make it on one income. If I can do it, anyone can. We don't have a lot of money, but we get by and my daughters are better people knowing that they may not have everything they want, but they do have everything they need.
Staff
2013-02-05T22:57:00Z
Things Are Looking Up!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Things-Are-Looking-Up!/-861675233006205367.html
2013-02-04T22:33:00Z
2013-02-04T22:33:00Z
Hi Dr. Laura!<br /><br />My wife and I have been married almost 10 and a half years. Things started out fantastic, but steadily got worse. A little over a year ago, she left me: part was my fault, part hers. After having felt extremely neglected for years, I had turned to alcohol for comfort, because I had not been getting any from her. She was also talking to a married guy friend who she had known for several years, and that really hurt me.<br /><br />I kicked the beer and she moved back in and stopped talking to her friend so often. I had also downloaded a lot of your Calls of the Day and listened to them in the car over the past year, many times while she was with me. In the last month or so, she has started "caring and feeding" me more, and our marriage has gone from good to great! She has also started reading "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" in the last couple days, so I think you are rubbing off on her in a very good way. She had almost driven me to the point of an affair, but that is totally out the window now.<br /><br />I wrote you several months ago, almost on the verge of tears listening to some of the callers who were their kids' mom and their husband's girlfriend. I would have almost killed for that then. But now I do have my wife as a girlfriend again, even with a 6 and an 8 year old and I love it. These last couple months that things have gotten better, you have been 100% correct -- my feelings have changed for her. I am not dreading coming home anymore. I have fallen back in love with her like I used to be. And I am so proud to have her on my arm. We went out for a date night last weekend and she put on her prom dress and got all dolled up for me. That was so huge, because she never wears dresses. It made me really excited she did that for me!<br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura! Keep doing what you are doing. You help people more than you will ever know!!!<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Keith, a (Now) Happily married man
Staff
2013-02-04T22:33:00Z
It's a Great Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-a-Great-Life/-983147611917992054.html
2013-02-01T22:27:00Z
2013-02-01T22:27:00Z
Dr. Laura:<br /><br /> <br />I had a great aunt who was a Vermont farm wife. One of her favorite sayings was "It's a great life if you don't weaken."<br /><br />I am now in my 50s and realize she was right. If we do what we need to do to stay physically, mentally, emotionally and morally strong - it is a great life, because then you can handle anything that comes your way.<br /><br />She was also a schoolteacher and taught me how to add in my head, which is an invaluable skill. I seldom need a calculator!<br /><br /> <br />Fiona<br />
Staff
2013-02-01T22:27:00Z
My Piano Teacher Taught Me to Play to my Strengths
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Piano-Teacher-Taught-Me-to-Play-to-my-Strengths/92328142906214305.html
2013-02-01T00:29:00Z
2013-02-01T00:29:00Z
Hi Dr. Laura!<br /><br />I was a music student when I originally went to college, with piano as my major. My piano teacher was brilliant and eccentric. Upon hearing that my ambition was to perhaps be a concert pianist, she responded, "You're not good enough." I was a little shocked at her bluntness and it probably showed in my face, so she explained further about how my obvious shortcomings would not only hinder me, but eliminate me from this particular vocation. It was a real eye-opener because I thought all I had to do to get to Carnegie Hall was practice.<br /><br />She didn't just stomp on my dreams and leave it at that, though. She also pointed out my areas of strength. As it turned out, while I love classical music, I love rock & roll as well, and wound up making a decent part-time income playing keyboards in a few local bands for about 15 years. I've also had a few piano students of my own and have found myself teaching very much the way she did.<br /><br />Eventually I shifted gears completely, and these days I'm an assistant instructor in my tae kwon do class, with both children and adults.<br /><br />The lesson was simple: Your dreams might be a bit out of reach, so play to your strengths and find your niche!<br /><br />Ann<br />
Staff
2013-02-01T00:29:00Z
My Father Found My Husband for Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Father-Found-My-Husband-for-Me/143267021749464935.html
2013-01-30T22:34:00Z
2013-01-30T22:34:00Z
Dr. Laura:<br /><br /><br />Recently on my ride home from work, I heard your comments on how a prospective boyfriend/girlfriend should meet each other's family. I have been happily married for 25 years and I owe it all to my dear father.<br /><br />My father did not approve of any of the boyfriends I had. He didn't have to tell me this because he would just give them a silly or absurd nickname, and then never really acknowledge their existence. He just went along without saying much. But that nickname, whatever he came up with, would let me know that the boyfriend was not to be taken seriously.<br /><br />Then I met my now husband, Mike. Surprise! I brought him home, introduced him to my dad who from that point on, only called him by his first name - never a nickname. My dad included Mike in all his activities: working on cars, fixing things in the garage, etc. I knew then that Mike was 'it' - My dad's respect for him was the gold star of approval. And now 25 years later, I know Dad still approves of my choice (or rather "his" choice) when he looks down from heaven and sees how happy his little girl is.<br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura for making my ride to and from work something I look forward to. I hope I can pass on to my children all the things I've learned from you. I wish I had known you when I was in my 20's...Life would have been so much happier for me.<br /><br />You are a wonderful human being.<br /><br />Beatriz<br />
Staff
2013-01-30T22:34:00Z
Changing My Attitude When Losing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-My-Attitude-When-Losing/714984163712361856.html
2013-01-29T23:55:00Z
2013-01-29T23:55:00Z
Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I was on a field hockey team when I was in high school. We lost almost all our games that year (I was a sophomore). One game we were ahead, but in the last 60 seconds, the other team scored twice. I was not on the field and slammed down my stick against the ground and swore under my breath. But it was obvious to anyone that I was angry and upset.<br /><br />The head of the girls' athletic program was at the game; she also was a gym teacher. She came over to me and reamed me out for the lack of sportsmanship and crude behavior. She said I was a representative of our school and this display of anger was not appropriate. I was steamed at her, of course, for telling me how I was supposed to behave. I did take in what she said though, and over the years of playing sports and life, I have used this lesson of self-control and positive attitude even when losing. <br /><br />I had her as my teacher in a weight training class later when I was a senior. I didn't really like her much, but in this class I learned 'self discipline'. I was able to set goals in the class and achieve them. She was gruff-looking and many girls didn't like her, but she helped me get an award my senior year as an 'All Around Athlete'. I guess I showed I had taken her lessons to heart.<br /><br />Meghan<br />
Staff
2013-01-29T23:55:00Z
Carrying the Title of 'Mrs.'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Carrying-the-Title-of-Mrs./722004875132368900.html
2013-01-29T00:13:00Z
2013-01-29T00:13:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>After my grandparents on my mom's side had been married for many years and had made three babies together, my grandfather abandoned my grandmother and his children and left to "find" himself and figure out life.</p>
<p>Nearly one year later, unannounced, my grandfather returned home. He spoke with a repentant heart to my grandmother and took responsibility for his actions. He recounted how God had spoken to his heart and given him the direction he needed to do what was right. He again promised his pledge of a covenant marriage to her and asked for her forgiveness. She accepted him back and soon after they celebrated the birth of identical twin girls. The youngest baby girl was my mom, who recently passed on.</p>
<p>My grandparents would eventually be married for more than fifty years. They traveled the world together and shared wonderful relationships with their family and many friends. If there was an event I could have experienced in my family's history, it would have been to see my grandmother's face when her husband returned and to witness the exchange of love and forgiveness that led to my mother being born.</p>
<p>Today is my 21st wedding anniversary, and on my right hand ring finger resides my grandmother's wedding ring. She was a gift to my mother and me, and set an amazing example of what it looks like to carry the title of "Mrs." I hope one of my own daughters will someday wear this ring and continue the legacy of knowing what it takes to be an excellent wife.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Debby</p>
Staff
2013-01-29T00:13:00Z
Becoming My Husband's Girlfriend Again
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Becoming-My-Husbands-Girlfriend-Again/-202210345984411925.html
2013-01-26T00:12:00Z
2013-01-26T00:12:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>I recently reconnected with your show, and it has already changed my marriage. I am a stay-at-home mom with two small children. I have been married for almost five years to a WONDERFUL, hardworking husband who treats me like a queen.</p>
<p>Since having children, our marriage had started to lack intimacy because of our busy life raising them. The last thing I wanted to do after a day of chasing kids and changing endless diapers was cuddle up to my man and be sexy. I passed this off as normal and that all moms feel this way.</p>
<p>After a few short weeks of listening to your show, I knew I had to become my husband's girlfriend once again. As I heard you suggest many times to others, I slowly started to cuddle up to him in front of the TV after the kids had gone to bed, instead of going to sleep myself. This led to conversing with a glass of wine and reconnecting in a way that had been lacking for quite some time. I cannot tell you how good it felt to become my husband's girlfriend once again. I thought our marriage was strong before, but it has become even better and it's because of your show. You have taught me that physical touch is what my man needs and wants. And it turns out, it was what I needed and wanted as well! I have heard others talk about your book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and plan to read it myself.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura. Who knew that sex could be so therapeutic? Well, you did and now I do too!</p>
<p>Sincerely-</p>
<p>Lyndsey<br />My husband's new, sexy girlfriend</p>
Staff
2013-01-26T00:12:00Z
Blunt Conversations
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Blunt-Conversations/579266427694554247.html
2013-01-25T01:15:00Z
2013-01-25T01:15:00Z
<p>Dr Laura:</p>
<p>I've learned a lot from your show, but one of the things I've found most useful from listening to you is not to be afraid to ask blunt, point-blank questions.</p>
<p>I realize this is a trait of yours that you're often criticized for. But having been a regular listener for many years, I now recognize that you do it A) to get to the point... B) to keep the caller from dodging or obfuscating... and C) to move the show along, since after all - it IS a live radio show and listeners don't have all day.</p>
<p>I recently attended a funeral for a family member. While at the wake afterwards, I recognized a friend of the family who I had met before. I had heard through family members that he had been battling prostate cancer. He was seated by himself and it appeared to me that most folks who knew him were avoiding him. I always liked this gentleman, so I made it a point to sit by him.</p>
<p>After a few moments of pleasantries, I said "I've heard you've been battling your own health issues recently - if you don't mind me asking, how are you doing today?"</p>
<p>He seemed genuinely pleased and relieved that I had asked. He told me he was still in treatment, was doing better and appreciated me asking. I asked about the technical medical details and we ended up having a long conversation that was not only informative but educational.</p>
<p>On the way home, my wife was shocked that I had asked him about his health. But when I explained I was only asking out of concern (and not nosiness) AND that I allowed him the option to not answer the question, she admitted it was good that I had spoken to him.</p>
<p>So thank you for your years of on-air "bluntness mentoring." This is a life skill that will serve me well.</p>
<p>Regards,</p>
<p>Rob</p>
Staff
2013-01-25T01:15:00Z
After All These Years
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/After-All-These-Years/29163181672159441.html
2013-01-23T23:17:00Z
2013-01-23T23:17:00Z
Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Thank you for all your good advice. You have helped me be my husband's girlfriend and my children's mom.<br /><br />At dinner recently, I told my husband I loved being his wife and girlfriend. He looked at me and said "You're not my girlfriend; you're my <strong>wife</strong>." At first, I was disappointed, and explained what I meant. Then he said, "Debby, 24 years ago you did me the honor of becoming my wife. I didn't want any more girlfriends. I wanted you to share my life with me through everything bad and good. Girlfriends don't stick around for life." He then told me how much he loved me and how happy I make him. He knows what I do for him and our family, so he has everything he has ever wanted.<br /><br />This touched me deeply. I know he loves me. He works hard for me and our family. And I knew I was on a pedestal, but it was an amazing feeling to hear that I <strong>still</strong> make him feel that way after all these years. It melts my heart.<br /><br />Dr. Laura, you have helped me become this person, as my mom was married 5 times, and she was not exactly the role model I needed. I am so fortunate to have found you. <br />Thank you!<br /><br />Debby<br />
Staff
2013-01-23T23:17:00Z
Doing Things the Proper Way
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Doing-Things-the-Proper-Way/-960634215470426954.html
2013-01-23T01:29:00Z
2013-01-23T01:29:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>My husband and I have been married for 31 years and have 3 grown children. As they were growing up, we were their parents and not their friends. Other parents thought we were too tough on our kids. We found that kids live up (or down) to the expectations that you hold for them. Though our children were not always angels, they were relatively easy as children go. All 3 are now productive members of society, starting families of their own.</p>
<p>When the middle one graduated from college and got a job she announced she was going to move in with her boyfriend. All her friends were doing it and they wanted to save money to get married. I calmly told her she was an adult and could make her own decisions, but I was also an adult and would not pay for her wedding if she shacked up and played house before the ceremony.</p>
<p>She argued they would be able to save more money with only one rent bill and set of utilities. I said they should each get a roommate, and live down the street from each other but not together. She said the only thing keeping them from getting married was the money for him to buy her a ring. If that was the only thing, then I would give her my first engagement ring (my husband had bought me a bigger one after 20 years of marriage and my old one was sitting unused in my jewelry box). She didn't want to do that because she wanted it to come from him. "My point exactly, I said. If you wait and do things the proper way, they have so much more meaning."</p>
<p>She was mad at me, but did what I suggested. They both got roommates. He saved up enough money to buy her a beautiful ring and they are engaged to be married. She admitted to me after she got engaged that she was glad she listened to me.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura, for helping me raise my kids to be adults who make me extremely proud.</p>
<p>Joyce</p>
Staff
2013-01-23T01:29:00Z
At a Fork in the Road
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/At-a-Fork-in-the-Road/361423558132236062.html
2013-01-22T01:15:00Z
2013-01-22T01:15:00Z
<p>I wanted to share a success story from one of your disciples. I bought "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" a few months before my wedding and devoured it, only to receive two more copies of the book at my bridal shower! My husband and I are both 22-years-old and we have been married for six months.</p>
<p>Last week was the one year anniversary of the day he proposed to me. While I am not one to a care about holidays like Valentine's Day, I do care about our special days because I like to celebrate “us”. I reminded him the day was approaching and suggested we do something special, to which he assured me we would and that he would surprise me.</p>
<p>Our "anniversary" arrived and I could not wait for him to return home from work! I didn't start making dinner, because surely our special evening would include a fabulous meal! Daniel arrived home from work whistling and in a great mood, only to inform me that he would be eating whatever I had prepared for dinner very quickly because he needed to fix something on the car that evening.</p>
<p>At that moment, I had two routes that I could go. One would be to pout, turn into a grouch and make him pay for this "trespass" against me. I chose the other route, which was to cheerfully whip him up dinner, give him a kiss and laugh to myself about his forgetfulness. I reminded myself that the reason it probably wasn't on the forefront of his mind was because he had been working all day to provide for me!</p>
<p>I chose to not remind him what day it was, because I knew he would feel terrible for forgetting! Thankfully, he arrived at the conclusion by himself and called me into the next room to give me a hug and apologize for forgetting. We laughed about it and he promised to take me out the next night to whatever restaurant I wanted. We sat and recounted the day he popped the question, and when his eyes filled with tears when he was remembering that day, my heart was bursting with thankfulness that I had chosen to DO THE RIGHT THING and not make him "pay"! He loves me and did not forget about me on purpose!!</p>
<p>I write this not to convince you that I am an awesome person, but to encourage women to keep the right perspective and choose to be loving and sweet. It is amazing how much more peaceful we are when we don't have the mindset that we deserve to be princesses all the time!</p>
<p>Sincere thanks to you,</p>
<p>Caroline</p>
Staff
2013-01-22T01:15:00Z
The Bravest Thing I've Seen Someone Do
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Bravest-Thing-Ive-Seen-Someone-Do/200070944341257202.html
2013-01-19T00:13:00Z
2013-01-19T00:13:00Z
<p>I have the honor of being a member of the combat veterans here in the United States and see superhuman bravery daily. But what always got me, was even though many would never see home again, they would quietly head out and do their missions. The bravest thing I've ever seen is a young man or woman signing their name to a document that has set them onto a dangerous path that may cost them their very life, but they are OK with it, because it means their loved ones will continue to live free.</p>
<p>It's funny though because while I say those men and women are the bravest for signing up and doing their duty, I don't think of myself in that manner. I was just doing what my father trained me to do and the Army polished me up. I always figured that if I died defending the nation I love, then I would simply wake up to be with our Lord.</p>
<p>May the Peace and Love of Christ be in you. Thank you for all that you do.</p>
<p><br />Michael</p>
Staff
2013-01-19T00:13:00Z
How to say 'I Love You'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-to-say-I-Love-You/-189905458328495286.html
2013-01-17T23:50:00Z
2013-01-17T23:50:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>My husband of 23 years doesn't <strong><em>say</em></strong> the words "I love you" very often. </p>
<p>This past month, we've been trying hard to keep an even keel as his health has been sketchy. But any time I ask him to slow down for me because I'm scared for him, he just looks at me and tells me that I'm the reason for him to keep going. He never has to actually tell me he loves me as long as he keeps telling me that I'm his reason.</p>
<p>I might be scared, but I also know he will fight to stay with me to his last because I am his reason to keep going.</p>
<p>Proud mom of two young men<br />and much loved girlfriend of 25 years,</p>
<p>Pam</p>
Staff
2013-01-17T23:50:00Z
Choking on My Dinner
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Choking-on-My-Dinner/-308108330487812948.html
2013-01-17T00:06:00Z
2013-01-17T00:06:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I wanted to share a funny moment that happened around my dinner table last night... I am sure you will appreciate my ten-year old daughter's words.</p>
<p>My daughter has poor table manners. She slurps her food, talks when her mouth is full and overall has poor posture while eating. I am working with her to improve her "manners".</p>
<p>I explained to her that people in the world will make judgments about who she is and how she respects herself by the way she behaves at table when eating. So I said to her last night: "Show me your wonderful table manners this evening!" She straightened up her posture and said "ok!"</p>
<p>Half way through the meal she was talking with her mouth full and reverting back to old "manners". I gave her a "mom" look. Her eyes met mine and she said, "I am sorry Mom... You're asking me to be a cat when I am a dolphin. So stop being mad at me for being a dolphin! I just can't eat neat!"</p>
<p>I starting laughing so hard I was choking on my dinner. Too funny! I think perhaps I have told her too many times to stop trying to run into a wall and expect a doorway. It is what it is! Thanks for the dinner chuckles.</p>
<p>All the best and respect,</p>
<p>Kate - my husband's girlfriend and my kid's mom</p>
Staff
2013-01-17T00:06:00Z
Betrayal and Forgiveness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Betrayal-and-Forgiveness/876425807454810771.html
2013-01-15T23:03:00Z
2013-01-15T23:03:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>I received an unexpected gift from reading your book "Surviving a Shark Attack (on Land)".</p>
<p>In the 5 years since my divorce, I have struggled with the "need" to forgive my ex-spouse for her betrayal of our marriage vows in order to move on. Even she (through my kids) has relayed the message to "forgive and forget," but I have just not felt OK about doing so.</p>
<p>Around my ex-spouse's 40th birthday and after 11 years of marriage and with 3 children, she decided she did not want to be married to me anymore...only she didn't mention this to me. She changed her behavior instead to act as if she were not married by staying out late with new friends, had a "emotional affair" and then after a year of this behavior blamed me for our marriage failing. I finally accepted I could not be married to someone who behaved this way, showed no remorse, took no responsibility, and made no effort to repair our marriage.</p>
<p>I recognize so much of my ex-spouse in your description of betrayers. How I did not see this before we signed our Ketubah, stood under the Chuppah and all during our marriage, is part of my learning and growth.</p>
<p>Reading your book has helped me understand that some betrayals are unforgivable and that I am not a bad person if I do not forgive. I am not stuck in “victimhood” and continue to derive great pleasure in my work as a physician helping others. It was that work along with a handful of true friends that helped me through the shock of betrayal and to heal and move on.</p>
<p>My focus is on the lives of our 3 children ages 13, 15, and 16. They love their mom and their dad and despite the overwhelming urge to be vengeful at times, I have not done so. My daughter has started asking me why I am not closer to her mom. At this time, I have decided to simply say, that "your mom and I are no longer friends, and I go out to dinner with friends". I do not feel my daughter is ready for any detail of why we are not friends. Someday, I expect that she will.</p>
<p>Thank you for writing and sharing your personal tale of betrayal. It has helped me to further heal and move on.</p>
<p>Please, please, retire only posthumously.</p>
<p>Steve</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2013-01-15T23:03:00Z
I Am The Dragon
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Am-The-Dragon/770551417685852652.html
2013-01-15T00:28:00Z
2013-01-15T00:28:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am my husband's girlfriend and my two dogs’ mom. I am very fortunate to have married a REAL man.</p>
<p>On Christmas Eve, I had a whim to paint our kitchen, pull up the old tile, and refinish the hardwood floors underneath. Some whim, I know, but spontaneity is a pattern with me! I drove to the home improvement store in the snow, picked some paint that I liked and began my project that night. By the end of the week I had had it. I was entirely frustrated. I had already used many coats and it looked terrible. Needless to say I was not very pleasant standing in the middle of the room cursing to myself under my breath.</p>
<p>My dear, sweet man came into the kitchen to ask if I would like him to set up a Christmas movie for me and rub my feet. I couldn't think of anything I would like more at that moment and said "Yes, please. I'll clean up and be there in twenty minutes." He then said, "Great, but could you leave fire-breathing-dragon-Julie in the kitchen?!" Oh did we laugh. With that he changed my attitude and I changed the design plan. The kitchen turned out incredibly awesome and I greatly rewarded my husband for saving me from my own frustration.</p>
<p>Thank you for all that you do, and all that you have taught me in my marriage. The best thing I did when we were first married was to buy and read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands".</p>
<p>Julie</p>
Staff
2013-01-15T00:28:00Z
Replacing Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Replacing-Mom/-963528868645412907.html
2013-01-12T00:17:00Z
2013-01-12T00:17:00Z
<p>I had been a stay-at-home homeschooling mom for 13 years when my husband's job was eliminated, which led me to go back to work as a registered nurse.</p>
<p>With my husband home to replace me, I re-entered this profession, which was now mostly full of strong, career-oriented, and competitive women. This was more than intimidating. I was actually ashamed every time someone asked me "so where did you work last?" and I responded that my previous job was 13 years before. I also got some pretty interesting looks when I explained that I had stayed home to raise my kids. When asked "How did your family survive?" I would say things like "we had one car, no TV, and I cooked at home all the time." Some actually laughed. I was immediately the oddball.</p>
<p>I began to regret that I had not at least kept up my skills over the years, until one day, one of the nurses opened up to me and told me how she worked so much overtime through the years that she was able to attend just two of her only son's football games. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, "You are truly RICH for all the time spent with your kids. I'm so jealous and I wish with all my heart I could go back. But now he is grown and it's too late."</p>
<p>That changed everything for me. I readjusted my straying thoughts and pride, and got back on track. I am SO very glad I did not miss one illness, one "first", one bubble gum-blowing contest, or all the long conversations. My heart still aches a little that my husband gets to be there now, but I do not regret one day of my decision to be "my kids’ mom" for 13 undistracted years.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for planting the seeds I needed 14 years ago that I can always be replaced by another nurse, but no one can truly replace "MOM".</p>
<p>Glory</p>
Staff
2013-01-12T00:17:00Z
Inspired to Pay It Forward
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Inspired-to-Pay-It-Forward/457314376926335336.html
2013-01-11T00:33:00Z
2013-01-11T00:33:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>It was my daughter's 7th birthday and I was required to bring her 1st grade class fresh flowers and snacks for the week. This was an extremely challenging financial time for our family where $10 was like gold. I headed to the store to buy these items and prepared to pay with the only money I had - piggy bank change.</p>
<p>Waiting in line at the register with my two younger children, I asked them wait for me at the exit door to spare them having to see me count out the pennies to pay. The man in line behind me quietly offered to help pay holding out to me a ten dollar bill. I politely refused, expressing I was very grateful and sincerely thanked him. In that moment, I wondered if he could sense my desperation or if the very sight of me counting change warranted help. Just then he was called over to another newly opened register as I continued counting out change.</p>
<p>A moment or two passed, when my cashier told me the man in the next lane over gave his cashier something to give to me and showed me a ten dollar bill. I immediately began sobbing big tears and couldn't stop. I was completely overwhelmed by the gesture and relieved to have an acknowledgment of support. Then the woman in line behind me offered a five dollar bill which I kindly thanked her, yet politely refused. One charity was more than enough!</p>
<p>Leaving the store I felt the lightness of an emotional release and the spirit of generosity. The man later saw me in the parking lot where I learned he was a father to two elementary school children also and living two streets over from us. He said he didn't mean to make me cry and I explained how the emotion overwhelmed me. I thanked him again and he ended the conversation by saying "just pay it forward."</p>
<p>The kindness from a stranger helped me in unexpected ways. I am inspired to want to help others in true need no matter how large or small and I think of this experience every time I do.</p>
<p>Catherine</p>
Staff
2013-01-11T00:33:00Z
Learning from My In-Laws
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-from-My-In-Laws/484649605666845393.html
2013-01-10T00:05:00Z
2013-01-10T00:05:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>I married 12 years ago, and from the day I met them, I got along well with my husband's folks. The day of our marriage, they took me in as their own daughter, and encouraged a good relationship between the four of us - maybe it's because with 11 children (a wonderful Mormon family!), they had had a lot of practice!</p>
<p>There has been a great sense of balance in allowing space but maintaining closeness with us. They involve us in decisions, and ask questions about future plans, such as "Would you like us to visit you guys this year? What time of the year would be best?"</p>
<p>They are totally flexible about celebrating a holiday on a different day if we're trying to 'share families'. However, I feel it's important to make sure that we share time evenly between the two sets of grandparents, and we trade off spending the actual holiday with each one, every other year, or by trading off Thanksgiving and Christmas each year.</p>
<p>Beyond just remembering birthdays, they also call just to talk with me for no particular reason sometimes. I love those talks, even though they're usually brief. The conversations always end in an expression of their love for me; and me expressing my gratitude to them for raising such a wonderful son and for teaching my husband how to be such a great Dad to our 4 children.</p>
<p>With this kind of frequent and positive communication going on, and with all of us being flexible and open-minded, it's hard to find any reason for bad feelings between us. Sadly, my husband lost his mom to cancer - but his amazing dad has kept the traditions alive, continuing to call often, and send out birthday cards to all 35 of his grandkids!! Wow. What a blessing good parents are to their posterity. I have learned so, so much from them.</p>
<p>Glenda</p>
Staff
2013-01-10T00:05:00Z
The Best Gift My True Love (and True Hero) Ever Gave Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Best-Gift-My-True-Love-and-True-Hero-Ever-Gave-Me/919754521588039348.html
2013-01-09T00:25:00Z
2013-01-09T00:25:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>My husband and I were married almost a year when we decided to start our family. Several months later, we found out we were having twin boys! However, I delivered them at only 28 weeks, and after 6 short days in the NICU, our youngest went home to Heaven. 63 days later, our eldest joined him.</p>
<p>We were crushed, but at my husband's insisting, I got pregnant again right away. I wanted another boy very badly, but was sure I would not get one, just because everything else had gone wrong with babies up to then. However, on December 7th, at 37 weeks, our new son was born, healthy, strong and quite special. He has been the light of our life. Shortly afterward, we had what I affectionately call our “fortunate accident” – and I discovered I was pregnant again, with another boy.</p>
<p>My sons are 14 months apart and are great buds. My husband is a great man and would do anything for us. He went back to school full time, while also working full time in order to facilitate my being a stay-at-home mom. I love my husband and the best gift he ever gave me was, well, himself really! Because of him, I have two great boys, a comfortable home and the privilege of getting to be with my babies every second of every day. (Not that there are not days I wouldn't mind a LITTLE quiet!) His heart truly is the best gift he could have given me.</p>
<p>Victoria</p>
Staff
2013-01-09T00:25:00Z
Courting Can Be Done in Many Different Ways
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Courting-Can-Be-Done-in-Many-Different-Ways/10889976187670265.html
2013-01-07T22:37:00Z
2013-01-07T22:37:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I wanted to tell you how amazing my husband is and that I had a revelation today about our relationship and thought of you.</p>
<p>We have been married for 6 years and have two sons who are 2 and 3-years-old. Recently, we took the boys to the aquarium (it’s the place we had our first date almost 8 years ago). I got very nostalgic about our dating life and how he used to court me. It had me daydreaming of our first months together and how he tried so much to impress me and be such a gentleman. I honestly got a little sad and resentful that that time is gone. I was really missing it and thinking our relationship would never be like that again.</p>
<p>Later that afternoon, I was at the gym running off the 30 pounds I still have on from back to back pregnancies and delivering 2 giant boys, when it hit me. My husband DOES still court me! It just looks entirely different!</p>
<p>He courts me by giving me this alone time to work on my weight loss and by being completely encouraging in every effort. He courts me by eating the diet foods I cook and saying he loves my curves. He courts me by playing in the snow with our 3-year-old instead of watching football while I have some time to myself. He courts me by doing part-time consulting work on top of his full time job so I can stay home with our boys which I've desperately wanted to do!!! He courts me by spending almost all of his free time with our family or working out his hot muscles. He courts me by going to church and putting God as the focus of his life and our marriage. Dr. Laura he DOES still court me and it looks not only different but much better than the dating life I was so missing at the aquarium.</p>
<p>Thanks for helping me pick a good man; you have been a tremendously positive influence on my life. Thank you for all that you do. Please never retire!</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Betsy</p>
Staff
2013-01-07T22:37:00Z
Standing Up Against a Bully
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Standing-Up-Against-a-Bully/958307056187956886.html
2012-12-21T19:49:00Z
2012-12-21T19:49:00Z
<p>Dear Dr Laura,</p>
<p>Cyber-bullying is no joke. It happened to a girl in my son's high school. Her ex-boyfriend created a derogatory Facebook page about her and the jokes and teasing spilled over into school life for this poor girl. My son was friends with the ex-boyfriend at the time, but he didn't think twice about turning the bully in when he saw how it was affecting the young lady.</p>
<p>The first result was that the school was quickly divided among those who supported my son for doing the right thing, and those who taunted my son stating that he should never turn his back on his "friends".</p>
<p>It has been two years since that happened, and through those two years my son said he would rather have a couple of friends with good character than a plethora of bullies on his side. I am proud to say that many of those who were at first mad at him for turning in this bully eventually realized that he was in the right, and have now apologized to my son for how they treated him and more importantly, they’ve apologized to the girl.</p>
<p>My son never wavered. And for that, a revolution of compassion began in his school.</p>
<p>It is up to parents to raise individuals of character and strength. The battle is not easy. It is a slow, steady progress of moments that show our children how to treat others and to stand for what is right.</p>
<p>I’m the proud mother of 3 amazing people, and supportive wife of the man who helped make them that way,</p>
<p>Amy</p>
Staff
2012-12-21T19:49:00Z
My 'Wonderful' In-Laws!!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Wonderful-In-Laws!!/-596659102731131758.html
2012-12-20T18:17:00Z
2012-12-20T18:17:00Z
<p>After years of therapy trying to figure out why my own mother didn't like me, I met my mom-in-law. She taught me true love between a mother and her daughter. No games, no nonsense, just a real back-and-forth relationship that I was so deeply longing for. We didn't always see eye-to-eye, but that was part of the charm: she still loved me even if I didn't agree with her. I was NOT used to that at all!</p>
<p>She just passed last February, and it is awful without her support and kindness, but I know she would want me to keep enjoying my life as she did hers. Part of the reason I married my husband of 21 years was his mom -- she made a huge difference in my life and in that of my two sons as well. We miss her greatly.</p>
<p>Linda</p>
Staff
2012-12-20T18:17:00Z
Differences Between the Sexes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Differences-Between-the-Sexes/528978380247956292.html
2012-12-19T14:56:00Z
2012-12-19T14:56:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura: I thought of you when I saw this humorous email in my inbox today from my wonderful husband... - Rumi<br /><br /></p>
<p>SHOPPING MATH</p>
<p>A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.<br />A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.<br />_______________________________________________________<br /><br />HAPPINESS</p>
<p>To be happy with a man, you must understand him a little and love him a lot. <br />To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. <br />_______________________________________________________<br /><br />PROPENSITY TO CHANGE</p>
<p>A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.<br />A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. <br />_______________________________________________________<br /><br />DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE</p>
<p>A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. <br />_______________________________________________________</p>
<p>HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED</p>
<p>Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and telling<br />me, 'You're next.' They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.</p>
Staff
2012-12-19T14:56:00Z
Dogs and Day Care
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dogs-and-Day-Care/872264099303575837.html
2012-12-18T14:16:00Z
2012-12-18T14:16:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>This year, my husband, son and I traveled 750 miles to spend Thanksgiving with my oldest son who is 21 and in the Air Force.</p>
<p>I am a stay-at-home mom, who has always delighted in creating a warm and pleasant environment for my family. Well, to prepare for this trip I had to leave our "children" (two black labs) at a local kennel. I found this very stressful since it would be 5 days away from them and I wasn't sure what to expect.</p>
<p>Two weeks before our planned departure, I called my vet and asked people at our local dog park for recommendations. I then visited and toured various kennels, asked questions and called references. I finally felt comfortable with a place and made arrangements for them. I have to admit I did call once during our trip to see how they were doing!</p>
<p>HERE is the shocking part...</p>
<p>I was telling someone this story and she was APPALLED and SHOCKED that my DOGGIE DAY CARE cost more than what she spends for HER KIDS in their day care....</p>
<p>I'm still speechless.</p>
<p>Sherry</p>
Staff
2012-12-18T14:16:00Z
I Thought Going Back to Work Was the Answer
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Thought-Going-Back-to-Work-Was-the-Answer/-657556841081217881.html
2012-12-17T21:32:00Z
2012-12-17T21:32:00Z
<p>I read your <a href="/b/Single-Income-Families-Are-Still-Possible/268320293455421521.html">blog about single income families</a> being able to survive in today's world. That's us. We've got 3 kids under five, my husband makes $60,000 a year and we just bought a house.</p>
<p>It can be done.</p>
<p>I sent your blog to a friend of mine who plans to go back to her high-demand job after having her first kid in July of next year. She may or may not like me anymore after reading the blog, but I'm willing to take that chance.</p>
<p>Recently, I was suffering from postpartum depression and thought it was because staying at home was too hard. I thought going back to work was the answer. I started looking for jobs and everything. I even got an interview. But as I was contemplating going over my resume and thinking about what to wear to my interview, I thought about actually getting up in the morning, leaving the house, and dropping my children off in someone else's care.</p>
<p>The thought, and the reality it might soon come true, made me feel physically sick. My stomach was actually churning at the thought. So I knew that wasn't the way forward. Instead I invested in some better vitamins! I'm feeling good now and am back on track as a stay-at-home mom.</p>
<p>Your encouragement always rings in my ear.</p>
<p>Thank you,</p>
<p>Stacie</p>
Staff
2012-12-17T21:32:00Z
Real Man Role Model
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Real-Man-Role-Model/630242814149168345.html
2012-12-14T21:31:00Z
2012-12-14T21:31:00Z
<p>My husband and I have three sons who we're raising to be real men. We have a traditional (some might say “old-fashioned”) division of labor, but I couldn't be more proud and fulfilled to be my husband's wife and my kid's mom. It's tradition in our home for our kids to make homemade birthday cards rather than buying messages written by someone else. My husband had a birthday a couple of days ago, and this is what our 17 year-old son had to say:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Dear Dad, <br /><br />As I've gotten older, I'm realizing more and more how lucky this family is to have you. You rarely complain about things...you just do the work. You've shown me and my brothers what hard work is and how to support a family. You've inspired me greatly to do great things and to make sure that someday my kids look up to me as much as I do you. <br /><br />Happy birthday, Big Guy. You're the man! I love you!</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Laura</p>
Staff
2012-12-14T21:31:00Z
The 18th Birthday
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-18th-Birthday/-140308443446881689.html
2012-12-14T00:19:00Z
2012-12-14T00:19:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Thank you for sharing wisdom with those of us lucky enough to read your books and listen to you on the radio. I'd like to share an incident that has a happy ending thanks to your admonitions on child rearing.</p>
<p>My son had some rocky times as a teenager, but that did not prevent us from having a close relationship. I think a big part of the problem was my ex-husband, who deserted us when he was four, returned ten years later and constantly told our son that I was too strict.</p>
<p>On his eighteenth birthday, we were sitting on the edge of his bed talking about various things, and he suddenly said, "You know what Mom? I'm free now." I smiled, took his hand and said, "No Sweetheart, <strong>I'M</strong> free now." I then gave him a few examples about housing, food, and medical care. He sat there thinking silently for a few hours, and by the time he came down for dinner he had an appreciative attitude that continues nine years later.</p>
<p>I owe a lot of my success to following your advice about providing loving boundaries and easy forgiveness for mistakes.</p>
<p>With much appreciation,</p>
<p>Ardyth</p>
Staff
2012-12-14T00:19:00Z
Our Happy Marriage - Now
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-Happy-Marriage---Now/817409409355133701.html
2012-12-12T21:35:00Z
2012-12-12T21:35:00Z
<p>Dear Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I have been married to my husband for 15 years and have 4 children. We have historically had a good marriage; however, over 3 years, I had 3 brain surgeries for a rare neurological disorder. I had to really go into myself to heal and unfortunately I did not see how lonely and terrified my husband had become. He was so compassionate to me and took care of me, but did not show his pain.</p>
<p>After my third surgery 2 years ago, I started to get better, but I was still going to bed every night around 8:30 or 9:00- including weekends. He began going out with some new friends who were big drinkers. He got out of control and was leaving the house often. By the time I realized what was going on; we were so disconnected, we were not making love and were just living together- not loving together. We decided we had to get back on track if not for anything else other than for the kids. He came from a divorced family with a never-there daddy and was desperate to not inflict that pain on his kids. I made some big changes, as did he. We worked daily on loving each other and becoming friends and lovers again. However I felt we were still missing something.</p>
<p>I listen to your program almost daily and heard a lot about your book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". Wow! What a difference those tiny little changes on my part made. He soaks up my love and affection and sweetness. He soars with it and barely goes out anymore. He would rather be with me than his drinking buddies and is so affectionate to me. To put it plainly, he treats me like a goddess. We are more in love and more connected than we have ever been! We are coming on a year now of working on our relationship and I see our relationship only getting better.</p>
<p>So thank you Dr Laura for your words for husbands who need to be loved and admired for the amazing strong, supportive and extremely generous men they are. You have helped us get our marriage back on track. By the way, I have recommended your book to many of my friends and family members! I think it is gold!</p>
<p>Tammy</p>
Staff
2012-12-12T21:35:00Z
Turning Drama into Sunshine
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Turning-Drama-into-Sunshine/124665750064240477.html
2012-12-11T23:02:00Z
2012-12-11T23:02:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>I have two teenaged boys (ages 18 and 15), and so far their teen years have been something of a breeze. However, I can already see that things probably won't go nearly as smoothly with my daughter, who is now 10. Where my boys are level-headed and introverted, my daughter is a social butterfly and has always loved to be the center of attention. Drama is just a way of life with her, although I am trying to teach lessons that will allow that passion to work <strong><em>for</em></strong> her, instead of against her. She is homeschooled, so I am constantly on the lookout for teaching moments.</p>
<p>This morning, for example, she woke up in a very cheerful mood - this is typical of her, as she's definitely a morning person. She decided that today was going to be fantastic, and she wanted to make breakfast for me. She is learning how to cook, and recently learned to make Poached Eggs on Toast, which is my favorite breakfast meal.</p>
<p>Things didn't go as well as she'd hoped. The eggs stuck to the egg cooker, the sauce turned out a bit lumpy, and the toast was cold by the time everything else was ready. She was inconsolable, and proclaimed between sobs that her entire day was completely ruined.</p>
<p>Thanks to you, Dr. Laura, I had the perfect answer for her. I explained I would be upset too, if something I was so excited about didn't go exactly right! However, it was only 10:35am, and it wasn't right to let that ruin the entire day. I told her she had until 10:45 - 10 more minutes - to cry and feel sad that her breakfast wasn't quite the way she wanted it, but then she'd need to take a deep breath and make a decision that the rest of her day was going to be filled with a good attitude.</p>
<p>Four minutes later, she returned with a smile, saying she was done being sad, and it was time to do something fun. We high-fived, I told her that I was proud of her because she changed her attitude even <strong><em>before</em></strong> her sad time was over, and we got ready to face the rest of the day.</p>
<p>Thank you so much for giving me the tools I need to help her to become a better person. I don't think I would have nearly the insight into what she needs in order to have a productive life without the lessons I've learned from listening to your show over the years.</p>
<p>Thank you from a truly grateful mommy!</p>
<p>Jennifer</p>
Staff
2012-12-11T23:02:00Z
Changing My Thinking Process
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-My-Thinking-Process/-87243862595119174.html
2012-12-10T23:43:00Z
2012-12-10T23:43:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura</p>
<p>Thank you for your opening monologues about health and stopping over-indulgent behavior. They really gave me a new perspective on some things I've been struggling with lately.</p>
<p>Two years ago, I looked in the mirror and decided I was sick of indulging my laziness and decided to get healthy. I have been obese for most of my life, and I began walking and started seeing a dietician to help me develop better eating and exercise habits.</p>
<p>I went gangbusters on this for about 18 months and lost about 100 lbs. However, I learned that I hadn't changed my thinking process. I stopped seeing the dietician, and without the check and balance of someone to check in with, I went right back to my old eating habits. And when my father (my workout partner) left to spend the winter down south, I went right back to my old exercising habits, which is to say I stopped exercising completely.</p>
<p>I've spent many months excusing my behavior with a variety of things (a job change, some pain in my legs, some stomach issues) and indulging my cravings and laziness, and I gained back 30 pounds.</p>
<p>Your commentaries were very difficult to listen to and I struggled not to turn them off. I think that was because I knew I would get smacked across the face with myself and my bad thinking. Thankfully, I didn't give in to my impulse to fast forward past them and listened instead, using the opportunity to take a long look at my life and my choices.</p>
<p>I plan to make a recording of these monologues to listen to every time I feel like regressing back to the easy, lazy way of thinking and have re-dedicated myself to my healthy exercise and eating habits.</p>
<p>Thank you so much for speaking honestly and frankly at all times and giving me and others the push we need to do the right thing and make the most of our lives.</p>
<p>Sandra</p>
Staff
2012-12-10T23:43:00Z
Each of Us Can Make a Difference
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Each-of-Us-Can-Make-a-Difference/-348368777671569775.html
2012-12-07T23:25:00Z
2012-12-07T23:25:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am grateful for my 13-year-old daughter, who is such a delight. I want to share a story with you as to why I am so grateful.</p>
<p>I went to her school one day to pick her up and while I was in the office waiting for her, her gym teacher looked at me and said, "You're ________'s mom, aren't you?" I said, "Yes?" He went on to say, "Well you know how teachers bust at the seams to tell a parent when their child does something wrong?" I said, "Yes?" He went to on say, "Well I am going to tell you what your kid did right today!" Her gym teacher told me they were doing some sort of a required run. He said my daughter, who is the fastest girl at school, completed it in record time. After she came over and sat down near him. She looked at him and asked, "Can I go run with Catherine?" (Catherine has a learning disability and is a little physically challenged.) He told her, "You have already finished your race." She responded, "I know, but I want to go run with her." So he told her to go ahead and he sat back to watch. My daughter ran up to Catherine and started talking and encouraging her; saying things like, "You got this." "You can do it." "We're almost there." "I'm so proud of you." Her teacher said Catherine not only finished the run, but beat her old time.</p>
<p>I sat there with tears flowing and he told me had my daughter not done this, Catherine would have given up and quit. He said, "You are doing something right at home and I will never forget that I got the honor of watching what I saw."</p>
<p>Melissa</p>
Staff
2012-12-07T23:25:00Z
Qualities of a Real Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Qualities-of-a-Real-Man/-913235451448349732.html
2012-12-06T21:35:00Z
2012-12-06T21:35:00Z
<p>I learned the qualities of a real man as a child more than 50 years ago, from men with memories reaching back as far as the Civil War; men who helped shape our world and saved it from a terrible evil.</p>
<p>It boils down to this: being trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent. Those are just to start. Then throw in liberal doses of real patriotism, honor, integrity, charity and loving your fellow man at least as much as yourself. Stand up against the evil of the world (and there's plenty of that to go around). Help your family, friends, neighbors, church and community as often and as much as you can without hurting your own family.</p>
<p>Then just be a good, useful member of society, <strong><em>contributing</em></strong> to its success, not <em><strong>feeding off </strong></em>of it. Marry a fine woman and then have children, and try to teach them also to be decent human beings as you have learned.</p>
<p>God bless you Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Bruce</p>
Staff
2012-12-06T21:35:00Z
Weight Loss Motivation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Weight-Loss-Motivation/548591871898303693.html
2012-12-05T23:02:00Z
2012-12-05T23:02:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>I am a new listener and I have to send this email of thanks because your advice has helped me stay motivated in my weight loss. Recently, you had two callers: a husband who was losing weight quicker than his wife and a lady who wanted to lose weight but couldn't seem to stick with it when life got "busy" – that one really caught my attention!</p>
<p>I am 41 years old, and am sorry to say I let my weight go after my children were born and my life became "busy". I allowed myself to gain roughly 60 pounds over the 15 plus years. I would talk frequently of losing weight over those years, but honestly, I think I was more in love with the "idea" of losing weight, than actually applying myself to do so.</p>
<p>Something clicked in my head in April of this year, where I was finally determined to take it off. I started going to Zumba classes 3 times a week, joined a free website to track my food and exercise, went on a 1,200 calorie a day diet, and purchased a heart monitor so I would know actual calories burnt during my workouts. In July, I went another step further and joined a health club. The trainer and I discussed my goals and she created a strength training program for me to maintain while I continued Zumba classes. I am very happy to report that since April of 2012, I have dropped 26 pounds. I tend to hit plateaus here and there, and they are frustrating, but I stick with it and stay on course. I have roughly another 30 pounds to lose and I have come too far to stop now.</p>
<p>Something I found that helps me is for every 10 pounds I lose, I take front/side/back photos of myself so when I'm feeling a little down because I haven't reached my goal yet, I can always look at these photos and see how far I've come (and that helps tremendously).</p>
<p>Your advice to this caller of "sticking with it" hit home for me and I just wanted to thank you for that.</p>
<p>Raquel</p>
Staff
2012-12-05T23:02:00Z
Poem: Choosing My Daughter
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Poem:-Choosing-My-Daughter/871463505251831711.html
2012-12-04T21:20:00Z
2012-12-04T21:20:00Z
<p>My child has a mom<br />Because I decided long ago<br />That I'd be there to raise her<br />I'd be there to watch her grow</p>
<p>She would learn there's nothing better<br />Than to have her by my side<br />No job could be more important<br />Than to have her as my pride</p>
<p>No paycheck could take her place<br />No person could convince me so<br />That someone else should do the job<br />Of being the mom she would come to know</p>
<p>My child has a dad<br />Because I decided long ago<br />That I would choose a man<br />Who would be proud to watch her grow</p>
<p>A real man that knew the importance<br />Of working hard so his kids would see<br />That they could trust in his presence<br />Because of him I could be me</p>
<p>My child has a real home<br />Never a day care will she come to know<br />Because I made the choices for her<br />So I could be there to watch her grow</p>
<p>[© Tova Hack]</p>
Staff
2012-12-04T21:20:00Z
It Took Me Awhile to Be Proud
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Took-Me-Awhile-to-Be-Proud/-336047084304170217.html
2012-12-03T22:03:00Z
2012-12-03T22:03:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>When I first started staying home it was hard for me emotionally. I knew there was nowhere else in the world I wanted to be, but I still felt like I wasn't contributing since I no longer had a paycheck. I went to the library and checked out your book, "In Praise of Stay at Home Moms." As I'm sure you know, you are in the minority. Your book was wedged between books on how to have it all as a parent by working. Your book, my husband's support and my 20+ years of listening to your show have given me the strength and confidence to be proud of my status.</p>
<p>I recently signed up for an online service where I am paired with mom groups. I did it in search of other moms who would want to support each other emotionally and for play dates. Today I received an invite for a group titled "Working Moms". Here is the first sentence of their blurb: "Despite the juggling act required to hold down a job and care for children, moms who work are healthier and happier once they overcome the guilt of being away from their children by maximizing their after-hours and weekend activities with their kids."</p>
<p>Needless to say this is not the group for me! I am appalled at the lies these moms are telling themselves. Thank you for being there to build me up even when my personal email is not safe from this malarkey.</p>
<p>I occasionally like to pity myself when I have not had a chance to use the bathroom in private, or a toddler is using crayons on my floor, or I have not had an adult conversation for 8 hours. Then I smack my forehead and remind myself I am home when my daughter learns a new word, I have time and energy to put a home-cooked meal on the table EVERY night, and when my husband desires affection I am NEVER too tired. (Okay, I was too tired once.) Then I throw my kid in the car and drive around so she can nap and I can have some alone time listening to you on the radio. I may even go to a drive-through and treat myself to an iced tea if I am feeling really wild!</p>
<p>Thanks again for supporting me in my quest to have a long lasting joyful marriage, raise children who will grow up to do positive things with their lives and to always be their mom!</p>
<p>Jessica</p>
Staff
2012-12-03T22:03:00Z
A Ribbon for Everything?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Ribbon-for-Everything/-468467296148471182.html
2012-11-30T20:24:00Z
2012-11-30T20:24:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have two young children. As soon as they emerged from babyhood, my husband and I started experimenting with giving them appropriate responsibilities, patient instruction/help in completing those tasks and praise when they did a good job. We avoid kudos when no special effort is made. <br /><br />We recently experienced a pay day! <br /><br />My 4-year-old daughter was scheduled to dance in her end-of-the-year recital. She was all dressed up, excited about the opportunity and completely thrown by the crowd. Once onstage, she spent her class' dance number crying and refusing to even try to do the dance. Afterwards, I wrapped her up in my arms and just held her as she pulled it back together. As we sat there, the dance instructor came up and gave her a big medal on a satin ribbon for "doing a great job." After the teacher left, my daughter looked at me with confusion, handed me the medal and said, "Why would they give me this when I didn't do a good job?"</p>
<p>She may have blown the recital, but I've never been prouder of my kid!</p>
<p>Keep it up, Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>Sue</p>
Staff
2012-11-30T20:24:00Z
Advice for Couples: Save a Little Energy for Later!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Advice-for-Couples:-Save-a-Little-Energy-for-Later!/-802440916326975374.html
2012-11-29T22:42:00Z
2012-11-29T22:42:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>To get “in the mood,” it helps to have a little phrase or signal to give your partner a "heads up," especially if you tend to do it on a schedule (like Saturday night) and you want to break the routine. Our friends have a special candle at home. When it's lit, it means tonight's the night.</p>
<p>At our wedding reception, as I was making the rounds greeting guests after our meal, one older lady pulled me aside and told me to "save a little energy for later." My husband and I got a good laugh at that phrase, and it has become our little signal. When he says that to me, it gives me a heads up to put my mental to-do list away or rethink some priorities and get ready -- no excuses!</p>
<p>Also... it's good to be a morning person -- no interruptions, no thoughts on what else needs to be done, and I can shower afterwards (or during). As your kids get older, carve away some time while they are at sport or music practices.</p>
<p>Be sure to save a little energy for later!</p>
<p>Lori</p>
Staff
2012-11-29T22:42:00Z
A Night That Changed My Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Night-That-Changed-My-Life/483760492753519764.html
2012-11-28T23:23:00Z
2012-11-28T23:23:00Z
<p>At midnight on the evening of January 18, 1997 - I pleaded to God to let my son live -- a moment that changed my life and I will remember forever. My brother was asleep on our couch and my husband and I were sprawled out on our living room carpet watching TV while our newborn lay between us. We freaked when we looked down at our baby and saw he was turning all shades of gray. I immediately attempted to breathe over his mouth and nose -- furiously searching my brain for all the rules on how to give mouth-to-mouth to a newborn that I know they covered in my lifeguard training CPR courses. I looked up to the heavens and pleaded, "God, please do not take my son."</p>
<p>Two months prior to this date, my son Matthew was born and immediately upon delivery, the doctor informed us he had Down syndrome. I was 30 years old, a low risk for this sort of deal and frankly Lamaze class hadn't prepared me for this. Since the birth, we struggled with sympathy from friends and family and ourselves, how much this diagnosis changed us, changed our family and changed our lives by burdening us with the obligation of caring for a mentally retarded son. But at that exact moment when it was a big possibility that I might lose him, I changed my point of reference and view on life. After 10 long days and nights at the intensive care unit at the hospital I was finally able to bring my "new" baby home like it was the first time.</p>
<p>Matthew will be 16-years-old next month. He has one older brother, and two younger siblings. We have all grown mentally and emotionally so much more because of the challenges and adventures afforded by his uniqueness. Our lives individually and as a family have been much more meaningful and fuller. Matthew helps define our special family and I could never imagine our family without him.</p>
<p>Michele</p>
Staff
2012-11-28T23:23:00Z
My Husband is the Most Selfless Person I Know
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husband-is-the-Most-Selfless-Person-I-Know/741145886689573998.html
2012-11-27T23:09:00Z
2012-11-27T23:09:00Z
<p>When my now-husband and I got engaged (but were living 12 hours apart until I finished my last year of college), I was driving a car that was on its last tire!</p>
<p>My incredible man decided, without telling me, to sell the truck he had worked so long and hard to buy, and was so proud of, so he could buy me a dependable car. He drove that car all the way from Salt Lake City, UT to Washington State and drove mine back to Salt Lake. He broke down on the way home, but managed to get it going again and told me none of this for quite some time. Since his transportation was now gone, he bought a motorcycle, because that's what he could afford, and drove it, even in the cold Utah winters.</p>
<p>Tears still fill my eyes when I think of that. And now, 23 wonderful years later, we are still in love like it was the first year. He is still the most selfless person I know and that makes me want to be the best wife ever.</p>
<p>I am my kids' mom and husband's adoring girlfriend.</p>
<p>Karri</p>
Staff
2012-11-27T23:09:00Z
Fork!...Not the OTHER Four Letter F-word!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fork!...Not-the-OTHER-Four-Letter-F-word!/911175696109636391.html
2012-11-26T22:43:00Z
2012-11-26T22:43:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>What has made me laugh the hardest in the last month are the antics of my two-year-old son, particularly his interpretation of the world around him and his love of being the center of attention (like most two-year-olds).</p>
<p>One of the funny moments that sticks out in my mind is when my son and I went out to lunch with my mother-in-law. At the restaurant we were teaching him what to call the silverware. We would hold up the spoon and say, "Spoon!" And he'd repeat it.</p>
<p>Well...this kind of backfired because when it came to learning what the fork was, it came out sounding like an entirely different four letter word that started with an F. He can't quite combine his O's and R's yet, but we'll work on it!</p>
<p>The waitress would walk by and he'd call out "Fork!" but, of course, everyone thought it was the OTHER word. She looked at us funny but after we explained it we were all near tears laughing.</p>
<p>It was interesting trying to explain that to my husband later on that night when my son suddenly screamed it out.</p>
<p>I love this stage in my son's the growth and I'll be sad the day when he's no longer so innocent, but until then (and after of course) we'll keep laughing it up!</p>
<p>Thanks Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>Katherine</p>
Staff
2012-11-26T22:43:00Z
A Father's Lessons to his Sons during 'Sandy'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Fathers-Lessons-to-his-Sons-during-Sandy/-663085112766880803.html
2012-11-16T23:45:00Z
2012-11-16T23:45:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I live in New Jersey and was hit pretty hard during Superstorm Sandy. We still do not have power, but compared to so many of our friends and neighbors we are fine.</p>
<p>I have been married for 27 years to a "real" man and it was so evident during the disaster: My husband did everything in his power to protect his family and our home. Our two sons (16 and 23) worked side-by-side with my husband preparing for the storm and cleaning up after it was over. I want to share two stories with you:</p>
<p>First, I overheard my husband with my 23 year old, giving him a list of supplies he needed to go get for the house. I heard him tell our son that he needed to know how to take care of his home and family. He explained how to properly transport gasoline in the car for the generator, and how to read the manual to repair it. Second, after 3 full days of cleaning, my 16 year old was a little slow in coming out to help. I heard my husband go into his room and tell my son he understood he was tired, however, the job was not finished and there was NO WAY he could stay in bed while his mother was outside working.</p>
<p>These are just two examples of how lucky I am that my sons have such a wonderful role model. My sons learned to "man up" during this disaster, care for their home, family and neighbors, all thanks to the example of their dad.</p>
<p>Miriam</p>
<p>P.S.: The mom in me would have let the 16 year old stay in bed a little longer. Thank God for dads!</p>
Staff
2012-11-16T23:45:00Z
A First Job Gives Invaluable Life Experience
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-First-Job-Gives-Invaluable-Life-Experience/-207704055645020395.html
2012-11-15T23:07:00Z
2012-11-15T23:07:00Z
<p>My first real job was one I got through sheer persistence. I was literally the "squeaky wheel!"</p>
<p>At 15, I was a year too young to get hired at most jobs, but I was desperate to have a job and prove myself. I wanted to be a veterinarian at the time and a new vet was opening up at the shopping center a few miles from my house. I biked down to that shopping center every day as they worked on its construction, hoping to catch the proprietor. As luck would have it, I did! She happened to be a tiny little person and I was a big strong girl. She was reluctant to hire me, but after a few days I convinced her to let me work hauling the dog food around and cleaning cages. After a few months, she was training me to handle the animals and do basic preventive and vet technician work. I worked there for a year, finally leaving after I realized I didn't have the stomach for some of the more emotional aspects of the work.</p>
<p>The pay was not great, but the life experience was invaluable. I learned that hard work and persistence pay off, that you can learn to do almost anything, and that the only doors that are truly closed are the ones you do not open yourself. I also learned a lot about interacting with people when they are troubled, and how to teach people older than myself to handle their pets. At 40-years-old with two kids and two poodles, I am still using those skills daily. No job I have ever held has been useless, and I am looking forward to seeing how my girls launch into their first jobs. My 14-year-old has already started walking to the nearest shopping center to scope out the possibilities!<br /> <br />Thank you, by the way, for encouraging me daily (on-air) to keep my most important job prioritized. I am a full-time wife and mom with an Master’s in Organizational Communication. When you ask my 14-year-old what she wants to be when she grows up, she says, "I want to get really smart and then be a mom like you." It doesn't get much better than that. I love that both my girls think it takes a graduate level education to properly parent! Really though, what it takes is just being there.</p>
<p>Blessings to you,</p>
<p>Celeste</p>
Staff
2012-11-15T23:07:00Z
Why Young Adults Feel Entitled
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Young-Adults-Feel-Entitled/482969284894482516.html
2012-11-14T21:48:00Z
2012-11-14T21:48:00Z
<p>Beyond typical personality quirks, I believe the breakdown of the family is largely responsible for the entitlement problems of Generation Y. Being a responsible chore-bearing part of a family unit AND sharing simple daily activities together - like dinnertime, devotional time, even TV watching -- rather than being off in their own corner with an electronic device prepares kids for proper interaction and expectation for behavior in their adult life.</p>
<p>The family unit is being devastated by divorce, dual careers, dismissiveness, permissiveness, debt, busyness, distraction, and narcissism.</p>
<p>I worked at McDonalds in the late 80s and our behavior with customers was actually monitored and corrected if necessary (yes, at McDonalds!). And the standards were high!</p>
<p>As an example, I worked the drive-thru window a good bit, and wintertime winds were no joke. Nevertheless, I was rarely allowed to shut the window during a transaction with a customer - it was considered rude. Small thing, but if you've ever had a window slammed in your face after forking over your money, you know it makes a difference! With my upbringing, these 'rules' actually made sense to me, so they were easy to live by. Instead of complaining about the cold wind, I took gloves to work. We were raised to believe we were NOT the center of the universe, we were PART of it. We need to give kids a chance and raise them right!</p>
<p>Denise</p>
Staff
2012-11-14T21:48:00Z
The Hurt Doesn't Go Away, But It Does Get Better
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Hurt-Doesnt-Go-Away,-But-It-Does-Get-Better/-60322814881499049.html
2012-11-14T00:44:00Z
2012-11-14T00:44:00Z
<p>I was listening to you when a lady came on who had just lost her husband of a few months. He passed away during the night. She said she was having a hard time with all the paperwork she had to do.</p>
<p>My husband passed away last Dec. 23 of a heart attack, after I had left for work. I want to say I had the privilege of marrying my best friend and we had 23 1/2 beautiful years together. Not a day goes by I do not miss him and everything we had. He had no will, and I was left to figure out what to do on my own. I am so thankful for the great friends my husband had since childhood who have helped me tremendously. I also have a good attorney and financial advisor who is very good. If I do not live like a super star, I will be financially set for the rest of my life and not have to work outside the home again, thanks to a life insurance policy and the income from the land rent for our farm.</p>
<p>I would like your listener to know the hurt NEVER goes away, but it does get better and a little easier to handle. She should also remember to laugh and find a good friend to laugh with. Good friends and my faith are what have helped me the most in the last 11 months since losing my best friend in the world. He was my entire reason for living, as I let him know the sun rose and set at his feet. Making him happy was the greatest joy in my life.</p>
<p>Rosie</p>
Staff
2012-11-14T00:44:00Z
Proper Caring Again
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Proper-Caring-Again/-69265188267599656.html
2012-11-12T23:34:00Z
2012-11-12T23:34:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I purchased your book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" seven years ago. It changed my life -- for a while, that is. As easy as it was to be ashamed of my behavior and change my ways, it was just as easy to fall back into the regular pattern and routine of my regular ways.</p>
<p>Recently, a client and I were talking about books that impacted our lives. Your book was the one we talked about. I wish you could have been there. Our comments were the same: the same guilt and tears. We both called our husbands and apologized, giving them hugs and kisses and things changed....temporarily.</p>
<p>Yesterday, my husband had surgery on his knee. I was looking for something to fill my time and told him on the way there I wanted to stop at the book store and pick up your book again (I had loaned it to a friend and never received it back -- there's another lesson). I was reading in the waiting area while he was doing his paperwork, and was once again filled with guilt and “ahas.” For example, recently, I had my eye liner tattooed. I didn't tell my husband because I didn't think he would notice or care.</p>
<p>He did.</p>
<p>And while I was reading your book I “got it.” Right there in the waiting room, I looked at him and said that I was sorry for not talking to him about it, and for making a permanent decision and not saying anything to him. He looked at me and said, "You got that from that book." I said. "I realized my stupidity, and selfishness from the book." It only took a chapter or two to fall back into cherishing my husband, but all that is not why I am writing to you.</p>
<p>After the surgery, one of my girlfriends asked how my husband was doing. We started talking about "sicky bed" which is something his mom did for her kids when they were ill. My girlfriend asked, "You're not going to do that, are you?" I thought about your words, and I thought about my rock of a man who would do literally anything for me and I replied, "Absolutely!! He would do that and more for me; it's the least I can do for him."</p>
<p>Since I read your book the first time, we added 3 children to our home and we now have 5 kids. My husband wasn’t anywhere on my priority list. I made his breakfast, lunch and dinner - I did my "duties" - but I didn't have time to be intimate. I didn't have time to even be civil. So today is a new day and I look forward to showing my husband I can change and showing my kids that their dad matters and that I love him very much.</p>
<p>So once again, I thank you.</p>
<p>Many blessings,</p>
<p>Audra</p>
Staff
2012-11-12T23:34:00Z
A Man's Greatest Asset or Deficit
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Mans-Greatest-Asset-or-Deficit/945703571624543943.html
2012-11-09T23:16:00Z
2012-11-09T23:16:00Z
<p>When I was 5-years-old, I had a great piece of advice given to me about marriage. I broke my leg learning to snow ski, so my parents carried me (and my cast) up to the Sunday School room about a half hour before church so I could settle in before all the other kids arrived. My pastor came in, sat down to pray for me, and then stared at me for about a minute and a half. He then said: "Darrin, a man's greatest asset or deficit is the woman he marries." He then gave me a hug, and went to greet more families.</p>
<p>At the time (being 5-years-old), I was not interested in girls, TRULY not looking at marriage, and did not know the meaning to the words deficit or asset. On top of that, I was afraid to ask my mom about the second one as it sounded like a bad word.</p>
<p>I dated nine girls from high school to the end of college: some great, some just out of selfish desire, but I never got serious BECAUSE the pastor's words were always ringing in my ears.</p>
<p>My senior year in college, I felt called to be a Children's Ministries Pastor. Looking back, NONE of those women would have been able to put up with the hours, moves, salaries (or lack thereof). But my wife has. She felt called to be a missionary in her teen years.</p>
<p>Choose with wisdom!!!</p>
<p>Darrin</p>
Staff
2012-11-09T23:16:00Z
Middle School Dress: Sending a Message Loud and Clear
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Middle-School-Dress:-Sending-a-Message-Loud-and-Clear/544026558471372528.html
2012-11-08T21:04:00Z
2012-11-08T21:04:00Z
<p>We recently moved due to a job transfer. Now my daughters attend a school with a lax dress code. After the third day of asking one of them (who really wasn’t dressed appropriately) if she was ready for school, only to have her reply, "Yes," I laid down some ground rules.</p>
<p>Rule for our House: Your school attire sends a message. Your dress will say, "Teacher, I am here to learn." It will not say, "Look, boys, I'm cute!" Nor will it say, "Girls, we shop at the same stores. See, I'm one of you!"</p>
<p>This pretty much eliminates anything flashy, distracting, immodest or sloppy. So far, it's gone well!</p>
<p>When one of my daughters pushes the envelope, I simply raise my eyebrows and say, "What does your attire say today?" No nagging, just reminding!</p>
<p>Brooke</p>
Staff
2012-11-08T21:04:00Z
The True Value of "I Love You"
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-True-Value-of-I-Love-You/-832147600773185795.html
2012-11-07T23:09:00Z
2012-11-07T23:09:00Z
<p>The phrase "I love you" is often thrown about thoughtlessly in today's society, but I want to tell you what showed me the depth and the power of the phrase "I love you."</p>
<p>Back when my fiancé and I were dating, I told him I loved him. He said, "Thank you," and that he cared about me more than anyone else, but he couldn't say it back right then. He said, "That phrase should be used for the people who mean the most to you. I say it to my family, and I'll say it to a woman when I am down on one knee asking for her hand." I had a lot of friends whose boy/girlfriends said "I love you" a lot, and it was considered a big deal when someone said it for the first time, but I understood. Both you and my mother drilled into me you don't say it to anyone you don't adore, respect, or admire.</p>
<p>Some of my friends noticed we didn't say the phrase and thought it was weird. One even advised me to convince him to say it -- to bribe him in some way, but ultimately, I was right not to do that. I continued dating the man who shared my dreams for the future, for a family, who took care of me when I was sick, and who continues to show his caring in all ways.</p>
<p>Two months ago, after dating for two years to determine marriageability I finally heard the phrase I'd been waiting to hear: "I love you. Will you marry me?"</p>
<p>Dr. Laura, my heart jumped; I couldn't stop smiling all day. It meant the world to me to finally hear those words from the man I have dreamed of, and it was worth the wait to hear them on that day when he proposed, rather than having heard it a hundred times before. Now neither one of us can get enough of hearing or saying it, and it is the best compliment to know that I am the only woman outside his family he has ever, and will ever, say those words to.</p>
<p>Thank you for sharing with your listeners the importance of love being more than just huggy-kissy-feelings, and how important it is to date to discern marriageability. In 18 months, I get to marry an amazing man, and it is thanks to you and my parents (who had you on in the car from when I was six-years-old and then on podcast!)</p>
<p>Bryn</p>
Staff
2012-11-07T23:09:00Z
With Marriage, You Get In-Laws
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/With-Marriage,-You-Get-In-Laws/867400485790444161.html
2012-11-07T00:20:00Z
2012-11-07T00:20:00Z
<p>We have been blessed with 18 years of marriage so far, 5 children and 1 one on the way.</p>
<p>I have always been closer to my in-laws than my own family. My father died 11 years ago and my father-in-law 10 years ago. After that time, my mother-in-law became my best friend, mentor, extra hand around the house, and babysitter when needed. She bought an RV to travel in, and when she wasn't on the road she called our house "home."</p>
<p>She was present at the birth of the first 4 of our boys and when our 5th was a girl she became her best friend, too and even shared a bedroom with her. My daughter turned 4 in June, just 2 weeks after my mother-in-law died suddenly of a massive heart attack and our family has been slowly adjusting to life without her presence with us every day.</p>
<p>I wish more women could be as blessed as I was to have had such a shining example of a loving, giving, and special mother-in-law who I always called "Mom."</p>
<p>Dionne</p>
Staff
2012-11-07T00:20:00Z
The Benefits of Being a Smart-Mouth Kid
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Benefits-of-Being-a-Smart-Mouth-Kid/-142360361342817867.html
2012-11-05T23:05:00Z
2012-11-05T23:05:00Z
<p>My son has had a quick temper since he was a toddler, and has always wanted to have the last word. At age 4, we put him and his older sister in Tae Kwon Do, which taught me something about parenting. Instead of time-outs, I started demanding push-ups when he'd get mouthy with me, just like the masters did. I didn't care where we were, it was "Give me 10 push-ups right now!" If he continued to backtalk or didn't move fast enough, he'd have to do 20. I got lots of smiles from parents in public places! <br /><br />It was interesting to watch how the physical exertion diffused my son's anger. By the last few push-ups, he would nearly always be laughing at his own exhaustion, and the crisis would be over. <br /><br />I suppose it's a sign that he was a slow learner, but he's 12 now and has the shoulders and upper arms of a body builder. He says it's a good thing he was such a brat, because now he's totally buff, can do 10 chin-ups without breaking a sweat, and the girls think he's awesome. <br /><br />He still has an occasional fit of temper, but has asked me to assign abdominal curls now, instead of push-ups, as he still has a layer of baby fat around his tummy and would like to develop a "six- pack." That's my boy! <br /><br />Myra</p>
Staff
2012-11-05T23:05:00Z
Learning the Hard Way
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-the-Hard-Way/566537076202690147.html
2012-11-02T20:37:00Z
2012-11-02T20:37:00Z
<p>A year ago, I called you to talk about a decision I had to make. You advised that I should not work in my father's company, and I stay away from my parents' marital issues (they were continually bringing us children into it). I did not take your advice and here is a synopsis of how the year went:</p>
<p>I had some fantastic career opportunities in the company, but overall, it was a waste of psychological energy and a waste of my children's days. My children had a tutor and a nanny (who worked alongside me when I worked from home, or took care of them when I traveled), but I was sad not to be their full-time mom. The kids found other moms in the neighborhood who were stay-at-home moms, and who had time to do crafts and cookies in the afternoon. This particularly broke my heart.</p>
<p>My husband started helping around the house, and he now has more respect for my capabilities, but I certainly was less focused on him. He became my teammate, and I no longer placed him first. While it worked "fine" for a year, it is not healthy for a marriage in the long term to have both partners running after full-time careers. It's fine if you don't think much of marriage, but if marriage is to be anything more than a roommate situation, one partner must be primarily focused on the home and the marriage.</p>
<p>And as for my parents: they're still in the same mess they were in a year ago. All advice and hours of listening have gone nowhere.</p>
<p>Yesterday I quit my job, much to the frustration of my father and my employees. I am thrilled about making a success of our marriage and our home. Financially we are taking a serious hit, but that too will be an adventure...</p>
<p>You were right; sorry it took me so long to realize it. I pride myself on paying attention to lessons learned by others instead of learning the hard way, but I didn't do that here.</p>
<p>Marian</p>
Staff
2012-11-02T20:37:00Z
Don't Be Delusional about Your Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dont-Be-Delusional-about-Your-Man/628016123265093395.html
2012-11-01T21:38:00Z
2012-11-01T21:38:00Z
<p><br />Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I want to tell your followers to take your advice very seriously. I wish I knew you when I was dating my now husband.</p>
<p>You often say if there are red flags, don't walk, run the other way. I saw red flags and my mother saw them, too. Instead of accepting them for all they were worth, I was so in love with the idea of being in love, I was DELUSIONAL, thinking that I could make everything better for him.</p>
<p>Fast forward to getting married, having children, dealing with all his issues over the years, getting counseling for him and for us as a couple, trying to make things work because of the family we created, and then to him having an affair.</p>
<p>Today I sit devastated by uncovering this affair. (He claims it was not physical, they were 'just friends.') He told her it wouldn't work because of their age difference, not because he was married with children and didn't want to derail his marriage and family. I stayed by this man for 24 years in spite of his failings, pulled him up when he was at his lowest, recognized the good in him (I KNEW this man would NEVER cheat on me and I could always TRUST him), have often times felt very neglected as a wife, but still, never considered cheating in any manner. He states she gave him the ego boost he needed and liked that she thought he was so much younger.</p>
<p>Yes, our marriage was not perfect, but I was again delusional that we could always work it out together. Instead, he chose the weakest, lowest way to get his fulfillment, by going outside our vows.</p>
<p>I cannot un-ring this bell. I can, however, forewarn others to take your advice and acknowledge the red flags and don't make the immature and wrong choices that I did.</p>
<p>Leslie</p>
Staff
2012-11-01T21:38:00Z
Teenagers Sassing Back
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teenagers-Sassing-Back/-674451803650771413.html
2012-10-31T21:34:00Z
2012-10-31T21:34:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>All teenagers will start asserting "their" values as part of asserting their independence.</p>
<p>The real question for parents is "what values do your teenagers have?"</p>
<p>If you placed them in "child care" from 2 to 5 and then in "public education" from 5 until now, don’t be surprised when their values differ from your own. Your values were clearly taught -- you taught them to look elsewhere for values and they found them.</p>
<p>Why are you surprised when, after neglecting them for all these years, their peers have more influence over them than you do?</p>
<p>Your teenagers are not "sassing" back. They are simply expressing their values -- the values that you never taught them and they learned on their own.</p>
<p>By the way, I did not have rebellious teenagers. Somehow, my stay-at-home wife had time to teach them our core values. I'm not saying my children turned out perfect because of perfect parenting. I am saying that practically perfect children adopt the core values of involved and caring parents.</p>
<p>Gary</p>
Staff
2012-10-31T21:34:00Z
Living Up to Grandma's Example
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Living-Up-to-Grandmas-Example/-746289400617007295.html
2012-10-30T22:30:00Z
2012-10-30T22:30:00Z
<p>When I was turning 6-years-old I was lucky enough to go to Sweden with my mom, my grandmother, my great aunt and uncle, and my favorite aunt. We visited our Swedish relatives, and my birthday happened to fall while we were in Stockholm. During that stay, two things happened that are etched into my memory.</p>
<p>There were slot machines in the hotel and my great aunt gave me a coin to try in the machines. Surprisingly I won! I was so excited...UNTIL my great aunt scooped up the money and put it in her purse. When I asked what she was doing she told me it was her coin so the winnings were hers not mine.</p>
<p>Later that day, we all went to the hotel restaurant to celebrate my birthday. My grandmother had scheduled a special lunch and had ordered a special cake to celebrate. When we arrived we were told our party was finishing up and eating the cake at that moment. It turns out another little girl from Japan was at the hotel with her family and they had told the restaurant people it was her birthday. The restaurant proceeded to give her the special lunch, cake and party my grandmother had arranged and paid for.</p>
<p>Instead of getting angry or upset, my grandmother simply waited for another table to open up and we ordered off the menu. The other family came to apologize as they were leaving. My always gracious grandmother wished the girl a happy birthday and told them she was so glad they were able to celebrate their daughter's birthday too. The girl gave me a small doll which I kept for many years. Whenever I looked at the doll, I remembered how kind and caring my grandmother was.</p>
<p>That was such a concrete example of how to treat people and always strikes me that two women, raised by the same parents, could be so different. I realized it's MY choice how to treat others and to try to live up to my grandmother's example every day.</p>
<p>Justine</p>
Staff
2012-10-30T22:30:00Z
Common Sense Economics
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Common-Sense-Economics/694030243092892538.html
2012-10-29T20:51:00Z
2012-10-29T20:51:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>One of the biggest mistakes newlyweds make today is to purchase a house based on two incomes. I can't understand why my generation (1950's) had so much more economic common sense than young people today. Maybe it's because we grew up with the privation that still existed after the depression. Young people today have many creature comforts they didn't have to work for, while we learned how to avoid economic hardship. The silver platter generations have no clue what it means to be frugal, a word that is not even in their “vocabule,” as my kids used to say.</p>
<p>They buy a house requiring two salaries to pay off and they put the latest model vehicles in their two-car garage. When they think about having children, that’s when they look at the mess they created. And they will have to put their kids in a day orphanage because they need both salaries.</p>
<p>Call me old-fashioned (I am 1.7% Neanderthal), but I think couples should only depend on one salary while they are building a life. Preferably, it should be the man who works when the children come along. He will feel like a man and act like a man when he is truly the bread winner. I do not admire stay-at-home dads who push their children in strollers around the neighborhood. To me, they have been castrated - not real men. I loved children ever since I was a pre-teen. And weekends and evenings are when I took care of my kids as a working father.</p>
<p>My wife, whom I love dearly, raised our kids with both quantity and quality time. We did not miss any meals while living off of my salary. The kids had better clothes than I did as a child. We did not have a mansion or two cars, but we had a very loving family who played together and vacationed together throughout their growing years. For vacations we drove to Ohio, Indiana, Florida, and Texas from Pennsylvania, to visit my wife's sister who relocated several times with her family while her husband was working towards his Ph.D.</p>
<p>I would not trade my life for any other in the world. Economic common sense was our secret of success. We did not try to keep up with the Joneses.</p>
<p>Stanley</p>
Staff
2012-10-29T20:51:00Z
Qualities that Make a Marriage Work
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Qualities-that-Make-a-Marriage-Work/635921440302253636.html
2012-10-26T22:00:00Z
2012-10-26T22:00:00Z
<p>I've been married to the same woman for 31 years. (Crazy, huh?)</p>
<p>I found (and it took a while to figure this out -- I'm a guy what do you expect?) some of the qualities I believe make a marriage work are:</p>
<ul>
<li>Be a good listener</li>
<li>Be humble, let her think she's right even though you know she's wrong, (LOL)</li>
<li>Be sure to have date nights</li>
<li>Always praise her</li>
<li>Always love her physically as well as mentally</li>
<li>Always have her back</li>
<li>Be understanding (She's not perfect and neither are you)</li>
<li>Be forgiving</li>
</ul>
<p>I can go on and on, but guys, you should feel blessed and lucky -- who else would have us?</p>
<p>Signed,</p>
<p>An extremely happy husband</p>
Staff
2012-10-26T22:00:00Z
My Life's Journey
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Lifes-Journey/-548191541398659335.html
2012-10-25T19:49:00Z
2012-10-25T19:49:00Z
<p>Dear Mother Laura,</p>
<p>My "other" mother used to say if life were fair, we would be born old and die young. She has lived a hard life and I can see where she would feel that way. I'm glad that it didn't work out that way for her because her wisdom, grown from her hardships, helped to make the tough times in my life more bearable.</p>
<p>I have enjoyed each of the decade milestones in my life, as I have aged. <br />At 20, I thought I could do everything and would run over anyone to prove that I could. I didn't stop to listen; only barreled on through to show that I already knew how.</p>
<p>At 30, I slowed it down a bit when I realized I didn't know as much as I thought I did and I became interested in the practice of listening.</p>
<p>At 40+, I have picked up the pace again and still feel I can do anything, but have realized I do not have to make all of my own mistakes and can learn from others. I have an appreciation for listening, especially to those who are older and wiser, as they have so much to share.</p>
<p>If I could find a way to make a living doing it, I would write biographies of friends and loved ones. I find their years to be filled with characters and storylines that I only could have imagined living.</p>
<p>If we were to die young, we would likely die without being able to appreciate where we have been. I love the journey - Mine, as well as others'. I'll die young at heart, one day.</p>
<p>Kim</p>
Staff
2012-10-25T19:49:00Z
What Selfishness Can Do to a Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Selfishness-Can-Do-to-a-Marriage/948648665346888270.html
2012-10-24T21:18:00Z
2012-10-24T21:18:00Z
<p>The thing I love about marriage is there seems to be someone for everyone. We're all different, and finding that person who gets us (or tolerates us) is a feat in itself.</p>
<p>Once we're married, the qualities that make each marriage great are as different as we are. However, there is one trait which can eat away at even the best marriages and ultimately destroy them. That is selfishness. Once you stop loving and serving other members of your family only to serve yourself and your own wants, things get ugly. You are no longer a part of a whole. You think you ARE the whole and you go searching for anything to keep you feeling that way. That leaves a spouse and possibly children wondering what they can do to make you love them and eventually everyone stops trying. The selfish person leaves, the ones left behind are broken forever - all because that one negative quality entered the picture. No matter what good qualities were in the marriage, selfishness pushed them out.</p>
<p>The best quality in a marriage...selflessness.</p>
<p>April</p>
Staff
2012-10-24T21:18:00Z
Cold Feet Before the Wedding
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cold-Feet-Before-the-Wedding/743244057398414028.html
2012-10-23T21:11:00Z
2012-10-23T21:11:00Z
<p>I don't know if everyone experiences cold feet for at least a moment before their wedding, but I think it was healthy for me to have a brush with it. My fiancé and I had been dating over a year and a half, and we were wildly in love. Our parish priest, impressed with our maturity, voiced his prediction that we would be long-time happily wed. Still, in the midst of wedding planning, only a few months before the big day, I remember wondering if I would always love my fiancé to the extent that I loved him that day. I worried that the love might fade and I would feel stuck with someone for whom I had only lukewarm feelings.</p>
<p> I chose to push the feelings aside, but they still crept around my brain until we attended a marriage preparation course mandated by our church. During the course, one speaker addressed this fear head on. She said, "Love is not a thing that is “there” or “not there.” It is an action that you choose to do or not to do. Every day, when you wake up, you choose to love or not to love."</p>
<p>These words were a balm to my fears! I was now in charge of love in my life, and all I had to do was choose to love! A love can't fade when you renew it each day! And I did! Thankfully, I also chose wisely. It's now twenty-five years since I walked down the aisle toward my groom without a hint of trepidation, and we are more deeply "in love" (or better put, "loving each other") than ever.</p>
<p>For those hearing this who suspect it's been easy, the answer is NOPE! We've had significant trials in our family, but choosing to turn to each other with love each day has been the key to surviving those burdens with a deep-seated sense of joy intact, even at the end of a long, hard day.</p>
<p>Thanks, Dr. Laura, for the many "ways to love" we've added to our repertoire by just listening to you over the years.</p>
<p>Nannette</p>
Staff
2012-10-23T21:11:00Z
Making the Role-Reversals Work
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-the-Role-Reversals-Work/724802310437791239.html
2012-10-22T20:08:00Z
2012-10-22T20:08:00Z
<p>I've been meaning to write to you in celebration of my incredible husband. Truthfully, I needed a moment to brag on him and thought you'd appreciate it better than most. We've been married for 7 years and have 2 wonderful young children. We had juggled our schedules so that while we both worked, one of us was always home with the children. Then I was offered a big promotion that also required a move. I wasn't sure what to do.</p>
<p>My incredible husband told me he'd been wanting to go back to school online and get his degree. My salary increase would be able to carry us and he'd also be home with the kids full-time. I accepted the position and love the new job. But, truthfully, I still wasn't quite certain how to handle all of it with the role-reversal.</p>
<p>Then some things really started to change. He showed me true love and swims through shark-infested waters for me. When I get home from work, I get to spend time with the kids. After dinner and bedtime, he draws me a bath and sets me up with a glass of wine and a good book. He's also homeschooling the children each day. While my mother-in-law thinks they should be in preschool, I keep singing his praises. They're learning so much with Daddy.</p>
<p>I'm truly blessed to have such an amazing husband! He's supportive and encouraging. He's a wonderful father and he makes me feel so special at the end of every day.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Jenni</p>
Staff
2012-10-22T20:08:00Z
'Meetings with Santa'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Meetings-with-Santa/2430073539448256.html
2012-10-19T21:07:00Z
2012-10-19T21:07:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>A recent call where you told a listener to get up fifteen minutes earlier so she and her husband could make time to "be together" made me smile, as I thought of how my husband and I created extra time.</p>
<p>After reading your book, <em>"The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands"</em>, I was able to turn my marriage in to what I had always dreamed a marriage would be and included in that was a far more active sex life. However, we had young children and my husband's work schedule was crazy, so finding time between chasing toddlers, making meals, trying to maintain the house, and sleeping was difficult.</p>
<p>One December, we found ourselves together during the day and "in the mood." I am not sure who came up with the idea, but… we set the kids up in the living room with a short Christmas movie and told them Mom and Dad needed to have a "Meeting with Santa" and report on how good they had been. We fleshed the story out a bit, telling them Santa would be using his magic snow globe and watching them during our meeting, so they better be good so Santa could see. The kids were very serious about the whole thing. They sat there and promised they'd be good. My husband and I chuckled as we slinked off back to our room for our "meeting." When our meeting concluded and we came out with the North Pole report, the kids were so excited we had talked to Santa, and asked if he saw how good they had been!</p>
<p>Since then, if during the day, or when the kids are not asleep and we are in the mood again, it’s time for a meeting with Santa. It could be 364 days before Christmas or one day before...they never know when Santa needs his random reports. But each time he does, the kids behave like little angels, anxiously awaiting the report from the North Pole.</p>
<p>I am not sure how many more years Santa will need his random reports...or how long until our kids start to become more curious about our meetings, but for now, it works. My husband and I laugh at the time when our kids will figure out what our meetings consisted of. I just hope they will be able to enjoy the "magic" of that holiday season year round with their spouses too! (...many, many, years in the future!)</p>
<p>Thank you for all that you do. You are the mother I never had. Thanks for your daily advice and reminders and words of encouragement to continue to be my husband's girlfriend and my kids' mom. There is no better job in the world!</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Carly</p>
Staff
2012-10-19T21:07:00Z
Grateful to Be There When Needed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Grateful-to-Be-There-When-Needed/99964726477441680.html
2012-10-18T21:02:00Z
2012-10-18T21:02:00Z
<p>Because I work part-time from home, I was able to save my children from a ridiculously long bus ride to school every day.</p>
<p>We only live a mile from our elementary school but their bus ride was an hour long, taking them on a tour of the town before arriving at school after the late bell had rung. My kids were stressed out before they even began their school day.</p>
<p>Because I’m home, I was able to spend time making calls, dealing with the school district, the transportation department, and emailing the superintendent. I drove them to school myself until I received a call letting me know the bus route had been changed. My kids now happily ride to school for ten minutes with their friends.</p>
<p>Had I been working full-time, I would never have the chance to help them out this way. Big kids still need their moms and I am so grateful I get to be here when they need me. I'm only a phone call away as I work at my computer.</p>
<p>Thank you for encouraging women to have it all, but to do so in the right order, at the right time and not at the expense of their children.</p>
<p>Keep fighting the good fight...</p>
<p>May<br /><a href="http://www.BabyCenter.com" target="_blank">BabyCenter.com</a> conservative blogger<br />Author of <em>Doing Time: What it really means to grow up in day care</em></p>
Staff
2012-10-18T21:02:00Z
Marriage Takes Care and Feeding
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Marriage-Takes-Care-and-Feeding/63515657272325766.html
2012-10-17T19:40:00Z
2012-10-17T19:40:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>As my "marriage mentor," I just had to share with you a tender exchange I had with my husband this morning.</p>
<p>His job has been really stressful lately - layoffs left him understaffed and now he works in his office, all day, by himself, which means some days he doesn't speak to anyone for the entire eight hours of his work day. I'm currently out of work, so I am extra appreciative of the sacrifices he is making to support the two of us. I've been making a special effort to be a loving and supportive wife while he's going through this hard time. I put notes in his lunch, send him encouraging text messages throughout the day, prepare his favorite meals when he gets home... All the things I've learned from you, Dr. Laura.</p>
<p>We have only one car, so once or twice a week I drop him off at work so I can run my errands (I don't like to do this in the evening because that cuts into our time together).</p>
<p>I was surprised this morning when he asked if I would drive him to work again even though I had the car all day yesterday. While we drove, I asked if there was anything he wanted me to do, thinking there must be a reason he wanted me to have the car, but he said, "No, I just wanted to be with you. I like it when you take me to work." A few minutes later he was holding my hand and we were just listening to the radio when he said, "I know we still haven't been married long, but I just don't see how people can complain about marriage. I love being married to you."</p>
<p>It really is true that when I make an effort to be his girlfriend, he makes me feel as weak in the knees as he did when we were dating.</p>
<p>Thank you for all of your advice. Your books are so perfectly named; marriage really does take care and feeding. I'm glad I figured that out in my first year and a half and not ten years from now when it might be too late.</p>
<p>Bekky</p>
Staff
2012-10-17T19:40:00Z
Ready to Be Showered with Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ready-to-Be-Showered-with-Love/-644605569585332414.html
2012-10-16T21:35:00Z
2012-10-16T21:35:00Z
<p>My husband and I had been trying for a child for over two years. I had an ectopic pregnancy that almost killed me, a miscarriage nine months later, and a rash of tragedies and losses that sent my husband and me reeling towards each other.</p>
<p>Then, I got pregnant and it "stuck."</p>
<p>After 40 hours of active labor and a Caesarian section that took two hours, I got to hold my daughter for the first time right around midnight.</p>
<p>She was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, but that is so cliché.</p>
<p>My heart filled with wonder at this tiny little person who had grown inside me and was now reliant on me for everything. She was a miracle, a new chapter in our lives, a breathing being ready to be showered with love. My eyes brimmed with tears, but for the first time in a long time, they were tears of absolute joy and fulfillment that I did not know were possible.</p>
<p>I wasn't scared, or nervous. I wasn't tired, although I was exhausted. I was in awe. I was thankful. I was ready for everything that lay ahead.</p>
<p>Charlene</p>
Staff
2012-10-16T21:35:00Z
Grandpas Make an Imprint
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Grandpas-Make-an-Imprint/782316430831053556.html
2012-10-15T21:31:00Z
2012-10-15T21:31:00Z
<p>My grandson and I have a little ritual with Grandpa (my very special husband).</p>
<p>Grandpa only gets 30 minutes for lunch, so after my grandson has lunch with Mommy (my daughter), he and I take a ride to where Grandpa works and he shares a little of Grandpa’s lunch.</p>
<p>Recently, I had my grandson with me and we went to the store where Grandpa works to purchase something. My grandson thought we were there to be with Grandpa. When he realized we were leaving and not going to be enjoying our time with Grandpa, the whole store heard him wailing his disappointment. The only one with a big cheesy grin on his face was Grandpa!</p>
<p>By the way, my grandson is only 15 months old, and I’m happy to see that he is smart enough to know his Grandpa is pretty special.</p>
<p>Keep up the good work.</p>
<p>Isabel</p>
Staff
2012-10-15T21:31:00Z
Que Sera Sera!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Que-Sera-Sera!/-538050877133335126.html
2012-10-12T22:04:00Z
2012-10-12T22:04:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am your "Que Sera Sera" caller, and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for changing my life and those of my husband, 3 1/2 year old son, and 21 month old daughter.</p>
<p>I've finally acknowledged that when I was growing up, my family's dialogue was about fears, and I learned to think 1) if I was perfect, my parents would be happy and 2) I couldn't be happy unless I was perfect. I learned to think in terms of fears, so your insistence that I can change my thinking and that I can't fail is liberating in a way I can't describe.</p>
<p>My kids now sing "Que Sera Sera" with me, and since I called, we've had monumental moments like the following: playing in the play area at a local restaurant without any germ worrying on my part; washing dishes (without any freaking out from me about the water everywhere); and even making meatloaf together (which would have made me short circuit a few weeks ago). I still am plagued by fearful thoughts, but I resist them, and I sing, "Que Sera Sera." Now I'm actually getting to be present to the blessing of being home with my kids.</p>
<p>Lastly, I read your blog "Love at First Sight", and it's so true. A while ago I lost my wedding ring, and I was heartbroken about it. I thought I was more bothered by it than my husband was, but I was wrong. He was bothered, but not for same reasons as me. We can't get a new ring right now, but recently he had our son hand me a little box that contained a simple band. Without referencing the fact I lost my diamond ring, he said not only was he giving me this band until he can get me something better, but also he didn't like looking at my left hand and seeing it bare. He wanted something there that represented him. So, I think I got a pretty good ring after all, and I definitely got a good man, who does stake his claim and who wants me to have and share joy with him.</p>
<p>I've decided I'm not going to ruin my marriage or my kids (or any longer myself) with my fears, and you're helping me do that.</p>
<p>Thank you so much for everything.</p>
<p>Erin</p>
Staff
2012-10-12T22:04:00Z
My Husband Told Me the Facts
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husband-Told-Me-the-Facts/-297243193385045838.html
2012-10-11T21:49:00Z
2012-10-11T21:49:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura, </p>
<p>I want to write my story just for others like me (and like the overweight anchorwoman from Wisconsin).</p>
<p>Last winter, I weighed A LOT! My husband suggested I joined a weight loss program. I did, but boy was I angry he thought I was FAT. I thought this particular program I joined was for old people who had hit bottom and really had nowhere else to go. Well, as time went on, I realized that was me. My body was so tired that I felt 100-years-old and I had hit bottom. I couldn't run from my car to my door without being winded.</p>
<p>Earlier this year, when my youngest child turned one, I started running. I would run one minute and walk one and a half minutes. It was hard work. I bought a dog for a running companion (he was smaller than the snow banks, but I took him anyway). Now, months later, I run 8 km and have lost 37 pounds.</p>
<p>I have my husband to thank for being honest with me and telling me the facts! He really did save my life. I am now able to play soccer with my children and run with them.</p>
<p>Let me encourage the people who aren't sure where to start... the hardest part of exercise is putting your shoes on - the rest just follows!</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for being honest in a world where we don't like to offend with the truth...The truth needs to be heard.</p>
<p>Samantha</p>
Staff
2012-10-11T21:49:00Z
Day Care is Two Bad Words
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Day-Care-is-Two-Bad-Words/563734004644491039.html
2012-10-10T21:47:00Z
2012-10-10T21:47:00Z
<p>I am a feminist's nightmare! I am college-educated and (gasp) threw it all away to first, be a flight attendant and then a stay-at-home mom!!!</p>
<p>Fifteen years ago, I quit my job as a flight attendant for a major US Airline (flying international routes worldwide). My hubby and I were blessed with our son and I did NOT want anyone else raising him! I consider "day care" to be two bad words! So I submitted my resignation to the airline and never looked back. Aside from a handful of our relatives, comments I received were "Oh my, how could you quit your job?" or "How could you give up that fun glamorous flight attendant job?" or better yet, "You gave up the free flights?" I am blessed to the moon and back to be the number one teacher in our kids' lives.</p>
<p>My hubby has always supported 300% our decision for me to stay home and raise the kids. He is so dedicated to our family, and the harmonious balance in our marriage is proof that having one person at home running the household smoothly and watching the kiddos evens out the stress and tribulations of a career. We just celebrated our 15th anniversary with a week-long trip back to where we were married (Banff Springs Hotel in the Canadian Rockies). It was a beautiful second honeymoon and the kids were with my aunt and uncle who graciously offered to watch them.</p>
<p>I have been a listener for about 13 years and thank you for your tireless efforts to convince parents out there to "do the right thing."</p>
<p>Joyce</p>
Staff
2012-10-10T21:47:00Z
How I Handled my Son's Friends Pressuring Him to Do Dope
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Handled-my-Sons-Friends-Pressuring-Him-to-Do-Dope/300649925281290764.html
2012-10-09T20:49:00Z
2012-10-09T20:49:00Z
<p>My son's friends called him over to spend the night as they had new video games. When he got there, no one was playing video games. They were high on drugs and tried to pressure him to try some with them. When he came home gray-colored that night, I asked him why he hadn't stayed over. He explained he didn't want to and went to bed. </p>
<p>The next week, out of the blue he mentioned his "friends" had tried to get him to do drugs that night. I spent the next 2 weeks talking a few minutes each day about drugs, about how he was headed down a different road from those friends, how he was successful and they weren't, and about the new laws concerning guilt by association. He let me know their house was robbed just after I said druggies rob each other.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, I called the police. I wish more parents would. But a police officer shared the driveway with that house, and was more interested in selling his home than shutting down the drug house.</p>
<p>Finally, I realized the house was within 500 feet of a grade school. I called the school principal, who proudly told me she spoke with the police chief. I had the county nurse call and complain about the drug house. I informed the neighbors across the street from the house. The police are now finally working on shutting it down and asked me to give them time. If every parent in town would do what I did, the drug business would be out of business.</p>
<p>I am so proud of my son for talking to me, as I am a divorced mom and it’s tough raising my son without his dad's participation.</p>
<p>Jeanette</p>
Staff
2012-10-09T20:49:00Z
Holding the First of Three
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Holding-the-First-of-Three/-942747361470939661.html
2012-10-08T20:56:00Z
2012-10-08T20:56:00Z
<p>My first "baby" was actually three -- triplet girls, each weighing under 3 pounds at birth. I was under general anesthesia when I had my C-section, so the first time I saw them was in Polaroid pictures.</p>
<p>A few days after their birth, one of them, Katie, was responding better than the others. She was already off the ventilator, and doing very well. I was visiting all three of them in the NICU when their primary nurse, JoAnn, (God bless her), saw the pain of my still-empty arms after years of infertility, two miscarriages, and a very difficult pregnancy.</p>
<p>She sat me down in a rocking chair, whispered "I'm not doing this" and put Katie in my arms. At first I couldn't see Katie through my tears, but eventually I saw her perfect, tiny, beautiful face. I got to hold her two sisters weeks later.</p>
<p>And yesterday, our three amazing girls turned 18. I am forever grateful to JoAnn.</p>
<p>Bonnie</p>
Staff
2012-10-08T20:56:00Z
My Hardworking Hubby - Part Deux
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Hardworking-Hubby---Part-Deux/-780610544327912058.html
2012-10-05T22:09:00Z
2012-10-05T22:09:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Yesterday I sent you an email about my husband, who had just come off a 25 hour shift and stopped to buy and bring me flowers.</p>
<p>Well, last night a couple <em>more</em> things happened, one of which, for me, was a huge symbol of his commitment to our marriage.</p>
<p>When I got home from work, he was asleep. I told you about the state of his hands - how they are a mess from everything he gets into throughout the day at the automotive shop where he works -- but last night, I looked at his left hand and saw his wedding ring.</p>
<p>Seeing that (alongside all the battle scars and marks of his hard work) was incredibly moving for me. Shack-up honeys have no idea what they are missing out on! That ONE image made me feel loved, secure, appreciated, protected, and at one with my husband.</p>
<p>So, knowing that before he’d gone to bed he'd taken a shower and climbed in naked, I then stripped down and climbed in naked <em>with</em> him. I didn't mean to wake him up, but he sure did wake up in a good mood!</p>
<p>Thank you for all you do, Dr. Laura. You've been such a blessing to my marriage, I cannot even express...</p>
<p>Julie</p>
Staff
2012-10-05T22:09:00Z
My Hardworking Hubby
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Hardworking-Hubby/-475370833557952116.html
2012-10-04T21:18:00Z
2012-10-04T21:18:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My husband is a very hard worker. He builds specialty cars (like show cars and cars you see in movies). So when he's against a deadline, it can be extremely stressful, and during show car season, the hours can be very long. For example, a few weeks ago he worked 96 hours in one week. He is the foreman of the shop where he works, so the stress is even more intense. </p>
<p>On most days, he feels he is carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. You would think that during these days of the "on" cycles, he would have no time or desire to think of anything or anyone but himself, and who could blame him. He needs to rest and relax!</p>
<p>My husband, however, is not like most people. This morning, after getting off a 25 hour shift, he did not drive home to rest.</p>
<p>No, not my husband.</p>
<p>He stopped at a flower shop, picked out a beautiful bouquet of yellow roses, and personally delivered them to me at my work.</p>
<p>His hands and arms are always covered with cuts, paint and other stains and adhesives; his face goes unshaven for days; his clothes are a mess from fiberglass, dust and other matter that he works with on a daily basis. His eyes are red from lack of sleep. Yet, he could not look more appealing to me if he tried.</p>
<p>Julie</p>
Staff
2012-10-04T21:18:00Z
No More Nagging About Homework
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-More-Nagging-About-Homework/968349382951751991.html
2012-10-03T22:23:00Z
2012-10-03T22:23:00Z
<p>My son and I would struggle every evening with homework, because my son could not sit and focus once he got home from school.</p>
<p>My solution to this problem was to meet him at his school's library every day after school. We did all of his homework there, and if he didn’t write down that day's assignment, we would walk to the classroom and read the lesson that was written on the chalkboard. We did this for three years, and when he went to high school he found time during his day at school to complete most of his homework.</p>
<p>I discovered that in going to the library, he was still in “school mode” and he never complained. Plus, if we needed help with the homework, there were a lot of smart teachers to assist us. My life with my son was much more enjoyable because, once we got home, there was no more nagging, pleading or me crying.</p>
<p>Please share this with your frustrated moms. It was a lifesaver for me.</p>
<p>Misty</p>
Staff
2012-10-03T22:23:00Z
The First Time I Held My Baby
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-First-Time-I-Held-My-Baby/268480589881078734.html
2012-10-02T22:07:00Z
2012-10-02T22:07:00Z
<p>I delivered my first daughter naturally, and the transition and pushing stages felt like they lasted for 2 days. By the time my baby was placed in my arms, I could barely lift my arms, they were so weak. Though I didn't say it aloud, my only thought was, 'Someone please take her from me. She's so heavy and I just need to rest these weary arms.'</p>
<p>My mother stayed with me after I came home from the hospital. She loves the newborn stage best, so between my husband and her, I had no need to hold my baby for a few days except when attempting to breastfeed with those huge, postpartum breasts.</p>
<p>The day came when my mom had to go home. My husband had left for work, so I shut the door behind Mom, turned around, looked at my baby, and sobbed. I thought it was just because I was going to miss my mom and all of her help. But they were probably mostly tears of fear. You would think that I had been apprenticing in a well staffed zoo, and now the head zookeeper and staff had left, and I was staring into the maw of a ferocious tiger I needed to feed.</p>
<p>Thankfully, motherly instinct pushed me to pick up that "tiger." But I held her away from me so I could look straight in her face and I said, "It's just you and me, Kid." And I sobbed. But I sobbed and pulled her close and hugged and rocked and kissed that little face probably a thousand times . . . and over the next few days, I fell in love. This was not an instance of "instant mother bond" or "love at first sight," but of doing the loving thing simply because you know it's right, and thereby creating love.</p>
<p>The welcoming of my first baby happened over 22 years ago. That baby is now a happy college senior who was homeschooled through 12th grade by this mommy who at first didn't know what in the world to make of her.</p>
<p>As a long-time, "entrenched" stay-at-home mom, it was fun to think back to a day when I was a scared newbie.</p>
<p>Love to you from one of your biggest fans,,</p>
<p>Nannette</p>
Staff
2012-10-02T22:07:00Z
Focusing on the Positive
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Focusing-on-the-Positive/193574305902265465.html
2012-10-01T22:11:00Z
2012-10-01T22:11:00Z
<p>I called you recently because my family complained that I preferred my in-laws over them, and that my young son had a better relationship with his paternal grandparents. You essentially chastised me for choosing to spend energy on this issue with my mother when I had so many other things I could be doing for my own family.</p>
<p>My mom called that night for the first time in 2 months. I told her my son was still awake and asked if she wanted to talk or video chat with him, as my husband was willing to set up the computer to do so. She immediately made up some excuse about how she was busy now but would call soon.</p>
<p>After my son was in bed my husband asked "Well, aren't we going to talk about your mom?" I put my arms around him and said "Honey, I'm sorry I've let the fact that my family isn't so great steal time from our family. I am choosing to not let it bother me." He very kindly replied that while we didn’t bring it up often, he understood that it helped me to talk.</p>
<p><em>(This is where I think you'll see that I really got what you said)</em><br /> I responded by telling him that while I appreciated his support, they were never going to change, but I could. Even if we only talked about it every couple years, it would be too much time to take away from the great things I have in my life to spend my energy on. I asked him to remind me of this if I ever forget. I gave him a big kiss and we had a great evening.</p>
<p>My husband and son definitely deserve a wife and mother who spends ALL her time on positive, productive things I can actually do something about. Thanks for all you do Dr. Laura.</p>
<p>Megan</p>
Staff
2012-10-01T22:11:00Z
My Grandson, the Ranger
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Grandson,-the-Ranger/681155477841318235.html
2012-09-28T19:32:00Z
2012-09-28T19:32:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My son deserted his family 22 years ago leaving his wife with a newborn and 3-year-old. My husband and I helped our daughter-in-law raise the boys. The oldest grandson left for the Army and is currently in the Ranger program. I wanted to share his letter to us with you. You are the reason I made it through that horrible time in the beginning.<br />Dolly</p>
<p><br />Nana Dolly and Pop-pop Ray,</p>
<blockquote>
<p>"<strong>American soldiers in battle don’t fight for what some president says on TV, they don't fight for mom, apple pie, the American flag --- they fight for one another.</strong>" - Lt. Colonel Harold G. "Hal" Moore, Jr.</p>
</blockquote>
Though I’ll be on the front lines, don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. This is my story and it’s only the beginning. I chose to be part of the .75% of this nation who took the oath to defend and support our Constitution.
<p>You both, throughout my upbringing, have instilled within me a sense of honor and pride. Now, I’ll fight for my honor, fight for my life, and though I’ll win, still I lose until I make it home to you.</p>
<p>I’ll never forget where I came from: my loved ones, my mentors, and those who have helped me become the man I am. A man’s word is all he has. If he cannot live up to and back up his word, he fails as a man. Well, you have my word that I will never forget you both. I will not forget who you both have made me. I will not fail you and I will come home to you.</p>
<p>I can never thank you for all you have done for my brother and me. Words cannot convey my gratitude, and only recently have I matured to the point I can see what you have done. I love you both, more than I can ever display or explain.</p>
<p>Pop-pop, I can only hope to be half the man you are, and each day I live and strive to be someone you can be proud of.</p>
<p>Nana, what can I say? You’re the best and I love you and appreciate EVERYTHING you have done for my brother, my Mom and me. You’re one of a kind.</p>
<p>Both of you, you’ve always been more than just my grandparents. So much more. I love you both. Please don’t pray for my safety. Pray that God has mercy on those who challenge our freedom, those who endanger our way of life, who don’t want me to come home to you. Because I can assure you, I won’t.</p>
<p>I love you both and will never forget what you have done for and taught me.</p>
<p>Tom</p>
Staff
2012-09-28T19:32:00Z
A Committed Stay-at-Home Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Committed-Stay-at-Home-Family/-618846950670042113.html
2012-09-27T21:23:00Z
2012-09-27T21:23:00Z
<p>Four years ago, my husband was laid-off from a company that he had worked for for 21 years. He was among tens of thousands of employees who had their lives involuntarily redirected as a result of "company B" buying "company A".</p>
<p>We have 4 children who were ages 3-11 at that time. Our oldest 3 children were enrolled in private school and since it was already paid for, they were able to complete their school year. My husband was in the midst of changing his career when the lay-off took place.</p>
<p>We endured the emotional rollercoaster that accompanies these difficult seasons in life. We were inundated with "advice" and well-meant comments. We chose to keep our family intact and as stable and normal as possible. I stayed home and cared for our children. Yes, we needed the money and benefits but those things paled in comparison to the security and needs of our children. For them, Dad was home more, and our daily life remained for the most part, intact.</p>
<p>We have survived these last four years by unemployment benefits, anonymous financial donors, our church food pantry, a generous doctor and dentist, scholarships, cutting back, doing without, and lots of creativity.</p>
<p>There are times when we wish things had not changed, that we did not have debt, uncertainty and stress. But we would have never had the chance to have our faith grow, feel the love of our community, and deepen our commitment to family.</p>
<p>I can't imagine not allowing my husband to navigate us through the rough seas. He is our hero. I can't imagine abandoning my kids for a paycheck. I can't imagine where our family would be today if we hadn't made "us" the most important thing to preserve.</p>
<p>Today, we are a family that works and educates in the home. We support my husband and the growth of his business. We support his work towards a master's degree so he can continue to pursue his dream job. We pour ourselves into our children and their education. We do without, we save for family fun, we ride our bikes, look forward to hand-me-downs, care for our neighbors, volunteer in our community, borrow movies from the library. Our children happily help with chores and tasks. Each one of our children has found ways to earn their own money by helping neighbors with dog-sitting, dog walking, mowing and yard care.</p>
<p>We look forward to the day when we will get to take care of others as we have been cared for.</p>
<p>Thank you for your support and encouragement.</p>
<p>Candace</p>
Staff
2012-09-27T21:23:00Z
Tell Those You Love How You Feel
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Tell-Those-You-Love-How-You-Feel/442271624985999138.html
2012-09-26T21:03:00Z
2012-09-26T21:03:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura</p>
<p>It has been almost three years since I lost my wife to the flu. Since that time, I have been lucky enough to be a stay-at-home Dad for my teenage son. Today my wife would have been 56 years old. It has been a tough road for both of us, but with the support of her family and our friends, we have managed to pull ourselves through.</p>
<p>I am happy I never missed a chance to tell her how much I loved her. It truly means more when they are alive and with you then to hold back until it is too late. Please remind your listeners: NOW is the time to tell the people they love how much they mean to you, because after they are gone it is too late.</p>
<p>Thanks for being there as I am a regular listener to your show.</p>
<p>James</p>
Staff
2012-09-26T21:03:00Z
Dads Make a Difference
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dads-Make-a-Difference/-802383883316913142.html
2012-09-25T22:11:00Z
2012-09-25T22:11:00Z
<p>Dr Laura:</p>
<p>Recently, my husband and I, and our 13 year old daughter, dropped my son off at college. While my daughter and I decorated his dorm, my husband and son worked on his computer. Finally, it was time to say our goodbyes and let him start his new chapter of his life.</p>
<p>It was very difficult to do this; and my heart ached for the little boy who once played Legos, Little League and liked to be home. I was married previously and then divorced when my son was two-years-old. When my son’s biological dad disappeared, I married my new husband who took on the role as a father and even adopted my boy. To this day, both my son and husband agree it was one of their most favorite days. My husband raised him to be a man. He showed him what character was. He was tough on important things and always made him accountable for his actions. As a mom, I didn't always understand the ways he went about doing things. My husband would tell me "Short term pain for long term gain."</p>
<p>After dropping my son off, we started on our way home. Within ten minutes all of our phones went off. I looked at my text and it read: "I'm OK, Mom. Please don't worry about me. Most of all "I love you." My daughter read hers: "I love you, Baby Sis. I'm always here for you." Then as he drove, my husband handed his phone to my daughter. She read: "Dad, thanks for loving me when you didn't have to. Thanks for teaching me to be a man, when sometimes I didn't want to be. I made it!!!" Tears rolled down all of our cheeks. The years of effort and teaching the right things, even when it was hard, really made a difference. Thank you to my husband for making a MAN out of our BOY!!! A father's influence really matters!!!!</p>
<p>Michelle</p>
Staff
2012-09-25T22:11:00Z
Score Another One For Stay-at-Home Moms
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Score-Another-One-For-Stay-at-Home-Moms/567832302472228502.html
2012-09-24T21:50:00Z
2012-09-24T21:50:00Z
<p>My husband and I were asked to a Navy Admiral's home for a gathering and we were all asked to bring a dessert. I make a wicked home-made New York Cheesecake that takes about 4 hours to prepare.</p>
<p>While standing in the kitchen chatting, the wife of one of my husband's colleagues, who was a career Navy nurse, asked me what I did for a living. I told her I stayed home to take care of my husband and our two children. She looked at me and said in a very loud and condescending voice: "Oh, so you're a stay-at-home mom?" I replied back in a sickeningly sweet condescending tone as possible: "Yes I am, and I am guessing by your tone that you're a go-to-work mom?" She was shocked, but came right back at me by saying? "Yes, I am a working mother, and I just don't know how I could ever stay home all day. I mean, aren't you bored? What is it that you DO all day anyway?"</p>
<p>I looked over at the dessert table, where her husband was standing with 2 pieces of my cheesecake on a plate, shoveling it into his mouth at a furious pace. I very loudly said back, pointing to her husband, "Well, for one, I made that cheesecake that your husband over there is eating TWO pieces of." She looked over at him eating, looked back at me, and immediately walked away without a word.</p>
<p>I subsequently saw her at several functions over the years. She never came near me again. Score another one for Stay-At-Home Moms everywhere!</p>
<p>Kelly</p>
Staff
2012-09-24T21:50:00Z
A Couple of Smart Decisions
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Couple-of-Smart-Decisions/133917283212816397.html
2012-09-22T00:00:00Z
2012-09-22T00:00:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I'm sure <strong>one</strong> of the smartest decisions I ever made was finding you on the radio back in 1990, but <em><strong>the</strong></em> smartest decision was to save my marriage, which I honestly believe was influenced by you and the things I learned listening to your radio show and reading your books.</p>
<p>Several years after our first and only child was born, I became so angry with my husband, I decided I would replace him. I rekindled an old friendship and before long I was sneaking around behind my husband's back and seeing this "friend". Once my husband found out I was cheating, he filed for a divorce and we separated. We went through a year of going back and forth, sharing our time with our daughter. I convinced myself this new man was going to fix everything, but when he started to parent my then 3-year-old, I began to see the mess I was creating.</p>
<p>I had a revelation one Sunday afternoon as I went to pick up my daughter from my soon to be ex-husband. I asked him whether we could meet the next day with our daughter and attend a church function together. To my surprise, my husband agreed and that night we shared a wonderful evening together with our daughter and I realized what a terrible thing I had done. It took many years to salvage the marriage, and many days when I had to eat humble pie, knowing how much I hurt my husband. We stopped the divorce proceedings and will celebrate our 24th wedding anniversary Sept 23rd.</p>
<p>The smartest decision I made was to reach out to my husband and tell him that I wanted to make things right. I committed to working hard to please him even when I didn't feel like it; I committed to being there through all the trials and tribulations, turning the other cheek instead of having the last word. I grew a lot by learning to handle emotions so they didn't get the better of us. You were my inspiration to save my marriage. Shame was a big part of it and I didn't want to shame myself or my family and I realize now what a great man I married.</p>
<p>Hilary</p>
Staff
2012-09-22T00:00:00Z
Letters from Listeners
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Letters-from-Listeners/467649224655511209.html
2012-09-20T22:05:00Z
2012-09-20T22:05:00Z
<p>When I was raising my children, money was tight. I did not have enough in the budget to get a Dr. Laura podcast subscription. I kept up with the topics on your show via the "Letters" and "Email of the Day" features. I love those letters and frequently forward them to my friends. There is so much to learn from other Dr. Laura fans.</p>
<p>I am 54 now and an empty nester. When I had my first child, I quit my (really good) job to stay home to raise her. My husband and I halved our income. After the house payment, there was $100 leftover! This lasted only a little while, as my husband got raises quickly.</p>
<p>I would not trade those wonderful, full-time mother memories for anything. We went to the pool, to picnics, to parks all over the city. If it was free, we were there. We had so much fun together. At the end of my life, I can face my Maker and say, "I did my best".</p>
<p>And now I can afford the Dr Laura subscription, but I still love reading the letters!</p>
<p>Frances</p>
Staff
2012-09-20T22:05:00Z
Honesty
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Honesty/681382382839225348.html
2012-09-19T21:57:00Z
2012-09-19T21:57:00Z
<p>A long time ago, before I started kindergarten, my mother and I entered a dime store in a small Seattle suburb. As we checked out, we passed those shelves with gum, candy, and sundries where I saw something I just had to have: I picked up a pair of white shoe laces, and told her I really wanted them. She said, "No, put them back." <br />We left the store, but didn't get halfway down the block before I couldn't stand it any longer, and excitedly pulled the shoe laces out of my pocket. "See, Mom? I got my white shoe laces."</p>
<p>Do you know what the fastest movement in nature is?</p>
<p>A mother's hand reaching for a wayward child.</p>
<p>The instant she recognized the white shoelaces -- SHAZAM! -- my mother grabbed my ear. You can't see it, but I've had 6" of ear lobe surgically removed - and that's both ears because Mom was ambidextrous! She marched me back to the store where I had to profusely apologize to the manager - I couldn't even spell profusely! My wife and I laugh about it now, because she had a similar experience with her mother over a chocolate marshmallow cookie.</p>
<p>But that day I learned a valuable lesson: be honest and don't take things that don't belong to you.</p>
<p>Chuck</p>
Staff
2012-09-19T21:57:00Z
Losing a Spouse
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Losing-a-Spouse/328316477142060634.html
2012-09-18T21:34:00Z
2012-09-18T21:34:00Z
<p>Dear Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I have heard letters on your show many times and cried. Now it is my turn to share.</p>
<p>Just last June, my husband and I (who were driving partners in a big rig) crashed in Texas. In a matter of moments, my life changed. My husband was driving and I was in the sleeper. He was killed and I had a broken leg and some fractures. We were always together 24/7, in work and at play.</p>
<p>Women out there often forget who their best friends really are. Whether or not you agree on something, they are still your best friends. I miss my best friend so much it hurts. I thank God I have my daughters who came to my rescue and have put their lives on hold to take care of me and help me through all this chaos. I know I will be okay in time and with help from all my family and friends.</p>
<p>I just wanted to share my experience with you and hopefully it will help some of your listeners to not forget about who your best friend really is.</p>
<p>Much love,</p>
<p>Esther</p>
Staff
2012-09-18T21:34:00Z
Siblings Hold Hands
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Siblings-Hold-Hands/975297310351604633.html
2012-09-17T22:45:00Z
2012-09-17T22:45:00Z
<p>The other day I was listening to your program when you talked about making kids hold hands when they started fighting. I told my daughter about it. She has two daughters (10 and 12 years) who fight constantly.</p>
<p>They were coming home from a trip the other day and the girls started misbehaving, so instead of yelling at them she decided to try the hand-holding method you described. Boy did it work. She even video recorded from her phone what was going on after they started holding hands - lots of drama, crying, but no more fighting and they held hands for the hour. They kept saying they didn't want to hold hands and she said they had misbehaved so that was the punishment.</p>
<p>She told the family what had happened and showed us the video and we all had a good laugh because these kids were a nightmare for the whole family. I had to take care of them for two days after this incident. When I picked them up, my daughter reminded them that if they did not behave, Nana was instructed to make them hold hands for an hour. They were just wonderful.</p>
<p>Keep up the good work Dr. Laura. You sure made a big difference for our family.</p>
<p>Nancy</p>
Staff
2012-09-17T22:45:00Z
How I Honored my Husband AND our Checking Account
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Honored-my-Husband-AND-our-Checking-Account/-10387906862231537.html
2012-09-14T22:22:00Z
2012-09-14T22:22:00Z
<p>Hi, Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>I am a stay-at-home mom of 4 children and absolutely adore my husband. He recently called me from work to say we were invited to a fancy cocktail party the next evening. I was beyond THRILLED to dress up in something other than my daily "mom" clothes and I really wanted to look fabulous for him, too! I immediately got a sitter for the kids and set out to find the perfect outfit....and I did! It was lovely, sexy, and EXPENSIVE. My husband works very hard and makes a great living for our family, but he is also very conservative and wise with his spending. The amount this outfit and accessories cost was probably outside his comfort zone, but I rationalized this purchase was for HIM and that I never spend money on myself like that. I made the purchase and went home.</p>
<p>When he came home that evening, I couldn't wait to show him my outfit. He smiled, kissed me and said all the right things: it was beautiful and I was going to look lovely! After we went to bed I just couldn't stop that nagging feeling I shouldn't have spent that much money. Although we could afford it, I still thought the best way to honor and love my husband was to take the outfit back and make a less expensive choice.</p>
<p>IT WASN'T EASY returning those clothes the next day, but I found a beautiful outfit I already had in my closet that worked perfectly. I didn't tell him I had returned the clothes and when he came home to get me for the party he asked why I wasn't wearing my new outfit? I simply said that I had changed my mind. He gave me a big squeeze and said I looked more beautiful than ever. All night at the party he couldn't keep his hands off me and I knew I had made the right choice. I made my man feel important, honored and loved. And that, ultimately, was more important to me than a new outfit...and you CAN'T put a price tag on that. I have learned in 17 years of marriage, these small decisions I make with HIS needs in mind make ALL the difference in us enjoying a happy and healthy marriage.</p>
<p>Much love to you and your efforts in strengthening marriages, families, and stay-at-home moms everywhere,</p>
<p>Melissa</p>
Staff
2012-09-14T22:22:00Z
He Loves Me the Way I Am
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Loves-Me-the-Way-I-Am/153845778638296365.html
2012-09-13T21:06:00Z
2012-09-13T21:06:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My husband and I listen to your program. Recently, we heard a caller who had gained a bit of weight since they married and her husband wasn't keen on that. Your advice was drop her clothes in front of him and say is this not what you like?</p>
<p>I am 60 now. I have been married to the same fellow for 38 years. I am 5'5 and weigh 139 lbs. I have gained 20 lbs since our wedding. I work out at the gym 5 days a week and eat a well-balanced diet. My husband recognizes how hard I try to keep the weight off since entering menopause. He tells me how much he loves me and my body. Every year, tucked in my Christmas stocking, he puts in an IOU for a “naughty-but-nice” outfit which I wear occasionally. It makes me feel good he still thinks I have a good-looking body at my age.</p>
<p>Of course, part of my exercise and diet is to keep fit and not be in a wheelchair or use a walker when I get old. I don't think I'm old yet, even though I'm 60, but every one of us has a responsibility to exercise and eat well to prevent unnecessary health issues. So to all your listeners: start exercising and eat right.</p>
<p>Margaret</p>
Staff
2012-09-13T21:06:00Z
Being There for a Hug
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-There-for-a-Hug/41209849193086016.html
2012-09-12T19:35:00Z
2012-09-12T19:35:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>This week my 2 kiddos returned to school. My first grader (who is characteristically mature and socially well-adjusted) had a rough morning. Following the morning drop-off by Dad, he was quiet and tearful in class and was struggling to recover his emotions.</p>
<p>His teacher, who is a very compassionate woman, gave him a little time and encouragement, but finally called me to see if I could come in to give an extra hug. Because I am an at-home mom, I was available to meet him at school for a few encouraging words, a big smile and I gave him the hug he needed. He looked at me with a grateful smile, then trotted off with his buddies, and never looked back.</p>
<p>I am so thankful that I have a husband who values and supports my presence and my role in raising our family. My kids have the security of knowing their mom will always be present to support them when they have great days, as well as those days when they just need that "extra hug".</p>
<p>Thanks for all you do -</p>
<p>Diana<br />At-Home Mom to two great kids since birth! Yeah!!</p>
Staff
2012-09-12T19:35:00Z
Back to School Blues
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Back-to-School-Blues/-166648123909657534.html
2012-09-11T21:01:00Z
2012-09-11T21:01:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My kids aren’t having the “back to school blues”, their mommy is!!</p>
<p>My son and daughter started full-time school last year. As I dropped them off, I fought back the tears as I drove away watching them walk into their school for the very first time. I came home to an empty and silent home filled with sadness. I was overwhelmed with emotions. It took me about a month to get used to the new routine as a stay-at-home mom with no kids in the house for half the day.</p>
<p>This year, I thought I would be much better as I drove away on the first day of school. Boy was I wrong! Those familiar emotions snuck up on me once again. Tears flowed as I waved good-bye to them. Yet again, I walked into an empty house with lots of errands and chores to begin, but not with my two little sidekicks to help start my day.</p>
<p>Too many times this summer, I heard many moms longing for school to start; they were completely frustrated they had to spend time alone with their children and were going insane because of it. They were constantly on the lookout for camps to occupy their kids and release them from their parental duty! I was not one of them. I said to one friend, "I am really going to miss them when they go back to school; we had such fun this summer!" She looked at me as if I had completely lost my mind and sadly could not relate to my sentiments.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, for honoring the moms out there who wished the summer was a bit longer to spend time with their kids. I know one day, my tears at the end of the summer will be because I am waving good bye on a college campus to my son and daughter. So for now, I embrace all the great parts of being a mother that include wanting to spend as much time with them as I can before they are off to a school where there is no “pick up line” at the end of the day!</p>
<p>I am my kids' mom, and my hubby's girlfriend!</p>
<p>Heidi</p>
Staff
2012-09-11T21:01:00Z
Parents Being Selfish
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parents-Being-Selfish/633675575492593033.html
2012-09-10T14:13:00Z
2012-09-10T14:13:00Z
<p>I've been a loyal podcast listener for years, Dr. Laura, and it still hurts my heart every time I hear a call in which children have a broken home because of their parents' own selfish behaviors.</p>
<p>My husband and I have been married 28 years. It has not always been easy, but we have kept - and will continue to keep - our marriage strong, not just until the kids are up and out, but forever, because we made a commitment to do so.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, we married without taking the time to get to know each other, and the emotional growth that took place over the next 10 years was incredibly frustrating at times and put a tremendous strain on us. Nevertheless, we worked putting ourselves through school and my husband went on to finish law school. We managed to scrape by and even got a home of our own. We both had to deal with difficult in-laws, and we survived a number of “shark attacks” by people we thought we could trust. When our kids came along, no matter what we were going through - and we went through a lot - we raised them in a stable, loving environment with morals, values, ethics, compassion and strength.</p>
<p>Some of the callers - the whiny, selfish adults who put their own needs, wants and whims before their children's well-being - make me really sad and, frankly, a little scared for future generations. So, thanks for all your help and the good you do in this world. God bless your son for his service, and God bless you and your husband for raising a soldier.</p>
<p>Regards,</p>
<p>Rosi</p>
<p>PS: Yes, even in our fifties, we are still each other's boyfriend and girlfriend every day (and sometimes twice a day).</p>
Staff
2012-09-10T14:13:00Z
What is SGS?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-is-SGS/-825761334987848500.html
2012-09-07T21:50:00Z
2012-09-07T21:50:00Z
<p>Hi, Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>I teach high school in California, and my wife and I have two daughters. Fifteen years ago when our daughters were in high school and over 16 (we didn't allow them to date until they were 16), my younger daughter had been dating a young man for a few months. At one point, I noticed he was not around anymore, and I asked her what happened with her boyfriend. She said, "Oh we broke up. I got SGS and I broke up with him."</p>
<p>Now I thought I knew my daughter well, but this sounded like a sexually transmitted disease. Before jumping to conclusions, however, I tried to stay calm and asked what SGS was.</p>
<p>She said, "It's like what you talk about regarding the teen girls at your high school… They are really nice people, but when they start dating a guy they start to change. They try to be what <strong><em>he</em></strong> wants and lose themselves and their friends and stuff. You know, they get <strong>Stupid Girl Syndrome – SGS</strong>!"</p>
<p>I have listened to your program for years because you are so kid-centered in everything you do, as am I. For a long time I kept thinking I should write you about SGS.</p>
<p>You and I have much in common -- we both work out, we both started riding bikes at the same time, we both had bike accidents, we care about people and are almost the same age. Keep up the good work. Thanks for all you do.</p>
<p>Chip</p>
Staff
2012-09-07T21:50:00Z
Don't Get Me Wrong, I Love My Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dont-Get-Me-Wrong,-I-Love-My-Kids/869449369044275680.html
2012-09-06T20:40:00Z
2012-09-06T20:40:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Today, I overheard a conversation in the office kitchen where two persons were sharing stories about what they had done during the weekend. One person mentioned she had fun with her kids; however, she would rather be in the office since it is "more relaxing.” The other person agreed with her statement and said, "Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, but I would also prefer to be at work than staying home with them."</p>
<p>I used to think that their financial situation is what drove them to work. After I heard their conversation, I realize that becoming a stay-at-home mom is not a choice about whether you can financially support your family or not, but it is about love and sacrifice.</p>
<p>I have more respect now for my stay-at-home wife than before. Raising our 3-year-old daughter is not easy. I hope I'm not being too harsh, but I realize now that only the bravest and the most unselfish person can have the title of a stay-at-home MOM.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Erick</p>
Staff
2012-09-06T20:40:00Z
My Sister 'Borrowed' Your Book
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Sister-Borrowed-Your-Book/111164464688490383.html
2012-09-05T18:43:00Z
2012-09-05T18:43:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I waited with much anticipation for your book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." I didn't have a husband. I was a single (knocked-up) mother who hoped maybe someday I would have a husband, and I wanted to get a head start on how to treat a real man.</p>
<p>When it was released I purchased two copies - one for me and one for a friend's wife, who I thought could really benefit from it. When I gave it to her, she looked at me like I had two heads. Meanwhile my married sister "borrowed" my book. Flash forward many years later, my friend is recently divorced while my sister's marriage thrives. By the way, she has yet to return the book.</p>
<p>The pain of the husbands in the pages of your book was acute in my friend, but I was sadly unable to convince his wife of the power she had as a wife and as a woman. I'm sure she never bothered to open the cover.</p>
<p>My son is 20 and in college and I have found the man who will swim through shark-infested waters to bring me a lemonade. I have also re-acquired a copy of your book and am confident that when I can put your advice into practice, there will be one more man who is properly fed and cared for. Thanks for your wisdom. Keep doing what you do.</p>
<p>Maria</p>
Staff
2012-09-05T18:43:00Z
'Are You Crazy' Glares
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Are-You-Crazy-Glares/-4014260862459099.html
2012-09-04T21:25:00Z
2012-09-04T21:25:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>In my adult life, I have been exposed to what I affectionately like to call the "Are you crazy glares" from others.</p>
<p>One of the most memorable "Are you crazy glares" came when I told a woman why I was a stay-at-home mom. I explained, "When they put my newborn daughter into my arms, the first words out of my mouth to my husband were, 'I am never going back to work again.'" She said, "But you can afford a nanny to take care of her." I kindly responded, "I am her mother; this is my new life's calling. I want to be a present mother, not only to love her, but to teach her, and watch every “first” that comes with a growing child and not hire someone to do that for me."</p>
<p>Last year, I received "Are you crazy glares" when I told a few friends how heartbreaking it was to watch my children start school for the first time and how silent the house was without them in it all day long. "But you are free to do what you want without children getting in the way!" they exclaimed. I replied, "They are not in my way; they are part of the fun in every day."</p>
<p>And today, yet again, "Are you crazy glares" stared back at me when a fellow mom from my children's school asked why I didn't enroll them in a camp every week of the summer break. "What did you do with them all day long?" she asked in an exhausted tone. My reply was simple but long-winded:</p>
<p>"Let's see….what did we do....<br />We built forts in the backyard, jumped puddles after a long summer day's rain. We invented the perfect cookie recipe with just the right amount of chocolate chips. We went swimming. We played board games, had a few lemonade stands, enjoyed movie nights with fresh popcorn, went to the park, read books, and created some not-so-great works of art. Had “PJ Mondays” and breakfast in bed. Even our trips to the grocery were fun as a promised cookie for good behavior awaited them at home. I taught my daughter how to braid hair. I built obstacle courses in the backyard with my son. And together we made up plays and shows as I was trained by my kids how to be their perfect backup singer and dancer. And my favorite time this summer was when my kids walked me down a sandy beach as I renewed my vows of ten years to their Daddy."</p>
<p>For all those moms who enjoyed their summer as much as I did, know you are not alone and far from being crazy that you enjoyed spending it with your kids.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for continuing to give a positive voice to the stay-at-home moms in America that actually believe they are doing the right thing!!!</p>
<p>I am starting to believe if I get keep getting the "Are you crazy glares" I must be on the right path for my life and more importantly for my family!</p>
<p>I am my kids' mom, my hubby's girlfriend and a huge Dr. Laura fan!</p>
<p>Heidi</p>
Staff
2012-09-04T21:25:00Z
My Husband's Soul
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husbands-Soul/-752409859047669068.html
2012-08-31T20:43:00Z
2012-08-31T20:43:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>It is my 29th wedding anniversary and I wanted to share what an amazing man I married. I want this email to give other girls the incentive to choose right! Doing so blesses your own life immensely, but also has the potential to bless others. I use social media to post light-hearted things and browse pictures of long lost friends. But this anniversary I wanted people to know how amazing my husband is. He is a humble guy who is very successful in his work but more importantly in his family life. So I posted the following on my Facebook page as a tribute to my husband. To understand it, you should know that we are a foster family. Here goes the post:</p>
<p>Twenty-nine years ago today, I married a 145 lb. college drop-out who liked wearing jean jackets and cowboy boots and really just liked to have fun. When he asked Dad for my "hand in marriage" my folks did not bat an eye at his college status or lack of direction because in their maturity they could see beyond that to a really great kid. The character and integrity my folks saw in this 20-year-old has multiplied ten-fold in 29 years. I could give you one example after another, but most of those can be summed up with one simple image, an image that is forever etched into my mind.</p>
<p>The image plays out like this: Greg, tired from a long day of work and an evening playing with Ben, supervising Grace's pool party, and connecting with Jess at college, finally crawls into bed. We both fall asleep quickly, only to be awoken by the cries of a newborn baby. We don't really know this little girl yet, only that the 2-day-old baby is small, working some drugs out of her system, and her birth mother is unable to care for her. I roll over to make my way to the crying baby when Greg touches my arm and says, "No. I got it. Go back to sleep". I could see him out of our bedroom door, gently snuggling and comforting this vulnerable child. I remember thinking, "What man does this? Works long hours supporting his family, comes home to engage with his family, gives sleep back to his wife, and sweetly embraces a stranger's child?" At the moment I knew I was one blessed woman and was reminded Greg had a heart of gold, a heart that had just begun to make room for a fourth child.</p>
<p>Thank you Greg for loving us all with this tenderness and respect. I hope our children grow, mature, develop and find a spouse who has the same kind of integrity you exemplify each day. I see your quiet confidence and tender nature as a reflection of God. You have an amazing kindness that blesses this world and an unwavering faith that guides your actions! Calvin friends, who knew? </p>
<p>Happy Anniversary Greg!</p>
<p>J.</p>
Staff
2012-08-31T20:43:00Z
Reaping the Benefits
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Reaping-the-Benefits/-542760094797753556.html
2012-08-30T19:00:00Z
2012-08-30T19:00:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have been a stay-at-home mom for two years, and it has been hard. I haven't loved it. I have a happy life generally, no big trials to deal with, but just the fact that I haven't gotten as much sleep as I like has been difficult for me.</p>
<p>I was always good at everything I did in school and college and I was really good cleaning growing up, so I totally thought being a stay-at-home mom would be easy. What I didn't know is that every mom in my life had made it look easy when it is not.</p>
<p>This makes sense, because as a mom if you make it look hard, your kids will think it's their fault. So you can't do that, and none of the moms I knew did that. So I was tricked along with many people that being a mom is a piece of cake.</p>
<p>Well now I know that it takes all the creativity and ingenuity and faith in the world. I have a 2-month-old baby girl and a 2-year-old boy. I am finally starting to enjoy moments of this job. It has taken prayer and acceptance, but I think yesterday I had my "AHA" moment.</p>
<p>I was taking the car in to get fixed, and while we waited for hours at the little shop, I went to a nearby store and bought some balloons to help keep my son entertained. The man working the desk would come in and see us playing, and once he leaned over to my toddler and told him how lucky he was he has such a good mom.</p>
<p>I put that together with my landlord who is a grandpa and who brags to my husband and even his family living around him about how I am such a good mom, as he sees me playing in their yard with my son.</p>
<p>I love getting praise, which is probably a bad thing, but because I was talented I got lot of it in school and growing up. I learned to live off of it. I knew I wouldn't get that any more choosing to stay at home, and so getting these complements has really blessed me and opened my eyes to see that people really do appreciate motherhood.</p>
<p>Even though I don't get many accolades from women, it seems that men - especially grandpas - can see the value in what moms do.</p>
<p>Anyway, I am starting to wake up with an inner drive to make it through the day, knowing I have hard work to do, but it is worth it. I am glad to start having these feelings because it has taken me 2 years to get them. Usually I hear other mothers talk about how wonderful it is and I would be skeptical and wonder why they think it is wonderful when for me it is hard. But like anything good, you have to work at it and do it before you reap the benefits.</p>
<p>I am finally reaping the joy of my hard work. But it's still hard.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>J.</p>
Staff
2012-08-30T19:00:00Z
Our Daughter's Change in Attitude
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-Daughters-Change-in-Attitude/241481340690299310.html
2012-08-29T19:55:00Z
2012-08-29T19:55:00Z
<p>I am at stay-at-home mom to a 4-year-old girl and 2-year-old boy and we live in what is considered to be a resort community. I mention that because there are few peers for my children other than children on vacation which obviously isn't consistent. There is a day care within a few miles of us and after interacting with the owner for a several months I was talked into taking my daughter there for a couple of hours once a week so that she could get "peer interaction". (Of course the establishment is deemed a "little school" but it is nothing more than a day care.) My daughter was thrilled about going there and always said she had a great time whenever I picked her up.</p>
<p>All of a sudden there was a change in my daughter's attitude. It was fast and it was blatant. She had a general disregard for me, whereas before we were on the same team. I won't tell you we didn't butt heads before, but after it was just a palatable change in level of respect toward me. My husband and I sat down to discuss it and determined these day care visits were the only thing that had changed and decided to nix them to see if there was an improvement in the relationship between my daughter and me. It was almost immediate and I am happy to say we are back to where we were before and I am ever so thankful.</p>
<p>I felt compelled to write after hearing the podcast where you spoke about statistics from Day Cares Don't Care and the reference to putting your children in with others that don't play piano expecting them to come out being great piano players. You were spot on, Dr. Laura, as usual, and although I am ashamed for not sticking to my guns on what I knew was right, I am glad we caught it quickly without much harm being done and it is a huge incentive to keep on doing the right thing. It sickens me to hear parents refer to dropping their less than 6-year-olds off at "school" as if they are doing some huge favor to their children by way of education. Who exactly are these parents trying to convince?</p>
<p>Thank you for everything you do and for giving us the strength to do what's right when it seems the whole world is aggressively trying to convince you you're wrong.</p>
<p>Summer</p>
Staff
2012-08-29T19:55:00Z
Girls' and Guys' Nights Out
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Girls-and-Guys-Nights-Out/780847383158963771.html
2012-08-28T20:51:00Z
2012-08-28T20:51:00Z
<p>When I graduated from college, one of my closest friends wanted to ensure continued regular gatherings with our group. She organized a bunco night to make sure that people who attended would commit to the evening. Eight years later, we still gather once a month. We have lost a few friends and gained a few friends along the way, and we no longer play bunco, although we still call it bunco night. We gather, eat, talk, laugh and sometimes cry.</p>
<p>About two years in, our husbands, who thankfully all get along, decided they didn't want to sit at home alone once a month, so, they started "ocnub" night. They meet where we do, go out for dinner and a beer, and sometimes see a movie, or go mini golfing or to a nickel arcade (those boys just don't have quite as much to talk about as we girls do!).</p>
<p>Sometimes the couples gather together, but ultimately, our same gender time is of great value to each of us. We have taken a few girls weekends, and the boys have played with the idea but haven't pulled it off yet.</p>
<p>Now, we have kids, we have seen miscarriages, relationship problems, job loss and gains, family drama, marriages and so much more. We love our time together because of our similarities and our differences and are happy to set aside that first Friday of every month.</p>
<p>Charlene</p>
Staff
2012-08-28T20:51:00Z
The Importance of Siblings
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-of-Siblings/22306873453290013.html
2012-08-27T20:37:00Z
2012-08-27T20:37:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I agree with your statement about the importance of siblings. I have 6 sisters, 3 older and 3 younger. I have heard all the comments possible about so many girls. "I feel bad for your Dad" or "What an emotional house that must have been." And those were the nice ones. I agree when there was a lot of us at home there was drama and we had our share of fights. I also admit we weren't rich and resources had to be shared, which at the time I complained about. I was dumb and ignorant then. But what it taught me was to cooperate, share, and know what the important things in life really are.</p>
<p>In college (all 7 of us have a degree) I had a roommate ask me if I wished I would have had less sisters so I could have had a bigger Christmas! That has never left me.</p>
<p>I love all my sisters with all my heart and wherever I live, I always have 6 best friends. I wouldn't trade that for all the money in China. We get together every year (with no husbands and children) and laugh so hard we hurt. I, of course, give credit to my parents for having us, raising us with values, and teaching us what is important. I have one girl and two small boys. I wish my daughter had a sister, but she has girl cousins who are her best friends.</p>
<p>With my husband, 5-year-old boy and 3-year-old boy, I am learning quickly how boys think and act. I love it, and what an adventurous life it is giving me!</p>
<p>Thanks for all you do for families. Because of you I am a stay at home Mom.</p>
<p>Thanks,</p>
<p>Corinna</p>
Staff
2012-08-27T20:37:00Z
How to Cook a Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-to-Cook-a-Husband/-36974745113501548.html
2012-08-24T21:15:00Z
2012-08-24T21:15:00Z
<p>While searching through a 400 page handwritten cookbook from 1946, I came across a very simple recipe on page 424. It has a corny picture of a husband in a hot frying pan. I had to read on, and here’s what it said:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">"The first thing to do is to catch him. Many a good husband is spoiled in the cooking. Some women keep them constantly in hot water, while others freeze them with conjugal coolness; some smother them with contention and others keep them in a pickled state all their lives. These women serve them with tongue sauce. Now, it is not to be supposed that husbands will be tender and good if treated in this way; but they are, on the contrary, very delicious when treated as follows:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Get a large jar (call it the jar of carefulness), place your husband in it and place him near the fire of conjugal love; let the fire be pretty hot, especially, let it be clear. Above all, let the heat be constant.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Cover him with affections; garnish him over with spices of pleasantry. If you add kisses and other confections, let them be companioned with a sufficient portion of secrecy mixed with prudence and moderation. It is OK to overcook the affections at any time. Simmer for a lifetime."</p>
<p>Diane</p>
Staff
2012-08-24T21:15:00Z
What I Wish I Could 'Re-Do' in my Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-I-Wish-I-Could-Re-Do-in-my-Marriage/890415024845334172.html
2012-08-23T22:33:00Z
2012-08-23T22:33:00Z
<p>It seemed like it happened quickly -- my marriage was falling apart before my eyes. I mentioned my situation to a retired woman who had been divorced for several years. Her only comment was “try to appreciate him more.”</p>
<p>In hindsight, the marriage had been deteriorating for many years, but the business of life kept me from seeing or addressing it. I had stretched myself too thin with PTA, a busy social schedule and a demanding job. I was always tired. Imagine that!</p>
<p>On the long drive home, I was alone with my thoughts and realized how many times I missed the opportunity to appreciate the man who gave me great children and a beautiful life.</p>
<p>Once I was able to be honest with myself and admit that I had fallen short in the relationship, I saw things differently. I knew I had to change some things if this was going to work.</p>
<p>Sure enough, after a couple weeks of an attitude adjustment on my part, my husband started to respond and reciprocate. Oh, how I wish I could have recognized my shortcomings sooner.</p>
<p>Here's to many more years with the man I love!</p>
<p>Lorri</p>
Staff
2012-08-23T22:33:00Z
My Parents Didn't Treat Us Kids the Same
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Parents-Didnt-Treat-Us-Kids-the-Same/-689524400625054408.html
2012-08-22T22:29:00Z
2012-08-22T22:29:00Z
<p>Hi Dr Laura,<br /><br />I am the middle of 7 children, 6 girls 1 boy. Growing up, things were pretty tight. We all had jobs as teens, we all had to help pay for things like senior portraits, school activities, class rings, and we all had chores and took turns making dinner (our house was always SPOTLESS and it was a cooperative effort). We were all taught the same principles of right and wrong. We all were required to do volunteer work and community service and to be kind, gracious and not judge others. We all had what we needed as basic humans. However; my parents didn't and still don't treat us all the same.<br /><br />There is a difference between being treated the same and being treated equally. To treat us all the same would be unfair. We are 7 different people with 7 different needs, 7 different skills, talents and abilities and 7 different needs. We are all treated appropriately based on who we are.<br /><br />For example, my one sister has the whole deal, an education, a BMW in the driveway, 4 wonderful kids, 2 beautiful grandchildren and is married to the only boyfriend she has ever had. We have all of our family events at her home because it just has this amazing vibe. This sister is the center of attention and the source of information for the family. That is her personality. We all embrace that. She is also the one who is always the first one to arrive in a crisis. When she had gallbladder surgery a couple of weeks ago you would have thought it was like a scene from Steel Magnolias - everyone gathered.</p>
<p>A week later, my baby sister had sinus surgery and her husband and my folks were the only ones there. Unfair? By most people’s ideas, yes, but below the surface, no. My baby sister didn't want the fuss made that my other sister did. Different child, different needs.<br /><br />My dad takes some of my brothers-in-law hunting or shooting. He doesn't do that with my husband. He and my husband go to lunch and my husband does his tech work. Unfair? NO, my husband doesn't hunt or shoot guns. My dad and my husband have just as good of a relationship as the other sons-in-law.<br /><br />As a large family, we function quite harmoniously because my parents recognize it is OK to treat us differently to accommodate our individual needs. They lovingly taught us they don't expect us to be the same and that we each have our needs met by them in our own way.. <br /><br />My parents are an excellent example of how to raise a large, emotionally healthy family and keeping sibling rivalry to an appropriate, positive level. They never once expected us to be as good as another, but rather do the best we could with our abilities. Life isn't fair, but it <em>is</em> when, in the end, one is made whole based on the individual's needs and personalities.<br /><br />Kudos to my parents; they did a great job! This was no easy task!<br /><br />Sincerely,</p>
<p><br />Jennifer</p>
Staff
2012-08-22T22:29:00Z
Proud To NOT Be a Feminist
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Proud-To-NOT-Be-a-Feminist/-102307156006984805.html
2012-08-21T21:54:00Z
2012-08-21T21:54:00Z
<p>I was recently at a little coffee shop, and the girl making the drinks chose to make my drink first instead of the gentleman who had ordered ahead of me. Her reasoning was we women had to stick together. She proceeded to tell me that, at 25-years-old, she was a feminist. I told her I definitely was NOT one, and that I loved being a stay-at-home mom; I loved being with my children, and having dinner on the table for my husband when he got home.</p>
<p>Her reasoning was that guys today are just jerks.</p>
<p>I told her that my 25-year-old son is a true gentleman. Could it be because he was raised by a mom who is NOT feminist?</p>
<p>Andrea</p>
Staff
2012-08-21T21:54:00Z
Remember to Have Fun, Moms
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Remember-to-Have-Fun,-Moms/-166680368828469870.html
2012-08-20T18:25:00Z
2012-08-20T18:25:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Recently on one of your podcasts, I heard an insightful call with the mom of 4 children who was yelling all the time.</p>
<p>My husband and I have 4 sons and I must admit our home was "delightful chaos". Each night the mess was barely cleaned up to enjoy our space the next day, but our kids slept soundly. We have raised 4 amazing, God-fearing, country-loving good young men (now in their 20's) who will enjoy their children, if they are so blessed.</p>
<p>Finally my home is clean but I must admit I miss the mess!</p>
<p>I have no regrets. We did not miss a moment of hugs, playtime, stories, or quiet reflective moments with them. And guess what? Not one of them remembers the disarray... just the forts, friends and love.</p>
<p>Thanks so much for encouraging the moms of children that may one day be my kids' friends or my daughters-in-law!</p>
<p>Much admiration,</p>
<p>Deb and "The Guys"</p>
Staff
2012-08-20T18:25:00Z
First Day of School
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/First-Day-of-School/464369282136362207.html
2012-08-17T20:26:00Z
2012-08-17T20:26:00Z
<p>After my first child's first day at kindergarten, I asked how it went. She launched into a detailed description of how a pack of older students surrounded her and started pushing her around and calling her names. She said that she made a break for it and was able to make it safely to her class.</p>
<p>I felt a rush of panic...</p>
<p>Until I realized that one day of school wouldn't have altered my daughter's wild imagination. "Okay," I said, "What really happened at school today?"</p>
<p>She sighed and answered dejectedly, "Nothing, Mom… just a boring old day."</p>
<p>Michelle</p>
Staff
2012-08-17T20:26:00Z
Parents Behaving as Selfish Teenagers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parents-Behaving-as-Selfish-Teenagers/597346161289708348.html
2012-08-16T21:20:00Z
2012-08-16T21:20:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I need to vent to someone who will understand my feelings.</p>
<p>I am a divorced mom who has decided to dedicate my life to my daughter. I am so angry and frustrated, because there are so many single parents acting like children. I see parents who are separated and they immediately seek out a new partner. In addition, they introduce their "friends" to their children. Furthermore, I see parents getting babysitters when it is their time with the children, so they can go out and party. Some children now have to go through another divorce!</p>
<p>I don't understand how these parents can't see how their behavior is hurting their child. Children of divorce are going through trauma, and they do not need any more stress added to their lives. My heart hurts; these children are innocent and they need love and support from their parents, not ones going from partner to partner who don't see how their actions affect their children in the long run.</p>
<p>I am a teacher and I see the damage that this type of lifestyle is causing to children. I just want to shake these parents to get them to wake up! Little children are going to grow up in this muck, and then they are going to be filled with anger and resentment; they will have problems functioning in relationships and building a happy life.</p>
<p>Thanks for listening Dr. Laura, and thank you for all your hard work!</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Traci</p>
Staff
2012-08-16T21:20:00Z
Parents, Raise Them Yourselves
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parents,-Raise-Them-Yourselves/-27033774292417121.html
2012-08-15T20:40:00Z
2012-08-15T20:40:00Z
<p>Hi, Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>I was hired by a day care center at the age of 16 as an assistant teacher. When I was hired, I was told I was legally too young to be there, but "they needed the help." That was my first red flag. Over the two years I worked at the center I witnessed "teachers" hitting very young children hard in the back of their heads, flicking newborn babies on the bottom of their feet, or pinching babies and children whenever annoyed with them.</p>
<p>I am not a mother, but I have been a nanny for the same family for the past 12 years of my life. Being a nanny has shown me that no one does a better job at raising their kids than their own parents.</p>
<p>If I were to give parents one tip before they decide to put their children in day care or hire a nanny, it would be to think about their child growing a stronger bond with a stranger rather than themselves, or to see their teenager have more of the character traits of the nanny rather than their own.</p>
<p>Thanks Dr. Laura for opening the minds of your listeners each day to the real truths about the world.</p>
<p>Pam</p>
Staff
2012-08-15T20:40:00Z
Pregnant and Unmarried
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Pregnant-and-Unmarried/-753752608043487310.html
2012-08-14T20:26:00Z
2012-08-14T20:26:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have been an avid listener for more years than I would like to admit. I agree with your stance on stay-at-home mothers and doing things in the right order which brings me to the subject of my e-mail.</p>
<p>I was at the dentist's office the other day and the hygienist who was working on my teeth was pregnant. I asked her if she knew if it was a boy or girl, and she said smiling widely that it was a boy. This is her first child, so I asked if she was married (because it's not safe to assume any more) and she said, "No." I asked, "When are you getting married?" She replied they wanted to save up and have a nice wedding. I explained they could always go to the Justice of the Peace before the baby is born, and have something later. She said, "Oh, no. I don't think my father would like that and besides it already feels like we're married." I asked why her father would disapprove of a civil ceremony before the baby's birth and she said, and I quote, "He's a preacher and would be upset if I did that and he didn't officiate." I quit discussing it at that moment as she did have sharp instruments and access to my mouth.</p>
<p>I weep for the future generations if this is the kind of attitude young parents have. Personally, I would think her preacher father would be more upset about his daughter being pregnant out-of-wedlock, but that's just my opinion.</p>
<p>I look forward to listening to you for many more years to come.</p>
<p>Mindy</p>
Staff
2012-08-14T20:26:00Z
Will He Love His Car or Me?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Will-He-Love-His-Car-or-Me/430324458012151885.html
2012-08-13T21:45:00Z
2012-08-13T21:45:00Z
<p>The first thing I noticed when I met my now husband was that he drove an old red car which had been out in the sun so long the hood was pink. Although it was old, it worked just fine and it was clean. On top of that, I learned he had cleaned and detailed it himself.</p>
<p>This was a contrast from the other guys I had dated who all had nice cars - two years old or less. They also had nice stereo systems they loved to blast while we would drive around and old containers of fast-food in their cars.</p>
<p>When I met my husband, he would turn off the radio every single time I got in the car because he would much rather talk. We would rarely talk about “things;” it was always about interests or opinions, which was so refreshing and different from the other guys who would go on and on trying to impress me with things.</p>
<p>It was exciting to find a guy more interested in me than his car.</p>
<p>Heather</p>
Staff
2012-08-13T21:45:00Z
The First and Only Time in Day Care
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-First-and-Only-Time-in-Day-Care/256675787269457697.html
2012-08-10T21:19:00Z
2012-08-10T21:19:00Z
<p>Back in the 70s, when my son was a year old and I was a stay-at-home mom, my friend who was a working mom talked me into a girls' day with shopping and lunch. She said I could leave my son at her day care assuring me he would be well cared for. I kept saying no, not trusting my little guy with strangers. She told me it's only for a few hours and it would be good for him to play with some other little kids his age. I finally caved, and we dropped our kids off, leaving my son crying for Momma. I then worried the entire day about if he was going to be safe.</p>
<p>Later when we returned, my son was running around in a really badly soaked diaper and the woman in charge proceeded to jump me about how my son didn't conform well to their schedule! She told me when nap time came he wouldn't go to sleep! I asked her what he did while the other kids were sleeping. She said he laid in bed talking to himself playing with his toy! I explained this was the FIRST time he had even been in a day care, and that if talking to himself quietly while laying down was "not fitting in" - that was ridiculous! I also expressed my concern about the wet diaper that I KNEW had not been changed for hours.</p>
<p>My friend was so used to this dealing with day care, that she seemed not to get riled by this, and clearly not getting how this angered me. I never left my son again at a day care. </p>
<p>It saddens me our kids are just another sticky face in the crowd of kids dropped off at day care. Our kids need their mommas.</p>
<p>Debbie</p>
Staff
2012-08-10T21:19:00Z
Persistence and Positive Attitude
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Persistence-and-Positive-Attitude/937695378703588765.html
2012-08-09T20:30:00Z
2012-08-09T20:30:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I really appreciated your recent discussion on jobs for the jobless.</p>
<p>About two years ago, my husband had just graduated law school and was having difficulty finding a job even though he did everything right (went to a top law school, worked great internships while still in school, and volunteered for several free legal clinics to help the less fortunate).</p>
<p>Luckily, we don't have any kids so we were able to survive on my salary alone, but it was extremely difficult to watch him struggle for a year without a job. Through it all, I learned to appreciate that I married a real man. He submitted over three thousand applications in that time period, while keeping a positive attitude, even though there were applicants with more experience applying for the same jobs. He also made money through donating plasma, participating in medical research studies, picking up any cases he could as a contract lawyer, and volunteering three times a week in free legal clinics to connect with people in his field. It was the volunteer work that led him to his future employer. I'm happy to say he has been working a job he loves for a year now.</p>
<p>Thanks for all you do to advocate individuals to make smart life and family decisions.</p>
<p>Judi</p>
Staff
2012-08-09T20:30:00Z
Respect From Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Respect-From-Children/-366836191402005745.html
2012-08-08T21:57:00Z
2012-08-08T21:57:00Z
<p>I used to think my husband was a little too harsh on our 4 children, as he would correct them on little things that I normally would have let slide.</p>
<p>One time I yelled for one of our teenage boys and he yelled back, "Yeah?".... My husband jumped up from his recliner and got an inch from our teenage son's face and said in a low deep commanding voice, "Did I just hear you talking disrespectfully to MY WIFE?" Not, "your mother"..., but.., "my wife!" Yes, all 4 of our children were from our marriage to each other, and he was the father and I was the mother.</p>
<p>After 23 years of marriage, my husband passed away from esophageal cancer. </p>
<p>Six months after his death and coming to terms with being a single parent, I told our youngest son (the only one still living at home) to give me his car keys because he was grounded from driving for a week. My son dropped the keys in my hand and never backtalked or showed any disrespect. I recalled in my mind how my husband had confronted our other son's disrespect. I learned that respect is taught, and found my new-found role a tad bit easier due to my husband's diligence in being so "harsh" in raising them.</p>
<p>Even today, my husband is still alive in my children who are following the rules he taught them.</p>
<p>Thanks for listening!</p>
<p>Maryann</p>
Staff
2012-08-08T21:57:00Z
How Men and Women Communicate
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Men-and-Women-Communicate/-535415456139133500.html
2012-08-07T22:37:00Z
2012-08-07T22:37:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>I'm a little behind on my podcasts, but you made a statement the other day regarding the differences men and women have in communication. It reminded me of an incident I witnessed and laughed about with my daughter.</p>
<p>Example of incident between two women:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Woman 1 walks out of restaurant and drops her wallet.<br />Woman 2 - "Excuse me Ma’am, but I believe you dropped your wallet."<br />Woman 1 - "Oh!" walking back to pick up the wallet "Thank you! I hate it when I do that."<br />Woman 2 - "Oh I know. It's such a pain getting everything replaced. And expensive too."<br />Woman 1 - "I know. Thanks so much."<br />Woman 2 - "You're welcome."<br />Woman 1 - "Have a nice day," continuing on her way.<br />Woman 2 - "Thanks, you too."</p>
<p><br />Example of incident between two men - and what actually happened:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Man 1 walks out of restaurant and drops his wallet.<br />Man 2 - "Sir!" when man 1 looks, Man 2 points to dropped wallet.<br />Man 1 walks back and picks up wallet; holds wallets up towards Man 2 and says "Thanks."<br />Man 2 nods head in acknowledgment and continues on his way.</p>
<p>The same thing was said in both cases, just one verbal, the other nonverbal.</p>
<p>Cheryl</p>
Staff
2012-08-07T22:37:00Z
What Age is the Best Age?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Age-is-the-Best-Age/-229432969281784069.html
2012-08-06T20:10:00Z
2012-08-06T20:10:00Z
<p>I got thinking about when was the best age in my life. I looked back on the last 50 years... Some days I wish I was back at the age of 10, playing and swimming all summer... Then I thought, no, being 17 with my first car and freedom to drive myself to the beach was the best… Then came college, marriage, and then babies… Surely this was the best age, playing with them, taking care of my home and family. Then came all the fun with having older children, watching them grow and become independent. Surely this was the best age!</p>
<p>Well, now I believe today is the best age! I finally get to see the fruits of having been a hands-on mom, and seeing the product of stressing to the girls, "Do things in the right order: graduate, get a job, live on your own, then get married and have children. Life is hard enough doing these things out of order, but it is far easier to do them in order."</p>
<p>One daughter is now on her own; she graduated, found a wonderful job, and now has her CPA license. She also has a kind and wise man for a boyfriend, who has graduated, is living on his own, and is self-supporting. I couldn't be prouder! My other daughter is in her last year of college, has an amazing insight to life, and is on her way to being self-supporting.</p>
<p>Today is the best age, because each day, I feel I have a little more wisdom than before, more gratitude to God for the blessings he has given me, and more joy with my life.</p>
<p>Dr. Laura, thank you for all you do to support us and encouraging us to do the right thing!</p>
<p>Linda</p>
Staff
2012-08-06T20:10:00Z
Consequences to Life Decisions
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Consequences-to-Life-Decisions/359432136011428249.html
2012-08-03T21:32:00Z
2012-08-03T21:32:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My husband and I have 3 grown sons. We made it perfectly clear we didn't approve of “'living together,” or as you call it, “shacking up.”</p>
<p>At this point, only one son has a serious girlfriend to whom he will be proposing next May. His girlfriend was looking to move out and away from her father's controlling ways. She couldn't afford to live on her own, and our son did not invite her to live with him. She decided to stick it out with her father.</p>
<p>She was recently hired as a teacher with a local parochial school. She asked our son to tell me "Thank You". At first I was confused as to why. He said "The school asked her to sign a contract agreeing not to live with a man before she is married and is glad it was in your contract too." She now realizes how some life decisions can affect a person's future and is very grateful.</p>
<p>Dr. Laura, please continue with your mission!</p>
<p>Jo</p>
Staff
2012-08-03T21:32:00Z
Helping Push Children Out of the Nest
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Helping-Push-Children-Out-of-the-Nest/-536846546207536962.html
2012-08-02T20:42:00Z
2012-08-02T20:42:00Z
<p>When our first son was born in 1989, my husband would tell people that for his 18th birthday we were going to give him luggage.</p>
<p>In January 2011 our 22-year old son had one more year of post-secondary education to complete and our 19-year old was working full-time, and both were paying rent (more of a pittance). My husband and I sat down with them once a month beginning in 2011 to outline our expectations of them. We ordered in pizza or Chinese food to enjoy before beginning our meeting. My husband told them we would continue to support them living under our roof until July 2012, and by then both were to have found other living accommodations to advance their adult lives.</p>
<p>The younger one started checking out apartments in early 2012 and ultimately moved out in March. The oldest finished his education in May and began fulltime work in his chosen field one week later. He has requested an extra month under our roof and offered us $1,000 (up from the $150 we had allowed during his schooling). He has been looking for apartments using the internet, but I told him that nothing compares to actually looking at them in person. Both sons are realizing that nothing is as good as being 'in our basement', but I am enjoying seeing the maturity level increase, especially in the younger son. </p>
<p>I was concerned that our children would think we were throwing them out, but as the months went by, it became more of a fun game between my husband and me. I joked about hanging a large calendar on the kitchen wall and crossing out each day with a large X to act as a visual reminder that the countdown was on. Well, we didn't actually hang a countdown calendar and we never gave them luggage as birthday gifts, but I believe the relationship with my husband has strengthened because of our cohesive effort to do what is in our children's best interest. I stopped myself from making things too easy or comfortable for my oldest son in these last months.</p>
<p>I know I married an alpha male and I really love how smoothly this empty-nest transition is going. I think our children will be strong IF we <strong><em>expect</em></strong> them to be strong. I loved being a SAHM right from the beginning and nothing compared to witnessing all the changes they went through firsthand. As a mom, I could not turn our sons into men, but by allowing my husband to assume more of a male role during their teen years, I could not be more thrilled with the outcome.</p>
<p>Tick tock, tick tock...</p>
<p>Sandi</p>
Staff
2012-08-02T20:42:00Z
My Husband...The Love of My Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husband...The-Love-of-My-Life/-528809580915323772.html
2012-08-01T20:23:00Z
2012-08-01T20:23:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am a long time listener and fan. Last year was a year of great loss for me. My husband of 22 years passed away in April (complications of Leukemia), and my mother-in-law passed away in October at the age of 95. My friend also lost her husband in October and my nephew's father-in-law passed away shortly before Christmas.</p>
<p>I am very blessed to have had all these people in my life. My husband was a veterinarian and much loved in a community where he practiced for 40 years. The outpouring of support was (and is) amazing. What stuck with me most was how many people told me what a good man he was, not just how much they appreciated him as their veterinarian but how they appreciated him as a man.</p>
<p>When I read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" he told me I was already on the right track and that you helped with the fine tuning! When I asked him if he would swim through shark-infested waters to bring me a lemonade, he said he already had because we were both scuba divers! Then he looked at me and said, "Yes, and I'd go back for more ice!"</p>
<p>That was the man I married. I think I chose wisely and treated kindly. It was a privilege being married to him and I loved being his wife. He was a man of great wit and humor, intelligence, integrity, determination, compassion, concern… I could go on. I know I will miss him every day for the rest of my life. I'm hopeful the pain of loss will decrease. When I think of how he lived his life (he never said, "Why me?") it inspires me to live my life well. He made me a better person. I think we made each other better. I'm part of his legacy now and that will never change. I'll remember his wonderful sense of humor and smiling blue eyes and what he wanted most was for his wife to be happy.</p>
<p>Thank you for all you do Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>Nora</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2012-08-01T20:23:00Z
My Outlook On Life Has Changed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Outlook-On-Life-Has-Changed/586074088359218488.html
2012-07-31T19:22:00Z
2012-07-31T19:22:00Z
<p>Hi Dr Laura,<br /><br />My name is Ben, I called you for advice around Christmas time last year, because it seemed like no matter what I did right or well, my mom always put me down like I could have done better, or on her nice occasions, just spun my happiness into negativity. (The specific example was my miraculous acquisition of an A in College Algebra. She told me, "Well, that's because you finally decided to apply yourself.")<br /><br />You told me her negativity toward me was a reflection of her guilt as a parent, since my older bum of a brother turned out to be a loser. You said she likes him being a loser, and cuts me down because it assuages her parental guilt. You told me I should be proud of myself for my accomplishments, and realize my parents are flawed too, and now it's time to create my own life.<br /><br />This advice really changed my outlook on life. As long as I can remember up to that point, I had been working myself to the bone to gain my parents' approval. But the more I did well, the worse they felt about themselves. After I spoke to you I decided it was high time I was as proud of myself as you said you were of me! Now, with every accomplishment, while I still keep my parents informed, I give myself a pat on the back for surpassing everyone's expectations. (I guess success can be a good revenge, huh)? For my support and emotional needs I go to my closest friends who are happy and supportive. <br /><br />At 22 years of age as I move on into adulthood, you helped me to realize I would be spending (and wasting) a lifetime fighting for my parents' impossible approval, and that there are much more productive things I could be doing with my time.<br /><br />Thank you so much for helping me understand my situation from a whole new perspective, Dr Laura. And thank you for saying that you're proud of me.<br /><br />With love and gratitude,<br /><br />Ben</p>
Staff
2012-07-31T19:22:00Z
Presence in the Life of Those You Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Presence-in-the-Life-of-Those-You-Love/-200629087963793351.html
2012-07-30T20:04:00Z
2012-07-30T20:04:00Z
<p>My cousin's parents divorced when she was very young, and while she was visiting her dad over Thanksgiving, he drowned in a boating accident. She had an outpouring of sympathy from both sides of the family in the form of Christmas presents. She spent all of Christmas morning at my grandparents' house opening gift after gift after gift.</p>
<p>That year was very lean for our family. I remember my father sitting at the kitchen table, worrying about how he could come up with the money to buy his five children Christmas presents that year. He pulled it off. We all got something to open, though it was meager compared with previous years.</p>
<p>On Christmas Day, my cousin called me to tell me about all the presents she had opened. As she went on and on, I felt worse and worse. I held the phone away from my ear and cried to my parents that she was gloating over all of her gifts and I didn't get hardly anything. I felt sorry for myself.</p>
<p>My father put our different circumstances into perspective by saying, "She got all those presents because she lost her father. Which would you rather have: lots of Christmas presents or your Daddy?" Clearly, I would rather have my Daddy. I suddenly felt so sorry for her and counted myself incredibly blessed.</p>
<p>A few days later my father printed out a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson and put it in an old frame for me. It said, "Rings and jewels are not gifts, but apologies for gifts. The only true gift is a portion of thyself."</p>
<p>The quote stayed on my nightstand for many years as a reminder of my father's lesson: presence in the life of those you love is far more valuable than wrapped presents. It's been six years since his death. He was a good man and I miss him dearly. Even though there were times that he couldn't give us every tangible thing that we may have wanted, he always gave all of himself, which has been far more precious.</p>
<p>Aimee</p>
Staff
2012-07-30T20:04:00Z
Who Would Have Thought I Could Do THAT?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Who-Would-Have-Thought-I-Could-Do-THAT/-379461740089489130.html
2012-07-27T22:23:00Z
2012-07-27T22:23:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I was listening to the call from the woman who was a stay-at-home mom, but because of finances - and other reasons - she went looking for part-time work yet nothing was suiting her fancy. You told her it's not a good idea for many reasons, but you also told her that one of the main reasons she felt compelled to work was simply because she was bored.</p>
<p>Being a stay-at-home mom myself, I can certainly identify with that! Although I'm busy doing house chores, running errands and cooking, it's not exactly fun. It can be quite tedious and boring actually.</p>
<p>You told her she needed a hobby. You were 100% correct!</p>
<p>The hobby I decided to take up because I was getting bored? Cooking.</p>
<p>And while that may not seem like a huge deal...after all, I do that on a regular basis out of necessity... anyone who knows me personally would think this significant. When I first married my husband, I could cook all of three things and they came in boxes. Needless to say, the first year we were married before the kids came, and because we were both working full time, we ate out a lot.</p>
<p>However, now that I'm a full time mommy I DID NOT want to teach our children the bad habits my husband and I fell into, so I started to look up some easy recipes online.</p>
<p>Fast forward two years and I cook dinner every night, and at least four days a week I bake something.</p>
<p>I didn't cook all that much in the beginning because no one taught me and I never took the time to learn myself, but, just like with everything, it takes some practice and patience (A LOT of patience on my part as I remember some of my earlier experiments going straight from stove to trash), but the more I kept at it, the better cook I became. And now I actually look forward to cooking, whereas before I considered it just another chore that needed to be done.</p>
<p>My family used to joke with me on the holidays and playfully remind me to stay out of the kitchen. Now when I ask to help they are pleasantly surprised and are impressed that I seem to know what I'm doing!</p>
<p>My point is I took something that I originally really disliked, tackled it, and now really enjoy it! I love to see the look on my husband's face when he takes the first bite of a meal I prepared and I see the satisfied grin on his face.</p>
<p>Thanks for the motivation for taking up hobbies. I challenge people to take up something they didn't think they could do or would like to do. You would be surprised what you can accomplish when you put your mind to it.</p>
<p>Katherine</p>
Staff
2012-07-27T22:23:00Z
What Mothers Just Know
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Mothers-Just-Know/-816289246371318985.html
2012-07-26T21:52:00Z
2012-07-26T21:52:00Z
<p>I decided to share my story because I think it illustrates just how connected mothers can truly be to their children. I was 27 years old from California and living with my husband in China. It was New Year's Day. I had been up until the wee hours ringing in the new year with my colleagues and friends and was expecting to hear Happy New Year's tidings when I answered my mother's phone call. But no, that was not what happened.</p>
<p>I picked up the phone and my mother started going off on a rampage about how hurt she was. (Such phone calls were nothing new to me). Rolling my eyes and puffing back into the receiver, I asked my mother what I had done this time. "I have that feeling and I just know that you are pregnant and you haven't even shared the news with me and I am HURT that you would keep such a secret from your own mother," cried my mom over the line from 6 thousand miles away. Now, my mother has accused me of a LOT of ridiculous things over the years, but this time she had gone way too far. Why couldn't she be like other mothers? Why couldn't she just call and wish me a Happy New Year? I was not about to give her the satisfaction of being right for one moment. I had taken the call one too many times and I wasn't going to let her play her “pity party” out at my expense. I hung up the phone after telling her she was nuts and, "Happy New Year to you, too." Click.</p>
<p>The next moment I was slogging my way from my apartment to the nearest drug store through an icy, winter storm to find a pregnancy test so I could mail it to my mother as proof that she was crazy and to teach her a lesson about wrongly pointing the finger at me once and for all. As one might surmise, vindication was going to play hard to get, for somehow, ALL of the three Chinese at-home pregnancy tests that I purchased that day were duds! One after another showed two distinct pink lines which obviously meant that they were cheap and not working properly! I had no choice but to go back out into the cold and hail a taxi that could take me to the international market that carried feminine products from America.</p>
<p>Hours later, leaning against the bathroom sink with my head hanging low, a little "plus" sign smiled up at me from the Clear Blue Easy window. It was then, in my moment of utter defeat that I understood and accepted that I was going to be a parent. And looking back on it, I now accept that I too will likely go completely bonkers if and when my daughters grow up and move a half a world away from me. I hope with all my heart that when that time comes I will be like my mother and get that feeling when I just know...</p>
<p>Tazsa</p>
Staff
2012-07-26T21:52:00Z
What My Dad Taught Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-My-Dad-Taught-Me/826550221382296370.html
2012-07-25T20:18:00Z
2012-07-25T20:18:00Z
<p>I was sixteen or seventeen and learning to drive the car. To teach me, Dad (a doctor) had me drive him all over the county visiting his patients. (Though this was the 1960s, he still made house calls. Most of his patients were very old or ill with cancer, and lived in the country.)<br /><br />We lived in a house with a very steep driveway. There was a retaining wall on one side and big drop-off on the other, if you didn’t back down “just so,” you’d be in trouble. Guess what? I drove the station wagon backwards over the bank so that three of the wheels were down in the hole. There was enough car still on the driveway so that the tow truck could not drive around to pull it up from the front. At Dad's insistence, they looped the tow cable around a sturdy redwood tree in front of the car, hooked it to the bumper, and pulled from behind. Dad sat in the car and pushed on the accelerator until the car was safely back on the driveway.<br /><br />I was crying "I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!" the entire time, thinking I had destroyed the car and other dire thoughts.<br /><br />After the tow truck left, Dad said, "Let's go," and got in on the passenger side. I wailed, "I can't, I almost ruined the car! Please don't make me!" He said "Get in the car and back it down the driveway. When you fall off your horse you get back on again."<br /><br />There was no arguing with him. I backed the car down without incident, though my eyes felt like boiled eggs from crying so hard.<br /><br />To this day, I think about my dad when I back down that stinkin’ driveway. He gave me curiosity, strength of character, an ability to laugh at myself, and taught me how to channel being stubborn into the quality of sheer determination.<br /><br />Loesje</p>
Staff
2012-07-25T20:18:00Z
A Child Is A Reflection of His or Her Parents...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Child-Is-A-Reflection-of-His-or-Her-Parents.../-855561487119068228.html
2012-07-24T21:11:00Z
2012-07-24T21:11:00Z
<p>I am not a parent. I have never been married or had kids.</p>
<p>But I have worked with kids my entire career, and for some of that time, as a summer Camp Director. Any parents who don't think their children pick up their speech, mannerisms, ideas, likes/dislikes, prejudices, habits both good and bad, consider this:</p>
<p>Each summer for many years, I would help hire and then train our summer camp staff counselors. And each week, I did the fairly random job of assigning campers to a particular counselor for that week.</p>
<p>And then one day, midsummer, early on in my camping career, it occurred to me: By Wednesday I could ALWAYS tell exactly which camper was in which counselor's cabin SIMPLY by talking to or even observing the child's behavior. In just 3 days the youngsters had adopted the mannerisms, dress, speech patterns, and unique personality traits of their counselors. Three days! Three days of eating together, playing together, sleeping in the cabins together, hiking together, swimming together, doing crafts and Bible studies together, leading campfires together, all resulted in children that just wanted to be like their revered counselors.</p>
<p>Parents, spend time with your children! Not "quality" time. Quantity time is quality time. They desperately want to be like you, too. They will learn from someone - they want to learn from YOU. Time living life together will impact your child more than you can ever imagine. If, in just 5-6 days at a summer camp, your child comes back singing the praises of his/her camp counselor by imitating them on many levels, imagine what your whole life with them will do!</p>
<p>Patty</p>
Staff
2012-07-24T21:11:00Z
Cell Phones Create Unnecessary Drama
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cell-Phones-Create-Unnecessary-Drama/-717767707351680488.html
2012-07-23T19:38:00Z
2012-07-23T19:38:00Z
<p>We bought our daughter a cell phone for her 13th birthday. Thirteen seemed like the right age; she's mature, responsible and desires more of a social life. We established rules: Mother will check your text messages any time; the phone must be turned off and placed in the kitchen when you go to bed; no phone calls or texts from anyone who is not a personal friend.</p>
<p>At first, the text messages were fine. They consisted mostly of mundane exchanges with girlfriends, such as, "Hi, what are you doing?" "Nothing." She has a mutual crush on a boy and they were texting the same mundane lines to one another.</p>
<p>But imagine my surprise when I checked her phone to discover a message written by my daughter to said boy that mentioned something about "watching his cute butt." I explained this was inappropriate and watched as she texted the boy and said her mom had read her phone and she couldn't talk that way. I lectured her and said this would not be tolerated. She seemed remorseful and seemed to understand why this was unacceptable.</p>
<p>Fast-forward a few weeks: I received a phone call from the mother of the boy, who said she was concerned about the texting going on between the two kids. Her son also turns in his phone at night. She discovered the phone was missing when she awoke. Her son had sneaked the phone to his room and texted my daughter at 4 a.m. The two were texting such messages as, "Good morning, beautiful. It's time to wake up," and, "Hi, my little lover," and "I love you so much.”</p>
<p>When I checked my daughter's phone, I discovered she had erased the offending texts the other mom read to me. We agreed this is too much for these junior high kids and that both kids would be without a phone for a while. I am appreciative she called me.</p>
<p>Fast-forward again and today, I discovered the boy is using a friend's phone to text my daughter! My husband and I have decided my daughter won't have a phone at all. We debated putting more restrictions on her usage, blocking the boy's number, putting the phone in my name, etc., but concluded that the amount of navigation needed to ensure proper use was too time-consuming.</p>
<p>Parents: heed my advice! Do NOT let your junior-high kid have a cell phone. They text messages that they would never speak. My child only had a phone for a month and the drama that it brought to our home will linger for a long time.</p>
<p>Brooke</p>
Staff
2012-07-23T19:38:00Z
Just Because a Woman Can, Doesn't Mean She Must!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Just-Because-a-Woman-Can,-Doesnt-Mean-She-Must!/-49380326886410429.html
2012-07-20T21:26:00Z
2012-07-20T21:26:00Z
<p>I have been married to the love of my life for over 25 years. We have two sons, 24 and 22. My husband is in law enforcement which means he doesn't work 9 - 5 or have weekends and holidays off. He has worked the night shift the majority of his career so he has to sleep during the day, making him unavailable except on his days off.</p>
<p>We agreed before we were married that when we had children, I would stay home. I appreciated he was willing to work to support us, so I did everything I could to make sure he didn't have to worry about anything except coming home at the end of his shift. I took care of the children, the house, yard, money, food, appointments... Anything that came up, I handled it so he wouldn't have to. Out of necessity, I became very capable and he knows and appreciates this.</p>
<p>However, my husband still opens doors, opens jars and reaches for things off the top shelf for me. He carries in the groceries and totes heavy things whenever necessary. He helps with laundry and dishes when he sees the need. When we walk down the street, he walks closest to the street (in case of runaway horses). He is very chivalrous. This has rubbed off on my sons, as well. They have commented that several girls they have dated have trouble letting them open doors, carry things or help them with their jacket, etc.</p>
<p>Men are so different than women. They like to show off for their woman and to take care of them. It doesn't take anything away from OUR capabilities. If anything, it makes me feel better about my relationship, because it shows me he cares about me and my well-being, just like I care for him and take care of him by making his home life run smoothly.</p>
<p>And as my Grandma Sue says, "Just because a lady <strong>can</strong>, doesn't mean she must." I am quite capable of opening a difficult jar, but why should I when there is a big, strong man around to flex his muscles and make my life easier? And boy, doesn't he get all puffed up when I tell him how much I appreciate he can open the jar so much easier than I can.<br /><br />Thanks for all you do, Dr. Laura.</p>
<p>Terri</p>
Staff
2012-07-20T21:26:00Z
Floyd Rule Number One
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Floyd-Rule-Number-One/565584438213793209.html
2012-07-19T22:32:00Z
2012-07-19T22:32:00Z
<p>There is so very, very much to admire about my husband – he is a real MAN, a wonderful provider, a very hard worker, witty, the most intelligent person I have ever met, and he surely would swim through shark-infested waters to bring me a lemonade. He is patient (living with me requires a lot of patience), he is kind to people and animals, and he is also incredibly handsome.</p>
<p>What I admire most about him, however, is the lesson he taught me years ago. We call it “Floyd Rule Number One.” It is this:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"> <em>You can always get more money.</em><br /><em> You can never get more time.</em></p>
<p>Because we live by this rule, we are pretty doggone happy people. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? That’s because it is.</p>
<p>Don’t go around envying what others have and don’t constantly strive for more “toys.” Instead, spend that energy enjoying friends, family, and all the little (and big) things God has given you.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, for the opportunity to tell you about my husband. He is the best thing that ever happened to me.</p>
<p>Mary Ann</p>
Staff
2012-07-19T22:32:00Z
May One Day You Be Rewarded for Your Parenting
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/May-One-Day-You-Be-Rewarded-for-Your-Parenting/-98143986788671956.html
2012-07-18T21:36:00Z
2012-07-18T21:36:00Z
<p>Our son, Chris, was married this past weekend in Newport Beach, witnessed by 190 of our friends and family. He and his lovely bride (both 29) departed for their honeymoon to the Caribbean Monday night. On Tuesday, my husband and I received a package in the mail from our son. In it was a beautifully framed photo taken of the 3 of us last Wednesday at a family "kick-off" dinner for 5 days of wedding festivities. Attached to this gift was a thank you card with a personal note from our son written the day prior to the wedding.</p>
<p>I'm sending this to you because your listeners (and the world) need to know that if you "choose wisely, treat kindly" and work together to make your family your number-one priority, they, too, may someday be rewarded with a letter like this. It truly is "worth it": Quality in, quality out.<br /> <br />Kathy</p>
<p>Here’s the note:<br /><em>Dear Mom and Dad,</em></p>
<p><em>Although tomorrow I am marrying the woman I love, I know I would never be able to enjoy such happiness without wonderful parents. I owe this opportunity to start a great life to your love and support, and to the examples of how to live which you have provided to me for my entire life. I have felt nothing but love throughout this entire wedding process and I enter the final stage full of excitement for the future.</em></p>
<p><em>I realize this wonderful life full of love and support you gave me represents not only a privilege but also an obligation to carry on the high family standards that have been set by your example, and I enter this next phase of my life feeling eager and prepared.</em></p>
<p><em>Thank you for always being and continuing to be such wonderful parents.</em></p>
<p><em>Love,</em></p>
<p><em>Chris</em></p>
Staff
2012-07-18T21:36:00Z
Secrets of a Long Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Secrets-of-a-Long-Marriage/-628543223404030838.html
2012-07-17T19:27:00Z
2012-07-17T19:27:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have been listening to you since the beginning of your radio career. I wanted to write because I am dumbfounded by how easily couples divorce and families become fractured. There is an expectation in marriage that we will live happily ever after and if that doesn't happen, well, there's always divorce.</p>
<p>I am 55 years old and have been married for 35 years. I met my husband at 16 and married at 20. I would not recommend marrying this young to anyone, but it might interest you to hear what we have survived over the years.</p>
<p>Life was peachy until our son was about three and began exhibiting some disturbing symptoms. At six, our son was diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome, OCD and ADHD. It was during this time I began having multiple miscarriages. I dreamed of having a "normal" child. When I finally managed to maintain a pregnancy, our daughter was born with cerebral palsy, intellectual impairment and autism. Now I had two high-needs children to care for. The doctor bills started piling up and my husband worked his tail off to pay the bills. It seemed like years went by where we barely spoke. I distinctly remember driving down the street saying over and over again, "I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life."</p>
<p>Several things could have happened at this point. Either one of us could have asked for a divorce, had an affair, become alcoholics, taken drugs, abused each other or simply checked out. But that never occurred to either of us. The only option was to push through it. Life's not always fun and life's not fair.</p>
<p>But wait, there's more.</p>
<p>When our kids were in their teens things seemed to settle down a bit, or at least we had adapted to our challenges and learned to cope. Then I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. A couple years later, at age 47, my husband was diagnosed with cancer. He underwent two stem cell transplants and was sick for a year. During this time, our disabled daughter had severe, unremitting behavior problems. Then I was diagnosed with breast cancer.</p>
<p>Through it all, my husband and I never talked about separation or divorce. We haven't always liked each other, but we have always treated each other with consideration and respect. Early in our marriage we used to joke that "whoever wants the divorce, gets the kids". That kept us both in line because we recognized that it was going to take both of us to parent and raise our children and we needed each other.</p>
<p>So pardon me if I don't have much patience with couples today. Marriage should hold the expectation it will be filled with great joy AND great sorrow. A lifelong marriage will inevitably hold both.</p>
<p>Respectfully,</p>
<p>Jill</p>
<p>By the way, my therapy all these years has been knitting, weaving, spinning and beading. Great minds think alike!</p>
Staff
2012-07-17T19:27:00Z
You Loved Me Before You Knew Her
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Loved-Me-Before-You-Knew-Her/955271270238432505.html
2012-07-16T21:02:00Z
2012-07-16T21:02:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I've listened to you for years and my children have often heard your program on the radio in the car. I am divorced after 26 years of marriage. My ex-husband and a co-worker both got divorced and then married each other. I have four children, ages 20, 16, 13, and 8. My 16-year-old daughter, who has always been wise beyond her years, came to me the other day and said the following:</p>
<p><em>"If you wanted to spend as much time as possible with your children, why would you get a divorce?"</em></p>
<p>I was not surprised she had figured this out, but I was somewhat sad that she had. It has to hurt quite a bit to realize your father doesn't want to spend as much time as he can with you. I smiled warmly at her and told her Dr. Laura would be proud of her because she figured out something that lots of people never do.</p>
<p>After my husband moved out, I remember asking a friend who was also going through a divorce, but was farther along in the process than I, how could she live without having her children with her (meaning sleeping at her house) all the time. I couldn't imagine not having my children wake up on Christmas morning in the same house they'd lived in all their lives. Her answer was you learn to live with it. Well, three years later, I've learned to live with it, but the pain doesn't go away...not for me and not for my kids.</p>
<p><br />They tell me their dad is primarily concerned with pleasing his new wife and they come in a distant second. That has pained them beyond words. My 13-year-old said she wanted to tell her dad, <strong>"You loved me before you even knew her." </strong>I hope any of your listeners/readers who have children and are contemplating divorce think really hard about that comment. I have promised my kids I will not remarry or even date while they're still at home. I have no desire to, but even if I did, I couldn't think using any of my precious time and energy on someone other than my kids. That's the security they need.</p>
<p>Thank you for all you do.</p>
<p>Betty</p>
Staff
2012-07-16T21:02:00Z
Recipe for a Military Wife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Recipe-for-a-Military-Wife/-590833465579846516.html
2012-07-13T20:22:00Z
2012-07-13T20:22:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have been a listener for quite some time and always enjoy your show. I actually called in about 10 years ago while you were at Travis Air Force Base. I was the Army Recruiting Station Commander who spoke to you about "Talking to Moms".</p>
<p>Anyway, I am an old paratrooper myself; I was with the 82nd Airborne and later the Recruiting Command. I have been with my wonderful wife for 15 years now and she has stood by me during part of my army career and later through my retirement. I am currently a professional farrier (horseshoer) and she still worries about me.</p>
<p>I found this "recipe" and thought you might want to share it. It fits my wife as well as any wife who has a real man in her life. Thank you for all you do.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Recipe for a Military Wife</strong> (author unknown)</p>
<p><em>1 1/2 Cups Patience</em><br /><em>2 Tablespoons elbow grease</em><br /><em>1 Pound courage</em><br /><em>1 Cup tolerance</em><br /><em>and a Dash of adventure</em></p>
<p><em>Marinate frequently with salty tears, and pour off excess fat. </em><br /><em>Sprinkle ever so lightly with money, kneading dough well until payday. </em><br /><em>Season with international spices. </em><br /><em>Bake for twenty years or until done. </em><br /><em>Serve with pride!</em></p>
<p>Here's to all military wives, past, present, and future.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Brian<br />First Sergeant<br />U.S. Army (ret.)</p>
Staff
2012-07-13T20:22:00Z
I Chose Well, But I Had No Idea HOW Well
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Chose-Well,-But-I-Had-No-Idea-HOW-Well/-215336740747891590.html
2012-07-12T20:21:00Z
2012-07-12T20:21:00Z
<p>He just left for his fifth tour to Afghanistan. He (almost!) finished my entire “honey-do” list before leaving. He left notes all over the house for me and our two daughters. He makes every effort to find a phone or Internet connection to call us throughout each deployment. He mails letters home. He took a stuffed horse with my daughter's voice recording in it (sticking out of his rucksack, the guys in his unit must have been very entertained) and is taking pictures of all of the places "Horsey" is going with him.</p>
<p>After 10 years of marriage, he is a more amazing man than the one I married because he WORKS at loving. He learns from his mistakes and makes positive changes because of them. He brags about me and our kids behind my back and in front of me. And he teaches me without "teaching.”</p>
<p>Hard to admire something more than the fact he's willing to defend our country over and over, but what do I admire MOST? That he can do that and do it well, while making me feel like the kids and I are his #1 priority.</p>
<p>I chose well, but I had no idea HOW well. What a lucky girl I am.<br /><br />Kelly</p>
Staff
2012-07-12T20:21:00Z
Life Is Too Short to be Bitter
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Life-Is-Too-Short-to-be-Bitter/-9818681412644223.html
2012-07-11T22:24:00Z
2012-07-11T22:24:00Z
<p>I am 54-years-old and married for 31 years. I have become very bitter to my husband over things that have happened throughout the years.</p>
<p>This last year has been really bad, so I went to buy your book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands," but did not buy it -- instead the more I read it, the madder I got. I thought: How come he isn't making the effort...Why do I have to, after all the things he's done to me and the marriage? I just really didn't care anymore. Then he called me one day, and asked me to go away for a night to spend some time together and my heart skipped a beat and I realized we still had that “thing.” And even though we ended up not going, I knew our feelings were not dead.</p>
<p>Two weeks ago, I was planning a trip to visit my sons and decided to buy your book to read during my trip. I left on Monday and my husband was coming to join us on Thursday. I started reading Monday night and by Thursday was a new person. I took your advice and by Friday night (after an intimate encounter with my husband), he was saying things to me like: “Where have you been? This is the Kathy I fell in love with…” He has been so different to me…more loving and caring in every way.</p>
<p>We wives really do have the power.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr Laura. Life is too short to be bitter - I'm done with that. I like how he looks at me and wonders what got into me. I took him a cup of coffee in bed this morning and he invited me to meet for lunch later. See, it really works. We have each other, and I plan to make the most of that. We are very lucky.</p>
<p>Thanks</p>
<p>Kathy</p>
Staff
2012-07-11T22:24:00Z
If I Could Do Anything for One Day
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/If-I-Could-Do-Anything-for-One-Day/92646108998657745.html
2012-07-10T18:05:00Z
2012-07-10T18:05:00Z
<p>I am a 48 year old mother of two wonderful teenagers, 17 and 19. I work full time now after 18 years of being a stay-at-home mom. If I could do anything for just one day, I would go back in time to a summer day when my kids were young and I was home with them.</p>
<p>I miss just spending time with them, talking to them, being with them, the smell of them. For one more day, I would hold their hands when we go for a walk. For one more day I would sit on the couch with their heads on my lap, play with their hair and watch a Disney movie. We would dig holes in the sand, build enormous Lego spaceships, swing on the swings and at night, I would read them some books, tuck them in like a "papoose", cuddle with them, tickle them and kiss them goodnight.</p>
<p>My kids are teenagers now, so when they hold my hand, it's in "secret" for fear their friends will see them. Disney has been replaced by homework and friends. They don't dig holes in the sand anymore; they would rather boogie board at the beach. The Legos are sitting up in our attic. I no longer read to them, as they read their own books, and they usually go to bed after I do, so there is no tucking in (although there is always a kiss goodnight).</p>
<p>I appreciate that my little babies have blossomed into kind and caring young adults, and I know they still love me and need me. Sometimes I miss them so much it hurts.</p>
<p>One day to do anything...that is my wish - that is what I would do. I do realize though, that in about 10-15 years, I will get to do this with my grandchildren. This makes my heart sing!</p>
<p>Yet, I would still give anything for that ONE more day!</p>
<p>Marie</p>
Staff
2012-07-10T18:05:00Z
I Want My Home to Smell like Sunday Dinner
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Want-My-Home-to-Smell-like-Sunday-Dinner/459212204832163033.html
2012-07-09T20:13:00Z
2012-07-09T20:13:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I always want to write to you but never know quite how to put what I'm thinking into words, so I hope this will make sense.</p>
<p>I started thinking about my favorite smell and realized how much scent says about a home.</p>
<p>I took piano lessons from a nice elderly woman for a couple of years when I was about 8. Her home always felt so comfortable and homey to me. I remember her house always smelled a little bit like a Sunday dinner, a nice “roast and vegetables cooking” kind of smell.</p>
<p>My mom hated it. She hated it when homes "smelled". She would often comment about the way we smelled when we came home from friends’ houses. She looked down on people whose homes had a smell. Frequently, we weren't allowed to cook because it would make the house smell like a certain food. I remember once when I burned some popcorn in the microwave, and I was in serious trouble for making the house smell. It was so important to her that our house never smell, in a snobbish sort of way.</p>
<p>There was nothing really homey about our house (including the constant tension created by my parents’ fighting and yelling) and consequently, we didn't want to be there. Our house was never really a great place to hang out with friends, either. She put so much effort into ensuring that our house never smelled to impress people that, ironically, people never wanted to be there.</p>
<p>Now I am a stay-at-home mom with a 5 year old son, 3 year old daughter, and six month old baby boy. I enjoy cooking delicious meals. I love it when my husband comes home and says "All right! Meat loaf tonight!" because he can smell it when he walks in the door. If people come over and the scent of dinner or homemade banana bread is still lingering, they usually just comment about how delicious it smells. Maybe my house has a little bit of a funny smell that I'm sure my mom would have detested, but I love it. My kids love it. My husband loves it. My house is a homey house. I always want my house to smell like there is good food in the oven!</p>
<p>Thank you for all that you do! You have helped me be a great wife and mother.</p>
<p>Candiss</p>
<p>P.S. My mother's home is still scent free, but it's also grandchild free most of the time (two out of five kids have no relationship with my parents anymore). You reap what you sow I guess.</p>
Staff
2012-07-09T20:13:00Z
Sneaking a Peek
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sneaking-a-Peek/-282402782256081864.html
2012-07-06T17:09:00Z
2012-07-06T17:09:00Z
<p>I'm writing regarding the topic on chivalry. Perhaps it is because I live in Houston/Pasadena, Texas, but chivalry is STILL the norm rather than the exception, although I will say it's fading.</p>
<p>Something happened last week to renew my faith in today's young men. I workout at a popular gym chain, and the way this gym is set up, a glass wall separates the weight machines/barbell areas on one side from the basketball court on the other. It's nice that you can see the basketball scrimmages, but it does have its pitfalls, as I found out.</p>
<p>I was by the weight benches, working out with some small barbells. I was bent over, doing curls, and I noticed the high school boys rushing over to the wall, bending over a gym bag, rummaging through it, then glancing at me before rushing back to the court. I also noticed they did not put anything IN the bag, or take anything out of it. I thought it was peculiar, but blew it off...until I felt a tap on my shoulder.</p>
<p>One of the weightlifters, about mid-to-late 20s, informed me as politely as he could... "Ma'am, I don't want to embarrass you or offend you, but those boys are sneaking a peek." Me, clueless, said, "At what?" He looked very sheepish and blushed as he said, "Um..." and nodded at my chest. Huh? "When you bend over..." Oh. I bent over and looked down... OOOOh! I get it now. I looked at the very embarrassed young man in front of me and replied, "Thank you for letting me know. Wow. Who knew 48 year old boobies were that fascinating?" He laughed and said, "If you like I can stand between you and the wall...with my back to you of course, while you finish your workout."</p>
<p>I will never forget the looks on those boys' faces when they dashed over to 'get something out of their bag' and were met with a glowering behemoth of a protective young man.</p>
<p>Michelle</p>
Staff
2012-07-06T17:09:00Z
Women - Let Him Be a Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Women---Let-Him-Be-a-Man/862344581163482639.html
2012-07-03T17:02:00Z
2012-07-03T17:02:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am a mother of 5 sons. I and their dad raised them to be real men and treat women with respect and this includes chivalry. When I read your question "Why do you think men no longer display acts of chivalry" I thought to myself, not my sons! But then recalled a couple of talks I had with them about women they date/dated and the wives some have married. When I first heard my sons say "Mom, girls today don't like it when you open doors for them or treat them like ladies." I thought what have women become in today's world?? Morons!! The dictionary states a moron is a person who is notably stupid or lacking in good judgment and this is what women have become.</p>
<p>One son stated he opened a door to the restaurant and the female date yelled at him for doing so. He never again went out with her. THANK GOD! <br /><br />There are more instances to prove why men are lacking in chivalry today, but I think it's because women today brought into the thought that it is a sign of weakness to women for a man to care for a woman like a lady. I told my son the next time a female states she can do it herself; just to remember which person is smarter: The person that can do it themselves and does it OR the person that can do it yet allows another to do it out of respect for them.</p>
<p>Women if you truly want a real man...then let him be one!</p>
<p>Just my thoughts,</p>
<p>Ann</p>
Staff
2012-07-03T17:02:00Z
Chivalry is Dead? Not in MY House
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Chivalry-is-Dead-Not-in-MY-House/9726967945927136.html
2012-07-02T16:53:00Z
2012-07-02T16:53:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Because your recent topic was chivalry, I knew I had to share my amazing husband with you. We started dating when he was only 22, when most men are really boys and not mature in their ways. Until him, I had not experienced chivalry in a relationship. He always came and picked me up for dates, came inside and spoke to my parents with respect, opened my car door (and still does), pulled out my chair at restaurants, walks on the outside of the sidewalk, and so on. He respectfully asked my dad for my hand in marriage, and continues to be chivalrous to this day. When I get home from work, he greets me at the door if he is already home, takes my purse and all my belongings, so I don't have to be burdened. He is ALWAYS doing things to make my life easier.</p>
<p>I attribute this to his dad, who is a very manly man, who taught him to work hard, be a good person, and really know how to be a man (work on cars, shoot guns, treat people with respect, be able to defend himself and his family).</p>
<p>We listen to you together regularly, and you encourage me to be a sweet, loving wife, and ALLOW my man to be chivalrous. Men and women are not equal and gender lines get blurred because of the feminist world we live in.</p>
<p>Thank you for sharing your wisdom, and encouraging me to be a wife who allows her husband to be a real man and not emasculate him. Chivalry may be dead elsewhere, but not in my house.</p>
<p>Erin</p>
Staff
2012-07-02T16:53:00Z
Tonight's Journal Entry
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Tonights-Journal-Entry/982236505456323104.html
2012-06-29T20:01:00Z
2012-06-29T20:01:00Z
<p>Dearest Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>(I just copied tonight's journal entry into an email to my husband. I hope he “gets it”):</p>
<p><br />I'm thankful for my husband: for his willingness and determination to provide so that I can be at home - to be a MOM. The boys have been very sick to their stomachs. It's been quite the tiresome adventure (sparing the details). In the midst of the least pleasant tasks I've faced in the last few days, I've been struck by how blessed I am. The fact that I'm with the kids, to comfort them, to enjoy them, and even to perform the nastiest of tasks they require is SUCH a PROFOUND BLESSING. It is a challenge- no question. But even when it comes to the hard stuff, I wouldn't skip it. It surprises me how much I mean that. It is MY job- -no one else's-- and I'm so truly honored to do it.</p>
<p>I'm often tired… and dirty… and, frankly, grossed-out. But I love that I'm able to do it. I love that I'm here with them, living side by side through the adventures and struggles. I love that I don't need to worry about arranging to miss work when "they need me" (don't they ALWAYS need me?) or when they get sick. I love that they expect ME to take care of whatever comes up- because I will--because I DO-- because I am their MOM. It's an immeasurable gift. No worries about getting shorted on a paycheck in order to be with them. No competing priorities or concerns. I am their MOM, and hubby makes that possible. He is my ANGEL, my JOY, my HOPE, my LOVE. He is my MAN!! Oh how I love him for this!!</p>
<p>Donna</p>
Staff
2012-06-29T20:01:00Z
A Most Important Job
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Most-Important-Job/220629186333403518.html
2012-06-28T21:26:00Z
2012-06-28T21:26:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have been a stay-at-home mom for 14 years. I have worked part time recently, but do not work between June and September when the kids are home.</p>
<p>Years ago, I worked at a day care center. Parents would stroll in with their sweats on like they just got back from the gym, and complain because the TV was on. Some of these parents were teachers, and I know they would get off work at 4:00 but they would still squeeze in a trip to the gym and pick up their little one at 6:00. One woman said to her son, "Where do you want to eat dinner tonight: McDonalds or Denny's?" No home-cooked meal there.</p>
<p>She could have picked up her little one and cooked dinner, then gone out for a walk after dinner with her son so they could both get their exercise. It blew me away and solidified the decision for me to stay at home.</p>
<p>The other thing I saw at the day care center was the high turnover rate of employees. One 20 year old guy called in to tell us he was going to be late to work because he had a meeting with his probation officer. No kidding!</p>
<p>Please also tell moms who are at home they can join a mom's group in their area and make new friends (for them and their kids). My saving grace was a weekly (or twice a month) gathering made up of stay-at-home moms and older women. They met at a church and swapped recipes, listened to guest speakers, had spa day, favorite things day, etc. It was there the older moms said we younger moms had the most important job right now. They validated our decision to stay home. They also said this was a season of our lives and that one day, our kids would be up and grown just like theirs. This helped me know I was doing the right thing for now and that I could work fulltime when the kids were grown.</p>
<p>Thanks again for supporting us moms! We love you.</p>
<p>Happy to be home with my kids,</p>
<p>Irma</p>
Staff
2012-06-28T21:26:00Z
Choosing the Right Man...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Choosing-the-Right-Man.../-412556271635458438.html
2012-06-27T18:29:00Z
2012-06-27T18:29:00Z
<p>Last week, a young woman called in saying she chose a man who lived with his mommy. Then after she moved in with him, she realized she had made a terrible mistake. You let her have it, and then as usual…gave her your wonderful wisdom. It made me think of my own choices in life, and I just wanted to let her know the right way is usually the hard way, but it's worth it.</p>
<p>I am just about to turn 50, and for the first time in my life have a wonderful man whom I plan to marry. I was engaged in my 20's, before I had a chance to marry him, my mom was diagnosed with a terrible autoimmune disease and I chose to move back to her home and help her. I basically went to work, took her for dialysis, cleaned her home, and put my personal life to the side. Needless to say, my fiancé wasn't the man I thought he was or could be. He wasn't there for me, so I ended the relationship.</p>
<p>I dated through the years, but always ended it after someone proved to me I deserved better. Two years ago, I connected with someone I went to high school with. We are so happy. I may have waited a long time, but he was worth it. Most of my friends, who used to tell me I was too picky, weren't as choosy and aren't as happy, or are miserable, or divorced.</p>
<p>Choose wisely, young woman. Your happiness depends on it.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura. I absolutely love you.</p>
<p>Tisha</p>
Staff
2012-06-27T18:29:00Z
Take Time to Smell The...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Take-Time-to-Smell-The.../905297121298580356.html
2012-06-26T20:54:00Z
2012-06-26T20:54:00Z
<p>I realized at about the age of 40 that time seemed to be slipping away, and my memory of my years with my sweet family seemed fuzzy, like I wasn't really there! I think maybe I often wasn't, because I was too busy worrying about or planning the future (whether 1 year or 5 minutes into the future) and often wasn't fully, mentally with those I love.</p>
<p>Though the expression "live in the moment" sometimes seems trite, when I feel the feeling of "it's slipping away," the quickest way I am able to fully enter the moment is to breathe in deeply and smell. I do this often at the end of a happy day when I put my daughter to bed. She's almost fully grown, but she has autism, so it is still a "mommy/daddy/daughter" sweet, happy routine. When I kiss her goodnight, I put my nose in the crook of her neck or in her hair and sniff deeply. And boy, even if she's a little clammy from a long, busy day, it is one of the most delightful smells that pulls me deeply into the emotion of my deep love for her.</p>
<p>I often do this at night when I go to bed, too. My husband is almost always sound asleep before I am, so while trying to get comfortable, I put my nose into the crook of his neck or his hair and take a deep whiff. It's amazing the depth of emotion that enters my brain, heart and whole body with that fragrance. It's like every memory we ever shared is in the smell of him. So I often think with a smile to myself, 'Never mind taking time to smell the roses--take time to smell the people you love.'</p>
<p>Nanette</p>
Staff
2012-06-26T20:54:00Z
Thank You, Dear Sweet Husband...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You,-Dear-Sweet-Husband.../339239468502866593.html
2012-06-25T21:14:00Z
2012-06-25T21:14:00Z
<p>Yesterday, I went to my husband's company picnic. I want to mention it was at least 95 degrees and I'm twenty weeks’ pregnant. Don't worry, we didn't forget the sunblock!</p>
<p>Afterward, I sent this email to my husband and wanted to share it with you…</p>
<blockquote>
<p>"Here is a list of the things you did yesterday:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">- You invited me to your company picnic and even offered that I stay home because it was hot outside.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">- When I got there, you immediately took our son and played with him while giving me an opportunity to get to know some of your co-workers.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">- You made a plate of food for me and our son.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">- When I was thirsty and there wasn't any water, you immediately decided to go and get some, which I offered to do myself so you wouldn't have to leave the picnic and then you took over watching our son while I was gone.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">- You came and got the water because it was too heavy for me to carry.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">- You were openly proud of and bragged about me and our son to anyone who would listen.</p>
<p>....I'm sure there were other things, but my whole point is that you're an awesome husband and father and I love you very much. I just didn't want yesterday to go unrecorded or unrecognized because you were awesome (did I say that already?)"</p>
</blockquote>
<p>He hasn't emailed back yet but something tells me he won't be disappointed after reading that.<br /> <br />Katherine</p>
Staff
2012-06-25T21:14:00Z
If You Don't Put in the Effort, Someone Else Will
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/If-You-Dont-Put-in-the-Effort,-Someone-Else-Will/74456582424620093.html
2012-06-22T18:52:00Z
2012-06-22T18:52:00Z
<p>I flirt shamelessly and do "the marital fondle" during the day. Then at night, I make sure I'm available. If I don't feel like it, I remember all the things he does for me that he probably doesn't feel like doing and I might do the whole thing with a “little extra” for fun.</p>
<p>I also make sure I'm fresh, smooth and smell good. He thinks I'm wonderful and I intend that he continues to think so. I tell him, "No girls" when he leaves, assuming that they all want him. He laughs at me, but he likes it. I'm in my 50's and am someone else now, for had I taken such good care of my first husband, maybe he wouldn't have found someone else and left me with 2 small kids to raise.</p>
<p>You women in your 20's, listen up. If you have a good one, put some effort in. If you don't, someone else will!</p>
<p>Debra<br /><br />(By the way, regarding my first marriage, he married her and she got 3 kids out of him. She then dumped him and continues to drag him to court for more and more money. I feel like I lost my kids' dad for nothing.)</p>
Staff
2012-06-22T18:52:00Z
Saying 'Yes' Rather Than 'No'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Saying-Yes-Rather-Than-No/728703549569147802.html
2012-06-21T22:36:00Z
2012-06-21T22:36:00Z
<p>I am 45 years old, have been menopausal a few years, am still in good shape (5'5", 133 lbs) and am so fortunate to have a man who loves and appreciates me for exactly who and what I am. He tells me not to change a thing, not even to tweeze the errant hairs I get sometimes. He also tells me that every mile he runs is so he can stay in shape to please me. This unconditional love feeds my desire for him.</p>
<p>I also follow the Dr Laura “guideline” of saying yes rather than no, and I'm soooo glad I do - every single time! It's energizing, intimate and loving - who wouldn't want more of that in their life?</p>
<p>Remember ladies, that in marriage, you are his ONLY source of sexual intimacy, and a man NEEDS his woman. If you deprive him of that aspect of life, it is truly a waste of a very good thing! And in my mind, he'd have every right to leave you and go find his satisfaction elsewhere. A sexless life is no life at all.</p>
<p>We draw very few boundaries in the bedroom...it is a place where I am free to be his total woman, and he to be my total man. What a wonderful life!</p>
<p>Kathie</p>
Staff
2012-06-21T22:36:00Z
Each Morning I Choose to be In Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Each-Morning-I-Choose-to-be-In-Love/-844146040867752071.html
2012-06-20T19:53:00Z
2012-06-20T19:53:00Z
<p>Greetings Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Here’s how we keep "sizzle" in the bedroom:</p>
<p>After 16 years of marriage, many things contribute to sexual excitement. First of all, my wife is hot!! In addition to the natural attraction, we do things to encourage intimacy. We touch each other frequently throughout the day: a gentle hug, a sweet (non-sexual) kiss, plenty of "I love you" comments, doing things to "honor" each other daily. To honor means to "highly value" and we both think of small ways that can be done each day - I make her coffee even though I don't drink it. She makes me lunch each day, and I drive home to enjoy it and her. I put her toothbrush and toothpaste on the counter. She sets a piece of fruit out for me to take to work and snack on mid-morning. I make the bed or start a load of wash when she least expects it. You get the idea - we do for each other.</p>
<p>I get excited when I see my wife in some state of undress or if she is seducing me. She needs the emotional connection all day long to kindle the fire of desire. Then we simply have fun and enjoy each other in intimate ways! It works for us! We hear comments all the time from people who say it is obvious we are still very much in love. Well, we are because we get up each morning and choose to be in love! I have to tell you, it is easy to love my sweet bride. I am one lucky man!</p>
<p>Scott</p>
Staff
2012-06-20T19:53:00Z
How Do I Make Love to Thee? Let Me Count the Ways...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Do-I-Make-Love-to-Thee-Let-Me-Count-the-Ways.../263103178578873240.html
2012-06-19T22:39:00Z
2012-06-19T22:39:00Z
<p>Ways I keep the sizzle in my marriage:</p>
<p>1) Pop into the shower with him.<br />2) Pose on the hood of the car in my underwear after our kid goes to bed.<br />3) Make his favorite dinners.<br />4) Greet him with "Hi, Handsome!" when he comes home from work, and ask about his day.<br />5) Reach for the 'nether' parts when snuggling in bed.<br />6) Find ways to love his mother.</p>
<p>My prince is 56, I am 54. Our son graduated from high school last week (and is on his way to college), and we just celebrated our 27th anniversary!</p>
<p>By the way, I married my husband a month before my 27th birthday. I am so glad I waited!</p>
<p>Jean</p>
Staff
2012-06-19T22:39:00Z
Making Our Intimate Relationship Better
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Our-Intimate-Relationship-Better/624566341115673759.html
2012-06-18T19:57:00Z
2012-06-18T19:57:00Z
<p>My husband and I have been married for 11 years, and we have 2 boys ages 9 1/2 and 8. When they were young, our sex life was practically nonexistent, which was a major change from before we had children. My husband didn't complain, but I know he wasn't very happy.... And I was just too tired.</p>
<p>I've listened to you for 16 years and slowly, but surely put your ideas and suggestions into use. “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” really opened my eyes and made me re-adjust my thinking. First, I took advantage of the days when we were alone at home with the boys at school, finding mid-day romps fun and energizing. We also realized that by waiting until we went to bed at 11 pm or later to fool around was a HUGE mistake - we were often too tired or not in the mood, and if we were, let's just say the quality was lacking on my end, although no fault of my husband.</p>
<p>Our solution? We head back to our room after we know the boys are asleep and fool around. We are able to devote our full attention and energy on pleasing each other and enjoying the intimacy. Over the last couple of years of doing this, our sex life and relationship have never been better.</p>
<p>Our bodies are very much in tune and I know I find my body responds in ways I didn't know it could.</p>
<p>Like many people right now, we are struggling financially, but we still make our relationship the most important thing and I know we can weather any storm. Our intimate relationship is a major factor in the strength of our marriage. I wish all marriages could experience something similar.</p>
<p>Thanks,</p>
<p>Mandy</p>
Staff
2012-06-18T19:57:00Z
A Tribute to My Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Tribute-to-My-Dad/-381371162273125041.html
2012-06-15T20:51:00Z
2012-06-15T20:51:00Z
<p>My Dad was an amazing man. In the 1950s, he had 3 small children and a marriage that was headed for divorce. He did something which is common today, but not then. He convinced a judge he could take better care of us than our mother could.</p>
<p>Those early years were not easy, but he had a lot of love and help from his mother and his brothers and sisters. I am lucky to be in the family I am. All of my aunts and uncles have had a small part in raising my 2 brothers and me. One funny thing, that is told about Dad, was when I was little he would try to curl my hair -- remember bobby pins? He would wrap the hair around his finger and when he removed his finger, the hair would come with it. I must have been a lot of trouble then.</p>
<p>When I was 7, we moved to small town in South Dakota. When he saw the little town, he said that if he had the money, he would have turned around and headed back to Missouri. But my Dad was not the type to turn around and quit. Shortly after we arrived, there was a BIG snowstorm and he had 3 small children and no boots or winter clothes. But we stuck it out and had many happy years in that small town.</p>
<p>Even though Dad was our parent, he made our family a unit. He didn't go fishing with his buddies; he took his 3 children fishing. He took his sons hunting when they were old enough. We had many good times in those growing-up years.</p>
<p>Another thing Dad was not afraid to do was talk to us about growing up. One day I asked Dad a "woman question" and he sat with me and answered my questions and explained the facts of life. I've talked to girlfriends who didn't even have that discussion with their mother.</p>
<p>Through the years, Dad had lady friends but he never married them. He explained years later that his women friends would never treat us as well as they treated their own kids, and that was why he would never get married. After we were on our own, he did get married. Dad became a father to her kids and a grandfather to their kids. His wife said with amazement how he talked to her grandkids and helped them through their lives. He was able to give them the advice that helped them during their teenage years.</p>
<p>I also see an extension of Dad through his sons. Both my brothers had children. I see the parent/child relationship between them. It is a good relationship and that was what my Dad was all about.</p>
<p>Dr. Laura. I loved my Dad. This was the eulogy read at his funeral. I was determined not to cry while I was reading this, and I didn't. Doing a eulogy helped me to deal with his death. He died at the age of 74 in March 1975. I hope you will give him this tribute as Father's Day approaches</p>
<p>Gayla</p>
Staff
2012-06-15T20:51:00Z
Dads Are So Important
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dads-Are-So-Important/466573578093840417.html
2012-06-14T20:23:00Z
2012-06-14T20:23:00Z
<p>After I drove my older boy to his school, my 10-year-old son and I arrived together for his 4th grade awards ceremony and graduation. He went to his home room; I went to wait in the cafeteria. His dad, who is a career military dude for the past 25 years in the National Guard full-time was going to try to be there, but hadn't shown up yet. We didn't tell our boy Dad would definitely be there, because the military can sometimes change the best-made plans.</p>
<p>The 4th graders in our area move on to a 5th and 6th grade school, so this day is a very big one, since elementary school is over. The 4th grade kids parade through the school and are given final farewells and applause in the halls by their underclassmen.</p>
<p>By the time the kids entered the cafeteria, Dad had shown up. In the cafeteria, all the kids sit together away from the crowd of parents. During the ceremony, the kids are called up to the stage to receive any award they have earned. When my son went up, he held his award awkwardly, at first. He looked a little like a nervous deer and I could see he could not find us. He's a very good student so he received several awards, but the big moment was coming… The "You are now a 5th grader award." I leaned into my husband, and I said "I think we need a 'Hoo-ah.' Our little one is not looking as confident as he should. He has stage fright."</p>
<p>Our son's name was called and as he made his way up to the stage my husband with a loud military tone projected a steady "HOOAAHHH!" with the end of the Hoo-ah turning up, like I have heard in the movies. My little one at first kind of jumped in surprise, and then realized that was his dad, letting him know he was out in the crowd and very proud. When our boy went up to the podium to get his final packet, his eyes beamed and he was smiling from ear to ear with pride on stage. His dad was there and everyone else knew it, too!</p>
<p>I love my boys and my husband. Although I spend many more hours a day with my boys, that one "Hoo-ah" from Dad at just the right time really changed his day and probably his life! I could have never accomplished this turn from awkward embarrassment and stage fright to pride and self-confidence with only one word. Dads are special and so very needed.</p>
<p>Thank you,</p>
<p>A proud mom and wife!</p>
<p>Cara</p>
Staff
2012-06-14T20:23:00Z
My Priorities Shifted
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Priorities-Shifted/974925781453797018.html
2012-06-13T22:28:00Z
2012-06-13T22:28:00Z
<p>A traumatic experience that rerouted my life happened while I was in my late 20s. On our way to celebrate our engagement, my fiancé and I were hit head on by a reckless driver, and over the next 2 hours, as I watched the first responders try to cut him from the vehicle and save his life, I witnessed the death of the person I'd intended to spend the rest of my life loving and adoring.</p>
<p>I'm a strong-willed, independent woman. And so it took me 18 months to figure out that I needed some help. I could barely leave my apartment or be around other people. I wasn't able to sleep because of the recurring nightmares. My moment of clarity occurred while I was standing on the corner, waiting to cross the street and got cat-called by someone in a passing car. Perhaps I should have been flattered, but I was ready to drag that person from the car and beat them senseless, it made me so angry. Yes, all 115 pounds of me. I realized at that moment I wasn't sure I trusted myself and that wasn't OK. I immediately called the University counseling service when I reached my office that day.</p>
<p>A wonderful MD/PhD who specialized in PTSD with war veterans turned out to be the help I needed. He worked with me for 2 years and helped me get things under control. It has taken many more years to regain most of what I'd call a "normal" life. It took a very long time to get OK with getting attached to someone again, but I eventually married a wonderful man whom I adore and we have enjoyed many adventures together.</p>
<p>I'd be lying if I said there are no challenging remnants of my experience. It's hard to be a passenger in a car. I still have anxiety at times about leaving my house even for the day, but it doesn't keep me from leaving anymore! That's huge. I don't have children - partly because I was in my late 30s when my husband and I married, but also because the idea of losing a child scared me witless. But I'm a great aunt to my niece and nephew.</p>
<p>On the flip side, there is not a day that passes I don't consciously enjoy the sunshine, the rain, the flowers or a good book. I am also keenly aware each day that every experience I have with each person is a gift.</p>
<p>Yes, the way I see the world and my priorities are certainly different - more time for just "being" instead of go-go-go all the time. I may have another 45 years on this blue planet, or I may have 45 days. Either way, I plan to enjoy them.</p>
<p>Sue</p>
Staff
2012-06-13T22:28:00Z
Positive Effects on the Brain
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Positive-Effects-on-the-Brain/-822041287391830919.html
2012-06-12T21:09:00Z
2012-06-12T21:09:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura-</p>
<p>I appreciate your wisdom and advice to callers, especially when you stress to others the importance of staying fit and healthy.</p>
<p>When I was 20, I suffered from severe, debilitating panic attacks, depression, and agoraphobia. I had been under a tremendous amount of mental anguish due to the suicide of a friend and also from being in an emotionally abusive relationship. Of course, I thought I was losing my mind. I was unable to leave the house, as I would totally freak out and have to rush back home if I tried to go out. It seemed as though I did not really sleep for weeks.</p>
<p>I remember reading an article regarding exercise and its positive effects on the brain. I had always been active, but I had never really done any exercise consistently. My first run was about a half mile. By the end of the month, I was running about three miles a day. My anxiety gradually diminished, and then disappeared altogether. In three months, I was able to run over ten miles. I lost weight, started eating healthier, and firmed up all over. I incorporated cycling and weight training into my exercise regimen.</p>
<p>Today I am 55 years old, and I still use running as an alternative treatment for my depression and anxiety, and for my general well-being. It is the greatest gift I have ever given myself. I am more fit than my teenage daughters, and compete in ultra-marathons of 30 to 60 miles. I do not have brittle bones or cellulite, and no one believes me when I tell them my age! My resting heart rate is 55. Is it easy at my age? No, but the benefits far outweigh the pain! I plan to keep running forever!</p>
<p>When I hear one of your callers complaining about their obesity, depression or anxiety, I am so glad you stress the importance of exercise. I see so many parents with children who are already becoming obese, and I just want to shake them! I consider it a form of child neglect for parents to allow their children to eat the wrong foods and not exercise. We have become a nation of fat, lazy, unhealthy people. We need more Dr. Lauras to advocate healthy lifestyles, both physically and emotionally!</p>
<p>Bless you for the gifts you give to all of us on a daily basis.</p>
<p>Lisa</p>
Staff
2012-06-12T21:09:00Z
Advice for a Soon-to-be Bride
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Advice-for-a-Soon-to-be-Bride/903806121753587382.html
2012-06-11T20:42:00Z
2012-06-11T20:42:00Z
<p>I recently hosted a bridal shower for a lovely young woman I have known for many years. She has chosen a wonderful young man and has made great choices in her life. The guests and I took turns giving her three bits of advice for a happy marriage. The advice I gave was very much inspired by your wisdom, Dr. Laura!</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">1. Treat your husband like your hero and he will be.<br />2. Be your husband's girlfriend -- never his mother.<br />3. Separate blankets. (ok, that one is totally mine!)</p>
<p>And I could have added a fourth:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">4. Men and women are gloriously different. This should be celebrated and enjoyed. The perfect balance if we do it right!</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura. May God bless you and yours.</p>
<p>Gina</p>
Staff
2012-06-11T20:42:00Z
A Priceless Five Dollar Bill
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Priceless-Five-Dollar-Bill/-40733115207716499.html
2012-06-08T22:09:00Z
2012-06-08T22:09:00Z
<p>I had a moment last week where I felt like the richest woman in the world, even though I’m really not. After the bills are paid, there is little left for trips to the movies, expensive toys or even a timely pedicure. However, my soon-to-be five-year-old and I always seem to have a fun time together... But it wasn't until last week when I saw things so clearly and realized I'm rich.</p>
<p>Every Thursday, my son and I look forward to walking to our neighborhood Farmers' Market. We walk from vendor to vendor sampling the goodies, picking out delicious fruits, veggies and cheeses together. Our visit always ends at the booth where my son gets to hand-pick dog treats for our dog, Lady.</p>
<p>This week, as I collected my change for the doggie goodies, my son, Nathan, looked at me and said, "Can I have five dollars?" Never has he asked for money since part of our fun is TOGETHER picking out which peach will be the best, or what squash to cook tonight. I asked him "What do you need five bucks for?" And he replied, "It's a surprise." Curious, I handed him the money and watched as my little boy walked over to the flower stand. I watched closely as I saw him talking to the florist, showing his money and picking out a beautiful bouquet of flowers he'd proudly selected all by himself. He then walked back to me and said, "Here Mommy, I bought these for you". It was at that moment, I felt sorry for all the mothers who may drive a nicer car than me, but aren’t home enough to earn the complete love and trust from their children, as I have strived to always do, and, by the look of the lit up smiley face in front of me, proved I have done.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for reminding women we cannot be replaced by hired help and no job (no matter how rewarding) will ever be worth more than those five dollar flowers.</p>
<p>With respect & admiration,</p>
<p>Nathan's Mommy</p>
Staff
2012-06-08T22:09:00Z
With a Passion, I Became Someone
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/With-a-Passion,-I-Became-Someone/-60382879746821357.html
2012-06-07T21:20:00Z
2012-06-07T21:20:00Z
<p>I am a product of abuse and haven't seen my mother since I was 7 and my father since I was 15, when I ran away. Because of this, I've always felt I needed to "BE SOMEONE." Thus I went to college for biochemistry, graduated with a 3.5, and attended a Ph.D. program in biochemistry afterwards. I found the program easy, but I didn't enjoy the day. I didn't like who I was, or what I was doing.</p>
<p>THAT'S WHEN I CALLED YOU, about 3 years ago. You straight out told me the program wasn't for me. I tried to tell you otherwise, and you told me again the program wasn't for me. I left the program taking an early Master’s.</p>
<p>I started working at a residential group home for teens with troubled pasts. I have found myself through giving to them, and since I love what I do, it's funny, but I AM SOMEONE.</p>
<p>I have since earned another Master’s in Secondary Education, and have taken a job offer to be the head of a department that deals with behavior and academic issues of students, along with being the head of the science department in a BRAND NEW school in Sweden. It is funny how hard I worked to be someone, but when I had passion for what I did, everything fell into place.</p>
<p>I have listened to you since I was 12 with my AM Walkman, and I am now 27. Sadly, as I move to Sweden I may lose out on our afternoon sessions.</p>
<p>Thank you,</p>
<p>Joshua</p>
Staff
2012-06-07T21:20:00Z
How to Be Confident When Saying Yes to a Marriage Proposal
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-to-Be-Confident-When-Saying-Yes-to-a-Marriage-Proposal/338664070134201255.html
2012-06-06T23:04:00Z
2012-06-06T23:04:00Z
<p>I think the best word to describe how I felt when my husband proposed to me would be: <strong>confident</strong>. As an observant Jew, my husband (then my date) and I only talked and laughed. We found out we enjoyed each other's company, we valued the same things, and had similar opinions about politics. We were both likeable, and he was a thorough mensch.</p>
<p>We were both able to come to this realization because we did not touch each other at all while we were dating or engaged. I mean, not even holding hands! We weren't dating for fun (although we had plenty of fun); we were dating to find out if we were meant to be life partners. By bypassing all the physical contact - which tends to confuse relationships - we were truly able to focus on each other's personality and I could see my husband was smart, kind, had strong faith, and best of all he made me laugh (that was important for me!).</p>
<p>So when he proposed, I said, "Yes" and four beautiful daughters and almost ten years of marriage later, I'm still glad I did.</p>
<p>Thanks for listening Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>Love,</p>
<p>Hindel</p>
Staff
2012-06-06T23:04:00Z
Not a Single Mom, but a Proud Military Spouse!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Not-a-Single-Mom,-but-a-Proud-Military-Spouse!/984249712886352552.html
2012-06-05T22:06:00Z
2012-06-05T22:06:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am the proud mom of a seven-week-old daughter and girlfriend of my husband of over four-years.</p>
<p>My husband serves in the United States Air Force and travels often. In the past seven-weeks, the importance of raising children in a home with a mommy and daddy has become ever more clear to me. Single-parent friends remark that I am "one of them" when my husband travels. I could not disagree more. I am a military spouse --confident, capable, and able to run a household while my man is away, but by no means does that make me a single mom.</p>
<p>I am blessed. When my husband is defending our country and travels for work, his values -- our values -- are with me. I know that when my husband has a chance to call or email, he will help me make decisions about raising our daughter, support decisions I already made, provide the vote of confidence I need to make it through a long day (and night), talk to our little one so she can hear his voice, and remind us how much he loves us and is here for us.</p>
<p>He does this while providing for and protecting our family. I love and adore him.</p>
<p>He may not walk through the door every night, but his presence, support, opinion, encouragement, and love are felt everyday - all day.</p>
<p>As he gets ready to leave for two months, I will cry (it never gets easier despite what "they" say). I miss him so much it sometimes hurts, but most of my tears are happy ones. I am so blessed to be married to my best friend and to share unconditional love and support with him.</p>
<p>Many thanks for your support of the military and spouses everywhere!</p>
<p>With Gratitude,</p>
<p>Air Force Mom & Girlfriend, Amanda</p>
<p>PS: My daughter and I listen to your podcast on daily walks. I hope your knowledge and advice sinks into her infant subconscious!</p>
Staff
2012-06-05T22:06:00Z
My Dirty Secret is That I'm a Mermaid!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Dirty-Secret-is-That-Im-a-Mermaid!/-221543534181607637.html
2012-06-04T23:01:00Z
2012-06-04T23:01:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>I listen to you while I work every day... and when I'm feeling crazy or alone in this world, you make me feel as if I am in good company, and the world makes sense again. I am recently married and wanted to share this with you, because I think you might get a kick out of it.</p>
<p>I have been very focused and motivated to behave as what people today call a 'traditional' woman. I stumbled across a tactic I started using while dating that still works great in my marriage today with my type-A, aggressive, athletic, husband who tries to be everyone's hero and sometimes has trouble managing his stress or parsing out what is important and what to let go of.</p>
<p>While visiting my grandmother, I watched an old movie about a mermaid. I noticed how enticing she was and how overly feminine she was. She entranced the man in the house by being totally dependent on him to carry her around, and when he'd sweep her up she would compliment him and sing to him and ask him questions. She had a cute high-pitched voice and long wavy blond hair and big eyes. She would look at him with her big doe eyes and all he cared about was making her feel comfortable and safe... I thought this was fantastic, so one day I applied it!</p>
<p>When my husband was courting me for marriage, he liked to pick me up and carry me places, especially when we were out hiking. One day, he picked me up [like a mermaid] to carry me up a hill and I started singing to him the way the mermaid did in that old '50s movie. I sang, "I am a mermaid... la la la..., and then added my own personal touches about how he was saving me etc. To my surprise, his reaction was much like the man in the movie. He had this dazed and relaxed smile on his face, so I kept singing.</p>
<p>Today, whenever I need to connect with him, I become the mermaid again. It disarms him almost immediately, especially when he is getting tense.[It actually relaxes me as well... so the benefit is two-fold.]</p>
<p>I sing in a very sweet and girly voice about positive things that he is, or does, and all the ways I like and love him. I make up the song as I go. It doesn't always rhyme, but he doesn't care, he just thinks it's adorable. I see his tension melt and it somehow brings him back into the moment with me and allows him to focus on the good stuff.</p>
<p>Even better than that, I can also sing about things that might annoy or bother me, and because the singing soothes him, he's able to hear the meaning behind the song, and feel okay about it, rather than feel criticized and then become defensive.</p>
<p>Maybe other women would have fun being mermaids and getting carried around by their husbands, [but that's my secret].</p>
<p>YOU ARE MY HERO!</p>
<p>many blessings...</p>
<p>Jenny</p>
<p><br /> </p>
Staff
2012-06-04T23:01:00Z
A Trip with Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Trip-with-Dad/-177404706125845800.html
2012-06-01T22:15:00Z
2012-06-01T22:15:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>The most memorable trip I took was with my Dad when I was in high school. I was on the dance team and we traveled to Florida for the national competition.</p>
<p>I do not really remember the dance, or trophies, or the rides at Disney World, or the places we ate. What I remember most was how happy I was, how my heart was bursting with pride and pleasure to have my Dad with me.</p>
<p>He traveled for his work and was not home very often, especially through my teen years. As a teenage girl I never figured my Dad could offer me too much, (since I was brilliant and knew it all already), but boy oh boy, was I happy he chose to chaperone that trip. Time with him was often scarce, his opinions mattered greatly to me, (still do!), and his pride in me was so important to my confidence.</p>
<p>I'm still not sure how he even found the time to go, but the memories I have of the two of us together on that trip will live in my heart forever. When I think of how much my Daddy meant to me in my “growing up” years, I make sure to send my husband and our daughter, (6 years old), on lots of Daddy-daughter dates. I know someday she will look back on those trips and treasure them, just as I do.</p>
<p>Thanks for helping make me the best I can be.</p>
<p>My husband's girlfriend and my kid's stay-at-home-MOM,</p>
<p>Bethany</p>
Staff
2012-06-01T22:15:00Z
How Hobbies Can Add to Your Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Hobbies-Can-Add-to-Your-Life/534641675163592511.html
2012-05-31T23:28:00Z
2012-05-31T23:28:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have many hobbies, my greatest passion being physical sports. In college, I went to an informational meeting about the women's rugby club and I haven't looked back.</p>
<p>Rugby brings a great deal to my life. For 80 minutes on the field I feel fierce and strong. It takes practice and determination to meet our team goals. During practice and games I can play hard and at least for that time, the stressors in my life don't matter. I have to rely on my teammates and I have to work hard because my teammates are relying on me. My mates are my family. They bring me Gatorade when I am sick, take me to surgery, and help me celebrate my milestones. I truly treasure this group of women that I have chosen to be a part of.</p>
<p>I'm not sure how many years I have left of competitive play and that thought scares me. But I know I will always belong with this team after I am retired from playing, because we share a love for the sport. We all come from different backgrounds, professions, orientations, and general walks of life, but down deep we are very similar. “Ruggers” are a different breed, and maybe we are the only ones who understand each other.</p>
<p>During the day I am a professional, working full time and going to graduate school full time. I dress the role and my colleagues are none the wiser. However, under my dress pants, my legs still look like they did when I was 8. At 34, I am still the tomboy with scraped up knees and bruised legs. And I wouldn't have it any other way!</p>
<p>Karla</p>
Staff
2012-05-31T23:28:00Z
Putting the Cart Before the Horse
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Putting-the-Cart-Before-the-Horse/931729386844982027.html
2012-05-30T23:47:00Z
2012-05-30T23:47:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have been married almost thirty years. My husband never proposed to me… officially. Instead, I got a call from his mom with her saying, "Congratulations, I hear you're getting married." That should have been the final red flag to getting married. Instead, you guessed it; I was pregnant.</p>
<p>The best thing that got our marriage off to a good start was my husband joined the military and they put 1500 miles between us and all relatives. Sure, I visited them often, but the distance forced us to rely on each other.</p>
<p>Overall, it has been a good marriage with all four kids being productive adults. However, the one essential ingredient that is still lacking is my husband's respect for me, his wife and eternal bride. See, when a man has to get married because his wife is pregnant, respect is lost. I have talked to other women in the same situation and they noticed it, too.</p>
<p>This is something we work on as we grow older. It should have been part of the foundation, but like baking a cake, it's not quite the same when you add the egg after the cake has been put in the oven.</p>
<p>Thank you.</p>
Staff
2012-05-30T23:47:00Z
Losing Friends or Friending Losers?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Losing-Friends-or-Friending-Losers/224750919464692571.html
2012-05-29T20:09:00Z
2012-05-29T20:09:00Z
<p>Dear Mom/Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Ever since I "met" you, my life has become REAL and BEAUTIFUL. I was living in blindness, ignorance, cowardness, and confusion. My values were uneducated. I had no solid criteria for choosing friends. So, anyone was good.</p>
<p>Ever since I found exactly what I needed and more (you are my Mentor), I am happier.</p>
<p>Amend that: I am <strong>happy</strong>.</p>
<p>I cleaned up my list of "friends". I finally made sense of what a friend is or should be. <br />Throughout the “cleaning” process, I offended many. I have done “Friendship Alchemy” tests that failed, or came out in untrue colors, so I hit the “delete” button.</p>
<p>My life is in a far better place, and I intend to keep it in this place. Your legacy to me is that I am now <em><strong>living</strong></em> my life.</p>
<p>Thank you. Thank you for teaching me how to swim in this ocean full of sharks.</p>
<p>I love you and always will.</p>
<p>Regards,</p>
<p>Alice</p>
Staff
2012-05-29T20:09:00Z
Forced to Be A Stay-At-Home Mommy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Forced-to-Be-A-Stay-At-Home-Mommy/113626089223630984.html
2012-05-25T22:03:00Z
2012-05-25T22:03:00Z
<p>I never wanted to be a stay-at-home mommy. I worked for over 30 years and I thought work defined me. Well, one fateful day in May 2006, I was diagnosed with MS (multiple sclerosis). The symptoms started becoming worse and my health took a dive. I had to go on disability.</p>
<p>My husband and 2 daughters were very concerned, but I was determined to better manage this horrible disease. I decided my new job was at home being the best wife and mother that God directed me to be. No, God did not give me MS, but he has made good what was meant for bad.</p>
<p>My husband states, "You are so much more relaxed," and dotes on me...He says I make him feel like the king of his castle. My daughters state that since I have been home, I have been there for them more and I am not tensed anymore. They went on to say their friends wish their moms were more like me. The family really pulled together once I was forced to stay home. Had I known how my staying at home meant so much to my husband and my daughters, I would have made this decision long ago. </p>
<p>The adjustment from the workplace to home was pretty hard. We thought we would miss the money I was making, but a way was made by God. He is the center of our lives and we are happier. We all have our trials and tribulations, but any problems seem so small and can and have been fixed. Too bad I had to get MS to find out what I was missing, but I am grateful I have found it! Don't wait until it's too late to appreciate what is right in front of you.</p>
<p>Thank you.</p>
<p>Donna</p>
Staff
2012-05-25T22:03:00Z
Putting the Other's Needs First
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Putting-the-Others-Needs-First/75749849865663744.html
2012-05-24T23:21:00Z
2012-05-24T23:21:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I listen to you every night while driving a tractor trailer for UPS.</p>
<p>I am constantly amazed at how couples struggle in maintaining a loving relationship, yet one or both parties are always thinking of themselves rather than the spouse. <br /><br />I married at 21 and will celebrate my 35th anniversary this July.</p>
<p>At the beginning of every weekend, I sit with my wife for morning coffee and ask her if there is anything she needs done around the house or anything special she wants to do for the weekend. It is not an empty question. If she says she would like something done, it goes to the top of my list and, if at all possible, it gets done. If she wants to go for a long walk with the dog, I fit it in as more important than my needs. When I start a project it gets done and not left half-completed. Sometimes, I really don't feel like doing her request but I suck it up and always feel better when I see her smile and thank me.</p>
<p>She also pays attention to my needs.</p>
<p>The relationship works when both parties put the other's needs first over their own needs -- when actions show you care more than empty word promises.</p>
<p>Keep up the good work of trying to help people -- I love your show.</p>
<p>Ed</p>
Staff
2012-05-24T23:21:00Z
SLOW Down Moms!!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/SLOW-Down-Moms!!/-598626316521099442.html
2012-05-23T23:15:00Z
2012-05-23T23:15:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>I have listened to your show and hear a recurring problem with moms in general regardless of why they call in. The key to MY happiness is "SLOWING DOWN!" I mean that in every sense of the way. I don't agree to everything under the sun to keep up an image of what I think a good mother should do and be.</p>
<p>I have a 6 month old daughter and our days are filled with walks in the stroller, reading books together, playing “peek-a-boo,” and warm baths before bed. I have found what makes me and my family happy, and I NEVER make any choices which compromise that.</p>
<p>I quit my job, I put my hobbies on hold, I see my friends less, I only run errands once a week (yes, things can wait), and I don't volunteer to help with everything and anything. Some may call me selfish or crazy because I have chosen to slow down my life to spend time with my daughter instead of running around constantly from store to store or event to event hauling a whining kid.</p>
<p>I get my break by having a girls' night once a month and “date night” with my husband twice a month.</p>
<p>So moms, quit filling your life with STUFF and get back to the basics. Kids are only little for so long, and when they are grown by all means fill your calendar up with commitments! But don't you want your kids to look back and say "What a calm mother I had, instead of a mother who was constantly stressed out keeping up with the other mothers who bit off more than they could chew? My mom CHOSE to make time to SPEND time with me." That is all.</p>
<p>Thank you for all you do, Dr. Laura! Lots of love to you and all the moms out there!</p>
<p>Danielle</p>
Staff
2012-05-23T23:15:00Z
Defender of Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Defender-of-Children/924862437027197546.html
2012-05-22T22:27:00Z
2012-05-22T22:27:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am a hospice chaplain, and my wife is a school teacher. You have been a wonderful addition to our lives. We have had many hours of listening to you for years, and your comments and opinions have been the source for many discussions.</p>
<p>I would like to do something for you, I subscribe to SiriusXM and support your sponsors, but this seems like so little. So as a thank you I'd like to share with you a story.....</p>
<p>I was in a van coming back from a short-term mission and to make the time in the van pass quicker, we played a game. Each person asked a question, and the others in the van answered it and explained why they gave that answer. One question was, "If you had a seven year old daughter and had to leave her in the care of someone you had never met, who would it be?" I said it would be Dr. Laura. My reasoning was that, regardless of your opinion or politics, you have always stood to defend children from harm. I said, "She would stand between evil and the child no matter what the consequences. And the kid might also learn about sailing"</p>
<p>Others in the van picked people in the media, politicians, religious leaders, but after all had said who they would leave their daughter with, we each restated our decision… Everyone said, "Dr Laura."</p>
<p>That is my gift to you.</p>
<p>Thank you.</p>
<p>Bill</p>
Staff
2012-05-22T22:27:00Z
I'm Not Somewhere Else
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Not-Somewhere-Else/701079154406468078.html
2012-05-21T19:35:00Z
2012-05-21T19:35:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just wanted to say a big huge THANK YOU for the courage you gave me to become a stay- at-home mom. I started listening to you over a decade ago, in college, per my then fiance's (now husband's) advice. Since then we have had a daughter who's now 5, and a son who's now 18 months. I never "got" what you were trying to say until after my daughter was born and I read "In Praise of Stay-At-Home Moms." Thankfully my mother-in-law (and not some total stranger) watched my daughter for the first four years of her life, but I still felt I should be the one to raise her. We made some financial plans so it was viable for me to stay home, and when my son was 8 months old we made the leap. I stayed home!!!</p>
<p>It has been nearly a year now and I would NEVER go back. I knew it was something I wanted, but it seemed selfish to not partake in financially helping the family. However, I now see how it has positively affected my family. My husband, who I try my best to be a better wife to, has more than stepped up to the plate of caring for us financially, and takes pride in it. We get along much better than I thought possible - it's like the romance before kids, but with two beautiful children to snuggle with and love as well.</p>
<p>Since I have stayed home, the house is cleaner, and the kids are cared for by ME and my husband. I don't feel that bathing, feeding, and changing diapers are such a chore because I'm not so stressed out and tired from working all day, and I am able to teach my kids my personal values. Others have noticed and commented on my daughter's responsible behavior. Even my daughter's "confidence" rating in swim lessons went up terrifically (yes, they grade that at the YMCA).</p>
<p>So, as I sit here listening to your show, I reflect on the last hour of my life. I wiped my little guy's lunch-covered face (made by me, not some fast food place), kissed it, of course, held him in my arms as he drifted off to dreamland, and tucked him in OUR bed. I watched my daughter play with her Barbies while dressed in clothes SHE picked out (and not me because we aren't running late every day for me to get to work). She just giggled, and I didn't miss it. I wasn't somewhere else, working.</p>
<p>Becky</p>
Staff
2012-05-21T19:35:00Z
Gooey Kisses and Gummy Smiles
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Gooey-Kisses-and-Gummy-Smiles/330085318628724476.html
2012-05-19T00:48:00Z
2012-05-19T00:48:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>They posted my job description this week. Soon I will be some unknown name on an old found document that has no meaning anymore. Business will go on as usual. Sure some will miss me, but as time goes on, I will fade from their memories. I am good at my job, and have always felt appreciated and valued there. But I am replaceable. I will be replaced by someone who will perform even better than I did. And to be honest, it is an odd feeling realizing after twelve years in the work field that I am just a name on the payroll who can easily be inserted with someone new.</p>
<p>However, there is one job where I am not replaceable - one job where I will always be remembered. That is being my kids' mom. I am the one who teaches my toddler matters of the heart. It is I who makes sure my four month old receives physical therapy stretches five times a day. I am the one who gets to experience my toddler discovering a ladybug for the first time. I am the one who gets to see for the first time my four month old roll over. Not a relative, not a caring childcare provider, not a stranger at a daycare, but me! Mommy - the one who encouraged this human being to develop inside of me, the one who endured the pain of childbirth, the one who provides natural nourishment. Me! Mommy!</p>
<p>I am very blessed to have chosen a man who will slay the dragons day and night for his family; a man who truly understands how important it is to have their mother nurture and love his children. Will we have to make sacrifices to live this way? YES! Will we have to downsize our beautiful house to keep health insurance? Maybe. Will we have to only have one car, no cable, no internet, no fancy cell phones? Already did. These sacrifices are meaningless knowing my husband and children get all of me. Not a hurried, frazzled, stressed-out wife and mother who only has time to fix dinner (if we were lucky), give baths, and put the kids to bed before she collapses.</p>
<p>We're taking the leap of faith Dr. Laura! The leap to one income, because we know without a doubt it is the right thing to do. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being an advocate for stay-at-home moms. I am so grateful my husband got me reading your books and listening to you on the radio!</p>
<p>So even though I am going through the weird emotions of quitting my career, I couldn't be happier! I am trading in acclamations at luncheons for gooey kisses and gummy smiles at home!</p>
<p>Thank you for being a part of my life Dr. Laura.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>April</p>
Staff
2012-05-19T00:48:00Z
Assumed to be being The Nanny?!?!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Assumed-to-be-being-The-Nanny!!/-646616726370159309.html
2012-05-17T22:44:00Z
2012-05-17T22:44:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have been my husband's girlfriend for over 10 years, and my kids' mom. We have two daughters: a 1 1/2 year-old and a 7 year-old. I have been listening to you since I was a teenager when my mom was listening to you.</p>
<p>A few weeks ago, I was pushing my youngest in the stroller to pick up her sister from school. While waiting, I watched and giggled as my toddler played on the playground. She giggled climbing the steps. She laughed going down the slide. She said "uh-oh!" when she fell on her tush. I cherish all of these precious moments.</p>
<p>A woman began talking to me, as if she knew me. She mentioned the family she nannies for and about her day. She asked me about my clients.</p>
<p>"What?" I asked, confused.</p>
<p>"Oh, aren't you the nanny?" this woman asked.</p>
<p>"No." I said. "This is my daughter, and we are waiting for my other daughter to be dismissed from school."</p>
<p>She then told me she nannies for two little boys, 3 and 6, and sees me at the park, biking, AND playing in the yard with one or both girls. She then continued saying since I always drop off my daughter in the mornings and pick her up in the afternoons, she assumed I was the nanny. She thought I was the nanny because I always have one or two children in tow at all times!</p>
<p>I "look like the nanny" because I spend so much time with my girls walking, playing, and running errands? Dr. Laura, this is so sad!!! What does this say about our society?</p>
<p>Thank you for being a voice for us stay-at-home moms! Thank you for all you do and all you stand for. You have helped me in so many ways. But most of all, you have helped me be a great mom to our girls and a strong warrior's woman to my hunk of a husband!</p>
<p>God bless!</p>
<p>Kim</p>
Staff
2012-05-17T22:44:00Z
A Stay-at-Home Mommy is a Less Stressed Mommy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Stay-at-Home-Mommy-is-a-Less-Stressed-Mommy/-110363620303492809.html
2012-05-16T22:13:00Z
2012-05-16T22:13:00Z
<p>Hi, Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I can't believe I haven't worked now for 14 years. I have three kids, ages 16, 14 and 4. I worked for the first 3 years of my first child's life. Yes, we had more money, but after taking the leap of faith of my quitting my job and still being able to make ends meet, we are so glad we did.</p>
<p>First and foremost, I couldn't believe how less stressed out I was from not having to get up, get ready, get my kid ready for daycare, go to work and then come home and figure out dinner, bath and bedtime. I had little time with my child, which made me sad. I was also so tired I wasn't interested in sex with my husband. Now, my sex life is revived. I actually have energy and want to have sex more often. I am 46 years old and am having the best sex of my life. It just keeps getting better.</p>
<p>My kids get a mom who is around to take them to school, practices, make them breakfast and just be here. I realize life is too short to not enjoy this time with the kids while they are still at home and how they can be influenced by involved parents.</p>
<p>I love listening to you and respect your advice. The one piece of advice I heard you say years ago which I constantly remind myself of when I might feel a little too tired for sex, is..."Never, never give up the opportunity for an orgasm. Why would you?" You are so right. It makes my husband a happy man and me too!</p>
<p>Thank you for all your advice and insight. I enjoy hearing you so much.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Christine</p>
Staff
2012-05-16T22:13:00Z
Working Builds Character and Values
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Working-Builds-Character-and-Values/-627956689339465046.html
2012-05-15T22:15:00Z
2012-05-15T22:15:00Z
<p>I'm speaking on behalf of my husband! His family did it right and I've always admired in him, the ability to work hard.</p>
<p>He grew up on a farm in Southeast Idaho and they didn't have much but each other and their land. Every morning, his dad would wake them up before the sun to move pipe. When they got home, there was homemade bread and oatmeal on the table and their grandma there ready to teach them piano lessons before they were off to seminary and school that were a thirty drive away. After school, the six brothers and one sister, got a quick snack and then found their parents for farm chores. They worked together until about six PM, then ate dinner as a family and did their homework on the living room table together. There wasn't time for Nintendo, TV or sleepovers. They were together as a family and that bond is amazing still today. I believe it kept them out of trouble to be so involved with their parents and working on the farm. They didn't have a choice -- if they didn't farm, they didn't eat.</p>
<p>All the kids learned to work for very little money from dad, to buy their own clothes, pay for their own cars and insurance, and make their way through college. Now, the siblings are all hard workers: a doctor, a pharmacist, a high school teacher, one is about to serve a two year mission, one just got back from Hong Kong and is on his way to medical school. My husband has a business degree and has always been able to provide for us.</p>
<p>They sometimes had to work for very little or nothing at all on the farm because that's what fed the family and put a roof over their heads. They even built their family home together (and this was all in the 80's and 90's, not the 1800's!)</p>
<p>My husband learned to work hard to keep our family afloat during difficult financial times where he had to take jobs that were not much fun and nothing to brag about, but he did them!</p>
<p>We now teach our kids to work hard for the things that are important to them. Their lives are so much more fulfilling.</p>
<p>Laura</p>
Staff
2012-05-15T22:15:00Z
15 Minutes for Character
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/15-Minutes-for-Character/992669700375177666.html
2012-05-14T21:30:00Z
2012-05-14T21:30:00Z
<p>My oldest daughter approached me with a question about cheating as we were waiting for her school's gate to open, which set me off to a bit of reflection today. As I answered her, I started thinking about all the other occasions that something like this has come up during the school year, usually during the daily trip to and from class, and I began to realize how the moments add up over time.</p>
<p>My husband and I made the decision at the start of school it was more important for us to take her to school ourselves, rather than having her on a bus. This is made possible by the fact (thanks to the devotion of my husband) that I get to be a stay-at-home mommy. Although the daily effort has its challenges, this morning I realized just how much gets imparted during those 15 minutes of walking from the car to the school.</p>
<p>Since August, she and I have had discussions on a range of topics in relation to her daily life at school. For example, there were the two weeks spent emphasizing the value of working to meet a goal as she practiced running for a school "Fun Run," and then not giving up and quitting during the event itself. Another day, it was the foundation of truth and trust in a relationship, after she was busted for lying. There was the week we focused on the importance of standing up for others when we caught and stopped a friend of hers from being bullied. And the list goes on…. The need for treating others with respect after she was rude to her teacher, for which she had to apologize. Why stealing is wrong, after someone took a flower off her backpack. Being aware of how her actions affect others. The importance of family working together as a team when she helped me teach her sister to look out for cars. Finally, the day she tried to hide a potty accident, leading to a discussion about the strength of a family to pull together to help each other, and she could always come and talk to us when she needed us.</p>
<p>Aside from the fact I realized she gets lectured a lot, it dawned on me it's these little 15 minute moments that give me the opportunity to influence the shaping of her character and those of her sisters as they grow. I am so grateful to my husband for the gift of these moments, as it is his sacrifice at work which makes this time possible! Thanks for all that you do to spread the word about how important this time can be for kids!</p>
<p>Liz</p>
Staff
2012-05-14T21:30:00Z
A Blissful 45 Minutes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Blissful-45-Minutes/-252037382352056645.html
2012-05-11T22:31:00Z
2012-05-11T22:31:00Z
<p>For years, I've heard you talking about your book, “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands,” yet I never purchased it, because I believed I was taking great care of my husband. I'm an avid reader, and last night I hadn't had a chance to go to the library, so I downloaded a copy onto my Kindle.</p>
<p>I didn't even finish the prologue before I went into the other room, ripped off my clothes and proceeded to romp with my husband for a blissful 45 minutes.</p>
<p>How did this all work in my favor? Not only did he let me sleep in late while he got our 2 children up and off to school, he made the coffee and left me a note that read, "I hope you get to chapter 1 today!!" Thank you so much.</p>
<p>A Happily Married Woman of 23 years.<br />Stacey</p>
Staff
2012-05-11T22:31:00Z
The 'PERKS' of Being a Stay-at-Home Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-PERKS-of-Being-a-Stay-at-Home-Mom/603151131999825539.html
2012-05-10T23:59:00Z
2012-05-10T23:59:00Z
<p>I was in a rut. I was depressed and angry and distrustful of my husband. We decided to give me one month to relax from my mommy duties. The plan backfired big-time. I could feel my husband starting to resent me as he took on cooking, dishes and started taking our 2 year old to work twice a week while I did nothing. I wasted my 'me' time and accomplished nothing to be proud of.</p>
<p>We got into a fight about it all, ending with him calling me out on being a less than grateful wife. Oh, that made me so mad.</p>
<p>I was left with two choices: I could wallow in the pain of his accusation and sink into a deeper depression, or commit to being a Stay-At-Home-Mom/wife with my heart, mind, body and soul. I chose the latter. I admit it was more to show him.</p>
<p>I took over the bills again, reworked our cash and ended my overspending, I planned and cooked healthy and yummy meals, with a small dessert each night. The house was clean and I was dressed with a hint of makeup each night. I was being self-righteous but somewhere along the way I started enjoying it. I started mentioning stay-at-home-mom "perks" to my husband as a way to keep myself in the right mindset. Some of these included...</p>
<ul>
<li>I get to swim with our kids 6, 5 and 2 any day of the week.</li>
<li>I get to plan my day in a way that lets me sit and read (something I love to do).</li>
<li>I carry absolutely no stress in my heart about earning money.</li>
<li>I get to dance to the 90's station with my two year old while vacuuming together.</li>
<li>I decorate our home any way I please.</li>
</ul>
<p>My husband has started to point things out as well: I don't have to rush anywhere. I have time to do everything I need. When I think of my kids growing up too soon, I can scoop them up and change the plans and get my “Mommy” fix.</p>
<p>My husband has started pointing out to our children all the ways I make their lives fun, safe and loving. Like sitting out at the waterpark to watch our stuff while they went with Daddy down the slides because the lockers were broken. Like making sure they are dressed clean and neat everyday and have all the art supplies any kid could ever want.</p>
<p>The truth is, Dr. Laura. I WAS an ungrateful wife. I am now a grateful wife. I am now appreciated by my husband. It's all because I finally realized the perks to being a stay-at-home mom. Who in their right mind would want to be anywhere but at home raising their precious babies? It is the absolute most fun, laid back and best way to spend time on the planet.</p>
<p>Thank you for being a voice of reason in my life.</p>
<p>Happy Mother's Day!</p>
<p>Kelli</p>
Staff
2012-05-10T23:59:00Z
Driving To and From Work with Your Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Driving-To-and-From-Work-with-Your-Husband/686853573809584016.html
2012-05-09T19:44:00Z
2012-05-09T19:44:00Z
<p>My husband of 16 years and I work together. I have to admit we have not always been each other’s "girlfriend and boyfriend".</p>
<p>Since we’ve moved 40 minutes away from our work, we try and ride together. We have always made a point of being home when the kids are home, so they have never been in day care. They are now 16 and 12 years old. On our ride home, we both listen to you. It has made us look at our lives in a different light. We’ve suddenly “found” ourselves again and realize we are not out of the ordinary and we are raising our kids right. We’ve also started to become each other’s boyfriend and girlfriend again. I want to personally thank you for helping us both see this.</p>
<p>We can't wait for our 2:00 PM drive home to the kids and to listen to Dr. Laura. Thank you for being true to your listeners.</p>
<p>Dawn</p>
Staff
2012-05-09T19:44:00Z
Being Chivalrous
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-Chivalrous/443233551544039716.html
2012-05-08T21:40:00Z
2012-05-08T21:40:00Z
<p>Your letters about men opening doors for their wives reminded me of my arrangement with my wife. I started opening the doors for her about 10 years ago after listening to your show. Over the years, I have decided I do it for myself as much as I do it for her.</p>
<p>My wife's behavior is sometimes a challenge to put up with. I work hard for her and for our lives together, but she still complains a lot. On a bad day (when I don't want to stay silent while she complains), I will start an argument with her in order to defend myself. Over our 30 year history, when we start arguing, we both can become mean-spirited very fast. And over the years, some of these arguments have done long-term damage to our relationship.</p>
<p>So I have developed a means to rein myself in: I open the car door for her as a method to remind myself I am still her husband, no matter what I feel at the moment. This one act usually causes me to re-evaluate the situation and just stop myself from arguing, before things get out of hand.</p>
<p>I have worked with my wife to find an equivalent trick for her to use - something a wife has to do for her husband whether she feels like it or not. I came up with one silly idea that seems to work: she has to trim my ear hair. So now, when we argue, I stop long enough to open doors for her, and then tell her "my ear hair is growing awfully long, and I can't cut it myself…"</p>
<p>Tim</p>
Staff
2012-05-08T21:40:00Z
I Never Realized Men Had Feelings
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Never-Realized-Men-Had-Feelings/112954231970849003.html
2012-05-07T22:42:00Z
2012-05-07T22:42:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I'm a huge Democrat and a self-professed bleeding-heart liberal, but I had to write to tell you: I LOVE YOU. You've changed my life.</p>
<p>My mom's been an alcoholic for 30 years and is 3 times divorced. Dad was good, but absent after they divorced when I was 2 - he supported me financially, but I saw him like 6 times per year. We are very close now. My family has a history of women putting men down and divorcing them if they (the men) refuse to be abused or berated.</p>
<p>Mom's alcoholism created chaos most of my life and instilled in me self-loathing, anxiety, perfectionism and bouts of alcohol abuse and an eating disorder. I dated a guy who hit me and another guy who was emotionally torturous. I can now answer the question, "Why?" when asked why anyone would stick around for abuse: I was used to it! I didn't know how bad it was.</p>
<p>BUT I didn't just take it, I also dealt it.</p>
<p>When my husband and I married 5 years ago, I (unknowingly but definitely) treated him the way I'd seen men treated by my mother. I was mean, dismissive, and a basket case.</p>
<p>Two years after our wedding, I found out he was having an affair with a girl from his past. I immediately set about blaming him, trying to figure out why HE, the evil one, would do something so terrible to ME, the victim. No introspection for me, though.</p>
<p>Serendipitously, at the same time, I got a car with XM Radio. I almost immediately heard you mention “The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands.” Curious, I bought and read it right away. I decided to give your methods a go and forced myself to be patient, as my husband was incredulous with the new me. It took a couple of weeks before I noticed him smile at me more and laugh at my jokes, but it was a glimmer of hope. In two more weeks, he softened. Eureka!</p>
<p>I kept it up and was hopeful. After soul-searching, crying, and discussions, we decided to work hard to stay together. I changed, apologized and he did too. The bimbo was out; I was in.</p>
<p>We would have NEVER had a chance had I not read your book. It sounds crazy, but for the first time, I realized men have feelings.</p>
<p>Today, we're far more in love than when we married. Mom's still a crazy alcoholic, but I keep her at arm's length to save my life and my marriage. My husband and I now WORSHIP each other. We're SO in love and are so happy. I listen to you religiously and I learn something new every day. My progressive friends can't believe I love you, but when they have marriage trouble, I buy them your book. Then they thank me. Or they don't read it and end up divorced or miserable.</p>
<p>Your book saved my marriage and you taught me how to handle most situations. You continue to help me maintain my sanity and you've taught me how to ditch my angry-alcoholic-mother's view of relationships and life in general.</p>
<p>THANK YOU!</p>
<p>Emily</p>
Staff
2012-05-07T22:42:00Z
Just Run!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Just-Run!/-205053403280679339.html
2012-05-04T21:03:00Z
2012-05-04T21:03:00Z
<p>I am an avid listener and have been so since 1992. I am 38. I thought I chose wisely and treated kindly, but I see I lacked in both of those departments. After my 13 year marriage broke up, I was devastated. I have my two amazing daughters but who am I if not a "wife"? I am still having trouble with that.</p>
<p>You had a woman on your show not too long ago who was going to run the Boston marathon. I thought...oh yeah...I've always wanted to do that...BUT...</p>
<p>Then you had a woman on later who was having trouble with her new season in life. I thought - I'm in a new season. I hate it. I wish I could have a goal like running a marathon, BUT...BUT...BUT...</p>
<p> NO BUTS!</p>
<p>So, I am writing to tell you I am training for my first EVER marathon scheduled for January 13, 2013. You are my mentor and my moral compass. I wanted to tell you, so when I send you my picture after I complete my marathon you will know why.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura! Thank you for helping me with this new season in a positive way. I am my kid's MOM! I can now be someone they can look up too!!!</p>
<p>Oh...By the way, as, I was running at my local jogging park I was pacing myself with this woman who was a pretty good runner. When we finished and were getting water I told her she was kicking my butt. She was very sweet and smiled. Turned out she was 65! I felt like it was you kicking my butt. So, thanks!</p>
<p>Cheryl</p>
Staff
2012-05-04T21:03:00Z
On the Subject of Caretakers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/On-the-Subject-of-Caretakers/873593476477227148.html
2012-05-03T19:48:00Z
2012-05-03T19:48:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>A few days ago I heard you talking about caretaker burnout. I have always been my kids' mom and my husband's girlfriend, but two and a half years ago I also had the job of being caretaker for my father, who was dying from a non-cancerous, but inoperable brain tumor.</p>
<p>My parents divorced when I was in college, and neither remarried, so the task of being my father's primary (only) caretaker fell upon me, even though I lived a half hour away and had two children to care for (then ages 7 and 15).</p>
<p>Taking care of my father was both physically and emotionally demanding. He was not an easy person to care for and at times was borderline verbally abusive towards me. Nonetheless, I did the best I could to care for him in the way he wanted to be cared for. I drove him to medical appointments (usually a minimum of two hours away as his condition required he see specialists) and did his grocery shopping. I visited him at least 2-3 times per week to check up on him. It would have been easier for me to place him in an assisted living facility in my home town but he did not want that, and I respected his wishes, hiring a live-in healthcare aide who took care of him in his home.</p>
<p>In the midst of my exhaustion and grief (I knew he was dying), his well-meaning cousins who live in another state got involved in his care. By involved, I don't mean they actually DID anything to help... they basically just questioned and criticized every decision I made. They were outraged when my father became a hospice patient. They demanded he undergo more medical tests (repeating ones he already had done). They told me that doctors in their state were far superior to the ones here. They criticized me for not acting fast enough to take care of his needs. You get the picture.</p>
<p>I loved my father very much, Dr. Laura. Ever since he passed away in December 2009, there has been a huge hole in my life. He meant everything to me. And I am tormented every day by the little voice in my mind that says those cousins were right... I didn't do enough to save my father... and I am responsible for his death.</p>
<p>Please, tell your listeners to think before they offer their "helpful advice" to a caretaker. Their comments, no matter how well-intentioned, can leave a legacy of pain and grief.</p>
<p>Julie</p>
Staff
2012-05-03T19:48:00Z
Want Your Husband to be Happy?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Want-Your-Husband-to-be-Happy/993461332368037787.html
2012-05-02T20:41:00Z
2012-05-02T20:41:00Z
<p>Years ago, as you were advertising your book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" before it was officially released, I could tell from what you were saying it was what I had already figured out! I was thrilled to then read your book, knowing I had already realized this was the way my man needed to be treated in order for us to be happy! He needed to come home to a neat home and dinner simmering on the stove. On the days I'd make spaghetti, the garlic smell alone was all he needed to begin to relax after a tough day at work. </p>
<p>I was one of the lucky ladies in my neighborhood who got to stay home and work… and I mean work taking care of our daughter, and two wild and crazy sons! There were few like me. I'd take the little ones to a park sometimes to play and meet other stay-at-home moms but found few. No matter… I knew what I was doing was the best for my kids. Not one person ever dared tried to make me feel inferior. And if they'd say they just had to work to keep their brains motivated, I'd reply they had no idea what discipline it takes to fight off boredom even when watching and caring for your most precious children...It is not interesting to read “Tommy Tools” for the fourteenth time or play jacks when your back is tired, but they needed my attention. </p>
<p>Now my kids are grown and out of the house on their own. I have 3 grandkids and my youngest is getting married in June. Our family is loving and close now.. Our marriage is happier than ever, and frankly it is because of the concepts written in your book! I give every newlywed girl a copy of it. I even tell them, "At first you may get bugged by it, but keep on reading. You will not be able to fight it, unless you are extremely arrogant and think you know better than this 60-year-old woman! My hubby is 6o-years-old too and our romantic life has not wavered. The concepts in the book still apply! Sometimes when I am impatient I get to thinking how I wish I could ignore him just for a few days -- like a small break from each other, just grunting hello -- but no, he still needs me to make him feel like he's my hero which I do every day in some form or fashion, almost always ending the day with good old lovemaking. Why not? Just read the book ladies...and trust us who have been there and done this -- there isn't a better way and your hubbies will have a happy life! You want that, don't you? </p>
<p>Charity</p>
Staff
2012-05-02T20:41:00Z
Get to Know the Kids Around the Dinner Table
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Get-to-Know-the-Kids-Around-the-Dinner-Table/757142323740024221.html
2012-05-01T22:36:00Z
2012-05-01T22:36:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Recently you talked about the importance of family dinners to children. When our oldest daughter (now 30) was a senior in high school, her teacher asked the class what they would miss most going off to college. She said it would be eating dinner every night with her family. Her teacher was astonished and asked the class how many ate dinner with their family. Very few did! When we saw the teacher soon after, he questioned my husband and me if this was true and we assured him it was!</p>
<p>In 2006, our family was profiled in the newspaper as a family who eats dinner together. Why this is newsworthy still amazes me. They came and photographed us, like we were animals in a zoo! Our 4 children, including a set of triplets, thought it was very odd that eating dinner together should be considered interesting as it was all they had ever known.</p>
<p>Over the years we have had many other children at our dinner table. They came from families who ate "on the run" and were often left to fend for themselves while their parents attended various social events. I never thought they were with us for the food, but rather the camaraderie and love that was around the table.</p>
<p>I know those dinners did a lot to cement our family. On days when it was going to be difficult to manage due to everyone's schedule, we ate breakfast together instead, but it was a rare day when we didn't share that time around the table together in some fashion. When someone achieved something noteworthy, they had their dinner on the "Red Plate" emblazed with the words "You are Special today". Dinner was fun! We teased each other, laughed and heard all about the activities or trials of the day. I believe this is why, even now, as empty-nesters, with kids scattered around the country, they still are so close to us and each other. And when we are together, sharing meals is still a major focus.</p>
<p>Incidentally, you are also right about how the children turn out. Our 2 boys are Eagle Scouts, all 4 were class officers or leaders, were good athletes and graduated from college in 4 years. That time around the dinner table was the best time of our parenting and it didn't matter whether it was grilled salmon or grilled cheese. It was just being together.</p>
<p>Thanks for bringing this issue to your listeners. I hope you inspired some to make the effort to get to know their kids around the dinner table. It's worth the effort!</p>
<p>Mary Anne</p>
<p><br /><br /><br />And later in the show we received: </p>
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I was just listening to your letter about family dinners and the writer mentioned the red plate. Our family too, has the red plate and I have included the link below.</p>
<p>We use the red plate for everything from birthdays, to a great grade, to "just because." It is always a thrill to the one whose place at the table has the "red plate!" Just wanted other listeners to have access to their own red plates if they would like!</p>
<p><a href="http://www.redplatestore.com/you-are-special-today-red-plate.aspx" target="_blank">http://www.redplatestore.com/you-are-special-today-red-plate.aspx</a></p>
<p>Thank you for all you do!</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Renee</p>
Staff
2012-05-01T22:36:00Z
A Father's Role in a Child's Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Fathers-Role-in-a-Childs-Life/882699065080531521.html
2012-04-30T21:21:00Z
2012-04-30T21:21:00Z
<p>I am sitting here reflecting on my morning spent at a funeral for a friend's husband, killed tragically in a motorcycle accident this past weekend (no helmet). Ten years ago this man walked out on this wife and four kids (three who had special needs) as he '’couldn't take it anymore.”</p>
<p>He had been living with another woman this entire time (many did not know he had never divorced the first wife). He adopted the shack-up honey's two existing kids and then proceeded to have two more kids with her. His wife and his first four kids have struggled financially and emotionally as he helped with his kids, to quote his brother, "as he saw fit."</p>
<p>He was ex-military and the funeral was packed with men and women in military uniforms. He was a big supporter of veterans and the place was packed with his motorcycle veteran buddies. The flags were waved, the accolades read as his wife and four kids sat in the front row, tears streaming down their faces. No honor was due this man and yet it rained down.</p>
<p>His heroism, his giving back, his devotion to the veterans and their causes was highlighted. Nowhere in the building, to my knowledge, was his shack-up honey or his second set of kids. I'm sure they were asked not to come. Never was made mention of the mess he'd created in his kids' lives. I was screaming in my head, "What would Dr Laura say if she'd been asked to speak?"</p>
<p>What a travesty… what a tragedy. Shack-up honeys at times like this have little rights; they have not earned them. Now there are eight fatherless children, four of them abandoned years ago. I watched the deceased's mother stand as they were doing the military honors, tears streaming down her elderly face, shaking her head from side to side. Nothing to be proud of, her son lying in a flag draped casket, leaving a terrible legacy of abandonment and shame.</p>
<p>He always had time for others but rarely for those who would have loved it, who craved it, who so desperately wanted it. Many in our church have stepped up whenever necessary to fill the gap left by this selfish man, but we could never fill their hurting and empty hearts. I must have screamed very loudly in my head for I now lie here with the beginnings of a migraine, sick to my stomach by what I just witnessed.</p>
<p>Wake up dads. Your children need you desperately, and shame on those of you who deny your children. Blessings on men like my father, father-in-law, husband, brother, son and son-in-law who gave and give of themselves and their time daily to make our family a very special and warm place. We appreciate you.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr Laura, for taking the time to read this, and thank you for your efforts daily to restore families. You are appreciated and loved by many and considered a hero in our family for your advocacy for kids everywhere who are hurting.</p>
<p>Joyce</p>
Staff
2012-04-30T21:21:00Z
Special Birthday Meal Requests
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Special-Birthday-Meal-Requests/-599301988453780536.html
2012-04-27T22:22:00Z
2012-04-27T22:22:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>We began a birthday tradition many years ago with our children. We asked them what they wanted for dinner on their birthdays. Each has never wavered from an original favorite choice. Even though today they are 30, 28, 20 and 18 respectively we still continue the tradition even if they are not home to enjoy it with us.</p>
<p>We lost our son due to a tragic accident at sixteen on April 10th, 1999; he would be 28 now. We still enjoy his birthday request -- tuna noodle casserole -- every April 6th. That particular day and meal sure gives us a special time to think about the many memories Mike left for us.</p>
<p>We are so glad we continue with the "pick your meal" birthday celebrations, it really gives that special birthday even more meaning.</p>
<p>Scott (30+ yr husband)</p>
Staff
2012-04-27T22:22:00Z
I Like Being a Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Like-Being-a-Man/93143612831656051.html
2012-04-26T23:05:00Z
2012-04-26T23:05:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>After reading your books, listening to you for years and enjoying your website, I understand more about what makes me tick and no longer try to be anything but what I want to be - a decent guy. If a woman won't accept that, I politely say goodbye. I am no longer ashamed to hold a door for a lady, and know if she insists on getting her own door she isn't worth my time! If a woman insists on paying half for a dinner, there is not going to be a second meeting! If a woman won't permit me to walk her to her car after dark, she is soon forgotten! It pains me greatly to have to differentiate between a lady and a female, but I am a man and I will not be denied my simple pleasures!</p>
<p>I like being a man! I like getting the door for a lady! I like walking a lady to her car...selfish reason here: I get to spend more time talking with her! I like paying for dinner...especially when she says thank you!</p>
<p>They are all silly little things that don't amount to much, but they make me feel good! Did I mention when I get the door for her, I get to enjoy how she smells as she walks by? That I get to see her smile when I compliment her? I LOVE BEING A MAN!!!!</p>
<p>You have said men are very simple. We really are. We only want the most precious gifts a woman has to give: her time, her love, and her acceptance. Important thing here: we don't want those gifts handed to us, we want to earn them - please indulge us!</p>
<p>Colin</p>
Staff
2012-04-26T23:05:00Z
Not Giving Into Feelings
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Not-Giving-Into-Feelings/337694958797051689.html
2012-04-25T23:33:00Z
2012-04-25T23:33:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Thank you so much on your advice to not act on every feeling one may have. I have struggled with my weight for most of my life (I am 30 and probably 20 pounds overweight). Yesterday, I was feeling fat, disgusting and worthless. I wanted to sit on the couch and eat ice cream and not move. However, since my 18 month old son was born, I found a way to overcome my bad feelings and enjoy the time I have with him. Whenever I feel fat and gross, I do the exact opposite of what I feel like doing. I grab our swim suits and take my little guy to our community pool. He loves to splash, kick and watch the older kids play. There are no supermodels at our pool, just ordinary people of all shapes and sizes trying to get some fitness in. It brings me joy to enable him to do these things. There were some moms and dads sitting on the pool deck, texting or reading and I felt sad for them. They were missing out on tons of fun. A good thing about going to the pool is I can't think about how fat my thighs are because if I don't focus on my toddler and what he needs, he could drown. And I love watching all his cute moments.</p>
<p>As we were leaving the pool, we almost tripped over someone's prosthetic leg. The owner of the leg has not given up on enjoying life, even though she lost a leg. I felt humbled I was feeling so self-conscious that morning.</p>
<p>Thank you for inspiring moms to find the joy in every day. I would have missed out on a great day with my kiddo had I given into my feelings.</p>
<p>Laura</p>
Staff
2012-04-25T23:33:00Z
Habitual Negativity is a No-No
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Habitual-Negativity-is-a-No-No/721241363364155978.html
2012-04-24T20:33:00Z
2012-04-24T20:33:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My wife is wonderful in most respects, and I thank God for her. One habit of hers which turns me off, however, is her reflexive disagreement with things I say. She begins her responses with "No," before I have finished my sentences or even when she agrees with me.</p>
<p>I don't mind if she disagrees with me as long as she has a good reason. I suggested that she give me a reason why her suggestion is better, or ask me questions to see if she understands what I am talking about.</p>
<p>Ladies, when it comes time to bed down for the night, men find it terribly unsexy to lie next to a nattering nabob of negativism. Automatic naysaying doesn't encourage us to share our thoughts and feelings, either. You need not fawn over us or pretend everything we say is brilliant. Just let us finish our sentences and don't begin every response with "no." Listen to us and speak to us as your husbands, not as naughty or ignorant children who need continual correction.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Patrick</p>
Staff
2012-04-24T20:33:00Z
So in Love with You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/So-in-Love-with-You/985616785179740424.html
2012-04-23T20:40:00Z
2012-04-23T20:40:00Z
<p>My husband is serving overseas in the Air Force Guard and we have been extremely close for over 13 years. We still act like newlyweds everywhere we go. I am my husband's girlfriend and lover. He is doing a 6 month deployment and we email each other love letters almost every week, but this one really made my heart weep with joy, knowing you can have the storybook romance if you create it. This letter was titled "So in Love with You."</p>
<p><em>I was walking in Bishkek today with our guide, a cute girl with a fun smile. I couldn't help but be a perfect gentleman with her. At one point she and I were alone (waiting outside on the busy sidewalk, while the others were in the bathroom) and she asked me some personal (relationship and availability) questions while playing with her hair. I smiled to myself knowing I am <strong>your</strong> knight not hers. I actually feel like a knight --. I could take on the bad guys like King Arthur but always return to his Guinevere.</em></p>
<p><em>Tia, this tour has taught me two things: 1) what and where my shortcomings are; and 2) I am a better man than I could have ever dreamed of because of you. You have held me to being my best and I am your hero, a faulted imperfect hero, but yours. I have not once worried about your faithfulness to me, nor have I worried about your ability to take care of things at home. I have only felt alone and incomplete without you, but I know where my heart is and the rest of my soul. I know I will be complete when I am once again in your arms and you are at my side. I hope you like the better and improved me, the one that was old inside and is now starting to feel young. If every girl has ever dreamed of capturing a wild man's heart completely and making it her own, then you have done what others have dreamed and you have me. I love you baby, more than anything on this earth.</em></p>
<p>I have made my man mine, and even though this has been our longest separation through our almost 14 years of marriage with 5 children, he is not going for other women while he is away, and I am not looking at other men. He is mine and I plan on keeping him mine. Men like him do not come around very often. I read all of your books and I put them to use and they really work. I know so, as proven by this letter, which is only one of many he has written me since we were dating, and then married.</p>
<p>Ladies, choose wisely when looking for a husband. Make a list of qualities you want and stick to it. I did, and I got what I wanted and my list was not short. I still have my list and I show it to my 2 older children and they are making wise dating decisions based on my husband's and my examples and advice to them. I am my husband's girlfriend; we choose each other every day. It has been the best decision I have ever made. I only hope my children will be as fortunate as I am.</p>
<p>Tia</p>
Staff
2012-04-23T20:40:00Z
More Productive Than Raising Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/More-Productive-Than-Raising-Children/-142022401624726726.html
2012-04-20T20:55:00Z
2012-04-20T20:55:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura...</p>
<p>When I was teaching middle school, I assigned my 8th graders a 'commentary' warm up -- basically asking them for their reactions to news items of the day.</p>
<p>One particularly hot topic at the time was an “op-ed” article entitled “Why Are All the Type A Women Becoming Moms?” [or words to that effect]. The writer of the article felt women should focus their energy on more “productive” aspects of life, that is, something more productive than raising children. [Imagine that!]</p>
<p>It angered and horrified me. I thought, no wonder kids today have "issues!” But I insisted the students write THEIR ideas. Imagine my surprise and joy when a group of my students responded, "Well, wasn't the women's movement supposed to be about the freedom to make all kind of choices? Why would a writer think raising kids isn't as important as sitting in an office or cubicle?"</p>
<p>Imagine the pride I felt when their response to the article was published in the letters section of our paper!</p>
<p>Thank you for supporting motherhood.</p>
<p>Valerie</p>
Staff
2012-04-20T20:55:00Z
The First Time Ever I Heard Your Voice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-First-Time-Ever-I-Heard-Your-Voice/918193407517868944.html
2012-04-19T23:19:00Z
2012-04-19T23:19:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I didn't know your name but I knew exactly who you were that day I was scanning the AM dial looking for some football talk and heard you say, "My God, you women act like you are sleeping with the enemy!"</p>
<p>I said aloud in my car, "This is that woman! It's gotta be! She wrote that book my ex-fiancee owned that had about five layers of dust on it. What was it called? Oh yeah! "10 Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives." This is her, I just know it!”</p>
<p>And then I listened to caller after caller ask you how their best laid and impossible plans could have failed so miserably, even though they made the exact same mistakes I did. And then I heard you say with your wonderfully sassy sarcasm, "Yes, even though my eyes are green."</p>
<p>So I had lunch in my car the next day, and the next day and the next day. I'll have you know I've missed some really good football talk the past decade because of you, Dr Laura, and I thank you for every minute of it.</p>
<p>John</p>
<p>P.S. That ex-fiancee with the dusty book? Well, she and I work for the same company so I still run into her occasionally. She's since married, has a two-year old daughter and is going to counseling with her husband (who's moved out). She and I are civil toward each other these days, so I bought her a brand-spanking new, non-dusty "Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage" and asked her to please try hard as she can to not let her daughter down.</p>
Staff
2012-04-19T23:19:00Z
How Men See Love and Sex
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Men-See-Love-and-Sex/500031920224810546.html
2012-04-18T22:30:00Z
2012-04-18T22:30:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I tell men and women that, of all the women who post their opinions about how men think, you, Dr. Laura, are light years ahead of your competition. This excerpt from your blog is a really great example:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><em>"…this is the measure that men have of how much we love them -- whether we're willing to accept them (literally) into our bodies, whether we're willing to open up to them -- this is how men register that their woman loves them."</em></p>
</blockquote>
<p>You would think that this is an easy enough concept to grasp, but I am constantly amazed at how few women truly understand this. If you tell a wife this, often you get disbelief, and sometimes even scorn, that her man could think this way! <br /><br />For men, sex IS how they feel accepted and loved, and conversely, when a woman consistently rejects a man sexually they are telling him they don't love him. This flipside seems to be equally confusing for women to understand.</p>
<p>You are exactly right, Dr Laura…and you rock!</p>
<p>Carl</p>
Staff
2012-04-18T22:30:00Z
Happy Birthday, Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Happy-Birthday,-Mom/-555553498019077775.html
2012-04-17T22:45:00Z
2012-04-17T22:45:00Z
<p>My daughter was very difficult to raise, but you helped us through the hard times, and she has grown into a wonderful adult. This is a letter she wrote to me from college - Clara. </p>
<blockquote>
<p>Happy Birthday Mom.<br /><br />I know it's not much, but I decided to write you a letter to tell you everything you mean to me. You are the strongest woman I have ever known. I admire you so much for all you have accomplished and who you are. I hope when I have kids I can raise them as well as you have raised us. It wasn't always easy, but I wouldn't change a thing.</p>
<p>I am so fortunate to have someone who will love me forever unconditionally… someone who can sense the change in my voice and know something is really wrong. You have always been there for me, even when I was horrible to you (sorry). You have done so much for me, like type my papers when I procrastinated, bought certain foods because you knew my friends were coming over, or quizzed me on my Spanish words so I didn't completely flunk my test.</p>
<p>In biology, we studied different animals and behaviors. I was trying to come up with an example for the behavior "altruistic" to put in my notes, and you were the first thing that crossed my mind. “Altruistic” means showing unselfish concern for the welfare of one’s offspring. That one word encased everything you have ever done and continue to do for us. I may not always appreciate you as much as I should, but know every minute of every day I am incredibly grateful you know how to be my mom and my friend and you keep my secrets when there's no one else I can tell.</p>
<p>I love you with all my heart.</p>
<p>Love,<br /> <br />Your daughter</p>
</blockquote>
Staff
2012-04-17T22:45:00Z
It's Not About Things or Perfection
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Not-About-Things-or-Perfection/268454903129011532.html
2012-04-16T21:21:00Z
2012-04-16T21:21:00Z
<p>I listened to a caller who had spent time creating a poster for her daughter's birthday at school, causing her to be late the event, and it reminded me of a time when I felt being "perfect" was required of me.</p>
<p>In my early 20's after I had recently given birth to a daughter born with heart problems. I was busy cleaning up the apartment and finishing up the dishes when my husband came in and said it was time to go to the hospital. I said I just needed to get things tidied up and would be ready in about 20 minutes. He told me he wanted to go now. I kept working.</p>
<p>When I was done I went out to leave with him, and discovered he had already left for the 30 minute drive. I made the drive alone, in tears. It was then I realized he didn't care if the dishes were clean and put away. He wanted to spend the time with our daughter. Our daughter lived only 4 1/2 months.</p>
<p>I learned a very important lesson that day: people are more important than things. The time we spend with our children and grandchildren is what they remember most. Just the other day, my autistic grandson told me, again, how fun our day at Sea World was and he wants to go again on his next birthday. The day together is more important than any "gift" or toy we could give him.</p>
<p>Children don't want perfection; they just want our time.</p>
<p>Thank you for reminding us of that, and continue to encourage families to make their children and their husbands a priority in their lives.</p>
<p>Gayle</p>
Staff
2012-04-16T21:21:00Z
Watching Our Pennies
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Watching-Our-Pennies/170265328371378380.html
2012-04-13T23:19:00Z
2012-04-13T23:19:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I wanted to take a minute to tell you about my wonderful husband. We have four children and have been married 22 years. Things have been a little rough financially for us these last few years. I am a stay-at-home mom and homeschool our children, which means thinking twice about what we spend our money on. </p>
<p>My car was on its last legs with 200,000 miles on it, and we were trying to get it to last long enough to buy my in-laws’ car from them. I found another car I really liked, but after checking it out, my husband felt he really didn't want to spend the money. I don't buy myself much and I always was willing to drive whatever car he bought, our furniture is as old as our marriage etc... I was somewhat unhappy with his decision to not buy the car and started to pout when I realized what I was doing. I told myself to get over it - this man works 65 hours a week to provide a good life for us. Who am I to whine? </p>
<p>Well that weekend, I went out of town for a Rugby tournament for our son (my husband stayed home to work). When I returned home, the garage door wouldn't open. I became very frustrated because I thought here was another broken item: our microwave, dishwasher, dryer and car, all broken in the last month. I went inside to tell my husband what happened. As I headed to the garage, he began to follow me. When I got to the garage, I was completely confused until I suddenly realized he had bought me the car I had asked for. Dr. Laura, I cried. Later, he told me that while I was gone he started thinking about all the things I do and wanted me to know how much he appreciates me. I love him so much.</p>
<p> Thank you Dr. Laura for all you do. I have been listening to you for 17 years and your words of wisdom and books have made me a much better wife.</p>
<p>Temple</p>
<p>P.S. He had a great night!</p>
Staff
2012-04-13T23:19:00Z
Possibility of Change
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Possibility-of-Change/637062985953043646.html
2012-04-12T23:34:00Z
2012-04-12T23:34:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I listen to you every day, and I hear so many callers who have baggage that stems from their childhood. I want to share my husband's story with you.</p>
<p>He grew up in a large city, very rough neighborhood. He was the fourth of five kids, and had an abusive, alcoholic stepfather. When he was about 7, he was beat up by a classmate. He is not a large guy, so he became a target to those who didn't know him. When he came home, his stepfather told him if he ever came home beat up again, he'd beat him even worse. He went back out and found the little boy. The boy's older brother told him he'd have to get through him first, so my husband then proceeded to beat up the brother; then finished off his tormentor. He developed a reputation to not be trifled with, but his biggest tormentor was at home. He was pulled out of bed by his hair during the night, kicked in the tailbone with steel tipped boots, and it goes on and on. Finally at 18, my husband struck and hit back so hard his stepfather had badly blurred vision for a month. Yes, sadly, his mother put up with it.</p>
<p>The point to this story is we have four adult kids: 1 boy and 3 girls. Our son has joined the Marines and each of our girls ADORE their father. He decided long ago not to perpetuate that circle. He is nothing like his stepfather; he is the kindest, most loving and generous man I have ever known. I've never experienced one moment of fear of him. He remains one to not be trifled with - him or our family. I'm amazed every day at the man he's become IN SPITE of his upbringing. He is a REAL man.</p>
<p>Julie</p>
Staff
2012-04-12T23:34:00Z
Appreciate Him While You Can
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Appreciate-Him-While-You-Can/-240018176941518978.html
2012-04-11T22:01:00Z
2012-04-11T22:01:00Z
<p>I read “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” about six years ago. I was a good wife, I believed in the division of labor, and enjoyed being a stay-at-home mom. Once I read your book, I became a much more loving wife, and although he had always been "fed", he was now getting gourmet food because your book helped me understand him better. Our good marriage became a great marriage. He appreciated me so much, always let me know how much he loved me, and felt he was the luckiest man in the world.</p>
<p>He died three months ago, and my one comfort is I was the absolutely best wife I could have been. While I took care of him during his illness, he often said when he was better, he would spend the rest of his life making it up to me for all I did for him. He bragged to all his friends he had the best wife in the world and how blessed he was.</p>
<p>Husbands really do just want to be loved and appreciated, so wives do it while you have the chance. You won't regret it. <br /><br />Dr. Laura, please continue to help women appreciate their husbands. I thank you for making my marriage better.</p>
<p>Joyce</p>
Staff
2012-04-11T22:01:00Z
A Dr. Laura Convert
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Dr.-Laura-Convert/586757229788123325.html
2012-04-10T23:04:00Z
2012-04-10T23:04:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>A few years ago, I moved from New York City to the Pennsylvania suburbs and instead of commuting by subway I started a 45 minute commute by car - each way - 5 days a week. I struggled with finding radio programs to hold my interest while stuck in rush hour traffic. One day, I was flipping through my radio stations and accidentally happened upon one of your programs already in progress. At first I was shocked (imagine me with my mouth hanging open) as I heard you dole out advice that didn't beat around the bush - asking one woman if she wanted to be an unpaid whore (by living with her boyfriend) and asking another woman (who had called to complain about her new husband leaving things all around the house) why she was such a bitch.</p>
<p>Although at first I started listening to you out of pure entertainment, it didn't take long before your advice and messages started to sink in and really resonate with me. That woman who was complaining about her new husband sounded a lot like me. She was making a fuss over the fact he hadn't put the toilet paper back in the special container she had purchased for it. She kept nit-picking all of these "annoying" things he was doing. That particular call changed me and quite possibly saved my marriage.</p>
<p>You asked that young woman was she someone SHE would want to come home to... And I thought to myself, ohhhhh boy... I'm this woman. My poor husband has enough crap to deal with at work and with everyone else in his life. I'm supposed to be his best friend, the one who makes him feel happy to be home, the one who is on his team!</p>
<p>Since that call there have been many others like it. Each time is a reminder to focus on what is really important in my relationship. And to not be so darn petty!</p>
<p>I am one of your listeners who may not agree with 100% of what you believe in, but I think that's what makes my fandom even more special. I love listening to you and you make me think. Even if it's something I don't completely agree with - you make me consider the alternatives and explore why I do the things I do and believe what I believe.</p>
<p>Thank you for being so smart, so intuitive, and so available to your audience. Thank you for helping those of us who may not feel the need to call in, but get so much guidance just by listening.</p>
<p>I wanted to be a psychologist, but my career path changed. Listening to you makes me want to give advice and therapy to others as it is a gift I believe I have to give. But I would definitely need to attend the School of Dr. Laura. So if you are ever thinking about having an apprentice or a Dr Laura in training - I'd love to be that person!</p>
<p>Thank you again and I look forward to listening for a long long time to come!<br />Best,</p>
<p>Kim</p>
Staff
2012-04-10T23:04:00Z
Focusing On the Positive
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Focusing-On-the-Positive/46196313439523824.html
2012-04-09T20:04:00Z
2012-04-09T20:04:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I'm 7 weeks pregnant with our second baby and currently suffering from 'Woe-Is-Me-Syndrome' because of the morning sickness and indescribable fatigue only women who are or have been pregnant can comprehend.</p>
<p>It's been difficult to get stuff done around the house. Since I'm normally a tidy person, it's been driving me a little bonkers to see things haven't been up to snuff because of my recent procrastination. While forcing myself to do some chores, I could feel my heart rate increase and my face get hotter by the second not because of exerting myself physically, but emotionally - and not in a good way.</p>
<p>So I stepped back from my task a little bit and said to myself, "The reason why you feel this way is because you're pregnant. It's completely normal. Chill out. Women have done this for thousands of years and still managed to get their laundry done."</p>
<p>I thought about my husband who, unfortunately, I’ve blamed everything on since he so willingly impregnated me in the first place. Then I thought about our 17-month-old son. My husband is sooo good to him and loves him sooo much. Then I started to cry because I realized we're bringing another little person to love in this world and here I am complaining about dishes that need to be done.</p>
<p>So, as soon as my hubby got home I threw my arms around him and told him despite how crabby (to put it lightly) I've been lately, I am super duper excited to be having another child because I see how much he loves our first.</p>
<p>Usually when Hubby gets home he likes to play with our son for a while and then take some time to wind down. That evening he played with our son up until the little one had to go to bed. I must have unwittingly encouraged him. You use the saying all the time: "You catch more flies with honey." My "honeyed" words made my man feel good, I think, but definitely made me feel good, too!</p>
<p>All these good moments in my life remind me of you. You're the best!</p>
<p>Katherine</p>
Staff
2012-04-09T20:04:00Z
Never Too Young for Sex Education
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Never-Too-Young-for-Sex-Education/-856563219681346378.html
2012-04-06T21:35:00Z
2012-04-06T21:35:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura -</p>
<p>Our two grown daughters are following the belief that they should answer the questions their children are old enough to ask.<br /> <br />One day one of my daughters was driving with her 4 year old son and 7 year old daughter. My grandson asked "Mom, what's an erection?" Without hesitation, my daughter replied "Well, that's when your penis fills up with blood and it gets hard." After a few seconds, my grandson asked "But why are there signs all over town about it?"</p>
<p>It was another few seconds before my daughter realized there were "election" signs all over town. Yup, he must have heard his parents talking about the upcoming event!</p>
<p>Thanks for your wisdom Dr. Laura. I've been listening since your son was a toddler.</p>
<p>Pat</p>
Staff
2012-04-06T21:35:00Z
Seven Magical Words
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Seven-Magical-Words/288829937774376241.html
2012-04-05T20:16:00Z
2012-04-05T20:16:00Z
<p>My son is 22, and has been going through many issues for the past 14 months (which seems like an eternity to me). He was in the Army, married, financially independent, had a car, but was into drugs. Now he's unemployed, divorced, totally broke, car repossessed, but he is clean. I have been doing everything possible to help him through this, and in the process driving myself nuts. His mother and I are divorced so I'm doing this solo. It has totally consumed me and I have been seeing a counselor for the past 4 months. I never imagined I would be dealing with this as a parent. My son is currently "couch surfing" as I could not have him live with me, since he was content with living off of Dad and I had trust issues.</p>
<p>My son knows I love him and would do anything for him; in fact I probably did too much the last year. On your show, I heard you tell somebody when you were in therapy school, you were told something that has stayed with you forever..."YOU CAN'T CARE MORE THAN THEY DO". When I heard this, lights went off in my head enough for a light show at Disneyland and I realized this was my problem. I am caring about things more than he does. I'm caring about him getting a job, getting a roof over his head, caring he has money. The problem is I care more than he does. This doesn't mean I will quit caring about him, but I need to back off pushing him to take care of the issues I deem are important. Nothing is going to happen until he cares, and right now I'm trying to force him to care as much as I do, which isn't working. Those words just made so much sense to me and really opened my eyes.</p>
<p>Thank you for those 7 words. They should be on every parent’s wall. I am going to tell my son about this so he knows why Dad is suddenly getting off his back. When he cares, then I will be there to support his journey back, but until then, I will remember your words..."You can't care more than they do". Thank you again.</p>
<p>Mike</p>
Staff
2012-04-05T20:16:00Z
A Dog's Last Will and Testament
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Dogs-Last-Will-and-Testament/-616905347887716641.html
2012-04-04T22:45:00Z
2012-04-04T22:45:00Z
<p>As a dog owner who lost a young dog a few months ago and went a week or two later to rescue my little “Nugget” from the Humane Society, I wanted to share this poem with you. On your show recently, a woman called who was putting her 13 year old dog to sleep the next day. I was so thankful to hear you recommend they go soon to rescue another dog. I intended to save Nugget, but he has truly saved me!</p>
<p><strong>A Dog's Last Will and Testament</strong><br />(Author unknown)</p>
<p><em>Before humans die, they write their last Will & Testament, and give their home and all they have to those they leave behind. If, with my paws, I could do the same, this is what I'd ask....</em></p>
<p><em>To a poor and lonely stray I'd give:</em></p>
<p><em>My happy home.</em><br /><em>My bowl, cozy bed, soft pillows and all my toys.</em><br /><em>The lap which I loved so much.</em><br /><em>The hand that stroked my fur and the sweet voice which spoke my name. </em><br /><em>I'd will to the sad scared shelter dog the place I had in my human's heart, of which there seemed no bounds.</em></p>
<p><em>So when I die please do not say, "I will never have a pet again, for the loss and pain is more than I can stand." Instead go find an unloved dog; one whose life has held no joy or hope and give MY place to him.</em></p>
<p><em>This is the only thing I can give...the love I left behind.</em></p>
<p><br />There will never be a replacement of my Swiffer or Munchie who was my first major loss when he was 18 years old. But I know I'm honoring their memory by giving a shelter dog the best life a dog could ask for, and he's giving me joy and healing right back!</p>
<p>Dawn</p>
Staff
2012-04-04T22:45:00Z
Arrested! A Good Kick in the Pants
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Arrested!--A-Good-Kick-in-the-Pants/410137564616859837.html
2012-04-03T23:24:00Z
2012-04-03T23:24:00Z
<p>You were absolutely right to tell the parents of a 17 year old girl who threw a wild party while they were out of town, to have her arrested.</p>
<p>I, too, was basically a good kid: a nice, smart girl from an affluent family. But after my parents divorced when I was 15, I really started acting out. I was ditching school, running away from home, and I eventually ended up being arrested for shoplifting. But that was THE BEST THING THAT COULD HAVE EVER HAPPENED TO ME! It scared the living hell out of me (and I only sat in that jail cell for 3 hours)! The Judge ordered me to attend school, bring my failing grades up to passing, and do 60 hours of community service.</p>
<p>Being arrested was exactly the wake-up call I needed. I brought up my grades from F's to A's, never missed a class again, and began my community service at a Senior Center. Being arrested really opened my eyes and helped me turn my entire life around. I've been straight as an arrow ever since. And the best thing to come out of all of it is my community service helped me find a genuine appreciation and admiration for senior citizens. I currently volunteer at my neighborhood Senior Center where I grocery-shop for home-bound seniors every week. I hope those parents follow your advice and have her arrested. It's exactly the kind of kick in the pants she needs.</p>
<p>Amanda (now age 38)</p>
Staff
2012-04-03T23:24:00Z
The Strict Parent
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Strict-Parent/-777321614938344812.html
2012-04-02T23:07:00Z
2012-04-02T23:07:00Z
<p>At times, people have commented about how "strict" my husband and I are as parents: our kids are expected to behave both at home and in public, say "thank you" and "please," they hear the word "no" often, and get time outs when they act out, regardless of where we are at the time. You might even say that we are "meanies." However, I realized something while watching an ongoing issue at my oldest daughter's gymnastics school yesterday, a minor epiphany, if you will.</p>
<p>I have three daughters, ages six, two, and seven months, and while the oldest is taking her lessons, I have the other two with me in an observation area, above the gym. There is a small play area portioned off where we sit so the younger kids can entertain themselves while we wait, and often kids are dropped off in the play area while the adults go off to another separate area to either watch the older kids do gymnastics, or to sit and talk on their cell phones.</p>
<p>There is one boy in particular who comes over to the play area who doesn't play well. He throws toys, get into arguments with other kids, and is generally disruptive. Frequently, his playmates become upset with him, and the only time I see his mother come back is when things become so disruptive she has to intercede. I realized yesterday every time he sees her, she is angry, as, inevitably, are his friends during this period of time.</p>
<p>Here is where my epiphany comes in...although it's not fun enforcing the rules of expected behavior to the kids when needed, I realized I get to spend more time laughing with them than being strict. Although I don't like the way this boy behaves, it occurred to me how sad it was for him that, due to his behavior, most of his social interactions with others involve dealing with people who are angry or upset with him, rather than otherwise.</p>
<p>I realized then how enforcing good behaviors and habits really defines the social interactions our children have with others. I've discussed the concept before, but seeing it in action is something else entirely. If this is the price of leniency for our children, I can deal with being the "meanie."</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Liz</p>
Staff
2012-04-02T23:07:00Z
Men Are Like Water Pumps
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Men-Are-Like-Water-Pumps/-218892514155170904.html
2012-03-30T16:31:00Z
2012-03-30T16:31:00Z
<p>The other night, my husband and I were relaxing on the couch. I was surfing on Pinterest and came across this quote posted by another woman: "Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with."</p>
<p>I shared this with my husband and expressed my sadness for the women who believe it. My husband thought about this for a minute and replied with: "Men are like water pumps. If you pump them everyday they will ALWAYS give you what you want."</p>
<p>I thought that was too well said to not share with you. And, yes, I pump my water pump everyday!</p>
<p>Jessica</p>
Staff
2012-03-30T16:31:00Z
I Forgot I Was Part of a Team
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Forgot-I-Was-Part-of-a-Team/409378813254213082.html
2012-03-30T00:03:00Z
2012-03-30T00:03:00Z
<p>Dear Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I have been listening for years after my husband told me about you. I thought I was doing everything right: holding our family together, doing all the work, and was the only one raising our children. I stayed at home and did it all. I felt my husband was so mean and selfish to put all of this on my shoulders.</p>
<p>After you came out with your book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" I bought it and read it. I realized then it was <strong><em>because</em></strong> of my husband being such a hard worker I was able to stay home with my 6 children. I finally realized I needed to tell my husband just that. I couldn't believe how hard it was for me to say it. I started to tell him thanks and I began to cry uncontrollably. Finally I got hold of myself and told him thanks for working so hard so I could stay home with our children. I told him I was sorry he couldn't do all the things I was able to do with our children because he was working two jobs. I had such a full and wonderful life with our children and I wanted to thank him for providing for us and I was sorry for never telling him thanks.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, for making me see the light. Now instead of believing it was all ME raising our children, I now see it was a team and how important HE was in being the provider. I tell him thanks all the time and that our children turned out so well because we make a good team. He feels bad for missing out on so much because he was working, but I always tell him thanks for that.</p>
<p>He is semi-retired, and that now we have grandchildren, we get to do a ton of things with them. I continue to tell him what a good grandfather and father he is. I told him he can have fun with the grandkids and he does!</p>
<p>Thanks so much for all you do, Dr. Laura</p>
<p>Rosanne</p>
Staff
2012-03-30T00:03:00Z
Parents in Their Cell Phones
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parents-in-Their-Cell-Phones/-869440367418437737.html
2012-03-28T23:00:00Z
2012-03-28T23:00:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,<br /> <br />Love your show!<br /> <br />I was having a lunch date with my 17 year old son the other day; we were at a restaurant on the deck overlooking the river. We were enjoying looking at the fish, feeding them our chips and talking about how big they were – in other words, we were just having fun.<br /> <br />A mom and her daughter (who looked to be about 6 years old), came out and sat at a table next to us. The little girl got up and looked over in the river and said "Mommy, look at the fish." The mom never took her eyes off her cell phone - not once.</p>
<p>As my son and I ate our lunch I kept looking at the mom and daughter. When their food came, the little girl ran around the deck, came back, took a bite of her food then ran some more. Mom was still looking at her cell phone. Never once did I hear the mom utter a word to her daughter. My heart broke for this child.<br /> <br />As the child and mom were leaving, my son said "They sure didn't stay long and did you notice the mom never talked to the little girl?" I smiled at my son, knowing at that moment it's sometimes the little things we do with our kids that matter the most in their lives, like throwing chips to hungry fish and laughing. <br /> <br />Thanks for all you do,<br /> <br />Jamie</p>
Staff
2012-03-28T23:00:00Z
Lessons from Raising Dogs
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lessons-from-Raising-Dogs/-801599527228652135.html
2012-03-27T22:48:00Z
2012-03-27T22:48:00Z
<p>Hi Dr Laura,<br /> <br />My husband and I were out riding our tandem bike with our 6 month old Chesapeake puppy running alongside (our Pomeranian with a heart condition rides in the basket on the back). We went on the bike path that goes underneath a six lane road. Our Chesapeake started to panic and get scared so to the surprise of my husband, I tried to start pedaling really quickly to get us out of there. When my husband asked me what I was doing, I said “We have to get him out of here, he's scared.” My husband's response was "No way. We need to take it slow and get him accustomed to this." So, needless to say, we slowly worked our way underneath this bridge and by the end, our Chessie was acting like nothing had happened.<br /> <br />A few days later I had to chuckle when I was thinking back on this situation and thought about your comments on how men and women have a different role to play in raising kids; in our case our kid is our puppy. I wanted to protect our Chessie and get him out of there, whereas my husband saw the need to let him be uncomfortable and make him face this situation so he could grow and not be scared again. <br /> <br />Sincerely,<br /> <br />Megan</p>
Staff
2012-03-27T22:48:00Z
Growing a Dr. Laura Backbone!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Growing-a-Dr.-Laura-Backbone!/780334963901806764.html
2012-03-26T22:50:00Z
2012-03-26T22:50:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My son is now a strapping 16-year-old and does a fine job of remembering homework assignments, books, his lunch, and it's all thanks to you!</p>
<p>When he was in elementary school, I was guilty of running to school when he forgot his lunch, his assignment, his WHATEVER. Then I heard you talk about allowing a child to fail, so they learn to be responsible on their own.<br /> <br />One morning we were on our way to school and he said, "Oh Mom, I forgot my permission slip for next week's field trip. Can you bring it later? I'll get extra credit for having it in today." I heard you whispering on my shoulder, and I said, "Sorry son, Dr. Laura said I had to grow a backbone. You'll have to bring it in tomorrow." He fell apart, crying, begging, and I felt like ogre-mom. But I stood my ground, and life did carry on.</p>
<p>The NEXT time he forgot something, my answer was the same, and he just sighed and said, "I hate Dr. Laura's backbone!" He would still occasionally forget things, but so much less, and when he did forget, there was no fuss, no muss. So I want to thank the YOU of about 10 years ago, who put me on the right track as a parent, and you can take some credit for the fine man my son will become. By the way, he wants to go into the military, and I know he'll make us BOTH proud!</p>
<p>Thank you for YOUR service to parents everywhere. Love you Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>Becky</p>
Staff
2012-03-26T22:50:00Z
Important for Little and Big Boys
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Important-for-Little-and-Big-Boys/481433534927693100.html
2012-03-23T15:26:00Z
2012-03-23T15:26:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have been listening to you for at least 8 years now, and I have always loved you. You have guided me through husband, family, friends and even work drama! I am now a mommy to two wonderful little kids. My little boy is 4 years old, and he is so insightful! I just had to share this with you, it was so funny!</p>
<p>He loves to help mommy cook. We were making cupcakes for my daughter’s birthday, and he was stirring and stirring the batter. I said, "You are such a good cook! Are you going to cook for mommy when you grow up?" He stopped stirring, thought for about 5 seconds, and said, " No, I gotta get me a wife!" My husband heard it in the other room and we were both just dying laughing!!! It made me think how important we are to our little boys and our big boys, and the caring for them starts early. I had a light bulb moment!</p>
<p>Have a great day!</p>
<p>Annette</p>
Staff
2012-03-23T15:26:00Z
Rating Scale for Wives
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Rating-Scale-for-Wives/675156882760390498.html
2012-03-23T02:32:00Z
2012-03-23T02:32:00Z
<p>I have to take issue with one item from the Rating System for Wives you read on March 20, during the opening of your show. The particular item: wife goes to bed with cold feet and warms them on husband. My late wife Jeannie used to do this all the time. At first it was annoying, but it soon became a game between us. She would put her cold feet on my legs or her cold hands on my back and I would muster up ALL MY STRENGTH to NOT react. I disciplined myself to withstand extreme cold with not so much as a quiver! If I slipped and quivered ever so slightly, Jeannie won. If I didn't, I won. I usually won, but it was very difficult. And then we would both laugh and kiss each other goodnight (or went on to something else. There are many ways to "warm up" as they say.) I miss those times and I miss terribly my Jeannie and her cold feet. She has been gone now these past nine years (breast cancer).</p>
<p>Albert</p>
Staff
2012-03-23T02:32:00Z
It Wasn't Luck. It Was a Choice!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Wasnt-Luck.--It-Was-a-Choice!/37316034146227125.html
2012-03-21T20:57:00Z
2012-03-21T20:57:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am the mom of an almost 2 year old boy. Today when I woke up I had all kinds of plans. We were going to go shopping, meet a friend to look at furniture, a bike ride in the afternoon, etc. While I was getting ready, my boy was very upset and I couldn't figure out why. Turns out he had a fever. My plans were instantly cancelled.</p>
<p>I spent the morning giving medicine, encouraging fluids, and snuggling on the couch. Right now he is taking a nap and I can't help but think of how lucky I am to be a stay-at-home mom. I didn't have to panic trying to figure out what to do with him so I could go to work. I DID NOT have to feel INCONVENIENCED my child is sick and he MESSED UP my work schedule. I am able to just be here for him and take care of my little boy's needs.</p>
<p>But as I kept thinking, I realized it wasn't luck!!! I CHOSE to be here. My husband CHOSE to work hard to keep me home. I CHOSE to give up my career, to live on very little money, to be here for our child. Is this a sacrifice? No! Life is much more simple, relaxed, and HAPPY!!!</p>
<p>Thank you for all your support for stay-at-home moms.</p>
<p>Kathryn</p>
Staff
2012-03-21T20:57:00Z
Technology and Humans
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Technology-and-Humans/-759239421180319638.html
2012-03-20T23:25:00Z
2012-03-20T23:25:00Z
<p>When television was introduced at the 1939 World’s Fair, it was touted as the ultimate teaching tool. The world could literally send knowledge out to the people, and enlightenment would ensue. By the 1950s, it was being called "The Boob Tube".</p>
<p>In the 1990s the newly budding internet was aptly being called "The Information Super Highway". Today, it's the vast electronic waste land.</p>
<p>It's not the technology; it's the people who use it. This new information is only highlighting human baseness, amplifying stupidity, and even promoting ignorance. Looking at recent movies and television programming only illustrates the effect even more.</p>
<p>Human relationships are cultivated, not found online. Next time you move to a new home, contact all your Facebook pals, and see how many show up to help. I've often heard about what kind of world we're leaving our kids. I worry about what kind of kids we are leaving the world.</p>
<p>John</p>
Staff
2012-03-20T23:25:00Z
Don't Stand By and Do Nothing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dont-Stand-By-and-Do-Nothing/759085807003720436.html
2012-03-19T20:56:00Z
2012-03-19T20:56:00Z
<p>There was a big discussion in our school district about bullying and how it is perpetrated by a very small percentage of students. What wasn't mentioned, and the biggest problem to my mind, is all the students who stand by and do nothing.</p>
<p>It reminded me of an incident when my son was in the 5th grade. He was staying after school to play basketball and I had just gotten there to pick him up. Another student had come to join in the game and he was a very overweight kid (my son at the time said he was "bulky"). The kids playing told him to go away, teased him and started throwing the basketball at him. I was about to head over and break it up when my son grabbed the ball and in a very commanding voice (especially for a 5th grader) announced "there is no reason he can't play with us; if you have a problem you can just leave now.” There was a moment of silent tension followed by resuming the game.</p>
<p>My son was not a big or imposing kid, but he did know how to stand up for what's right. It was one of my proudest moments as a dad. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that he is a Sergeant in the Marine Corps now -- I guess standing up for what's right is just in his nature.</p>
<p>Pete</p>
Staff
2012-03-19T20:56:00Z
Addiction and Recovery
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Addiction-and-Recovery/412930993180841636.html
2012-03-17T00:06:00Z
2012-03-17T00:06:00Z
<p>I was a drug addict who began with marijuana at 13 years old and graduated to methamphetamine and opiates over the course of the next 20 years. What finally got me to come clean was losing everything and hitting rock bottom. I lost my family, my job and everything else and then the drugs stopped working. Using drugs was enjoyable for a lot of years, then it became like torture to use anything. I would use because I had to and then languish for hours waiting for the effects to wear off. It became so horrible I prayed to God over and over to help me recover from this affliction. One day I said, "This is it!" stopped using cold turkey and slowly made a recovery one agonizing step at a time.</p>
<p>Looking back on it all, I know the exact point where I hit rock bottom but at the time I was so screwed up it wasn't clear. All I knew at the time was that drugs no longer did the job and I needed to figure out what to do to stop using and become a productive member of society. It was a very slow process, but over the course of the last 9 years, I made a total recovery. Today I work full time, my wife stays home with the kids and I thank God every day for answering my prayers.</p>
<p>And The Dr. Laura Show played a part in helping me to understand how a husband and a father should live.</p>
<p>I'd like to add my sister who is a college grad and successful social worker was raised in the same home I was, but in a totally different fashion. She received a lot of nurturing from my father while I received a lot of physical and mental abuse which eventually led me to try pot in an attempt to fit in with the cool kids. I love her dearly but sometimes it seems like she is from another planet. Of course addicts always have an excuse for their poor behavior but the point I'm trying to make is the initial thing that drove me to try drugs was a deep need to feel like I belonged somewhere<br />instead of being a perpetual inconvenience.</p>
<p>John</p>
Staff
2012-03-17T00:06:00Z
Out of the Mouths of Babes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Out-of-the-Mouths-of-Babes/-157577904030651366.html
2012-03-15T20:43:00Z
2012-03-15T20:43:00Z
<p>I received a few jokes from my grandmother today in an email. I really strive to listen to the advice of this woman who successfully raised 3 of her own children and 3 of her husband's children (both were widowed when they married). This one caught my eye especially as I am raising my own children!</p>
<p>A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to 'Honor thy father and thy mother,' she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'</p>
<p>Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, 'Thou shall not kill..'</p>
<p>From the mouths of babes!! LOL! Thank you for being the voice of not only reason, but responsibility!</p>
<p>Cindy</p>
Staff
2012-03-15T20:43:00Z
My Not-So-Lovey-Dovey Husband's Love Letter
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Not-So-Lovey-Dovey-Husbands-Love-Letter/504375359956984753.html
2012-03-14T23:37:00Z
2012-03-14T23:37:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I began listening to your program shortly after I was married. Initially I was offended at your bluntness and interruptions. However, I continued to listen and gained some beautiful insights into my own life over the years.</p>
<p>I want to tell about one: During the first few months of listening to you I heard you say something to the effect of "Are you the kind of person you would want to come home to?" I realized I was not. I was whiny and selfish and certainly not looking at things from my husband's perspective. From that day, I changed. I started to act like his girlfriend. He was already a good man, but was weighed down by the burden of his wife not being happy. As I changed, his burden became lighter. I am forever grateful for him. He would swim across shark infested waters to bring me a glass of lemonade, even though he is not a good swimmer. He is not a man who is "lovey dovey" and does not frequently express his emotions. When I received this email from him out of the blue, I sat and read it through my tears. I will always treasure it. I wanted to share it with you and to say thank you for giving me the keys to change my marriage and my future.</p>
<p>The email was entitled: Why do I love my wife so much?</p>
<p><em>I love my Kimmy so much because:</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>*She is my best friend. </em><br /><em>*She is good to me. She does everything for me. </em><br /><em>*She always supports me in everything that I do and any decisions I make. </em><br /><em>*She never complains about silly things. </em><br /><em>*She takes good care of our kids. </em><br /><em>*She takes good care of her body. (loved that one) </em><br /><em>*She takes good care of our house. </em><br /><em>*She takes good care of our animals. </em><br /><em>*She is always looking for a better way to make us better as a family.</em></p>
<p><em>There are so many more things about you I appreciate. I'm truly a lucky man.</em></p>
<p>Thanks again.</p>
<p>Kim</p>
<p><br />P.S. No one else calls me Kimmy. If I hear it from anyone I automatically know they will treat me with respect because they are a friend of my dear husband.</p>
Staff
2012-03-14T23:37:00Z
Favorite Thing to Do in the World
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Favorite-Thing-to-Do-in-the-World/-92825018359145615.html
2012-03-14T00:51:00Z
2012-03-14T00:51:00Z
<p>Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I have listened to your show for a long time and appreciate your perspective on life.</p>
<p>I wanted to relay to you something that happened last weekend.</p>
<p>Most Sundays I take a morning Jacuzzi with our 3 year old son and 6 year old daughter. We have snacks while playing children's games like "I Spy" and the "Guessing Game".</p>
<p>Last Sunday the game de jour was the Guessing Game and my daughter started with the question "What do you think is my favorite thing to do in the world?"</p>
<p>Characteristically as a male adult I began to rattle off those activities I thought a child would most enjoy. My guesses went on and on....the daddy daughter dance, working in the garden or cooking together, making smores, riding the tractor, going to the dollar store, painting projects in the garage, the vacations we take, hiking in the woods, making our bonfires or playing soccer (which I coach). None of these were the correct answer.</p>
<p>Finally exhausted, I gave up and asked her what was her favorite thing in the world? She replied "spending time with my family". She went on to say "I don't care about the vacations or where we go or what we do. I just like to be with my family." I am not an overly emotional guy, but nearly choked up in tears. Sometimes as an adult I attach significance to activities and often spending money. In then end, my daughter did not care about what we do or how much it cost - but instead just being together.</p>
<p>Thanks for all of your wisdom and insight.</p>
<p>Jim</p>
Staff
2012-03-14T00:51:00Z
Living Life Right
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Living-Life-Right/918129916122518980.html
2012-03-12T21:55:00Z
2012-03-12T21:55:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I want to tell you of a great story. My husband of 30 years was just diagnosed with cancer (with a 95% recovery prognosis). That's not the "great" part. The great part is after hearing this diagnosis we didn't have a "wake up call" where we wished we had treated one another better. Every day we have lived our lives loving one another.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Evin</p>
Staff
2012-03-12T21:55:00Z
Making My Marriage Better
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-My-Marriage-Better/-326974114339241335.html
2012-03-09T23:50:00Z
2012-03-09T23:50:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Hello! I realized this morning it's time to thank you for all I've learned from you, and how each incremental move I make to show my husband he is loved comes back to me in wonderful ways.</p>
<p>Lately, since I need to get up early to feed my daughter breakfast before school (she leaves the house at 6:30), I've been making the occasional breakfast for my honey as well, and sending many more lunches from home than before. My old attitude was: "he's a grown up - he can get his own lunch". (I do all of the cooking and feeding around here, so his lunch needs were a little break for me and he'd go out to lunch with work friends). Well, I really think those lunches I pack make him feel cared for and happy. I also know looking cute for him takes some effort, but it really means a lot to him. And of course, my whole attitude about a man's need for sex has changed - it's not that I was withholding before, just I didn't make it a priority. Now I realize how men are wired, and it makes ALL the difference to physically show him he's loved. The changes from him aren't overwhelming, but his level of appreciation for me is palpably more solid, and that's what works for me.</p>
<p>Another bonus is that we laugh a lot more. That's really the best.</p>
<p>Thanks, Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>Jackie</p>
Staff
2012-03-09T23:50:00Z
Still Glad to be a Stay-at-Home Mom!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Still-Glad-to-be-a-Stay-at-Home-Mom!/-833456857254355101.html
2012-03-08T23:43:00Z
2012-03-08T23:43:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />My youngest daughter is 16 years old. Thanks to you, I made the decision to be a stay at home mom when I found out I was pregnant with her. Coincidentally, it was the same week her oldest sister came home from school and announced she wanted to be a Brownie. My husband and I could not imagine how the two of us would get her to Brownies, with both of us having full time jobs 30 minutes away from the school she attended. That night we decided enough was enough, our kids deserved more. I resigned the next morning and found out I was pregnant with our third daughter that night. The stress level in our home decreased by 1000% that very day! <br /><br />My husband took on the job of being the sole bread earner for our family and I became responsible for running our home and making sure our kids were happy, relaxed, and enjoying school. I enjoyed being a stay at home mom, but never more so than on the days the school would call and say one of my daughters was ill and needed to come home. Gone were the negotiations with my husband over who could take time off easier or who would call their mother and ask them to get OUR sick child and take care of them until we could get off of work. I prided myself on being able to pick up a sick child within minutes of that call from school. They were home and on OUR couch or in THEIR bed! Today our 'baby' who is 16 needed to come home due to a migraine headache. Once again I was at school and had her home within minutes. She took a short nap, ate a good lunch and is already back in her AP History class taking an exam. She's a wonderful girl, a great student and appreciated me being able to help her take care of herself today. <br /><br />Her older sisters turned out pretty good too. Our oldest daughter is in law school on a full academic scholarship. She attended college on a full tuition academic scholarship as well. Our middle daughter is completing her undergraduate education this year. She too earned a full tuition, academic scholarship. She is currently fielding offers from several graduate programs for full or partial scholarships. One school even wants to pay her a stipend to attend their grad school! <br /><br />Dr. Laura, this note is several years late. I should have written and thanked you years ago for giving me the strength to make the decision to quit working. Thanks to you, I stayed at home and supported my children and husband. My children and my marriage have benefited in so many ways! I have volunteered my 'extra' hours to local charities and have help to raise millions of dollars to support various philanthropic activities. I haven't wasted a minute of the last 16 years. I am sincerely grateful to you for your work and your contribution to my very successful family. <br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Susan</p>
Staff
2012-03-08T23:43:00Z
The Only Activity That Made a Difference to Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Only-Activity-That-Made-a-Difference-to-Me/-829599008112920800.html
2012-03-07T22:00:00Z
2012-03-07T22:00:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I participated in a variety of after school activities - ballet, karate, softball, theater, basketball, volleyball, track, and then finally in high school I did swim. <br /><br />I'm 26 now, and I think I have fairly good and accurate memory of my childhood. <br /><br />I would say all those activities I just mentioned did not make me a better person. The activities I did when I was younger, I remember feeling scared, helpless, shy, and unsure. I think that's because my parent's just dropped me off and didn't stick around. In high school, I was expected to do a sport by my family, and I got myself to swim practice every day after school and 2 times a week at 5am before school started. I got less sleep, my grades suffered, I had coaches who were only concerned with the best swimmers (which I was not one of...). Overall, I would say the activities<br />didn't do anything for me. I would have rather spent that time with my parents (who were always just too busy). I can count on one hand the number of swim meets they went to. It was just a draining experience. <br /><br />The ONLY activity I did after school that I enjoyed and I feel like made me a better person was when my grandmother gave me piano lessons once a week for a couple hours. We started when I was about 7 and I will always cherish those times with her. I remember how proud she was of me when I learned a song. I remember feeling so warm and fulfilled every time we were together doing piano lessons. I think it's because I had someone who loved me and wanted to just spend time with me. All of those other activities - the coaches or instructors or whoever else - it's just their job. They don't want to actually spend meaningful time with us. But when a family member is really involved in teaching their kid or grandkid something - that's what matters. That's what I remember and piano is still one of my passions because MY grandmother taught me. <br /><br />I think everyone has some kind of talent. A lot of my talents I taught myself after I graduated high school. I learned how to play tennis, and I learned how to cook and I learned to be a great cake decorator. I think the best thing I can do is to teach my own kids some of the talents I have. I don't care if my kids don't grow up to be the best soccer player. I care more they had memories with me teaching them and having fun with them. That is more fulfilling than being good at everything and being "well-rounded" before you turn 18.<br /><br />Nicole</p>
Staff
2012-03-07T22:00:00Z
Valuable Lesson I Learned as a Teen
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Valuable-Lesson-I-Learned-as-a-Teen/268562483765200553.html
2012-03-07T00:19:00Z
2012-03-07T00:19:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>When I was 12, my dad, with whom I'm very close with, came to me, sat me down and said to me, "You are about to be a teenager soon. When you're a teenager, you will think you are the smartest person in the world. And when you think that, just keep in mind you will be at the dumbest period of your life."</p>
<p>My parents separated when I was 16 and my dad moved out. But thanks to my dad's lesson, I didn't do anything dumb (like get into drugs, alcohol, or sex). I graduated in the top 10 of my high school class, got a engineering degree, and was able to support myself right out of college. My dad has since gone back to his home country to take care of his aging parents.</p>
<p>When I have kids, I will give them the same lesson my dad gave me. Thank you, Dr. Laura for being a guiding light.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Cindy</p>
Staff
2012-03-07T00:19:00Z
'Boring' Sex
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Boring-Sex/223186732585181279.html
2012-03-06T02:18:00Z
2012-03-06T02:18:00Z
<p>I had to comment on the idea that sex could ever be boring.</p>
<p>My hubby and I have been together for almost eleven years. It has never crossed my mind our sex life is boring, despite the fact we do almost the same things every time. I look at it this way: milk chocolate tastes the same every time, but I wouldn't pass up a Hershey's kiss if someone offered me one.</p>
<p>Thanks,</p>
<p>Megan</p>
Staff
2012-03-06T02:18:00Z
My Amazing REAL Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Amazing-REAL-Man/-665393403758535019.html
2012-03-03T01:15:00Z
2012-03-03T01:15:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I listen to you mainly by podcast, so I am behind regarding a chosen topic, but when I heard you talk about Real Men I had to write in.</p>
<p>You talked about the qualities of a Real Man, and as I listened I was not surprised to note my husband possesses every one of those qualities. I was only 20 when I picked him, but contrary to statistics, mine was a wise choice, and I knew it even then. My dad is also a Real Man, so I know he was a great role model for me.</p>
<p>My husband consistently puts my needs and the needs of our four children ahead of his own. He takes pride in providing for and protecting our family. He has integrity, strength, and an abiding love for me and our family. We have three daughters and a son, and I am confident they will choose well, like I did. I let him know daily how much he means to me. His happiness is imperative to mine. He deserves a good wife, and I am committed to being his one and only. We will celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary this summer. I am indeed a lucky woman. Thanks for letting me brag on my man.</p>
<p>Bonnie</p>
Staff
2012-03-03T01:15:00Z
Should Have Listened to You!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Should-Have-Listened-to-You!/-160031469294794178.html
2012-03-01T22:43:00Z
2012-03-01T22:43:00Z
<p>I am quite sure you get a lot of "I should have listened to you" emails, but here is another one. In 2003, I divorced my daughter's dad. In 2008, I remarried. Every day prior to the wedding, I would wait in the car line at my daughter's school listening to you tell stories of how second marriages with step-children usually end in divorce and the step-parent would not treat the child as his own. I would think it would never happen to me.</p>
<p>Fast forward a few months after the wedding and it was completely obvious my now ex-husband was extremely jealous of the relationship with my 8 year old daughter and, therefore, treated her horribly. He would actually say he was counting down the days until she was 18 so she would leave and I would only pay attention to him. I would have never fathomed this person I married could say such mean things to a child. It was a living nightmare. We tried counseling for several months but it was apparent things would never change. Because my daughter is the most important thing in my life, I divorced him in 2009.</p>
<p>The good news is I am now taking your advice and not dating until my daughter is 18. My friends think I am crazy but I don't care. My daughter is now 12 and for the next 6 years my goal is to focus on raising her to be a well-adjusted, moral adult. No man will ever come between my daughter and me because I won't put us in that position again. My daughter and I have a great life together and she loves she gets me to herself. To make life even better, when she is at school, I am at work and when she is out of school, I am with her.</p>
<p>Thank you for your wonderful advice. I am glad I finally decided to take what you say literally: I am my kid's mom.</p>
<p>Jenny</p>
Staff
2012-03-01T22:43:00Z
Grateful for My Stay at Home Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Grateful-for-My-Stay-at-Home-Husband/984994580086073614.html
2012-03-01T01:49:00Z
2012-03-01T01:49:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am a proud Mommy of 4 daughters ages 17,15,13 and 10. I also work full time and have a wonderful husband of 21 years. Thirteen years ago when I was expecting our third child I knew one of us had to stay home. Our daughters 2 and 4 spent no more than 25 hours a week with a babysitter at our home, but I knew they needed us.</p>
<p>As I listen to many of your callers I realize not ONCE in 13 years has my husband EVER complained about the burden of being home. Each day I come home to a clean house, a good meal and happy girls who know we both love them enough to give them what they deserve.</p>
<p>It's never easy doing the right thing, but it is worth it. Our oldest daughter will be going off to college in the fall and I know my husband will never regret the times he spent with her. I had flexibility in my job and once school began I was fortunate to not miss much. Knowing that when I'm not there he is, has been a blessing.</p>
<p>I just finished your book the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands and promise to continue to take good care of mine. He has been taking good care of us!</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Dale</p>
Staff
2012-03-01T01:49:00Z
Sexy Mommy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sexy-Mommy/-805991663793725770.html
2012-02-29T00:37:00Z
2012-02-29T00:37:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I wanted to share how your wisdom has helped me.</p>
<p>My husband and I have a 4 month old baby. As you can imagine, our sex life has slowed down a bit. The other night we had some time to ourselves. We started to fool around, but I started to have an “emotional moment” about my new mommy body. My husband is so great. He told me how he still found me sexy, and I was able to get past my breakdown, but the moment was pretty much ruined.</p>
<p>Instead of letting it pass, however, I got things rolling again! I knew how unfair it was to him, getting him all excited, with no end reward. And I knew we don't have many opportunities for intimate time. So, I pulled myself together and had some playtime on the couch with my honey! If I would've listened to how I felt inside, I would've put my clothes back on and gone to sleep, but I sealed the deal, because my husband and my marriage are important to me. <br /> <br />Thanks Dr. Laura!<br /> <br />Diana</p>
Staff
2012-02-29T00:37:00Z
Don't Make the Same Mistakes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dont-Make-the-Same-Mistakes/703766985321731049.html
2012-02-27T21:52:00Z
2012-02-27T21:52:00Z
<p>I’ve often wondered if alcoholism was hereditary. My mom is a recovering alcoholic.</p>
<p>I began drinking at age 15. Mom would buy booze for me and my friends to have parties at our house while my dad was at work. I wasn't drinking every day -- just at parties. I graduated high school, and went to work at a bank. I was responsible when it came to work, and got promoted to loan officer within five years.</p>
<p>I mixed it up on the weekends with the wrong crowd. There were many times I would wake-up from being out partying the night before and look out the window to see if my car was there. I often didn't remember what had happened the night before. I awoke one morning to realize I was miserable and didn't like my job, the stress from my mom's drinking, and from feeling ill A LOT. I took charge!</p>
<p>My dad has always been my hero. He loved his job as a firefighter. So, I enrolled in EMT school, loved it, got a job on an ambulance and continued schooling to become a paramedic. I then put myself through a fire academy. I started that journey at age 25 and became a paramedic at age 27 and a firefighter at age 30. I worked as a paramedic for 10 years and firefighter for 5 years.</p>
<p>I retired because I met the man of my dreams and now am happily married with 3 children. I love being a wife and stay-at-home mom; no job is more rewarding. I believe one thing that helped me too, was your book "10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives." I think I did almost all of them and it took awhile for me to admit you were right. Hoping I can keep my kids from making the mistakes I did.</p>
<p>Thank you for all you do.</p>
<p>Tammy</p>
Staff
2012-02-27T21:52:00Z
Sometimes You Have to Give Them the Boot
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sometimes-You-Have-to-Give-Them-the-Boot/-330580418384242427.html
2012-02-24T23:43:00Z
2012-02-24T23:43:00Z
<p>I was so glad you validated again and again a caller who gave her son the boot. I "high-fived" myself, because I also gave my son the boot some 15 years ago.</p>
<p>I feared things would go bad, but listening to you gave me the insight to make that decision. I heard the caller say she didn't care anymore. I also said I didn't care, but I know it was because I cared so much and had to harden my senses for a time. My son lived on the street and with various friends for a couple years. He produced a son out of wedlock. He then split with the son's mother and married someone else. Even though the child's mother was not innocent, we took both of them under our wing. I wondered how bad it would go with my son, and as the woman on your program did, we wondered when, and if, it would ever end.</p>
<p>We did end with good news. Five years into his “adventure" he joined the Marines at age 22. From that time to the present, he came full circle. He became gainfully employed as a result of his experience with the Marines, married the first child's mother, had 2 additional children and is raising the whole household as a “man's man.” They’re a little bit on the poor side, but he realizes that is because he lost ground as a teenager. And the kids are being home-schooled on top of it. </p>
<p>I’ve often wondered how it would have turned out differently if we would have catered to his “brattiness.” SO, THANK YOU DR. LAURA!</p>
<p>Shelley</p>
Staff
2012-02-24T23:43:00Z
Family 'Rude' Night
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Family-Rude-Night/-298652423633858771.html
2012-02-23T21:58:00Z
2012-02-23T21:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I was recently reminded of one of the crazier things I did in an effort to teach my children proper table manners. At the time, they were 9 and 5 and although gentle reminders were made at every meal, it was frustrating because I had to repeat the same things day after day ("Sit up straight;" "Don't reach across the table;" "Don't talk with your mouth full," etc).</p>
<p>One day I came up with an incentive program that will forever live in infamy at our house...I told the kids if they could go 5 nights in a row with perfect manners, the 6th night would be family "rude" night. I didn't really know what I would be in for, but the first night started with such enthusiasm, that the kids were saying things like, "Dear Brother, could you pass the salt please?" I was floored they were aware of such politeness! The manners went way above and beyond what even I had taught them.</p>
<p>Lo and behold, 5 days like that went by and on family "rude" night, you can't imagine the rude table manners that came out!!! Feet on the table while we ate, armpit “sounds” and the 'piece de resistance' was when my 5 year old mooned us! We never laughed so hard! It was at that moment I realized the true value of a family meal - and sometimes, it's ok to let go of formality and JUST HAVE FUN WITH YOUR KIDS!</p>
<p>Thank you for all of the wisdom you impart.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Danielle</p>
Staff
2012-02-23T21:58:00Z
Searching for a New Perfume
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Searching-for-a-New-Perfume/53903156383819996.html
2012-02-22T22:10:00Z
2012-02-22T22:10:00Z
<p>I have been wearing the same perfume now for many years, and although I still like it, I don't love it anymore. I’ve been searching for a replacement scent but haven’t found one yet. I’ve been to department stores, beauty stores, bath & body stores and have even succumbed to "sniffing" my girlfriends, but I've yet to find the perfect perfume. Not because I don't like the selections, but because my husband hasn't liked any of the perfumes I have tried. Some I like - but he doesn't. Some he likes - and I don't.</p>
<p>Why do I write this email? To tell you the almost identical responses I have gotten at all these stores and sadly, from some of my girlfriends. When I tell a salesperson or girlfriend that I don't want to purchase any perfume yet because I want my husband's approval, I am met with silence or a hesitantly and drawn out "okay".</p>
<p>I always feel compelled to justify my comment with, "Well, if my husband was wearing cologne I didn't like, I'd ask him to stop wearing it." THAT the women understand. If it is about them and what they like or dislike then that is ok. But to take into consideration the fact their husbands might not like something they like never occurred to them or worse, they just don't care.</p>
<p>Truth be told, although I want my husband to like whatever perfume I wear - it is also a bit self-serving. I like it when he can't stay away from me (even when I playfully have to keep slapping his hands away).</p>
<p>Women need to wise up. I'd rather have my husband sniffing <strong><em>me</em></strong> up than sniffing up some other woman.</p>
<p>Jody</p>
Staff
2012-02-22T22:10:00Z
Marital Conflict Averted!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Marital-Conflict-Averted!/-606287588686487421.html
2012-02-21T23:20:00Z
2012-02-21T23:20:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>I have been feeling very overwhelmed lately - overworked and over-taxed with no down time. Since I have taken on a 2-day per week job, my home responsibilities haven't changed at all. I’m not a mother, but I live in South Africa in a thatched (grass roof) house that creates a lot of daily work due to raining dirt little bugs, and gecko poop. I know…why on EARTH would anybody live in a place like this? Thatched roof houses do look nice on the inside, Dr. Laura! <br /> <br />Anyway, my expectation that my husband would automatically do the stuff I do on the days he is home and I am working, have just not materialized. Yesterday when I left for work, I DID NOT empty the dishwasher or the trash, thinking SURELY he would do it. But he didn't. When I discovered last night the dishwasher was still full and he'd just worked around it to make his food…that was it. <br /> <br />Although I was fuming inside, I very calmly made a list of daily items that need to be tended to or at least checked every single day here at our house. When he is away working, I do this AND MUCH MORE, and when I am working and he is home, I'd like him to do these general daily maintenance items so I don't have to come home and work MORE. So during a commercial break on the news I just lowered the sound on the TV and said with a very calm, not nasty attitude, "I'd like to have a quick chat. I am feeling overworked and overwhelmed. I am working too much. I need your help. Here is a list of items I'd like you to help me with on the days I am working and you are not:</p>
<p>Whoever works outside the home, the other is responsible that day for the following items, checking to see if any or all of these need to be done:</p>
<p>Emptying the dishwasher<br />Cleaning up any poop anywhere in the house<br />Sweeping or vacuuming the floors<br />Mopping the floors<br />Making the bed<br />Cleaning the stove<br />Carrying out the trash<br />Doing laundry - washing it, hanging it out, putting away the pins, and putting the laundry away <br />Keeping water in the dog's dish<br />Checking the outside stoop plants for watering needs<br />Cleaning the poop/bugs out of the bathtub</p>
<p>He said, "Okay. I'll do it." <br /> <br />End of discussion. No fighting. No ugly attitudes on either part. Done.</p>
<p>I think now that he has very clear direction, he will do it. I should've thought of this way earlier. You're right, Dr. Laura, men are simple and usually pretty agreeable if we make our needs known without being nasty about it.</p>
<p>Thanks for your Podcasts. They are a highlight of my days.</p>
<p>Cheers,</p>
<p>Sheri, in the bush of South Africa<br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/sheri_safari_500.jpg" alt="Sheri's husband taking folks on safari" width="500" height="333" /></p>
Staff
2012-02-21T23:20:00Z
A Silly Card for My Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Silly-Card-for-My-Man/-587507721288064908.html
2012-02-17T23:48:00Z
2012-02-17T23:48:00Z
<p>Last year I was helping some fourth graders make their Valentines for their parents. So I made one of my own for my husband of almost nineteen years. Here is what it said:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>"To My Valentine: You know you have my heart... "</em><br />(and then inside the card) <br /><em>"But other parts of me are available upon request!"</em></p>
<p>It was just a simple, silly card for my man. Here's what made it really special. He just told me he has been carrying that color-crayoned piece of paper around in his pants pocket for the past year. <br /> <br />Now THAT'S my kind of Valentine!<br /> <br />Terrie</p>
Staff
2012-02-17T23:48:00Z
Our Overscheduled Culture
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-Overscheduled-Culture/864718913536382590.html
2012-02-16T21:52:00Z
2012-02-16T21:52:00Z
<p>Our family is not overscheduled, with our two children (10 and 13) but it is a busier routine than we ever experienced 40 years ago when we were their same age. My husband and I often discuss this. We allow each child two outside activities, and since they share one (4-H) it doesn't destroy our family time. Also, we homeschool, so we see lots of one another!</p>
<p>When my husband and I were children, we had perhaps one activity, or maybe two. But they were after school, and we walked to them, so they didn't involve parents. We didn't spend lots of time in the car, and usually the siblings were not "sentenced" to watching endless practices of their older brother or sister.</p>
<p>The new arrangement, we think, is the result of our changing culture. Kids aren't safe outside; moms aren't home to keep an eye on the neighborhood. Our kids can't run down the street to the park, or walk a mile to an activity as we did at their age. There aren't many other children out "running around" the neighborhood and, beyond the street where we live, we don't know many folks -- we all live that "garage door" existence. It's sad, but true.</p>
<p>We NEED outside activities to provide both social opportunities and physical exercise for our growing children. These things used to be built into the culture. In those days, the neighbors pretty much reinforced what we taught at home, and we knew lots of moms were looking out for us. It's sad this has changed. But I am thankful for the wonderful families we have met, and with whom we attend activities with our children - we are providing a caring and stable community for them that way. We meet often, but it always involves a car ride. (That's where recorded books come in, but that's another topic!)</p>
<p>Sandy</p>
Staff
2012-02-16T21:52:00Z
My Boy's About Face
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Boys-About-Face/-852133703085493187.html
2012-02-15T22:59:00Z
2012-02-15T22:59:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I wrote you a few years ago about what military boot camp did for my unmotivated 13 year old son. He is now 16 years old, in his third year at a marine military academy and was just promoted to Cadet Staff Sergeant last week. His dream is to be accepted into the Naval Academy, serve in the U.S. Marine Corps, and then perhaps go into law enforcement.</p>
<p>All I can tell you is my son is doing incredibly well and I am so grateful for your advice to callers about the importance of boys being raised by strong alpha males. Since his father is unable to provide that type of structure and discipline, and I am just a mommy type, this school is preparing him to be a man and a leader.</p>
<p>If it weren't for you promoting military school for boys, we never would have considered it nor had the guts to actually do it. I miss my son all the time, but I know this sacrifice is preparing him for a future we were not equipped to provide him. Just because we love him doesn't mean we know how to discipline or motivate him. The only Marine Corps Junior ROTC High School in the country, Marine Military Academy and their staff of all retired US Marine Corps Drill Instructors know exactly how to raise a boy into a man. The expectations are high, the structure is tight, the discipline is swift, and the pride these boys have in themselves is evident by the way they stand tall in their uniforms, look adults in the eye and shake hands with confidence.</p>
<p>Thank you and God bless you!</p>
<p>R. - A Proud Mommy Type</p>
Staff
2012-02-15T22:59:00Z
Just Stay Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Just-Stay-Home/660778132074632320.html
2012-02-14T23:05:00Z
2012-02-14T23:05:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura-</p>
<p>I am a (predominantly) stay-at-home wife with a wonderful, caring, generous husband. I "work" two nights a week at a dance studio teaching ballet to ages ranging from 3-7, and then 9-17. I love teaching, but I am also expecting our first child this summer.</p>
<p>My dear husband and I were talking a few days ago about the baby and I mentioned to him I was undecided as to whether I wanted to continue teaching dance after the baby was born. On the one hand I could bring him/her with me to class, but I have concerns about exposing our child to the numerous diseases I see paraded through constantly. (Parents please- if your child is too sick to go to school, then they're too sick for their extra-curricular activities as well!) On the other hand, I didn't think I wanted to tie myself down to a commitment that might induce me to find a sitter because it's more convenient. As I expressed these thoughts to my husband, he looked down at his hands and then over to me and said "Just stay home. It's my job to take care of both of you." As soon as he said that my heart melted once again for this amazing and caring man I have.</p>
<p>I try every day to make sure he knows how much I appreciate and love him. He is a strong, assertive, protective provider and I have never been in need of anything as long as we've been married. When people ask why I married him, I tell them it is because he's the only man I didn't intimidate (I'm quite tall). It sounds silly, but for a woman who intimidated every man she had ever gone out with, the confidence was a refreshing change. Because of his confidence, I knew I could let down my guard and he would protect me at any cost. I am never afraid when he is around. He is the classic “Real Man,” and I am the luckiest woman in the world to have him.</p>
<p>Thank you for reminding women of who our husbands want and need to be, and for giving us the courage to let them live up to their potential!</p>
<p>Amanda</p>
Staff
2012-02-14T23:05:00Z
In Sickness and In Health
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/In-Sickness-and-In-Health/388380517082969932.html
2012-02-13T23:33:00Z
2012-02-13T23:33:00Z
<p>I am writing to tell my story of how the vows, "…in sickness and in health…" have reigned true in my marriage earlier than we thought they would. Before I get into the story, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the insight and wisdom you provide to my husband, myself, and all your other listeners.</p>
<p>I am 24 and my husband is 27 and we’ve been married for the best two years of my life. He is an Iraq veteran and the most strong and sensitive man I have ever met.</p>
<p>Since we got married we have dealt with many strange minor health issues; the most recent one is why I am here typing. He has been the most amazing man and caretaker through it all.</p>
<p>After having outpatient surgery, I was left with an open wound. My hubby is the nurse who gets to cause me A LOT of pain (which is so hard for a man) by caring for my wound. He has completely stepped up to the plate and is being my nurse, caretaker, cook, and maid among many other job titles. He has not complained ONE time and has been incredibly gracious and loving to me throughout the process. He only reminds me this is what a husband does and this is what the wedding vows truly mean.</p>
<p>I am overcome with emotion from his treatment and truly believe it is because of your guidance which taught me to be his girlfriend! I strive to treat kindly and with each day I am reminded I chose wisely. I am anxiously awaiting for my wound to heal up so I can get all dolled up and pay him back for all his selflessness (if you know what I mean)!</p>
<p>Your biggest fan,</p>
<p>Alicia</p>
Staff
2012-02-13T23:33:00Z
The Nagging Monster
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Nagging-Monster/-467985179680616866.html
2012-02-10T21:56:00Z
2012-02-10T21:56:00Z
<p>I am embarrassed to admit a year into my marriage I became something I never wanted to be - a nag! What could I possibly have to complain about after a year of being married to an incredible man? We had a wonderful marriage during the week while we were working, but then on Saturday and Sunday my husband would sit down and play more than 20 hours of video games and it caused a fight every weekend. I nagged him constantly about it: "You're playing too much," "You're ignoring me," "You're not helping around the house." When I look back at my behavior, I'm not at all surprised he didn't want to spend time with me. <br /><br />It continued until one night we were fighting and I almost told him, "Well I think what you enjoy doing is stupid." Fortunately I heard the words in my head before I said them out loud and I was able to keep my mouth shut. What a horrible, hurtful thing to say! If he said that to me I'd burst into tears. So I shut up and decided I needed to try a different approach.<br /><br />I thought specifically about what it was that bothered me about the gaming and I came up with this - I didn't like working hard all weekend while my husband got to be lazy and, more than that, I waited all week to spend time with him on the weekends and instead he ignored me. I waited until we were both having a good day and I sat him down and explained these things to him. I was surprised to find out he wished I would quit doing things around the house and come be lazy with him. We were able to have an actual discussion instead of a fight because he didn't feel he needed to be on the defensive. Now on the weekends he plays for a couple of hours each day and I find something to do curled up against him, like reading a book. Then we go out and do things together. I've come to actually enjoy watching him play. We're both so relaxed, we are able to joke around and have fun together. Occasionally the gaming has gone on a little too long, but I let him know sweetly I would like his help and he turns it off. It really hasn't been an issue since.<br /><br />The point is, when I nagged I was met with a brick wall, but when I treated my husband like an adult and compromised, we were able to make effective changes to our marriage. I will definitely keep that in mind when I feel the nagging monster trying to re-emerge in the future.</p>
<p> Becky</p>
Staff
2012-02-10T21:56:00Z
Five Ways I Feed My Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Five-Ways-I-Feed-My-Husband/-99059149458513752.html
2012-02-09T23:31:00Z
2012-02-09T23:31:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I've read your book, “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands,” and I listen to the podcast of your show every day. I've learned SO MUCH since I've made it a part of my morning routine to listen to your prior day's show. I am truly reaping what I'm sowing. If I HAD NOT read your book and listened to your show, I would not be doing the following:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">1. Waking up with my husband two full hours before I have to in order to fix his coffee and his lunch, and gab a little bit before I give him a hug and a kiss as he walks out the door. If I have time, I'll even start his car and warm it up for him.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">2. Send him (alternately) loving and racy messages throughout the day... He does the same for me.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">3. Make it an absolute RULE for both of us to NEVER enter our bed at night with a stitch of clothing on.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">4. Keep him lifted at all times, privately and publicly.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">5. We laugh A LOT. Humor is a major part of our marriage, and I look forward to a lifetime of it.</p>
<p>My husband is the most precious person alive to me. He's a wonderful, loving, attentive and hard-working man who would kill or die for me. I can't imagine giving him a moment's thought to wonder if I'm really worth it.</p>
<p>Julie</p>
Staff
2012-02-09T23:31:00Z
My Husband, Ed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husband,-Ed/-949368432695416052.html
2012-02-08T22:38:00Z
2012-02-08T22:38:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My husband and I have been great fans of yours. My husband had a very tragic childhood and young adult life going into mid-life. There are a lot of stories I could tell you that would just be sad, but when he and I married (he 50, me 43), I figured out his life had not been validated by any one person; I wasn't doing anything special, so I just dedicated my life to making him happy.</p>
<p>At first, he thought there was an “angle,” but when he found out my only angle was for him to be happy, he became very happy. A happy husband makes a happy wife. It is not rocket science. He was so happy he wanted me to buy your book so he could see what you left out because I was perfect!</p>
<p>My perfect husband died a long and painful death this last September. At the end, I think he actually expected me to leave because it isn't easy to watch, but when he figured out I was there unto the end, he looked at me as if I had wings behind me with a halo on top. I will love him forever.</p>
<p>Thank you so much, as you also taught him a lot about living and having a really good life.<br /><br />L.</p>
Staff
2012-02-08T22:38:00Z
Nothing Was Good Enough
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Nothing-Was-Good-Enough/-269699203052639954.html
2012-02-07T21:27:00Z
2012-02-07T21:27:00Z
<p>I was 20 years old when I got married to a great man. He would walk on water for me. Then we had 2 kids, and he became just some lazy bum who came home from work, watched TV, ate all the food I just cooked, messed up the house, and always complained about the kids being too whiny!</p>
<p>Well, I bought your book the other day and am only on chapter 4, but I must say in the few days it has taken me to read this far, it has really proved to me he never really changed. <em><strong>I </strong></em>was the one NAGGING, COMPLAINING, seeing things as NEVER GOOD ENOUGH and having a BAD SEX LIFE. I was so stressed out with kids and the house that by the time he got home, I wanted nothing to do with him and just wanted to take a shower, lay in bed and watch TV.</p>
<p>Thank you for this book! He came home not feeling well, and I gave him a little surprise (wink, wink) and he was in shock! I haven't done that since before the kids were born! He loved it and his whole attitude changed! The next day I put on some make-up, his favorite shirt of mine and some perfume and just smiled as he walked in the door. He was pleasantly surprised to see me happy. Today I am not sure what I am going to do but I know if I want us to be a happily married couple, then my attitude must change and make him the center of <em><strong>my</strong></em> universe again!!! Thank you!!!</p>
<p>Hannah</p>
Staff
2012-02-07T21:27:00Z
Kids and Responsibilities
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Kids-and-Responsibilities/996473880888751971.html
2012-02-06T20:31:00Z
2012-02-06T20:31:00Z
<p>I was listening today while doing an errand and heard two calls about shack-ups and kids.</p>
<p>Next Monday, my husband and I will celebrate 30 years of marriage. During that time, there have been things one or the other of us has wanted to do, but the responsible thing was to wait. The top item on my "Bucket list" is to ride in a B-17. I have wanted to do that as long as I can remember, but by the time I could afford to, we had 3 kids. Now that our two sons are in the Navy and our daughter is almost done with college, I can think about doing it.</p>
<p>I have never believed or felt I was being deprived of doing something because of our kids. Our kids have always come first. We have always put their needs ahead of ours. If their needs were met, it met our needs. We are blessed with three beautiful adult children who are polite, honest and respectable. Of course, it was a lot of work, but we treasure all three of them.</p>
<p>Last Friday, our #2 son graduated from Navy Nuke "A" School. He left a voice message on his Dad's phone that was beautiful - he ended it with "I love you and Mom so much."</p>
<p>Was all the "sacrifice" worth it? You bet!! Keep up the good work.</p>
<p>Diane</p>
Staff
2012-02-06T20:31:00Z
Wife Intimacy Issues
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Wife-Intimacy-Issues/777923498013150954.html
2012-02-03T23:23:00Z
2012-02-03T23:23:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am a 47 year old man. I have been married for 23 years to a great woman and have raised two great kids, 20 & 18.</p>
<p>Recently I was in the car with my wife and was listening to your program. You were talking to a caller who did not feel 'cute' enough and was avoiding intimacy with her husband. You gave her the four alternatives:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">1. He will have an affair<br />2. He will leave you<br />3. He will consort with prostitutes<br />4. He will masturbate to porn.</p>
<p>There was instantly a 3000 pound elephant in the back seat of the car. My wife said she thought we were 'doing fine' in that department. I told her I did not consider 3 or 4 times a year 'doing fine'.</p>
<p>Your frank discussion with the caller opened the conversation for us and allowed us to talk about the things I was feeling. It also gave her some perspective from the husband's point of view.</p>
<p>Thanks,</p>
<p>C.</p>
Staff
2012-02-03T23:23:00Z
Supporting Your Wife or Your Daughter?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Supporting-Your-Wife-or-Your-Daughter/985328922612951089.html
2012-02-02T22:33:00Z
2012-02-02T22:33:00Z
<p>I heard you talk about choosing to support your daughter or your wife and wanted to share this story with you…</p>
<p>A Navy officer once told the story of how he came home from work and found his daughter on the front step. She proceeded to start complaining about what her mom did, etc. And he replied, "That woman is my wife, and the mother of my child. If you think I will be taking your side, you need to understand she has given me the greatest gift - and has always been there for me, before you were born, and will be after you move out. If you have a problem, you need to solve it with her."</p>
<p>He didn't know his wife was just inside, and could hear him... <br />An awesome story. Thought you'd like it.</p>
<p>Susan</p>
Staff
2012-02-02T22:33:00Z
No Longer Whining and Disappointed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-Longer-Whining-and-Disappointed/941284868239160379.html
2012-02-01T23:14:00Z
2012-02-01T23:14:00Z
<p>I called you several months ago wanting to know how to make my husband understand I am too much of a scaredy-cat to watch scary movies. You suggested I propose some war movies to watch and get the popcorn ready. But the phrase you said that helped me the most was: "You're trying to make him see out of your eyeballs - and you won't be able to do that."</p>
<p>I am now much better at simply stating what I will not watch and suggesting an alternative - WITHOUT the whining and disappointment of him "not understanding me" ("me" having had too much emphasis in my mind before!).</p>
<p>Last night he found a movie called "Warrior" and after seeing it had really good reviews, I was okay with it. I wasn't afraid of being scared by it - but a movie about cage fighting has never been on my top 10 list. It's definitely got "mixed martial arts" as the primary vehicle for the plot - but the story itself is about love, forgiveness, family, and men being manly in the most noble of ways. Let's just say the action sequences had us both on the edge of our seats, the genuine humor cracked us up when we needed it, and the emotional story and fantastic acting had us both in tears by the uplifting ending.</p>
<p>Thank you for your wisdom, heart and humor!</p>
<p>Annie</p>
<p>P.S. We also got an alarm system which has helped with my “scaredy cat-ness,” too</p>
<p>P.P.S Here is a spot-on <a href="http://movies.nytimes.com/2011/09/09/movies/warrior-directed-by-gavin-oconnor-review.html" target="_blank">review of the movie</a> in case you are interested.</p>
Staff
2012-02-01T23:14:00Z
A Real Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Real-Man/149831548920847571.html
2012-01-31T23:17:00Z
2012-01-31T23:17:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I'm sitting here listening to your program, hearing you talk about REAL MEN and how they are a dying breed.</p>
<p>Honestly, I have to agree with you… but how lucky am I that I DID marry a real man! My husband is a former Marine who served his country willingly. He is now a Coal Miner, who works long hours to support me and our young son so I can stay at home and care for him. He is an amazing father, a wonderful husband, and the true rock of our family. When he walks in a room he has a presence about him that is both assertive, yet kind. He stands up for what's right and all the while, treats me like a princess. I feel very blessed to have him in my life, and your show has helped me appreciate the rarity of such qualities.</p>
<p>Thank you for letting me brag on my husband a little bit, and thank you for praising real men in a society that so often wants to tear them down.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Julia</p>
Staff
2012-01-31T23:17:00Z
We Really Only Get One Chance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Really-Only-Get-One-Chance/-286811692396320050.html
2012-01-30T22:25:00Z
2012-01-30T22:25:00Z
<p>I am embarrassed to say my son was 2 1/2 yrs old when I finally saw the light and quit my corporate job to stay home and raise him. I was scared of walking away from a good job and, in reality, we would be cutting our family income completely in half.</p>
<p>When I walked in with my resignation letter, my then supervisor flipped out, telling me "it must be so nice your husband can take care of you. I can't imagine how that's possible since I know my husband makes more than yours and there's no way we could live on just his income."</p>
<p>As she oozed with envy and a strange kind of jealousy, I thought to myself, "Well... I won't drive a fancy car like you, nor go to Hawaii every year, or get to go shopping for fancy clothes... but this is my choice, and my life, and I choose my son." Honestly, her anger was the best thing for me, as it showed me how bitter I would feel 18 years later if my children were raised by someone else in the way hers had been.</p>
<p>I learned to trust my husband and God in new ways. Sure we have had to make choices, but I do not feel like I have really 'suffered' for anything... By removing myself from the rat-race, I no longer need to dress or look like a rat! My son is now almost 5 and my daughter is 1 1/2 and I have been home with them exploring and learning every day - and not once have I felt 'bored'.</p>
<p>Last August I was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer and I am currently going through chemotherapy. As I fight for life, my perspective has once again changed to one of gratefulness for the decision we made for me to be a Stay-At-Home-Mom. My last years have not been a waste and my children will hopefully know they are the most important things in my life. My kids give me the strength to fight for life and they mean everything to me. We really do only get one chance... I have no regrets.</p>
<p>Kelly</p>
Staff
2012-01-30T22:25:00Z
My Grandson's Final Straw Moment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Grandsons-Final-Straw-Moment/316142937363329043.html
2012-01-27T21:58:00Z
2012-01-27T21:58:00Z
<p>I have a somewhat different story and take about bullying at school that may be too politically incorrect for you to read. My 14 year old grandson had been bullied at school since the semester began. He is tall for his age, a gentle, fun, smart, easygoing, level-headed young man with a wide circle of friends and he’s respected by both teachers and students. A spoiled thug who was clever enough to always stay just below the radar and not get noticed by faculty was continually bullying him verbally and his antagonizing continued relentlessly. My grandson pretty much tried to ignore him as it was all verbal and even attempted to reason with him many times, but it continued on for 9 months until close to the end of the semester.</p>
<p>Now my grandson is Irish on one side and Irish/Hungarian on the other: a descendant of one of the last of the seven warrior tribes that formed the early Hungarian Nation said to be the final resting place of Attila the Hun. The bully decided once more to lay into him with some allusion to his parental ancestry and at that my grandson decided it was time for an ultimatum. The bully was warned if he didn't stop, he would be made to stop. The warning was laughed off and as he reached out and pushed my grandson, it was the last thing he remembered as the rain of 'fists of fury' fell on his head and body. It was over in 90 seconds before anyone could step in. My grandson is also a Karate Black Belt, studied Aikido and is now practicing Tae Kwon Do.</p>
<p>Of course both students were suspended for several days until the school 'investigated'. It turned out both his and the bully's friends, as well as teachers supported my grandson. The bully was such a sleaze even the teachers were wary and suspicious of him. So why did my grandson not go crying to report a mean bully? Because here is a mature young man who handled and took care of his own business. He was also aware of the consequences and faced them like a man. Of course, he was severely counseled to report these kinds of issues in the future, but for a while teachers were handing him covert high fives outside of class with a wry smile and a 'Yes!'</p>
<p>Not sure what message this sends to others, but I'm very proud of this young MAN. In high school they gave us boxing gloves, took us to the gym and let us go until we tired of it. Today we seem to depend on others to stand up for us.</p>
<p>Fred <br />Grandfather<br />Karate 2nd degree Black Belt</p>
Staff
2012-01-27T21:58:00Z
Feeling Sad For Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Feeling-Sad-For-Kids/-234661551956401420.html
2012-01-26T23:53:00Z
2012-01-26T23:53:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>About two years ago I quit my beloved job to stay home and raise my kids. Between you and my husband nagging me, I finally gave in! It has been the best decision I ever made. I wanted to call a girlfriend to tell one of them the following story, but realized all of my friends are working moms...</p>
<p>This evening, a little before 6:00, I told my husband I was going to the market to get some fruit for lunches tomorrow. As I passed my sons' school, I saw parents running in to get their kids who were in the after-school program. I thought about my two boys who have been home for hours – they’ve had a snack, their homework is done, they’ve practiced karate and they’re now in their bedroom laughing hysterically. I felt an incredible sadness for those other kids being picked up a couple hours before bedtime.</p>
<p>That's really all I had to say...just made me sad.</p>
<p>Love,</p>
<p>Dana</p>
Staff
2012-01-26T23:53:00Z
'Group Learning' Epic Failure
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Group-Learning-Epic-Failure/-385018330920297671.html
2012-01-25T22:00:00Z
2012-01-25T22:00:00Z
<p>I am writing you about your commentary on group learning in schools.</p>
<p>I am 23 and graduated from one of the top 5 teaching universities in the country with a 4.0 GPA. After graduating, I never pursued a teaching position mostly because my husband is a real man and supports me being a stay-at-home-mommy. I have YOU to thank for that. (Hugs)</p>
<p>While school days are years ahead for us with our child, schooling has been in the back of my head. With a background in education, I know I would make a great home-school teacher, but I worry: Aren't kids social learners? Don't they need to learn in groups? During my 4 years of schooling, group learning was pushed, praised, and even required as we entered the field as student teachers.</p>
<p>Educators dress it up, and give it a fancy name like 'collaborative learning' or 'cooperative learning'. Entire courses are dedicated to teaching educators how to group children and 'teach' them. So I’m not surprised 'group' learning is showing up in classrooms more and more.</p>
<p>It’s no secret we have a broken school system; so group learning is a tool that educators use to keep afloat. There are many reasons educators use group learning as a crutch, but one I saw the most was to have the advanced learners peer-tutor the kiddos who had fallen behind: in other words, using children to teach children. Why? Because there is no time to spend one-on-one with each child and give them what they so desperately need.</p>
<p>It’s not even a great idea in theory, but can you imagine how much work actually gets accomplished? Instead of allowing our advanced learners to excel at work on their level, they are stuck being the secondary, un-paid educators in the classroom. Really, it’s very ironic if you ask me - I had to go to college for 4 years to be able to be a teacher, yet we find it adequate to release that responsibility to 8 year olds. I think I want my money back on my degree. I wanted to bring attention to the fact colleges are teaching and forcing future educators to teach this way. In fact, I was never truly instructed how to properly conduct whole group instruction and I was one of the top students in my class...in one of the top schools in the nation.</p>
<p>Homeschooling it is...</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Breanna</p>
Staff
2012-01-25T22:00:00Z
Make the Punishment Memorable the First Time Caught
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Make-the-Punishment-Memorable-the-First-Time-Caught/851208553409966934.html
2012-01-24T23:49:00Z
2012-01-24T23:49:00Z
<p>I do not have words to express how grateful I am to have listened to you for the last 15 yrs; you wise counsel has guided us through some difficult and wonderful times as a family!</p>
<p>When our son Pat was 16 years old, without asking permission, he went out with his cousin with the intention of meeting a girl at the movies. We don't allow one-on-one dating (only groups), and only with young people we know. Since he wanted to go, but knew if he asked us the answer would be no, he went anyway.</p>
<p>Oddly, his cousin was the one to give him up. I sent Pat a private message on Facebook, which brought him home in a hurry. He was so angry, he started a fight with his older brother--a real fist fight, not just words or pushing and shoving. I found that interesting, but let them go at it – his older brother won, which helped a ton, putting number 2 in his place.</p>
<p>Nonetheless, and despite Pat generally being a great kid and easy to live with, his dad and I knew we were going to have to come down on him like a ton of bricks in order to make a lasting impression. Contrary to popular opinion, boys can, if properly motivated, think before they do things. He lost his license, access to friends unless a parent was around, and had no phone. Just about every privilege he enjoyed was removed, plus he received extra chores.</p>
<p>He was insufferable for months, but the removal of privilege and chores remained, until he finally asked what he had to do to start getting his privileges back. I told him he needed to figure it out - it took nearly 6 months for him to finally come to us and apologize for disrespecting our rules. Slowly, we returned his privileges as he earned them and now, 3 yrs later, he is a respectful, thoughtful and considerate young man of whom I am very proud.</p>
<p>I truly believe if we had let this seemingly minor infraction go without the extreme measures we took, Pat could have taken a very different path. Thankfully, and mostly due to listening to your show and your sage advice, we knew what to do.</p>
<p>So, parents: nip it in the bud. The first time you catch them, make it memorable, and you are less likely to have to repeat yourself to your children to get them to follow the right path.</p>
<p>Peace be with you,</p>
<p>Sharon</p>
Staff
2012-01-24T23:49:00Z
A Different Kind of Wife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Different-Kind-of-Wife/450674722432844962.html
2012-01-23T22:21:00Z
2012-01-23T22:21:00Z
<p>I'm writing to thank you for helping me change my perspective on being a good wife. Today one of my old friends posted on Facebook how her husband is such a baby when he's sick. Other women chimed in to say how pathetic their husbands are also. One stated how she simply ignores her husband; after all it's his fault because he didn't rest. (Maybe that’s because he's working hard to provide for his family). This made me so sad for the men of these women. It's bad enough for them to complain to each other, but on a public forum it’s disgusting.</p>
<p>My husband recently pointed out how much it hurts him when I say anything negative about him in front of other people. This is an awful habit I am determined to completely stop. He reminded me he just wants to feel respected and (in his words) wants me to think he's “cool.” He also reminded me that I listen to you, Dr. Laura, and really have no excuses for my behavior. After all, you’ve taught me better than that!<br /> <br />Thank you so much for teaching me to be a different kind of wife.</p>
<p>Paige</p>
<p>P.S. My husband is a cool guy!</p>
<p>P.P.S. I love taking care of him when he's sick; it reminds me how much he needs me.</p>
Staff
2012-01-23T22:21:00Z
Divorce and Remarriage Affects Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Divorce-and-Remarriage-Affects-Kids/-362014450613551917.html
2012-01-20T22:11:00Z
2012-01-20T22:11:00Z
<p>Recently on your radio program the subject of divorce and especially remarriage has come up a lot.</p>
<p>My first love is baseball. When I married my 2nd love (but first wife), our first child was our son. By the time he could stand, I was teaching him to swing a plastic bat...sometimes indoors, which was not exactly to the delight of his mother. When he turned 5, he was old enough to play on a T-ball team and soon I found myself coaching his teams. My first love was rekindled.</p>
<p>By the time he was about 10, I started noticing my team roster, where the parents would provide emergency contact info, would have the mom and the dad at different addresses more and more frequently until it was around half the time. I thought this bore witness to the 50% divorce rate you hear about. Before long, I could identify the kids whose parents were divorced without a roster. Those kids almost always wanted or needed to talk to you more. They often could converse better with adults than their peers, and generally preferred to - which always made me sad.</p>
<p>Another trend I noticed was the kid whose divorced custodial parent was now remarried. These kids (you could tell almost without exception) were not cared about. There was one kid whose parents had him ride his bike to and from practice, along a busy state highway, at age 12. A couple of times I'd ride him home because it was raining and I couldn't let him ride home in the rain, although he fully intended to. (What choice did he have?) At the end of that summer, mom and stepdad decided to move to another state. This kid, who had spent a weekend with our family, actually wanted to stay and live with my family instead of being uprooted again by the "family" who frankly didn't give a crap about him.</p>
<p>I could go on and on with stories like this about divorced parents and the effect I, as a coach, could see in these kids. Parents want to delude themselves kids can handle it and aren't affected, but when basically a stranger who sees your kids a few hours a week for an 8-12 week season can see it, then it's undeniable. Divorce hurts kids and remarriage absolutely devastates them.</p>
<p>Thank you for all you do to encourage us to do the right thing. My son is 18 now, and I am still happily married to my "2nd love."</p>
<p>Brian</p>
Staff
2012-01-20T22:11:00Z
My Own Stay-At-Home Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Own-Stay-At-Home-Mom/-158558980237099306.html
2012-01-19T23:35:00Z
2012-01-19T23:35:00Z
<p>The topic of working mothers and day care comes up a lot on your show, and I've finally decided to throw in my two cents. I'm not a mother yet, but I still have one, and all my childhood memories of her.</p>
<p>My father worked a low-paying job that barely brought in enough money for us to live on. Every month was a struggle to pay the bills and to keep my brother and me fed and clothed. For a brief time we were even on food stamps. But you know what? That's not what comes to mind when I think of my childhood.</p>
<p>I remember coming home from school to find Mom had cut up apples and carrots for our snack. I remember rainy days where she would help us set up blanket tents in the living room and play our favorite music. I remember her taking the time to homeschool me, and my grades improved drastically because of her efforts. I remember her once trying to take on a part-time job, but after I became sick at school and she was unable to come pick me up, she put in her two weeks' notice.</p>
<p>No, we didn't live in luxury, and we didn't have a lot of financial advantages. When Mom was working part-time we had a little extra money to spend, but it wasn't the same as knowing she would be there whenever we needed her. My most precious memories aren't of a baby sitter or day care....they're of Mom.<br /><br />Erica</p>
Staff
2012-01-19T23:35:00Z
Generosity in Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Generosity-in-Marriage/312156271429975314.html
2012-01-19T02:20:00Z
2012-01-19T02:20:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I'm responding to your blog about the importance of generosity in a marriage. I'm 26 and have been married since I was 21. Having been raised in a home where my parents listened to you every day, I grew up much more mature than my peers. I did get married very young, but feel the decision I made was an educated one. Having a good example from my parents and from your show of how a healthy relationship should work has helped in the success of my marriage.</p>
<p>Generosity plays a huge role in how smoothly a marriage runs and it isn't how much money is spent on one person or another. Something as little as a thank you to your spouse for doing something can show that person how appreciated they are. I've found it's the little everyday things that may not seem like much but are the most important. My husband and I are expecting our first baby in March and I appreciate how much generosity he has shown me these past 7 months. So I would say to every married couple: show your spouse what you feel and you'd be surprised at what you might get back.</p>
<p>Thanks Dr. Laura for all your great advice and guidance!!</p>
<p>From the future "my kid's mom"</p>
<p>Jahna</p>
Staff
2012-01-19T02:20:00Z
How I Deal with Negative SAHM Comments
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Deal-with-Negative-SAHM-Comments/-45322296825530779.html
2012-01-17T23:39:00Z
2012-01-17T23:39:00Z
<p>I'm so thankful to God for your influence in my life. I stay at home because of the strength you've given me. If it weren't for you, I'd probably be working, and abandoning my 10 month old. Thank you! Please never stop your show, or your defense of family and kids.</p>
<p>My sister had a baby 3 weeks before I had my baby. She went back to work full-time when her baby was 3 months old. My mom takes care of the child until my sister comes home at 6. She also cooks and cleans for her. When I was pregnant, my mom said she was also going to care of my baby so I could work. She said I had to work. I finally confronted her when my baby was about 7 months and told her, I wasn't going back to work. She didn't even want to listen to me. Everyone around me thinks I'm not doing the right thing and my parents should raise my baby. But it's not happening.</p>
<p>So, all I say to myself when others try to put me down is, I'm his mom and I have complete peace of mind. I wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world. I have a master's degree, and consider myself smarter than women who choose to spend their day with strangers.</p>
<p>If I feel insecure, all I have to do is kiss my son, hug him harder, play with him more. I kiss his little baby toes and watch his smile. I take him to the park with our dog, sing to him, and breastfeed him. Life couldn't be more blessed for me.</p>
<p>I also make an effort to feel good by wearing nice clothes -- even short heels. I love my life and most people eventually say I'm doing the right thing, but really, I owe it all to you for your support</p>
<p>Gabriela</p>
Staff
2012-01-17T23:39:00Z
Having Kids vs. Being a Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Having-Kids-vs.-Being-a-Mom/-272041864448737500.html
2012-01-16T23:40:00Z
2012-01-16T23:40:00Z
<p>Something struck me as you were speaking with the caller who was concerned her daughter would rather spend time with her nanny than with her. You told her you did not get the feeling she wanted to BE a mom. BAM!!!!</p>
<p>Many people want to HAVE children, but do not want to BE parents. HAVING children is like having a home or a job: children become accessories to our lives, picture-perfect cuties who are trotted out for everyone's admiration. When people HAVE children, they are embarrassed when the children misbehave, don't get good grades, or are not good at sports. People who HAVE children view their children as a reflection of themselves and their perfection or imperfection.</p>
<p>BEING a parent requires you turn your entire life inside and out. Your first thought is of your child, not yourself or how they make you look. BEING a parent means you look to your child's interest before your own; you allow a child to pursue his interests, even if you don't care for them yourself. It means your focus is always on the long term goal, not the short term reward. BEING a parent requires the kind of unselfishness that can only come in living FOR someone else.</p>
<p>Come to think of it, the same can be said for HAVING a spouse vs. BEING a spouse.</p>
<p>Fran</p>
Staff
2012-01-16T23:40:00Z
From A Woman Who Has Learned
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/From-A-Woman-Who-Has-Learned/-487473650291445083.html
2012-01-13T22:27:00Z
2012-01-13T22:27:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>This is in response to a recent caller who had no support system around her.</p>
<p>My husband was a chaplain in the military. When I had our son, I too did not have a support system. I was 850 miles away from our family. I became depressed and angry. I was angry with him that he was able to get out of the house and have fun. I quit cooking for him and taking care of him the way he needed. Then he was deployed to Afghanistan.</p>
<p>After my husband came home on a two-week “R and R,” I realized our marriage was in a shambles. I immediately made an appointment with a therapist, worked on my issues, lost the weight my husband had been begging me to lose, and changed myself into the woman we both needed me to be. But it was still almost too late. Another woman in Afghanistan had already treated him the way he needed. She was holding him when he cried over the deaths he had witnessed. She was with him working out in the gym. She told him everything he wanted to hear. So when he returned home this summer, I was faced with the fact my husband had bonded with another woman and was thinking of leaving me.</p>
<p>Thankfully, he realized I had changed.</p>
<p>We have been working on our marriage for the past five months. Things are still not perfect, but they are getting much better. He wants to stay together - especially for our son. I want him to stay. We are on the way to a full recovery. I wish I had realized how important a support system was before this. I wish I had taken care of my husband. Women, don't forget your man wants to be loved and cherished just like you. And military wives, your husband has been through hell; love him and hold him like a little boy when he needs it. We will never know the horrors they have witnessed.<br /><br />A.</p>
Staff
2012-01-13T22:27:00Z
Our Kids' Expanding Waistlines
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-Kids-Expanding-Waistlines/811860242583712541.html
2012-01-12T23:19:00Z
2012-01-12T23:19:00Z
<p>As I was listening to your recent commentary about Georgia's anti-childhood obesity campaign, all I could say was "Amen, Dr. Laura! You go, girl!!"</p>
<p>As a school nurse in an elementary school in Anchorage, Alaska, I struggle on a daily basis to address the obesity epidemic among our students (and staff). As I do routine health screenings, I notify parents if their children do not pass vision or hearing checks. I have also sent notifications to parents whose children have BMIs equal to or greater than the 95th percentile.</p>
<p>While parents generally react with concern regarding problems with hearing or vision, they usually become quite angry and incensed at any hint that a son or daughter may be classified as "overweight" or even "obese." In an effort to try to stress the health aspects of excess weight, I now always include blood pressure measurements (usually outside the defined limits) and comments made by the child about being teased or having difficulties participating in PE or another physical activity. Even this does not seem to ameliorate the fury expressed by parents.</p>
<p>I concur with your comments that these reactions generally stem from defensiveness due to parental and family weight issues. I see it as my professional responsibility, however, to address any health concerns that arise with the students in my charge.</p>
<p>I will continue to do this and appreciate your vocal support as health care providers throughout the nation grapple with our ever-expanding waistlines. We really should be as outraged by the out-of-control weight-related health problems we now face as we were with illness and disease caused by smoking and alcohol or drug abuse. Thank you!!!</p>
<p>A concerned school nurse in Alaska</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2012-01-12T23:19:00Z
An 'Accidental' Stay-at-Home Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/An-Accidental-Stay-at-Home-Mom/82687158957773155.html
2012-01-11T22:24:00Z
2012-01-11T22:24:00Z
<p>I grew up in the post-60s feminism era, never questioning the idea I would go to college, have a career and be married with children. But I went off track early, quitting college during my sophomore year. I then got married and had my first son. I worked part time and it was stressful and I hated leaving my baby, but that's what I thought I had to do.</p>
<p>I went back to college when my son was one, trading babysitting with friends who were also in college. Son #2 came along and I continued college part-time, still planning my eventual career. I had big dreams. I was going to be a mover and shaker and people were going to respect me and look up to me. I was going to be "Somebody".</p>
<p>Son #3 was a big surprise. At this point, I gave up school. Still thinking staying home with the boys wasn't "enough" and I needed to "contribute" to the household, I looked for a part time job where I could work evenings so my husband could be home. One of the boys started throwing up, almost on cue, as I was heading out the door to a job interview. I just couldn't leave a sick kid with my husband, who was tired after a long day of work and I couldn't bear leaving a sick kid at all! I felt like God, the Universe or whoever was giving me a sign. I didn't go to the job interview and did not get the job.</p>
<p>Son #4 was another wonderful surprise, and by now I was solidly in stay-at-home-mom mode. But I still felt guilty. I felt inadequate because I wasn't earning money to help support our family. We lived in a tired little 80 year old house, and I badly wanted to fix it up and redecorate. When we had visitors, I cringed at the worn carpets and stained wallpaper I could not afford to replace.</p>
<p>Years later, I realized how blessed I was I didn't complete college, go to work and then have children who I would put in day care. My boys don't remember the threadbare carpet, but they do remember how I was always there when they needed me. And now, as they approach adulthood, we listen to your show and I make it a point to encourage each of them to marry a woman who wants to stay home and raise her children and to expect that (as the man, husband and father) he will take care of his family, even if it means choosing to live in a small, modest home and sacrifice things other families call necessities. We now know the biggest necessity of all for children is to have their Mommy to themselves and little else matters.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, for your clarity and support of stay-at-home Mommies!</p>
<p>J.</p>
Staff
2012-01-11T22:24:00Z
Supporting His Choice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Supporting-His-Choice/-154685235318532937.html
2012-01-10T21:37:00Z
2012-01-10T21:37:00Z
<p>Several months ago, I called your show. My husband of 18 years had been battling bladder cancer for the past three years, enduring 9 rounds of targeted chemo along with almost as many surgeries, and the doctors were recommending the complete removal of his urinary tract including both kidneys. He was losing hope and did not want the surgery and the change in his active life it would bring. You asked me if I thought his position was reasonable. I answered yes. I took your advice and simply told him I would support whatever decision and course of action he decided on, and only asked he carefully consider and weigh the fact we had a young daughter who needs her dad. Then I hugged him and told him I love and admire him more than anything.</p>
<p>In mid-November he decided to have a serious, but less life-changing surgery, with the hope of stopping the spread of his disease. We were scared sick before the surgery, as CT scans looked like the cancer was moving quickly on the right side of his urinary tract. The doctor was confident, but pretty grey when she talked with me before surgery. Seven hours later, she was walking on air. While she did remove the kidney and ureter, his whole urinary tract looked amazingly good. The one bad spot was in the right ureter and it had been removed. She said to cross our fingers, pray and wait for pathology. We did wait…Three long days… and when it returned, NO CANCER!!!</p>
<p>She said she couldn't be sure if it had been the chemo drug finally working, or the many natural supplements he took, super healthful diet, prayer or a combination of all four, but she had high hopes his cancer was gone and that we may be looking at him being cured. Long story short...we don't know if this is a permanent cure or just a rest, but it's given our family such a boost. We had the happiest Christmas ever and we appreciate every day we have with good health and each other.</p>
<p>The choice I made to support my husband's choices and tell him how much I love and admire him seemed to free him so much. His attitude is better and I know whatever we have to face going forward, we'll be stronger because of this loving, united approach. We've got our lives back, at least for now, and it seems fuller and more precious than ever. Thank you so much for calming me and helping me to be a better support for my husband. He deserves my best.</p>
<p>Kris</p>
Staff
2012-01-10T21:37:00Z
Was I Making a Big Mistake?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Was-I-Making-a-Big-Mistake/16082673302430868.html
2012-01-09T23:43:00Z
2012-01-09T23:43:00Z
<p>I would like to relay to you my story, which is in praise of stay-at-home moms everywhere.</p>
<p>I gave birth in 1980 to a daughter, who, in a very short period of time, gave her parents pause when we realized she was probably smarter than we were. I was a stay-at-home mom and at that time society was on the cusp of making those of us at home feel as though we should be "finding ourselves" outside the home. I read to my child ALL the time, took her EVERYWHERE in her stroller, and made her food with vegetables I had grown myself. I was so in awe of her beauty, I couldn’t believe she was mine. I was very young at the time having just turned 21.</p>
<p>Living in rural Pennsylvania, “Head Start” had become the new best program you could have your preschooler attend. Initially intended for underprivileged children to help insure they were properly prepared for Kindergarten, it soon became very popular in the general population as “DAY CARE.” I was really worried when, after a while, my child seemed uninterested in playing with children her own age. By the time she turned 3, I thought a little more socialization other than our circle of families with kids her age might be a good thing. So I enrolled her in the “Head Start” program just 2 days a week. She did not want to go, but I thought “let's give it a chance”</p>
<p>Her behavior began to revert and she started to have toilet accidents after being completely potty trained. She complained they did not listen to her, so I came early one day to pick her up and stood in the hallway by the door where no one could see me and listened. Almost immediately, I heard her asking one of teachers for help, and they ignored her. She asked a second and third time with no acknowledgment. That was it - I went in, scooped her up and went home.</p>
<p>The next day I called and canceled her enrollment. The assistant on the phone gave me an earful about how terrible it would be for me to remove my daughter. I remained steadfast. The next day the DIRECTOR of the program called me and said I was making a big mistake and she would have problems in school later on. I explained there was no need for her to attend since I was at home with her. Still the inference was I was unable to teach or give my child all she needed for a successful school experience for the next 12 years. Her words remained in the back of my mind - you know, where you keep all the worries.</p>
<p>On the first day of kindergarten she pushed herself under the seat of the car and refused to get out. Immediately my thoughts raced to the words of the director and my heart sank. After that first day, she cheerfully went to school and became an A student thereafter. She graduated high school and college with honors. She is now 31 and became a school teacher of autistic children. I asked my daughter, "Why special needs kids? Isn't it very difficult?" Her reply? "I think I would be bored in regular Ed., Mom".</p>
<p>Valerie</p>
Staff
2012-01-09T23:43:00Z
Who Is This Young Man?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Who-Is-This-Young-Man/-678062646854698696.html
2012-01-06T22:25:00Z
2012-01-06T22:25:00Z
<p>My 22-year-old son asked me what I wanted for Christmas, and I told him, "Something from your heart." He groaned, which wasn't unexpected, but the gift he came up with was amazing.</p>
<p>Of all the things he has dragged around in his travels, he still has his baby blanket and it has survived. So he cut off a corner of it, cut a square hole in the middle, and used it to matte a picture of himself and his younger brother when they were approximately 10 and about 8 months respectively. He mounted it, framed it, and added a caption: "We are always your babies."</p>
<p>I had to leave the room and cry for a moment, and ponder just who this young man is, and what he did with my son...</p>
<p>Ann</p>
Staff
2012-01-06T22:25:00Z
Even My 3-Year-Old Gets It
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Even-My-3-Year-Old-Gets-It/-596487653468021951.html
2012-01-05T21:00:00Z
2012-01-05T21:00:00Z
<p>This morning I was reminded twice of why my husband and I chose for me to stay at home with our two sons, who are almost 3 years old and 18 months old. While my family is sleeping, a few mornings each week I wake at 5 am to go to the gym down the street to work out. This morning, as I was walking back home at 6:15am, I passed the day care next to the gym and saw a mother getting her sleepy toddler out of her car and take her into the day care. I almost cried. I couldn't imagine having to do that 5 days a week to my two babies and my immediate thought was how lucky I am I don't have to. When I got home, I snuggled into bed with my husband and showed him how much I appreciated all he does so I can stay at home and care for our babies all day.</p>
<p>Later that morning, when my older son got up, he started playing with his toy telephone. Like lots of kids, he uses his favorite toys to express his own thoughts and feelings. This morning, he told my husband and me, "Telephone likes to stay at home with his mommy." He proceeded to talk about how "telephone" likes to go to the park with Mommy, go to the library with Mommy, to snuggle with his mommy. I asked him if he likes to do all those things with his mommy too, and he said "yup!" Then he gave me a big hug.</p>
<p>Dr. Laura, these two incidents just validate what I already know: I am doing the absolute right thing for my kids. I have NEVER doubted it and I NEVER will!<br /><br />Alicia</p>
Staff
2012-01-05T21:00:00Z
Priorities Realigned
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Priorities-Realigned/-392887031197116223.html
2012-01-04T20:30:00Z
2012-01-04T20:30:00Z
<p>I started to listen to your show a few months ago.</p>
<p>My husband and I have been going through a "rough patch". I was listening to you one day and EVERYTHING clicked! You were talking to a wife who was cranky about her husband doing things "wrong" (i.e., not <strong><em>her</em></strong> way) around the house. I am the same way: it MUST be done MY way.</p>
<p>The first night after hearing that call, when my hubby loaded the dishwasher, I simply said, "Thanks, Babe!" and sat down with him to watch the football game. I didn't make a snarky comment on why the counter wasn't wiped off or the crumbs weren't swept up. Instead I spent time with my husband. It was fantastic! My uneducated advice is to let it go, ladies! Praise your husbands; it goes a loooong way! You can ALWAYS sweep tomorrow!</p>
<p>Thanks Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>Tammy</p>
Staff
2012-01-04T20:30:00Z
Hot Showers and Hot Tub!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hot-Showers-and-Hot-Tub!/-967405239831830587.html
2012-01-03T20:30:00Z
2012-01-03T20:30:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I wanted to give you a "thumbs up" for your suggestion of taking a shower with your husband. I hear some of the women being a little hesitant at this idea, but I can attest to the closeness created by this activity. My husband and I got married eight and a half years ago, and we have showered together on most mornings during these years. It's usually the best 15 - 20 minutes of the day. We talk about our day, he helps me wash my hair, and sometimes we just stand under the warm water and hug - among a few other activities that I won't go into here.</p>
<p>This fall, we purchased an exercise hot-tub to help with my Rheumatoid Arthritis. I was thinking this would help with keeping my joints loose and also losing weight, but it has also helped bring my husband and me closer (if that was possible). We spend about an hour most evenings in the hot tub together, laughing, playing, exercising, undistracted by TV, and enjoying the Minnesota moonlight. It's romantic to spend some quiet time with him looking over the farm fields behind our house, even when the weather is in the teens! He's my boyfriend and my gentleman.</p>
<p>Thanks for all your advice to make marriages stronger!</p>
<p>Jane</p>
Staff
2012-01-03T20:30:00Z
There's Another Option Than Taking Pills
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Theres-Another-Option-Than-Taking-Pills/-26222001844758845.html
2011-12-29T21:00:00Z
2011-12-29T21:00:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I used to listen to you when I was in college, mainly for entertainment, you seemed so hard on people. I found you again this last year on Sirius. I am now 40, my husband's girlfriend, and my kids' mom. Unfortunately, I had to learn these lessons myself and not from you. It took a lot longer for me to figure it out on my own!</p>
<p>My husband and I met in veterinary school. I was raised by divorced parents and was expected to go to college and get a career. After having my first son, I went back to work full-time after 6 weeks because I honestly did not have anyone mention there was another option. Then my daughter and a second son came along...I was stressed! I was definitely no longer being a good wife to the amazing man I married.</p>
<p>I went to my annual ob visit and told my doctor I was crying all the time and not happy at all. He asked about lifestyle and stress; then mentioned anti-depressants. This was the ah-ha moment for me! Pills! I am supposed to take pills now to make me happy? Needless to say my husband and I started a conversation. I had to get over the guilt of taking on debt to go to school, and now not work. We looked at our budget and I went down to part-time. I did that for a year and we realized it was time for me to stay home full time. I was able to stay home with my youngest for two years before he started kindergarten. The greatest two years of my life. I am devastated when I think about what I missed with my two older children. But I am home for them now. I won't say it's been easy. We have had to really watch our pennies. But, despite the financial set back, our family is happy, I'm happy, and my husband is happy. He got his sexy girlfriend back and dinner at home (most nights - ha-ha). Oh, and I never took the pills.</p>
<p>I just wished I had been listening to you! Then maybe I would have had those years at home with my younger children.</p>
<p>Thank you for all the support you give to stay at home moms!</p>
<p>Lisa</p>
Staff
2011-12-29T21:00:00Z
My Son the Comedian
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Son-the-Comedian/406834547900503885.html
2011-12-28T21:00:00Z
2011-12-28T21:00:00Z
<p>My son, Mikey, is a 6th grader, and his grades have been horrible this year. I talked to you about this, and your advice really helped. </p>
<p>And I'm not really worried anymore about my son, the comedian… He was invited to a friend's house recently. I'd met this boy and liked his manners and attitude, but my son had never been to his house. It turned out to be a sketchy house in a pretty sketchy neighborhood. The mom shared with me she'd had her first child at 17, but she was working hard to make a better life for her kids. When I picked my son up later, he was quiet. He finally told me he'd been nervous being in the house - it wasn't what he was used to, but he'd had a nice time.</p>
<p>I saw a "Teaching Moment" and immediately explained there are some typical reasons people end up living in poor neighborhoods. First, I said, "People who get lousy grades in school don't get to go to college, and they end up making french fries for a living. I said this could happen to YOU, if you don't start taking school more seriously."</p>
<p>I wasn't done yet, of course. I pointed out his friend's mom had become pregnant WAY before she was ready to take on the responsibility of a child, and so now she and her kids were living in poverty. "You're a good-looking boy," I said. "You've grown 4 1/2 inches in less than a year, and your voice has changed. Do you realize you have working sperm now? And you could end up with a child? Some day soon," I continued, "some stupid girl is going to offer to have sex with you in order to keep you as a boyfriend, and you could end up having to quit school and get a crummy job to support your baby, if she won't put it up for adoption!"</p>
<p>He was quiet for a long moment, and I congratulated myself on a parenting job well done. Finally, my son spoke.</p>
<p>"You don't have to worry, Mom," he said solemnly. "I'm not going to get any girls pregnant. At least until I bring up my grades."</p>
<p>Thank God he had a big grin on his face... and I didn't wrap the car around a tree...<br /><br />M.</p>
Staff
2011-12-28T21:00:00Z
My Dr. Laura Therapy!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Dr.-Laura-Therapy!/-906064973150233118.html
2011-12-27T15:00:00Z
2011-12-27T15:00:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I love your program and listen to you almost everyday via podcast downloads. I enjoy your upfront and candid demeanor and you contrast that with humor and insight which can only be envied by any practicing therapist out there!</p>
<p>I have been seeing a therapist for about 5 months now for my problems of low self worth, and difficulties dealing with my situation of being a live in aid for my older special needs brother after my mother passed away.</p>
<p>The therapist has talked with me and given me support, but I feel no different about things now than when I started the therapy sessions months ago. I don't get any real feedback on ways I can change my feelings and my situation. To be honest I get more from listening to your program and your advice than I get from him.</p>
<p>I have gotten the backbone to get my other family members involved in my brother's care. I have started to lose some weight, exercise, and gradually I am feeling better about myself and have hope now that at some point I will have more freedom to live my life the way I need to in order to be happier. I owe ALL that to you and your program. Your shoot from the hip advice and tell it like it is candor just stays with me and helps me to not be weak and passive. I can control my environment more with my thoughts and my actions. I still have a long long way to go but at least I see some light to walk towards now. I just wanted to thank you for what you do and hope you keep doing it as long as possible. Oh and by the way, I dropped my therapist last week. Instead of paying for a session once a week that I don't get much out of, I pay a super reasonable amount of money for the Dr. Laura Family PLUS membership and get a great therapist's advice EVERY weekday on my Ipod!</p>
<p>How can anyone beat that? LOL</p>
<p>S.</p>
Staff
2011-12-27T15:00:00Z
Gratifying Parenting Moment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Gratifying-Parenting-Moment/-109262586517443386.html
2011-12-22T21:20:00Z
2011-12-22T21:20:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I had an amazing moment with my 11 year old daughter yesterday. She was repeatedly asking to see a movie my husband and I did not want her to see. She was upset and angry with us... Then an hour later, she came to me and said, "Mom, I'm sorry I was upset. Thanks for not letting me see certain movies even though I really want to see them. I know you're protecting me and I appreciate it."</p>
<p>Oh my word. I thought I would faint on the spot. I couldn't believe she was verbalizing these thoughts. It was a very happy parenting moment in our house!!</p>
<p>Merry Christmas to you and your family and "peeps"! (Tell Efim his segues are outstanding!)</p>
<p>A happy mommy :)</p>
Staff
2011-12-22T21:20:00Z
I am 'Not the Mama'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-am-Not-the-Mama/-576431053552544844.html
2011-12-21T17:40:00Z
2011-12-21T17:40:00Z
<p>I have been taking care of my great niece for a few days. Her mom has gone back to work and day care wanted a full month's pay for a few days. I don't agree with this choice of working and day care but she has her reasons which she thinks are important and my opinion is not wanted. </p>
<p>Little bit is 12 weeks old and from my imagination, this is a day from her point of view:</p>
<p>"You woke me up when I was sleeping so sound and whisked me out to the car. I snooze back out, cuz I spend so much time in the car I sleep the best there. You take me out again and we are going inside. I know this place because we visit here. You feed me and ahhh, I'm happy. You hand me off to Great Auntie and she holds and plays with me. I sit in my bouncy chair, watching the Christmas tree. I'm a little fussy cuz my tummy bothers me. I can't settle so Great Auntie places me in a bed in a room I don't really know. It's dark and there is quiet music playing. I fuss a few minutes before dropping off to sleep for 30 minutes before I wake myself up again. Great Auntie gets me, changes me and offers me a bottle. I know it's the same stuff that comes from Mama but the container is just not the same. The rest of the day pretty much repeats this, for a total of 10 hours. My FAVORITE time is when Mama comes and I get to snuggle and nurse then it's off to home again."</p>
<p>I took care of my own 3 children some 30 years ago. Today I'm struck by how many choices I make throughout the day about my great niece that may or may not be the same ones her mama would make. Not just that her life is in my hands but how she deals with it and perceives it. I know when she was so fussy this morning, as a mama, I would have taken and nursed her a bit and she would have dropped right off to sleep. She didn't want bottle milk and was just unhappy because I was not "the mama".</p>
<p>If I thought it would make a difference I would harp on my niece more but I know it won't and will just alienate her. My thoughts and ideas are making an impression on my own married daughters so maybe some good will come out of it.</p>
<p>If it would really change them, I wish all the mama's could trade places that first day with their babies. Little ones whose whole life has revolved around Mama and now she's not there and they just don't understand.</p>
<p>I know I'm preaching to the choir, but maybe it will make one person think twice or thrice about it.</p>
<p>"Not the Mama" Great Aunt</p>
Staff
2011-12-21T17:40:00Z
Dreaming of a Red, White and Blue Christmas
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dreaming-of-a-Red,-White-and-Blue-Christmas/-666058362796229284.html
2011-12-21T01:05:00Z
2011-12-21T01:05:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Please help us pay tribute to our Military Families during this time of the year. Often times we only pay tribute to them during 4th of July / Veterans and Memorial Days. However speaking from personal experience, the holidays are especially difficult when you have a loved one deployed serving our country elsewhere. I am a long time listener and fan. Even had the pleasure of calling in and speaking to you on 2 occasions. Your guidance was priceless. Thank You!!!</p>
<p>I also need to give you credit for helping me raise my daughter. You would be so proud to know she is a young woman who has a huge heart and a good head on her shoulders. Please keep doing what you do because you never know who is listening and how much you impact the listener and their family.</p>
<p>Below is a link to a video my daughter made to pay tribute to our Military Families. She recorded this song and put together a video with pictures military families sent in, most of them have a deployed family member right now. The families received gift baskets for Christmas.</p>
<p>Please consider sharing this video/tribute with all the Dr. Laura listeners and any Military organizations that may benefit from it.. We want to make sure they know someone cares all year round!!!</p>
<p><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21IWaLnYH74" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21IWaLnYH74</a></p>
<p>Thank you,<br />Lisa</p>
Staff
2011-12-21T01:05:00Z
Little Efforts - Big Results
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Little-Efforts---Big-Results/-694736272342954570.html
2011-12-19T23:33:00Z
2011-12-19T23:33:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />Regarding your points about marital generosity, I just want to say each morning, my husband either gets up at 4:00 or 5:00 to go to work. I don't have to get up at 7:00 to get ready for my job, but I have made it my own rule to get up with him, and by the time he's showered and dressed, his coffee is ready, his lunch is made, and that leaves us a little bit of time to sit down and quietly enjoy some conversation before I give him a big kiss and a hug as he walks out the door. He knows I do it gladly, because I love, value and appreciate him. In turn, he does all sorts of little things for me, too, without my ever asking. Cooking, dishes, etc., and since he gets home before I do, these things are usually done when I walk through the door. I never ask, never indicate or even drop hints. He just does it, and he loves knowing he's made my life easier.<br /><br />I don't ever want to lose the feeling of surprise, I don't ever want to be conditioned to the things he does to the point that I expect them, and I never want to react that way when he does. I believe these little gestures remind us daily of how blessed we are, and it helps keep up the momentum of adoration more than anything else can. <br /><br />Thank you!<br /><br />Julie</p>
Staff
2011-12-19T23:33:00Z
A Marriage of Endurance and Dedication
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Marriage-of-Endurance-and-Dedication/158212657649765714.html
2011-12-17T00:21:00Z
2011-12-17T00:21:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I want to share a kind, loving, gentle story with you.</p>
<p>My parents will be married for 53 years in February. Over the course of my life (46 years so far), I have witnessed compassion, love and perseverance in the marriage of my parents. My mother is 84 and my father 79. My mother suffered a major heart attack 6 years ago and never fully recovered to the degree in which she gave up her driver's license voluntarily. They continue to live on their own and maintain a very comfortable lifestyle, not as in financially, but simply by being together. My siblings and I help when needed or asked, but my father is the one who has taken the lead with her home needs. (I take her to doctor appointments, shopping, anything outside the home).</p>
<p>Their marriage is the perfect example of endurance. Their generation was built on values, respect and commitment. I was fortunate to have learned those values from a stable home environment.</p>
<p>My father's dedication to my mother is unbelievable. Every morning, before he heads across the street to volunteer at the church, he prepares her breakfast. She typically eats a bowl of cereal as it is her favorite. One morning recently, he prepared the usual cereal, toast, fruit, juice, and medication. He went into the bedroom where she was dressing for the day, kissed her goodbye and headed to church. She came out of the bedroom and found a pleasant surprise awaiting her at her place setting. On a paper plate, he had spelled out the words "I LOVE YOU" in Cheerios.</p>
<p>I was so moved by this story I wanted to share it with you. The gentleness and wholesomeness of their love is a guiding force to follow.</p>
<p>Thank you for your time,</p>
<p>Lesley</p>
Staff
2011-12-17T00:21:00Z
After the Wedding...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/After-the-Wedding.../205726261470972120.html
2011-12-15T15:52:00Z
2011-12-15T15:52:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Thank you so much for helping me to start off my marriage right! I'm 30 yrs old and I just married the man of my dreams 2 weeks ago. Today when I was telling my coworker about the big wedding day, she commented how sad she and her new husband were when all the excitement died down after their wedding and they had to go back to their normal lives. She asked how I was handling that.</p>
<p>I began to tell her how exciting married life was for us because we chose to not live together before we got married. (They had lived together for a few years before marriage.) We got to explore each other and learn all about one another's habits.</p>
<p>It was fun to organize our kitchen together and plan how we were going to set up the guest bedroom. It was fun doing my husband's laundry for the first time and having him show me how he likes his clothes folded. (He's the neat one.) It was fun making dinner together and toasting each other as husband and wife. Most importantly, it was fun snuggling together after a long day and drifting peacefully off to sleep.</p>
<p>All of these special moments would not have happened had we decided to live together first.</p>
<p>I'm so excited about all the things coming up and not sad at all about the wedding day being over. We can look forward to the many years ahead.</p>
<p>Thank you so much for helping us to stand up to the pressure our friends and society puts on us to shack up.</p>
<p>By the way, we own most of your books and have planned on all of our kids reading the "Ten Stupid Things Women/Men Do To Mess Up Their Lives" before we will even think about allowing group dates (after 16 of course).</p>
<p>We are so grateful for you!</p>
<p>Best,</p>
<p>Lindsay</p>
Staff
2011-12-15T15:52:00Z
Mostly Happily Ever After
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mostly-Happily-Ever-After/395531133753540442.html
2011-12-15T00:09:00Z
2011-12-15T00:09:00Z
<p>I know we are not typical because we married too young (ages 17 and 19), but it was a norm "back then". I always say we were just lucky because we were not that smart at the time. But during all these years of marriage we have learned and grown "together" which I think helped us.</p>
<p>We dated each other for 2 1/2 years and I think that was a very important part, knowing someone long enough to really get to know them although I still think you never "really" get to know them. We did not live together before marriage, but knowing each other for several years helped prepare us for living together after marriage. <br /> <br />During our 53 years together we have had many ups and downs and some close calls with calling it quits. But somehow giving some time to each problem and uprising, it managed to sort itself out with some give and take on the part of each partner. Marriage, as life itself, is not always easy or happy but when you look at the positives and overlook some of the negatives, it surely helps. <br /> <br />It seems the young people of today are caught up in instant gratification. Many want what they want right now. A true "marriage" (not a wedding) takes time to grow and mature. You have to deal with and learn from the unpleasant aspects of marriage and learn to cherish and love the other person. Too many want a fairy tale marriage; I personally do not think they exist. Many are in love with the idea of love, which is much different than true love. True love is thinking about the other person's wants and needs and making their life better, just as they do for you. I must say after 53 years of marriage, it is now the best it has ever been. So for all the people contemplating divorce, hang in there. With some time and "effort" almost every problem can be resolved if you truly love one another and want the best for each other. <br /> <br />We have two children, four grandchildren and three great-grandchildren. We have truly been blessed!<br /> <br />Janet</p>
Staff
2011-12-15T00:09:00Z
The Right Thing to Do
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Right-Thing-to-Do/-291154173857165966.html
2011-12-13T15:36:00Z
2011-12-13T15:36:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Recently I had the sad task of walking with a family as they buried their infant daughter after many months of preparation and anticipation. This child was a "miracle child" conceived by a couple after their other children had reached adulthood.</p>
<p>How painful this has been for all of them. But in the midst of their pain and grief, I also observed a powerful moment of love and service.</p>
<p>When the service at the graveside was over, the father carried the tiny casket to the grave and placed it in the ground. The mother and other members of the family gathered around and placed roses on the casket. And then we all watched as the two adult brothers of the tiny infant took the shovels from the cemetery workers and gently and lovingly placed the dirt over the casket, filling the grave in the only act that would do for their sister.</p>
<p>As the family was leaving the gravesite, I spoke once again to each of them. As the two brothers shook my hand I said to them what they did was beautiful and it must have been very difficult. One of the brothers, an active duty Marine, turned to me and said, "It was the right thing to do."</p>
<p>How many times we, your listeners, hear you tell us to go and do the right thing. That day I saw how it is truly done quietly and without fanfare. I am not surprised it would take a Marine to remind me that all of us are supposed to do the right thing, no matter how difficult it may be for us personally.</p>
<p>I know our country is much better because this young man has chosen to serve in the Marines. I want to take a moment to thank him and so many other men and women who have chosen to do the right thing in their lives and who can teach us all what it means to do the right thing.</p>
<p>Thank you for reminding us every day we must look for the right thing to do, regardless of the cost to us personally. Only then can we live with integrity and make a difference in our world.</p>
<p>Fr. Stan De Boe<br />Pastor</p>
Staff
2011-12-13T15:36:00Z
Owning Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Owning-Up/-809822397317103267.html
2011-12-12T23:00:00Z
2011-12-12T23:00:00Z
<p>It took me awhile to own up to the fact I was a less than great mother to my children.</p>
<p>When I finally did, I sat them down individually and asked each to tell me what were the worst things they felt I did. It was varied yet the most consistent thing was the yelling and emotional abuse. There were some things I didn't remember and some I did. Even when I did not agree, I listened and validated their feelings and memories. It was hard. Very hard. However I apologized sincerely and all of them forgave me. This opened doors for new and healthier relationships with them.</p>
<p>Interestingly enough they were more forgiving than I ever dreamed. Since that time a few years ago, my behaviors have continued to change and improve. I hope this helps them in their lives to learn that owning something is the only way to change it. I am so proud of them all.</p>
<p>D.</p>
Staff
2011-12-12T23:00:00Z
Sexual Harassment in Elementary School
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sexual-Harassment-in-Elementary-School/292644023983074628.html
2011-12-09T23:31:00Z
2011-12-09T23:31:00Z
<p>My wife tells the (true) story of what happened when she had my toddler son with her in the grocery store one day. All was quiet and the boy was seated in the basket, while she was looking at some products on the store shelves. After turning her back on the boy momentarily, she heard him utter, in his deepest voice, "HEY, Baby!" She wheeled around to see that another lady had entered the same aisle they were on. Horrified, my wife apologized to the lady, who took it all in stride and was somewhat bemused at the event that had just unfolded. I have no idea where the child picked that up as I have never said anything like that to his mother or anyone else.</p>
<p>That young boy just turned 16 and is the perfect gentleman. It seems to me adults need to learn to cut kids a little bit of slack in understanding they, especially boys, lack the sophistication and wisdom necessary to behave as adults are expected to behave. And if no one else acknowledges it, God Himself knows what we men have to deal with when younger and younger girls are wandering around in public dressed like prostitutes. Boys usually have an additional impediment as their verbal skills are not as mature and well developed as most girls' of the same age.</p>
<p>It really seems to me like the teacher in this recent case of "harassment" from the young boy calling her "cute" was just looking for a fight. She should be fired because of her inability to deal with her students. There are very effective and legitimate ways adult women have of disciplining, shall I say "training", young boys in what is an appropriate vs. inappropriate way of expressing themselves. This teacher failed at her job as an adult female, and as a teacher.</p>
<p>M.</p>
Staff
2011-12-09T23:31:00Z
How to be a Better Wife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-to-be-a-Better-Wife/318812609734542342.html
2011-12-08T22:02:00Z
2011-12-08T22:02:00Z
<p>I googled "how to be a better stay at home mom" last night. I came across a blog (I think) where a woman had asked essentially the same question. I read through the responses until I came to one from a woman who mentioned your book. She said it may seem odd for her to recommend the book, but once she read it, it helped her be a better wife and then a better mother. And so, I looked it up through my iBook store on my iPad. When I saw the title, "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands," I thought, 'you have GOT to be kidding me' but I downloaded a sample, because I am desperate to be the person I always imagined being.</p>
<p>My husband and I had a very rough start to this year. I am barely a chapter into your book and have already been drawn to tears, realizing it was widely my fault. We spent a great deal of time blaming each other for the way we treated each other, if that makes sense. It was an endless circle of how he treated me such and such way because I treated him such and such..... It was a nasty, vicious cycle.</p>
<p>I became a stay at home mom almost 3 years ago, just before the birth of our second child. I've spent more time than I care to admit being resentful of these roles: It felt more like I was the maid at times and taken advantage of. (I should mention my brother has moved in with us which only aided in my frustration.) My husband mentioned for months, "What happened to the woman who was excited to take care of me and our home and children?" This, of course, only made me angrier. I had completely forgotten why we chose for me to stay home in the first place and how excited I was to be able to take care of my family. I even remember wanting to show him how much I appreciated how hard he works for me to stay home. But I forgot all that. It seems, I became concerned with my feelings only.</p>
<p>Our fighting nearly ended our marriage. Fortunately, one night we talked about it all, after a very serious threat of divorce from us both, and we made the conscious decision to make our marriage work. He works nearly 7 days most weeks, and even though we actively work on our relationship, I am ashamed to say I had very much forgotten my 'role.' I'm also, ashamed to admit almost everything you mention in your book about using others as a sounding board and, well, really EVERYTHING is something I have unfortunately done. All of the things you mention from other husbands and how they feel are the same things my husband has said to me, down to how I tend to discount his feelings.</p>
<p>I know I'll learn much more from your book that will help me continue to see where I've been and get me back on track with my husband so we can have a more successful family and marriage.</p>
<p>Sorry for rambling, thanks for your time.<br /><br />T.</p>
Staff
2011-12-08T22:02:00Z
I'm Surviving A Shark Attack
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Surviving-A-Shark-Attack/336910445863603178.html
2011-12-07T22:02:00Z
2011-12-07T22:02:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I recently read "Surviving a Shark Attack on Land." I picked up your book because of past experiences and wanted to know what you had to say on the matter of betrayal. It came as a surprise to me shortly after reading your book I was attacked!</p>
<p>My husband's side of the family gets together for Sunday dinner twice a month. At our last family get together my 2 1/2 year old nephew deliberately pushed my 15 month old. I saw it happen and swiftly and sternly told my nephew "you don't push," picked up my son before he could start crying and walked away. I was not surprised by my nephew's behavior as he regularly pushes and hits his 1 year old sister. My husband and I have witnessed this behavior every time we've been around them and have been careful about letting our son near our nephew.<br /> <br />What was astonishing to me was the reaction I got when I told him this. Everyone in the room fell silent and stared at me, and then began telling me things such as "You shouldn't have said that" and "He is only 2 and doesn't know". Everyone in the room was visibly angry with me! My nephew began to cry because of my reprimand and gained immediate attention from all around him saying it was ok and he should apologize to my son. I remained silent and continued to pay attention to my son.<br /> <br />I was relieved to get home that night as the incident left me a little shaken. I felt what I did was right and could not make sense of the other adults reaction. I should tell you no one in the room asked if my son was ok. <br />The next day the mother of my nephew, called my husband and began to tell him I was too hard on my nephew and had overstepped my bounds. She then had hour long conversation about my bad behavior and attitude towards my nephew. My husband disagreed and defended me the whole time. She told my husband I have a personal vendetta against my nephew! And how I don't know how to reprimand a child because I only have one kid and she, having 3 kids, knows better.<br /> <br />I simply have no words to describe the shock and hurt I feel over this whole thing. I'm grateful to my husband for standing up for me and our son. I know this incident will continue to have ripples and I'm dreading the holidays, however, I have absolutely no intention of apologizing. If roles were reversed I would want my son reprimanded for bad behavior no matter which adult it came from, especially if that behavior hurts someone. If the adults in the room do not protect the younger kids, who will???</p>
<p>I'm grateful for all you do and it is refreshing to come across a public figure who does not allow their principles and what they believe in to sway in the wind like so many others. I know I will survive this shark attack because I know what's important and that is standing up for what I know is right no matter how difficult it is. AND IT IS, AT TIMES, VERY DIFFICULT.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>R</p>
Staff
2011-12-07T22:02:00Z
Give Fussy Children Fish!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Give-Fussy-Children-Fish!/-251841230778587914.html
2011-12-06T23:30:00Z
2011-12-06T23:30:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Schlessinger,</p>
<p>I was very interested in your last caller on December 1, hour 1, whose second child was constantly fussy.</p>
<p>That reminded me of the 2 large fish tanks (50 and 150 gallons) I had in my medical office to amuse the children. I had an octopus, a real baby leopard shark, banded shrimp, anemones with their clown fish, and countless highly colored fish in those tanks. They were so effective in keeping the children quiet I put a 50 gallon tank in the nurses' station on the pediatrics ward of the adjacent hospital.</p>
<p>The nurses at the hospital told me if they could not calm a fussy child, they would put them in a seat next to the fish, and the child would immediately stop crying, and would watch the fish very intently for quite a long time.</p>
<p>You might recommend fish for unhappy children. They don't shed, make noise, mark territory, or stink. One can also leave them for a few days without feeding them if one is on a short vacation.</p>
<p>I've been a listener since syndication, and several years before Deryk was a guest on your show when he was 7.</p>
<p>Dr. Dave</p>
Staff
2011-12-06T23:30:00Z
First There Is a Mountain!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/First-There-Is-a-Mountain!/825801835230749044.html
2011-12-05T23:51:00Z
2011-12-05T23:51:00Z
<p>While listening recently, I heard the song, "First There Is a Mountain" after a commercial break. You asked Efim the significance and he said he played it because you had been doing mountain climber stomach exercises during the break. I made a different connection because of the last caller you spoke to before the break.</p>
<p>That caller talked to you about her successful weight loss, and her regaining 5 lbs during a stressful period. You told her to let it go and get back to treating herself well (I am paraphrasing of course).</p>
<p>When I heard the line in the song, "First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is," made me think of a challenge that seems insurmountable until we decide to make the effort. The mountain seems to disappear when everything is going according to our plans. Then when something else comes along to add to our already full plate, we can start to feel overwhelmed again, and that insurmountable mountain reappears.</p>
<p>So many years ago, I lost a lot of weight myself, and like your caller I felt wonderful - on top of my game, and on top of the world. Then I had a particularly challenging year with a lot of personal changes and added responsibility, and taking care of me fell by the wayside. I am back at square one.</p>
<p>I believed my race was run and I didn't have another one in me, but I feel inspired by your caller and Efim's choice of that song. I am going to start moving that mountain again until it disappears. And the next time it appears, I will not stop treating myself well.</p>
<p>Thanks for being there, and thanks Efim!</p>
<p>M.</p>
Staff
2011-12-05T23:51:00Z
Dating While Raising Underage Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dating-While-Raising-Underage-Children/-271138228512399787.html
2011-12-02T23:47:00Z
2011-12-02T23:47:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I live in San Diego and as you might have seen in the news, a young woman, 34 years old, was found murdered on Thanksgiving. She leaves behind her 13 year old daughter. The suspect, who has been arrested, is her ex-boyfriend.</p>
<p>You list all of the very good reasons for not dating when you have underage children such as possibly bringing a pedophile into your home and that it takes away time you spend with your kids.</p>
<p>Well I was just thinking this is another good reason not to date. What does your poor child do if your crazy ex murders you? Or worse, comes into your home and murders you and your kids. I know it sounds kind of silly or even paranoid, but it happens and it happens more often than it maybe once did. We live in a dangerous society. I feel so profoundly sad for this teenaged girl who is now without her Mom.</p>
<p>I am thankful to not be facing these hardships. I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful daughter and an amazing life. By following your advice I think everyone could be as happy as we are. Thank you for fighting the good fight.</p>
<p>Jennifer</p>
Staff
2011-12-02T23:47:00Z
Reading With Your Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Reading-With-Your-Kids/-789986940015778653.html
2011-12-02T00:08:00Z
2011-12-02T00:08:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>I heard you talk the other day about the value of reading with your children. I have three: ages 16, 13, and 9. I read to my kids a lot when they were younger, but when they reached about 3rd grade, I tapered off and allowed them to read on their own.</p>
<p>My older two are voracious readers; the youngest, not so much. I was talking to his teacher about his difficulty with comprehension and doing poorly on the tests they take after reading a book. She gave me the book "The Reading Promise" by Alice Ozma. WONDERFUL book! The book was for me to read, not for my son and me to read together. It's the true story of how Alice and her dad (when she was in 4th grade) decided to read together for 100 days in a row. When it was all said and done, he read to her every day until she graduated high school and moved away to college! So I took that idea and asked my son, "How many books do you think we could read in 100 days?" And he RAN with it! So much so he printed off calendars for Oct-Dec 2011 and all of 2012! We then set up our "prizes" for each 100 day milestone we reach. I have now read to him for 33 consecutive days. Our first book was over 500 pages. And he got a 100 on the comprehension test! It has been such a special time and I can't encourage parents enough to read with their kids, no matter how old they are! Incidentally, my 13 yr old loves to sit in on our reading sessions! We have also added in ice cream trips for each 25 days reached. Totally love it!</p>
<p>Thank you for all you do to encourage strong relationships between parents and their kids. Your name is a 'household name' around here!</p>
<p>Kathy</p>
Staff
2011-12-02T00:08:00Z
Domestic Violence is Not Acceptable
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Domestic-Violence-is-Not-Acceptable/594004605129914363.html
2011-12-01T00:01:00Z
2011-12-01T00:01:00Z
<p>I am listening to a repeat of today's show and just heard your call with the young woman who is in an abusive relationship and has no kids. (<a href="/pg/jsp/charts/audioMaster.jsp?dispid=306&pid=86071">Listen to the call of the day for 11.29</a>.) I loved your response to her. My heart goes out to the lady because I was in a similar boat.</p>
<p>I have been married 11 years. One time early on I was pushed, but he had me believe it was my fault and I was crazy. He's smashed numerous objects of mine. Last year he ripped a portable dvd player from our youngest son and smashed it to the floor. I stood up to my husband and told him how wrong he was and if he wants to bully someone he needs to pick on somebody his own size. He then threw a jar of nuts at me. I stuck around. I'm a housewife without an education. I figured I couldn't do better.</p>
<p>Four days after celebrating our 11th anniversary we had an argument which led him to strangle me against the bed. I was able to hit him to get his hands off of my throat. I wrapped my arms around him to try to push him out of the way so I could get out our bedroom door. He beat my face repeatedly. I got one more hit in before he knocked me to the floor and pounded the back of my head. Unfortunately it took me getting my ass handed to me to wake up. Yesterday a 3 year restraining order was granted to me. Next week my husband has a hearing facing felony corporal injury to a spouse charges. Tomorrow I give my FREE attorney the divorce papers.</p>
<p>This young caller today can and should get out. Yes, it is embarrassing being abused. I am thankful to be alive because I have training in mixed martial arts. The two hits I got on him managed to break his jaw, but the evidence of my injuries (which include traumatic brain injury) is being held by the court. This girl can be free. The few weeks I have been alone the atmosphere in my home is light and loving. My kids know I love them and will support them. (I managed to get a care giving position starting this week!) You are so right when you told this lady to handle business. That is what I've been doing each day since the assault. I have weak days, but mostly I feel strong. My two young sons are in counseling since they heard the attack and saw my bloody face. Times are hard, but we've managed to have a happy Thanksgiving (with family I was never allowed to see) and we will have a good Christmas too! This young caller of yours today reminded me of myself 10 years ago. Naive. God help her.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>C</p>
Staff
2011-12-01T00:01:00Z
Only a Grandmother Would Know...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Only-a-Grandmother-Would-Know.../95049154532491391.html
2011-11-29T22:33:00Z
2011-11-29T22:33:00Z
<p>A Cup of Tea</p>
<p>One day my Gramma was out, and my Grampa was in charge of me.</p>
<p>I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys.</p>
<p>Grampa was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought him a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Gramma came home.</p>
<p>My Grampa made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' Gramma waited, and sure enough, here I came down the hall with a cup of tea for Grampa, and she watched him drink it up.</p>
<p>Then she said, (as only a gramma would know), "'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?"</p>
<p>Share this with another grandparent or a future grandparent and make them smile….</p>
<p>Danielle</p>
Staff
2011-11-29T22:33:00Z
101st Airborne Delivers Game Ball
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/101st-Airborne-Delivers-Game-Ball/212480033535132246.html
2011-11-28T21:10:00Z
2011-11-28T21:10:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>A friend sent the following to us I found it amazing to watch. I think you will enjoy!!!</p>
<p>Unless you've parachuted, you'll never believe the effect of this stunning jump into the Michigan Football Stadium! We're seeing a military parachutist drop into a stadium at the football game. We know what it looks like from the stadium looking up. But, here's what it looks like for the parachutist coming down. This is really something to watch.</p>
<p>Click: <a href="http://www.wired.com/playbook/2010/10/michigan-parachute-game-ball/" target="_blank">http://www.wired.com/playbook/2010/10/michigan-parachute-game-ball/</a></p>
<p>Teresa</p>
Staff
2011-11-28T21:10:00Z
A Wedding Gift from my Mother-in-Law
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Wedding-Gift-from-my-Mother-in-Law/571889275522276034.html
2011-11-22T22:36:00Z
2011-11-22T22:36:00Z
<p>I want to tell you about the wonderful gift my mother-in-law gave me on our wedding day over 31 years ago. As she helped her older son (my soon-to-be husband) into his tux jacket, she said to him: <em>“Well, Scott, you’re getting married today and you’re off to a new life. <strong>Don’t ever forget who is Number One.</strong>”</em></p>
<p>He kind of laughed and said <em>“Yeah, Mom, I know it’s always you.”</em></p>
<p>She replied: <em>“No, it’s not. From now on, your <strong>wife</strong> is always Number One!”</em></p>
<p>She gave this gift to my three sisters-in-law as well as (one by one) her four sons who married.</p>
<p>Is it any surprise all of us have a close and loving relationship with her? And all four kids’ marriages are strong and healthy, and still going strong.</p>
<p>I passed this same gift off to my son and daughter as they each entered their own marriages in the past few years.</p>
<p>Becca</p>
Staff
2011-11-22T22:36:00Z
Losing a Family Dog
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Losing-a-Family-Dog/-70887171850540857.html
2011-11-21T22:25:00Z
2011-11-21T22:25:00Z
<p>I have heard you speak about how precious your dogs are to you so I am pretty sure you will appreciate how I feel at this moment.</p>
<p>For ten years, our couch was occupied by a beautiful wheaten dog we called Cocoa. Nobody could figure out what breed she was. The groomers said terrier. The vet said Picardi Shepherd. Hubby's cousin said Irish Wolfhound. She had looks in common with all of those breeds, but we just settled on mutt. She was just about 5 months old when she came to live with us and our 4 year old son. We were told she might only grow to be a medium sized dog, maybe 40-50 pounds. But when she reached that size, she didn't stop. By the time she was one and a half, she was knocking my son over as he walked in the door from school. She finally settled at around 65 pounds. (Once he whispered to me, "Mom, can 't we get a smaller dog?" I said, "No.")</p>
<p>My son had trouble getting to sleep alone in his room for many years (he had a night terror when he was 2) and nothing I tried on him worked until we got Cocoa to stay in his room with him until he fell asleep. She resented being made to stay in one place for too long, but she'd do it for a treat. Just about 3 years ago, my son outgrew the whole nighttime fear thing, and Cocoa was relieved of her duty.</p>
<p>For a number of years, Cocoa occupied the yard as well. I don't know quite how it happened as I never actively trained her, but she knew her boundaries. Our next door neighbor half adopted her, so Cocoa felt just as comfortable lying in their yard as she did in her own. She had one spot in particular, though, in the front corner of our front yard, where she spent most of her lazy afternoons. Passersby were amazed at how calm she was as they walked by with their dogs on leashes pulling and whining to get to Cocoa to do a meet and greet. Cocoa just laid there and watched them as they walked past. (However, as they got past the boundary of the yard, she'd often get up to inspect markings and remark them, just so everyone knew for the next time.) The mail delivery lady had a treat for her every time she delivered our mail (I even took photos, video and "friended" her on Facebook) The UPS delivery lady would stop her truck, get out just to give Cocoa a treat, pet her, and get back in her truck and continue on her route. Cocoa touched many lives, many more than I am probably even aware of, just by being a fixture on our front lawn. She had many admirers.</p>
<p>She would get almost as excited to see the next door neighbors return home from a trip or errand as when we returned from somewhere. In fact, she also had no qualms about walking through their front door if it meant that she'd get a "YumYum" treat. Sometimes, if it was a really warm and humid day, she'd hang out with the neighbors in their air conditioned home for a while.</p>
<p>She was so in love with my hubby. On weekends when he went outside to work on a vehicle or do lawn work, she'd be right there by his side. She refused to stay in the house. If he walked out the door and didn't wait for her, she'd get to the door and whine, and then I had to let her out. If he came inside and didn't go back out within a reasonable time frame, she'd bark to come in and be with him.</p>
<p>She was always happiest when we were all together. Sometimes when hubby and I were on the couch (he on one end and I on the other) Cocoa would jump up on the couch and lay in the middle, even if she had to lay on top of our legs.</p>
<p>Just this fall I got serious about walking, and while Cocoa wasn't overweight, I am, so we went on 30 minute walks every day for about the past three weeks. I missed days over the past weekend, so on Tuesday I extended our walk to 45 minutes. On our walks, sometimes people would comment to me how pretty they thought she was and ask what kind of dog she was. I held my head high as we walked past homes with other dogs, usually restrained behind a fence, as they barked and growled at us as we dared to pass by their property. MY dog never did that when she was at home, and all their barking never distracted her from our walk. All I'd have to do is happily say, "C'mon!" and she was right on track with me. I even noticed when I started jogging, she'd pick up the pace and trot right along side me. I decided to use this in my workout, so I alternated between walking and jogging for the last few walks we took together. We were so in sync.</p>
<p>On Wednesday, November 2, she fell ill and my neighbor came with me as we took her to the vet. But by the time the vet had run all the tests she could run, Cocoa was gone. We still don't know for sure why, but the vet suspects a tumor ruptured near her heart causing bleeding that did not show up on the X-ray. My poor hubby had to work, but my wonderful neighbor, who had helped us watch over Cocoa for at least the past 5 years or so, was there for every minute of the ordeal. My son, who turns 15 on Saturday, was brought to the vet's office so he could say good-bye, and we were there holding her and stroking her fur as she left us for another place.</p>
<p>When I was 5 we lost our beloved German Shepherd, Rusty. He was also 10. I don't think I have cried so hard over an animal since that day. Not that I haven't loved our dogs as I was growing up - we had several, but none I was this close to, none I felt really belonged to me like Cocoa did. For the past 7 years, since I quit my job to be a SAHM, I have been the one to care for Cocoa. Now I have no welcoming committee when I arrive home from errands and I have no one to walk with. The silence of her absence is devastating.</p>
<p>I can only hope it will get easier as time goes by, but there will never be another dog like Cocoa.</p>
<p>Thanks for letting me share this story with you. We don't usually consider when we first bring a pet into our homes how difficult it will be to say good-bye to them when their lives are over. We often don't have any way of calculating the impact this pet will have on our lives or on the lives of others. I believe their love and companionship are truly a gift from God. (Oh, and I have an 18-year-old cat, too. I am going to have to go through this again eventually with the cat.)</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Lisa</p>
Staff
2011-11-21T22:25:00Z
Homemaking in the 21st Century
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Homemaking-in-the-21st-Century/365068881447873434.html
2011-11-18T22:53:00Z
2011-11-18T22:53:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>This article "<a href="http://www.ksl.com/?nid=968&sid=17862638#.TsJ9PEltznk.facebook" target="_blank">Stay-at-home moms: Homemaking in the 21st Century</a>" pretty much sums up my feelings about being a stay at home mom. I love my job and wouldn't trade it, but it is not easy. Bedtime is a great time, because it is the time I can finally relax and get some me time and some hubby time.</p>
<p>When I left my job 3 years ago as I was expecting my first baby, lots of people I worked with told me how much I would miss it. I have not missed it yet, well with the exception of being sick, I miss being able to call in sick. My life is crazy. I usually have toys strewn all over the living room. I have lots of help doing dishes and laundry and sometimes have to fold clothes several times. We don't have many of the luxuries others have, but that doesn't matter.</p>
<p>I can honestly say I Am My Kids' (almost 3yrs old and 18 month old boys) Mom. I am here for them and they know it and that is what matters.</p>
<p>I thought you would enjoy this article as well.</p>
<p>Heidi</p>
Staff
2011-11-18T22:53:00Z
Where Have All the Parents Gone?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Where-Have-All-the-Parents-Gone/205123808398418073.html
2011-11-17T23:13:00Z
2011-11-17T23:13:00Z
<p>In the December issue of Parents Magazine, there is an article about leaving elementary students home alone. It is entitled, "The New Latchkey Kids" by Jenny Deam with the subtitle of, "More than a million grade-schoolers have nobody to take care of them once class lets out. Where have all the after-school programs gone?" I'll tell you, my immediate reaction was, where have all the parents gone?</p>
<p>This article is all the proof anybody needs that having a stay at home parent is not just ideal, it's crucial! It goes on to highlight several families who, do to single-parenthood, work demands, layoffs and new job hours, have no one to care for children as young as 5 years old after school and are allowing them to be home alone! Can anyone spell DISASTER?!? These parents are acting so torn, what can I do, my child's after school program closed? My boss gave me a raise and now I don't qualify for tuition assistance? My work hours are inflexible and I had to have a job after being laid off. They really try to play at your heartstrings that it's not really these peoples' choice to leave their kids alone. And even more outrageous, at the end of the article, the magazine gives "home alone safety tips" for parents! One of which is consider getting a cell phone for the walk home. A cell phone? You can afford a cell phone for your kid but you can't pay a teenager or day care worker to watch them for a couple of hours? And of course, you wouldn't need either if you were staying at home with them because you would be THERE, for your child, who is totally INNOCENT! There is going to be a tragedy because of this carelessness and if there is, the parents should be prosecuted. I don't care what sob story you have, single, widowed, losing your house. Who cares if you keep your house and beloved car if something horrible happens to your child? And that's the worse case scenario. How about the feeling of worthlessness you are instilling in that child by abandoning him/her every day for several hours, trusting a 9 year old to do their homework, fix a snack and not choke on it, and then watch age-appropriate tv. I hope you will read this article and address it on your show, simply because I hope it draws attention to the problem, not the excuses-laden where has the money gone for after-school programs problem, but the real problem of parents not putting their kids first!</p>
<p>I am my kids' home schooling mom and I can tell you, I would give up every last creature comfort to keep them safe. There is NOTHING that would let me leave my elementary aged kids home alone...nothing.</p>
<p>Thanks for all you do and for making me my husband's girlfriend!<br /> <br />Mindy</p>
Staff
2011-11-17T23:13:00Z
Traditional Roles for Husbands and Wives
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Traditional-Roles-for-Husbands-and-Wives/857424539522990019.html
2011-11-16T22:47:00Z
2011-11-16T22:47:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>I was just listening to the call from the newlywed gal who had quit her job and was going back to school. She was having a hard time getting all of the housework done and wanted more help from her husband. This made me think of my first husband (by the way, I did not choose wisely).</p>
<p>We both worked full time and had no children. I took care of all of the housework, yard work, laundry, cooking, pet care, and did all the inside painting when needed. I did this because I loved him and it left him more time for his hobby which was car racing. Did I mention that I would make sure his gear and food was ready for when he went racing? Whenever we would get into an argument, he would tell me how I did not do anything around the house and I did not support him in his racing. Well I supported him enough to let him spend all the money he wanted on it, while I tried to make myself happy by overspending on my credit cards. Needless to say, we could not work things out and after 17 years, I left him.</p>
<p>About six months after I left, I met a really nice man. We started dating. We did not live together. Since we both worked, we spent most of our time together on the weekends. When he would say he had housework and laundry to do, I would offer to help him. That way we could get it done faster and get on with the fun stuff. He let me do that about twice. Then he sat me down and told me how much he hated housework and would rather work two jobs and pay someone to do it, than do it himself. He then said he used to pay someone to clean house for him and so he did not like me doing it for free. I just about fell off of my chair, as my ex-husband had put no value in it and used to tell me I lived at our house for free. So my new man started paying me for two hours every week to clean his house. I will admit, I was short on cash at the time and it came in really handy.</p>
<p>We got married this summer and I still take care of the house and laundry and pets, but he does all of the yard work and likes to cook a couple of times a week. I cook him breakfast and fix his lunch for him everyday and cook most nights. I love doing it and I would not have it any other way; he loves being taken care of. And he takes care of me. I want for nothing and I never have to ask for anything as he is always way ahead of me there. I can't wait to get home to him every night. He is my king and I am his queen. I never thought it could be this way. I thank God everyday his ex-wife and ex-live-in girlfriend left him to me.</p>
<p>As for my ex-husband, he is now finding out how much work it takes to run a household. And his place shows it. It does not look as good as it once did. It breaks my heart as I lived in that house longer than any other place in my life. But I would not go back for all the money in the world. Money does not buy happiness. Making the person who you love happy, does!</p>
<p>Keep up the great work!</p>
<p>C.</p>
Staff
2011-11-16T22:47:00Z
Single Professional Female with Morals
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Single-Professional-Female-with-Morals/-157348435874159092.html
2011-11-16T00:07:00Z
2011-11-16T00:07:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>I need encouragement! I'm a single (never married), professional female, age 32, with a Masters degree in Nurse Anesthesia. I listen to your show as often as I can (usually on podcasts) and I want to thank you for your promotion of single living without "shacking up." I firmly believe, as I know you do, women should not live with a man prior to marriage, nor have sex with them before they are joined in matrimony. It is very hard in this day and age to stay committed to such morals, especially with the endless scrutiny of my peers.</p>
<p>I have ended several relationships because I would not relent to the pressure of my boyfriend wanting to have sex. It has amazed me how much sex ultimately meant to these men, and how apparently little I meant to them, in the end. Even with telling these men in the beginning I would not have sex before marriage, they would still become angry, and even hostile when I would not relent, especially once the relationship became more serious. I guess they figured I would succumb to their "charms" after a few months. I am proud to say I have not! Even despite ultimatums, claims of "if you love me you would do it", and the return to being alone (again), I stood firm. One man even told me there were no men who would pursue a relationship with a woman without sex, and if they did, they were either gay or bisexual!</p>
<p>It can be so frustrating - there are many times when I wonder if a "real" man is out there who would love me and respect me so much he would wait. But I really do believe there are men like this out there. And, God willing, I will meet him when the time is right.</p>
<p>So Dr. Laura, never stop encouraging us single women out here in your audience that strive to uphold our morals! It is a difficult struggle, but being able to proudly hold my head high on my wedding day next to my groom will be worth it! Thank you for all you do, and for helping gals like me stay on the right track. Maybe we could come up with a slogan for single women, like you do for mothers (i.e. I am my kid's Mom). Maybe something like "I can honestly wear white on my wedding day!" or "I'm single and I don't shack up!"</p>
<p>Thank you for your guidance - have a great day!</p>
<p>L.</p>
Staff
2011-11-16T00:07:00Z
Scream It to the World
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Scream-It-to-the-World/-36899021239944694.html
2011-11-14T23:58:00Z
2011-11-14T23:58:00Z
<p>I had a friend post this and thought you would like it.</p>
<p>Wife: I love you<br />Husband: I love you too.<br />Wife: Prove it. Scream it to the world.<br />Husband: (whispers in her ear) I love you.<br />Wife: Why are you whispering it to me?<br />Husband: Because you are my world.</p>
<p>It's how I feel most days with my loving best friend, lover, boyfriend, husband.</p>
<p>Mom of two wonderful young men and wife to an amazing man,<br /><br />Pam</p>
Staff
2011-11-14T23:58:00Z
Wounded Warriors Resilience Video
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Wounded-Warriors-Resilience-Video/629633576860858233.html
2011-11-12T00:10:00Z
2011-11-12T00:10:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>In honor of Veteran's Day, I'd like to share a video of some awesome individuals who have overcome adversity with grace and a beauty that brings me to tears. They are our nation's wounded warriors. Please go to <a href="http://nspyr.com/">http://nspyr.com/</a> and check out the Wounded Warriors' Resilience video. It is a short documentary film about the extraordinary sacrifice and inspiring resilience of brave American men and women in uniform who have served in Iraq and Afghanistan since 9/11, been wounded, and are role models of the human capacity to overcome adversity. It is 21 minutes in length, but definitely worth it. I am so humbled by these individuals. They are my heroes.</p>
<p>Thank you for what you do. It is one of the highlights of my day to listen to your program. You, too, inspire me and give me great comfort. Don't ever stop!</p>
<p>With gratitude,</p>
<p>Sonya</p>
Staff
2011-11-12T00:10:00Z
The Green Tricycle
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Green-Tricycle/992255590059050838.html
2011-11-11T00:47:00Z
2011-11-11T00:47:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I had the chance to speak with you recently about a gift I had received and how I was reluctant to accept it. Your advice was to return it. I will be doing that. </p>
<p>You also said my dad would be proud of me for my actions. Thank you. I thought I would take a moment and share something I wrote for my dad. I was able to give this to him shortly before his passing when he was still well enough to take it all in.</p>
<p>Respectfully</p>
<p>Scott</p>
<p><br /><strong>The Green Tricycle</strong></p>
<p>I do not remember exactly how old I was, maybe 4 or 5, but it was my birthday and Dad had gone to great lengths to resurrect a tricycle for me. From what I have been told it was in pretty sorry shape when he got it. I know he spent quite a bit of time cleaning it up. Sanding and scraping paint and rust from the tiny frame, and then carefully covering it in a shinning coat of green paint. When he presented the tricycle to me, I looked it over and made it clear to Dad I did not like the color. I would have much preferred red. I am not sure I recall the look on his face but I know he was disappointed, although he did not make a big deal of it and I learned to enjoy my green tricycle.</p>
<p>I often think of the green tricycle now that many years have passed and another chapter in our lives is about to be written. I have learned many things since I rode that green tricycle behind the little house in Sturgeon. Now that we have come to this junction I look back at what my dad taught me. First and foremost: be nice to others. My Dad was always there when someone needed to move, or had a car that required fixing. I may not have realized it at the time but his actions led me to join the volunteer fire and ambulance services. Thank you for teaching me to give something back.</p>
<p>My parents have been married for 48 years. I have watched them go through the good times and the not so good times but they are still together. Last Christmas they asked one another what they wanted and they both replied YOU. I am now married to my best friend and loving every minute of it. Although my dad is not one vocalize or show his emotions outwardly, he does care deeply. Thank you for teaching me how to love.</p>
<p>Faith is something I struggle with daily. But everyday I think about how my dad must struggle with his faith and then I realize that he does not struggle, he believes. Recently my dad told me his reward awaits him and we are all on the same road and some of us are exiting a little sooner. My faith grows everyday; sometimes not as much as I would like and I slip back every once in awhile. Thank you for teaching me to believe.</p>
<p><br />I have always marveled at machinery both big and small, from pocket watches to cars to tractors and beyond. I can remember sitting at the watchmaker's bench with Dad looking over my shoulder guiding my small hands to disassemble and then put the pieces back together so the watch would actually tell the time. To this day I still look at machines of all types and think back to the days of pocket watches. Thank you for teaching me to pick up a screwdriver.</p>
<p><br />It was challenging to be the first kid. My dad cared deeply and was often more cautious than I wanted or believed I needed. But I grew up safely. Now that I am older I consider his words and actions when undertaking things that are considered dangerous - whether I was running into burning buildings or flying light aircraft and helicopters. Those lessons enabled us to take the greatest adventure ever, our flight</p>
<p>from Denver to Salisbury. When we landed in Maryland and stepped onto the tarmac you looked at me and told me how proud you were I found all the airports. My reply was it was all thanks to a GPS. We had a good laugh. Thank you for teaching me have fun and be safe.</p>
<p>Now for the hard part, I know during my teenage years we often did not see eye to eye on much of anything and we were not as close as we could have been. I am thankful we have arrived at this place where we talk nearly every day and share the joy of being father and son. You have taken my wife into your heart as if she was your own. She loves you very much. We will miss you more than you can imagine. God speed you. Some day we will find ourselves together again. I will be the one riding the green tricycle.</p>
Staff
2011-11-11T00:47:00Z
Why People Adopt from Overseas
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-People-Adopt-from-Overseas/657328087762875877.html
2011-11-09T23:56:00Z
2011-11-09T23:56:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>You recently questioned on-air why some people would adopt overseas rather than adopt within the USA. The answer is simple: it's becoming too difficult, too complicated, too intrusive, and too expensive to adopt domestically and foreign adoptions are becoming more and more attractive.</p>
<p>Most people who adopt want a closed adoption because they don't want the birth parents involved and complicating the issue of who the parent really is. After all, the adoptive parent IS the parent, NOT the babysitter.</p>
<p>However, many birth mothers are now demanding an open adoption including regular contact with the child and regular progress updates. I once opened the yellow pages to the adoption pages and saw a lovely picture of a young woman holding up a two-year-old girl. The caption below read, "Birth mother Jenny holds her two-year-old daughter Olivia during a regular visit with the adoptive parents." The picture and caption soured me on adoptions when I discovered this was increasingly the norm, not the exception.</p>
<p>Domestic adoptions of infants take a minimum of one to two years and can take even longer if you want a closed adoption. You have to welcome into your family a birth mother who may not share your morals and values, compete with other potential adoptive parents for the privilege of adopting her child, give out reams of testimonials and personal history, etc., etc.</p>
<p>By contrast, foreign adoptions are much simpler. You go through the regular social services background checks and take the required courses that are required even for domestic adoptions, and then receive your child in a matter of months, not a matter of years. Best of all, you don't have to entertain the birth family pounding at your door, demanding access to YOUR child.</p>
<p>My personal opinion is the pro-abortion crowd (there is no such thing as pro-choice with that crowd) is intentionally making adoptions more and more difficult. Why? Because adoption offers a viable alternative to abortion. Eliminate the domestic demand for adoption and you eliminate one of the strongest counter-arguments to murdering an unborn baby. By making adoption as difficult and unpleasant as possible helps eliminate the demand for domestic adoptions. You've probably heard of many women who opt for abortion rather than adoption because they don't want the child showing up on their doorstep one day. Many birth mothers thought by choosing a closed adoption, they would never see the child again. Many adoptive parents thought by choosing a closed adoption, the birth family would never interfere. Yet, just a few years ago Oregon passed a law retro-actively changing all closed options to open adoptions in that state and requiring all future adoptions to be open. In other states, court orders have opened supposedly closed adoptions.</p>
<p>Yes, there is a justifiable preference to overseas adoptions.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Rich</p>
Staff
2011-11-09T23:56:00Z
He's Not A Man If He Denies His Child
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hes-Not-A-Man-If-He-Denies-His-Child/-389516897881118056.html
2011-11-08T23:20:00Z
2011-11-08T23:20:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>While I have a lot of things to do at this time, I wanted to take time to write to you. You took a call recently that has been on my mind. The call was from the lady who got married in July to a guy who does not claim his child.</p>
<p>Sixteen years ago when I was 25 years old, I was engaged to a guy who also did not claim a child that was a result of a one night drunken stand prior to us getting together. I knew it going into the relationship, but I was going to change him. I did, somewhat. I encouraged my fiancée to reach out to this 5 year old and arranged for some visitation. Prior to that, there was none despite a paternity test and he was paying child support. I remember that little boy coming over for a few afternoon visits looking just like his father. There was no denying this kid belonged to this guy.</p>
<p>After the few visits I initiated, my fiancée didn't want anymore to do with this child. He was too embarrassed.</p>
<p>Invitations were out, engagement announcement with picture was in all the papers, and I had 2 bridal showers thrown for me, I called the wedding off. Do you know how hard it was to make all those phone calls and return all those gifts to people? The hardest, yet smartest decision I have ever made in my life!</p>
<p>So to your caller and others in the wrong relationship, a man is not A Man if he is willing to deny his own child. And it is possible to survive breaking off an engagement at the last second. Those who are true to you will understand. Those who aren't, are not worth keeping around.</p>
<p>I'm a stay at home mom and my husband's girlfriend. I have been married for 12 years and have an 8 year old and 2 year old. I was helping my 2 year old daughter take her bath tonight (thinking about that call) and looked into her eyes and wondered, who would not claim you?</p>
<p>I know very little about that boy from 16 years ago, but I do know this. His father went on to marry and have 5 other children with his wife. That little 5 year old is now a United States Marine. His father still does not claim him.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Kim</p>
Staff
2011-11-08T23:20:00Z
Parents Fighting in Front of the Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parents-Fighting-in-Front-of-the-Kids/-436842173288850681.html
2011-11-07T23:47:00Z
2011-11-07T23:47:00Z
<p>I wanted to thank you for the advise you gave our son who was brave enough to call your show and ask how he could deal with his parents fighting... sometimes in from of him and his siblings. I am embarrassed to say that was me and my husband, but proud to say that was our son.</p>
<p>He posed a question to me which prompted me to take a good look at how I was treating my husband. "Is this how two people who love each other treat each other?" I didn't like the image I had been presenting. Then I read your books, "10 Stupid Things Couples do to Mess up Their Relationship," and the "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." wow...</p>
<p>I made a list of things I am grateful for and my husband is now at the top, followed by our children. I read that list every morning as a reminder and my life has become more simple and more enjoyable.</p>
<p>"Care for them like a loving wife and mom. Love them all, and treat each moment as if it were the best and the last" is my new motto.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Wife to a Really Great Guy, and, Mom of a Really Smart Kid</p>
Staff
2011-11-07T23:47:00Z
Irrational Fears of Losing People I Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Irrational-Fears-of-Losing-People-I-Love/-933315584221191425.html
2011-11-04T21:13:00Z
2011-11-04T21:13:00Z
<p>I just finished a good cry, thanks to one of your callers. I've heard many calls that were educational or helped me with a personal dilemma, but none touched me like this. I heard a caller who wanted to ask you about why she was obsessed with death. You immediately redirected her to think back to the age of 2 and let you know what she remembered. The connection wasn't immediate, but as soon as she explained her grandpa's death led her mother to 2 months of "not being a mom," you told her that she was still that scared 2-year old child, afraid of being abandoned. I was working at my computer and immediately burst into tears, thinking about my own sometimes irrational fears of losing people I love.</p>
<p>When my husband leaves for work, an hour before I do, I sometimes worry myself to the point of an upset stomach, wondering if he's mad and thinking how terribly I'd feel if he didn't make it home that night. When I think about my dad eventually passing, I get horribly sad (even though he's amazingly healthy and nowhere near death.) I should be treasuring time with him not worrying myself sick.</p>
<p>It all goes back to having 2 parents in the military and waking up one night, as a very small child, to find a complete stranger babysitting me at my house, so my parents could go help a fellow soldier with a domestic dispute type issue. When I realized they were both gone and hadn't said goodbye to me, I lost it. The poor babysitter had to call them home immediately.</p>
<p>After that, every time Dad left for work, I made it my obsession to say goodbye. I would frequently cry if he left before I got up. This continued into my teen years. Then, when I was 15, he and my mother got divorced. You can imagine my abandonment issues continued.</p>
<p>Listening to the call you gave me something powerful to think about. As you can tell, I needed to hear those words you said to the caller. I'll make it a point to remind myself, at those times, that I'm not having rational thoughts. As my husband has mentioned, I'm a smart woman who knows what's rational, even though I don't always use rational thought in my own personal situations. I'm glad to have clarity. Thank you for reminding me worrying isn't healthy. I'll use your tips to get through my next rough moment and am deeply grateful for your advice. I am so glad I subscribe to the podcast, because you never know when a caller is going to ask about something that hits home. I appreciate your helpful insights.</p>
<p>B.</p>
Staff
2011-11-04T21:13:00Z
Little Boobs and Big Self Confidence
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Little-Boobs-and-Big-Self-Confidence/40033462365048882.html
2011-11-03T15:53:00Z
2011-11-03T15:53:00Z
<p>I called you the other day about me wanting breast implants... and my husband being against the idea because he said I was already perfect.</p>
<p>I wanted to tell you thank you. When I was on hold, I was thinking to myself, "I'm going to be so bummed out if Dr. Laura agrees with my husband." To my surprise, when I got off the phone with you and you had agreed with him, I felt SO good about myself. I realized that I should have the best self confidence in the world because I have a man who tells me I am perfect. Wow. Thank you for helping me realize that. You told me to buy a padded bra and wear that... but I've been proudly wearing my sports bra (with a shirt of course).</p>
<p>Lastly, I found this cute list of ideas to do for your husband. It's called <a href="http://blessedmommy.hubpages.com/hub/101ways2sayiloveyou-husband" target="_blank">101 Ways to Tell Your Husband "I Love You"</a>. I thought you might like to read some of the ideas. Some of them are pretty cute!!!</p>
<p>Thanks again!<br />Small boobed and happy Nicole</p>
Staff
2011-11-03T15:53:00Z
Insight Into What It Takes to Save my Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Insight-Into-What-It-Takes-to-Save-my-Marriage/-334197007107838213.html
2011-11-02T22:20:00Z
2011-11-02T22:20:00Z
<p>I came across your book "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" in the local library while looking for marriage help books.</p>
<p>My husband of 19 years chose to separate six weeks ago because he said I've made him feel worthless the past several years. I never realized how I treated him, and he never complained until this point. After he left, I've begun working on myself and how I see my husband. He is the best man I know and I don't want to lose him because of my own stupidity. I started reading your book and I see how poorly I've treated him on every page I read. I want to make changes within myself and how I act and react to him. I do not want a divorce because he is the love of my life.</p>
<p>I've had a history of abuse which happened in my teens. I am now 40, and I have never spoken about the extent of it to my husband. It is difficult for me to open up and trust him. I was afraid he wouldn't love me anymore. I told him the whole story about the abuse after we separated and I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I've asked for forgiveness from God many times for things in my past, but I never forgave myself or others. Once I started to forgive myself, the healing has begun and I'm open to improving myself, my self-worth, and how I act toward my husband. I knew he loved me and I thought he would always be there for me, all the while, never giving a thought to what I could do for him to make him happier and our marriage better.</p>
<p>Reading your book has really opened my eyes to what I need to do to save my marriage. There is nothing I won't do. I know I can change because I really want to. I want to be a better person, not just for my husband and children, but for everyone who I come into contact with during the day. After reading your book I have a completely different outlook and insight into what it takes to make a marriage happy and healthy. Thank you so much for writing this book. I wish I knew this information when we were first married because I could've had the happiest marriage and husband in town. For now, all I can do is make my husband and our relationship my primary focus and hope he sees I can change, and gives me another chance to be a better wife. Thank you Dr. Laura!!!</p>
<p>V.</p>
Staff
2011-11-02T22:20:00Z
I Cannot Raise These Boys Into Men By Myself
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Cannot-Raise-These-Boys-Into-Men-By-Myself/590078485519528326.html
2011-11-01T22:07:00Z
2011-11-01T22:07:00Z
<p>As I sit in my bedroom surrounded by boxes I am compelled to write you. Had it not been for your sound advice, I would not be moving in 2 short weeks to live near my immediate family. I am a divorced mom of twin 4 year old boys. Three months ago their dad picked up and moved to Las Vegas to chase his gambling addiction (his first love) and is now 3 states away. I know I cannot raise these little boys into men alone and I have no plans of marrying until they are grown.</p>
<p>Last month I decided to drop everything and move to where my family lives. I sold my house in less than 3 weeks on the market and my boss is allowing me to work remotely from home. My brother, brother-in-law, and father are incredibly honored to help me raise these little boys into good, decent men. I am so thankful to the men in my family who are willing to help wipe-up the mess I created. I am also thankful for you who reminds me daily to do the right thing. I did not do the right thing in choosing their father, but I do know that moving to small-town Kansas so my boys can be around some real men and role-models is the right thing.</p>
<p>Thank you,</p>
<p>J.</p>
Staff
2011-11-01T22:07:00Z
Be Prepared for the Unexpected
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Be-Prepared-for-the-Unexpected/-975022971897873080.html
2011-10-31T21:38:00Z
2011-10-31T21:38:00Z
<p>Hi Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I want to thank you for being on the air with encouragement for Moms, wives, families etc. I grew up in a large family, relatively independent, finished college and traveled around the world before settling down. I sailed in the first all women's team in the International Ocean Racing Competitions. We competed in the Pan Am Clipper Cup in 1980 in Hawaii on the NZ made sail boat Ruffian.<br /> <br />I was 30 before I settled down, married and had 5 children. The first shock to my system was when I became pregnant and spent 9 months vomiting. I was surprised my body responded this way to the pregnancy but I plowed through the days and definitely had a total rearrangement of my lifestyle.</p>
<p>The second life changing experience was when our four year old son was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. I was seven months pregnant with my 4th child. This medical drama continued on for a seven year battle during which time I fought physicians, neurosurgeons, insurance companies, hospitals etc to insure my son was treated with the best possible care. Our son died when he was eleven years old. It was after this that I trudged through the day trying to keep my sanity waiting until you came on the air with encouragement in the above mentioned areas of life. I choose you as my therapy, I bought myself a little walkman as I walked through the park to pick up my children from school and I didn't want to miss a word of your show.</p>
<p>You kept me sane with a healthy perspective and direction when I was grasping for my own soul and sanity needing to be available to my children and husband when I was hardly available to myself.</p>
<p>I am very grateful to my husband who worked hard so I could stay home and care for our children. I could not have anticipated the challenges I was to face as a mother but to have been able to be present everyday my son was alive and be available to his siblings who also suffered this challenging journey together was a blessing.</p>
<p>Putting ourselves in a position whereby I was able to stay home with our growing children was a conscious decision. We bought an inexpensive house, had one car until we could afford a second (all bought used) made meals at home, enjoyed the simple pleasures of life at the local park and budgeted in many other ways.<br /> <br />I want to let other women and parents know that sometimes as parents we do not have the choices we sometimes expect and to be prepared for the unexpected.<br /> <br />For me timing and perspective were important. I did some of the things I wanted to do before having children so felt free to give them the best of my time when they most needed it. None of this was easy but I can look back on most of this with little regret. Thank you for being a part of my family. You provide life saving help even when you may not know it.</p>
<p>B.</p>
Staff
2011-10-31T21:38:00Z
Hiding Wood
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hiding-Wood/36895175471102166.html
2011-10-28T21:34:00Z
2011-10-28T21:34:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I loved the call from the mom who needed some ideas to help her son "hide wood". Some of the things that worked for me "popped up" in my brain. It can be an embarrassing event if you are "blessed" more than most or for your age.</p>
<p>Ways to hide wood.</p>
<p>1. Holding a binder or textbook in front works. A backpack, gym bag or jacket is good too. It could also be a good time to ask to carry a box of something for someone...anyone.</p>
<p>2. Tie a sweat shirt or sweater around your waist so the hanging arms are in the front.</p>
<p>3. Baggy jeans of thicker denim provide more resistance to attempts to alter or enhance the shape of the jean. Track pants and thin cotton cargos are not good for controlling "situations".</p>
<p>4. Bend over to tie a shoe and think about gross, unsexy stuff until the tide subsides. Also, while bent down, take a second to give a quick adjustment. Tuck it down or strait up and flat against you.</p>
<p>5. Wear oversized, structured, box-type shirts such as sport team jerseys that hang below the problem area. The old Dr Laura 'Go Take on the Day!' t-shirt is probably an unwise choice if too tight.</p>
<p>6. Boxer shorts and some boxer brief type underwear do not provide control in emergency situations. Tighter speedo-type briefs and jock straps can hold things down or in better. Double up if needed!</p>
<p>7. How you "dress" is a term from the dance world meaning, does it hang left, right, up or down? "Dressing down" in a tight brief makes things less obvious. Tuck it down.</p>
<p>8. Stay seated and don't get up. If you get called to go to the blackboard, pretend to need to go the washroom. Go quickly.</p>
<p>9. Definitely....under no circumstances...DO NOT TOUCH OR RUB IT MORE THAN ONCE AND ONLY FOR ADJUSTMENT PURPOSES! More than once and your playing with it!!! (and someone always sees!)</p>
<p>10. If you are worried about things "popping up" when you wrestle in gym class, partner up with the stinky kid.</p>
<p>Kind Regards, <br />Peter</p>
<p>P.S. I hope you are going to continue Corny Joke day! <em>(Yes, indeed we are continuing it!)</em></p>
Staff
2011-10-28T21:34:00Z
I Didn't Appreciate Him Enough - Until Now
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Didnt-Appreciate-Him-Enough---Until-Now/-539345634728027519.html
2011-10-27T21:55:00Z
2011-10-27T21:55:00Z
<p>I am still working on being the wife I need to be and hopefully after the perspective I received today I'll continue to improve.</p>
<p>My husband and I married young, I often use the phrase, "Don't regret it, Don't recommend it." One thing my dad did say to me during our engagement was, "I'll never have to worry about you financially. Your husband-to-be is a hard worker." At the young age of 18, I didn't really understand that phrase, but I do now and my dad was right. My husband is an amazingly hard worker. We've worked together to accomplish some amazing things (including our six children), and I have had the great pleasure of being home full time with them most of their lives, but I think I've taken it for grant it a little bit.</p>
<p>After reading "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" I've tried to change some of my bad habits and mind sets, but unfortunately I fall back into some of those bad habits, and become a little demanding and selfish.</p>
<p>A couple weeks, ago my husband became short staffed at work. At this same time he changed computer systems, which has put another stress into the equation. I offered to come in and help a little. He said whatever I could do, would be great. He also made the point I should come and go as needed for our kids left at home. I've been doing this for about 3 weeks, for just 3 days a week, for probably a maximum of 3 hours a day. Now that I have seen him function in the work setting, I am amazed. I'm amazed at his efficiency, at his concern, at how hard he works. This week has been a sad hard week for him. I've seen it a little more first hand than I've ever seen it before. (At home I've just been a sounding board, but I don't experience it and understand it like I did this week.) Emotionally, he has had to deal with things that are some of the saddest things in life, and he still keeps going. He's worked long hours and then comes home and gets called back in to finish something. We knew when he chose this profession this was what would happen, but I haven't ever comprehended (and probably still don't), how mentally and physically exhausting his job is. Yet daily he leaves the house to go to work, daily he helps me clean up once he gets home, weekly he helps with the wash, goes to the kids' games, and listens to me about the concerns of our family. I just don't appreciate him enough nor do I put forth the same effort he does. He motivated me today to keep going when life seems overwhelming, unfair, or I'm just too tired. He motivated me to be better and to be the wife he deserves.</p>
<p>M.</p>
Staff
2011-10-27T21:55:00Z
My Man-Child Revelation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Man-Child-Revelation/887323628931160637.html
2011-10-26T19:55:00Z
2011-10-26T19:55:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>You were a mother figure to me as a teen in the early 80's during some of my most difficult times. I listened to your radio show every night as I lay in bed. I've started listening to you again now that I'm in my 40's. I did a lot of stupid things in between, the most egregious being the emasculation of both my first and now second husband who only wanted to be a strong man and take care of me and my son.</p>
<p>I heard one of your callers talk about her "almost" 18 year old son and I wanted to tell my story. I had bonded with my boy as most single mothers do and wanting to protect him at all cost, kept my new husband from any fatherly council regardless if it was good or bad toward him. As my son approached his teens, I kept my husband from any form of discipline and continually told him that my son, who had no regard for either of us, would turn out just fine if left to my control. Dr. Laura, at 18 my husband said enough was enough and decided to put him out. My boy had nothing but the clothes on his back and a beat up car we had given him.</p>
<p>As a mother, this was the most devastating thing I had ever had to walk through. I cried for days which then turned into weeks. I thought my husband was heartless, cruel and even thought about turning him into CPS. My thoughts turned again and again to divorce. I was sure what my boy needed was his mommy to rescue him; we could get a place together and all would be well. At the time, my second child, who I had with the current husband was already 7 and the thought of taking him away from his home quickly slapped the divorce thought out of my thinking. Yet I was hateful towards my husband for his actions and made him pay in every sense of the word!</p>
<p>Months went by, my son found a friend to move in with, quickly got a job, and even registered for college. He BEGAN TO LIVE LIFE! Surprisingly (to me anyway) he rose to the challenge. He stayed away from our home for some time yet called me every other day just to tell me he loved me and was fine. Then a strange thing began to happen. Instead of calling me, he began to call my husband on his cell phone. They began having conversations pertaining to life and challenges he was having. At first I thought, how strange. The man who seemed so cruel and heartless was now being sought after for advice on life. Hmmm....</p>
<p>Dr. Laura, I'm a convert! I began to ask God for a new perspective on the roll of the man in my life. Your books mysteriously began to appear in my mail box. My eyes have been opened. My "child" is now 24 years old, has a job with a reputable firm, finished college and is preparing for marriage. He has ALWAYS found a way to take care of himself and has never once come back begging for anything. Today he has a wonderful relationship with my husband. By kicking him out of our home, my husband did him the biggest favor in life. I shudder to think what would have become of him had I insisted he remain home. Yikes!</p>
<p>Oh and the second boy, who is now 15? We had a Coming Of Age party (much like the Jewish tradition) at the age of 13 and in front of family and friends physically and spiritually handed him over to his father's tutelage. I do NOT want to repeat the same mistake I made with my first. I know his teen years will be much easier as he has already begun to emulate his strong father. It just took me getting out of the way and allowing my man to be a man in front of the boys. I now know my place as my boys' mother and I only wish I had known it much sooner.</p>
<p>Thank you for your wonderful insight and I trust you will talk me to sleep 40 years from now as well.</p>
<p>Forever Grateful,</p>
<p>Marci</p>
Staff
2011-10-26T19:55:00Z
Men Don't Tell
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Men-Dont-Tell/-51506173548898583.html
2011-10-25T19:30:00Z
2011-10-25T19:30:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura.</p>
<p>I just heard Dr. Ned Holstein of <a href="http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/" target="_blank">Fathers and Families</a> was a guest on your show. I wanted to pass some information along to you regarding domestic violence and how it affects men.</p>
<p>I am the founder of <a href="http://www.falsedvireports.com" target="_blank">www.falsedvireports.com</a> based in Florida. I have spoken with Dr. Holstein on a couple of occasions and he has posted my recent documentary on domestic violence on his website. I am currently working on the next one and it should be released soon. Here is the link the first one <a href="http://vimeo.com/27322731" target="_blank">DVI: The Inside Story</a>. I'll send you the next one in a few weeks.</p>
<p>Thanks,<br />Tom Lemons</p>
Staff
2011-10-25T19:30:00Z
Pro Gun Ownership
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Pro-Gun-Ownership/354081410618703818.html
2011-10-24T09:03:00Z
2011-10-24T09:03:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura</p>
<p>Last evening, I received a call from my 21 year old college student daughter regarding her communication course (speech class) at a university in the San Francisco Bay area. She needed a persuasive topic for her next speech. After a minute's discussion, I came up with the perfect idea based on your show's opening topic about gun control.</p>
<p>It was easy to look up the statistics you quoted. Actually the Global Gun History of weapons ban came up on the first try as did the correct statistics regarding childhood deaths by gun. This provided her the beginning "hook" for her speech and starting point for research. The facts are right out there, so thank you for taking the time to tell us.</p>
<p>The anti-gun control issue will not be an "easy sell" in the Oakland area, but taking the non-popular view makes for a more captivating presentation as I am sure YOU are aware!</p>
<p>You never know how your words affect people. Just as you did not know you were creating a speech topic, she does not know whose mind she might change.</p>
<p>Thanks for the homework help.</p>
<p>Sandra <br />Faithful listener too many years to remember.</p>
<p>P.S. She was saving her anti-abortion speech for the final, which is double credit. She has given a similar speech before with great success.</p>
<p>Yes, between a stay a home mom, married to her dad for 33 years and your radio show on all the trips from private Christian school to home in the afternoons, we did well by this one!</p>
Staff
2011-10-24T09:03:00Z
From a Man's Perspective
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/From-a-Mans-Perspective/-824845870336649913.html
2011-10-21T22:11:00Z
2011-10-21T22:11:00Z
<p>Sex is to men as eating is to mankind. Men only think about sex four times a day, when they are about to get out of bed in the morning, all during the morning, all during the afternoon, and in the evening as they get back into bed, (Maybe a fifth time - when they are asleep).</p>
<p>Women's breasts are to men what chocolate is to women. As the smell of chocolate will drive a woman crazy, breasts do that for men.</p>
<p>Most women today do a lot of advertising as to what is for sale, but decent men don't buy and try not to window shop.</p>
<p>Women have no idea of the power they control over men. They appear to be dumb like a fox or willfully naïve. </p>
<p>David</p>
Staff
2011-10-21T22:11:00Z
Thank You for Your Service
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You-for-Your-Service/183875061667287759.html
2011-10-20T20:05:00Z
2011-10-20T20:05:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I had the good fortune to marry the love of my life. My husband has the gift of common sense and intelligence. He is patient, but firm, raising our two daughters. We are so proud of what they have accomplished in their lives and they are wonderful mothers.</p>
<p>My man is a Vietnam veteran and keeps his experiences close to his heart. He does not talk about it much. Last month, I was in Reno and a man and wife were walking ahead of me. He had a Harley vest that was embroidered with “Vietnam Vet” in the back. Of course I thought of my husband immediately and stopped this couple. I held out my hand and introduced myself to him and said, "Thank you so much for serving this country. We still remember and appreciate your service." The man started to cry and said, "Thank you. You are the only person who has ever said that to me!" His wife told me people spat on him when he came home from the service. I said, "I know. They did the same thing to my husband, but these vets saw to it that would never happen to another vet."</p>
<p>My heart and deepest thanks go out to all veterans.</p>
<p>Thank you for reading this and not forgetting ALL war veterans.</p>
<p>Christine</p>
Staff
2011-10-20T20:05:00Z
It's Not a Relationship Worth Having
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Not-a-Relationship-Worth-Having/-209872840579487339.html
2011-10-19T22:53:00Z
2011-10-19T22:53:00Z
<p>This is regarding the caller who worried she'd regret not having a relationship with her mother.</p>
<p>My parents were divorced when I was very young (less than 1). My father remarried when I was 2. He and my momma and "maternal" grandmother raised me well. (Funny note: Dad called Grandmother, "Mom." I always she was his mom.)</p>
<p>I met my birth mother around 10 or 11 and moved in with her (worst mistake of my life). She was a horrible excuse for a mother or even a woman.</p>
<p>Moving right along, when my children were 2 and 3 (1988), she told my son he was going to be a bastard like his father. She was a 24/7 alcoholic (alcohol in coffee in am, all day and all night). I told her when she decided life and family were more important than the alcohol, she should let me know. I only heard from her at 2 am every 6 months or so. My children would ask questions and I would tell them the truth. She liked her alcohol more than she liked family. She died in her sleep in 2009. We just knew it was going to be alcohol related but, it was ischemic heart disease. DR. LAURA, YOU WERE CORRECT! It was a relief not to have to worry about 2 am calls, get griped at and hung up on. She did enough damage to me and my family all the way around. Damn this feels good to say to someone. It feels GREAT not to have to worry what is coming next. She showed up at my daughter's graduation drunk and fell down the bleachers. There are lots more stories like these. All I tried to do was shield my children like my father, mom, and Grandma did for me. (Note: Grandma was HER mother.) Gram is now 86 and lives with me with short term memory loss and says she doesn't know what she would with out me. That tells me, I didn't turn out like the birth mother. I have always stressed about being like her or acting like her (it almost eats me alive to keep from being anything like her).</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura! It's nice to tell someone. I truly do believe she (your caller) will have relief someday as I do now.</p>
<p>D.</p>
Staff
2011-10-19T22:53:00Z
Caving In to Their Demands
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Caving-In-to-Their-Demands/-464431738097374929.html
2011-10-18T07:00:00Z
2011-10-18T07:00:00Z
<p>Hello, Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am an avid listener and have been for many many years. I believe I am a better wife, mother, and person because of you and your advice and outlook on doing the right thing.</p>
<p>I have two children who have NEVER been to day care. They are 10 and 7. Even though there was a period of time when my husband was laid off from work when my children were young, and I had to go back to work, we have always thought it best to raise our own children. My husband and I always made it our priority to have one of us at home with them.</p>
<p>So as you can tell, I am not an advocate of day care! I think that as parents we owe it to our children (and ourselves) to raise our own children!</p>
<p>While I was working from home this morning, I received an email from a group of moms. It's an email/website that offers moms the chance to post ideas/dilemmas/etc. and let others offer up their suggestions/answers. Well today's question was from a mom who has a child who cried when she dropped him off on his first and second days of day care (imagine that!!). She said "He was fine all day until it was lunch time and then he cried for his mommy. Today, was a different story. He made sure I wasn't gonna leave him-no matter what I said!!! I can't stand to see him cry the way that he did!"</p>
<p>Dr. Laura - I almost threw up my lunch reading the comments left for this mother! Others were telling her, don't worry he'll get used to it, it's normal, etc. One woman actually said, "Parents who linger with their children are "caving in" to their demands." CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS???????</p>
<p>I don't even know where to start other than to tell you to keep on fighting the good fight of encouraging moms and dads to do their part and raise their own children!! Having children requires lots of sacrifices and the first ones may have to be giving up some of life's luxuries to stay home and be with our kids! No wonder our world is turning into the kind of place where I'm afraid my children, who I'm raising to be kind, responsible, respectful human beings are the minority!!</p>
<p>Keep up the good fight, Dr. Laura and remember you do make a difference!!!<br />Thank you for all you do to make us better parents and as a result, make our children better people, and this world a better place.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Jodi</p>
Staff
2011-10-18T07:00:00Z
Lesson From Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lesson-From-Dad/759002226731977751.html
2011-10-17T07:00:00Z
2011-10-17T07:00:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Here's a little inspiration for all the divorced/single parents not dating -- courtesy of my dad.</p>
<p>Dad was a single parent. He and Mom divorced when I was 14 and I went to live with him. Somehow I knew I needed his discipline.</p>
<p>It was during this time my circle of girlfriends was becoming involved in the sex, drug and rock n roll lifestyle. I was scared, but the lifestyle was attractive and fun. And, I was influenced. One evening, my friend and I were going to visit her boyfriend. I knew he was a drug dealer. She waited out in her car while I ran inside to get my things.</p>
<p>There was Dad, watching a basketball game. I sat with him. "Dad?" I said, "My friend is waiting outside for me and…I don't want to go with her."</p>
<p>I was 16 years old. Torn apart by a broken family and not knowing how to cut ties with the only female emotional support I had. It was a pivotal moment in my life. And Dad, my hero, gave me an excuse. I bowed out gently with my friend and went up to my room to ponder and read.</p>
<p>He saved my life that day simply because he was at home, watching a basketball game instead of out dating women.</p>
<p>Five years. Five years Dad spent without a woman. And, I know for sure it was not easy for him. One day while I was doing laundry, I found a folded piece of paper. I opened it and read the words. It was Dad's handwriting…in pencil. It was a personal prayer, a Psalm of loneliness. And, it touched me very deeply. I folded it back and put it in his shirt pocket…never to mention a word. Dad was lonely, but, he never let me see that. That was between him and God.</p>
<p>This man is a hero. He gave of himself completely. Little did he know, he saved his grandchildren's lives, too, for, I did the same thing for my children when their dad went away. For twelve years I channeled my Dad's firm standing, yet, quiet care.</p>
<p>He married a few months after me. A real sweet woman, I am thankful to her. Just between me and God.</p>
<p>It's not easy to be 'alone' raising children. Dad showed me why. He showed me how. <br />He's an inspiration.</p>
<p>Lisa</p>
Staff
2011-10-17T07:00:00Z
Pain Med Addiction Hurts Others
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Pain-Med-Addiction-Hurts-Others/597344000150113911.html
2011-10-14T22:00:00Z
2011-10-14T22:00:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I love listening to your show and consider it a treat when I'm taking a long drive while you are on. Recently, I was enjoying your program when a caller, Kelly, came on the air. She was talking about her husband who was addicted to prescription pain medications and needed advice. You told her to leave him and go home to her mother. A flood of emotions hit me.</p>
<p>The reason I was in the car that day was because I was traveling to see a doctor to begin a painful process of having scars removed from my face. The irony here is that day was also my youngest son's birthday. However, instead of running to the school with a box of cupcakes for his classmates, I was driving to another doctor's appointment. You see, back in March, while on vacation, my family was hit head-on by a man addicted to prescription pain meds. He killed himself, my husband and my youngest boy. This was his third car accident while driving under the influence.</p>
<p>The accident left me and my oldest son, 13, burned over 50% of our bodies. We were in separate hospitals for three months. We will endure a lifetime of painful procedures, scarred bodies and emptiness. Our lives are forever changed by the consequences of that man's actions.</p>
<p>My youngest son (who was killed in the accident) was only 10. I only got 10 birthdays, 10 Christmases, 10 First Days of School with him. It was not enough. My husband was a fantastic husband, loving father, and amazing man.</p>
<p>I would love it if you would spend a few minutes on air talking about the dangers of prescription drug addiction. This accident could have been prevented if this man would have chosen to get clean and be in rehab. People think the medications they receive from their doctor are safe. They often do not read the warning labels. It is my opinion in our litigious society, where there are silly warnings on everything, we don't pay attention to the warnings which do matter.</p>
<p>In my mind, this man was a murderer. It was so sad, however, to look at the picture his family put with his obituary. He looked like a great guy. The picture the newspaper ran after the accident was a mug shot from when he was arrested for driving under the influence. What a horrible, ugly man he became under the influence. I was told the night he got into that first accident, he had upwards of 11 different bottles of pain medications in the car with him. These were all legally prescribed and in his name.</p>
<p>People addicted to prescription pain medications should be in rehab. They should be treated just like someone who is addicted to crack, cocaine or alcohol. They need professional interventions. Your love alone won't make an addict "clean," but you can point them in the direction of professional help.</p>
<p>This has become my personal crusade. I want to make sure my son and husband did not die in vain.</p>
<p>Thank you for all that you do, Dr. Laura.</p>
<p>I was my husband's girlfriend and I am my kids' mom.</p>
<p>Leslie</p>
Staff
2011-10-14T22:00:00Z
My 4 Year Old Even Gets It
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-4-Year-Old-Even-Gets-It/634629348467283782.html
2011-10-13T19:00:00Z
2011-10-13T19:00:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>While having lunch with my 4 year old daughter, we were listening to your “call of the day,” about a lady living with her boyfriend and basically being his nanny, with no promise of marriage. My daughter asked me very seriously "why doesn't this lady want a prince?" She continued telling me that since I married “Daddy,” I was living happily ever after and only after you are married can you have 2 little princesses!</p>
<p>I just wanted to take a moment to share and tell you thank you! Only by listening to you, was I able to make the best decision and be a stay at home mom! Now I am happily running after a 1 year old and 4 year old every day (and not just a couple hours after work)!</p>
<p>Take care always,</p>
<p>Kelly</p>
Staff
2011-10-13T19:00:00Z
I Found PEACE by Taking On Another Task
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Found-PEACE-by-Taking-On-Another-Task/483213364082304421.html
2011-10-12T20:30:00Z
2011-10-12T20:30:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura:</p>
<p><em>The following are the last 4 paragraphs of my journal entry:</em></p>
<p>PEACE in Homeschool?</p>
<p>Okay... here I went! We all raced to the teacher resource store, office store, bookshelf store. We went to the school for a meeting with the teacher and principal, and to the library for curriculum and supplies. I am THRILLED and so HAPPY this is my path. It feels so RIGHT. It took a lot of thought, sweat, sleepless nights, phone calls, research, discussions, praying and divine intervention until we made the choice to begin this homeschool journey.</p>
<p>Only 2 days into this journey I had an epiphany. I asked my six-year old, "So, after doing homeschool for a couple of days what do you like better: your old school or homeschool?" Without hesitating, she responded, "I like homeschool because I was tired of you rushing me around ALL the time." My heart stopped. I was living the 'hurry-up' lifestyle. I mean hurry up and eat breakfast, hurry up and go potty, hurry up and get dressed, hurry up and get your stuff, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up. I hurried my six-year old to school and hurried her younger sisters up and out the door in the morning AND afternoon. I had to hurry up and interrupt naps, play dates, games, reading time, snuggle time, and just plain quality time to carpool my kid to this institution I really had “rough” feelings about.</p>
<p>As though I had been hit with a brick in the face, I realized I said “hurry” more times a day than I can count and LIVED it like a life philosophy. Let me tell you it is no way to LIVE. It is not the impression, the home, or the lifestyle I want for me, my husband, my home, or my children. I am now on the 12-step program for weaning myself off the word and the life of HURRY.</p>
<p>I immediately began telling everyone homeschooling was the greatest decision ever! I began using the word PEACE. I told my friends, my sister, everyone I finally had PEACE in my daily life I didn't know existed. I had peace in my thoughts, in my prayers, in my marriage, in my relationships with my kids, in my home. My mom went on vacation for a week only a few days after I started teaching at home. She came back and you never guess what she said, "Deanna you look more at peace!" I thought she was joking and had talked to my sister. No, she just came up with that on her own. Who knew taking on one more task would bring my such PEACE in my heart.</p>
<p>Dr. Laura, some of us require more nagging than others. Thanks for never giving up on us. You have worked in my brain for years on many important, core issues. ....simply,... thank.... you....</p>
<p>Deanna</p>
Staff
2011-10-12T20:30:00Z
The Strength to Leave
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Strength-to-Leave/320221283953842787.html
2011-10-11T08:00:00Z
2011-10-11T08:00:00Z
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">This is in line with the author of the recent email about the <a href="/b/Living-With-an-Alcoholic/-104001380719242114.html">alcoholic father</a>. </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">I raised my kids in a home with a man, who for 17 years kept us in fear. He wouldn't allow me to have any friends at all, nor even go with my mom to lunch for fear I would tell someone about our lives. </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Everything we did had to be all about him. NO matter how much praise and love we heaped on him, his needs were never met in his mind and so we always lived in fear. Once I had to leave with the kids at 5am for a soccer game 2 hours away. I usually made sandwiches, but it was so early I did not. He was checking every 30 minutes the ATM balance online and noticed I had bought sandwiches at Safeway. He yelled and screamed at me on the phone, and then at the kids when we got home. </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">The kids when they were 15 and 10 came to me and begged me to leave. I was scared, believed in marriage, and did not want to leave. If I didn't leave, they said they were going to leave without me. I finally found the courage to do so, and friends and family helped us flee with just our clothes. </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">The kids would not let me attend mediation, as they wanted nothing to do with their father. They told me not to make any visitation deals on their behalf, so the court appointed them an attorney. After numerous evaluations by psychiatric professionals, counselors, and CPS, the children's attorney and all those involved agreed not to push the kids to see their father. I never said anything, except supported the children in what they wanted. I strongly disagreed with the CA standard that in all cases, dads (or moms) should be involved even if they are mentally and physically hurtful to the children. </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">My children are happy to this day, have straight A's and are surrounded by positive influences. </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">I am glad I listened to my heart to leave, and strong enough fight for them in court. Both they know and I know, if they had to spend half the time with their dysfunctional abusive father, they would have been psychologically fragile and turned to drugs, bad friends, etc. They are self-confident and loving after four years away from him. I think fathers are important in a child's life. However, there are those cases where kids need a stable home life more than the negative influence in their lives. I am glad I prayed and had the strength to not follow the CA courts. After all I had raised my children. I think I knew them better than a law or a cookie cutter courtroom approach. </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">God Bless, </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span></p>
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;">Nancy</span>
Staff
2011-10-11T08:00:00Z
Dead Beat Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dead-Beat-Dad/905032658434012102.html
2011-10-10T21:16:00Z
2011-10-10T21:16:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am what I call a "Dead Beat Dad."</p>
<p>Let me explain.</p>
<p>After my wife filed for a divorce I felt dead inside.</p>
<p>She then used the kids to beat me down, but I will always be my kids' Dad.</p>
<p>I called your show a while back. My wife left (with the kids) due to her not being able to "see the neighbor guy as friends". After I decided to stand up for myself and said it was wrong, she then used the kids to get her way in the court.<br /> <br />To this day she still uses the kids, and the courts do not want to help.</p>
<p>She got what she wanted and after 2 years still seems to be mad or upset. I do not get people like this. I am sad to say after the two years, I am glad I am not married to her and the time with my children is happy and positive. We have our issues but rules are to help and they do not get their way or are spoiled. I am my kids' Dad and the time I have with them I focus on having quality time.</p>
<p>My ex wife can act like a highschooler trying to put people down and trying to get her way. I just pray she realizes what she is doing to the children.<br /> <br />I can not say this as well as you. You have given men a voice again. I pray someday what God has Created will be cherished by all. We have lost that.</p>
<p>P.</p>
Staff
2011-10-10T21:16:00Z
Building Up to Military Pushups
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Building-Up-to-Military-Pushups/-119260786570587494.html
2011-10-07T21:16:00Z
2011-10-07T21:16:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Imagine if you were a severely out-of-shape, overweight woman and your first exercise was trying to bench press 200 or more pounds. You could barely lift it a few inches up and down, if at all. The exercise would put tremendous pressure on your shoulder, elbow and wrist joints. It would be so hard that the correct muscles wouldn't even be firing.</p>
<p>This is probably what happens when your average listener tries to do a military pushup. I would like to suggest a better way! I am a personal trainer and Dr. Laura fan. I admire the way you maintain such excellent shape and inspire your listeners to take responsibility for their weight.</p>
<p>There is an easy way that more of your listeners can join in your pushup challenge, without joint problems.</p>
<p>The most severely out of shape should do a military pushup against the wall. You are correct: the body should be straight and the chest should be lowered all the way. You should engage your chest muscles as you push away. The next level would be a perfect military pushup off your kitchen counter. Next, the couch. You would gradually work your way to lower and lower surfaces until you were on the floor! This is the equivalent of slowly using heavier and heavier weights with proper form.</p>
<p>Please please share this with your listeners. Then pushups will be accessible to everyone and no one's shoulders or elbows will be strained.</p>
<p>Harmony</p>
Staff
2011-10-07T21:16:00Z
Our Drug Seeking Nation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-Drug-Seeking-Nation/781601840137627326.html
2011-10-06T22:04:00Z
2011-10-06T22:04:00Z
<p>From alcohol, to prescription, to recreational, it seems our favorite past time as a nation has became drug use. Now our children are becoming victims of our ignorance and lazy life styles.</p>
<p>EXAMPLE: A young boy is running through the house and a mother exclaims, "Sit down!!, What's wrong with you!? You need to just sit down and stay still for five minutes." Five minutes pass and he's up and running again.... Fast forward to a doctor's appointment. The solution for this situation is Ritalin daily upon waking up. The child becomes docile and Mom finally peace in the home again.... Sadly this isn't a fairy tale and no Prince Charming is going to rescue the lad.</p>
<p>To list the drugs used for our recreation or stress release would be a waste of typing because sadly enough most drugs used by adults are now every day language. Being a personal trainer and author of the blended family book, Step Generation, I see one main drug that isn't incorporated often enough but is regularly sought with drugs and that is simply endorphins which are attainable by getting off your butt and moving. Children are easily managed if made priority one and taken to the park or enrolled in an energy releasing past time. Most of our depression and other ailments would be cut in half if people would simply get off their ever expanding butts and start moving moving... oh moving!!!!</p>
<p>David</p>
Staff
2011-10-06T22:04:00Z
Not Perfect Bodies of Wives in Lingerie
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Not-Perfect-Bodies-of-Wives-in-Lingerie/738416233458646072.html
2011-10-05T21:00:00Z
2011-10-05T21:00:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I heard you talk about the fat lady who got the largest size lingerie she could find, and even though it was still too tight, her husband went wild.</p>
<p>I then told my husband I was going to get a “slutty bra” the next day.</p>
<p>He was in the middle of playing his guitar and (so I thought) furiously studying his notes when he looked at me, stopped playing, put down his guitar and said:</p>
<p> "I will be happy to take it off you."</p>
<p>After 33 years of marriage, he is still highly susceptible!<br /><br />Donna</p>
Staff
2011-10-05T21:00:00Z
Bedtime Reading and Child Rearing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bedtime-Reading-and-Child-Rearing/-526475237718427403.html
2011-10-04T22:45:00Z
2011-10-04T22:45:00Z
<p>Dr Laura,<br /><br />I agree with the tone of your advice about raising children. I have two "old" kids now (24 and 27) and I wanted to add one thing that worked for us: reading to them daily before they went to bed.<br /><br />My wife or I read to our kids every day when they were toddlers up until they left grade school, and this paid great dividends. It also provided a natural mechanism for discipline, because it helped us develop a strong emotional relationship with them that was rebuilt every night. We could have tough days battling our kids the way all parents do, but each night we would have to like each other enough to read. It also gave us a chance to respond to our kids as people rather than as parents: if the kids' behavior was really bad, we could say "I don't like you much right now and don't feel like reading to you." This simple mechanism seemed to be the key for solving discipline problems: build an emotional relationship that you can use to share the later to kindly enforce a personal kind of discipline. <br /><br />So pick up the Trilogy books and start reading tonight.<br /><br />Tim</p>
Staff
2011-10-04T22:45:00Z
Why Are You Always Rejecting Me?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Are-You-Always-Rejecting-Me/245930059532481308.html
2011-10-03T22:02:00Z
2011-10-03T22:02:00Z
<p>"I'm tired." "I'm exhausted" "I need to tuck our daughter into bed" "I need to change the baby's diaper" "I need some alone time" "How about tomorrow?" "Maybe we can sneak it in during nap time" "Maybe". For too many weeks now, these have been my reasons, no wait, excuses, for not wanting to make love with my husband.</p>
<p>All that changed tonight after our daughter finally fell asleep in her own bedroom, and our three-month-old son fell asleep in his crib. And, I want to shout out to the entire world, especially all of those wives who think sex is the least important part of their marriage...My husband and I finally made AWESOME LOVE tonight. As you put it, Dr. Laura, a good orgasm really makes you feel better. And, if you really try, you can get yourself "in the mood".</p>
<p>The turning point for me was last night. My husband made some advances, I turned him down, and he said "Why are you always rejecting me?" Oh no. He sounded like the husbands who have been writing to you, explaining how frustrated they are at the lack of intimacy in their marriages. I did not want him to become one of those men writing to you.</p>
<p>So, I took your motherly advice. I properly cared for my husband. After just one night of intimacy, I feel so much closer to him. I feel young again, and rejuvenated, despite the sleep deprivation of new motherhood and raising an active toddler. I feel ready to be a better wife and happier SAHM. Worries and stresses that were bothering me only hours ago, are now deep in the back of my mind, if not out of my mind altogether. I feel relaxed, less tense, even optimistic about some other issues going on in our lives.</p>
<p>All of these good feelings came about just by letting go and sharing what is so special between a husband and a wife.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Jennifer</p>
Staff
2011-10-03T22:02:00Z
If I Had A Magic Wand...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/If-I-Had-A-Magic-Wand.../45270848037514129.html
2011-09-29T20:26:00Z
2011-09-29T20:26:00Z
<p><strong>If I Had A Magic Wand...</strong></p>
<p>I'd go back in time and have a re-do of some of the mistakes I had made.</p>
<p>I would have been involved in sports, instead of guys.</p>
<p>I would have made guys work for it, not given it away freely.</p>
<p>I would have gone to college, heck those four years flew by anyway but I have nothing to show for it.</p>
<p>When a guy said he loved me I would have watched his actions, rather than listen to his words.</p>
<p>If three or more people warned me a guy was not good for me, I would have listened. God has a way of getting our attention and usually it is through others (since he does not actually appear in the flesh to say WAKE UP - WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!!)</p>
<p>I would have thought of myself as precious china, saving myself for marriage and the right man as opposed to a throw away paper plate, which is how I was treated because I did not value myself enough.</p>
<p>I would have spent more time in the gym and less time on my back.</p>
<p>I would have spent more time outdoors rather than in a bar drinking.</p>
<p>I would have enjoyed being a child and stop trying so hard to be an adult before I actually was an adult (once innocence is gone, it's gone).</p>
<p>I would have stopped thinking my biological clock was ticking and I had to hurry up and get married.</p>
<p>I would have spent my time making sure I was the kind of woman who could attract an amazing honest, hardworking man, instead of marrying the one who was asking and in a hurry to get married. (There was a reason he was in a hurry, once I found out who he really was, I was already married with a baby.)</p>
<p>I would listen to the still small voice that would warn me when I was going in the wrong direction and then I would actually change directions.</p>
<p>I would have never talked on the telephone while my child was awake.</p>
<p>I would have never rushed my child to bed so I could relax and unwind.</p>
<p>I would have never dated after the divorce. I would have given 100% of me all the time to my child.</p>
<p>I would have never brought men into my home trying to re-create a family I thought my child needed.</p>
<p>When I felt lonely I would make a gratitude list, call a friend in need and be there for them, take a bath, read a book, hug my child again and again.</p>
<p>I would never take out the stress of the day or the fear of financial insecurity by yelling.</p>
<p>I would only build my child up, I would not yell or curse or punish. I'd just love and laugh and play.</p>
<p>I would not worry so much about what others think.</p>
<p>I'd answer every single "Mommy what's this", "Mommy what's that", "Mommy what's this", "Mommy how come this" asked of me. If I did not know the answer I'd make it an adventure to find the answer together.</p>
<p>Regret keeps me awake at night. You can never get a re-do. You can only pass along what you know for sure to be the wrong way to do it and hope and pray that others listen and avoid the pain if they can.<br /><br />Beverlie</p>
Staff
2011-09-29T20:26:00Z
What a Loving Husband Sees!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-a-Loving-Husband-Sees!/494217091608289849.html
2011-09-28T20:00:00Z
2011-09-28T20:00:00Z
Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I've been benefiting from your wisdom for a number of years. Until now I've never been tempted to call or write you but I feel I may have some insight into a recurring theme among your female callers. That subject is women's seemingly endless insecurity about their appearance. <br /><br />Having been married to a beautiful woman for almost 30 years I feel I can offer a male perspective regarding this issue and possibly reassure my own beautiful female at the same time. Yep, she has these same insecurities.<br /><br />I would like to share with you and your listeners what I see when I look at my partner of 30 years. I am sure most of the good husbands out there are going to agree with me so I will speak for all of us. We see our wives through special lenses. We don't merely see who you are now. We see everything you've been and done from the very first time we laid eyes on you. Your bodies are a history lesson, our history together, and not a single part of you is anything but cherished.<br /><br />When we look at you, we still see that new girl sitting across from us in homeroom, looking like an angel and chewing on a pencil. We see the young bride looking up into our eyes with total love and trust. We see the brand new mother, aglow with joy, holding out our child to us for the first time. We see the perfect Mom making our bleeding child's world perfect again with a GI Joe Bandaid, a soft touch and a smile. <br /><br />Where you see ugly wrinkles gathering about your mouth, we see every magnificent smile that helped to etch those lines into your beautiful face especially the smiles that we put there.<br /><br />When you get depressed over a few extra ounces showing up in that evil mirror and swear off desserts for all time, we're remembering the Anniversary when the two of us discovered together that whipped cream doesn't just go well on Ice Cream Sundaes!<br /><br />While you fret over every new gray hair, we see every sunset reflecting off of that same hair.<br /><br />I'm sure, Dr Laura, you will agree the brain controls what we see just as it controls our emotions. If our wives believe we love them, and love comes from our brain, what do you think our brain is showing us when we look at them through our loving eyes?<br /><br />Ladies, the point is this. All of my fellow loving husbands and I may never fully understand where your insecurities come from, but please know that to us, you have always been and will always be, the most beautiful women in the world.<br /><br />Dr. Laura, thank you for giving me a forum to express how deeply most men feel about the women they commit their lives to. Many of my friends are not able to articulate their feelings verbally. As you often say, men tend to show their love through actions. That does not mean we don't feel as deeply as our partners. Even if this doesn't get read on the air it's great to be able to share my perspective with you.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Carl <br />A Loving Husband and My Kid's Dad
Staff
2011-09-28T20:00:00Z
No Medical Access for My 12 Year Old Daughter
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-Medical-Access-for-My-12-Year-Old-Daughter/-40132114351363323.html
2011-09-27T20:00:00Z
2011-09-27T20:00:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura -</p>
<p>In the past I've been able to make medical appointments, email doctors, and receive lab results online (called proxy access) through our medical provider for myself, my husband, and our 3 children. Our oldest daughter just turned 12 last week and today I discovered I am no longer allowed access online to manage her healthcare. I also cannot view any medical files unless I put in special written requests at offices where she's been treated. I'm mad and outraged. The medical provider's webpage specifically states the following:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Q. Can proxy access be used for children between 12 and 17 years of age?</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">A: Unfortunately, due to complex state and federal regulations Proxy Access is not available for children between 12 and 17 years old. Exceptions may be made on a case by case basis. Please discuss your specific situation with your child's clinician.</p>
<p>I have access to my 8 and 10 year old medical information, and my husband's medical information (with his permission, of course, but not my 12 year old?? What is wrong with this state (I live in CA) and country??</p>
<p>Pam</p>
Staff
2011-09-27T20:00:00Z
10 Things You Should Never Say to the Wife of a Deployed Sailor
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/10-Things-You-Should-Never-Say-to-the-Wife-of-a-Deployed-Sailor/10110.html
2011-09-26T07:00:00Z
2011-09-26T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dear Dr. Schlessinger,<br />
<br />
I know you're a big supporter of the military, so I thought you might enjoy this. I'm a proud warrior's wife. My husband has been in the Navy for 18 years. I've been with him for 10+ years, and of those, we've been apart for 6+ years. Over the years, I have had lots of stupid comments from non-military people. I saw a blog with a list of things you should never say to the wife of a deployed soldier. After reading that blog, I felt compelled to make my own list. I'm a sarcastic person, so this is a bit tongue in cheek. I know sometimes it's hard for that to come across in the written word, so I hope you get me. <br />
<br />
10.<em> "At least he's on a ship and not on the ground."</em> Yeah, you're right. Thanks for pointing that out. Ships are completely safe no one ever dies or gets seriously injured on a ship. It's not like they're a big target, floating around on the water for everyone to see. Terrorists have never floated up in a boat and blown a hole through the side of a ship. Ships have never had the guns of the Iranian military fixed and locked on them as they travel through the Straits of Hormuz. People never lose life and limb on a ship, and they're certainly not the target of terrorist attacks when they're on foreign soil during the 2 days they let them off the boat. <br />
<br />
9. <em>"At least you don't have kids." </em>Oh yeah, you're right. It's much easier to go home to a completely empty house at night with no one to hug your neck and kiss you goodnight.<br />
<br />
8. <em>"Well, at least you have your family while he's gone."</em> Really? The last time I checked, my closest family member was 2,000 miles away. Let me jump on my private jet and fly right over to have dinner with my mom.<br />
<br />
7. <em>"How much longer until he can get out?"</em> Well, he's not getting out until he's ready. He's staying in until he retires. Usually when I tell people that, I get a look of pity, as if that's a fate worse than death.<br />
<br />
6. <em>"...but you get really good benefits."</em> Oh yeah, let me drop to my knees and thank Uncle Sam for my amazing benefits. First of all, my husband is on duty 24/7, unlike most people who work 40 hours a week. He can't make plans to go away for a weekend unless he uses his leave. So, for his salary that amounts to under $7 an hour, here's what we get: Let's see, my health insurance is taken care of at no cost as long as I go to a military hospital. Have you ever been to a military hospital? And let's not forget, I can shop at the NEX and commissary where I get about 1/4 of the selection I would get at regular stores for about 2% of a cost. News flash: Navy families still have to shop at regular stores.<br />
<br />
5. <em>"Are you afraid something will happen to him?"</em> No, I never thought about it until just now. Of course I think about it, every single day.<br />
<br />
4. <em>"At least you get to talk to him."</em> Well, yes, I do. When the email is working, he can email me. When he's in port, he can call me. So, on the average 7 mo. deployment, he gets to call me a whopping 5 times. Yay me!<br />
<br />
3. <em>"I wish my husband would get sent away for a while."</em> Then you must not have what we have. Every moment we're apart, it physically hurts. He's my best friend, my lover and my hero, and saying goodbye NEVER gets any easier.<br />
<br />
2. <em>"At least you keep yourself busy. He'll be back before you know it."</em> No, he won't be back before I know it. No matter how much I throw myself into my job, I still go home and cry every night when I lie down to go to sleep in an empty bed.<br />
<br />
And the all time dumbest thing that's ever been said to me is:<br />
<br />
1. <em>"My boyfriend is in Japan for two weeks for work. I know exactly how you feel."</em> WHAT? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Yes sweetie, that's exactly the same. Your man was forced to fly business class to Japan, and he's having to suffer at a 4-star hotel. He has wireless internet access which the two of you use to video chat while you're at work, sitting 10 feet away from me. My husband flew on an Air Force cargo plane, sitting in a cargo net suspended from the wall of the inside of the plane. It's not pressurized so he had to wear 5 layers of clothing to prevent hypothermia. He had to wear industrial ear muffs to protect his ears from damage because of the noise. Once he caught another plane in Europe, he had to land on the deck of an aircraft carrier, where two of his plane's tires blew upon landing because the ship was in such rough water the movement of the deck literally popped the tires. Once he arrives at the Hotel Haze Gray, he's met with luxurious accommodations such as a 2 in. thick mattress in a 7'x3' bunk, showering with 20 of his closest friends, and a tiny little locker to keep all his worldly belongings in. Your man gets to eat at business dinners, and gets wined and dined after 5 when business is over for the day. My husband works 16 hours a day, 7 days a week. He eats what he's given. There's no room service menu to order from. He can either have chicken or beef, and that's it. Oh, and by the way, while you're over there at your desk video chatting with your live-in boyfriend, it's been over a month since I've gotten so much as an email or letter, because my husband is in a war zone. Yes, you're right, you must know exactly what my husband and I are going through. Thanks, I feel a lot better now.<br />
<br />
Again, I'm a proud warrior's wife and am very happy to be married to him.<br />
<br />
Thanks for your time Dr. Schlessinger! You keep me company every night on my long commute from law school, and for that I thank you.<br />
<br />
C.</p>
Staff
2011-09-26T07:00:00Z
In-Home Counselor
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/In-Home-Counselor/10107.html
2011-09-23T07:00:00Z
2011-09-23T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Just wanted to send you big thanks for the counseling you have done in our home during the past dozen years. My husband (boyfriend at the time) turned me on to you when we started dating. I grew up in a gentle home, and you came across very harsh initially. In the beginning, I literally had to change the channel whenever you became passionate! But I always went back. The love and protectiveness you have in your huge heart for kids shined through in every call. I adore you for that, and try to emulate it as best I can.<br />
<br />
My husband (of 9 years) and I have used your wisdom and never to be humble opinion to get us through many disagreements. "Dr. Laura would say...." comes out of both our mouths, and that's the end of it. Our last conflict was about my husband's drinking. He had become a pretty good alcoholic over the past 4 years. Reminding him that Dr. Laura says addiction is a valid justification for separation didn't convince him to stop, and I was torn. We have 3 small boys, and I was afraid to threaten him with leaving because what if he chose the alcohol? I loved him sober, but that became very rare and I didn't want my boys to grow up with a drunk. After hearing a Call of the Day regarding a woman in a situation very similar to mine, and you scolded her, and told her to kick him out that day, it gave me the support I needed. I finally told him I'd had enough. And after some kicking and screaming on his part, he chose us. He chose us! I have fallen in love with him again, and I'm so happy for my boys to have a loving, SOBER, dad in the home. This is the happiest I've been in our entire marriage, I believe.<br />
<br />
Thank you, Dr. Laura, and keep it up. You help so many more people than just the ones that call in.<br />
<br />
M.</p>
Staff
2011-09-23T07:00:00Z
Learning My Importance in the Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-My-Importance-in-the-Family/10104.html
2011-09-22T07:00:00Z
2011-09-22T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dr. Laura, <br />
<br />
I just wanted to thank you again (and again!) for writing The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands. This book was first suggested to me by my husband after he heard an interview with you on Focus on the Family. <br />
<br />
We had reached a crossroads in our relationship and I wasn't sure whether we were going to make it. He asked me to read it, and I thought "Sure. Kick me when I'm down. I already know I've blown it." Then he said, "If you want to... I think you will see how important you are in our family." So, I read it. And, THANK YOU are the only words to express. <br />
<br />
Seven years later, we are still together, and our marriage is the most honest it has ever been; stronger than I ever thought possible. I re-read it this summer, just to remember how sweet it is; how good it can be. Thank you for shooting straight from the belt. Thank you for seeing the value men and women have to each other in a family. Thank you for dispelling the lies and encouraging the truth. I really needed to know I have a significant role to play in the lives of my husband and children. <br />
<br />
T.</p>
Staff
2011-09-22T07:00:00Z
Hospice Care Eligibility
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hospice-Care-Eligibility/10101.html
2011-09-21T07:00:00Z
2011-09-21T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
I have heard several callers in a dilemma about waiting for hospice care due to the 6 month prognosis requirement. As a past marketer for a wonderful hospice, I spent much time clarifying this requirement for many patients who were both torn about admitting their need and/or desperate for help, but concerned that it was too soon. As with most benefits, the 6 month stipulation is more a suggestion than a requirement as no one on this earth has a certainty about our time of death. We have had patients with us as long as two years. <br />
<br />
Many details set aside, two basic guidelines within the 6 month rule is 1) the patient is not seeking aggressive or curative care (for example not receiving chemotherapy) and 2) the patient has shown a decline (i.e. Weight loss, less and less able to perform functions of daily living) . Many people misunderstand hospice is not a place you go to, but a service. You only go somewhere for either up to 5 days for respite (a rest for family caretakers), an emergency, or if 24 hour care or more than supportive care is needed. AND those living in assisted living facilities CAN also receive hospice care! <br />
<br />
The most common comment I heard from families was how wonderful hospice was for them and they only wish they had not waited so long to call. I agree with you hospice can be a wonderful asset for families at this time of life and allow for children, spouses and siblings to more simply reflect and enjoy the end stages of life together rather than simply becoming caretakers in a possibly increasing and overwhelming role.<br />
<br />
Thank you for the clarity and support you give to all of us listeners every day. Who knew things could be so simple (I didn't say necessarily easy).<br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
<br />
Cathy</p>
Staff
2011-09-21T07:00:00Z
Should I Stay in My Marriage to an Alcoholic?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Should-I-Stay-in-My-Marriage-to-an-Alcoholic/10098.html
2011-09-20T07:00:00Z
2011-09-20T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
I stumbled across your call of the day for Friday 9.16.11 - "Should Renee stay in her marriage to an alcoholic?" I sat and cried as I listened to it - I found myself in a similar situation... I married an active alcoholic who hid this from me until the ink on the marriage license was dry. Then the facade broke down and all holy hell broke loose. <br />
<br />
We are now divorcing, but not after trying "recovery" and going to great lengths to be patient and compassionate. Listening to your words hit home - I am embarrassed. I did make a mistake. And I have felt BAD for dragging my feet to rectify that mistake, because I promised "for better or for worse". I let myself be treated poorly in front of my teenage daughters by a man who lied to me to get me to marry him. <br />
<br />
Yesterday the papers were filed - in part because of your words. It is ok to be fooled, to be conned once in a while. It doesn't make me a "bad" or "stupid" person. It makes me human. And now I have learned what alcoholism looks like and the red flags to watch closely for. I am taking my self worth and dignity and my lessons learned and moving forward to finally rectify my mistake.<br />
<br />
Thank you for being you!<br />
<br />
S.</p>
Staff
2011-09-20T07:00:00Z
So What DO I Do All Day?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/So-What-DO-I-Do-All-Day/10096.html
2011-09-19T07:00:00Z
2011-09-19T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dr. Laura, <br />
<br />
We had just moved to a new town and had gotten acquainted with a couple whom I thought we would befriend. We seemed to have things in common and to be like-minded. The man and his wife were our age and had two children one of whom was the same age as our daughter. They were preparing to go out of town and the wife was trying to get many things done so they could leave. <br />
<br />
From casual conversations with the wife, I had discerned the husband did not agree with her staying home. The wife had worked full-time and dumped the older child in day care but was currently at home with the younger one. I offered to fix dinner for the family so the wife would have one less thing to do.<br />
<br />
What a dinner it turned out to be! The couple arrived late and I could tell things were tense between them. We ate, the kids played, and all was going well, when the husband looked at me (a stay-at-home i.e. a real mother) and said, "So, what do you DO all day anyway?!" He then looked at my husband and said, "What does she DO all day?" <br />
<br />
My normally talkative husband was silent. To ease the tension, I said to my hubby: "Careful how you answer that. Remember, you sleep with me!" We laughed, but I quickly wrapped up the conversation and sent our new found "friends" out the door. <br />
<br />
After they left, I said to my husband, "Why didn't you answer when he said that?" To which he said, "I was so angry, I couldn't reply. I wanted to pick him up and throw him out the door!" <br />
<br />
The next day, and for many days after, I kept a list of all I DO during the day. It is truly amazing! Since that day, I have encouraged other moms to make a list of what they do during their day. I've only had one mom make a list and then decide to dump her children in day care. She decided her day was not worthwhile. Now, she sits at a counter at a store that sells kitchen supplies. But, the other moms have been amazed at what they accomplish. The greatest of their accomplishments is this: each woman provides a loving, calm atmosphere for her husband and children. This, of course, is priceless!<br />
<br />
B.</p>
Staff
2011-09-19T07:00:00Z
Paraprosdokian Sentences
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Paraprosdokian-Sentences/10090.html
2011-09-15T07:00:00Z
2011-09-15T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Hi Dr. Schlessinger, <br />
<br />
I thought you might enjoy these.<br />
<br />
Lt Col Cary C., Retired<br />
<br />
<br />
A paraprosdokian sentence consists of two parts where the first is a figure of speech and the second an intriguing variation of the first.. They're used typically for humorous or dramatic effect. <br />
<br />
</p>
<ul>
<li>Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.</li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li>The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. </li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li>If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong. </li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li>We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. </li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li>Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. </li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li>The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. </li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li>How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire. </li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li>Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand at the edge of a pool and throw fish. </li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li>I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. </li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li>Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they're sexy. </li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li>A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. </li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li>You don't need a parachute to skydive, but you do need one to skydive again. </li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li>The voices in my head may be fake, but they have good ideas! </li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li>Hospitality is making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were. </li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li>I scream the same way whether I'm about to be eaten by a shark or seaweed touches my foot. </li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li>Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go. </li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li>There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away. </li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li>You're never too old t o learn something stupid. </li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li>Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.</li>
</ul>
<br />
<br />
Some additional <a href="http://www.englishforums.com/content/humour/paraprosdokians.htm" target="_blank" class="podcast-recommended-article">paraprosdokian sentences</a>.
Staff
2011-09-15T07:00:00Z
From a Husband's Perspective, It's Simple...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/From-a-Husbands-Perspective,-Its-Simple.../10087.html
2011-09-14T07:00:00Z
2011-09-14T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/blog.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />The referenced email is a nice letter: <a href="http://drlaura.com/Letters/FromListeners/tabid/280/entryid/10081/Our-Marriage-Needed-Feeding.aspx">Our Marriage Needed Feeding</a>. Thanks for sharing it. "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" is a great book, but it really is not necessary. From a husband's perspective it really is very simple: Listen, and respond. A guy will tell you what he needs if you give him permission. <br />
<br />
Most of my marriage I have had things bottled up inside of me which I needed to tell my wife (who HAS read the book) but I knew she would not listen. They are things she doesn't want to hear. Notice I said it is simple, not easy. <br />
<br />
I don't really need her to have coffee ready when I wake up. I don't care if she does my laundry - I was already quite willing and able to do it myself before we met. There is a long list of traditional wife duties I do not need from her. I only need two things from her: one is to teach and train our children proper values and habits, and the other is something I really cannot, or should not, be doing for myself (I'll leave it to the reader to understand what I am saying between the lines). My wife is pretty good on thing one, but not even trying on thing two. She talks a good game, but doesn't do anything about it. So I am blessed in at least she is pretty good about caring for our legacy, and I'll just have to deal with the other part.<br />
<br />
But don't get too wrapped up in all of the traditional wife stuff YOU think you should be doing for your husband. Just (PLEASE) learn to listen to him. He will let you know what is important to him.<br />
<br />
M.
Staff
2011-09-14T07:00:00Z
They Are All Wrong
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/They-Are-All-Wrong/10079.html
2011-09-12T07:00:00Z
2011-09-12T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
My husband and I made the decision back in March to leave the city we live in, and move out into the country near our hometown. Meanwhile, I have cut down to part-time hours at my job (a "day orphanage") and have been taking care of the home and my wonderful husband who works so very, very hard for me to be able to do this. <br />
<br />
The idea behind moving was to start a family of our own in a small town. My husband would be able to work from home and I would be able to raise my children. We were very excited about this transition and finally "starting" our life...until I was suddenly met with strong disapproval from just about everybody: my friends, my co-workers, and my family. I struggled for awhile as to why they would be so negative about such a wonderful start to our lives. I was very hurt and had second thoughts about everything. Women don't raise their kids anymore, why would I be able to think I can do it? I was even berated by my sister about not working and I thought for a moment "She's right. I don't work! How lazy is that?! You can't just NOT work!" <br />
<br />
Dr. Laura, as I'm sitting in my house in the city with boxes all around me, 3 weeks away from leaving, I know they are all wrong. Waiting until I'm ready to have children has been the right thing to do. My husband and I have been working hard for the last 5 years to put ourselves in a position for me not to work - the right thing to do. As for moving away, I know the small town we are going to is the right place to raise my children. I would follow my husband to Timbuktu if it meant I would be able to raise my children the right way (by me!) and be able to take care of my husband and treat him the way such an amazing man deserves to be treated. I attribute all these wonderful things that are about to happen in my life to you, Dr. Laura. Five years ago I was selfish, I thought my husband only wanted to control me and keep me under his thumb. I treated him horribly and he should have left me then. Not anymore. And I thank you for reminding me everyday what I'm doing may not be "what people do" anymore. But it's what I'll do. Because it's the right thing. Thank you.<br />
<br />
C.</p>
Staff
2011-09-12T07:00:00Z
Dirtier Dancing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dirtier-Dancing/10076.html
2011-09-09T07:00:00Z
2011-09-09T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
Last week I chaperoned my son's high school dance.<br />
<br />
I was told by the vice principal to split up any kids who were getting too close.<br />
<br />
Like any good father I went on to the dance floor to survey the activity. I was horrified to find out "dancing" really meant simulated sex for most of the seniors and juniors. The girls were bent over while the boys thrust from behind. They did this for 4 hours despite my every effort to split up couples.<br />
<br />
And where were the other chaperones? <br />
<br />
They were sitting on the side talking about the PTA and football games. <br />
<br />
Dr. Laura, I opted to place my son in this nationally ranked high school because it is in my district. Had I known 6 months ago simulated sex acts were common place and accepted behavior at this high school, I would have sold our home to pay for private school.<br />
<br />
My wife didn't believe me so I recorded a few seconds of the "dance" on video. Security and police officers were on me immediately. They ordered me to stop because "the kids were uncomfortable with being recorded". I remember what my parents used to tell me: "If you are doing something you wouldn't want the whole world to see, then you probably shouldn't be doing it."<br />
<br />
I hope more of your listeners will step up and do...THE RIGHT THING!<br />
<br />
Thanks for all you do.<br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
<br />
A. Nervous Father<br />
<br />
P.S. My wife saw the short video and was also appalled. I am tempted to put it on You Tube but I don't want the children (yes, 17 year old children) to have these images follow them forever.<br />
<br />
</p>
Staff
2011-09-09T07:00:00Z
Girls Accusing Boys of Rape
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Girls-Accusing-Boys-of-Rape/10072.html
2011-09-08T07:00:00Z
2011-09-08T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>I really wanted to comment on your FB question: "Do you know of any woman who falsely accused a guy of 'date rape' or some kind of sexual assault? What happened to the guy?" but this is too close to home and I did not want my name used. <br />
<br />
My son was accused of rape by a girl when he was in school. She and one of her friends went into a bedroom with him at a party on a Friday night. They both gave him oral sex (that was a pleasant conversation to have with my son in front of a lawyer), they then all left the bedroom. One of the girls walked him to his car with three of his friends and kissed him good night. Over the weekend, he started to receive texts from her and her friends letting him know her brother found out. She "joked" to my son she said she was raped. Well, at school during lunch, the brother attacked my son. My son's friends were there and the fight was stopped at one blind punch from the brother, who was screaming, "He raped my sister."<br />
<br />
My son was taken to the office and questioned by the police. The school had to act appropriately once this accusation was made. The girl was taken to the hospital and given a rape test.<br />
<br />
Long story short, my son was not arrested. He had saved all the texts from the girl and her friends and showed them to the police. Her rape test did show she had sperm present, however it was not from my son. The lawyer, we were forced to hire, told us from the start he see these types of cases dozens of times each year. Sad.<br />
<br />
I think the parents of this girl are scum for the following three reasons:<br />
<br />
1) If their daughter was truly raped by my son, they should have hunted my son to the ends of the earth and done everything in their power to prove it. Once it was proven she had had sex with another boy, but had also given oral sex to my son, the legal action was dropped by the police. The parents had no legal case, but they could have pursued other means if they felt their daughter was raped.<br />
<br />
2) If their daughter lied, they should have made her apologize in a public fashion equal to the accusation. I hold her brother blameless-he was lied to and loves his sister. The mother continues to claim her daughter was raped. The parents never changed their story, even after being confronted with the evidence.<br />
<br />
3) The daughter was given breast augmentation for graduation!!! REALLY!?!? For a "rape" survivor? I guess they did not think she was sexually attractive.<br />
<br />
I thank God my son had and still has great friends and they and their families stood up with us during that horrible time. Our family learned so much about the people in our community and who our true friends are. Our son behaved in a noble and honorable manner, never bad mouthing the girl, never calling her a slut, even in his initial interview with the police. To this day, he has had to face down people who still believe her story. Thank God, his actions have spoken more loudly than her words.</p>
Staff
2011-09-08T07:00:00Z
Finally We're Both On the Same Page
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finally-Were-Both-On-the-Same-Page/10068.html
2011-09-07T07:00:00Z
2011-09-07T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>I have been married for nearly four years - for the second time. <br />
<br />
In reading your books I have learned I was not a very good wife to my first husband and I was hell bent on wanting him to be all about me. I married the second time to a man who was strong, courageous, and take charge. Little did I know I would have to resign as the alpha of the household. For the first year we battled it out back and forth. Who had the more important career, who made the most money, and who got to make all of the decisions? Then something devastating, but what I now view as a blessing, happened. I lost my very well paying job while I was 5 months pregnant. <br />
<br />
I have never really had to live for other people then myself. It will sound ridiculous to some, but to find yourself in different shoes and suddenly without a nice title, nice office, and fat paycheck is a very scary and humbling thing. During this time of being pregnant and unemployed I was a tyrant. I did not enjoy my pregnancy or my "vacation". I spent all of my time in worry, with massive anger and anxiety. <br />
<br />
When our daughter was born and I was now in my 30's, something hit me like a ton of bricks. I was meant to be a mother and a wife. I got your books and although I had to contribute financially by working when she was only a few months old, I traded careers for something that was less stressful and allowed more time at home. After about a year of working and trying to keep it all together I made the decision to quit work in Jan 2010 and take my experience and skill set to work from home for myself and my family. I became a much better wife, my 10 year old son's grade improved drastically and for the first time EVER I actually enjoyed giving these gifts to my family and did not see them as a "chore". <br />
<br />
Although, I was doing my part, my spouse was not with me. He was still stuck in the old us and had carried so much emotional baggage in our marriage from his previous marriage. After a year and several long months of giving it all I had, I was exhausted. I decided I needed a backup plan. I went back to work fulltime but was blessed with an opportunity to work from home and the flexibility of being there for my kids. I made plans to divorce and was encouraged and supported in this decision by many friends and family members. When my spouse received the letter from my attorney, an interesting thing happened. My husband who had been cold and hateful to me for the past two years while I lovingly and dutifully served him and our family came back to get me. He is now a different person and I am right in sync with him taking your advice and honoring him and our children in every way possible. We are rebuilding our marriage and are committed to keeping our family together. <br />
<br />
A.</p>
Staff
2011-09-07T07:00:00Z
Bringing Home the Bacon
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bringing-Home-the-Bacon/10065.html
2011-09-06T07:00:00Z
2011-09-06T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
I am my three kids' stay-at-home mom. They are ages 13, 12, and 9. I wasn't always a stay-at-home mom. I used to think that a career was what I wanted. I married my high school sweetheart at the age of 18. He was 20 at the time and a United States Marine. Yes, we were young, but mature. That is not to say I didn't act stupid every now and again. I know you don't recommend young people getting married, neither do I, but we were meant to be. I couldn't have picked better, and I thank God every day for my knight in shining armor. <br />
<br />
I became pregnant after two years of marriage. I quit college and worked more to save up. My husband cautiously brought up me staying home with our son. I refused, and he didn't pressure me. I had dreams and goals, and that didn't include being a stay-at-home mommy. Needless to say, the entire week before I had to take my son to a day care I bawled my eyes out. By that point, since we hadn't planned on me staying home (because of my idiotic feminist mind set), we couldn't afford to do it. My husband felt horrible, and I felt like a total failure as a mother. It broke my heart every day taking him to day care. My husband and I did everything we could to make sure one of us was home with the kids. We worked odd shifts, saved money, and my husband went back to school for his degree. When our third child was born, I was finally able to live my dream. No, not being a career woman...being a stay-at-home mom! My husband was so excited to be able to make this happen. <br />
<br />
For the past nine years he has worked to "bring home the bacon." I am more than happy to cook the bacon, clean the pans, and wash the greasy laundry! I don't expect my man to lift a finger around the house. Funny, even though it isn't expected, he still helps out. He doesn't like me to mow the lawn or scoop the driveway. Our boys have seen this and refuse to allow me to do those jobs either. They will grab the shovel or mower before I ever even have to think about it! I only hope that they find wives who cherish that about them. <br />
<br />
I read your Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands. My husband said I didn't have anywhere to improve on. I love that man! I told him I wanted to make sure there wasn't more I could do to make him happy. He responded as a typical male...with the bedroom eyes. I was more than happy to oblige. I don't want my man thinking he can have it better somewhere else! He can have everything he wants right here at home. I only wish more women would make their husbands feel loved, wanted, and thoroughly desired! Wouldn't the world be a better place!<br />
<br />
I just want to thank you for everything you stand for and vocalize. I have become the woman I am today because of listening to you and reading your many books. By the way, my daughter's dream is to be a stay-at-home mom. I am thrilled! I couldn't be more proud of her.<br />
<br />
Thank you,<br />
<br />
Christine</p>
Staff
2011-09-06T07:00:00Z
"Nagging" in Relationships
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Nagging-in-Relationships/10059.html
2011-09-02T07:00:00Z
2011-09-02T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
I wanted to comment on what I heard you say on your show about women being the main cause of issues in the family unit by being naggy, needy, insecure, and pushing their husbands away. <br />
<br />
Well, I am not quite in that same boat, but you've helped me in a very unique way. I am a gay man in a committed relationship. My partner and I don't really take on specific gender roles, but what you said rang a bell deep within me and made me look within myself. I suppose I would be the "woman" in this situation. My partner is calm, collected, cool, secure, and knows at the end of the day we have each other. I see this through the little things we do for each other every day, and it is those little genuine things that mean so much to me. Until recently when your words caused an epiphany for me, I was insecure, needy, and the ever-damaging nag. I was always asking "testing" questions with no right answer, or always needing reassurance or outward showings of affection to "prove" to myself he loves me. <br />
<br />
You helped me realize all this sort of attitude accomplishes is pushing away your mate and making an idiot out of yourself. It does nothing to further relationships, and really only satisfies the needy one until they feel the need to nag about something else. Whether the perpetrator is a man or a woman, this rockiness in a relationship causes all harm and no good. <br />
<br />
Thank you so much for saying it clearly and to the point, as you always do. It rang true to me in my own way, and ultimately saved my relationship.<br />
<br />
Forever a fan,<br />
<br />
B.</p>
Staff
2011-09-02T07:00:00Z
What It Means to be A Hero to Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-It-Means-to-be-A-Hero-to-Me/10058.html
2011-09-01T13:00:00Z
2011-09-01T13:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
I love your advice. Been listening to you on and off for years...mostly because my MOTHER listens to you (and she already is a WISE woman, gifted with council!) <br />
<br />
I am currently deployed in 5th Fleet, and my mother gave me your podcasts to listen to in my stateroom (SOMETIMES I DO have "free time"!).<br />
<br />
I heard your opening regarding what it means to be a hero and must say I was inspired to share MY hero with you...especially as you referenced the Righteous Gentiles as your heroes. <a href="http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/biography/Kolbe.html" target="_blank">Maximilian Kolbe</a> is more than just a Hero to me...he has been and is a very real influence in my life. His writings, his "all for all" attitude has guided me in my own decisions, his courage has encouraged me to "get up" when I fall due to failure or my own lack of virtue.<br />
<br />
I might be considered a "warrior" due to my Commission, but the TRUE warriors and heroes are the ones who are willing to sacrifice self, with no thought of what they might get out of it, in return. Something I learn a bit more about every day and I pray that, if I were ever faced with such an option, I might choose to act with the courage, fortitude and LOVE as my Hero did.<br />
<br />
V/R<br />
ENS B., USN<br />
<br />
From <a href="http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/biography/Kolbe.html" target="_blank">jewishvirtuallibrary.org</a>:<br />
<br />
…During the Second World War, Maximilian Kolbe, a Catholic priest provided shelter to refugees from Greater Poland, including 2,000 Jews whom he hid from Nazi persecution in his friary near Warsaw. He was also active as a radio amateur, with Polish call letters SP3RN, vilifying Nazi activities through his reports.<br />
<br />
In February of 1941 he was arrested by the German Gestapo and imprisoned. In May, he was transferred to Auschwitz I as prisoner #16670.<br />
<br />
Two months later, a man from Kolbe’s barracks vanished, prompting the deputy camp commander to pick 10 men from the same barracks to be starved to death in Block 13 (notorious for torture), in order to deter further escape attempts. (The man who had disappeared was later found drowned in the camp latrine.) One of the selected men, Franciszek Gajowniczek, cried out, lamenting his family, and Kolbe volunteered to take his place.<br />
<br />
During the time in the cell Kolbe led the men in songs and prayer. After three weeks of dehydration and starvation, only Kolbe and three others were still alive. Finally he was murdered with an injection of carbolic acid...<br />
<br />
Father Kolbe was beatified as a confessor by Pope Paul VI in 1971 and was canonized by Pope John Paul II on October 10, 1982 in the presence of Franciszek Gajowniczek. Upon canonization, the Pope declared St. Maximilian Kolbe not a confessor, but a martyr...</p>
Staff
2011-09-01T13:00:00Z
Watch Me All Day
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Watch-Me-All-Day/10054.html
2011-08-31T07:00:00Z
2011-08-31T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Yesterday I was at the park with my 3 year old. Two 8 year old girls came to play shortly after we arrived. There was no one else at the park, so they took an interest in my son. They asked his age and when I replied, they asked, "Why isn't he in day care? He's three, and he's supposed to be in day care." I immediately replied, "Oh no, no, no! He is supposed to be with his Mom." "Well who teaches him?"… etc. they asked. I said, "Oh! We have fun all day doing things together." <br />
<br />
It was so sad to think little girls are being brought up today thinking 3 year olds are SUPPOSED to be in day care… like that's the norm!<br />
<br />
Well, I had forgotten all about that encounter by the time we arrived home. However, I was reminded of it this morning, when my 3 year old and I threw the sofa cushions into a pile so he could jump off the armrest and dive into the soft pile. He looked at me with the cutest expression and asked, "Momma, watch me all day!" Then he asked me, "Do you want to do it too?" I smiled wide.<br />
<br />
I think his comment says it all about where little 3 year olds want to be during the day -- with their mom, where they can have Mom watch them all day!<br />
<br />
<br />
I have learned children do not need pre-school or day care to get ahead in school. They need the old-fashioned stay-at-home Mom who gives them loving attention through out the day.<br />
<br />
We certainly agree with you on this issue. Thank you for what you do...keep it up for another 30 years or so!<br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
<br />
Mary</p>
Staff
2011-08-31T07:00:00Z
A Story About Drugs Every Parent Should Hear
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Story-About-Drugs-Every-Parent-Should-Hear/10050.html
2011-08-30T07:00:00Z
2011-08-30T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
I always told my son that addiction ran in our family, which it does. You don't know if you carry the gene. Why take the chance by trying any drugs? Even if they don't kill you, it's a miserable lifestyle. Believe me, I've seen what it has done to some of my family members.<br />
<br />
My son listened until he was about 17, at which time everything started falling apart. He had been a straight-A student, kind, loving, compassionate, so EASY to raise. He began to suffer from anxiety attacks around age 17. We took him to a psychologist thinking it would help him to have an objective 3rd party to talk to. It really didn't seem to help at all. I figured if I could just love him enough, he could overcome his problems. Little did I know that his experimentation with drugs had already begun in an effort to feel better. It just never occurred to me because he had always been such a straight arrow. And maybe part of me didn't want to believe it. <br />
<br />
Oh, if I could turn back the hands of time. Over the next 5 years, things escalated to the point that it was clear he had a drug problem. But it happened gradually, insidiously, so that on a day-to-day basis it wasn't that noticeable until it could no longer be hidden. Unfortunately, he was now over 18, so there was, in essence, nothing we could do legally to help our son. <br />
<br />
We buried our beloved son, our only child, 6 months ago at the tender age of 22. He died of a heroin overdose. Our lives will never be the same. Why, oh why, didn't we take more direct action when he was still a minor? Hindsight is 20/20. Once they turn 18, your hands are pretty much tied. <br />
<br />
Please, please Dr. Laura, tell people it CAN happen to their children; it can happen to anyone. This was a boy who was deeply loved and grew up with 2 decent, loving parents. <br />
<br />
Parents: Please learn from me. Be ever vigilant. If you don't want to say anything to them because they will be mad or they threaten to leave and you're afraid you won't see them, then grow a spine and BE A PARENT!! Would you rather have them dead and you'll NEVER see them again? Because I'm here to tell you that is the alternative. Think it can't happen to your family? That's what I thought. I was wrong. Please learn from my mistakes, I beg you. If I can prevent one other parent from living the hell that is now my life, I can go on. Thank you.<br />
<br />
P.</p>
Staff
2011-08-30T07:00:00Z
What Mama Taught Me About Drugs
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Mama-Taught-Me-About-Drugs/10045.html
2011-08-29T07:00:00Z
2011-08-29T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
You asked what we as parents have taught our children about drugs. I can't answer that because I've not had children. But I want to share with you what my Mama taught me about drugs.<br />
<br />
I was born and raised in the projects in California. Children in gangs, children taking drugs, and children having babies were all around me. One day, quite frustrated perhaps her words weren't getting through to me about certain things, Mama began pointing out the natural consequences of choices to me. <br />
<br />
When another 12 year old girl was pregnant, Mama taught (with a very clear visual) what happens when children have children: I watched as the girl brought the baby home from the hospital, watched as the girl quit school, watched as they lived on welfare.<br />
<br />
She did this each time something arose: a kid pinned to death to a fence, the police taking away some kid, etc.<br />
<br />
The saddest and hardest lesson, however, came with drugs. <br />
<br />
When my dearest friend became involved with drugs, as difficult as it was to listen to, Mama told me point-by-point what her drug use was doing to her family… Then Mama pointed out what it was doing to me: I lost my friend - not to death but because she didn't exist any longer due to drugs. I cried myself to sleep many nights. My friend used me to steal money from people she knew and left me literally holding the bag for her actions: she lied to me and deceived me.<br />
<br />
I was a 12 year old child and my world changed. I learned there are very few choices and actions which do not affect someone else, especially those who love us.<br />
<br />
When I entered high school I knew the signs of someone using and I stayed away from them. I had sorrow for their families and I knew the eventual consequences: dropping out of school, becoming lost, becoming worse than dead to friends and family because who they were was being eroded by the drugs.<br />
<br />
I never experimented with drugs. Not because of what my Mama taught me, but because of what she helped me clearly see.<br />
<br />
Perhaps today the answer for parents isn't WHAT they teach their children, but what they help their children to SEE. To see clearly is something that doesn't exist among many children today, I've observed. To be quick to observe and to learn from what others are doing - THAT is seeing clearly. And perhaps THAT way of teaching is more important than words - like how my Mama taught me.<br />
<br />
A.</p>
Staff
2011-08-29T07:00:00Z
Heartbreaking Sounds of Silence
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Heartbreaking-Sounds-of-Silence/10040.html
2011-08-26T07:00:00Z
2011-08-26T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
I am a proud stay-at-home mom of a daughter and son, 11 months apart. <br />
<br />
My children started kindergarten this week. I fought the tears until my final wave as I dropped them off on their first day of school. (It didn't help I began my menstrual cycle that morning either). After, I came home to a quiet house. I sat on the couch and took the whole experience in. Ironically, the day before I was telling them to, "Be quiet, let mommy finish making dinner." Now all I wanted was to hear loud giggles and stomping of their growing feet in my house. I began to cry again thinking of how fast time has gone by. Now they are dressed in uniforms spending a good day away from me. More tears came! <br />
<br />
I'm so thankful to my husband for his support when I left my profession to stay home with them. I was able to witness and partake in every new event in their little lives. Yes, I missed being at work, having adult conversations. But I couldn't let someone else watch them grow and become these bright and amazing little people ready and confident on their first day of school. Of course, there were days where I wanted to scream if I sang "Twinkle, Twinkle" one more time or had to play hide and seek for the fiftieth time. However, I cherish those memories now, more than ever, as my home feels empty and uneasily quiet! <br />
<br />
When I read your book "In Praise of Stay At Home Moms," I was singing hallelujahs after each chapter. I thought finally someone's is saying what I have always felt, but sadly, I have no friends who could relate as they all worked after bearing their kids. Their nannies were calling them when one of their children took their first step. Such a tragedy on so many levels! <br />
<br />
So I write this letter to you, who can relate to my sadness and longing for more time with my children as their first week of school comes to an end. I wanted to tell you thank you for the support you have given me in all your books I have read. There is one upside to having more "quiet" time in my house, I can now listen to you on the radio again! I wasn't able to do that before with two little ones tugging at my legs. I also have a little more time for myself to put on a cute outfit (that won't be stained from kids hand prints) and put on a little lip gloss so I can continue to be my husband's girlfriend. Wink-Wink! Again, thank you Dr. Laura for supporting all the stay-at-home mommies who will cry their eyes out as they wave good bye to their kids on their first day of school.<br />
<br />
I am my kids' mom, my husband's girlfriend, and a huge Dr. Laura Fan!<br />
<br />
Heidi <br />
I'm a working mom- I stay HOME!</p>
Staff
2011-08-26T07:00:00Z
A Warrior's Wife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Warriors-Wife/10037.html
2011-08-25T07:00:00Z
2011-08-25T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura, <br />
<br />
I just listened to your caller whose husband did not want to come home for leave from war, he wanted to just wait it out until his year tour was over and then come home. Years ago, I would have agreed with the wife, but where I am now in my life and marriage, I understand exactly why the husband feels the way he does.<br />
<br />
We are currently living in Japan, yes we were here for the earthquake, and my husband is attached to a ship that is called forward deployed. Forward deployed means in military terms, the emergency ships who are called first when something happens. In a Navy wife's words, it means they are gone on average, 8 months a year. They do 2-3 months stints here and there, are home for a few weeks, and then leave again. <br />
<br />
It is a hard life. I cry a lot. When night hits and the kids are asleep, I allow myself a certain amount of time to cry, eat chips or watch cheesy tv shows from the 80's. But I deal. It's tough, but I also have four kids. I home school and during that time, I am a rock. I am happy, flexible and by actions show my kids how much I love them and how amazing life is no matter what it hands us. Even if I am cringing in the inside, I never let it show to my kids. I, by no means am a robot, they have seen me upset, sad and any other crazy emotion women have, but I took on the responsibility of being a warrior's wife and I do not take that lightly. <br />
<br />
My husband is amazing, and I don't let one minute pass I don't tell him that, or my kids. The earthquake was truly a test for me, as a Navy wife, in how I handle emergency situations. We are close to Tokyo and felt the many, many earthquakes and dealt with the radiation scare. My husband was, of course, underway helping the Japanese when all this happened, but through it ALL, I kept reminding myself of one thing, "I wanted this job, I need to be tough". <br />
<br />
When I meet a new military wife, I always want to pull them aside and tell them a few pointers I wish someone had told me. Don't ask what time he will be home, just have a plate in the oven for when he does. Do not tell him you have it harder than him; HE is the one in a war zone, not you. But mostly, you have to be tough. This job is not for the weak and no one can do this job as well as my husband, and he needs to know I am home supporting him, cheering him on and doing what I need to do, so he can keep this country safe. <br />
<br />
I also have my soft side, and lingerie, for when he IS home and the kids are asleep. After all, I am doing what I can for my country and sleeping with my sailor!<br />
<br />
Thank you for making me into the wife and mother I always wanted to be, and you haven't even met me.<br />
<br />
Sincerely, <br />
<br />
Julie</p>
Staff
2011-08-25T07:00:00Z
Thank You Working Moms
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You-Working-Moms/10036.html
2011-08-24T07:00:00Z
2011-08-24T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Life as a Stay at Home Mom isn't easy, but there's some unsung heroes who make it easier. That's right! Working moms! So, I want to take a moment to say a few words to them.<br />
<br />
Thank you, working moms, for paying $25 for baby shoes, and then, because you have so much stuff, selling them to me for 25¢ at a garage sale three months later. They are REALLY cute!<br />
<br />
Thank you working moms, for having your kid's birthday party catered. Those "gourmet" cookies and colored popcorn balls went over just as well at my house. Yum!<br />
<br />
Thank you, working moms for buying Lunchables and fruit roll ups. Your purchases enable grocery stores to keep selling staples like milk and flour really cheap. I appreciate it.<br />
<br />
Thank you, working moms, for leaving me the playground, pool, library and stores all to myself in the afternoon. My kids love the slides. <br />
<br />
And thank you, working moms, for lowering the bar. Sometimes, when I'm exhausted and just need a break, I know I can just pop in a video and give my kids at least as good of an upbringing as I got in the day home I was raised in. I turned out okay (kinda snarky, but I hear too much t.v. will create snarky people)<br />
<br />
So keep it up. And don't let anyone tell you your job doesn't mean anything. It means it's that much easier for me to stay home for mine.<br />
<br />
Rachel</p>
Staff
2011-08-24T07:00:00Z
"Mother" as a Legal Occupation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mother-as-a-Legal-Occupation/10031.html
2011-08-23T07:00:00Z
2011-08-23T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>I am in a custody battle with my ex-husband and his attorneys. The following is a letter to the judge presiding over the case.<br />
<br />
Dear Sir:<br />
<br />
In response to the question "What if I told you to get a job?"<br />
<br />
My response is I already have a "job". It is a full time plus overtime, twenty four hours a day, seven days a week including holidays and through every illness "job". I believe it is one of the most important jobs in the world. It takes immense sacrifice and endurance yet it has the greatest benefits imaginable, the result being happy healthy well rounded educated young people who will ultimately be positive and productive members of society. I am a mother. Not just because I gave birth, which was the easiest (16 hours of labor) part of being a mother, and not even with the first six weeks of trying to recover while breastfeeding, sleep deprivation and still managing to get my older children to school with cute pig tails and making it to every PTA, Girl Scout meeting, parent teacher conference and school performance. But because every day I am their mother, I am their teacher, caregiver, nurse, chef (I'm not claiming to be 5 stars, but they seem to like it), and nutrition specialist (endless allergy info expert). I am their attorney (sticking up for them no matter what), mediator (problem solving), and so on, and in return they are my inspiration, playmates and everyday teach me new ways to be a better mom.<br />
<br />
I understand that the label Stay-At-Home Mom has been used and abused by so many unqualified, lazy women out there who hide behind the title to collect a child support check. Just as some people use our tax payers' and the governments' money, by collecting with false disability and unemployment claims. Therefore I am now changing the title of my occupation to what it really and truly is. Because with all the birthday parties, school and extracurricular activities and park explorations, the last thing I do as a "mom" with children ages 7 and 5 years old is stay-at-home. I am a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations. I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't), in the laboratory and in the fields, (indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters, (the whole darned family), and already have four credits, (3 daughters and finally 1 son). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, and the rewards are more of a satisfaction, rather than just money. <br />
<br />
Please accept this response in its delinquency as I have been thinking about this very important question since you asked me in the courtroom a day and a half ago. I think it is very important that no matter how overly used and exaggerated the term may be, I am a Mom making $0/mo, not a full time minimum w age employee making $1,500/mo. If I were to be working this hypothetical full time minimum wage job then I believe the hypothetical taxes should be taken out and hypothetical daycare costs should be deducted.<br />
<br />
Not to mention the cost of a lifetime of counseling for these un-parented children whose role models are limited to television stars and who have to try and reinvent what is family dynamics themselves. A daycare provider does not have the ability to provide unconditional love, to cover them with kisses, to know what is wrong just by looking into their eyes. The only values and tradition being taught to these children is that one day they too will be ignorant to what is truly important with the upbringing of children, a strong family structure.<br />
<br />
What is left of us as true mothers and fathers in this generation should be celebrated and supported to ensure the next generation understands the importance of the role, men as fathers and providers and women as mothers and homemakers. Not just cast aside and labeled as able-bodied women who are habitually unemployed. I am hoping one day, if we as mothers are still overlooked by society, at least we will be recognized by the Family Court System as necessary and essential parts of our children's' lives, not just unemployed random women with court appointed hypothetical minimum wage jobs.<br />
<br />
I am hoping by writing this you will recognize the importance a mother makes when sacrificing both financial and personal achievement to devote themselves to the children they created not just signing a daycare agreement so someone else can "raise" them. I hope that in the next case you hear, if you see a mother as devoted as I am to her children, you will not belittle her with your hypothetical minimum wage job or that offensive question implying she doesn't work. But please let her know she is respected for her physical, financial (endless coupon clipping and budgeting) and emotional commitment to the children just as a father should be respected for honoring his financial commitment to the children they created. <br />
<br />
<br />
Sincerely…<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
That letter is the only way I could stick up for myself against my ex-husband, his attorneys, the judge, and the Nevada Family Court System. I have learned I am not the only one with this ongoing problem of being made to feel like less then nothing because we write "Stay-at-home mother" on our Financial Disclosure Form, not just unemployed by choice (as the court puts it) but we make the sacrifice every day devoting ourselves to our children. It seems the California Family Courts have also suggested to a friend of mine I met through all this court drama, to go get a job in order to pay her husband's 16 year old son's child support. He has a full-time job with the postal service that his ex-wife takes full advantage of. They have 1 daughter and 2 sons with one on the way and gave custody to the mother of his oldest son many years ago. This "mother" is one of the bad apples, in and out of jail and a druggie who gives the rest of us real mothers a bad name.<br />
<br />
My concern is just because there are some bad apples out there, how can we as real full-time mothers get the recognition we and the children deserve in the Family Court System? My idea was to start by collecting signatures and filing a motion our County Family Court Division but it is obvious now it goes much further then just the State of NV. Do I need to go to Washington? Should I get the media involved? Any suggestions on how to get "Mother" listed as a legal occupation, not just in the Family Courts but when filing taxes, on school registration forms etc.? Any ideas would be greatly appreciated!<br />
<br />
Thank you!<br />
B.<br />
My kids' mom</p>
Staff
2011-08-23T07:00:00Z
Who Falls in Love Faster?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Who-Falls-in-Love-Faster/10030.html
2011-08-22T07:00:00Z
2011-08-22T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>This is in response to your recent opening comments about men or women falling in love faster than the other. I just had to let you know my experience. <br />
<br />
Years ago when I was single I knew what men wanted, a sweet, sexy good girl! I never listened to you back then but I just knew that's what any man would want. I never drank, or did drugs. I worked hard and lived a pretty clean cut life; my home was usually spotless and I worked out and ate healthy so I looked pretty good as well. Needless to say I was pursued by just about any gentleman I would come across. I would date them and after a couple dates I would realize this is not the man I wanted to father my children, so I would move on....they would not. Dr Laura, I had so many suitors who said I was "the one" all I had to do was choose wisely. <br />
<br />
I am happy to say that I did, and now at 37, I am married to a hunk who would walk through fire for me and we have 4 beautiful daughters. To those who think it's because I must have had a great upbringing, you are wrong. My dad was totally absent and my mother worked and was terribly abusive verbally. By the time I graduated high school she had me convinced no one would ever want me. I guess I proved her wrong, huh? <br />
<br />
So in conclusion, in my experience all the men fell faster, probably because I gave them something to fall for.....<br />
<br />
Elizabeth</p>
Staff
2011-08-22T07:00:00Z
How to Stay Married 40 Years
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-to-Stay-Married-40-Years/10021.html
2011-08-19T07:00:00Z
2011-08-19T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>My husband and I are celebrating 40 years of marriage. People ask us how we've done it and we both agree, it's the morning kiss goodbye. Sounds strange I know, but it's the time we connect and commit every day and make a silent promise to be there for each other. Here is a poem I wrote about it:<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>The Morning Kiss Goodbye</strong><br />
By Evelyn G.<br />
<br />
Breakfast Over<br />
Tie on straight<br />
We meet by the door<br />
Can't be late<br />
<br />
Thinking about<br />
What lies ahead<br />
A grouchy boss<br />
Unmade beds<br />
<br />
Fires to put out<br />
Bills to pay<br />
We need strength<br />
To face the day<br />
<br />
The Goodbye kiss<br />
Don't rush this time<br />
Smiling eyes<br />
I'm yours, you're mine<br />
<br />
Tousled hair<br />
Fresh shaven face<br />
My love, my partner<br />
A warm embrace<br />
<br />
Infusing strength<br />
A daily pact<br />
I'm here for you<br />
You've got my back<br />
<br />
We are one<br />
A braided cord<br />
A lingering kiss<br />
Courage shored<br />
<br />
I love you</p>
Staff
2011-08-19T07:00:00Z
From Career Woman to Stay-at-home Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/From-Career-Woman-to-Stay-at-home-Mom/10018.html
2011-08-18T07:00:00Z
2011-08-18T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Hi! My sister Molly and I are HUGE fans of yours. We both quit our careers to stay home and raise our kids and we have really appreciated your support along the way! I wanted to share with you a short article my sister wrote for a local Sacramento blog on the topic... Hope you enjoy! - Ashley<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.girlsonthegrid.com/?p=7987" target="_blank"><strong>From the Capitol to the Rabbit Hole</strong></a><br />
<br />
By Molly DeFrank<br />
<br />
A few months ago, I made a pretty radical career move.<br />
<br />
I turned down an offer to nearly double my old salary. Instead, I opted for a job with no salary at all. A job with no benefits, no vacation days and terrible hours.<br />
<br />
I am a stay-at-home mom.<br />
<br />
The average itinerary of a stay-at-home mom looks something like this: wake up to chatty toddler and crying infant. Nurse infant. Cross fingers that toddler is entertained by Barney episode until nursing is complete. Unsuccessfully burp infant while preparing breakfast for toddler. Burn toast while cleaning spit-up off your shirt. Rummage for clean shirt for self and infant. Reassure whiny toddler that breakfast will be ready soon. Change mom shirt and infant onesie. Burn second piece of toast. Forget the toast. I hate toast. Pour cereal. Awkwardly guide infant's bow-legs through Exersaucer leg holes so you can secure toddler in high chair. Pour milk into cereal bowl. Turn around for .3 seconds to grab spoon. Fail to intercept cereal bowl before it hits the floor, courtesy of overeager toddler hands. Reassure crying toddler that accidents happen. Clean mess, pour new bowl of cereal. Hope kids can entertain themselves for 20 seconds so you can microwave your coffee for the 3rd time that morning - and wonder why they haven't invented an iv coffee kit yet.<br />
<br />
And that's just the first 15 minutes of the day. Every. Single. Day. <br />
<br />
I've actually always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. Ever since I can remember, I have pictured my adult self in head-to-toe June Cleaver garb, seamlessly balancing playgroup, cleaning and baking. My pearls would lay neatly above the neckline of my flowy summer dress as I hung laundry on the clothesline outside. The children would run around laughing and blowing bubbles and I'd be living in a 1950s Tide commercial. It would be awesome.<br />
<br />
But here I am, a dozen years and two kids later, feeling like I deserve a medal if I've managed to have us all showered and dressed before 9am. Our clean laundry sits in baskets throughout the house, old, wrinkled, waiting desperately for June Cleaver.<br />
<br />
I've never had a job that has kept me so continuously busy and yet provided such little evidence of having worked non-stop (see laundry piles). <br />
<br />
In case you are currently working full-time and want to know how your life might be different if you decide to make this radical leap, here are some ways I have noticed that stay-at-home-mom-ing differs from working in an office full-time:<br />
<br />
When people ask you what you do for a living, do they sound interested or impressed when you tell them? Yes? Ok, now imagine the opposite reaction of that, and then an awkward "Good for you!" that sounds exactly the same as when your 3rd grade PE teacher congratulated you for finishing the mile run 10 minutes later than everyone else in your class.<br />
<br />
Do you currently feel a tremendous sense of gratification when you complete a work assignment well? Do the people you work for give you a pat on the back when you do the right thing? In your new position, when you do the right thing, like refuse to allow your toddler to drink windex, your good deed will be met with lots and lots of yelling. Right in your face.<br />
<br />
Imagine having a college roommate who was drunk all the time. She spills snacks and drinks all over the place. She leaves her stuff everywhere. She is emotionally unstable, laughing hysterically at things that aren't funny (like, I don't know, say, a giant purple dinosaur on television?) and then, 10 seconds later, crying over things that aren't sad (like when you run out of Cheerios). This is your life with a toddler.<br />
<br />
In your current job, do you find that random passers-by critique your work methods and tell you how to do it better? Stay-at-home moms get lots of free advice from people everywhere: at the grocery store, in the mall, in the waiting room at the doctor's office. Sometimes strangers even stare at you with disapproving frowns instead of verbalizing their suggestions while your child throws a tantrum in the market because you won't open the giant bag of m&ms.<br />
<br />
Does your existing job allow you to use the ladies room without bringing along your entourage? Do you currently realize at 11am you still haven't had a chance to empty your bladder since you woke up? This will happen. Every day.<br />
<br />
The actual experience of parenting my children all day, every single day is exhausting and difficult. It is, hands down, the hardest, craziest, most unpredictable and thankless job I have ever had. But each day is interspersed with indescribably magical moments. Like when my 21-month old tries to count to ten. ("one, dooo, vree, four, eeet, seven, eeet, seven, eeet...") Or when my 6 month-old laughs uncontrollably at his sister's dance moves. Or when my daughter hears my stomach growl and says, "Airplane!"<br />
<br />
This job makes me feel wonderful, awful, exasperated, fulfilled, heart-broken, panicked and thankful. Sometimes all in the same day. Sometimes all within an hour. Parenting full-time is better - and harder - than I ever could have imagined it would be. Despite the qualitative differences between pay-checks and poopy diapers, I can say with confidence I have one of the most difficult professions in the world.<br />
<br />
And I wouldn't have it any other way.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Molly recently traded in her suits and heels for jeans and TOMS and moved to the 'burbs. She spends her days chasing after her 21 month-old daughter, Selah, and 6 month old son, Jack. A former press aide to Governor Schwarzenegger and Insurance Commissioner Steve Poizner, DeFrank now spends less time putting spin into the news cycle, and more time putting laundry into the spin cycle.</p>
Staff
2011-08-18T07:00:00Z
It's A Miracle We Survived
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-A-Miracle-We-Survived/10017.html
2011-08-17T07:00:00Z
2011-08-17T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
I apologize in advance, as this will probably be a long letter. <br />
<br />
My husband and I are coming up on our 10th Wedding Anniversary. To be completely honest, 6 years ago, I didn't think we would make it here, and it's all because of the lessons that I learned from your book, The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands, that we did.<br />
<br />
In 2003, we lost a set of twin babies to miscarriage, and in 2004 we lost another pregnancy. I was devastated. At that time, I thought I was the only one going through this grief. To make it worse, the general society does not have much understanding of the grief that miscarriage causes. You are supposed to "let it go, and move on because it's not like you actually delivered that child or carried to full term" Trying to deal with my grief, I joined a women's group for step-mothers that honestly, just contributed to my anger and bad behavior. This was the beginning of the downward spiral that nearly caused a divorce. <br />
<br />
Before the miscarriages, I spent a lot of time out in the shop with my husband working on his car hobbies. After the miscarriages...something in me changed. I quit going out there. I stayed in the house, and began sleeping on the couch. My husband began staying out there later and later each night...sometimes until 3 or 4 in the morning. <br />
<br />
Then in 2005, I became pregnant again, and this time we had a viable pregnancy...and I was scared of loosing that baby every day. Then my husband began going out to the shop immediately upon coming in the door from work, every day. It became his obsession. I became angry and distant. I began nagging, bitching, and complaining. I began belittling his hobby, and putting him down for his obsession. How dare he avoid his pregnant wife after two previous miscarriages...I began telling him he was not a good father or husband, because I and his child was in the house by ourselves. I began bitching about what he wasn't helping me with, nagging him to death. Going out to the shop and picking a fight in front of his friends. <br />
<br />
I got caught up in the beat of the family drum after the baby was born. Treating him like my disobedient child, rather than the love of my life. All of this behavior by me, pushed him more and more towards his hobby, and farther and farther from me. In late 2005, shortly after the birth of our son, I made the worst mistake of my life. I had a very brief affair with a man who told me how beautiful I was, and how special I was, and how perfect I was. Realizing what I was doing was wrong on so many levels, I broke off the affair, and immediately that day, that man called my husband and told him everything before I could even be honest and tell my husband myself. Things only got worse from there. My husband began drinking, which turned into violent outbursts and constant screaming. I knew this was all my fault, but was still trying to blame his lack of time with me for the affair to begin with... That's when I read your book on the recommendation of a friend. <br />
<br />
Everything about our marriage changed once I started behaving like a wife again: stroking his ego, filling him with compliments, and most of all recognizing his hard work for our family.... We slowly became even stronger than we ever were on our wedding day. We started talking, and finally a break through...The start of all of this, the absorbing himself in his hobby, was his way of dealing with his own grief regarding the miscarriages. I learned he hated to see me hurting, and didn't know how to take my anger and pain away, so he just avoided me. I also learned, my sudden refusal to go and enjoy his hobby with him hurt him too...as well as my acting as if I was his mother, not his wife. I hurt him in so many ways by making him feel like he could do nothing right...It is only a miracle we survived it all. <br />
<br />
Today, he is absolutely my best friend in the world. And when I changed my attitude and behavior, he changed his. I swear, he would "Slay Dragons for Me" He has walked away from life long friends that he felt were disrespectful to me...He has become my Hero. I truly found that love I needed, once I was able to give that same love to him. Thank You, Dr. Laura. Your book really changed where my life path was heading. I appreciate it so much, you'll never know. Occasionally, I pull it out, and read it again, just to remind myself not to get caught up in my own selfishness, and to remember to put him first and foremost in everything I do.<br />
<br />
Sincerely, <br />
<br />
E.</p>
Staff
2011-08-17T07:00:00Z
How Keeping Him Happy Also Makes Me Happy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Keeping-Him-Happy-Also-Makes-Me-Happy/10014.html
2011-08-16T07:00:00Z
2011-08-16T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>I've listened to you a long time and finally put your sage wisdom to work.<br />
<br />
I've been working off the baby weight from our second child, working a few hours a week and doing my best to be a good wife (like meeting the hubby at the door with a drink when he comes home and putting love notes in his lunch). Thought our love life was good - probably not as often as he wanted it, but often enough for my busy schedule.<br />
<br />
A few weeks ago, I discovered hard-core porn on the computer. The ME up 'til then would have cried, yelled at him then guilted him into submission until the next time he looked at it. So I emailed him I found what was on the computer and he better be ready to deal with me when he came home.<br />
<br />
I immediately got online and bought some sexy lingerie and dug out some cute things I wore years ago (and they look better now than they did then!) My husband came home, sheepishly (no kiss, no drink, barely a hello) and he knew he was in trouble. After the kids were asleep, I went upstairs and told him to give me 5 minutes and then come up - when he did, his world was rocked by what he saw!!<br />
<br />
After our "talk" he explained he didn't want to "bother me with his needs - what we were doing just wasn't enough for him and he knew I was busy. I apologized for being selfish and told him what hurt more than anything was that he lied to me and let me think everything was okay and let his needs be met online. I told him that wasn't going to happen on my watch again.<br />
<br />
I've been playing the sexy wife for 2 weeks now - I feel better about myself, have been wearing more makeup, doing my hair and not fighting with everyone (he doesn't get ALL the fun!) I got my online order and every night he looks forward to the new outfit. We're almost having sex TOO much - he told me that HE needed a night off! And I just smiled, flashed him what's on under the cotton robe and that ended that talk.<br />
<br />
THANK YOU for letting me realize how important keeping my MAN happy is and how that translates to making my home a happier place for me!<br />
<br />
God bless you, the good works that you do and thank you for your son's service.<br />
<br />
Casey</p>
Staff
2011-08-16T07:00:00Z
The Thing That Keeps My Husband Going
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Thing-That-Keeps-My-Husband-Going/10013.html
2011-08-15T07:00:00Z
2011-08-15T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>I just wanted to let you know how amazing my husband is. He is almost 62 years old and is still working in road construction. Yep, 100 degree weather in the direct sun for 12 hours a day, 5 days a week. <br />
<br />
Since reading your book, The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands, years ago, I've made it a point to have a clean home and delicious dinner waiting for him when he gets home, hot and tired and dirty after a long day at work. I bake goodies that are healthy for his lunch and pack his lunch for him. We have sex as often as he wants - almost every other day for the first while, but it has calmed down to 2 to 3 times a week now! I keep his laundry clean, clothes-line dried, folded and put away. I'm careful of the family money and try to always have something saved for rainy winters. I work hard at not nagging him and would never shame him. Don't get me wrong, I am far from perfect. I am still trying to overcome my habit of talking on and on as I defend myself when he questions something I do that he doesn't agree with, and I occasionally snap at him when he asks me a question that I think he should know the answer to.<br />
<br />
We've raised 7 kids together. Three of his, one of mine (he adopted her) and three we had jointly. It wasn't always smooth sailing and we both made major errors along the way. We had to learn to become mature and be nice to one another. All seven of our kids have grown up to become excellent law abiding citizens. However I still have regrets about things I did and said as we raised them, that's for sure.<br />
<br />
But nevertheless many times after my husband has worked an especially long hot day he tells me the thing that kept him going that day was the love of his wife. <br />
<br />
Thank you Dr. Laura for writing The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands. It has made all the difference in our marriage!<br />
<br />
D.</p>
Staff
2011-08-15T07:00:00Z
Defining Heroes and Role Models
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Defining-Heroes-and-Role-Models/10010.html
2011-08-12T07:00:00Z
2011-08-12T07:00:00Z
<img class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" />
<p>Dr Laura - <br /> <br /> Regarding your blog: <a href="/b/Heroes-or-Role-Models/10003.html">Heroes or Role Models</a>. I think your definition of heroes is a bit broad and perhaps dilutes the respect due to these exceptional people especially when applied to the military, police and firemen and as well to similar dangerous professions. <br /> <br /> I spent 7 years in the military because it was a duty I felt I owed this country that took me in as a refugee from Nazi and communist Hungary. I spent 5 of those years as an Infantry Officer teaching other young men the art of war, the use of weapons as well as the finer virtues of personal conduct. That did not make me or any other military person a hero. If so we should all be granted the Medal of Honor. It is a life I chose with all the dangers associated with it. The agreement I entered into was that I would protect this nation with the understanding my life was in danger. It was a contract, a job if you will, and we all got paid a little for it. Honorable yes; brave perhaps, but nothing heroic. Similarly police and firemen choose dangerous professions but so do high tension electrical workers, miners and any number of high risk occupations. The difference is they all enter it willingly under agreement knowing the dangers involved which include the loss of life. Again brave, perhaps but heroic, not, and there is compensation involved for all of that. Additionally those professions all attempt to minimize the danger by providing training and special means of protection such as flak jackets, self-defense armament, smoke/gas masks, tasers etc. all designed to minimize risk. So the potential for the loss of life is part of the voluntary agreement and part of the 'job' if you will.<br /> <br /> Jumping on a grenade to save your fellow warriors is not part of that 'agreement'. Running into a building or jumping into a river to save a life after rescue efforts have been formally abandoned is not part of the agreement. Those are all individual and separate moral decisions made outside of a job description and requirement that includes danger to one's life. I believe that and only that is what makes a person a 'hero'.<br /> <br /> My uncle died from imprisonment and daily torture for 6 years in the infamous 'terror house' of Budapest at the hands of communists thugs. He refused to join the communist party and publicly opposed both Nazi and communist regimes. He had no 'agreement' to do that, and it wasn't his 'job'. It was a free, personal and purely moral decision. He was freed during the '56 revolution having been reduced to a vegetable. He no longer recognized his family and died soon after not only from his beatings but from the loss of his humanity. He is a real hero.<br /> <br /> Fred</p>
Staff
2011-08-12T07:00:00Z
Rude, Harsh, But True Advice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Rude,-Harsh,-But-True-Advice/10005.html
2011-08-11T07:00:00Z
2011-08-11T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Hi Mother Laura,<br />
<br />
About 18 years ago I called you regarding a very bad marriage I was in. I had the brilliant idea to get pregnant with my awful, abusive husband and then divorce him. That way, I could have my child and raise it on my own. In a nutshell, you ripped me to shreds saying "How dare you PLAN on raising a childless father, and so on". <br />
<br />
WHAT A BITCH!!! <br />
<br />
Happily, I didn't follow through with my hair brained plan - and I divorced the bastard. Thank you for your RUDE, HARSH, but true advice. <br />
<br />
I have been HAPPILY married with two boys for nearly thirteen years. My husband is wonderful and I strive DAILY to be his girlfriend (and naughty girl) and our kids' mom. <br />
<br />
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!<br />
<br />
Love and great big bear hugs,<br />
<br />
Becky<br />
<br />
</p>
Staff
2011-08-11T07:00:00Z
The Tea Cart
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Tea-Cart/10002.html
2011-08-10T07:00:00Z
2011-08-10T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Hi, Dr. Laura-<br />
<br />
My husband and I conduct estate sales. We witness lots of bad behavior from buyers: price sticker removal, hiding goods to retrieve at half-price time, and so on. These ploys intensify the "chicken soup for the soul" transactions, as follows:<br />
<br />
A cute couple in their 80s had purchased some linen napkins and a classic novel. On the way out, the man asked if the maple tea cart was on sale, too (we'd priced it at $80.00 in hopes that we'd get half, as antique items are a harder sell in lean times). He gladly paid the money, and a fellow shopper helped him get the cart to his car.<br />
An hour later, note in hand, he returned for some items his wife left behind. "I'm so proud of that cart!" he said.<br />
<br />
"Back in my day, they were a sign of wealth. We lived in a two room apartment when I was a boy, and one day I sneaked into the yard of the rich lady down the block. I took some grapes, and when she caught me I ran home."<br />
<br />
"My aunt said I was to go back and apologize. When I showed up, the lady forgave me. She took me into her parlor, where her maid served me tea from a beautiful cart. From that day I hoped I would have my own some day."<br />
<br />
"And now you do!", I said. I think the story was the real treasure, don't you, Dr. Laura? Thanks for everything you do! <br />
<br />
Robyn</p>
Staff
2011-08-10T07:00:00Z
Not Getting Your Needs Met By Your Husband?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Not-Getting-Your-Needs-Met-By-Your-Husband/9995.html
2011-08-09T03:00:00Z
2011-08-09T03:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Hi Dr. Laura, <br />
<br />
I've been married for just over two years and have been having a hard time with my husband. We've been fighting on and off since the marriage. When we fight, we are both miserable and when we get along, it's amazing. Lately I feel like I am not being heard, my feelings are disregarded and my needs are being ignored. <br />
<br />
As a listener, I heard about your book "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" which I recently purchased. My method of beating my "needs" into my husband through constant fighting is not working (what a surprise) so I thought your book might help me see the light on how to be a better wife and create my own happiness instead of expecting my husband to magically make me "happy". Buying your book has changed my life! <br />
<br />
I am only starting Chapter 4 and already I see what a nagging, complaining and ungrateful wife I've been. The more I complain about what I am not satisfied with, the worse it gets. Two days ago, based on the advice you give in your book (and on the air) I decided to stop complaining about all the ways my "feelings" have been hurt, and start praising my husband for all the wonderful things he does do. I even apologized to him for making him feel like he doesn't measure up and for being an inadequate wife, always complaining about my needs.<br />
<br />
Guess what? He has responded wonderfully! In just two days of me being nicer to the man I truly adore, he has been loving, affectionate, kind and tender with me. I am in heaven!! How stupid I've been, expecting him to treat me well, when I've been consistently telling him he doesn't! I can't believe how simple it is. I have a message for all wives who aren't getting their "needs" met: TRY MEETING THE NEEDS OF YOUR MAN! You will be amazed at how your husband responds to being loved and adored! <br />
<br />
Dr. Laura, I am married to a truly wonderful man whom I adore and admire, and I kick myself for not showing him every single day of our marriage, but I am grateful for "seeing the light" at this early stage in our marriage, before it's too late. <br />
<br />
He has supported me while I pursued a degree, celebrated my accomplishments, never complains when I see my friends or buy things I need, loves my cooking, and always tells me how sexy and beautiful I am. I am a lucky woman and thanks to some very simple advice from you, I am committed to being my husband's loving girlfriend and, as one of your callers put it so aptly, I am happy to be his porn star whenever he needs me to be! <br />
<br />
Thank you for writing your book. I subscribe to SiriusXM so I can listen to you and I will continue to be a loyal listener and reader. <br />
<br />
God bless you!<br />
<br />
Bianca</p>
Staff
2011-08-09T03:00:00Z
Advice to My Daughter on Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Advice-to-My-Daughter-on-Marriage/9992.html
2011-08-05T07:00:00Z
2011-08-05T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>This is a letter I gave to my daughter right before she married:<br />
<br />
I have always tried to be a model for you of what it is to be a good wife. After all these years I am still in love with your father, more than ever. I hope you will be just as happy in your marriage.<br />
<br />
I would like to give you some advice and I hope you will take it to heart. It comes from deep inside my soul. I have not always done the right things. Your dad and I have had our troubles along the way but I learned a lot. One of the greatest gifts I think we have given you is for us to have stayed together and actually to like the person we love. <br />
<br />
Say "I love you" often and show it even more often. Hug, kiss, and hold hands. God made this man for you to have and to hold. Never turn your husband down for making love. He won't go anywhere else if he's fed well at home. Be playful, make it fun and keep it interesting. <br />
<br />
Say "Thank you" for the things he does for you. Anywhere he takes you. Any gifts he gives you. Any money he gives you - even if it's bill money. Show gratitude by saying thank you and acknowledging his effort.<br />
<br />
Be kind and sweet. Never cut him down in front of people especially your children. This will hurt him deeper than anything. Let him have his male pride even when you think he's wrong. Hold your tongue. It's better to be loved than to be right. <br />
<br />
Think the best of him. Speak the best about him to others. Keep a mental rolodex of his shining moments. Draw on those memories when life gets hard. It will help pull you through the rough patches every marriage has.<br />
<br />
Allow him to do his job - Lead, Provide and Protect you in the best way he knows how. Don't stand in his way or rise up against him. I know he will do his job as I have seen him taking charge and doing these things in your life already. Your calling is to be Honest with him and Respectful towards him. Right now it seems easy to do these things but there will come times when it will be hard. Be honest even when he will not like to hear the truth. Say anything you want but say it in a respectful manner. This will get you a long way. Children learn disobedience, dishonesty and disregard from their mother's example toward their father. Remember you chose him and God made him your leader though the covenant of marriage. <br />
<br />
Love him more than you love your children. Don't put your children in front of him in your life. Women were created because man needed them, not primarily for children. Children are an expression of you and your husband's living breathing love. <br />
Still keep having private time alone together. Laugh together, share secrets and have fun as a couple.<br />
<br />
Stand by him when he disciplines your children. Never pick them up or cuddle them after punishment until they have made up with their father. Up hold his rules and leadership of the family. Remember he has veto power in all decisions. Never disagree with him in front of the children. Present a united front. You can voice your concerns at a more private time. <br />
<br />
My grandma always said, "Women go to men for strength." Lean on him. Need him. Listen to him. Men go to woman for comfort. A clean house, a good meal, soft kind words, back rubs, sex. Always comfort him. Never make him sorry he came home to you. <br />
<br />
You can come and tell me anything you want. I'm your mother and love you very, very much. But as long as your husband is doing his job (leading, providing and protecting you) I will never build a case against him to you. I will always direct you back to him. He is to be your head and you're his heart.<br />
<br />
I think you have a good man. Treat him like one and he will act like one. He will lay the moon and stars at your feet for your pleasure. And you will be in his heart forever.<br />
<br />
I love you very much and I am proud of the woman you have grown up to be. I can't wait to see how God writes the rest of your life story. I will be praying for you both as you start this new chapter of your life. <br />
<br />
Love <br />
Mom</p>
Staff
2011-08-05T07:00:00Z
Domestic Violence, Through the Eyes of a Child
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Domestic-Violence,-Through-the-Eyes-of-a-Child/9989.html
2011-08-05T00:00:00Z
2011-08-05T00:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>This is an article I wrote about domestic violence based on my own horrors I went through as a child. It is to any woman who is torn about leaving their "Dear-Violent-Husband."<br />
<br />
This is my own personal experiences.<br />
"Up until I was 9 yrs old, I had lived with my dad. He brought me up with the Christian fundamental basics. He also taught me to stand tall, and say what you mean and mean what you say. He was pretty up front about it. And I think that is part of why I am the way that I am, and not some violent abusive drunk. Well when I was 9 I had decided I wanted to know my mother and my dad let me stay with her. <br />
<br />
From 9 until 16, I lived with my mother and her husband. During this time they tried to hide/keep me away from my father. I think she was trying to get revenge for him getting full custody of me when I was younger, but I don't know. Anyway, my stepfather was a raging alcoholic, verbally and physically abusive, and to top it off a very heavy pot smoker. (That will be saved for another debate) More times then I can count, I remember being terrified of this guy. My mother was scared of him too, but try being a child, and being BEATEN, PUNCHED, and KICKED by someone who is so much bigger and powerful then you are. Try being a child and watch someone do that kind of behavior to the one who is supposed to protect you, and continues to let it happen. You are helpless. My 3 younger brothers and I were always living in fear of what the next day, hour, and even minute would bring. I remember being forced to ride home, in the back of a pick-up truck WHILE he drove home drunk, yelling and screaming at my mother. When he was mad, he always drove faster, and more reckless and us children were ALWAYS scared for our lives. <br />
<br />
One particular moment that haunts me to this day was when we heard him BEATING our mother and throwing her down the stairs, hearing her scream out in pain, then hearing him yell "Get Up! Get up or I'll kill you!" He kept his guns in the bedroom downstairs where this was happening. My brothers and I would be in tears in our room praying that she got back up, and more importantly, that she was ok. But we knew she wasn't. We all agreed if we heard gunshots, we would run and try to hide. And there have been times in his drunken rage he did try shooting at her. She would sometimes take us and leave him, but within hours she would always go back. Just when we thought we would be safe, and not constantly looking over our shoulder to see if he was following us, just when we could breathe in relief, she would turn us around and go back to him, forcing us to face our fears once more. She would always tell us "Oh he didn't mean it." I think that is just what she wanted to believe. She wanted to believe she could change him; that her love and loyalty would soften him, change him, and they would live "Happily Ever After." It didn't happen like that at all. <br />
<br />
I would talk to the school counselors, CPS would come out, but there was nothing they could do. It was my word vs his, and of course he would lie, pretend everything was ok, but as soon as they left, I would get beat for saying anything. There was a time, while I was living with them, when I even tried to commit suicide, because I didn't feel as if there was any way out. But for some reason the gun had jammed. There are so many times I can recall where I should have died.<br />
<br />
Finally after I was old enough, I left to live with my real dad. I felt as if I had escaped my own house of horrors, but I felt so much sorrow for my brothers. I felt as if I betrayed my brothers because I was the oldest, I was supposed to protect them, but I had an escape while they were left there to continue to go through that hell. And I had some pretty serious anger issues. I would act out, get into fights, I got bad grades in school. I was acting out because I didn't have any other way to express myself of my pain I was feeling because I felt like I had let my brothers down. I am the oldest, and yet while I was finally safe from that horror, they were not.<br />
<br />
After I was finally safe with my real father, when I was old enough, I joined the Army. Now part of me was extremely rebellious, and I think it was my way of acting out the pain I was feeling from my later half of my childhood. The Army, my father and I thought, would give me the structure and discipline we felt I needed to get my life back on track. And we were right, it did. But with my childhood, I formed some pretty harsh opinions on certain situations. I, for instance, don't think everyone means well. I think there are some really evil people in this world. I can also be cold hearted in certain situations as that is how I was trained to cope with things With that said, I am also a humble person and when I make a mistake, I will correct that mistake, and apologize when I step out of line.<br />
<br />
Today, my mother and this guy are no longer together. She FINALLY got up the courage to leave him for good and move on with her life. But also, today, my relationship with my mother is very damaged. And it is, and has, taken a long time for me to even talk to her without getting upset at her.<br />
<br />
My final message to those who are "undecided" about leaving an abusive relationship, I want you to do this, if you have children, I want you to look at them, watch them, then think about my story about how I was forced to watch the horror of my own mother getting beat so badly she now has no teeth but wears dentures. Ask yourself "If I truly love my child(ren), is this what is best for them?" And if you do not have the strength to leave him, then please send your child(ren) away so they can live a happy childhood without having to face those kinds of fears of which I had to endure.</p>
Staff
2011-08-05T00:00:00Z
Talking About the Future Can Change a Relationship
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Talking-About-the-Future-Can-Change-a-Relationship/9988.html
2011-08-04T07:00:00Z
2011-08-04T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Hi Dr. Laura! <br />
<br />
I have been listening to you for quite some time, and some things you have said have completely changed my way of thinking...<br />
<br />
I was in day care when I was younger, and so I thought when I have children, I will just put them in day care so me and my husband (whoever it is that I end up marrying) can go to work during the day. But you have shown me that SAHM's have the hardest job of anyone, and it's so important for a child to have a parent be with them during the day. After listening to your opinions on this, I decided that when I have children, I will be a stay at home mom when I have children, NO QUESTIONS ASKED.<br />
<br />
I was starting to become serious with someone, and when the topic of the future and children was brought up, I told him how I would be a stay at home mom until my children were old enough to be enrolled in school. He did not agree, and basically refused to have his future wife staying at home rather than working.<br />
<br />
Long story short, we are no longer seeing each other, which is perfectly fine with me because I refuse to NOT be a SAHM!! And I'm glad it ended now before it was too late...just goes to show how important it is to be honest in a relationship up front about your point of views and how you want your future to be.<br />
<br />
Thanks Dr. Laura your advise really is life-changing <br />
<br />
-L.</p>
Staff
2011-08-04T07:00:00Z
Bill My Parents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bill-My-Parents/9985.html
2011-08-03T07:00:00Z
2011-08-03T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/letters.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>I heard you advertise for "Bill my Parents" today and think it's a brilliant idea (so is your "Bill my Constituents" take on America's current situation). I grew up listening to you when my mom used to drive me to school and have continued to listen to you as an adult. My husband and I were married a little over a year ago and are discussing how we are going to raise our future children. <br />
<br />
I think the Bill for Parents is an effective tool to allow children to learn the financial responsibility needed to begin life once out of the nest and will certainly discuss it with my husband. I agree a typical allowance provides too much indulgence, and requires no responsibility on the part of a teenager. My brother and I both attended prep school and our rigorous school schedule did not allow us time for a job during the academic year. We rose at 6, left by 7 (45 minute trip each way), attended class from 8-3, went to sports practice till 5:30, attended Saturday classes, as required of many New England prep schools, and participated in sports events Saturday afternoons. We spent our evenings and Sundays studying. Our only free time was Saturday evenings at which point we were too tired to get into trouble! My parents realized the importance of good study habits and told us our main job was to be successful students, so they looked at our report cards and provided monetary reimbursement based on our grades (A's worth a certain amount, B's half that, and nothing for a C or lower). My brother and I were both successful students, and are both starting families and are responsible for our own lives. I think the combination of these two philosophies (grades being a job and using "bill my parents" to monitor what children are spending money on) may just be the ticket for financially responsible young adults. I am emailing this to you with the hopes it may help other listeners as well. <br />
<br />
Thanks for keeping a level head on so many shoulders, especially mine! <br />
P.</p>
<p><br />
</p>
Staff
2011-08-03T07:00:00Z
That's What Mommies Are For
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thats-What-Mommies-Are-For/9982.html
2011-07-29T07:00:00Z
2011-07-29T07:00:00Z
<img class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura, <br /> <br /> I am writing in response to your <a href="/b/You-Dont-Need-Preschool-for-Your-Kids/9965.html">blog on preschool</a> and the <a href="/b/I-Am-Raising-a-Human-Being/9972.html">letter written in response. </a><br /> <br /> My daughter has a profound speech delay and is now four years old. She attends preschool two hours a day, four days a week, during the school year. It's a special education program run by a certified teacher. Dr. Laura, they have truly helped her speech delay, but I am still the one who has taught her colors, shapes, letters, numbers, counting, how to write her name, and is teaching her to read. <br /> <br /> Preschool is not the answer to socialization or education for young children. That's what mommies are for. If my daughter did not have a delay, she would never leave my presence. She loves school and her friends, but she misses me and is excited to get home. She wants to home school like my oldest son does and I tell her, maybe in first grade. We are hoping she will be done with speech therapy by then. <br /> <br /> My oldest son is extremely social and outgoing. I still home school him. He is not suited to the classroom. He is very intelligent, but lazy, and because a teacher cannot stand over him and insist on him getting is work done, he receives failing grades and tests years ahead of grade level. So I home school and he is performing ahead of grade level. Amazing, isn't it? <br /> <br /> The thing is, I could not do any of this, if I weren't home with my kids. How does one home school while working full time? You can't. I don't know how some kids survive daycare. Two of my kids wouldn't go near anyone but my husband, me and a few very close friends, for longer than their first year of life. I likely would never have caught on to how developmentally delayed they are, and my youngest has medical problems that would likely have gotten me fired f or absences, anyway. How do you accommodate who they are without profoundly altering them, if you are not there to see that they are allowed to become who they are supposed to be? (If that makes any sense.)<br /> <br /> Mine would truly suffer if I were not home with them, and I would not be here if it weren't for you. It would never have even occurred to me to be here with my kids, if my mother had not started us both listening to you, 15 years ago. So thank you Dr. Laura, because my amazing kids would not be so amazing if it weren't for you. <br /> <br /> K.</p>
Staff
2011-07-29T07:00:00Z
A Fateful Turning Point in My Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Fateful-Turning-Point-in-My-Life/9977.html
2011-07-28T07:00:00Z
2011-07-28T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Recently, Dr. Laura asked on Facebook.com/DrLaura: <em>What was a fateful turning point in your life? </em><br />
<br />
Dodi's Response: Fateful? Fateful? Eleven years ago I was in a dead end physical relationship auditioning to be somebody's wife. Your bitchy righteous attitude show was unfortunately the only thing I could get on my AM radio in the back room of my office. I was forced to listen to you telling people to quit whining about their current situations and do something about it, and forced to listen to your cutting-to-the-core truths about women who shack up and then lament their crappy boyfriends when they get pregnant and then their men leave for other women and leave them with a baby and no daddy... <br />
<br />
I listened to your relentless program, not by choice, yet after awhile I was unable to turn it off. It was like watching a train wreck and I was powerless to turn away -- because it was me you were talking about. And one day, after no longer being able to deny that everything you were saying described my loser boyfriend and surely my loser future, I just woke up. I stopped the physical relationship with him - made the decision overnight. No kidding. Resolved I would NOT get pregnant with this guy, who I would never be satisfied with. Realized there was a guy out there dying to meet me, dying to get married and have a good wife, a family, a stay at home mom - all the things I wanted to be - and I didn't care if I had to wait ten years to meet him. I had this feeling my real family, my husband, my kids, were somewhere out there in my future and I was going to change for them - whoever they were. So after six years, I ended it with this guy, kicked him out, and decided to take a break. <br />
<br />
I was talking about all this to a 55 year old co-worker and she encouraged me in my thinking. Later that year, I went on a friendly date with her son (an acquaintance) to the rodeo; ten years later we are a strong, faith-based married couple, with three fabulous kids. And though it's not easy, I've been home for all of their 8, 6, and 2 year old lives in our modest 1100 square foot ranch home. I run an at-home bakery, they go to a parochial school, and life could not be better. You, Dr. Laura, and your righteous painful truths reached my heart and turned me back to the person I wanted to be. So I tell anyone; quit whining. Take responsibility. Every day is a new day to make your own life. I always said someday I would send you my story. YOU were fatefully the only radio channel I could get in that back office. I changed my life inspired by your truths. There is no better fate in my life. Thank you - I hope this post reaches your eyes. You make a difference. Keep it up. I am sure I am not the only life you have changed.</p>
Staff
2011-07-28T07:00:00Z
A Couple of Hours a Day
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Couple-of-Hours-a-Day-/9975.html
2011-07-27T07:00:00Z
2011-07-27T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>To my compass, teacher and friend Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
I am sitting here at work listening to three new mothers in the break room talking with other women in the office. Sometimes the feminism in this place makes me nauseous. And as I am forced to listen in on their loud feminist conversation I had to email you my frustration. The three new mothers were sharing letters they've each received from their mothers. In these letters, their moms were expressing their disappointment in them for going back to work and placing their children in day care. After the 15 minute bashing on their "Molly Mormon" mothers, that's when the day care discussion began.<br />
<br />
I wasn't sure if you were aware of this, but apparently (according to these intellectual career women) children in day care have better social skills, better test scores and better behavior. And after they shared all the incredible scientific evidence supporting this (none) they finished off the discussion with "as if that's not enough evidence to show that a couple more hours a day with your kid just isn't beneficial."<br />
<br />
And as my head was about to explode. Just as I was about to march in there and give those women a piece of my mind...a picture of my mother popped in my head. A woman I have missed and wished was with me since she died when I was eleven years old. Then another thought. Thinking of my little baby sister who was only four when she died. Just think of the memories she must have of her. They were all within the first four years of her life. <br />
<br />
And these women are willing to throw a few "priceless" hours a day away that they could be spending with their children - all for a social life. A few hours a day that are now memories I and my siblings have of our mother. Memories their children won't have of their mothers. After all the anger of listening to their conversation, in the end, I am sad.<br />
<br />
J.</p>
Staff
2011-07-27T07:00:00Z
I Am Raising a Human Being
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Am-Raising-a-Human-Being/9972.html
2011-07-26T07:00:00Z
2011-07-26T07:00:00Z
<img class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" />
<p>BRAVO! - for your comments about preschool in your blog <a href="/b/You-Dont-Need-Preschool-for-Your-Kids/9965.html">You Don't Need Preschool for Your Kids</a><br /> <br /> I'm a mother of a 16 year old boy and a 10 year old girl. I'm also a teacher. I went back after my little girl was in 1st grade-same school, same hours, etc. I used to laugh when people would suggest I should go back to work and put my daughter in preschool. They would say stupid things like, "Don't you think she needs the social activity?" Um, yeah right. I would smile at the person, look them in the eye, and say, "Isn't that what a family is for?" Really, it's in your own family unit the child first feels safe and learns how to interact. <br /> <br /> My daughter was my "shadow" for years we went to the store, the bank, the cleaners, the dentist, etc-together. She learned how to say "please" and "thank you" by my example. She learned how to thank God for the food she has, how to plant flowers, how to treat the dog and the cat kindly, and how to love. She learned to be a good and kind person. Everyday we colored and read together. We visited the library and we rode our bikes. Sometimes, we went for coffee/juice at our local bagel store. When she started school, she knew all her letters, numbers and colors-more than a lot of the other kids who were in preschool. She continues to excel in school as does our son. <br /> <br /> When parents ask me about preschool, I always say I don't believe in it- and then I tell them to think about it. How would your child learn better: With 21 kids in a classroom with a couple of teachers and an aide… Or 1:1. Our education czars are always pushing for "smaller class size", unless you totally suck as a parent, isn't YOUR classroom way better than ANY other classroom? I have a friend who stayed home to rear her now grown, married, etc kids. Before I had my son she used to tell people when they would ask in a condescending manner "What do you DO?" She would answer, "I am raising a human being." That IS the definitive answer.<br /> <br /> Nancy</p>
Staff
2011-07-26T07:00:00Z
Our Marriage Was Doomed - Not Anymore
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-Marriage-Was-Doomed---Not-Anymore/9968.html
2011-07-25T07:00:00Z
2011-07-25T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
I just wanted to email and say a huge thank you for your book "Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage". I picked it up and read it and then passed it along to my wife. I have come home from work and found her with that book many evenings.<br />
<br />
We married 15 years ago and I proceeded to do everything I could to ruin it. We came to a point last summer where we both believed it was over. She had enough of my selfishness, stubbornness and general jerk nature and had tolerated it for a long time. <br />
<br />
Through the grace of God, a mirror was turned on me and I could see how horrible I acted for a LONG time. He broke me and forced me to my knees. I am forever grateful for that.<br />
<br />
We went to marriage counseling, a great Christian "weekend to remember" and were making slow progress, usually due to my recurrent behavior. That changed when I read your book. I sat in the bookstore and cried reading so many chapters (kind of odd, a 6'4", 245 pound man sitting in a bookstore chair with tears running down his face), but I was touched and enlightened. Since that time, about a month ago, we have both taken that book to heart. <br />
<br />
I now see what I was missing for those years. I cherish that woman like nothing else. I get up every morning and have a genuine desire to be everything she wants out of a husband. <br />
<br />
She has started doing things from the book (verbalizing her pride in me, thanking me for working so hard so she can be a stay at home mom) and it truly fills my cup. To know that I'm working for us and providing and that it's appreciated makes every work day almost..... painless?<br />
<br />
Thanks so much for your book and for making a mark on a marriage that, one year ago, was going down the tubes. I think we will both re-read the book often. <br />
<br />
Keep fighting the good fight...for family.<br />
<br />
Paul</p>
Staff
2011-07-25T07:00:00Z
I Am a Happy Daughter
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Am-a-Happy-Daughter/9962.html
2011-07-22T23:00:00Z
2011-07-22T23:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura, <br />
<br />
I am 14 years old and am a huge fan of your program. I wanted to thank you for all you do, because thanks to you I have an excellent mother. My parents are divorced. My father would explode into rages often and yell until my brother and I cried. Therefore, for obvious reasons, in order to protect my brother and me, we decided to leave. During the process of the divorce, while we still had to live with him, my father became very depressed. One day while my mother was at work he attempted suicide by overdosing on medication. With impeccable timing, my mother happened to return home just as he got in his car and tried to drive away. She called the police, and fortunately we lived one block from the station. The officers caught him just as he pulled out of the driveway. My mother probably saved his life, as well as possibly another driver's life that day.<br />
<br />
My father always made me feel unloved and unwanted, and made an effort to be overly critical and to make me feel bad for not being perfect. On the other hand, my mother always works hard to make sure I know how much she loves me. We have a close relationship, and she uses your advice to keep me in line when needed. Even now, she works nearly every day, helps my paraplegic grandmother, and goes to school to become a nurse, yet she still always has time to sit and talk to my brother and me, share stories about our days, attend school functions, have family board game nights, and to be an incredible mother. Even on days when she is worn out and has nothing left to give, she makes sure to remind us that being our mom is her favorite thing to do. As you can see, my mother is incredible. She has become both parents for my brother and me and raised us practically on her own, thanks to your guidance and good advice.<br />
<br />
When she first handed me a copy of your book,"10 Stupid Things Women do to Mess up Their Lives," I read it in order to make sure I am prepared for my future and don't "mess up my life." However, as I read it, I was astounded to realize I had heard many of these lessons already from my mom! I guess the reason she gave it to me was so I wouldn't fall into a trap and search for a daddy figure in the man I marry someday, and thanks to you and her I feel confident I will find a good husband who will make me and my future children feel loved, secure, safe, and happy. Thanks to you, Dr. Laura, I have my own Dr. Laura right here: my mom.<br />
<br />
We even have your talking doll, and we found a special Harley Motorcycle outfit, complete with helmet and leather jacket for it. We listen to your program by the hour through live streaming because we love hearing what you have to say. Thank you for all that you do, and I hope you have a wonderful day!<br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
<br />
Lisbeth</p>
<p><br />
</p>
Staff
2011-07-22T23:00:00Z
Diagnosis Fads and Trends
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Diagnosis-Fads-and-Trends/9958.html
2011-07-22T07:00:00Z
2011-07-22T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>I felt so compelled to respond to your comments on the current "trend" or "fad" of diagnosing "out of control kids" with Bipolar Disorder. You said (I am paraphrasing) it is far better for a kid who is acting out to go into FAMILY therapy than get on medication or individual counseling. I could not agree more.<br />
<br />
I worked in the community mental health system for 8 years before becoming a stay-at-home mom. My absolute favorite job for 5 of those years was as an in-home family therapist for kids and their families in crisis. Schools, other community programs, and psychiatrists could refer families to our program but there was always an "identified patient", a child who is acting out, to bring us into the home since the program was technically a "children's service."<br />
<br />
LET ME TELL YOU, 99.9% of the time the "out of control kid" (kid with a diagnosis) was the healthiest member of the family! Their acting out was just a SYMPTOM of a problem within the whole family system. Like when a bruise on your body throbs to let you know there is something wrong, these "bad kids" are running around throbbing.<br />
<br />
This family therapy program was so fascinating, we were brought into the home because little Johnny was out stealing in the community or acting out violently, or using alcohol/drugs. Family therapy would always reveal problems within the FAMILY UNIT (domestic violence, past trauma, bad parenting, etc.) Parents rarely ever wanted to look inward because they were so invested in the "symptom bearer" being the bad seed or the problem. But every now and then, we would get people who were willing to face the truth about their parenting and we made beautiful changes.<br />
<br />
I now make my contribution to society by staying home and raising my kids. I don't know if I would like to go back to community mental health later in life because the whole system is set up very poorly. There are sooooo many mothers who drop their little kids off for individual counseling for years on end! Family therapy should be mandated for these people who allow psychiatrists to label the kids and throw them on heavy duty meds.<br />
<br />
Even if crazy aliens came down from the sky, kidnapped a kid, and did some serious psychological damage to the kid in isolation of the family-it would still be best practice to put the child in FAMILY counseling not individual counseling because everyone still lives with some kind of family unit... No one exists in a vacuum!<br />
<br />
Dr. Laura, I know you already know all of this about family therapy but it wouldn't hurt for your listeners to hear it from someone who has spent years in the living rooms of the "bad kids" in the community. <br />
<br />
Thanks! <br />
<br />
Jaime<br />
<br />
P.S. "Surviving a Shark Attack on Land" is OUTSTANDING!</p>
Staff
2011-07-22T07:00:00Z
The Icing on the Cake
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Icing-on-the-Cake/9955.html
2011-07-20T07:00:00Z
2011-07-20T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
I have never written a letter to anyone like this. I can't stop thinking that I just need to let you know how I feel about two of your books: The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands, and In Praise of Stay-At-Home Moms.<br />
<br />
I could go on and on, but I will try to summarize as best I can while my precious 13-month-old daughter naps. I am an ophthalmologist. I spent my life working for my career, and I met my gift from heaven, my husband, in medical school. I was raised by nannies and day care, as my mother, also an ophthalmologist, worked to achieve money and social status. I was taught my worth was dependent on academic achievement, career, and financial independence, and I lived this every day. Medicine was natural for me because I love taking care of people - I just never knew why. <br />
<br />
As it turns out, this working woman who "didn't have time for kids", actually yearned for a baby, and that need became so strong that it finally won out. Our daughter was born during my third year of private practice - with my mother. We had a terrible relationship when I was young, but I decided to join her professionally because it seemed like a wonderful opportunity. My husband agreed to move here for me, and my mother and I became the first mother-daughter ophthalmology team.<br />
<br />
Then my daughter came. When I first laid eyes on my baby, I fell so deeply in love with her I have no words to describe it. I am crying as I type this. She changed us forever, and suddenly I dreaded returning to work, and repeating my mother's mistakes. The twelve weeks I spent home on maternity leave flew by, and even though the little voice inside me was telling me I wanted to stay home with my baby, I went back. I couldn't get past the thoughts of the patients who needed me (please - there are plenty of others who will happily accept care of my patients), and my staff (who are all still working at the practice now owned by someone else) and I put my family last. Well, I hired a nanny, and spent the next two months crying on my 45 minute commute each way to work. I envisioned my infant's little feet as I performed cataract surgery, and cried with our surgery center manager who told me how much she had loved being a SAHM to her girls. During this time my baby refused to nurse, and we had to bottle feed my pumped breast milk. <br />
<br />
Then one morning, as I collected my breast pump and other belongings to leave for work, I saw my precious baby propped up all alone on the couch, while my nanny walked into the kitchen to get something. My life stood still at that moment, as I realized that I would never again abandon my child. I fired the nanny that morning, quit my job, cancelled all my surgeries, and became a SAHM. Luckily, my husband was raised by a wonderful SAHM, so he fully appreciates the importance of mothering one's children, and he backed me 100%.<br />
<br />
The emotions I have experienced over the past year are indescribable. But I have never once regretted my decision, and I have never honestly even had a bad day with my daughter. I have never felt as though being a mom is difficult, I have never lost my patience, and I have no more stress. It's amazing! I feel like I was put on this Earth to take care of my family, and I have never been so happy, and so at peace with a decision - next to the decision to marry my husband. <br />
<br />
The icing on the cake, for me, was reading your books. Because I knew how to be a great mommy, but I now know how to be a great wife. The relationship between my husband and I improved the day I finished your books. We've always had a solid marriage, but there were definitely changes I needed to make, and I have made them. I have stopped nagging, stopped being a perfectionist, stopped complaining, and when he walks through the door after a very tough day at the hospital (he is a radiologist), we greet him with open arms. Thank you for allowing me to fully appreciate the gifts I have been given. And thank you for supporting SAHM's. I feel so sorry for so many of my friends, family members and colleagues who are missing out on their true calling in life. You just can't get this time back.<br />
<br />
Very truly yours,<br />
<br />
A.</p>
Staff
2011-07-20T07:00:00Z
Expectations of Children - How My Son Earned his New Coat
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Expectations-of-Children---How-My-Son-Earned-his-New-Coat/9951.html
2011-07-19T07:00:00Z
2011-07-19T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
I was listening to your show about family expectations of children. I listen to your podcasts and am a little behind in your show. I love you by the way!<br />
<br />
When my son was 10 yrs old, he wanted a football team 'starter jacket' which was all the rage in his school. Because my husband was laid-off at the time we were financially strapped. The coat cost $120.00. I told him I would give him $60.00 toward the coat (what it would cost at Kmart) since he did need a new one that year.<br />
<br />
I had an aloe plant that sent off a lot of baby plants. He asked if he could have the baby plants to sell. He potted up 15 plants, loaded them in his wagon and went off into the neighborhood. He came back with $15.00 and a big smile. After much brainstorming he decided to buy $15.00 worth of candy at wholesale (his friend's parents took him to the wholesale store - I didn't even have a car at the time). He went off on his bike to sell the candy, ringing a bell like the ice cream man and came back with $30.00. He re-invested the $30.00 into more candy, earned $60.00 and bought the coat. He learned several lessons from this event. He has the power to make things happen and name-brand things "just aren't worth it". <br />
<br />
He used this story for his college essay as the most important lesson in his life. He earned a scholarship. <br />
<br />
He is now 31 yrs old, has a master's degree and runs his own business as an acupuncturist. My daughter is 28 yrs old and is a registered nurse. Because we never had a lot of money my kids bought their own cars, paid for their insurance, paid their own cell phone bill and paid their way through college. They are now happy, secure, adult homeowners. I was a stay at home mom. I made money at home teaching kids to sew. We bought a large, used pool for the backyard because we couldn't afford vacations. My kids have both worked since age 12. I grew up poor and also worked from about age 12 (cleaning my aunt's house). The money I made gave me a feeling of power. I did not feel deprived. My husband sometimes felt guilty because of our situation but I knew it would not hurt our kids. They are strong and happy. They are proud of themselves and I am proud of them. We have a very close relationship.<br />
<br />
C.</p>
Staff
2011-07-19T07:00:00Z
Positive Efforts Pay Off!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Positive-Efforts-Pay-Off!/9928.html
2011-07-07T07:00:00Z
2011-07-07T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>My sweet husband and I have been married for almost 30 years. We look like the typical older couple with 4 kids, carrying a little extra weight, getting grey together. He's experienced hair loss and I have experienced loss of gravity on some of my body parts. To be sure we don't look sexy and hot to anyone else, but we love each other and are devotedly faithful and loyal to one another. I think he is handsome and he tells me all the time how beautiful I am to him.<br />
<br />
My husband has a healthy sexual appetite and I admit I haven't always felt like sharing a bountiful feast. The reality of demands of motherhood, struggling with depression, trying to find time to exercise every day, taking care of my aged, invalid mother for years, being a stay at home mom (which meant cooking from scratch and sewing my kids' clothes to make ends meet) have kept me tired most of the time. I have listened to your show for years and read some of your books. After reading The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands, I was a little irritated about the idea of being even more sexual than we already were. However, as the years have progressed, I definitely see our relationship bond even more tightly because of my positive efforts.<br />
<br />
I am telling you about this intimate part of my life because my husband gave me the highest praise a wife could receive from her husband and I wanted to share what he said. <br />
<br />
After an afternoon tryst in my husband's office, (behind a locked door, of course), he was holding me on his lap and stroking my hair. Quietly, he whispered in my ear "I have no need for fantasies. My memories and reality exceed any fantasies a man could ever have." I am weeping with joyful tears just typing this to you. Isn't that the most GORGEOUS thing to say to a sweetheart?<br />
<br />
I think if more women took to heart your advice from your book, they could experience the same kind of close, delicious bond in their marriage. It IS possible...all it takes is a positive and loving attitude.<br />
<br />
Thank you, Dr. Laura for encouraging wives to take care of their MAN. I bet the divorce rate of those who read your book and put the advice into action is MUCH lower than the national average.<br />
<br />
Liz</p>
Staff
2011-07-07T07:00:00Z
The Dirtiest Word We DON'T Use
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Dirtiest-Word-We-DONT-Use/9922.html
2011-07-06T07:00:00Z
2011-07-06T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p> </p>
<p>Your books saved my marriage and inspired this "rule" Dr. Laura, thank you. Thought you might be interested in my article. <br />
<br />
<strong>The Dirtiest Word We DON'T Use </strong><br />
<br />
I don't say "No" in bed. Morning, noon, night if my hubby wants it, he gets it. <br />
<br />
My husband and I have a "never say no" rule in our house (and in our truck, living room, backyard shed,...). As long as we have at least ten minutes of privacy, and one of us is in the mood, we get it on. <br />
<br />
Ok, I'm exaggerating. Sometimes it is tough to find alone time, and we respect each other's space if sick, upset, or got very little sleep the night before. But, for the most part, "no" is a dirty word.<br />
<br />
I'm sure some of you are thinking, "What if you don't feel like it?" Well, brace yourselves - we do it anyway! There are nights when one of us is amorous and the other is sleepy, cranky, or feeling gross but that sleepy, cranky, gross person still puts out. I'll tell you why:<br />
<br />
</p>
<blockquote class="webkit-indent-blockquote" style="border: none;margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 40px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px;">
<p>Sex feels awesome! I have yet to regret making love with my husband. It might take effort sometimes, but if I summon up a little enthusiasm, I'm always left smiling. Is there a better way to feel energized, happy and attractive? </p>
<p><br />
</p>
<p>We love each other. My man is my favorite person in the world. But between our schedules, daughter's needs and other mood-killers, there isn't always time to connect. So if he wants my attention for 20 minutes before we fall asleep, I'm happy to show him just how fantastic I think he is. Even when feeling less than romantic, nothing reminds us how lucky we are quicker than knocking boots.</p>
<p><br />
</p>
<p>It's a pick-me-up like no other. After 1.5 kids (I'm currently 20 weeks pregnant with our second ), and 7 years together, I sometimes wonder what about me still turns my husband's head. Seeing how much he enjoys my body erases all doubts. Bumpin' it with my Honey makes me feel loved, beautiful, appreciated, validated, important and safe in his strong arms. </p>
<p><br />
</p>
<p>It's hard to be angry at the person who just rocked your world. Sure, we still argue, but now our fights are fewer, further between, and lack the mad passion that used to have us raging at each other. All that craziness is worked out in the boudoir now. </p>
<p><br />
</p>
<p>It's cruel to withhold affection from someone who you are responsible to. There's no one else that I, or my husband, can go to with sexual needs, so it's pretty mean not to happily meet them for each other. If our daughter needed comforting we'd hug her no matter how tired shouldn't spouses treat each other the same way? </p>
<p><br />
</p>
<p>Sometimes, you just don't know how badly you're needed. My husband's a Firefighter / EMT. His "bad days" are BAD, and he often keeps them to himself. On those days when he looks hell in the eyes and needs some TLC from the woman he'd die for, I won't risk being "not in the mood." </p>
<p><br />
</p>
<p>Rejection hurts! The only thing worse than being rejected? Being rejected while naked. Ouch.</p>
<p><br />
</p>
<p>For the times when "I love you" won't do. My husband isn't so good with the words; never has been, never will be. But his actions tell me loud and clear how much he adores me, and when his hands do the talking… well, who needs Shakespeare?</p>
</blockquote>
<p ><br />
Of course, there's more to our relationship than sex; but when we're busy getting busy, everything else seems to fall into place a little neater. Some may think our "rule" is overly simplistic, insensitive, or even oppressive, but I sure don't feel oppressed. In fact, I feel pretty darn satisfied.<br />
<br />
Here it is on <a href="http://youngmum-katiemul.blogspot.com/2011/06/dirtiest-word-we-dont-use.html" target="_blank"><strong>my blog</strong></a>.</p>
Staff
2011-07-06T07:00:00Z
Joining the Military
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Joining-the-Military/9919.html
2011-07-05T07:00:00Z
2011-07-05T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" /> <p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I just listened to the call with the mother who was upset about her son's desire to join the military. I so appreciated what you had to say to that mother who was struggling with her fears, as I know you struggle with your own.<br /><br />The reason I am writing to you today is because in 2004 my son, Aaron enlisted in the Army with a MOS of 18x, Special Forces. I was surprised when his recruiter insisted on meeting with me before he signed the enlistment papers. My son was 18 years old and I believed he had the right to make his own decisions, but I went anyway because my son insisted. I was so proud to watch him interact with the recruiters, and even prouder when I watched him graduate basic and two years later receive his Green Beret. I knew the risks of his job, but I was also amazed at the man he became when he joined the military.<br /><br />You may not remember, but my husband called your show about this same young man. Aaron had been caught driving our car before he had his license. Because of his actions, we did not allow him to get his license for another year. At that time, I was very concerned about the type of person he would turn out to be when he was turned loose on the world after high school.<br /><br />Although I already knew what a fine young man he turned out to be, it was confirmed for me when I attended his memorial service at Fort Bragg this past week. Aaron was killed in action on May 29th when he was on a mission. He was the first Special Forces Dog Handler to be killed in action. Aaron told me how dangerous his new assignment was, and he had reservations about his deployment to Afghanistan. He told me this in April while I was visiting to celebrate the birth of my first grandchild.<br /><br />A part of me wanted to tell him not to go - to find a way to stay home with his son. But I didn't do it - I did not want my fears to become his fears. Aaron deployed on May 1st when his son was five weeks old. He never considered turning back. He talked to his wife and son nearly every day on Skype. <br /><br />I am so proud of my son and what he accomplished in his 25 years on Earth. He could have done so many things had he lived, but I have to focus on what he did while he was here. He proudly served his country. He married a wonderful North Carolina girl (he is from California), and together they have given me an amazing grandson.<br /><br />Please keep encouraging honorable men and women to serve our country. We need people who will stand up for what is right. I love my son and I did not want him to die, but if he had to die, I am thankful that it was in the pursuit of a noble cause.<br /><br />Thank you for what you do.<br /><br />Gratefully,<br /><br />Bobbi <br /></p>
Staff
2011-07-05T07:00:00Z
A Future Military Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Future-Military-Mom/9912.html
2011-06-30T07:00:00Z
2011-06-30T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
I know you get many emails like mine everyday so I hope today and everyday, you are reminded all our messages come from a pure and genuine place of immeasurable gratitude…<br />
<br />
I've listened to you for many, many, many years - and I can't begin to describe the influence you have had on my life. It's almost a game listening to you now - I predict your advice to callers - not so I can pat myself on the back when I'm (always) right (haha!) - but so I can continue building my confidence and decision-making abilities for myself and my family.<br />
<br />
I just listened online to the call you had with Cathy from 6.24.11 about the frustrations she has in wanting the "best" life for her son - a son who has told her he wants to enlist in the military. With tears streaming down my face, I remembered the moment my son - my brave 11 year old little man - told me about his hopes of being an officer one day. God bless my boy, he was so gentle with me. He didn't TELL me what his dream was, he asked how I would "feel" about it. <br />
<br />
I was driving at the time, and he was sitting behind me. My daughter (13), was also in the backseat and she could see me through the rear-view mirror - I saw her smiling.<br />
<br />
I said the quickest prayer to my faithful God for wisdom, tapped into my "Dr. Laura no-nonsense" file cabinet, and told my son this:<br />
<br />
"I am not surprised and I would be so crazy proud of you. I've always known you had the courage of Daniel, the faith of Peter, and a heart like Christ himself... I was just waiting to see when you would realize this for yourself."<br />
<br />
Dr. Laura, I am a single mom. I have made many mistakes. You even told me one time I had every right to kick myself for those mistakes, but it is NOT right to KEEP kicking myself for those mistakes. I have to do what I can, with what I have, to build the best life possible for my kids. I think this conversation with my son is proof I have -finally- been able to do that. <br />
<br />
I am sure there will come a day I will have to send my son off to somewhere I don't want him to go. I will cry. I will worry. BUT, he will know mine are not tears of sadness, they are tears of joy that he has become a MAN of honor and courage, and while I might worry for his physical safety, he will know there is no one on this planet more proud of him than his mommy.<br />
<br />
Thank you Dr. Laura - for your boldness, courage, and endurance - after all these years. Some of us have the same disgust you have with the kinds of decisions our society as a whole is making, and we are really trying to turn things around…not just for our own families now, but for every generation that will come after us.<br />
<br />
May God continue to bless you and keep your son in His protective hands.<br />
<br />
Sonia</p>
Staff
2011-06-30T07:00:00Z
What Issues with Drinking Did I Have as a Teen?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Issues-with-Drinking-Did-I-Have-as-a-Teen/9904.html
2011-06-29T07:00:00Z
2011-06-29T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/blog.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />You asked us: What issues with drinking did you have as a teen? My answer: Absolutely none.<br />
<br />
I was raised in a household where liquor was never in the house. I have no clear recollections of my dad ever drinking while my mother will occasionally have a Bailey's & Coffee when out for special occasions. I had tried alcohol a time or two before under parental supervision (Mudslides were made at a family BBQ) but aside from that I never imbibed.<br />
<br />
My parents made it clear what behavior they expected from me. Under no circumstances would smoking, drinking alcohol or using drugs every be tolerated. In fact, my parents had always told me their expectations of me no matter the age. They actually parented if you believe it or not.<br />
<br />
You may wonder why I'm writing… I'm writing in defiance of those out there who say "kids are going to drink anyway, so I may as well provide it" or other such ridiculous things. I stood firm in my decision to not drink as an underage teen. I liked it when my peers attempted to make fun of me at parties and I got to make little retorts about all the reasons I abstained from alcohol, making them feel foolish (you always have the upper hand in an argument when the other person slurs their words). I never had to wake up the next morning wondering what happened the night before, I never had to worry about my safety as I was always the designated driver and I never had to worry about date rape because I was always in control. Unfortunately this wasn't the case for many of my friends.<br />
<br />
I watched my friends experience abortions, car accidents and fights that resulted in lost friends or partners because of alcohol. But because I had parents who raised me correctly, were persistent in telling me what they expected and above all told me to ALWAYS be comfortable with who I am and the morals I have these "teen drinking issues" were only observances, not experiences. And I thank them for that.<br />
<br />
Vanessa
Staff
2011-06-29T07:00:00Z
Bipolar is a Disability?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bipolar-is-a-Disability/9901.html
2011-06-28T07:00:00Z
2011-06-28T07:00:00Z
<img class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura, <br /> <br /> I was moved to write you after reading your email of the day concerning <a href="/b/Bipolar-Disorder-in-Children/9883.html">diagnosing kids with bipolar disorder</a>. I am sickened by the drugging that is going on in my own small town. I have two small family members who are so drugged out their little minds are never going to be the same, all because their mother gets a check from the state for their "disability". I know at least 10 families or more in our tiny town who have children on "corrective behavioral drugs" because their parents GET A CHECK from the state for their "disability." <br /> <br /> I was standing in my backyard with two children from our neighborhood who had come over to play with my children. The 8 year old, who was holding her 3 year old little sister, said to me, "You know, I'm bipolar, but I don't show it to people. My mom says it makes people think I'm mean... (she then went on to say).. and my sissy is bipolar, but she doesn't show it to people cause mommy says people will think she is mean." Her "MOTHER," I use that term loosely, tells them they are bipolar. Why? Say it with me now, all together, BECAUSE SHE GETS A CHECK FROM THE STATE for their "DISABILITIES! It's disgusting. I went inside and cried. Then, I bear hugged my two kids, who are the brightest, most brilliant, beautiful girls on the planet (and I tell them that every day)... and I told them how much I loved them. And, guess what, if the state calls and offers me money, even a million dollars to say my kids are "disabled" well, I guess I will stay broke.</p>
Staff
2011-06-28T07:00:00Z
The Bridge - A Story of Personal Responsibility
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Bridge---A-Story-of-Personal-Responsibility/9896.html
2011-06-27T07:00:00Z
2011-06-27T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Evelyn sent in Edwin H. Friedman's short story, <a href="http://www.thecruxmovie.com/pdf/TheBridgeShortStory.pdf" target="_blank">'The Bridge'</a> from "Friedman's Fables." It is a powerful story about enabling and personal responsibilty.<br />
<br />
<br />
</p>
<blockquote class="webkit-indent-blockquote" style="border: none; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 40px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px;">
<p>"There was a man who had given much thought to what he wanted from life. He had experienced many moods and trials. He had experimented with different ways of living, and he had had his share of both success and failure. At last, he began to see clearly where he wanted to go. Diligently, he searched for the right opportunity. Sometimes he came close, only to be pushed away. Often he applied all his strength and imagination, only to find the path hopelessly blocked.</p>
<p><br />
</p>
<p>And then at last it came. But the opportunity would not wait. It would be made available only</p>
<p>for a short time. If it were seen that he was not committed, the opportunity would not come</p>
<p>again..."<br />
<br />
</p>
</blockquote>
<p><strong>Read the rest of <a href="http://www.thecruxmovie.com/pdf/TheBridgeShortStory.pdf" target="_blank">'The Bridge'</a></strong></p>
Staff
2011-06-27T07:00:00Z
I Failed My Son, But He Didn't Fail His Friend
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Failed-My-Son,-But-He-Didnt-Fail-His-Friend/9890.html
2011-06-24T07:00:00Z
2011-06-24T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
An amazing thing happened last weekend. My son, who just turned 10 in April, was invited to a birthday/pool party with a bunch of his friends. There was approximately 16 boys his age there, plus many parents. Unfortunately, I was not there, which as you'll hear, will NEVER be the situation again. My son noticed one of his good buddies struggling in the water and jumped in to help him. His friend was literally drowning and was rightfully panicked, so in the process of my son trying to save him, he was being drowned himself. My son told me he knew at that moment either he or his friend, or both, were going to die. With tears in his eyes, as he told me this, he said, "Mom, I had to get away from him to catch my breath, but I only left for like 3 seconds "..Ugh, he was struggling with guilt by leaving his buddy to drown. Then he told me as soon as he caught his breath, he swam back to his friend and shoved him as hard as he could until he was in the shallow end. Thankfully, they were both ok, very shaken up, but physically ok. Naturally, as I was hearing this story on my way home from the party, I was overwhelmed by many, many things. Relief, my son was ok. Anger, because where were the adults? Guilt, because I wasn't there. Sadness, my son had to go through such a traumatizing event. But even more than those, pride, at my son's courage and quick thinking. Upon further questioning of the situation, I asked him why he swam back to his friend when he was almost drowned himself and this is what he told me, "I would give my life in order to save his." He said this without any thought or pause! Yes, this is where I could no longer hold back my tears. Words cannot truly express properly how special my son is! He is a hero and this world is extremely lucky to have him. I am extremely lucky to have him!! <br />
<br />
Obviously, I spoke with the mom who hosted the party and to make a long conversation short, there was an adult there who did witness my son and his friend in the water, but did not realize it was for real until he saw my son shove this boy into the shallow end. At that point (which was WAY too late), he realized it was serious. Apparently, this other boy does not know how to swim and was too embarrassed to tell anyone. (His mother was not there also.) There are MANY MANY things wrong with all of the details of this situation and I can sit and point fingers all day long, but the bottom-line is I failed my son. I was not there to supervise and assumed the kids would be monitored more closely. I made a very critical mistake that luckily, I am able to walk away from and say it was a learning moment I will NEVER repeat. So many parents drop their children off at pool parties without hesitation and make the same assumptions as I did, but I'm here to remind them it only takes one second and I guarantee, no one watches a kid better, than their own parent!! I will never forget that!<br />
<br />
Sincerely one proud mom,<br />
<br />
Shelly</p>
Staff
2011-06-24T07:00:00Z
Leaving Early Childhood Education
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Leaving-Early-Childhood-Education/9886.html
2011-06-23T07:00:00Z
2011-06-23T07:00:00Z
<img class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" />
<p>I'm so glad to read the e-mail of the day: <a href="/b/No-More-a-Proponent-of-Day-Care-or-Preschool/7694.html">No More a Proponent of Day Care or Preschool</a><br /> <br /> When I returned to college several years ago at age twenty six, I sat down with a counselor to help me choose a major. She noted I had several ECE (Early Childhood Education) courses and recommended I focus towards a degree in the ECE industry, so I did. <br /> <br /> Three years later, I have many years of training and education in the ECE field and continue to major in ECE for a BA degree. Last fall I accepted my first Preschool teaching position. It was at a large scale Montessori curriculum based school. I was given the two year old class. I was shocked . . . What a joke trying to conceptualize Montessori techniques with two year olds (not developmentally appropriate/huge lack of socialization skill emphasis). I was instructed to re-do the classroom but not supplied with a materials budget. I was expected to pay for my own TB test, finger prints - $100.00, and to attend several Nevada required child workers' courses which were located fifty miles away, and I often had to purchase the classes out of pocket. Then I received my paycheck. Shockingly I was earning Nevada minimum wage. I made triple this waiting tables in diners. Not only was I underpaid but I had eight to twelve little toddlers in my care who all required a diaper changing every two hours. Do the math: twelve kids, every two hours for eight hours. I was changing up to forty eight diapers each day. As much as I cared for the children, its hard not to resent wiping ass methodically for minimum wage after all my years of school work, and experience. I was taught a diaper change is an opportunity to bond with a small child, it should be sweet and loving, not resented. Day cares and preschools, and day cares that disguise themselves as preschools are wrong. The industry needs to stop treating childcare with a for profit approach. The ones who suffer are the kids, and the employees. <br /> <br /> After a month and a half, I woke up one morning and simply did not go back. It was turning my soul black. I immediately called an old employer who gave me a job as a Children's Ski School Coordinator, which made more than twice the "teaching" position. I also called my college and had my major changed to a Social Science degree. I want to get into government and advocate for children. I hope to never work in another day care/preschool again.<br /> <br /> L.</p>
Staff
2011-06-23T07:00:00Z
Bipolar Disorder in Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bipolar-Disorder-in-Children/9883.html
2011-06-22T07:00:00Z
2011-06-22T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>My Dearest Dr Laura,<br />
<br />
I am so happy you have brought up the subject of over diagnosing bipolar disorder in children. I am not a mental health or child expert in any way, but I did coach youth sports for 20 years and volunteered in my son's schools and still work with teachers and children involved with the Science Olympiad. Here are my unscientific and non-expert observations:<br />
<br />
1. Many parents expect their children to be fashion accessories similar to a purse.<br />
<br />
2. Many parents wish to medicate (drug) their children rather than work to instill discipline and create a safe structured environment that promotes growth.<br />
<br />
3. Schools get much more money for a "disabled" student than they do for "non-disabled" students. If they can list Johnny as having a disorder that can mean an extra $10,000.<br />
<br />
4. Teachers need to have good behavior from students. Since students are not taught this at home, they turn to zombie drugs like Ritalin.<br />
<br />
5. This applies to adults as well as children. People expect to be happy, perky, warm fuzzy 100% of the time. If they are not, then there is something wrong. There is something wrong with you if you get angry. These things all used to be part of normal life and you dealt with them.<br />
<br />
My mother really is bipolar and my life growing up was Hell on Earth. When she would take her meds, life improved to being just bad. Then she would think she was fine and the meds would go in the trash and we were back in Hell. I really believe this is a real disorder and children can have it, but I believe many are being diagnosed for one or all of the 5 above reasons. I also believe this prevents people like my mother from getting the help they really need.<br />
<br />
Thanks again Dr Laura.<br />
<br />
S.</p>
Staff
2011-06-22T07:00:00Z
My Father's Day Letter
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Fathers-Day-Letter/9880.html
2011-06-21T07:00:00Z
2011-06-21T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
The following is a letter my daughter wrote me for Father's Day. It was folded up in the card she gave me.<br />
<br />
F = Friend<br />
A = Adventurous<br />
T = Tough when need be<br />
H = Hard worker<br />
E = Encourager<br />
R = Resourceful<br />
<br />
Growing up my birth father was around but not the way a father should be. Rather than being there for me, he chose to drink and be violent. Never having a tender hand or arms to crawl up in and feel safe. I constantly lived in fear of my birth father. Now he is sick and dying and life is giving him back what he gave me.<br />
<br />
The man I now call my father is an amazing father. He has been here for me as a father should be. Tough when he needs to be but also has tender hands and arms to crawl into and feel safe. He supports me in decisions I make. Some of them are not the best, but when I fall from making that choice he is right there to pick me up and help me get going again.<br />
<br />
Through many of my health problems he has helped me out and helped take care of me even at times when keeping me down was called for.<br />
<br />
The Lord has blessed me with an amazing father. One who is here and I don't have to fear everyday. I love you, Dad.<br />
<br />
Happy Father's Day.<br />
<br />
----<br />
My wife and I had been talking about adoption when our older two children had moved out and our youngest now a teenager was still at home. That plan was put on hold due to a financial crisis created by being unemployed through downsizing and corporate cost cutting. We prayed somehow our dream would be made real even though the money was not there at the time. A young lady close to our older daughter's age who had been talking on a regular basis with my wife shared she was soon to be homeless. We offered her a room with her own bed in our house. Over time she shared with us her past, the good and the bad. She recently chose to change her last name to our last time and even wants to amend her birth certificate to completely break away the emotional ties of the past. She is such a blessing to have her here with us and I am so very proud to have her as a daughter.<br />
<br />
Sperm and an egg together form the building blocks of a human being just as nails, wood, brick and mortar together build a house but only unconditional love, forgiveness and compassion can make a family and home.<br />
<br />
R. </p>
Staff
2011-06-21T07:00:00Z
Honorable Grandpa, Honorable Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Honorable-Grandpa,-Honorable-Dad/9876.html
2011-06-20T07:00:00Z
2011-06-20T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura:<br />
<br />
Yesterday, we had my parents, one of my sisters and some of my husband's family over to celebrate Father's Day. During dinner, I thought it would be fun for each of us to share a special memory of our dear old dads - those with us and those long departed. <br />
<br />
My dad went first - he described how his father was a tender-hearted man who struggled in life. Despite his struggles in making a living, my father cannot remember his father ever raising his voice. He married my grandmother and raised four generous, funny, gentle men who all served their country and worked hard for their families. Dad used words such as "character", "integrity", "upstanding", "gentle", and "steadfast" to describe his father. <br />
<br />
My sister and I both boasted of my dad coming in at bedtime every night and saying prayers aloud with us. He would then kiss each of us girls goodnight (3 of us shared a room for a while) and move on to our other siblings' rooms to do the same. Dad taught me how to ride a bike and gave to me a sense of wanderlust and exploration - always wanting to learn. He came home for dinner with the family every night and mom cooked dinner. He has always told each of his daughters how beautiful we are...so important for girls to hear from the first man in their lives. Lots of wonderful memories with my dad.<br />
<br />
As we went to the others at the table and I heard their memories, I felt sad. My husband couldn't think of anything to say except that his dad was strict. No special outings, no special treats, no tucking into bed. His father was unfaithful to his mom repeatedly and they eventually divorced when my husband was ten. My step-daughter told two silly stories about her dad, my husband. He has been in her life, but only at arm's length since she was just a small child. Her dad has not been her daddy, but more like an uncle visiting in and out of her childhood. My mother in law recalled she was lucky to go to a girls' boarding school to avoid her own father's "beatings' and beat-downs as he was a stern man. Even my own mom's recollections of her father tended to be somewhat aloof. He was very intellectual, worked a lot and was good at golf. Hmmm.<br />
<br />
I almost regretted bringing up the topic except I was able to see the connection between my paternal grandfather's model of a good man and my father's similar excellent character. Thank God that for our family, this apple, my wonderful dad, didn't fall far from the tree!<br />
<br />
Thanks for all you do, Dr. Laura.<br />
<br />
C.</p>
Staff
2011-06-20T07:00:00Z
I Like Men!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Like-Men!/9873.html
2011-06-17T07:00:00Z
2011-06-17T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
Here is something I wrote about men and I hope you can enjoy it before Father's Day. Too much of the subtext of our life pokes fun at the expense of men. What a pity - they are so much fun!<br />
<br />
<strong>I Like Men</strong><br />
<br />
I like men. The first question I will answer is, yes, I'm a woman and admitting I like men isn't an earth shattering revelation. Even though it's tempting to explain this statement away by nature, that explanation does not do justice to the why and how I like men. And from what I've seen and heard, not every woman likes men.<br />
<br />
Someone told me once if something happened to her husband she would never want another one. How sad I thought. But I would never want another one either... I would want at least two! <br />
<br />
I love watching my sons at Scouts. They run around and play with express ions of wild delight mixed with terror when they are in danger of being caught in the game. I am so grateful for my husband and the other men who create that energetic space for young boys. It is a privilege for me to occasionally be a witness but never a participant. If I were their leader they would all have their shoes tied properly, warm sweaters and they would walk, not run. <br />
<br />
When I was in a student council office at university, a group of male students spoke about their sports injuries. Around the room the stories spiraled, each one potentially gorier than the previous one until one young man stated solemnly, "Rips and tears are manlier than breaks." I realized at that moment I was not going to be a mom who took away her son's stories. <br />
<br />
Today my husband has been showing me how much he loves me by mowing the lawn and doing various household fixes. I've discovered the more manly and potentially dangerous an appliance, the greater a chance it will be used. What man would chose a Swiffer over a shop vacuum? How many men will grill slabs of meat over hot coals and potentially exploding grease but rarely boil an egg? It also helps to say machine or tool, not appliance. Women buy appliances. Men use machines.<br />
<br />
I admit I have never changed a tire and I don't hold doors so men can walk through before me... unless they are escorting an elderly grandparent or fractious young child. I appreciate when the door is held open, the chair is pulled out for me or a gentleman stands to greet me. Every small courtesy builds my case for men.<br />
<br />
I am not naïve. I have had encounters with men who were clearly less than gentlemen. But I have to thank my father for being a gentleman and a loving father. Anything less than the standard my father set I gave a very wide berth. My sister and I discussed how we like men and we assume they will like us. How can you not like them? They are so endlessly fascinating and fun.<br />
<br />
One of our friends dropped by while my husband was using the shop vacuum and according to my husband, being seen using a shop vacuum is cool. I hugged my husband with a big affectionate smile. He grinned at me and said "I like my shop vac." Yep, that's one more reason to like men.<br />
<br />
Cheers,<br />
<br />
Mary</p>
Staff
2011-06-17T07:00:00Z
Sitting on my Shoulder
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sitting-on-my-Shoulder/9870.html
2011-06-16T07:00:00Z
2011-06-16T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
Last weekend I did something I should have done years ago, but had felt too afraid and intimidated to do. I finally got up my nerve after years of listening to you and coming to the realization my lack of action was hurting my husband deeply. <br />
<br />
What did I do? I figuratively put myself between my father and my husband, both very strong MEN, but who have never gotten along together. Over the years my father made sure to let my husband know what he thought was wrong with him (personal preference stuff, nothing immoral, amoral, or evil), in his usual aggressive manner. In deference to me, my husband just let it go and endured the chastising, even though it bothered him a lot. Over the years I have been the kind of weenie you hate... wanting to keep the peace and not make waves with my father who had been a strict disciplinarian and a very controlling father of five. I am the oldest which probably explains a lot. (I could fill a book on the psychology of both men, my relationships with them both, and they with each other, but will not bore you!)<br />
<br />
The last straw for me was this past Mother's Day when my father ambushed my husband before he even entered the house to let him know about his most recent "infractions". Something snapped in me, and I knew it was time for me to speak up. It took a few weeks to have the right opportunity but last Saturday I finally let him know his behavior was not acceptable any more, it had to stop right now, and I was now between the two of them. Surprisingly, the backlash I always expected never happened and he agreed and gave up with barely a whimper. (Was he waiting for this all these years? I don't know.)<br />
<br />
The best side effect, even better than my feeling of liberation, was the effect this had on my husband. The underlying current of resentment he had been feeling disappeared and although he would have swum through shark infested waters all these years for me, since last Saturday he would now do it with joy and happiness. His demeanor to me has turned 180 degrees giving me all the insight I need into how my inaction has hurt him all these years. By not standing up to my father, I realize now I was condoning his opinions in my husband's eyes and heart. I only hope in the next 40 years I can make up for the last 40.<br />
<br />
Thank you Dr. Laura, not only for giving me the insights I needed but also for the morale support you were unwittingly giving me. Whenever I felt my resolution waver as I contemplated the encounter with my father for those 3 weeks, I told myself you would be there with me in spirit. You were giving me the courage to stand up for my husband and for myself and to do the right thing.<br />
<br />
(please no names)<br />
<br />
FYI, my husband and I met as teenagers and have been married 38+ years.</p>
Staff
2011-06-16T07:00:00Z
Abortion and Fatherhood
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Abortion-and-Fatherhood/9867.html
2011-06-15T07:00:00Z
2011-06-15T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
This is regarding your recent opening commentary about fathers having no say regarding the abortion of their child -- even those fathers who are married to the mothers. That show really hit home hard. <br />
<br />
My wife had an abortion 14 years ago. I asked her not to have it done. I know she regrets it now, but the damage has been done. We have 4 children who are now adults, and it takes me to my lowest low to know there should have been another. It easily brings me to tears when I look at our 4 wonderful human beings we created through the grace of God. I have guilt I did not do enough to protect my unborn child. I wish I grabbed that Dr. by the throat and slapped him around a few times, then we would have been thrown out of the office. Perhaps I would have had some business with the police, but my child would be here right now. That would have been the right thing to do. I am so ashamed. My guilt is overbearing at times and the despair is deep. I have written letters to my unborn child telling them there is a Daddy here who loves you so much and misses you. I am starting to cry as I write you. <br />
<br />
I hope perhaps some women considering killing that person, in her womb really thinks about it and could feel my constant grief. My wife can't understand why I will not have sex with her. It has been 14 years and she is divorcing me. There is no way to fix this. I grieve my unborn child every day of my life. Abortion is murder, make no mistake. On the bright side the Dr. who did the abortion died @ 60. I bet it is hot in hell.<br />
<br />
R. </p>
Staff
2011-06-15T07:00:00Z
To my Dad - Angry People vs. Choice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/To-my-Dad---Angry-People-vs.-Choice/9860.html
2011-06-14T07:00:00Z
2011-06-14T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Greetings Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
I was honored to be email of the day in April and even talked with Kimberly briefly. I have listened to you for many years and you have shaped my life by making me think about choices and consequences. I am a licensed therapist and have passed on some of that wisdom learned so others may make their choices, before experiencing the consequences. <br />
<br />
I wanted to share with you something I shared with my Dad who is about to go through a nasty divorce after 33 years. <br />
<br />
My dad sent me a Facebook note from my 20 year old brother who called my dad a coward for wanting to review the relationship and decide if he wants to be in it anymore as his needs are not being met. In my response to my Dad, I shared some important insights that may be helpful to others. <br />
<br />
My response:<br />
<br />
I hid posts from ______ (Brother) a while ago due to his disturbing rants and negative posts. Looks like at some point he decided to block me all together or deleted his account as he isn't showing up on Facebook lists. I didn't even notice until I looked him up just now via prompting from your note. Like ____(dad's wife), he chooses anger to express himself and will have a very difficult and isolated life. As he ages, anger works less and less for controlling people and situations. <br />
<br />
As others grow up they just start avoiding angry people. The irony is that angry people always push others away and attack while having their hand out... palm up. His choice. His responsibility. His consequences. <br />
<br />
If they do it with you, they will do it to you. <br />
Simply put... it is now just your turn.<br />
<br />
I look forward to hearing about the places you've been and adventures you have explored while you decide your next steps to protect and heal yourself. It is imperative you do both. <br />
<br />
I have found in my short years it all boils down to<br />
1) Can this be fixed?<br />
2) Do you want to fix it?<br />
People spend years in "therapy" avoiding those two concepts with window dressing and dramatics.<br />
<br />
Combinations of those answers lead to different paths. <br />
<br />
When I had my 50/50 waiting on the biopsy I decided negative people just aren't going to be in my life anymore. I don't have the strength, energy or interest. I literally almost didn't have time. <br />
<br />
I downplayed the situation at the time and looking back that was a mistake as I was trying to protect people from what was really going on. I didn't need to be alone in my fears. As for negative people, they will never be happy, just vampires with take, take, take, me, me, me, philosophies. The years I have left will be spent having a good life. Without them.<br />
<br />
Like before, it's now your turn. Your choice, your responsibility, your consequences. <br />
And that doesn't mean you have to do it alone. Alone is absolutely a choice too. <br />
<br />
Love you<br />
<br />
David<br />
<br />
===<br />
<br />
Thanks for all you do and support over the years. <br />
You have made a difference in people's lives and that is true immortality. <br />
<br />
Best regards, <br />
<br />
David</p>
Staff
2011-06-14T07:00:00Z
A Flood of Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Flood-of-Love/9857.html
2011-06-13T07:00:00Z
2011-06-13T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dr. Schlessinger,<br />
<br />
Thank you for your books that have encouraged me to start a winning marriage and begin to build a foundation which will last through the years. After only 3 months of marriage my husband has told me he is living the dream, he is the luckiest man alive, he says he has the best wife that ever walked the face of the earth. WOW! He has told me he never thought marriage would be so wonderful, so beautiful and that anyone could love him like I do. He pledges his love and life to me every day. <br />
<br />
I wanted my marriage to have a "perfect start" and so I bought your books, on "The Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage and Husbands"... I am learning ahead, I am learning from other's mistakes, I am learning how to avoid the traps and pitfalls, and it all starts with my thoughts (which most like to call "feelings"), I am learning to love beyond which I ever knew possible and I am receiving a flood of love back and I think I will just stay here and drown in it!! <br />
<br />
Thank you so much for giving us the best start and a glimpse of great things in our marriage. Each day I don't think it could better and yet it somehow does. <br />
<br />
Thank you from both of us!<br />
<br />
Tabitha</p>
Staff
2011-06-13T07:00:00Z
Worrying About the Important Things
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Worrying-About-the-Important-Things/9854.html
2011-06-10T07:00:00Z
2011-06-10T07:00:00Z
<img class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br /> <br /> I was so touched by <a href="/b/Moments-to-Remember/7697.html">Kathleen's e-mail </a>about their 6 children, and worrying about the really important things in their future...whom they will marry, for instance. I thought about those decisions, too, with our 3 sons. We prayed a lot!! Some years back, I dreamed about having a baby again, and nursing him, so close and warm and loving, his little hand pressing against my breast, the smell of his skin, and humming a little tune as he nursed. I woke up crying, realizing since I'd had a partial hysterectomy, there would be no more babies to nurse.<br /> <br /> Now, in their 50's, thank God, the two who are married chose wisely, and with their wives are amazing parents to their children, combined, 12 and counting. They have said what they learned from their Dad...how to enjoy life, but they have never mentioned what they learned from me, and I'm too bashful (and afraid) to ask. Their Dad taught them so much more...deep trust in Jesus Christ, integrity, doing a job well, standing up for what's right, being kind and loving, and a clean, appropriate, clever British sense of humor that can put us all on the floor, laughing uncontrollably.<br /> <br /> I am so blessed...<br /> <br /> God bless you. Keep up the good work!<br /> <br /> R.<br /> Widow of WWII Air Force Veteran<br /> Mother of 3 sons<br /> Grandmother of 12 and counting<br /> Retired Public School Teacher, 28 years AFTER the boys were grown!</p>
Staff
2011-06-10T07:00:00Z
Family Things Remembered
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Family-Things-Remembered/7693.html
2011-06-09T13:00:00Z
2011-06-09T13:00:00Z
<img class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" />
<p>A recent <a href="/b/Moments-to-Remember/7697.html">email of the day</a> reminded me of what my 6 siblings and I remember from 50 years ago: Everything we did as a family. <br /> <br /> Every other Sunday when Dad had a day off, we would all go to early Mass together and then to the lake to sit around fishing, swim, roast hotdogs, make popcorn. Then the ride home: praying together and singing silly songs. We went on camping trips where each of us had a responsibility to help set up and maintain our campsite. We pooled our allowance to buy a Father's Day gift. <br /> <br /> Yes, Kathleen, (referring to <a href="/b/Moments-to-Remember/7697.html">Moments to Remember</a>), they will remember those Friday nights munching candy bars and watching t.v. together with you in your bed, and you've no idea how much they were learning then about what a family is. <br /> <br /> We still connive to do things for Dad, now widowed for 19 years, like a conference call or paying for internet service so he can stay connected to the younger generations (at 94!) and coordinating visits from our scattered dwellings. I see the legacy in my parents' grandchildren and how they are raising the 4th generation. The origin of all this was the love and honor my parents bore each other and the discipline and prayer they invested in each and all of us. <br /> <br /> Kathleen, you did somethin' right! God bless you and I prayed for your kids today.<br /> <br /> Elaine</p>
Staff
2011-06-09T13:00:00Z
No More a Proponent of Day Care or Preschool
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-More-a-Proponent-of-Day-Care-or-Preschool/7694.html
2011-06-08T13:00:00Z
2011-06-08T13:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>The only topic I had disagreed with you over the years had been your stance on day care centers. I have to say before I worked as a lead teacher in one of the nation's primer commercial day care/preschool centers, I was a huge proponent of preschool. My children both attended church preschools for 3 hours a day/ 3 to 5 days a week. We had great experiences. I am a credentialed teacher and had been trying to find a teaching job for a couple of years at the K-6th grade level. I took a job offered to me at one of the best reviewed/distinguished preschool/day cares in the country. I only could handle the job for 5 months, and only stayed because I learned the class of students had been through something like 11 teachers over the course of a year and didn't want the kids to have to go through yet another teacher. My experience at this preschool/day care, was one of the worst experiences of my life, mostly because the experiences totally changed my views about education and people in the education business. <br />
<br />
Most of these big corporate preschools are run by money hungry owners, who will skimp on every thing they possibly can, including sanitary supplies. This commercial day care center grossly misrepresented everything from what curriculum was taught, what food was served during the day, and teacher credentials, as well as years the teachers worked at the center. I regularly witnessed administrators lying to potential clients when touring the school. I also witnessed many events in which the school was negligent on actual safety procedures. These institutions will do anything they can to not report incidents to the state or to parents, so as not to be fined by the state licensing body or receive bad reviews. The school I worked at looked like a wonderful place to leave your child. However all the posted calendars of activities, menus, monthly curriculum guides, and daily sheets posted were all lies. As long as I worked at the facility, children were never fed any items off of the daily menu that were posted on the menu calendar. Teachers were not provided with any of the materials that were needed to teach the lesson plans posted.<br />
<br />
Teachers sign confidentiality agreements when hired and are not allowed to speak with parents about any issues without director approval. It hurt my heart not to be able to warn parents of the lies they were told daily. I am even afraid to go online and post reviews of the particular school location. <br />
<br />
Please keep letting your listeners know how important it is for parents to be raising their own children, even if it means not buying that new car, computer or house. Possessions mean nothing if your child has not been given the love, comfort and compassion only a family member can give! Tell parents to listen to all the warnings from past teachers in day care centers. The owners and administrators are like used car salesmen/women. I am a changed person by seeing what goes on first hand in one of these day cares.<br />
<br />
L.</p>
Staff
2011-06-08T13:00:00Z
I Became a "Stepford Wife"
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Became-a-Stepford-Wife/7695.html
2011-06-07T13:00:00Z
2011-06-07T13:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>I listened to the call of the day - in which you advised a woman to be a "Stepford Wife" for two weeks and then call you back. It came at PRECISELY the right time in my life, and I realized I have the exact same problem as your caller. So I decided to try your advice myself. Good grief! It worked INSTANTLY. I thought somehow my husband would see through my, "Can I do anything else for you, Sweetie?" smiling pleasantness and get suspicious, feel manipulated -- something -- but he didn't. He was just HAPPY. It was ridiculously easy, and unbelievably successful. And it continues! The trick for me, as with your caller, was to allow myself to be sweet and accommodating without seeing myself as weak and irrelevant. Maybe it's because I'm older and don't feel the need to constantly prove my "importance" or insist my 75 opinions about things are critical to the progress of humanity... But, whatever... this is hilarious and delightful. I think I may have hope of being a "girl" after all.<br />
<br />
L.</p>
Staff
2011-06-07T13:00:00Z
Slammed by a Working Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Slammed-by-a-Working-Mom/7696.html
2011-06-06T13:00:00Z
2011-06-06T13:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
Today I got verbally slammed by a working mother. I'm a SAHM of a three year old boy and I got into an argument with a family member about how my son spends his weekdays. This person insisted that my son wasn't be adequately "socialized", even though I explained that I'm part of a SAHM group that has activities practically every day. She said that I was setting him up to be teased at school because the other kids would call him a "Mama's Boy" since, apparently, all he ever does is spend time with me. Then, she actually had the nerve to tell me that I need to "get a life" outside of the home before I do any irreversible damage to my son.<br />
<br />
She then proceeded to tell me that she "has" to work because her family "needs" the money.<br />
<br />
Enough! Seriously, I'm so tired of hearing this from working moms! Let's be real, shall we? My son gets far more "socialization" than any day care kid because I take him on adventures! We go apple picking, swimming, library....and where do day care kids go? Oh right, DAY CARE! One building, all day long. <br />
<br />
I'm also tired of hearing that Moms "have" to work. My parents were dirt poor when they got married. My dad went to night school while working full time and my mom skipped going to college so she could stay home with me during the day then go to work at night.<br />
<br />
I think you put it best in your book, In Praise of SAHM (which I reread the "Naysayers" chapter after this argument), "SAHMs are not SAHMs because they are lucky, stupid, lazy, weak, scared, useless, spoiled, frightened, or any other condescending description." Exactly!<br />
<br />
THANK YOU for helping to give us SAHM a voice! While I couldn't change my family member's mind, I'm reassured to know that you are out there, supporting all of us SAHMs and being the public cheerleader we need!<br />
<br />
A loyal listener and PROUD SAHM!<br />
<br />
Nicole</p>
Staff
2011-06-06T13:00:00Z
Moments to Remember
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Moments-to-Remember/7697.html
2011-06-03T13:00:00Z
2011-06-03T13:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>It's a rare night. A gift, really..... but they are all home and they're sleeping now. Six bodies in various stages of childhood.....most already in adulthood... each with their own signature pose in sleep. One with a tilted neck, one always out of the covers. Each with their own gifts and talents.....and shortcomings. It is hard not to feel the passage of time as I glance in at each of them on my way up to bed. Could it really be 25 years since it all began? Twenty- five years since the first one came home with us, to sleep in a nursery wallpapered with clouds. Are these young adults with long legs and painted eye-lashes really the same ones who only yesterday were scraping their knees and climbing into bed with us before venturing downstairs on a chilly Saturday morning? As the mother of six children, I am constantly watching, and worrying. Those who know me will be surprised by that because I'm not your typical worrier. I didn't worry about them choking, or falling. I never really worried about stairs, or babysitters, or colds or bare feet. But I worry about their happiness and the choices they'll make. I worry about who they will marry, and how this will affect them. I worry if I've taught them enough, and sometimes in a moment of panic, if I've taught them anything at all.<br />
<br />
And I must admit, sometimes I wonder what they'll remember. When they think back on the days when there weren't any clean socks, or when the dog destroyed the living room rug, will they also remember when we all used to lay my bed eating candy bars on Friday nights, watching Full House? Will they remember coming down in the morning in their pajamas to watch Sesame Street and Mr Rogers? Will any of us really be able to remember what it was like when we had 5 kids, and the oldest was only 7?<br />
<br />
I don't worry about the big days. We have photos that have captured all of those moments....... Christmas, birthdays, and a long chain of first days of school. I have pictures of First Communion, and Christenings.... proms and graduations. I don't worry about remembering those things. It's the little things I want to remember.... The smell of their necks after waking up from a nap.....the smiles with two front teeth missing....the sounds of their voices as they said good night, and I love you......the feel of their hands when they still held mine.......<br />
<br />
Yes, they're sleeping now, safe in the warmth of our home. I'm grateful for that. Grateful we have a cozy home and a stable family. Grateful they are growing up so nicely. But still in the dark of night... as I turn out the last light, I say a prayer for their safety and their future. And I hope I'll remember it all.<br />
<br />
Kathleen</p>
Staff
2011-06-03T13:00:00Z
Tribute to My Father
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Tribute-to-My-Father/7698.html
2011-06-02T13:00:00Z
2011-06-02T13:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura <br />
<br />
I wanted to write to you and express my gratitude for your advice and commentary, because you have allowed me to see how fortunate I truly am I had a wonderful man raise me.<br />
<br />
This June 2 would have been my parents' 49th wedding anniversary. My parents brought 5 children into this world, and endured many tribulations over the years. They have experienced losing an uninsured home to a fire, very nearly losing their oldest child to a near fatal accident, resulting in being wheelchair bound ever since. They have endured through the struggles of us, their children, who have often put them through unspeakable stress. They have experienced crippling poverty, and my mother very nearly losing her life to cancer, surviving and enduring together.<br />
<br />
His dignity and stiff upper lip were ever present, including through extended times of unemployment, as our area was hard hit by the recession of the 80's. He kept his head high, and while we struggled, he kept swimming upstream, unabated.<br />
<br />
He was a musician, and gave me the gift of music. He taught me rhythm, melody, harmony, cadence and the beauty of language in lyrics. He taught me the art of discipline, learning the guitar, though my fingers bled, and learning to play piano, though classical music bored me as an adolescent.<br />
<br />
He taught me I was special, pushing me to expect more of myself. He taught me I was worth more than being "some guy's" past-time, and I had no business with anyone who didn't treat me as well (at least) as he did.<br />
<br />
He taught me not to take myself too seriously. He made me laugh. He made all of us laugh.<br />
<br />
He taught us commitment. Through all that he and my mother endured, they stuck by one another. There might not have always been passion, as you say, but they always remained compassionate and respectful. It paid off as they grew old together, as they had promised to do. On their 45th wedding anniversary, my father humbly presented my mother a card, and asked with his usual impish wink, "Will I do until the right one comes along?"<br />
<br />
When I got married, I got married for life. I married a man with glowing integrity, a warm heart and a brave spirit. I married a man who stuck by me through illness, and a man who stuck by me despite our life plan not unfolding as he first saw it. <br />
<br />
I stay at home with my children, and he takes care of us. I see my father's love for my mother and his children reflected in the man I chose to father my children with compassion, dignity, integrity and honour. My father walked me down the aisle on my wedding day, and with tears in his eyes, he "passed the torch". He hugged me tight and told my husband to take good care of me. My husband promised he would.<br />
<br />
My father died unexpectedly July 11 of last year, and I will never, as long as I live, forget the gift I was given through him. I also, as I said, want to thank you for making that gift so evident every day through your words.<br />
<br />
Thank you.<br />
<br />
Deanna</p>
Staff
2011-06-02T13:00:00Z
The Phoenix Inspires
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Phoenix-Inspires/7699.html
2011-06-01T13:00:00Z
2011-06-01T13:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura, <br />
<br />
I thought you might enjoy this poem, which I just wrote.<br />
<br />
Lynette<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>The Phoenix</strong><br />
<br />
I read about a mythic creature<br />
whose most memorable feature<br />
is its deathly immolation.<br />
Magical, or aberration -<br />
<br />
If, in flight, some earthly dart<br />
should pierce its beauty to the heart,<br />
it falls in flames and though it dies,<br />
then rises from black ash, and flies.<br />
<br />
Well - I can do that. So can you.<br />
Destruction is a point of view.<br />
If felled by treacherous attack,<br />
accept that end and don't look back.<br />
<br />
Embrace that cleansing, charring spark,<br />
and use its flame to light the dark.<br />
Know in your broken heart that all<br />
you were, could not survive the fall.<br />
<br />
Inevitably, you must burn...<br />
and scorched, rekindled, you will learn:<br />
Your catastrophic crash to earth<br />
was necessary for rebirth.<br />
<br />
Relinquish all your shattered past -<br />
and you will rise again, at last.</p>
Staff
2011-06-01T13:00:00Z
Dangerous and Stressful Jobs
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dangerous-and-Stressful-Jobs/7700.html
2011-05-31T13:00:00Z
2011-05-31T13:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
I am not writing with an issue or complaint, just an observation. I travel a great deal and that allows me to listen to you often even if sporadically.<br />
<br />
A couple of weeks ago you read articles on dangerous and stressful jobs. I know you were just taking the information as it was presented and had occasion to question the author.<br />
<br />
I am sure many of your listeners thought: what about "my" occupation. And that is basically where I am going with this. There are people out there who risk their lives daily to bring to our citizens a commodity that is all but indispensable. They are the linemen (and some women) in the power industry. <br />
<br />
Their work often goes without notice because your lights tend to stay on. Sure, we all know just how many hours we did without power. But few are aware of the number of hours people work in an extremely hazardous and stressful environment to keep the lights on while the work gets done. <br />
<br />
The stress is a direct correlation to the hazard. We don't have many "minor" incidents in our work. We are often working in the most severe of circumstances and cannot allow our guard to be down for the briefest of moments. Usually the people in this field do the work because they love it. That is not to say we aren't compensated for our work. But trust me, few stay for the money once they understand the consequences of an error. And it isn't the money that makes them want to spend countless hours working to restore power to a community after a storm, hurricane and most recently the tornadoes. We do this because there is a certain pride in doing a job few would consider and many would find too challenging all the while providing a service none would voluntarily do without.<br />
<br />
I was blessed to have a good wife who allowed me to grow in my career as a lineman. Someone who was willing to take of the kids and keep washing my clothes, even bringing them to me so I could be dry for a few minutes, while I worked for days and sometimes weeks to put lines back up. More than just the workers make the sacrifice. We miss a few birthdays and we won't even talk about anniversaries. That can create a lot of stress in your life.<br />
<br />
I don't write this looking for heroics or praise - surely there are many other professions that don't get recognized. We do know our hazard and should be able to protect ourselves from it. I just thought maybe someone should speak up for a noble profession that rarely gets noticed unless someone is unhappy with their utility bill. <br />
<br />
Mike</p>
Staff
2011-05-31T13:00:00Z
Correlation Between Hot Car Deaths and Day Care Dropoffs
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Correlation-Between-Hot-Car-Deaths-and-Day-Care-Dropoffs/7701.html
2011-05-27T13:00:00Z
2011-05-27T13:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dearest Mother Laura,<br />
<br />
It's heating up in Texas, and this morning in the news there was yet one more heatstroke-related-death of a small child being "forgotten" in the car for an extended period of time. Too often it seems somewhere in these types of articles I'll read the parent forgot to drop the child off at day care while on his or her way to work. How many times must this continue to happen before someone will admit there seems to be a correlation with unintentional hot car deaths and forgotten day care drop-offs? <br />
<br />
Dr. Laura, I am my 5 and 2 year old kids' mom, and I am so grateful I found you on the radio over 10 years ago. I have my M.A. in marriage and family counseling, and I have testified many times that "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" has done more to benefit my 8 year marriage than my degree. Also, my son will be starting kindergarten this fall, and I have never been more grateful I put my career aside to stay home with my boys. It's quite easy to find mothers who regret putting their children in day care during those precious early years, but you'd be extremely hard-pressed to find mothers who regret STAYING HOME with their children, once their babies are grown. <br />
<br />
Thank you, Dr. Laura. I pray for you often, that God will continue to use you in the lives of all your listeners, and that you will keep up the good fight.<br />
<br />
Allison</p>
Staff
2011-05-27T13:00:00Z
Friendship
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Friendship/7702.html
2011-05-26T13:00:00Z
2011-05-26T13:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
What you have done and continue to do for our society is priceless. Listening to you for the past, oh, 17 years or so, changed my life. I had never heard anyone speak so plainly in support of parenting my children of standing up for what is right and defending life. Your words reinforced my belief my most important "job" was raising my kids! I thank God I had your constant support because the general consensus was that I was "wasting my degree" by not working full time.<br />
<br />
My children are 24 and 18 now. <br />
<br />
Over the past few years, I've begun to whittle down my circle of "friends" who have proven to not be friends, but rather acquaintances. Just this weekend I found myself thinking about how many real friends I have - I'm 51 now and I really don't have a lot of friends. I have many, many acquaintances, but only a couple of real, true friends.<br />
<br />
I need to do more self examination to make sure that I'm not becoming too jaded. (I almost wrote judgmental, but stopped myself. I'm entitled to judge whom I choose to have for friends!) Dr. Laura, you have been a trusted source of information to me for all these years that of course, I seek your counsel on this very important quest. I need to know if I'm on the right track or if I'm off track and need realignment as I enter this next great phase of my life! <br />
<br />
Please know you helped one insecure, messed up girl who took the female escape route, to develop her thoughts, beliefs, and opinions into a self-assured woman who is so very proud to be my kids' mother!<br />
<br />
With honor and respect,<br />
<br />
J.</p>
Staff
2011-05-26T13:00:00Z
Making Sure He's Number One
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Sure-Hes-Number-One/7703.html
2011-05-25T13:00:00Z
2011-05-25T13:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>This morning I came home from work and was exhausted since I work until 1:30a.m. and climbed back into bed to get some sleep. My husband was interested in some us time, but I told him I was too tired. Before he left for work this morning I told him I didn't think we were speaking the same language when it came to telling each other that we loved each other. Being a woman, I thought naturally he was the one who had it all wrong. <br />
<br />
Then this morning I went to the bookshelf and found your book "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands", and picked it up once again. I think I made it to chapter 2 before I realized how wrong I'd been and how neglectful I had been to my wonderful and amazing husband. He also works so hard to provide for this family and I was not being the wife he needed me to be. So, today I got dressed nice....not into "mommy clothes" and told him how sorry I was when he came home for lunch. I can't thank you enough for setting me straight once again. I am once again making sure he is #1 in my life and that he knows it. <br />
<br />
Thanks, <br />
<br />
K.</p>
Staff
2011-05-25T13:00:00Z
To Grandma Laura'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/To-Grandma-Laura/7704.html
2011-05-24T13:00:00Z
2011-05-24T13:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura...<br />
<br />
I wanted to drop you a line to tell you about my son, who was born on March 11, 2011 weighing just 1 pound and 11 ounces. He was born at 25w2d gestation and is holding his own in the NICU in one of the best NICU's a premature baby can be in.<br />
<br />
This has probably been the toughest thing I've ever had to go through. I've listened to your show since I was 18 (I'm 34 now). My husband and I have been married just over a year and I've always done my best at being a wonderful wife to come home to for him and to always be his girlfriend. Whenever I come across a "bump" in life, I've always tried to imagine in my head what your advice would be and it seems to have worked so far. I believe my husband and I are truly happy and we cannot wait until our little baby boy comes home for good and I can be a real mommy to him! Every diaper I get to change and every moment I get to hold him is so precious. His weight is now 4 pounds and 2 ounces and he's had to have a PDA ligation so far in his short life we're also dealing with a possible Microcephaly diagnosis. I commute 2 hours daily to see him when I can and go there on the weekends when we can get the money together for gas for his daddy to see him too. It's been a rough few months...but we're in a routine and routines are important for me to feel sane right now!<br />
<br />
I just wanted to tell you about my little baby and let you know I listen to you daily on my phone when I'm riding up to sit with him all day. You get me through the days and I appreciate a voice speaking out in this day and age which is full of morals and values! Thank you so much for your time.<br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
<br />
Pamela</p>
Staff
2011-05-24T13:00:00Z
Settling for a "Casual" Meaningless Relationship.
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Settling-for-a-Casual-Meaningless-Relationship./7705.html
2011-05-23T07:00:00Z
2011-05-23T07:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>A few days ago I heard you to tell a caller if she believes and continuously tells herself she is not worthy of a good loving respectful man, then she is NOT going to meet one! Your mindset is key to what you want. She would rather keep a bad relationship because she believes she doesn't deserve any better.<br />
<br />
This resonated with me a whole lot deeper than I expected. I have been in a "casual" relationship for the last 7 1/2 yrs on and off with a man who is 6 yrs younger than me and in the military. What does that mean? It means we occasionally bop when he's in town then he goes away for months at a time until the next time. This is almost humiliating to say out loud. However, I have never really verbalized it this way, which makes this whole situation, sounds so cheap. And yes, I know it is cheap because that is what I have allowed myself to become. <br />
<br />
I read "Bad Childhood, Good Life" among other therapeutic books and professional therapy to help me let go of my troubled youth and take hold of my life today. For the most part, I am very proud of myself when it comes to my career, my friendships and most importantly I was able to become an autonomous person in my family. When it comes to intimate relationships, well that's where I've not allowed myself to take responsibility and make wise decisions.<br />
<br />
I see now having this guy in my life is sort of a shield for me to protect myself from reality. This guy is not going to marry, adore, love nor respect me, not ever. Yet, hearing that caller I saw myself trying to relive my childhood in these meaningless casual relationships, where I chose men who purposely could never give me what I need or want. I keep replaying the, I want Mommy to love me but she is incapable of scenario with this guy. So in turn, the small voice in my head whispers, no one could ever love you or you are not worthy, ends up being right! <br />
<br />
I realize how pathetic this sounds. I am acting like I don't have a choice and keep settling for what little this man gives me. You are right my mindset needs to change. I have no right to cry about this since I chose this. <br />
<br />
As of today, I am choosing to get on with my life and not sell myself short. I am 36yrs-old and it is time to act like it! I am beautiful, compassionate, caring, honest, giving, loving and most definitely worthy of more than this. <br />
<br />
Thank you Dr. Laura, for smacking some sense into us gals who have fallen. <br />
<br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
<br />
C</p>
Staff
2011-05-23T07:00:00Z
I Was the Call of the Day, "Why is Melanie calling him 'Dad'?"
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Was-the-Call-of-the-Day,-Why-is-Melanie-calling-him-Dad/7707.html
2011-05-21T05:08:00Z
2011-05-21T05:08:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura, <br />
<br />
A few days ago, you took my call. I had wondered what to do about my foster mother's photo I had posted on facebook, because it infuriated my "Dad" as I called him. You told me to give up the fantasy because he is NOT my father. He is a sperm donor. You told me to honor my foster mother, even on "Father's Day." <br />
<br />
I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. <br />
<br />
The first time I heard you I was in high school. My foster mother's neighbor used to drive me home from school and listen to you. I thought you were as incredible then as I think you are now. <br />
<br />
As you said, you could probably write a book based on the short version of my life. The long version would be more like a library. I unfortunately have been through more than I would like to admit. Frankly, it is embarrassing. However, I came out on top. And I was not raised to be an optimist. My mother was a pessimist on top of being extremely abusive. The meth she used just exacerbated it. And the scary people that she exposed me to while using drugs came with hosts of other problems and scary situations. Sometimes I look back and think that I was destined to fail. It all seems very surreal. However I didn't fail. <br />
<br />
I have a wonderful life with two beautiful children, the best (and most handsome) husband, in-laws who are incredible. I feel I owe a lot of that to you. There were times in my early twenties when I would fall into the victim mode because it was easier and because I could get away with acting like a jerk. But your sound advice on the radio always reminded me I had no excuses. I make my life what it is. Period. <br />
<br />
Sometimes I still get jealous. My girlfriends will talk about spending time with their Mom or Dad, or doing "family" things. When you said I got my two beautiful children and a great husband instead of a Dad, a light bulb went on in my head. I never saw it like that. Sometimes I need reminding I am damn lucky I didn't turn into a statistic - - a loser like my parents, like a lot of people would have given my circumstances. <br />
<br />
My foster mother was an amazing woman. She owned her own coffee roasting business and dedicated her free time to raising her animals from the pound, and to children who were dying of cancer. She exercised and was very in shape. Her boyfriend was about to ask her to marry her before she was murdered, and the day before she was murdered, I had decided to ask her to be there with me to deliver my baby when it was time. Looking back and listening to my call to you, it all seems perfectly clear. I refuse to let some man with insecurities over his bad parenting ruin the one good parent I got out of everything. My foster mother was like hitting the lottery, and my bio-dad wanted to take it all away so he wouldn't be reminded of his own faults. <br />
<br />
Thank you. <br />
<br />
M.</p>
Staff
2011-05-21T05:08:00Z
Home Schooling
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Home-Schooling/7708.html
2011-05-20T06:48:00Z
2011-05-20T06:48:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>
<p>We home schooled our son and daughter from K-7 When we started back in 1990 most people including our families thought we were crazy...we were going to some how socially stunt them if not academically... <br />
<br />
Our curriculum was tailored to incorporate our travel destinations and schedule which we did extensively because of the freedom of choice and flexibility this educational choice afforded us and to teach them to be responsible self motivated and socially responsible adults.<br />
<br />
Our two kids, now 24 and 22 are well rounded and well adjusted...academically, artistically, musically, and socially and were nationally and internationally ranked athletes. One is a college graduate, married and employed and the other is just about to graduate from college...Stanford and Northwestern...they are both mature, self reliant, self-starting, fun loving, competitive, motivated young adults who are living independently of their parents as it should be and love to excel at living...most of all they are loving and compassionate young adults who embrace their faith and relationship with the living God, are adept socially and take active leadership serving roles in their communities...<br />
<br />
We love being around them even when they correct us and provide us with wisdom and guidance from their own perspectives!!!<br />
<br />
J.</p>
</p>
Staff
2011-05-20T06:48:00Z
Trying to Fix Past Mistakes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Trying-to-Fix-Past-Mistakes/7709.html
2011-05-19T05:49:00Z
2011-05-19T05:49:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura<br />
<br />
I have listened to you for years, even though I haven't always followed your advice. I shacked up, had a child out of marriage and did everything I could to prove I didn't need a man. I was used to being Ms. Independent and didn't want to need him. We had some issues and I found it easier to move back to my family rather than keep the door open to him, as he wasn't completely committed to being a family man.<br />
<br />
This past year, something hit me. I realized that perhaps I wasn't as much of a prize as I thought I was in my previous relationship with my daughter's father. I also realized that I hadn't been as kind as I should have been and that I wanted to fix things with him. I hadn't dated anyone else, so I had had time to think about the problems in the relationship.<br />
<br />
We had been out of contact for a few years when I came to this realization and began working on changing myself. He contacted me out of the blue and wanted to talk to me about everything. Slowly we began to work on talking about the issues between us, and I have to say, I have used all of your advice to not nag or bitch about past problems. <br />
<br />
I have learned from listening to you it can take two people to make a problem, but sometimes only one person has to truly change to make a difference. We have seen each other a few times, and are working towards being together as a family. This is a huge step for me, as I was ready to write him off and just keep moving on with my life, but I have realized I have to change too, and I want an intact family for our daughter. It is difficult for me not to be demanding or naggy, and I have had to really keep the focus on my long term goal of getting married to him so we can all be a family, rather than cutting my losses and moving on.<br />
<br />
I have to say your advice about being calm and kind has helped, but what has really helped was your focus on having a family for your kids and not dating while your children are in the house. I see so many women and men with revolving doors in terms of dating that the children become used to this, and accept this as normal. Despite my past mistakes, this was the one thing I really did right, as our daughter is now 4 and I haven't dated at all. This helped me maintain my focus on her, as well as leave the opportunity open for him to grow up enough to be part of our family. <br />
<br />
Is this a perfect situation? No, of course not. We shacked up before and I know this makes it harder in many ways for him to respect me and to marry me. However, I am working on treating him as kindly as possible, while looking seriously at my mistakes in the past and focusing on changing myself into a better woman who is more understanding and loving, and who would make a good wife. Some days it is very hard not to nag or moan about the past, and be positive, but I try to stay in the present and focus on what I want for us more than anything, which is to be a family. <br />
Thank you.<br />
<br />
R.</p>
Staff
2011-05-19T05:49:00Z
Homeschooling
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Homeschooling/7710.html
2011-05-18T06:24:00Z
2011-05-18T06:24:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
How happy I was when I headed out in the car and the first thing I heard was you talking about homeschooling. My son is currently in public school and ever since he started I wished I had been homeschooling him although I have always thought I would not have the patience. But issues with bullies in school and on the bus has changed this. The school has proven they will not protect the bullied child but rather the bully. After months of trying to get somewhere with the school on the issue I finally hit the edge. Someone, somewhere was kicking me and pushing me towards homeschooling. I have FINALLY realized this is the best option for my son and my family. <br />
<br />
Every choice I have made since he was born has been to raise him best. I took a year off of work and we lived in low income housing. I went back to work but as a school bus driver so he could go to work with me. We bought a small house we could afford instead of getting ourselves in too deep and I would have to have a "real" 9-5 job. I always thought that homeschool would rob my son of something, or I couldn't do it. I know now not only can I do this...I HAVE TO DO THIS. My son is too important to be someone's punching bag. He is too kind, sweet and loving to be hurt like this. He really thinks the school officials let him be hurt over and over. He was getting migraines, tummy aches and ground his teeth. Since making the decision to homeschool all this has nearly stopped. He knows he only has a few more weeks of public school. Today before your program aired I finished the paperwork, finished creating his curriculum and ordered 8 books to get started! My son is so excited about fun learning and helping to create his homestudy units. I am nervous but so excited to. <br />
<br />
My husband had been on the fence about home schooling and then we were listening to the repeat of your first hour on the way home from his work. He listened and said. You are right! He signed the papers when we got home.<br />
<br />
Thank you Dr. Laura for being there for all us moms who just want to do the right thing.<br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
<br />
Michele</p>
Staff
2011-05-18T06:24:00Z
I. AM. HERE.
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I.-AM.-HERE./7711.html
2011-05-17T05:14:00Z
2011-05-17T05:14:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>I'm a mother of 2 year old twins, and married to the man of my dreams. I love people, animals, have blonde hair, sing, dance and paint pictures. My life was in the hands of a 16 year old girl 33 years ago.<br />
<br />
I've always been a bit awkward and self conscious, but recently I've realized I come from a hero. My mother is so brave, and so strong. I feel empowered by her unbelievable actions and I honor her daily by being the absolute best person I can be. She fought to let me live, and when I look at flowers, trees blowing in the wind, clouds, birds, people's faces...I am so grateful and I am so happy. I'm a part of this human race because she thought that my life was worth saving. Before she knew me. Before she saw my face. Before I had a name.<br />
<br />
She was 16 and pregnant when she ran from the appointment room of an abortion clinic. As a result, she was kicked out of her house. Her 16 year old boyfriend was as scared as she was and eventually moved to another part of the country. She was alone and homeless, yet she was selflessly preparing to do something she knew would hurt more than anything.<br />
<br />
After I was born, a nurse placed me on my hero's chest. As we slept, someone sketched a picture of mother and daughter and gave it to her. Then, I was gone. She had looked through many applications, and had chosen a couple she would have liked to have had as parents. They had a home, the woman would quit her job to raise the baby, they had extended family and they had a lot of love.<br />
<br />
After losing everything for this baby, she let go of the little being she had nurtured inside of her womb for 9 months. She could have clung to me and the romance of the idea of "we'll make it through together," but she wanted to give me a real life, and a great chance in life. This has been extremely valuable to me. At 16, she knew a two parent family was best.<br />
<br />
She lived with foster families until she was of age, and never regained a proper relationship with those who would have had me dead. Her heart ached for the loss of her baby, but she has made a life for herself and is very loved by the children she went on to have.<br />
<br />
And I look at my fingers as I type, and I feel my tears running down my cheeks and I see photos of people I love hanging on the wall beside me. I am so thankful and I just don't know how to put it into words because I. AM. HERE. <br />
<br />
My birth mother is the most heroic person I know, and when I think about it, every birth mother who has given a child up for adoption is hero. These women need to be praised for what they have done. They stood up for us...lives who some say are not worth saving. They gave us to families who would love us...and with us lost a piece of their hearts. Who can do something so brave? Only a hero. Their private struggle has been so huge...they need to be lifted up.<br />
<br />
And, to my Birth Mother I say: "I don't know how to say thank you. I just don't....But I am here. I am here. I will make my life, this gift, your suffering count. You will see, I was worth it."<br />
<br />
Thanks Dr. Laura.<br />
<br />
L.</p>
Staff
2011-05-17T05:14:00Z
Saved Me First, Then Saved My Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Saved-Me-First,-Then-Saved-My-Marriage/7712.html
2011-05-14T06:40:00Z
2011-05-14T06:40:00Z
<p><br />
</p>
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" /> Hello Dr. Laura! <br />
<br />
<br />
Just a quick note to thank you and let you know how you have affected my life. I am my kids' Mom. I have been stepping for 15 years. I am also FINALLY my husband's girlfriend. After we were together for two years (children were 7 and nine), his ex wife took her own life. My husband and I were engaged at that time, due to be married in a couple of months. I postponed our wedding; the kids had way too much to deal with. I was 29 and I WISH I would have listened to you then. It would have saved A LOT of trouble and wasted time. <br />
<br />
<br />
We ended up getting married three years later. He told me after the honeymoon, the kids were "my deal." So I quit my job to raise them full time. My husband was very absent for many years. I cooked, cleaned, went to basketball games, plays, school mass every week -- and I am not even catholic! <br />
<br />
<br />
I was a terrible wife, needy, whiney, clingy! A Debbie downer! The more I smothered him, the more he resisted! He had work, golf, bars...I was alone almost every night! NOW I see why he didn't want to be around me -- I was obsessed with him, and very bitter.<br />
<br />
<br />
One day he came home and I was crying. I told him I was miserable and wanted out. Right then my step son came in and said, "Then I am going with you." My husband told me "anyone would kill to live in an 8,000 sq ft house, drive expensive cars, etc...I sold myself out.<br />
<br />
SO...here's where you come in… One day while feeling sorry for myself, I stumbled upon your show! You gave me strength, and slowly over the years became stronger and stronger. You asked a woman one time "How can your husband respect you, if you don't love or respect YOURSELF!" OMGOSH...a light bulb went off!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
<br />
FAST FORWARD four years later! We are happier than we have ever been. I told him four years ago, I will put up with you, but when the kids are out of the house, I am too. I started having my respect. WHY didn't I do this years ago! Guess what? His light bulb went off! <br />
<br />
<br />
I started treating myself better. I listened to your books. He noticed an immediate change. We started going to lunch together every day. I would ALWAYS have your show on. HE started to listen! <br />
<br />
<br />
It was a long road: Lots of tears, apologies, fights, kisses, lovemaking… and finally peace. We are best friends, lovers, and for the first time we live alone together!!! The kids are grown, healthy, and successful. So at 44 (me) and 52 (my husband) we are like newlyweds.. THANK YOU FOR SAVING my life, and marriage. We joke now. My husband says, "I love we got to this place with each other. I am so happy, and so in love with you. You were so patient with me. I always smile and say, "You know who to send the check to. MY Dr. Laura" We love you -- YOU SAVED US BOTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
<br />
Sincerely, <br />
<br />
<br />
T & T
<p><br />
</p>
<p><br />
</p>
<p><br />
</p>
Staff
2011-05-14T06:40:00Z
Act Like You Love Him
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Act-Like-You-Love-Him/7713.html
2011-05-13T06:20:00Z
2011-05-13T06:20:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p><br />
</p>
I'm sure my letter is not unique, but I just had to let you know how much you have helped me over these last couple of years. <br />
<br />
Two years ago was a very dark time in our marriage which I try now to push out of my head. I don't care to re-live all the details of that time (I've done enough all ready) In short, my husband was having an affair and I was faced with a decision. I confided in a few close friends and was told to dump him, and move back home. I came very close, but there was a nagging voice in my head telling me not to give up. The kids needed their father and I would be damned if I would allow my children to be exposed to his tramp on the side. I was also not about to let some hussy steal MY MAN away. I would NOT let her win! But I didn't know how to go about winning him back and wasn't even sure if I WANTED him back after what he had done, all I knew was I was not going down like this. <br />
<br />
Then I discovered your show by accident and you received a call that mirrored my life. You gave her advice I was never given or even heard in my whole life: "Act" like I love him for the sake of the kids. "Act" like we were dating again. It seemed so phony but my pride was on the line and in my head I was thinking I would win him back, he would kick the bimbo to the curb so "I" could be the one to dump HIM and leave him alone and hurt like he hurt me. I wanted him to hurt. <br />
<br />
So, I followed your advice, for the wrong reasons, but followed it nonetheless. And something strange happened, we both started to fall back in love with each other. I was cooking his favorite foods, making his favorite lunches for work, giving him back rubs and lots of sex, but I wasn't acting any more. I wanted to make him happy and he wanted the same. It's been 2 years since then and we have just celebrated our 10 year anniversary and are more in love with each other now than when we first met. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I can't say it enough. You helped me make my life better than I ever dreamed. Thank you.<br />
<br />
V.
<p><br />
</p>
<p><br />
</p>
Staff
2011-05-13T06:20:00Z
Mother's Day Tribute
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mothers-Day-Tribute/7714.html
2011-05-12T06:11:00Z
2011-05-12T06:11:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
Dear Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
Many of my friends have told me to send this to you…<br />
<br />
<br />
MOTHER'S DAY TRIBUTE<br />
<br />
They come in a small package, and mission from above<br />
With special talents, and hearts full of love<br />
We watch them when small, much different than boys<br />
Softer and kinder, more sensible toys<br />
<br />
A drive within, not yet mature<br />
To be a Mother, and have family for sure<br />
Girls now, but Mother to be<br />
Her talents arrive, for the world to see<br />
We have all heard the words, which came from our Mother<br />
We pass them down, from one to another<br />
What's in your mouth, get out of there<br />
Take your bath, and wash your hair<br />
Pick up your room and don't argue with me<br />
Reading books, teaching 1 2 3<br />
<br />
Stop and walk, do not run<br />
Washing the clothes, with dirt from fun<br />
Fruit Loops cereal, peanut butter and jelly<br />
Spank my bottom, tickle my belly<br />
Do your homework then get ready for bed<br />
Put on your jammies, a kiss on the head<br />
Screams and cries, in the middle of the night<br />
Mom's loving face, God's beam of light<br />
Worry life long, her kids always in mind<br />
Never ending care, leaving nothing behind<br />
<br />
It was God's plan, that we all have a Mother<br />
To teach us how, to love one another<br />
Tenderness and care, the world they teach<br />
Respect and honor, we must show to each<br />
Even our Lord, who died on the cross<br />
Looked down on his Mother, who sobbed at her loss<br />
Our life on earth, could never be<br />
Without our Mother, and her love to see<br />
<br />
John Payne<br />
2002
<p> </p>
Staff
2011-05-12T06:11:00Z
Experiences with Abortion
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Experiences-with-Abortion/7715.html
2011-05-11T04:48:00Z
2011-05-11T04:48:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p></p>
Hi Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
I thought I'd write you a quick note to let you know about my own experience with abortion. My husband and I have been married for 11 years. We have three kids, a 2 yr old, a 5 yr old and an...11 year old.<br />
<br />
From their ages you can probably guess that I was pregnant when we got married. It was definitely not an ideal situation. We were both still in college when I got pregnant...we'd only been dating for 8 months. And while we loved each other desperately most people thought we should have had an abortion because they all assumed it would never work out if we went ahead and got married. At first we considered it. I remember going to the clinic in the college town where we lived and being basically hustled as if I were at a used car lot. "You are doing the right thing," the college aged 'counselor' (and I use that term loosely) told me. "Most situations like this never work out for anyone." She went through the options of procedures etc, but she hit a snag when she asked me how far along I was. I had no idea. I had irregular periods so really, I couldn't even guess. "Well you'll have to an ultrasound to date it," she told me. "You don't have to look if you don't want to."<br />
<br />
I was lead into an exam room where they did the ultrasound. The monitor was turned away from me, but my then boyfriend was able to see it. I saw his eyes widen at one point and he looked at me in this terror filled way. What had he seen? The tech running the machine tried to hide the picture with her body so he couldn't see it and suddenly I wanted to see the image.<br />
<br />
"Let me see it," I said. "I don't think that's a good idea," the tech told me. "I want to," I said. "Let me see it."<br />
<br />
Then she turned the monitor towards me and I saw...him. He was floating in a sea of blackness...a little white profile of a perfect human being. He hand was raised to his mouth, and even to me, a total medical layperson, I could tell the tiny baby on the screen was sucking his thumb. I looked at my boyfriend, and saw his eyes filled with tears. "I can't do this." I said. And I got up and left.<br />
<br />
That was over 11 years ago. How close did we come to losing the only thing in life that has mattered since? How does a scared college student even begin to realize what they are throwing away? No one can explain it to you. It's nothing you can ever understand...unless you see it for yourself.<br />
<br />
We might have been young, dumb, and irresponsible, but we were capable of making it right. We committed ourselves to that baby and each other and got married a month later. We somehow slogged through those last years of school and we've never looked back. I am so thankful we had the courage to look at that ultrasound image 11 years ago. Who knew a black & white image of a thumb sucking little peanut could redefine the way we looked at everything else? We are so blessed. <br />
<br />
E.
<p> </p>
Staff
2011-05-11T04:48:00Z
Fireworks and Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fireworks-and-Marriage/7716.html
2011-05-10T04:21:00Z
2011-05-10T04:21:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p></p>
I loved your answer the caller Ashley when she was so worried about "fireworks" to tell her when to get married. I'd tell her "fireworks, shmireworks". I thank God every single day that I let go of that absurd notion and married my husband, who I now actually feel "fireworks" for more each day we are married! <br />
<br />
Jim & I lived in the same condominium complex when we met and saw each other ALL THE TIME - mainly out with our dogs - including in the rain, with the flu, flannel nightgown tucked into my sweats, and dirty hair only partly hidden under the hood of my raincoat. He liked me even after that! We learned to know each other slowly, and saw how the other behaved over time in all sorts of circumstances and with all sorts of people, not just how the other behaved during dates. Because of the almost "forced" circumstances of living so geographically close, we became friends, first about the time we started dating, I knew him so well I never had that "ooooh" feeling one gets when first infatuated. <br />
<br />
Now, I couldn't wait to see him, I loved being with him, he made me laugh, & he took incredible care of me, but stupidly, I worried and worried about that dumb "feeling". Here was this hunk of an adorable man who was so very thoughtful, sweet, fun, the first one I wanted to talk to about everything, who always made sure our dogs were involved when possible (a deal breaker for me)...and a GREAT kisser. C'mon! No brainer, huh? Still, I kept The Big Issue pushed away - delaying our marriage for probably 1&1/2 years by my stupidity - all because "but I never felt that first feeling". !!! <br />
<br />
Funny, once he asked and I said yes, I couldn't IMAGINE what my problem had been! It was so obvious to me I couldn't even imagine myself with anyone but him...and that has not changed a teeny bit. Everyone said I was the most un-jittery bride - I couldn't figure out why one would be jittery. I was finally going to be one with the man I adore, and I now get to flirt and cook and laugh and plan with (and trust!) this fabulous man - forever. Just as our Dr. Laura always preaches, teaches, and nags, when you wake up in the morning thinking about how you can make your spouse happy, it is YOU who benefits - in spades! But you gotta mean it.<br />
<br />
Jim's in Afghanistan now, but will be home in 13 days. Actually, as I write, 12 days and 21.5 hours...but who's counting? ME!!! I can barely breathe at times I'm so excited!<br />
<br />
So, Dr. Laura you were so right on the mark with Ashley (Duh! When are you not?). Ignore Disney and look at that man you are dating. If he is as fabulous as you said he is, grab him and LOVE (as a verb) him. Make your own fireworks! Believe me they go higher each year.<br />
<br />
M.
<p></p>
Staff
2011-05-10T04:21:00Z
Shark Attack
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Shark-Attack/7717.html
2011-05-07T06:21:00Z
2011-05-07T06:21:00Z
<img class="blog-icon-large" alt="Icon" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" />
<p></p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura:<br />
<br />
I just finished your latest book, Surviving a Shark Attack (on Land), and I cannot thank you enough for writing such an insightful, helpful book. Everyone on the planet should read this book. <br />
<br />
Here's how it helped me: I married a wonderful man with a not-so-wonderful family. They have a PhD in betraying each other. His mother and sister are a backstabbing, mean duo who seeks to destroy all things happy and fun. We put up with their needling attacks for years. However, when we had children and the meanness did not stop, we removed ourselves from the destructive environment. My husband's resolve and strength in standing up to them has made me realize what a real man he is, and how he will protect his family at all costs. What an amazing man. Since our refusal to involve ourselves in their destructive ways, they have launched a campaign to attempt to make us feel guilty and bad for our happy lives. They tried to make us believe that WE are the bad guys for our actions. My husband took it very well. He turned the other cheek. I, on the other hand, had a harder time with it. I over-analyzed our position to be sure there wasn't anything else WE could do to improve the relationship. (am I intolerant? unfair? is it my fault?)<br />
<br />
Because of your book, Surviving a Shark Attack (on Land), I have been set free. Without realizing it until reading your book, we have been "sticking it to them" for awhile now. My husband and I have transformed ourselves into strong tri-athletes, and we impress ourselves and each other all the time. We have taken our kids on many more fun family adventures. We are happy. We laugh, we love, we enjoy each other tremendously. And I no longer feel bad about that. The tension has been lifted, the feelings are gone, and I am having the time of my life and loving every minute of it. Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you.<br />
<br />
Your loyal listener of 15+ yrs,<br />
S.<br />
<br />
PS I am so sorry for the pain that caused you to write this book. Please know your hurt has been transformed into a huge help to the world. You have helped me in so many ways. I have listened to you since college, and you helped me make good, smart, moral decisions, which helped me choose a great man, which helped me be a great stay-at-home mom to 2 well-behaved, healthy, joyful kidlets. Thank you for everything. I hope you are on the air forever. I cannot imagine a world without your beautiful voice.</p>
<p></p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2011-05-07T06:21:00Z
Drinking with Your Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Drinking-with-Your-Children/7718.html
2011-05-06T05:55:00Z
2011-05-06T05:55:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>When I was 18, it was legal to drink beer and wine. My parents were alcoholics and had been since I was 8. They started drinking with me, and it was the first time I felt the warm glow of acceptance from them. Before I never quite measured up and when I did win a blue ribbon or get an A, it was fleeting approval. <br />
<br />
This warm feeling of acceptance quickly turned into my becoming an alcoholic. Over the years, throughout my 20's and 30's, they would continue to encourage this behavior at all family get-togethers, being "loving" only as we drank. I finally became sober in my early 40's about 6-7 years ago. It was a choice. No AA, no counseling, I decided that I didn't want to be my parents and stopped to save my children's childhood.<br />
<br />
Drinking with your kids, even when they are adults, can be very damaging (I don't mean a glass of wine at dinner). I can only imagine how difficult my life would be had they started this sooner.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>T.</p>
<p></p>
Staff
2011-05-06T05:55:00Z
A Shack up Princess Bride
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Shack-up-Princess-Bride/7719.html
2011-05-05T06:49:00Z
2011-05-05T06:49:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p></p>
<p>Although I'm not much of an anglophile, and I wasn't really all that interested in the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton today, I did stumble across some coverage while trying to watch some real news. To my (naive) surprise, I learned from one of the gushing royal wedding commentators William and Kate have been shacking up for quite some time now. Of course the commentator spoke about how this would make their transition to marriage so simple and wonderful, since they already knew each other's odd little at-home habits. I was appalled to hear this news. I foolishly thought all the pomp and circumstance of the wedding actually meant something. I thought it stood for some semblance of tradition and values. I thought it stood for the mutual respect the couple had for each other, for the crown, for their families, for their country. Now I know it was just the typical traditional farce that has become so common in modern marriages. As you say, Dr. Laura, a traditional wedding should be reserved for those who take a traditional path to marriage - it should not apply to those who choose to shack up. <br />
<br />
I only wonder now what the little girls watching all the coverage might think of this. Will they dream of some day being a shack up princess? Will they hope to be a romanticized unpaid whore, disrespecting themselves and allowing their future husbands to disrespect them right from the start? <br />
<br />
While I wish the new royal couple no ill will, I am extremely disappointed they chose to set such a poor example.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A.</p>
<p></p>
Staff
2011-05-05T06:49:00Z
A College Degree
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-College-Degree/7720.html
2011-05-04T06:46:00Z
2011-05-04T06:46:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p></p>
<p>Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
Regarding more women getting higher education degrees than men today…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A college degree does not equal more money. I work as an industrial electrical technician. I obtained about 53 technical semester hours of electronics and electrical credits from Navy aviation electronics technician schools and a formal continuing education course with an employer in industrial electricity. I've been in my field for over 25 years now and have experience and formal training in robotics and industrial laser systems. My mother is Master Degreed in education and I have made more money than her ever since I got out of the military for the past 17 years. Men's professions are more demanding technically and physically for the most part and are in greater demand. You are paid not only for what you know but what you can do. That is why men make more money in these areas combined and just having a degree doesn't always mean more money. I forgot to mention, I do not have a degree and on average make about 75K. I've made as much as 100K in a year. I probably have equivalent to a B.S., but it doesn't matter anymore because I can work for an electrical power, civil service, or manufacturing industries. Sometimes a degree is more a crutch than it is a living. Many women don't realize they could do what I do and other men do and stop feeding the elite education system for a degree that just doesn't cut the mustard anymore.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>T.</p>
<p></p>
Staff
2011-05-04T06:46:00Z
Definite Rewards
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Definite-Rewards/7721.html
2011-05-03T05:57:00Z
2011-05-03T05:57:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p></p>
<p>Recently, due to surprising decision by the governing board, my husband found himself terminated from his job. He is intelligent and talented he will find another job. In the meantime, I have been working more hours where I can in hopes to help with our finances. I tend to come dragging home from work and see the things around the house I wish I could have gotten done had I been home during the day. My husband has said, "Just tell me what you want done and I can do it." This is not very successful, as he is more likely to forget than to do the chores. Next was, "Make me a to-do list and I can get to it when I'm home." Mostly the to-do list continually gets shifted to the next day every evening, with not much crossed off - and often with added items!</p>
<p> <br />
A few days ago I came home late in the afternoon. As I entered the house, my sympathetic husband said, "How would you like to take a nap?" We both know that is 'code' for 'let's go have sex in the afternoon since neither of us are at work!' Instantly I knew my answer: "I'd really like to 'take a nap', but I have a few things I would like to get done outside before it gets dark. Would you like to help me?" Like I mentioned, my husband is intelligent. I think the real answer was, "No, I don't want to help you work outside." But what came out of his mouth was, "Sure, I'll come out and work with you!" </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I did a few things I really wanted done and he proceeded to accomplish much of what was on the to-do list. As we worked, I was patting myself on the back for realizing how to use the best tool I have for getting household chores done! I even mentioned (as our paths crossed), "Now I'm really looking forward to taking that nap in just a few more minutes!" My husband has full confidence in me - he knew he would be rewarded when we had worked together awhile!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>C.</p>
<p> <br />
<br />
</p>
Staff
2011-05-03T05:57:00Z
Standing for the Right Thing in a Firm Way
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Standing-for-the-Right-Thing-in-a-Firm-Way/7722.html
2011-04-30T06:09:00Z
2011-04-30T06:09:00Z
<img class="blog-icon-large" alt="Icon" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" />
<p></p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p> I am a regular listener and bought the satellite radio to listen to you long before you went to it. We lived in a rural area and that was the only way to get your program!<br />
<br />
I just wanted to thank you for your words of wisdom. I am older than you are (just turned 70 today) but wasn't raised in a normal household and didn't learn all I'd have liked to when I was growing up. I had a loving mother who just didn't seem to know how to raise kids....and was widowed with four of us when I was only 4. Your stance on having two-parent homes really hit home with me. It was over 7 years before my Mom remarried and then I felt normal again. My stepfather wasn't the end-all, but he was there and that meant a lot. Somehow it took a load off me and allowed me to just be a normal kid. </p>
<p> <br />
I stayed in an abusive marriage for 33 years because I wasn't sure about leaving. I did finally leave when I thought my life was in danger. Had I been able to understand that earlier (by listening to you) I would have been able to leave sooner, but at least I feel good that when it came time I had the gumption to leave. It was the best thing I could have done for myself. </p>
<p> <br />
I just want to really thank you for the good sense you talk to us all....you have been a really strong influence on me. I have learned to be stronger and stand up for the right thing in a firmer way....not mean, just firm. My niece was dating someone who wasn't treating her well and I spoke up about that. She was upset with me for a while, but she dumped the jerk so I was pleased. Life is so much easier when one just relies on common sense, which you are good at letting us understand better....</p>
<p> </p>
<p>God bless you! </p>
<p> </p>
Marcy
<p></p>
Staff
2011-04-30T06:09:00Z
Freedom to Enjoy Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Freedom-to-Enjoy-Life/7723.html
2011-04-29T05:22:00Z
2011-04-29T05:22:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
I was listening to previous podcasts and I came across the episode where a listener wrote you to complain about your voice. You talked about the radio manager who told you not to laugh. The letter you read was from a listener who complained about your "high voice". Well, I have something to say about this.<br />
<br />
First of all, one of the reasons I love listening to your show is because you are fun to listen to - and that includes all your voices. It's a reflection of your personality and I enjoy it. Recently, you sang "Old MacDonald" with the opera-singing caller and made horse noises. I laughed so hard and smiled all morning long every time I thought about it. When you have fun, your listeners have fun too.<br />
<br />
Second, I grew-up with my father always complaining about me. He said my footsteps were too heavy...and I didn't sneeze right...and he complained when I was a child he couldn't stand the sound of silverware hitting my teeth when I ate...and I laughed too loud...etc. I'm only 27 but I have learned over the past 8 years, through a healthy marriage to a great man, I can be loved for being me - and everything that encompasses. <br />
<br />
This brings me to my main point:<br />
<br />
When I hear you enjoying yourself on the radio, something inside me stirs and I know I have that kind of freedom too - the freedom to enjoy life and all of my responses to it, without caring what anyone else thinks. And I know I'm not the only one who feels this way.<br />
<br />
So thank you for laughing. Thank you for all the wonderful, funny voices. And thank you most of all for quacking like a duck and neighing like a horse. You totally made my day.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Caitlin</p>
<p></p>
Staff
2011-04-29T05:22:00Z
Viewing Things Objectively
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Viewing-Things-Objectively/7724.html
2011-04-28T06:47:00Z
2011-04-28T06:47:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p> My mother died when I was 7 and my dad married again when I was 9. My stepmother already had a younger child who she naturally preferred. I had six siblings, so my stepmother was overwhelmed. My dad was a drunk and his role was merely to bring home a paycheck. Therefore, I was raised in a pretty emotionally sterile (cold) environment. Think Cinderella with out the prince. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I didn't realize my stepmother was damaged goods until I became an adult and had children of my own and knew there were things about the way I was raised I would not and did not subject my own children to. As an adult she has continued to treat me as an unwanted relative and of course I tried for many years to be better/give more to be accepted by her. Nothing I did was ever enough. Finally after I started to listen to you and could see myself in some of your callers, I finally figured it out. Without going into a lot of detail, you helped me by allowing me to step back and take a look at the way I was treated in a more objective way. It wasn't me, it wasn't anything I did or didn't do. There was nothing I could do to change her behavior towards me. The only thing in my power was to dispassionately step back and make a decision to either accept the relationship with severe limitations or to cut it off. I decided to just take myself emotionally out of it and to just ignore all the intended slights, little games and barbs she sent my way. It took me a while to train myself, but I finally did and I am more at peace with myself than ever before. I am no longer upset by her drama and my family loves me enough that I no longer need to seek her approval or acceptance. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>S.</p>
<br />
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2011-04-28T06:47:00Z
I'm Going to Spend My Time Differently!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Going-to-Spend-My-Time-Differently!/7725.html
2011-04-22T06:20:00Z
2011-04-22T06:20:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p></p>
Dear Dr.Laura,<br />
<br />
I called you yesterday about my mom. I told you she had a bad childhood with, an alcoholic dad, an abusive mom, and practically raised her siblings. She married a good man, but did not treat him kindly. She complained a lot about how he didn't make enough money, and she hates her job which in turn is all his fault... bla bla bla. Now that I am an adult, she complains to me. This Sunday I told her to stop complaining to me about him. Now she is punishing me by not talking to him for 3 days. You told me "GOOD," and to not feel bad for my dad by reminding me that "he is a grown man". "STOP TRYING TO FIX THEIR MARRIAGE". <br />
<br />
Well last night I gave that some thought. I realized you were right. I was trying to fix an unhealthy marriage that didn't want to fixed. Just like how she spent way to much time always trying to fix her unhealthy family that didn't want to be fixed. That time could have been better spent trying to be a good mother and wife. So I will spend my time trying to be the kind of mother she was not and the kind of wife she was not. I will continue to stand my ground. I will have a have a healthy relationship with her or not one at all. I am a grown woman and if I need love I will get it from my husband. If I need a hug I will get it from my husband. Her life would have been so much better if she would have looked to her husband for love rather than her abusive mom and dad who never gave it to her. Mother Laura I will listen to you and be a the strong woman my husband and children deserve. Thank you Dr. Laura!<br />
<br />
Love,<br />
<br />
Tess<br />
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2011-04-22T06:20:00Z
Cohabitant Vows...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cohabitant-Vows...-/7726.html
2011-04-21T06:47:00Z
2011-04-21T06:47:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p></p>
I don't know who created this, but it's right on! <br />
<br />
"I take you... to be my cohabitant, to have sex with you, and to hold you responsible for half the bills, to love you, and to take advantage of you, for as long as our arrangement works out. I will be more or less faithful to you... " <br />
<br />
You get the idea. <a href="http://drlaura.com/LinkClick.aspx?link=http%3a%2f%2fwww.youtube.com%2fwatch%3fv%3dXVErKZGzNNM&tabid=105&mid=447" target="_blank">Watch the video</a><br />
<br />
<p></p>
Staff
2011-04-21T06:47:00Z
Counting Contact with My Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Counting-Contact-with-My-Kids/7727.html
2011-04-20T05:29:00Z
2011-04-20T05:29:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p></p>
<p>I am my kids' mom, and my husband's wife. I left a top corporate job at the world's leading software company to do so. I was sitting at home the other day with my twin boys (10 months) and some of my other children "playing" with them. I say "playing" because they played, mostly by themselves, but I was intermittently called to be their play partners on and off. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I wanted to tell your listeners how important "being there" is, for your children. My husband called me at 12:35 to tell me he had a dinner with his father and would be home a little late that night. I was having so much fun enjoying my children, and thought of you. I noticed how many times each kid would come over to me and either look me in my eyes, touch me, climb on me, ask a question, tell me something they knew and more. There were so many ways they communicated with me - and it amazed me to think of what these "moms" are missing. I thought it would be fun to count how many times one of my twins 'communicated' with me from that time in the day, until my husband came home at 8:30ish. So I chose one twin and counted - for the rest of the afternoon. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>This ONE child would do many things to communicate. Some of those things included: climbing on my leg and crawling away to play put his arms out to me to pick him up and then 'ask' to be put right back down to play again a second later shaking a toy until it got my attention and I smiled at him and then he would go back to playing, whining when he hurt himself trying to stand and falling back down - because he wanted me to tell him it was OK - and he went right back to playing reaching up and rubbing my cheek just staring into my eyes for a couple of seconds and so much more I could go on for hours. I was astonished to learn my baby communicated with me over 133 times from 1:00 to 8:30. But what made me the most happy that I am staying at home, was not the fact they needed a play buddy, but the fact that most of this contact was my baby needing reassurance I was there for him, in one way or another - and I was. I imagined him looking into a stranger or babysitter's eyes in the same way; touching her hand instead of mine; crying when he fell, only to be ignored or minimally comforted. It breaks my heart to know these career women who insist their child is better off to be in day care, will NEVER know what they are missing. Most importantly, they will NEVER know how much their CHILD is missing. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thank you for helping some of us see we have the most important job in the world.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>M.</p>
<p></p>
Staff
2011-04-20T05:29:00Z
Poems: Welcome Home Vietnam Vets & Some Gave All
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Poems:-Welcome-Home-Vietnam-Vets--Some-Gave-All/7728.html
2011-04-19T03:27:00Z
2011-04-19T03:27:00Z
<img class="blog-icon-large" alt="Icon" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" />
<p></p>
<strong>Welcome Home Vietnam Vets</strong><br />
<br />
<br />
Yesterday, because of your efforts, I witnessed renewed life,<br />
<br />
the redemption of heroic men<br />
<br />
forgotten by their country , family and friends.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
You made a difference that blew through the halls of darkness<br />
<br />
Cast out shadows, exploded hallowed chambers<br />
<br />
and filled them with once again with light and hope.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I saw dead men resurrected, alive again.<br />
<br />
Their dignity and tears displayed like the medals they earned in battle.<br />
<br />
Old wounds finally closed,<br />
<br />
battle scars miraculous healed<br />
<br />
and hearts beaming with long over due pride.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
You did all this, you made a difference,<br />
<br />
you ended their pain by opening up your hearts, your time and your school<br />
<br />
and welcoming them home.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
By your efforts you rocked your world,<br />
<br />
the aftershocks and tremors opened up old wounds<br />
<br />
and closed them with one swift and final jolt,<br />
<br />
and the ensuing cleansing tsunami washed away their tears.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a target="_blank" href="http://drlaura.com/LinkClick.aspx?link=http%3a%2f%2fwww.thebrightonblade.com%2fcontent%2fprairie-view-high-school-honor-vietnam-veterans&tabid=105&mid=447">THANK YOU PRAIRIE VIEW HIGH SCHOOL - YOU ROCK!!!</a><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Some Gave All</strong><br />
<br />
<br />
Some gave eyes, arms and legs,<br />
<br />
all predestined by their fate.<br />
<br />
Some gave up dreams, their youth,<br />
<br />
and women who wouldn't wait.<br />
<br />
Some lost it all, some held on tight,<br />
<br />
And some gave in to hate.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
And some gave up their very lives.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Yet, all gave some.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
No heroes welcome home<br />
<br />
met their weary eyes.<br />
<br />
No ticker tape parades,<br />
<br />
No paper floating from the skies.<br />
<br />
No bands playing the anthem<br />
<br />
To welcome back these guys.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Forgotten their heroic deeds,<br />
<br />
By media's own device.<br />
<br />
Forgotten were the POW/MIA<br />
<br />
We forgot their sacrifice.<br />
<br />
All forgotten heroes,<br />
These Men who'd paid the price.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
And some gave up their very lives.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Yet, all gave some.<br />
<br />
You're not welcome here,<br />
<br />
You can't come in this place.<br />
<br />
Aren't you ashamed of yourself?<br />
<br />
You're such a huge disgrace.<br />
<br />
We're not proud of your patriotism<br />
<br />
How dare you show your face?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Shunned by Veteran of Foreign Wars,<br />
<br />
Their loyalty suppressed.<br />
<br />
Criticized by family and friends,<br />
<br />
And slandered by the press,<br />
<br />
Abandoned by their countrymen,<br />
<br />
True, sadly, we confess.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
They stuffed away their valiant deeds<br />
<br />
The things that they did best.<br />
<br />
They stuffed away their medals and uniforms<br />
<br />
In old forgotten chests.<br />
<br />
They stuffed away their memories and dreams,<br />
<br />
All hidden like the rest.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Rejected, some took their own lives.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Yet, all gave some.<br />
<br />
Years pass, decades fly<br />
<br />
How quickly time goes by.<br />
<br />
Young men grow old, sometimes alone<br />
<br />
As young dreams die.<br />
<br />
The effects of the war wear on them<br />
<br />
And many said goodbye.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
An idea conceived,<br />
<br />
A careful, thoughtful plan,<br />
<br />
By youthful high school students<br />
<br />
And mentors doing all they can.<br />
<br />
Yet, this simple act of kindness<br />
<br />
Brought pride back to the man.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
And some gave up their very lives.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Yet, all gave some.<br />
<br />
A new day dawns<br />
<br />
A smile is on their face.<br />
<br />
No longer humiliation and shame,<br />
<br />
No longer their disgrace.<br />
<br />
Your simple act of kindness<br />
<br />
Has insured their rightful place.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
And some gave up their very lives.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Yet, all gave some.<br />
<br />
And somewhere in death's battlefield<br />
<br />
Where heroic deeds are measured.<br />
<br />
Where sacrifice, duty and honor<br />
<br />
their values fully treasured.<br />
<br />
Sleep goodly men! You gave it all!<br />
<br />
Redeemed and surely pleasured.<br />
<br />
<br />
Mary Dunne<br />
<br />
April 9, 2011<br />
<p></p>
<p><a href="http://drlaura.com/LinkClick.aspx?link=http%3a%2f%2fwww.achildsviewintonf.blogspot.com%2f&tabid=105&mid=447" target="_parent"></a></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2011-04-19T03:27:00Z
Elementary School Helps Japan
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Elementary-School-Helps-Japan/7729.html
2011-04-16T06:31:00Z
2011-04-16T06:31:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p></p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p > My name is Kevin and I'm from California. I go to elementary school and in our 5th grade class we have done a fundraiser. We made bracelets and asked a donation of five dollars to help the victims in Japan's earthquake. We raised over $1,800 to help aide Japan. We made banners and signs to raise awareness of it. All the proceeds go to the American Red Cross. If you can help us get our story/ message out to your viewers/ readers it may inspire others to get involved. My hope is, in this world of me, me, me, and I, I, I more kids/ students will choose to get involved in service projects to help others.</p>
<p> <br />
Sincerely,</p>
<p > Kevin</p>
<p><a target="_parent" href="http://drlaura.com/LinkClick.aspx?link=http%3a%2f%2fwww.achildsviewintonf.blogspot.com%2f&tabid=105&mid=447"></a></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2011-04-16T06:31:00Z
An Inspiring Young Woman!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/An-Inspiring-Young-Woman!/7730.html
2011-04-14T06:06:00Z
2011-04-14T06:06:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>I wanted to let you know about my daughter Bailey, who has a condition called Neurofibromatosis. This condition affects the nervous system AND every cell in the body. It causes tumors to form inside and outside of the body, leading to severe problems. For my daughter, the tumors formed in her brain. While she has severe learning challenges, she has an understanding that goes beyond comprehension! She inspires me everyday and helps me realize that there are far worse things in life, and that we are a truly blessed family!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thank you so much for helping this mama be one that focuses on the family. I stay home with my (gulp) SIX kids, teaching them and raising them to be strong and confident people.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>We spend every Wednesday (all day) at the Children's Hospital, with Bailey hooked up to a port IV, receiving chemotherapy for a nasty little tumor caused by NF.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This life is a short one....and all I can hope, is that I am doing all I can do, to make it the best life possible!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>All My best<br />
<br />
</p>
<p>Kristi<br />
<br />
</p>
<p>Here is Bailey's Blog, she keeps, to journal her way through the complications she experiences: <a href="http://drlaura.com/LinkClick.aspx?link=http%3a%2f%2fwww.achildsviewintonf.blogspot.com%2f&tabid=105&mid=447" target="_parent">www.achildsviewintonf.blogspot.com</a></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2011-04-14T06:06:00Z
Wall Street Journal Article About Working Moms
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Wall-Street-Journal-Article-About-Working-Moms/7731.html
2011-04-13T04:39:00Z
2011-04-13T04:39:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Recently, the Wall Street Journal included a special section about women in the economy. I was intrigued by a quote on the front page from Sallie Krawcheck, the president of global wealth and investment management at Bank of America. She said, "I convinced my husband that when the toddler woke up in the middle of the night and screamed, "Mommy," he actually meant, "Parent of either sex.""<br />
<br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I flipped to the full interview and was astonished at what I read. Here is an excerpt:<br />
<br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">MR. MURRAY: You've talked about how demanding the Wall Street life is. Weighing that against the demand of the kids at home, did you ever reach the point where you said, "You know what, there are other things I could do?" Did you ever think it's not worth the effort?<br />
<br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">MS. KRAWCHECK: I was fortunate in that I had a career break in my 20s. So I wandered through my 20s not knowing what I wanted to do, was in investment banking for a period of time and left my job when I was pregnant with my son. I was very much on the track of, "I'll probably do some part-time nonprofit work, maybe some part-time for-profit work, and really stay at home with my son."<br />
<br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">A few months in, I found myself on my hands and knees trying to teach him to crawl. And then there was another day when some friends went to play doubles tennis and it upset me that I wasn't included. Those two things happened. I said, "I cannot do this to my family. It's not fair to them, and I need to work."<br />
<br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">MR. MURRAY: Elaborate on what you mean by "I cannot do this to my family."<br />
<br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">MS. KRAWCHECK: I've just got too much energy to do that to that poor kid. Let me do that to our clients. Let me do it to the folks that are paid to work with me. I have too much of that neurotic energy. So I really have never questioned whether it's right for me and for my family to work.<br />
<br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">MR. MURRAY: After that, you never felt guilt?<br />
<br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">MS. KRAWCHECK: When you leave and the three-year-old is crying, "Don't go Mommy, don't go," you have to have a heart of stone not to feel guilt. But I never showed fear. I had a certainty that I loved what I was doing. It was good for my family. And so I was pretty steady about it.<br />
<br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Wow. First of all, I have never met a three-year-old who wouldn't benefit from a mother with "too much energy." Second of all, after expending all her "neurotic energy" at work and tennis with her friends, what does she have left to give her family?<br />
<br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I, too, used to have a successful Wall Street career which I left behind after the birth of my son. Sure it was hard giving up the perks of a 6-figure income and the status that came with it, but I am so honored to stay at home with my beautiful children! Ms. Krawcheck says "I cannot do this to my family. It' s not fair to them, and I need to work." I say "I MUST do this for my family. It's not fair to them if I work, and I need to stay home."<br />
<br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Thank you for helping stay-at-home moms find validation. <br />
<br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Best,<br />
<br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Gretchen</p>
<p></p>
Staff
2011-04-13T04:39:00Z
"Everything Happens for a Reason" vs Free Will
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Everything-Happens-for-a-Reason-vs-Free-Will/7732.html
2011-04-12T02:20:00Z
2011-04-12T02:20:00Z
<img class="blog-icon-large" alt="Icon" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" />
<p> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Hi, Dr. Laura, <br />
<br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I am a licensed therapist and have listened to you since 1992. You have helped me to become a great clinician.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I got into a discussion with one of my friends and wanted to share with you a facebook status I posted.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">'Everything Happens for a Reason' is a good philosophy to keep you stuck and immobile during times of crisis, stress, or regret.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">There is a lot of talk about "Everything happening for a reason". The most recent irking article I read was about the reactions of the contestants getting kicked of American Idol. Most recently Pia (a crowd favorite for season 10) lost in early round elimination and now is using the self soothing mantra salve of "it happened for a reason." There is a reason. She got kicked off because people didn't vote for her. </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">God has other things to do than influence games, voting outcomes, or what we eat for breakfast. People want an all influential force guiding their actions but then in the process neglect the concept of free will in that process. By default free will equals mistakes, sadness, poor choices and ultimately by direct result, poor outcomes (as well as positive outcomes of course). By free will people didn't vote for her and she lost. There is a direct correlation here. </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">It wasn't a cosmic plan of destiny. Her next action steps (free will) to how she reacts to this situation then determines the next course of action and outcome. She can sit in a dark room boo-hooing the perceived intervention of the "Adjustment Bureau" on her destiny or she channel that into next steps. <br />
<br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">This same situation applies to us every day, multiple times a day. We may just not recognize our choice has an outcome based on what we did or did not choose. Or what is even more frightening, what other people chose as their course of action. It is much easier to say, "it happened for a reason" because some outcomes are just plain regretful.<br />
<br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">There was a guy about to drown in a flood. He climbed onto his roof and he prayed to God to save him. The water rose to his waist.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">A few minutes later a boat came and offered to pick him up and take him to shore. The drowning man refused saying, "God will provide..." and the boat left. The water rose to his chest.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Another boat came and offered to save the man and he refused saying "God will guide me on my path..." and the boat left. The water rose to his neck.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Finally, a third boat came and said "I can help you." Once again the drowning man said no, saying "I am in God's hands as everything happens for a reason" and the boat left.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Glub glub glub</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">After the man died he found himself before God and said, "I trusted you. Why didn't you save me?"</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">And God said,"I sent you 3 boats."</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">We may have opportunities, but outcome is based on free will... Or there is no point. As it so happens, you just read that for a reason.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Thanks for all you do. You have helped raise me to do the right thing over the years. </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Best regards, </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Dave</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2011-04-12T02:20:00Z
He's Coming Home!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hes-Coming-Home!/7733.html
2011-04-08T06:11:00Z
2011-04-08T06:11:00Z
<img class="blog-icon-large" alt="Icon" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" />
<p> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Dr Laura, </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">In October 2010, my husband left my son and I... I was devastated. I knew we didn't get along but there was no cheating or physical abuse so I never thought he'd leave. How naive to think he'd stay and spend a life with a miserable wife! </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">So I went to my Mother in law (his best friend) and she shared I was not loving, kind and supportive, but most of all I never put my husband first. So I started to work on myself and now I am more happy, confident and vibrant. I am not the mean person I once was. I knew my relationship with my husband was improving but still felt I had blew it and he'd never come home. Dr. Laura yesterday he told me he has seen me change and gave notice at his apt. By the end of the month he will be moved back home!!!! I cannot believe what a difference it makes to stop focusing on the other person and work on yourself. Once YOU Change your life stars to follow. Thank you Dr. Laura for all of your years of advice. </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">A.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2011-04-08T06:11:00Z
Worst Child Abuse Seen . . .
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Worst-Child-Abuse-Seen-.-.-.-/7734.html
2011-04-07T06:06:00Z
2011-04-07T06:06:00Z
<img class="blog-icon-large" alt="Icon" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" />
<p> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Dear Dr Laura <br />
<br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">A few days ago you posted a question regarding what is the worst case of child abuse each listener has seen and what did he or she do about it? Your question reminded me of an incident that bothers me today, almost exactly 20 years later. </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I was in Boston, with my husband for a day trip (we were both about 25). My mother was babysitting our 10 month old daughter. We boarded the bus back to Providence (about an hour away) and were settled in peacefully as the bus started its journey. Within a few minutes I heard a piercing scream, followed by a sharp intake of breath. Soft weeping. Another scream. I turned around in my seat and saw what was going on. An approximately eight year old girl was seated between a muscular man and a worn looking woman, both in their mid-20s. The man was gripping a pinch of skin and muscle on the girl's thigh between his thumb and forefinger, and giving it a vicious twist. She would cry, her mother would weakly say "Joe, stop it" and the sadist would go in for another twist. From my viewpoint of the people involved, I concluded he was her boyfriend or the stepfather of the child. <br />
<br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">My blood boiled. I stood up and pointed at him. "STOP IT. Stop it right now. Don't you touch that girl again or I'll stop this bus and have the driver call the police." "I'm not doing anything." He stood up and glowered at me. "They are mine. Keep your f-ing mouth shut." I was so angry that I kept yelling at him and at her "Don't let him do that to your child!" Everyone else on the bus was quite, looking away almost as if nothing at all was going on. Indeed, their lack of reaction confused me. My husband, worried about my safety, tugged on me to sit down. The bus pulled over. The driver came back, slowly, annoyed. "What do you want me to do? You want to make a complaint? Then I'll have to drive this bus to the nearest police station and all these good people are going to arrive into Providence 3 or 4 hours late It'll be 1 a.m.." I thought about my own baby, waiting for me. The driver's obvious resentment also influenced me. And shamefully I said, "Let's go to Providence." The 'boyfriend' moved to another seat and the ride was quiet. He hustled off the bus just before the Rhode Island line, swearing at me "See what you made me do, nosy bitch?" (Perhaps he was afraid I would call the cops if he came into the station with me.) <br />
<br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I have been upset about this from time to time for the last 20 years. I didn't force the bus to go to the police. Perhaps I could have saved that girl from years of torment at the hands of a brute. *Sigh*</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">E.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2011-04-07T06:06:00Z
Facebook Can be Dangerous on a Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Facebook-Can-be-Dangerous-on-a-Marriage/7735.html
2011-04-06T06:01:00Z
2011-04-06T06:01:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Dr. Laura,</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">You were right when you told a husband and wife Facebook has dangers. You told them both to close their accounts. I have many friends who do an alternative activity. They have a joint account at Facebook. Both their names are on one account. The Facebook name will be for example Jack Jill Smith. So each comment they make they sign the individual name. (If Jill comments then she signs) This enables both to see all comments and all private messages. And gives a unified image to all their friends.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">My husband and I have separate accounts. We see all comments the other makes and if we receive private messages from members of the opposite sex we forward them to each other through our email accounts. We are both very open about who we are friends with. And both of our pages have at the top left. "Married to" with the other's name and photo. My husband has a gloriously funny sense of humor. Friends from all over the world sign in daily to read his daily postings and laugh.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I am very grateful for my Facebook account!! I have 700 FB. friends. These are people I know personally and have had in-person good times with. (I'm picky at who I let be my friends).</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">When I moved to Moscow, Russia 3 years ago my young adult daughter set up my account, taught me how to navigate, upload photos, upload videos, and how to copy photos from her account and keep them on my computer. The transition to Moscow was a difficult one, to have daily contact with friends in other parts of the world gave me a solid confidence to go out and make new friends. And when I shared my challenges they cheered me on.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">This year my husband and I moved to Vienna, Austria. Our four children live in Utah, England, China and Hawaii. Facebook enables them to upload photos of their adventures quickly and easily and helps us feel more involved in their lives. (emailing photos as attachments takes forever.) (China girl can't always access her Facebook account so she blogs)</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I have let a few high school male friends be-friend me on Facebook. I give them a 30 day trial. If their comments are dicey or flirtatious I un-friend them instantly.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I am very thankful for your Podcasts. I was a loyal daily listener to you in the 80's and early 90's. (I would tape record them if I couldn't listen) Then we lived in England for 11 years and I went through "Mother Laura" withdrawals. I enjoy receiving the benefits of being a part of your family.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Thanks for making a difference in the world. I am so pleased that through your influence many women are discovering the joys of being their children's primary care giver. I was my children's full-time mom before I found you.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I chose wisely in a husband and haven't done anything to mess up my life.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">So listening to you reminds me how good I am doing. And keeps me being my husband's best friend and sweetheart.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Thanks So Much!!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">S.</p>
<p></p>
Staff
2011-04-06T06:01:00Z
I Have an Amazing Gift
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Have-an-Amazing-Gift/7736.html
2011-04-05T05:39:00Z
2011-04-05T05:39:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Dear Dr. Laura</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I have recently become a stay at home mother with the birth of my first child. I could not be happier with my decision. My husband and I planned for this, we have a house that we could afford on one income, we payed off all our debt before having our child, we put all of my income in our savings account. My decision to stay home and raise our child was further reinforced when our son was born 3 months premature. I had resigned from my job while I was on hospital bedrest trying to prolong the pregnancy as long as possible. Without being tied to a job I was able to be with my son everyday while he was in the NICU. Once he was home we were in quarantine for months to keep him healthy over the winter. There is no way he would have made it through the winter illness free if I had had to go to work.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I will not lie; it was a hard transition from the working world to being at home. I was not prepared for the feelings of isolation and missed seeing my friends on a regular basis. I also struggled with feeling bonded with my child because for so long I had to ask permission to touch my child. I know if he had been put in daycare I would have continued to struggle with feeling connected to him. The bonding did happen, it took a lot of work on my part. I knew once we were allowed to leave the house things would improve, and they have. I enjoy each and everyday with my son. We now are able to go to a mom and baby exercise class three mornings a week and I am meeting other stay at home moms. I have been so lucky to watch my son go from a tiny 2 pound baby fighting for life into a chubby 16 pound 8 month old. He amazes me everyday with all that he learns and does. I often thank my husband for letting me stay home. He tells me our son is the lucky one since he has a mommy who takes such good care of him. </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">All my friends and sister-in-laws are working mothers. Many of them ask me if I miss working. I reply with a simple "not at all". Many of them try and justify working by saying it makes them better mothers or they are being good role models for their own children or they spent too much on their education to just "throw it away". I feel they feel guilty about not being there for their children all day. I wonder what exactly they are role modeling for their children, that mommy's work is more important than spending time with them? I too spent a lot of money on my education, I don't feel like I threw it away (I was a pediatric therapist), I feel my education gave me a skill set to be a good mother to my child. I enjoy the simplicity of my life now. There is no stress about paperwork, deadlines, scheduling clients, and long hours. Now I have the amazing gift of waking up each morning to a smiling cooing little boy who snuggles into my neck each time I pick him up. I am so blessed! My mother-in-law recently gave me your book "In Praise of Stay At Home Mothers" I LOVE it! Thank you so much for writing it. It is nice to have the support.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Sincerely,</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Oliver's Mom</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2011-04-05T05:39:00Z
Former Fraidy Cat!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Former-Fraidy-Cat!/7737.html
2011-04-02T07:31:00Z
2011-04-02T07:31:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p></p>
<title></title>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Dear Dr. Mother Laura,</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">How I wish I had made the call to you ten years ago!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I am the gal who called you this week wanting your advice on whether or not I should attend an upcoming family reunion. You may recall I was very hesitant to go because of an older brother who molested me when I was 5 would also be there.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">You told me to stop running and hiding. You told me to start acting like a grown woman and told me to quit acting as if I were so fragile. Best advice I have ever been given because it will likely help me rewrite my future. I did exactly as you said and immediately called him as soon as I hung up with you! </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">When I dialed his number I realized how right you were, my heart pounding out of my chest I faced the fact it was indeed fear that had kept me from doing this. Other than a letter 8 years prior, stating I forgave him, I had never faced this. After the letter I became more fearful I suppose, more fearful he was willing to pretend it never happened, more fearful he was too proud to ever admit wrong and apologize. So I went all these years thinking if he wasn't willing to say he was sorry then he did not deserve to be around me or to be a part of my life.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I called him and let him know I would be coming to the reunion but first would like an apology. He stated he had apologized about 10 years ago. A few minutes into the call he admitted to being very vague in his apology and that it was also delivered to me at a time when I was very upset and emotional about something completely unrelated to this wrongdoing. He also does not recall the letter.<br />
<br />
</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">He proceeded to apologize for not having been specific and then came the specific apology for the molestation. It was more sincere than I ever imagined and he even offered to speak in front of the whole family at the reunion of his act ions. I assured him that would not be necessary, he had only needed to speak the words to me.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I wasted many years of watching his precious children grow practically into adults but I know the next 10 years, thanks to you, can be different! No more missed milestones for us all, no more frustration, no more running and hiding! </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">But best of all, you and I agreed after you helping me with this ONE more thing, I'd be perfect! So gee, when you need that poster child... you know my number...because it's all feeling pretty perfect to me!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">THANK YOU DR. LAURA!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">You're truly my hero!</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;"></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 0in;">S.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2011-04-02T07:31:00Z
Life's Synchronicities
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lifes-Synchronicities/7738.html
2011-04-01T06:00:00Z
2011-04-01T06:00:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p></p>
<p>Dr. Laura, </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I sent the following e-mail to all in my address book but I just think you can reach more on this very important matter and I would appreciate it if you could at least share the information. Thank you, Debbie.</p>
<br />
<br />
I need to tell my story and would appreciate it if you would forward this to all the lady friends or loved ones you know who have ladies they care about. It could save their life. I am sending this to everyone in my address book....I am not looking for sympathy, I am only trying to help. I will be fine. I just want to try to help others with this and I know God is caring for me.<br />
<br />
I am in the insurance business. During the months of November and December, I am extremely busy assisting folks with their Medicare questions and changes. In December a lady and her husband were in my office discussing Medicare and when they were about to leave, she decided to tell me her story about breast cancer. She said she always had her mammograms and one day she found a 6 cm lump on the side of her breast. She had stage 4 cancer. The doctors told her to make her final arrangements. She told them they don't get to make that decision, it was up to her Lord. She found a doctor who believed her when she said she wanted to live and it was God's will for her to live. This doctor treated her with chemo, radiation, the works. She never had to have surgery, the tumor disappeared. She went through a lot of torture with the treatment but she knew it could be beat. When she finished the story, she looked at me point blank and said, "You know mammograms don't read the sides, don't you?" No, I didn't. This was a week after I had had a mammogram. From that point on, I checked, almost daily. Two weeks ago, I found a lump. It was thought to be a cyst and the doctor tried to excise it and there was no fluid and took a needle biopsy. It was malignant.<br />
<br />
Had I not been checking, this could have gone on for years. Please, ladies, husbands of ladies and daughters who you care about, check yourself constantly on the sides especially if you have mammograms. The doctor tells me mammograms miss 15% of all tumors. Don't let it go on.<br />
<br />
My story will end well. I caught it early and I have surgery this week and probably just radiation. It all depends on whether the cancer has spread to the lymph nodes. Don't wait and let your story NOT end well. God sent this lady to me and I believe He wants me to tell my story to save you or someone you care about.<br />
<br />
Debbie
<p> </p>
Staff
2011-04-01T06:00:00Z
Shacking Up -- In Church!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Shacking-Up----In-Church!/7739.html
2011-03-31T05:58:00Z
2011-03-31T05:58:00Z
<img class="blog-icon-large" alt="Icon" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
</p>
<p> I wanted you to know you became part of our pastor's Sunday sermon this past week. He was giving his sermon based on the week's Gospel lesson about a Samaritan woman at a well whom Jesus came and sat next to. He was talking to her about the husbands she had had and she told him she did not currently have a husband even though she was living with a man. All of a sudden our pastor stopped and said "What does Dr. Laura call that?" (Our pastor is from Helsinki, Finland, and although very, very bilingual he still struggles with some English words.) I and several other devout listeners called out and said "Shacking up!" So you see you are with us not only on air, in print, but also in church!</p>
<p> A devout fan in oh so many ways,</p>
<br />
R
<p> </p>
Staff
2011-03-31T05:58:00Z
My Purpose
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Purpose/7740.html
2011-03-30T03:09:00Z
2011-03-30T03:09:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
Dear Dr. Laura, <br />
<br />
When I brought my first child home from hospital, through all the feelings of tenderness and strength, this thought came to mind: "My Purpose for the next 20 years is to teach this child how to live without me." This became a perfectly simple foundation by which to base all of my parental decisions. <br />
<br />
Epiphany time 24 years later: I recently went into debt for a real nice 50th wedding anniversary party for my ex-inlaws. The unease began when people expressed to me how wonderful I was for doing this. How unusual for a woman to do this for the parents of the man who abandoned us. Dr. Laura, I must admit, as a human "bean", my first inclination was to accept the praise as a reflection of MY goodness. However, my conscience bothered me and I had to get away. Here is the real reason for my "good deed": I am still teaching my children how to live without me. This is a duty that I was ENTRUSTED with by our Creator. <br />
<br />
My children are adults now. It is still my duty to LIFT UP THAT WHICH IS GOOD where they can see. This is a sacred duty to our children. I am so grateful to the parents of my ex husband for being an example of the Sweetest Thing I ever could hope for my children. Now, I look for a second job to pay for it all. Our Sacred duty to our children never stops. It simply changes over time. <br />
<br />
In full support of your Purpose; may it never stop.<br />
<br />
Thank you for helping the Sweetest of Things for your Fellow "Human Beans"! <br />
<br />
Pinto (bean)
<p> </p>
Staff
2011-03-30T03:09:00Z
We Owe Our Son an Apology...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Owe-Our-Son-an-Apology.../7741.html
2011-03-29T04:15:00Z
2011-03-29T04:15:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p> Dr. Laura,</p>
<br />
Almost a year ago we told our son to just worry about himself and DO NOT try to help someone in "need" meaning if he sees a fight at school go tell an adult, don't try to stop it (or if he sees someone being picked on), after he got suspended for helping another student to get his hat back from some jerk who took it. The jerk took off after our son and our son did what he has been told to do defend himself. Then it took two more times before this kid learned not to mess with our son, he apparently decided our son was a better target... After two more suspensions (our son defending himself) we just got tired and told him to FORGET what we had taught him for the first 10 years of his life.<br />
<br />
I now see that was a HUGE mistake this was our "lazy" way out of having to be called into the principal's office... I will be apologizing tomorrow to my son and having a long talk with him. We parents need to remember our morals and beliefs and pass them on to our children not just sit back because it is easier that way. Also, need to remember that just because it is a "school rule" doesn't make it right. Best example is the STUPID RULE that our children not fight back and defend themselves when another student hits them, let me tell you I would rather pick up my children from school facing a suspension than to pick them up all bloodied and bruised because they "followed the school rules"...and like last year the day off will be one of fun and celebration.<br />
<br />
(I did tell our son last year IN FRONT OF THE PRINCIPAL that I was very happy to be picking him up and not see him all bloodied and bruised...the principal interrupted me and said that was not appropriate. I then told him I was talking to my son and while I understood the school's position, I did not agree with them, and to please not interrupt me then continued my praise to my son) I just hope this helps parents to remember to do the right thing - not the "easy" thing...<br />
<br />
Debby
<p></p>
Staff
2011-03-29T04:15:00Z
Different Definitions of a Clean House
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/-Different-Definitions-of-a-Clean-House/7742.html
2011-03-26T05:46:00Z
2011-03-26T05:46:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p></p>
Dear Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
The other day I asked my husband whether he'd prefer having the house be perfectly clean when he came home or having me in bed. He said both. I persisted. I then had to explain what "perfectly clean" meant.<br />
<br />
I realized his definition is not the same as mine and that's perhaps why when I ask him to clean the house, he seems to not do quite the job that I would like. (However, I realize he is wonderful for even doing any housework at all and with a good attitude too!) The great thing about the difference in our opinions is when I think I have done only an okay job on the house, he says that is looks immaculate, fantastic, etc., and is very flattering. <br />
<br />
I never would have thought that not agreeing on what a clean house should be, could be so beneficial to a marriage. I must have the sweetest man in the world.<br />
<br />
Sincerely, <br />
<br />
AJ<br />
<br />
PS He did decide he would rather have me instead of the perfect house.
<p></p>
Staff
2011-03-26T05:46:00Z
Ahoy Neighbor
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ahoy-Neighbor/7743.html
2011-03-25T06:44:00Z
2011-03-25T06:44:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Hi,</p>
<br />
I've never called or emailed before but I am my kids' Mom and have wanted to contact you for a while but hadn't gotten around to it yet with a 15-month-old and 3-year-old keeping me very busy. When I saw your boat, Katana, docked just a few slips down from me today, I had to write. <br />
<br />
First off, we live aboard our boat so if there is anything you need while visiting SDYC, please let us know. My 3-year-old son and I were admiring Katana tonight as we walked by. <br />
<br />
My husband and I married almost 10 years ago now and just 6 months into the marriage bought our first sailboat together that would end up taking us across the Pacific and back over a period of 3 years. What started as a 6 month trip into Mexico ended up taking us beyond our wildest dreams into the South Pacific, as far south as New Zealand. We conceived our first child while in the Marshall Islands and then began our 5,000 nm + trip back across the Pacific. Since we only planned a 6 month trip into Mexico, and had wanted to do it sooner than later (wanting to start a family soon), we didn't have many of the luxuries many cruisers have. So, our 41 day passage was just my hubby and me...and our little stow away baby in my belly. We could listen to our short wave radio but could not transmit, had no email, nor sat phone. During this time, you entertained me every day during one of my long 6 hour shift on watch. In fact, my shift was scheduled around when you aired on the Armed Forces radio because it helped me get through my long shifts when I was having the worst morning sickness and so ready to get off the boat. I wanted to thank you for keeping me company and giving me things to think about. <br />
<br />
I also wanted to echo your claim that it IS possible to be a stay at home mom, regardless of circumstances. Heck, we managed to quit work for THREE years to go cruising and together my husband and I were making less than 80K before leaving. Now, we live aboard our boat (sadly but practically a power boat at this time), and I stay home with our two beautiful children. We hope and plan to move "up" to a sailboat in the next few years so we can once again cruise to the South Pacific and introduce our children to another world out there.<br />
<br />
Granted, there are things we go without but it is worth it. Unfortunately part of that is missing your program now that you've moved to satellite radio, but I still enjoy snippits of you through your emails, blog, and stories relayed from your program by one of my girlfriends.<br />
<br />
Anyhow, just wanted to let you know how much you were a part of our lives during our sailing adventures (particularly our long passages).<br />
<br />
Cheers,<br />
<br />
S.
<p></p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2011-03-25T06:44:00Z
Take What Time You Get
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Take-What-Time-You-Get/7744.html
2011-03-24T06:05:00Z
2011-03-24T06:05:00Z
<img class="blog-icon-large" alt="Icon" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" />
<p> </p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
I called in to your show last year right before Mother's day. My "dilemma" was my daughter spent all of the holidays with her in-laws. I am not sure if you remember the call, but I was one of those "whiners" you always talk about. After talking with you for awhile, you convinced me so what if I don't get the "holidays" just enjoy all the other times I have with her and her family. You also told me not to be so persnickety (oh boy you hit the nail on that one)! I want to thank you for that advice as I had so much more awesome times with her and when I told her I had spoken to you she could not believe it! </p>
<p> </p>
<p>We had many, many, gatherings since then (in fact more than the in-laws)! </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I want you to know I just buried my baby (my daughter) March 17th after being diagnosed with Stage IV Melanoma two weeks after giving birth to my second grandson. She was my only child, 30yrs old and left behind two babies 3yrs and 5mos and a wonderful husband. I can't thank you enough for the advice you gave me and please pass this on to other mothers who bicker over time with their adult children. Take what time you can get and make the best of it. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thank you so much for the advice as it gave me much more time than I could ever expect! God Bless you....<br />
<br />
Cyndi</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2011-03-24T06:05:00Z
More Than a Lifesaver!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/More-Than-a-Lifesaver!/7745.html
2011-03-23T03:16:00Z
2011-03-23T03:16:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p > I just wanted to write to tell you how much I have enjoyed your book, "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands". It has been a true marriage saver for my husband and me. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>A year ago my husband began to be interested in a mutual female friend. When his feelings were brought to the surface my question to him was, "Why?" His response was, "You just shut down on me and I had no where to turn or anyone to talk to." I didn't understand what he meant?? We had four children, I was working very hard to keep the roof over our head, the meals made, kids here, kids there. I struggled with the aspect that he thought I had shut him out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Since then, we have worked hard at moving forward. I quit my job, we moved closer to extended family as we both agree family is important. After all of this, I was still struggling and felt a sense of emptiness. I am an adult child of an alcoholic (my father), and I have tried to deal with my co-dependent issues and how they have effected my relationships with those around me. I was a toxic mess. I have worked hard at healing but I forgot one critical area to heal....my marriage. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was not until I picked up your book, "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands," I realized just how much I was trying to control my husband and everything he did or didn't do. I would expect him to "read my mind" as to what I wanted for holidays, date nights even down to expecting him to make the first moves in the bedroom. I was judgmental and so selfish. Reading your book brought so many answers to my "Why?" question from almost a year ago. I put myself in his shoes and thought about the things I had said to him and it broke my heart!! If he would have said those things to me, it would have devastated me. Yet, he stood beside me and continued to love me despite the self-absorbed bitch I had become. I was VERY humbled and when we had some time alone I looked him straight in the eyes and not only apologized for all the hurt but also asked his forgiveness. The look in his eyes was priceless!! He gave me a huge hug and accepted my apology and forgiveness. I have worked very hard from that point on to be there for him and then our children. We have 3 sons and 1 daughter and I want to teach all of them how important it is to nurture and not let society stimulate or pressure them into how they should be as a person, mate, parent, etc. I fell into that trap so many years ago and again, Dr. Laura, thank you for throwing me a rope when I was in the pit with your book. It was more than a lifesaver!! </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Blessings to you! </p>
<p> </p>
<p>E.</p>
Staff
2011-03-23T03:16:00Z
Humbling Inspiration from Japan
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Humbling-Inspiration-from-Japan/7746.html
2011-03-22T05:43:00Z
2011-03-22T05:43:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />Dear Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
Having made Japan my home for nearly half of my 41 years, your words of respect towards my adopted country in this time of terrible tragedy were very moving for me, and I wanted to share with you a story of inspiration I doubt has made it to any of the foreign news outlets.<br />
<br />
In the days following the devastating earthquakes, tsunami, and the subsequent nuclear emergency, we were witness to unscrupulous international news jackals fabricating sensationalistic stories of a nuclear Armageddon solely to boost ratings, despite the fact they fueled an already growing panic within Japan. Wealthy expatriates urgently called their embassies demanding action from their home countries. They demanded help not in the form of assistance for the stricken areas, but for their own immediate evacuation from Tokyo, a city more than six times the distance widely considered safe from ANY radiation danger. And it was against this backdrop that my friends and I were witness to an amazing act of courage, humility, and strength of the likes we've never seen.<br />
<br />
The scene was simple enough - a Japanese news crew filmed a small country school where students gathered for their junior high school graduation. The kids were walking to the front of the class in their uniforms, bowing deeply in front of their sensei as they humbly accepted their diplomas. But these kids weren't just any kids they were at a school right in the middle of the devastated quake zone. And what made this even more moving and inspirational was the fact that several of these very kids had just lost their parents in the deadly waves of the tsunami.<br />
<br />
And yet, these kids did not complain about what they had lost. They did not gripe about what they should be entitled to. They received their diplomas with humility and respect they felt the situation deserved. They were respecting their teacher, their fellow students, those parents able to attend, and themselves. Their strength and poise moved us deeply. There wasn't a dry eye amongst us.<br />
<br />
I cannot help but feel humbled.<br />
<br />
Kind regards,<br />
<br />
Keith
Staff
2011-03-22T05:43:00Z
Warning, Working Doesn't Work!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Warning,-Working-Doesnt-Work!/7747.html
2011-03-19T04:05:00Z
2011-03-19T04:05:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />I wish I would have known about you fifteen years ago when I was deciding how I was going to raise my family, it would have absolutely changed the outcome of my life. Please let my story be a warning to the listeners debating on whether they should stay home and be a REAL MOM or make the mistake & choose a career. <br />
<br />
I was raised women should work at an outside job and raise a family. When I married in 1994 that was also the opinion of my husband and discussion about the matter was not even considered, I would work. My husband made good money and we could have had a nice life on his salary, but the importance of "stature and needful things" took priority over being with our children. <br />
<br />
In 1996 I gave birth to my first daughter and after a short period of time she went to a day orphanage. At that time I thought everything was normal and this was the way "Modern Women" functioned. I began to make big money in my business and quickly those "needful things" began pouring in. In 1999 we moved into a mansion, had a Country Club membership, expensive cars, etc. We also joined the "Party-Set" of our community and instead of having family time, we were having parties and going out. <br />
<br />
I got pregnant and gave birth to a second daughter in September 2000. Although I had not partied at all during my pregnancy, my husband kept up his normal speed of drinking. I wasn't allowed to take the normal time allocated to working mothers because the business would have suffered and our income possibly could be affected. So at two weeks old I packed up my newborn and took her to work where she was cared for by the other women in my office, (she joined her sister at the day orphanage two months later). <br />
<br />
I found out one month after the birth, my husband had sex with my assistant in our home upstairs while I slept downstairs with the children. To say the least I was devastated, but convinced by others men sometimes cheat; and think of all the material things I would lose if I divorced. I decided to stay, keep working and ignore the screaming inside of me say, "This is not the way to live your life!" <br />
<br />
Over the next five years I dealt with my wrong life by working, drinking and eventually becoming a prescription pill addict. When my husband figured out how bad off I was, he shipped me off to various rehabs and programs, none worked. We separated in fall 2005 and because of my addictions I had to leave our home and my children. My story over the next years was something out of a Lifetime movie and I won't go into details, but I lost custody of my girls and had very limited time with them. My ex-husband remarried and had another child, and yes, his new wife is a Career Mom who has someone else raising her child. <br />
<br />
I am sober and have been for years now, by God's Grace. My girls are now 14 and 10 and I have missed so much of their lives, moments I will never get back. I see them weekly and I cherish every moment I can be with them, but I would do anything to turn back the clock and be the stay at home Mom. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, future Moms who are thinking about working outside of the home, DO NOT! Be "Your Kids Mom" and enjoy the life I can only dream of.<br />
<br />
L.<br />
Staff
2011-03-19T04:05:00Z
Fighting with My Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fighting-with-My-Husband/7748.html
2011-03-18T06:18:00Z
2011-03-18T06:18:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />I was listening to your 2nd hour of February 24th, which by the way is my birthday. The caller was trying to villainize her husband, and you squashed her by saying it was how she was hurting him first. I related SO MUCH to that caller, up until yesterday when I had an AH-HA moment, and I am sure partly due to listening to you. We have fought (really I have fought) with my husband continually about his sister. The reasons for the fighting are not important really, what's important is I was being foolish, and jealous of how close they are. By the time I finished my work out yesterday morning, and drove to work, his sister had text me, emailed me, and facebooked me happy birthday. She also bought me a pair of gorgeous shoes (my addiction), and she knows how much I love shoes, and made a special point of bringing them over last night. Her kids were awesome, and loving, and I was so happy to be a part of that moment.<br />
<br />
Long story short, at the end of your conversation you told the caller, in order to make her husband feel better don't react with hostility, but with sweetness. I woke up on my birthday mad at him, thinking he would ignore my day (yes I'm a brat sometimes). He emailed me asking how my day was, cooked me a great dinner, with a great dessert, and he was very sweet, and I probably didn't deserve it from the way I have behaved. I realized in that moment I have no need to be insecure about him and his sister, they have a bond I wish I had with a sibling. We went to bed that night, and I did as you suggest to many of your callers, I gently kissed him goodnight, and decided I wanted to show him just how much I appreciated his efforts. Let's just say, it was the best BIRTHDAY EVER!!! He definitely did not kick me out of bed.<br />
<br />
Thank you for all of your advice. I am a very lucky mother of my children and girlfriend to my husband. <br />
<br />
J.
Staff
2011-03-18T06:18:00Z
Over Here in Japan Right Now
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Over-Here-in-Japan-Right-Now/7749.html
2011-03-17T05:51:00Z
2011-03-17T05:51:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />Dear Dr. Laura, <br />
<br />
I have been a listener for years and have emailed you before. My husband is in the Navy and currently in off the coast off Northern Japan assisting in search and rescue efforts. We live in military housing 150 miles south of Tokyo. I am at home with our four kiddos, indoors just to be on the safe side since they detected radiation on our base, but nothing of grave concern. It is truly surreal here. <br />
<br />
What is most amazing are the people: No looting, no riots, just people coming together to help one another and trying to get over the devastation. <br />
<br />
The aftershocks are constant, and just last night we had a pretty good sized earthquake rather than an aftershock. But we are hanging in there. As I write this, I feel like I have changed as a person already. I was a fairly grateful person before this event. I am a stay at home mom, home school my kids and have been my husband's girlfriend for 11 years now, but now being through all this, I have a deeper appreciation for the little things; like having food and water to give my kids. <br />
<br />
I hope Americans can watch this unfold and see that a tragedies like this happen, which is why we need to embrace each other and what we have, rather than focus on what we do not. <br />
<br />
Trying to maintain normal, <br />
<br />
Julie in Japan
Staff
2011-03-17T05:51:00Z
Mentoring Saves Lives
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mentoring-Saves-Lives/7750.html
2011-03-16T06:35:00Z
2011-03-16T06:35:00Z
<img class="blog-icon-large" alt="Icon" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" />Hi, Dr. Laura!<br />
<br />
I heard the call from the Boy Scout leader who you told that the boy he mentored might have ended up in jail without him.<br />
<br />
I wanted to tell you about my dad who is now 82. Growing up, my dad's dad worked 12 hours a day so he hardly ever saw him. His mom was physically and verbally abusive and was probably mentally ill. His parents divorced when he was in high school because his dad was having an affair and everyone knew about it. This was in the 1940's, so you can imagine the devastation during this time period when divorce was so infrequent. <br />
<br />
As a young boy, my dad had a friend who invited him to join the Boy Scouts. His friend's dad was the Boy Scout leader and often invited my dad over to his house. The Boy Scout leader and his wife became second parents to him. My dad will tell you that he remembers vividly one time when he was a young boy the leader's wife let him rest his head on her lap on the sofa and how safe and comforted he felt. He never received any affection from either of his real parents. His real dad never went to any of his Boy Scout functions.<br />
<br />
My dad went through a lot of counseling as an adult for the anger problem that he developed as a result of his childhood. He had a counselor tell him that if he hadn't had the Boy Scout Leader and wife in his life, that he would definitely either be dead or in prison.<br />
<br />
I think about this story often when my teen daughters tell me their friends think my husband and I are "cool parents" and their friends sometimes call us "Mom and Dad." Very few of them have intact families, and the things I hear from my daughters about the "parenting skills" being used are always distressing. There's not a lot I can do, but I can pray for them, and I can give them a hug and a smile and tell them they're special and beautiful. That may not sound like much, but I think that can go a long way, as evidenced by my father's life.<br />
<br />
Please thank all the Boy Scout and Girl Scout leaders and Youth Workers out there and others who are pouring their lives into young people for me. They may not think they're making a difference, but they are.<br />
<br />
God bless.<br />
<br />
K.
Staff
2011-03-16T06:35:00Z
Treating Kindly and Loving It!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Treating-Kindly-and-Loving-It!/7751.html
2011-03-16T01:34:00Z
2011-03-16T01:34:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" />Dear Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
I had an "aha" moment today which I thought I would share. My husband (thankfully) left the cruel world of financial services a couple years ago. Despite this, he still manages my grandmother's portfolio. Well, last night he was talking to my folks on the phone about her account and the state of the economy. I couldn't help but be mesmerized. He was so articulate, smart, and witty. After he disconnected, I walked over to him and gave him a kiss on his beautiful, bald head. Then, I leaned in and told him how smart I thought he was and I couldn't be happier he was my husband.<br />
<br />
He looked back at me somewhat stunned. I thought two things: 1) maybe the margarita I had was going to my head, or 2) I didn't say things like this enough to him. My guess is it was a little of both.<br />
<br />
Either way, the next day my husband was in an all day work meeting and he took the time to send me a text. The first part of text was about how excited he was to spend Friday night with me and the second part said and I quote, "I just want you to know how much I love you as my wife."<br />
<br />
You always tell us to "treat kindly" and it is moments like these that make me realize the infectious nature of being kind. <br />
<br />
Thanks Dr. Laura for helping me a better wife, mother, and girlfriend every day. <br />
<br />
Treating Kindly,<br />
<br />
S.
Staff
2011-03-16T01:34:00Z
Good Homes Aren't Built in a Day
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Good-Homes-Arent-Built-in-a-Day/7752.html
2011-03-12T07:59:00Z
2011-03-12T07:59:00Z
<img src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" class="blog-icon-large" alt="Icon" />It's 7:46pm and my husband is working diligently in his accounting course right now. We both arrived home from work just in time for a quick home-cooked meal and then we were forced to part again as he is determined to earn his college degree without compromise. I suppose I could mimic the reactions and lifestyles of the women around me and whine so he feels bad about leaving. I could go spend time with my friends, both single and married, who would jump at any opportunity to leave their men alone while they go out and have fun. I could neglect the dishes, the vacuuming, the laundry, the cooking, etc. out of being passive aggressive and wait lazily for him to return. I could for once listen to the mocking of other women who can't seem to fathom cooking meals for their husbands, even though they're stay at home wives. I could do a lot of things, but I'd rather not destroy my marriage.<br />
<br />
I admit this lifestyle isn't ideal for everyone, but for my husband and I it's a solid commitment and it's an understanding that we are making sacrifices now in order to live out our future goals later. I have no resentment, no "what-ifs" and no jealousy towards other people's chosen lifestyles. My husband and I know that working hard now, saving money now, spending below our means now, treating each other with admiration and love now, will all pay off eventually. After all, Rome wasn't built in a day.<br />
<br />
From,<br />
<br />
G-dwilling, a future stay-at-home mom<br />
Staff
2011-03-12T07:59:00Z
She's Made Up Her Mind!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Shes-Made-Up-Her-Mind!/7753.html
2011-03-11T07:45:00Z
2011-03-11T07:45:00Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" />Dr. Laura,<br />
<br />
I am writing this while wiping the tears of joy from my eyes. My step daughter (who I love so much I would swim through shark infested waters to bring her a lemon aid) is a very high level executive at a major U.S. bank. She has been on the fast track and when she informed them she was pregnant they offered her a 3 month maternity leave, with pay, and a big bonus when she returned. <br />
<br />
I flew back east the week she was to start back to work to take care of our beautiful baby boy so she wouldn't have to put him in the "Baby Farm" her first week back. The night before she was supposed to return to work she was awake all night long crying. How can mommies imagine that it's going to be o.k. to leave their new babies in somebody else's arms, even a trusted and loved family member? (That would be me). This Mommy did a 360 when her baby was put in her arms for the first time. She is a Mommy first and foremost now but the financial challenges facing all new families had her leaning towards staying at work. She married a real man and he stepped up to the plate and told her he would make it work if she wanted to stay home. <br />
<br />
She was still on the fence so I took matters into my own hands and I sent her In Praise of Stay at Home Moms. She called me this afternoon to tell me she had not finished the book, but she has decided to give her two week notice next week. <br />
<br />
Thank you, Dr. Laura. Together we saved another Mommy from missing out on the magic of raising her own baby.<br />
<br />
With much appreciation for all you do,<br />
<br />
Heather
Staff
2011-03-11T07:45:00Z
Sex Defuses an Argument with Hubby...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sex-Defuses-an-Argument-with-Hubby.../7754.html
2011-03-10T06:31:00Z
2011-03-10T06:31:00Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" />Dear Dr Laura,<br />
<br />
I thought I would share this moment as I pulled a "Dr. Laura" on my husband...This evening my husband got upset with me. I had no idea why but I knew he had a bad week work wise and was totally stressed. In a final huff, I yelled at him "you started this fight on purpose because you didn't want to have sex with me!" Well, he looked at me and yelled "BS" to which I replied by stripping right in front of him and pulled off his drawers. He was so taken aback that he looked at me and began to laugh...he then actually explained why he was upset and the rest is left to the bedroom.<br />
<br />
Needless to say, I pulled a "Dr. Laura" and diffused the situation. I read your book 5 times to leave no doubt it sank in and that is why I can properly care and feed my wonderful hubby! Thanks again. (P.S. Feel free to share this fight de-fuser with your fans.)<br />
<br />
Gia
Staff
2011-03-10T06:31:00Z
Doing the Right Thing -- Now
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Doing-the-Right-Thing----Now/7755.html
2011-03-09T08:04:00Z
2011-03-09T08:04:00Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg" />I am so thankful that you are on the radio and are out there fighting and trying to protect children and the values and morals in today's society. I am a perfect example of the kind of woman you talk about who had a child out of wedlock with a man who I hardly knew at 21 years old and then decides to shack up with a man who isn't the father of their child.<br />
<br />
I am 32 years old now and thanks to you I am changing my life around and doing the right thing for my son. I am moving back in with my mom (my father passed away 9 years ago) and am not dating until my son is 18 years old. Everything you say about shack up relationships are so true and every time you talked about it I felt like you were talking directly to me. I finally woke up and realized how the choices in my life were really affecting son. My son's father was never involved in his life and he also passed away few years ago. And to top it off the shack up boyfriend I chose was also not interested in my son only in me. But I am very thankful to have run across your show 2 years ago and have been a faithful listener since then. It took me 2 years to get rid of the shack up boyfriend but I did it and will never ever make that mistake again. <br />
<br />
Even though I acted like it didn't bother me, being in a shack up relationship did and I felt embarrassed introducing this person to people as my "boyfriend" even though we lived together. I promise to make my son's life better and mine and I don't think I could have done it without you and my mom. My mom always gave me great advice but I never listened and just thought she didn't understand things were different now not like when she was growing up. Thankfully my son is a good kid, he's kind, compassionate, and very sweet. I vow to only be my kid's my mom from now on.<br />
<br />
Keep up the good work because you are making a difference in this world.<br />
<br />
G.
Staff
2011-03-09T08:04:00Z
The Grief Road is Very Wavy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Grief-Road-is-Very-Wavy/7756.html
2011-03-08T04:39:00Z
2011-03-08T04:39:00Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Just listened to Drew's call of the day from Monday, Feb. 28 regarding losing his wife. I lost my 14 year old son two years ago and your advice was right on. The grief road is very wavy. Sometimes tsunami waves of grief hit you at the oddest times. I cried yesterday in the grocery store when I looked at a package of little smokies! My son loved 'pigs in a blanket'. <br />
<br />
The advice about no drugs (people PUSH them at you!) and not staying in bed all day was perfect too. I've seen people in my grief group who have been on Prozac for 15 years and can't move on. You HAVE TO FEEL THE PAIN of grief, you can't mask it or try to crawl under it. It's not an illness you can treat or a symptom you can cure it's a normal manifestation of the loss of a part of you and it must be endured until you can smile at the memories again. <br />
<br />
Thanks for being there for us Dr. Laura. I've listened to you for 16 years, ever since I was a stay at home mom with my sweet baby James. You have helped me be a better mom and a better wife. God Bless you!<br />
<br />
S.
Staff
2011-03-08T04:39:00Z
Successfully Managing Household of 5 Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Successfully-Managing-Household-of-5-Kids/7757.html
2011-03-05T07:52:00Z
2011-03-05T07:52:00Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>I am so very blessed!<br />
<br />
I've just listened to Call of the Day - Talia's daughters have started saying "No" to everything. Your advice to Talia gave me a flash back to my recent visit with my daughter and her family of five kids in another state. On this visit, I was immediately impressed with the atmosphere in her home-it runs like a fine-tuned clock. Ultimately I noticed five poster boards of different colors. Each poster board has columns for each day of the week, and tiny tags hanging on very small hooks which identify specific responsibilities. As any day progresses, a child removes tags, and at bedtime, submits accumulated tags to his/her mother who awards that child with a ticket, or tickets which are ultimately redeemed for privileges, such as time playing video games, etc. <br />
<br />
Responsibilities include routine things like brushing teeth, bathing, making bed, doing homework, bedtime prayer time with a parent, etc. Others, for the older children, include helping prepare meals, after-meal cleanup, adding to/taking from dishwasher, and reading to the five-year-old who, by the way, does a lot of reading on her own.<br />
<br />
Sometimes, their accumulated tickets merit a lottery drawing for bonus tickets.<br />
<br />
There's no whining, no cheating, no lying. The kids have learned that such behavior results in severe consequences such as loss of accumulated points (tickets).<br />
<br />
Do the children resent their mother? Quite the contrary. They adore and respect her.<br />
<br />
I am sometimes moved to tears of delight when I think about my daughter's family.
Staff
2011-03-05T07:52:00Z
The Ultimate Spouse Contest!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Ultimate-Spouse-Contest!/7758.html
2011-03-04T08:19:00Z
2011-03-04T08:19:00Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>My husband and I decided to have a little contest between ourselves for just one day. <br />
<br />
The rules were:<br />
<br />
1) Call each other VERY often throughout the day while at work.<br />
<br />
2) Talk and ask questions just as you would any other day.<br />
<br />
3) And oh yeah, say EVERYTHING in the most sultry, sexy, seductive voice you can muster.<br />
<br />
So, for example, when one spouse asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?" (<- insert provocative/come-hither tone), the other spouse has to answer "Lamb chops" with their best alluring voice ever!<br />
<br />
The most important rule, of course, is rule number 3, so whoever fails to comply with rule number 3 first has to do something special for their spouse. That can be determined by the spouse who won the contest.<br />
<br />
I recommend every spouse to take on the challenge! Stay focused during your conversations with your spouse, but when you hang up the phone or walk out of the room, go ahead and start laughing like an idiot because it will build up and you have to let it out.<br />
<br />
Oh yes, and you're probably wondering who won? Well, I guess my husband won, but that's certainly still up for debate. I LET him decide what special thing I had to do for him and, um, let's just say that in the end, we both won. Tremendously.<br />
<br />
Ready, set, have fun!<br />
<br />
K.
Staff
2011-03-04T08:19:00Z
...i get it now.
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/...i-get-it-now./7759.html
2011-03-04T08:12:00Z
2011-03-04T08:12:00Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>My wife and I have been listening to your show for a couple of years now. Our 11 year old son gets to listen in on the tail end of your show as he gets picked up after school and often gets a head of what your take is going to be on the subject (We think he's going to turn out okay).<br />
<br />
My wife read a couple of your books. ...I admit lots of changes for the better. I'm not a perfect guy by any means however, as of late I have realized that after 20 years of working in Manufacturing industry as a Director of Information Technology implementing Six Sigma models of continuous improvement and now un-employed (thanks to some wiz bang high roller bankers) I have now realized that Six Sigma is not only for the manufacturing industry but works just as well for the "Family" industry. Continuous improvement is something I believe we all have to work at. Our company is our family, our product is our kids, and our profits are our achievements of it all.<br />
<br />
While sitting down for dinner at the table, I caught my wife telling our son: "...when you do that again, I'll just tell your father" As our son turned to me, I quickly scrambled for words to say, thinking of continuous improvement, I quickly replied to our son "Listen, around here I am the Judge, you screw up, you'll be in court having to answer to the judge who will then set your sentence... or let you go." My son found that amusing and replied back "so I will need an attorney?" I slowly smiled at him, as if he should know what was coming and looking at him straight in the eye I slowly said on to him "You have the best attorney in the world" our son looked at me with a perplexed look, I explained: "Your mother is your attorney and lucky for you she works on a contingency plan, that means it's free unless you loose, then she'll bill you for it"<br />
<br />
Since we've adopted this model in our home, and I gotta say, not only is it fun, but it settles in our roles in the house and we have all improved yet another notch.<br />
<br />
Like I tell our son, "I don't reward for doing what you're supposed to be doing, I reward for when you go out be-on the call of duty." I will not thank you for doing what you're doing, but I thank you for coming up with your brilliant show that has helped so many people. (Please don't take offence)<br />
<br />
My warmest regards,<br />
<br />
The Judge
Staff
2011-03-04T08:12:00Z
Parenting Hangover- "Hair of the Dog"
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parenting-Hangover--Hair-of-the-Dog/7760.html
2011-03-04T08:09:00Z
2011-03-04T08:09:00Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura (a.k.a. my parenting Cheerleader!),<br />
<br />
This morning I awoke to a familiar feeling which I have finally labeled. I am diagnosing this feeling as a "parenting hangover". After going a couple of rounds yesterday afternoon with my thirteen year old son, trying to keep in mind the cheerleading and wise advice I hear from you and my hero of a husband, I awoke this morning realizing that I'm "hung-over" from the experience! Today, as I'm running my errands, I will gratefully be able to turn on my car radio and get an adequate dose of your cheerleading which will no doubt dissipate these feelings. Your encouraging words for those of us who are so blessed to be able to stay at home with our children (even when hangovers result) will be a little of "the hair of the dog that bit me"!<br />
<br />
This lingering feeling of taking in too much likely results from a failure on my part of knowing when to WALK AWAY (emotionally) from the situation. Our oldest (of three) has a way of sucking me into an argument that I have no business having with him (and he certainly has no business having with me!) Many pieces of advice from you were blending around in my head as I tried to not react and stick to my guns being the parent. I pray I'll continue to improve and one day he'll grow to recognize a parent who actually cares about his school work and his future is a great parent to have! In the meantime, I know I can tune you in whenever I need that vital boost I'm doing the right thing. Thanks for being the cure for many of us who wake up to a parenting hangover and just need to be reminded not to quit but just to "do the right thing"!<br />
<br />
With gratitude and a little headache,<br />
<br />
S. - I am my husband's girlfriend and my kids' mom (13, 12, 8)
Staff
2011-03-04T08:09:00Z
Lucky or Blessed?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lucky-or-Blessed/7761.html
2011-03-01T06:22:00Z
2011-03-01T06:22:00Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>I enjoyed your
audio post
about whether or not great kids were the result of luck or good parenting.
We have our own version of the "luckies" around here.
What people constantly tell my husband (he works with about 60 women) is, "Your wife is SO LUCKY to be able to stay home."
Lucky? Uh, no. I drive a $2500, 12 year old van missing one hubcap. I coupon shop groceries. We live in a small, three-bedroom house. We shop sales for clothes. My children only get about three pairs of shoes a year.
We don't go out to eat. We don't go to the movies. Our vacations are frugal. Our couch is on its last legs. Money for soccer sign-ups is what our children ask for from the grandparents for their birthdays.
I am not lucky. It is a choice to stay home and raise my own children. I'd LOVE a better car. Truth is, I just love my kids more than I'd love that car. I am home, and I am content.
In reality, I'm not lucky, but I AM blessed: Blessed with a husband who is a real man, who values mothering more than electronics or trips to Hawaii; Blessed with a husband who is content with his car, his HOME (which is not just a house, because I'm here), his life.
Don't confuse lucky and blessed. I'm blessed. And I know it; each and every day.
-R
<div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style ">
<a class="addthis_button_facebook_like" fb:like:layout="button_count"></a>
<a class="addthis_button_tweet"></a>
<a class="addthis_counter addthis_pill_style"></a>
</div>
Staff
2011-03-01T06:22:00Z
Common Sense Isn't Common to All
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Common-Sense-Isnt-Common-to-All/7762.html
2011-02-26T09:30:58Z
2011-02-26T09:30:58Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
I am a college senior who moved out on my own for my last year of undergraduate. I am lucky enough that my parents live close enough to my University so that I could live at home for the first three years and save on housing expenses (they let me pay "rent" by running errands, cooking, and cleaning for them). Now that I'm on my own, I love it! I feel like an independent adult managing my own time, budget, and schedule (which makes me think I'll be a great SAHM someday!). What I don't understand is why my roommates and most other friends have such a hard time keeping their life in order? I mean, I just moved out 7 months ago and am doing much better than the people who have been out of their parents' house for four years!
As I was sitting last night snuggling with my puppy, I was trying to figure out why the simplest things for me seemed so hard for them. The tasks they can't manage include:
-Doing laundry
-Cooking simple meals
-Hanging a picture
-Cleaning a toilet
-Using a credit card for things that they can actually pay off
-Using coupons with sale items to get the best price
-Using a map to get places, not just relying on a GPS
I don't mean to make myself sound overly intelligent, or to put them down, but doesn't this list seem like basic common sense? Well, I've come to the conclusion that common sense isn't common to everyone you want to know why? It's because my parents loved me enough to live in a small house, with minimal material items, clip coupons, and understood that my mom staying home with my sister and I would be the best decision they could've ever made. My dad always put us before work and was at every dance recital, school concert, and parent night. My mom taught me basic house skills, problem solving, and responsibility. I was not stuck in a daycare only for my parents to pick me up, feed me dinner, and put me right to bed. I know my parents inside and out, and they know me the same way.
If I were put in day care, I would not have my "common sense", because it is not something you are born with it is taught. All of these things only seem simple to me because my parents spent time with me and taught them to me, and that beats a big house, material items, or extravagant vacations any day. I'm so grateful that my parents had the common sense to raise me this way...I wonder where they got it from...?
-S.
P.S. I can't wait to be a SAHM and pass on the same common sense to my children!
Staff
2011-02-26T09:30:58Z
Choices Parents Make...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Choices-Parents-Make.../7763.html
2011-02-25T09:21:18Z
2011-02-25T09:21:18Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Today I had a 12 year old boy who I had only known for about 3 hours prior, approach me and start rambling about his home life. He began, "I'm going to have a new dad soon - my mom is marrying this guy named Chris." And continued for about 5 minutes telling me about all of the step-siblings he is going to be living with, about his dad's new girlfriend and her son, about having to go back and forth between two homes (50/50 custody), about a new baby, etc.
After 5 minutes, when I could finally get a word in I stopped him and said, "I'm sorry."
He looked at me like he heard me wrong, probably expecting me to be excited for him and tell him congratulations.
He said back to me, "What?"
I said, "It sounds like you have a lot of complicated things going on in your life now. I'm sorry you have to go through that. I'm sorry there was nothing you could do about the choices your parents made."
He looked at me with a look of relief and said, "Thank you for actually listening to me. You're the first person."
T.
Staff
2011-02-25T09:21:18Z
Good Mother: check, Good Wife: check, Good Girlfriend: priceless!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Good-Mother:-check,-Good-Wife:-check,-Good-Girlfriend:-priceless!/7764.html
2011-02-24T06:10:11Z
2011-02-24T06:10:11Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>At the age of 52, after 26 years of marriage, after 3 kids, after years of listening to you and reading your books, I am happy to tell you I am once again "my husband's girlfriend"...
A couple of weeks ago, I had a "Dr. Laura moment"... I came to the realization I had definitely started to slack off in the girlfriend department. I asked myself, "Would I want to come home to me?" The answer was a very weak maybe to not so much... I looked at my very handsome, shark infected swimming, hard working, amazing father, provider, and husband; and said to myself, there are tons of women out there who would love to get a hold of this man. Well that was a very scary thought. I knew it was time to get into action!
It started over the weekend...my husband got up on Sunday and told me he had to make the hour commute to go work. He had to meet with his staff and prepare for a big meeting on Monday. My first reaction would have been to whine about him working on the weekend, but I didn't do that, instead I asked him if he would like me to meet him in the city later and we could have dinner after he was done. Dr. Laura, you should have seen his face!!! He left with such a huge smile on his face. Five minutes after he left the house he called me and ask if I would come in a little earlier because he could really use some help putting together his presentation. So I picked out a great outfit, got dressed, put on some makeup, got on the train and headed into the city. I stopped at his favorite bakery and picked up his favorite cupcake. He paraded me around the office, introducing me to his staff with a huge smile on his face the whole time. We worked in his office for a couple of hours then he took me to our favorite restaurant for a great meal. But wait it didn't end there...The next night when he got home from his very important presentation, I made him his favorite dinner and after dinner I had a bath ready for him, complete with candles! We had a very "special" evening... The next night when he came home from work, he came straight to the kitchen and gave me a big hug and kiss. Later that night he hugged me again and told me, "I couldn't stop thinking of you all day, after 26 years you still turn me on!" Priceless!!!!
Thanks for reminding me everyday, not to take our MEN for granted!
A very happy Wife
Staff
2011-02-24T06:10:11Z
The Best Mom in the World
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Best-Mom-in-the-World--/7765.html
2011-02-23T07:05:44Z
2011-02-23T07:05:44Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
At 19 years old, I've decided I have the best mom in the world. Why? Because when I look back on my life, she did everything right FOR ME. And when I hurt her, she still looked out FOR ME. No matter what I do wrong, I can't 'make' her go away I can't lose her. She is the most selfless woman I have ever known and I thank God every day she is MY mom and mom to my precious little brothers. I don't deserve her I have previously been absolutely horrid to her. But I'm so glad she is who she is because today, I still get to pick up my phone and call her and hear her words of love and support.
When my parents divorced when I was two years old, my mom wanted to be there FOR ME as a stay at home mom despite being a single parent. She played with me, her only daughter by day, and worked as an LA County Sheriff by night. A sacrifice I was too young to appreciate, that I now am so thankful for.
At four she met my step dad, who stepped up to the plate and was there for me always. He meant the world to me, especially as I started to appreciate he was there when my biological dad couldn't be bothered. My mom didn't choose him solely for herself. Once again she was looking out FOR ME.
When my dad would say cruel, untrue things about my mother to me as a young girl, I then repeated them to my mom, too young to find the real truth. My mom did not retaliate with comments that were true of my father. My mom just listened to her little girl tell her how Daddy said it was her fault we weren't a family. Never did a word leave her mouth badmouthing my father because it was hard enough FOR ME to hear such things from him.
When I was a selfish 17 year old convinced that nothing was so awful as being in the same house with my parents, my mum took everything I did and put it aside despite her own hurt and anguish. She still supported me and my goals and did everything she could FOR ME to get where I wanted to be.
To this day, I don't do everything exactly as she may wish I would. But one thing has changed. I undervalued my mom growing up now I can understand and appreciate her so much more. No matter what I do, especially if I know she may not agree, I do my best to make sure she knows just how much she means to me. That she knows I think she was and is "WonderMom". Because when you look back at my life, the number of times I say she did things "for me" should be proof enough of that. But she didn't just do them for me out of obligation she did them "for me" because she loves me and aims to protect me, even to this day.
So in case I haven't told her enough, I love you mom. I love you for everything you have done for me and everything you've forgiven me for. And I thank YOU Dr. Laura for encouraging moms to stay at home with their kids, to truly be there for them. As a kid, I know I didn't really care, but as an adult, it means so much and I aim to someday be as amazing of a stay at home mom as my own mom.
Respectfully,
M.
Staff
2011-02-23T07:05:44Z
From this Day Forward, I'm a Better Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/From-this-Day-Forward,-Im-a-Better-Mom--/7766.html
2011-02-23T00:08:29Z
2011-02-23T00:08:29Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>I want to thank you for the advice you've been giving to the mothers who call in with fears of harm coming to their children.
At first, my husband and I were not sure if we were going to have kids, but after 6 years of marriage, God made the decision for us. I have always pushed myself as hard as I can in whatever I do, and was determined to be the best mother there was - which meant, in my mind, I would bear the whole burden myself.
My son is 4 years old, but when he was born he was an extremely difficult baby. He came out wailing and didn't stop for two years. Nurses had to move my room because we scared the other new mothers. One nurse took pity on me and tried to spend some of the night in my room rocking him, but he still did not stop. They told me if I just let him go into the nursery, I could get some sleep, but I wouldn't allow them to take him away from me.
When we came home from the hospital, my husband had to go to work early every day, so I drug a mattress in the baby's room and endured the sleepless nights of him screaming on my own.
I had constant fears, dreams, and thoughts of harm befalling him, and some drove me crazy. I had convinced myself if I left him alone with anyone else, they would not be able to handle the screaming and would hurt him in some way.
I sit now, years later, with such guilt because there was a few times that I lost it. I never physically harmed my son, but I did lose my composure and yell. He was just a baby and it was not something I am proud of. The guilt is like a cancer that weighs on me. After he turned 2 and started actually sleeping at night, the yelling stopped, but I can't forget what I did to my own child.
I can't change the past, but I can move forward and spend the best, quality time with my child and love him the way he deserves. And from time to time I leave him with his dad, or grandmother, or aunt and I know they are playing and everything is fine and I can relax. (Although he is a lot more fun now and hardly ever screams and cries) I may never forget what I did, but if I move forward and be the best mom I can be, I am sure he will forget any bad that happened, and see me for the mom I can be. I can tell my story to new moms who have bags under their eyes and I can offer to babysit and let them go take a break or even take a nap. I can assure them even if their child screams the WHOLE TIME they are gone, I will be fine because I have lived through it and two hours of screaming will not cause me to lose my mind. I'll just think back fondly to my days with my screaming meemie baby who the nurses had no idea what to do with.
Thanks
G.
Staff
2011-02-23T00:08:29Z
The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands (and Boyfriends?)
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Proper-Care--Feeding-of-Husbands-and-Boyfriends-/7767.html
2011-02-21T22:59:11Z
2011-02-21T22:59:11Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
I am one of your faithful listeners-though I am a liberal and our opinions on some issues differ, I find you to be one of the few (make that probably the only!) female voices that discusses topics about taking care of men honestly!
(I read 'How to survive a Shark Attack' as well and it was amazing but I am writing you about 'The Proper Care...' because of the immediate impact it has had on me and my relationship).
I am not yet married (we are waiting to be more financially stable) but I have found The One. It is so true what you say in TPCAFOH-that men are born of women and thus live to take care of and seek approval from, the woman they love.
Although our relationship has been terrific-and my man has many times commented on how well I take care of him I knew I still had much to learn (especially since I am still a future wife). I have been listening for years about this book and have finally read it. It's amazing all of the little things I could be doing that would make tremendous strides in my man's attitude and demeanor-and how he treats me!
What I would like to stress to any woman out there who still doesn't think The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands is valid is no matter who you are, what background you are from, where you stand politically or religiously, any and all women who have a man in their lives (one they'd like to keep!) can benefit from this book and its teachings.
This is not a book that encourages "submission" or inequality between men and women. There's probably a lot of liberal (and I'm sure even conservative) women out there who still deny the truths this book states so simply. I hope these women see letters like mine and are enlightened to the joy they can receive from following just a few tips from this book.
Respecting your man, treating him like a king-these are not things that make you, as a woman, submissive or beneath your man. In fact, you will find the opposite results: your man, feeling physical love from you, being nurtured in the simplest of ways and being respected for the good man he is will make you feel POWERFUL. YOU are really the leader of your home life-so make it a home worth living in!
I (and I'm sure Dr. Laura) will promise things can change instantly! A smile, a flirtation, etc., may sound silly or like a small thing but it WILL pay off!
Thank you Dr. Laura. I may be a liberal woman, but I am still a woman and girl who wants to take care of my man and be taken care of. No inequality or oppression in that!
Sincerely,
A.
P.S. How do we get The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands as required reading for women before marriage?
Staff
2011-02-21T22:59:11Z
Gift of the Magi
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Gift-of-the-Magi-/7768.html
2011-02-18T06:19:50Z
2011-02-18T06:19:50Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
My birthday is on January 31st, and for the entire month of January, my husband continued to drop hints about what he got me for my birthday. He is usually unable to keep a secret, so I was hoping this time he would keep my gift a surprise.
With all of my husband's excitement about my upcoming birthday, I wanted to get him something really special for Valentine's Day.
Last July, when we got married, my husband got a traditional silver band from me, and he also purchased a fancier band with diamonds on it to match mine. About a month ago, he told me he no longer liked the fancy diamond band it felt uncomfortable. He would rather have a simple gold band to match his late father's watch, but we were past the 30 day return policy. Remembering this, I discovered he still had time to bring the ring back for a merchandise exchange. I planned to exchange the ring for a gold band, and use the leftover store credit to get him a gift. However, I didn't want to get the wrong thing, so I went ahead and told him what I had planned, and asked if we could go to the jewelry store together to pick out exactly what he wanted.
As I told him this, a huge grin spread across his face and he said, "You're perfect, you know that? That is so sweet of you to remember I wanted a gold ring, and you were going to get me an extra gift, too. That reminds me of the story that was on the intro of Dr. Laura's book, "The Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage," that I listened to on the way back from my hunting trip last week.** It brought a tear to my eye."
"The gift if the Magi?!" I said, and burst into tears. "That was my mother's favorite story. I forgot that story was in Dr. Laura's book! When I was a little girl, my mother would read us stories from "The Book of Virtues," and when she read me that story, she cried so hard. At the time, I didn't understand why a sweet story like that would make an adult cry so much."
While huge tears streamed down my adult face, my husband stepped out of the room and quickly returned with a bag from the jewelry store. Inside the bag were two small boxes. The first box held a gold wedding band, and the second box held the most beautiful diamond stud earrings.
"Happy Birthday!" he exclaimed, one week early.
I'm glad he ruined the surprise again. It was the perfect moment to give me my birthday gift, and I love the earrings even more knowing that he bought them after hearing "The Gift of the Magi," my mother's favorite story.
Although my mother passed away 6 months before I met my husband, I know she is very happy with my choice. I married a man who will sacrifice things in his life for his wife and family.
Because of my husband's unselfish nature, I will become a stay-at-home mom this July when we welcome our first child into the world. (A baby girl!)
Many thanks to you, Dr. Laura, and my own stay-at-home mother. The guidance and advice you have both given throughout the years has created for me a life in which dreams are made.
C.
**Footnote: I purchased the hardcover versions of your "The Proper Care & Feeding..." books for myself and my husband when we got engaged, but he didn't know who you were at the time, so he never read them. After he heard your show on podcasts I downloaded, he decided to download the audio version of your book because he loved what he heard!
Staff
2011-02-18T06:19:50Z
Proud to be a Helicopter Parent (from a distance)
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Proud-to-be-a-Helicopter-Parent-from-a-distance--/7769.html
2011-02-17T07:03:38Z
2011-02-17T07:03:38Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dr. Laura!
LOVE YOU! I am a 35 y/o married woman with a fabulous husband and 2 great kids. I have been listening you for more than 20 years. I even called you last year and boy did you help my family big time, so THANK YOU! I keep meaning to call you to give you an update, so hopefully one of these days I will find the time.
My darling hubby downloads your podcasts for me every week so I can listen to them while I exercise every morning at 5:30 at our local YCMA. Trust me, he never forgets! He knows it is certainly in his best interest I get my daily dose of Dr. Laura!
I was so impressed with your commentary on helicopter parenting. I am very proud to be a helicopter parent from a distance, although it never really registered with me that was in fact what I was doing. I am THAT mom who attends ALL events, even those where parents aren't required to be. I blend into the background so my children have their freedom, but I am there if I am needed. I can't tell you how many "Drop-Off" birthday parties my girls are invited to at places such as amusement parks, water parks and indoor play gyms. How can 2 parents adequately supervise 20 4 year olds?!?!? Thank you so much for bringing this to your listeners' attention. We moms often feel we are being overprotective. It is important we instead feel we are simply doing our jobs correctly.
Just one more quick story that presents such a sad commentary on today's parents. My 4 and 7 year old girls are in a dance class together. They will be having an end of the year recital at a large theatre in a local city's downtown. This is a big theatre where concerts and plays are performed at and seats thousands. It dawned on me that my 2 girls would be backstage for the 2 hour concert being supervised by who knows who while my hubby and I would be sitting in the theatre. I asked if it would be possible for me to stay with my girls backstage to ensure their safety. The instructor was shocked. She said that every year they have to BEG one parent to volunteer to watch the children backstage and no one ever wants to miss their darling girls doing their little dance on stage. I see my little girls dance every day in our home while we sing and have fun. I don't need to see it on stage. I need to make sure they are safe. I can't believe I am the only parent in HUNDREDS who feels this way. So sad.
Thank you for all that you do. I love the new format, especially your extended commentaries an updates from previous callers. It is so nice to hear how things worked out for them. God bless you and your family, especially your son, for helping to keep our wonderful country safe.
J.
P.S. I have been working with my trainer to do your push-up from lying flat on the floor. I am almost there!
Staff
2011-02-17T07:03:38Z
Enjoying True Happiness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Enjoying-True-Happiness/7770.html
2011-02-16T06:15:02Z
2011-02-16T06:15:02Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>At 21 years old I found out I was pregnant out of wedlock.
My mom immediately fronted the money for me to have an abortion. She told me my life would be miserable if I had the baby. I mentioned adoption because I didn't think I could do it, and she convinced me that would be a terrible decision because adopting out my baby would scar me for life. Abortion on the other hand would only be a "few hours of discomfort" and then I would have a huge amount of "relief because the stress would be gone".
One of the biggest regrets in my life is that I followed her advice.
A few months later my mom and I were at a restaurant eating breakfast. There was a lady sitting there who was surrounded with four kids. After a few minutes my mom motioned towards the family and said, "I bet that lady doesn't even have a college degree." That made me so angry! All the beauty and love sitting around the lady, and my mom was blind to that! All I could say was, "I bet she is happy."
I took a good look at how my mom had failed to raise me into an adult. I was never given morals or taught responsibility both which lead to my innocent baby being murdered.
I truly regret taking my mom's advice. It is not painless and there is an eternal scar left on your heart. I can't imagine ever giving that advice to my daughter. I am trying to become the kind of woman I would want my kids to have as a mom. I want to be the mom I wish I had had.
Over the next few years I started listening to you, and I am now a happy stay at home mommy to my two beautiful babies and a girlfriend to my husband. I strive everyday to be a better person, mommy, and wife. I now realize my mom is too selfish to enjoy true happiness.
C.
Staff
2011-02-16T06:15:02Z
I Was Headed for a Disastrous Future
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Was-Headed-for-a-Disastrous-Future/7771.html
2011-02-15T05:55:07Z
2011-02-15T05:55:07Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Hi Dr. Laura,
Let me start of by saying how much I appreciate what you do!!! You have opened my eyes and heart to a new beginning. I'm 18 and I'm married to a wonderful man in the military. My mother gave me your book after she read it and I absolutely love it. I cried, laughed, and beat myself up (in a healthy way of course!!) throughout the book.
My past with my family always made me struggle through my life. I grew up without a father, but with a wonderful mother who gave everything she possibly could for me and my brother. Although, of course being a stupid ignorant teenager, I treated her as if it was all her FAULT. I grew up "unhappy" but the truth was, I was just thinking about me!!
When I was 17, I met my now husband. Oh how I never thought I could possibly love someone so much. I lived my days thinking about him, trying to make him happy with absolutely everything, and just making him my entire world... I wish I could say when we got married I followed through with these actions. After I became pregnant, I constantly only thought about myself. My husband was in a serious training school for his career, and yet when he'd come home I'd nag, nag, nag, nag and NAG!! When he'd walk through the door, I had my bitchy face on... and would start with "MY day was horribly, I HATE today, I want you to make me food, no I don't want to go anywhere." I was flat out, a bitch. I'd constantly ask him "Do you love me? Do you actually? Do you want someone else but me? Am I fat? Do you not want to have sex with me anymore? Do you even care that I do EVERYTHING around here?" I now look back, and am SO SURPRISED he withheld his anger and distraught and didn't slap me! ha ha. After having our daughter, my excuse for everything was, "Well my postpartum hormones are crazy.. Deal with it. I HAD TO BE PREGNANT AND MISERABLE. YOU JUST SAT THERE." bitch... bitch… bitch. Nag. Nag. Nag. I never welcomed him home with love, I always would tell him I need a break from my long day and to do something for me... I never once thought about the 12 hour days he spent Monday-Friday working his butt off for our family..
After reading your book, I felt so stupid. I would hold so many grudges against him for past things he went through (like relationships). The sad part is this was 3 YEARS before he even met me. Yet, I've been a horrible wife and I sit there and say POOR ME, I NEVER HAD A DAD, I NEVER HAD THE LOVE OF MY MOM (which I did, I just never bothered to appreciate her.. till now). I'm so embarrassed with how I acted!! But with the help of your "knock some sense into us dummies" I'm the loving wife he wants to come home to. I greet him with love again. I go out on a whim everyday to make this house a home as best I can, think about what I can do today to make him happy. And guess what? I'm happier than ever, and he in turn shows me the appreciation and love that I so YEARNED for. The best thing is, it's the real kind of love, not the "I'm telling you this because you're nagging me and I need to say all the right things because then you'll chew my head off" Thank you so much. Without your honesty to us women, I'd be headed for a disastrous future... a lonely one at that.
C.
Staff
2011-02-15T05:55:07Z
A Difference Between Home Schooled and Public Schooled Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Difference-Between-Home-Schooled-and-Public-Schooled-Kids-/7772.html
2011-02-12T06:08:03Z
2011-02-12T06:08:03Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>My brother is a Boy Scout leader here in Bellingham, WA. He was at a meeting with 3rd graders, most of which are home schooled, and a few parents.
The theme of the day was when to call 911. Here is how the conversation went:
David: Why do people call 911?
Answer from children: For an emergency.
David: What is an example of an emergency?
Child A: If someone is running around inside your house naked and you don't know them.
David: Ok, that could be an emergency. Any other examples?
Child B: When you get stoned.
Parents looked surprised.
David: Could you tell us more about what you mean?
Child: Like in the Bible, if people throw rocks at me. I will call 911.
One of the dads in the group said, "And that's the difference between a home schooled and a public schooled kid."
I thought it was very amusing, and thought you might too.
P.
Staff
2011-02-12T06:08:03Z
A Wonderful Love Letter from a Wise Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Wonderful-Love-Letter-from-a-Wise-Mother-/7773.html
2011-02-11T06:22:33Z
2011-02-11T06:22:33Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>I just finished your book, Surviving A Shark Attack (On Land). It is so refreshing to hear someone speak without the usual psycho babble and making excuses for dysfunctional acting people.
I grew up in a community where kindness and civility were valued and the meanies were either in the closet, or I was just oblivious. My struggles lately have been with a sabotaging coworker who you described in your book. Just wanted to say I admire your courage to not back down to critics and destructive gossips who are threatened by your morality and intelligence. It also gave me courage to grow up in my expectations and to not be tempted to roll in the mud with my troublemakers. I am searching for other opportunities. I realize the grass is not always greener, but I am exhausted and I feel empowered to take steps to be happier in the future, but praying and keeping one eye open at the same time!!
Please continue with all the healing you give and good common sense we should all follow!! Your book was like a wonderful love letter from a wise mother. You are my hero!
L.
Staff
2011-02-11T06:22:33Z
Heard That Voice in the Back of my Mind
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Heard-That-Voice-in-the-Back-of-my-Mind/7774.html
2011-02-10T06:58:50Z
2011-02-10T06:58:50Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
I just want to thank you for encouraging moms to stay at home! I've listened to you for years and have been filing away your advice. My husband and I tried to have a baby for five years before we were finally blessed with baby Noah this past November! I thought it would be okay to go back to work just two days a week (even though I heard you in my head telling me that was NOT a good idea). I could keep my benefits working that little and I thought it would be worth it. NOT! I cried every day and was miserable. My mom was keeping Noah and I knew he was in good hands, but not mommy's hands. After my second day I resigned. They asked me to come back two weeks and I reluctantly agreed but after my second week I told them I wanted to be a good employee, but even more I wanted to be a good mommy and that I could not continue to work! You are so right! And I am so glad I heard that Dr. Laura voice in the back of my mind telling me I was doing the right thing. Thankfully I have a wonderfully supportive husband and our whole family is happier now.
You are making a difference and I am so thankful for you! Have a great day!
B
Staff
2011-02-10T06:58:50Z
A Constantly Moving Military Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Constantly-Moving-Military-Family-/7775.html
2011-02-09T06:14:43Z
2011-02-09T06:14:43Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
I listened to your caller who was struggling with her 13 year old son and their recent relocation to another state due to her husband's job in the military.
My husband is in the Navy and we are on a three year rotation, so every three years we pick up and move, so the caller's problem struck a chord with me.
I have four children and my oldest is eight. She has known nothing other than the military lifestyle since she was born. My husband and I, while both extremely proud of his service, have often questioned late at night when the kiddos are asleep, if we are completely ruining the kids for life by Daddy being a warrior. And we don't know, and we won't know for a long time. But because of these concerns we have had, we have both put a lot of effort into making sure our children have as secure lives as possible, and here are a few ways we do that.
1) I homeschool. A big reason I homeschool is because of the constant moving. With Mom always being teacher, there is consistency in what they learn, and who they learn it from. My kids know what to expect and look forward to the routine's we have made for them.
2) We turn any place we live into a "hands on" learning environment. We currently live in Japan and embrace many of the aspects of the culture we would not be able to while in the states. We cultivate a love for other ways of life while also cherishing our own background of the good ol' USA. What I have seen in my children while doing this is confidence in who they are, and the backbone to stand up for what they believe in while also respecting that others live differently than us. (My kids and I are still not used to the Japanese toilets!)
3) My husband and I are boyfriend and girlfriend. My husband is gone quite a bit, but even when Daddy is gone I talk nonstop to the kids about what an amazing man their Daddy is and how he still is the one for me. When he IS home, we flirt with each other and show our kids how secure our marriage is.
4) We make moving fun. We call it an adventure, not a burden. I put on my happy face, even when the movers break a beloved item, and we go hunting for new things. When we are looking for a new place to live, we include the kids in our decisions and make sure they know they are a part of this family and have a say too. This gives the kids control in a chaotic situation.
I do the best I can being married to a warrior. I won't say it isn't hard, I cry a lot well after the kids are asleep, but I also know what my husband is doing is right for his family and this country.
Thank you for always being my compass!
J.
Staff
2011-02-09T06:14:43Z
Terrible Childhood - Wonderful Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Terrible-Childhood---Wonderful-Life/7776.html
2011-02-07T21:28:25Z
2011-02-07T21:28:25Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dr. Laura-
I am your typical Bad Childhood - Good Life case.
I come from a large family, my father was a drug addict for the first 16 yrs of my life and my mother was never able to overcome the abuse she suffered as a child and spent most of her days playing the victim role and infecting us kids with her burdens of abuse.
My husband and I have been married for 12 years and could never be happier. I have been listening to you since I was 17, around the time I meet my husband. I have read many of your books and truly believe because of you, I am the loving mother to my kids and sexy girlfriend to my husband.
A few months back I came to the realization my father did not love us kids enough to stop his drug addiction and support us kids as a father should. I never knew what it was like to have a dad go to work daily, work hard to support his wife and kids.
One night a couple of weeks ago I told my husband thank you for going to work everyday and working so hard for me and the kids, I explained to my husband how much it means to me that he is willing to work so hard for our family and how I never had that as a child with my dad. I went on to say how much I appreciate his dedication and daily support to our family. My husband replied, "You don't have to say thank you. It is my job to take care of you and the kids... I wouldn't have it another way." That night I thanked God for blessing me with such a devoted father for my children, something I never thought I would know.
The other day my husband came home from another hard day's work to say "Honey, I thought of you today and something you said to me... I was digging in a ditch, the temperature was about 100 + and the smoke from the fires was making the air miserable to be in... For a second I thought this stinks, why am I down in this ditch digging t his hole? And then I heard your voice in my head and what you said to me the other night about how much it means to you that I go work everyday. As soon as I heard your voice remind me of what you said, I told myself I know why I am here ... for my family and Honey that gave me all the motivation I needed to finish the day. Thank you."
You see what I mean? Life can be good after a terrible childhood and with your help I am able to let go of the awful past and accept a wonderful life and all the blessing that come with it. Thank you, you have helped me be the wife and mother I am today.
From a lucky wife and a happy husband!
Staff
2011-02-07T21:28:25Z
Surviving a Shark Attack from my Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Surviving-a-Shark-Attack-from-my-Family/7777.html
2011-02-04T05:04:06Z
2011-02-04T05:04:06Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
I cannot thank you enough for writing your most recent book, Surviving a Shark Attack (On Land). It is filled with so much wisdom and has helped me tremendously! The icing on the cake was the last line when you included a quote from my favorite movie of all time!
I called into your show on January 12 of this year for the first time after having listened to you for over 15 years. I needed to get your insight on a troubling extended family situation.
My brother who has an alcohol addiction (among others) verbally attacked me Thanksgiving night in front of 15 plus relatives at my grandmother's house. (This, after having been drinking from a bottle in his car all day). He was upset I had communicated and seen his (2nd) ex-wife of 6 months a few times since their split. After his own infidelities he is bewildered she is currently with his best friend. The attack on me was public and meant for humiliation for me and power for him. He did not expect me to stand up to him and became infuriated when I told him "it's not all about you!" It ended with him cursing me out (F-bomb included) in front of everyone including my 7 and 12 year old daughters. My husband decided we needed to leave....of course! He is a "real MAN" and will protect me at all costs from disrespect. Betrayal #2 was the support my parents gave my brother that night and continue to give him. They have entertained him and his new girlfriend in their home while refusing to see my sister and I on Christmas because we didn't want our brother there.
I took your advice in the call and after a provocative e-mail from my brother to my sister and I (telling us he would have cut us out of his life months ago if we weren't his sisters) and told him to call me when he was clean and sober for 6 months. This was met with a chain of hateful text messages to me.
After reading your book today (in one sitting!) it is plain to me I have made the right decision to disengage. I am hoping my parents will come around and respect my decision to protect myself and my family from any further insult or injury from my brother. You hit the nail on the head on page 148 when you describe the parents turn into 'betrayers of the values of which they brought up the good kids, as well as conspirators in an ongoing hurt by ignoring and not supporting the good kids. This is exactly what has been happening in my situation.
My father finally reached out to me and we are having lunch tomorrow. I plan to talk to him and also hand him my heavily highlighted and underlined copy of your book. I am hoping it will give him a better understanding of where I am coming from. I also hope and pray it opens his eyes!
Again, my sincerest gratitude to you for this book and what you do on your show every day. You are a gift from God to all of your listeners!
"The Lord bless you and keep you" Num. 6:24
Blessings,
R
Staff
2011-02-04T05:04:06Z
Following in Your Footsteps
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Following-in-Your-Footsteps/7778.html
2011-02-04T04:26:38Z
2011-02-04T04:26:38Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Hello, Dr. Laura!
I am on many social sites, trying to market my business, and one is a place for women to support each other with "hugs" and cheers and an understanding ear. One such "page" is where women who are complaining (mostly) about their usband or boyfriend how they don't help, they're lazy, etc. Well, I have been waiting for the day I get a notification from the people who run it that I am no longer welcome. Why? Because I am "Dr. Laura" with all of my comments! I do try most sincerely to state my opinions with finesse and tact (they didn't call a radio show looking for my help and I'm not a qualified therapist), but I still wonder when that day will arrive.
I thank you for everything I have learned at your feet over these past years that you were on my radio station. I used to be one of the women who was all turned around by the women's movement and I was already recovering before you came on my radio, but the growth was incredible listening to you! I also read your book "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" and wish I could do something to force my daughters-in-law to read it!
So, thanks again for all you do. You are a "SuperWoman" in my book!
S.
Staff
2011-02-04T04:26:38Z
Divorced, But Kids See Both of Us Daily
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Divorced,-But-Kids-See-Both-of-Us-Daily/7779.html
2011-02-04T04:24:16Z
2011-02-04T04:24:16Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
Your radio show was carried locally in the late 1990s until, I think, the early 2000s. This was the time when I was realizing my marriage was "too destructive and difficult," as you've put it. I thought it all through for years, and tried to work things out with my former husband, but he was not willing and able to do this. After twenty years of marriage, we separated, and after two and a half years of living apart, the divorce became final.
I could write many pages about the marriage and also about what your input meant to me. You helped me to make the most of a bad situation in several ways. As you can imagine from your own values and life experiences, it was not easy for me to separate even when I became convinced it was necessary. I had been raised on "til death do us part," and I took that commitment to my husband and to God very seriously. I was also raised in a very observant Christian home, one where we were taught about God and values in depth, BUT one in which my mother had/has a personality disorder, and was/is an emotionally cruel and dysfunctional woman most of my life.
Your input allowed me to think of some creative ways of making the separation happen, so my husband and the five children and I could continue to function well as a family in as many ways as we could manage. Both sides of extended family have rejected me for initiating the separation despite my original intent to reconcile. I have been slandered and mistreated by my mom and some of my six sibs these nine years.
Nevertheless, based on your suggesting that a separation/divorce allow the kids to see both parents every day, I moved out to an apartment three blocks from the family home. (Couldn't convince the ex to be the one to leave, visit daily, and work on reconciling :-( ) Even the kids who didn't drive could see us both easily. I did indeed see the kids every day for several years, and in fact, six years after the divorce became final, I still see my sons ages 16 to 26 between two and five evenings a week. I visit the home where they live with their dad, make dinner, help with errands and the like, and share some family time. Living close by and continuing with such frequent contact has made for as easy a transition for the kids as I have ever seen or heard about in a divorcing family.
Your support of those of us who want a meaningful and Godly personal and family life is also valuable to me. I live in central NY State, and I do not find much respect for this among my peers (middle-aged professionals). Living fairly simply as to money and material things, and having a stay at home parent if at all possible during the children's young years I don't regret at all having grown up that way and having raised our kids that way. It is so peaceful and rewarding, and I feel sorry for those around me with more material riches but so little wealth of character.
God bless, thank you, and keep up the good work!
F.
Staff
2011-02-04T04:24:16Z
A Firecracker on SiriusXM!!!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Firecracker-on-SiriusXM!!!-/7780.html
2011-02-03T03:30:26Z
2011-02-03T03:30:26Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dr. Laura,
I have been listening to you since 2006 and I love your motherly passionate voice and awesome radio show. I was nervous when you morphed into something new - but to my utter surprise, I love listening to you on iTunes podcast via Dr. Laura Family Plus. I am glad I did not have to subscribe to SiriusXM, because the only channel I wanted was yours!
Dr Laura, you are even better now that you have moved to SiriusXM. I can tell your voice and opinions are less censored now and it is so refreshing. The new openings are so funny! The one I just heard on this podcast is the one where you talk about liking the Marlboro Man vs. a girly girl man and you said you would honestly ask him if he were on the "down low"...Dr Laura, I laughed so hard, my pet parrot imitated me! Thanks for being so cool!
I wish I could say I listened to you as a kid, but unfortunately my mother can't stand you. She says you are mean and rude. I think, on the contrary, you are real and to the point. I respect that about you. You are my official second mom and role model. I sure listen to you a lot more than I do her!!! I have learned so much more in the second half of my life and I give that credit to you.
The music and openings are great! Tell Mr. Shapiro he is doing a great job! And Kimberly does a great job too!
Love your pseudo-daughter,
Lisa
Staff
2011-02-03T03:30:26Z
Unplanned and the Facebook shark-side
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Unplanned-and-the-Facebook-shark-side/7781.html
2011-02-02T08:50:25Z
2011-02-02T08:50:25Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Hi Dr. Laura!
I was listening to your program last week and
heard Abbey Johnson
tell her story. I was understandably outraged at Planned Parenthood (and have been since listening to you talk about their practices) and posted a link to
Abbey's book
on my Facebook page. That was all it took for a Facebook "friend" to go on the attack. She posted something to the entire Facebook world about deleting someone becasue they posted annoying links on their (my) Facebook page. Well sure enough I was the one she was speaking of, within hours I was "un-friended". Long story short I wrote her a message and this is a copy and paste of my exact email to her:
Hi D., I am just writing regarding the delete. I am sure you felt quite offended by my post yesterday and I don't blame you. Abortion is an offensive subject, I do not like posting about it because it is such a hard thing to think about BUT, I am a Christian and I am commanded to protect the innocent in any way I can. If posting something of Facebook to bring awareness to people is what I can do right now then I will do it. I guess those who have differing opinions don't get debated, just deleted. I am disappointed that you closed your mind to another point of view to the point of deleting me. Someone who is secure about their stand on a subject can handle different opinions even if they disagree to the core they can accept that others have a differing opinion. I personally have many many FB friends that have opinions so different from mine whom I still have as friends even after posting something I find offensive. Something to think about: it is not going to kill anyone to be offended, including myself as I have been offended every so often but the reason I am writing to you is to simply ask you to allow yourself to be offended and to accept people with different opinions than yours-this is a liberating experience!! It is okay to be offended, not fun but it is a part of life. I am not trying to ask you to be my friend again I just wanted you to think about this. I am sure I will see you at a reunion or something one day and I hope I do, you were a lot of fun back in high school and I am sure you are still a great person to hang out with!! Anyway, I hope you have a great week ahead! God bless you!! - H.
I had to share my story of revenge.....if you can call a sweet demeanor revenge.....
Thank you Dr. Laura, I have listened since I was 13 and I am 30 now. You have imparted so much wisdom to me and I thank you for that! Have a GREAT day!!
Staff
2011-02-02T08:50:25Z
What Was So Scary About Being Alone?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Was-So-Scary-About-Being-Alone/7782.html
2011-02-01T05:47:54Z
2011-02-01T05:47:54Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>(I was your call of the day around 11/5/10 and you asked me what was so scary about being alone. And I realized that I used my husband to deal with all of the "scary people": handyman, mechanic, etc).
Well here is my update:
I left him and have been staying in a girlfriend's tiny one bedroom apt. I have the couch and half of the pantry (for clothing, my important papers, etc). I left with nearly nothing, a couple of changes of clothes and went back for my sewing machine and my mother's teapot, a few paintings by my cousin.
I could not be more at peace. I've met with my attorney twice and filed for divorce last week. I met with 2 counselors with my husband and was blown away with reality. How weak I'd been in the face of absurdity. I could not see it clearly until I dealt with myself.
I made a budget and made lists of all of the debt and I feel freer and stronger in the thought of starting over than I ever did with staying the course. I met with a financial advisor that specializes in divorce and he said I was the most prepared person he'd had in his office.
My friends and family have been tremendous support and they tell me they'd been wondering what had taken me so long. I had to learn my lessons, if not doing so I may have been compelled to repeat the same mistakes.
I've read most of the books by David Richo. The one I was reading when I called you was "When the Past is Present". I thought I bought it for a friend but when I began I knew I'd bought it for me: My lesson was to find my own voice and stand up for myself, believe in my integrity, strength of character.
And you drove the point home.
Once I realized I had to let go of the bank in order to flow with the river, the life source, I let myself sail away from the shore where I had been stuck clinging and afraid for so long.
I look forward to my new life and simple goals, to be with family and friends, to travel, to sew, to return to beekeeping, and to pay forward all of the love and support that has sustained over this bumpy road.
Thank you for your wisdom and your tough love, your sharp intuition and your warrior stance.
R.
Staff
2011-02-01T05:47:54Z
Saving My Daughter's Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Saving-My-Daughters-Life/7783.html
2011-01-29T06:15:48Z
2011-01-29T06:15:48Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr Laura!
I love you, appreciate all you do and want to say. "Thank You from the bottom of my heart". I'm a single mom, and my one and only has always come first. However, I called you back in June 2010, upset that my 20 year old daughter had fallen into prescription drugs and I was scared as hell. Your advice, "throw her out and give her no money."
When I spoke to her dad, he said, "Fly her here I'll put her through Daddy Bootcamp." Mind you he's a USAF Colonel. Uncertain and fed up I flew her 2 states away.
It's been 7 months and I have to report to you because of your excellent advice. My daughter is sober, just completed one semester at a local community college and has begun her second semester fulltime, working part time, and talking to me everyday!!!
Her dad returned from his third tour in Iraq last week, and we are both proud of her accomplishments! As of current, she is applying for her dream college FIDM, fashion institute design merchandising, in her favorite city, San Francisco.
I'm so proud of her I could cry with joy! And to think two parents who couldn't speak a pleasant word between us have now united over making the best situation possible for our daughter. And our girl is proud of her mum and dad for speaking kind words and sincerely caring about each other.
Don't you just love how God used the bad to make good?
Thank you so much! The results wouldn't have been the same w/o your expertise and wisdom.
With much fondness and appreciation,
A.
Staff
2011-01-29T06:15:48Z
An Adopted Child is a Chosen Child
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/An-Adopted-Child-is-a-Chosen-Child/7784.html
2011-01-28T05:32:19Z
2011-01-28T05:32:19Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Last week a woman called who had adopted two boys. One was having major problems and you suggested a place she needed to send him to because he had been in a bad home situation for a longer period of time and was having a difficult time adjusting. The younger boy began telling her "you're not my mom". She answered that she hadn't given birth to him, but she loved him.
I came across this card awhile back and it rang a bell:
"CHOSEN CHILD"
"I had to tell you, Dearest Heart, that you are not my own, for fear some meddler would impart that knowledge which is known - that I adopted you to start a home for us alone. I tried to make it plain to you. I hope you understood my friends all had one child or two, their lives seemed full and good and there was nothing else to do but find you. You see, God did not grant my prayer and let me bear a child and so I sought you everywhere until the day you smiled and snuggled as I stroked your hair, and you became my child. No natural mother has a voice in choosing what she gets - a boy, a girl, - she has no choice of blondes or deep brunettes. Therefore, my chosen child, rejoice, and have no vain regrets remember, that first day you smiled I claimed you for my own. I hope that you are reconciled to have the secret known that you are Mother's chosen child, my child, and mine alone".
Dr. Laura, I have had adopted children within my family group and they were told "we CHOSE you - we PICKED you. Out of all the children in the world, you were the special child we chose to love and raise as our own flesh."
I have only one son by blood, but I have two daughters by love. I have one granddaughter by blood but two granddaughters by love and more recently, I have one great-granddaughter and one great-grandson by love. They mean as much to me as if they had my DNA and blood coursing through their veins. I chose their father, grandfather and great-grandfather and in turn, have been blessed to have his family become mine.
I enjoy listening to your show on XM Radio and catch it as often as possible - sometimes taking the long way home or sitting in the garage to hear the end of a call. Thank you for not pulling punches on some of your callers who need to "s___ or get off the pot".
Sincerely,
C
Staff
2011-01-28T05:32:19Z
Not an Altogether Bad Day!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Not-an-Altogether-Bad-Day!/7785.html
2011-01-28T03:19:45Z
2011-01-28T03:19:45Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Ever since I heard your
interview with Abby Johnson
, I've been haunted. You read the opening chapter, and I froze in place. Your voice could have been that of the baby being aborted, had the precious child been given a chance to have a voice. It was the most "real" thing I've heard broadcasted about abortion. I caught my breath, then turned around and looked across my kitchen at my precious daughters, and began to quietly weep. That night, I told my husband about it. He understood. I ended my day in prayers that didn't ask God for one thing. All I said was THANK YOU.
I am writing you today to ask you to never stop beating the drum against abortion. I recently heard that January is "sanctity of life" month. People say that phrase, but in my home, we live it every day of our lives. You see, those precious daughters I stared at across my kitchen while you read Abby's book are great blessing bestowed upon my husband and me. Early in marriage, we learned we were infertile. Some marriages are devastated by infertility. But my husband and I believe it was the BEST thing that could have happened to our marriage. Not only did we get the gift of one another to share and explore life with, we got the gift of adopting two beautiful children.
We are fortunate to know a lot about our children's biological roots. Tragic circumstances, seeped in lifetimes of tragic choices. But when they found out they were pregnant, our girls' birth moms made a choice to give their babies life, and allow us to adopt them. You'd be hard-pressed to find many people in today's society who would recommend anything EXCEPT abortion to these women. Many would say that the best choice for these women would be to abort their babies, and bring two less "problems" to society. Yet they chose life.
Like many moms, I excitedly brought my babies home from the hospital when they were newborns. But my babies traveled lovingly through someone else's arms first. I remember holding my babies close, breathing them in, feeling and seeing the sanctity of life. Sometimes I would imagine somebody hurting, aborting, these precious girls, and the thought actually stopped me from breathing. When they're newborn, it's not hard to imagine their lives in utero. My husband and I have celebrated more than a few happy tears of thanksgiving that they are ALIVE and they are our family.
It's interesting that I chose today to write this to you. We live in a wintry climate, and the whole house just came down with strep throat. Yet you know what? It was not an altogether bad day! I got to take care of my children. I was sick with strep myself, but who cares? I held my kids in my arms, fed them popsicles, loved them through cranky feverish moments. And there's nowhere else I'd rather be.
Defining sanctity of life polarizes people. But they need to understand its about babies, people, marriage, families. That needs to be made more real, and Abby's book does that. YOU do that. Please, never ever stop.
D.
Staff
2011-01-28T03:19:45Z
Sharksided by Little Sharkettes Too!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sharksided-by-Little-Sharkettes-Too!/7786.html
2011-01-26T05:45:21Z
2011-01-26T05:45:21Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Hi Doc.
FINALLY!!! omg FINALLY!! Someone understands how truly devastating and deeply hurtful and harmful it can be to be snubbed and betrayed. In my case, it was not only by the big shark but by his little sharkette followers who did their part to tear me down to maintain their sense of power and status. It caught me so off guard. I felt like they were dogs marking territory and I was the one being peed on...and I did not know I was standing in the wrong place! *jokes
Your words speak to me and I look forward to you helping me find more answers as I read on.
Luckily I have not sought revenge because I did not understand the whys and motivations for what happened. I did not want to take any action that would make me look bitter and weak. "Get over yourself" has been the attitude of the shark pool.
What hurt most is it was so unexpected that my confidence was seriously shaken. Just reading the first chapter of your book is like a warm stream of sunlight. I am understanding they were intimidated by my talents and abilities. They did not hurt me because I was weak, but because I was strong. They hurt me because I had things to offer, not because I had no value. The betrayal made me feel worthless.
For the first time in a long while, you are helping me believe in myself again... (tearing up a bit here...sheesh) I do have things to offer....I do have worth!
OK!! Off I go to read onward. I will let you know how it all works out.
With Heartfelt Thanks,
P., podcast listener
Staff
2011-01-26T05:45:21Z
I Did a Shark Attack
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Did-a-Shark-Attack/7787.html
2011-01-24T05:38:10Z
2011-01-24T05:38:10Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>I had a friend for 20 years. We knew one another before we met our husbands and got married. We stayed friends on the telephone when she moved far away. One year we took a road trip around the South together and had a really good time.
The problem came because I had a blog, and I blogged about her and our road trip. I was really pretty naive and stupid, and that was where I was coming from when I blogged, used her name, said things that it turns out were misunderstandings, and showed some places we went. I really, really did a wrong thing. I did it because my blog made me some friends and got me some attention, and I craved attention.
I lost the friendship. She even spoke to lawyers about suing me for libel. To her I had done this thing deliberately and just sort of turned on her. To my mind I had done this thing fo r the sake of telling a story to anyone who cared to read, and I was...just clueless.
I know what I did lost the friendship, and I even got a little obnoxious to her in a defensive way. I didn't understand how hurtful I'd been, and I never knew she was so averse about being on the internet, and anyway I was too stupid to know to check with her first.
That was many years ago and I still hurt and try to find some way to reconcile it within myself but I think I haven't even discovered the depth of the harm I did. I still miss her all the time, and I know I'll never have that level of insensitivity again, but I'm frightened that I was capable of doing such a thing and I've let go of other friendships because I felt I might go that route again.
I write this just to tell your listeners and readers to think once, twice, three times, about speaking of someone to third parties and strangers, because it's just cheap. I know because I behaved that way.
Thanks for talking about this subject.
L.
Staff
2011-01-24T05:38:10Z
Elvis Swims Through Shark Infest Waters for Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Elvis-Swims-Through-Shark-Infest-Waters-for-Me/7788.html
2011-01-21T05:55:09Z
2011-01-21T05:55:09Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>My husband is an entertainer - specifically, he is an Elvis Presley Tribute Artist. He regularly performs as Elvis, recreating the looks, moves, and sound of "The King of Rock 'n Roll."
In his show, right before he sings the song "The Wonder of You", he asks the audience to raise their hands if they are married. Then he asks the women to keep their hands up if they know their husband would swim through shark infested waters to bring them a glass of lemonade. There is usually a significant number of hands that go down. He says, "What happened? We were doing so well!" Then he sings the song, instructing the audience to listen to the words carefully and be that person to their spouse.
When he asks these questions, I always raise my hand from behind the curtain where I am usually located, running his sound and lights. Even though this may seem unprofessional, I want everyone to know that MY husband is willing to swim those shark infested waters to bring me my lemonade.
A recent example: I ordered something online in the middle of December. I have now realized (4 weeks later), that my address was inadvertently listed wrong on that website - one number off. So the order that I have been waiting for was send to our neighbors (who we don't know).
My husband has just gone out in the rain, at 8:15 at night, to visit our neighbors and ask about the package. And he is doing it without grumbling, without asking for anything in return, and without being upset or angry, because he knows it is important to me.
Thank you Dr. Laura for helping my husband become a MAN, not a boy who is married. And thank you for helping me to become the wife and girlfriend he deserves.
S.
Staff
2011-01-21T05:55:09Z
Mommy Who?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mommy-Who/7789.html
2011-01-21T05:42:21Z
2011-01-21T05:42:21Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
This morning I was downstairs in the kitchen making breakfast when two sleepy 6-year old twin boys and their 4-year old sister walked tiredly down the stairs. All of them were dressed in their Disney "footy" pajamas, and were rubbing their eyes. As usual, morning hugs and kisses were given, and we cuddled on the couch under a blanket and read a morning story. After that we ate breakfast, and continued with their morning routine of getting dressed and ready for the day. After the struggle of getting the boys in their snow-pants, boots, coats, hats, mittens, and scarves, the bus came and they ran off with their Lego backpacks, shouting "Bye Mom".
Well, I'm not their mother.
I am a 22-year old college student, putting myself through school by working as a nanny. I get called "mom" all the time by accident, and I want to cry each and every time for two reasons: one, for the mom who is missing out on hearing them say "Mom", and two, for the children who are practically being raised by me, and not their parents. I have been watching these children for three years, and have potty-trained, taught them how to swim, pulled loose teeth, and taken them to the zoo. I have fixed boo-boos, rocked them to sleep, organized play-dates, and taken them to sports practices.
What I don't understand is why I am there. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy to have such a secure job and be able to educate myself without loans, but both of these parents make a significant amount of money, and this family could easily downgrade their enormous house and material items and live very comfortably on one salary but they choose not to. They choose to have me come early in the morning, and leave late at night. They choose for me to "deal with" their children, instead of taking the time to learn how to properly discipline them. They choose for me to hear giggles, happy squeals, and "I love yous".
Dr. Laura, in a generation of young women who have been told it is "ok" to be a working mom, I can guarantee I will never become one. Yes, I am almost done with my University program, and will hopefully work full-time after graduation. But I can guarantee when I get married and have children, my degree will be placed on the wall, and I will remember all the hard work I put into it, and then I will look at my children, who will probably be creating a mess, and smile because I know they will be worth more than that piece of paper on the wall, or a paycheck that can buy fancy things.
I know I will face people who say I worked so hard for nothing, but in my eyes I will know I worked so hard for my children, my family, who will be everything. Thank you for giving confidence to us young women who still have our hearts set on being full time mothers.
Gratefully,
S.
Staff
2011-01-21T05:42:21Z
My Pedestal is a Running Board!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Pedestal-is-a-Running-Board!/7790.html
2011-01-20T23:54:34Z
2011-01-20T23:54:34Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura:
After 28 years of marriage to a wonderful man, who I did not always appreciate the way I should have, but since I read both The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands and... Marriage have and continue to change that.... I wanted to share with you how my husband puts me on a pedestal...
Here in Maine we get a lot of snow in the winter which leads to very yucky roads. Well, on Sundays, we go to Mass and as I was taught at a young age - I "dress up" for Mass and quite often wear a very long black leather coat.
In order that my coat does not get any mud or "yuck" on it from the running board on our truck - every Sunday morning my adorable husband takes a two gallon container of hot water out and rinses off the running board before I get in! That way my long coat does not get muddy before Mass.
How is that for a Pedestal?
A very happy wife - thank you for your books!
T
Staff
2011-01-20T23:54:34Z
Looking At Other Husbands - I've Got a Real Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Looking-At-Other-Husbands---Ive-Got-a-Real-Man/7791.html
2011-01-19T08:35:13Z
2011-01-19T08:35:13Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>I've always known that my husband is a wonderful man. But today it really sunk in when I simply took a look at other husbands out there.
I met my husband 11 years ago and we've been married for almost 8 years. We have a 5 1/2 year old son, 3 year old daughter, and a Pug, cats, and chickens, a complete family! I am a stay-at-home-Mom, which was one of my first clues my husband was a real man. When we were dating he made it clear he felt the Mother should stay home with the children. At the time, I was actually appalled! I thought, "How dare he! What if I want a career?!" Luckily I had you Dr. Laura at the time filling my head daily with wise wisdom!
So now I am at home, very, very busy holding the fort down and I look around at my girlfriends or acquaintances who are mothers and work out of the home. I don't know how they keep their heads screwed on correctly and juggle that heavy plate! Seeing them as examples, now I know why women with little ones shouldn't work! I'm witnessing the kids getting the short end of the stick. One friend decided she wanted to work part-time. First she couldn't find a baby-sitter who wasn't always late, causing her to be late to her job. In the morning, her husband took the vehicle that was running well and left her the one with battery troubles. Meaning, by the time she got to school to drop off her son, luckily my husband was there to help her get the car started again. My husband came home very upset and couldn't believe a husband would do that to his kids and wife. What if they had been stranded somewhere? I guess it's the same type of husband who is okay with his wife working out of the home. I now can see everything full circle and clearly. In this New Year, I'm so grateful for my husband who I can call a real man. I'm also grateful that many, many years from now, I will be able to look back and say I was here at home with my children, not a babysitter or day care. I know I will never regret this decision.
I only get this one husband and these 2 kids, I want to do it right!
C.
Staff
2011-01-19T08:35:13Z
Mom, What Did You Want to be When You Grew Up?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mom,-What-Did-You-Want-to-be-When-You-Grew-Up/7792.html
2011-01-18T05:18:56Z
2011-01-18T05:18:56Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Hi Dr Laura,
As we were sitting around the dinner table the other night, my 12-year old turned to me and asked,
"Mom, what did you want to be when you grew up?"
Without hesitation I said, "I always wanted to be a mom with two boys."
He laughed and said, "No mom, what did you want to be?"
My 14-year old son chimed in asking if I wanted to be a doctor or a lawyer. He remembered I had a degree in Economics and asked if I wanted to be an Economist.
Again, I said, "No, I wanted to be a mom with two boys."
It really was my dream to have a wonderful husband who would provide for us while I stayed at home with my two boys. I didn't want girls because I knew I would never able to fix their hair properly. I wanted two, crazy, testosterone-driven boys. God gave me all of this, and yet my children were in disbelief as to what I wanted to be when I grew up.
My 12-year old asked again, "Mom, really, what did you want to be?"
I said, "Being a mom is the best job in the world. Why would anyone want to be anything else? I love being a mom. You guys make my life happy and I love going to work."
There was quite a bit of eye-rolling as I said this. They couldn't believe anyone would just want to be a mom. I think they expected me to have "bigger" ambitions. They didn't understand that being a mom was most important job any woman would ever experience. They didn't get being at all their school functions and sport activities was so much fun for me. They didn't comprehend that helping them with homework and making sure they were loved and acknowledged was the most demanding job in the world. They just thought a MOM was not enough.
As we finished dinner, my youngest was going to try and pin me down one more time. "Mom, what kind of job did you want where you would get a paycheck every week?"
I told him payments can come in different forms and I didn't need to be paid in cash to have a job. There are other ways for people to get paid like in compliments or self satisfaction.
Looking confused and defeated, he gave me a kiss and hug and said, "Well, I am glad you are my mom."
As he walked away, I smiled to myself thinking I had done a great job at the office today. And what about the paycheck, you ask? Can one really put a price tag on a kiss, hug and compliment from a 12-year old boy that calls you MOM? Or should we just say priceless?
R.
Staff
2011-01-18T05:18:56Z
Spaghetti and Meatballs Gives Me a Title for my Everyday Chores
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Spaghetti-and-Meatballs-Gives-Me-a-Title-for-my-Everyday-Chores/7793.html
2011-01-15T05:56:09Z
2011-01-15T05:56:09Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>I had the whole kitchen clean by 5pm knowing that late night dinners and snacks would load the sink yet again (It was a serve yourself night).
I knew no one would clean up after themselves although the rule is if you eat something, you wash your plate and cups - don't leave dishes in the sink... Ha, so you would think hubby who usually follows the rule could have a night off, and the 16 yr old son who dirtied 2 plates and a cup... and the 20 yr old daughter....hmmm so as I wake to a sink-table-counter full of dishes, I tell myself I could leave it there for them... Or I could know they are off to school and work and I am home loving them... I can be thankful I have a beautiful home with dishes to wash... What families are in shelters or homeless with no dishes to wash?
And also I can not complain... my new years resolution is to not point out my 20 yr old daughter's messes... and to not complain or give orders more than once a month. I already mentioned that I would like my daughter to clean my bathroom because she refuses to clean her bathroom and she uses mine because it is already clean...not because hair does not fall or condensation and dust does not cling to the seat... but because I clean it often... She thinks her bathroom is dirty because other people use it being the main bathroom... So I am lucky I have two bathrooms... But I refuse to clean more than one... having a 16 yr old son a 20 yr old daughter and the 8 yr old does more cleaning than either of them.. (5 of our children are grown and out)...I should be happy that 3 still remain...I will enjoy my spaghetti (and salad and garlic toast and sweet tea) and stop focusing on the missing meatballs. It is helping me to keep my new years resolution of not complaining or pointing out other peoples messes ...
I have a choice to leave it there until they notice it... and clean it up themselves or their dad notices and tells them. Or I can clean it myself and if no one notices I clean up after them... when they are grown and move out... they may notice it when the dish fairy and mess fairy doesn't visit their house... Silently enjoying my spaghetti... as I do the household chores that working mom's are too tired to do, and homeless mom's don't have the privilege of doing.
C.
Staff
2011-01-15T05:56:09Z
5 Hour Energy: Disregards Men
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/5-Hour-Energy:-Disregards-Men/7794.html
2011-01-14T05:14:21Z
2011-01-14T05:14:21Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
I heard you read that email about the Tide commercial. It made me think of this 5 Hour Energy commercial where a working mom was talking about how she is tired because she goes to work then comes home "straight to her second job". When her husband recommended 5 Hour Energy, she now has enough energy to do everything. And then she says with an annoyed look on her face, "For once, my husband is right." I don't know what's up with the disregard of men in today's TV and commercials... But I bet that 5 Hour Energy isn't going to get him any sex any time soon!
Cindy
Staff
2011-01-14T05:14:21Z
Tide: Getting Around Fathers...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Tide:-Getting-Around-Fathers.../7795.html
2011-01-13T08:40:35Z
2011-01-13T08:40:35Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>I was home during the day recently and saw the following ad for Tide laundry detergent. A father finds his daughter's very short skirt hanging on the clothes line, he pulls it off the line and hides it. Later the daughter finds the skirt, her mother washes it and at the end of the commercial the daughter is dancing out the front door showing her dad the newly laundered skirt and mom is smiling. The ad says something about Tide can even get around dads or something to that effect. I believe this ad indicates a total disregard for fathers. Obviously this man cared enough about his daughter to not want her to go out dressed in such a short skirt. I'm not sure what bothered me more, the daughter "getting one over" on her dad or the pleasure her mother seemed to have in helping her do it. I called Tide / Proctor and Gamble and emailed them to file my concern. I doubt it made much difference but I felt better at least letting them know how I feel.
Thanks and Happy New Year.
J.
Staff
2011-01-13T08:40:35Z
Because of You!!!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Because-of-You!!!/7796.html
2010-12-16T10:18:44Z
2010-12-16T10:18:44Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Because of you, I now am getting tons of presents from my sweetie, when before he would forget. Because of you, he comes home with a smile on his face and is glad to be home. Because of you, I now wear jewelry every day, whereas before it would get dusty packed away in some drawer. Because of you, my sweetie gives each month to a wonderful charity for wounded soldier's families, and it has opened his heart. Because of you, after purchasing a couple of your necklaces, he decided our new hobby (to enjoy together), is making jewelry. Because of you, even when money is tight, he has been looking for a pair of nice earrings to give me for Christmas. Because of you, I am getting "African Queen," your jewelry at Moonstones.com and I am thrilled. This quote is from his email to me this morning, "it will look twice as good once you are wearing it" the rest of the email is private. Because of you, my boyfriend is back after 37 years. Thanks for caring and giving me my sweetheart back and giving me a backbone to use when I need to. I stand up a lot straighter these days.
P.
By the way, your advice was right on the mark, seeing the sunrise or sunset, holding hands, walking and not talking is as good as it can get.
Staff
2010-12-16T10:18:44Z
My Family Hates You (I Think You're Great)
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Family-Hates-You-I-Think-Youre-Great/7797.html
2010-12-15T08:06:05Z
2010-12-15T08:06:05Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
I've wanted to write to you for some time, but I'm just getting around to it now that my kids are finally in college.
I was raised in a very liberal family and I worked right up until the time my first child was born (I was literally at work when I went into labor). I assumed I would go back to work soon after my son was born, but everything changed in those first few weeks. I instinctively knew my son needed me, and even though there was pressure from all sides to go back to work, including from my husband and his family, I held out. I wish I would have know about you then. I felt like I was the only one in the world making this decision (twenty-some years ago).
I had a daughter two years later, but I had not chosen my husband wisely, and even if I had, I knew nothing about being a good wife. My marriage only lasted until my children were toddlers.
After I divorced, my ex-husband had virtually nothing to do with the children, and I wondered if I should look for someone to be a father to them. My son was beginning to show some of the typical problems of a boy growing up without a man in the house. Once again, I went with my instinct, which told me my children did not need my attention to be subdivided. I never dated while my children were growing up.
My son did have problems, lots of problems, including getting thrown out of several schools and getting arrested when he was fourteen. I did the best I could, combining love with firm discipline. I was always self-employed, so my kids came to work with me when they were little, and I arranged my hours so I was always there when they came home.
Then one day, I came across your program on the radio. Here was someone finally saying I was on the right track, and it helped take away some of the self-doubt I had always felt. It helped my to stay strong and continue what I was doing, even with everyone I knew questioning my decisions.
Well, even with these less than ideal circumstances, my son finally settled down and is now a student in his third year of college and my daughter went off to college this September. I'm proud to say both my children are responsible, compassionate, and hard-working young adults (and by the way, now everyone compliments me on the great job I did raising them). So I'm constantly singing your praises and directing people to your advice. I have to tell you my mom and sisters groan when I mention your name, but I'm working on them. When they compare my kids to how children of other divorced parents have turned out, when those children had to deal with absent/working mothers and a constant flow of boyfriends/girlfriends, step-siblings, etc., they have to admit that your advice makes a lot of sense.
S.
Staff
2010-12-15T08:06:05Z
Turning Point
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Turning-Point/7798.html
2010-12-15T07:58:05Z
2010-12-15T07:58:05Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Hi Dr Laura,
I live in Southern California and have been listening to your program for about 3 years now. I can say that your program truly helped me understand my priority in life.
I've been married for about 10 years and about 22 months ago was blessed with a beautiful daughter. Sadly, when my daughter was 3 months old, we decided to put her in a day care. Since the day care was closer to my work, I'm the one who has to drop her off at 8am and pick her up at 5pm. On many occasions, my daughter was sleeping in her car seat when I dropped her off, but there was one day that change everything. On that day, my daughter was waking up, right after I gave the car seat, with my daughter in it to the day care lady. She smiled at me and looked happy that I was there. That was the turning moment for me. It broke my heart to see her smile at me, but yet I let some stranger raise her...
I can happily say my wife now is a stay home mom. After just 2 months of being raised by a stranger, my daughter is now enjoying her childhood time with my wife. Honestly, it wasn't easy. It took a lot of commitment from my wife and me, but we manage to make it work.
This Christmas, I'll take my wife to the mall and let her choose a present to show appreciation for her hard work. Our finances are tight, but I don't mind using public transportation to go to work to save some gas money. The smile and laughter of my wife and daughter on the phone are more than enough to make it all worth it.
Thank you for what you do.
Enrico
Staff
2010-12-15T07:58:05Z
My Experiences with Day Care
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Experiences-with-Day-Care/7799.html
2010-12-14T00:30:48Z
2010-12-14T00:30:48Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Long time listener ..
Let me tell you a day care experience. My daughter, a single mom, lives in a northern state Her children were in a large day care - one of those in a shopping center the front looks pretty good on the surface. On a visit, I went to the day care to pick up my grandchildren. It was summer and about 90' ..I found the children about twenty of them out back in an area about 18ft by 18ft. There was a plastic slide and other toys so not much room for activity.. They were sweltering. A young woman sat with a spray bottle of water spraying her face and occasionally a tiny red sweaty face. She asked one of the children to go ask the more senior person inside if they could come inside the answer was " not yet".. One of the little girls put her arms around my legs and asked if I could be her mommy. It was very sad...
My relationship with my daughter is occasionally rocky I keep reminding myself to not as you say pick fights or I my loose contact with my grandchildren ...That evening my daughter told me it was the closest day care to her and it was not that bad....
I returned in the winter and again went to the day care this time there had been a frost it was just above freezing. Again the children were out back in this small area two young girls about 16 yrs sitting huddled and shivering, these were the children's caretakers - children taking care of children... I saw a child with just a hoodie sitting in an inch of freezing water on the woodchips ...That was my precious granddaughter less than 2yrs old .....No one could explain why she did not have her coat on.....
That night I told my daughter what I had found and it was not acceptable. I had to do something about this. I had seen something that was the disrespect and neglect of children...I am a mandated reporter ...Everyone should be mandated to report abuse and neglect...The next day I called the licensing agency and child protective agency... I did not discuss it with my daughter again. I kept the children home as much as I could. I was told by the licensing agency they had several complaints and were looking into it . I gave them my name and told them they could use it anytime and that I would stand up and report to anyone the conditions of this day care....I called every day sometimes two ...demanded to speak with the supervisor and the person who had licensed this day care ..asked how many surprise visits had been done and let them know I was not going away. In fact I was going above their heads. I had also found out by talking to my older grandchild other violations. By the end of the second week the notice came the day care in question was to be closed ...The owners were not to be allowed to operate a day care in that state again. My daughter did not ask me if I had done it and I did not say. She found a small learning academy ....My daughter is working less hours. Where did the owners of the day care go? Last I heard they went to the next state over to open a day care.
I.
Staff
2010-12-14T00:30:48Z
Kids Stealing and Getting Away With It... Or Not!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Kids-Stealing-and-Getting-Away-With-It...-Or-Not!/7800.html
2010-12-10T07:07:06Z
2010-12-10T07:07:06Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dr. Laura,
Thanks to you and my wonderful parents, I have made many good choices, over the years. I married my "Prince" 20 years ago, who would swim through oil soaked waters to bring me a cafe' au lait (we live in New Orleans and he works on the Miss. river). We have 4 wonderful children ranging in age from 15 to 7 and I'm happy to be a stay-at-home mom!
This past May, some punks who live in our neighborhood decided to break into our home. I surprised them by coming home early from our kindergartener's closing ceremony. Of course, I called the police and wanted to press charges. Shockingly, the 3 sets of idiots they have for parents were horrified! How could I ruin these "young lives"? It was only a misunderstanding, and now their lives would be ruined! Could I really face them in court? Well? YES !!! The police took them away in a police car and released them to their parents. I wanted them arrested and handcuffed, but since they were under 16- it was illegal. This was not the first time they "trespassed" into someone's home in our gated community. Nor the first time their "parents" had to rescue them from angry homeowners who also caught them in other homes. Just the first time anyone called the police. Several of my neighbors thanked me for doing what they couldn't bring themselves to do.
As for your
video regarding the daughter's friend stealing
an ATM card and using it, I hope the parents do call the police and file chargers. I have you to thank for helping me grow a backbone over the years! These kids are on the road to disaster and at least I can say I tried to help when their parents wouldn't.
Thank you and your family for the service you do for all of us.
Your loyal and grateful fan,
C.
Staff
2010-12-10T07:07:06Z
Anger is an ENERGY
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Anger-is-an-ENERGY/7801.html
2010-12-09T08:33:27Z
2010-12-09T08:33:27Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Here's another offering for the "Stop Being a Victim" book I hope you'll write:
One reason we keep on being victims is because, coming out of a brutal childhood, we fear ANGER. We lived in households full of rage and were daily targets of it. We end up feeling that anger destroys; it can wreck the world. Because it DID. I grew up determined I never wanted to hurt anyone else, the way my mother's alcoholic rages had affected me. And I thought that meant never expressing anger.
As adults, then, we not only fear others' anger (often becoming placators) we fear our OWN anger. Having been abused as children, we are often FILLED with an anger we can't acknowledge, even to ourselves. We feel a rage that seems profound enough to destroy whole new worlds. One crack in that dam and it might all come crashing out! So, reaching that level of feeling in adult relationships, we sometimes FLEE rather than access feelings we do not perceive as "safe" for anyone.
I eventually learned (through mental rehearsal and tentative experimentation in the world) to access and handle my own anger in productive ways. In my everyday interactions, a fair and righteous anger DOESN'T destroy the world. It is NOT the same as my mother's toxic outbursts.
And here's what I learned: Anger is an ENERGY. Handled properly, it is so much more productive than depression. But if you spend a lifetime internalizing it, it spreads all over your insides like napalm, and BECOMES depression.
Thanks again,
L.
Staff
2010-12-09T08:33:27Z
I Stopped Living A Lie
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Stopped-Living-A-Lie/7802.html
2010-12-07T08:44:00Z
2010-12-07T08:44:00Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
My thinking has come full circle, and I give you all the credit.
I had always been a stay at home mom, for many of the reasons you discuss every day. I've listened to you for over 20 years, and needed you to keep me strong while I cleaned up puke and poop. My boys entered the 5th and 10th grades this fall, so thinking "wow, this is great" started substitute teaching. When I worked I felt really proud of myself for being a super mom. I had back up plans and an intricate network of finding "other" care for my 10 year old. I naively thought my newly licensed 16yr old could do all the transporting for his brother, to and from school and karate. I would ask my older son not to come home because it would be more efficient to stay near the dojo rather than coming home and driving back across town to the dojo in an hour. I didn't realize I was pushing my responsibilities onto my older son and husband. I felt really efficient, still made dinner, kept up with the house work etc. (lie, I just wasn't home enough to notice the dirt or remember when the bathroom was last cleaned). I did all this just by picking up the pace, giving my husband quick instructions, and going through the motions as quickly as possible. I was living a lie. My home life had never been so chaotic, but had a veneer of structure and routine.
My kids went to school sick a couple times because I had already rushed out the door without glancing their way. Once I sent my 10yr old to school with a fever. When the acetaminophen wore off at 10 o'clock, he became feverish, so the school nurse called. I pretended not to know anything and suggested he rest for an hour, before trying again. That lie gave me at least an hour to get my husband to drop everything and pick him up, because I couldn't get away from my job, which ironically was taking care of other peoples' kids. Periodically we'd have family meetings and I'd lay more responsibilities on them, all the while complimenting them for basically fending for themselves.
Dr. Laura, you helped me admit my boys still need me. I'm grateful for the opportunity to be there for them. Everybody is happier and more relaxed now that I'm not working all day at my job. Thank you for keeping me cheerful while I work around the house and yard. You are a gift.
Sincerely,
Re-committed Rita
Staff
2010-12-07T08:44:00Z
Be Brave
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Be-Brave/7803.html
2010-12-06T11:43:55Z
2010-12-06T11:43:55Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>I don't know or care how much it costs, but I will start my SiriusXM subscription today because I need to hear more of what you are saying. It's not new stuff - I say the same stuff. I just need to hear I am not alone in thinking or feeling about the world. When I get "silenced" I will remember that there is always a means to being heard: I just can't quit on myself (or the people that have chosen me to be their guide). I can go underground, above ground, sideways or horizontal in my thinking and actions in order to continue to have and hold my opinions without offending others or offending myself by stifling my opinions or changing them according to what is "right" in the world view. Behind every scary turn in the world is a bunch of people brave enough to stand up for what is true: we can - and need to - all get along.
With love,
J
Staff
2010-12-06T11:43:55Z
I Like Being Short
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Like-Being-Short/7804.html
2010-12-03T07:13:11Z
2010-12-03T07:13:11Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>I just heard the call from the girl who was tired of being picked on because she was short. I am not too short (5'4), but my husband and my kids are. My kids have never been picked on (at least not for long,) because early on, they knew all of the advantages that come with being short. For instance:
We always have leg room on the airplane.
When we pack to go on vacation, there is room on the car to take all our stuff.
(From my athletic soccer player) I have a lower center of gravity I can make faster cuts on the field.
(From my cross-country runner) I can run a 10K in 50 minutes, what can you do?
People always ask the tall people to get things they can't reach, no one ever asks me to pick things up because I am closer to the ground.
God knew I wanted to be a fighter pilot when I grow up.
I have such a big personality that, if I were any taller, it would be overwhelming to most people.
And for the people who just won't quit being annoying:
It's kinda cute, don't you think? (and if they say "no", tilt your head, look at them quizzically, like you can't believe they won't agree with you, shrug your shoulders and walk away)
I can't do anything about my height, but I can do something about my muscles, wanna challenge me to a push-up contest? (My kids can do anywhere between 40 and 60, and their chin touches the ground too!)
It's a disguise. At night, I'm a supermodel. Cool, huh?
When God handed out brains, I got in line twice. You must have gotten in the tall line twice.
Francoise
Staff
2010-12-03T07:13:11Z
We had a Day Orphanage Debate in Class
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-had-a-Day-Orphanage-Debate-in-Class/7805.html
2010-12-02T05:29:53Z
2010-12-02T05:29:53Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Good afternoon Dr. Laura!
Thank you very much for all of the wisdom and generosity you give your fans everyday, you are always correct about things.
Today we had a debate on day care for our speech class (for college) and I was the lead speaker for the side that argues against day care (it was 2 guys, versus 3 girls who supported day care). It was one hour long, and I must say I almost wanted to vomit upon hearing the other debaters. Their reasons for supporting day care were nothing more than "I, ME, and MINE."
One of the girls actually said, "What kind of a parent can watch their kid 24/7?" It made me SICK! Even worse, they claim that day care is the best place to put sick children! I didn't see any good arguments from them.
When I cross-examined them they couldn't answer any of my questions. They even paused and zone out when I asked them, "If you can't afford kids then why would you have them?" The answer was simply watered down to, "Because we are entitled to have what we want."
They got angry when I called day cares "day orphanages" (thank you for that line Dr. Laura!).
Unfortunately, we lost the debate with a vote of 6-7. COINCIDENTALLY there are 7 women and 6 men in our class... I'm guessing that is why we lost even though I had countered every question they asked and didn't pause during my persuasive speech. I was right when I predicted the outcome of this (seems like you can't change someone's mind once they are made up). And by the way, none of those girls had kids of their own.
J.
Staff
2010-12-02T05:29:53Z
A Couple of: You Go, Girl
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Couple-of:-You-Go,-Girl/7806.html
2010-12-01T06:42:54Z
2010-12-01T06:42:54Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Subject: You Go, Girl!
Thank you for all you do! Keep your opinions coming, even if we don't always like them!
C.
Subject: Some People Get Offended
You go Girl!!! We love you... and love that you tell it like it is. Remember the old commercial, when the guy slaps the side of his cheek and says, "Thanks I needed that!" Hopefully it will wake everyone up and realize they need to think before they act.
C.
Staff
2010-12-01T06:42:54Z
Tickled to Death
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Tickled-to-Death/7807.html
2010-11-30T05:15:06Z
2010-11-30T05:15:06Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dr. Laura!
I have been an avid listener of your show for over 10 years and am "tickled to death" that you are switching over to Sirius XM. I can't tell you how many local radio stations I've searched trying to chase you down as you move and my family moves around. Now we will all have a new home. The fact that your shows will be repeated over the weekend is icing on the CAKE! I have called you twice and learned so much from you over the years. I'm a strong Type A personality who married a gentle thinker and your opinion has moved mountains in our marriage. We have two boys (1 & 3) who are also reaping the benefits.
I just upgraded my Sirius XM subscription to a lifetime membership so BRING IT ON!
Love,
Margaret
Staff
2010-11-30T05:15:06Z
Cut to the Chase
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cut-to-the-Chase/7808.html
2010-11-25T00:36:07Z
2010-11-25T00:36:07Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr, Laura,
It used to upset me when you wouldn't allow the person calling you explain all details, reasons, etc. about the issue you were addressing, trying to make them understand that all the other "circumstances were really not important. It finally gave me an "AHA" moment. I have had so many issues since my divorce after 40 yrs of marriage to a man who constantly ran me down, in private and in public, physically abused me, which he had me convinced "It was my fault." He didn't recall doing this, etc. I finally really understood there are no excuses, just the facts, it was my choice. I had ran out of excuses for his behaviors. I know through listening to you daily there is no excuse. I did everything I could to protect myself, except "the right thing". I'm taking the hard road to hopefully be an example, as you have drilled into me. I 'm willing to not accept that it was my fault in any way, but I'm not going to sweep this under the carpet any more. There were consequences of not telling anyone, protecting him, because somewhere in my soul was screaming at me to do "The right thing". The price I've paid for this was, severe anxiety, afraid to do things that were important to me. I totally lost something that is so precious to me - peace. Thank you so much for hammering this into me until I truly understood your message.
M.
Staff
2010-11-25T00:36:07Z
How To Preserve a Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-To-Preserve-a-Husband/7809.html
2010-11-23T05:50:43Z
2010-11-23T05:50:43Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>I came across this in the "Jams and Preserves" section of "What's Cookin'?", a recipe book compiled by St. Peter's Lutheran Church. (We purchased it at a book sale at our local library.) - Teri
How To Preserve a Husband - Author Unknown
Be careful in your selection. Do not choose too young.
Take only such varieties as have been reared in a good moral atmosphere.
When once decided upon and selected, let that part remain forever settled and give your entire thought to the preparation for domestic use.
Some insist on keeping them in a pickle, while others are constantly getting them into hot water.
Even poor varieties may be made sweet, tender and good by garnishing them with patience, well sweetened with smiles and flavored with kisses.
Then wrap well in a mantle of love. Keep warm with a steady fire of domestic devotion and serve with the fruits of constant devotion and the milk of human kindness. When thus prepared, they will keep for years.
Staff
2010-11-23T05:50:43Z
When Did our Children become a Burden?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-Did-our-Children-become-a-Burden/7810.html
2010-11-20T08:24:38Z
2010-11-20T08:24:38Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>As I travel through my local area in Leander, TX on the search for a new park with my 2 year old twins, singing and having a grand time together, I notice four new childcare locations being built within a two block radius. What??!! Better yet, the talk radio program in the background is discussing the probability of airlines limiting the flight times for children as to not disturb the "business travelers".
Every day, I notice more examples of society and parents living AROUND their children as if offspring are now a heavy burden to endure instead of a blessing to love and cherish. I can't imagine what the future "burdens" of America will do if they choose to procreate. I just wish every parent loved their children as much as I love mine it's the greatest blessing I could have ever received.
~K
Staff
2010-11-20T08:24:38Z
Blondes and a Building
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Blondes-and-a-Building/7811.html
2010-11-20T08:22:48Z
2010-11-20T08:22:48Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Hi Dr. Laura -
Long time listener. Don't always love what you say, but you are almost always correct! (I have a mother like this - lucky for me!)
Corny joke for you ... from one "blonde" to another:
"Two blondes walk into a building........you'd think at least one of them would have seen it."
Ba rump bump ...
Best,
S
Staff
2010-11-20T08:22:48Z
I Went Out And Bought A New Dress
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Went-Out-And-Bought-A-New-Dress/7812.html
2010-11-18T23:58:47Z
2010-11-18T23:58:47Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>I had only just begun your book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands when I ran into a communication problem with my husband and wanted to be sad or angry, but stopped myself to reflect. I had just bought a new dress…you know the style where the waistline is just under the chest area and it can create sort of a "preggy" look. Well my husband and I had, just one month before, lost a baby late in the pregnancy. And although I was back in shape, I bought this dress. I thought it was pretty and stylish. My husband commented to me that it was ugly and he never wanted to see it again, then saying, didn't I think he wanted to see me "not looking pregnant for a change".
My feelings were very hurt and I thought he was mean, but I bit my tongue. I reflected and thought about his unsaid words. I realized that he had been strong for me during the loss of our baby, that he had been hurting just as much. But because he is my man and my knight and wanted to fix everything for me ( I learned that from your book) and this he couldn't fix, so therefore he felt helpless, that this lashing out at a dress that kind of makes a woman look pregnant ( although the trendy style at the time) was hurting him and he had no way to put that into words. So instead of whining and being sad, I sucked it up and put that dress at the bottom of a drawer and eventually gave it to Goodwill.
I forgot he was human too and that this loss was just as big for him, even though it wasn't in his body. And I remembered that he once told me it killed him to see me sad, especially when there was nothing he could do to change it. In conclusion, men can't always express their angst the same as women, but they feel and sometimes we women take their comments as mean to us when it really wasn't mean at all. Thanks for your book Dr. Laura.
~C.S.
Staff
2010-11-18T23:58:47Z
As a SAHM, I Was Able to'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/As-a-SAHM,-I-Was-Able-to/7813.html
2010-11-17T22:24:40Z
2010-11-17T22:24:40Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
I am a relatively recent listener (within the past couple of years), but I feel like I've known you for ages! I am a 35 year old woman, and proud to be my husband's girlfriend and my kids' STAY AT HOME mom! I have been at home with my children for 12 years, since our first son was born and I have never looked back!
I've always been the first to say that I wanted to stay home even after all my children were in school, as I believed they needed a calm mom to come home to who has managed the home, run the errands, done the volunteer work and such, and is ready for quality time with her children when they came in the door from school. I have always wanted to be the home my children want to bring their friends to, to hang out, play, whatever!
I admit that lately, though, I have been having a bit of an identity crisis. Now that all three of my children are in school full time, the thought of getting a part time job during the day has crossed my mind. I am happy to say that today, I made my decision!
You see, today my son's school called me to tell me that he'd thrown up. Yes, that awful stomach flu is going around! What a blessing in the timing, Dr. Laura! I know that sounds weird, but I realized the differences in my life if I were to go back to work (even part time!):
I was able to be at my son's side within 10 minutes of getting the phone call. That included time to grab a "puke bucket," throw on my shoes and drive to the school. There were no frantic explanations to an employer, no trying to get a shift covered, no waiting to get to my son!
I was able to comfort an embarrassed 2nd grader who'd just thrown up in class, in front of all his friends, while the emotions were still fresh and the tears were still on his cheeks. I was able to share embarrassing stories of my childhood and reassure him that we all have things that have embarrassed us, but that it DOES get better! I think he even believed me!
I was able to get him cleaned up and in his PJ's, start another load of laundry and get him tucked into bed, only to hear him ask me for snuggle time. If I were distracted by missing work, or worried about missing work in the coming days because of getting sick myself, I would have missed a very precious time of comforting my sick and upset child.
I was able to witness the caring and concern my older children showed for their sick brother when they arrived home from school, and if I were working I would have missed this major opportunity to applaud them for their character!
I was able to stay calm and care for my family, because I know that whatever "normal" daily chores I'm falling behind in while caring for my sick child, will still be there waiting for me tomorrow. But tomorrow my child might not be needing care, comfort, or asking his mommy for snuggle time!
Thank you for all you do to encourage me!
L.
Staff
2010-11-17T22:24:40Z
My Marriage in Two Phases
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Marriage-in-Two-Phases/7814.html
2010-11-16T08:14:19Z
2010-11-16T08:14:19Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
I have to say you have been a blessing to my life and especially with my marriage. I would describe my marriage in two phases: Pre-Book and Post Book. The book in question is your "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands." When my wife advised this was the only thing she wanted for Christmas, I got it for her that day (December 7) early. She told me later that when she started reading it she thought, "It can't be this easy!" Oh, but it was!
The day after receiving it she tested your theory by welcoming me home with a big wet kiss, passionate hug and wrapping one of her legs around my ankle. We kissed for about 5 minutes, walked to the bedroom and locked the door (for the sake of the kidlets). She was shocked. I was too! She, before that, would never get up or stop what she was doing to welcome me home at the end of the day. I went out shortly thereafter and got myself your book, "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Marriage" as I believed I should do my part as well!
Dr. Laura, I have prayed to God to give thanks that you are doing what you do and to continue to inspire you down that path. Because of YOU my average/mediocre marriage is now vibrant, passionate and an excellent example to my two daughters and my son as to what they should expect in marriage.
~S
Staff
2010-11-16T08:14:19Z
Jury Duty
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Jury-Duty/7815.html
2010-11-15T06:18:34Z
2010-11-15T06:18:34Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Hi Dr. Laura:
Big Fan have listened to you since 1996. I am at stay at home working part time mom.
I got a summons for jury duty; it came on our family vacation so I asked for a deferment. It was granted.
My husband and I have been working part time since he lost his job of 10 years 18 months ago. He finally got a full time position in September of this year. I got called to jury duty again. The judge told me it was not an excuse to be a stay at home mom with small children at home and I needed to put my children in day care. I told him I never have or will put them in day care. So for the next jury term my husband has to take off work.
Thanks for all you do for stay at moms,
Melissa
Staff
2010-11-15T06:18:34Z
I Am Drained, But...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Am-Drained,-But.../7816.html
2010-11-11T06:51:10Z
2010-11-11T06:51:10Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
Today's e-mail of the day (
Found Dog Reminds Me of Missed Years
) made an impact on me! Unfortunately I was driving on a very busy highway and trying not to cry as you were reading. I did make it safely to my destination.
I am a full-time wife and mother. My husband makes only 31K/year working hard as an assistant manager in a retail chain. When he asked me to marry him I said yes, but only if he promised I could stay home with our children.
Here I am, 8 years later, a mother to a super energetic and bright 4-year old girl, and an 11 month old baby boy, my sweet little man.
I am drained! Where is the young pretty thing filled to the brim with energy that my husband married? I hear daily from my husband that I'm beautiful and sexy, but I just don't see it.
I make my husband great food and give him GREAT sex (read your book). I do the grocery shopping, keep the house very clean, and tend to my children's' needs. Sometimes I get away and take yoga and enjoy every single minute of that quiet time. I'll never take those things for granted again.
When I heard the email you read about the mother watching a nanny accept love from a child, I realized that although I am exhausted, frazzled, tired, and sometimes fantasize about driving off into the sunset with a handsome stranger on a motorcycle or with Edward the vampire, I will NEVER wonder if I missed a hug, an "aha" moment, or a sweet kiss from my children.
In fact, while I'm at it day and in day out, I may as well add another baby to this family so I can get even more kisses and hugs.
Thanks for you ongoing support,
K.
Staff
2010-11-11T06:51:10Z
Found Dog Reminds Me of Missed Years
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Found-Dog-Reminds-Me-of-Missed-Years/7817.html
2010-11-10T05:33:28Z
2010-11-10T05:33:28Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Good morning Dr. Laura,
This morning as I was returning from walking my dog at the dog park, I noticed a beautiful black Labrador in the parking lot of the Clubhouse in my community. I stopped to see if there was anybody with the dog. Nobody was around. I pulled in, got out of the car, and the dog ran to me and practically jumped into my arms. I let my own dog out of the car, and the two played. We waited a while in the hopes somebody would come looking for a dog. No one came. I invited the dog into my car, she jumped in, happy as could be.
I drove around looking for anybody who might recognize the dog. How could I do this mid-morning in the middle of the week? My boys, now 24 and 27, are off and on their own, and I am running my own business from my home. How I wish I would have thought of this sooner.
When my boys were only two and five, I divorced. My husband and I had lost everything prior to the divorce- so we literally had nothing. I found a job that kept me away from home from 7 AM until about 8 PM. I did earn enough to hire an au pair to live at my house. I missed my boys, but knew I was doing the right thing because we needed a place to live and food to eat. And, of course, I needed "a life".
About an hour ago, after bringing the dog to my home, putting a collar on her, and finding a second leash, she, my dog, and I went walking through the neighborhoods looking for her home. Strolling down the block was a woman with a stroller- and the cutest little girl in it. She was pointing at the dogs so I went over so she could pet them. The little girl squealed, and when the dogs licked her hands she raised them above her head so excited to show us that the dogs licked HER hands- she was just thrilled! She hugged the woman so tightly and sweetly-giggling ad laughing- and I said to the woman, your daughter is just the cutest little thing! She said, oh, she's not my daughter- I take care of her while her parents work.
And it hit me. What had I done? How many of those moments did I miss? How many times did my au pair get that enthusiastic hug, see that beaming smile, see that excitement in my child's eyes- and I wasn't there. It wasn't the first time I wished I could turn back the clock- in fact every time I see a small child do something adorable- I think about all those moments I missed while working.
If I could do it over again, it would be very different. And I do know my children would have been so much better off. Thank G-d my boys and I have a wonderful relationship, but I often see the scars of those years I wasn't home.
Oh, the dog? She is chewing a bone next to my feet now, waiting for her family to come home. I did locate the owners and they can't wait to come pick her up. She'll see this as an adventurous day. I'll remember it as another day that I had sad memories of not being there with my kids at some very special times.
Thank you for spreading the word that Mom's should do whatever they can to stay home with the little people who need them the most.
Shari
Staff
2010-11-10T05:33:28Z
Flirting With Your Spouse
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Flirting-With-Your-Spouse/7818.html
2010-11-09T05:44:03Z
2010-11-09T05:44:03Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
I was listening to your show when a caller was expressing concern about flirtatious and suggestive texts her husband was sharing with his female cousin.
You asked her how long has she been aware her marriage was in trouble and she went off on a tangent but you quickly brought her back on track to where she answered the question, "today". You knew that wasn't the correct answer and she eventually 'fessed up to not giving him the attention he was needing. So, therefore he was seeking his affirmation elsewhere.
She had asked her husband to send her texts like that, and he didn't even respond. She was hurt and offended. You suggested she trump the cousin and begin to flirt with him to bring him home to her. She said she would do so and that was that.
I particularly enjoyed the end of call when Benjamin played the song, "I am waiting for you to come home and turn me on". You posed a question with several answers of what men would do if they had that on their voice mail. Then the sound of screeching tires played.
I have been flirting heavily with my husband of 20 years via the phone, text, and emails for the past 6 months or so. He wasn't too savvy with these things ever, but he is learning quickly. Earlier in the year, we were having a bit of rocky time, not because we didn't love each other, but because we were both letting other priorities come before our marriage and distance came between us. We recognized it and are coming back to one another and it is wonderful.
Just the day before your caller called, my hubby was going to be working late so we spent time together after we took the kids to school. We enjoyed a beautiful ride together on his motorcycle in the morning and had coffee. I had deliberately chose to leave my motorcycle at home so I could cuddle up to him on his bike. It was a gorgeous day on the Central Coast of CA. It was a truly great morning.
Later I devised a plan to really rev his motor. Once I had everything taken care of with the kids, and they were in bed. I dolled myself up and went and took some sexy pictures of me on his sleek motorcycle in some red barely nothings. His desire is to "make it" on his motorcycle some day. I sent these to him via phone one by one with increasing degrees of enticement as it was getting close to him coming home. He called on the first, "Thanks! Nice Pic! Are you on my bike?" As the pictures went on, he called back, "If you keep sending pictures like those, I am going to get a speeding ticket on the way home!" This of course, was my full intention... not speeding tickets, but to entice him and have fun with him even while he is working. It was great fun doing that! He LOVED it!!
Life is great with him and he has always been my man even in times when things were a bit strained. We are rediscovering one another and it is great fun and fulfilling. I LOVE being his wife, lover, companion, and best friend.
Sincerely,
M.
Staff
2010-11-09T05:44:03Z
My Children's Amazing Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Childrens-Amazing-Dad/7819.html
2010-11-06T03:19:02Z
2010-11-06T03:19:02Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura
Sometimes when I come home from work there are dishes in the sink, toys on the floor and abandoned pillow forts in the living room. I usually walk into the dining room to my daughter's paintings drying on the counter and evidence of my son's Tupperware rampage throughout the kitchen. If I start to feel frustrated all I have to do is listen for the giggles and squeals of delight that fill the house. These wonderful sounds bring me to my senses and remind me that my children are home with their loving daddy rather than warehoused in a child care center. They're home with their daddy who fixes nutritious meals and snacks, who paints, colors with crayons, makes play dough animals and reads the book of the week over and over again. Their daddy, who builds pillow forts, kisses boo-boos, cleans up accidents and answers endless questions about the stars, dinosaur bones and a princess's wardrobe.
Dr. Laura I'm not coming home to dirty dishes and messy bedrooms, I'm coming home to happy, content children who did not take their first steps in a day care, who didn't get plopped down in front of the television all day, and who didn't have to compete for the attention of a paid day care provider who would not care any more for my kids than for the dozen or so other kids there. I see my husband's sweet disposition, patience, intelligence and sense of humor through the words and actions of my children everyday. A few dirty dishes in the sink and Cheerios on the floor are a very small price to pay for the knowledge that our babies are loved and cherished by their father each and everyday.
I thank God for the amazing man I married, the man who puts his children first in his life and who effortlessly brushes off ignorant comments from people who no doubt feel guilt for warehousing their own children. My husband doesn't always do the dishes but he changes the oil in the car, fixes leaky faucets, catches spiders, and most importantly, raises our children with love, patience, good values and a sense of humor. I wouldn't change a single thing about him.
D.
Staff
2010-11-06T03:19:02Z
You Never Know Who is Listening
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Never-Know-Who-is-Listening/7820.html
2010-11-06T01:05:57Z
2010-11-06T01:05:57Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dr Laura,
I have enjoyed your show for more than a decade and always have it on in the car, when traveling with my girls.
As my older daughter grew (teenage years she began to grouse at some of your conservative advice), which I dismissed as growing pains. However at 21, she recently meet a nice young man with many positive attributes. She explained to him she was not interested in getting serious because as a 26 yr old man he has a 10 year old boy (which she declined to meet because she didn't want to interject CHAOS - I wonder where she heard that term before - into his life), and this young man needed to put raising his son before dating!!!
I was so proud of her responsible attitude and I wanted to thank you for being a constant reminder of sound morals and children first in this world which presents far too many moral-less opportunities!
Thanks for everything
A loyal fan
Staff
2010-11-06T01:05:57Z
Today's Loose Women
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Todays-Loose-Women/7821.html
2010-11-04T09:14:38Z
2010-11-04T09:14:38Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
While I was listening to your program recently, you read a letter from an older man who mentioned today's women are so loose. Yes this is true. Sad but true. I am e-mailing you to let you know there are still some women who do have morals and standards.
I am 22 years old. I have been married to my boyfriend/husband for 3 years now and have a beautiful baby girl. (No Shacking up!!!)
When I was younger and just starting to date (at age 16) the rule given by my dad was any young man who asked me out had to be interviewed by him (my father) before I was allowed to leave the house.
I was afraid of this rule and was embarrassed for the first few times I was asked out. I soon realized when I was asked out by a stranger who I could tell only wanted sex, not friendship or courtship , and really would not want to come meet my dad. I told him that he would have to come over first and have a chat with my dad before I could go. He said never mind and went on his way.
When my now husband asked me out I told him the same thing and surprisingly he was really excited.
This rule not only made it so I would only be going out with upstanding young men, but made me an honest daughter and morally clean wife.
Thank you Dr. Laura for having your program and standing up for morals.
Sincerely,
Margo
Staff
2010-11-04T09:14:38Z
Dr. Laura's "Magic Wand"
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dr.-Lauras-Magic-Wand/7822.html
2010-11-02T06:49:28Z
2010-11-02T06:49:28Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura-
As a "family member" and longtime listener, I was touched by the call from a woman afraid to inform her brother of his positive test results for a devastating disease (Huntington's). In your compassionate, firm way, you rightly said her brother must be informed despite the caller's fears of his committing suicide, adding you regret you have no magic wand.
But you do, in a way! Your listeners' "ranks" include many people who add your callers to their prayers. So many times we hear of specialists, surgeries or treatments becoming suddenly available, or sudden remissions with no scientific explanation. Other times, families are able to bear the loss of someone in death by gathering closer together courageously either way, your caller and her brother are now in the thoughts and prayers of thousands via your broadcast.
My husband and I each were "supposed" to die at birth he was born with spina bifida in 1948, but despite the danger of a then innovative surgery and a year in the hospital, he suffered no brain damage and can walk. In my case, I was born a week+ shy of 3 months premature, weighing under two pounds. Despite the (1954!) odds, I, too, survived.
Growing up with this knowledge, we are aware of the gift of each day, and pray the caller's brother will respond with strength. Perhaps medical advances will be available to treat him by the time he manifests illness. In any case, he and his sister have people who care through your program.
Keep up your wise and necessary work, Dr. Laura- we thank you!
Yours respectfully-
Robyn
Staff
2010-11-02T06:49:28Z
Method to Work Through Communication Problems
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Method-to-Work-Through-Communication-Problems/7823.html
2010-10-29T22:53:53Z
2010-10-29T22:53:53Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Hello Dr. Laura,
Today you took a call from a woman whose husband said it was easier to talk to his girlfriend by email than it was to talk to her. You recommended that the wife email him as a method to address their communication problems. You said that it would spark conversations because he could remain detached and yet be able to open up to her through the computer.
Although my husband and I have no communication problems, we recently moved into a large home and his office is downstairs while the kitchen is upstairs. I began calling him on our phone when dinner was almost ready and we loved it! It was almost like we were dating again and we did not want to hang up in fact, most times we talk until he appears in the kitchen to give a hug and a kiss and sometimes more!
Your advice was to use text or email, but whichever electronic method couples use, I hope it will work as well as the phone works for us. I look forward to listening for years to come!
Diane
Staff
2010-10-29T22:53:53Z
My Knight Who Rides on Cow Poop Covered Hills
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Knight-Who-Rides-on-Cow-Poop-Covered-Hills/7824.html
2010-10-28T04:19:49Z
2010-10-28T04:19:49Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dr Laura,
My husband is a rancher. He works harder than anyone I have ever known, even on days when his knee or back is hurting, or previous injuries (kicks to the leg) from cranky cows are aching. There are times he has to ride up into the hills to check on cows, and he almost always brings me wildflowers. He comes home, pulls the tad-bit scrunched but beautiful flowers out of his pocket, and gives me a kiss as he hands them to me. I think about your saying about a man being willing to "swim through shark-infested waters to bring you lemonade." My man is willing to walk across cow-poop covered hills to bring me flowers! Those flowers are more beautiful to me than any bouquet he could ever buy me! I know when he brings them to me that as he is riding his horse on those hills, and when he sees pretty wildflowers, he's thinking of me. I can't tell you how much it means to me that he does that. He is definitely my Knight in Shining Armor. Even when his "armor" is mud- and "crud"-caked, he still shines to me!
A very lucky ranch wife-
H.
Staff
2010-10-28T04:19:49Z
Behaving like a Foolish Wife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Behaving-like-a-Foolish-Wife/7825.html
2010-10-27T07:15:11Z
2010-10-27T07:15:11Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dr. Laura you were right.
I have listened to you for several years, and heard you say multiple times that to approach a man in a sweet, feminine way was the most attractive, effective way. I thought I knew it all before I got married, and that I would be the best, wisest, most Dr.-Laura-educated wife. However, just months after my marriage, I made mistakes that would make you want to rip my hair out - I was whining and complaining, and nagging to my husband to get my way.
After trying to get my husband to go to a family gathering for weeks in my foolish, nagging way, I was not getting my way, and both my husband and I were stressed from it. Then, one day, when my husband came home from work tired and stressed out, my Dr. Laura lamp turned on and instead of being naggy and complainy, I greeted him with a hugs and kisses, thanked him sincerely for all his hard work, had him recline on the couch where I gave him a massage to give him the massage he deserved. As he sat there relaxed under my feminine charm, he kept repeating over and over again what a blessed man he is, and without me even mentioning ANYTHING about the family get together, he announced he knew how important it is for me, and would go for me. I was shocked at the change of events, just because I chose to be a loving, charming, feminine GIRLFRIEND to my husband. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face after experiencing firsthand how easy it was to make my husband the happiest guy on the planet, and the positive way it impacted everyone.
Thank you so much for being the voice in my head to scold me when I'm behaving like a foolish wife, and for the joy your advice brings to my knight in a shining business suit.
Sincerely,
My husband's girlfriend,
L.
Staff
2010-10-27T07:15:11Z
Benefits Not Discussed Much
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Benefits-Not-Discussed-Much/7826.html
2010-10-26T05:53:43Z
2010-10-26T05:53:43Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dr Laura, the kids from SAHM homes, benefit in ways not discussed very much. Living on one income means sacrifices for everyone. We lived in a modest home and only had one car.
As for allowances, my kids had more than I had. I had no allowance being the last of eight kids. But I gave my three kids spending money so they would have some independent money of their own.
When they became teenagers, they had to work if they wanted more than my allowance provided. Sometimes they would save up but that took forever since the allowance was small. My oldest son, and middle child, was the acquisitive one of the family. He wanted what his friends had. But we did not buy cars for our kids. My son worked hard for his first car while in high school and he had to pay for his own insurance.
All three of my kids today, aged 45, 43, and 39, are self sufficient and understand the value of money. They quickly found other jobs when laid off. They were also blessed that their mother and I stayed together in love, about to celebrate 47 years of marriage. It runs in my family.
Stanley
Staff
2010-10-26T05:53:43Z
She Was Lost
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/She-Was-Lost/7827.html
2010-10-26T05:47:13Z
2010-10-26T05:47:13Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
Today you said something that changed me and I want to thank you.
I am 32 and recently married. My wife is 23 and the love of my life! No kids yet. We have both had sordid pasts. And neither of us were virgins. That being said my wife has always been able to accept this easier than I have. I know that it's hypocritical of me to hold this against her and I do what I can to not do that. It's been very hard though. However today you said something that changed me. You asked a caller, so in your world people can't change? You told him, your wife was lost before you. She now knows who she wants to be. That was so refreshing to hear. My wife is completely different from the girl I met she just needed someone to love her.
B.
Staff
2010-10-26T05:47:13Z
Melting His Stress
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Melting-His-Stress/7828.html
2010-10-22T03:12:26Z
2010-10-22T03:12:26Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dr. Laura-
My husband called me yesterday stressed out about up coming bills. My first thought was, well what have YOU been spending all the money on? Then I had a Dr. Laura moment and just told him we could talk about it when he got home.
When he arrived home I greeted him at the door with an ice cold beer and a hug. I told him how proud I was of how he provided for me and our child and then I gave him a plan of all the ways we could cut costs. I told him I would do my part by cooking budget friendly meals and not buying anything outside of what we NEED. Then I packed him his lunch for the next day (as I usually do) and put a note in it to tell him again how proud I was of how he provided for his family.
I saw all his stress disappear and that gave me great pleasure. I could have easily made his stress worse, but I choose not to. Thank you for always being that little voice inside my head. It usually keeps me out of trouble.
B.
Staff
2010-10-22T03:12:26Z
Here's to a Brainless Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Heres-to-a-Brainless-Mom/7829.html
2010-10-21T05:37:42Z
2010-10-21T05:37:42Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>I'm a first time mom. Before becoming a mom I went to school for 8 years and have a master's degree. I worked for 8 years in my profession before having my baby. My husband and I have been very smart with our money and the only debt we have is our mortgage.
We decided when our daughter was born I would stay at home with her. I can't say I don't miss work, because I do at times, but I would never trade the days I have with my daughter for a job.
My sister-in-law has two daughters 3 and under. She shuttles them off to a home day care every day. She told my husband she didn't want to be a stay at home mom because she wants to use her brain every day.
So here's to being a brainless mom that is lucky enough to have her baby wake up to her mommy every morning, after each nap, and before she goes to bed. Here's to a brainless mom that enjoys watching her baby smear herself with a new food each day. Here's to a brainless mom who reads several books to her baby each day (which studies show improves vocabulary, reading, and listening comprehension). Here's to a brainless mom that gets to see every "first" my daughter will experience.
I love every one of these moments. Hey...being brainless ain't so bad after all!
Kim
Staff
2010-10-21T05:37:42Z
I'm One Lucky Girl
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-One-Lucky-Girl/7830.html
2010-10-20T04:28:37Z
2010-10-20T04:28:37Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dr. Laura,
I listen to your show frequently. I have been a listener since I was 12 years old and now I'm almost 23 and my husband and I are our expecting our first child. I was raised with a stay at home mom, my husband was as well. We were both extremely lucky. If we ever needed Mom we new right were she would be. If we were sick, she was there to take care of us, not running off to work having to take care of us over the phone.
When my husband and I were dating and thinking about marriage, we had lengthy discussions about how we would want our family structured. I am a nurse and make a very good income, however, we agreed that once we wanted children we both would want me to quit my job and stay at home with our children. Here we are a year and a half later expecting our first child. As the time was drawing closer I voiced concern to my husband about my fears of quitting my job. "But I love my job." "But it's so nice having my income." "But I don't want to lose my skills!" whine, whine, whine, complain, complain, complain… Finally, my wonderful husband grabbed me by the shoulders and said, "Kathryn, we've already decided! What do you REALLY want more than anything?" I said, "To be a loving wife to you and a great mom to my children." Then he responded "Then that is it! I will take care of you. You're not working as a nurse. But you are fulfilling your dreams and doing what we both have wanted our entire lives."
Dr. Laura, I melted. I couldn't believe I was lucky enough to marry such a REAL MAN! Yes, things will be difficult, but I know we'll be fine. We love each other and have always put each other's needs first. I'm 33 weeks, and we can't wait to bring our little boy into this world. He's a lucky kid. He's coming into a loving, happy home where Dad goes out to provide and Mom is there to nurture. Thanks for all you do in praise of stay at home moms.
Kathryn
Staff
2010-10-20T04:28:37Z
Influencing Others
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Influencing-Others/7831.html
2010-10-19T03:01:23Z
2010-10-19T03:01:23Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dearest Dr. Laura,
Today when you came on the radio, my 2 ½ year old yelled, "Mommy, it's Dr. Laura!" As I stared at him in disbelief (that he knew that from your voice), I also began to reflect on what you've done for me and my family and became so sad you are going off the air.
(Aside: Dr. Laura is just going off broadcast radio, she'll continue to nag you in other ways.)
You have become so much a part of my life, and we have never met! I just really, really hope you know how much good you have done for so many of us out there in radio land who may not get a chance to tell you.
First and most important, you are the reason I am home with my kids. If I had never stumbled upon your program and read your books, I can almost guarantee I would be working full time with my kids in daycare believing that that is what's best for all of us! You are the reason that I teared up today when I told my food-covered 8 month old who takes forever to eat that I love him because I felt so lucky to be the one doing it! You are the reason my friends and family always call me for advice (it's not my advice they're seeking, it's yours!) Some even say, "What would Dr. Laura say if...." You are the reason that as I lay down for my 3 hours of sleep because my 8 month old hasn't slept in, well, 8 months, and my husband looks over at me with a seductive glance, I don't tell him no. (And yes, I end up enjoying it!) You are the reason I randomly text my husband at work and tell him how much I appreciate him or love him (usually because I'm listening to someone tell you how much they've been abusing their husband). You are the reason I don't bash my husband when I'm around a bunch of women who are. You are the reason I don't get upset when people tell me how sorry they feel for me because I'm home with my children and never get any time for "myself." I feel sorry for them that they are missing out on the best treat I'll ever be able to give myself. You are the reason I am my kid's mom and husband's girlfriend!
I know I am a better person because of you, and every time I'm about to make a bad decision, I usually listen to you and change my actions. I really hope you continue to stay a part of my life in some way. You will be missed and needed so please find a way to continue to nag us!
Sincerely and Appreciatively,
A.
One side note: Some local talk show hosts were talking this morning about whether or not you need sex in a marriage. I texted them a few of your key beliefs. Not only did they read them on the air, but from then on almost every caller and texter would begin what they said with," I'm a huge Dr. Laura fan too, and....." It was amazing!! You have touched so many lives for so long, I just really hope you know that!
Staff
2010-10-19T03:01:23Z
My Toilet Paper Epiphany
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Toilet-Paper-Epiphany/7832.html
2010-10-16T03:18:54Z
2010-10-16T03:18:54Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
I have listened to you for many years and have never called or emailed you before. But after hearing today's "toilet paper" call, I knew that I had to write you. Tomorrow is my 22nd anniversary. For the first 15 years of my marriage, I got bugged about all the "little things" my husband did wrong. One of them was the toilet paper. Often, when I would go to the bathroom, the roll would be empty and he hadn't changed it. I would complain to him (oh, yes, and by the way, make sure that it goes OVER the roll!) to no avail. Then one day, sitting at the toilet, looking again at the empty roll, I had an epiphany! How many things do I do wrong he never tells me about? I realized I probably do a whole lot of things "wrong" and he keeps his criticisms to himself! From that point on, every time I came to any empty roll, I would happily change it knowing he was putting up with something I did wrong!
My marriage is 'easy' because both of us try hard to make the other person happy. I make sure if he works late, his dinner is hot and waiting for him, I bring him a cold drink when he's working in the yard and I love making him "boy food" to eat during football games. He in turn, brings me my morning tea and newspaper in bed, makes breakfast every morning and always remembers to put the toilet seat down. I think the secret to a good marriage is the "small stuff". Don't sweat the small stuff but don't forget how important the small stuff is: a hot dinner and a cup of tea in bed. I probably don't tell my husband I love him enough in words, but I hope I SHOW him every day how much I love him by my actions.
Thank You,
C.
Staff
2010-10-16T03:18:54Z
My Friend Dennis
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Friend-Dennis/7833.html
2010-10-15T05:16:27Z
2010-10-15T05:16:27Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
I would like to tell you about my friend Dennis. He, myself and another friend, Tim, were camped out in the mountains hunting deer. Tim's 9 year old daughter, Katie, wanted to spend her birthday with us so her grandfather brought her up. When Katie poked her head inside the trailer where we were eating, Dennis' face lit up and almost sing-songy he said, "Katie! We've been waiting for you! Come here, let me give the birthday girl a hug!" I could see by the look on his face that Dennis was genuinely happy to see Katie. He made that little girl's day and she was happy too.
Watching their interaction made me feel sad I didn't have the same level of joy Dennis had when he saw Katie and I had to ask myself, "Why?"
All my adult life I have viewed most children as a nuisance and as pests and looking back I can see that's how I was treated by my parents. My mother frequently raged and my dad was passive. I remember my mother calling us (my brothers and I) "little hellians", and screaming "I hate you!" at us. Beatings happened all too often. My dad pretty much ignored what was going on.
Watching Dennis, a macho type guy, gush over Katie with his deep, soft-hearted affection made me uncomfortable and jealous at the same time. But it also changed me too.
Because of my friend Dennis, I have seen where I was wrong. Because of my friend Dennis, I will forever treat children with unabashed kindness. Because my friend Dennis I will be nicer to people.
Thank you Dennis. You are a good man.
J.
Staff
2010-10-15T05:16:27Z
Today is My Birthday!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Today-is-My-Birthday!/7834.html
2010-10-14T05:40:44Z
2010-10-14T05:40:44Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
I enjoy listening to your show and even though I don't always agree with your not-so-humbled opinion, I appreciate the critical thinking I do when faced with your callers' dilemmas.
I have a few girlfriends who are thirty-something and they dread their birthdays because they feel their best days are behind them (even the ones married with children). I think this is so sad because at this point, a thirty-something woman should just have begun her journey as a successful, mature woman with her best days ahead.
Today is my birthday (yea! Go me!) I am 31 today and very happy about it. My goals for this age: be married to the right man and have a healthy baby. I'm glad to say that with hard work and endless dedication, I have accomplished these goals. I never settled for anything less than what I wanted and felt I deserved and I was lucky enough to find and marry a REAL MAN. My darling beloved husband is a RET. 1st SGT. USMC (OOOHH RAH!) and he is now a federal police officer. He has spent his entire adult life serving others and I have always admired that. He never settled and waited a long time to find the right woman to have his "perfect" (our idea of perfect) life with. We have been married for three years and together for five. We were blessed with our beautiful son on July 1st. He is strong, healthy, and literally the answer to our prayers over the last and difficult at times, year. He brings immeasurable joy to our whole family. Last year, I found I was pregnant around my birthday and didn't think anything could top that.
This morning, as I was nursing and rocking my son, my husband hugged and kissed us both, wished me a happy birthday, told me he loved me and left for work with a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye, as he does each morning. He works very hard so I can stay home and be the full time mother my son needs me to be. I love and appreciate my husband for wanting happiness, a well rounded, grounded family and not insignificant material things. We don't have new cars or a big house but we have our health, life satisfaction, love and our children will be able to go to college. Most important to us is our family, quality of life, our love for each other, and our faith in G-d.
This morning, I was filled with joy and contentment, loving all that I have and happy to be where I am. I wanted to share this joy because my baby is asleep and the mood took me. Today is a celebration of all that I've been through and all the memories and adventures still to come. If only my thirty-something friends could open their eyes, never settle, wait for the right person not the next , "he'll do" person and be grateful for all they have, then maybe their next few birthdays will be wonderful in anticipation of the future and not dreading it instead. Here is to the blessing of today, and the hope for tomorrow, and appreciating that tomorrow is not a guarantee. Oh, he's awake, gotta go!
Sincerely,
A deeply satisfied, loved wife, mother and REAL woman
Staff
2010-10-14T05:40:44Z
Giving Kids the Confidence to Collect People
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Giving-Kids-the-Confidence-to-Collect-People/7835.html
2010-10-13T04:20:46Z
2010-10-13T04:20:46Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
I listen to your program everyday and have never felt the need to do anything but say. "Go Dr. Laura!" But this call shocked me. A woman called in about a little girl who was socially awkward and she didn't have her little girl go the birthday party because she had two piano lessons, which seems like a pretty bad excuse.
I have a son who collected people as he grew up, he is now 23 years old and is a traveling musician, out on the road pursuing his passion. He found his self-confidence by helping others at a young age. His first encounter was a boy in the neighborhood who did not have any friends until my son moved into the neighborhood and befriended him. Later in high school, a very nice young guy who was a little overweight, not at all popular, and had the cutest red curly hair wanted to run for student body officer, my son rallied the troops and got him elected. One final example and my favorite, is Jack. Jack wore studs in his mouth had a mohawk and wore leather studded cuffs on his wrists. If you ever got Jack to smile, he was the cutest young man on earth and always addressed me as Ma'am. His parents always knew where he was, he had a curfew, he was just allowed to express himself as long as the rules were followed. He was a solid A student.
Now my son travels 9 months out of the year with his band and has collected people from California to New York and everywhere in between. This lady did a great injustice to her daughter by not letting her gain her own confidence. She will never step outside of the box and be a leader, she will never take a stand and defend someone who is defenseless. I hope I am wrong, but I have witnessed these characteristics are formed at a young age. How great it would be if we gave our kids the confidence to collect people, despite their uniqueness.
Thank you for all you do,
Staff
2010-10-13T04:20:46Z
What is More Important: House or BABIES!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-is-More-Important:-House-or-BABIES!/7836.html
2010-10-09T05:05:18Z
2010-10-09T05:05:18Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
I am an avid listener of yours. I have been listening for about 8 years now. I am 21 years old and in my senior year in college. Since I graduated from high school I have always known I wanted to be my kid's mom and my husband's girlfriend one day.
The other day, Facebook led to a very interesting situation for me. My friend and ex-dance teacher from high school had written a "status update" explaining how hard it was to leave her babies on Monday morning to go back to work and asked if having a house was really worth missing her two little boys. Someone had commented that yes, it was important to show your boys to get and keep a job no matter what life situations come up and to make that a priority in life. Oh, Dr. Laura, I almost threw a hissy fit at this person. Instead, I commented below "I don't know. Maybe you would appreciate this time with your babies while they are young and not in school. That is kisses, hugs and time you can never get back with them." She was hostile, inappropriate and took it as an utter insult that I dare say such a thing to her. I apologized, via private message, explaining I wasn't trying to be rude, just give an honest opinion of how I felt on the situation. Her responses shocked me to my very core and made my heart hurt for her babies, her husband and her. First she said I had no idea how hard it is to have kids, and she hopes I understand one day the PAIN of it. She also said that she is PROUD of owning a house in today's economy and that was at the top of her importance list AND no matter how much constant day care I took part in (I was a full time nanny for the first two years of an infant's life who started to call me mom when she learned to speak) I would NEVER understand the stress of being a mom until I had kids of my own.
I am not claiming to KNOW what it is like to be a mom, but I know what I will be doing when I have kids. I know if this dance teacher was not working (extra jobs as well she doesn't have to work because she wants to) and spent her time at home with her two babies she wouldn't be that unhappy. I know if she got to cuddle, play and run around with her kids all day in a cheaper home, or apartment, she would be having the time of her life and wouldn't be sadly putting everything before her family.
I have been there for the first two years of a child's life. I dealt with her colic, I bathed her, fed her, cuddled with her, taught her words, taught her sounds, went to the park with her, kissed her boo-boos and rubbed her sick tummy. I was the first person she saw when she woke up in the morning, and the last person she saw when she went to bed. I was there, and I know that every tear, every frustrated moment, every exhausted feeling, and every stinky diaper was worth the giggle I would get from that little girl...and she wasn't even my child.
Thank you so much for your constant praise of stay at home moms. I can't wait to be one myself, (okay so maybe I can for a few more years..I am still only 21) and I can't wait to be able to wipe up every dirty diaper, because that will mean, I'm doing what is most honoring to my future children and husband.
K.
Staff
2010-10-09T05:05:18Z
Be a Dream Maker, Not a Dream Breaker
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Be-a-Dream-Maker,-Not-a-Dream-Breaker/7837.html
2010-10-07T04:37:04Z
2010-10-07T04:37:04Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura
I want to bring to your attention a terrible event that happened in the Cincinnati area a few weeks ago and is still in the courts. In Finneytown, a church day care employed two individuals who were convicted of drugging kids so they would sleep and lessen their responsibilities, one child as young as 3 months.
I am a bi-vocational pastor, who grew up in a single parent home and my life was Hell on earth for many years as I did not get the things I needed most as a child: loving parents and a strong father figure.
We destroy children when we abandon them as parents through poor choices, divorce and day care. A parent who thinks their children don't pick up the abandonment is foolish, kids pick it up immediately and turn it into I'm no good, I am not loved therefore I must be bad. This controls the rest of their lives unless they are able to address and overcome it later. We think young people process as we do but they don't have that ability. We are born with the need to be loved and as kids feel abandonment it turns to shame, "If I were good enough I would be loved."
The correct name for day care is JAIL for kids. Locking them up so we can pursue our desires doesn't by any stretch fit the definition of love. Through my employment I see the inner workings of day cares. It's not love, it is money that drives them, regardless of the venue or economic situation. No matter what the facility looks like or how nice the operators, it can never replace the love of a parent which a child desperately needs. Churches with day care operations are no different it's about the money not the kids.
Another sad side of the story besides is the lack of outrage from parents, community or church. It's all about me and my needs, kids are an afterthought.
Divorce though painful for adults is 100 times greater for a child, they don't get over it and move on as we secretly hope. We make poor choices because of broken things within us that we need to fix, or by not knowing enough about our potential mate. When we divorce our need for connection is so strong we find someone to love us too quickly, that in itself indicates something is broken that needs to be fixed.
This is a plea to fix what is broken. Life happens, sometimes to us and sometimes because of us. BUT we don't have to continue in that pattern. We can change. Often what seems good isn't always best; we get distracted by the good and never get to the best. We have the ability to touch the heart of a child to implant positive things that will affect lives now and for years to come, not just one life but the lives of all who they touch.
One of my mentors taught me something that I strive to live by: With every life I touch I have the ability to be a dream maker or a dream breaker.
Be a dream maker.
Dr. Laura, you are a dream maker.
Growing Free To Be Me, J. (a biker also)
Staff
2010-10-07T04:37:04Z
I Let Go of the Disney Romances
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Let-Go-of-the-Disney-Romances/7838.html
2010-10-02T05:27:58Z
2010-10-02T05:27:58Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
I have been married over two years now and have a six month old daughter. Before I got married, my friend gave me your book "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands". After I read it, I began listening to you everyday. The first year of our marriage was much easier than it could have ever been due to your book and listening to your radio show.
At first it was hard to let go of those so called "Disney Romances" to which I expect my life to be. Your book helped me to realize that in order to be happily married, I had to do my part to make my husband happy and everything else fell into place. Those things are so simple they seem stupid, but they make such a difference to my marriage that I cannot imagine a happy marriage without them.
I thank you for writing it and allowing my husband and me to enjoy a good marriage in every way. Just yesterday, my husband came home for lunch. I had a surprise waiting for him. I tricked him by dressing in my nasty cleaning clothes, so that when I greeted him he had no idea what I had in store for him. I had our baby happily occupied and I lured him to our room where I promptly show him the special lingerie I had hidden under my grungy clothes. It was a very delightful experience. When he left to return to school, he couldn't express enough love to me and kept saying, "I'm married to the best woman on the planet."
I am the best wife on the planet thanks to you, Dr. Laura. I cannot express enough how much you have changed my life and brought so much love and happiness to my life.
Thank you...so very much.
S.
Staff
2010-10-02T05:27:58Z
Stop Pointing your Finger at Him...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stop-Pointing-your-Finger-at-Him.../7839.html
2010-10-01T04:09:10Z
2010-10-01T04:09:10Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
I keep hearing more calls about husbands having affairs on their wives and what they should do about it and I'm getting frustrated that women haven't gotten a clue yet!...So I thought I would share my story with you.
My husband and I married when he was 22 and I was just 20. About 70% of my married family had already been divorced and on a 2nd or 3rd spouse on that day; including my parents, who divorced after 20 years of physical and mental abuse from my mother. My father raised my siblings and me (the oldest) so of course I knew how to take care of a family, right? Well, did my bubble get popped when our first 6 months were Horrible. Wasn't he just supposed to love and put up with me and my demands for how things should be and what he should be doing? We both worked and we grew farther and farther apart and I shut him out of anything sexual. And then some guy started to pay attention to me one day at work and feelings started to be there that shouldn't have been. I had an affair and my husband caught me with a letter the guy had written me one night. All of our emotional crap hit the ceiling that night and at the end of it, he turned to me in tears and said, "This is as much my fault as it is yours." WHAT!!! I thought...I was the one that messed up, I was the one who broke my vows to him, I did it, I hurt him, Me! As young as we were, He stood there knowing I had hurt him and broken our marriage and said it was his fault too.
WE talked with trusted couples in our lives and church. We looked at each other knowing we had this marriage this all wrong and wanted to fix it. WE wanted to make it last. We have now been married for 7 ½ years. We have a 5 year old boy and a 3 year old girl. This year has been rough for us. I have had 2 miscarriages since February and we are just physically and emotionally raw and empty. Things just seem to keep going wrong in our world. Bills are pouring in, and sometimes my husband has to work late. My family asks me "how do you know he is at work and not with someone else?" and I confidently tell them "This momma takes care of her man!" I have learned and take pride in caring for My MAN. He would swim through shark infested waters to get me a glass of lemonade. We aren't perfect all the time, but we are learning and excited to teach our children how to be married with our example. 7 ½ years is just the start for us...years of happiness and pain are ahead I know, but I welcome them standing by my husband and looking to God for the journey of a lifetime!
So I tell those women Stop pointing the finger at him and point it at yourself. What have you done to close him out?! Take pride in caring for your man! Start Now! Keep your family together. Your children will thank you.
Dr Laura, you have helped me more than you will ever know as a mom and a wife! Thank you! Keep on and keep shouting!
Gratefully,
A Dr. Laura adopted Daughter
Staff
2010-10-01T04:09:10Z
Staying in a Relationship When it's NOT "Fun"
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Staying-in-a-Relationship-When-its-NOT-Fun/7840.html
2010-10-01T03:59:33Z
2010-10-01T03:59:33Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dr. Laura,
I was watching/listening to a popular program on t.v. yesterday while cooking dinner for my family. A famous actress was on the program promoting her new book about women and relationships. I have admired this person in the past for advocating for children with special needs. Today, however, she was asked, "When did you know it was time to end the relationship?"
Get this....Her response was "When it wasn't FUN anymore." REALLY?????
I am about to celebrate my 17th wedding anniversary this weekend and I am so proud to be my husband's wife and my children's mother. Is it always fun? No way! It is darn hard work! Every once in a while it is FUN, when your hard work pays off and you get a moment of great satisfaction. Is it rewarding? YES! Is it worthwhile? YES! Would I change one moment of the blood sweat and tears for more fun? NO WAY!
My life is so much better now than it ever was at the beginning of my marriage, before children, when I was in the dark about what I was missing out on. I choose to make my life as joyful as possible and bring joy to those around me. Sometimes that's work and not always FUN, but those are the things are bind us together and make us human beings capable of making a difference in this world.
It is a great disservice to both men and women to tell them that if they are not having "FUN" anymore then that is the sign that the relationship is over. It's down right disheartening that many people will listen to this advice. It is definitely not true!
I would rather have joy, fulfillment, and purpose in my life than FUN any day of the week. Thank you for uplifting our thoughts each day from selfishness and inspiring us to direct our thoughts to happily serving our spouses and children.
J.
Staff
2010-10-01T03:59:33Z
From an 'Infertile Woman' Who Wants to be a Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/From-an-Infertile-Woman-Who-Wants-to-be-a-Mom/7841.html
2010-09-30T03:50:46Z
2010-09-30T03:50:46Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
As I was sitting outside on my patio listening to your program and enjoying my afternoon, a woman called and she said she was an 'infertile woman'...I too have been labeled 'infertile', a term that is demeaning and has taken years for me to come to terms with. I've been through the treatments, some of which included having my husband ejaculate into a jar and me having to go across town with the jar in between my breasts to keep it warm...I can sort of laugh about it now, but there was a time it was so painful all I could do was cry and sometimes even scream at the top of my lungs out of frustration and hopelessness. all around me, my friends were getting pregnant, some out of wedlock, some had loser fathers, and some had previous abortions...It was so hard for me to understand why this scourge was upon me and my husband, who have a great marriage, go to a great church, have a great house to share with a child...The list went on and on. It never ended.
I've been listening to your show for over a year now and heard you ask so many people 'do you want to be a parent or just be pregnant have a baby that looks like you'? I started asking myself that question and came to the conclusion I wanted to be a mom and I slowly started to let my ego go and let the idea of adoption grow. Jeez, I think of how much I love my dog and can't imagine not loving a human being so much more...After all, I didn't give birth to my dog. I heard your caller say she can't afford adoption and the same was true for us...It is very expensive to adopt a child, even from the United States. However, there are other ways to have a child and one of the options for us was going through the County of San Diego where there are countless kids who need rescuing. This was not an easy decision...After all, you could end up with a screwed up kid who was exposed to drugs or alcohol or worse...We have decided to trust what God has for us and will start fostering in the New Year. We are hoping to get a baby, who needs permanent parents, but in the meantime, we just want to love a child and give a baby who has no parents a chance for stability and love until they can be reunited with their parents, if that is what is meant to be. Again, not an easy decision, but we trust our child will find us through the process and we will ultimately be permanent parents.
Dr. Laura, thank you so much for being such an amazing advocate for families, you are truly an inspiration for so many.
Sincerely,
H.
Staff
2010-09-30T03:50:46Z
Testing My Husband and Ruining Our Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Testing-My-Husband-and-Ruining-Our-Marriage/7842.html
2010-09-29T05:32:45Z
2010-09-29T05:32:45Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
We, Lisa & Greg, called you earlier today (9/27/10) and you hung up on us because you called me "whiny". Funny thing, I have never been called whiny my entire life and even my husband was surprised you called me whiny.
I listened to your commentary afterwards and it started to sink in. But it was actually your comment to the lady with the husband who had the emotional affair that it really clicked. You told her that she was kicking him out of their nest.
I realized I was over-reacting to all my husband's faults because I was testing him. I was kicking him out of the nest - not only to see IF he would fly back, but how hard he was willing to try to fly back. I knew I did not have any options but to keep the family together because of the kids but maybe if I could make him leave, it would have never been my responsibility. It would have been all HIS fault and I would have been the victim. I was testing him.
The truth is, he is a good man and he's trying. It's not going to change over night. Just like I can't forgive him over night but I too am trying. This is all going to take time. I am going to stop kicking him out of our nest. I am going to stop testing him and allow him to come back to me.
In the mean time, I have a family to keep together, kids who depend on me. I am my kids' mom and my husband's girlfriend. I will stop whining now.
Thank you for all you do. I have listened to you for almost 15 years and you are the reason I became a stay at home mom.
I was crying when I called you because I knew the call would change my life and it has. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Lisa
Staff
2010-09-29T05:32:45Z
Organ Donation Conditions
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Organ-Donation-Conditions/7843.html
2010-09-28T04:02:33Z
2010-09-28T04:02:33Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dr. Laura,
All I can say is HALLELUJAH! to your article advocating putting conditions under which using ones donated organs would be permitted should we die and (obviously) be unable to speak for ourselves!
I am a critical care nurse... and I have cared for countless patients who have either received a donated organ in the past and now that organ is failing due to them returning to their old lifestyle of drinking, smoking, using drugs, not taking care of their diabetes etc... or patients on a waiting list for an organ because theirs are failing due to the same lifestyle issues.. and I have come to the same conclusion: I would donate but I want to be able to exclude circumstances under which under which my organs would be donated.
To give you an example: I cared for a 30ish year old male who's heart was failing due to a lifetime of methamphetamine use. He was back on a donation list for a heart transplant he had previously been kicked off that list twice for testing positive for the drug. Yes, using drugs even with a failing heart. It was his third and last chance on that list. He was my patient able to speak but on life-support in my unit. He actually divulged to me he could not wait to get his new heart one of the first things on his list to do was to use 'meth' again! I documented this and let his doctors know but because this was just a statement he made, and not a third dirty test, it could have no bearing on his receiving a new heart!
Yes, that is how our system works. Here's the worst part... with that little pink dot on your license, you are locked in; your family has NO SAY on to whom your organs would be donated if you were to pass away. There is something called 'first person consent' which states you are pre-registered as an organ donor and that is it. Your family has NO input. I mean, the procurement organization is compassionate but the decision you made to donate is binding; your family cannot revoke or advocate on your behalf to prevent the organs from going to someone who is a murderer, rapist, molester etc… or to someone who trashed their own health with their reckless lifestyle.
I know this letter might get quite a response from some; the fact is that there are many, many good, deserving people and children born with horrible conditions who legitimately need an organ to have a crack at survival… and to them, they can have every organ in my body. But to the others, I am so disgusted.
I feel ethically trapped. The procurement organization will not give opportunity to the donor to pre-list conditions under which they would not allow their organs to be donated (obviously excluding race, religion, gender etc). So, I either go with that or revoke my decision to donate all together. That just makes me sick. I exercise, take care of myself work hard and lead a good honest life. I would personally turn over in my grave if my organs went to someone who lived to hurt others or trashed their own lives.
Name withheld.
Staff
2010-09-28T04:02:33Z
Laura Does "The Right Thing."
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Laura-Does-The-Right-Thing./7844.html
2010-09-25T05:06:57Z
2010-09-25T05:06:57Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dr. Laura you have been part of the equation in raising our daughter, Laura. She is now 11 and makes us proud every day in her maturity and thoughtfulness.
Laura skates on a synchronized skating team made up of girls aged nine to eleven. At the end of the last practice I asked her why she had been talking to two particular girls off to the side. What she said made me realize she "gets it."
She said, "Mom, they were talking about one of the other girls on the team. I took them aside and said, "I am not going to put up with that. We are a team; do you understand what the definition of a team is? We support, encourage and work together. Talking about others behind their back is unkind and tears down a team not build it up."
Dr. Laura, I don't know when I have ever been so proud of a lovely daughter that stood up for decency. Thank you so much for your strong stance in doing the right thing that has helped us raise our daughter. God Bless you!!
N.
Staff
2010-09-25T05:06:57Z
I Put The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands to the Test
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Put-The-Proper-Care--Feeding-of-Husbands-to-the-Test/7845.html
2010-09-24T03:29:16Z
2010-09-24T03:29:16Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Because of YOU!!!
I just celebrated my 16yr wedding anniversary.
My family is in tact.
I am my husband's girlfriend.
My three daughters are being raised by both their parents who are deeply in love.
In July of 1995, I had found out my husband was having an affair that had been going on for 2 years. He told me he was in love with her and no longer loved me. I was dumbfounded.
Needless to say, I was beside myself with grief, pain, anger, self pity...every raw negative emotion you can think of.
My sister in law gave me your book "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands"......WOW, what an eye opener. I saw myself in so many of those awful women....and it was pretty hard to stomach.
I did not ask him to stay, as a matter of fact I told him he could leave and I would sign anything he wanted stating I wanted no money from him, nor would I keep our daughters from him.....he wouldn't leave.
So, I took everything you said and put it to the test....I loved him, I praised him, I took care of him and I made love to him, and most important, I let him be the Man, my Man...
He responded by stepping up to the plate. He tossed her to the side and he now devotes his every waking moment to me and our girls. I can't keep him away or off of me, not that I mind.
So, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
I honestly believe that I would be divorced right now if not for YOU!!!
C.
Staff
2010-09-24T03:29:16Z
My Promise to My Daughter
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Promise-to-My-Daughter/7846.html
2010-09-23T03:48:36Z
2010-09-23T03:48:36Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dr Laura,
Thank you for your delightful radio show and blog. I believe it's people like yourself who help give a voice to those individuals who seem to be a minority in today's world. I just want to share a few of choices I have made as a father.
I am married with two teenage daughters. I have a full time job but I do the majority of my work at home. I arrange my day so I can take my kids to school in the morning and I am there to pick them up in the afternoons. I was a PTA father, taught chess at their elementary school, helped them with their homework and made a home cooked meal almost every night. I have been offered several promotions in my work with more money but all of the positions would require me to put in more time at work and that would mean I would have less time at home. It's not that I am sheepish about taking on more responsibility at work, but I know someday my daughters will replace me as the only man in their lives with a much younger, better looking one. Then it will be my wife and I at home. It's then that I will accept more responsibility at work. But not so much that my marriage would play second fiddle.
I have seen many of my friends and family buy expensive cars, houses, and rack up so much debt that they were forced to work 60 hour weeks in order to stay on top of their payments. Only to end up divorced and claiming bankruptcies a short time later.
Recently my daughter just turned 16. In our house that means she is allowed to start dating in a group. For her birthday I gave her a promise ring and told her I made a promise when she was born that I would love and support her with all my heart. I told her the next man who puts a diamond ring her finger must make the same commitment to her and support her for the rest of her life. I explained marriage is for real and should not be taken lightly. Being a teenager, she rolled her eyes, but everyday I see her ring on her finger and I know I got the message across.
I want to thank you again for being on the radio, I want you to know that I made a choice and I'm glad I did.
Thanks
T.
Staff
2010-09-23T03:48:36Z
Weight Control and Loss
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Weight-Control-and-Loss/7847.html
2010-09-22T03:32:26Z
2010-09-22T03:32:26Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>A few days ago, while driving I heard a portion of a phone call where the lady was looking for motivation to lose weight. Your answer was no motivation works. Eventually it is a matter of character. I am paraphrasing, but essentially you said an individual has to decide whether they keep faith with themselves or not. A person has to make a choice to be honorable and to close that refrigerator door. You mentioned how awful we feel when we cheat, and that we are cheating ourselves. I don't want to be the type of person who cheats!
Well, I have chosen to let that phone call be a defining moment for me. I maintained a normal weight until my early 40's, but then found out that I could eat all I wanted, that chocolate soothed the pain of divorce and lonely parenting, and I "blossomed" up from 125 lbs to 2 00lbs. Yeah...I know. Disgusting.
When I look at my weight control as a reflection of my character, my self discipline, I am determined to be who I believe I am. Yesterday I walked into a candy store, picked up the mint chocolates, put them back down. Picked up the chocolate covered almonds, walked around, put them back down. Avoided driving to the delicatessen with my favorite imported chocolate bars today! I know I haven't spent much time thinking this way, but I am already finding that if I take a few moments to ask myself if I am noble, if I can be trusted to keep my word, if I have enough character to follow through with my commitment...SO FAR....it works. Heaven knows I am old enough to be a responsible person. And I want my personal appearance to reflect that.
God bless you for encouraging moms to stay home with their kids, for women to cherish their husbands, and for people to maintain perspective in life and enjoy all that we have. Do not stop saying what has to be said!!!!!
P.
Staff
2010-09-22T03:32:26Z
How Parenthood Changed My Daughter's Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Parenthood-Changed-My-Daughters-Life/7848.html
2010-09-21T02:55:05Z
2010-09-21T02:55:05Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura:
This is so amazing, I just had to share it with you. This is from our 23 year old daughter that just a few years ago in her last year of high school, we thought we were going to lose her to the ravages of the world. Through our commitment to God and applying your values in life, this is what we have undeservedly ended up with...Enjoy...
The last (soon to be) 12 months have altered me in a way that I never imagined possible. I knew that parenthood would change my lifestyle, yes. I had no idea it would have such a drastic effect on my entire being.
My view of myself is altered forever. I could never have believed there would someone in the world more important to me than absolutely anything else. My life revolves around how she's feeling and how I'm doing as a mother. My self image is no longer based on how good a friend I'm being or how popular I am or even what other people think about me. Am I a good mother? Am I doing the best job I can for her? Does she know how fully and completely I love her? My self worth is entirely based on those questions. There is a tiny human being holding all of that in her little hands.
I knew when I got pregnant my purse would look a little different. Instead of my cell phone being the number one priority, now it's formula. I frequently forget my car keys in the house but there's always a stash of diapers at the ready.
My view of my husband is entirely different as well. I've always thought of him as my best friend. He can make me laugh, make me feel complete, and he has always made me proud. Now, I'm proud in a completely different way. He's an incredible father. I've never seen someone love so openly and so completely. He tells her 100 times a day he loves her and he missed her while he was at work. This is a child who will never have to wonder if her daddy loves her. I could never have been luckier to find someone who would be such a magnificent father to my baby.
My view of the world is different. I was naive about the dangers of the world as most young people are. It's a given you get more protective when you're responsible for someone helpless. I never could have imagined I would see more beauty in the world with her here. It's amazing to watch her smile at a blade of grass or point at the flowers because she thinks they're amazing. Everything is new and incredibly cool to her and I wish we could all get back to that childlike amazement.
I believe that all children are a blessing from God but I believe God gave me my daughter to remind me what was truly important in life. I don't care how people perceive me as long as I make it clear I love my family and I'm doing the best I can for them. The world is beautiful and God wanted me to enjoy it with her and cherish it while I can. He wanted me to be reminded every day of how incredibly blessed I am to have my husband in my life. I'm just so grateful God deemed me worthy to be a part of this family and a mother to such a loving, beautiful, perfect little person.
Staff
2010-09-21T02:55:05Z
Saved in the Frozen Foods Section
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Saved-in-the-Frozen-Foods-Section/7849.html
2010-09-18T04:59:40Z
2010-09-18T04:59:40Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>I have to tell you how you saved my life.
I am a stay at home mother of 3 small children and by some miracle I married a very good man. I have spent the last 10 years of my life angry and self destructive. I lived my life desperately trying to fill the silence both emotionally and physically. Any moment of peace would force me to look at myself and who I'd become. I considered myself completely unlovable and very obviously damaged. I felt that everyone could see right through me and knew how worthless I really was so I avoided any real relationships and had nothing but physical and superficial relationships with men.
After becoming a wife and mother I became desperate not to pass along my emotional issues to my children. For them I needed to, at the very least, appear sane and normal. I started 'Bad Childhood, Good Life' with a strong determination to gain all I could from it. Slowly I felt myself changing. Without knowing how, my interactions with others became more relaxed. I laughed more, looked outside of my own feelings for joy, and lived for others. I continually forgot to bring along my big bag of poo.
One night I was at the supermarket shopping and listening to you on my ipod. In the frozen foods section I reached into the freezer for what I needed and when the door closed there I was. I paused your show and just stared as tears started to pour down my face because in all the silence and in my own eyes I saw a person worth loving. I felt a huge weight lift from my shoulders and genuine joy fill my heart. I am a happier and more giving wife and mother. I no longer need to challenge my husband to convince me I am loved because I know I am. I have much more patience with my children because I know how truly blessed I am.
You gave me my life back with your book and saved me thousands of dollars in botox that would have otherwise been spent to correct my frown lines. Thank you thank you thank you, I cannot say it enough.
S.
Staff
2010-09-18T04:59:40Z
Traditional Family Values
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Traditional-Family-Values/7850.html
2010-09-17T05:30:23Z
2010-09-17T05:30:23Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dr. Laura:
I am proud to say I am a 27 year old who is a stay at home mom to a beautiful 8 month old son. A lifelong goal has been fulfilled and I am happier than ever. Just yesterday I was reading through your book "Stupid Things Parents Do to Mess Up Their Kids" (aka: "Parenthood by Proxy"). In the introduction, under the heading "Just plain 'Loco'", Lisa McNally wrote to you about two-income families. These "families" as they are labeled these days, are nothing like what the word was designed around. Too busy to stop and smell their greatest opportunity drift by, these parents strive to satisfy themselves while providing physically for their children. But what about all the other needs our children have today?
I mourn my passing old-fashioned beliefs about hearth and home as I watch co-workers, friends, and family get caught up with the materialistic worldview in which we are surrounded. And now, as I listen to some of my friends, I realize that they don't even consider staying at home with their children as an option- the idea is foreign to them!
Stupidly, we, as Americans, wonder where our once great nation went wrong. It was when we ripped the heart out of it...when God, morals, values, and family were considered a thing of the past and something to mock.
Just Sunday my husband and I were stating we had been born in the wrong era. He mentioned we should have been born back when, "women were women and men respected them and lead them." Now I would beg to differ...We were meant to be here and now, calling America back to its roots by refusing to be caught up in her decay!
I hear my son waking up from his nap. My most favorite and special part of every day is his waking moments. As I peek open his bedroom door and see his face light up in a giant smile I think about all that parents are missing as they fight for the bigger home, better car, and stress of going into debt for them.
Thank you for who you are and what you stand for and thanks for working to encourage others to stand with you.
Amie
Staff
2010-09-17T05:30:23Z
Changing my Mindset Changed my Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-my-Mindset-Changed-my-Life/7851.html
2010-09-16T03:38:51Z
2010-09-16T03:38:51Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Hi, Dr. Laura,
I'm 24 years old and finally, I'm doing the right thing. And the thing I'm doing that is oh-so-right is I learned to listen and respond to feedback, in all its forms. I was hoping that you could share this with your listeners, because it's a life lesson that I am so grateful to have learned early in this life.
As a child, I was afraid if I did things wrong it meant a host of awful things I was stupid, I didn't listen well, I was annoying people, I was high maintenance. I would love to be able to tell you that that made me a perfectionist, but it didn't, I was still the same person who made the same human mistakes. Instead of owning up to them, however, I would defend my error and justify it, saying, "This is MY way of doing it, your way is STUPID." My father was never big on the lovey-dovey oh-so-sweet compliments (It was never, "Sweetheart! That is the best drawing of a cat I've ever seen!", it was always, "Cats don't have stick legs, try to draw that leg so it has more depth, and make sure it attaches to the shoulder"), and so I cut him out of anything I did for fear of criticism. He never saw the play I wrote be acted out at my high school, he never saw when I made those baskets on the basketball team, he never met my friends, and that was the way I wanted it at the time. I wish I could go back and change all that.
My life became violently thrown off track when I was 19, and by the time I was 23, I was living with my parents again and trying to repair the shattered pieces of a career and a future that I had destroyed by shacking up, making poor choices, and insisting that I never needed advice from anyone. My dad sat me down, and as usual, I didn't get the, "Sweetheart, you have made the best choices I have ever seen!" talk, I got the, "Let's break down where you went wrong" talk. I hated that talk. But this time he started it slightly differently, and I think this is a message people need to hear, and you're really my only avenue to broadcast this. Here's what he said:
"There is a profound difference between people who fail and people who succeed. That difference is the same difference as people who reject criticism, and those who take criticism as motivation." He explained that other people could see how off track I was going, but I was screaming too loudly to hear their warnings. I could take offense to what people said, or I could take it as a challenge to be better. My father failed in life, too, but he listened, and when people offered him advice he heard it calmly and coolly. He took the pieces of advice he liked, discarded the rest, but became a better person because he understood his shortcomings and worked to improve them.
Listening to your show, I could take offense to a lot of what you say, but I've learned that I (and everyone else on the planet, for that matter) should listen to your oft-blunt criticisms and take them for what they are: a way to help us see where we went off track. So, thanks.
A.
Staff
2010-09-16T03:38:51Z
Writing to an Adversary
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Writing-to-an-Adversary/7852.html
2010-09-15T05:31:42Z
2010-09-15T05:31:42Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Hi Dr. Laura,
One of the ways you've helped me will surely make you smile.
Years ago on your program you described how to write a letter to an adversary so THEY would know what the text REALLY means, but anyone else reading the correspondence would think the writer was being sweet.
Here's the story: A nasty, aggressive neighbor was putting evil notes in the rural mailbox attached to my fence post. I mean REALLY evil, with Satanic drawings and images with curses, like, "I hope you drop dead and your cattle die of boils." The letters were normally put into sealed envelopes with pictures of angels on them so I would be fooled into opening the disgusting notes, which, of course, would ruin the rest of my day.
After listening to your show I received another Satanic message in my mailbox. I went out and bought a lovely card without text, and sent it to the nasty neighbor with, "Dear_____, May everything you have wished for me, return to you tenfold, and all your dreams and hopes for me rest on your doorstep forever."
I never received another card again. You are absolutely brilliant and you have blessed my family in so many ways.
Keep on keepin' on.
Love you,
"M"
Staff
2010-09-15T05:31:42Z
A Sad Day Orphanage Incident
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Sad-Day-Orphanage-Incident/7853.html
2010-09-14T05:03:42Z
2010-09-14T05:03:42Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
My neighbor just told me a story that shook my heart and brought tears to my eyes. I immediately thought you would understand.
My neighbor's son goes to a local day orphanage. She chose this particular day care because it has "sunny yellow walls and the toys looked clean." This was her standard for the people who would raise her child.
This day care recently acquired a three year old Chinese boy, whose parents are recent immigrants from China to attend medical school at a local university. This boy speaks no English. Today was his first day. The situation I heard went like this: the boy's mother hurriedly rushed him inside, said something to him in Chinese, and then left again. Immediately, the boy started bawling and backing himself into the corner. As day care workers and other moms tried to soothe him, he only became more frantic, until one day care worker scooped him up and took him away because he was upsetting the other children.
Imagine this scenario from our grown-up, rational mind: being dropped off into a new, frantically busy environment, where no one speaks our language and our one connection to this new world has just driven away with tires squealing. That would feel like prison. Now imagine that as a three year old boy and you can see why he was "freaking out," as my neighbor so delicately put it.
My heart hurts for this little boy, who has truly been stuck in a day orphanage, in every sense of that term. The best I can do is keep my own two girls close and be thankful for the life my husband and I have chosen.
Thanks for being a voice for children, no matter their race, creed, language or origin.
Thanks for reading,
A Proud SAHM
Staff
2010-09-14T05:03:42Z
Pretending to be in Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Pretending-to-be-in-Love/7854.html
2010-09-14T01:36:29Z
2010-09-14T01:36:29Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
I was listening to an in-depth interview on PBS radio with Patricia Heaton (Debra on "Everyone Loves Raymond") and she told a story from her past:
She had been married for many years (and still is) and landed a role where she had to kiss another man. She said in this role she had to "pretend" she was very much in love with her co-star. After many kisses, she suddenly felt a spark because of this play acting to love this man. She said he felt it too and they said "No way." Interestingly enough, she said she learned by that experience to use that technique at home with her husband, to "pretend" with him when things are down and guess what it works!
I know you have told your listeners basically the same thing.
Sandy
Staff
2010-09-14T01:36:29Z
HUG ME, HUG ME, HUG ME.....It's a Miracle!!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/HUG-ME,-HUG-ME,-HUG-ME.....Its-a-Miracle!!/7855.html
2010-09-10T03:45:16Z
2010-09-10T03:45:16Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
As I drove down the road listening to you counsel the young lady to greet her hubby by saying...in a silly voice..."
Hug me, hug me, hug me
", I thought...no way would that ever work. Brother, Dr. Laura!!
Well...let me tell you...I tried it myself this morning! WOW...instant results. The look on my husband's face about melted my heart as his arms immediately took me in for an absolutely awesome hug! I thought about it all day today, and how it changed the tone of our day.
We are not newlyweds, and frankly, life recently has had many changes and challenges....first child off to college, other children back to school, work and financial pressure, among other things. It just seemed as though we were orbiting on different planets. No big problems, just little gnawing ones that eat away at marital bliss. I was not being appreciative of him and his constant, stable presence in my life, as well as our children's.
So your advice gave me a challenge that I decided to take! And it has put us both back on the same planet!! Just the beginning of many more meaningful hugs...many more times a day!
Thanks for all you do for marriage!!! I SURE APPRECIATE YOU!
L.
Staff
2010-09-10T03:45:16Z
Guys Way of Showing Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Guys-Way-of-Showing-Love/7856.html
2010-09-09T03:30:58Z
2010-09-09T03:30:58Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>I sent the following letter to my wife:
I was listening to Dr Laura today and I feel I have to put something down I heard her say or I am going to go nuts.
I am a guy,
Guys, whether women like it or not, are fixers and view their role in the world as protectors and fixers.
I know you don't want to be fixed and I have been really trying hard to stay out of your way but listen to what I feel, it might help you to understand my own frustrations.
This is how "all" guys are wired we cannot help it.
Fact:
The entire economy has turned upside down.
Feeling:
It is my job to protect my family from this but I can't and have to ask you for help.
Fact:
You had to go back to work and it causes a lot of pain for you.
Feeling:
It is my fault because I am not a good enough provider or protector of my family.
Fact:
I see you drinking and taking pills to help you sleep through your pain and worry.
Feeling:
It is my fault because I am not a good enough provider and you have to work.
Fact:
I see the alcohol and pills taking their toll on you both mentally and physically.
Feeling:
It is my fault because I can't fix or help you, I cannot provide the income to keep you home.
Fact:
Our oldest daughter and you don't like each other and the more I attempt to help the more trouble I cause.
Feeling:
It is my fault because I should be able to fix anything - that is my job.
Fact:
People at your work say things that hurt your feelings and I see it when you get home.
Feeling:
I cannot fix it, or really do anything about it so I feel like I am not protecting you.
Fact:
You are not attracted to me anymore sexually.
Feeling:
I have failed at having the most basic of male skills, attracting a woman.
I am not complaining at all nor am I getting on my pity pot. I know many of these things are beyond my control. I wanted you to know that being a "guy" is just as difficult as being a "girl" the only difference is that guys can be blamed for almost everything and they will accept responsibility because that is what they have been taught and wired to do.
I feel impotent, useless, incapable and having a difficult time focusing on the real problems at hand. My way of sharing your pain is to accept responsibility for it and attempt to fix it.
I am a guy that is what I do please don't condemn me for doing what I am wired to do, it is the way I show you I love you.
S.
Staff
2010-09-09T03:30:58Z
Time to Stop Being Myself
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Time-to-Stop-Being-Myself/7857.html
2010-09-08T06:49:00Z
2010-09-08T06:49:00Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
After almost 30 years of following the popular phrase "be yourself and people will like you", I have finally realized that's a complete lie. What precipitated my complete change of view is that I went to a get together at a park.
I really like rollerblading so I brought along my rollerblades. I knew there was going to be volleyball and basketball there also. When I was at the party I talked to people but felt uncomfortable the whole time as I usually do. At a certain point I decided to go off alone for a while and go rollerblade. I did this a couple of times and once someone even commented about me being my own person. While I was talking to people all I could think about was how easy and natural for all of these people and how uncomfortable I was. I even saw a girl I found quite attractive and again my thoughts turned to how uncomfortable I was and how jealous I was of the guy who was talking too her. Once during the party I saw someone alone shooting a basketball by themselves while I was with a group of people playing volleyball. When I saw him I thought, this guy looks lonely and uncomfortable, someone I didn't want to be around. At that time I didn't see the connection with me.
While driving home, I just started wallowing in my thoughts. What did I do wrong? How come all of these other people are having such a good time and I can't? Why can't I ever get the girl? As you would say, I was having a big pity party. After I got home, your wisdom finally hit me. I have listened to your show for several years and I have begun reading "Bad Childhood, Good Life". I started looking at all of my actions honestly. When I went off rollerblading it was really because I am most comfortable being alone. As much as I like to tell myself I don't want to be alone, it's what I do because it's where I am most comfortable. I won't go into a long story about my childhood, but it's what I learned to do as a child. I also thought about all of the thoughts that were coming into my head at the party, they were all selfish. I spent the whole time thinking about me instead of the other people at the party. Lastly the biggest thing which hit me was the person playing basketball alone. I realized that's exactly what I was doing with my rollerblades, running away. If this was a person that I didn't want to be around then why would anyone want to be around me? This is when I finally realized I can't continue to be myself if I want to be happy and have real relationships with other people.
As my first act of not being myself and not being selfish. I want to say thank you for all that you do. To me you will always be "Mother Laura". You give me the advice and direction that my parents never game me. To you I can truthfully say "always be yourself." You are what all people should strive to be like.
J.
Staff
2010-09-08T06:49:00Z
Proud of My Daughter
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Proud-of-My-Daughter/7858.html
2010-08-27T03:53:10Z
2010-08-27T03:53:10Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dr Laura -
This week with all it's troubles dealing with an aging mother and crazy dance rehearsals I had to email you to tell you how proud I am of my daughter. You heard me right, dance rehearsals. I am a tap dancer getting ready for a big show on Sunday. Tap is my life. I have been doing it since I was 4 and I am 46!
I need to get back on what I was emailing you about. My daughter is 23, she is engaged and recently moved out to grow up. She moved away in May. She is the kid I never thought would completely grow up and wind up being able to take care of herself fully. She has a learning disability that is pretty bad. She had special classes in high school because the school said she could not "function". They did not teach her life skills at all and when she got out in 2005 she dabbled in dating and going to college but was never serious.
She made this big move and this started the ball rolling. Since moving she has taken on dealing with all her own grown up issues including her medical and car issues. In the past I would have had to have gone with her to her college to help her get the things she would need to be successful and I would have to interact with all the counselors. When she was at home she would never have crashed a class in hopes of getting in. Her new found independence got her crashing 2 out of the 4 classes she needed for school there. She crashed both of them and got in. She could not believe how easy it was.
Last night when we were on the phone she told me she felt like she had succeeded in handling her own things and was glad I had been her support for so long. She said she will still call for advice on cooking and other things but she now knows she can grow up and handle things on her own. This was a big step for her. I am so proud of her. She also informed me she may change her major from teacher to radiologist if I didn't mind and I told her that it was "her" decision not mine to make and whatever she did would be fine with her dad and me because she had made the decision on her own.
Just thought you would like to share in the joy her dad and I are sharing.
D.
Staff
2010-08-27T03:53:10Z
I Blew It with My Blended Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Blew-It-with-My-Blended-Family/7859.html
2010-08-27T03:28:29Z
2010-08-27T03:28:29Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Hi Dr. Laura,
I have been listening for a long time and often heard you speak about the difficulties of blending two families. The first time I heard you mention blended families don't usually work, I was angry with you, because I thought my blended family was a Godsend. We seemed to be functioning just fine(according to me).
Well, my husband of four years decided to leave me and my daughters 2 weeks ago and his main reason was "I am tired of being neglected". That hit me like a ton of bricks. I thought I had been taking good care of him, and that he had all of his needs met. Turns out, none of his needs had been met. I realize now your stance on blended families was completely accurate, and I felt incredible guilt for causing him so much pain and neglect. It seems looking back, that I could only make one part of my family happy, my children, or my husband. In all honesty, it's not fair to either of them.
I didn't want to let him go, but I see now that it's inevitable. I lost a really good man, and my heart will probably never heal. I made a promise to myself today that I will remain single until my daughters are grown. That gives me about six years to fix what's broken. I will miss my husband immensely, but because I love him so much, I have to set him free. He deserves a wife who can serve him with her whole heart. I wish that was me!
Anyway, my kids and I will carry on and will be stronger and wiser from this experience. I am so sorry I hurt my husband, and also my children. I wish I had a magic wand to wipe away all the pain. Thank you for teaching us the reality of our situation and for bringing clarity to my troubled heart. I love you Dr. Laura.
R.
Staff
2010-08-27T03:28:29Z
Apology Accepted
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Apology-Accepted/7860.html
2010-08-25T07:07:50Z
2010-08-25T07:07:50Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Thank you for putting
your apology
on your website for everyone to read. I have been a listener for over 15 years starting in San Antonio, TX where I was stationed in the USAF and continuing in Tucson, AZ after I retired. You have taken a lot of abuse and attacks that would have destroyed a weaker person. It breaks my heart to hear you are leaving radio. After 9/11 your program and callers put faith back into my heart that our nation would not be frightened by the terrorist bombers and those who support them. Your program and your assurance to listeners who called your program made more sense than any of the news programs I heard on television. I understand why you made the decision to leave radio, but you will be missed more than you will know. Your common sense advice and darling sense of humor have brightened many of my days. God Bless you from all of us you have helped and encouraged through the years!
I agree with Sarah Palin ... "reload" and keep on speaking up for those of us who need your voice talking to American families.
With the greatest respect,
Tracy
Staff
2010-08-25T07:07:50Z
Who Do I Want to Impress?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Who-Do-I-Want-to-Impress/7861.html
2010-08-18T07:09:40Z
2010-08-18T07:09:40Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
This past weekend I found myself at a dinner party with a rather large group of highly educated, career driven men and women. I felt like the odd man out since I am a stay at home mom of 3. I had one couple ask me what I did for a living and I answered, "I raise my 3 kids." They looked at me a little baffled and I could tell they were trying to think of something polite to say... it came out as "Oh....well.... okay..." I just smiled and moved on.
I ran into another young mom who in the midst of our conversation dropped in the fact that she had started her second daughter in day care at the ripe old age of 6 WEEKS. I quickly moved on from that conversation as well.
Lastly I sat and conversed with a young woman about my age, unmarried, with no children. This particular gal has a law degree and a prestigious career. The conversation turned to our careers and I told her I was home raising my kids. She proceeded to ask me the following "Don't you think you would want to achieve more in life? I just think it is so important to show our kids that Mommy can achieve great things in life through a successful career AND raise kids. Don't you want your kids to feel like their mom is accomplished? Don't you ever want to go out and make a difference? Don't you want your kids to be proud of a hard working mom?"
I sat while she was talking and channeled all of my years of listening to you. I prayed I would have the right things to say to this young woman. When she finished this is what I said:
"I wasn't always a stay-at-home mom, I have worked full or part time for most of my kids lives. Last year I was driving my daughter to my friend's house who was watching her for the day while I worked. On the way there my 5 year old daughter starting talking about my job. Then she asked me where my friend worked. I replied that she worked at home raising her kids. My daughter looked at me and leaned back in her seat and exclaimed, 'That is SO COOL' I swallowed hard. I realized then that going to work didn't "impress" my daughter. I realized that being dropped off at different babysitters house at 7am wasn't something she was proud of me for. So basically it comes down to WHO you want to impress in life. I want to impress my KIDS. I want to be their MOM. I want to RAISE my own kids."
The young woman looked at me and only said, "I get it. I totally get it."
Thanks for brainwashing me Dr. Laura so that when I am asked these tough question I know exactly what to say. I am happy to be a PROUD stay at home mom to my 3 kids... and I think they are proud of me too!
Most Sincerely,
Sarah
Staff
2010-08-18T07:09:40Z
What Do You Want to be After College?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Do-You-Want-to-be-After-College/7862.html
2010-08-18T06:22:20Z
2010-08-18T06:22:20Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
I would like to thank you for your encouragement towards moms to stay at home. Ever since 2nd grade I have been listening to you with my mom, and now I am heading off to college. My mom has always been at home for my 3 older siblings and me, her baby.
Recently, my mom and I were eating lunch with my childhood friend, who I will be living with, and her mom, who is also a stay at home mom. While we were eating, her mom stopped and said, "A few days ago I added up all the money I would have made if I didn't stop working when I had kids, and the number was incredible. But you know what? I wouldn't change it for anything. I can't imagine working and missing my kids' lives." My mom pitched in, "Oh, I know! 18 years flies by so quickly. I can't imagine how much faster it would have gone if I was gone most of the time. And anyways, what would I have done with a second income? I would have just bought more stuff."
I always knew kids meant a lot to their parents, but this conversation blew me away. I am so thankful for my mother's choice and my father's support and hard work. I can look back on my childhood with happy memories. Instead of daycare or preschool, I played with my mom, siblings, or neighbors. When I forgot my lunch for school at home, my mom brought it to me. When I was sick, she was able to care for me without any conflicts. My parents also never missed a sports game. Lately I've been asked what I want to be after college. I tell people, "I don't know. I would love to be a stay at home mom if I had kids, though." 90% of the time people laugh and say, "You will need the 2nd income" or "You should aim higher." In response, when I am too weak to argue, I just smile and say, "I'll make it work," knowing how much I loved having my mom at home.
Thank you, Dr. Laura, for encouraging mothers to stay at home with their children to love and care for them. I know I will be forever grateful.
Staff
2010-08-18T06:22:20Z
Makes Me Want to be a Better Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Makes-Me-Want-to-be-a-Better-Man/7863.html
2010-08-12T03:16:49Z
2010-08-12T03:16:49Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dr. Laura,
My wife and I went through some serious head bashing several years ago regarding finances. We solved the problem by separating our finances and 'keeping our noses out of each others business.'
I thought this was working famously until I mentioned that I intended to fly first class on our upcoming vacation trip. I saw a change in my wife's eyes for a moment. She said, "Well, I'll be back in coach. I just can't afford first class." Then she walked away. I knew something was wrong. When I asked her what, she started crying. She said she really wanted to 'hold up her end of the bargain' but couldn't afford first class. I said, "Honey, I'll take care of you."
She put her arms around me, put her head against my chest and said, "I'd like that. I'm so tired of taking care of everything myself. I like it when you take care of me."
I have never heard more uplifting words from anyone in my life. At the risk of stealing lines from movies, she 'makes me want to be a better man.' We've both been through first marriages. We've both been through tough times. My new goal is to provide for the essentials so she can work if she wants to but doesn't have to work to support our lifestyle. I feel a greater sense of purpose, find myself more focused and feel more loved that I have in many, many years.
R.
Staff
2010-08-12T03:16:49Z
Attitude Shift
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Attitude-Shift/7864.html
2010-08-12T03:05:23Z
2010-08-12T03:05:23Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>I wanted to let you in on a little trick I do when I am feeling a bit overwhelmed with family stuff and day to day chores. Instead of thinking I "have" to do something, ie. laundry, groceries, etc, I think instead I "get" to do these things for my family. It changes the whole perspective and makes me want to do a better job.
T.
Staff
2010-08-12T03:05:23Z
Happy To Be Back To Being A SAHM
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Happy-To-Be-Back-To-Being-A-SAHM/7865.html
2010-08-12T02:50:16Z
2010-08-12T02:50:16Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>I am a SAHM to my nine month old twin boys, however this week I volunteered at a church for camp. I don't know how working moms do it because by being gone for the 3-4 hours each day our lives have been more chaotic. Our house is messy, the boys are needy, and my husband has been neglected because I am tired in the evening. I am so grateful to my husband for his hard work to let me stay home and so I thought I would let you know that I am happy to be back to just being a mom tomorrow and I know my boys will be also.
I have never really thought about the difference it makes for me to be at home with them but this week really showed how much happier they are when I am with them. They are more confident, they sleep and eat better, and they are happier in the evening when Dad comes home. Thank you for being an advocate for SAHM as the longer I am one, the more important I believe it is for moms to be around with the kids. It makes such a huge difference.
S.
Staff
2010-08-12T02:50:16Z
A Better Wife, Companion and Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Better-Wife,-Companion-and-Mother/7866.html
2010-08-12T02:14:08Z
2010-08-12T02:14:08Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
I was recently given your book, 'The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands' by a friend of mine who does parenting classes. My husband and I have had a pretty hard relationship and a lot of bad times. My friend who gave me the book wanted me to read it and at first, I thought to myself 'You've got to be kidding me.' and I put the book aside. And then things just got worse to the point that my husband and I would argue in front of our children and when it got to the point where we started getting violent with each other and were seriously considering divorce, I came across the book which I had hidden on the bookshelf. I was so distraught that I figured it wouldn't hurt just to give it a read because after all, I do really love my husband with all my heart and soul and I didn't want to lose him.
I will say that I am very glad that I picked up your book that day and started reading. I have come to realize that I was being selfish and not properly taking care of my husband who has stuck by my side no matter what I have done or what has happened. I am going to push your book to just about everyone I know that is having problems like we had.
You were absolutely right about how horrid most women have become. They have become selfish and only think about themselves and their own happiness. I have come to realize that without my husband, I am nothing. He slaves just to make sure that we are taken care of. He IS the other half of me and I should care for him accordingly and do everything in my power to make him happy, especially for everything he has done for us, our child, and my children from my previous marriage whom he treats as if they were his own. The least I can do for him is be supportive, encouraging, and make his home life as comfortable as possible. I can't do anything for the outside stresses, but I CAN alleviate the drama in our house and make it a better place that he actually wants to come home to.
In the very beginning of your book, one of your male listeners had stated that you should write your book even if it just saves one family. Well, Dr. Laura, he was absolutely correct. Your book has saved not only my marriage but has given me a different outlook on life and I have become a better wife, companion and mother because of you and the woman who gave me your book. So thank you so very much for writing that book. Keep up the wonderful work.
With much gratitude and sincerity,
A.
Staff
2010-08-12T02:14:08Z
Best Father's Day Card
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Best-Fathers-Day-Card-/7867.html
2010-08-11T08:00:18Z
2010-08-11T08:00:18Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Hi Dr. Laura,
I would like to share our 10-year-old daughter Sara's Father's Day card to daddy. Here it is:
((Dear Daddy,
Happy Father's Day! I love you very much Daddy because you are a very good dad. I think you are the best dad any kid could ever have.
P.S. Dr. Laura says that women should make wise decisions about who they marry. Mommy sure made a good choice!
Love, Sara.))
Dr. Laura, we listen to you all the time and your messages are been heard! Thank you for all your nagging and keep up the good work!
A.
(A very proud mom)
Staff
2010-08-11T08:00:18Z
It's Too Much Work NOT to be my Husband's Girlfriend
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Too-Much-Work-NOT-to-be-my-Husbands-Girlfriend/7868.html
2010-08-11T07:53:54Z
2010-08-11T07:53:54Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
I want to thank you for teaching me to be my husband's girlfriend. I share a lot of your wisdom with my friends. They say it all sounds like a lot of "work". I hear women call you saying the same thing.
I'm a stay at home mom of two kids. I treat my husband like a king. I iron his clothes. I get cute for when he comes home. Dinner is always on the table soon after he gets home. If he has to work late or go on a business trip he gets no grief from me. From November to April of this past year he was away for a few days every other week for work. Did I complain? Nope. I just made sure he was happy to come home.
What I get in return is beyond measure. Today is Father's Day. Our dishwasher died. My husband went out and bought a new one. Picked it up in his truck and got on the floor and installed it WITH BROKEN RIBS from an accident last weekend just so I wouldn't have to hand wash dishes while I waited for the store to be able to deliver and install the new dishwasher. He did this on Father's Day! This is a man. I get a cup of coffee made for me every morning. He always gets a nice cup of tea from me after supper. Yesterday his brothers wanted to play golf with him. He said no, he'd rather hang out with me and the kids but we'd meet them for a BBQ later. When were heading to the BBQ I told him to cut loose and have fun with his brothers and I would be the designated driver. It's a beautiful back and forth flow of kindness. Last week he decided that he had been out of town so much for work that I deserved a reward. He booked a three week trip to Hawaii for our family with all the frequent flier miles he earned traveling. My husband has a demanding job. But he isn't one of those workaholics. He uses every single minute of his vacation time. I like to think that's in large part because I'm his girlfriend and am fun to be with.
The way I look at it, it would be way too much work to NOT be my husband's girlfriend. I'd probably be washing dishes right now!
J.
Staff
2010-08-11T07:53:54Z
Kids and Dirt
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Kids-and-Dirt/7869.html
2010-08-11T00:01:28Z
2010-08-11T00:01:28Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>I've heard so many single parents talk on your show, and would like to maybe help them. For 14 years, my son and I have been a team. His father died two months before my son turned 5. Since then, we've had an incredible journey. I was moved to write the other day as I was sweeping the kitchen floor, and this is what came out. Thanks for all you do.
Dirt
I was, once again, sweeping up the dirt on the kitchen floor. Clumps of dirt that fall off the waffle soles of my son's boots, bits of shredded cheese that fall off the counter when he make's himself something to eat, dog hairs from his best friends that find their way into the corners under the cabinets... . But instead of muttering to myself, "Geesh! Will this ever end?" I burst into tears, because it IS coming to an end. My son is now a young man, and will be taking his first solo flight into the world this fall as he leaves the nest for college.
No longer will the dirt be accompanied with the face that runs into the house saying "Look what I just made!" as he shows me the ride-on mower spray painted camouflage green with an utive chair seat welded onto it, or "Come quick, you won't believe what I just found!", as we went and saw the baby bird in it's nest or "My friends and I are going to sit on top of the garage to watch the stars. Is that ok?".
No longer will the dirt be accompanied with a greasy hug (he tinkers with engines all the time now), a pocket full of Lego's (one of his favorite past times), or a flower picked just for me.
And no longer will the dirt fill my home.
But my heart is full and proud. Because the dirt did its job. It nourished and fed my boy: Body, mind and soul. He's grown into a strong, intelligent and caring young man. I know that he will go into this world and carry the dirt with him, spreading his unique style of happiness, his warmth of compassion, and his love of life with him.
Nancy
Staff
2010-08-11T00:01:28Z
Someone ACTUALLY Made a Checklist!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Someone-ACTUALLY-Made-a-Checklist!/7870.html
2010-08-10T23:51:00Z
2010-08-10T23:51:00Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dr. Laura, you are my moral compass and because of you I have made wise choices for my life. I have a wonderful husband who would swim through shark infested waters to bring me lemonade and two of the greatest kids ever. Life couldn't be sweeter than the daily moments I have with my kids. We not wealthy on a single income, but our family couldn't be richer in happiness and love.
In my Parents magazine (June's issue) I read an article that is both sad and disturbing. It is the scary summer story of leaving a child in the hot car because they were too busy to remember the child in the backseat. Sad - YES!!!! But here is where the disturbing part comes in. There is a How to Avoid a Hot Car Tragedy checklist in the article.
REALLLLY????? Now I might need a checklist for packing on a vacation or something, but I sure as heck don't need a checklist to remind me that my child is in the backseat of my car.
Here it is:
Always put your cell phone, purse, briefcase, and anything else you'll need that day on the floor of the backseat. (it ACTUALLY says the next part) When you retrieve it at the end of the ride, you'll notice your child.
Seat your younger (or quieter) child behind the front passenger seat, where he's most likely to catch your eye.
Keep a teddy bear or other stuffed animal in the car seat when it's empty. When you put your child in the seat, move the animal to the front passenger seat, to remind you that your baby's on board.
Ask your child's babysitter or daycare provider to always phone you promptly if your child isn't dropped off as scheduled.
Make a habit of always opening the back door of your car after you park, to check that there is no kid back there.
Never assume someone else- a spouse or older child- has taken a younger kid out of her seat.
Invest in a device to help you remember small passengers. The Cars-N-Kids monitor plays a lullaby when the car stops and a child is in the seat. The ChildMinder System sounds an alarm if you walk away and leave your child in the seat.
Put visual cues in your office and home reminding you to check the car seat.
I've added a few of my own items for a checklist:
Quit your job and stay home with your kids!!!
Give lots of kisses and hugs to your kids throughout the day!
Tickles, squeezes, and raspberries on the tummy are a daily must!!
Be thankful you even have kids (There are many people out there who cannot)!
NEVER be too busy for your kids!!!!
You help so many people that you're not even aware of, thank you for all that you do! Because of YOU Dr. Laura, I'm NEVER TO BUSY for my kids or husband!!!
T.
Staff
2010-08-10T23:51:00Z
When Did You Choose?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-Did-You-Choose/7871.html
2010-08-10T23:24:35Z
2010-08-10T23:24:35Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>I don't know if you actually get an email sent to this address or not...
I have listened to you for a long time... I am gay... my partner and I have a business, and we necessarily hire young guys who are not real organized in their lives to work here...
I frequently tell them they need to listen to your show!! So often they refer to their shack-ups as their fiance, and I always take a moment to explain that you don't do your fiance... you wait until you are finally married to her... and until you are married AND have a way to care for the children you bring into the world, you need to keep it in your pants...
I am not sure if I make any headway... but I provide you as a source of good information for organizing their lives...
I am fully aware that you are not anti-gay...
You know, except for the really far-out fringe, no gay person would ever tell you this is something they would CHOOSE or want... I think it is pretty much true that we all wish we were straight... I see nothing wrong in pointing out that gay is NOT the plan...
I think you understand better than most hetero folk that this was NOT a choice we made... It is DNA and the way we were built at the factory... I don't understand it either...
When a hetero guy asks me when I "became" gay, I always ask when he chose to be hetero -- when did he decide he would do girls instead of boys? He will stammer and tell me he ALWAYS was hetero, and there was never any doubt... BINGO!
J.
Staff
2010-08-10T23:24:35Z
Simple Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Simple-Love/7872.html
2010-08-10T23:06:21Z
2010-08-10T23:06:21Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>I called yesterday overwhelmed with all the tasks I expected of myself and thought I should get done. I am a stay-at-home mom to a beautiful 3 year old girl and a handsome 4 month old boy. Thank you for your encouragement today. I called hoping to hear things I already knew but did not feel. I will try harder to keep a proper perspective of what is REALLY important and to not waste my time worrying about the laundry, etc. I was listening to an Alison Krauss song today and I came to a broader realization of the concern at hand. It is called "Simple Love."
Little yellow house sittin' on a hill
That is where he lived
That is where he died
Every Sunday morning
Hear the weeping willows cry
Two children born
A beautiful wife
Four walls and livin's all he needed in life
Always giving, never asking back
I wish I had a simple love like that
I want a simple love like that
Always giving, never askin' back
For when I'm in my final hour lookin' back
I hope I had a simple love like that
My momma was his only little girl
If he'd had the money he'd have given her the world
Sittin' on the front porch together they would sing
Oh how I long to hear that harmony
I want a simple love like that
Always giving never asking back
When I'm in my final hour looking back
I hope I had a simple love like that
I want a simple love like that
Always giving never asking back
When I'm in my final hour looking back
I hope I had a simple love like that
Although the entire song moves me, I was focused on the part where it says "When I'm in my final hour looking back, I hope I had a simple love like that". Not to sound morbid but...If I reach my final hour and I am on my death bed, I doubt I will look into my husband's eyes and my babies' eyes and say "There's a load in the washer, could you change it to the dryer?" All that crap will melt away and I will see clearly that all that matters in the end is the love I gave and the love I have received. I hope to remember that.
R.
Staff
2010-08-10T23:06:21Z
Sandbagging
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sandbagging/7873.html
2010-08-10T06:10:04Z
2010-08-10T06:10:04Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
I recently heard your commentary on Sandbagging. I am a StreamLink subscriber so I listened to it several times and took notes!
I was sandbagged by my boss after three years of employment during a performance review. He brought up a plethora of little grievances that spanned 3 years. I sat there, completely bewildered because I thought this man liked me and enjoyed me being a part of his office. Some of the things he hit me with were so petty I had no idea how to respond! I went home CRUSHED. I felt like my years there and dedication meant nothing to him. All I knew was that as soon as I could, I would leave that job because our meeting was that damaging.
Nothing was ever the same between us. I tried to do my best work for my remaining few months but I was always watching my back waiting for a stray sandbag to pelt me. Our relationship was destroyed, I was hurt, angry and COMPLETELY humiliated.
I needed to hear your commentary to help me make sense of that situation! I finally realize it wasn't completely my fault. I believe he was trying to take me down a notch, hurt me, and possibly cover up his own indiscretions as to why our team wasn't functioning.
Thanks for all your wonderful insight and wisdom Dr. Laura...listening to you makes me a better person every day!
Sincerely,
S.
Staff
2010-08-10T06:10:04Z
Be Your Husband's Woman and He'll Be Your Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Be-Your-Husbands-Woman-and-Hell-Be-Your-Man/7874.html
2010-08-10T05:48:16Z
2010-08-10T05:48:16Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr Laura,
I have listened to you for over a year now and am slowly changing the feminista attitudes my mother instilled in me.
I used to think it was my husband's job to be sweet and sexy, and if he didn't do everything I wanted when I wanted, I would become whiney and bitchy, no doubt prompting him to think "Why the hell did I marry her!" Finally I realized it's not about what I want but about what he needs, and if I give him a women he'll be my man!
So, a couple of nights ago I decided it was time to implement "Operation make my husband glad he's married to me!" I made him his favorite meal of homemade BBQ chicken pizza with a fresh green salad, then jumped into the shower, applied make up, styled my hair, and sprayed Coco Channel in all the right places! I put on a very short, hot pink silk nighty and matching thong (I work out a lot, so it looked good!) I then sprawled myself on the bed with soft music playing in the background and waited!
When I heard my husband enter the house I called him through to the bedroom, as he peeked around the door a huge smile spread across his face and he said "You look nice!" he then muttered something about be starving after spotting the pizza in the kitchen. I said "Well tonight we are having dessert first!" He didn't argue, and I proceeded to undress him and give him a relaxing back rub before we had some intimate fun together. About half way through I said "So what would you rather have right now, pizza....or me?" He said ME!!!!!
We ate our lovely meal shortly after and snuggled on the couch together, what a night!
The next morning I wandered into the kitchen to find my hubby silently emptying the overflowing re-cycling bin and take it into the garage. Normally I have to nag him for at least 10 minutes to get that job done... but not this morning!
You are right Dr Laura, we do have the POWER, give your man a women and he will (without question) be your man!!!!
Warm wishes
N.
Staff
2010-08-10T05:48:16Z
Coming From Broken Homes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Coming-From-Broken-Homes/7875.html
2010-08-10T04:12:39Z
2010-08-10T04:12:39Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
While listening to the e-mails yesterday that you were reading on the air, I couldn't help but think about what I hear about at work. I teach 8th grade English. It is sad how many of my students come from broken homes. I can see it in their eyes and hear it in their voices they know they aren't first in their parent's eyes. This is some of what my students tell me:
•"We're moving to Pennsylvania because my mom's boyfriend got a new job there."
•"My stupid dad's girlfriend moved in with her two kids and they keep getting into my stuff!"
•"I hate going home to my stepdad. My mom works nights"
•"My mom and stepdad are divorcing, so we're probably moving and moving schools."
•"My dad's girlfriend was reading my text messages! She has no right! I hate that she lives with us and she and my dad aren't even married!"
I know none of this is new to you, Dr. Laura, but I hear it too. Between what you share and what I have heard from my students over the years, I truly understand why I shouldn't be dating. I'm a divorced father as well. Yes I miss the companionship, sharing my life with someone, waking up with a wife, etc., but I get it that my kids should come first!
And on the subject of cell phones, I don't know what we are trying to teach our kids with these things! The more unlimited access these youngsters have to their friends with the cell phones, the more we tell them that their friends come first, before school, family, etc. I've even addressed students who have had their phones out in class, and they tell me, "Oh, my mom just called me/texted me." During school?!?! Leave your kids alone, like our parents did, while they are at school. Education is a high priority. But what can I expect from people who'd rather date then raise their kids?
Thanks for your time, and what you do DAILY!!!
T.
Staff
2010-08-10T04:12:39Z
Checking in Since Quitting my JOB!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Checking-in-Since-Quitting-my-JOB!/7876.html
2010-08-10T03:59:49Z
2010-08-10T03:59:49Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Hi Dr Laura!
Its been exactly 8 months and 11 days since I quit my job to be at home with my son! I've emailed you twice in the past. First about "Kissing My Baby's Face Off" and second when I informed you I FINALLY quit that stressful job and yanked my then 9 month old son out of daycare to stay home with him!
WHAT A WONDERFUL BLESSING! The first thing I did was buy your book "In Praise of Stay At Home Moms". The second thing I did was witness the fun new discoveries my son made every single day! Next, I lost 12 inches (A WHOLE FREAKING FOOT) off my belly! I don't regret a SINGLE moment! Yes I do without! Yes I clip coupons! BUT SO WHAT? My son is happy, I am skinny, my house is clean and organized (I don't run out of things to do!), and my husband is getting even more loving than ever before!!! And my son gets his "child to child interaction" at the gym for 2 hours a day, 5 days a week while I work off some stress and weight!!!
THANK YOU FOR PUSHING ME! MORE MOMS SHOULD LISTEN TO YOU!!! And thanks for your support for our men and women in the military. My brother in law is in Iraq right now. So I am going to take my baby and visit my sister and my nephew for a WHOLE WEEK, couldn't do that with a J-O-B!!!!!
M.
ONE HAPPY HOUSEWIFE/HUSBAND's GIRLFRIEND AND MOMMY!
Staff
2010-08-10T03:59:49Z
Be the Wife the Other Men Want
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Be-the-Wife-the-Other-Men-Want/7877.html
2010-08-10T03:46:43Z
2010-08-10T03:46:43Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>The other night my husband got home at about midnight from a guys' Bible study. When he walked through the door I asked him how it was. He didn't even tell me about what they were studying. He went straight into this account. He was talking to a single guy friend about marriage. This friend said he wanted a wife like me. I was a little shocked. So what qualities that he saw in me did he want in a wife? He told my husband the following: I don't nag him when he is out with the guys, I just let him go without making him feel guilty he isn't spending that time with me and our two kids, I am not needy by the fact that he can leave on guy weekends or be available for other people and I can take care of myself, I stay fit, and it really shows that I respect Mike and love him when we are around others. In other words I am my husband's girlfriend.
Another incident of being admired as a wife was when my husband worked at the local prison. I was working days and when I got home we had about 45 minutes together each day before he had to go to work. My husband always went early to get debriefed on what had happened during the day. Well our sex life wasn't going so great because of our schedules. So I came home one day, occupied the kids with a movie, and seduced my husband. Needless to say he was late for the optional debriefing and barely right on time for his shift. The other guards jokingly harassed him for being late. Then he bragged about what his wife had done to him: he was a helpless victim in a seduction. The joking stopped and the other guys stated that they wished their wives would do that. Word spread quickly around the guards and guys that weren't even on the same tier or shift as my husband were coming up to him before or after his shift to ask if it was true. All he got was "Man I wish my wife would do that to me." Another thing that endeared me to the other guys was that I didn't call and text Mike as soon as his shift was over to see when he was coming home. I let him talk to the other guards to distress himself. He was the only guy not being nagged by his wife to come home.
I am not writing this to brag on myself. I am far from perfect and still revert now and then to a wife and not a girlfriend. Yet I have been trying hard these past eight years to be consistent. The reason I am writing this is to encourage wives to truly take your advice and be his girlfriend and not just a "wife". This stuff really works, go figure. So to all you wives out there Dr. Laura really knows what she is talking about! Be that wife the other guys want to have, be a great girlfriend! Be a role model for others.
Keep up the great work, Dr. Laura. You are truly making a difference in the world one family at a time. Thank you for being a champion for the family in every aspect of life.
God Bless,
J.
Staff
2010-08-10T03:46:43Z
Why Do People Think Parenting Is A Thankless Job?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Do-People-Think-Parenting-Is-A-Thankless-Job/7878.html
2010-08-10T03:15:38Z
2010-08-10T03:15:38Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
I am a mom to four children from 7 to 16 years old and we all listen to your show during my afternoon "drive time." I have three different school pickups and then we turn around and head off to doctor's appointments, chorus rehearsal, youth group, sports and the teenager's job. I spend a lot of time in the car! Your wisdom has guided so many of my decisions and now it is seeping into my children's brains while they ride home!
I want to take issue from an attitude I hear from friends and some of the callers on your show. Why do people feel that parenting is a thankless job? I get an awful lot of thanks and praise from my children. My teenage daughter tells me multiple times a week that she is grateful for the big and small things I do for her and that she is so glad that her dad and I are HER parents. She says that she is one of the few kids she knows who can tell her mom anything and everything. Sometimes she wishes she could keep things private, but she usually ends up telling me what is going on, whether it is something that has upset her or excited her. Is she a freak of nature: a grateful teen? While I do think she's special, I think the reason she's grateful is because she knows how important she is to both her parents.
A few days ago I was driving my kindergarten son home from school and listening to the tales from the playground and the great tragedy of the lunchbox that got knocked over by the wind. He asked me, "Mommy, what do kids do at "childcare?" He has been frustrated that so many kids he wants to play with go to childcare after school. I told him that at childcare they have snacks and playtime and watch movies (trying to be as neutral as I could be). Quietly he said, "So they stay at school until nighttime?" I said yes and then very slowly he said, "That's why you don't work, right? Cause I really like playing Legos in my own room and getting to be with my own mom again!" I said yes, that I don't work because I want to take care of my children myself, instead of paying someone else. What happened next astounded me. In the silence of the minivan I heard one small boy clapping. If he wasn't buckled in I might have gotten a standing ovation. Who says you don't get thanked?
So why am I getting praise? Am I a perfect mom? Hardly! But I think if you want to get thanked for parenting, you actually have to show up and do the job - each and every day, instead of paying someone else most of the time.
What made my son's praise especially poignant was that when we first met, he was almost four years old. He has overcome an early life in an orphanage, learning English and lots of speech therapy (he has cleft lip and palate.) His determination to love and be loved makes my son my hero. It was amazing to get praise from my hero.
Thank you Dr. Laura for helping me do the right thing!
Sincerely,
G., a Grateful Mommy!
Staff
2010-08-10T03:15:38Z
Advice I Gave To My Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Advice-I-Gave-To-My-Mom/7879.html
2010-08-09T09:25:07Z
2010-08-09T09:25:07Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura:
I have been listening to you since 1996. I am happy to say that I've been married to my husband for 17 years and we are proud of our marriage. We hold our marriage and our children on a pedestal - because we believe we're doing a great job. Everyone comments on what a wonderful family we are. We've had our share of ups and downs - financial and emotional and we believe it has made us stronger and stronger still. We look at any problem as a task that we would have to accomplish just like anything else. So, enough of what a wonderful life - this is what I wanted to email you about.
They are on a "bucket list" vacation and he is talking about getting married for tax purposes. Cheaper on him but doesn't work for my mom. She may lose out on her social security benefits. She was upset because this marriage may mean a loss of income for her and it's all about money. I calmly said to her and this is a turning point for me - "Mom I want you to walk up to him and put your arms around him. Kiss him softly and say I love you and I'm so happy that we are together again. I never want to lose you. Let's agree that when we return home we will see a CPA and discuss whether marriage is what we should do for financial reasons and if it is we'll fly to Reno where our grandchildren can see us get married. Right now I just want to enjoy every minute of this vacation with you and then kiss him again and see where it goes."
I hope you appreciate that advice - my therapist was very happy with what I said. What I can tell you is my mom was shocked that I said that and didn't feed into what a jerk he is!!!
They are back from vacation and will be going to see a CPA soon.
Thanks for always being there Dr. Laura - I appreciate you and after years of listening gave my mom some good advice. I keep telling her to listen to you.
Have a great day!
J.
Staff
2010-08-09T09:25:07Z
Looking Cute for your Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Looking-Cute-for-your-Husband/7880.html
2010-06-23T04:30:27Z
2010-06-23T04:30:27Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>A recent caller was concerned about being depressed or disinterested in her life/marriage. She had three young children and was tired all the time. In lieu of going to a psychiatrist who would order a complete physical to rule out problems, you also suggested she first try changing her attitude. One way would be to "look cute" for her husband at the end of the day. The caller, to me, seemed a bit resistant to the idea. I hope she is listening, if you read my email on the air. My mother had nine children, six of which were within eleven years. Talk about total chaos and exhaustion! Somehow, some way, my mom managed to put her hair in rollers (way back then) and put makeup on before my dad came home from his exhausting day. Believe it or not, dinner was always on the table by 6:00 p.m. My mom had a good career before she married my dad. I can't help wondering if, on the craziest of days in our household, she ever felt like giving up. I will never know because my mom never let her frustration filter down to us. She wasn't the best housekeeper and my dad never complained. It was a win-win situation for all and, I believe, it stemmed from the attitude projected by my mom. I hope your caller tries to adjust and calls you back with an update.
Louise
Staff
2010-06-23T04:30:27Z
Love Is My Motivation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Love-Is-My-Motivation/7881.html
2010-06-23T04:28:59Z
2010-06-23T04:28:59Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dr. Laura -
Recently, you finished a call with a mother of 3 who didn't feel motivated. You responded to her about farmers having to go out in the rain and that they didn't have the luxury to feel "motivated" to take care of their farms and children.
I laughed because I have 16 goats and 2 dogs. They are all my beloved pets more than "workers". When the weather is bad their only source of food is me.
It has rained and snowed here just about every day for months. It often just happens to start raining when I have to go out to feed. Last Thursday it started pelting rain at 4pm.
I prayed that the rain would stop, but it rained harder. Poor little faces stared out of the barn door, with hungry tummies looking expectantly at me. I knew I had to feed them.
I put my big boots on, went out and got my feed cart and filled it, covering it with a tarp to keep the rain out and hauling it down the hill. I then went back to the shed and filled the cart again with dry hay and straw to line the barn and to finish their dinners.
But I wasn't finished and neither was God and the rain. It has rained so much that the ground is saturated. We have had to dig trenches to divert water away from the barn wall. My trenches had collapsed so I shoveled heavy, wet shovel loads away from the barn, still in the pouring rain, with little goat and dog faces watching me intently and making me laugh. After 3 hours of feeding, dispensing food and shoveling smelly stuff, I was finished and so was the rain! The rain stopped the minute I tossed my last shovel full.
My poor husband arrived home during my process after he had an exhausting 12 hour day working at an Alzheimer's facility. I was just grateful that he had arrived home from his long commute and he now was home with me.
I am grateful that at 60 God has blessed me with a strong body in order to care for my little farm. He has given me so much love, that it is a small trade off to spend hours dealing with rain and snow to care for those I love.
My bottom line is that day after day of rain and hauling food to the animals in the rain, I am dripping all the time, the hay gets wet and sticks to my jacket. I don't look forward to going out to feed. But I am so in love with my husband and my life and my animals that well.......love is my motivation.
Kathleen
Staff
2010-06-23T04:28:59Z
Whining. Whining. Whining.
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Whining.-Whining.-Whining./7882.html
2010-06-23T04:16:53Z
2010-06-23T04:16:53Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Good Morning Dr. Laura,
Well, ya did it again! You saved me from being a royal B****. Yesterday, while I was on my way to pick up my grandson again from school, something I do daily (best job I've ever had), you had a caller complaining that after only 4 1/2 yrs of marriage she didn't believe her and her spouse had the same "values" any longer. You broke it all down to her and finally told her she was just "whining". (You crack me up). She really couldn't pin-point what was so horribly wrong with this man other than the fact she couldn't mold him into something she wanted. When you told her she was whining like most American woman do (me included)....well, I just about drove off the road!!! I yelled "OMG!!!"
But you are right. Right, right, right!!!!!! Little did you even know but I was having a bad day yesterday (tears involved, 'self-pity' tears mind you) but I HEARD you Dr. Laura, I heard you. But more important: I listened.
If I didn't know better I would swear that caller was me yesterday, with the mood I was in. Although, I have never had anything I needed to call about. (Thank the Lord and my hubby too for that).
And thanks to you, my husband will never have to know how horrible I was feeling, because frankly it was all a bunch of whining! And 'self pity' is so UN-attractive.
Thanks.....I have to admit though that I only listen to you when in my car but wow, those few minutes have changed my mood on many occasions. Sometimes I yell back at you too. :-)
Thanks, have a great day.
D.
P.S.: the guy before that caller who was working 70+ hrs and thought he needed to see a therapist, well....I do hope he slows down. You have to be good to yourself before you can be good to anyone else.
Staff
2010-06-23T04:16:53Z
Keeping Hubby Happy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-Hubby-Happy/7883.html
2010-06-23T04:15:33Z
2010-06-23T04:15:33Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>I am a 35 year old mother and wife and my husband is 55. We have been married 9 years and for most of that I was a nagging, unloving selfish woman. It was my way or the highway. I have been changing that and let me tell you there is a HUGE difference in our marriage. I have an autoimmune disorder, two children at home, I suffer from anxiety and I just found out I'm pregnant. So to those ladies who think they are overwhelmed, or they are too tired for sex you are wrong. It takes less time for me to hug my husband when he gets home than it does to start bitching about my day. It takes less effort for me to smile at him across the table than it does for me to complain about the amount of work I do. It takes a lot less time for me to start it up in the bedroom than it does for me to just fall asleep (and I sleep better afterwards too). And in return I get coffee in bed, a good morning hug, yard work done, garbage out, my bath run for me. It pains me to think of the years my husband stuck by me out of love when he could have easily walked away while he was waiting for me to be the kind of woman he wanted. Our marriage has done a 360 and we have your books to thank for part of it. We both read "The Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage so thank you for giving us your advice. And for letting me see just how wonderful a respected well loved man can treat his wife.
L.
Staff
2010-06-23T04:15:33Z
...did you forget...YOU are the Dad?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/...did-you-forget...YOU-are-the-Dad/7884.html
2010-06-18T03:44:50Z
2010-06-18T03:44:50Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Annika was playing "mom and dad" with Dominic (kindergarten neighbor boy) and he gets out of the little tike car, pushes it toward her and says "you need to go to work, you turn 'dult and you should have a job!" Annika, who had been calling him "honey", gave him a bewildered look and said "Dominic, did you forget YOU are the Dad?".
M.
Staff
2010-06-18T03:44:50Z
Being a Part of Doing the Right Thing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-a-Part-of-Doing-the-Right-Thing/7885.html
2010-06-18T03:30:32Z
2010-06-18T03:30:32Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Hi Dr. Laura,
I spoke with you about attending court with my father at my cousin's prosecution for robbery, and I want to thank you for your wisdom and help which you shared with me. I have listened to you since age 6 with my mother, and I felt I needed your reassurance when the closest people in my life, including my mother, were discouraging my supporting my dad.
I spoke to my father, mother, and brothers last night and revealed to them my phone call with you and what you said. I reminded them Dad was doing the right thing and being concerned with political correctness, even if it is family we are going against, even if creating a permanent division with them is what supporting Dad means, it is ultimately the right thing to do and I wanted to be a part of doing the right thing. Good news now the whole family is going with my Dad to court to support his decision!
Thank you for helping to bring my family together and for helping me strive to be the best person I can be every day.
G.
Staff
2010-06-18T03:30:32Z
What Matters Most Is Never Easy...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Matters-Most-Is-Never-Easy.../7886.html
2010-06-18T03:21:13Z
2010-06-18T03:21:13Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Years ago, I called you, saying I was debating moving about 5 hours drive away from my elderly mother, to an area with far more sunshine (I get depressed from the cloudy weather where I live).
You reminded me that I had an obligation to continue visiting my mother and helping her out with various chores, regardless of my individual preferences.
Long story short-I stayed, and continued seeing my mom regularly, and I am so glad that I did.
Because I remained in the same city where she lived, I was there for her:
when she fell and was hospitalized
when she needed to leave her beloved home and live in a nursing home
when she was dying… and it was an honor to wipe her brow, add moisture to her dry mouth, smile and tell her we loved her, that God, and her parents and favorite sister were waiting for her in heaven.
This woman was there for me when I was a child, throwing up all night, to put a cold cloth on my forehead, smile, tell me stories.
I will be lucky if I can become anything like her in my future life.
Thank you for reminding me that what matters most is never easy, but always worth it.
Bless you,
Louise
Staff
2010-06-18T03:21:13Z
I'm Not Overwhelmed and Here's Why
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Not-Overwhelmed-and-Heres-Why/7887.html
2010-06-18T02:57:34Z
2010-06-18T02:57:34Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
I had to step back when I heard the caller whose wife was feeling overwhelmed staying at home with their two children. I am a proud Navy wife who lives overseas and just gave birth to my fourth kiddo while my husband was deployed. I am NOT overwhelmed. I find nothing more enjoyable than being crazed with a newborn nursing, a toddler on one foot, an inquisitive seven year old on the other and a very girly girl five year old on my back. My house is the envy of every tornado and while I know I have clean socks somewhere, it may take a few hours to find them. But no, I am not overwhelmed.
My husband is gone months at a time and when he IS home usually gets home well after dinner time. I am not overwhelmed, and here's why: I have FUN with my kids. We play, we sleep in sleeping bags and have camp-ins, we finger paint, we have breakfast for dinner nights, we play like nothing else and once I found the secret to what a stay at home mom REALLY does, I was no longer overwhelmed. I think the caller's wife needs to go back to just having fun with her kids. I know my husband is THRILLED to come to a messy house with happy kids than a clean house with a stressed out, tense wife. I bet if she got a little crazy and enjoyed her two kids, she would lose the "being overwhelmed" and be more relaxed. (This benefits her husband, too, since the playing continues with the hubby once the kids are asleep!)
Thank you for all you do, even thousands of miles away I listen to you and nod my head often saying "Yep, she got it right."
A proud warrior-sailor's wife!
Staff
2010-06-18T02:57:34Z
As It Should Be!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/As-It-Should-Be!/7888.html
2010-06-18T02:43:47Z
2010-06-18T02:43:47Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
I want to thank you for all you do to encourage moms to stay at home with their children. I live in a neighborhood where staying at home with your children is actually the norm, and I have to say that this is how it should be! We moms feel a religious and moral obligation to raise our own children. We take them to the park, to the library, and on walks around the neighborhood. We share ideas with each other on how to teach them to read, do chores, and not behave like wild animals. After the birth of my 4th child, the other moms brought meals in. One mom called and asked to have my 4 year old over for an hour or two so I could take a nap while my 2 year old and newborn were sleeping! We help each other with the challenges of being stay-at-home moms, and find sanity in sharing our failures and successes.
Dr. Laura, our homes are older and humble. We sit on hand-me-down couches. There are no flat screen T.V.'s, exotic vacations, or elaborate birthday parties with store-bought cakes and hired clowns . . . and yet, we're happy.
We have moments of wanting more, of wondering why we spent all those years earning college degrees, of feeling like underappreciated maids. But then we look into our children's faces and know we could never turn the raising of them over to a stranger.
If more families were willing to sacrifice to have the mother stay at home with her children, people everywhere would discover that priceless feeling of things being exactly as they should be!
M.
Staff
2010-06-18T02:43:47Z
What A Good Marriage Can Do
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-A-Good-Marriage-Can-Do/7889.html
2010-06-18T02:33:24Z
2010-06-18T02:33:24Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dear Dr. Laura,
I was driving my son in the car today going to ToysRus for birthday gifts and we were having a talk. My son (9 years old) started telling me that Daddy and I have a great relationship. I asked him what he meant. He stated that we never fight or get mad at each other and we enjoy each other's company. I then asked him if this is important and he said yes, because we will not get divorced. He has a few friends going through divorces. I then asked if divorce was good or bad. He said it is very sad and that it hurts kids... He then asked how I meet daddy, what was he like when we met, were we always friends, when I knew I loved him, etc.
My wonderful husband always makes me feel special and puts me and the kids before him. I am his girlfriend and he is my boyfriend. We have two wonderful kids who do not understand why people can not get along for their kids. I wrote you around Christmas time to tell you how wonderful our daughter was - the Girl Scout with the homeless sock project. Having my husband and myself working to raise our kids together has proven again to be priceless. I feel that my son is learning by example to respect and love each other. This will pay off in his future. He tells us he can not wait to be a good father and husband, just like his Daddy... and of course marry someone just like mommy. I am proud to say I am a mom, wife and girlfriend....
Anne
Staff
2010-06-18T02:33:24Z
So Proud Of My Non-working Ovaries!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/So-Proud-Of-My-Non-working-Ovaries!/7890.html
2010-06-09T05:11:04Z
2010-06-09T05:11:04Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>I'm doing some housework while listening to some older broadcasts of your show on my spiffy little IPOD shuffle...I just heard a woman call in who was 39 and desperate to have a baby and although years of fertility were obviously not working she just couldn't bring herself to look into adoption because it wouldn't be HER baby!!
Wow! I was such a woman myself a few years ago... I just HAD to have my own DNA and after 12 years of infertility just stubbornly refused to look at any other options! WELL thank God for a very loving and patient husband who didn't push me into anything but gently led the way to us "lookin" into an adoption option...long story short just FOUR shorts month of signing up with an agency we got the call, with no notice ,that our beautiful, healthy, simply adorable baby boy was born ! The drive to the hospital was overwhelming...I think we must have stopped a dozen times to use the restroom because I was so nervous! The moment I saw my tiny newborn son I was INSTANTLY in love! DNA..WHO CARES. The moment I held him in my arms all the years of turmoil and struggle were GONE!! A few weeks later our closed adoption was final (thanks to an amazing birthmother who wanted the best for her child!) and ten months later I am the proud mommy of this amazing blond haired blue eyed gift from GOD! This once stubborn "I-need-my-own-baby" now knows I DO have my own baby and I would walk across broken glass a hundred times a day just to kiss his sweet chubby little cheeks!
So to all the women out there with fertility issues...it SUCKS, I know, I was there...but don't wallow in your misery and refuse to look at other paths that God may have for you! I did and My life will NEVER be the same!! I shutter to think what I could have missed out on! Funny enough I am now kinda proud of my non working ovaries, they brought me the greatest blessing that my wonderful husband (aka-the world's best daddy!) and I could ever dream of!
K.
Staff
2010-06-09T05:11:04Z
A Future Listener
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Future-Listener/7891.html
2010-06-09T05:07:27Z
2010-06-09T05:07:27Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>I have been listening to you for a little over a year. You are usually on the radio as I am picking up my seven year old daughter. I often turn the radio off once she gets in the car unless you are in the middle of an answer. As I picked her up from school today and asked how her day went, she sat quietly for a bit and said "Mommy can I use your phone?" I asked why... Her response was, I had a problem today at school and I want to ask Dr. Laura what to do.
I just thought it would put a smile on your face to here that you have a future listener that may call you a few years down the road....
S.
Staff
2010-06-09T05:07:27Z
Choosing To Be Thin
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Choosing-To-Be-Thin/7892.html
2010-06-09T05:01:09Z
2010-06-09T05:01:09Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Hi Dr. Laura,
After first listening to you about a two years ago, I took your sage advice and started my trek toward being thin and healthy. I was so fat the Army wouldn't take me. It took me 1 and 1/2 years before any noticeable change occurred but I am now 100lbs lighter.
I am a fat man in a thin man's body and it would literally take me no more than a week to go back to me old body shape and size (I know, I've tested it)
I'd just like to say that you are right, it is a choice but not an easy one I could've quit after a month of no change, I could've quit after six months with no change, but my choice had been made and there was no exercise (plan) to quit or diet to stop (trying). I made a decision to change my everyday life and it SLOOOOWLY happened. So to all of the diet quitters out there I say, "stay off t he diet," it won't help you. Instead, choose to eat and live a different way.
I run seven miles a day and suck up the terrible knee pain I have from an old football injury so I can be thin only to have to women at work complain to me their diets, that include no physical activity whatsoever, have failed them. I thoroughly enjoy giving them a reality check (maybe a little too much)
Thank you for your inspiring insight
(please exclude my real name)
Staff
2010-06-09T05:01:09Z
Poem: The Dr. Laura Program
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Poem:-The-Dr.-Laura-Program/7893.html
2010-06-09T04:55:08Z
2010-06-09T04:55:08Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>I have been listening a lot lately and some days the callers are even frustrating to me! So I came up with this little poem, I hope you think it's cute! Keep nagging!
When calling the Dr. Laura show,
here are some things that you should know.
Don't say your kids are "cute" and "smart",
or the call will be doomed from the start.
Rather tell her they are hardworking and true,
this will make the call smoother for you.
Speak up, speak clear, don't whine or cry
or Dr. Laura may just pass you by!
Answer her questions, be brief, concise,
and get to YOUR question, now that would be nice!
Don't say "I just...", "I feel...", or "I can't!"
You'll have Dr. Laura ready to rant.
And phrases beginning with "even if" or "I'll try"
will have the good Dr. fit to be tied!
No shack-ups, weenies, or momma's boys.
A true alpha male is what brings you joy.
Choose wisely, treat kindly, be sweet and be fun.
Take her directions and get the job done!
Be happy, feel blessed, be morally strong,
eat less, move more, and admit when you're wrong!
Try hard to listen, and take the advice,
and talking when she does is really not nice!
Honor your parents, protect your peeps.
Steer clear of druggies, losers, and creeps!
Don't fight with you man, be his girlfriend instead.
Be sweet and affectionate and keep him well fed.
Take care of your kids- stay home if you can.
Take pride in your home and your happy man.
When life brings you stress dance and sing,
and finally, go out and "DO THE RIGHT THING!"
Thanks!
Alice
Staff
2010-06-09T04:55:08Z
Inner Peace
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Inner-Peace/7894.html
2010-06-09T04:48:48Z
2010-06-09T04:48:48Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment ,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
Then You Are Probably...
The Family Dog!
Staff
2010-06-09T04:48:48Z
Raising A Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-A-Man/7895.html
2010-06-09T04:07:16Z
2010-06-09T04:07:16Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>I pod cast your program so I'm usually a little bit behind. I wanted to respond to a few of your calls where you lament over the loss of real fathers. I certainly recognize the importance of a man in raising a man. However, as you so often mention: a woman can make a big difference in helping to raise a man and not a boy.
I have 1 boy and 4 girls and I wanted to tell you about our family's experience when my daughters started dating. Now, I am a Vietnam era warrior and still play a role in law enforcement. However, I often feel I'm part of the lost generation when it comes to some of the basic values in life.
My children have grown up listening to you on the radio and I'm happy to say we haven't ever had the need to call you for advice. This is a story of when my middle daughter was starting to date in high school. She is currently getting ready to graduate from college this year and still listens to your program on her ipod.
When she was in high school and brought her first boy friend home in order to ask for permission to go to the movies, I had an interesting conversation with him. I looked him in the eye and stated. "Now, David, I don't want you doing anything to her that you don't want me doing to you." My daughter was obviously embarrassed and immediately yelled "Oh Dad that's gross! Mom did you hear what Daddy said?" My wife without skipping a beat looked at my daughter and said, "Now dear, you know your father, he might just do it. Now go have a nice time and be home by 10"
This became a ritual with anyone who came to the door to take my daughters out so they often warned the boys in advance. When Eric showed up to take my daughter to the movies he got the same routine. When he walked her to the door after returning from the movies I said, "Now, Eric I don't have to kiss you, do I?" Eric looked me in the eye and said, "Only if you want to Mr. G." We all broke up laughing and to this day I have a soft spot for Eric. It takes a man to raise a man and some of the old rituals are effective and needed for a reason. It also takes a woman who has high expectations to help the boy grow into a man. If you want a man who will walk across broken glass for you, then you better expect honorable behavior from him. My daughters grew up knowing what was expected of them and knowing it was their responsibility to have high expectations of those they called friends.
There are so many life lessons we have learned from listening to your program that I couldn't begin to list them. We appreciate your humor and your common sense.
Thank you,
Mr G.
Staff
2010-06-09T04:07:16Z
Part-time vs. Full-time Working Moms
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Part-time-vs.-Full-time-Working-Moms/7896.html
2010-06-09T03:36:07Z
2010-06-09T03:36:07Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dr. Laura,
I just read an article in USA Today that I think you will find very entertaining and I'd get a kick out of hearing your assessment of it.
The article is entitled "Moms, Part-Time Work is Overrated" by Laura Vanderkam. The gist of the article is that you might as well work full-time because you don't really spend much more valuable time with your kids if you work part-time and you're giving up a lot of money and clout. It even states that it is "worrying that so many Moms . . . think part-time work is a great idea." To me, it's yet another disheartening article that ignores the importance of simply being available for your children. As my 8-yr-old's Mother's Day note said, among other things, I make her feel safe. I think that's almost entirely because I am available to her as much as I am.
I'm a stay-at-home mom and have been for 5 years. Prior to staying home I worked full-time as a lawyer and received a good level of job-satisfaction from my job. However, when we decided to move for my husband's job I decided it was time to stay-at-home, for my kids' sake. I had a very hard time giving up my career track and the sense of accomplishment that came from my job. I was also very fearful I would just plain stink at being at home with my kids. But, it turns out it was the kick-in-the pants I needed and I'm so glad for my children that I've done it.
Nonetheless, I'm not always steadfast in my own sense of accomplishments in staying home. I've experienced plenty of eyes glazing over when I say I'm a stay-at-home mom and had many similar forms of dismissal which are so disheartening. When I recently felt very down about it, I decided to look for some insight on the topic and got your book, In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms. It's a very interesting book and really supports all that, in my heart, I know to be true. I just wish the world did the same.
I think the most difficult thing for us stay-at-home moms, and for everyone doing any related analysis, is the benefits to children are so intangible and, as a result, so immeasurable; whereas, money is so easily measured. People, like me, would really like a quick way to establish that they are valuable and, well, being a stay-at-home mom unfortunately doesn't pull that kind of clout today. When did we decide to so undervalue our children? Why do we think we can throw money at them and they will be fine? To me, this is yet another article by someone that is oblivious and hurting a lot of people as a result.
Sincerely,
Robyn
Staff
2010-06-09T03:36:07Z
5 de Mayo Commentary
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/5-de-Mayo-Commentary/7897.html
2010-05-21T06:26:28Z
2010-05-21T06:26:28Z
<img alt="Icon" class="blog-icon-large" src="/images/Site/Icons/150x150/email_otd.jpg"/>Dr. Laura,
Thank you for speaking about these jerks that don't want to see T shirts with the Greatest American flag worn by somebody else in the 5 de mayo celebrations. I'll say pack your bags and go back to Mexico. I fly the American flag in front of my house 24 hours a day and proud to do that, inside my house you will see almost everything patriotic, the flag is in one corner of my living room, I Love U.S.A and I was born in El Salvador; my vehicle is painted like the flag. That is why when I read the news on the internet I was so mad, and I told my wife look at these jerks what they doing, and she got mad too, and she was born in Mexico City. We love The United States, and are proud to be Americans.
We love you, Dr. Laura, and may God bless you always.
Caesar
Staff
2010-05-21T06:26:28Z