November 3, 2014
My Own Fault That I Was Blind


I waited to marry. I thought I chose wisely. I treated kindly.  We even went to pre-marital counseling. She wanted a career, I wanted a family. Looking back, I should have seen the signs. I thought she would change with a child, but...no. I became a stay-at-home father while still trying to maintain a modest business. And I did, just as many women do, all without the help of my wife. 

I am devastated by the fact nothing I have done is regarded as 'supportive' by her. Not the managing of the myriad of caretakers for her terminally-ill parents when they moved in with us, not when I buried them both, not when I assisted in growing her company, not when our child attained the highest of national awards in scholastic achievement because of my home tutoring. I take my son to school every day, cook three meals a day for him, pray for him, pay for school, lessons, clothing, video games, movies...whatever. 

Once my wife reached the level of success she wanted, I was no longer useful. She had an affair. She confessed. I forgave her. Then, she filed for divorce. And although I've done all I have, the courts don't understand. They only see it one way - the mother has the upper hand and gets whatever visitation SHE requests, and my expensive, reputable attorneys can't help. I am trying to keep a positive attitude, and have made plans for the future, but the debt she has acquired in growing her business has crippled me. I have no vices, I am not abusive, I do not use drugs, but I'm still losing my son. She doesn't care nor do the courts about 'Community Property' or an 'Equitable Settlement'. She has a trust fund, to boot. I can't even rent, nor buy a house. A double-whammy. I lose everything, including my son. 

I know that someday in the future, he will see what happened, and the real love I've shown him will bring him back. 

Dr. Laura, please tell men to 'grow a pair'. If you want to marry a woman, and she wants only a career, STOP! Don't marry her! It is my experience, and my opinion that, if, as a man, you ever give up your 'power', you will never get it back. To quote an old adage, "Respect, once broken, never well mended"!  I admit it, I was blind. My own fault, but I'm not going to let it destroy me - I promise you, Dr. Laura...if only to call you someday and tell you of my 'overcoming'. I look forward to that day! 

Robert 


Posted by Staff at 10:59 AM