One of the biggest causes of marital problems is that people ask what their marriage can do for them and not what they can do for their marriage. Here are eight things you can do to make your marriage better:

1. Don’t dwell on your spouse’s shortcomings.  If you focus in on what’s bad about your spouse instead of their positive qualities, your marriage will suffer. 
2. Make your spouse feel needed.  Ask them for help. Even if it’s something you can handle yourself, it makes your husband or wife feel good.
3. Smile when your spouse walks into the room. It lets them know you are happy to see them.
4. Discover new places and experiences together. It builds togetherness.
5. Work on yourself. Developing your own interests or learning new skills makes you more interesting and attractive to your spouse. 
6. Have an evening ritual. For example, at 5 o’clock the wine comes out and your feet go up.  
7. Engage in physical contact outside the bedroom. You can tell a happily married couple from 50 feet away – their body language says it all. Hold hands while you walk together, or snuggle together in front of the TV.
8. Send your spouse a text. How much sway do you think any of the women at your husband’s work will have if you send him a message saying that you miss the smell of his neck when he leans in for a kiss? Or what mom won’t have a better day with the kids when she gets a text from her husband saying, “You are the softest, sweetest, most adorable woman I could ever imagine.”?

The recipe for a perfect marriage is simple: choose wisely – treat kindly. And as you can see, treating kindly isn’t all that hard.