August 19, 2015
Being a Good Wife


Hello Dr. Laura, 

I'm so tired of not being able to have a conversation with other women about wives treating their husbands well without women immediately commenting that it "works both ways". Every time I see something on Facebook or get involved in a discussion about things a wife needs to remember about looking after her man, there are comments and chuckles about women needing things too and that if men were better at meeting their needs, wives would be nicer, sweeter etc. They are so selfish and childish and feel the need to be defensive all the time. I'm sick of it because they just don't get it. Obviously there needs to be mutual care and attention, but that doesn't make statements about what men need from women some kind of joke to be laughed at. And that's what women do, they laugh at men's needs. 

My dear sweet and wonderful husband was in a serious car accident, leaving him severely brain injured and physically disabled. After 2 years of being in one hospital after another, one rehab program after another, hopes being raised of getting him home where I could take care of him and then the same hopes crushed, we finally had to put him into a long term care home.  When I had finally accepted we had to live apart, he passed away and now I've lost him forever. We were married 29 years and my heart is so broken. 

Everything you tell women is true. The men aren't the ones complaining. My husband never complained, even when I wasn't a sweet wife. I followed your advice many years ago, read your books, changed my attitude and it DID make difference. I focused on just loving him and doing everything I could to make him happy and IT MADE ME HAPPY too. Now he's gone and I would give anything to be able to hold him again, to cook his supper, wash his clothes, or meet him at the door after work. No one else seems to get this, but you. And I'm tired and sad our world is so screwed up and women are so taken with themselves they can't even shut up long enough to listen to a suggestion because their first response has to be "it goes both ways." I give up. But I'm glad you don't give up because for all the women who ignore your advice, there are lots like me who take it. Thank you for not being afraid to tell women they are WRONG. 

Ann


Posted by Staff at 10:59 AM