Enabler or Helping Hand?
October 21, 2015
Enabler or Helping Hand?

Morning Dr. Laura,

I think there is a very subtle difference between being a helping hand and enabling. So subtle that sometimes people do not understand the difference. In my mind, helping someone out of a one-time situation is helping. Enabling is if they come back for help again. Once is helping, twice or more is enabling.

One time my brother called me in tears. He had gotten himself in a situation financially and went to one of those payday loan places. You know the type, where they charge 400% interest. He was unable to make to payback the amount borrowed and he needed help. I am not in the habit of helping people in this type of situation, but this time I did. I just had a feeling. In my mind, I didn't count on getting the money back. I was willing to gift him the money. I thought of it as a loan, thinking I would never see the money again.

I was pleasantly surprised to receive monthly payments back from him for the total amount! In fact, it made me feel good about our relationship that he took care of his business in a mature way.

Thanks for all you do!

Aaron



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Posted by Staff at 10:57 AM