October 27, 2014
Consider Your Spouse More Than Yourself


Hello, Dr. Laura. 

An article caught my eye the other day this doesn't happen often, since I'm rarely looking for news and it was entitled: Marriage in America: The new merry-go-round. 

The article itself wasn't actually what inspired me to write. There was a user comment which really which resonated with me so much I have to copied it below. The user never even mentions religion or God directly, interestingly enough, but very eloquently talks about covenants and morality. 

Here is "guest-snninoj"'s comment: 

"I find this article a bit bizarre, maybe I am the only one who noticed that it began by talking about marriage, and ended by supporting abortifacients. 

It is a sad state I think, for it accurately portrays a very shallow understanding of marriage, though I have not come to expect much more from our culture. The author is taking the view that marriage is an economic or educational standard. The truth is and I challenge you to find a single case where I am mistaken that every divorce happens for one reason, and one reason alone. At least one of the couple is thinking more about themselves than they are about their spouse. 

Many may find it a terrifying prospect to look at marriage beyond simple buy-sell principles. People who enter marriage with the idea that they are trying to "get" something, "achieve" something, will find that their marriage is nothing more than a contract. If I get X, I am willing to give Y. If I do not get X, I will not give Y. Marriage at its core is a covenant, not a contract. The difference? A covenant defines who you are. You cannot break a covenant without destroying your identity. 

I love my wife, and there are days she drives me up the wall. I made a covenant promise to always stand by her, and she by me. I do not engage her with the thought of what I can get out of her, but what I can give to her. If she fails to give to me, well, my focus isn't on me, and while it may hurt, the essence of who I am is dependent on me giving to her, not getting from her. Thus my core is unshaken; my marriage is unshaken by failings of my wife, because I am concerned with what I give. She is also concerned with what she gives. As long as we maintain that covenant of ourselves, the marriage will always be strong."

  

I have no idea what, if anything, you'll do with this comment, but I loved it and that's pretty much it! 

Take care!  

Timothy

 

Posted by Staff at 10:58 AM