When the silent treatment is being used as a punitive measure, then it is not productive. However, what someone might perceive as the silent treatment could, instead, be a loud and clear message that I am done. Just done.

Such was the case this summer, when my adult daughter crossed the line from yelling to physical violence. She blames, denies, and justifies 'til the cows come home; nothing is ever her fault. There might be a half-hearted apology, coupled with some line about her medication. In my view, it's a character issue. Long story short, when it gets to the point where ANYTHING I say is distorted, then it's safest to just quit talking. If I didn't have grandkids that I want to see, I would have ejected her from my life a long time ago. So, I stay close, but not too close. I love her because she's my daughter, but I don't like her at all. That's how I choose to use the silent treatment. Sometimes, it's just necessary.


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