Letters From Listeners
Blog's for January, 2020
http://www.DrLaura.com
Dr. Laura
2024-03-28T12:56:05Z
2024-03-28T12:56:05Z
Dr. Laura
He Looked Good On Paper
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Looked-Good-On-Paper/-73451883750632615.html
2020-01-06T09:59:00Z
2020-01-06T09:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I married my best friend 24 years ago, but I should not have. <br /><br />I've heard several callers ask if they should marry a wonderful man who they love, but are not attracted to; someone who "<em>looks good on paper</em>" as you once said. Tell them NOT to do it because they will never be lovers. Well, I made this mistake and I wish I'd had this advice. We should have just remained good friends. We get along fine, but the lack of real emotional and physical intimacy has been very difficult. <br /><br />Ladies, if you want a roommate and companion go ahead and marry him. If you want a man who is your lover, husband, and life partner in every way please please please do not make the mistake that I made. I will probably leave in a few years after our kids have left home because this is not what I want between now and dead. I wish I'd waited for the right man.</p>
Staff
2020-01-06T09:59:00Z
Raising Your Kids To Succeed In The REAL World
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-Your-Kids-To-Succeed-In-The-REAL-World/899402104536890626.html
2020-01-03T09:59:00Z
2020-01-03T09:59:00Z
<br />The point that parents miss a lot, is that they need to raise their kids to succeed in the REAL world.<br /><br />
<ul>
<li>When kids forget their homework on the kitchen table, let them live with the consequences. </li>
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<li>If they break a rule, let them bear the penalty. </li>
</ul>
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<li>When kids want to have more freedom, teach them what the true cost of it is. </li>
</ul>
<br />An "<em>F</em>" on a project that was late or incomplete can be devastating to a teenager, and you help them learn from it, profit by it, and cope. It is a lot easier than being fired at 25 for missing a deadline. <br /><br />We need to be more hands-on in what life requires of us, so our kids are successful adults. When they are in college, make sure that they are not failing and hiding it from you till it is too late. <br /><br />Teach them about real life.<br />
Staff
2020-01-03T09:59:00Z
A Lesson in Kindness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Lesson-in-Kindness/18832809615671986.html
2020-01-02T09:59:00Z
2020-01-02T09:59:00Z
<p><br />My 5-year-old grandson attends a Catholic school. His Mother came to pick him up and noticed a Dad was removing the pink polo type shirt his son had been dressed in that day. The little boy was crying.</p>
<p>My daughter in law asked, "<em>Mike, why are you crying</em>" and he responded the boys in the class had make fun of him for wearing the pink shirt. My daughter in law said, "<em>I hope my son was not one of those boys.</em>" Mike told her indeed he had made fun of Mike. My daughter in law then verified with the teacher what had happened and made her plan to teach my grandson a leason.</p>
<p>My grandson had his own pink polo shirt at home and my daughter in law made him wear it to school the next day. He also had to apologize to Mike and given him a big hug. My grandson also received some teasing about his pink shirt at school. Hopefully he learned a leason about kindness and not hurting the feelings of others.</p>
<p>Kathy </p>
Staff
2020-01-02T09:59:00Z
We Have A Responsibility
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Have-A-Responsibility/-750317900012982207.html
2019-12-18T09:59:00Z
2019-12-18T09:59:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><span><br />We absolutely have a responsibility in how we treat others. We should always try to treat others with kindness, love, forgiveness, and accountability. <br /><br />However, we are not ultimately responsible for another person's happiness. Happiness is a choice that comes from within, regardless of what others do or environmental factors in our lives.<br /><br />Julie<br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span><br /><br />How do you feel you affect the happiness of those closest to you? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-12-18T09:59:00Z
My Top Priority
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Top-Priority/184993211189876801.html
2019-12-17T09:59:00Z
2019-12-17T09:59:00Z
<br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />You helped me with a dilemma over 10 years ago and your advice is still helping me today. I gain so much confidence in myself as I continue to listen to you and read your books. <br /><br />I am a SAHM with 4 children. My husband and I have been married for over 10 years. I'm only 30, but make my role as wife and mother the top priority. My husband a real man. He provides, protects, loves and adores his family. <br /><br />Because of you, I put my husband and children first. Thank you for teaching me the importance of that! I'm forever grateful. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Karen<br />
Staff
2019-12-17T09:59:00Z
We Are Inspired
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Are-Inspired/-29298426812144852.html
2019-12-16T09:59:00Z
2019-12-16T09:59:00Z
<p><br />I just have to tell you....Thank you. I have listened for over 2 years now. I turned my husband into one of your biggest fans too. <br /><br />Please know that you inspire us and make us want to strive to be the best we can be. I am not a perfect wife. I am not a perfect mother. But through you, I know when I need to change my thinking or actions and ''<em>grow some balls</em>". You helped my husband and I learn to be boyfriend and girlfriend again. And it is amazing. <br /><br />I always think if someone was to say to me ''<em>you can pick whatever job you wish, so what will it be?</em>" I would without a doubt pick to work for you. Most would choose the job with the best pay or highest status. Nope, not me. How amazing would it be to actually work for someone you admire, respect, and strive to be like? <br /><br />You rock DrL. We love you!<br /><br />Take care, <br /><br />Krissy<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you and your husband treat each other? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-12-16T09:59:00Z
Teaching My Little Men To Choose Wisely And Treat Kindly
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teaching-My-Little-Men-To-Choose-Wisely-And-Treat-Kindly/-707722940793939854.html
2019-12-13T09:59:00Z
2019-12-13T09:59:00Z
<p><br />My littlest one is going to kindergarten next year and I want the growing to stop. I feel like I need to have more kids. I keep telling myself that since I already have 2 boys, I will just have to be the best mother-in-law instead. Like Dr. Laura. I will be easygoing. I will bring a dish to all the festivities and I will not demand to have the holidays at my home. <br /><br />I will just keep talking with my boys about choosing wisely and treating kindly. Cheers to Dr. Laura for helping me be a better Mommy and Wifey!!! <br /><br /><br /><br />Are your kids growing too fast? What will you miss the most about their childhood? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-12-13T09:59:00Z
I Needed to Find My Way
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Needed-to-Find-My-Way/261079670932439116.html
2019-12-12T09:59:00Z
2019-12-12T09:59:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I wanted to thank you for recently talking about how time does not heal. I went through this when my folks passed away and I thought there was something wrong with me. People would tell me that as time goes by it will get better, but it didn't. I finally realized that I needed to find a way to live without my parents.<br /><br />They have been gone for a while now and, at times, it still stings like it just happened yesterday. Hearing you talk about how time does not heal helped me a great deal. A lot of people care about you and are grateful for all you do, including me. <br /><br />Thanks again, <br /><br />Lorie<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a mental wound that just won' t heal? Tell us about it, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2019-12-12T09:59:00Z
Always Treat Kindly
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Always-Treat-Kindly/-614579350676930728.html
2019-12-11T09:59:00Z
2019-12-11T09:59:00Z
<p><br />Always treat each other kindly! We both can truly apologize to each other and I'm thankful for that. <br /><br />We wake up every day and workout together. We start our day by pushing each other, admiring one another for our dedication to our goals, and life together. I start my day off with my real live hero. I work hard to make him smile bigger every day! It's almost a selfish act to make him so happy because in return it's what makes the world turn for me. <br /><br />It works what you say Dr. Laura! I chose wisely and we treat each other kindly... the rest is really a wonderful daily job (but never feels like a job). <br /><br /><br /><br />How do you and your husband treat each other? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-12-11T09:59:00Z
Out of Sight, Out of Mind
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Out-of-Sight,-Out-of-Mind/703101071848901104.html
2019-12-10T09:59:00Z
2019-12-10T09:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />The little moments you can have with your child can't happen unless you are THERE all day, raising your children. My favorite moments were dinner around the table, talking about the highlights of our day, and then later watching my 3-year-old's face in awe as I blew bubbles with my gum. She love to pop them on my face. That one wasn't a big moment but it was a memorable one-- watching her stare at me like I was some sort of hero for being able to blow a big bubble and then hearing her sweet giggle when it popped. <br /><br />That wouldn't have happened if I was at work all day or came home too tired and frazzled to play silly games and pay attention to her. Thank you Dr. Laura for giving me the support to enjoy the gift that is our children's childhood. You make more of a difference than you'll ever know.<br /><br /> <br /><br />What is your favorite memory of your child? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-12-10T09:59:00Z
Becoming a Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Becoming-a-Mother/874434193857589693.html
2019-12-09T09:59:00Z
2019-12-09T09:59:00Z
<p><br />I have been blessed with the most amazing daughter a mother could hope for. I thank GOD every day for her presence and pray for her future. I grew up with very loving parents, but I never experienced unconditional love until I had my daughter. <br /><br />I think having the opportunity to raise and mold a child from infancy into adulthood is a gift that should not be taken for granted. It is a gift that should be cherished. It is the most important responsibility and privilege. <br /><br /><br /><br />How did becoming a parent make you feel? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-12-09T09:59:00Z
Family Is More Important
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Family-Is-More-Important/-667360368041097785.html
2019-12-06T09:59:00Z
2019-12-06T09:59:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I put together a small list of things that I won't have to worry about, because I am an avid and true listener. I thought you would get a kick out of this list. Enjoy!<br /><br /></p>
<ol>
<li>I won't have to worry about how much milk or how many bottles I send to daycare.</li>
<br />
<li>I won't have to stress about where to put my babies when they are "<em>too sick</em>" to go to daycare.</li>
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<li>I don't have to stress out about writing names on all of my babies' clothes and personal items.</li>
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<li>I don't have to stress out that my husband may be getting emotional support from a co-worker or friend because I AM not present to fulfill his needs at home.</li>
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<li>I won't ever have to accept the phrase "d<em>on't worry, just order dinner"</em> or "<em>don't worry--they'll just get used to it.</em>" </li>
</ol>
<p><br />I will never have to worry about all the failures that come with having a child that I cannot care for, because work was "<em>more important</em>". I just wanted to remind you that I am listening to all that you have to say and my life has totally changed because of it!<br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Amy<br /> <br /><br /><br />How has your life changed since listening to Dr. Laura? We'd like to know! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
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Staff
2019-12-06T09:59:00Z
How I Taught My Boys To Be Men
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Taught-My-Boys-To-Be-Men/87848542343230004.html
2019-12-05T09:59:00Z
2019-12-05T09:59:00Z
<p><br />I started my little men training when they were young. I had four boys and two girls. Since the boys came first, they learned to do dishes, household chores and babysitting! <br /><br />I understood they were still boys. As boys, sometimes things got done a little differently. When they were little they had dolls and figurines. Most of the time the dolls became passengers in a truck or victims of an attack. There is a difference in how they play. When my girls came along, they actually played house with the kitchen set we bought for the boys and mothered their "babies." <br /><br />The three who are married and have kids are awesome dads and help around the house. One of my sons, the burly one with the tattoos, was the stay at home parent for many years while his wife worked. He just lets them be boys and appreciate the fact that they are boys. He also teaches them respect for women by having them do some housework and cooking. Most importantly, to love them.<br /><br />My boys love their mom, but I do insist they love their wives more. I have always encouraged them to put their marriages first.<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have any tips for other parents? Send us an email and share! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-12-05T09:59:00Z
Predicting Lasting Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Predicting-Lasting-Love/-367139192024077094.html
2019-12-04T18:58:00Z
2019-12-04T18:58:00Z
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<p class="yiv2098228522msoplaintext">Decades of observation has led me to believe a wife's reaction to her husband to be the best predictor of lasting love. A woman who makes sour faces when her husband is nearby or when her husband is talking, or who mocks him especially in public, reveals the disdain that will likely end the marriage. Likewise, a woman whose face lights up around her husband, who shows some pride in him when he talks in groups, and who is playful with him, is indicating the proper attitude to sustain the marriage. It is not politically correct to say, but most marriages really do succeed or fail on the wife's desire for them to either succeed or fail. That is not to say that men never mess up their marriages, it is to say that in general wives have far more influence and control over the connection they share.</p>
<p class="yiv2098228522msoplaintext">I emphasize wife, not woman. This dynamic does not hold in dating. An old saying is if you want to test a person's strength, give them adversity. To test their character, give them power. Marriage affords women great power over their husbands, even long after a marriage ends, power they do not have when they are trying to persuade the man to walk down the aisle. How women use this power reveals a great deal about the destiny of the relationship. If their tactic shifts from persuasion to dismissiveness or bullying, the destiny is bleak.</p>
<p class="yiv2098228522msoplaintext">Jay</p>
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Staff
2019-12-04T18:58:00Z
Thank you For Your Constant Advice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-you-For-Your-Constant-Advice/-815707337997998252.html
2019-12-03T18:58:00Z
2019-12-03T18:58:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br />Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I am now a 29-year-old man, but I remember listening to your program as I sat in the back of my mom's Jeep in my car seat. I am now a Sirius subscriber and enjoy listening to you every day as I drive during work. <br /><br />I want to thank you for your constant advice that you give to so many of us. You have enlightened me many times with regards to family and my relationships as I navigate the dating world. You have, without a doubt, helped me find the woman I will marry soon (Wedding invitation to follow - at least I can say I invited THE Dr. Laura). <br /><br /><span>You do so much for so many. You are undoubtedly a guiding light in the world we live in.</span><br /><br />Thanks again<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2019-12-03T18:58:00Z
Words I'm Living By
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Words-Im-Living-By/-396908260243876175.html
2019-12-02T18:58:00Z
2019-12-02T18:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />A call that stayed with me was from a woman who had been a runner. While training, she fell in the street, causing her so much emotional pain she no longer has the motivation to run. Not in these exact words, you told her that her fear of running is not because of the fall, but rather it has become an excuse. Prior to that fall, she believed she could beat her best time. Now she can say, "<em>IF I were running again, I could totally beat my best time.</em>" That alleviates the pressure of actually having to fulfill that promise. I think your advice was absolutely correct and spot on. <br /><br />I'm finding myself thinking of that call often and how what I say or do impacts things in my life. Am I not doing an activity because I really can't or because it's easier to think "<em>What If?!</em>" I just wanted to say that your words resonated with me and I appreciate your advice often. Thank you for all that you do. <br /><br />Sarah <br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
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Staff
2019-12-02T18:58:00Z
We Are All Made From Little Pieces
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Are-All-Made-From-Little-Pieces/-171674682829581849.html
2019-11-27T18:58:00Z
2019-11-27T18:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><span><br />Today I was listening when you were talking about your glass and silver art. You mentioned that you just can't throw away the pieces of glass left over after making an item. <br /><br />I love and collect cobalt blue glass. I have fruit, perfume bottles, vases, etc. - probably 100 or more pieces on glass shelves in my kitchen bay window. Several years ago, one of my daughters gave me a cobalt blue glass cross for my window. It was made up of odd shaped scraps of cobalt and other shades of blue glass. It is beautiful. The artist had a short poem on a card attached which said, "<em>we are all made from little pieces put together to make us a whole gift from God</em>." Just thought you could use your scraps to do the something similar. <br /><br />Love your show and have been listening for more years than I can remember. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Beverly <br /><br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
What are your favorite hobbies? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
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Staff
2019-11-27T18:58:00Z
My Marriage Motto
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Marriage-Motto/-688555031721806296.html
2019-11-26T18:58:00Z
2019-11-26T18:58:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been listening to your program for 27 years and this month my husband and I will be celebrating our 30th anniversary. Our 30 years have had many ups and downs, as all relationships do, but we have worked very hard to make a good marriage and to show our 3 kids what two people that love each other are willing to do to remain happy. <br /><br />Several years ago you made a comment on your show that has stayed with me. I have passed it on to others as well. This has become my motto through the years!
<blockquote><em><strong> "When you wake up in the morning, think about what you can do to make your spouse's day better and glad that they are married to you." </strong></em></blockquote>
Thank you for your wonderful words of wisdom and your commitment to bettering the lives of families and children. <br /><br />Love and respect, <br /><br />Leslie <br /><br /><br /><br />What's your personal motto? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2019-11-26T18:58:00Z
The Dynamics of Men and Women
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Dynamics-of-Men-and-Women/845669351092971996.html
2019-11-25T18:58:00Z
2019-11-25T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Hello, <br /><br />Dr. Laura I am a 21-year-old young man and was directed to read one of your books. The "<em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>", then proceed to give it to my significant other. I have done so and apparently she is a fan of yours I did not know! <br /><br />I just wanted to say thank you on behalf of a lot of men who are in relationships and marriages. This book helps explain and put into words what most of us cannot do or detail to our spouses. Specifically the emotions we hold back most of the times. The book also made me realize that we as humans always assume we do not have enough time. When we lie to ourselves enough we eventually believe. <br /><br />Your book has really helped me understand the dynamic of how women think and how we should be as men. Thank you for bringing forth a great book and I look forward to reading all of the others!<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a favorite book from Dr. Laura? Tell us which one and how it helped, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2019-11-25T18:58:00Z
Discipline Is About Structure
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Discipline-Is-About-Structure/869033340893171599.html
2019-11-22T18:58:00Z
2019-11-22T18:58:00Z
<p><br />This is just my personal opinion and philosophy, as a mom that raised two kids. I think when children live generally undisciplined lives, they think that the world owes them something. They don't empathize with others. <br /><br />If a parent chooses to discipline, they should do so consistently, fairly, and with the intent of producing results or a change in behavior. Discipline hurts. We all experience it. Living a disciplined life produces a child that understands what it feels like to not to get their way. <br /><br />Discipline isn't only about time out or nose in the corner. It's about structure! Bath time, bedtime at a consistent time, cleaning up after play, taking care of pets, even doing homework. It's a way of life.<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you feel about discipline and your child? Send an email and share! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-11-22T18:58:00Z
Giving Up Would Be Easy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Giving-Up-Would-Be-Easy/-205017191976946298.html
2019-11-21T18:58:00Z
2019-11-21T18:58:00Z
<br />Called about a year ago because I was struggling with my career. We had recently moved and I had to give up a good job in a bad economy. I was struggling to find my footing and provide for my family. This was seriously damaging my self-confidence, which in turn, was hurting my relationship with my wife and children. <br /><br />When we talked last year, you told me that my current difficulty was not my fault. Things were bad for everyone and I didn't get to feel like I was the only one having a hard time. We also talked about possible directions I should and should not consider. Things like writing, for example, were unlikely to yield any major returns based on the amount of time they would take. Instead, we talked some about my strengths and how I should proceed. <br /><br />It is now almost a full year later and things have turned around. I am now a manager at a good company, utilizing many of my skills and experience to lead a team doing work that is important to me. I just wanted to get back to you to thank you and encourage others not to give up.That was the thing that helped me most during these difficult months. No matter how hard things were, I must never give up. <br /><br />Giving up would be easy, but wouldn't help anyone except those who would prefer to see me fail. For the sake of my children, my wife, and especially myself. I have held on to hope and come out on top. <br /><br />Thank you very much Dr. Laura! <br />
Staff
2019-11-21T18:58:00Z
Think Before Leaping Into Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Think-Before-Leaping-Into-Marriage/-794928844184859974.html
2019-11-20T18:58:00Z
2019-11-20T18:58:00Z
<p><br /><br /><span>When you say your vows to one another on your wedding day must love one another. In order for the marriage to work you must always be faithful to each other. That's exactly what we have done and have been married for 40 years.<br /><br />Don't get married if you can't do the things you promise in your vows !!!</span><br /><br /><br /><br />Did you think about all the possibilities before you tied the knot or did you just jump in? Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-11-20T18:58:00Z
I Am A Better Person Because Of YOU
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Am-A-Better-Person-Because-Of-YOU/908172169955104694.html
2019-11-19T18:58:00Z
2019-11-19T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I just want you to know how incredible you are. I have been listening to you for over 15 years and you changed my life. I actually listen to a lot of your advice. As a result, I became a MAN and owned my life and its challenges. <br /><br />I went from a partying child to one day realizing that I am just getting older, with no purpose. I now have purchased my second home and am a full time care provider for my disabled sister. This is the short and dirty version of my story but I want to THANK YOU for your contribution to the world. I am a better person because of YOU!! <br /><br />Thank you for taking time to read this! All the best to you Dr. Laura!!!<br /><br /><br /><br />Who has helped to shape you into a better person? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2019-11-19T18:58:00Z
My Top 6 Tips for Good Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Top-6-Tips-for--Good-Marriage/352649744395814365.html
2019-11-18T18:58:00Z
2019-11-18T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I just wanted to share the 6 things we do to create a good marriage. Enjoy!<br /><br /></p>
<ol>
<li>Choose wisely </li>
<br />
<li>Treat kindly </li>
<br />
<li>Be a good spouse yourself. Ask yourself regularly, "<em>What have I done lately to improve the quality of life within our marriage?</em>" Then get busy and put some effort into making life better; more fun, more joy, a surprise, clean things up in the house, plan a nice date night, whatever makes you and your spouse happy. </li>
<br />
<li>Play his favorite music on date night </li>
<br />
<li>Keep your sense of humor, make things fun, find things that are funny </li>
<br />
<li>Show affection to your spouse!</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><br /><br />What marriage tricks do you have? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2019-11-18T18:58:00Z
Healthy Happy Living
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Healthy-Happy-Living/709140839641036184.html
2019-11-15T18:58:00Z
2019-11-15T18:58:00Z
<br /><span>I would like to thank you for changing my entire outlook on life! I know I'm the most important person to my children and I'm home with them because of you. I too am now a recovering feminist. <br /><br />I can't thank you enough for shining such a bright light on how best to live your life. My husband and I both listen to you and we always ask each other, "<em>what Dr. Laura would say</em>". <br /><br />So, thank you for being such an inspiration and intelligent person!!!!</span><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-11-15T18:58:00Z
I Told You So
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Told-You-So/-976336702989972843.html
2019-11-14T18:58:00Z
2019-11-14T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I think the biggest asset my husband and I have is our difference of history. We grew up in opposite ways and made opposite choices. Each of us has areas of strength and weakness that we are constantly revisiting during financial talks. <br /><br />He usually says, "<em>do what you think is right, babe</em>" and that ends the discussion because he trusts my financial decisions. There have been a few times where we just do not agree. After several days, and advice from trusted sources, it always has to come down to a compromise.<br /><br />The thing that has kept our relationship strong is we don't say/or express in any way the famous "<em>I told you so</em>". This helps us tackle the consequences as a team and not as enemies.<br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2019-11-14T18:58:00Z
I Held My Ground
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Held-My-Ground/-629375868593676843.html
2019-11-13T18:58:00Z
2019-11-13T18:58:00Z
<br />My daughter hated her 7th grade math teacher all year. He wasn't the best at teaching the children and no one seemed to like him; everyone thought he was a bad teacher. According to my 13 year old. <br /><br />I planted my seed mid-year stating, "if you get a C or lower in any one quarter.....you will make it up in summer school". I thought that would solve the problem. She ran cross country in the fall and her grades went down. Then, she participated in track and field in the spring and she eventually did get a C in her Math class. <br /><br />I held my ground and had her take a summer math class. I am a math teacher and her dad is a Civil engineer. Never once did she seek help. I will continue to hold my ground and have her serve time in the summer if she has additional excuses for the rest of the school year.<br /><br />Thank you for giving me the courage to do the right thing for my teen!<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever disliked a teacher? Tell us why,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2019-11-13T18:58:00Z
Expecting More From Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Expecting-More-From-Me/357128149640997282.html
2019-11-12T17:15:00Z
2019-11-12T17:15:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I owe you my new life. You are the ONLY person who told me there are no excuses for being overweight. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia AND PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) when I was 20, plus I have a history of genetic obesity. Over the years I gradually gained more and more weight and even my own family would excuse my weight gain saying it's not my fault, genetics and PCOS made me gain more than average people and fibromyalgia made exercise too painful.</p>
<p>Last November I heard you telling a caller that you just need to start eating less and moving more. Well, at the weight I was, it really did hurt too much to exercise (I was 205 lbs. at 5.8), but I could eat less. I tracked calories and started eating more veggies and less junk. In 9 months, I had lost 50 lbs. This last month I started exercising and found I was much less sore now that I no longer carried around all that extra weight. I now go 5 times a week for a full 60 minute class, plus I am eating more healthy than I ever have. I am no longer a victim of my circumstances. I will break the 150 mark in the next few weeks, a weight I have not seen for 10 years and I am THRILLED. Thank you for expecting more from me than I expected from myself.</p>
<p>Sharon</p>
Staff
2019-11-12T17:15:00Z
Focusing on my Boy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Focusing-on-my-Boy/294151931343053407.html
2019-11-11T18:59:00Z
2019-11-11T18:59:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I remember having to do a report in school about what we wanted to be when we grew up. I always knew I wanted to be a wife and mom. But I never thought it was the ‘right’ answer. So I would make up something. I would say I wanted to be a lawyer or a librarian. I really just wanted to be a wife and mom. I wanted to cook and clean and do laundry. You helped me realize wanting to be a wife and mom was okay. In fact it was great.</p>
<p>Unfortunately I made some mistakes in life. I am a mom to a great 11 year old boy. But I have not been a wife. When my son was younger, about 3 years old, I was focused on dating and trying to meet a guy. I still wanted to be a wife, but I was forgetting I was a mom. You taught me to make my son my number one priority now. I stopped dating and started focusing on my son. We do homework together every night. We have dinner together every evening. We go to church together on Sundays. I go to every one of his baseball games and practices.</p>
<p>It has taken some time, but his father and I now get along great. I made a point to never speak badly about his father.</p>
<p>So many women tell me I need to take time for myself. I need to get a man. I need to go out on the weekends. I am so proud to tell them nothing makes me happier then when I am spending time with my son. And that is the truth!! I see these same women neglect their kids because they need ‘me time.’ They bring so many random men in and out of their children’s lives. I was on that same path at one point. But I thank God I started to listen to you. I am focused on my son and I know I am doing the right thing.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, for all you do for families.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>M.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-11-11T18:59:00Z
Awareness Must Be Taught
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Awareness-Must-Be-Taught/201907511944509883.html
2019-11-08T18:58:00Z
2019-11-08T18:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Today I took the time and energy (being chronically ill, that is a huge deal) to make it to my 7-year-old granddaughter's soccer game. As soon as she saw me setting up my chair on the sidelines, she raced over to give me a huge hug and kiss and said, "<em>Thank you for coming, Grandma! I'm so happy you're here!</em>"<br /><br />I commend my daughter-in-law and son for teaching their daughter gratitude and awareness of others, for it does not just get passed on via the bloodstream but must be taught.<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you teach your children gratitude? Tell us. Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-11-08T18:58:00Z
The Things That Give Me Peace
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Things-That-Give-Me-Peace/788807346550653203.html
2019-11-07T18:58:00Z
2019-11-07T18:58:00Z
<p><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />In October 2016 my husband Terry, after a 45 year marriage, died from cancer. He fought for 2 years but couldn't be saved. <br /><br />What gives me peace is having two wonderful granddaughters who carry his genes, a loving daughter and friends who care. Peace to me is seeing his pictures, smelling him on clothes I kept when I walk by the closet and just knowing what a loving wonderful life we really did have. I appreciate the little things around me, hearing the birds, sunny days, friendly phone calls, and listening to your show makes me know that I was fortunate to have had him in my life for all those years. <br /><br />We fought to save him, but being a retired fire chief, he knew that his job was the cause of illness. He was happy to have served for 33 years and to have saved so many lives. He wasn't scared. He was at peace that he had done his duty. He could pass at peace. So life goes on, I will carry on his duties and help others like he did it. <br /><br />We both listened to your show and love it. <br /><br />Thank you for being you. <br /><br /><br />How do you find peace after the loss of someone special? Send us an email and share! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</span></p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-11-07T18:58:00Z
Stop And Count to Ten
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stop-And-Count-to-Ten/-488842548643806385.html
2019-11-05T18:58:00Z
2019-11-05T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Whenever I have a passing thought of something my spouse did that disappointed me or caused great anger, I stop...count to 10. I then realize that he's no more perfect as a human than I am. <br /><br />I have done things that I don't want to be constantly judged. I have tried to learn from my shortcomings and mistakes, so not make them again. As long as it's not something that he does over and over, with no intent on changing, then he's doing his best to right a wrong. <br /><br />God didn't make us perfect. He made us only in his image not his perfect duplication.<br /><br /><br /><br />How do handle it when you're frustrated? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2019-11-05T18:58:00Z
Don't Be Afraid to Homeschool
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dont-Be-Afraid-to-Homeschool/981105615164063258.html
2019-11-04T18:58:00Z
2019-11-04T18:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />I heard a caller from Maine who had questions about homeschooling and almost everything she said ended with, "What if...?" You correctly advised her to forget about questioning herself and setting herself up for failure. <br /><br />My wife and I raised our granddaughter since she was a month old. When she reached junior high school age, she asked to be homeschooled. I researched homeschooling online and found considerable resources, including educational materials for the student, as well as teacher guides. Like the caller, we also live in Maine and a licensed teacher must sign off at the end of each school year showing the homeschooled student has performed satisfactorily. We had a retired teacher friend who gladly met with our granddaughter periodically to talk with her and monitor her progress. It was easy! <br /><br />We homeschooled for grades 6, 7 and 8. My wife is a high school graduate, but was not an honors student. I have a couple of years of college, but was not an honor student, and was working full time back then. My wife did the lion's share of the teaching. We were apprehensive and had concerns about how homeschooling would go. Once we began, we found our fears to be unfounded and we were able to achieve the results that we and our granddaughter hoped for. <br /><br />In Maine, public schools must provide access to sports teams and arts and music programs, even science labs (if memory serves) for homeschooled students. I would hope all states provide that opportunity. <br /><br />When we reached the high school years, we persuaded our granddaughter to enroll in a private school where she continued her education into the start of her senior year when she started to exhibit some signs of needing more help than that school could provide. She began seeing a therapist who was comforting and understanding. We also had an in-school evaluation and a neuro-psych exam performed. Long story short: We ended up meeting the Special Education director of the regional high school who called together the necessary course teachers and told them, "We will make this happen!" The girl graduated high school with honors thanks to the efforts of the special ed. staff. <br /><br />The three years of homeschooling helped play a role in the child's success. It wasn't easy, but it was a rewarding experience. One last thing, there are home study parent groups who meet regularly; sometimes in churches and sometimes in homes. Resources are readily available. Your caller was afraid. Fear of failure can lead to failure. It is my hope anyone wishing to homeschool will search the Internet to seek and find the many resources which are out there. <br /><br />Thank you for all you do, Dr. Laura. You are a treasure! <br /><br />Robert</p>
Staff
2019-11-04T18:58:00Z
I Was Speechless
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Was-Speechless/597016126380318845.html
2019-11-01T17:59:00Z
2019-11-01T17:59:00Z
<p><br />I had to share this moment with my 3-year-old granddaughter. I know you will get a kick out of this. <br /><br />I am always telling her she should be a doctor she grows up. She has a little doctor kit that she uses to check your heart, your ears and take your temperature. She was sitting on my lap looking at one of her books when I asked her, "<em>What do you want to be when you grow up? A doctor?</em>" She said nothing. <br /><br />Her mother sitting across from me asked her again, "<em>What do you want to be when you grow up?</em>" Without looking up or skipping a beat, she said "<em>I just want to be Katie.</em>" I told her that would be fine with me! <br /><br />I was speechless. A child coming up with that answer was incredible! <br /><br /><br /><br />Has your child or grandchild ever said something that made you smile? Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-11-01T17:59:00Z
Thank You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You/881501290655010027.html
2019-10-31T17:58:00Z
2019-10-31T17:58:00Z
<p><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been a listener for over 20 years. I am a psychologist and family therapist in private practice for the past 40+ years. I request that all my patients listen to your show and subscribe to your web services, as well as read your books. <br /><br />This has not only proved very helpful to my patients as individuals, couples and families, but obviously made my job of treating them easier and more fruitful. I just wanted you to know how appreciated you are by your fellow professionals. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Les<br /><br /><br /><br /></span>Have you ever learned a lesson from a mentor?. If you'd like to share your story, sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-10-31T17:58:00Z
Parenting As A Loving Team
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parenting-As-A-Loving-Team/-354701558116849683.html
2019-10-30T17:58:00Z
2019-10-30T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I remember my kids used to worry. They would ask us when they were little if we would be getting a divorce. Most of their other friends in school had parents who were divorcing and this scared them. I PROMISED our son and daughter that would never happen! Mommy and Daddy love each other VERY much and we're in it for the long haul. <br /><br />My little son and daughter are now 17 and 14, and mom and dad are still happily married at 20 years. We've had ups & downs, difficult moments and situations at times, but we always stuck by each other and parented our children as a loving team. <br /><br />I have a good man in my partner and he has the same in me. Best of all...we both realize it.<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you calm your child's fear of divorce? Tell us. Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-10-30T17:58:00Z
Switching My Focus
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Switching-My-Focus/-379835719783072639.html
2019-10-29T17:58:00Z
2019-10-29T17:58:00Z
<p><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br /><br /> </span></p>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1483991988346_4874">Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been listening to you every day on the way home from work, for at least the past year. I really enjoy listening to your point of view. There have been many situations in my life that I have been able to processes and accept, with the help of your advice.<br /><br />In some instances, I know that we have made the right decision, even if it hurts. I just wanted to share something with you. A while ago, you said that something that made such an impact with me that I actually stopped what I was doing just to type it into my cell phone. You said: "<em>Fill your life and your mind with 'what is'. Too many people mess up 'what is' with what they wish they could have, they don't enjoy the 'what is' half as much.</em>" Wow!<br /><br /> I read that over and over and over again. It brings so much comfort. It reminds me that I need to continue to seek out the blessings in my life rather than dwell on the loss and negativity that has also been a part of our life. We have so much to be thankful for. Even though I have loss in my heart, I need to focus on the "<em>what is</em>" rather than "<em>what will never be</em>". <br /><br />Thank you for that reminder. <br /><br /><br /> </div>
<span>Have you ever heard something noteworthy from Dr. Laura? </span> Send us an email and share! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
Staff
2019-10-29T17:58:00Z
Making Marriage Great
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Marriage-Great/-897150042241481832.html
2019-10-28T17:58:00Z
2019-10-28T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I married the man that I thought was the man of my dreams. It started 40 years ago, I was only 19. I didn't know a thing about love or marriage, except what I saw between my parents. They were a great example! My mom and dad taught me to fight for what I care about and to never give up. <br /><br />I didn't and neither did my husband. My husband was diagnosed manic-depressive back in 1982. There were times when he was feeling better. And there were times when he would quit taking his medication too. He now takes his medication exactly as he should. What a ride! Thankfully, he never treated me badly and he always held a good job; so that I could stay home with our two children. <br /><br />There were days when we didn't like each other, but we got over it. We went through some really rough times. We've always loved each other - and when the really hard times hit, we decided that we really did like each other enough to fight to make our marriage a great one. <br /><br />This is not the marriage or the man of my dreams - it's a whole lot better! Going to celebrate in Hawaii next month! It is a huge deal that my husband is doing this for me because he hates to fly. I will always be my husband's girlfriend and my kid's mom! <br /><br />Thank you for your guidance over the years.<br /><br /><br /><br />Why are you happy that you married your spouse? Send us an email and tell us why, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-10-28T17:58:00Z
Being a Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-a-Mom/-722471642705410865.html
2019-10-25T17:58:00Z
2019-10-25T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I have been a divorced parent for many years. When I tell people this, I often get, "<em>Oh you should go out and meet someone</em>", or "<em>I know someone you would really be great for you…</em>" When I tell people I choose to be a single, they are really taken aback by that statement. It is a choice. Is it the best situation? Absolutely not! A two parent household is optimum. However, I left a marriage that was unhealthy and destructive. I was depressed and lonely at first, but in time I realized how much happier my children were. Their father chose not to be a part of their lives. They have struggled and I have worked hard to be both parents. I have a great support system which has seen me through the rough times. <br /><br />I had 4 children. My eldest died in a car accident and it was devastating. He was only 19. I have twin daughters that are now 26. They are both successful, in healthy relationships and have chosen to wait to get married until they are ready to have children and be a mom. My youngest is 17. He is wonderful and will be going to college next year. All of them freely say they love me. They are caring and kind. Even the 17 year old boy will give me hugs. None of them do drugs, the older ones drink rarely and responsibly. <br /><br />I chose my children over my "<em>desire</em>" to be involved with a man. This was not an easy choice. I do not date. I do not go out to bars. I do not look for men. I attend all band and school functions to support my son. I cook, clean, shuttle kids to and from events and school. I work full time. It was hard in the beginning, but I have been creative and fortunate that my hours working matched school hours. It was the best way I could work and care for my children. I am happy. Do I want to find someone and grow old with? Yes. Of course, I think about that. Am I happy? Absolutely! I am 58 years old and am ready to move into my time to have a relationship and enjoy traveling with a mate. I am not sure I look forward to dating, but I am not concerned about meeting someone. So who knows? After my baby's graduation and he is off to college, I may meet a decent man and enjoy the second half of my life - ok so I may not live to be 116, but I have no regrets. I did the job I signed up for. I have raised my children to be safe, responsible and productive citizens. The time for me is around the corner and I am happy waiting for it. <br /><br />I wanted to write this so that maybe others will know that parenting means sacrifice, with or without a partner. It was better for me to parent my children rather than add another person to the dynamics in our life. I have no regrets. I am not some weird ugly woman who can't have a decent relationship. I just chose the path that would best support my children. Every sacrifice was worth every second of the life I have had raising them. <br /><br />Thank you, <br /><br />Dawn</p>
Staff
2019-10-25T17:58:00Z
Setting And Reaching Your Goals
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Setting-And-Reaching-Your-Goals/242371426529653664.html
2019-10-24T17:58:00Z
2019-10-24T17:58:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Not too long ago, I signed myself up for a kitchen challenge. Every day for 20 days, I would receive an email with a certain task to complete for my kitchen. The end result is to have a tidy, organized and stocked kitchen ready for anything! I am a pretty tidy woman, as cleaning can relieve stress for me. When I read some of the days challenges I found myself saying, I've done that! I do that! That's clean! Then I would I would skip to the next day, without fully completing the previous task. <br /><br />I heard you in the back of my mind saying, "<em>You might have done it your way, but not the way I'm telling you to do it!</em>" With this resonating in my mind, I said to myself, the point Dr. Lara is making is right. I may already have a tidy & organized kitchen, but I haven't fully completed the tasks in the challenge. I am pleased to inform you that I decided to get down to business and completed the challenge wholeheartedly! Listening to this piece of advice from you has led me to accomplish a seemingly small challenge. More importantly, I am proud of my self for setting & reaching this goal. <br /><br />Thanks for all you do! <br /><br />Brit<br />
Staff
2019-10-24T17:58:00Z
Simple Life, but Happy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Simple-Life,-but-Happy/-408753580667964631.html
2019-10-23T17:58:00Z
2019-10-23T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am my kid's mom and my husband of 25 years girlfriend. In my twenties, I got married and had two beautiful boys. Every day I would drop them off at daycare and go to my cushy county job. I started listening to you at work and took to heart everything you said. <br /><br />One night, I went home, looked at my husband and said, "I want to be a stay at home mom." He looked back at me and said, "ok." I did not think he would agree so easily.<br /><br /> Looking back at how much I would be earning now, how big my 401k would be, or how close I would now be to retiring all means nothing. We live a simple life, but we are happy. <strong>I would NEVER say I regret my decision to stay home</strong>. My boys are 21 and 23 now and doing wonderful. They are wonderful. I am so grateful to your voice coming out of my little radio at work and changing my life and the lives of my husband and children. <br /><br />Thank you, Thank you, Thank you,<br /><br />Sherrie<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Have you changed to being an at home mommy? What made you change? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<div>
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<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-10-23T17:58:00Z
I Thought I Could Do It All
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Thought-I-Could-Do-It-All/317982576415270982.html
2019-10-22T17:58:00Z
2019-10-22T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just wanted to take a few minutes to let you know how you've helped me. I have worked very hard to get where I am. I went to school many years and did without the finer things so that I could finish. I am also very proud of what I do for a living.<br /><br />I got married after I graduated. After 4 years of marriage, we decided to have a child. This is about the time I started listening to you. I was highly offended about the working mom thing and told myself you were ridiculous. At the time, I felt like I could go to every school function or party and when I had to stay the night at the hospital, that was good father/daughter time.<br /><br />Working 70hrs a week and having so many people depend on you really got to me. I was miserable, unhappy, and so tired! One day on your show, you said something about if you didn't like where you were in life, change it! So simple. <br /><br />Fast forward, I found a hospital close that had the hours I wanted. I negotiated a great contract and gave my notice. I am my daughter's mom again and I'm so in love with my husband. I am sweet, happy, and cook supper every night. I can honestly say, I've never been happier! Thank you so much!<br /><br /><br /><br />How have you changed your life to better your family? Tell us. Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-10-22T17:58:00Z
I Do Not Regret Choosing My Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Do-Not-Regret-Choosing-My-Kids/831560041697792773.html
2019-10-21T17:58:00Z
2019-10-21T17:58:00Z
<p><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br />Both my 12-year-old daughter and her 19-year-old brother grew up with Dr. Laura on the car radio whenever I'd pick them up from school in the afternoons. Thank you for conveying the lessons that I was teaching at home, with that much more authority! Listen to mom? Maybe. Listen to Dr. Laura on the radio? You bet! <br /><br />I also want to thank you for helping me feel so much better about becoming a stay-at-home mom nearly 20 years ago. Once I saw my newborn baby boy for the first time, there was no way I was going to leave him behind for my work. No matter how exciting, rewarding, and financially lucrative work was, he was better. A switch inside of me was irreversibly thrown and I became a stay-at-mommy in heart and in deed. <br /><br />Thank you, though, for making me feel good about it when everyone else but my husband and parents told me that I was wasting my talents. It was difficult for this '<em>type A</em>', ambitious woman to let go of my corporate identity, but I have NEVER regretted it. <br /><br /><br /></span></p>
What have you let go of for your family? If you'd like to share your story, sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-10-21T17:58:00Z
Parenting As A Loving Team
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parenting-As-A-Loving-Team/-615097524545943524.html
2019-10-18T17:58:00Z
2019-10-18T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I remember my kids used to worry. They would ask us when they were little if we would be getting a divorce. Most of their other friends in school had parents who were divorcing and this scared them. I PROMISED our son and daughter that would never happen! Mommy and Daddy love each other VERY much and we're in it for the long haul. <br /><br />My little son and daughter are now 17 and 14, and mom and dad are still happily married at 20 years. We've had ups & downs, difficult moments and situations at times, but we always stuck by each other and parented our children as a loving team. <br /><br />I have a good man in my partner and he has the same in me. Best of all...we both realize it.<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you calm your child's fear of divorce? Tell us. Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-10-18T17:58:00Z
Laundry Room Piles
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Laundry-Room-Piles/-759124172749623649.html
2019-10-17T17:58:00Z
2019-10-17T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Hi Dr Laura, <br /><br />I was listening to a podcast a few days ago about a woman whose husband was upset because she had a mess in the basement and piles of laundry. You told her to take better care of him and he wouldn't be as negative. It just so happened it was laundry day at our house. I had piles of laundry all over the basement and laundry room. <br /><br />In the middle of my day, before the laundry was finished, my daughter's nap time came around. After she went to sleep, I looked at the piles and thought, should I fold all of this or text my husband for a little fun? I texted my husband. Needless to say, I didn't have time to get laundry folded. He left, she woke up, lunch time rolled around. It didn't get done.<br /><br />Later that afternoon, a man showed up at our house to give us an estimate for installing sprinklers. I was washing dishes when he came into the house with my husband and they headed straight for the basement. GASP!!! I was so embarrassed!! They needed to inspect the pipes in the laundry room! Ugh! They came back upstairs and went outside. As they sat outside, I was trying to figure out something cute or funny I could say about the mess. I was sure my husband would bring it up. He came back inside - not a word. <br /><br />As we were getting ready for bed, I said something about the laundry and that I was mortified when I saw them come in and go downstairs. My husband said, "Everybody has laundry." And gave me a little kiss. So you were very right. And I thought it was a funny coincidence that it happened on the exact day I listened to the podcast.<br /><br />Thank you for being you. And always giving me the motivation to be the best mother and wife I can. You are awesome! <br /><br />Beth</p>
Staff
2019-10-17T17:58:00Z
You Make A Difference
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Make-A-Difference/-326195609738635378.html
2019-10-16T17:58:00Z
2019-10-16T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have called you a few times in the past, including last summer when my children were fighting and you wisely suggested a money jar. Each time the kids fought, regardless of who was to blame, they owed money in the jar. Glad to report they get along significantly better and are maturing beautifully. <br /><br />The purpose of my call was not to get on the air, but rather to tell you that there are many people like I who you may not necessarily hear from, but who you are doubtlessly benefiting. I know it's been a taxing year for you and at times on air I can hear the struggle. <br /><br />Just please keep this in the back of your head - YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE. You provide old fashioned values that our society NEEDS and LACKS. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Lauren<br /><br /><br />Do you think Dr. Laura makes a difference? How? Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-10-16T17:58:00Z
Red Flags
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Red-Flags/-292363142829993783.html
2019-10-15T17:58:00Z
2019-10-15T17:58:00Z
<p><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br />Before I married my ex-husband, I knew deep inside something was wrong. He looked at other women and actually asked me if I thought he could "<em>get them</em>"...<strong>RED FLAG</strong>. <br /><br />I was so needy, thinking I was stupid and ugly. I thought he was "<em>the guy</em>" to get, so I clung on thinking he was my way to success in life. I planned to get away and divorce him before kids, but I got pregnant and stayed for the next 12 years. I was thinking, hoping, and praying things would change. <br /><br />Things only changed when I finally changed and stopped the madness! Pay attention to the red flags! <br /><br />I love you!<br /><br />Thanks for helping me all of these years, <br /><br />Rebecca<br /><br /><br /><br /></span><span>Have you ever started a relationship that deep down you knew you shouldn't have?</span> If you'd like to share your story, sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-10-15T17:58:00Z
Seek to Understand
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Seek-to-Understand/-43535689275904264.html
2019-10-14T17:58:00Z
2019-10-14T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura: <br /><br />I recently read your book, "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Marriage/dp/0061142824" target="_blank">The Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage</a></em>". I am in the 2nd year of my third marriage. I was married twice when I was in my 20's, now once and forever in my 50's. The first two were like something from the movie '<em><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misery_(film)" target="_blank">Misery</a></em>'. I was heavily driven by my mothers-in-law when I was too young. I was too inexperienced to stand up to them and their angry anti-male attitudes. <br /><br />Thank you not only for painting the visions that men and women can come together and have a mutually Happy and harmonious marriage, but also identifying and addressing the root causes of what can make us "go of the tracks". I wish more people would embrace this, and stop having empty, roommate-like marriages, or bitter cold wars. <br /><br />Seeking to understand the other person's point of view, and seeking to be a giver versus a taker is the key. Thank you! <br /><br />George<br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
<p>Are you a giver or a taker? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2019-10-14T17:58:00Z
Keeping Your Cool as a Parent
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-Your-Cool-as-a-Parent/317028790122686097.html
2019-10-11T17:59:00Z
2019-10-11T17:59:00Z
<br />I certainly did not learn to keep my cool from my childhood. Life with my dad was stressful and scary. My mom was not a yeller, but Dad was very intimidating to my two sisters and me. I jokingly say I thought my name was Stupid, Ugly, Dummy, etc. God Bless him...loved him anyway.<br /><br />I thought about the way I was raised. I decided early on I would never do that to any child, mine or not. Yes, sometimes I wanted to yell at my two girls, but I stopped myself by remembering what I went through and how it made me feel. The other big deterrent was to ask myself; if either of them, God forbid, was ill or dead, I would not have this experience of helping them clean up spilled milk or watch them show me how they can really clean their rooms. I would rather have my girls around to "<em>mess up</em>" every so often, than have given birth and now one or both are gone forever.<br /><br />Instead, I put a smile on my face and they immediately know that uncalled-for smile means business. Problem solved! By the way, I am mentally counting to 10 at the same time. This works with my wonderful husband, as well. I would rather see clothes all over the floor then some horrible thing happen in my marriage or to him.<br /><br />Thankful for being a good student of life.<br /><br /> <br /><br />Donna<br />
Staff
2019-10-11T17:59:00Z
Maintenance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Maintenance/-405499609318193330.html
2019-10-10T17:58:00Z
2019-10-10T17:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am where I am now because of you and a dear friend along the way of 11 years. I found myself slipping lately due to the economy and my career. So, I thrust my head into my books hunting for <em>Bad Childhood - Good Life</em>. My thirst to find it was almost comical. With an enormous deep sigh, I sank into my comfort chair and reread this book. I felt the strength wrap me in glory again. When I reread the book, it was so comforting to see the growth and the pride I have in my wonderful quality of life. Demons do tread and they don't tread lightly.</p>
<p>Why did I find myself hunting for strength? I was finding myself short in answers, impatient and flustered. My son said, "Mom, did you take your Thyroid pill today?" I just needed to get my power back.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>P.</p>
Staff
2019-10-10T17:58:00Z
A True Awakening
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-True-Awakening/444917123029603013.html
2019-10-09T17:58:00Z
2019-10-09T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I just want to thank you. I know I am "<em>late</em>" in reading your books "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620/ref=asc_df_0060520620/?tag=bingshoppinga-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid={creative}&hvpos={adposition}&hvnetw=o&hvrand={random}&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=e&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl={devicemodel}&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=&hvtargid=pla-4584138857875204&psc=1" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>” and “…Feeding of Marriage,” but I can honestly say better late than never.</p>
<p>It has been a rough road the past year for me and my family. I was going through what I call a "feminist phase" driven and fueled by negative friends and family as well as my own resentments and insecurities. I filed for divorce thinking it was the thing to do without even consulting my husband on how I was feeling. Long story short, my time being separated from him made me realize how stupid and wrong I had been and just how much our daughters need him home. I dismissed the divorce, we went to marriage counseling and he eventually moved back home.<br /> <br />I now try to spend every day showing him how much his slaying of dragons means to me and he is truly my hero. I still fight my insecurities on a daily basis but I am no longer constantly nagging him for the constant reassurance of his love and approval or resenting my position in the home as a stay at home mom.<br /> <br />Thank you Dr Laura for giving the gift of a true awakening...</p>
<p>Jane</p>
Staff
2019-10-09T17:58:00Z
Making My Marriage Dazzle
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-My-Marriage-Dazzle/461908876263905367.html
2019-10-08T17:58:00Z
2019-10-08T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />My boyfriend and I have been married for 34 years and 21 of those years have included listening to the Dr. Laura Show. Thanks to your nagging, I started calling him my boyfriend. I've even started referring to friends' spouses as their boyfriend. Now I automatically keep him in the boyfriend perspective. <br /><br />Yesterday he told me that some co-workers were whining a little about how their wives do not enjoy football. He listened for a while then told them something like, "<em>Wow, my wife loves college football. In fact, last Saturday we fished all day then went straight to a sports bar and watched 2 football games.</em> " It was sweet of him to brag about me to his peers but the real gift to me was the look on his face. He beamed with happiness and pride while he bragged to me. While he told me the story he kept saying, "<em>I'm a king!</em>" I made him even happier later. <br /><br />Thank you for helping my marriage dazzle and for supporting my backbone while we raised our 3 generous kids.<br /><br /><br /><br />What fun things do you share with your spouse? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-10-08T17:58:00Z
Setting And Reaching Your Goals
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Setting-And-Reaching-Your-Goals/-325327929593425738.html
2019-10-07T17:58:00Z
2019-10-07T17:58:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Not too long ago, I signed myself up for a kitchen challenge. Every day for 20 days, I would receive an email with a certain task to complete for my kitchen. The end result is to have a tidy, organized and stocked kitchen ready for anything! I am a pretty tidy woman, as cleaning can relieve stress for me. When I read some of the days challenges I found myself saying, I've done that! I do that! That's clean! Then I would I would skip to the next day, without fully completing the previous task. <br /><br />I heard you in the back of my mind saying, "<em>You might have done it your way, but not the way I'm telling you to do it!</em>" With this resonating in my mind, I said to myself, the point Dr. Lara is making is right. I may already have a tidy & organized kitchen, but I haven't fully completed the tasks in the challenge. I am pleased to inform you that I decided to get down to business and completed the challenge wholeheartedly! Listening to this piece of advice from you has led me to accomplish a seemingly small challenge. More importantly, I am proud of my self for setting & reaching this goal. <br /><br />Thanks for all you do! <br /><br />Brit<br />
Staff
2019-10-07T17:58:00Z
We're Their Pets
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Were-Their-Pets/-757713481666090430.html
2019-10-04T17:58:00Z
2019-10-04T17:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I started laughing when you mentioned that your dog is a stress adding dog. You had to pet him the correct way, otherwise he would walk away from you. This is so true! <br /><br />My miniature poodle, "<em>Apple</em>" is just like that. I can't touch her butt. If I do, she starts showing her teeth and gives me a warning growl. Eventually she just walks away.<br /><br /> Miniature poodles really are stressful animals, they think they're humans and we're their pets! But we still love them to death, go figure. <br /><br />Wishing you and your staff a wonderful Christmas and New Year! <br /><br /><br />Love, <br /><br />Ana your faithful listener of 25 years<br /> <br /><br /><br /></span></span></span>Do consider your pets your family? Tell us more about them and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-10-04T17:58:00Z
A Lesson in Kindness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Lesson-in-Kindness/-119317224054385839.html
2019-10-03T17:59:00Z
2019-10-03T17:59:00Z
<p><br />My 5 year old grandson attends a Catholic school. His Mother came to pick him up and noticed a Dad was removing the pink polo type shirt his son had been dressed in that day. The little boy was crying.</p>
<p>My daughter in law asked, "Mike, why are you crying" and he responded the boys in the class had make fun of him for wearing the pink shirt. My daughter in law said, "I hope my son was not one of those boys." Mike told her indeed he had made fun of Mike. My daughter in law then verified with the teacher what had happened and made her plan to teach my grandson a leason.</p>
<p>My grandson had his own pink polo shirt at home and my daughter in law made him wear it to school the next day. He also had to apologize to Mike and given him a big hug. My grandson also received some teasing about his pink shirt at school. Hopefully he learned a leason about kindness and not hurting the feelings of others.</p>
<p>Kathy </p>
Staff
2019-10-03T17:59:00Z
Cutting the Crap
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cutting-the-Crap/510536997908818252.html
2019-10-02T17:58:00Z
2019-10-02T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Thank you for once again cutting the crap! As an overweight 50 year old, I have been told over the years that I may be an emotional eater. I maintain the weight to protect myself from social interaction and members of the opposite sex.<br /><br />You hit the nail on the head. It is hard to lose weight. It requires commitment. I will have to give up things that I like. Thank you for saying things clearly. <br /><br />YOU ARE RIGHT. <br /><br /><br /><br />When was the last time you were honest with yourself about something difficult? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-10-02T17:58:00Z
Facing The Pain
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Facing-The-Pain/672369957565554248.html
2019-10-01T17:58:00Z
2019-10-01T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I once lost a job. It forced me to be on my own; even thinking I was going to lose my apartment or car. Through the pain of being let go, I had to do the opposite of what I felt. You have to fight. Gather your strength and fight. <br /><br />After you have cried and wailed to no one for a few hours, you have to breathe, calm down and get strong. There is nobody else to turn to. You have to look at everything you ever did to be successful before. Remember it got you your last job. You have to keep clear headed. No self-pity, no running from reality. No drink or pills. You cannot be strong if you abuse your brain with false happiness and unnatural emotions. Face up to the pain. Don't displace the pain, or it will flood back twice as strong. <br /><br />Make a plan of action. Present yourself better, stronger and faster. Within a couple of weeks, new doors will open. This happened to me many years ago. It was a very memorable low point and this is what it taught me.<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever had a bad low point in your life? How did you handle it? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-10-01T17:58:00Z
Get Creative
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Get-Creative/-921659780015700933.html
2019-09-30T17:58:00Z
2019-09-30T17:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><br />Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I'm a stay at home mom. It's difficult but it's worth it for my family. I make it work by getting creative.<br /><br />My husband works his tail off at his job during the day so that I can stay home with our young boys (3 and 7 months). In our state, it's still not enough to live any kind of life we wanted. <br /><br />So I got creative: started babysitting one other child a few days a week, started teaching piano lessons when he's home. We make it work so we can give our kids both the life and the lifestyle we think is important!<br /><br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span>What do you do to make your family life work? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-09-30T17:58:00Z
Doing The Right Thing Isn't Easy But It's Worth It
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Doing-The-Right-Thing-Isnt-Easy-But-Its-Worth-It/-29953178703151501.html
2019-09-27T17:58:00Z
2019-09-27T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura. I've been following your advice since I found Stars on my XM radio in December 2016. I'm a single mother, and thought I had to meet a man and have him in my life for a role model for my child. After making a few changes, including no more sex outside if marriage, my life has been filled with sadness and joy.<br /><br /> Sadness, because my significant other broke his promise to me, and found another. I guess he could not have a relationship with me without the sex. Yes, I'm very sad, but this is my time to be sad, and mourn the loss of that long relationship. I'm letting go of my old relationship behaviors. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. <br /><br />Warmly, <br /><br />Your Devoted Listener</p>
Staff
2019-09-27T17:58:00Z
Expecting More From Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Expecting-More-From-Me/-933573845126349874.html
2019-09-26T17:58:00Z
2019-09-26T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I owe you my new life. You are the ONLY person who told me there are no excuses for being overweight. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia AND PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) when I was 20, plus I have a history of genetic obesity. Over the years I gradually gained more and more weight and even my own family would excuse my weight gain saying it's not my fault, genetics and PCOS made me gain more than average people and fibromyalgia made exercise too painful.</p>
<p>Last November I heard you telling a caller that you just need to start eating less and moving more. Well, at the weight I was, it really did hurt too much to exercise (I was 205 lbs. at 5.8), but I could eat less. I tracked calories and started eating more veggies and less junk. In 9 months, I had lost 50 lbs. This last month I started exercising and found I was much less sore now that I no longer carried around all that extra weight. I now go 5 times a week for a full 60 minute class, plus I am eating more healthy than I ever have. I am no longer a victim of my circumstances. I will break the 150 mark in the next few weeks, a weight I have not seen for 10 years and I am THRILLED. Thank you for expecting more from me than I expected from myself.</p>
<p>Sharon</p>
Staff
2019-09-26T17:58:00Z
Making Life Easier for My Wife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Life-Easier-for-My-Wife/-957839935009739049.html
2019-09-25T17:58:00Z
2019-09-25T17:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I just wanted to take a minute to answer your question about what I did for my wife when we were expecting our first and now what I am doing as we expect number two!</p>
<p>I HATE feet. They are smelly and sweaty and disgusting but my wife LOVES to have her feet massaged, so every day after I would come home from work, I would sit on the couch as she laid on the other end putting her feet in my lap. I would watch some of my favorite shows as I massaged her feet between various calls for mango with chile pepper and running down to get a "Super Nachos" from her favorite nacho joint. I would attend as many of the prenatal appointments as was possible (I got to all but two of them!) and would ask the doctor questions myself about what was happening and what to expect. I also took an interest in what she was learning about what was going on with my little girl as she developed in the womb. This gave my wife and I something to talk about and helped me feel more involved in the pregnancy. She enjoyed this too because she could share her fears with me in a way I could understand. We were also able to share some good laughs as we both huddled around her belly playing Mozart and Led Zeppelin (ya know, the classics) to the baby. Just knowing I was there for her not only physically, financially, and spiritually but taking an active role in learning what was happening inside her really helped our marriage, friendship and understanding during the first pregnancy. I did everything I could so she could stay home in the final months and relax. She is still a stay-at-home Mom and we couldn't be happier about how my beautiful girl is doing.</p>
<p>During this pregnancy, my wife is still at home but with the added challenge of having a one and half year old running around asking to play "Ring around t he Rosie" every 5 seconds. I still try to make it to all of the appointments I can and massage her aching feet. On the weekends, I let her sleep as much as she wants while my daughter and I get some much needed daddy-daughter play time. We go to the store and do some grocery shopping or get the tires rotated or even go down to the ocean to watch the waves. Momma gives me a call when she gets up and then we head home to get Mom so we can all have a relaxing lunch. I also try to do the cooking on the weekends so my wife can enjoy "hanging out" again. Cooking is kinda fun because my daughter will sit on my shoulders and help me get things out of the cupboards and hold spatula's for me. She is handy like that!</p>
<p>Well, that kind of sums it up Dr. Laura. I have to thank you as well for helping inspire us to be the best kind of logical people we can be. I heard a quote once, I don't remember where, that said, "Always be yourself, but always be your better self!" I think that is good advice and something we try to do. Thanks for everything!</p>
<p>Tanner</p>
Staff
2019-09-25T17:58:00Z
Dealing With Loneliness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dealing-With-Loneliness/835601870878063096.html
2019-09-24T17:58:00Z
2019-09-24T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Last summer, the woman I loved and was married to for 17 years decided that she didn't want to stay married to me. I loved her and did everything I can to take the best care of her. I have always been affectionate and been very caring. I did everything to save the marriage but nothing worked. I was devastated. <br /><br />For a long time I stopped caring about myself and didn't care if I lived or died. She was my world. The loneliness I felt as so hard. It seemed everything reminded me of my ex-wife. To help me with everything I felt a need to have a close relationship with god. Along with that I went to counseling. I had a great support system with my siblings and friends. What helped so much was to be able to talk about the emotions I was going through. It never helps to bottle everything up inside. <br /><br />Today my life is so much better. I am a happy person again and I have gotten my life back together. What people need to know is: When you go through hard times, it sucks. The important thing is to get up. Brush yourself off and never give up. <br /><br />I love your show and you are a blessing to us all. I listen every day and I admire you. Thanks for being the person you are.</p>
Staff
2019-09-24T17:58:00Z
Being Defensive
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-Defensive/948689958243201924.html
2019-09-23T17:58:00Z
2019-09-23T17:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br /> <br />The other day I read an interesting thing which made a lot of sense to me. I think you too will find it quite interesting.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><em>Sometimes people are a lot like dogs. When a dog barks and howls, he is protecting something. So, when you are having a disagreement with someone and they start "barking and howling", you have to ask yourself...</em><br /><em>"What are they protecting?</em>"</p>
</blockquote>
<p><br />To me this is a very enlightening concept. Usually when people get extremely defensive, loud and argumentative they are "<em>protecting</em>" something such as their way of life, their beliefs, the status quo or something else. And they don't want to change. Anyway, I thought you would find this interesting.</p>
<p>I listen to your show every day on Sirius/XM radio and really appreciate your point of view. I have been listening to you for many years and your common sense advice has assisted me in making difficult decisions and helping me mold a life I am now very proud of. Thank you very much for giving of yourself to help so many people in need.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Risa</p>
Staff
2019-09-23T17:58:00Z
Adjusting to Motherhood!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Adjusting-to-Motherhood!/-392014069907375344.html
2019-09-20T17:58:00Z
2019-09-20T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>After hearing your comments regarding the adjustment time it takes to motherhood, I have to say thank you!</p>
<p>I am a very happily married mother of 2 young (and VERY BUSY!!!!) boys! I was happy to hear the adjustment period is normal! It's definitely something that scared me with my first! I had always wanted to be a SAHM with my kids and I was not lucky to have one, although I had a very hard working mom!</p>
<p>I wanted to SHOUT at the radio and say, "<em>Caller, you aren't alone girl!</em>"</p>
<p>The adjustment period was very difficult for me, BUT after that initial 'hump', things made a complete 180 degree turn around! I LOVE being my kids' mom and watching them grow and progress!</p>
<p>I've also admitted to my husband "<em>I WANT 3 MORE!!</em>"</p>
<p>Thank you!</p>
<p>Meghan</p>
Staff
2019-09-20T17:58:00Z
Investing in Your Spouse
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Investing-in-Your-Spouse/-485345673529781932.html
2019-09-19T17:58:00Z
2019-09-19T17:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><span><br />Yes, marriage takes a lot of patience and it can be frustrating to a point. Sometimes, it's disappointing and sometimes lonely. Over all, I see it as an investment in another person, whom I can trust to accept me for the person that I am. <br /><br />I love my husband. I truly love him. We aren't perfect. But, we compromise without really making a lot of fuss. I want him to be happy. He wants me to be happy. We can only contribute to each other's happiness.<br /><br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />Do you think marriage is worth the work? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-09-19T17:58:00Z
Get Creative
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Get-Creative/-267685324608198526.html
2019-09-18T17:58:00Z
2019-09-18T17:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><br />Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I'm a stay at home mom. It's difficult but it's worth it for my family. I make it work by getting creative.<br /><br />My husband works his tail off at his job during the day so that I can stay home with our young boys (3 and 7 months). In our state, it's still not enough to live any kind of life we wanted. <br /><br />So I got creative: started babysitting one other child a few days a week, started teaching piano lessons when he's home. We make it work so we can give our kids both the life and the lifestyle we think is important!<br /><br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span>What do you do to make your family life work? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-09-18T17:58:00Z
Helping My Messy Kid
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Helping-My-Messy-Kid/441958571048551928.html
2019-09-17T17:58:00Z
2019-09-17T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I discovered a neat trick to help my 13 year old boy pick up after himself. He's my youngest and I've always just picked up after him because it's been "<em>easier</em>". He would leave his trash, dirty dishes, clothes etc. right where he was, and when I would call him to clean up, it was like he honestly couldn't see the problem.</p>
<p>I finally realized I was not doing him any favors and when I started expecting him to clean up after himself I was met with "resistance" to say the least. My solution, I made it like an Easter Egg Hunt, "<em>Fix the problems in the room...there are 5.</em>" I combine this with hotter/colder hints. I count as he fixes them and he's almost eager to "<em>play</em>". Also, I've even noticed he has started picking up after himself a bit better as time goes on, it's like he actually has started thinking and seeing things he was truly blind to in the past.</p>
<p>Tamara</p>
Staff
2019-09-17T17:58:00Z
Everything Changed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Everything-Changed/970468970555993356.html
2019-09-16T17:58:00Z
2019-09-16T17:58:00Z
<p><span><span><br />I feel that the the 60's culture that turned love into something it was not meant to be. I was a teen in the mid 60's. I was taught that sex was necessary to have and keep a relationship; but that was a lie. <br /><br />I went through my whole life and had many failed relationships because of believing in this ideal.</span></span><span><span><span> I learned that relationships only lasted until the sex became boring to my man. Then he would move on to someone or something else. Commitment was easily broken. I learned I was not respected and the family institution wasn't respected. No one cared how it effected the children. Their selfishness and desire for their own comfort was all that was important. <br /></span><br /><span>It has only perpetuated further now days. Marriage is not respected. Many avoid it altogether because they know it doesn't mean anything to them. Living together for convenience is the goal. Dr. Laura, I wish you were around to guide me when I was young, I wish I was smart enough to follow your advice. I'm smart now but have wasted my early years of life. I didn't provide the best life for my three children because of my ignorance and bad choices. If I could go back and change it I would. I would hold intimacy as very special. <strong>I would not just give it away in hopes of keeping a relationship.</strong> Young women now days are even more misled into this false hope.</span></span></span></p>
<p><br /><br />What do you think changed today's view on marriage? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-09-16T17:58:00Z
Making Future Husbands
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Future-Husbands/160602610316358470.html
2019-09-13T17:58:00Z
2019-09-13T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Last month my husband of 24 years and our 2 sons, ages 21 and 19 went on a road trip. We stopped at a large, very popular, retail store to go to the bathroom and get snacks. My older son walked with my husband. My younger son 19 walked with me. I needed to go to the bathroom. He didn't need to use the restroom, so I just told him to go look for snacks and I would find him when I came out. <br /><br />He said that the store looked a little "<em>sketchy</em>" so he would rather wait for me so I wouldn't have to walk by myself. This just made my heart glad! I think both of my boys will be good husbands. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Gillian</p>
Staff
2019-09-13T17:58:00Z
Hubby Gets An A+
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hubby-Gets-An-A+/-504002746201416208.html
2019-09-12T17:58:00Z
2019-09-12T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />When did holding hands with your spouse become a thing of the past? My husband and I took the train into Chicago to do some shopping with some married friends of ours, we had a nice time. On the train ride home, the wife of my husband's friend called us out for holding hands the whole day. It almost felt like she was making fun of us. <br /><br />I thought back to earlier in the day and I felt sorry for her. The group of friends kind of laughed at us but it didn't bother me. I knew what I had and I wasn't going to let go. (My husband and I are in our late 30's, married for 18 years with 2 teenage children.) My husband still opens the car door for me and holds my hand while we are in the car. There are times we hold hands in bed. I find great comfort in holding his hand. <br /><br />An email you read the other day regarding this subject hit me. I realized my kids see how we treat each other in our marriage and they will pick up our habits. At that moment, I gave my husband and I an A+ for being great examples to our children. <br /><br />Never letting go, <br /><br />Jenny<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2019-09-12T17:58:00Z
Changed Careers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changed-Careers/880973470944107130.html
2019-09-11T17:58:00Z
2019-09-11T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I'm a stay-at-home Mom. (Thank goodness.) I been a listener since my late twenties (I'm circling 50 now). When my husband I got married, we agreed, if we were ever blessed with children, I would change careers and be a mommy instead. Listening to you further backed up my resolve.</p>
<p>After ten years of marriage, we were blessed with a beautiful little boy. My friends thought I was crazy to leave a government job after 17 years to raise our child, but I heard you in the back of my mind and pressed forward. I only wavered after 9/11 (my son was just two-months-old) because I felt guilty not being at my job and serving my country. I decided staying home and raising a well adjusted member of society was a better service to my country and I stayed strong.</p>
<p>In April of 2004, my husband passed away from a freak accident at work. My son was just 2 and a half. I don't know how we could have managed if I was still working. My son had me at home as always; someone he could rely on being there. I had a routine and someone to wake up for each day. It has been a struggle, but I see a self-confident almost ten-year-old coming home each day from school and I know I did the right thing; I can't imagine who and how he would be if I was at work.</p>
<p>Thanks for your back up. I am thankful I am my kid's mom.</p>
<p>Debra</p>
Staff
2019-09-11T17:58:00Z
Sharing Gentle Moments
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sharing-Gentle-Moments/-338645070571389967.html
2019-09-10T17:58:00Z
2019-09-10T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><span><span>When my son was a baby, I would snuggle with him in my arms and on my lap. When he got older, sometimes he would be tired or stressed. When this happened, we had what we called: a "<em>gentle moment</em>". <br /><br />This is when we would both stop whatever we were doing and hug each ot</span></span><span><span><span>her. Not a quick hug sissy hug wither! It was always a special time when either of us need it. He's 18 now but I guarantee if I asked him for a "gentle moment" he'd remember it. It means, I'm running on empty and I need to be filled with your gentle love.</span></span></span><br /><br /><br /><br />Do you and your child ever share moments like this? Tell us about it, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2019-09-10T17:58:00Z
Learning One Day At A Time
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-One-Day-At-A-Time/-812855666764747943.html
2019-09-09T17:58:00Z
2019-09-09T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br />I have been married for a little over a year and been with my husband for almost 5 years. I am a nanny and tend to spill over my nanny hood, or in other words, I find myself 'mothering' my husband sometimes. He also has expressed to me that I treat him like I am his mom. I hate hearing that because I want him to know that I do support him and that he is capable to live his own life. I struggle with nitpicking and I've been listening to you. I get it. I get it that it's not up to me what or how my husband thinks.<br /><br />He does such a great job taking care of me, putting me first, which shows he is selfless. I know he puts his needs last and I don't want him to do that. So by listening to your podcasts and reading your blog posts, it has given me some clarity on the words and thoughts I express to him. I am an old-fashioned kinda girl and I love how you describe how relationships these days are so careless and more about electronics instead. I went onto Amazon and bought your book. Looking forward to reading it and learning how to feed my husbands manhood and soul. <br /><br />Thank you, soo much for all your advice and honesty. I'm always learning one day or thought at a time! <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br /><br />Karry</p>
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Staff
2019-09-09T17:58:00Z
We Have A Responsibility
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Have-A-Responsibility/526690439034081867.html
2019-09-06T17:58:00Z
2019-09-06T17:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><span><br />We absolutely have a responsibility in how we treat others. We should always try to treat others with kindness, love, forgiveness, and accountability. <br /><br />However, we are not ultimately responsible for another person's happiness. Happiness is a choice that comes from within, regardless of what others do or environmental factors in our lives.<br /><br />Julie<br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span><br /><br />How do you feel you affect the happiness of those closest to you? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-09-06T17:58:00Z
The Guidance You Provide
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Guidance-You-Provide/925903366020161882.html
2019-09-05T17:58:00Z
2019-09-05T17:58:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>I was recently listening to your podcast when I heard you mention that you had no intention of retiring. <br /><br />For that, I wanted to take a second and send you personal Thank You! <br /><br />I have been listening to you for a long time now. Your insight provided to listeners is highly valuable, as there are no other voices like yours on radio or television that I know of. Our young people need the guidance you provide. <br /><br />Thank you again for all that you do. <br /><br />Abby</p>
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Staff
2019-09-05T17:58:00Z
To Abstain or Not to Abstain?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/To-Abstain-or-Not-to-Abstain/264425402563162017.html
2019-09-04T17:58:00Z
2019-09-04T17:58:00Z
<br />Abstinence until marriage is the best!!! It's also the BEST gift you could ever give your future spouse.<br /><br />To say you WAITED for them, instead of shacking up and throwing the benefits and blessings of marriage to the wind. If you do have sex without the blessing of marriage, you rob yourself and your partner of the best blessing you will ever know. <br /><br />Its not anything special if you don't wait.<br /><br /><br /><span>What are your thoughts on abstinence before marriage? Share with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2019-09-04T17:58:00Z
Cosmic Connection
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cosmic-Connection/-929146259446257052.html
2019-09-03T17:58:00Z
2019-09-03T17:58:00Z
<p><br />My granddaughters are self-proclaimed Lego Masters. My lovely dining room table will never host another dinner because it is completely overtaken with Lego. The older one builds them and the younger one destroys. </p>
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<div id="yiv1544748145yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1500308360027_16749" dir="ltr"><br />Today I rebuilt a castle and actually had all the pieces. I got in my car and tuned into your program and heard you talk about building the Star Wars vehicle. So crazy and timely. Rebuilding the castle by myself was a very therapeutic and engaging process. Then to hear you talk about the same thing was, as they used to say, "<em>cosmic</em>". <br /><br /> I think Legos are an amazing toy, regardless of one's age and I am feeling very validated that they have the Dr. Laura stamp of approval!!</div>
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Staff
2019-09-03T17:58:00Z
Standing Up For Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Standing-Up-For-Mom/902258079937786445.html
2019-08-30T17:58:00Z
2019-08-30T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I've been meaning to write this email since 2008. I know the year because 2008 is when the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clint_Eastwood" target="_blank">Clint Eastwood</a>'s movie <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1205489/" target="_blank">Gran Torino</a> was released. It was one of those movies that really got me pumped up. Afterwards, my husband and I went to one of our favorite pizza restaurants in the area. <br /><br />The tables are very close together so it is difficult not to be distracted by conversation at the next table. A teenage boy, speaking to his mother in such a rotten way that it had my hair standing straight up. My husband knows I am an avid Dr. Laura listener. The first thing out of my husband's voice with a grin was, "<em>Don't do it</em>." I didn't even have to speak a word to him; he knew exactly what I was talking about. Seated at the next table was a snotty teenager, his mother, and father. <br /><br />I was catching bits and pieces but the conversation. I overheard the Mother say to son, "Why don't you apply or work?" The son immediately replied in the most disrespectful, snotty tone, "<em>Why don't you just shut the F up</em>". The mother, being sweet and trying to gain the approval of her son, just kept walking in to the mud deeper and deeper with the responses from the son just getting more cruel and evil. I'm silent, listening while trying to enjoy my dinner. My husband responds again, "<em>don't get involved.</em>" If I hadn't just seen the movie Gran Torino, maybe that would have happened. I was so pumped up, that I had to say something. <br /><br />The family was ready to leave and I was ready to make my move. The husband and son were a few steps ahead of the mom. While mom was gathering her things, still at the table, I leaned over to her and asked why she would allow her son to treat her like garbage? I also said that she obviously did not marry a "<em>real</em>" man; with my voice emphasizing REAL. If she had, a real man would never allow a snot of a son to ever speak to his woman that way. She just stared down in silence, gave me a grin and walked away. <br /><br />I will never know if that short moment ever made an impact on her. I will always wonder what sort of conversation took place in the car on the way home or if she continued to be a door mat for her son. That was 8 years ago and I always think of that evening whenever we eat at that restaurant. Sorry for the 8 year delay Dr. Laura!<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever stood up for someone you saw getting pushed around? Send us an email and tell us what happened, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-08-30T17:58:00Z
We Are a Team
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Are-a-Team/447789858354414500.html
2019-08-29T17:58:00Z
2019-08-29T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />A wise couple married for over 60 years told my husband and I to never stop loving each other at the same time. Some days you won't love him and that's fine but he needs to make you fall in love again. And vice a versa. Marriage is 100% you and him not 50/50 that's a divorce. <br /><br />Watching my husband with our kids lets me know no one could love our kids like he does. It's so reassuring knowing I don't have to hide things from him, except of course the last beer! I sleep well at night knowing he's the one for me and me for him. I can't envision my life any different. He's who god put in my life. We are a team. <br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a special man in your life? Tell us about him! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-08-29T17:58:00Z
You Are Right
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Are-Right/443237962394677633.html
2019-08-28T17:58:00Z
2019-08-28T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I am happy to report that my husband of 36 years and I do most of the things you recommend! We also do something else which I think is important: we tell each other "<em>You are right</em>". <br /><br />For issues large or small, personal or casual, if one convinces the other or if events play out that favor one position over the other, we never hesitate to give credit where appropriate. Occasionally we have done this in front of family or friends, much to the horror of some. Men say "<em>Don't tell her she's right; you will never hear the end of it!</em>". Women say, "<em>I would never admit that my husband is right.</em>" <br /><br />We have developed a little back and forth to ward off comments. <br /><br />It goes like this: <br /><br /></p>
<blockquote>Me: You're right! *Pause a beat* Would you like to hear that again? <br />Husband: Yes, please. <br />Me: You're right. Again? <br />Husband: Just once more, please. <br />Me: You're right. <br />Husband: Thank you! Big smiles at each other.</blockquote>
<br />Stuns observers into silence every time.
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-08-28T17:58:00Z
He Looked Good On Paper
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Looked-Good-On-Paper/200559485054310539.html
2019-08-27T17:58:00Z
2019-08-27T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I married my best friend 24 years ago, but I should not have. <br /><br />I've heard several callers ask if they should marry a wonderful man who they love, but are not attracted to; someone who "<em>looks good on paper</em>" as you once said. Tell them NOT to do it because they will never be lovers. Well, I made this mistake and I wish I'd had this advice. We should have just remained good friends. We get along fine, but the lack of real emotional and physical intimacy has been very difficult. <br /><br />Ladies, if you want a roommate and companion go ahead and marry him. If you want a man who is your lover, husband, and life partner in every way please please please do not make the mistake that I made. I will probably leave in a few years after our kids have left home because this is not what I want between now and dead. I wish I'd waited for the right man.</p>
Staff
2019-08-27T17:58:00Z
First Love, Young Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/First-Love,-Young-Love/855502023732673305.html
2019-08-26T17:58:00Z
2019-08-26T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I met my first love working at a fast food restaurant just after high school. She was caring and a hard worker like me. She was very beautiful and had eyes that smiled all the time.</p>
<p>During our relationship which was like a whirlwind, we experienced many places and had many good times. From romantic meals to walks on the ocean, we shared some very special moments. She was also very responsible. While finishing up high school and going into college she was the one who supported her mother and brother. Family was important to her. Most of all she was very friendly to my all my friends. She became part of the group very quickly and I saw no one else who could be in my life. My friends echoed the sentiment and to this day they say the same thing. I wanted to be with no one but her and would have married her had time allowed.</p>
<p>The more I was with her, the more I did not want to be apart. Alas this was an issue, for we moved in together and that became our downfall. I had adored her too much and had in essence cut many others out of my life to be with her. When we broke up she said "<em>You did nothing wrong but maybe you should have not been so nice</em>." I ran into her just the other day after many years and still got the same sweaty palms and jitters as we talked. Though we laughed about how times had passed, I knew that in the end life turned out just fine!</p>
<p>Mr. D.</p>
Staff
2019-08-26T17:58:00Z
I Was Speechless
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Was-Speechless/210702833800196936.html
2019-08-23T17:58:00Z
2019-08-23T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I had to share this moment with my 3-year-old granddaughter. I know you will get a kick out of this. <br /><br />I am always telling her she should be a doctor she grows up. She has a little doctor kit that she uses to check your heart, your ears and take your temperature. She was sitting on my lap looking at one of her books when I asked her, "<em>What do you want to be when you grow up? A doctor?</em>" She said nothing. <br /><br />Her mother sitting across from me asked her again, "<em>What do you want to be when you grow up?" Without looking up or skipping a beat, she said "I just want to be Katie.</em>" I told her that would be fine with me! <br /><br />I was speechless. A child coming up with that answer was incredible! <br /><br /><br /><br />Has your child or grandchild ever said something that made you smile? Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-08-23T17:58:00Z
Coming Out Of My Slump
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Coming-Out-Of-My-Slump/-749388281888611744.html
2019-08-22T17:58:00Z
2019-08-22T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I was in a slump and overwhelmed with trivial things. I took a little drive to view some Texas surroundings and listened to your program. Just listening to your conversations with callers and a brief lecture that you shared, really helped me put things in perspective. <br /><br />Here are my takeaways:</p>
<ol>
<li>I am important! If I left for a few days, what would my world look like at work and at home? </li>
<br />
<li>I feel like I am in a slump with the man I am dating. So when he calls or texts, what am I bringing to the conversation? Small chat from the day, but also trying to spice things up a little! </li>
</ol>
<p><br />Thank you for your insight! I love listening to you!</p>
Staff
2019-08-22T17:58:00Z
Too Busy For Counseling
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Too-Busy-For-Counseling/249447259169270159.html
2019-08-21T17:58:00Z
2019-08-21T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />As a listener for many years, I always admire and agree with your advice to couples to get premarital counseling. However, my second thought is that very few will take your advice. Young people are just too busy....or so they think. <br /><br />I have been married twice. The first time was for 13 long years. They were long because I should have gone to premarital counseling. I was too young. My second marriage is going on its 26 year. I have been fortunate to have married a 10. I can see how counseling would have solidified my second choice and helped me to be a better wife. I love your commitment to children and family. God Bless you.</p>
<br /><br /><br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-08-21T17:58:00Z
An Amazing Gift
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/An-Amazing-Gift/-12666059484460707.html
2019-08-20T17:58:00Z
2019-08-20T17:58:00Z
<p> </p>
<span><span>My husband and I have helped our daughter through her arrest, addiction recovery, an d pregnancy. Now have her and our beautiful 9 month old granddaughter living with us. Ayear ago we were empty nesters. <br /><br />It's been a blessing to see the growth and c</span></span><span><span><span>hange in our daughter, as this beautiful baby has literally saved her life. However hard it might sometimes seem, is swallowed up in that amazing baby, love and family.</span></span></span><br /><br /><br /><br />What bad habit have you risen above? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
Staff
2019-08-20T17:58:00Z
I Was Speechless
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Was-Speechless/-16483992031781821.html
2019-08-19T17:58:00Z
2019-08-19T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I had to share this moment with my 3-year-old granddaughter. I know you will get a kick out of this. <br /><br />I am always telling her she should be a doctor she grows up. She has a little doctor kit that she uses to check your heart, your ears and take your temperature. She was sitting on my lap looking at one of her books when I asked her, "<em>What do you want to be when you grow up? A doctor?</em>" She said nothing. <br /><br />Her mother sitting across from me asked her again, "<em>What do you want to be when you grow up?</em>" Without looking up or skipping a beat, she said "<em>I just want to be Katie.</em>" I told her that would be fine with me! <br /><br />I was speechless. A child coming up with that answer was incredible! <br /><br /><br /><br />Has your child or grandchild ever said something that made you smile? Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-08-19T17:58:00Z
I Know My Purpose
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Know-My-Purpose/-477487797296676505.html
2019-08-16T17:58:00Z
2019-08-16T17:58:00Z
<p> </p>
<span><span>All I have to do is step back and look at my life. My purpose is to be the best wife, mom (eventually grandma), friend and nurse to my dying patients. <br /><br />What I do for a living is more than a job, it is a calling. When someone dies, I make it as heart</span></span><span><span><span>warming for the family as possible. I have the family pick out an outfit for their loved one after they pass and I dress them in it. Sometimes I lotion their skin. I make it as natural looking as possible. I want to make them look like they were simply taking a nap before a night on the town. I put a lot of love in my care, whether my people are dead or alive.</span></span></span><br /><br /><br /><br />What do you think your purpose is? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
Staff
2019-08-16T17:58:00Z
Living at Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Living-at-Home/761199568480852447.html
2019-08-15T17:57:00Z
2019-08-15T17:57:00Z
<p><br />After college, I had the opportunity to take a job in my hometown. The pay was so low, I would have to live at home. My mother said "<em>No</em>". She said if I didn't break out of my comfort zone and spread my wings at that time, I never would. A couple of weeks later, I got another opportunity in much larger city. I am so grateful for the "tough love" from my parents which pushed me to keep looking and launched a wonderful career in a profession I love.</p>
<p>Contrary to that: my ex-in-laws harbor their oldest son (he's pushing 50). They lost everything in the real estate collapse and only live off social security... and their grown son lives with them, does not work (he owes 30K in back child support) and doesn't even do chores. Their financial condition is such they may go on food stamps. It infuriates me, so I limit contact will all involved. They've made excuses for him all of his life and continue to do so to their detriment, and that of my child (their grandchild). I can't imagine a grandparent willing to tolerate and fully support a capable adult child who won't work, making them financially unable to drive to see their grandchildren.<br /><br />E.</p>
Staff
2019-08-15T17:57:00Z
A Frog Is A Frog
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Frog-Is-A-Frog/-864998207358777626.html
2019-08-14T17:58:00Z
2019-08-14T17:58:00Z
<p><span><br /></span><br />I tell my 1st grade girls that the story of the '<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Frog_Prince" target="_blank">Frog Prince</a>' is wrong. No matter how many times you kiss a frog they will ALWAYS be a frog. <br /><br />So when dating, if you can't live the other person's warts, leave promptly and go to another lily pad. You can't love away another person's short comings. People only change things when they are motivated to change. <br /><br />One must decide, before marriage, if another person's short comings are something they can live with forever. <br /><br />Cheryl<br /><br /><br /><br />What do you tell your kidlets about dating? Tell us why, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2019-08-14T17:58:00Z
Thank You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You/989338686308203104.html
2019-08-13T17:58:00Z
2019-08-13T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><span id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1500399560459_68287"><span id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1500399560459_68289">My husband and I recently drove from Manhattan to Houston to Dallas to Austin to Oklahoma City and then back to Manhattan; 95% of that drive time was spent listening to your show. </span><br id="yiv1289129579yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1498495043778_215630" /><br id="yiv1289129579yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1498495043778_215631" /><span id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1500399560459_68286">My husband and I have been together for five years and married just over a year now. While dating we started listening to your program and it gives us some incredible insight on how to treat one another and handle those difficult times. I find myself thinking, "<em>what would Dr. Laura tell me to do?</em>" When faced with difficult decisions inside and out of my marital relationship. </span><br id="yiv1289129579yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1498495043778_215633" /><br id="yiv1289129579yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1498495043778_215634" /><span id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1500399560459_68288">My husband loves and believes in your words so much that when his brother got married two years ago, he gave his bride to be your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1499721125&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Proper+Care+and+Feeding+of+Husbands" target="_blank">The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands</a></em>".</span><br id="yiv1289129579yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1498495043778_215636" /><br id="yiv1289129579yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1498495043778_215637" /><span id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1500399560459_68305">I just wanted to say "<em>Thank You</em>" for your work and genuine care for your listeners. </span></span></p>
Staff
2019-08-13T17:58:00Z
Your Influence
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Your-Influence/-733484149195584719.html
2019-08-12T17:58:00Z
2019-08-12T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I have been listener since I was at least 8, I'm 24 now, and I just want to say thank you. Your show, your advice, and your charisma have influenced my life in so many ways.</p>
<ul>
<li>You're career inspired me to become a couples counselor, so that I can help people just as you have. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Your advice helped my parents choose to stay together years ago and work through their issues. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Your advice continues to influence me today in my new marriage. </li>
</ul>
<p>The values you stand for and promote are exactly what my husband and I try to implement in our home on a daily basis. Thank you for all that you do, and I hope you have a wonderful day! <br /><br />Off to do the right thing, <br /><br />Lori<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you try to do the right thing? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-08-12T17:58:00Z
It's Never Worth It
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Never-Worth-It/491032658369386816.html
2019-08-09T17:58:00Z
2019-08-09T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />I did not hear your opening about infidelity affecting children. However, I want to share my story because I lived it. I destroyed my family.</p>
<p>My husband was a Mama's boy and favored his family over me and our daughters. He moved us around and I worked full time to help support us. Angered at my situation I lashed out by cheating, with 2 different men.</p>
<p>I desperately wanted to feel love from someone who could adore me for me, not just for the money I could provide. I was not there for my daughters. They were told by their father exactly what their mother did to destroy the family. It has been a long hard road from that day 15 years ago.</p>
<p>Long since divorced, I still struggle to regain my daughters trust. Those men I cheated with? Long gone. Never in a million years would I go back and repeat what I did. PLEASE tell your listeners. <strong>DO NOT CHEAT. IT IS NOT, EVER, WORTH IT.</strong></p>
<p><br /><br />Have you ever had an affair? What happened as the ultimate result? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-08-09T17:58:00Z
Adjusting to Motherhood!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Adjusting-to-Motherhood!/-478564603914359229.html
2019-08-08T17:58:00Z
2019-08-08T17:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>After hearing your comments regarding the adjustment time it takes to motherhood, I have to say thank you!</p>
<p>I am a very happily married mother of 2 young (and VERY BUSY!!!!) boys! I was happy to hear the adjustment period is normal! It's definitely something that scared me with my first! I had always wanted to be a SAHM with my kids and I was not lucky to have one, although I had a very hard working mom!</p>
<p>I wanted to SHOUT at the radio and say, "Caller, you aren't alone girl!"</p>
<p>The adjustment period was very difficult for me, BUT after that initial 'hump', things made a complete 180 degree turn around! I LOVE being my kids' mom and watching them grow and progress!</p>
<p>I've also admitted to my husband "I WANT 3 MORE!!"</p>
<p>Thank you!</p>
<p>Meghan</p>
Staff
2019-08-08T17:58:00Z
Taking Care Of Business
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-Care-Of-Business/-992796019239480972.html
2019-08-07T17:58:00Z
2019-08-07T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My 17-year-old niece was going to the homecoming dance with a male friend and two other couples. My sister and I dropped her off at a parent's house, so we could meet the boy and his mother. <br /><br />When my niece introduced me to the boy, I slid up to him and put my arm around his shoulder. Then, smiling like The "<em>Don</em>" in a <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068646/" target="_blank">Godfather movie</a>, I said, "I've known this young lady since the moment she entered this world. I expect you to have her home safely by midnight". Then, while squeezing this football player's shoulder with ever increasing pressure, I continued, "...I have lots of money...AND I know people..." <br /><br />I swear I don't know what came over me! It was as though I was possessed. Partly, it's just in my nature. I don't really panic in emergency situations. I'm a doctor, and once, at a duplicate bridge tournament, I successfully defibrillated & resuscitated a man in full cardiac arrest. Then I went back to the table to make my 4 spades contract. <br /><br />Thanks for clarifying for me that I'm truly alpha male and for supporting me when I "<em>take care of business</em>". <br /><br />Jerry<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you "take care of business" when your child goes on a date? Tell us how, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2019-08-07T17:58:00Z
Family Is More Important
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Family-Is-More-Important/-446476516394587139.html
2019-08-06T17:58:00Z
2019-08-06T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I put together a small list of things that I won't have to worry about, because I am an avid and true listener. I thought you would get a kick out of this list. Enjoy!<br /><br /></p>
<ol>
<li>I won't have to worry about how much milk or how many bottles I to send to daycare.</li>
<br />
<li>I won't have to stress about where to put my babies when they are "<em>too sick</em>" to go to daycare.</li>
<br />
<li>I don't have to stress out about writing names on all of my babies clothes and personal items.</li>
<br />
<li>I don't have to stress out that my husband may be getting emotional support from a co-worker or friend because I AM not present to full fill his needs at home.</li>
<br />
<li>I won't ever have to accept the phrase "d<em>on't worry just order dinner"</em> or "<em>don't worry they'll just get used to it.</em>" </li>
</ol>
<p><br />I will never have to worry about all the failures that come with having a child that I cannot care for, because work was "<em>more important</em>". I just wanted to remind you that I am listening to all that you have to say and my life has totally changed because of it!<br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Amy<br /> <br /><br /><br />How has your life changed since listening to Dr. Laura? We'd like to know! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-08-06T17:58:00Z
Singing My Own Tune
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Singing-My-Own-Tune/787822763140060939.html
2019-08-05T17:58:00Z
2019-08-05T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been listening to you since before the start of this century. Although I can't recall the particulars this phone call to your program, one point of it struck me and gave me something to think about. Some time back, a female caller seemed lost in finding her identity and confused as to where she belonged in life. This resulted in her stating that she wanted "your life." You responded with a bit of ire, telling her she "couldn't have it". I laughed. <br /><br />It made me reflect on two things:</p>
<ol>
<li>A bluegrass song I used to sing, The song is called "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Chasing-Someone-Elses-Dreams/dp/B00JWO2B0W" target="_blank">Chasing Someone Else's Dreams</a></em>".</li>
<br />
<li>My own identity. </li>
</ol>
<p><br />I, along with so many others, admire you for your sound and sensible messages. This is evident throughout all your media outlets. I would imagine that the caller is not alone in wanting your life. What I have learned from your response, validated by the words of this simple tune, is that people need to first realize and then capitalize on their own gifts and strengths. They need turn can'ts into cans and convert their dreams into reality. <br /><br />I appreciate your candor. Sometimes we "get it" with a mere gentle tap on the shoulder or perhaps an elbow to the rib; other times, it takes the brunt of a brick. I think I felt the throb of the latter. I need to get determined to sing to "my own tune." Thanks for your years of wise advice. You never know when it can be life changing. <br /><br />Jane<br /><br /><br /><br />What kind of tune do you sing? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2019-08-05T17:58:00Z
Sweet Memories
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sweet-Memories/-860265404908780236.html
2019-08-01T17:58:00Z
2019-08-01T17:58:00Z
<p><br />One of my favorite things that I remember about my grandma was that she was always giving us sweet treats. My mom was telling me that when I was little, my grandma wouldn't just give me a dish of ice cream. She would set the whole carton of ice cream before me and just gave me a spoon! Lol. <br /><br />My mom is not like that at all. She grand parents the same way she parented. She doesn't spoil my son and my nieces, but spends time with them. When they are with her she does things with them that they all enjoy. The time they have together is special and memorable. <br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a favorite memory of your grandparents? Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-08-01T17:58:00Z
Bored Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bored-Children/-53469386535695070.html
2019-07-31T17:58:00Z
2019-07-31T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />I think it's important to raise children in a manner that sparks creativity in them. Interacting early on with your child as well as giving them the opportunity to entertain themselves are important. Every minute of the day cannot be scheduled for them. They need time when they should be able to choose whether to listen to music, read, climb a tree, get other kids to play, etc. In my opinion, children that have too many things available to them seem to easily become bored. I believe if you give your kiddo plenty of your attention and guidance you won't have a bored kid. <br /><br />When my daughter was 3 we lived in a small apt and in the summer we went to the pool every morning and swam till lunch time. We'd go home have lunch and some quiet time. Some afternoons we'd go back to the pool for a few hours. Sometimes we'd go to the park or I'd briskly walk behind her as she peddled her tricycle. Rainy days we'd pull out "stuff" I had collected for the craft box and make refrigerator art, etc. We'd play age-appropriate board games: Chutes and Ladders was a favorite. When Daddy came home, she would rush to the door to tell him what had occupied her day. <br /><br />As she got older, and her brother came along, we continued doing things which might be boring to other people but at the time we didn't have a lot of money for extras. Fridays, I'd make pizza dough and everyone could top their own pizza however they liked. We usually had another kid or two at our house for homemade pizza. The kids loved it. I'd often overhear a child whisper to my son, "Will you ask your mom if I can stay for dinner?". <br /><br />Looking back, I realize I gave my kids more with less. My kids are smart and creative. Some of their friends call my husband and me, Dad and Mom. I treasure that. <br /><br />Last August, we became grandparents. We were blessed with a little girl. I know how much we love our children and son-in-law, but this little girl has my heart in her little hands. She's not quite a year, but I treasure every moment I get to hold her. I dream of all the silly little things I will do with her: sitting in the grass and making a clover necklace, feeding birds at the beach or at a park, dying Easter eggs, swimming, going to the zoo, playing mini golf, having a tea party and the list goes on. I have a million things I can think of we'll do and I know in my heart this new child will never be bored. I can see how she looks at things with curiosity and wonder. Those traits don't allow for boredom to ever take hold. <br /><br />Maria</p>
Staff
2019-07-31T17:58:00Z
Never Ending Caramels
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Never-Ending-Caramels/586992567544202219.html
2019-07-30T17:58:00Z
2019-07-30T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />My soulmate for many years was so good with helping keep the spark in our marriage.<br /><br />Each Valentine's Day he would give me a box of candy. I loved the candy, however, there were never enough caramels. Knowing this, my husband would purchase an extra box of caramels. Any time someone took a piece of candy, he would replace the empty spot with a new caramel. This way there were always caramels after Valentine's Day. <br /><br />I've always known about this but I keep that a secret. It's such a loving gesture that I just enjoy the love. <br /><br /><br />What does your spouse do to make you feel special? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-07-30T17:58:00Z
Focus On The Big Stuff
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Focus-On-The-Big-Stuff/-99259558894228074.html
2019-07-29T17:58:00Z
2019-07-29T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I found out first hand that there are times when you just need to let things go, in order to concentrate on what is truly important. <br /><br />Years ago, when I was a nurses aide, it was frequently short staffed. Needless to say, we were getting discouraged. I made a point to try to boost the morale, not only for myself, but for everyone else. <br /><br />When it was someone's birthday I would baked them a cake. For Valentine's Day, I made Valentine posters for every floor of the building and hung them up for everyone to enjoy. I even helped out the gal in the activities department. <br /><br />In time I found that I really loved my job and looked forward to coming to work, regardless of the work load.<br /><br /><br /><br />How do YOU let go, so that you can focus on what is really important? We'd like to know! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-07-29T17:58:00Z
Dad Told Me To Never Give Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dad-Told-Me-To-Never-Give-Up/-149256345518298425.html
2019-07-26T17:58:00Z
2019-07-26T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I am very blessed with my parents. Both of them. I will always remember my Dad telling me I could do anything that I dedicated myself to. To never give up. <br /><br />To this day he always tells me that you can be successful not from intelligence, but from discipline. I have to study perhaps harder than others, but I will graduate with my RN, BSN in May! I truly owe it all to my amazing parents. They instilled in me to work hard and to earn it!<br /><br /><br /><br />What are you grateful for? We'd like to know! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-07-26T17:58:00Z
Life Is Good, Don't Give Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Life-Is-Good,-Dont-Give-Up/-873258509202995417.html
2019-07-25T17:54:00Z
2019-07-25T17:54:00Z
<p><br />I'm happy to report that I am living my dream! I made the choice to never give up on my dream. I didn't pay a lot of attention to how long it took to get here. I'm just happy I made it.<br /><br />Two years ago, I told my husband that I wanted another horse before I was too old to ride. He said go for it! I hadn't ridden in almost 20 years. I was 61-years-old back then. Now I have my dream horse! I'm trail riding three days a week. I've also joined a mounted drill team. I've also been making friends. I met a lady that is now 83 and she rides everyday! Life is good! <br /><br /><br />What's your dream? We'd like to know! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-07-25T17:54:00Z
Changing For The Better
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-For-The-Better/-326303285506377245.html
2019-07-24T17:58:00Z
2019-07-24T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I am so grateful for your program. Thank you for helping make my marriage stronger, and better. <br /><br />I had terrible role models, but was lucky enough to have parents who stayed married. My husband and I just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. Listening to you for the past 6 years has changed my thinking completely and certainly for the better. <br /><br />You are an angel on earth doing God's work. Thank you and God bless you, Dr. Laura. <br /><br /><br /><br />What are you grateful for? We'd like to know! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-07-24T17:58:00Z
Think, Before You Believe
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Think,-Before-You-Believe/-949544020860093270.html
2019-07-23T17:58:00Z
2019-07-23T17:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody"><br />Everybody is entitled to their opinions. One thing I have learned is to ask myself if there is any truth to what someone says. <br /><br />If someone bases an opinion on what someone else says and they do not have all the facts, just give them a dismissive wave. Sometimes other peoples' opinions are not even worth the space in your brain.<br /><br />Just my thoughts. Thanks for the daily reminder to stick to the facts!<br /><br /></span></span></span>Lorie</p>
<br /><br /><br />Do you have a friend in your life that gossips? Tell us how you handle your friendship,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2019-07-23T17:58:00Z
What I'm Thankful For
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Im-Thankful-For/168929616148554685.html
2019-07-22T17:58:00Z
2019-07-22T17:58:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Last week I celebrated my birthday with my family. My wife had my friends play a game in which they had to answer questions about me, to see how well they knew me. <br /><ol> </ol>The next day I made a list of 10 questions, so that my 9 and 15 year old daughters could also play the game. I'm thankful to say they got the two most important questions right. <br /><ol>
<li>"Who does Dada love most?" They both answered, "Mama!" </li>
<br />
<li>"What is Dada's favorite thing to do?" Again they answered in unison, "To spend time with us!" </li>
</ol>One of my goals is to make it crystal clear to my daughters that I love them and my wife more than anything else. I'm thankful they got the message. <br /><br />Best regards, <br /><br />Pat <br /><br /><br /><br />Have you had a proud parenting moment? Tell us about it,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2019-07-22T17:58:00Z
Thank You From the Bottom of My Heart
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You-From-the-Bottom-of-My-Heart/-239365206159324926.html
2019-07-19T17:58:00Z
2019-07-19T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Thank you for your strong, positive conversation with my husband. You said everything I was hoping you might say regarding his sadness and how he needed to find the purpose and joy in his life again. <br /><br />After your call, we had a good conversation about the changes we will make to allow him to open this next chapter of his life. For the first time in a long time, he seems relieved. <br /><br />I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are an amazing woman and speaking with you has helped more than you may know. Take good care of yourself --- we need you and love you. <br /><br />Love,<br /><br />Jen<br /><br /><br /><br />Has calling the show helped you? Send us an email and share your experience by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-07-19T17:58:00Z
Fixing My Future
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fixing-My-Future/644919511715585930.html
2019-07-18T17:58:00Z
2019-07-18T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Originally I called you and asked about helping my 5-year-old, I wanted to help him deal with not feeling loved by his father. I had my son without being married. After you tore me a new and asked me why I was having unprotected sex, I used a cop-out and stated it was because of "<em>stupidity</em>". <br /><br />I have been listening to your podcast for hours a night while I'm at work, and have realized I used a cop-out instead of being transparent; because it was easier than dealing with the truth. Truth be told, I have come to realize, I am a broken person. I realize that I've always found "<em>broken</em>" people because I, myself have been broken and didn't want to be vulnerable to love. Love, or what I thought was "<em>love</em>" as a child, hurt. And I didn't want to be hurt. So here I am, a single mother to a wonderful boy. But so desperately not wanting to repeat mistakes my parents made.<br /><br />I will look into some family therapy to deal with the inevitable issues. I want nothing more for him than the best life for my son. I have and will always take your advice and not invite any new men into his life. I have been single and will remain that way until he is raised and out of the home. I will continue to work nights, so I can be his mommy during the day, and I will also be homeschooling. I have you to thank for these decisions. Thank you for all you do!<br /><br /><br /><br />DO you have a mental health tip you'd like to share? Send us an email by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-07-18T17:58:00Z
If I Never Found You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/If-I-Never-Found-You/905885568557090283.html
2019-07-17T17:59:00Z
2019-07-17T17:59:00Z
<p><br />I would not be in a healthy relationship today, if I had not found you on podcast. My boyfriend recommended I listen to you to learn about how women really think or don't think when in a relationship. He has been an avid listener for years. <br /><br />We have been dating for 14 months and following your recommendation to really get to know all of our values and beliefs. Since have met I him we have gotten into some very deep discussions about everything under the sun. I walk several miles a day with my dog and listen to your podcasts. <br /><br />I would have never been able to get the guts to invest in a good man like this if I did not listen to your advice. <br /><br />Thank you! <br /><br />Rayne<br /><br /><br />What have you learned from listening to the show? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-07-17T17:59:00Z
Safety First
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Safety-First/-141471393235895105.html
2019-07-16T17:58:00Z
2019-07-16T17:58:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />We don't do what most couples do, but it shows me that we love each other. Today we took an 8 mile hike together. That is all I need. My husband shows me every single day how much he loves me, by bringing me coffee. <br /><br />It doesn't stop there either, he continues by washing the dishes every night and making sure that I always drive a clean car. To top that off, he even ensures that I always have gas in my car.<br /><br />He looks after my safety and my welfare. That's our love. <br /><br /><br />How do you show your spouse that you love them? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2019-07-16T17:58:00Z
Enjoy This Beautiful Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Enjoy-This-Beautiful-Life/312325914721747271.html
2019-07-15T17:58:00Z
2019-07-15T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Happy birthday Dr. Laura! <br /><br />You are a great woman, who saves people every day for this difficult world. I hope you took some extra time for you on this special birthday and relaxed. <br /><br />Although, I don't have Sirius radio anymore, you are still in my thoughts every day. I used to sit during chemo and listen to you. You gave me strength, wisdom, and love. For that, I am truly thankful. I still brag that I received flowers from you after my cancer diagnosis! Your flowers were a great surprise and so thoughtful. Thank you for making me smile in my darkest days. <br /><br />Thank you for always being there and telling the truth, even when it's hard for us to hear it. Love you and I am wishing you many more birthdays. <br /><br />Smile, relax, and enjoy this beautiful life. <br /><br /><br /><br />Did you want to say Happy Birthday to Dr. Laura? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-07-15T17:58:00Z
Fit & Healthy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fit--Healthy/-126864748972440744.html
2019-07-12T17:58:00Z
2019-07-12T17:58:00Z
<p><br />This morning something that happened made me think of you. A lady came into my store at 5:30 am today, she had blonde hair and she was wearing spandex shorts. <br /><br />She made me think of you because she was so fit. I know that you said you live in workout clothes, I thought of you. Everyone was giving her a look like, "<em>what are you wearing?</em>" I went up to her and said, "<em>Good morning and you look amazing!</em>" <br /><br />She thanked me and told me she is 69-years-old. She told me that I made her day because most people just stair at her during this time of year, and don't say anything. I told her she is the type of person all us women should aspire to be fit and healthy! Anyway she reminded me of you so had to tell ya. <br /><br />Have a great day!!<br /><br /></p>
<p> <br /><br />How do you try to stay fit and healthy? We'd like to know! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-07-12T17:58:00Z
Kindness Rekindles Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Kindness-Rekindles-Love/822725593442050589.html
2019-07-11T17:58:00Z
2019-07-11T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just wanted to send a quick note to thank you for truly making my marriage great. My wife listens to you every day and models what a true soulmate is. I am truly blessed. <br /><br />Your advice, if heeded, will help heal a lot of folks. Although, it seems like they also have to leave their motives behind. If we truly reach out to help our spouse, the kindness will rekindle love. <br /><br />Greg <br /><br /><br /><br />Has Dr. Laura said something that stuck with you? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-07-11T17:58:00Z
I'm Not Going To Waste A Second Chance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Not-Going-To-Waste-A-Second-Chance/156703851480091611.html
2019-07-10T17:58:00Z
2019-07-10T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />After about 11 years of marriage, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce and moved out. We then remarried years later. While reflecting on my relationship with her, I realized I had done many things wrong including and beginning with not treating her like the magnificent woman she is. I have been thinking about things because at this point in time, our new lease on marriage was having a hard time. We just weren't connecting like we should.<br /><br />One day, I was walking back from the kitchen to the TV room when I looked at our two recliners with the table between them and thought that could be part of the problem. The next day while she was at work I took both of the recliners out of the living room. When she got home she asked what had happened. I told her I missed snuggling with her on the couch. <br /><br />That night we laughed, joked and cuddled on the couch and we've been doing that ever since. Funny how two pieces of furniture could almost destroy something so beautiful. Thank you for all that you do Your wisdom is very much valued in our home. </p>
Staff
2019-07-10T17:58:00Z
Doing The Right Thing Isn't Easy But It's Worth It
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Doing-The-Right-Thing-Isnt-Easy-But-Its-Worth-It/-215976904711332565.html
2019-07-09T17:58:00Z
2019-07-09T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura. I've been following your advice since I found Stars on my XM radio in December 2016. I'm a single mother, and thought I had to meet a man and have him in my life for a role model for my child. After making a few changes, including no more sex outside if marriage, my life has been filled with sadness and joy.<br /><br /> Sadness, because my significant other broke his promise to me, and found another. I guess he could not have a relationship with me without the sex. Yes, I'm very sad, but this is my time to be sad, and mourn the loss of that long relationship. I'm letting go of my old relationship behaviors. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. <br /><br />Warmly, <br /><br />Your Devoted Listener</p>
Staff
2019-07-09T17:58:00Z
Kindness Rekindles Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Kindness-Rekindles-Love/-926560279111064816.html
2019-07-08T17:58:00Z
2019-07-08T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just wanted to send a quick note to thank you for truly making my marriage great. My wife listens to you every day and models what a true soulmate is. I am truly blessed. <br /><br />Your advice, if heeded, will help heal a lot of folks. Although, it seems like they also have to leave their motives behind. If we truly reach out to help our spouse, the kindness will rekindle love. <br /><br />Greg <br /><br /><br /><br />Has Dr. Laura said something that stuck with you? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-07-08T17:58:00Z
Finally Validated
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finally-Validated/827972346510280320.html
2019-07-03T17:58:00Z
2019-07-03T17:58:00Z
<br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have listened to you for about 15 years. I want to share a positive story, one in which I was finally validated by your book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Bad-Childhood-Good-Life-Blossom-Childhood/dp/0060577878" target="_blank"><em>"Bad Childhood, Good Life</em></a>". I grew up in a very abusive home by a very abusive mother. She told me a story of how she didn't want me. She didn't name me until I was several days old and didn't hold me until then either. She finally held me, on the word of her brother. She only named me for him. When I was 4 she sent me to live with my great Aunt. <br /><br />After 4 years, she remarried. Even though she was remarried, I wanted my Aunt adopt me. My father would not allow the adoption. I went back to live with my mom, my new stepfather and siblings. I was treated like Cinderella from then on. I took on every extra-curricular activity I could at school, to be away from home as much as I could. <br /><br />I want you to know that when I finally read your book, I finally felt validated that what my mother did abuse. I knew what I went thru was not right, but I always felt alone in this. <br /><br />Thank you for writing this book! It helped me heal. Better late than never. I am a mother of 2 sons and never let my mother near them. I lived 3,000 miles away while raising them so they wouldn't suffer negativity from her. I am glad I did. They are now good fathers and husbands. I am proud of them. I put myself in counseling when my boys were small but your book was the best medicine in the end. I still listen to you each day. Thank you.<br /><br /><br />Have you ever been treated bad and not realized until later? What made you realize what was happening and how did you change it? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2019-07-03T17:58:00Z
I Should Have Been More Responsible
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Should-Have-Been-More-Responsible/-504106891372855758.html
2019-07-02T17:58:00Z
2019-07-02T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I could be the best example for how not to live your life! I did it all wrong! <br /><br />Please let this list of things that I did, be things that you NEVER do: <br /><br /></p>
<ul>
<li>I Let my mother take over with my daughter, when I should have been "Mommy" </li>
<br />
<li>I married her father and divorced him when my daughter was only 3 months old.</li>
<br />
<li>We were very young, I was just 18 and he was 20. Too young for this responsibility</li>
</ul>
<br />My Mom didn't instill responsibly in me. I know I wanted it but it was easy to justify wrong doing when "<em>responsibility</em>" was never a part of my life. I sure wish I had you in my life then. Thank you for all the help you give to your followers! I have learned a lot from you! Keep up the good work!
<p><br />I wish everyone listened to you! We would have a better world! <br /><br /><br /><br />Has Dr. Laura said something that stuck with you? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-07-02T17:58:00Z
Your Words Made The Difference
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Your-Words-Made-The-Difference/504126556750646142.html
2019-07-01T17:58:00Z
2019-07-01T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I am writing because I wanted to thank you for offering advice to a caller 21 years ago. A kind and bright young woman was struggling with her sense of self-worth and trying to figure out her place in the world and in the relationships that were to shape her future. You told her that the capacity of her parents to love is not a reflection of her value or how much she should be loved. <br /><br />The point of my message is to let you know, that your words have made all the difference for me. I was a newlywed then and am still married to same wonderful man. My parents died 10 years and 16 years after the day I heard your call. I am sure that your advice gave me the perspective and courage to be more loving to them and to have a healthier perspective. So thank you. Your compassion is remarkable and memorable. <br /><br /><br /><br />Has Dr. Laura said something that stuck with you? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-07-01T17:58:00Z
Fight or flight?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fight-or-flight/975122221774386864.html
2019-06-28T17:58:00Z
2019-06-28T17:58:00Z
<br />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I had a decision to make recently regarding when to stand your ground or let it go. <br /><br />I was at my nephew's wedding with my family, sitting in the 2nd row when the grandparents of the ring bearer and flower girl (no relation to our families) demanded our seats. The grandfather said they needed to be by the kids. When we asked the wedding coordinator, she assured us the front row seats included space for the kids and one parent. The grandfather continued to make a scene, as there were no seats available, except in the back. I told him the first few rows were reserved for the immediate family of the groom. <br /><br />With the wedding about to start and this man still making a scene, I told my husband, "<em>I don't want to ruin memories of this day fighting over seats. Let's go.</em>" We sat in the back and could not see much of the ceremony. I felt cheated out of seeing my nephew's wedding that day, but was glad to hear afterwards the bride and groom never knew what happened. My brother was furious when he found out and was going to talk to his "<em>friend</em>", (the grandfather) about it. I don't know what happened after that, but I know I did the right thing. <br /><br />Annie</p>
Staff
2019-06-28T17:58:00Z
When my Husband and I Fight
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-my-Husband-and-I-Fight/35494977947624636.html
2019-06-27T17:58:00Z
2019-06-27T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Whenever my husband and I have a major disagreement about something, we remind each other that the walls have ears, meaning our KIDS' ears. That, in turn, reminds us to we show our kids we can resolve disputes without yelling at one another, so they will learn they too should use that approach. <br /><br />And the most important thing is to hear each other out before we make judgments. In other words, don't jump to crazy conclusions about things before both sides are heard. <br /><br />Our kids are learning from our examples, and we continue to learn from each other. <br /><br />Thank You for all you do. <br /><br />Sandy<br /><br /><br /> </p>
Staff
2019-06-27T17:58:00Z
Changing Lives
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-Lives/-986659802336696521.html
2019-06-26T17:58:00Z
2019-06-26T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />I called the other day and I had to write in to thank you. Thank you for your wisdom and point of view. You said many of the things that I have thought and tried to communicate, but was never effectively able to get across. <br /><br />After our call, my wife and I had a very good discussion. For the first time, in what feels like years, my wife opened up deeply with me. She actually took accountability for her entitlement and resentment against me. In her words, she was: "Being a brat and vindictive". This is huge! Before our call with you, everything bad has been completely MY fault; leaving her as the victim. I cannot understate how big of a paradigm shift this is for her. How big of a step she is taking here. I am gaining hope again. <br /><br />I pray that we use this moment of clarity and both work towards lifelong changes. I want to be here for her and protect that tenderness and vulnerability she has shown me. You are changing lives; you are truly one of our greatest national treasures that we have. God bless you Dr. Laura. I will call you again as we walk through this. <br /><br />Ted<br /><br /><br />Have you ever been helped by Dr. Laura? Tell us how. Signup for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-06-26T17:58:00Z
Bring It On
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bring-It-On/196094272130309656.html
2019-06-25T17:58:00Z
2019-06-25T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Mama Laura, <br /><br />You are seriously a mom to me. You have saved my life and made life better for my son, Matthew. He is an amazing young man and you are the reason. I always say to him, "<em>Dr. Laura would claim you as her grandkid!</em>" and he knows that is the biggest complement he could ever receive. <br /><br />He is 14 years old and a true warrior spirit. When he was in 7th grade he got between a bratty bully and another smaller kid at his baseball game. The brat was calling the other kid "<em>gay</em>" and along with other names. Matt stepped in and told him to knock it off. The kid threatened Matt with a baseball bat. All Matt said was "<em>Bring it on</em>". Another kid told the coach and the kid was kicked off the team. My son hangs out with good kids, but not one of them ever sticks up for another in the face of danger or mean people. <br /><br />I have seen my son stick up for so many. He has even spoken out to teachers that were being awful to students. I am here to tell you thought that my son's warrior spirit has been cultivated and strengthened by you. <br /><br />It has happened because:</p>
<ul>
<li>I listened to you and made really good life choices. </li>
<br />
<li>I have feed my husband and nurtured my marriage. </li>
<br />
<li>I have been a stay at home mom and invested in him. </li>
<br />
<li>I have been thankful and blessed that I only got one child. </li>
<br />
<li>I married a real man and let him be a strong influence. </li>
</ul>
<p><br />I could go on and on! There are so many more things I could tell you but I covered the one value that I think you will love the most. <br /><br />Respectfully, <br /><br />Your Daughter by Proxy Monica<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Is your child a hero to you? Tell us why, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2019-06-25T17:58:00Z
Dating My Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dating-My-Husband/-852670520371134195.html
2019-06-24T17:58:00Z
2019-06-24T17:58:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />When our 3 children were younger my husband and I agreed to start dating. Once a month we would go on a date. The even months, I would plan the date and arrange for a babysitter. The odd months, he would do the same. The rules were we could not go to the movies or on a double date. The date had to be in an atmosphere where we could communicate with each other. The date didn't always include spending money sometimes, we would just take a hike in the woods. I remember one month I was getting a little antsy. I didn't think he was going to pull through with his obligation. It was the 31st of the month. When I got home that evening he had dinner on the table and of course the children were there. He cleaned up dinner and someone came to stay with the children. We went to a nearby restaurant for dessert and coffee. <br /><br />Our children are all married. I'm thankful after 33 years I still like my husband and enjoy spending time with just him. He still does an excellent job of planning dates. Our agreement way back then has strengthened our marriage. We share this idea with many young couples and offered to make ourselves available to watch their little ones so they too can spend time alone together.<br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2019-06-24T17:58:00Z
Tough Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Tough-Love/-519756610266989705.html
2019-06-13T17:58:00Z
2019-06-13T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />My daughter was addicted to cocaine. She was making a great salary as an accountant, but that wasn't enough to support her habit. She was arrested for stealing blank checks from her job and that's when I found out her problem. By this time she was on her own and 34 years old. She says, she didn't get addicted until she was 23. I decided I COULD NOT get her out of the mess she created, and also, I WOULD NOT! She went to prison, not jail for a period of 18 months. She had to pay restitution to her old employer which took her about three 3 years. <br /><br />At the age of 37, she was married. A year later, she had twin sons who are graduating from high school and going on to community college. And she's been 20 years clean and sober. I am so proud of her, but I'm also proud of my decision for making this her problem. And she passed with flying colors! She can be proud of herself and her children just as I am!! <br /><br />Raye</p>
Staff
2019-06-13T17:58:00Z
Love Each Other
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Love-Each-Other/612838575432075753.html
2019-06-12T17:58:00Z
2019-06-12T17:58:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I married the most wonderful man in existence. I was 18, he was 26. We were engaged after a month and married 3 months after that. I love my husband more than the day we said "I do!" It was the smartest move I have ever made. We have 3 amazing children. One of them is studying medicine, another is studying political science, and our daughter is autistic. She drives, works, and is starting college in the spring. <br /><br />Maybe I'm just the exception to the rule. Marriage is NOT work! What do people do when they "work" on their marriage? <br /><br />It's simple, here's the secret to a successful marriage: <br /><ol>
<li>You LOVE each other. </li>
<br />
<li>You support each other emotionally. </li>
<br />
<li>Communicate! Communicate! </li>
<br />
<li>Try to give MORE than your share. </li>
<br />
<li>When you hit bad times, you support each other and DO NOT tear each other down. </li>
<br />
<li>Be honest with each other and with yourself. </li>
<br />
<li><strong>LOVE EACH OTHER!!! </strong></li>
</ol><br />If you can't do those things, you have no business being married. <br /><br /><br /><br />What do you think are the ingredients to a successful marriage? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2019-06-12T17:58:00Z
My TWO Mother-in-Laws Are Amazing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-TWO-Mother-in-Laws-Are-Amazing/76085558095264456.html
2019-06-11T17:58:00Z
2019-06-11T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />I don't have one, but two sets of incredible in-laws, due to remarriages. <br /><br />My husband's mom has treated me like a daughter since the beginning. She is a great friend and I can always be honest and open with her. Over the past 20 years, we have shared a lot of laughs, and a few tears. We talk on the phone all the time and we see each other when we are able to make the 5 hour trip. She goes out of her way on holidays to wrap way too many adorable gifts. Even though we're in our 40s, we feel like her 'kids' and she always is there for us emotionally. <br /><br />I knew she was a gem, but what grabbed my heart the most was when she made a special trip to town just for me! It was when I had surgery and would be down for a few weeks, she just said she'd be coming to help. It turns out I didn't need much help at all, but I will never forget how I was 'one of hers' and how she was, and is really here for me as much as her own two children. We absolutely love to 'go see Mom'. <br /><br />My other mother-in-law, my husband's step-mom, has also been a great joy. She and my husband's dad are super fun in-laws and keep the family together. We enjoy their company immensely, and they are way funnier than we are. They have taken us to places we never would have gone, and helped build lifelong memories we will have forever. They create special holidays and 'just because' get-togethers. They take interest in our lives and never are intrusive, yet we always know they are there for us. <br /><br />What a lucky girl I am to have been blessed by such wonderful, strong, lovely women! I hope this can inspire other in-laws to have incredible relationships with their daughter-in-laws that love their sons so much. <br /><br />Dina<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2019-06-11T17:58:00Z
A Life is Such an Awesome Force
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Life-is-Such-an-Awesome-Force/-930679482153727007.html
2019-06-10T17:58:00Z
2019-06-10T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I read your blog "How to Act Around a Dying Loved One" and it reminded me of a poem I wrote before attending a funeral of a friend's father. <br /><br /><br /><strong>Death Overtakes You</strong> <br /><br />Death overtakes you like a summer storm. <br />Suddenly, It's upon you.<br />Darkness covers your world... <br /><br />Fear grips you. <br />Consumes you. <br />The lightning appears. <br />It reveals things you did not see. <br />Things you forgot. <br /><br />The thunder roars. <br />You hear things you did not hear. <br />Remembering...Rain quenches; Washing away your sorrow and pain. <br />Carrying away your tears. Passing... The sun comes out again <br /><br />And everything is new, and sweet, and cool. <br />Memories...A rainbow appears <br />Nestled against the ominous backdrop of black thunderheads. <br /><br />You are taken by the impact of the moment. <br />A life, Such an awesome force, <br />And what it left behind....The promise of you. <br /><br />Maryanne Dunne<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have an inspiring poem or story to share? Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2019-06-10T17:58:00Z
The Chore Jar
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Chore-Jar/864771831723860715.html
2019-06-07T17:58:00Z
2019-06-07T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I've homeschooled my 2 daughters for the past 5 years. I used to get frustrated and yell. It's sad to admit but it's the truth. When I would ask them to do something, they would respond by ignoring my request or simply procrastinate so long that I'd go crazy. <br /><br />Now I have "The Chore Jar." I've written household chores that I hate to do on slips of paper (cleaning baseboards, dust, cleaning the toilet) and placed them in the jar. <br /><br />Now, when the kids refuse to do as I ask, I simply have them reach into the jar and grab a chore. Now, I'm almost happy to have them refuse or argue because I get a clean house! This has really defused things in our home. <br /><br />Tammy <br /><br /><br />Do you have a parenting trip that you'd like to share? Send us an email, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-06-07T17:58:00Z
A Voice Of Truth
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Voice-Of-Truth/724550297411835723.html
2019-06-06T17:58:00Z
2019-06-06T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Thank you for being a voice for truth and a light in today's world of social decadence and degenerative moral fiber. <br /><br />I often find myself slapping the console of my car and laughing out loud at the conversations you have with some people. You're an inspiration to me and millions of the silent masses who listen to your show. Your knack for "<em>seeing the forest</em>" in the entanglement of emotions and psychobabble is unparrelled. <br /><br />Every high school in the country should require the Dr. Laura exposure; that would create a society of people comfortable in their own skins. Imagine that! <br /><br />With honor and respect, <br /><br />Miles <br /><br /><br /><br />What do you love about the Show? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-06-06T17:58:00Z
Fitness Tips From Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fitness-Tips-From-Dr.-Laura/-208415269972872592.html
2019-06-05T17:58:00Z
2019-06-05T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Lately, I have noted a number of people calling who need to be 'motivated' to exercise and ask your advice. I have listened to you for years and have two favorite pieces of advice regarding this subject. <br /><br /></p>
<ul>
<li><strong>First:</strong> <em>"Move more, eat less." </em>Simple, to the point and right just like you.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><strong>Second:</strong> (and my favorite), <em>"Keep telling yourself, 'I don't want to do this' as you put your shirt on; 'I really don't want to do this' as your put on your shorts; 'I don't, don't want to do this' as you put on your shoes. Before you know it, you'll be out the door, moving!"</em> I do this a lot and it works wonders. </li>
</ul>
<p><br />Your podcast keeps me company on my almost daily walks. I go from 3.5 to 6 miles at a time and you make it really enjoyable. You also accompany me when I'm pulling weeds and it's amazing how much I get done without realizing that I'm working. <br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura!<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have any fitness tips you'd like to share? Send us an email, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<div>
<div>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-06-05T17:58:00Z
Making My Marriage Great
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-My-Marriage-Great/-670284275860308799.html
2019-06-04T17:58:00Z
2019-06-04T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Just a quick note to thank you for truly making my marriage great. My wife listens to you every day. She models what a true helpmate is. I am truly blessed. Your advice if heeded will help heal a lot of folks and their wounds. <br /><br />Your advice also makes folks check their motives. If we truly reach out to help our spouse, the kindness will rekindle love! <br /><br />Greg<br /><br /> </p>
<p>What do you to help your spouse feel blessed like Greg? Send us an email and share, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-06-04T17:58:00Z
Avoid the Criticism
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Avoid-the-Criticism/106877947861343265.html
2019-06-03T17:57:00Z
2019-06-03T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />A little while ago, you asked for ideas for maintaining a good marriage. My suggestion is to know when to keep your mouth shut. It took me a lot to learn how to be a good partner. <br /><br />Example: On my birthday, my wonderful bride brought home a 1/2 gallon of Eggnog. This is my holiday weakness. She brought the "full" variety. I always buy the "<em>lite</em>" to save some fat calories Yes I know both are not health food. I might have said: "<em>Why didn't you buy the lite?</em>" But, I kept my mouth shut. <br /><br />She made a kind and thoughtful act and why would I want to hurt her by being critical? Sure, this is a small matter, but the small, everyday matters add up. In a marriage, know when to keep your mouth shut, is critical. Look for the good and avoid criticism. <br /><br /><br /></p>
Have you ever had to sugar coat something to your spouse that you didn't like? Send us an email and tell us about the film, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-06-03T17:57:00Z
A Voice Of Truth
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Voice-Of-Truth/-823436046332339193.html
2019-05-31T17:44:00Z
2019-05-31T17:44:00Z
<p><br />Thank you for being a voice for truth and a light in today's world of social decadence and degenerative moral fiber. <br /><br />I often find myself slapping the console of my car and laughing out loud at the conversations you have with some people. You're an inspiration to me and millions of the silent masses who listen to your show. Your knack for "<em>seeing the forest</em>" in the entanglement of emotions and psychobabble is unparrelled. <br /><br />Every high school in the country should require the Dr. Laura exposure; that would create a society of people comfortable in their own skins. Imagine that! <br /><br />With honor and respect, <br /><br />Miles <br /><br /><br /><br />What do you love about the Show? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-05-31T17:44:00Z
Avoid the Criticism
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Avoid-the-Criticism/-213004706538687836.html
2019-05-30T17:58:00Z
2019-05-30T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />A little while ago, you asked for ideas for maintaining a good marriage. My suggestion is to know when to keep your mouth shut. It took me a lot to learn how to be a good partner. <br /><br />Example: On my birthday, my wonderful bride brought home a 1/2 gallon of Eggnog. This is my holiday weakness. She brought the "full" variety. I always buy the "<em>lite</em>" to save some fat calories Yes I know both are not health food. I might have said: "<em>Why didn't you buy the lite?</em>" But, I kept my mouth shut. <br /><br />She made a kind and thoughtful act and why would I want to hurt her by being critical? Sure, this is a small matter, but the small, everyday matters add up. In a marriage, know when to keep your mouth shut, is critical. Look for the good and avoid criticism. <br /><br /><br /></p>
Have you ever had to sugar coat something to your spouse that you didn't like? Send us an email and tell us about the film, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-05-30T17:58:00Z
The Pain of Divorce Still Lingers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Pain-of-Divorce-Still-Lingers/-16157314176890397.html
2019-05-29T17:58:00Z
2019-05-29T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br /> I have to share some thoughts with you about the step parenting issue. You are SO on the money when you tell us that people should not marry and divorce when minor kids are involved. I am both a step parent and a step child. <br /><br />I wasn't a listener at the time and didn't give the issue much thought, since it was all too familiar to me. Now, every time I hear you warn parents not to divorce because of the kids, I would feel hurt. I thought I was over my parents' divorce and remarriage since we had all grown up with lives and families of our own, but the pain lingers on. <br /><br />I embraced what you said about having a second chance of a good parent and child relationship and decided to apply it to a good step parent and step child relationship. I became pensive when my son and I recently traveled 3000 miles to visit my dad and step mom. As I looked around my dad's house, I noticed that I did not see one picture of my brother and me anywhere. I didn't say anything, but I could not help but observe this. A lightbulb went off in my head. I looked around my own house and noticed that my son and my side of the family are the stars of the show, except for one family portrait with my step son in it. It occurred to me that my stepson probably felt the same way I did. <br /><br />I came across some pictures of my step son and his grandpa, which I am going to blow up and hang up on the living room wall. He is all grown up and lives far away right now, but will return next summer. When he comes, I want to be here to see his face light up as he looks at the new pictures. I refuse, refuse to make my step son feel the way I felt about being excluded from the "<em>hall of fame</em>" so to speak. I have long ago written my step son a letter of apology for my behavior back in the day, and things only got better from there. <br /><br />In fact, I thanked my husband tonight for staying married to me when he could have walked. That would have been one more loss for my step son. Thank you for all your words of wisdom and admonition to families. Hopefully, many of your listeners will take your words to heart and their children won't have to go through what my step son and I both had to go through when we were kids. We, your fans love you very much and have nothing but respect and admiration for all you do. You are stronger than you know. Take good care. I am so glad that you are on the mend. Stay healthy we need you. <br /><br />Sincerely, Your fan Lexi<br /><br /><br /><br />Is there a memory of your parents that you have sworn not to repeat? Send us an email and tell us why, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-05-29T17:58:00Z
New Gifts
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/New-Gifts/171598754769249473.html
2019-05-28T17:58:00Z
2019-05-28T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I just wanted to share something with you that has helped me and may help your callers that have a problem with weight and food. I am a member of Overeaters Anonymous. It is an anonymous 12 step program, based on AA, which addresses compulsive overeating and compulsive food behaviors. <br /><br />In addition to so many other gifts the program has given me, it offers a fellowship of people that share their own experience and recovery which helps us with our own. The program is free, other than passing a basket at each meeting. I have lost over 50 pounds! I have maintained that weight loss for nearly 8 years, without crazy diets, exercise regimes, therapy, gym memberships, pills, doctors, and anything else I had previously used to "<em>fix</em>" the problem. Today I have a fairly normal relationship with food, a normal body weight, and gifts beyond my wildest dreams.</p>
<br /><br />Do you have any recommendations? Send us an email and tell us about them, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-05-28T17:58:00Z
Sewing with My Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sewing-with-My-Mom/674662611283056546.html
2019-05-24T17:58:00Z
2019-05-24T17:58:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />It's so hard to choose just one favorite memory of my mother. I am the youngest of four girls and my mother was a stay-at-home mom and made all our meals from scratch and sewed most of my clothes on her little Singer sewing machine. <br /><br />My favorite memories are when we would go to Cloth World and she would let me look through the Butterick and McCall's pattern books and choose whichever pattern I wanted her to make. Then, on to the fabric, buttons, trim, zipper and thread. We did it all together. If I wanted purple rick-rack on hot pink cotton with an orange zipper running down the back... it was my design. (This was the 70's baby!) We'd go home, lay out the fabric on the dining room table and place the pattern pieces in place and pin them down. I'd cut the pieces out and remove the pins and hand them to her as she worked over her little Singer sewing machine creating my garment. I had couture clothing at ten years old! Custom tailored, one-of-a-kind designs. LOL! Just me and my mom on a summer's day in Phoenix! <br /><br />I love my Mom!<br /><br />Sallie<br />
Staff
2019-05-24T17:58:00Z
Show And Tell
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Show-And-Tell/726844934291841327.html
2019-05-23T17:58:00Z
2019-05-23T17:58:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just wanted to thank you for your 'make your house a home' ideas! It's because of you, we now have Sunday show and tell nights and it brings the whole family together. We also tell stories about our past and special things in our life. <br /><br />It helps our kids see their parents in a different light. One special night, I even came out in my wedding dress one night for show and tell. It was a hoot! Our son was in the hospital today for a bad fall he had at the pool. As they were prepping him for stitches, he was bragging to the doctor that he has show and tell with his parents and sister every Sunday. He was excited to announce to the doctor that there were only 4 more days until the next show and tell night. <br /><br />I appreciate you always giving us ideas on how to bond us as a family. <br /><br />Kammy<br /><br /><br /><br />How does your family have fun together? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2019-05-23T17:58:00Z
Hardships And Joys
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hardships-And-Joys/-273233015282717847.html
2019-05-22T17:58:00Z
2019-05-22T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />My parents were great for the most part. We usually only had problems when they drank. At least once per week I promised myself I would not subject my children to this kind of upbringing.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, the wonderful woman I married developed some bad health conditions. From that point on it was like a hell on earth. I tried in vain to create happiness for her. She just wouldn't Or couldn't respond in the same fashion. <strong>I did not turn to alcohol </strong>but spent many a day in dread and despair.</p>
<p>My point is, no matter what one may have to endeavor in life, it sometimes does not produce the desired results. Life is full of both hardship and joys. I'm hanging around for the joys!</p>
<p>I love and appreciate you Dr. Laura.<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you handle your hardships? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-05-22T17:58:00Z
I Held My Ground
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Held-My-Ground/84561555477936830.html
2019-05-21T17:58:00Z
2019-05-21T17:58:00Z
<br />My daughter hated her 7th grade math teacher all year. He wasn't the best at teaching the children and no one seemed to like him; everyone thought he was a bad teacher. According to my 13 year old. <br /><br />I planted my seed mid-year stating, "<em>if you get a C or lower in any one quarter.....you will make it up in summer school</em>". I thought that would solve the problem. She ran cross country in the fall and her grades went down. Then, she participated in track and field in the spring and she eventually did get a C in her Math class. <br /><br />I held my ground and had her take a summer math class. I am a math teacher and her dad is a Civil engineer. Never once did she seek help. I will continue to hold my ground and have her serve time in the summer if she has additional excuses for the rest of the school year.<br /><br />Thank you for giving me the courage to do the right thing for my teen!<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever disliked a teacher? Tell us why,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2019-05-21T17:58:00Z
I'm Still Happy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Still-Happy/-495676279145296066.html
2019-05-20T17:58:00Z
2019-05-20T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />My childhood was filled with alcoholic parents, bad childhood experiences, and looking for love in all the wrong places. I have broken all the Dr. Laura rules and needed to change. <br /><br />So now, my parents, sister and little brother are gone. I have never had kids . I have just reconnected with my older brother after 10 years! I have two dogs and am celebrating 25 years clean and sober this week! I am not in a relationship and don't have a desire to be in one. I am not lonely and live each day without regrets. I have several nieces and nephews and two great nieces. I have a few very close and longtime friends and am content. <br /><br />In closing, you can get over the crappy parts of life and STILL live happy!<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you changes your life and found happiness? How did you do it? Send us an email and tell us how, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-05-20T17:58:00Z
Dreaming of Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dreaming-of-Dr.-Laura/580800001382804432.html
2019-05-17T17:58:00Z
2019-05-17T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I had to share this dream, even my subconscience agrees with you...</p>
<p><br />The dream was my clone and the clone of another person. After telling this person how much I loved and "felt" her mind, the reality was that my time had passed. There was obviously not enough of the very important things in common like hobbies, interests, values. And of course we were aware that we were from two very different worlds; me from Earth and she from her world in my dream. <br /><br />So with very deep regret, we simply agreed to just accept what might have been with everlasting memories if circumstances were different. SEE! Love really is not enough to make it work. Even my brain in REM sleep agrees.<br /><br />Many thanks for all you do for others for free! </p>
<p>Always... <br /><br /> Lenard<br /><br /><br /><br />What do you dream about? Send us an email and share, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-05-17T17:58:00Z
Over Worrying
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Over-Worrying/186877806966261950.html
2019-05-16T17:59:00Z
2019-05-16T17:59:00Z
<p><br />I used to be an over-worrier. Finally, I got some great advice; think through the "what if" you are worried about. <br /><br /><em>"What if my husband loses his job because of the economy?"</em></p>
<ul>
<li>Well, we have this much saved, he will get on the hunt for something else immediately. </li>
<li>I could go back to work. </li>
</ul>
Ok, now you have a plan, no more worry needed.
<p><em>"What if we can't take a trip to see far off family for the holidays?"</em></p>
<ul>
<li>We'll spend the time in our own home, make some phone calls to loved ones and take lots of pictures of the kids. </li>
</ul>
<p><br />Once you have a plan, the worry is easier to let go of! <br /><br />Just a little tip. Thanks for sharing!<br /><br />Tony<br /><br /><br /><br />Tell us your tips for letting go of the worry wart in you, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<div>
<div>
<p> </p>
</div>
</div>
Staff
2019-05-16T17:59:00Z
Parking Lot Babies
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parking-Lot-Babies/-462710950875286296.html
2019-05-15T17:58:00Z
2019-05-15T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I worked in a pre-school the year after I graduated from college, and I would never insult motherhood by claiming that I loved those kids like my own. We were in a parking garage for babies whose mothers decided that driving through Starbucks was more important than seeing their toddlers first step or hearing their first word. My job was to keep those 15 babies from fracturing their skull under my watch. Not to love them like my own. I was a parking attendant. <br /><br />I'm a 27-year-old woman, never married, and I've made it my mission at work to get as many of my mommy-coworkers to quit as I can. Our job is not that important. I don't know when or if God is going to entrust me with a family, but I DO know that if He does, I'll be the one raising them. My husband and I will be the last faces they see before they go to sleep and the first ones they see in the morning. And no one will have to pay me to do it. Goodness knows there are enough parking lot babies who have turned into screwed up adults as it is. <br /><br />Thank you for all you've done for families for all these years. <br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />A Future Stay-at-Home-Mom and Husband's Girlfriend <br />Kathy<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2019-05-15T17:58:00Z
Son, Are You A Man?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Son,-Are-You-A-Man/946993774184517931.html
2019-05-14T17:58:00Z
2019-05-14T17:58:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am a 55 year old widow. My husband died suddenly over 9 years ago when my sons were 11 and 12. My younger son, 20, is an outstanding young man. My older son,22, is not. <br /><br />When speaking with my older son yesterday, he was crying about his girlfriend. Having heard the same story many times, all of a sudden, I sat up straight and let him have it.<br />
<blockquote>I said,<em> "Son, you are a grown man. Are you letting a little girl run your life? Do you have any balls?"</em> He exclaimed, <em>"Mom!"</em> I said, <em>"You know, those parts of you between your naval and your knees."</em> He said quietly, <em>"Yes." </em>I said,<em> "I can't hear you."</em> He said firmly, <em>"Yes, mom."</em> I said, <em>"Well act like it, be a man and quit crying about this. You are strong and capable, quit acting like a little boy." </em></blockquote>
It felt so good! Surprised him and surprised myself. Thank you Dr. Laura, I took your words and was able to parent appropriately. You are the best! <br /><br />Most Sincerely, <br /><br />Diana <br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever had to parent with tough love? Tell us what happened,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2019-05-14T17:58:00Z
Apologies Help To Heal
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Apologies-Help-To-Heal/560791459644717219.html
2019-05-13T17:58:00Z
2019-05-13T17:58:00Z
<br />The best apology I ever received was from my Dad. I grew up in a house with my brother, Dad and Mother. Then when I was 13 or 14 they took in children from a relative and that is when life became even worse than it already was. We were already poor and my mother was abusive. <br /><br />Taking on more children was just unthinkable. Through the years the adopted children were treated better always, had the things that they needed and more. I felt left out and unwanted by my own parents. I grew up thinking that I was unloved and a mistake. <br /><br />I am now 33 and a couple of years ago I received a call out of the blue from my Dad. He explained how sorry he was for the years that he was for not there for me and when he paid more attention to the other children. He said he was wrong to do that and he lost time with me that he could never get back. This great apology released so much pain and resentment that I had held inside. It was a relief to know that he felt remorse for the years of pain he had caused. <br /><br /><br /><br />Has your parent ever apologizes? Tell us what happened,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2019-05-13T17:58:00Z
I Never Had A Choice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Never-Had-A-Choice/744554109405641106.html
2019-05-10T17:58:00Z
2019-05-10T17:58:00Z
<p><br />When I was single, I was not a chick magnet, so I was easily pleased. As a result, I went out rarely and typically with bizarre people. I never asked myself, "<em>should I be with this person?</em>" My only concern was, "<em>will she go out with me again?</em>" So it wasn't heart, it was just desperation. I never felt I had the luxury of choice. Any choice was up to the woman. <br /><br />I am now married to a woman who grew up in a bad environment. She was the 6th of 9 children. The first five, by one husband and the last 3 by second husband. My wife was born in the middle after an affair between her Mom and the shoe repair guy down the street. Her father never accepted her. When I met her she was coming off a divorce from 20-year marriage, with a 9-year-old son and a grown daughter. She was living on food stamps and '<em>government butter'</em> as she called it. She had managed to get secretarial training and was able to survive in a job at local community college. <br /><br />I figured she may go out with me. We dated for 22 years and we married in 2010. We decided that we should marry because of our age and the need to have each other to take care of us when illness or disability struck. In spite of all of it, she is still working at age 69 as an office administrator in the same job she has had for 30+ years. She loves her job and has a great boss. I retired at the end of 1997. We are both happy in our marriage and good for each other. <br /><br />So head or heart? Or just 22 years of patience? <br /><br /><br /><br />Are you patient enough for marriage and kids? Send us an email and tell us why, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-05-10T17:58:00Z
Just Be Direct
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Just-Be-Direct/-582454782223478314.html
2019-05-09T17:58:00Z
2019-05-09T17:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br /><br /><span><span>My husband has told me that he responds best when I'm just direct. He doesn't want to be perceived as a psychic. <br /><br />If I perceive something isn't happening that I want, like going out on a date, I should simply say: "<em>I wish we would spend mo</em></span></span><span><span><span><em>re time together. How about going out?</em>" To which he always responds: "<em>Sure!</em>" <br /><br />He isn't deliberately ignoring my needs. He is a man and has different needs and he can't always anticipate mine. So instead of my waiting for him to figure out my subtle hints, or crying because he's not getting it, I just get right to the point and he appreciates that!</span></span></span><br /><br /><br /> <br /></span></span></span>How do you and your spouse communicate? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-05-09T17:58:00Z
Don't Focus On The Negative
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dont-Focus-On-The-Negative/403794297697234019.html
2019-05-08T17:58:00Z
2019-05-08T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I have the most amazing relationship with my daughter in law. I approached this new marriage the same way I had with my daughter and son-in-law years ago. I enjoyed her company, I kept quiet, and I supported her. <br /><br />They have now been married eight years and have two precious daughters. They have lived with us twice when they were getting back on their feet. We took care of their daughter at nights while they worked. They now own two businesses and are homeowners. They have little to no child care, as they are committed to raising their daughters. <br /><br />My daughter-in-law asks advice from time to time. I also ask her questions about her values and beliefs, although sometimes I do tell her how I'd handle a situation. She is a bright, intelligent, focused young woman who is a great friend and I appreciate her. I am convinced the key is to appreciate and support the other person. Focus on what you want more of and disregard the negatives. <br /><br /><br /><br />How do you handle your relationship with your in-laws? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-05-08T17:58:00Z
I Was Afraid To Be Alone
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Was-Afraid-To-Be-Alone/-291041233284049270.html
2019-05-07T17:58:00Z
2019-05-07T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I went through my first heartbreak 8 months ago. I thought he was the best thing since sliced bread and I was determined to do anything to get him back. He left me for another woman and I was devastated. I thought there was something wrong with me and that it was all my fault.</p>
<p>Just by listening to your calls you helped me realized that I have to love myself first, that I deserve to be loved. Every time I had the urge to call you, I always would listen to another caller first. You would usually remind them of their own self-worth and that they shouldn't stay in such toxic relationships. I can't believe that I was a woman who was afraid to be alone.</p>
<p>Now, I've embraced myself so much that I don't need a man to make myself happy. I know my self-worth and I will wait for the day to find a man who would love me and respect me for what I am.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for helping me realize this!<br /><br /><br /><br />What have you learned from Dr. Laura? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-05-07T17:58:00Z
Bad Childhood, Great Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bad-Childhood,-Great-Life/29137779237716732.html
2019-05-06T17:58:00Z
2019-05-06T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I read your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Bad-Childhood-Good-Life-Blossom-Childhood/dp/0060577878" target="_blank">Bad Childhood Good Life</a></em>", and wanted to tell you how much it has helped me.</p>
<p>I am a product of an affair my mother had on her first husband. I have 12 half brothers and sisters, but only grew up knowing 3 of them (the three from her first marriage). My mother divorced and remarried my step father when I was 4. She shipped my 2 sisters and brother away to live with their bio dad and sent me away to boarding school for a couple years so they could travel. My step father was very verbally abusive and eventually sexually abusive. My mother, never having a job, did nothing to protect me and allowed it to continue for her own financial reasons, I guess.</p>
<p>I moved out at 17 and had some very bad relationships before meeting my now husband of 17 years. I am very blessed to have been given a wonderful, honest man who has given us 3 beautiful children.</p>
<p>My step father has had many affairs on my mother and recently had another (he is 77 years old). She continues to do nothing about it. I have recently cut him out of my life and my mother can't understand why I won't allow my kids, daughters 10, 12 and son 14, to be around him. She goes behind my back and tells them he loves them and would never do anything to hurt them. She didn't protect her own child from him why would my kids be any different? When I remind her of the things he did to me she tells me I'm lying and doesn't remember. She believes he was a good addition to the family. My siblings say I need to move on to keep peace in the family.</p>
<p>After reading your book I know now I do not have to be around toxic people. My #1 priority is now my husband and kids. I have stopped the cycle of abuse and will no longer accept abusive behavior from my "<em>family</em>". I am much happier surrounding myself with loving, healthy people/relationships. I can't thank you enough Dr. Laura for your advice and helping me and others stick to our morals. Keep up the great work!</p>
<p>L</p>
Staff
2019-05-06T17:58:00Z
Knowing When It's Best to Move On
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Knowing-When-Its-Best-to-Move-On/206876009313530911.html
2019-05-03T17:58:00Z
2019-05-03T17:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br /><br /><br />As a teenager, I thought I was ready to be in a relationship with my boyfriend. I had to break off the relationship when he began trying to push me into marriage. <br /><br />We were not dating enough time to even think about marriage. He was a very sweet guy and I loved how much he cared about people. Eventually his insecurities and neediness became a problem. What alarmed me is what he said before I considered breaking it off with him. He kept on saying over and over again that he would "<em>not know what</em>" to do if I ever left him. <br /><br />Sure enough, I ended up leaving him when I realized that I was in way over my head with him. I was too young and he was too needy. We both moved on and it really was the best for us. Time is necessary for love.<br /><br /><br /><br /></span></span></span>Have you ever had to move on from a relationship, knowing that it would be difficult? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-05-03T17:58:00Z
How I Avoid Making Comparisons
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Avoid-Making-Comparisons/-327110949960676866.html
2019-05-02T17:58:00Z
2019-05-02T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I had to think long and hard, but here are the ways that I try to avoid comparing myself to others. I think of two things. <br /><br /></p>
<ol>
<li>Instead of looking at them with a covetous attitude, I simply compliment them. I truly want to hear their stories. "<em>Hey, I love your house!</em>" "<em>How did you find the time to go back to school?</em>" "<em>I want to be like you when I grow up!</em>" The list goes on. I have always heard, if you want to be a millionaire, hang around millionaires. If I want to attain what I admire, find out how they did it. Life is too short to want to keep up with the Joneses and to be jealous of others. </li>
<br />
<li>My Biblical teachings...this guides me each time.</li>
</ol><br /><br />What do you do to help comparing yourself with others? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
Staff
2019-05-02T17:58:00Z
I Keep My Mouth Shut
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Keep-My-Mouth-Shut/735130247880607672.html
2019-05-01T17:58:00Z
2019-05-01T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I remember your advice to a past listener, you said the daughter-in-law was the lioness at the gate. If the mother-in-law wanted to see her grandchildren, she would have to comply with her daughter-in-law's wishes. <br /><br />We rarely get to see our grandchildren because their parents keep them so busy that we only get the occasional babysitting. Once in a while we get to share a birthday party or the occasional holiday. <br /><br />In order for our grandchildren to know who we are, I keep my mouth shut! This ensures that we can see them once in a while. You were so right! Thank you for always looking out for children and helping show us an easy way to keep the peace. <br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a special way you handle your in-laws? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-05-01T17:58:00Z
A True Awakening
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-True-Awakening/244594888899556112.html
2019-04-30T17:58:00Z
2019-04-30T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I just want to thank you. I know I am "<em>late</em>" in reading your books "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>” and “<em>…Feeding of Marriage,</em>” but I can honestly say better late than never.</p>
<p>It has been a rough road the past year for me and my family. I was going through what I call a "<em>feminist phase</em>" driven and fueled by negative friends and family as well as my own resentments and insecurities. I filed for divorce thinking it was the thing to do without even consulting my husband on how I was feeling. Long story short, my time being separated from him made me realize how stupid and wrong I had been and just how much our daughters need him home. I dismissed the divorce, we went to marriage counseling and he eventually moved back home.<br /> <br />I now try to spend every day showing him how much his slaying of dragons means to me and he is truly my hero. I still fight my insecurities on a daily basis but I am no longer constantly nagging him for the constant reassurance of his love and approval or resenting my position in the home as a stay at home mom.<br /> <br />Thank you Dr Laura for giving the gift of a true awakening...</p>
<p>Jane</p>
Staff
2019-04-30T17:58:00Z
I'm A Better Man Because Of You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-A-Better-Man-Because-Of-You/70585459347388956.html
2019-04-29T17:58:00Z
2019-04-29T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been listening to you for about 5 years. I think I have become a better husband and man because of it. I was listening to your podcast in the gym a couple of days ago and a person called in that really struck a chord with me. She had a couple of adopted kids that had Reactive Attachment Disorder (<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reactive_attachment_disorder" target="_blank">RAD</a>) and was having great difficulty managing them. You showed great empathy for her situation. You explained so that the caller understood that there was no shame in being unable to manage these difficult kids. In fact, she may need to give them to someone else to raise. <br /><br />My wife and I found ourselves in a similar situation many years ago, when we adopted a little girl from Russia. Unknown to us, she had RAD and was incredibly difficult to manage. Like the caller on the phone, we also set our home up with door alarms and other devices to keep track of our daughter. We eventually made the decision to disrupt the adoption, after 6 years of trying to deal with her. She went to live with a family that had experience with RAD kids. They had a better support system around them. It was an incredibly difficult decision with lots of guilt and shame attached. <br /><br />Your comments to the caller made her feel less shamed by her situation. Your comments also made me feel better about my own decision years ago. I had never heard of RAD before we adopted the little girl. I found that most people were unable to relate to the problem. We felt very isolated at the time. I know you helped the caller tremendously with your advice. I wish I had had someone to give me the same good advice when I was dealing with my own situation. <br /><br />Thanks for the good work you do and please keep doing it.<br /><br />Sean<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever had to make a difficult parenting decision that you KNEW would make your child's life better? Share your story with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-04-29T17:58:00Z
Sharing Gentle Moments
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sharing-Gentle-Moments/538801954757520215.html
2019-04-26T17:58:00Z
2019-04-26T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><span><span>When my son was a baby, I would snuggle with him in my arms and on my lap. When he got older, sometimes he would be tired or stressed. When this happened, we had what we called: a "<em>gentle moment</em>". <br /><br />This is when we would both stop whatever we were doing and hug each ot</span></span><span><span><span>her. Not a quick hug sissy hug wither! It was always a special time when either of us need it. He's 18 now but I guarantee if I asked him for a "gentle moment" he'd remember it. It means, I'm running on empty and I need to be filled with your gentle love.</span></span></span><br /><br /><br /><br />Do you and your child ever share moments like this? Tell us about it, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2019-04-26T17:58:00Z
Protecting Your Spouse
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Protecting-Your-Spouse/275399779615381465.html
2019-04-25T17:58:00Z
2019-04-25T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />When my husband and I were first married, we would have to travel 500-600 miles to visit both families. Even though it was hard, we would also visit all of the sub-families resulting from our parents mutual divorces. By the end of Christmas Day, I was usually in tears from the stress and strain. My husband vowed that I would never again cry on Christmas. I was hugely pregnant during the Christmas of 1996. There was no way we would be able to travel. My son was delivered just a couple of weeks later. <br /><br />The very next holiday my husband put his foot down. We would no longer be traveling to the entire family. If our families wanted to see us on Christmas, they would have to come to our house and get along with each other. We did not hear a lot of complaining about this, although the visits were few and far between. That's OK. We began our own traditions that we follow to this day. My son is now a freshman in college and I look forward to having him home for Christmas. It is usually just our small family now and that suits us fine. I married a MAN who put the protection and support of his family above the wishes of our relatives. I definitely chose wisely and have learned to treat kindly. Thank you for all you do! <br /><br />Mary<br /><br /></p>
<blockquote>
<ul>
</ul>
</blockquote>
<br /><br />Have you ever had to stand up for your spouse? Tell us about it, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. <br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-04-25T17:58:00Z
Wouldn't You Want Your Mother Instead of Day Care?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Wouldnt-You-Want-Your-Mother-Instead-of-Day-Care/-453408567385146298.html
2019-04-24T17:58:00Z
2019-04-24T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />I recently came across an email to you I never sent about my niece who was expecting her first child, working as a full-time CPA and contemplating day care following her 12 week leave. Everyone at her work told her day care helps the child develop social skills. She visited a day care where there were 2 helpers for 10 infants - kind of scary she said. I asked if she had ever listened to you. I told her she was about to take on the most important job of her life. <br /><br />Fast forward 12 years later, she and her husband are the happy parents of 6 kids, ages 11 down to 18 months, and she NEVER went back to work. She is a fantastic mother and wife and would not trade a minute of her time spent raising and loving their children! <br /><br />Colleen</p>
Staff
2019-04-24T17:58:00Z
Getting His Mom to Like You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Getting-His-Mom-to-Like-You/-263391690218970896.html
2019-04-23T17:58:00Z
2019-04-23T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My mother-in-law and I have a wonderful relationship. We built it over many years and continue to do so. I believe it takes two to make it work in any relationship and this one is certainly no exception. My MIL and I both: <br /><br /></p>
<ol>
<li>Try to understand and accept each other, especially where our differences lie </li>
<br />
<li>Always remember we both ADORE the man who brought us together </li>
<br />
<li>Never complain to each other about that man who brought us together </li>
<br />
<li>Look for common ground, like the other people we both love my children / her grandchildren, my father-in-law / her husband, my in-laws / her siblings and other children, and their kids, etc. </li>
<br />
<li>Take the time to check in with each other once in awhile and ask about the other's well-being, latest pursuits, etc.--in other words, make a concerted effort to maintain the wonderfulness.</li>
</ol>
<p><br />But I don't believe it would work if we were not BOTH engaged in these efforts... <br /><br />Best wishes, <br /><br />Pam</p>
Staff
2019-04-23T17:58:00Z
Balance Is Key
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Balance-Is-Key/111517655016268442.html
2019-04-22T17:58:00Z
2019-04-22T17:58:00Z
<br />While I was not successful in my own marriage in avoiding infidelities, I hope to help my sons keep their marriage strong, loving and fun. <br /><br />I bought 2 copies of each of your books - <em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060520620/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0060520620&linkCode=as2&tag=wwwdrlauracom-20&linkId=5AWR3PAVKGV2KTFV" target="_blank">The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands</a> </em>and <em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Proper-Care-Feeding-Marriage/dp/0061142824/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=1WVMPKVGTQT054BW1NK6" target="_blank">The Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage</a></em>. Each couple was given their books 3 years ago, for absolutely no reason. I wrapped them in pretty paper, tied ribbons around them, and continued to write cards specifically to each couple. I prayed that they would use them. <br /><br />Since then, I have heard from each couple independently. Their marriages are stronger, their friendships better and their personal intimate relationships are thriving! They work together to support their families monetarily and spiritually. Their children are home schooled by Mom. They spend time with their families and just have good old fashioned fun. Dad is there by their side, along with Mom. Life isn't always perfect, but they remain balanced. They are full of intent to continue their lives together. <br /><br />Thanks for all that you do...the encouragement you give..the knock to the head we sometimes need. Keep writing - I'll keep buying !! <br /><br />Thank you for your support to our Military families. <br /><br />Kind regards, <br /><br />Tim<br /><br /> <br /><br /><br />Have you dealt with infidelity in your marriage? Tell us how you handled the situation,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2019-04-22T17:58:00Z
I Was Afraid To Be Alone
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Was-Afraid-To-Be-Alone/792418837901011025.html
2019-04-19T17:58:00Z
2019-04-19T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I went through my first heartbreak 8 months ago. I thought he was the best thing since sliced bread and I was determined to do anything to get him back. He left me for another woman and I was devastated. I thought there was something wrong with me and that it was all my fault.</p>
<p>Just by listening to your calls you helped me realized that I have to love myself first, that I deserve to be loved. Every time I had the urge to call you, I always would listen to another caller first. You would usually remind them of their own self-worth and that they shouldn't stay in such toxic relationships. I can't believe that I was a woman who was afraid to be alone.</p>
<p>Now, I've embraced myself so much that I don't need a man to make myself happy. I know my self-worth and I will wait for the day to find a man who would love me and respect me for what I am.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for helping me realize this!<br /><br /><br /><br />What have you learned from Dr. Laura? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-04-19T17:58:00Z
Good Parenting
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Good-Parenting/-665140991452203971.html
2019-04-18T17:58:00Z
2019-04-18T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr.Laura, <br /><br />A couple of weeks ago went to the food court at local store which reminded me of the caller whose husband was complaining about shopping at Costco. <br /><br />A gentleman and his 2 boys sat next to me. After a few minutes of observing the father and boys, I can say my hot dog and pizza was enjoyable. I congratulated him on his parents skills. I told him that the boys were very well mattered and polite. The boys even said grace, without the father having to say anything . They talked and laughed and even cleaned up the mess they had made. <br /><br />I told the father that Dr. Laura would be so proud of you and your parenting skills! The man asked who you were. I immediately put on your show. They just listened, no fighting they just listened and answered questions. <br /><br />Who knew grocery shopping and Dr. Laura would be so much fun on Sunday?! Thank you Dr.Laura for all you do. Been listening to you since 1981!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Have you know any exceptional parents? Tell us how awesome they are, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2019-04-18T17:58:00Z
Am I Enabling My Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Am-I-Enabling-My-Children/618878857656051646.html
2019-04-17T17:58:00Z
2019-04-17T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was fortunate to talk with you and discuss the pyscho-babble, specifically, of "enabling" my children. At the time, I felt it was a fine line between nurturing/parenting, and "enabling". My concern was I might be preventing my children from being independent, productive, and responsible adults. One example I gave you was, in your opinion, "enabling" and the other example was "nurturing". You then suggested I list ten examples and call back. <br /><br />Well, I promptly sat down and started my list. I made it to number six when I realized these things I do are nurturing and good parenting. I stay involved in their busy lives and schedules. I follow up on their grades both good and bad and have discussions about school, time management, choices, etc. I confirm, as they get into the car, that they remembered all they need for the day. If it's a busy athletic week, with multiple races or practices, I will wash their uniforms TWICE if necessary. Then, it occurred to me that I am not really concerned about "enabling" them because, frankly, I wouldn't change these things I do. The things I do are are a way I show my children I care and love them. So, I've resolved to ignore the "pyscho-babble" aka crazy talk of others and plow forward with life. <br /><br />Of course, if any of our sons are 30 and still living at home, I'll be calling you back. Thank you for your time and forcing me to think! <br /><br />Melissa</p>
Staff
2019-04-17T17:58:00Z
Non-Marriages and Babies Never Work Out
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Non-Marriages-and-Babies-Never-Work-Out/341636278914480084.html
2019-04-16T17:58:00Z
2019-04-16T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />I listen to you every day when I pick my boys up from school. I found out some wonderful news that a friend of mine is expecting her first baby. My 12-year-old said to tell her congratulations and then asked if she was married. I said she was. <br /><br />He replied, "<em>Good, because non-marriages and babies never work out.</em>" <br /><br />Made me a proud mom! <br /><br /><br /><br />What small thing makes you a proud Mommy? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-04-16T17:58:00Z
The Lessons I Learned Stuck with Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Lessons-I-Learned-Stuck-with-Me/566773379078767140.html
2019-04-15T17:58:00Z
2019-04-15T17:58:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>I did not have an easy childhood. I feel as if I had to go through all of it to get me where I am today. I got married in 1983, had 3 children now all grown. I listened to your show during the 80's, in Chicago. I was devastated when you left. I was so happy to have recently found you again, like a treasured long lost friend. <br /><br />Our 31-year-old is happily married to a stay-at-home mom of our 18 month old grandson. Our 29-year-old daughter is a Board Certified Behavior Analyst, working with children with autism. Our "<em>Baby</em>", now 25, was kicked out of the house at age 19. He didn't like our rules. We told him to leave his car keys and cell phone. He lived with a buddy for a few months. Eventually he was able to work and get his own apartment. He is now flourishing and working in the family business. My friends asked me how we could do this, and we replied, "Because we love our kid". <br /><br />Since I have recently found you again, I am thrilled to listen to you and tell you that the lessons I learned from you so many years ago stuck with me! I am so proud to say that not only am I my grown children's mom and my husband's girlfriend of 34 years, but if I died tomorrow, I have lived ALL my dreams! I finally obtained my dream of having a wonderful husband and 3 terrific children, because of hearing you in my head all these years; even when I thought I lost you. <br /><br />Thank you for all you did for me and for so many others! <br /><br /><br /><br />What lessons have you learned as an adult? Send us an email and tell us the most meaningful lesson you've learned, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-04-15T17:58:00Z
You Taught Me How to Think
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Taught-Me-How-to-Think/772712584481979868.html
2019-04-12T17:58:00Z
2019-04-12T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Today I fantasized about not "<em>being here</em>" so as not to have to deal with feelings of anger, disappointment, and real life. <br /><br />Then I thought, "<em>Well, today's not a good day to jump off a bridge because I'M NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR! What would they say, after all?"</em> <br /><br />That thought alone made me chuckle. It made me come home to walk the dogs, throw the ball, and remember that YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO THINK. <br /><br />That brought me around! So, the dogs are worn out, my head space is right again, and I have you to thank...again.<br /><br />Respectfully, <br /><br />Deb</p>
<p><br /><br />What have you learned from the show? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-04-12T17:58:00Z
There is No Guarantee
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/There-is-No-Guarantee/475704029363230095.html
2019-04-11T17:58:00Z
2019-04-11T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I remember taking my kids to Sea World and watching a show that kept saying "<em>anything is possible if you believe!</em>" Really?! <br /><br />I hate to sound all negative, but this message seemed a little meaningless, if not ridiculous to me. I don't mean that we shouldn't try things. <br /><br />There are times when even when we really, really want something, and do ALL we can to achieve it, we have to know there is still no guarantee that all our dreams will come true. To expect anything less is unrealistic. <br /><br /><br /><br />Do you think anything is possible if you <em>believe</em>? Send us an email and tell us your opinion, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-04-11T17:58:00Z
I Love You, But I'm Not IN Love With You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Love-You,-But-Im-Not-IN-Love-With-You/603338099017480276.html
2019-04-10T17:58:00Z
2019-04-10T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I'm writing in response to your comment yesterday, about a woman talking about loving someone, but not being <em>IN</em> love with them. I also think that was a silly statement for her to make. It reminded me of something I saw in a movie. <br /><br />A woman who told her boyfriend that she loved him, but wasn't <em>IN</em> love with him anymore. As he was gathering his things to leave, he poked her eyelid with his finger. <br /><br /></p>
<blockquote>She said: "<em>Oh My God! You poked my eye!</em>" <br /><br />He responded: "<em>No I didn't, and I poked you IN the eye.</em>" <br /><br />She responds: "<em>What's the difference...there's no difference!</em>" <br /><br />He mumbles as he leaves: "<em>Well APPARENTLY there is."</em></blockquote>
<br /><br />Do you think loving someone vs being <em>IN</em> love with them is different? Send us an email and tell us your opinion, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-04-10T17:58:00Z
Thank You For the Reminders
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You-For-the-Reminders/-379874667524855112.html
2019-04-09T17:58:00Z
2019-04-09T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just wanted to thank you for being my on air friend for the last fourteen years. I have been blessed to be married to an incredible man and stay at home mom with my three kids. Now that it is time for me to head back to work I realize how much wisdom you have imparted on my life. <br /><br />Thank you for reminding me daily to welcome my husband home and be his girlfriend that can be so hard after dealing with three kids all day the joy of seeing my husband smile and wrap his warm arms around me, push all the tightened muscles in my shoulders down and help me feel at peace for the rest of the night. <br /><br />Thank you for reminding me that it is so worth it to be home with your kids. It is always said, that they grow up way to fast. My once little girl is in high school planning her homecoming girls night. <br /><br />Thank you for reminding me to laugh. I can't tell you how often I think of the "<em>put your hands in jello</em>" call and remember to relax with the kids; laugh out loud, hug and squeeze them. <br /><br />Finally, thank you for "<em>between now and dead, how do you want to live your life,</em>" such powerful words. Life is short. It should be spent living in love and happiness. It should be spent in the present rather than in the drama of the past. <br /><br />I hope you remain strong and healthy, please remember you are an incredible and respected woman. I hope you hear that often. Have wonderful day and know you have made a big impact on my life and I am forever grateful for it. <br /><br /><br /><br />What are you thankful for? Send us an email and tell us your thoughts, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-04-09T17:58:00Z
It's That Simple
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-That-Simple/551019969028406440.html
2019-04-08T17:58:00Z
2019-04-08T17:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><span><br />I needed to chime in on phones at the dinner table. I just put mine away, silence it or turn it off; whatever the occasion happens to call for. It is that simple. You should show respect for friends and love ones. <br /><br />There is nothing worse than hanging out with someone who has their face in the phone the whole time or the constant sound of texts coming in. I can see checking it when needed, but don't be half present!<br /></span></span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><br />What do you think of cell phones during family time? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-04-08T17:58:00Z
There is No Guarantee
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/There-is-No-Guarantee/453072011015223967.html
2019-04-05T17:58:00Z
2019-04-05T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I remember taking my kids to Sea World and watching a show that kept saying "<em>anything is possible if you believe!</em>" Really?! <br /><br />I hate to sound all negative, but this message seemed a little meaningless, if not ridiculous to me. I don't mean that we shouldn't try things. <br /><br />There are times when even when we really, really want something, and do ALL we can to achieve it, we have to know there is still no guarantee that all our dreams will come true. To expect anything less is unrealistic. <br /><br /><br /><br />Do you think anything is possible if you <em>believe</em>? Send us an email and tell us your opinion, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-04-05T17:58:00Z
To Abstain or Not to Abstain?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/To-Abstain-or-Not-to-Abstain/-732917124148716454.html
2019-04-04T17:58:00Z
2019-04-04T17:58:00Z
<br />Abstinence until marriage is the best!!! It's also the BEST gift you could ever give your future spouse.<br /><br />To say you WAITED for them, instead of shacking up and throwing the benefits and blessings of marriage to the wind. If you do have sex without the blessing of marriage, you rob yourself and your partner of the best blessing you will ever know. <br /><br />Its not anything special if you don't wait.<br /><br /><br /><span>What are your thoughts on abstinence before marriage? Share with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2019-04-04T17:58:00Z
It Makes Me Smile
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Makes-Me-Smile/229041705098555175.html
2019-04-03T17:58:00Z
2019-04-03T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />I just want to thank you, Dr. Laura for giving good advice for so long. When I was working in sales and driving my car all day, I used to listen to you on the car radio. <br /><br />Sometimes a call would really resonate with me. I would think, <em>"I wish someone had said that to me when I was younger.</em>" So I started saying what I'd heard you say to my grandchildren. <br /><br />Today, one of my granddaughters posted one of your quotes on her Facebook page. It made me smile. So thank you, Dr. Laura, for being there for so many of us. It matters. <br /><br />Warm regards,<br /><br /> Kathy <br /><br /><br /><br />What small thing makes you smile? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-04-03T17:58:00Z
Learning One Day At A Time
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-One-Day-At-A-Time/809612797097421404.html
2019-04-02T17:58:00Z
2019-04-02T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br />I have been married for a little over a year and been with my husband for almost 5 years. I am a nanny and tend to spill over my nanny hood, or in other words, I find myself 'mothering' my husband sometimes. He also has expressed to me that I treat him like I am his mom. I hate hearing that because I want him to know that I do support him and that he is capable to live his own life. I struggle with nitpicking and I've been listening to you. I get it. I get it that it's not up to me what or how my husband thinks.<br /><br />He does such a great job taking care of me, putting me first, which shows he is selfless. I know he puts his needs last and I don't want him to do that. So by listening to your podcasts and reading your blog posts, it has given me some clarity on the words and thoughts I express to him. I am an old-fashioned kinda girl and I love how you describe how relationships these days are so careless and more about electronics instead. I went onto Amazon and bought your book. Looking forward to reading it and learning how to feed my husbands manhood and soul. <br /><br />Thank you, soo much for all your advice and honesty. I'm always learning one day or thought at a time! <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br /><br />Karry</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-04-02T17:58:00Z
Thankful For Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thankful-For-Dr.-Laura/-322199930282420494.html
2019-04-01T17:58:00Z
2019-04-01T17:58:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just want to tell you how much you have impacted my life. Here are just a couple of recent examples, of the affect that Dr. Laura has had on my family.<br /><br />
<ul>
<li>My husband and son were discussing couples one day. My son looked at his dad and said, "<em>Look, Dad, must </em>couples<em> don't have the type of relationship that you and mom have. You enjoy each others company and do activities together.</em>"</li>
<br />
<li>This past Saturday, I spent the whole day with my (maybe) future daughter-in-law. I thought to myself, "<em>What am I going to say to this young lady?</em>" Then I thought of your wisdom. Ask her questions, show that you are interested in her! It was such a delightful day, way beyond my expectations. </li>
</ul>
You have impacted my life so much, I am so grateful to have found you! <br /><br />Cheryl
<ul>
</ul>
<br /><br />Has Dr. Laura helped your life? Tell us how things have changed,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2019-04-01T17:58:00Z
A Real Man...For 50 Years!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Real-Man...For-50-Years!/399944206200914905.html
2019-03-29T17:58:00Z
2019-03-29T17:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><span><br />When my husband and I were first married, 50 years ago and college students we would meet for lunch on campus. He would often peel my orange or remove the sandwich crusts from the lunch we brought from home. <br /><br />Fifty years later, I mistakenly bought seeded grapes to a picnic we had. When I said I would probably throw them out, he said nothing. However, when we sat down for lunch, I found that he had removed those tiny little seeds from a lovely bunch of grapes and arranged them on my plate! <br /><br />That's a real man, that is very loved and appreciated.<br /><br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />How wonderful is your man? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-03-29T17:58:00Z
'Man Up'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Man-Up/842364652787702899.html
2019-03-28T17:58:00Z
2019-03-28T17:58:00Z
<br />I listen to the show daily and I Love It! Carson always does a great job playing just the right song at just the right time! <br /><br />I recently purchased an album by the singer, Nikki Lane, who has a song called "<em>Man Up</em>." Thought y'all might like to check it out. Reminds me of some folks who call in. They need to hear it. Might be a good clip to play from time to time for these men who aren't Manning up! Enjoy.<br /><br />Take care and I'll be listening<br /><br />
<blockquote><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDlkRG4IT_M" target="_blank">Man Up</a><br />By Nikki Lane<br /><br /><em>Where do you think I'm getting all these flowers? </em><br /><em>You've been watching T.V. for hours and hours</em><br /><em> Don't you ever think our love has gone and fade </em><br /><em> I'm supposed to be a girl, I don't wanna be a lady </em><br /><br /><em>Better take a hard luck before I say good-bye </em><br /><em>You better get up your ass, you better man up </em><br /><em>I'm gon' have to be the one who acts tough</em><br /><em> You better love me like like you can't get enough like </em><br /><em>Only thing that makes you feel so good If you find someone you know, and man up </em><br /><br /><em>My roof's been leaking since last July </em><br /><em>That bucket's full of the tears that I cried </em><br /><em>I gotta find some place that's nice and dry </em><br /><em>My dear momma, she said my oh my </em><br /><em>My ma ma man up, better grab his ducks and fly </em><br /><em>Don't take his hard luck </em><br /><em>I had to say goodbye</em></blockquote>
<br /><br /><br />Have you heard a song that you want Dr. Laura to hear? Share it with us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2019-03-28T17:58:00Z
It Takes Two To Tango
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Takes-Two-To-Tango/31961610799625018.html
2019-03-27T17:58:00Z
2019-03-27T17:58:00Z
<p><span><br /></span>Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am long-time, loyal podcast listener all the way from Santiago, Chile! I was listening to a November podcast where a grandmother called in with a "daughter-in-law problem". She expressed her angst regarding her her daughter-in-law working outside the home and consequently placing her grand babies in daycare. <br /><br />You clarified and explained that her problem was with her SON. He chose a woman with whom TOGETHER, they chose to abandon their children into institutionalized daycare. You went on to describe how you would have frequent discussions with your boy as he was growing up; about the importance of choosing a woman who held the same values as he did.<br /><br />I actually do the same thing with my boys! They are currently 7 and 9. I remember bursting with pride as I overheard my oldest explain to my mother that he will NOT be getting married in his 20's because chances are he'll end up choosing a wife based on how pretty she is and not based on the important stuff - like whether she'll be a good mom to their children and a good wife to him!<br /><br />Here's hoping you don't retire anytime soon at the very least, please wait until my boys are out of their teenage years! <br /><br />Regards, <br /><br />Penny<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Is it harder raising boys into little men OR raising girls into little ladies? Tell us what you think, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2019-03-27T17:58:00Z
Forging Ahead
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Forging-Ahead/258277185048705103.html
2019-03-26T17:58:00Z
2019-03-26T17:58:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I lost the vision in my right eye due to complications during my pregnancy with my son. My vision had been stable in my left eye for the past 13 years, but it took a sudden turn for the worst. When I got the news that the doctors could do nothing more, my husband of 18 years decided that he didn't want to be married anymore. He couldn't handle me going blind and he had started seeing someone else. <br /><br />After he left, I had to go back to work. I had not worked in 18 years! Luckily, I had gone back to school and completed my degree. Against all odds, I was able to get a job when the unemployment rate was at its highest. I am now working as a social worker. Although I don't make much money, I love my job! I just want to say that people with disabilities might lack body parts, but we make that up in heart and willingness to forge ahead. I have no choice but to keep working. I have to finish raising my son. <br /><br />I am grateful to be able to be able to work while I can, and see my wonderful son! I also get to help people who are in need. <br /><br />Love your show!<br /><br /> <br /><br /><br />Have you ever beat the odds? Tell us about it,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2019-03-26T17:58:00Z
Losing Yourself In Motherhood
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Losing-Yourself-In-Motherhood/301905233056061063.html
2019-03-25T17:58:00Z
2019-03-25T17:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><span><br /><br />I think I approached my new role as mom differently than most. For me, mothering was in stages. Each new stage had its overwhelming sense of '<em>am I doing this right?</em>' <br /><br />As I learned, I could relax about that issue and so continue in to the next stage. Teenagers are the toughest I think, because you have a person trying to assert who they are; except they don't know who they are yet. Part of it for me was giving them enough freedom to be themselves, while balancing them when the boundary was surpassed. Every teenager tests the limits so boundaries must be enforced and put into place. <br /><br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
How did you handle being a new mom? Tell us more about them and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-03-25T17:58:00Z
Thank You For the Reminders
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You-For-the-Reminders/-483799192861002281.html
2019-03-22T17:58:00Z
2019-03-22T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just wanted to thank you for being my on air friend for the last fourteen years. I have been blessed to be married to an incredible man and stay at home mom with my three kids. Now that it is time for me to head back to work I realize how much wisdom you have imparted on my life. <br /><br />Thank you for reminding me daily to welcome my husband home and be his girlfriend that can be so hard after dealing with three kids all day the joy of seeing my husband smile and wrap his warm arms around me, push all the tightened muscles in my shoulders down and help me feel at peace for the rest of the night. <br /><br />Thank you for reminding me that it is so worth it to be home with your kids. It is always said, that they grow up way to fast. My once little girl is in high school planning her homecoming girls night. <br /><br />Thank you for reminding me to laugh. I can't tell you how often I think of the "<em>put your hands in jello</em>" call and remember to relax with the kids; laugh out loud, hug and squeeze them. <br /><br />Finally, thank you for "<em>between now and dead, how do you want to live your life,</em>" such powerful words. Life is short. It should be spent living in love and happiness. It should be spent in the present rather than in the drama of the past. <br /><br />I hope you remain strong and healthy, please remember you are an incredible and respected woman. I hope you hear that often. Have wonderful day and know you have made a big impact on my life and I am forever grateful for it. <br /><br /><br /><br />What are you thankful for? Send us an email and tell us your thoughts, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-03-22T17:58:00Z
Learning To Treat Kindly
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-To-Treat-Kindly/-148910437478334964.html
2019-03-21T17:58:00Z
2019-03-21T17:58:00Z
<br />Hello Dr. Laura: <br /><br />I am 50-years-old. My husband is in the Army Reserves, our 21-year-old son will be in the Army upon his college graduation. I have listened to you off and on for years but have never really taken your advice on how to "treat kindly" to heart. Recently I started listening to you via Podcast. You've helped me learn and grow. <br /><br />There are several things I would like to tell you that I feel have been part of my transformation: <br /><br /><ol>
<li>I love hearing about your successes with your training. I started to workout 5 days a week and have not looked back! I also know how difficult a front squat is to do!! My favorite thing to do is tell my husband about my WOD and he loves to listen. I also ran 2 - 13.1 1/2 Marathons in the last year with my husband. I am no longer on my Type 2 diabetes medication and have never felt better. </li>
<br />
<li>My husband has always wanted me to be more healthy. He is excited for his new woman/girlfriend. </li>
<br />
<li>I have decided to strive to put your "treat kindly" idea into action; since I did obviously "choose wisely". Recently, my husband had a day off of work. He offered to take my car in for the oil change it desperately needed. <strong>A happy man is wonderful to have around and it does not take much to make him happy</strong>. What a guy!</li>
<br />
<li>I just wish I would have had my attitude adjustment sooner in life...but from here forward, I am going to remain my kids' mom and just as important...my husband's girlfriend. </li>
<br />
<li>I also started putting God's word in my life on a daily basis. I think that has made a huge difference for me too! </li>
</ol><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, for plugging away everyday with the plain truth that people need to hear. <br /><ol> </ol><br />Love you, <br /><br />Jane<br /> <br /> <br /><br /><br />What have you done to make a change in yourself? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2019-03-21T17:58:00Z
Challenging My Limits
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Challenging-My-Limits/290468027606642928.html
2019-03-20T17:58:00Z
2019-03-20T17:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><span><br />Things are back to normal and I now have my life back after four months of rehab. All I can say from this recent setback is that you really can do more than you initially thought possible. <br /><br />My disability did not keep me from enjoying visiting my home town. While in visiting, my family and I took a bus tour of the city. We went on the top level of the double decker bus. I went up the stairs on my knees and went down the stairs on my tush. <br /><br />Afterwards my sister-in-law was looking for me on the top deck and I had already gotten off the bus. I also kept up with everyone as we were walking around town. I even managed to climb a flight of stairs while visiting friends. I got up the stairs with one crutch. <br /><br />All in all, it was a wonderful memory. It's great testing what you can actually achieve!<br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<br />What limit do you have that you would like to overcome? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2019-03-20T17:58:00Z
You Make A Difference
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Make-A-Difference/558820709868995023.html
2019-03-19T17:55:00Z
2019-03-19T17:55:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have called you a few times in the past, including last summer when my children were fighting and you wisely suggested a money jar. Each time the kids fought, regardless of who was to blame, they owed money in the jar. Glad to report they get along significantly better and are maturing beautifully. <br /><br />The purpose of my call was not to get on the air, but rather to tell you that there are many people like I who you may not necessarily hear from, but who you are doubtlessly benefiting. I know it's been a taxing year for you and at times on air I can hear the struggle. <br /><br />Just please keep this in the back of your head - YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE. You provide old fashioned values that our society NEEDS and LACKS. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Lauren<br /><br /><br />Do you think Dr. Laura makes a difference? How? Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2019-03-19T17:55:00Z
Influencing Generations
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Influencing-Generations/604874608324336085.html
2019-03-18T17:58:00Z
2019-03-18T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I wound up registering on your site, and felt compelled to take a moment to thank you for all the years of influence you have been in my life.</p>
<p>My 14 year old daughter is doing her homework as I type, and I want to mention that kid has grown up "knowing" you, hearing your voice as she rode in her baby car seat, and then booster seat. I decided to quit my job when she was born, and it was LARGELY due to YOU and your influence. I was a teacher myself, and when it came time to find an appropriate day care, I kept hearing your words in my head. I left that day care "interview", 8 months pregnant and huge. While the babies in the day care were beautiful as can be, they were propped up in a circle, each in his/her own little baby seat, and there was no practical way for each one to have much attention. They looked like little planes waiting on a runway, or maybe a warehouse for babies. It made me feel so sad I made up my mind then and there we would figure out how to live on one paycheck. We did have to scale back financially in EVERY way, truly we did, but I became the second-hand store super-shopper. I was so well known to the ladies there they put my then-baby daughter and me in one of their television commercials. Very cool.</p>
<p>So that's how we spent our days, while she was growing up, we had a routine, playgroups, field trips, and plenty of time to bond. We'd get into our car and take a little spin just before nap time. I'd buy a yummy coffee drink (my daily indulgence) and then baby, later toddler, and I would drive and listen to you on the radio! It was the best part of my day, it really was, it helped center me, reassure me, and remind me why I'd quit a job I loved. I listened to your sage wisdom, and that was time I could NEVER RECLAIM. I am so glad you came into our lives through the radio. To give you an idea how long ago that's been, when we started listening, you were advertising your 50th birthday party, and later the second annual 50th birthday party, LOL. My daughter claims she remembers all that. I was decidedly indoctrinating her; I wanted her to be immersed in the wisdom that is your show. Now, that doesn't mean we always see eye-to-eye on everything, but I don't think you expect or demand that from your loyal followers, not at all.</p>
<p>Fast forward to now: daughter is 14 and she is a wonderful, kind-hearted, DECENT kid, one who thinks of others, one who lives to honor herself by her own deeds and good works. And I can't resist telling you that now, when we're in the car we say, "Oh, oh, oh, Dr. Laura's on, let's listen." and sometimes someone will ask a question that makes us each turn to the other and go "OH NO! You must not listen to this show, you are gonna be so BUSTED!!" We laugh and realize we've been bonding over your show all these years. EVERY DAY YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE. THANK YOU FOR THE INFLUENCIAL TEACHER YOU'VE BEEN.</p>
<p>Lisa</p>
Staff
2019-03-18T17:58:00Z
The Most Important Decision I Made
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Most-Important-Decision-I-Made/241108022259574105.html
2019-03-15T17:58:00Z
2019-03-15T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I have been a stay-at-home mom for the last 11 years. I had a good prestigious job at a prestigious institution. My husband and I had decided when the baby arrived I would quit my job. That is exactly what I did. This was the most important decision I made and I don't have an ounce of regret. My husband and I both agreed no daycare provider would be able to provide the love and care I could give to our daughter.</p>
<p>My daughter is in middle school now but everyone sees the difference it has made in her personality and her level of self-confidence. She is the best student in her class and is liked by her teachers. I have given her all the attention I could and tried to raise her with the best religious and moral values. Yes, we have less money to spend but neither my husband nor I am materialistic. We are teaching our daughter to also be less materialistic and more spiritual.</p>
<p>I know sometimes necessity drives women to leave their children in daycare, but it really boggles my mind when women go to work and leave their children in the care of others because they want to fulfill their own desires. I was taken by surprise and sadness when I heard the story of one of my friends' sister-in-law who has two nannies to take care of her twins - one during the day when she is at work and one for the night when she needs her sleep. So why did she have these children?</p>
<p>I am very glad God has provided me the opportunity to be with my daughter and see her grow into a beautiful, confident, God-fearing young lady. No amount of money in the world can substitute for the treasure I have.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, for always standing for the right thing.</p>
<p>S.</p>
Staff
2019-03-15T17:58:00Z
Forging Ahead
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Forging-Ahead/153404454191298203.html
2019-03-14T17:58:00Z
2019-03-14T17:58:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I lost the vision in my right eye due to complications during my pregnancy with my son. My vision had been stable in my left eye for the past 13 years, but it took a sudden turn for the worst. When I got the news that the doctors could do nothing more, my husband of 18 years decided that he didn't want to be married anymore. He couldn't handle me going blind and he had started seeing someone else. <br /><br />After he left, I had to go back to work. I had not worked in 18 years! Luckily, I had gone back to school and completed my degree. Against all odds, I was able to get a job when the unemployment rate was at its highest. I am now working as a social worker. Although I don't make much money, I love my job! I just want to say that people with disabilities might lack body parts, but we make that up in heart and willingness to forge ahead. I have no choice but to keep working. I have to finish raising my son. <br /><br />I am grateful to be able to be able to work while I can, and see my wonderful son! I also get to help people who are in need. <br /><br />Love your show!<br /><br /> <br /><br /><br />Have you ever beat the odds? Tell us about it,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2019-03-14T17:58:00Z
Adoption Works
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Adoption-Works/-299350836952866475.html
2019-03-13T17:58:00Z
2019-03-13T17:58:00Z
<p><br />My husband and I are married forever and have two sons and a daughter.</p>
<p>As soon as my then 15-year-old daughter asked me what would make her period late, I knew she was pregnant. There was no boyfriend in sight. She had been sneaking out to see a boy she knew wasn't good enough to bring home. I was furious. I was beyond angry. I was just preparing to launch a nasty string of words condemning my daughter for the pregnancy when she stopped me with words of her own, "It's okay. I'm going to place the baby for adoption." Well, I was still angry; however, to her credit, my daughter took excellent care of herself during her pregnancy. She missed only one day of school. She took on a part time job. She worked with an agency and chose a young couple to raise her baby.</p>
<p>After she delivered this healthy baby, she was home for only three weeks before returning to school and work. Getting pregnant was certainly wrong; however, she made something very right from that. The baby is now three years old and absolutely cherished by his family. It feels so good to know that this family now exists where it did not before because of what my daughter did.</p>
<p>She is now in college, a fresh start, and has turned her life around. She made the best decision that could be made in that situation. Not a day goes by that I don't think about that child who has the most wonderful family. God willing, someday, when the time is right, my daughter will have a wonderful family too.</p>
<p>Please, Dr Laura, keep speaking out for adoption. My daughter did the most loving thing she could do and for all of us. Babies and families are precious.</p>
<p>Susan</p>
Staff
2019-03-13T17:58:00Z
Support and Wisdom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Support-and-Wisdom/-700624830570656941.html
2019-03-12T17:58:00Z
2019-03-12T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>You changed my life. Seventeen years ago you were the voice of sanity in a sea of naysayers (even my own sister!) when I wanted to leave my job and stay home with my infant son. I did it anyway and listened to you every afternoon just to get the affirmation from someone that I was doing the right thing. We were so broke we couldn't afford a thing beyond diapers and formula, but we did it and I don't regret a moment of it!</p>
<p>You were the voice of reason who helped me keep my marriage together when we lost track of our shared goals. Our kids were still young and my husband traveled a lot and we both were miserable! Your book "Proper Care and Feeing of Husbands" showed me the way to keep our family together and we are now happier than ever before. Married 23 years with two teenagers, we are doing great since Dad is home every night because we moved to another state so we could have family dinners and telling conversations every night!</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for sharing your wisdom. My life is better for it!</p>
<p>J.</p>
Staff
2019-03-12T17:58:00Z
Be Grateful for Dumb Women
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Be-Grateful-for-Dumb-Women/403786099465796836.html
2019-03-11T17:58:00Z
2019-03-11T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr Laura,</p>
<p>My first husband found love with his hairdresser after 12 years of marriage with me. I guess therapy was clearly showing his immaturity and he shacked up with a 28-year-old, 15 years his junior. Maybe she made him feel more mature.</p>
<p>After years of praying for one dumb woman to let a good man go, I got a call from an old friend telling me how she was having a "<em>torrid love affair with a doctor</em>" and she was divorcing her husband. (The four of us go way back to the '80s when she and I were in nursing school together.) I loved my husband, but I knew the kind of man she had married: faithful, hardworking, and a fine father of 3. I called him to hear how 25 years of marriage can mean so little to a person. Well, Dr. Laura, he was a wreck. He was totally oblivious to her jaunts with the boyfriend, the doctor. (The safety and security of faithfulness is so important). He felt comfortable in opening up to me, especially with so much history of us all palling around together when we were single and then as the children came.</p>
<p>He told me they had one more counseling session and I was worried yet satisfied in feeling only the best would come from that session. What would be was meant to be. I prayed the entire time they were meeting. 30 minutes later, I received a call from him. The session went with her telling him she never loved him, thus setting him free, and for us to begin a new life together!!</p>
<p>Dr. Laura, we married and he is the best thing to ever happen to me. We have a beautiful life we are building together. He got his motorcycle license as I asked of him. We have a Harley which we have a blast on together. This man of mine has the most beautiful soul. He is kind and loves my kids as his own. He treats me like a princess and if I can make his life easy for him is justly deserves. We are in our early 50's and have finally found love and commitment the way it was intended to be.</p>
<p>I thank God every day, especially for dumb women.</p>
<p>Most sincerely and thank you for all you do,</p>
<p>Gina</p>
Staff
2019-03-11T17:58:00Z
Comparing Myself to Others
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Comparing-Myself-to-Others/521135550621624553.html
2019-03-08T18:58:00Z
2019-03-08T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I think your topic about comparing yourself to others is great. I think we all do it, and it's very difficult to avoid. It can certainly be destructive. Envy is not one of the deadly sins for no reason. Coveting other people's spouses or possessions has certainly led to the downfall of many. I am constantly on the watch for that type of thing in my life. I don't want to fall into that trap.</p>
<p>I do think there can be a positive side of this. If you know someone who has something great going for them, it's natural to compare yourself. But if you're coming up short, being envious and petty is not how to handle it. If you can figure out what they are doing which caused them to have such a great situation, you can earn that for yourself.</p>
<p>I get told all the time it's unfair to judge the marriages of the people around me as compared to mine. To a certain extent that is true. But sometimes that statement annoys me. My husband and I are an unusually good match. I think it's rare to find a partner who clicks as well as my husband and I do. The thing is, I am as female as the next woman. There are days where I want to be snotty just because I feel like it. The difference is I choose not to do it (and when I do, I apologize and try to avoid it in the future). We don't agree on everything, and we have habits that annoy each other. The difference between my marriage, and the marriage of many of my friends, is we CHOOSE NOT TO FIGHT. It's a choice every single day that we are not going to make each other's lives hell for the sake of saying we "won". When you alienate your spouse, you didn't win any damn thing, in fact, you lost more than your spouse did.</p>
<p>Instead of saying my husband and I are unnaturally in sync with each other, if more people asked "How do you guys get along so well?" - they would see how they too could get along. When I find someone with an attribute I admire, I do compare myself. When I come up short, as I often do, I try to figure out what they are doing that gave them the attribute. Then I do the WORK to earn the right to call that quality mine. None of the people we look up to got where they are without work. They all had to decide what they wanted to be and work hard to get there. The only good reason to ever compare ourselves to someone, is when we are willing to do the work to change ourselves for the better. Otherwise, it's just a form of torture.</p>
<p>Kristy</p>
Staff
2019-03-08T18:58:00Z
Gold Medal Stay at Home Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Gold-Medal-Stay-at-Home-Dad/217159933918400246.html
2019-03-07T18:58:00Z
2019-03-07T18:58:00Z
<p><br />My husband and I started a business and I went back to work for the first time in 20 years. We joined the Chamber of Commerce and I went to hear an Olympic gold medalist speak even though I know 0 about the Olympics. There were empty seats toward the front so I sat there and asked the gentleman next to me what he did. He told me he was a stay at home dad to his 2 girls age 1 and 3. He was clearly very proud of what he did. I was impressed without knowing who he was. This was Jimmy Shea, our speaker and I had no clue. He said raising his kids was not very different from training as a professional athlete, he does everything he does with total passion. He is a 3rd generation gold medalist and said kids are pushed too hard to compete in sports today and his family never pushed him. You would love this man. Here was a man manly enough and able to embrace what he is doing. I am certain his wife is still able to see him as a hero.</p>
<p>By the way, my son is a Marine. Listening to you really helped me to understand and be proud of what he is doing.</p>
<p>Liz</p>
Staff
2019-03-07T18:58:00Z
Benefits of Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Benefits-of-Marriage/-688923239961688088.html
2019-03-06T18:58:00Z
2019-03-06T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I am 27 and live in Los Angeles. Many of the people who I encounter that are my age say they don't believe in marriage, or they are indifferent about marriage. My husband's friends from college are all in their 30s and shacking up, some for 7+ years.</p>
<p>Upon getting married we immediately got backlash from some of those feminestas acquaintances with lines such as "<em>I would NEVER share a bank account with a MAN</em>" or "<em>In my opinion you guys moved way too fast</em>" (we dated for 1.5 years) or "<em>I don't see the difference between what you have and what I and my boyfriend (ahem shack-up honey) have.</em>"</p>
<p>I can tell by their defensiveness and hostility that of course they see the difference. My husband adores me. He gave me a diamond ring, and promised to take care of me forever before he knew if I was good in bed. We said "I do," and then had sex. (What a concept, right?) He put me through graduate school and supported me 100%, even knowing when we have children, I will stay home and raise our kids.</p>
<p>Unlike these shack-ups, if anything were to happen to my boyfriend/husband, I am protected by having the legal status as his wife. There is no stability in shack-up situations, no rules and women are treated with a complete lack of respect (though I can't really blame the men since the women aren't demanding respect).</p>
<p>Marriage has changed my life for the better because I married a REAL MAN who tells me daily, "<em>I will do anything to make you happy.</em>" I live my life striving to do the same for him.</p>
<p>I truly pity the people my age who see no value in this. Deep down I think they know what they're missing, but by admitting it, they would have to reject everything they've ever learned from public school, their parents, TV shows, and society today. I hope they'll wake up soon and start rejecting society's warped view of marriage, lest I fear my generation's future.</p>
<p>Natalie</p>
Staff
2019-03-06T18:58:00Z
Bad Mom, Good Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bad-Mom,-Good-Mom/-185405564742567968.html
2019-03-05T18:58:00Z
2019-03-05T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I love the advice you give women with bad moms.</p>
<p>I had a bad mom, the kind who would scream, call me stupid, hit and grab me by the ear and drag me on the floor. Every time I go back to my home state, I am torn wanting to have that mother/daughter relationship I never had. I just think I must not be a good daughter because I am conflicted between having a relationship with her and staying as far away as I can. Every time I start feeling sad about the relationship and love I never got from her, I start thinking about something you said.</p>
<p>I got a second chance to have that mother/daughter relationship I never had with my mom. Every day I tell my daughter, "I am so happy you are my daughter." She surprises me every time when she says, "I am so glad you are my mom." So, I chose not to be like my mom and I do have a wonderful, self confident, intelligent daughter who makes me laugh and likes to do things with me.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for repeating the message that we get a second chance in life with our daughters to have a mother/daughter relationship.</p>
<p>Jeanette</p>
Staff
2019-03-05T18:58:00Z
Hanging Up My Ego
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hanging-Up-My-Ego/839993934814822876.html
2019-03-04T18:58:00Z
2019-03-04T18:58:00Z
<p><br />The #1 biggest and hardest part about being a SAHM is that darned ego. I thought it would be easy to hang it up on the door because it would be replaced by buckets of warm fuzzies and the complete inner satisfaction that I am doing a job that know one can do better than me.</p>
<p>Pause...just had to stop my boy from head bucking his sister.</p>
<p>There is a little of that, but on a scale of 1 to 10 it is usually a 2 instead of the premeditated 10. That is because I do lose my temper when that child will not take his nap (which he hasn't done since he was born) and I really wonder at times if maybe some one else could do better than me.</p>
<p>Pause...just had to keep sister from being smothered with a rattle.</p>
<p>And there is this consensus around adults that you should be able to control your children. If they don't behave, then just discipline them! How dare they bang the glass doors to the office building when coming to pick up father from work, after mother has been doing the laundry at the laundry mat while trying to keep her toddler from running into the street for the past 3 hours... And if you do discipline them, better stick with weak time outs because if the neighbor sees you spank or yell at your kid they will call the cops on you.</p>
<p>Pause…to look at the airplane and keep the baby from being rocked to death.</p>
<p>Okay, back to the ego issue. So it's a lonely afternoon. I am looking at my house which has been cleaned several times but looks like a complete disaster. And the thought comes to me...what if I was single. What if I was still pursuing my career as an amazing musician? Then I wouldn't know how horrible of a person I really am that being a mother has taught me to know about myself. I would still think I was amazing.</p>
<p>I can't help but hear my neighbor practicing singing. She is a professional. What I always wanted to be. And I glance at my flute which hasn't been pulled out since my 3 month old was born. I thought I could keep up my skills as a mother, but I can't when pulling out the instrument could result in it being destroyed! And then there is my other neighbor who is also a professional musician and always has amazing stories to tell about her career. Come on! How can that not pull my heart strings? I can just hear the devil angel on my shoulder, "Just look who they are...and just look at you and your dirty house."</p>
<p>Oh well, time to get back to cleaning, enough complaining. Because I know there are no egos in heaven. Maybe I am still amazing after all.</p>
<p>Pause... to play with a jump rope.</p>
<p>Julie</p>
Staff
2019-03-04T18:58:00Z
Our Marriage Adventure
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-Marriage-Adventure/440534277500565115.html
2019-03-01T18:58:00Z
2019-03-01T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Just this morning at the beauty shop some young girls were talking about not wanting to marry, being pressured by mothers to marry, or not wanting children. They all said, "I'm too young to get married." They were aghast when I said I was married at 19. They asked how long I had been married and I answered 52 years. They appeared to be looking at a dinosaur.</p>
<p>I said, it doesn't matter how old you are, when you find your soul mate that is when you marry. I found mine while he was in medical school and I was a student nurse. We shared common values of religion, politics and economics. We both wanted children. We shared a common love of classical music and loved performing the same. We loved opera. Our first date was to see Van Cliburn play at the Grant Park Band Shell on his triumphant concert tour after becoming the first American to win the International Tchaikovsky Piano Competition in Moscow. I still remember the thrill of that performance. We laughed together. We finished each other's sentences. We knew what the other was thinking. And we truly cared about each other. We worked together. We complimented each other. We respected each other. We were ready to face the world together, and what an adventure we have had.</p>
<p>After living a long time now, I realize marriage is not for everyone. But, for those who are blessed with a good marriage, I can wish you no greater comfort or joy. After 52 years, we are still "having an Adventure!"</p>
<p>Vicki</p>
Staff
2019-03-01T18:58:00Z
Benefits of Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Benefits-of-Marriage/362859111781044531.html
2019-02-28T18:58:00Z
2019-02-28T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I am 27 and live in Los Angeles. Many of the people who I encounter that are my age say they don't believe in marriage, or they are indifferent about marriage. My husband's friends from college are all in their 30s and shacking up, some for 7+ years.</p>
<p>Upon getting married we immediately got backlash from some of those feminestas acquaintances with lines such as "I would NEVER share a bank account with a MAN" or "In my opinion you guys moved way too fast" (we dated for 1.5 years) or "I don't see the difference between what you have and what I and my boyfriend (ahem shack-up honey) have."</p>
<p>I can tell by their defensiveness and hostility that of course they see the difference. My husband adores me. He gave me a diamond ring, and promised to take care of me forever before he knew if I was good in bed. We said "I do," and then had sex. (What a concept, right?) He put me through graduate school and supported me 100%, even knowing when we have children, I will stay home and raise our kids.</p>
<p>Unlike these shack-ups, if anything were to happen to my boyfriend/husband, I am protected by having the legal status as his wife. There is no stability in shack-up situations, no rules and women are treated with a complete lack of respect (though I can't really blame the men since the women aren't demanding respect).</p>
<p>Marriage has changed my life for the better because I married a REAL MAN who tells me daily, "I will do anything to make you happy." I live my life striving to do the same for him.</p>
<p>I truly pity the people my age who see no value in this. Deep down I think they know what they're missing, but by admitting it, they would have to reject everything they've ever learned from public school, their parents, TV shows, and society today. I hope they'll wake up soon and start rejecting society's warped view of marriage, lest I fear my generation's future.</p>
<p>Natalie</p>
Staff
2019-02-28T18:58:00Z
Bad Mom, Good Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bad-Mom,-Good-Mom/193441116622339031.html
2019-02-27T18:58:00Z
2019-02-27T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I love the advice you give women with bad moms.</p>
<p>I had a bad mom, the kind who would scream, call me stupid, hit and grab me by the ear and drag me on the floor. Every time I go back to my home state, I am torn wanting to have that mother/daughter relationship I never had. I just think I must not be a good daughter because I am conflicted between having a relationship with her and staying as far away as I can. Every time I start feeling sad about the relationship and love I never got from her, I start thinking about something you said.</p>
<p>I got a second chance to have that mother/daughter relationship I never had with my mom. Every day I tell my daughter, "I am so happy you are my daughter." She surprises me every time when she says, "I am so glad you are my mom." So, I chose not to be like my mom and I do have a wonderful, self confident, intelligent daughter who makes me laugh and likes to do things with me.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for repeating the message that we get a second chance in life with our daughters to have a mother/daughter relationship.</p>
<p>Jeanette</p>
Staff
2019-02-27T18:58:00Z
The Lengths Some People Will Go to Sabotage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Lengths-Some-People-Will-Go-to-Sabotage/263469668945324812.html
2019-02-26T18:58:00Z
2019-02-26T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>A few years ago, I had to constantly deal with a bad apple in the workplace. This was before I earned the responsibility of manager/supervisor, only acting as a mere "lead admin" (which may have saved my job in the end, but I'll get to that).</p>
<p>While still acting as lead admin, this employee had at one point brought to my attention something that made her feel uncomfortable. The person for whom she assisted asked her to get a phone number out of his desk drawer for the purpose of emailing it to him since he was away from the office. While rummaging through that drawer she came upon some lady photos she didn't much appreciate. She wanted me to know about it and be aware she felt "uncomfortable," but told me several times she wanted nobody else to know about this, despite my offers and efforts to open an investigation and help. I was only 23 and not yet aware of the laws regarding these situations. In her previous management experience, she was.</p>
<p>Flash forward about 6 months and I'm now her manager. For months this employee was always taking off of work without much notice, coming in late, leaving early, carrying a poor attitude and making it more than clear she didn't want to have to answer to anybody except for herself. The particular ballpoint pens I ordered for her even became a sore spot - I could do nothing right. Most of the time I exhibited understanding with her complaints and I empathized with her, given that she described a terrible home environment with her husband. I gave her quite enough leeway for that reason. But after one too many instances of "I'm heading out of town for a week, I just need to get away," my boss and I decided that with personal problems or not, it was finally time for us to let her go and seek a replacement.</p>
<p>On day 5 of her absence while papers were drawn up and the final check was ready to go (and she was fully aware of what this had come to), this employee made a phone call to our corporate office human resources. She explained, "A few months ago something happened that made me feel really uncomfortable. I went to _______ for help because I felt sexually harassed, and she did nothing for me."</p>
<p>Needless to say, her employment was reinstated and she continued to work for me for far too long afterward. The part where my title saved me in the end? I wasn't a "manager" yet when she first came to me, and I therefore was unaware of my duties and responsibility to report EVERYTHING... no matter what.</p>
<p>This saga is long gone and over, but taught me so much about the lengths people will go to protect their livelihood and the sabotaging ways people will fight to win.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for everything you do, you've changed my life for many years now!</p>
<p>Kristen</p>
Staff
2019-02-26T18:58:00Z
Women Have the Power
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Women-Have-the-Power/-587909961645231703.html
2019-02-25T18:58:00Z
2019-02-25T18:58:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura:<br /> <br />Men can't be men today because they don't have the power, women have the power.</p>
<p>Men live by the golden rule "<em>If she is happy, we are happy</em>". It is no longer what's in the best interest of the man; it's what is in the best interest of the woman. A man's job is to make his wife happy, not the other way around. Why? Quite simple. All one has to do is look at the divorce courts. Get out of line; don't make spouse happy, and she files for a divorce. Man loses children, house, half of his income, and pays for spouse's attorney. He loses his life - game over. <br /><br />So the wife, once the children are born, has all the power based on our messed up and irresponsible divorce court system. Men must make their wives happy, or else there will be major consequences for the man, especially if the woman stays home with the children. So men can't be men because they end up with no life - they put up with a lot of crap to just stay out of trouble.<br /> <br />Barry</p>
Staff
2019-02-25T18:58:00Z
Great-Grandma Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Great-Grandma-Love/-676487877247668075.html
2019-02-22T18:58:00Z
2019-02-22T18:58:00Z
<p><br />If I could do anything today it would be to have my mother back for just one day. Mother has dementia and her behavior is very erratic now -- she doesn't always recognize people. Her physical capabilities are pretty much gone and just hugging can cause pain even though she never refuses one.<br /><br />I would love to have her back to share my wonderful grandchildren with her. And have them experience the same love and affection that I did. I would like to see her read to them a wonderful story, or bake cookies with them and spoil them in a way that only Great-Grandma can! To give them special Great-Grandma memories that would last throughout their lifetime. To let them know her and her to know them. Just 24 hours of Great-Grandma love!</p>
<p>Mary</p>
Staff
2019-02-22T18:58:00Z
Being Blessed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-Blessed/-102508703337494817.html
2019-02-21T18:58:00Z
2019-02-21T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>We are richly blessed by two amazing daughters, one 7 1/2, the second almost 4 1/2. Both pregnancies were prayed for and planned, and while both happened within a reasonable time once we were '<em>trying</em>', the first was truly a fast answer to prayer.</p>
<p>We rarely had (have) time to be intimate, and we're both on different clocks...I'm keen in the morning, and my dearly beloved is interested late at night, so we usually don't find that our '<em>stars align</em>' in the bedroom. In April of 2004, they did, however, on a Sunday afternoon after the Vancouver Sun Run.</p>
<p>I found out I was pregnant when, at the end of April, I had the privilege of being principal hornist for our high school's spring musical (I was an English and Band teacher on staff) and I actually fell asleep in the orchestra pit during the Sunday matinee performance. I had been finding it extremely difficult to stay awake at school but had attributed that to my workload. When we went for dinner between the matinee and night-time show, the drama teacher joked that I must be pregnant if I could fall asleep in the '<em>pit</em>'. That night, after the show, I took a pregnancy test and, sure enough, our first blessing was on her way.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>An avid reader, Brenda</p>
Staff
2019-02-21T18:58:00Z
Taking Advice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-Advice/862737345308532382.html
2019-02-20T18:58:00Z
2019-02-20T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I've listened to you every day, for years, sometimes twice a day in case I missed something. I am made fun of by my friends and family. It is a running joke when someone has a challenge, they look to me and say "<em>Ask Dr. L.</em>"! I am teary-eyed as I write this as I don't think I ever realized how much you have inspired me.</p>
<p>I think of you daily when I feel challenged in my marriage or with the rearing of my children. I am easily overwhelmed and suffer from Crohn's Disease so listening to you has forced me to stop and think before I react.</p>
<p>But most importantly, up until about 5 years ago (I am now 49), I was what you would consider a "<em>weak</em>" person. As a pleaser, I would allow friends and family to intimidate me, take advantage of my lack of being able to say NO when I really wanted to and earn the reputation of the one to go to when needing a good listener. I seemed to be very good at giving advice but not very good at taking my own advice. I was also nicknamed "<em>the enabler</em>". You have given me the strength and courage to stand up for myself, defend myself and take my own advice. I no longer run from confrontation or allow myself to be taken advantage of. I feel so much more confident and strong and only wish I didn't wait so long to take YOUR advice.</p>
<p>I have read your books and give them as gifts, and every single day, when I watch my children leave the house or speak to my son in college on the phone, I tell them I love them and say "<em>NOW...GO DO THE RIGHT THING!</em>" And they have!!</p>
<p>L.</p>
Staff
2019-02-20T18:58:00Z
Benefits of Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Benefits-of-Marriage/760131920247950932.html
2019-02-19T18:58:00Z
2019-02-19T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I am 27 and live in Los Angeles. Many of the people who I encounter that are my age say they don't believe in marriage, or they are indifferent about marriage. My husband's friends from college are all in their 30s and shacking up, some for 7+ years.</p>
<p>Upon getting married we immediately got backlash from some of those feminestas acquaintances with lines such as "I would NEVER share a bank account with a MAN" or "<em>In my opinion you guys moved way too fast"</em> (we dated for 1.5 years) or <em>"I don't see the difference between what you have and what I and my boyfriend (ahem shack-up honey) have.</em>"</p>
<p>I can tell by their defensiveness and hostility that of course, they see the difference. My husband adores me. He gave me a diamond ring and promised to take care of me forever before he knew if I was good in bed. We said "<em>I do,</em>" and then had sex. (What a concept, right?) He put me through graduate school and supported me 100%, even knowing when we have children, I will stay home and raise our kids.</p>
<p>Unlike these shack-ups, if anything were to happen to my boyfriend/husband, I am protected by having the legal status as his wife. There is no stability in shack-up situations, no rules and women are treated with a complete lack of respect (though I can't really blame the men since the women aren't demanding respect).</p>
<p>Marriage has changed my life for the better because I married a REAL MAN who tells me daily, "<em>I will do anything to make you happy.</em>" I live my life striving to do the same for him.</p>
<p>I truly pity the people my age who see no value in this. Deep down I think they know what they're missing, but by admitting it, they would have to reject everything they've ever learned from public school, their parents, TV shows, and society today. I hope they'll wake up soon and start rejecting society's warped view of marriage, lest I fear my generation's future.</p>
<p>Natalie</p>
Staff
2019-02-19T18:58:00Z
I Am The One My Son Leans On
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Am-The-One-My-Son-Leans-On/368308536443872706.html
2019-02-15T18:58:00Z
2019-02-15T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Today I met my son at the bus stop like I always do, and walked home with him. We chatted a bit about his day, but when we walked in the house he ran off to fly his remote control helicopter. I played with my daughter in the living room for about an hour before I started dinner.</p>
<p>Then my son came in and asked for a snack. I offered him a cutie and a few leftover slices of homemade French toast sticks and told him that's all he could have since dinner would be ready in 30 minutes. Hearing this sent him into an utter melt-down. My six-year-old, who is generally well-behaved, had completely quit the earth. I had to drag him to his room and told him he could come out when he stopped crying. I got some water boiling then I peeled him another cutie and went into his room. I handed him his snack and asked him if his day had been rough. He stopped his tantrum and with tears of sadness in his eyes he told me it had been a bad day, no one had played with him at recess and his best friend just wanted to play with some girl. My heart broke for him. His meltdown wasn't about a snack, it was the avenue for the bottled up hurt he felt over being shunned by his classmates that day. I hugged him and cried with him and then we talked about what he could do the next day to get some of his buddies to play with him. I also told him I would eat lunch with him at the school the next day. (In my day that would've been social suicide but at his school it's very cool because they get to eat at a special table with their mom and invite 2 friends to come with them.) After that, I called three of the boys in his class (I know all the good ones to call because I volunteer in his classroom), and invited them over for a homemade pizza party the following night.</p>
<p>I kept thinking of my friends with "<em>nannies</em>". I wondered if those nannies would've been intuitive enough to understand there was more going on in the life of that special 6-year-old than just disappointment over the size of his snack. My answer was no. I wondered if they would sit with him, hold him, cry with him and tell him they understood. My answer was no. I wondered if they would have immediately made plans the next day to have some buddies over for a pizza party. My answer was no. I wondered if they would go eat lunch at the school with him. My answer was no.</p>
<p>I am SO GRATEFUL to be my kids' mom. I am grateful to be the one to dry their tears. As sick as it sometimes makes me to see them hurt, I am glad I get to see it, support them through it and fix it anyway I can. I'm so lucky. I wouldn't let anyone else near my job. EVER. No one can do it better than me and nobody cares more than I do. What a great feeling it is to be so satisfied with my job and so fulfilled at the end of the day. Wow, I am truly blessed.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Emily</p>
Staff
2019-02-15T18:58:00Z
It's the Little Romantic Things
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-the-Little-Romantic-Things/-700213891733302886.html
2019-02-14T18:58:00Z
2019-02-14T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I just went to Lowe's to get some new plants for our little garden, plus some special things for tonight to make MY incredible husband of 13 plus years his favorite meal for Valentine's Day.</p>
<p>When he woke up this morning, he saw I had put Valentine decorations on his bathroom mirrors, to begin his day. We exchanged beautiful cards together at 5 am! When I packed his lunch...I had wrapped his sandwiches in Valentines paper, with a heart I had cut out and colored (NOT an artist for sure!!!), and a little box of mints that said "<em>Crazy 4 You</em>" on top.</p>
<p>When I just returned from shopping...I was greeted by a big box on my front doorstep marked Shari's Berries!! Inside are the MOST incredible chocolate dipped berries from my sweetie. The box is already lighter by 3!!! I called him out on the job site where he works to tell him how very much I love him and APPRECIATE him.</p>
<p>I put love notes in his lunch routinely telling him how loved and appreciated he is. No, it's not about the gorgeous flowers he brought home last night....or the berries today....it's the shark-infested waters he swims through EVERY DAY for me and our marriage. Tell your listeners that if they WANT a great marriage...and want to KEEP a great marriage....do the little romantic things that sometimes get lost after several years of just getting "<em>comfortable</em>" with each other. Little things make a spark that will keep things ignited for a lifetime. I've learned SO MUCH from listening to you...and with that, I say thank you. I know you will have a wonderful Valentine's Day as well.</p>
<p>Chris, a very faithful listener</p>
Staff
2019-02-14T18:58:00Z
Push Ups
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Push-Ups/-769710760549065064.html
2019-02-13T18:58:00Z
2019-02-13T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I love your advice and have followed you for about 15 years. I have now been VERY happily married for 12 years and I know that is partly because of listening to you and taking the advice you provide every day. I am an attorney, my husband is an MBA Engineer from USC. <br /><br />Anyway, I want you to know I love the information you provide regarding fitness. It is hard with two dogs, two kids and a part-time career (the part-time aspect is also partly due to your influence) to keep fit when I would rather spend my free time with my kids. I LOVE the push-up suggestions. I am fit and just did 10, no problem. I will do another 10 before I go to bed. But I now know I have to do more to beat your little 70 year plus butt!! <br /><br />Keep going Dr. Laura. I have Sirius so I can listen to you!!</p>
<p><br />Denise</p>
Staff
2019-02-13T18:58:00Z
He Did the Dishes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Did-the-Dishes/645604659673505900.html
2019-02-12T18:58:00Z
2019-02-12T18:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>In one of your books (<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>), there was a wife who wrote about how she told her husband he looked sexy washing the dishes, so he decided to do it more often! <br /><br />I am a SAHM and I totally do not expect my hard-working husband to do the dishes, as that is one of my many tasks I perform at home. But, I was surprised the other night (the day after we made AWESOME LOVE), when he did the dishes I had soaking in the sink while I was busy with bedtime routines for our two children. <br /><br />It was unexpected, but greatly appreciated of course! Did this happen because of "<em>properly caring</em>" for my husband? If so, I really have to keep up the proper caring!<br /><br />Thanks again,</p>
<p>Jennifer</p>
Staff
2019-02-12T18:58:00Z
Reasons Some Marriages Last Forever
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Reasons-Some-Marriages-Last-Forever/281020654424090862.html
2019-02-11T18:58:00Z
2019-02-11T18:58:00Z
<p><br />My husband's grandparents were married over 60 years. Being a newlywed, I asked Grandma what the secret to her happy marriage was. She said the secret is both people knowing that it can't always be YOUR way. What an eye-opener for me. Such simple advice that covers a whole lot of stuff. This cherished advice has served us well...My husband and I just celebrated our 24th anniversary and we are more in love today than the day we married.</p>
<p>Also, we work at our marriage every day. My husband's a police officer and I never let him go to work without a kiss and an "<em>I love you</em>". I don't hassle him about "<em>home stuff</em>" when he's at work so he can focus on his job. When we fight, it's a fair fight with no name calling or bringing up past issues, and it's with the intention of coming to an understanding, not to win. We speak kindly and lovingly to each other even when we don't feel kind and loving.</p>
<p>My husband lives by his motto, "<em>Loyalty above all else except integrity</em>" and he lives it in our marriage every day. We trust each other completely. We are both from broken homes and agreed to not do that to our children or ourselves! We do thoughtful things for each other every day, even if it's just him helping me get a glass down from the highest shelf in the kitchen or opening a jar. Seems small, I know, but every little kind action counts in this house.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, for all you do...if more women took your advice about how to take care of their husband, there'd be a lot more happy wives out there!<br /> <br />Terri</p>
Staff
2019-02-11T18:58:00Z
Raising Children as an Only Parent
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-Children-as-an-Only-Parent/285730457722683023.html
2019-02-08T18:58:00Z
2019-02-08T18:58:00Z
<p><br />As talked about frequently, raising children as an only parent leaves a lot to be desired. Take it from me, a mom of 4. I have been divorced since my youngest was a year old (14 years). It has not been easy. However, I made a decision that in the best interest of my children, I would not date or remarry.</p>
<p>I have had to work most of their lives and continue to do so. It is not easy and definitely do not recommend it as a first choice. However, I have devoted all the time when I am not directly working to raising my children to be responsible, moral productive citizens. There were many late long nights of tears and wondering if I was doing a good job as a parent.</p>
<p>My eldest was killed in a car accident one month before entering into the Air Force Academy. I have twin daughters, one of which is in college and soon will graduate. She has had the same boyfriend since her first year of college. They will not live together and will not consider marriage until they have completed graduate school. The other twin has maintained a long term relationship with her lesbian girlfriend and would marry if it were recognized here. My youngest is 15 and excels in an International Baccalaureate Program. None of them have done drugs or drink irresponsibly.</p>
<p>I truly believe that circumstances could have been much worse if I had not devoted my life to parenting and providing for them. I am not writing this to advocate divorce or parenting alone. I would not wish that on any child. But we can learn from mistakes and work hard to do the best we can for our children. They did not ask to be born into a home without two parents. Marrying and step parenting is not the best option. There is not enough time to devote to a new husband, step-parenting and the marriage. It leaves no time to be a parent. I believe this is more harmful than being an only parent. Given the circumstances, we can still do the "<em>right thing</em>".</p>
<p>Thank you</p>
<p>Dawn</p>
Staff
2019-02-08T18:58:00Z
Lucky to Have a Wife Like You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lucky-to-Have-a-Wife-Like-You/-287811188677739203.html
2019-02-07T18:59:00Z
2019-02-07T18:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My husband is in the military and is only allowed to write me letters and call maybe once every two weeks. Even though I am so proud of him and his service I started feeling a little disconnected, lonely, and resentful, but then I read your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>". <br /><br />I got to go see my husband for a weekend and I became his girlfriend with way more benefits. I just received a letter from him (the first one I've gotten since our weekend together) and it said: <br /><br />
<blockquote><em>"I had such a good time this past weekend. I love you. I still can't believe how I got so lucky in this world to have a wife like you. You are the sexiest woman in the whole world. THE WAY YOU LOVE, MAKES ME WORK HARDER TO BE A BETTER MAN TO YOU."<br /></em></blockquote>
<br />Sounds like something right out of your book! So instead of resenting him for his job and being away, I started treating him like the REAL MAN he is...he is my provider and, not only my protector but part of this Country's. <br /><br />Thank you for all you do. <br /><br />C.
Staff
2019-02-07T18:59:00Z
Defining Goodness in My Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Defining-Goodness-in-My-Life/-430482471864361361.html
2019-02-06T18:58:00Z
2019-02-06T18:58:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I have an 8-year-old cousin who I will call E. E was born to a drug-addicted son of a drug addict and his girlfriend who was a drug-addicted daughter of a drug addict. While he was an infant, his parents both went to prison and he was left in the care of his maternal grandmother whose boyfriend was a convicted (conviction then overturned) sex offender.<br /><br />When he was around 2, he went to live with my grandmother. My grandmother is an amazing woman who was married with three kids under four by the time she was twenty. I have never met a stronger woman. When he went to live with her, he would sit in his high-chair and eat, and not even a crumb would hit the floor. He ate every last bit of food put in front of him. One night when he woke up in the middle of the night, my grandmother went to his crib to pick him up and he was cowering in the corner.<br /><br />I am sure it will not surprise you to hear that E has some serious problems. He is emotionally disturbed and has some minor attachment disorder. When his behavior became too much for his regular public school to handle, he was placed in a school for emotionally disturbed children and has thrived in the very structured environment that they provide.<br /><br />The amazing thing about E, is that he is one of the sweetest children I have ever met. When he is near babies, he protects them, loves them, holds them, and plays with them. He is so sweet and gentle. It's beautiful to watch. He selflessly shares with them and with everyone around him. At his school he earns points for behavior that he can then trade in at a school store. For Christmas, he traded in all of his points for stuffed animals for two of his cousins, 3 and 5-year-old girls. He is starting to hug voluntarily, to cuddle and sing and take care of his things. He is so good with animals and he is so giving. I can only imagine how he would have turned out, in different early circumstances, but he is a wonderful child and is going to be an amazing man some day.<br /><br />I cannot decide which defines goodness more, this child who is so sweet and caring, in-spite of such a terrible start; my grandmother who has loved this child into who he is today; or the power of the love that our family has created around him. He won't be defined by the evil that influenced his first two years. He has a chance at a good life, and whether it's because of his innate character, the love around him, or a miracle granted by God, E. is the one entity which defines goodness in my life.<br /><br />Thank you for all you do,<br /><br />Kristy
Staff
2019-02-06T18:58:00Z
A Teacher Who Made a Difference
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Teacher-Who-Made-a-Difference/157752475195460291.html
2019-02-05T18:58:00Z
2019-02-05T18:58:00Z
<br /><br />Mrs. Schneider, gave a scared 3rd grader at a new school (me) a tiny bit of confidence and a new best friend. When I arrived at the new school I was put in a classroom with a mean teacher. The first thing she did was give us an assignment to write something. I didn't quite understand her instructions and had a "brain block". Then she gave us math problems that I had never seen before. She didn't explain how to do them, just stuck them in front of us. I was terrified I would do something wrong and she would yell (she yelled a lot).<br /><br />I guess the classrooms were overcrowded. A couple days later some of our names were called and we were sent to a new class with an angel teacher; Mrs. Schneider. Mrs. Schneider was a thin, grey-haired woman with a kind face and a gravely voice. She was kind and firm and I grew to love her. If the class was a bit unruly she would point at us and say, "I'm going to lower the boom on you". We marveled at the way that thin, wrinkly skin of what I now know as a 'flying triceps' would flap back and forth as she waved her pointed finger.<br /><br />Within that first week, Mrs. Schneider recognized I needed something more than the 3 R's. She pulled me aside one morning while everyone was working on an assignment. I thought I had done something wrong. She said,"Denise, I wonder if you would help me." My mind went crazy, what could I ever do to help this very capable woman? She said, "My granddaughter is going to come and be part of this class. She won't know anyone here. Would you be her special friend?" "Of course!" was my answer. Cheryl came the next day to school and Mrs. Schneider put her desk next to mine. I felt so important (something I had never felt before). I showed Cheryl everything at school. Now I had a friend in this new school.<br /><br />When we got older and went on to junior high, Mrs. Schneider moved to that school and taught English and speech. I had the privilege of being in her classroom again. She will remain in my heart forever as my favorite teacher and I love her.<br /><br />Denise<br />
Staff
2019-02-05T18:58:00Z
Acting Like You're in Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Acting-Like-Youre-in-Love/144239949910308472.html
2019-02-04T18:58:00Z
2019-02-04T18:58:00Z
Dr. Laura,<br /><br />Just like smiling can put one in better mood, I strongly feel that acting in love can keep you in love! Our kids used to roll their eyes because when I would walk behind my husband sitting in his chair, I would drop a kiss on his head or a caress on his neck. I still do that, by the way, but the only ones watching today are the dogs, as the kids are adults and out of the home. (Our dogs do not roll their eyes, by the way!)<br /><br />This is a second marriage for both of us. Both of us were married to people for whom touch no longer seemed important. If I were too close to my first husband in bed, he would move away and I would apologize. If I patted his bottom too often, I was treating him like a sex object. A bad thing to a man?!! Yikes! I know he loved me very much, but I needed touch, tenderness and intimacy. For my now husband, it was the same thing, as his first wife didn't even like to be hugged.<br /><br />We're older now, I'm 54 and my husband is 66. I get all the bear hugs I need and lots of spooning as we fall asleep. We make a point of touching each other as often as possible. I can be mad at my husband and see the soft skin behind his ear and feel tenderness rush through me. A soft touch and we're both in a better mood.<br /><br />People-- fake it 'til you make it!<br /><br />Jennifer
Staff
2019-02-04T18:58:00Z
Why Men Don't Court Women Like They Used To
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Men-Dont-Court-Women-Like-They-Used-To/2182433289555649.html
2019-02-01T18:58:00Z
2019-02-01T18:58:00Z
Men do not court women the way they used to thanks to the feminist movement! Suddenly, women were supposedly insulted if a man tried to open the door for them, pay the dinner check, and help them with their coat! Women somehow felt threatened and confused this behavior as not being "<em>equal</em>" to a man.<br /><br />Poor men, these days don't know if they're coming or going! These are some of the wonderful things in life that we should treasure as being women...to be courted, respected, and protected by our men! It does not mean they see us as beneath them or less-important. It means that they see us as being on a pedestal of sorts and want to prove their worthiness to us! Young women these days should learn to appreciate this and use this behavior as a compass in determining what kind of man they really want to spend their time with.<br /><br />Jill
Staff
2019-02-01T18:58:00Z
A Child's Imagination at Play
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Childs-Imagination-at-Play/-154263870395323315.html
2019-01-31T18:58:00Z
2019-01-31T18:58:00Z
<br /><br />As the youngest of seven children, the rest of who seemed to come in pairs and have "<em>older</em>" interests, I spent hours playing by myself while they were in school. I used to search for twigs shaped like a "<em>Y</em>", set two of these up a couple of inches apart, place a straight twig across them supported by the two Ys, and then proceed to lay more twigs diagonally against that one, pushing them into the ground a bit to create a small shelter for a tiny imaginary child. I would pat a bit of mud on it for good measure, or a leaf. Then build a second one, and a third, to have a whole little colony of lean-tos. A variation was to use 4 Y sticks and two parallel straight twigs to build a flat roof.<br /><br />I saved matchboxes and glued them together to build a miniature desk or dresser, gluing a bit of cardboard on each drawer to pull it out with.<br /><br />Then I would fill the drawers with tiny books I made using paper and a staple, an itsy-bitsy piece of eraser, and one of those tiny pencils that TIME Magazine used to send out as advertising. Or anything I could find or manufacture that was tiny.<br /><br />Soon I graduated to a 4-poster canopy bed made from a cigar box, cutting off the lid to place it atop the four posts and covering it all with fabric remnants. Bits of aluminum foil were transformed into goblets and plates; a coffee-can lid and a spool into a table, iris leaves into woven mats, slender green branches into bows and pampas grass stalks into arrows (sharpened with a pencil sharpener).<br /><br />I guess it helped that my mom didn't throw away all the useless odds and ends that accumulate in a house with seven kids.<br /><br />Games with my brothers and sisters were even more fun, and we invented many. No technology, just whatever we found or imagined. God and our parents blessed us with a big house and an even bigger yard, and all the neighborhood kids were usually in it. Those games are the ones we remember even more than the dollhouses, cowboy hats and board games we got for Christmas and birthdays.<br /><br />Thanks to God, and thanks to Dad and Mom!<br /><br />Love ya!<br /><br />Corky<br />
Staff
2019-01-31T18:58:00Z
Importance of Expressing Respect and Admiration
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Importance-of-Expressing-Respect-and-Admiration/43416602979440040.html
2019-01-30T18:58:00Z
2019-01-30T18:58:00Z
Hi Dr. Laura!<br /><br />Here's some adult humor with a point I thought you'd get a kick out of. Today, I was thinking that I am a consistently happy wife. I'm always on Cloud 9 and it seems like I hardly ever come down. <br /><br />My husband means the world to me, and I had an overwhelming urge to send him a text telling him how I feel. I usually send naughty little messages, but this time I felt I needed to send something a bit more heartfelt, so I texted him that I love him more than anything; that I respect and admire the hell out of him, and that he's wonderful. I did not expect the reply I got back from him... He said, "<em>Oh stop. You're giving me a chubby!</em>" I laughed, he sure has a way with words... but it certainly drives the point home of how much it means to our men when we women clearly state these things!<br /><br />Thanks for all you do!<br /><br />Julie
Staff
2019-01-30T18:58:00Z
Hard Work Makes the Success Special
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hard-Work-Makes-the-Success-Special/-567464703324506564.html
2019-01-29T18:58:00Z
2019-01-29T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I just heard a caller talk about not able to control their eating habits... Currently, I am on a journey to lose 190 lbs after 23 years of nothing more than terrible choices! On November 22, 2009, at the age of 23, I decided it was time for me to get in shape, to stop eating myself into oblivion, and get healthy! To date, I have lost 130 lbs, competed in numerous running events (warrior dash, neon splash dash, color,) play for a local soccer team, eat completely different, and plan on continuing to lose until I am healthy and happy.</p>
<p>The hardest part of this entire ordeal was deciding to "do the right thing!" They always say that weight loss and fitness is 30% exercise and 70% diet but it is also 100% mental! Losing weight and making life changes are hard and the hard work it takes is something that makes the success special! I am a true believer that the easy way usually is the wrong way!</p>
<p>I have been listening to you since I was a very young guy! Thank you, Dr. Laura, for always helping keep my mental game strong, and encouraging me to do the right thing!</p>
<p>James</p>
Staff
2019-01-29T18:58:00Z
My Proud Mama Moment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Proud-Mama-Moment/295253994008748084.html
2019-01-28T18:58:00Z
2019-01-28T18:58:00Z
<br />Recently a family friend who has made some really bad choices in her life found herself abandoned by one of her worst ever choices: her married boyfriend and father of her two kids. <br /><br />My 10-year-old daughter and I went to help her gather her things and bring them to a safe haven. As we're driving my daughter asked questions about what was going on and why this man is leaving. Suddenly she said, "<em>Oh, is this what Dr. Laura means by you need to find a man, not a boy?</em>" Such a clarifying moment! <br /><br />Thank you for speaking out and telling it like it is no matter what people do or say about you! I've listened to you on and off since the early '90s and I must say I absolutely love you more than ever since you've left broadcast radio and have gone to SiriusXM.<br /><br />Jacqueline<br />
Staff
2019-01-28T18:58:00Z
I Owe My Happiness, In Part, to My Father-In-Law
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Owe-My-Happiness,-In-Part,-to-My-Father-In-Law/891228411537969225.html
2019-01-25T18:58:00Z
2019-01-25T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>The first time my husband came to my apartment while we were dating, I noticed he'd put the seat down after using the bathroom. Chivalry at its finest! I knew I'd marry him then because, as we all know, it's the little things that count.</p>
<p>For Father's Day last year, I sent my father-in-law a thank-you card for the role he played in making my husband the man he is today. He's a team player, always helping around the house without having to be asked. He does laundry, dishes, brings me coffee in the morning, helps with cooking, takes out the trash, and that's not all. He opens doors for me, always keeps himself between me and traffic when escorting me, and drops me off at the door or runs to get the car in the parking lot if it's raining.</p>
<p>And every time he knows he's doing something good, he smiles playfully at me and says, "I know how this goes. That's what my dad always does for my mom."</p>
<p>Megan</p>
Staff
2019-01-25T18:58:00Z
Shopping With Toddlers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Shopping-With-Toddlers/-689518059399778817.html
2019-01-24T18:58:00Z
2019-01-24T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just got home from shopping and I ripped a mom apart. I came upon her little girl playing in the aisle with fairy garden accessories, totally alone. She was talking to me about fairies. I must have talked to her at least 5 minutes and still no mom. The girl finally wanted to show mommy something and got up to run and find her. <br /><br />Her mom was at least half a store away in some other aisle with a cart and another child. I said, "You left your toddler down in that aisle for a long time alone!" She replied, "thank you." I looked at her and said, "You are a bad parent!" She thanked me again and walked away. I could have taken that little girl and been gone.<br /><br />I am so shocked today that someone would use a department store as a playground while they shop. I am still so mad I can feel my blood pressure rising but I know I would have never said anything so direct unless I had been a long time or short listener. Keep up the good work! <br /><br />Thanks,<br /><br />Diane<br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2019-01-24T18:58:00Z
Fun Times with My Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fun-Times-with-My-Mother/126252458354928033.html
2019-01-23T18:58:00Z
2019-01-23T18:58:00Z
<p><br />We as a family had a very stressful life when I was growing up. We were poor to the point of going long stints without electricity and water in our house. This financial stress made my dad mean and distant. My mother did everything she could to shield us from the reality of being poor. She made everything an adventure. We camped in the house or in tents when we couldn't afford a house.</p>
<p>My mother always had time for each of us to talk and to vent and to just be with her one on one. Our times together were always the same ritual and my favorite memories of my childhood. We would walk to the drugstore about 15 minutes away and get a small ice cream cup (the kind that came with the mini wooden spoon) and share it on the walk back. We talked about everything a girl needed to talk to her mom about and we laughed and joked. It wasn't expensive or time-consuming, but it was so special to us both.</p>
<p>She had something like that she did with each of my brothers as well. It was those simple moments with Mom that made our childhood so special and really cemented our bonds with her. Young mothers today could really take a lesson from my mom's playbook. It's not how much money or time is spent, it is the quality of time with a woman who worked 3 jobs to keep us fed and still had time to be involved in our lives and make us each feel special.</p>
<p>Angela</p>
Staff
2019-01-23T18:58:00Z
Saving My Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Saving-My-Marriage/769555962828796497.html
2019-01-22T18:57:00Z
2019-01-22T18:57:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>It has been a pleasure listening to you on SiriusXM for nearly 3 years. I have learned so much. You are my surrogate mother and without you, I don't believe I'd be married today.</p>
<p>Like so many of the women my age (I'm 42) I was raised by a feminist mother who basically crushed my father's spirit and ran around like a chicken with her head cut off because she was stretched so thin.</p>
<p>I can't believe that today, just over 50 years and 1 month later, my parents are still together. Through the good, the bad, and the very ugly, they still love each other. Oddly enough, I didn't think they'd make it. When I was 15 years old, my father "retired." At least that's what Mom called it. Then the fighting ensued. My brother married that year and I was all alone.</p>
<p>I didn't find out until I was 33-years-old that my father didn't "retire"; rather he was fired -- fired from a long string of car dealership service management positions. He apparently had a terrible temper not just at home. I couldn't believe I didn't find this out. But, I guess at 15, you aren't really concerned with your parents' issues, other than those that affect you - such as constant arguing - hence, I found other places to be, other things to do, and not good things, either.</p>
<p>Today, I have a wonderful husband of nearly 16 years and two great, bright, beautiful, and happy kids. We live in a nice small town and have 5 acres of land. Eleven years ago, when we moved here, I was miserable as we were 2 hours from my hometown. </p>
<p>My husband and I sacrificed, working opposite shifts, so we could be home with our children. This strained our marriage tremendously, even with my part-time (24 hour/week) job. Thanks to your tremendous advice, I now look at things so differently than I did before. I know what is important, what my priorities should be, what matters, who doesn't, and most importantly, I finally know how to treat the love of my life.</p>
<p>You are a tremendous blessing. Were it not for you, this small family in rural Wisconsin would cease to exist. I hope more women find you and follow your wisdom, or rather, heed the warnings of those you speak to and help. I've learned so much and thank them as well for sharing their sorrows and losses.</p>
<p>All my respect,</p>
<p>Jacki</p>
Staff
2019-01-22T18:57:00Z
Whatever Comes, I CAN Face It
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Whatever-Comes,-I-CAN-Face-It/-657113134355450583.html
2019-01-21T18:58:00Z
2019-01-21T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Many days start and end with me wishing, thinking and hoping that the pressures, stresses, demands and worries, fatigue and strains will just GO AWAY!<br /><br />Then, I sleep. I get up again, knowing that whatever comes I CAN AND WILL just face it and go on. That's what you do and LIFE sometimes just sucks for me, for everyone. I acknowledge that every single person I know has trials. Many, if not most, are far worse than mine. <br /><br />So, I just suck it up and thank God for the many many blessings in my life. I know that today might FEEL hard but it will get better. So I face another day, another week and just try and go with the flow.<br /><br />Jenn<br /><br /><br /></p>
<br />How do you find the inner courage to get through the tough days? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
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Staff
2019-01-21T18:58:00Z
Shacking-up With Boyfriends
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Shacking-up-With-Boyfriends/205971322321367476.html
2019-01-18T18:58:00Z
2019-01-18T18:58:00Z
<p><br />As I cooked everybody lunch, I heard a call with a woman who wanted to shack-up to test the waters with her boyfriend before marriage.</p>
<p>My marriage of 11 years ended violently in November 2011. He left me with a traumatic brain injury and strangle marks on my neck. I'm now a single mom of 3 sons. I had always been a housewife/full-time mom, so I was stressed about getting a job. Luckily my aunt called me and said she needed someone to take care of my grandma with dementia, so we moved her in here with me. It's a true blessing. My house is no longer hostile.</p>
<p>My friends and my own dad advised me against this move fearing I would not have a social life. I told them my boys need a mother to focus on them, not a mother who goes out and gathers boyfriends and new husbands. (Plus I'm not a good picker. I knew darned well my ex was violent and I tried to leave several times but would come back. It's true when they say the beatings only get worse.)</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, for reinforcing and making me feel proud of my decision to not date and to focus on my boys, Grandma, and my relationship with God.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>C.</p>
Staff
2019-01-18T18:58:00Z
Respect, Love and Commit
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Respect,-Love-and-Commit/792024779549815193.html
2019-01-17T18:58:00Z
2019-01-17T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I'm way behind on catching on to you. I live in a rural area, etc, so it's only through your books that I've been able to experience your advice.</p>
<p>I picked up the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands from the library recently. My husband saw it sitting on the table and asked about it. I wasn't done reading it yet, and promised I'd give him the rundown when I was finished. I'd heard controversy about it from an online forum, so I wanted to find out for myself what it was about.</p>
<p>What I found extremely interesting was that your book confirmed my stance on my marriage. Granted, I'm imperfect, but it's how I strive to manage things. Having a severe chronic pain disability as a result of a work injury certainly has a negative impact, but I'm working on it as best I can.</p>
<p>I mention the disability because before I was injured, my idea of marriage (and faith) was far different. I would have been among those decrying your book. God used my injury, and loss of use of my dominant hand and arm to grow my faith, and show me how my attitude was harming my marriage and therefore my children.</p>
<p>Reading your book confirmed and encouraged me in my point of view and determination to respect, love, and commit to my husband and marriage.</p>
<p>Thank you.</p>
<p>Regards,</p>
<p>Melissa</p>
Staff
2019-01-17T18:58:00Z
He Kept Calm and Cool
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Kept-Calm-and-Cool/-244658577077923000.html
2019-01-16T18:58:00Z
2019-01-16T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Your superhero question reminded me of something that happened while my husband and I were engaged. We were babysitting my ten-month-old nephew while his parents were out. My fiancé, who had never spent much time around young children, seemed a little uncomfortable around my nephew and didn't really know what to do with him. I was feeding the little boy oranges and my fiancé was sitting across the room when all of a sudden my nephew started to choke. I've taken multiple CPR classes, babysat for years, and have practiced the Heimlich on at least a half dozen baby dolls but faced with the real situation I froze. Panic set in and I had no idea what to do! Suddenly my fiancé was there, scooping the orange out of my nephew's mouth and then giving him a gentle pat on the back as his breathing returned to normal. He even put his arm around me to make sure I was okay.</p>
<p>Afterward, I kept looking at him and thinking, "<em>This man is going to be the father of my children</em>," and that thought brought me so much relief. I'm so grateful I made such a good choice! We've been married a couple of years now, he is still my hero, and I try to always follow your advice so that he knows it.</p>
<p>Bekky</p>
Staff
2019-01-16T18:58:00Z
Always Time to Exercise
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Always-Time-to-Exercise/606010483764090359.html
2019-01-15T18:58:00Z
2019-01-15T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>For me personally, exercise is easy to fit into my schedule because it's my job!! I'm a personal trainer, Zumba instructor, corporate trainer, etc. So I get paid to work out, so to speak. However, I am the one who hears all the excuses, "I don't have time to work out!" or "I'm too tired after work to go to the gym!" or "I have to help my kids with their homework, soccer, piano, fill in the blank." or (my very favorite!) "I don't like to sweat!!"</p>
<p>To which I say....BALONEY!!!!</p>
<p>I am a single mom, widowed, raising two children, am in the best shape I've ever been in, and I'm about to turn fifty. Am I this way because I am vain and trying to snag a man? Absolutely not!! I don't even date. I'm trying to stay in the best shape for my own health, for my business, but also so I can be around to raise my children and enjoy my grandchildren. If you want fitness badly enough, there is ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, a time to exercise. When I was a coach and taught school, I would wake up at 5am and run 6 miles before work. It helped me start my day with a smile and lots of energy.</p>
<p>I am heartbroken at the state of our country and the way so many people mistreat their bodies. What they don't realize is the more they gain, the more they are destroying their bodies. Food is their poison, their drug. Nobody wants to say that because it might offend them, but it's the truth.</p>
<p>I love and respect your position on fitness and healthy eating and thank you for speaking the truth!! You are a role model to me and I plan to be running up mountains in 15 years just like you!!</p>
<p>God bless you! You have filled an enormous gap in my life since my mama died this past year. Your straight talk, no-nonsense approach is how she raised me. I'm forever grateful that I found you!!</p>
<p>Your forever fan and almost daughter -</p>
<p>Kelli</p>
Staff
2019-01-15T18:58:00Z
My Husband's Note
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husbands-Note/-290552573148174181.html
2019-01-14T18:58:00Z
2019-01-14T18:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>The best wedding I ever attended was on our 17th anniversary in 1999. The wedding was for a colleague, and the couple had shacked up for several years before they decided to get married. It was obvious throughout the proceedings that these two knew nothing of what the marriage covenant means. So, I was anxious to hear what kind of vows they were going to make!</p>
<p>Right at the moment their vows began, my husband reached into his pocket and handed me a note:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">"Now for some vows of my own.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">I will never break our covenant.<br />I will never leave you.<br />I will always be faithful to you.<br />I will love no other as long as we both live.<br />I will keep trying to improve as a husband.<br />I will be open to your suggestions and corrections.<br />I will strive to make you feel loved.<br />I will do what I can to lighten your burdens.<br />I will try to be understanding.<br />I will see to it that you are well taken care of.<br />I can't promise to be perfect,<br />but I do promise to repent and keep trying when I fall short."</p>
<p>No one else in the crowd knew why tears were flowing down my cheeks!</p>
<p>I could tell you so much more about my wonderful husband of 30 years, so maybe I will sometime again!</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Happily Married Wife</p>
Staff
2019-01-14T18:58:00Z
Career vs. Time at Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Career-vs.-Time-at-Home/-89097845614327809.html
2019-01-11T18:58:00Z
2019-01-11T18:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I really didn't give it much thought but always knew I needed to be home and my family would always come first.</p>
<p>When I got back from Vietnam, I was married and just started in my career as an air conditioning and heating service technician. I was 20 years old at the time.</p>
<p>I married my high school sweetheart who was truly a gift from God. We met her first day of high school. She graduated on a Wednesday, we got married on Saturday and then I went back to Vietnam for the 5 months left on my tour.</p>
<p>We are still married and are working on year 42. We have two adult children and have been blessed with 6 wonderful grandchildren who we are very involved with.</p>
<p>When I was 25, I started my own business (MechanicalAirService.com) and my wife has been a homemaker. When I started my business, a good (older) friend of mine told me to not make the mistake he did by working too much and not being with his family. My family has always come first. I was home almost every night for dinner. We had date nights. We did things as a family. Whenever I traveled for business, my wife and kids came with me. We traveled all over the world with them. My wife and I traded off going to the kid's school functions so one of us at least during the day was with them.</p>
<p>Our kids are now working at taking over my business. It was never my plan and I never discussed business at home or complained about it. Our daughter became a school teacher and our son was in the auto body industry when they approached me about joining the business. Our son-in-law also works in the company. I have been sort of a control freak when it came to the business but I have had no problem staying in the background and letting them lead the company. I have only been at the office about 40 hrs in the last 3 years as I work from home.</p>
<p>I have always believed I can start another company but I only have one chance with my family. We are so happy to have been blessed with the 6 grandchildren, a 12-year-old and 5 granddaughters from 11 to 5 years old. They are each very different and are such a blessing. We have all 6 every other Saturday night so the parents can have a date night. We are also involved with their school stuff and they attend the same church we do.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the good work you do.</p>
<p>Russ</p>
Staff
2019-01-11T18:58:00Z
Full-circle Surgery?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Full-circle-Surgery/368910798515663931.html
2019-01-10T18:58:00Z
2019-01-10T18:58:00Z
<p><br />In only about one month, I have experienced a full-circle moment. I called about a month ago... I am Anna and you reminded me to not 'dis God' by staying overwhelmed. After our call, I first admitted I was drowning in the life I love, asked for help from my mom, husband and friends.</p>
<p>I was amazed at how little changes made a big impact. I learned that being a bit selfish is healthy. I learned to put myself at the top of my own list more. I CAN handle a lot, but SHOULD I? I am so glad I learned this lesson as very soon after our call, I had a major falling out with my best friend (her issues not mine), and I started having mysterious abdomen pains that kept getting worse.</p>
<p>Turns out my problem was partly physical, I had gallbladder removal surgery a few days ago. However, had I not fixed my head and emotions by starting to take time for myself, I would have never listened to my body and been assertive in getting the mysterious pain fixed.</p>
<p>I couldn't have predicted that surgery would be in my path. However, I thank you for getting my head straight so I could get my body straight. I'm fixed, for now, ready to take on life much healthier than when I began.</p>
<p>Much thanks,</p>
<p>Anna</p>
Staff
2019-01-10T18:58:00Z
Shacking-up With Boyfriends
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Shacking-up-With-Boyfriends/179266048766626606.html
2019-01-09T18:57:00Z
2019-01-09T18:57:00Z
<p><br />As I cooked everybody lunch, I heard a call with a woman who wanted to shack-up to test the waters with her boyfriend before marriage.</p>
<p>My marriage of 11 years ended violently in November 2011. He left me with a traumatic brain injury and strangle marks on my neck. I'm now a single mom of 3 sons. I had always been a housewife/full-time mom, so I was stressed about getting a job. Luckily my aunt called me and said she needed someone to take care of my grandma with dementia, so we moved her in here with me. It's a true blessing. My house is no longer hostile.</p>
<p>My friends and my own dad advised me against this move fearing I would not have a social life. I told them my boys need a mother to focus on them, not a mother who goes out and gathers boyfriends and new husbands. (Plus I'm not a good picker. I knew darned well my ex was violent and I tried to leave several times but would come back. It's true when they say the beatings only get worse.)</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for reinforcing and making me feel proud of my decision to not date and to focus on my boys, Grandma, and my relationship with God.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>C.</p>
Staff
2019-01-09T18:57:00Z
I Guess We Raised Her Right
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Guess-We-Raised-Her-Right/-89678863503665767.html
2019-01-08T18:58:00Z
2019-01-08T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I called you looking for affirmation that my husband and I had given our daughter the right advice. She had been asked by a friend's mother to throw a surprise birthday party for this friend, but then the mother said that my daughter shouldn't invite a certain few people in the church youth group that this girl didn't get along with. We advised our daughter to either invite everyone in the youth group at church or not throw the party. But we wondered if perhaps we were off base. You affirmed our counsel to our daughter, advising me to call the mother to let her know that everyone would be invited or no party.</p>
<p>Turns out, I didn't need to call her. My sweet daughter did it herself, and before I even had a chance to tell her that I would do it. I love that girl! She invited everyone; the ones who didn't get along with the birthday girl didn't come, and the party was a big success! My daughter had a number of fun activities planned, and the birthday girl was thrilled.</p>
<p>Thank you for the encouragement I've always gotten from you to be the wife and mother that my instincts have always told me that I need to be. As my kids would say...You ROCK!</p>
<p>Heidi</p>
Staff
2019-01-08T18:58:00Z
What My Teddy Bear Meant to Me as a Kid
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-My-Teddy-Bear-Meant-to-Me-as-a-Kid/572325966255571543.html
2019-01-07T18:58:00Z
2019-01-07T18:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I was raised to believe a woman's value was based on her education, work achievements, and what she contributed to the world. While acting on these beliefs, I always felt like there was something more. That's when I found you! You rocked my world!</p>
<p>I didn't get it at first. Why wouldn't you live with someone before marriage? Aren't stay-at-home moms just lazy slobs who take advantage of their husbands? So many questions, but I kept listening and then finally it made sense. I am now the proud mama of a 4-month-old boy and I have no intention of going back to work. My husband is the most amazing man I've ever met for so many reasons, but a big one is how hard he works so I can be there for our family!</p>
<p>Dr. Laura, thank you!</p>
<p>I was watching my little one play with his lion and I started to think about the teddy bear I carried everywhere as a kid. I took it with me because my mom had given it to me and it reminded me of her when she wasn't there. My son will never feel the sadness and the longing I felt when I was at day care all those long hours. All I wanted was my mom. Babies need their mommies! They need to be held, loved, sang to, played with... And it needs to be with Mommy! I couldn't believe I remembered this! The women who feel guilty when they abandon their children at day care should! It's heartbreaking!</p>
<p>Thank you for saying what so many when need to hear! You are a breath of fresh air!</p>
<p>Have a wonderful day!</p>
<p>Nikki</p>
Staff
2019-01-07T18:58:00Z
It's About My Daughter - Not Me!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-About-My-Daughter---Not-Me!/381942282330812747.html
2019-01-04T18:58:00Z
2019-01-04T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Thank you Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>I am a 44-year-old divorced mom with a lovely 11-year-old daughter. I have been listening to you for about a year. After hearing you talk about single parents dating, and how that is not good for the children, I have decided not to date until my daughter is 18.</p>
<p>I feel so good about this decision; I finally feel like I have clarity on the issue. I originally thought I would date when my daughter was with her father, but then I realized even though she is not with me, it will affect her in a negative way. Dating would take up my time emotionally and mentally; it would be another area of my life I would need to manage. Dating would take away my focus from raising my daughter. I feel like I am loving my daughter to the fullest capacity by not dating, and I do not feel deprived at all. I feel excited to know the next seven years are about my daughter not me.</p>
<p>I have to admit, I used to hear you talk about this topic and I didn't agree with you. But one day something clicked inside me and I finally saw the light. I know my daughter is already going through a difficult time with the divorce, and the last thing she needs is a parent preoccupied with dating. She deserves my full attention and love; it is my responsibility as her mother to be there for her in every way possible. Thank you Dr. Laura for being blunt and straightforward with the callers; listening to you enabled me to make this decision. I have never felt such complete clarity and excitement about raising my daughter.</p>
<p>Traci</p>
Staff
2019-01-04T18:58:00Z
Getting Our Son Away from Video Games
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Getting-Our-Son-Away-from-Video-Games/-829933469099843945.html
2019-01-03T18:58:00Z
2019-01-03T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I have a 25 year old son who is a good kid - very conscientious and good-hearted, but distracted by video games. My wife and I worked on the issue during his teenage years to no avail. We expressly did not want to use shame in parenting him. Then we formulated a long-term plan to bring him to reality.</p>
<p>At the beginning of his last year of a 4 year undergraduate degree, we moved him out of our house. He was not happy at first; he had to pay his monthly expenses with his part-time job and had little money left for fun. However, he still had friends over often at his apartment and still spent too much time playing video games.</p>
<p>After graduation, he announced he wanted to go to law school. I think that, after a year of paying for most of his expenses, it had finally hit home; he was suddenly determined to make something of himself.</p>
<p>There had developed a new tension between us; he felt he had to prove something to me, his father. The tension was there between him and his mother, but it was less. I can't really explain this, but it has been really effective.</p>
<p>He moved 2000 miles away from us to a big city and has paid for his law school with loans and part-time work. He ran up sizable school loan debts. He just graduated and is studying for his bar exam. He already has a job with a law firm; others in his class are still looking.</p>
<p>We are hoping and cheering and loving him from 2000 miles away. But the tension is still there, and it still works to help him keep his resolve.</p>
<p>Tim</p>
<p>P.S. He still plays video games across the Internet with his friends to help relax. I assume he will never want to give it up completely.</p>
Staff
2019-01-03T18:58:00Z
Raising Your Kids To Succeed In The REAL World
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-Your-Kids-To-Succeed-In-The-REAL-World/337464873040832528.html
2018-12-31T21:38:00Z
2018-12-31T21:38:00Z
<br />The point that parents miss a lot, is that they need to raise their kids to succeed in the REAL world.<br /><br />
<ul>
<li>When kids forget their homework on the kitchen table, let them live with the consequences. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>If they break a rule, let them bear the penalty. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>When kids want to have more freedom, teach them what the true cost of it is. </li>
</ul>
<br />An "F" on a project that was late or incomplete can be devastating to a teenager, and you help them learn from it, profit by it, and cope. It is a lot easier than being fired at 25 for missing a deadline. <br /><br />We need to be more hands-on in what life requires of us, so our kids are successful adults. When they are in college, make sure that they are not failing and hiding it from you till it is too late. <br /><br />Teach them about real life.<br />
Staff
2018-12-31T21:38:00Z
The Christmas I Grew Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Christmas-I-Grew-Up/-768308575132748595.html
2018-12-19T18:58:00Z
2018-12-19T18:58:00Z
<p><br />The Christmas of 1964 comes close to bringing tears to my eyes even today. We only got presents twice a year: birthday and Christmas. We each got three presents. Often what we got was clearly a cheaper version of what we wanted, but imagination made up the difference.</p>
<p>But the Christmas of 1964 we only got one present each--and it wasn't even close to anything we wanted. I wanted toy soldiers or something military or space. I opened my one present and it was a red bull-dozer. My younger sister expressed disappointment when she saw what little she got. I would have, too--but in that instant I caught myself. In that instant I realized how very, very tight money must be for our folks if this was all they could afford to give us. Suddenly I knew how very, very important it was for me to smile and thank them.</p>
<p>I made it a point to be seen playing with that red bull-dozer often over the next couple of weeks. It was a toy I would hardly ever have picked up, but I knew it was very important Mom and Dad know their sacrifice that year had not been in vain. I believe I succeeded in doing what few children ever do: I pulled one over on Mom and Dad.</p>
<p>Mom passed away the next year and Dad a few years ago. I never told them. They never knew I crossed an important threshold in growing up that year.</p>
<p>Allen</p>
Staff
2018-12-19T18:58:00Z
I Guess We Raised Her Right
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Guess-We-Raised-Her-Right/-169907215087057358.html
2018-12-18T18:58:00Z
2018-12-18T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I called you looking for affirmation that my husband and I had given our daughter the right advice. She had been asked by a friend's mother to throw a surprise birthday party for this friend, but then the mother said that my daughter shouldn't invite a certain few people in the church youth group that this girl didn't get along with. We advised our daughter to either invite everyone in the youth group at church or not throw the party. But we wondered if perhaps we were off base. You affirmed our counsel to our daughter, advising me to call the mother to let her know that everyone would be invited or no party.</p>
<p>Turns out, I didn't need to call her. My sweet daughter did it herself, and before I even had a chance to tell her that I would do it. I love that girl! She invited everyone; the ones who didn't get along with the birthday girl didn't come, and the party was a big success! My daughter had a number of fun activities planned, and the birthday girl was thrilled.</p>
<p>Thank you for the encouragement I've always gotten from you to be the wife and mother that my instincts have always told me that I need to be. As my kids would say...You ROCK!</p>
<p>Heidi</p>
Staff
2018-12-18T18:58:00Z
After Kicking Him to the Curb
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/After-Kicking-Him-to-the-Curb/-153915972437795311.html
2018-12-17T18:58:00Z
2018-12-17T18:58:00Z
<p><br />When my oldest was heading down the slacker path, I booted him out. The rule is: to stay at home after age 18, my kids must either be employed full-time or in school full-time and passing.</p>
<p>My son ran out of money and enlisted in the Marine Corps where he is thriving. He went in as a PFC because of the college credits he got during high school (we homeschooled and he went directly to community college and bypassed high school). He became a Lance Corporal in less than a year. He is ambitious now and working hard for his next rank. His MOS (Military Occupational Specialty) is so difficult that he will train for over two years before he is certified. His high test scores made this possible and he is training in Meteorology/Oceanography forecasting or, in other words, to be a weatherman. Weathermen are embedded anywhere aircraft land.</p>
<p>Kicking him out was extremely difficult, but it was the right thing to do. It is not slacker men who are the problem as much as slacker parents who don't have the guts to do the hard thing. They don't have the faith in their children to know they can make it on their own. My son said I made boot camp easier because the DIs (drill instructors) had nothing on me for being tough. He has already thanked me several times for kicking him out and being tough and he is only 21. He is also stunningly handsome and I could not be more proud.</p>
<p>Liz</p>
Staff
2018-12-17T18:58:00Z
How I Get My Spouse in the Mood
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Get-My-Spouse-in-the-Mood/-737569273834724503.html
2018-12-14T18:57:00Z
2018-12-14T18:57:00Z
<p><br />I like to make my wife a cup of hot herbal tea, give her a neck and foot rub, then we talk about the day....or whatever is bothering her. After a meal, we both clean things up together, so we can then relax (usually in the bedroom) with a kiss, cuddle, and either a nap or let nature take its course. <br /><br />This has worked very well for 15+ years now.</p>
<p>By the way, to the guys out there... I give my wife a single rose frequently. This helps to keep the marriage and romance 'alive'. Just a word to the wise. </p>
<p>Blessings,</p>
<p>J.B.</p>
Staff
2018-12-14T18:57:00Z
My Husband Agrees with You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husband-Agrees-with-You/-239344314204876058.html
2018-12-13T18:58:00Z
2018-12-13T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura -</p>
<p>My mother has listened to you for many years, and I have just recently started listening to your program. My mother introduced me to "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>". I read it, loved it, and am currently reading your book "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage</em>".</p>
<p>I am 41 years old and have been married to my husband for 19 years. While I would say that overall my marriage has been a good one (not without some troubles, though) I have to tell you how much your books have opened my eyes as to how to be a better wife and make my husband happier. While your book helped show me things I was doing right as a wife (i.e. not complaining about his time with the boys, like most of my married girlfriends, do -- and here I thought I was the outcast!) it also showed me areas where I needed to improve (i.e. learn to be his girlfriend again). He has 2 children from a previous marriage and we have 2 together (3 are young adults now, and the youngest is 16).</p>
<p>I have begun reading some parts of your books to my husband and he is in total agreement with what you have to say. I have yet to read something that he disagrees with. So, I just wanted to send you a BIG THANK YOU because your books have helped me to put my priorities in order.</p>
<p>A new avid listener/fan,</p>
<p>Raquel</p>
Staff
2018-12-13T18:58:00Z
A Calming Effect
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Calming-Effect/-537850971298249553.html
2018-12-12T18:58:00Z
2018-12-12T18:58:00Z
<p>I just recently discovered your show on SiriusXM Radio. I used to listen to your program about 10-12 years ago, when your program was carried on WLS 890 AM radio out of Chicago. I was about 20 years old at the time and am now 33. I always wanted to share this little story with you.</p>
<p>When I was around 20, I used to work on a large hog farm operation in DeMotte, Indiana. It was a 2,000 sow farm and every week we were farrowing. My job was to unload a room of 36-48 sows, clean the room and pressure wash it to a spotless condition. Then, the following morning I would bring in a new group of sows that were ready to drop babies in the next day or two.</p>
<p>I would have to bring them into the room, load them into their farrowing crates and wash them. The washing process was done by spraying them down with water followed by a spraying of a soapy mix. Then I would take a brush and scrub each hog as clean as I could get them.</p>
<p>Every morning that I did this, I would carry a large boombox into the farrowing house and turn on your radio program! I always tried to time things just right to start the washing at the beginning of your show. Once Dr. Laura was turned on, it would take the room of 36-48 hogs about 10-15 minutes to calm down, relax and at times, many were so calm they would actually go to sleep! YOU made my job easier! <br /><br />I always brought a boombox into the room to listen to your show because I really found the calls very interesting, as well as your brutal answers! The hogs must have found some comfort in your voice because you could take that rowdy room of screaming, unhappy, fat pregnant hogs and turn them into a quiet, relaxed herd of swine in about 15 minutes!</p>
<p>Thanks for reading my story.</p>
<p>Bobby</p>
Staff
2018-12-12T18:58:00Z
How to Feel Joy When...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-to-Feel-Joy-When.../361139521541320528.html
2018-12-11T18:58:00Z
2018-12-11T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Lately, I have felt like a lump of coal pushed in from all sides, so much so, I've said, "<em>I'm 'pooping' diamonds.</em>" <br /><br />My mom passed in our arms less than 2 weeks ago, my poor dad (married 59 years) is a wreck and needs a lot of help adjusting and lives 5 hours away. The economy continues to crush my own family, so much so, the bills are behind and any extras are out of the question, much less Christmas presents. Oh yes, and carpet beetles (who knew there was such a thing) have invaded my bedroom and closet and are eating our best clothing which we can't afford to replace. My extremely bright pre-med minded and capable daughter is a senior and we are at a loss on how to pay for college.</p>
<p>This is enough to go hide in a hole. I know now why we aren't gifted with crystal balls. We wouldn't get out of bed in the morning.</p>
<p>I've had to do an extreme amount of flipping my point of view around. My mom lived a long 82 years. She showed and taught us much; the biggest being that we were so incredibly loved and worthy of the best of intangibles in life. The second being that, when things go to Hell in a handbasket, you fall together, not apart.</p>
<p>There is a maintenance person at our school who had to take in 5 of her grandchildren, and she needs Christmas more than we ever did. Our efforts however small will be concentrated there instead of on ourselves.</p>
<p>I have a car and gas to go home to help Dad, and he is appreciative. My husband and children have been gentle and kind to me since Mom died, running interference where needed.</p>
<p>My husband continues to interview seriously for jobs (he is self-employed now) and has made great inroads even while running his own business hard. He has even taken a second job to improve things. He is smart, driven, and loves me like mad even after 23 years of marriage.</p>
<p>We have a roof over our heads and have never missed a meal.</p>
<p>I'm in a full-scale war with the bugs-- perhaps brought in when I bought some used clothing from a thrift store. (Note to self: next time they go straight to a washer or dry cleaners)</p>
<p>I spend much time seeking and applying for college scholarships. Fortunately, my child's grades, test scores, activities, and inner character will qualify her. A great community college in town is the last resort and would be fine for freshman courses to transfer elsewhere later.</p>
<p>So, Dr. Laura, I say make a nice ring out of those diamonds.... and, if you have to, even a matching necklace.</p>
<p>Thanks for all you do.<br /> <br />Melanie</p>
Staff
2018-12-11T18:58:00Z
I Found Balance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Found-Balance/-823416696518310009.html
2018-12-10T18:58:00Z
2018-12-10T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>The other day my 11-year-old son asked me why I listened to you. Surprisingly, I did not have an answer. I had to think about it for a few days, and then God brought me a revelation.</p>
<p>I was raised by my paternal grandmother who was a God fearing woman who believed you needed to be nice to everyone no matter what and that everyone, down deep, was nice. My biological mother, who I did not see that often maybe spring break for a week, or a weekend here and there, believed you needed to stand up and fight about every little thing, and be as irrational as you wanted to be while doing it. In you, I find balance. You help me to know when to stand up and how to do it, and you also teach me how to be gracious to people when I really do not have to fight. You teach me how to be loving.</p>
<p>You are the mother I never had. Thank you.</p>
<p>Peace and Grace in Christ,</p>
<p>Shereese</p>
Staff
2018-12-10T18:58:00Z
How We Raised Them: Love, Respect and Hard Work
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-We-Raised-Them:-Love,-Respect-and-Hard-Work/762775006555257.html
2018-12-07T18:58:00Z
2018-12-07T18:58:00Z
<p><br />As a high school teacher, I see and hear so many kids talk very disrespectfully about their parents. Many times I intercede before they get too full of themselves and tell them exactly what would have happened if any of my own kids had tried to talk to their daddy or me in the manner that these kids "<em>profess</em>" to speak to their parents.</p>
<p>My husband and I raised our children on my family's ranch. Our children were the 5th generation to be raised on this land and the heritage for them is powerful. Is that the key? I don't know. We had extended family in grandparents, great aunts, aunts, uncles, cousins, and many close friends and a small community to help steer our children in the right path should they ever witness them straying. But I do know my husband had our children with him as much as I had them at home with me. Of course, not every family has that luxury, but they saw first-hand the hard work. And yes, they worked as well when they were growing up. They were on horseback with their daddy when he was riding pastures and they loved being on their horses and with their daddy. <br /><br />Later on, as they got older, they probably wanted to stay home and watch their TV shows, but they helped work and in that lifestyle, they learned work ethics which have shaped them in their adult lives now. We might have had the luxury of having our children with us all the time, but that was the only luxury we had. We didn't have everything - shoot, we didn't have much but we had each other, meals in our tummies, a roof over our heads and a love for our family unit to unequal any other!! Our children might have sassed us in their minds, but they knew what would have happened had they sassed us verbally. It just wasn't going to fly, Wilbur!!</p>
<p>I am not claiming to have interpreted the DaVinci Code, but love, respect, and hard work make a huge difference in our children's lives. My husband and I didn't try to be our kids' best friends - that was a bonus when they grew up!!</p>
<p>Thank you for all you do.</p>
<p>Oklahoma</p>
Staff
2018-12-07T18:58:00Z
Toddling About the Town
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Toddling-About-the-Town/-356650227610323913.html
2018-12-06T18:58:00Z
2018-12-06T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura</p>
<p>I have an awful daycare story of complete horror for any parent.</p>
<p>My husband's co-worker ran into a local police officer at the store one day. (This community is pretty small, so people know each other by name.) The officer proceeded to talk to him about the crazy incident involving his 2-3 year old (who was in daycare). The father, in a state of shock, didn't know of any "incident" at the time.</p>
<p>The officer proceeded to tell him how earlier in the week he picked up the man's toddler wandering around town. In fact, the toddler wasn't just in town but in very close proximity to the main highway. (Did I mention he was supposed to be in daycare?) Anyway, the child was returned by the officer safe and sound to the facility. But nothing was ever said to the mom or dad until Dad heard it from the officer. Needless to say, the parents were fuming and pulled their child out of daycare right away. What a total nightmare!<br /> <br />I guess it does really pay to be a stay-at-home mom. That way you always know where your kids are and what they're doing.</p>
<p>K.</p>
Staff
2018-12-06T18:58:00Z
Paid with Love and Support
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Paid-with-Love-and-Support/-694181509389220116.html
2018-12-05T18:58:00Z
2018-12-05T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>As I sit quietly today feeling unvalued by the boss I have just given my notice to after 4 years of dedicated hard work - not nearly worth the paycheck, lost time with my children or the stresses brought on by my position - I choose to reflect on the future instead and the words my husband continues to issue to me: "Please stay at home and raise our family. We value you and we will pay you with love and support."</p>
<p>After listening to you instill wisdom into the souls of deserving moms for many years, I finally had enough courage to follow your advice and my dreams. I wait in anticipation for the transition that soon will take place: the struggle of paying bills, fighting children, mountains of laundry and of course being able to be my husband's girlfriend at any point of the day... No tired wife here! My courage will now allow my children to benefit from my nurturing and teachings and my husband will now be able to focus on providing for our family with his career and dreams.<br /> <br />So my gratitude goes out to you and my husband today and I will continue to count my blessings every second of each day that is given to me and my beautiful family.</p>
<p>All the best,</p>
<p>A proud mom & wife</p>
Staff
2018-12-05T18:58:00Z
Finally The Big Sister I Wanted To Be
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finally-The-Big-Sister-I-Wanted-To-Be/-420760551500549773.html
2018-12-04T18:58:00Z
2018-12-04T18:58:00Z
<p><br />My little sister is my best friend. It has not always been this way, but I value her friendship more than any other human being (other than my husband).</p>
<p>As children, our father pitted us against each other often sparking physical fights between us because he thought it was normal to hate your siblings. Then after our mother passed away, we lived separately because her mental health went into decline and she was in and out of homes, kicked out of our adopted families' home and moved from relative to relative until she finally got married. My little sister struggled with Bi-Polar disorder and we fought often, mostly due to the fact she felt I was not sad enough over our mother's death and felt I didn't love her enough.</p>
<p>When I met my husband he helped me cut her off completely because of her caustic effect on my emotions and well being. About 2 years ago though, she woke up, she lost a ton of weight, started feeling better about herself, and we made amends. I was cautious at first because we had made amends and broke ties many, many times over the last 15 years. It turned out I didn't need to be cautious though, and last December on the 14th anniversary of our mother's death, she called me telling me she was pregnant! We have had so much fun the last 7 months preparing for the baby and shopping for baby things and planning her baby shower. I finally feel like I am getting to be a big sister and that my little sister needs and looks up to me, and we talk every day!</p>
<p>Nicole</p>
Staff
2018-12-04T18:58:00Z
Paid with Love and Support
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Paid-with-Love-and-Support/-529716004682064348.html
2018-12-03T18:58:00Z
2018-12-03T18:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>As I sit quietly today feeling unvalued by the boss I have just given my notice to after 4 years of dedicated hard work - not nearly worth the paycheck, lost time with my children or the stresses brought on by my position - I choose to reflect on the future instead and the words my husband continues to issue to me: "Please stay at home and raise our family. We value you and we will pay you with love and support."</p>
<p>After listening to you instill wisdom into the souls of deserving moms for many years, I finally had enough courage to follow your advice and my dreams. I wait in anticipation for the transition that soon will take place: the struggle of paying bills, fighting children, mountains of laundry and of course being able to be my husband's girlfriend at any point of the day... No tired wife here! My courage will now allow my children to benefit from my nurturing and teachings and my husband will now be able to focus on providing for our family with his career and dreams.<br /> <br />So my gratitude goes out to you and my husband today and I will continue to count my blessings every second of each day that is given to me and my beautiful family.</p>
<p>All the best,</p>
<p>A proud mom & wife</p>
Staff
2018-12-03T18:58:00Z
My Marriage Is The Example For My Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Marriage-Is-The-Example-For-My-Kids/-283557225536203576.html
2018-11-30T18:58:00Z
2018-11-30T18:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I'm doing the dishes, listening to your podcast, shocked at the number of women calling to complain about their husbands. It has occurred to me that a lot of these women would profess to be good mothers. Many of them stating they started neglecting their husband as soon as they had kids. After reading "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060520620/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0060520620&linkCode=as2&tag=wwwdrlauracom-20&linkId=5AWR3PAVKGV2KTFV" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a>" and listening to you, I realized that I should treat my husband at least as good as I treat my kids. <br /><br />One day it was very hot and my 2-year-old son was playing outside with my husband. Even though my son was in the shade, he was already sweating. I decided to bring out a wet washcloth to cool him off. And since I was thinking about my husband, I decided to bring one out for him too. I wiped the sweat off my kidlet's face and the back of his neck. Then I walked over to my husband to do the same. He was very surprised, even asking "<em>Is that for me?</em>". After I was finished, he was putty in my hands. All because I afforded him the same thought that I did my 2-year-old. I try to keep this in mind to for the future. My marriage is the example for my kids. <br /><br /><br /><br />How do you treat your spouse kindly? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2018-11-30T18:58:00Z
I Guess We Raised Her Right
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Guess-We-Raised-Her-Right/-180178834808400382.html
2018-11-29T18:58:00Z
2018-11-29T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I called you looking for affirmation that my husband and I had given our daughter the right advice. She had been asked by a friend's mother to throw a surprise birthday party for this friend, but then the mother said that my daughter shouldn't invite a certain few people in the church youth group that this girl didn't get along with. We advised our daughter to either invite everyone in the youth group at church or not throw the party. But we wondered if perhaps we were off base. You affirmed our counsel to our daughter, advising me to call the mother to let her know that everyone would be invited or no party.</p>
<p>Turns out, I didn't need to call her. My sweet daughter did it herself, and before I even had a chance to tell her that I would do it. I love that girl! She invited everyone; the ones who didn't get along with the birthday girl didn't come, and the party was a big success! My daughter had a number of fun activities planned, and the birthday girl was thrilled.</p>
<p>Thank you for the encouragement I've always gotten from you to be the wife and mother that my instincts have always told me that I need to be. As my kids would say...You ROCK!</p>
<p>Heidi</p>
Staff
2018-11-29T18:58:00Z
Taking the Adult Reins in Your Own Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-the-Adult-Reins-in-Your-Own-Home/221467790015320556.html
2018-11-29T18:58:00Z
2018-11-29T18:58:00Z
<p>I frequently hear you advise callers they have to stand up to their parents. This advice generally is followed by a silence and then a gulp from the caller. I want to share my experience.</p>
<p>Years ago, my mom and dad visited me and my new husband in our home. I don't remember the exact remark my dad made, but I do recall that it was intended to be derogatory toward my husband. I took a deep breath, turned to my dad and said "I can't allow you to insult my husband in our home. You have to leave now. If you can never do that again, you are welcome anytime. Otherwise, don't call me and don't come back." The room went silent. My mom looked like a bomb had just been deployed. My dad started to bluster and tell me everything from him that would be discontinued if I didn't apologize to him. I stood up, repeated my remarks and started him out the door. He blustered all the way and mom looked shell-shocked, even as they drove away.</p>
<p>It took about a week for my dad, who NEVER apologized for anything to call with an apology and a request to start over. We accepted.</p>
<p>Until he died, my dad never truly liked my husband but he always treated him with respect.</p>
<p>Phoenix</p>
Staff
2018-11-29T18:58:00Z
College and a Husband... Both by Chance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/College-and-a-Husband...-Both-by-Chance/42018184634105214.html
2018-11-28T18:58:00Z
2018-11-28T18:58:00Z
<p><br /><em>"Did you ever observe to whom the accidents happen? Chance favors only the prepared mind." </em>- Louis Pasteur</p>
<p>I graduated in the top ten of my high school class, and was accepted into my first choice expensive private college. However, the financial aid package still meant I could not afford to attend this school without going into major debt. In late June, after high school graduation, the director, of the honors program to which I had been admitted, called to ask me why I hadn't registered for classes yet. I admitted I could not afford to attend the school. She made a few phone calls and one of the admissions officers set up interviews with two philanthropic groups. Between the scholarships I had earned and the original aid package, I only had to pay a quarter of the total tuition for four years. That one call changed my life. I later learned as an alumna that often groups award money to incoming freshmen who end up committing to other universities, and then the scholarship money comes available. No doubt I earned those kinds of awards thanks to the care and interest of two admissions counselors on campus.</p>
<p>My husband and I have known each other since elementary school; however, we never dated each other. We grew up several blocks apart. As an adult, I moved back home to save money for my future as I started my teaching career. While roller-skating for exercise in full 80s neon spandex, I saw my friend washing his car outside. I could have just skated by, but by chance I decided to talk. We chatted about our cars (both convertibles) and other things. I was saving to buy a new car at the time. Six months later, I was driving my spiffy new convertible home from work. I started car flirting with the guy in the convertible next to me. Well, it was my friend. We waved each other down and I followed him home... another chancy move. We started chatting again and exchanged numbers. He lived downtown not far from where I went to college, and we talked about going out in the city. The next week he called me up, and we started dating. This month we will be celebrating our 20th anniversary.</p>
<p>So indeed, chance does favor the prepared mind!</p>
<p>Lori</p>
Staff
2018-11-28T18:58:00Z
Remember Parents, You're In Charge
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Remember-Parents,-Youre-In-Charge/-163338729923865342.html
2018-11-27T18:58:00Z
2018-11-27T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, </p>
<p>I listen to your show on my way home (on XM radio). I wanted to send you a big thank you for your response to a recent call. It reminded me that as parents are in charge. In the daily hubbub of maintaining the home, sports, laundry, pets, cooking, working, etc. it's easy to forget that we parents have the power that rules the home. I used your response to solve a problem, albeit a minor one, in my home. </p>
<p>I have a daughter home from college for the summer. In the 8 weeks she's been home, her room has been clean about 5 days. For the past 3 days, I have told her to clean it up. Well, it wasn't happening to my satisfaction, so this morning, I took her computer 'hostage'! I texted her and told her that if she did not clean her room, to my satisfaction, 'her' phone and car keys were next. (I took great pleasure in doing this!) She was mad, sure, but she handled it in a mature manner, and took care of business, and it only took her 3 hours (!). I am proud of her for her response and understanding that cleaning the room wasn't about cleanliness, but about respect, duty, and responsibility.</p>
<p>So thank you, Dr. Laura, for reminding me that I'm in charge. I look forward to future situations when I can utilize my unique methods of 'torture' on my teens!</p>
<p>Cheers,</p>
<p>Amy</p>
Staff
2018-11-27T18:58:00Z
My Husband Agrees with You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husband-Agrees-with-You/-579830276104849790.html
2018-11-26T18:58:00Z
2018-11-26T18:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura -</p>
<p>My mother has listened to you for many years, and I have just recently started listening to your program. My mother introduced me to "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". I read it, loved it, and am currently reading your book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage".</p>
<p>I am 41 years old, and have been married to my husband for 19 years. While I would say that overall my marriage has been a good one (not without some troubles, though) I have to tell you how much your books have opened my eyes as to how to be a better wife and make my husband happier. While your book helped show me things I was doing right as a wife (i.e. not complaining about his time with the boys, like most of my married girlfriends do -- and here I thought I was the outcast!) it also showed me areas where I needed to improve (i.e. learn to be his girlfriend again). He has 2 children from a previous marriage and we have 2 together (3 are young adults now, and the youngest is 16).</p>
<p>I have begun reading some parts of your books to my husband and he is in total agreement with what you have to say. I have yet to read something that he disagrees with. So, I just wanted to send you a BIG THANK YOU because your books have helped me to put my priorities in order.</p>
<p>A new avid listener/fan,</p>
<p>Raquel</p>
Staff
2018-11-26T18:58:00Z
From a Child's Point of View
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/From-a-Childs-Point-of-View/-42992247607549664.html
2018-11-21T18:58:00Z
2018-11-21T18:58:00Z
<p><br />When I was a little girl, I had this big white stuffed poodle dog that I took everywhere, even to town. When my mother tried to wash some of the dirt off him, I cried next to the wash machine!</p>
<p>It was getting very worn and ratty looking, and wasn't so white anymore, so my parents gave me a new white poodle toy for my birthday, which I instantly loved also! But after I opened the gift, my mom said, "<em>Well, I'll take this old one now and get rid of it since you have a nice new poodle.</em>" I flew into panic mode clutching my old poodle, yelling, "<em>No, no! I'm keeping him too!</em>" I think my parents were trying some type of psychology on me with the old dog/new dog trade, but it didn't work. I kept both stuffed toy dogs!</p>
<p>It's funny, I hardly ever think about the old toys anymore, but I sure miss my folks.</p>
<p>Debbie</p>
Staff
2018-11-21T18:58:00Z
Can You Hear Me Now?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Can-You-Hear-Me-Now/-867889190713660913.html
2018-11-20T18:58:00Z
2018-11-20T18:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Is it just me noticing this or is this the sad new norm: Mothers deliberately ignoring their children whilst selfishly too busy on their cell phones while shopping etc to pay attention to their children...</p>
<p>If I was a child again, I could NOT imagine my mother too pre-occupied being busy on the phone ignoring me while out shopping... What must children of these parents be growing up thinking???</p>
<p>Clearly it is telling children they are NOT important enough for parents to focus on them, to do their job raising and teaching by example HEALTHY behavior! No wonder children grow up not being potty trained or having any manners - parents are too busy being selfish and lazy to guide their offspring into contributing members of society.</p>
<p>How sad to witness parents on cell phones ignoring the glorious moments they should be cherishing with their children...</p>
<p>Love & respect your advice Dr. Laura- Keep the tractor going…</p>
<p>Hugs,</p>
<p>Lara</p>
Staff
2018-11-20T18:58:00Z
Keeping Steam and Sizzle in the Bedroom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-Steam-and-Sizzle-in-the-Bedroom/810482939237481045.html
2018-11-19T18:58:00Z
2018-11-19T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>My husband is easy. He's pretty much in the mood all the time. Whenever, wherever... we have sex at least once a day, sometimes two or three (and we're in our 40's). But because women are different, I found that it's good to always stay "prepared"... One way is, I NEVER go to bed with clothes on. The second is that I have a few things I rotate inside of my head about my husband throughout the day. Things I love about him, things that attracted me to him in the first place. I focus fully on one or two things and before I know it, I'm ready to go. And yes, even with a headache.</p>
<p>My mother taught me to never say no to my husband, but I realize that there is a difference between just being a willing participant and being right there in the moment with him. It's my very favorite part of the life we share, and I think it's his, too.</p>
<p>Julie</p>
Staff
2018-11-19T18:58:00Z
My Secret to Happiness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Secret-to-Happiness/-356783401874338766.html
2018-11-16T18:58:00Z
2018-11-16T18:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura -</p>
<p>Long time listener and big time fan of yours. Saw you a couple of years ago in Redwood City, California.</p>
<p>My husband and I moved to Florida a year ago, to go have fun and travel. Our less pricey rental was to be our home base. He soon came down with what turned out to be terminal cancer and passed away 5 months later at the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville. My boss in Half Moon Bay, California, offered me my job back and I moved back home to familiar surroundings and loved ones.</p>
<p>I have lost 30 pounds and have never felt better. I am happy and dating and people are astounded, and even jealous, that I am doing so well.</p>
<p>Perhaps my secret to happiness was experiencing my husband's death and how every day, every moment is a gift which cannot be wasted. When I walked out of that hospice center for the last time, I felt my body, checked my legs and arms, and said to myself, "Well, I'm still alive - I didn't die. I've got to get busy - there's so much to do in life! Let's not waste a second." And I've been the Energizer bunny ever since, not wasting a single moment, except to sit with a good friend and have a beer.</p>
<p>May God bless you and all you do for our troops and their families. My husband served 26 years and I was proud to be called his girlfriend.</p>
<p>Very truly yours,</p>
<p>Julie</p>
Staff
2018-11-16T18:58:00Z
On Being a First Time Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/On-Being-a-First-Time-Mom/-429973729074635239.html
2018-11-14T18:58:00Z
2018-11-14T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I decided to go to school to learn about child development. I did not have the best upbringing, and knew when I had children, I wanted to be the best mother I could be. I actually excelled in college and I was now a "Child Development Major". Then I had my first child and I remember how tiny she was and how absolutely beautiful she was and still is! Once they put her in my arms, I knew motherhood was for me, until that first night, trying to breast feed, worrying that she wasn't getting enough, should I supplement... The questions went on and on.</p>
<p>Now she is 26 years old, a mother, and a terrific mother at that! She is still the most beautiful child to me, but of course so are my other two! I am happy to say, I survived, so did they. There were some moments through adolescence I wasn't sure who would survive!!!! I love my children, they are all very close to one another and to us, so I guess I didn't do too bad after all. I learned with each one, that raising children is a gift, one that I have treasured and continue to treasure.</p>
<p>I am glad I went to school, because it helped me to be a better parent. I realized when raising children, not all the answers are in the text books, they are in your heart, too!</p>
<p>Karen</p>
Staff
2018-11-14T18:58:00Z
The Father of a Female Teen
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Father-of-a-Female-Teen/915175945949003644.html
2018-11-13T18:58:00Z
2018-11-13T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My daughter is nearly 14 (another daughter is 12) and yet to bring up boys much, which is good, but I know she has questions like - when will a boy like me? And if I have my way, not for another 5 years.</p>
<p>I look forward to times when it's just me and her so we can talk about things from the "dad perspective" that she wouldn't normally bring up when we're all together. FYI, we are a family of faithful Catholics and she seems to be embracing the faith well. So, every issue we discuss is always grounded in our faith.</p>
<p>I also keep your advice in mind. So when it comes to boys, she needs to have a discerning mind about who this boy is and whether he is permanent material. At her age, boys are just friends and should never take the next "step". When she's out of school and on her adult path, then she may think about sharing her life with someone else. Until then...she's mine!</p>
<p>Blessings,</p>
<p>Bob</p>
Staff
2018-11-13T18:58:00Z
Bonding with Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bonding-with-Dad/-147698612140985593.html
2018-11-12T18:58:00Z
2018-11-12T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I'm not a mother or father, but I'm a daughter who took the time I spent with my father seriously. When I was a teenager, my dad drove me to and from youth group, and while he drove we talked - about boys, dating, school, whatever came up. As a result, my dad became someone I could turn to when I needed advice on something, and those moments kept me sane through some very difficult times later in life.</p>
<p>Those moments in the car gave us a bond beyond biology, because we were genuinely interested in each other's lives. That still holds true today, almost ten years later. I credit those moments we spent together just talking as the reason he and I have such a strong relationship. I treasure those moments more with each passing day, and I am so grateful to my dad for taking the time to talk and just be there for me.</p>
<p>If I am lucky enough to become a parent, I expect my husband to do the same for our children.</p>
<p>Amanda</p>
<div id="_mcePaste" class="mcePaste" style="position: absolute; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden; top: 0px; left: -10000px;"></div>
Staff
2018-11-12T18:58:00Z
One Cannot Change Without the Other
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/One-Cannot-Change-Without-the-Other/-492540881605201271.html
2018-11-09T18:58:00Z
2018-11-09T18:58:00Z
<p><br />My husband and I have been married for 24 years. He is my hero and I am his girlfriend. Mothering my children is my main job after caring for my husband.</p>
<p>While attempting to support a struggling friend who was headed for divorce I read your book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. We had been through hard times and I found we had unknowingly followed your guidance on getting it back together. I have since given your book to many friends.</p>
<p>I recently told a struggling friend who wants her husband to change first, "I don't know how God takes a man who is doing things wrong and turns him into a whole new guy when his wife does right by him. But I know God does it, because I am sure I didn't do it all."</p>
<p>Thanks for getting the word out on how to be a great wife.</p>
<p>C.</p>
Staff
2018-11-09T18:58:00Z
Mom Just as Guilty as Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mom-Just-as-Guilty-as-Dad/729839000038309171.html
2018-11-08T18:58:00Z
2018-11-08T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I grew up in a house where my father verbally, emotionally, and physically abused me and my two sisters (I thank God there was no sexual abuse to any of us). His mood swings were sporadic and we were always walking on eggshells.</p>
<p>As a child I had always thought of my Mom as an innocent victim, but after a comment from my sister and listening to you over the years, I came to realize my Mom is just as damaged as he is and she is just as guilty for the abuse because she CHOSE to stand by and do nothing (they've been married 45yrs now). Like you've said on your show, "water seeks its own level." So now I have a whole new perspective. I don't feel sorry for her and how he treats her and when she complains about him and his usual antics, I just look at her and smile and say, "You chose him, Mom" and then either change the subject or walk out of the room.</p>
<p>To all the young adults out there: Please choose wisely! Your future children are depending on you.</p>
<p>C</p>
Staff
2018-11-08T18:58:00Z
11 Years Later
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/11-Years-Later/598330700380695176.html
2018-11-07T18:58:00Z
2018-11-07T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I was 23 and stupid but smart enough to know I had to find a job to make some money before I started graduate school. At that job, the radio was set to your show. Thank God for that. I heard you say "you have to kiss a lot of toads before you find your prince". The quote is still in my Bible today, 11 years later.</p>
<p>I left that needy girl behind along with a bad relationship and a toxic guy. I found myself and because of that, found my prince. I completed Graduate school, got an excellent job in healthcare serving our nation's veterans and wounded warriors.</p>
<p>I have listened to you every day after work to keep my "girlfriend" skills fine-tuned. My husband and I have a beautiful baby girl and as I type this, I have just emailed my letter of resignation to a top-notch boss so I can now become My Kid's Mom - full time. Thank you, Dr. Laura. Without your advice, I know I would not have been shaped into the wise woman, wife, and mother I have come to be. Of all life's decisions I have made, the most difficult has been to put my career on the back burner. I work every day to improve the quality of life for our veterans of war and while this is of great need, ultimately, my daughter needs me more. I am certain without your mission, I would not have hit send on that email today.</p>
<p>From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I'll keep you posted on life as My Kid's Mom and My Husband's Girlfriend.</p>
<p>C.</p>
Staff
2018-11-07T18:58:00Z
Remember Parents, You're In Charge
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Remember-Parents,-Youre-In-Charge/-522032500001664810.html
2018-11-06T18:58:00Z
2018-11-06T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, </p>
<p>I listen to your show on my way home (on XM radio). I wanted to send you a big thank you for your response to a recent call. It reminded me that as parents are in charge. In the daily hubbub of maintaining the home, sports, laundry, pets, cooking, working, etc. it's easy to forget that we parents have the power that rules the home. I used your response to solve a problem, albeit a minor one, in my home. </p>
<p>I have a daughter home from college for the summer. In the 8 weeks, she's been home, her room has been clean about 5 days. For the past 3 days, I have told her to clean it up. Well, it wasn't happening to my satisfaction, so this morning, I took her computer 'hostage'! I texted her and told her that if she did not clean her room, to my satisfaction, 'her' phone and car keys were next. (I took great pleasure in doing this!) She was mad, sure, but she handled it in a mature manner, and took care of business, and it only took her 3 hours (!). I am proud of her for her response and understanding that cleaning the room wasn't about cleanliness, but about respect, duty, and responsibility.</p>
<p>So thank you, Dr. Laura, for reminding me that I'm in charge. I look forward to future situations when I can utilize my unique methods of 'torture' on my teens!</p>
<p>Cheers,</p>
<p>Amy</p>
Staff
2018-11-06T18:58:00Z
The Value of a Dollar
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Value-of-a-Dollar/811527618692449973.html
2018-11-05T18:58:00Z
2018-11-05T18:58:00Z
<p><br />The majority of Moms do NOT need to work. It depends on where their priorities are and how much they are willing to sacrifice. My sister and her husband live 45+ miles from any major town and raised 4 children. He works, she does not.</p>
<p>They have paid cash for every suburban with the 4wheel drive they have ever purchased. All four children went to gymnastics for several years. How did they do it? I swear my sister can make every dollar turn into a $1.25. When you go to their home you are greeted with meals cooked from scratch, drink out of 8 oz yogurt plastic containers for cups, eat off simple mismatched dishes. Ziplock bags are washed out and reused and much more of this nature. She bought clothes when needed, mended lots of clothes and did not wear the latest fashions. I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. We were all raised to appreciate the value of the dollar and have 'gone green' most of our lives.</p>
<p>Our folks taught us the value of family. Once I asked my Mom why she didn't go to PTA meetings and volunteer. Her response paraphrased was "If I did that then I would have to get someone else to take care of you all the time - Best just to take care of my own and do these things when you are up an out." She was right… we need to take care of our own first.<br /><br />Jackie</p>
Staff
2018-11-05T18:58:00Z
Havin' BABIES and Husbands!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Havin-BABIES-and-Husbands!/879280007865064794.html
2018-11-02T17:58:00Z
2018-11-02T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I guess we just LOVE having babies because we have four under five and I'm not even 28!</p>
<p>We have a little experience with childbirth you could say. Our first had a serious birth defect and was a crazy pregnancy, labor, and delivery. Our second was a surprise and showed up just 13 months later! Our third got stuck and was injured in the process. Our fourth (our first girl) got stuck too! They are all alive and well for now and we love them dearly!</p>
<p>I don't think you can really prepare for labor and delivery because of the variety of deliveries. My hubby is a 6'5, 220 lb. PURE man! But blood makes him squeamish and he doesn't like seeing me in pain (so sweet). So, he kept telling himself he would not be in the delivery room. He would not watch! Then, when it came down to it, love conquered all and because we have such a close bond and were so excited for each baby, he held his head high and EVEN cut the cord! I think adrenaline is a gift from God in these situations.</p>
<p>I did try and prepare him a little by telling him some things to beware of, but that might have made the anticipation even worse. I think the fact that "I" stayed calm throughout (with many prayers!) helped him a lot! We realized after our first, we are only in control of so much and the rest is in God's hands. We can't prevent everything! There's no use in worrying over those things you can't prevent, so go in there bravely and with hope. Most likely everything will be okay...and IF NOT...hopefully we can be strong!</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Laura (loving mother and even more loving wife</p>
Staff
2018-11-02T17:58:00Z
Singing His Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Singing-His-Love/252359130526487120.html
2018-11-01T17:58:00Z
2018-11-01T17:58:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>My husband and I are both musicians. While dating, I had written a lovey-dovey love song to him, and he was so moved by it, he decided to do the same for me. But he got halfway through writing it and developed a serious case of writer's block. The months went by and I had forgotten about the unfinished song.</p>
<p>A few days before our 1 year dating anniversary, he visited me at work, during my lunch break, with guitar in hand to show me the finished song. I'd had a horrible day at work with demanding and rude customers, so I was extra happy to see him. He played up to the part of the song he'd finished before the writer's block hit. Then he put down the guitar, pulled a ring box out of his pocket and set it down opened in front of me. He picked the guitar back up and continued the song..."Your beautiful face lights my life. So now I ask you, please be my wife..." After he finished the song, I said yes through my tears, and he put the beautiful ring on my finger. It was all so wonderfully romantically cliché! I can't imagine a better proposal. Now, two weeks before we celebrate our 10 yr. anniversary, after 5 kids, all our ups and downs, we are both still hopeless romantics.</p>
<p>A</p>
Staff
2018-11-01T17:58:00Z
The Most Important Decision I Made
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Most-Important-Decision-I-Made/879953862904674006.html
2018-10-31T17:58:00Z
2018-10-31T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I have been a stay-at-home mom for the last 11 years. I had a good prestigious job at a prestigious institution. My husband and I had decided when the baby arrived I would quit my job. That is exactly what I did. This was the most important decision I made and I don't have an ounce of regret. My husband and I both agreed no day care provider would be able to provide the love and care I could give to our daughter.</p>
<p>My daughter is in middle school now but everyone sees the difference it has made in her personality and her level of self confidence. She is the best student in her class and is liked by her teachers. I have given her all the attention I could and tried to raise her with the best religious and moral values. Yes, we have less money to spend but neither my husband nor I are materialistic. We are teaching our daughter to also be less materialistic and more spiritual.</p>
<p>I know sometimes necessity drives women to leave their children in day care, but it really boggles my mind when women go to work and leave their children in the care of others because they want to fulfill their own desires. I was taken by surprise and sadness when I heard the story of one of my friends' sister-in-law who has two nannies to take care of her twins - one during the day when she is at work and one for the night when she needs her sleep. So why did she have these children?</p>
<p>I am very glad God has provided me the opportunity to be with my daughter and see her grow into a beautiful, confident, God-fearing young lady. No amount of money in the world can substitute for the treasure I have.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, for always standing for the right thing.</p>
<p>S.</p>
Staff
2018-10-31T17:58:00Z
R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/R.E.S.P.E.C.T./-444022854987824743.html
2018-10-30T17:58:00Z
2018-10-30T17:58:00Z
<p><br />R.E.S.P.E.C.T. What does it mean to me?</p>
<p>As a mom and Dr. Laura listener, it means raising kids who are Responsible, Enduring, Steadfast, Productive, Effective, Charitable and Tolerant.</p>
<p>Fueled by your advice to raise one’s own children, and prompted by gratitude that, as a cancer survivor, I was given the opportunity to make an impact on my kids’ lives, we made the decision to raise our own children. It was tough. I endured treatments while one of my newborn twins underwent open heart surgery. But we were blessed with health, remained committed, and, in the years to follow, taught our kids about character, serving God and one’s community. Long periods of joy were punctuated by equally (doubly?) long periods of frustration. Employment might have been the more celebrated, profitable (and peaceful) route. We are parents to two talented 16 year old twins and a lovely 18 year old, and I’m glad I did not take the easy route! As I write this, my kids are serving the needy: one in our community, and one on Skid Row. My youngest, a songwriter and worship leader, has recently recorded a song “See It Through Me” (shameless plug) in which all the proceeds benefit a foundation assisting families with children suffering life threatening illnesses. One has committed to helping an organization called Invisible Children, assisting kids in the war torn region of Uganda and the Congo.<br /> <br />As a bonus, staying at home has allowed me to become involved in their friends’ lives as well, and I am honored to be “Mamma B” to countless other incredible teens that frequent my home. I am many kids’ mom!</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>I.</p>
Staff
2018-10-30T17:58:00Z
Bonding with Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bonding-with-Dad/661803558928814695.html
2018-10-29T17:58:00Z
2018-10-29T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I'm not a mother or father, but I'm a daughter who took the time I spent with my father seriously. When I was a teenager, my dad drove me to and from youth group, and while he drove we talked - about boys, dating, school, whatever came up. As a result, my dad became someone I could turn to when I needed advice on something, and those moments kept me sane through some very difficult times later in life.</p>
<p>Those moments in the car gave us a bond beyond biology, because we were genuinely interested in each other's lives. That still holds true today, almost ten years later. I credit those moments we spent together just talking as the reason he and I have such a strong relationship. I treasure those moments more with each passing day, and I am so grateful to my dad for taking the time to talk and just be there for me.</p>
<p>If I am lucky enough to become a parent, I expect my husband to do the same for our children.</p>
<p>Amanda</p>
Staff
2018-10-29T17:58:00Z
The Love You Take
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Love-You-Take/-239544435668192129.html
2018-10-26T17:58:00Z
2018-10-26T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am 31 years old, I am my husband's girlfriend and working on being my future children's mother.</p>
<p>A few years ago, my best friend, Jessica, reintroduced me to you after years of despising you. As young teens, her dad would listen to your show daily and lecture us on being good girls - It drove us nuts. We considered ourselves feminists and saw your ways as old school - your show was holding women back, encouraging the idea women were the weaker gender and should live to serve their men. When I got married 2 years ago, we had a very rough start. My husband and I fought a lot, dealing with major issues in our relationship. Around that time, Jessica asked me if I'd listened to you recently. I was shocked. "You mean that terrible woman your dad used to listen to??" She encouraged me to listen to your radio show with different ears. We started talking about how we were treating our men and our minds opened to the idea that perhaps we had been wrong about your message. From there, I picked up "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and my world changed. I became a regular listener of your show. I picked up "Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships" and signed up for your newsletter. I told my mom, sister, aunts and husband all about you because I wanted everyone to read your books and see what I now see.</p>
<p>My relationship with my husband has dramatically changed. I know how to take care of my King... it is so easy. The love I get in return is indescribable. Now we are ready for a family and have started the process of buying a home, bringing us to a new obstacle - the Don't Be A Stay At Home Mom mentality. We both have great full time jobs but are applying for a home loan with only one salary - his. This is a big step because my current income is over a third of our household income, plus by quitting my job, I will be losing a large amount of unvested stock. Our lifestyle is about to go through a major change. Some of my friends and family think I am crazy to give that up. I've been encouraged to "put it in a spreadsheet" and "weigh out the opportunity cost" more than a handful of times. But then I think about my childhood, how even as my parents struggled for money, my mom was always there. She raised me as a baby and took on an in-home day care when my sister was born so even if she couldn't give us her full attention, at least she was the one raising us. I think about how lucky I am to have a husband who fully supports my wishes to raise our children and how blessed we are to have income we do to make this happen.</p>
<p>Dr. Laura, the greatest thing about your message is that it applies to ALL relationships: husband to wife, mother to child, sister to brother, best friend to best friend. The love you put into a relationship is the love you'll get out of it. Thank you for being such a role model in this way.</p>
<p>E.</p>
Staff
2018-10-26T17:58:00Z
7th Grade Boys Behavior
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/7th-Grade-Boys-Behavior/-819667064528620738.html
2018-10-25T17:58:00Z
2018-10-25T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I'm proud to say I am my kids' Mom. Unfortunately I must admit to spending some time in hiding over the past three years as my four precious sons navigate middle school. I have decided 7th grade boys are not completely human yet. My sons each have a rap sheet that when printed out, double spaced, takes up more than one sheet of paper. Crimes include taking a kite to school and flying it in the courtyard at break, writing on the bathroom tile with dry erase markers, taking their dog to first period, dropping their pants to tuck in their shirt, running to the billboard erected in front of the school and "faking" hitting their heads, falling to the ground and rolling in "pain", playing "ditch em" with the playground supervisor and bringing a water bottle to class (a gallon milk jug) . . . the list goes on and on.</p>
<p>The Vice-Principal knows my cell-phone number. She has called me laughing, crying and spitting angry. It seems my boys spend more time in detention than they do in class. Because I currently have three boys in middle school, I don't feel qualified to advise others. I've still got a year and a half to go.</p>
<p>In the meantime, my husband and I assign additional work assignments for discipline that may include washing windows, hoeing the garden, pulling weeds, moving rocks and spreading mulch. The boys are great workers, very physically fit from the additional work they do and our home and yard look great. If I had to give advice to others it would be . . . hang on tight and whatever you do, don't lose your sense of humor. I wouldn't trade anything for the blessing of being Mom to four boys. <br />I think my cell-phone is ringing! LOL</p>
<p>Christine</p>
Staff
2018-10-25T17:58:00Z
A No Nonsense Woman
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-No-Nonsense-Woman/-918462853942695460.html
2018-10-24T17:58:00Z
2018-10-24T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I was raised by a no nonsense woman. Life was simple for my mom. If you told the truth and stood up for what was right, all would go well for you. Many times as a child, I would tell my mom about an incidence. She would give me her best advice, to which I would reply "They will be mad." She would reply "They will just have to get glad." Hard words to swallow for a kid, but that was my mom, very straight forward.</p>
<p>Years past and I grew and had children of my own. I had 3 daughters. I raised my kids with the same approach to life. Tell the truth and be honest and all will be ok.</p>
<p>My mother died when my girls were small. I missed her no nonsense advice. There was no one in my life who could tell it like it was like my mom. Then one day shortly after we moved to L.A. in the very early '80s, I was searching for a radio station and there she was: My Mom on the radio. Her name was different and her voice not the same, but the comments and the same no nonsense approach to life. This lady's name was Dr. Laura…. It was pure joy on my part and I have been a loyal listener ever since. I would listen to Dr. Laura when I picked up the girls from school everyday. Yes I was a stay at home mom. I felt this was my number 1 job. The girls are grown now, but when one of them has a unique problem the other says "That sounds like a Dr. Laura call for sure." We all say, "Yes it does. What would Dr. Laura say for advice?"</p>
<p>I have learned so much from you. You has taught us about things like putting children first above all else, staying home with your children has great value, how to stand up to abortion, how the sexualization of young children is evil, how divorce HURTS kids most of all, how to treat our spouses and to pick well and treat kindly. Most of all you have inspired me to carry your thoughts out into my world and to the people I come in contact with; to go in to our community, help kids and talk the truth about the worlds around us. My parents are my true heroes in life, but next to them is you. You have carried on for years with sometimes not much more than criticism and yet you just keep going and going and going.</p>
<p>Thank you soooo much for staying on the air and tell people what they need to hear and not what they want to hear. You are loved by millions of listeners; they can't all be wrong. I am sure there are people who you have truly helped save their lives. I just wanted to tell you how you help us not so messed up people, who find it hard to rise to the top anymore, to do just that: Rise to the top and love the view. Thanks for all you do for all our mental health in a very crazy world.<br /><br />J.</p>
Staff
2018-10-24T17:58:00Z
Betrayed by Someone We Trusted
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Betrayed-by-Someone-We-Trusted/957786753997240465.html
2018-10-23T17:58:00Z
2018-10-23T17:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura</p>
<p>This is how your book, "<em>Surviving a Shark Attack (on Land)</em>" helped me. We had just been betrayed by someone we should have been able to trust. Shark is a good way to describe him. Betrayal is a good way to describe what he did:</p>
<p>Recently, my daughter had a horrible experience with one of her college professors. For an entire semester, he bullied, harassed and belittled her. It made her so nervous that she almost wanted to quit the program she was in with only one semester to go. My daughter submitted a complaint to the college. When the college asked the professor about it, the situation seemed to get worse. He made up facts and distorted partial truths like you said this type of person does. The other teachers seemed to look the other way. Maybe they were afraid of being next in the crosshairs. Not that I want to make excuses for them. Evil does persist because most people won’t stand up to it. We consulted an attorney about this professor and the school. The attorney told us that for $7500, we could sue but we would be better off putting the money toward tuition at another school. Why would we want her to still go to that college? That added more insult to injury. I’m still not sure whose side he was on. He charged me a lot for that advice. You were right that the legal and social systems seemed to lean over backward to protect this type of person. Betrayal does leave you stunned. It is overwhelming and demoralizing. I couldn’t even describe the feelings until I read your book. When you are a good person, betrayal is shocking. We purposely try not to have that type of person in our lives. Sometimes, they sneak in disguised as teachers or someone you should be able to trust. You trust that professors and colleges will have some sort of code of ethics or morals. There is no explanation for evil. The revenge for my daughter is, by transferring to another school, she will get her degree early.</p>
<p>C.</p>
Staff
2018-10-23T17:58:00Z
One Cannot Change Without the Other
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/One-Cannot-Change-Without-the-Other/-401783347368009283.html
2018-10-22T17:58:00Z
2018-10-22T17:58:00Z
<p><br />My husband and I have been married for 24 years. He is my hero and I am his girlfriend. Mothering my children is my main job after caring for my husband.</p>
<p>While attempting to support a struggling friend who was headed for divorce I read your book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. We had been through hard times and I found we had unknowingly followed your guidance on getting it back together. I have since given your book to many friends.</p>
<p>I recently told a struggling friend who wants her husband to change first, "I don't know how God takes a man who is doing things wrong and turns him into a whole new guy when his wife does right by him. But I know God does it, because I am sure I didn't do it all."</p>
<p>Thanks for getting the word out on how to be a great wife.</p>
<p>C.</p>
Staff
2018-10-22T17:58:00Z
Could the Tide Be Turning?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Could-the-Tide-Be-Turning/-492053860866182521.html
2018-10-19T17:58:00Z
2018-10-19T17:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My admiration for you reached new heights after I was attacked on a conservative website for saying children are better off when their mothers stay home. I know whereof I speak; my mother worked, and I found it difficult to deal with her absence. I shared that experience, and in response, another woman stated she had friends who felt they we better mothers when they worked. I asked her if those women had ever asked their children how they felt about it. At that point, a couple of women said children don't know what is best for them. Someone pointed out studies have shown children do better with stay at home mothers. The women dismissed those studies as meaningless. These women didn't care what scientific studies say, and they didn't care how the kids felt either; the only thing they cared about is what they wanted.</p>
<p>The other women on that site told me I was bitter and I had no right to say children are better off with stay at home mothers. They said I was projecting my ugliness onto others. I was starting to get discouraged, when a couple of people came to my defense.</p>
<p>Later, when I reviewed the conversation, I realized I received far more "likes" than my opponents did. So there is hope, but there wouldn't be if it weren't for you. Thank God for you, Dr Laura. Thank you for defending children and the women who want to care for them.</p>
<p>Judy</p>
Staff
2018-10-19T17:58:00Z
Preparing To Be A Wife And Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Preparing-To-Be-A-Wife-And-Mother/566010430266404725.html
2018-10-18T17:58:00Z
2018-10-18T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I read the email from the single mom who learned it was okay to be a wife and mother. It brought back some memories of when I was dating...</p>
<p>When I was 32 I had a blind date with a young lady of 20. That is all she wanted out of life, to be a wife and mother. I asked her where she was going to college. She wasn't. Further conversation revealed she had no use for higher education. She was working at a local thrift store, biding her time, waiting to meet the father of her children. That was when I set aside any interest I might have had in that young lady.</p>
<p>I've never had any problem with a woman wanting nothing but to be a wife and mother. But I always expected that whatever a person wants to become, and do, they should prepare themselves to be the best that they can be. Young women need to understand their choice of becoming a wife and mother doesn't relieve them of the responsibility to grow and mature as a person, and to prepare themselves to be a great wife and a wonderful loving mom. I believe a college education is a great way to grow up as a person and, depending on one's choice of school and major, it can be a great way to prepare one for being a mom.</p>
<p>I am not sure where or how one learns to be a great wife, other than listening to you.</p>
<p>Martin</p>
Staff
2018-10-18T17:58:00Z
A Caller's Playbook
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Callers-Playbook/-195702404415503370.html
2018-10-17T17:58:00Z
2018-10-17T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />If you call Dr. Laura, you must be prepared: <br /><br /></p>
<ul>
<li>Don't waste time explaining you're nervous or scared. </li>
<br />
<li>Skip "I know, but" "I feel like," "I guess" or "It's just..." </li>
<br />
<li>Answer her questions--this is a <strong>MUST</strong>. </li>
<br />
<li>If you say you're divorced, you must tell her WHY If you're playing the victim, then don't start to cry Never "talk over" the Doctor you've called. </li>
<br />
<li>If you keep interrupting, your progress is stalled! </li>
<br />
<li>Forget third person questions--just deal with you And dear Dr. Laura will explain what to do. </li>
<br />
<li>Saying you'll "try" is as lame as it gets Hang up and GET IT TO IT, before you forget! </li>
<br />
<li><strong>Be a good listener, no matter your strife And her answers will help us ALL improve our lives! </strong></li>
</ul>
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br />You are the best! <br /><br />Love xo Diana<br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2018-10-17T17:58:00Z
What I Want to be When I Grow Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-I-Want-to-be-When-I-Grow-Up/443787405541917027.html
2018-10-16T17:58:00Z
2018-10-16T17:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>When I was growing up, to earn my weekly allowance, my dad used to have me write an essay. One week, he assigned me to write about what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote a paper about how I wanted to be a housewife and stay-at-home mom. He gave me the paper back, and said it wasn't acceptable. He made me re-write it, choosing a "real career". Just to get my allowance, I wrote what he wanted; I knew he wanted me to be a lawyer as he was. But, I never forgot how mad that made me. By the way, when I had my kids, I did become a stay-at-home mom, and it has been the best thing I have ever done in my life. I have 2 fantastic children who reflect my (and my husband's) values.</p>
<p>You are the best Dr. Laura. Keep telling the truth,</p>
<p>J.<br />My Kids Mom too!</p>
Staff
2018-10-16T17:58:00Z
Focusing on my Boy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Focusing-on-my-Boy/-622286436127278560.html
2018-10-15T17:58:00Z
2018-10-15T17:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I remember having to do a report in school about what we wanted to be when we grew up. I always knew I wanted to be a wife and mom. But I never thought it was the ‘right’ answer. So I would make up something. I would say I wanted to be a lawyer or a librarian. I really just wanted to be a wife and mom. I wanted to cook and clean and do laundry. You helped me realize wanting to be a wife and mom was okay. In fact it was great.</p>
<p>Unfortunately I made some mistakes in life. I am a mom to a great 11 year old boy. But I have not been a wife. When my son was younger, about 3 years old, I was focused on dating and trying to meet a guy. I still wanted to be a wife, but I was forgetting I was a mom. You taught me to make my son my number one priority now. I stopped dating and started focusing on my son. We do homework together every night. We have dinner together every evening. We go to church together on Sundays. I go to every one of his baseball games and practices.</p>
<p>It has taken some time, but his father and I now get along great. I made a point to never speak badly about his father.</p>
<p>So many women tell me I need to take time for myself. I need to get a man. I need to go out on the weekends. I am so proud to tell them nothing makes me happier then when I am spending time with my son. And that is the truth!! I see these same women neglect their kids because they need ‘me time.’ They bring so many random men in and out of their children’s lives. I was on that same path at one point. But I thank God I started to listen to you. I am focused on my son and I know I am doing the right thing.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, for all you do for families.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>M.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2018-10-15T17:58:00Z
I So Admire My Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-So-Admire-My-Husband/-880766838083255807.html
2018-10-12T17:58:00Z
2018-10-12T17:58:00Z
<p>Do I have a MAN for a Husband? Yes, I do. We'll be married 31 years in February.<br /><br />His father and maternal grandmother did not approve of me as a prospective wife and did everything in their power to discredit and humiliate me. All because I had been previously married, had a daughter and was not an 18-year-old Catholic virgin. His mother, on the other hand, was one of the sweetest most loving people I have ever met in my life which is where my husband got his character. He disowned his father, who was truly evil, and his grandmother and has devoted his life to making me happy. <br /><br />As a result, I cannot do enough for him including reading The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands when he was about to retire. That book has helped me keep focused on the important stuff and ignore the petty. I also have to tell you my husband has brought me down from my high horse on numerous occasions by saying "<em>Now, now would Dr. Laura approve?</em>" That makes me laugh every time.</p>
<p>Thank you!</p>
<p>Sally</p>
Staff
2018-10-12T17:58:00Z
Easy to Love Him
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Easy-to-Love-Him/74013299941735656.html
2018-10-11T17:58:00Z
2018-10-11T17:58:00Z
<p><br />When I first met my husband, I said to myself, “What a goof!” Silly me, I fell in love. Now I laugh every day.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, for decades of wise counsel. Your radio show and books opened my eyes, ears, and heart. Over time I heeded to your marriage advice: choose wisely and treat kindly. When I married my husband, I married his family of 2 young adult children. When I said “I do,” I fully agreed to not having babies. I chose to invest in my husband, his son, and his daughter. I have had no regrets. Their love has blessed me. Of course, I took my time with my decision to marry and took pre-marital counseling with my husband. During this time I realized I didn't need to be married to be fulfilled. However, I chose to marry my best friend because I wanted to laugh, love, and grow with him. We just celebrated our eighth anniversary.</p>
<p>Our first three years were emotionally challenging. I cried a lot. It was during this time I read your book, “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.” Wow! It was amazing how quickly our lives moved in a positive motion once I changed my habits. You guided me to be quiet, listen well, and play more. I learned to hear how I was received no matter my intent. I silenced my fearful “what ifs." Then, I poured on the small showers of affection. My passion was food to my husband's being. Now, he eagerly moves mountains for me. Being married to my husband has made me a better person. I adore how easy it is to love him. Two years ago my husband's daughter and son said to me, “We like who our Dad is when he is with you.” My heart jumped for joy.</p>
<p>I am so grateful to be my husband's girlfriend. He is my Sunshine. He lights up my world and keeps me giggling.</p>
<p>M.</p>
Staff
2018-10-11T17:58:00Z
It Took A While to Sink In
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Took-A-While-to-Sink-In/-83024698932037157.html
2018-10-10T17:58:00Z
2018-10-10T17:58:00Z
<p><br />My life completely changed 8 years ago. I was married, had 2 children, a career that kept me in the office 9 hours a day, 5 days a week. While I was in my office I always listened to you. I had a wonderful Nanny raising my children, but when I would talk to my husband about staying at home with my kids, he would just laugh. I obviously was not going about this the correct way.</p>
<p>Then, one day I got a slap on the face. I found out my husband was having an affair with a married mother of 2 from my kids' elementary school. I was devastated. I wanted to work this out, he was my husband and the father of my children. One week later, I was laid off of my job of 12 years. One week after that I turned 40 (I thought that was going to be my highlight of the year). As it turned out, my husband wanted out. My kids were only 8 & 5.</p>
<p>We get along great now, he is on his 2nd divorce to yet another woman. I did not have the energy to put on a suit and a happy face to look for a job. Soooo, I started my own business from home! I have been able to work out of my house and be with my children. I feel God had a hand in this, knowing my kids would be better off having me home while their dad was gone. My oldest is going off to college next year and both are doing exceptional at school (an all-girls' high school).</p>
<p>I have learned from you and my own experience, one may be able to do it all, career, marriage, mother, but one cannot do them all well. My marriage fell apart. 8 years ago, I would cry and ask God to end my life. I now say he did end the life I had and gave me a better one. I have been able to be my own boss and be there for my daughters. I have not dated - I don't believe that is being a good role model, especially when raising girls.</p>
<p>I was proud of my college-bound daughter when I overheard her conversation about careers with her sister. My 14 year old was saying she does not want to be dependent on a man - but my 18 year old replied, "I'm ok with having a husband who can support me while I raise our children." Though I listened to you for years, I was not functioning as I should have. But now I am! Maybe after all those years it finally sunk in.</p>
<p>A.</p>
Staff
2018-10-10T17:58:00Z
A True Awakening
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-True-Awakening/11509270470532136.html
2018-10-09T17:58:00Z
2018-10-09T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I just want to thank you. I know I am late in reading your books "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” and “…Feeding of Marriage,” but I can honestly say better late than never.</p>
<p>It has been a rough road the past year for me and my family. I was going through what I call a "feminist phase" driven and fueled by negative friends and family as well as my own resentments and insecurities. I filed for divorce thinking it was the thing to do without even consulting my husband on how I was feeling. Long story short, my time being separated from him made me realize how stupid and wrong I had been and just how much our daughters need him home. I dismissed the divorce, we went to marriage counseling and he eventually moved back home.<br /> <br />I now try to spend every day showing him how much his slaying of dragons means to me and he is truly my hero. I still fight my insecurities on a daily basis but I am no longer constantly nagging him for the constant reassurance of his love and approval or resenting my position in the home as a stay at home mom.<br /> <br />Thank you Dr Laura for giving the gift of a true awakening...</p>
<p>Jane</p>
Staff
2018-10-09T17:58:00Z
11 Years Later
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/11-Years-Later/-874374728124719358.html
2018-10-08T17:58:00Z
2018-10-08T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I was 23 and stupid but smart enough to know I had to find a job to make some money before I started graduate school. At that job, the radio was set to your show. Thank God for that. I heard you say "you have to kiss a lot of toads before you find your prince". The quote is still in my Bible today, 11 years later.</p>
<p>I left that needy girl behind along with a bad relationship and a toxic guy. I found myself and because of that, found my prince. I completed Graduate school, got an excellent job in healthcare serving our nation's veterans and wounded warriors.</p>
<p>I have listened to you every day after work to keep my "girlfriend" skills fine-tuned. My husband and I have a beautiful baby girl and as I type this, I have just emailed my letter of resignation to a top-notch boss so I can now become My Kid's Mom - full time. Thank you, Dr. Laura. Without your advice, I know I would not have been shaped into the wise woman, wife, and mother I have come to be. Of all life's decisions I have made, the most difficult has been to put my career on the back burner. I work every day to improve the quality of life for our veterans of war and while this is of great need, ultimately, my daughter needs me more. I am certain without your mission, I would not have hit send on that email today.</p>
<p>From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I'll keep you posted on life as My Kid's Mom and My Husband's Girlfriend.</p>
<p>C.</p>
Staff
2018-10-08T17:58:00Z
Push Ups
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Push-Ups/704089758163732567.html
2018-10-05T17:58:00Z
2018-10-05T17:58:00Z
<p>I love your advice and have followed you for about 15 years. I have now been VERY happily married for 12 years and I know that is partly because of listening to you and taking the advice you provide every day. I am an attorney, my husband is an MBA Engineer from USC. <br /><br />Anyway, I want you to know I love the information you provide regarding fitness. It is hard with two dogs, two kids and a part-time career (the part-time aspect is also partly due to your influence) to keep fit when I would rather spend my free time with my kids. I LOVE the push-up suggestions. I am fit and just did 10, no problem. I will do another 10 before I go to bed. But I now know I have to do more to beat your little 70 year plus butt!! <br /><br />Keep going Dr. Laura!!</p>
<p><br />Denise</p>
Staff
2018-10-05T17:58:00Z
Adoption Works
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Adoption-Works/473286653164634368.html
2018-10-04T17:58:00Z
2018-10-04T17:58:00Z
<p>My husband and I are married forever and have two sons and a daughter.</p>
<p>As soon as my then 15-year-old daughter asked me what would make her period late, I knew she was pregnant. There was no boyfriend in sight. She had been sneaking out to see a boy she knew wasn't good enough to bring home. I was furious. I was beyond angry. I was just preparing to launch a nasty string of words condemning my daughter for the pregnancy when she stopped me with words of her own, "<em>It's okay. I'm going to place the baby for adoption.</em>" Well, I was still angry; however, to her credit, my daughter took excellent care of herself during her pregnancy. She missed only one day of school. She took on a part-time job. She worked with an agency and chose a young couple to raise her baby.</p>
<p>After she delivered this healthy baby, she was home for only three weeks before returning to school and work. Getting pregnant was certainly wrong; however, she made something very right from that. The baby is now three years old and absolutely cherished by his family. It feels so good to know that this family now exists where it did not before because of what my daughter did.</p>
<p>She is now in college, a fresh start, and has turned her life around. She made the best decision that could be made in that situation. Not a day goes by that I don't think about that child who has the most wonderful family. God willing, someday, when the time is right, my daughter will have a wonderful family too.</p>
<p>Please, Dr. Laura, keep speaking out for adoption. My daughter did the most loving thing she could do and for all of us. Babies and families are precious.</p>
<p>Susan</p>
Staff
2018-10-04T17:58:00Z
Timing IS Everything!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Timing-IS-Everything!/286312725041140569.html
2018-10-03T17:58:00Z
2018-10-03T17:58:00Z
<p>First off let me say I have always seemed to listen to you at the wrong times in my life. I listened 20 years ago and then for some reason I stopped. If I had been listening 17 years ago I would possibly not have married the woman I married, I chose wrong.</p>
<p>Then I started listening again for a few years, and then stopped again. If I had been listening 8 years ago, I would possibly not have gotten divorced, I would have fought for my marriage.</p>
<p>Fast forward 8 years and I am finally listening at the right time in my life. I am my kids' dad, I live a mile away from them and spend as much time as possible with them. I have put my personal life on hold until they are out of school, I did not feel it would be fair to them to involve them in another family and the headaches that come with trying to blend 2 families. Their mother unfortunately has not had the same commitment to them. She has had a parade of men through the years that have come into their lives and then had to live through the fallout when these men leave.</p>
<p>Recently, it came to my attention their mother has had them spending the night at the home of the most recent man. Their mother and I have been able to be civil, but when it comes to me calling her on anything she can get very combative. Let me say that in our marriage she was very emasculating and definitely wanted to be the man of the family, and to my detriment, I let her. DR. LAURA TO THE RESCUE!! I put on my big boy undies, "Manned Up" and confronted her tonight about not "shacking up" while she had the kids. Of course she got defensive and started trying to justify it. I explained she had 2 choices. Stop "shacking up" and everything would be fine, or not stop, and I would go to court and ask a judge to put a stop to it. I am sure the battle has just started. I will keep listening for my daily dose of encouragement from you and continue to fight for my kids. I have every confidence that if I keep listening and I am lucky enough one day to find another love, it will be done the right way -- the Dr. Laura way.</p>
<p>Thanks again,</p>
<p>Loren</p>
Staff
2018-10-03T17:58:00Z
Made Two Simple Changes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Made-Two-Simple-Changes/421759762781902332.html
2018-10-02T17:57:00Z
2018-10-02T17:57:00Z
<p>This morning my husband said, "<em>I'm so lucky I have the best wife in the world!</em>" Dr. Laura, we are not newlyweds but have been married 35 years.</p>
<p>We always had a good marriage, but five years ago I read your book, <em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>. I made a vow at that time to do two things: I would never again say no to sex, and I would ban any negative talk about my husband from my speech or thoughts (the last being the harder part). I realized how I had gotten in the habit of thinking negative things: Why doesn't he do it the right way? Why can't he just get to the point? etc.</p>
<p>So, fast forward to today and I can truly say our marriage is stupendous, excellent, wonderful! These were simple things any woman can do, even if you don't feel like making the effort. Just do it! The pay off is definitely worth it. And you will find your love for the wonderful man you chose deepens into the best kind of life partnership anyone could wish for. So glad I read your book. Thank you.</p>
<p>P.</p>
Staff
2018-10-02T17:57:00Z
Listen Up Young Women!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Listen-Up-Young-Women!/-72676488598243713.html
2018-10-01T17:58:00Z
2018-10-01T17:58:00Z
<p>If anyone could do 10 things to mess up her life, I have done more than that. I got married too young postponing my education, had babies right away, mismanaged money, divorced, remarried. You name it, I did it. I have so many regrets: I worked from day one as an executive assistant. I finally got my college degree at age 40, but it doesn't seem to have given me any advantages. I am very good at what I do and I receive a lot of praise for my work, but no real advancement. I work around incredibly accomplished women and I can't help but think what could have been for me.</p>
<p>However, my biggest regret is I put my children through day care, an absent father, an indifferent stepfather, the hell of my bad marriage and divorce, not to mention my exhaustion and stress, just to name a few. We were on our own the last few years of their high school and it was infinitely better and we got along so well and became very close. Most of the time, I am paralyzed by the guilt of what I put them through. I missed so much of their young lives while I worked at dead-end jobs and focused my attention on the wrong man trying desperately to get him to love me.</p>
<p>My sons are incredible young men, husbands and fathers. I have no doubt they love me and they have expressed they believe I did the best I could with bad circumstances. Still, I can't forgive myself and the pain is excruciating.</p>
<p>Eileen</p>
Staff
2018-10-01T17:58:00Z
It Took A While to Sink In
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Took-A-While-to-Sink-In/-284159759040858031.html
2018-09-28T17:58:00Z
2018-09-28T17:58:00Z
<p>My life completely changed 8 years ago. I was married, had 2 children, a career that kept me in the office 9 hours a day, 5 days a week. While I was in my office I always listened to you. I had a wonderful Nanny raising my children, but when I would talk to my husband about staying at home with my kids, he would just laugh. I obviously was not going about this the correct way.</p>
<p>Then, one day I got a slap on the face. I found out my husband was having an affair with a married mother of 2 from my kids' elementary school. I was devastated. I wanted to work this out, he was my husband and the father of my children. One week later, I was laid off of my job of 12 years. One week after that I turned 40 (I thought that was going to be my highlight of the year). As it turned out, my husband wanted out. My kids were only 8 & 5.</p>
<p>We get along great now, he is on his 2nd divorce to yet another woman. I did not have the energy to put on a suit and a happy face to look for a job. Soooo, I started my own business from home! I have been able to work out of my house and be with my children. I feel God had a hand in this, knowing my kids would be better off having me home while their dad was gone. My oldest is going off to college next year and both are doing exceptional at school (an all girls' high school).</p>
<p>I have learned from you and my own experience, one may be able to do it all, career, marriage, mother, but one cannot do them all well. My marriage fell apart. 8 years ago, I would cry and ask God to end my life. I now say he did end the life I had and gave me a better one. I have been able to be my own boss and be there for my daughters. I have not dated - I don't believe that is being a good role model, especially when raising girls.</p>
<p>I was proud of my college bound daughter when I overheard her conversation about careers with her sister. My 14 year old was saying she does not want to be dependent on a man - but my 18 year old replied, "I'm ok with having a husband who can support me while I raise our children." Though I listened to you for years, I was not functioning as I should have. But now I am! Maybe after all those years it finally sunk in.</p>
<p>A.</p>
Staff
2018-09-28T17:58:00Z
I Have to Get Creative to Exercise
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Have-to-Get-Creative-to-Exercise/-289163861280332056.html
2018-09-27T17:58:00Z
2018-09-27T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I have enjoyed the encouragement of the other e-mails on making time to exercise. I thought I'd throw out a few of my own. Maybe it will get others thinking creatively.</p>
<p>I am a farmer and mother of 4 "kids"...19-25. I homeschooled when they were very young. I had to wake up early to walk/run with the dog for exercise and sanity while my husband was still in the house. Later, we all swam so I could get a nap after they were worn out! These days, they are in college classes or working. I have more freedom, but also more farm work. During harvest time, I have to trade swimming for spreading manure on the pastures. I just work to keep my heart rate up. I also found that when possible, I plan ahead to bike to places. I trade the time I would have had to drive for part of my workout. That way I only have to find maybe 25 minutes to get an hour's worth of workout! Nice trade, and it saves me fuel!</p>
<p>Oh, yea, and I am 53. I have had 2 knee surgeries from injuries, so biking is easier on my joints. I am so grateful that I can move and balance!</p>
<p>Sonja</p>
Staff
2018-09-27T17:58:00Z
My Vows to My Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Vows-to-My-Husband/504967318223684119.html
2018-09-26T17:58:00Z
2018-09-26T17:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>First, thank you for changing my views on marriage. I was a firm believer in the concept of common law marriages prior to listening to your show. After hearing show after show about women shacking up with boyfriends and most importantly, how this affects children when they are born into these situations... I (or you rather) changed my mind!</p>
<p>I am writing you today to tell you I have chosen wisely and last week my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years and I had our wedding. I also wanted to share my personal vows I read to my husband on our wedding day.</p>
<p>Thank you for your guidance and for changing our lives.<br />-Kristie</p>
<p>My vows to my husband...</p>
<p>Completed by your love, I'm the woman I longed to be<br />I feel I've known you always, in my deepest memory</p>
<p>You've cared for me in sickness, shared my highest of all highs<br />You stand strong with me so willingly, as challenges arise</p>
<p>You make it clear the blessing, that all hardships can provide<br />If the only blessing to be found, is that you are by my side</p>
<p>I look forward to living young and growing old, If only it's with you<br />Discovering the joys of life, of moments old and new</p>
<p>I promise to love you always, in strife and times of woe<br />To always be your girlfriend, even as your Mrs. Boe</p>
<p>I promise to prove to you, each day of our married life<br />That you did the right thing, in making me your wife</p>
Staff
2018-09-26T17:58:00Z
Fighting Addiction
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fighting-Addiction/536693652855646966.html
2018-09-25T17:58:00Z
2018-09-25T17:58:00Z
<p><br />My husband gave me permission to tell this story.</p>
<p>My husband served in the Army and while in Vietnam, he became addicted to heroin. He was a door-gunner on a helicopter. The camp's drug dealer was my husband's bunk mate. (I'm sure that's not what you call his barrack - hooch maybe??) Anyway, every time a deal went down the dealer gave everyone in the room a sample. Let's just say my husband got lots of samples on a regular basis.</p>
<p>He was getting close to being discharged and sent back to the States. He happened to read a book called "Needle Park" (heard they made a movie from the book). What struck him was these addicts would do anything (slash their wrists and pour the powder into their veins if they hadn't been able to shoot up when the "needed" it) and they would give up everything (their families, wives, kids) to get high. He said he decided right there to stop. He'd been doing heroin for 8 months. He quit cold turkey. He got very sick for a week. And then it was over! That was the end of his heroin addiction. He's a very strong man - but I wouldn't recommend this method.</p>
<p>There is an interesting twist. As of a few months ago my husband became addicted to Morphine. He was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer which is wrapped around his spine and aorta (the tumor actually fractured his spine). Oddly, his oncologist believes its Agent Orange related. He was on about 300 mg of morphine a day and at the beginning of January decided he felt the chemo was working (after his 2nd chemo treatment) and wanted to drive again. So you guessed it, he quit cold turkey! Didn't go so well this time! He spent 4 days in the hospital. They had to actually inject him with morphine to stop the throwing up and stabilize him. He couldn't eat for a week either. Anyway, they gave him a formula to reduce his morphine (he's down to 60 from 300) but he now realizes he may need to wait until he finishes his chemo and deals with the fractured spine.</p>
<p>But I wanted to say.... I am really proud of him! I'm proud of his service to our country (he received several medals for flying into combat to rescue fellow soldiers). I'm proud he decided he didn't want to let a substance control him and quit. And proud he is the most positive chemo patient and is just going to do what it takes to get well. He often says, "Why should I feel sorry for myself? I am just one of thousands battling this disease!" And I am confident that after his chemo and fractured spine is resolved.... he'll be morphine free.</p>
<p>Beverly</p>
Staff
2018-09-25T17:58:00Z
A Lost Courtesy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Lost-Courtesy/914685081117017175.html
2018-09-24T17:58:00Z
2018-09-24T17:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Once on your show, you asked a caller to "name three children who write thank you notes." I can name two: My children.</p>
<p>Thank you notes were very important in my house growing up and I actually enjoyed writing them. I have instilled this in my own children. I have always explained to them people want to be thanked for their gifts and they should never just expect presents. Many people also spend their precious time picking out gifts and being thankful for that is so very important.</p>
<p>I have come up against some criticism from my husband's family for this. My mother-in-law actually told me NOT to send thank you notes because as I was told, "we do not do that in our family". My response was she would continue to receive them because we do send thank you notes in our family. I did notice we started to receive thank you notes every once in awhile from my father-in-law and sometimes from nieces and nephews.</p>
<p>Regardless, the best lesson was learned when a co-worker offered their Yankee seats to my family one night as they were a season ticket holder and couldn't use them. I took the tickets because my daughter, about 8 at the time was a huge fan and had never been to a game. After the game I had her write a heartfelt thank you note. I had her tell the gentlemen what she loved about the stadium and how much going to the game meant to her. She wrote a beautiful note telling him about how she saw Alex Rodriguez, her favorite Yankee hit a homerun. She also drew an adorable picture. Off the note went. About two weeks later a package arrived for her. Inside was an autographed Alex Rodriquez picture and some candy and microwave popcorn for my daughter to eat while watching the upcoming playoff games. This man was so impressed by her letter he actually purchased the picture and then went to a game early to get the autograph for her and then framed it. My daughter really learned how much people like to be appreciated for what they do for others. Of course, another thank you note was quickly sent.</p>
<p>And I never have to ask her twice to send one to anyone.</p>
<p>Regards,</p>
<p>Kathy</p>
Staff
2018-09-24T17:58:00Z
Ten Signs of Real Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ten-Signs-of-Real-Love/-552180029526253692.html
2018-09-21T17:58:00Z
2018-09-21T17:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr Laura,<br /><br />I finished reading your new book on the kindle and loved it...I'm about a year behind in podcasts (we listen for an hour a day as we drive, so busy now that we are expecting baby #2), but we are huge fans. I'm already planning to call in on Thanksgiving with my corny jokes (I've been wanting to for years but always feel too shy at the last minute...this year I'm going to do it!)<br /><br />I wrote a blog post inspired by my marriage about signs of real love I hoped would help others (and is inspired by you in a lot of ways), I thought you might enjoy it: <a href="http://penelopesoasis.com/2011/ten-signs-of-real-love.html" target="_blank">http://penelopesoasis.com/2011/ten-signs-of-real-love.html</a><br /><br />Thank you again for everything you do, I am soooo glad you went to Sirius (siriusly -wink)<br /><br />Penelope</p>
Staff
2018-09-21T17:58:00Z
Teen Mistakes...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teen-Mistakes.../22181444725457503.html
2018-09-20T17:58:00Z
2018-09-20T17:58:00Z
<blockquote>
<p><br />The question isn't "what are we going to do," the question is "what aren't we going to do?"<br /> - Ferris, from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"</p>
</blockquote>
<p><br />That was exactly the problem. What wouldn't I do? I was part of a huge group of kids that hung out "around". We ran the streets. We'd meet by the church, or by the canal or the back of the park, or just ride our bikes aimlessly looking for our others friends.</p>
<p>We learned about drinking and drugs on the street. One of the girls had a big brother who'd always get us 2-liter bottles of wine coolers. We each had one to ourselves. We smoked pot too and a few times I remember it being laced with heroin or cocaine. A boyfriend of mine, then, dealt crack. He was 16. I drove him to the bad neighborhoods to sell and pick up. A couple of older boys who were brothers dealt pot. I was 16 and they took me with them so I could drive them to a neighboring state to pick up more. They had their driver licenses suspended, not sure why.</p>
<p>Sex was another lesson I wish I hadn't learned from this crowd of misfits. It started with a friend who was 14 too, and she told me about doing it with some guy. A week later she introduced me and told me I could do it with him too. I did. I had many boys in the next few years to follow and kept a list. My best friends did the same thing.</p>
<p>I wish I'd known about keeping myself clean then, mind, body, and soul. When I finally grew up and learned about morality, the regret started to set in. What had I done to myself? What a mess I was. I still feel deep remorse for that little girl of 14 who let herself be used for others to have pleasure. Who just went along because it seemed fun at the time. I really was a good girl, just lost. I think that's why God has been able to change my heart so easily. (tears.)</p>
<p>Now my goal is to reach kids so they don't do the same thing. I am a substitute teacher at a middle school and I try to encourage the kids in positive ways when I'm there. I asked a class last week during a discussion if they knew what the word "Morality" meant....cricket sounds could be heard. There is a lot of work to be done with today's youth.</p>
<p>PLEASE KEEP MY STORY ANONYMOUS. I'm not sure how much of my own story to share with the kids while I'm trying to encourage them and let them know I totally understand how they feel and I've been there/done that.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2018-09-20T17:58:00Z
Great-Grandma Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Great-Grandma-Love/-618679070359518441.html
2018-09-19T17:58:00Z
2018-09-19T17:58:00Z
<p><br />If I could do anything today it would be to have my mother back for just one day. Mother has dementia and her behavior is very erratic now -- she doesn't always recognize people. Her physical capabilities are pretty much gone and just hugging can cause pain even though she never refuses one. <br /><br />I would love to have her back to share my wonderful grandchildren with her. And have them experience the same love and affection that I did. I would like to see her read to them a wonderful story, or bake cookies with them and spoil them in a way that only Great-Grandma can! To give them special Great-Grandma memories that would last throughout their lifetime. To let them know her and her to know them. Just 24 hours of Great-Grandma love!</p>
<p>Mary</p>
Staff
2018-09-19T17:58:00Z
Talking Kindly and Respectfully
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Talking-Kindly-and-Respectfully/420325557843235316.html
2018-09-18T17:52:00Z
2018-09-18T17:52:00Z
<p><br />'Backtalk' or 'sassing back' at our home is rewarded with work. The more the arguing and sassing, the more jobs get piled on. If jobs are not completed, privileges are revoked. Period. Our children have learned it is NOT WORTH IT because we follow through. If they have time to be nasty, they have time to work. If they are pleasant and respectful, they are treated pleasantly and respectfully.</p>
<p>My husband and I also use kind verbiage towards each other, as children often model parents' behavior.</p>
<p>Another thing that has greatly helped our family is eliminating TV shows which, in the name of "comedy", promote disrespectful behavior towards parents, sarcasm, name-calling, and so forth. I have observed children who are exposed to these shows are adopting the behaviors, because they see them as "acceptable". Nothing could be further from the truth. In real life, when people talk like that, no one laughs. No one thinks it's funny. Feelings are hurt, pain is caused, and relationships are damaged. REAL relationships are based on mutual respect and love for each other.</p>
<p>Debbie</p>
Staff
2018-09-18T17:52:00Z
Something to Look Forward to On the Long Ride Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Something-to-Look-Forward-to-On-the-Long-Ride-Home/-978051529948888848.html
2018-09-17T17:58:00Z
2018-09-17T17:58:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Tomorrow will be six months since my husband had an acute stroke in his sleep. He now is in hospice at the Veterans' Care Center. My husband is a disabled veteran, a good family man, a good neighbor, and a provider. We met in 1976 and married in 1978. My husband suffered severe PTSD and complete hearing loss after serving as a helicopter pilot in Viet Nam. We were not blessed with children. The PTSD caused us to divorce... But, we remarried after twenty years. (I went on to earn a doctorate and to devote my life to teaching. My husband went on to work successfully in the aerospace industry.)</p>
<p>Long story short--My sweetheart came back into my life when I had cancer, and we remarried. Now, I am helping him. Since remarrying my husband, my life has been better than I could ever have imagined. We both have been happy and successful, but during the past years of our marriage, we have been able to give each other the love and care we missed when we were young. We never found anyone else. He is my heart. I believe God has a plan and his plan was for us to find each other again so we would be there for each other.</p>
<p>Over the past six months, I have commuted one hour before and after work to visit my husband. He requires skilled nursing so he can not stay at home. People tell me I should not do this and that it is "wearing me out," but I have to see him because I miss him so much. We have had so many struggles over the past six months, but that is another story.</p>
<p>The point of this email is that each afternoon on my way home I listen to your radio show. I agree and laugh with you. I relate to you and am so thankful you are there to give advice to so many young people (as I often do as a department chair). Your show is part of my day and something I look forward to on the hour long ride home after being with my sweetheart. Thank you and thank you for affirming many of my beliefs.</p>
<p>Sharran</p>
Staff
2018-09-17T17:58:00Z
Remember He's a Man, Not a Woman
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Remember-Hes-a-Man,-Not-a-Woman/-539539439979583522.html
2018-09-14T17:58:00Z
2018-09-14T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I am 30 years old, married to a wonderful man with three children ages 6, 5 and 1. My father-in-law gave me your book, "<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>," almost 8 years ago for Christmas. As a young, naive woman, I was offended he thought that was a good idea. I put it on the shelf and never read it.</p>
<p>My husband and I recently started to go down a road I thought we never would. I have prayed and prayed for the wisdom God needed me to have in order to restore my marriage. About four days ago, I went to the shelf and started to thumb through your book. Low and behold, God's plan was at my fingertips the whole time. Between my daily devotions and the knowledge I have found in your book, I feel like a new woman. My husband is happy again and I in return am happier than I have been in a long time. I know what you're saying...that it's only been four days since you start to transform your thinking! But it's true, when I stopped wanting my husband to think like a WOMAN and I was NICE to him on a daily basis and loved him the way I should, life completely changed!!! I have been neglecting him so much in the last eight years, it devastates me.</p>
<p>I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being so straightforward and cutting through all the crap. I needed a good butt chewing and I got it. I know we have a lot of work to do to keep our marriage strong but I have made a promise to myself: I will take it one day at a time and do everything I can to keep things in perspective and remember he's a man, NOT A WOMAN!!</p>
<p>Thank you for everything!</p>
<p>Brittany</p>
Staff
2018-09-14T17:58:00Z
One Activity at a Time
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/One-Activity-at-a-Time/-306808009312376447.html
2018-09-13T17:58:00Z
2018-09-13T17:58:00Z
<p><br />My mom (who had been a first grade teacher before I was born and then a stay at home mom) had a good rule regarding after school activities: my sisters and I were only allowed to participate in one after school activity at a time. We did not lack in trying new things. I think I did everything! I just didn't do it all at the same time. Maybe piano lessons overlapped, and once I was chosen to participate in drawing lessons at a college while I was still on Drill Team (though that proved to be too much).</p>
<p>I adopted that rule with my own children too. Why? Because then they have down time to be creative, to help around the house (kids these days do not learn how to cook and clean!!!), to participate in other sibling's games sometimes and basically TO GET EVERYONE TO THE DINNER TABLE EVERY NIGHT TOGETHER! That is my number one goal and it's working.</p>
<p>My kids are in 8th and 9th grades and we are a very close family who does spend quality time together. My kids have time to do their homework and still time to pursue their own interests. They don't need to be scheduled and "entertained" by someone else all the time! Unfortunately other friends' parents don't do this so it's really hard for my kid to find time with their friends. It's sort of ridiculous! I really don't think the other moms cook like I do. I'm big on nourishing nutritional meals because these kids are growing plus it keeps their hormone levels more stable (and happy) to eat good home cooked food!</p>
<p>And Mom isn't crazy driving around all the time... Happy Momma, Happy Family!!</p>
<p>Bethany</p>
Staff
2018-09-13T17:58:00Z
Hanging Up My Ego
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hanging-Up-My-Ego/-753406879489503274.html
2018-09-12T17:58:00Z
2018-09-12T17:58:00Z
<p><br />The #1 biggest and hardest part about being a SAHM is that darned ego. I thought it would be easy to hang it up on the door because it would be replaced by buckets of warm fuzzies and the complete inner satisfaction that I am doing a job that know one can do better than me.</p>
<p>Pause...just had to stop my boy from head bucking his sister.</p>
<p>There is a little of that, but on a scale of 1 to 10 it is usually a 2 instead of the premeditated 10. That is because I do lose my temper when that child will not take his nap (which he hasn't done since he was born) and I really wonder at times if maybe some one else could do better than me.</p>
<p>Pause...just had to keep sister from being smothered with a rattle.</p>
<p>And there is this consensus around adults that you should be able to control your children. If they don't behave, then just discipline them! How dare they bang the glass doors to the office building when coming to pick up father from work, after mother has been doing the laundry at the laundry mat while trying to keep her toddler from running into the street for the past 3 hours... And if you do discipline them, better stick with weak time outs because if the neighbor sees you spank or yell at your kid they will call the cops on you.</p>
<p>Pause…to look at the airplane and keep the baby from being rocked to death.</p>
<p>Okay, back to the ego issue. So it's a lonely afternoon. I am looking at my house which has been cleaned several times but looks like a complete disaster. And the thought comes to me...what if I was single. What if I was still pursuing my career as an amazing musician? Then I wouldn't know how horrible of a person I really am that being a mother has taught me to know about myself. I would still think I was amazing.</p>
<p>I can't help but hear my neighbor practicing singing. She is a professional. What I always wanted to be. And I glance at my flute which hasn't been pulled out since my 3 month old was born. I thought I could keep up my skills as a mother, but I can't when pulling out the instrument could result in it being destroyed! And then there is my other neighbor who is also a professional musician and always has amazing stories to tell about her career. Come on! How can that not pull my heart strings? I can just hear the devil angel on my shoulder, "Just look who they are...and just look at you and your dirty house."</p>
<p>Oh well, time to get back to cleaning, enough complaining. Because I know there are no egos in heaven. Maybe I am still amazing after all.</p>
<p>Pause... to play with a jump rope.</p>
<p>Julie</p>
Staff
2018-09-12T17:58:00Z
Parenting with Authority
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parenting-with-Authority/-500059297760399480.html
2018-09-11T17:58:00Z
2018-09-11T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I work at a charter school and the biggest problem I see is the parents. Kids are always kids, but parents are spoiled brats compared to kids. They want convenience, they want it their way, and they want it now. They literally want the school to raise and discipline their kids for them so they can be the fun mom that feeds them junk and lets then play video games. But you better raise their kids the way they want you to or watch out!</p>
<p>I also think our society has been taught to see All authority as The Man, and fear of punishment for showing any authority like disciplining your kids in public. Even on social websites, I see women apologizing for having a great idea for a craft, and using the obligatory "<em>It may not be right for you, but it works for me</em>" for a recipe or craft!!</p>
<p>At my school, children love to work, they love accomplishment, they love boundaries. It is natural to them. It is the parents who teach them otherwise.</p>
<p>Keep up the good fight, Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>Rebekah</p>
Staff
2018-09-11T17:58:00Z
Taking Care of Each Other
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-Care-of-Each-Other/826776932523130767.html
2018-09-10T17:58:00Z
2018-09-10T17:58:00Z
<br />My 86-year-old dad passed away 5 years ago. My mom lived almost 100 miles from me and she said she didn't want me to have to come visit her every weekend so she would just move in with me. I loved the idea because I thought I would be able to take care of her.<br /><br />Well, it's turned out to be the other way around. My 88-year-old momma has me so spoiled. She has supper ready every night when I get home from work, a glass of ice in the freezer, and my Diet Pepsi sitting on the kitchen table. She makes homemade noodles and freezes them because that is one request my kids and grandkids always make when we have any type of family get together. She cans tomatoes out of our garden (last year it was over 90 pints).<br /><br />Momma has told me more than once that if she ever gets to the point that she cannot take care of herself, for me to put her in a nursing home because she does not want me to quit my job. She will take her walker in our kitchen and do laps around the kitchen for exercise because she says she sure doesn't want to be an invalid! My momma is one-of-a-kind and she is loved by so many. The only REAL problem she has is she is almost deaf - even with the help of a hearing aid. We have a dry erase board by our chair and if she can't understand the words we are saying, we write down what we are trying to tell her. Even my little grandkids do this now. They want to make sure MiMi knows what they are talking about.<br /><br />I could go on and on about my sweet momma but you wouldn't have enough time to read about her. We just love her sooooo much.<br /><br /><br />Pam<br /><br />P.S. My daddy was the same way. They were married for 63 years when Daddy passed away. They were a one-of-a-kind couple too. That's a whole other story.
Staff
2018-09-10T17:58:00Z
Helping My Kids With Homework
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Helping-My-Kids-With-Homework/814896970082551070.html
2018-09-07T17:59:00Z
2018-09-07T17:59:00Z
<p><br />I like my children to have a snack and relax a bit before diving into homework after school. I usually make them something pretty healthy and sit and talk with them when they come home. On the advice of a smarter woman than me, I make sure I am not distracted by emails, Facebook or the telephone. Electronics are turned off and I give them my undivided attention. We discuss whatever they want to talk about, usually their day at school, but not always. I don't set a timer, but within an hour of getting home they are usually ready to start their homework. If they need help organizing their time, we go over what's due soonest, what task can be accomplished quickest and what tests or quizzes are coming up soon for which they need to start preparing. I also discuss their projects with them and have them bounce their ideas off of me. I might give a few suggestions or ask them questions that get them thinking a bit deeper on their topics.</p>
<p>Whenever they feel completely overwhelmed, I try to calm them down and I help them strategize their time. By staying calm and reassuring them that the work can and will get done, they calm down and relax.</p>
<p>This spring my youngest had trouble with getting all her work done and her grades plummeted immediately following her Bat Mitzvah. We didn't get angry with her, we reassured her she could and would do better and we were there to help her. We made a rule there was not going to be any TV or computer during the school week (Sunday night through Friday afternoon - Not just for her, but for the whole family. Within a few weeks she raised all her grades, my husband and I were better read and my eldest child got a ton of work done ahead of time for high school. I think we're going to start this practice up again come September. My daughter actually thanked me for making this rule.</p>
<p>We also make sure our kids take advantage of before and after school extra help. I guess we're very fortunate our school district offers plenty of extra help and teachers are insistent that children take advantage of it.</p>
<p>Margaret</p>
Staff
2018-09-07T17:59:00Z
Building Your Man's Confidence
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Building-Your-Mans-Confidence/-289088533734768109.html
2018-09-06T17:58:00Z
2018-09-06T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I have been married to a good man for a decade. He's a hard worker. He's a loving dad. He's a great lover, and an even better friend. But he and I were getting into the same fight every other month from the time our first child was born and I had a Mommy hat put on my head. His claim: "I don't feel desired by you."</p>
<p>I do everything for everyone, including my husband. I serve him when I want to, when I don't want to, and every time in between. So, it always drove me nuts when he said he didn't feel like I desired him. I'd angrily ask, "Were you even counting the times we had sex last week?!" I was at a loss as to why he was feeling undesired by me when I was sexually responsive, and serving him constantly. It finally got to yesterday when I said I don't see the point in trying to make him feel desired anymore. If I try my hardest, he doesn't feel desired. Well, if I didn't try at all, the result would be the same. He wouldn't feel desired. So, why put in the effort?</p>
<p>He saw how he was being high maintenance and clingy. We had a really great heart-to-heart and got down to the source of the problem. When I chose this wonderful man as my husband, he was self confident. But so many trials have happened in our married life, his confidence had been shattered. He was relying on me for his stability and sense of self worth. BUT I had children to care for, a house to clean, homeschooling for our special needs child, school runs and parent volunteer projects for our other kids, plus me going back to school. I was giving my husband attention, serving him, loving him, but I had so much going on in my life he felt all those other things were competing for my attention.</p>
<p>So, when he realized he was depending on me for his sense of self worth, rather than looking to himself and his own real worth, he realized why I was so tired. He's going to look for counseling and going to try to value me for more than the way I make him feel.</p>
<p>I saw too, that my job, as his wife, is to be his cheerleader. I can serve him, be his lover, his friend, but sometimes in a man's life he needs someone to think he is successful, desirable, and to admire his confidence even if it isn't as strong as you'd like. He needs someone to cheer for him, not because he is winning, but because he is able to make a comeback. He needs someone to believe in him when he doesn't believe in himself.</p>
<p>It feels like a ton of bricks has been lifted from our relationship. I am so grateful we took the time to get to the bottom of the nagging and find the source.</p>
<p>C.</p>
Staff
2018-09-06T17:58:00Z
Take Time to Grow Up First
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Take-Time-to-Grow-Up-First/-544250374986674557.html
2018-09-05T17:58:00Z
2018-09-05T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura -</p>
<p>I saw in our local paper last evening a couple, who my kids had grown up knowing, had gotten a divorce. They have two school-age kids who are approx. 8-10 years old. PLEASE keep pounding it into people's heads they need to really KNOW their prospective partners - take time to grow up before you commit, and never, never ignore red flags about the other person! Also, please keep emphasizing the participants in a really solid marriage never stop being their spouse's boyfriend or girlfriend. That relationship is the cement in a marriage, and good kids and happy parents are the product.</p>
<p>Can you imagine this couple (they are both in their late 30's) telling their kids "<em>Happy Birthday - and by the way, we're splitting up the family?</em>" It breaks my heart!</p>
<p>Ann</p>
Staff
2018-09-05T17:58:00Z
Stuck By Me Through Thick and Thin
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stuck-By-Me-Through-Thick-and-Thin/997027868745718403.html
2018-09-04T17:58:00Z
2018-09-04T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I am a 34-year-old married female, mother of 10-year-old twin girls.</p>
<p>I was overweight all of my childhood and young adult life. I wanted to get married young and have kids young and I knew being heavy that wouldn't happen. So I lost 90 lbs and found myself a husband.</p>
<p>I got married at 23 and had my kids right away and within two years of marriage, I packed on 125 lbs (partly due to thyroid problems) but mostly due to poor eating habits and lack of exercise. I was almost unrecognizable. The funny part is it didn't affect my relationship with my husband at all. He seemed to be just as affectionate at my smallest and at my biggest. I really learned that he loved ME. He literally stuck by me through thick and thin. I have since lost that 125 lbs and things haven't changed at all between us.</p>
<p>What did change was me. I was extremely embarrassed to be seen, I never wanted to leave the house, I wore big clothes to hide but I always looked clean and presentable (well groomed). I would never go to any functions of my husband's (work Christmas parties, get-togethers, etc) because I was so embarrassed for him to have a huge wife...but he always wanted me to go.</p>
<p>Whenever I get frustrated with my husband I think back about how he treated me great and stuck by me through my ups and downs with weight loss/weight gain. I'm very lucky to have him.</p>
<p>By the way, I read your book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands about 3 years ago and it changed my marriage completely. I always thought our bickering was his fault until I read your book and realized I was the problem not him. I changed completely and things have been fantastic for years. He often thanks me for reading that book. I realized it was the way I spoke to him that was creating conflict. I made most of my friends read your book too and they all same the same thing.</p>
<p>Thanks for your help!</p>
<p>Casey</p>
Staff
2018-09-04T17:58:00Z
A Different Act of Chivalry
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Different-Act-of-Chivalry/-878895920641945878.html
2018-08-31T17:58:00Z
2018-08-31T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>We have been married for 29 years and I have never forgotten my love's acts of chivalry when I was pregnant with our second child. I was ordered to bed because of hyperemesis (can't stop throwing up). Night or day, my knight would rush ahead of me to the toilet to wipe it down before I got there! I was hyper-sensitive to odors and since I was already throwing up, he didn't want me to have to inhale any toilet smells.</p>
<p>While other wives brag about their men opening doors for them, I just smile and hold in my heart what my man did for me. It's hard to top!</p>
<p>Blessed with Will (my husband's name).</p>
Staff
2018-08-31T17:58:00Z
I Have a New Attitude
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Have-a-New-Attitude/4136418412465021.html
2018-08-30T17:58:00Z
2018-08-30T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I just want to thank you for your books. I just read The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands... And In Praise of Stay at Home Moms... And Parenthood by Proxy.</p>
<p>Dr. Laura, I've been at home with my 8-month-old since he was born. I felt so stupid about it, given that everyone looks at this with shame and pressures me to work, including both my parents, sister, and husband. My dad said it was imperative for me to find employment immediately. Right now we're surviving fine with my husband's teacher salary.</p>
<p>I just want to say thank you!!!! Because you are the first person I know who accepts moms like us. I really thought I was alone. I was even embarrassed to be seen with my boy. Thanks to you, I feel more confident about my life.</p>
<p>I've turned my whole attitude around since I read your books. My husband and I have improved our relationship given that the word divorce was spoken just in July.</p>
<p>Thanks so much. You're my hero! I still face issues, but I'm following your advice and really hoping for the best.</p>
<p>G.</p>
Staff
2018-08-30T17:58:00Z
A Former Snotty Wife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Former-Snotty-Wife/397943778281707612.html
2018-08-29T17:58:00Z
2018-08-29T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Thank you Dr. Laura. I have been listening to you for about a year. My dilemma was solved because you continued to talk about not sweating the small stuff.</p>
<p>I am married to a great man. There was one thing that continued to bother me, though. We have well water and use a water purifier jug to pour purified water into our coffee pots for coffee each morning (he is decaf and I am leaded). About once a week he would forget to add water back into the jug after he makes coffee because he is rushing to work. I couldn't understand why he couldn't take 2 minutes to take care of this and would nag him about it. It takes the system almost 10 minutes to finish purifying. He didn't understand why it was such a big deal.</p>
<p>Once I started listening to your program, I realized I could only change MY perspective so I started to change. I got up each morning fully intending to fill the water pitcher for myself. I was then grateful when it was done for me most of the time. On the times he didn't, I no longer was mad as I planned on doing it myself anyway. I know this sounds small, but trust me, it really makes a difference. He no longer gets blindsided when he gets home from work with a snotty wife. It must have been awful for him.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura.</p>
<p>Jill</p>
Staff
2018-08-29T17:58:00Z
What I Want to be When I Grow Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-I-Want-to-be-When-I-Grow-Up/-538605908958158810.html
2018-08-28T17:58:00Z
2018-08-28T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>When I was growing up, to earn my weekly allowance, my dad used to have me write an essay. One week, he assigned me to write about what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote a paper about how I wanted to be a housewife and stay at home mom. He gave me the paper back, and said it wasn't acceptable. He made me re-write it, choosing a "real career". Just to get my allowance, I wrote what he wanted; I knew he wanted me to be a lawyer as he was. But, I never forgot how mad that made me. By the way, when I had my kids, I did become a stay at home mom, and it has been the best thing I have ever done in my life. I have 2 fantastic children who reflect my (and my husband's) values.</p>
<p>You are the best Dr. Laura. Keep telling the truth,</p>
<p>J.<br />My Kids Mom too!</p>
Staff
2018-08-28T17:58:00Z
Clearing My Conscience
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Clearing-My-Conscience/-661118365349121317.html
2018-08-27T17:58:00Z
2018-08-27T17:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>When I was in 5th grade, I cheated on a test. I didn't know the answer to one of the questions, and I wanted to get a good grade, so I looked at my classmate's test and got the answer. Wouldn't you know, I got a 100 on that test. Well, it bothered me so badly afterwards, especially with getting a 100, that I stayed in at recess time and "confessed" to my teacher, whom I happened to have much respect for. In fact, many times I accidentally slipped and called him "Dad" when addressing him. He thought I was very brave for coming forward with this. He talked to me about right and wrong, and allowed me to keep the grade.</p>
<p>Many years later, when my own children were going through the same school district, I approached this teacher and he remembered me and the incident. He said out of all of his years teaching, he never had a student come forward and confess to cheating.</p>
<p>L.</p>
Staff
2018-08-27T17:58:00Z
Lessons for Raising Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lessons-for-Raising-Kids/-20778095849376294.html
2018-08-24T17:58:00Z
2018-08-24T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>my (then) shack-up honey and I started listening to you. We were raising my (now) husband's, 10 year old daughter. I immediately loved your program and listened everyday. Both of us were so confused in raising a 10 year old. From you we learned: <br />1) kids don't own anything while they are still in our care. <br />2) As parents, we have the right to search their room if we believe there is reason for it. 3) When they dispute discipline and consequences, because of their wrong choices, there is no reason for arguing as we are the parents and they are the child.<br />4) We learned from you, a child needs to feel loved and secure, so we got married to give his daughter – now OUR daughter – security, my commitment to her, and stability.</p>
<p>Dr Laura, I’m thankful for you because she is now a 30 year old mother who embraced true principles and fundamental values we learned from you and your callers problems and dilemmas and our course our faith in God. If only I had heard you when I was raising my son who is now 40 years old.</p>
<p>Thank you for all you contribute to society about values and truth! I now put all I've learned from you in practice with my grandkids!</p>
<p>D.</p>
Staff
2018-08-24T17:58:00Z
I've Learned So Much from My Spouse
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ive-Learned-So-Much-from-My-Spouse/-28328474550203222.html
2018-08-23T17:58:00Z
2018-08-23T17:58:00Z
<p><br />My spouse's best quality is his internal compass. Not a North-South type of compass, but the kind that always points him to the right decision and keeps him on an eternally even keel. His ability to examine a situation, weigh all options and inputs, and come up with the correct response always leaves me in awe...and he can do all of this in an instant!</p>
<p>He challenges me to become a better person. He has already changed me for the better! Thanks to his influence, I've reduced the amount of drama I attach to situations, have become a better listener, and even begun to think critically about purchases. I'm still learning from him, and I make mistakes, but I'm glad he doesn't hold them against me. I can only hope that he learns as much from me as I do from him.</p>
<p>Thank you for your program! </p>
<p>Theresa</p>
Staff
2018-08-23T17:58:00Z
Remembering Old Flames
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Remembering-Old-Flames/-180446022278894036.html
2018-08-22T17:58:00Z
2018-08-22T17:58:00Z
<p><br />A recent caller was having trouble with constant dreams of an old boyfriend from 15 years ago. This brought to mind my 'problem' remembering a couple of old girlfriends.</p>
<p>I spend an hour a day on an exercycle listening to the best music ever made: 1964 - 1972 Rock / Pop music.</p>
<p>There are some songs which make me remember two girls, and make me feel sad. I really liked both of them, but I was a bit naive and extremely shy. And so, although I can't remember the details, I'm pretty sure I inadvertently hurt the feelings of one of them badly, and completely missed the signals the other was sending. I do remember deciding to break all contact with the first girl, although I can't remember why. I know I never told either of them 'Goodbye', I just went away. (In my shyness/insecurity/ignorance I didn't think they'd mind.)</p>
<p>From what I now understand about myself and about them, I'm pretty sure things wouldn't have worked out well with either girl. So I don't feel bad about 'losing' them, just about the probability I hurt their feelings.</p>
<p>I went many years without thinking of these girls, but a medicine I was put on a couple of years ago seems to have triggered 'flashbacks' to the early 1970s for me. I can't quit the medicine and enjoy most of the '70s memories.</p>
<p>Eventually, I'm sure I'll accept I can't do anything about any feelings I may have hurt 40 years ago. Until then, I'll just skip past those songs when the MP3 randomizer selects them.</p>
<p>Life has been good and I won't let random memories mess it up.</p>
<p>Kevin</p>
Staff
2018-08-22T17:58:00Z
Fun Times with My Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fun-Times-with-My-Mother/118247977673511677.html
2018-08-21T17:58:00Z
2018-08-21T17:58:00Z
<p><br />We as a family had a very stressful life when I was growing up. We were poor to the point of going long stints without electricity and water in our house. This financial stress made my dad mean and distant. My mother did everything she could to shield us from the reality of being poor. She made everything an adventure. We camped in the house or in tents when we couldn't afford a house.</p>
<p>My mother always had time for each of us to talk and to vent and to just be with her one on one. Our times together were always the same ritual and my favorite memories of my childhood. We would walk to the drug store about 15 minutes away and get a small ice cream cup (the kind that came with the mini wooden spoon) and share it on the walk back. We talked about everything a girl needed to talk to her mom about and we laughed and joked. It wasn't expensive or time-consuming, but it was so special to us both.</p>
<p>She had something like that she did with each of my brothers as well. It was those simple moments with Mom that made our childhood so special and really cemented our bonds with her. Young mothers today could really take a lesson from my mom's playbook. It's not how much money or time is spent, it is the quality of time with a woman who worked 3 jobs to keep us fed and still had time to be involved in our lives and make us each feel special.</p>
<p>Angela</p>
Staff
2018-08-21T17:58:00Z
Why Customer Service is Poor
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Customer-Service-is-Poor/861698361167473642.html
2018-08-20T17:58:00Z
2018-08-20T17:58:00Z
<p>Ahhh yes customer service! The lack of customer service is twofold. First, businesses have grown cold only looking at the bottom dollar so they automate or hire "cute young kids" to deal with issues. They get paid bottom dollar and we get bottom of the barrel service at best! Second, recently I worked in marketing/customer service and I was told by my boss he could not teach what I have. That puzzled me. So he explained he could not teach integrity, compassion and a concern for others. Well, yippy kai yea, and whoop whoop! I was doing a great job. Yup, and it was only a temp job. He hired me for the second time because he needed a "boost" in his business!? I believe he wouldn't need that boost if he had customer service. People would be waiting in line for his services. We live in a selfish world and that is why we don't get great customer service.</p>
<p>I learned very early from my father what he expected and saw how "picky" he was and that coupled with a deep concern for humanity makes me who I am and why I have outstanding customer service skills.</p>
<p>I hope all this makes sense. In a nutshell, no compassion, no customer service skills. If you're selfish, no customer service skills. After all don't we hear, "How can I help you?"</p>
<p>Great topic, Dr Laura. Take care and keep on keeping on!!!</p>
<p>E.</p>
Staff
2018-08-20T17:58:00Z
Fighting Addiction
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fighting-Addiction/-732340453768438917.html
2018-08-17T17:58:00Z
2018-08-17T17:58:00Z
<p>My husband gave me permission to tell this story.</p>
<p>My husband served in the Army and while in Viet Nam he became addicted to heroin. He was a door-gunner on a helicopter. Anyway, the camp's drug dealer was my husband's bunk mate. (I'm sure that's not what you call his barrack - hooch maybe??) Anyway, every time a deal went down the dealer gave everyone in the room a sample. Let's just say my husband got lots of samples on a regular basis.</p>
<p>He was getting close to being discharged and sent back to the States. He happened to read a book called "Needle Park" (heard they made a movie from the book). What struck him was these addicts would do anything (slash their wrists and pour the powder into their veins if they hadn't been able to shoot up when the "needed" it) and they would give up everything (their families, wives, kids) to get high. He said he decided right there to stop. He'd been doing heroine for 8 months. He quit cold turkey. He got very sick for a week. And then it was over! That was the end of his heroine addiction. He's a very strong man - but I wouldn't recommend this method.</p>
<p>There is an interesting twist. As of a few months ago my husband became addicted to Morphine. He was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer which is wrapped around his spine and aorta (the tumor actually fractured his spine). Oddly, his oncologist believes its Agent Orange related. He was on about 300 mg of morphine a day and at the beginning of January decided he felt the chemo was working (after his 2nd chemo treatment) and wanted to drive again. So you guessed it, he quit cold turkey! Didn't go so well this time! He spent 4 days in the hospital. They had to actually inject him with morphine to stop the throwing up and stabilize him. He couldn't eat for a week either. Anyway, they gave him a formula to reduce his morphine (he's down to 60 from 300) but he now realizes he may need to wait until he finishes his chemo and deals with the fractured spine.</p>
<p>But I wanted to say.... I am really proud of him! I'm proud of his service to our country (he received several medals for flying into combat to rescue fellow soldiers). I'm proud he decided he didn't want to let a substance control him and quit. And proud he is the most positive chemo patient and is just going to do what it takes to get well. He often says, "Why should I feel sorry for myself? I am just one of thousands battling this disease!" And I am confident that after his chemo and fractured spine is resolved.... he'll be morphine free.</p>
<p>Beverly</p>
Staff
2018-08-17T17:58:00Z
Lazy and Undisciplined No More!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lazy-and-Undisciplined-No-More!/-464743879681745886.html
2018-08-16T17:58:00Z
2018-08-16T17:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>One thing you said that REALLY got my attention was your comments about two years ago to an overweight woman. You told her she was lazy and undisciplined and she did not care about the impression she was making on others. OUCH! Those words hit home.</p>
<p>I have always struggled with my weight. I'm less than five feet tall, so I just cannot eat what others eat. I'm curvy, so I never have that lean look anyway. I love food, I love to cook, I love to be the hostess, and I love going out to restaurants. Some women sew, some make crafts, enjoy scrapbooking or interior decorating, or they work in the garden. My creative outlet in the home has always been cooking. However, when you gain five pounds a year every year, eventually you end up having to lose a lot of weight. I am not lazy in other areas of my life I am certainly disciplined, and I care a lot about the impression I make on others. Your words motivated me to quit playing around and to take weight loss really seriously. Sure, I had joined weight loss groups before, and I'd lose a few pounds, but once the initial excitement wore off and the pounds were not coming off so quickly, well, I would get frustrated and give up. Some friends from out of state got good results from a medical weight loss program, so with encouragement from my husband, I did the same. It was not inexpensive, but he said to me, "Aren't you worth it?" Cutting back a little bit wasn't enough for me. I needed to go somewhere where I had to weigh in daily and show my food diary and exercise log daily. Over time, I have completely changed the way I eat. With help from my program (and no medication), I lost sixty pounds and seven pant sizes to meet my goal last spring.</p>
<p>I could write another email just on the changes I've made and some of the challenges which come with losing that much weight. And I still need help. I've gained a little of this weight back in the last year, and I'm up one size in clothing. Sometimes it only takes a difference of 100-200 calories a day for me to swing from losing weight to maintaining to gaining weight. It is difficult to be disciplined every single day. I need the help and the accountability from others to keep my momentum up. However, the more committed I am to my goal, the more support I have received from my family, friends, and co-workers. They keep me away from the candy bowl in the office, the donuts at Sunday School, and the ice cream my family enjoys. They know I'm not going to eat their birthday cake, and it's okay. They don't even ask anymore. (Have you ever realized how many times it's someone's birthday?)</p>
<p>THANKS, Dr. Laura, for goading me into action. I will never forget those words that changed my life. I know you live them too.<br /><br />Lori</p>
Staff
2018-08-16T17:58:00Z
It Took A While to Sink In
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Took-A-While-to-Sink-In/120751317698882081.html
2018-08-15T17:58:00Z
2018-08-15T17:58:00Z
<p>My life completely changed 8 years ago. I was married, had 2 children, a career that kept me in the office 9 hours a day, 5 days a week. While I was in my office I always listened to you. I had a wonderful Nanny raising my children, but when I would talk to my husband about staying at home with my kids, he would just laugh. I obviously was not going about this the correct way.</p>
<p>Then, one day I got a slap on the face. I found out my husband was having an affair with a married mother of 2 from my kids' elementary school. I was devastated. I wanted to work this out, he was my husband and the father of my children. One week later, I was laid off of my job of 12 years. One week after that I turned 40 (I thought that was going to be my highlight of the year). As it turned out, my husband wanted out. My kids were only 8 & 5.</p>
<p>We get along great now, he is on his 2nd divorce to yet another woman. I did not have the energy to put on a suit and a happy face to look for a job. Soooo, I started my own business from home! I have been able to work out of my house and be with my children. I feel God had a hand in this, knowing my kids would be better off having me home while their dad was gone. My oldest is going off to college next year and both are doing exceptional at school (an all girls' high school).</p>
<p>I have learned from you and my own experience, one may be able to do it all, career, marriage, mother, but one cannot do them all well. My marriage fell apart. 8 years ago, I would cry and ask God to end my life. I now say he did end the life I had and gave me a better one. I have been able to be my own boss and be there for my daughters. I have not dated - I don't believe that is being a good role model, especially when raising girls.</p>
<p>I was proud of my college bound daughter when I overheard her conversation about careers with her sister. My 14 year old was saying she does not want to be dependent on a man - but my 18 year old replied, "I'm ok with having a husband who can support me while I raise our children." Though I listened to you for years, I was not functioning as I should have. But now I am! Maybe after all those years it finally sunk in.</p>
<p>A.</p>
Staff
2018-08-15T17:58:00Z
Made Two Simple Changes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Made-Two-Simple-Changes/220530493416993919.html
2018-08-14T17:58:00Z
2018-08-14T17:58:00Z
<p><br />This morning my husband said, "I'm so lucky I have the best wife in the world!" Dr. Laura, we are not newlyweds but have been married 35 years.</p>
<p>We always had a good marriage, but five years ago I read your book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. I made a vow at that time to do two things: I would never again say no to sex, and I would ban any negative talk about my husband from my speech or thoughts (the last being the harder part). I realized how I had gotten in the habit of thinking negative things: Why doesn't he do it the right way? Why can't he just get to the point? etc.</p>
<p>So, fast forward to today and I can truly say our marriage is stupendous, excellent, wonderful! These were simple things any woman can do, even if you don't feel like making the effort. Just do it! The pay off is definitely worth it. And you will find your love for the wonderful man you chose deepens into the best kind of life partnership anyone could wish for. So glad I read your book. Thank you.</p>
<p>P.</p>
Staff
2018-08-14T17:58:00Z
My Vows to My Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Vows-to-My-Husband/715447544419008093.html
2018-08-13T17:58:00Z
2018-08-13T17:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>First, thank you for changing my views on marriage. I was a firm believer in the concept of common law marriages prior to listening to your show. After hearing show after show about women shacking up with boyfriends and most importantly, how this affects children when they are born into these situations... I (or you rather) changed my mind!</p>
<p>I am writing you today to tell you I have chosen wisely and last week my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years and I had our wedding. I also wanted to share my personal vows I read to my husband on our wedding day.</p>
<p>Thank you for your guidance and for changing our lives.<br />-Kristie</p>
<p>My vows to my husband...</p>
<p>Completed by your love, I'm the woman I longed to be<br />I feel I've known you always, in my deepest memory</p>
<p>You've cared for me in sickness, shared my highest of all highs<br />You stand strong with me so willingly, as challenges arise</p>
<p>You make it clear the blessing, that all hardships can provide<br />If the only blessing to be found, is that you are by my side</p>
<p>I look forward to living young and growing old, If only it's with you<br />Discovering the joys of life, of moments old and new</p>
<p>I promise to love you always, in strife and times of woe<br />To always be your girlfriend, even as your Mrs. Boe</p>
<p>I promise to prove to you, each day of our married life<br />That you did the right thing, in making me your wife</p>
Staff
2018-08-13T17:58:00Z
Making Exercise a Priority
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Exercise-a-Priority/-342748435913261336.html
2018-08-10T17:58:00Z
2018-08-10T17:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am a homeschooling mother of 5 kids. I also teach piano to 15 additional kids per week.</p>
<p>How do I fit in exercise? <br /><br />I go to bed early and get up before my kids awake to run 5 miles per day. I used to walk, but 5 months ago I decided to try running. I have cut my time down from 1 1/2 hours per day to 45 minutes per day. I also have the benefit of better sleep, better health, and my lung capacity has increased (I am a singer). <br /><br />I like Nike's "<em>Just Do It</em>" philosophy, and I use that phrase on myself when it is cold, dark, and rainy! When I first told people I was running all I heard was "i<em>t's so bad on your knees.</em>" Of course, that was from non-exercisers. My knees feel great, even after having 5 kids, and I've never felt better.</p>
<p>Rebecca</p>
Staff
2018-08-10T17:58:00Z
Choosing a Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Choosing-a-Husband/-984707369685726329.html
2018-08-09T17:58:00Z
2018-08-09T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I was divorced in 1984 after 18 years of marriage, not being aware of you when I married the first time in 1964. It was terrible. After dating to see what I didn't want in a husband, I was in the shower where I did my clear thinking and said to myself, "<em>Of course, these are the things I want</em>." Now I was ready to possible remarry. The year was 1987. I wanted…</p>
<ul>
<li>1. A widower (because I wasn't a nasty divorcee, therefore, I didn't 't want to deal with one who was.)</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>2. Him to have grown children. I didn't want to raise children.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>3. Someone established in his career and not trying to find himself. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>4. He had to be between 45-55 because I was 44.</li>
</ul>
<p>To my amazement, sometime later I was fixed up with such a man!!!!<br />He had been my Pharmacist when I was married. Now, he is in my life for 24 wonderful years. I got all my wishes and more. I feel women should have a clear picture of what they want in a husband.</p>
<p>As you always say, "<em>if you don't respect yourself how can you get respect in return</em>."</p>
<p>Thank you not only for your time but for your advice.</p>
<p>Lillian</p>
Staff
2018-08-09T17:58:00Z
Clearing My Conscience
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Clearing-My-Conscience/292957786215486172.html
2018-08-08T17:58:00Z
2018-08-08T17:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>When I was in 5th grade, I cheated on a test. I didn't know the answer to one of the questions, and I wanted to get a good grade, so I looked at my classmate's test and got the answer. Wouldn't you know, I got a 100 on that test. Well, it bothered me so badly afterwards, especially with getting a 100, that I stayed in at recess time and "confessed" to my teacher, whom I happened to have much respect for. In fact, many times I accidentally slipped and called him "Dad" when addressing him. He thought I was very brave for coming forward with this. He talked to me about right and wrong, and allowed me to keep the grade.</p>
<p>Many years later, when my own children were going through the same school district, I approached this teacher and he remembered me and the incident. He said out of all of his years teaching, he never had a student come forward and confess to cheating.</p>
<p>L.</p>
Staff
2018-08-08T17:58:00Z
Ending Up With a Distressed Damsel
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ending-Up-With-a-Distressed-Damsel/48618175242571231.html
2018-08-07T17:58:00Z
2018-08-07T17:58:00Z
<p>I have been listening to your show for a little over a year now. The thing you said that has hit me the hardest is, "<em>when you rescue a damsel in distress all you end up with is a distressed damsel</em>." I am 32 years old and I am coming up on the second anniversary of my second marriage. Frankly, this one is going about as well as the first one did.</p>
<p>My first wife was the product of a messy divorce. It seemed every day she screamed and yelled and yelled and screamed. It was rarely about something I did, it was more related to her work than our relationship, but I was still the constant punching bag. Once I actually "grew a pair" and stood up for myself it turned into constant fighting. After a fight where I had to restrain her from hitting me and she actually bit me, I decided there was nothing more I could for her. I had teeth marks in my shoulder for days. Shortly thereafter I moved back home (about 600 miles away) and we divorced. I got custody of the dog; we had no children.</p>
<p>My second wife is also a product of divorce, but rather than being forced to be in the middle of a messy divorce she was basically neglected by her parents. They gave her food and shelter but beyond that they did not do a lot of parenting. Her father saw her every other weekend and tried to parent her, but other than that, she was out of sight out of mind for him. Her mother worked and brought her home dinner but was "too tired" for anything beyond that. When my wife was 16 her mother even moved in with her new husband and left my wife behind at their house to fend for herself.<br /><br />Now my wife is following in those footsteps when it comes to me. When she gets home from work she is "needs to unwind and is too tired" to pay any attention to me. Unwinding to her is lying on the couch and watching TV. The best way to describe her is as a grumpy lump.</p>
<p>Last July, I bought her "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands-ebook/dp/B000FC1PIO/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1532914387&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Proper+Care+and+Feeding+of+Husbands" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>" thinking maybe she just didn't have a good example of how marriage is supposed to be like. It took her three months to read it, (this is a woman who did an entire MBA program in 9 months.) When she finished it, she made more comparisons to how her parents treated her rather than how she was treating me. None of it sunk in. So I waited a few months and got her "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Bad-Childhood-Good-Life-Blossom-Thrive-ebook/dp/B000FCKM3S/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1532914429&sr=1-1&keywords=Bad+Childhood%2C+Good+Life" target="_blank">Bad Childhood, Good Life</a></em>." She read the introduction and never picked it up again. </p>
<p>So after being neglected and completely bored with watching her watch TV from the time we get home from work until we fall asleep on the couch, I joined the gym and spend most of my evenings there. I have lost over 20 pounds and have gained a lot of muscle doing Les Mills Body Pump. Now the wife is annoyed with me for spending so much time at the gym and that I don't start making dinner until I get home around 8 pm. But at least I am doing something productive rather than being bitter she is wasting both of our lives away.</p>
<p>So needless to say I wish I had heard that little bit of advice earlier.</p>
<p>Thomas</p>
Staff
2018-08-07T17:58:00Z
The Power of a Female
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Power-of-a-Female/-335502838003154041.html
2018-08-06T17:58:00Z
2018-08-06T17:58:00Z
<p><br />All I could do was laugh and think of your book, “<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000FC1VBA/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1" target="_blank">Woman Power</a></em>”. My son has a Weimaraner (a female named Bella) who visits his tenant’s Basset (a male named Jake) who alas is on a chain while Bella is free to roam. <br /><br />They were playing with a tennis ball and mostly Jake was chasing Bella to get it. She got distracted and dropped the ball so dear Jake stole it and returned to his outdoors cushion with it. Bella tried to grab it, but Jake wouldn’t let it go. After a few minutes, Bella decided she would try another tactic and headed to the edge of where Jake’s chain reached and decided to drop a little piddle over there… Guess what the typical male Jake did???? Dropped the ball and went to investigate. Bella the very wise female ran over, grabbed the ball and merrily on her way! <br /><br />If I hadn’t been standing there I wouldn’t have believed it… I will never look at this female doggie the same way again!</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Vicki</p>
Staff
2018-08-06T17:58:00Z
Finally Free to Be Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finally-Free-to-Be-Me/942708323556967003.html
2018-08-03T17:58:00Z
2018-08-03T17:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>This letter to you is a long time coming. I have listened to you since I was 13; I am 30 now. You have been a moral voice in my life as I grew up with a father who had no integrity or good character and with a drug addict, suicidal, mentally ill mother. I wanted to tell you about my path and in part because of you where I am today.</p>
<p>I was a doormat for my mom to walk on for most of my years: I was her mother, her crutch and after my parents divorce - she treated me like a whipped husband. And I let her. I let her use me: I shopped for her, at times fed and bathed her, and was her taxi service when she did leave the house. There was so much more than this but I think you get the idea.</p>
<p>Today I am living on my own and recently set some firm limits in our relationship. She recently re-married and considered coming back to live with me again because it was too hard to give in her marriage and she wanted a slave. I told her no more, we would not live together because now it's my turn to live my life; she had her chance and has blown it every step of the way. No longer would I be her mother and I told her so; I told her I am happy living this way for the first time in my life - happy. As a result she went back with her husband and I have since started on my weight loss journey. You see, I gained 139 lbs. during the duration of my self-allowed imprisonment. I lost 7.5 lbs over the holidays; I am now down 12 lbs. in the last 3 weeks or so. I have a LONG way to go, but I am keeping loving and realistic expectations on myself and looking at this as empowerment, freeing me to be ME. My life has never been better, I am serving in my church, singing, crafting, spending quality time with quality friends and enjoying the little things in life.</p>
<p>You have been my long-distance Mom all these years, for that I am more than grateful - I am changed! Bless you and your family!!</p>
<p>H</p>
Staff
2018-08-03T17:58:00Z
How I Got the SENSE to Leave!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Got-the-SENSE-to-Leave!/778149165448341358.html
2018-08-02T17:58:00Z
2018-08-02T17:58:00Z
<p><br />You have asked for emails on HOW those of us in abusive relationships finally LEFT. So...here goes...</p>
<p>I was extremely naïve, having come from a home where Dad was the protector, defender and made numerous sacrifices for his family. I ASSUMED all men were that way. STUPID.</p>
<p>So, for SIX YEARS, I tolerated one disrespectful behavior after another, believing if I just loved him enough... he would change.</p>
<p>HE DIDN'T. But I did...</p>
<p>I went from happy and optimistic to miserable and angry...</p>
<p>Everyone was worried about me but no one had the guts to tell me THE TRUTH... I was PLAYING THE FOOL.</p>
<p>Then I had SENSE ENOUGH to call you and you set me straight -- read me the riot act and told me to LEAVE NOW... UNFORTUNATELY I didn't -- it took another 6 months but your words rang TRUE and so in the end, I followed your advice. </p>
<p>Slowly the cloud lifted and I can see a bright future once again.</p>
<p>I have learned a lot and NEXT TIME I will pick a man with character...I just wish I had called you earlier.</p>
<p>Thanks for all you do!!!</p>
<p>L.</p>
Staff
2018-08-02T17:58:00Z
Getting Through the Bad Days
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Getting-Through-the-Bad-Days/-34083758307459469.html
2018-08-01T17:58:00Z
2018-08-01T17:58:00Z
<p>I have a long story. I was only 17 when my father killed my mother, brother and 2 sisters. I married soon after and it ended in divorce. My second husband of now 33 years and I were blessed with 3 children: two boys and a girl. Our daughter died when she was just 28 days old. My husband found her; SIDS was the listed as the cause of death. When others hear my story and say, "<em>How do you do it?</em>" I reply with a huge smile, "<em>Why Dr. Laura gets me through the bad days!</em>"</p>
<p>My husband and I listen to you often and we have enjoyed your insight into life. Your calls do enjoy a lot of lively discussions. I just want you to know even someone as damaged as I am can find peace within your words. Please enjoy another 50 years of being MOTHER LAURA!</p>
<p>Thank you from one of your survivors!</p>
Staff
2018-08-01T17:58:00Z
Distress in My Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Distress-in-My-Marriage/361581312585998313.html
2018-07-31T17:58:00Z
2018-07-31T17:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>When I was younger, I remember my Mom listening to your show in the car when she would drive from here to there. Your advice always stuck with me. Fast forward many years I am now the Mom driving the child around.</p>
<p>I recently went to a book sale and found a copy of your book, "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands-ebook/dp/B000FC1PIO/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1532909723&sr=1-1&keywords=the+proper+care+feeding+of+husbands" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.</a></em>" I flipped through it and decided to purchase it since I wasn't feeling particularly content with my relationship with my husband of 5 years. We had been having some problems for quite some time. I was a bit concerned about our future if after only 5 years we were already not happy. I started reading your book as soon as I got home. I finished it in two days because I felt you speaking to me through your words and stories. <br /><br />Your book was a wake-up call for me and made me see how I was putting all the blame on my husband instead of taking responsibility for my part in the distress in our marriage. I am a stay at home mom, and reading your book made me appreciate how FORTUNATE I am to have a husband who works long hours to allow me to do so, and be here for our four-year-old son. In a nutshell, your words opened my eyes. I immediately put into action your suggestions and within days, my husband started acting happier, which in turn made me happy.</p>
<p>I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and I wanted to extend my deepest thanks to you. It is no accident I wandered into that book sale that day and decided to give your book a try. I truly believe God led me to it to help me see the error of my ways. My marriage will be eternally grateful. Thank you again, Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Julia</p>
Staff
2018-07-31T17:58:00Z
Other Causes of Childhood Stress
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Other-Causes-of-Childhood-Stress/-125625558353808948.html
2018-07-30T17:58:00Z
2018-07-30T17:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Thank you for addressing the topic of childhood stress on your show recently.</p>
<p>Our daughter cried a lot and was also extremely stressed. Sometimes we could only hold her and caress her as she remained inconsolable. After several trips to specialists, it was recommended we medicate her for anxiety and ADHD.</p>
<p>Instead, we asked she be tested for neurobiological causes such as Celiac Sprue, Sleep Disorders, and Thyroid dysfunction. Fortunately, my husband is a Pediatric Neuropsychologist trained at UCLA and CHLA. He has learned many kids with such disorders have symptoms of anxiety and ADHD.</p>
<p>The results of testing indicated our daughter had Celiac Sprue. Within weeks of implementing treatment, her anxiety and ADHD symptoms subsided. She is now a happy and successful teen who has a passion for helping others.</p>
<p>Based on our personal experience, I sincerely wish families were more aware of the neurobiological causes of childhood stress.</p>
<p>Warmest regards,</p>
<p>Rose</p>
Staff
2018-07-30T17:58:00Z
He Did the Dishes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Did-the-Dishes/-171771512809203549.html
2018-07-26T16:54:00Z
2018-07-26T16:54:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>In one of your books (<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Marriage-ebook/dp/B000N2HD1Y/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1532624109&sr=1-1&keywords=the+proper+care+feeding+of+marriage" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage</a></em>), there was a wife who wrote about how she told her husband he looked sexy washing the dishes, so he decided to do it more often! <br /><br />I am a SAHM and I totally do not expect my hard-working husband to do the dishes, as that is one of my many tasks I perform at home. But, I was surprised the other night (the day after we made AWESOME LOVE), when he did the dishes I had soaking in the sink while I was busy with bedtime routines for our two children. <br /><br />It was unexpected, but greatly appreciated of course! Did this happen because of "<em>properly caring</em>" for my husband? If so, I really have to keep up the proper caring!<br /><br />Thanks again,</p>
<p>Jennifer</p>
Staff
2018-07-26T16:54:00Z
Teaching Respect
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teaching-Respect/-382582868932560424.html
2018-07-25T17:58:00Z
2018-07-25T17:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Nick Peters is a real estate person in our area. Once in a while, he sends out newsletters with interesting tidbits and a sprinkling of personal info. This column was in the most recent letter:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">A few days ago my 83-year-old Dad joined me at my oldest son's high school "passing league" football tournament. His knees are bad and he can barely walk a few blocks (I am talking about my Dad, not my son!!) so I wondered how he'd do. We brought his walker to help him cover more ground with less pain.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">At this tournament there were dozens of teams and literally hundreds of boys constantly warming up, running, playing catch, running patterns, you name it. You couldn't walk more than 5 feet without having to go around a boy or step over a football. Not an ideal place for Dad to try and get around easily.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Still, it was a great day. By late afternoon, although the tourney was not over, AJ had played his final game and it was time for our long trudge back to the car.<br />Of course, any "long trudge" is shorter if you decide to NOT go around the crowd. Before I knew it, Dad was already a good 50 yards away. He was blazing a slow but deliberate path straight for the exit and RIGHT through a massive crowd of football players. It was like watching someone trying to walk across the 405 freeway and not get hit! Oy!!</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">My first instinct was to run forward and re-direct Dad out of harm's way. Instead, I took a deep breath and just stood back and admired what he was doing ... he was forging ahead through thick and thin - like he has done his whole life... With his Korean Veteran cap on, he (with his walker) ambled through one school of boys like a cruise missile in slow motion. There wasn't much anyone could do about my dad's plan! At a pace of 1 mile/hour he wasn't going to be out of their way anytime soon! The kids looked a bit bewildered at my Dad slicing through their territory; they couldn't practice their running routes for fear of colliding into the Old Man.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Surprisingly, the coaches didn't mind this unusual interruption. In fact, the head coach motioned to the boys to make room for the Old Man. He barked at some of the slower moving boys to "Move back 5 yards, now!" To me, that showed a clear sense of respect and honor that my Dad's labored efforts took precedence over their practice.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">The coach seemed determined to make sure his players respectfully and quickly moved back to give the aging Veteran the right of way. Dad was tired, hot, and pushing hard to make it to the car before his knees gave out. I really don't think he noticed anything. But I did. The coach did. And more importantly, some of those kids did, too.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">A year from now I won't remember if AJ's team won or lost the tourney, but I will remember the sight of my Dad, like an old tugboat, puttering through the sea of young men, who gave him the space and respect he deserved.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2018-07-25T17:58:00Z
Who Pays for College?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Who-Pays-for-College/-682187965924559939.html
2018-07-24T17:58:00Z
2018-07-24T17:58:00Z
<p><br />By dumb luck, I was able to pay for my own college. I was only 17 when I started college. Since I didn't like school, my first thought was to go during the summers. If I went during the summer, I could get it over with faster. Then I thought, I don't want to be 20 years old and working full time. So I decided to do a "<em>co-op</em>", a program that includes a year of hands-on work intermixed throughout the 4 academic years. It would take 5 calendar years to finish school. Well, working and saving during those co-op sessions allowed me to pay 100% of my way through school. With 5 other siblings for my parents to get through school, I was happy to do it.</p>
<p>My 3 daughters were told as a freshman in high school, I would pay 1/4 of the cost of college, their mother would pay a 1/4, and they had to cover the other half. Also, I told them they did not need to get a job during high school. I would give them a reasonable amount of spending money for their socializing. Their JOB during high school was to get good grades so they could get good scholarship money. So they got good scholarships (which count toward their half) and they are also working in a co-op program and taking 5 calendar years to get through school.</p>
<p>It is working out very well!</p>
<p>Daniel</p>
Staff
2018-07-24T17:58:00Z
A No-Nonsense Woman
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-No-Nonsense-Woman/167285634393991172.html
2018-07-23T17:58:00Z
2018-07-23T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I was raised by a no-nonsense woman. Life was simple for my mom. If you told the truth and stood up for what was right, all would go well for you. Many times as a child, I would tell my mom about an incidence. She would give me her best advice, to which I would reply "They will be mad." She would reply "They will just have to get glad." Hard words to swallow for a kid, but that was my mom, very straightforward.</p>
<p>Years past and I grew and had children of my own. I had 3 daughters. I raised my kids with the same approach to life. Tell the truth and be honest and all will be ok.</p>
<p>My mother died when my girls were small. I missed her no-nonsense advice. There was no one in my life who could tell it like it was like my mom. Then one day shortly after we moved to L.A. in the very early '80s, I was searching for a radio station and there she was: My Mom on the radio. Her name was different and her voice not the same, but the comments and the same no-nonsense approach to life. This lady's name was Dr. Laura…. It was pure joy on my part and I have been a loyal listener ever since. I would listen to Dr. Laura when I picked up the girls from school every day. Yes, I was a stay at home mom. I felt this was my number 1 job. The girls are grown now, but when one of them has a unique problem the other says "That sounds like a Dr. Laura call for sure." We all say, "Yes it does. What would Dr. Laura say for advice?"</p>
<p>I have learned so much from you. You have taught us about things like putting children first above all else, staying home with your children has great value, how to stand up to abortion, how the sexualization of young children is evil, how divorce HURTS kids most of all, how to treat our spouses and to pick well and treat kindly. Most of all you have inspired me to carry your thoughts out into my world and to the people I come in contact with; to go into our community, help kids and talk the truth about the worlds around us. My parents are my true heroes in life, but next to them is you. You have carried on for years with sometimes not much more than criticism and yet you just keep going and going and going.</p>
<p>Thank you soooo much for staying on the air and tell people what they need to hear and not what they want to hear. You are loved by millions of listeners; they can't all be wrong. I am sure there are people who you have truly helped save their lives. I just wanted to tell you how you help us not so messed up people, who find it hard to rise to the top anymore, to do just that: Rise to the top and love the view. Thanks for all you do for all our mental health in a very crazy world.<br /><br />J.</p>
Staff
2018-07-23T17:58:00Z
A Former Snotty Wife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Former-Snotty-Wife/941858379225071957.html
2018-07-20T17:58:00Z
2018-07-20T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Thank you Dr. Laura. I have been listening to you for about a year. My dilemma was solved because you continued to talk about not sweating the small stuff.</p>
<p>I am married to a great man. There was one thing that continued to bother me, though. We have well water and use a water purifier jug to pour purified water into our coffee pots for coffee each morning (he is decaf and I am leaded). About once a week he would forget to add water back into the jug after he makes coffee because he is rushing to work. I couldn't understand why he couldn't take 2 minutes to take care of this and would nag him about it. It takes the system almost 10 minutes to finish purifying. He didn't understand why it was such a big deal.</p>
<p>Once I started listening to your program, I realized I could only change MY perspective so I started to change. I got up each morning fully intending to fill the water pitcher for myself. I was then grateful when it was done for me most of the time. On the times he didn't, I no longer was mad as I planned on doing it myself anyway. I know this sounds small, but trust me, it really makes a difference. He no longer gets blindsided when he gets home from work with a snotty wife. It must have been awful for him.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura.</p>
<p>Jill</p>
Staff
2018-07-20T17:58:00Z
Sibling Turmoil
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sibling-Turmoil/684200041963555974.html
2018-07-19T17:58:00Z
2018-07-19T17:58:00Z
<p>My little sister is my best friend. It has not always been this way, but I value her friendship more than any other human being (other than my husband).</p>
<p>As children, our father pitted us against each other often sparking physical fights between us because he thought it was normal to hate your siblings. Then after our mother passed away, we lived separately because her mental health went into decline and she was in and out of homes, kicked out of our adopted families' home and moved from relative to relative until she finally got married. My little sister struggled with Bi-Polar disorder and we fought often, mostly due to the fact she felt I was not sad enough over our mother's death and felt I didn't love her enough.</p>
<p>When I met my husband he helped me cut her off completely because of her caustic affect on my emotions and well being. About 2 years ago though, she woke up, she lost a ton of weight, started feeling better about herself, and we made amends. I was cautious at first because we had made amends and broke ties many, many times over the last 15 years. It turned out I didn't need to be cautious though, and last December on the 14th anniversary of our mother's death, she called me telling me she was pregnant! We have had so much fun the last 7 months preparing for the baby and shopping for baby things and planning her baby shower. I finally feel like I am getting to be a big sister and that my little sister needs and looks up to me, and we talk every day!</p>
<p>Nicole</p>
Staff
2018-07-19T17:58:00Z
Difficulty Making a Commitment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Difficulty-Making-a-Commitment/759556963880129992.html
2018-07-18T17:55:00Z
2018-07-18T17:55:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Recently you asked, "Some people have difficulty making a commitment to love. With what did you have to struggle before you made such a commitment?"<br /> <br />I started thinking about how to select a partner in junior high school. I then went to an all-boys high school, so not much happened there, but in college, I started looking in earnest. Once I met my future wife, I was not in a hurry, since I figured I should be on a two-year time table. My future wife, however, had never thought of getting married. Her aunt, who sold cosmetics, had made her think she was too ugly to ever find a husband. Furthermore, she was not impressed by the happiness of her parents, so she had pretty much decided she would never get married.</p>
<p>I made my interest known. We were happy dating, and even buying many airplane tickets to stay in touch when I transferred East and she transferred West. Once I decided she was the one, I started to work to convince her we would be good together. I showed her my parents' marriage and told her it was really quite good. At any rate, I finally got her to agree to marry me. We have now had 40 wonderful years together.</p>
<p>So, I guess I was determined to conquer her fear of commitment, and it was never a problem for me, since I found a wonderful person before getting tired of the search. I was a little lucky my thinking about the problem first helped me select a good person. I remember it really helping me avoid the most obvious pitfalls you often talk about.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Peter</p>
Staff
2018-07-18T17:55:00Z
Easy to Love Him
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Easy-to-Love-Him/130748865078957421.html
2018-07-17T17:58:00Z
2018-07-17T17:58:00Z
<p><br />When I first met my husband, I said to myself, “<em>What a goof!</em>” Silly me, I fell in love. Now I laugh every day.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for decades of wise counsel. Your radio show and books opened my eyes, ears, and heart. Over time I heeded to your marriage advice: choose wisely and treat kindly. When I married my husband, I married his family of 2 young adult children. When I said “I do,” I fully agreed to not having babies. I chose to invest in my husband, his son, and his daughter. I have had no regrets. Their love has blessed me. Of course, I took my time with my decision to marry and took pre-marital counseling with my husband. During this time I realized I didn't need to be married to be fulfilled. However, I chose to marry my best friend because I wanted to laugh, love, and grow with him. We just celebrated our eighth anniversary.</p>
<p>Our first three years were emotionally challenging. I cried a lot. It was during this time I read your book, “<em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>.” Wow! It was amazing how quickly our lives moved in a positive motion once I changed my habits. You guided me to be quiet, listen well, and play more. I learned to hear how I was received no matter my intent. I silenced my fearful “what ifs." Then, I poured on the small showers of affection. My passion was food to my husband's being. Now, he eagerly moves mountains for me. Being married to my husband has made me a better person. I adore how easy it is to love him. Two years ago my husband's daughter and son said to me, “We like who our Dad is when he is with you.” My heart jumped for joy.</p>
<p>I am so grateful to be my husband's girlfriend. He is my Sunshine. He lights up my world and keeps me giggling.</p>
<p>M.</p>
Staff
2018-07-17T17:58:00Z
WonderWife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/WonderWife/114171286873642839.html
2018-07-16T17:58:00Z
2018-07-16T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>I know by being a loyal listener you get loads of mail from husbands who complain about their wives and girlfriends and I want to break that barrier. I want to tell you about my wife.</p>
<p>We have been married 37 years and although we haven't had a perfect marriage, my wife has always been there for me no matter what. She is my wife, lover, girlfriend, partner, and above all my best friend. I have not always been there for her, but that never stopped her from being there for me. I can't say enough about her and will raise my praises for her to anybody. I don't know what I would do without her and hopefully will never have to find out. She is an inspiration to me and shows she loves me every day. She is never too busy or too tired to show her support and love for me. I feel like this is a one sided street sometimes and work very hard to prove to her I am worthy of her. I won't go on, but I think you see I have a very special woman and to let you know they are still out there. I have the diamond of the crop.</p>
<p>Keep up the great work and thank you for being there for the people that need the help.</p>
<p>Randy</p>
Staff
2018-07-16T17:58:00Z
Techonology is a Double-Edged Sword
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Techonology-is-a-Double-Edged-Sword/-207151424012699768.html
2018-07-13T17:58:00Z
2018-07-13T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Like so many other things, advances in technology both help and harm our relationship. So often my wife and I comment we are grateful we did not have to deal with texting, facebook updates, and twitter feeds when we were dating. My wife claims I would not have married her if all of her awkward past was so accessible to me when we were dating, I beg to differ.</p>
<p>Modern technology helps our relationships with friends, allowing us to keep up with people we would otherwise lose track of, and even reconnect with people. Conversely, all that time spent keeping track of others can be harmful to a relationship when it takes time away from actually being together. It is disheartening to come home from work when dinner has not been started and my wife is browsing Facebook or Pinterest.</p>
<p>Important family and friendship relationships are not rooted in emails or Facebook, they come from spending time together in some form. Technology relationships are for distant cousins and "<em>pie crust</em>" friends to quote Mary Poppins "<em>Easily made, easily broken.</em>"</p>
<p>Thank you for all your great insights,</p>
<p>Michael</p>
Staff
2018-07-13T17:58:00Z
Creative Ways to Help Kids Behave
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Creative-Ways-to-Help-Kids-Behave/-775887402192615800.html
2018-07-12T17:58:00Z
2018-07-12T17:58:00Z
<p><br />We've done a variety of different things over the years to help our kids "readjust" to a straight path in life. They've been different depending upon the child (we've got 3). But here's one of 'em:</p>
<p>When our 11 year old son dumped all the dog poop for MONTHS over the fence to create a pile that my husband then stepped in the middle of the night when the circuit breaker went flooey, we gave him the next day to clean it up. He did not.</p>
<p>Then we "hired" my husband at his $50 per hour rate for 1.5 hours to clean it up, and "charged" my son at $6.00 per hour to pay that back. We removed everything from his room (including his bed) and he wouldn't get it back until he'd earned it back by labor at his $6 per hour rate. We left him with a sleeping bag and a pillow.</p>
<p>He ended up having to dig a trench at our rental house so we could lay water lines for a new washer/dryer system. It took him 10 hours. I packed him a lunch on a Saturday, gave him a bunch of water, and dropped him off with a pair of work gloves, a shovel, and written instructions.</p>
<p>(He had NO idea I parked around the corner and watched him for safety's sake).</p>
<p>When he finished, exhausted, sweaty, and sore and I picked him up - he said, "Okay - I've learned the value of using my brain for my future - AND of doing the right thing the first time."</p>
<p>Lesson learned.<br /> <br />Alisa</p>
Staff
2018-07-12T17:58:00Z
The Mental Workout Of A Lifetime
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Mental-Workout-Of-A-Lifetime/77594419389779872.html
2018-07-11T17:58:00Z
2018-07-11T17:58:00Z
<p>I graduated in 1968, after a New York State Regents scholarship paid for my entire education. I also worked summers to pay for books and to help at home as my dad was disabled.</p>
<p>That would not be possible today. I guess I'd work all day and go to school at night, taking many extra years to get my degree. Or, I'd just save up till I had enough to minimize any debt I incurred. Our kids are extremely lucky to have their educations paid for. Most can't do this.</p>
<p>A college education is still essential, not just because of jobs. If you study and are in rigorous programs, you will get a 4-year mental workout that will last a lifetime. It's not the current view, but it's my view that a liberal arts education is essential. Throughout life, you run into situations which might lead you to compromise ideals, quality of thought, and to stop asking so many pesky questions. Not good. An educated and questioning population is the best insurance against social decay like we're experiencing now.</p>
<p>Anyway, what's harder for kids now is, obviously, the cost of college. What may not be so obvious is the anti-intellectual trend of our society, the tendency to settle for the easy fix (TV, movies, easy reading, junk food) and not examine things. I would not have made it as a SAHM without the mental strength I had because of my education. My self-esteem was under assault constantly, and I was able to fight back.</p>
<p>It's very scary, because our country is at a crossroads. We could lose many freedoms unless we stay alert, talk back, and ask questions. One may be born with some type of genetic level of intelligence, but it does take training to develop it, and college is definitely worth it.</p>
<p>Barbara</p>
Staff
2018-07-11T17:58:00Z
The Love You Take
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Love-You-Take/669935270170679850.html
2018-07-10T17:58:00Z
2018-07-10T17:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am 31 years old, I am my husband's girlfriend and working on being my future children's mother.</p>
<p>A few years ago, my best friend, Jessica, reintroduced me to you after years of despising you. As young teens, her dad would listen to your show daily and lecture us on being good girls - It drove us nuts. We considered ourselves feminists and saw your ways as old school - your show was holding women back, encouraging the idea women were the weaker gender and should live to serve their men. When I got married 2 years ago, we had a very rough start. My husband and I fought a lot, dealing with major issues in our relationship. Around that time, Jessica asked me if I'd listened to you recently. I was shocked. "You mean that terrible woman your dad used to listen to??" She encouraged me to listen to your radio show with different ears. We started talking about how we were treating our men and our minds opened to the idea that perhaps we had been wrong about your message. From there, I picked up "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and my world changed. I became a regular listener of your show. I picked up "Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships" and signed up for your newsletter. I told my mom, sister, aunts and husband all about you because I wanted everyone to read your books and see what I now see.</p>
<p>My relationship with my husband has dramatically changed. I know how to take care of my King... it is so easy. The love I get in return is indescribable. Now we are ready for a family and have started the process of buying a home, bringing us to a new obstacle - the Don't Be A Stay At Home Mom mentality. We both have great full time jobs but are applying for a home loan with only one salary - his. This is a big step because my current income is over a third of our household income, plus by quitting my job, I will be losing a large amount of unvested stock. Our lifestyle is about to go through a major change. Some of my friends and family think I am crazy to give that up. I've been encouraged to "put it in a spreadsheet" and "weigh out the opportunity cost" more than a handful of times. But then I think about my childhood, how even as my parents struggled for money, my mom was always there. She raised me as a baby and took on an in-home day care when my sister was born so even if she couldn't give us her full attention, at least she was the one raising us. I think about how lucky I am to have a husband who fully supports my wishes to raise our children and how blessed we are to have income we do to make this happen.</p>
<p>Dr. Laura, the greatest thing about your message is that it applies to ALL relationships: husband to wife, mother to child, sister to brother, best friend to best friend. The love you put into a relationship is the love you'll get out of it. Thank you for being such a role model in this way.</p>
<p>E.</p>
Staff
2018-07-10T17:58:00Z
Nature vs. Nuture
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Nature-vs.-Nuture/859236383232298837.html
2018-07-09T17:58:00Z
2018-07-09T17:58:00Z
<p>I am a 25 year old newly married 5th grade teacher. I listen to your show at lunchtime while I grade papers. My husband and I, partly because of you, have already made plans for me to sub part-time once we have our kids next year so that way one of us is always home with the kidlets (He is a fireman so he can take care of them on his days off).</p>
<p>I have two stories to share. The first is touching, the second is telling.</p>
<p>Our class was discussing the meaning of the word hereditary because it was in the story we were reading. The students were coming up with examples of things they inherit from their parents like their eyes, hair color, height, etc. I also explained to them negative things can be passed down through heredity such as risks for cancer, etc. Then one of my male students added to our discussion "Oh, you mean like being an alcoholic." (How heartbreaking!!) I responded saying the comment was incorrect because alcoholism is a choice. Then I looked directly at him, touched him on the shoulder and again said "Do you understand, that is a choice people make." And to think parents don't believe what they do at home affects their children.</p>
<p>The second story is telling for those folks who don't think there are any differences between girls and boys.</p>
<p>We were learning about the pioneers and were reading a story where a family of pioneer children were left alone while their father traveled ahead to find a place to settle. I let them choose groups (which ended up being groups of boys and girls) to discuss and write about how they would feel and what they would do if they were left alone in the wilderness. The girls groups said they would feel scared and would want their brothers to protect them! The boys groups said they would feel brave, would protect their families, and would go hunt for food! How is that for different instincts!</p>
<p>Thank you for all you do to advance to esteem and value of stay-at-home moms which I hope to be very soon!</p>
<p>K. <br />My husband's girlfriend, new wife, and 5th grade teacher</p>
Staff
2018-07-09T17:58:00Z
Raising a Bunch of Wimps?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-a-Bunch-of-Wimps/891822677173043958.html
2018-07-03T17:58:00Z
2018-07-03T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I overheard this at a coffee shop yesterday...<br /><br /><br />Woman #1: I'm so tired of playing the same games with my grandkids.<br /><br />Woman #2: Do you play Candyland? Chutes & Ladders?<br /><br />Woman #1: No, they're not allowed to play those games.<br /><br />Woman #2: Why?<br /><br />Woman #1: Because "it's too upsetting if they have to go backward and lose their spot." I swear, I'm so out of touch with this generation. All these 40-year-old college educated mothers are raising a bunch of wimps!</p>
<p>Couldn't help but laugh to myself.<br /><br />Paula</p>
Staff
2018-07-03T17:58:00Z
How Weight Affected My Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Weight-Affected-My-Marriage/263934136376283963.html
2018-07-02T17:58:00Z
2018-07-02T17:58:00Z
<p>My husband and I both gained weight after we were married because we LOVE good food, cooking together, and hosting. I gained much more weight than he did with bearing children, emotional eating, and a few other factors.</p>
<p>My weight did affect our marriage, though not in the way you would think. My husband never once told me I was unattractive or let my weight turn him off. He loved me as a spouse should with all my flaws. How it affected our relationship is I didn't love me. I was insecure about my choices, my body, and my excess baggage. I became much more needy, defensive, and unhappy. He felt helpless.</p>
<p>Fortunately, we've come a long way since first being married and will celebrate our 10th anniversary this August. Over the last few years I've pursued a much healthier lifestyle in every regard including how much I exercise, how I navigate adversity, how I solve problems, how I behave in relationships, how I get what I want, and how I manage my family's healthier diet. I've still got a way to go, but I'm stronger, more fit, more confident, and more satisfied with myself, and our marriage has also enjoyed the benefits.</p>
<p>Thanks for all you do!</p>
<p>Angela</p>
Staff
2018-07-02T17:58:00Z
How I Wrapped My Mental Wounds
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Wrapped-My-Mental-Wounds/960062196158979271.html
2018-06-29T17:58:00Z
2018-06-29T17:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I'm a 51 year old woman, who always considered myself to be a strong and capable person. I never really understood how friends and acquaintances would have a phobia or fear of flying, or a fear of heights, etc. I've always loved the thrill of heights (skydiving), adventure (white water rafting), and basically trying anything new.</p>
<p>That changed 1 1/2 years ago on a vacation to the Bahamas, where I experienced a near drowning incident. I was snorkeling with my husband and a group of people (we were on a trip to swim with the dolphins in the ocean), when I found myself in a position where I was alone, and lost all of my strength and couldn't swim back to the boat. After waving the distress signal, the chartered boat staff saw me but didn't take my distress signal seriously. That's when I began to truly worry about my safety, and panic set in! I thrashed about in the water, couldn't get my breath, and thought I was going to drown. The crew eventually rescued me. I was distraught, but being a strong person, I "got over it", and continued on with the vacation. We came back from vacation, and I told no one. In the last 1 1/2 years, I put the incident behind me and told myself to move on ... not so easy to do!</p>
<p>In the past year, I slowly began to experience small anxious moments, particularly in small spaces. And it came to a head when we went bobsledding at the Olympic site in Vancouver. The actual bobsledding didn't bother me, rather it was the tight space we were in. At that moment in the bobsled, everything came crashing around me emotionally and I experienced a full panic attack. I was embarrassed, but mostly scared for my mental condition. What was happening to me???</p>
<p>I immediately sought counseling, and was told I was essentially trying to "hold a beach ball under the water" for the last 1 1/2 years, by not acknowledging and dealing with the drowning event. In the last couple of months, I have told my family and friends about what I'm going through, I have informed my family doctor and my naturopath, and I'm in regular counseling to slowly recover from this new condition. And I have an amazingly supportive husband who is my rock! It's a slow process, but I've learned one MUST acknowledge what happened, get help and support, and focus on how strong one can be during a crisis (and not how victimized we may feel). I am drawing on the strength of others around me to help me realize that one unfortunate moment in my life does not define me. It has made me realize asking for help is okay, and I can turn this around with persistence and time.</p>
<p>Thank you for letting me tell my story. I hope it may help someone else!</p>
<p>Warm Regards,</p>
<p>Dawn</p>
Staff
2018-06-29T17:58:00Z
Not Enforcing Rules
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Not-Enforcing-Rules/-490848050064886379.html
2018-06-28T17:58:00Z
2018-06-28T17:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>As an administrator at a small charter school, I am constantly amazed at the liberal-mindedness of our educators and parents. At a school where high standards have been in place for 4 years that resulted in making AYP each year, a waiting list of 400 students, making an A+ on the state report card and having the highest test scores in the state, our new Director believes rules regarding dress code, discipline, being to school on time and prepared, gum chewing, hats in class and leniency should not be enforced. He and many like him believe high test scores, motivated and well-behaved students are not a result of consistent policies and procedures but pure luck. He believes "children should want to come to school and enforcing rules is not motivating."</p>
<p>New parents to our school disregard school start times and end times, homework and classwork expectations and want their children to be given every opportunity to redo work, turn it in late and demand apologies when their children's' feelings are hurt. I am talking about 6-12 graders! I am sorry, but the world has rules, people need to be to work on time and children need to be able to make decisions and suffer consequences for those decisions. Parents need to stop running interference for their children.</p>
<p>I can't help but compare our Director and governing council to our current politicians who don't enforce policies and procedures that are already in place, condemn those who do try to enforce those rules and pick and choose which rules to enforce depending on the individual circumstance. The actions of our politicians and business leaders have plummeted downstream to our young people, our educators and our local decision makers. We are becoming a society of "do only what is required" and "go along to get along." When I question authority, speak out against injustice and defend my practices, I am considered adversarial, argumentative and frankly, a bitch by many. I just hope there are many like me who choose to stand firm in their beliefs and maintain a strong moral compass during these times of degradation.</p>
<p>Thank you for being a voice of reason each day.</p>
<p>M.</p>
Staff
2018-06-28T17:58:00Z
The Father of a Female Teen
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Father-of-a-Female-Teen/988902591871842642.html
2018-06-27T17:58:00Z
2018-06-27T17:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My daughter is nearly 14 (another daughter is 12) and yet to bring up boys much, which is good, but I know she has questions like - when will a boy like me? And if I have my way, not for another 5 years.</p>
<p>I look forward to times when it's just me and her so we can talk about things from the "dad perspective" that she wouldn't normally bring up when we're all together. FYI, we are a family of faithful Catholics and she seems to be embracing the faith well. So, every issue we discuss is always grounded in our faith.</p>
<p>I also keep your advice in mind. So when it comes to boys, she needs to have a discerning mind about who this boy is and whether he is permanent material. At her age, boys are just friends and should never take the next "step". When she's out of school and on her adult path, then she may think about sharing her life with someone else. Until then...she's mine!</p>
<p>Blessings,</p>
<p>Bob</p>
Staff
2018-06-27T17:58:00Z
You CAN Do Hard Things
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-CAN-Do-Hard-Things/-93173813483056791.html
2018-06-26T17:58:00Z
2018-06-26T17:58:00Z
<p><span><br />When I called Dr. Laura about my emotional eating 3 months ago, she told me to call someone to watch my kids while I did pushups. That sparked a fire in me, and I committed myself to a journey to be a better mother and wife than I was. Today, I’m down 30 lbs and ran my first 5K ever. I am happy, off all anti-anxiety/antidepressant medication and can run circles around my kids instead of them run around me. <br /><br />I am 31 years old and have 5 children ages 6 and under. If I can do it, anyone can. Thank you, Dr. Laura, for changing my life and making me the best mom I can possibly be, and the hottest girlfriend to my husband again! Even though my 20 month old looks entirely unimpressed in this picture, I hope I’ve shown my children what I tell them all the time, “<em>You can do hard things</em>”.<br /> <!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />Here is the picture from my first (and not last) 5K today! I finished in 35 minutes which is amazing considering I couldn’t even run for 2 minutes at a time 2 months ago. <br /><br /><img style="vertical-align: bottom; margin: 5px;" src="/images/blog/IMG_9951test3.jpg" alt="" width="743" height="703" /><br /><br /><br /> <!--[endif]--></span></p>
Staff
2018-06-26T17:58:00Z
Living with Technology
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Living-with-Technology/-800063436746685775.html
2018-06-25T17:58:00Z
2018-06-25T17:58:00Z
<p>I have never joined the social media sites. I was fortunate to have family who allow me to be a voyeur on occasions where you have to be a FB member to participate - Thank you for not making me "have to" to communicate with you.</p>
<p>As a single mother of a daughter, I've had to educate myself in these areas for obvious reasons.</p>
<p>I really, really dislike the sterile communication. People have too many "faces" as it is. You can say whatever you want about whomever you like, or don't like and whoever the audience is buys it, perpetuates it, exaggerates it etc.</p>
<p>Teenage girls can be ruthless. The popularity contest alone is maddening! It also invites the creeps into their lives. Thank goodness my little girl is 23 now and most of that is behind her however, the gossip remains at issue. I simply reiterate the evil of gossip then move onto another topic. I won't allow her to whine about it, I will not converse or commiserate with her further. I know it's making a difference; all I can do is stand by and wait for the penny drop.</p>
<p>The worst is the death of a friend who had a FB account. My daughter has unfortunately had more experience with friends dying than I have. I mean, I never had "500 friends" so the statistics alone raise the possibilities. The connection continues after death. Some have overdosed on drugs, some have committed suicide. It's led to many serious conversations, all with healthy conclusions but the after death connection where, alerts come to your inbox every time a note is made on the deceased's FB wall brings the sadness back to the surface and her whole being is plunged back into the grief and sadness of the loss. It pains me a great deal and of course I must try to keep myself centered and unaffected. It's not always possible to hide the eye roll of "waaa not this again! " When caught, she has accused me of being cold and heartless. Although that hurts, I simply move on and encourage her to live, do not wither in their demise. Live and be intentionally happy. They threw it away don't let them steal your life; please disconnect from their FB Wall!</p>
<p>So, I'd say from my experience it's harmed my family. Many cannot live without connecting. It drives me nuts!</p>
<p>Professionally I have benefitted a great deal from technology. Family and friend connections, not so much!</p>
<p>Have a great day! Thank you for the positive input you offer to so many of life's moral challenges. I have listened and benefitted for 20 years and am most certainly a better person as a result.</p>
<p>Now I'm ready to go take on the day!</p>
<p>Many thanks,</p>
<p>Eva</p>
Staff
2018-06-25T17:58:00Z
What I Want to be When I Grow Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-I-Want-to-be-When-I-Grow-Up/-445132688442279035.html
2018-06-22T17:58:00Z
2018-06-22T17:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>When I was growing up, to earn my weekly allowance, my dad used to have me write an essay. One week, he assigned me to write about what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote a paper about how I wanted to be a housewife and stay at home mom. He gave me the paper back, and said it wasn't acceptable. He made me re-write it, choosing a "<em>real career</em>". Just to get my allowance, I wrote what he wanted; I knew he wanted me to be a lawyer as he was. But, I never forgot how mad that made me. <br /><br />By the way, when I had my kids, I did become a stay at home mom, and it has been the best thing I have ever done in my life. I have 2 fantastic children who reflect my (and my husband's) values.</p>
<p>You are the best Dr. Laura. Keep telling the truth,</p>
<p>J.<br />My Kids Mom too!</p>
Staff
2018-06-22T17:58:00Z
Making Life Easier for My Wife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Life-Easier-for-My-Wife/-117752300208456262.html
2018-06-21T17:58:00Z
2018-06-21T17:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I just wanted to take a minute to answer your question about what I did for my wife when we were expecting our first and now what I am doing as we expect number two!</p>
<p>I HATE feet. They are smelly and sweaty and disgusting but my wife LOVES to have her feet massaged, so every day after I would come home from work, I would sit on the couch as she laid on the other end putting her feet in my lap. I would watch some of my favorite shows as I massaged her feet between various calls for mango with chile pepper and running down to get a "Super Nachos" from her favorite nacho joint. I would attend as many of the prenatal appointments as was possible (I got to all but two of them!) and would ask the doctor questions myself about what was happening and what to expect. I also took an interest in what she was learning about what was going on with my little girl as she developed in the womb. This gave my wife and I something to talk about and helped me feel more involved in the pregnancy. She enjoyed this too because she could share her fears with me in a way I could understand. We were also able to share some good laughs as we both huddled around her belly playing Mozart and Led Zeppelin (ya know, the classics) to the baby. Just knowing I was there for her not only physically, financially, and spiritually but taking an active role in learning what was happening inside her really helped our marriage, friendship and understanding during the first pregnancy. I did everything I could so she could stay home in the final months and relax. She is still a stay-at-home Mom and we couldn't be happier about how my beautiful girl is doing.</p>
<p>During this pregnancy, my wife is still at home but with the added challenge of having a one and half year old running around asking to play "Ring around t he Rosie" every 5 seconds. I still try to make it to all of the appointments I can and massage her aching feet. On the weekends, I let her sleep as much as she wants while my daughter and I get some much needed daddy-daughter play time. We go to the store and do some grocery shopping or get the tires rotated or even go down to the ocean to watch the waves. Momma gives me a call when she gets up and then we head home to get Mom so we can all have a relaxing lunch. I also try to do the cooking on the weekends so my wife can enjoy "hanging out" again. Cooking is kinda fun because my daughter will sit on my shoulders and help me get things out of the cupboards and hold spatula's for me. She is handy like that!</p>
<p>Well, that kind of sums it up Dr. Laura. I have to thank you as well for helping inspire us to be the best kind of logical people we can be. I heard a quote once, I don't remember where, that said, "Always be yourself, but always be your better self!" I think that is good advice and something we try to do. Thanks for everything!</p>
<p>Tanner</p>
Staff
2018-06-21T17:58:00Z
Maintenance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Maintenance/368672676511032043.html
2018-06-20T17:58:00Z
2018-06-20T17:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am where I am now because of you, and a dear friend along the way of 11 years. <br /><br />I found myself slipping lately due to the economy and my career. So, I thrust my head into my books hunting for <em>Bad Childhood - Good Life</em>. My thirst to find it was almost comical. With an enormous deep sigh, I sank into my comfort chair and reread this book. I felt the strength wrap me in glory again. When I reread the book, it was so comforting to see the growth and the pride I have in my wonderful quality of life. Demons do tread and they don't tread lightly.</p>
<p>Why did I find myself hunting for strength? I was finding myself short in answers, impatient and flustered. My son said, "Mom, did you take your Thyroid pill today?" I just needed to get my power back.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>P.</p>
Staff
2018-06-20T17:58:00Z
Regret I Didn't Speak Frankly
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Regret-I-Didnt-Speak-Frankly/173564778950795877.html
2018-06-19T17:58:00Z
2018-06-19T17:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am 53-years-old and I wouldn't trade what I now know for being young again. There are many areas in which I have gained expertise through life experience, but the one thing I wish I could have been in my younger days was more assertive. <br /><br />I wish I would have opened my mouth more to say what I was really feeling. The reason I didn't was because I didn't want to seem like a whiner or a complainer. A simple example of this: driving in someone's car with the air conditioning blowing arctic air at me. I'd be shivering, but when asked if I was comfortable - I would reply with a smile and a head nod. Or when offered something to eat or drink, I could have been dying of starvation or thirst, but I would have said, "No, thank you." Those are silly examples, but truthfully, there have been so many times, I have always regretted not being able to tell the truth.</p>
<p>I finally realized I have not been true to myself. That I have suffered unnecessarily for the sake of being "polite." I guess this dawned on me when I had children and I coached them to advocate for themselves - of course, in a diplomatic, respectful way. I have learned from my own teachings and now have no problem speaking to people honestly. Whether it's a coworker who is pushy and bossy, or a rude person in line at a store, I have learned the lesson that being honest and forthright is good for communication and leaves speculation out of the human equation. I have heard you say so many times over the years that we need to have conversations with people. We are not mind readers.</p>
<p>Thank you for all of your sage advice. You have been my guiding light.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Danielle (a listener for over 20 years)</p>
Staff
2018-06-19T17:58:00Z
Day Care Proud?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Day-Care-Proud/842322585447610749.html
2018-06-18T17:58:00Z
2018-06-18T17:58:00Z
<p>My husband's adult son and daughter-in-law, brag about their three-year-old in day care. They pay extra for her to have computer classes and "tumble" classes. But they brag that their daughter knows and can name every child's parent who comes into the day care to pick up or drop off their kid. She says, "That's Sally's mother!" Know how she can do this? She is the first child dropped off at 5:30am when the day care opens and she is the last child picked up at 6pm, when the day care closes.</p>
<p>All I can hear is you in my head, when these parents share their "good" day care stories. I think they must share these stories to help cover their shame of how long their child stays in day care each week. But sometimes I doubt they even know what they are doing. Oh yeah, they are having another baby this month. He will be in day care at 6 weeks of age for the same time period!</p>
<p>A.</p>
Staff
2018-06-18T17:58:00Z
WonderWife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/WonderWife/756161913646996183.html
2018-06-15T17:58:00Z
2018-06-15T17:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>I know by being a loyal listener you get loads of mail from husbands who complain about their wives and girlfriends and I want to break that barrier. I want to tell you about my wife.</p>
<p>We have been married 37 years and although we haven't had a perfect marriage, my wife has always been there for me no matter what. She is my wife, lover, girlfriend, partner, and above all my best friend. I have not always been there for her, but that never stopped her from being there for me. I can't say enough about her and will raise my praises for her to anybody. I don't know what I would do without her and hopefully will never have to find out. She is an inspiration to me and shows she loves me every day. She is never too busy or too tired to show her support and love for me. I feel like this is a one sided street sometimes and work very hard to prove to her I am worthy of her. I won't go on, but I think you see I have a very special woman and to let you know they are still out there. I have the diamond of the crop.</p>
<p>Keep up the great work and thank you for being there for the people that need the help.</p>
<p>Randy</p>
Staff
2018-06-15T17:58:00Z
Easy to Love Him
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Easy-to-Love-Him/-871262000414672763.html
2018-06-14T18:58:00Z
2018-06-14T18:58:00Z
<p><br />When I first met my husband, I said to myself, “What a goof!” Silly me, I fell in love. Now I laugh every day.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, for decades of wise counsel. Your radio show and books opened my eyes, ears, and heart. Over time I heeded to your marriage advice: choose wisely and treat kindly. When I married my husband, I married his family of 2 young adult children. When I said “I do,” I fully agreed to not having babies. I chose to invest in my husband, his son, and his daughter. I have had no regrets. Their love has blessed me. Of course, I took my time with my decision to marry and took pre-marital counseling with my husband. During this time I realized I didn't need to be married to be fulfilled. However, I chose to marry my best friend because I wanted to laugh, love, and grow with him. We just celebrated our eighth anniversary.</p>
<p>Our first three years were emotionally challenging. I cried a lot. It was during this time I read your book, “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.” Wow! It was amazing how quickly our lives moved in a positive motion once I changed my habits. You guided me to be quiet, listen well, and play more. I learned to hear how I was received no matter my intent. I silenced my fearful “what ifs." Then, I poured on the small showers of affection. My passion was food to my husband's being. Now, he eagerly moves mountains for me. Being married to my husband has made me a better person. I adore how easy it is to love him. Two years ago my husband's daughter and son said to me, “We like who our Dad is when he is with you.” My heart jumped for joy.</p>
<p>I am so grateful to be my husband's girlfriend. He is my Sunshine. He lights up my world and keeps me giggling.</p>
<p>M.</p>
Staff
2018-06-14T18:58:00Z
Made Two Simple Changes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Made-Two-Simple-Changes/-997999790376779243.html
2018-06-13T17:58:00Z
2018-06-13T17:58:00Z
<p><br />This morning my husband said, "I'm so lucky I have the best wife in the world!" Dr. Laura, we are not newlyweds but have been married 35 years.</p>
<p>We always had a good marriage, but five years ago I read your book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. I made a vow at that time to do two things: I would never again say no to sex, and I would ban any negative talk about my husband from my speech or thoughts (the last being the harder part). I realized how I had gotten in the habit of thinking negative things: Why doesn't he do it the right way? Why can't he just get to the point? etc.</p>
<p>So, fast forward to today and I can truly say our marriage is stupendous, excellent, wonderful! These were simple things any woman can do, even if you don't feel like making the effort. Just do it! The pay off is definitely worth it. And you will find your love for the wonderful man you chose deepens into the best kind of life partnership anyone could wish for. So glad I read your book. Thank you.</p>
<p>P.</p>
Staff
2018-06-13T17:58:00Z
My Third Parent
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Third-Parent/571098757887143294.html
2018-06-12T17:58:00Z
2018-06-12T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I have been listening to your program since I was in a car seat in my dad's car. He was a big talk-radio junkie in the 90's and your show became one of my favorite things about driving with my dad. I remember sitting in the car with my head against the window, completely silent, listening to you talk to the hurting, the normal, the crazy, and the absolutely outrageous. They never stopped coming to you with their problems and needs. <br /><br />As I grew older, your conversations with callers became my lessons. Your honesty became a part of how my family lived life. The answer to a tough question would be "What do you think Dr. Laura would say?" You were the salvation to silly problems in my developing life, and when Mom and Dad's "uncool" answers weren't good enough- yours seemed to do the trick.<br /><br />As I got older, the choices I made became less of how you would have handled them/ answered them, and I started to act more like the callers you counseled. Even still, one of the memories that keeps me and my father's relationship together is the "Dr. Laura" take on things. You helped contribute to the father/daughter bond that can only be created by life's lessons.<br /><br />Thank you for having such a meaningful impact on my life. Without a doubt you are one of the most inspirational women in the business, and I have to thank you for helping guide me through life's choices for over fifteen years. Through helping others, you helped me grow to be the person I am today. As ridiculous as that sounds, I have you to thank for raising me along side of my parents. <br /><br />Thank you for all you did and continue to do,<br /><br />Kelly</p>
Staff
2018-06-12T17:58:00Z
Living at Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Living-at-Home/-789036543879754243.html
2018-06-11T17:58:00Z
2018-06-11T17:58:00Z
<p>After college, I had the opportunity to take a job in my hometown. The pay was so low, I would have to live at home. My mother said "No". She said if I didn't break out of my comfort zone and spread my wings at that time, I never would. A couple of weeks later, I got another opportunity in much larger city. I am so grateful for the "tough love" from my parents which pushed me to keep looking and launched a wonderful career in a profession I love.</p>
<p>Contrary to that: my ex-in-laws harbor their oldest son (he's pushing 50). They lost everything in the real estate collapse and only live off social security... and their grown son lives with them, does not work (he owes 30K in back child support) and doesn't even do chores. Their financial condition is such they may go on food stamps. It infuriates me, so I limit contact will all involved. They've made excuses for him all of his life and continue to do so to their detriment, and that of my child (their grandchild). I can't imagine a grandparent willing to tolerate and fully support a capable adult child who won't work, making them financially unable to drive to see their grandchildren.<br /><br />E.</p>
Staff
2018-06-11T17:58:00Z
Can You Hear Me Now?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Can-You-Hear-Me-Now/796746206367514005.html
2018-06-08T17:58:00Z
2018-06-08T17:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Is it just me noticing this or is this the sad new norm: Mothers deliberately ignoring their children whilst selfishly too busy on their cell phones to pay attention to their children...</p>
<p>If I was a child again, I could NOT imagine my mother too pre-occupied being busy on the phone ignoring me while out shopping... What must children of these parents be growing up thinking???</p>
<p>Clearly, it is telling children they are NOT important enough for parents to focus on them, to do their job raising and teaching by example HEALTHY behavior! No wonder children grow up not being potty trained or having any manners - parents are too busy being selfish and lazy to guide their offspring into contributing members of society.</p>
<p>How sad to witness parents on cell phones ignoring the glorious moments they should be cherishing with their children...</p>
<p>Love & respect your advice Dr. Laura- Keep the tractor going…</p>
<p>Hugs,</p>
<p>Lara</p>
Staff
2018-06-08T17:58:00Z
Helping My Messy Kid
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Helping-My-Messy-Kid/-99804457368050474.html
2018-06-07T17:58:00Z
2018-06-07T17:58:00Z
<p>I discovered a neat trick to help my 13-year-old boy pick up after himself. He's my youngest and I've always just picked up after him because it's been "<em>easier</em>". He would leave his trash, dirty dishes, clothes etc. right where he was, and when I would call him to clean up, it was like he honestly couldn't see the problem.</p>
<p>I finally realized I was not doing him any favors and when I started expecting him to clean up after himself I was met with "resistance" to say the least. My solution, I made it like an Easter Egg Hunt, "<em>Fix the problems in the room...there are 5</em>." I combine this with hotter/colder hints. I count as he fixes them and he's almost eager to "<em>play</em>". Also, I've even noticed he has started picking up after himself a bit better as time goes on, it's like he actually has started thinking and seeing things he was truly blind to in the past.</p>
<p>Tamara</p>
Staff
2018-06-07T17:58:00Z
Lessons for Raising Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lessons-for-Raising-Kids/240485674321585227.html
2018-06-06T17:58:00Z
2018-06-06T17:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>In the early 1990's, (my then) shack-up honey and I started listening to you. We were raising (my now) husband's, 10-year-old daughter. I immediately loved your program and listened every day. Both of us were so confused in raising a 10-year-old. From you we learned:</p>
<ol>
<li>Kids don't own anything while they are still in our care. </li>
<br />
<li>As parents, we have the right to search their room if we believe there is a reason for it. </li>
<br />
<li>When they dispute discipline and consequences, because of their wrong choices, there is no reason for arguing as we are the parents and they are the child.</li>
<br />
<li>We learned from you, a child needs to feel loved and secure, so we got married to give his daughter – now OUR daughter – security, my commitment to her, and stability.</li>
<br /> </ol>
<p>Dr. Laura, I’m thankful for you because she is now a 30-year-old mother who embraced true principles and fundamental values we learned from you and your caller's problems and dilemmas and our course our faith in God. If only I had heard you when I was raising my son who is now 40 years old.</p>
<p>Thank you for all you contribute to society about values and truth! I now put all I've learned from you in practice with my grandkids!</p>
<p>D.</p>
Staff
2018-06-06T17:58:00Z
I'm Done With Frogs, I Found My Prince
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Done-With-Frogs,-I-Found-My-Prince/687464078318543030.html
2018-06-05T17:57:00Z
2018-06-05T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I was 23 and stupid but smart enough to know I had to find a job to make some money before I started graduate school. At that job, the radio was set to your show. Thank God for that. I heard you say "you have to kiss a lot of toads before you find your prince". The quote is still in my Bible today, 11 years later.</p>
<p>I left that needy girl behind along with a bad relationship and a toxic guy. I found myself and because of that, found my prince. I completed Graduate school, got an excellent job in healthcare serving our nation's veterans and wounded warriors.</p>
<p>I have listened to you every day after work to keep my "girlfriend" skills fine-tuned. My husband and I have a beautiful baby girl and as I type this, I have just emailed my letter of resignation to a top-notch boss so I can now become My Kid's Mom - full time. Thank you, Dr. Laura. Without your advice, I know I would not have been shaped into the wise woman, wife, and mother I have come to be. Of all life's decisions I have made, the most difficult has been to put my career on the back burner. I work every day to improve the quality of life for our veterans of war and while this is of great need, ultimately, my daughter needs me more. I am certain without your mission, I would not have hit send on that email today.</p>
<p>From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I'll keep you posted on life as My Kid's Mom and My Husband's Girlfriend.</p>
<p>C.</p>
Staff
2018-06-05T17:57:00Z
Making School Work Around My Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-School-Work-Around-My-Kids/846173142732652279.html
2018-06-04T17:59:00Z
2018-06-04T17:59:00Z
<p><br />On Friday, Jennifer called in to tell Dr. Laura about how she recently graduated as Valedictorian with a BA in pre-law. In her speech, she shares the wisdom she learned from Dr. Laura with her classmates and talks about how she made school work around her children and not the other way around. Read her speech below.<br /><br />Good afternoon faculty, family, friends, and fellow graduates. When I got the call from Dr. Johnson informing me that I was the Accelerated Degree Program valedictorian, I cried. Not just because I was overcome with emotion, but because she told me I would have to give a 5-minute speech in front of thousands of people. I told her I don’t do well at public speaking because I get too emotional! Plus, it’s intimidating to figure out what to say for 5… whole… minutes, but then I thought, knowing me, I could factor in 4 ½ minutes for incoherent crying, meaning I would really only have to speak for about 30 seconds. I knew even I could do that. <br /><br />As you are all aware, this very special day precedes another very special day that is near and dear to my heart…Mother’s Day. As the mother of two extraordinary young men, I asked myself, “What could I offer these young graduates getting ready to embark on life for the first time as truly independent adults?”, because as someone twice your age, and then some, I’ve acquired a lot of wisdom over the years. So as a mother, I’d like to offer you some advice that will help you in life. Now, if you’re anything like my kids, you won’t listen either, but if I’m anything like your mother, I’m going to tell you anyway. And even if you are a more seasoned graduate, like me, I offer you these words of encouragement as you continue your journey.<br /> <br />In asking my children what lessons I had taught them over the years that they found to be most valuable, they gave me several responses, the most prevailing of which was this…be persistent and determined in achieving your goals. Ten years ago, when I first stepped foot on a college campus to begin the journey that has ended with me standing before you today, I was 39 years old. In that time, I have moved twice, nursed my children through three surgeries, renovated a home, gone through a divorce, lost my father, and faced countless other challenges, all the while remaining a present mother to my children. I still cooked their meals, did their laundry, chauffeured them around, and watched their football games and track meets. <br /><br />I spent many nights working on school work until 3 a.m. and was frequently unable to participate in events with my friends because I simply didn’t have the time. My education was my future and after waiting 22 years to get it, I wanted to prove to myself that I could not only succeed but excel. My goal was to graduate summa cum laude. I not only achieved it, I exceeded it because I was persistent and determined. There were times when I feared I would fail, like when I had to learn how to do legal research or how to do proper legal citations. There were several challenges that I thought would jeopardize my 4.0 average, but they didn’t, because I refused to let them beat me. The tougher the challenge, the more determined I became, and my payoff came every time I finished a class and was one step closer to reaching my goal. <br /><br />I would not have been successful, however, without professors who were ready and willing to offer help, feedback, and encouragement. I will never forget a conversation I had with my Legal Ethics Professor, David Smith, who spent an hour on the phone with me one day teaching me how to do legal citations. I’d called him for help because I knew without it, I would never get an A in his class. He told me, “I don’t give A’s, you have to earn them, and I almost never give A’s.” I finished that class with a 97.8 and I can tell you, it was one of the most satisfying A’s I’ve ever earned. <br /><br />There is also still somewhat of a stigma in people’s perceptions of online learning. My children thought it was funny to tease me that I went to Laptop University whose mascot was a mouse. While they are, in reality, my biggest advocates, I did have a lawyer condescendingly tell me several years ago that I would NEVER get accepted to law school with a degree that I had earned online. That sufficiently scared me enough to motivate me to call the law schools in my area and speak to the admissions departments. They all assured me that that lawyer was wrong, and I wish that he could see me standing here today. Tell me I can’t do something, and I will prove to you that I can. Be persistent and determined in achieving your goals. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER give up. <br /><br />I would like to take this opportunity to offer my gratitude to several people whose help and support meant a lot to me. Thank you to the many wonderful professors I have encountered here at Post, but especially Professor Marjorie Carson, Professor David Smith, and Professor Stephanie Dionne. The best professors are the ones that challenge you and make you want to rise to the occasion. I want to thank Dr. Johnson, and everyone involved in me receiving the honor of being valedictorian. I am truly humbled. Thank you, Tim O’Connor, for surprising me with spirit wear so that when people asked me where I went to school I could proudly show them I was a Post University Eagle. Finally, thank you to my boys, Daniel and Joshua, for your love, support, and encouragement over all these years. While today is a huge victory for me, you two will always be my greatest achievements. <br /><br />Congratulations Class of 2018! We did it!</p>
Staff
2018-06-04T17:59:00Z
Lucky to Have a Wife Like You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lucky-to-Have-a-Wife-Like-You/-529719450716642297.html
2018-06-01T17:58:00Z
2018-06-01T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My husband is in the military and is only allowed to write me letters and call maybe once every two weeks. Even though I am so proud of him and his service I started feeling a little disconnected, lonely, and resentful, but then I read your book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". <br /><br />I got to go see my husband for a weekend and I became his girlfriend with way more benefits. I just received a letter from him (the first one I've gotten since our weekend together) and it said "I had such a good time this past weekend. I love you. I still can't believe how I got so lucky in this world to have a wife like you. You are the sexiest woman in the whole world. THE WAY YOU LOVE, MAKES ME WORK HARDER TO BE A BETTER MAN TO YOU." Sounds like something right out of your book! So instead of resenting him for his job and being away, I started treating him like the REAL MAN he is...he is my provider and, not only my protector, but part of this Country's.</p>
<p>Thank you for all you do.</p>
<p>C.</p>
Staff
2018-06-01T17:58:00Z
Expecting More From Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Expecting-More-From-Me/214337497422096089.html
2018-05-31T17:57:00Z
2018-05-31T17:57:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I owe you my new life. You are the ONLY person who told me there are no excuses for being overweight. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia AND PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) when I was 20, plus I have a history of genetic obesity. Over the years I gradually gained more and more weight and even my own family would excuse my weight gain saying it's not my fault, genetics and PCOS made me gain more than average people and fibromyalgia made exercise too painful.</p>
<p>Last November I heard you telling a caller that you just need to start eating less and moving more. Well, at the weight I was, it really did hurt too much to exercise (I was 205 lbs. at 5.8), but I could eat less. I tracked calories and started eating more veggies and less junk. In 9 months, I had lost 50 lbs. This last month I started exercising and found I was much less sore now that I no longer carried around all that extra weight. I now go 5 times a week for a full 60 minute class, plus I am eating more healthy than I ever have. I am no longer a victim of my circumstances. I will break the 150 mark in the next few weeks, a weight I have not seen for 10 years and I am THRILLED. Thank you for expecting more from me than I expected from myself.</p>
<p>Sharon</p>
Staff
2018-05-31T17:57:00Z
A True Awakening
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-True-Awakening/973301335609343029.html
2018-05-30T17:58:00Z
2018-05-30T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I just want to thank you. I know I am "l<em>ate</em>" in reading your books "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1525290451&sr=1-1&keywords=the+proper+care+feeding+of+husbands" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>” and “<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Marriage/dp/0061142824/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1527706173&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Proper+Care+and+Feeding+of+Marriage" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage</a></em>,” but I can honestly say better late than never.</p>
<p>It has been a rough road the past year for me and my family. I was going through what I call a "<em>feminist phase</em>" driven and fueled by negative friends and family as well as my own resentments and insecurities. I filed for divorce thinking it was the thing to do without even consulting my husband on how I was feeling. Long story short, my time being separated from him made me realize how stupid and wrong I had been and just how much our daughters need him home. I dismissed the divorce, we went to marriage counseling and he eventually moved back home.<br /> <br />I now try to spend every day showing him how much his slaying of dragons means to me and he is truly my hero. I still fight my insecurities on a daily basis but I am no longer constantly nagging him for the constant reassurance of his love and approval or resenting my position in the home as a stay at home mom.<br /> <br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, for giving the gift of a true awakening...</p>
<p>Jane</p>
Staff
2018-05-30T17:58:00Z
Jiminy Cricket Voice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Jiminy-Cricket-Voice/966793824467629221.html
2018-05-29T17:58:00Z
2018-05-29T17:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Hearing your show daily for ten years gave me the conscience to:</p>
<p>1. be a stay at home mom, <br />2. stay married and "<em>Do the Right Thing</em>"<br />3. just generally be less selfish and more concerned with others.<br />4. work when my husband could be home with the children</p>
<p>My and my husband's two girls are well adjusted and doing well in school. I credit much of this to your "<em>Jiminy Cricket</em>" voice that encourages America to return to Godly values.</p>
<p>Thank you.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>N.</p>
Staff
2018-05-29T17:58:00Z
The Most Important Decision I Made
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Most-Important-Decision-I-Made/401136101316881299.html
2018-05-25T17:58:00Z
2018-05-25T17:58:00Z
<p>I have been a stay-at-home mom for the last 11 years. I had a good prestigious job at a prestigious institution. My husband and I had decided when the baby arrived I would quit my job. That is exactly what I did. This was the most important decision I made and I don't have an ounce of regret. My husband and I both agreed no day care provider would be able to provide the love and care I could give to our daughter.</p>
<p>My daughter is in middle school now but everyone sees the difference it has made in her personality and her level of self confidence. She is the best student in her class and is liked by her teachers. I have given her all the attention I could and tried to raise her with the best religious and moral values. Yes, we have less money to spend but neither my husband nor I are materialistic. We are teaching our daughter to also be less materialistic and more spiritual.</p>
<p>I know sometimes necessity drives women to leave their children in day care, but it really boggles my mind when women go to work and leave their children in the care of others because they want to fulfill their own desires. I was taken by surprise and sadness when I heard the story of one of my friends' sister-in-law who has two nannies to take care of her twins - one during the day when she is at work and one for the night when she needs her sleep. So why did she have these children?</p>
<p>I am very glad God has provided me the opportunity to be with my daughter and see her grow into a beautiful, confident, God-fearing young lady. No amount of money in the world can substitute for the treasure I have.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, for always standing for the right thing.</p>
<p>S.</p>
Staff
2018-05-25T17:58:00Z
Sibling Squabbles
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sibling-Squabbles/458140369541583044.html
2018-05-24T17:58:00Z
2018-05-24T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I have two brothers and three sisters, and it finally dawned on me, my Mother adores her sons and competes with her daughters. <br /><br />She didn't mind using us, but she clearly shows favoritism to her boys. And the funny part is their wives can barely stand her. And the less my Brothers want to do with her, the closer she tries to get. <br /><br />For years and years, she worked to cause dissension between us all. Since recognizing how she tried to get us all to fight, we finally said: "<em>Stop it</em>". <br /><br />She no longer talks to any of us girls. And although we love our Mother, we have accepted it and have gotten a lot closer as siblings. We have even gotten to know our Aunts and cousins, whom she isolated us from. She treated our Grandmother badly too, and we barely knew her. <br /><br />So from her bad example, we have found a great future.</p>
<p>L.</p>
Staff
2018-05-24T17:58:00Z
I So Admire My Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-So-Admire-My-Husband/-337103654213738925.html
2018-05-23T17:58:00Z
2018-05-23T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Do I have a MAN for a Husband? Yes, I do. We'll be married 31 years in February.<br /><br />His father and maternal grandmother did not approve of me as a prospective wife and did everything in their power to discredit and humiliate me. All because I had been previously married, had a daughter and was not an 18-year-old Catholic virgin. His mother, on the other hand, was one of the sweetest most loving people I have ever met in my life which is where my husband got his character. He disowned his father, who was truly evil, and his grandmother and has devoted his life to making me happy. As a result, I cannot do enough for him including reading The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands when he was about to retire. That book has helped me keep focused on the important stuff and ignore the petty. I also have to tell you my husband has brought me down from my high horse on numerous occasions by saying "Now, now would Dr. Laura approve?" That makes me laugh every time.</p>
<p>Thank you!</p>
<p>Sally</p>
Staff
2018-05-23T17:58:00Z
Why God Made Moms
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-God-Made-Moms/-432378718362086669.html
2018-05-22T17:58:00Z
2018-05-22T17:58:00Z
<p>This was sent in from Marie. Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:</p>
<p><strong>Why did God make mothers?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.</li>
<li>Mostly to clean the house..</li>
<li>To help us out of there when we were getting born.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>How did God make mothers?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.</li>
<li>Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.</li>
<li>God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>What ingredients are mothers made of?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.</li>
<li>They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>We're related.</li>
<li>God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>What kind of a little girl was your mom?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.</li>
<li>I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.</li>
<li>They say she used to be nice.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>What did Mom need to know about Dad before she married him?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>His last name.</li>
<li>She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?</li>
<li>Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>Why did your mom marry your dad?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.</li>
<li>She got too old to do anything else with him.</li>
<li>My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>Who's the boss at your house?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because Dad's such a goof ball.</li>
<li>Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.</li>
<li>I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>What's the difference between moms and dads?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them..</li>
<li>Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.</li>
<li>Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>What does your mom do in her spare time?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>Mothers don't do spare time.</li>
<li>To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>What would it take to make your mom perfect?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.</li>
<li>Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.</li>
<li>I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.</li>
<li>I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.</li>
</ol>
Staff
2018-05-22T17:58:00Z
Eating Humble Pie
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Eating-Humble-Pie/392499980251705772.html
2018-05-21T17:58:00Z
2018-05-21T17:58:00Z
<p>The last few weeks have been rough. I'm a teacher and students have early Spring Fever. This is a common occurrence: students getting restless when the weather warms up. However, this coupled with seemingly non-ending encounters with thoughtless co-workers and extended family has had me diving head-first into a pool of negativity.</p>
<p>Our community has a Teacher of the Year award. I was not nominated this year -again. My dear friend and co-worker was - for the second year. She's 2 for 2; I'm 0 for 2. Though I was happy for her, I was livid I had been overlooked. Why not me? I'm thoughtful and thorough, I work hard, and I know my subject!</p>
<p>I complained to my husband and non-teacher friends about this. They all agreed I had been slighted. Then I heard you on the radio talking about your friend Karen whom had worked for the DMV and was honored as the Employee of the Year. Karen was in the final stages of cancer. While accepting her award, she said, "When you have a job, it's an honor to have that job, and you should do it to the best of your ability without resentment and without attitude. You should be grateful you have a job and understand the value of what you do to serve other people when you have that job."</p>
<p>I've been thinking about Karen's attitude and my own. I have not been grateful for my job lately. I've been angry I have been overlooked and underappreciated rather than thanking God I have the daily gift of influencing the life of a student.</p>
<p>I am grateful I was present to see the surprised expression when my friend and co-worker won the Teacher of the Year award tonight. She deserves it. She's been a better teacher this year. She's had bigger projects and special assignments. She's designed seasonal bulletin boards and locker pendants. She's planned extra activities - things I am not willing to do because it will detract from my family. My friend is a single lady who is using this season of life wisely. She knows a family will be her priority one day.</p>
<p>I am baking a celebratory cake to take to the teacher's lounge tomorrow. Thanks for sharing Karen's story. Her life will continue to influence more people than we will ever know.</p>
<p>Brooke</p>
Staff
2018-05-21T17:58:00Z
Words for Teenagers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Words-for-Teenagers/-888093131153468913.html
2018-05-18T17:58:00Z
2018-05-18T17:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>This was shared by someone on Facebook and I thought you would love it!</p>
<p>"Northland College Principal John Tapene has offered the following words from a judge who regularly deals with youth:</p>
<p>'Always we hear the cry from teenagers "What can we do, where can we go?"</p>
<p>'My answer is this: Go home, mow the lawn, wash the windows, learn to cook, build a raft, get a job, visit the sick, study your lessons, and after you've finished, read a book. Your town does not owe you recreational facilities and your parents do not owe you fun.</p>
<p>'The world does not owe you a living, you owe the world something. You owe it your time, energy and talent so that no one will be at war, in sickness and lonely again. In other words, grow up, stop being a cry baby, get out of your dream world and develop a backbone, not a wishbone. Start behaving like a responsible person. You are important, you are needed. It's too late to sit around and wait for somebody to do something someday. Someday is now and that somebody is you!' "</p>
<p>Sounds a lot like a loving dose of Dr. Laura to me!</p>
<p>Sue</p>
Staff
2018-05-18T17:58:00Z
Stopping My Food Cravings
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stopping-My-Food-Cravings/610190903253881237.html
2018-05-17T17:58:00Z
2018-05-17T17:58:00Z
<p>Let me just preface this by admitting that I am a food addict and my weight showed that. I was 200 and something pounds at 5'4," but about 3 or 4 years ago I made some changes, some of which were very much inspired by you, Dr. Laura. I started with exercising. I have lost over 60 lbs., I have run 4 marathons and qualified to run the Boston Marathon this coming April. I guess you could say I transformed myself from obese to athlete.</p>
<p>1) Exercise is HUGE in preventing cravings. I start my day every morning with a good solid exerting workout and something happens deep within me that sustains me throughout my day. I am more in tune with my body and I naturally crave the healthy foods my body needs, and besides who wants to waste a hard earned 70 minute, 7 mile morning run in only 30 seconds by eating a bunch of crap. If it doesn't heal my body from today's workout, or help fuel tomorrow's, I won't eat it--99% of the time.</p>
<p>2) "Nothing taste's better than thin" is a phrase I adopted from the ladies at my ballet barre class. It's what I tell myself sometimes when I'm considering eating something I know I shouldn't. But the #1 most effective way to resist eating junk at the very moment the junk is screaming your name is what I invented for myself, my...</p>
<p>3) "Want Meter"...for psychological reasons I have never banned anything I thoroughly enjoy from my diet. If I tell myself I am quitting ice cream, I will never stop thinking about eating ice cream, so over the last 3 years that have been successful, cutting anything completely from my diet has been out of the question. I tell myself that I am allowed to have it, only after assessing how bad I really want it, which is where my "Want Meter" comes in. When I first see the food and it's screaming my name, I usually want it at a level of 8, 9, or 10 on a "Want Meter" scale of 1-10. The rule is this: Drink a minimum of 16 oz. of water, and re-assess how bad you want it. If it is still about 7 or above--which it rarely ever is after drinking that much water and realizing that you were just thirsty-then go for it, but when you do indulge, savor every bite and after drinking that much water, you're much more able to control your inner desire to over indulge.</p>
<p>Thanks for all your inspiration to stay fit, be happy and feel great!</p>
<p>--Kelly</p>
Staff
2018-05-17T17:58:00Z
Could the Tide Be Turning?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Could-the-Tide-Be-Turning/-288578738899221483.html
2018-05-16T17:58:00Z
2018-05-16T17:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My admiration for you reached new heights after I was attacked on a conservative website for saying children are better off when their mothers stay home. I know whereof I speak; my mother worked, and I found it difficult to deal with her absence. I shared that experience, and in response, another woman stated she had friends who felt they we better mothers when they worked. I asked her if those women had ever asked their children how they felt about it. At that point, a couple of women said children don't know what is best for them. Someone pointed out studies have shown children do better with stay at home mothers. The women dismissed those studies as meaningless. These women didn't care what scientific studies say, and they didn't care how the kids felt either; the only thing they cared about is what they wanted.</p>
<p>The other women on that site told me I was bitter and I had no right to say children are better off with stay at home mothers. They said I was projecting my ugliness onto others. I was starting to get discouraged, when a couple of people came to my defense.</p>
<p>Later, when I reviewed the conversation, I realized I received far more "likes" than my opponents did. So there is hope, but there wouldn't be if it weren't for you. Thank God for you, Dr Laura. Thank you for defending children and the women who want to care for them.</p>
<p>Judy</p>
Staff
2018-05-16T17:58:00Z
It Took A While to Sink In
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Took-A-While-to-Sink-In/-925837742568722447.html
2018-05-15T17:58:00Z
2018-05-15T17:58:00Z
<p><br />My life completely changed 8 years ago. I was married, had 2 children, a career that kept me in the office 9 hours a day, 5 days a week. While I was in my office I always listened to you. I had a wonderful Nanny raising my children, but when I would talk to my husband about staying at home with my kids, he would just laugh. I obviously was not going about this the correct way.</p>
<p>Then, one day I got a slap on the face. I found out my husband was having an affair with a married mother of 2 from my kids' elementary school. I was devastated. I wanted to work this out, he was my husband and the father of my children. One week later, I was laid off of my job of 12 years. One week after that I turned 40 (I thought that was going to be my highlight of the year). As it turned out, my husband wanted out. My kids were only 8 & 5.</p>
<p>We get along great now, he is on his 2nd divorce to yet another woman. I did not have the energy to put on a suit and a happy face to look for a job. Soooo, I started my own business from home! I have been able to work out of my house and be with my children. I feel God had a hand in this, knowing my kids would be better off having me home while their dad was gone. My oldest is going off to college next year and both are doing exceptional at school (an all girls' high school).</p>
<p>I have learned from you and my own experience, one may be able to do it all, career, marriage, mother, but one cannot do them all well. My marriage fell apart. 8 years ago, I would cry and ask God to end my life. I now say he did end the life I had and gave me a better one. I have been able to be my own boss and be there for my daughters. I have not dated - I don't believe that is being a good role model, especially when raising girls.</p>
<p>I was proud of my college bound daughter when I overheard her conversation about careers with her sister. My 14 year old was saying she does not want to be dependent on a man - but my 18 year old replied, "I'm ok with having a husband who can support me while I raise our children." Though I listened to you for years, I was not functioning as I should have. But now I am! Maybe after all those years it finally sunk in.</p>
<p>A.</p>
Staff
2018-05-15T17:58:00Z
Timing IS Everything!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Timing-IS-Everything!/430844876035774879.html
2018-05-14T17:58:00Z
2018-05-14T17:58:00Z
<p><br />First off let me say I have always seemed to listen to you at the wrong times in my life. I listened 20 years ago and then for some reason I stopped. If I had been listening 17 years ago I would possibly not have married the woman I married, I chose wrong.</p>
<p>Then I started listening again for a few years, and then stopped again. If I had been listening 8 years ago, I would possibly not have gotten divorced, I would have fought for my marriage.</p>
<p>Fast forward 8 years and I am finally listening at the right time in my life. I am my kids' dad, I live a mile away from them and spend as much time as possible with them. I have put my personal life on hold until they are out of school, I did not feel it would be fair to them to involve them in another family and the headaches that come with trying to blend 2 families. Their mother unfortunately has not had the same commitment to them. She has had a parade of men through the years that have come into their lives and then had to live through the fallout when these men leave.</p>
<p>Recently, it came to my attention their mother has had them spending the night at the home of the most recent man. Their mother and I have been able to be civil, but when it comes to me calling her on anything she can get very combative. Let me say that in our marriage she was very emasculating and definitely wanted to be the man of the family, and to my detriment, I let her. DR. LAURA TO THE RESCUE!! I put on my big boy undies, "Manned Up" and confronted her tonight about not "shacking up" while she had the kids. Of course she got defensive and started trying to justify it. I explained she had 2 choices. Stop "shacking up" and everything would be fine, or not stop, and I would go to court and ask a judge to put a stop to it. I am sure the battle has just started. I will keep listening for my daily dose of encouragement from you and continue to fight for my kids. I have every confidence that if I keep listening and I am lucky enough one day to find another love, it will be done the right way -- the Dr. Laura way.</p>
<p>Thanks again,</p>
<p>Loren</p>
Staff
2018-05-14T17:58:00Z
First Love, Young Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/First-Love,-Young-Love/116039759188110828.html
2018-05-11T17:58:00Z
2018-05-11T17:58:00Z
<p>I met my first love working at a fast food restaurant just after high school. She was caring and a hard worker like me. She was very beautiful and had eyes that smiled all the time.</p>
<p>During our relationship which was like a whirlwind, we experienced many places and had many good times. From romantic meals to walks on the ocean, we shared some very special moments. She was also very responsible. While finishing up high school and going into college she was the one who supported her mother and brother. Family was important to her. Most of all she was very friendly to my all my friends. She became part of the group very quickly and I saw no one else who could be in my life. My friends echoed the sentiment and to this day they say the same thing. I wanted to be with no one but her and would have married her had time allowed.</p>
<p>The more I was with her, the more I did not want to be apart. Alas this was an issue, for we moved in together and that became our downfall. I had adored her too much and had in essence cut many others out of my life to be with her. When we broke up she said "You did nothing wrong but maybe you should have not been so nice." I ran into her just the other day after many years and still got the same sweaty palms and jitters as we talked. Though we laughed about how times had passed, I knew that in the end life turned out just fine!</p>
<p>Mr. D.</p>
Staff
2018-05-11T17:58:00Z
Finding My Knight in Shining Armor by Waiting in the Car
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finding-My-Knight-in-Shining-Armor-by-Waiting-in-the-Car/-153543373827236217.html
2018-05-10T17:58:00Z
2018-05-10T17:58:00Z
<p>The first date with my [now] husband went something like this:</p>
<p>He picked me up at the door and I handed him an umbrella [it was drizzling outside]. He looked at me and said, "Is this for you?" I said, "Yes." He took it and held it for me while he walked me to the car. He opened the door for me to get in the car; [which I find most men do, however most men DO NOT open the door to let the woman OUT of the car. I think this is because most women do not wait for them to walk around to do so. I used to be this way because it felt too awkward for me to wait and I was too nervous so it was just easier to let myself out and not think about it. Well, not this time!] When we got to our date place, he parked and got out on his side and I waited. I just sat there... for what seemed like a pretty long time. I saw him pause to wonder why I was not getting out, and suddenly he came SPRINTING around to my side of the car and squeezed himself between the parked cars balancing on one foot to open the door to let me out... I giggled while he was a bit frantic. The rest of the night he pulled out my chair and waited for me to sit before he sat. He paid and was very gentlemanly. He also would randomly comment on the fact he had never had any woman wait or demand the door be opened for her when getting out of the car. This made him happy, and it must have meant that I was "the real deal" as he put it. We girls just have to give our men the OPPORTUNITY to be our heroes.</p>
<p>We dated for 1.5 years and have only been married for 4 months, but he STILL opens ALL doors for me, and if I forget and let myself out of the car he gets upset, and asks if something is wrong or if I am mad at him [aww...]. So NO, Dr. Laura, Chivalry is NOT dead. I know I am late to the game to get this email to you, but I wanted to tell you how chivalrous my hubby was on our very first date, and that he's STILL that way today... And that one simple little move of WAITING for him to figure it out and be THE MAN, put me in a league of my own in his mind and then his heart.</p>
<p>On an aside, he also cleans the kitchen after I cook, fixes my bike and makes sure it always has air in its tires, calls me every day to tell me he loves me, tells me how happy he is I am his wife every day, says grace when we sit down to our nightly meal EVERY DAY... and holds me when I am upset and cry about the messy stuff of life. He tells me, as he has been since our first date, that his late grandmother would have been proud to know me because I am woman with high standards, and I make him meals that she also used to make.</p>
<p>Cheers!</p>
<p>Jenny</p>
Staff
2018-05-10T17:58:00Z
Good for Potty Training!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Good-for-Potty-Training!/322029005516211554.html
2018-05-09T17:58:00Z
2018-05-09T17:58:00Z
<p><br />My 3-year-old still requires me to position him on the big toilet. If he's going to "<em>be a while</em>" part of his routine is to listen to your podcast with me. The second time he specifically requested this, I asked: "<em>Why do you want to hear Dr. Laura in the bathroom??</em>" To which he quickly replied, "<em>Because people listen to her to help them do 'fings!</em>" It must work because he's never had a potty relapse!</p>
<p>By the way, he's another one of your young fans to say "<em>DR. Laura is ON, right now!</em>"</p>
<p>Rhonda</p>
Staff
2018-05-09T17:58:00Z
The Synchronicity of Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Synchronicity-of-Life/495477828003939273.html
2018-05-08T17:58:00Z
2018-05-08T17:58:00Z
<p>My husband and I have had two crazy years. To make a long story short, we decided to let go of a job he had for over 12 years because we could not handle the immorality of how they did business. He started a new company and money has been tight. He has also had to travel a lot. Despite it all, we have never been better. We tell ourselves all the time "Happy are those who dream dreams, and are willing to pay the price to make them come true".</p>
<p>I, of course, am a daughter of Dr. Laura so the love and support I have for my husband is unwavering. He has all my respect and admiration and I am blessed to have such a man.</p>
<p>Listening to your program today I heard you tell a woman about the movie with Ben Affleck which depicts a year in his character's life, trying to survive corporate downsizing and how his wife was what saved him. I started to tell my husband about it briefly in a passing phone conversation, but I could not remember the name of the movie... I could only say, "Dr. Laura mentioned a movie we should watch." Tonight my husband called me and said, "I just watched the best movie. It was so good. It really inspired me for our situation." He went on to say it was "Company Men"! I could not believe it. This was the title to the movie you recommended. He wants to watch it with me when he gets home. He said it really made him feel like we were going to be alright!</p>
<p>Thank you so much Dr. Laura. Those words would never be enough. I know I owe everything good in my life to you. I may not have my mom, but I have you.</p>
<p>Monica</p>
Staff
2018-05-08T17:58:00Z
Adopting a Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Adopting-a-Family/-884510725951961164.html
2018-05-07T17:58:00Z
2018-05-07T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I first learned I would be a father via a phone call. Not that unusual, I know, but there's a twist: this was a call from a county worker. She left both me and my wife a voicemail saying, "<em>Hey it's [me] - give me a call.</em>" We were in the adoption process and had completed our training. The casual nature of the message made us both think that maybe we'd forgotten to sign a form or something. Not quite.</p>
<p>Once we called her back we learned that there was a sibling group of 3, (which fit our stated parameters), ages 8 months to 4 years. They needed a "<em>priority placement</em>" or they would be adopted separately. After much talk and prayer, we knew our home was where they belonged.</p>
<p>After a short but still gradual transition, they moved in and spent their first night together under our roof.</p>
<p>They are now 6, 7, and 10-years-old. All are excelling in school, (as in literally off the charts), and My Lovely Daughter (MLD) is a BLACK BELT at 10! The boys are doing well and will be black belts at about the same time. I'm teaching MLD to shoot and each has a mini-compound bow.</p>
<p>I always imagined having a family and this one is better than any I could have dreamed up.</p>
<p>Chris</p>
Staff
2018-05-07T17:58:00Z
Lessons in Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lessons-in-Love/263834226216156438.html
2018-05-04T17:58:00Z
2018-05-04T17:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I want to thank you for your book "Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives." I have reread the Stupid Chivalry chapter over and over again, along with the whole book. I was in a relationship with a woman who had issues due to past emotional abuse. I tried to help her, but had to learn to put aside my stupid chivalry to understand that she would not change. When it came to emotional and physical abuse being put on me by her, I had to put my foot down and make a decision. I did and left. I should have seen the warning signs, and they are now clearer, but at the time, stupid chivalry got in the way.</p>
<p>I could say a lot more but I'm sure you get a lot of these letters. I have learned a few things, and two that come up right now: 1) there are a lot of women I can fall in love with, but I have to choose the one who is right for me; I need to be more choosey in my choices, and 2) while looks attract a man at first, it is the mind of the woman (who she is inside) that is key.</p>
<p>Thank you, Please keep up the good work. I'm a member of your site and I enjoy it!!</p>
<p>Thank you,</p>
<p>Rolf</p>
Staff
2018-05-04T17:58:00Z
Cementing My Faith
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cementing-My-Faith/-439928586433841326.html
2018-05-03T17:58:00Z
2018-05-03T17:58:00Z
<p><br />The year was 1970, and the event was the Apollo 13 space mission to the moon. As we all now know, a defect in one of the oxygen tanks led to an explosion which nearly killed the three lunar astronauts.</p>
<p>I recall as a 12-year old boy how my dear momma, who fed my interest in science and history by taking me and my brothers to many museums, told me of the explosion. This shook me very much as I thought our NASA space program was run by gods, and that no harm could ever befall our Superman astronauts!</p>
<p>My momma told me that only through a miracle could our brave men return safely to earth and be reunited with their families. As my family was very important to me, I was able to quickly identify with the grieving and anxious families awaiting their loved ones in space. This was the first time I recall ever praying outside of church.</p>
<p>So I prayed alongside with my momma, as only I knew how on my knees and with sincerity of heart, asking God to spare the lives of three dads who needed to safely return to their wives and children. After several days of vigil, our prayers were answered and although the landing on the moon was canceled, the three brave astronauts came home. I would later learn that many other children throughout the world were also praying for the Apollo 13 astronauts.</p>
<p>My faith was reinforced as a child, secure in the knowledge that God does listen to our prayers. Of course, now that I'm an adult, I know God doesn't always grant us our requests, but for a few days in 1970 during a national tragedy that had a happy ending, my faith was cemented for life.</p>
<p>Arturo</p>
Staff
2018-05-03T17:58:00Z
Stirring Up Controversy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stirring-Up-Controversy/743994952193756131.html
2018-05-02T17:58:00Z
2018-05-02T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Recently, I threw a bridal shower for my husband's sister. It was just family and a few close friends of hers. I brought along my usual gift of "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1525290451&sr=1-1&keywords=the+proper+care+feeding+of+husbands" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>". Well, little did I realize the controversy it would raise with this group. <br /><br />There are quite a few feminists among my husband's family and among his sister's friends. Grandma was calling me names, the bride's friend was calling you all sorts of names, and my other sister-in-law was expressing that we cannot "<em>cater</em>" to a man. After a few minutes of trying to defend my views and your name, I politely changed the subject.</p>
<p>While replaying the scene for my husband later that evening, he said, "<em>Well, it doesn't really matter what those people think, because Dr. Laura is always right, and if those women listened to half of what she said their husbands would be as happy as I am</em>." As I looked into his eyes, I knew he wasn't just saying this...he meant it! I am so grateful that my man is happy! We have a wonderful marriage and two sweet children. While some of the feminist women I mentioned have failed marriages and visibly unhappy husbands, mine hurries home after work every day and gives me a big, sexy movie kiss and I know he's happy to be home!</p>
<p>Well, my husband's sister has agreed to read the book with an open mind and I hope it helps in her marriage as much as it has helped in mine. Thank you for fulfilling your calling on this Earth of helping direct people to choose the better way. I am forever grateful to you!</p>
<p>Melissa</p>
Staff
2018-05-02T17:58:00Z
College and a Husband... Both by Chance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/College-and-a-Husband...-Both-by-Chance/-513187355103430360.html
2018-05-01T17:58:00Z
2018-05-01T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><em>"Did you ever observe to whom the accidents happen? Chance favors only the prepared mind." </em>- Louis Pasteur</p>
<p>I graduated in the top ten of my high school class, and was accepted into my first choice expensive private college. However, the financial aid package still meant I could not afford to attend this school without going into major debt. In late June, after high school graduation, the director of the honors program to which I had been admitted called to ask me why I hadn't registered for classes yet. I admitted I could not afford to attend the school. She made a few phone calls and one of the admissions officers set up interviews with two philanthropic groups. Between the scholarships I had earned and the original aid package, I only had to pay a quarter of the total tuition for four years. That one call changed my life. I later learned as an alumna that often groups award money to incoming freshmen who end up committing to other universities, and then the scholarship money comes available. No doubt I earned those kinds of awards thanks to the care and interest of two admissions counselors on campus.</p>
<p>My husband and I have known each other since elementary school; however, we never dated each other. We grew up several blocks apart. As an adult, I moved back home to save money for my future as I started my teaching career. While roller-skating for exercise in full 80s neon spandex, I saw my friend washing his car outside. I could have just skated by, but by chance I decided to talk. We chatted about our cars (both convertibles) and other things. I was saving to buy a new car at the time. Six months later, I was driving my spiffy new convertible home from work. I started car flirting with the guy in the convertible next to me. Well, it was my friend. We waved each other down and I followed him home... another chancy move. We started chatting again and exchanged numbers. He lived downtown not far from where I went to college, and we talked about going out in the city. The next week he called me up, and we started dating. This month we will be celebrating our 20th anniversary.</p>
<p>So indeed, chance does favor the prepared mind!</p>
<p>Lori</p>
Staff
2018-05-01T17:58:00Z
A Lost Courtesy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Lost-Courtesy/-249885676711398174.html
2018-04-30T17:58:00Z
2018-04-30T17:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Once your show, you asked a caller to "name three children who write thank you notes." I can name two: My children.</p>
<p>Thank you notes were very important in my house growing up and I actually enjoyed writing them. I have instilled this in my own children. I have always explained to them people want to be thanked for their gifts and they should never just expect presents. Many people also spend their precious time picking out gifts and being thankful for that is so very important.</p>
<p>I have come up against some criticism from my husband's family for this. My mother-in-law actually told me NOT to send thank you notes because as I was told, "we do not do that in our family". My response was she would continue to receive them because we do send thank you notes in our family. I did notice we started to receive thank you notes every once in awhile from my father-in-law and sometimes from nieces and nephews.</p>
<p>Regardless, the best lesson was learned when a co-worker offered their Yankee seats to my family one night as they were a season ticket holder and couldn't use them. I took the tickets because my daughter, about 8 at the time was a huge fan and had never been to a game. After the game I had her write a heartfelt thank you note. I had her tell the gentlemen what she loved about the stadium and how much going to the game meant to her. She wrote a beautiful note telling him about how she saw Alex Rodriguez, her favorite Yankee hit a homerun. She also drew an adorable picture. Off the note went. About two weeks later a package arrived for her. Inside was an autographed Alex Rodriquez picture and some candy and microwave popcorn for my daughter to eat while watching the upcoming playoff games. This man was so impressed by her letter he actually purchased the picture and then went to a game early to get the autograph for her and then framed it. My daughter really learned how much people like to be appreciated for what they do for others. Of course, another thank you note was quickly sent.</p>
<p>And I never have to ask her twice to send one to anyone.</p>
<p>Regards,</p>
<p>Kathy</p>
Staff
2018-04-30T17:58:00Z
Getting Mom to Shut Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Getting-Mom-to-Shut-Up/736739560852878481.html
2018-04-26T17:58:00Z
2018-04-26T17:58:00Z
<p>My parents split when I was 11 years old. My mom often spewed venomous, hateful comments about my dad, who not only never said anything negative about her, but insisted we treat her with respect.</p>
<p>After I had been listening to you for a couple of years, I finally had the ammunition to shut her up. As we nibbled pumpkin pie and sipped coffee after Thanksgiving dinner one year, as she was on one of her rants, she paused to take a breath. I chimed in with, "Well, YOU picked him." She suddenly stopped. I waited for an attack (by this time I was hearing a lot about being "my father's daughter"), but she just said, "You're right - I did." And she never said anything about him again.</p>
<p>Thank you for bringing that bit of peace into my life.</p>
<p>Ann</p>
Staff
2018-04-26T17:58:00Z
How Long Do I Have with my Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Long-Do-I-Have-with-my-Kids/-812738108895150887.html
2018-04-25T17:58:00Z
2018-04-25T17:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I was raised in the liberal Boston area. We were all supposed to have it all. Well, after having kids, I did work periodically: once using an institutional daycare center. My youngest, 18 months at the time cried for 1 week straight. The workers told me he would get use to it. He didn't. And I still didn't get it I should stay home. I found a home situation for my boys (18 months and 3). That worked for little while until I got laid off. A year later, I went back to work and hired an American college grad nanny who lived in our house. Well, that worked until I asked her what the kids' preschool teachers had to say about them and she didn't really care, nor did she ask the teachers questions only a mother would ask. Unbelievably, I was kind of perturbed at her at the time. Later I realized she was a paid driver NOT their mother. We moved overseas for a year and half and coming back I still hemmed and hawed about working.</p>
<p>Finally, the epiphany occurred on a religious retreat. I asked God what he wanted me to do... This was a no speaking retreat. Great for us talkers for sure...</p>
<p>I knew going home the best thing I could do for my kids and me was to stay home. Here is how I came to my conclusion. It is actually pretty logical. What is the average life span for women in this country? Oh, about 80-85. So here I was 35 and I asked myself how long do I have my kids? About 20 years or so; then they would be off and running... Since they were 4 and 5 then, I only had about 15 years to be with them. That leaves 30 years to do whatever it is I want to do in my life. The weight of all the women libber BS was removed from my shoulders. I realized I really had been sold a bill of goods about having it all. I could have it all, just not all at the same time!!!</p>
<p>I told myself I would pray for some kind of work I could do from my house and not interfere with me raising my kids. A few months later, I found the most wonderful source of income, selling educational books. I love books and reading so this was perfect for me. I did it a few years and then found it interfering with my family life, so I quit.</p>
<p>I also think teenagers need their mom or dads at home too. They can get into all kinds of things when there is not one home to give them a healthy snack and to be there to listen about their day. I was there. I have never regretted being there for them.</p>
<p>Now that they are grown, I got my motorcycle license, I have two kayaks and paddle when I can. I am planning to go to Peru to Machu Pichu next year.</p>
<p>Moms -- stay home....</p>
<p>Meghan</p>
Staff
2018-04-25T17:58:00Z
Cherishing Motherhood
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cherishing-Motherhood/-267123876808475826.html
2018-04-24T17:58:00Z
2018-04-24T17:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I can remember adults around me asking me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I gave the usual answers for a girl of six: a ballerina, a doctor, and a lawyer. Then around 12, I realized what I really wanted was to be a Mom. I have an awesome Mom! When I would mention this to people, the usual response was, "<em>Well, that's not a career.</em>" or "<em>No, I meant your job</em>." I stuck to my guns though and insisted a Mom was all I wanted to be.</p>
<p>I met and married my awesome husband in my 20s and after two years of marriage, we decided we had gotten our communication established enough that we could take on children. It took us seven years to have our daughter, through various trials and methods (all natural). I was so happy when she came that I would cry with joy every time I changed her diapers. I was changing my daughter's diapers. My husband and I figured we'd have one and be done, so we were very surprised when I was pregnant with our son.</p>
<p>We have lost one since then, but I remain the happiest wife and mama on the planet. Thank you for your continued voice of reason in this culture that still looks down on the SAHM. This is one girl who was glad to grow up and be the best wife and mama I could be.</p>
<p>Mrs. C.</p>
Staff
2018-04-24T17:58:00Z
Who Pays for College?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Who-Pays-for-College/303396319490843457.html
2018-04-23T17:58:00Z
2018-04-23T17:58:00Z
<p>By dumb luck, I was able to pay for my own college. I was only 17 when I started college. Since I didn't like school, my first thought was to go during the summers. If I went during the summer, I could get it over with faster. Then I thought, I don't want to be 20 years old and working full time. So I decided to do a "<em>co-op</em>", a program that includes a year of hands-on work intermixed throughout the 4 academic years. It would take 5 calendar years to finish school. Well, working and saving during those co-op sessions allowed me to pay 100% of my way through school. With 5 other siblings for my parents to get through school, I was happy to do it.</p>
<p>My 3 daughters were told as freshman in high school, I would pay 1/4 of the cost of college, their mother would pay a 1/4, and they had to cover the other half. Also, I told them they did not need to get a job during high school. I would give them a reasonable amount of spending money for their socializing. Their JOB during high school was to get good grades so they could get good scholarship money. So they got good scholarships (which count toward their half) and they are also working in a co-op program and taking 5 calendar years to get through school.</p>
<p>It is working out very well!</p>
<p>Daniel</p>
Staff
2018-04-23T17:58:00Z
When a Spouse Cheats
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-a-Spouse-Cheats/211410907273879743.html
2018-04-20T17:58:00Z
2018-04-20T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>For me, security comes not from knowing what the other person might do... it comes from knowing completely what you will do.</p>
<p>My husband "<em>cheated</em>" on me, left and married the girl a year later. Of course, he denied anything, but I was worried about their relationship for 5 years. He was so good at turning it back on me and I felt like I was wrong and actually crazy. After he was let go from his job, phone calls from the company were still showing on his cell phone record. When I confronted him, he turned it back on me saying how dare I get into his "<em>private</em>" information. My biggest mistake was not having enough respect for myself to draw the line and ask him to leave. We were married for 20 years with 4 children. I was afraid.</p>
<p>I filed for divorce 3 months after he left. That was 10 years ago.</p>
<p>I am now married to an awesome man who I completely trust. His ex-wife cheated on him over and over. He was married for 21 years with 3 children. We both know that if either of us were to cheat, that would be it. The marriage would be done. It is the line of our relationship. We both know it. It is a very strongly marked line.</p>
<p>Thank you for all you do. I have absorbed much of your wisdom and share it with our children.</p>
<p>J.</p>
Staff
2018-04-20T17:58:00Z
Talking Kindly and Respectfully
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Talking-Kindly-and-Respectfully/153095217800839534.html
2018-04-19T17:58:00Z
2018-04-19T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Backtalk or sassing back at our home is rewarded with work. The more the arguing and sassing, the more jobs get piled on. If jobs are not completed, privileges are revoked. Period. Our children have learned it is NOT WORTH IT because we follow through. If they have time to be nasty, they have time to work. If they are pleasant and respectful, they are treated pleasantly and respectfully.</p>
<p>My husband and I also use kind verbiage towards each other, as children often model parents' behavior.</p>
<p>Another thing that has greatly helped our family is eliminating TV shows which, in the name of "<em>comedy</em>", promote disrespectful behavior towards parents, sarcasm, name-calling, and so forth. I have observed children who are exposed to these shows are adopting the behaviors because they see them as "<em>acceptable</em>". Nothing could be further from the truth. In real life, when people talk like that, no one laughs. No one thinks it's funny. Feelings are hurt, pain is caused, and relationships are damaged. REAL relationships are based on mutual respect and love for each other.</p>
<p>Debbie</p>
Staff
2018-04-19T17:58:00Z
Small Things Keep Me in Shape
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Small-Things-Keep-Me-in-Shape/-2009763262612371.html
2018-04-18T17:58:00Z
2018-04-18T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I take every opportunity to move my body. I never ask someone to bring me something, like the TV remote. I collect water in my shower and after dish rinsing and take that out to the garden. I started this after a drought several years ago and I'm still doing it. My arms look marvelous. I clean floors on my hands and knees. Always wondered why we advertise that we should clean without bending over. How frail are we?</p>
<p>I am 54-years-old and in perfect health and I have been the same weight (105lbs) since I was 14-years-old. I don't have to belong to a gym and my house is really clean. Once I took a weekly newspaper route in my neighborhood because I walked it every day anyway. At the end of the year, I had $500 in my pocket and great legs!</p>
<p>Karen</p>
Staff
2018-04-18T17:58:00Z
From Day Care Worker to SAHM
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/From-Day-Care-Worker-to-SAHM/846497042959612354.html
2018-04-17T17:58:00Z
2018-04-17T17:58:00Z
<p><br />My first job out of high school was working at a daycare while I was attending college. I am wonderful with children, however, I quickly realized I could not give the children the love, attention, and care that they needed and could only receive from their mothers. I made up my mind then and there that my children would have me as their caretaker. When my husband and I were courting, I informed him I would be a stay at home mom to raise our children. It was a deal breaker for me if he wasn't in agreement on the subject. He agreed it would be for the best.</p>
<p>We had 2 beautiful children and my husband has provided for us from day one. My children are now 16 and 13 and I've loved every minute of caring for them. I've always found little odd jobs to do at home that has brought extra income to add to our budget. I've managed to take care of these things when the children were asleep or at school. I love being a mom! And, I know my kids have received the care, love, and attention they needed because I provided it.</p>
<p>Sheila</p>
Staff
2018-04-17T17:58:00Z
Hanging Up My Ego
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hanging-Up-My-Ego/53984992879501069.html
2018-04-16T17:58:00Z
2018-04-16T17:58:00Z
<p>The #1 biggest and hardest part about being a SAHM is that darned ego. I thought it would be easy to hang it up on the door because it would be replaced by buckets of warm fuzzies and the complete inner satisfaction that I am doing a job that know one can do better than me.</p>
<p>Pause...just had to stop my boy from head bucking his sister.</p>
<p>There is a little of that, but on a scale of 1 to 10 it is usually a 2 instead of the premeditated 10. That is because I do lose my temper when that child will not take his nap (which he hasn't done since he was born) and I really wonder at times if maybe some one else could do better than me.</p>
<p>Pause...just had to keep sister from being smothered with a rattle.</p>
<p>And there is this consensus around adults that you should be able to control your children. If they don't behave, then just discipline them! How dare they bang the glass doors to the office building when coming to pick up father from work, after mother has been doing the laundry at the laundry mat while trying to keep her toddler from running into the street for the past 3 hours... And if you do discipline them, better stick with weak time outs because if the neighbor sees you spank or yell at your kid they will call the cops on you.</p>
<p>Pause…to look at the airplane and keep the baby from being rocked to death.</p>
<p>Okay, back to the ego issue. So it's a lonely afternoon. I am looking at my house which has been cleaned several times but looks like a complete disaster. And the thought comes to me...what if I was single. What if I was still pursuing my career as an amazing musician? Then I wouldn't know how horrible of a person I really am that being a mother has taught me to know about myself. I would still think I was amazing.</p>
<p>I can't help but hear my neighbor practicing singing. She is a professional. What I always wanted to be. And I glance at my flute which hasn't been pulled out since my 3 month old was born. I thought I could keep up my skills as a mother, but I can't when pulling out the instrument could result in it being destroyed! And then there is my other neighbor who is also a professional musician and always has amazing stories to tell about her career. Come on! How can that not pull my heart strings? I can just hear the devil angel on my shoulder, "Just look who they are...and just look at you and your dirty house."</p>
<p>Oh well, time to get back to cleaning, enough complaining. Because I know there are no egos in heaven. Maybe I am still amazing after all.</p>
<p>Pause... to play with a jump rope.</p>
<p>Julie</p>
Staff
2018-04-16T17:58:00Z
Shacking Up With Boyfriends
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Shacking-Up-With-Boyfriends/-158403901955756516.html
2018-04-13T17:56:00Z
2018-04-13T17:56:00Z
<p>As I cooked everybody lunch, I heard a call with a woman who wanted to shack up to test the waters with her boyfriend before marriage.</p>
<p>My marriage of 11 years ended violently in November 2011. He left me with a traumatic brain injury and strangle marks on my neck. I'm now a single mom of 3 sons. I had always been a housewife/full time mom, so I was stressed about getting a job. Luckily my aunt called me and said she needed someone to take care of my grandma with dementia, so we moved her in here with me. It's a true blessing. My house is no longer hostile.</p>
<p>My friends and my own dad advised me against this move fearing I would not have a social life. I told them my boys need a mother to focus on them, not a mother who goes out and gathers boyfriends and new husbands. (Plus I'm not a good picker. I knew darned well my ex was violent and I tried to leave several times but would come back. It's true when they say the beatings only get worse.)</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for reinforcing and making me feel proud of my decision to not date and to focus on my boys, Grandma, and my relationship with God.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>C.</p>
Staff
2018-04-13T17:56:00Z
My Pug Listens
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Pug-Listens/-693477683163345571.html
2018-04-12T17:58:00Z
2018-04-12T17:58:00Z
<p>I was listening to the podcast of your show the other day while my pug was sitting next to me on the sofa. You did one of your "screams," and my sleeping pug immediately sat up, looked over at my laptop, and tilted his head from side to side trying to figure out what that noise was.</p>
<p>So, if you ever have trouble getting your dogs' attention (which I'm sure is never an issue since they are so well-trained), you should know your on-air screams can bring a dog to immediate attention (even if it doesn't always work on the humans).</p>
<p>Thanks for the wonderful program and all you do to protect the interests of children.</p>
<p>K.</p>
Staff
2018-04-12T17:58:00Z
Perceiving Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Perceiving-Life/-396088292326902431.html
2018-04-11T17:58:00Z
2018-04-11T17:58:00Z
<p>My children are now 25 and 23. When they were little, my daughter would comment as we passed day care centers that she wanted to go to day care. I would explain to her how that meant that I would have to take her there early in the morning and picking her up right before bedtime. She still wanted to go, because she saw the children playing. <br /><br />Now at 23, she thanks me constantly for being at home with her. It was worth every sacrifice we made for me to stay home to now get validation of our decision. Everyone can do it if you really want to. Trust me. I now work at an elementary school and we can easily tell which children go to day care.</p>
<p>Susan</p>
Staff
2018-04-11T17:58:00Z
Helping My Kids With Homework
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Helping-My-Kids-With-Homework/-154422410902839963.html
2018-04-10T17:58:00Z
2018-04-10T17:58:00Z
<p>I like my children to have a snack and relax a bit before diving into homework after school. I usually make them something pretty healthy and sit and talk with them when they come home. On the advice of a smarter woman than me, I make sure I am not distracted by emails, Facebook or the telephone. Electronics are turned off and I give them my undivided attention. We discuss whatever they want to talk about, usually their day at school, but not always. I don't set a timer, but within an hour of getting home they are usually ready to start their homework. If they need help organizing their time, we go over what's due soonest, what task can be accomplished quickest and what tests or quizzes are coming up soon. I also discuss their projects with them and have them bounce their ideas off of me. I might give a few suggestions or ask them questions that get them thinking a bit deeper on their topics.</p>
<p>Whenever they feel completely overwhelmed, I try to calm them down and I help them strategize their time. By staying calm and reassuring them that the work can and will get done, they calm down and relax.</p>
<p>This spring my youngest had trouble with getting all her work done and her grades plummeted immediately following her Bat Mitzvah. We didn't get angry with her, we reassured her she could and would do better and we were there to help her. We made a rule there was not going to be any TV or computer during the school week (Sunday night through Friday afternoon - Not just for her, but for the whole family. Within a few weeks she raised all her grades, my husband and I were better read and my eldest child got a ton of work done ahead of time for high school. I think we're going to start this practice up again come September. My daughter actually thanked me for making this rule.</p>
<p>We also make sure our kids take advantage of before and after school extra help. I guess we're very fortunate our school district offers plenty of extra help and teachers are insistent that children take advantage of it.</p>
<p>Margaret</p>
Staff
2018-04-10T17:58:00Z
Setting A Bad Example
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Setting-A-Bad-Example/-681030833778702653.html
2018-04-09T17:58:00Z
2018-04-09T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I'm a proud mom and wife of a stay-at-home dad. However, I work part-time to allow myself more time with my kids. <br /><br />My son goes to a special needs school. I've driven to pick up my son several times only to see a woman parking in the handicapped spot time and time again. Finally, when I was certain there was no need for HER to be parking there, I walked over and explained to her that since this was a special needs school with handicapped children her parking there was rude, inconsiderate and a very bad example for her son. She mumbled back something to me that I couldn't hear, but I calmly stepped back and told her "<em>I'm not certain what you said, but there's no excuse for sheer laziness. Do the right thing.</em>"</p>
<p>I found it funny that the look of shock on her face didn't show embarrassment, but a look that she was a victim of me putting her in her place! I just couldn't stand there and watch her be selfish and inconsiderate any longer.</p>
<p>Thank you for all that you do and reminding us to do the right thing no matter what!</p>
<p>Shannon</p>
Staff
2018-04-09T17:58:00Z
Bad Mom, Good Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bad-Mom,-Good-Mom/327039866587236694.html
2018-04-06T17:58:00Z
2018-04-06T17:58:00Z
<p>I love the advice you give women with bad moms.</p>
<p>I had a bad mom. The kind of mother who would scream, call me stupid, and drag me on the floor. Every time I go back to my home state I am torn, wanting to have that mother/daughter relationship I never had. I think I must not be a good daughter because I am conflicted between having a relationship with her and staying as far away as I can. Every time I start feeling sad about the relationship and love I never got from her, I start thinking about something you said.</p>
<p>I now have a second chance to have that relationship that I never had with my mom. Every day I tell my daughter, "<em>I am so happy you are my daughter</em>." She surprises me every time when she says, "<em>I am so glad you are my mom</em>." I chose not to be like my mom. Now I have a wonderful, self-confident, intelligent daughter who makes me laugh and likes to do things with me.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, for repeating the message that we get a second chance in life with our daughters to have a mother/daughter relationship.</p>
<p>Jeanette</p>
Staff
2018-04-06T17:58:00Z
Admitting Reality
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Admitting-Reality/343864526001571543.html
2018-04-05T17:58:00Z
2018-04-05T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Unfortunately, I have made several decisions I've regretted. The biggest was not admitting to myself, let alone the world, that I was gay until I was 34. I kept up the denial, hoping to one day marry a nice woman and have kids. <br /><br />It was after talking to you I realized I couldn't do that to a woman and I finally realized I had to admit reality. Now I have to find my way in life in a way I didn't plan for. I spent my entire adult life preparing for a family even though I always put it off. Facing reality and changing directions is very difficult. I have a long way to go to figure out my place in my new world.</p>
<p>By the way, THANK YOU, Dr. Laura for the help you've given me. It may be difficult, but I'm much relieved to be able to be open and honest. You helped me remove that burden. I'm very thankful.<br /><br />Ken</p>
Staff
2018-04-05T17:58:00Z
Anxiety and Perfectionism
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Anxiety-and-Perfectionism/750889822693069384.html
2018-04-04T17:58:00Z
2018-04-04T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Experience anxiety? Yes. I think it may be related to perfectionism. I grew up in a household with a narcissistic, anxious, mother who would self-medicate with alcohol and prescription drugs. Dad would just avoid her by being a workaholic and devoting himself to the family business. I learned to cope by doing whatever it took to keep my mother on an even keel. When she would come into the family room with a basketful of clothes to be folded, she would dump them on the sofa with a heavy sigh. That was my cue. I would put aside my studies to take care of the clothes, so she wouldn't be upset later. The same thing would happen with weekend house cleaning. I would always help her first, otherwise I was worried she would be anxious. Today, I experience anxiety on the job and at home.</p>
<p>I never had children so, fortunately, I am not harming them. But I do have a husband who I worry I may be driving crazy. My husband is retired and has no concerns about being neat and organized. I, on the other hand, am compulsive about it. With the demands of my job, I cannot keep my house neat and orderly as when I was single. It is especially difficult with my husband being messy and disorganized. I would have to work on cleaning everyday to keep it at my level of standards. Since then, I have learned to let things go. I even confessed to a priest that I was sorry I was always angry at my husband for not being neat and organized. He said with a gleam in his eye, "<em>Maybe your husband is your penance.</em>" Perhaps this is true. God put us together for a reason, I need to relax and not worry about the insignificant things in life.</p>
<p>My thoughts keep going back to my mother who went from a neat-freak to a compulsive shopper and hoarder. In the end, it was I who suffered her wrath when we cleaned out her house to put it on the market to afford her assisted living costs. This further traumatized me. </p>
<p>She has been deceased for nearly three years, yet I still suffer with the anxiety of what I should have done and could have done differently. I thank the Lord for my very patient husband who reminds me that we did the right thing. I guess what it boils down to, is somehow I feel like I let her down. I am still trying to win her love and approval and I have got to stop. Most of all, I don't want to be like her.</p>
<p>To help with anxiety? I use prayer, and meditation, journal writing, bird watching, exercise, and art (painting). I also started listening to your show again on podcasts while I walk. Thank you for your wisdom and voice of reason. Now, I need a good cry...</p>
<p>God Bless You,</p>
<p>J.</p>
Staff
2018-04-04T17:58:00Z
A Lesson in Kindness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Lesson-in-Kindness/948586926496340893.html
2018-04-03T17:58:00Z
2018-04-03T17:58:00Z
<p><br />My 5-year-old grandson attends a Catholic school. His mother came to pick him up and noticed a dad was removing the pink polo type shirt his son had been dressed in that day. The little boy was crying.<br /><br />My daughter-in-law asked the little boy, "<em>Mike, why are you crying?</em>" He responded that the boys in the class had made fun of him for wearing a pink shirt. My daughter-in-law replied, "<em>I hope my son was not one of those boys.</em>" He told her that her son had participated with the other boys and it made him cry. My daughter-in-law then verified with the teacher what had happened and made her plan to teach my grandson a lesson.<br /><br />My grandson had his own pink polo shirt at home. My daughter-in-law made him wear it to school the very next day. He also had to apologize to Mike and give him a big hug. My grandson received some teasing about his pink shirt at school too. Hopefully he learned a lesson about kindness and not hurting the feelings of others.<br /><br />Kathy</p>
Staff
2018-04-03T17:58:00Z
Havin' BABIES and Husbands!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Havin-BABIES-and-Husbands!/300387627960792900.html
2018-04-02T17:58:00Z
2018-04-02T17:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I guess we just LOVE having babies, because we have four under five and I'm not even 28!</p>
<p>We have a little experience with childbirth you could say. Our first had a serious birth defect and was a crazy pregnancy, labor and delivery. Our second was a surprise and showed up just 13 months later! Our third got stuck and was injured in the process. Our fourth (our first girl) got stuck too! They are all alive and well for now and we love them dearly!</p>
<p>I don't think you can really prepare for labor and delivery because of the variety of deliveries. My hubby is a 6'5, 220 lb. PURE man! But blood makes him squeamish and he doesn't like seeing me in pain (so sweet). So, he kept telling himself he would not be in the delivery room. He would not watch! Then, when it came down to it, love conquered all and because we have such a close bond and were so excited for each baby, he held his head high and EVEN cut the cord! I think adrenaline is a gift from God in these situations.</p>
<p>I did try and prepare him a little by telling him some things to beware of, but that might have made the anticipation even worse. I think the fact that "I" stayed calm throughout (with many of prayers!) helped him a lot! We realized after our first, we are only in control of so much and the rest is in God's hands. We can't prevent everything! There's no use in worrying over those things you can't prevent, so go in there bravely and with hope. Most likely everything will be okay...and IF NOT...hopefully we can be strong!</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Laura (loving mother and even more loving wife</p>
Staff
2018-04-02T17:58:00Z
Perceiving Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Perceiving-Life/169111746321576597.html
2018-03-30T17:58:00Z
2018-03-30T17:58:00Z
<p>My children are now 25 and 23. When they were little, my daughter would comment as we passed day care centers that she wanted to go to day care. I would explain how that meant me taking her there early in the morning and picking her up right before bedtime. She still wanted to go because she saw the children playing. Now at 23, she thanks me constantly for being at home with her as she sees how the children she knew who went to day care now perceive life. It was worth every sacrifice we made for me to stay home to now get validation of our decision. Everyone can do it if you really want to. Trust me, I now work at an elementary school and we can easily tell which children go to day care.</p>
<p>Susan</p>
Staff
2018-03-30T17:58:00Z
The Father of a Female Teen
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Father-of-a-Female-Teen/962063646679850390.html
2018-03-29T17:58:00Z
2018-03-29T17:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My daughter is nearly 14 (another daughter is 12) and yet to bring up boys much, which is good, but I know she has questions like - when will a boy like me? And if I have my way, not for another 5 years.</p>
<p>I look forward to times when it's just me and her so we can talk about things from the "dad perspective" that she wouldn't normally bring up when we're all together. FYI, we are a family of faithful Catholics and she seems to be embracing the faith well. So, every issue we discuss is always grounded in our faith.</p>
<p>I also keep your advice in mind. So when it comes to boys, she needs to have a discerning mind about who this boy is and whether he is permanent material. At her age, boys are just friends and should never take the next "step". When she's out of school and on her adult path, then she may think about sharing her life with someone else. Until then...she's mine!</p>
<p>Blessings,</p>
<p>Bob</p>
Staff
2018-03-29T17:58:00Z
Can You Hear Me Now?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Can-You-Hear-Me-Now/-351499506604621397.html
2018-03-28T17:58:00Z
2018-03-28T17:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Is it just me noticing this or is this the sad new norm: Mothers deliberately ignoring their children whilst selfishly too busy on their cell phones while shopping etc to pay attention to their children...</p>
<p>If I was a child again, I could NOT imagine my mother too pre-occupied being busy on the phone ignoring me while out shopping... What must children of these parents be growing up thinking???</p>
<p>Clearly it is telling children they are NOT important enough for parents to focus on them, to do their job raising and teaching by example HEALTHY behavior! No wonder children grow up not being potty trained or having any manners - parents are too busy being selfish and lazy to guide their offspring into contributing members of society.</p>
<p>How sad to witness parents on cell phones ignoring the glorious moments they should be cherishing with their children...</p>
<p>Love & respect your advice Dr. Laura- Keep the tractor going…</p>
<p>Hugs,</p>
<p>Lara</p>
Staff
2018-03-28T17:58:00Z
Forging Relationships with Daughters
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Forging-Relationships-with-Daughters/-328429045932554028.html
2018-03-27T17:58:00Z
2018-03-27T17:58:00Z
<p><br />My husband has forged close relationships with all 4 of our daughters (our 3 sons, too, for that matter). He has done this by participating in their care as infants, talking to them, playing with them, teaching them, and just generally interacting with them. As they grew, he participated in their sports activities and other projects. He had funny pet names for them, and teased them and their friends too. Now that 3 of our daughters are married with children, he has become another shoulder for them to lean on when they need any help with anything. He supports their husbands in their endeavors by being available when needed. (We are no help financially - we scrape by as it is.) He's more available than I am since I still work as a Home Health RN so he babysits if needed. One of the daughters is divorced and Poppers is there to help with her son and do "guy things" with him. Our eldest daughter is mentally disabled and lives at home with us. She has a good sense of humor and teases her dad too. Our 3 sons are married with children also and Poppers has another generation of children to play with and tease and teach. He's still a big kid himself.</p>
<p>We've been married almost 50 years (Aug. 25) and we're still very actively involved with life and work and hobbies. Our children are our friends and we are very proud of them and their families. Six of them have college degrees and several with advanced degrees. It is wonderful to see them instilling values and modeling integrity in and for their own children.</p>
<p>Not only has he done this for our own children, but he was a model for my daughters’ (and sons’) friends by being available and being a real man who took care of business and could still be "cool" while other fathers were involved with alcohol, drugs, and new wives who had no room for step-children - or who wielded power by heavy handedness and unreasonable "rules."</p>
<p>Toni</p>
Staff
2018-03-27T17:58:00Z
Gold Medal Stay at Home Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Gold-Medal-Stay-at-Home-Dad/-292293427270279917.html
2018-03-26T17:58:00Z
2018-03-26T17:58:00Z
<p>My husband and I started a business and I went back to work for the first time in 20 years. We joined the Chamber of Commerce and I went to hear an Olympic gold medalist speak even though I know 0 about the Olympics. There were empty seats toward the front so I sat there and asked the gentleman next to me what he did. He told me he was stay at home dad to his 2 girls age 1 and 3. He was clearly very proud of what he did. I was impressed without knowing who he was. This was Jimmy Shea, our speaker and I had no clue. He said raising his kids was not very different from training as a professional athlete, he does everything he does with total passion. He is a 3rd generation gold medalist and said kids are pushed too hard to compete in sports today and his family never pushed him. You would love this man and I thought of this when I watched your video on stay at home dads. Here was a man manly enough and able to embrace what he is doing. I am certain his wife is still able to see him as a hero.</p>
<p>By the way, my son is a Marine. Listening to you really helped me to understand and be proud of what he is doing.</p>
<p>Liz</p>
Staff
2018-03-26T17:58:00Z
Making Exercise a Priority
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Exercise-a-Priority/-946423854156467399.html
2018-03-23T17:58:00Z
2018-03-23T17:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am a homeschooling mother of 5 kids. I also teach piano to 15 additional kids per week.</p>
<p>How do I fit in exercise? I go to bed early and get up before my kids awake to run 5 miles per day. I used to walk, but 5 months ago I decided to try running. I have cut my time down from 1 1/2 hours per day to 45 minutes per day. I also have the benefit of better sleep, better health, and my lung capacity has increased (I am a singer). I like Nike's "Just Do It" philosophy, and I use that phrase on myself when it is cold, dark, and rainy! When I first told people I was running all I heard was "it's so bad on your knees." Of course that was from non-exercisers. My knees feel great, even after having 5 kids, and I've never felt better.</p>
<p>Rebecca</p>
Staff
2018-03-23T17:58:00Z
Lazy and Undisciplined No More!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lazy-and-Undisciplined-No-More!/-990478528219187740.html
2018-03-23T17:58:00Z
2018-03-23T17:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>One thing you said that REALLY got my attention was your comments about two years ago to an overweight woman. You told her she was lazy and undisciplined and she did not care about the impression she was making on others. OUCH! Those words hit home.</p>
<p>I have always struggled with my weight. I'm less than five feet tall, so I just cannot eat what others eat. I'm curvy, so I never have that lean look anyway. I love food, I love to cook, I love to be the hostess, and I love going out to restaurants. Some women sew, some make crafts, enjoy scrapbooking or interior decorating, or they work in the garden. My creative outlet in the home has always been cooking. However, when you gain five pounds a year every year, eventually you end up having to lose a lot of weight. I am not lazy in other areas of my life I am certainly disciplined, and I care a lot about the impression I make on others. Your words motivated me to quit playing around and to take weight loss really seriously. Sure, I had joined weight loss groups before, and I'd lose a few pounds, but once the initial excitement wore off and the pounds were not coming off so quickly, well, I would get frustrated and give up. Some friends from out of state got good results from a medical weight loss program, so with encouragement from my husband, I did the same. It was not inexpensive, but he said to me, "Aren't you worth it?" Cutting back a little bit wasn't enough for me. I needed to go somewhere where I had to weigh in daily and show my food diary and exercise log daily. Over time, I have completely changed the way I eat. With help from my program (and no medication), I lost sixty pounds and seven pant sizes to meet my goal last spring.</p>
<p>I could write another email just on the changes I've made and some of the challenges which come with losing that much weight. And I still need help. I've gained a little of this weight back in the last year, and I'm up one size in clothing. Sometimes it only takes a difference of 100-200 calories a day for me to swing from losing weight to maintaining to gaining weight. It is difficult to be disciplined every single day. I need the help and the accountability from others to keep my momentum up. However, the more committed I am to my goal, the more support I have received from my family, friends, and co-workers. They keep me away from the candy bowl in the office, the donuts at Sunday School, and the ice cream my family enjoys. They know I'm not going to eat their birthday cake, and it's okay. They don't even ask anymore. (Have you ever realized how many times it's someone's birthday?)</p>
<p>THANKS, Dr. Laura, for goading me into action. I will never forget those words that changed my life. I know you live them too.<br /><br />Lori</p>
Staff
2018-03-23T17:58:00Z
Getting Through the Bad Days
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Getting-Through-the-Bad-Days/-121212354239253343.html
2018-03-22T17:58:00Z
2018-03-22T17:58:00Z
<p>I have a long story. I was only 17 when my father killed my mother, brother and 2 sisters. I married soon after and it ended in divorce. My second husband of now 33 years and I were blessed with 3 children: two boys and a girl. Our beautiful daughter died when she was just 28 days old. My husband found her; SIDS was the listed as the cause of death. When others hear my story and say, "How do you do it?" I reply with a huge smile, "Why Dr. Laura gets me through the bad days!"</p>
<p>My husband and I listen to you often and we have enjoyed your insight into life. Your calls do enjoy a lot of lively discussions. I just want you to know even some one as damaged as I am can find peace within your words. Please enjoy another 50 years of being MOTHER LAURA!</p>
<p>Thank you from one of your survivors</p>
Staff
2018-03-22T17:58:00Z
Standing Up to a Bully
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Standing-Up-to-a-Bully/-54208239209721387.html
2018-03-21T17:58:00Z
2018-03-21T17:58:00Z
<p>When my daughter had a birthday, I invited her class at her Montessori. Traditional Montessoris use a mixed age classroom so she had lots of different aged kids in her class. It was the start of the school year so I was meeting some parents for the 1st time. One little boy's mom and dad came up to introduce themselves saying, "Oh, we had to come to Amelia's birthday! She's a hero in our house!" They then related on the first day of school, a bigger boy had pushed their son out of line to take his place. My daughter took the younger boy's hand and told the bully he couldn't do that and he needed to go to the end of the line. The mom saw it all.</p>
<p>I felt like they had given ME the birthday gift of a wonderful glimpse of who my daughter was becoming. And by the way, I asked her about what she'd done and she brushed it off as no big deal!</p>
<p>A.</p>
Staff
2018-03-21T17:58:00Z
Be Grateful for Dumb Women
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Be-Grateful-for-Dumb-Women/-891903641788174625.html
2018-03-20T17:58:00Z
2018-03-20T17:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr Laura,</p>
<p>My first husband found love with his hairdresser after 12 years of marriage with me. I guess therapy was clearly showing his immaturity and he shacked up with a 28 year old, 15 years his junior. Maybe she made him feel more mature.</p>
<p>After years of praying for one dumb woman to let a good man go, I got a call from an old friend telling me how she was having a "torrid love affair with a doctor" and she was divorcing her husband. (The four of us go way back to the 80's when she and I were in nursing school together.) I loved my husband, but I knew the kind of man she had married: faithful, hardworking, and a fine father of 3. I called him to hear how 25 years of marriage can mean so little to a person. Well, Dr. Laura, he was a wreck. He was totally oblivious to her jaunts with the boyfriend, the doctor. (The safety and security of faithfulness is so important). He felt comfortable in opening up to me, especially with so much history of us all palling around together when we were single and then as the children came.</p>
<p>He told me they had one more counseling session and I was worried yet satisfied in feeling only the best would come from that session. What would be was meant to be. I prayed the entire time they were meeting. 30 minutes later, I received a call from him. The session went with her telling him she never loved him, thus setting him free, and for us to begin a new life together!!</p>
<p>Dr. Laura, we married and he is the best thing to ever happen to me. We have a beautiful life we are building together. He got his motorcycle license as I asked of him. We have a Harley which we have a blast on together. This man of mine has the most beautiful soul. He is kind and loves my kids as his own. He treats me like a princess and if I can make his life easy for him is justly deserves. We are in our early 50's and have finally found love and commitment the way it was intended to be.</p>
<p>I thank God everyday, especially for dumb women.</p>
<p>Most sincerely and thank you for all you do,</p>
<p>Gina</p>
Staff
2018-03-20T17:58:00Z
Living at Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Living-at-Home/740420285675123618.html
2018-03-19T17:58:00Z
2018-03-19T17:58:00Z
<p>After college, I had the opportunity to take a job in my hometown. The pay was so low, I would have to live at home. My mother said "No". She said if I didn't break out of my comfort zone and spread my wings at that time, I never would. A couple of weeks later, I got another opportunity in much larger city. I am so grateful for the "tough love" from my parents which pushed me to keep looking and launched a wonderful career in a profession I love.</p>
<p>Contrary to that: my ex-in-laws harbor their oldest son (he's pushing 50). They lost everything in the real estate collapse and only live off social security... and their grown son lives with them, does not work (he owes 30K in back child support) and doesn't even do chores. Their financial condition is such they may go on food stamps. It infuriates me, so I limit contact will all involved. They've made excuses for him all of his life and continue to do so to their detriment, and that of my child (their grandchild). I can't imagine a grandparent willing to tolerate and fully support a capable adult child who won't work, making them financially unable to drive to see their grandchildren.<br /><br />E.</p>
Staff
2018-03-19T17:58:00Z
Maintenance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Maintenance/248197041838085985.html
2018-03-16T17:58:00Z
2018-03-16T17:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am where I am now because of you and a dear friend along the way of 11 years. I found myself slipping lately due to the economy and my career. So, I thrust my head into my books hunting for <em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Bad-Childhood-Good-Life-Blossom-Childhood/dp/0060577878" target="_blank">Bad Childhood - Good Life</a></em>. My thirst to find it was almost comical. With an enormous deep sigh, I sank into my comfort chair and reread this book. I felt the strength wrap me in glory again. When I reread the book, it was so comforting to see the growth and the pride I have in my wonderful quality of life. Demons do tread and they don't tread lightly.</p>
<p>Why did I find myself hunting for strength? I was finding myself short in answers, impatient and flustered. My son said, "<em>Mom, did you take your Thyroid pill today?</em>" I just needed to get my power back.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>P.</p>
Staff
2018-03-16T17:58:00Z
I Am The One My Son Leans On
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Am-The-One-My-Son-Leans-On/-6847263112690304.html
2018-03-15T17:58:00Z
2018-03-15T17:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Today I met my son at the bus stop like I always do, and walked home with him. We chatted a bit about his day, but when we walked in the house he ran off to fly his remote control helicopter. I played with my daughter in the living room for about an hour before I started dinner.</p>
<p>Then my son came in and asked for a snack. I offered him a cutie and a few leftover slices of homemade French toast sticks and told him that's all he could have since dinner would be ready in 30 minutes. Hearing this sent him into an utter melt-down. My six year old, who is generally well-behaved, had completely quit the earth. I had to drag him to his room and told him he could come out when he stopped crying. I got some water boiling then I peeled him another cutie and went into his room. I handed him his snack and asked him if his day had been rough. He stopped his tantrum and with tears of sadness in his eyes he told me it had been a bad day, no one had played with him at recess and his best friend just wanted to play with some girl. My heart broke for him. His melt down wasn't about a snack, it was the avenue for the bottled up hurt he felt over being shunned by his classmates that day. I hugged him and cried with him and then we talked about what he could do the next day to get some of his buddies to play with him. I also told him I would eat lunch with him at the school the next day. (In my day that would've been social suicide but at his school it's very cool because they get to eat at a special table with their mom and invite 2 friends to come with them.) After that I called three of the boys in his class (I know all the good ones to call because I volunteer in his classroom), and invited them over for a homemade pizza party the following night.</p>
<p>I kept thinking of my friends with "nannies". I wondered if those nannies would've been intuitive enough to understand there was more going on in the life of that special 6 year old than just disappointment over the size of his snack. My answer was no. I wondered if they would sit with him, hold him, cry with him and tell him they understood. My answer was no. I wondered if they would have immediately made plans the next day to have some buddies over for a pizza party. My answer was no. I wondered if they would go eat lunch at the school with him. My answer was no.</p>
<p>I am SO GRATEFUL to be my kids' mom. I am grateful to be the one to dry their tears. As sick as it sometimes makes me to see them hurt, I am glad I get to see it, support them through it and fix it any way I can. I'm so lucky. I wouldn't let anyone else near my job. EVER. No one can do it better than me and nobody cares more than I do. What a great feeling it is to be so satisfied with my job and so fulfilled at the end of the day. Wow, I am truly blessed.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Emily</p>
Staff
2018-03-15T17:58:00Z
A No Nonsense Woman
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-No-Nonsense-Woman/-352450549532409724.html
2018-03-14T17:58:00Z
2018-03-14T17:58:00Z
<p>I was raised by a no nonsense woman. Life was simple for my mom. If you told the truth and stood up for what was right, all would go well for you. Many times as a child, I would tell my mom about an incidence. She would give me her best advice, to which I would reply "They will be mad." She would reply "They will just have to get glad." Hard words to swallow for a kid, but that was my mom, very straight forward.</p>
<p>Years past and I grew and had children of my own. I had 3 daughters. I raised my kids with the same approach to life. Tell the truth and be honest and all will be ok.</p>
<p>My mother died when my girls were small. I missed her no nonsense advice. There was no one in my life who could tell it like it was like my mom. Then one day shortly after we moved to L.A. in the very early '80s, I was searching for a radio station and there she was: My Mom on the radio. Her name was different and her voice not the same, but the comments and the same no nonsense approach to life. This lady's name was Dr. Laura…. It was pure joy on my part and I have been a loyal listener ever since. I would listen to Dr. Laura when I picked up the girls from school everyday. Yes I was a stay at home mom. I felt this was my number 1 job. The girls are grown now, but when one of them has a unique problem the other says "That sounds like a Dr. Laura call for sure." We all say, "Yes it does. What would Dr. Laura say for advice?"</p>
<p>I have learned so much from you. You has taught us about things like putting children first above all else, staying home with your children has great value, how to stand up to abortion, how the sexualization of young children is evil, how divorce HURTS kids most of all, how to treat our spouses and to pick well and treat kindly. Most of all you have inspired me to carry your thoughts out into my world and to the people I come in contact with; to go in to our community, help kids and talk the truth about the worlds around us. My parents are my true heroes in life, but next to them is you. You have carried on for years with sometimes not much more than criticism and yet you just keep going and going and going.</p>
<p>Thank you soooo much for staying on the air and tell people what they need to hear and not what they want to hear. You are loved by millions of listeners; they can't all be wrong. I am sure there are people who you have truly helped save their lives. I just wanted to tell you how you help us not so messed up people, who find it hard to rise to the top anymore, to do just that: Rise to the top and love the view. Thanks for all you do for all our mental health in a very crazy world.<br /><br />J.</p>
Staff
2018-03-14T17:58:00Z
11 Years Later
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/11-Years-Later/273810247228460486.html
2018-03-13T17:58:00Z
2018-03-13T17:58:00Z
<p>I was 23 and stupid but smart enough to know I had to find a job to make some money before I stared graduate school. At that job, the radio was set to your show. Thank God for that. I heard you say "you have to kiss a lot of toads before you find your prince". The quote is still in my bible today, 11 years later.</p>
<p>I left that needy girl behind along with a bad relationship and a toxic guy. I found myself and because of that, found my prince. I completed Graduate school, got an excellent job in healthcare serving our nation's veterans and wounded warriors.</p>
<p>I have listened to you every day after work to keep my "girlfriend" skills fine tuned. My husband and I have a beautiful baby girl and as I type this, I have just emailed my letter of resignation to a top notch boss so I can now become My Kid's Mom - full time. Thank you Dr. Laura. Without your advice, I know I would not have been shaped into the wise woman, wife, and mother I have come to be. Of all life's decisions I have made, the most difficult has been to put my career on the back burner. I work every day to improve the quality of life for our veterans of war and while this is of great need, ultimately, my daughter needs me more. I am certain without your mission, I would not have hit send on that email today.</p>
<p>From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I'll keep you posted on life as My Kid's Mom and My Husband's Girlfriend.</p>
<p>C.</p>
Staff
2018-03-13T17:58:00Z
The Love You Take
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Love-You-Take/-106893637102048186.html
2018-03-12T17:58:00Z
2018-03-12T17:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am 31 years old, I am my husband's girlfriend and working on being my future children's mother.</p>
<p>A few years ago, my best friend, Jessica, reintroduced me to you after years of despising you. As young teens, her dad would listen to your show daily and lecture us on being good girls - It drove us nuts. We considered ourselves feminists and saw your ways as old school - your show was holding women back, encouraging the idea women were the weaker gender and should live to serve their men. When I got married 2 years ago, we had a very rough start. My husband and I fought a lot, dealing with major issues in our relationship. Around that time, Jessica asked me if I'd listened to you recently. I was shocked. "You mean that terrible woman your dad used to listen to??" She encouraged me to listen to your radio show with different ears. We started talking about how we were treating our men and our minds opened to the idea that perhaps we had been wrong about your message. From there, I picked up "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and my world changed. I became a regular listener of your show. I picked up "Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships" and signed up for your newsletter. I told my mom, sister, aunts and husband all about you because I wanted everyone to read your books and see what I now see.</p>
<p>My relationship with my husband has dramatically changed. I know how to take care of my King... it is so easy. The love I get in return is indescribable. Now we are ready for a family and have started the process of buying a home, bringing us to a new obstacle - the Don't Be A Stay At Home Mom mentality. We both have great full time jobs but are applying for a home loan with only one salary - his. This is a big step because my current income is over a third of our household income, plus by quitting my job, I will be losing a large amount of unvested stock. Our lifestyle is about to go through a major change. Some of my friends and family think I am crazy to give that up. I've been encouraged to "put it in a spreadsheet" and "weigh out the opportunity cost" more than a handful of times. But then I think about my childhood, how even as my parents struggled for money, my mom was always there. She raised me as a baby and took on an in-home day care when my sister was born so even if she couldn't give us her full attention, at least she was the one raising us. I think about how lucky I am to have a husband who fully supports my wishes to raise our children and how blessed we are to have income we do to make this happen.</p>
<p>Dr. Laura, the greatest thing about your message is that it applies to ALL relationships: husband to wife, mother to child, sister to brother, best friend to best friend. The love you put into a relationship is the love you'll get out of it. Thank you for being such a role model in this way.</p>
<p>E.</p>
Staff
2018-03-12T17:58:00Z
Creative Ways to Help Kids Behave
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Creative-Ways-to-Help-Kids-Behave/-420540774942257173.html
2018-03-09T18:58:00Z
2018-03-09T18:58:00Z
<p>We've done a variety of different things over the years to help our kids "readjust" to a straight path in life. They've been different depending upon the child (we've got 3). But here's one of 'em:</p>
<p>When our 11 year old son dumped all the dog poop for MONTHS over the fence to create a pile that my husband then stepped in the middle of the night when the circuit breaker went flooey, we gave him the next day to clean it up. He did not.</p>
<p>Then we "hired" my husband at his $50 per hour rate for 1.5 hours to clean it up, and "charged" my son at $6.00 per hour to pay that back. We removed everything from his room (including his bed) and he wouldn't get it back until he'd earned it back by labor at his $6 per hour rate. We left him with a sleeping bag and a pillow.</p>
<p>He ended up having to dig a trench at our rental house so we could lay water lines for a new washer/dryer system. It took him 10 hours. I packed him a lunch on a Saturday, gave him a bunch of water, and dropped him off with a pair of work gloves, a shovel, and written instructions.</p>
<p>(He had NO idea I parked around the corner and watched him for safety's sake).</p>
<p>When he finished, exhausted, sweaty, and sore and I picked him up - he said, "Okay - I've learned the value of using my brain for my future - AND of doing the right thing the first time."</p>
<p>Lesson learned.<br /> <br />Alisa</p>
Staff
2018-03-09T18:58:00Z
Helping Dad in the Delivery Room
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Helping-Dad-in-the-Delivery-Room/-726474109110036080.html
2018-03-08T18:58:00Z
2018-03-08T18:58:00Z
<p>Hello, Dr. Laura.</p>
<p>My kids are 12 and 15. My husband was "required" to be in the delivery room, and although he is a pretty tough guy, he REALLY doesn't like the sight of blood. Don't get me wrong, I've seen him help a wounded woman with a rock wedged into her leg, so he can bring his tough stuff when there's an emergency, but it's not his first choice.</p>
<p>That being said, I told him I really wanted and expected him to be in the delivery room, but he could sit at my side facing "North", meaning facing my face, and keep the eyes averted for the whole procedure. He could look at the babies when he wanted to (right away, as it turned out), but we both said, "NO Thank you!" when they offered him the chance to cut the umbilical cord. This was a great solution for both of us. He then accompanied the babies to the nursery and videotaped their first baths and such, but got to miss the messy part of the delivery. It was great, and a good time (thanks to the epidural and an incredible level of joy and excitement!) was had by all.</p>
<p>All the best,</p>
<p>Jackie</p>
<div id="_mcePaste" class="mcePaste" style="position: absolute; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden; top: 0px; left: -10000px;"></div>
Staff
2018-03-08T18:58:00Z
Focusing on my Boy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Focusing-on-my-Boy/-570122786124799315.html
2018-03-07T18:58:00Z
2018-03-07T18:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I remember having to do a report in school about what we wanted to be when we grew up. I always knew I wanted to be a wife and mom. But I never thought it was the ‘right’ answer. So I would make up something. I would say I wanted to be a lawyer or a librarian. I really just wanted to be a wife and mom. I wanted to cook and clean and do laundry. You helped me realize wanting to be a wife and mom was okay. In fact it was great.</p>
<p>Unfortunately I made some mistakes in life. I am a mom to a great 11 year old boy. But I have not been a wife. When my son was younger, about 3 years old, I was focused on dating and trying to meet a guy. I still wanted to be a wife, but I was forgetting I was a mom. You taught me to make my son my number one priority now. I stopped dating and started focusing on my son. We do homework together every night. We have dinner together every evening. We go to church together on Sundays. I go to every one of his baseball games and practices.</p>
<p>It has taken some time, but his father and I now get along great. I made a point to never speak badly about his father.</p>
<p>So many women tell me I need to take time for myself. I need to get a man. I need to go out on the weekends. I am so proud to tell them nothing makes me happier then when I am spending time with my son. And that is the truth!! I see these same women neglect their kids because they need ‘me time.’ They bring so many random men in and out of their children’s lives. I was on that same path at one point. But I thank God I started to listen to you. I am focused on my son and I know I am doing the right thing.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, for all you do for families.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>M.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2018-03-07T18:58:00Z
Paid with Love and Support
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Paid-with-Love-and-Support/-57827385871780113.html
2018-03-06T18:58:00Z
2018-03-06T18:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>As I sit quietly today feeling unvalued by the boss I have just given my notice to after 4 years of dedicated hard work - not nearly worth the paycheck, lost time with my children or the stresses brought on by my position - I choose to reflect on the future instead and the words my husband continues to issue to me: "Please stay at home and raise our family. We value you and we will pay you with love and support."</p>
<p>After listening to you instill wisdom into the souls of deserving moms for many years, I finally had enough courage to follow your advice and my dreams. I wait in anticipation for the transition that soon will take place: the struggle of paying bills, fighting children, mountains of laundry and of course being able to be my husband's girlfriend at any point of the day... No tired wife here! My courage will now allow my children to benefit from my nurturing and teachings and my husband will now be able to focus on providing for our family with his career and dreams.<br /> <br />So my gratitude goes out to you and my husband today and I will continue to count my blessings every second of each day that is given to me and my beautiful family.</p>
<p>All the best,</p>
<p>A proud mom & wife</p>
Staff
2018-03-06T18:58:00Z
Difficulty Making a Commitment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Difficulty-Making-a-Commitment/585511984480674275.html
2018-03-05T18:58:00Z
2018-03-05T18:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Recently you asked, "Some people have difficulty making a commitment to love. With what did you have to struggle before you made such a commitment?"<br /> <br />I started thinking about how to select a partner in junior high school. I then went to an all-boys high school, so not much happened there, but in college, I started looking in earnest. Once I met my future wife, I was not in a hurry, since I figured I should be on a two-year time table. My future wife, however, had never thought of getting married. Her aunt, who sold cosmetics, had made her think she was too ugly to ever find a husband. Furthermore, she was not impressed by the happiness of her parents, so she had pretty much decided she would never get married.</p>
<p>I made my interest known. We were happy dating, and even buying many airplane tickets to stay in touch when I transferred East and she transferred West. Once I decided she was the one, I started to work to convince her we would be good together. I showed her my parents' marriage and told her it was really quite good. At any rate, I finally got her to agree to marry me. We have now had 40 wonderful years together.</p>
<p>So, I guess I was determined to conquer her fear of commitment, and it was never a problem for me, since I found a wonderful person before getting tired of the search. I was a little lucky my thinking about the problem first helped me select a good person. I remember it really helping me avoid the most obvious pitfalls you often talk about.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Peter</p>
Staff
2018-03-05T18:58:00Z
Highlighting Throughout
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Highlighting-Throughout/161393347247012255.html
2018-02-23T18:58:00Z
2018-02-23T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My boyfriend recently gave me your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>" and I was pissed. I immediately flipped through it and ripped it apart, stating it didn't apply to me or us.</p>
<p>The next day I attempted to tell him (in what I thought was a rational manner) something he had done that had upset me and rather than let it fester I wanted to tell him and move on from it. He did not see my point of view on the situation. We argued - did not yell we never do - and I ended up in tears because he didn't want to try anymore and has given me many chances to change my ways. He thought maybe we weren't going to work and he needed time to himself. I was devastated.</p>
<p>I grudgingly picked up your book, and actually read it in one shot. I am a person who likes to highlight to re-read important things again after. Well, I found myself highlighting on every page. I feel like a horrible person for the way I have treated him. I can't wait for him to be off from work again (He works at a camp for 21 days then has 10 days off) so I can try to mend my disastrous ways. But I won't jump on him. I really hope he will be willing to give me one more chance to prove I love him with my being. But if he doesn't, I now know where I went wrong and won't take that road in future relationships.</p>
<p>Thank you.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>R.</p>
Staff
2018-02-23T18:58:00Z
Raising a Bunch of Wimps?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-a-Bunch-of-Wimps/-991698392175472503.html
2018-02-22T18:57:00Z
2018-02-22T18:57:00Z
<p>I overheard this at a coffeeshop yesterday...<br /><br /><br />Woman #1: I'm so tired of playing the same games with my grandkids.<br /><br />Woman #2: Do you play Candyland? Chutes & Ladders?<br /><br />Woman #1: No, they're not allowed to play those games.<br /><br />Woman #2: Why?<br /><br />Woman #1: Because "it's too upsetting if they have to go backward and lose their spot." I swear, I'm so out of touch with this generation. All these 40 year-old college educated mothers are raising a bunch of wimps!</p>
<p>Couldn't help but laugh to myself.<br /><br />Paula</p>
Staff
2018-02-22T18:57:00Z
Bullies Beware of Momma Bears
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bullies-Beware-of-Momma-Bears/678897055940219357.html
2018-02-21T18:58:00Z
2018-02-21T18:58:00Z
<p>I have listened to you my entire life and one thing that has always stuck in my head has been your mantra "I am my kid's mom."</p>
<p>I have been abused, used and traumatized my entire life, starting with an abusive and unloving mother and continuing on into adulthood. All this has left me fearful and timid. I have been diagnosed over my lifetime with almost the entire gambit of anxiety disorders. I am old companions with fight or flight, the later being the chosen path at every situation, except, where my daughter is involved. Then all the anger from my childhood comes to the surface and instead of a fearful timid cub, I am a growling, snarling momma bear. Today, was no different.</p>
<p>While on the way to the bus stop, I saw my daughter being taunted and teased by the neighborhood bully, he never saw me coming, but he heard me! My daughter got to witness the color quickly drain from the bully's face as I firmly told him to NEVER speak to my daughter again with loud clear small words so his puny little ego could understand. He looked as if he needed to go inside and change his pants as I finished. Then I left, and continued walking with my daughter to the bus stop, but instead of crying or being afraid, my daughter was ecstatic. Despite all my fears, she had seen once again that not only do I have her back in life, but when faced with protecting her, I was able to overcome my own anxieties and stand on firm ground and scare a bully. Her timid, fearful, tiny momma scared a bully!!! I told my daughter, you took back the power today, all you have to do is call 911 and you know momma will have your back in pressing charges if the bully ever tries to shove his weight around again.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura, even though I never had a mom to look to for advice, you were always there on the radio, conditioning my young plastic brain for the future, "I am my kid's mom, I am my kid's mom, I am my kid's mom!"...</p>
<p>Kris</p>
Staff
2018-02-21T18:58:00Z
Women Have the Power
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Women-Have-the-Power/812041673378500564.html
2018-02-20T18:58:00Z
2018-02-20T18:58:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura:<br /> <br />Men can't be men today because they don't have the power, women have the power.</p>
<p>Men live by the golden rule "If she is happy, we are happy". It is no longer what's in the best interest of the man; it's what is in the best interest of the woman. A man's job is to make his wife happy, not the other way around. Why? Quite simple. All one has to do is look at the divorce courts. Get out of line; don't make spouse happy, and she files for a divorce. Man loses children, house, half of his income, and pays for spouse's attorney. He loses his life - game over. So the wife, once the children are born, has all the<br />power based on our messed up and irresponsible divorce court system. Men must make their wives happy, or else there will be major consequences for the man, especially if the woman stays home with the children. So men can't be men because they end up with no life - they put up with a lot of crap to just stay out of trouble.<br /> <br />Barry</p>
Staff
2018-02-20T18:58:00Z
Toddling About the Town
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Toddling-About-the-Town/-723772501254345194.html
2018-02-16T18:58:00Z
2018-02-16T18:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura</p>
<p>I have an awful day care story of complete horror for any parent.</p>
<p>My husband's co-worker ran into a local police officer at the store one day. (This community is pretty small, so people know each other by name.) The officer proceeded to talk to him about the crazy incident involving his 2-3 year old (who was in day care). The father, in a state of shock, didn't know of any "incident" at the time.</p>
<p>The officer proceeded to tell him how earlier in the week he picked up the man's toddler wandering around town. In fact, the toddler wasn't just in town but in very close proximity to the main highway. (Did I mention he was supposed to be in day care?) Anyway, the child was returned by the officer safe and sound to the facility. But nothing was ever said to the mom or dad until Dad heard it from the officer. Needless to say the parents were fuming and pulled their child out of day care right away. What a total nightmare!<br /> <br />I guess it does really pay to be a stay-at-home mom. That way you always know where your kids are and what they're doing.</p>
<p>K.</p>
Staff
2018-02-16T18:58:00Z
State of Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/State-of-Marriage/475956261054604238.html
2018-02-15T18:58:00Z
2018-02-15T18:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I came across this quote upon discussion with a friend about our generation's frivolous views of marriage:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>Originally marriage meant the sale of a woman by one man to another; now most women sell themselves though they have no intention of delivering the goods listed in the bill of sale.</em> - Robert Graves (1895 - 1985)</p>
<p>Thank you for your guidance in my marriage and thousands of others.</p>
<p>Brittany</p>
Staff
2018-02-15T18:58:00Z
Forging Relationships with Daughters
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Forging-Relationships-with-Daughters/-562859372681007160.html
2018-02-14T18:58:00Z
2018-02-14T18:58:00Z
<p>My husband has forged close relationships with all 4 of our daughters (our 3 sons too for that matter). He has done this by participating in their care as infants, talking to them, playing with them, teaching them, and just generally interacting with them. As they grew, he participated in their sports activities and other projects. He had funny pet names for them, and teased them and their friends too. Now that 3 of our daughters are married with children, he has become another shoulder for them to lean on when they need any help with anything. He supports their husbands in their endeavors by being available when needed. (We are no help financially - we scrape by as it is.) He's more available than I am since I still work as a Home Health RN so he babysits if needed. One of the daughters is divorced and Poppers is there to help with her son and do "guy things" with him. Our eldest daughter is mentally disabled and lives at home with us. She has a good sense of humor and teases her dad too. Our 3 sons are married with children also and Poppers has another generation of children to play with and tease and teach. He's still a big kid himself.</p>
<p>We've been married almost 50 years (Aug. 25) and we're still very actively involved with life and work and hobbies. Our children are our friends and we are very proud of them and their families. Six of them have college degrees and several with advanced degrees. It is wonderful to see them instilling values and modeling integrity in and for their own children.</p>
<p>Not only has he done this for our own children, but he was a model for my daughters’ (and sons’) friends by being available and being a real man who took care of business and could still be "cool" while other fathers were involved with alcohol, drugs, and new wives who had no room for step-children - or who wielded power by heavy handedness and unreasonable "rules."</p>
<p>Toni</p>
Staff
2018-02-14T18:58:00Z
Creative Ways to Help Kids Behave
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Creative-Ways-to-Help-Kids-Behave/761512795336028832.html
2018-02-13T18:58:00Z
2018-02-13T18:58:00Z
<p>We've done a variety of different things over the years to help our kids "readjust" to a straight path in life. They've been different depending upon the child (we've got 3). But here's one of 'em:</p>
<p>When our 11 year old son dumped all the dog poop for MONTHS over the fence to create a pile that my husband then stepped in the middle of the night when the circuit breaker went flooey, we gave him the next day to clean it up. He did not.</p>
<p>Then we "hired" my husband at his $50 per hour rate for 1.5 hours to clean it up, and "charged" my son at $6.00 per hour to pay that back. We removed everything from his room (including his bed) and he wouldn't get it back until he'd earned it back by labor at his $6 per hour rate. We left him with a sleeping bag and a pillow.</p>
<p>He ended up having to dig a trench at our rental house so we could lay water lines for a new washer/dryer system. It took him 10 hours. I packed him a lunch on a Saturday, gave him a bunch of water, and dropped him off with a pair of work gloves, a shovel, and written instructions.</p>
<p>(He had NO idea I parked around the corner and watched him for safety's sake).</p>
<p>When he finished, exhausted, sweaty, and sore and I picked him up - he said, "Okay - I've learned the value of using my brain for my future - AND of doing the right thing the first time."</p>
<p>Lesson learned.<br /> <br />Alisa</p>
Staff
2018-02-13T18:58:00Z
Memories of Mrs. Maple
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Memories-of-Mrs.-Maple/786437908056449595.html
2018-02-12T18:58:00Z
2018-02-12T18:58:00Z
<p>What will I remember and miss about Mrs. Maple, also known as Miss Paula? (I was never able to adopt the latter title because I always held her in such esteem the more formal title was the only one acceptable.)</p>
<p>I don't think I ever ran into her when she didn't have an immediate smile. Her love for God and others shone so brightly I was surprised to learn she was actually 71 - in my mind she was much younger. Obviously love is a great way to turn back the hands of time.</p>
<p>She held her husband in the noble regard often disregarded today. She always referred to him as Dr. Maple or The Good Doctor. I was always surprised when someone referred to Dr. Maple as "Ted." I always thought, "Who's Ted? You mean DR. Maple!?"</p>
<p>When her grandchildren were born, she brought pictures to share as all grandparents do. Yet, she rejoiced when others had children and grandchildren. Jealousy was never her companion.</p>
<p>She offered timeless advice about being a good wife and mother and offered it in such a manner I was never offended. Once, when we were neighbors, she dropped by on a Monday evening and said, "We missed you at church last night." I said friends had come to visit, to which she replied, "When we had company drop by on a Sunday, I would say, 'We're on our way to church. Won't you come with us?'" She knew how to prioritize.</p>
<p>When I think of her, I picture the color pink: the pink-carpeted bathroom in the house, her pale-pink lipstick and her flowers. I can see her wearing her floppy hat to protect her skin as she gardened in the yard or at the church. I remember her laughter which was accompanied by a twinkle in her eyes.</p>
<p>Getting dressed for most of us is just something we do, a menial task. She viewed getting dressed as an occasion! I cannot recall her looking frumpy or even average - she always wore the best outfit which, of course, was a ladylike skirt.</p>
<p>She was an indefatigable night owl. What a comfort it was when rocking a baby in the middle of the night to look across the way and see her light on. She was a seamstress and a pilot, earning her pilot's license before the ‘Good Doctor,’ if memory serves me correctly.</p>
<p>She was always late to ladies' Bible class and was never flustered when she made her entrance. She'd take her seat and offer sound counsel. She always contributed to the church potluck with a small side dish of something healthy, not the oversize Crockpot of grease and sugar. Even her foibles were graceful!</p>
<p>She was God's partner: when she said she'd pray for you, you never doubted she would pray - faithfully. She never lost the sense of wonderment that many shed upon entering adulthood. May we all rejoice in daily living as she did.</p>
Staff
2018-02-12T18:58:00Z
Remember He's a Man, Not a Woman
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Remember-Hes-a-Man,-Not-a-Woman/-244530182365501092.html
2018-02-09T18:57:00Z
2018-02-09T18:57:00Z
<p>I am 30 years old, married to a wonderful man with three children ages 6, 5 and 1. My father-in-law gave me your book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands," almost 8 years ago for Christmas. As a young, naive woman, I was offended he thought that was a good idea. I put it on the shelf and never read it.</p>
<p>My husband and I recently started to go down a road I thought we never would. I have prayed and prayed for the wisdom God needed me to have in order to restore my marriage. About four days ago, I went to the shelf and started to thumb through your book. Low and behold, God's plan was at my fingertips the whole time. Between my daily devotions and the knowledge I have found in your book, I feel like a new woman. My husband is happy again and I in return am happier than I have been in a long time. I know what you're saying...that it's only been four days since you start to transform your thinking! But it's true, when I stopped wanting my husband to think like a WOMAN and I was NICE to him on a daily basis and loved him the way I should, life completely changed!!! I have been neglecting him so much in the last eight years, it devastates me.</p>
<p>I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being so straight forward and cutting through all the crap. I needed a good butt chewing and I got it. I know we have a lot of work to do to keep our marriage strong but I have made a promise to myself: I will take it one day at a time and do everything I can to keep things in perspective and remember he's a man, NOT A WOMAN!!</p>
<p>Thank you for everything!</p>
<p>Brittany</p>
Staff
2018-02-09T18:57:00Z
Kids Come Before New Love Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Kids-Come-Before-New-Love-Life/-846596503504513889.html
2018-02-08T18:58:00Z
2018-02-08T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dear Dr. Laura: <br /><br />Thank you for never letting off the hook those parents who put their love life ahead of the well-being of their minor children. <br /><br />My childhood was miserable because my parents married and divorced numerous times, shacked up, married people with kids, made new kids, etc. All of this nonsense affected the lives of eleven children. Somehow I prevailed, married a wonderful man and for three decades have lived the happy life I dreamed about as a kid. I use his parents as a model of marriage and family life and use my own parents as models of what NOT to do. Consequently, we created a warm, loving and safe home for our children. <br /><br />My heart goes out to those children your callers often talk about. These kids have no choice in the situations that are created for them by the adults in their lives, yet the adults are often mystified by why the children behave the way they do. It's so sad. Please continue telling parents in these scenarios that what they are doing is wrong - the well-being of kids should always come first. You're doing the right thing! <br /><br />Jo</p>
Staff
2018-02-08T18:58:00Z
My Simple Plan
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Simple-Plan/88535058528855458.html
2018-02-07T18:58:00Z
2018-02-07T18:58:00Z
<br />Dr.Laura, <br /><br />I am the proud mother of seven children, and yes I gave birth to all of them. I raised all my children the with the same consistent values, principals and rules of the game. In addition, I raised them myself for the last 10 years when my "was-band" decided to leave.<br /><br /><br />My plan is simple:<br /><br />
<ul>
<li>I am the head of my house hold. </li>
<br />
<li>Don't look at me funny or we will have a problem. </li>
<br />
<li>I make the rules, and I will not consult or negotiate those rules with you....evvvvverrr. </li>
<br />
<li>You will be respectful with your elders. Watch your language and behavior around both them and small children as they are watching you and using you as a guide. </li>
<br />
<li>If you misbehave on the school bus, I don't care what their policy is. I give my permission on the first day of school to the driver to boot you off. You are dangerously distracting the driver. </li>
<br />
<li>Don't come home and tell me how mean your teacher is, put yourself in her shoes. She deserves a huge reward just for showing up. </li>
<br />
<li>Eat what is put before you and be grateful you have something to eat. </li>
<br />
<li>Do not judge the person who doesn't behave exactly as you want them to or shows signs of what you would describe as weird. Walk a mile in their shoes. You don't know what goes on in their home. It's your job to include these kids in your circle at any given chance. (You might be the only person that paid good attention to them in their day.) </li>
<br />
<li>No is a word that you will get to know well because there will be more "no's" in your life than "yes's". </li>
<br />
<li>I love you enough to teach you about life and it's rewards and it's consequences, as there will be many in your lifetime. If you have learned to deal with them forever, you will be well equipped in life and I have done my job. </li>
<br />
<li>If you don't like me at least 10 times per week, then I know I am on the right track as your parent. </li>
</ul>
I teach them to be responsible for their own behavior and actions and never address an issue until I have a clear understanding of their contribution. I am a personal trainer and an Iron-Woman. I believe in pushup's, burpee's, running and biking as a wonderful deterrent to ants in the pants... just my two cents. <br /><br />
Staff
2018-02-07T18:58:00Z
I Guess We Raised Her Right
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Guess-We-Raised-Her-Right/-3652820062409431.html
2018-02-06T18:58:00Z
2018-02-06T18:58:00Z
<p>I called you looking for affirmation that my husband and I had given our daughter the right advice. She had been asked by a friend's mother to throw a surprise birthday party for this friend, but then the mother said that my daughter shouldn't invite a certain few people in the church youth group that this girl didn't get along with. We advised our daughter to either invite everyone in the youth group at church or not throw the party. But we wondered if perhaps we were off base. You affirmed our counsel to our daughter, advising me to call the mother to let her know that everyone would be invited or no party.</p>
<p>Turns out, I didn't need to call her. My sweet daughter did it herself, and before I even had a chance to tell her that I would do it. I love that girl! She invited everyone; the ones who didn't get along with the birthday girl didn't come, and the party was a big success! My daughter had a number of fun activities planned, and the birthday girl was thrilled.</p>
<p>Thank you for the encouragement I've always gotten from you to be the wife and mother that my instincts have always told me that I need to be. As my kids would say...You ROCK!</p>
<p>Heidi</p>
Staff
2018-02-06T18:58:00Z
Can You Hear Me Now?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Can-You-Hear-Me-Now/366654604572303141.html
2018-02-05T18:58:00Z
2018-02-05T18:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Is it just me noticing this or is this the sad new norm: Mothers deliberately ignoring their children whilst selfishly too busy on their cell phones while shopping etc to pay attention to their children...</p>
<p>If I was a child again, I could NOT imagine my mother too pre-occupied being busy on the phone ignoring me while out shopping... What must children of these parents be growing up thinking???</p>
<p>Clearly it is telling children they are NOT important enough for parents to focus on them, to do their job raising and teaching by example HEALTHY behavior! No wonder children grow up not being potty trained or having any manners - parents are too busy being selfish and lazy to guide their offspring into contributing members of society.</p>
<p>How sad to witness parents on cell phones ignoring the glorious moments they should be cherishing with their children...</p>
<p>Love & respect your advice Dr. Laura- Keep the tractor going…</p>
<p>Hugs,</p>
<p>Lara</p>
Staff
2018-02-05T18:58:00Z
Support and Wisdom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Support-and-Wisdom/-175802571504304223.html
2018-02-02T18:58:00Z
2018-02-02T18:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>You changed my life. Seventeen years ago you were the voice of sanity in a sea of naysayers (even my own sister!) when I wanted to leave my job and stay home with my infant son. I did it anyway and listened to you every afternoon just to get the affirmation from someone that I was doing the right thing. We were so broke we couldn't afford a thing beyond diapers and formula, but we did it and I don't regret a moment of it!</p>
<p>You were the voice of reason who helped me keep my marriage together when we lost track of our shared goals. Our kids were still young and my husband traveled a lot and we both were miserable! Your book "Proper Care and Feeing of Husbands" showed me the way to keep our family together and we are now happier than ever before. Married 23 years with two teenagers, we are doing great since Dad is home every night because we moved to another state so we could have family dinners and telling conversations every night!</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for sharing your wisdom. My life is better for it!</p>
<p>J.</p>
Staff
2018-02-02T18:58:00Z
State of Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/State-of-Marriage/-985811369378873805.html
2018-02-01T18:58:00Z
2018-02-01T18:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I came across this quote upon discussion with a friend about our generation's frivolous views of marriage:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>Originally marriage meant the sale of a woman by one man to another; now most women sell themselves though they have no intention of delivering the goods listed in the bill of sale.</em> - Robert Graves (1895 - 1985)</p>
<p>Thank you for your guidance in my marriage and thousands of others.</p>
<p>Brittany</p>
Staff
2018-02-01T18:58:00Z
Tired Husband's List
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Tired-Husbands-List/417588618165255918.html
2018-01-31T18:58:00Z
2018-01-31T18:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura</p>
<p>I have been married 19 years have 7 and 12 year old daughters. My wife is a stay at home Mom. I have given up on being happy in my marriage for many of the reasons you are constantly dealing with on your program. My wife constantly asks me "what is wrong?" I just say "I am tired" I cannot tell her, I have tried and it falls on deaf ears so I wrote this list. I have not given it to her but maybe you can give it to the millions of married women that listen to your show.</p>
<p><br />I'm Tired</p>
<p>1) I'm tired of fighting to have the kids eat a banana for a snack instead of ice cream, or something little like turning unused lights off.<br />2) I'm tired of being told I don't do enough around the house that I work to pay for us to live in. I do help, "enough" - I just don't know what "enough" means.<br />3) I'm tired of working late only to come to bed with a dog and child in my place.<br />4) I'm tired of 90% of my opinions being belittled, criticized or dismissed and then being told I never want to talk.<br />5) I'm tired of being told we never talk.<br />6) I'm tired of being told "that's what it takes" when it comes to household expenditures with no thought given to "that's what we have".<br />7) I'm tired of living in what amounts to a "strip club," where you see a naked woman, but can't touch her.<br />8) I'm tired of my "tone" of my words trumping my "content" of them.<br />9) I'm tired of being told "stop talking to your daughter as if she is a teenager" and now that she is close to being a teenager living a level of disrespect no adult should have to suffer at the hands of a "tween."<br />10) I'm tired of my spouse more worried about the "details of life" rather than "living life"<br />11) I'm tired of my few interests in life being made fun of and belittled / called unimportant.<br />12) I 'm tired of having the first thing come out of her mouth when I wake up, or get home, is what is wrong with our lives.<br />13) I'm tired of my family having no concept of what it takes to keep us in the place we are in this world, but only complaining about what is missing.<br />14) Finally, I'm tired of fighting my desire to leave, and not be "tired" anymore. This would surely destroy my children, and cuts to the core of what I think a good man is: one who doesn't care how hard life is because responsibility comes first. So I am going to be miserable, stay.. and continue to be "tired."</p>
<p>Rob</p>
Staff
2018-01-31T18:58:00Z
Relatives and Inheritance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Relatives-and-Inheritance/-928176342799208899.html
2018-01-30T18:58:00Z
2018-01-30T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Many years ago, when I was around 8 or 9 years of age, my mom took in my 'aunt' (much further relation then that) in her last years of life. She was a lovely old lady whom I liked very much.</p>
<p>At one point in life, Auntie had had a considerable amount of money. By the time she passed, after all the medical bills had been paid, there were only a few thousand - I don't remember exactly how much.</p>
<p>To set the stage, my mom worked as a registered nurse. She made a comfortable income, but not outstanding. The other "relatives" easily made 10 times what my mom did. They lived in areas like Great Neck, etc. We lived in a more modest area. <br />During Auntie's last months, out of all these "relatives", not one came to visit, save one 'uncle', and that was only once and very brief.</p>
<p>After Auntie passed, all these... "people" brought a lawsuit claiming Mom had abused and beaten Auntie, and Auntie had actually intended the money for them, so on and so forth. Total, complete and utter nonsense. Thank God, for once, for a judge's discretion to toss cases out of court. This was so obvious, and he did so without even listening to one word from these greedy bastards.</p>
<p>I never saw any of them again, ever. We never heard one word out of them, not a card, note, nothing, for which I'm eternally grateful.</p>
<p>I admit, this totally jaded me on 'family'. I see where it works, where it is strong, supportive, but I have seen too much of the dysfunctional side (sadly, including my own mother to a degree) that rules affairs.</p>
<p>I am a total cynic, crossed with pessimism. I cannot understand why people go after other people simply because they wear the title 'family'.</p>
<p>E</p>
Staff
2018-01-30T18:58:00Z
Seeing Clearly...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Seeing-Clearly.../-354616600762936339.html
2018-01-29T18:57:00Z
2018-01-29T18:57:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I love your message in your last video: Defending Against a Bully.</p>
<p>As I teach my 10 year old daughter (who is now a purple belt in Tae Kwon Do and she struggles with her hatred of injustice and indecency she sees schools expect kids to stomach) <em>"you have two sets of separate rules to follow: rules of your home and rules of the school. Generally, both are very much in agreement, but not everything - particularly how to handle a bully. When the rules of your home and the rules of the school collide, rules of the home prevail, and I'll deal with those consequences. You may even experience an event where the school calls what you did wrong and but at home you're rewarded. It is only confusing to you now because you're a child, but as you grow up, you'll see more clearly."</em></p>
<p>Well, she actually sees clearly already.</p>
<p>Thanks for doing what you do!</p>
<p>Jeff</p>
Staff
2018-01-29T18:57:00Z
Keeping Steam and Sizzle in the Bedroom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-Steam-and-Sizzle-in-the-Bedroom/-527050369663331972.html
2018-01-26T18:58:00Z
2018-01-26T18:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>My husband is easy. He's pretty much in the mood all the time. Whenever, wherever... we have sex at least once a day, sometimes two or three (and we're in our 40's). But because women are different, I found that it's good to always stay "prepared"... One way is, I NEVER go to bed with clothes on. The second is that I have a few things I rotate inside of my head about my husband throughout the day. Things I love about him, things that attracted me to him in the first place. I focus fully on one or two things and before I know it, I'm ready to go. And yes, even with a headache.</p>
<p>My mother taught me to never say no to my husband, but I realize that there is a difference between just being a willing participant and being right there in the moment with him. It's my very favorite part of the life we share, and I think it's his, too.</p>
<p>Julie</p>
Staff
2018-01-26T18:58:00Z
Where has Optimism Gone?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Where-has-Optimism-Gone/-945610895055147284.html
2018-01-25T18:57:00Z
2018-01-25T18:57:00Z
<p>Optimism is important to have; especially in these days. However, the young teens, and young adults don't seem to have a lot of optimism or good mental health to cheer themselves up or to cheer themselves on. I also find the attitude of many 40-year-old parents to be that of "blunt" and "dull." These parents of the younger adults, take the same attitude as their young adult children or teens which is to just act "cool" so that it comes down to no interest in raising their children, or they just appear disinterested and don't have good mental health.</p>
<p>The young adults and teenagers of today, like to manipulate their parents, and it seems that many parents are manipulated to the point where they can't even see what is going on. Their children want things run "their way". If more young adults and teenagers were optimistic, maybe we would be kinder to one another. Sometimes I wonder if the young adults even know how to be sincerely optimistic. It seems like the "bad attitude", "so cool or way too cool" ways are the trends nowadays. Do they know what optimism even is? It comes down to the parent, and the 40-year-old parent, just acts like their "middle-school kid".</p>
<p>Sure it's hard to be optimistic at times, but to me, it is a sign that one is not giving up and has a good mind where he/she isn't so critical of everything (pessimistic). It helps to at least look on the bright side and hope for the best in many situations.</p>
<p>It doesn't hurt to be optimistic, but it can hurt to be pessimistic.</p>
<p>Sue</p>
Staff
2018-01-25T18:57:00Z
Docto Wawa
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Docto-Wawa/170224094976671719.html
2018-01-24T18:58:00Z
2018-01-24T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura! <br /><br />I had a cute situation with my 3-year-old twin daughters that I wanted to share with you. I am a stay at home mom and happily married to an amazing man. Today I had your program on our satellite radio in the kitchen as I was making lunch for the girls. <br /><br />I called them to the table to eat and as they were eating, one of my daughters stopped, listened and said "<em>oh! It's D</em>octo Wawa<em>!</em>" She knew it was you, just from the sound of your voice. It made me laugh and think of all of your callers who tell you they remember listening to you since they were little and carried your messages with them throughout their lives. <br /><br />Thank you for being here and staying here! <br /><br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Jean</p>
Staff
2018-01-24T18:58:00Z
The Mental Workout of a Lifetime
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Mental-Workout-of-a-Lifetime/-905131082807351615.html
2018-01-23T18:58:00Z
2018-01-23T18:58:00Z
<p>I graduated in 1968, after a New York State Regents scholarship paid for my entire education. I also worked summers to pay for books and to help at home as my dad was disabled.</p>
<p>That would not be possible today. I guess I'd work all day and go to school at night, taking many extra years to get my degree. Or, I'd just save up till I had enough to minimize any debt I incurred. Our kids are extremely lucky to have their educations paid for. Most can't do this.</p>
<p>A college education is still essential, not just because of jobs. If you study and are in rigorous programs, you will get a 4-year mental workout that will last a lifetime. It's not the current view, but it's my view that a liberal arts education is essential. Throughout life, you run into situations which might lead you to compromise ideals, quality of thought, and to stop asking so many pesky questions. Not good. An educated and questioning population is the best insurance against social decay like we're experiencing now.</p>
<p>Anyway, what's harder for kids now is, obviously, the cost of college. What may not be so obvious is the anti-intellectual trend of our society, the tendency to settle for the easy fix (TV, movies, easy reading, junk food) and not examine things. I would not have made it as a SAHM without the mental strength I had because of my education. My self-esteem was under assault constantly, and I was able to fight back.</p>
<p>It's very scary, because our country is at a crossroads. We could lose many freedoms unless we stay alert, talk back, and ask questions. One may be born with some type of genetic level of intelligence, but it does take training to develop it, and college is definitely worth it.</p>
<p>Barbara</p>
Staff
2018-01-23T18:58:00Z
Keeping Me On My Toes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-Me-On-My-Toes/-651070692177505893.html
2018-01-22T18:58:00Z
2018-01-22T18:58:00Z
<p><br />My dearest Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I wanted to share with you how my 4-year-old son has recently kept me on my toes. We were in the car on Monday driving home from the store when he said, “<em>Mom, I want an iPad</em>”. Knowing how kids rot their brains out on all these devices these days, I responded with, “<em>Well honey… maybe when you get a little older</em>”. He sighed and dropped the subject. <br /><br />Tuesday, he asked again, “<em>Mommy, can I get an iPad</em>?” I smiled at him and said “<em>Sweetie, there are so many other fun things to do. Let’s play a board game instead</em>”. He smiled and I thought I had won. Until yesterday. <br /><br />As we were driving to pick his 11-year-old brother up from school, he said, “<em>Mom, can I <strong>PLEASE</strong> get an iPad???</em>” Realizing this was a subject he just wasn’t going to forget about, I said “<em>Why do you want an iPad so badly? What would you do with an I-Pad?</em>” He smiled from ear to ear and said, “<em>I just want to play pirates with my friends</em>”. It was then I realized he meant an eye-patch. <br /><br />I simply adore you and have for the 20+ years I have listened to you. Please continue to bless us with your insight as long as you possibly can. <br /><br /><br />Love, <br /><br />Jean</p>
Staff
2018-01-22T18:58:00Z
Parenting Mistakes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parenting-Mistakes/-7845101330568131.html
2018-01-22T18:57:00Z
2018-01-22T18:57:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />You recently asked about parenting mistakes and I have to admit, they are too numerous to count. Back in the day I was a yeller. I am not proud of it. Many a time I fought back the tears and vowed to never yell at my kids like that....and that is exactly what I have done.I learned how to stop myself dead in my tracks and calm down before dealing with my boy. I am happy to say that I learned from my mistakes and my boy is turning out to be a decent young man. <br /><br />I have always given him a lot of myself and have always taken parenthood seriously. Imagine my relief to hear him say what he said when he was 4 years old: "<em>You give me lots of love and you teach me things.</em>" He may be 17 and a typical teenager, but I am lucky to have a teenager who still talks to me. This tells me that he feels comfortable approaching me. <br /><br />Thank you for taking the time to read this. Any questions, please feel free to contact me. Keep up all your good work<br /><br /><br />Blessings, <br /><br />Lucy</p>
Staff
2018-01-22T18:57:00Z
He Asked for a Separation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Asked-for-a-Separation/-894492456448449799.html
2018-01-19T18:58:00Z
2018-01-19T18:58:00Z
<p>I just recently read your book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands," hoping to save my marriage. It's AMAZING! I never realized how horrible I have treated my husband. Thank you so much for giving me insight on how to be a good wife.</p>
<p>My husband and I have been together for 10 years and married for 8 years. We have gone through a lot. I had a rough childhood, on the other hand his parents were married until his dad passed away almost 4 years ago. We had 2 completely different childhoods. I took my bad experiences and related them to our daily lives. I didn't realize this until he asked for a separation. He is an amazing husband and father. I took advantage of him and he had finally had enough in October.</p>
<p>We have 2 young boys, 5 and 3 years old. We both have very stressful jobs and we work opposite night shifts so one parent is always with the boys.</p>
<p>I have done everything possible to make this work. He came home Oct 24th! Our marriage has improved. Neither of us has been truly happy - until now.</p>
<p>Thank you so much!</p>
<p>A.</p>
Staff
2018-01-19T18:58:00Z
Lucky to Have a Wife Like You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lucky-to-Have-a-Wife-Like-You/-88949684087859033.html
2018-01-19T18:57:00Z
2018-01-19T18:57:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My husband is in the military and is only allowed to write me letters and call maybe once every two weeks. Even though I am so proud of him and his service I started feeling a little disconnected, lonely, and resentful, but then I read your book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". <br /><br />I got to go see my husband for a weekend and I became his girlfriend with way more benefits. I just received a letter from him (the first one I've gotten since our weekend together) and it said "I had such a good time this past weekend. I love you. I still can't believe how I got so lucky in this world to have a wife like you. You are the sexiest woman in the whole world. THE WAY YOU LOVE, MAKES ME WORK HARDER TO BE A BETTER MAN TO YOU." Sounds like something right out of your book! So instead of resenting him for his job and being away, I started treating him like the REAL MAN he is...he is my provider and, not only my protector, but part of this Country's.</p>
<p>Thank you for all you do.</p>
<p>C.</p>
Staff
2018-01-19T18:57:00Z
Shutting Off the Power
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Shutting-Off-the-Power/656173301623252244.html
2018-01-18T18:58:00Z
2018-01-18T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Recently we visited our son in New York and met his fiancée and her 3 children. They have since married. While we were there, an earthquake occurred (the one in Virginia by Wash. DC) and then Hurricane Irene came ashore. Their power was knocked out during the hurricane. With no power, there was no internet, no electronic games and no television. What to do? Well, we spent the whole evening and most of the next day before we left just sitting around and visiting. We truly got to know our new grandkids and daughter in law. We also reconnected with our son who we had not seen for several years. It was fantastic! I told my son he ought to go shut the power off every once in a while just so they could sit around and talk. Hope he does it!</p>
<p>Thank for all the excellent advice and insight Dr. Laura.</p>
<p>Frank</p>
Staff
2018-01-18T18:58:00Z
Validation for How I Feel
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Validation-for-How-I-Feel/845254346498316081.html
2018-01-18T18:57:00Z
2018-01-18T18:57:00Z
<br />I wanted to thank you for your book, The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands. I just wish I could convince my wife to read it. We have only been married for two and a half years - my 3rd and her fourth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has been up and down and I certainly have been a contributing factor.<br /><br /> We are both Christians and have been to two different counselors but nothing seems to help: she picks me apart, is condescending very judgmental and calls me names. I want so badly for this to work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I feel like I have made adjustments and I am trying to do better every day. When I try to talk to her about my feelings and things she does that are hurtful, she turns around and makes it my fault. I am not sure where to go from here, I keep praying for things to get better every day, but have serious doubts she can change.<br /><br /> Again thank you for your book. It made me realize my feelings are real and not invalid.
<p> </p>
Staff
2018-01-18T18:57:00Z
My Third Parent
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Third-Parent/-154013544993410710.html
2018-01-17T18:58:00Z
2018-01-17T18:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I have been listening to your program since I was in a car seat in my dad's car. He was a big talk-radio junkie in the 90's and your show became one of my favorite things about driving with my dad. I remember sitting in the car with my head against the window, completely silent, listening to you talk to the hurting, the normal, the crazy, and the absolutely outrageous. They never stopped coming to you with their problems and needs. <br /><br />As I grew older, your conversations with callers became my lessons. Your honesty became a part of how my family lived life. The answer to a tough question would be "What do you think Dr. Laura would say?" You were the salvation to silly problems in my developing life, and when Mom and Dad's "uncool" answers weren't good enough- yours seemed to do the trick.<br /><br />As I got older, the choices I made became less of how you would have handled them/ answered them, and I started to act more like the callers you counseled. Even still, one of the memories that keeps me and my father's relationship together is the "Dr. Laura" take on things. You helped contribute to the father/daughter bond that can only be created by life's lessons.<br /><br />Thank you for having such a meaningful impact on my life. Without a doubt you are one of the most inspirational women in the business, and I have to thank you for helping guide me through life's choices for over fifteen years. Through helping others, you helped me grow to be the person I am today. As ridiculous as that sounds, I have you to thank for raising me along side of my parents. <br /><br />Thank you for all you did and continue to do,<br /><br />Kelly</p>
Staff
2018-01-17T18:58:00Z
Disrespectful Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Disrespectful-Kids/-179860287102634788.html
2018-01-17T18:57:00Z
2018-01-17T18:57:00Z
<p>I could totally relate to the call about the disrespectful boy throwing his homework at Dad. When I called my pastor about my husband being too hard on our 19 year old son, thinking the pastor would side with me, he had this to say:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em> "Kids these days are over-mothered and under-fathered."</em></p>
<p>I was totally convicted of my sins as 'over-mothering'. When I listen to your callers sometimes discuss their disrespectful kids, especially the teens and up, I will say out loud to you and repeat what my pastor said, 'They're over-mothered and under-fathered'. </p>
Thought you might like that phrase.
<p> </p>
Staff
2018-01-17T18:57:00Z
He Did the Dishes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Did-the-Dishes/714345518282056023.html
2018-01-16T18:58:00Z
2018-01-16T18:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>In one of your books (I think it was The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, or Marriage), there was a wife who wrote about how she told her husband he looked sexy washing the dishes, so he decided to do it more often! <br /><br />I am a SAHM and I totally do not expect my hard-working husband to do the dishes, as that is one of my many tasks I perform at home. But, I was surprised the other night (the day after we made AWESOME LOVE), when he did the dishes I had soaking in the sink while I was busy with bedtime routines for our two children. <br /><br />It was unexpected, but greatly appreciated of course! Did this happen because of "properly caring" for my husband? If so, I really have to keep up the proper caring!<br /><br />Thanks again,</p>
<p>Jennifer</p>
Staff
2018-01-16T18:58:00Z
Your 'Dose of Reality'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Your-Dose-of-Reality/587774677168627810.html
2018-01-16T18:57:00Z
2018-01-16T18:57:00Z
<p>I called about a month ago asking how I could get over my anger of my former sister-in-law dating less than 6 months after my brother’s suicide. You gave me a HUGE slap in the face (or dose of reality) as I call it. You told me whatever she did now is none of my business and I should move on. I sat there and replayed that phone call in my head numerous times and WOW...I just wanted to say THANK YOU! Letting go of all that anger and hatred I had for her was consuming my life and exhausting me. In the last few weeks, it's felt really good to have "that" out of me. You are awesome!! Thank you again!!!</p>
<p>Robyn</p>
<p>P.S. I am my therapist's listener! LOL</p>
Staff
2018-01-16T18:57:00Z
Havin' BABIES and Husbands!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Havin-BABIES-and-Husbands!/178351277799852236.html
2018-01-15T18:58:00Z
2018-01-15T18:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I guess we just LOVE having babies, because we have four under five and I'm not even 28!</p>
<p>We have a little experience with childbirth you could say. Our first had a serious birth defect and was a crazy pregnancy, labor and delivery. Our second was a surprise and showed up just 13 months later! Our third got stuck and was injured in the process. Our fourth (our first girl) got stuck too! They are all alive and well for now and we love them dearly!</p>
<p>I don't think you can really prepare for labor and delivery because of the variety of deliveries. My hubby is a 6'5, 220 lb. PURE man! But blood makes him squeamish and he doesn't like seeing me in pain (so sweet). So, he kept telling himself he would not be in the delivery room. He would not watch! Then, when it came down to it, love conquered all and because we have such a close bond and were so excited for each baby, he held his head high and EVEN cut the cord! I think adrenaline is a gift from God in these situations.</p>
<p>I did try and prepare him a little by telling him some things to beware of, but that might have made the anticipation even worse. I think the fact that "I" stayed calm throughout (with many of prayers!) helped him a lot! We realized after our first, we are only in control of so much and the rest is in God's hands. We can't prevent everything! There's no use in worrying over those things you can't prevent, so go in there bravely and with hope. Most likely everything will be okay...and IF NOT...hopefully we can be strong!</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Laura (loving mother and even more loving wife</p>
Staff
2018-01-15T18:58:00Z
Helping Dad in the Delivery Room
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Helping-Dad-in-the-Delivery-Room/-706457342063096656.html
2018-01-15T18:57:00Z
2018-01-15T18:57:00Z
<p>Hello, Dr. Laura.</p>
<p>My kids are 12 and 15. My husband was "required" to be in the delivery room, and although he is a pretty tough guy, he REALLY doesn't like the sight of blood. Don't get me wrong, I've seen him help a wounded woman with a rock wedged into her leg, so he can bring his tough stuff when there's an emergency, but it's not his first choice.</p>
<p>That being said, I told him I really wanted and expected him to be in the delivery room, but he could sit at my side facing "North", meaning facing my face, and keep the eyes averted for the whole procedure. He could look at the babies when he wanted to (right away, as it turned out), but we both said, "NO Thank you!" when they offered him the chance to cut the umbilical cord. This was a great solution for both of us. He then accompanied the babies to the nursery and videotaped their first baths and such, but got to miss the messy part of the delivery. It was great, and a good time (thanks to the epidural and an incredible level of joy and excitement!) was had by all.</p>
<p>All the best,</p>
<p>Jackie</p>
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Staff
2018-01-15T18:57:00Z
Stopping the Whining - Taking Responsibility
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stopping-the-Whining---Taking-Responsibility/-567871063290140399.html
2018-01-12T18:58:00Z
2018-01-12T18:58:00Z
<p>Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I never realized how much of a whiner I was until just last night. I was at a job, unhappy with the circumstances I found myself in, and made my displeasure known. To my immense surprise, a coworker blew up at me.</p>
<p>Looking back on it tonight, more than 24 hours later, I understand why. I have been living my life as if I have no control over my emotions, my body language, and the things that go on in my life. I have been endlessly frustrating the people around me - and pushing away the very people I wanted to keep close.</p>
<p>It's safe to say this attitude has been bad for me. In fact, a couple years ago I found myself admitted to the local psych ward because of suicidal thoughts. I don't understand why it took a co-worker blowing up at me for me to understand I needed to change but it did.</p>
<p>I didn't know anything about you before today - in fact, when I set foot outside my front door, I hadn't even intended to go book shopping! I left the house to go shopping for something I needed for daily living.</p>
<p>At the point I left work last night, I was wallowing in misery. I hated my job. I hated myself. I hated the person I was. I spent most of today with a wallower's headache: it was well after 5pm when I even bothered dressing to go out to get what I needed.</p>
<p>I knew I needed to change. I wanted to change. I just didn't know how, and was convinced it wouldn't matter if I did anyway. I had prayed last night to God for a way to help me change myself for the better, for a way to become a better person.</p>
<p>When I went shopping today, I passed by a book shop. Your book wasn't in the window, it was another book that lured me inside, but it was your book, “Stop Whining – Start Living” I left with. I'm writing this email after having finished it.</p>
<p>My eyes have been opened. I know now God put your book in my path, an answer to my prayers.</p>
<p>I know the road I'll be walking now won't be easy, but it'll be better than the self-destructive, lonely, and suicidal road I've been on the last several years.</p>
<p>Twenty-three isn't too late to turn things around, so that's what I'm going to start doing. It's time to take control of and responsibility for my life.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura. You, and your book, are a God sent gift.</p>
<p>Melissa</p>
Staff
2018-01-12T18:58:00Z
Bonding with Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bonding-with-Dad/-209637248124539118.html
2018-01-12T18:57:00Z
2018-01-12T18:57:00Z
<p>I'm not a mother or father, but I'm a daughter who took the time I spent with my father seriously. When I was a teenager, my dad drove me to and from youth group, and while he drove we talked - about boys, dating, school, whatever came up. As a result, my dad became someone I could turn to when I needed advice on something, and those moments kept me sane through some very difficult times later in life.</p>
<p>Those moments in the car gave us a bond beyond biology, because we were genuinely interested in each other's lives. That still holds true today, almost ten years later. I credit those moments we spent together just talking as the reason he and I have such a strong relationship. I treasure those moments more with each passing day, and I am so grateful to my dad for taking the time to talk and just be there for me.</p>
<p>If I am lucky enough to become a parent, I expect my husband to do the same for our children.</p>
<p>Amanda</p>
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Staff
2018-01-12T18:57:00Z
Easy to Love Him
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Easy-to-Love-Him/382316180245503183.html
2018-01-11T18:58:00Z
2018-01-11T18:58:00Z
<p>When I first met my husband, I said to myself, “What a goof!” Silly me, I fell in love. Now I laugh every day.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for decades of wise counsel. Your radio show and books opened my eyes, ears, and heart. Over time I heeded to your marriage advice: choose wisely and treat kindly. When I married my husband, I married his family of 2 young adult children. When I said “I do,” I fully agreed to not having babies. I chose to invest in my husband, his son, and his daughter. I have had no regrets. Their love has blessed me. Of course, I took my time with my decision to marry and took pre-marital counseling with my husband. During this time I realized I didn't need to be married to be fulfilled. However, I chose to marry my best friend because I wanted to laugh, love, and grow with him. We just celebrated our eighth anniversary.</p>
<p>Our first three years were emotionally challenging. I cried a lot. It was during this time I read your book, “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.” Wow! It was amazing how quickly our lives moved in a positive motion once I changed my habits. You guided me to be quiet, listen well, and play more. I learned to hear how I was received no matter my intent. I silenced my fearful “what ifs." Then, I poured on the small showers of affection. My passion was food to my husband's being. Now, he eagerly moves mountains for me. Being married to my husband has made me a better person. I adore how easy it is to love him. Two years ago my husband's daughter and son said to me, “We like who our Dad is when he is with you.” My heart jumped for joy.</p>
<p>I am so grateful to be my husband's girlfriend. He is my Sunshine. He lights up my world and keeps me giggling.</p>
<p>M.</p>
Staff
2018-01-11T18:58:00Z
Admitting Reality
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Admitting-Reality/726713111776471623.html
2018-01-11T18:57:00Z
2018-01-11T18:57:00Z
<p>Unfortunately, I have made several decisions I've regretted, but the biggest is not admitting to myself, let alone the world, that I was gay until I was 34. I kept up the denial hoping to one day marry a nice woman and have kids. It was after talking to you I realized I couldn't do that to a woman and I finally realized I had to admit reality. Now I have to find my way in life in a way I didn't plan for. I spent my entire adult life preparing for a family, but always put it off, I guess because I knew it was wrong. Facing reality and changing directions is very difficult, and I have a long way to go to figure out my place in my new world.</p>
<p>By the way, THANK YOU, Dr. Laura for the help you've given me. It may be difficult, but I'm much relieved to be able to be open and honest with myself and my family. You helped me remove that burden, and I'm very thankful.<br /><br />Ken</p>
Staff
2018-01-11T18:57:00Z
Living with Technology
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Living-with-Technology/-995521823210993393.html
2018-01-10T18:58:00Z
2018-01-10T18:58:00Z
<p>I have never joined the social media sites. I was fortunate to have family who allow me to be a voyeur on occasions where you have to be a FB member to participate - Thank you for not making me "have to" to communicate with you.</p>
<p>As a single mother of a daughter, I've had to educate myself in these areas for obvious reasons.</p>
<p>I really, really dislike the sterile communication. People have too many "faces" as it is. You can say whatever you want about whomever you like, or don't like and whoever the audience is buys it, perpetuates it, exaggerates it etc.</p>
<p>Teenage girls can be ruthless. The popularity contest alone is maddening! It also invites the creeps into their lives. Thank goodness my little girl is 23 now and most of that is behind her however, the gossip remains at issue. I simply reiterate the evil of gossip then move onto another topic. I won't allow her to whine about it, I will not converse or commiserate with her further. I know it's making a difference; all I can do is stand by and wait for the penny drop.</p>
<p>The worst is the death of a friend who had a FB account. My daughter has unfortunately had more experience with friends dying than I have. I mean, I never had "500 friends" so the statistics alone raise the possibilities. The connection continues after death. Some have overdosed on drugs, some have committed suicide. It's led to many serious conversations, all with healthy conclusions but the after death connection where, alerts come to your inbox every time a note is made on the deceased's FB wall brings the sadness back to the surface and her whole being is plunged back into the grief and sadness of the loss. It pains me a great deal and of course I must try to keep myself centered and unaffected. It's not always possible to hide the eye roll of "waaa not this again! " When caught, she has accused me of being cold and heartless. Although that hurts, I simply move on and encourage her to live, do not wither in their demise. Live and be intentionally happy. They threw it away don't let them steal your life; please disconnect from their FB Wall!</p>
<p>So, I'd say from my experience it's harmed my family. Many cannot live without connecting. It drives me nuts!</p>
<p>Professionally I have benefitted a great deal from technology. Family and friend connections, not so much!</p>
<p>Have a great day! Thank you for the positive input you offer to so many of life's moral challenges. I have listened and benefitted for 20 years and am most certainly a better person as a result.</p>
<p>Now I'm ready to go take on the day!</p>
<p>Many thanks,</p>
<p>Eva</p>
Staff
2018-01-10T18:58:00Z
7th Grade Boys Behavior
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/7th-Grade-Boys-Behavior/-995684678741141985.html
2018-01-10T18:57:00Z
2018-01-10T18:57:00Z
<p>I'm proud to say I am my kids' Mom. Unfortunately I must admit to spending some time in hiding over the past three years as my four precious sons navigate middle school. I have decided 7th grade boys are not completely human yet. My sons each have a rap sheet that when printed out, double spaced, takes up more than one sheet of paper. Crimes include taking a kite to school and flying it in the courtyard at break, writing on the bathroom tile with dry erase markers, taking their dog to first period, dropping their pants to tuck in their shirt, running to the billboard erected in front of the school and "faking" hitting their heads, falling to the ground and rolling in "pain", playing "ditch em" with the playground supervisor and bringing a water bottle to class (a gallon milk jug) . . . the list goes on and on.</p>
<p>The Vice-Principal knows my cell-phone number. She has called me laughing, crying and spitting angry. It seems my boys spend more time in detention than they do in class. Because I currently have three boys in middle school, I don't feel qualified to advise others. I've still got a year and a half to go.</p>
<p>In the meantime, my husband and I assign additional work assignments for discipline that may include washing windows, hoeing the garden, pulling weeds, moving rocks and spreading mulch. The boys are great workers, very physically fit from the additional work they do and our home and yard look great. If I had to give advice to others it would be . . . hang on tight and whatever you do, don't lose your sense of humor. I wouldn't trade anything for the blessing of being Mom to four boys. <br />I think my cell-phone is ringing! LOL</p>
<p>Christine</p>
Staff
2018-01-10T18:57:00Z
Admitting Reality
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Admitting-Reality/-166764173300635433.html
2018-01-09T18:58:00Z
2018-01-09T18:58:00Z
<p>Unfortunately, I have made several decisions I've regretted, but the biggest is not admitting to myself, let alone the world, that I was gay until I was 34. I kept up the denial hoping to one day marry a nice woman and have kids. It was after talking to you I realized I couldn't do that to a woman and I finally realized I had to admit reality. Now I have to find my way in life in a way I didn't plan for. I spent my entire adult life preparing for a family, but always put it off, I guess because I knew it was wrong. Facing reality and changing directions is very difficult, and I have a long way to go to figure out my place in my new world.</p>
<p>By the way, THANK YOU, Dr. Laura for the help you've given me. It may be difficult, but I'm much relieved to be able to be open and honest with myself and my family. You helped me remove that burden, and I'm very thankful.<br /><br />Ken</p>
Staff
2018-01-09T18:58:00Z
Fighting Addiction
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fighting-Addiction/785673800417911166.html
2018-01-09T18:57:00Z
2018-01-09T18:57:00Z
<p>My husband gave me permission to tell this story.</p>
<p>My husband served in the Army and while in Viet Nam he became addicted to heroin. He was a door-gunner on a helicopter. Anyway, the camp's drug dealer was my husband's bunk mate. (I'm sure that's not what you call his barrack - hooch maybe??) Anyway, every time a deal went down the dealer gave everyone in the room a sample. Let's just say my husband got lots of samples on a regular basis.</p>
<p>He was getting close to being discharged and sent back to the States. He happened to read a book called "Needle Park" (heard they made a movie from the book). What struck him was these addicts would do anything (slash their wrists and pour the powder into their veins if they hadn't been able to shoot up when the "needed" it) and they would give up everything (their families, wives, kids) to get high. He said he decided right there to stop. He'd been doing heroine for 8 months. He quit cold turkey. He got very sick for a week. And then it was over! That was the end of his heroine addiction. He's a very strong man - but I wouldn't recommend this method.</p>
<p>There is an interesting twist. As of a few months ago my husband became addicted to Morphine. He was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer which is wrapped around his spine and aorta (the tumor actually fractured his spine). Oddly, his oncologist believes its Agent Orange related. He was on about 300 mg of morphine a day and at the beginning of January decided he felt the chemo was working (after his 2nd chemo treatment) and wanted to drive again. So you guessed it, he quit cold turkey! Didn't go so well this time! He spent 4 days in the hospital. They had to actually inject him with morphine to stop the throwing up and stabilize him. He couldn't eat for a week either. Anyway, they gave him a formula to reduce his morphine (he's down to 60 from 300) but he now realizes he may need to wait until he finishes his chemo and deals with the fractured spine.</p>
<p>But I wanted to say.... I am really proud of him! I'm proud of his service to our country (he received several medals for flying into combat to rescue fellow soldiers). I'm proud he decided he didn't want to let a substance control him and quit. And proud he is the most positive chemo patient and is just going to do what it takes to get well. He often says, "Why should I feel sorry for myself? I am just one of thousands battling this disease!" And I am confident that after his chemo and fractured spine is resolved.... he'll be morphine free.</p>
<p>Beverly</p>
Staff
2018-01-09T18:57:00Z
Focusing on my Boy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Focusing-on-my-Boy/438761804590475968.html
2018-01-08T18:58:00Z
2018-01-08T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I remember having to do a report in school about what we wanted to be when we grew up. I always knew I wanted to be a wife and mom. But I never thought it was the ‘right’ answer. So I would make up something. I would say I wanted to be a lawyer or a librarian. I really just wanted to be a wife and mom. I wanted to cook and clean and do laundry. You helped me realize wanting to be a wife and mom was okay. In fact it was great.</p>
<p>Unfortunately I made some mistakes in life. I am a mom to a great 11 year old boy. But I have not been a wife. When my son was younger, about 3 years old, I was focused on dating and trying to meet a guy. I still wanted to be a wife, but I was forgetting I was a mom. You taught me to make my son my number one priority now. I stopped dating and started focusing on my son. We do homework together every night. We have dinner together every evening. We go to church together on Sundays. I go to every one of his baseball games and practices.</p>
<p>It has taken some time, but his father and I now get along great. I made a point to never speak badly about his father.</p>
<p>So many women tell me I need to take time for myself. I need to get a man. I need to go out on the weekends. I am so proud to tell them nothing makes me happier then when I am spending time with my son. And that is the truth!! I see these same women neglect their kids because they need ‘me time.’ They bring so many random men in and out of their children’s lives. I was on that same path at one point. But I thank God I started to listen to you. I am focused on my son and I know I am doing the right thing.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, for all you do for families.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>M.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2018-01-08T18:58:00Z
Quote for Your Refrigerator
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Quote-for-Your-Refrigerator/896281333141342236.html
2018-01-08T18:57:00Z
2018-01-08T18:57:00Z
<p>Thought you could use this quote as you see fit. It has helped me in the five years it has been tacked on my refrigerator - right at eye level!</p>
<p><em>"When you know something's wrong, it's always worth whatever it takes to say no."</em></p>
<p>I cut it out of a newspaper years ago, and I believe it was part of my horoscope.</p>
<p>Thank you, and keep it up - your everyday actions and words are changing lives.</p>
<p>Shelley <br />Stay-at-Home-Mom for 23 years.</p>
Staff
2018-01-08T18:57:00Z
What My Teddy Bear Meant to Me as a Kid
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-My-Teddy-Bear-Meant-to-Me-as-a-Kid/836623231042889897.html
2018-01-07T18:58:00Z
2018-01-07T18:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I was raised to believe a woman's value was based on her education, work achievements, and what she contributed to the world. While acting on these beliefs, I always felt like there was something more. That's when I found you! You rocked my world!</p>
<p>I didn't get it at first. Why wouldn't you live with someone before marriage? Aren't stay-at-home moms just lazy slobs who take advantage of their husbands? So many questions, but I kept listening and then finally it made sense. I am now the proud mama of a 4-month-old boy and I have no intention of going back to work. My husband is the most amazing man I've ever met for so many reasons, but a big one is how hard he works so I can be there for our family!</p>
<p>Dr. Laura, thank you!</p>
<p>I was watching my little one play with his lion and I started to think about the teddy bear I carried everywhere as a kid. I took it with me because my mom had given it to me and it reminded me of her when she wasn't there. My son will never feel the sadness and the longing I felt when I was at day care all those long hours. All I wanted was my mom. Babies need their mommies! They need to be held, loved, sang to, played with... And it needs to be with Mommy! I couldn't believe I remembered this! The women who feel guilty when they abandon their children at day care should! It's heartbreaking!</p>
<p>Thank you for saying what so many when need to hear! You are a breath of fresh air!</p>
<p>Have a wonderful day!</p>
<p>Nikki</p>
Staff
2018-01-07T18:58:00Z
Easy to Love Him
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Easy-to-Love-Him/882037623046531535.html
2018-01-05T18:58:00Z
2018-01-05T18:58:00Z
<p>When I first met my husband, I said to myself, “What a goof!” Silly me, I fell in love. Now I laugh every day.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for decades of wise counsel. Your radio show and books opened my eyes, ears, and heart. Over time I heeded to your marriage advice: choose wisely and treat kindly. When I married my husband, I married his family of 2 young adult children. When I said “I do,” I fully agreed to not having babies. I chose to invest in my husband, his son, and his daughter. I have had no regrets. Their love has blessed me. Of course, I took my time with my decision to marry and took pre-marital counseling with my husband. During this time I realized I didn't need to be married to be fulfilled. However, I chose to marry my best friend because I wanted to laugh, love, and grow with him. We just celebrated our eighth anniversary.</p>
<p>Our first three years were emotionally challenging. I cried a lot. It was during this time I read your book, “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.” Wow! It was amazing how quickly our lives moved in a positive motion once I changed my habits. You guided me to be quiet, listen well, and play more. I learned to hear how I was received no matter my intent. I silenced my fearful “what ifs." Then, I poured on the small showers of affection. My passion was food to my husband's being. Now, he eagerly moves mountains for me. Being married to my husband has made me a better person. I adore how easy it is to love him. Two years ago my husband's daughter and son said to me, “We like who our Dad is when he is with you.” My heart jumped for joy.</p>
<p>I am so grateful to be my husband's girlfriend. He is my Sunshine. He lights up my world and keeps me giggling.</p>
<p>M.</p>
Staff
2018-01-05T18:58:00Z
I So Admire My Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-So-Admire-My-Husband/53645695804036343.html
2018-01-05T18:57:00Z
2018-01-05T18:57:00Z
<p>Do I have a MAN for a Husband? Yes I do. We'll be married 31 years in February.<br /><br />His father and maternal grandmother did not approve of me as a prospective wife and did everything in their power to discredit and humiliate me. All because I had been previously married, had a daughter and was not an 18 year old Catholic virgin. His mother, on the other hand, was one of the sweetest most loving people I have ever met in my life which is where my husband got his character. He disowned his father, who was truly evil, and his grandmother and has devoted his life to making me happy. As a result I cannot do enough for him including reading The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands when he was about to retire. That book has helped me keep focused on the important stuff and ignore the petty. I also have to tell you my husband has brought me down from my high horse on numerous occasions by saying "Now, now would Dr. Laura approve?" That makes me laugh every time.</p>
<p>Thank you!</p>
<p>Sally</p>
Staff
2018-01-05T18:57:00Z
I'm One of the 20%
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-One-of-the-20/709805844225079969.html
2018-01-04T18:58:00Z
2018-01-04T18:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I'm proud to say that I am in the 20% of people who do NOT stand by. I have had 2 opportunities to intervene when I saw children being physically abused. One was a mother beating her 6 year old child for picking up a ball...he wasn't throwing it, kicking it, knocking stuff off the shelves (I work retail). I could hear her from the back of the store and went to her and told her not to strike that child again or I would call the police. She started to argue with me. I said "He's just a little boy". She called my corporate office and my boss came in to reprimand me. I told my boss if she expected me to sit back and just watch that, she may as well go ahead and fire me, because I would always step in to protect a child.</p>
<p>The 2nd time I came upon a mother beating her 9 year old boy with a stick. It was the most sickening noise, because I heard them before I saw them. I told her to stop it, and called 911 on my cell phone. She actually told me "He came out of my body, and I can do anything I want with him." I told her "Shame on you. God gave this child to you". She ended up being arrested and I had to go to court to testify against her. Part of her defense was "who was I to be sticking my nose in her business." I am a mandated reporter (as is Joe Paterno) and I told her I would never stand by. The judge thanked me and said that he wished more people would step in to help a child in distress.</p>
<p>Where do I get my nerve to do this you might ask? I'm not very big, or very young, or very strong. But I was a child who was beaten. I always prayed someone would rescue me. Now I am the rescuer.</p>
<p>J.</p>
Staff
2018-01-04T18:58:00Z
Helping My Messy Kid
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Helping-My-Messy-Kid/-724785392100794809.html
2018-01-04T18:57:00Z
2018-01-04T18:57:00Z
<p>I discovered a neat trick to help my 13 year old boy pick up after himself. He's my youngest and I've always just picked up after him because it's been "easier". He would leave his trash, dirty dishes, clothes etc. right where he was, and when I would call him to clean up, it was like he honestly couldn't see the problem.</p>
<p>I finally realized I was not doing him any favors and when I started expecting him to clean up after himself I was met with "resistance" to say the least. My solution, I made it like an Easter Egg Hunt, "Fix the problems in the room...there are 5." I combine this with hotter/colder hints. I count as he fixes them and he's almost eager to "play". Also, I've even noticed he has started picking up after himself a bit better as time goes on, it's like he actually has started thinking and seeing things he was truly blind to in the past.</p>
<p>Tamara</p>
Staff
2018-01-04T18:57:00Z
Mom Just as Guilty as Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mom-Just-as-Guilty-as-Dad/623420772158633360.html
2018-01-03T18:58:00Z
2018-01-03T18:58:00Z
<p>I grew up in a house where my father verbally, emotionally, and physically abused me and my two sisters (I thank God there was no sexual abuse to any of us). His mood swings were sporadic and we were always walking on eggshells.</p>
<p>As a child I had always thought of my Mom as an innocent victim, but after a comment from my sister and listening to you over the years, I came to realize my Mom is just as damaged as he is and she is just as guilty for the abuse because she CHOSE to stand by and do nothing (they've been married 45yrs now). Like you've said on your show, "water seeks its own level." So now I have a whole new perspective. I don't feel sorry for her and how he treats her and when she complains about him and his usual antics, I just look at her and smile and say, "You chose him, Mom" and then either change the subject or walk out of the room.</p>
<p>To all the young adults out there: Please choose wisely! Your future children are depending on you.</p>
<p>C</p>
Staff
2018-01-03T18:58:00Z
It Took A While to Sink In
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Took-A-While-to-Sink-In/910279218687062366.html
2018-01-03T18:57:00Z
2018-01-03T18:57:00Z
<p>My life completely changed 8 years ago. I was married, had 2 children, a career that kept me in the office 9 hours a day, 5 days a week. While I was in my office I always listened to you. I had a wonderful Nanny raising my children, but when I would talk to my husband about staying at home with my kids, he would just laugh. I obviously was not going about this the correct way.</p>
<p>Then, one day I got a slap on the face. I found out my husband was having an affair with a married mother of 2 from my kids' elementary school. I was devastated. I wanted to work this out, he was my husband and the father of my children. One week later, I was laid off of my job of 12 years. One week after that I turned 40 (I thought that was going to be my highlight of the year). As it turned out, my husband wanted out. My kids were only 8 & 5.</p>
<p>We get along great now, he is on his 2nd divorce to yet another woman. I did not have the energy to put on a suit and a happy face to look for a job. Soooo, I started my own business from home! I have been able to work out of my house and be with my children. I feel God had a hand in this, knowing my kids would be better off having me home while their dad was gone. My oldest is going off to college next year and both are doing exceptional at school (an all girls' high school).</p>
<p>I have learned from you and my own experience, one may be able to do it all, career, marriage, mother, but one cannot do them all well. My marriage fell apart. 8 years ago, I would cry and ask God to end my life. I now say he did end the life I had and gave me a better one. I have been able to be my own boss and be there for my daughters. I have not dated - I don't believe that is being a good role model, especially when raising girls.</p>
<p>I was proud of my college bound daughter when I overheard her conversation about careers with her sister. My 14 year old was saying she does not want to be dependent on a man - but my 18 year old replied, "I'm ok with having a husband who can support me while I raise our children." Though I listened to you for years, I was not functioning as I should have. But now I am! Maybe after all those years it finally sunk in.</p>
<p>A.</p>
Staff
2018-01-03T18:57:00Z
Focusing on my Boy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Focusing-on-my-Boy/502821464724964496.html
2018-01-02T18:58:00Z
2018-01-02T18:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I remember having to do a report in school about what we wanted to be when we grew up. I always knew I wanted to be a wife and mom. But I never thought it was the ‘right’ answer. So I would make up something. I would say I wanted to be a lawyer or a librarian. I really just wanted to be a wife and mom. I wanted to cook and clean and do laundry. You helped me realize wanting to be a wife and mom was okay. In fact it was great.</p>
<p>Unfortunately I made some mistakes in life. I am a mom to a great 11 year old boy. But I have not been a wife. When my son was younger, about 3 years old, I was focused on dating and trying to meet a guy. I still wanted to be a wife, but I was forgetting I was a mom. You taught me to make my son my number one priority now. I stopped dating and started focusing on my son. We do homework together every night. We have dinner together every evening. We go to church together on Sundays. I go to every one of his baseball games and practices.</p>
<p>It has taken some time, but his father and I now get along great. I made a point to never speak badly about his father.</p>
<p>So many women tell me I need to take time for myself. I need to get a man. I need to go out on the weekends. I am so proud to tell them nothing makes me happier then when I am spending time with my son. And that is the truth!! I see these same women neglect their kids because they need ‘me time.’ They bring so many random men in and out of their children’s lives. I was on that same path at one point. But I thank God I started to listen to you. I am focused on my son and I know I am doing the right thing.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, for all you do for families.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>M.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2018-01-02T18:58:00Z
Raising the Right Kind of Boys
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-the-Right-Kind-of-Boys/474858984665630180.html
2018-01-02T18:57:00Z
2018-01-02T18:57:00Z
<p>"We need to teach our daughters to distinguish between a man who flatters her - and a man who compliments her.</p>
<p>A man who spends money on her - and a man who invests in her.</p>
<p>A man who views her as property - and a man who views her properly.</p>
<p>A man who lusts after her - and a man who loves her.</p>
<p>A man who believes he is God's gift to women - and a man who remembers a woman was God's gift to man...</p>
<p>And then teach our boys to be that kind of a man." - author unknown</p>
<p>Dennis</p>
Staff
2018-01-02T18:57:00Z
11 Years Later
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/11-Years-Later/407230862599966408.html
2017-12-15T18:58:00Z
2017-12-15T18:58:00Z
<p>I was 23 and stupid but smart enough to know I had to find a job to make some money before I stared graduate school. At that job, the radio was set to your show. Thank God for that. I heard you say "you have to kiss a lot of toads before you find your prince". The quote is still in my bible today, 11 years later.</p>
<p>I left that needy girl behind along with a bad relationship and a toxic guy. I found myself and because of that, found my prince. I completed Graduate school, got an excellent job in healthcare serving our nation's veterans and wounded warriors.</p>
<p>I have listened to you every day after work to keep my "girlfriend" skills fine tuned. My husband and I have a beautiful baby girl and as I type this, I have just emailed my letter of resignation to a top notch boss so I can now become My Kid's Mom - full time. Thank you Dr. Laura. Without your advice, I know I would not have been shaped into the wise woman, wife, and mother I have come to be. Of all life's decisions I have made, the most difficult has been to put my career on the back burner. I work every day to improve the quality of life for our veterans of war and while this is of great need, ultimately, my daughter needs me more. I am certain without your mission, I would not have hit send on that email today.</p>
<p>From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I'll keep you posted on life as My Kid's Mom and My Husband's Girlfriend.</p>
<p>C.</p>
Staff
2017-12-15T18:58:00Z
Sibling Rivalry Continues Through the Years
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sibling-Rivalry-Continues-Through-the-Years/-529042763704744696.html
2017-12-15T18:57:00Z
2017-12-15T18:57:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am the middle (girl) of 5 siblings: 2 boys, 2 girls, 1 boy born 8 years after the stair-step of the 50's. Our parents were great, and Dad was the disciplinarian. Mom hated conflict and always refused to deal with it. The biggest problem was the oldest being a bully (grew out of it) and the youngest girl being a brat (loved to stir up problems, tattle, etc. and grew up to be the only divorced sibling who changed jobs frequently due to conflicts in the office).</p>
<p>Fast forward. Dad died many years ago. Mom never reined in the family pain in the ass. The baby of the family devoted himself to taking care of Mom, I was the dependable one with the medical power of attorney and caregiver throughout years of medical problems, and the two other brothers helped with financial and house issues. Mom did have finances in order, a will and a trust, and thought she had prepared, but refused to deal with "stuff". She attached post-its and notes to her will and papers. $10,000 attorney's fees later, the 4 of us have long since vowed we don't have a sister. She came in at 2-3 a.m. the night of mom's Celebration of Life when everyone was asleep at their hotels and loaded a truck with stuff. She claimed 50% of the jewelry, and took first pick (the rest was divided among the 4 of us). She had already taken many, many things over the years and threatened to sue us all (yes, she's a corporate shark).</p>
<p>Bottom line to all parents: grow a spine and take care of grasping, self-centered behavior early and make a plan to continue beyond the grave when you know there's an issue.</p>
<p>K.</p>
Staff
2017-12-15T18:57:00Z
Nature vs. Nurture
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Nature-vs.-Nurture/993607193432296847.html
2017-12-14T18:58:00Z
2017-12-14T18:58:00Z
<p>I am a 25 year old newly married 5th grade teacher. I listen to your show at lunchtime while I grade papers. My husband and I, partly because of you, have already made plans for me to sub part-time once we have our kids next year so that way one of us is always home with the kidlets (He is a fireman so he can take care of them on his days off).</p>
<p>I have two stories to share. The first is touching, the second is telling.</p>
<p>Our class was discussing the meaning of the word hereditary because it was in the story we were reading. The students were coming up with examples of things they inherit from their parents like their eyes, hair color, height, etc. I also explained to them negative things can be passed down through heredity such as risks for cancer, etc. Then one of my male students added to our discussion "Oh, you mean like being an alcoholic." (How heartbreaking!!) I responded saying the comment was incorrect because alcoholism is a choice. Then I looked directly at him, touched him on the shoulder and again said "Do you understand, that is a choice people make." And to think parents don't believe what they do at home affects their children.</p>
<p>The second story is telling for those folks who don't think there are any differences between girls and boys.</p>
<p>We were learning about the pioneers and were reading a story where a family of pioneer children were left alone while their father traveled ahead to find a place to settle. I let them choose groups (which ended up being groups of boys and girls) to discuss and write about how they would feel and what they would do if they were left alone in the wilderness. The girls groups said they would feel scared and would want their brothers to protect them! The boys groups said they would feel brave, would protect their families, and would go hunt for food! How is that for different instincts!</p>
<p>Thank you for all you do to advance to esteem and value of stay-at-home moms which I hope to be very soon!</p>
<p>K. <br />My husband's girlfriend, new wife, and 5th grade teacher</p>
Staff
2017-12-14T18:58:00Z
Benefits of Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Benefits-of-Marriage/-847392277742694766.html
2017-12-14T18:57:00Z
2017-12-14T18:57:00Z
<p>I am 27 and live in Los Angeles. Many of the people who I encounter that are my age say they don't believe in marriage, or they are indifferent about marriage. My husband's friends from college are all in their 30s and shacking up, some for 7+ years.</p>
<p>Upon getting married we immediately got backlash from some of those feminestas acquaintances with lines such as "I would NEVER share a bank account with a MAN" or "In my opinion you guys moved way too fast" (we dated for 1.5 years) or "I don't see the difference between what you have and what I and my boyfriend (ahem shack-up honey) have."</p>
<p>I can tell by their defensiveness and hostility that of course they see the difference. My husband adores me. He gave me a diamond ring, and promised to take care of me forever before he knew if I was good in bed. We said "I do," and then had sex. (What a concept, right?) He put me through graduate school and supported me 100%, even knowing when we have children, I will stay home and raise our kids.</p>
<p>Unlike these shack-ups, if anything were to happen to my boyfriend/husband, I am protected by having the legal status as his wife. There is no stability in shack-up situations, no rules and women are treated with a complete lack of respect (though I can't really blame the men since the women aren't demanding respect).</p>
<p>Marriage has changed my life for the better because I married a REAL MAN who tells me daily, "I will do anything to make you happy." I live my life striving to do the same for him.</p>
<p>I truly pity the people my age who see no value in this. Deep down I think they know what they're missing, but by admitting it, they would have to reject everything they've ever learned from public school, their parents, TV shows, and society today. I hope they'll wake up soon and start rejecting society's warped view of marriage, lest I fear my generation's future.</p>
<p>Natalie</p>
Staff
2017-12-14T18:57:00Z
Do the Right Thing Anyway
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Do-the-Right-Thing-Anyway/-964520724388967025.html
2017-12-13T18:58:00Z
2017-12-13T18:58:00Z
<p>I was reminded of this quote by Mother Teresa when you were talking to the mom who was upset because her stepdaughter was graduating and the maternal grandma chose to go to a wedding instead. God Bless that mom for holding all 4 of her daughters equally in her heart. I had a sweet step dad who was Victorian and not very demonstrative, but I felt he loved me and my life would have been so awful without him. He gave up a lot to take care of us and I will always be grateful for it. I have been a teacher and child advocate most of my adult life because I needed a champion as a child and he stepped up. - Penny</p>
<p>Here is the quote:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>"People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered: Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives: Be kind anyway. What you spend years creating others could destroy overnight: Create anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous: Be happy anyway. The good you do today, will often be forgotten: Do good anyway. Give the best you have, and it may never be enough: Give your best anyway. In the final analysis, it is between you and God: It was never between you and them anyway."</p>
<p>- Mother Teresa</p>
</blockquote>
Staff
2017-12-13T18:58:00Z
Parents Take Charge!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parents-Take-Charge!/-722209213095962179.html
2017-12-13T18:57:00Z
2017-12-13T18:57:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I would like to share a suggestion to the Father with concerns about over-correcting by taking away computer time. My four kids (13y-g, 10y-b, 8y-b, 6y-b) and I are attending therapy. Of all horrible things in the world, their biggest complaint about MOM was I take them out to do FUN STUFF instead of allowing them unlimited Playstation time. My 8yr old even shed some tears. At the moment I felt CRUSHED to hear all these complaints of what a horrible mommy I was. So, my mommy wheels are always turning... I MADE A NEGATIVE INTO A POSITIVE. I said, Ok I hear you, and your frustrations about THE LACK OF TIME on the Playstation, so from now on, you will earn your Playstation time. There is a posted list in the living room, of daily kiddie chores (like you suggested for the caller) that need to be done. Before bed, if all chores are done they will be compensated w/a 30 min voucher. Any additional chores done without me asking may earn each child, 10-15 min vouchers. I printed check-like looking slips of paper, and so I get my "checkbook" out and they get compensated with WEEKEND VOUCHERS for Playstation time.</p>
<p>EVERYONE complains about kids feeling they are owed material stuff, or being ungrateful, well... Mommies stop your whining, tighten up your mommy apron, and take charge! Seems like parents now days are afraid to hurt their kids' feelings, but they forget kids need to learn lessons at their young age.</p>
<p>Thank you for your show, I am THE MEAN MOMMY to my four kids, in Northern Santa Barbara County!!!</p>
<p>Z.</p>
Staff
2017-12-13T18:57:00Z
Dangerous and Deadly Bullying
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dangerous-and-Deadly-Bullying/-620240507170864310.html
2017-12-12T18:58:00Z
2017-12-12T18:58:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>As a mother of two young sons, I am alarmed by the different kinds of bullying methods that are used today and some of these methods, as we know, are potentially deadly.</p>
<p>I wanted to make you aware of a website I found which has the potential of destroying many people's lives and reputations. When I was searching for something else, I happened to come across a website and when I clicked into it, I noticed it was a forum for people to post pictures and comments about people they hate. Then other users can vote if that person is a "jerk" or not and post additional damaging comments. They post the victim's name and photo and after that, it's a free-for-all libelous forum. What was VERY alarming was many of the names and pictures I saw posted were of middle-school aged children. There was one particular posting about a red-headed boy who didn't even look like he was out of middle school. Someone had posted his picture, his full name, and then posted they thought he was a loser and a "f-g". Another person said he won't go to heaven. Then many others posted negative comments about this poor child just based on his appearance. As a mother, I am horrified.</p>
<p>By the way, I am currently pursuing a Doctor of Psychology while I stay at home. (I am one of those women who left a high-powered career to stay at home). Anyhow, one of the things that concerns me as a parent and as a future psychologist is this phenomenon of online bullying. I see it has been responsible for deaths already, but when I see sites like this, I see it is going to be getting a whole lot worse. How do we, as parents, stop the tide and protect our own children?</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, I love your show and you are the absolute role model for all women! You go, girl!!</p>
<p>Sarah</p>
Staff
2017-12-12T18:58:00Z
Bad Mom, Good Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bad-Mom,-Good-Mom/21602113790173701.html
2017-12-12T18:57:00Z
2017-12-12T18:57:00Z
<p>I love the advice you give women with bad moms.</p>
<p>I had a bad mom, the kind who would scream, call me stupid, hit and grab me by the ear and drag me on the floor. Every time I go back to my home state, I am torn wanting to have that mother/daughter relationship I never had. I just think I must not be a good daughter because I am conflicted between having a relationship with her and staying as far away as I can. Every time I start feeling sad about the relationship and love I never got from her, I start thinking about something you said.</p>
<p>I got a second chance to have that mother/daughter relationship I never had with my mom. Every day I tell my daughter, "I am so happy you are my daughter." She surprises me every time when she says, "I am so glad you are my mom." So, I chose not to be like my mom and I do have a wonderful, self confident, intelligent daughter who makes me laugh and likes to do things with me.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for repeating the message that we get a second chance in life with our daughters to have a mother/daughter relationship.</p>
<p>Jeanette</p>
Staff
2017-12-12T18:57:00Z
The Most Important Decision I Made
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Most-Important-Decision-I-Made/-176841814347722862.html
2017-12-11T18:58:00Z
2017-12-11T18:58:00Z
<p>I have been a stay-at-home mom for the last 11 years. I had a good prestigious job at a prestigious institution. My husband and I had decided when the baby arrived I would quit my job. That is exactly what I did. This was the most important decision I made and I don't have an ounce of regret. My husband and I both agreed no day care provider would be able to provide the love and care I could give to our daughter.</p>
<p>My daughter is in middle school now but everyone sees the difference it has made in her personality and her level of self confidence. She is the best student in her class and is liked by her teachers. I have given her all the attention I could and tried to raise her with the best religious and moral values. Yes, we have less money to spend but neither my husband nor I are materialistic. We are teaching our daughter to also be less materialistic and more spiritual.</p>
<p>I know sometimes necessity drives women to leave their children in day care, but it really boggles my mind when women go to work and leave their children in the care of others because they want to fulfill their own desires. I was taken by surprise and sadness when I heard the story of one of my friends' sister-in-law who has two nannies to take care of her twins - one during the day when she is at work and one for the night when she needs her sleep. So why did she have these children?</p>
<p>I am very glad God has provided me the opportunity to be with my daughter and see her grow into a beautiful, confident, God-fearing young lady. No amount of money in the world can substitute for the treasure I have.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, for always standing for the right thing.</p>
<p>S.</p>
Staff
2017-12-11T18:58:00Z
Planting Seeds
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Planting-Seeds/-324555879417106664.html
2017-12-11T18:57:00Z
2017-12-11T18:57:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />While listening, I noticed that the other day, you sounded discouraged when a shack-up honey chastised you about "judging" her. Dr. Laura, the world NEEDS your brand in-your-face judgement. I am a public school teacher and after years of listening to you, I have become more outspoken on matters of morality. <br /><br />When several of my female students were excitedly talking about writing to guys in prison, I proclaimed, "Don't do it. People in prison are scum. Stay away from them." One girl retorted, "My Daddy's in prison." There was a long awkward pause in which I contemplated getting reprimanded by my liberal administration for "insensitivity", or "micro aggression", or some other such PC nonsense. Then the girl spoke again, "You are right. He IS scum." <br /><br />My point is that we all need to risk offending people to do the right thing and get them on the right track; or at least put forth all the effort we can to do so. <br /><br /><strong>Who knows what seeds we are sowing in young, or not so young minds?</strong><br /><br />
Staff
2017-12-11T18:57:00Z
My Son's Character
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Sons-Character/-631619010975154137.html
2017-12-08T18:58:00Z
2017-12-08T18:58:00Z
<p>I, too, do not use the word "<a href="/b/What-Makes-Someone-a-Hero/956943440583420264.html" target="_self">Hero</a>" loosely! A year ago, when my son was only 10 years old, he put his life, knowingly, at risk to save the life of another. Unfortunately, I was not there. At a swim/video game party, my son jumped to the aid of his friend who was literally drowning. In his attempts to save his buddy, he was being drowned himself. He managed to swim away long enough to get air and then proceeded to go back and try again.</p>
<p>This time, he swam back over to his flailing distraught friend and shoved him with all his might into the shallow end of the pool. They were both coughing and crying at the edge of the pool, but thankfully, they were both ok. It was at that point when an adult realized something was wrong and came over to see what was the matter. Apparently all the adults were "involved" elsewhere and were not paying attention to the kids in the pool (that is another story in itself).</p>
<p>When I picked up my son from the party, he was quiet and looked frightened, but wouldn't tell me anything with all his buddies around. I knew something really bad happened when, as we were walking out, the boy who almost drowned said, "Thanks Dude." And then my son said, "Yeah, you really need to take swim lessons, ok?" Ten year old boys are so practical!!</p>
<p>On our ride home, I learned all the details and with tears in his eyes, he told me, "Mom, I had to get away from him to catch my breath, but I was only gone for like 3 seconds" [with guilt in his voice]. I, too, was in tears with fear and anger, but mostly with PRIDE. My son is truly a hero! He knew what could have happened and despite this very real fear for him, he couldn't not help his friend. Upon further questioning of the situation, I asked him why he swam back to his friend when he was almost drowned himself and this is what he told me, "I would give my life in order to save his." It was said without any thought or pause! This is MY son's character!!! I am without the proper words, even now, to express how proud I am of him. He is a true HERO!</p>
<p>(For the record, many more things were dealt with in regards to the complete negligence and lack of supervision at this kids' party, but my bottom-line is that I will never again assume proper supervision is at a swim party and make sure I'm there myself).</p>
<p>Shelly</p>
Staff
2017-12-08T18:58:00Z
Stirring Up Controversy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stirring-Up-Controversy/-87649172058581244.html
2017-12-08T18:57:00Z
2017-12-08T18:57:00Z
<p>Recently I threw a bridal shower for my husband's sister. It was just family and a few close friends of hers. I brought along my usual gift of "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". Well, little did I realize the controversy it would raise with this group. There are quite a few feminists among my husband's family and among his sister's friends. Grandma was calling me all sorts of names, the bride's friend was calling you all sorts of names, and my other sister-in-law was expressing that we cannot "cater" to a man. After a few minutes of trying to defend my views and your name, I politely changed the subject.</p>
<p>While replaying the scene for my husband later that evening, he said, "Well, it doesn't really matter what those people think, because Dr. Laura is always right, and if those women listened to half of what she said their husbands would be as happy as I am." As I looked into his eyes, I knew he wasn't just saying this...he meant it! I am so grateful that my man is happy! We have a wonderful marriage and two sweet children. While some of the feminist women I mentioned have failed marriages and visibly unhappy husbands, mine hurries home after work every day and gives me a big, sexy movie kiss and I know he's happy to be home!</p>
<p>Well, my husband's sister has agreed to read the book with an open mind and I hope it helps in her marriage as much as it has helped in mine. Thank you for fulfilling your calling on this Earth of helping direct people to choose the better way. I am forever grateful to you!</p>
<p>Melissa</p>
Staff
2017-12-08T18:57:00Z
Maintenance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Maintenance/-729035885033346533.html
2017-12-07T18:58:00Z
2017-12-07T18:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am where I am now because of you and a dear friend along the way of 11 years. I found myself slipping lately due to the economy and my career. So, I thrust my head into my books hunting for <em>Bad Childhood - Good Life</em>. My thirst to find it was almost comical. With an enormous deep sigh, I sank into my comfort chair and reread this book. I felt the strength wrap me in glory again. When I reread the book, it was so comforting to see the growth and the pride I have in my wonderful quality of life. Demons do tread and they don't tread lightly.</p>
<p>Why did I find myself hunting for strength? I was finding myself short in answers, impatient and flustered. My son said, "Mom, did you take your Thyroid pill today?" I just needed to get my power back.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>P.</p>
Staff
2017-12-07T18:58:00Z
Seeing Clearly...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Seeing-Clearly.../-631478853536607590.html
2017-12-07T18:58:00Z
2017-12-07T18:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I love your message in your last video: Defending Against a Bully.</p>
<p>As I teach my 10 year old daughter (who is now a purple belt in Tae Kwon Do and she struggles with her hatred of injustice and indecency she sees schools expect kids to stomach) <em>"you have two sets of separate rules to follow: rules of your home and rules of the school. Generally, both are very much in agreement, but not everything - particularly how to handle a bully. When the rules of your home and the rules of the school collide, rules of the home prevail, and I'll deal with those consequences. You may even experience an event where the school calls what you did wrong and but at home you're rewarded. It is only confusing to you now because you're a child, but as you grow up, you'll see more clearly."</em></p>
<p>Well, she actually sees clearly already.</p>
<p>Thanks for doing what you do!</p>
<p>Jeff</p>
Staff
2017-12-07T18:58:00Z
I Am The One My Son Leans On
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Am-The-One-My-Son-Leans-On/-554482527719802792.html
2017-12-06T18:58:00Z
2017-12-06T18:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Today I met my son at the bus stop like I always do, and walked home with him. We chatted a bit about his day, but when we walked in the house he ran off to fly his remote control helicopter. I played with my daughter in the living room for about an hour before I started dinner.</p>
<p>Then my son came in and asked for a snack. I offered him a cutie and a few leftover slices of homemade French toast sticks and told him that's all he could have since dinner would be ready in 30 minutes. Hearing this sent him into an utter melt-down. My six year old, who is generally well-behaved, had completely quit the earth. I had to drag him to his room and told him he could come out when he stopped crying. I got some water boiling then I peeled him another cutie and went into his room. I handed him his snack and asked him if his day had been rough. He stopped his tantrum and with tears of sadness in his eyes he told me it had been a bad day, no one had played with him at recess and his best friend just wanted to play with some girl. My heart broke for him. His melt down wasn't about a snack, it was the avenue for the bottled up hurt he felt over being shunned by his classmates that day. I hugged him and cried with him and then we talked about what he could do the next day to get some of his buddies to play with him. I also told him I would eat lunch with him at the school the next day. (In my day that would've been social suicide but at his school it's very cool because they get to eat at a special table with their mom and invite 2 friends to come with them.) After that I called three of the boys in his class (I know all the good ones to call because I volunteer in his classroom), and invited them over for a homemade pizza party the following night.</p>
<p>I kept thinking of my friends with "nannies". I wondered if those nannies would've been intuitive enough to understand there was more going on in the life of that special 6 year old than just disappointment over the size of his snack. My answer was no. I wondered if they would sit with him, hold him, cry with him and tell him they understood. My answer was no. I wondered if they would have immediately made plans the next day to have some buddies over for a pizza party. My answer was no. I wondered if they would go eat lunch at the school with him. My answer was no.</p>
<p>I am SO GRATEFUL to be my kids' mom. I am grateful to be the one to dry their tears. As sick as it sometimes makes me to see them hurt, I am glad I get to see it, support them through it and fix it any way I can. I'm so lucky. I wouldn't let anyone else near my job. EVER. No one can do it better than me and nobody cares more than I do. What a great feeling it is to be so satisfied with my job and so fulfilled at the end of the day. Wow, I am truly blessed.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Emily</p>
Staff
2017-12-06T18:58:00Z
Parents Take Charge!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parents-Take-Charge!/432030282518863414.html
2017-12-06T18:57:00Z
2017-12-06T18:57:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I would like to share a suggestion to the Father with concerns about over-correcting by taking away computer time. My four kids (13y-g, 10y-b, 8y-b, 6y-b) and I are attending therapy. Of all horrible things in the world, their biggest complaint about MOM was I take them out to do FUN STUFF instead of allowing them unlimited Playstation time. My 8yr old even shed some tears. At the moment I felt CRUSHED to hear all these complaints of what a horrible mommy I was. So, my mommy wheels are always turning... I MADE A NEGATIVE INTO A POSITIVE. I said, Ok I hear you, and your frustrations about THE LACK OF TIME on the Playstation, so from now on, you will earn your Playstation time. There is a posted list in the living room, of daily kiddie chores (like you suggested for the caller) that need to be done. Before bed, if all chores are done they will be compensated w/a 30 min voucher. Any additional chores done without me asking may earn each child, 10-15 min vouchers. I printed check-like looking slips of paper, and so I get my "checkbook" out and they get compensated with WEEKEND VOUCHERS for Playstation time.</p>
<p>EVERYONE complains about kids feeling they are owed material stuff, or being ungrateful, well... Mommies stop your whining, tighten up your mommy apron, and take charge! Seems like parents now days are afraid to hurt their kids' feelings, but they forget kids need to learn lessons at their young age.</p>
<p>Thank you for your show, I am THE MEAN MOMMY to my four kids, in Northern Santa Barbara County!!!</p>
<p>Z.</p>
Staff
2017-12-06T18:57:00Z
Fun Times with My Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fun-Times-with-My-Mother/621450822672121380.html
2017-12-05T18:58:00Z
2017-12-05T18:58:00Z
<p>We as a family had a very stressful life when I was growing up. We were poor to the point of going long stints without electricity and water in our house. This financial stress made my dad mean and distant. My mother did everything she could to shield us from the reality of being poor. She made everything an adventure. We camped in the house or in tents when we couldn't afford a house.</p>
<p>My mother always had time for each of us to talk and to vent and to just be with her one on one. Our times together were always the same ritual and my favorite memories of my childhood. We would walk to the drugstore about 15 minutes away and get a small ice cream cup (the kind that came with the mini wooden spoon) and share it on the walk back. We talked about everything a girl needed to talk to her mom about and we laughed and joked. It wasn't expensive or time consuming, but it was so special to us both.</p>
<p>She had something like that she did with each of my brothers as well. It was those simple moments with Mom that made our childhood so special and really cemented our bonds with her. Young mothers today could really take a lesson from my mom's playbook. It's not how much money or time is spent, it is the quality of time with a woman who worked 3 jobs to keep us fed and still had time to be involved in our lives and make us each feel special.</p>
<p>Angela</p>
Staff
2017-12-05T18:58:00Z
She Didn't Always Listen to Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/She-Didnt-Always-Listen-to-Me/467250058523578271.html
2017-12-05T18:57:00Z
2017-12-05T18:57:00Z
<p>Whether you realize it or not, you have helped me raise my daughter. She is 23 and over the years we have listened to hours of your shows together. As a mother, I know there is only so much she will hear from me so it helped to know she was listening to good, solid advice from you. There were times she didn't always make the best choices and I remember thinking, "I realize you can ignore me, but Dr. Laura???"</p>
<p>I am happy to say she recently married a wonderful young man who just graduated from the air force academy and will be starting flight training soon in Texas. I received an email from her I thought you might enjoy. She starts it by referring to a recent source of contention about phone calls.</p>
<p>She writes: <em>Since our last call things have continued to go pretty smoothly. I've had to put my pride away a few times already (surprising?) and realize choose to be a wife over being right about some stupid little thing that I won't remember in 20 minutes. In those moments I thought of both you and Dr. Laura cheering me on for making the right choice. While, I haven't gotten to writing her about it, I did want to shoot you a little thank you for being the kind of wife to Dad who didn't hand down a zillion excuses for me to not date my husband. Instead, you handed down a zillion reminders that it is best to put my entitled feelings aside and thank my husband for being the kind of man who deserves a loving wife. Love you!</em></p>
<p><br />You must hear from a lot of people how much you have impacted their lives for the better but I wanted you to know I will always appreciate all that you have done for so many but especially my girl.</p>
<p>God bless,</p>
<p>Cindi</p>
Staff
2017-12-05T18:57:00Z
How Weight Affected My Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Weight-Affected-My-Marriage/-959526579366119040.html
2017-12-04T18:58:00Z
2017-12-04T18:58:00Z
<p>My husband and I both gained weight after we were married because we LOVE good food, cooking together, and hosting. I gained much more weight than he did with bearing children, emotional eating, and a few other factors.</p>
<p>My weight did affect our marriage, though not in the way you would think. My husband never once told me I was unattractive or let my weight turn him off. He loved me as a spouse should with all my flaws. How it affected our relationship is I didn't love me. I was insecure about my choices, my body, and my excess baggage. I became much more needy, defensive, and unhappy. He felt helpless.</p>
<p>Fortunately, we've come a long way since first being married and will celebrate our 10th anniversary this August. Over the last few years I've pursued a much healthier lifestyle in every regard including how much I exercise, how I navigate adversity, how I solve problems, how I behave in relationships, how I get what I want, and how I manage my family's healthier diet. I've still got a way to go, but I'm stronger, more fit, more confident, and more satisfied with myself, and our marriage has also enjoyed the benefits.</p>
<p>Thanks for all you do!</p>
<p>Angela</p>
Staff
2017-12-04T18:58:00Z
How 'Real Men' are Treated in the World
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Real-Men-are-Treated-in-the-World/710506409505029785.html
2017-12-04T18:57:00Z
2017-12-04T18:57:00Z
<p>When I married my husband, he was in University getting his 5 year teaching degree (here in Canada) and was constantly told how the teaching profession was in dire need of males and what an asset he would be in any workplace. He had dreamed of being a teacher since he was a child, and was gifted in the profession.</p>
<p>But when he got there, he was in for quite a surprise. Often he was one of maybe two-three males on the entire staff, and as the gym teacher, it was soon clear most of the other staff considered gym a waste of time. Three positions in four years proved this seemed to be a pattern. In his last position he was the only male on staff and was frequently called in to deal with difficult boys in everyone else's classes, due to his success rate, and then was soundly criticized by the female teachers for his tactics. But OH his success rate was amazing! He gathered the worst of the worst around him and taught them wonderful lessons, much to the chagrin of the principal, who was merely looking to expel them. He organized a basketball team, and in two years, these boys who had never played, came in first in their League (one is now attending college on a basketball scholarship). But every day my husband would throw up before work because he knew of the barrage of criticism he was facing for championing these boys.<br /> <br />Finally, came the day when he pulled aside two popular, well-off bullies and told them despite their "A" in the class, next year the curriculum would focus on character, and if they didn't radically change their behavior, they would fail - and to take that into account when doing their course selection. Well, they got into an uproar! One boy's parents came in. My husband was ready with journalled instances of their bullying. My husband read the list calmly until the father stood up and kicked my husband in the groin. My husband left the room… The principal told him they would of course press charges, and for him to head home while she took care of everything. Later that week, the school's lawyer called saying that instead of going after the dad, they had a generous severance package for us. We took it, and now my husband sells cars for a living. My husband is a real man, full of strength and character, and really changed lives. And he was chased out of the profession. Who will teach these boys to be men?</p>
<p>R.</p>
Staff
2017-12-04T18:57:00Z
One Activity at a Time
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/One-Activity-at-a-Time/883710277770932706.html
2017-11-30T18:58:00Z
2017-11-30T18:58:00Z
<p>My mom (who had been a first grade teacher before I was born and then a stay at home mom) had a good rule regarding after school activities: my sisters and I were only allowed to participate in one after school activity at a time. We did not lack in trying new things. I think I did everything! I just didn't do it all at the same time. Maybe piano lessons overlapped, and once I was chosen to participate in drawing lessons at a college while I was still on Drill Team (though that proved to be too much).</p>
<p>I adopted that rule with my own children too. Why? Because then they have down time to be creative, to help around the house (kids these days do not learn how to cook and clean!!!), to participate in other sibling's games sometimes and basically TO GET EVERYONE TO THE DINNER TABLE EVERY NIGHT TOGETHER! That is my number one goal and it's working.</p>
<p>My kids are in 8th and 9th grades and we are a very close family who does spend quality time together. My kids have time to do their homework and still time to pursue their own interests. They don't need to be scheduled and "entertained" by someone else all the time! Unfortunately other friends' parents don't do this so it's really hard for my kid to find time with their friends. It's sort of ridiculous! I really don't think the other moms cook like I do. I'm big on nourishing nutritional meals because these kids are growing plus it keeps their hormone levels more stable (and happy) to eat good home cooked food!</p>
<p>And Mom isn't crazy driving around all the time... Happy Momma, Happy Family!!</p>
<p>Bethany</p>
Staff
2017-11-30T18:58:00Z
Men vs. Boys
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Men-vs.-Boys/-184416592500861835.html
2017-11-30T18:56:00Z
2017-11-30T18:56:00Z
<p>Hi Dr Laura</p>
<p>As a Facebook user I see lots of feminist posts. My granddaughter's step-father (her father, my son died 7 years ago) posted this on his page. I was impressed, and wanted to share it with you. Sounds like something YOU would say!</p>
<p>Boys ask questions… Men give answers!!! <br />Boys play house… Men build homes!!! <br />Boys shack up… Men get married!!! <br />Boys make babies… Men raise children!!! <br />A boy won't raise his own children… A man will raise his and someone else's!!! <br />Boys invent excuses for failure… Men produce strategies for success!!! <br />Boys look for somebody to take care of them… Men look for someone to take care of!!! <br />Boys seek popularity… Men demand respect and know how to give it!</p>
<p>In support of the hard working family men and good fathers out there...The Real Men!!"</p>
<p>God Bless you for keeping me grounded!</p>
<p>Deb</p>
Staff
2017-11-30T18:56:00Z
Made Two Simple Changes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Made-Two-Simple-Changes/393792999180494160.html
2017-11-29T18:58:00Z
2017-11-29T18:58:00Z
<p>This morning my husband said, "I'm so lucky I have the best wife in the world!" Dr. Laura, we are not newlyweds, but have been married 35 years.</p>
<p>We always had a good marriage, but five years ago I read your book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. I made a vow at that time to do two things: I would never again say no to sex, and I would ban any negative talk about my husband from my speech or thoughts (the last being the harder part). I realized how I had gotten in the habit of thinking negative things: Why doesn't he do it the right way? Why can't he just get to the point? etc.</p>
<p>So, fast forward to today and I can truly say our marriage is stupendous, excellent, wonderful! These were simple things any woman can do, even if you don't feel like making the effort. Just do it! The pay off is definitely worth it. And you will find your love for the wonderful man you chose deepens into the best kind of life partnership anyone could wish for. So glad I read your book. Thank you.</p>
<p>P.</p>
Staff
2017-11-29T18:58:00Z
Back With The Ex
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Back-With-The-Ex/465471999024914794.html
2017-11-29T18:58:00Z
2017-11-29T18:58:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I was married at 19 for 22 years to the love of my life. Although, we were very different on many levels we made it work for quite some time. We divorced in 2005 and I never looked back. However, our two sons, ages then 13 and 16, did.</p>
<p>One evening, last March, my ex and I met to take our youngest to yet another rehab center. We were running late and we decided to go to dinner. All I can say is that night changed all of our lives. We re-connected and have been "working" on our relationship ever since. It has not been easy to say the least, but there is no greater satisfaction than to hear our now adult children say they are soooo happy to see Dad and Mom together. <br /><br />Although, it was an adjustment for me to go back to cooking and cleaning and taking care of others, I look at it now as my gift to my family. It's not a chore, it's a privilege. Second chances are possible.</p>
<p>T.</p>
Staff
2017-11-29T18:58:00Z
Reporting Child Molestation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Reporting-Child-Molestation/475622024065259488.html
2017-11-28T18:58:00Z
2017-11-28T18:58:00Z
<p>Thirty years ago when I was 21, I caught my 32 year old brother molesting his 7 year old daughter. I scooped her up, put her in my car and called the authorities. He was arrested and I was a witness for the prosecution. He spent 10 years in prison. Once released, he refused to register as a sex offender. Guess where he is today? Yes, in prison and has been for the last 13 years. He is right where he belongs. I have zero regret and would do it again in a heartbeat!</p>
<p>By the way, I've been listening to you for 35 years....I believe you were broadcasting out of UC Irvine way back when!</p>
<p>Thanks for all you do!</p>
<p>Barbara</p>
Staff
2017-11-28T18:58:00Z
Finding Heart for my Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finding-Heart-for-my-Husband/-313347662796872291.html
2017-11-28T18:57:00Z
2017-11-28T18:57:00Z
<p>I am a 44 year old woman, married for 15 years. We have two daughters 3 and 8. I work part time as a special needs counselor, and my husband works overnight at a hotel. Our 3 year old is not in day care. Between the two of us we watch the baby.</p>
<p>I am very good at complaining about what my husband does not do: take out the trash, wash dishes, cook, blah blah blah.</p>
<p>One day I was at the end of my rope with my 3 year old's whining. She had whined from the moment we got up, on the ride to my other daughter's school, and continued at home. My husband was preparing for bed, and I told him I was about to lose it. Nothing would calm her. My husband suddenly came to her and said: "Guess what? Handy Manny and his tools called and said they missed you. They want you to come and watch the show. Let's go get your hammer and watch the show." She stopped whining, said, "OK, Daddy." And clutching her tool, she laid down with dad and watched her show. I was so filled with love for my husband at that moment, I wanted to jump his bones! I had something so special - I was totally appreciative of him. I love you Ricardo.</p>
<p>D.</p>
Staff
2017-11-28T18:57:00Z
WonderWife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/WonderWife/287934396591485275.html
2017-11-27T18:58:00Z
2017-11-27T18:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>I know by being a loyal listener you get loads of mail from husbands who complain about their wives and girlfriends and I want to break that barrier. I want to tell you about my wife.</p>
<p>We have been married 37 years and although we haven't had a perfect marriage, my wife has always been there for me no matter what. She is my wife, lover, girlfriend, partner, and above all my best friend. I have not always been there for her, but that never stopped her from being there for me. I can't say enough about her and will raise my praises for her to anybody. I don't know what I would do without her and hopefully will never have to find out. She is an inspiration to me and shows she loves me every day. She is never too busy or too tired to show her support and love for me. I feel like this is a one sided street sometimes and work very hard to prove to her I am worthy of her. I won't go on, but I think you see I have a very special woman and to let you know they are still out there. I have the diamond of the crop.</p>
<p>Keep up the great work and thank you for being there for the people that need the help.</p>
<p>Randy</p>
Staff
2017-11-27T18:58:00Z
Why Guys Don't Call
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Guys-Dont-Call/826447338162681956.html
2017-11-27T18:57:00Z
2017-11-27T18:57:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Your commentary today hit a nerve. I am a 54 year old divorced man who waited until my kids were grown before dating again. I've been that guy who doesn't call back a few times now for a lot of the reasons you touched on. One woman spent the few dates we did go on endlessly discussing her work, her professional aspirations and not much else. She also asked after the 3rd date whether I found her attractive because I had not made any "moves" yet. This is even though I explained on the first dates that sex is precious and to be part of a committed relationship. The last woman I dated (also my age) spent most of the time discussing her mother issues - going so far as to tell me she took a job in the past to be away from her mother, but has just moved back. Not exactly a turn-on. I've also learned to tell a lot by how they discuss their daughters, particularly when the daughters are in shack up situations; having casual sex and then talking about how bad the men are their daughters pick, but never once about their daughters' behavior.</p>
<p>You're right, as a man, I would be more than interested in a woman who is feminine, not interviewing for a job and who knows how to engage a man.</p>
<p>You're the best,</p>
<p>R</p>
Staff
2017-11-27T18:57:00Z
Timing IS Everything!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Timing-IS-Everything!/-342216508968167026.html
2017-11-22T18:58:00Z
2017-11-22T18:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />First off let me say I have always seemed to listen to you at the wrong times in my life. I listened 20 years ago and then for some reason I stopped. If I had been listening 17 years ago I would possibly not have married the woman I married, I chose wrong.</p>
<p>Then I started listening again for a few years, and then stopped again. If I had been listening 8 years ago, I would possibly not have gotten divorced, I would have fought for my marriage.</p>
<p>Fast forward 8 years and I am finally listening at the right time in my life. I am my kids' dad, I live a mile away from them and spend as much time as possible with them. I have put my personal life on hold until they are out of school, I did not feel it would be fair to them to involve them in another family and the headaches that come with trying to blend 2 families. Their mother unfortunately has not had the same commitment to them. She has had a parade of men through the years that have come into their lives and then had to live through the fallout when these men leave.</p>
<p>Recently, it came to my attention their mother has had them spending the night at the home of the most recent man. Their mother and I have been able to be civil, but when it comes to me calling her on anything she can get very combative. Let me say that in our marriage she was very emasculating and definitely wanted to be the man of the family, and to my detriment, I let her. DR. LAURA TO THE RESCUE!! I put on my big boy undies, "Manned Up" and confronted her tonight about not "shacking up" while she had the kids. Of course she got defensive and started trying to justify it. I explained she had 2 choices. Stop "shacking up" and everything would be fine, or not stop, and I would go to court and ask a judge to put a stop to it. I am sure the battle has just started. I will keep listening for my daily dose of encouragement from you and continue to fight for my kids. I have every confidence that if I keep listening and I am lucky enough one day to find another love, it will be done the right way -- the Dr. Laura way.</p>
<p>Thanks again,</p>
<p>Loren</p>
Staff
2017-11-22T18:58:00Z
Finally Free to Be Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finally-Free-to-Be-Me/597048864102689911.html
2017-11-22T18:57:00Z
2017-11-22T18:57:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>This letter to you is a long time coming. I have listened to you since I was 13; I am 30 now. You have been a moral voice in my life as I grew up with a father who had no integrity or good character and with a drug addict, suicidal, mentally ill mother. I wanted to tell you about my path and in part because of you where I am today.</p>
<p>I was a doormat for my mom to walk on for most of my years: I was her mother, her crutch and after my parents divorce - she treated me like a whipped husband. And I let her. I let her use me: I shopped for her, at times fed and bathed her, and was her taxi service when she did leave the house. There was so much more than this but I think you get the idea.</p>
<p>Today I am living on my own and recently set some firm limits in our relationship. She recently re-married and considered coming back to live with me again because it was too hard to give in her marriage and she wanted a slave. I told her no more, we would not live together because now it's my turn to live my life; she had her chance and has blown it every step of the way. No longer would I be her mother and I told her so; I told her I am happy living this way for the first time in my life - happy. As a result she went back with her husband and I have since started on my weight loss journey. You see, I gained 139 lbs. during the duration of my self-allowed imprisonment. I lost 7.5 lbs over the holidays; I am now down 12 lbs. in the last 3 weeks or so. I have a LONG way to go, but I am keeping loving and realistic expectations on myself and looking at this as empowerment, freeing me to be ME. My life has never been better, I am serving in my church, singing, crafting, spending quality time with quality friends and enjoying the little things in life.</p>
<p>You have been my long-distance Mom all these years, for that I am more than grateful - I am changed! Bless you and your family!!</p>
<p>H</p>
Staff
2017-11-22T18:57:00Z
Living at Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Living-at-Home/-888398054372354733.html
2017-11-21T18:58:00Z
2017-11-21T18:58:00Z
<p>After college, I had the opportunity to take a job in my hometown. The pay was so low, I would have to live at home. My mother said "No". She said if I didn't break out of my comfort zone and spread my wings at that time, I never would. A couple of weeks later, I got another opportunity in much larger city. I am so grateful for the "tough love" from my parents which pushed me to keep looking and launched a wonderful career in a profession I love.</p>
<p>Contrary to that: my ex-in-laws harbor their oldest son (he's pushing 50). They lost everything in the real estate collapse and only live off social security... and their grown son lives with them, does not work (he owes 30K in back child support) and doesn't even do chores. Their financial condition is such they may go on food stamps. It infuriates me, so I limit contact will all involved. They've made excuses for him all of his life and continue to do so to their detriment, and that of my child (their grandchild). I can't imagine a grandparent willing to tolerate and fully support a capable adult child who won't work, making them financially unable to drive to see their grandchildren.<br /><br />E.</p>
Staff
2017-11-21T18:58:00Z
Push Ups
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Push-Ups/93147845897496232.html
2017-11-21T18:57:00Z
2017-11-21T18:57:00Z
<p>I love your advice and have followed you for about 15 years. I have now been VERY happily married for 12 years and I know that is partly because of listening to you and taking the advice you provide every day. I am an attorney, my husband is an MBA Engineer from USC. <br /><br />Anyway, I want you to know I love the information you provide regarding fitness. It is hard with two dogs, two kids and a part-time career (the part-time aspect is also partly due to your influence) to keep fit when I would rather spend my free time with my kids. I LOVE the push-up suggestions. I am fit and just did 10, no problem. I will do another 10 before I go to bed. But I now know I have to do more to beat your little 60 year plus butt!! <br /><br />Keep going Dr. Laura. I have Sirius so I can listen to you!!</p>
<p><br />Denise</p>
Staff
2017-11-21T18:57:00Z
Why I Quit Facebook
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-I-Quit-Facebook/-680489478911335231.html
2017-11-20T18:58:00Z
2017-11-20T18:58:00Z
<p>When I opened your email this morning saying you were talking today about Facebook affecting a person's mental health I was so happy.</p>
<p>I quit Facebook almost a year ago for some of the very reasons you mentioned! I am a young mom (28 with 4 kids, started when I was 19) and I was finding seeing pictures constantly of all the outings my old group of friends were having without me was making me depressed and resenting the life that I CHOSE! I knew deep inside I didn't want to hang out with them even if they had invited me, yet when I saw the pictures I couldn't help but feel jealous and lonely. I also would become dissatisfied when I'd see pictures of "friends" vacations. We haven't chosen to afford fancy vacations, never mind with ($$$!) or without (babysitter!) our kids. And I'm ok with that. But I wouldn't be ok with it when I saw their pictures. Even little things like seeing "friends" pictures looking gorgeous in their bikinis would be enough to send me over the edge. I am fit but my tummy is covered in stretch marks (all 3 of my boys were 9lbs 6oz!) and there's no way you'd catch me looking good in a bikini. So I'd just start to hate myself more.</p>
<p>Another reason was all the drama it seemed to create in my life. A few years later I STILL have a broken relationship with one of my cousins and countless hurts over the years of people's thoughts and ideas not being expressed appropriately because of lack of context or emotion displayed in text, or even, just lack of maturity.</p>
<p>Facebook has changed our social behaviors, and not for the better. I have people in my life whom I think are great, and when I see them now and then I'd love to catch up and see how they are. But I don't need to be their Facebook "friend". The problem with that is if you are not, you are dubbed as a total snob if you deny their friend request. So even your arms-length "friends" now must be your Facebook "friend". There is no such thing as acquaintances anymore! I don't ever plan to return to Facebook. I have been much happier and content without it.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for always addressing the real issues. I don't think my marriage would have survived its first year if I weren't listening to you everyday! You have helped me be a better mother (I am MyKidsMom!) and I'm so grateful for your tell it like it is attitude.</p>
<p>Love,<br />J. - living Facebook-free since 2011</p>
Staff
2017-11-20T18:58:00Z
I've Learned So Much from My Spouse
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ive-Learned-So-Much-from-My-Spouse/80113731357810129.html
2017-11-20T18:57:00Z
2017-11-20T18:57:00Z
<p>My spouse's best quality is his internal compass. Not a North-South type of compass, but the kind that always points him to the right decision and keeps him on an eternally even keel. His ability to examine a situation, weigh all options and inputs, and come up with the correct response always leaves me in awe...and he can do all of this in an instant!</p>
<p>He challenges me to become a better person. He has already changed me for the better! Thanks to his influence, I've reduced the amount of drama I attach to situations, have become a better listener, and even begun to think critically about purchases. I'm still learning from him, and I make mistakes, but I'm glad he doesn't hold them against me. I can only hope that he learns as much from me as I do from him.</p>
<p>Thank you for your program! </p>
<p>Theresa</p>
Staff
2017-11-20T18:57:00Z
Excuses for 'Bad Behavior'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Excuses-for-Bad-Behavior/-700895357019283892.html
2017-11-17T18:58:00Z
2017-11-17T18:58:00Z
<p>I am 1 of 11 children. My Dad was an alcoholic. I have seen things no child should see or live through. I learned from my experience.... MY NEW MOTTO...</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>Don't Blame the Past for your Future</em></p>
<p>I often speak about my past and I am not ashamed about any of it. I am very proud of where I am today, the person I have become, and where I am going. What I experienced taught me to change and NOT REPEAT behavior. I do not ever remember my mother telling me she loved me. I tell my son each and every time I speak to him. We never yell at each other (everyone yelled when I was growing up). We have "discussions" not ever with a raised voice. As I remember it from childhood... "Yelling means something bad will happen".... I don't do it nor like it.... </p>
<p>So I pass this motto on to others: <em>Don't Blame the Past for your Future!!!!!!</em></p>
<p>Thank you,<br /><br />U.</p>
Staff
2017-11-17T18:58:00Z
My Lifelong Influence
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Lifelong-Influence/485665220198051451.html
2017-11-17T18:57:00Z
2017-11-17T18:57:00Z
<p>Just a thank you!<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Just wanted to say thank you for all the years of help. I started listening to you when my daughter was 10 yrs. old and very shy. You said to a caller to sign kids up for self defense to gain confidence. I did and joined with her, along with my husband and son. My husband and I became black belts and both kids stopped at pre-black. My husband and I were avid sailors back then sailing Dart 18 ft. catamarans a passion my son continues. So when you talk of your sailing brings me fond memories. My husband passed away 13 years ago of a glioblastoma brain tumor. Talk about hard days, indescribable. I started doing capoeira gave up tae kwon do after a huge white belt with no control sent me flying across the room, to old for that a Brazilian martial art to keep busy and make new friends. Also Dr. Laura I went on a trip by myself great white shark diving off Mexico, the first trip I had ever done by myself alone. Met some wonderful people and realized I could do things by myself. A lot of this due to your advice to people over the years. I have tried to raise my kids with all your advice ringing in my ears. A man my husband worked with who had lost his wife to breast cancer called me one day and the rest is history we have been married for 7 years. NOW this is where all your advice has really come in. Boy is it different the second time around. You are not just ringing in my ears but you are like BELLS blasting!! His two adult daughters have been a challenge but thanks to you we are coping. Between us we have 5 grandchildren and another one on the way. His daughter has one boy 2 years, my son has two girls 3 years and 9 months, my daughter has two a son 3 years and a girl almost 2. To say I am a busy grandmother is a understatement. Both my daughter and daughter-in-law are stay at home Moms. His daughter is not and his other daughter never wants kids. I keep my mouth shut! They know how I feel and know I am a avid listener of you. I hear you talking about your weight lifting and I do Crossfit now, even though I am a wimp, I still do it!! My daughter and son-in-law own a Crossfit gym in Ventura. Crossfit Anacapa if you are ever in Ventura and want to workout come by and workout with me. I am usually there Monday - Friday 3:30 class!<br /> <br />Thank you Dr. Laura for the advice over all these years, keep it up and just know how much you mean to a lot of people. <br /><br />Cindy</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-11-17T18:57:00Z
Thanks To You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thanks-To-You/5836218001865615.html
2017-11-16T18:58:00Z
2017-11-16T18:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hello Dr. Laura - I called you today because I needed a push with starting a home staging business, as my 2 boys are 14 and 16 and in a few years I will have a lot of free time. I hung up the phone with you and am getting a list of real estate friends to do some free staging for. I also am hiring a career coach to help me with the business side. My plan is to do this as somewhat of a hobby until my youngest is out of the house. You motivated me! Thank you for all of the years of wisdom you've given me. <br /><br />Thanks to you I married a great man and we are nice to each other. I quit my trial-attorney job to stay home with my boys. Ironically, after I quit, my husband's business took off. He was interviewed by a newspaper and asked what was the best career decision he has ever made and he replied, "encouraging my wife to retire and stay home with our boys." I can't tell you our boys are beautiful, with teenage pimples and all, but they are honest, hardworking respectful young men who would open the door for you. <br /><br />FYI, if you are ever in San Diego the land of hand holding I would love to take you hiking at Torrey Pines State Park. I hike it every week and it's absolutely beautiful! Thanks for all you do...and Lego on! </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-11-16T18:58:00Z
Recovered Limp Chick
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Recovered-Limp-Chick/-578945559207308560.html
2017-11-16T18:58:00Z
2017-11-16T18:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am the Recovered Limp Chick that called you Tuesday asking if it is okay if my husband and children go to my in-law's holiday party. They wanted to go without me because I am highly allergic to the smoke in their house. In short, you said, “<em>Why would he want to?</em>” <br /><br />After 28 years of listening to you, it's still impressive how you get to the point! This recovered limp chick immediately called her husband, who after 45 minutes of a mostly loving discussion, agreed with you completely, said he was proud that I am a recovered limp chick and he too is going to become a recovered limp, well, you know. <br /><br />Dr. Laura, you're changing families! Thank you! All our love from the non-limp-anything family! </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-11-16T18:58:00Z
Can You Hear Me Now?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Can-You-Hear-Me-Now/-343456939132935322.html
2017-11-15T18:26:00Z
2017-11-15T18:26:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Is it just me noticing this or is this the sad new norm: Mothers deliberately ignoring their children whilst selfishly too busy on their cell phones while shopping etc to pay attention to their children...</p>
<p>If I was a child again, I could NOT imagine my mother too pre-occupied being busy on the phone ignoring me while out shopping... What must children of these parents be growing up thinking???</p>
<p>Clearly it is telling children they are NOT important enough for parents to focus on them, to do their job raising and teaching by example HEALTHY behavior! No wonder children grow up not being potty trained or having any manners - parents are too busy being selfish and lazy to guide their offspring into contributing members of society.</p>
<p>How sad to witness parents on cell phones ignoring the glorious moments they should be cherishing with their children...</p>
<p>Love & respect your advice Dr. Laura- Keep the tractor going…</p>
<p>Hugs,</p>
<p>Lara</p>
Staff
2017-11-15T18:26:00Z
Adjusting to Motherhood!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Adjusting-to-Motherhood!/371103879137712666.html
2017-11-15T18:25:00Z
2017-11-15T18:25:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>After hearing your comments regarding the adjustment time it takes to motherhood, I have to say thank you!</p>
<p>I am a very happily married mother of 2 young (and VERY BUSY!!!!) boys! I was happy to hear the adjustment period is normal! It's definitely something that scared me with my first! I had always wanted to be a SAHM with my kids and I was not lucky to have one, although I had a very hard working mom!</p>
<p>I wanted to SHOUT at the radio and say, "Caller, you aren't alone girl!"</p>
<p>The adjustment period was very difficult for me, BUT after that initial 'hump', things made a complete 180 degree turn around! I LOVE being my kids' mom and watching them grow and progress!</p>
<p>I've also admitted to my husband "I WANT 3 MORE!!"</p>
<p>Thank you!</p>
<p>Meghan</p>
Staff
2017-11-15T18:25:00Z
The Love You Take
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Love-You-Take/-81976724288200688.html
2017-11-14T18:58:00Z
2017-11-14T18:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am 31 years old, I am my husband's girlfriend and working on being my future children's mother.</p>
<p>A few years ago, my best friend, Jessica, reintroduced me to you after years of despising you. As young teens, her dad would listen to your show daily and lecture us on being good girls - It drove us nuts. We considered ourselves feminists and saw your ways as old school - your show was holding women back, encouraging the idea women were the weaker gender and should live to serve their men. When I got married 2 years ago, we had a very rough start. My husband and I fought a lot, dealing with major issues in our relationship. Around that time, Jessica asked me if I'd listened to you recently. I was shocked. "You mean that terrible woman your dad used to listen to??" She encouraged me to listen to your radio show with different ears. We started talking about how we were treating our men and our minds opened to the idea that perhaps we had been wrong about your message. From there, I picked up "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and my world changed. I became a regular listener of your show. I picked up "Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships" and signed up for your newsletter. I told my mom, sister, aunts and husband all about you because I wanted everyone to read your books and see what I now see.</p>
<p>My relationship with my husband has dramatically changed. I know how to take care of my King... it is so easy. The love I get in return is indescribable. Now we are ready for a family and have started the process of buying a home, bringing us to a new obstacle - the Don't Be A Stay At Home Mom mentality. We both have great full time jobs but are applying for a home loan with only one salary - his. This is a big step because my current income is over a third of our household income, plus by quitting my job, I will be losing a large amount of unvested stock. Our lifestyle is about to go through a major change. Some of my friends and family think I am crazy to give that up. I've been encouraged to "put it in a spreadsheet" and "weigh out the opportunity cost" more than a handful of times. But then I think about my childhood, how even as my parents struggled for money, my mom was always there. She raised me as a baby and took on an in-home day care when my sister was born so even if she couldn't give us her full attention, at least she was the one raising us. I think about how lucky I am to have a husband who fully supports my wishes to raise our children and how blessed we are to have income we do to make this happen.</p>
<p>Dr. Laura, the greatest thing about your message is that it applies to ALL relationships: husband to wife, mother to child, sister to brother, best friend to best friend. The love you put into a relationship is the love you'll get out of it. Thank you for being such a role model in this way.</p>
<p>E.</p>
Staff
2017-11-14T18:58:00Z
Things Not In My Control
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Things-Not-In-My-Control/-665452110277837560.html
2017-11-14T18:57:00Z
2017-11-14T18:57:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura</p>
<p>I phoned you about 6 months ago because I was trying to 'fix' my husband's relationship with his mother. She has nothing to do with us or our children while living only minutes away. My husband has very little to say about this, only that his mother will change her attitude when she misses us enough and until then our children have 3 other amazing grandparents.</p>
<p>Since your advice, I have stopped trying to fix the things out of my control and I am enjoying the relationships in our lives that are uplifting and positive. I am also letting my husband be the man he is and not undermining his decisions. Mostly I wanted to change this relationship because I always hoped my children would have the grandparents I never did. Now I see they do, without her. This has helped my marriage so much. Thank you for your passion, your wisdom and your insight. You may never know just how much you saved.</p>
<p>From an ever grateful and lucky lady who married a real man. Now thanks to you I am behaving more like his loving girlfriend.</p>
<p>Abigail</p>
Staff
2017-11-14T18:57:00Z
Little Reminders
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Little-Reminders/857410484864041560.html
2017-11-13T18:58:00Z
2017-11-13T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have a small place card holder in my kitchen where I place Bible verses or clever sayings to motivate and inspire my family on a daily basis. <br /><br />This is today's motivation! Thought you?d enjoy it! Keep up the good work! You are a true inspiration!<br /><br />Alice<br /><br /><br /><img style="vertical-align: text-bottom; margin: 5px;" src="/images/blog/jjjjj.jpg" alt="" width="968" height="1296" /></p>
Staff
2017-11-13T18:58:00Z
It Wasn't Luck
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Wasnt-Luck/454460723933523805.html
2017-11-13T18:57:00Z
2017-11-13T18:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I wanted to offer some advice to the woman who will do the right thing and stay at home and raise their own children. When I began working full-time at the age of 20, I knew I was going to be home with my future children. Thus, I began to save. I lived a wonderful single life, spent wisely, traveled, but always saved for those future children. <br /><br />After my husband and I were married, and before children came along, we decided that all of my income would go to savings and that we would live only on his income. This practice showed us that we could do just that once the kids came along. Needless to say, when the babies started coming (4 babies in 5 years), we had substantial savings and we were accustomed to living on one income. We drove old cars, had old furniture, did not go on vacations, BUT, our kids were SURROUNDED by love all day long. <br /><br />Advice to young women out there . . . save, save, save so that you, too, can be home with your children. People used to tell me I was lucky to be able to stay home with my children. I told them it had nothing to do with luck . . . it was love!</p>
Staff
2017-11-13T18:57:00Z
Young Women and Clothing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Young-Women-and-Clothing/-44209601813499502.html
2017-11-10T18:58:00Z
2017-11-10T18:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura</p>
<p>I love your program and listen everyday in the car. Recently, you had a guest on talking about the new definitions of rape. I agree with both of you. Young women of today have to take responsibility for themselves and their actions. I have 3 daughters ages 24, 22, and 17. I have always had this motto: when it comes to their bodies, if you don't respect your body no one else will. I never allowed my girls to have a gap between the shirt and the top of the pants; a camisole is not the only top - if they wore spaghetti strap shirts, I required another shirt over them; and the boobs and butt would never be coming out of any end of the clothing. Sure they wear all the latest styles, but they do it with style. I have made them change on many occasion and we have had our battles. They each have their own style and I respect that, but they have respect and dignity for themselves. I always told them provocative clothing will get you attention from the guys, but it is not the right attention and they may as well put a sign on themselves that says I AM EASY. I certainly do not have perfect girls, but they do respect their bodies and for that I am a proud mom.</p>
<p>Thank you for your bluntness and telling it like it is when it comes to the sexualization of girls.</p>
<p>Sincerely</p>
<p>Linda</p>
Staff
2017-11-10T18:58:00Z
Raising a Bunch of Wimps?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-a-Bunch-of-Wimps/790555649925988324.html
2017-11-10T18:57:00Z
2017-11-10T18:57:00Z
<p>I overheard this at a coffeeshop yesterday...<br /><br /><br />Woman #1: I'm so tired of playing the same games with my grandkids.<br /><br />Woman #2: Do you play Candyland? Chutes & Ladders?<br /><br />Woman #1: No, they're not allowed to play those games.<br /><br />Woman #2: Why?<br /><br />Woman #1: Because "it's too upsetting if they have to go backward and lose their spot." I swear, I'm so out of touch with this generation. All these 40 year-old college educated mothers are raising a bunch of wimps!</p>
<p>Couldn't help but laugh to myself.<br /><br />Paula</p>
Staff
2017-11-10T18:57:00Z
A Girl's Worth
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Girls-Worth/-970732773905010594.html
2017-11-09T18:58:00Z
2017-11-09T18:58:00Z
<p>Here's a Facebook post a friend of mine shared and I immediately had to re-post it. It's actually written in a cute tree shape poem, green at the top and brown at the trunk. I'm turning this into a giant poster and hanging it in my daughter's room. She's only 3 now, but she sure is worth the world. I'm hoping she'll grow up knowing her worth and wait for that special boy that knows it too! Enjoy!<br />Rosanna</p>
<p>"Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree."</p>
Staff
2017-11-09T18:58:00Z
Having Someone Who Can Help
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Having-Someone-Who-Can-Help/-49076253702441384.html
2017-11-09T18:57:00Z
2017-11-09T18:57:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Listening to a recent caller who was molested by her grandfather brought me to tears and just confirmed how much I appreciate and love you. Telling her to call you anytime (instead of suppressing her emotions through eating) and that you would be her surrogate mother was so giving. I'm sure it helped her to know she has someone she can turn to for help.</p>
<p>You truly are a gift and I enjoy listening to you everyday. I need my Dr. Laura fix... I have been listening since the early 90's and you have truly helped me be a better person. I thank you for that from the bottom of my heart.</p>
<p>Also, I've noticed since you've been on SiriusXM you are much more relaxed and happy. Glad you are still here for us.</p>
<p>Debbie</p>
<p>P.S. I once sailed to Hawaii from San Francisco (1970) with a family group. We were on a 40ft Catch and it was during the Trans Pac Race too. It was one of the highlights of my life. (I was 19 and fearless.) I so enjoyed hearing your sailing stories of your recent venture. Kuddos to you for taking on the challenge. You are inspirational.</p>
Staff
2017-11-09T18:57:00Z
Sticking To Your Values
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sticking-To-Your-Values/716909107539954179.html
2017-11-08T18:58:00Z
2017-11-08T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just finished your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060976497/noxsolutions-20/ref=nosim" target="_blank">10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives</a></em>" and I think I've done all of them! But, I am reclaiming my life! <br /><br />I just made my boyfriend move out. He was living with me and I told him that I didn't want to break up, but that I didn't want to live together anymore. I told him he could date me if he wanted to. He agreed and moved out. <br /><br />I just want to thank you for sticking to your values. I've been listening to you for a couple of years and during the time he was living with me, I wouldn't listen to you because I knew you were right. I didn't have the courage to "<em>do the right thing</em>" I've had your book in my drawer for 2 years now, but would never read it until now....lol. You're like the mother that I didn't want to listen to. <br /><br />I want to encourage all the women out there to read this book and STOP DOING THESE STUPID THINGS THAT REALLY ARE MESSING UP OUR LIVES!! I'm 50....so from now till dead I'm going do smart things that Improve my life and add value to it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-11-08T18:58:00Z
You Made Me Better
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Made-Me-Better/-465939181386770347.html
2017-11-08T18:57:00Z
2017-11-08T18:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been a listener for over 25 years. One afternoon at work, I was moaning about my hour-long drive home. My supervisor said, "<em>Listen to Dr. Laura and quit your complaining</em>". I did! <br /><br />I cannot count the number of times you have guided me over the years. You have made me a better person, wife, and mother. I do not let the petty issues bother me anymore. I have a husband with Parkinson's and chronic depression so not all days are good ones. But I'm hanging in there with the help of family. <br /><br />I think you have no idea of how many people you have helped and lives you have changed. My family often hears me quote Dr. Laura! <br /><br /><br />Thank you,<br /><br />Jen</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-11-08T18:57:00Z
Taking a Stand
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-a-Stand/-599510831466232881.html
2017-11-07T18:58:00Z
2017-11-07T18:58:00Z
<p>Dr Laura,</p>
<p>Let me preface by saying your wisdom and outlook have changed my life for the better. I have bought and read The Proper Care and feeding of Husbands and have passed it on to many friends. That book has saved a few marriages in my family. Thank you.</p>
<p>I am happily married to a US Marine who is currently deployed. I am his girlfriend and I love him more than anything in this world. Today I saw a post on one of the deployment Facebook pages I subscribe to and there was a post from a woman who was seeking advice because her husband had cheated on her. He is now regretful and wants to work on the marriage when he gets home from deployment. She stated she is no longer in love with him and has a male friend she confides to and spends time with although they are "just friends". Not only that, she told her husband about this man. They have two small children and she is thinking of divorce. Me being me and having those beliefs you helped instill in me replied to the post. This is what I wrote...</p>
<p><em>"Be sweet. Go through the motions of being affectionate, attentive and loving. Keep doing it even when your head isn't in, because eventually it will be. Think back to the good times. Think back to when you would get yourself all dolled up and be excited to see him. If you go through the motions and get your mind set back to loving him, you will. Woman dictate the tempo. I agree counseling is necessary. But for now, put your best foot forward and support him."</em></p>
<p>Of course, I was blasted. So I then wrote...</p>
<p><em>"I am not going to apologize for believing in the sanctity of marriage. Cheating is hurtful and not ok, but I will not condone divorce when children are involved unless there is abuse and/or drug use. Those are my beliefs. Most things are fixabe in a marriage. You just have to put in the work. Having "outside" influences only strain the marriage so those things need to be eliminated by both of them. Children are the ones who suffer the most with divorce and if it can be avoided, then it should be. Marriage is not all rainbows and unicorns. It is hard work. It is just as easy to fall back in love if you put forth the effort. Throwing in the towel should not be your first instinct. Fighting to keep your family together should be. If more people put in the effort, there would be less divorce."</em></p>
<p>Again I was blasted by the other wives who were quick to support divorce.</p>
<p>I have always been one to speak my mind and to stand up for my beliefs. But I wanted to thank you for making me a better wife and mother and for instilling the right beliefs about marriage and mothering in me. My life is wonderful. Although I miss my husband, I conduct myself as if he is right by my side at all times. He is the love of my life. Thank you!</p>
<p>Jenn</p>
Staff
2017-11-07T18:58:00Z
I Hope It's Not Too Late
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Hope-Its-Not-Too-Late/-282493737125984433.html
2017-11-07T18:57:00Z
2017-11-07T18:57:00Z
<p><br />My husband and I are going through a very rough patch right now and I am afraid it will not end well. I haven't talked to any one about it except telling a friend we were having problems. She recommended "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage." I went to a bookstore today to pick up a copy, but when I brought the book home I realized it was "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." I started reading the book out of boredom thinking of taking it back in the morning and exchanging it. While reading it, I realized this was not a mistake - this was God or my guardian angel's way of waking me up and helping me realize how stupid and wrong I have been for the past 7 years of marriage. I hope I am not too late to change the selfish and ignorant way I have been and to appreciate, respect and love this wonderful guy I have been letting down all this time. In chapter two and every single story, I have been involved in: I try to make him perfect for me; or criticize everything: nag, bitch, complain about everything and anything stupid; and on top of it, expect to be treated like a queen and a goddess when I haven't been doing anything to deserve it.</p>
<p>He is away for training now and doesn't come back until next Friday. I sent him a message, asking to give me some time before he gives up on me completely and I am praying very hard he gives me that time. I wish someone had given me this book before I got married; it would have been an eye opener and I wouldn't be in this situation right now.</p>
<p>Ana</p>
Staff
2017-11-07T18:57:00Z
Other Causes of Childhood Stress
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Other-Causes-of-Childhood-Stress/466235478508731071.html
2017-11-06T18:58:00Z
2017-11-06T18:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Thank you for addressing the topic of childhood stress on your show recently.</p>
<p>Our daughter cried a lot and was also extremely stressed. Sometimes we could only hold her and caress her as she remained inconsolable. After several trips to specialists, it was recommended we medicate her for anxiety and ADHD.</p>
<p>Instead, we asked she be tested for neurobiological causes such as Celiac Sprue, Sleep Disorders, and Thyroid dysfunction. Fortunately, my husband is a Pediatric Neuropsychologist trained at UCLA and CHLA. He has learned many kids with such disorders have symptoms of anxiety and ADHD.</p>
<p>The results of testing indicated our daughter had Celiac Sprue. Within weeks of implementing treatment, her anxiety and ADHD symptoms subsided. She is now a happy and successful teen who has a passion for helping others.</p>
<p>Based on our personal experience, I sincerely wish families were more aware of the neurobiological causes of childhood stress.</p>
<p>Warmest regards,</p>
<p>Rose</p>
Staff
2017-11-06T18:58:00Z
Highlighting Throughout
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Highlighting-Throughout/782962836475067224.html
2017-11-06T18:57:00Z
2017-11-06T18:57:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My boyfriend recently gave me your book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and I was pissed. I immediately flipped through it and ripped it apart, stating it didn't apply to me or us.</p>
<p>The next day I attempted to tell him (in what I thought was a rational manner) something he had done that had upset me and rather than let it fester I wanted to tell him and move on from it. He did not see my point of view on the situation. We argued - did not yell we never do - and I ended up in tears because he didn't want to try anymore and has given me many chances to change my ways. He thought maybe we weren't going to work and he needed time to himself. I was devastated.</p>
<p>I grudgingly picked up your book, and actually read it in one shot. I am a person who likes to highlight to re-read important things again after. Well, I found myself highlighting on every page. I feel like a horrible person for the way I have treated him. I can't wait for him to be off from work again (He works at a camp for 21 days then has 10 days off) so I can try to mend my disastrous ways. But I won't jump on him. I really hope he will be willing to give me one more chance to prove I love him with my being. But if he doesn't, I now know where I went wrong and won't take that road in future relationships.</p>
<p>Thank you.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>R.</p>
Staff
2017-11-06T18:57:00Z
Thank You for Being the Captain of a Tight Ship
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You-for-Being-the-Captain-of-a-Tight-Ship/-26336279232542087.html
2017-11-03T17:58:00Z
2017-11-03T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />In my daily life, YOU are a PORT IN THE STORM.... YOU Captain a tight ship, you do not veer off course. You hold the wheel straight and steady and help us set sail on the rough seas of daily life. I LISTEN to YOU Everyday, because YOU stand between the world and me.<br /><br />You stand up for others like me, who believe in Traditional Values, committed marriage, and protecting children. All of these values are under attack every day, and I need to protect myself from the storms of daily life. Thank you so much for steering me through these rough seas, helping me learn something new each day. You help my resolve to hold tight to what I believe and know what is right and true! I treasure my precious manly man. Each day, I honor him and our marriage of 21 years. <br /><br />I share your WISDOM daily with those who are stressed, tired or struggling and laugh with you in my kitchen as I prepare meals for my little family. Thank you for ALL you do, to teach, inspire and right the ships of those who are tossed about by this crazy world. You are a true north for so many many of us out here!!! Keep preaching and teaching... and building your LEGOS.. <br /><br />Love ya Dr. Laura.</p>
Staff
2017-11-03T17:58:00Z
Our Child of Grace
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-Child-of-Grace/-949573442884957646.html
2017-11-03T17:57:00Z
2017-11-03T17:57:00Z
<p><br />My wife had a postpartum of 2 years with our first child Fortunately a neighbor woke me up to what was happening and I got help and took the time to help my wife. I did all the shopping, cooking, cleaning and most of the nighttime feedings. Then 4 years later we had our son. Once again my wife had postpartum depression but this time I was aware. I took a 1-month leave of absence from my job and again helped all I could. Because of this, we decided to do a vasectomy. We had two children, one of each. <br /><br />A year and a half later my wife came into my office, dropped into my lap and started to ball her eyes out. I asked what was wrong and she told me "we" were pregnant. The doctor was mystified as to how I reversed. Because of our beliefs, abortion was not an option. So we went forward and our daughter was born. I walked in one day after she was born and I saw she was on my wife's tummy. I went over to pick her up and my wife said: "<em>What are you doing?</em>" I said, "<em>putting her in the bassinet</em>". She said, "<em>leave her where she's at, she's happy and so am I</em>!" Finally, with the third, unexpected, initially unwanted child my wife bonded. This child brought a healing to my wife. We are now the proud parents of three, and grandparents to six!<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-11-03T17:57:00Z
Enjoying My Femininity
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Enjoying-My-Femininity/-986888893358613061.html
2017-11-02T17:58:00Z
2017-11-02T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura-<br /><br />I just want to thank you for your wonderfully insightful, inspiring, and necessary words that you spoke in regards to femininity and masculinity on your October 1 show. <br /><br />We are a military family with five kids, whom I home school happily and gratefully. The frequent comings and goings of my husband as he goes about his business of protecting our country often blurs line of our roles when he is home. Since he is frequently gone, I am both mother and father to our 3 boys and 2 girls. I am so happy to have listened to your wisdom and advice. Your words prompted me to resolve to enjoy my femininity when my husband is home with us and to allow him his masculine place. He is a devoted, smart, strong Man who approaches his commitments and responsibility in regards to Family and Country with utmost honor. Your words are a gift to each of us, especially me. Thank you, thank you, thank you! <br /><br />My best, <br /><br />Kelly</p>
Staff
2017-11-02T17:58:00Z
Texting While Driving
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Texting-While-Driving/-69229758076464716.html
2017-11-02T17:57:00Z
2017-11-02T17:57:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I felt compelled to send this email to you as I know you have spoken about the dangers of texting while driving. Below is the email and link to a video I received (recorded by a police cam that was directly behind the vehicle):</p>
<p>Not only should it remind us of the consequences involved with distracted driving but also how quickly bad things can happen. The sickening feeling you'll get from watching the video is much easier to take knowing that sharing this and other similar may prevent similar incidents.</p>
<p>Thanks to D. Norton for this Safety Share:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">It was determined after the accident the driver of the SUV was texting right up until the crash. If you think that big vehicles will protect you when you're texting. WATCH THIS! And most importantly, share it with your friends and family. Folks, texting and driving is STUPID. And, I'm not sorry if that hurts your feelings. I might just save MY life in saying it.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/40-second-video-texting-distracted-driving-2017-7" target="_blank">**Click here to view video**</a></p>
<p>I hope this might reiterate the dangers of texting while driving!</p>
<p>Best regards,</p>
<p>Mary</p>
Staff
2017-11-02T17:57:00Z
I Lost Perspective
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Lost-Perspective/801809081585873406.html
2017-11-01T17:58:00Z
2017-11-01T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just want to thank you for giving so many words of wisdom, advice and "<em>telling it how it is</em>", five days a week. <br /><br />I've been married for 11 years to an amazing man. Which is sad, because I only realized this a few days ago from listening to your program. You really put it in perspective. On your show I listened to the father that complained his daughter's husband was "<em>lazy</em>", he didn't clean cook etc. You said she was "<em>emasculating</em>" him. <br /><br />While I was having this "<em>great life</em>" through our marriage, I lost perspective. I took for granted and took advantage of a man that is providing me a great life. Intern, he slowly started to pull away from me and I of him. I'm working on rebuilding the foundation on how and why I fell in love with him in the first place. My husband is not a complicated man, I just made in my mind that he was. I'm working on it and it's "<em>one day at a time</em>" being nicer, kinder and definitely more thankful. So I just want to thank you for being so brutally honest and for giving such great insight. <br /><br /><br />Much appreciation, <br /><br />Megan</p>
Staff
2017-11-01T17:58:00Z
Get Off Your Booty
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Get-Off-Your-Booty/551498467355330851.html
2017-11-01T17:57:00Z
2017-11-01T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am a daughter of a woman who CHOSE to be obese her entire life. You are totally spot on when you tell women they are committing slow suicide. My mom passed last year after multiple heart surgeries for congestive heart failure. She never tried exercise, she would laugh and joke about how she hated it. She refused therapy after every surgery. She could barely move. She died at age 69 leaving behind 2 confused grandchildren and an extremely lonely husband. <br /><br />He took such loving care of her, never once did he complain about it. She just could not motivate herself. I knew in the back of my mind that she did not want to live. She was so miserable in that inflamed body of hers. She slipped and fell in the hospital trying to use the bathroom and they had to get a hydraulic lift to lift her up. There are so many other horrible things she endured, I could go on and on. <br /><br />I hope you motivate the women that call in to take control of their lives because they really do not know the living hell that they will face if they do not get off their booty.<br /><br /><br />Best Regards, <br /><br />Stay at Home Mom Domestic Engineer</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-11-01T17:57:00Z
My Family Paid the Price
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Family-Paid-the-Price/259621765471585538.html
2017-10-31T17:58:00Z
2017-10-31T17:58:00Z
<p>I have been listening to your show for quite a while. Recently it has been religiously. I have two children, a 14 month old and an eight-year-old.</p>
<p>For the past year I have been working part time for additional income for our household. Thanks to you, I realized how much it was hurting our family for me to be away from home and not being 100% a wife, mother, lover and caretaker. I have been having a really hard time trying to juggle too much and it has kept me from being my husband's girlfriend and my kids' mom.</p>
<p>My husband came to me last Saturday (after a particularly stressful week) and asked I put my two weeks in at my job. I found it amazing that almost instantaneously I had the biggest weight off of my shoulders. I also find it awesome how unbelievably appealing my husband has been to me ever since he took back his role and asked that I do the same for myself! Yay! I now have the energy to do everything I should be doing for my husband and daughters.</p>
<p>Thank you for your insight!!</p>
<p>Megan</p>
Staff
2017-10-31T17:58:00Z
Being a Strong Woman
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-a-Strong-Woman/920679643170571166.html
2017-10-31T17:56:00Z
2017-10-31T17:56:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I heard your commentary about how women should spend their 20s becoming confident and competent...Amen sister!</p>
<p>I goofed and was married at 21 to an SOB, then married again at 27 to another SOB (But I have no kids - I am not THAT much of an idiot). Now, at 35, I am married to a strong, wonderful man who loves me and takes care of me (and I take care of him). He wakes me up with coffee and a kiss, packs my lunch and supports everything I do... His mother must have been a brilliant woman (sadly she passed before I met her). I get it now...if a woman loves herself, has confidence in herself and is prepared to be a good partner...good things will happen. I am sorry it took me so damn long to listen, but I am glad I finally got it right!</p>
<p>Thanks for all you do and Merry Christmas!</p>
<p>Kindly,</p>
<p>S. (a hardworking high school administrator, married to an even harder working high school teacher)</p>
Staff
2017-10-31T17:56:00Z
I Did at Least 5 Out of 10
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Did-at-Least-5-Out-of-10/-124704180437686457.html
2017-10-30T17:58:00Z
2017-10-30T17:58:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am reading your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Stupid-Things-Mess-Their-Lives/dp/0060929448" target="_blank">Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives</a></em>" for the second time, and I have to say to all the men listening to your show, they need to stop and listen to you because you are right. <br /><br />I did at least 5 of the ten stupid things when I picked my wife and now we have been separated for just over a month. I wanted to be her knight in shining armor but I couldn't be. She had 2 kids with 2 different sperm donors and neither saw their kids much, if at all. I was never enough and life was never "<em>fair</em>" even if everything was going fine. But first and foremost, I was unhappy because I had told myself I could save her, take care of her, and be the only one for her. IT never happened. <br /><br />So to all the men out there please read the book and while you're doing that, don't be dumb and say to yourself it will be OK or that won't happen to me because it will and it does.</p>
<p>Thank you again</p>
<p>William</p>
Staff
2017-10-30T17:58:00Z
A Lesson in Kindness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Lesson-in-Kindness/-182672168741226644.html
2017-10-30T17:57:00Z
2017-10-30T17:57:00Z
<p>My 5 year old grandson attends a Catholic school. His Mother came to pick him up and noticed a Dad was removing the pink polo type shirt his son had been dressed in that day. The little boy was crying.</p>
<p>My daughter in law asked, "Mike, why are you crying" and he responded the boys in the class had make fun of him for wearing the pink shirt. My daughter in law said, "I hope my son was not one of those boys." Mike told her indeed he had made fun of Mike. My daughter in law then verified with the teacher what had happened and made her plan to teach my grandson a leason.</p>
<p>My grandson had his own pink polo shirt at home and my daughter in law made him wear it to school the next day. He also had to apologize to Mike and given him a big hug. My grandson also received some teasing about his pink shirt at school. Hopefully he learned a leason about kindness and not hurting the feelings of others.</p>
<p>Kathy </p>
Staff
2017-10-30T17:57:00Z
Appreciating The Most Important Person In My Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Appreciating-The-Most-Important-Person-In-My-Life/-201627418823815625.html
2017-10-27T17:58:00Z
2017-10-27T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><span>Dr. Laura changed my life many years ago. I was an outside salesman, driving from account to account. I used to listen to Dr. Laura every day. She would take calls from people and help them with their relationships with their spouses. <br /><br />I remember her saying, put on a nice outfit, have dinner ready, hand him or her their favorite drink when they come home. Ask your spouse, what can I do to make your life better today? Thanks to Dr. Laura, I have been doing all of those things and more for the last 18 years for my spouse. After everything my spouse does for me, I am always looking for more things to do for him. He goes to work every day, puts a roof over our head, puts food on the table, and is saving for not only his retirement but from mine. <br /><br />Dr. Laura has taught me how to love, care for and show appreciation for the most important person in my life. I will forever be in her debt and I am so grateful to her. <br /><br /><br />Thank you.</span></p>
Staff
2017-10-27T17:58:00Z
Thank You For My Lego Validation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You-For-My-Lego-Validation/271292826562377262.html
2017-10-27T17:57:00Z
2017-10-27T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><span>My granddaughters are self-proclaimed Lego Masters. My lovely dining room table will never host another dinner because it is completely overtaken with Lego. The older one builds them and the younger one destroys. Today I rebuilt the "<em>Frozen Castle</em>" and actually had all the pieces. I got in my car and tuned into your program and heard you talk about building the Star Wars vehicle. So crazy and timely. <br /><br />Rebuilding the castle by myself was a very therapeutic and engaging process and then to hear you talk about the same thing was as they used to say "<em>cosmic</em>". I think Legos are an amazing toy regardless of one's age and I am feeling very validated that they have the Dr. Laura stamp of approval!!</span></p>
Staff
2017-10-27T17:57:00Z
Kicked it up a Notch
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Kicked-it-up-a-Notch/159439587440354309.html
2017-10-26T17:58:00Z
2017-10-26T17:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I listened to you on XM for a while and couldn't believe how straight and narrow your comments were. Some of them offended me (I realize you still get a bit appalled sometimes, but, hey, that's part of being educated). I commented to a few people that you were unbelievable and I'm no china doll, no southern belle… THEN, I started quoting you, once in a while, then, constantly, THEN I just adopted your same philosophy, and I now think very much like you and speak very much like you as far as cutting to the chase. You put me over the top, Dr Laura, and I'M just as hard on myself as I am on anyone else...it's a better life now.</p>
<p>Thank you from the bottom of my heart.</p>
<p>Carolyn</p>
Staff
2017-10-26T17:58:00Z
A True Awakening
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-True-Awakening/-507167876131546597.html
2017-10-26T17:58:00Z
2017-10-26T17:58:00Z
<p>I just want to thank you. I know I am "late" in reading your books "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” and “…Feeding of Marriage,” but I can honestly say better late than never.</p>
<p>It has been a rough road the past year for me and my family. I was going through what I call a "feminist phase" driven and fueled by negative friends and family as well as my own resentments and insecurities. I filed for divorce thinking it was the thing to do without even consulting my husband on how I was feeling. Long story short, my time being separated from him made me realize how stupid and wrong I had been and just how much our daughters need him home. I dismissed the divorce, we went to marriage counseling and he eventually moved back home.<br /> <br />I now try to spend every day showing him how much his slaying of dragons means to me and he is truly my hero. I still fight my insecurities on a daily basis but I am no longer constantly nagging him for the constant reassurance of his love and approval or resenting my position in the home as a stay at home mom.<br /> <br />Thank you Dr Laura for giving the gift of a true awakening...</p>
<p>Jane</p>
Staff
2017-10-26T17:58:00Z
Men vs. Boys
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Men-vs.-Boys/-270612796088207428.html
2017-10-25T17:58:00Z
2017-10-25T17:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr Laura</p>
<p>As a Facebook user I see lots of feminist posts. My granddaughter's step-father (her father, my son died 7 years ago) posted this on his page. I was impressed, and wanted to share it with you. Sounds like something YOU would say!</p>
<p>Boys ask questions… Men give answers!!! <br />Boys play house… Men build homes!!! <br />Boys shack up… Men get married!!! <br />Boys make babies… Men raise children!!! <br />A boy won't raise his own children… A man will raise his and someone else's!!! <br />Boys invent excuses for failure… Men produce strategies for success!!! <br />Boys look for somebody to take care of them… Men look for someone to take care of!!! <br />Boys seek popularity… Men demand respect and know how to give it!</p>
<p>In support of the hard working family men and good fathers out there...The Real Men!!"</p>
<p>God Bless you for keeping me grounded!</p>
<p>Deb</p>
Staff
2017-10-25T17:58:00Z
I Have a New Attitude
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Have-a-New-Attitude/-81716900412315389.html
2017-10-25T17:57:00Z
2017-10-25T17:57:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I just want to thank you for your books. I just read The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands... And In Praise of Stay at Home Moms... And Parenthood by Proxy.</p>
<p>Dr Laura, I've been at home with my 8 month old since he was born. I felt so stupid about it, given that everyone looks at this with shame and pressures me to work, including both my parents, sister and husband. My dad said it was imperative for me to find employment immediately. Right now we're surviving fine with my husband's teacher salary.</p>
<p>I just want to say thank you!!!! Because you are the first person I know who accepts moms like us. I really thought I was alone. I was even embarrassed to be seen with my boy. Thanks to you, I feel more confident about my life.</p>
<p>I've turned my whole attitude around since I read your books. My husband and I have improved our relationship given that the word divorce was spoken just in July.</p>
<p>Thanks so much. You're my hero! I still face issues, but I'm following your advice and really hoping for the best.</p>
<p>G.</p>
Staff
2017-10-25T17:57:00Z
Expecting More From Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Expecting-More-From-Me/-279492133060522136.html
2017-10-24T17:58:00Z
2017-10-24T17:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I owe you my new life. You are the ONLY person who told me there are no excuses for being overweight. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia AND PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) when I was 20, plus I have a history of genetic obesity. Over the years I gradually gained more and more weight and even my own family would excuse my weight gain saying it's not my fault, genetics and PCOS made me gain more than average people and fibromyalgia made exercise too painful.</p>
<p>Last November I heard you telling a caller that you just need to start eating less and moving more. Well, at the weight I was, it really did hurt too much to exercise (I was 205 lbs. at 5.8), but I could eat less. I tracked calories and started eating more veggies and less junk. In 9 months, I had lost 50 lbs. This last month I started exercising and found I was much less sore now that I no longer carried around all that extra weight. I now go 5 times a week for a full 60 minute class, plus I am eating more healthy than I ever have. I am no longer a victim of my circumstances. I will break the 150 mark in the next few weeks, a weight I have not seen for 10 years and I am THRILLED. Thank you for expecting more from me than I expected from myself.</p>
<p>Sharon</p>
Staff
2017-10-24T17:58:00Z
Maintenance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Maintenance/-775158042938292014.html
2017-10-24T17:57:00Z
2017-10-24T17:57:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am where I am now because of you and a dear friend along the way of 11 years. I found myself slipping lately due to the economy and my career. So, I thrust my head into my books hunting for <em>Bad Childhood - Good Life</em>. My thirst to find it was almost comical. With an enormous deep sigh, I sank into my comfort chair and reread this book. I felt the strength wrap me in glory again. When I reread the book, it was so comforting to see the growth and the pride I have in my wonderful quality of life. Demons do tread and they don't tread lightly.</p>
<p>Why did I find myself hunting for strength? I was finding myself short in answers, impatient and flustered. My son said, "Mom, did you take your Thyroid pill today?" I just needed to get my power back.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>P.</p>
Staff
2017-10-24T17:57:00Z
Making The Most Of My Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-The-Most-Of-My-Life/913736657689105738.html
2017-10-23T17:58:00Z
2017-10-23T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I enjoy listening to your show daily from my office at work. It seems that the phone hardly rings, and no one chooses to come into my office until after 2:00 p.m. when I am trying to get my daily fix of Dr. Laura. <br /><br />I wanted to drop you a line and let you know how much you help me, inspire me, lift me up and make me laugh. You make me see things from many different perspectives. It opens my eyes and gives me strength not to be a limp chick, and to try my best to "<em>go do the right thing</em>" each day! <br /><br />Every morning, I ask myself, "<em>how do you want to live from now until dead?</em>" This short 10-word sentence motivates me to push toward my goals. My life may not always be a bowl of cherries. I have some things ahead of me to face, but I DO know what I want from now until dead, and I have you to thank for that! <br /><br />Love and thanks </p>
Staff
2017-10-23T17:58:00Z
Keeping Focused On The Big Picture
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-Focused-On-The-Big-Picture/-482421566365699841.html
2017-10-23T17:57:00Z
2017-10-23T17:57:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />On the drive home the other night I was listening to your book,<em> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding Of Husbands</a></em>. As I pulled in to the driveway at 12:30 am I realized that my husband had turned the light off in the garage. The wiring to the light is the same as the door. I didn't have my house keys on me and it was pouring down rain. I had to walk around to the backyard while getting barked at by my dogs and yelled at by my sleeping geese. The best part is that I had to crawl through the dog door. To say the least, I wasn't exactly happy about my adventure. <br /><br />From listening to your book, it was hard to be mad at him. it's not like I've never made a mistake that has caused him to work harder to fix it. Like the time, I flushed a clump of dead grass down the toilet. Which caused it to plug up and he had to take the entire thing apart to fix it. Although I was mad at the moment, when I looked at the big picture, a one time crawl through the dog door really isn't that bad. So I left him a note asking him to please leave the light on for me. <br /><br />When I told him this morning, how I got into the house he laughed and laughed and apologized. Thank you for teaching me to look at the big picture and not to be so serious all the time.
Staff
2017-10-23T17:57:00Z
Doggie Daycare
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Doggie-Daycare/156528913404411432.html
2017-10-18T17:58:00Z
2017-10-18T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr.Laura, <br /><br />I listen to your show every day on the ride home from school with my 2 boys. This morning my 9-year-old and I were snuggling on the couch with the family dog. <br /><br />We were discussing an upcoming family vacation. I mentioned that the dog had to go to the vet so he could get shots that the doggie daycare center required. My son turned to me with a look of horror and said "<em>But mom, we can't leave him in daycare! Dr. Laura says he won't be loved all day!</em>" <br /><br />I assured him you would make an exception for dogs but he doesn't believe me!</p>
Staff
2017-10-18T17:58:00Z
Between Now & Dead
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Between-Now--Dead/-316372014157790934.html
2017-10-18T17:58:00Z
2017-10-18T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Have been listening to you for 30+ years and have always lived by your "<em>do the right thing</em>" motto/mantra in all of what life throws at me. I also love, love, love the "what do you want "<em>between now and dead</em>" line! I have recently been dealing with a recurrent brain tumor. I have lost my sight and I remind myself daily what do I want on this day, just in case it is my last. <br /><br />So thank you for all of your wisdom, your witticisms, and your constant dedication to all of us regular people. I do have a shot at a clinical trial in another city and have been weighing the options of moving after being where I live now for 26 years. So what do I want between now and dead is the first thing in my head every morning upon awakening. You are right there in my ear not screaming, just a nice nag! <br /><br /> Thank you for being always on my shoulder pushing me ever so gently. </p>
Staff
2017-10-18T17:58:00Z
Bad Childhood, Great Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bad-Childhood,-Great-Life/-54926972076031993.html
2017-10-17T17:58:00Z
2017-10-17T17:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I read your book "Bad Childhood Good Life", and wanted to tell you how much it has helped me.</p>
<p>I am a product of an affair my mother had on her first husband. I have 12 half brothers and sisters, but only grew up knowing 3 of them (the three from her first marriage). My mother divorced and remarried my step father when I was 4. She shipped my 2 sisters and brother away to live with their bio dad and sent me away to boarding school for a couple years so they could travel. My step father was very verbally abusive and eventually sexually abusive. My mother, never having a job, did nothing to protect me and allowed it to continue for her own financial reasons, I guess.</p>
<p>I moved out at 17 and had some very bad relationships before meeting my now husband of 17 years. I am very blessed to have been given a wonderful, honest man who has given us 3 beautiful children.</p>
<p>My step father has had many affairs on my mother and recently had another (he is 77 years old). She continues to do nothing about it. I have recently cut him out of my life and my mother can't understand why I won't allow my kids, daughters 10, 12 and son 14, to be around him. She goes behind my back and tells them he loves them and would never do anything to hurt them. She didn't protect her own child from him why would my kids be any different? When I remind her of the things he did to me she tells me I'm lying and doesn't remember. She believes he was a good addition to the family. My siblings say I need to move on to keep peace in the family.</p>
<p>After reading your book I know now I do not have to be around toxic people and my # 1 priority is my husband and kids. I have stopped the cycle of abuse and will no longer accept abusive behavior from my "family". I am much happier surrounding myself with loving, healthy people/relationships. I can't thank you enough Dr. Laura for your advice and helping me and others stick to our morals. Keep up the great work!</p>
<p>L</p>
Staff
2017-10-17T17:58:00Z
Lucky to Have a Wife Like You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lucky-to-Have-a-Wife-Like-You/-608877705536518675.html
2017-10-17T17:57:00Z
2017-10-17T17:57:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My husband is in the military and is only allowed to write me letters and call maybe once every two weeks. Even though I am so proud of him and his service I started feeling a little disconnected, lonely, and resentful, but then I read your book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". <br /><br />I got to go see my husband for a weekend and I became his girlfriend with way more benefits. I just received a letter from him (the first one I've gotten since our weekend together) and it said "I had such a good time this past weekend. I love you. I still can't believe how I got so lucky in this world to have a wife like you. You are the sexiest woman in the whole world. THE WAY YOU LOVE, MAKES ME WORK HARDER TO BE A BETTER MAN TO YOU." Sounds like something right out of your book! So instead of resenting him for his job and being away, I started treating him like the REAL MAN he is...he is my provider and, not only my protector, but part of this Country's.</p>
<p>Thank you for all you do.</p>
<p>C.</p>
Staff
2017-10-17T17:57:00Z
Next Time I'll Choose Wisely
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Next-Time-Ill-Choose-Wisely/-476957668568064906.html
2017-10-16T17:58:00Z
2017-10-16T17:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I have just read your book "<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Stupid-Things-Women-Their-Lives/dp/0060976497" target="_blank"><em>10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives</em></a>."</p>
<p>Well, I was one of those naive girls waiting and hoping for the guy to change. I am so thankful and blessed to have ended that relationship.</p>
<p>I dated the guy for 3 years, he seemed like Prince Charming - little did I know. He lied to me about his whole life. In the beginning, I even broke up with him because I got that "you're not telling me everything" feeling. Somehow we ended up getting back together and little did I know there were 2 children (soon to be 3) involved all from different mothers. During our break up, he went to Vegas got married to one of the baby's mammas and got her name tattooed on his finger. He lied to me about everything; he was angry; emotionally, verbally, and physically abusive, but I still just "loved" him so much. I was blind.</p>
<p>A few months ago my Zumba teacher had a conversation with me that many friends had with me prior: "You are not going to marry him. He is not for you. He has too much baggage and you will end up in divorce. You need to read this book by Dr. Laura…" I bought your book and read it over the next 2 weeks. Every time I read it, I felt more and more powerful. He has moved out and we are done. WOW, I can not even tell you how blessed I am to be out of that relationship.</p>
<p>I wanted to thank you, you are an amazing woman, your book was empowering and inspiring. I want other women to know there is a way out and it is possible. I never thought there was, I felt like I was stuck in a big black hole, and now I'm out and can finally see how terrible that relationship was. Yes, I am hurt and have anxiety but the healing process has begun and I am ever so thankful.</p>
<p>God Bless,</p>
<p>T.</p>
Staff
2017-10-16T17:58:00Z
What I Want to be When I Grow Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-I-Want-to-be-When-I-Grow-Up/-232046149589707970.html
2017-10-16T17:57:00Z
2017-10-16T17:57:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>When I was growing up, to earn my weekly allowance, my dad used to have me write an essay. One week, he assigned me to write about what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote a paper about how I wanted to be a housewife and stay at home mom. He gave me the paper back and said it wasn't acceptable. He made me re-write it, choosing a "<em>real career</em>". Just to get my allowance, I wrote what he wanted; I knew he wanted me to be a lawyer as he was. But, I never forgot how mad that made me. By the way, when I had my kids, I did become a stay at home mom, and it has been the best thing I have ever done in my life. I have 2 fantastic children who reflect my (and my husband's) values.</p>
<p>You are the best Dr. Laura. Keep telling the truth,</p>
<p>J.<br />My Kids Mom too!</p>
Staff
2017-10-16T17:57:00Z
Changed Careers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changed-Careers/-814326706991890063.html
2017-10-13T17:58:00Z
2017-10-13T17:58:00Z
<p>I'm a stay-at-home Mom. (Thank goodness.) I been a listener since my late twenties (I'm circling 50 now). When my husband I got married, we agreed, if we were ever blessed with children, I would change careers and be a mommy instead. Listening to you further backed up my resolve.</p>
<p>After ten years of marriage, we were blessed with a beautiful little boy. My friends thought I was crazy to leave a government job after 17 years to raise our child, but I heard you in the back of my mind and pressed forward. I only wavered after 9/11 (my son was just two-months-old) because I felt guilty not being at my job and serving my country. I decided staying home and raising a well adjusted member of society was a better service to my country and I stayed strong.</p>
<p>In April of 2004, my husband passed away from a freak accident at work. My son was just 2 and a half. I don't know how we could have managed if I was still working. My son had me at home as always; someone he could rely on being there. I had a routine and someone to wake up for each day. It has been a struggle, but I see a self-confident almost ten-year-old coming home each day from school and I know I did the right thing; I can't imagine who and how he would be if I was at work.</p>
<p>Thanks for your back up. I am thankful I am my kid's mom.</p>
<p>Debra</p>
Staff
2017-10-13T17:58:00Z
Easy to Love Him
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Easy-to-Love-Him/897012290691259329.html
2017-10-13T17:58:00Z
2017-10-13T17:58:00Z
<p>When I first met my husband, I said to myself, “What a goof!” Silly me, I fell in love. Now I laugh every day.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for decades of wise counsel. Your radio show and books opened my eyes, ears, and heart. Over time I heeded to your marriage advice: choose wisely and treat kindly. When I married my husband, I married his family of 2 young adult children. When I said “I do,” I fully agreed to not having babies. I chose to invest in my husband, his son, and his daughter. I have had no regrets. Their love has blessed me. Of course, I took my time with my decision to marry and took pre-marital counseling with my husband. During this time I realized I didn't need to be married to be fulfilled. However, I chose to marry my best friend because I wanted to laugh, love, and grow with him. We just celebrated our eighth anniversary.</p>
<p>Our first three years were emotionally challenging. I cried a lot. It was during this time I read your book, “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.” Wow! It was amazing how quickly our lives moved in a positive motion once I changed my habits. You guided me to be quiet, listen well, and play more. I learned to hear how I was received no matter my intent. I silenced my fearful “what ifs." Then, I poured on the small showers of affection. My passion was food to my husband's being. Now, he eagerly moves mountains for me. Being married to my husband has made me a better person. I adore how easy it is to love him. Two years ago my husband's daughter and son said to me, “We like who our Dad is when he is with you.” My heart jumped for joy.</p>
<p>I am so grateful to be my husband's girlfriend. He is my Sunshine. He lights up my world and keeps me giggling.</p>
<p>M.</p>
Staff
2017-10-13T17:58:00Z
Lessons for Raising Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lessons-for-Raising-Kids/712062121563241365.html
2017-10-12T17:58:00Z
2017-10-12T17:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>In the early 1990's, (my then) shack-up honey and I started listening to you. We were raising (my now) husband's, 10 year old daughter. I immediately loved your program and listened everyday. Both of us were so confused in raising a 10 year old. From you we learned: <br />1) kids don't own anything while they are still in our care. <br />2) As parents, we have the right to search their room if we believe there is reason for it. 3) When they dispute discipline and consequences, because of their wrong choices, there is no reason for arguing as we are the parents and they are the child.<br />4) We learned from you, a child needs to feel loved and secure, so we got married to give his daughter – now OUR daughter – security, my commitment to her, and stability.</p>
<p>Dr Laura, I’m thankful for you because she is now a 30 year old mother who embraced true principles and fundamental values we learned from you and your callers problems and dilemmas and our course our faith in God. If only I had heard you when I was raising my son who is now 40 years old.</p>
<p>Thank you for all you contribute to society about values and truth! I now put all I've learned from you in practice with my grandkids!</p>
<p>D.</p>
Staff
2017-10-12T17:58:00Z
Changed Careers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changed-Careers/222858430667132590.html
2017-10-12T17:57:00Z
2017-10-12T17:57:00Z
<p>I'm a stay-at-home Mom. (Thank goodness.) I been a listener since my late twenties (I'm circling 50 now). When my husband I got married, we agreed, if we were ever blessed with children, I would change careers and be a mommy instead. Listening to you further backed up my resolve.</p>
<p>After ten years of marriage, we were blessed with a beautiful little boy. My friends thought I was crazy to leave a government job after 17 years to raise our child, but I heard you in the back of my mind and pressed forward. I only wavered after 9/11 (my son was just two-months-old) because I felt guilty not being at my job and serving my country. I decided staying home and raising a well adjusted member of society was a better service to my country and I stayed strong.</p>
<p>In April of 2004, my husband passed away from a freak accident at work. My son was just 2 and a half. I don't know how we could have managed if I was still working. My son had me at home as always; someone he could rely on being there. I had a routine and someone to wake up for each day. It has been a struggle, but I see a self-confident almost ten-year-old coming home each day from school and I know I did the right thing; I can't imagine who and how he would be if I was at work.</p>
<p>Thanks for your back up. I am thankful I am my kid's mom.</p>
<p>Debra</p>
Staff
2017-10-12T17:57:00Z
Halloween Memories
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Halloween-Memories/-70578757201424184.html
2017-10-11T17:58:00Z
2017-10-11T17:58:00Z
<p>Thought these Halloween stories from listeners were great for sharing...</p>
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am 53 years old and remember Halloween as a simple time to enjoy oneself and one's family with a classic fall trick-or-treating. Halloween costumes were handmade; often items were gotten from the closet. If you lacked creativity, Dad could always make you into a hobo. You see, that was your choice. This was done with kindness and immense consideration.</p>
<p>Right before we went trick-or-treating, Dad would burn the end of a cork and apply that to darken our faces for beards. We would sit on a stool in the garage while he did this. That by far was my favorite part of Halloween -- that dad could make you into a hobo with stuff found in the closet and the kindness of the charcoal application -- that moment of just me and Dad in the garage putting on the final touches for Halloween is by far the most memorial.</p>
<p>Kind regards,</p>
<p>Ellen</p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>I used to work at a university where students were given jobs in the staff offices. One year for Halloween, my husband was going to be out of town so I had no one to help hand out candy at our house while I took the kids trick-or-treating. Since my son doesn't like chocolate, I made a deal with a student worker that he could have the candy my kids didn't want if he would take them trick-or-treating. Not only did he agree to the gig, he came dressed in costume...as a nun! Almost 10 years later, our family is still in touch with the student worker whom my kids affectionately still call, "Sister Jeff!"</p>
<p>Patty</p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>When my daughter was 3.5 yrs. old I created a costume for her of Raggedy Ann. We painted her face and made hair using a headband and a lot of red yarn. She looked fabulous with her blue pinafore, white tights and black patent leather shoes. I was so excited and said, "You look just like Raggedy Ann!!" She looked me in the eye with wide-eyed wonder for a moment, and then replied "No Mommy - I <strong>am</strong> Raggedy Ann!" It cracked me up how thoroughly she got into character!</p>
<p>She is now a remarkable 23-year-old woman.</p>
<p>Now you have a great day!</p>
<p>Kathleen</p>
Staff
2017-10-11T17:58:00Z
Old? What's That?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Old-Whats-That/714466083000292194.html
2017-10-11T17:57:00Z
2017-10-11T17:57:00Z
<p><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></p>
<p class="yiv0384180479msoplaintext">Hi Dr. Laura.</p>
<p class="yiv0384180479msoplaintext">Just returned from a trip to Iceland where I rode Icelandic horses for three days in the driving rain and howling wind. I suggested a caving experience to my 3 travel mates and we explored a "lava tube" which we had to belly crawl through in sections and crab walk through in others.</p>
<p class="yiv0384180479msoplaintext">I am home now and catching up on podcasts. Heard the 58-year-old woman who was ashamed to state her age. I had my kids in my late 30s, raised 'em, launched 'em, cried a bit and then rediscovered my passion for horses. I bought one and live a GREAT life.</p>
<p class="yiv0384180479msoplaintext">I am 61. My travel mates to Iceland were 31, 31 and 34. I had no more difficulty than they and cannot understand this BS about not giving your age. My patients with terminal cancer would LOVE to say they are 58 or 40, or 60. Or any other age at all! <em>I have learned from these patients that every day on this side of the turf without huge suffering is a great one, filled with possibilities.</em> Please people...life is such a gift! Celebrate each passing year and announce it proudly. You have earned each of those years and the right to celebrate!!</p>
<p class="yiv0384180479msoplaintext">Keep setting the peeps straight on this, Dr Laura. You aren't old until you act old!</p>
<p class="yiv0384180479msoplaintext">Doris</p>
<p class="yiv0384180479msoplaintext"> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-10-11T17:57:00Z
Learning One Day At A Time
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-One-Day-At-A-Time/59259724331161791.html
2017-10-10T17:58:00Z
2017-10-10T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br />I have been married for a little over a year and been with my husband for almost 5 years. I am a nanny and tend to spill over my nanny hood, or in other words, I find myself 'mothering' my husband sometimes. He also has expressed to me that I treat him like I am his mom. I hate hearing that because I want him to know that I do support him and that he is capable to live his own life. I struggle with nitpicking and I've been listening to you. I get it. I get it that it's not up to me what or how my husband thinks.<br /><br />He does such a great job taking care of me, putting me first, which shows he is selfless. I know he puts his needs last and I don't want him to do that. So by listening to your podcasts and reading your blog posts, it has given me some clarity on the words and thoughts I express to him. I am an old-fashioned kinda girl and I love how you describe how relationships these days are so careless and more about electronics instead. I went onto Amazon and bought your book. Looking forward to reading it and learning how to feed my husbands manhood and soul. <br /><br />Thank you, soo much for all your advice and honesty. I'm always learning one day or thought at a time! <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br /><br />Karry</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-10-10T17:58:00Z
Conversations With Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Conversations-With-Dr.-Laura/271169564457461794.html
2017-10-10T17:57:00Z
2017-10-10T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I thought you would really appreciate two conversations in my family this week.<br /><br /><strong><strong>Conversation #1 </strong><em> - </em>Between my 4-year-old niece and her Daddy, my brother </strong><br />Niece: <em>Daddy what do you listen to on the radio?</em> <br />Daddy: <em>80' music </em><br />Niece : <em>and Mommy?</em> <br />Daddy: <em>80's too </em><br />Niece: <em>No Daddy! She listens to Dr. Laura !!!!!!! </em><br /><br /><br /><strong><strong>Conversation #2 </strong><em> - </em>Between My 17-year-old daughter and I in the car</strong><br /><br />Daughter: "<em>MOM</em>,<em> why do we have to listen to Dr. </em>Laura? It's<em> like listening to you </em>24/7! <em>Can we please listen to music</em>? <br /><br />THAT WAS ONE OF THE BEST COMPLIMENTS EVER! I sounded like Dr. Laura? I must be doing something correctly !!!! THANK YOU for all you have done for me through the 28 years I have listened to you. We are so fortunate to have you. You give me strength EVERY DAY to do the right thing! I have lots of friends who are American Ninja Warriors - we need one for you to compete in or maybe just a Lego competition? Legos would be MUCH safer: Keep being you! <br /><br />THANK YOU</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-10-10T17:57:00Z
Lifted My Spirits
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lifted-My-Spirits/907378497072629063.html
2017-10-09T17:58:00Z
2017-10-09T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br />Good Morning. <br /><br />Thank-you so much for one of your suggestions I heard on your program: If you are depressed, load up you iPod with happy songs and it will lift your spirits. Not sure of the exact quote, but you get the picture. <br /><br />I am a 68-year-old wife and mother. My husband has been in law enforcement for 40 years and 2 of our 3 sons are also in law enforcement. The other is overseas in not the best place in the world. Twelve years ago, we moved away from our lifetime home town for a new job and I have missed family and friends terribly. I have also had serious health issues for several years and on top of things, my 99-year-old mother just passed away. <br /><br />I am usually a very positive, upbeat person and was surprised I was feeling so down. I took a long look at my life and realized I had been through several tough things. When I was able to recognize why I was feeling the way I was, the idea of some of my favorite songs on an iPod sounded like the ticket I needed. I am not saying all is cured, but I can say I have so much to be thankful for and listening to upbeat music has helped a great deal. I won't mention all the songs I have downloaded, but there is one: Taylor Swift's "Shake It Off", the song the police officer was singing in his car. His dancing made me smile so much, I had to add it to my list. <br /><br />I have listened to you for years and to be frank, happy I have not really had the need to call, but hearing you speak to others obviously has helped me. So thank-you, thank-you for your wonderful service to others! You are the best... <br /><br />Jane</p>
Staff
2017-10-09T17:58:00Z
This is NOT a Sacrifice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/This-is-NOT-a-Sacrifice/460128975641092131.html
2017-10-09T17:57:00Z
2017-10-09T17:57:00Z
<br /><br />My first career was a stay-at-home mom. My husband and I chose wisely and still treat each other kindly, everyday, 27 years and still going. We chose to build a family with me as the stay-at-home mom and never looked at that choice as a sacrifice. I never thought of it as a sacrifice. When people say they SACRIFICE to stay at home with their children I wonder what is the matter with them! Of course there are sacrifices. I would have loved to go out for lunch or gone shopping the few days when all three kids and the dog were throwing up. But, I didn't. When you have kids, you sign up for a job that demands a lot of tireless effort, patience and devotion to the family including being your husband's girlfriend. How could this be news to anyone? I loved the job and am reaping the benefits as my adult children call often and enjoy visiting! Looking forward to grandchildren someday. <br /><br />Sheri<br />
Staff
2017-10-09T17:57:00Z
I Guess We Were 'Meant to Be'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Guess-We-Were-Meant-to-Be/631036999926272858.html
2017-10-06T17:58:00Z
2017-10-06T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br />I met my husband 15 years ago and the way we met, still gives me chills. <br /><br />I was working full-time at a tech corporation and my male co-worker became a very good friend. He wanted my opinion on a single-family home he was thinking of purchasing. I told him the house was a great buy in a great community. Eventually, he bought the house. <br /><br />Months later, he told me about the wonderful neighbors he had and could not say enough about them. He asked me if I would be interested in a blind date with a guy the neighbors knew. I told him "no". I guess I wasn't very convincing because my co-worker hounded me to go on a date with this guy for about 2 years. <br /><br />In the meantime, I decided to try my hand at telephone dating, this was before online dating. Same kind of concept. Trust me, it was depressing. I found out most people lied about their physical descriptions; as well as their true professions. On my last day of doing this, a guy I had spoken with about one month prior wanted to talk again. With a bad attitude, I agreed. He didn't believe me when I said we'd talked before. Begrudgingly, I met him at a local joint for iced tea. To be honest, I mostly listened while he talked, and it was delightful. After several hours, he walked me to my car. <br /><br />We were dating for several months when my co-worker called me and asked if I was sitting. He stated the guy I was dating is the same guy he had tried to set me up with for 2 years! But that wasn't all, his wonderful neighbors happen to be the guy's sister and brother-in-law! They were tired of the type of girls he had been dating and wanted someone of substance for him. My co-worker offered my name and the rest is history. We married 14 years ago. <br /><br />Donna</p>
Staff
2017-10-06T17:58:00Z
Old? What's That?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Old-Whats-That/160448758664054487.html
2017-10-06T17:57:00Z
2017-10-06T17:57:00Z
<p><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></p>
<p class="yiv0384180479msoplaintext">Hi Dr. Laura.</p>
<p class="yiv0384180479msoplaintext">Just returned from a trip to Iceland where I rode Icelandic horses for three days in the driving rain and howling wind. I suggested a caving experience to my 3 travel mates and we explored a "lava tube" which we had to belly crawl through in sections and crab walk through in others.</p>
<p class="yiv0384180479msoplaintext">I am home now and catching up on podcasts. Heard the 58-year-old woman who was ashamed to state her age. I had my kids in my late 30s, raised 'em, launched 'em, cried a bit and then rediscovered my passion for horses. I bought one and live a GREAT life.</p>
<p class="yiv0384180479msoplaintext">I am 61. My travel mates to Iceland were 31, 31 and 34. I had no more difficulty than they and cannot understand this BS about not giving your age. My patients with terminal cancer would LOVE to say they are 58 or 40, or 60. Or any other age at all! <em>I have learned from these patients that every day on this side of the turf without huge suffering is a great one, filled with possibilities.</em> Please people...life is such a gift! Celebrate each passing year and announce it proudly. You have earned each of those years and the right to celebrate!!</p>
<p class="yiv0384180479msoplaintext">Keep setting the peeps straight on this, Dr Laura. You aren't old until you act old!</p>
<p class="yiv0384180479msoplaintext">Doris</p>
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<p> </p>
Staff
2017-10-06T17:57:00Z
Learning From My Challenges
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-From-My-Challenges/939691114174116597.html
2017-10-05T17:58:00Z
2017-10-05T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My childhood gave me many challenges. I guess the thing I gained was courage. I have faced all the challenges and refused to give up even when the foundation of my upbringing challenged me most. <br /><br />Through the years I have listened very intently to what you say to your callers and listened to the logic behind it. I used to think you were harsh then I realized your kindness. You are kind enough to try and make a difference in a very small amount of time on a telephone call so you have to cut through the nonsense in a hurry to get the caller heading in a better direction. Through the years I did not have the benefit of parents that made good decisions to help me through life. I was so determined to marry a good man and raise my children with a chance to do well in life. I did. <br /><br />It is true when you have to dig out of a hole to just be on equal ground with those around you success looks different, not less just different.Thank you for your kindness. I appreciate you from the bottom of my heart.<br /><br />Trudy</p>
Staff
2017-10-05T17:58:00Z
I Thought I Was Right
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Thought-I-Was-Right/329926947455681603.html
2017-10-05T17:57:00Z
2017-10-05T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br />I've been listening for two years, I have made adjustments in all of my relationships after listening to you; all for the better. I honestly thought I was doing everything 100% right in my marriage. I had the opportunity to listen to your audiobook "<em><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/pg/jsp/community/bookdetail.jsp?detID=-950235365937463723" target="_blank">The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands</a></em>". I put my headphones in and started cleaning the house while listening to you, and then it happened. <br /><br />I started recognizing myself in many of the situations you were mentioning. It truly was an "<em>aha</em>" moment for me. How could I have thought I was being so right when I was doing so much wrong? The biggest thing I have been doing wrong for the past 20 years was expecting way too much out him and expecting him to read my mind. I was setting him up to fail in the romance department over and over. <br /><br />When my husband steps foot in the door tonight he will get a loving hug and kiss from his wife with a new outlook on her marriage. <br /><br />Thanks again Dr. Laura!</p>
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Staff
2017-10-05T17:57:00Z
I Want More Books
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Want-More-Books/139369060800616447.html
2017-10-04T17:58:00Z
2017-10-04T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Thank you for being who you are. I have read almost every one of your books. I can't wait to purchase the few I haven't read. It is because of you that I am my kid's mom and my husband's girlfriend. <br /><br />My life was headed in a much different direction and then someone handed me the book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060976497/noxsolutions-20/ref=nosim" target="_blank">Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives</a></em>." It changed my life! When I was feeling sorry for myself and my difficult childhood, I picked up your other book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Bad-Childhood-Good-Life-Blossom-Childhood/dp/0060577878/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1507152662&sr=1-1&dpID=51EPylpTBlL&preST=_SY291_BO1,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=detail" target="_blank">Bad Childhood, Good Life</a></em>." I actually keep that one by my sofa at all times and read small sections whenever I'm feeling sorry for myself. I can't begin to tell you what you have done for me and my family! Thank you for all that you do! I'm eagerly awaiting more books by you! <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Janel</p>
Staff
2017-10-04T17:58:00Z
One More Starfish
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/One-More-Starfish/-263368003944454816.html
2017-10-04T17:57:00Z
2017-10-04T17:57:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I want to share an experience I had thanks to your program. Back in April, my husband and I got into a little tiff. During this discussion, he mentioned that he feels lonely because I for the most part just leave him alone. He said I'm very nice and sweet, but that I never depend on him or challenge him. He said that he needed to feel needed and that I wasn't allowing him that. <br /><br />I took what he said to heart and thought about it very carefully as I love my husband so deeply. I began reflecting. I realized after listening to you that I believed I was unlovable, hence why I didn't want to "<em>bother</em>" my husband. I went home and told my husband that I would be a better wife, spend more quality time with him and plan fun things for us to do. <br /><br />We have been much happier. I was so afraid of being a bother, and even more afraid of being like my mother was to my dad, that I had largely neglected my husband. I realized that my husband is not my mother and that I am in fact loveable. My mom is the one who missed out on spending time with me because I am actually a lovable, "<em>badass girly girl</em>" like my surrogate mom, Dr. Laura. <br /><br />I hope you know that even though some of us loyal listeners never call in, that you help us every day in ways you can probably never fathom. You haven't just saved one starfish, Dr. Laura; I think you've got about a million out there in the big blue ocean. <br /><br />With Love, <br /><br /><br />Mary <br />
Staff
2017-10-04T17:57:00Z
Common Reasons for Breakups
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Common-Reasons-for-Breakups/154724821181256273.html
2017-10-03T17:58:00Z
2017-10-03T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br />Hi Dr Laura. <br /><br />I believe too many people are looking for or getting into a relationship for too many wrong reasons. Some want to be "happy", some are afraid to be on their own, some think it gives them more meaning to their life, and some just "want" it. Most people look for "eye candy" and don't care what qualities that person possesses. Or the first person who shows them any attention, they attach themselves to only to realize they aren't the person they wish they were. They then find themselves wanting out or wanting more. This is the point at which children get hurt and lives are ruined. <br /><br />So to sum it all up, common reasons for breakups are people not appreciating who someone else is or isn't. I learned in my 52 years of life is that we need to love our spouses for who they are, but also for who they are not! Just my two cents! <br /><br />I love your program. It has formed me and made me the man I am today! Keep talking, preaching, and nagging! No words could ever thank you enough. And... you make me laugh! <br /><br />Albert</p>
Staff
2017-10-03T17:58:00Z
The Kids are Listening
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Kids-are-Listening/-371561937079917005.html
2017-10-03T17:57:00Z
2017-10-03T17:57:00Z
<p><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>You have changed my daughters' lives completely, first by waking me up to the fact that I needed to quit my 40+ hours a week job and stay home with them when they were still babies. Then by nagging, preaching and teaching them over the radio for the past 16 years.</p>
<p>This past weekend, my 16 and 18-year-old daughters got to spend some time with a cousin and her new husband of two years. When they got back home, they couldn't wait to tell me how their cousin's husband would "definitely swim through shark infested waters to bring her a lemonade!" Then they went on to say how they wanted to be married to a man like that so there would be no "shack ups" for them. I just smiled and said to myself, "Thank you Mother Laura, now I can send my oldest off to college this fall, knowing the lessons have been learned!</p>
<p>Crystal</p>
<p class="yiv8505587859msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv0328694503msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2017-10-03T17:57:00Z
Thank You To My 'Helper'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You-To-My-Helper/861253743221854763.html
2017-10-02T17:58:00Z
2017-10-02T17:58:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Let me start by saying I CANNOT GET ENOUGH OF YOU! You are an angel straight from Heaven. My dear late mother, Eloise, turned me on to you. It took some time for me to find the time to listen to your program. I was able to start listening to you around the time you started studying about Judaism. <br /><br />I am now 62 years young, and while I would love to chat with you sometime, I find myself thinking there is nothing in your "<em>black bag</em>" for this duck. What I would like to say to you, on this very sad day is something <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_Rogers" target="_blank">Mister Rogers</a> said. "<em>Look for the helpers</em>". <br /><br />While I listened to you today, October 2nd, 2017, I found myself thinking just how much YOU are a helper to mothers, fathers, and children. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.<br />
Staff
2017-10-02T17:58:00Z
Dealing With Loss
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dealing-With-Loss/373916178185188103.html
2017-10-02T17:57:00Z
2017-10-02T17:57:00Z
<br />Hi, Dr.Laura, <br /><br />I was by the way you handled the <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/programhighlights?date=20170929" target="_blank">woman who called</a> about the loss of her beloved dog. I have listened to many of your shows where parents lost their children but never have I been brought to tears like I was when she called about losing her dog. <br /><br />I am so glad you took time with her. There was such beauty in her telling us about her picnics by the lake. You were so right to recommend that she take her time and eventually adopt a new pet. <br />
Staff
2017-10-02T17:57:00Z
Growing Up With Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Growing-Up-With-Dr.-Laura/-513510454785232432.html
2017-09-29T17:58:00Z
2017-09-29T17:58:00Z
<br />Dearest Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am a 34-year-old wife and mother of 3 awesome daughters. I've been listening to you since I was a preteen and being driven to practices in my own mom's car. I vividly remember being 13, desperately wanting to turn the station and turn on whatever cool jams were topping the charts back in that day. My mother would not have it though, insisting that listening to your sage advice would ultimately be much more beneficial for us both. It was beyond frustrating back then, but In retrospect, I think she was definitely right. <br /><br />Last week I was driving my 3 girls from school to their tumbling practice. While in route, I was getting my dose of daily "<em>self-help</em>" by listening to your show. My oldest daughter (who is 10 going on 30) was in the front seat. I saw her hand start to reach for the dial out of the corner of my eye. "<em>Don't even think about it cutie pie</em>," I quickly corrected her. She retorted with an overly dramatic eye roll and annoyed sigh. I explained to her that I understood the frustration she felt about not being allowed to execute her desired listening choice; because I too was once young and fought my own mom for radio dial control. <br /><br />My mom said to me what I'm going to say to you now, "We could spend this travel time listening to the questionable lyrics of today's top 40, or we could use it to soak in some excellent wisdom about how mommy can be the best possible mommy".<br /><br />Today, we are going with the latter, and while I'm sorry she is frustrated, I have a pretty good suspicion that one day she will be a mom in the driver's seat. On that day she will appreciate and understand what her own mom decided to do today. While I doubt she was overly excited about the outcome of our discussion, I did detect a small smile forming on her face. <br /><br /><br />Much appreciation for the years of wisdom you have and will offer our family!! <br /><br />Xoxo
Staff
2017-09-29T17:58:00Z
Dating And Minor Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dating-And-Minor-Kids/59103559272204216.html
2017-09-29T17:57:00Z
2017-09-29T17:57:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Just wanted to comment on a call Dr. Laura took the other day. She was talking to a single mom with kids who had let her boyfriend move in. Dr. Laura said there is a good chance the guy could be a perv and do harm to her children. <br /><br />I just wanted to back Dr. Laura up and say that yes, that can and does happen and I'm a product of it. I experienced it first hand. <br /><br />My mom was a divorced mom who met and married her stud within 6 months and my stepfather was a disgusting pig who molested me from around the time I was in 5th grade into high school. I echo Dr. Laura's advice. Do NOT date when you have minor children and definitely don't let some man move in with you and your kids!<br />
Staff
2017-09-29T17:57:00Z
Driving Dangers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Driving-Dangers/177748287542571607.html
2017-09-28T17:58:00Z
2017-09-28T17:58:00Z
<br />I was driving and enjoying a lollipop. A small piece broke off and before I knew it I was choking while driving in the middle lane of the highway! Gasping for air that couldn't come, I managed to get to the side of the road, got out, threw myself against the trunk of my car and dislodged the piece. <br /><br />You would be happy to hear that there were two wonderful men who pulled over to see if I was ok. I feel so foolish for what I did. I am so thankful that I didn't cause an accident and was able to save myself. I wanted to share my story in case you feel it might be important enough to warn people against eating while driving. I will never do it again. I will probably never have a lollipop again either! <br /><br />Thanks again for all you do.
Staff
2017-09-28T17:58:00Z
Raising Little Gentlemen
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-Little-Gentlemen/-18770148226928684.html
2017-09-28T17:57:00Z
2017-09-28T17:57:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I'm thankful for my health, my family, wonderful friends, and the wise people in the world, like you Dr. Laura. I've been married to my fantastic husband 23 years. I am my kids mom to 4 wonderful boys. I'm incredibly fortunate to have been able to be a stay at home mom. <br /><br />I give you credit because I've been a listener over 20 years. You have reinforced time and time again what's really important in life. You have taught us that life is all about the choices we make. My youngest boys, age 11 and 14, are subjected to you every afternoon on our drive home from school. They get in the car and ask, 'Is Dr. Laura raging today or is she chill?' Ha, they've listened to you enough to know that you can be passionate and intolerant with certain callers. Yet they also get to listen to your compassion and how you reveal your heart to others. I tell my boys that no matter what, you always tell your callers to go "do the right thing". <br /><br />I've borrowed that saying. Although my older boys, 18 and 20, give me the look when I repeat that, they know that doing the right thing is important. I'm all about raising little gentlemen, it's a lot of work! Whether this gets to the air or not, just wanted you to know you've touched many lives and make a huge difference in this world. <br /><br />Thanks Dr. Laura. Thank you for your time, loyalty, honesty and the quick wit you provide day in and day out. <br /><br />May you find yourself on the water soon!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />How do you open your heart to your loved ones? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2017-09-28T17:57:00Z
How I Met My Spouse
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Met-My-Spouse/822973935165346023.html
2017-09-27T17:58:00Z
2017-09-27T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />There was a woman who worked for me, so I knew her daughter as a teen. When she was about 19, I played on a coed softball team and invited her to play as a way to meet her. After about a year of playing on the same team, I got the courage to ask her out. I decided to wait until the last game of the season so if she turned me down it wouldn't be embarrassing. Well, my plan failed because she brought a guy with her to the game. <br /><br />About a week later, she called me to ask me out, except I was going out with one of her friends so I turned her down. Her friend bailed on me so I called her house. Her mom was still working for me and because of that was reticent to give me the number where I could reach her. We went out to the San Diego County fair that night and got married 1.5 years later and are still married 28 years later. <br /><br />Mark</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-09-27T17:58:00Z
Pure Instinct
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Pure-Instinct/113087447134837101.html
2017-09-27T17:57:00Z
2017-09-27T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I'm a huge fan and just wanted to send you a short clip that's been circulating around the internet titled "Baby Girl's Reaction to First Day of School". When you see how young she is, you realize it's just a daycare and the little girl is purely acting on instinct. We innately need the bond of our parents! <br /><br />Please keep encouraging mothers to stay home with their children...you're the only one. <br /><br />Thanks so much for everything you say and do, <br /><br />Gladys</p>
<iframe frameborder="0" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/r5hDBbjhFZ8" height="315" width="560"></iframe>
Staff
2017-09-27T17:57:00Z
You Truly Care
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Truly-Care/-363845312561287431.html
2017-09-26T17:58:00Z
2017-09-26T17:58:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I listen to your podcast just about every day while working as an accountant. I just heard you read a letter from a woman who had a high-powered corporate job and gave it up to be a stay at home mom. <br /><br />I love hearing the stories about how your advice works. It's sad to see, everywhere we look nowadays, print, media, the neighbor next door, people are so lost. Thank you for being there. I love your advice and sense of humor. You truly care about helping people and the ones that REALLY listen to you. <br />
Staff
2017-09-26T17:58:00Z
My 'Jiminy Cricket' Moment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Jiminy-Cricket-Moment/187269390815490652.html
2017-09-26T17:57:00Z
2017-09-26T17:57:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I want to tell about an incident I had last week. I was at a large medical center trying to pull into a parking space they are made for toasters, not suv's. As I was turning, the right front bumper of my car hit the left rear corner of the car next to me. In my case, I knew if I had a claim my car insurance was going to raise. There was no damage to my car so I thought about just leaving and going to another parking spot. <br /><br />Right at that moment, you were on my shoulder. You were my little "<em>Jiminy Cricket</em>", saying "<em>now, do the right thing</em>". I left a note with all of my information on the windshield of the damaged car. A couple of days later I received a phone call from the owner of that car thanking me for my honesty and integrity. <br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, for helping me have the honesty and integrity to do the right thing.<br />
Staff
2017-09-26T17:57:00Z
How to Preserve a Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-to-Preserve-a-Husband/436858024735187760.html
2017-09-25T17:58:00Z
2017-09-25T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><strong>How to Preserve a Husband</strong> <br /><br />Be careful of your selection.<br />Do not choose too young.<br />When selected, give your entire thought to preparation for domestic use. <br /><br />Some wives insist on keeping them in a pickle, others are constantly getting them in hot water. This may make them sour, hard and bitter. <br /><br />Even poor varieties can be made sweet, tender and good by garnishing them with patience, well sweetened with love and seasoned with kisses. <br /><br />Wrap them in a mantle of charity.<br />Keep warm with a steady fire of devotion and serve with peaches and cream.<br />Thus prepared, they will keep for years.<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a joke you'd like to share? Tell us by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2017-09-25T17:58:00Z
My Hardest Goodbye
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Hardest-Goodbye/486059632443873387.html
2017-09-25T17:57:00Z
2017-09-25T17:57:00Z
<br /><br />I just want to cry thinking about it. I had to say goodbye to my daddy just a few months after getting engaged. It meant that he was not going to walk me down the aisle. It was so hard to hear the doctor tell us in the waiting room that they did all that they could as I had no clue his condition was life-threatening. He told nobody. I am grateful I was there to tell him I loved him before he died, but it was so painful to let him go. Nobody can ever take the place of your daddy. <br /><br />Liisa<br />
Staff
2017-09-25T17:57:00Z
Things Other Than Screens
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Things-Other-Than-Screens/-159972622958283332.html
2017-09-22T17:58:00Z
2017-09-22T17:58:00Z
<br />Our granddaughter is almost 8 years old and lives with us as her dad is in the military and her mother gave up parental rights. Our rule for screen time of any kind is a maximum of 2 hours in a day. We monitor what she watches and require that at least 50% consists of educational material. We downloaded filtering software to her tablet so she only has access to certain programs, and she cannot connect to the Internet except when we expressly permit it which is almost never. No screen time is allowed until she has done chores: folded and put away her laundry, picked up her stuff, helped with the dishes, etc. Television is not allowed during meals, or when she is doing chores otherwise she dawdles. <br /><br />As it turns out, she would much rather help me fix a meal or bake something than watch TV. She's turning out to be a darn good cook who can identify the fresh herbs I grow in my solarium by sight or smell and can tell if the "pot" needs something when we taste test. No amount of screen time can replace that. <br /><br />Along those same lines: She asked when she could have her own phone. I said, "When you get your driver's license." She asked when she could have a TV in her room. I said, "When you move into your own house and have a job." We don't have a TV in our bedroom, either. These same rules applied to her dad and aunt (our daughter) who both turned out extremely outgoing, intelligent, and self-motivated.<br /> <br />Maralyn<br />
Staff
2017-09-22T17:58:00Z
Stupid Things Women Do
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stupid-Things-Women-Do/-782533013277985786.html
2017-09-22T17:57:00Z
2017-09-22T17:57:00Z
<br />I've made every common sense and moral mistake I could make as a mother. I had two kids by two dads and divorced both. After my second divorce, I decided I would never marry again. I hated the feeling of failure and being a statistic. Then I met a man who was equally adamant about not getting married. We dated and have now shacked up together with my two kids for two years. Over time, I have discovered potential infidelity, although I cannot prove any of my "gut feelings." He convinced me to give up my career of 10 years and take a lesser paying job to be closer to home and the kids, so I am now also financially less stable than even the period following my divorce. I have realized I do not want to shack up and be another kind of statistic for the rest of my life. Also I realize I do value marriage and what it offers, but he is still adamant that he does not. My oldest has one year of school left, then enters college and the youngest will start high school. <br /> <br />To top it off, this all comes from a woman who believes deeply in Jesus Christ, has been a successful business person and raised two incredible kids. It can happen to anyone. I would never advise anyone to make the mistakes that I have made. When you plant trees, don't plant lemon trees; plant hearty, wholesome, deep rooted trees so that midway through your life you do not look back and see an orchard of little saplings, but one giant, strong oak with many hearty branches.<br /> <br />Kim<br /><br />
Staff
2017-09-22T17:57:00Z
Learning A New Way
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-A-New-Way/-88406650176054410.html
2017-09-21T17:58:00Z
2017-09-21T17:58:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I've listened to you since I was in my late twenties. I always thought you'd be so proud of me: one husband, four beautiful daughters that I stayed home to raise. <br /><br />My girl's joke that they hear your voice in the back of their heads because they were in the car with you so often. I was raised by a mother who put her parents first and I assumed that was how life worked. I'm so embarrassed by the hoops I made my dear husband jump through to please their unacceptable expectations. <br /><br />One day I heard you tell a caller she made vows to her husband, not her mother. I thought that didn't apply to me! Not me! A year later my husband and I were basically co-parenting and roommates. I got the courage to ask how he felt about the caller I heard. He got emotional. I quickly got in therapy with a woman who is your doppelganger. Now my marriage is happier at 30 years than ever before. Please keep reminding women that their vows are to their husbands. <br /><br />Thanks for changing the course of our family's life. It was not easy, but it is beyond worth it. <br /><br />Thank you thank you thank you!!<br />
Staff
2017-09-21T17:58:00Z
Talk About It Before The Commitment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Talk-About-It-Before-The-Commitment/-653504271562298713.html
2017-09-21T17:57:00Z
2017-09-21T17:57:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I appreciate your advice to couples when one person in the marriage wants children or more children and the other does not. Unfortunately, my wife and I did not talk about children before we got married. We had a girl and a boy and I was ready to be done with the thought of having additional kids. She was not. <br /><br />Through a lot of manipulation on her part, we ended up with five more children. I love all of my children, and can't imagine my life without any of them now. But, I can't get past the thought that I should be done parenting now that my second child is in college. My youngest is six years old. When my youngest child was five months old, my wife passed away very suddenly from an undiagnosed heart problem. Sometimes I get so angry with her. It happens when the kids are being difficult. I'm angry inside because she got the large family she wanted. Then she was gone and left me to raise them. Maybe that's a subject for a call one day. <br /><br />I love your advice because we never know what the future holds. I wish my wife and I would have listened to your show and taken your advice. But now I am where I am, and I am doing the best I can to be a good dad to my kids. I just hope your advice is heeded by everyone. Thank you for your wonderful show and words of wisdom! You have helped me be a better dad to my kids and have given me the strength to make it through some tough times.<br /><br />
Staff
2017-09-21T17:57:00Z
It's The Small Things That Count
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-The-Small-Things-That-Count/559816134757053685.html
2017-09-20T17:58:00Z
2017-09-20T17:58:00Z
<br />Feeling helpless and distraught as my cousin, my Big Brother was recently diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer, metastasized to the liver. He's a successful family and businessman, a truly great guy who has done so much for so many. He cannot have visitors yet as the chemo he has started has suppressed his immune system. He's in Cleveland, I'm in Philly. <br /><br />How can I help? His oldest daughter said they had to stock up on ice cream so that dad doesn't lose any more weight. Got me thinking. Went online to <a href="http://creamery.psu.edu/" target="_blank">Penn State U and the Berkey Creamery</a>, some of the best high fat, high-calorie ice cream in the world. Did you know they ship nationally? I ordered a cooler full, five half gallons in a variety of flavors. Delivered on time, frozen. He was thrilled and called me last Saturday in great humor and good spirits. We had an amazing conversation, was so good to hear his voice, a voice that is weaker, as he is going through a new kind of hell. <br /><br />It was good to know that in some small way, I was able to reach out and tell my cousin, my Big Brother, how much he means to me and how much I and all around him love him! Dr. Laura, thank you for the work you do, the teaching you provide and helping us to deal with such a hard and terrible subject. My wife thinks you are my girlfriend as I'm constantly coming home and saying, "<em>Well, on Dr. Laura today...</em>" Yes, still finding humor in our day to day crises. <br /><br />Thank you very much! <br /><br />Ken<br /><br /><br /><img src="/images/slideshow/jjnkmjrlwaoczke3.JPG" alt="" /><br /><br />
Staff
2017-09-20T17:58:00Z
YOU Need To Be There
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/YOU-Need-To-Be-There/491738521156992180.html
2017-09-20T17:57:00Z
2017-09-20T17:57:00Z
<br />Hi, Dr. Laura. <br /><br />The mother and daughter bond is special. The secret is that you need to always be working on it. Anyone who thinks they have a perfect relationship is kidding themselves. My goal has always been to keep the lines of communication open. <br /><br />At times you have to use different tricks to do this. One trick is to ask questions about school and friends when they have a good friend over. Amazing what stories you hear from them. Car rides alone is my other favorite time to talk. <br /><br /><strong>Bottom line - you need to be there. <br /><br /></strong>If you are only around an hour a day, that might not be when they are ready to talk. Being available is number one on my priority list. Be the parent that drives to volleyball. You have to do as much as possible to keep the lines of communication open.<br /> <br />
Staff
2017-09-20T17:57:00Z
Moms Need Babies, Too
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Moms-Need-Babies,-Too/613772761608206186.html
2017-09-19T17:58:00Z
2017-09-19T17:58:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /> <br />I'm a stay-at-home mom who recently started working as a lactation consultant one morning a week while my mother-in-law plays with my two little kidlets. <br /> <br />Recently, I met with a new mom of a 3-month-old baby girl. This new mom had just returned two weeks ago to a full-time job following her maternity leave. And since her return to work, she had lost the majority of her milk supply even though she was pumping regularly. To make matters worse, her baby who had been exclusively nursing, was now refusing to breastfeed. With tears in her eyes, she told me how she had planned and achieved the perfect water birth in a birthing center, chose cloth diapers instead of disposable diapers for her baby, and had been exclusively nursing her beautiful baby. She was shocked that simply returning to work had ruined her breastfeeding relationship with her baby so quickly. And with tears in my eyes, I could only give my sympathy and tell her that this situation probably could not be saved. Her daughter now preferred large volumes of milk in a bottle versus smaller feedings at the breast. And for some moms, their bodies simply need their babies to make milk - their babies cannot be replaced by even the best pump. <br /> <br />This mom had so much regret about returning to work with the knowledge that she lost the beautiful breastfeeding relationship she planned on having for at least one year. So to all the new moms-to-be out there - you are not replaceable. Not only do your babies need you, but you need your babies! Thank you Dr Laura for making me both the mom and wife that I am today! <br /> <br />Dru<br /> <br />
Staff
2017-09-19T17:58:00Z
Child's Play
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Childs-Play/99061209907162525.html
2017-09-19T17:57:00Z
2017-09-19T17:57:00Z
<br /><br />As a child in the 1950s, I did my homework first, then I got to watch TV cartoons for one hour a day. After that, I had to go out and play. We played tag football, built forts, skated, made up weird make-believe role-playing games. The deal was that I was to come home when it got dark.<br /><br />We were forbidden to go to an empty lot near the train tracks, but we did. There was a tunnel there we'd go walking up, fearing that rats would get us. We would watch for trains near the tracks and hide our faces from the conductor since we had been warned we'd go to jail for being near the train.<br /><br />We would also play cards, Monopoly, etc. Summers were spent at the beach. We had almost no media. We had books, comics, and magazines.<br /><br />I am really sorry kids now can't have the childhood I had: parents easily avoided, freedom to roam, adventures involving imaginary villains and quests. As you might have guessed, I was a total tomboy until my teens.<br /><br />These kids are going to have real trouble figuring out who they are and what they think. Their minds are never unoccupied or free from external forces.<br /> <br /><br />Barbara<br />
Staff
2017-09-19T17:57:00Z
I Could Have Been The Ex-Wife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Could-Have-Been-The-Ex-Wife/-179054200835998809.html
2017-09-18T17:58:00Z
2017-09-18T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I work in a hospital. Today I met a 48-year-old patient and his younger new wife. He told me that he divorced his college sweetheart and wife of 22 years and quickly started dating his employee...then married her. They moved 4 hours away, leaving his 14-year-old daughter with his ex-wife in Dallas. I thought how easily could be me and my husband now of 27 years. <br /><br />We went through a time two years ago that I thought we would divorce. But we both decided to put a lot of effort into making our marriage better and we are much happier. I know our two teenage sons can see the difference. After talking to that patient, I sent my husband a text telling him what a hunk he is and he sent me a loving reply. Tonight we will go for a walk and have a glass of wine together.<br /><br /> Thank you for all you do, Dr. Laura.</p>
<br /><br /><br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-09-18T17:58:00Z
He Looked Good On Paper
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Looked-Good-On-Paper/483460649089703518.html
2017-09-18T17:57:00Z
2017-09-18T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I married my best friend 24 years ago, but I should not have. <br /><br />I've heard several callers ask if they should marry a wonderful man who they love, but are not attracted to; someone who "<em>looks good on paper</em>" as you once said. Tell them NOT to do it because they will never be lovers. Well, I made this mistake and I wish I'd had this advice. We should have just remained good friends. We get along fine, but the lack of real emotional and physical intimacy has been very difficult. <br /><br />Ladies, if you want a roommate and companion go ahead and marry him. If you want a man who is your lover, husband, and life partner in every way please please please do not make the mistake that I made. I will probably leave in a few years after our kids have left home because this is not what I want between now and dead. I wish I'd waited for the right man.</p>
Staff
2017-09-18T17:57:00Z
It's Supposed to Hurt
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Supposed-to-Hurt/-760122953699152456.html
2017-09-15T17:58:00Z
2017-09-15T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />In my Facebook feed, I saw your Dr. Laura Says, "There is no shortcut to getting over a breakup. We all have to go through the pain and grief." Sorrow builds growth. No matter the situation: who broke up with whom, why the relationship deteriorated, or even who was at fault. At some point you loved; and therefore, it hurts. Let it. But don't allow the hurt to be confused. Take it in. Learn YOUR fault in the breakdown (we ALL have some accountability, even if minute). Take your lesson of your fault: trusting someone you knew wasn't trustworthy (red flags are actually are golden flags!!); you were too passive-too aggressive, or maybe both; they played you or you played them. <br /><br />The list is long. Relationships are messy! Whatever it may be. Feelings were involved and in the end, you hurt. Take what is yours and build for the next go round. Give yourself grace... Hurt, hurts. It takes time! Longer for some than others. Trust your gut, it knows!! Keri <br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-09-15T17:58:00Z
A New Attitude
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-New-Attitude/-792930817761809268.html
2017-09-15T17:57:00Z
2017-09-15T17:57:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am just writing to let you know how much I appreciate your wisdom now that I am "all grown up". I used to listen to you when I was younger and I thought, "Who the hell is she to tell people they shouldn't work when they are moms and they shouldn't 'live together' before they get married!" I used to get so angry with you, but I continued to listen anyway! <br /><br />My son is now 14 and a wonderful kid. I recently rediscovered you on the podcast and am listening to you every day with fresh ears. I now find I couldn't agree with you more. I think you were always in the back of my mind, because I did get married, then have my son, all in the right order. And I, my husband and my mom all worked out our schedules so my son never had to go into day care. I want to give a big THANK YOU even though I didn't even know you were doing anything at the time!! <br /><br />Cheryl<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-09-15T17:57:00Z
College Tips From Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/College-Tips-From-Mom/433806396956216120.html
2017-09-14T17:58:00Z
2017-09-14T17:58:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"> </p>
As a mother of 2 children who have received college degrees, and as a Business Educator in a high school where I teach Career Planning, here goes my best advice: <br /><ol>
<li>Live on Campus and get involved in the first-week activities your college provides so you get to know people. Don't room with your best friend. It will not only stop you from being best friends, but it will stop you from meeting new people! </li>
<br />
<li>Join a club and get involved right away! This gives you a core group of people who you can get to know well and it also gives you a greater purpose! </li>
<br />
<li>Sit in the front of your classes and let your professors know who you are and that you are interested in their course! They will be a great resource to you throughout your major. </li>
<br />
<li>Don't walk around Campus late at night by yourself. Always have someone with you! And don't be distracted with your phone when you are walking to your car or to another building!!! </li>
<br />
<li>NEVER put your drink down or leave it unattended. If you do, don't drink it. Don't catch a ride home with strangers and don't leave a bar or party by yourself. Surround yourself always with people who have your back! It's much safer.</li>
</ol>
Staff
2017-09-14T17:58:00Z
Changing My Outlook
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-My-Outlook/-661451511388976929.html
2017-09-14T17:57:00Z
2017-09-14T17:57:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am a long time listener and fan of you and your show. I am writing to you today to thank you! Thank you for all of the advice you have given to me over the years. Because of your advice, I can say I am MY 5 KIDS MOM, a happy wife, and my husband's girlfriend! <br /><br />You see I come from a broken family, my mother has been married 5 times. My idea of marriage was not ideal. Obviously right? I started listening to you and you changed the way I thought of marriage and men. I realized I could have a happy marriage if I choose wisely, treat kindly. I read your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a>"</em> years ago and that was a game changer for me once again. <br /><br />My husband and I just celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary. We took our kids on a trip to celebrate. We told them it was our families birthday! I tell my kids all the time that I am so proud of myself. I did such a good job picking their father! My kids will never have to know what it is like to grow up in a broken home and to not have their dad around. <br /><br />So I sincerely thank you for being that voice in my head to pick a real man and to choose wisely, treat kindly! <br /><br />Much love, <br /><br />Wendy</p>
<blockquote><br /><br /><br />
<p> </p>
</blockquote>
Staff
2017-09-14T17:57:00Z
Dating Over 50
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dating-Over-50/-461568231596113250.html
2017-09-13T17:58:00Z
2017-09-13T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I heard that caller who worried about dating as an older woman. I am married, but meet widowed and single over 50-90-year-olds several times a week volunteering at our biggest city hospital. There are hundreds of opportunities and they meet widowed men and single men their age all the time! We use volunteers to rock babies, deliver flowers, take messages, discharge people, push the cookie cart (the most beloved job in hospital), etc. Also, I am a docent at a historical house in my home town. I did not even know it existed and now I am a reader for the Underground Railroad Program as well as lead tours in the same pre-Civil War house. And I am 58. My gosh, I cannot even tell you how much the zoo needs people. We have volunteers who visit veterans in the hospital and also provide an honor guard around the deceased until they are transported to a funeral home. We have a program "No one should die alone" where volunteers sit with the dying who have no family. There are so many places she could volunteer to meet other people. She just needs to pick something she's interested in. <br /><br />God bless you and all your hard earned wisdom, <br /><br />Donna</p>
Staff
2017-09-13T17:58:00Z
Predicting Lasting Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Predicting-Lasting-Love/334229767524724077.html
2017-09-13T17:57:00Z
2017-09-13T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv2098228522msoplaintext">Decades of observation has led me to believe a wife's reaction to her husband to be the best predictor of lasting love. A woman who makes sour faces when her husband is nearby or when her husband is talking, or who mocks him especially in public, reveals the disdain that will likely end the marriage. Likewise, a woman whose face lights up around her husband, who shows some pride in him when he talks in groups, and who is playful with him, is indicating the proper attitude to sustain the marriage. It is not politically correct to say, but most marriages really do succeed or fail on the wife's desire for them to either succeed or fail. That is not to say that men never mess up their marriages, it is to say that in general wives have far more influence and control over the connection they share.</p>
<p class="yiv2098228522msoplaintext">I emphasize wife, not woman. This dynamic does not hold in dating. An old saying is if you want to test a person's strength, give them adversity. To test their character, give them power. Marriage affords women great power over their husbands, even long after a marriage ends, power they do not have when they are trying to persuade the man to walk down the aisle. How women use this power reveals a great deal about the destiny of the relationship. If their tactic shifts from persuasion to dismissiveness or bullying, the destiny is bleak.</p>
<p class="yiv2098228522msoplaintext">Jay</p>
<p class="yiv0751105358msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv0751105358msoplaintext"> </p>
<p> </p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403112539688_27993" class="yiv0751105358MsoPlainText"> </p>
Staff
2017-09-13T17:57:00Z
Love Notes For College
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Love-Notes-For-College/317523755212221053.html
2017-09-12T17:58:00Z
2017-09-12T17:58:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />As I prepared to take my daughter to college today, I wrote a note inside a sketch book for her to express my thoughts of the last years. I thought I would share it with you since you have been so influential in the raising of my 3 children.</p>
<blockquote><em>To my Precious Cassie Belle, </em><br /><br /><em>As I sit to write you a note, I am shocked by how fast the last 18 years have gone. From the day you were born, I knew what a special girl you were. You are such an incredible mix of your Dad and I. I have enjoyed every moment, from sickness, school drama, and of course my favorite, horse riding. </em><br /><br /><em>To watch you learn to lose with such grace and work so hard for a silly ribbon. The lessons you learned competing have truly prepared you for life's ups and downs. And a side note, left you no time for boys. </em><br /><br /><em>So as you enter your freshman year of college, have fun, study hard and choose your friends wisely. I am only a phone call away. I look forward to you spreading your wings. So start flapping your wings as I gently push you out. I am so proud of you and love you more than you will ever understand until you are a mom! "Out of all the little girls in the world, why did God give me you" </em><br /><br /><em>Mom</em><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p> </p>
</blockquote>
Staff
2017-09-12T17:58:00Z
I Learn Something New Every Day
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Learn-Something-New-Every-Day/388183078250953376.html
2017-09-12T17:57:00Z
2017-09-12T17:57:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />Just wanted to say thank you for publishing "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Marriage/dp/0061233129/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1505254411&sr=1-3&keywords=The+Proper+Care+and+Feeding+of+Marriage" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage</a></em>" and "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>". <br /><br />My wife and I were a train wreck waiting for a place to crash. We got both books and it seems like over night we started to change the both of us. Life is now awesome. There would probably be less divorce and discontent in relationships if they taught the values from your books in schools. I just wanted to say thank you. <br /><br />I listen to your show every day and I learn something new every day.</p>
Staff
2017-09-12T17:57:00Z
Always In The Back of My Mind
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Always-In-The-Back-of-My-Mind/976278194180289548.html
2017-09-11T17:58:00Z
2017-09-11T17:58:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am just writing to let you know how much I appreciate your wisdom now that I am "all grown up". I use to listen to you when I was younger and think, "Who the hell is she to tell people they shouldn't work when they are Moms and they shouldn't live together before they get married!" I use to get so angry with you, but I continued to listen anyway! <br /><br />My son is now 14 and a wonderful kid. I recently rediscovered you on the podcast and listening to you every day with fresh ears and I couldn't agree with you more. I think you were always in the back of my mind because I did get married, then had my son, all in the right order. Myself, my husband and my Mom all worked out our schedules so my son never had to go into day care. So I just want to give a big THANK YOU! Even though I didn't even know you were doing anything at the time!! Have a wonderful Holiday! <br /><br />Cheryl<br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-09-11T17:58:00Z
My Dad, My Hero
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Dad,-My-Hero/-893677556629962052.html
2017-09-11T17:57:00Z
2017-09-11T17:57:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />Dear Doctor Laura, <br /><br />I am a new member of your Dr. Laura Family Free, but I am not new to your books. I simply want to thank you for your dedicated understanding of how successful families and individuals function. I grew up with a mother who degraded my father in every way possible. Her manipulations and refusal to take personal responsibility left a wake of devastation. My father, however, decided to rise above it. He read voraciously and bettered himself to be the man that could overcome the faults. There were many times as a teen that I would turn the key to my dad's car and hear a narrator telling me how to better myself so I could improve my marriage. There was not a day that went by that he did not express his love for her, even knowing that she was abusive. He is amazing. In every way, he is my hero. <br /><br />After 28 years of marriage they divorced. Although I will never know what it is like to be a child of a successful marriage, I have great hope in being a mother to those who do. When I was about 16 my Dad gave me his copy of "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and told me to remember gratitude. This was a frequent topic in our talks. He told me that gratitude is the key to a happy life. As an adult woman, in an ever increasingly male-oppressive society, I can see his wisdom. I recently purchased "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" on Audible.com and I found myself saying "Amen" to just about everything! Ha-ha. So, thank you! You have helped to bring alignment and happiness to me and to the man I will someday call Husband. You are wonderful! <br /><br />Much love and gratitude, <br /><br />Nikelle<br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-09-11T17:57:00Z
My Marriage Motto
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Marriage-Motto/-512592710085284179.html
2017-09-08T17:58:00Z
2017-09-08T17:58:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been listening to your program for 27 years and this month my husband and I will be celebrating our 30th anniversary. Our 30 years have had many ups and downs, as all relationships do, but we have worked very hard to make a good marriage and to show our 3 kids what two people that love each other are willing to do to remain happy. <br /><br />Several years ago you made a comment on your show that has stayed with me. I have passed it on to others as well. This has become my motto through the years!
<blockquote><em><strong> "When you wake up in the morning, think about what you can do to make your spouse's day better and glad that they are married to you." </strong></em></blockquote>
Thank you for your wonderful words of wisdom and your commitment to bettering the lives of families and children. <br /><br />Love and respect, <br /><br />Leslie <br /><br />
Staff
2017-09-08T17:58:00Z
Giving Away the Bride
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Giving-Away-the-Bride/654162579273174759.html
2017-09-08T17:57:00Z
2017-09-08T17:57:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>I attended a wedding where the bride's father had unexpectedly died weeks before the wedding. The bride could not find it in her heart to replace her dad with the task of giving her away. During a family meeting, the groom, assured the bride that he would take care of the concern. He urged her to trust him, then asked her to walk in the church and wait in the back. Family encouraged the bride that her father would not wish for her to postpone a wedding that was already paid for.<br /><br /> The day of the wedding, the men all in dress whites, walked in to the church. As the music began, bridesmaids in a lovely shade of blue entered the room. The Bride finally entered the back of the church, the sanctuary doors closed behind her and everyone patiently waited. That handsome bridegroom softly marched to the back and escorted his bride like a prince. There was not a dry eye in the house. We all witnessed a man's first step in being there for his wife. The event was charming, and precious! <br /><br />I love and respect your work, </p>
<p>Dan</p>
Staff
2017-09-08T17:57:00Z
Words I'm Living By
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Words-Im-Living-By/-516299008438386476.html
2017-09-07T17:58:00Z
2017-09-07T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />A call that stayed with me was from a woman who had been a runner. While training, she fell in the street, causing her so much emotional pain she no longer has the motivation to run. Not in these exact words, you told her that her fear of running is not because of the fall, but rather it has become an excuse. Prior to that fall, she believed she could beat her best time. Now she can say, "IF I were running again, I could totally beat my best time." That alleviates the pressure of actually having to fulfill that promise. I think your advice was absolutely correct and spot on. I'm finding myself thinking of that call often and how what I say or do impacts things in my life. Am I not doing an activity because I really can't or because it's easier to think "What If?!" I just wanted to say that your words resonated with me and I appreciate your advice often. Thank you for all that you do. <br /><br />Sarah <br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-09-07T17:58:00Z
Fitness Tips From Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fitness-Tips-From-Dr.-Laura/924604528713716433.html
2017-09-07T17:57:00Z
2017-09-07T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Lately, I have noted a number of people calling who need to be 'motivated' to exercise and ask your advice. I have listened to you for years and have two favorite pieces of advice regarding this subject. <br /><br /></p>
<ul>
<li><strong>First:</strong> <em>"Move more, eat less." </em>Simple, to the point and right just like you.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><strong>Second:</strong> (and my favorite), <em>"Keep telling yourself, 'I don't want to do this' as you put your shirt on; 'I really don't want to do this' as your put on your shorts; 'I don't, don't want to do this' as you put on your shoes. Before you know it, you'll be out the door, moving!"</em> I do this a lot and it works wonders. </li>
</ul>
<p><br />Your podcast keeps me company on my almost daily walks. I go from 3.5 to 6 miles at a time and you make it really enjoyable. You also accompany me when I'm pulling weeds and it's amazing how much I get done without realizing that I'm working. <br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura!<br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-09-07T17:57:00Z
Thank you For Your Constant Advice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-you-For-Your-Constant-Advice/-111318213085084714.html
2017-09-06T17:58:00Z
2017-09-06T17:58:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br />Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I am now a 29-year-old man, but I remember listening to your program as I sat in the back of my mom's Jeep in my car seat. I am now a Sirius subscriber and enjoy listening to you every day as I drive during work. <br /><br />I want to thank you for your constant advice that you give to so many of us. You have enlightened me many times with regards to family and my relationships as I navigate the dating world. You have, without a doubt, helped me find the woman I will marry soon (Wedding invitation to follow - at least I can say I invited THE Dr. Laura). <br /><br /><span>You do so much for so many. You are undoubtedly a guiding light in the world we live in.</span><br /><br />Thanks again<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-09-06T17:58:00Z
Good Environment Equals Growth
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Good-Environment-Equals-Growth/-780671956814739151.html
2017-09-06T17:57:00Z
2017-09-06T17:57:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br />I love the way you have taken control of your show. Don't let the crazy people who know the answers to their questions drive you insane. It's even more of a pleasure to listen to your show now. I don't have to remove my ear piece from my ear because of yelling and I feel happier when I listen to it. It's an environment I want to continue to learn and grow in. you sound happier too. <br /><br />I just love your laugh. keep up the great work. you're good at what you do and the show sounds more dignified. May YOU never retire! </p>
Staff
2017-09-06T17:57:00Z
Dating My Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dating-My-Husband/167655058656167582.html
2017-09-05T17:58:00Z
2017-09-05T17:58:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />When our 3 children were younger my husband and I agreed to start dating. Once a month we would go on a date. The even months, I would plan the date and arrange for a babysitter. The odd months, he would do the same. The rules were we could not go to the movies or on a double date. The date had to be in an atmosphere where we could communicate with each other. The date didn't always include spending money sometimes, we would just take a hike in the woods. I remember one month I was getting a little antsy. I didn't think he was going to pull through with his obligation. It was the 31st of the month. When I got home that evening he had dinner on the table and of course the children were there. He cleaned up dinner and someone came to stay with the children. We went to a nearby restaurant for dessert and coffee. <br /><br />Our children are all married. I'm thankful after 33 years I still like my husband and enjoy spending time with just him. He still does an excellent job of planning dates. Our agreement way back then has strengthened our marriage. We share this idea with many young couples and offered to make ourselves available to watch their little ones so they too can spend time alone together.<br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-09-05T17:58:00Z
What a Whirlwind
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-a-Whirlwind/241064614493017327.html
2017-09-05T17:57:00Z
2017-09-05T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />You asked what you didn't know about kids until you had them... <br /><br />My instant response was when you think you want babies, you really should be looking at whether you want to be a parent to a helpless baby that turns really quickly into a toddler, who instantly morphs into a grade school child, that breezes through the teenage years and all-of-a-sudden-oh-my-gosh that teenager drives away to college and you look at yourself in the mirror and realize you did your best. Your life is never the same after that "baby" enters your life and you should really be asking yourself if you think you can be selfless for 22 years. I am glad I did and was, but what a whirlwind! <br /><br />Shelley <strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2017-09-05T17:57:00Z
I Have a New Attitude
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Have-a-New-Attitude/98787504989608829.html
2017-09-01T17:58:00Z
2017-09-01T17:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I just want to thank you for your books. I just read The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands... And In Praise of Stay at Home Moms... And Parenthood by Proxy.</p>
<p>Dr Laura, I've been at home with my 8 month old since he was born. I felt so stupid about it, given that everyone looks at this with shame and pressures me to work, including both my parents, sister and husband. My dad said it was imperative for me to find employment immediately. Right now we're surviving fine with my husband's teacher salary.</p>
<p>I just want to say thank you!!!! Because you are the first person I know who accepts moms like us. I really thought I was alone. I was even embarrassed to be seen with my boy. Thanks to you, I feel more confident about my life.</p>
<p>I've turned my whole attitude around since I read your books. My husband and I have improved our relationship given that the word divorce was spoken just in July.</p>
<p>Thanks so much. You're my hero! I still face issues, but I'm following your advice and really hoping for the best.</p>
<p>G.</p>
Staff
2017-09-01T17:58:00Z
My Family Paid the Price
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Family-Paid-the-Price/-900006931470265294.html
2017-09-01T17:57:00Z
2017-09-01T17:57:00Z
<p>I have been listening to your show for quite a while. Recently it has been religiously. I have two children, a 14 month old and an eight-year-old.</p>
<p>For the past year I have been working part time for additional income for our household. Thanks to you, I realized how much it was hurting our family for me to be away from home and not being 100% a wife, mother, lover and caretaker. I have been having a really hard time trying to juggle too much and it has kept me from being my husband's girlfriend and my kids' mom.</p>
<p>My husband came to me last Saturday (after a particularly stressful week) and asked I put my two weeks in at my job. I found it amazing that almost instantaneously I had the biggest weight off of my shoulders. I also find it awesome how unbelievably appealing my husband has been to me ever since he took back his role and asked that I do the same for myself! Yay! I now have the energy to do everything I should be doing for my husband and daughters.</p>
<p>Thank you for your insight!!</p>
<p>Megan</p>
Staff
2017-09-01T17:57:00Z
Listening And Learning
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Listening-And-Learning/582827249932189571.html
2017-08-31T17:58:00Z
2017-08-31T17:58:00Z
<br />Some of my earliest childhood memories are laced with your voice speaking through our AM radio in our car as my mom would drive her 6 children around to various activities and lessons. I've listened to you since childhood, as have my children. I am my kid's mom and hubbies girlfriend!! Because of that, it's made me a better person, for them. <br /><br />I heard today as I was driving, you encouraging us to tell you a story about how we have applied something we've learned from you. I've learned a lot from you, but you know your kids are listening and learning.<br /> <br />Thanks for all your influence, wisdom and for holding others accountable!!!<br /> <br />
Staff
2017-08-31T17:58:00Z
Maintenance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Maintenance/338662155898632244.html
2017-08-31T17:57:00Z
2017-08-31T17:57:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am where I am now because of you and a dear friend along the way of 11 years. I found myself slipping lately due to the economy and my career. So, I thrust my head into my books hunting for <em>Bad Childhood - Good Life</em>. My thirst to find it was almost comical. With an enormous deep sigh, I sank into my comfort chair and reread this book. I felt the strength wrap me in glory again. When I reread the book, it was so comforting to see the growth and the pride I have in my wonderful quality of life. Demons do tread and they don't tread lightly.</p>
<p>Why did I find myself hunting for strength? I was finding myself short in answers, impatient and flustered. My son said, "Mom, did you take your Thyroid pill today?" I just needed to get my power back.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>P.</p>
Staff
2017-08-31T17:57:00Z
Thank You For Your Light In A Darkening World
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You-For-Your-Light-In-A-Darkening-World/-797960448396709557.html
2017-08-30T17:58:00Z
2017-08-30T17:58:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I called you last August, after having a horrible day in family court. I was going through a divorce. My wife had filed after she had been involved in an affair for years. I discovered the affair 18 months prior to that date and I was utterly destroyed. <br /><br />You told me that my feelings of despair were normal. You made me laugh a little when I had not laughed in years! The reason for my email today is to thank you, for the times that you recognize that it is not only men that are abusers. After 18 months of trying to repair, forgive, plead, beg, cry, demand, I became angry at times. I started to suffer from depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation. You told me to go for walks and exercise when those feelings came to me -- it works! <br /><br />With the help of a local women's shelter, she was able to get the courts to remove me from the home. Now I have an executive level position and I have a very nice apartment. A very perceptive judge completely reversed the restrictions of a lower court judge. The judge actually listened to my side of the story and seemed to see the entire picture. I am functioning again, I am thinking clearly, and I am losing weight! <br /><br />My heart while sad but isn't broken and I want to live for my girls more than anything. Thank you for your light in a darkening world!<br />
Staff
2017-08-30T17:58:00Z
We Started Out As Friends
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Started-Out-As-Friends/951165643080316180.html
2017-08-30T17:57:00Z
2017-08-30T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I knew, my husband was the one for me for many reasons. You see, we met at work, and started out as friends, going for coffee, drinks, movies, hikes. As the months went by and we spent more and more time together, our friendship went to being engaged and then married. <br /><br />I love everything about my guy. He treats me like a true lady. His compassion for life and everything he does all comes from his heart. If I had to pick one thing I like the best, it would be that we can take holidays or build a garage together, without getting stressed at one another. We keep each other grounded, and have lots of fun at the same time. It's been 15 years now, and I/WE are still very much in love: WE are each other's girlfriend/boyfriend, loving each moment we have. <br /><br />Janice</p>
Staff
2017-08-30T17:57:00Z
Forever An Influence In Our Lives
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Forever-An-Influence-In-Our-Lives/569336332183356672.html
2017-08-29T17:58:00Z
2017-08-29T17:58:00Z
<br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am 27 years old and proud to say that I have been listening to you since I was a very young girl. My Mom would listen to you every single day, my brother and I would always joke that Mom would "trap" us in the car when we were little, then take us to run errands. Now, we have grown into adults and we now BOTH listen to you every day! <br /><br />Your message has impacted our lives in the most positive way possible. Thank you for being you. Thank you for being the voice in our heads to guide us in doing the right thing. Also, thank you for being a bad ass. I hope I am as fierce as you someday. <br /><br />Thank you for your time, <br /><br />Mandy<br /><br />
Staff
2017-08-29T17:58:00Z
Yeah, But...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Yeah,-But.../-253428775238117044.html
2017-08-29T17:58:00Z
2017-08-29T17:58:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just wanted to let you know that you’re not the only person who gets “Yeah, but…” as an answer to yes or no questions. As a high school communications teacher and motorcycle safety advocate I’ve heard “yeah, but” several thousand times. <br /><br />It’s frustrating to have folks try to squirm away from facing the simple truths by muddying the waters with details that don’t change the basic premise. With my high school students I try to clarify the situation by telling them a parable which goes like this:<br />
<blockquote>“Do you want to hear about a teenage boy’s worst day ever?” They universally respond with a “yes”. I continue, “Cody is at his friend’s house playing X-box. It’s a bit of a party and there’s 4 or 5 other young men there. Cody’s phone rings. He looks at it and it is his girlfriend. After a moment of teasing he ignores the call. The phone rings again. Girlfriend. More teasing. He ignores the call again. The phone rings again. This time someone pauses the game and the guys tell him to “answer it, she won’t give up until you do.” Cody takes the call and, even with the phone to his ear, everyone can hear Cody’s girlfriend on the other end crying her eyes out, gasping, snorting, she’s hysterical. “Cody” she yells for all to hear, “I’m sorta pregnant!” and then she hangs up.</blockquote>
<br />At this point I ask the class, what question is in Cody’s head. They respond with stuff like, “Is it a boy or girl?” “Is it his?” or other goofiness. I quiet them down and say: “He wants to know what the flipping flapjacks ‘sorta’ pregnant means. Either you are or you aren’t. There’s no sorta, kinda, or a little bit. Either you are or you are not.” There is no “sorta”.<br /><br /> “Yeah but…” doesn’t change a yes or no question; either you are or you aren’t. <br /><br />Keep on keeping on!<br />
Staff
2017-08-29T17:58:00Z
Sewing with My Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sewing-with-My-Mom/-225904229134356213.html
2017-08-28T17:58:00Z
2017-08-28T17:58:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />It's so hard to choose just one favorite memory of my mother. I am the youngest of four girls and my mother was a stay-at-home mom and made all our meals from scratch and sewed most of my clothes on her little Singer sewing machine. <br /><br />My favorite memories are when we would go to Cloth World and she would let me look through the Butterick and McCall's pattern books and choose whichever pattern I wanted her to make. Then, on to the fabric, buttons, trim, zipper and thread. We did it all together. If I wanted purple rick-rack on hot pink cotton with an orange zipper running down the back... it was my design. (This was the 70's baby!) We'd go home, lay out the fabric on the dining room table and place the pattern pieces in place and pin them down. I'd cut the pieces out and remove the pins and hand them to her as she worked over her little Singer sewing machine creating my garment. I had couture clothing at ten years old! Custom tailored, one-of-a-kind designs. LOL! Just me and my mom on a summer's day in Phoenix! <br /><br />I love my Mom!<br /><br />Sallie<br />
Staff
2017-08-28T17:58:00Z
Getting a Job
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Getting-a-Job/-310614280493829586.html
2017-08-28T17:57:00Z
2017-08-28T17:57:00Z
<br />Hi, Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My experience as a recruiter taught me what red flags to look for when hiring someone and what answers Human Resources wants to hear: <br /><br />1. Never say ANYTHING negative about your former employer. <br /><br />2. Never bring up vacation or sick days on the first interview.<br /><br />3. Be upbeat and positive about your current employer and your accomplishments there, especially how you added to their bottom line. Have a list prepared to give interviewer. <br /><br />4. Do your homework and research the company you're interviewing with. The more you know about their competitors, their goals and their challenges, the better informed you look. <br /><br />5. Be prepared for curve ball questions like "We have an employee from a different culture and her associates are complaining of her body odor. How would you handle speaking with her to correct the problem??" I was actually asked this on an interview and flunked the question.<br /><br />6. Smile a lot, sit tall, project an air of confidence. <br /><br />7. Send a handwritten thank-you note, thanking the person for their time and a brief summary of your qualifications that are pertinent to the job and what your work experience will add to this position. <br /><br />Hope the above info helps. I have been listening to your show for the past 2 years and can say I'm addicted. Your advice has helped me to always do the right thing…well almost always.<br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Rick <br /><br />
Staff
2017-08-28T17:57:00Z
Being a Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-a-Mom/-58777505127852812.html
2017-08-25T17:58:00Z
2017-08-25T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I have been a divorced parent for many years. When I tell people this, I often get, "Oh you should go out and meet someone", or "I know someone you would really be great for you…" When I tell people I choose to be a single, they are really taken aback by that statement. It is a choice. Is it the best situation? Absolutely not! A two parent household is optimum. However, I left a marriage that was unhealthy and destructive. I was depressed and lonely at first, but in time I realized how much happier my children were. Their father chose not to be a part of their lives. They have struggled and I have worked hard to be both parents. I have a great support system which has seen me through the rough times. <br /><br />I had 4 children. My eldest died in a car accident and it was devastating. He was only 19. I have twin daughters that are now 26. They are both successful, in healthy relationships and have chosen to wait to get married until they are ready to have children and be a mom. My youngest is 17. He is wonderful and will be going to college next year. All of them freely say they love me. They are caring and kind. Even the 17 year old boy will give me hugs. None of them do drugs, the older ones drink rarely and responsibly. <br /><br />I chose my children over my "desire' to be involved with a man. This was not an easy choice. I do not date. I do not go out to bars. I do not look for men. I attend all band and school functions to support my son. I cook, clean, shuttle kids to and from events and school. I work full time. It was hard in the beginning, but I have been creative and fortunate that my hours working matched school hours. It was the best way I could work and care for my children. I am happy. Do I want to find someone and grow old with? Yes. Of course, I think about that. Am I happy? Absolutely! I am 58 years old and am ready to move into my time to have a relationship and enjoy traveling with a mate. I am not sure I look forward to dating, but I am not concerned about meeting someone. So who knows? After my baby's graduation and he is off to college, I may meet a decent man and enjoy the second half of my life - ok so I may not live to be 116, but I have no regrets. I did the job I signed up for. I have raised my children to be safe, responsible and productive citizens. The time for me is around the corner and I am happy waiting for it. <br /><br />I wanted to write this so that maybe others will know that parenting means sacrifice, with or without a partner. It was better for me to parent my children rather than add another person to the dynamics in our life. I have no regrets. I am not some weird ugly woman who can't have a decent relationship. I just chose the path that would best support my children. Every sacrifice was worth every second of the life I have had raising them. <br /><br />Thank you, <br /><br />Dawn</p>
Staff
2017-08-25T17:58:00Z
Living With an Addict
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Living-With-an-Addict/-201021928268429260.html
2017-08-25T17:57:00Z
2017-08-25T17:57:00Z
<br />
<p class="yiv8078991472msoplaintext">The best advice I can give with those living with an addict or one in recovery, (meaning they have substance abuse, but are actively working to stay sober), is this: Take care of yourself first. Find an Al anon or Families Anonymous group and learn how to not enable the addict. Learn that you are powerless over the addict. It's completely up to them to get into recovery. Family can support their efforts, but cannot do it for them. Know what your boundaries are with the addict and stick to it. Find serenity and work the 12 steps for yourself. Pray and find others in the Anon groups that can initially help you. Your addict is never out of the woods with this disease. Understand that while today may be good, tomorrow may not be. Learn to accept this.</p>
<p class="yiv8078991472msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv8078991472msoplaintext">Linda</p>
<br />
Staff
2017-08-25T17:57:00Z
Modern Parents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Modern-Parents/-616435183233943638.html
2017-08-24T17:58:00Z
2017-08-24T17:58:00Z
<ul>
</ul>
<br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I am compelled to write, because unfortunately, I don't have another woman in my life who will understand what I just experienced.<br /><br />I had a very disheartening phone conversation with one sister about our other sister, who has an 18-month-old baby.<br /><br />Sister #1 mentioned she expected Sister #2 to be announcing another pregnancy anytime now, since she originally wanted more than one child.<br /><br />I commented that I didn't think so, since she seemed to be very overwhelmed. She has him in day care three days a week. She works two of those days, and the third day is because:<br /><br />A. He handles being there "better" if it is more often and<br />B. She needs a day to herself.<br /><br />Sister #1 was quiet for a second before telling me in no uncertain terms she is a huge fan of day care and besides, kids need the social interaction and stimulation. I simply said that in my opinion, meeting and befriending other adults with children the same age as yours is a better way to do that. Her only response was that you can't be all things to your kids.<br /><br />I could not believe my ears. We were talking about a 1 1/2 year-old-baby who can't even say full sentences.<br /><br />I think it is tragic this is the popular opinion among parents now. In fact, its baffling to me that my own sisters share in it. Our mother was a stay-at-home-mom.<br /><br />When my husband and I start our family, I will not think twice about quitting my day job (and "wasting" my degree!) to be a mother to my child.<br /><br />Thanks for nagging. Please never stop.<br /><br />Please sign me anonymous.<br /><br /><br />P.S. I am one of the lucky ones today: I married a real man who feels the same way about raising children. There aren't many out there anymore (at least in my age range).<br />
Staff
2017-08-24T17:58:00Z
Teaching Respect
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teaching-Respect/-100865958567290116.html
2017-08-24T17:57:00Z
2017-08-24T17:57:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Nick Peters is a real estate person in our area. Once in a while he sends out news letters with interesting tidbits and a sprinkling of personal info. This column was in the most recent letter:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">A few days ago my 83 year-old Dad joined me at my oldest son's high school "passing league" football tournament. His knees are bad and he can barely walk a few blocks (I am talking about my Dad, not my son!!) so I wondered how he'd do. We brought his walker to help him cover more ground with less pain.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">At this tournament there were dozens of teams and literally hundreds of boys constantly warming up, running, playing catch, running patterns, you name it. You couldn't walk more than 5 feet without having to go around a boy or step over a football. Not an ideal place for Dad to try and get around easily.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Still, it was a great day. By late afternoon, although the tourney was not over, AJ had played his final game and it was time for our long trudge back to the car.<br />Of course, any "long trudge" is shorter if you decide to NOT go around the crowd. Before I knew it, Dad was already a good 50 yards away. He was blazing a slow but deliberate path straight for the exit and RIGHT through a massive crowd of football players. It was like watching someone trying to walk across the 405 freeway and not get hit! Oy!!</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">My first instinct was to run forward and re-direct Dad out of harm's way. Instead, I took a deep breath and just stood back and admired what he was doing ... he was forging ahead through thick and thin - like he has done his whole life... With his Korean Veteran cap on, he (with his walker) ambled through one school of boys like a cruise missile in slow motion. There wasn't much anyone could do about my dad's plan! At a pace of 1 mile/hour he wasn't going to be out of their way anytime soon! The kids looked a bit bewildered at my Dad slicing through their territory; they couldn't practice their running routes for fear of colliding into the Old Man.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Surprisingly, the coaches didn't mind this unusual interruption. In fact, the head coach motioned to the boys to make room for the Old Man. He barked at some of the slower moving boys to "Move back 5 yards, now!" To me, that showed a clear sense of respect and honor that my Dad's labored efforts took precedence over their practice.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">The coach seemed determined to make sure his players respectfully and quickly moved back to give the aging Veteran the right of way. Dad was tired, hot, and pushing hard to make it to the car before his knees gave out. I really don't think he noticed anything. But I did. The coach did. And more importantly, some of those kids did, too.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">A year from now I won't remember if AJ's team won or lost the tourney, but I will remember the sight of my Dad, like an old tug boat, puttering through the sea of young men, who gave him the space and respect he deserved.</p>
<p>Sent in by Julie</p>
Staff
2017-08-24T17:57:00Z
Growing Up Fast
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Growing-Up-Fast/-162392379146757095.html
2017-08-23T17:58:00Z
2017-08-23T17:58:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>I believe my biggest "character builder" as a kid, teenager, and as young adult was my mother, and somehow my brothers. My father passed away when I was 8 years old. There were 11 children and by that time only 2 were married. My mother had to work as hard as she could to raise a big group of kids and teenagers. We all had to help out in the house. I remember I could not reach the place she used to wash clothes by hand, so she got the idea for me to stand on a paint bucket while I did my laundry. She went to other towns far away to sell clothes. </p>
<p>If people did not have money to spend, she would trade, like a pair of pants for a chicken, or for coffee beans, beans, corn, etc. I would come on those trips to help her out. My brothers' thought they could ask for anything at any time, but were they wrong! They were used to demanding things, but not with me. If they wanted something from me or from my mother, they had to ask nicely. To stand up to my brothers and teach them respect was not an easy thing to do for many people, but it was easy for me. I used to live in the City of Guatemala in Central America. I learned how to raise farm animals in the city, how to sell and buy things, be responsible, and be a team player.</p>
<p>My mother was a hard working woman who always did the impossible by raising all of us. <br /><br />Thank you for your time Dr. Laura.<br /><br />Mrs. Aguilar</p>
Staff
2017-08-23T17:58:00Z
Being Defensive
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-Defensive/-68481904524528810.html
2017-08-23T17:58:00Z
2017-08-23T17:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br /> <br />The other day I read an interesting thing which made a lot of sense to me. I think you too will find it quite interesting.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Sometimes people are a lot like dogs. When a dog barks and howls, he is protecting something. So, when you are having a disagreement with someone and they start "barking and howling", you have to ask yourself...<br />"What are they protecting?"</p>
</blockquote>
<p><br />To me this is a very enlightening concept. Usually when people get extremely defensive, loud and argumentative they are "protecting" something such as their way of life, their beliefs, the status quo or something else. And they don't want to change. Anyway, I thought you would find this interesting.</p>
<p>I listen to your show every day on Sirius/XM radio and really appreciate your point of view. I have been listening to you for many years and your common sense advice has assisted me in making difficult decisions and helping me mold a life I am now very proud of. Thank you very much for giving of yourself to help so many people in need.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Risa</p>
Staff
2017-08-23T17:58:00Z
Taking Advice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-Advice/-256322475440492210.html
2017-08-22T17:58:00Z
2017-08-22T17:58:00Z
<p>I've listen to you every day, for years, sometimes twice a day in case I missed something. I am made fun of by friends and family and it is a running joke when someone has a challenge, they look to me and say "Ask Dr. L."! I am teary- eyed as I write this as I don't think I ever realized how much you have inspired me.</p>
<p>I think of you daily when I feel challenged in my marriage or with the rearing of my children. I am easily overwhelmed and suffer from Crohn's Disease so listening to you has forced me to stop and think before I react.</p>
<p>But most importantly, up until about 5 years ago (I am now 49), I was what you would consider a "weak" person. As a pleaser, I would allow friends and family to intimidate me, take advantage of my lack of being able to say NO when I really wanted to and earn the reputation of the one to go to when needing a good listener. I seemed to be very good at giving advice but not very good at taking my own advice. I was also nicknamed "the enabler". You have given me the strength and courage to stand up for myself, defend myself and take my own advice. I no longer run from confrontation or allow myself to be taken advantage of. I feel so much more confident and strong and only wish I didn't wait so long to take YOUR advice.</p>
<p>I have read your books and give them as gifts, and every single day, when I watch my children leave the house or speak to my son in college on the phone, I tell them I love them and say "NOW...GO DO THE RIGHT THING"! And they have!!</p>
<p>L.</p>
Staff
2017-08-22T17:58:00Z
After a Job Loss
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/After-a-Job-Loss/-902965959956578780.html
2017-08-22T17:57:00Z
2017-08-22T17:57:00Z
<br />
<p>Hi Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I'm in my late 50's and was reorganized along with 299 others from a large Fortune 500 company that I had been with for 12 years. It seems that older employees are among the first to be let go as their salaries are commonly higher and their insurance premiums are higher as well. Of course, in order to receive the severance package you must sign the "will not sue" document. It is the first time being without a job for me since completing college. I inherently knew, however, that with my skill set I would be working again within 3 months, tops!</p>
<p>That was 6 months ago. I have been networking and using the job sites to respond to opportunities as they come up. I have sent 170 resumes in this time frame and may have had 9-10 interviews. Only now, within the last two weeks, I have been offered two high quality positions. I have accepted one and will begin Sept 30.</p>
<p>The most positive thing I did to find my job, STAY POSITIVE AND FOCUSED on working to find that job: network and work diligently daily in scouring the job boards. It will come.</p>
<p>Regards,</p>
<p>Fred</p>
<p>A loyal member of your fan club</p>
<br />
Staff
2017-08-22T17:57:00Z
Choosing Poorly
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Choosing-Poorly/457896434255066392.html
2017-08-21T17:58:00Z
2017-08-21T17:58:00Z
When I got together with my ex-husband, I made a poor choice. I had never had a relationship and I didn't realize how poorly equipped I was. When I finally decided to own up to my mistake and get out of the abuse, I remembered how my mom had listened to you all through my childhood. I realized what you would tell me to do. I took my two little girls and I moved home. <br /><br />My parents are stable, and have been married for 36 years. They also know how to balance me out with the Asperger's (having more than one child with it) and this helps me be a better mom. <br /><br />I also realized you would tell me not to date until the kids are up and out. I extended that to never, since if I were capable of a healthy relationship then I would not have elected to be in such an unhealthy one. The advice I heard you give all those years gave me a path to make what I had created a little better, though clearly it can't be fixed. I can not reengage with him on any level. I have to focus on what I can change or control and try to be a good mother going forward. <br /><br />Thank you for your advice. <br /><br />Rachel<br />
Staff
2017-08-21T17:58:00Z
Daycare Is Not School
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Daycare-Is-Not-School/921626096025277794.html
2017-08-21T17:57:00Z
2017-08-21T17:57:00Z
<br />Hi, Dr. Laura! <br /><br />I just wanted to share something with you I've been seeing a lot lately among moms that I think would bug you too. <br /><br />I'm a stay at home mom to 2 kids. Now I see a lot of mothers who put their kids in Daycare, but they call it "<em>school</em>". These kids are anywhere from 6 months old to 2 years old, but they are in school? No, they are in daycare! So many people now refuse to call it that. As if by somehow calling it "<em>school</em>" relieves them of the guilt for doing it. <br /><br />I just wanted to share that with you. I wasn't sure if you knew about this new word for daycare. Thanks, Dr. Laura! You're the voice for our stay at home mom's and I know I'm doing the right thing! <br /><br />Xoxo, <br /><br />Jenny<br />
Staff
2017-08-21T17:57:00Z
I Just Needed Direction And Clarity
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Just-Needed-Direction-And-Clarity/-465130556993124100.html
2017-08-18T17:58:00Z
2017-08-18T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I wanted to write to thank you very much for the help you've given me the past 4 years.Y ou may not have helped me directly, but you gave me direction. By listening to your calls, I learned how my obese-ness was affecting my life. Since then I have lost 125 pounds. I also discovered looking for a good woman should not be done on the internet. <br /><br />After joining a running club and dating someone for two years, I got married this past March. My life could not be happier. I wanted to thank you again for improving my life and putting me on track to do the right thing. <br /><br />James</p>
Staff
2017-08-18T17:58:00Z
Bonding With Legos
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bonding-With-Legos/301339033751819490.html
2017-08-18T17:57:00Z
2017-08-18T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Two years ago, I retired from my crazy full-time job. At first, I was sort of lost. Then I started building Lego sets with my grandsons. It became my favorite thing to do, and I haven't stopped! <br /><br />My grandchildren love to spend the night because we go buy a set and build. Each one gets to pick something. It is loads of fun. I expanded into the creator sets with the expert levels. I have the bank, the Parisian restaurant and the detective center all on display in my living room! No one knows they are lego sets until I tell them. Recently, I bought the huge Disneyland set. I'm starting on the Christmas sets so I am ready for the holidays! I loved hearing that you are doing it too. Kindred spirits! I have listened to you for along time and love the wisdom you impart.</p>
Staff
2017-08-18T17:57:00Z
What I Wish I'd Known Years Ago...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-I-Wish-Id-Known-Years-Ago.../670988556670415965.html
2017-08-17T17:58:00Z
2017-08-17T17:58:00Z
<p>Years ago I wish I had known that acquiring an education would assist in "being someone". Finding my passion, my purpose before getting married would have been a smart move. I married to become me and it didn't work. The marriage worked (eventually). I always wanted to be a mother and in doing so ignored the needs of a weak man and paid the price. We are still married 37 years later and are both better people than we were early in our marriage.</p>
<p>I have recently found a passion in choral conducting (in the past 10 years). Had I followed this musical path in my 20's, I would be degreed and possibly doing this as a teacher and making money. Instead I volunteer, which still feeds my soul and I love it! My education is continuous; I take classes here and there, but don't want to be tied to a school schedule so I can visit and play with 7 grandchildren, garden and serve in my church and community.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, for all you do. It wasn't easy raising 4 children, one of whom is in recovery (we hope). You were one of my anchors! My folks never dealt with troubled kids (they think we were all perfect, ha!) I guess that is something else I wish I had known - that it was okay not to be perfect because nobody is. I found Al Anon, then served with my husband in an addiction recovery program at our church. You gave me courage and ammo when I dealt with my teenage children. Funny, when I think about my childhood and pictured myself as a mom, I always pictured me with babies and toddlers, not with teenagers. When people ask me how old my children are, I tell them they are all elderly (28-34).</p>
<p>I love you,</p>
<p>Denise</p>
Staff
2017-08-17T17:58:00Z
My Child Was the Bully!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Child-Was-the-Bully!/-336229979286210157.html
2017-08-17T17:57:00Z
2017-08-17T17:57:00Z
<br />
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I will start out by saying my child did not act wonderful, sweet or cute at school yesterday. So this is not another "My child is beautiful and perfect" email. This email will confirm that my child will grow up to become a beautiful and wonderful man. I give you partial credit.</p>
<p>Many times the subject of school bullying has come up on your program. The best way to stop bullying is to file a police report. That thought never occurred to me -- yes, stupid parent alert so I appreciate your wisdom on this subject. Never did I think MY child would be the one that would need to be reported. Below is the letter I received from my child's school yesterday and my reply. Thanks to your wisdom, there will be one less bully. My child knows that when his mother makes a threat she ALWAYS follows through. When I explained to my son that if this ever happened again he would not have to worry about losing recess privileges or any privileges at home, his eyes lit up. I said, "The school and your parents will not have a chance to take privileges away from you. We will visit the police station and they can take them from you." His eyes lost the "I got away with it" glow. I asked "If someone hurt me what would I do?" He said, "Call the police." I said, "You are no different. If you hit someone, you should have the police called on you. This will protect others from getting hurt." We have never discussed bullying in our home so that is the only reason he got off with a warning. I explained that to him, too. I told him, "I love you very much, but I will take all actions necessary. I was a victim of a bully when I was young and I wished someone would have taken that bully and locked her up." He started crying. I continued, "If you do not listen to your teachers or parents, I will have no choice but to contact the police who will force you to listen." I have never seen my son turn white so fast. He promised he would never be a bully again. I looked him straight in the eyes and said, "That promise needs to be made to yourself, not me. You are the one who will sleep in a jail cell at night, not me. That kid you hurt could be called as a witness someday to put you in jail, should this happen again."</p>
<p>Thanks to listening to your show, I was an empowered mother who handled a tough situation with ease. More mothers should follow suit. If you ever get another email from me it will be to let you know I filed a police report on my child. The look on his face last night told me...you won't be getting one.</p>
<p>Thank you.</p>
<p>Breanna</p>
<p> </p>
<p>P.S. - My husband was impressed at how his girlfriend handled the situation; So thanks for that as well.</p>
<p> </p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Note from school:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">E. was involved in an incident at lunch recess today. He was caught kicking another student on the top of the hill. I talked to him about his behavior during his afternoon recess. As a result of his actions, he is no longer allowed to play on the hill during recess. I reviewed the rules of KHAFOOTY (Keep Hands And Feet and Other Objects to Yourself) and the 1-2-3 Rule (1. Ask to Stop 2. Walk Away 3. Tell an Adult) with him. Please review the rules and sign stating you have discussed this behavior with him. If you have any questions, feel free to email or call me. Thank you!</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"> </p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Note from Mom:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">I have told E. that bullying will not be permitted in our house. If I ever hear of him harming a child again, I will contact the police department and they can tell him what happens to people when they do bodily harm to others. I think after our talk you will notice Ethan will keep his hands and feet to himself.</p>
Staff
2017-08-17T17:57:00Z
Traits Of Mental Maturity
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Traits-Of-Mental-Maturity/748329955988657252.html
2017-08-16T17:58:00Z
2017-08-16T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I think a mentally mature woman keeps her cool even when her husband does or says something wrong about her in public. His actions may hurt her feelings, but she discusses it with him at a later time, in private, with a cool head. This is how respect and maturing in your marriage happens. <br /><br />A couple of weeks ago my husband said something to someone important to us that was untrue and hurt my feelings. It made me sound like a selfish wife. After 28 years of marriage, I let it go. I discussed it with him in private the next day, after he had had some rest. I did not attack him. He already felt bad, he didn't mean it to come out that way. He said "<em>I realized as soon as I said it, that it didn't come out right. That was not what I meant, and I do apologize.</em>" <br /><br />All is forgiven! Which is also a trait of a mature woman, immediate forgiveness. <br /><br />Love You, Dr. Laura!!! <br /><br /><br />Keep preaching your messages, I am a fan of over 30 years. :-)</p>
Staff
2017-08-16T17:58:00Z
Setting And Reaching Your Goals
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Setting-And-Reaching-Your-Goals/-539892245556720813.html
2017-08-16T17:56:00Z
2017-08-16T17:56:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Not too long ago, I signed myself up for a kitchen challenge. Every day for 20 days, I would receive an email with a certain task to complete for my kitchen. The end result is to have a tidy, organized and stocked kitchen ready for anything! I am a pretty tidy woman, as cleaning can relieve stress for me. When I read some of the days challenges I found myself saying, I've done that! I do that! That's clean! Then I would I would skip to the next day, without fully completing the previous task. <br /><br />I heard you in the back of my mind saying, "You might have done it your way, but not the way I'm telling you to do it!" With this resonating in my mind, I said to myself, the point Dr. Lara is making is right. I may already have a tidy & organized kitchen, but I haven't fully completed the tasks in the challenge. I am pleased to inform you that I decided to get down to business and completed the challenge wholeheartedly! Listening to this piece of advice from you has led me to accomplish a seemingly small challenge. More importantly, I am proud of my self for setting & reaching this goal. <br /><br />Thanks for all you do! <br /><br />Brit<br />
Staff
2017-08-16T17:56:00Z
A True Awakening
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-True-Awakening/602373724648033230.html
2017-08-15T17:58:00Z
2017-08-15T17:58:00Z
<p>I just want to thank you. I know I am "late" in reading your books "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” and “…Feeding of Marriage,” but I can honestly say better late than never.</p>
<p>It has been a rough road the past year for me and my family. I was going through what I call a "feminist phase" driven and fueled by negative friends and family as well as my own resentments and insecurities. I filed for divorce thinking it was the thing to do without even consulting my husband on how I was feeling. Long story short, my time being separated from him made me realize how stupid and wrong I had been and just how much our daughters need him home. I dismissed the divorce, we went to marriage counseling and he eventually moved back home.<br /> <br />I now try to spend every day showing him how much his slaying of dragons means to me and he is truly my hero. I still fight my insecurities on a daily basis but I am no longer constantly nagging him for the constant reassurance of his love and approval or resenting my position in the home as a stay at home mom.<br /> <br />Thank you Dr Laura for giving the gift of a true awakening...</p>
<p>Jane</p>
Staff
2017-08-15T17:58:00Z
A Lesson in Kindness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Lesson-in-Kindness/-526695291653477895.html
2017-08-15T17:57:00Z
2017-08-15T17:57:00Z
<p>My 5 year old grandson attends a Catholic school. His Mother came to pick him up and noticed a Dad was removing the pink polo type shirt his son had been dressed in that day. The little boy was crying.</p>
<p>My daughter in law asked, "Mike, why are you crying" and he responded the boys in the class had make fun of him for wearing the pink shirt. My daughter in law said, "I hope my son was not one of those boys." Mike told her indeed he had made fun of Mike. My daughter in law then verified with the teacher what had happened and made her plan to teach my grandson a leason.</p>
<p>My grandson had his own pink polo shirt at home and my daughter in law made him wear it to school the next day. He also had to apologize to Mike and given him a big hug. My grandson also received some teasing about his pink shirt at school. Hopefully he learned a leason about kindness and not hurting the feelings of others.</p>
<p>Kathy </p>
Staff
2017-08-15T17:57:00Z
Taking The Time To Understand Him
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-The-Time-To-Understand-Him/845759661669884267.html
2017-08-14T17:58:00Z
2017-08-14T17:58:00Z
<br />Dearest Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate your advice while listening to your show. I've been married for almost 27 years now and our relationship has gotten so strong in the past year and a half. We always loved each other but listening to your callers and your advice has opened my eyes to understand my husband better than ever. <br /><br />His love for me is amazing and I am totally in love with him all over again. Even with all the issues that have happened. I have begun to understand his thinking. Thank you for your help by just helping others. <br /><br />Love and Light, <br /><br />Jenny<br /><br />
Staff
2017-08-14T17:58:00Z
The Power Of Redirection
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Power-Of-Redirection/-809267684915610648.html
2017-08-14T17:57:00Z
2017-08-14T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I just want to thank you for changing my life. I've learned so many things from listening to you. <br /><br />I have severe anxiety and today I had to have an MRI of my back. As they moved me in the small tunnel all I could think of was what I have heard you repeat many times. "<em>You can change your thoughts if you redirect them.</em>" <br /><br />I'm not going to lie, I had the death grip on the button to push if I needed a rescue. Regardless of how stressed I was during that 45 minutes of small space, redirecting my thoughts got me through it!! While I still had pain, I had a smile on my face when I was done. <br /><br />Thank you for being there for so many of us that listen.</p>
Staff
2017-08-14T17:57:00Z
One In A Million
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/One-In-A-Million/-591680600941215150.html
2017-08-11T17:58:00Z
2017-08-11T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr.Laura, <br /><br />I listen to your podcasts every morning while I walk. I am never disappointed! <br /><br />I just want you to know what a gift you have and how much you help me and millions of others every day. My husband and I make it part of our daily routine to listen to you, and he feels the same way I do. He is a busy surgeon but fits you into his schedule nearly every day. <br /><br />Thank you for sharing this gift you have with all of us, you are truly one in a million. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Maddy</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-08-11T17:58:00Z
The Value Of Stay At Home Mothers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Value-Of-Stay-At-Home-Mothers/-924721369342259530.html
2017-08-11T17:57:00Z
2017-08-11T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am a massive fan of your philosophies and have asked for your advice on more than one occasion. Thank you for your straight forward approach and your dedication to coaching all of us on maintaining our moral values and obligations. <br /><br />I was just browsing through the help wanted ads online and came upon this ad placed by a new mother asking to employ someone to care for her 2-month-old infant. I gasped and my heart is breaking for the infant. I'm sorry to say, I just wanted to reach through the computer, grab and shake sense into her!! I am oh so familiar with all of the important things children are deprived of when their mothers are focused on everything else BUT their child's needs.<br /><br /></p>
<blockquote>Care For Newborn St. Louis, MO <br />Hi!, I am looking for care for my 2-month-old. I will be going back to work soon and need someone available as early as 5 a.m. and late as 2 a.m. Someone with a vehicle and a place or someone who doesn't mind sitting at my place would be great. I also have an 11-year-old who won't need to be watched. Please be 100% reliable! Please be sweet, kind, loving and nurturing. Someone who can provide my baby with undivided attention would be ideal. My daughter is bottle fed breast milk so please be familiar.</blockquote>
<br />Please continue to share the message that the best care, love and attention and nurturing must always be provided by a child's mother! The only one who can provide what she is asking for is HER!!!<br /><br /><br />Thank you!
<p> </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-08-11T17:57:00Z
Living at Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Living-at-Home/378976584006831877.html
2017-08-10T17:58:00Z
2017-08-10T17:58:00Z
<p>After college, I had the opportunity to take a job in my hometown. The pay was so low, I would have to live at home. My mother said "No". She said if I didn't break out of my comfort zone and spread my wings at that time, I never would. A couple of weeks later, I got another opportunity in much larger city. I am so grateful for the "tough love" from my parents which pushed me to keep looking and launched a wonderful career in a profession I love.</p>
<p>Contrary to that: my ex-in-laws harbor their oldest son (he's pushing 50). They lost everything in the real estate collapse and only live off social security... and their grown son lives with them, does not work (he owes 30K in back child support) and doesn't even do chores. Their financial condition is such they may go on food stamps. It infuriates me, so I limit contact will all involved. They've made excuses for him all of his life and continue to do so to their detriment, and that of my child (their grandchild). I can't imagine a grandparent willing to tolerate and fully support a capable adult child who won't work, making them financially unable to drive to see their grandchildren.<br /><br />E.</p>
Staff
2017-08-10T17:58:00Z
Being Defensive
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-Defensive/-229500063020801543.html
2017-08-10T17:57:00Z
2017-08-10T17:57:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br /> <br />The other day I read an interesting thing which made a lot of sense to me. I think you too will find it quite interesting.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Sometimes people are a lot like dogs. When a dog barks and howls, he is protecting something. So, when you are having a disagreement with someone and they start "barking and howling", you have to ask yourself...<br />"What are they protecting?"</p>
</blockquote>
<p><br />To me this is a very enlightening concept. Usually when people get extremely defensive, loud and argumentative they are "protecting" something such as their way of life, their beliefs, the status quo or something else. And they don't want to change. Anyway, I thought you would find this interesting.</p>
<p>I listen to your show every day on Sirius/XM radio and really appreciate your point of view. I have been listening to you for many years and your common sense advice has assisted me in making difficult decisions and helping me mold a life I am now very proud of. Thank you very much for giving of yourself to help so many people in need.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Risa</p>
Staff
2017-08-10T17:57:00Z
Perceiving Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Perceiving-Life/888054583584787564.html
2017-08-09T17:58:00Z
2017-08-09T17:58:00Z
<p>My children are now 25 and 23. When they were little, my daughter would comment as we passed day care centers that she wanted to go to day care. I would explain how that meant me taking her there early in the morning and picking her up right before bedtime. She still wanted to go because she saw the children playing. Now at 23, she thanks me constantly for being at home with her as she sees how the children she knew who went to day care now perceive life. It was worth every sacrifice we made for me to stay home to now get validation of our decision. Everyone can do it if you really want to. Trust me, I now work at an elementary school and we can easily tell which children go to day care.</p>
<p>Susan</p>
Staff
2017-08-09T17:58:00Z
Through The Years
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Through-The-Years/659871549476521000.html
2017-08-09T17:57:00Z
2017-08-09T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I have been with my husband for 35 years and married for 32. We do a lot of the things you mentioned on your program. We hold hands in public and do little things to keep the love alive. Silly things, like him putting a slip of paper in a book I am reading that just says, "hey I love you, you are beautiful".<br /><br />Many friends have commented that they wish they had a marriage like ours. Long ago, many didn't think our marriage would make it. He was quite the wild guy when we first got together and I was much shyer than he was. Through the years we meshed together. I believe it is because deep down we had the same goals and values. <br /><br />We both wanted more for ourselves and the two daughters we had along the way. He is easy to please. Your book, "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060520620/noxsolutions-20/ref=nosim" target="_blank">Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>" let me know that I really was doing things right. Thank you for your program I listen every day. <br /><br />Now..go do the right thing! <br /><br />Linda <br /><br /></p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-08-09T17:57:00Z
Dealing With Loneliness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dealing-With-Loneliness/-338870845204341597.html
2017-08-08T17:58:00Z
2017-08-08T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Last summer, the woman I loved and was married to for 17 years decided that she didn't want to stay married to me. I loved her and did everything I can to take the best care of her. I have always been affectionate and been very caring. I did everything to save the marriage but nothing worked. I was devastated. <br /><br />For a long time I stopped caring about myself and didn't care if I lived or died. She was my world. The loneliness I felt as so hard. It seemed everything reminded me of my ex-wife. To help me with everything I felt a need to have a close relationship with god. Along with that I went to counseling. I had a great support system with my siblings and friends. What helped so much was to be able to talk about the emotions I was going through. It never helps to bottle everything up inside. <br /><br />Today my life is so much better. I am a happy person again and I have gotten my life back together. What people need to know is: When you go through hard times, it sucks. The important thing is to get up. Brush yourself off and never give up. <br /><br />I love your show and you are a blessing to us all. I listen every day and I admire you. Thanks for being the person you are.</p>
Staff
2017-08-08T17:58:00Z
Bring Your Mom To School Day
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bring-Your-Mom-To-School-Day/-643289996987292191.html
2017-08-08T17:57:00Z
2017-08-08T17:57:00Z
<p><br />When my son was in high school his grades were not great. He is almost genius level, so it wasn't that the work was too hard. His rebellion was his grades. He thought he was the smartest person in the room, teacher included. <br /><br />When he brought home a D and was attending a private school. I told him "<em>I am going to your school and sit with you until the grades come up.</em>" The next day he said the teacher would accept an extra credit to bring it up, which he has already done and the teacher revised his grade, which he showed me. <br /><br />I said that unless he brought home at least all B's, next quarter, that my promise of going to school with him still stood. The grades issue evaporated. He is now a successful developer with a very successful company in Seattle. Stay safe and thanks for your good work. <br /><br />Sally</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-08-08T17:57:00Z
The Value of a Dollar
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Value-of-a-Dollar/71684140612661507.html
2017-08-07T17:58:00Z
2017-08-07T17:58:00Z
<p>The majority of Moms do NOT need to work. It depends where their priorities are and how much they are willing to sacrifice. My sister and her husband live 45+ miles from any major town and raised 4 children. He works, she does not.</p>
<p>They have paid cash for every suburban with 4wheel drive they have ever purchased. All four children went to gymnastics for several years. How did they do it? I swear my sister can make every dollar turn into a $1.25. When you go to their home you are greeted with meals cooked from scratch, drink out of 8 oz yogurt plastic containers for cups, eat off simple mismatched dishes. Ziplock bags are washed out and reused and much more of this nature. She bought clothes when needed, mended lots of clothes and did not wear the latest fashions. I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. We were all raised to appreciate the value of the dollar and have 'gone green' most of our lives.</p>
<p>Our folks taught us the value of family. Once I asked my Mom why she didn't go to PTA meetings and volunteer. Her response paraphrased was "If I did that then I would have to get someone else to take care of you all the time - Best just to take care of my own and do these things when you are up an out." She was right… we need to take care of our own first.<br /><br />Jackie</p>
Staff
2017-08-07T17:58:00Z
Making Life Easier for My Wife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Life-Easier-for-My-Wife/50130593920688139.html
2017-08-07T17:57:00Z
2017-08-07T17:57:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I just wanted to take a minute to answer your question about what I did for my wife when we were expecting our first and now what I am doing as we expect number two!</p>
<p>I HATE feet. They are smelly and sweaty and disgusting but my wife LOVES to have her feet massaged, so every day after I would come home from work, I would sit on the couch as she laid on the other end putting her feet in my lap. I would watch some of my favorite shows as I massaged her feet between various calls for mango with chile pepper and running down to get a "Super Nachos" from her favorite nacho joint. I would attend as many of the prenatal appointments as was possible (I got to all but two of them!) and would ask the doctor questions myself about what was happening and what to expect. I also took an interest in what she was learning about what was going on with my little girl as she developed in the womb. This gave my wife and I something to talk about and helped me feel more involved in the pregnancy. She enjoyed this too because she could share her fears with me in a way I could understand. We were also able to share some good laughs as we both huddled around her belly playing Mozart and Led Zeppelin (ya know, the classics) to the baby. Just knowing I was there for her not only physically, financially, and spiritually but taking an active role in learning what was happening inside her really helped our marriage, friendship and understanding during the first pregnancy. I did everything I could so she could stay home in the final months and relax. She is still a stay-at-home Mom and we couldn't be happier about how my beautiful girl is doing.</p>
<p>During this pregnancy, my wife is still at home but with the added challenge of having a one and half year old running around asking to play "Ring around t he Rosie" every 5 seconds. I still try to make it to all of the appointments I can and massage her aching feet. On the weekends, I let her sleep as much as she wants while my daughter and I get some much needed daddy-daughter play time. We go to the store and do some grocery shopping or get the tires rotated or even go down to the ocean to watch the waves. Momma gives me a call when she gets up and then we head home to get Mom so we can all have a relaxing lunch. I also try to do the cooking on the weekends so my wife can enjoy "hanging out" again. Cooking is kinda fun because my daughter will sit on my shoulders and help me get things out of the cupboards and hold spatula's for me. She is handy like that!</p>
<p>Well, that kind of sums it up Dr. Laura. I have to thank you as well for helping inspire us to be the best kind of logical people we can be. I heard a quote once, I don't remember where, that said, "Always be yourself, but always be your better self!" I think that is good advice and something we try to do. Thanks for everything!</p>
<p>Tanner</p>
<div id="_mcePaste" class="mcePaste" style="position: absolute; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden; top: 0px; left: -10000px;"></div>
Staff
2017-08-07T17:57:00Z
Legos Start Early In Our Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Legos-Start-Early-In-Our-Family/-110227549429745245.html
2017-08-04T17:58:00Z
2017-08-04T17:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I've enjoyed your commentary on Legos - yes, they are addictive! One of my greatest joys as an engineer approaching 40 is being able to share my love for Legos with the little ones around me. <br /><br />As I and my 2-year-old niece opened her first set of Legos, I firmly told her "<em>Instructions are very important. You must always read the instructions!</em>" Interestingly enough, instructions became an obsession. We can't open ANYTHING around her, without an inspection for the instructions and a stern warning that they must be followed. <br /><br />When I visit, we play Legos. We have built houses, pet stores, castles, and cars. For her 4th birthday, we built airplanes! Multiple airplanes, with a hangar, tugs, and lots of people! She doesn't just build these with me, she invents stories - that's a skill my Dad has been working on with her since before she was a year old. <br /><br />I love that our time together is about creativity and sharing in the success of starting from parts, organizing and assembling them, and reaching a finished product in the end. No TV, no iPad, no phone. And luckily we have never had to worry about her eating the Legos! Keep having fun! And thanks for the smiles.</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-08-04T17:58:00Z
Making Future Husbands
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Future-Husbands/746226978812321652.html
2017-08-04T17:57:00Z
2017-08-04T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Last month my husband of 24 years and our 2 sons, ages 21 and 19 went on a road trip. We stopped at a large, very popular, retail store to go to the bathroom and get snacks. My older son walked with my husband. My younger son 19 walked with me. I needed to go to the bathroom. He didn't need to use the restroom, so I just told him to go look for snacks and I would find him when I came out. <br /><br />He said that the store looked a little "<em>sketchy</em>" so he would rather wait for me so I wouldn't have to walk by myself. This just made my heart glad! I think both of my boys will be good husbands. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Gillian</p>
Staff
2017-08-04T17:57:00Z
The Guidance You Provide
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Guidance-You-Provide/-441953632906970848.html
2017-08-03T17:58:00Z
2017-08-03T17:58:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>I was recently listening to your podcast when I heard you mention that you had no intention of retiring. <br /><br />For that, I wanted to take a second and send you personal Thank You! <br /><br />I have been listening to you for a long time now. Your insight provided to listeners is highly valuable, as there are no other voices like yours on radio or television that I know of. Our young people need the guidance you provide. <br /><br />Thank you again for all that you do. <br /><br />Abby</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-08-03T17:58:00Z
Learning From Your Mistakes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-From-Your-Mistakes/257902473662013703.html
2017-08-03T17:57:00Z
2017-08-03T17:57:00Z
<p><br />The best thing I learned from failure is helping to teach others from my mistakes. Everyone makes their own mistakes and has failures sometimes every day. <br /><br />So if I can help someone make one less mistake, why not help?<br /><br />Thank you for reminding us that failure is a significant part of learning and being human. </p>
Staff
2017-08-03T17:57:00Z
I Found Balance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Found-Balance/373396063989418813.html
2017-08-02T17:58:00Z
2017-08-02T17:58:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>The other day my 11 year old son asked me why I listened to you. Surprisingly, I did not have an answer. I had to think about it for a few days, and then God brought me revelation.</p>
<p>I was raised by my paternal grandmother who was a God fearing woman who believed you needed to be nice to everyone no matter what and that everyone, down deep, was nice. My biological mother, who I did not see that often maybe spring break for a week, or a weekend here and there, believed you needed to stand up and fight about every little thing, and be as irrational as you wanted to be while doing it. In you, I find balance. You help me to know when to stand up and how to do it, and you also teach me how to be gracious to people when I really do not have to fight. You teach me how to be loving.</p>
<p>You are the mother I never had. Thank you.</p>
<p>Peace and Grace in Christ,</p>
<p>Shereese</p>
Staff
2017-08-02T17:58:00Z
Push Ups
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Push-Ups/116962949476298441.html
2017-08-02T17:57:00Z
2017-08-02T17:57:00Z
<p>I love your advice and have followed you for about 15 years. I have now been VERY happily married for 12 years and I know that is partly because of listening to you and taking the advice you provide every day. I am an attorney, my husband is an MBA Engineer from USC. <br /><br />Anyway, I want you to know I love the information you provide regarding fitness. It is hard with two dogs, two kids and a part-time career (the part-time aspect is also partly due to your influence) to keep fit when I would rather spend my free time with my kids. I LOVE the push-up suggestions. I am fit and just did 10, no problem. I will do another 10 before I go to bed. But I now know I have to do more to beat your little butt!! <br /><br />Keep going Dr. Laura. I have Sirius so I can listen to you!!</p>
<p><br />Denise</p>
Staff
2017-08-02T17:57:00Z
Chivalry Is Not Dead In My House
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Chivalry-Is-Not-Dead-In-My-House/112915019516320896.html
2017-08-01T17:58:00Z
2017-08-01T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I recently caught a portion of your program where you were commenting on men being gentlemen. My husband is the epitome of the Southern gentleman! <br /><br />He opens doors for me; he moves me to the inside of the sidewalk; he drives almost everywhere; he will even pull in behind me to pump my gas for me if we are driving separately! We are both teaching our two young sons the art of being a gentleman, but my husband is leading by example. <br /><br />The other day, I asked our 7-year-old son, to hold the door open for two ladies. They thanked him. I prompted him to say "<em>you're welcome</em>". One of the ladies patted me on the shoulder and said: "<em>good job, Mama</em>". While I would love to take the credit, I know that they are merely following what they see their Daddy living out on a daily basis. <br /><br />Chivalry is not dead...at least not in our house! After ten years of marriage later this month it is not even taking a nap. Thank you for keeping up the good fight and for keeping our moral compasses pointed in the right direction. <br /><br />Jaime</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-08-01T17:58:00Z
The Bottom Line Of Parenting
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Bottom-Line-Of-Parenting/-986706428907371506.html
2017-08-01T17:57:00Z
2017-08-01T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura! <br /><br />On <a href="https://twitter.com/drlauraprogram" target="_blank">Twitter</a>, you asked what the hardest part of parenting was. For me, it would have to be the fear of repeating the type of relationship that I have with my mother, with my own children. I love my mother and would do anything for her but there have been a lot of things that have happened in the past that has damaged our relationship. <br /><br />I just want to be a source of strength and stability for my children, even when they are adults. Thanks for all you do to help us Momma's out there! You're a great example for us all. <br /><br />Love, <br /><br />Diana</p>
Staff
2017-08-01T17:57:00Z
Changed Careers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changed-Careers/337897324942692411.html
2017-07-31T17:58:00Z
2017-07-31T17:58:00Z
<p>I'm a stay-at-home Mom. (Thank goodness.) I been a listener since my late twenties (I'm circling 50 now). When my husband I got married, we agreed, if we were ever blessed with children, I would change careers and be a mommy instead. Listening to you further backed up my resolve.</p>
<p>After ten years of marriage, we were blessed with a beautiful little boy. My friends thought I was crazy to leave a government job after 17 years to raise our child, but I heard you in the back of my mind and pressed forward. I only wavered after 9/11 (my son was just two-months-old) because I felt guilty not being at my job and serving my country. I decided staying home and raising a well adjusted member of society was a better service to my country and I stayed strong.</p>
<p>In April of 2004, my husband passed away from a freak accident at work. My son was just 2 and a half. I don't know how we could have managed if I was still working. My son had me at home as always; someone he could rely on being there. I had a routine and someone to wake up for each day. It has been a struggle, but I see a self-confident almost ten-year-old coming home each day from school and I know I did the right thing; I can't imagine who and how he would be if I was at work.</p>
<p>Thanks for your back up. I am thankful I am my kid's mom.</p>
<p>Debra</p>
Staff
2017-07-31T17:58:00Z
My Pug Listens
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Pug-Listens/-634209967488704788.html
2017-07-31T17:57:00Z
2017-07-31T17:57:00Z
<p>I was listening to the podcast of your show the other day while my pug was sitting next to me on the sofa. You did one of your "screams," and my sleeping pug immediately sat up, looked over at my laptop, and tilted his head from side to side trying to figure out what that noise was.</p>
<p>So, if you ever have trouble getting your dogs' attention (which I'm sure is never an issue since they are so well-trained), you should know your on-air screams can bring a dog to immediate attention (even if it doesn't always work on the humans).</p>
<p>Thanks for the wonderful program and all you do to protect the interests of children.</p>
<p>K.</p>
Staff
2017-07-31T17:57:00Z
A Real Role Model
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Real-Role-Model/689159000388043284.html
2017-07-27T17:58:00Z
2017-07-27T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br /> I just want to thank you. I listen to your podcast and I know you have gone through some really traumatic things in the past 2 years. I don't know how many times you have used your personal experience to help others in the similar situations. It is so touching to hear you put yourself out there. <br /><br />You are a real role model. Thank you for upholding values in this quickly crumbling society. I wish you good health and a long life! We need your voice. </p>
Staff
2017-07-27T17:58:00Z
Would Dr. Laura Be Proud Of Me?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Would-Dr.-Laura-Be-Proud-Of-Me/68088211425072192.html
2017-07-27T17:57:00Z
2017-07-27T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />A few months ago I got reconnected with an old friend of mine, whom which I had feelings for in the past. At the time she was living with her boyfriend so I didn't act on them. Eventually, I heard that she broke up with her boyfriend. I thought now is my time to get back into her life. <br /><br />We seemed to hit it off, going for walks and out to eat. I didn't want to rush into anything. Because listening to you, it appears that relationships that aren't rushed seem to have a better success rate. Out of the clear blue, she texts me that she is in love with her landlord. He lives in a different state and she's flying out to see him. Did I mention that she only knew him for less than two weeks? <br /><br />I was devastated at first. Then I started thinking of what Dr. Laura would say. Inside my head, you said that what she is doing is out of lust and not love and that she would not be a good fit for me anyway. I guess it gave me comfort to know that what I wanted her to be isn't what she truly was. I really didn't lose anything except the fantasy of what I wanted her to be. <br /><br />Thank you for keeping me on the straight and narrow. I always ask myself when it comes to how to treat a woman, would Dr. Laura be proud of me?</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-07-27T17:57:00Z
Techonology is a Double-Edged Sword
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Techonology-is-a-Double-Edged-Sword/-783406400025542392.html
2017-07-26T17:58:00Z
2017-07-26T17:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Like so many other things, advances in technology both help and harm our relationship. So often my wife and I comment we are grateful we did not have to deal with texting, facebook updates, and twitter feeds when we were dating. My wife claims I would not have married her if all of her awkward past was so accessible to me when we were dating, I beg to differ.</p>
<p>Modern technology helps our relationships with friends, allowing us to keep up with people we would otherwise lose track of, and even reconnect with people. Conversely, all that time spent keeping track of others can be harmful to a relationship when it takes time away from actually being together. It is disheartening to come home from work when dinner has not been started and my wife is browsing Facebook or Pinterest.</p>
<p>Important family and friendship relationships are not rooted in emails or Facebook, they come from spending time together in some form. Technology relationships are for distant cousins and "pie crust" friends to quote Mary Poppins "Easily made, easily broken."</p>
<p>Thank you for all your great insights,</p>
<p>Michael</p>
Staff
2017-07-26T17:58:00Z
Made Two Simple Changes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Made-Two-Simple-Changes/-29888555425494995.html
2017-07-26T17:57:00Z
2017-07-26T17:57:00Z
<p>This morning my husband said, "I'm so lucky I have the best wife in the world!" Dr. Laura, we are not newlyweds, but have been married 35 years.</p>
<p>We always had a good marriage, but five years ago I read your book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. I made a vow at that time to do two things: I would never again say no to sex, and I would ban any negative talk about my husband from my speech or thoughts (the last being the harder part). I realized how I had gotten in the habit of thinking negative things: Why doesn't he do it the right way? Why can't he just get to the point? etc.</p>
<p>So, fast forward to today and I can truly say our marriage is stupendous, excellent, wonderful! These were simple things any woman can do, even if you don't feel like making the effort. Just do it! The pay off is definitely worth it. And you will find your love for the wonderful man you chose deepens into the best kind of life partnership anyone could wish for. So glad I read your book. Thank you.</p>
<p>P.</p>
Staff
2017-07-26T17:57:00Z
Moving More, Eating Less
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Moving-More,-Eating-Less/-264882888309753960.html
2017-07-25T17:58:00Z
2017-07-25T17:58:00Z
<p>One of the ways I keep myself moving more is by not waiting until I FEEL like it. If I don't feel like working out (which is most of the time!), I tell myself to at least go for a minimum time (which for me personally, is a 30-minute cardio session - very doable) and I can stop after the minimum time is met. I almost always go longer, and sometimes my energy level INCREASES while I'm at the gym or working out and I kick out a great workout.</p>
<p>As for eating less, that's always a struggle, but I don't want to undo my workout, so I use that as an incentive. Last year, I lost 30 pounds by eating less (and much healthier food) and working out. All the while I was doing this, I had hypothyroidism (I didn't know it at the time), so I don't accept thyroid problem excuses from people when they use that as an excuse to be lazy.</p>
<p>Thanks for being such an inspiring woman, Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>Jennifer</p>
Staff
2017-07-25T17:58:00Z
Remember He's a Man, Not a Woman
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Remember-Hes-a-Man,-Not-a-Woman/-731014810361285694.html
2017-07-25T17:57:00Z
2017-07-25T17:57:00Z
<p>I am 30 years old, married to a wonderful man with three children ages 6, 5 and 1. My father-in-law gave me your book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands," almost 8 years ago for Christmas. As a young, naive woman, I was offended he thought that was a good idea. I put it on the shelf and never read it.</p>
<p>My husband and I recently started to go down a road I thought we never would. I have prayed and prayed for the wisdom God needed me to have in order to restore my marriage. About four days ago, I went to the shelf and started to thumb through your book. Low and behold, God's plan was at my fingertips the whole time. Between my daily devotions and the knowledge I have found in your book, I feel like a new woman. My husband is happy again and I in return am happier than I have been in a long time. I know what you're saying...that it's only been four days since you start to transform your thinking! But it's true, when I stopped wanting my husband to think like a WOMAN and I was NICE to him on a daily basis and loved him the way I should, life completely changed!!! I have been neglecting him so much in the last eight years, it devastates me.</p>
<p>I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being so straight forward and cutting through all the crap. I needed a good butt chewing and I got it. I know we have a lot of work to do to keep our marriage strong but I have made a promise to myself: I will take it one day at a time and do everything I can to keep things in perspective and remember he's a man, NOT A WOMAN!!</p>
<p>Thank you for everything!</p>
<p>Brittany</p>
Staff
2017-07-25T17:57:00Z
My Solution to Being Lonely
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Solution-to-Being-Lonely/520859722679499982.html
2017-07-24T17:58:00Z
2017-07-24T17:58:00Z
<br />Dear "<em>sister chick</em>" Laura: <br /><br />I can't call you "<em>mother</em>" because we are the same age! All the recent talk about loneliness made me want to share my solution. I have been retired for 1 year from driving a big rig with my husband of 20 years. He is not only my sweetie but my best friend. After being with him 24/7 in the truck for 18 years, I miss him terribly and worry about his safety when he is on the road. <br /><br />I have found that the key to NOT being lonely is to stay very active. I volunteer at our church twice a week. I go to auctions and estate sales very regularly. I find interesting items which I sell on eBay. Not only is my business a nice supplement to our income but it has become lots of fun! I have met many interesting people at auctions and go out to lunch with them frequently. I now don't have time to be lonely! <br /><br />Keep up the wonderful work you do. You are an inspiration to us all. God Bless and keep you healthy!<br /><br />Kelly
Staff
2017-07-24T17:58:00Z
The Power Of Legos
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Power-Of-Legos/535963676261327563.html
2017-07-24T17:57:00Z
2017-07-24T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi, Dr. Laura! <br /><br />I've been a long time listener for over 20 years. I love your show and have learned so much from your wisdom. I think it's really fun that you're into Legos now, and talk about it on your show. <br /><br />My son is 10 and has Autism. He has a lot of struggles in life, but one thing he is AMAZING at...is Legos! They make him happy, and it's something that comes naturally to him. He can take very extensive Lego sets and build them with ease! So if you ever need help, come on over! Lol. <br /><br />Love you Dr. Laura, and keep doing the wonderful work you do! <br /><br />Jenny</p>
<br /><br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-07-24T17:57:00Z
Lessons for Raising Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lessons-for-Raising-Kids/-223755525505161970.html
2017-07-21T17:58:00Z
2017-07-21T17:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>In the early 1990's, (my then) shack-up honey and I started listening to you. We were raising (my now) husband's, 10 year old daughter. I immediately loved your program and listened everyday. Both of us were so confused in raising a 10 year old. From you we learned: <br />1) kids don't own anything while they are still in our care. <br />2) As parents, we have the right to search their room if we believe there is reason for it. 3) When they dispute discipline and consequences, because of their wrong choices, there is no reason for arguing as we are the parents and they are the child.<br />4) We learned from you, a child needs to feel loved and secure, so we got married to give his daughter – now OUR daughter – security, my commitment to her, and stability.</p>
<p>Dr Laura, I’m thankful for you because she is now a 30 year old mother who embraced true principles and fundamental values we learned from you and your callers problems and dilemmas and our course our faith in God. If only I had heard you when I was raising my son who is now 40 years old.</p>
<p>Thank you for all you contribute to society about values and truth! I now put all I've learned from you in practice with my grandkids!</p>
<p>D.</p>
Staff
2017-07-21T17:58:00Z
Living at Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Living-at-Home/-489307919458999572.html
2017-07-21T17:57:00Z
2017-07-21T17:57:00Z
<p>After college, I had the opportunity to take a job in my hometown. The pay was so low, I would have to live at home. My mother said "No". She said if I didn't break out of my comfort zone and spread my wings at that time, I never would. A couple of weeks later, I got another opportunity in much larger city. I am so grateful for the "tough love" from my parents which pushed me to keep looking and launched a wonderful career in a profession I love.</p>
<p>Contrary to that: my ex-in-laws harbor their oldest son (he's pushing 50). They lost everything in the real estate collapse and only live off social security... and their grown son lives with them, does not work (he owes 30K in back child support) and doesn't even do chores. Their financial condition is such they may go on food stamps. It infuriates me, so I limit contact will all involved. They've made excuses for him all of his life and continue to do so to their detriment, and that of my child (their grandchild). I can't imagine a grandparent willing to tolerate and fully support a capable adult child who won't work, making them financially unable to drive to see their grandchildren.<br /><br />E.</p>
Staff
2017-07-21T17:57:00Z
Living In The Basement
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Living-In-The-Basement/309177987010268002.html
2017-07-20T17:58:00Z
2017-07-20T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I was listening the other day to your program and got a really good laugh from one of your listeners. She had called in to ask how to get her husband to "<em>step</em>" up more. They evidently had a baby but were living in his Mom's basement.<br /><br />That brought me back a few years ago. At about age 19 I was dating a man who I thought was "the one". We were discussing marriage when he brought up the notion that we would be living in his Mom's basement. I was mortified and told him that I would not be living in someone's basement. He couldn't understand why I was so upset. Needless to say, we broke up. <br /><br />I am not sure if he ever did move out of his Mom's basement. I was shocked to hear that another "<em>man</em>" had thought that living in his Mom's basement was a good idea. I, on the other hand, have been married to my wonderful husband for over 31 years. <br /><br />Thanks to you I am still his girlfriend.</p>
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Staff
2017-07-20T17:58:00Z
Dress To Impress
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dress-To-Impress/-359367594100274687.html
2017-07-20T17:57:00Z
2017-07-20T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I ran across an article today and I thought you would find very cute. It's about a woman who let her husband dress her for a week. She was surprised what he had selected. <br /><br />My favorite part reads: <br /><br /></p>
<blockquote>"<em>Life with my husband is one great wonderful occasion that's worth dressing up for every day.</em>"</blockquote>
<br />We get too caught up in life sometimes that we forget the importance of looking sexy for our husbands. It's a vital part in remaining his girlfriend. Because of you I now recognize that the little things do matter. <br /><br />Thank you! <br /><br />HUGS <br /><br />Click Here to read: "<em><a href="https://brightside.me/wonder-curiosities/i-let-my-husband-pick-my-outfits-for-a-week-333410/?utm_source=fb_brightside&utm_medium=fb_organic&utm_campaign=fb_gr_brightside" target="_blank">I Let My Husband Pick My Outfits For a Week</a>"</em><br /><br />
<p><img src="/images/blog/14258110--1493889607-650-04f9ebaa03-1494578413.jpg" alt="" /></p>
Staff
2017-07-20T17:57:00Z
Thank You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You/154304582085448814.html
2017-07-19T17:58:00Z
2017-07-19T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><span id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1500399560459_68287"><span id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1500399560459_68289">My husband and I recently drove from Manhattan to Houston to Dallas to Austin to Oklahoma City and then back to Manhattan; 95% of that drive time was spent listening to your show. </span><br id="yiv1289129579yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1498495043778_215630" /><br id="yiv1289129579yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1498495043778_215631" /><span id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1500399560459_68286">My husband and I have been together for five years and married just over a year now. While dating we started listening to your program and it gives us some incredible insight on how to treat one another and handle those difficult times. I find myself thinking, "<em>what would Dr. Laura tell me to do?</em>" When faced with difficult decisions inside and out of my marital relationship. </span><br id="yiv1289129579yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1498495043778_215633" /><br id="yiv1289129579yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1498495043778_215634" /><span id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1500399560459_68288">My husband loves and believes in your words so much that when his brother got married two years ago, he gave his bride to be your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1499721125&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Proper+Care+and+Feeding+of+Husbands" target="_blank">The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands</a></em>".</span><br id="yiv1289129579yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1498495043778_215636" /><br id="yiv1289129579yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1498495043778_215637" /><span id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1500399560459_68305">I just wanted to say "<em>Thank You</em>" for your work and genuine care for your listeners. </span></span></p>
Staff
2017-07-19T17:58:00Z
Cosmic Connection
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cosmic-Connection/371151540756913781.html
2017-07-19T17:57:00Z
2017-07-19T17:57:00Z
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<div id="yiv1544748145yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1500308360027_16749" dir="ltr"><br />My granddaughters are self-proclaimed Lego Masters. My lovely dining room table will never host another dinner because it is completely overtaken with Lego. The older one builds them and the younger one destroys. <br /><br />Today I rebuilt a castle and actually had all the pieces. I got in my car and tuned into your program and heard you talk about building the Star Wars vehicle. So crazy and timely. Rebuilding the castle by myself was a very therapeutic and engaging process. Then to hear you talk about the same thing was, as they used to say, "<em>cosmic</em>". <br /><br /> I think Legos are an amazing toy, regardless of one's age and I am feeling very validated that they have the Dr. Laura stamp of approval!!</div>
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Staff
2017-07-19T17:57:00Z
A Quick Chuckle
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Quick-Chuckle/-174187731947149337.html
2017-07-18T17:58:00Z
2017-07-18T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I walked in on a conversation my wife was having with our 21-year-old son, in which she was listing some of the character traits she really admires in him. <br /><br />I jumped into the conversation by saying, "<em>You know, he gets that from me, right?</em>" <br /><br />She replied, "<em>No, he gets it from me!</em>" <br /><br />Our son, who has a fairly dry wit, responded, "<em>You know when 2 negatives multiply it does produce a positive.</em>" <br /><br />My wife and I looked at each other and immediately burst out laughing. We got the point. Whether it's because of us or in spite of us, as he implied, he deserves full credit for the man he is becoming. <br /><br />Cheers!<br /><br />Ken</p>
Staff
2017-07-18T17:58:00Z
Blended Families
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Blended-Families/-651515095053211714.html
2017-07-18T17:57:00Z
2017-07-18T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I married the man of my dreams 2 years ago. I married him with no kids of my own. He has children from a previous marriage. The kids are well-behaved, respectful and he has a cordial working relationship with his ex-wife. All those things should be enough but they are not. <br /><br />We got pregnant on our honeymoon with our son. I find myself frustrated when his kids are here. I'm a stay-at-home mom but am resentful that I have to give my attention equally to his kids as well as my own son. My husband and I have had many disagreements about his children. Even though he tries to parent equally with me, it's just not working.<br /><br />Dr. Laura, I'm a good person and have never been jealous or angry before. Everyone looking in would think that we have it all together but I can tell you in my heart, I wish I had married someone with no kids, like me. I'm miserable a lot of the time trying to make it all work and wish I would have listened to your advice. <br /><br />I hope this helps other listeners out there to follow your advice. No matter how good it seems, blended families do not work. Thank you for all you do and keep up the good work. <br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Casey</p>
Staff
2017-07-18T17:57:00Z
Childhood Obesity
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Childhood-Obesity/279184860227511878.html
2017-07-17T17:58:00Z
2017-07-17T17:58:00Z
<p>My nephew who is 12 years old has been heavy most of his life. He loves the computer and all those hand-held games and surprisingly enough is a couch potato. He is in the 6th grade. I am thankful to a teacher who saw something in him and cared enough for him that she talked him into playing football. The child never had any interest in sports at all, but her conversation with him, he tried out for the team and made varsity. After playing the sport for the whole season he lost 61 pounds! He is able to get lower in his position and most important he walks now with is head held high. His self esteem improved 100%. I have told him the school should use him as an example to his fellow classmates that if you get off the couch and move you can improve your self imagine. I am so very proud of him!!</p>
<p>P.</p>
Staff
2017-07-17T17:58:00Z
Adjusting to Motherhood!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Adjusting-to-Motherhood!/603946144704770332.html
2017-07-17T17:57:00Z
2017-07-17T17:57:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>After hearing your comments regarding the adjustment time it takes to motherhood, I have to say thank you!</p>
<p>I am a very happily married mother of 2 young (and VERY BUSY!!!!) boys! I was happy to hear the adjustment period is normal! It's definitely something that scared me with my first! I had always wanted to be a SAHM with my kids and I was not lucky to have one, although I had a very hard working mom!</p>
<p>I wanted to SHOUT at the radio and say, "Caller, you aren't alone girl!"</p>
<p>The adjustment period was very difficult for me, BUT after that initial 'hump', things made a complete 180 degree turn around! I LOVE being my kids' mom and watching them grow and progress!</p>
<p>I've also admitted to my husband "I WANT 3 MORE!!"</p>
<p>Thank you!</p>
<p>Meghan</p>
Staff
2017-07-17T17:57:00Z
Through The Years
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Through-The-Years/-342191567629229342.html
2017-07-13T17:58:00Z
2017-07-13T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I have been with my husband for 35 years and married for 32. We do a lot of the things you mentioned on your program. We hold hands in public and do little things to keep the love alive. Silly things, like him putting a slip of paper in a book I am reading that just says, "hey I love you, you are beautiful".<br /><br />Many friends have commented that they wish they had a marriage like ours. Long ago, many didn't think our marriage would make it. He was quite the wild guy when we first got together and I was much shyer than he was. Through the years we meshed together. I believe it is because deep down we had the same goals and values. <br /><br />We both wanted more for ourselves and the two daughters we had along the way. He is easy to please. Your book, "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060520620/noxsolutions-20/ref=nosim" target="_blank">Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>" let me know that I really was doing things right. Thank you for your program I listen every day. <br /><br />Now..go do the right thing! <br /><br />Linda <br /><br /></p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-07-13T17:58:00Z
Coming Out Of My Slump
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Coming-Out-Of-My-Slump/-415700601804920129.html
2017-07-13T17:57:00Z
2017-07-13T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I was in a slump and overwhelmed with trivial things. I took a little drive to view some Texas surroundings and listened to your program. Just listening to your conversations with callers and a brief lecture that you shared, really helped me put things in perspective. <br /><br />Here are my takeaways:</p>
<ol>
<li>I am important! If I left for a few days, what would my world look like at work and at home? </li>
<br />
<li>I feel like I am in a slump with the man I am dating. So when he calls or texts, what am I bringing to the conversation? Small chat from the day, but also trying to spice things up a little! </li>
</ol>
<p><br />Thank you for your insight! I love listening to you!</p>
Staff
2017-07-13T17:57:00Z
How To Stop A Pick Up Artist
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-To-Stop-A-Pick-Up-Artist/-170213031331152576.html
2017-07-12T17:58:00Z
2017-07-12T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just had to share this funny moment with you. So I'm at this cocktail party and this guy tries to pick me up. I sip my drink and smile politely. <br /><br />He notices my ring and says: "<em>Oh, you're married.</em>" <br /><br />I say: "<em>Yes...</em>" then I follow-up and say my husband's name. <br /><br />Guy says: "<em>Sounds like a crappy name</em>." <br /><br />I continue to smile, and I raise a toast to my husband. I make the guy join in. <br /><br /><strong>Nothing cools fires quicker than making some pick-up artist toast your husband!! </strong><br /><br /><br /></p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-07-12T17:58:00Z
Too Busy For Counseling
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Too-Busy-For-Counseling/387945366468566576.html
2017-07-12T17:57:00Z
2017-07-12T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />As a listener for many years, I always admire and agree with your advice to couples to get premarital counseling. However, my second thought is that very few will take your advice. Young people are just too busy....or so they think. <br /><br />I have been married twice. The first time was for 13 long years. They were long because I should have gone to premarital counseling. I was too young. My second marriage is going on its 26 year. I have been fortunate to have married a 10. I can see how counseling would have solidified my second choice and helped me to be a better wife. I love your commitment to children and family. God Bless you.</p>
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<p> </p>
Staff
2017-07-12T17:57:00Z
How Men Show Their Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Men-Show-Their-Love/664070088189631717.html
2017-07-11T17:58:00Z
2017-07-11T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Good Morning Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Thank you! I say this because when I started listening to you a few years ago, you woke something up in me that I had always known and understood, but had forgotten for a few years. I had strong feminist women around me who had rattled my brain around and knocked the "men are fixers" context out of my head completely. <br /><br />I come from a family where my dad has always been a very outgoing personality. So I always knew I was loved. We all did/do. However, I am a product of a blended family that had started as an exceptionally messy divorce from my mother who used warfare to help perpetuate a skewed view of the world. <br /><br />Well, I am happy to say....you woke that part of my brain back up. I started to see this when my man, who is a naturally quiet guy who has a story too sad to tell with regards to his childhood, has a family that has very little concept of physical emotion in the first place. He was never taught those things and got exceptionally protective of me after my best friend broke my heart. He became my champion and protector in that moment! I knew he was the love of my life already, but he truly showed emotions I had no idea he had. Since then he has stood by my side through a few very dramatic family squabbles and work issues. He essentially saving my sanity!! I have told him every day he is my hero for all he has given me. I know how much he loves me and I will always love him! I am his girlfriend, he is my boyfriend. I credit my eyes being opened 4 years ago to you. Once you said "men are fixers", I started to notice those "little things" and, we have been so much happier as a result. So thank you for being Mother Laura!! <br /><br />Thank you for putting up with the frustrations that you go through on air. We are listening, we are learning. Keep up the great work!! <br /><br />Jackie<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you an Uh-Huh moment while listening? Tell us about it by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-07-11T17:58:00Z
The Love You Take
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Love-You-Take/-676614118149485685.html
2017-07-11T17:57:00Z
2017-07-11T17:57:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am 31 years old, I am my husband's girlfriend and working on being my future children's mother.</p>
<p>A few years ago, my best friend, Jessica, reintroduced me to you after years of despising you. As young teens, her dad would listen to your show daily and lecture us on being good girls - It drove us nuts. We considered ourselves feminists and saw your ways as old school - your show was holding women back, encouraging the idea women were the weaker gender and should live to serve their men. When I got married 2 years ago, we had a very rough start. My husband and I fought a lot, dealing with major issues in our relationship. Around that time, Jessica asked me if I'd listened to you recently. I was shocked. "You mean that terrible woman your dad used to listen to??" She encouraged me to listen to your radio show with different ears. We started talking about how we were treating our men and our minds opened to the idea that perhaps we had been wrong about your message. From there, I picked up "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and my world changed. I became a regular listener of your show. I picked up "Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships" and signed up for your newsletter. I told my mom, sister, aunts and husband all about you because I wanted everyone to read your books and see what I now see.</p>
<p>My relationship with my husband has dramatically changed. I know how to take care of my King... it is so easy. The love I get in return is indescribable. Now we are ready for a family and have started the process of buying a home, bringing us to a new obstacle - the Don't Be A Stay At Home Mom mentality. We both have great full time jobs but are applying for a home loan with only one salary - his. This is a big step because my current income is over a third of our household income, plus by quitting my job, I will be losing a large amount of unvested stock. Our lifestyle is about to go through a major change. Some of my friends and family think I am crazy to give that up. I've been encouraged to "put it in a spreadsheet" and "weigh out the opportunity cost" more than a handful of times. But then I think about my childhood, how even as my parents struggled for money, my mom was always there. She raised me as a baby and took on an in-home day care when my sister was born so even if she couldn't give us her full attention, at least she was the one raising us. I think about how lucky I am to have a husband who fully supports my wishes to raise our children and how blessed we are to have income we do to make this happen.</p>
<p>Dr. Laura, the greatest thing about your message is that it applies to ALL relationships: husband to wife, mother to child, sister to brother, best friend to best friend. The love you put into a relationship is the love you'll get out of it. Thank you for being such a role model in this way.</p>
<p>E.</p>
Staff
2017-07-11T17:57:00Z
We Still Have A Garden
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Still-Have-A-Garden/-484224850827341166.html
2017-07-10T17:58:00Z
2017-07-10T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura: <br /><br />I have been listening to your show for over 20 years. I wanted to tell you how you have impacted my life in such a positive way. So many times I have listened to the advice you have given others and felt as though it was just what I needed to hear. One of my favorites is: "T<em>he moon is not bothered by the baying of wolves</em>". Today was no exception. <br /><br />Fast forward to the dinner time. My husband and I were discussing some bad news we received about my mother-in-law. The mood became heavy and sad. As we sat together, eating sullenly in silence, I remembered the advice you had given a caller. "<em>Every garden has a weed or a squashed bug. So what, you still have a garden</em>". I shared this advice with my husband. A discussion ensued about all the beautiful things in our "<em>garden</em>". I noticed we were both smiling. The mood had changed completely. And yet again, "<em>Mother Laura</em>" had impacted my life in a positive way. Thank you. <br /><br />Thank you so much.</p>
Staff
2017-07-10T17:58:00Z
Hubby Gets An A+
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hubby-Gets-An-A+/196300094422765520.html
2017-07-10T17:57:00Z
2017-07-10T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />When did holding hands with your spouse become a thing of the past? My husband and I took the train into Chicago to do some shopping with some married friends of ours, we had a nice time. On the train ride home, the wife of my husband's friend called us out for holding hands the whole day. It almost felt like she was making fun of us. <br /><br />I thought back to earlier in the day and I felt sorry for her. The group of friends kind of laughed at us but it didn't bother me. I knew what I had and I wasn't going to let go. (My husband and I are in our late 30's, married for 18 years with 2 teenage children.) My husband still opens the car door for me and holds my hand while we are in the car. There are times we hold hands in bed. I find great comfort in holding his hand. <br /><br />An email you read the other day regarding this subject hit me. I realized my kids see how we treat each other in our marriage and they will pick up our habits. At that moment, I gave my husband and I an A+ for being great examples to our children. <br /><br />Never letting go, <br /><br />Jenny<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-07-10T17:57:00Z
Hard to Forgive Oneself
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hard-to-Forgive-Oneself/-302129051886090091.html
2017-06-30T17:58:00Z
2017-06-30T17:58:00Z
<p>When I was probably 8 - 10 years old, I helped sell donuts after church for my parish. While I was selling them, I would slip change into my shoes, so really I was stealing from the church. How sad is that!</p>
<p>This bothered me immensely all of my life. When I was in my 30's, I mailed my letter of confession to my old parish, along with $100.00. The current priest sent me the nicest letter, letting me know the $100.00 was not necessary, and he was sure God had forgiven me.</p>
<p>Sometimes it's hard for us to forgive ourselves, even if others have forgiven us.</p>
<p>M.</p>
Staff
2017-06-30T17:58:00Z
Helping My Messy Kid
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Helping-My-Messy-Kid/-758786470431880548.html
2017-06-30T17:57:00Z
2017-06-30T17:57:00Z
<p>I discovered a neat trick to help my 13 year old boy pick up after himself. He's my youngest and I've always just picked up after him because it's been "easier". He would leave his trash, dirty dishes, clothes etc. right where he was, and when I would call him to clean up, it was like he honestly couldn't see the problem.</p>
<p>I finally realized I was not doing him any favors and when I started expecting him to clean up after himself I was met with "resistance" to say the least. My solution, I made it like an Easter Egg Hunt, "Fix the problems in the room...there are 5." I combine this with hotter/colder hints. I count as he fixes them and he's almost eager to "play". Also, I've even noticed he has started picking up after himself a bit better as time goes on, it's like he actually has started thinking and seeing things he was truly blind to in the past.</p>
<p>Tamara</p>
Staff
2017-06-30T17:57:00Z
When A Family Member Asks For Money
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-A-Family-Member-Asks-For-Money/308190550231033268.html
2017-06-29T17:58:00Z
2017-06-29T17:58:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just listened to the call from Rhonda on 6/28/17. She asked for some witty one liner when her grown son asks her for money. Here's what I came up with some 25 years ago when my brother used to do the same thing to me. <br /><br />
<blockquote><em><strong>"I wouldn't want to deprive you of the pride of earning it yourself." </strong></em></blockquote>
<br />I was quite proud of myself for coming up with that, and he never asked me again! Double win. Keep on keeping on Mother Laura! <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Beth<br />
Staff
2017-06-29T17:58:00Z
To Baby Them, Is To Bury Them
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/To-Baby-Them,-Is-To-Bury-Them/721340121823988780.html
2017-06-29T17:57:00Z
2017-06-29T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I have two siblings that are addicted to heroin because it's the cheapest drug to get on the streets. My sister started with painkillers. I know the term "to baby them is to bury them", and that you can't co-sign their bullshit. I'm glad to say that I have not done this. It breaks my heart to hear how it's happening all over the world. How so many parents and spouses are so manipulated by addicts. <br /><br />Thank you for being there for all of us and just being that voice of reason. You have given me the tools to be a better wife and a better woman. I thank you so much for all you do. <br /><br /><br />Truly, <br /><br />Brittany</p>
Staff
2017-06-29T17:57:00Z
Lucky To Have A Wife Like You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lucky-To-Have-A-Wife-Like-You/-141577035778587691.html
2017-06-28T17:58:00Z
2017-06-28T17:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My husband is in the military and is only allowed to write me letters and call maybe once every two weeks. Even though I am so proud of him and his service I started feeling a little disconnected, lonely, and resentful, but then I read your book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". <br /><br />I got to go see my husband for a weekend and I became his girlfriend with way more benefits. I just received a letter from him (the first one I've gotten since our weekend together) and it said "I had such a good time this past weekend. I love you. I still can't believe how I got so lucky in this world to have a wife like you. You are the sexiest woman in the whole world. THE WAY YOU LOVE, MAKES ME WORK HARDER TO BE A BETTER MAN TO YOU." Sounds like something right out of your book! So instead of resenting him for his job and being away, I started treating him like the REAL MAN he is...he is my provider and, not only my protector, but part of this Country's.</p>
<p>Thank you for all you do.</p>
<p>C.</p>
Staff
2017-06-28T17:58:00Z
Made Two Simple Changes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Made-Two-Simple-Changes/61459052439047849.html
2017-06-28T17:57:00Z
2017-06-28T17:57:00Z
<p>This morning my husband said, "I'm so lucky I have the best wife in the world!" Dr. Laura, we are not newlyweds, but have been married 35 years.</p>
<p>We always had a good marriage, but five years ago I read your book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. I made a vow at that time to do two things: I would never again say no to sex, and I would ban any negative talk about my husband from my speech or thoughts (the last being the harder part). I realized how I had gotten in the habit of thinking negative things: Why doesn't he do it the right way? Why can't he just get to the point? etc.</p>
<p>So, fast forward to today and I can truly say our marriage is stupendous, excellent, wonderful! These were simple things any woman can do, even if you don't feel like making the effort. Just do it! The pay off is definitely worth it. And you will find your love for the wonderful man you chose deepens into the best kind of life partnership anyone could wish for. So glad I read your book. Thank you.</p>
<p>P.</p>
Staff
2017-06-28T17:57:00Z
One Activity at a Time
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/One-Activity-at-a-Time/-602413333767155721.html
2017-06-27T17:58:00Z
2017-06-27T17:58:00Z
<p>My mom (who had been a first grade teacher before I was born and then a stay at home mom) had a good rule regarding after school activities: my sisters and I were only allowed to participate in one after school activity at a time. We did not lack in trying new things. I think I did everything! I just didn't do it all at the same time. Maybe piano lessons overlapped, and once I was chosen to participate in drawing lessons at a college while I was still on Drill Team (though that proved to be too much).</p>
<p>I adopted that rule with my own children too. Why? Because then they have down time to be creative, to help around the house (kids these days do not learn how to cook and clean!!!), to participate in other sibling's games sometimes and basically TO GET EVERYONE TO THE DINNER TABLE EVERY NIGHT TOGETHER! That is my number one goal and it's working.</p>
<p>My kids are in 8th and 9th grades and we are a very close family who does spend quality time together. My kids have time to do their homework and still time to pursue their own interests. They don't need to be scheduled and "entertained" by someone else all the time! Unfortunately other friends' parents don't do this so it's really hard for my kid to find time with their friends. It's sort of ridiculous! I really don't think the other moms cook like I do. I'm big on nourishing nutritional meals because these kids are growing plus it keeps their hormone levels more stable (and happy) to eat good home cooked food!</p>
<p>And Mom isn't crazy driving around all the time... Happy Momma, Happy Family!!</p>
<p>Bethany</p>
Staff
2017-06-27T17:58:00Z
Becoming My Kid's Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Becoming-My-Kids-Mom/-421370395286989833.html
2017-06-27T17:57:00Z
2017-06-27T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been listening to you for over the last 25 years. I have loved your moral strength and character, dedication to family, and courage to speak the truth. Because of you, I stopped working. I raised my children and became my kid's mom. I now am in the midst of going back to school to become a nurse practitioner. I work out regularly and I am striving to be my husband's girlfriend. All to your credit and encouragement! <br /><br />I know you probably have heard this countless times before, but you inspire me to be better than I am. You have been an outstanding role model to me over the years and I just want to properly thank you. I probably will never get the chance to meet you in person, but you are on my bucket list to meet someday! Thank you, Dr. Laura, for being the beautiful, sassy, and dedicated woman that you are. I am thankful you were born at such a time as this. I appreciate that you stand firm in your convictions. l love how you end your programs with "<em>now go do the right thing...</em>" that speaks volumes to one's soul! <br /><br />Thank you for having a depth of character, making me think & helping to convict my heart to truly do the right thing. This world is so messed up! You are like a compass in a storm! I would hate to see what the world would be like without you in it. <br /><br />One of your many thankful surrogate daughters, <br /><br />Marybeth</p>
Staff
2017-06-27T17:57:00Z
Things Not In My Control
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Things-Not-In-My-Control/968977261201254712.html
2017-06-26T17:58:00Z
2017-06-26T17:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura</p>
<p>I phoned you about 6 months ago because I was trying to 'fix' my husband's relationship with his mother. She has nothing to do with us or our children while living only minutes away. My husband has very little to say about this, only that his mother will change her attitude when she misses us enough and until then our children have 3 other amazing grandparents.</p>
<p>Since your advice, I have stopped trying to fix the things out of my control and I am enjoying the relationships in our lives that are uplifting and positive. I am also letting my husband be the man he is and not undermining his decisions. Mostly I wanted to change this relationship because I always hoped my children would have the grandparents I never did. Now I see they do, without her. This has helped my marriage so much. Thank you for your passion, your wisdom and your insight. You may never know just how much you saved.</p>
<p>From an ever grateful and lucky lady who married a real man. Now thanks to you I am behaving more like his loving girlfriend.</p>
<p>Abigail</p>
Staff
2017-06-26T17:58:00Z
Gold Medal Stay at Home Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Gold-Medal-Stay-at-Home-Dad/-929303388925293406.html
2017-06-26T17:57:00Z
2017-06-26T17:57:00Z
<p>My husband and I started a business and I went back to work for the first time in 20 years. We joined the Chamber of Commerce and I went to hear an Olympic gold medalist speak even though I know 0 about the Olympics. There were empty seats toward the front so I sat there and asked the gentleman next to me what he did. He told me he was stay at home dad to his 2 girls age 1 and 3. He was clearly very proud of what he did. I was impressed without knowing who he was. This was Jimmy Shea, our speaker and I had no clue. He said raising his kids was not very different from training as a professional athlete, he does everything he does with total passion. He is a 3rd generation gold medalist and said kids are pushed too hard to compete in sports today and his family never pushed him. You would love this man and I thought of this when I watched your video on stay at home dads. Here was a man manly enough and able to embrace what he is doing. I am certain his wife is still able to see him as a hero.</p>
<p>By the way, my son is a Marine. Listening to you really helped me to understand and be proud of what he is doing.</p>
<p>Liz</p>
Staff
2017-06-26T17:57:00Z
Bad Mom, Good Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bad-Mom,-Good-Mom/-822966813377998883.html
2017-06-23T17:58:00Z
2017-06-23T17:58:00Z
<p>I love the advice you give women with bad moms.</p>
<p>I had a bad mom, the kind who would scream, call me stupid, hit and grab me by the ear and drag me on the floor. Every time I go back to my home state, I am torn wanting to have that mother/daughter relationship I never had. I just think I must not be a good daughter because I am conflicted between having a relationship with her and staying as far away as I can. Every time I start feeling sad about the relationship and love I never got from her, I start thinking about something you said.</p>
<p>I got a second chance to have that mother/daughter relationship I never had with my mom. Every day I tell my daughter, "I am so happy you are my daughter." She surprises me every time when she says, "I am so glad you are my mom." So, I chose not to be like my mom and I do have a wonderful, self confident, intelligent daughter who makes me laugh and likes to do things with me.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for repeating the message that we get a second chance in life with our daughters to have a mother/daughter relationship.</p>
<p>Jeanette</p>
Staff
2017-06-23T17:58:00Z
Living at Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Living-at-Home/425744810866824390.html
2017-06-23T17:57:00Z
2017-06-23T17:57:00Z
<p>After college, I had the opportunity to take a job in my hometown. The pay was so low, I would have to live at home. My mother said "No". She said if I didn't break out of my comfort zone and spread my wings at that time, I never would. A couple of weeks later, I got another opportunity in much larger city. I am so grateful for the "tough love" from my parents which pushed me to keep looking and launched a wonderful career in a profession I love.</p>
<p>Contrary to that: my ex-in-laws harbor their oldest son (he's pushing 50). They lost everything in the real estate collapse and only live off social security... and their grown son lives with them, does not work (he owes 30K in back child support) and doesn't even do chores. Their financial condition is such they may go on food stamps. It infuriates me, so I limit contact will all involved. They've made excuses for him all of his life and continue to do so to their detriment, and that of my child (their grandchild). I can't imagine a grandparent willing to tolerate and fully support a capable adult child who won't work, making them financially unable to drive to see their grandchildren.<br /><br />E.</p>
Staff
2017-06-23T17:57:00Z
A Message To Dr. Laura From My Grateful Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Message-To-Dr.-Laura-From-My-Grateful-Husband/-609534621844319507.html
2017-06-22T17:58:00Z
2017-06-22T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I would like to sincerely thank you for your book on marriage, '<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>'. <br /><br />I led a marriage class at our church using your book several years ago and always give it as a gift to women who are getting married. My husband and I have been married 26 years and I have implemented many "<em>Chapter 6</em>" ideas. A few weeks ago after giving my husband an "I<em> can't wait to come home to you</em>" kiss, he smiled at me and said with a grin, "<em>Tell Dr. Laura I love her!"...</em>So do I! <br /><br />Thank you, r. Laura. There are a lot of us who help to spread your message. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Jennifer<br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-06-22T17:58:00Z
You Remind Me Of My Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Remind-Me-Of-My-Mom/-500482728514602899.html
2017-06-22T17:57:00Z
2017-06-22T17:57:00Z
<br /><br />I would like to say I have listened to you for a long time and you remind me so much of my mom, a very strong woman. I have used a lot of what I have heard you say in raising my 3 kids during these past 10 months. Without their mom, I know it's going to be hard but they tell me every day that they love me and can't wait till the next fun thing they can do with dad. <br /><br />I think you are one of the greatest women In the world (besides my mom) and I think more people should listen to someone that knows something. I can't wait to listen to you again. <br /><br />James
Staff
2017-06-22T17:57:00Z
Elderly Care
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Elderly-Care/-859757292026510498.html
2017-06-21T17:58:00Z
2017-06-21T17:58:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, for promoting home care. So many elderly receive care and are able to keep their independence because of it. So many do not even know the service exists! <br /><br />I have been in home care for almost 20 years. It is a very satisfying career choice. Many states actually have tax programs that pay agencies, such as the one I run, to provide light housekeeping, personal care and grocery shopping for FREE. <br /><br />I believe every state has this program. Seniors need safety and they need to feel wanted but they also need their independence. Everyone feels better at home. Studies show the lifespan to be longer in the persons at home than in a nursing home. Just wanted to give you props for supporting home care and helping others to realize the '<em>right thing</em>' might not really be what they have in mind... <br /><br />Much adoration for all you do...<br /><br />Dana</p>
Staff
2017-06-21T17:58:00Z
You Are Right
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Are-Right/-245218895675559760.html
2017-06-21T17:57:00Z
2017-06-21T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I am happy to report that my husband of 36 years and I do most of the things you recommend! We also do something else which I think is important: we tell each other "<em>You are right</em>". <br /><br />For issues large or small, personal or casual, if one convinces the other or if events play out that favor one position over the other, we never hesitate to give credit where appropriate. Occasionally we have done this in front of family or friends, much to the horror of some. Men say "<em>Don't tell her she's right; you will never hear the end of it!</em>". Women say, "<em>I would never admit that my husband is right.</em>" <br /><br />We have developed a little back and forth to ward off comments. <br /><br />It goes like this: <br /><br /></p>
<blockquote>Me: You're right! *Pause a beat* Would you like to hear that again? <br />Husband: Yes, please. <br />Me: You're right. Again? <br />Husband: Just once more, please. <br />Me: You're right. <br />Husband: Thank you! Big smiles at each other.</blockquote>
<br />Stuns observers into silence every time.
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-06-21T17:57:00Z
It's The Push I Needed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-The-Push-I-Needed/-931661659881234760.html
2017-06-20T17:58:00Z
2017-06-20T17:58:00Z
<br />Hello ! <br /><br />I'm actually a 16-year-old teenager who has started reading your book "<a href="https://www.amazon.com/How-Could-You-That-Abdication/dp/B002KE48NY" target="_blank"><em>How Could You Do That?</em>!</a>". All I want to say is it has been a blessing to be able to find this book at my age. I really am in absolute awe in the contents of your book. <br /><br />The way you think and project your opinions is wonderful. I just want to let you know that as far as this book goes, hopefully, I can grasp my hands on more. You have my full admiration! I've always wanted to write content like yours, and your book is that push I needed. <br /><br />Thank you so much for inspiring me with this wonderful collection of words. <br /><br /><br />
Staff
2017-06-20T17:58:00Z
Parents vs. Legos
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parents-vs.-Legos/388633929497336780.html
2017-06-20T17:57:00Z
2017-06-20T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura: <br /><br />I thought you would get a kick out of these. <br /><br />I am the parent of two grown sons who had Legos all over the house. <br /><br />Enough said. <br /><br />Click here to view more: <a href="http://linkiest.com/links/20-hilariously-accurate-parenting-memes/">Hilariously Accurate Parenting Memes</a><br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/Parenting-20-Parenthood.jpeg" alt="" width="472" height="331" /></p>
Staff
2017-06-20T17:57:00Z
I REALLY AM My Husband's Girlfriend
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-REALLY-AM-My-Husbands-Girlfriend/75048947860829435.html
2017-06-19T17:58:00Z
2017-06-19T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I wanted to share some good things that are products of your teachings and influence over the last 20 years. I don't need you to tell me how to make every little decision, because you have shown me how to live - to prioritize, structure, define right and wrong. So many of your callers seem to miss this and they need the bread crumbs placed REALLY close together. <br /><br />My husband called me just now, he's a Biomedical Field Engineer - smart and totally hot; He and I speak and text all day long. Later tonight we'll sit on the deck and have a glass of wine. He will talk about his day at length and he will listen to me tell him about mine. We'll chat about the calls we heard on the show today, the kids, the jazz band we are going to listen to tomorrow night with friends, and we will go to bed together at the same time. <br /><br />He had a conference in Chicago last month. He checked with his Area Supervisor to see if I could drive up and stay with him, the boss said sure. So I did. I hung out, slept in, ordered room service, worked out, went swimming, binge watched some Netflix and did some writing while he was in meetings. Then, when he came back, we had a very good time at night. It was a wonderful break. The guys had asked where he'd been one night because they'd all gone out and he told them he brought his girlfriend to the conference! lol I am my husband's girlfriend after all. <br /><br />He clarified after the shock wore off but we now love this story! We are so much in love. These days are renewed freedom as a couple, more privacy, more disposable income, and a much deeper appreciation for love and commitment. <br /><br /><br />Thank you for your help.<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-06-19T17:58:00Z
Becoming My Kid's Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Becoming-My-Kids-Mom/-273826137439832596.html
2017-06-19T17:57:00Z
2017-06-19T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been listening to you for over the last 25 years. I have loved your moral strength and character, dedication to family, and courage to speak the truth. Because of you, I stopped working. I raised my children and became my kid's mom. I now am in the midst of going back to school to become a nurse practitioner. I work out regularly and I am striving to be my husband's girlfriend. All to your credit and encouragement! <br /><br />I know you probably have heard this countless times before, but you inspire me to be better than I am. You have been an outstanding role model to me over the years and I just want to properly thank you. I probably will never get the chance to meet you in person, but you are on my bucket list to meet someday! Thank you, Dr. Laura, for being the beautiful, sassy, and dedicated woman that you are. I am thankful you were born at such a time as this. I appreciate that you stand firm in your convictions. l love how you end your programs with "<em>now go do the right thing...</em>" that speaks volumes to one's soul! <br /><br />Thank you for having a depth of character, making me think & helping to convict my heart to truly do the right thing. This world is so messed up! You are like a compass in a storm! I would hate to see what the world would be like without you in it. <br /><br />One of your many thankful surrogate daughters, <br /><br />Marybeth</p>
Staff
2017-06-19T17:57:00Z
Happy Father's Day!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Happy-Fathers-Day!/556156204407572116.html
2017-06-16T17:58:00Z
2017-06-16T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I found this and immediately thought of you. The video is entitled Dads With Lightning Fast Reflexes Compilation. <br /><br />I can hear your voice describing this video as poignant, touching, and a wonderful reminder of one of the MANY reasons dads are so important. <br /><br />Happy Father's Day all you Dads!<br /><br />Please enjoy. <br /><br /></p>
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/IpBExGIiO2M" frameborder="0"></iframe>
Staff
2017-06-16T17:58:00Z
Putting Love Into Action
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Putting-Love-Into-Action/-880932495177184933.html
2017-06-16T17:57:00Z
2017-06-16T17:57:00Z
<p><br />The greatest lesson I have learned about love, is that love is a verb, not a noun. <br /><br />As you know, a noun is a thing, and a verb is an action word. A beautiful garden is a wonderful thing, but unless you water it, feed it, pull the weeds and take care of it, it will wither and die. If you want love to grow, you need to actively love, by caring, sharing, helping, listening, doing... the list goes on. <br /><br />My sweet husband and I have been married for almost 31 years now and I can honestly say we love each other more every day. We choose to actively love each other. I have loved listening to your show over the years and reading your books. I appreciate and respect your no nonsense, straight forward advice. <br /><br />Thank you for all you do. <br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-06-16T17:57:00Z
Doing The Right Thing Isn't Easy But It's Worth It
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Doing-The-Right-Thing-Isnt-Easy-But-Its-Worth-It/823884602372737019.html
2017-06-15T17:58:00Z
2017-06-15T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura. I've been following your advice since I found Stars on my XM radio in December 2016. I'm a single mother, and thought I had to meet a man and have him in my life for a role model for my child. After making a few changes, including no more sex outside if marriage, my life has been filled with sadness and joy.<br /><br /> Sadness, because my significant other broke his promise to me, and found another. I guess he could not have a relationship with me without the sex. Yes, I'm very sad, but this is my time to be sad, and mourn the loss of that long relationship. I'm letting go of my old relationship behaviors. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. <br /><br />Warmly, <br /><br />Your Devoted Listener</p>
Staff
2017-06-15T17:58:00Z
I'm Not Going To Waste A Second Chance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Not-Going-To-Waste-A-Second-Chance/-144254916860225494.html
2017-06-15T17:57:00Z
2017-06-15T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />After about 11 years of marriage, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce and moved out. We then remarried years later. While reflecting on my relationship with her, I realized I had done many things wrong including and beginning with not treating her like the magnificent woman she is. I have been thinking about things because at this point in time, our new lease on marriage was having a hard time. We just weren't connecting like we should.<br /><br />One day, I was walking back from the kitchen to the TV room when I looked at our two recliners with the table between them and thought that could be part of the problem. The next day while she was at work I took both of the recliners out of the living room. When she got home she asked what had happened. I told her I missed snuggling with her on the couch. <br /><br />That night we laughed, joked and cuddled on the couch and we've been doing that ever since. Funny how two pieces of furniture could almost destroy something so beautiful. Thank you for all that you do Your wisdom is very much valued in our home. </p>
Staff
2017-06-15T17:57:00Z
Podcast Joy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Podcast-Joy/-761936216198832744.html
2017-06-14T17:58:00Z
2017-06-14T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I have SXM in my car and listen to your program every time I have a chance. I finally got the premium membership and the podcast. I am learning and enjoying it so much and wonder why the heck I didn't do this long ago! <br /><br />It's worth the small amount of money for a year's subscription, because I am learning how to deal with everyday situations. I find it fascinating knowing that we all face situations every day that we have to handle responsibly in a mature fashion. <br /><br />Thank you for helping people!</p>
Staff
2017-06-14T17:58:00Z
Struggling With Perfection No More
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Struggling-With-Perfection-No-More/279028727132784692.html
2017-06-14T17:57:00Z
2017-06-14T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Your opening monologue about a week ago was about perfectionism, and how it doesn't work. What I took from that was that you are loved because you are loving, not because you are "<em>perfect</em>". <br /><br />That monologue changed my life. I have struggled with body image for as long as I can remember. I have had 4 plastic surgeries and constantly put myself on diets because I told myself that if I looked a certain way, THEN I would be loved. Self acceptance and pleasure were never even part of my body equation. I asked myself some hard questions that day. <br /><br />I exercise now because I love the feeling of the wind on my face, my dog running ahead of me, the sun on my chest. I now appreciate the body that I have and how it enables me to do that...two legs, two arms and a big fat smile. <br /><br />Thank you for who you are in the world, you make a huge difference to this planet. <br /><br />I Love you very much, <br /><br />Carry<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-06-14T17:57:00Z
My Fabulous Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Fabulous-Man/840749024591541828.html
2017-06-13T17:58:00Z
2017-06-13T17:58:00Z
<p>I met my husband in graduate school at a Catholic university. He was a priest and I had been a nun for 11 years. I had left my order of nuns mostly because they were making decisions and altering our lifestyle and mission so markedly that the life we said we were leading was the life we were abandoning. I remember saying to one of the superiors, I feel like the kids I teach and their families are living the true Christian life more than we are in reality.</p>
<p>When we got married 44 year ago, my husband's parents were extremely upset. It was the 60's and nothing gave a Catholic mother more popularity than having a son who was a priest. After she had made some truly hateful phone calls to me, my husband sat down and wrote his parents a letter saying essentially that until they could love me as he loved me, they were not to contact me by any method. It was many months later when his father called my husband, apologized, and asked if they could make plans to come see us. They came, but they did not stay with us. It was a pleasant and polite visit. It took several years for us to build a relationship together. But I will ALWAYS remember how proud I was of my husband standing up for me and being a true man.</p>
<p>Jody</p>
Staff
2017-06-13T17:58:00Z
My Family Paid the Price
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Family-Paid-the-Price/-962469380891132622.html
2017-06-13T17:57:00Z
2017-06-13T17:57:00Z
<p>I have been listening to your show for quite a while. Recently it has been religiously. I have two children, a 14 month old and an eight-year-old.</p>
<p>For the past year I have been working part time for additional income for our household. Thanks to you, I realized how much it was hurting our family for me to be away from home and not being 100% a wife, mother, lover and caretaker. I have been having a really hard time trying to juggle too much and it has kept me from being my husband's girlfriend and my kids' mom.</p>
<p>My husband came to me last Saturday (after a particularly stressful week) and asked I put my two weeks in at my job. I found it amazing that almost instantaneously I had the biggest weight off of my shoulders. I also find it awesome how unbelievably appealing my husband has been to me ever since he took back his role and asked that I do the same for myself! Yay! I now have the energy to do everything I should be doing for my husband and daughters.</p>
<p>Thank you for your insight!!</p>
<p>Megan</p>
Staff
2017-06-13T17:57:00Z
Lucky to Have a Wife Like You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lucky-to-Have-a-Wife-Like-You/-755267128673050454.html
2017-06-12T17:58:00Z
2017-06-12T17:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My husband is in the military and is only allowed to write me letters and call maybe once every two weeks. Even though I am so proud of him and his service I started feeling a little disconnected, lonely, and resentful, but then I read your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>". <br /><br />I got to go see my husband for a weekend and I became his girlfriend with way more benefits. I just received a letter from him (the first one I've gotten since our weekend together) and it said "I had such a good time this past weekend. I love you. I still can't believe how I got so lucky in this world to have a wife like you. You are the sexiest woman in the whole world. THE WAY YOU LOVE, MAKES ME WORK HARDER TO BE A BETTER MAN TO YOU." Sounds like something right out of your book! So instead of resenting him for his job and being away, I started treating him like the REAL MAN he is...he is my provider and, not only my protector, but part of this Country's.</p>
<p>Thank you for all you do.</p>
<p>C.</p>
Staff
2017-06-12T17:58:00Z
Grandpa, We Want to 'Help'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Grandpa,-We-Want-to-Help/-457966987875354467.html
2017-06-12T17:57:00Z
2017-06-12T17:57:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura</p>
<p>This is not the typical type of letter you normally receive. I would like to share with you a moment I had the other day with my granddaughters (aged 6 & 7.)</p>
<p>I was digging postholes to put a fence around my backyard and they wanted to 'help.' I gave them each a small shovel and they 'helped' by scattering my dirt pile I had from the post hole and digging around in the loose dirt. When I finished the post hole I told them I would be right back and went to get my level so I could plumb the post. When I got back they had the hole almost full of dirt! "Grandpa! We're helping you fill up your hole!" they exclaimed. Now how could I be angry about that? I and my family are still laughing about it!</p>
<p>Just a happy note to (hopefully) brighten you day.</p>
<p>Yes, I am my wife's hubby (37 years), my kids' dad, and my grandkids' grandpa. Now I'm going to go do the right thing!</p>
<p>Frank</p>
Staff
2017-06-12T17:57:00Z
Call Me When You're 30
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Call-Me-When-Youre-30/-797132972827985413.html
2017-06-09T17:58:00Z
2017-06-09T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I heard you talk about the most difficult ages being 16-25, to maybe even 30. I laughed out loud when I heard you say this! When my kids were in that age range, I wished I could've said, "Call me when you're 30 and let me know how you're doing." <br /><br />These years were so hard to watch, as my daughter and son became adults. I am proud to say they turned out great, despite a few minor potholes. We have a great relationship. <br /><br />Thanks for all you do. You and your blunt, pragmatic, yet kind advice, is a staple in my life.<br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-06-09T17:58:00Z
Lessons In Selflessness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lessons-In-Selflessness/-987629874445236668.html
2017-06-09T17:57:00Z
2017-06-09T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I cannot tell you how much I admire you and respect what you say about marriage, relationships, and raising kiddos. <br /><br />I have heard you speak on the air about O. Henry's <em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Magi-O-Henry/dp/1635964504/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1497040190&sr=8-1&keywords=gift+of+the+magi" target="_blank">“Gift of the Magi”</a></em> and I always chuckle to myself when you talk about how teachers do not teach real literature in public schools anymore. I am a high school English teacher, and I do teach this story when I am teaching situational irony and theme. We talk about the irony of Jim and Della sacrificing the thing that they held most dear to buy the other a Christmas gift that would be dear to them. <br /><br />I always ask students at the end of the semester what was their favorite story that we read in class and 9 students out of 10 say <em>“Gift of the Magi”</em>. They all say how moved they were by two people doing something so selfless for each other, and a lot of them say that they hope to have that kind of relationship with someone in the future. <br /><br />What an important story for people to read. Not just high school students, either. It should be a law that anyone getting married should have to read <em>“Gift of the Magi”</em> and <em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0061142824/noxsolutions-20/ref=nosim" target="_blank">“Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage”</a></em>. We can dream, right? <br /><br />Please keep doing what you do. <br /><br />Audrey<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-06-09T17:57:00Z
Other Causes of Childhood Stress
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Other-Causes-of-Childhood-Stress/-996592362877062577.html
2017-06-08T17:58:00Z
2017-06-08T17:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Thank you for addressing the topic of childhood stress on your show recently.</p>
<p>Our daughter cried a lot and was also extremely stressed. Sometimes we could only hold her and caress her as she remained inconsolable. After several trips to specialists, it was recommended we medicate her for anxiety and ADHD.</p>
<p>Instead, we asked she be tested for neurobiological causes such as Celiac Sprue, Sleep Disorders, and Thyroid dysfunction. Fortunately, my husband is a Pediatric Neuropsychologist trained at UCLA and CHLA. He has learned many kids with such disorders have symptoms of anxiety and ADHD.</p>
<p>The results of testing indicated our daughter had Celiac Sprue. Within weeks of implementing treatment, her anxiety and ADHD symptoms subsided. She is now a happy and successful teen who has a passion for helping others.</p>
<p>Based on our personal experience, I sincerely wish families were more aware of the neurobiological causes of childhood stress.</p>
<p>Warmest regards,</p>
<p>Rose</p>
Staff
2017-06-08T17:58:00Z
Support and Wisdom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Support-and-Wisdom/-940436924139492089.html
2017-06-08T17:57:00Z
2017-06-08T17:57:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>You changed my life. Seventeen years ago you were the voice of sanity in a sea of naysayers (even my own sister!) when I wanted to leave my job and stay home with my infant son. I did it anyway and listened to you every afternoon just to get the affirmation from someone that I was doing the right thing. We were so broke we couldn't afford a thing beyond diapers and formula, but we did it and I don't regret a moment of it!</p>
<p>You were the voice of reason who helped me keep my marriage together when we lost track of our shared goals. Our kids were still young and my husband traveled a lot and we both were miserable! Your book "Proper Care and Feeing of Husbands" showed me the way to keep our family together and we are now happier than ever before. Married 23 years with two teenagers, we are doing great since Dad is home every night because we moved to another state so we could have family dinners and telling conversations every night!</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for sharing your wisdom. My life is better for it!</p>
<p>J.</p>
Staff
2017-06-08T17:57:00Z
Young Women and Clothing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Young-Women-and-Clothing/181583650237769034.html
2017-06-07T17:58:00Z
2017-06-07T17:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura</p>
<p>I love your program and listen everyday in the car. Recently, you had a guest on talking about the new definitions of rape. I agree with both of you. Young women of today have to take responsibility for themselves and their actions. I have 3 daughters ages 24, 22, and 17. I have always had this motto: when it comes to their bodies, if you don't respect your body no one else will. I never allowed my girls to have a gap between the shirt and the top of the pants; a camisole is not the only top - if they wore spaghetti strap shirts, I required another shirt over them; and the boobs and butt would never be coming out of any end of the clothing. Sure they wear all the latest styles, but they do it with style. I have made them change on many occasion and we have had our battles. They each have their own style and I respect that, but they have respect and dignity for themselves. I always told them provocative clothing will get you attention from the guys, but it is not the right attention and they may as well put a sign on themselves that says I AM EASY. I certainly do not have perfect girls, but they do respect their bodies and for that I am a proud mom.</p>
<p>Thank you for your bluntness and telling it like it is when it comes to the sexualization of girls.</p>
<p>Sincerely</p>
<p>Linda</p>
Staff
2017-06-07T17:58:00Z
Taking Advice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-Advice/963729832437067549.html
2017-06-07T17:57:00Z
2017-06-07T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I've listened to you every day, for years, sometimes twice a day in case I missed something. I am made fun of by friends and family and it is a running joke when someone has a challenge, they look to me and say "Ask Dr. L."! I am teary- eyed as I write this as I don't think I ever realized how much you have inspired me.</p>
<p>I think of you daily when I feel challenged in my marriage or with the rearing of my children. I am easily overwhelmed and suffer from <a href="https://www.crohnsandcolitis.com/crohns" target="_blank">Crohn's Disease</a> so listening to you has forced me to stop and think before I react.</p>
<p>But most importantly, up until about 5 years ago (I am now 49), I was what you would consider a "weak" person. As a pleaser, I would allow friends and family to intimidate me, take advantage of my lack of being able to say NO when I really wanted to and earn the reputation of the one to go to when needing a good listener. I seemed to be very good at giving advice but not very good at taking my own advice. I was also nicknamed "the enabler". You have given me the strength and courage to stand up for myself, defend myself and take my own advice. I no longer run from confrontation or allow myself to be taken advantage of. I feel so much more confident and strong and only wish I didn't wait so long to take YOUR advice.</p>
<p>I have read your books and give them as gifts, and every single day, when I watch my children leave the house or speak to my son in college on the phone, I tell them I love them and say "NOW...GO DO THE RIGHT THING"! And they have!!</p>
<p>L.</p>
Staff
2017-06-07T17:57:00Z
Damsels in Distress
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Damsels-in-Distress/524942098780295124.html
2017-06-06T17:58:00Z
2017-06-06T17:58:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My husband and I have a fabulous marriage and four good sons--our youngest is 19. When he was home this summer after his freshman year in college, he told me about a troubled young lady he cared about and tried to rescue. I quoted you, of course, and said that when he rescues a damsel in distress, all he will ever get is a distressed damsel! At this age, a mother can only HOPE some of what she says sinks in....well THIS did! Our son just wrote a song about leaving this girl and even used your quote--here are some of the lyrics--thought it would make your day, as it did mine!</p>
<p>Thinking of you--so grateful YOU have helped us raise four boys into REAL men, while still being a boyfriend/girlfriend to each other.</p>
<p>Ever-listening on the podcast--with warmest regards,</p>
<p>Nancy</p>
<p>Our kids' mom and my husband's girlfriend,</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>THE LAST GOODBYE</strong></p>
<p>by Andrew</p>
<p>I said goodbye for the last time</p>
<p>But you would never let me be</p>
<p>You held on to me</p>
<p>Like a child to my knee</p>
<p>Begging please don't leave me with nothing</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I tried the best that I could</p>
<p>Yet you'd never turn yourself away</p>
<p>From your old past</p>
<p>Yet I knew it'd never last</p>
<p>So I'm done. I'm giving up trying</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Our time is over</p>
<p>It's fallen apart</p>
<p>You think what's best for me</p>
<p>Is breaking my heart?</p>
<p>I've gotten over you</p>
<p>And I'll never lie</p>
<p>For when I tell you</p>
<p>It's the last goodbye</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I gave you all my life</p>
<p>You were my entire world</p>
<p>Diamonds and pearls</p>
<p>And Flowers for my girl</p>
<p>Turned to dust and left me with nothing</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So let this be a lesson for you</p>
<p>Don't rescue damsels in distress</p>
<p>Cause if you do</p>
<p>What's in store for you</p>
<p>Is just a distressed damsel</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Our time is over</p>
<p>It's fallen apart</p>
<p>You think what's best for me</p>
<p>Is breaking my heart?</p>
<p>I've gotten over you</p>
<p>And I'll never lie</p>
<p>For when I tell you</p>
<p>It's the last goodbye</p>
Staff
2017-06-06T17:58:00Z
Clothes Affect Your Attitude
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Clothes-Affect-Your-Attitude/-898658752157998803.html
2017-06-06T17:56:00Z
2017-06-06T17:56:00Z
<p> </p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1374170407854_2651" class="yiv2007357235MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1374170407854_2753">Hi Dr. Laura,</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1374170407854_2650" class="yiv2007357235MsoPlainText">I would like to thank you for your opening commentary on tips to improve your workday - in particular the tip regarding wearing crappy clothes at work. I work in a medical office and for the past several months we have been made to wear terribly ugly polyester royal blue shirts. My coworker and I have often discussed how being made to wear these ugly shirts was having an effect on our self esteem and how coming to the office each day wearing the same thing was getting depressing. Mind you, we both like our jobs.</p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1374170407854_2708" class="yiv2007357235MsoPlainText">After I heard you mention how wearing crappy clothes can affect your mood, I told my coworker who then mentioned it to our office manager. The ban was lifted! I am now happily typing this to you in a skirt and heels and feeling fantastic.</p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1374170407854_2756" class="yiv2007357235MsoPlainText">Thank you to my coworker for being a great listener and advocate for our team at the office and thank you, Dr. Laura, for the affirmation of how we were feeling. You were so right!</p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1374170407854_2769" class="yiv2007357235MsoPlainText">Sarah</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-06-06T17:56:00Z
Taking Things for Granted
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-Things-for-Granted/-931787940887607562.html
2017-06-05T17:58:00Z
2017-06-05T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura: <br /><br />A recent tragedy has struck my family at our core, and if I may, please allow me to teach your listeners something I have learned. <br /><br />My husband of 24 years passed away from a brief illness in May. He left me with three amazing gifts; a 14-year-old daughter, a 5 year-old daughter; and a 3 year-old son. Our children are everything to me, and because of them I get up every day, go to work, and try to provide for them the best that I can. <br /><br />More than anything I want to convey to your listeners - never take anything for granted. Never talk bad about your spouse; after all you married him/her. Love deeply; take those extra minutes in the morning or at night to hug and to be hugged by your spouse. Intimacy is everything. Give 60% to the marriage, and only expect 40% and you will be well on your way to success. Go to them in times of trouble, not your mom or dad, not your siblings, not your friends; go to him or her. Lean on them. <br /><br />If I could wish anything for your listeners, it’s that they find the love that I once had; kind, patient, loving, caring, strong, never wavering. <br /><br />My life now is completely changed in every single possible way. <br /><br />Blessings to all, <br /><br />Jennifer</p>
Staff
2017-06-05T17:58:00Z
Kids Come Before New Love Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Kids-Come-Before-New-Love-Life/315597688491374396.html
2017-06-05T17:57:00Z
2017-06-05T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dear Dr. Laura: <br /><br />Thank you for never letting off the hook those parents who put their love life ahead of the well-being of their minor children. <br /><br />My childhood was miserable because my parents married and divorced numerous times, shacked up, married people with kids, made new kids, etc. All of this nonsense affected the lives of eleven children. Somehow I prevailed, married a wonderful man and for three decades have lived the happy life I dreamed about as a kid. I use his parents as a model of marriage and family life and use my own parents as models of what NOT to do. Consequently, we created a warm, loving and safe home for our children. <br /><br />My heart goes out to those children your callers often talk about. These kids have no choice in the situations that are created for them by the adults in their lives, yet the adults are often mystified by why the children behave the way they do. It's so sad. Please continue telling parents in these scenarios that what they are doing is wrong - the well-being of kids should always come first. You're doing the right thing! <br /><br />Jo</p>
Staff
2017-06-05T17:57:00Z
Daughters Should Know How to Be Treated
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Daughters-Should-Know-How-to-Be-Treated/-3133796435265798.html
2017-06-02T17:58:00Z
2017-06-02T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My husband should get the award for Father of the year. My husband really spoiled our 2 daughters and I don't mean with material things. He gave our daughters his time, attention and all of his heart.</p>
<p>Every evening, our daughters called him "Water Man" as he would lovingly bring them and me a glass of water to our rooms before bed. My husband never participated in his favorite activity of golf when our children were young because he wanted to spend all his free time with his family.</p>
<p>He always gave me and our girls flowers for any and every occasion. When our oldest daughter went away to college, he was ordering her a huge bouquet of flowers for Valentines Day. I quietly remarked that maybe he shouldn't scare off any of the college boys by this large bouquet he was sending. My thinking was that the boys would be intimidated by these flowers if the boy arrived bearing one little flower. His response was, "I don't care. I want my daughter to KNOW how to be treated!!" </p>
<p>One of our daughters married and it was approaching her first wedding anniversary. My husband immediately wanted to send flowers. I quietly reminded him that it was THEIR anniversary and maybe he shouldn't compete with our new son-in-law. He agreed, but decided we should call her new in-laws on the anniversary and tell them how grateful we were for their son and how delighted we are to be part of their family.</p>
<p>Now we have 2 little granddaughters who my husband has no limits on how many flowers, balloons and teddy bears he can shower on them. For me, I'm Grammy, and I'm enjoying Skyping with the grandkids when I can't be with them. I read them books over the Internet and have a big bag of puppets so I can put on The Grammy Show. Aren't families wonderful!? </p>
<p>Thanks for all you do to protect children, Dr. Laura. We love you.</p>
<p> Melissa</p>
Staff
2017-06-02T17:58:00Z
Secret to a Long Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Secret-to-a-Long-Marriage/817535411925250879.html
2017-06-02T17:57:00Z
2017-06-02T17:57:00Z
<p> </p>
I was at an antique store last week and I overheard an elderly lady talking to the woman at the cash register about the fact that she and her husband were buying an object in celebration of their 47 years of marriage. It was a wooden Irish spoon that hangs on the wall. <br /><br />The owner of the store said, "Oh my! This is so precious!" I heard a lot of "Ooohs" and "Aaaaah! Thats so sweet." Then I heard the lady ask the couple "What is the secret to your marriage?" The older lady said, without even a thought, "I have kept his stomach full and his balls empty!" I was absolutely shocked and then it hit me - "Damn, she's right!" It sounded like something you would say. <br /><br />Love ya and thank you for what you do.<br /><br />Elizabeth <br />
Staff
2017-06-02T17:57:00Z
My Wife's Smile
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Wifes-Smile/159897420602398102.html
2017-06-01T17:58:00Z
2017-06-01T17:58:00Z
<p>One of your polls struck a nerve. The poll asked, "Do you think happy people are just naturally happy or do they create their own happiness?" I voted "Naturally happy," but truthfully, I am ambivalent on this. I think it is different for each person.</p>
<p>When I was married to my wife, I was as happy as a clam. Then, after she passed away, I have been in a funk for over 11 years now. Personally, my happiness was tied to my circumstance, and being married and having a family was all I ever really wanted from life. After a very short 16 years and 8 months, I was alone again and my happiness evaporated. </p>
<p>My wife, on the other hand, was a very naturally happy person, always upbeat, always thinking things will work out, always looking at the bright side of things, and always smiling. And her smile was always genuine, never forced or fake. The night before she passed, our 14-year-old daughter and I went to visit her in the ICU. My wife knew how grave the situation was. But there she was, being hooked up to hoses and needles and machines as doctors tried to save her life, and when I walked in, she looked up and SMILED at me! She had one of those infectious smiles, a toothy grin that could light up a room, even as it turns out, THAT room. I will never forget that moment. </p>
<p>Albert</p>
<p> </p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407955288384_9511" class="yiv6830627636MsoNormal"> </p>
Staff
2017-06-01T17:58:00Z
Adjusting to Motherhood!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Adjusting-to-Motherhood!/-593164023163768221.html
2017-06-01T17:57:00Z
2017-06-01T17:57:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>After hearing your comments regarding the adjustment time it takes to motherhood, I have to say thank you!</p>
<p>I am a very happily married mother of 2 young (and VERY BUSY!!!!) boys! I was happy to hear the adjustment period is normal! It's definitely something that scared me with my first! I had always wanted to be a SAHM with my kids and I was not lucky to have one, although I had a very hard working mom!</p>
<p>I wanted to SHOUT at the radio and say, "Caller, you aren't alone girl!"</p>
<p>The adjustment period was very difficult for me, BUT after that initial 'hump', things made a complete 180 degree turn around! I LOVE being my kids' mom and watching them grow and progress!</p>
<p>I've also admitted to my husband "I WANT 3 MORE!!"</p>
<p>Thank you!</p>
<p>Meghan</p>
Staff
2017-06-01T17:57:00Z
Keeping Your Cool as a Parent
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-Your-Cool-as-a-Parent/425014727978509505.html
2017-05-31T17:58:00Z
2017-05-31T17:58:00Z
I certainly did not learn to keep my cool from my childhood. Life with my dad was stressful and scary. My mom was not a yeller, but Dad was very intimidating to my two sisters and me. I jokingly say I thought my name was Stupid, Ugly, Dummy, etc. God Bless him...loved him anyway.<br /><br />I thought about the way I was raised. I decided early on I would never do that to any child, mine or not. Yes, sometimes I wanted to yell at my two girls, but I stopped myself by remembering what I went through and how it made me feel. The other big deterrent was to ask myself; if either of them, God forbid, was ill or dead, I would not have this experience of helping them clean up spilled milk or watch them show me how they can really clean their rooms. I would rather have my girls around to "mess up" every so often, than have given birth and now one or both are gone forever.<br /><br />Instead, I put a smile on my face and they immediately know that uncalled-for smile means business. Problem solved! By the way, I am mentally counting to 10 at the same time. This works with my wonderful husband, as well. I would rather see clothes all over the floor then some horrible thing happen in my marriage or to him.<br /><br />Thankful for being a good student of life.<br /><br /> <br /><br />Donna<br />
Staff
2017-05-31T17:58:00Z
Guys Need Applause Too
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Guys-Need-Applause-Too/-436274930045940119.html
2017-05-31T17:57:00Z
2017-05-31T17:57:00Z
Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />The worst way to compliment a guy is to have deliver this encouragement "Great, you scored better than you ever have on your golf game" with guilt ridden undertones.<br /><br />Women don't like to be left out. Let's face it, even if we were all for our man to go golfing for a day or a hunting trip for a weekend, it is sometimes hard to be home alone. But you can't make him feel guilty in your comments when he returns. If he is a good man, works and helps you, then when he comes back from his outing you should support him no matter how your plans went (good or bad) or how crazy the kids made you while he was gone. He listens to you and your world, so make it a goal to listen to his outing and interests.<br /> <br />My husband plays Dungeons & Dragons, so I have to listen to the monsters he fought and plot lines too long for my ADD mind. I don't even care much for D&D or the 10 hours it takes to play, but he is writing a fantasy book and I am loving reading that.<br /><br />A good marriage takes work. Guys need to understand you need 30 minutes a day for him to just listen so you can get everything out. And girls need to remember their men need guy time and be excited when he comes home and applaud his achievements no matter what they are. Don't tell him how your weekend got messed up and you had to fix the sink. Let him have his moment. It helps him feel relaxed and appreciated which leads him to start thinking of all you do for him and what he can do for you.<br /><br /><br />Rachel
Staff
2017-05-31T17:57:00Z
Parking Lot Babies
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parking-Lot-Babies/-330838214876207872.html
2017-05-30T17:58:00Z
2017-05-30T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I worked in a pre-school the year after I graduated from college, and I would never insult motherhood by claiming that I loved those kids like my own. We were in a parking garage for babies whose mothers decided that driving through Starbucks was more important than seeing their toddlers first step or hearing their first word. My job was to keep those 15 babies from fracturing their skull under my watch. Not to love them like my own. I was a parking attendant. <br /><br />I'm a 27-year-old woman, never married, and I've made it my mission at work to get as many of my mommy-coworkers to quit as I can. Our job is not that important. I don't know when or if God is going to entrust me with a family, but I DO know that if He does, I'll be the one raising them. My husband and I will be the last faces they see before they go to sleep and the first ones they see in the morning. And no one will have to pay me to do it. Goodness knows there are enough parking lot babies who have turned into screwed up adults as it is. <br /><br />Thank you for all you've done for families for all these years. <br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />A Future Stay-at-Home-Mom and Husband's Girlfriend <br />Kathy<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-05-30T17:58:00Z
How To Be a Real Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-To-Be-a-Real-Man/197415222342642542.html
2017-05-30T17:57:00Z
2017-05-30T17:57:00Z
<p><br />14 years ago I found your show. You taught me what it means to be a real man. I divorced my wife for all of the Three A's. She was addicted to prescription pains meds, she was neglecting our daughter, and had an affair with my so-called best friend. <br /><br />I gave up my dream career, truck driver, took a factory job on 3rd shift so I could be there for my daughter. Now she's 19, and a wonderful young woman. It scares me now to think what would have become of her had you not been on the radio teaching, nagging, and occasionally, unbeknownst to you, chewing me out. Many things you said hit hard in my head. After many sleepless days and nights worrying about money, wondering what I was going to do, how I would make it work. We made it. <br /><br />Thank you SO much for doing what you do. When things are tough, just remember you ARE making a difference, you ARE saving children. The ripple effect from the pebble you threw in the pond will be felt for many generations. Thank you just doesn't seem enough. Love you mom. <br /><br />Ted<br /><br />P.S. Throw Mikey's toy for me, please.</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-30T17:57:00Z
Bad Childhood, Great Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bad-Childhood,-Great-Life/679895257290160989.html
2017-05-26T17:58:00Z
2017-05-26T17:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I read your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Bad-Childhood-Good-Life-Blossom-Childhood/dp/0060577878" target="_blank">Bad Childhood Good Life</a></em>", and wanted to tell you how much it has helped me.</p>
<p>I am a product of an affair my mother had on her first husband. I have 12 half brothers and sisters, but only grew up knowing 3 of them (the three from her first marriage). My mother divorced and remarried my step father when I was 4. She shipped my 2 sisters and brother away to live with their bio dad and sent me away to boarding school for a couple years so they could travel. My step father was very verbally abusive and eventually sexually abusive. My mother, never having a job, did nothing to protect me and allowed it to continue for her own financial reasons, I guess.</p>
<p>I moved out at 17 and had some very bad relationships before meeting my now husband of 17 years. I am very blessed to have been given a wonderful, honest man who has given us 3 beautiful children.</p>
<p>My step father has had many affairs on my mother and recently had another (he is 77 years old). She continues to do nothing about it. I have recently cut him out of my life and my mother can't understand why I won't allow my kids, daughters 10, 12 and son 14, to be around him. She goes behind my back and tells them he loves them and would never do anything to hurt them. She didn't protect her own child from him why would my kids be any different? When I remind her of the things he did to me she tells me I'm lying and doesn't remember. She believes he was a good addition to the family. My siblings say I need to move on to keep peace in the family.</p>
<p>After reading your book I know now I do not have to be around toxic people and my # 1 priority is my husband and kids. I have stopped the cycle of abuse and will no longer accept abusive behavior from my "family". I am much happier surrounding myself with loving, healthy people/relationships. I can't thank you enough Dr. Laura for your advice and helping me and others stick to our morals. Keep up the great work!</p>
<p>L</p>
Staff
2017-05-26T17:58:00Z
State of Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/State-of-Marriage/-913025738075874215.html
2017-05-26T17:57:00Z
2017-05-26T17:57:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I came across this quote upon discussion with a friend about our generation's frivolous views of marriage:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>Originally marriage meant the sale of a woman by one man to another; now most women sell themselves though they have no intention of delivering the goods listed in the bill of sale.</em> - Robert Graves (1895 - 1985)</p>
<p>Thank you for your guidance in my marriage and thousands of others.</p>
<p>Brittany</p>
Staff
2017-05-26T17:57:00Z
Blown Away by His Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Blown-Away-by-His-Love/-820342884426958969.html
2017-05-25T17:58:00Z
2017-05-25T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Yesterday, I went for a 6 mile hike with a 2000 ft. elevation gain. I was to text my husband when I made it to the top to let him know when I would be home for breakfast. Shortly after I texted him, I fell and messed up my knee pretty bad. I didn't want to alarm him so I texted "Slight Delay". I tied up my knee and hopped my way back down the mountain. <br /><br />After I got home and my husband hugged me and ran for ice. He said, "You know if you had told me, I would have ran up there and carried you down." The thing is, my MAN would have driven himself and all three kids all the way up to the trailhead, and then my MAN would have hiked all the way up to the summit with three young kids in hand, and my MAN would have carried me all the way back down just to keep me safe. I am blown away by the love he shows me every day because he is MY MAN and I am his adoring wife. <br /><br />You have changed my life in so many ways and I won't bore with you the sorted details of my past. All that matters is I am my kids' mother, and my MAN's adoring wife. Thank you and your peeps for all that you do. <br /><br />Juliana</p>
Staff
2017-05-25T17:58:00Z
The Kids are Listening
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Kids-are-Listening/-219519977117106508.html
2017-05-25T17:57:00Z
2017-05-25T17:57:00Z
<p><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>You have changed my daughters' lives completely, first by waking me up to the fact that I needed to quit my 40+ hours a week job and stay home with them when they were still babies. Then by nagging, preaching and teaching them over the radio for the past 16 years.</p>
<p>This past weekend, my 16 and 18-year-old daughters got to spend some time with a cousin and her new husband of two years. When they got back home, they couldn't wait to tell me how their cousin's husband would "definitely swim through shark infested waters to bring her a lemonade!" Then they went on to say how they wanted to be married to a man like that so there would be no "shack ups" for them. I just smiled and said to myself, "Thank you Mother Laura, now I can send my oldest off to college this fall, knowing the lessons have been learned!</p>
<p>Crystal</p>
<p class="yiv8505587859msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv0328694503msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2017-05-25T17:57:00Z
Give It Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Give-It-Up/-915692895770714073.html
2017-05-24T17:58:00Z
2017-05-24T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr, Laura, <br /><br />I just listened to your podcast on "<em><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/programhighlights?date=20170519" target="_blank">What to tell yourself when you want to give up</a></em>" and it really hit me! I've always believed that you shouldn't be a quitter and you just need to stick with it. <br /><br />Seven years ago, I left a 25-year marriage after years of misery. Our sons were grown but it was the hardest thing I had ever done. I feared what my life would be like when I didn't have our sons in the house to keep me going. For years, my now ex-husband told me that I would never make it without him. I'd never have any friends if I left him and I'd never be able to support myself.<br /><br />After I left, he was busy in our small town crucifying my character. As much as it hurt, I kept my head held high and made it through day by day. Three years after I left him, I met a man that became a very good friend. He wasn't interest in marriage and I felt very safe with him. He was such a great support, never took anything for granted, and was very patient in building me back up. After three years, I married my best friend. He thanks me every day for the simple things I do. He is a dream come true! <br /><br />Yes, sometimes it's not giving up... its standing up and walking away. Life is GRAND! </p>
Staff
2017-05-24T17:58:00Z
It Can Happen To Anyone
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Can-Happen-To-Anyone/283945239760430333.html
2017-05-24T17:57:00Z
2017-05-24T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I can relate to your caller that found our her husband cheated because she contracted<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_papillomavirus_infection" target="_blank"> HPV</a>. Please let callers know that there is so much at risk when this happens. I found out right after my husband and I separated 5 years ago that I had HPV. I didn't realize at the time what kind of problems there would be. <br /><br />I now have to get tested regularly for cancer. I also have also had irregular pap smears that result in biopsies and numerous tests. Luckily I have a proactive doctor now. He does not shame me and supports me in a positive atmosphere. It is very humiliating and I have to remind myself that it is a medical condition and it can happen to anyone. <br /><br />Thank you for all you do! <br /><br />Lorie<br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
<br /><br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-24T17:57:00Z
'Raising' Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-Children/849260551590430006.html
2017-05-23T17:58:00Z
2017-05-23T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I heard a very funny comment this weekend that I thought would give you a laugh. My oldest son had his 8th birthday party and we invited friends from his class at school. <br /><br />A father of a classmate came. I did not know this man. He was kind but asked what I did before I was a stay at home mom. I said I was a school teacher. He asked if I would go back to work after my kids were raised. I answered that I wasn't sure. He then told me that his wife loved staying home to raise their kids but now that they were raised she went back to work. I had to hold my laugh. His youngest daughter was in 1st grade! <br /><br />I guess 1st graders are now considered raised! HAHA!!!! My kids are nowhere near raised! I still need to teach them to empty the garbage, use deodorant, and floss their own teeth correctly!<br /><br /><br /></p>
<br /><br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-23T17:58:00Z
I Just Love You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Just-Love-You/208141170156920250.html
2017-05-23T17:57:00Z
2017-05-23T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I'm listening to your podcast early this morning, thinking about how much you have influenced my life. It's not just your advice, which is so smart and deep, it's the way you have led your life as an example to me on so many levels. <br /><br />I'm 53 and have one daughter who is 22. She grew up listening to you in the car like so many callers, we listen together when she's home from college and I appreciate your contribution to her life too. Thank you so much for ALL you do and have done for so long. <br /><br />Love sent your way always, <br /><br />Tina<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-05-23T17:57:00Z
I'm Equipped To Take On The World
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Equipped-To-Take-On-The-World/-887958768907706097.html
2017-05-22T17:58:00Z
2017-05-22T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dearest Mother Laura, <br /><br />I was raised by a stay at home mom because of you! My mother was going to be a career mom, but she heard you on the radio and changed her mind. Thank you, thank you, and thank you for always encouraging women to raise their own children. <br /><br />I just bought "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Praise-Stay-at-Home-Moms-Laura-Schlessinger/dp/B005SNO0L4" target="_blank">In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms</a></em>". I've read all your other books cover to cover. Even though I'm 17, I know that your wisdom will help me become a great stay at home mom and wife. Your books and podcasts have been invaluable to me, as I'm a freshman in college I graduated early and I'm appalled on a daily basis by the attitudes of the women my age. With your help, I feel more than well equipped to take on this world. <br /><br />Thank you for all that you do, mother Laura. <br /><br />Anna<br /><br /></p>
<br /><br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-22T17:58:00Z
Ripples Of Kindness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ripples-Of-Kindness/349485729701953481.html
2017-05-22T17:57:00Z
2017-05-22T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />This video made me think of you and I had to share.<br /><br />Thank you for all you do!<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />Jennifer<br /><br /></p>
<iframe frameborder="0" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/h3ztnR4P4Ow" height="315" width="560"></iframe> <br /><br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-22T17:57:00Z
Letting Go And Moving Forward
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Letting-Go-And-Moving-Forward/-713905571579431589.html
2017-05-19T17:58:00Z
2017-05-19T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am an almost 50-year-old mother of two teenagers who has listened to you for the past several years. I am an alcoholic with almost 7 years sobriety. I enjoy your frankness and honesty in helping people with all the '<em>issues'</em> they call in with. <br /><br />About 3 years ago, the long-struggling relationship my sister and I have had with our father was coming to a head. Listening to you helped me to realize that this was a toxic relationship with a bad person. Just because he had sex with my mother didn't mean that I had to keep a bad relationship going and possibly infect my children with his poor judgment. My sister and I cut ties about a year and a half ago. There was a painful scene but I left it feeling free for the first time in years. I didn't need his approval, love, or anything else. <br /><br />I have my moments where I wish I had a dad but then I realize that I don't and that's OK. I am fully committed to my sobriety, to my children, and to my husband. You have given me the courage to understand. Thank you so much for providing so much wisdom and love to all of your callers. <br /><br />Samantha<br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-05-19T17:58:00Z
Who Agrees With 100% Of Anything?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Who-Agrees-With-100-Of-Anything/-466490434138163135.html
2017-05-19T17:57:00Z
2017-05-19T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />I heard you mention <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/b/Helping-Me-To-Be-A-Better-Person/-204535134272660264.html" target="_blank">another email</a> you received from a '<em>liberal, feminist</em>' listener and I had to laugh. I also proudly fit that description and agreed with her statements of why she listens and how she integrates your program into her worldview. <br /><br />I have listened on and off to you since I was in my twenties and while I also don't agree with everything you say, I appreciate your opinion and insight. I think there are other listeners out there, who like me, value your advice even when we don't always agree with 100% of it. Who does agree with 100% of anything? My anecdotal experience has shown me that while what we hear and see in the media leads many to believe the worst of both liberals and conservatives, plenty of folks are in the middle and not extreme in their words or actions. <br /><br />Overall, just confirming for you-- there are women who appreciate your time and efforts. Thank you for decades of interesting and enlightening radio.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-05-19T17:57:00Z
Time to Move Out!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Time-to-Move-Out!/-202190897341293114.html
2017-05-18T17:58:00Z
2017-05-18T17:58:00Z
<p>I want to let your caller know the advice you gave her to 'pack her son a lunch' is spot on! How do I know? You gave it to me 2 years ago.</p>
<p>Our son, who was a good boy; had good grades, not involved in drugs or alcohol, but for some reason had no drive. After a year of working and then went onto University, we discovered he had been not been going to classes and lied about his grades. He was involved in gaming and allowed that to become his drug of choice.</p>
<p>I called my dear Dr. Laura and although I was pretty sure of what your advice was going to be, I clearly needed to hear it from your lips. We gave him a month to find a place and a job and behold after 30 days he had not found accommodations or a job. In the middle of a January winter in Canada, we turned him out. My eyes were swollen from tears for the first month even though I knew it was the only solution that would save him.</p>
<p>I am happy to report, this fall he will be going to University and is paying for all of it himself!!! He has asked to come home, and we are happy to make that happen with conditions. He is quite agreeable to our terms and has a sense of pride in paying for his upcoming year. He has become a man I am proud to call my son. He has overcome many hurdles, including being homeless. He now values hard work, but most of all understands that the love of family sometimes comes in unexpected ways, but is always there, sometimes guiding if need be.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura. God Bless,</p>
<p>Donna</p>
Staff
2017-05-18T17:58:00Z
Living at Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Living-at-Home/-605008341868865372.html
2017-05-18T17:57:00Z
2017-05-18T17:57:00Z
<p>After college, I had the opportunity to take a job in my hometown. The pay was so low, I would have to live at home. My mother said "No". She said if I didn't break out of my comfort zone and spread my wings at that time, I never would. A couple of weeks later, I got another opportunity in much larger city. I am so grateful for the "tough love" from my parents which pushed me to keep looking and launched a wonderful career in a profession I love.</p>
<p>Contrary to that: my ex-in-laws harbor their oldest son (he's pushing 50). They lost everything in the real estate collapse and only live off social security... and their grown son lives with them, does not work (he owes 30K in back child support) and doesn't even do chores. Their financial condition is such they may go on food stamps. It infuriates me, so I limit contact will all involved. They've made excuses for him all of his life and continue to do so to their detriment, and that of my child (their grandchild). I can't imagine a grandparent willing to tolerate and fully support a capable adult child who won't work, making them financially unable to drive to see their grandchildren.<br /><br />E.</p>
Staff
2017-05-18T17:57:00Z
Laundry Room Piles
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Laundry-Room-Piles/-893370227172766710.html
2017-05-17T17:58:00Z
2017-05-17T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Hi Dr Laura, <br /><br />I was listening to a podcast a few days ago about a woman whose husband was upset because she had a mess in the basement and piles of laundry. You told her to take better care of him and he wouldn't be as negative. It just so happened it was laundry day at our house. I had piles of laundry all over the basement and laundry room. <br /><br />In the middle of my day, before the laundry was finished, my daughter's nap time came around. After she went to sleep, I looked at the piles and thought, should I fold all of this or text my husband for a little fun? I texted my husband. Needless to say, I didn't have time to get laundry folded. He left, she woke up, lunch time rolled around. It didn't get done.<br /><br />Later that afternoon, a man showed up at our house to give us an estimate for installing sprinklers. I was washing dishes when he came into the house with my husband and they headed straight for the basement. GASP!!! I was so embarrassed!! They needed to inspect the pipes in the laundry room! Ugh! They came back upstairs and went outside. As they sat outside, I was trying to figure out something cute or funny I could say about the mess. I was sure my husband would bring it up. He came back inside - not a word. <br /><br />As we were getting ready for bed, I said something about the laundry and that I was mortified when I saw them come in and go downstairs. My husband said, "Everybody has laundry." And gave me a little kiss. So you were very right. And I thought it was a funny coincidence that it happened on the exact day I listened to the podcast.<br /><br />Thank you for being you. And always giving me the motivation to be the best mother and wife I can. You are awesome! <br /><br />Beth</p>
Staff
2017-05-17T17:58:00Z
From a Child's Point of View
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/From-a-Childs-Point-of-View/970967619432213141.html
2017-05-17T17:57:00Z
2017-05-17T17:57:00Z
<p>When I was a little girl, I had this big white stuffed poodle dog that I took everywhere, even to town. When my mother tried to wash some of the dirt off him, I cried next to the wash machine!</p>
<p>It was getting very worn and ratty looking, and wasn't so white anymore, so my parents gave me a new white poodle toy for my birthday, which I instantly loved also! But after I opened the gift, my mom said, "Well, I'll take this old one now and get rid of it since you have a nice new poodle." I flew into panic mode clutching my old poodle, yelling, "No, no! I'm keeping him too!" I think my parents were trying some type of psychology on me with the old dog/new dog trade, but it didn't work. I kept both stuffed toy dogs!</p>
<p>It's funny, I hardly ever think about the old toys anymore, but I sure miss my folks.</p>
<p>Debbie</p>
Staff
2017-05-17T17:57:00Z
Because You Aren't My Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Because-You-Arent-My-Mother/449935337843087443.html
2017-05-16T17:56:00Z
2017-05-16T17:56:00Z
<p><br />I have been a listener for MANY years and my family knows I often quote you. <br /><br />Yesterday I got a Mother's Day flower delivery from my husband. He said, "<em>Do you know why you got them?</em>" He continued, "<em>Because You aren't MY mother!</em>"<br /><br />He was driving my car and the radio was already on the Dr. Laura show. He said you had a commercial for flowers and so he ordered them! Thank you for 'planting the seed'. <br /><br />My roses are lovely!<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-05-16T17:56:00Z
Everyone Wins
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Everyone-Wins/-537697620333142318.html
2017-05-16T17:56:00Z
2017-05-16T17:56:00Z
<p><br />I recently heard a call from a mother who wanted to tell the grandparents to buy fewer gifts for her children. I also did this about 6 years ago. <br /><br />I asked the grandparents to please not buy any toys, but instead, to purchase them experiences. They loved the idea! They even let me know that they actually hated shopping for them anyway. So from that point forward, the grandparents will go together and buy a week of summer camp, or swimming lessons, or the theater. <br /><br />It's wonderful and the grandparents usually come along for their experience gifts. The time and experiences are so precious. And I don't have to pick up a bunch of half broken plastic toys that my kids don't need or appreciate! Everyone wins.</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-16T17:56:00Z
Childhood Obesity
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Childhood-Obesity/649876314015230989.html
2017-05-15T17:58:00Z
2017-05-15T17:58:00Z
<p>My nephew who is 12 years old has been heavy most of his life. He loves the computer and all those hand-held games and surprisingly enough is a couch potato. He is in the 6th grade. I am thankful to a teacher who saw something in him and cared enough for him that she talked him into playing football. The child never had any interest in sports at all, but her conversation with him, he tried out for the team and made varsity. After playing the sport for the whole season he lost 61 pounds! He is able to get lower in his position and most important he walks now with is head held high. His self esteem improved 100%. I have told him the school should use him as an example to his fellow classmates that if you get off the couch and move you can improve your self imagine. I am so very proud of him!!</p>
<p>P.</p>
Staff
2017-05-15T17:58:00Z
The Value of a Dollar
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Value-of-a-Dollar/-175095584950063514.html
2017-05-15T17:57:00Z
2017-05-15T17:57:00Z
<p>The majority of Moms do NOT need to work. It depends where their priorities are and how much they are willing to sacrifice. My sister and her husband live 45+ miles from any major town and raised 4 children. He works, she does not.</p>
<p>They have paid cash for every suburban with 4wheel drive they have ever purchased. All four children went to gymnastics for several years. How did they do it? I swear my sister can make every dollar turn into a $1.25. When you go to their home you are greeted with meals cooked from scratch, drink out of 8 oz yogurt plastic containers for cups, eat off simple mismatched dishes. Ziplock bags are washed out and reused and much more of this nature. She bought clothes when needed, mended lots of clothes and did not wear the latest fashions. I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. We were all raised to appreciate the value of the dollar and have 'gone green' most of our lives.</p>
<p>Our folks taught us the value of family. Once I asked my Mom why she didn't go to PTA meetings and volunteer. Her response paraphrased was "If I did that then I would have to get someone else to take care of you all the time - Best just to take care of my own and do these things when you are up an out." She was right… we need to take care of our own first.<br /><br />Jackie</p>
Staff
2017-05-15T17:57:00Z
My Pug Listens
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Pug-Listens/939184204878732663.html
2017-05-12T17:58:00Z
2017-05-12T17:58:00Z
<p>I was listening to the podcast of your show the other day while my pug was sitting next to me on the sofa. You did one of your "screams," and my sleeping pug immediately sat up, looked over at my laptop, and tilted his head from side to side trying to figure out what that noise was.</p>
<p>So, if you ever have trouble getting your dogs' attention (which I'm sure is never an issue since they are so well-trained), you should know your on-air screams can bring a dog to immediate attention (even if it doesn't always work on the humans).</p>
<p>Thanks for the wonderful program and all you do to protect the interests of children.</p>
<p>K.</p>
Staff
2017-05-12T17:58:00Z
Sibling Squabbles
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sibling-Squabbles/247940169783403582.html
2017-05-12T17:57:00Z
2017-05-12T17:57:00Z
<p>I have two brothers and three sisters, and it finally dawned on me, my Mother adores her sons, and competes with her daughters. <br /><br />She didn't mind using us, but she clearly shows favoritism to her boys. And the funny part, is their wives can barely stand her. And the less my Brothers want to do with her, the closer she tries to get. <br /><br />For years and years, she worked to cause dissention between us all. Since recognizing how she tried to get us all to fight, we finally said "Stop it". <br /><br />She no longer talks to any of us girls. And although we love our Mother, we have accepted it and have gotten a lot closer as siblings. We have even gotten to know our Aunts and cousins, whom she isolated us from. She treated our Grandmother badly too, and we barely knew her. <br /><br />So from her bad example, we have found a great future.</p>
<p>L.</p>
Staff
2017-05-12T17:57:00Z
Normal Is Overrated
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Normal-Is-Overrated/710240651982497004.html
2017-05-11T17:58:00Z
2017-05-11T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I heard you say that you 'don't do brunch' for Mother's Day and that you'd rather go hiking or to the shooting range. You laughed, and said, "<em>Guess that makes us a pretty unusual family, but that's what works for us!</em>" <br /><br />I chuckled to myself because last year for Mother's Day, my two children took me hiking in the morning and to the range in the afternoon. "<em>Unusual</em>" makes you interesting...being "<em>normal</em>" is overrated! <br /><br />Keep on being Unusual, Dr. Laura! <br /><br />Hailey, Unique mom extraordinaire!</p>
Staff
2017-05-11T17:58:00Z
Adoption Ain't Easy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Adoption-Aint-Easy/13999078231383131.html
2017-05-11T17:57:00Z
2017-05-11T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I heard you talking to a lady the other day, She was 60-years-old and at 17, she placed a baby up for adoption. She said she felt shame. Your words to her were so kind. <br /><br />I have heard you talk to other people about adoption and I always get emotional. I am lucky enough to be the adoptive mother of a 6-year-old boy. I feel as strongly as you do that the birth mothers who place their children for adoption are among the strongest people in the world! <br /><br />It's not easy to realize that giving a child a two parent home is best. I will also say, becoming a parent through the loss of another mother is not easy either. <br />Every adoption is different. There is a lot more I could say, but I just wanted to thank you for being a great advocate for adoption. <br /><br />Ashley<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-05-11T17:57:00Z
If She Won't Listen To Me, She'll Listen To Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/If-She-Wont-Listen-To-Me,-Shell-Listen-To-Dr.-Laura/111596551065757793.html
2017-05-10T17:58:00Z
2017-05-10T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />My 20-year-old just got home from college for the summer yesterday and her boyfriend broke up with her the same way as last summer. I told her that I absolutely would not keep on saying the same things as I did last summer! <br /><br />So, she decided to call you. I listened in my car as you so tenderly helped her and I just wanted to say THANK YOU!!!! She was so nervous but I thought she did a great job. She needed to hear it from someone other than her mother and father.<br /><br />Thanks again, <br /><br />May<br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-05-10T17:58:00Z
In Sickness And In Health
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/In-Sickness-And-In-Health/-486909665480340759.html
2017-05-10T17:57:00Z
2017-05-10T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I listen to you every day on my way to work. I recently heard a call from a man who was thinking about cheating on his wife because of her disabilities from a car accident. He appalled me. My husband and I were together for 18 years. During those 18 years I have had 3 major back surgeries and never once did he think about cheating. <br /><br />He was there all the way with me. And after my recovery we took sex slow and explored what worked best for me to get enjoyment, not pain. Then last year, we found out my husband had stage 4 lung cancer. I was very fortunate to be able to be with home with him to the end. He passed away August 11th, 2016 at the age of 60. He was my husband and when got we took our vows, part of the vows were "<strong><em>IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH</em></strong>". <br /><br />Don't get me wrong we had our share of disagreements and silence, but we always worked it out. I am so fortunate and proud that my husband and myself took our vows seriously. Just because the chips were down, we never thought about finding a new model.<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-05-10T17:57:00Z
You Sound Like Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Sound-Like-Dr.-Laura/-469560150565181406.html
2017-05-09T17:58:00Z
2017-05-09T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Yesterday, I ran across a Facebook page who shared a post that mentioned some things wives do which annoy their husbands, of course encouraging them not to do them. Naturally, the comments included both agreement and the always to be expected: "<em>What about the wives? What about me? It goes both ways?</em>" <br /><br />I couldn't hold back because that kind of attitude makes me want to scream. I wrote a lengthy rant of a comment endorsing the post and admonishing the women who can never just listen to anything about what men need without asking what's in it for them. <br /><br />Responses to my own comment were positive, but one was simply, "<em>You sound like Dr. Laura.</em>" And it struck me that I don't know if the person meant it sarcastically or as a compliment, but however it was intended; I'm taking it as positive because women need to hear this stuff often and everywhere. <br /><br />I don't have an audience like yours, but I do what I can in my little corner of the world because the truth is the truth like it or lump it! <br /><br />Keep up the good fight!<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-05-09T17:58:00Z
The Bad Boy Trap
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Bad-Boy-Trap/526002578822055660.html
2017-05-09T17:57:00Z
2017-05-09T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I must admit that it took me longer than it should have to stop my bad boy dating pattern. I guess it's just hard to let go of something that you has become so comfortable. The drama, that bad Boys Bring to the table became a weird excitement for me that was intoxicating. I wore myself out trying to change them and they got angrier and angrier the more I tried. <br /><br />News flash for me was...they never changed despite my best efforts! I could sit here and over analyze how I got into such a pattern and blame my childhood, but why does it matter? The bottom line is I was able to break free of it. It all starts with realizing that you deserve a quality individual. The time wasted in trying to change someone can be used in really enjoying your life either in a healthy relationship or being single. <br /><br />Like our own Dr. Laura would say...."from now till dead what kind of life do you want"? YOU have control over it! Be smart and break the chains of the bad boys!!! They have nothing to offer you.<br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-05-09T17:57:00Z
Comparing Myself to Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Comparing-Myself-to-Me/-154003390669040243.html
2017-05-08T17:58:00Z
2017-05-08T17:58:00Z
<p>I started thinking about your question, "As an adult, who do you compare yourself to? Why, and how do you measure up?"</p>
<p>I compare myself to me as I was yesterday:</p>
<ul>
<li>Am I a better person than the day before and what can I do to be a better person today?</li>
<li>How can I better provide for my wife and sons physical, spiritual, and emotional needs?</li>
<li>How can I make someone smile? Is there someone in my daily experience that needs my help?</li>
</ul>
<p>I measure just up because I try. As long as I keep trying to do better tomorrow I will always measure up. Sounds corny, I know, but this works for me.</p>
<p>Vic</p>
Staff
2017-05-08T17:58:00Z
The Golden Friend Rule
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Golden-Friend-Rule/211862359800680173.html
2017-05-08T17:58:00Z
2017-05-08T17:58:00Z
Dr. Laura, <br /><br /><br />Finding a compatible friend is more simple thank you might think. I only really stick to one major rule. <br /><br />On the outside my true friends come in all shapes, sizes, etc. but what they all have in common is that <strong>we share the same values</strong>. By that, I am referring to the BIGGIES in the value bucket like: <br />
<ul>
<li>Honesty</li>
<br />
<li>Integrity</li>
<br />
<li>Respect</li>
<br />
<li>Family</li>
<br />
<li>Health </li>
<br />
<li>Loyalty </li>
</ul>
When a friendship fizzles, as they can very easily do, it can usually be traced back to their lack of a core value for me that wasn't apparent prior to that time.<br /><br />Dan<br /><br /><br /><br />What is your major rule when it comes to your friends? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2017-05-08T17:58:00Z
7th Grade Boys Behavior
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/7th-Grade-Boys-Behavior/585656664436962816.html
2017-05-05T17:58:00Z
2017-05-05T17:58:00Z
<p>I'm proud to say I am my kids' Mom. Unfortunately I must admit to spending some time in hiding over the past three years as my four precious sons navigate middle school. I have decided 7th grade boys are not completely human yet. My sons each have a rap sheet that when printed out, double spaced, takes up more than one sheet of paper. Crimes include taking a kite to school and flying it in the courtyard at break, writing on the bathroom tile with dry erase markers, taking their dog to first period, dropping their pants to tuck in their shirt, running to the billboard erected in front of the school and "faking" hitting their heads, falling to the ground and rolling in "pain", playing "ditch em" with the playground supervisor and bringing a water bottle to class (a gallon milk jug) . . . the list goes on and on.</p>
<p>The Vice-Principal knows my cell-phone number. She has called me laughing, crying and spitting angry. It seems my boys spend more time in detention than they do in class. Because I currently have three boys in middle school, I don't feel qualified to advise others. I've still got a year and a half to go.</p>
<p>In the meantime, my husband and I assign additional work assignments for discipline that may include washing windows, hoeing the garden, pulling weeds, moving rocks and spreading mulch. The boys are great workers, very physically fit from the additional work they do and our home and yard look great. If I had to give advice to others it would be . . . hang on tight and whatever you do, don't lose your sense of humor. I wouldn't trade anything for the blessing of being Mom to four boys. <br />I think my cell-phone is ringing! LOL</p>
<p>Christine</p>
Staff
2017-05-05T17:58:00Z
The Voice Within
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Voice-Within/90610046879344114.html
2017-05-05T17:57:00Z
2017-05-05T17:57:00Z
<p>My granddaughter's friend was going into rehab for an eating disorder, so she wrote this. Obviously, I think it is wonderful. So much feeling. She is starting college this fall and wants to be a physician. We are very proud of her. I just had to share it. -- Georgia</p>
<p><strong>The Voice Within</strong><br />Allie Doles</p>
<p>I feel him in your eyes<br />I hear him in your voice<br />I see him kill you, slowly<br />I taste him in your actions<br />I smell him in the midnight air<br />More than all of this, I know.</p>
<p>I feel him pierce your soul<br />I feel the pain he causes you<br />I feel the tears roll down your face<br />I feel the hasty jerks of his violent spells<br />I feel him stab you, metaphorically yet so physically<br />More than I feel, I know.</p>
<p>I hear him tell you that you are "ugly"<br />I hear you tell yourself how much you hate him<br />I hear him tell you that you aren't "good enough"<br />I hear you tell him "no" as he yells louder and louder until you finally give in<br />I hear the words your heart screams, though your mind hears only a muffled whisper<br />More than I hear, I know.</p>
<p>I see you lose yourself, all because of him<br />I see you suffer every day, every single day<br />I see you die because of the lies he tells you<br />I see you do things your normal self would never do<br />I see the way you are deceived and painfully realize that all I can do is pray<br />More than I see, I know.</p>
<p>I taste your desire to overcome him<br />I taste the repercussions of his lies in the air<br />I taste each fabrication as he so blissfully spits it out<br />I taste the droplets of sorrow as they silently hit the ground<br />I taste his evil words as they flow so beautifully from your lips<br />More than I taste, I know.</p>
<p>I smell the lies he manipulates you into believing<br />I smell the fear released from your body all day long<br />I smell the aftermath of his many false claims of truth<br />I smell the odors of the things he has taught you to love<br />I smell odoriferous villains he sends to pace all around you<br />More than I smell, I know.</p>
<p>I know you hate him<br />I know you want him to leave<br />I know you can't go on like this forever<br />I know are scared to tell him it's "okay" to go<br />I know you are scared to release your power of control<br />I know.</p>
<p>...and...<br />More than I feel the demon<br />More than I hear the demon<br />More than I see the demon<br />More than I taste the demon<br />More than I smell the demon<br />More than I know the demon<br />I believe.</p>
<p>I believe in you, not him<br />I believe you can overcome<br />I believe you can defeat him<br />I believe that my prayers will one day be answered<br />I believe in the power of the Almighty God that I so reverently serve<br />I believe.</p>
Staff
2017-05-05T17:57:00Z
Listening and Learning
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Listening-and-Learning/545196176878831297.html
2017-05-04T17:58:00Z
2017-05-04T17:58:00Z
<p>I was listening to your show the other day and thinking to myself that I hope you never retire. If someday you feel the need to, could we possibly clone you? I guess the tricky part is cloning your brain though.</p>
<p>I want my girls, ages 12 and 15, to have the same opportunity as I've had, being able to listen to your advice and learn from it. I have never had the need to call, which is great and must mean you are doing your job right. I listen to you while I'm cleaning the house or driving in the car. I love how you put people in their place when needed and am thankful that it is not me on the receiving end.</p>
<p>You are so inspirational, with your advice, how active you are, how you are always trying new things, and how mentally strong you are...what a great role model for everyone.</p>
<p>It's great how you make people responsible for their own actions. Finally, someone strong enough to do that! We truly need more of you in this world.</p>
<p>I love being a wife and mom more than anything in this world and I believe listening to you has made me even better at both. So thank you for sharing your insight with a world that so desperately needs it.</p>
<p>One more thing, I am also amazed at how articulate and eloquently you speak. That's on my wish list for my next life. I am my kids' mom, my husband's girlfriend and Dr. Laura's faithful listener.</p>
<p>Karri</p>
Staff
2017-05-04T17:58:00Z
My Twins' Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Twins-Love/-580283367345920605.html
2017-05-04T17:57:00Z
2017-05-04T17:57:00Z
<br /><br />Hi, Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I'm work-at-home mom of 2.5-year-old twins. I'm currently training for a half-marathon that's just over a month away, so I'm working out a lot, usually early in the morning before the kids get up. This time is my opportunity to listen to your podcast and prepare to take on my day. Having your voice in my ear helps me keep going through that last mile on the trail or that last set of reps on the machine. <br /><br />This morning, when I got home from my run, I helped my stay-at-home-dad husband put our kiddos in the car on their way to an adventure for the day. One of the boys noticed my earphones. "What are those, Mama?" he asked, pointing at the cord as I buckled him into his car seat. "Those are my earphones, buddy," I told him. "For to listen to Dr. Laura, Mama?" he asked. "Yes, for listening to Dr. Laura," I said, surprised. "Good girl, Mommy," he told me. His brother nodded in approval. Apparently I've been more vocal to the kids about you than I had previously realized -- and apparently my toddlers appreciate your influence on their mom. <br /><br />Thanks for all you do! <br /><br />Warmly, <br /><br />Kristen\
Staff
2017-05-04T17:57:00Z
Listening To Aunt Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Listening-To-Aunt-Laura/-951038359193864182.html
2017-05-03T17:58:00Z
2017-05-03T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I've always had a special empathy for my youngest son, Jack because I know he struggles with being the little brother. Frequently being compared to his older siblings at school or by others. I've been lucky enough to have one on one time with Jack, every day; both to and from school this year and we have some pretty great conversations. <br /><br />Earlier this week we were on our way home from school and we were listening to Dr. Laura, as we do every day. He said '<em>Mom do you ever think of calling Dr. Laura? Maybe she can help you with the situation with your sisters. I mean, after all, she is always right.</em>' Smart Kid! I've learned a lot by listening to the advice that she's given other callers in similar situations and it's brought me a lot of peace'. He tells me that he notices that. Then he says he wishes Dr. Laura was his Aunt so he could have an Aunt to look up to and admire. I say to him that would be pretty special, wouldn't it? <br /><br />So now we no longer listen to Dr. Laura on our way home from school. We listen to Aunt Laura!</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-03T17:58:00Z
Father Knows Best
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Father-Knows-Best/-393945593633569962.html
2017-05-03T17:57:00Z
2017-05-03T17:57:00Z
<p><br />After a break up of my daughter's, she tearfully asked who was going to be interested in her at 25. I pulled out a post-it pad I had in my pocket and said, I could guarantee she would not waste any more time on people who were not ideal. <br /><br /><strong>IF</strong> she covered these basic items on the first 1 or 2 dates, and any 1 is a deal breaker if it does not align with hers. <br /><br /></p>
<ul>
<li>1. <strong>what is his intent?</strong> marriage, a hook up, just having a girlfriend etc. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>2. <strong>If he was intending on settling down, what was his timeline</strong> in months and years? Assuming the right person was chosen.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>3. <strong>What is his history:</strong> Married, children, the law, work.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>4. <strong>What is his job now</strong>, and what are his career aspirations. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>5. <strong>What is his feeling about family</strong> /children /parenting /working mothers etc. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>6? <strong>What were prior relationships like? </strong>Was he living with someone? Engaged? "What # are you in his life? If greater than 3, ask yourself/him who #4 is likely to be. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>7.<strong> Ask him about his family... does he have a good relationship with them?</strong> What is their marriage like? The way he was raised is a strong indication of what he has groomed to become. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>8. <strong>Assess his attitude toward alcohol/drugs. </strong>If there appear to are excesses demonstrated during your first or 2nd date, run. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>9. <strong>Does he treat you like a lady?</strong> Language, demeanor, temper, attitude toward others... waitress, concierge etc. This shows his charter beyond his performance trying to impress you. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>10. <strong>If he passes these 9 tests, I want to meet him.</strong> Family when intact is usually the best judge of a person's intent and character. Sussing out the basics before diving in allows you to make a rations decision before there is any emotional involvement. Emotion will only create "but... he's ____" when confronted one of these big red flags. </li>
</ul>
<p><br /><br />Needless to say, she pulled the note on the first date and went through the list. A short time later, she brought him around for a meeting and today they are married with a child; with the entire family's delight and blessing! <br /><br />Unfortunately, not every child is willing to take such logical steps, and the consequences are left for the family to pick up afterward. I'm just an Old Fashioned. <br /><br />"Father Knows Best" </p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-03T17:57:00Z
Staying in My Comfort Zone
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Staying-in-My-Comfort-Zone/-319975366105492171.html
2017-05-02T17:58:00Z
2017-05-02T17:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am writing to thank you for helping me to understand why I do certain things which have held me back in terms of career and relationships and for just getting me excited about life in general. I would also like to thank you for just standing up for what is just and moral.</p>
<p>I have been guilty of not going beyond my comfort zone, so I never put myself "out there" professionally or personally, which has resulted in me not living up to my potential. This is no way to go through life because it's not truly living, it's just going through the motions and life is too precious for that. Staying in my comfort zone will no longer be my modus operandi.</p>
<p>From your handling of callers to your books, I have learned a tremendous amount about myself, being a woman, and men.</p>
<p>I am not alone in knowing you are a positive force in this world for good and for empowering people to live life to its fullest. Thank you for what you do.</p>
<p>Tracy</p>
Staff
2017-05-02T17:58:00Z
11 Years Later
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/11-Years-Later/852942891560605780.html
2017-05-02T17:57:00Z
2017-05-02T17:57:00Z
<p>I was 23 and stupid but smart enough to know I had to find a job to make some money before I stared graduate school. At that job, the radio was set to your show. Thank God for that. I heard you say "you have to kiss a lot of toads before you find your prince". The quote is still in my bible today, 11 years later.</p>
<p>I left that needy girl behind along with a bad relationship and a toxic guy. I found myself and because of that, found my prince. I completed Graduate school, got an excellent job in healthcare serving our nation's veterans and wounded warriors.</p>
<p>I have listened to you every day after work to keep my "girlfriend" skills fine tuned. My husband and I have a beautiful baby girl and as I type this, I have just emailed my letter of resignation to a top notch boss so I can now become My Kid's Mom - full time. Thank you Dr. Laura. Without your advice, I know I would not have been shaped into the wise woman, wife, and mother I have come to be. Of all life's decisions I have made, the most difficult has been to put my career on the back burner. I work every day to improve the quality of life for our veterans of war and while this is of great need, ultimately, my daughter needs me more. I am certain without your mission, I would not have hit send on that email today.</p>
<p>From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I'll keep you posted on life as My Kid's Mom and My Husband's Girlfriend.</p>
<p>C.</p>
Staff
2017-05-02T17:57:00Z
Learning With Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-With-Dr.-Laura/69673415954344229.html
2017-05-01T17:57:00Z
2017-05-01T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I would first like to thank you. I have known for years my daughter has listened to your program and understood so much more than I could have ever taught her. The word integrity, was taught to her by you and she lives it. <br /><br />She is a strong and caring women. Unfortunately, I have a mental condition and have never, really been a consistent example for her. So simply, thank you for being who you are. I wanted you to know you have made it a better world for her.</p>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-01T17:57:00Z
Small Actions Can Have Big Consequences
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Small-Actions-Can-Have-Big-Consequences/479063409399942544.html
2017-05-01T17:57:00Z
2017-05-01T17:57:00Z
<p> </p>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1493403616266_4583">I was listening when were talking about your son dropping a bottle of some drink because it was wet. Your husband did not want to give him another one because he "<em>didn't take care of the one he had</em>". <br /><br />I remember a time when I was very small and at my grandmother's house. I dropped a dish of ice cream. When my mother asked for more, my grandmother told her, that I dropped mine, so I couldn't have more. <br /><br />I'm 61 years old Dr. Laura, and I still remember how it made me feel. I agree with you. How you talk to your kids will have life long consequences. <br /><br />Thank you for all you do!</div>
<br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-05-01T17:57:00Z
Why God Made Moms
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-God-Made-Moms/-342574933955758235.html
2017-04-28T17:58:00Z
2017-04-28T17:58:00Z
<p>This was sent in from Marie. Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:</p>
<p><strong>Why did God make mothers?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.</li>
<li>Mostly to clean the house..</li>
<li>To help us out of there when we were getting born.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>How did God make mothers?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.</li>
<li>Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.</li>
<li>God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>What ingredients are mothers made of?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.</li>
<li>They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>We're related.</li>
<li>God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>What kind of a little girl was your mom?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.</li>
<li>I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.</li>
<li>They say she used to be nice.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>What did Mom need to know about Dad before she married him?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>His last name.</li>
<li>She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?</li>
<li>Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>Why did your mom marry your dad?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.</li>
<li>She got too old to do anything else with him.</li>
<li>My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>Who's the boss at your house?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because Dad's such a goof ball.</li>
<li>Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.</li>
<li>I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>What's the difference between moms and dads?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them..</li>
<li>Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.</li>
<li>Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>What does your mom do in her spare time?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>Mothers don't do spare time.</li>
<li>To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>What would it take to make your mom perfect?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.</li>
<li>Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.</li>
<li>I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.</li>
<li>I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.</li>
</ol>
Staff
2017-04-28T17:58:00Z
Do the Right Thing Anyway
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Do-the-Right-Thing-Anyway/452923962449511532.html
2017-04-28T17:57:00Z
2017-04-28T17:57:00Z
<p>I was reminded of this quote by Mother Teresa when you were talking to the mom who was upset because her stepdaughter was graduating and the maternal grandma chose to go to a wedding instead. God Bless that mom for holding all 4 of her daughters equally in her heart. I had a sweet step dad who was Victorian and not very demonstrative, but I felt he loved me and my life would have been so awful without him. He gave up a lot to take care of us and I will always be grateful for it. I have been a teacher and child advocate most of my adult life because I needed a champion as a child and he stepped up. - Penny</p>
<p>Here is the quote:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>"People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered: Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives: Be kind anyway. What you spend years creating others could destroy overnight: Create anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous: Be happy anyway. The good you do today, will often be forgotten: Do good anyway. Give the best you have, and it may never be enough: Give your best anyway. In the final analysis, it is between you and God: It was never between you and them anyway."</p>
<p>- Mother Teresa</p>
</blockquote>
Staff
2017-04-28T17:57:00Z
Parents Take Charge!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parents-Take-Charge!/537362893835523049.html
2017-04-27T17:58:00Z
2017-04-27T17:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I would like to share a suggestion to the Father with concerns about over-correcting by taking away computer time. My four kids (13y-g, 10y-b, 8y-b, 6y-b) and I are attending therapy. Of all horrible things in the world, their biggest complaint about MOM was I take them out to do FUN STUFF instead of allowing them unlimited Playstation time. My 8yr old even shed some tears. At the moment I felt CRUSHED to hear all these complaints of what a horrible mommy I was. So, my mommy wheels are always turning... I MADE A NEGATIVE INTO A POSITIVE. I said, Ok I hear you, and your frustrations about THE LACK OF TIME on the Playstation, so from now on, you will earn your Playstation time. There is a posted list in the living room, of daily kiddie chores (like you suggested for the caller) that need to be done. Before bed, if all chores are done they will be compensated w/a 30 min voucher. Any additional chores done without me asking may earn each child, 10-15 min vouchers. I printed check-like looking slips of paper, and so I get my "checkbook" out and they get compensated with WEEKEND VOUCHERS for Playstation time.</p>
<p>EVERYONE complains about kids feeling they are owed material stuff, or being ungrateful, well... Mommies stop your whining, tighten up your mommy apron, and take charge! Seems like parents now days are afraid to hurt their kids' feelings, but they forget kids need to learn lessons at their young age.</p>
<p>Thank you for your show, I am THE MEAN MOMMY to my four kids, in Northern Santa Barbara County!!!</p>
<p>Z.</p>
Staff
2017-04-27T17:58:00Z
College and a Husband... Both by Chance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/College-and-a-Husband...-Both-by-Chance/233245594955245849.html
2017-04-27T17:57:00Z
2017-04-27T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><em>"Did you ever observe to whom the accidents happen? Chance favors only the prepared mind." </em>- Louis Pasteur</p>
<p>I graduated in the top ten of my high school class, and was accepted into my first choice expensive private college. However, the financial aid package still meant I could not afford to attend this school without going into major debt. In late June, after high school graduation, the director, of the honors program to which I had been admitted, called to ask me why I hadn't registered for classes yet. I admitted I could not afford to attend the school. She made a few phone calls and one of the admissions officers set up interviews with two philanthropic groups. Between the scholarships I had earned and the original aid package, I only had to pay a quarter of the total tuition for four years. That one call changed my life. I later learned as an alumna that often groups award money to incoming freshmen who end up committing to other universities, and then the scholarship money comes available. No doubt I earned those kinds of awards thanks to the care and interest of two admissions counselors on campus.</p>
<p>My husband and I have known each other since elementary school; however, we never dated each other. We grew up several blocks apart. As an adult, I moved back home to save money for my future as I started my teaching career. While roller-skating for exercise in full 80s neon spandex, I saw my friend washing his car outside. I could have just skated by, but by chance I decided to talk. We chatted about our cars (both convertibles) and other things. I was saving to buy a new car at the time. Six months later, I was driving my spiffy new convertible home from work. I started car flirting with the guy in the convertible next to me. Well, it was my friend. We waved each other down and I followed him home... another chancy move. We started chatting again and exchanged numbers. He lived downtown not far from where I went to college, and we talked about going out in the city. The next week he called me up, and we started dating. This month we will be celebrating our 20th anniversary.</p>
<p>So indeed, chance does favor the prepared mind!</p>
<p>Lori</p>
Staff
2017-04-27T17:57:00Z
Compliment and Hug
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Compliment-and-Hug/-127014781504859409.html
2017-04-26T17:58:00Z
2017-04-26T17:58:00Z
<br />I caught a part of your show today while driving, the caller was feeling overwhelmed by her son. She felt as though her mean mom was inside her. She said that she didn't have a good roll model growing up and it was showing up in her parenting.<br /> <br />I cried when you told her to visualize her mom. I visualized my own mother, getting closer and closer and trying to get inside her. She was instructed to push her back, back, back. And the fact she could do that proved that her mom is not inside her. I found this so helpful and comforting. <br /><br />I do NOT want to parent like my mother. The best part was when you told her to handle situations with her son with a hug and a compliment. A hug and a compliment. I love this so much and I plan to use this every chance I get with my daughter. So simple. <br /><br />Please accept my enormous gratitude for not only this, but for all the wisdom I have gained over the decades is your show. <br /><br />Much love,<br /><br />Alice
Staff
2017-04-26T17:58:00Z
Adopting a Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Adopting-a-Family/-965768747018088397.html
2017-04-26T17:57:00Z
2017-04-26T17:57:00Z
<p>I first learned I would be a father via a phone call. Not that unusual, I know, but there's a twist: this was a call from a county worker. She left both me and my wife a voicemail saying, "Hey it's [me] - give me a call." We were in the adoption process and had completed our training. The casual nature of the message made us both think that maybe we'd forgotten to sign a form or something. Not quite.</p>
<p>Once we called her back we learned that there was a sibling group of 3, (which fit our stated parameters), ages 8 months to 4 years. They needed a "priority placement" or they would be adopted separately. After much talk and prayer we knew our home was where they belonged.</p>
<p>After a short but still gradual transition, they moved in and spent their first night together under our roof.</p>
<p>They are now 6, 7, and 10-years-old. All are excelling in school, (as in literally off the charts), and My Lovely Daughter (MLD) is a BLACK BELT at 10! The boys are doing well and will be black belts at about the same time. I'm teaching MLD to shoot and each has a mini-compound bow.</p>
<p>I always imagined having a family and this one is better than any I could have dreamed up.</p>
<p>Chris</p>
Staff
2017-04-26T17:57:00Z
How I Win People Over
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Win-People-Over/-939091830393826318.html
2017-04-25T17:58:00Z
2017-04-25T17:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am a 42-year-old daytime student at a smallish University in Southern California. Every semester on the first day of class, the students don't know what to make of me and whisper behind my back and occasionally, snicker rudely. I am going to school to become an elementary school teacher (my lifelong dream) and by the end of every semester I have made several young, very nice new friends.</p>
<p>How do I do this? I am myself! I offer help to everyone - in the form of a pencil, paper, stapler, sharing my book and knowing what the homework is at all times. I am a hardworking, dedicated and prepared student. In group settings I offer my ideas but am also willing to accept others' suggestions. I also have great props from my real life (like a huge Great Dane and chickens that have participated in many group projects with very dramatic effect).</p>
<p>By the end of each semester that I have been back in school, every "kid" who has gotten to know me really ends up respecting and liking me. A few have even confided that initially they didn't care for me (particularly the girls) and they were so wrong to judge me before they knew me. One girl even said "Having you in class is liking having my mom around to help me, but you are much cooler than her!"</p>
<p>I never let anyone's opinions of me affect my confidence and I always smile and offer help to those who need it, whether they ask or not.</p>
<p>I am a huge fan for 20 years. Dr. Laura, you dramatically changed the course of my life and I will forever be grateful to you for that!</p>
<p>Kelly</p>
Staff
2017-04-25T17:58:00Z
Over Committed?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Over-Committed/508448914072455092.html
2017-04-25T17:57:00Z
2017-04-25T17:57:00Z
<p>When I was a youngster, I was a latch-key kid. This meant virtually no outside school activities, as I had no one to take me to and fro. I was very active within the school, however: band, choir, an after school sewing club, and on the yearbook staff (I ran track for a while...but didn't like the "friendly" coach). That was it, and it was all my own doing, I was never pushed by my mother, in other words, I didn't need outside motivation. Outside of school I was active in the church, but so was my mother, though we weren't there every time the doors were open. I did not feel overwhelmed, I would say, "balanced," though that was not a purposeful discipline. It just happened!</p>
<p>Consequently, when I had children, my husband and I purposed not to have them in every activity imaginable. (That could have easily happened, as I am a stay at home mother.) With sports clubs that start at 3 years of age, as well as music lessons can start that young, and the fact we have five children, we realized we would have very little time to just "be" if we were running to and fro. How can a child learn to "be still" if they are always running to, or being run to, activity after activity?</p>
<p>I had an interesting conversation with a mother while on a silent retreat some years ago (we talked at meal time, but not in between, as women can gab and gab, not the purpose of a "silent" retreat). She had four sons (I have four sons) who were all very active in hockey, as was her husband. Hockey schedules here are very serious, sometimes practices went late into the night, with her sons getting home around midnight at times. Often she was going one direction while her husband was going another. She was frazzled, and wondered how I kept from running what she called a "rat race." I said, simply, "We just don't do it."</p>
<p>I laugh when I think of that!</p>
<p>What drives a parent who must have their children running to and fro every day? Is it we have vehicles that can take us to these many activities? Does their identity rest in the number of activities their children participate in? Do these families have a day of rest, where they connect with each other? It is a good thing to be busy, but busy does not necessarily mean productive. Sometimes doing nothing when there is nothing to do is the most productive thing you can do! (Let's face it, we can always find something to do...I could, right now, scrub the floor...but there is a time for that, and it isn't now.)</p>
<p>A little wise "letting alone," in my humble opinion, is more helpful for children and families than running to and fro.</p>
<p>Deb</p>
Staff
2017-04-25T17:57:00Z
A No Nonsense Woman
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-No-Nonsense-Woman/-4630783570734044.html
2017-04-24T17:58:00Z
2017-04-24T17:58:00Z
<p>I was raised by a no nonsense woman. Life was simple for my mom. If you told the truth and stood up for what was right, all would go well for you. Many times as a child, I would tell my mom about an incidence. She would give me her best advice, to which I would reply "They will be mad." She would reply "They will just have to get glad." Hard words to swallow for a kid, but that was my mom, very straight forward.</p>
<p>Years past and I grew and had children of my own. I had 3 daughters. I raised my kids with the same approach to life. Tell the truth and be honest and all will be ok.</p>
<p>My mother died when my girls were small. I missed her no nonsense advice. There was no one in my life who could tell it like it was like my mom. Then one day shortly after we moved to L.A. in the very early '80s, I was searching for a radio station and there she was: My Mom on the radio. Her name was different and her voice not the same, but the comments and the same no nonsense approach to life. This lady's name was Dr. Laura…. It was pure joy on my part and I have been a loyal listener ever since. I would listen to Dr. Laura when I picked up the girls from school everyday. Yes I was a stay at home mom. I felt this was my number 1 job. The girls are grown now, but when one of them has a unique problem the other says "That sounds like a Dr. Laura call for sure." We all say, "Yes it does. What would Dr. Laura say for advice?"</p>
<p>I have learned so much from you. You has taught us about things like putting children first above all else, staying home with your children has great value, how to stand up to abortion, how the sexualization of young children is evil, how divorce HURTS kids most of all, how to treat our spouses and to pick well and treat kindly. Most of all you have inspired me to carry your thoughts out into my world and to the people I come in contact with; to go in to our community, help kids and talk the truth about the worlds around us. My parents are my true heroes in life, but next to them is you. You have carried on for years with sometimes not much more than criticism and yet you just keep going and going and going.</p>
<p>Thank you soooo much for staying on the air and tell people what they need to hear and not what they want to hear. You are loved by millions of listeners; they can't all be wrong. I am sure there are people who you have truly helped save their lives. I just wanted to tell you how you help us not so messed up people, who find it hard to rise to the top anymore, to do just that: Rise to the top and love the view. Thanks for all you do for all our mental health in a very crazy world.<br /><br />J.</p>
Staff
2017-04-24T17:58:00Z
Influencing Generations
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Influencing-Generations/-194546256247026546.html
2017-04-24T17:57:00Z
2017-04-24T17:57:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I wound up registering on your site, and felt compelled to take a moment to thank you for all the years of influence you have been in my life.</p>
<p>My 14 year old daughter is doing her homework as I type, and I want to mention that kid has grown up "knowing" you, hearing your voice as she rode in her baby car seat, and then booster seat. I decided to quit my job when she was born, and it was LARGELY due to YOU and your influence. I was a teacher myself, and when it came time to find an appropriate day care, I kept hearing your words in my head. I left that day care "interview", 8 months pregnant and huge. While the babies in the day care were beautiful as can be, they were propped up in a circle, each in his/her own little baby seat, and there was no practical way for each one to have much attention. They looked like little planes waiting on a runway, or maybe a warehouse for babies. It made me feel so sad I made up my mind then and there we would figure out how to live on one paycheck. We did have to scale back financially in EVERY way, truly we did, but I became the second-hand store super-shopper. I was so well known to the ladies there they put my then-baby daughter and me in one of their television commercials. Very cool.</p>
<p>So that's how we spent our days, while she was growing up, we had a routine, playgroups, field trips, and plenty of time to bond. We'd get into our car and take a little spin just before nap time. I'd buy a yummy coffee drink (my daily indulgence) and then baby, later toddler, and I would drive and listen to you on the radio! It was the best part of my day, it really was, it helped center me, reassure me, and remind me why I'd quit a job I loved. I listened to your sage wisdom, and that was time I could NEVER RECLAIM. I am so glad you came into our lives through the radio. To give you an idea how long ago that's been, when we started listening, you were advertising your 50th birthday party, and later the second annual 50th birthday party, LOL. My daughter claims she remembers all that. I was decidedly indoctrinating her; I wanted her to be immersed in the wisdom that is your show. Now, that doesn't mean we always see eye-to-eye on everything, but I don't think you expect or demand that from your loyal followers, not at all.</p>
<p>Fast forward to now: daughter is 14 and she is a wonderful, kind-hearted, DECENT kid, one who thinks of others, one who lives to honor herself by her own deeds and good works. And I can't resist telling you that now, when we're in the car we say, "Oh, oh, oh, Dr. Laura's on, let's listen." and sometimes someone will ask a question that makes us each turn to the other and go "OH NO! You must not listen to this show, you are gonna be so BUSTED!!" We laugh and realize we've been bonding over your show all these years. EVERY DAY YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE. THANK YOU FOR THE INFLUENCIAL TEACHER YOU'VE BEEN.</p>
<p>Lisa</p>
Staff
2017-04-24T17:57:00Z
A Gentle Reminder
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Gentle-Reminder/756530109649524128.html
2017-04-21T17:58:00Z
2017-04-21T17:58:00Z
<br />I called asking if I should make a big deal about my husband not wearing his wedding ring. You suggested that I try to communicate more clearly with him. Later that day I told him that when he doesn't wear his wedding ring the message that I am getting is that he is embarrassed to be married to me. I used the word "embarrassed". The hubby told me that he does not wear the ring because he's just "gotten use" to not wearing it. Then he agreed to wear it again so he can show that he is married and committed to this union. <br /><br />He did share that he does, at times, feel embarrassed by my actions. I apologized and have been working on being a better person in this area; excepting his answers instead of trying to foolishly persuade him with embarrassment. <br /><br />Thanks for the insight Dr. Laura. <br /><br /><br /><br />P.S. I caught him wearing his wedding ring this afternoon! I thanked him for showing me his love and commitment in this special way. =D<br />
Staff
2017-04-21T17:58:00Z
I Don't Know...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Dont-Know.../-618980658314411099.html
2017-04-21T17:57:00Z
2017-04-21T17:57:00Z
<br /><br />You asked us to let you know why WE think people call in and say, "<em>I don't know</em>". I can think of four answers to this question: <br /><br />
<ul>
<li>People are socially conditioned to have an answer to everything. In grade school, I can recall children raising their hands to answer a question, and when called upon they would say, "<em>I don't know</em>." I used to work in tech support and I found that my coworkers had a tendency to say something that sounded right when they didn't know the actual answer.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>I think there is also a conditioning to be cooperative in conversations and to find agreement. I am, like you, someone who is quite literal. I've noticed many people, however, will have conversations with imprecision where they will agree on common experiences without defining the terms.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>There do seem to be some level of automatic behavior in some of the callers. Perhaps it's the shock of suddenly being on radio. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>They may in fact have done something similar to what you are recommending, and are attempting to relate to you a commonality rather than to discount your suggestion.</li>
</ul>
<br /><br />
Staff
2017-04-21T17:57:00Z
Feeding Your Soul
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Feeding-Your-Soul/684392970989449369.html
2017-04-20T17:58:00Z
2017-04-20T17:58:00Z
<br />You were spot on with the mother who called in about losing both of her children. As you say, the pain is excruciating at times...<br /><br /> I have also lost two children. I lost one son at age 17 from Glioblastoma, and I lost my daughter at the age of 35, from a pulmonary embolism; both on the exact same date but only 15 years apart. <br /><br />Your advice is so valuable to all of us who have experienced this same hole in our hearts. I also was not able to return to work after our son died. I began volunteering, trying different opportunities until finding my fit at a local food bank. I get a good physical workout, and feed my soul at same time. <br /><br />Best regards, <br /><br />Mary<br /><br />
Staff
2017-04-20T17:58:00Z
My Top Priority
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Top-Priority/704967336376234092.html
2017-04-20T17:57:00Z
2017-04-20T17:57:00Z
<br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />You helped me with a dilemma over 10 years ago and your advice is still helping me today. I gain so much confidence in myself as I continue to listen to you and read your books. <br /><br />I am a SAHM with 4 children. My husband and I have been married for over 10 years. I'm only 30, but make my role as wife and mother the top priority. My husband a real man. He provides, protects, loves and adores his family. <br /><br />Because of you, I put my husband and children first. Thank you for teaching me the importance of that! I'm forever grateful. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Karen<br />
Staff
2017-04-20T17:57:00Z
Dear Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dear-Dad/944175333907272245.html
2017-04-19T17:58:00Z
2017-04-19T17:58:00Z
<br />A father passed by his son's room and was astonished to see the bed made and room picked up. Then he saw an envelope on the pillow. With the worst premonition he opened the enveloped and read: <br /><br />
<blockquote><em>"Dear Dad, <br /><br />It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and mom. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice; even with all her piercings and tattoos. But it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that we will be very happy. <br /><br />Even though you don't care for her, as she is much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of wood for the whole winter. She wants to have many children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Joan also taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for us and trading it with friends. <br /><br />In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she deserves it! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren. <br /><br />Your son, <br /><br />John <br /><br /><br />PS - Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card, that's in my desk drawer. I love you! <br /><br />Call when it is safe for me to come home."</em></blockquote>
<br />
Staff
2017-04-19T17:58:00Z
Teens and Phones
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teens-and-Phones/-581066658368974455.html
2017-04-19T17:57:00Z
2017-04-19T17:57:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura! <br /><br />I'm in 100% agreement with you regarding technology and cell phones. To my kid's dismay, they don't have cell phones, hand held devices, or any home gaming systems. Sadly, we are the only people I know who have taken this stance. Literally, ALL of their classmates have cell phones. <br /><br />I just listened to a call from February when you were talking to a mom about taking away her kids' cell phones. You kept saying, "<em>Don't you see, she is sick</em>", referring to her daughter's obsession with her phone. I have a couple resources/tools you may want to mention to callers in the future. <br /><br />
<ul>
<li>There are these watches now that are actually phones in which it allows the user to program 3 contacts. There is no internet on the watches, just phone capability. So, when I drop my kids at a sports practice, they can wear the watch to contact me if there is a problem. It's a very minimal additional charge on your cellular plan like $10-$20/month. This may be a good alternative for some of your listeners who are worried about contacting their kids. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Our school showed a documentary film called "<em><a href="http://www.screenagersmovie.com/" target="_blank">Screenagers</a></em>" recently. It's about the negative impact technology has on children. While it's not a perfect film, it does clearly illustrate the destructive nature all of this technology is having on children. Perhaps you want to watch it and it might be a recommendation for callers in the future. Maybe a recommendation of this movie may reinforce your words. </li>
</ul>
<br />Thanks for your hard work! <br /><br />A loyal listener, <br /><br />Cindy<br /> <br /><br />
Staff
2017-04-19T17:57:00Z
'Helping' The Addict
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Helping-The-Addict/-753196093045291611.html
2017-04-18T17:58:00Z
2017-04-18T17:58:00Z
<br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been a recovered alcoholic since 1989 and you have been one of the architects in helping me to practice the principles laid out in the twelve steps. <br /><br />Recently, you have had several calls from people trying to "help" the addict. I really enjoyed the ProAm hour with the woman who finally had to let go. <br /><br />I wanted to pass along to you what an extremely wise woman from AA/Alanon told me: <br /><ol>
<li>The absolutely hardest thing for a loved one to do for their addicted relative is....wait for it.....NOTHING </li>
<br />
<li>When you try to fix someone, you are probably fixing them for their next relationship </li>
<br />
<li>Where there is active addiction, very little love can take place. </li>
</ol><br />Thank you again for your wisdom and giving spirit. <br /><br />Ben<br /><br />
Staff
2017-04-18T17:58:00Z
Raising Your Kids To Succeed In The REAL World
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-Your-Kids-To-Succeed-In-The-REAL-World/597524184236495420.html
2017-04-18T17:57:00Z
2017-04-18T17:57:00Z
<br />The point that parents miss a lot, is that they need to raise their kids to succeed in the REAL world.<br /><br />
<ul>
<li>When kids forget their homework on the kitchen table, let them live with the consequences. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>If they break a rule, let them bear the penalty. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>When kids want to have more freedom, teach them what the true cost of it is. </li>
</ul>
<br />An "F" on a project that was late or incomplete can be devastating to a teenager, and you help them learn from it, profit by it, and cope. It is a lot easier than being fired at 25 for missing a deadline. <br /><br />We need to be more hands-on in what life requires of us, so our kids are successful adults. When they are in college, make sure that they are not failing and hiding it from you till it is too late. <br /><br />Teach them about real life.<br />
Staff
2017-04-18T17:57:00Z
Compliment and Hug
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Compliment-and-Hug/-906442967168489623.html
2017-04-17T17:58:00Z
2017-04-17T17:58:00Z
<br />I caught a part of your show today while driving, the caller was feeling overwhelmed by her son. She felt as though her mean mom was inside her. She said that she didn't have a good roll model growing up and it was showing up in her parenting.<br /> <br />I cried when you told her to visualize her mom. I visualized my own mother, getting closer and closer and trying to get inside her. She was instructed to push her back, back, back. And the fact she could do that proved that her mom is not inside her. I found this so helpful and comforting. <br /><br />I do NOT want to parent like my mother. The best part was when you told her to handle situations with her son with a hug and a compliment. A hug and a compliment. I love this so much and I plan to use this every chance I get with my daughter. So simple. <br /><br />Please accept my enormous gratitude for not only this, but for all the wisdom I have gained over the decades is your show. <br /><br />Much love,<br /><br />Alice
Staff
2017-04-17T17:58:00Z
Is It Love or Infatuation?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Is-It-Love-or-Infatuation/-393617809316161357.html
2017-04-17T17:58:00Z
2017-04-17T17:58:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I love you and your show. When I hear younger ones, late teens early twenties, call about a recent break up or relationship I think of this whiteboard animation video. <br /><br />I wanted to share it with you and see what you think. I try to show as many younger acquaintances as I can who are thinking about dating. Thank you so much for your show and dedication to the protection of children. <br /><br />Love, <br /><br />Dave<br /><br /> <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/v71zMf1e4F8" frameborder="0"></iframe>
Staff
2017-04-17T17:58:00Z
Learning By Negative Example
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-By-Negative-Example/869640795391024138.html
2017-04-06T17:58:00Z
2017-04-06T17:58:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Strangely, I think my parents taught me compassion by being the opposite example. I write you this because I wish people could see how we can turn adversity into something positive.<br /><br /> My parents fought viciously every day, never showed affection toward each other. 'Never' is not an exaggeration. My mother would often scream at me, she was very impatient and always angry. I think I learned to have compassion for others because of how much I suffered in that environment. I didn't want others to suffer the way I did. <br /><br />I feel so grateful to have this view of my unpleasant childhood because it helps so much for me to let go of anger and resentment. Thank you for all the advice you give to help us handle situations wisely - so that we're creating less chaos in our lives and the lives of others.<br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2017-04-06T17:58:00Z
Common Sense Car Trip
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Common-Sense-Car-Trip/765931837473777615.html
2017-04-06T17:57:00Z
2017-04-06T17:57:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />A quick thank you from a long time listener. Recently my son, a freshman in high school, and I were listening to your show on our return car trip from a quick vacation. This was the first time my son was experiencing your show. After an hour of just listening to callers, and no conversation between the two of us, my son said: "Mom, she is helping people with common sense!" <br /><br />He then thanked me for having a good marriage to his father. The rest of the trip was filled with great conversation between him and me on "<em>common sense</em>" and life issues of course while still listening to your show. Thank you for being you and helping me keep common sense alive. <br /><br />PS...You now have a 15-year-old boy who is hooked on your show!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2017-04-06T17:57:00Z
In Today's World
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/In-Todays-World/966129693906697311.html
2017-04-05T17:58:00Z
2017-04-05T17:58:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Today you made me laugh when you asked for an explanation as to why callers have already done what you suggested or say they know! I want to give you my explanation on why I think they say this. <br /><br />In today's world, everyone seems to know everything. Parents are raising children that are "<em>so amazing and so smart!</em>" We live in a time where if someone doesn't share your political view, you are called names and made to look like a bad person. Everyone seems to know it all. Dr. Laura, they don't care how many years of schooling, how long you have been helping people, all the years of teaching morals etc..... they know!!! <br /><br />Sometimes I yell at my phone to the callers. Yeah, you didn't try that, you're not willing to take advice. If you are so smart and already know, then why call? You may actually hear me yelling all the way from Philadelphia!!!!<br />
Staff
2017-04-05T17:58:00Z
Hidden Figures
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hidden-Figures/-727513744813464175.html
2017-04-05T17:57:00Z
2017-04-05T17:57:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Thank you for touting the lessons of the movie, "<a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4846340/" target="_blank">Hidden Figures</a>". I loved it as much as you did, maybe more! I am a 67-year-old woman who graduated with a degree in Mathematics, in 1972. I thought I was hot shit, being one of only a handful of female math graduates. I thought I was so smart.<br /><br />When I saw Hidden Figures, it put me in my place! I am certainly no Einstein! I was blown away by <a href="http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0546795/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t1" target="_blank">Katherine Johnson</a> and her fellow female 'human computer' colleagues! This is a story for all times. <br /><br />I love your advice, and I also love your movie recommendations. I keep a list! Please keep on doing your good work, including recommending movies. My son lives in Santa Monica, and I visit a couple of times a year. Meeting you "one of these days" is on my bucket list! <br /><br />All the best! And Thanks, again! <br /><br />Verna<br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2017-04-05T17:57:00Z
I Should Have Been The Bigger Person
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Should-Have-Been-The-Bigger-Person/-853686239173634604.html
2017-04-04T17:58:00Z
2017-04-04T17:58:00Z
<br /><br />Many parents DO pass on relationship killing behavior to their kids. A few do it unconsciously, but most are intentional. Most parents either speak poorly of their mate in relationships or treat them poorly. Even little comments can be really damaging to a kid's future relationships. <br /><br />I was an ass to my mother-in-law because that was the behavior I saw from my mother and her mother. Now I deeply regret my behavior. I am not saying mom-in-law did not deserve some of what I dished out. I should have been the bigger person and treated her with respect and kindness from the get-go. I also treated my ex-husband like an infant; he was a mamma's boy. I knew this when I married him. I thought I could fix him. I would bitch about his behavior to everyone. This backfired on me with my son. <br /><br />I have learned a lot from listening to your show for more than 10 years. I only wish I had heard this when I was a kid. Thanks for being the mom/parent some of us never had. I am my husband's hot sexy girlfriend and I am ready to be my grandkids grand mom.<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2017-04-04T17:58:00Z
Message From A Grateful Listener
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Message-From-A-Grateful-Listener/-149802628691555445.html
2017-04-04T17:57:00Z
2017-04-04T17:57:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have a full and busy life with many friends, hobbies, and volunteer activities. I am also my husband's girlfriend! I loved your books, '<a href="/The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a>' and '<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Marriage/dp/0061142824/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1491346153&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Proper+Care+and+Feeding+of+Marriage" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage</a>'. Both of these books are the best books on a happy marriage I have ever read and a big reason why my husband and I are so happy! <br /><br />Last November, I was listening to one of your podcasts when you made an announcement reminding your listeners to get their mammograms. I was due for mine but I was busy traveling and getting ready for the holidays...I postponed my mammogram. Your admission that you had been treated for breast cancer was a real wake up call for me. Thank goodness I heard you! <br /><br />My mammogram showed something. A biopsy was performed that showed I had DCIS Stage 0. I had a lumpectomy, the margins are clear and I am cancer free! Because I listened to you my cancer was caught early and I will not need chemotherapy! I may have some radiation but my cancer is not likely to return. Dr. Laura, I am so grateful to you. <br /><br />Now I am telling all my friends to get their mammograms! <br /><br />A Faithful and Grateful Listener, <br /><br />Deb<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2017-04-04T17:57:00Z
Showing Him I Care
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Showing-Him-I-Care/638824906319060362.html
2017-04-03T17:58:00Z
2017-04-03T17:58:00Z
<br /><br />This is how I make my man feel like a million bucks, every day! <br /><br />
<ul>
<li>I make breakfast - a real breakfast with eggs and toast. He loves it and its better than a drive through window. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>I always send him to work with coffee - again no drive up window for my guy! </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>We kiss good-bye every day. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>I tell him welcome home when he gets home.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>We talk before bed and giggle about this and that. We tell each other sweet dreams or good night. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>We eat together sometimes cook together and I usually wait for him even when he is late. He told me a long time ago he liked that. </li>
</ul>
<br />He appreciates my leftovers and creative thinking. He opens the fridge and sees nothing -- I open it and we have a feast! We are friends and enjoy many of the same things sports, breweries, traveling. <br />
Staff
2017-04-03T17:58:00Z
No Pain, No Gain
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-Pain,-No-Gain/164193148272626513.html
2017-04-03T17:57:00Z
2017-04-03T17:57:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I think people say, "<em>I already did that</em>" if they can justify (in their mind) that they've done even a small part of what you suggested - because they don't want to do what you suggest.<br /><br />They think it's too hard to do or it won't work. So they want you to keep suggesting things until you suggest something that's easy for them to do. <br /><br />I'm a caretaker for my elderly parents and listening to your show saves my sanity daily. Thank you for every word of wisdom you give us. <br /><br /><br />
Staff
2017-04-03T17:57:00Z
Such An Inspiration
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Such-An-Inspiration/516433809853648772.html
2017-03-31T17:58:00Z
2017-03-31T17:58:00Z
<br />I would like to thank you for changing my entire outlook on life! I know I'm the most important person to my children and I'm home with them because of you. I too am now a recovering feminist. I can't thank you enough for shining such a bright light on how best to live your life. <br /><br />My husband and I both listen to you and we always ask each other, "what Dr. Laura would say" if we find ourselves in a tough situation. <br /><br />So, thank you for being such an inspiration and intelligent person!!!!<br />
Staff
2017-03-31T17:58:00Z
Feeling Appreciated and Loved
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Feeling-Appreciated-and-Loved/817234842196234000.html
2017-03-31T17:57:00Z
2017-03-31T17:57:00Z
<br />I've have been married since 1993. You asked us to explain how we make our spouses a priority. Here's how I show him that he comes first.
<ul>
<li>I never forget to tell my husband every day that I love him. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>I always make his favorite meals. It's a pity, he's actually a better cook than I am! </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>I always let him know how much I appreciate his contributions via his employment, his housework, and to the marriage. </li>
</ul>
<br />People need to be told that they are appreciated and loved. They need to know that their loved ones see what they are doing, and not taking them for granted. <br /><br />Truly, <br /><br />Deb<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2017-03-31T17:57:00Z
Giving Up Would Be Easy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Giving-Up-Would-Be-Easy/-405325152622878987.html
2017-03-30T17:58:00Z
2017-03-30T17:58:00Z
<br />Called about a year ago because I was struggling with my career. We had recently moved and I had to give up a good job in a bad economy. I was struggling to find my footing and provide for my family. This was seriously damaging my self-confidence, which in turn, was hurting my relationship with my wife and children. <br /><br />When we talked last year, you told me that my current difficulty was not my fault. Things were bad for everyone and I didn't get to feel like I was the only one having a hard time. We also talked about possible directions I should and should not consider. Things like writing, for example, were unlikely to yield any major returns based on the amount of time they would take. Instead, we talked some about my strengths and how I should proceed. <br /><br />It is now almost a full year later and things have turned around. I am now a manager at a good company, utilizing many of my skills and experience to lead a team doing work that is important to me. I just wanted to get back to you to thank you and encourage others not to give up.That was the thing that helped me most during these difficult months. No matter how hard things were, I must never give up. <br /><br />Giving up would be easy, but wouldn't help anyone except those who would prefer to see me fail. For the sake of my children, my wife, and especially myself. I have held on to hope and come out on top. <br /><br />Thank you very much Dr. Laura! <br />
Staff
2017-03-30T17:58:00Z
Prioritizing Right, Makes Decisions Easier
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Prioritizing-Right,-Makes-Decisions-Easier/-932665929417106037.html
2017-03-30T17:57:00Z
2017-03-30T17:57:00Z
<br />My wife and I have been married for 50 years. When asked how we have made it work for so long, we both said at the same time: "<em>I always put her/him first</em>". Then we laughed. <br /><br />Did anyone say that was easy? No!! But when I stop to think about how this will affect her, it changes my perspective. Usually, this makes a decision much easier and more pleasant. It seems to make you feel better when your priority is her and after all, she is the love of my life and the center of my life! You have said it best "<em>kindness and gratitude</em>" <br /><br />I am really glad that I found you on XM a couple years ago. I have been listening as often as I can. I try to arrange lunch just so that I can listen to your open as often as possible. <br />Thank you for what you are doing to help people and especially their children!! We are forming and influencing the next generation and so desperately needs your perspective and common sense. Which is not common at all. <br /><br />You are a breath of fresh air!<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2017-03-30T17:57:00Z
Prioritizing The Way I Should Have Been
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Prioritizing-The-Way-I-Should-Have-Been/719149471143446171.html
2017-03-29T17:58:00Z
2017-03-29T17:58:00Z
Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Because of you, I am making my husband my priority. I read "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>", and I learned a lot. I see how my husband 'lights up' when I give him a sincere, heartfelt compliment. <br /><br />My best friend lost her husband to cancer, 15 months ago. Now every night as I lay in bed next to my dear husband, I am so grateful for him. I say a little prayer for him, thanking God for the great gift He has given me. Dr. Laura, because of your advice I was a stay at home mom. Another thing my husband supported. Now my oldest daughter is engaged to be married. She is a physical therapist and says she wants to be a stay at home mom too! <br /><br />Keep doing what you are doing. You are changing generations. <br /><br />God bless you, <br /><br />Kate
Staff
2017-03-29T17:58:00Z
Shopping With Toddlers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Shopping-With-Toddlers/721291044178976456.html
2017-03-29T17:57:00Z
2017-03-29T17:57:00Z
<br />
<p>Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just got home from shopping and I ripped a mom apart. I came upon her little girl playing in the aisle with fairy garden accessories, totally alone. She was talking to me about fairies. I must have talked to her at least 5 minutes and still no mom. The girl finally wanted to show mommy something and got up to run and find her. <br /><br />Her mom was at least half a store away in some other aisle with a cart and another child. I said, "You left your toddler down in that aisle for a long time alone!" She replied, "thank you." I looked at her and said, "You are a bad parent!" She thanked me again and walked away. I could have taken that little girl and been gone.<br /><br />I am so shocked today that someone would use a department store as a playground while they shop. I am still so mad I can feel my blood pressure rising but I know I would have never said anything so direct unless I had been a long time or short listener. Keep up the good work! <br /><br />Thanks,<br /><br />Diane<br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-03-29T17:57:00Z
You're Just What I Need
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Youre-Just-What-I-Need/944906735491152361.html
2017-03-28T17:58:00Z
2017-03-28T17:58:00Z
<br />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just wanted to stop for a moment and say, "Hey." <br /><br />I listened to you today and have missed your voice. I know you're getting through some stuff; demonstrating your endurance--so to speak. I wanted to say I am thinking of you and grateful you continue to be a role model for me. You're a voice of reason on the radio and in my head, a light in the dark, and often just the nag I need. I really appreciate you. <br /><br />You are a trooper and I for one am here for you just as you are for me and all the rest of us. Hang tight. <br /><br />Hugs from Alex<br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-03-28T17:58:00Z
Alvin The Cat And His Human Parents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Alvin-The-Cat-And-His-Human-Parents/-580805266340932497.html
2017-03-28T17:57:00Z
2017-03-28T17:57:00Z
<br />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />A very big thank you for your time today. You have greatly helped me in the past and today was another winning conversation. I knew I was calling the right person. Telling me the that it was TIME to let go was what I needed to hear. <br /><br />After I spoke to you, I postponed the appointment with the vet till the next day. So Alvin and I can spent the day together. My husband will be with me and the last person Alvin will see is me before he goes. I will do what is right for Alvin. I can see it in his eyes. He has been my faithful companion for 17 years. I chose him as a baby and I raised him well. <br /><br />I have two other cats at home that are rescue cats which are very loving but nothing will ever be like my Alvin. Thanks against for being there for me and all the listeners that appreciate you sooooo much, as I do. <br /><br />Hugs, <br /><br />Carole <br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-03-28T17:57:00Z
In Case Of Emergency
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/In-Case-Of-Emergency/926644252897657811.html
2017-03-27T17:58:00Z
2017-03-27T17:58:00Z
<br />
<p>Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I loved hearing your comments regarding parents and passwords. Sometimes I think we forget how important it is to keep all this information handy, just in case of an emergency. I did this years ago for my now 29-year-old son and 24-year-old daughter. <br /><br />My adult children know how to access our lockbox. Everything they need to know is typed AND printed on a pink piece of paper. I typed up all of my usernames, passwords, financial planner information, different account information, bank names...everything is all typed up for them and I update it as needed. <br /><br />Thank you for reminding parents how important this is for their children to have. If something happened to me, they would have no clue how to access this important information. I love your show. <br /><br />Thank you for everything that you do!<br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-03-27T17:58:00Z
Healthy Happy Living
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Healthy-Happy-Living/290800785900481709.html
2017-03-27T17:57:00Z
2017-03-27T17:57:00Z
<br /><span>I would like to thank you for changing my entire outlook on life! I know I'm the most important person to my children and I'm home with them because of you. I too am now a recovering feminist. <br /><br />I can't thank you enough for shining such a bright light on how best to live your life. My husband and I both listen to you and we always ask each other, "<em>what Dr. Laura would say</em>". <br /><br />So, thank you for being such an inspiration and intelligent person!!!!</span><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-03-27T17:57:00Z
Glad To Have Dr. Laura In My Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Glad-To-Have-Dr.-Laura-In-My-Life/507373360370385270.html
2017-03-24T17:58:00Z
2017-03-24T17:58:00Z
<br />Hi Dr Laura,<br /><br />I was doing my daily walk in the mall and saw a nice red Bra and panty set in the display window. It gave me a crazy idea. Since my husband and I really did not want to go out for dinner, I planned on surprising him. <br /><br />I wore the cute red panties and bra n the morning while I cooked his breakfast and lunch for work. Mind you, my body is not what it used to be, but I listened to you. I remembered that guys usually don't care. They just want to see skin. Well...he had the biggest smile when he saw me in the kitchen. He almost stayed home. Wink, wink. He continued to text me during the day to tell me he was thinking of me wearing my little outfit. <br /><br />You're so right on about a lot of things Dr. Laura, I am glad I have you in my life.<br /><br />Sarah<br /><br /><br /><br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-03-24T17:58:00Z
A Fortunate Wife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Fortunate-Wife/-320522773335884657.html
2017-03-24T17:57:00Z
2017-03-24T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I am most appreciative of my kind, generous and giving husband. We have been married for 41 years. I look to him for advice and I respect all of his suggestions.<br /><br />My husband is the most spectacular human I have ever know. He makes me feel beautiful every day of my life. He constantly looks to protect me, and I feel his love always. How did I become so fortunate to have him as my mate? We love doing a myriad of things together. He's a jazz musicianship too!<br /><br />My heart overflows with love for him. I am a fortunate wife.</p>
Staff
2017-03-24T17:57:00Z
Little Minds Have Big Ears
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Little-Minds-Have-Big-Ears/-407572820392749819.html
2017-03-23T17:58:00Z
2017-03-23T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was just reading the blog about conversations you need to have with your spouse, and not in front of the kids. My mind went back to a couple weeks ago. <br /><br />My husband, three kids and I were traveling home from church when my husband and I were talking about how we were going to our pay taxes. We are self-employed and it's that time of year again. Well, the next morning my seven-year-old boy, who has been saving his money for months for a dirt bike, came to me and asked how much the taxes were. I looked at him trying to grasp what he was asking, and then I remembered the conversation of the night before. I told him it was a lot, but God would provide the work for daddy to be able to pay. He said he wanted to know how much it was so he could pay it for us. <br /><br />I looked at this very giving boy I get to call my son. I realized that even when you don't think they are listening, they are. Now when a subject comes up that may weigh heavy on their young minds, I sweetly tell my husband we can talk about it later. I listen to your podcasts almost every day. And sometimes I find myself in a situation and I ask myself, "<em>what would Dr. Laura do/say.</em>" Thank you for all you do. Thanks to you, I do the right things. <br /><br />Allie</p>
Staff
2017-03-23T17:58:00Z
From A Straight Shooter
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/From-A-Straight-Shooter/-985445383920165668.html
2017-03-22T17:58:00Z
2017-03-22T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dearest Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My parents were very bad role models. When it was time for me to get married I thanked them for showing me everything not to do, to have a good marriage. You can learn from a bad example as well as a good one. The key to a good marriage that endures isn't that bad stuff doesn't happen. It's how the two people handle it when it does and it will. <br /><br />We are human beings and are far from perfect. My wife and I have been married for 38 years. Every day I leave for work and it's the highlight of my day to come home to my wife and it's the same for her. This is not luck, this is two people that respect, admire and love each enough to have honest communication with each other no matter how uncomfortable it is; before it turns into world war three. <br /><br />Live long and prosper---go forth, and have a nice day! <br /><br />With utmost respect, <br /><br /><em>"A Straight-Shooter"</em><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-03-22T17:58:00Z
I Told You So
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Told-You-So/880525214400905034.html
2017-03-22T17:57:00Z
2017-03-22T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I think the biggest asset my husband and I have is our difference of history. We grew up in opposite ways and made opposite choices. Each of us has areas of strength and weakness that we are constantly revisiting during financial talks. <br /><br />He usually says, "<em>do what you think is right, babe</em>" and that ends the discussion because he trusts my financial decisions. There have been a few times where we just do not agree. After several days, and advice from trusted sources, it always has to come down to a compromise.<br /><br />The thing that has kept our relationship strong is we don't say/or express in any way the famous "<em>I told you so</em>". This helps us tackle the consequences as a team and not as enemies.<br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2017-03-22T17:57:00Z
Dealing With Money, As A Team
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dealing-With-Money,-As-A-Team/-973788887449830224.html
2017-03-21T17:58:00Z
2017-03-21T17:58:00Z
<p><br />My husband and I married young. We were 22 and 20 back then, now have 3 sons. We went through tight times financially because I was a stay at home mom, or worked at their schools very part-time. <br /><br />After 30 years of marriage, I inherited $350,000 from my parent's estate. Financial counselors told me to keep the money in MY name. When we married we had no money. All money he earned was OUR money. My husband did without MANY things so I and our sons had a safe car, home, and were cared for completely. <br /><br />My money was OUR money. If you start out doubting your life partner, you should wait to marry. Talk all these things out, and see if you really are able to handle the curve-balls that life throws at you.</p>
Staff
2017-03-21T17:58:00Z
Turning My Back On The Past
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Turning-My-Back-On-The-Past/-946184823048289002.html
2017-03-21T17:57:00Z
2017-03-21T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura: <br /><br />I heard you say on the air that you like to hear updates from past callers, so I thought I'd share mine with you. I wanted to take the opportunity to say THANK YOU. I called you for help discerning how much contact to have with my father. He abusive to me and has never admitted any wrongdoing, much less apologized. <br /><br />During our call you pointed out that my mother had sat by and permitted the abuse. She was also at fault for doing nothing about it. I suddenly realized I've been giving her a pass all these years. I hung up feeling deflated. I wanted to tell you that I needed that push. I need the push to let go of my fantasies and face reality. As unpleasant as that was, I had to do it. I am taking the next step and put into practice your advice; to focus on the amazing blessings I DO have rather than on what's missing or what I didn't get.<br /><br />Thank you for helping me to turn my back on the darkness of the past. Now I can look forward so I could count my blessings and embrace with gratitude the "moms" and "dads" who are already in my life. Thank you. And God bless you and the work you do. </p>
Staff
2017-03-21T17:57:00Z
Women Have the Power
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Women-Have-the-Power/-822237610620809315.html
2017-03-20T17:55:00Z
2017-03-20T17:55:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura:<br /> <br />Men can't be men today because they don't have the power, women have the power.</p>
<p>Men live by the golden rule "If she is happy, we are happy". It is no longer what's in the best interest of the man; it's what is in the best interest of the woman. A man's job is to make his wife happy, not the other way around. Why? Quite simple. All one has to do is look at the divorce courts. Get out of line; don't make spouse happy, and she files for a divorce. Man loses children, house, half of his income, and pays for spouse's attorney. He loses his life - game over. So the wife, once the children are born, has all the power based on our messed up and irresponsible divorce court system. Men must make their wives happy, or else there will be major consequences for the man, especially if the woman stays home with the children. So men can't be men because they end up with no life - they put up with a lot of crap to just stay out of trouble.<br /> <br />Barry</p>
Staff
2017-03-20T17:55:00Z
Take the Reigns of Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Take-the-Reigns-of-Life/251214668361904073.html
2017-03-20T17:39:00Z
2017-03-20T17:39:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have been an avid listener of your show since I was a graduate student in a counseling program working as a receptionist in 1999 at a counseling office. While doing what seemed like menial work at the time, it allowed me to be able to listen to your radio show which was a true joy.</p>
<p>At first I found your style with callers to be a bit harsh but now as a therapist in my own practice working with couples I see how your "get real" approach is more effective and impactful. Too often we as providers of service let our patients get off too easy. We need to demonstrate some real "tough love" with people to show they are the TRUE agents of change.</p>
<p>I greatly appreciate your efforts as a therapist, mother, wife and advocate of hard work. Only when we take the reigns of our lives can we make things better. No more blaming others or being victims in life.</p>
<p>With sincere gratitude,</p>
<p>Cathryn</p>
Staff
2017-03-20T17:39:00Z
A Vulnerable Moment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Vulnerable-Moment/-857649054572146276.html
2017-03-17T17:58:00Z
2017-03-17T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Your blog today on "<a href="https://www.drlaura.com/b/How-Yelling-Affects-Kids/459461082349071724.html" target="_blank">How Yelling Affects Kids</a>" was so profoundly vulnerable and touching. You told us about a very personal and intimate moment with your son, how you learned from it and apologized for it. Wow!!! It struck me right in the heart and almost brought tears to my eyes. <br /><br />My Dad used to yell at me and my sisters. He did this through our entire lives. He made it clear to us that children were a nuisance. Girls in particular, were downright useless to him. Luckily, I left home at 22 and have been an independent and strong woman ever since. I have very high self-esteem after a LOT of therapy and inner work. <br /><br />Now I'm 45 and successful. Just wanted you to know how much I appreciate you and your vulnerability. Your willingness to tell us about those moments makes us love and endears you. <br /><br />xoxo<br /><br /><br /><br />What makes you appreciate Dr. Laura? Tell us. Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-03-17T17:58:00Z
Dementia & Brain Damage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dementia--Brain-Damage/122525860753600977.html
2017-03-17T17:57:00Z
2017-03-17T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />This is in reference to a call you had from a woman who suffered severe brain damage from an auto accident. As she was describing her husband's behavior, I could identify with some of it. <br /><br />My wife of 53 years is in the early stages of dementia. I can understand the impatience the caller described in her husband. It is an adjustment that a spouse has to make, which does not come easy. Patience is the one thing I have to work hard on. It's my weak spot. The dementia turns her into a different person. It takes knowledge and understanding to begin to adjust. <br /><br />It sounded like her husband was having difficulty handling it positively. If she divorces him and gets married again, it will be difficult for a new husband to handle too. Dementia affects the way a person communicates, the things they remember and decisions they make. This is one of the more difficult aspects of dementia.<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever had to look after a loved one while they were ill? How did you handle the stress? Share your tips and Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-03-17T17:57:00Z
I Thought I Could Do It All
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Thought-I-Could-Do-It-All/898990671090193599.html
2017-03-16T17:58:00Z
2017-03-16T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just wanted to take a few minutes to let you know how you've helped me. I have worked very hard to get where I am. I went to school many years and did without the finer things so that I could finish. I am also very proud of what I do for a living.<br /><br />I got married after I graduated. After 4 years of marriage, we decided to have a child. This is about the time I started listening to you. I was highly offended about the working mom thing and told myself you were ridiculous. At the time, I felt like I could go to every school function or party and when I had to stay the night at the hospital, that was good father/daughter time.<br /><br />Working 70hrs a week and having so many people depend on you really got to me. I was miserable, unhappy, and so tired! One day on your show, you said something about if you didn't like where you were in life, change it! So simple. <br /><br />Fast forward, I found a hospital close that had the hours I wanted. I negotiated a great contract and gave my notice. I am my daughter's mom again and I'm so in love with my husband. I am sweet, happy, and cook supper every night. I can honestly say, I've never been happier! Thank you so much!<br /><br /><br /><br />How have you changed your life to better your family? Tell us. Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-03-16T17:58:00Z
You Taught Me How To Stick Up For Myself
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Taught-Me-How-To-Stick-Up-For-Myself/-989986913574977933.html
2017-03-16T17:57:00Z
2017-03-16T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />You once gave me insights on how to stop allowing my college age daughter from treating me badly. I am now using that helpful information in dealing with other toxic relationships in my life. <br /><br />Most recently, a "<em>friend</em>" who was critical of me on a regular basis started getting me to respond to sharp and unwarranted remarks. I am now "<em>too busy</em>" to get together, talk on the phone, or go walking in the park. When she would embarrass me in a group and I would gently ask her about it, she would say "<em>Oh, I had a bad day today</em>". <br /><br />I grew tired of making allowances for her unkind remarks and pulled away from the friendship. It is surprising how much better I feel, now that I am not wary of her next condescending remark!<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever had to break a toxic relationship? What happened? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-03-16T17:57:00Z
Parenting As A Loving Team
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parenting-As-A-Loving-Team/754654555223047315.html
2017-03-15T17:58:00Z
2017-03-15T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I remember my kids used to worry. They would ask us when they were little if we would be getting a divorce. Most of their other friends in school had parents who were divorcing and this scared them. I PROMISED our son and daughter that would never happen! Mommy and Daddy love each other VERY much and we're in it for the long haul. <br /><br />My little son and daughter are now 17 and 14, and mom and dad are still happily married at 20 years. We've had ups & downs, difficult moments and situations at times, but we always stuck by each other and parented our children as a loving team. <br /><br />I have a good man in my partner and he has the same in me. Best of all...we both realize it.<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you calm your child's fear of divorce? Tell us. Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-03-15T17:58:00Z
Awareness Must Be Taught
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Awareness-Must-Be-Taught/-84510585522461114.html
2017-03-15T17:57:00Z
2017-03-15T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Today I took the time and energy (being chronically ill, that is a huge deal) to make it to my 7-year-old granddaughter's soccer game. As soon as she saw me setting up my chair on the sidelines, she raced over to give me a huge hug and kiss and said, "<em>Thank you for coming, Grandma! I'm so happy you're here!</em>"<br /><br />I commend my daughter-in-law and son for teaching their daughter gratitude and awareness of others, for it does not just get passed on via the bloodstream but must be taught.<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you teach your children gratitude? Tell us. Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-03-15T17:57:00Z
Little Minds Have Big Ears
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Little-Minds-Have-Big-Ears/659713853958201843.html
2017-03-14T17:58:00Z
2017-03-14T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I recently found out that my adult daughter felt she was a burden growing up. I had no idea. Looking back though, I was easily frustrated when she was young. I became a better parent as I grew. It had nothing to do with her, but as a child she had no way of understanding that. Today we have a very good relationship although I'm sure it has damaged her self esteem. <br /><br />As a parent I have regrets. However, there is nothing I can do to change the past. All I can do now is continue to be there for her. Being a parent isn't easy, but having a child and doing your best is all we can do. <br /><br />Just remember that they are <strong>always</strong> watching so be careful of your words and how you express them.<br /><br /><br /></p>
<p>How do you express yourself around your child?Are you a positive example? How? Tell us. Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-03-14T17:58:00Z
Anxiety Tips
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Anxiety-Tips/-809273093882934340.html
2017-03-14T17:57:00Z
2017-03-14T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Anxiety seems so common now. I hardly know a person who doesn't have to deal with it to some degree. I've found that getting a hold of IT before it takes hold of you is my best defense. <br /><br />Here are just a few things I do to get through my anxiety:</p>
<ul style="list-style-type: circle;">
<li>I make an effort to Recognizing it is coming on</li>
<br />
<li>Once I am aware, I take steps immediately to face it </li>
<br />
<li>I calm my inner storm with any of the following
<ul>
<li>
<ul>
<li>
<ul>
<li>
<ul>
<li>
<ul>
<li>deep breathing</li>
<li>meditation</li>
<li>quiet or alone time </li>
<li>good book </li>
<li>music!</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
</ul>
<p><br />I've found my anxiety often hits after an event or situation. It is manageable though! Just wanted to share my tips. <br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a anxiety? Hope do you cope with a bad day? Tell us. Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-03-14T17:57:00Z
A Reminder Of What Truly Matters
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Reminder-Of-What-Truly-Matters/353113812520521559.html
2017-03-13T17:58:00Z
2017-03-13T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was listening to a replay today in my car when you were discussing playtime with your son. More specifically, you mentioned an example of making jello. You told us how you should get your hands in the jello and have fun with your child. I had to giggle when I heard this. My son is now 8. Getting him to sit still long enough to play like that would take an act of Congress. He's now way too busy riding bikes in the neighborhood with his posse of boys. <br /><br />When I got home that day, my husband and son requested a chocolate pie for dessert. I'm making the dough for the pie crust. My son walks into the kitchen and takes an interest in the leftover dough I put to the side. He takes it to the table on a plastic plate, along with some of my kitchen tools. He doesn't make a peep for a solid hour as I cook and we both hang out in the kitchen. He finally tells me to close my eyes so he can present his artwork. Below is the picture of the sculpture he made. He's made a model of us sitting on the couch with big smiles on our faces. <br /><br />I appreciate you shining a spotlight on what truly matters in this life. Thank you for what you do. <br /><br />Carrie<br /><br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/gwnaxnrrebrd.JPG" alt="" /><br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
<p>Do you have a cute story about your child that you want to share? Tell us. Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-03-13T17:58:00Z
Because I Love You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Because-I-Love-You/358820555184971476.html
2017-03-13T17:57:00Z
2017-03-13T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />For as long as you live, I will always be your parent first and your friend second. I will drive you insane. I will be your worst nightmare and hunt you down like a bloodhound when I have to, because I love you. <br /><br />When you understand that, I will know you have become a responsible adult. You will never find anyone else in your life that loves, prays, cares and worries about you more than I do. If you don't mutter under your breath "<em>I hate you</em>", at least once in your life, I am not doing my job properly...<br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
<p>What rules do you put in place for your child's safety? Tell us. Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-03-13T17:57:00Z
An Expensive and Painful Lesson
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/An-Expensive-and-Painful-Lesson/785764888714213104.html
2017-03-10T18:58:00Z
2017-03-10T18:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was listening to <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/programhighlights?date=20170308" target="_blank">the show from March 8th</a>, where a lady called in for advice on what to tell her in-laws about her breast augmentation surgery. Your advice was spot on. <br /><br />When I was 42, I had the same surgery. My husband always said he loved me the way I was and the surgery was not necessary. After three children, I thought otherwise. I went for my first and only mammogram. <br /><br />The technician expressed the same concerns you told the caller. She explained only certain mammogram machines can be used be of the implants. I decided that no one was going to talk me out of the surgery. Fast forward- last year at 47 I had the implants removed. It was an expensive and painful lesson. I may have had a great new body, but with that came a constant pain in my breasts, unexplained dizziness, and back pain. They made it harder to run and work out. I became myself again after having them removed, and feel so much better. <br /><br />My advice to anyone thinking about this procedure would be exactly the advice you gave. Do your research on implants gone wrong. Look at pictures- not just the great before and after, but of botched surgeries. Think about how hard it will be to detect cancer. Also, Remember that they are not permanent and you will have to have them redone after so many years. <br /><br /><br /></p>
<p>What do you think of breast augmentation? Tell us. Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-03-10T18:58:00Z
'Dr. Laura'd'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dr.-Laurad/-698200555769957017.html
2017-03-10T18:57:00Z
2017-03-10T18:57:00Z
<p><br />I wanted to let you know how valuable your program is!! I, like many listeners, listened with my mom when I was a child. I Rolled my eyes occasionally at you as a teen, but now, as a mom of 5 have found you again and love listening!! <br /><br />I've realized a fun thing, when I first started listening again. I loved waiting to hear what you would say and trying to guess. But now, after several years - I feel like I have been Dr. Laura'd." Sometimes I roll my eyes at the person that feels their situation is somehow different or special. But, for those of us who have been "Dr. Laura'd", we realize that standards and values apply....regardless!!<br /><br />I feel that I have grown as a person; I've become a better person, because of you! Thank you, thank you, and thank you for never tiring of telling the same values over and over....it does eventually sink in....I'm proof!!<br /><br /><br /></p>
<p>What do you do to protect your values? Tell us. Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-03-10T18:57:00Z
Keeping Fit with Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-Fit-with-Dr.-Laura/-330380971973770468.html
2017-03-09T18:58:00Z
2017-03-09T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I love your advice and have followed you for about 15 years. I have now been VERY happily married for 12 years and I know that is partly because of listening to you and taking the advice you provide every day. I am an attorney, my husband is an MBA Engineer from USC. <br /><br />Anyway, I want you to know I love the information you provide regarding fitness. It is hard with two dogs, two kids and a part-time career (the part-time aspect is also partly due to your influence) to keep fit when I would rather spend my free time with my kids. I LOVE the push-up suggestions. I am fit and just did 10, no problem. I will do another 10 before I go to bed. <br /><br />Keep going Dr. Laura. I have Sirius so I can listen to you!!<br /><br />Denise</p>
<p>What do you do to keep fit? Tell us. Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-03-09T18:58:00Z
Validation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Validation/26771483563034499.html
2017-03-09T18:57:00Z
2017-03-09T18:57:00Z
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>My children are now 25 and 23. When they were little, my daughter would comment as we passed day care centers that she wanted to go to day care. I would explain how that meant me taking her there early in the morning and picking her up right before bedtime. She still wanted to go because she saw the children playing. <br /><br />Now at 23, she thanks me constantly for being at home with her as she sees how the children she knew who went to day care now perceive life. It was worth every sacrifice we made for me to stay home to now get validation of our decision. Everyone can do it if you really want to. Trust me, I now work at an elementary school and we can easily tell which children go to day care.</p>
<p>Susan</p>
<p><br /><br /><br />What are your kids appreciative for? Tell us your thoughts. Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-03-09T18:57:00Z
Small Children and a Second Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Small-Children-and-a-Second-Marriage/69464492671841444.html
2017-03-08T18:58:00Z
2017-03-08T18:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi Doctor Laura, <br /><br />My older brother and I were taken by our father at a young age and raised overseas for approximately 20 years. Our father constantly had live-in girlfriends until he finally married a woman and had twin boys. <br /><br />I never felt loved or cared about during those years. My brother and I constantly felt neglected. I personally remember crying and telling my brother that dad didn't care about us as much as he cared about his girlfriends or their kids. I felt as if our dad always tried to impress the other children. We didn't count or even exist. <br /><br />I am living proof that kids are really damaged when families get remarried and have more children or bring other children into the family. I never respected any of the women. I didn't respect my father.<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you think that getting remarried damages minor children? Tell us your thoughts. Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-03-08T18:58:00Z
Making Me Think
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Me-Think/723930883000500046.html
2017-03-08T18:57:00Z
2017-03-08T18:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been a listener for 15 years and for most of that time I have been listening to the podcast. I listen while I am driving or walking, whenever I have time. One of the best things about the podcast is that every time you say something significant I can hit the pause button. That allows me to really take the time to process what you have said. I will often leave you off for 5 minutes or more debating with myself about the point you made.<br /><br />This morning was an excellent example. As I was driving to work, I was listening to one of your show openings and you asked the question something like: "<em>Am I finding it hard to be genuinely happy for someone else's accomplishments instead of being jealous?</em>" That was one of those moments where I switched you off and had to think about it for a few minutes. I have obviously been listening to you for too long because after debating with myself for a few minutes, I reached the conclusion that I am genuinely happy for people when they have earned their accomplishments. Sure enough, as soon as I switched you back on and let you finish your thought, you said almost exactly the same thing! <br /><br />Thanks so much for always helping me think these things through and reach a logical conclusion! <br /><br /><br /><br />Has Dr. Laura ever said something that made you think? What was it? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-03-08T18:57:00Z
I Have My Family Back
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Have-My-Family-Back/331144855211516004.html
2017-03-07T18:58:00Z
2017-03-07T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Dearest Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I spoke with you last July about my son being addicted to heroin. Your advice to let him go was the hardest decision of my life. I cried a lot! But I blocked his number; I learned how to block his texts. He is using other numbers to call so I don't pick up unless caller ID gives a name. <br /><br />Your advice saved my marriage and relationship with my girls. I apologized to my girls and my husband. I still cry, but it's less often and I have forgiven myself. Thank you for giving me my family back! <br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever had to give your kid tough love? What happened? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-03-07T18:58:00Z
Cutting the Crap
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cutting-the-Crap/-285989035416174781.html
2017-03-07T18:57:00Z
2017-03-07T18:57:00Z
<p><br />Thank you for once again cutting the crap! As an overweight 50 year old, I have been told over the years that I may be an emotional eater. I maintain the weight to protect myself from social interaction and members of the opposite sex.<br /><br />You hit the nail on the head. It is hard to lose weight. It requires commitment. I will have to give up things that I like. Thank you for saying things clearly. <br /><br />YOU ARE RIGHT. <br /><br /><br /><br />When was the last time you were honest with yourself about something difficult? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-03-07T18:57:00Z
Dealing With Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dealing-With-Life/-288119851006120253.html
2017-03-06T18:58:00Z
2017-03-06T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Since becoming sober, I live "one day at a time" now. I thank my higher power for all the blessings I have been given. Keeping busy with my Cartridge business has helped me too. Meeting people and going to <a href="http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/" target="_blank">Al-Anon</a> meetings has been a major blessing! <br /><br />I lost my daughter to cancer last June, she was 53 years old. She left 4 children and 6 great grandchildren. I do get sad but dwelling on that isn't helpful. I went for grief counseling for a while. My counselor was extremely good! She listened to everything and would offer ideas when needed. <br /><br />Listening to your show is always a blessing. You give excellent advice that I could have used when I was growing up. Thank you so much for all your insight! <br /><br /><br /><br />How do you keep going when you are having a hard time? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-03-06T18:58:00Z
My Alpha Male
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Alpha-Male/481502934186360729.html
2017-03-06T18:57:00Z
2017-03-06T18:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />I am married to an Alpha male. He has raised his daughter, her sister, my daughter, and my son. Yes, he knocked fatherhood out of the park!! T<br /><br />He is teaching them all how to be functioning respectful adults. He has loved me whole heartedly and never puts himself in a questionable situation. Nobody will ever disrespect any of his family. <br /><br />Thank you for everything you have taught us and given of yourself to help us make our family the best it can be. Yes, I am my husband's girlfriend!</p>
<br /><br />Do you have an alpha male in your life? Tell us about him. Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-03-06T18:57:00Z
Facing The Pain
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Facing-The-Pain/-754693642991255588.html
2017-03-03T18:58:00Z
2017-03-03T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I once lost a job. It forced me to be on my own; even thinking I was going to lose my apartment or car. Through the pain of being let go, I had to do the opposite of what I felt. You have to fight. Gather your strength and fight. <br /><br />After you have cried and wailed to no one for a few hours, you have to breathe, calm down and get strong. There is nobody else to turn to. You have to look at everything you ever did to be successful before. Remember it got you your last job. You have to keep clear headed. No self-pity, no running from reality. No drink or pills. You cannot be strong if you abuse your brain with false happiness and unnatural emotions. Face up to the pain. Don't displace the pain, or it will flood back twice as strong. <br /><br />Make a plan of action. Present yourself better, stronger and faster. Within a couple of weeks, new doors will open. This happened to me many years ago. It was a very memorable low point and this is what it taught me.<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever had a bad low point in your life? How did you handle it? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-03-03T18:58:00Z
An Inspiration To Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/An-Inspiration-To-Me/231426240917213897.html
2017-03-03T18:57:00Z
2017-03-03T18:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I absolutely enjoyed the conversation and <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/programhighlights?date=20170224" target="_blank">calls with Joshua</a>. What a great inspirational man he is! <br /><br />I run a fitness group and shared his insight on my morning post to the group. LOVE that you are bringing such interesting and fascinating people to your show for the Pro-Am hour! <br /><br />It is fantastic...keep it up!! I never get tired of learning and evolving with all the sage advice. <br /><br />xo ~Robin~<br /><br /><br /><br />What did you learn from Joshua? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-03-03T18:57:00Z
12 Tips From A Lucky Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/12-Tips-From-A-Lucky-Husband/984066919989596361.html
2017-03-02T18:58:00Z
2017-03-02T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Dearest Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Here are some honest replies from a real man who is lucky to have a beautiful and smart woman. I'm 48, been married for 13 years, and we have an 11-year-old son. <br /><br /></p>
<ol>
<li>S<strong>eriously ask yourself every morning:</strong>, "What will I do today to make her appreciate marrying ME?" </li>
<br />
<li><strong>Housekeeping and tidying up.</strong> I've almost always had housekeepers since I finished grad school. If you can afford one, hire one. She said the other day how much she appreciates having a housekeeper, and I'm certain this has something to do with the random naughty surprises that I receive.</li>
<br />
<li><strong>Clean up and help around the house. </strong>Our agreement for the longest time is that she cooks and I clean up. Works for me. On most mornings since I'm up earlier, I'll start a pot of coffee, empty the dishwater, tidy up the kitchen and any other areas that have things lying around. </li>
<br />
<li><strong>Cook a meal sometimes or do something that she usually does.</strong> Sometimes I stop by the grocery store to pick up some good pieces of fish and a bottle of wine. Then our son and I prepare a meal. It's the thought that counts, even though the meal isn't as delectable as hers.</li>
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<li><strong>Write little notes and do little things for her. </strong>I usually leave handwritten notes for her to see when she gets up. Sometimes I'll leave a note several pages ahead in the pages of whatever she's reading. </li>
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<li><strong>Appreciate your woman wanting to keep herself looking good</strong> and don't complain about the outrageous bills. My salon haircuts are still no more than $30, but it's nothing in comparison to what women pay for cuts and color. Appreciate the beauty and budget it in every month or so. I get lucky on most salon days. </li>
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<li><strong>Keep her vehicle clean and running well.</strong> As a Southern gentleman, it's my duty to keep her vehicle in tip-top shape, her cell phone working and pay the bill. </li>
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<li><strong>Be open and honest.</strong> Don't be afraid to ask for what you want or say what you like. </li>
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<li><strong>Keep yourself healthy, clean, and in shape.</strong> Ask yourself why she would want to sleep with me. </li>
<br />
<li><strong>Make a budget together. </strong>It prevents financial stress! </li>
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<li><strong>Consider a short cruise.</strong> You don't have to be big spenders to enjoy the atmosphere and have fun. The atmosphere alone is usually enough. </li>
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<li><strong>Send flowers to her mother on your wife's birthday.</strong> Thanking her for bringing your wife into this world. </li>
</ol><br /><br />Do you have any tips for other married men? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
Staff
2017-03-02T18:58:00Z
Music Is A Gift
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Music-Is-A-Gift/376612510017096113.html
2017-03-02T18:57:00Z
2017-03-02T18:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />As I was driving home the other day, listening to your show, a caller was struggling with dealing with some life issues. You told her that when you have one of those discouraging moments, she should get in the car and sing - whether it was good singing or bad. You shared how much better that would make her feel. And it is so very true! <br /><br />My daughter took vocal lessons from a very accomplished vocal artist who would also give her "the science" behind singing. As a scientist and singer myself, I gleaned a lot from these lessons. Her instructor shared with her that when you sing, the vibrations in the mouth actually stimulate the pituitary gland in the brain to secrete hormones which elevate your mood level. How cool is that!! <br /><br />On my piano is a framed picture that states "<em>Music is the fair and glorious gift from God</em>". How fitting it is that he would design our bodies in such a way that when we would sing, it would bring joy to our hearts and spirit. I truly believe that is a gift for us, and when we sing His praises, we probably feel even better. Thank you for all you do to help others move from discouraging to even better! <br /><br />God bless and sing on!!<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you try to change your mood when you've had a bad day? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-03-02T18:57:00Z
Keeping Intimacy Alive
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-Intimacy-Alive/-744343598488953482.html
2017-03-01T18:58:00Z
2017-03-01T18:58:00Z
<p><br />My husband leaves me cute little notes. Sometimes he spells I love you with cotton swabs. For his birthday, I bought him a "love kit". It contains oil, a feather duster, body butter, a candle and body glitter. We enjoy our time together. We try new oils, which I have made at a shop that blends fragrances together to create just the right scent. I bought him bubble bath, massage oil, and lotion infused with the special scent we like. Love that stuff! <br /><br />Putting small things together like this make it more fun for both of us. <br /><br /><br /><br />How do you keep your relationship steamy? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-03-01T18:58:00Z
Happily Stunned
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Happily-Stunned/130013115066636504.html
2017-03-01T18:57:00Z
2017-03-01T18:57:00Z
<p><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have never emailed someone I listen to on the radio before but I had to tell you how thankful I am for your show, strong advice, and help. <br /><br />The call from Dee had my jaw on the floor. When she talked about her son living in the car, with no shoes, it hurt to listen. Hearing that she finally took your advice to walk away from him was also hard to hear. And to think, now he is graduating! I was very happily stunned. Thank the baby Jesus my son is a hard working husband and father. <br /><br />Just wanted you to know you are appreciated, <br /><br />Sam<br /><br /><br /><br />What makes you appreciate Dr. Laura? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-03-01T18:57:00Z
What My Parents Taught Me About Relationships
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-My-Parents-Taught-Me-About-Relationships/-370616382969202856.html
2017-02-28T18:58:00Z
2017-02-28T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I grew up in a home where my parents fought a lot and always in front of me. I actually have a memory of getting in between them during a conflict to help settle a disagreement. I was probably 12 years old. <br /><br />I don't want to blame them for my behavior; however, it did impact me and my relationships as an adult. It had a lasting impact on my relationship with my former spouse and also with my close friendships. I used to believe that every significant relationship needed to have a giant blow out and then reconciliation. Then I knew the relationship was strong and meaningful. If the other person would continue to be with me after that, then they must love me. <br /><br />I did not realize I was damaging my relationships with this behavior. I thought I was making them stronger. It took me decades to realize this. Now I know that conflict is not something I should create to prove the strength of the relationship. Treating the other person with respect, kindness, decency, and love, is the way to make the relationship meaningful and strong.<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you make meaningful relationships? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-02-28T18:58:00Z
Getting Off The Pity Train
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Getting-Off-The-Pity-Train/-37023640612731554.html
2017-02-28T18:57:00Z
2017-02-28T18:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am a new listener and a former "limp dick". Since listening to you, I am proud to say, I am no longer a limp dick! I feel strong and completely capable! <br /><br />My husband of 8 years has left me high and dry with 5 kids. At first I was terrified. Not anymore! I have chosen to get off my pity train and get motivated! I am going to be happy and I am going to break this chain with my babies. I am going to put an end to this chaos. <br /><br />Not having a man DOES NOT mean that I am broken! I have read most of your books and they have all helped me tremendously. So here I am, letting go of all my self-pity. <br /><br />Thank you so much for your wisdom and being so blunt! You rock!<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you had to pull yourself together recently from a loss? How did you bounce back? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-02-28T18:57:00Z
You've Got The Ammunition To Make His Night
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Youve-Got-The-Ammunition-To-Make-His-Night/-132874445308664292.html
2017-02-27T18:58:00Z
2017-02-27T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I wrote you an email about 12 years ago and you read it on the air. My kids were little. I was a frazzled, sloppy, overtired wife without anything left for the man of my dreams. Something you said to a caller jarred me, and scared me. I was happily married, but I wasn't showing it to my hubby. I made a commitment to follow your advice and become my husband's girlfriend. <br /><br />Before he got home from work one night, I cleaned the house, had the kids bathed and dressed for bed. Then I took my time to get myself ready. I wore sparkling earrings, khakis and tight, white t-shirt. I came downstairs and greeted him warmly when he got home. He was perplexed. He kept asking me if I were going out for the evening. No, I replied back every time, and I continued to serve him dinner and ask about his day. The results were very positive. It was genius! Thank you. <br /><br />Fast forward to today. We've been married 17 years. I'm dressed, primped and I'm his "date" even if we just stay in. The tight white t-shirt still has a part to play...because that's what girlfriends wear! <br /><br />Thank you for your work, Dr. Laura. I hope other wives heed the warning--you're tired, he's tired, we're all tired. But, you've got an arsenal at your disposal: lip gloss, mascara and a tight white t-shirt. Put them on and make his night. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Cat<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you make yourself your husband's girlfriend (or wife's boyfriend)? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-02-27T18:58:00Z
Straight From My Heart
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Straight-From-My-Heart/446770848941859856.html
2017-02-27T18:57:00Z
2017-02-27T18:57:00Z
<p><br />I think of emails to send you all the time. Long, verbose, emotional things to try and make you understand how much you've touched me on the deepest level. But today I'll just keep it short and tell you, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you. What you do, in the forum in which you do it, saves children, empowers women, and nourishes men. <br /><br />My grandma died in 2011. It was the loss of my best friend and closest confidant. Hearing your voice, calling someone "<em>babe</em>", or tenderly delivering truth to one person on the phone, is you curing a disease that runs wild in all of us and our culture. <br /><br />I want to thank you for pushing through all of your own life events and not abandoning us. Thank you for showing us how to take care of ourselves by the way you take care of yourself. I have HEARD you evolve even over the past 4 years. I'm impressed, inspired, and grateful. Was that short? Thank you. Thank you. <br /><br />You rock. <br /><br />Beth<br /><br /><br /><br />Has Dr. Laura made a difference in your life? How? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-02-27T18:57:00Z
A Proud Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Proud-Mother/77288445602355204.html
2017-02-24T18:58:00Z
2017-02-24T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Thank you for letting me be on your show Friday. I always thought you had the easiest job in the world, but now know what a heavy responsibility it is to share your advice with the world.<br /><br /> I hope that my experience with addiction has helped someone and gives them hope. In the future, I think it would be helpful for parents to hear from others who can share their experiences on how they became sober and what their parents did or did not do. This would possibly give them an addict's perspective on how their "<em>help</em>" prolonged the addiction. <br /><br />I'm signing this letter "Proud Mother" something I thought I would never be able to say again. <br /><br />A Proud Mother, <br /><br />Dee<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever conquered an addiction? How did you do it? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-02-24T18:58:00Z
Children Need Fathers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Children-Need-Fathers/-634926721373329424.html
2017-02-24T18:57:00Z
2017-02-24T18:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />This morning as I was watching the my morning news show, one of the news achors had announced that she recently adopted a baby girl. She went on to say how happy she was, and how she never thought she could feel so much love as she does now. Then she went on to say that people would stop her in the streets and ask if she had children, she would reply "no"; but now she can say "yes". <br /><br />I thought to myself that's an odd thing to say, it's a baby, a human life not a trophy. It's not something that makes you <em>fit in</em> with everyone. Another thing that came to mind is, she is not married, in her 50's, and works full time. I thought how selfish, and unfair to that little girl. Feeding something in her, to make her whole and not thinking about the big, extended picture. <br /><br />Children need fathers, especially girls. I guess it's job security for you, sad but true. Thank you for your help, and wisdom you share with the world every day! I have been a listener for 20+years. God Bless you. <br /><br /><br /><br />Do you think it's acceptable for a single parent to try and adopt? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-02-24T18:57:00Z
The 4R's of Forgiveness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-4Rs-of-Forgiveness/335183409479808535.html
2017-02-23T18:58:00Z
2017-02-23T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I have written to you before to thank you for the advice that changed my life. You gave me permission to cut my drug addicted sister out of my life and it was the best thing I have ever done for myself and my children. Last week, you taught me something I have needed to learn - you taught me how to respond to people who criticize me for not '<em>forgiving and forgetting</em>' my sister's actions.<br /><br />I have released her completely in my heart and have peace around that. But do I forgive and forget? Hell no. She has never taken <strong>responsibility</strong> for anything she has done to me. She has never shown <strong>remorse</strong>. She has never done anything to <strong>repair</strong> the relationship. She has never committed to not <strong>repeating</strong> the behavior. In fact, she is still very much today the same as she has been for 30 plus years. <br /><br />I still won't have anything to do with her. And I am glad. <br /><br />Thank you again.<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever had to cut ties with a loved one? How did it impact your life? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-02-23T18:58:00Z
Giggles & Silliness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Giggles--Silliness/-917835875099889894.html
2017-02-23T18:57:00Z
2017-02-23T18:57:00Z
<p><br />During a six hour road trip with my husband, we tuned in to your program. I listen all the time, while my husband only listens to the show once in a blue moon. As we listened, we were both focused on a particular call of a person in a floundering marriage. <br /><br />Your parting words to this caller were: "<em>When was the last time you were sweet, silly, or sensuous to your husband?"</em> Before I could even formulate an answer in my own head, my husband says "<em>last night</em>." I was all giggles. We're both 64 and have been married for 42 years. <br /><br />There is NO reason the fun ever needs to stop. Making the other person your priority keeps the marriage solid.<br /><br /><br />How do you keep your marriage solid? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-02-23T18:57:00Z
Dads Don't Do Laundry
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dads-Dont-Do-Laundry/271444203513698766.html
2017-02-22T18:58:00Z
2017-02-22T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Were were getting ready to leave the house when my 4 year old son comes to me, with his shoes and socks in his hands. He asks "Mom, I want you to put these on for me?" I replied, "Honey you need to do things that you're capable of doing on your own; you don't want to be helpless. Someday you're going to have to do a lot of things on your own. You'll be doing your own laundry..." <br /><br />He stops me and says "No, I'm gonna be a dad. Dad's don't do laundry." <br /><br />I couldn't help but laugh and immediately text my husband. My husband replied swiftly, "Oh dear..." It made me laugh because it was such an innocent thing for my son to say and he genuinely meant it. LOL <br /><br />Thanks for always having my back as a stay at home mom. Dr. Laura, you're the best!! I have the best job in the world and I couldn't be more grateful... or tired, but grateful!<br /><br /><br /><br />Share your kidlet's fun moments with us. Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-02-22T18:58:00Z
You Changed My Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Changed-My-Life/-378357019079548712.html
2017-02-22T18:57:00Z
2017-02-22T18:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Mother Laura, <br /><br />I say "Mother Laura" because you are the mother I wish I had. I began listening to you 20 years ago and I listen daily. You saved my life. My extended family is extremely dysfunctional. At times, I was also leading a very self-destructive lifestyle. <br /><br />Since then I have turned my life around. The journey wasn't easy. In fact it was terribly painful, but I have a wonderful family of my own now. I just wanted to thank you. Because, of you, I have 3 children, who lead their lives with integrity and are good people. Words can't express what you have done for me. <br /><br />Thank you so much, <br /><br />Diane<br /><br /><br /><br />How have you changed your life to be better for your family? Tell us! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-02-22T18:57:00Z
Being a Mom Means Growing a 'Pair'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-a-Mom-Means-Growing-a-Pair/-432744713177601865.html
2017-02-21T18:58:00Z
2017-02-21T18:58:00Z
<p><br /><br /><span>The hardest part about being a mom is waking up every morning at 5:30am. Spending my mornings making school lunch and breakfast for the last 12 years sounds torturous but, I wouldn't change a thing. <br /><br />I have made it work by not complaining. I'm choosing to do it because I love her. Overall, being a mom has made me grow a "pair". </span><br /><br /><br /><br />What was the hardest part of becoming a new mom? Tell us! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-02-21T18:58:00Z
Think Before Leaping Into Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Think-Before-Leaping-Into-Marriage/971418364846759029.html
2017-02-21T18:57:00Z
2017-02-21T18:57:00Z
<p><br /><br /><span>When you say your vows to one another on your wedding day must love one another. In order for the marriage to work you must always be faithful to each other. That's exactly what we have done and have been married for 40 years.<br /><br />Don't get married if you can't do the things you promise in your vows !!!</span><br /><br /><br /><br />Did you think about all the possibilities before you tied the knot or did you just jump in? Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-02-21T18:57:00Z
Setting the Tone For Your Lives
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Setting-the-Tone-For-Your-Lives/-418163181616652851.html
2017-02-17T18:58:00Z
2017-02-17T18:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />When we were young with two small girls, my husband was a full time seminary student. I studied and took some random classes. I ended up typing notes for him, then tending to the house and the girls. <br /><br />One afternoon, he was all about the classes. I sat him down and told him I felt like the knot on a log. I was not part of it but I was not separated from it either. I assured him that when he graduated, WE would be going into the ministry full time. That was one of the best conversations we have ever had!! <br /><br />It set the tone for the rest of our lives. Now our girls are grown and we are in our late 60's. We have always been "<em>together</em>" in this life of ours.<br /><br /><br /><br />How did you and your husband set the tone for your romance? Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-02-17T18:58:00Z
The Recipe to Our Happiness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Recipe-to-Our-Happiness/911093963492649037.html
2017-02-17T18:57:00Z
2017-02-17T18:57:00Z
<p><br />My husband and I always say, 'I love you'( morning, day and night) and we never get tired of saying it. Even when he is driving or just watching TV, we still hold hands. I would even just touch his shoulder while driving, he loves that. <br /><br />Now that he is retired from the Navy he gets to do it more now. He always touches my heart when he does these 3 things , as a couple these 3 are the secret recipe to our happiness.<br /><br /></p>
<ol>
<li>Saying "I love you"</li>
<br />
<li>Holding Hands</li>
<br />
<li>Touching</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><br />What's your recipe for happiness? Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-02-17T18:57:00Z
We Are a Team
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Are-a-Team/-81695248242738451.html
2017-02-16T18:58:00Z
2017-02-16T18:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />A wise couple married for over 60 years told my husband and I to never stop loving each other at the same time. Some days you won't love him and that's fine but he needs to make you fall in love again. And vice a versa. Marriage is 100% you and him not 50/50 that's a divorce. <br /><br />Watching my husband with our kids lets me know no one could love our kids like he does. It's so reassuring knowing I don't have to hide things from him, except of course the last beer! I sleep well at night knowing he's the one for me and me for him. I can't envision my life any different. He's who god put in my life. We are a team. <br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a special man in your life? Tell us about him! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-02-16T18:58:00Z
I Am Fabulous
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Am-Fabulous/599914222222001614.html
2017-02-16T18:57:00Z
2017-02-16T18:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />The change in me is about how I perceive myself. The insecurity of, "<em>why would anyone cool want to hang out with me?</em>" has kept me down for far too long. <br /><br />In October, at 49 years old, I loaded up my Harley 1998 Superglide and took it for the first time to Guadalajara. I've always had a small handful of friends there but this year was different. I felt like I no longer needed to be "with" somebody to hang out with friends. This is HUGE for me! <br /><br />I started to see myself differently over a 3 month period. The coin finally dropped one night recently when I truly realized that I am fabulous and there's NO reason why people wouldn't like me! I had the proof of the last 3 months. I am home now and in the process of shedding the STUPIDITY of my old way of thinking. <br /><br />Dr. Laura, you have certainly had a role in my development in so many ways. Chiefly, I have finally understood and fully accepted the concept of personal responsibility in all its forms and it has really helped me get my life together. I feel sooo good! Thank you so much!<br /><br /><br /> <br />How have you changed yourself for the better? Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-02-16T18:57:00Z
Making His Life Easier
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-His-Life-Easier/-658378468284949272.html
2017-02-15T18:58:00Z
2017-02-15T18:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />My husband is a truck driver and I only see him on weekends. Even though I don't see him much, I make it a point to little love notes in his truck when I pack his food and make his bed. I make all his food to take on the road; I cook his favorite meals when he is home. <br /><br />Just small things to show him I appreciate him and think of him. Once in a while I do some bigger things; like finding all his directions for his loads or scouting out truck stops. Just helping to make his life a little easier when I can. <br /><br /><3 He appreciates it and I appreciate him.<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you show your man that you appreciate him? Tell us! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-02-15T18:58:00Z
Getting Back Up After Life Knocks You Down
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Getting-Back-Up-After-Life-Knocks-You-Down/-909835104693612622.html
2017-02-15T18:57:00Z
2017-02-15T18:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />My dad says life is not always fair. I was let go (fired) by a company after 11+ years of being a top employee. It wasn't fair or nice, how the company got rid of me or the other co-workers who were great employees. <br /><br />I had to get back up and look for a new job. I had to face reality. In real life there are bills to pay. Looking for something different was good! It pushed me out of my comfort zone and in the end, it all worked out.<br /><br /><br /><br />What words of wisdom have your parents shared with you? Tell us! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-02-15T18:57:00Z
Gaining A New Perspective
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Gaining-A-New-Perspective/-49749189554333007.html
2017-02-14T18:58:00Z
2017-02-14T18:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />A little over 6 years ago I was given only months to live, due to complications from extreme morbid obesity. I struggled as an overweight child, to an obese adolescent, and finally a super morbidly obese adult. I am the perfect example of what childhood obesity actually turns in to. <br /><br />After avoiding the doctor for years I was diagnosed with diabetes. My sugar was in the 500s on a daily basis! The next blow was a diagnosis of cirrhosis of the liver; which left me on deaths door step. I was tired and ready to die. As I was planning my funeral, I realized that I was going to die before I lived...and it tormented me. So I made what I call my "Live-It List". Kind of like a bucket list, but it was stuff I wanted to live for. I decided to fight. Over the course of 2 years I lost 420 pounds. I went from a size 70 to a size 32. My life turned completely around and I was finally free to live how I wanted. <br /><br />Change can be hard. While my outside changed rapidly, my inside wasn't able to keep up. Last week I turned on your program at just the right time to hear you talking to a caller about their self-worth and I was exactly what I needed to hear. You told the caller that they had more to be proud of than you did, because they had to dig themselves out of a hole that you didn't have to. Wow! So now when I think about the years I've lost, and the time I've wasted, I remind myself of the hole I came from and I give myself permission to be proud. Thank you for helping me see myself from a new perspective, sometimes that's all you need.<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you helped some one get their self-confidence back? How? Tell us! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-02-14T18:58:00Z
Making The Difference For Teenagers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-The-Difference-For-Teenagers/550418107641063960.html
2017-02-14T18:57:00Z
2017-02-14T18:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />I am the proud owner of a small takeout pizza place. I am also a member of the Dr. Laura family and I faithfully listen to your show while I work every evening. This is special because I primarily work with teenagers who I see struggle with divorced parents and blended families. <br /><br />As their boss, I am responsible for teaching these kids a good work ethic. I am thankful for your show. As we work, I can trust that as they listen along, you will help them in many other ways as they mature and become young adults. Both my husband and I feel that the world is a better place with your advice and we hope more people will take the time to listen to you.</p>
<br /><br /><br />How do you try to educate others? Tell us! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
Staff
2017-02-14T18:57:00Z
Today I Will....
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Today-I-Will..../-81757362850627529.html
2017-02-13T18:58:00Z
2017-02-13T18:58:00Z
<p> </p>
Hello Dr. Laura! <br /><br />Today I read this passage and I immediately thought of you. I thought of how you have made all these words become your life's beliefs and values! <br /><br />So because of your strength and ability to continue to fight for your happiness, I have also made these words my life goals. Just like you, I will choose these words to help me succeed through my life's troubles and tribulations. Today I Will . . . <br /><br /><em><strong>Today I will make a difference. </strong></em>I will begin by controlling my thoughts. A person is the product of his thoughts. I want to be happy and hopeful. Therefore, I will have thoughts that are happy and hopeful. I refuse to be victimized by my circumstances. Optimism will be my companion, and victory will be my hallmark. <br /><br /><em><strong>Today I will make a difference.</strong></em> I will be grateful for the twenty-four hours that are before me. Time is a precious commodity. I refuse to allow what little time I have to be contaminated by self-pity, anxiety, or boredom. I will face this day with the joy of a child and the courage of a giant. While it is here, I will use it for loving and giving. <br /><br /><em><strong>Today I will make a difference.</strong></em> I will not let past failures haunt me. Even though my life is scarred with mistakes, I refuse to rummage through my trash heap of failures. I will admit them. I will correct them. I will press on. Victoriously. No failure is fatal. It's okay to stumble. . . . I will get up. It's okay to fail. . . . I will rise again. <br /><br /><em><strong>Today I will make a difference.</strong> </em>I will spend time with those I love. My spouse, my children, my family. Today I will spend at least five minutes with the significant people in my world. Five quality minutes of talking or hugging or thanking or listening. <br /><br />Today I will make a difference. <br /><br /><br /><br />How will you make a difference today? Tell us! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
Staff
2017-02-13T18:58:00Z
They Came Back
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/They-Came-Back/694052409037505194.html
2017-02-13T18:57:00Z
2017-02-13T18:57:00Z
<p> </p>
Recently a listener called about getting breast implants. She said she didn't want to go bigger, she just wanted them to stand at attention. <br /><br />My boobs dropped after childbirth, then a few years later after surgery and a successful weight loss off 100 lbs.; my boobs were literally deflated. They were pointing at my toes. After the weight loss, I started working out. When I start serious weight lifting with chest presses, my boobs started to come back! Now, after a year or so my boobs nearly look as good as they did in my 20s. They are absolutely at attention! <br /><br />I wanted to share with your listeners that no surgery is needed for a lift. They can do this one themselves with a little hard work. No, they won't have the artificial look, but who wants that? <br /><br />Love you Dr. Laura. My marriage and parenting has improved drastically since you became my daily therapist 2-3 years ago!!<br /><br /><br /><br />What do you do to feel more comfortable with yourself? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
Staff
2017-02-13T18:57:00Z
I Know My Purpose
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Know-My-Purpose/573568199371880011.html
2017-02-10T18:58:00Z
2017-02-10T18:58:00Z
<p> </p>
<span><span>All I have to do is step back and look at my life. My purpose is to be the best wife, mom (eventually grandma), friend and nurse to my dying patients. <br /><br />What I do for a living is more than a job, it is a calling. When someone dies, I make it as heart</span></span><span><span><span>warming for the family as possible. I have the family pick out an outfit for their loved one after they pass and I dress them in it. Sometimes I lotion their skin. I make it as natural looking as possible. I want to make them look like they were simply taking a nap before a night on the town. I put a lot of love in my care, whether my people are dead or alive.</span></span></span><br /><br /><br /><br />What do you think your purpose is? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
Staff
2017-02-10T18:58:00Z
An Amazing Gift
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/An-Amazing-Gift/395355705901989414.html
2017-02-10T18:57:00Z
2017-02-10T18:57:00Z
<p> </p>
<span><span>My husband and I have helped our daughter through her arrest, addiction recovery, an d pregnancy. Now have her and our beautiful 9 month old granddaughter living with us. Ayear ago we were empty nesters. <br /><br />It's been a blessing to see the growth and c</span></span><span><span><span>hange in our daughter, as this beautiful baby has literally saved her life. However hard it might sometimes seem, is swallowed up in that amazing baby, love and family.</span></span></span><br /><br /><br /><br />What bad habit have you risen above? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
Staff
2017-02-10T18:57:00Z
I Only Needed One Reason
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Only-Needed-One-Reason/2622125901405029.html
2017-02-09T18:58:00Z
2017-02-09T18:58:00Z
<p> </p>
I gave up drinking 2 years ago. I started praying <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serenity_Prayer" target="_blank">The Serenity Prayer</a> last year and came to a place of acceptance for the things I cannot change in my life. <br /><br />My journey into sobriety, acceptance, and change were inspired by my love for my son and his love for me. That was all the reason I needed to overcome all the pain of the past 18 years of my life. I now see beautifully surprising things coming out of every experience. I have joy beyond compare in knowing I have risen above my pain. I'm daring to live more fully and meaningfully no matter what my circumstances are. <br /><br /><br /><br />What bad habit have you risen above? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
Staff
2017-02-09T18:58:00Z
The Greatest Experience of My Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Greatest-Experience-of-My-Life/271063396750327926.html
2017-02-09T18:57:00Z
2017-02-09T18:57:00Z
<p> </p>
I remember reading a quote from Jackie Kennedy while her husband was President. She was saying that if you fail as a parent you fail! <br /><br />No matter what you achieve in life, if your children are not happy then you are unhappy. We were lucky to have total commitment from both parents. It was the greatest experience of my life, having my babies and raising them. <br /><br />Now I am watching the fruit of OUR labor as they have the best Father any girls could ever have...Thank you my dearly beloved.<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have any quotes you'd like to share with us? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
Staff
2017-02-09T18:57:00Z
Healing Is A Process
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Healing-Is-A-Process/-934097637470454653.html
2017-02-08T18:58:00Z
2017-02-08T18:58:00Z
<p> </p>
I lost my mom just over a year ago, and when it came time to talk to my kids I decided to be honest. I remember saying that they might see me cry, be mad, quiet, or even laughing. I said all those feelings were okay, it was a part of a healing process. <br /><br />I explained that everyone heals differently. They understood. I never hid my sorrow from them. Mind you, I had a few break downs privately, but I wanted them to know it was okay to feel all these separate emotions. I made sure they knew it would take time to feel okay again. A year later, we are still healing but I think we have made healthy progress in dealing with the event.<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you talk to your kids about bad news? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
Staff
2017-02-08T18:58:00Z
New Year, New Additions
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/New-Year,-New-Additions/-279533860767266356.html
2017-02-08T18:57:00Z
2017-02-08T18:57:00Z
<p> </p>
<span>Becoming a mommy has been the biggest change for me this past year. My daughter has made me think about more than myself and my happiness. She has taught me how to be completely unselfish. <br /><br />She reminds me to slow down and enjoy the small moments. Being a stay-at-home mommy has changed my life and I am so grateful and blessed to be able to do so!</span><br /><br /><br /><br />Why do you enjoy being a mom? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
Staff
2017-02-08T18:57:00Z
Be The Best One
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Be-The-Best-One/-758083815012535.html
2017-02-07T18:58:00Z
2017-02-07T18:58:00Z
<p> </p>
I had a strong loving home growing up. I also was lucky enough to grow up around my Grandmother. She was a constant in our lives. Her favorite saying when I'd walk out of the door was, "Be the best one!!" That meant so much to me, on so many levels. She was wise enough to allow me to leave this up to my own interpretation. <br /><br />I made conscious efforts to be the most polite one, the most helpful one, the hardest working one, and most focused, and so on. My Grandmother had called on me to be everything that I knew as good. <br /><br />So I gift it forward to all of you now. Go and "Be the best one!" its okay. You will inspire others to be their best one too!<br /><br /><br /><br />Who makes you want to be the 'best one'? Why? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
Staff
2017-02-07T18:58:00Z
It's Not About Flowers Or Gifts
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Not-About-Flowers-Or-Gifts/277346440239115336.html
2017-02-07T18:57:00Z
2017-02-07T18:57:00Z
<p><br />My husband shows me daily that he loves me. He goes to work, he rarely gripes or complains. He respects me and our family. He is human and has his faults, but he is the man I chose to spend the rest of my life loving. <br /><br />He's not big on flowers or gifts, but the silly thing is that I don't care. To me, if the man isn't kind, loyal, and honest it doesn't matter if he spoils me. I've got a good man and if you asked him, he would tell you we have a great marriage. :) <br /><br />Huge thanks to you Dr. Laura, I started reading your books when I was 17. By the time the tough early years of marriage came, I was in my bible and your books. You're an awesome lady with great advice!</p>
<p><br />Do you have a great spouse? Tell us about them! Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-02-07T18:57:00Z
It's Never Worth It
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Never-Worth-It/-176059184120370340.html
2017-02-06T18:58:00Z
2017-02-06T18:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />I did not hear your opening about infidelity affecting children. However, I want to share my story because I lived it. I destroyed my family.</p>
<p>My husband was a Mama's boy and favored his family over me and our daughters. He moved us around and I worked full time to help support us. Angered at my situation I lashed out by cheating, with 2 different men.</p>
<p>I desperately wanted to feel love from someone who could adore me for me, not just for the money I could provide. I was not there for my daughters. They were told by their father exactly what their mother did to destroy the family. It has been a long hard road from that day 15 years ago.</p>
<p>Long since divorced, I still struggle to regain my daughters trust. Those men I cheated with? Long gone. Never in a million years would I go back and repeat what I did. PLEASE tell your listeners. <strong>DO NOT CHEAT. IT IS NOT, EVER, WORTH IT.</strong></p>
<p><br /><br />Have you ever had an affair? What happened as the ultimate result? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-02-06T18:58:00Z
Pick One. Parenting Or Your Phone
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Pick-One.-Parenting-Or-Your-Phone/-430471714868462338.html
2017-02-06T18:56:00Z
2017-02-06T18:56:00Z
<p><br /><br />Just ran across this and I had to share!</p>
<p>Dr. Laura. God bless.</p>
<p><img src="/images/blog/rfcvbpeiykg.jpg" alt="" /></p>
<p><br /><br />Have you ever seen something that just made you question other parents? What was it? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-02-06T18:56:00Z
Embracing Your Role
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Embracing-Your-Role/23020593784903587.html
2017-02-03T18:58:00Z
2017-02-03T18:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />You have helped me tremendously over the years. You helped me to take responsibility and own my stuff. THAT is the key! It's hard to do the right thing when you "<em>feel</em>" you've been wronged. <br /><br />Years ago, you had a caller with whom I identified. She tended to the kids and did the cooking and cleaning, while her husband worked outside the home each day. She said her husband never thanked her for all the things she did. In this instance, she wanted thanks for cooking dinner. You said something like, "<em>Do you thank him for going to work each day and providing an income to support the family? EVERY DAY!</em>" She hadn't looked at it this way and neither had I. <br /><br />Once you embrace your roles and learn to appreciate and respect them, life gets easier. My husband LOVES hearing how much I appreciate that he goes to a job he hates everyday to provide for us. I let him know he is the man. I love on him every chance I get. Men are simple - you say it all of the time and it's so spot on! <br /><br />You've taught me that we cannot change others, but by changing ourselves, we change the dynamic. Whoa - what a beautiful thing. Thank you! Keep inspiring us to do better. <br /><br />Faithful listener, <br /><br />Lynn<br /><br /><br /><br />How have you adjusted to married life? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-02-03T18:58:00Z
Your Influence
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Your-Influence/161704316480285426.html
2017-02-03T18:57:00Z
2017-02-03T18:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I have been listener since I was at least 8, I'm 24 now, and I just want to say thank you. Your show, your advice, and your charisma have influenced my life in so many ways.</p>
<ul>
<li>You're career inspired me to become a couples counselor, so that I can help people just as you have. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Your advice helped my parents choose to stay together years ago and work through their issues. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Your advice continues to influence me today in my new marriage. </li>
</ul>
<p>The values you stand for and promote are exactly what my husband and I try to implement in our home on a daily basis. Thank you for all that you do, and I hope you have a wonderful day! <br /><br />Off to do the right thing, <br /><br />Lori<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you try to do the right thing? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-02-03T18:57:00Z
A Change Of Perspective
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Change-Of-Perspective/214538120607701116.html
2017-02-02T18:58:00Z
2017-02-02T18:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am a happily married mother of three, but I did everything wrong before I found you. I could blame my alcoholic mother or my workaholic father, but the I made choices were mine. <br /><br />After leaving high school with an infant, I went out into the work world and I tried to create an instant family with any man who gave me a second look. After many broken hearts, both for myself and my daughter I found you. I was hooked. <br /><br />And from then on I listened, I really listened. I started taking your advice.I sat back and waited on the right guy instead of trying to make one. I am happily married to an amazing man, with whom I have two more kids. I even have a great relationship with my daughter's dad and stepmother and consider the stepmother a friend. The last 9 years of my life have been amazing since I let you in. I can't begin to thank you enough for how you've changed my perspective on life.<br /><br /><br /><br />How has your thought process changed since you began listening to Dr. Laura? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-02-02T18:58:00Z
Just A Teacher
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Just-A-Teacher/127060499662006681.html
2017-02-02T18:57:00Z
2017-02-02T18:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just tuned in and heard you talking with a teacher on the air. <br /><br />My daughter is in the Early Childhood Education program at college. She started a blog I just thought I would share it with you. I thought it was really good and insightful. If you want to read her blog, <a href="https://jaimemadison.wordpress.com/2017/01/24/just-a-teacher/" target="_blank">click here</a>.<br /><br />I was a stay-at-home mom of four daughters and have listened to you since 2003. <br /><br />Thanks for everything! <br /><br />Jane <br /><br /><br /><br />Do you think teachers get enough credit for what they do? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-02-02T18:57:00Z
I Can Relate
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Can-Relate/732368427011943304.html
2017-02-01T18:58:00Z
2017-02-01T18:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />I totally relate to the <a href="/b/Teaching-My-Little-Men-To-Choose-Wisely-And-Treat-Kindly/465568775810803041.html" target="_blank">mom who emailed</a> about wanting to slow down her sons' childhood! My son is growing up way too fast! He just turned 9, and for years I've been frustrated listening to other moms trying to speed up each phase of childhood. <br /><br />Sure, each stage has its challenges. I'm not particularly looking forward to adolescence, but I wouldn't trade these days for anything! The joy that my son brings to my life far outweighs the less desirable aspects of parenting such as guilt, worry, etc. I'm so thankful that I've been able to be home with him almost fulltime to savor the sweet moments <br /><br /><br />How do you try to help others? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-02-01T18:58:00Z
I Wish I Could Do More
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Wish-I-Could-Do-More/790008479705873850.html
2017-02-01T18:57:00Z
2017-02-01T18:57:00Z
<p><br />I just wanted to thank you and yours for putting on your Valentine's Day Boutique. I purchased from the boutique last year and again this year. As I was sitting in the hospital lobby waiting for my hubby to have a procedure, I scrolled through the jewelry.....I was thinking that I probably shouldn't be buying myself anything in this price range. <br /><br />Then I realized how blessed I am to have a comfortable life. We have what we need in our humble abode. I still have my sweet hubby after 11 years of difficult medical problems. Not many people could overcome the obstacles this man has but boy he just persists and continues to live life as best he can and still make sure I am taken care of. He is a MAN. So it was my pleasure to purchase the beautiful Dear Heart VIII. <br /><br />I know that the money will help some veteran who has given so much of themselves for me and my family. I only wish I could give more. Bless you and all you do. <br /><br />P.S. I listen to your podcast EVERY DAY at work.<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you try to help others? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-02-01T18:57:00Z
Spread The Word
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Spread-The-Word/976549525659417202.html
2017-01-31T18:58:00Z
2017-01-31T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just found out that if I want <a href="https://smile.amazon.com/" target="_blank">Amazon.com</a> will give a portion of all my purchases to benefit the charity of my choice, at no extra cost to me. I immediately thought of you and <a href="https://operationfamilyfund.org/">Operation Family Fund</a>! I searched for them by name and "<em><a href="https://smile.amazon.com/gp/chpf/homepage/ref=smi_se_scyc_srch_stsr?q=operation+family+fund&orig=%2F" target="_blank">Operation Enduring Freedom Family Fund</a></em>" was the top result. After some research, I realized that this is the same charity! Amazon just has the name listed differently in their system. <br /><br />Now, a percentage of all my purchases will go to Operation Family Fund. I am so thrilled and thought you should know that this option is available for anyone that signs up for it. If you tell your listeners about it, make sure they know that Operation Enduring Freedom Family Fund is the same charity. <br /><br />Thank you for all that you do for veterans, family, and children. You have changed more lives for the better than you could possibly know, including mine. <br /><br />With love, <br /><br />Diana<br /><br /><br />How do you try to help others? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-31T18:58:00Z
Creating A Future Happy Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Creating-A-Future-Happy-Home/15430369077721726.html
2017-01-31T18:57:00Z
2017-01-31T18:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I wanted to take the opportunity to email and thank you for writing '<a href="/pg/jsp/community/bookdetail.jsp?detID=-915817124771335241" target="_blank">The Proper Feeding And Care Of Marriage</a>'. My fiancé and I received your book as an engagement gift from my mother and father. They have been avid listeners and fans of yours since I was a young child. <br /><br />My fiancé and I have both taken the opportunity to read your book as part of our pre-marriage counseling. I have also purchased and read '<a href="/pg/jsp/community/bookdetail.jsp?detID=-950235365937463723" target="_blank">The Proper Feeding And Care Of Husbands</a>' which I recommend to all women before they get married. When I told a few of my friends I was reading the book, they looked at me like I was being brainwashed. These are the same women whose husbands come over to my fiancé's home and complain about their wives. <br /><br />Reading this book gave me a deeper understanding the value of his guy time with these married men. You would not believe how many times my fiancé tells me that his friends say he is the luckiest guy in the world for having a future wife like me. Once again thank you Dr. Laura for all your wisdom and for helping me creates our future happy home. <br /><br />Love, <br /><br />Ginger<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you try to make a happy home? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-31T18:57:00Z
Teaching My Little Men To Choose Wisely And Treat Kindly
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teaching-My-Little-Men-To-Choose-Wisely-And-Treat-Kindly/465568775810803041.html
2017-01-30T18:58:00Z
2017-01-30T18:58:00Z
<p><br />My littlest one is going to kindergarten next year and I want the growing to stop. I feel like I need to have more kids. I keep telling myself that since I already have 2 boys, I will just have to be the best mother-in-law instead. Like Dr. Laura. I will be easygoing. I will bring a dish to all the festivities and I will not demand to have the holidays at my home. <br /><br />I will just keep talking with my boys about choosing wisely and treating kindly. Cheers to Dr. Laura for helping me be a better Mommy and Wifey!!! <br /><br /><br /><br />Are your kids growing too fast? What will you miss the most about their childhood? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-30T18:58:00Z
You Made Me Think
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Made-Me-Think/-340459049349296551.html
2017-01-30T18:57:00Z
2017-01-30T18:57:00Z
<p><br />I heard the podcast the other day and something you said really struck a chord. You shared that you apologized to your son about yelling at him when he was 8 and why. <br /><br />It got me reflecting on some occasions where I yelled at my son. I too was stressed out and overwhelmed. I apologized to him. I wanted to make sure he wasn't carrying anything around from the past that I might have caused. He said that his childhood was good and he wasn't affected by my yelling at that time. He appreciated it.<br /><br />Thank you for making me stop and think.<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever apologized to your child? What for? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-30T18:57:00Z
Dad Is A Little Crazier Than You Are
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dad-Is-A-Little-Crazier-Than-You-Are/785650418490154113.html
2017-01-27T18:58:00Z
2017-01-27T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I thought you may enjoy this story. My husband is a very mild mannered, likable, funny, and goofy Dad. Yet he is definitely the leader of our family and the alpha Dad needed to raise our son. <br /><br />My daughter, was suffering from an injury and on crutches. My son became frustrated with her. I truly do not remember why, but he kicked one crutch out from under her. She feel to the floor, more startled than hurt. My husband took my son and held him up, eye to eye with him and almost nose to nose, then expressed in a voice so calm it was eerie how this behavior would never be tolerated. <br /><br />I knew my son was scared, but I also knew my husband would never hurt him, so I left the room and let Dad handle this. A few minutes later my husband walked downstairs muttering to himself... "<em>society depends on 'Junior' knowing Dad is a little bit crazier than he is</em>"...<br /><br />I still chuckle when I think of this, as I do not think my husband was aware he said it out loud. Thanks for letting me share! <br /><br /><br /><br />How does dad take care of business on your home? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-27T18:58:00Z
You Opened My Eyes To Being A Better Parent
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Opened-My-Eyes-To-Being-A-Better-Parent/590090710669242382.html
2017-01-27T18:57:00Z
2017-01-27T18:57:00Z
<p><br />I heard a call recently, where you talked to a teenage boy who was dabbling with vapor cigarettes. I really want to thank you for that call. <br /><br />I have a boy about the same age. I don't always know how to talk to him. Hearing how you talked to him made me realize how I could improve. I really appreciate it. My son is in the same boat as the caller and I tend to get upset. <br /><br />I downloaded the podcast and will listen to it several times to remind myself how to approach him calmly. I need to spend more time asking questions instead of nagging and lecturing. I really appreciate you. You opened my eyes in how to be a great wife/girlfriend and now how to be a better parent! <br /><br />You rock!!<br /><br /><br /><br />How have you had to adjust your parenting over the years? What happened? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-27T18:57:00Z
Always Treat Kindly
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Always-Treat-Kindly/-394816872894506281.html
2017-01-26T18:58:00Z
2017-01-26T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Always treat each other kindly! We both can truly apologize to each other and I'm thankful for that. <br /><br />We wake up every day and workout together. We start our day by pushing each other, admiring one another for our dedication to our goals, and life together. I start my day off with my real live hero. I work hard to make him smile bigger every day! It's almost a selfish act to make him so happy because in return it's what makes the world turn for me. <br /><br />It works what you say Dr. Laura! I chose wisely and we treat each other kindly... the rest is really a wonderful daily job (but never feels like a job). <br /><br /><br /><br />How do you and your husband treat each other? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-26T18:58:00Z
We Are Inspired
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Are-Inspired/135250280352420179.html
2017-01-26T18:57:00Z
2017-01-26T18:57:00Z
<p>I just have to tell you....Thank you. I have listened for over 2 years now. I turned my husband into one of your biggest fans too. <br /><br />Please know that you inspire us and make us want to strive to be the best we can be. I am not a perfect wife. I am not a perfect mother. But through you, I know when I need to change my thinking or actions and ''grow some balls". You helped my husband and I learn to be boyfriend and girlfriend again. And it is amazing. <br /><br />I always think if someone was to say to me ''<em>you can pick whatever job you wish, so what will it be?</em>" I would without a doubt pick to work for you. Most would choose the job with the best pay or highest status. Nope, not me. How amazing would it be to actually work for someone you admire, respect, and strive to be like? <br /><br />You rock DrL. We love you!<br /><br />Take care, <br /><br />Krissy<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you and your husband treat each other? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-26T18:57:00Z
After 22 Years, We're Still Dating
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/After-22-Years,-Were-Still-Dating/-300366081722513979.html
2017-01-25T18:58:00Z
2017-01-25T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Although my husband and I have had some dry spells in the bedroom, we've never stopped courting each other. <br /><br />We sit and drink wine on the couch and talk for hours with no t.v. or distractions. We go out on romantic dinners. We cook fabulous meals together while listening to Frank Sinatra. We play card games. We compliment each other daily. We know couples who light the sheets on fire , and have zero passion and intimacy. <br /><br />I'm proud to say that after 22 years, I'm still in the dating phase with my favorite person on earth.<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you and your husband treat each other? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-25T18:58:00Z
The Meaning Of Intimacy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Meaning-Of-Intimacy/-783103128202547813.html
2017-01-25T18:57:00Z
2017-01-25T18:57:00Z
<p><br />My husband and I celebrated our 50th Anniversary last summer and the intimacy still keeps the love alive. Young people think intimacy means only sex. Well, I have news for them... <br /><br />Intimacy means listening, sharing and understanding the desires of one another's hearts!<br /> <br /><br /><br />What do you think intimacy means? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-25T18:57:00Z
First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/First-Comes-Love,-Then-Comes-Marriage.../928577723860617372.html
2017-01-24T18:58:00Z
2017-01-24T18:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />This morning, a story was posted about a newborn baby wearing a onesie that read "<em>Mommie will you marry my Daddy?</em>" The title of the article was "<em>Sweet Proposal</em>" and I was so disgusted that I had to comment on the page. I said that the family had the timeline of events all wrong. It's amazing how angry people became and suggested that I was imposing my standards onto others.<br /> <br />Actually, what's <strong>really amazing </strong>is that they think that "<em>first comes love then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage</em>" is an idea that I came up with out of the clear blue. I feel sorry for this child and for other children who are brought into families with uncommitted parents. What lessons about morality, self-respect, and commitment will they learn in their houses? <br /><br />Thank you for continuing to encourage others to do the right thing. It's especially important in a world where the right thing is becoming more and more of an ancient tale rather than a present guide to how we live our everyday lives. <br /><br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/phixmveqlhm22.jpg" alt="" /><br /><br /><br />What do you think of this proposal? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-24T18:58:00Z
The Wisdom of a Grandmother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Wisdom-of-a-Grandmother/-738061051524192137.html
2017-01-24T18:57:00Z
2017-01-24T18:57:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My Grandmother once told me a story about how to tell a City girl from a Country girl. You wait till the wind is blowing, she said. A "<em>Country</em>" girl will hold down her skirt. A "<em>City</em>" girl will hold down her hair. <br /><br />I believe she was illustrating the difference in values among women. And giving me a simple way to discern between the two. I'm so grateful to my Mom for giving this story.<br /><br /><br /><br />Has your parent ever given you a story or joke that helped you as an adult? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-24T18:57:00Z
Becoming a Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Becoming-a-Mother/762996568962059209.html
2017-01-23T18:58:00Z
2017-01-23T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I have been blessed with the most amazing daughter a mother could hope for. I thank GOD every day for her presence and pray for her future. I grew up with very loving parents, but I never experienced unconditional love until I had my daughter. <br /><br />I think having the opportunity to raise and mold a child from infancy into adulthood is a gift that should not be taken for granted. It is a gift that should be cherished. It is the most important responsibility and privilege. <br /><br /><br /><br />How did becoming a parent make you feel? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-23T18:58:00Z
Out of Sight, Out of Mind
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Out-of-Sight,-Out-of-Mind/334505910592138256.html
2017-01-23T18:57:00Z
2017-01-23T18:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />The little moments you can have with your child can't happen unless you are THERE all day, raising your children. My favorite moments were dinner around the table, talking about the highlights of our day, and then later watching my 3-year-old's face in awe as I blew bubbles with my gum. She love to pop them on my face. That one wasn't a big moment but it was a memorable one-- watching her stare at me like I was some sort of hero for being able to blow a big bubble and then hearing her sweet giggle when it popped. <br /><br />That wouldn't have happened if I was at work all day or came home too tired and frazzled to play silly games and pay attention to her. Thank you Dr. Laura for giving me the support to enjoy the gift that is our children's childhood. You make more of a difference than you'll ever know.<br /><br /> <br /><br />What is your favorite memory of your child? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-23T18:57:00Z
Don't Learn The Hard Way
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dont-Learn-The-Hard-Way/935400880574718615.html
2017-01-20T18:58:00Z
2017-01-20T18:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I heard you say 10 years ago to not seek out estranged, lost, or unknown birth parents. I remember you specifically saying "<em>Let sleeping dogs lie</em>." <br /><br />We thought we would be the exception to the rule when trying the reach out to a birth father that left when we were very young. We are now adults with families. In this digital age, we found him five years ago. It was a perfect reunion. That's what I thought at least. <br /> <br />Within no time, he had disappeared out of our lives and left our kids with questions. We caused the cycle to continue! Please remind your listeners, don't go looking for answers from those that procreate but can't be real parental figures. Don't learn the hard way.<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you made contact with a long lost relative? What happened? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-20T18:58:00Z
You Can Survive, You Can Grow
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Can-Survive,-You-Can-Grow/-763376715248498329.html
2017-01-20T18:57:00Z
2017-01-20T18:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was listening to your show today and a woman called regarding the pain she felt for the loss of her child. We too lost a child and I know the pain all too well. <br /><br />After our loss, I would write down memories and thoughts about our daughter. Some of the thoughts turned into a poem. Then the poem turned to a song. I turned my words and rough melody into a beautiful memory of my child. As you know, we all must deal with these things differently. This was just one part of the healing process, but an important part for me. <br /><br />Twelve years later, one of my hobbies is song writing. Each song reminds me of her. I am an accountant by trade with no musical training. This is my most recent songs and I thought you might enjoy it as it is about therapy well, Beach Butt Therapy. <br /><br />I guess I would want people to know they can survive. They can thrive and even grow from the loss, if they don't allow the pain to consume their lives forever. I listen to your show almost every day and truly enjoy the advice and entertainment your show provides. <br /><br /><br /> <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/4sFZGafK0Hk" frameborder="0"></iframe><br /><br /><br /><br />How do you cope with loss? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-20T18:57:00Z
Discipline Is About Structure
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Discipline-Is-About-Structure/-671314102453105641.html
2017-01-19T18:58:00Z
2017-01-19T18:58:00Z
<p><br />This is just my personal opinion and philosophy, as a mom that raised two kids. I think when children live generally undisciplined lives, they think that the world owes them something. They don't empathize with others. <br /><br />If a parent chooses to discipline, they should do so consistently, fairly, and with the intent of producing results or a change in behavior. Discipline hurts. We all experience it. Living a disciplined life produces a child that understands what it feels like to not to get their way. <br /><br />Discipline isn't only about time out or nose in the corner. It's about structure! Bath time, bedtime at a consistent time, cleaning up after play, taking care of pets, even doing homework. It's a way of life.<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you feel about discipline and your child? Send an email and share! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-19T18:58:00Z
Standing Up For Families And Healthy Lives
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Standing-Up-For-Families-And-Healthy-Lives/659661328168953569.html
2017-01-19T18:57:00Z
2017-01-19T18:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Thank you for deeply impacting my life. I spoke with you 9 years ago. I was having difficulty drawing healthy boundaries with my loving, but emotionally unhealthy, parents and sister. <br /><br />Our talk allowed me to take a few steps back and focus on my own life. I am now married with three young children. Last year, I came across your book "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Praise-Stay-at-Home-Moms-Laura-Schlessinger/dp/B0058M5RD0" target="_blank">In Praise of the Stay at Home Mom</a></em>". It has helped solidify my joy and confidence in staying at home to raise my children, despite opposing opinions. <br /><br />I am now reading "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Marriage/dp/0061142824/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1484872149&sr=1-1&keywords=Proper+Care+%26+Feeding+of+Marriage" target="_blank">The Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage</a></em>" and "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_2?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=0060520620&pd_rd_r=9Y2AYM4807RZNRNEFSAP&pd_rd_w=rrnpU&pd_rd_wg=e2dNt&psc=1&refRID=9Y2AYM4807RZNRNEFSAP" target="_blank">The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands</a></em>". Thank you so much for standing up for families and healthy lives. Even when it is "<em>unpopular</em>". I truly appreciate your strong voice and guidance in such interesting times. <br /><br />With deep gratitude, <br /><br />Jen<br /><br /><br /><br />Are you a stay at home mom? Did you have problems with opposing opinions when you were pregnant? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-19T18:57:00Z
Taking A Bad Situation And Turning It Around
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-A-Bad-Situation-And-Turning-It-Around/-237829978088186939.html
2017-01-18T18:58:00Z
2017-01-18T18:58:00Z
<p><br />My daughter spoke to you back around June. She was pregnant with twins and unmarried. She was considering adoption as she felt she was unable to raise them by herself. You, of course, told her if she did that, she would be your hero. <br /><br />Well, I am happy to report that she had two healthy babies and found a wonderful home for them. Although it was extremely difficult, I kept telling her that it was in the baby's best interests to have a mom and a dad. She knew in her heart it was the correct thing to do. <br /><br />We cried lots of tears through the process. I think the encouragement you gave her really helped. I just wanted to say thank you. My daughter took a bad situation and turned it around and saved two baby's lives. I am so proud of her.<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever had to do the right thing, even if you knew it was going to be difficult? Send an email and share! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-18T18:58:00Z
I Hung In And Made It Work
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Hung-In-And-Made-It-Work/-570350849402535825.html
2017-01-18T18:57:00Z
2017-01-18T18:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Twenty-five years ago I moved 1,000 miles away, all by myself. It wasn't scary for me, until I arrived in San Diego. I realized that I didn't have a home, a job, and didn't know my way around. My aunt made it worse by discouraging me. She kept telling me that finding a job was hard and I would just have to go on welfare. At one point it crossed my mind to turn around and go back where I came from. <br /><br />As scary as it was, as vulnerable as I felt, I hung in there and made it work. Less than a month later everything fell into place. I am glad that I stayed. Since I have moved, so many wonderful things have happened. It was all worth it. <br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever found yourself in a hard spot? How did you get though? Send an email and share! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-18T18:57:00Z
'Just Say No'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Just-Say-No/-642203539245886451.html
2017-01-17T18:58:00Z
2017-01-17T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />While listening to some of the callers the other day, it made me think about when I realized the power of saying "no".<br /><br /><span>When I first realized that a lot of the problems in my life were created by me and my inability to say no,I was floored. I literally had to write just "<em>just say no</em>" on the inside of my front door and on the back of my phone. It looked a little nuts, but it worked. <br /></span><br /><br /><br />Do you have any personal tips to help others learn new habits a little easier? Send an email and share! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-17T18:58:00Z
Kids vs. Restaurants
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Kids-vs.-Restaurants/-710577199461023132.html
2017-01-17T18:57:00Z
2017-01-17T18:57:00Z
<p><br />I often took my young children to restaurants. I had one simple rule. If they were uncomfortable, I would take them for a walk outside. <br /><br />Young children have very little control over their life. They are not consulted before being engaged in my activities. The only power they have is to act out. They learned that their parents were sensitive to their needs and looked for alternatives to unproductive power struggles. <br /><br />The owner of one restaurant "<em>adopted</em>" my twins because they were so well behaved. I am sure that many other children were banished from their restaurant.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Did you have any special parenting rules? Send an email and share with us! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-17T18:57:00Z
Enjoy This Beautiful Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Enjoy-This-Beautiful-Life/-241285697032859188.html
2017-01-16T18:58:00Z
2017-01-16T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Happy birthday Dr. Laura! <br /><br />You are a great woman, who saves people every day for this difficult world. I hope you took some extra time for you on this special birthday and relaxed. <br /><br />Although, I don't have Sirius radio anymore, you are still in my thoughts every day. I used to sit during chemo and listen to you. You gave me strength, wisdom, and love. For that, I am truly thankful. I still brag that I received flowers from you after my cancer diagnosis! Your flowers were a great surprise and so thoughtful. Thank you for making me smile in my darkest days. <br /><br />Thank you for always being there and telling the truth, even when it's hard for us to hear it. Love you and I am wishing you many more birthdays. <br /><br />Smile, relax, and enjoy this beautiful life. <br /><br /><br /><br />Did you want to say Happy Birthday to Dr. Laura? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-16T18:58:00Z
Dr. Laura National Holiday
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dr.-Laura-National-Holiday/-427715399426724132.html
2017-01-16T18:57:00Z
2017-01-16T18:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I hope that you have a magnificent birthday! In my opinion, it should be a Dr. Laura National Holiday. You should also get the <a href="http://time.com/4589502/person-of-the-year-2016-shortlist/" target="_blank">Time magazine Person of the Year award</a>, in honor of all the children you have protected over the years. You have been fighting to keep families together. You have Helped so many parents make the smart decision to have a stay at home parent. <br /><br />Your courage, cheerful demeanor, dignity, class, and strength is such an encouragement to me and millions of other women. I am heartbroken for you that the past 14 months have been so difficult for you. <br /><br />You have been a wonderful example, sometimes without even knowing. No matter what critics have said in the past, present, or future, my wish for you today and always, is to know how deep of a National TREASURE you are to me and to many other people!! <br /><br />Enjoy your Birthday!!<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you want to wish Dr. Laura a happy birthday? Send an email! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-16T18:57:00Z
My Dad Made My Day
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Dad-Made-My-Day/-531468503725851935.html
2017-01-13T18:58:00Z
2017-01-13T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I remember a particular moment in high school that still makes my heart melt. My dad was a hard worker. He would work 16-18 hours a day as a tower crane operator. At the time I was on the high school cheerleading team practicing for competition at 5-7am daily and cheering at basketball games every Friday night. <br /><br />Because he worked so much, he rarely if ever saw me cheer. One day he went to work late and came in to watch practice. Just knowing how hard that was that was for him meant everything for me. He was going to miss a couple of hours of sleep JUST to see my practice. Most parents didn't even bother to come to games. My dad was interested in what I was doing and proud of my accomplishments. That meant more to me than anything. <br /><br /><br /><br />Have your parents ever surprised you? How did you feel? Send us an email and share! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-13T18:58:00Z
How I Taught My Boys To Be Men
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Taught-My-Boys-To-Be-Men/783791948624434103.html
2017-01-13T18:57:00Z
2017-01-13T18:57:00Z
<p><br />I started my little men training when they were young. I had four boys and two girls. Since the boys came first, they learned to do dishes, household chores and babysitting! <br /><br />I understood they were still boys. As boys, sometimes things got done a little differently. When they were little they had dolls and figurines. Most of the time the dolls became passengers in a truck or victims of an attack. There is a difference in how they play. When my girls came along, they actually played house with the kitchen set we bought for the boys and mothered their "babies." <br /><br />The three who are married and have kids are awesome dads and help around the house. One of my sons, the burly one with the tattoos, was the stay at home parent for many years while his wife worked. He just lets them be boys and appreciate the fact that they are boys. He also teaches them respect for women by having them do some housework and cooking. Most importantly, to love them.<br /><br />My boys love their mom, but I do insist they love their wives more. I have always encouraged them to put their marriages first.<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have any tips for other parents? Send us an email and share! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-13T18:57:00Z
Easing Bedtime Fears
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Easing-Bedtime-Fears/887630805590857759.html
2017-01-12T18:58:00Z
2017-01-12T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />When my daughter was little, she was afraid there might me a monster under the bed. In a moment of what I thought was pure brilliant parenting, I explained that we could never have monsters under the bed because we have a dog. "<em>Monsters never come to houses with dogs because all monsters know that dogs eat them.</em>" <br /><br />My daughter slept soundly until about 6 months later when our dog unexpectedly died. Not only was our family heartbroken but my daughter was terrified to sleep. She moved her mattress onto the floor in her sister's room and slept there until we got a new puppy.<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have any tips for other parents? Send us an email and share! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-12T18:58:00Z
My Men
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Men/27654624401241315.html
2017-01-12T18:57:00Z
2017-01-12T18:57:00Z
<p><br />Hello Dr. Laura,<br /><br /> A few days ago I was listening as you asked woman why she would marry a man who thought it was okay to participate in talking bad about women with his buddies. I thought about my own son. He would never do that or allow it to happen. <br /><br />I thought back to when he was 17 and had started talking back to me. His father walked in as he was talking, and firmly placed him against the wall for a "<em>talk</em>". Thank goodness I had just listened to you earlier. You had said: "<em>It takes a man to turn a boy into a man</em>". so I bit my tongue and walked away as my husband turned my boy into the wonderful man he is today. <br /><br />Fast forward to today, he is married and a father. He defends his wife and has her back, even when it isn't easy. Thanks for those tidbits of wisdom you have dispersed over the years that helped me allow my Man turn our son into a Man. <br /><br /><br /><br />How did you turn your son into a man? Send us an email and share! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-12T18:57:00Z
Now I Know They Were Listening
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Now-I-Know-They-Were-Listening/451243395858831381.html
2017-01-11T18:58:00Z
2017-01-11T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I just read your subject of the day and have to share. It was Christmas eve and I was excited anxiously waiting for my son to get home from college. He was a little later than I anticipated. When he did get home, he told me he had stopped to help a family's car that had slid off the road. <br /><br />That warmed my heart and was the best gift I could have received from him. He made me very proud! Thanks to all your advice, I give them small idea's to help others and now I know they were listening.<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you know your kids are actually listening? Send us an email and share! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-11T18:58:00Z
The Signs
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Signs/-453101419653896717.html
2017-01-11T18:57:00Z
2017-01-11T18:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Your email today asked for people who have been with manipulators to relate what some signs of manipulation were. I wish I had known to look for these things when I was young. <br /><br /></p>
<ol>
<li><strong>I felt that I was the chosen one.</strong> I was good enough to be with him when no one else was. I felt special! It didn't seem to matter to me that he treated me very poorly. </li>
<br />
<li><strong>I became isolated from friends and family. </strong>I could never betray my loyalty to him by discussing him with anyone else who cared for me because, "<em>no one else would understand</em>." </li>
<br />
<li><strong>I felt like I was never good enough.</strong> When I became the type of woman that he said he admired, he no longer respected me. I could never enough to be what he truly admired. The target moved so that I was always chasing it, and never good enough. </li>
<br />
<li><strong>The lying was constant.</strong> I knew something was wrong the second or third time I realized that I had believed things that turned out to be false. He was great at sustaining an explanation of events and circumstances that only a long time later would be revealed as lies. </li>
</ol>
<p><br />I am grateful that I escaped before I was irrevocably lost. I hope others can learn from this. <br /><br /></p>
<p><br />Have you had an experience with a manipulative person? Send us an email and tell us about it. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-01-11T18:57:00Z
Good things Come to Those Who Wait
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Good-things-Come-to-Those-Who-Wait/-920110220976185655.html
2017-01-10T18:58:00Z
2017-01-10T18:58:00Z
<p><br />You often warn young people of marrying too young. I have a couple of examples why it's a good idea to wait. <br /><br />I had befriended a couple of these older women, they were both 26-years-old and had been married since their early twenties. I remember initially thinking they were mature, responsible women, who were adored by their husbands. I was also secretly jealous of my friends since their lives seemed a lot easier than mine; as a single, 23-year-old trying to find her way.</p>
<ol>
<li>One day the three of us went out to lunch. These two friends got excited when they discovered they had something in common: they hated having sex with their husbands! They both complained and giggled at the fact that they were bad wives. I immediately turned to them and said "<em>If I was your husband, I would cheat on you!</em>" They both laughed it off and insisted when I was married, I would understand. Fast forward 6 years later: they are both divorced. The reason? Both husbands cheated. Luckily no children were involved in either marriage. </li>
<br />
<li>I am still close with one of the women. At 32-years-old, she has never had a job and is not doing anything to change that. It is as if she is going through her early 20's again. She's crying, scared and repeating "<em>I don't know who I am or what kind of career I should choose?</em>" It has been frustrating for me watch her cry and avoid entering the work force. But then I remind myself that I have 10 years' experience surviving on my own, while she has 6 months of surviving on alimony. </li>
</ol>
<p><br />My jealousy has now completely evaporated for these women. Without realizing it, going out into the scary world paid off for me in the end. I have a career, as well as a man, who will swim through shark infested waters to bring me lemonade. <br /><br />Thank you for all of your guidance through the years. <br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever heard something noteworthy from Dr. Laura? Send us an email and share! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-01-10T18:58:00Z
Dealing with Transitions
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dealing-with-Transitions/-568937135774008281.html
2017-01-10T18:57:00Z
2017-01-10T18:57:00Z
<p><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br />As a regular listener, I've been paying particular attention to the advice you've given callers that are dealing with later-in-life changes. In the past 18 months I've had both of my children move out on their own, I've had a double mastectomy, then I lost my job after 28 years. I'm fine but trying to figure out what's next. I loved your question, '<em>between now and dead how do you want to live?</em>' <br /><br />That was such a helpful, straightforward way to think about what I needed to do. I so appreciate the advice you've given callers. Thank you again for your invaluable help!<br /><br /><br /><br /></span>How do you deal with change in life? Send us an email and share! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-01-10T18:57:00Z
Switching My Focus
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Switching-My-Focus/932779004358747405.html
2017-01-09T18:58:00Z
2017-01-09T18:58:00Z
<p><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br /><br /> </span></p>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_ym19_1_1483991988346_4874">Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been listening to you every day on the way home from work, for at least the past year. I really enjoy listening to your point of view. There have been many situations in my life that I have been able to processes and accept, with the help of your advice.<br /><br />In some instances, I know that we have made the right decision, even if it hurts. I just wanted to share something with you. A while ago, you said that something that made such an impact with me that I actually stopped what I was doing just to type it into my cell phone. You said: "<em>Fill your life and your mind with 'what is'. Too many people mess up 'what is' with what they wish they could have, they don't enjoy the 'what is' half as much.</em>" Wow!<br /><br /> I read that over and over and over again. It brings so much comfort. It reminds me that I need to continue to seek out the blessings in my life rather than dwell on the loss and negativity that has also been a part of our life. We have so much to be thankful for. Even though I have loss in my heart, I need to focus on the "<em>what is</em>" rather than "<em>what will never be</em>". <br /><br />Thank you for that reminder. Happy 2017--may it bring you and your family many blessings.<br /><br /><br /> </div>
<span>Have you ever heard something noteworthy from Dr. Laura? </span> Send us an email and share! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-01-09T18:58:00Z
The Things That Give Me Peace
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Things-That-Give-Me-Peace/-951235542497263561.html
2017-01-09T18:57:00Z
2017-01-09T18:57:00Z
<p><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />In October 2016 my husband Terry, after a 45 year marriage, died from cancer. He fought for 2 years but couldn't be saved. <br /><br />What gives me peace is having two wonderful granddaughters who carry his genes, a loving daughter and friends who care. Peace to me is seeing his pictures, smelling him on clothes I kept when I walk by the closet and just knowing what a loving wonderful life we really did have. I appreciate the little things around me, hearing the birds, sunny days, friendly phone calls, and listening to your show makes me know that I was fortunate to have had him in my life for all those years. <br /><br />We fought to save him, but being a retired fire chief, he knew that his job was the cause of illness. He was happy to have served for 33 years and to have saved so many lives. He wasn't scared. He was at peace that he had done his duty. He could pass at peace. So life goes on, I will carry on his duties and help others like he did it. <br /><br />We both listened to your show and love it. <br /><br />Thank you for being you. <br /><br /><br />How do you find peace after the loss of someone special? Send us an email and share! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</span></p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-01-09T18:57:00Z
A REAL Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-REAL-Marriage/-293615999433927629.html
2017-01-06T18:58:00Z
2017-01-06T18:58:00Z
<p><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was speaking to a 13-year-old recently when she said she was really excited to go to HER FIRST REAL wedding. <br /><br />I asked her what a real wedding was and she replied: "<em>oh, you know one where they don't have kids already or are pregnant and have to get married. You know one where two people just want to get married.</em>" <br /><br />Keep preaching, teaching, and nagging! Real weddings used to be normal and now they are so rare that they are exciting to this generation, even in religious circles. It just shows us how far things have gone and what we have exposed our children to. It is so utterly sad to me that often I feel like I'm from another planet. I honor your resolve to continue to push us towards doing the right thing. <br /><br />Blessings always, <br /><br />Sue<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever heard something noteworthy from a kid? Send us an email and share! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</span></p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-01-06T18:58:00Z
Mom And Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mom-And-Dr.-Laura/846015476957562238.html
2017-01-06T18:57:00Z
2017-01-06T18:57:00Z
<p><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My mother and I always enjoyed your show. Your morals, values, and daily lessons were a source of conversation between us for years. Your teaching meant so much to my mother, as she was a stay at home mom to her 10 children for the first 25 years of her marriage.<br /><br /> Sadly, she had to rejoin the workforce after my father past away. I had the blessing of a stay at home mom for the first 12 years of my life. My father's passing was hard on the family, but the example my mother set without having to use mood altering drugs, babysitters or welfare assistance, proved keeping the family first was number one for my mother. <br /><br />Once we were grown, she traveled with her loyal girlfriend, loved to dance and lived a happy healthy productive life. I lost touch with your show throughout her illness. Recently, I found you again! Even though I miss my mom every day and the void in my life may never be filled, when I put on your show, I feel her presence with me. <br /><br />I wanted you to know, she was your biggest fan Dr. Laura! <br /><br />Thank you, <br /><br />A Grateful Listener!<br /><br /><br /><br />What advice keeps you grounded? Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</span></p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-01-06T18:57:00Z
Accept Your Mother, How She Is
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Accept-Your-Mother,-How-She-Is/-322332985564945736.html
2017-01-05T18:58:00Z
2017-01-05T18:58:00Z
<p><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br /><br />I wanted to thank you for what you told another new mother, over 20 years ago. I have remembered this and have repeated it to many women, since it helped me so much. <br /><br />A young mother called in to say how disappointed in her mom she was, because she wasn't the grandmother that she thought her child would have. Neither she, nor her child, were neglected but the grandmother was disinterested in them. You told the young mother to picture herself sitting at the kitchen table. There is an apple on the table. It is perfectly fine apple, but you want an orange. You can wish, cry, or beg, but it will always be just an apple.<br /><br /> Accept your mother how she is. She has always been like that and always will be. I have applied that way of thinking too many aspects of my life; especially with my own mother. It has helped to keep me grounded. <br /><br />THANK YOU! <br /><br /><br /><br />What advice keeps you grounded? Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</span></p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-01-05T18:58:00Z
My Best Gift From This Past Holiday
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Best-Gift-From-This-Past-Holiday/412945318028477035.html
2017-01-05T18:57:00Z
2017-01-05T18:57:00Z
<p><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura: I hope you had a wonderful holiday with your kids. Happy New Year! I just wanted to share with you my best Christmas Gift of all. <br /><br />We do Christmas <strong>big</strong> in our home. We usually have a 14-foot real tree, lots of lovely gifts and a feast shared with the family. This morning, as my husband was returning to work, he came and kissed me. Then he said, "<em>I enjoyed spending the week with you.</em>" <br /><br />He is not one to show his feelings. His "<em>statement</em>" was the best gift I received this Christmas! I have picked an amazing, hardworking, family-centered man and will always be grateful for his love! Have a great day! <br /><br />With love...<br /><br />A Faithful 25 Year Listener<br /><br /><br /></span></p>
What was your best gift this year? Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-01-05T18:57:00Z
I Do Not Regret Choosing My Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Do-Not-Regret-Choosing-My-Kids/-52584092360985536.html
2017-01-04T18:58:00Z
2017-01-04T18:58:00Z
<p><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br />Both my 12-year-old daughter and her 19-year-old brother grew up with Dr. Laura on the car radio whenever I'd pick them up from school in the afternoons. Thank you for conveying the lessons that I was teaching at home, with that much more authority! Listen to mom? Maybe. Listen to Dr. Laura on the radio? You bet! <br /><br />I also want to thank you for helping me feel so much better about becoming a stay-at-home mom nearly 20 years ago. Once I saw my newborn baby boy for the first time, there was no way I was going to leave him behind for my work. No matter how exciting, rewarding, and financially lucrative work was, he was better. A switch inside of me was irreversibly thrown and I became a stay-at-mommy in heart and in deed. <br /><br />Thank you, though, for making me feel good about it when everyone else but my husband and parents told me that I was wasting my talents. It was difficult for this '<em>type A</em>', ambitious woman to let go of my corporate identity, but I have NEVER regretted it. <br /><br /><br /></span></p>
What have you let go of for your family? If you'd like to share your story, sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-01-04T18:58:00Z
Thanks For The Reminder
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thanks-For-The-Reminder/626668461614135639.html
2017-01-04T18:57:00Z
2017-01-04T18:57:00Z
<p><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br />I signed back up this morning for your podcasts and I have to say with in the first 5 minutes of your show I was already filled with love. <br /><br />I am listening to a show from the other day and sent the following message to five of my dear friends. (Each of these friends I have known and loved for a minimum of 5 years up to 20 years.) <br /><em> </em></span></p>
<blockquote><em>"I recently heard a study that shows that the number of good friends a person has, that they share important life issues, with has dropped in the past twenty years. These relationships are very important, more important than working out and so forth. <br /><br />I just wanted to say that I may suck at working out on a regular basis but I am so happy that I have good friends are you are at the top of the list. Just wanted to say thank you for being my dear friend for so many years and I love you very much."</em></blockquote>
<br />I feel very blessed to have all 5 of these amazing women in my life and my man at my side. <br /><br />Thanks for the reminder.
<p> </p>
<br />What do you do to show your friends that you care?. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-01-04T18:57:00Z
My Children Impress Me All The Time
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Children-Impress-Me-All-The-Time/132605558270399889.html
2017-01-03T18:58:00Z
2017-01-03T18:58:00Z
<p><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br /><br />A recent reader told how impressed she was with her 15-year-old daughter who had worked her butt off to avoid being demoted from advanced math back to regular math. All three of my children impress me all the time: <br /><br /> </span></p>
<ul>
<li><em><strong>My Oldest Son:</strong></em> Wonderful father, husband. W<span style="font-size: 12px;">hen he takes his son and their boy scout troop camping all the time. He even takes his younger daughter hiking in the mountains so they can spend time together. </span></li>
<br />
<li><em><strong>Daughter:</strong></em> Mother of two boys and she runs her own horse business!</li>
<br />
<li><em><strong>Youngest Son:</strong></em> Stay at home dad, nurtures his three young sons beautifully! And is married to a hard working physician. </li>
</ul>
<br />I am so blessed!!<br /><br /><br /><br />What made you feel blessed this holiday season?. If you'd like to share your story, sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2017-01-03T18:58:00Z
I Was Mesmerized
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Was-Mesmerized/161696335572766763.html
2017-01-03T18:57:00Z
2017-01-03T18:57:00Z
<p><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br /><br />I took the day after Christmas for me and had wanted to check out a movie you suggested, '<em><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2380331/" target="_blank">Words and Pictures</a></em>'. I never sit through a home movie without pausing it to get something to drink or nibble on, but I was unable to leave this one. <br /><br />I was so mesmerized by the messages, the acting and the beauty, that I found myself wishing that I could discuss it with you. I spent many years battling alcohol. I found that part of the movie was excruciating; I was actually begging him out loud not to do it, not to destroy and waste his incredible gifts! I sat sobbing for a good while after. <br /><br />I have never called in to the show. However, I listen regularly and learn SO MUCH!. Please continue to share the movies you find worthwhile. <br /><br />Thanks for being you. <br /><br /><br /><br /></span>Do you have a movie suggestion for Dr. Laura?. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2017-01-03T18:57:00Z
Thank You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You/516980294701936456.html
2016-12-16T18:57:00Z
2016-12-16T18:57:00Z
<p><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been a listener for over 20 years. I am a psychologist and family therapist in private practice for the past 40+ years. I request that all my patients listen to your show and subscribe to your web services, as well as read your books. <br /><br />This has not only proved very helpful to my patients as individuals, couples and families, but obviously made my job of treating them easier and more fruitful. I just wanted you to know how appreciated you are by your fellow professionals. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Les<br /><br /><br /><br /></span>Have you ever learned a lesson from a mentor?. If you'd like to share your story, sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-12-16T18:57:00Z
Red Flags
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Red-Flags/996012624109824386.html
2016-12-16T18:57:00Z
2016-12-16T18:57:00Z
<p><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br />Before I married my ex-husband, I knew deep inside something was wrong. He looked at other women and actually asked me if I thought he could "<em>get them</em>"...<strong>RED FLAG</strong>. <br /><br />I was so needy, thinking I was stupid and ugly. I thought he was "<em>the guy</em>" to get, so I clung on thinking he was my way to success in life. I planned to get away and divorce him before kids, but I got pregnant and stayed for the next 12 years. I was thinking, hoping, and praying things would change. <br /><br />Things only changed when I finally changed and stopped the madness! Pay attention to the red flags! <br /><br />I love you and your dog Mikey is so cute! <br /><br />Thanks for helping me all of these years, <br /><br />Rebecca<br /><br /><br /><br /></span><span>Have you ever started a relationship that deep down you knew you shouldn't have?</span> If you'd like to share your story, sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-12-16T18:57:00Z
Learning Lessons
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-Lessons/448474041526686421.html
2016-12-15T18:58:00Z
2016-12-15T18:58:00Z
<p><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br /><br />I was so glad to hear you say that you don't like to hear, "<em>I'm sorry for your loss.</em>" The loss means you had something wonderful for all of the years before. I learned this lesson once when I was working for a very observant man. <br /><br />His beloved uncle and mentor died on his 90th birthday. Almost without exception, the reactions he got when he told people of his loss was, "<em>What a blessing!</em>". They definitely had a "<em>glass half full</em>" approach to it. I've never forgotten that. <br /><br />Thanks for all you do. <br /><br /><br /></span>Have you ever learned a life lesson from a mentor?. If you'd like to share your story, sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-12-15T18:58:00Z
I Just Laughed When I Saw This
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Just-Laughed-When-I-Saw-This/66102529763812119.html
2016-12-15T18:57:00Z
2016-12-15T18:57:00Z
<p><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br />I chuckled when I read this. It looks like it could have been written by Dr. Laura herself. 60 years ago. Just had to share! <br /><br />Faithful listener, <br /><br />Julie<br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/brdsvbfgjr.jpg" alt="" /><br /><br /><br /><br /></span>Have you seen something that made you laugh and think of Dr. Laura? Share it with her, sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-12-15T18:57:00Z
Because Of Them, I Have The Life I Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Because-Of-Them,-I-Have-The-Life-I-Love/479628046664707469.html
2016-12-14T18:58:00Z
2016-12-14T18:58:00Z
<p><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just wanted to send a quick note to say thank you for bringing <a href="https://operationfamilyfund.org/" target="_blank">Operation Family Fund</a> to my attention. <br /><br />I have been very blessed in my life with marriage to my best friend and two amazing, kind adult children who I adore. One of my children has married and even made me a grandmother this past year! She is now a stay at home mom! We are a family who love and respect one another. We have fun with our family traditions and enjoy each other's company. I appreciate every day; it is a true gift. <br /><br />I listen to your program regularly on my way home from work and often find myself recalling your advice during the course of my daily life. I love and respect your style and sense of humor. I recently <a href="https://operationfamilyfund.org/donation-form/" target="_blank">made a donation</a> to Operation Family Fund, because unlike these soldiers and their families, my life has been safe. My life is partially like this due to their service. Now I have a chance to say thank you to them and to you. <br /><br />Best Wishes for a wonderful holiday season, <br /><br />Lisa<br /><br /><br /><br /></span>If you'd like to help and make a donation or you need assistance from Operation Family Fund, just click <a href="https://operationfamilyfund.org/" target="_blank">here</a>. If you'd like to share your story, sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-12-14T18:58:00Z
A Life Lesson For Us All
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Life-Lesson-For-Us-All/406589922986577977.html
2016-12-14T18:57:00Z
2016-12-14T18:57:00Z
<p><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Your recent intro about your math experience brought to mind a situation our 15-year-old daughter experienced last year, in 8th grade. She was in the higher math class and struggling. I got a phone call from her math teacher who explained the situation and was contemplating moving our daughter to the lower math group. <br /><br />When talking to our daughter, at first there were tears. Then a determination set in for her to turn it around. She went to school early, stayed late and basically worked her tail off for 7 months! She received an A- at the end of the year and was quite pleased that her efforts paid off. The real bonus for her, and us, was in reading what her beloved math teacher wrote in her yearbook: <em>"Caroline, you are an inspiration to me. You are the hardest working student I have ever had." </em><br /><br />These words come in handy whenever she struggles with a new subject or concept. As a parent we are expected to love our children. Those 7 months I stood in awe of her. It was a life lesson for the entire family. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br />Mary<br /><br /><br /><br /></span></span></span>Has your child ever REALLY impressed you? Tell us how and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-12-14T18:57:00Z
Knowing When It's Best to Move On
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Knowing-When-Its-Best-to-Move-On/180861824417129333.html
2016-12-13T18:58:00Z
2016-12-13T18:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br /><br /><br />As a teenager, I thought I was ready to be in a relationship with my boyfriend. I had to break off the relationship when he began trying to push me into marriage. <br /><br />We were not dating enough time to even think about marriage. He was a very sweet guy and I loved how much he cared about people. Eventually his insecurities and neediness became a problem. What alarmed me is what he said before I considered breaking it off with him. He kept on saying over and over again that he would "<em>not know what</em>" to do if I ever left him. <br /><br />Sure enough, I ended up leaving him when I realized that I was in way over my head with him. I was too young and he was too needy. We both moved on and it really was the best for us. Time is necessary for love.<br /><br /><br /><br /></span></span></span>Have you ever had to move on from a relationship, knowing that it would be difficult? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-12-13T18:58:00Z
A Child's Thought Process
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Childs-Thought-Process/-224479153308517987.html
2016-12-13T18:57:00Z
2016-12-13T18:57:00Z
<p><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br /><br />I make it a point not to do my child's homework. I would only check my daughter's homework to make sure she that she actually did it. If I saw something wrong, we would discuss how she got the answer. This way, I could see were she was coming from. Usually just left it wrong, unless she wanted to change answer after we talked. <br /><br />Teachers would asked how did my daughter become so confident at a young age? I would say that we communicate about anything she had questions about and I would always willing to be open to hear her opinion. I learn a lot from my child's thought process that way! <br /><br /><br /><br /></span></span></span>Do you help with your kid's homework, or do you actually their work? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-12-13T18:57:00Z
THIS Should Be Celebrated
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/THIS-Should-Be-Celebrated/583460885857318224.html
2016-12-12T18:58:00Z
2016-12-12T18:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I wanted to express appreciation for your "<em>end of the year</em>" party. I am a Jehovah's Witness and as such, do not celebrate any holidays. <br /><br />As a result, due to my conscience, I do not attend end of the year holiday parties. They are typically holiday and Christmas oriented. This may make me appear "<em>stuck up</em>, <em>unappreciative</em>, or <em>unsocial</em>" from co-workers. It is not the case, but typically people will just make assumptions without actually asking for my input. <br /><br />So I appreciate your thoughtfulness with regards to wanting all to participate. It was great to see you creating an end of the year celebration that is focused on the hard work and accomplishment of goals throughout the year. This should be celebrated! It also helps to foster a team environment. <br /><br />I am sure there are many people on your team that appreciate your approach to the end of the year celebration, so that all may participate, regardless of religious or non-religious affiliation. <br /><br /><br /><br /></span></span></span>What are your holiday traditions and beliefs? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-12-12T18:58:00Z
We're Their Pets
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Were-Their-Pets/-816500013416469261.html
2016-12-12T18:57:00Z
2016-12-12T18:57:00Z
<p><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I started laughing when you mentioned that your dog is a stress adding dog. You had to pet him the correct way, otherwise he would walk away from you. This is so true! <br /><br />My miniature poodle, "Apple" is just like that. I can't touch her butt. If I do, she starts showing her teeth and gives me a warning growl. Eventually she just walks away.<br /><br /> Miniature poodles really are stressful animals, they think they're humans and we're their pets! But we still love them to death, go figure. <br /><br />Wishing you and your staff a wonderful Christmas and New Year! <br /><br /><br />Love, <br /><br />Ana your faithful listener of 25 years<br /> <br /><br /><br /></span></span></span>Do consider your pets your family? Tell us more about them and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-12-12T18:57:00Z
My Gap Year
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Gap-Year/754508860752868639.html
2016-12-09T18:57:00Z
2016-12-09T18:57:00Z
<p><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br />In 1964, I graduated high school and loved cars. I took a job in Chicago at a service station, so I could learn more about being a mechanic. I also took a night course or two at the local Junior College. <br /><br />My work week was Monday through Saturday, 7am until 6pm. That was 66 hours per week. My gap year taught me that I should pursue going to a university! <br /><br />I would encourage a gap year, only if the young person has to literally "<em>work their butt off</em>" at a job where they could potentially land, if they do not carry on with their education.<br /><br /><br /> <br /></span></span></span>What worked for you during this time in your life? School or time off? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-12-09T18:57:00Z
Thank You For The Reminder
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You-For-The-Reminder/-625615529903712520.html
2016-12-09T18:57:00Z
2016-12-09T18:57:00Z
<p><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br /><br />Thank you for reading <a href="/b/Bonding-Time/-944620888574173997.html" target="_blank">this email of the day</a>, it reassures me that I am my kids Mom and always there for them. I do pick up and take my high schooler to school and everywhere he wants to go, I DON'T mind. <br /><br />I'm here for them and that reason. I love to discuss things when he gets in the car from school. We talk about everything that is fresh on his mind. He knows he can talk to me about anything!! <br /><br />Thanks again!<br /><br />Jenny<br /><br /><br /> <br /></span></span>What reassures you that you are doing the right thing with your child? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-12-09T18:57:00Z
Taking Turns
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-Turns/-961566061822551151.html
2016-12-08T18:58:00Z
2016-12-08T18:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br /><br />There were 10 of us kids , so we took turns washing and drying dishes on alternating nights. Saturday, we girls vacuumed, or waxed and polished the floors. We also cleaned and polished all the shoes. We mowed, we swept. Whatever needed being done. ( I loved polishing the floors ) We also had to spring and fall clean our individual bedrooms. <br /><br />When we became teenagers, we were responsible for ironing our own clothes. My mother washed the floors and cleaned bathrooms everyday except on Sunday. Our house was always organized and immaculate. If we didn't do it right the first time, then we did it over and over until it was right. To this day , I am still a clean freak. <br /><br /> <br /></span></span></span>What were your chores as a kid? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-12-08T18:58:00Z
I Like Gap Years
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Like-Gap-Years/-224803108927196615.html
2016-12-08T18:57:00Z
2016-12-08T18:57:00Z
<p><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br /><br />I completely agree with Dr. Laura. Some teenagers lack the discipline to take a gap year. They'll get comfortable and too lazy to want to sign up for college. But it will be just fine for those who are disciplined. <br /><br />If parents force their kids into college right after high school, those same kids (the ones who aren't disciplined) may drop out because they lack the maturity and drive to stick to it. It worked for me to have a "<em>gap semester</em>" between high school and college. It wasn't a full year. It was just a little breather because high school is harder now than it was for us (I know because I teach it). It can be overwhelming to just go straight to college after all the hard work senior year. Breaks do help prevent burn-out. A teenager has to be emotionally mature enough to handle the responsibility of balancing a job, school, and study habits with the general running of every day life. <br /><br />I would just encourage a semester off. That should help. That way if they lack discipline, it's not too long of a time to get too comfortable and not want to go back. It worked for me. I successfully graduated college and am a teacher. <br /><br /><br /><br /></span></span></span>What your your thoughts on a gap year? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-12-08T18:57:00Z
Just Be Direct
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Just-Be-Direct/720309792776011824.html
2016-12-07T18:58:00Z
2016-12-07T18:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br /><br /><span><span>My husband has told me that he responds best when I'm just direct. He doesn't want to be perceived as a psychic. <br /><br />If I perceive something isn't happening that I want, like going out on a date, I should simply say: "<em>I wish we would spend mo</em></span></span><span><span><span><em>re time together. How about going out?</em>" To which he always responds: "<em>Sure!</em>" <br /><br />He isn't deliberately ignoring my needs. He is a man and has different needs and he can't always anticipate mine. So instead of my waiting for him to figure out my subtle hints, or crying because he's not getting it, I just get right to the point and he appreciates that!</span></span></span><br /><br /><br /> <br /></span></span></span>How do you and your spouse communicate? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-12-07T18:58:00Z
Communication is Everything
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Communication-is-Everything/-138175247595637004.html
2016-12-07T18:57:00Z
2016-12-07T18:57:00Z
<p><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br /><br /><span><span>Communication is everything. There was a time that I felt disrespected by someone on the job several years ago.<br /> <br />I was trying to communicate with her about one of our patients and she abruptly ended the call. I was thrown off by her hanging up on me. So, I left her a voicemail telling her that </span></span><span><span><span>I understood she was probably stressed out. <br /><br />Later on in the evening she called me and apologized and explained her situation. Needless to say, we both felt better about it afterwards.</span></span></span><br /><br /><br /> <br /></span></span></span>When someone steps on your toes, how do you handle it? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-12-07T18:57:00Z
My Little Entrepreneur
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Little-Entrepreneur/515176266803940911.html
2016-12-06T18:58:00Z
2016-12-06T18:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br /><br />As a child, I was always responsible for cleaning my own room and making my bed. I was also Responsible for dishes once a week, ever since I could remember! We all did what needed to be done.<br /><br />My child is responsible for his room, care of the cats, helping with the dishes as needed, recycling and he helps with dinner. He does so because it's expected as part of the family, not because it's a punishment or he is rewarded. He choose to take on the duties of dog poop patrol and he does get paid to do that. <br /><br />He's my "Little Entrepreneur" at 9 years old. He actually asked me to rent him a booth at the mall to sell hot cocoa. :)<br /><br /><br /> <br /></span></span></span>How do you instill pride in your kids? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-12-06T18:58:00Z
We Already Have a Dishwasher
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Already-Have-a-Dishwasher/461589653294923107.html
2016-12-06T18:58:00Z
2016-12-06T18:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br />I was responsible for doing the dishes 5 times a week, trimming the lawn and pulling weeds. I also cleaned the tiles in the kitchen. My brother did the dishes twice a week and mowed the lawn. We were trying to convince our step dad that we needed a dishwasher and his answer was that we already had two dish wagers...my brother and me. Lol. I don't remember our sister having any chores!<br /><br /><br /> <br /></span></span></span>What do you think of parenting? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-12-06T18:58:00Z
The Greatest Decision Ever
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Greatest-Decision-Ever/600602188718007125.html
2016-12-05T18:58:00Z
2016-12-05T18:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br />I remember listening to your show when I was younger, before I was married and had kids. Before I began working in my profession. I would think, "<em>how do people make it work?</em>"<br /><br />I couldn't help but think this to myself when I had my daughter. I worked and missed out on some of her milestones during the first three years. Then I had my son. My husband and I decided at that point that the best thing for the family was to have the kids home with me. <br /><br />Financially it has not been easy. We have adjusted to my loss of income and my husband works hard. He is a great provider and we have made it work! I always hear your voice in my head, from years ago in the radio, and it's the greatest decision we have made.<br /> <br /></span></span></span>What do you think of parenting? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-12-05T18:58:00Z
Six Kids, One Income
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Six-Kids,-One-Income/-13684476951610097.html
2016-12-05T18:57:00Z
2016-12-05T18:57:00Z
<p><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br />We had six kids and most of the time, one income. Thankfully, I grew up eating good homemade food my mother made. She grew up during the depression and knew a lot of money saving tricks. I learned a lot from her. <br /><br />My husband got paid once a month and many times those last days were tough. Whether we were eating pea or bean soup and homemade bread, it always got us through. We didn't have big vacations, there were not a lot of expensive activities, and not everyone got new shoes or a haircut at the same time. <br /><br />It wasn't always easy, but I'm so glad I was able to be home with my kids. The best job in the world! They are all grown up now and most of them have managed to work it out so one parent is home with the kids. <br /><br /><br /><br /></span></span></span>Did you stay at home with your kids? Tell us how you did it and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-12-05T18:57:00Z
I'm Blessed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Blessed/-733721981150953856.html
2016-12-02T18:58:00Z
2016-12-02T18:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br />I loved <a href="/b/My-Dr.-Laura-Pop-Up/975436698789358265.html" target="_blank">today's email</a> from the mom who talked about creative strategies that she and her husband use to enable her to be home with her kids. My husband and I have had to get creative too. <br /><br />I was always the higher-earning partner, so when my son was a baby, my husband cut back his schedule . He worked opposite my full-time schedule so we had no need for daycare. I hated being away from my baby so much, so we scrimped and saved so eventually we could reverse the situation. <br /><br />Now that my son is in school, I have taken a huge pay cut to work as a "<em>lunch lady</em>" in order to have a school-based job that matches my son's school schedule. This has involved tremendous financial sacrifices. What counts is that we have no debt and I'm more available for my son. I'm blessed that my husband and I are on the same page about the priorities for our family. <br /> <br /><br /><br /></span></span></span>Do you think that you and your spouse have the same priorities? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-12-02T18:58:00Z
Your Talent is Reaching People
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Your-Talent-is-Reaching-People/988872732771582236.html
2016-12-02T18:57:00Z
2016-12-02T18:57:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just wanted to say thank you. Before I listened, I went to through a bad relationship and divorced when my girls were young. This has has an impact but your words have helped. <br /><br />Last month I bought of my daughters the book, "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060577878/noxsolutions-20/ref=nosim" target="_blank">Bad Childhood, Good Life</a></em>." I asked them to look it over the books and meet for lunch to talk. We did that today and your words were comforting to them, as they have always been to me. Your incite gave them peace with the past. That the past had nothing to do with them and everything to do with the choices their father and I made.<br /><br />As we close this tough year of life, please know this....Dr. Laura, your talent is reaching people. Near and far, you reach us without even knowing it. Thank you for caring enough to continue this. It isn't in vain I promise. You have made a huge difference in the lives of 4 great ladies in Phoenix AZ. <br /><br />Love, <br /><br />Nancy<br /><br /> <br /><br /></span></span></span></span>How has Dr. Laura made an impact on your life? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-12-02T18:57:00Z
Thank You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You/689138224887369791.html
2016-12-01T18:58:00Z
2016-12-01T18:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I've heard you talk to many callers about their weight, many of whom are considerably smaller than I am. Over the Thanksgiving weekend, while listening to the <a href="/programhighlights?date=20161126" target="_blank">marathon</a>, some calls I heard really started to sink in. <br /><br />You always recommend walking one hour a day. Being that the temperatures have been above normal here, Sunday afternoon I went for an hour walk. It has been five days and, although my right hip isn't necessarily happy with me, I am enjoying my walks. While it is good for me physically, it is also a good time to either zone out and clear my head. I can even take the time to work through things that are bother me. <br /><br />Five days is no great accomplishment, but it is definitely a start! Thank you for providing some motivation to get off the couch. I appreciate you and enjoy listening to your show. Keep up the great work!<br /> <br /><br /><br /></span></span></span></span>How do you burn off your holiday meals? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-12-01T18:58:00Z
Get Creative
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Get-Creative/173020656666310566.html
2016-12-01T18:58:00Z
2016-12-01T18:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><br />Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I'm a stay at home mom. It's difficult but it's worth it for my family. I make it work by getting creative.<br /><br />My husband works his tail off at his job during the day so that I can stay home with our young boys (3 and 7 months). In our state, it's still not enough to live any kind of life we wanted. <br /><br />So I got creative: started babysitting one other child a few days a week, started teaching piano lessons when he's home. We make it work so we can give our kids both the life and the lifestyle we think is important!<br /><br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span>What do you do to make your family life work? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-12-01T18:58:00Z
Good For You!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Good-For-You!/175233725121975043.html
2016-11-30T18:58:00Z
2016-11-30T18:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just got home from work. I didn't want to go to bed until I wrote to tell you how impressed I was when I listened to <a href="/programhighlights?date=20161128" target="_blank">Monday's podcast</a>. It was bad enough that you had the hassles of being tied up at the airport for that long period of time AND had to deal with that difficult couple. <br /><br />You handled yourself very well. Good for you for standing up for what was right! I only wish that I was at that airport to see it first-hand. We could all use a lesson on how to handle situations like this. <br /><br />I go to NJ too to see my dad. It would have been awesome to be on the same plane with you; only, we fly out of San Diego. Let's just say that if we were on the same flight this past Sunday, I would have offered to buy you a cocktail for what you did. You are a true hero and a moral compass to all. I can only hope to be 1/2 as awesome as you when I get to be your age. Once again, great job! <br /><br />Your fan, <br /><br />Laurie <br /><br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span>How do you stick up for yourself? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-11-30T18:58:00Z
Investing in Your Spouse
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Investing-in-Your-Spouse/598840602106501295.html
2016-11-30T18:57:00Z
2016-11-30T18:57:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><span><br />Yes, marriage takes a lot of patience and it can be frustrating to a point. Sometimes, it's disappointing and sometimes lonely. Over all, I see it as an investment in another person, whom I can trust to accept me for the person that I am. <br /><br />I love my husband. I truly love him. We aren't perfect. But, we compromise without really making a lot of fuss. I want him to be happy. He wants me to be happy. We can only contribute to each other's happiness.<br /><br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />Do you think marriage is worth the work? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-11-30T18:57:00Z
Some Things Are More Important
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Some-Things-Are-More-Important/-134889547024425726.html
2016-11-29T18:58:00Z
2016-11-29T18:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><span><br />I believe that some things are just more important than being right. After being married these last 47 years to my high school sweetheart, I know this is true. <br /><br />My husband is the best thing that ever happened to be. I have earned the privilege to many, many times say to myself, "<em>I don't need to have the answer to everything in my marriage.</em>"<br /><br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />What do you think is important? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-11-29T18:58:00Z
It's That Simple
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-That-Simple/-11372452562731992.html
2016-11-29T18:57:00Z
2016-11-29T18:57:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><span><br />I needed to chime in on phones at the dinner table. I just put mine away, silence it or turn it off; whatever the occasion happens to call for. It is that simple. You should show respect for friends and love ones. <br /><br />There is nothing worse than hanging out with someone who has their face in the phone the whole time or the constant sound of texts coming in. I can see checking it when needed, but don't be half present!<br /></span></span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><br />What do you think of cell phones during family time? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-11-29T18:57:00Z
She's Not Just A Doll
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Shes-Not-Just-A-Doll/-850059778990872564.html
2016-11-28T18:58:00Z
2016-11-28T18:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><span><br /><br />The most beautiful part of a woman to me is the part that makes her, her. Her brain, the part that decides who she wants to be how she wants to behave. <br /><br />The most important thing to me, is that I want a woman who isn't afraid to be herself. I want her to treat me well; like she wants to be with me. I don't want my partner to be with me because she feels like she has to be. I don't want her to be a doll. <br /><br />I need a woman to have aspirations, confidence, and happy with herself; that's what I find sexy in a woman. <br /><br />Dan<br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span><br /><br />What do you think is sexy? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-11-28T18:58:00Z
My Amazing Mother-In-Law
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Amazing-Mother-In-Law/-677301364640042829.html
2016-11-28T18:57:00Z
2016-11-28T18:57:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><span><br />God blessed me with an amazing mother-in-law with an even greater sense of humor...just like her son. <br /><br />Part of the reason we get along so well is the way we speak to each other. Her suggestions always with, "<em>You will probably want to do it your way but....</em>" <br /><br />It's always, ALWAYS respectful and yes, I often had to do things "<em>my</em>" way. Even though I do usually end up doing things the way I like, doesn't mean I do it the correct way. When I make a mistake she just sweetly smiles.<br /><br />There is never an "<em>I told you so</em>". Her sweet smiles usually are more like a, "<em>you'll learn</em>" and she's usually right.<br /><br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />What do you think of your In-law's? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-11-28T18:57:00Z
They Can't See It
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/They-Cant-See-It/341043093738074298.html
2016-11-22T18:58:00Z
2016-11-22T18:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><span><br />I have noticed that some of those people who are annoying or inappropriate when in a group of people, are those who had a real lack of love or security in their childhood. The ones I'm thinking of were unloved or mistreated. Since they were never exposed to this as a kid, they don't understand how to connect or censor themselves with others. <br /><br />At times, these types of people can also be quite needy. To me, it seems as if it's a cry for approval and love. It is sad seeing their lack of inner security. I guess they need healing of their hurts and life skills to help them move on. They can't see it, but it definitely pushes people away. <br /><br />I always try to be kind and directive where I can, within limits. If you're too kind, they can suck you dry. <br /><br /> Megan<br /><br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />How do you try to keep healthy boundaries? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-11-22T18:58:00Z
We Have A Responsibility
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Have-A-Responsibility/-474344938396081937.html
2016-11-22T18:57:00Z
2016-11-22T18:57:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><span><br />We absolutely have a responsibility in how we treat others. We should always try to treat others with kindness, love, forgiveness, and accountability. <br /><br />However, we are not ultimately responsible for another person's happiness. Happiness is a choice that comes from within, regardless of what others do or environmental factors in our lives.<br /><br />Julie<br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span><br /><br />How do you feel you affect the happiness of those closest to you? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-11-22T18:57:00Z
Enjoying My Family This Holiday
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Enjoying-My-Family-This-Holiday/-874783009522231429.html
2016-11-21T18:58:00Z
2016-11-21T18:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><span><br />I wanted to chime in about holiday stress. You CAN have a holiday without stress. It can be done! Here's how we do it. <br /><br />I don't make it about me. I don't make it about showing off either. I keep it simple, loving and fun. I feel that holiday time is more about our time together, which is so precious these days. No one likes an over stressed mom at Christmas! It's not about how much I can DO. It's about how much I can enjoy my family. <br /><br />Just wanted to add, I'm thankful for you Dr. Laura!<br /><br />Happy Thanksgiving. <br /><br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />How do you try to keep Holiday stress to a minimum? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-11-21T18:58:00Z
A Real Man...For 50 Years!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Real-Man...For-50-Years!/-100838590680841319.html
2016-11-21T18:57:00Z
2016-11-21T18:57:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><span><br />When my husband and I were first married, 50 years ago and college students we would meet for lunch on campus. He would often peel my orange or remove the sandwich crusts from the lunch we brought from home. <br /><br />Fifty years later, I mistakenly bought seeded grapes to a picnic we had. When I said I would probably throw them out, he said nothing. However, when we sat down for lunch, I found that he had removed those tiny little seeds from a lovely bunch of grapes and arranged them on my plate! <br /><br />That's a real man, that is very loved and appreciated.<br /><br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />How wonderful is your man? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-11-21T18:57:00Z
The Most Wonderful Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Most-Wonderful-Man/-532743863842320652.html
2016-11-18T18:58:00Z
2016-11-18T18:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><span><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I saw your topic today and it truly made me think of my husband. <br /><br />My man ALWAYS makes sure I'm on the inside of the sidewalk or street when we walk. <br /><br />He always holds my hand. <br /><br />He always introduces me to people we meet as "his beautiful best friend". <br /><br />He makes sure he calls me every day at work to tell me how special our relationship is to him and how much he loves me. <br /><br />I am married to the most wonderful man and my best friend.<br /><br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />How wonderful is your man? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-11-18T18:58:00Z
Sponsoring A Millennial
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sponsoring-A-Millennial/715379275530476968.html
2016-11-18T18:57:00Z
2016-11-18T18:57:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><span><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I saw this video and it made me think of you. This is just too funny not to share. <br /><br />Happy Friday and enjoy!<br /><br />Jo<br /><br /><iframe frameborder="0" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/RGvrmltfMrA" height="315" width="560"></iframe><br /><br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />Do you have a video you'd like to share? Send it to us in an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-11-18T18:57:00Z
If You Can't Be An Example, You Can Be A Warning
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/If-You-Cant-Be-An-Example,-You-Can-Be-A-Warning/-979188217099755812.html
2016-11-17T18:58:00Z
2016-11-17T18:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><span><br />My mom used to call me stupid. I've struggled for a long time to believe I'm not stupid. At 55-years-old I continue to question how stupid I am on occasion. With every struggle and every obstacle I faced, I was put down negatively. This continued until I left and had my own family.<br /><br />The benefit of this is that I've been able to apply the opposite to raising my own children. I encourage them and support them, as I should. I am very careful choosing the words I speak to them. As for my mom, it's like they say: "<em>If you can't be an example, you can serve as a warning.</em>" <br /><br />Thank you for all you do to help us slay our dragons and raise our children better than we were raised. <br /><br />Happy Thanksgiving<br /><br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />Have you chosen a different path than your parents? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-11-17T18:58:00Z
We Are All Made From Little Pieces
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Are-All-Made-From-Little-Pieces/284010982798167946.html
2016-11-17T18:57:00Z
2016-11-17T18:57:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><span><br />Today I was listening when you were talking about your glass and silver art. You mentioned that you just can't throw away the pieces of glass left over after making an item. <br /><br />I love and collect cobalt blue glass. I have fruit, perfume bottles, vases, etc. - probably 100 or more pieces on glass shelves in my kitchen bay window. Several years ago, one of my daughters gave me a cobalt blue glass cross for my window. It was made up of odd shaped scraps of cobalt and other shades of blue glass. It is beautiful. The artist had a short poem on a card attached which said, "<em>we are all made from little pieces put together to make us a whole gift from God</em>." Just thought you could use your scraps to do the something similar. <br /><br />Love your show and have been listening for more years than I can remember. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Beverly <br /><br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
What are your favorite hobbies? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-11-17T18:57:00Z
Daycare Nightmare
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Daycare-Nightmare/137717109813787985.html
2016-11-16T18:58:00Z
2016-11-16T18:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><span><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am an IT professional and my job has me at times going to client's sites to work on their network. Today I was at a client site, which happens to be, none other than, a daycare. I have to tell you, I can't imagine why anyone would leave their child in such location. This facility wasn't dirty or in poor quality, it's actually in an upscale neighborhood. <br /><br />I was in one of the classrooms during recess. The kids had all stopped what they were doing to go outside. This one little boy started crying. He was drawing and didn't want to stop to go outside. The teacher kept threatening the little boy saying, "<em>I am going to tell your mother</em>." The little boy would cry, say, "<em>No, I want to keep drawing.</em>" Then the teacher went on by saying, "<em>I am going to tell your father"</em>. The boy screamed "<em>NO</em>" again and cried some more. The teacher then left him in the class room. The boy wiped his tears and continued to draw. <br /><br />The part that I don't get is how could parents leave their children in any of these places? Dr. Laura, I wish more mothers would be there for their children. These little kids are as young as 14 months. That is absurd. <br /><br />I have 7-year-old Shih-Tzu. When I leave town if a friend can't watch her at my house, I get nervous. I have to leave her at the pet hotel, then I call twice a day to check on her! So I don't know how these parents just hand over their child to someone. <br /><br />Keep doing what you do, I think you are awesome and when you're not giving me insightful wisdom, you're making me laugh. Wishing you, your son, daughter-in-law and all the fur-babies a Happy Thanksgiving, a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.<br /><br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
Do have any personal experiences with daycare? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-11-16T18:58:00Z
Some Men Are Warriors
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Some-Men-Are-Warriors/141028365873769082.html
2016-11-16T18:57:00Z
2016-11-16T18:57:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><span><br />I just heard a caller talk about her 17-year-old boy who won't move forward with college applications. This call reminded me of the summer our 17-year-old son brought home a recruiter. <br /><br />Our son had wanted us to sign for him to join the Marine Corp after high school. My husband had also went into the Marine's out of high school. We fully supported his choice but wanted him to wait until he was 18, so he could sign himself. Our son decided to bring home the recruiter to try and get us to change our mind. After I grilled the recruiter with all my questions, we signed. <br /><br />Dr. Laura, my husband and I raised a man. He served his 4 years in the military, which included 2 deployments. He is now in Law Enforcement. He has followed in his father's footsteps. <br /><br />I remember you saying that some men are warriors. I'm happy to say married one and raised one. <br /><br />Kate<br /><br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<br />What limit do you have that you would like to overcome? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-11-16T18:57:00Z
Challenging My Limits
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Challenging-My-Limits/535743220433146555.html
2016-11-15T18:58:00Z
2016-11-15T18:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><span><br />Things are back to normal and I now have my life back after four months of rehab. All I can say from this recent setback is that you really can do more than you initially thought possible. <br /><br />My disability did not keep me from enjoying visiting my home town. While in visiting, my family and I took a bus tour of the city. We went on the top level of the double decker bus. I went up the stairs on my knees and went down the stairs on my tush. <br /><br />Afterwards my sister-in-law was looking for me on the top deck and I had already gotten off the bus. I also kept up with everyone as we were walking around town. I even managed to climb a flight of stairs while visiting friends. I got up the stairs with one crutch. <br /><br />All in all, it was a wonderful memory. It's great testing what you can actually achieve!<br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<br />What limit do you have that you would like to overcome? Tell us more and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-11-15T18:58:00Z
Losing Yourself In Motherhood
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Losing-Yourself-In-Motherhood/626472889494104.html
2016-11-15T18:57:00Z
2016-11-15T18:57:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><span><br /><br />I think I approached my new role as mom differently than most. For me, mothering was in stages. Each new stage had its overwhelming sense of '<em>am I doing this right?</em>' <br /><br />As I learned, I could relax about that issue and so continue in to the next stage. Teenagers are the toughest I think, because you have a person trying to assert who they are; except they don't know who they are yet. Part of it for me was giving them enough freedom to be themselves, while balancing them when the boundary was surpassed. Every teenager tests the limits so boundaries must be enforced and put into place. <br /><br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
How did you handle being a new mom? Tell us more about them and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-11-15T18:57:00Z
Teaching Them To Do The Right Thing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teaching-Them-To-Do-The-Right-Thing/249449773170026345.html
2016-11-14T18:58:00Z
2016-11-14T18:58:00Z
<p><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><span><br />Just wanted to share a little tradition we do with our grandchildren. Every year at this time, we take them to the dollar store. They go and pick out items that the homeless might be able to use. Hand warmers, gloves, hats, toothpaste and brushes, crackers, Vienna sausage....anything that we can find that can be used. We buy small gift cards t</span></span><span><span><span>o subway and pack up everything in a plastic baggie. <br /><br />We then drive to downtown Colorado Springs with kids in tow. (They range in ages 7 to 12) we walk around and give out the bags to homeless men and women living in the streets. My husband and I want to help these kids understand how very lucky they are, and to teach them compassion for those less fortunate. <br /><br />We always have a long conversation on our way home about how hard it would be to sleep in a park or under a bridge in the winter. We can only hope that these small gestures will mold them into caring, unselfish adults. Love listening to you Dr. Laura. You have always reminded me to try to always '<em>Do the Right Thing!'</em></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<br />Do you have a Vet you'd like to honor? Tell us more about them and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-11-14T18:58:00Z
You Make A Difference
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Make-A-Difference/751816859721936986.html
2016-11-14T18:57:00Z
2016-11-14T18:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have called you a few times in the past, including last summer when my children were fighting and you wisely suggested a money jar. Each time the kids fought, regardless of who was to blame, they owed money in the jar. Glad to report they get along significantly better and are maturing beautifully. <br /><br />The purpose of my call was not to get on the air, but rather to tell you that there are many people like I who you may not necessarily hear from, but who you are doubtlessly benefiting. I know it's been a taxing year for you and at times on air I can hear the struggle. <br /><br />Just please keep this in the back of your head - YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE. You provide old fashioned values that our society NEEDS and LACKS. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Lauren<br /><br /><br />Do you think Dr. Laura makes a difference? How? Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-11-14T18:57:00Z
Every Veteran Has A Story
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Every-Veteran-Has-A-Story/14513716134360307.html
2016-11-11T18:58:00Z
2016-11-11T18:58:00Z
<p><br /><strong>Every Veteran Has A Story</strong><br />By: Maryanne Dunne<br /><br /><br /></p>
<blockquote>I'm John an Army vet, and this is my song, <br />I served my military duty against the Viet Cong.<br /><br />My job was to join them with their dog tags, <br />and zipped them up in body bags.<br /><br />I did it tenderly, I did my best, <br />to send to home to their final rest.<br /><br />I returned to the states and drove a truck, <br />but destiny would have it, I ran out of luck.<br /><br />Every Vet has a story, each has a song,<br />so sing it loud and sing it out strong.<br /><br />I'm Johnny, an army vet, and this is my song, <br />I served my military duty against the Viet Cong.<br /><br />I dove into tunnels, can you imagine that, <br />Flushing out the enemy, I was a tunnel rat.<br /><br />No matter the job, no matter the title, <br />every job was performed, each mission was vital.<br /><br />Agent Orange took me, I was awfully sick,<br />But blessed, the end for me came very quick.<br /><br />Every Vet has a story, each has a song,<br />so sing it loud and sing it out strong.<br /><br />I'm Rob a Marine vet, and this is my song, <br />I served my military duty against the Viet Cong.<br /><br />I served as Recon at the Rock Pile, the enemy I tried not to meet,<br />returning with shrapnel in my legs and rot on my feet.<br /><br />I haven't forgot the POW nor the MIA,<br />Someday we'll bring them all Home, I hope and I pray.<br /><br />Despite the time and effort, and despite the cost, <br />I designed a bike to commemorate the missing and lost.<br /><br />Every Vet has a story, each has a song,<br />so sing it loud and sing it out strong.<br /><br />I'm John an Army vet, and this is my song, <br />I served my military duty against the Viet Cong.<br /><br />After Korea, I traveled to Nam to play in the band,<br />but they gave me a weapon and stuck it in my hand.<br /><br />I saved many men and earned some awards,<br />but saving their lives was my true reward.<br /><br />I struggle to walk and suck up the pain, <br />My honor, my dignity and pride I maintain.<br /><br />Every Vet has a story, each has a song,<br />so sing it loud and sing it out strong.<br /><br />So don't you ever look back and regret,<br />the world will remember and "<em>never forget</em>"</blockquote>
<br /><br />Do you have a Vet you'd like to honor? Tell us more about them and Send us an email. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-11-11T18:58:00Z
The Importance of Goal Setting
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-of-Goal-Setting/600486075745184733.html
2016-11-11T18:57:00Z
2016-11-11T18:57:00Z
<p><br />While listening to your opening today about motivation, I just wanted to share how I try to keep myself on track. <br /><br /></p>
<ul>
<li>I sit and think of what goals or goal I can accomplish that day. </li>
<br />
<li>Then I get up, make my bed and tidy up my room. </li>
<br />
<li>I brush my hair, shower, put on makeup, then an outfit. </li>
<br />
<li>I make time to have something to eat and away I go.</li>
</ul>
<p>Make life purposeful! Whether you choose to help a friend, donate old clothes, or even volunteer, it makes a difference. Always have a goal for the day and try your best to accomplish it, no matter how small. It will give you a sense of purpose and accomplishment once your goal is complete. <br /><br />Do not dwell on the negative in life. Remember, just like good times do not last forever, neither do hard times, we can overcome them. <br /><br /><br /><br />What do you do to stay on top of things? Send it to us. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-11-11T18:57:00Z
A Gift Of Laughter
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Gift-Of-Laughter/191135736986730684.html
2016-11-10T18:58:00Z
2016-11-10T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I will not be able to tell this very funny blonde joke on Corny Joke Day, so this is a gift to one of my favorite people to share with her listeners. I know how she loves blonde jokes.<br /><br /> Two sisters inherited the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they were in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they needed to purchase a bull so that they could breed their own stock. The sister who balanced their checkbook, a brunette, took their last 600 dollars out west to a ranch where a man had a prize bull for sale. <br /><br />Upon leaving, she told her blonde sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home." The brunette arrived at the man's ranch, inspected the bull, and decided she did want to buy it. The man told her that he would sell it for 599 dollars, no less. <br /><br />After paying him, she drove to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walked into the telegraph office, and said, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home." The telegraph operator explained that he'd be glad to help her, and then added, "It's just 99 cents a word." <br /><br />Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only had 1 dollar left. She realized that she'd only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nodded, and said, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable.'" The telegraph operator shook his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable'?" <br /><br />She replied, "She reads slow - come...for...the...bull"<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a great joke you'd like to share? Send it to us. Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-11-10T18:58:00Z
Doggie Funerals and Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Doggie-Funerals-and-Kids/621485828271377555.html
2016-11-10T18:57:00Z
2016-11-10T18:57:00Z
<p><br />Just heard your advice regarding a 5-year-old and the death of her German shepherd. The call reminded me of the funeral my parents held for their German shepherd. <br /><br />Their dog had passed away while my sister was staying at their ranch with her three kids; ages 5, 7, and 10 years at the time. As they buried the dog on the ranch (which is legal) they all went around the circle taking turns saying their good byes. <br /><br />Much to our surprise, when they came to the youngest -- my nephew with tears in his eyes began singing the song "<em><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AkLE4X-bbU" target="_blank">How Much Is That Doggie In The Window</a></em>"! Needless to say it took great effort not to chuckle and will always be a great family memory. <br /><br />Just thought you might find this story both humorous and touching.<br /><br /><br /><br />How does your family deal with the loss of loved ones? Tell us how by Signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-11-10T18:57:00Z
I Was Speechless
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Was-Speechless/859194317356813374.html
2016-11-09T18:58:00Z
2016-11-09T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I had to share this moment with my 3-year-old granddaughter. I know you will get a kick out of this. <br /><br />I am always telling her she should be a doctor she grows up. She has a little doctor kit that she uses to check your heart, your ears and take your temperature. She was sitting on my lap looking at one of her books when I asked her, "What do you want to be when you grow up? A doctor?" She said nothing. <br /><br />Her mother sitting across from me asked her again, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Without looking up or skipping a beat, she said "I just want to be Katie." I told her that would be fine with me! <br /><br />I was speechless. A child coming up with that answer was incredible! <br /><br /><br /><br />Has your child or grandchild ever said something that made you smile? Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-11-09T18:58:00Z
It's Not That Hard
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Not-That-Hard/75994154060673910.html
2016-11-09T18:57:00Z
2016-11-09T18:57:00Z
<p><span><span><br />I know lately you've been speaking about how to eat healthier on a budget. When you think of it, it's really not that hard. People say that healthy food is more expensive than not so healthy food. It is really all about your choices. <br /><br />Instead of buying a bag of chip or that ice cream, spend the same amount of mon</span></span><span><span><span>ey on a healthy snack. Instead of paying $5 for a latte, get a medium size smoothie or one of those smoothie bowls for the same price. I actually do enjoy a latte once in a while, but it is not a staple of mine. One every month or two is just fine. Moderation is key.<br /></span><br /><span>As far as exercise is concerned, walking is free!</span></span></span><br /><br /><br /><br />What do you do to keep your health and finances in shape? Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-11-09T18:57:00Z
I Owned Up To It
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Owned-Up-To-It/-286265135336810358.html
2016-11-08T18:58:00Z
2016-11-08T18:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am thankful to listen to your program. Yesterday, I put myself in a bit of a pickle over a knee jerk reaction. <br /><br />I will spare the details but I made a bad decision at work that in turn resulted in someone being upset with me. I contemplated all the ways I could try to wiggle out. Then I said, "<em>self, what would Dr. Laura tell me to do?</em>" <br /><br />So, I did the right thing. I owned up to what I did and apologized. I said I was wrong and I would never do it again. Thank you, Dr Laura, for helping me<br /><br />What are you thankful for this year? Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-11-08T18:58:00Z
Sweet Memories
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sweet-Memories/360496561425964519.html
2016-11-08T18:57:00Z
2016-11-08T18:57:00Z
<p><br />One of my favorite things that I remember about my grandma was that she was always giving us sweet treats. My mom was telling me that when I was little, my grandma wouldn't just give me a dish of ice cream. She would set the whole carton of ice cream before me and just gave me a spoon! Lol. <br /><br />My mom is not like that at all. She grand parents the same way she parented. She doesn't spoil my son and my nieces, but spends time with them. When they are with her she does things with them that they all enjoy. The time they have together is special and memorable. <br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a favorite memory of your grandparents? Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-11-08T18:57:00Z
Bedtime Is Bad For My Health
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bedtime-Is-Bad-For-My-Health/423712789205845543.html
2016-11-07T18:58:00Z
2016-11-07T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr Laura,<br /><br />While reading through your website, I was reminded of some the ways my kids would try to stall bedtime.<br /><br />Mine are grown now, but my little guy once asked me if I could feel his pulse. He felt like bedtime was "<em>killing"</em> him. Fifteen minutes later, he reappeared and asked me what the meaning of life was!?<br /><br />He's almost 29 now, and still a deep thinker! So cute, I had to share. <br /><br />Maria<br /><br /><br /><br />How did you child stall their bedtime? Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-11-07T18:58:00Z
Memories of Daddy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Memories-of-Daddy/-645676053926922446.html
2016-11-07T18:57:00Z
2016-11-07T18:57:00Z
<p><br /><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My daddy gave me words of wisdom. He also taught me to chop wood; we had a pot belly wood stove! <br /><br />He'd get up earlier, so he could stoke the stove and put wood in before we got up. A lot of times I got up with him. He could make so many different faces while telling a story, all funny! He would have me laughing so hard while helping with the stove. He sang in the mornings while making coffee. He played a ton of musical instruments, including the juice harp and a little piano! <br /><br />He was the most interesting person I have ever known, witty, and kind!<br /><br /><br /><br />What did you find interesting about your parents? Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-11-07T18:57:00Z
The Value of Pets
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Value-of-Pets/965581795625775167.html
2016-11-04T17:58:00Z
2016-11-04T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I just wanted to say I love when you mention your dogs. If I hear Mikey bark in the background, it reminds me of German Shepherds I have had in the past, my sweet loves!<br />With Thanksgiving coming, I wanted to mention my dog Will E. Yes that's Will E. He is the light of our lives. We call him Pork Chop, Dumb-Dumb and Wilbur, but he's our favorite boy. <br /><br />He reminds us that we all just need the basics to be happy: Yummy healthy food, a few walks a day, rough and tumble play time, a few toys, a comfortable spot (or a few) to sleep, and LOVE. His needs are simple, and when he gets them met, he's a happy boy. <br /><br />At Thanksgiving and all year, we could all use reminding that it's the simple things done with LOVE that really matter: Happy Thanksgiving Dr. Laura & crew!<br /><br /><br /><br />What are you thankful for? Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-11-04T17:58:00Z
'Charlie-isms'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Charlie-isms/302154729934143026.html
2016-11-04T17:57:00Z
2016-11-04T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I wanted to write in and tell you about my dad and his "sayings" In our family, we call them "Charlie-isms". These were my Dads comments that usually turned out to be true. He had a knack for this. I think you would have appreciated his philosophy. <br /><br />Today I heard you ask a caller '<em>who is he?</em>' You asked this when it was apparent that the caller's wife no longer wanted to be a part of their marriage. <br /><br />My Dad would have said, "<em>They don't leave a warm bed for a cold one!</em>"<br /><br /><br /><br />What reminds you of your parent? Let us know! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-11-04T17:57:00Z
New To Dementia
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/New-To-Dementia/-542794576655948440.html
2016-11-03T17:58:00Z
2016-11-03T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />A woman called a few days ago, maybe halfway through your show. The disease she was describing that affected her husband's frontal lobe is called <a href="http://www.theaftd.org/" target="_blank">Frontotemporal Degeneration</a>. It's a fairly new dementia diagnosis, and there are great resources for people suffering with the disease and also their caretakers. I am writing to share information with anyone that may need a little extra support. <br /><br />There are plenty of <a href="https://www.facebook.com/search/top/?q=Frontotemporal%20Degeneration" target="_blank">Facebook groups</a> that she can go to for support. My dad is currently suffering from <a href="http://www.theaftd.org/understandingftd/ftd-overview">this terrible disease</a>, which can present itself in the affected person becoming very mean and even violent to their caregiver. However it is 100% caused by the disease. It can also cause a person to become socially inappropriate. <br /><br />I thought this might be valuable info for you and for listeners, considering sometimes callers have situations like this.<br /><br />Janet<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have information that you'd like to share? Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-11-03T17:58:00Z
Dad Told Me To Never Give Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dad-Told-Me-To-Never-Give-Up/519435454612282381.html
2016-11-03T17:57:00Z
2016-11-03T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I am very blessed with my parents. Both of them. I will always remember my Dad telling me I could do anything that I dedicated myself to. To never give up. <br /><br />To this day he always tells me that you can be successful not from intelligence, but from discipline. I have to study perhaps harder than others, but I will graduate with my RN, BSN in May! I truly owe it all to my amazing parents. They instilled in me to work hard and to earn it!<br /><br /><br /><br />What are you grateful for? We'd like to know! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-11-03T17:57:00Z
Above And Beyond Parental Duties
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Above-And-Beyond-Parental-Duties/-962059589754294610.html
2016-11-02T17:58:00Z
2016-11-02T17:58:00Z
<p><br />My husband truly cares about his children. He was always there. Even when he worked a full day, he came home and was there to coach his daughters teams. He would help out at school during his days off to help the teachers and he make sure they knew he would always be there for them. <br /><br />Now my twins are 25 and they still count on him. They know he will still be there for them. When I met my husband he was there for me and I knew he would be the best father in the world! <br /><br />He has sure gone above and beyond his parental duties and now his grandson just adores him and he is there for him too. I just love this man. <br /><br /><br /><br />What are you grateful for? We'd like to know! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-11-02T17:58:00Z
Changing For The Better
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-For-The-Better/760901966387915650.html
2016-11-02T17:57:00Z
2016-11-02T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I am so grateful for your program. Thank you for helping make my marriage stronger, and better. <br /><br />I had terrible role models, but was lucky enough to have parents who stayed married. My husband and I just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. Listening to you for the past 6 years has changed my thinking completely and certainly for the better. <br /><br />You are an angel on earth doing God's work. Thank you and God bless you, Dr. Laura. <br /><br /><br /><br />What are you grateful for? We'd like to know! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-11-02T17:57:00Z
Focus On The Big Stuff
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Focus-On-The-Big-Stuff/-260162287879144090.html
2016-11-01T17:58:00Z
2016-11-01T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I found out first hand that there are times when you just need to let things go, in order to concentrate on what is truly important. <br /><br />Years ago, when I was a nurses aide, it was frequently short staffed. Needless to say, we were getting discouraged. I made a point to try to boost the morale, not only for myself, but for everyone else. <br /><br />When it was someone's birthday I would baked them a cake. For Valentine's Day, I made Valentine posters for every floor of the building and hung them up for everyone to enjoy. I even helped out the gal in the activities department. <br /><br />In time I found that I really loved my job and looked forward to coming to work, regardless of the work load.<br /><br /><br /><br />How do YOU let go, so that you can focus on what is really important? We'd like to know! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-11-01T17:58:00Z
Life Is Good, Don't Give Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Life-Is-Good,-Dont-Give-Up/-325936133601624458.html
2016-11-01T17:57:00Z
2016-11-01T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I'm happy to report that I am living my dream! I made the choice to never give up on my dream. I didn't pay a lot of attention to how long it took to get here. I'm just happy I made it.<br /><br />Two years ago, I told my husband that I wanted another horse before I was too old to ride. He said go for it! I hadn't ridden in almost 20 years. I was 61-years-old back then. Now I have my dream horse! I'm trail riding three days a week. I've also joined a mounted drill team. I've also been making friends. I met a lady that is now 83 and she rides everyday! Life is good! <br /><br /><br />What's your dream? We'd like to know! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-11-01T17:57:00Z
United Front Against Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/United-Front-Against-Mom/16642146789575030.html
2016-10-31T17:58:00Z
2016-10-31T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I'm listening to Dr. Laura talk about how to handle your kids when arguing and I have to share what I used to do when my girls argued as children.<br /><br /> I would give them each a can of powdered household cleaner and then a brush and put them in the bathroom. I would tell them to scrub the bathtub TOGETHER until it was either shiny as per my expectation or until they were friends again. <br /><br />It worked every time! We now laugh at it, especially when I hear the "<em>behind the scenes</em>" on how they felt. They would get so angry at each other but they would STILL want to be friends so that they could get out of the tub. <br /><br />Moral of the story is: give them a very confined space and a job that they don't like and I can guarantee they will become a united front against you before you know it. <br /><br /><br />Do you have any tips to help your kidlets get along? We'd like to know! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-31T17:58:00Z
I'm Still Learning
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Still-Learning/-999017714931472232.html
2016-10-31T17:57:00Z
2016-10-31T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I am still learning to parent better. There are moments when I feel like I have more good days than bad ones. I am not perfect. <br /><br />When l do get angry, I apologize for exploding. We also discuss her behavior so that we can both try to do better. Parenting is the hardest and most rewarding task I've ever done. <br /><br />I still can't believe how much love you can have for these little people!<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you get through parenting tough spots? We'd like to know! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-31T17:57:00Z
It Never Fails!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Never-Fails!/-9356869000560491.html
2016-10-28T17:58:00Z
2016-10-28T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just wanted to share with you how I get my three boys to get along when they begin to act up and fight with one another. <br /> <br />When the bickering started, I would make them sit at the round breakfast table far enough apart to be out of arms reach. No one was allowed to speak. It never failed! Within 5 minutes, they were giggling and plotting how to be released from the table.<br /><br />When they are forced with the time out, they join forces! <br /><br />Thank you for all you do.<br /><br />Jenny<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have any tips to help your kidlets get along? We'd like to know! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-28T17:58:00Z
Fit & Healthy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fit--Healthy/424618022379963304.html
2016-10-28T17:57:00Z
2016-10-28T17:57:00Z
<p><br />This morning something that happened made me think of you. A lady came into my store at 5:30 am today, she had blonde hair and she was wearing spandex shorts. <br /><br />She made me think of you because she was so fit. I know that you said you live in workout clothes, I thought of you. Everyone was giving her a look like, "<em>what are you wearing?</em>" I went up to her and said, "<em>Good morning and you look amazing!</em>" <br /><br />She thanked me and told me she is 69-years-old. She told me that I made her day because most people just stair at her during this time of year, and don't say anything. I told her she is the type of person all us women should aspire to be fit and healthy! Anyway she reminded me of you so had to tell ya. <br /><br />Have a great day!!<br /><br /></p>
<p> <br /><br />How do you try to stay fit and healthy? We'd like to know! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-28T17:57:00Z
Family Is More Important
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Family-Is-More-Important/882812247176177280.html
2016-10-27T17:58:00Z
2016-10-27T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I put together a small list of things that I won't have to worry about, because I am an avid and true listener. I thought you would get a kick out of this list. Enjoy!<br /><br /></p>
<ol>
<li>I won't have to worry about how much milk or how many bottles I to send to daycare.</li>
<br />
<li>I won't have to stress about where to put my babies when they are "<em>too sick</em>" to go to daycare.</li>
<br />
<li>I don't have to stress out about writing names on all of my babies clothes and personal items.</li>
<br />
<li>I don't have to stress out that my husband may be getting emotional support from a co-worker or friend because I AM not present to full fill his needs at home.</li>
<br />
<li>I won't ever have to accept the phrase "d<em>on't worry just order dinner"</em> or "<em>don't worry they'll just get used to it.</em>" </li>
</ol>
<p><br />I will never have to worry about all the failures that come with having a child that I cannot care for, because work was "<em>more important</em>". I just wanted to remind you that I am listening to all that you have to say and my life has totally changed because of it!<br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Amy<br /> <br /><br /><br />How has your life changed since listening to Dr. Laura? We'd like to know! Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-27T17:58:00Z
Touching Moments
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Touching-Moments/-795122489820811706.html
2016-10-27T17:57:00Z
2016-10-27T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I just finished listening to your listener, Wendy, and it brought tears to my eyes. She is a blessing to us all. <br /><br />She was with speaking such understanding and knowledge about alcoholism; I was truly impressed. She is wise beyond her years. Thank you for letting her participate in your program. I am sure that she has helped many alcoholics who are open to her wisdom. <br /><br />It's moments like this that remind me how special your show is.<br /><br /> <br /><br />Have you ever been in AA? How did you make the program work for YOU? Send us an email and tell us how, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-27T17:57:00Z
I Had A Choice!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Had-A-Choice!/-777611029583199915.html
2016-10-26T17:58:00Z
2016-10-26T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi, Dr. Laura,<br /><br /> Thank you for all you have done for people that listen to your show and follow your advice. I started listening to your show a few years ago, at which time I was a horrible alcoholic. Even though I lost my husband to alcoholism, I continued to be a drunk. <br /><br />I finally figured out; because of you! I didn't have a "<em>disease</em>" over which I had no control and could use as an to excuse to drink when I wanted to. I didn't have to be a drunk!!! <strong>I had a CHOICE!</strong> Because of the common sense and true approach you used, I stopped drinking and have been sober for over three years. <br /><br />The four completed inpatient rehabs never helped me, but listening to you for a week "<em>cured</em>" me. I go to AA once a week, because it helps me as well. Of course, I ALWAYS listen to your podcast, and I get so excited for an alcoholic when you tell them to just make the right choice! Thank you for making it simple, and taking away my excuses in one quick swoop! <br /><br />Respectfully, <br /><br />Kendall<br /> <br /><br /><br />How has Dr. Laura changed your life? Send us an email and tell us how, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-26T17:58:00Z
Adapting to New Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Adapting-to-New-Family/-463358579220256956.html
2016-10-26T17:57:00Z
2016-10-26T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just wanted to pass on some pointers to keep in mind when considering marriage. It's not just your spouse you are marring. You are also marrying into a brand new family. <br /><br />Here's how I have navigated my in-laws: </p>
<ol>
<li>I accept that they are different than my family, including having different flaws.</li>
<br />
<li>I'm polite.</li>
<br />
<li>I generally leave decisions about family events to my wife. On rare occasions, I have even taken our kids to holiday get-togethers when my wife was not able to go.</li>
<br />
<li>I politely but firmly maintain boundaries.</li>
<br />
<li>I don't gripe about their daughter/sister to them.</li>
</ol>
<p><br />I hope these few tips help those who are trying to adapt to a new family. Thank you for all you do, every show! <br /><br />Ben<br /><br /><br />How did you blend in with your spouse's family? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-26T17:57:00Z
Kindness Rekindles Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Kindness-Rekindles-Love/-509051825393258485.html
2016-10-25T17:58:00Z
2016-10-25T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just wanted to send a quick note to thank you for truly making my marriage great. My wife listens to you every day and models what a true soulmate is. I am truly blessed. <br /><br />Your advice, if heeded, will help heal a lot of folks. Although, it seems like they also have to leave their motives behind. If we truly reach out to help our spouse, the kindness will rekindle love. <br /><br />Greg <br /><br /><br /><br />Has Dr. Laura said something that stuck with you? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-25T17:58:00Z
I Should Have Been More Responsible
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Should-Have-Been-More-Responsible/-420327191968952895.html
2016-10-25T17:57:00Z
2016-10-25T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I could be the best example for how not to live your life! I did it all wrong! <br /><br />Please let this list of things that I did, be things that you NEVER do: <br /><br /></p>
<ul>
<li>I Let my mother take over with my daughter, when I should have been "Mommy" </li>
<br />
<li>I married her father and divorced him when my daughter was only 3 months old.</li>
<br />
<li>We were very young, I was just 18 and he was 20. Too young for this responsibility</li>
</ul>
<br />My Mom didn't instill responsibly in me. I know I wanted it but it was easy to justify wrong doing when "<em>responsibility</em>" was never a part of my life. I sure wish I had you in my life then. Thank you for all the help you give to your followers! I have learned a lot from you! Keep up the good work!
<p><br />I wish everyone listened to you! We would have a better world! <br /><br /><br /><br />Has Dr. Laura said something that stuck with you? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-25T17:57:00Z
Your Words Made The Difference
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Your-Words-Made-The-Difference/-543107438076096971.html
2016-10-24T17:58:00Z
2016-10-24T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I am writing because I wanted to thank you for offering advice to a caller 21 years ago. A kind and bright young woman was struggling with her sense of self-worth and trying to figure out her place in the world and in the relationships that were to shape her future. You told her that the capacity of her parents to love is not a reflection of her value or how much she should be loved. <br /><br />The point of my message is to let you know, that your words have made all the difference for me. I was a newlywed then and am still married to same wonderful man. My parents died 10 years and 16 years after the day I heard your call. I am sure that your advice gave me the perspective and courage to be more loving to them and to have a healthier perspective. So thank you. Your compassion is remarkable and memorable. <br /><br /><br /><br />Has Dr. Laura said something that stuck with you? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-24T17:58:00Z
Doing The Right Thing With A Smile
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Doing-The-Right-Thing-With-A-Smile/-861643537413067588.html
2016-10-24T17:57:00Z
2016-10-24T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My husband called the other day, while I was listening to your program while driving alone. I love my driving time with just me and Dr. Laura! I saw his name come up on the caller ID and honestly thought "NO, NOT NOW...I have to hear why the grandmother was given a restraining order, and how will Dr. Laura handle this caller!" <br /><br />HOWEVER, I have heard you say many times if you don't pay attention to your husband you will end up with far more time on your hands than you planned for. So, with a smile, I did the right thing and answered his call. <br /><br />He was just calling to say "<em>hi</em>", nothing urgent. He is a sweetheart. Thank you for sharing your vantage point and wisdom. I applaud your efforts of perseverance through tragedy and wish you abundant blessings in the years ahead.<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you pick up the phone when your spouse calls or do you send them to voicemail? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-24T17:57:00Z
Stunting Your Child's Growth
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stunting-Your-Childs-Growth/-266244628851488469.html
2016-10-21T17:58:00Z
2016-10-21T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was perusing through my email and read your snippet on this topic, and I will tell you the struggle is real. I had the foresight in high school to recognize my parents were not setting me up to be successful in life, but rather to be co-dependent. I fought tooth and nail against this. <br /><br />I lived 30 minutes away from my college campus, but I elected to live off campus so I could prepare myself for what being on my own as an adult really entailed. It certainly prepared me for life. I worked too. <br /><br />My thoughts on this, a bird that learns to fly from the nest is a bird that can soar and make its own nest. When the wind knocks the nest out of the tree, the bird will know how to rebuild its nest and survive.<br /><br /><br /><br />When did you fly the nest? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-21T17:58:00Z
Changing Lives
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-Lives/-702460160088265864.html
2016-10-21T17:57:00Z
2016-10-21T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />I called the other day and I had to write in to thank you. Thank you for your wisdom and point of view. You said many of the things that I have thought and tried to communicate, but was never effectively able to get across. <br /><br />After our call, my wife and I had a very good discussion. For the first time, in what feels like years, my wife opened up deeply with me. She actually took accountability for her entitlement and resentment against me. In her words, she was: "Being a brat and vindictive". This is huge! Before our call with you, everything bad has been completely MY fault; leaving her as the victim. I cannot understate how big of a paradigm shift this is for her. How big of a step she is taking here. I am gaining hope again. <br /><br />I pray that we use this moment of clarity and both work towards lifelong changes. I want to be here for her and protect that tenderness and vulnerability she has shown me. You are changing lives; you are truly one of our greatest national treasures that we have. God bless you Dr. Laura. I will call you again as we walk through this. <br /><br />Ted<br /><br /><br />Have you ever been helped by Dr. Laura? Tell us how. Signup for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-10-21T17:57:00Z
Never Ending Caramels
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Never-Ending-Caramels/998037266993464304.html
2016-10-20T17:58:00Z
2016-10-20T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />My soulmate for many years was so good with helping keep the spark in our marriage.<br /><br />Each Valentine's Day he would give me a box of candy. I loved the candy, however, there were never enough caramels. Knowing this, my husband would purchase an extra box of caramels. Any time someone took a piece of candy, he would replace the empty spot with a new caramel. This way there were always caramels after Valentine's Day. <br /><br />I've always known about this but I keep that a secret. It's such a loving gesture that I just enjoy the love. <br /><br /><br />What does your spouse do to make you feel special? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-20T17:58:00Z
A Hell Of An Adventure
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Hell-Of-An-Adventure/-891522267573004216.html
2016-10-20T17:57:00Z
2016-10-20T17:57:00Z
<p><br />In this house, we've always made our thoughts to each other well known about whatever was bugging either one of us. Were we perfect? Oh, hell no, but it gave us the ability to move forward and try to figure out a solution as best we could. We often tell each other we'd do it again after over 42 years. It's been one hell of an adventure! <br /><br />It saddens us that today's young folks throw away perfectly good marriages and destroy a nice family. Thank you for always trying to warn against this.<br /><br />Daniel<br /><br /><br />What does your family do when you '<em>Need a hug</em>'? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-20T17:57:00Z
Daddy Needs A Hug
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Daddy-Needs-A-Hug/75658230099749933.html
2016-10-19T17:58:00Z
2016-10-19T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I listen to your podcasts and often hear you tell your callers to hug their spouse when they're feeling frustrated or upset. Your advice is so spot on! Giving a hug or asking for a hug immediately forces you to relax and take a deep breath. Sometimes I needed that hug and didn't even realize it until I'm wrapped in my husband's arms. <br /><br />Because of your advice, I had to share this moment with you. It had been a long and very busy day, my husband was feeling a little exhausted and in need of some peace and quiet. Well, we have 3 kids, so that is a rarity! As we're driving, my kids just wanted daddy's attention. My husband gently said, "<em>Okay I need no one to talk to me right now and just talk to each other for a bit</em>". Our 6-year-old daughter and 4-year-old son both said, "<em>Aw Daddy needs a hug</em>!"<br /><br />It brought a smile to my husband's face and sincere warmth to my heart. As soon as we parked the car, we all got out, including our 1-year-old son, and gave Daddy a group hug! <br /><br />Your advice to families and spouses is incredibly helpful, and I thank you for always being an advocate for stay at home moms. I've listened to you since I was in grade school, and even though I may have not been excited that my mom had Dr. Laura on in the car as a kid, your words clearly sank in. <br /><br />You have always been the voice of reason for me. Thank you, for you truly have raised a generation. <br /><br /><br /><br />What does your family do when you '<em>Need a hug</em>'? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-19T17:58:00Z
If I Never Found You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/If-I-Never-Found-You/697205913093441507.html
2016-10-19T17:57:00Z
2016-10-19T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I would not be in a healthy relationship today, if I had not found you on podcast. My boyfriend recommended I listen to you to learn about how women really think or don't think when in a relationship. He has been an avid listener for years. <br /><br />We have been dating for 14 months and following your recommendation to really get to know all of our values and beliefs. Since have met I him we have gotten into some very deep discussions about everything under the sun. I walk several miles a day with my dog and listen to your podcasts. <br /><br />I would have never been able to get the guts to invest in a good man like this if I did not listen to your advice. <br /><br />Thank you! <br /><br />Rayne<br /><br /><br />What have you learned from listening to the show? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-19T17:57:00Z
I Swore I Would Never Do That
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Swore-I-Would-Never-Do-That/229581338454883004.html
2016-10-18T17:58:00Z
2016-10-18T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Some parents create a dependency in their children, so much so, that they can't cope with life on their own. These kids end up living in a type of surreal and unrealistic world. <br /><br />Both of my brothers have been so babied by my Mom that they actually seemed mentally challenged; and they really weren't! My younger brother has passed away. He began to go downhill after my parents passed away. He had always lived with them and hated life without them. My twin brother has had a real struggle. He stopped speaking to my mother shortly before her death and stuck to his guns. Now he is now doing quite well!! My Dad tried in the past to intervene, but never succeeded. <br /><br />I now have boys of my own. It has been hard with my boys; but, I swore I would never do that to them. Bottom line is I love them enough to let them go, then it is up to them. Although, I will always be there to watch their backs; in a healthy way!<br /><br /><br /><br />When did you give your child their first taste of independence? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-18T17:58:00Z
Watching Them Fly
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Watching-Them-Fly/463347050755086988.html
2016-10-18T17:57:00Z
2016-10-18T17:57:00Z
<p><br />My husband I have successfully raised 3 great kids. All 3 are college graduates, they have good jobs and they all word hard workers. The best thing about them is that they are caring human beings. <br /><br />We have been empty nesters for 3 years. I really do miss having them here. We spent as much time as we could with all of them and are so proud they all have become self sufficient adults living their dreams!! <br /><br />I would give anything to have them all home under my wings. However, I am most proud they they don't need me to survive life. They just need me to enjoy their lives with them and watch them fly!<br /><br /><br />Are you transitioning to an empty nest? Send us an email and tell us the pros and cons, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-18T17:57:00Z
Getting On With Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Getting-On-With-Life/11772004992489725.html
2016-10-17T17:58:00Z
2016-10-17T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was listening to a past call with a mother whose 26-year-old son died from complications of chemotherapy. Her pain was palpable, and also her desperate need to laugh. I lost my son at 20-years-old, back in 2000 and I understand her completely. I also understand how hard the call was for you too. <br /><br />The thing that helped, along with wonderful friends and church, was a group called <a href="https://www.compassionatefriends.org/home.aspx" target="_blank">The Compassionate Friends</a>. Specifically, for bereaved parents. Also, the grieving time for losing a child is roughly 5 years. I say you never get over the pain, you just get used to it. <br /><br />After the 1st year, the denial is just starting to wear off. The 2nd year is a shock because you want to get on with things and you're not quite ready. Half way through' the 3rd year the pain really hits and there's a lot of sobbing. Around the 4 1/2 years you can start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. <br /><br />You said it well Dr. Laura, in my early days of grief, "<em>You will never get over it, but you will get on with your life.</em>" <br /><br />Blessings and prayers for all you do, <br /><br />Tammy<br /><br /><br /><br />Has a call ever resonated with you? Which one? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-17T17:58:00Z
The Chore Jar
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Chore-Jar/-327921443152132374.html
2016-10-17T17:57:00Z
2016-10-17T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I've homeschooled my 2 daughters for the past 5 years. I used to get frustrated and yell. It's sad to admit but it's the truth. When I would ask them to do something, they would respond by ignoring my request or simply procrastinate so long that I'd go crazy. <br /><br />Now I have "The Chore Jar." I've written household chores that I hate to do on slips of paper (cleaning baseboards, dust, cleaning the toilet) and placed them in the jar. <br /><br />Now, when the kids refuse to do as I ask, I simply have them reach into the jar and grab a chore. Now, I'm almost happy to have them refuse or argue because I get a clean house! This has really defused things in our home. <br /><br />Tammy <br /><br /><br />Do you have a parenting trip that you'd like to share? Send us an email, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-17T17:57:00Z
Parents Should Watch This Movie
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parents-Should-Watch-This-Movie/-226424265297259772.html
2016-10-14T17:58:00Z
2016-10-14T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Your advice has completely made my entire family's life better and we are happier and wiser. Not a minute of my listening time was wasted! I've always felt I owed you a thank you letter. <br /><br />I watched an old movie the other night that really hits hard about what happens to our children's psyche when parents' divorce. It's titled "<em><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3614944/" target="_blank">Wednesday Child</a></em>" and was made in 1934. <br /><br />I feel if every married couple with children were forced to watch this movie, many, many wouldn't, no couldn't, just go through with it. I'm anxious to hear your take on this movie. <br /><br />Anyway, I love you to pieces and admire you beyond words.Thank you for everything. Which encompasses way more than I can say here. <br /><br />Much love, <br /><br />Sheila <br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a movie recommendation for Dr. Laura? Send us an email, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-14T17:58:00Z
Following My Gut
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Following-My-Gut/-370807098769147748.html
2016-10-14T17:57:00Z
2016-10-14T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I listened to the call from the woman who had a '<em>great'</em> sister who was mean to her kids, and jealous of cancer. Your answer was, of course, spot on. I also read <a href="/b/Should-I-Dump-a-Family-Member/-169040178476548029.html" target="_blank">your blog about dumping family</a>. <br /><br />I have been struggling with with myself on a decision I made early this year. I decided to separate myself from the church I've been attending for the last 17 years. As I read your blog, all I could do was nod my head and think, "yeah Mike, you did the right thing." <br /> <br />Thank you for putting into words what my "<em>gut</em>" was telling me. <br /><br />Kudos, <br /><br />Mike<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you read something on the site that made an impact on you? Send us an email and tell us what it was, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-14T17:57:00Z
Making A Difference For Others
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-A-Difference-For-Others/359236594323397434.html
2016-10-13T17:58:00Z
2016-10-13T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I never realized how much our kind words, gestures, or even a smile means to someone. I remember a little girl I used to know. When we met, she carried a plastic rose that she would play with endlessly. One day she told her mom that she wanted me to have it. <br /><br />The rose was worn out, but I loved it because it was a true gift from this little girl's heart. I was surprised that she have me the rose because she was not a big talker. If I noticed that she got new shoes, I mentioned it to her. I made it a point to ask her daily how her day was. I would also told her how she pretty was. Most of the time she would just smile or answer with a short answer conversation. <br /><br />Every time I look at that worn out rose, I think of that little girl and how a few short interactions made an impact on her. You never know how your reactions will make people feel. <br /><br />Just wanted to share. <br /><br /><br />Have you ever made an impact on someone? Send us an email and tell how, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-13T17:58:00Z
A Voice Of Truth
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Voice-Of-Truth/677331826590910182.html
2016-10-13T17:57:00Z
2016-10-13T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Thank you for being a voice for truth and a light in today's world of social decadence and degenerative moral fiber. <br /><br />I often find myself slapping the console of my car and laughing out loud at the conversations you have with some people. You're an inspiration to me and millions of the silent masses who listen to your show. Your knack for "<em>seeing the forest</em>" in the entanglement of emotions and psychobabble is unparrelled. <br /><br />Every high school in the country should require the Dr. Laura exposure; that would create a society of people comfortable in their own skins. Imagine that! <br /><br />With honor and respect, <br /><br />Miles <br /><br /><br /><br />What do you love about the Show? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-13T17:57:00Z
Keeping It 'Real'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-It-Real/-127279274597650435.html
2016-10-12T17:58:00Z
2016-10-12T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I listen to your podcast every day while I work in my home office. This at home office arrangement allows me to be present when my kids leave for school and when they get home. It also allows me to have my doggies, Zoe and Axel, keep me company while I work. <br /><br />I just wanted to let you know that whenever Mikey barks, Zoe perks up and starts barking too! It's so cute, I love it. I want to thank you for sharing your recent trials and tribulations with your audience. Your strength is truly inspiring. Thank you for your matter-of-fact opinions. You keep it real. <br /><br />Thank you, <br /><br />Wendy<br /><br /><br /><br />What do you love about the Show? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-12T17:58:00Z
If I Only Had A Week
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/If-I-Only-Had-A-Week/-988736592713894966.html
2016-10-12T17:57:00Z
2016-10-12T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dear Mom: <br /><br />I like to think of you as my mom, even though I will be 64 next month. I install medical alert devices, so I am with seniors all day long. Most of the time, they have just lost their spouse and they are getting my product because they are now alone. Sometimes I hear about their regrets, like not having been patient or loving enough with their loved ones. It's sad because there's no going back. <br /><br />So I have developed the '<em>One Week Test</em>' for my husband. Whenever I feel irritated or impatient with him, I ask myself, how would I be reacting to this if he had one week left to live? <br /><br />It helps to put things in perspective and really shows you what is important and what is not. I've been listening to you since the very beginning! Your wisdom and guidance are the reasons for my happy marriage. <br /><br />Take care, <br /><br />Ann <br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a secret of success for your marriage? Send us an email and tell us what it is, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-12T17:57:00Z
Nuggets of Wisdom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Nuggets-of-Wisdom/594285142187302458.html
2016-10-11T17:58:00Z
2016-10-11T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Several years ago, I listened to you daily. I loved your style, appreciated your candor and took many things to heart. At the time in my life, I was going through a divorce. I felt as if I was drowning. No one on the outside would ever have known the struggles I let surface when alone at night. <br /><br />The fears, the wonder of how long I could do this and the plain, enduring fatigue of the demands on me. I grew up as an athlete. I was disciplined and I learned young that you pushed through whatever you had to push through. The nuggets of wisdom I gleaned from listening to you were never so blatant that I knew it was happening. Instead, it slowly crept into my parenting, my relationship with a demanding mother and my career. You supported me when I didn't even know I would need it. <br /><br />I just wanted you to know, there are so many times you say something and I have an epiphany. I'm thankful to know...when I did feel alone and doubtful, you had given me strength to be what I needed to be. Even when I didn't know where it came from. <br /><br />Thank you, <br /><br />Ken <br /><br /><br /><br />What have you gained from listening to the show? Send us an email and tell us about the film, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-11T17:58:00Z
Family Bonding
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Family-Bonding/8982829292399994.html
2016-10-11T17:57:00Z
2016-10-11T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just wanted to thank you for your "<em><a href="/g/Making-Your-House-A-Home/342.html" target="_blank">make your house a home</a></em>" ideas! It is because of you we now have 'show and tell' nights on Sunday evenings. It brings the whole family together. <br /><br />We tell stories to each other about our past and special things in our life. It helps our kids see their parents in a different light. I even came out in my wedding dress one night for show and tell. That was a hoot! <br /><br />Our son was in the hospital today for a bad fall he had at the pool and as they were prepping him for stitches he was bragging to the doctor that he has shown and tell with his parents and sister every Sunday. He wanted to be better as soon as possible because here were only 4 more days until the next one. <br /><br />I appreciate you always giving us ideas on how to bond us as a family and putting family first. <br /><br /><br /><br />How do you and your family bond? Send us an email and tell us how, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-10-11T17:57:00Z
Avoid the Criticism
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Avoid-the-Criticism/-469110613934099131.html
2016-10-07T17:58:00Z
2016-10-07T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />A little while ago, you asked for ideas for maintaining a good marriage. My suggestion is to know when to keep your mouth shut. It took me a lot to learn how to be a good partner. <br /><br />Example: On my birthday, my wonderful bride brought home a 1/2 gallon of Eggnog. This is my holiday weakness. She brought the "full" variety. I always buy the "<em>lite</em>" to save some fat calories Yes I know both are not health food. I might have said: "<em>Why didn't you buy the lite?</em>" But, I kept my mouth shut. <br /><br />She made a kind and thoughtful act and why would I want to hurt her by being critical? Sure, this is a small matter, but the small, everyday matters add up. In a marriage, know when to keep your mouth shut, is critical. Look for the good and avoid criticism. <br /><br /><br /></p>
Have you ever had to sugar coat something to your spouse that you didn't like? Send us an email and tell us about the film, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-07T17:58:00Z
New Gifts
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/New-Gifts/-929998261103700612.html
2016-10-07T17:57:00Z
2016-10-07T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I just wanted to share something with you that has helped me and may help your callers that have a problem with weight and food. I am a member of Overeaters Anonymous. It is an anonymous 12 step program, based on AA, which addresses compulsive overeating and compulsive food behaviors. <br /><br />In addition to so many other gifts the program has given me, it offers a fellowship of people that share their own experience and recovery which helps us with our own. The program is free, other than passing a basket at each meeting. I have lost over 50 pounds! I have maintained that weight loss for nearly 8 years, without crazy diets, exercise regimes, therapy, gym memberships, pills, doctors, and anything else I had previously used to "<em>fix</em>" the problem. Today I have a fairly normal relationship with food, a normal body weight, and gifts beyond my wildest dreams.</p>
<br /><br />Do you have any recommendations? Send us an email and tell us about them, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-07T17:57:00Z
I'll Try
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ill-Try/69910945704715505.html
2016-10-06T17:58:00Z
2016-10-06T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura: <br /><br />Just wanted to share a line from a movie that I thought you would enjoy. <br /><br />It's in the movie "<em><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2381111/">Brooklyn</a></em>" The main character is a young girl from Ireland who is homesick; her face and attitude reflect that. She's working at an upscale department store in Brooklyn. Her supervisor, who noticed that the young girls' sadness. As she began turning off the customers, he tells the young girl she needs to look and act more cheerful. <br /><br /></p>
<blockquote>The young girl replies: "<em>okay, I'll try</em>".<br /><br /> To which her supervisor responds: "No, don't try, just do it...did you 'try' to put on your panties this morning?" <br /><br />To which the young girl responds: "no I just did" <br /><br />The supervisor replies: "well there you go".</blockquote>
<br />When I heard this exchange, I, or course, thought of you. Anyway, I've been listening to you off and on since I first saw you on the Donahue show, and I think you are absolutely BRILLIANT! Keep fighting the good fight...you do make a difference!<br /><br /><br /><br />Is there a movie that you want to share with Dr. Laura? Send us an email and tell us about the film, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-10-06T17:58:00Z
An Educational Movie
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/An-Educational-Movie/-303983404654020273.html
2016-10-06T17:57:00Z
2016-10-06T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />After hearing a caller today and her struggles with her autistic child, I thought I should write to let you and your listeners know of a film about a family's journey with their autistic son, Owen Suskind. <br /><br />The film is "<em><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3917210/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1" target="_blank">Life, Animated</a></em>" and is based on a book written by his father, Ron Suskind, who was a WSJ reporter. I had an opportunity to see this film at a festival, and both Owen's parents were present to relay some additional first-hand experiences. It is a delightful and very well-done film. It will leave you standing and cheering for Owen, who is now 23. <br /><br />Owen's parents were able to begin communicating with Owen when they noticed he was repeating dialogue word-for-word from Disney animated features and could even imitate the voices. He was making sense of his world through the characters, whether it be joy, disappointment, friendship, etc. Owen began a "<em>Disney Club</em>" at the special school he was attending. He would lead meetings by showing a part of the movie and then stop it and ask questions of his classmates, and they would talk about their thoughts. It is a movie the entire family can view, enjoy and learn from.<br /><br /><br /><br />Is there a movie you think Dr. Laura would enjoy? Send us an email and share, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-10-06T17:57:00Z
The Pain of Divorce Still Lingers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Pain-of-Divorce-Still-Lingers/-618125454710411267.html
2016-10-05T17:58:00Z
2016-10-05T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br /> I have to share some thoughts with you about the step parenting issue. You are SO on the money when you tell us that people should not marry and divorce when minor kids are involved. I am both a step parent and a step child. <br /><br />I wasn't a listener at the time and didn't give the issue much thought, since it was all too familiar to me. Now, every time I hear you warn parents not to divorce because of the kids, I would feel hurt. I thought I was over my parents' divorce and remarriage since we had all grown up with lives and families of our own, but the pain lingers on. <br /><br />I embraced what you said about having a second chance of a good parent and child relationship and decided to apply it to a good step parent and step child relationship. I became pensive when my son and I recently traveled 3000 miles to visit my dad and step mom. As I looked around my dad's house, I noticed that I did not see one picture of my brother and me anywhere. I didn't say anything, but I could not help but observe this. A lightbulb went off in my head. I looked around my own house and noticed that my son and my side of the family are the stars of the show, except for one family portrait with my step son in it. It occurred to me that my stepson probably felt the same way I did. <br /><br />I came across some pictures of my step son and his grandpa, which I am going to blow up and hang up on the living room wall. He is all grown up and lives far away right now, but will return next summer. When he comes, I want to be here to see his face light up as he looks at the new pictures. I refuse, refuse to make my step son feel the way I felt about being excluded from the "<em>hall of fame</em>" so to speak. I have long ago written my step son a letter of apology for my behavior back in the day, and things only got better from there. <br /><br />In fact, I thanked my husband tonight for staying married to me when he could have walked. That would have been one more loss for my step son. Thank you for all your words of wisdom and admonition to families. Hopefully, many of your listeners will take your words to heart and their children won't have to go through what my step son and I both had to go through when we were kids. We, your fans love you very much and have nothing but respect and admiration for all you do. You are stronger than you know. Take good care. I am so glad that you are on the mend. Stay healthy we need you. <br /><br />Sincerely, Your fan Lexi<br /><br /><br /><br />Is there a memory of your parents that you have sworn not to repeat? Send us an email and tell us why, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-10-05T17:58:00Z
Making Sense of the Senseless
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Sense-of-the-Senseless/-65984926112652706.html
2016-10-05T17:57:00Z
2016-10-05T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I want to thank you for your vignette about the incidents detailed in the book, '<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Cold-Blood-Truman-Capote/dp/0679745580" target="_blank">In Cold Blood</a></em>'. <br /><br />You put such a good perspective on the murders, if there is one, I especially liked that you did not approve of Truman Capote's relationship with one of the murderers. I work in a jail, teaching GED prep classes and I see senseless things happen over and over again. <br /><br />Your program makes sense out of the senseless and helps in so many ways. Many people who heard you today may get <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truman_Capote" target="_blank">Truman Capote</a>'s book and I hope they do. People with these types of disorders may be beyond help and will not turn into good people. They believe anything they hear if an idea is planted. Thank you for sharing your talents with us. <br /><br />A faithful listener<br /><br /><br />Is there a book you'd like to share with Dr. Laura? Send us an email and tell us what it is, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-10-05T17:57:00Z
Got My 'Happy' Back
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Got-My-Happy-Back/854420972730786826.html
2016-10-04T17:58:00Z
2016-10-04T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura: <br /><br />I wanted to say thank you for giving me my 'happy' back. A few weeks ago, you started out your show with your topic stating that if people would just do this one thing; the divorce rate would be less than 1%. The problem with marriage these days is a result of us women. I think at this moment my mouth dropped open and I looked at the person in the car next to me as I drove home, wondering if they just heard what you said. I was certainly intrigued with where you might be going so I continued to listen. You referenced John F. Kennedy and his famous speech, "<em>ask not what you can</em> "......, etc. You said we should apply that to our marriage, every day. <br /><br />I don't know what else was said the rest of your show that day, because all of the sudden, the combination of your words from that segment lit me up like a bulb. I started to think about all the things that I do and get upset at with regards to my husband. What if the tables were turned? Would I stay and put up with him doing that to me? I woke up the next morning and just kept repeating to myself "w<em>hat can I do for my marriage today</em>". The first thing was to smile for myself - smile, be happy. Then the next day, "<em>what can I do for my marriage today</em>". Each day this task felt refreshing and happy to me. <br /><br />It's like giving up extra pounds on my body that were never needed in the first place. Little things that I felt I didn't need to do for my husband I have started doing I am just talking about rubbing his arm when we watch TV - he doesn't ask me to do this, I just know he likes it. But before, I always felt there had to be something in it for me like a tit for tat kind of thing. I continue to wake up each morning thinking "<em>what can I do for my marriage today</em>"; and I have to say it is spreading more and more into my being as a person. <br /><br />I applaud you for this segment because it changed my life and I just wanted to say - THANK YOU. <br /><br />Mandy<br /><br /><br /><br />What do you do each day for your marriage? Send us an email and tell us why, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-10-04T17:58:00Z
I'm Still Happy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Still-Happy/-939169915500280095.html
2016-10-04T17:57:00Z
2016-10-04T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />My childhood was filled with alcoholic parents, bad childhood experiences, and looking for love in all the wrong places. I have broken all the Dr. Laura rules and needed to change. <br /><br />So now, my parents, sister and little brother are gone. I have never had kids . I have just reconnected with my older brother after 10 years! I have two dogs and am celebrating 25 years clean and sober this week! I am not in a relationship and don't have a desire to be in one. I am not lonely and live each day without regrets. I have several nieces and nephews and two great nieces. I have a few very close and longtime friends and am content. <br /><br />In closing, you can get over the crappy parts of life and STILL live happy!<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you changes your life and found happiness? How did you do it? Send us an email and tell us how, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-10-04T17:57:00Z
Making Marriage Great
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Marriage-Great/-188047362578102615.html
2016-10-03T17:58:00Z
2016-10-03T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I married the man that I thought was the man of my dreams. It started 40 years ago, I was only 19. I didn't know a thing about love or marriage, except what I saw between my parents. They were a great example! My mom and dad taught me to fight for what I care about and to never give up. <br /><br />I didn't and neither did my husband. My husband was diagnosed manic-depressive back in 1982. There were times when he was feeling better. And there were times when he would quit taking his medication too. He now takes his medication exactly as he should. What a ride! Thankfully, he never treated me badly and he always held a good job; so that I could stay home with our two children. <br /><br />There were days when we didn't like each other, but we got over it. We went through some really rough times. We've always loved each other - and when the really hard times hit, we decided that we really did like each other enough to fight to make our marriage a great one. <br /><br />This is not the marriage or the man of my dreams - it's a whole lot better! Going to celebrate in Hawaii next month! It is a huge deal that my husband is doing this for me because he hates to fly. I will always be my husband's girlfriend and my kid's mom! <br /><br />Thank you for your guidance over the years.<br /><br /><br /><br />Why are you happy that you married your spouse? Send us an email and tell us why, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-10-03T17:58:00Z
I Never Had A Choice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Never-Had-A-Choice/408244763831516075.html
2016-10-03T17:57:00Z
2016-10-03T17:57:00Z
<p><br />When I was single, I was not a chick magnet, so I was easily pleased. As a result, I went out rarely and typically with bizarre people. I never asked myself, "<em>should I be with this person?</em>" My only concern was, "<em>will she go out with me again?</em>" So it wasn't heart, it was just desperation. I never felt I had the luxury of choice. Any choice was up to the woman. <br /><br />I am now married to a woman who grew up in a bad environment. She was the 6th of 9 children. The first five, by one husband and the last 3 by second husband. My wife was born in the middle after an affair between her Mom and the shoe repair guy down the street. Her father never accepted her. When I met her she was coming off a divorce from 20-year marriage, with a 9-year-old son and a grown daughter. She was living on food stamps and '<em>government butter'</em> as she called it. She had managed to get secretarial training and was able to survive in a job at local community college. <br /><br />I figured she may go out with me. We dated for 22 years and we married in 2010. We decided that we should marry because of our age and the need to have each other to take care of us when illness or disability struck. In spite of all of it, she is still working at age 69 as an office administrator in the same job she has had for 30+ years. She loves her job and has a great boss. I retired at the end of 1997. We are both happy in our marriage and good for each other. <br /><br />So head or heart? Or just 22 years of patience? <br /><br /><br /><br />Are you patient enough for marriage and kids? Send us an email and tell us why, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-10-03T17:57:00Z
I Won the Dr. Laura Lottery
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Won-the-Dr.-Laura-Lottery/-803098969853425636.html
2016-09-30T17:58:00Z
2016-09-30T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Several weeks ago you were speaking about saying thank you. This topic of "giving thanks" has caused me write to you again. <br /><br />The title of my email comes from the fact that when I called the show a number of years ago you made a comment at the end of the call, that I was a classy guy. Shortly after that, I discovered an essay that I had written to my dad before he died. I sent it to you so you could also share in this memory with me. Then my essay was featured as the email of the day! <br /><br />I feel as though I have won the Dr. Laura lottery. Thank you for your kind comment and taking the time to read what I had written. There are many of us who have looked to you for guidance and support over the years. Please know, we are there to support you as well. <br /><br />Respectfully, <br /><br />Scott<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever felt like you just won the lottery? Send us an email and tell us why, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-09-30T17:58:00Z
I'm Still A Guy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Still-A-Guy/-422901142563145903.html
2016-09-30T17:57:00Z
2016-09-30T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />On my way to work this morning, I heard this song and found myself not only laughing out loud, but thinking how much you would love this song. Especially these days, it just says it all.<br /><br />Enjoy!<br /><br /><br /><iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/DaREbWRAEaA" frameborder="0"></iframe></p>
<p><br /><br />What do you think of guys in this day in age? Send us an email and share, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-09-30T17:57:00Z
Dreaming of Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dreaming-of-Dr.-Laura/-163569447099972582.html
2016-09-29T17:58:00Z
2016-09-29T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I had to share this dream, even my subconscience agrees with you...</p>
<p><br />The dream was my clone and the clone of another person. After telling this person how much I loved and "felt" her mind, the reality was that my time had passed. There was obviously not enough of the very important things in common like hobbies, interests, values. And of course we were aware that we were from two very different worlds; me from Earth and she from her world in my dream. <br /><br />So with very deep regret, we simply agreed to just accept what might have been with everlasting memories if circumstances were different. SEE! Love really is not enough to make it work. Even my brain in REM sleep agrees.<br /><br />Many thanks for all you do for others for free! </p>
<p>Always... <br /><br /> Lenard<br /><br /><br /><br />What do you dream about? Send us an email and share, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-09-29T17:58:00Z
Making My Marriage Great
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-My-Marriage-Great/469067073477789827.html
2016-09-29T17:57:00Z
2016-09-29T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Just a quick note to thank you for truly making my marriage great. My wife listens to you every day. She models what a true helpmate is. I am truly blessed. Your advice if heeded will help heal a lot of folks and their wounds. <br /><br />Your advice also makes folks check their motives. If we truly reach out to help our spouse, the kindness will rekindle love! <br /><br />Greg<br /><br /> </p>
<p>What do you to help your spouse feel blessed like Greg? Send us an email and share, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-09-29T17:57:00Z
I am No Longer Trapped By My Anxiety
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-am-No-Longer-Trapped-By-My-Anxiety/707235004381634364.html
2016-09-28T17:58:00Z
2016-09-28T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura! <br /><br />You had a female caller during the <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/programhighlights?date=20160923&pid=112786" target="_blank">first hour of your show last Friday</a>, that sounded very much like myself ten years ago. I just had to pull my car over to listen to the rest of the call. <br /><br />I too used to suffer from <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder" target="_blank">Body Dysmorphic Disorder</a> and also endured over 25 years of '<em>Talk Therapy</em>' to no avail. I was so acne-phobic that I could barely leave my house! I also used terms like your caller; such as "<em>having a bad face day</em>". It got to the point where my friends and family stopped inviting me places, because I'd seldom show up. I finally tried <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy" target="_blank">Cognitive Behavioral Therapy</a> and more importantly, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exposure_therapy" target="_blank">Exposure Therapy</a>. Within two short years, I was practically cured! <br /><br />I am no longer trapped within my own anxieties. I now can make plans, go on trips, and <strong>*gulp*</strong> leave my house WITHOUT MAKEUP ON! A feat I would've laughed at a decade ago. There are so many people out there too ashamed and embarrassed to find appropriate help for this very isolating disorder. <br /><br />As always, than you for being my voice of reason and surrogate mom! <br /><br />~Amy</p>
<p><br /><br />Do you have any experiences with BDD? Send us an email and share, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-09-28T17:58:00Z
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Actions-Speak-Louder-Than-Words/397427322989078809.html
2016-09-28T17:57:00Z
2016-09-28T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Our kids see we're playful and real. We don't get along all of the time and they see us disagree about stuff. They know we're human. <br /><br />We hug, we kiss and we take of each other. You don't have to be overly affectionate and gross to prove your love for each other. It's simple things, gestures that are most meaningful... your favorite candy or a special dinner for no reason. It's making your coffee and bringing it to you. It's making soup from scratch when you're sick because that's what makes you feel better. <br /><br />Being thoughtful towards each other shows love that sometimes words cannot explain.</p>
<p><br /><br />What does 'being thoughtful' mean to you? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-09-28T17:57:00Z
In My Opinion, As A Millennial
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/In-My-Opinion,-As-A-Millennial/-727756570555127923.html
2016-09-27T17:58:00Z
2016-09-27T17:58:00Z
<p><br />The kind of woman that deserves being valued and taken care of is a woman who respects herself and has morals. <br /><br />The problem with dating today, from my perspective as a millennial is: <br /><br /></p>
<ol>
<li>People don't teach their sons and daughters what real responsible grown men and women do and do not do. They teach that it is acceptable to continue with childish, teen behavior well into their 30's. </li>
<br />
<li>They don't teach their daughters about respecting themselves as a human being or the harsh realities and truths about actions and outcomes. </li>
<br />
<li>People raise children who grow into adults that believe they are entitled to everyone's respect for merely existing. <strong>They need to teach them that you earn respect through consistency, actions and respecting yourself. </strong></li>
<br />
<li>There is a shortage of "<em>real</em>" men and women because of the way we have been raised. The acceptance of the adult child in society as a normal way of living and being. This is something I find to be so troublesome.</li>
</ol>
<p><br />I may be "<em>too traditional</em>" for some people but I honestly, don't care, and will continue with certain expectations. I will be the best woman I can be with the same consistency, and loyalty. You don't give these things to just anyone- they earn them. <br /><br /><br /><br />What do you think of dating and millennials? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-09-27T17:58:00Z
Showing Your Kids By Example
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Showing-Your-Kids-By-Example/-229232256385870179.html
2016-09-27T17:57:00Z
2016-09-27T17:57:00Z
<p><br />While our boys were growing up, they saw everything. They saw us helping each other, enjoying outings together, and talking out important issues. We were not ashamed to show reasonable (not boudoir) physical affection. <br /><br />We've most always been calm around them, to the point that if one of us was extremely disappointed it affected them. Those times were always followed by us talking it through with the boys too, so they didn't feel like the happy home life was threatened. <br /><br />We ended up with two fine young men with hearts of gold, great communication and people skills, respectful and mindful of others. We are definitely proud of the men they've become. I'm glad they learned well.<br /><br /><br />How do you KNOW your kids see the love between you and your spouse? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-09-27T17:57:00Z
Cowboy Logic
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cowboy-Logic/-624289031214696517.html
2016-09-26T17:58:00Z
2016-09-26T17:58:00Z
<p><br />You act like a gentleman until she proves she's not a lady. Then you do it anyways because that's what makes you a man! I've seen this in action and it's amazing. <br /><br />And that woman who doesn't act like a lady.... more often than not starts acting like one because of the way he is conducting himself. I'm not implying that men have to be gentlemen in order for a woman to act like a lady. I'm a woman so I reversed the cowboy logic and I act like a lady no matter how the man is acting! I've had the reverse happen to, where the crude man started cleaning up their language and acting more gentlemanly while around me.<br /><br />If you act polite and like you have manners, it can be contagious. <br /><br /><br /><br />What do you do when someone isn't acting appropriately? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-09-26T17:58:00Z
Brilliant
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Brilliant/400820932318039190.html
2016-09-26T17:57:00Z
2016-09-26T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura! </p>
<p>I've listened to you for 23 years, and I had to stop what I was doing to write you and tell you something. <br /><br />Your advice to the 18-year-old girl dating the 26-year-old man was BRILLIANT! I loved it, and I know you helped so many other listeners with that one call. <br /><br />Please keep up the good work! Love you and your good work!<br /><br />Julie<br /><br /> <br /><br />Did Dr. Laura say something you liked? Send us an email and tell us what it was and why you liked it, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-09-26T17:57:00Z
Your Definition Of Guilt Changed My Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Your-Definition-Of-Guilt-Changed-My-Life/-169171481701523267.html
2016-09-23T17:58:00Z
2016-09-23T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I found you a couple years ago on Sirius, by way of a dear friend who has been a long time listener. She would quote your brilliance as we would be talking among girlfriends about the everyday challenges of relationships, marriages and raising children. So I began listening, understanding, and healing. <br /><br />Too busy with trying to keep up with life, I have pushed much needed therapy further and further down the list of priorities. I learn something from you every day. I learn so much in fact, that I have started my "<em>DLJ</em>" - my Dr. Laura Journal. Darting in and out of dental offices all day long, I only get snippets of your show, and it frequently seems like you are talking directly to me. Now I write down what I have learned. Later, I go back and marinade on it and learn even more. <br /><br />Dr. Laura, you taught me about guilt. More specifically, what guilt is not. That has changed my life. Guilt has been my dark companion for many years. Knowing now, what guilt is and is not, I have freed myself of the guilt, because it has no place. I did nothing intentionally wrong. I no longer need forgiveness from those who are not present to give it, for me to heal and move on. The levity is indescribable. Thank you Dr. Laura. You are so right when you say that you never know just how what you say to one person on the air, will affect another listener. You have helped me in countless ways. Thank you, Dr. Laura, from the bottom of my heart. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Karen<br /><br /><br /><br />Has Dr. Laura helped to change your life? Send us an email and tell us how, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-09-23T17:58:00Z
I Keep My Mouth Shut
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Keep-My-Mouth-Shut/-949646895249455196.html
2016-09-23T17:57:00Z
2016-09-23T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I remember your advice to a past listener, you said the daughter-in-law was the lioness at the gate. If the mother-in-law wanted to see her grandchildren, she would have to comply with her daughter-in-law's wishes. <br /><br />We rarely get to see our grandchildren because their parents keep them so busy that we only get the occasional babysitting. Once in a while we get to share a birthday party or the occasional holiday. <br /><br />In order for our grandchildren to know who we are, I keep my mouth shut! This ensures that we can see them once in a while. You were so right! Thank you for always looking out for children and helping show us an easy way to keep the peace. <br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a special way you handle your in-laws? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-09-23T17:57:00Z
I Still Miss My Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Still-Miss-My-Dad/949439169397967127.html
2016-09-22T17:58:00Z
2016-09-22T17:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I listen to your podcast in the evening while doing my "<em>chores</em>". I was listening recently when a young lady came on whose father had died. She and her father had shared a love for music. My father and I also shared a love strong love for music. <br /><br />When you had her start singing to him in Heaven, I started sobbing like a little 16-year-old. I was 16 when he died suddenly of a heart attack. Your advice is always spot-on but this one touched a chord with me. <br /><br />Thank you for touching an "<em>old broad</em>" who still misses her Dad after 44 years. <br /><br /><br /><br />What do you miss most about your parents? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-09-22T17:58:00Z
Don't Focus On The Negative
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dont-Focus-On-The-Negative/804909300717710271.html
2016-09-22T17:57:00Z
2016-09-22T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I have the most amazing relationship with my daughter in law. I approached this new marriage the same way I had with my daughter and son-in-law years ago. I enjoyed her company, I kept quiet, and I supported her. <br /><br />They have now been married eight years and have two precious daughters. They have lived with us twice when they were getting back on their feet. We took care of their daughter at nights while they worked. They now own two businesses and are homeowners. They have little to no child care, as they are committed to raising their daughters. <br /><br />My daughter-in-law asks advice from time to time. I also ask her questions about her values and beliefs, although sometimes I do tell her how I'd handle a situation. She is a bright, intelligent, focused young woman who is a great friend and I appreciate her. I am convinced the key is to appreciate and support the other person. Focus on what you want more of and disregard the negatives. <br /><br /><br /><br />How do you handle your relationship with your in-laws? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-09-22T17:57:00Z
I Was Afraid To Be Alone
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Was-Afraid-To-Be-Alone/-590288386893509148.html
2016-09-21T17:58:00Z
2016-09-21T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I went through my first heartbreak 8 months ago. I thought he was the best thing since sliced bread and I was determined to do anything to get him back. He left me for another woman and I was devastated. I thought there was something wrong with me and that it was all my fault.</p>
<p>Just by listening to your calls you helped me realized that I have to love myself first, that I deserve to be loved. Every time I had the urge to call you, I always would listen to another caller first. You would usually remind them of their own self-worth and that they shouldn't stay in such toxic relationships. I can't believe that I was a woman who was afraid to be alone.</p>
<p>Now, I've embraced myself so much that I don't need a man to make myself happy. I know my self-worth and I will wait for the day to find a man who would love me and respect me for what I am.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for helping me realize this!<br /><br /><br /><br />What have you learned from Dr. Laura? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-09-21T17:58:00Z
Hardships And Joys
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hardships-And-Joys/-278138804319833957.html
2016-09-21T17:57:00Z
2016-09-21T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />My parents were great for the most part. We usually only had problems when they drank. At least once per week I promised myself I would not subject my children to this kind of upbringing.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, the wonderful woman I married developed some bad health conditions. From that point on it was like a hell on earth. I tried in vain to create happiness for her. She just wouldn't Or couldn't respond in the same fashion. <strong>I did not turn to alcohol </strong>but spent many a day in dread and despair.</p>
<p>My point is, no matter what one may have to endeavor in life, it sometimes does not produce the desired results. Life is full of both hardship and joys. I'm hanging around for the joys!</p>
<p>I love and appreciate you Dr. Laura.<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you handle your hardships? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-09-21T17:57:00Z
Remembering Those We Lost
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Remembering-Those-We-Lost/860999444438230020.html
2016-09-20T17:58:00Z
2016-09-20T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just listened to you give advice to a woman who had watched her mother pass and she couldn't get the image out of her head. I encourage you to listen to a song from a show called <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elegies_(William_Finn)" target="_blank">Elegies</a>. The song is called Goodbye/Boom boom. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rn-65o2ClLs" target="_blank">Click here to listen to the song</a>.<br /><br />Its about someone who knew they were going to die. Its a beautiful and sad song but I think of it often when someone passes, especially my mom who died in 2001. I had been sitting vigil and stepped out for a bit. While I was gone, she passed away. I felt guilty about not being there. As time has passed, I feel that my mom left on her time and did not want me to see her go. <br /><br />We were very close and it was her final "<em>gift</em>" to me and my way of rationalizing the situation. In other words she was saying to me, "<em>You have been there for me always and I couldn't bear for you to see me die.</em>" The chorus from the song is, "<em>The living is the prize, the ending's not the story</em>." <br /><br />Best to you always! <br /><br />Tracy<br /><br /><br /><br />What song brings you back in your memories? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-09-20T17:58:00Z
How I Avoid Making Comparisons
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Avoid-Making-Comparisons/81390810251315372.html
2016-09-20T17:57:00Z
2016-09-20T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I had to think long and hard, but here are the ways that I try to avoid comparing myself to others. I think of two things. <br /><br /></p>
<ol>
<li>Instead of looking at them with a covetous attitude, I simply compliment them. I truly want to hear their stories. "<em>Hey, I love your house!</em>" "<em>How did you find the time to go back to school?</em>" "<em>I want to be like you when I grow up!</em>" The list goes on. I have always heard, if you want to be a millionaire, hang around millionaires. If I want to attain what I admire, find out how they did it. Life is too short to want to keep up with the Joneses and to be jealous of others. </li>
<br />
<li>My Biblical teachings...this guides me each time.</li>
</ol><br /><br />What do you do to help comparing yourself with others? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
Staff
2016-09-20T17:57:00Z
Reading Creates a Bond with Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Reading-Creates-a-Bond-with-Children/373824179051391964.html
2016-09-19T17:58:00Z
2016-09-19T17:58:00Z
<p><br />A few years ago, I stumbled into a great way to bond with my children while building into their lives. It began with concern over my kid's reading skills. Or more accurately, lack of skill and interest. My nine-year old son was a reluctant reader, flipping through the same simple books over and over again. My seven-year old daughter was fast and careless, skipping unfamiliar words and missing huge concepts in the plot.<br /><br /> I decided to read a book out loud to my kids, hoping to spark a love of literature while modelling proper reading strategies. My experiment was successful beyond anything I could have imagined! The kids looked forward to our bedtime reading. They were eager to answer the chapter questions, in part because I awarded candy as a reward for detailed responses. The kids didn't want to stop after the first book. We went on to read the other 6 books in the series, and then set a goal of reading 100 books together. <br /><br />Five years later, we've read 120 books as a family. As my children's comprehension and decoding skills have increased, so has their enjoyment. They're reading more and reading better. As happy as I am with the improvement in comprehension and reading skills, is the unexpected benefits that have proved the most valuable. We began our reading experiment with children in elementary school. My kids are now in middle school and high school; and we're still reading. <br /><br />When other families have hit the troubling teen years and are talking less, our family is talking more. Hundreds of hours of reading together has brought us closer and built lasting family memories. Most important, discussions sparked from the books have provided opportunities to share values and beliefs while teaching our children to reason through their decisions and beliefs. <br /><br /><strong>I remember hearing Dr. Laura say that <em>"kids spell love, T I M E." </em></strong><br /><br />I have found that to be true in my family.<br /><br />Gale <br /><br /><br /><br />What do you do to help your kids in school? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-09-19T17:58:00Z
You Cross Generations
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Cross-Generations/-790992336462507992.html
2016-09-19T17:57:00Z
2016-09-19T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I spoke to you as a follow up call from a few weeks ago. I originally called about my relationship that was not what I wanted. I broke up with him this week and called to let you know. <br /><br />I called a second time and asked about how to rebuild my self-respect. You gave me some good advice. I like that you didn't make me feel as if I'm messed up. Maybe I should be in therapy to find out why I can't seem to have a healthy relationship. I thought I was codependent and love addicted. <br /><br />Just the fact that you took my call is encouraging. Thank you for all you do. I think I mentioned that my mother used to listen to you in the 80's and now my daughters listen; and they are millennials! You cross all generations! Your basic, practical, common sense advice is always spot on! <br /><br />Thanks for all you do,<br /><br />Fae<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have something to thank Dr. Laura for? Send us an email, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-09-19T17:57:00Z
This Humbled Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/This-Humbled-Me/954606502369534624.html
2016-09-15T17:58:00Z
2016-09-15T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I came across this video today and had to share. It is such a reminder of how parents really are the center of their kid's world. <br /><br />I hope it touches your heart the way it touched mine.<br /><br /><iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Vi-QdA541zs" frameborder="0"></iframe><br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a video you want us to see? Send us an email and share it with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-09-15T17:58:00Z
Parental Irony
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parental-Irony/717690591071421387.html
2016-09-15T17:57:00Z
2016-09-15T17:57:00Z
<p><br />My parents frequently told me, "<em>You can do anything if you set your mind to it</em>." It was a given that this was anything good. <br /><br />The ironic thing is somewhere along the way, I realized that while my parents always encouraged me, they also would discourage me. "<em>Oh no don't look for a new job, you have a really good one now...</em>" Ironic to say the least. I have more examples, but they are all along the same lines. <br /><br />It took me a while to realize that I don't need their approval and I can chase my dreams. I have learned that if I set my mind to something <strong>AND work hard</strong>, I can achieve it.<br /><br /><br /><br />Have your parents ever told you anything that you realized was a catch 22 as an adult? Send us an email and tell us how you feel, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-09-15T17:57:00Z
Changing And Learning New Values
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-And-Learning-New-Values/-91116448337682306.html
2016-09-14T17:58:00Z
2016-09-14T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br /> Thank you so much for many years of great listening and great advice! Your voice is so solid. It's greatly needed in this challenging world of changing values and roles. I hope you never retire. <br /><br />My wife and I have gained much insight into our marriage and ourselves from you.</p>
<ul>
<li>We have learned to take the feelings most of the time out of many conversations and circumstances. </li>
<li>I have learned to love her more because of her effort to understand my view when she puts her emotions aside. </li>
<li>She has become more understanding and unselfish.</li>
</ul>
Thank You so much! I read a quote the other day and all I could think of was how much you would like it and also add further insight. <br /><br />Here you go:<br />
<blockquote> “<em>People are not better off when they are given maximum personal freedom to do what they want. They’re better off when they are enshrouded in commitments that transcend personal choice—commitments to family, God, craft and country.</em>” David Brooks, “<em>The Age of Possibility</em>,” New York Times, Nov. 16, 2012</blockquote>
<p><br /><br />Do you feel confused sometimes in today's view of changing roles? Send us an email and tell us how you feel, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-09-14T17:58:00Z
You Taught Me How to Think
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Taught-Me-How-to-Think/831281681615238045.html
2016-09-14T17:57:00Z
2016-09-14T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Today I fantasized about not "<em>being here</em>" so as not to have to deal with feelings of anger, disappointment, and real life. <br /><br />Then I thought, "<em>Well, today's not a good day to jump off a bridge because I'M NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR! What would they say, after all?"</em> <br /><br />That thought alone made me chuckle. It made me come home to walk the dogs, throw the ball, and remember that YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO THINK. <br /><br />That brought me around! So, the dogs are worn out, my head space is right again, and I have you to thank...again.<br /><br />Respectfully, <br /><br />Deb</p>
<p><br /><br />What have you learned from the show? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-09-14T17:57:00Z
There is No Guarantee
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/There-is-No-Guarantee/-185227004483635185.html
2016-09-13T17:58:00Z
2016-09-13T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I remember taking my kids to Sea World and watching a show that kept saying "<em>anything is possible if you believe!</em>" Really?! <br /><br />I hate to sound all negative, but this message seemed a little meaningless, if not ridiculous to me. I don't mean that we shouldn't try things. <br /><br />There are times when even when we really, really want something, and do ALL we can to achieve it, we have to know there is still no guarantee that all our dreams will come true. To expect anything less is unrealistic. <br /><br /><br /><br />Do you think anything is possible if you <em>believe</em>? Send us an email and tell us your opinion, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-09-13T17:58:00Z
I Love You, But I'm Not IN Love With You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Love-You,-But-Im-Not-IN-Love-With-You/-342211009580399738.html
2016-09-13T17:57:00Z
2016-09-13T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I'm writing in response to your comment yesterday, about a woman talking about loving someone, but not being <em>IN</em> love with them. I also think that was a silly statement for her to make. It reminded me of something I saw in a movie. <br /><br />A woman who told her boyfriend that she loved him, but wasn't <em>IN</em> love with him anymore. As he was gathering his things to leave, he poked her eyelid with his finger. <br /><br /></p>
<blockquote>She said: "<em>Oh My God! You poked my eye!</em>" <br /><br />He responded: "<em>No I didn't, and I poked you IN the eye.</em>" <br /><br />She responds: "<em>What's the difference...there's no difference!</em>" <br /><br />He mumbles as he leaves: "<em>Well APPARENTLY there is."</em></blockquote>
<br /><br />Do you think loving someone vs being <em>IN</em> love with them is different? Send us an email and tell us your opinion, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-09-13T17:57:00Z
A Different Perspective on Rings
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Different-Perspective-on-Rings/-340273170691201480.html
2016-09-12T17:58:00Z
2016-09-12T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />This is a different perspective about wearing wedding rings. I was married for 8 years when I started to play golf. Beginning golfers often use a death grip on the club, until they learn differently. My ring was becoming uncomfortable so I stopped wearing it. I am almost 81-years-old and still play golf. <br /><br />After so many years of not wearing the ring, it no longer fits on my finger. Several years ago, I bought myself a ring that fits on my hand. My wife and I will celebrate 53 years this November. Wearing the ring is my way of making a statement that I have a significant other to whom I committed to until death do we part.<br /><br /><br /><br />What do you think of wedding rings? Send us an email and tell us your opinion, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-09-12T17:58:00Z
A Word of Caution for Parents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Word-of-Caution-for-Parents/435992705930593765.html
2016-09-12T17:57:00Z
2016-09-12T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />I read this article this morning on a walk while my kids are in school. I don't even have words, other than- You. Are. Right. <br /><strong><a href="http://kdvr.com/2016/09/12/toddler-suffocates-after-daycare-worker-sits-on-beanbag-chair-he-was-playing-under/" target="_blank"><br />Toddler suffocates after day care worker sits on beanbag chair he was playing under</a></strong></p>
<p>Just a word of caution to all parents out there!<br /><br />What is your opinion of daycare? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-09-12T17:57:00Z
Never Again
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Never-Again/-704835106770660303.html
2016-09-09T17:58:00Z
2016-09-09T17:58:00Z
<p><br />When I was a kid, my brother and I threw an egg at a lady's house. We figured she was mean since she never liked us playing football on the grass at church. Our church was across the street from her home. <br /><br />She knew we threw the egg. There was no hiding it. She did what any adult would do and she complain to our parents about it. As a kid, I thought she deserved the egg we threw. Well, my dad thought otherwise. <br /><br />I'll never forget, some 40 years later, that horrible feeling I had my brother and I knocked on the lady's door to apologize. My dad standing sternly at the end of her driveway, where he could hear everything happening. <br /><br />Needless to say, we never did that again!<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a memory of your parents teaching you a life lesson? Send us an email and tell us about it, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-09-09T17:58:00Z
Everything Changed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Everything-Changed/-976620450148170434.html
2016-09-09T17:57:00Z
2016-09-09T17:57:00Z
<p><span><span><br />I feel that the the 60's culture that turned love into something it was not meant to be. I was a teen in the mid 60's. I was taught that sex was necessary to have and keep a relationship; but that was a lie. <br /><br />I went through my whole life and had many failed relationships because of believing in this ideal.</span></span><span><span><span> I learned that relationships only lasted until the sex became boring to my man. Then he would move on to someone or something else. Commitment was easily broken. I learned I was not respected and the family institution wasn't respected. No one cared how it effected the children. Their selfishness and desire for their own comfort was all that was important. <br /></span><br /><span>It has only perpetuated further now days. Marriage is not respected. Many avoid it altogether because they know it doesn't mean anything to them. Living together for convenience is the goal. Dr. Laura, I wish you were around to guide me when I was young, I wish I was smart enough to follow your advice. I'm smart now but have wasted my early years of life. I didn't provide the best life for my three children because of my ignorance and bad choices. If I could go back and change it I would. I would hold intimacy as very special. <strong>I would not just give it away in hopes of keeping a relationship.</strong> Young women now days are even more misled into this false hope.</span></span></span></p>
<p><br /><br />What do you think changed today's view on marriage? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-09-09T17:57:00Z
A Letter to My Breadwinner Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Letter-to-My-Breadwinner-Husband/683867241044714127.html
2016-09-08T17:58:00Z
2016-09-08T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I read this, and after forwarding it to my wonderful hubby, I immediately thought of you. <br /><br /></p>
<blockquote><em>"<strong>It is the steady breadwinner husband, men like you, who allow women like me to live such comfortable lives.<br /><br /></strong>It is because of your willingness to work full time, year round—with no freedom to tell your boss “I quit!” and with no sabbatical to think about what other things you’d like to do with your life, and with no ability to have time just for you smack in the middle of a workweek that my life, and our kids’ lives, are as wonderful as they are.</em>
<p><em>Even when the kids got older and I “went back to work,” so to speak, you and I never had to fight over who can take that business trip or who can take off work when our kids were sick. It was always I who stayed home, and it was always you who went to work.</em></p>
<p><em>It was a win-win for everyone."</em></p>
</blockquote>
<p><br />Click Here to read more of: <a href="http://suzannevenker.com/commentary/a-letter-to-my-breadwinner-husband/" target="_blank"><em>A Letter to My Breadwinner Husband</em></a></p>
<p>Blessings,<br /><br />Karin<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you show your breadwinner you appreciate them? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-09-08T17:58:00Z
Men & Women Have Different Needs
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Men--Women-Have-Different-Needs/565965782972135645.html
2016-09-08T17:57:00Z
2016-09-08T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been listening to you on the radio for a couple of years now and I feel you provide a great service. I am particularly impressed with your knowledge of marital relationships and I am happy you are able to provide guidance to so many lost souls. I have learned from you and other sources how important it is for a person to acknowledge, understand, and even respect their spouse's needs in a relationship. I think many people don't understand how different the relationship needs of a man and woman are and how much damage can be done to a marriage by not giving your spouse what he or she needs. <br /><br />My wife and I have been married for 15 years and it has been a very rough marriage at times. I now understand what her relationship needs are and I am doing my best to fill them. I don't know what our future holds but thanks to you, I am better able to survive this relationship and am now better prepared.<br /><br /><br /><br />How different do you think men and women really are? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-09-08T17:57:00Z
It Makes Me Smile
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Makes-Me-Smile/967978082011183492.html
2016-09-07T17:58:00Z
2016-09-07T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />I just want to thank you, Dr. Laura for giving good advice for so long. When I was working in sales and driving my car all day, I used to listen to you on the car radio. <br /><br />Sometimes a call would really resonate with me. I would think, <em>"I wish someone had said that to me when I was younger.</em>" So I started saying what I'd heard you say to my grandchildren. <br /><br />Today, one of my granddaughters posted one of your quotes on her Facebook page. It made me smile. So thank you, Dr. Laura, for being there for so many of us. It matters. <br /><br />Warm regards,<br /><br /> Kathy <br /><br /><br /><br />What small thing makes you smile? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-09-07T17:58:00Z
Non-Marriages and Babies Never Work Out
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Non-Marriages-and-Babies-Never-Work-Out/346017178329553419.html
2016-09-07T17:57:00Z
2016-09-07T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />I listen to you every day when I pick my boys up from school. I found out some wonderful news that a friend of mine is expecting her first baby. My 12-year-old said to tell her congratulations and then asked if she was married. I said she was. <br /><br />He replied, "<em>Good, because non-marriages and babies never work out.</em>" <br /><br />Made me a proud mom! <br /><br /><br /><br />What small thing makes you a proud Mommy? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-09-07T17:57:00Z
I Fell In Love Fast
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Fell-In-Love-Fast/-48847263645847118.html
2016-09-06T17:58:00Z
2016-09-06T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Thanks Dr. Laura!<br /><br />I've only known my new love for a week, but I have already fallen head over heels! We met online.People posted some negative comments about my love, but there were lots of positive comments too! <br /><br />Then we got together and after two nights of sleeping with my love, I knew this was the one for me! Dr. Laura, I know you say it takes much longer, but I am hooked. It's all thanks to you. <br /><br /><strong>I don't ever want to part with my new <a href="https://casper.com/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=S.US-0-Brand-Exact-Casper-Mattress&utm_content=Brand-Exact-Casper-Mattress&utm_term=casper-mattress&cvosrc=ppc.google.casper%20mattress&cvo_campaign=S.US-0-Brand-Exact-Casper-Mattress&cvo_crid=109205193603&Matchtype=e&cvo_device=c&cvo_position=1t1&cvo_network=g&cvo_adgroup=20450436243" target="_blank">Casper mattress</a> - I am in love with it! </strong><br /><br />On another note, thank you so much for what you do and for relentlessly pushing us to do the right thing. If only more people would follow your advice, the world would be a much better place. Thanks again! <br /><br />A fan since the 80's, <br /><br />Mary<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />What small thing makes you happy? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-09-06T17:58:00Z
Standing Up For Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Standing-Up-For-Mom/-628228100944661262.html
2016-09-06T17:57:00Z
2016-09-06T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I've been meaning to write this email since 2008. I know the year because 2008 is when the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clint_Eastwood" target="_blank">Clint Eastwood</a>'s movie <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1205489/" target="_blank">Gran Torino</a> was released. It was one of those movies that really got me pumped up. Afterwards, my husband and I went to one of our favorite pizza restaurants in the area. <br /><br />The tables are very close together so it is difficult not to be distracted by conversation at the next table. A teenage boy, speaking to his mother in such a rotten way that it had my hair standing straight up. My husband knows I am an avid Dr. Laura listener. The first thing out of my husband's voice with a grin was, "<em>Don't do it</em>." I didn't even have to speak a word to him; he knew exactly what I was talking about. Seated at the next table was a snotty teenager, his mother, and father. <br /><br />I was catching bits and pieces but the conversation. I overheard the Mother say to son, "Why don't you apply or work?" The son immediately replied in the most disrespectful, snotty tone, "<em>Why don't you just shut the F up</em>". The mother, being sweet and trying to gain the approval of her son, just kept walking in to the mud deeper and deeper with the responses from the son just getting more cruel and evil. I'm silent, listening while trying to enjoy my dinner. My husband responds again, "<em>don't get involved.</em>" If I hadn't just seen the movie Gran Torino, maybe that would have happened. I was so pumped up, that I had to say something. <br /><br />The family was ready to leave and I was ready to make my move. The husband and son were a few steps ahead of the mom. While mom was gathering her things, still at the table, I leaned over to her and asked why she would allow her son to treat her like garbage? I also said that she obviously did not marry a "<em>real</em>" man; with my voice emphasizing REAL. If she had, a real man would never allow a snot of a son to ever speak to his woman that way. She just stared down in silence, gave me a grin and walked away. <br /><br />I will never know if that short moment ever made an impact on her. I will always wonder what sort of conversation took place in the car on the way home or if she continued to be a door mat for her son. That was 8 years ago and I always think of that evening whenever we eat at that restaurant. Sorry for the 8 year delay Dr. Laura!<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever stood up for someone you saw getting pushed around? Send us an email and tell us what happened, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-09-06T17:57:00Z
You Are a Bright Light and Inspiration
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Are-a-Bright-Light-and-Inspiration/115107826960128572.html
2016-09-01T17:58:00Z
2016-09-01T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have listened to your show for a few years and you have really helped lift my spirits in the worst of times. Your wisdom and knowledge have encouraged me to stay strong and brave for my son. <br /><br />He is eight-years-old and has suffered from a rare anxiety disorder, called <a href="http://www.asha.org/public/speech/disorders/SelectiveMutism/" target="_blank">Selective Mutism</a>, since the age of three. It has been emotionally grueling to see my son suffer with this disorder. Every time I listen to you, I feel reassured about being a stay-at-home mom who home educates her children. Through all of the tough choices I've had to make for my son, you have played a significant role in my strength behind those decisions. <br /><br />I can't thank you enough for the stability that you have added to my life. You are a bright light and inspiration in the toughest moments. Thank you. <br /><br />With tremendous gratitude, <br /><br />Nadia<br /><br /><br /><br />What tough situations have you helped a loved one through? Send us an email and tell us your thoughts, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-09-01T17:58:00Z
Fire Up The Crock Pot
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fire-Up-The-Crock-Pot/304053676942535057.html
2016-09-01T17:57:00Z
2016-09-01T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />What a great topic Dr. Laura! I think our culture has gotten so fast pace that folks live beyond their means every day. <br /><br />Take eating out as an example. If you cook and eat at home instead of going out it is a great way to cut food costs. Fire up the crock pot. Choose less expensive cuts of meat or get your protein from legumes and beans for a few days a week. <br /><br />I think taking on a new mindset about consuming is important to living below your means.<br /><br /> You have to be "<em>ok</em>" with not having the latest thing or new car. <br /><br /><br /><br />Do you live beyond your means? What pushes you over the edge? Send us an email and tell us your thoughts, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-09-01T17:57:00Z
Thank You For the Reminders
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You-For-the-Reminders/-756664930209631297.html
2016-08-31T17:58:00Z
2016-08-31T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just wanted to thank you for being my on air friend for the last fourteen years. I have been blessed to be married to an incredible man and stay at home mom with my three kids. Now that it is time for me to head back to work I realize how much wisdom you have imparted on my life. <br /><br />Thank you for reminding me daily to welcome my husband home and be his girlfriend that can be so hard after dealing with three kids all day the joy of seeing my husband smile and wrap his warm arms around me, push all the tightened muscles in my shoulders down and help me feel at peace for the rest of the night. <br /><br />Thank you for reminding me that it is so worth it to be home with your kids. It is always said, that they grow up way to fast. My once little girl is in high school planning her homecoming girls night. <br /><br />Thank you for reminding me to laugh. I can't tell you how often I think of the "<em>put your hands in jello</em>" call and remember to relax with the kids; laugh out loud, hug and squeeze them. <br /><br />Finally, thank you for "<em>between now and dead, how do you want to live your life,</em>" such powerful words. Life is short. It should be spent living in love and happiness. It should be spent in the present rather than in the drama of the past. <br /><br />I hope you remain strong and healthy, please remember you are an incredible and respected woman. I hope you hear that often. Have wonderful day and know you have made a big impact on my life and I am forever grateful for it. <br /><br /><br /><br />What are you thankful for? Send us an email and tell us your thoughts, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-08-31T17:58:00Z
Weathering the Storm
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Weathering-the-Storm/849555478199463025.html
2016-08-31T17:57:00Z
2016-08-31T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Thank you for the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/drlaura/photos/a.260035704042982.60113.112829642096923/1134888826557661/?type=3&theater" target="_blank">quote about remaining calm</a> when little people are overwhelmed. Our family was affected by the flood in Columbia, South Carolina last October. We are so proud of the way our son and daughter-in-law handled their 8-year-old and 5-year-old. <br /><br />We thought they would be traumatized for life after having to evacuate their home in the middle of the night; seeing water pouring into their yard and home. But with bravery, determination, poise and love everyone seems to have weathered the storm. They are slowly they are returning to normal activities and school. <br /><br />It just goes to show that you are right in reminding us to share our calm instead of joining their chaos. Although, the parents were affected by the chaos too they overcame their fears for the sake of the children. <br /><br />Thank you, <br /><br />A proud and grateful NANA <br /><br /><br /><br />How do you help keep your child calm in a dangerous situation? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-08-31T17:57:00Z
Undercover Colors
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Undercover-Colors/274923814785885899.html
2016-08-30T17:58:00Z
2016-08-30T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Today while listening to <a href="/programhighlights?date=20160829" target="_blank">Monday's replay</a>, I heard the call from a woman who was date raped in college. It reminded me that I wanted to send you this information. <br /><br />There is a <a href="http://www.slashgear.com/date-rape-detecting-nail-polish-made-real-undercover-colors-22342431/" target="_blank">nail polish that is being developed</a> which, when dipped into a drink, will indicate if there are drugs present in the liquid. <br /><br />As the father of a 6 year old, I will be buying this if it gets developed for sale. Just wanted to pass it on! <br /><br /><a href="http://www.undercovercolors.com/" target="_blank">www.undercovercolors.com</a><br /><br />Best regards! <br /><br /><img style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 5px;" src="/images/blog/Screen-Shot-.jpg" alt="" width="600" height="366" /><br /><br /><br />How do you help to protect your kids against harmful social situations? Send us an email and tell us your thoughts, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-08-30T17:58:00Z
Half-Night Stands are the New Thing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Half-Night-Stands-are-the-New-Thing/626361812212355754.html
2016-08-30T17:57:00Z
2016-08-30T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just read this article, and I had to send it to you. I thought one night stands were the worst. It ends up one whole night is too long to spend with a person so now they have HALF night stands. <br /><br />People prefer not to bother with words to set up the hook up session; they just use emoji's! One lady in the article explains that sex is as meaningless as having a "<em>glass of water</em>", but she would never kiss one of those guys because that would be too "<em>intimate</em>." I recall <a href="https://www.getyarn.io/yarn-clip/9afc7bba-8d6a-4c12-88e2-8d4a3af899b2" target="_blank">a scene in Pretty Woman with Julia Roberts</a>, where she was just starting out as a prostitute and her prostitute friend told her to never kiss the guys she has sex with. <br /><br />What a crazy world we live in. If you would like to read it, <a href="http://dailym.ai/2bLRljI" target="_blank">click here</a>. <br /><br />Thank you for all you do and the values you endeavor to instill in your listeners! <br /><br /><br /><br />What do you think of this new trend? Send us an email and tell us your thoughts, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-08-30T17:57:00Z
I Marched On, I Worked My Butt Off, And Held My Own
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Marched-On,-I-Worked-My-Butt-Off,-And-Held-My-Own/291501713011642053.html
2016-08-29T17:58:00Z
2016-08-29T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I would like to respond to the young woman who called regarding being uncomfortable in the "<em>male dominated</em>" world of finance. Since I am no financial guru I cannot comment on the level of "<em>male dominance</em>" in that industry, however I can comment on my own. <br /><br />I am a 34-year-old consultant in the high rise building sector. For the past 11 years I have been surrounded by men in my business. I should add that I am happily married to a real man, whom I think walks on water and would kick the butt of any shark that tried to come near me. This does not mean, however, that I am a weak woman. 99% of my clients have been middle aged men who run buildings and construction projects. It is rare to come across a woman in this field. In 11 these years I have met TWO women who work in that industry. <br /><br />For first 5 or so years, when I was in my early 20's, I was flirted with, asked out on dates, talked down to, starred at, ignored and viewed as a "cute young lady" as it was once put, or a lesbian. However, I marched on. I worked my butt off and held my own. In time I became very knowledgeable about buildings mechanical systems and design. Over time the condescending remarks slowly became those of respect and appreciation. <br /><br /><strong>By holding my own and doing my job I PROVED that I was worthy of respect </strong>in a world where women are most often a sideshow. This should not reflect poorly on the men in the high rise operations world. Many of them helped, encouraged and taught me along the way early in my career and I owe them everything I know today. Many of them I have now known for a decade and see me as both an equal, a source of advice and a bulldog to be reckoned with when I need to be. <br /><br />I was even giving the nickname of "<em>The Queen of darkness</em>" by a contractor. Many of them have become mentors to me as well. Real men will not discourage anyone who is willing to put in hard work. So, to the young lady who thought she was just being inappropriately addressed. Act like a REAL woman and find your source of strength in the men around you instead of showing them your own weakness. That is what will bring you the respect you desire. Dress modestly, behave appropriately and you will find your strength in the sea of men.<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you find your strength in a sea of other people? Send us an email and tell us your thoughts, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-08-29T17:58:00Z
Thank You For Teaching Me The Right Thing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You-For-Teaching-Me-The-Right-Thing/796740090842729050.html
2016-08-29T17:57:00Z
2016-08-29T17:57:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Decades ago, I heard you say, "<em>Do the right thing</em>," and I have adopted that philosophy for my own life and in teaching our kids. I have been married to the same man, the father of our three children, for 29 years. I started my career as a chiropractor. When our oldest was born, I shocked myself by becoming a stay at home mom, leaving our office in the hands of my chiropractor husband. I remain grateful for that opportunity to be home as we raised our family. <br /><br />Our children, now 25, 22, and 18, have strong character and maturity. This email is sent as a thank you for the years of assistance you have provided to your listeners, and to the families you support through Operation Family Fund. What actually finally inspired me to write is the following: "<em>Cleaning up after a meal is Zen. I make a mean spaghetti sauce</em>." <br /><br />I feel the same way! I'd rather clean up after a meal than cook it. And, spaghetti sauce is one of my few signature dishes along with an AMAZING cheesecake! This, as well as many other things you say, makes me smile. <br /><br />Kind regards, <br /><br />Marka <br /><br /><br /><br />What makes you smile? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-08-29T17:57:00Z
Distracted Driving
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Distracted-Driving/-830230384487755705.html
2016-08-25T17:58:00Z
2016-08-25T17:58:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>My husband is an <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emergency_medical_technician" target="_blank">EMT</a>. Because the ambulance sits up higher than most other cars, he can see what most people are doing while they are driving. He and his partner have sort of made a game of it and have counted how many strange things people do behind the wheel. <br /><br />He says he has since lost all faith in people paying attention while driving and now assumes that no one is! He said at least half the people he sees are usually playing with their phones. As a bicyclist riding to and from work, my biggest fear is getting hit by a distracted driver!<br /><br />Thank you for bringing much needed attention to this topic!<br /><br /><br /><br />Has technology made you lose some of your faith in people? Send us an email and tell us your thoughts, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-08-25T17:58:00Z
We Didn't Always Have a Lot but We Did It
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Didnt-Always-Have-a-Lot-but-We-Did-It/-951666721865468721.html
2016-08-25T17:57:00Z
2016-08-25T17:57:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I just want to tell you that with your values I have done GOOD.<br /><br />I received my college degree in 1967. I then got married and stayed home raising my 3 children. During that time I received my Master's degree in religious studies. This was a very slow process, one evening at a time. My children are all now physicians. My daughter went to Duke on a full athletic scholarship and my sons to the Naval Academy. Go Navy! <br /><br />I have been teaching Scripture for 29 years at a private Catholic prep school. God has been good to us. My husband and I are in our 70's and we both work full time. We did not always have a lot but we did it!!! Now we have more!!!! You are a great influence on your show. Thank you!<br /><br /><br /><br />What values have you taken from Dr. Laura? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-08-25T17:57:00Z
CareGiver Options
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/CareGiver-Options/-780846648110164883.html
2016-08-24T17:58:00Z
2016-08-24T17:58:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Thank you for continuing to educate! You recently had a call from a wife and caregiver for her 2nd husband. Her children were encouraging dumping her husband into a care facility and you were right on point, "<em>what kind of children have you raised?!</em>" <br /><br />Thank you for offering other options, especially assistance with care in the home. Many of our elderly can stay in their home ongoing and continue with hospice care. Unfortunately, most people are not aware that there are many options that caregivers can access for assistance; and it comes at no cost. <br /><br />Finally, please remind women to keep enough assets for themselves. It is true they live longer than their husbands. <br /><br />THANK YOU DR LAURA! <br /><br /><br /><br />What are you doing to prepare for your future? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-08-24T17:58:00Z
Keep Your Eyes on The Road and Off Your Phone
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keep-Your-Eyes-on-The-Road-and-Off-Your-Phone/-421184238157879195.html
2016-08-24T17:57:00Z
2016-08-24T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Thank you for addressing the serious issue of being distracted while driving. My morning commute during the week is horrendous. This creates a lot of time for me to make the observation of drivers on their phones. </p>
<p>I have been rear ended twice while driving during my commute. Now more than ever, I am very aware of the drivers surrounding me, especially behind me. Every time I look in my rear view mirror while at a standstill everyone's head is down and into their phones. This steams me up to no end! These people clearly have never been in an accident.<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever been put in danger because someone was paying more attention to their phone, rather than your safety? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-08-24T17:57:00Z
Makes Sense to Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Makes-Sense-to-Me/293601394099316507.html
2016-08-23T17:58:00Z
2016-08-23T17:58:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I'm listening to an old podcast where you are asking a father why today's parents spoil their grown kids and rob them of the process of earning the things they need in life. <br /><br />I believe the answer is simple. <strong>DAYCARE. </strong><br /><br />From little itty bitty, these kids were put in daycare and never really given the opportunity learn to bond to their parents. The only way these parents feel connected to their kids is to buy them stuff. They missed all that bonding in the early years, so they are making up for it by letting them live at home forever. Very simplistic, I'm sure, but makes sense to me. <br /><br />Blessings, <br /><br />Terry<br /><br /><br /><br />What do you think about parent and child bonding? Send us an email and tell us your thoughts, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-08-23T17:58:00Z
Encouraging Exploration
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Encouraging-Exploration/338508535412980849.html
2016-08-23T17:57:00Z
2016-08-23T17:57:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>I knew my parents loved me dearly. They rarely, if ever, found fault in me. <br /><br />The real big thing they instilled in me was me was the courage to explore. My parents gave me the opportunity and courage to explore all day as child. This encouragement continued into my adulthood. As I grew, they continued to feed the fire. It gave me the courage to then travel and live throughout the world as an adult! <br /><br /><br /><br />What do you feel is the best thing your parents encouraged? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-08-23T17:57:00Z
The Lessons I Learned Stuck with Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Lessons-I-Learned-Stuck-with-Me/3519308589313415.html
2016-08-22T17:58:00Z
2016-08-22T17:58:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>I did not have an easy childhood. I feel as if I had to go through all of it to get me where I am today. I got married in 1983, had 3 children now all grown. I listened to your show during the 80's, in Chicago. I was devastated when you left. I was so happy to have recently found you again, like a treasured long lost friend. <br /><br />Our 31-year-old is happily married to a stay-at-home mom of our 18 month old grandson. Our 29-year-old daughter is a Board Certified Behavior Analyst, working with children with autism. Our "<em>Baby</em>", now 25, was kicked out of the house at age 19. He didn't like our rules. We told him to leave his car keys and cell phone. He lived with a buddy for a few months. Eventually he was able to work and get his own apartment. He is now flourishing and working in the family business. My friends asked me how we could do this, and we replied, "Because we love our kid". <br /><br />Since I have recently found you again, I am thrilled to listen to you and tell you that the lessons I learned from you so many years ago stuck with me! I am so proud to say that not only am I my grown children's mom and my husband's girlfriend of 34 years, but if I died tomorrow, I have lived ALL my dreams! I finally obtained my dream of having a wonderful husband and 3 terrific children, because of hearing you in my head all these years; even when I thought I lost you. <br /><br />Thank you for all you did for me and for so many others! <br /><br /><br /><br />What lessons have you learned as an adult? Send us an email and tell us the most meaningful lesson you've learned, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-08-22T17:58:00Z
SING WOMAN! SING!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/SING-WOMAN!-SING!/-440180603065537431.html
2016-08-22T17:57:00Z
2016-08-22T17:57:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>I'm writing in regard to the caller on the August 17th show, hour 3. She was looking for purpose in men. She has a lovely, blockbuster voice! It brought tears to my eyes when she sang... Does she know what she has to offer? <br /><br />I want her to know that I was so moved by such a talented voice being stuffed down inside a woman with no real clue as to her own worth, that I'm sending this little note. This is such a small thing, but she should really know that not only Mother Laura was touched and given a warm feeling from her voice... I was too.<br /><br />If I could, I would say to her, "<em>SING WOMAN! SING!</em>" <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />A Loyal Listener<br /><br /><br /><br />What's your favorite hobby? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-08-22T17:57:00Z
How Does She Know?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Does-She-Know/79311609504487174.html
2016-08-18T17:58:00Z
2016-08-18T17:58:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>My husband and I love to listen to your show. Today, as you spoke of how touching it was to watch an older couple holding hands in a non-sexual way, my husband says:</p>
<blockquote><em>"How does she know it's non-sexual??? I've got things planned! I'll go to the doctor and get you an inhaler!"</em></blockquote>
I have no idea what was coming next. I was laughing hysterically! He's only 57 and I'm 51. We have loads of fun together. Thanks for all you do, Dr. Laura. <br /><br />Always, <br /><br />My husband's girlfriend!!!<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you show your husband that you are his girlfriend? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-08-18T17:58:00Z
I Ignored the Red Flags
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Ignored-the-Red-Flags/-267676987594296004.html
2016-08-18T17:57:00Z
2016-08-18T17:57:00Z
<blockquote>
<p> </p>
</blockquote>
<p>I saw a lot of them, but chose not to pay any attention to them. Here are the flags I should have paid attention to:<br /><br /></p>
<ul>
<li>The woman I fell for wasn't family friendly. Meaning, she was separated from her family. </li>
<br />
<li>Then, later when I did meet her girls, the middle child was quick to tell me she "<em>wasn't going to call me Daddy!</em>" </li>
<br />
<li>The youngest said she liked how her "<em>Momma acted around me</em>", because "she <em>didn't curse like she normally does."</em> </li>
<br />
<li>The oldest girl was staying with her lover, and stripping to make money </li>
<br />
</ul>
All these red flags and I still married her; thinking love will conquer all! Boy was I in for a rude awakening! <br /><br />As soon as we married, I realized just what kind of person she really is. She had a whole set of rules I knew nothing about, until I started breaking them. Boy, what was I thinking!? <br /><br />Sometimes you just got to know when to cut and run!<br /><br /><br /><br />What is the worst date you have ever had? Send us an email and tell us what happened, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
Staff
2016-08-18T17:57:00Z
My Eyes Were Opened
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Eyes-Were-Opened/-232967307561162485.html
2016-08-17T17:58:00Z
2016-08-17T17:58:00Z
<blockquote>
<p> </p>
</blockquote>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been a listener for many years and your advice is usually spot on. I have been married to my "<em>boyfriend</em>" for nearly 46 years. <br /><br />The last few years have been rough as we disagreed about nearly everything including holidays and retirement options. We grew apart, so much so that l left. I got my own apartment. I thought this would get his attention and that he would want me back. It didn't work. Neither did 5 months of counselling or anything else l tried. <br /><br />Finally out of desperation I purchased your book, "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>". Wow!!! My eyes were opened! I have applied what l learned and continue to every day. <br /><br />The result a very happy husband and a renewed love for each other. I am back home now and happier than l have been in many years. Our marriage is strong and we are both committed to making it work. Thank you Dr. Laura. Your wisdom is astounding and l am eternally grateful.<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever read something that had a significant impact on you? Send us an email and tell what you read, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
Staff
2016-08-17T17:58:00Z
You Made the Cut
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Made-the-Cut/-406918552812999544.html
2016-08-17T17:57:00Z
2016-08-17T17:57:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dr. Laura, <br /><br />If you were to ask me who the top 3 most influential women in my life were, you would make the cut. <br /><br /><strong>You have provided me strength. </strong>Even when I was stuck in bed with no physical strength, I would think of how I could be the best wife for my husband or how I could help my kids cope. I'd just lay there and listen to you. <br /><br /><strong>My husband owes it to you that I'm a good wife.</strong> I commit myself every day to loving him, praising him, and giving him what he needs. <br /><br /><strong>I'm a stay-at-home mom. </strong> I understand what a privilege and heavy responsibility I have to raise good MEN... Real men. I'm honored to do it! <br /><br />So, to someone who has truly influenced my life and provided me so much strength when I needed it, I NEEDED to say thank you. Thank you for being a mom to me... I needed a good woman role model in my life. I make choices in my life in the hopes of making you proud yes; I realize you'd never even know. Since you have given me so much strength and encouragement, I guess my simple hope is that this letter provides just that back to you. You are incredible. I have such deep respect for you. <br /><br />If maybe, just maybe, you need a pick-me-up... I hope that in a tiny way, I can give back that you have given to me time and time again. <br /><br />Thanks, Mom! **Hugs**</p>
<br /><br />Are you trying to adopt? Send us an email and tell us about your experience, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
Staff
2016-08-17T17:57:00Z
Thank You For Giving Us A Voice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You-For-Giving-Us-A-Voice/620875996221970346.html
2016-08-16T17:58:00Z
2016-08-16T17:58:00Z
<blockquote>
<p> </p>
</blockquote>
Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I grew up listening to your words any time we were in the car with my Dad at the wheel. We knew if he was driving, you were going to come pouring through the speakers of his car. Now, here I am twenty years later, still listening. <br /><br />Thank you for being a champion for us, the adoptive families. <br />Thank you for those of us who can't conceive despite the deepest, profoundest wishes we've made for a family. <br />Thank you for telling surprised girls that there's a sweet babe who means something to someone else growing in their body. <br /><br />Because you are fighting for me and my husband. You are giving a voice to the unfortunate few who try to do the right thing. Thank goodness, we need more examples like you in the world. <br /><br />We need someone to speak truth regardless of how hard it is and to fight for the minorities. We need someone to say the hard road is meant to be walked and not to be avoided. <br />We need someone to remind us that hurt can be and is healed by others. <br /><br />I'm my husband's girlfriend and we're excitedly awaiting the day we can say we're our kids' parents.<br /><br /><br /><br />Are you trying to adopt? Send us an email and tell us about your experience, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
Staff
2016-08-16T17:58:00Z
My Dad's Words
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Dads-Words/585445805253874266.html
2016-08-16T17:57:00Z
2016-08-16T17:57:00Z
<div><br />
<div>I was in 4th grade and had been taking a local church's Sunday School bus for a couple years when I finally raised my hand during an altar call and gave my life to Christ. They said the next thing to do was to tell people, so I went home and told my family I became a Christian. My dad said "<em>Well then, live like it</em>". <br /><br />He was not a believer, but that challenge influenced me to really learn who Jesus was and to act like him. We moved 3 times in my middle and high school years and if that challenge had not happened, I may have drifted away. I'm now 57 and have raised 4 kids of my own. <br /><br />I have told them how grandpa challenged me and I challenge them in love to live the same way. My Dad is gone now, but his influence lives on.<br /><br />Thanks for the opportunity to share this. </div>
</div>
<div><br /><br /><br /></div>
Tell us about your parents, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<div id="_mcePaste" class="mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden;">
<div id="_mcePaste" class="mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow: hidden;">I was in 4th grade and had been taking a local church's Sunday School bus for a couple years when I finally raised my hand during an altar call and gave my life to Christ. They said the next thing to do was to tell people, so I went home and told my family I became a Christian. My dad said "Well then, live like it". He was not a believer, but that mocking challenge influenced me to really learn who Jesus was and to act like him. We moved 3 times in my middle and high school years and if that challenge had not happened, I may have drifted away. I'm now 57 and have raised 4 kids of my own. I have told them how grandpa challenged me and I challenge them in love to live the same way. Thanks for the opportunity to share this. Dad is gone now, but his influence lives on.</div>
</div>
Staff
2016-08-16T17:57:00Z
You're to Blame
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Youre-to-Blame/-567646912199934943.html
2016-08-15T17:58:00Z
2016-08-15T17:58:00Z
<blockquote>
<p><br /><em>"You're to blame for teaching me right from wrong and expecting me to do the right thing.<br /><br /> You're to blame for showing me that I matter in my family's life. </em><br /><br /><em>You're to blame for teaching me what it means to be a man. </em><br /><br /><em>You're to blame that I am my kid's dad. </em><br /><br /><em>You're also to blame for me being my wife's boyfriend.</em><br /><br /><em>You are also to blame for being the voice of a mother I never had."</em></p>
</blockquote>
<em> </em><br />I hope you are proud of yourself and what you have done to me in my life. I just wanted you to know that you're not just your kids mom; your mom to all of us who never had one and were willing to listen. <br /><br />I grew up with an alcoholic dad and a mom the stood by his side. I had no role model. So I listened to the lone voice telling me to do the right thing. I am now married with two GOOD kids, going on 19 happy years. My 15-year-old daughter just finished reading "T<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060976497/noxsolutions-20/ref=nosim" target="_blank">en Stupid Things Women Do to Mess up Their Lives</a></em>", before any supervised dating can happen. And yes, my 13-year-old son is just finishing up "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Stupid-Things-Mess-Their-Lives/dp/0060929448/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1471302653&sr=1-1&keywords=Ten+Stupid+Things+Men+Do+to+Mess+up+their+Lives." target="_blank">Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess up their Lives.</a></em>" Summer reading and a must before dating. The moral of the story is always listen to your mother. <br /><br />Thanks you for being my mom!<br /><br /><br /><br />Who do you look up to? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-08-15T17:58:00Z
Dear Parents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dear-Parents/579119680182297494.html
2016-08-15T17:57:00Z
2016-08-15T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dear parents, <br /><br />Please be in charge! Sync your phone with kids phone and put parental control on their cell phones. There are apps that will automatically will block access to the apps download. Get read off brain-washing social media! Leave fun apps for health and exercises, educational games and any points of healthy interest. <br /><br />Today technology can be safe, helpful and fun! Cannot regain the control? Disconnect the line and save money on the cell phone bills. Later your kids will appreciate and respect your strength and ground rules. Let's keep our kids safe!<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you keep your kid safe? Send us an email and tell us by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-08-15T17:57:00Z
Fixing My Future
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fixing-My-Future/882810933922391566.html
2016-08-11T17:58:00Z
2016-08-11T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Originally I called you and asked about helping my 5-year-old, I wanted to help him deal with not feeling loved by his father. I had my son without being married. After you tore me a new and asked me why I was having unprotected sex, I used a cop-out and stated it was because of "<em>stupidity</em>". <br /><br />I have been listening to your podcast for hours a night while I'm at work, and have realized I used a cop-out instead of being transparent; because it was easier than dealing with the truth. Truth be told, I have come to realize, I am a broken person. I realize that I've always found "<em>broken</em>" people because I, myself have been broken and didn't want to be vulnerable to love. Love, or what I thought was "<em>love</em>" as a child, hurt. And I didn't want to be hurt. So here I am, a single mother to a wonderful boy. But so desperately not wanting to repeat mistakes my parents made.<br /><br />I will look into some family therapy to deal with the inevitable issues. I want nothing more for him than the best life for my son. I have and will always take your advice and not invite any new men into his life. I have been single and will remain that way until he is raised and out of the home. I will continue to work nights, so I can be his mommy during the day, and I will also be homeschooling. I have you to thank for these decisions. Thank you for all you do!<br /><br /><br /><br />DO you have a mental health tip you'd like to share? Send us an email by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-08-11T17:58:00Z
Grandma's Wisdom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Grandmas-Wisdom/281489898545594292.html
2016-08-11T17:57:00Z
2016-08-11T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I was listening to Monday's podcast when you read a few "<em>sayings</em>" a woman heard from her father. I wanted to share a saying that my grandma used to tell us. <br /><br />She used to say, "<em>No one can walk on you unless you're lying down.</em>" That just about says it all! <br /><br />This made me think of you so I just thought that I would share! Thanks for all you do!<br /><br />Larry<br /><br /><br /><br />Has your parent ever given you a piece of advice you'll never forget? Send us an email and share it with us by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-08-11T17:57:00Z
The Power of Visualization
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Power-of-Visualization/325390716448169798.html
2016-08-10T17:58:00Z
2016-08-10T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />As I am not clever in reacting verbally to an attack, I have trained myself most of the time to not react right away to hurtful, annoying behavior of others. <br /><br />I visualize putting anger and annoyance in a balloon, and letting it go out the window. When calm, I think about the best way to handle the issue. I Pray about it and come up with a plan of action. <br /><br />Sometimes people who enjoy causing drama will do this to me if they think I will react beautifully. I don't ignore it anymore like I did as a younger person. It merely builds up until I explode. If it is a person I can talk to, I ask them how they see the situation first. Then, I explain how I see it. <br /><br />Just thought I would share! Thanks for all you do!<br /><br /><br /><br />DO you have a mental health tip you'd like to share? Send us an email by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-08-10T17:58:00Z
The Golden Rule
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Golden-Rule/294784711813689394.html
2016-08-10T17:57:00Z
2016-08-10T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I have listened to you for over 25 years. I hear you talk about who ever makes the money has the power. When my children were growing up, I use to tell them we live by the "Golden Rule". Whoever makes the gold, makes the rules. When they grow up, and make their own gold, they can make their own rules. <br /><br />This worked awesome with my two children. Thank you, and feel free to use my Golden rule line, it works with children very young until they turn 18 and move out! <br /><br />Jennifer <br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have any memories you'd like to share? Send us an email and share your experience by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-08-10T17:57:00Z
Thank You From the Bottom of My Heart
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You-From-the-Bottom-of-My-Heart/-640568535977519306.html
2016-08-09T17:58:00Z
2016-08-09T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Thank you for your strong, positive conversation with my husband. You said everything I was hoping you might say regarding his sadness and how he needed to find the purpose and joy in his life again. <br /><br />After your call, we had a good conversation about the changes we will make to allow him to open this next chapter of his life. For the first time in a long time, he seems relieved. <br /><br />I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are an amazing woman and speaking with you has helped more than you may know. Take good care of yourself --- we need you and love you. <br /><br />Love,<br /><br />Jen<br /><br /><br /><br />Has calling the show helped you? Send us an email and share your experience by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-08-09T17:58:00Z
My Daddy's Advice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Daddys-Advice/212747234439658146.html
2016-08-09T17:57:00Z
2016-08-09T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My mother never gave me advice that I remember but, my father told me 2 pieces of advice that I've never forgotten! </p>
<ol>
<li>"<em>You are who you hang out with.</em>" </li>
<br />
<li>"<em>If you loan someone money, consider it a gift & never expect to be repaid.</em>" </li>
</ol>
<p><br />Both, good to follow. Raising my son & daughter, as well as sharing the above words, I give them advice you share with listeners. I keep a 'post-it' board in my home office of any good tidbits you imbue. <br /><br /></p>
<ol>
<li>Date to discern character </li>
<br />
<li>Choose wisely-treat kindly </li>
<br />
<li>Notice & compliment </li>
<br />
<li>You don't change a man you're dating into the man you want to marry </li>
<br />
<li>If a man cannot support himself, he is not dating material </li>
<br />
<li>When you show kindness to evil ones, you spit on the innocent </li>
</ol>
<p><br />I continue listening every day and share what I learn with my grown kids! <br /><br />Love & kindness always, <br /><br />Lauri<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have advice you'd like to share? Send us an email, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-08-09T17:57:00Z
Quit Now!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Quit-Now!/3193451585993906.html
2016-08-08T17:58:00Z
2016-08-08T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I'm writing in response to a caller you had. She was a young, successful lawyer who called and debated the virtues of staying home with her one-year-old daughter--ad naseum. You kept directing her back to quitting her job, and called her selfish. Meantime, my 51-year-old self had spent the morning in tears, tidying-up the house, and waiting for your program. <br /><br />I'm well loved, but I'm seeking a new purpose. I've been feeling useless. I'm enrolled in a Master's program, but that doesn't quite fill the hole that's been left by not having to be a day-to-day mom to my college-aged daughter. My husband has a successful career and I'm trying to identify a new one, now that my baby is grown. Then I heard that lawyer's call. <br /><br />I looked over at my 19-year old, snuggled up, reading, in MY bed on this foggy day. It warmed me to think of how she prefers being home and having friends here compared to going out. When she was only a year old, because of your nagging on the radio during my commute, I bailed on what could have been a successful career in media. I did it to stay home with my children. Now, it hit me ONCE AGAIN! While listening to you speak to the attorney, it hit me how I wouldn't trade anything for enriching years I spent at home, in the trenches, with my family. <br /><br />I wanted to yell at the caller, "<em>QUIT NOW!</em>" Being a wife and mom, with part-time work, here and there, WAS AND IS enough. Thank you for letting me smile after hearing that young attorney. <br /><br />Xoxo. <br /><br /><br /><br />Have you heard a call that you want to comment on? Send us an email, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-08-08T17:58:00Z
Making Mashed Potatoes Into Ice Cream
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Mashed-Potatoes-Into-Ice-Cream/-765217274826306156.html
2016-08-08T17:57:00Z
2016-08-08T17:57:00Z
<p><br />This advice came from my Mom and it applies to every situation in life. <br /><br /></p>
<blockquote><em>"You make mashed potatoes into ice cream. You can scoop it like ice cream, dress it up with whipped cream, chocolate sauce and a cherry... but it's still mashed potatoes. </em><br /><br /><em>Make sure that you know what you're getting before you get your appetite ready."</em></blockquote>
<br />Thanks for all that you do, Dr. Laura!<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have words of wisdom you'd like to share from your parents? Share with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-08-08T17:57:00Z
Kids Need Their Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Kids-Need-Their-Mom/-134414012041942458.html
2016-08-05T17:58:00Z
2016-08-05T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I have been listening to you for over 20 years and always knew my first responsibility after having children is to be there to raise them. I had been thinking about getting a part time job, just to have a little more fun money for the family. <br /><br />My son saw me circle a job in the paper and asked me what I was doing. I then expected that if I got a little job he would get more birthday presents and Christmas presents. He immediately started crying and tore up the paper. I then heard the words I'll never forget....</p>
<blockquote><strong><em>"I don't want more stuff, I want you mom!"</em></strong></blockquote>
Dr. Laura taught me!<br /><br /><br /><br />Have your kids ever surprised you with a reaction? Tell us what happened, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-08-05T17:58:00Z
Good Parenting
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Good-Parenting/-998809822740799143.html
2016-08-05T17:57:00Z
2016-08-05T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr.Laura, <br /><br />A couple of weeks ago went to the food court at local store which reminded me of the caller whose husband was complaining about shopping at Costco. <br /><br />A gentleman and his 2 boys sat next to me. After a few minutes of observing the father and boys, I can say my hot dog and pizza was enjoyable. I congratulated him on his parents skills. I told him that the boys were very well mattered and polite. The boys even said grace, without the father having to say anything . They talked and laughed and even cleaned up the mess they had made. <br /><br />I told the father that Dr. Laura would be so proud of you and your parenting skills! The man asked who you were. I immediately put on your show. They just listened, no fighting they just listened and answered questions. <br /><br />Who knew grocery shopping and Dr. Laura would be so much fun on Sunday?! Thank you Dr.Laura for all you do. Been listening to you since 1981!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Have you know any exceptional parents? Tell us how awesome they are, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-08-05T17:57:00Z
The Rules DO Apply to Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Rules-DO-Apply-to-Me/-253297970905094977.html
2016-08-04T17:58:00Z
2016-08-04T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am a 57 year old woman, now single; divorced as Dr. Laura would say. Two years ago, I thought I’d met the man of my dreams. We dated for 8 months and then Mr. Wonderful moved in to my house. I thought he was the one. I thought that I had found the right guy. That's why he moved in. We may as well get used to living together since we are going to get married someday. Fifteen months later, I gave him the boot! It’s been days of tears and adjustments since he’s been gone. In the back of my mind I can hear the constant words of advice from Dr Laura……”<em>Never live with someone until your married!</em>” <br /><br />I used to think that this didn't apply to me. I’m mature, smart, independent and dammit, I can live with someone before I’m married. Living together is a good test to see how things are really going to be, right? Well, I’m here to say that this rule does apply to me! There is a commitment and a respect that comes with a vow of marriage. One that speaks to everyone and says loudly, “<em>Hey we are together, forever, thick and thin, richer or poorer and until death do us part!</em>” <br /><br />I wanted marriage. He wanted free milk without the cow. <br /><br /><br /><br />Have you been spurned by a shack up? Tell us what happened, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-08-04T17:58:00Z
He Makes Me #1
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Makes-Me-1/-549362570250720645.html
2016-08-04T17:57:00Z
2016-08-04T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have a confession to make. When my husband and I were younger, we broke one of your rules. We got married when I was 18 he was 20. Neither of us had ever lived outside of our parents houses and didn't have much experience in life. <br /><br />Even though we broke this rule, I got lucky...he is still perfect for me. He has the patience to deal with my antics. He even takes care of me after a hard day at work. He fixes everything around the house. He says, "If I can't fix it, then it is not broke." I love his smile, his sense of humor, his hard work ethics, and the fact that he makes me #1 in his life. <br /><br />Our friends often make fun of us for walking hand-in-hand, showing that we are still in love after all of these years. I just wanted you to know that yes we were young and dumb, but we made the commitment NOT to a throw away marriage. Sticking it out, through the thick and thin was worth it. <br /><br />Thank you for giving us your time! And thank you for the countless advice.</p>
Diana<br /><br /><br /><br />What is your spouse's number 1 priority? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-08-04T17:57:00Z
Reasons Why Dr. Laura Totally ROCKS!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Reasons-Why-Dr.-Laura-Totally-ROCKS!/368730792500899761.html
2016-08-03T17:58:00Z
2016-08-03T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I listen to you most every day. I got to thinking..."<em>I need to let Dr. Laura know that the words of wisdom she shares every day, I put to good use. I put them to use by by doing them, which makes my life better. I need to let her know she is reaching her goals. I believe one of her goals is to teach and encourage others to do the right thing.</em>" So today is my attempt to let you know how the influence you persistently continue with, even when you do not feel like it, is a good example to me and a great benefit. <br /><br />There was a time that I didn't feel like staying married. While the children were young I had a hard time. However, it turns out that I love and accept my husband and he loves and accepts me. So I persist, like you persist and it turns out good. </p>
Both of our kids are moral, kind, fiercely competitive, goal oriented, drug free, a joy to their teachers at school and will be citizens that will add to, not suck from society! They listened to you in their car seats as infants, when we stayed home, and when their dad worked. <br />
<p>Your good influence helped make this happen. You make a big, big difference, for the better! Take Care. Take on the day. Do the right thing. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Linda</p>
<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you think Dr. Laura rocks? Tell us why, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-08-03T17:58:00Z
My Commitment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Commitment/-237003610526802183.html
2016-08-03T17:57:00Z
2016-08-03T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I think a lot about how to keep my wife happy, daily. I mean, c'mon guys, why can't you do the laundry? Why can't you just take care of the dishes? Do household things that obviously need doing. Learn some easy recipes and cook supper once in a while. Easy stuff. Don't make excuses as to why you can't do these things. I do admit, a bunch of flowers for no particular reason once in a while is always nice. <br /><br />My wife and I do all sorts of things together! We race in hill climb races. We travel. We talk and solve issues without angry words. We even share various household chores. It took me a long while to find this great gal. My commitment is to keep her and us happy. It's not that hard, if you keep your love in mind.</p>
<br /><br />How do you view your commitment to your spouse? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-08-03T17:57:00Z
Speaking Kindly Counts
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Speaking-Kindly-Counts/-185777787110781343.html
2016-08-02T17:58:00Z
2016-08-02T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi, Dr. Laura! <br /><br />As newlyweds, we discussed how we treat each other when the other is not around. I worked with several young women who thought nothing of bashing their husbands, telling daily stories of their downfalls. I finally had enough, and let them know that these were their partners, chosen by them, to live out their lives. I asked them how they would feel if they knew their husbands were speaking about THEM in this negative way to their buddies. This shut them up. <br /><br />A year later, when one of my co-workers got married, pulled me aside and thanked me for the advice I had given. She told me that knew her relationship with her new husband would be strong, as she has chosen to only speak kindly when discussing him. <br /><br />This warms my heart. Thank you for all you do. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Melody<br /><br /><br /><br />What's the best piece of advice you have ever given to a friend? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-08-02T17:58:00Z
Dear Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dear-Mom/-681570041694272424.html
2016-08-02T17:57:00Z
2016-08-02T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I'm a 25 year listener. Thank you for your guidance. <br /><br />Below is an article that I had to share, written by a professional athlete to his mom. She had just passed away from cancer. This young man had quite the difficult life. His dad was abusive. His mother left his father with nothing, worked two jobs, home schooled, and brought him up the right way! He's now married and has a family. <br /><br />This is their story, from his perspective about how she shaped his life to be the man he is today. It's a short read, but very powerful. <br /><br />Please click here to read: "<em><a href="http://www.theplayerstribune.com/bobby-ryan-dear-mom/?utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=July%2030%20AM&utm_content=July%2030%20AM+CID_9cd5107c52940ecdd604eef075004101&utm_source=newsletter&utm_term=Dear%20Mom" target="_blank">Dear Mom</a></em>"<a href="http://www.theplayerstribune.com/bobby-ryan-dear-mom/?utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=July%2030%20AM&utm_content=July%2030%20AM" target="_blank"><br /><br /></a>Thanks again for all you do. Cheers! <br /><br />Greg <br /><br />Coon <br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a story to share? Share it with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-08-02T17:57:00Z
Thank You From The Bottom of My Heart
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You-From-The-Bottom-of-My-Heart/810238939194009989.html
2016-08-01T17:58:00Z
2016-08-01T17:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr.Laura,<br /><br />I have listened for years off and on and you saved my marriage when I read your book, "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>". My 10-year-old boy is precious and a very good human being. He knows now how to treat kindly and pick wisely when he finds a wife someday. <br /><br />My mom went into an Alzheimer care nursing home last year. For now my dad is staying home with hired help. Myself and my siblings go over and visit as much as we can. You have stepped in when my real mom became lost to Alzheimer's and I don't know what I would have done without you and your podcast in my ears at all hours of the night during this difficult time.<br /><br />So thank you from the bottom of my heart. It is a good thing you are strong and just know there are so many people in the world that are grateful for you every day. <br /><br />The world, such as it is these days, is a better place because you are in it.<br /><br />XO,<br />Lori <br /><br /><br /><br />Are you care-taking for a sick loved one? Tell us how you cope, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-08-01T17:58:00Z
Mom and Dad Set the Standard
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mom-and-Dad-Set-the-Standard/720178729085125543.html
2016-08-01T17:57:00Z
2016-08-01T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><span><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><span>My parents have an ideal marriage. My dad showed me how a husband should treat his wife and my mom showed me what respect for your husband looks like. I found a man who'd been raised in a similar situation. We've been married for almost 22 years now an</span></span><span><span><span>d he treats me just how his dad treats his mom. <br /><br />With respect and gentle kindness. You learn what you live. We're raising 4 daughters to believe that marriage is wonderful when you both work at it and there is an endless supply of loving respect.<br /><br /><br /><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>What do you think makes a marriage work? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-08-01T17:57:00Z
Thank You for Your Tough Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You-for-Your-Tough-Love/41015441576377053.html
2016-07-29T17:58:00Z
2016-07-29T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Laura, <br /><br />Thank you for the tough stance you take on divorce and remarriage. I think mothers who go looking for another man to take care of them after divorce are selfish and put their needs before their children. <br /><br />No child asks to be born into this world. Why is it so hard for mothers of young children to understand that they need to totally devote themselves to the children who need mom's total attention? I have taken a lot of flak from my friends and relatives for voicing my personal convictions. It frustrates me to have relatives tell me divorce doesn't affect their children. I see the effects of divorce on my own husband, as he was the youngest of four children. His mother remarried twice after divorcing his father. I know my husband resents that his mother took her limited energy and gave so much of it to her step boys. This was done at his expense. <br /><br />You are so right, that a mother will always protect their own child over a step child. You are so brave to speak the truth that no one wants to hear. Hope you are enjoying your summer! <br /><br /></p>
<p><br /><br />How do you think step children are treated? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2016-07-29T17:58:00Z
Marriage Is Not One Sided
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Marriage-Is-Not-One-Sided/-566770248624722661.html
2016-07-29T17:57:00Z
2016-07-29T17:57:00Z
<p><span><br />My hubby texts me every work day around 10am to see how things are going. I can't tell you how much I appreciate this. It shows me he cares. <br /><br />A marriage is not one-sided. It's a daily effort to acknowledge each other. You need to support each other and be there when things seem out of control. If you do this, all things fall into place. <br /><br />This support and strength makes for a calm and supportive environment that helps to make the darkest days not so dark.</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><br />What cute things do you and your spouse do to keep the spark going? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2016-07-29T17:57:00Z
Thank You from a Lifelong Listener
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You-from-a-Lifelong-Listener/-772331768641959850.html
2016-07-28T17:58:00Z
2016-07-28T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Whenever I hear a caller say how long they've listened to your show, I can't help but laugh because it's never as long as how long I've been a listener. That longevity, the impact you've had on my life, and the level of appreciation I have for your expertise made me realize I owe you this communication. <br /><br />I started listening to you as an impressionable college student in your KFI days. You taught me valuable life skills. </p>
<ul>
<li>Your wisdom helped me understand my own parents' destructive relationship. I realized that I could reap just as much important information from their example than I could learn from a positive model of marriage. </li>
<br />
<li>You helped me realize what I wanted from my own partner in life and marriage. </li>
<br />
<li>You taught me to understand people and their motives and that you're the fool if you expect them to change who they are. </li>
<br />
<li>You taught me how to nurture my relationship with my husband, and our relationship with our children. </li>
<br />
<li>You inspired me to find ways to have a career and have children--though not always at the same time--so that they would grow up with ever-present love, support, and guidance from both parents and family, even with extended family hundreds of miles away. </li>
</ul>
<p><br />Now my high school sweetheart husband and I have been happily married for over 26 years, have three well-educated daughters 17, 20 & 22, who are well on their way to leading independent lives. They've grown up listening to you, too. I even bought each of them their own copy of "<em><a href="/pg/jsp/community/bookdetail.jsp?detID=-125594231062022406" target="_blank">Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives</a></em>" and "<em><a href="/pg/jsp/community/bookdetail.jsp?detID=-950235365937463723" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a>".</em> <br /><br />As a middle school teacher, I strive to instill your common sense values into impactful lessons that help steer the impressionable adolescents to handle life's challenges with integrity. Regardless of whether my family and I have agreed with you, the core foundation of your messages have always been clear, direct, well-meaning, and of value. After all these years you have been a rock in my life. <br /><br />I can't let another day go by without telling you how you have been a positive influence on my life, and those of my husband and children. <br /><br />Eternally grateful, <br /><br />Debbie<br /><br /></p>
<p><br /><br />What have you learned from the show? Tell us why, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2016-07-28T17:58:00Z
Social Skills of Our Future
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Social-Skills-of-Our-Future/258534497755454313.html
2016-07-28T17:57:00Z
2016-07-28T17:57:00Z
<p><br />It will be interesting to see what will happen to society over the next years. Children today are permanently hooked to their devices. <br /><br />Children aren't learning any interpersonal skills. I see children being told, "<em>You can have more time on your game if you will say some words to grandpa!</em>" I live in a senior citizen complex and am appalled at family visitors who come to see their "<em>loved one</em>" only to sit around the dining room table completely immersed in their personal phones. The loved one is basically alone. <br /><br />I don't see any of the employees on their cell phones during work hours. I'm sure they are required not to do so. But who will be in the workforce in years to come, if employees are required to stay off their phones while at work?<br /><br /></p>
<p><br /><br />How do you think technology is affecting our hopes for the future? Tell us your thoughts, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2016-07-28T17:57:00Z
Bring It On
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bring-It-On/591165243987729184.html
2016-07-27T17:58:00Z
2016-07-27T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Mama Laura, <br /><br />You are seriously a mom to me. You have saved my life and made life better for my son, Matthew. He is an amazing young man and you are the reason. I always say to him, "<em>Dr. Laura would claim you as her grandkid!</em>" and he knows that is the biggest complement he could ever receive. <br /><br />He is 14 years old and a true warrior spirit. When he was in 7th grade he got between a bratty bully and another smaller kid at his baseball game. The brat was calling the other kid "<em>gay</em>" and along with other names. Matt stepped in and told him to knock it off. The kid threatened Matt with a baseball bat. All Matt said was "<em>Bring it on</em>". Another kid told the coach and the kid was kicked off the team. My son hangs out with good kids, but not one of them ever sticks up for another in the face of danger or mean people. <br /><br />I have seen my son stick up for so many. He has even spoken out to teachers that were being awful to students. I am here to tell you thought that my son's warrior spirit has been cultivated and strengthened by you. <br /><br />It has happened because:</p>
<ul>
<li>I listened to you and made really good life choices. </li>
<br />
<li>I have feed my husband and nurtured my marriage. </li>
<br />
<li>I have been a stay at home mom and invested in him. </li>
<br />
<li>I have been thankful and blessed that I only got one child. </li>
<br />
<li>I married a real man and let him be a strong influence. </li>
</ul>
<p><br />I could go on and on! There are so many more things I could tell you but I covered the one value that I think you will love the most. <br /><br />Respectfully, <br /><br />Your Daughter by Proxy Monica<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Is your child a hero to you? Tell us why, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2016-07-27T17:58:00Z
My Top 6 Tips for Good Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Top-6-Tips-for--Good-Marriage/486443946425103480.html
2016-07-27T17:57:00Z
2016-07-27T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I just wanted to share the 6 things we do to create a good marriage. Enjoy!<br /><br /></p>
<ol>
<li>Choose wisely </li>
<br />
<li>Treat kindly </li>
<br />
<li>Be a good spouse yourself. Ask yourself regularly, "<em>What have I done lately to improve the quality of life within our marriage?</em>" Then get busy and put some effort into making life better; more fun, more joy, a surprise, clean things up in the house, plan a nice date night, whatever makes you and your spouse happy. </li>
<br />
<li>Play his favorite music on date night </li>
<br />
<li>Keep your sense of humor, make things fun, find things that are funny </li>
<br />
<li>Show affection to your spouse!</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><br /><br />What marriage tricks do you have? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2016-07-27T17:57:00Z
It's All Perspective
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-All-Perspective/-906657870591850446.html
2016-07-26T17:58:00Z
2016-07-26T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />At my bridal shower, my aunt gave the best piece of marriage advice. She talked about how every morning, she gets up and makes coffee. She takes her coffee with sugar and wants it on the counter for quick and easy access. <br /><br />She used to get upset with her husband, because at some point throughout the day, he would put the sugar up in the cupboard. And every morning, she would pull the sugar right back down. She couldn't understand why he wouldn't just leave the sugar on the counter for her so she wouldn't have to pull down every morning. <br /><br />One day it hit her, he was probably thinking the same things about her. Why couldn't she just put the sugar back up when she was done, so he didn't have to put it back up every day. It's all perspective. Sometimes you just need to take a step back and look at things from their point of view. <br /><br />-Michaela <br /><br />P.S. They just celebrated their 20th anniversary this past weekend. And the sugar was in the cupboard.<br /><br /><br /><br />What marriage advice would you give your children? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2016-07-26T17:58:00Z
Let Them Walk
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Let-Them-Walk/-680220797515106959.html
2016-07-26T17:57:00Z
2016-07-26T17:57:00Z
<p><br />So many of your listeners need to hear this guy's message. I listen to your show every day and this clip seems to apply to at least 50% of your callers.</p>
<p><strong><span id="eow-title" class="watch-title" title="Let Them Walk - Bishop T.D. Jakes" dir="ltr"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pketb6gxR3w" target="_blank">Click here to view: "Let Them Walk - Bishop T.D. Jakes"</a></span></strong></p>
<p>Have a great day! Love your show! Thank you for sharing all your amazing wisdom with the world!<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever had to let anyone go? Tell us why, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2016-07-26T17:57:00Z
I Am A Better Person Because Of YOU
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Am-A-Better-Person-Because-Of-YOU/-565762389646056435.html
2016-07-25T17:58:00Z
2016-07-25T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I just want you to know how incredible you are. I have been listening to you for over 15 years and you changed my life. I actually listen to a lot of your advice. As a result, I became a MAN and owned my life and its challenges. <br /><br />I went from a partying child to one day realizing that I am just getting older, with no purpose. I now have purchased my second home and am a full time care provider for my disabled sister. This is the short and dirty version of my story but I want to THANK YOU for your contribution to the world. I am a better person because of YOU!! <br /><br />Thank you for taking time to read this! All the best to you Dr. Laura!!!<br /><br /><br /><br />Who has helped to shape you into a better person? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2016-07-25T17:58:00Z
Dr. Laura in My Corner
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dr.-Laura-in-My-Corner/233623750311159653.html
2016-07-25T17:57:00Z
2016-07-25T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /> <br />I have listened to you because I believe what you believe. I have always been committed to living my life with strong character and doing my best to do the right thing; especially when it is hard. You are a brilliant, insightful, strong, kind, caring, very wise woman and mom to many, in MY never to be humble opinion. <br /><br />I was divorced when my daughter was a year old. Her father was abusive and I did not want my child in that environment. I have now been single for 15 years. He has never paid one cent of child support and has very little interaction with our daughter. I have always been self-employed. I have been able to support us and be a stay-at-home mom. My work is done around my daughter's schedule and we home school. I have not dated or had sex since my divorce, nor will I until my daughter goes to college. <br /><br />I THANK YOU for always being adamant about that and I have been too. Please thank Derek for sharing his mom with all of us. When others tell me I live like a nun, I listen to you know I AM my daughters mom and I AM doing the right thing! GRATEFUL TO YOU for the strong character and strong moral compass you have helped me raise my daughter with. I know I have you in my corner.<br /><br /><br /><br />Who is in your corner? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2016-07-25T17:57:00Z
Stop And Count to Ten
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stop-And-Count-to-Ten/-734197582685890269.html
2016-07-22T17:58:00Z
2016-07-22T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Whenever I have a passing thought of something my spouse did that disappointed me or caused great anger, I stop...count to 10. I then realize that he's no more perfect as a human than I am. <br /><br />I have done things that I don't want to be constantly judged. I have tried to learn from my shortcomings and mistakes, so not make them again. As long as it's not something that he does over and over, with no intent on changing, then he's doing his best to right a wrong. <br /><br />God didn't make us perfect. He made us only in his image not his perfect duplication.<br /><br /><br /><br />How do handle it when you're frustrated? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2016-07-22T17:58:00Z
My Heart Wasn't In It
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Heart-Wasnt-In-It/-814231077341643916.html
2016-07-22T17:57:00Z
2016-07-22T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />You were the reason I quit my job and stayed home. I have no regrets. <br /><br />I'm extremely lucky to have such an awesome loving caring selfless mother who helped babysit and was even their "<em>room nana</em>" in kindergarten. Thank you for all your support in making what I thought was a difficult choice into a no-brainer. <br /><br />I only lasted 3 months breast pumping at work while listening to Dr. Laura on the radio to know working was not where my heart was. Now my kids are 18 and 17, time flies. Grab hold and enjoy them when their little! <br /><br /><br /><br />What changed your mind, to become a stay-at-home mother? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-07-22T17:57:00Z
Dr. Laura Is A Member Of Our Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dr.-Laura-Is-A-Member-Of-Our-Family/323097029770050094.html
2016-07-21T17:58:00Z
2016-07-21T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I subscribed to your website in hopes that listening to you would help me save my marriage. Listening to your daily show and past broadcasts sometimes 9 plus hours a day. I finally had the sense knocked into me! <br /><br />I stopped feeling sorry for myself and instead of acting like a victim I started acting like my husband girlfriend. I verbalize to him every day how grateful I am for everything he is and does for our family. Now we are like newlyweds. We did not feel this in love even when we were newlyweds. <br /><br /><strong>You're were right when you said: "<em>Treat your man right and he will lick your toes.</em>" </strong><br /><br />Thank you for staying in the trenches and being a lone voice in the wilderness.<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you treat your man right? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-07-21T17:58:00Z
Tough Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Tough-Love/687509260071519250.html
2016-07-21T17:57:00Z
2016-07-21T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Thank you for your response to the woman who called about pressing charges against her bipolar daughter, for stealing from her. I have bipolar disorder. I work very hard to manage my disorder and lead a very productive life. I manage to parent two children and I'm working on my master's degree. <br /><br />I think that we all need to give tough love to people who don't actively try to manage their mental health issues. It's no excuse for illegal behavior. Consequences for our actions is how we learn. Thank you for pointing her in the direction of people who are successful in living with mental illness. You help take some of the stigma attached to having a mental illness away. In my opinion, anything we can do to break down society's ill-conceived notions about people suffering from mental illness being damaged and not accountable for their actions is empowering. <br /><br />Thank you for all you do.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Do you think that tough love is a good thing? Tell us how you feel, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-07-21T17:57:00Z
'Fragile' Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fragile-Children/650997701379603037.html
2016-07-20T17:58:00Z
2016-07-20T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I'm the stay-at-home mother of two children and have been a listener of yours for years. I felt moved to write in response to the Inwood, NY school <a href="http://ow.ly/LdA0301GwNv" target="_blank">changing report cards</a> to "<em>boost kids' self-esteem</em>". What a terrible disservice they are doing to their students. If all children are held up as being "<em>equal</em>", what happens to those who actually ARE motivated to work hard and learn? <br /><br />Those who opted to slack off instead of doing the hard work should receive the same high marks, just so they can feel "<em>good</em>" about themselves!? What happens to those kids once they enter the real world with this false sense of "esteem"? Is everything going to be handed to them so they can <em>"feel good"</em>? Sadly, they'll shatter like teacups. <br /><br />They'll be drawn to alcohol or drugs--the easy way to feel good. Not to mention giving high grades across the board minimizes the achievements of those students who ARE choosing to work hard and do well in school. <strong>Self-esteem comes from the positive feelings one derives from doing something well</strong>. Through hard work, persistence and successive repetition one can grow and improve. If we're giving kids "A's" just for breathing, we might as well close down our schools. These poor kids....I feel badly for them. How grossly we underestimate their ability to cope with adversity and develop through that process. <br /><br />I'm spitting mad about this, Dr. Laura. Thank you for challenging this idiotic notion that all children need to be treated like they're fragile, delicate and incapable.<br /><br /><br /><br />What do you think of lowering the bar for the sake of self-esteem? Tell us how you <em>feel</em>, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-07-20T17:58:00Z
My Second Chance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Second-Chance/154318293392013196.html
2016-07-20T17:57:00Z
2016-07-20T17:57:00Z
<p><br />A few weeks ago I had found out that the man I married and divorced (whom I still am very much in love with) was trying to move on. Well the woman he was trying to pursue didn't want to him to move on from me. <br /><br />She had a feeling that I still loved him. So we got in contact. To my surprise, she actually helped me get him back! She sent a book called "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>". It helped me realize how wrong I was for everything I did. Now he is giving me the chance to be his girlfriend again, for good. <br /><br />Thanks for all the help with this book, I'm so thankful she sent me to you!! <br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever been given a second chance? Tell us how you <em>Do the Right Thing</em>, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-07-20T17:57:00Z
Little by Little
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Little-by-Little/944135311258789159.html
2016-07-19T17:58:00Z
2016-07-19T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />I wanted to compliment you on your successful call regarding a women that was hiding from the truth, <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/programhighlights?date=20160705" target="_blank">during the Best of show that aired on Tuesday, July 5th</a>. She was actually scared of her husband.</p>
<p>I thought it was great that you stuck it out with her through several "I don't knows". Being that I am hopefully going to become a counselor, one of these days, I understood why you were giving her a bit longer to come around. I could hear it in her voice as well. She spoke like a scared little girl and needed help. I am one of your many longtime fans and I can only dream of being half as good as you are. You have been my inspiration, given you were my first experience listening to you on A.M. many years ago. I have always had a knack for reading people and I would love nothing more than to be able to help as many people as possible in my lifetime.</p>
<p>I thought that call was amazing and I needed to tell you just how much I look up to you as my role model. With people out there like you, things will turn for the better little by little. I always tell my boys, "<em>I don't care if other parents are doing whatever, You're my boy and we have a certain set of values that your dad and I intend to uphold.</em>" So far at 13, my oldest boy is doing great and seems to get that just because everybody else is doing something doesn't make it the right thing to do.</p>
<p>Thank you for all that you do. Not just for everyone listening, but for me personally. You have no idea how much you have impacted my life.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Jen</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>How do you try to impact others? Tell us how you <em>Do the Right Thing</em>, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-07-19T17:58:00Z
Helping to Make Me a Better Person
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Helping-to-Make-Me-a-Better-Person/612259302015600463.html
2016-07-19T17:57:00Z
2016-07-19T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Just like anyone, I have my own struggles but have never considered myself to be a victim; no matter how difficult the situation. Over the years I have sought help from a few therapists to help me repair my relationship with my mother and to help me through my divorce with my poorly chosen first husband.</p>
<p>None of them have helped me as much as you have. Just by mirroring someone else's experience and applying advice to my own situations, I have grown into a better person. Your advice has molded me into a stronger person who is no longer a people pleasing pushover. I have learned that I do not have to accept crumbs that are being handed out.</p>
<p>From the bottom of my heart, please accept my sincere thanks for helping to make me a better person. The positive impact you have had on my life is truly immeasurable. I remain forever grateful for your influence.</p>
<p>Many blessings to you and your family.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Who helps you to be a better person? Tell us about them, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-07-19T17:57:00Z
I Never Expected This
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Never-Expected-This/-232429636234013694.html
2016-07-18T17:58:00Z
2016-07-18T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! My husband and I have been reading your book, "<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Marriage/dp/0061142824" target="_blank"><em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage</em></a>". Up until today, I wasn't even sure if your words were settling in my husband's brain. Well I'm happy to say, not only are they settling in his brain, they are falling into his heart as well.</p>
<p>We understand each other much better already and we haven't even finished the book! I have attached a letter my husband shared to the world this morning; it came as a total surprise. As silly as it may seem, that letter means everything to me. Thank you again, Dr. Laura. Because of you, we are excited and looking forward to a healthy and strong marriage.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Rebecca</p>
<p><img src="/images/blog/Slide1.JPG" alt="" /><br /><br /><br />Has your spouse left you a love note that made your heart flutter? Share it with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-07-18T17:58:00Z
You Have Always Been My Hero
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Have-Always-Been-My-Hero/-140146354595305086.html
2016-07-18T17:57:00Z
2016-07-18T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I wanted to send you a heartfelt thank you for all that you have giving to me for over the past 20+ years. There is no way at all to sum it all up; there is too much! I have tried to write this thank you email several times, but my efforts to be succinct always broke down into gushing adoration!.</p>
<p>In short, my thanks comes from the following:</p>
<ul>
<li>Your consistent support for children and fathers </li>
<br />
<li>Your untiring struggle to cut through the drudge and educate on how to make families better</li>
<br />
<li>For helping to untangle my moral compass 20+ ago years and remaining the well of wisdom I can always return to for rejuvenation and clarity. </li>
<br />
<li>For all that you risk to be an example from afar, when there are so few within reach.</li>
</ul>
<p>As I consider my own foray into social media and print to discuss, challenge and wrestle with many of the same issues that you have struggled with for decades, I can only hope I can help half as well as you have. Thank you.</p>
<p>William</p>
<p><br /><br />Who is your hero? Tell us about them, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-07-18T17:57:00Z
Soft Is Good....For Toilet Paper And Pillows
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Soft-Is-Good....For-Toilet-Paper-And-Pillows/534940010231840709.html
2016-06-28T17:58:00Z
2016-06-28T17:58:00Z
<p><br />We were equally "<em>hard</em>" on all of our kids. They worked for their vehicles, paid their car insurance, cell phone bill, if they had any money leftover they spent a little and saved a lot. <br /><br />Over the last 10 years of raising these now "<em>grown</em>" kids, 24 to 19, we heard from them how all their friends didn't have to do what they did and abide by the same rules. It happened with each and every one. They all did this at the age of 17. They felt they should be released from the rules. We told them if they could pay their part of the mortgage, utilities, groceries, and other parental responsibilities that they could be free from our reign. They all declined! <br /><br />When it came to schools and teachers we constantly had problems with them not wanting to hold the kids accountable for missed assignments and failed grades. We had to hold them accountable at home. My husband and I have tried to figure out where it all changed from when we were in school 25 years ago. Our society is general is too soft on our kids and I see it every day in the workplace; with adults as well. Pretty soon, our society will be filled with people with mushy backbones. There will be a few of us dinosaurs left but at the rate it's going it won't be long until we are extinct. <br /><br /><strong>There is a time for plenty of softness with the kids but we shouldn't be soft in the areas where it will cause damage. </strong><br /><br />That's all for now from my soapbox!<br /><br />Samantha<br /><br /><br /><br />When are you soft and when are you hard on your children? Tell us where you shift, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-06-28T17:58:00Z
What Does The Future Hold For Our Children?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Does-The-Future-Hold-For-Our-Children/-46309280712084239.html
2016-06-28T17:57:00Z
2016-06-28T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Today, kids are overly smothered in their feelings; so much so that they aren't being allowed to be kids. I have triplets, 2 boys and one girl. <br /><br />One of my sons likes my firearms, and he made a fake gun out of a piece of paper. I received an e-mail on how guns aren't allowed at school, and the offending piece of paper was confiscated. I was shocked at how the entire event was handled. <br /><br />I'm really getting tired of this entire "<em><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Political_correctness" target="_blank">PC</a>"</em> environment we are living in. What does the future hold for our children? I am so thankful my kids are doing great in school and that I love them more than anything. <br /><br />Thank you, <br /><br />Alex<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you think our kids will end up in twenty years? Share your thoughts with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-06-28T17:57:00Z
What is Taking Control Over the Mindsets of Many Women?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-is-Taking-Control-Over-the-Mindsets-of-Many-Women/-990628519976142990.html
2016-06-27T17:58:00Z
2016-06-27T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />In this day and age, the men I associate myself with look for a woman with characteristics and traits that are being lost in today's women. I look for a woman that has strong feminine traits; these can include positive and optimistic attitude, polite, caring, compassionate, and graceful. When I see women today, I see women who lack social skills. <br /><br />They, along with most of the people in society, are glued to their phones and would rather text you than have a face to face conversation. Along with smartphones, comes social media. Social media is a breeding ground for attention seeking actions and narcissism. A vast majority of women dedicate their lives to taking pictures of themselves in skimpy clothing or bathing suits in an attempt to receive praise and "<em>likes</em>" from men they would typically ignore in a social setting. Social media inflates their egos to the point where they think they are God's gift to mankind. <br /><br />Unfortunately, most men are enablers and play right into this agenda. The comments of how beautiful they are and begging for dates just further justifies women's actions on social media. A small minority of men think these actions are disgusting and self-aggrandizing. This realization shifts our desire for a grounded woman whose life does not revolve around a computer or phone screen. We want a woman who is not self-obsessed or conceited. <br /><br />I am also not saying that all women succumb to the desire for social media attention. Men should want to find a woman that complements him. <strong>Find a woman who doesn't rely on social media to make her feel like she has self-worth</strong>. A polite woman who will be respectful and recognize our efforts to make her happy. We want a woman who we think would make a great wife, and more importantly, a wonderful mother. In this day and age, it seems like narcissism is what is taking control over the mindsets of many women.<br /><br /> Hopefully I'm wrong, but it looks pretty clear to see where these future generations are heading. <br /><br />-J<br /><br /><br /><br />What do you look for in a woman? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-06-27T17:58:00Z
Letter to Myself
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Letter-to-Myself/714559170188836291.html
2016-06-27T17:57:00Z
2016-06-27T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I wanted to share with you something that I recently applied to my life that may be of help to others listening to your show. I am 58 and still wanting to find a good woman to have a relationship with for the future. I have been divorced for 7 yrs. and let me just say that the dating scene isn't what it used to be. <br /><br />Like all of us I am attracted to a certain type of woman, however I have discovered that what I am attracted to isn't always the best person for me. After taking one last "arrow" to the heart after a bad relationship, I was left wanting and wandering what HAD happened?<br /><br /> As human beings we are of two minds, the head and the heart. The problem we all face is trying to get the head and the heart more in sync. So, to try and get better at handle on myself and dealing with this level of "crazy" I decided to write a letter to this person. I should note that I wrote this letter during a period of calm, when the head on my shoulders was in control of the blood flow. After reading the letter to myself, I decided to hold on to it for a while. That decision had a profound effect on me. <br /><br />Every time my heart started to miss this woman, I would pull the letter out and read it. Hearing the words I had written, in my own voice, explaining to myself why I knew this relationship wasn't healthy for me made it easier to put myself in control and stay away from her. <br /><br />Please share this with your listeners. Hopefully it will be a benefit. <br /><br />Blessing to you Dr. Laura, Keep up the good work.<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a trick to keep yourself on track while dating? Share it with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-06-27T17:57:00Z
Surviving the Teen Years And Smart Phones
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Surviving-the-Teen-Years-And-Smart-Phones/809633985793574424.html
2016-06-24T17:58:00Z
2016-06-24T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I'm a mom of 3 adult kids. When they hit about 5th grade, cell phones were just starting to be the rage. I remember the full court press to get them one. <br /><br />Fast forward to today, the 2 eldest are married, my youngest is 24. After going through the teen years with smart phones, I have a few suggestions: <br /><br /></p>
<ol>
<li><strong>Do NOT let them bring their cell phones with them into their bedrooms after 7 pm.</strong> Keep them charging in YOUR room overnight. LOTS of communicating goes on long into the wee hours of the morning, especially if there's a relationship involved. I'm not even going to go into the easy access to pornography. This does not help their GPA. </li>
<br />
<li><strong>Think long and hard about giving them internet </strong>enabled cell phones unless they can pay for it themselves, and even then question this decision! This is up for discussion I guess...every kid is different. It is difficult to give a kid an internet enabled phone and then another that doesn't support the same functions UNLESS they have abused the PRIVILEGE! </li>
<br />
<li><strong>Let them know that if there is ever any issue with lying, coming home after curfew, etc. etc. that the phone will be taken away</strong> and they cannot have another one until they can pay for the bill themselves. This involves a LOT of hassle for us moms who have to drive them everywhere and keep track of them! They have to use their friend's cell phones OR land lines to phone home. Somehow we were all able to live life without cell phones growing up. </li>
<br />
<li><strong>EVEN IF you have REALLY GOOD KIDS, get the tracker on their phone to know where they are at all times</strong>. </li>
<br />
<li><strong>DO NOT let them have their cell phones 24/7</strong> while on vacation!!! Keep a tighter rein on the phone during family time, at the dinner table, holidays, etc. </li>
<br />
<li><strong>KNOW their password and check their phone from time to time</strong>. This is NOT an '<em>invasion of privacy</em>'...you are trying to keep your kid from going down a wrong path! And besides, you are probably PAYING for this stupid phone! </li>
</ol>
<p>That's it! MAN am I glad I'm not doing this anymore! Lol Enjoying being a Grammie--it's WAY easier!<br /><br /><br /><br />What do you think gets easier, once the kids start to grow? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-06-24T17:58:00Z
Family Negotiation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Family-Negotiation/840464736369573589.html
2016-06-24T17:57:00Z
2016-06-24T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Learning to negotiate with family is the hardest thing I've ever had to learn. To minimize drama, I won't engage in unproductive argument. Sometimes that means keeping my mouth shut and sometimes it means saying "<em>No</em>". <br /><br />I try to be honest with myself and manage my own expectation; keeping it in line with reality. I'm not going to change my family. Instead, I look for the win-win whenever possible.<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you try to resolve family conflict? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-06-24T17:57:00Z
There Are Blessings Every Where In Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/There-Are-Blessings-Every-Where-In-Life/-508884026964655223.html
2016-06-23T17:58:00Z
2016-06-23T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hello Dr. Laura,<br /><br /> I have come a long way since my grandson was born. He will be six in September. My daughter married a man and they have a son who has inherited a genetic disease that her in-laws never mentioned. I have come a long way with the anger and resentment I held towards her in-laws. All I could do was focus on my grandsons well-being and trying to be supportive of my daughter and her marriage. <br /><br />I find your show so helpful to me. Without family to uplift me, it's always great to hear your voice of wisdom to help me keep going forward while keeping sane as I struggle with acceptance in this situation. This little guy has taught me so much, mostly that there are blessings in everything that happens in life; if we can keep positive enough to look for them. <br /><br />Thank you for your daily words of wisdom and strength.<br /><br /><br /></p>
<p>What lifts your spirits when you are having a hard time? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-06-23T17:58:00Z
MY Phone Rules
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/MY-Phone-Rules/-839207912656307677.html
2016-06-23T17:57:00Z
2016-06-23T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I have to laugh and nod my head at your rules for giving kids cell phones. Here are my house rules for giving a child a phone. <br /><br /></p>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: 12px;">Rule #1 "</span><em style="font-size: 12px;">When you can afford one" </em></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: 12px;">Rule #2 </span><em style="font-size: 12px;">"Phone only, NOTHING else" </em></li>
</ul>
<p><br />You stated if there was a serious illness, maybe then. I was diagnosed Type 1 diabetic in 1960 at age 5. As I recall I got my first cell phone in the late '90's and I survived just fine! <br /><br />Take care! <br /><br />Paul<br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
<p>What are your rules? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-06-23T17:57:00Z
Seek to Understand
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Seek-to-Understand/799140075320477370.html
2016-06-22T17:57:00Z
2016-06-22T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura: <br /><br />I recently read your book, "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Marriage/dp/0061142824" target="_blank">The Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage</a></em>". I am in the 2nd year of my third marriage. I was married twice when I was in my 20's, now once and forever in my 50's. The first two were like something from the movie '<em><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misery_(film)" target="_blank">Misery</a></em>'. I was heavily driven by my mothers-in-law when I was too young. I was too inexperienced to stand up to them and their angry anti-male attitudes. <br /><br />Thank you not only for painting the visions that men and women can come together and have a mutually Happy and harmonious marriage, but also identifying and addressing the root causes of what can make us "go of the tracks". I wish more people would embrace this, and stop having empty, roommate-like marriages, or bitter cold wars. <br /><br />Seeking to understand the other person's point of view, and seeking to be a giver versus a taker is the key. Thank you! <br /><br />George<br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
<p>Are you a giver or a taker? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-06-22T17:57:00Z
Privileges Have to Be Earned
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Privileges-Have-to-Be-Earned/42685419439785405.html
2016-06-22T17:57:00Z
2016-06-22T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr, Laura<br /><br />I think it's a big mistake to give your kid a cell phone before the age of 18. However, (A Big however here), in this day and age our kids are targets for predators. Going anywhere without some sort of way to call for help from their parents or other authorities is not wise. <br /><br />I say just give them a very basic, simple phone without the bells and whistles and distractions on it. Let them keep it only for the purpose of making or receiving calls from the appropriate people. If they want all the other stuff, they have to work for those privileges and wait until they are mature enough to handle the responsibility of owning a smartphone. Privileges are not rights. They have to be earned.<br /><br /><br /><br />What is your family cell phone policy? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-06-22T17:57:00Z
My Home, My rules
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Home,-My-rules/-806268704165590128.html
2016-06-21T17:57:00Z
2016-06-21T17:57:00Z
<p><br />My daughter didn't get a phone until she was about 17. She was home schooled and didn't need to call home. My son is almost 16 and still doesn't own one. He has no need. I wouldn't mind him having a phone, but not a smartphone. <br /><br />There is way too much out there and it's not worth it. When they reach adulthood they should, of course, be given more freedom. But if they are still very dependent upon you, living in your house, not paying rent, etc. You still have guidance to give and a say in what goes on under your roof. <br /><br /></p>
<p>What is your family cell phone policy? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-06-21T17:57:00Z
Grieving Differently
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Grieving-Differently/-903339660557054224.html
2016-06-21T17:57:00Z
2016-06-21T17:57:00Z
<p><br />When someone suffers a loss, you should never say that you know how they feel. You don't. <br /><br />Everyone is different in how they grieve. Someone may have had a bad relationship with their loved one and be full of regrets. They may feel very angry. Others are more at peace with it and know that their loved one had a good full life. <br /><br />When I am with the family members of my end of life patients, I give emotional support and the families talk about their loved one's life. They talk about what they did when they were healthy. They share some very fond memories and it helps them a lot. Sometimes people just need someone to listen and care about what they are saying. <br /><br /><br /></p>
<p>Are you the shoulder everybody leans on? Tell us how you handle it, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-06-21T17:57:00Z
Changing for the Better
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-for-the-Better/724278607449752869.html
2016-06-20T17:58:00Z
2016-06-20T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I can't tell you how glad I am that I started getting your podcasts. You keep me great company in the car, while working on crafts, doing chores, and right now as I am in bed icing my broken foot. <br /><br />I think you would appreciate knowing that since I started listening to these podcasts a few months ago, my thinking has changed for the better. Most of my family live in different states. I have always invited them to come out to San Diego, but nobody wants to travel out here. My son and I always have to go there. It used to annoy me until I had a duh moment. The light in my brain went on and I realized that I had it all wrong. <br /><br />I am blessed with a family in which we all love each other. I love being with them and it really doesn't make any difference who goes where as long as we are together. There are other instances where my thinking has changed and my awesome hard working husband is enjoying that. Thank you again for all you do and for being such an inspiration to all of us. <br /><br />Your faithful listener, <br /><br />Laurie <br /><br /></p>
<p>Who makes you want to be a better person? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-06-20T17:58:00Z
What Would Dr. Laura Say?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Would-Dr.-Laura-Say/-511402845701782400.html
2016-06-20T17:57:00Z
2016-06-20T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I just want to say hats off to you for always being helpful! There are many situations, before I respond, in which I ask myself, 'What Dr. Laura would say?'... <br /><br />I've often thought of calling in for assistant with a situation and have found that if I just breathe and take a step back, I will likely find the answer myself. I have had the good fortune of working with some pretty fantastic people. I have been able to expand my understanding through listening to <strong>AND</strong> thinking of what you would say. <br /><br />So thank you, Dr. Laura, for being straight forward, wise, and willing to step up and help others step up. You are appreciated!<br /><br /><br /><br />Who is your moral compass? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-06-20T17:57:00Z
Overthinking And Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Overthinking-And-Kids/520138589996295955.html
2016-06-17T17:58:00Z
2016-06-17T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I was asked to help out at a daycare where my wife worked when we were first married due to staff shortage. At one point a 5-year-old boy came up to me, very upset. <br /><br />"<em>Teacher!</em>" he says, "<em>I'm a girl!</em>" I looked at him and asked, "<em>Are you a girl?</em>" He looks at me a bit shocked by my response. The little boy then says, "<em>No-o-o.</em>" I reply, "<em>Well?</em>" He shrugs, and says "<em>Oh!</em>" as he runs off with a sigh of relief. <br /><br />I was an Uncle at 14-years-old and could never have children of my own. I am the proud uncle to 45 nephews and nieces, 80 great-nephews and nieces. I think, at times, that our responses to children's problems are over thought. <br /><br />Thanks for recognizing and celebrating the importance of Children Family and Faith. <br /><br />Hank<br /><br /><br /><br />What do you think of the Millennial generation? Tell us your thoughts, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-06-17T17:58:00Z
Who Is Dr. Laura?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Who-Is-Dr.-Laura/316446988398779382.html
2016-06-17T17:57:00Z
2016-06-17T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I've been a random listener of your show for many years. Lately, I've been hearing a lot of phone calls about "doing the right thing" in the Catholic religion. During these little moral phone calls, I'm always brought back to when I was a tween and I thought you would get a kick out of my story. <br /><br />My family is a '<em>practicing</em>' Catholic family. Growing up, my father would take all the kids to confession on the first Saturday of the month. I was about 12-years-old at the time. That night at the dinner table, my sister put her fork down, looked at my parents and asked, "Who is Dr. Laura?" <br /><br />My dad gave her a look of surprise and asked where she got that name. He knew who you were. She said, "<em>Today at confession, the priest gave me my penance and then after my blessing, he told me that I need to get a radio and listen to Dr. Laura.</em>" <br /><br />HA! So, thank you for being you. I applaud you. You are a blessing to so many people. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Cindy<br /><br /><br /><br />What are you blessed with? Share your thoughts with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-06-17T17:57:00Z
How Does A Society 'Remasculate' Men
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Does-A-Society-Remasculate-Men/910923236394302655.html
2016-06-15T17:58:00Z
2016-06-15T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just wanted to write in to share a post I wrote with you. This is my answer to "<em>Where have all the good men gone?</em>". </p>
<blockquote>"How does a society "remasculate" its males?? It'll be generations and probably some incredible hardships before that happens. The greatest generation seems to be the last bastion of predictably masculine males. Baby Boomers, Gen X & Y and Millennial guys?? They're few and far between...just ask any single gal looking for a genuine man in her life. <br /><br />While that has huge implications for future demographics, it's more frightening the prospect that the XY <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heterogametic_sex" target="_blank">heterogametic sex</a> could not fight their way out of a wet paper bag given the need."</blockquote>
<br /><br /><br />What do you think of the Millennial generation? Tell us your thoughts, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-06-15T17:58:00Z
Men And Women Have Different Relationship Wants
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Men-And-Women-Have-Different-Relationship-Wants/-458723282187024815.html
2016-06-15T17:57:00Z
2016-06-15T17:57:00Z
<p><br />After being married to same man for 46 years, I can say that men and women definitely look for different things in a relationship!<br /><br />In some areas, of course, we have the same goals: friendship, comfort, support. In other areas there can be huge differences. My dear sweet Aunt Annie, who never swore, was the kindest most caring woman I've ever known said on the subject once: "<em>Men basically want a mother they can have sex with.</em>" <br /><br />After I picked myself up off the floor, I ruminated this over and over. I believe that she is right. <strong>They want nurturing, praise and sex</strong>. Women want a friend they can trust and who always supports them no matter what. And, yes, someone that they too can have enjoyable sex with. Most men require more freedom in a relationship than do women. Most women require more communication than most men do too!<br /><br /><br /><br />What do you think men and women look for in a relationship? Tell us your thoughts, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-06-15T17:57:00Z
Parents 1. Kid 0.
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parents-1.-Kid-0./-770302181610881016.html
2016-06-14T17:58:00Z
2016-06-14T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g"><span><span>The first time my 10-year-old threw a tantrum she was sitting on the floor. She was only a year old and she didn't get a toy she wanted. She proceeded to scream, kick and cry. <br /><br />My wife and I both lo</span></span><span><span><span>oked at her and laughed. Next thing I did was sit on the floor next to her and do exactly what she did. I started screaming, kicking my feet, threw myself backwards rolling around "<em>crying</em>". <br /><br />The look on her face was priceless. It could have been interpreted as " what the crap are you doing?" Never and I mean NEVER did it ever happen again! <br /><br />Parents 1. Kid 0.</span></span></span></span></span></span><br /><br /><br />Thanks,<br /><br />Bob<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever turned the tables on your kid? Tell us what happened, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-06-14T17:58:00Z
Sharing Gentle Moments
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sharing-Gentle-Moments/408074439827882512.html
2016-06-14T17:57:00Z
2016-06-14T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><span><span>When my son was a baby, I would snuggle with him in my arms and on my lap. When he got older, sometimes he would be tired or stressed. When this happened, we had what we called: a "<em>gentle moment</em>". <br /><br />This is when we would both stop whatever we were doing and hug each ot</span></span><span><span><span>her. Not a quick hug sissy hug wither! It was always a special time when either of us need it. He's 18 now but I guarantee if I asked him for a "gentle moment" he'd remember it. It means, I'm running on empty and I need to be filled with your gentle love.</span></span></span><br /><br /><br /><br />Do you and your child ever share moments like this? Tell us about it, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-06-14T17:57:00Z
Teaching Us To Do 'The Right Thing'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teaching-Us-To-Do-The-Right-Thing/-115983657395975816.html
2016-06-13T17:58:00Z
2016-06-13T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I've listened to every show you've recorded for over 3 years. I've learned SO much regarding personal relationships! The list is so long that I laugh to myself almost daily. <br /><br />I love your uncanny ability to move on so cleanly to a new caller, <em>immediately</em> after being completely frustrated by the previous one. Sometimes I hold the anger about a caller's stupidity through several calls. You are able to brush it off and move on with a new, bright tone in your voice. I am amazed at that this ability. I have practiced this skill in myself often; I'm getting better and better the more I hear you do it. <br /><br />Thank you for that indirect learning opportunity. It is a valuable skill. I've wanted to share this with you for months now. Thanks again for EVERYTHING you put up with to teach us how to 'do the RIGHT thing.' <br /><br />Mary<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />What have you learned from our show? Share your thoughts with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-06-13T17:58:00Z
Where Have All the Good Men Gone?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Where-Have-All-the-Good-Men-Gone/-96908189216693413.html
2016-06-13T17:57:00Z
2016-06-13T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Many of us in our forties have been beaten into submission by the feminist and anti-male environment. If you survived all that, then you must really feel like and outcast or dinosaur.<br /><br />The evening news, television, movies all confirm it. So what do we do? We put man armor on and confide in very small trusted groups of friends. We live in a very small circle and survive anyway we can.<br /><br /> Your asked where are, we are hiding in personal bunkers...waiting for the social and political weather to change.<br /><br /><br /><br />Are you having a hard time finding Mr. Right? Tell us your story, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-06-13T17:57:00Z
My Independent Daughter
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Independent-Daughter/-909972195979620862.html
2016-06-10T17:57:00Z
2016-06-10T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I contacted your program via email about 8 months ago in regard to my 19-year-old daughter wanting to move to Hawaii to join a farming program. You had called me and said for me to be proud of myself, for raising an independent daughter and let her go fulfill her dreams. To support her wishes to explore this big world she lives in. I had a very hard time emotionally letting her go do this but I kept telling myself what you had said in my mind over and over until I found peace with her going. I now want to let you know how well she is doing. <br /><br />She bought a car, she works very hard and she absolutely loves it there. She currently works at a bed and breakfast near Kona on a farm in exchange for her food and housing. She also gets paid a small wage for her duties there. She has a 35 hour a week job in a Vegan Restaurant, which she also enjoys. <br /><br />I am so happy to say that at the end of this month my husband and I are going there for 10 days to spend some much needed quality time with her as I have missed her so very much. She will be turning 20 while we are there. I am so proud of her and the personal strength she has shown me in spreading her wings and maturing into a beautiful Island Girl. <br /><br />Thank you for the advice on looking at her decision as a job well done by her father and me, in raising her to be a self-sufficient adult. You said we should pat ourselves on the back and be so happy in her decision to go. It was those kind words that make me look at this whole experience in a new light. We are very proud parents and my daughter has amazed us with showing us she can make it anywhere she wants to live with her dedication to succeed and explore the many opportunities life has to offer her. I will be sending you a postcard from Hawaii in the very near future. <br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura<br /><br /><br /><br />What do you think helps to raise a self-sufficient child? Share your thoughts with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-06-10T17:57:00Z
Poodles Are Not Dogs
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Poodles-Are-Not-Dogs/-182124926986579577.html
2016-06-10T17:57:00Z
2016-06-10T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />You had me in tears several times today. My emotions ran the gamut. The only way to get my zen back was to head to the beach with my buddy.<br /><br />I've attached a picture of the youngest "<em>person</em>" in our family. I agree with you, that poodles are not dogs. He turns heads everywhere we go. People are constantly approaching me to ask about him. The interaction with people always puts the skip back in my step and leaves me in a much better mood. <br /><br />I hope he puts a smile on your face, too! Thanks for being you! <br /><br /><br />Signed,<br /><br />My Hubby's girlfriend and Stay-at-home mom to 3 teens. (I'm still smiling)<br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/pwuyufbwjxslff.jpeg" alt="" /><br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a picture you'd like to share? Send it to us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-06-10T17:57:00Z
I Married a Keeper
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Married-a-Keeper/-258560309929218296.html
2016-06-09T17:58:00Z
2016-06-09T17:58:00Z
<p>I'm not much of an avid listener anymore... And it's not because your words were uninspiring, it is actually very much the opposite! <br /><br />I used to drive quite a bit for work and listen to you very often. Your words were like an alarm going off in my brain everyday screaming, "You're NOT living up to your children's needs." Every day at work became torture with that realization. So when I told my husband that I needed to be home with our boys and quit working he knew it was the right decision. I married a keeper. <br /><br />Together we figured out a way to make it work. Sacrifices have definitely been made, but three months ago I quit my job and there is not a second that goes by where I question our decision. So, while I don't have as much time to listen to your show, I do have two little boys can be a handful. <br /><br />I am eternally grateful for your harsh, wise and loving words that inspired me to be the mother my children need. You probably get tons of letters like this but I had to thank you. Thank you very much! <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Hellen<br /><br /><br /><br />When does Dr. Laura's words go off in your head? Share your thoughts with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-06-09T17:58:00Z
Common Sense Isn't So Common
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Common-Sense-Isnt-So-Common/-374574931496465709.html
2016-06-09T17:57:00Z
2016-06-09T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I emailed you about 2 years ago about my family status. I'm a 32-year-old single father of a now 10-year-old daughter. My wife passed away 3 years ago from cervical cancer. We both live with my mom and dad ever since the passing of my wife. My parents have been phenomenal with the help. <br /><br />Like some of your other listeners, I've also made a commitment to abstain from a relationship with another woman until my daughter becomes 18 and over. Even though it hasn't been easy, I've stayed focused! I've also heard some comments outside my immediate family about when will I start dating again. I take it with a grain of salt and pay no mind to it. <br /><br />Thank you for all you do! I found your radio program in a time of need and you've been a big help in my life. You give simple, common sense advice about right and wrong and doing the right thing. As they say, common sense isn't so common. <br /><br /><br /><br />What kind of dad do you want to be for your family? Share your thoughts with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-06-09T17:57:00Z
Professional Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Professional-Mom/435716890801307172.html
2016-06-08T17:58:00Z
2016-06-08T17:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been an avid fan and listener since my 1997 when my daughter was born. I was a struggling stay-at-home mom, only because I loved my job as a High School teacher and had no real friends outside of work. I made up my mind that I would somehow be a "professional mom", as this was the only way that I would not go stir crazy being at home.<br /><br /> Then I became pregnant with my son and soon had 2 babies at home. I soon found a great support group. We had play dates, parties, outings, trips to the playground, each other's house and monthly "meeting" for the moms. I quickly made many new mom friends and became the "professional" mom I wanted to be! I also president of the mother's group! <br /><br />I never realized that my kiddo's remember all the fun times we had, until I heard my oldest daughter bragging about all the stuff we did together when they were little. My kids are now 19, 18 & 16 -- hard working, level headed, good kids!! My husband and I receive lots of accolades from other adults about our kids. No drama, just lots of family time together. No regrets. Thanks for all you do to encourage others that it is important to raise our own children!!! <br /><br />Lilly <br /><br /> </p>
<p>What kind of mom do you want to be? Share your thoughts with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-06-08T17:58:00Z
Men Are 'Fixers'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Men-Are-Fixers/-107811451854849556.html
2016-06-08T17:57:00Z
2016-06-08T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hey Dr. Laura, <br /><br /> I'm a long time listener and I have you in my ear reminding me all the time how to properly care and feed my man. I just came across the list of "rules for women created by men". It made me laugh and think of you. <br /><br />My personal favorite is number 5. I've heard you reference this so many times. Men are fixers! Girlfriends and sisters are good for "just listening," but your man is there to actually fix your problem. <br /><br />Have a good week and keep doing what you do! You have made such an impact on me and my family, we can't thank you enough.<br /><br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/hectmfxwyety.jpeg" alt="" /><br /><br /><br /><br />Have you seen a picture that you think Dr. Laura would like? Share it with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-06-08T17:57:00Z
My 'Done' List
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Done-List/26534848332656664.html
2016-06-06T17:58:00Z
2016-06-06T17:58:00Z
<p><br />After I had my first baby by cesarean, I felt that I wasn't getting anything done all day. So instead of making a "to-do" list, I made a "done" list of every task I completed. Seeing that long list in the evening reassured me and restored my sense of accomplishment.<br /> <br />I was blessed to be able to have all 3 of my other children naturally, and in the process learned a lot about the process of birth. Even after a normal birth, feeling fine, taking care of a baby is a full-time job!<br /><br /><br /><br />How did you cope with the first few months of mommyhood? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-06-06T17:58:00Z
Gotta Love Millennials
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Gotta-Love-Millennials/-508253914705583507.html
2016-06-06T17:57:00Z
2016-06-06T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I thought you'd get a kick out of this video! The title says it all.<br /><br />Love you big!<br /><br /></p>
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/hLpE1Pa8vvI" frameborder="0"></iframe>
<p><br /><br /><br />Have you seen a video that you think Dr. Laura would like? Share it with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-06-06T17:57:00Z
Teaching Children to be Self-Sufficient
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teaching-Children-to-be-Self-Sufficient/-903037561181287773.html
2016-06-03T17:58:00Z
2016-06-03T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Good evening Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I want to tell you of a video I watched on the Internet, of a small boy who caught a fish using just a toy fishing pole. (<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFIOBXVJY0Y" target="_blank">Please click here if you would like to view this video</a>)<br /><br />Several days ago, you had spoken about moments of opportunity when parents can teach their child or coddle them. This video of the boy fishing is a good example of this teaching moment. <br /><br />The boy can't be more than 3 yrs. He is seen casting his little reel into the water and moments later you can hear the boy's father say, "<em>He's got one!</em>" The father then continues to give the young man instructions on what to do; he never physically helps the boy. In fact, the father can be heard in the background saying to his son, "<em>I want you to do it by yourself</em>". The boy's mother can also be heard in the background encouraging his as well. <br /><br />Long story short the little man pulls the fish onto land and the father grabs and holds the fish up for his son to see. He even tells him how to hold it. The look of joy and the sense of accomplishment in this boy's face are priceless as he yells out, "<em>I caught my first fish!</em>" <br />Kudos to this boy's parents. Watching this video reminded me of what you had discussed on moments of opportunity.<br /><br />Thank you once again for guidance and for always sticking up for the kids. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Patrick <br /><br /><br /><br />How did you spend family time? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-06-03T17:58:00Z
Why Do You Love Me?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Do-You-Love-Me/861253646186508240.html
2016-06-03T17:57:00Z
2016-06-03T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been listening to your program for about 18 years. I didn't always live according to the values and morals that you preach teach and nag about, but I have learned much over the years. I am now proud to say that I am a stay-at-home mom to my two little boys. I have you to thank for teaching me the merits of valuing marriage and family. I incorporate your knowledge and advice into my daily life by listening to <a href="/programhighlights" target="_blank">your podcast</a>. You help me every day! <br /><br />I have heard you mention the children's book you wrote, "<em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0060278668/ref=tmm_hrd_new_olp_0?ie=UTF8&condition=new&qid=&sr=" target="_blank">Why Do You Love Me</a></em>", and decided to buy it. We received it today and it is already a favorite. Thank you for all you do. <br /><br />Lots of love, <br /><br />Andrea <br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
What's your favorite Dr. Laura book? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-06-03T17:57:00Z
Time Moves Fast
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Time-Moves-Fast/725072892522100523.html
2016-06-02T17:58:00Z
2016-06-02T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Before my first daughter was born I assumed I would go back to work, but after she was born there was no way that was happening. I wasn't going to have anyone else raise my child. <br /><br />One of my husband's unmarried co-workers asked me what I did all day long, after I had the baby. I was speechless. I just told him to wait until he had a baby one day! I would never have wanted to miss my baby's development and company. <br /><br />Every day with a small child seems very long, but in reality the childhood years go by very fast and then they are gone. Hoping, like you, for grandchildren sometime soon!<br /><br /><br /></p>
How did you spend the first few years of you babies life? Tell us , by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-06-02T17:58:00Z
Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Now-I-Lay-Me-Down-to-Sleep/972297607212160971.html
2016-06-02T17:57:00Z
2016-06-02T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura: <br /><br />I just listened to the call where you discussed the prayer '<em><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Now_I_Lay_Me_Down_to_Sleep" target="_blank">Now I lay me down to sleep</a></em>'. It reminded me that when my daughter was little, the original version of that prayer scared her. <br /><br />I don't remember if we made it up or heard it somewhere, but here is our more comforting version:</p>
<blockquote><em>Now I lay me down to sleep, </em><br /><em>I pray the Lord my soul to keep. </em><br /><br /><em>Guard me Jesus through the night, </em><br /><em>Wake me with the morning light.</em></blockquote>
Love your program and the advice you share! <br /><br />Dawn<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a parenting tip you'd like to share? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
Staff
2016-06-02T17:57:00Z
#22Pushups To Honor Those Who Serve
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/22Pushups-To-Honor-Those-Who-Serve/462061670199877579.html
2016-06-01T17:58:00Z
2016-06-01T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I've been listening to you since the early 90's, and I've always loved your passion and honesty. I also admire your dedication to our troops. <br /><br />My friend is a veteran and health advocate in our tiny town in Colorado. He is participating in the <a href="https://activeheroes.org/22pushups/" target="_blank">#22Pushups To Honor Those Who Serve challenge</a>--22 pushups each day for 22 days to bring awareness to the 22 veterans who commit suicide every day in this country. </p>
<p><br />If anyone would also like to participate, you can sign up through their main website. Just <a href="https://activeheroes.org/22pushups/" target="_blank">click here</a> to be redirected to their participation page. This is an awesome way to help and get fit at the same time. <br /><br />Enjoy! </p>
<br /><br />Have you found a way to help someone in need? Tell us how, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-06-01T17:58:00Z
You Saved My Butt Too
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Saved-My-Butt-Too/-345942730459903817.html
2016-06-01T17:57:00Z
2016-06-01T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I spoke with you a few months ago after discovering that my wife was having an emotional affair. I asked you if this was ever a justifiable action. You replied "<em>No, but if you haven't been giving to her emotional and mental well-being, it is understandable</em>". <br /><br />After many many sleepless nights of thinking how I didn't "feed" those needs over the years, I was able to put the incident in the past and concentrate on my own faults. It was not an easy process to see her turn to someone else emotionally but even harder to admit to what a cold, manipulative, absent spouse I've been. <br /><br />Thank you for helping me. <br /><br />Jack<br /><br /><br /><br />Has Dr. Laura saved your butt as well? Tell us how, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-06-01T17:57:00Z
STILL Happily Married
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/STILL-Happily-Married/165814671365915653.html
2016-05-31T17:58:00Z
2016-05-31T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I just wanted to thank you for your book, "<em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>". My wise mother gave it to me before I married my husband, over 10 years ago. We have three happy daughters, my husband and I are still very happily married. My husband works full time and allows me the privilege of staying home with our kids. </p>
Your book has helped me learn to treat my husband with the respect and love he deserves and helps our home be a place we all want to be because we genuinely want to be with each other. Thank you again for your book!<br /><br /><br /><br />Which book has helped you? Share your story with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-05-31T17:58:00Z
Behold the Underlying Truth
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Behold-the-Underlying-Truth/645772609738668464.html
2016-05-31T17:57:00Z
2016-05-31T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Oh my dear friend, brilliant resource, spiritual advisor, and cheerleader...I have composed many emails to you in my head. I'm finally sitting down to tap this out because of a call I heard yesterday. <br /><br />The caller was an older sister in a family where the dad was ill. The details aren't important, it's the remark she made about doing the right thing followed by "<em>...but...</em>". You called her out, of course. <br /><br />This is something that my husband and I have been saying for years. <strong>We consider "B.U.T." to be an acronym... for "BEHOLD the UNDERLYING TRUTH"</strong>. Whatever remark being made is negated by..."behold the underlying truth". <br /><br /><em>"I should leave, B.U.T. I don't want to be alone." <br /></em><br /><em>"I should stay home and raise my kids, B.U.T. we need the income for day care</em>." <br /><br />Until callers are willing to do the work, there is usually a "B.U.T." <br /><br />Many thanks to you for your heart, guidance, stories, humor. I have listened to you and admired you for 22 years. My husband and I have built solid, happy lives that includes 4 children. I've been a homemaker since the first was born. I adore you! Thank you for enriching my life. <br /><br />Gratefully yours, Love, <br /><br />Meredith</p>
<br /><br />Do you have any pieces of wisdom you'd like to share? Send it to us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-05-31T17:57:00Z
How I Survive Life's Curve Balls
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Survive-Lifes-Curve-Balls/516153391147300562.html
2016-05-26T17:58:00Z
2016-05-26T17:58:00Z
<p> </p>
In the past two years my husband of 20 years left me after an affair with his high school honey. <br /><br />How do I survive? Through the grace of God, good friends and a lot of water therapy. I am going into retirement on the water. I have three wonderful boats (including my father's boat) and can't wait to enjoy them. <br /><br />Words of wisdom from friends are my mantras. "<em>I choose to be happy</em>" and "<em>love never dies</em>" are my favorites. That time that I spend with my family and friends is all the more precious. I choose to look forward and rejoice in the freedoms that I have; living in this great country and the new life I am make for myself. <br /><br />I leave for my maiden voyage in the next couple of weeks. I am planning on getting my captains license soon. <br /><br />Not bad, huh? <br /><br />Cindy<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you get by, when you get thrown a surprise? Share with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-05-26T17:58:00Z
If It Wasn't For You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/If-It-Wasnt-For-You/-542271194823859301.html
2016-05-26T17:57:00Z
2016-05-26T17:57:00Z
<p> </p>
Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I recently bought a new truck and had a chance to start listening to you again. I have been in a relationship for about 4 years that was going nowhere. I listened closely every time a caller asked you what to do in the same situation. It really made me evaluate my own life choices. <br /><br />If it wasn't for you, I would still be trying to make that relationship work. Thank you Dr. Laura for helping so many people. You truly are a gift to the world!! <br /><br />Lauren<br /><br /><br /><br />What do you get from listening to the show? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-05-26T17:57:00Z
What Ex-Boyfriend?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Ex-Boyfriend/-122453598257465791.html
2016-05-25T17:58:00Z
2016-05-25T17:58:00Z
<p> </p>
I called you a year ago, telling you about some boyfriend of mine who wanted to 'take a break' and was completely playing games with me. I mentioned one of the negatives about him -- he lives with his mom. You took that and sure did run with it! <br /><br />You talked some sense into me that day, telling me I was dating a BOY, not a MAN. You helped get me through that breakup. Just listening to you in my headphones during every grocery store trip, every day at work, or during my long commute in traffic. <br /><br />I found some hobbies cooking and focused on respecting myself more. Two years after that breakup, I have a great relationship with a loving and honest REAL MAN who lives on his own. Just like I do! <br /><br />And that ex-boyfriend? He still lives with his mom. <br /><br />Jodi <br /><br />P.s. I have listening to you since I was, oh 9 years old! Thanks to my mother for blasting you in the car, and being a stay-at-home Mom. She made the best example for me. If I was verging away from those values at all, you certainly re-enforced them!<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you get over a break up? Share with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-05-25T17:58:00Z
To Abstain or Not to Abstain?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/To-Abstain-or-Not-to-Abstain/158710034997863629.html
2016-05-25T17:57:00Z
2016-05-25T17:57:00Z
<br />Abstinence until marriage is the best!!! It's also the BEST gift you could ever give your future spouse.<br /><br />To say you WAITED for them, instead of shacking up and throwing the benefits and blessings of marriage to the wind. If you do have sex without the blessing of marriage, you rob yourself and your partner of the best blessing you will ever know. <br /><br />Its not anything special if you don't wait.<br /><br /><br /><span>What are your thoughts on abstinence before marriage? Share with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-05-25T17:57:00Z
Home for the Summer - a Letter to Our College Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Home-for-the-Summer---a-Letter-to-Our-College-Kids/86200181225723837.html
2016-05-24T17:58:00Z
2016-05-24T17:58:00Z
<blockquote>
<p><br />Greetings Dr. Laura! <br /><br />Your advice to a strand of callers with college-aged or older children prompted me to write the attached letter to my own children. My two kids are coming home for the summer from college and grad school. I thought you would get a kick out of this. I thank you for your constant reminder that the GOAL in raising our kids is for them to go OUT into the world as strong independent and capable adults. <br /><br />I can tell you that all 3 of our children value a traditional family. Your input has helped mold them into young adults that see the value of a mom acting like a mom, and a dad acting as a dad - the old fashioned way. <br /><br />"<em>Greetings Family, <br /><br />One of the pleasures of seeing you wonderful children grow up is watching how capable you have become. You have grown your skill set to effectively managing and accomplishing most every task that is associated with running a household and your individual lives. Congratulations! With that said, this summer we will put those skills to good use. <br /><br />The basic ingredients for a happy household are listed below - but the bottom line is one of my favorite phrases "just take care of business!"? <br /><br /> </em></p>
<ul>
<em>
<li><em><strong>General House Orderliness:</strong> Keep all of your belongs within the 4 walls of your room. Not on the family room floor and not on the kitchen island. </em></li>
<br />
<li><em><strong>Common Areas:</strong> Try to do things you see that they need to be done - if the dishwasher is full, empty it. If the dog needs food, fill up the bowl. Pretend like I don't exist and keep mindful of the regular things that need to be taken care of. </em></li>
<br />
<li><em><em><strong>Food:</strong> YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR MAKING, EATING AND CLEANING UP YOUR OWN BREAKFAST AND LUNCH. Don't ask me to bring you food or make you food. You are capable of finding something, making it and cleaning up after yourselves. You can take turns and work as a team if you choose. I will be making a dinner each night, but we'd love it if you would test your cooking skills for the family too! </em></em></li>
<br />
<li><em><em><strong>Laundry:</strong> Quite simple - do your laundry weekly yourself. Bring it down, wash it, dry it, fold it, and get it out within 2 hours. </em></em></li>
<br />
<li><em><em><strong>Outside errands: </strong>You all have a car with the money you earned! And have the capability to do your errands. If you need to make a doctor's appointment, make it. If you need deodorant, buy it. Just do what you need to do and pretend like I'm not here to do it for you. </em></em></li>
<br />
<li><em><em><strong>Money:</strong> You all have jobs and have your own money. Please be prepared to spend it on things you would like to eat or do. Do not ask us for Chipotle, movie ticket money or gas. </em></em></li>
<br /><em>
<li><em><em><strong>Chores:</strong> I don't really like that word anymore. We all live here and can pitch in. </em></em></li>
<em> </em> </em> </em>
</ul>
<em> <br />So are you ready?? Your dad and I have all the confidence in you all and your abilities! We know we can work as a team and have an awesome summer together. Thank you in advance for your cooperation and commitment to the family. <br /><br />GO TEAM!!!</em><br /><br /><br /><br />How do you try to keep your family motivated? Share with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
</blockquote>
Staff
2016-05-24T17:58:00Z
Don't Give Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dont-Give-Up/972214379999651984.html
2016-05-24T17:57:00Z
2016-05-24T17:57:00Z
<br />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My husband and I have been married 38 years. We are both 62. We married at age 24 and had relatively few problems in our relationship until we had children at age 28. <br /><br />I was very task oriented and child centered. My husband was frequently last on my priority list. I had so many duties pulling me in all directions, so I thought my husband should "man up & be a BIG BOY". My husband was frequently angry and hostile about his feelings of neglect. <br /><br />There were MANY arguments between us and the big "D" word was sometimes mentioned. I had times where I did make him a priority, but it was so easy to get busy and fall back into the old ways. We were of Catholic faith and both of us knew that even though we had times of despair, we also had of great love between us. We both knew that we did not want to break up our family because this would mean hurting our three children deeply. We stayed together through the cycles of anger and love. <br /><br />Our third child left for college when we were both 54. Oh my GOSH! We were just like newlyweds! We had more time for dates and could make love on a regular basis almost anytime we wanted. These past 8 years have not been perfect, but we now have more time to nurture out relationship and we are so happy.</p>
<blockquote><em>So, my little bit of advice is: </em><br /><br />1. Practice "<em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands</a></em>" <br /><br />2. If you are both people of high character, who have been faithful to each other, PLEASE stay together! Don't give up on each other! The grass is not greener with someone else. Your children will remain happier and healthier!</blockquote>
<p><br />As my husband and I grow old together I still see the hot young man with the 6 pack abs and long dark hair. He feels like home and that's where I am happy to stay. Thank you for helping me to keep him happy now in what I consider are the best years of our marriage.<br /><br />Jenny<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have any pieces of advice you'd like to share with other listeners? Please share by emailing your thoughts t<span>o us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span> </p>
Staff
2016-05-24T17:57:00Z
My Daily Ritual
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Daily-Ritual/-561772630230467589.html
2016-05-23T17:58:00Z
2016-05-23T17:58:00Z
<br />Hello Dr. Laura: <br /><br />I have been an avid listener and fan for 15 years. I just love listening to all the advice you provide from a different spectrum. I quote you to my friends and family all the time. My favorite gift to give for a Bridal shower is "<em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands</a>" </em>and<em> "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0061142824/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_dp_ss_1?pf_rd_p=1944687622&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=0060520620&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=072NYVDTNRNBD2SAF6XK" target="_blank">The Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage</a>" </em> I just can't help it. <br /><br />Your show is my everyday ritual. When I get behind I catch up on my podcasts as I am part of the Dr. Laura family. It's interesting but I have laughed with you, worked out with you, and I have even cried with you; especially when I hear you taking the time to HELP them see what they were blind to see or not BRAVE enough to admit themselves. I guess that's where the healing starts and you are a blessing for sticking to the truth. <br /><br />I have made mistakes in my past and what truly helps me move pass it, is actually accepting where I went wrong or what I could have done better. I take the bad with the good, because without either we wouldn't have learned either. Life is made up with constant crossroads, and guess what? WE get to choose our paths in life and we decide which road way to take every time. Taking responsibility for my actions helped me leave it in the past and accept the fact that I am human and I am allowed to make mistakes. I owe it to society and myself to learn from them so I can be a better version of myself every day. <br /><br />For that I must thank you Dr. Laura! You give me strength every day. You are the Jiminy Cricket on my shoulder. You continue to inspire all listeners and thank you for inspiring me. I am a Psych Major, one because of my passion in it and two because I always wanted a job where I could make a difference in at least "1" person's life. I am my Husbands Girlfriend and thanks to you I Chose Wisely and GUESS what we even TREAT Kindly.<br /><br />Best Wishes always ... <br />Cyndie
<p><br /><br />How do try to be a better person? Share your thoughts with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-05-23T17:58:00Z
It Is Their Choice To Live a Better Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Is-Their-Choice-To-Live-a-Better-Life/823528289537527602.html
2016-05-23T17:57:00Z
2016-05-23T17:57:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Your e-mail asked if any listeners had a family member with addiction issues and how it affected us. My son, now age 24, was addicted to prescription drugs when he was 19-years-old. As soon as I figured this out, his father and I hired an Interventionist, staged an Intervention and he agreed to go to a 90 day treatment center in another state to receive help. It was probably the most stressful year of my life and money well spent. <br /><br />He went across the country and it was like the "school of life" for this upper middle class kid from the midwest. We visited him numerous times in support of his treatment and participated in counseling to understand and get to the root of why he used drugs. He came home after a year and has been working full time, going to school as well as taking care of his rescue dog. I attended parent support groups and see a therapist that specializes in families and addiction. <br /><br />My son has been clean and sober for 4 years now and I pray that he stays on this path. As I see the overdose rate in our state and this country skyrocket, and have met parents who have lost their kids to this disease, I thank God every day for the outcome of sober living for my son. Do I still worry? Yes. Addictive behavior is a scary thing and relapse is the concern once an addict is back living in the "real world" outside of a treatment center. I try to help/guide friends who are going through similar situations with their loved ones and always recommend seeking out a treatment center that works on the root of the problem, and to get help ASAP. <br /><br /><strong>In the end, it really is up to the addict to want to get help and live a better life.</strong><br /><br />
<ul>
</ul>
<p><br />How do you help support a loved one in need? Share your thoughts with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-05-23T17:57:00Z
Why I Became a Stay-at-Home Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-I-Became--a-Stay-at-Home-Mom/844454644276640220.html
2016-05-20T17:58:00Z
2016-05-20T17:58:00Z
Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br /> Thirty five years ago I decided to be a stay-at-home mom. Here are just some of the many reasons why: <br />
<ul>
<li>Back then, all moms were stay-at-home moms. </li>
<br />
<li>I needed to take care of my family and I had the opportunity to work for a school that was tied to our church. </li>
<br />
<li>My family needed me.</li>
<br />
<li>I wanted to do the right thing.</li>
</ul>
<p><br /><br /><br />How do you feel about becoming a stay-at-home mom? Share your feelings with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-05-20T17:58:00Z
Cooking with Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cooking-with-Dr.-Laura/-762883575712318306.html
2016-05-20T17:57:00Z
2016-05-20T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Thank you Dr. Laura for all you do for us!! <br /><br />I've enjoyed your commentary for over 15 years. I feel as though you've shown me the light. I have a membership and I listen to your podcast frequently. It's a much enjoyed past time while I fix dinner for my three kids and beloved husband. <br /><br />I thank you for your advice and sacrifice, reaching out to people isn't easy, but you do it with grace and patience. Please don't ever retire.<br /><br />Regards, <br /><br />Sarah<br /><br /><br />What do you do while listening to Dr. Laura? Share with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-05-20T17:57:00Z
Giving In To Mr. Right
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Giving-In-To-Mr.-Right/170947105798410445.html
2016-05-19T17:58:00Z
2016-05-19T17:58:00Z
<p><br />My daughter in law wasn't sure she ever wanted to be married. She dated but always felt something missing. Her passion was music as a singer, songwriter. When my son met her she refused his first three attempts for a date, finally gave in, but it took 2 years to convince her to marry him. <br /><br />Marriage turned out to be not only joyful but also fulfilling. They share the same values, they are able to support each other during trials and challenges. She supported him through graduate school and he encouraged her music. They were married 3 years before they were brave enough to consider parenthood. She felt conflicted about it, even though they both came from loving families and loved children. Their daughter, is the light of their lives and my daughter-inlaw is an incredible, loving mother. She is now pregnant with their second little girl. <br /><br />I am privileged to be a part of their lives. My wonderful husband and I each had parents who were beautiful role models of loving marriages and we are now able to pass that legacy on to our children, and hopefully generations to come. I'm thankful for your positive influence in the lives of many and your relentless passion in defense of children.</p>
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>How do you feel about your daughter-in-law? Share your feekings with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-05-19T17:58:00Z
A Father Should Be Great
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Father-Should-Be-Great/-808809223648935988.html
2016-05-19T17:57:00Z
2016-05-19T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I listen to you on Sirius XM on my way home from work every day, and on the weekends. I agree with almost everything you have to say and only wish I had listened to you years ago. <br /><br />The other day, your topic was about dads leaving their families and you absolutely have to hear an incredible and amazing song by <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kelly_Clarkson" target="_blank">Kelly Clarkson</a>, called "<em><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqCqYP7hDWI" target="_blank">Piece by Piece</a></em>". The song is about Kelly's dad leaving family at a young age. She had tried to get him back into her life. He was not interested. Of course, she becomes famous and now he wants back into her life, but he hasn't earned the right to be in her life. <br /><br />When Kelly performed this on American Idol this past February, again, while 9 months pregnant, she had a hard time finishing the song, it was that emotional. Keith Urban one of the judges and Jennifer Lopez were in tears, as I was watching this incredible and emotional performance. <br /><br /><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FHYBQxURQo" target="_blank">Click here to see this performance</a>.<br /><br />When Dads abandon their families, the hurt lingers for years to come. I truly hope that you can see this video, Dr. Laura. Thank you again for all that you do to help the callers and all of your listeners. You are truly making a difference. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Jill </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Do you have a song that you feel is moving? Share it with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-05-19T17:57:00Z
'What A Baby Costs'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-A-Baby-Costs/363708392860399828.html
2016-05-18T17:57:00Z
2016-05-18T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I am not usually a fan of poetry. However, I enjoy the poems of Edgar A. Guest. Here is one of my favorites which I thought you also might enjoy. <br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
<blockquote>
<p style="text-align: center;">What A Baby Costs</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">By <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edgar_Guest" target="_blank">Edgar Guest</a></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"> </p>
<p style="text-align: center;">"How much do babies cost?" said he</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">The other night upon my knee;</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">And then I said: "They cost a lot;</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">A lot of watching by a cot,</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">A lot of sleepless hours and care,</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">A lot of heart-ache and despair,</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">A lot of fear and trying dread,</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">And sometimes many tears are shed</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">In payment for our babies small,</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">But every one is worth it all.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"> </p>
<p style="text-align: center;">"For babies people have to pay</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">A heavy price from day to day --</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">There is no way to get one cheap.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">Why, sometimes when they're fast asleep</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">You have to get up in the night</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">And go and see that they're all right.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">But what they cost in constant care</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">And worry, does not half compare</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">With what they bring of joy and bliss --</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">You'd pay much more for just a kiss.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"> </p>
<p style="text-align: center;">"Who buys a baby has to pay</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">A portion of the bill each day;</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">He has to give his time and thought</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">Unto the little one he's bought.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">He has to stand a lot of pain</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">Inside his heart and not complain;</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">And pay with lonely days and sad</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">For all the happy hours he's had.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">His smile is worth it all, you bet."</p>
</blockquote>
<br />
<p>To me, a good poem expresses my feelings with words I can't come up with on my own. This one expresses mine. I hope you enjoyed it! <br /><br /><span>Lieutenant Colonel</span> Connors (Retired)<br /><br /><br /></p>
<p>Do you have a favorite poem? Share it with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-05-18T17:57:00Z
I WILL Be Ok!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-WILL-Be-Ok!/-34635667670035203.html
2016-05-18T17:57:00Z
2016-05-18T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I listen to your podcast every single day, as I had to subscribe after recalling a memory in which my father was giving me a ride to town. He turned on the radio and said, " I'm listening to this program. I ONLY listen because she is a tough woman who gets to the point." He listened a lot after that. He had to reiterate that he wasn't listening because he needed help, he's too tough for that. <br /><br />So all these years later I recalled this memory and decided to punch your name into my search engine. I found your site, and after the free trial I had to subscribe. Now you occupy my morning routine and my walks with my dog. I'm going through a tough time, but I will be ok, thanks to you! <br /><br />Thank you for all you do in helping to enrich our time and offer such riches to our lives.</p>
<p><br />How do you handle the tough moments in life? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-05-18T17:57:00Z
Weeding Out the Dishonesty in Dating
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Weeding-Out-the-Dishonesty-in-Dating/39517311796509429.html
2016-05-17T17:58:00Z
2016-05-17T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I met my husband 8 years ago online. I was very leery of the online dating concept but I also knew my "picker" was broken. I knew my "type" had gotten me no where and I was almost 40 years old. I decided to be as honest as I could be in my profile. I did not include public photos as I couldn't be that out there- thinking I will just send them privately. Scott and I did the whole wink thing... and while I was sure he wasn't my type he seemed nice. We ended up emailing for about 4 months before I would speak to him on the phone. Sometimes it was once a week and sometimes it was more. Just getting to know one another. Eventually it blossomed into a marriage!<br /> <br />We lived in different cities before we met so this made it easier. I believe our minds were open and we went at a snails pace. Many that date online don't go through the motions- they just are 0 to 60 and meet right away. I am so glad we went so slow. As we were able to peel back the onion and get to know what makes us each who we were. Dating in general is whatever the person chooses to make it. I do believe you must be very honest about who you are and what you are looking for. Don't have blinders on. <br /><br />If I would have met him in person as a stranger I probably would have been nice but not given him another thought. Look at all that we would have missed. there are crappy and dishonest people online- but I promise you that by going slow you can weed them out- they will move on.</p>
<p><br /><br />What's your view on dating online? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-05-17T17:58:00Z
I'm Not Your Friend, Because I Love You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Not-Your-Friend,-Because-I-Love-You/542400716945170490.html
2016-05-17T17:57:00Z
2016-05-17T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />A friend sent me this yesterday. While watching it, I kept thinking, This mom MUST be a Dr. Laura listener. If she is, she learned well! <br /><br />Glad I listened to this same advice from you years ago. I'm sure you'll get a kick out of this 2 minute video. <br /><br />It's called: "<em><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4OKjNB7KMo" target="_blank">I'm not your friend, kid! Because I love you.</a></em>" <br /><br />Thank you for all you do to guide us. <br /><br />Best, <br /><br />Berna<br /><br /></p>
<p><br /><br />Have you seen a video that reminds you of Dr. Laura? Share it with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-05-17T17:57:00Z
Singing My Own Tune
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Singing-My-Own-Tune/64050341295374534.html
2016-05-16T17:58:00Z
2016-05-16T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been listening to you since before the start of this century. Although I can't recall the particulars this phone call to your program, one point of it struck me and gave me something to think about. Some time back, a female caller seemed lost in finding her identity and confused as to where she belonged in life. This resulted in her stating that she wanted "your life." You responded with a bit of ire, telling her she "couldn't have it". I laughed. <br /><br />It made me reflect on two things:</p>
<ol>
<li>A bluegrass song I used to sing, The song is called "<em><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Chasing-Someone-Elses-Dreams/dp/B00JWO2B0W" target="_blank">Chasing Someone Else's Dreams</a></em>".</li>
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<li>My own identity. </li>
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<p><br />I, along with so many others, admire you for your sound and sensible messages. This is evident throughout all your media outlets. I would imagine that the caller is not alone in wanting your life. What I have learned from your response, validated by the words of this simple tune, is that people need to first realize and then capitalize on their own gifts and strengths. They need turn can'ts into cans and convert their dreams into reality. <br /><br />I appreciate your candor. Sometimes we "get it" with a mere gentle tap on the shoulder or perhaps an elbow to the rib; other times, it takes the brunt of a brick. I think I felt the throb of the latter. I need to get determined to sing to "my own tune." Thanks for your years of wise advice. You never know when it can be life changing. <br /><br />Jane<br /><br /><br /><br />What kind of tune do you sing? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-05-16T17:58:00Z
Love and Adoption
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Love-and-Adoption/508933205115368471.html
2016-05-16T17:57:00Z
2016-05-16T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr Laura, <br /><br />I just listened to your opening remarks on adoption and they really hit home. I am a very fortunate adopted child. I have written you before to tell you about my very special, super loving Dad and Mom. Two things I want to share with you:</p>
<ol>
<li>I completely agree with you on the adoption issue. I have so much respect for my birth mother for giving both me and my sister up so we could have the lives that we have. I have never wanted to find her- I always hoped she found an available man and raised a real family of her own. I was raised with so much love that it never occurred to me to look for my bio parents. So bless you for your support of adoption. </li>
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<li>I need to thank you Mother Laura, for helping to raise me after I lost my mother to lung cancer at age 15. You don't realize how much valuable information and advice you miss out on until you're older! </li>
</ol>
<p>I started listening to you about 10 years ago. Thank you for keeping me priorities straight and guiding me through life and filling in all the gaps. I appreciate you so much and listen daily. XO <br /><br />Jamie<br /><br /><br /><br />Were you adopted? Tell us how your childhood was, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-05-16T17:57:00Z
The Gift That Keeps Giving
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Gift-That-Keeps-Giving/-980085167845266807.html
2016-05-12T17:58:00Z
2016-05-12T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />This last week I took your advice about helping the vets. For Mothers Day, I donated directly to <a href="http://www.operationfamilyfund.org/" target="_blank">Operation Family Fund</a> in honor of my mom! My mom is a fine example of charity and love towards others. It just seemed like money well spent, rather than flowers that would die a few days later. <br /><br />You are literally a constant voice in my head. As I subscribe to the podcast and listen with headphones daily, I want to thank you for cutting through the loud crap of declining morals and values in this world. You remind me how life is a choice. My life is in my control. You also remind me not blame my circumstance on others or past experiences! <br /><br />You truly are the women's liberating movement that I look towards. Thank you for reminding me to be my husband's sexy girlfriend and my boys' mom! <br /><br />Thank you, thank you, you buff mama jama! <br /><br />Much love, <br /><br />Alyson<br /><br /><br /><br />What did you get your mom for Mothers Day? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-05-12T17:58:00Z
The Reason We Call
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Reason-We-Call/-112678051602443415.html
2016-05-12T17:57:00Z
2016-05-12T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am a past caller, that called about my husband not being sure if his daughter from a previous marriage is his. I called because we wanted to do the right thing. His daughter was not aware of this development. My husband only "thinks" that she is not his blood child. <br /><br />Your response VERY clear, only only tell her of this, "if she's a bastard". <br /><br />I liked that! My husband was quite relieved to hear this too! We were more concerned about future medical issues than anything else. This did not seem to have an issue at all. We have decided to make this a dead issue. We are both happy about this as we do not want to hurt her in any way. <br /><br />He will continue to be the great dad that he is! Thank you for your time, and expertise! That is the reason that we, the listeners, call. <br /><br />Thank you, <br /><br />Greta<br /><br /><br /><br />Tell us about your mom by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-05-12T17:57:00Z
Stand-In Mommy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stand-In-Mommy/686477375260701316.html
2016-05-11T17:58:00Z
2016-05-11T17:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />Several years ago I called you regarding my parents and step parents. My mother and step dad were upset that I started talking to my "sperm donor" and his wife after several years of being told family lies. That day you changed my life. <br /><br />You asked me why my step dad and my mother were upset. At the time, I had no answer for you. You then told me to call my mother and ask her. Well, I did. Then I called you back immediately, as she had no answer. I will never forget what you told me that day...."<em>If you walked into a store and had to pick you mother out...would I pick her?</em>" I said <em>"No..."</em> You told me that I needed a mother to bake some blueberry muffins and love me no matter what.<br /><br />Jump forward a few years, my mother still hasn't talked to me. I just turned 43 a couple of days ago and she never bothered to call. <br /><br />I just wanted to drop you this email, and let you know how much I appreciate what you do, not only for me but for all of your callers. I listen to you every day and always ask myself what would Dr. Laura do? <br /><br />Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being you and for being a stand-in mother, not only for me, but for a lot of your callers. Your son is a very lucky guy.<br /><br />Thank You Again!!!<br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Sarah <br /><br /></p>
<p><br />Tell us about your mom by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-05-11T17:58:00Z
Forget-Me-Not
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Forget-Me-Not/-491492963352290867.html
2016-05-11T17:57:00Z
2016-05-11T17:57:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am the proud owner of your beautiful 'Spring Flowers' plate. I bought selfishly bought it for myself! It caught my eye immediately, as it reminds me of the Forget-Me-Nots that grow like weeds in my yard each spring. <br /><br />The Forget-Me-Not is not only my favorite flower, but also the Alaska State Flower. When I see this plate, I will be reminded to NEVER FORGET our brave military men and women who sacrifice so much for our freedom. May we be always be grateful and do whatever we can to help them and their precious families.<br /><br />Thank you for creating your boutique and for sharing your art with your listeners. I love knowing that 100% of my donation is going to our military families!! <br /><br />Warmly, <br /><br />Mary</p>
<p><br /><br />Do you have a loved one in the military? Send us an email and tell us what their sacrifice means to you by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-05-11T17:57:00Z
Jumping Through Hoops
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Jumping-Through-Hoops/603290570065867481.html
2016-05-10T17:58:00Z
2016-05-10T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Online dating worked for me and several friends for meeting our husbands because we are bold, no nonsense women. Here is what I did: <br /><br /><strong>I never posted my photo. </strong>I didn't want men contacting me. I saw a guy on the website that was NEW. Many of the guys just troll for hook-ups. If they have been there more than a year, I would never contact them. <br /><br /><strong>Give the guy a list of questions and expectations. </strong>If he doesn't have time to answer them well, he doesn't have time to be a boyfriend and future husband. Make the men jump through some hoops and DON'T PUT OUT quickly! <br /><br />Beginning questions:</p>
<ol>
<li>Do you want to get married in the future?</li>
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<li>Do you want kids?</li>
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<li>What religion were you brought up with and do you plan on attending church weekly, monthly, or for holidays? </li>
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<li>Why did you get divorced. What would your former wife say? </li>
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<li>What would you do if I told you I wouldn't have sex until we got married? </li>
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<li>If we got married, and I became a quadriplegic, what would you do? </li>
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<li>Are you a gladiator or a peace maker? </li>
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<li>How would you make sure I didn't get pregnant after we got married? </li>
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<li>Will you take an STD test and show me the results? </li>
</ol>
<p><br />My now husband answered all the questions. He had been married once before and ONLY had sex with his wife. He said he would wait. That was a big one for me. We chatted online for about 6 months before we met. He met my brother first, so my brother could find out if he was crazy. He then went one of to my sister's concerts and met the rest of my family. We met and waited until his daughter moved out at 19 years old. We then got married, and now we teach in China together. <br /><br />If one uses online dating as a tool to weed out the crazy people, it can really work. You have to be strong and not put up with crap. It's great because you can be specific in what you are looking for. Love you!<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you meet new people? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-05-10T17:58:00Z
He Chose YOU
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Chose-YOU/-472238347710895125.html
2016-05-10T17:57:00Z
2016-05-10T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hello Dr. Laura! <br /><br /><a href="https://www.facebook.com/prageru/videos/1065674056808783/?pnref=story" target="_blank">This video</a> popped up in my news feed today, and I thought you might enjoy it too. I reposted the video, adding in my own opinion: <br /><em> </em></p>
<blockquote><em>The first time my now husband noticed another girl when we were out together, he looked back at me really quick with a panicked look and said "Sorry!". My response was, "Why? She's gorgeous!"<br /></em></blockquote>
There will always be someone out there prettier than you, ladies! That does not make you any less attractive to your husband, <strong>he chose YOU</strong>! <br /><br />"Why Go Out For Hamburgers When I Have Steak At Home?" - Paul Newman on adultery<br /><br /><em><br /><br /></em>Have you found a news story that reminds you of Dr. Laura? Share it with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
Staff
2016-05-10T17:57:00Z
Teens, Social Media and Smart Phones
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teens,-Social-Media-and-Smart-Phones/-196562354526549162.html
2016-05-09T17:58:00Z
2016-05-09T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just wanted to share you a program I listened to yesterday. It was a one hour broadcast by entitled "<em><a href="http://cnnpressroom.blogs.cnn.com/2015/09/10/cnns-anderson-cooper-360-breaks-news-about-teens-and-social-media-in-provocative-two-year-long-investigation/" target="_blank">#Being Thirteen, The Secret Life of Teenagers</a></em>". Wow! It was shocking to hear the kind of things these kids were saying about other kids and themselves. It was also surprising to learn that the use of smart phones and having access to social media is like a drug to these children. <br /><br />The parents were asked to take away their child's smart phones and deny them access to social media. Some of the kids started crying and some became extremely depressed. Other parents were simply unable to take these things away from their kids. The program gave parents recommendations on what they could do to be more involved in their kids' lives. I know that for years you have said the children should not have smart phones and social media accounts, and I agree with you. Once they are adults and able to support themselves then they can do whatever they want. <br /><br />I have a six-year-old niece who on several occasions has approached me saying how much she wants her own phone. I tell her "No" and that when she has graduated college she can have one then. <br /><br />Thank you Sincerely, <br /><br />Pat<br /><br /><br /><br />Does your child carry a cell phone? Tell us your house rules, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-05-09T17:58:00Z
I Needed to Find My Way
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Needed-to-Find-My-Way/-471682109589688574.html
2016-05-09T17:57:00Z
2016-05-09T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I wanted to thank you for recently talking about how time does not heal. I went through this when my folks passed away and I thought there was something wrong with me. People would tell me that as time goes by it will get better, but it didn't. I finally realized that I needed to find a way to live without my parents.<br /><br />They have been gone for a while now and, at times, it still stings like it just happened yesterday. Hearing you talk about how time does not heal helped me a great deal. A lot of people care about you and are grateful for all you do, including me. <br /><br />Thanks again, <br /><br />Lorie<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a mental wound that just won' t heal? Tell us about it, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-05-09T17:57:00Z
The Horrors of Online Dating
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Horrors-of-Online-Dating/-608915424632197055.html
2016-05-06T17:58:00Z
2016-05-06T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I found on line dating to be depressing and certainly not fulfilling. At least in the "<em>real</em>" world you can be rejected by one person at a time. Online it you can be rejected by 10, 20 people in one day or week. <br /><br />After a while one gets tired of repeating the same information over and over. So many times the other party is deceptive. And even on Christian sites, some men are just <em><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_troll" target="_blank">trolling</a></em>. They are not genuinely interested in a long term relationship; only a sexual encounter. <br /><br />Meeting someone through friends, family or work gives you a chance to have face-to-face contact for real first impression. Not typed hype. I have only known one couple who met and married. I know more horror stories personal and from others. So, I do not recommend on line dating. It's impersonal and you just don't know who is on the other side of the of the computer screen.<br /><br /><br /><br />What do YOU think of online dating? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-05-06T17:58:00Z
Dear Mother Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dear-Mother-Laura/680319841947320179.html
2016-05-06T17:57:00Z
2016-05-06T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dear "Mother Laura", <br /><br />My day will not be complete until I write to you. I wish you all the best on Mother's Day and all year long. <br /><br />Ever since I started listening to you a little over three years ago, I immediately adopted you as my "Mom" - the one I wished I always had. The one with the wisdom and smarts to teach me about life. You filled in all the missing pieces that I needed to learn in order to put together my puzzle of life. <br /><br />I am making way better decisions these days and it's helping me get my life in the right direction. So thank you from the bottom of my heart for being "my Mom"! You make the world a better place! God bless you. <br /><br />Take care. <br /><br />Love, <br /><br />Chris<br /><br /><br /></p>
<p><br /><br />What have you learned from Dr. Laura? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-05-06T17:57:00Z
Laughs, Tears & Knowledge
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Laughs,-Tears--Knowledge/88862607832341093.html
2016-05-05T17:58:00Z
2016-05-05T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I came across your show on AM radio in the mid '90's. I've been a listener for many years since then, most recently becoming a podcast enthusiast. Even when I am current, I can go back to the available history and enjoy each show all over again. Hearing some calls for the first time, enjoying those I had missed or forgotten, and reminiscing over those that stuck with me. <br /><br />I want to thank you for all the laughs, tears, and knowledge I gained over the 20+ years. I can't express how important you have been to me. I'm a better person, friend and wife because of you. Know that for every personal thank you that you receive, there must be hundreds or thousands represented by each that you don't hear from. While I know that having a legacy such as yours brought its own difficulties, stresses and strife, how blessed you must be. <br /><br />I won't make the impact you have on the world, but I'll continue striving to make you proud. Walking and sometimes skipping quietly through life, trying to do the right thing. Much thanks. <br /><br />Your fan, <br /><br />Yvette</p>
<p><br /><br />What have you learned from Dr. Laura? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-05-05T17:58:00Z
My 'Shopping Buddy'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Shopping-Buddy/224413619008622974.html
2016-05-05T17:57:00Z
2016-05-05T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I just heard a caller tell how her preschooler commented that she wasn't a stay-at-home mom because she worked as a nurse. This prompted me to recall when my youngest son was that age and made a similar comment. <br /><br />He had overheard me extol the joys of being a stay-at-home mom, and as we were walking away, he said:</p>
<blockquote><em>"You're not a stay-at-home mom. We go to the grocery store, to the library . . ."<br /> </em></blockquote>
The comment made me laugh then and has made me smile many times over the years. I named him "my shopping buddy". Tomorrow my husband and I will travel to see "my shopping buddy" graduate from college. <br /><br />I couldn't be prouder to be <em>my kid's mom!</em> Love you and love your show! Keep up the good work! <br /><br />Susan
Staff
2016-05-05T17:57:00Z
Choosing Wisely
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Choosing-Wisely/-215665234993289429.html
2016-05-03T17:58:00Z
2016-05-03T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I saw this picture on social media and had to share. It's a great example of choosing wisely. <br /><br />After losing her pinky in an accident, this woman was talking about painting her nails. Realizing that she was 1 digit short, she began reminiscing on how she misses painting ALL her nails. <br /><br />Her husband's response floored me.What a loving amazing man to think of something like that to support his wife. <br /><br />Thanks for all the work that you do Dr. Laura. <br /><br />Carmen </p>
<p><img src="/images/blog/Slide1.JPG" alt="" /><br /><br /><br /><br />Did you choose wisely? Tell us why you think so, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-05-03T17:58:00Z
Not Sure What Hurts Most?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Not-Sure-What-Hurts-Most/219490863972136435.html
2016-05-03T17:57:00Z
2016-05-03T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My daughter, a typical annoying and dramatic teenager, asks me: "<em>Mom, I need your help. I am writing an essay about the women 100 years ago vs. women today, and I cannot find the right words here</em>." <br /><br />She then quotes from her essay: <em> </em></p>
<blockquote><em>"... a hundred years ago women were taught to stay home and raise their children and care for their husbands, but today women ESCAPED this lifestyle and have become___________ ."</em></blockquote>
<br />"Mom, can you please help me fill in the blank, mom? Mom?", she continued to plead with me. I cringed, then forced a smile. "Sure, dear. Here's what I would fill in the blank with: <em>"...but today women DETEST this lifestyle and have become ATROCIOUS FEMINIST PIGS"</em>. <br /><br />My daughter's eyeballs popped out in disbelief and she storms out of the room. As she yelled, <em>"I am wasting my time asking you for help! All you do is to mock my essay!"</em> <br /><br />I do not know what hurts me most here? My daughter's stance, attitude, not processing the words I filled her blanks with....or the influence that the society has over my daughter's education, beliefs and possibly, her future.<br /><br /> I closed my eyes to stop my tears and returned to my pot, stirring the pasta sauce with frustration and tears I couldn't hold. I smiled thinking that the sauce will be very salty. I love you for everything you are and do, my dear out of this world Lady Friend! <br /><br />Very tight hugs, <br /><br />Alex <br /><br />P.S. "If you wanna make the world a better place Take a look at yourself, and then make a change" - MJ<br /><br /><br /><br />What do you think of the influence that society has on this generation of children? Share your thoughts with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
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Staff
2016-05-03T17:57:00Z
Sex Too Soon
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sex-Too-Soon/947798734447414483.html
2016-05-02T17:58:00Z
2016-05-02T17:58:00Z
<p><br />A girl having sex with a guy within just a few days of meeting him is like a guy showering a girl with expensive, luxurious gifts within just a few days of meeting her. <br /><br />If not looking for a meaningful relationship, the recipient will happily take advantage of the scenario. However, if looking for something meaningful, the recipient views the giver as desperate. <br /><br />It's a fact of human nature that applies to all genders of all ages: <strong>Something doesn't hold much value, unless it's earned. </strong><br /><br />Guys, take the time to really get to know a girl before you start taking her out on really expensive dates and trips. Girls, take the time to really get to know a guy before you give him the most valuable gift of all - YOU!</p>
<p><br /><br />What is your opinion on sex and abstinence? Share it with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-05-02T17:58:00Z
A Brief THANK YOU
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Brief-THANK-YOU/638141590626800875.html
2016-05-02T17:57:00Z
2016-05-02T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I have been a family physician MD for over forty years. My wife and I have listened to you for quite some time. <br /><br />Your comments, advice and opinions....have, and continue to, appropriately address psychosocial issues facing many of my patients. There seems to be a progressive lack of taking responsibility for one's actions, including health issues. <br /><br />Just wanted to send you a brief THANK YOU...as many of your comments serve a "therapy" to those of us attempting to deal with patients with medical and societal ills. <br /><br />Ken<br /><br /><br /><br />Has listening to the show helped you in some way? Share your story with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-05-02T17:57:00Z
Timeless Advice from Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Timeless-Advice-from-Mom/726557609250894348.html
2016-04-29T17:58:00Z
2016-04-29T17:58:00Z
<p> </p>
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<p>The best advice my mother ever gave me was: <br /><br /></p>
<blockquote><em>"Do not ever write down anything that you would not want the whole world to read."</em></blockquote>
<em> </em><br />I have followed that advice my whole life and it has saved me many a time! That and the reverse: <br />
<blockquote><em>"Never believe everything you read." </em></blockquote>
<br />These days, you must be careful with everything; not only with your words but also with what you choose to believe. <br /><br />
<p><br />Do you have a piece of advice that your parents gave to you, that you STILL stick to? Share it with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-29T17:58:00Z
Wife Discount!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Wife-Discount!/114246412347925113.html
2016-04-29T17:57:00Z
2016-04-29T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My husband just sent me this photo. He would get a huge discount on his meal, thanks to you. I'm both his girlfriend AND his wife!<br /><br /> You have truly helped me become a great wife and have a happy marriage. This May will be our 22nd wedding anniversary. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. <br /><br />Sending you BIG HUGS!<br /><br />Karen<br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/Screenshot_2016-05-01-10-28-39-1.jpg" alt="" /><br /><br /><br /><br />See anything that made you smile lately? Share it with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-29T17:57:00Z
Musical Mothers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Musical-Mothers/-2599806880561101.html
2016-04-28T17:58:00Z
2016-04-28T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My Mom died when I was five. My Dad then remarried, only ten months after, 'to give us kids a mom'. Wife #2 only lasted about 18 months. There were plenty of other girlfriends and 'almost moms'. Like you say, 'Kids don't <em>get</em> dating, they get attached'. We all suffered from varying degrees of attachment disorder due to our musical mothers. They were all nice to us. It was easy to get attached, only to be ripped from our lives a few years later. <br /><br />My Father had since cleaned up his act and I have forgiven him, but that doesn't change all the damage that was done. I want to thank you for helping me get some proper grounding on values, you've really made a difference in my life.<br /><br /><br /><br />How has your childhood had an impact on you today? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-28T17:58:00Z
Letting Go
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Letting-Go/-532671876881541214.html
2016-04-28T17:57:00Z
2016-04-28T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Fond Greetings Dr. Laura: <br /><br />This is just a note to let you know that I am still listening to your program. You continue be an extraordinary moral beacon. <br /><br />Letting go of past hurt is so very, very important. Being able to do that is one of the reasons why I have been blessed and fortunate to live a very rewarding life. One of the biggest mistakes that folks make is to think that letting go of a past hurt constitutes a form of weakness; or even a form of cowardice. The truth of the matter is that letting go of a past hurt can be a form of profound moral courage. A way of saying that evil will not touch one's soul. <br /><br />Thank You, Dr. Laura, for the depth of your wisdom and insight. All the best to you and your family. <br /><br />Lance<br /><br /></p>
How do you move forward from past hurt? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
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Staff
2016-04-28T17:57:00Z
Keys to a Successful Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keys-to-a-Successful-Marriage/310289092745266475.html
2016-04-27T17:58:00Z
2016-04-27T17:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My husband and I have been married almost 30 years and we both feel as if we have been married 30 days. Our secret to our success is that we have never stopped FLIRTING with each other. <br /><br />We flirt and tease each other almost daily. We start each day with some fun little twist on our words. Something that only we can understand, or an intimate touch, or a naughty look, planting seeds for later in the day. We always end our days with "I love you." But we never stop flirting. <br /><br />When women flirt with their men, it makes them feel desirable and loved. Having sex with my man does <em>not fall</em> somewhere beneath washing dishes and folding laundry on my list of household duties. He knows that he is my priority and I am his. Flirting is an art. We should never let it go. And it's lots of fun. So have fun with your man and make him feel hot, lovable and desired. And he will do the same for you.<br /><br /><br /></p>
What are your keys to a successful marriage? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
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Staff
2016-04-27T17:58:00Z
Tough Decision Are Easier with Help
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Tough-Decision-Are-Easier-with-Help/-466103384846860702.html
2016-04-27T17:57:00Z
2016-04-27T17:57:00Z
<p><br />My life today is much different than my childhood. In a couple of days, I will have been married 20 years to a wonderful man, who adores me and his daughter. I had a good career until we decided I would stay home and teach our child. Our daughter is creative and wise beyond her years. We live a comfortable life of gratitude. I have always said I am the type of person to learn from other people's mistakes and I make enough of my own too! <br /><br />I started listening to your program when I was a 22-year-old MRI Tech in training, back in 1996! Thank you so much for what you do and the person you are! You advice has helped me make tough decisions and also remind me that I had made the right ones when life gets tough. It has been tough, life isn't easy for anyone. We have to use common sense, have gratitude, and teach others from our example. Thank you, my friend, for teaching me that!<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you turned around your life? Send us an email and tell us your story, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-27T17:57:00Z
Who Would Want to Live with That Attitude?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Who-Would-Want-to-Live-with-That-Attitude/386626821012346151.html
2016-04-26T17:58:00Z
2016-04-26T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />What an eye opener it was to read <a href="/b/Sharing-Thoughts-on-Strengthening-Family/-478525218782928225.html" target="_blank">this letter</a> from the sisters who <span>wrote the post "</span><em><a href="http://eighteen25.com/2016/03/10-simple-ways-to-show-your-husband-you-love-him/" target="_blank">10 Simple Ways to Show Your Husband You Love Him</a></em><span>"</span>. After reading their letter, I took the time to read the responses to their blog. WOW! I know you hate to hear about "Feelings", but I have two things I feel from the responses by some of the women. </p>
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<li>First, I am soooooo blessed to have my wife as my partner. I thank God every day for having my path cross hers; to be able to spend my life with her and be treated with love and caring. </li>
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<li>Second, I feel sorry for the women who bashed the writers of the blog. They must be living the most lonely and unloved lives. Their attitude they will be forever locked in a prison of rejection. Who would want to live with that attitude?</li>
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<p>Keep up your good work, <br /><br />Mike<br /><br /><br /><br />What kind of attitude makes you want to come home every day? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-26T17:58:00Z
Setting My Limits
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Setting-My-Limits/676367170505458387.html
2016-04-26T17:57:00Z
2016-04-26T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was thinking about your question of growth the other day. For myself, this year, growth is setting limits. It's very powerful and takes off so much emotional weight! <br /><br />I can see more clearly now. It has allowed me room to grow, get-to-know myself, and even fall in love with who I am. This has made me so much stronger. Thank you Dr. Laura for being such a great teacher of living life to the fullest and helping me get there one day at a time. YOU are incredible. <br /><br />Much appreciation for YOU,<br /><br />Alex<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you set your personal limits? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-26T17:57:00Z
Whatever Comes, I CAN Face It
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Whatever-Comes,-I-CAN-Face-It/-180210945279056277.html
2016-04-25T17:58:00Z
2016-04-25T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Many days start and end with me wishing, thinking and hoping that the pressures, stresses, demands and worries, fatigue and strains will just GO AWAY!<br /><br />Then, I sleep. I get up again, knowing that whatever comes I CAN AND WILL just face it and go on. That's what you do and LIFE sometimes just sucks for me, for everyone. I acknowledge that every single person I know has trials. Many, if not most, are far worse than mine. <br /><br />So, I just suck it up and thank God for the many many blessings in my life. I know that today might FEEL hard but it will get better. So I face another day, another week and just try and go with the flow.<br /><br />Jenn<br /><br /><br /></p>
<br />How do you find the inner courage to get through the tough days? Send us an email and tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
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Staff
2016-04-25T17:58:00Z
Seeing the Light at the End of the Tunnel
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Seeing-the-Light-at-the-End-of-the-Tunnel/-295732938104320781.html
2016-04-25T17:57:00Z
2016-04-25T17:57:00Z
<p><br />My husband was a wonderful supporter of mine. He suggested I work at a thrift store about 20 years ago. They were short a worker the day I applied, so I went right to work. They had me hanging clothes, straightening shoes and helping customers. They hired me at the end of the day! <br /><br />Six months later, I was co-manager of the store. I didn't displace anyone, I just followed my natural instincts. I was made manager of a new store soon and took my best workers with me. I did not stay with the company. Sadly it didn't work out, as my husband became ill. I still see what my husband saw in me...HE saw potential...<br /><br />If I could get that across in computer application, that would be great! I have struggled with this my whole life. The dialogue going on in my head is usually not too good. I always find myself thinking about how I really don't want to tackle the task. However, it usually goes well when I am proactive about these situations. I then welcome it as a learning experience for the next time I encounter that situation.<br /><br />Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel is always effective. I look ahead to more pleasant and fun events after dealing with what I thought was scary or unpleasant. <br /><br /><br /></p>
<br />Do you think that parents take too much part in their children's school projects? Send us an email and tell us your thoughts, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
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Staff
2016-04-25T17:57:00Z
'Blue Ribbon' Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Blue-Ribbon-Kids/-657898727653053255.html
2016-04-22T17:58:00Z
2016-04-22T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Your show today struck a chord with me. Both my boys attended a private Catholic School. Back when my sons attended class, every year, their school held a science fair and participation was mandatory. <br /><br />I made my kids plan, prepare and execute their own science fair projects. Then the school would hold a big event with the projects on display. The children would stand there and explain the project, while showing off their ribbon. It was all good, EXCEPT, my children's projects were obviously done by children. The other 90% of projects, were obviously, done by adults. The other projects were professionally displayed and were very impressive. It was amazing that the judges didn't discriminate their awards by who did the project. <br /><br />It was a bit disheartening. Now, 15 years later, my boys are the successes and some of those other blue ribbon children are struggling with their lives. Keep up the good work. <br /><br />Sarah<br /><br /><br /></p>
<br />Do you think that parents take too much part in their children's school projects? Send us an email and tell us your thoughts, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
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Staff
2016-04-22T17:58:00Z
Fitness Tips From Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fitness-Tips-From-Dr.-Laura/-135800965759123729.html
2016-04-22T17:57:00Z
2016-04-22T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Lately, I have noted a number of people calling who need to be 'motivated' to exercise and ask your advice. I have listened to you for years and have two favorite pieces of advice regarding this subject. <br /><br /></p>
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<li><strong>First:</strong> <em>"Move more, eat less." </em>Simple, to the point and right just like you.</li>
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<li><strong>Second:</strong> (and my favorite), <em>"Keep telling yourself, 'I don't want to do this' as you put your shirt on; 'I really don't want to do this' as your put on your shorts; 'I don't, don't want to do this' as you put on your shoes. Before you know it, you'll be out the door, moving!"</em> I do this a lot and it works wonders. </li>
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<p><br />Your podcast keeps me company on my almost daily walks. I go from 3.5 to 6 miles at a time and you make it really enjoyable. You also accompany me when I'm pulling weeds and it's amazing how much I get done without realizing that I'm working. <br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura!<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have any fitness tips you'd like to share? Send us an email, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-22T17:57:00Z
Her Heart Began to Beat Again
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Her-Heart-Began-to-Beat-Again/-492393872216675146.html
2016-04-21T17:58:00Z
2016-04-21T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />After hearing your thoughts regarding time not healing all wounds, I thought you would really appreciate the song lyrics below. The story behind the song is also amazing. <br /><br />Here's the story behind the song, explained by Gokey:</p>
<blockquote>"There was a pastor in Ohio who had a heart surgeon who went to his church. One of the things that this pastor wanted to do was see a heart surgery take place. When the day of the surgery came, they rolled the patient in and began to cut her chest cavity open. They took her heart out and they began to repair it. One of the things that they do is they have to restart the heart before they close the chest cavity. And when they began the procedures to start the heart, the heart wouldn't start. "Finally, the doctor did something so out of textbook and not written down. It was something you really don't do. He knelt down on his knees and said, 'Mrs. Johnson, this is your doctor. We have fixed your heart. We have repaired it. There is nothing wrong with your heart. Mrs. Johnson if you can hear me, I need you to tell your heart to beat again.' And her heart began to beat again." <br /><br /><br /> <strong>Tell Your Heart To Beat Again</strong><br /><strong>by Danny Gokey</strong><em><br /><br /> You're shattered</em><br /><em>Like you've never been before</em><br /><em>The life you knew</em><br /><em>In a thousand pieces on the floor</em><br /><em>And words fall short in times like these</em><br /><em>When this world drives you to your knees</em><br /><em>You think you're never gonna get back</em><br /><em>To the you that used to be</em><br /><br /><em>Tell your heart to beat again</em><br /><em>Close your eyes and breathe it in</em><br /><em>Let the shadows fall away</em><br /><em>Step into the light of grace</em><br /><em>Yesterday's a closing door</em><br /><em>You don't live there anymore</em><br /><em>Say goodbye to where you've been</em><br /><em>And tell your heart to beat again</em></blockquote>
<br /><br />Do you have a favorite song you'd like to share? Send us an email, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
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Staff
2016-04-21T17:58:00Z
Seeing Through a New Pair of Eyes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Seeing-Through-a-New-Pair-of-Eyes/291954031702489870.html
2016-04-21T17:57:00Z
2016-04-21T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have listened to your program for many years. I struggled with alcohol abuse and got sober in 2011. I honestly can say, when I listened to your program I thought you were hard on addicts and alcoholics. I would often get upset and mad. I would think, "Dr. Laura does not know anything about addiction". I even stopped listening to your program for a while. <br /><br />I did return to your program, because I just really enjoy listening to you. I was actively listening to your program when I relapsed. During my relapse, I began to see what you meant about people with addiction. I was very wrong about you; you DO know everything about addiction. WE, addicts and alcoholics, can't be completely trusted. It is unlikely we stay sober. Relapse is a big issue for people suffering from addiction. It is more likely we will relapse than stay sober, which is unfortunate for our families and the suffering addict. <br /><br />Your program has helped me see through the eyes of families with mothers, fathers, daughters, and sons actively using alcohol and drugs. The impact and destruction we addicts and alcoholics cause our families is undeniably harmful to everyone around us. I really do not hear the addict or alcoholic calling your program for help, only the loving family members stuck trying to fix the addict. In reality, unless the addict wants the help, it will never happen. Sometimes, even if the addict wants it, it is very hard to achieve sobriety. <br /><br />Listening to your program has helped me fight for sobriety. I do not want my daughter or son calling your program, because I am destroying their lives! It has helped me see through the eyes of the suffering family of an alcoholic or addict. <br /><br />I'm go to AA every day, sometimes several times a day. I have immersed myself in the program of recovery because I no longer want to harm my family and myself. I appreciate all your knowledge and the work you do for others. <br /><br />Thanks Dr. Laura, you are an amazing woman. <br /><br />Ken<br /><br /><br /><br />Are you facing a difficult battle with addiction or abuse? Tell us how you're fighting, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-21T17:57:00Z
The Joy of a Goal Reached Together
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Joy-of-a-Goal-Reached-Together/-882049418119662167.html
2016-04-20T17:58:00Z
2016-04-20T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I was listening yesterday to the caller who was married for 2 yrs to a medical student and was unhappy. My husband and I met riding the school bus in 8th grade. We will celebrate our 43rd wedding anniversary next month. I always knew my husband had a goal of becoming a doctor, just like his dad. We dated through high school and college. We were married the weekend between college graduation and the start of medical school. I taught elementary school while my husband attended school. Of course, there were tough times but we persevered. We kept our sight on the completion of OUR goal and we celebrated the accomplishment.<br /><br />Of course, his internship, residency and Cardiology fellowship followed. This was made easier by the fact that he joined the Navy. We got to travel to several states with the Navy. The kids had a great experience, too. I stayed home while the kids were young and they are now successful parents and spouses with children of their own. <br /><br />Your reader is missing out on the joy of a goal reached together - with love. <br /><br /><br /><br />Have you met a goal with your spouse? Tell us about it, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-20T17:58:00Z
Sharing Thoughts on Strengthening Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sharing-Thoughts-on-Strengthening-Family/-478525218782928225.html
2016-04-20T17:57:00Z
2016-04-20T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My sister and I blog. Most of our posts are about crafts, free printables, gift ideas and DIY projects. Recently, we have wanted to share some thoughts on strengthening the family. So, I wrote a post on "<a href="http://eighteen25.com/2016/03/10-simple-ways-to-show-your-husband-you-love-him/" target="_blank">10 Simple Ways to Show Your Husband You Love Him</a>". Wow! Who would've known it was such a controversial topic? <br /><br />It makes me so sad that women think "serving" their husband makes them "brainwashed" , rather than a loving wife thinking of the needs of her husband. I found the comments to be very eye opening. Thank you for supporting marriage and loving your husband!<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you show your husband you care? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-20T17:57:00Z
The Dynamics of Men and Women
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Dynamics-of-Men-and-Women/-178777997901189982.html
2016-04-19T17:58:00Z
2016-04-19T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hello, <br /><br />Dr. Laura I am a 21-year-old young man and was directed to read one of your books. The "<em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>", then proceed to give it to my significant other. I have done so and apparently she is a fan of yours I did not know! <br /><br />I just wanted to say thank you on behalf of a lot of men who are in relationships and marriages. This book helps explain and put into words what most of us cannot do or detail to our spouses. Specifically the emotions we hold back most of the times. The book also made me realize that we as humans always assume we do not have enough time. When we lie to ourselves enough we eventually believe. <br /><br />Your book has really helped me understand the dynamic of how women think and how we should be as men. Thank you for bringing forth a great book and I look forward to reading all of the others!<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a favorite book from Dr. Laura? Tell us which one and how it helped, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-19T17:58:00Z
I HAD Done My Job
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-HAD-Done-My-Job/-904746393347239992.html
2016-04-19T17:57:00Z
2016-04-19T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I had to comment on the call from the mother that compared her son going to college to him dying. My advice to her - be happy he is going to college. When I left my oldest in the parking lot 1400 miles from home he asked us to go. When he hugged me goodbye, he said:</p>
<blockquote><strong><em>"Thanks for everything Mom, you've done a great job. I love you."</em></strong></blockquote>
After driving a while, my husband was shocked that I hadn't fallen apart. I explained to him what this day meant. That I HAD done my job as a parent! That if he had said, "Take me home, I don't think I can handle this." then I would be upset. My son flew home for every break, holiday and summer, rather than go off and party with friends. He told me he wanted to stay in touch with his 2 younger brothers, because they were changing and growing up fast. We never told him this was a financial burden for us, even though it was so very was worth it. <br /><br />Three years later, our middle son left home on his bike and never came home again. I can assure that woman, it was NOTHING like our college drop off experience with our older son. I won't expound on what this did to our family, the pain and loss are too profound for words. I will grieve every day for the rest of my life. <br /><br />Holidays now mean a trip to the Cemetery - not the airport. There is only 1 positive from this tragedy - I have NO REGRETS! I stayed home and spent every day teaching, nurturing & loving my boys, like ONLY A MOMMY can! I use my story to encourage pregnant, and Mom's with little ones, to stay home and raise their own children. Otherwise, I am a private person, but this is too important to be quiet about. <br /><br />Keep fighting for the kids. <br /><br />Deb<br /><br /><br />Did you hear a call that hit you hard? Tell us you thoughts, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
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Staff
2016-04-19T17:57:00Z
Hearing the Truth
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hearing-the-Truth/-721309451580825179.html
2016-04-18T17:58:00Z
2016-04-18T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am emailing you regarding the subject of grief. Thank you for stating the truth on your show that "time does not heal". You are the only one I have heard or read who have told the truth about that. <br /><br />Grief experts say that it takes 1 year to heal for every 5 years that you are married. For me that would have been 7 years to come out of my sad state. I did feel better after 7 years, but it has been 12 now and I still suffer at many levels. I don't dwell on the loss though because that does no good, I focus on living. But it helps to hear the truth from someone like you who we all respect. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Jessica<br /><br /><br /><br />Was there a comment from Dr. Laura that hit home with you? Tell us which one moved you, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-18T17:58:00Z
I Fell Apart, Then Found My Strength
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Fell-Apart,-Then-Found-My-Strength/-674258298123848827.html
2016-04-18T17:57:00Z
2016-04-18T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I was married for 32 years. My children later discovered from my children that my husband had been living a secret life for ten years. He had been having an affair, among doing other horrible things. I quickly filed for divorce and soon got him out of the house. My life was shattered. We were expecting our first grandchild and instead of having golden years, I was facing starting a life all over. I lost my home and had to move thus finding a new job. <br /><br />We do not speak and my children have nothing to do with him. It was the worst kind of betrayal. I was crushed. I fell apart and then got stronger. I realized he took my past but he was not going to take my future. I went out and met some wonderful friends. One of them became my husband. He treats me as a princess. We have been married three years now. Every day he gives me a kiss and tells me how he loved me. He is a father figure for my children and doting grandfather to my grandchildren. <br /><br />You mentioned something about a man leaving a woman was her closure. I realized I had mine when he did what he did years ago. This helped me to leave the hurt behind. If you are honest with what you want in life and talk things true dreams can come true. Thank you for helping me realize the past is the past and I have had my closure. My now husband is a keeper and I will do my best to follow your book,"<a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.</a>" Thank you so much. <br /><br /><br /><br />Have ever had to find your path again after a betrayal? Share your story, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-18T17:57:00Z
Long Past Due
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Long-Past-Due/992252389360985603.html
2016-04-15T17:58:00Z
2016-04-15T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I had been friends with my '<em>best friend</em>' since junior high school. She was always a mess. I am not sure what drew me to her, but, we stayed close for years. As we had our own children, I loved her children like I loved my own (even though she showed no interest in mine). <br /><br />As the years progressed, my friend abused our friendship. I had grown to love her children and decided not to rock the boat, as I knew she would NEVER let the children see me if I did. I knew they needed our family for stability. Since their mother was often absent we were helping raise them. Finally, after listening to you for years I reached my limits. I told her that our friendship was over. <br /><br />It was long past the time to have done this. As her children were grown and out of the house being her friend had just become a bad habit! Thank you for the wisdom you share. I am so grateful AND so relieved to have this woman out of my life. She can no longer continue to hurt me and I no longer have to experience the pain of pretending that we are friends! Again, thank you for all you do to help us look at life in a realistic way!<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a 'friend' that isn't so friendly? Did you continue the friendship? Tell us why, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-15T17:58:00Z
Children Deserve the Love of Their Mommy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Children-Deserve-the-Love-of-Their-Mommy/528690318664149679.html
2016-04-15T17:57:00Z
2016-04-15T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Your advice on Friday to the caller who felt abandoned by women was earth-shakingly profound. I sat there in the car, in my driveway, with my mouth open. That is why you are so damn good at what you do!<br /><br />You are able to differentiate between those who are good people and need your support; as well as those who are superficial and need to receive an ironic answer. I hope that the caller from Friday heeds your advice. I wish I lived near him, just to a give him a hug when he needs it. Life can be so hard. <br /><br />ALL children become more curious about their biological parents when they grow older. Clearly, this young man is decent and is worthy of receiving love. I hope he receives it. I also hope that he finds a lovely woman who is trustworthy and can give him what he deeply needs: namely, the love that his mother withheld that he richly deserves.<br /><br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />A devoted listener<br /><br /><br />Have you heard a call that touched you? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-15T17:57:00Z
Mommies in Cube Land
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mommies-in-Cube-Land/-306067122152486098.html
2016-04-14T17:58:00Z
2016-04-14T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I work for a large company where our offices are simply partitions. It is impossible not to overhear conversations. One recent conversation left me with a broken heart. <br /><br />I heard the receiver slam down in a cube near me. The woman in the cube let out a sound of exasperation. I realized that she was upset because it was her daycare on the phone call. They called to tell her that her baby had severe diarrhea. She said, "I can't believe they are calling me. What am I supposed to do about it?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Then she laughed and said, "All I can say is, I am glad it's them dealing with that and not me!" <br /><br />Oh my gosh. I guess we wouldn't want to inconvenience mom! My heart was breaking. I was so mad at that mom, I almost bit my tongue in half. I can just imagine that poor baby with a terrible tummy ache, yearning for someone to comfort him. Will anyone be okay with that <em>inconvenience</em>? Anyone?? Thank you for allowing me to vent!<br /><br />Signed, <br /><br />The Woman in the next cubical<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you know moms that work full time? How do you deal with the clash of friendship and parenting style? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-14T17:58:00Z
Everyone's Pain is Important
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Everyones-Pain-is-Important/861974629118182356.html
2016-04-14T17:57:00Z
2016-04-14T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Your response was so terrific other day, to the caller the who had a special needs child. She was having difficulty not getting angry with the small and petty problems of her friends. <br /><br />I too had a special needs child - a son with schizophrenia who then was killed in a car accident. It was hard for my friends to be <em>real</em> with me. They would always catch themselves and say, "Oh that is nothing compared to what you've been through." <br /><br />What I learned was that everyone's pain is important to them. Their expressed pain did not add to mine. In fact, because I had shared my pain with them they felt more able to share with me. Thanks so much for all you do. I've been a faithful listener for many years.<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you had a recent revelation? Share it with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-14T17:57:00Z
Time is Not an Elixir for Pain
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Time-is-Not-an-Elixir-for-Pain/624872670817912019.html
2016-04-13T17:58:00Z
2016-04-13T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Thank you so much for your <a href="/programhighlights?date=20160412" target="_blank">opening comments of April 12, 2016</a>, regarding time healing wounds. My wife of 34 years died of bone, brain and liver cancer after a two year battle. I saw the woman I love go through an excruciating mental, physical and spiritual ordeal which is hard to describe unless you have gone through it. I thought for the longest time that something was wrong with me because the after effects of that traumatic two year period continued to linger. Friends and family repeatedly told me, "things will get better over time." However, they are wrong and you are right.<br /><br />Time is not an elixir for the pain of losing her. For me the mourning I have experienced is a lonely and exhausting ordeal in its own right which time itself does not heal. I am a lawyer who has been successful and confident, <em>naturally resilient</em>, as you say. But I have not bounced back and was truly wondering what might be wrong with me. <br /><br />Your words really struck home. Thank you for reminding me that mental strength must be developed. I get up every day and even though I feel like just crawling into a hole. I put one foot in front of the other and remind myself of the many good things in my life. <strong>Seize the day! </strong><br /><br />Your friend and listener,<br /><br />Kevin<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you seize the day? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-13T17:58:00Z
The Perspective You Provide
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Perspective-You-Provide/524683939876598622.html
2016-04-13T17:57:00Z
2016-04-13T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />The other day I was staring at my bookshelf and noticed your book that I had purchased many years ago, "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Stupid-Things-Mess-Their-Lives/dp/0060929448" target="_blank">10 Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives</a>". <br /><br />I remembered letting my stepson read the book. He really enjoyed and wished he had read it before his disastrous first marriage. After remembering this, I immediately gave the book to my 17-year-old son. Last night he read the introduction and loved it. He's genuinely looking forward to reading the rest of the book. <br /><br />I appreciate the perspective that you provide! I hope that eventually our civilization will return to a better moral and ethical compass. I just wanted to thank you for all you do and hope all is well for you and your son. <br /><br />Tom<br /><br /><br /><br />Are there any books that have helped your family? Tell us which ones worked for you, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-13T17:57:00Z
Changing My Thinking AND Attitude
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-My-Thinking-AND-Attitude/256433776403538943.html
2016-04-12T17:58:00Z
2016-04-12T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I wanted to share how a piece of advice that I have gleaned from listening to your show has changed my perspective; then my attitude. My husband and I are about to celebrate 25 years of marriage. <br /><br />The first few years seemed bad due to his undiagnosed mental health problems. Problems continued, due to his unwillingness to stay on his medication. Our unaddressed emotional brokenness added huge amounts of stress to the situation as well. We spent the next several years working on ourselves, so we could rebuild our marriage. We worked hard and things got much better. Unfortunately, I continued to struggle with the past. <br /><br />One day, I was listening to the show and I heard you explain a concept about illness and relationships. How in relationships and illness (physical or mental), the one who is sick gets better and the other person has to come to terms with losing the sense of superiority over the now healthy person. It was like a thunder bolt. I was still thinking of myself as superior to my husband! I was actually aggravated that he was a healthy, functioning, considerate partner. Boy, was that the moment I realized I had to crawl down off my self-seated throne to <strong>be my husband's fully engaged and equal partner</strong>. <br /><br />Thank you for the words of wisdom! <br /><br />Jessica<br /><br /><br /><br />What pieces of advise do you have to share? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-12T17:58:00Z
Great Way to Start the Day
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Great-Way-to-Start-the-Day/-91368491997549179.html
2016-04-12T17:57:00Z
2016-04-12T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just read <a href="/b/Parenting-Tips/853879057040624030.html" target="_blank">Brianna's email</a> about parenting tips, and wanted to comment on something I see every day on my way to work. <br /><br />I usually see a woman, standing with her daughter waiting for the school bus. She gives her a big hug and a kiss before she gets on the bus. Then stands and waves and blows kisses when the bus drives away. <br /><br />I think to myself, "<em>what a terrific way for a kid to start the day</em>". I'm not a parent, but if I was, I'd sure try to practice things like that.<br /><br /><br /><br />What is your favorite childhood memory of your mom or dad? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-12T17:57:00Z
Don't Talk Bad About Your Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dont-Talk-Bad-About-Your-Kids/740718721591458851.html
2016-04-11T17:58:00Z
2016-04-11T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I wanted to touch on the topic of what you should reveal about yourself at work. I'll just start by saying, frustrations with your children are at the top of the list for me. A coworker recently had child number three and he has been noticeably cranky since the birth. <br /><br />Each day, he starts with a routine that acknowledges the difficulties of the previous night. Then, he goes on to complete his monologue with a statement that if he and his wife had conceived <strong>THIS</strong> child first, they would have never chosen to have another. <br /><br />Besides it being a particularly cruel statement to make about a child they <strong>CHOSE</strong> to have, it is also greatly insensitive to other people in our office. People who have struggled to conceive. People who would take the inconsolable baby, without question, to make their family complete.<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a 'Negative Nancy' at work who is hard to deal with? Tell us how you get through each day, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-11T17:58:00Z
Your Compassion
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Your-Compassion/-454028055676009023.html
2016-04-11T17:57:00Z
2016-04-11T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just wanted to send you a quick note to tell you that the compassion you displayed for the caller named Earl moved me to tears. Here is a man that truly needed help and appeared to have no other means of getting any. Your commitment and compassion for that gentleman is something I won't soon forget. <br /><br />I have loved you for years. I am currently a podcast listener but I grew up in San Diego and listened to you before SiriusXM. I didn't think it was possible for my level of respect to go up for you, it's already very high! It did after that call. <br /><br />After being a listener for so many years, I can say I love the show now more than ever! Thanks Dr Laura! You'll be happy to know that my full time job is being my husband's girlfriend, my kids' mom, and making our house a home. <br /><br />Warmly, <br /><br />Lori<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you heard a call that resonated with you? Which caller touched your heart? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-11T17:57:00Z
I Gave a Second Chance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Gave-a-Second-Chance/744184625997420114.html
2016-04-07T17:58:00Z
2016-04-07T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I've been married 35+ years. I forgave my husband back in 1999, for an affair he had in 1994. After counseling and both of us working on our marriage, we made some changes on how we communicated with one another. <br /><br />Today, I trust him 100%. Not to say he will never do that again, but should he, I am positive he will talk to me about feelings for another woman, before it escalates. In the beginning, I did plan on divorcing him; we sold our house, moved out of the city, etc. We are happier in our marriage today, than we have ever been. <br /><br />By the way, I listened to your radio station all the time, every day while I was raising my two kids. You were my moral compass. Thank you, Dr. Laura.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever given someone a second chance at love? What happened? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-07T17:58:00Z
Over Worrying
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Over-Worrying/-710016147960283184.html
2016-04-07T17:57:00Z
2016-04-07T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I used to be an over-worrier. Finally, I got some great advice; think through the "what if" you are worried about. <br /><br /><em>"What if my husband loses his job because of the economy?"</em></p>
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<li>Well, we have this much saved, he will get on the hunt for something else immediately. </li>
<li>I could go back to work. </li>
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Ok, now you have a plan, no more worry needed.
<p><em>"What if we can't take a trip to see far off family for the holidays?"</em></p>
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<li>We'll spend the time in our own home, make some phone calls to loved ones and take lots of pictures of the kids. </li>
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<p><br />Once you have a plan, the worry is easier to let go of! <br /><br />Just a little tip. Thanks for sharing!<br /><br />Tony<br /><br /><br /><br />Tell us your tips for letting go of the worry wart in you, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-07T17:57:00Z
Simple Life, but Happy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Simple-Life,-but-Happy/238208348283675339.html
2016-04-06T17:58:00Z
2016-04-06T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am my kid's mom and my husband of 25 years girlfriend. In my twenties, I got married and had two beautiful boys. Every day I would drop them off at daycare and go to my cushy county job. I started listening to you at work and took to heart everything you said. <br /><br />One night, I went home, looked at my husband and said, "I want to be a stay at home mom." He looked back at me and said, "ok." I did not think he would agree so easily.<br /><br /> Looking back at how much I would be earning now, how big my 401k would be, or how close I would now be to retiring all means nothing. We live a simple life, but we are happy. <strong>I would NEVER say I regret my decision to stay home</strong>. My boys are 21 and 23 now and doing wonderful. They are wonderful. I am so grateful to your voice coming out of my little radio at work and changing my life and the lives of my husband and children. <br /><br />Thank you, Thank you, Thank you,<br /><br />Sherrie<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Have you changed to being an at home mommy? What made you change? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-06T17:58:00Z
Holding on to My Pride
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Holding-on-to-My-Pride/-674308299855985381.html
2016-04-06T17:57:00Z
2016-04-06T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr Laura! <br /><br />Today I'm writing to you to thank you for continuing to on going with this wonderful service of yours, of helping others. I first started listening to you about 12 years ago, My whole family was going through a rough time as my mom had just left my dad. At this time I was living in Mexico and I was going through the radio stations and there you were giving valuable advice to someone! Since then on I kept on listening!<br /><br /> Fast forward those 12 years I am now married, have 18 month baby boy and pregnant! I was listening to one of your "call of the day" about a guy who treated his wife like a "slut". This guy had a religious back ground and his wife had had a lot of boyfriends in the past, she was also having an affair. I listened calmly to the call until the end part, when the call was over, I was crying! That guy was me! <br /><br />I had a strong religious background, my husband was the first man I had sex with. On the other hand, he had experienced a lot of girlfriends and sex. Every time since the first time, I had all those girls in my had when we were intimate. I always thought if they had better body, better boobs, more experience, etc. etc. I got to the point where having sex hurt, physically. I had Drs test me for anything we could to solve the problem. Of course ,sex stopped or rarely happened because of this pain. Frankly I did not enjoy it at all with all his ex on my head. <br /><br />After listening to that call and realizing what I did. I immediately sent my husband a text telling him how I felt. I told him why and after that, things would be different. He gave me a super sweet answer. <br /><br />The next day, he came from work at his lunch break and handed me a bag with lingerie and sex toys inside. We had the best sex ever! And since that night we had sex every night, even though we are both tired and sometimes stressed. He even went shopping the other day and brought home a perfume for me as a surprise, he is doing more of that little extra stuff around the house without me even asking. It was that easy, yes easy, I had to let go of my pride and prejudice. We are now rolling the ball on a different direction. <br /><br />So thank you! For all your advice, only time will tell the effects far and wide of a woman who stands up for what she believes and preaches it (course I'm talking about you). God bless you!!<br /><br />Brandi<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Have you done something to make your spouse feel excluded? How did you make it right? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-06T17:57:00Z
Counting My Blessings
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Counting-My-Blessings/-568861815952073128.html
2016-04-05T17:58:00Z
2016-04-05T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My husband died 12 years ago, while playing tennis. I was 58. Your recent comments on having friends to help us through difficult times were so true. I have been collecting friends these past 12 years. I just made a list of all of the friends that I can call on to have coffee with; the list was over 20. <br /><br />My first thought was, "It takes 20 friends to fill the void left by one wonderful husband". That is the truth and the reality...we just have to go with it. Every day I have a <em>plan</em> and some days I have two. I could go on and on about this journey. It has been lonely and sad, but I continually count my blessings. Losing the love of your life is an emotional wound that never totally heals. <br /><br /><strong>The advice I give to women I meet who find themselves alone due to death or divorce is: "One day at a time, one step at a time". </strong><br /><br />Every day is a gift so I find something to be thankful for and enjoy every day and I write it down!!!! Thank you for what you do to help us, your faithful listeners. <br /><br />Blessings, <br /><br />Jane<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you move forward when you're hurting? Share your tips with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-05T17:58:00Z
Tips on Raising Successful Adults
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Tips-on-Raising-Successful-Adults/250628515679179030.html
2016-04-05T17:57:00Z
2016-04-05T17:57:00Z
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<p>I had to chime in after I heard a call recently where a father was unable to let his diabetic son have his own failures and even his own successes. <br /><br />To quote a recent article I read:</p>
<blockquote><em>"In the past coming-of-age was a gift that older generations gave to the rising generation and now we don't do that for adolescents."</em></blockquote>
This is what we did for our two kids when they were in high school. We had three requirements: <br /><ol>
<li>They had to study a foreign language all four years. </li>
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<li>They had to learn how to drive a clutch before they got their driver's license. </li>
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<li>They had to get a job. </li>
</ol>These three things were <strong>not</strong> negotiable. My son worked at a car wash, where coincidentally he got the practice lots of Spanish. My daughter worked at a local private post office and also had bang-up babysitting business. We did not buy them cars, or cell phones and they both survived. Both eventually bought their own cars. <br /><br />The outcome was one child is now trilingual and the other child is bilingual. Both are college graduates and both are now naval officers. They are living completely independently at the ages of 25 and 23. The thing about these requirements was they were unique surmountable goals that allowed my children a sense of accomplishment and unique successes. Yet, they were things that they were easily attainable and within their reach. Just some ideas for parents who are trying to figure out how to do it.<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you strive to teach your kids independence? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
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Staff
2016-04-05T17:57:00Z
Best Text Ever!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Best-Text-Ever!/884006689631987945.html
2016-04-04T17:58:00Z
2016-04-04T17:58:00Z
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<p>Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I grew up listening to you with my Mom and know I chose wisely! My parents instilled such great morals and values in us kids; we also saw it through our daily lives. The family that my husband and I have made is the joy of our lives. Today I got the following text message from my hunk-of-burning'-love, and I had to share. It didn't just make my day, it made my year! <br /><br />I work from home 4 days a week, and daddy takes over the one day while I go into the office. The kids cherish and look forward to their day with daddy. We are so blessed to be completely involved in our kid's lives and get to see every special moment. Our weekends consist of cleaning, but we also go camping, hiking, and just love being outdoors. We have such a tight-knit family, and our kids know nothing else, which makes us the happiest.<br /><br /> Thank you for your convictions to Mother's staying at home and for the support you provide. I wish all everyone would see things from your point, I honestly know the world would be a better place. Here's to you! You are so strong. <br /><br />Take care, and God bless! <br /><br />Mother Ross<br /><br /><br />P.S. Hope the text I attached makes you smile!<br /><img src="/images/blog/gfpic.jpg" alt="" width="960" height="720" /><br /><br /><br /><br />How do you make your spouse smile? Share your tips with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-04T17:58:00Z
The Good You Do
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Good-You-Do/-709954236896145304.html
2016-04-04T17:57:00Z
2016-04-04T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just want to let you know that I was a family member of your wonderful program for a year. When my membership expired, I felt as if something was missing in my life. Later, I realized that YOU were missing in my life! <br /><br />Thank you for all the good you do, for so many people, including me. In only one year, you have turned me into a stronger and more confident man. I'm now ready to look at the future with courage, hope and compassion. <br /><br />Your program has helped me to stop all contact with a couple of really toxic relationships I was having in my life. Thank you for being so real and inspiring. You gave me the strength that I needed. <br /><br />Should you happen to visit Spain in the future, I will have a cup of Chamomile tea ready for you in no time. Keep up the good work. <br /><br />With deepest appreciation, <br /><br />Eric<br /><br /><br /><br />How has your life changed since you started listening? Share your story, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Staff
2016-04-04T17:57:00Z
Melting Away the Stress
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Melting-Away-the-Stress/457856590083596064.html
2016-04-01T17:58:00Z
2016-04-01T17:58:00Z
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<p>Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I listened to the show on podcast the other day when you talked about ways to de-stress and practice self-care. One of the tips was breathing, which you mentioned doesn't really help you. I'm the same way. However, I recently discovered a breathing technique recommended by a friend that works great, so thought I'd share it with you! <br /><br />This breathing exercise is good for falling asleep or just calming down if you get stressed and I've found it to be really useful. <br /><br />The method is:</p>
<ul>
<li>Inhale for 4 seconds </li>
<li>Hold your breath with your lungs full for 7 seconds</li>
<li>Exhale fully for 8 seconds, and repeat.</li>
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<p>To help calm the environment, I also use an essential oil diffuser with citrus oils. It smells great and gives the room an uplifting, cheery feel. My favorites are tangerine, lemon, peppermint, and lavender. It's a small thing but I find it can be uplifting when you're feeling down.<br /><br />Warmly, <br /><br />Hillary<br /><br /></p>
<div><br />How do you get rid of your stess? Share your tips with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </div>
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Staff
2016-04-01T17:58:00Z
Bible Verses
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bible-Verses/-69765503273339416.html
2016-04-01T17:57:00Z
2016-04-01T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura once said she thought there was a verse in the Bible about trying to reason with idiots. Proverbs is full of excellent verses close to that! <br /><br /><br />One specific verse that I found for her to reference is Proverbs 23:9:</p>
<blockquote><strong><em>"Do not speak in the hearing of a fool for he will despise the good sense of your words."</em></strong></blockquote>
<br />That's excellent advice! I love Dr. Laura. <br /><br />My best wishes, <br /><br />Lee<br /><br /><br />
<div><br />Do you have a quote you'd like to share? Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </div>
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Staff
2016-04-01T17:57:00Z
Cherished Memories With Grandma
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cherished-Memories-With-Grandma/277357090491318398.html
2016-03-31T17:58:00Z
2016-03-31T17:58:00Z
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<p>Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br /> I just read the email from the woman who began the <a href="/b/Daily-Affirmations/-387120292580512368.html" target="_blank">daily affirmations</a> to her husband. It reminded me of a Christmas present I gave to my Grandmother. <br /><br />I had noticed that things were not really getting done around the house that she and my Grandfather lived in. Rather than an ordinary gift for Christmas, I instead, gave her an entire day of myself. Every month I helped her with the chores. <br /><br />She had a heart attack and died that summer. We had to move my Grandfather into assisted living. My memories of those winter days and spring with her are among my most cherished. <br /><br />The attached picture is of my Grandmother 45 years earlier. They had bought a wooded acre, cleared a third of the property with handsaws, and then built their home, board by board. <br /><br />Phil<br /><br /><img src="http://www.DrLaura.com/images/contactuploads/qafkeafqhlfy.jpg" alt="" width="960" height="638" /><br /> <br /></p>
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<div><br />Would you like to share a memory? Share with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </div>
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Staff
2016-03-31T17:58:00Z
Friendship Is Like Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Friendship-Is-Like-Marriage/395125594363648118.html
2016-03-31T17:57:00Z
2016-03-31T17:57:00Z
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<p>Friendship is like marriage without intimacy! Most friendships are broken-up over personal matters that get spread around by accident or intentionally. <br /><br />If one person shares personal issues with a friend regarding their spouse or marriage problems, there's a certain code of confidence or privacy to be expected. If that friend breaks the code protocol and informs others about it, he or she would no longer be trusted. <br /><br />Regardless of agenda, relationships are similar. Whether it be a friend, or loved one we should all be doing more "<em>Treating Kindly</em>".<br /><br /></p>
<div><br />Do you have a bestie that you can't live without? Tell us about them, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </div>
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Staff
2016-03-31T17:57:00Z
Meeting in the Middle
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Meeting-in-the-Middle/758683413590166184.html
2016-03-30T17:58:00Z
2016-03-30T17:58:00Z
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<p>It's a tough subject to deal with the differences in your spouse, without fighting. As adults, we're set in our ways and do not handle criticism well or imposed views other than your own. Fighting between couples arise from insecurities and immature behaviors. <br /><br />Men tend to point the problem...and fix it no matter what. Some women would rather discuss the issue and seek out blame, rather than resolve the problem. Consequently, fighting takes place because it becomes a match. A match where someone must loose, and the other wins. Men are practical creatures, where some women tend to be objective emotionally to discuss marital problems. <br /><br />We need to try to meet in the middle more often...</p>
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<div><br />Do you think opposites attract? Tell us your thoughts, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </div>
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Staff
2016-03-30T17:58:00Z
House Rules For Social Media Use
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/House-Rules-For-Social-Media-Use/-840794220404605644.html
2016-03-30T17:57:00Z
2016-03-30T17:57:00Z
<br />I was just talking to my kids today about the three very important questions to ask themselves BEFORE interacting on ANY social media. I thought I would share our key points.<br /><br />Always ask yourself these 3 questions before speaking to someone or posting online: <br /><ol>
<li>Is it true? </li>
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<li>Is it kind? </li>
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<li>Is it necessary? </li>
</ol><br />I'm sure we will revisit the lesson, and in doing so I remind myself of the same!<br /><br /><br />
<div><br />What are your rules for online interaction? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </div>
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Staff
2016-03-30T17:57:00Z
It Doesn't Matter, As Long As You Do The Right Thing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Doesnt-Matter,-As-Long-As-You-Do-The-Right-Thing/116363346304357032.html
2016-03-29T17:58:00Z
2016-03-29T17:58:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />You have changed my life and the way I view the world. You taught me it doesn't matter what others think if you do the right thing. When my son was still severely affected by autism, and had a full blown meltdown in the grocery store or at a restaurant. You were on my shoulder, whispering in my ear. You taught me that I should only be concerned with doing what was right for my son at that moment. Not to worry about what anyone else thinks. You have influenced all I do. <br /><br />My son is now an engineer at a major aerospace company and does all the things "the experts" said could never happen. His recovery was not miraculous, but the result of receiving proper medical care. When he was diagnosed, the "experts" said I would need to put him in an institution. They were wrong. Although it has been over twenty years since my son was diagnosed, it is still not common knowledge that autism is medical and treatable. An "autism" diagnosis no longer has to mean "game over" and parents don't have to helplessly watch as their children slip away. If a child's health can be restored by treating hidden viruses and infections, that is a huge win. This is the message I deliver at autism conferences across the country. I want to thank you for being with me during my darkest hours. <br /><br />And finally thank you for sharing my article called "<a href="/b/Can-A-Marriage-Survive-Autism-Four-Things-You-Need-To-Know-That-Are-Key-To-Protect-Your-Marriage/-870002708025571911.html" target="_blank">Can a Marriage Survive Autism?</a>" on your website. That was a defining moment for me. I have watched you make difference for so many with all the things you do! <br /><br /><br />
<div><br />Do you have a loved one with Autism? Tell us your story, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </div>
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Staff
2016-03-29T17:58:00Z
I Didn't Give In, I Didn't Cave, I Didn't Yell Back...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Didnt-Give-In,-I-Didnt-Cave,-I-Didnt-Yell-Back.../-266845010597781591.html
2016-03-29T17:57:00Z
2016-03-29T17:57:00Z
<br /><br />I heard a caller speaking about her sons fighting. I have 3 sons, now ages 28, 26, and 24. When they were young, my middle son especially, would throw these fits when playing games with his brother. <br /><br />He would throw things, hit, scream and yell. He seemed to hate everyone and everything. One thing that was VERY effective for us, was writing age appropriate sentences - such as "I will not hit". As they got older, "I will not hit my brother because it hurts him." One time he sat at the table for 2 hours and the longer he sat, the more sentences he wrote. I would hear him yell, "I don't know why you make me write these STUPID SENTENCES ANYWAY."<br /><br />I didn't give in, I didn't cave, I didn't yell back... I just simply said "10 more" and he sat until they were written. It was worse than a time out, worse than taking something away for him. And today, he is calm, cool, collected and college educated. Guess what... he plays softball on his brother's softball team! <br /><br />I tried every tactic under the sun! Not everything will work for every kid, but boy he hated writing those sentences. He does still mention the sentences from time to time. <br /><br />
<div><br /><br />How did you handle your siblings? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </div>
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Staff
2016-03-29T17:57:00Z
Sometimes Hinting Doesn't Work
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sometimes-Hinting-Doesnt-Work/938610198119929923.html
2016-03-28T17:58:00Z
2016-03-28T17:58:00Z
<br />By now, all my friends and family are aware that I do not look at my phone when I'm out with them. If I'm out with anyone and they keep looking at their phone, I immediately say in a very sweet and loving way, "You'll notice that I rarely look at my phone when I'm with you. This is because I value and treasure my time with you. Please show me the same respect." <br /><br />This usually nips it right in the bud and I seldom have to say or do anything else. If they continue to occasionally look at their phone after I've said this, I will touch their hand gently and repeat it. If they STILL continue to look at their phone every few minutes, I will say, "I love you, but I will not tolerate disrespect. Please call me when you are ready to spend quality time together." Then I get up right then and leave. (Yes, even if I'm at a restaurant alone with them!)<br /><br />We must be willing to let people know how we feel and then be willing to enforce it if they don't respect us. We can't control others, we can only control our reaction. <br /><br />Lots of love.<br /><br /><br /><br />
<div><br />How do you handle smartphones at the table? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </div>
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Staff
2016-03-28T17:58:00Z
Daily Affirmations
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Daily-Affirmations/-387120292580512368.html
2016-03-28T17:57:00Z
2016-03-28T17:57:00Z
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<div><br />On January 1, 2016 my husband and I celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary. Why am I telling you this? <br /><br />I decided to commit myself to writing him a love note for 365 days as my anniversary gift to him. I also mentioned to him that I wanted to publish a post it note cube with 365 love notes that people can tear off and give to their love ones. My husband knew that was a big feat to pull off, he suggested that instead create a social media page. That way I could post a love note each day. I thought that was the greatest idea and have begun doing just that. <br /><br />By doing this everyday, I feel like his girlfriend and I have you to thank Dr. Laura!<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you show your spouse you care? Tell us how you handled it, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </div>
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Staff
2016-03-28T17:57:00Z
Amazed at the Rudeness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Amazed-at-the-Rudeness/466278489753109253.html
2016-03-25T17:58:00Z
2016-03-25T17:58:00Z
<br />A year ago the love of my life died, at age 77. Since then, I moved into the independent living section of senior living complex, to be close to our only child and his family. <br /><br />It is a wonderful home and I am so happy to be living here in my own space. Meals are in a common dining room. I am amazed at how some of the residents treat the kitchen and dining staff! Constant complaints about everything from the seasoning on the fish to the texture of the vegetables. <br /><br />It is so sad to see seniors behaving this way, as if they are entitled to be rude or have earned the right to judge everything. It reinforces that you age, as you have lived your life. If you were cranky, judgmental, and just plain not nice to be around it will only get worse as you get older. I keep myself in check. There are certainly times to voice an opinion, but not over and over and over yet again and again... <br /><br />Thanks for reminding us that rudeness is not acceptable under any circumstances!<br /><br /><br />
<div><br />Have you ever been stuck in a rude situation? Tell us how you handled it, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </div>
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Staff
2016-03-25T17:58:00Z
Laughter and Tears Over the Years
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Laughter-and-Tears-Over-the-Years/289110501960123535.html
2016-03-25T17:57:00Z
2016-03-25T17:57:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Thanks so much for providing the podcast of the <a href="/movienight" target="_blank">Casablanca Movie Night discussion</a>. It has always been one of my favorites. Listening to others interpretations, as well as yours, was very enjoyable. It made me feel so good. <br /><br />I thought I'd write to express my thanks for your good advice, as well as the laughter and tears I've shared with you over the years. I am married to my warrior who served in Vietnam and Korea, while in the Navy. He is a Captain and was in command of destroyers. He is one of those rare men who has always been honorable, kind, brave, intelligent and oh so sexy. I am one fortunate woman! We have been married for almost 24 years. Together we have seven children. We married after they were grown and amazingly we all love one another. I am almost 76 and my dear sweet husband is 86. He is the other part of my heart. <br /><br />Love, <br /><br />Elinor <br /><br /><br />P.S. <br />By the way, I can do the plank for two minutes! <br />
<div><br /><br /><br />Are you a fortunate lady too? Tell us about your warrior, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </div>
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Staff
2016-03-25T17:57:00Z
Technology vs. Family Vacation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Technology-vs.-Family-Vacation/364433343386214528.html
2016-03-24T17:58:00Z
2016-03-24T17:58:00Z
<br />I just want to echo my concern about an epidemic that is growing, largely unnoticed, around the world. I first saw hints of humans' scary reliance on electronics in 2004 during the summer. I was in a European country visiting relatives, and they all had cell phones, which they interacted with - <em><strong>ALOT</strong></em>. <br /><br />Fast forward 12 years, I have just returned from an 11 day holiday in Hawaii. I was so saddened that quite a few of the children in our group and some of the adults were so interested in their electronics, that they preferred playing with the devices to enjoying the many experiences in Oahu. One young child was actually unable to participate in playing on the beach for long periods of time; as the child wanted to be on their tablet. <br /><br />In the past, the parental answer would have been a resounding "No, we did not spend all this time and money to take this vacation to have you on your electronics. GO outside!", now the parents are <strong>just</strong> as addicted to their devices as their children. They see nothing unusual with the inability to turn off the electronics for any extended period of time. I shudder to think what the physical health and social interactions of humans will look like in the near and far future. <br /><br />A techno luddite<br /><br /><br />
<div><br />What do you think about the recent flood of electronic devices in our lives? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </div>
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Staff
2016-03-24T17:58:00Z
Gaining Altitude
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Gaining-Altitude/987530104459321843.html
2016-03-24T17:57:00Z
2016-03-24T17:57:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />People today are no longer made of sturdy stuff. I was the last of eight children and my mother was a stay at home mom while my father was a laborer. Yes, we were without many things, there were many hardships, but we were a together family. <br /><br />By today's standards, they couldn't afford to have eight children. They found a way and they made it work. It was all about attitude and faith in God, which they passed on to us. <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_H._Schuller" target="_blank">Robert Schuller</a> once said, "<em>Your attitude determines your altitude</em>." <br /><br />I do not believe in the concept of not being able to afford a child. The idea that a child must be wanted was not even a thought for decades. Wanting a child or not is a modern idea that birth control made possible. I think birth control is a curse, not a blessing. The behaviors it produced are destructive to society. Women from earlier ages were made of sturdier stuff out of necessity. And they were proud to be good mothers. They accepted their many children, many of whom were unplanned. I could write a book about how a large poor family can survive and thrive, that affordability is overrated. Large families can survive as long as they have housing, food, clothing, and medical care. <br /><br />My three children helped pay for their own educations, because my wife was a stay at home mom and we only had one salary. Children from all families, rich or poor, have to be taught to work for things they want. The work ethic they develop will serve them well for the rest of their lives. They will become sturdy human beings too if we de-program them from the ideas which limit them.<br /><br /><br />
<div><br />What do you think is limiting you? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </div>
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Staff
2016-03-24T17:57:00Z
JUST DO IT
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/JUST-DO-IT/890728795207510504.html
2016-03-23T17:58:00Z
2016-03-23T17:58:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura; <br /><br />Your daily emails with photo quotes give me so much more than you can imagine to survive the day and make courageous decisions. The major of piece of advice that I took was to write off extended family that were destroying my marriage, and the relationships I have with my children. <br /><br />They were too intrusive. They went against everything I was doing to raise my daughter up to become a woman. My parents are very controlling and have raised all 5 of their children to be just that; children! <br /><br />I wanted to grow up. I had to step away or else my two sons would not have had the chance to become men. We have enough boys in men's bodies. I refuse to add two more to it. In the beginning it was hard. When you REALLY know you are doing the right thing...No matter how hard, you JUST DO IT. Especially when your children are affected. <br /><br />I just wanted you to know it hasn't been easy but it's been one of the best and grown-up decisions I have made in my life. Thank you Dr. Laura for all your common sense support. You are the best! <br /><br />Gina<br /><br /><br />
<div><br />Who supports you to get things done? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </div>
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Staff
2016-03-23T17:58:00Z
I Live My Life in the Real World
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Live-My-Life-in-the-Real-World/625186942107867768.html
2016-03-23T17:57:00Z
2016-03-23T17:57:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I recently had a visit from my old high school best friend. She lives many states away and I have not seen her in 18 years! I am an army wife. We move quite a bit, so visits like this don't come around very often. Needless to say, I was very excited to have her visit and a catch up on our lives. <br /><br />I have a smart phone that I use maybe a couple times a day. I can definitely live without it, just fine. If fact, my husband even got rid of our house phone, so we only use our cell phones. I nipped that in bud real quick! Bottom line is that I like to have real conversations. I don't believe that texting and using social media is a replacement. <br /><br />While my friend was visiting, if her phone went off in the middle of a conversation, instead of ignoring the sound, she begin to interact with her phone. She just kept talking to me while doing whatever she wanted, on her phone. At one point, she thought she had lost her phone and completely. She went into a state of panic.<br />
<blockquote>I told her: <em>"We will find it, it can't be too far." </em><br /><br />Her response was: <em>"I can't function if I don't know where my phone is and I won't be able to sleep if I don't find it before we go to bed." </em></blockquote>
<br />I didn't know how to respond because I was in a state of shock. I have gone several days without my phone and couldn't comprehend someone of our age, would be in such an anxiety ridden state over a cell phone. I do use my phone to listen to your podcast, on a daily basis, but if my family is here I put it away and only listen while I'm doing housework or maybe grocery shopping. I wish there was more I could do to stop the madness but, I think it's out of my hands. I think if she were able to put her phone down, while she was here, we would have had a much better time.<br /><br />After she had gone, I checked my Facebook and noticed that she had been posting different comments and pictures the whole time we were together. I wasn't mad about the whole thing; I was more surprised and sad for her. I live my life in the real world. <br /><br />I'm just glad you're on the air to remind people that this is a very real problem! When you see it happening in front of you, it's actually very scary. So, keep putting the word out there that overusing your phone isn't good. <br /><br />Thank you for being who you are and for all that you do. The world needs more people like you! <br /><br />Di<br />
<div><br /><br /><br />Do you have a friend addicted to electronics? Tell us how you handle your relationship with them, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </div>
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Staff
2016-03-23T17:57:00Z
No Negativity Here
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-Negativity-Here/389274732826536872.html
2016-03-22T17:58:00Z
2016-03-22T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have tried extremely hard to not become a constant nag and negative force in my household. My personality is more of a leader. I can easily take over a situation and tell everyone what to do. Even though I am a leader, I am much happier when my husband is in control and has more say in the family. <br /><br />I stop myself from taking over by:</p>
<ul>
<li>Constantly reminding myself how wonderful my husband is and how much he does for all of us every day. </li>
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<li> I praise him and tell him what I appreciate about him, then I thank him for it. (this helps put my complaining into perspective)</li>
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<li>I may wish he would do this and that differently, but he is a grown man and deserves the right to make his own decisions. </li>
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<li>Making him feel at home in our house. I want him to feel that he's being treated like an adult man, not a child to be talked down to and constantly corrected. </li>
</ul>
<div><br />As you say in your book, '<em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a></em>', the more appreciative of him I am, the more he does for me without my asking. <br /><br />Incredible. <br /><br />Thanks for all of your advice and encouragement.<br /><br /><br /><br />How appreciative are you of your significant other? Tell us how you treat kindly, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </div>
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Staff
2016-03-22T17:58:00Z
Giving Made Easy With Amazon Smile
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Giving-Made-Easy-With-Amazon-Smile/852673710285067422.html
2016-03-22T17:57:00Z
2016-03-22T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I wasn't sure if you were aware that Amazon has a program called '<a href="http://smile.amazon.com/gp/chpf/about/ref=smi_aas_redirect?ie=UTF8&ref_=smi_ge_ul_lm_raas" target="_blank">Amazon Smile</a>'. When you shop at smile.amazon.com, Amazon donates to your favorite charitable organization.<br /><br /> Once you identify your charity, a portion of every purchase made will go to the charity in question; as long as you are signed on to "Amazon Smile" instead of just going through "Amazon.com". Just to let everyone know, <a href="http://www.operationfamilyfund.org/" target="_blank">Operation Family Fund</a> is listed as "<strong>Operation Enduring Freedom Family Fund</strong>" . Both my husband and I have assigned Operation Family fund to our Amazon Accounts. It's such an easy way to contribute. <br /><br />I also want to personally thank you for your "service" to so many people in the United States. I am a better, wife, girlfriend, mother, friend, sibling and daughter because of your passion to help others. My husband and I listen regularly and it has changed our world for the better. My daughters will never be lost in life because I am able to give them solid, good advice. They are well grounded, kind, smart and productive girls. They WILL choose wisely, because my husband and I have been excellent role models of what a marriage CAN be. My world is complete, I am truly blessed and content. <br /><br />Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. My family and I are so grateful. <br /><br />Lots of Love and Hugs,<br /><br />Jessica<br /><br /></p>
<div><br /><br />How do you give back? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </div>
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Staff
2016-03-22T17:57:00Z
Walking Away From $13 Million Dollars
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Walking-Away-From-$13-Million-Dollars/423233884571379130.html
2016-03-21T17:58:00Z
2016-03-21T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />In case you haven't heard the story, major league baseball player <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_LaRoche" target="_blank">Adam LaRoche</a> unexpectedly announced his immediate retirement from baseball this week. <br /><br />His sudden retirement came about because his employer, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicago_White_Sox" target="_blank">The Chicago White Sox</a>, reneged on their agreement to allow LaRoche's 14-year old son to accompany him to practices and games. By retiring, LaRoche walked away from the $13M he would have earned by playing this coming season. <br /><br /><em><strong>Now, I am NOT a White Sox fan, but this man is one hell of a Dad!</strong></em><br /><br /><a href="http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/mlb/2016/03/18/adam-laroche-says-he-white-sox-had-agreement-cites-rift-ken-williams-departure/81977346/" target="_blank">Click Here to read LaRoche's statement</a><br /><br />From fellow dedicated Dad, <br /><br />Charlie </p>
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<div><br /><br />As a father, what would you give up to be there for your kids? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
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Staff
2016-03-21T17:58:00Z
Dropping My Perfectionism
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dropping-My-Perfectionism/39338023671315338.html
2016-03-21T17:57:00Z
2016-03-21T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I really wanted to binge this morning. The anxiety was overwhelming. I had even planned out in my mind what I was going to eat. Instead, I drank some water and caught up on a podcast I missed last week. <br /><br />The mini lecture was "<a href="/programhighlights?date=20160315" target="_blank">How to Keep Perfectionism from Hurting Your Marriage</a>." I am totally guilty of trying to be perfect. What you were describing was me! <br /><br />I am working on being kinder to myself and opening up to people I trust, especially my husband. I really needed to hear those words this morning. I am going to listen to that podcast the next time I'm feeling the need to be perfect. <br /><br />Thank you for all you do, <br /><br />Candy</p>
<div>
<div><br /><br />What's your trick to take a step back when you need to calm down? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
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Staff
2016-03-21T17:57:00Z
Connecting Face to Face
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Connecting-Face-to-Face/590867198612550088.html
2016-03-17T17:58:00Z
2016-03-17T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br /></p>
Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I've had the great privilege of growing up listening to you since I was about 10 years old. My parents were fans and lived as an example of choosing wisely and treating kindly (33 years of marriage this year!). They always raised us with morals, principles, and a lifestyle the aligns with what you teach every day on the air. I am now my kids mom. I am my husband's girlfriend. I am a loyal friend and a confident adult. I am a master mom juggler for those little eyes watching me (5 years old and 4 month old) and live as a woman they could be proud to call mom.
<div><br />
<div>I came across this video that brought tears to my eyes. There are too many moments that go missed due to screen distraction. Childhoods are getting lost in the online vortex of digital babysitters. <br /><br /><a href="http://themetapicture.com/if-this-doesnt-convince-you/" target="_blank">Click here to view: Look Up<br /></a><br />Thank you for being a voice of reason in an illogical world and reminding families that marriage, motherhood, and manners still matter. I'm grateful for you and your podcast. I listen every day and never miss a show. I can only hope and practice to be a great mom like you someday. Thank you for all you do. <br /><br />Your loyal listener, <br /><br /> Krista <br /><br /><br /><br />How do you think social media impacts your life? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
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Staff
2016-03-17T17:58:00Z
Upside Down and Inside Out
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Upside-Down-and-Inside-Out/362811342275137438.html
2016-03-17T17:57:00Z
2016-03-17T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br /></p>
<div>
<div>Dr Laura,</div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1455823227781_2534">I have listened for many years to you talk about this world that is turning itself upside down and inside out. <br /><br />When this world gets too upside down for me, there's a old song that helps me cope. The song is titled "Living Life Upside Down" by a Christian group named "<em><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truth_(American_band)" target="_blank">Truth</a>"</em>. Besides being a great group, the message is a good one, if not a little dated.I have attached it here in the hope that you enjoy it as much as I do.</div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1455823227781_2617" dir="ltr"><br /><br />Here's the chorus:<br /><br /><em>What if we've fallen to the bottom of a well</em><br /><em>Thinking we've risen to the top of a mountain</em><br /><em>What if we're knocking at the gates of hell</em><br /><em>Thinking that we're heaven bound</em><br /><em>And what if we spend our lives thinking of ourselves</em><br /><em>When we should have been thinking of each other</em><br /><em>What if we reach up and touch the ground</em><br /><em>To find we're living life, upside down</em><span><br /></span><br />Click here to listen to: <em><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAXMSL5ZD6g" target="_blank">Living Life Upside Down</a></em><br /><br /><br />Keep up the good work,</div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1455823227781_2618" dir="ltr"><br />Warren </div>
</div>
<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />What song get's you through? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
Staff
2016-03-17T17:57:00Z
My Son's Video Game Detox
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Sons-Video-Game-Detox/-189052551149379654.html
2016-03-16T17:58:00Z
2016-03-16T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr Laura, <br /><br />Technology almost ruined my 14-yr-old son's life but I think we have intervened in time but not without heavy consequences. We are just now helping him put his life back together. He was addicted to his video games. He just couldn't handle school or much of anything else anymore. He lost all ability to cope with even the little things. <br /><br />The virtual world was very responsive to him. He could be in control. In the real world, things became painfully slow and boring. He lost interest in most everything. We were watching our smart, intuitive and optimistic boy become withdrawn, socially inept, depressed, angry and anxious. We took his games away and have gone through a very difficult 8 weeks of withdrawal...it was just like coming off a drug. <br /><br />There is very little information on how you "detox" from something like this. I'm blown away at how this effected our family life. There is story after story of kids who have extreme testimonies of gaming effects. My son is slowly coming back to life, he's drawing and creating again. We are trying to help him fill the void by keeping him as busy as possible. <br /><br /><em><strong>There is hope but parents MUST be strong enough to set the boundaries and protect their kids and families from being eaten alive by technology.</strong></em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Is your kid hooked on electronics? Tell us your story, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-03-16T17:58:00Z
What Makes a Friend?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Makes-a-Friend/888391756384301279.html
2016-03-16T17:56:00Z
2016-03-16T17:56:00Z
<p>On the outside my true friends come in all shapes, sizes, etc., but what they all have in common is that we share the same values. <br /><br />I am referring to the BIGGIES in the value bucket; like honesty/integrity, respect, family, health and loyalty. When a friendship fizzles, as they can very easily do, it can usually be traced back to their lack of a core value. At the time it's hard to see but in the long run, it always comes out. <br /><br /><br /><br />What makes someone a friend to you? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-03-16T17:56:00Z
Social Media vs. Human Contact
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Social-Media-vs.-Human-Contact/279969395000845715.html
2016-03-15T17:58:00Z
2016-03-15T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I think social media is one of the biggest threats to a marriage. Social media seems to occupy some people's time so much that they forget how to communicate in person. Some people use social media in lieu of actual contact. <br /><br />Many men and women will "friend" people whom they do not know. They only add the new "friend" because they have a provocative photo or profile. Oftentimes the friendships made are not ones that the spouse is privy to and this causes mistrust. In the end, this coupled with other personal factors can cause many men and women to stray outside the boundaries of their marriages. It leads to secretive, destructive behavior and can eventually wreck a family. I have a social media accounts, but I won't have withdrawals if I closed them today. <br /><br /><br /><br />How do you use social media? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-03-15T17:58:00Z
Sticking to My Guns
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sticking-to-My-Guns/-797166430961734819.html
2016-03-15T17:57:00Z
2016-03-15T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been a listener for 3 years and you have made more of an impact on my life than anyone in my entire 28 years. I wanted to thank you and let you know how you have helped me. I called you back in October about a friend who was shacking up and found herself pregnant. I called you because people kept telling me I was wrong for not congratulating her etc... Long story short, you told me I was doing the right thing and thanked me for "following through". You also called me your "heroine" and I will never forget that day! I look up to you so much and don't have many people in my life I can say that about. <br /><br />Since that call to you, I was invited to the baby shower and declined to go. Needless to say, I have been getting heat for this decision. Tonight I had a rough night. My sister told me I was an awful person for not going to the shower and made me feel very badly. However, I stayed true to my convictions and told her I will not compromise my morals, values and ethics like the rest of society does these days. I cried in the shower and thought about how wrong it is that I'm being made to feel horrible for doing the right thing. I thought about you and how I needed to stay strong. It's sad that doing the right things these days is the minority. <br /><br />I will not compromise my principles! I thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you do. I truly don't know how I would get through this crazy world without you. I hope one day to meet more people like you. Until then I will be listening everyday...<br /><br />Love, <br /><br />Jen<br /> <br /><br /><br />Have you ever felt bad for doing the right thing? Tell us how you got through your tough decision, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-03-15T17:57:00Z
I Didn't Think it Was THAT Easy!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Didnt-Think-it-Was-THAT-Easy!/-980243826998601386.html
2016-03-14T17:58:00Z
2016-03-14T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />After listening for a while, I realized that you remind me of a parent that practices tough love in your responses to your callers...and that is exactly what most of this world needs.<br /><br /> I work in a large aerospace company and one of my coworkers is either eating or talking to her sister for over 2 hours a day, during work. I've struggled with this for a couple years. I have not said anything to my boss, although tempted, I know I would just would be a tattle-tale. <br /><br />You had a caller with a similar issue. You gave her a visualization of being out in the ocean with her coworkers. The caller was paddling but her coworkers were not. You had her visualize them slowly falling behind. Letting the caller get to shore. You told her that it was her new outlook on things. That she should just keep on doing what she had been doing. <br /><br /><strong>Let the others get noticed for what they aren't doing and that's that. </strong><br /><br />I tell you, I didn't think it was that easy! Now, as I sit here on my break, I'm listening to yet another conversation (with no work being done) and for some reason, it doesn't matter anymore! <br /><br /><strong>I just do my job and let her NOT do her job and I'm ok with it. </strong><br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura, for taking this off my shoulders. I'm very thankful for you! <br /><br /><br /><br />How do you rid yourself of workplace stress? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-03-14T17:58:00Z
I CAN Do It...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-CAN-Do-It.../-670195041921094935.html
2016-03-14T17:57:00Z
2016-03-14T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I've listened to you for many years previously. With your advice in mind, I finally stepped out of my comfort zone. <br /><br />I was unhappy and unhealthy; living on hope that things would work themselves out. Well...they didn't. <br /><br />Physically, I'm handicap. Emotionally, I'm very strong. I struggle often but find the strength in the things that I know are important to me. I find strength in my family. I'm taking things as they come but know that I can do it.<br /><br />Thank you for your regular wisdom. <br /><br />This Mommy Thanks You!<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you push through problems? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-03-14T17:57:00Z
Stepping Out Of My 'Comfort Zone'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stepping-Out-Of-My-Comfort-Zone/-446257703396576116.html
2016-03-08T18:58:00Z
2016-03-08T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I am a portrait artist and I work in my studio all day, every day...alone. I decided I needed more socialization. So, along with hubby, we applied to be docents at a Fine Arts Center. <br /><br />The work is very different from my old routine, where I was comfortable. Now we meet the public, talk about the art, promote the center and have met the rest of the docent class. They're great people, we love them all. <br /><br />I was very nervous, but I'm finding that this new part of me is very happy indeed. As a bonus, I have found that the docent training and tours have actually inspired my art, which is blossoming too! Jump in!!! <br /><br />Thank you, <br /><br />Sarah <br /><br /><br /><br />How do you get out of your routine? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-03-08T18:58:00Z
Thankful For The Sick Day
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thankful-For-The-Sick-Day/908830639195120923.html
2016-03-08T18:57:00Z
2016-03-08T18:57:00Z
<br />I'm lying in bed holding my sick son while he sleeps. I am so thankful that I can be at home with him and be his mommy and take care of him like this. I can't imagine sending him off to daycare on a healthy day. Let alone a sick day, like today. <br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura. Thank you for guiding me. Guiding me to stay at home with my kids, so I can be their mom and be my husband's girlfriend. And obviously thanks to my husband for being a real man - my man! <br /><br />Diana<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a real man? Tell us about him, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
Staff
2016-03-08T18:57:00Z
Having Fun With Time Management
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Having-Fun-With-Time-Management/115002499871593988.html
2016-03-07T18:57:00Z
2016-03-07T18:57:00Z
<br />I'm AWFUL at time management. My husband and I own a very stressful business and the only way I can stay on track is to make it a game. <br /><br />When I complete 10 tasks, no matter how minor, I get a 2 minute "play" break. I can go on Facebook, read, whatever I want to do for that time is mine to choose. The trick is to set a timer for the "play time". Bigger tasks completed earn me longer periods to goof off. Setting the timer makes all the difference!<br /><br />This also worked well with my kids for all sorts of things; from chores to homework. I think it demonstrated to them that work has to get done, but taking breaks is important as well.<br /><br />
<p><br /><br />How do you force yourself to take a break? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-03-07T18:57:00Z
Listening To Your Advice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Listening-To-Your-Advice/161917252421294664.html
2016-03-07T18:57:00Z
2016-03-07T18:57:00Z
<br /><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Last April I called for your help. I wanted to know how not to mess up a new relationship I was in. The man I was dating at the time had been married in the past and we met on an online dating site. <br /><br />Two things you told me were: <br /><ol>
<li>Don't mess up! <em>I remember laughing at how simple that advice seemed to be.</em></li>
<br />
<li>The other thing you told me was that just because the man I was dating seemed perfect, he might not be perfect for me.<em> I sure did not want to hear that. As always, you were matter of fact with the info. </em></li>
</ol><br />As it turned out, it was not a match. At the time I was heartbroken, because he was such a good guy. He and I would talk on occasion over the next few months. He encouraged me to try online dating once again. I waited a short time and followed his advice. <br /><br />As it turned out, I met a man who is not only of high caliber; we are a very good match as well! We have so much fun together. We share common values and goals, argue in a healthy way, and have plans for a future together! The best part is that he says I treat him better than anyone else. <br /><br />Would you like to know why? Because I've already read "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care And Feeding of Husbands</a>" and apply it daily. Thank you Dr. Laura!<br /><br />
<p><br /><br />What have you learned from "The Proper Care And Feeding Of Husbands"? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-03-07T18:57:00Z
Treating Him As A 'Grown Man'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Treating-Him-As-A-Grown-Man/2281843352424859.html
2016-03-02T18:58:00Z
2016-03-02T18:58:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Just had to comment on your topic today, as I have tried so hard to not become a constant nag and negative force in my household. My personality is more of a leader and I can easily take over and tell everyone what to do, but I am happier when my husband is in control and has more say in the family. I stop myself from taking over by constantly reminding myself how wonderful my husband is and how much he does for all of us every day. There is always something I can appreciate about him and thank him for, and it helps put my complaining into perspective. <br /><br />I may wish that he would do this and that differently, but he is a grown man and deserves the right to make his own decisions. I want him to feel at home in our house and feel that he's being treated like a "grown man", not a child to be talked down to or constantly corrected. As you say in your book, "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a>", the more appreciative of him I am, the more he does for me without my asking. <br /><br />Incredible. <br /><br />Thanks for all of your advice and encouragement.<br /><br />Dana<br />
<p><br /><br />How do you give your husband the space and love that her needs? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-03-02T18:58:00Z
'Caller Clinic' Opening Soon
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Caller-Clinic-Opening-Soon/-767231248320329079.html
2016-03-02T18:57:00Z
2016-03-02T18:57:00Z
<br />I have been listening to you for about a year on Sirius XM Stars, and I enjoy your program. I find that the advice and recommendations that you give to callers helps me to better understand myself and others. <br /><br />Though I enjoy your program, I get frustrated with callers that don't take the time to understand your values, before they ask you for advice! For instance, I don't understand why a female caller would say that she was "her kids' mom" and "her husband's girlfriend", then continue to ask you if she should put her newborn in daycare. Since she is a "single" mom trying to deal with issues between her children and her second husband's children in their "blended family"? I think it is insulting to you when callers identify with your "my kids' mom" slogan and then expect to be validated in a way that is contrary to your entire belief system. <br /><br />I am thinking about writing my own caller's guide for the Dr. Laura program. I'll send it to you when it's done, so that we can have a good laugh together. Perhaps you can use it to hold a "caller clinic" to educate potential future callers.<br />
<p> </p>
<p><br /><br />Are you truly your husband's girlfriend and your kids mom? Tell us about a time when you had second throughts, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-03-02T18:57:00Z
Disrespect And Boys Becoming Men
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Disrespect-And-Boys-Becoming-Men/403811241497509944.html
2016-03-01T18:58:00Z
2016-03-01T18:58:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have a story that our older friend shared with me, about when he was raising his son. <br /><br />One day. the father came home to his wife, tell him him that their 16 year old son had called her a *itch. That afternoon, he called his son to join him in the barn. With a sort of smile in his voice he said, "Hey, son, I hear you called your mother a *itch today." Sensing the seemingly approval in his dad's voice, the son smiled and said, "I sure did!"<br /><br />Upon his son's confession, his dad took his by the collar, pulled him up to his nose and said, "You might speak to your mother like that but NOBODY...and I mean NOBODY... speaks to my wife like that." <br /><br />Disrespect toward that young man's mother never happened again. The young man grew up to work in his family business, alongside of his "highly-respected" mom. He is a wonderful young man who treats his wife with the utmost respect! <br /><br />Two lessons were taught here:<br /><ol>
<li>Nobody was going to disrespect this man's wife.</li>
<br />
<li>This is how the young man was to treat young ladies...including his future wife. </li>
</ol><br />Love your show and you, Dr. Laura! Keep up the hard work!
<p>Lex</p>
<p><br /><br />Have your parents ever give you a wake up call? Tell us what happened, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-03-01T18:58:00Z
'Fifteen'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fifteen/966315473746754891.html
2016-03-01T18:57:00Z
2016-03-01T18:57:00Z
<br />Hello, <br /><br />During your call with the 19 yr-old girl today, I was thinking of the song "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pb-K2tXWK4w" target="_blank">Fifteen</a>" by<a href="http://www.taylorswift.com/" target="_blank"> Taylor Swift</a>. One of Taylor's lines says, "<em>when you're fifteen and someone tells you they love you, you're gonna believe them</em>." <br /><br />I wish I had this song in my back pocket when I was going through the ups and downs of my teenage romances. If you have a moment, listen to the song in full. It is a good one to recommend to young adults who are just learning the in's and out's of dating. Here are the rest of the lyrics for you. <br /><br />Enjoy and have a great day!<br /><br /><br /><strong>Fifteen</strong><br /><strong>By: Taylor Swift</strong><br />
<blockquote>
<p><em>You take a deep breath and you walk through the doors</em><br /><em> It's the morning of your very first day</em><br /><em> You say "Hi" to your friends you ain't seen in a while</em><br /><em> Try and stay out of everybody's way</em><br /><em> It's your freshman year and you're gonna be here</em><br /><em> For the next four years in this town</em><br /><em> Hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say,</em><br /><em> 'You know I haven't seen you around before.'</em><br /> <br /><em> 'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you</em><br /><em> You're gonna believe them</em><br /><em> And when you're fifteen</em><br /><em> Feeling like there's nothing to figure out</em><br /><em> Well count to ten, take it in</em><br /><em> This is life before you know who you're gonna be</em><br /><em> Fifteen</em><br /> <br /><em> You sit in class next to a redhead named Abigail</em><br /><em> And soon enough you're best friends</em><br /><em> Laughing at the other girls who think they're so cool</em><br /><em> We'll be out of here as soon as we can</em><br /><em> And then you're on your very first date and he's got a car</em><br /><em> And you're feeling like flying</em><br /><em> And you're momma's waiting up and you think he's the one</em><br /><em> And you're dancing 'round your room when the night ends</em><br /><em> When the night ends</em><br /> <br /><em> 'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you</em><br /><em> You're gonna believe them</em><br /><em> When you're fifteen and your first kiss</em><br /><em> Makes your head spin round but</em><br /><em> In your life you'll do things greater than dating the boy of the football team</em><br /><em> But I didn't know it at fifteen</em><br /> <br /><em> When all you wanted was to be wanted</em><br /><em> Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now</em><br /><em> Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday</em><br /><em> But I realized some bigger dreams of mine</em><br /> <br /><em> And Abigail gave everything she had to a boy</em><br /><em> Who changed his mind and we both cried</em><br /> <br /><em> 'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you</em><br /><em> You're gonna believe them</em><br /><em> And when you're fifteen, don't forget to look before you fall</em><br /><em> I've found that time can heal most anything</em><br /><em> And you just might find who you're supposed to be</em><br /><em> I didn't know who I was supposed to be at fifteen</em><br /> <br /><em> La la la la la la la</em><br /><em> La la la la la la la</em><br /><em> La la la la la la la</em><br /> <br /><em> Your very first day</em><br /><em> Take a deep breath, girl</em><br /><em> Take a deep breath as you walk through the doors.</em></p>
</blockquote>
<p><br /><br />Do you have a song that makes you nostaglic? Tell us what is it, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-03-01T18:57:00Z
JUST DO IT
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/JUST-DO-IT/-732733515686408804.html
2016-02-29T18:58:00Z
2016-02-29T18:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Your daily emails with inspirational quotes give me so much more than you can imagine to survive the day and make courageous decisions.</p>
<p>One of those decisions was to write off extended family. They were destroying my marriage and the relationships I have with my children. They were too intrusive. They went against everything I was doing to raise my daughter to become a well adjusted woman. My parents are very controlling and have raised all 5 of their children to be just that, children!</p>
<p>I wanted to grow up and had to step away, or else my two sons wouldn't have the chance to become men. We have enough boys in men's bodies in the world and I refuse to add two more to it. In the beginning, it was hard. When you know and I mean really know you are doing the right thing...No matter how hard it is, you JUST DO IT. Especially when your children are affected.</p>
<p>I just wanted you to know it hasn't been easy but it's been one of the best and grown-up decisions I have made in my life. Thank you Dr. Laura for all your common sense support. You are the best!</p>
<p>Sarah<br /><br /><br /><br />How are you raising your little boys into men? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-02-29T18:58:00Z
Distraction
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Distraction/664577955012979264.html
2016-02-29T18:57:00Z
2016-02-29T18:57:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr.Laura,</p>
<p>I am a stay at home mom of a 2 year old son and 3 year old daughter. The past 2 years have been a struggle for me and I entered survival mode and didn't know how to end the cycle. I called you a few weeks ago about the fighting my kids are starting to engage in frequently. Your advice was so simple but so powerful.</p>
<p><strong>Distraction...1 simple word.</strong></p>
<p>It hit me like a ton of bricks. I needed to get out of my survival mode and become the stay at home mom that I wish I had. I am not saying the fighting instantly ended, but your advice gave me clarity on how I want to raise my kids. With engagement! I need to focus and engage. With me focusing on endless lists and chores my kids didn't have my full attention.</p>
<p>Thank you for your advice. It changed my thinking and made me want to be a better, more engaging mom. With me simply engaging in the moment, it has completely changed the tone of my home.</p>
<p>Kim<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever gotten caught up in the daily grind? Tell us how you broke out, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-02-29T18:57:00Z
2nd Marriages: From The Perspective Of The Child
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/2nd-Marriages:-From-The-Perspective-Of-The-Child/46252683374474747.html
2016-02-26T18:58:00Z
2016-02-26T18:58:00Z
<p><span><br /></span>Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was listening today and all I seemed to hear was call after call from unhappy wives in their second marriages, with kids. I was one of those kids. <br /><br />My mom died when I was 9. My dad remarried when I was 12, to a woman with 4 of her own kids. I met them all at the wedding. Needless to say, it sucked. That one lasted 3 years. My brother, sister and I got our stuff and moved. We had a great time when it was just the 4 of us. My Brother went off to school, my sister moved out, then dad and I married another lady. She had 2 kids and it only lasted 6 months. Dad and I packed our stuff and moved out. It was just my dad and I for while. After a short time he began to talk about marrying again.<br /><br />By that time, I had enough and moved out of the house. I got a job and went to college! I am now 58. My dad and sister have passed away. I listen to you because I love you. I listen to these idiots that call after dragging their kids thru hell and I scream a little inside. <br /><br />Thank you for spreading the word to take care of your children before thinking about dating! <br /><br />Biggest Fan,<br /><br />Jennifer<br /><br /><br /><br />Did you grow up in a broken home? Tell us how it effected you, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-02-26T18:58:00Z
Taking Care Of Business
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-Care-Of-Business/-529246583172245803.html
2016-02-26T18:57:00Z
2016-02-26T18:57:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My 17-year-old niece was going to the homecoming dance with a male friend and two other couples. My sister and I dropped her off at a parent's house, so we could meet the boy and his mother. <br /><br />When my niece introduced me to the boy, I slid up to him and put my arm around his shoulder. Then, smiling like The "<em>Don</em>" in a <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068646/" target="_blank">Godfather movie</a>, I said, "I've known this young lady since the moment she entered this world. I expect you to have her home safely by midnight". Then, while squeezing this football player's shoulder with ever increasing pressure, I continued, "...I have lots of money...AND I know people..." <br /><br />I swear I don't know what came over me! It was as though I was possessed. Partly, it's just in my nature. I don't really panic in emergency situations. I'm a doctor, and once, at a duplicate bridge tournament, I successfully defibrillated & resuscitated a man in full cardiac arrest. Then I went back to the table to make my 4 spades contract. <br /><br />Thanks for clarifying for me that I'm truly alpha male and for supporting me when I "<em>take care of business</em>". <br /><br />Jerry<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you "take care of business" when your child goes on a date? Tell us how, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-02-26T18:57:00Z
It Takes Two To Tango
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Takes-Two-To-Tango/511770779073923104.html
2016-02-25T18:58:00Z
2016-02-25T18:58:00Z
<p><span><br /></span>Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am long-time, loyal podcast listener all the way from Santiago, Chile! I was listening to a November podcast where a grandmother called in with a "daughter-in-law problem". She expressed her angst regarding her her daughter-in-law working outside the home and consequently placing her grand babies in daycare. <br /><br />You clarified and explained that her problem was with her SON. He chose a woman with whom TOGETHER, they chose to abandon their children into institutionalized daycare. You went on to describe how you would have frequent discussions with your boy as he was growing up; about the importance of choosing a woman who held the same values as he did.<br /><br />I actually do the same thing with my boys! They are currently 7 and 9. I remember bursting with pride as I overheard my oldest explain to my mother that he will NOT be getting married in his 20's because chances are he'll end up choosing a wife based on how pretty she is and not based on the important stuff - like whether she'll be a good mom to their children and a good wife to him!<br /><br />Here's hoping you don't retire anytime soon at the very least, please wait until my boys are out of their teenage years! <br /><br />Regards, <br /><br />Penny<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Is it harder raising boys into little men OR raising girls into little ladies? Tell us what you think, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-02-25T18:58:00Z
My Husband Loves You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husband-Loves-You/-323556381557800707.html
2016-02-25T18:57:00Z
2016-02-25T18:57:00Z
<p><span><br /></span>Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just want to say that I thank you so much for your wisdom. You are a very strong and courageous woman. Due to hormones, sometimes it is hard to listen to your program while being 5 months pregnant. Hearing what people go through, I often find myself crying with you during the show. <br /><br />You are such a wonderful person to listen to each day as I work! My husband even loves you. He loves your insight. Thanks to you, we have a better marriage. I have started to properly feed my husband because of you. <br /><br />Keep your head up and keep telling us to do the right thing! You are really making a huge difference in the lives of so many listeners. <br /><br />Your faithful listener, <br /><br />Heather<br /><br /><br /><br />What makes you emotional during pregnancy? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-02-25T18:57:00Z
Devotion, Patience & Commitment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Devotion,-Patience--Commitment/-708946419788600732.html
2016-02-24T18:58:00Z
2016-02-24T18:58:00Z
<p><span><br /></span>I think that attraction and chemistry are real and purposeful. If we didn't have that initial animal instinct and attraction NO ONE would ever get married.<br /><br />However, people tend to think that feeling is permanent. When a long term relationship loses that 'feeling' and matures into something else, they think the relationship is over. The TRUTH is, that's when the real love, the real lasting relationship is just starting! <br /><br />Some people - too many - don't hang around long enough to enjoy and LIVE that part of a lasting marriage with their spouse. THAT's the part that takes devotion, patience, commitment, WORK and never giving up! I'm married almost 30 years - it's not easy but it's SO worth it! <br />Linda<br /><br /><br /><br />What do you think about getting those butterflies in your tummy? Tell us what you think lasting love is, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-02-24T18:58:00Z
A Frog Is A Frog
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Frog-Is-A-Frog/291544995591698656.html
2016-02-24T18:57:00Z
2016-02-24T18:57:00Z
<p><span><br /></span><br />I tell my 1st grade girls that the story of the '<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Frog_Prince" target="_blank">Frog Prince</a>' is wrong. No matter how many times you kiss a frog they will ALWAYS be a frog. <br /><br />So when dating, if you can't live the other person's warts, leave promptly and go to another lily pad. You can't love away another person's short comings. People only change things when they are motivated to change. <br /><br />One must decide, before marriage, if another person's short comings are something they can live with forever. <br /><br />Cheryl<br /><br /><br /><br />What do you tell your kidlets about dating? Tell us why, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-02-24T18:57:00Z
Decide on Parenting Style BEFORE The Baby
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Decide-on-Parenting-Style-BEFORE-The-Baby/-761549617426186808.html
2016-02-23T18:58:00Z
2016-02-23T18:58:00Z
<p><span><br />When it comes to holding your kids accountable, it is extremely important that the parents are a united front. <br /><br /> It is totally useless when one parent is always following through, or trying to follow through when the other parent is inconsistent. All this does is undo the work of the other parent. This also tends to make them the bad guy in the eyes of the child. <br /><br /> This is one topic of discussion that is a MUST when couples date. They need to compare views on child rearing and their styles of discipline.</span><br /><br />Lorie<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you think styles of discipline should be discussed while dating? Tell us why, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-02-23T18:58:00Z
My Light In The Darkness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Light-In-The-Darkness/-290703639780497181.html
2016-02-23T18:57:00Z
2016-02-23T18:57:00Z
<p>I have to admit, for years I was a skeptic when it comes to your advice given via Facebook. However, the advice you have posted since I started following has been very helpful, insightful and encouraging. <br /><br />I have gone through tough times in my life but the most recent has been the worst so far. Your posts have helped me get a grip on myself, get out of bed and regain some control over my life, choices, and decisions. I am still overwhelmed but am working towards breaking down this huge mass into pieces so that I can deal with it better and forward. <br /><br />Thank you for the help you have provided and shining some light into the darkness. <br /><br />Gene<br /><br /><br /><br />Who has shined a light in the darkness for you? Tell us who, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-02-23T18:57:00Z
Being Nice Changed Everything
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-Nice-Changed-Everything/721010695826271567.html
2016-02-22T18:58:00Z
2016-02-22T18:58:00Z
<p><br />For a long time, I was mean to everyone around me; holding such high expectations and quick to point out mistakes of others around me. When I finally decided to be nice to myself, everything changed. My expectations of others disappeared. I started to see blessings instead of mistakes. <br /><br />Now, I'm able to look up to take in a breath taking view, enjoy my cup of coffee in the morning, and laugh at all my family's silliness. When people are not happy with themselves they spread it to others and alienate themselves. When you're in such a deep hole of negativity it is hard to see how beautiful the world is. <br /><br />My first reaction is to not take it personally. I try to understand the bigger picture. However, if it is someone I care deeply about, I let the person know they are being mean by expressing my feelings to them. If they care about you too, they will acknowledge your feelings.</p>
<p>Sarah<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you deal with people who are mean? Tell us how you did it, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-02-22T18:58:00Z
No Excuse Kind Of Lady
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-Excuse-Kind-Of-Lady/-735263886027663200.html
2016-02-22T18:57:00Z
2016-02-22T18:57:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dr Laura, <br /><br />I admire you. I have been listening to you for close to a year now. I was lucky enough to get a new car and discovered you! You are a no excuse kinda lady. Your living life to its fullest and now I'm going to start. <br /><br />Instead of sulking and complaining of my problems I'm going to solve them. If you can look this good and be that fit at 69, then at 43, I can TOO! Just ordered my treadmill so I can listen to you and get in shape the right way. <br /><br />Christa</p>
<br />
<p><br />How are you changing today to make a better tomorrow for yourself? Tell us how you did it, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-02-22T18:57:00Z
Keeping My Nose Out Of It
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-My-Nose-Out-Of-It/-862937416507669740.html
2016-02-19T18:58:00Z
2016-02-19T18:58:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>I am my sons mother. When he first got married, I told them I do not want to know about any of their disagreements. <strong>Do not seek my opinion. </strong></p>
<p>My son, in his wisdom, told me if I have a disagreement with his wife to tell him and he will talk to her. She talks to him about a disagreement she may have with me. He knows and understands why we might think the way we do. He does not have the same emotion. We do not hold grudges.</p>
<p>They have now been married 16 for years and I think he has a great wife! Thanks so much for all you do. Just wanted to share.</p>
<p>Have a great day,</p>
<p>Cici</p>
<br />
<p><br />Have you ever had to give out tough love? Tell us how you did it, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-02-19T18:58:00Z
Choosing To Count The Blessings I DO have
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Choosing-To-Count-The-Blessings-I-DO-have/-349821896544052420.html
2016-02-19T18:57:00Z
2016-02-19T18:57:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura,
<p>I choose to count my my blessings. While I would never have chosen our current location as a place to live, I must say that the winters are usually beautiful. We even had the pleasure of a nice rain and cold weather. I loved it. I also loved that we have a nice warm and cozy house and a warm and comfortable bed to sleep in.</p>
<p>The more I think about all the things we do have, the less I think about what we don't have!</p>
<p>Laurie</p>
<p> </p>
<p>What are you grateful for? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-02-19T18:57:00Z
Worth Standing Up For
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Worth-Standing-Up-For/893452202718547197.html
2016-02-18T18:58:00Z
2016-02-18T18:58:00Z
<p><br />I've never stood up for myself, until yesterday. I stood up to my parents and set clear boundaries. I even told my Mom that her bahavior is hurtful. They were shocked at my boldness. <br /><br />When I got off the phone a part of me felt like I was going to throw up. The other part of me felt like I earned a piece of my self esteem. My strong, supportive husband was next to me the whole time, reassuring me that I was worth sticking up for. Even though I should expect nothing to change, he was the most proud of me that he has ever been in all our time together; because I showed some guts and finally put myself and my family first. <br /><br />He told me that I shouldn't feel guilt for having my own life and expecting others treat me with kindness. Thank you Dr. Laura, for being my biggest support and role model. Because of you, I'm going to do this motherhood thing right...the first time. I now realize there are no do-overs.<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever hand to stand up for yourself? Tell us how you did it, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2016-02-18T18:58:00Z
Dad To The Rescue
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dad-To-The-Rescue/-741856444346145782.html
2016-02-18T18:57:00Z
2016-02-18T18:57:00Z
<p><span><br />Dr. Laura,</span></p>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1455757705115_61340">Boy, are you going to like this dad! I saw this article and just had to share. <br /><br />
<p><strong><a href="http://conservativetribune.com/bullies-young-girl-dad-legend/" target="_blank">Bullies Think Its A Good Idea To Pick On Young Girl… Then They Realize Her Dad Is Real-Life LEGEND</a></strong></p>
<br />And the dad's article:</div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1455757705115_61354"><a id="yui_3_16_0_1_1455757705115_61353" rel="nofollow" href="https://38pitches.wordpress.com/2015/03/01/the-world-we-live-in-man-has-it-changed/" target="_blank">
<p><strong>The World We Live In…Man Has It Changed. ADDENDUM!</strong></p>
</a></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1455757705115_61358"><br />Enjoy!<br /><br />A long-time listener and my 7 kids' mom,</div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1455757705115_61360"><br />Jackie</div>
<br /><br /><br />How do the men in your life protect you? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-02-18T18:57:00Z
Where Have The Men Gone?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Where-Have-The-Men-Gone/55232385064579968.html
2016-02-17T18:58:00Z
2016-02-17T18:58:00Z
<p><br /><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody _1n4g">Most men don't like to be treated as walking ATMs & sperm donors. This is one reason why more men are refusing to marry and some of those refusing to marry are also avoiding fatherhood. <br /><br />They do not want to pledge sexual and social fidelity in front of witnesses. On a higher level, the thought of signing a legal document that obligates them to share at least half of their income and/or make ongoing payments (should the relationship end) is daunting. <br /><br />Choosing wisely and treating kindly is essential. It will USUALLY works out if you do. There are exceptions, such as if some trauma changes your spouse's mentality for worse and they become abusive, dangerous, or destructive. I will also add that we can USUALLY choose wisely. Being together long enough, discussing, observing, and getting counseling before marriage will USUALLY work. <br /><br />There ARE a few people who can hide who they truly are long enough to get married, and often long enough to have kids. If it weren't so, there would be no such thing as spies/double agents or law enforcement using undercover infiltrators.</span></span></span></p>
Dave<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you treat the men in your life? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-02-17T18:58:00Z
Think, Before You Believe
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Think,-Before-You-Believe/-104528338184771930.html
2016-02-17T18:57:00Z
2016-02-17T18:57:00Z
<p><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody"><br />Everybody is entitled to their opinions. One thing I have learned is to ask myself if there is any truth to what someone says. <br /><br />If someone bases an opinion on what someone else says and they do not have all the facts, just give them a dismissive wave. Sometimes other peoples' opinions are not even worth the space in your brain.<br /><br />Just my thoughts. Thanks for the daily reminder to stick to the facts!<br /><br /></span></span></span>Lorie</p>
<br /><br /><br />Do you have a friend in your life that gossips? Tell us how you handle your friendship,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-02-17T18:57:00Z
Through the Microscope or Telescope?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Through-the-Microscope-or-Telescope/831425663056130863.html
2016-02-16T18:58:00Z
2016-02-16T18:58:00Z
<p><br />When one looks at love through a microscope, they are looking to break the other person down. To see if they are good enough. <br /><br />When love is looked at through a telescope, the two gaze out to the future together. Knowing the other is more than enough, no criticism or judgment imposed.<br /><br />Gwen </p>
<br /><br />How do you view love? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-02-16T18:58:00Z
Society's Acceptance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Societys-Acceptance/511508337302421569.html
2016-02-16T18:57:00Z
2016-02-16T18:57:00Z
<p><br />Hopefully your friends, family, and society won't stand by and watch you struggle; as they pat themselves on the back for not being in the hole themselves. <br /><br />I am extremely lucky to have supportive friends and family. I do worry about our society's acceptance of greed and power as an excuse to not help the unfortunate.<br /><br /> Any of us could be in the hole and need help tomorrow! <br /><br />Just a reminder...Thank you for all you do.<br /><br />Stacy</p>
<br /><br /><br />How do you support your family? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-02-16T18:57:00Z
Valentines Day Is About Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Valentines-Day-Is-About-Love/186975088994512144.html
2016-02-12T18:58:00Z
2016-02-12T18:58:00Z
<br /><span><span><span class="UFICommentBody">I've always loved Valentine's Day whether I was in a relationship or not. When not, I become my own love and I pamper myself. <br /><br />Another person does not determine whether or not I am loved. It's a great day to remind people that they are loved too!<br /><br /></span></span></span>Polly<br /><br /><br />How are you spending Valentines Day? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-02-12T18:58:00Z
Safety First
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Safety-First/826106968642211331.html
2016-02-12T18:57:00Z
2016-02-12T18:57:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />We don't do what most couples do, but it shows me that we love each other. Today we took an 8 mile hike together. That is all I need. My husband shows me every single day how much he loves me, by bringing me coffee. <br /><br />It doesn't stop there either, he continues by washing the dishes every night and making sure that I always drive a clean car. To top that off, he even ensures that I always have gas in my car.<br /><br />He looks after my safety and my welfare. That's our love. <br /><br /><br />How do you show your spouse that you love them? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-02-12T18:57:00Z
Preaching to Myself
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Preaching-to-Myself/60926180621598068.html
2016-02-11T18:58:00Z
2016-02-11T18:58:00Z
<br /><br />We can never control what others do....on the other hand, we, ourselves ALWAYS have a choice of how we respond. <br /><br />Be it by distancing ourselves, or figuratively, not giving the keys. It's always our choice how WE respond.<br /><br /> Sometimes it's as simple as doing an <em>about face</em> and running, as fast as one can. Other times, it's giving grace and mercy to those who give us none. <br /><br />And for the record...this is me, preaching to me.<br /><br /><br />How do you exercise self-control? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-02-11T18:58:00Z
Washing Away The Stress
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Washing-Away-The-Stress/437267414515264351.html
2016-02-11T18:57:00Z
2016-02-11T18:57:00Z
<br /><br />My secret for getting rid of stress is to turn my music on loud in the bathroom, hop in the shower, sing at the top of my lungs; then dance around until I am all dressed and ready. <br /><br />My husband was in the Navy for 28 years, and now, without a job and we have 3 kids. I have had more than my fair share of stress. Doing this just washes it all away and makes is much easier to face the day. <br /><br />Life is good! <br /><br /><br /><br />What do you do to make the day a little easier? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-02-11T18:57:00Z
No Other Feeling In The World Like Motherhood
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-Other-Feeling-In-The-World-Like-Motherhood/157463664145892455.html
2016-02-10T18:58:00Z
2016-02-10T18:58:00Z
<br />The moment I realized I was pregnant, my life became my baby's life. Absolutely anything that could be detrimental to her, I avoided like the plague. I prayed for her, sang, read and talked to her every day. It was amazing! <br /><br />When she was born, I fell completely and utterly lost in love with her. I couldn't stop looking at her, in amazement. There was no other feeling like it in the world...until three years later when my son was born. I am beyond blessed <br /><br />Thank you for all you do!<br /><br />Veronica<br /> <br /><br />When did you fall in love with your child? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-02-10T18:58:00Z
Changing Gears, After Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-Gears,-After-Children/255986860091249959.html
2016-02-10T18:57:00Z
2016-02-10T18:57:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Now that I have children, I decided that I needed to revise the definitions of some of my favorite hobbies. I just wanted to share my new and improved way of thinking.<br /><br />
<ul>
<li><strong><em>Sleeping in:</em> </strong>Sleeping until 7am</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><strong><em>Being out late:</em></strong> Staying out past 9pm</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><strong><em>Me time:</em></strong> Sleeping or using the bathroom...without kids</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><em><strong>Fun:</strong></em> peek-a-boo and hide-and-seek</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><strong><em>Appropriate conversation topics:</em></strong> Poopy diapers and vomit </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><strong><em>Acceptable clothing for shopping:</em></strong> anything that fits</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><strong><em>Housework:</em></strong> Clean enough to have a healthy and safe environment for my family</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><strong><em>Favorite section to shop: </em></strong>Little girls clothes!!</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><strong><em>Love: </em></strong>I love my husband more than I thought possible as I see him excel at fatherhood! I love my children in a way I didn't think I was cable of!</li>
</ul>
<p>Enjoy!</p>
Jane<br /><br />How has your life changed since having children? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-02-10T18:57:00Z
Staying Focused...One Day At A Time
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Staying-Focused...One-Day-At-A-Time/-26335181961333133.html
2016-02-09T18:58:00Z
2016-02-09T18:58:00Z
<br />My oldest son needed some words of encouragement and prayer a few years ago so I posted this for him:<br />
<blockquote><em>"Don't lose sight of the goal. <br />Don't be distracted by things that will knock you off center. <br />Stay focused, be strong, be brave and most of all be honest with yourself! <br />Look forward to the future because that is where you will live, make it a good one...One day at a time."</em></blockquote>
<br /><br />What do you say when you see a family member needs a boost? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-02-09T18:58:00Z
I Plan To Stay A Hot Momma
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Plan-To-Stay-A-Hot-Momma/542463003212678758.html
2016-02-09T18:57:00Z
2016-02-09T18:57:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura: <br /><br />I've been thinking about a woman I heard on your podcast who said she was an 'old lady', because she is 65 years old. How sad. <br /><br />I'm 54 and I'm looking forward to going out with my husband for a Valentine's dinner. I'm wearing a sleeveless black sparkly dress. My hubby says I look "Hot". And I believe him! <br />I plan to keep looking "Hot" for many more years. <br /><br />My mother had her children late in life, she's now 97. She goes to fitness classes three times a week and walks the other days. She drove herself everywhere, until she was in her early 90's. She is my role model! <br /><br />Love your show <br /><br />Jane<br /><br /><br />Who is your role model? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-02-09T18:57:00Z
I Am My Dad's Son
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Am-My-Dads-Son/-822630646301755420.html
2016-02-08T18:58:00Z
2016-02-08T18:58:00Z
<br />The thing I always admired the most about my dad was his work ethic. He was up very early in the morning to work all day, everyday. He never complained about having to work. He truly enjoyed what he did, understood the purpose behind it and understood his place on his team.<br /><br /> I've modeled this for my own children. I pay special attention to the part about finding out what you like to do, and doing THAT WELL. I have so much fun at my job, because I love what I do, and I work with an incredible team of people....I rarely feel like I'm actually working. Just had to share my secret to enjoying my job.<br /><br />Dave<br /><br /><br />What makes you enjoy your job? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-02-08T18:58:00Z
You're My Secret!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Youre-My-Secret!/105956930759723408.html
2016-02-08T18:57:00Z
2016-02-08T18:57:00Z
<br />Here is my a little story about how you have impacted our marriage. My husband was talking with a group of coworkers one day (all men) and they were complaining about their wives. <br /><br />One of the co workers looked at my husband and said, "You are the ONLY one here that likes your wife. What is the deal?" <br /><br />He came home and told me the story. I got all warm and fuzzy inside and knew my secret....YOU. <br /><br />Thanks Dr. Laura!!!!<br /><br />Teri<br /><br /><br />P. S. For valentines day we each made our own card to each other.....<em><strong>PRICELESS</strong></em>. <br /><br /><br /><br />What's your secret weapon to a good marriage? Share it with us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-02-08T18:57:00Z
My Kingdom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Kingdom/446634433829501871.html
2016-02-05T18:58:00Z
2016-02-05T18:58:00Z
<br />My step mom sent me a poem I wrote as a teen, that she found in storage and just sent it to me. I'm now 44, with 11 children that I stay home with them. I used to listen to you often as a teen and loved your show as much as I do now. <br /><br /><br />"My Kingdom"<br /><br />You may close the door upon me and think when you are gone, "Poor thing, she's stuck at home all day" - How wrong, my dear, how wrong. <br /><br />"I am queen of my own castle", I said with such a sway, "for I decide what things will fill the hours of my day."<br /><br /> There are diapers, true, and work that must be done. <br /><br />But children keep me company and can make it sometimes fun. <br /><br />I can take a walk with baby, whenever I may please. <br /><br />And watch the robins peck for worms and taste the sweet spring breeze. <br /><br />Or I may sit by the window - Dr. Laura book on my knee. <br /><br />Or wonder strange enchanted dreams of worlds that used to be. <br /><br />I've clothes to mend and tears to dry. Toys strewn across the floor. <br /><br />But I have children's laughter, too. Who could ask for more? <br /><br />You came home to me, dear, tired - from a world that is cold. <br /><br />And I have angel cheeks to kiss and golden hands to hold. <br /><br />And little arms around my neck and whispers in my ear. <br /><br />Your world outside my kingdom walls, can't hold such treasures, dear. <br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a poem you'd like us to read? Share it with us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-02-05T18:58:00Z
Candy Gram
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Candy-Gram/-249277486362183709.html
2016-02-05T18:57:00Z
2016-02-05T18:57:00Z
<br />Hi Dr Laura, <br /><br />I am a HUGE fan and just had to share this valentine candy gram I made for my awesome husband. He is retiring next week from his 33 year long career to do something more meaningful. That's why I have the "pay day" thing on there. <br /><br />Love you, love your show, I listen to you everyday while I paint in my studio. Happy Valentines Day from a loyal listener.<br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/fbodzhvqtaa (800x800).jpg" alt="" width="800" height="800" /><br /><br />How do you spoil your spouse? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-02-05T18:57:00Z
Put The Phone Down
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Put-The-Phone-Down/478724179191820514.html
2016-02-04T18:58:00Z
2016-02-04T18:58:00Z
<br />Hi Dr Laura, <br /><br />I've had the great privilege of growing up listening to you since I was about 10 years old. My parents were fans and lived as an example of choosing wisely and treating kindly. They always raised us with morals, principles, and a lifestyle the aligns with what you teach every day on the air. I am now my kids mom. I am my husband's girlfriend. I am a loyal friend and a confident adult and master mom juggler, for those little eyes watching me, and a woman they could be proud to call mom. <br /><br />I came across this video that brought tears to my eyes. There are too many moments that go missed due to screen distraction and childhoods that are getting lost in the online vortex of digital babysitters. <a href="http://themetapicture.com/if-this-doesnt-convince-you/" target="_blank">Click here if you would like to watch.</a><br /><br />Thank you for being a voice of reason in an illogical world and reminding families that marriage, motherhood, and manners still matter. I'm grateful for you and your podcast. I listen every day and never miss a show. I can only hope and practice to be a great mom like you someday.<br /><br /> Thank you for all you do. <br /><br />Your loyal listener <br /><br />Kristin<br /><br /><br /><br />Is technology hurting your marriage? Tell us how,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-02-04T18:58:00Z
Buddy System
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Buddy-System/-196895411117595185.html
2016-02-04T18:57:00Z
2016-02-04T18:57:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I want to give you some advice you can share with your listeners. My advice is this, if you come from an abusive family and think or feel that family get together are horrible places to be, then always ask if you can if you can bring a friend. <br /><br />When I am around my family for any amount of time, it's totally possible that a family member will behave in a way that is consistent with the old "family stories". Often, its hurtful and aimed at me. When I do bring a friend with me, everything changes. <br /><br />I find it amazing how much easier it is to protect myself. I can also use it as a deflect attention away from myself, so I am not an easy target or nearly as vulnerable. <br /><br />So, when in doubt, always bring a friend! It works for me. <br /><br />Sincerely,<br /> <br />Jean<br /><br /><br /><br />What's your personal rule? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-02-04T18:57:00Z
When Trust Has Been Broken
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-Trust-Has-Been-Broken/799254767486394255.html
2016-02-03T18:58:00Z
2016-02-03T18:58:00Z
<br />When the trust has been broken in a relationship, the respect disappears. Everything becomes suspect. <br /><br />After the trust has been shattered, the injured spouse does not trust the decision making of the other. Even if the two decide to 'forgive' and move forward there is still deep seated hurt and resentment. The injured spouse has to make the choice to move forward. If the spouse refuses to move forward the unspoken resentment will silently rear it's head whenever another issue comes up.<br /> <br />Agree <strong>before</strong> the disagreement, that neither will try to slay the other, while making their case. <br /><br />Dawn<br /><br /><br />Have you ever tried to repair trust in a relationship? Tell us how you succeeded or failed,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-02-03T18:58:00Z
Best Decision I've Made
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Best-Decision-Ive-Made/449050572841576374.html
2016-02-03T18:57:00Z
2016-02-03T18:57:00Z
<br />One of my dearest girl friends introduced me to her brother. We were inseparable and dated for the next 6 years.<br /><br />I thought we were perfect together, however, he would not commit to anything. I couldn't even get him to commit to an evening, let alone anything else. Eventually, I discovered his secret. He actually had another girlfriend! I had become self destructive over the 6 years that I was with him, that I needed to think very seriously about my next move. I decided to move away and get a fresh start. <br /><br />Wouldn't you know, I met my current husband 6 months later. We have been married for an amazing 10 years. It was the best thing I could have done for myself! <br /><br /><br />Have you ever uncovered a secret affair in a relationship? Tell us how you handled yourself,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-02-03T18:57:00Z
I Made The Choice...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Made-The-Choice.../45237934189186911.html
2016-02-02T18:58:00Z
2016-02-02T18:58:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />Sometimes we need to get to a point, that we have had enough. No one can make us do anything unless we willingly choose. It's all about choices. <br /><br />I am a survivor of a 12 year long domestic violence relationship. In the end he almost killed me. Even still, I felt guilty for leaving. As if somehow I was going to hurt him. Once I was able to let go and come to realization that I was done and I deserved more out of life, I finally stopped looking back. Even after I left, it took a very long time to let go. <br /><br />Once I let go, I had to forgive. It took me 4 Years to forgive. It's a process and we each have a choice to make. The 1st choice starts within us. It's the choice we make when we have decided enough is enough. Don't forget time is not your friend... we are not getting any younger. Even if you think you have a "safe" plan, I am here to tell you it never happens the way we planned. You need to be more mentally prepared. Prepared to understand it will get worse before it gets better. But 4 years latter, I am here to tell you- I am the best I could ever be, because I made the choice to walk away.<br /><br /> Jill<br /><br /><br />Have you ever had to make a hard decision? Tell us about it,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-02-02T18:58:00Z
Unrealistic Expectations?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Unrealistic-Expectations/729562020910737835.html
2016-02-02T18:57:00Z
2016-02-02T18:57:00Z
<br />We set ourselves up for disappointment when we let our happiness depend on unrealistic expectations of people. <br /><br />Life is way better when you're able to create your own happiness by yourself and then appreciate people for whoever they truly are. It's exhausting wasting your time being upset about shattered hopes that you probably had no business having in the first place. P<br /><br /><br />How do you create your own happiness? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-02-02T18:57:00Z
Now We Understand
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Now-We-Understand/439543037245945456.html
2016-02-01T18:58:00Z
2016-02-01T18:58:00Z
<br /><span>I had a hard time setting boundaries with my mother in law. She was very attached to my husband and had a hard time when we were married. <br /><br />In time, my husband and I both distanced ourselves from her for a few years. In those three years, we went to counseling and read the relationship books together. We drew closer to each other every day. We learned how to put each other first! <br /><br />Now we understand how to set boundaries to always make our marriage come first. Our in-laws are even back in our lives and everything is great! </span><br /><br /><br />What have you had to do in order to keep peace in the family? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-02-01T18:58:00Z
It's Good To Cry Sometimes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Good-To-Cry-Sometimes/-240007622333739980.html
2016-02-01T18:57:00Z
2016-02-01T18:57:00Z
<br />When I feel down, first I explore why I feel down. I let myself feel whatever the feelings are that created that sense of wanting to cry. <br /><br />After I acknowledge the source of my feelings, I can address the root cause. Whatever is could be causing me to feel down, whether it be exercise, need for communication, food, etc, if I take the time to think, it helps. <br /><br />It also allows me to usually jump right back in to feeling like myself. But, sometimes I just need to cry out the grief or pain and then I'm good! It's ok to just let it out. <br /><br />Jen<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you make yourself feel better when you're down? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-02-01T18:57:00Z
Love Each Other
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Love-Each-Other/219650751846338148.html
2016-01-29T18:58:00Z
2016-01-29T18:58:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I married the most wonderful man in existence. I was 18, he was 26. We were engaged after a month and married 3 months after that. I love my husband more than the day we said "I do!" It was the smartest move I have ever made. We have 3 amazing children. One of them is studying medicine, another is studying political science, and our daughter is autistic. She drives, works, and is starting college in the spring. <br /><br />Maybe I'm just the exception to the rule. Marriage is NOT work! What do people do when they "work" on their marriage? <br /><br />It's simple, here's the secret to a successful marriage: <br /><ol>
<li>You LOVE each other. </li>
<br />
<li>You support each other emotionally. </li>
<br />
<li>Communicate! Communicate! </li>
<br />
<li>Try to give MORE than your share. </li>
<br />
<li>When you hit bad times, you support each other and DO NOT tear each other down. </li>
<br />
<li>Be honest with each other and with yourself. </li>
<br />
<li><strong>LOVE EACH OTHER!!! </strong></li>
</ol><br />If you can't do those things, you have no business being married. <br /><br /><br /><br />What do you think are the ingredients to a successful marriage? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-29T18:58:00Z
'This Is Your Life'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/This-Is-Your-Life/852816992021950527.html
2016-01-29T18:57:00Z
2016-01-29T18:57:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I caught some of your show yesterday and I felt as if it was on "This Is Your Life"! It seemed as if every call applied to me, personally! I wanted to say that you, as usual, answered each of these particular calls dead-on! <br /><br />My mom dragged my sisters and I through 10 years of discord with our father; forcing us to treat him terribly for no good reason. You're were so right - it caused us all to have serious "man" issues. Never once, has she accepted any responsibility for her part in the demise of their marriage. This was no example at all of a good wife, for me to try to emulate. <br /><br />Thanks for the personalized show yesterday, it was uncanny, yet refreshing to see how many of our experiences are so similar! <br /><br /><br />Have you ever heard a show that you related to? Which one was it? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-29T18:57:00Z
Finally Validated
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finally-Validated/986396721910222726.html
2016-01-28T18:58:00Z
2016-01-28T18:58:00Z
<br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have listened to you for about 15 years. I want to share a positive story, one in which I was finally validated by your book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Bad-Childhood-Good-Life-Blossom-Childhood/dp/0060577878" target="_blank"><em>"Bad Childhood, Good Life</em></a>". I grew up in a very abusive home by a very abusive mother. She told me a story of how she didn't want me. She didn't name me until I was several days old and didn't hold me until then either. She finally held me, on the word of her brother. She only named me for him. When I was 4 she sent me to live with my great Aunt. <br /><br />After 4 years, she remarried. Even though she was remarried, I wanted my Aunt adopt me. My father would not allow the adoption. I went back to live with my mom, my new stepfather and siblings. I was treated like Cinderella from then on. I took on every extra-curricular activity I could at school, to be away from home as much as I could. <br /><br />I want you to know that when I finally read your book, I finally felt validated that what my mother did abuse. I knew what I went thru was not right, but I always felt alone in this. <br /><br />Thank you for writing this book! It helped me heal. Better late than never. I am a mother of 2 sons and never let my mother near them. I lived 3,000 miles away while raising them so they wouldn't suffer negativity from her. I am glad I did. They are now good fathers and husbands. I am proud of them. I put myself in counseling when my boys were small but your book was the best medicine in the end. I still listen to you each day. Thank you.<br /><br /><br />Have you ever been treated bad and not realized until later? What made you realize what was happening and how did you change it? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-28T18:58:00Z
My Sister And My Shadow
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Sister-And-My-Shadow/-566707876279118537.html
2016-01-28T18:57:00Z
2016-01-28T18:57:00Z
<br />You asked if listeners ever felt they were in the shadow of another sibling. <br /><br />I grew up the "star" and my poor sister was the shadow. She was constantly compared to my grades, athleticism, morals, etc. It was devastating for her. She is extremely smart but since she felt that she couldn't live up to my stellar example, she never went to college and became addicted to drugs. <br /><br />Being the star wasn't great either, I felt under constant pressure to be perfect. Obviously, I wasn't. I learned a lot from the way my parents parented. Basically I learned to do it completely differently. And I do. I recognize that my children are very different and that each have gifts and skills that I need to encourage. I have an A student, Type A athlete and a B student, easygoing, artist. <br /><br />Thank you for all you do, Dr. Laura! You helped me pick a wonderful husband that is nothing like my father. And you help me be not try a good wife and mother. <br /><br />Keep up the nagging!! <br /><br />Megan<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever been treated differently than other family members? How did you handle the situation? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-28T18:57:00Z
Find Yourself, Without The Boyfriend
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Find-Yourself,-Without-The-Boyfriend/612672395680325440.html
2016-01-27T18:58:00Z
2016-01-27T18:58:00Z
<br />I had watched a television program where they suggested that you ask your man, 'What is your vision for us, for our future?'. The idea was to get him to open up and share his dreams with you. <br /><br />While on vacation in Napa Valley, I asked my boyfriend of about 8 months, what his vision was for us. His answer? <em>"I don't see a vision of a future for us." </em><br /><br />I was totally stunned and taken off guard. Looking back, he was right, we were VERY mismatched. But now we were stuck on vacation for 3 more days together. Each day was so incredibly painful until we could fly home. I cried non stop. Once I arrived home and said goodbye to him, decided on a 2 week "break" with no contact. Just to be sure I didn't go back to a bad situation. It was time to re-find myself without the boyfriend.<br /><br />The next time he called, I told him I wanted 2 weeks with no contact and he was very surprised. A couple of weeks later, I knew life was better without him. I missed him, but I had already found my way again. I realized I did NOT want to date someone who had already determined there was no future for us. <br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever been stuck on vacation while fighting with relatives or your spouse? Tell us what happened,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-27T18:58:00Z
Show And Tell
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Show-And-Tell/-542718239543330517.html
2016-01-27T18:57:00Z
2016-01-27T18:57:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just wanted to thank you for your 'make your house a home' ideas! It's because of you, we now have Sunday show and tell nights and it brings the whole family together. We also tell stories about our past and special things in our life. <br /><br />It helps our kids see their parents in a different light. One special night, I even came out in my wedding dress one night for show and tell. It was a hoot! Our son was in the hospital today for a bad fall he had at the pool. As they were prepping him for stitches, he was bragging to the doctor that he has show and tell with his parents and sister every Sunday. He was excited to announce to the doctor that there were only 4 more days until the next show and tell night. <br /><br />I appreciate you always giving us ideas on how to bond us as a family. <br /><br />Kammy<br /><br /><br /><br />How does your family have fun together? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-27T18:57:00Z
Memories Of Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Memories-Of-Dr.-Laura/660630446400314815.html
2016-01-26T18:58:00Z
2016-01-26T18:58:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Last weekend I celebrated my 60th birthday. My daughter, who is now a mom herself and lives in another state, sent a wonderful and creative gift. Along with a lovely card and letter the old fashioned kind. She had shipped a giant box, inside were 60 tiny gift boxes. Each box was carefully lined with cotton and containing a handwritten memory. A tearjerker, yes. It took me 3 days and about 3 boxes of tissues to open them all. <br /><br />I just thought you'd like to know that one of those memories was "Dr. Laura on the radio." I've been a listener since the 1980's, when my kids were small. We haven't always agreed 110%, but obviously someone was listening! <br /><br />Linda<br /><br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/ujsyozavtscg.jpg" alt="" /><br /><br />What was the best gift you've received from a family member? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-26T18:58:00Z
I Held My Ground
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Held-My-Ground/-506083160842255573.html
2016-01-26T18:57:00Z
2016-01-26T18:57:00Z
<br />My daughter hated her 7th grade math teacher all year. He wasn't the best at teaching the children and no one seemed to like him; everyone thought he was a bad teacher. According to my 13 year old. <br /><br />I planted my seed mid-year stating, "if you get a C or lower in any one quarter.....you will make it up in summer school". I thought that would solve the problem. She ran cross country in the fall and her grades went down. Then, she participated in track and field in the spring and she eventually did get a C in her Math class. <br /><br />I held my ground and had her take a summer math class. I am a math teacher and her dad is a Civil engineer. Never once did she seek help. I will continue to hold my ground and have her serve time in the summer if she has additional excuses for the rest of the school year.<br /><br />Thank you for giving me the courage to do the right thing for my teen!<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever disliked a teacher? Tell us why,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-26T18:57:00Z
There Are No Do-Over's
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/There-Are-No-Do-Overs/233698860475915305.html
2016-01-25T18:58:00Z
2016-01-25T18:58:00Z
<br />I've never stood up for myself until yesterday. I was so proud of myself as I stood up to my parents and set clear boundaries. I told my Mom that her behavior is hurtful. They were shocked at my boldness.<br /><br /> When I got off the phone, part of me felt like I was going to throw up and the other part of me felt like I earned a part of my self-esteem. My strong, supportive husband was next to me. He was reassuring me that I was worth sticking up for. Even though I should expect nothing to change, he was the proud of me. He was more proud of me than he's ever been, in the entire 8 years we have been together. I finally showed some guts by putting myself and my family first. I should not feel guilt for having my own life and expecting others treat me with kindness. <br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura, for being my biggest support and role model. Because of you I'm going to do this motherhood thing right the first time. I now realize there are no do-overs. <br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever had a life changing moment? Tell us what happened,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-25T18:58:00Z
Paparazzi Parenting
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Paparazzi-Parenting/-493105752126394952.html
2016-01-25T18:57:00Z
2016-01-25T18:57:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was a stay at home mother and spent many hours driving my kids all over town for school, sports, activities, and social fun. My husband and I spent most of our time doing what parents do. <br /><br />We didn't expect props or praise for doing things we thought natural of parenting. This does not seem to be the case today. Parents of young children seem to think its okay to post all of their children's business on social media. It's seems as if nothing is private anymore. People cannot seem to go a day without putting private information for the world or their so called 1000 Facebook friends to see. I call it "Paparazzi Parenting". I also see spouses proclaiming their love all over social media. <br /><br />My husband and I laugh at this. We have a great marriage, but we proclaim our love in person, privately. I wonder in what will happen in 10-15 years, when these kids are older, how having their lives all over social media will have an effect on them. I have a feeling, Dr. Laura that you will be receiving many calls from frustrated young adults. <br /><br />Thank you, <br /><br />Diane <br /><br /><br />What is your stance on social media and parenting? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-25T18:57:00Z
Easier Said Than Done
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Easier-Said-Than-Done/-577521076356222247.html
2016-01-22T18:58:00Z
2016-01-22T18:58:00Z
<br />I'm sitting here listening to your program and I believe and you just got upset with some lady using the phrase, "<em>easier said than done</em>". <br /><br />My husband is a very funny man and would joke with his father about the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gB8ewAdhY7Q" target="_blank">hotel commercials with "Captain Obvious"</a>. His father stated the obvious and thus my husband would look at him and said, "<em>thank you captain obvious</em>". I was thinking, how funny would it be if you could actually use that when people say the obvious! <br /><br />Of course, it's easier to say what you want to do, rather than actually doing it. So, I agree with you totally. You rock Dr.Laura! You have made me laugh, cry and somehow managed to give me a few extra IQ points through listening to your program! <br /><br />I thank you, <br /><br />Rayne<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a social pet peeve that you see people do all the time? Tell us what it is,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-22T18:58:00Z
Now I Appreciate What I Have
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Now-I-Appreciate-What-I-Have/535086969614933995.html
2016-01-22T18:57:00Z
2016-01-22T18:57:00Z
<br />You asked on air to email and brag about our husbands. When I married my husband, we were young and I don't think that I knew what an amazing person I was getting. Eleven years and 2 kids later, I know that I was lucky. <br /><br />He works hard for us, never complaining about his harrowing travel schedule. He helps out at home, without me EVER having to ask. He is an attentive and fun father to our two sons. I am thankful that they have such a great role model. We watch as families around us dissolve; and we snuggle in tight, vowing to take care of each other. <br /><br />I love him more now than I did the day I married him, because I now appreciate what I have. Thank you for your guidance to be a better wife and mother! <br /><br />Amy<br /><br /><br /><br />Tell us what your spouse does for you,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-22T18:57:00Z
The 'D' Word
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-D-Word/467369619691653307.html
2016-01-21T18:58:00Z
2016-01-21T18:58:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just want to drop you a line to thank you for what you do. My husband died 4 years ago for a long time, I dread using the "d" word. <br /><br />I heard the call that you took from the lady who also dreaded using that word for her daughter and it was an eye-opening moment for me. Thank you for providing the understanding behind that word. Your words comforted me during those times. I just discovered you, less than 6 months after the incident, and I don't know how many times I read and re-read the snippet that you have in the Dr. Laura app,<em> "<a href="http://drlauraapps.com/" target="_blank">Moral Compass</a>", </em>about death.<br /><br />I hope that you have a Dr. Laura of your own to help you through rough times. We have a now-15-year old daughter and you have been helping me raise her for the past 4 years. I'm a loyal podcast listener and I hang on to every word of wisdom that you give your callers. <br /><br />Thank you. <br /><br />love, <br /><br />Hillary<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you handle losing a loved one? Tell us how you cope,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-21T18:58:00Z
Son, Are You A Man?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Son,-Are-You-A-Man/586731158169067395.html
2016-01-21T18:57:00Z
2016-01-21T18:57:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am a 55 year old widow. My husband died suddenly over 9 years ago when my sons were 11 and 12. My younger son, 20, is an outstanding young man. My older son,22, is not. <br /><br />When speaking with my older son yesterday, he was crying about his girlfriend. Having heard the same story many times, all of a sudden, I sat up straight and let him have it.<br />
<blockquote>I said,<em> "Son, you are a grown man. Are you letting a little girl run your life? Do you have any balls?"</em> He exclaimed, <em>"Mom!"</em> I said, <em>"You know, those parts of you between your naval and your knees."</em> He said quietly, <em>"Yes." </em>I said,<em> "I can't hear you."</em> He said firmly, <em>"Yes, mom."</em> I said, <em>"Well act like it, be a man and quit crying about this. You are strong and capable, quit acting like a little boy." </em></blockquote>
It felt so good! Surprised him and surprised myself. Thank you Dr. Laura, I took your words and was able to parent appropriately. You are the best! <br /><br />Most Sincerely, <br /><br />Diana <br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever had to parent with tough love? Tell us what happened,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-21T18:57:00Z
'Babies Don't Keep'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Babies-Dont-Keep/225735869884503857.html
2016-01-20T18:58:00Z
2016-01-20T18:58:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I'm now a grandmother of five children. Back in the day, when my children were young, there was a poem on the wall in my pediatrician's office called, "Babies Don't Keep." I was wondering if you had ever heard of it, I think you will enjoy it as much as me and my daughters do. <br /><br />Here it is: <br /><br />"Babies Don't Keep" By: Ruth Hulburt Hamilton
<blockquote><em>Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth, </em><br /><em>Empty the dustpan, poison the moth, </em><br /><em>Hang out the washing, make up the bed, </em><br /><em>Sew on a button and butter the bread. </em><br /><br /><em>Where is the mother whose house is so shocking? </em><br /><em>She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking. </em><br /><br /><em>Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue, </em><br /><em>Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo. </em><br /><em>Dishes are waiting and bills are past due </em><br /><em>Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo</em><br /><br /><em> The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew</em><br /><em> And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo </em><br /><em>But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo </em><br /><em>Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue? </em><br /><em>Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo. </em><br /><br /><em>The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow </em><br /><em>But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow. </em><br /><em>So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep! </em><br /><em>I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.</em></blockquote>
<br /><br />Do you have a poem you'd like to share with us? Share it with us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-20T18:58:00Z
My First Career As A Stay At Home Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-First-Career-As-A-Stay-At-Home-Mom/154763587981068011.html
2016-01-20T18:57:00Z
2016-01-20T18:57:00Z
<br />My first career was a Stay at Home Mom. My husband and I chose wisely and still treat each other kindly, everyday, 27 years and still going. <br /><br />We chose to build a family with me as the Stay at Home Mom and never looked at that choice as a sacrifice. I never thought of it as a sacrifice. When people say they SACRIFICE to stay at home with their children I wonder what is the matter with them! Of course their are sacrifices. I would have loved to go out for lunch or gone shopping the few days when all three kids and the dog were throwing up. But, I didn't.<br /><br />When you have kids, you sign up for a job that demands a lot of tireless effort, patience and devotion to the family. This is including being your husband's girlfriend! How could this be news to anyone? I Loved the job. <br /><br />Reaping the benefits as my adult children call often and enjoy visiting! Looking forward to grandchildren someday.<br /><br />Jay<br /><br /><br /><br />Did you stay home with your kids? How do you feel about your experience,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-20T18:57:00Z
Princess Diana Said It Best
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Princess-Diana-Said-It-Best/836788225732849354.html
2016-01-19T18:58:00Z
2016-01-19T18:58:00Z
<br />I think Princess Diana said it best, "A marriage gets really crowded when there are more than two people in it." <br /><br />
<ul>
<li>This means if a man has a mistress, it becomes a crowded marriage. </li>
<br />
<li>If a woman has an affair, it become a crowded marriage. </li>
<br />
<li>If a man listens to his mother or friends, rather than his wife, it becomes a crowded marriage. </li>
<br />
<li>If a woman listens to her mother or friends, rather than her husband, it becomes a crowded marriage. </li>
</ul>
<br />In a crowded marriage, one spouse has broken the vow to forsake all others. It is perfectly reasonable for the spouse that has suffered the pain of a breach, to reassess the relationship. <br /><br />May you walk or sail in peace and beauty, <br /><br />Lary<br /><br /><br />Have you ever heard a quote that stuck with you? Tell us what it was,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-19T18:58:00Z
Apologies Help To Heal
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Apologies-Help-To-Heal/-873564563515579729.html
2016-01-19T18:57:00Z
2016-01-19T18:57:00Z
<br />The best apology I ever received was from my Dad. I grew up in a house with my brother, Dad and Mother. Then when I was 13 or 14 they took in children from a relative and that is when life became even worse than it already was. We were already poor and my mother was abusive. <br /><br />Taking on more children was just unthinkable. Through the years the adopted children were treated better always, had the things that they needed and more. I felt left out and unwanted by my own parents. I grew up thinking that I was unloved and a mistake. <br /><br />I am now 33 and a couple of years ago I received a call out of the blue from my Dad. He explained how sorry he was for the years that he was for not there for me and when he paid more attention to the other children. He said he was wrong to do that and he lost time with me that he could never get back. This great apology released so much pain and resentment that I had held inside. It was a relief to know that he felt remorse for the years of pain he had caused. <br /><br /><br /><br />Has your parent ever apologizes? Tell us what happened,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-19T18:57:00Z
My Simple Plan
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Simple-Plan/322782408277421269.html
2016-01-18T18:58:00Z
2016-01-18T18:58:00Z
<br />Dr.Laura, <br /><br />I am the proud mother of seven children, and yes I gave birth to all of them. I raised all my children the with the same consistent values, principals and rules of the game. In addition, I raised them myself for the last 10 years when my "was-band" decided to leave.<br /><br /><br />My plan is simple:<br /><br />
<ul>
<li>I am the head of my house hold. </li>
<br />
<li>Don't look at me funny or we will have a problem. </li>
<br />
<li>I make the rules, and I will not consult or negotiate those rules with you....evvvvverrr. </li>
<br />
<li>You will be respectful with your elders. Watch your language and behavior around both them and small children as they are watching you and using you as a guide. </li>
<br />
<li>If you misbehave on the school bus, I don't care what their policy is. I give my permission on the first day of school to the driver to boot you off. You are dangerously distracting the driver. </li>
<br />
<li>Don't come home and tell me how mean your teacher is, put yourself in her shoes. She deserves a huge reward just for showing up. </li>
<br />
<li>Eat what is put before you and be grateful you have something to eat. </li>
<br />
<li>Do not judge the person who doesn't behave exactly as you want them to or shows signs of what you would describe as weird. Walk a mile in their shoes. You don't know what goes on in their home. It's your job to include these kids in your circle at any given chance. (You might be the only person that paid good attention to them in their day.) </li>
<br />
<li>No is a word that you will get to know well because there will be more "no's" in your life than "yes's". </li>
<br />
<li>I love you enough to teach you about life and it's rewards and it's consequences, as there will be many in your lifetime. If you have learned to deal with them forever, you will be well equipped in life and I have done my job. </li>
<br />
<li>If you don't like me at least 10 times per week, then I know I am on the right track as your parent. </li>
</ul>
I teach them to be responsible for their own behavior and actions and never address an issue until I have a clear understanding of their contribution. I am a personal trainer and an Iron-Woman. I believe in pushup's, burpee's, running and biking as a wonderful deterrent to ants in the pants... just my two cents. <br /><br /><br /><br />What's your patenting style? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-18T18:58:00Z
Model Your Behavior
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Model-Your-Behavior/-531490244637609827.html
2016-01-18T18:57:00Z
2016-01-18T18:57:00Z
<br />Model the behavior that you would expect in return. If you don't want your child to lie, don't lie. If you want your child to be kind to others, be kind. If you want your child to be helpful, then give them the tools they need to help you at a young age and continue to expect help from them with things as they grow-up. <br /><br />Model reading and doing homework. children usually want to do what their parents do and copy the behavior. If you lose your temper when you don't get your way, expect that same behavior from your child. <br /><br />When my children got into the middle grades, if I asked them to do something and it did not happen, they could expect the same behavior from me. They may want dinner or their clothes laundered, or ride at certain time. If I had to wait for a request, so did they.<br /><br /><br /><br /><span>How do YOU get your children to do as you ask? Tell us,</span><span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-18T18:57:00Z
The Importance Of Choosing Wisely And Treating Kindly
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-Of-Choosing-Wisely-And-Treating-Kindly/-455680657202337327.html
2016-01-15T18:58:00Z
2016-01-15T18:58:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I meant to write to you back when I heard your podcast commentary about parents who fight in front of their children. That was my childhood. My mother and stepfather fought continually while I was growing up, and it didn't matter who was there to hear it. <br /><br />I would secretly hope for their divorce just so I'd have some peace. I can't tell you how many weekend mornings I awoke to the sound of their yelling, how many meals were ruined by crashing dishes, or my parents stomping off from the table. <br /><br />At a very young age, I promised myself that I would never fight in front of my future children. I married a wonderful man when I was 35 and we quickly had two boys. I followed through with my promise. We never fought or had harsh words in front of our children. I have always been at home with my boys. I am proud that I have chosen wisely and have been treating kindly. I am confident that I will continue to be a good mom and provide a happy home for my boys. I have no regrets about my marriage and for that I am thankful. <br /><br />My story is another example of how important it is to choose wisely and treat kindly. Please don't use my name if you read this on the air, thank you.<br /><br /><br /><br />What does your spouse do to treat YOU kindly? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-15T18:58:00Z
She's Right, AGAIN!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Shes-Right,-AGAIN!/-387680884079710068.html
2016-01-15T18:57:00Z
2016-01-15T18:57:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I love the advice you gave to a lady who felt her love life was becoming boring and routine. You asked her "when was the last time you flashed your husband?" <br /><br />More excellent advice! Ladies, Dr. Laura is right. <br /><br />We are not complicated creatures. Show your man that you are interested in him and you will find a MAN who will walk to the ends of the world for you...and twice on Sunday. <br /><br />Gary<br /><br /><br />Have you ever heard Dr. Laura give a piece of advice that you agree with? Tell us what it was,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-15T18:57:00Z
The 'Courting Candle'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Courting-Candle/723232130526913181.html
2016-01-14T18:58:00Z
2016-01-14T18:58:00Z
<br /><br />One of your callers reminded me of this candle that dates back to the 1800s. When the daughter had a suitor coming to see his daughter, the father would light this candle in the sitting room where the couple conversed. <br /><br />When the candle burned down to the metal at the top of the holder, it was time for the suitor to promptly leave. If the father did not like this particular suitor, he could turn the piece of metal that sticks straight out. This turning of this piece made the candle, itself go down, so he could choose for the suitor to go home sooner. <br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/d.jpg" alt="" /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a dating tradition you'd like to share? Tell us about it,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-14T18:58:00Z
Bicycle Built For Two
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bicycle-Built-For-Two/854293315270450334.html
2016-01-14T18:57:00Z
2016-01-14T18:57:00Z
<br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I'm sure you've heard this old song before. I wasn't aware of the lyrics in the second verse, until now. Upon my discovery, I couldn't help but think of you talking about how young women don't put as much effort in choosing a mate as animals do. <br /><br />I'm not sure if this verse was added later, but it fits perfect!<br /><br />Here it is:
<blockquote><span style="background-color: transparent; background-size: auto;">"Daisy, Daisy,<br /> Give me your answer do!<br /> I'm half crazy,<br /> All for the love of you!<br /> It won't be a stylish marriage,<br /> I can't afford a carriage<br /> But you'll look sweet upon the seat<br /> Of a bicycle made for two."</span></blockquote>
<br /><br /><br />Have you ever heard a song that reminded you of Dr. Laura? Tell us what it was,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-14T18:57:00Z
Better Person Zone
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Better-Person-Zone/219120949000505575.html
2016-01-13T18:58:00Z
2016-01-13T18:58:00Z
<br />At 53 years old, I have worked very hard to get past all the crap thrown at me as a child. Let me tell you, it's never easy. I call myself a work in progress, like those highway jobs that never seem to be finished. Once they take the signs down and you think the work is done, they put up the barriers up again with another road project. Why? <br /><br />Because those first formative years and all the programming that goes with it is hard to work!! <br /><br />I've done about every self help there is over the last 30 years. In fact, I never stop. I equate it to walking up a down escalator. It can be done but it takes effort, perseverance, and coordination. The reward is reaching the top. I don't always look towards the top, but often finding myself focusing on one step at a time. Through all of this I am older, wiser and happier now. I AM A BETTER PERSON AND THE WORLD SEES THAT!!! I see that. I reflect on the bad things in my life; ways I acted, people I hurt, things I did unconsciously. I agree with the statement that awareness is 90% of it. Traveling down a road and not seeing the forks or exits only allows me to follow one path. Real change came from taking a candid look at my shortcomings. Awareness of my situation allows me to see those shortcomings and to work around them. Now when I travel down that road, I have choices - the forks and the exits didn't exist before. Of course that does not mean I always make the best choice or get off off at the correct exit. I DON'T ALWAYS! But at least I have a choice. That is what turning the bad into good means for me - awareness, choice, and action. It took me 53 years to get to where I am now. I'd be a fool to think all the trauma and dysfunction of my childhood is going to disappear overnight. I learn that every day with the mistakes I still make. If I can recognize the mistakes, then them I can work to change them too. <br />
<blockquote>To paraphrase <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rod_Serling" target="_blank">Rod Serling</a>: "<em>You're traveling through a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's the signpost up ahead - your next stop"</em> -- the I'm a Better Person Zone! </blockquote>
<br /><br />How have you changed over the years? Tell us how you're making yourself into a better person,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-13T18:58:00Z
My 'Mommy Laura'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Mommy-Laura/-178465984726532997.html
2016-01-13T18:57:00Z
2016-01-13T18:57:00Z
<br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Thank you for being on the air, even when we the audience makes you work harder than a chicken laying a coconut. Today I heard a call that made me think, the mother that "hated" her children. You genuinely helped that woman. I bet that conversation will change the lives of the entire family. That is what you do. The people that call into the show have courage. They see there is a problem and are trying to fix themselves. While millions are in such denial, sedated or both, that they don't even care about the carnage left behind. <br /><br />I do listen to your advice and have come to consider you my mommy Laura. This is a comfort, because we all need a mommy sometime. Please know that we love you out here. <br /><br />By the way, my 5 yrs old daughter is still looking for a grandma - while your waiting for babies! May you be lifted to new heights and brighter dreams. <br /><br />Mike <br /><br /><br /><br />Do you listen to Dr. Laura? Tell us your favorite piece of advice,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-13T18:57:00Z
I Will Be Cheering You On
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Will-Be-Cheering-You-On/-174352108182252724.html
2016-01-12T18:58:00Z
2016-01-12T18:58:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am part of an online support group that addresses illness and medical problems. This is usually a wonderful and compassionate group of women. Many topics come up in conversation, besides that of the illness and its complications in our lives. <br /><br />I gasped as I read the question on the screen, "Would you go back to work 1 week after giving birth?" <br /><br />I though the question was strange, but I was even more astounding with the answers! Most women replied with an immediate "no". A few moments later there was a follow up post, with suggested timelines to resume work after childbirth. Some of the posts were even generous enough to suggest that a tiny, helpless infant with constant physical and emotional needs should get 4 or maybe 6 weeks of their mother's time. <br /><br />It breaks my heart, but it makes me even more grateful for your encouragement of stay at home mothers. Every time you get through to one more young mama, I will be cheering you on. As I write this, I am curled up next to my tiny 5 week old boy. I try to comfort myself with the thought that, no matter what my failings are as a mom, there are very few moments of this sweet precious life that I will not be present for. <br /><br />Thank you for your work. <br /><br />~Amber<br /><br /><br /><br />Did you originally plan to back to work after having your child? What changed your mind? Tell us how becoming a parent has impacted you,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-12T18:58:00Z
Reminding Myself To Do The Right Thing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Reminding-Myself-To-Do-The-Right-Thing/587355515271910667.html
2016-01-12T18:57:00Z
2016-01-12T18:57:00Z
<br />After 23 years of marriage, I read "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a>", and it made me realize that I needed a refresher course.<br /><br />I had been treating my husband as a fourth child and speaking in tones that were not respectful. I honestly admitted my failures to him and humbly apologized and set about to remind myself to do things right. I need to remind myself regularly of the vows that I made to my husband. <br /><br />I know that our marriage is sweeter, kinder and all just a joy when I do the right things. Thank you for your book and for all that you do. You are the bee's knees!<br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Diane<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever realized that you may have been taking your spouse for granted? Tell us what you did to show you care,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-12T18:57:00Z
Inspired By Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Inspired-By-Dr.-Laura/-531201812124301491.html
2016-01-11T18:58:00Z
2016-01-11T18:58:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been following you for years and I LOVE what you are doing for our society!! One of the things I love most about you, is your willingness to say things as they are. I love it. You have been such an inspiration in my life that I find myself referring people to your insights.
<blockquote>Thank you for defending the role of stay-at-home moms. <br /><br />Thank you for encouraging people to stand up for what is right. <br /><br />Thank you so much for encouraging people to make the welfare of their children a top priority.</blockquote>
<br />I am just one person out there, but your voice helped me arrive at the decision to continue seeking my education, while staying at home with my little ones. I chose to work on my schooling online, so I did not have to worry about leaving them for hours at a time. We have made several financial sacrifices, but we know we are doing "right" by our boys. <br /><br />Gina<br /><br /><br /><br />How have you been inspired to be a better person? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-11T18:58:00Z
New Hobbies
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/New-Hobbies/-878132825432373354.html
2016-01-11T18:57:00Z
2016-01-11T18:57:00Z
Hi Dr.Laura, <br /><br />I heard the other day that you were going to start ballroom dance lessons and I was excited for you. I started country lessons in 1982, on the advice of my attorney. Getting into this hobby helped me with my stress relief and mental health. People take lessons for many reasons; the usual meat market, exercise, getting away from kids or spouse, etc. <br /><br />During my first lesson, they gave me the basic pointers. I was told to wear comfortable shoes that slide, to practice after taking lessons. However, the most important rule is to let the man lead. At times, this can be hard for some of us to remember. I have taken country, ballroom and salsa lessons but I like the country best. I have made lifelong friends, traveled with dance groups, and even met my husband. <br /><br />I look forward to hearing about your adventure and have fun! Please keep us posted on what you're learning. <br /><br /><br /><br />What do you do to make yourself happy? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-11T18:57:00Z
Never Say The Word 'Can't'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Never-Say-The-Word-Cant/-379191698366875766.html
2016-01-08T18:58:00Z
2016-01-08T18:58:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br /><a href="https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=856346521050476&set=vb.121736167844852&type=2&theater" target="_blank">Here is a link</a> to one of the most inspiring videos you may ever watch, plus a surprising twist in this true story.<br /><br />If you have not already seen this, you would be so proud of this girl's mother and father. I so appreciate you, and I wanted to send you this to encourage you and let you see that there are good people out there who really do "Do the Right Thing". <br /><br />Kate<br /><br /><br /><br />What have you learned from the show? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-08T18:58:00Z
A 'Sign' From Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Sign-From-Dr.-Laura/804385864286159085.html
2016-01-08T18:57:00Z
2016-01-08T18:57:00Z
<div class="moz-forward-container"><br />Dr Laura, <br /><br />I listen to your show every day driving home from work. I heard you have a conversation with a woman last week, she had a troubled teen son who was running wild. <br /><br />She was handling her child's drinking crisis so well that you commended her for doing the "right thing". I loved listening to how she took control of her situation and couldn't have agreed more. I saw this sign after the show, as I was finishing my trip, and I just had to share. I immediacy thought of her call. I don't have any kids, but I love what the sign says. <br /><br />Enjoy your day...and thank you for all you do, <br /><br />Tom<br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/bhuzvwooyhyobm.jpg" alt="" /><br /><br /><br /><br />
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<br /><br /><br /><br />Has your teen ever been a hand-full to manage? Tell us what you did as a parent to halp the situation,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-08T18:57:00Z
The Family We Choose
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Family-We-Choose/-311889484829309951.html
2016-01-07T18:58:00Z
2016-01-07T18:58:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Words are not enough to express my gratitude to you for your guidance. My son was married back in 2014. We were worried for years over the relationship, but we never stood in their way. At one point, he and his wife stopped talking to us. His wife had told some lies to our family and needless to say, it caused a lot of damage. It was shocking to me that some of my closest friends believed something that was not true, without even talking to me. They had known me for my entire life. I felt confused and hurt that my family had assumed everything was true. <br /><br />Since this event, they have chosen to cut ties with us. It has been the hardest year of my Husband's and my life. Listening to your show every day has helped me through my darkest hours. Hearing others in similar situations has helped me realize that I still have a family...my Husband's family! They have always been a wonderful support. Listening to your show has also taught me to be grateful for the family that I do have and to treat them the way they deserve. <br /><br />Thank you Dr Laura. Thank you, thank you, thank you!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />What have you learned from the show? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-07T18:58:00Z
YOU Choose Your Attitude
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/YOU-Choose-Your-Attitude/-205950732437631645.html
2016-01-07T18:57:00Z
2016-01-07T18:57:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was listening to your program on my way home from work today. You had a caller who decided that she was just unhappy. You told her to start acting happy and that can improve how you feel. With this you shared about how you continued to do your program after the death of your husband. It started me thinking about my own situation. <br /><br />I'm the mom of 3 kids, my greatest blessings. I was married to their dad for just under 20 years when he lost a 2 and a half year battle to cancer; my kids were 16, 9 and 4. I've been asked many times how come I'm not upset or crying all the time. I have my moments but I just remind them that you have two choices in the way you go thru life - laughing or crying. The choice is yours and I've chosen laughing. <br /><br />We all miss him but remember the love he had for us and all the good times. In the six years following his death, I'm happy to say that my kids are happy, healthy, productive, active in both our community and church. I want them to know that in most things in life nothing is a problem unless you make it one. You chose your attitude. Our lives aren't perfect, but we are happy and surrounded with loving family and friends and that is what matters. Thanks for being a voice of reason. <br /><br />Pat<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you choose your attitude? Tell us how you handle keeping your cool,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-07T18:57:00Z
Listen To Mother Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Listen-To-Mother-Laura/-367603356930833722.html
2016-01-06T18:58:00Z
2016-01-06T18:58:00Z
<br />I am a happy stay at home mom to my two boys and a proud army wife. I have taken your advice on countless occasions and it never fails. It just so happens the other day, I was listening to your show at just the right moment. <br /><br />Right before I got in the car, I texted my husband about an issue that we could have easily talked about after he got home. I waited for his short answers and then wondered why he was taking so long to get back to me and why was he being so short with his answers. His texts began to explain to me that he's attending an important going away lunch for one of his commanding officer. After the lunch, he gets in his truck and calls me right away. He wanted to let me know that his full thoughts were on the matter at hand.<br /><br /> He was not upset with me for bothering him. In fact, he was very sweet on the phone. I took ALL of this for granted, until I got in my car to pick up my youngest from school and I heard you talking about showing appreciation for the things your spouse does for you. I thought about how rude I had been. Continually interrupting him while he was trying to take care of business. Then I thought about how nice he was to even respond to me at all, given his situation. Right after I heard you, I pulled the car over and sent him a text telling him how much I appreciated him taking the time to speak to me. I then told him I couldn't have asked for a better husband and that I loved him. He responded quite nicely to that! This got me thinking about how much I had been taking for granted. All the little things he does for me should be appreciated more. I'm now doing a much better job at making sure he that he knows how much I love and appreciate what a wonderful husband and father he is to our family. <br /><br />Thank you for what you have done for me over the years. You can bet, I will be listening for more things I can improve on. I love you and will be a faithful fan as I have been always. <br /><br />Jamie<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever been taken for granted by a loved one? Tell us how you handled the situation,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-06T18:58:00Z
Loving Responses Make The Difference
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Loving-Responses-Make-The-Difference/-853129056532969183.html
2016-01-06T18:57:00Z
2016-01-06T18:57:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura: <br /><br />I have been meaning to write this letter for quite some time and thank you for your advice through the years. I have never called your show but to listen others with similar problems. I'm a 60 year old grandmother now, happily married for 30 years. 2nd marriage. <br /><br />I started listening to you in the late 70's. Your advice helped me through a bad marriage, raising my son into a man, and finding the right person on my second attempt at love. You have also helped me through caring for my aging parents and their death. I have lost track of the number of books I have bought over the years of yours. For holidays I give "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060976497/noxsolutions-20/ref=nosim" target="_blank">10 Stupid Things Women Do To Mess up Their Life</a>" as gifts. You have helped countless people with your spot on advice. You even had a caller earlier today that reminded that positive and loving responses begets positive and loving responses. My husband is very patent with me. Even when my responses could be given in a more loving manner. When I walked in the door today, I began to immediately follow your advice and what a noticeable difference it has already made! <br /><br />This is only one of the many examples of how you have helped me through the years. I just wanted to say, thank you. . . Please keep the advice coming!<br /><br />Long time listener, <br /><br />Brit<br /><br /><br /><br />Has Dr. Laura helped keep you on track with your spouse? Tell us how,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-06T18:57:00Z
He Picked Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Picked-Me/649154220308438712.html
2016-01-05T18:58:00Z
2016-01-05T18:58:00Z
Dr. Laura, <br /><br />The first thing I do when I get in the car, is tune into your program. The other day I caught the tail end of call from husband and wife. They had a problem with another woman and the attention the husband had been given to her. While speaking with the couple, you had said what the husband had done was wrong. <br /><br />I started to cry right there. My husband of 33 years had insisted in maintaining contact a woman through Facebook. This gal would message my husband , comment on his posts, etc. My roller coaster emotions at this stage of my life got the best of me. When I asked my husband about his actions, he responded, "I just want to show her what a great life I have". I didn't understand his thought process. I felt his ego was getting the best of him. We talked things out...but that little thing just kept sticking in my brain. Is he straying from me?? <br /><br />Now I do know more than anything my husband loves me! Hearing your response but that back in perspective for me. HE PICKED ME, HE'S HERE WITH ME! <br /><br />Thank you. I have been a fan for more than 20 years! Thank you for being a voice of reason, thank you for being a true advocate for families. <br /><br />Melynda<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you dealt with the possibility of infidelity in your marriage? Tell us how you handled the situation,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-05T18:58:00Z
Learning To Properly Care For Your Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-To-Properly-Care-For-Your-Husband/-168193318381307060.html
2016-01-05T18:57:00Z
2016-01-05T18:57:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just finished reading your book, '<a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Proper-Care-Feeding-Husbands/dp/0060520620" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a>'. <br /><br />I wanted you to know that your thoughts in this book are exactly what I have been feeling and thinking for so many years. If every wife would read and heed your words, I believe the divorce rate would be near ZERO! Thanks again for having the courage and foresight to write this book. <br /><br />THANK YOU!<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you properly feed your Husband? Tell us how,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-05T18:57:00Z
Treating Kindly Goes Both Ways
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Treating-Kindly-Goes-Both-Ways/-317269622901087801.html
2016-01-04T18:58:00Z
2016-01-04T18:58:00Z
<br />My father was a fighter pilot in the Air Force. When I was growing up, there were times when he was gone for long stretches of time, leaving my mom at home alone with all 5 kids. When he was at home, it seemed like every evening during dinner, she would nag at him. <br /><br />The night before my wedding, my father told me that the only advice he had for me was not to nag my husband the way my mother had done to him. This moment acted as a reminder and ultimately kept me from turning into an unpleasant wife. <br /><br />Many years later, I pulled up behind a car that had a bumper sticker on the back. <br /><br />It read:
<blockquote><strong><em>"Treat her like a thoroughbred and she won't be a nag." </em></strong></blockquote>
<br /><br /><br />Have you ever had a misconception about marriage? Tell us what you learned,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-04T18:58:00Z
The Impact Of Consistency
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Impact-Of-Consistency/727580422909087756.html
2016-01-04T18:57:00Z
2016-01-04T18:57:00Z
<br />I asked a friend who happened to be a juvenile delinquency officer, "what is the most important thing in raising a child?". She answered, "consistency". <br /><br />If a child is raised from an early age to learn what the parent says stands, they learn to respect authority. That will also hold true to adults. There are always those that will push the limits, but generally speaking it is a good tool. My son was an easy child, but I was very consistent with him. If I say something, I stuck to it. I am very happy to say he is a wonderful respectful young man. <br /><br />Just had to compliment you on spreading the gospel of consistency in parenting!<br /><br /><br /><br />What do you think is the most important ingredient to parenting? Tell us your thoughts,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2016-01-04T18:57:00Z
Balance Is Key
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Balance-Is-Key/-892359868954365372.html
2015-12-18T18:58:00Z
2015-12-18T18:58:00Z
<br />While I was not successful in my own marriage in avoiding infidelities, I hope to help my sons keep their marriage strong, loving and fun. <br /><br />I bought 2 copies of each of your books - <em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060520620/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0060520620&linkCode=as2&tag=wwwdrlauracom-20&linkId=5AWR3PAVKGV2KTFV" target="_blank">The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands</a> </em>and <em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Proper-Care-Feeding-Marriage/dp/0061142824/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=1WVMPKVGTQT054BW1NK6" target="_blank">The Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage</a></em>. Each couple was given their books 3 years ago, for absolutely no reason. I wrapped them in pretty paper, tied ribbons around them, and continued to write cards specifically to each couple. I prayed that they would use them. <br /><br />Since then, I have heard from each couple independently. Their marriages are stronger, their friendships better and their personal intimate relationships are thriving! They work together to support their families monetarily and spiritually. Their children are home schooled by Mom. They spend time with their families and just have good old fashioned fun. Dad is there by their side, along with Mom. Life isn't always perfect, but they remain balanced. They are full of intent to continue their lives together. <br /><br />Thanks for all that you do...the encouragement you give..the knock to the head we sometimes need. Keep writing - I'll keep buying !! <br /><br />Thank you for your support to our Military families. <br /><br />Kind regards, <br /><br />Tim<br /><br /> <br /><br /><br />Have you dealt with infidelity in your marriage? Tell us how you handled the situation,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-12-18T18:58:00Z
Parent vs. BFF
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parent-vs.-BFF/6194881840902178.html
2015-12-18T18:57:00Z
2015-12-18T18:57:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just saw a quote on your FB page regarding being your kids friend. <br /><br />All 4 of my children are in their 20's and I still cringe when I hear one of them say that I am their "best friend". I am not a friend...I am the parent! However, my kids DO feel that they can come and talk to me about anything. They KNOW I will give my honest and sometimes not popular opinion. <br /><br />I am taking this as a compliment; that they respect me as their parent and also like me as a friend. The goal was to raise responsible, reliable and independent adults. <br /><br />Thanks for all the support in doing what is right! <br /><br />Lori<br /><br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br />How close of a friendship do you have with your children? Tell us about your parenting style,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-12-18T18:57:00Z
Contradicting My Family's Wishes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Contradicting-My-Familys-Wishes/433288430037599740.html
2015-12-17T18:58:00Z
2015-12-17T18:58:00Z
<br />Hi Dr.Laura, <br /><br />I know you hear allot of negative family stories from callers, so I wanted to share a positive one with you. I got pregnant at age 19, at the time my boyfriend was 22. When our families and friends found out, they insisted we terminate the pregnancy. My boyfriend, insisted we take on the responsibility and have our baby. We welcomed our beautiful daughter, Angelina, into the world a few months later. <br /><br />We knew the best thing for Angelina was for me to be a stay at home mother. My husband went out and got a job right away. He didn't make huge amounts of money, but it was enough for us to get by. The whole time, our families and and friends said we were making the wrong choices with their own families. It was not easy to go against the grain, but we married. <br /><br />We knew as long as we respected and loved each other, we could make it through anything. Fast forward 7 years. My husband is now 30, he's an enterprise sales executive for one of the best known companies in the Silicon Valley. We welcome another beautiful baby, Alexandria, into the world last year. I am my kids mom and my husbands girlfriend. We wouldn't not be where we are today if it was not for us taking responsibility of our lives and " doing the right thing." <br /><br />Thank you for encouraging other people to go and do the right thing! <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Amber<br /> <br /><br /><br />Have you ever had to take responsibility for something? Tell us your story,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-12-17T18:58:00Z
Winning Isn't Everything
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Winning-Isnt-Everything/-96256926713311919.html
2015-12-17T18:57:00Z
2015-12-17T18:57:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura: <br /><br />I have been married for 27 years, and I have a few thoughts to share about working through arguements with your loved one. <br /><br /><ol>
<li><strong>You should listen</strong> enough to at least let the other person articulate their issue or point of view. </li>
<br />
<li><strong>Do not force the other person to listen</strong> if they don't want to! </li>
<br />
<li><strong>Listen to YOURSELF</strong> so that you are not ever speaking too loudly, with harshness or even a hints of sarcasm. </li>
<br />
<li><strong>It doesn't matter who wins</strong> - it's how both parties feel afterwards. </li>
</ol>
<div></div>
Sometimes being a good loser makes you both winners.<br /><ol> </ol><br /><br /><br />How do you settle disagreements with your partner? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-12-17T18:57:00Z
Speaking To My Heart
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Speaking-To-My-Heart/959583515068410456.html
2015-12-16T18:58:00Z
2015-12-16T18:58:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Many years ago I stayed home with my three children and parented them exclusively for ten years. I loved every minute of it. However, when they all went to elementary school, I started to think I needed a job. <br /><br />I want something "for me". I want to get paid and told I am doing something well by a boss. Mostly, I want to feel productive. I found a wonderful job where I got paid to visit first time parents and teach them how to play with their babies, nurture and care for their babies and all aspects of healthy parenting. I would give these families 8 hours of my time during the day and would come home exhausted with my own family. In addition, my youngest son started falling apart. He was acting out, in a cry for help. <br /><br />Around that time I was listening to you on the radio as I was driving on my way to visit my "other families". You weighted heavy on my heart. Your words hurt and I knew I needed to make a change. After much personal debate, I told my husband I was quitting my job and going back to be here for MY family again. This was the best decision I could ever had made. I started volunteering in the school, my summers were now free again to create fun memories with my children. Mostly, I was home to supervise my children after school. Well, the problems stopped and my son turned himself around it took a while he is healthy, happy and stable now. <br /><br />Thank you for being the person who spoke to my heart when I needed it. It's like the ol' saying goes: <br />
<blockquote>"When I lay on my death bed, I won't look back thinking about my employment, how I should have worked more. I'll be thankful for all the times I was with my family. Enjoying every minute."</blockquote>
<br />Thanks again, <br /><br />Jess<br /><br /> <br /><br /><br />What do you do to feel productive? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-12-16T18:58:00Z
Doing For My Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Doing-For-My-Man/541146870759268877.html
2015-12-16T18:57:00Z
2015-12-16T18:57:00Z
<br />I make him a home cooked breakfast each weekend. It really makes him feel appreciated. I try to cater to him and let him know that I do it all gladly, with love. He looks forward to it now. He says it starts his day off in the best way. He makes me coffee every morning and even brings me a cup to my room! He is a pleasure to spoil. <br /><br />Thank you for keeping woman on the path to being a warm, attentive and caring towards their Men. <br /> <br /><br /><br />What do you do to spoil your man?? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-12-16T18:57:00Z
Consistency Is Key
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Consistency-Is-Key/296263123133853112.html
2015-12-15T18:58:00Z
2015-12-15T18:58:00Z
<br />In raising children, I found consistency to be the most important factor. When children know what to expect and what the rules are they are most likely to obey them and to be happy when doing so. <br /><br />Have you ever played a game where you decide to not follow the rules? Chaos is usually the result. Consultants have made fortunes telling companies how to run meetings, one of the things they always do is to set up rules for participating. <br /><br />The old adage "Say what you mean and mean what you say" applies here. Think about what you are going to say before you say it and then follow through. Everyone will be happier as a result! <br /> <br /><br /><br />What do you think is the key to raising well adjusted children? Tell us your thoughts,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-12-15T18:58:00Z
Don't Jump To Conclusions
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dont-Jump-To-Conclusions/-974270815936796967.html
2015-12-15T18:57:00Z
2015-12-15T18:57:00Z
Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Whenever my husband and I have a major disagreement about something, we remind each other that the walls have ears, meaning our KIDS' ears. <br /><br />Saying this to each other, reminds us that when we can show our kids that we can resolve disputes without yelling at one another. They learn from us that they too should use that approach too. The most important thing is to hear each other out, <em><strong>before</strong></em> we make judgments. Don't jump to crazy conclusions about things before both sides are heard. <br /><br />Our kids are learning from our examples and we continue to learn from each other. <br /><br />Thank You for all you do,<br /><br />Jill<br /> <br /><br /><br />Do you have a secret trick to remind yourself that YOU are your child's best example? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-12-15T18:57:00Z
Protecting The Smartest Decision I Have Ever Made
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Protecting-The-Smartest-Decision-I-Have-Ever-Made/-845674192687047500.html
2015-12-14T18:58:00Z
2015-12-14T18:58:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I guess I'm an odd duck. I've heard you say that people who get engaged quickly is irresponsible. I do not feel I was irresponsible when I married the most wonderful man in the world. <br /><br />I was 18 and he was 26. We were engaged after a month, married 3 months after that. I love my husband more than the day we said "I do!". It was the smartest move I have ever made. We have 3 amazing kids. One is studying medicine, one is studying political science, and our third daughter is autistic. She drives, works, and is starting college in the spring. Maybe I'm just the exception to the rule. Marriage is NOT work! <br /><br />What do people do when they "work" on their marriage? It's simple, here's the secret to a successful marriage: <br /><br />1. You LOVE each other. <br /><br />2. You support each other emotionally. <br /><br />3. Communicate! Communicate! Especially in bed. <br /><br />4. You each try to give more than your share. <br /><br />5. When you hit bad times, you support each other, do not tear each other down. <br /><br />6. Be honest with each other and with yourself. <br /><br />7. MOST IMPORTANT!!!! YOU LOVE EACH OTHER!!! <br /><br /><br />
<blockquote><strong>If you can't do those things, you have no business being married. </strong></blockquote>
<br /><br /><br />What do you think is the perfect recipe for your marriage? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-12-14T18:58:00Z
Guess Dad Wasn't So Dumb After All
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Guess-Dad-Wasnt-So-Dumb-After-All/601908084078206355.html
2015-12-14T18:57:00Z
2015-12-14T18:57:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I received a text today from my 25 year old son that made my day and made me feel great. Here is what he said: <br /><br />
<blockquote><strong><em>Guess dad wasn't so dumb after all, you'll look at things a lot differently when you are 25.</em></strong></blockquote>
<br />It made me feel good that he appreciates some of the things that my wife and I have tried to share with him, even when we had to tell him no. <br /><br />Have a great day and keep up the wonderful work that you do everyday. <br /><br />Pat <br /><br /><br /><br />Has your child ever sent you a surprise note that left you proud? Tell us about it,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-12-14T18:57:00Z
What I Want To Do When I Grow Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-I-Want-To-Do-When-I-Grow-Up/264766244131544737.html
2015-12-11T18:58:00Z
2015-12-11T18:58:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I think it was the wrong question when we were asked, "What do you want to BE when you grow up?" I think the question should be, "What do you want to DO when you grow up?" <br /><br />At age 13 I read my dad's copy of Louis Nizer's, "My Life in Court" and decided to BE a lawyer. There were no lawyers in my family, and I never saw one working up-close-&-personal, until I graduated from law school. Before that, I only read books, or saw TV and movie images of glorious summations in court. The actual day-to-day work law and the ethics of that environment were never depicted accurately. I once had a boyfriend who wanted to BE a writer. He was writing a novel that stayed half finished for at least 6 years. One day, he finally realized that he wanted TO HAVE THE NEED TO WRITE, i.e. to BE a successful writer. He didn't want to just work, he wanted to have the passion for the work that he was creating.<br /><br />I hope these examples help make my point: ask your children what work they WANT to do when they grow up, not what they imagine they want to be. <br /><br />Lisa<br /><br /><br /><br />What do you think gives us false expectations for our future? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-12-11T18:58:00Z
The Golden Friend Rule
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Golden-Friend-Rule/-343892550174186519.html
2015-12-11T18:57:00Z
2015-12-11T18:57:00Z
Dr. Laura, <br /><br /><br />Finding a compatible friend is more simple thank you might think. I only really stick to one major rule. <br /><br />On the outside my true friends come in all shapes, sizes, etc. but what they all have in common is that <strong>we share the same values</strong>. By that, I am referring to the BIGGIES in the value bucket like: <br />
<ul>
<li>Honesty</li>
<br />
<li>Integrity</li>
<br />
<li>Respect</li>
<br />
<li>Family</li>
<br />
<li>Health </li>
<br />
<li>Loyalty </li>
</ul>
When a friendship fizzles, as they can very easily do, it can usually be traced back to their lack of a core value for me that wasn't apparent prior to that time.<br /><br />Dan<br /><br /><br /><br />What is your major rule when it comes to your friends? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-12-11T18:57:00Z
'Dr. Laura Says...'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dr.-Laura-Says.../-52709074697251029.html
2015-12-10T18:58:00Z
2015-12-10T18:58:00Z
Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have listened to you for years, and I want to thank you for the influence you have been in my marriage and my parenting. I think sometimes people may get tired of hearing me say, "Dr. Laura says...".<br /><br />I have one of those men who would swim through shark-infested water to give me a lemonade. For too many years I took him for granted, but I have learned through listening to you, what a gift he is! We have been married for 25 years and have 5 kids who are growing up to be kind, productive, and willing to stand for what they believe. <br /><br />Keep on telling us the hard things we need to hear. You are in my prayers. You are making a difference! <br /><br />Sara<br /><br /><br /><br />What have you learned from the show? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-12-10T18:58:00Z
'Man Up'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Man-Up/-402186578344032647.html
2015-12-10T18:57:00Z
2015-12-10T18:57:00Z
<br />I listen to the show daily and I Love It! Efim always does a great job playing just the right song at just the right time! <br /><br />I recently purchased a new album by the singer, Nikki Lane, who has a song called "Man Up." Thought y'all might like to check it out. Reminds me of some folks who call in. They need to hear it. Might be a good clip to play from time to time for these men who aren't Manning up! Enjoy.<br /><br /> Take care and I'll be listening<br /><br />
<blockquote><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDlkRG4IT_M" target="_blank">Man Up</a><br />By Nikki Lane<br /><br /><em>Where do you think I'm getting all these flowers? </em><br /><em>You've been watching T.V. for hours and hours</em><br /><em> Don't you ever think our love has gone and fade </em><br /><em> I'm supposed to be a girl, I don't wanna be a lady </em><br /><br /><em>Better take a hard luck before I say good-bye </em><br /><em>You better get up your ass, you better man up </em><br /><em>I'm gon' have to be the one who acts tough</em><br /><em> You better love me like like you can't get enough like </em><br /><em>Only thing that makes you feel so good If you find someone you know, and man up </em><br /><br /><em>My roof's been leaking since last July </em><br /><em>That bucket's full of the tears that I cried </em><br /><em>I gotta find some place that's nice and dry </em><br /><em>My dear momma, she said my oh my </em><br /><em>My ma ma man up, better grab his ducks and fly </em><br /><em>Don't take his hard luck </em><br /><em>I had to say goodbye</em></blockquote>
<br /><br /><br /> Have you heard a song that you want Dr. Laura to hear? Share it with us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-12-10T18:57:00Z
I Am Back. I Am Here. I Am Stronger.
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Am-Back.-I-Am-Here.-I-Am-Stronger./-895511909969787354.html
2015-12-09T18:58:00Z
2015-12-09T18:58:00Z
Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br /> I have read your book, '<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Shark-Attack-Land-Overcoming/dp/0061992127" target="_blank">Surviving A Shark Attack (On Land)</a>'. It was totally amazing to me. The first part of your book was very difficult for me to read. All of the types of betrayal and hurt were perpetrated upon me by a single person. The next part of your book was much easier for me to read. I had to go through all of those processes just to get to the "letting go" part, without having it eat me up inside. <br /><br /> If I would have read this book several years ago, I would have never believed all this would have happened in my life. Now, I can say, "been there, done that", and try to help other people. I am a widowed mother of 2 great boys. I truly AM my kids MOM! After my husband passed away, 8 1/2 years ago, my not sister did everything she could to destroy my family. Thankfully, with the help of my brothers & some of THE BEST friends any body could ever begin to hope for, I am back. I am here. I am stronger now than I ever was before. <br /><br /> Thank you, Dr. Laura, for the validation that you have given to me for a lot of the decisions that I have made! <br /><br /> Sincerely,<br /><br />Jenn<br /> <br /> <br /><br /><br />Who has given you the personal validation that you need? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-12-09T18:58:00Z
Positive Thinking, Positive Change
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Positive-Thinking,-Positive-Change/-106828892274407477.html
2015-12-09T18:57:00Z
2015-12-09T18:57:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura said, "Think positive thoughts about your husband; not what you don't like about him". It hit me like a brick thrown at my head. <br /><br />The difference in our marriage over the past week has been no less than astonishing! Once I started to after follow the suggestion, everything started to change. My husband is turning back into the man I first met. Now his good qualities are all that I can remember. He is suddenly seeing me as his loving, happy wife. <br /><br /> Thanks Dr. Laura! <br /><br /><br />Have you ever had to speak to your spouse about their attitude? Tell us how your relationship changed,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-12-09T18:57:00Z
Learning To Treat Kindly
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-To-Treat-Kindly/116474736236452570.html
2015-12-08T18:58:00Z
2015-12-08T18:58:00Z
<br />Hello Dr. Laura: <br /><br />I am 50-years-old. My husband is in the Army Reserves, our 21-year-old son will be in the Army upon his college graduation and my 19-year-old son was sworn into the USAF last week! I have listened to you off and on for years but have never really taken your advice on how to "treat kindly" to heart. Recently I started listening to you via Podcast. You've helped me learn and grow. <br /><br />There are several things I would like to tell you that I feel have been part of my transformation: <br /><br /><ol>
<li>I love hearing about your successes with your training. I started to workout 5 days a week and have not looked back! I also know how difficult a front squat is to do!! My favorite thing to do is tell my husband about my WOD and he loves to listen. I also ran 2 - 13.1 1/2 Marathons in the last year with my husband. I am no longer on my Type 2 diabetes medication and have never felt better. </li>
<br />
<li>My husband has always wanted me to be more healthy. He is excited for his new woman/girlfriend. </li>
<br />
<li>I have decided to strive to put your "treat kindly" idea into action; since I did obviously "choose wisely". Recently, my husband had a day off of work. He offered to take my car in for the oil change it desperately needed. <strong>A happy man is wonderful to have around and it does not take much to make him happy</strong>. What a guy!</li>
<br />
<li>I just wish I would have had my attitude adjustment sooner in life...but from here forward, I am going to remain my kids' mom and just as important...my husband's girlfriend. </li>
<br />
<li>I also started putting God's word in my life on a daily basis. I think that has made a huge difference for me too! </li>
</ol><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, for plugging away everyday with the plain truth that people need to hear. <br /><ol> </ol><br />Love you, <br /><br />Jane<br /> <br /> <br /><br /><br />What have you done to make a change in yourself? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-12-08T18:58:00Z
Forging Ahead
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Forging-Ahead/353227495735661362.html
2015-12-08T18:57:00Z
2015-12-08T18:57:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I lost the vision in my right eye due to complications during my pregnancy with my son. My vision had been stable in my left eye for the past 13 years, but it took a sudden turn for the worst. When I got the news that the doctors could do nothing more, my husband of 18 years decided that he didn't want to be married anymore. He couldn't handle me going blind and he had started seeing someone else. <br /><br />After he left, I had to go back to work. I had not worked in 18 years! Luckily, I had gone back to school and completed my degree. Against all odds, I was able to get a job when the unemployment rate was at its highest. I am now working as a social worker. Although I don't make much money, I love my job! I just want to say that people with disabilities might lack body parts, but we make that up in heart and willingness to forge ahead. I have no choice but to keep working. I have to finish raising my son. <br /><br />I am grateful to be able to be able to work while I can, and see my wonderful son! I also get to help people who are in need. <br /><br />Love your show!<br /><br /> <br /><br /><br />Have you ever beat the odds? Tell us about it,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-12-08T18:57:00Z
My Morning Recipe For Success
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Morning-Recipe-For-Success/-847568727001053604.html
2015-12-07T18:58:00Z
2015-12-07T18:58:00Z
<br />Hi, Dr. Laura! <br /><br />I've discovered that what I do the night before makes an enormous difference in my ability to wake up early in the morning. Here's what I do to get prepared:<br /><br /><strong>The Evening Before Work</strong><br />
<ul>
<li>Stop what I'm doing by 9:00pm, at the latest.</li>
<br />
<li>Plan what I'd like to accomplish the next morning before work.</li>
<br />
<li>Make sure everything is tidied up.</li>
<br />
<li>Set my coffee maker to come on at the appointed time.</li>
<br />
<li>After washing up and brushing my teeth, I turn on a a fan for some white noise and climb into bed. I spend a few moments in thanks to God; for the day and asking His blessing throughout the night. </li>
</ul>
<br /><strong>In The Morning</strong><br />
<ul>
<li>When the alarm goes off, I turn on the light. Usually I immediately get out of bed, brush my teeth and head for the coffee. (Once in awhile, I close my eyes again for a couple of minutes) </li>
<br />
<li>I love the quiet of the morning hours and hate rushing--therefore, I allow plenty of time to sit and sip before I'm required to really think or do anything. </li>
<br />
<li>After morning prayers I either work out, work on my parenting blog, practice piano, or sometimes go to the driving range to hit some balls. </li>
<br />
<li>Then to work! </li>
</ul>
I'm recently divorced after 34 years of marriage. Being alone froze me for awhile. You've inspired me to do more than I think I can, and my life has been enormously enriched because of it! <br /><br />Thank you! <br /><br />Kate <br /><br /> <br /><br /><br />Whats the best gift you've received from someone? Tell us about it,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-12-07T18:58:00Z
Draining Relationships
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Draining-Relationships/218145633166228843.html
2015-12-07T18:48:00Z
2015-12-07T18:48:00Z
<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span><br /><br />My criteria for judging a good friend is that I feel happier after a visit. I know I am in bad company when I always feel drained and unhappy after a visit. There are people who will suck the life out of you, if you let them. <br /><br />I have a friend who is a <em>drama queen</em>. She is single, 52 years old and uses her friends to fill the void in her life; by soliciting attention from everyone all the time. The good news is, she will be there for you when you need her. However, she is Ms. personality to EVERYONE. I have come to realize that this just another way for her to always be the center of attention. <br /><br />I try to see the good in people and ignore the rest. In the end, it comes down to a matter of choice. What are you willing to deal with to keep this person in your life; and is it worth it?<br /><br /> <br /><br /><br />Do you have a friendship that sets a good example for your kids? Tell us how you set the bar for your friendships,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-12-07T18:48:00Z
Internalized Wisdom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Internalized-Wisdom/19053667073580583.html
2015-12-04T18:58:00Z
2015-12-04T18:58:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />II have been a devoted listener to your show for more than 18 years. I know exactly long because it was right after I quit my full-time job as a newspaper editor. I wanted to stay home with our second child, who was born with severe disabilities. Our journey with him and our other two children has been filled with challenges as well as joys and through it all, you have provided me more comfort and support than I can ever tell you. <br /><br />I have listened to every show on podcast since iPods were first a thing and you are a constant voice in my head. I even have a pair of turquoise earrings that I received as a prize, for calling years ago when you did a special Valentine's Day show. I'm a New York Times bestselling author, work I still do around my children's schedules, since they are absolutely my first priority. I wear the earrings all the time and think of you each time. I've wanted to write you many times to tell you thank you for the wisdom and guidance you have provided me through the years.<br /><br />Thank you again for the many hours you have been the voice in my head. I've listened to you as I've driven my son to appointments, as we've done physical therapy at home, as I've sat in hospital rooms. You've gone walking in my Utah mountains with me and as I wish dishes and do endless loads of laundry. You've even been in my head as I write. After all these hours and hours of listening to you, I think I've internalized so much of your wisdom (and I hope some of your grace) that it comes through in my characters. <br /><br />With deepest gratitude for your gifts, <br /><br />Diane<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br />Whats the best gift you've received from someone? Tell us about it,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-12-04T18:58:00Z
Closing My Umbrella
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Closing-My-Umbrella/-928145085996849197.html
2015-12-04T18:57:00Z
2015-12-04T18:57:00Z
<br />My mom is 93 and I have had to let her go. It has been very difficult as I always pictured myself taking care of her and making sure her last years were loving ones. Once my younger brother came to live with us about 3 years ago, the family situation became toxic. I became the bank and I was only considered a good daughter if I gave money. <br /><br />After 3 years of abuse, knowing I had always been a good daughter and that my husband was an incredible son-in-law I had to just cut them off. <br /><br />Vicious emails ensued and I was even taken off her visitor gate list. I only wish her peace, but my umbrella is closed. I am getting well, focusing on my blessings and an attitude of gratitude. My amazing husband of 46 years, our 3 sons, 3 daughter-in-laws, and 6 beautiful grandchildren. If I am sad, I refocus. I just can not let them continue to hurt me and my family. I can't let her rain on my family anymore. <br /><br /> <br /><br /><br />Have you had to make a difficult family decision? Tell us about it,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-12-04T18:57:00Z
Letting Go Of Expectations
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Letting-Go-Of-Expectations/-244226652025400453.html
2015-12-03T18:58:00Z
2015-12-03T18:58:00Z
<br />Part of becoming mentally healthy and taking responsibility for your action is self care, even if it means losing something you think you want. My sister Is the one person who created the biggest loss for me. <br /><br />She was not the true loss it was the collateral damage. We have always had a difficult relationship. I was the one who felt responsible to protect her, at a cost to myself. Since I never had children, I wanted to be the best Uncle I could be. I had dreams of what our relationship would be like as they got older and we could do great things together. This is what kept me from leaving the relationship. <br /><br />One day, while on the phone with my sister she began screaming at me and abruptly hung up. That was the last day I was going to let her treat me badly. I held my ground and did not call to apologize. I was tired of apologizing for things I did not do. After a period of time my sister emailed me and said she and her children wanted nothing to do with me. <br /><br />I grieved deeply the loss of my expectation of my relationship with them. I grew into a better person and my life is filled with others who love me as much as I would have thought they would have. I have taken this healing into my work. <br /><br />I am now a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Today I help families to create ways to avoid situations like this. On a daily basis my clients will hear me say, "Dr Laura says.." Other times I hear, "That's what Dr Laura would say!" <br /><br />Thank you personally and professionally for all you say and do.<br /><br />Greg<br /> <br /><br /><br />Have you ever felt better after leaving a relationship? Tell us about it,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-12-03T18:58:00Z
Making Sure He'll Do The Right Thing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Sure-Hell-Do-The-Right-Thing/477109774698717508.html
2015-12-03T18:57:00Z
2015-12-03T18:57:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I'd love to share this lovely moment with you. I always listen to your show whenever we are on the road during your show time. <br /><br />Last Saturday I started the radio, as I always do when we drive. Since it was a Saturday, your show was not on the air that day. As the music began to play on the station that I had selected, out of no where, my 4-year-old, Nikki, blurted out:<br />
<blockquote><em>"I don't want to listen to this one. I want to listen to Dr. Laura."</em></blockquote>
At that moment, I knew that he would do the right thing when he grows up. Listening to your show has helped me to ensure that he's on the right track. <br /><br />Thank you so much for helping me raising my son. <br /><br />Kate<br /><br /><br />Are you a good role model for a teen or child? Tell us your thoughts,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-12-03T18:57:00Z
Nobody Wants To Grow Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Nobody-Wants-To-Grow-Up/-546618828712043616.html
2015-12-02T18:58:00Z
2015-12-02T18:58:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am considered a <em>millennial</em> and I LOVED LOVED LOVED your topic yesterday. The topic was about how our generation are a bunch of sissys, essentially. <br /><br />My husband and I are 31 and 28. We have been married for 3 years, had our first child this year, and never <em>shacked up</em>. Instead, we got married. We are a hard working team. We have our financials in order and purchased our first home this year; not many millennials can do that anymore. <br /><br />It is very common to hear our peers complain and cry about how life is hard. They seem to set goals they never accomplish. With 30 right around the corner, life will soon be lonely. They never found anyone or they were too busy sleeping around, and <em>afraid</em> to commit. Nobody wants to grow up. The 20 - something year-old crowd are just older teenagers that can now purchase alcohol. <br /><br />I am so glad you talked about this topic. It is reaffirmation that we are on the path we should be on. My husband and I have been ridiculed by our peers in the past for our traditional values, foundations, and focuses. However, we don't care. You reap what you sow! Thank you, Dr. Laura, for your daily words of wisdom. <br /><br />Best Regards, <br /><br />Donna<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Do you get ridiculed for your values? Tell us about it,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-12-02T18:58:00Z
Thank You For Encouraging Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You-For-Encouraging-Me/-533022621467394723.html
2015-12-02T18:57:00Z
2015-12-02T18:57:00Z
<br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am a senior in High School and my mom has always listened to your radio show. I was in a terrible relationship and found encouragement to leave in your book, <em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060976497/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0060976497&linkCode=as2&tag=wwwdrlauracom-20&linkId=P4PWXUGA3DPD4SUU" target="_blank">10 Stupid Things Woman Do to Mess up Their Lives</a></em>. <br /><br />I wanted to send you an email and thank you for doing what you do. You are direct and tell people things how they are. I think in a world where everyone is trying so hard to be accepting of others, it is important to have someone like you. Some one to say the truth. There were many times when I would read sentences and cringe because I had thought or had done exactly what you described. Something clicked along the way, because I now see myself a lot differently. <br /><br />Thank you so much for your time reading this email, <br /><br />Margie<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever had to encourage a friend to get out of a dangerous or bad situation? Tell us about it,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-12-02T18:57:00Z
Raising Little Gentlemen
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-Little-Gentlemen/155723171645394831.html
2015-12-01T18:58:00Z
2015-12-01T18:58:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I'm thankful for my health, my family, wonderful friends, and the wise people in the world, like you Dr. Laura. I've been married to my fantastic husband 23 years. I am my kids mom to 4 wonderful boys. I'm incredibly fortunate to have been able to be a stay at home mom. <br /><br />I give you credit because I've been a listener over 20 years. You have reinforced time and time again what's really important in life. You have taught us that life is all about the choices we make. My youngest boys, age 11 and 14, are subjected to you every afternoon on our drive home from school. They get in the car and ask, 'Is Dr. Laura raging today or is she chill?' Ha, they've listened to you enough to know that you can be passionate and intolerant with certain callers. Yet they also get to listen to your compassion and how you reveal your heart to others. I tell my boys that no matter what, you always tell your callers to go "do the right thing". <br /><br />I've borrowed that saying. Although my older boys, 18 and 20, give me the look when I repeat that, they know that doing the right thing is important. I'm all about raising little gentlemen, it's a lot of work! Whether this gets to the air or not, just wanted you to know you've touched many lives and make a huge difference in this world. <br /><br />Thanks Dr. Laura. Thank you for your time, loyalty, honesty and the quick wit you provide day in and day out. <br /><br />May you find yourself on the water soon!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />How do you open your heart to your loved ones? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-12-01T18:58:00Z
Thanks To You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thanks-To-You/504455302427307328.html
2015-12-01T18:57:00Z
2015-12-01T18:57:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I am one of the people who's life you have changed. I made almost every mistake you list on your show. <br /><br />Thanks to you, I have a wonderful husband and a great marriage. I also have an adult son who lives on his own. I listen to your show every day, while I work. I listen to the archives when the daily show is over. I give your books to all the women I know. Most of all, I just wanted you thank you so very much for helping me to be the wife and mother I am today. You are loved and cared about, <br /><br />Julie<strong><br /></strong><br /><br /><br />Who has helped you, when you were in need? Tell us about the people in your life that have made an impact on you,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-12-01T18:57:00Z
Planting Seeds
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Planting-Seeds/614189352077129167.html
2015-11-30T18:58:00Z
2015-11-30T18:58:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />While listening, I noticed that the other day, you sounded discouraged when a shack-up honey chastised you about "judging" her. Dr. Laura, the world NEEDS your brand in-your-face judgement. I am a public school teacher and after years of listening to you, I have become more outspoken on matters of morality. <br /><br />When several of my female students were excitedly talking about writing to guys in prison, I proclaimed, "Don't do it. People in prison are scum. Stay away from them." One girl retorted, "My Daddy's in prison." There was a long awkward pause in which I contemplated getting reprimanded by my liberal administration for "insensitivity", or "micro aggression", or some other such PC nonsense. Then the girl spoke again, "You are right. He IS scum." <br /><br />My point is that we all need to risk offending people to do the right thing and get them on the right track; or at least put forth all the effort we can to do so. <br /><br /><strong>Who knows what seeds we are sowing in young, or not so young minds?</strong><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />What seeds are you sowing? Tell us about your parenting values and teachings,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-30T18:58:00Z
'Old School'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Old-School/220714917932990071.html
2015-11-30T18:57:00Z
2015-11-30T18:57:00Z
Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just wanted to say a quick hello and thank you. I recently discovered your show on Sirius XM radio, I was so excited to have found you again. <br /><br />I first started listening to your show when I was 8 years old. My mom listened to you every day in the car! Now at the age of 28, I'm so excited to know you're still "telling it like it is". I'm now a family premium member and listen to your podcast every day. <br /><br />Thank you for still being "old school" and keeping my moral compass in line. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Who is your moral compass? Tell us about them,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-30T18:57:00Z
A Victory For The Stay At Home Mom Fight
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Victory-For-The-Stay-At-Home-Mom-Fight/-589621556100216332.html
2015-11-24T18:58:00Z
2015-11-24T18:58:00Z
Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />Elisabeth Hasselbeck just made an announcement on "<a href="http://www.foxnews.com/on-air/fox-and-friends/index.html" target="_blank">Fox & Friends</a>" this morning, that she is leaving her job to raise her kids. She said that they need their mommy and she wants to be with them. She said that she wants to give them "the best" and not "what's left." She also described that the top boss/owner helped her walk through the decision and make it, as it was not an easy one - but she knows that it is the right one. <br />
<blockquote><a href="http://video.foxnews.com/v/4629600085001" target="_blank"><strong>Why Elisabeth Hasselbeck Is Leaving Fox News</strong></a></blockquote>
I thought this was a great announcement, Fox allowed her to say everything that she wanted to say. This is definitely a win for the stay at home mom fight! <br /><br />Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!<br /><br /><br /><br />Did your mom sacrifice to make your life better? Tell us about your personal stay at home mom victory,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-24T18:58:00Z
Thankful For Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thankful-For-Dr.-Laura/-21788117421200931.html
2015-11-24T18:57:00Z
2015-11-24T18:57:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just want to tell you how much you have impacted my life. Here are just a couple of recent examples, of the affect that Dr. Laura has had on my family.<br /><br />
<ul>
<li>My husband and son were discussing couples one day. My son looked at his dad and said, "Look, Dad, must couples don't have the type of relationship that you and mom have. You enjoy each others company and do activities together." </li>
<br />
<li>This past Saturday, I spent the whole day with my (maybe) future daughter-in-law. I thought to myself, "What am I going to say to this young lady?" Then I thought of your wisdom. Ask her questions, show that you are interested in her! It was such a delightful day, way beyond my expectations. </li>
</ul>
You have impacted my life so much, I am so grateful to have found you! <br /><br />Cheryl
<ul>
</ul>
<br /><br />Has Dr. Laura helped your life? Tell us how things have changed,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-24T18:57:00Z
Ready To Learn
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ready-To-Learn/585694673261833804.html
2015-11-23T18:58:00Z
2015-11-23T18:58:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />In the 1940's, we did not have kindergarten. We went to first grade at the age of six or older, depending on birth date. I think that kindergarten is unnecessary, even though my wife was a teacher. My five older brothers and five older sisters were already attending school while I very young, so I got to witness the excitement and challenge of school first-hand before going. By the time I was old enough to go, I was looking forward to going to class!<br /><br />By the sixth grade, I was one of the students who read books to the class and was usually the spelling bee champion. There was only one disruptive kid in my class of about twenty kids. The majority of my peers graduated from college, many with graduate degrees. We did not need kindergarten, it was really our parents choice. We were ready to learn when the time came.<br /><br />Thanks so much for all you do!<br /><br />Paul<br /><br /><br /><br />What age do you think it is appropriate for a child to begin school? Share your take on age and education,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-23T18:58:00Z
Laughing Out Loud With Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Laughing-Out-Loud-With-Dr.-Laura/229430117622653570.html
2015-11-23T18:57:00Z
2015-11-23T18:57:00Z
<br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I called you this morning and just wanted to thank you! I have been listening to you for about 3 months now and I'm hooked. <br /><br />I'm a almost 61 years old and live in Southern California. I'm proud to say, I've been married for 30 years now. I use my head set to listen to you while doing chores around the house. You make me laugh out loud!!!! Your smart sharp and cute as a button! <br /><br />Gosh, I hope you never quit your show as you help so many! I hope you have a nice dinner and and a good hike with your son and daughter-in-law this holiday. <br /><br />Hang in there, before you know it your sailing days will be here. <br /><br />Gobble gobble, <br /><br />Anne<br /><br /><br /><br />What's your favorite way to listen to Dr. Laura? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-23T18:57:00Z
Fishing For Innocence
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fishing-For-Innocence/312759903789591499.html
2015-11-20T18:58:00Z
2015-11-20T18:58:00Z
<br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />On yesterday's show, you took a call from a mother that <em>discovered</em> her son was looking at porn rather doing his homework. I always had any "family" access computers located in the family room with the screen facing public areas. <br /><br />When my son was 14, this computer became porn central. I had to re-image the computer to get rid of all the smut. When I traced the source of the problem, I discovered that my son was searching for video gaming "cheat sites" that provide hints for popular video games. My friend told me that the cheat sites target porn to their ideal target market, 14 year old males. After telling my son not to go to any gaming cheat sites and wiping my computer clean, I never had another problem. <br /><br />He wasn't an out of control, disrespectful, rebellious, 14 year old, but an innocent 14 year old that was targeted by gaming cheat sites. <br /><br />Just wanted to share this bit of information with other parents. If your teen is looking at the computer and you are finding ANYTHING strange, take the time to find out what sites your child is on, investigate and be a super sleuth! They could be involved in something more serious than what you may think. The internet is a wide open place, filled with people just fishing for innocence. <br /><br />By the way, my wife has been a "stay at home" mom and we love it!<br /><br />Thanks, <br /><br />Marc<br /><br /><br /><br />What do you do to protect your kids from online scams? Share how you handle this technical parenting problem,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-20T18:58:00Z
Some Parents Are Just Tired Of Watching Their Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Some-Parents-Are-Just-Tired-Of-Watching-Their-Kids/481279219813267231.html
2015-11-20T18:57:00Z
2015-11-20T18:57:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I think having children at weddings is completely up to the couple. There are a million different reasons the bride and groom may choose not include children. It may not even have anything to do with children, but due to cost, space, security, location, etc... There are some couples who are close to lots of children. People who already have children and may want them all there, the more the merrier, in their eyes. You are there to celebrate and support the bride and groom. You should not allow something like this to dampen the mood. <br /><br />We had our wedding in a historical upscale venue. The only children we allowed to attend the wedding were his nieces and nephews from out of state. The children were all ranging in age from 2-6 years old. They screamed through the entire ceremony! They screamed through my sister's Maid of Honor toast! They got chocolate on my dress and then crawled all over us during dinner. <br /><br />All because the parents were tiring of watching their children and wanted to eat in peace...<br /><br />Amy<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you handle the stress of other people's poor parenting? Tell us what you do to deflect poor parenting practices,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-20T18:57:00Z
Passing Words Of Wisdom On To My Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Passing-Words-Of-Wisdom-On-To-My-Family/554458031389730579.html
2015-11-19T18:58:00Z
2015-11-19T18:58:00Z
<br />First and foremost, Thank You Dr. Laura for setting aside part of your day to share your insight. I listen EVERYDAY and try take in everything you say and apply in my own life. I wish my kids were interested in listening!!! <br /><br />I'm hoping that in the minutes before my kids ask to change the radio station, that they at least get one sliver of wisdom. I wish that I would have had Dr. Laura in my life when I started my own adult journey. Looking back there are so many things I would've done differently in preparing for marriage and raising children. Life is really just about family and preparing our kids for adulthood. <br /><br />We've forgotten as a society that love is tough in any relationship and it's not about quitting to make ourselves feel better. It's about the journey and learning from it. So now at this time in my life I'm married with two healthy girls. And as we have our own daily dysfunctional issues, I've really tried to implement some of Dr. Laura's suggestions in my own life. <br /><br />I'm praying that my husband and family will take the hint that there are so many things we could all do differently that what make us a better family unit. Thank you Dr. Laura, for keeping me sane and realistic and motivating me to "just do the right thing." Your wisdom and insight get me through each day. <br /><br />Peace, Love and Hope Sincerely, <br /><br />Dianna<br /><br /><br /><br />Is there something special that you're hoping to improve with your family unit? Tell us what you want to work on,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-19T18:58:00Z
Proceed With Extreme Caution
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Proceed-With-Extreme-Caution/482673743385563790.html
2015-11-19T18:57:00Z
2015-11-19T18:57:00Z
<br /><br />I tried online dating after my wife of 31 years died. I reviewed dozens of women in the age and demographic category I selected. I emailed and spoke on the phone with several of the women I had picked out online. Surprisingly, I actually had a date with a couple of them. I was smitten by the third woman I met and we became exclusive. VERY slowly, over time we got to know each other. I eventually proposed and we went to pre-marital counseling.<br /><br /> Ten years later, we both think we made a great decision. I believe if one uses online dating, they MUST be overly cautious and meticulous about the vetting process. Since both myself and my wife are in our fifties, we learned a lot about the character of the other by meeting and spending time with their respective families. Some of the women who I spoke to were exactly what I had expected from their profile. Although, I have to admit that a good portion of them were also over exaggerated. Even though online dating happened to work for me, I would never suggest this option to anyone unless they were serious about the risks and proceeding with extreme caution.<br /><br />Thanks!<br /><br />John<br /><br /><br /><br />Where is your favorite place to find a date? Tell us what works for you,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-19T18:57:00Z
I Love Kids, But They Are A Handful
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Love-Kids,-But-They-Are-A-Handful/280866157222142691.html
2015-11-18T18:58:00Z
2015-11-18T18:58:00Z
<br />I love children, but whether to have children at weddings depends on lots of factors. Weddings can be long and go well into the night. Some religious ceremonies can take an hour or more. If you add in the time for photos, travel to reception, the length of the reception which can include dinner and dancing late into the night, it is too long and too much for young children to handle. On the other hand, shorter ceremonies, with daytime or more informal settings would be better for young children, IF the couple wishes to go that route. Weddings are ultimately about the COUPLE. It is their day to celebrate as they wish. <br /><br />My own children opted for no children, due to the long ceremonies and formal venues. Some friends were offended and refused to come because they could not bring their children. That was their choice. I love my grandchildren, but I know how they can be when they are tired, bored, and crabby. They are not happy and as a result and neither are the people in their vicinity. <br /><br /><br /><br />Are you looking forward to the special Holiday gatherings this winter? Tell us why,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-18T18:58:00Z
What I'm Thankful For
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Im-Thankful-For/-253539069102171691.html
2015-11-18T18:57:00Z
2015-11-18T18:57:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Last week I celebrated my birthday with my family. My wife had my friends play a game in which they had to answer questions about me, to see how well they knew me. <br /><ol> </ol>The next day I made a list of 10 questions, so that my 9 and 15 year old daughters could also play the game. I'm thankful to say they got the two most important questions right. <br /><ol>
<li>"Who does Dada love most?" They both answered, "Mama!" </li>
<br />
<li>"What is Dada's favorite thing to do?" Again they answered in unison, "To spend time with us!" </li>
</ol>One of my goals is to make it crystal clear to my daughters that I love them and my wife more than anything else. I'm thankful they got the message. <br /><br />Best regards, <br /><br />Pat <br /><br /><br /><br />Have you had a proud parenting moment? Tell us about it,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-18T18:57:00Z
Just Listen!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Just-Listen!/41620902801513480.html
2015-11-17T18:58:00Z
2015-11-17T18:58:00Z
<br />Dr Laura, <br /><br />The other day, I was in a situation with my daughters that I think you would find funny and make you proud. It sure made ME proud!! <br /><br />I was driving with my two pre-teen daughters, to their music lessons. Like always, We were listening to your show. My 11 year old was whining to me, "Why do we always have to listen to Dr Laura?". Most of the time, she would rather listen to music. She kept on and I told her that you give a lot of great advice. That she could learn a lot from you, just by listening to you and the problems people are going through. Her response was that she "wasn't going to learn much". My 13 year old instantly became annoyed by her <em>little </em>sister. All of a sudden, my older daughter spoke up and told her younger sister, "Just listen! You CAN learn from her! Especially how NOT to marry a STUPID guy!!" I smiled from ear to ear. <br /><br />My husband and I have listened to you for 20 years and your advice is always helpful. <br /><br />Thank you so much for all you do!<br /><br />Diane<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you had a proud parenting moment? Tell us about it,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-17T18:58:00Z
Making A Better Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-A-Better-Life/-117655885738027788.html
2015-11-17T18:57:00Z
2015-11-17T18:57:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was thinking this morning about how much I have learned from your show and how I am grateful for the people who have been courageous enough to call in. <br /><br />It takes guts to tell someone about your problems. They may give you advice you are not ready to hear. You have chosen to be honest and forthright with people, despite the backlash you receive in return. I appreciate your integrity. I appreciate the brave people who call in. <br /><br />The daily advice I get from your program has helped tremendously to make myself and my family better people.<br /><br />Kim<br /><br /><br /><br />What are you thankful for this year? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-17T18:57:00Z
Helping Hands Make Better Mommies
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Helping-Hands-Make-Better-Mommies/841648432922213518.html
2015-11-16T18:58:00Z
2015-11-16T18:58:00Z
<br />I just wanted to tell Dr. Laura that she is my adopted Mother. I started crying the other day, when I heard her get choked up. She received a call from a women who told her how she had saved her Mother. She also helped the woman deal with her anxiety and her child, who was mirroring her anxiety. <br /><br />I am 42 and my Mother, who passed away 3 years ago, listened to you all the time in the car. She even carried around a little radio while she was cleaning the house. You were in our head all the time. I know have you on one shoulder and my Mom on the other, helping me daily to be a better Mommy and Wife. It is a work in progress. <br /><br />I just wanted to say how grateful I am for your voice and words each day. I record snip its on my phone when I need to listen to them over and over again; a little nagging helps me. I just don't know what I would do without your help each day. I thank you for being here for all of us. My two boys always say, "Dr. Laura's ON RIGHT NOW!!!!!" <br /><br />Thank you, <br /><br />Genie<br /><br /><br /><br />What special person in your life helps to make you a better spouse and parent? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-16T18:58:00Z
Shopping and Pet Peeves
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Shopping-and-Pet-Peeves/251176756845176486.html
2015-11-16T18:57:00Z
2015-11-16T18:57:00Z
<br /><br />My biggest pet peeve has to do with manners and customer service answering the phone. <br /><br />I can't count the number of times that I have been in the middle of being waited on by a customer service representative when the phone rings. They stop what they are doing, <br />answer the phone and then proceed to help the person on the phone. This ALWAYS leaving me having to wait patiently, while being totally ignored, all at the same time. It never fails to leave me confused and frustrated. I am the person physically in the store spending money. The person on the phone usually is not spending money or purchasing. Most of the time, they are just looking for information. <br /><br />If the customer service representative would just answer the phone and then ask them to hold, I would have no problem. I understand they have to stop the phones from ringing and that they have other clients that may need help. <br /><br />The issue I have is really with the lack of professional courtesy when shopping these days. I also find that no one has time to properly help you anymore. It's all about the sale and getting the next wallet in the door. As time goes by, less and less customer service people seem to have a genuine care for their job or their customers. <br /><br />Jim<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever had a terrible shopping experience? What made it so bad? Tell us about it,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-16T18:57:00Z
Personal Deal Breakers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Personal-Deal-Breakers/217824879095999081.html
2015-11-13T18:58:00Z
2015-11-13T18:58:00Z
<br /><br />Every girl has a list of personal deal breakers! I just had to share mine. <br /><br /><ol>
<li>My name is not easy to pronounce or remember the correct pronunciation. Some men won't even try and want to give me a nick name. If he doesn't want to learn my name he probably isn't interested in working on a relationship. </li>
<br />
<li>If he mentions sex on the first date, it tells me where his interests are - it's a big red flag no matter how good looking he is and how hot I could be for him - deal's off! </li>
<br />
<li>He talks only about himself and doesn't ask me any questions about my life. I am outta there after the first hour; which was too long.</li>
<br />
<li>Too much sweet talk, too many compliments, and my intuition kicks in that this guy is desperate - it may have been nice in small doses but too much of a good thing is just too much! </li>
<br />
<li>He must open doors for me or he is history, I expect to be treated like a lady. Manners is a must.</li>
</ol><br />Thanks for letting me share my thoughts, <br /><br />Lea<br /><br /><br /><br />What do you think is inappropriate when starting to date a new person? Share your thoughts with us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-13T18:58:00Z
Tips For Less Stress During The Holidays
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Tips-For-Less-Stress-During-The-Holidays/255419003650283133.html
2015-11-13T18:57:00Z
2015-11-13T18:57:00Z
<br />When cooking a casserole dish, like our favorite turkey spinach lasagna or Christmas quiche, I always triple it and make three. One for now, one or two to freeze for later. I usually use these for an unexpected visit or to give away as a gift/or to a needy friend. It's so good to share something "made" with family and friends as gifts of love.<br /><br /> I also like to have 3-5 appetizer type dishes on hand for taking to a last minute party or when entertaining on a moment's notice. <br /><br />Lastly, I buy extra teacher, hostess gifts to have on hand for last minute needs. I buy them in the summer when on sale and try to get multiples of things I love...that way if they don't get all given away, I will gladly keep and use them.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have any holiday tricks? Share your thoughts with us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-13T18:57:00Z
When To Stay And When To Leave
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-To-Stay-And-When-To-Leave/-206138437143177995.html
2015-11-12T18:58:00Z
2015-11-12T18:58:00Z
<br />Marriage is about the commitment you made, not only for you and your spouse, but for everyone involved. God especially. If the spouse is an abuser, alcoholic or drug abuser and they are not seeking help, then they should take a hike. Everything else can be worked on until the cows come home. <br /><br />You made this choice and maybe it's not ideal. Maybe that person over there is better looking or is taller, leaving is not acceptable. As long as the other person loves you and is willing to work on the marriage, you should continue to work on it. <br /><br />When it comes to dating, it's grayer for me. If the significant other isn't the one you want, for whatever the reason, then you need to pull the plug and move on. It is not fair to you or to the other person if you keep them in the relationship with no real intentions of moving forward. It's not always right, but you shouldn't be somewhere you don't want to be. <br /><br />Carl<br /><br /><br /><br />When do you think it is appropriate to work on your relationships and when do you cut your losses? Share your thoughts with us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-12T18:58:00Z
I Appreciate My Mama Bear
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I--Appreciate-My-Mama-Bear/254220511822916934.html
2015-11-12T18:57:00Z
2015-11-12T18:57:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />You had a call about a student whose teacher embarrassed her and how to handle the situation. Hearing your answer reminded me of a personal story and how my own mother handled a similiar situation more than 25 years ago. <br /><br />I was sitting in my History class and had answered a question incorrectly. I must have had a puzzled look on my face because the teacher responded with, "Don't give me that innocent look; we all know you aren't that innocent." For the record I was THAT innocent. <br /><br />Before becoming a mother, my mom was a teacher. She was wildly active in her children's educational activities. She knew many teachers as well as administrators. Immediately after class, I went to my Vice Principals office and called my mom; who came rolling in like thunder. <br />My mother confronted the teacher who looked at me and apologized. My mother said, "NO, NO....you embarrassed her in front of her class. You'll apologize to her in front of her class."<br /><br />I was a bit mortified at the prospect of re-addressing the whole thing. Your words to that caller has made me appreciate my mama bear all the more. Thank you for standing behind all mama bears! Heather<br /><br /><br /><br />Has your mama bear ever accidentally embarrassed you, while trying to stuck up for you? Tell us what happened,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-12T18:57:00Z
Today's Entitlement Trend
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Todays-Entitlement-Trend/-903247214200568493.html
2015-11-11T18:58:00Z
2015-11-11T18:58:00Z
<br />So many young people just go through ahead of you and let the door slam in your face. A simple "Hello" from the cashier when you are checking out at the grocery store, or another merchant is always appreciated. And it just makes you feel good too. In today's time, They rarely deliver even a "Thank you". <br /><br />I feel compelled to say thank you to them. You never know when some one else is having a rough day. They may need a smile to change a single train of thought. <br /><br />Disappointingly, it seems that the trend today is one of entitlement. I should feel blessed that they are allowing me to hand them my money. I forgot that they were doing me the favor. It seems like now you just get treated as if you are just the person paying the bill. That's all...no big deal, right?<br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura for letting me post my 2 cents! <br /><br />Jen<br /><br /><br />What's your pet peeve with manners in today's society? Share it with us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-11T18:58:00Z
What's Breakfast?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Whats-Breakfast/-307115296369037101.html
2015-11-11T18:57:00Z
2015-11-11T18:57:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just wanted to share a comment that my daughter shared with me that she learned in Health class. <br /><br />I caught the end of a caller this afternoon who was worried about getting Alzheimer's disease. Her mom was diagnosed and she was nervous that she would also possibly have the disease. I also worry about that. My grandmother had died as a cause of the disease. My husband's grandmother also has Alzheimer's disease. <br /><br />My kid had quite the sense of humor when she popped out with, "it's not that you forgot where you put your car keys. It's that you forget what to do with them. THAT'S when you need to start worrying." <br /><br />I can't remember what i had for breakfast today, but I don't worry about that anymore!!<br /><br /><br /><br />Has your child ever surprised you with their thoughts? Tell us how,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-11T18:57:00Z
Marry The Man Who Will Help You To The Bathroom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Marry-The-Man-Who-Will-Help-You-To-The-Bathroom/-523342982086212756.html
2015-11-10T18:58:00Z
2015-11-10T18:58:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />This is a note to thank you for the wisdom you share. You have been one of my constant companions since my first child was born. I pray that those in need actually hear you and heed your advice.<br /><br /> I have been married to the best guy in the world for 28 yrs. He is a wonderful provider and an all around good guy. Our sons sometimes overhear me listening to your calls. They just shake their heads and question how some individuals can make and repeat such bad decisions. Perhaps one of the more positive and unexpected benefits of listening to you in the carwas that they absorbed your advice from a young age. You have and continue to impact lives. Thank you. <br /><br />I am also including a link to a Washington Post piece I saw this morning and I loved the headline. This is something that anyone who is considering marriage should read. It sounds like something that all should put on a wish list for who they marry. <br /><br />
<blockquote><strong><a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/soloish/wp/2015/11/05/marry-the-person-who-will-help-you-to-the-bathroom/?tid=sm_fb" target="_blank">Marry The Person Who Will Help You To The Bathroom</a> </strong><br /><br />"<span>Singles should keep their eyes open for these signs. They’re more telling than a person’s job, salary, ambition or education; whether he or she is the “right age”; has the perfect body; or can dazzle you with their charm and wit."</span></blockquote>
<br />Thanks for all you do, XOXO, <br /><br />De<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have an article you'd like to share? Share it with us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-10T18:58:00Z
Mom's ALWAYS Find Out
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Moms-ALWAYS-Find-Out/-621140060563935277.html
2015-11-10T18:57:00Z
2015-11-10T18:57:00Z
<br />I remember the stupidest lie I told as a kid. I was a teen at a party and didn't bother to come home or call my parents to let them know I was ok. <br /><br />I decided that I could get away with going to the party without having to check in; I thought I was that smooth. While in the midst of enjoying myself, the phone range. I picked up my friend's phone. When I answered the call, I knew it was my mother. <br /><br />She asked me if I was at Mary's house. For some odd reason, I lied and told her I wasn't there. For crying out loud! She called Mary's house on purpose, knowing that I was probably already there. Then I had answered her call! Regardless, I was stubborn. I refused to admit that I was at the party. Even though she called the house and I had answered, I was under the illusion that I could get out of trouble. We went round and round with my mom saying, repeatedly, "no! I'm not here!". <br /><br />So, Don't lie, kids. Moms ALWAYS find out. <br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever been caught with your hand in the cookie jar? What happened? Share your story,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-10T18:57:00Z
My Marriage Motto
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Marriage-Motto/-85691631498172799.html
2015-11-09T18:57:00Z
2015-11-09T18:57:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been listening to your program for 27 years and this month my husband and I will be celebrating our 30th anniversary. Our 30 years have had many ups and downs, as all relationships do, but we have worked very hard to make a good marriage and to show our 3 kids what two people that love each other are willing to do to remain happy. <br /><br />Several years ago you made a comment on your show that has stayed with me. I have passed it on to others as well. This has become my motto through the years!
<blockquote><em><strong> "When you wake up in the morning, think about what you can do to make your spouse's day better and glad that they are married to you." </strong></em></blockquote>
Thank you for your wonderful words of wisdom and your commitment to bettering the lives of families and children. <br /><br />Love and respect, <br /><br />Leslie <br /><br /><br /><br />What's your personal motto? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-09T18:57:00Z
I Married A Child Of Divorce
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Married-A-Child-Of-Divorce/-846656949441103703.html
2015-11-06T18:58:00Z
2015-11-06T18:58:00Z
<br />I was raised by parents who instilled in me more traditional values. I also had a strong character. I think this was partially because of my love for reading, church attendance, prayer and my extended family with traditional values. <br /><br />When I was 19, I started dating a young man from my church. He was a child of divorce. His dad divorced his mother when he was 4 years old. He was the first kid in his school class to have divorced parents. His mother was a very strong Christian. Somehow, she understood that she should not remarry. She had a chance or two, but she never took advantage of the opportunity. This was mainly for the sake of her son. He witnessed his dad go through 2 more marriages and had shared some negative times when visiting his dad's place. With the other women and their kids there was not a lot of room for him. <br /><br />Now this man is my husband. My mom warned me about dating kids of divorce. I was young. I did have a strong head on my shoulders in some ways. I was also naive in other ways. Maybe I got lucky? He and I dated 5 years, got married and have been married another 18 years. We are now both 41 years. We were clear at first, the marriage was about me being a stay at home mom and supportive wife. To make the family and home that he missed out on earlier in life. I've been amazed at this Man. He credits me with being the architect of our family. But he grew and learned and also taught me. We grew up together. Being married as "children" was hard at times. But we truly loved each other and matured. Marrying a divorced kid? Yes, be careful. <br /><br />My Hubby and I are are madly in love with each other and our two kids. I'm grateful for the validation of "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060520620/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0060520620&linkCode=as2&tag=wwwdrlauracom-20&linkId=5AWR3PAVKGV2KTFV" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a>" and "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0061142824/noxsolutions-20/ref=nosim" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage</a>" as well as your views Dr. Laura. After a total of 22 years with my Man, I am finally feeling validation.<br /><br />Thank you!<br /><br /><br /><br />How does your spouse amaze you? Tell us how,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-06T18:58:00Z
This Family Made Their Kids The Priority
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/This-Family-Made-Their-Kids-The-Priority/-580060368304779043.html
2015-11-06T18:57:00Z
2015-11-06T18:57:00Z
<br />I had seen this story on the internet today and I had to share. The article is about a family who downsized their home size so that the Mom could stay home with their children.<br />
<blockquote>
<p><strong>How a Family of 5 Gained ‘Shocking’ Freedom by Downsizing to 850-Square-Foot Home</strong></p>
<span><span>"Talya says their move — which has given them a hefty $1,350 more a month than they used to have, since their $1,800-per-month mortgage shrank to $450 with the new property — was an “easy decision” once she decided to stop working at her job as a college administrator. “I tried to go back to work after my son was born … [but] as I was sitting in my office looking around, I just realized that it wasn’t worth it … I wanted to stay home and be with my family full time.”</span></span> <br /><br />If you'd like to read the full article, <a href="https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/how-family-of-5-in-850-sq-foot-house-gained-155105691.html" target="_blank">please click here.</a></blockquote>
<br />I found it spot on for many of the reasons that you advocate. Having a parent, usually the mom, staying at home with the children is pivotal to their upbringing. It can be done, obviously, but is a matter of heavy priority. I'm glad this family made their children their priority. Hopefully, as people listen to you, they too will make the right decision.<br /><br />Enjoy! And thank you for all your fantastic advice. <br /><br />Heather<br /><br /><br /><br />Are you currently a working mom that would like to be a stay at home mommy? Tell us what you are doing to try to hit your goal,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-06T18:57:00Z
A General Lack Of Courtesy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-General-Lack-Of-Courtesy/-903063285284122591.html
2015-11-05T18:58:00Z
2015-11-05T18:58:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />We have such a lack of manners in our society it is just shocking. I took the time to make a short list of what I think have been some major contributing factors to today's lack of courtesy. I had to share it with you.<a id="e3" class="test_domainLink e_" href="http://www.google.com/aclk?sa=L&ai=C2URqUro7Vuv9M4uwfP2wp5AD7-2HmQTvp7v0cp7D8BUIABABIJXRpRFgyd7ohsijkBnIAQHIAxuqBB5P0AtOsTWif37oW-fdW4mFq9ZVDT26mF-UCXtwpv6AB4_T0iyQBwGoB6a-G9gHAQ&sig=AOD64_2ImQekjPVT8Zwm1qT9vgEPbm2ShQ&adurl=http://us.wow.com/search%3Fs_pt%3Daolsem%26s_it%3Daolsem%26s_chn%3D80%26q%3Dcourtesy&clui=0&nb=1&res_url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thesaurus.com%2Fbrowse%2Fcourtesy&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thesaurus.com%2Fbrowse%2Fmanners&nm=11" target="_top"><span dir="ltr"><strong></strong></span></a><br /><ol>
<li><strong>News talk show hosts: </strong>The guests, as well as the news commentators, all talk at once and try to out yell each other. The viewers usually cannot even hear the individual views of the guests. In the end, I just turn the channel; it's like sitting in a living room with a bunch of people in an argument. Trying to watch is just difficult, especially if you're trying to keep peace of mind or relax. </li>
<br />
<li><strong>Cell phones: </strong>They're everywhere! They seem to be taking over basic human contact. We see them in restaurants, on hiking trails, on beaches etc. etc. To add insult to injury, the person on his or her cell phone is usually trying to speak over every one else in the room. At least with texting we don't have to listen to the conversations. </li>
<br />
<li><strong>People being loud or rude in restaurants and other public places:</strong> The big "WOOO HOOO" and hand slap every few minutes is so obnoxious. It's all about being noticed. I am SO important that I HAVE to do something to be noticed. </li>
<br />
<li><strong>Please and thank you ARE important:</strong> Nowadays when you thank someone the usual response is "no problem". I guess that's slightly better than nothing. </li>
</ol>I grew up in a home where manners were important and being too loud was considered rude. I raised my son the same way; he is sophisticated and respected because he respects others. I am your age Dr. Laura, so maybe we grew up in a different, kinder and more gentle era. Since it looks like parents are not doing their job teaching their children, we can put it on the schools and churches to do it. <br /><br />I don't know what the answer is, but I hope there is one. Thanks for letting us air our views. <br /><br />Love reading your emails, <br /><br />Lisa<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Do you think that people these days are less courteous than ever? Tell us your thoughts,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-05T18:58:00Z
A 'Good' Reason For Separate Finances?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Good-Reason-For-Separate-Finances/970020838938446094.html
2015-11-05T18:57:00Z
2015-11-05T18:57:00Z
<br />My wife secretly opened her own bank account. She opened the account around time of her first affair. I found out about the affair after all was said and done. It was a prelude to her attempt to separate and divorce. However, I don't think the bank account, in and of itself, was the major problem. <br /><br />Like many couple issues, joint or separate bank accounts can be good or bad. I believe it has more to do with what reasons you have behind your actions that matter the most. Even the secrecy behind the separate bank account is neither good nor bad - it's the reason for the secrecy that matters. <br /><br />If a couple is not open to each other, they are not a bonded to one another, regardless of what one or both think.<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever discovered a hidden agenda of a loved one? How did you handle your discovery? Tell us what happened,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-05T18:57:00Z
Dear Future Daughter-In-Law
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dear-Future-Daughter-In-Law/573306543301305923.html
2015-11-04T18:58:00Z
2015-11-04T18:58:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I can only assume the author of this article is a listener of yours. Reading her words reminded me so much of your teachings! <br /><br />This author wrote a letter to her future daughter-in-law. Even though her son is still just a kid, she's already making a few promises to his future wife. I thought you'd really appreciate this woman's train of thought. I wish more mothers of little boys, including my own mother, were willing to realize early on how much power they can have in their child's future marriage.<br /><br />
<blockquote><strong>Dear Future Daughter-In-Law...<br /></strong></blockquote>
<blockquote>
<p><em>"Dear future daughter-in-law,</em></p>
<p><em>I don’t want to screw this up! I really, really don’t.</em></p>
<p><em>My oldest son came out to me as “straight” a few years ago, and he’s a real romantic who has mentioned on numerous occasions that he’d love to be married someday. This would eventually make me a mother-in-law to you, my daughter-in-law, and as we all know, that relationship has had a nasty reputation for centuries and centuries as being one of the most volatile ones known to mankind. I’d like to think that you and I could be the exception."</em></p>
</blockquote>
<strong>Please click here to read the entire article:</strong> <a href="http://kristinakuzmic.com/dear-future-daughter-in-law/" target="_blank">Dear future daughter-in-law…</a><br /><br /><br />Thanks for preaching' and teaching'. My entire household loves and appreciates you! <br /><br />Dave<br /><br /><br /><br />How did you welcome your new daughter-in-law into your family? Tell us your story,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-04T18:58:00Z
Today's Decline In Standards
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Todays-Decline-In-Standards/-415346896360426725.html
2015-11-04T18:57:00Z
2015-11-04T18:57:00Z
<br />The <em>Baby Boom</em> generation is the last generation tied to the hard work and sacrifices of our parents' generation. <br /><br />They overcame the depression, as well as World War ll! Their everyday encounters with their children had passed on the values that helped to shape post World War ll America. All that has been erased in the succeeding generations of Americans. <br /><br />We called our friend's parents by Mr. & Mrs. We respected our classmates and friends. The changing culture in America has led to the moral decline and the blossoming of the <em>Me</em> generation. Our music's lyrics of "Take good care of my Baby", is now replaced with violent and sexual overtones. At sixty-eight years old, I have become extremely cynical and hold great concern for the future of America. I hope they prove me wrong.<br /><br />Paul<br /><br /><br /><br />Are you concerned for the future generation? Tell us your why,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-04T18:57:00Z
Properly Caring For And Feeding My Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Properly-Caring-For-And-Feeding-My-Husband/812990814580319181.html
2015-11-03T18:58:00Z
2015-11-03T18:58:00Z
<br /><br />I wanted to thank you for your book, '<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060520620/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0060520620&linkCode=as2&tag=wwwdrlauracom-20&linkId=5AWR3PAVKGV2KTFV" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a>'. Although I consider my marriage a very good one, I took the book with me on vacation. For some reason, I was really interested in hearing your advice. While reading and lounging on the beach I found that the majority of the guidance you gave were things I was already doing in our marriage. I even ended up with the same results that you did. <br /><br />I laughed a few times as the advice seemed so basic. I realized something. Although we all have our moments, our marriage has lasted 31 plus years because of mutual compassion and respect. We both work on our parts to remain connected and in love.<br /><br /> Well, that evening, instead of going out to dinner, I made a nice meal in the place we were renting. I set the table on the balcony and we simply enjoyed watching the sun set into the ocean together. Life and marriage are only getting better. <br /><br />Andrea<br /><br /><br /><br />Which book by Dr. Laura made you think about your life? Tell us your story,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-03T18:58:00Z
Red Flags With Joint Finances
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Red-Flags-With-Joint-Finances/966608722023133367.html
2015-11-03T18:57:00Z
2015-11-03T18:57:00Z
<br />Opening up a new bank account doesn't have to be a red flag in your relationship.<br /><br />If the person is financially responsible then there should not be much of a problem. I opened my first checking account when I was 10 years old. I had a newspaper route. It turned out to be the most convenient way to manage my account. From that time going forward, I was responsible for my own personal expenses. This included school lunches, clothes, transportation, musical instruments and entertainment. After high school, I put myself through trade school and college. <br /><br />For someone like me, the thought of a shared checking account seemed ridiculous. My wife disagreed at first, but soon forgot about it because she had her own money and I took on paying all the bills. If someone is not responsible enough to maintain a separate checking account, then marriage may not be a good idea at all. <br /><br />Jerry<br /><br /><br />What do you think of a spouse keeping a separate bank account? Tell us your thoughts,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-03T18:57:00Z
Where Has 'Excuse Me' Gone?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Where-Has-Excuse-Me-Gone/11753766520235074.html
2015-11-02T18:58:00Z
2015-11-02T18:58:00Z
I saw your email today regarding manners...Where has 'Excuse Me' and 'Yes Ma'am or Sir' gone? Yes, I live in the south, where Yes Ma'am and Yes Sir are more commonly used. The sound of "Yeah" is so rude, in my opinion. The words "Excuse Me" are rarely uttered from the mouths of children. <br /><br />It seems like they are not taught to use this form of etiquette from any one, any more. Holding the door open for anyone is also a lost form of etiquette. Heaven forbid that someone offer a kind thank you when one does open the door or hold the door open for someone. The good examples from parents Mom and Dad are not being taught in today's world.<br /><br />Thank you, for all that you do Dr. Laura! <br /><br /><br /><br />What do you think of manners today? Tell us your thoughts,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-02T18:58:00Z
Seeing my CoWorker's Children In Daycare
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Seeing-my-CoWorkers-Children-In-Daycare/-994050777834677794.html
2015-11-02T18:57:00Z
2015-11-02T18:57:00Z
Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I work with a handful of women that have their children in daycare. Trust me, it makes me sick just as it does to you. I over-heard one mother tell another "I want my children in daycare so they will get used to being around other children." I wanted to fall over! It made me so angry to hear that and the insane logic behind this. They don't "deserve" to have these children. <br /><br />These kids need parents committed to training them...at home, and not by a daycare provider. I wish that these people would listening to your program! Keep up the good work. I'm so glad I finally got a new car equipped with Sirius XM. I often drive around on my lunch break, just so I can listen. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Ted <br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have friends that put their children in daycare? Tell us how this makes you feel,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-11-02T18:57:00Z
Checking Off MY To-Do List
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Checking-Off-MY-To-Do-List/-276919642153041233.html
2015-10-29T17:58:00Z
2015-10-29T17:58:00Z
Hi Dr. Laura! <br /><br />As a pre-teen, I owned "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060976497/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0060976497&linkCode=as2&tag=wwwdrlauracom-20&linkId=P4PWXUGA3DPD4SUU" target="_blank">Ten Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives</a>". I thought to myself, "where did I put that book when I was busy acting stupid and messing up my life?" <br /><br />I became an unmarried, single mother just about a month before giving birth to my son. It was from that point on that I had to fight with every ounce of power in my body. I had to go to court several times a year for 5 years to keep my son. <br /><br />Fast forward to yesterday when I picked my son up from school. We came home, had a snack and began to try to do homework. I tried everything to get him to cooperate with me. Even going as far as using candy corn to illustrate subtraction to him! When we got to his least favorite subject, Spelling, this was not on HIS agenda and he got very upset. He crumpled up the papers, screamed and called me names; ripping and throwing things along the way. Without me raising my voice even a hair, he had flown off the handle. <br />This was not the first time his anger has been present and I was very upset over this. He woke up equally uncooperative the next day as he was getting ready for school. I dropped him off at his class and continued on my way. <br /><br />As I went to work, I felt drained. I thought I was doing everything right. In my mind, I believed I had every right to be upset with him. After settling in at work and shaking off the previous night, I tuned into your show late, but for some reason decided to re-start the program. It was a good thing that I did! I was blessed to hear the very beginning commentary of a father describing the exact same situation. <br /><br />I was brought back to Earth with your response. You said it's too much for a 6 year old and the child had enough. I was so set on checking off the me to-do list, I neglected to do what my son needed. I thank you so much for the service you provide to families as well as your guidance.<br /><br />Lots of respect and thanks again! <br /><br />Laura<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever made a parenting mistake? Tell us what happened,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-10-29T17:58:00Z
Facing Tough Decisions With An Open Mind
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Facing-Tough-Decisions-With-An-Open-Mind/16650447282548753.html
2015-10-29T17:57:00Z
2015-10-29T17:57:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am emailing you to thank you for some help you gave me a few months ago in regard to my daughter. She wanted to go to Hawaii to work on a project. At that time you told me that now is the time she should be doing these type of things. That I should support her decision to travel and explore. <br /><br />It has now been about 8 weeks. She has been saving and tomorrow morning she will be headed to Kona to work as a cooks helper. I prayed a lot over these past few weeks and found comfort in doing so. I also found peace with you advice. I am grateful for your words of wisdom and appreciate the help you have given to me over the last 15 years. It has helped me to be a better Mother to my children, a fun loving girlfriend to my husband and an overall better person. <br /><br />I appreciate all you do. You have made the tough decisions I have faced more bearable, by opening my mind to change. I hope that this adventure that my daughter is headed on will be one that will be an enjoyable experience for her. I think this will be very rewarding to her emotional well-being too. I'm hoping she will send you a postcard from Hawaii! <br /><br />Have a great day and thank you again,<br /><br />Tina<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a success story about letting your baby chick fly the nest? Tell us about it,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-10-29T17:57:00Z
Some People Do Learn From Their Past Experiences
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Some-People-Do-Learn-From-Their-Past-Experiences/-934946893239228429.html
2015-10-28T17:58:00Z
2015-10-28T17:58:00Z
<br />My husband and I preferred that our two children not date anyone whose parents were divorced. When the going gets tough, and it always does, we didn't want their spouses to think that walking out the marriage was an easy option. <br /><br />Our daughter met someone in college whose father had died. We did not learn until after they were serious that his parents divorced. His mom was married and her dad had been divorced not once, but twice. Fortunately for us, My son-in law is a keeper! He asked our daughter before they got married if she would quit work when they had kids. He had come home from school every day to an empty house with no food. He didn't want his kids to experience that or live with only one parent. She said yes. <br /><br />Some people can learn from their experience and avoid passing it on to the next generation by working extra hard. They have been married 23 years. We have been married 49 years! <br /><br />Catherine<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a success story about beating the odds? Tell us about it,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-10-28T17:58:00Z
Setting And Reaching Your Goals
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Setting-And-Reaching-Your-Goals/444871833544470027.html
2015-10-28T17:57:00Z
2015-10-28T17:57:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Not too long ago, I signed myself up for a kitchen challenge. Every day for 20 days, I would receive an email with a certain task to complete for my kitchen. The end result is to have a tidy, organized and stocked kitchen ready for anything! I am a pretty tidy woman, as cleaning can relieve stress for me. When I read some of the days challenges I found myself saying, I've done that! I do that! That's clean! Then I would I would skip to the next day, without fully completing the previous task. <br /><br />I heard you in the back of my mind saying, "You might have done it your way, but not the way I'm telling you to do it!" With this resonating in my mind I said to myself, the point Dr. Lara is making is right. I may already have a tidy & organized kitchen, but I haven't fully complete the tasks in the challenge. I am pleased to inform you that I decided to get down to business and completed the challenge wholeheartedly! Listening to this piece of advise from you has led me to accomplish a seemingly small challenge. More importantly, I am proud of my self for setting & reaching this goal. <br /><br />Thanks for all you do! <br /><br />Brit<br /><br /><br /><br />Have ever met a goal that made you proud? Tell us about it,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-10-28T17:57:00Z
Learning From Your Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-From-Your-Kids/-429594994832522405.html
2015-10-27T17:58:00Z
2015-10-27T17:58:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I thought I'd share a story about the kind of person we have the pleasure of calling our daughter. I realize that we cannot take full credit, but I would like to think that encouraging our kids to help others through example has had some impact. <br /><br />A few years ago, our daughter began taking homeless people to lunch. At first this was terrifying to me and my husband! She always told us that she would have the person walk to the restaurant they would be dining at and that she made certain it was a busy place. She would then buy their food and herself something. Then she would just talk to them and listen. We tried to figure out how to tell her not to do this. We were not sure if was the right to do do. We struggled with our decision as we worried for her safety. She would always respond, "They need someone to talk to and it's so neat how they are so grateful for what they do have." <br /><br />Last weekend, a homeless man asked us for money. We noticed a Waffle House on the corner. Instead of handing him money, we asked if he'd like to join us for a late dinner. We were moved by the gratitude that this man had for such a small thing. We finally truly understood all the things that our daughter had told us about her experiences. Sharing a meal seemed to have more of an impact than simply giving this man a few bucks. <br /><br />We have dedicated ourselves to raising decent children. I am amazed every day by the things they teach me. <br /><br />With gratitude for all the advice you have given to me, <br /><br />Cecilia<br /><br /><br /><br />Have your children taught you an important lesson? Tell us what you learned,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-10-27T17:58:00Z
I Can't Wait To Be My Husband's Girlfriend
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Cant-Wait-To-Be-My-Husbands-Girlfriend/111763425780758606.html
2015-10-27T17:57:00Z
2015-10-27T17:57:00Z
Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I wanted to take a minute to share a conversation between my mom and me. I was chatting with my mom on the phone and shared with her that I was going to be looking at a house that weekend with my boyfriend. <br /><br />Knowing full well, that he and I both own our own separate homes already, and do not live together, my mom asked me, "Are you guys looking at renting your current homes and getting a place to live in together?" Disgusted, I told her, "No, until I'm married to the man, as Dr. Laura would say, I will not shack up and be his unpaid whore!" <br /><br />I want to thank you for what you do on the radio every day. Because of you, I can't wait to someday be "my husband's girlfriend," instead of my boyfriends "unpaid whore." <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Amy<br /><br /><br /><br /><span>Where do you draw the line before marriage? Tell us your opinion,</span><span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-10-27T17:57:00Z
How To Be Great Holiday Visitors
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-To-Be-Great-Holiday-Visitors/-870927344921921436.html
2015-10-26T17:58:00Z
2015-10-26T17:58:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I had to write before the holidays hit with a pet-peeve of mine. I have had negative experiences when family comes to stay with us during the holidays. I often hear my mother and my coworkers complaining about the same problems during this season. It may have been for a summer vacation, a holiday or just as snowbirds. We have all noticed that our families tend to take advantage of being our guest. They leave lights on all over the house, take long hot showers, or they decide it's not convenient to help contribute toward the groceries or restaurant bills. In general, they just don't seem to take into consideration what we have to deal with when trying to be a good host. It can be very demanding. <br /><br />We all agree, it would be nice to have the families volunteer toward the added expenses. It would allow us to say, "No, thank you. It's on us." When my husband and I stay with family, we buy grocery gift cards upon arrival or periodically pick up groceries at a local market. Upon our departure, we leave a thank you card with a restaurant gift card tucked inside. As the holiday approach, let's be mindful of our loved ones and treat them better than we treat anyone else in our lives. <br /><br />Thank you,<br /><br />Michelle<br /><br /><br /><br />What's your favorite holiday family memory? Share it with us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-10-26T17:58:00Z
A Special Birthday Gift
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Special-Birthday-Gift/422407984714642227.html
2015-10-26T17:57:00Z
2015-10-26T17:57:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Yesterday was my 48th birthday and one of the best presents I have ever received was the card written by my 15 year old son. I have been married almost 23 years to a wonderful man and am a stay at home mom to my 17-year-old daughter and my 15-year-old son. I am used to getting thoughtful hand written cards and letters from my daughter. Typically my son will see if he can get away with just signing his sister's card.<br /><br />He is now a Freshman at an all boy Catholic high school where they emphasize becoming "Men" on a daily basis. He is thriving. My hope is to raise children that are good people, self-sufficient, and grateful. I know we still have to navigate the rest of high school, however, receiving this card really made me feel like he is understanding the message of how real men treat others. I was so proud, I had to share his words with you. <br />
<blockquote>"Mommy, Thank you for putting up with me all the time especially when I do not listen to you. Thank you for taking me places because I cannot drive yet, and that may inconvenience you. Thank you for waking up really early to take me to school early because I did not finish my homework. Thank you for loving me all the time even though it may be really hard at many times. Thank you for always being there for me so I know that I have someone to talk to in time of need. Thank you for helping me with my homework when I do not that the motivation to do it by myself. Thank you for pushing me to do my best in what I do. Thank you for being you and I am so glad that you are my mother. I would rather not have a mother than not have you. I love you mom and Happy Birthday!" </blockquote>
I have been listening to you for over 20 years and am so thankful for all the good advice. I know it has helped me become the wife and mother I am. Thank you for doing what you do. It means a lot to those of us who didn't have parents to turn to for advice. <br /><br />Thanks, <br /><br />Doris<br /><br /><br /><br />What's the best birthday gift you've received from a family member? Tell us about it,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-10-26T17:57:00Z
Growing Up With Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Growing-Up-With-Dr.-Laura/-75735084603016216.html
2015-10-23T17:58:00Z
2015-10-23T17:58:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I've been listening to you ever since I can remember. It was almost like you were my second mom. The earliest memory I have of you was sitting at the kitchen table while my mom cooked, with your voice on the radio in the background. <br /><br />The reason I'm writing you today is to let you know that I met someone. I've met a lot of people in my 24 years, but this one's different. We've been together for a year now. Since this is a record for me, we have started to talk about marriage. You tend to say, "I wish people would call me before getting married, so I wouldn't have to fix these things after." Part of me wants to call you, not to complain, but to gush like a little school girl. I don't want to waste the time you have to actually help people, so instead I've decided to send you this e-mail. <br /><br />I'm able to say that I've become an impressive and independent woman. I have multiple jobs and I'm also fixing up a house that I just bought. My stud muffin has been working up the ranks at his bank and is now the official Manager of his own branch. I couldn't be more proud of him. My Stud Muffin comes over with flowers or chocolate when he knows I've had a tough day. I surprise him with Star Wars and M&M's when he's had his own bad day. We're learning to cook and how to fix the house together, as a team. It seems like every day we are growing with one another. He treats me better than any man I've ever met; even rivaling my father which I thought was impossible. Since my mom knew that she was picking the father of her children, she wanted to give us the best. I have the most amazing father.<br /><br />In short, I just wanted to say thank you so much for being a strong guiding force my entire life. <br /><br />Laney<br /><br />P.S. No, we've never "Shacked Up" and are waiting until after marriage for him to move in. I told him this from the beginning that it was important to me, and he has always respected that.<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have the best dad ever? Tell us about him,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-10-23T17:58:00Z
It's Worth The Backlash
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Worth-The-Backlash/-485794873272645936.html
2015-10-23T17:57:00Z
2015-10-23T17:57:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I wanted to take a moment to thank you for all you do to advocate for children and stay-at-home moms. I was raised by a stay-at-home mom and am thankful for the love, attention, and teaching my mom gave to me. She was so picky about who I was around that she decided to have me skip kindergarten and attend first grade the next year. She did not like the kindergarten teacher. <br /><br />I recently commented on a post about daycare on Facebook. I was immediately responded to with 'defensive' counter-comments to my assertion - that kids need their moms. I think it's sad. I'm sure I will receive nastier replies but I don't really care. If my comment sways a mom to be at home with her child, instead of farming them out to a daycare, it's worth the backlash. <br /><br />Your devoted listener, <br /><br />Jamie<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you had to you stand up for being a Stay-at-home Mommy? Tell us what happened,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-10-23T17:57:00Z
I Wouldn't Trade Those years For Any Job
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Wouldnt-Trade-Those-years-For-Any-Job/679921100238560044.html
2015-10-22T17:58:00Z
2015-10-22T17:58:00Z
<br /><strong>What I wish I knew as a first time mom: Don't worry about your career! </strong><br /><br />I graduated from college with a degree in Accounting when I had my daughter. I worried so much about how I could use that degree while raising her. I was offered a full time job and burst out in tears at the thoughts of putting her in daycare. My husband said to me, "Don't worry about it, you don't have to take the job". We didn't have a lot in the beginning, but we made it work. Now, 26 years later, with 3 kids after that, I still am a Stay at Home Mom. <br /><br />I wouldn't trade all those years for any job or money.<br /><br /> Anne<br /><br /><br /><br />Did you face hard decisions with your pregnancy? Tell us your mommy story,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-10-22T17:58:00Z
A Gift Of Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Gift-Of-Love/-892854612398795938.html
2015-10-22T17:57:00Z
2015-10-22T17:57:00Z
<br />I heard a call from a Grandmother whose sister said having a Down syndrome baby was "karma". I was in tears instantly with the call and I loved your response. Any family facing this situation should know that they have received a gift from God with that baby. <br /><br />I had a sister with Down syndrome that was more like my child. We lost her 3 years ago, at age 56. These families need to know that having a child with Down syndrome will force their family learn what true love really is, because the child will only know how to love them. There will be challenges daily. However, you will always receive more than you give! These children have an ability that most do not - they can sense what you need and silently provide it. <br /><br /><br /><br />Do you deal with criticism from family members? How do you handle it? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-10-22T17:57:00Z
Helping My Spouse To Change His Attitude
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Helping-My-Spouse-To-Change-His-Attitude/218179292677872337.html
2015-10-21T17:58:00Z
2015-10-21T17:58:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My marriage is so much better after listening to all your advice to your callers. I greet my husband at the door with a smile and a squeeze. I make an effort to look great, smell great and have dinner all ready. I hear your voice in my head and am enthusiastic about sex, even when I'm not! He now comes home drooling over me! <br /><br />Another big factor in the change of my husband's attitude toward me was the new prescription from the Doctor to help with his testosterone. Between treating him kindly and this new insight to his hormone levels, he has gone from being disinterested in life to Mr. Wonderful. He's still overworked but now at least all of your good advice is not falling on a dead tree. Sometimes we women really ARE trying hard to please our guys. When you're battling against a health condition, the hormones don't care how nice you treat them. If you're guy is running into problems, make sure he gets checked out by his Doctor. It could help your relationship.<br /><br />Thank you for your show. You're a national treasure I hope you never retire!! <br /><br />Jackie<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever had a medical problem come between you and your spouse? How did you handle it? Tell us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-10-21T17:58:00Z
Enabler or Helping Hand?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Enabler-or-Helping-Hand/-955270210060924870.html
2015-10-21T17:57:00Z
2015-10-21T17:57:00Z
<br />Morning Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I think there is a very subtle difference between being a helping hand and enabling. So subtle that sometimes people do not understand the difference. In my mind, helping someone out of a one-time situation is helping. Enabling is if they come back for help again. Once is helping, twice or more is enabling. <br /><br />One time my brother called me in tears. He had gotten himself in a situation financially and went to one of those payday loan places. You know the type, where they charge 400% interest. He was unable to make to payback the amount borrowed and he needed help. I am not in the habit of helping people in this type of situation, but this time I did. I just had a feeling. In my mind, I didn't count on getting the money back. I was willing to gift him the money. I thought of it as a loan, thinking I would never see the money again. <br /><br />I was pleasantly surprised to receive monthly payments back from him for the total amount! In fact, it made me feel good about our relationship that he took care of his business in a mature way. <br /><br />Thanks for all you do!<br /><br />Aaron<br /><br /><br /><br />Has a family member ever proved you wrong in your thoughts? Tell us what happened,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-10-21T17:57:00Z
Stop Admiring The Problem
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stop-Admiring-The-Problem/-906711218054139639.html
2015-10-20T17:58:00Z
2015-10-20T17:58:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I love you for all you do for everyone, me included. Your direct no nonsense attitude is wonderful. I was listening to you yesterday, and you were speaking with a woman who was whining about her problems. You kept telling her to stop whining and do something. It reminded me of something one of my bosses taught me quite a few years ago, that I still use to this day. <br /><br />When I went to him with a problem, we would discuss a solution. When I met with him again and I came back with the same problem He said, and I quote:<br />
<blockquote>"Okay, let's stop admiring the problem, and do something about it."</blockquote>
It was one of those life lessons that I've carried with me since then. It was also the last time I ever went to him with a problem that I did not already have a solution for. In fact, it's a phrase I've continued to use over the years!<br /><br />Your faithful listener and follower, <br /><br />Maria<br /><br /><br />What life lessons did you pass on? Share them with us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-10-20T17:58:00Z
Standing Up For My Values
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Standing-Up-For-My-Values/-443105976956621609.html
2015-10-20T17:57:00Z
2015-10-20T17:57:00Z
<br />I want to share a huge event that happened in my life a few years ago. This was a big turning point for me, I normally don't handle conflict this way. The man I was involved with increasingly brought up the issue of sex. He became increasingly demanding about it, saying I wasn't fun anymore. <br /><br />One day, I told him that he was single and free to do what he wanted. Clearly, I wasn't the girl for him. Soon after we parted ways, He called. He was trying to lure me in, with clues about traveling to Russia. I had been wanting to go to Russia for quite some time, but he never expressed an interest in going. I forced him to tell me what was going on. He immediately voiced that I would not like what he had to say. He simply told me he had "arranged" for a Russian bride. But...it wasn't too late for us.<br /><br /> I didn't even bother responding, simply hung up and never answered another call from him. Over the next few weeks he emailed and called repeatedly. I only listened to the first two messages, deleting the rest without listening. That was five years ago and I've never looked back.<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever stood up for your values in a relationship? Tell us how,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-10-20T17:57:00Z
Calls To Nana
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Calls-To-Nana/-877418816267297507.html
2015-10-19T17:58:00Z
2015-10-19T17:58:00Z
<br />Hi Doctor Laura: <br /><br />I was listening to a call where the woman was overwhelmed because her mother wanted her to call too often. I understand that she felt her mother was demanding but I was surprised that she thought a call every two or three days was too much. <br /><br />I call my mother every day. I sometimes tell her that I only have ten minutes, but I let her tell me about her day at her assisted living residence. I give her a few newsy tidbits about what's happening with us. She's told me that she looks forward to my call, everyday. It is such a small effort for me to call and make sure everything is alright. We don't live in the same city and I can only visit twice a year. Because of these calls, we have a great relationship! I think that the best part of my calling is the effect it has had on my grown children. They have seen me call my Mom everyday, during their childhood and throughout the years. It has never interfered with their lives. I sometimes say when I call, "Mom, we are super busy but how are you? Was your day good? Everything is crazy as usual here. Love you." Sometimes it's a five minute call and sometimes it's an hour conversation. <br /><br /><strong>Here are the benefits: </strong><br />
<ul>
<li>When my husband and I travel, I just have to say to one of the kids, "Hey, we might not be able to call Nana..." and one of the kids will say, "Oh, I'll do the Nana call." </li>
<br />
<li>The BEST thing though is when my husband travels on business. One of the kids will call me for no reason and I'll quietly think, "I'm getting a Nana call"?</li>
</ul>
I am super grateful for the lesson my kids have learned. I'm not going to interfere with their lives, but, I'm proud that I've taught them to look after their elderly relatives. <br /><br />Jane<br /><br /><br /><br />Do your children check in on you? How? Tell us what they do,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-10-19T17:58:00Z
Fun Flirtations Make The Difference
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fun-Flirtations-Make-The-Difference/-62920355384275196.html
2015-10-19T17:57:00Z
2015-10-19T17:57:00Z
<br />Dear Dr Laura, <br /><br />Listening to the podcast, you spoke with a lady who's was bored with her life and felt lonely. You asked her he last time she flashed her husband her boobs? <br /><br />After I got done laughing my behind off, I started to think of the last time I did that. I think I heard crickets too! Last night after I got home from work, I changed into the normal sweatshirt and sweatpants I wear every night. My husband works nights, so every night I kiss him goodbye and tell him to have a good night. Tonight, with his back turned to me, I lifted up my shirt and stood there. Of course I was sans brassiere. I started laughing out loud. He turn around and his face dropped. He told me I was crazy and left for work with the biggest smile I have ever seen on him. <br /><br />Thanks for all you do. Without this little tidbit today, I would have never thought to do this. I will remember to do it more often, as he obviously enjoyed it! <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Alex<br /><br /><br /><br />Is there a special flirtation that you and your spouse share? <span>Tell us how you flirt, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-10-19T17:57:00Z
A Childhood Daycare Story
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Childhood-Daycare-Story/-384375402796239247.html
2015-10-16T17:58:00Z
2015-10-16T17:58:00Z
<br />Hi Dr.Laura, <br /><br />I was thinking back on your comments about daycare earlier and it reminded me of a little story my parents used to fondly tell. I was a daycare baby. I was maybe 1 year old and couldn't speak yet. <br /><br />My dad and a co-worker dropped me off at daycare. I grabbed my dad's sleeve and started crying. I did not want to let go. A daycare worker came by and put a cookie in my spare hand, in an attempt to quiet me. I just wanted my dad. I refused let go of my dad with the other hand. My dad's co-worker told me, "Daddy has to go make money so you can have cookies", pointing to the cookie in my hand. Without hesitation, I threw the cookie on the ground. My dad was so touched, he took me to work that day. According to him, I cried most of the day and he got no work accomplished. <br /><br />I'm not sure if this is a sad story or a funny one. To my parents, this is a cute story. Sadly, I don't think that my story or experience in Daycare was "cute". <br /><br /><br /><br />Did you go to Daycare as a child? <span>Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-10-16T17:58:00Z
He Gave Me Butterflies
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Gave-Me-Butterflies/-83267566979398638.html
2015-10-16T17:57:00Z
2015-10-16T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I've been married 42 years, I was 18 he was 20. One Saturday afternoon my husband and my grandsons friend were going into town for some guy stuff. The friend ask my husband, "when do you know your ready to get married?" Well, my husband told him of a western he had watched as a little boy. He told him, "LOVE comes latter, after many years..but when you find a girl that you really really like. she might be the one." There was no talk of age and he just left it at that. <br /><br />After my husband told me the story, I asked him if he had taken this advice when we got married. The look on his face was like a little kid on his birthday! He said, "I sure did and I liked you, ALOT." That gave me butterflies!! <br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura. You are one amazing person. May god bless you with so many grandchildren that you won't have time for ANYTHING!<br /><br /><br /><br />Has your spouse ever said something to give you butterflies? Tell us about it, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-10-16T17:57:00Z
Making My Marriage Dazzle
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-My-Marriage-Dazzle/821017848614240569.html
2015-10-15T17:58:00Z
2015-10-15T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />My boyfriend and I have been married for 34 years and 21 of those years have included listening to the Dr. Laura Show. Thanks to your nagging, I started calling him my boyfriend. I've even started referring to friends' spouses as their boyfriend. Now I automatically keep him in the boyfriend perspective. <br /><br />Yesterday he told me that some co-workers were whining a little about how their wives do not enjoy football. He listened for a while then told them something like, "Wow, my wife loves college football. In fact, last Saturday we fished all day then went straight to a sports bar and watched 2 football games. " It was sweet of him to brag about me to his peers but the real gift to me was the look on his face. He beamed with happiness and pride while he bragged to me. While he told me the story he kept saying, "I'm a king!" I made him even happier later. <br /><br />Thank you for helping my marriage dazzle and for supporting my backbone while we raised our 3 generous kids.<br /><br /><br /><br />What fun things do you share with your spouse? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-10-15T17:58:00Z
My Version Of Silent Treatment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Version-Of-Silent-Treatment/-561889719935083241.html
2015-10-15T17:57:00Z
2015-10-15T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />When the silent treatment is being used as a punitive measure, then it is not productive. However, what someone might perceive as the silent treatment could, instead, be a loud and clear message that I am done. Just done. <br /><br />Such was the case this summer, when my adult daughter crossed the line from yelling to physical violence. She blames, denies, and justifies 'til the cows come home; nothing is ever her fault. There might be a half-hearted apology, coupled with some line about her medication. In my view, it's a character issue. Long story short, when it gets to the point where ANYTHING I say is distorted, then it's safest to just quit talking. If I didn't have grandkids that I want to see, I would have ejected her from my life a long time ago. So, I stay close, but not too close. I love her because she's my daughter, but I don't like her at all. That's how I choose to use the silent treatment. Sometimes, it's just necessary.<br /><br /><br />Have you ever used the silent treatment with your kids? Did it work? Tell us about it, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-10-15T17:57:00Z
I'm A Better Man Because Of You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-A-Better-Man-Because-Of-You/-173949120777178373.html
2015-10-14T17:58:00Z
2015-10-14T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been listening to you for about 5 years. I think I have become a better husband and man because of it. I was listening to your podcast in the gym a couple of days ago and a person called in that really struck a chord with me. She had a couple of adopted kids that had Reactive Attachment Disorder (<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reactive_attachment_disorder" target="_blank">RAD</a>) and was having great difficulty managing them. You showed great empathy for her situation. You explained so that the caller understood that there was no shame in being unable to manage these difficult kids. In fact, she may need to give them to someone else to raise. <br /><br />My wife and I found ourselves in a similar situation many years ago, when we adopted a little girl from Russia. Unknown to us, she had RAD and was incredibly difficult to manage. Like the caller on the phone, we also set our home up with door alarms and other devices to keep track of our daughter. We eventually made the decision to disrupt the adoption, after 6 years of trying to deal with her. She went to live with a family that had experience with RAD kids. They had a better support system around them. It was an incredibly difficult decision with lots of guilt and shame attached. <br /><br />Your comments to the caller made her feel less shamed by her situation. Your comments also made me feel better about my own decision years ago. I had never heard of RAD before we adopted the little girl. I found that most people were unable to relate to the problem. We felt very isolated at the time. I know you helped the caller tremendously with your advice. I wish I had had someone to give me the same good advice when I was dealing with my own situation. <br /><br />Thanks for the good work you do and please keep doing it.<br /><br />Sean<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever had to make a difficult parenting decision that you KNEW would make your child's life better? Share your story with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-10-14T17:58:00Z
The Balancing Of Being A Soft AND Strong Woman
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Balancing-Of-Being-A-Soft-AND-Strong-Woman/273091209044498427.html
2015-10-14T17:57:00Z
2015-10-14T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. L, <br /><br />I started listening to you at a tumultuous time in my life. I started working from home, left a toxic part time job and had to stand by my morals as a parent . I realized that I needed to be a wife and mother, more than anything else. <br /><br />This all seems like common sense but this thought process has caused problems with close friends and family. My husband and I made the choice to turn our family inward. We realized that if you are doing what others consider to be "right", it is probably not good for your children, family or marriage. We have lost some special people because of our choices. But our family is stronger, children are happier and marriage is better. <br /><br />Thank you for being the voice of reason that has supported us through these choices, especially when the family that we trusted most could not. Thank you for also showing women that you can be a "soft" AND strong! <br /><br />Many thanks, <br /><br />Emma<br /><br /><br /><br />Are you trying to be a "softer" woman? Tell us about your progress, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-10-14T17:57:00Z
Changing The Course
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-The-Course/-428175654774164632.html
2015-10-13T17:57:00Z
2015-10-13T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I want to thank you for serving as my surrogate mom the past 20 years. You are often the only motherly advice I receive and I want you to know that it is helping me to change the lives of my three children and my marriage for the better. My husband and I come from dysfunctional homes and have consciously chosen not to allow either of our parents contact with us or our children. <br /><br />I used to feel guilty about this but when I heard you say that just because you share someone's DNA doesn't mean you have to tolerate horrible behavior, I knew what I had to do for my family. It has been 7 years and three children and I do not feel one iota of guilt for protecting my children and marriage from the unhealthy people who brought me into this world. It gives me great satisfaction knowing that my husband and I are changing the course of our children's lives for the better. <br /><br />Thank you for your bluntness and honesty. The world would be a better place if more people were as frank as you and followed your wisdom. You have helped me put an end to tolerating people's crap. You also gave me the direction on how to be the best wife and mother I can be. You help change lives and families for the better. <br /><br />I took your advice and still do! Thank you, Dr. Laura.<br /><br /><br /><br />Is there a way you protect your family? Tell us how, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-10-13T17:57:00Z
To My Husband In This Weird Phase Of Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/To-My-Husband-In-This-Weird-Phase-Of-Life/-709624529905319949.html
2015-10-13T17:57:00Z
2015-10-13T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr Laura <br /><br />I'm an avid listener and love tuning into your show as much as I can. I am a young mom of a 2 year old girl and expecting twins in a few months time. <br /><br />I'm married to a wonderful man. I feel so lucky to have found him. We met and married in our early thirties. We knew we were a match early on. We married after knowing each other for less then 2 years time and then got pregnant soon after. It's been a whirlwind. Some days we look at each other and can't believe how many blessings we have had in such a short time. However this does not imply it had been easy. <br /><br />I found a blog post recently that really made an impact on me. It made me so emotional and relieved to know that there are other moms out there that feel the exact same way I do during this journey. I wanted to share it with you. Below is a small excerpt from the article, to read the entire story please click the link in the title. <br /><br /><strong><a href="http://www.allthingsheldtogether.com/?p=2397" target="_blank">To My Husband in This Weird Phase of Life</a></strong></p>
<blockquote>
<p>"Life is weird right now, huh?"</p>
<p>"We don’t mean it to be. It just is. We work to get paid to pay everyone else and it always seems like there’s always more month than money. There are two very little people who are the bosses while we try so hard to maintain control. We’re pulled in so many directions that are often times opposite of each other"...</p>
</blockquote>
<p><br />Thank you for allowing me to share! XO <br /><br />Dee <br /><br /><br /><br />Have you read something that reminds you of your current relationship status? Share it with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-10-13T17:57:00Z
The Best Gift Ever!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Best-Gift-Ever!/-99625910912018718.html
2015-10-12T17:58:00Z
2015-10-12T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I just wanted to thank you for your book, "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060520620/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0060520620&linkCode=as2&tag=wwwdrlauracom-20&linkId=5AWR3PAVKGV2KTFV" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of a Husband</a>." My wise mother gave it to me before I married my husband over 10 years ago. We have three happy daughters, plus my husband and I are still very happily married. My husband works full time. I'm lucky that this allows me the privilege of staying home with our kids. Your book has helped me learn to treat my husband with the respect and love he deserves. It helps our home be a place we all want to be. We genuinely want to be with each other. <br /><br />One thing I started doing early in our marriage was to make my husband lunch and take it to him nearly everyday. He only works about 7 minutes from our home, so it is something fairly easy for me to do while running errands. In my opinion, it makes our relationship better! We get to see each other and spend a few minutes chatting.<br /><br />Thank you again for everything!<br /><br /><br /><br />Is there something special you do to make the day a little better for your spouse? Tell us what make your partner happy, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-10-12T17:58:00Z
Proof Birds Are Smarter Than Some Mothers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Proof-Birds-Are-Smarter-Than-Some-Mothers/-505198870275556241.html
2015-10-12T17:57:00Z
2015-10-12T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />Your picture of <a href="https://www.facebook.com/drlaura/videos/869439923102554/" target="_blank">baby ducks on Facebook</a> reminded of something that recently happened. <br /><br />I was about to turn into the grocery store when an adult goose came running into the driveway in front of my truck waving his wings and honking. I stopped immediately. A mother goose followed by several babies crossed the driveway as the adult goose stood guard. As soon as they crossed, the goose waddled away. <br /><br />You always say birds with their tiny brains are smarter than some mothers. Here's your proof. <br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/mrwmotwosau (800x600).jpg" alt="" /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever been caught in a moment that reminds you how special mothers are? Share it with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-10-12T17:57:00Z
Enjoying My Femininity
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Enjoying-My-Femininity/-908508143828333049.html
2015-10-09T17:58:00Z
2015-10-09T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura-<br /><br />I just want to thank you for your wonderfully insightful, inspiring, and necessary words that you spoke in regards to femininity and masculinity on your October 1 show. <br /><br />We are a military family with five kids, whom I home school happily and gratefully. The frequent comings and goings of my husband as he goes about his business of protecting our country often blurs line of our roles when he is home. Since he is frequently gone, I am both mother and father to our 3 boys and 2 girls. I am so happy to have listened to your wisdom and advice. Your words prompted me to resolve to enjoy my femininity when my husband is home with us and to allow him his masculine place. He is a devoted, smart, strong Man who approaches his commitments and responsibility in regards to Family and Country with utmost honor. Your words are a gift to each of us, especially me. Thank you, thank you, thank you! <br /><br />My best, <br /><br />Kelly<br /><br /><br /><br />Are you proud of your spouse? Tell us why, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-10-09T17:58:00Z
Modeling Positivity
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Modeling-Positivity/441325076965933449.html
2015-10-09T17:57:00Z
2015-10-09T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />I have just recently been diagnosed with a Chronic illness. I have been suffering for years. I have been pretty good about dealing with this, because truthfully, I was not correctly diagnosed until now. Even if I'm handling this well, hearing the diagnosis was a real doozy. I am on medication which helps with the symptoms but does not cure the illness. At this point in time there is no cure. I went through a phase of denial as well as depression. <br /><br />One day I just said to myself, "YOU are one of the role model for your children! What are you modeling?" That day, I made the decision to be as positive and upbeat as I possibly can be. I get up every morning now, and I do things. I no longer have a job outside of the home, but I keep busy with the house and my love for cooking. I had to make a conscious decision to turn things around and to be involved in my kid's lives every day. <br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever had to be strong for your children? Tell us about it, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-10-09T17:57:00Z
My Marriage Is The Example For My Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Marriage-Is-The-Example-For-My-Kids/-964384412129538863.html
2015-10-08T17:58:00Z
2015-10-08T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I'm doing the dishes, listening to your podcast, shocked at the number of women calling to complain about their husbands. It has occurred to me that a lot of these women would profess to be good mothers. Many of them stating they started neglecting their husband as soon as they had kids. After reading "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060520620/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0060520620&linkCode=as2&tag=wwwdrlauracom-20&linkId=5AWR3PAVKGV2KTFV" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a>" and listening to you, I realized that I should treat my husband at least as good as I treat my kids. <br /><br />One day it was very hot and my 2-year-old son was playing outside with my husband. Even though my son was in the shade, he was already sweating. I decided to bring out a wet washcloth to cool him off. And since I was thinking about my husband, I decided to bring one out for him too. I wiped the sweat off my kidlet's face and the back of his neck. Then I walked over to my husband to do the same. He was very surprised, even asking "<em>Is that for me?</em>". After I was finished, he was putty in my hands. All because I afforded him the same thought that I did my 2-year-old. I try to keep this in mind to for the future. My marriage is the example for my kids. <br /><br /><br /><br />How do you treat your spouse kindly? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-10-08T17:58:00Z
My "Dr. Laura Hat"
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Dr.-Laura-Hat/-352230418052342030.html
2015-10-08T17:57:00Z
2015-10-08T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />You have been my surrogate mother. You have not only taught me how to deal with life, but also how to handle other people. I have put on my "Dr. Laura hat" and given advice to family and friends. My husband and I met when I was 18 and he was 20. We dated 8 years with NO SHACK UP! Then, when we were mature, we got married. We have been together for 34 years total. I have MS and my husband is my best friend and my rock. <br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura for showing me the correct way to live life and treat people. I admire you greatly! <br /><br />Beth <br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a person in your life that has had an emotional impact on you? Tell us about them, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-10-08T17:57:00Z
Defending A Friend In Need
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Defending-A-Friend-In-Need/-128915830609037671.html
2015-10-07T17:58:00Z
2015-10-07T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Listening to your comments regarding bullies immediately made me think of a similar incident that happened to my oldest son when he was in school. <br /><br />At the time, he was a senior in high school in Orange County. He and the rest of the student body were filing into the school auditorium for an assembly. As they entered the auditorium, he witnessed a boy and girl fighting. When he saw the boy pushing the girl he immediately stepped between them and pushed the boy away from her. The zero tolerance policy had been implemented a few years prior to this situation. Much to our surprise, he was also suspended for defending this girl. When the policy was implemented we were led to believe it was initiated to prevent weapons and drugs. <br /><br />My husband and I were quite proud of our son for standing up to that bully. Thank you for always encouraging us to do the right thing! <br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever been bullied? Tell us how you stood up for yourself or another person, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-10-07T17:58:00Z
Hobbies Are A Life Saver
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hobbies-Are-A-Life-Saver/322347211340763203.html
2015-10-07T17:57:00Z
2015-10-07T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />I am a 60 year old married woman with 4 ancient children. I have to say, my hobbies have saved my emotional well-being. <br /><br />I play piano and clarinet badly but I'm getting better. I am involved with a local community band. I also conduct a 50 voice auditioned high school junior and senior church choir every Sunday evening. These activities along with hiking and other physical pursuits have been life savers! I love people who make music and get to enjoy music every day. God has blessed me! I mostly love the life I live. There is so much beauty in this world. I feel so privileged to spend time with aspiring musicians. <br /><br />Thanks for all you do. I listened to you for years and that listening gave me the foundation to stand up for what is right...come what may. Love You!!!<br /><br /><br /><br />Is there a special hobby or interest that helps to keep you on track? Tell us what it is, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-10-07T17:57:00Z
Change Of Attitude
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Change-Of-Attitude/-247035610636402847.html
2015-10-06T17:58:00Z
2015-10-06T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi, Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I've been at home with my children for 18 years and married to their father for 22 years. I have listened to you for many years. While listening to the show, I heard a call about manipulation in a marriage. I have to say, it was probably the most important call I have heard you take. This call is so completely on point! Thank you for letting younger women and older ones in on the secret to a happier, long-lasting marriage. There have been times in my marriage where I was not a pleasant wife. My expectations were unrealistic and destructive to the marriage. <br /><br />It is amazing how all that changed when my attitude changed. There are times when I have had to remind myself to behave properly. It is critical to understand that YOU are in charge of your own behavior. Even though my Daughters are still at the age where they think mom knows nothing, I will share this piece of wisdom with them, in hopes that one day they will put the advice to good use. <br /><br />Thank you!<br /><br />Tina<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever thought that you needed an attitude adjustment? Tell us what you did to make things better, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-10-06T17:58:00Z
Let Them Have Recess
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Let-Them-Have-Recess/-825046378226234667.html
2015-10-06T17:57:00Z
2015-10-06T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I saw lots of comments and an email of the day from your listeners about Elementary School recess - and the lack thereof in many cases!<br /><br />I am proud to say that my children's school provides 3 breaks per day! Two of the recess periods are 10 minutes each. The kids get one break in the morning, and one in the afternoon. The last break is lunch and is just shy of 20 minutes long. This year, the lunch recess schedule has been flipped, for the best interest of the children. Kids get to run around and play for their recess FIRST, and then they walk to the cafeteria to eat their lunch for 15-20 minutes. No more kids that don't want to eat! Lots of hydration happening during lunch. They have even put two big sports coolers of water in the cafeteria. The kids are more attentive in class for the afternoon and they're getting exercise that they would probably not get otherwise. <br /><br />Just had to share. Some schools ARE doing the right thing!!!<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have any ideas to make your kids more active? Tell us your thoughts, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-10-06T17:57:00Z
They ARE Listening!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/They-ARE-Listening!/-39818989387938047.html
2015-10-05T17:58:00Z
2015-10-05T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I use to listen to your program while waiting for my two daughters to get out of school and during the drive home. The girls were usually chatting. I didn't think they were actually listening to the radio. <br /><br />When my oldest daughter was in her first month of Junior High, we were out to breakfast with her friend from school. We let them sit at the booth next to ours so they could pretend they were out together alone. Even at the next booth, I was focusing my mommy hearing on their conversation. Her friend said excitedly, "Billy and Sally are dating!" My daughter said "Well, that's dumb." Her friend asked why, and my daughter said something that made me very proud! "Dating is what adults do so they can figure out who they want to marry. Why would you want to do that in junior high? "I was so amazed at her very mature And smart response. <br /><br />My daughters are both grown now. Neither of them dated at all in High School. My oldest is still with her very first boyfriend. My youngest is a college student Who is almost 21, and still not ready to date. In this day of teen promiscuity, I am so thankful for your influence on my family's values and my girl's quality of life. Thank you for all you do, and please keep up the good work.<br /><br /><br /><br />What do you do to improve your family's quality of life? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-10-05T17:58:00Z
Finding New Friends
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finding-New-Friends/-602689782050361250.html
2015-10-05T17:57:00Z
2015-10-05T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I heard a question come up on your show. Do chickens and cats get along? The answer is, YES! They get along very well. <br /><br />I went out to feed the chickens one day and found this cutie in the coop. I now have 3 feline visitors that come from the neighbors home. They like to help the animals on my farm eat their food. They all get along great, except in the mornings. Usually during the morning time, the chickens will sneak on to the deck to try and eat the cat's food. The cat's are not as polite when it is their food being stolen. I also wanted to share this adorable picture of our new friend. Enjoy and keep up the good work.<br /><br />Country living is living!!!!!<br /><br />Dawn<br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/seyciipors.jpg" alt="" /></p>
<blockquote>
<ul>
</ul>
</blockquote>
<br /><br />Have you ever made a new friend by surprise? Tell us about it, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. <br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-10-05T17:57:00Z
Protecting Your Spouse
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Protecting-Your-Spouse/-981073793769504610.html
2015-10-02T17:58:00Z
2015-10-02T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />When my husband and I were first married, we would have to travel 500-600 miles to visit both families. Even though it was hard, we would also visit all of the sub-families resulting from our parents mutual divorces. By the end of Christmas Day, I was usually in tears from the stress and strain. My husband vowed that I would never again cry on Christmas. I was hugely pregnant during the Christmas of 1996. There was no way we would be able to travel. My son was delivered just a couple of weeks later. <br /><br />The very next holiday my husband put his foot down. We would no longer be traveling to the entire family. If our families wanted to see us on Christmas, they would have to come to our house and get along with each other. We did not hear a lot of complaining about this, although the visits were few and far between. That's OK. We began our own traditions that we follow to this day. My son is now a freshman in college and I look forward to having him home for Christmas. It is usually just our small family now and that suits us fine. I married a MAN who put the protection and support of his family above the wishes of our relatives. I definitely chose wisely and have learned to treat kindly. Thank you for all you do! <br /><br />Mary<br /><br /></p>
<blockquote>
<ul>
</ul>
</blockquote>
<br /><br />Have you ever had to stand up for your spouse? Tell us about it, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. <br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-10-02T17:58:00Z
The Importance of Recess
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-of-Recess/968953043424403370.html
2015-10-02T17:57:00Z
2015-10-02T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I have long been dismayed that schools keep children penned up like animals. Kids need to run and play. Doing this helps them both physically and mentally. Exercise better prepares their minds to learn. I find it totally maddening that an obvious part of the solution to child obesity is more recess and exercise. <br /><br />My son is in 4th grade and has to earn his recess. If the class eats fast then they may get a few minutes at lunch to play. We don't treat adults like this so why do we treat our precious children like this???<br /><br />Julie <br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a childhood story about recess? Share it with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-10-02T17:57:00Z
A Challenge to the 'Working Mom' Ideology
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Challenge-to-the-Working-Mom-Ideology/-184832715643181278.html
2015-10-01T17:58:00Z
2015-10-01T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura- <br /><br />I often hear you ask women who believe in the "working mom" ideology if they would rather be raised by a nanny, daycare, or their mother. I think it's a great question. Unfortunately, many people don't answer honestly. I also have a question I'd like to pose to all the wives out there. If your husband were to hire a replacement spouse to keep you company while he is away, would you be satisfied?<br /><br />Your husband would be hiring a very sincere, kind, and loving man to come to your home every evening. Money is no object when it comes to how much he cares about his wife. This surrogate will hold your hand, listen attentively, pour your wine and kiss your cheek tenderly. Of course, no woman would like this, much less stand for it! Why? Because she wants the person holding her hand to be the man that loves her. She wants the man touching her to be the man who would jump into shark infested waters to bring her lemonade. There is no replacement; it would be an insult to real love. <br /><br />If a woman would not endure this false pretense of love, why would she put her children in this same situation? There is no replacement for a mother. Next time a mom hires a caring surrogate, maybe she should think the impact this has on the child. <br /><br />Dawn</p>
<p><br /><br /><br />Do you have an experience with daycare you'd like to share? Tell us about it, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-10-01T17:58:00Z
Rules From the Male Point of View
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Rules-From-the-Male-Point-of-View/-691027292495307642.html
2015-10-01T17:57:00Z
2015-10-01T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story! We always hear relationship rules from the female side. Since I found the rules from the male point of view, I had to share. Yes, these are all numbered "1" on purpose! </p>
<blockquote>1. Men are NOT mind readers. <br /><br />1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. <br /><br />1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. <br /><br />1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! <br /><br />1. 'Yes' and 'No' are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. <br /><br />1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. <br /><br />1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 days. <br /><br />1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. <br /><br />1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. <br /><br />1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. <br /><br />1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit and not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. <br /><br />1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. <br /><br />1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. <br /><br />1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. <br /><br />1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really. <br /><br />1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, football or golf. <br /><br />1. You have enough clothes. <br /><br />1. You have too many shoes. <br /><br />1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
<ul>
</ul>
</blockquote>
<br /><br />Do you have a joke about marriage or kids you'd like to share? Tell us about it, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. <br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-10-01T17:57:00Z
My Realization
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Realization/-626961229523627091.html
2015-09-30T17:58:00Z
2015-09-30T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am 19 years old and have been reading your book, "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Whining-Start-Living-Laura-Schlessinger/dp/0060838345/ref=pd_sim_14_11?ie=UTF8&refRID=05RBPV33W7MXERK041KK" target="_blank">Stop Whining, Start Living</a>". After reading the book I compared some of it to my life. It made me look at my life and think about how I wanted to change the things that I didn't like. <br /><br />I had a friend who lied to me on a consistent basis. I kept that friendship going, even though it was a bad idea. It got to the point to where I decided to confront to my friend about how he had treated me. He must have been frustrated by the fact that I was right. He later blocked me from Facebook, texting and calling. For a while, I thought I was stuck with my depression. I wasn't sure if I would be able to shake this off. <br /><br />After thinking about it for a bit I came to a realization. You have always taught that if a relationship is not a healthy one, then it probably wasn't meant to be. Eventually I learned making mistakes are part of our everyday lives. We learn from them and move on. That's what I did. I've stopped whining and started living again!<br /> <br />David</p>
<p><br /><br /><br />Do you have a life changing moment you'd like to share? Tell us about it, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-30T17:58:00Z
When Silence Speaks Louder Than Words
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-Silence-Speaks-Louder-Than-Words/166897432190227958.html
2015-09-30T17:57:00Z
2015-09-30T17:57:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />Although my sister and I have never been close, I never disliked her. As young adults, her anger toward me came out! She asked to meet me "to get some things out in the open". She told me she would never even choose me for a friend. With a poker face, as if I didn't hear her, I did not respond at all. To make sure I "heard" her, she told me two more times. I never responded, and she felt like a fool. Because of the way she treats me, I've chosen to not include her in my life. I'm always polite when seeing her, but realize it's best to avoid people like her. Thanks for your advice!<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever stood up for yourself or someone else? Tell us your story, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-30T17:57:00Z
Smart Shopping
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Smart-Shopping/-817909372151695213.html
2015-09-29T17:58:00Z
2015-09-29T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Good Morning Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have some smart shopping tips I wanted to share. Here's what I do to try and keep on track while on my grocery store missions.<br /><br /></p>
<ol>
<li>Most obvious and most important is not to go shopping when you are hungry! </li>
<br />
<li>Pay close attention to expiration dates. </li>
<br />
<li>Resist impulse items at the end of the aisle. Find the will power to just keep moving.</li>
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<li>Don't buy something just because it's "healthy". If it tastes horrible, you will probably end up throwing it away anyhow. </li>
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<li>Dont buying items just because they are on sale. Lots of times I purchase something thinking that I need it. When I find the item months later, I sadly realize that I probably didn't really need to buy it to begin with. </li>
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<li>Try not to buy too many comfort foods and snacks. Usually most of these foods tend to be very expensive and unhealthy.</li>
</ol>
<p>These personal guidelines have kept my wallet and my waist line maintained. I hope they can help you too. Thanks for reading my .02 cents. <br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a shopping trick or ritual that you couldn't live without? Share it with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-29T17:58:00Z
My Buddy, Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Buddy,-Dr.-Laura/897161545770793296.html
2015-09-29T17:57:00Z
2015-09-29T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I'm in outside sales so I spend a lot of time in the car. I enjoy listening to your advice. You break it down to simple terms that most people can actually understand. I'm sitting here at the computer with a silly grin on my face. Some of the callers are funny with their brilliant insights. <br /><br />It appears that many people create their own bad situations by making bad choices and not being able to break the cycle. I have been there and done that. Your words of wisdom help me to cope. Now I'm able to handle everyday challenges by simply breaking the situation down to the root of the matter. Just the facts Ma'am! <br /><br />You are my voice of reason. Thank you for doing what you do. Protect the children and love our pets.<br /><br /><br />Did you have thoughts about the show you'd like to share? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-29T17:57:00Z
Kids Are So Smart
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Kids-Are-So-Smart/252085769118423070.html
2015-09-28T17:58:00Z
2015-09-28T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr Laura, <br /><br />I saw this on TV here in Calgary and thought of you. Im sure you will love this. This little girl is amazing. Sounds like she's smarter than most adults. I wish more people would take a moment to watch this. Maybe they could learn a little something from her? <br /><br /><iframe frameborder="0" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/vm0UNn7tJ5o" height="720" width="1280"></iframe><br /><br />I am a huge fan of yours and have been for many years. <br /><br />Thank you for what you do. <br /><br />Sam<br /><br /><br /><br />Did you find something on youtube that makes a parenting statement? Share it with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-28T17:58:00Z
Secrets To A Great Relationship, For Men
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Secrets-To-A-Great-Relationship,-For-Men/99089331267801171.html
2015-09-28T17:57:00Z
2015-09-28T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Here is some humourous relationship advice for the men in our lives. I hope you enjoy these guidelines as much as I did.</p>
<ol>
<li>It is important to find a woman who loves to cook gourmet meals. </li>
<br /><br />
<li>It is important to find a woman who enjoys keeping the house sparkling clean. </li>
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<li>It is important to find a woman who takes loving care of your children </li>
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<li>It is important to find a woman who is warm and affectionate, and who really enjoys sex. </li>
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<li>It is important that these four women never meet.</li>
</ol>
<p><br />Thanks for all you do, <br /><br />Jimmy<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a joke you'd like to tell us? Share it, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-28T17:57:00Z
Momma A or Momma B
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Momma-A-or-Momma-B/643624382786328892.html
2015-09-25T17:58:00Z
2015-09-25T17:58:00Z
<p><br />My 6 year old daughter was throwing a huge fit a bedtime because she wasn't following rules and I was giving her consequences. Even though I wanted to concede, I listened to my inner Mother Laura and stuck to my guns. <br /><br />Instead of a bedtime story before bed I asked her the following question, “Which type of Mommy would you rather have?” </p>
<ul>
<li>Mom A: Always gives you what you want and gives no consequences for bad behavior. </li>
<li>Mom B: Always follows through and demands respect and good behavior. Otherwise there is a consequence.</li>
</ul>
<p>After a pause, she said at first she thought that she wanted mom A. She sat deep in though for some time. A few minutes later she changed her mind. Shae came to the conclusion that mom b was the better mom. When I asked her why she chose Mommy B over Mommy A, she replied, “Because she cares more.” <br /><br />Diane</p>
<br /><br /><br /> Do you have a story of a parenting victory? Share it with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-25T17:58:00Z
Virtual Hugs
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Virtual-Hugs/-532445786465562893.html
2015-09-25T17:57:00Z
2015-09-25T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was listening today and heard a caller who was terminally ill. She spoke of writing her blessings in her journal, at which point I was brought to tears. Just want you to know I think she epitomized what your work is all about; recognizing blessings, loving others and being unselfish. Yes, she is remarkable, but you were wrong when you said you could not compare to her. Your work every day is the same kind of remarkable!!! You send a message of love, unselfishness and compassion everyday!! <br /><br />Today when I heard you crying at that call I wished I could give you a hug. Think of this email as my virtual hug to you!! <br /><br />xo Lori<br /><br />P.S. My proudest moments as a parent are when my kids do the right thing, even when no one is looking.</p>
<br /><br /><br /> Do you have a heartfelt memory? Share it with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-25T17:57:00Z
All Kids Need Their Mommy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/All-Kids-Need-Their-Mommy/-111601610327294273.html
2015-09-24T17:58:00Z
2015-09-24T17:58:00Z
<p><br />You often reference the animal kingdom as support that children need their moms. <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2015/06/10/travel/feat-baby-koala-stays-by-mother-during-surgery/" target="_blank">Here's a heartwarming story</a> from Australia about a baby koala that needed his mom so much, he clung to her even while she underwent surgery. I credit the veterinarians for recognizing how important a mom's touch was. They didn't dare separate the two; even for just a few hours. <br /><br />Thank you for all you do for children! Have a fabulous day. <br /><br />Amy</p>
<blockquote>Lizzy the koala was taken to a wildlife hospital in an Australian zoo, with her son holding on to her side. Poor Lizzy had been hit by a car. Her little boy, Phantom, only 6-months-old, was luckily unharmed and refused to leave his mother. Lizzy suffered a collapsed lung that required emergency surgery. Phantom continued to hold on and would not leave her even during the operation. Lizzy survived the surgery and is currently recovering with Phantom by her side. These amazing images displaying a son's love for his mother are heartwarming.</blockquote>
<img src="/images/blog/koala.jpg" alt="" /><br /><br /><br /> Do you have an emotional mommy story? Share it with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-24T17:58:00Z
Sailing and Eating Humble Pie
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sailing-and-Eating-Humble-Pie/651969612855285101.html
2015-09-24T17:57:00Z
2015-09-24T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I consider myself fairly adept at most outdoor sports. I hunt, fish and do most any outdoor activity. Last month, my wife of 30 years and I celebrated our anniversary in Jamaica at an all-inclusive resort. One of the activities we could do was go sailing. I thought, hell, if Dr. Laura can do it, I certainly can. Wrong!!! <br /><br />We got the customary instructions from the sailing instructor and like most guys; I listened to about 50% of it. Meanwhile, my lovely bride listened with intent. We hop on the hobie craft and off we went. All was good until we got about 100 yards from shore. I lost the wind and there we sat motionless. My lovely wife, the CPA who probably took notes, politely repeated what the instructor said to do with the sail and the rudder. But I'm the big game hunter and I know nature. Wrong again. To make matters worse, the instructor begins shouting at me from the shore to "turn in to the wind", which I thought I was doing. Finally, we set sail and I finally figured it out but not without eating some humble pie. My wife Elizabeth gently tunrned to me and said, "Oh what would your gal Dr. Laura think of you now". I had no response. <br /><br />After a few adult beverages and a huge dose of humility, I admitted that there are some things that this warrior of a husband just can't do. The combination of too many ropes, rudders and my frustration with not being able to control the wind beat me. As I promised to my wife, this is my confession and I will leave the sailing to the professionals. <br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever had to eat a piece of humble pie? Tell us about your experience, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-24T17:57:00Z
My Talk With The Other Woman
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Talk-With-The-Other-Woman/-168816057887372892.html
2015-09-23T17:58:00Z
2015-09-23T17:58:00Z
<p><br />My phone rang and it was "the other woman". At the time, my then husband was still living at home with me and our sons. <br /><br />She started out by apologizing that she was calling. She said she just had some questions about my husband. I immediately got upset and said we had nothing to discuss. She started crying and said "What? He told me you were divorced! No wonder he never gave me his address or let me come over." I replied, "No we are not divorced...yet...but rest assured I will be filing divorce very very soon." Through the tears, she said "I don't want a cheater." I told her she did not need to apologize, it was HIM who was messed up. <br /><br />We hung up and I realized that sometimes "the other woman" is naïve and may not know the truth. <br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever confronted or been contronted by the 'other woman'? Tell us about your experience, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-23T17:58:00Z
Making Babies
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Babies/-651745789434980046.html
2015-09-23T17:57:00Z
2015-09-23T17:57:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I just read your blog, <a href="/b/Are-You-Ready-to-Have-a-Baby/-694886013421761757.html" target="_blank">Are You Ready to Have a Baby?</a> This is such an excellent bit of advice put simply and in a nutshell. Such common sense, and yet I can't believe how many people don't know or understand this.<br /><br />I think they've been sold a bill of goods! They've been told that having sex with anybody is OK. That you need to have sex in order to be fulfilled and that if you use birth control, everything will be OK. I agree with you that having sex is only acceptable within a marriage.<br /><br />Bless you, Dr. Laura, for speaking the truth with such wisdom and clarity. I have always appreciated listening to on the radio, and reading your blogs.<br /><br />Thank you!<br /><br />Gigi<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a thought about one of Dr. Laura's blogs? Share it with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-23T17:57:00Z
Saying 'Thank You'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Saying-Thank-You/554763221869551196.html
2015-09-22T17:58:00Z
2015-09-22T17:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I thought of a clever way to teach my child to say "thank you" when a gift comes by mail or when he doesn't get to see the person who gave him the gift. <br /><br />My son would receive things by mail, as we lived out of the area. When he received any gifts, the rule was he cannot play with the gift or cash the check until he either thanked the giver by phone or wrote a thank you note! It worked well for us. Even at a young age, I would say, "let's call and thank them". When he was older he wrote the note then we would talk about cashing or banking. That's my clever little story for the day. It worked so well fo us that I had to share. <br /><br />I love your show and THANK YOU for it. It helps me so much in my life and in this crazy world we live in. Clear, concise thinking....what a concept! <br /><br />Gina </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Do you have a parenting trick that works for you? Share it with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-22T17:58:00Z
Rustling Feathers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Rustling-Feathers/-109138991030715394.html
2015-09-22T17:57:00Z
2015-09-22T17:57:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I am so grateful for all that you do to help me and all of your listeners be better people, make better choices, be better parents and have better marriages. <br /><br />I tend to never want to ruffle any feathers. I can be wimpy when it comes to standing up for what is right. You have challenged me to fight this tendency. I find myself being more vocal about what is right and not worrying so much about being liked by everyone. You have also helped me realize how important it is to be my husband's girlfriend. When my 5 children were younger, I focused most of my energies on being a good mom and not as much on being a good wife. I would say I went from a B- to an A+ as a wife since reading "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060520620/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0060520620&linkCode=as2&tag=wwwdrlauracom-20&linkId=5AWR3PAVKGV2KTFV" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a>"! </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Did you notice a change in yourself once you began listening to Dr. Laura? Share your progress with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-22T17:57:00Z
The 'Book Grandma'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Book-Grandma/-27578464964328895.html
2015-09-21T17:58:00Z
2015-09-21T17:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />You're so right! Friday's call from the grandma who's been asked to downscale her gift giving had me nodding in agreement. I agree with your suggestion, that she should check out gift ideas with mom and dad or ask for suggestions. <br /><br />We are a 2nd marriage, with 17 grandchildren. Yikes! It didn't start out that way! Immediately upon becoming a new grandma, I established myself as "the book Grandma." It's become a beloved tradition. It allows me to share my own love of reading. Believe me, as the family has grown it has also allowed us to keep the gift budget in check. <br /><br />More than that, my husband and I agree that we've had our "turn" to be Santa and to give the biggest gifts...with our own kids. Now it's THEIR TURN to choose that great item and build their own set of memories surrounding gift traditions. <br /><br />Love you and all the work you do! <br /><br />Linda</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Do you have a story about one of your grandchildren? Tell us about it, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-21T17:58:00Z
Thank you from a Stay At Home Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-you-from-a-Stay-At-Home-Mom/-779775797790608535.html
2015-09-21T17:57:00Z
2015-09-21T17:57:00Z
<p>Dr Laura, <br /><br />I have been a stay at home mom to my 4-year-old son and I you to thank for that. I have endured disrespect and shaming for this choice. Incredibly, most of this has come from my own mom who also was a stay at home mother. <br /><br />Regardless of the criticism, I have stood by my son's side. I am proud that my son stands out in any crowd. I ALWAYS get the same comments, even from complete strangers: "Wow, he speaks so clearly. Wow he is so smart. He is so friendly." My son has grown up knowing that he is very special, not just a number in a daycare center or in a preschool. My reward is everyday with him. He is a wonderful kid. <br /><br />So, thanks to you, I am now very proud of my choices. Knowing that I have made such a difference in my child's life is extremely rewarding. Even though others have looked down on me, I admire my son and I am thankful for being his full time mom.<br /> <br />Thank you Dr. Laura I don't know If I could have done it without your support. I love you!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Have you dealt with a parenting dilemma? Tell us about it, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-21T17:57:00Z
Dr. Laura on My Shoulder
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dr.-Laura-on-My-Shoulder/689355257086529232.html
2015-09-18T17:58:00Z
2015-09-18T17:58:00Z
<p>I am about to run my second marathon after giving birth to my third sweet baby 8 months ago. The reason I'm telling you is because on all of my training runs I have listened to you. <br /><br />Even today, when I ran my longest run (the big 20 miler), I listened to you for close to three hours. I plan to listen to you during the actual marathon. It's inspiring to hear some of the caller's stories. I can relate to some at times, others I just laugh out loud at your response or how silly some people can be. Thank you for your straight forward wisdom. I feel like I am not only training my body to endure this upcoming marathon but training my mind with wisdom and sound advice. <br /><br />Keep inspiring us all do to what's right!! And thank you for accompanying me on hours and hours of running. </p>
<p>Warm wishes, <br /><br />Amy<br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
<p>Do you have an inspirational story? Share it with us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-18T17:58:00Z
Secrets to a Great Relationship
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Secrets-to-a-Great-Relationship/882860114223032674.html
2015-09-18T17:57:00Z
2015-09-18T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I thought you would get a kick out of these "secrets to a great relationship", I had to share. </p>
<ol>
<li><strong>It is important that you find a man with integrity</strong>: One you can count on to be there for you when you need him, one who doesn't lie to you, and one who understands the importance of true and open communication. </li>
<br />
<li><strong>It is important that you find a man with a strong work ethic</strong>: One who has a good job, one who doesn't shy away from hard work, and one who is also willing to help you around the house. </li>
<br />
<li><strong>It is important that you find a man with a great sense of humor</strong>: One who can make you laugh, one who can find the fun and lightheartedness in everyday activities, and one who makes you smile just being with him.</li>
<br />
<li><strong>It is important that you find a man with sensuality</strong>: One who is emotionally available, one who loves making love to you, and one who adores you above all other women. </li>
<br />
<li><strong>It is important that these four men never meet.</strong></li>
</ol>
<p>Keep up the hard work! I hope this made you smile. I sure did. <br /><br />Warm wishes, <br /><br />Beth<br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
<p>Do you have a joke you'd like to share? Tell us, by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-18T17:57:00Z
Silence Is Powerful
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Silence-Is-Powerful/-877570648597439487.html
2015-09-17T17:58:00Z
2015-09-17T17:58:00Z
<p><br />My mom was an expert in the art of using silence<span>. </span>I immediately revert back to being a teenager when the I think about it. <br /><br />As most teenagers do, I would do something really stupid. My Mom would usually find out about it and just give me <em>the look.</em> I think we all know this look, where the anger and disappointment in her eyes could practically turn you to stone. She would just tell me she was disappointed, turn away and not say another word. I would go to my room, feeling so bad and guilty. I used to wish she would yell at me. I knew if she yelled, then I could be mad at her! <br /><br />That silence made me think and realize how I messed up and more often than not, I usually broke the silence with an apology. I in turn, when the situation was called for, I would use this same method with my kids. I think they hated it as much as I did. <br /><br />Silence is powerful! <br /><br />Thank you, <br /><br />Lorie<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a parenting trick you'd like to share? Tell us about it by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-17T17:58:00Z
Pure Instinct
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Pure-Instinct/-194282221302336201.html
2015-09-17T17:57:00Z
2015-09-17T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I'm a huge fan and just wanted to send you a short clip that's been circulating around the internet titled "Baby Girl's Reaction to First Day of School". When you see how young she is, you realize it's just a daycare and the little girl is purely acting on instinct. We innately need the bond of our parents! <br /><br />Please keep encouraging mothers to stay home with their children...you're the only one. <br /><br />Thanks so much for everything you say and do, <br /><br />Gladys</p>
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/r5hDBbjhFZ8" frameborder="0"></iframe> <br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have an article or video you'd like to share? Share it with us by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-17T17:57:00Z
I AM Doing the Right Thing!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-AM-Doing-the-Right-Thing!/469891909270244711.html
2015-09-16T17:58:00Z
2015-09-16T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I really had to stop what I was doing to say thank you for a call I just heard on your podcast. The call was from Stacy, she was calling about her 19-year-old son who was not making wise financial decisions. I also have a 19-year-old son. Ever since his 15th birthday, it has been challenging.<br /><br />My son is a bright kid. He knows right from wrong, but has always danced to his own beat. He recently moved out and I've had little communication with him. My husband and I do not discuss this situation with any friends. Only a few family members know he has moved out. My motto was to let him go on his own and figure things out his way. I believe that is the only way for him to truly grow and mature. I admit, I do feel bad sometimes because I'm just letting him "be". I feel bad that I'm not contacting him more or trying to rescue him if he's struggling. Hearing this call helped solidify my resolve. It assured me that I am doing the right thing, by realizing he needs to make his own journey. It is not about me. <br /><br />Thank you so much for all you do, this call really did wonders for me! <br /><br />Danielle<br /><br /><br />Did you <em>Do The Right Thing</em>? Tell us about it by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-16T17:58:00Z
Great Memories with Dad...And Dr. Laura!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Great-Memories-with-Dad...And-Dr.-Laura!/-680406696229946120.html
2015-09-16T17:57:00Z
2015-09-16T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Your show is incredibly sentimental to me. I am 32 and I've been listening for about 27 years. I was introduced to you through my dad. <br /><br />During the summers and weekends I would always tag along with him in his work truck. We'd listen to your program together and talk about all the advice you gave. My dad would say, "Here it comes.. She's about to set them straight!" On occasion the radio got turned off abruptly, if it was about a topic that wasn't quite appropriate for my little ears. More often than not, we would go from service call to service call, listening to your program. I recently joined up so I could continue listening to you and I'm so glad I did. Aside from all the great advice, it reminds me of the amazing father that I have and an appreciation for the values that were instilled in me. I hope that your show continues for a long while to come so that I can continue the tradition with my child. <br /><br />Thank you,<br /><br />Ginger<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a sentimental memory you'd like to share? Tell us about it by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-16T17:57:00Z
Failure is Critical to Kids' Success
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Failure-is-Critical-to-Kids-Success/-880122781993891167.html
2015-09-15T17:58:00Z
2015-09-15T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Oh Dr. Laura.... <br /><br />I saw this headline Learn Why Failure Is Critical for Your Kids' Success, appear in my email account, and the minute I started reading the article, I immediately felt the need to share it with you. Rachel Simmons is an amazing author and speaker I'm sure you've likely heard of her and this article is spot-on! Just wanted to share.... <br /><br />Thanks for being the sound of reason. - Lynne <br /><br /><strong>Learn Why Failure Is Critical for Your Kids' Success </strong><br /><br />Your kid forgot his homework. Again. You spy it sitting on the table by the front door, where he neglected to slip it into his bookbag. You can easily stash it in your briefcase and drop it off on your way to work. Do you do it? <br /><br />No way, says middle school teacher and journalist Jessica Lahey. The author of this month’s hot new parenting book, The Gift of Failure, Lahey urges parents to let our kids learn and grow through the mess of their mistakes. <br /><br />Read the entire article <a href="http://girlsleadership.org/blog/learn-why-failure-is-critical-for-your-kids-success/?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_content=Learn%20Why%20Failure%20is%20Important%20-%20Read%20More&utm_campaign=CO%20September%20Newsletter" target="_blank">here</a>. <br /><br /><br />Do you have a parenting article you'd like to share? Share it with us by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-15T17:58:00Z
Marriage Is Worth Working On
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Marriage-Is-Worth-Working-On/-165426620717080206.html
2015-09-15T17:57:00Z
2015-09-15T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi, Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. My husband and I will be married for 25 years later this month. We have had many struggles throughout the years, some of which could have easily caused divorce, but I truly believe that by listening to your show for over 20 years, we have both grown to be much better spouses to each other. We have fought for our marriage and made a point of working on each other daily. My husband is ALWAYS my boyfriend. I will confess I am not always his girlfriend, but I am working on becoming his PERMANENT girlfriend. <br /><br />You are truly a blessing to all of us who believe that marriage is worth working on and should not be easily discarded. <br /><br />Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for "giving me" a husband who is a true man in every aspect. I love him with my entire being. <br /><br />Blessings to you, <br /><br />Susan<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a joke you'd like to share? Tell us by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-15T17:57:00Z
Thanks for Being my Guide
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thanks-for-Being-my-Guide/396334272954529567.html
2015-09-14T17:58:00Z
2015-09-14T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I found you while becoming a stay-at-home mom 9 years ago to our son. <br /><br />My grandparents raised me and never talked to me about life. Due to my difficult childhood, I was questioning if I had what it took to be a good mom. Because of YOU, I have a voice, a very strong voice. Because of YOUR guidance, I have become a wonderful mom and my husband's girlfriend. My son comes to me about everything. We talk about sex, worldly events, how to treat people, giving back to the community, his future, what we expect out of him. He is in public school and I am currently PTA President. I have always volunteered, been seen and available, to him and to the school. <br /><br />My 12 year marriage only gets better with time. I chose wisely and I constantly think "treat kindly" and "is this the hill I want to die on." Or as my husband says "Is this the ant hill you want to kick". I know my husband has lots of stress being a business owner. Life is better when I great him with a smile and a hug, it sets the mood of the evening. Creating a relaxing environment for my husband and my child is a gift that keeps on giving and that I am in charge of. <br /><br />Dr. Laura, thank you for being the second mom I never had, giving me a voice, giving me guidance to be the matriarch of my family. You will be getting my homemade Mother's Day card next year. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Jennifer<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have someone special that has acted as your guide? Tell us about them by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2015-09-14T17:58:00Z
How to Preserve a Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-to-Preserve-a-Husband/-744493583758310871.html
2015-09-14T17:57:00Z
2015-09-14T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><strong>How to Preserve a Husband</strong> <br /><br />Be careful of your selection.<br />Do not choose too young.<br />When selected, give your entire thought to preparation for domestic use. <br /><br />Some wives insist on keeping them in a pickle, others are constantly getting them in hot water. This may make them sour, hard and bitter. <br /><br />Even poor varieties can be made sweet, tender and good by garnishing them with patience, well sweetened with love and seasoned with kisses. <br /><br />Wrap them in a mantle of charity.<br />Keep warm with a steady fire of devotion and serve with peaches and cream.<br />Thus prepared, they will keep for years.<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a joke you'd like to share? Tell us by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-14T17:57:00Z
Kindergarten Cheaper Than Day Care?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Kindergarten-Cheaper-Than-Day-Care/342861842992235645.html
2015-09-11T17:58:00Z
2015-09-11T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura! <br /><br />I thought of you the other day during a recent conversation and wanted to share it with you. I took my 2-year-old daughter to the pool in our complex. I'm a stay-at-home mom, so I'm able to do things like that with my daughter during the day. An acquaintance of mine was there. She asked me how my 8-year-old son's first day 3rd grade was. She then proceeded to tell me her 9-year-old twin grandsons were in 3rd grade. They had repeated kindergarten because they were enrolled when they were only 5 because it was "cheaper than day care." That was a new one to me! I couldn't believe that parents would purposefully enroll their kids into kindergarten before they were ready, just to save money on day care. Unbelievable. <br /><br />Thanks for listening, Dr. Laura, and as always, keep up the good work!! <br /><br />Julia<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever had a difference of opinion with another parent? Tell us about your views by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-11T17:58:00Z
Positively Influencing Others
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Positively-Influencing-Others/-163033666727306902.html
2015-09-11T17:57:00Z
2015-09-11T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am contacting you to thank you for being such an inspiration. I have listened to you for I don't even know how many years. <br /><br />My step-father is a fairly well known artist and paints like a modern day Rockwell. Family and children have always been his subjects, but due to changes in the art market and the recession, I have had to make changes for the future. This career I have had with his company allowed my wife and I to raise 4 kids without day care. They come to work with us or she stays home and it's been a blessing. The part where your inspiration comes in is from your recommendation years ago when you told someone to see if there was a therapist in Marriage and Family Therapy in her area. Since then I have heard the suggestion a few times and as of this past July I started my master's degree in marriage and family therapy. You have also helped to form my goal in life of making family better for children whenever possible. I am not certain I would be doing this if I did not listen to you for all this time. While I am only in my first 2 classes, I see a lot of the reasons why you ask what you do and say what you do. I have over 10 years of Dr. Laura's classes... lol. <br /><br />Thank you so much for the impact you have had on my life and how this will positively influence other's lives. <br /><br />Kevin<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a friend or relative who is a positive influence? Tell us about them by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-11T17:57:00Z
How Men Show Their Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Men-Show-Their-Love/-261981658811037113.html
2015-09-10T17:58:00Z
2015-09-10T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Good Morning Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Thank you! I say this because when I started listening to you a few years ago, you woke something up in me that I had always known and understood, but had forgotten for a few years. I had strong feminist women around me who had rattled my brain around and knocked the "men are fixers" context out of my head completely. <br /><br />I come from a family where my dad has always been a very outgoing personality. So I always knew I was loved. We all did/do. However, I am a product of a blended family that had started as an exceptionally messy divorce from my mother who used warfare to help perpetuate a skewed view of the world. <br /><br />Well, I am happy to say....you woke that part of my brain back up. I started to see this when my man, who is a naturally quiet guy who has a story too sad to tell with regards to his childhood, has a family that has very little concept of physical emotion in the first place. He was never taught those things and got exceptionally protective of me after my best friend broke my heart. He became my champion and protector in that moment! I knew he was the love of my life already, but he truly showed emotions I had no idea he had. Since then he has stood by my side through a few very dramatic family squabbles and work issues. He essentially saving my sanity!! I have told him every day he is my hero for all he has given me. I know how much he loves me and I will always love him! I am his girlfriend, he is my boyfriend. I credit my eyes being opened 4 years ago to you. Once you said "men are fixers", I started to notice those "little things" and, we have been so much happier as a result. So thank you for being Mother Laura!! <br /><br />Thank you for putting up with the frustrations that you go through on air. We are listening, we are learning. Keep up the great work!! <br /><br />Jackie<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you an Uh-Huh moment while listening? Tell us about it by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-10T17:58:00Z
Why They Don't Call
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-They-Dont-Call/172735476209090058.html
2015-09-10T17:57:00Z
2015-09-10T17:57:00Z
<p><br />After 20 years, I am re-reading "To Kill a Mockingbird". There's a scene in the book between Scout and Dill. Dill has run away and Scout wants to know why. </p>
<blockquote>"Didn't you build that boat like you wrote you were gonna?" "He just said he would. We never did." I raised up on my elbow facing Dill's out line. "It's no reason to run off..." "That wasn't it...they just wasn't interested in me...they stayed gone all the time, and when they were home, even, they'd get off in a room by themselves." "Dill, you ain't telling me right... "The thing is, what I'm tryin' to say is-they do get on a lot better without me...They ain't mean. They buy me everything I want, but it's now-you've-got-to-go-play-with-it. You've got a roomful of things. I-got-you-that-book-so-go-read-it." </blockquote>
The mother had remarried and the son had taken a backseat to them. I got to tell you, I'm a 52-year-old man and when I read this I wanted to cry. Don't ignore your children. One day they're going to be out of the house and you're going to wonder why they never call. <br /><br />Brian <br /><br /><br />Have you ever read something that made an impact on you? Tell us what it was by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-10T17:57:00Z
Teaching a Child to Say Thank You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teaching-a-Child-to-Say-Thank-You/-206529294363854067.html
2015-09-09T17:58:00Z
2015-09-09T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I thought of a clever way to teach my child to respond to a "giver" of a gift when the child doesn't see giver in person. My son would receive things by mail, either gifts or checks, as we lived out of the area. When he received them, the rule was he couldn't play with the gift or cash the check (I held the checks, of course,) until he either thanked the giver by phone, or when old enough, he wrote a thank you note! It worked well for us, even at a young age. I would say let's call so in so and thank them, or when he was older, he would most likely get a check, in which he wrote the note, then we would talk about cashing or banking. Anyway, that's my clever little story for the day. It worked for us. <br /><br />I love your show and THANK YOU for it. It helps me so much in my life and in this crazy world we live in. Clear, concise thinking....what a concept! Been a listener for over 25 years. <br /><br />Karen<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have parenting tricks that works for you? Tell us about them by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-09T17:58:00Z
Why Our 44 Years of Marriage Have Worked
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Our-44-Years-of-Marriage-Have-Worked/956832994368983478.html
2015-09-09T17:57:00Z
2015-09-09T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Although I have probably missed the opportunity to weigh in on the issue of successful marriages, I think that I can offer a few thoughts on how it has worked for us. </p>
<ol>
<li>We have always talked. About everything: finances, children, our relationship, etc. It takes many years to learn how to "argue" and come to a conclusion. We respect each other's opinion and sometimes my idea prevails and sometimes hers does. You need to be flexible. It works.</li>
<br />
<li>Our decisions are based on what is best for US. Not me, not her, but us. I see very little of this nowadays as marriages have devolved into "what is in it for me?"</li>
<br />
<li>We laugh, A LOT! Face it, the world is a funny place and we have learned that we are going to take advantage of what other people and ourselves do as we try to get through the day.</li>
<br />
<li>And lastly, as you age, you realize that there will ALWAYS be problems. Family problems, health problems, etc. People marrying today don't seem to understand that problems occur in all families and you don't start turning on each other when bad things occur. Even, you, Dr. Laura, have problems, but your show is not based on what is going on in your life, but rather in helping your listeners. If you didn't have to deal with day-to-day issues then all you would be is just another doctor with a degree in psychobabble. What makes the show worth listening to is the combination of your degree with the real world experiences that you have had. </li>
</ol>
<p><br />I am hoping that you live to be 100, but that may be for selfish reasons! <br /><br />Thanks, <br /><br />Paul<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a success story about your marriage? Tell us about them by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-09T17:57:00Z
A German Shepherd Named 'Mikey' or 'Maike'?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-German-Shepherd-Named-Mikey-or-Maike/-268283623511306409.html
2015-09-08T17:58:00Z
2015-09-08T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I've been listening to your program since 1999 when you were on terrestrial radio, and absolutely LOVE your quick-witted, brutally honest advice you dole out. You are the voice of reason to so many, and even though the truth may hurt, you never bat the eyelash of restraint. <br /><br />You mentioned you were preparing for a new <a href="/f/photos?detID=-53905555162992848" target="_blank">German Shepherd puppy</a> and that the first name that popped into your head to call him was "Mikey". My ears perked up, not that they don't on any other day I'm listening to your show, but they may have perked up a tad taller when I heard you announce that. I'm not sure how you are spelling his name, but I wanted you to know I was elated to hear you chose that name because my name is "Maike" too, and I'm a purebred German gal. I was born in Germany, and spelled like my name, "Maike" is a German name! How fitting then to call your German Shepherd "Mikey". I just had to share that with you! I have always been partial to German Shepherds as a breed. I bred them, raised them, trained them, dabbled in showing and I must say, they are a noble, intelligent, and loyal breed. You won't be disappointed with your choice. I hope he brings you many years of protection and companionship. <br /><br />Anyway, keep up the wonderful advice you give on your show. You are a true-blue advocate for protecting children and families in despair. I hope you never retire! The world needs more Dr. Laura values and no-nonsense advice. Thank you for all that you give to your listeners. You do make a difference in all our lives when we have decisions regarding relationships to make, and the first question that pops into our heads is "what would Dr. Laura say?" Take care and have fun with your pink VW and your new GS pup "Mikey"! <br /><br />Your admiring fan and daily listener, <br /><br />Maike<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a furry friend that brings joy to your life? Tell us about them by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-08T17:58:00Z
Not Reaching Their Full Potential
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Not-Reaching-Their-Full-Potential/-612149535372877919.html
2015-09-08T17:57:00Z
2015-09-08T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Thank you so much for addressing the yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer situation. I applaud your courage to hold her accountable for her disgusting behavior because it gives others the courage to do the same. The news of her abandoning her twin babies at two weeks flooded my Facebook timeline. I commented she should give the babies up for adoption since she plans to not raise them and farm them out to hired help at just 2 weeks. Her job as CEO could be replaced but her job as a mother couldn't. As expected I was harshly criticized and told I was judging too harshly and knew nothing. Quite frankly, I don't care if others disagree. It's time we take a stand. These rich companies will survive the absence of women who leave to raise their babies. These babies however, will not flourish to their full potential with nannies and daycare. Thanks again, Natasha<br /><br /><br /><br />Has there been a story in your life where you took a stand for motherhood? Share your story by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-08T17:57:00Z
Gum Wrapper Equals Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Gum-Wrapper-Equals-Love/-267790929244957729.html
2015-09-04T17:58:00Z
2015-09-04T17:58:00Z
<p><br />In July of 1970, I was on my third date with my now husband of 44 years. I lived on a lovely island surrounded by the Detroit River. We were driving along the lazy river road when he unwrapped a piece of gum, balled up the wrapper and threw it out the window. Being a teen during the 60's I was all about love, peace and saving the environment. "I can't believe you did that!" I said, appalled by his behavior. "You know, if we start now, it will take 10 years to clean up this polluted river!" My now-husband is 6 years my senior so he was not quite in this frame of mind. He looked over at me and abruptly stopped the car in the middle the road. Thankfully no cars were behind us. I was shocked as he leapt out and ran behind the car. I watched him rummage through the grass along the water. The next thing I knew he was at my window handing me a balled up gum wrapper. He came around, jumped in his seat, closed the door and said "You're right, I apologize." It was a defining moment. Whether he really found the original wrapper or cleverly used another didn't matter. The fact that he showed he cared about what I cared about was enough for me. <br /><br />Our daughter loves re-telling the gum wrapper story. <br /><br />Forty-four years later, I'm still not quite sure if he found the original wrapper or not. He says he did, but I always see a slight twinkle in his eye. By the way, on our fourth date he asked me to marry him. I didn't say yes, and I didn't say no, but it didn't take me long to realize he was the real deal. <br /><br />Linda <br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a sweet memory of when you were dating your spouse? Share your memory by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-04T17:58:00Z
Stay-at-Home Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stay-at-Home-Mom/-541971802766459247.html
2015-09-04T17:57:00Z
2015-09-04T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I listen to your show every day and almost always love what you say. Sometimes I wish you would say more to certain people, but I know there's only so much time to get the point across. <br /><br />I ordered 20 copies of your book "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Praise-Stay-at-Home-Moms-Laura-Schlessinger/dp/0061690309/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1441235998&sr=1-1&keywords=in+praise+of+stay+at+home+moms&pebp=1441236012148&perid=009JD9PJ8BJJYMC6MMVN" target="_blank">In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms</a>". I plan on giving them to women I know with kidlits who they stick in day care. I'm trying to save the world, one mom at a time. Haha. We have to do what we can, right? <br /><br />I'm 63 and have four grown-up children now. I'm sad to say I worked during the first few years of my two oldest children's lives. Then their father and I worked out a system and for the next two, we split shifts so one took care of them in the morning while the other would be with them in the afternoon. I was very fortunate to have had a job that allowed me that. Still, if I had it to do all over, I would have done anything necessary to have been able to stay home with the first two all day. <br /><br />Thanks so much for every good message you pass on to your public. Hoping for a better world. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Melody <br /><br /><br /><br />Were you or your wife a stay-at-home mom? How did you manage it? Share your story by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-04T17:57:00Z
It Will Never Change
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Will-Never-Change/-156736151550880333.html
2015-09-03T17:58:00Z
2015-09-03T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My mother gave my 9-year-old son a $5 board game wrapped in flowered paper with a pink bow. Earlier, she had given my 11-year-old niece an $80 jacket for her birthday. My mother always favored my brother's children, but this was over the top. I stopped talking to her for a week, but then my father called and talked me into speaking to her again. I will always regret this because she continued to show favoritism and I put my two sons through a lot of pain for a long time. Something happened recently that finally sent me over the edge and I have not talked to my mother in 2 months. <br /><br />When I listen to some of your callers and they complain about similar mothers, I just want to scream and yell, "Run!!!!! Don't give her another chance. It will never change and you will forever regret not letting go sooner." <br /><br />Jo Ann <br /><br /><br /><br />As a parent, when did you catch yourself showing favoritism between your children? Share your story by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-03T17:58:00Z
Hook Up Culture
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hook-Up-Culture/-160037642475004154.html
2015-09-03T17:57:00Z
2015-09-03T17:57:00Z
<p><br />I can understand people who think sex is for marriage fretting about the hook up culture. What I don't get is people who have little moral objection to unmarried sex "as long as they love each other" being aghast about others "hooking up". I fail to see why it is so much better if two people spend a lot of time, money and emotion on each other when, odds are, they are not going to be together in five years, especially if they are both mostly looking for sex. Somehow, fornication is supposed to be "OK" as long as people also do other things together in addition to fornication. From which ancient source of wisdom does such thinking come? <br /><br />"Hooking up" is the inevitable result of many cultural trends, primarily the ditching of the objective standard of saving sex for marriage, and eliminating any shaming of unmarried sex. <br /><br />Kenneth <br /><br /><br /><br />What are your thoughts about the "hook up" culture? Share your thoughts with us by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-03T17:57:00Z
PTA and Other Organizations
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/PTA-and-Other-Organizations/-43510155301320632.html
2015-09-02T17:58:00Z
2015-09-02T17:58:00Z
<p><br />I'm the president of the PTA at my kiddo's school this year. It's my last child and it was 'my turn.' I'd like to offer some advice to your listeners regarding staying out of the 'muck' in organizations such as these: </p>
<blockquote><strong>Don't Answer Your Phone.</strong></blockquote>
At least, don't answer your phone the first time you get a call from another parent. If they leave a message, take time to think it through before you call them back. If they don't leave a message, don't call them back. If it's really important and they are willing to put the information in an email or text, it's probably worth addressing. However - we women - and I'm as guilty of it as anyone else - tend to over dramatize, over-react and get off subject when we are given immediate and unlimited attention especially over the phone. I much prefer face-to-face or written exchanges. That way I can fully concentrate or have time to process what they might really mean and ask questions if I'm wrong. In this day and age of technology, we do ourselves no favors by being constantly available. Cut down on the chaos and stress in your life: Don't answer your phone. <br /><br />Cynthia <br /><br /><br /><br />We'd love to hear your advice regarding working with other parents or volunteer groups. Share your story by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>.
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-02T17:58:00Z
The Difference Between Men and Women
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Difference-Between-Men-and-Women/749442305203614344.html
2015-09-02T17:57:00Z
2015-09-02T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura: <br /><br />I'm a retired federal law enforcement officer and have enjoyed listening to you for years and appreciate all you do to try to restore America to its traditional values. Not an easy task, to say the least. <br /><br />Keep up the great work. I thought you might appreciate the little parody below. <br /><br />Best wishes, <br /><br />Scott <br /><br /><br /><strong>The Difference Between Men and Women</strong> <br /><br />"Hello. You have reached the Men's Help Line. My name is Bob. How can I help you?" <br /><br />"Hi Bob. I really need your advice on a serious problem. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. You know, just the usual signs: when the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up. Plus, she goes out with "the girls" a lot. I usually try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home, but I always fall asleep. Anyway, last night about midnight, I woke up and she was not home. So I hid in the garage behind my boat and waited for her. When she came home, she got out of someone's car, buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, while crouched behind the boat, that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard motor mounting bracket. Is that something I can weld, or do I need to replace the whole bracket?" <br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a humorous story regarding the differences between the sexes? Share your story by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-02T17:57:00Z
Are You a Carrot, an Egg or a Coffee Bean?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Are-You-a-Carrot,-an-Egg-or-a-Coffee-Bean/941798465371170027.html
2015-09-01T17:58:00Z
2015-09-01T17:58:00Z
<p><br />Amy sent in this story regarding self-awareness... <br /><br />A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. <br /><br />Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed coffee beans. <br /><br />She let them sit and boil without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. <br /><br />Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," her daughter replied. <br /><br />She brought her daughter closer and asked her to feel the carrots. The girl noted they were soft and mushy. She then asked her daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, her daughter observed the hardened egg. Finally, she asked the girl to sip the coffee. <br /><br />The daughter smiled as she tasted its deep flavor and inhaled its rich aroma. She then asked, "What's the point, Mother?" <br /><br />Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity - boiling water - but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin, outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. <br /><br />The coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water. <br /><br />"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?" <br /><br />Are you the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, wilts and loses strength? Are you the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but after a hardship or some other trial, have you become hardened and stiff? Or are you like the coffee bean that when faced with adversity, actually changes the hot water into something quite wonderful? <br /><br />When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level? How do you handle adversity? <br /><br />(Somehow, wake up and smell the coffee takes on a whole new meaning) <br /><br />-Author Unknown <br /><br /><br /><br />Has there been a story in your life that gave you an "AHA" moment? Share your story by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-01T17:58:00Z
Dating Children of Divorced Parents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dating-Children-of-Divorced-Parents/-230083694603309237.html
2015-09-01T17:57:00Z
2015-09-01T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />I've dated several men whose parents were divorced. Nice men, good men, but men that I ultimately chose not to trust. It seems to me that when a child is hurt by parental conflict, typically what the child wants is for the parents to reconcile. When that doesn't happen and a parent hardens his or her heart to the feelings of the rest of the family and walks away, the child internalizes these cruel lessons. </p>
<ul>
<li>Look out for #1.</li>
<br />
<li>What you want doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what I, the parent, want.</li>
<br />
<li>It's my life; I have to do what's right for me. No matter how much pain you, the child, experience at the hands of selfish parents. </li>
</ul>
<p>It seems like they internalize these lessons as the way life really works, and their own hearts absorb some of that stoniness. Often in a marriage, one or the other wants to give up. In my experience, my friends who are products of divorces are usually the ones that quickly resort to that alternative. <br /><br />Carol </p>
<br /><br />Have you had an experience with divorce? Share your story by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an <span>email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-09-01T17:57:00Z
Day Care Child Almost Drowns
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Day-Care-Child-Almost-Drowns/-323666072544042492.html
2015-08-31T16:58:00Z
2015-08-31T16:58:00Z
<p><br />Hi, Dr Laura. <br /><br />I found this story on my wife's Facebook. A very scary time for the "day care" child and her parents. It's sad parents want others to raise their children and put them in harm's way. <br /><br /></p>
<blockquote>Today, I was at Cultas Lake public beach floating on an air mattress when I heard a little girl's voice trying to yell for help. Every time the words hardly came out, water filled her mouth and she sunk down under the water numerous times, but bobbing back up to the surface for air. Thank God I was close. I jumped in, swam over, grabbed her from under the water and pulled her up. She wrapped her arms around me. If I hadn't been close enough to hear her or get to her she would have drowned. It was absolutely terrifying! I carried/swam with her to shore asking where her mommy or daddy was. She said they weren't there; she was with the day care lady and was scared she would be in trouble. When she finally pointed out who the day care lady was, I saw the woman looking down at her phone, having no idea anything had happened. When I let her know what happened, the lady seemed completely unaffected even though I was still affected and shaking. She did not so much as ask if the little girl was ok, all she asked the girl was if she went too deep. There was zero concern from this lady or any affection shown to the child. She simply did not care. <br /><br />Eventually the little girl went swimming again along with about 6 other day care kids, but the woman just looked back down at her phone, hardly ever glancing up. <br /><br />A child in her care almost drowned and that did nothing to get her out of her chair or off the phone. </blockquote>
<br />My wife continued to spread the word so this woman would not be permitted to watch children again, particularly at the lake. <br /><br />Keep nagging us, Dr. Laura, and perhaps we will hear less and less of these type examples. <br /><br />Rick <br /><br /><br /><br />Have you ever saved a child from harm's way? Share your story by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an <span>email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-08-31T16:58:00Z
I Didn't Realize Cinnamon Rolls Were on My 'List'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Didnt-Realize-Cinnamon-Rolls-Were-on-My-List/-790866955535649384.html
2015-08-31T16:57:00Z
2015-08-31T16:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi, Dr. Laura, I had just started dating my now husband. He met all the qualifications on my "list". He was friends with his family members. He had a master's degree in a technical field. He had never been married and didn't have kids already. He even drove a manual transmission car. That last qualification seems unnecessary, but to me it showed he wasn't a poser. So, he looked good "on paper", but was he really the one who would lay his life down for me? Early one Saturday morning, he came to my apartment to start the day with me. We decided we wanted cinnamon rolls to eat while we read the paper. This was in 1986 when the big, gooey cinnamon roll shops were just created and the only place to get one was across town. It would have been easy for him to tell me to go, or settle for going to the close by supermarket for pastry, especially since it was raining. Instead, he went cross town in the rain to get cinnamon rolls for me. That showed me he wanted ME to be happy and safe. It has been like that since then. We've been married 25 years and have three sons, two in college and one still in high school. He's been the best father for the boys, showing them how to be good men who will work hard and honor the women in their lives. I chose wisely. Sincerely, Lisa And if you have a story about when you knew your now spouse was the one for you...<br /><br /><br />Are you grateful for something in your life? Please share it with us by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an <span>email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-08-31T16:57:00Z
Grateful for Loving This Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Grateful-for-Loving-This-Life/16853391928811422.html
2015-08-28T17:58:00Z
2015-08-28T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I saw on your page <a href="https://www.facebook.com/drlaura" target="_blank">Facebook.com/DrLaura</a>, you asked what are we grateful for. There are so many things, but of course our hearts are filled with the joy of our family. <br /><br />My husband and I are coming up on our 8th anniversary this year. We have 4 children, 7 and under, and yesterday, we lost our 5th. I was early in my 6 weeks into my first trimester, and had heard the heartbeat earlier in the week and saw the shape of the tiny body on the screen. I had some bleeding and went to the doctor's yesterday. The baby's heartbeat was still there, but was very slow. The doctor gave me some meds to help sustain the pregnancy, but it was too late. I got home and in the privacy of 10 minutes in my bathroom, I passed the life that would have been held, loved and kissed the following April. It was heartbreaking and painful in so many ways. To think people view babies just a clump of cells when there is a heartbeat, I wish they could have been in my body at this moment. <br /><br />I'm grateful in the Lord's Mercy as likely this happened due to an abnormality of some sort, but I'm grateful for being allowed to love this life if only for a little bit. I look forward to joining this soul again in heaven. For now we will hug the babies we have and try again at some point soon. Loren <br /><br /><br /><br />Are you grateful for something in your life? Please share it with us by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an <span>email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-08-28T17:58:00Z
Seemed to Have No Conscience
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Seemed-to-Have-No-Conscience/367189830794349304.html
2015-08-28T17:57:00Z
2015-08-28T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />This is in response to the letter: <a href="/b/95-of-Mens-Wives/-787452435566771683.html" target="_blank">95% of Men's Wives</a> <br /><br />I was a substitute teacher for a few years and it was really easy to pick out the day care kids. Yes, subbing has its challenges and is not always an easy job because the students prefer the regular teacher, like children prefer Mom. What I found in the classroom is that the day care kids were unmerciful in their negative reaction to me. They seemed to have no conscience compared to their classmates. Also, there were more learning disabilities in this group. How did I find this out? I asked the child and started a conversation. Children do like one-on-one attention and when it looks like they are not going to be sent out of class for poor behavior, they seem to settle down. <br /><br />There seems to be a higher percentage of children diagnosed with autism and related syndromes than in the past. Is there any evidence to support a theory these children are placed in the care of someone other than their birth mothers? <br /><br />I totally agree with you that if a woman is going to have children she needs to be the only one to raise them. <br /><br />Lelia <br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a story about raising your own kids? Tell us about it by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an <span>email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-08-28T17:57:00Z
A Flurry of Fur
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Flurry-of-Fur/-404405503333555558.html
2015-08-27T17:58:00Z
2015-08-27T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I love cats. While we were dating, my future husband, a big tough construction worker, thought it would impress me to know that he liked cats too, although he had a dog. In fact, he mentioned several times his neighbor's cat would just wander over to his house and hang out with him. Aww...how sweet is that? <br /><br />Well, my husband-to-be invited me to his house for a dinner date. It was lovely...homemade breaded pork chops, mashed potatoes and baked beans! While we were eating, we heard a scratching on the front screen door. "See, there's Ricky here to see me!", my future husband said. He was so excited. He opened the door and bent down to pick up the cat. Well, the next thing I saw was Ricky attaching himself to my husband-to-be's face in a flurry of fur, teeth, and slashing claws. OMGosh! My soon-to-be and now bloody husband pulled Ricky the FERAL BARN CAT off of him, GENTLY set him outside the door, turned wide-eyed to look at me, and...LAUGHED. We both laughed until we cried. He didn't get angry. He didn't curse. He didn't kick the cat. He just laughed! <br /><br />Although it seems silly and there are many other factors involved THAT made me decide I wanted to be his wife. I chose very wisely. We have been happily married for 20 years now. We are raising two really good boys. I am a proud stay-at-home mom. <br /><br />We laugh A LOT. I am so thankful and blessed. And yes, we have a dog and a CAT! <br /><br />Terri <br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a fun moment you'd like to share? Tell us about it by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an <span>email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-08-27T17:58:00Z
Sad State of Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sad-State-of-Marriage/454197207195432107.html
2015-08-27T17:57:00Z
2015-08-27T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />I had to chuckle at <a href="/b/Children-Hearing-Parents-Having-Sex/-600992417107601937.html" target="_blank">Jan's email of the day</a> concerning her 13-year-old daughter hearing her parents have sex. <br /><br />After our three children arrived, I was told by my wife the only time we could have sex was early Saturday mornings and we had to be very quiet so as to not awaken anyone. By the way, foreplay was not allowed. I gave up - we now sleep in separate rooms and have done so for over fifteen years. <br /><br />Junior<br /><br /><br /><br />Has an email resonated with you? Tell us about it by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an <span>email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-08-27T17:57:00Z
Words I'm Living By
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Words-Im-Living-By/127409966404913296.html
2015-08-26T17:58:00Z
2015-08-26T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />A call that stayed with me was from a woman who had been a runner. While training, she fell in the street, causing her so much emotional pain she no longer has the motivation to run. Not in these exact words, you told her that her fear of running is not because of the fall, but rather it has become an excuse. Prior to that fall, she believed she could beat her best time. Now she can say, "IF I were running again, I could totally beat my best time." That alleviates the pressure of actually having to fulfill that promise. I think your advice was absolutely correct and spot on. I'm finding myself thinking of that call often and how what I say or do impacts things in my life. Am I not doing an activity because I really can't or because it's easier to think "What If?!" I just wanted to say that your words resonated with me and I appreciate your advice often. Thank you for all that you do. <br /><br />Sarah <br /><br /><br /><br />Has a call resonated with you? Tell us about it by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an <span>email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-08-26T17:58:00Z
It's Supposed to Hurt
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Supposed-to-Hurt/992251298806915390.html
2015-08-26T17:57:00Z
2015-08-26T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />In my Facebook feed, I saw your Dr. Laura Says, "There is no shortcut to getting over a breakup. We all have to go through the pain and grief." Sorrow builds growth. No matter the situation: who broke up with whom, why the relationship deteriorated, or even who was at fault. At some point you loved; and therefore, it hurts. Let it. But don't allow the hurt to be confused. Take it in. Learn YOUR fault in the breakdown (we ALL have some accountability, even if minute). Take your lesson of your fault: trusting someone you knew wasn't trustworthy (red flags are actually are golden flags!!); you were too passive-too aggressive, or maybe both; they played you or you played them. <br /><br />The list is long. Relationships are messy! Whatever it may be. Feelings were involved and in the end, you hurt. Take what is yours and build for the next go round. Give yourself grace... Hurt, hurts. It takes time! Longer for some than others. Trust your gut, it knows!! Keri <br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a breakup story where you learned something from the pain? Tell us about it by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-08-26T17:57:00Z
95% of Men's Wives
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/95-of-Mens-Wives/-787452435566771683.html
2015-08-25T16:58:00Z
2015-08-25T16:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I'm a long, long time listener - 20 years! Thanks to you I got the courage to stay home - even at the cost of my marriage. I think that 95% of men out there should thank you for bringing moms back home to care for their children. That leaves 5% of men who hate you forever. I happened to marry the latter pool. <br /><br />I read your books, I did the best I could, pretending I had a good and supportive husband. But I went back to work after my 3 months maternity leave because my husband wouldn't "allow" me to stay home. I arranged my 70-year-old mom to take care of our son until he was 9 months old. I could never forget his eyes every morning when I was leaving him for work, from happy to gazing far distance away. What have I done? How could I leave him when he needed me the most to take care of him? <br /><br />Later our baby was diagnosed with Autism. That was when I told my husband, "I have to take care of our son!" Then his tears came down and he said he'd never want his son to go through the poverty he'd been through. I assured him I would go find a job should he lose his job one day. That didn't comfort him because then he told me if I still wanted to quit, he would divorce me. That was when I knew I lost respect for him because I didn't care whether he'd divorce me or not any more. <br /><br />My husband also said, "All his female co-workers were used to leaving their children to day care. What was wrong with me?" My determination got our son a mother to stay home and raise him, but I didn't have a loving husband for the past 20 years. We didn't divorce. We didn't have sex, we didn't have anything between us other than a son. The resentment was/is still huge. But, that was my choice. Even without all that, to be a stay-at-home mother, I'd say, "t's worth it." I cook the meals, clean the house, behave like a wife even though my heart is sometimes sour. I also became our son's one-on-one tutor providing assistance when he needed it while he did his homework. I have made the best of a bad situation. I'll stay married as long as there is food, shelter, and transportation for our son and me. <br /><br />Dr. Laura, I may have married into the 5% pool, but if I can make it through all these crappy years, then those 95% of men's lucky wives should appreciate their motherhood down to their cell levels. Life is not finished until we know what our purpose is. May your listeners make wise decisions before they are married! <br /><br />Thank you very much. You've done a great job! Thank you! <br /><br />A.<br /><br /><br /><span>Do you have an inspiring story or thought to share? Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-08-25T16:58:00Z
A Life is Such an Awesome Force
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Life-is-Such-an-Awesome-Force/-495011339210845660.html
2015-08-25T16:57:00Z
2015-08-25T16:57:00Z
<p><br />I read your blog "How to Act Around a Dying Loved One" and it reminded me of a poem I wrote before attending a funeral of a friend's father. <br /><br /><br /><strong>Death Overtakes You</strong> <br /><br />Death overtakes you like a summer storm. <br />Suddenly, It's upon you.<br />Darkness covers your world... <br /><br />Fear grips you. <br />Consumes you. <br />The lightning appears. <br />It reveals things you did not see. <br />Things you forgot. <br /><br />The thunder roars. <br />You hear things you did not hear. <br />Remembering...Rain quenches; Washing away your sorrow and pain. <br />Carrying away your tears. Passing... The sun comes out again <br /><br />And everything is new, and sweet, and cool. <br />Memories...A rainbow appears <br />Nestled against the ominous backdrop of black thunderheads. <br /><br />You are taken by the impact of the moment. <br />A life, Such an awesome force, <br />And what it left behind....The promise of you. <br /><br />Maryanne Dunne<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have an inspiring poem or story to share? Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2015-08-25T16:57:00Z
When Someone Is Going Blind
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-Someone-Is-Going-Blind/-526584909429605501.html
2015-08-24T17:57:00Z
2015-08-24T17:57:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I was listening to your show and couldn't help but be interested in the call about the man who is going blind with Retinitis Pigmentosa. I have been a rehabilitation teacher for the blind for the last 30 years in a state run blind rehabilitation agency. Every state has one and his wife can Google state agencies where they live. Something should come up.</p>
<p>Also, she can search for the <a href="http://www.afb.org/default.aspx" target="_blank">American Foundation for the Blind</a> online. They have every private and public rehabilitation agency at their fingertips. These services are free, paid for by the taxpayer. There are government agencies that actually earn their keep!</p>
<p>Before the man can get a guide dog he needs to become proficient with the white cane. No reputable guide school will accept a student unless he is independent with a cane. The above mentioned agencies offer cane training and daily living skills training to all who need it. There is no waiting period as federal guidelines prevent this. </p>
<p>To get a diagnosis of blindness is obviously very devastating; however, there are many fine and dedicated agencies and individuals ready to help anyone who finds themselves in this situation.</p>
<p>Sincerely, a loyal fan, </p>
<p>Kristine<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you heard a call you'd like to weigh in on? Sign up for the FREE Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2015-08-24T17:57:00Z
Choosing a Life Partner Well
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Choosing-a-Life-Partner-Well/153478119577771197.html
2015-08-24T17:57:00Z
2015-08-24T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Yup, this short video is the epitome of choosing well for both sexes. Made me laugh hard! </p>
<p>The last thing a guy needs is a shallow self-centered woman, and the last thing a woman needs is a guy who doesn't sacrifice for her and make her special. For some of your listeners you need to play the line from the movie, <em>Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade,</em>where the knight says "He chose ... poorly." <br /><br />Have a great day.<br /><br />Jim<br /><br /></p>
<p>Do you have a dating story or video to share? Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. <br /><br /> <iframe height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/NgFhJN4H0T0" frameborder="0" width="560"></iframe></p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-08-24T17:57:00Z
Giving Away the Bride
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Giving-Away-the-Bride/-491730675929121958.html
2015-08-21T17:58:00Z
2015-08-21T17:58:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>I attended a wedding where the bride's father had unexpectedly died weeks before the wedding. The bride could not find it in her heart to replace her dad with the task of giving her away. During a family meeting, the groom, assured the bride that he would take care of the concern. He urged her to trust him, then asked her to walk in the church and wait in the back. Family encouraged the bride that her father would not wish for her to postpone a wedding that was already paid for.<br /><br /> The day of the wedding, the men all in dress whites, walked in to the church. As the music began, bridesmaids in a lovely shade of blue entered the room. The Bride finally entered the back of the church, the sanctuary doors closed behind her and everyone patiently waited. That handsome bridegroom softly marched to the back and escorted his bride like a prince. There was not a dry eye in the house. We all witnessed a man's first step in being there for his wife. The event was charming, and precious! <br /><br />I love and respect your work, </p>
<p>Dan</p>
Staff
2015-08-21T17:58:00Z
Aging with Grace
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Aging-with-Grace/-209084473717504921.html
2015-08-21T17:57:00Z
2015-08-21T17:57:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />You are a grand example of accepting aging with grace. You hard work to keep fit and are just awesome. I always think of you during my workout. I found this video and wanted to share another great example with you. <br /><br />This woman is 70 years old. <a href="https://www.facebook.com/173551316034920/videos/933066886750022" target="_blank">Here is a video </a>of her finishing the Boston Marathon of trail races, The Western States 100. Yes, it is a hundred mile foot race! She finished it in 29 hours 59 minutes and 54 seconds. If she had come in even part of a second over 30 hours she wouldn't have been recognized as a finisher. <br /><br />I am 49, a long way from 70, but when I get there I want to inspire like her. That means working hard now to fit and healthy. <br /><br />Thank you and have a great week! <br /><br />Jen </p>
Staff
2015-08-21T17:57:00Z
Marriage Can Be a Picnic
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Marriage-Can-Be-a-Picnic/-699860261126351182.html
2015-08-20T17:57:00Z
2015-08-20T17:57:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I had to smile today when you were talking about the movie "Picnic." My parents' first date was supposed to be going to see that movie; however, my dad made a mistake and it actually wasn't showing at the local theater. He ended up taking my mother to the drive-in for some other movie! My mother was the ultimate Southern belle and lady!! Daddy said she almost broke the door off leaning against it during the whole movie.</p>
<p>Long story....they were 32 and 30; it was July 1956. They got engaged in October and were married in January 1957. Had my brother in November of 1957 my dad said, "That's what honeymoons are made for." I came along in May 1960. They enjoyed 57 years of marriage until they both passed away in 2014 at 89 and 87. They made a wonderful example of what a great marriage looks like. I have been married to my husband for 31 years.</p>
<p>Thanks for all your great advice!</p>
<p>Barbara</p>
Staff
2015-08-20T17:57:00Z
Our Hook-Up Culture
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-Hook-Up-Culture/-603798468275645353.html
2015-08-19T17:58:00Z
2015-08-19T17:58:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>This article is from Vanity Fair. When did we get to the level of not even dating? </p>
<p>Basically the abundance of sexual partners who require NOTHING of their prospective sexual partners has discouraged men from even dating, forget marriage. They don't even need to buy dinner and movie tickets anymore! - Rose</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Tinder and the Dawn of the "Dating Apocalypse"</strong></p>
<p>It's a balmy night in Manhattan’s financial district, and at a sports bar called Stout, everyone is Tindering. The tables are filled with young women and men who've been chasing money and deals on Wall Street all day, and now they’re out looking for hookups. Everyone is drinking, peering into their screens and swiping on the faces of strangers they may have sex with later that evening. Or not. "Ew, this guy has Dad bod," a young woman says of a potential match, swiping left. Her friends smirk, not looking up.</p>
<p>Read the rest of this eye-popping article <strong><a href="http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating" target="_blank">here</a></strong>.<br /><br /><br />Do you have a dating story you'd like to share? Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. <br /><br /> </p>
Staff
2015-08-19T17:58:00Z
Turning Frowns Into Smiles
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Turning-Frowns-Into-Smiles/-707872482962788196.html
2015-08-19T17:57:00Z
2015-08-19T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />This video is making the rounds on the Internet and it's definitely worth viewing. - Lori</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>Jaden Hayes lost both of his parents at a young age. But he is determined to live life with joy. As CBS' Steve Hartman shows, the six-year-old is embarking on a mission to turn frowns into smiles.</em></p>
<p>Do you have an uplifting story or video to share? Sign up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. <br /><br /> <iframe height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/OCPc2RlMTII" frameborder="0" width="560"></iframe></p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-08-19T17:57:00Z
Teenage Daughters and Their Mothers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teenage-Daughters-and-Their-Mothers/784319517137496959.html
2015-08-18T17:58:00Z
2015-08-18T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />My daughter and I were very, very close when she was a small child. I could not have asked for a more loving daughter. <br /><br />When she became a teenager she and I began to butt heads at every turn. She thought that I had changed Ha! It is my belief that the discord arose because she had to become her own person, and in order to do that, she had to separate from me. For several years that meant doing and being the exact opposite of me. If I said, "Up," she said, "Down." It was heartbreaking for me, even though I believed I knew the reason for it. In her college years and early 20s, if I told her honestly what I thought, she accused me of not being supportive. <br /><br />My daughter is now 30 years old and we no longer fight. It was a very slow process. She is now comfortable in her own skin and is very much her own person. She and I disagree on several controversial issues, but we respect and love each other. Our new relationship was worth the wait, but I am glad the growing pains are over! <br /><br />Linda<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you have a story about getting through the teen years with your daughter or son? Sign up for the FREE Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2015-08-18T17:58:00Z
Why Kids Are More Disrespectful
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Kids-Are-More-Disrespectful/988286606366776.html
2015-08-18T17:57:00Z
2015-08-18T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Kids are not taught the basic premise of good manners anymore, because of schools and parents. As to what happened with "please and thank-you", Mom must remind them, but usually never follows up. And unfortunately, Dad takes no part. Kids interrupt in every manner possible. Parents are afraid of their children, afraid they will stunt their little egos. Heaven forbid parents should ever say 'no', 'don't', or 'quiet'. Parents require no respect from their kids, so why would they respect anyone else? The first day of 1st. grade, we were taught to take off our hats, coats, and rubber boots, and put them in the closet; NEVER to wear hats in the house, or at the table! <br /><br />We are creating monsters...and remember, if you create a monster, you must feed it! <br /><br />Keith <br /><br /><br /><br />How did you teach your children manners and to respect others? How were you taught these things? Sign up for the FREE Family and send an email <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2015-08-18T17:57:00Z
What's in It for Him?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Whats-in-It-for-Him/-883926076641699345.html
2015-08-17T17:58:00Z
2015-08-17T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />When I was dating my future husband he surprised me on my birthday, which was a few months into our new relationship. I did not have my driver's license so I walked everywhere including to and from work at a local fast food restaurant. Near my apartment, I got my groceries from a dollar-or-less store so there were limited fresh items. My future husband was soon aware of all this. <br /><br />So for my birthday gift, he filled my fridge and pantry with all kinds of food, fresh meat, produce, dairy and some quick meals. Things I had gone without for so long. That in itself brought me to tears, what a financial relief and an amazing gesture. To top it off, he drove 3 hours to get my best friend for her to help him pick out things to go in the fridge and pantry and to surprise me. He also purchased me a new TV because mine was well on its way out. <br /><br />When I got home from work I was so surprised and thankful, my heart swelled with all kinds of emotions knowing someone cared this much and went so far out of his way just for me. At first, I was scared and nervous someone was doing all this for me only after dating a few months. I had the nagging question of, "What's in it for him?" However time and time again he never ceases to amaze me. He does it just to see the look on my face and take care of me. I will never forget that birthday and all he did just for me. <br /><br />We dated for 4 years, have been married for 4, and I couldn't be happier. <br /><br />Samantha<br /><br /><br /><br /><span>What truly special thing did your husband/boyfriend do that amazed you while you were dating? </span><a id="yui_3_16_0_1_1439836323014_8330" rel="nofollow" href="/askdrlaura" target="_blank">Send your email here</a><span>. </span> </p>
Staff
2015-08-17T17:58:00Z
Create More Family Time
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Create-More-Family-Time/-116074595822228161.html
2015-08-17T17:57:00Z
2015-08-17T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just watched your video "<a href="/f/videos" target="_blank">She Likes Her Curves</a>". I thought your comments were right on. <br /><br />After having two children, I struggled with my weight. My now ex-husband's answer to me getting more exercise was to make me walk alone any time we left the house for at least 40 minutes and then drive his truck with the kids to meet me. When we ate anything, he would constantly criticize and nag about the food I ate until even my 4-year-old was telling me what I should or should not eat. When we drove home, I was dropped off two miles from the house to walk home alone. The end result was not to bond us closer together, it was me feeling demoralized, him drinking and chasing other women, and the end of our marriage. <br /><br />At this point in time, I have been divorced for 8 years, but I am focusing on raising the children alone. Your answer of creating more family time when you all do physical activities as fun was definitely a better idea. <br /><br />Thanks for your positive advice, <br /><br />Lecia<br /><br /><br /><br /><span>Do you have a story about a time when you lost weight? </span><a id="yui_3_16_0_1_1439836323014_8390" rel="nofollow" href="/askdrlaura" target="_blank">Send your email here</a><span>.</span> </p>
Staff
2015-08-17T17:57:00Z
Trusting Myself
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Trusting-Myself/444771850043621989.html
2015-08-14T17:58:00Z
2015-08-14T17:58:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Several months ago, I called you regarding my difficulty in making a decision between 2 jobs. The job I was employed in was extremely stressful, had unpredictable and ungodly hours, but I was making a good amount of money to be able to save up for a future baby. The new job I was offered had potentially more predictable hours so I would be able to spend more time with my husband, but we would take a significant pay cut. I wanted to be able to save enough to be a stay-at-home mom when the time came and was worried if I took the new job, that road would be unattainable.</p>
<p>When I called, you cut me off before I got a chance to explain, and told me to trust that I had weighed each option and would make the right decision. At the time, I was a little peeved, but I chose to take the new job so I could spend more time with my husband and be a better, happier wife.</p>
<p>Fast forward to now. I absolutely love my new job. I am home every night and able to eat dinner WITH my husband instead of eating what he cooked for me at 10pm while he slept. We always spent our weekends together, but now I'm truly able to be present with him. I'm happier, healthier, and have been able to have hobbies again. Because I have been able to be home more, my husband and I realized we liked making furniture together - he builds it and I stain and finish it. We are now looking to supplement our loss in income with a small Etsy shop. And I've been able to work on other ways we can continue to grow our savings so I can stay at home when the time comes. </p>
<p>On another note, I just received a multiple-step raise because I "exceeded expectations" on my recent performance evaluation. I feel more confident and happier at work because I am able to do my job to the best of my ability, and am being recognized for it as well. I just wanted to say how much I appreciate all you do and for reminding me I need to trust in myself. I couldn't be happier.</p>
<p>A Loyal Listener,</p>
<p>Cassandra</p>
<br />
Staff
2015-08-14T17:58:00Z
A Little Child's Perspective on Divorce
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Little-Childs-Perspective-on-Divorce/170349159038993726.html
2015-08-14T17:57:00Z
2015-08-14T17:57:00Z
<br /><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My 4 1/2-year-old daughter was playing at the playground with a little girl she had just met. Not more than 10 minutes went by, when I noticed they were sitting under the play structure talking quietly. After a few minutes, I called my daughter over to check in with her. As I did that, the other little girl's mom took a break from her cell phone conversation to tell the child it was time to leave. When I asked my daughter what were they so intently talking about, she said..."Well, she thinks her parents are getting a divorce. She is looking for a new dad. Her dad gets mad and her mom wants to know why. She really misses her pets because she doesn't get to see them every day." I continued the conversation with my daughter by asking what she thought regarding what the little girl had to say. My forward thinking little one replied, "I told her to call Dr. Laura!" My heart breaks for that little girl. She was so desperate to discuss her anxiety about losing her family that she spilled the beans to someone on the playground she had just met. I hope the adults in her life grab her up, talk to her about this with some true clarity and love, love, love her. <br /><br />That poor little girl....WHAT WERE THEY THINKING! <br /><br />Anne <br />
Staff
2015-08-14T17:57:00Z
My Knight in Shining Armor
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Knight-in-Shining-Armor/-6379894056670022.html
2015-08-13T17:58:00Z
2015-08-13T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />I knew my husband was "the one" a few weeks after our first date. My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and was scheduled for surgery. I returned to my hometown to be with my parents. The morning of Mother's surgery, my new boyfriend surprised me by arriving at the hospital. I knew he had worked until midnight the previous night. He drove an hour to the hospital, spent a few hours with us and drove that hour back to get to work on time. During the surgery he spent time with "the guys" at one end of the hall. <br /><br />During our 33 year marriage, he has shown his love for me in many ways, but the real key to our relationship has been we are always a "team". Life has not always been easy: my mother died 5 months after our wedding, his mother spent the last three years of her life in a long-term care facility with a progressive neurological disorder and my father is suffering from dementia. Through these challenges, we have raised two amazing children and have a wonderful daughter-in-law. My "knight in shining armor" recently reminded me of his love once again when he encouraged me to join my dear friend for her mother's memorial service. During the 3 days I was away, my husband spent many hours with my acutely ill father. <br /><br />"Choose wisely, treat kindly" is the very best advice! <br /><br />Martha</p>
Staff
2015-08-13T17:58:00Z
How We Handle Finances as a Team
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-We-Handle-Finances-as-a-Team/-959861835162396154.html
2015-08-13T17:57:00Z
2015-08-13T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />My husband and I have joint checking accounts, and stock portfolios for retirement. However, we also have SEPARATE savings accounts, for which neither of us is accountable to one another. We've been doing this for about 15 years - been married for 26, and I highly recommend it to those couples who squabble about money. My husband will never be able to make me understand why he wants another tool when he has umpteen thousand in our garage, AND, he will never be able to understand why I want another pair of black patent-leather pumps when I already have seven pair. We often spend our own savings on one another for birthday presents. I surprised him with a pricey watch he'd been admiring, for our 20th wedding anniversary. I had so much pleasure saving for it, and surprising him with it. <br /><br />Priscilla</p>
Staff
2015-08-13T17:57:00Z
Raising Citizens of the World
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-Citizens-of-the-World/-113246786211580347.html
2015-08-12T17:58:00Z
2015-08-12T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Today I am grieving. I have several great sons and was a divorced mom for many of the years I raised them. I gave everything I had in order to "do the right things" for them. I thought I was investing in a family. But today I can see I was wrong. I was actually raising citizens of the world. I didn't realize the day would come when they wouldn't care much to be in my company. I didn't really want to be around my mom either, but I concluded I was going to be different because I studied hard to learn parenting skills that helped me achieve a very happy, successful home and raise good kids. So, I thought they would always want to be around me as a result. Was I shocked when they got married and were swallowed up in their wives' families. I found myself on the outside looking in. This is not how I planned for my family to end up. <br /><br />Thankfully, I learned from your show this is typical for sons. I am busily shattering the old dreams of how I thought my family was supposed to end up and making plan B. My challenge is to be grateful each day they are good men and they love and take care of their wives and families and that needs to be enough as I find other things to do. I never dreamed the day would come the best thing I could do for my children is to mostly stay out of their way. They have no idea the amount of love it takes to do that. So, I silently grieve and accept it because "it's the right thing to do." <br /><br />A.</p>
Staff
2015-08-12T17:58:00Z
Dating Over 50
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dating-Over-50/-459956347217983747.html
2015-08-12T17:57:00Z
2015-08-12T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I heard that caller who worried about dating as an older woman. I am married, but meet widowed and single over 50-90-year-olds several times a week volunteering at our biggest city hospital. There are hundreds of opportunities and they meet widowed men and single men their age all the time! We use volunteers to rock babies, deliver flowers, take messages, discharge people, push the cookie cart (the most beloved job in hospital), etc. Also, I am a docent at a historical house in my home town. I did not even know it existed and now I am a reader for the Underground Railroad Program as well as lead tours in the same pre-Civil War house. And I am 58. My gosh, I cannot even tell you how much the zoo needs people. We have volunteers who visit veterans in the hospital and also provide an honor guard around the deceased until they are transported to a funeral home. We have a program "No one should die alone" where volunteers sit with the dying who have no family. There are so many places she could volunteer to meet other people. She just needs to pick something she's interested in. <br /><br />God bless you and all your hard earned wisdom, <br /><br />Donna</p>
Staff
2015-08-12T17:57:00Z
Needing a Push in the Right Direction
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Needing-a-Push-in-the-Right-Direction/145351512212163332.html
2015-08-11T17:58:00Z
2015-08-11T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I remember listening to you in L.A. when you were on KFI and thinking, boy is this woman tough and out of touch with what's cool. Isn't it funny how perspectives change, people grow up, and suddenly that "square" advice isn't so square anymore? <br /><br />I thought I would share my story, which in spite of doing nearly everything you have advised against, luckily turned out better than I could have ever hoped. <br /><br />I met a young lady 29 years ago with whom I became extremely infatuated in. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew I would marry her. Therefore, I decided to take it slow - lunches only - and if we went out in the evenings we always went in a group. A few months later, I had to travel out of the country and she offered to babysit my humble ranch in the mountains outside of L.A. I accepted thinking the snakes and spiders would frighten her home in a day or two, but she stuck it out and enjoyed that lifestyle as much as I did. That did it - I was hooked. So far so good. <br /><br />Well, then we did what you so often advise against; we became shack ups. We continued to live together before my career directed me to move east to Nashville. Thank goodness my future wife had the sense to say, "I'm not traveling anywhere as your girlfriend." She was right, of course, as males tend to need a push in the right direction from time to time. I proposed. We married in Lake Tahoe and moved east to begin our life adventure. <br /><br />Over 26 happily married years later she is still the love of my life and our marriage has become somewhat of a role model for our friends here. We have 2 rules:</p>
<ol>
<li>Never go to bed angry.</li>
<li>Never say anything you cannot take back.</li>
</ol>
<p>Just wanted to let you know that we both enjoy your blunt, direct and sound advice you give every day on your show. We ARE working at better following it today. Thanks for all you do and make sure you do plenty of sailing to keep calm. <br /><br />Best regards, <br /><br />Bill</p>
Staff
2015-08-11T17:58:00Z
A Woman's Smile
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Womans-Smile/873173475482648983.html
2015-08-11T17:57:00Z
2015-08-11T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I've mentored cadets at an Alaskan military youth academy for a number of years. We conduct mock job interviews to acquaint them with real-world activities. Many are impressive, but one female cadet stood out. <br /><br />The Native Alaskan sat down, introduced herself, and we proceeded with the interview. She was pleasant looking, but had badly-deformed upper front teeth that obviously affected her demeanor. We chatted for a bit, and I later told her that the most beautiful curve on a woman's body was her smile. I said, "My wife and I have been married for over 50 years - she has a smile on her face, in her voice, and in her heart. And any man would die for that. You have a nice smile, but make sure it comes from your heart." And with that statement, she SMILED! Her eyebrows smiled, her cheeks smiled, and her face lit up like someone had turned a light on. Afterward, I realized I may have been the first, and perhaps only, person in her life who told her she had a beautiful smile. <br /><br />Chuck</p>
Staff
2015-08-11T17:57:00Z
Don't Be Afraid to Homeschool
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dont-Be-Afraid-to-Homeschool/669247185548656781.html
2015-08-10T17:58:00Z
2015-08-10T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />I heard a caller from Maine who had questions about homeschooling and almost everything she said ended with, "What if...?" You correctly advised her to forget about questioning herself and setting herself up for failure. <br /><br />My wife and I raised our granddaughter since she was a month old. When she reached junior high school age, she asked to be homeschooled. I researched homeschooling online and found considerable resources, including educational materials for the student, as well as teacher guides. Like the caller, we also live in Maine and a licensed teacher must sign off at the end of each school year showing the homeschooled student has performed satisfactorily. We had a retired teacher friend who gladly met with our granddaughter periodically to talk with her and monitor her progress. It was easy! <br /><br />We homeschooled for grades 6, 7 and 8. My wife is a high school graduate, but was not an honors student. I have a couple of years of college, but was not an honor student, and was working full time back then. My wife did the lion's share of the teaching. We were apprehensive and had concerns about how homeschooling would go. Once we began, we found our fears to be unfounded and we were able to achieve the results that we and our granddaughter hoped for. <br /><br />In Maine, public schools must provide access to sports teams and arts and music programs, even science labs (if memory serves) for homeschooled students. I would hope all states provide that opportunity. <br /><br />When we reached the high school years, we persuaded our granddaughter to enroll in a private school where she continued her education into the start of her senior year when she started to exhibit some signs of needing more help than that school could provide. She began seeing a therapist who was comforting and understanding. We also had an in-school evaluation and a neuro-psych exam performed. Long story short: We ended up meeting the Special Education director of the regional high school who called together the necessary course teachers and told them, "We will make this happen!" The girl graduated high school with honors thanks to the efforts of the special ed. staff. <br /><br />The three years of homeschooling helped play a role in the child's success. It wasn't easy, but it was a rewarding experience. One last thing, there are home study parent groups who meet regularly; sometimes in churches and sometimes in homes. Resources are readily available. Your caller was afraid. Fear of failure can lead to failure. It is my hope anyone wishing to homeschool will search the Internet to seek and find the many resources which are out there. <br /><br />Thank you for all you do, Dr. Laura. You are a treasure! <br /><br />Robert</p>
Staff
2015-08-10T17:58:00Z
Mixing Business with Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mixing-Business-with-Marriage/941083933545848707.html
2015-08-10T17:57:00Z
2015-08-10T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />My husband and I have run a family business since 1990 with 6 sons to add to the mix. Here are three tips for not letting a family business ruin your marriage... <br /><br />One tip is date night. My husband and I have managed to go on a date night pretty much every Friday night for the past 17 years. I am his girlfriend and he is my boyfriend. We spend that Friday night dreaming, discussing and planning usually over a glass of wine or two. <br /><br />Another tip: we try to get a two week vacation together each year. It was harder when the kids were young, usually it was a camping trip back then. <br /><br />And a final tip is: try to have only one leader. Someone has to make the final decisions on things. We always discuss first and then my husband will make the final decision. I trust him and we accept the outcome, good or bad. We have had good times and bad, but each outcome has brought us closer. <br /><br />Barb</p>
Staff
2015-08-10T17:57:00Z
Marrying a Much Older Guy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Marrying-a-Much-Older-Guy/-638636353102189518.html
2015-08-07T17:58:00Z
2015-08-07T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />I am married to a man who is 17.5 years older than me. I was 45 and he was 62 when we married in 1999. Today I am 61 and he is 78. This is a huge difference now. When we were first married, I loved the qualities an older man provided - maturity, financial stability, knowledge, steady job, protection, security, knows how to treat women, has been there and done that so he is not into the games. But he also has habits that are older than I am. <br /><br />We were quite compatible for 8 years, then his health began to decline and so did his libido. He has become depressed, gained weight, wants to stay at home, will not fight to maintain his health and these are causing many challenges for me. So I go places with girlfriends or my family, attend events alone and do a lot without him. I am stay fit and maintain a healthy lifestyle. We have not had sex, cuddled, or made love in 8 years because he is embarrassed. I love him and will not divorce him, but I have plans for my future while he does not. Seventeen years is too much of a difference especially now. <br /><br />Stacy</p>
Staff
2015-08-07T17:58:00Z
Spouses Who Work Together
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Spouses-Who-Work-Together/-678520759919430756.html
2015-08-07T17:57:00Z
2015-08-07T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />My husband and I own a construction business and so we work together daily. One day, I realized we needed to set some boundaries. I was in the kitchen, getting dinner ready, with my hand literally inside a turkey. My husband walked in, unrolled a house plan, laid it across the turkey and said; "Can you take a look at the electrical here?" What!?! We had a talk and set some ground rules. It's been 15 years and it has worked out great. <br /><br />Lori</p>
Staff
2015-08-07T17:57:00Z
A General Observation of Millennials
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-General-Observation-of-Millennials/867369031648808931.html
2015-08-06T17:58:00Z
2015-08-06T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />I have to say I don't like labelling an entire group of society into one lump. With that being said, I am finding it so very frustrating that so many 20-somethings seem to fit into the "Kardashian/only me" mold. Their face is in the cell phone at all times and constantly taking hundreds of "selfies". Why on earth are these young adults so concerned with this lifestyle? I have witnessed it time and again. It truly frightens me to know how they think. "What does my hair look like?" "I can only drive this car and my clothes must be like these..." "Look at her, she's so not with it." I could go on and on. Is it my age showing? I really wish more young adults would tune into you Dr. Laura. Or even better, the parents who raised them with the "you are so beautiful" attitude would listen to your show. I have also witnessed the parents falling into the same behavior and they think it's cute! They know nothing of the real world going on around them and don't seem to care. <br /><br />I know this is a negative statement on youth. I just find it so frustrating that I eliminate my time spent with them. And unfortunately, I have eliminated out of my life almost all of the young people who I watched grow up and genuinely liked. I just have no patience for them as adults. Please tell me this will change as they get older and wiser. Or what I should be doing to change. I was the "average" 20-something in my day, today's young adults seem to be a whole new ballgame. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Patricia</p>
Staff
2015-08-06T17:58:00Z
You CAN Homeschool
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-CAN-Homeschool/-640791321321774833.html
2015-08-06T17:57:00Z
2015-08-06T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I heard a caller worried she wouldn't be able to homeschool her children. I faced the same doubts myself. I researched homeschool options in the Big Book of Homeschooling, and then I thought I would do it one year at a time. If I bombed, my child wouldn't lose that much ground. We began in June so that if we didn't succeed she could go back to school in the fall. We joined a couple of local home school groups, as well as a Homeschool National Legal Defense. We homeschooled for a total of four years and I have to say they were wonderful years. I am probably closer to this child because of the time we spent together. I wasn't great at everything, but she made up for what I lacked when she went to private school in eleventh and twelfth grade. She had three math/science classes at once and did a stellar job. She's now transferring to UCLA as a mechanical engineering student as a junior --didn't suffer much with me! <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Sharon</p>
Staff
2015-08-06T17:57:00Z
The Death of a Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Death-of-a-Family/208220346395742375.html
2015-08-05T17:58:00Z
2015-08-05T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />After I left home, my parents divorced. It was a long time coming as their relationship was almost intolerable because my mother constantly put down my father. Some comments were deserved, but they never should have been done in front of us 3 kids or in the manner she chose. I believe that hurt my self-image as a man and later as a husband because I gave too much relationship power to my wife. <br /><br />After the divorce, my older brother was caught in the middle with a much younger sister which he assumed a lot of responsibility for both financially and emotionally. <br /><br />I was lucky. I only had to deal with my mother's forever unceasing criticism of my dad, even after he died. She constantly wanted me to take sides as if that mattered anymore. Holidays were the usual problem of who do we visit and I dare never to mention my dad. Sometimes she would bait me and ask how he was, then get upset that I had knowledge. <br /><br />One of the saddest things I find about divorce is that it is literally the death of a family and all that a family means, including memories never to be shared again, obliterated by the divorce. <br /><br />Michael</p>
Staff
2015-08-05T17:58:00Z
Finding a Treasured Book
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finding-a-Treasured-Book/840884852061824581.html
2015-08-05T17:57:00Z
2015-08-05T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been a faithful listener of your program for countless of years. I also was blessed to have four children and stayed at home where a mother belongs. I was able to be a professional wallpaper hanger by working around my husband's schedule when the kids were older so they were never alone with complete strangers. When mothers say they can't stay home because they need to work, that is a crime. We treat our pets better than our children. <br /><br />Now that two of my kids are married with children of their own, I am proud they work from home only when the babies are napping. I am never pressured, as some of my friends are, to be a replacement for Mommy and Daddy. Only a true parent can do that. I absolutely adore my time with the babies when I get to touch, kiss, love, and teach them how much they were wanted. <br /><br />I have also bought your book "In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms" for my daughter and daughter-in-law. I continue to purchase more and give them out as baby shower gifts. Recently, I was at a store looking for a few cute children's books and the below "beauty" popped up. I immediately bought this treasure and asked the cashier, "Do you realize how incredible this book is?" Her response was why? I explained how it is life changing for parents. She was very interested, so I bought it and immediately gave it back to her and said, "This is a gift from Dr. Laura." Her face lit up as if she just won the lottery. <br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, for reminding me every day to choose wisely and treat kindly. After 38 years, I am still my kids' "mom" and my husband's "girlfriend". <br /><br />Nanci<br /><br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/letter_080515.jpg" alt="" /> </p>
Staff
2015-08-05T17:57:00Z
The Burden of Divorce on Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Burden-of-Divorce-on-Children/998134983234229944.html
2015-08-04T17:58:00Z
2015-08-04T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura - <br /><br />I am 51 years old, married for 28 years, first marriage for both of us; no children, we tried, but it didn't happen. Today I am a very happy and content individual; however, this was not always the case... <br /><br />I am a child of divorce - very ugly and torturous for all involved. The divorce process lasted 6 years; I was 8 when all was finalized. My parents were married for 14 years, 6 of which were lived on the front line in the battlefield. This was the first marriage for my mother and the third for my father. I am the youngest of all the kids. My mother came from a very poor family; my father was privileged all his life. <br /><br />When I was 13, our father asked my brothers and me if we wanted to live with our mother or him and his 4th wife (20 years his junior and former beauty queen). Mother was very difficult to live with so we all chose our father. I didn't know it then, but this decision was one I would pay for the rest of my mother's life! <br /><br />So we kids moved in to a brand new home. Everything new: neighborhood, school, friends, mother, life! For me personally, I was so young when my father moved out that seeing him every night when he came home from work was a joy! His wife spoiled me rotten to the core. I loved it!!! I felt I was made whole again. <br /><br />Less than 2 years into my new life, bad news hit hard: Father had inoperable pancreatic cancer. He died just 4 months after the initial diagnosis. My father had sole custody of us kids. Battle #2 began between my mother and step-mother. My minor brothers and I became wards of the state. My step-mother wanted to get on with her life and my mother wanted the house and custody so she could be awarded the monthly SS checks. Life as I knew it was OVER. I was now on my own and carried many burdens with me. It became a game of survival. <br /><br />Today, I attribute my well-balanced mental stability to making good life decisions, staying focused on doing the right thing, choosing a wonderful, WONDERFUL husband who gave me a happy home and tons of love and support, and to depending on myself for my own happiness. One of my brothers did not survive - he is homeless. My other brother is not quite a loss cause, but real close. And my oldest brother is a well-educated man, but is now on his third marriage, no children. In 2012, I learned my mother had stage 3B lung cancer. I had not talked with her in 10 years - her choice. She died a very hateful and bitter woman. If you think divorce will not affect your children AND everyone involved, think again!!! <br /><br />Lorrie<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-08-04T17:58:00Z
A Young Listener...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Young-Listener.../37984065372802269.html
2015-08-04T17:57:00Z
2015-08-04T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />We've been listeners for a long time. About 13 years ago, one of our twins drew this picture. I just ran across it about had to share it with you. Our children are now 26, 25, 18 & 18. Our children have grown up listening to you and we've discussed situations hoping they learn how to help themselves as well as friends. We are also self-employed and with our employees being young, we try to guide them when possible. My husband has been through a rough childhood, but has moved on. He is the best husband and father I know. We aren't perfect, but try to live life the best to our ability. <br /><br />Thank you again for your broadcast. We love being a part of the Dr. Laura Family Free. <br /><br />Much love, <br /><br />Lori<br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/letter_080415.jpg" alt="" /> </p>
Staff
2015-08-04T17:57:00Z
Grieving the Loss of a Loved One
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Grieving-the-Loss-of-a-Loved-One/181757882422091850.html
2015-08-03T17:58:00Z
2015-08-03T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />First, I want to thank you for all you do. When I'm listening to you I feel like I'm getting a bit of wisdom from my mom as well. <br /><br />Both of my parents are gone and I miss them every day. My dad had surgery and passed away six weeks later. We lost our mom about 18 months after our dad's death. When Dad came home from the hospital we all took turns helping our mom take care of him. It was difficult, but we eventually found our way. When Mom was diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia and the treatments didn't work, we were faced with the same situation as our father. My two sisters, our sister-in-law, and I took care of Mom in her home with the help of hospice for 10 months. In that time, we watched her slowly fade away. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but I would do it again for her in a minute. <br /><br />The night our mom passed away, we knew she had been in the "active dying" stage and were keeping a close eye on her. We had a big puzzle we were all working on together and we would go from the puzzle to her bedside. My Old English sheepdog, Quincy, was right by her bed when she died and all of us were gathered to witness her last breath. One reason it was so hard to lose our mom was because she was such a great mom. She was a stay-at-home mom with six kids and Dad to care for. She cooked every night of the week; she was a good cook too. I remember dinners being loud and milk always being spilled. I miss those dinners. <br /><br />My father started his own business in 1967 with my mom answering the business line that was in our home. She also helped him get the billing and taught herself bookkeeping. My brother and I still own the business today, and his two adult kids work for us. I still don't know where my parents found the energy, but they gave everything to us because they wanted us to have a better life than they had. We do have a better life because of them. <br /><br />I grieved for a very long time. As the years passed by I realized my parents would not want me to grieve for so long. They wanted us kids to be happy. I had to make an effort to be happy, to move forward and to embrace a world without them in it. It's still hard sometimes but the pain in my heart is better and I actually look forward to each day. <br /><br />Maureen</p>
Staff
2015-08-03T17:58:00Z
We Started Out as Friends
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Started-Out-as-Friends/-521463239673464299.html
2015-08-03T17:57:00Z
2015-08-03T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I knew, my husband was the one for me for many reasons. You see, we met at work, and started out as friends, going for coffee, drinks, movies, hikes. As the months went by and we spent more and more time together, our friendship went to being engaged and then married. <br /><br />I love everything about my guy. He treats me like a true lady. His compassion for life and everything he does all comes from his heart. If I had to pick one thing I like the best, it would be that we can take holidays or build a garage together, without getting stressed at one another. We keep each other grounded, and have lots of fun at the same time. It's been 15 years now, and I/WE are still very much in love: WE are each other's girlfriend/boyfriend, loving each moment we have. <br /><br />Janice</p>
Staff
2015-08-03T17:57:00Z
Marrying an Older Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Marrying-an-Older-Man/834996450603418167.html
2015-07-31T17:58:00Z
2015-07-31T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />I married my husband when I was 46, he is 3 years younger. He is my first and only husband. I had many dating years before I finally settled down. I almost exclusively dated men much older than me, 15-20-25 years older. The initial attraction is sophistication, power, accomplishments and the fact that you feel protected. <br /><br />If you decide to marry an older man, my advice would be to consider the following, before deciding on marriage. </p>
<ul>
<li>If you have a great career, you may not want to retire at the same time he does.</li>
<br />
<li>Most of his friends will be much older.</li>
<br />
<li>His children may be close to your age and will have their eye on their inheritance. </li>
<br />
<li>He may become ill and disabled and guess what, you become an instant nurse. </li>
<br />
<li>Forget having children, he probably has some. </li>
</ul>
<p><br />There are lots of things to think about, so proceed with caution. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Diana </p>
Staff
2015-07-31T17:58:00Z
My Ahh-Ha Moment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Ahh-Ha-Moment/-974111257807023036.html
2015-07-31T17:57:00Z
2015-07-31T17:57:00Z
<p><br />My ahh-ha moment was after my first granddaughter was born. I realized at age 63, I can't change the whole world. However, I can make a difference in my immediate world, starting with my granddaughter. The simple act of teaching her how to hold a spoon to feed herself or work a bell by showing her how to ring it makes a difference in her life and thus mine. <br /><br />I cannot change the behavior of anyone except me and that is why I vow to do my best to make the world closest to me a better place to live by what I contribute to it.<br /><br />Susan</p>
Staff
2015-07-31T17:57:00Z
Life's Lessons
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lifes-Lessons/-116729854729199645.html
2015-07-30T17:58:00Z
2015-07-30T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Thank you for doing what you do. I've always tried to look in the mirror and own who I am good and bad. I've always tried to tell and teach my kids about personal responsibility and to pass-on the wisdom that I've gained in my own life to them. <br /><br />It's been frustrating to me at times that my words seem to be ignored by my kids. I always chalked it up to the fact that they are teenagers. Recently, it dawned on me that perhaps it is not my words or wisdom that they are blowing-off... but my DELIVERY! <br /><br />I'm now conscious of that and am trying to alter their perception of where my words are coming from. Are they coming from anger? Frustration? Or LOVE? They're not going to like all of the bitter pills of life that I inform them of, no matter how they're delivered. But at least I am aware that I am not always perceived accurately and that I need to be sure that I'm doing what I can to make sure that the message that I'm TRYING to communicate, is being received. Like everything else in life, this lesson will of course be a daily struggle that needs to be fine-tuned and remembered constantly. <br /><br />Life is a journey, right? <br /><br />John</p>
Staff
2015-07-30T17:58:00Z
I Am My Husband's Girlfriend
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Am-My-Husbands-Girlfriend/989218215373617224.html
2015-07-30T17:57:00Z
2015-07-30T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am fairly new to listening to your program. One of my favorite parts of your show is the sweet emails you read from your listeners. The most valuable thing I have learned from you is treating my marriage as being my husband's girlfriend. I have been married to my husband for 16 years. We were high school sweethearts. Like most married couples with children, I let raising the kids become the most important thing. Sometimes this left my husband at the bottom of my list. <br /><br />Last night we attended a rock concert of a band I have never listened to. I got the tickets for my husband because it is his favorite band. I had the best time! It was great seeing how happy he was singing, dancing, kissing and hugging me! It really truly feels good to do something for your partner that makes THEM happy! Had the concert been for a band I was interested in, I don't think I would have enjoyed it as much. <br /><br />Thanks for everything you do. I have learned a lot in the short time I have listened to your program. <br /><br />My husband's girlfriend,<br /><br />Julie</p>
Staff
2015-07-30T17:57:00Z
Dating Older Men
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dating-Older-Men/457320658632211795.html
2015-07-29T17:58:00Z
2015-07-29T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Yes, I have dated and married two men that were 20 years older than me. There are pros and cons with both. <br /><br /><strong>Pros </strong></p>
<ul>
<li>You have a person that has experienced life and is possibly more worldly. </li>
<br />
<li>They can deal with issues a little more calmly than someone younger. </li>
</ul>
<p><br /><strong>Cons</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>I never knew that I really was missing being with someone closer to my age until I ended my 12 year relationship with an older man. </li>
<br />
<li>I did not realize until I started dating someone close to my age that I really enjoy having more things in common such as music, laughing about high school and just really too many things to list. </li>
</ul>
<p><br />I realize this more everyday. I don't regret my time with older men but if I was giving advice to someone younger I would say stay within 5 years of your age. I'm 55 now. As you age you will come to realize its much more fun to grow old with someone close to your age!<br /><br />Lori</p>
Staff
2015-07-29T17:58:00Z
My Greatest Realization
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Greatest-Realization/-91501288644587444.html
2015-07-29T17:57:00Z
2015-07-29T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />My greatest realization hit me the other day. Dr. Laura was talking to a caller about the caller's mother. The caller had a bad childhood. What Dr. Laura asked the caller turned on a big universal light for me. <br /><br />The caller said she felt she was never good enough in her mother's eyes. Here is what Dr. Laura said to the caller and to me, "Is that a measure of you or your mother? You should pity your mother. " I have always measured myself by what my mother thought about me. And now, I have stopped measuring myself with my mother's negative words. <br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Janice <br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-07-29T17:57:00Z
School Options for Severely Disabled Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/School-Options-for-Severely-Disabled-Children/-317566455162766163.html
2015-07-28T17:58:00Z
2015-07-28T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />I am listening to my podcast from July 17 and wanted to give some input to the mom who called about her 3-year-old daughter with Cerebral Palsy. I am a special education teacher and her child is eligible to attend public school from age 3-21 under the Federal mandate PL 94-142 and IDEA. She would be under the care of highly trained and caring teachers. The mom may want to research what her local county Educational Service Department (ESD) and/or public school can offer her now or the near future. <br /><br />I've been a loyal listener for 17 years, and a stay-at-home mom while my kids were young, and part-time worker when they went to school. I went back to teaching 1/2 time after a 16 year hiatus to raise my girls. Thank you for all you do! <br /><br />Julie</p>
Staff
2015-07-28T17:58:00Z
Divorce
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Divorce/234867282209427676.html
2015-07-28T17:57:00Z
2015-07-28T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My parents divorced around the time I was in seventh grade. I don't remember an actual date because my dad traveled a lot. I have four siblings, and honestly we were glad that they divorced. My parents fought a lot. They were very unpleasant: lots of screaming, smashed plates, etc. This also caused a lot of fighting between us children as we tried to decide what side we were on. <br /><br />As I've reflected on this I believe that my mother was the main cause of their crummy marriage. She was, and still is, a bit of a man hater. I think their divorce was devastating to my dad, and they did remarry not long after the divorce. Everyone but the youngest child was disappointed that they decided to remarry. The fighting continued. My mom also commented to me once that she was "better off" when they were divorced. If a couple can't keep it together and treat kindly perhaps divorce is the best option. At least when my parents were divorced we were able to do a lot of fun things with our dad. When they were together my mother always tried to stifle these types of outings. <br /><br />I discovered you not long after my husband and I married and I believe it kept me from becoming like my mother. I married a great man, we have four children, and we'll be celebrating our tenth anniversary soon. Keep up the good fight Dr. Laura! <br /><br />Candiss</p>
Staff
2015-07-28T17:57:00Z
Grieving
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Grieving/995260812920251207.html
2015-07-27T17:58:00Z
2015-07-27T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />I've been podcast listening for three years now, it's a great addition to my retirement activities. I listen to at least one hour at bedtime and fit the other two hours in as I can. <br /><br />I always say going to church makes you accountable to God, your pastor, church friends, kids that you work with there. You are not just letting yourself down. It helps keep you accountable. <br /><br />Sometimes you have calls about grief. There is a 13 week program in lots of churches sponsored from organization called Griefshare at <a href="http://www.griefshare.org/" target="_blank">griefshare.org</a>. I attended after the death of my brother, and helped out afterward. During that time, my dad died too. You have helped me a lot as well because my parents were alcoholics. I have seen people come to these programs who could not even talk without crying change to laughing and hugging others the end. Many come back to encourage new folks and pick up what they may have missed. Just wanted to let you know it was available in case you did not know. <br /><br />Thanks for being our nation's Jiminy Cricket. <br /><br />Skip</p>
Staff
2015-07-27T17:58:00Z
Marriage Vows
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Marriage-Vows/-849150774727950018.html
2015-07-27T17:57:00Z
2015-07-27T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi! <br /><br />These people who are married and thinking about divorcing should think about their marriage vows and decisions they have made. Don't always look at the bad qualities of the other person, we all have bad qualities. It's like when you point a finger at someone, but three fingers are pointing back at you too. Marriage is not easy, but one can make it easy by remembering the decisions we have made to understand where we are at any time. Marriage vows are to remind US all about our commitment to each other and not about the ROCK, the DRESS, and, the PARTY. Maybe if people would think about what is actually happening when they are getting married and not so much on the "WEDDING" they would think twice. <br /><br />Thank you for all that you do, especially me, a recovering feminist. You are my daily rehab. <br /><br />Lots of love, <br /><br />Juju </p>
Staff
2015-07-27T17:57:00Z
I Am an Alcoholic
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Am-an-Alcoholic/225188774482623115.html
2015-07-24T17:58:00Z
2015-07-24T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Hello from Texas! Your books and wisdom over the years have really been very helpful to me personally. <br /><br />In the last month or so, you had a caller that was an alcoholic. The call was very powerful to me. You were very clear about going to AA. You reached me that day, Dr. Laura. I had been drinking heavily for about 2 years. That evening, I found an AA meeting and go every day now. Along with the Twelve Steps, listening to you AND going to counseling, I take one day at a time. <br /><br />God bless you. And again, thank you. You helped me save my life. <br /><br />Very Truly, <br /><br />A.</p>
Staff
2015-07-24T17:58:00Z
Adult Males Who Never Left Boyhood
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Adult-Males-Who-Never-Left-Boyhood/-11952087414391678.html
2015-07-24T17:57:00Z
2015-07-24T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura.... <br /><br />This article: <a href="http://thefederalist.com/2015/07/09/the-revenge-of-the-lost-boys/" target="_blank">The Revenge of the Lost Boys</a> by Tom Nichols is worth a read. Mr. Nichols is a professor of national security affairs at the U.S. Naval War College and an adjunct professor in the Harvard Extension School. These are his views regarding a growing trend of destructive behavior among young white males, and society's role. <br /><br />a. Deep Frustrations about Sex and Identity<br />b. The Narcissistic Revenge of Angry Losers<br />c. Portrait of a Misfit as a Young Man<br />d. Inability to Handle Real Difficulty<br />e. A Failure to Mature Out of Social Confusion<br />f. Why Modern Society Creates Destructive Outcasts <br /><br />Your fan, <br /><br />Jackie</p>
Staff
2015-07-24T17:57:00Z
Non-Ambulatory Cerebral Palsy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Non-Ambulatory-Cerebral-Palsy/202056867002193810.html
2015-07-23T17:58:00Z
2015-07-23T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Schlessinger, <br /><br />I am a 61-year-old pediatrician and have been listening to you since the late 1980s. <br /><br />My heart was in my mouth today during your call with the 39-year-old engineer whose 3-year-old daughter was severely disabled: blind, G-tube fed with non-ambulatory cerebral palsy. I have looked after countless families in this position. It's often difficult to diagnose the exact cause of cerebral palsy - unless there is an obvious cause such as a disastrous birth or extreme prematurity. Many cases are thought to originate from chronic unpreventable and undetectable placental insufficiency. From her mother's description, I would guess it's unlikely the child will progress much further. Parents and I, while following a child after a difficult birth with potential brain damage, hold our breaths until age 1 - 2 years of age. Every new milestone is a miracle, but they do tend to occur within that time frame. <br /><br />Listening to you over the decades has improved my own life immeasurably - especially my marriage of 36 years to my wonderful husband! And I quote you often in my pediatric office. I remain one of your greatest fans. <br /><br />With warmest regards and best wishes, <br /><br />Dr. Jane</p>
Staff
2015-07-23T17:58:00Z
Finished Reading Bad Childhood, Good Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finished-Reading-Bad-Childhood,-Good-Life/-182241368521419825.html
2015-07-23T17:57:00Z
2015-07-23T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just wanted to thank you for writing "Bad Childhood, Good Life". I probably will reread it again to highlight all I must do to continue to be a Conqueror!!! Thank you for the stories in the postscript, that was really personal and I'm sure that helped so many people! I have been listening to you for over 20 years and you have been such a fine example to me! I love how you have MANY interests, your art, your exercise, and sailing and how you love your husband, son, and daughter-in-law. Oh and your wonderful dog training skills. I cannot name everything! I see you as a sensitive, warm, funny and kind person. Thank you for helping all of us!! And I REALLY hope you get out there and become, a least for a night, a backup dancer/singer for Tina Turner. <br /><br />I want to have as much FUN as YOU! <br /><br />Blessings and much love, <br /><br />Susie</p>
Staff
2015-07-23T17:57:00Z
Sex Before Marriage With a Non-Spouse
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sex-Before-Marriage-With-a-Non-Spouse/-749121180008900405.html
2015-07-22T17:58:00Z
2015-07-22T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi, Dr. Laura, <br /><br />You asked, "What are some common ways spouses break their vows without even realizing it?" I think one way a spouse breaks his or her vow of fidelity, perhaps without realizing it, is by having sex with a non-spouse before getting married--even before meeting his or her future spouse. No one said you should be faithful to your spouse only after you get married, and you can be as promiscuous as you want before you get married. You're supposed to be faithful to your spouse, period. In my opinion, that means being faithful to your spouse at all times, not just part of the time. The effects of having premarital sexual contact with a non-spouse do not magically disappear after you get married. Sexual contact produces an intimacy and union whether or not you are married. If you are unmarried and share sexual contact with another person, that intimacy and union does not disappear when you later marry another person. Instead, it just becomes "baggage" that you must carry around with you for the rest of your life, and, unfortunately, into your marriage itself. In my experience, that's the kind of totally unnecessary baggage that's difficult to carry and that can end up really hurting a spouse. <br /><br />Thanks for your consistent "voice of reason," Dr. Laura. I think you're a national treasure! <br /><br />Mer <br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-07-22T17:58:00Z
He Made Me Better
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Made-Me-Better/-437261325866800971.html
2015-07-22T17:57:00Z
2015-07-22T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />I met my husband while I was serving in the Peace Corps in West Africa. What most attracted me to him was how genuinely kind he was to everyone. He has a way of making people around him feel important! I watched how he treated and respected his parents and those who were older. He carried himself with confidence and is ALWAYS ready with a smile. He will literally take the shirt off his back if you need one. <br /><br />When I was getting ready to finish my service, I knew I had to make a decision, leave this most wonderful man I'd ever met behind as he was a native of the country I was serving in and most likely never see him again, or place him permanently in my life. I knew the first option was not EVEN an option. <br /><br />Dr. Laura, I knew I wanted him to be in my life because he helped me be better. We have been happily married now for almost 8 years with 2 kind-hearted boys. Thank you for reminding me every day to live my life with him so that he will be happy to come home every day to me and happy he married me! <br /><br />Your faithful listener and my children's mom and husband's girlfriend, <br /><br />Alyson</p>
Staff
2015-07-22T17:57:00Z
Why I Am Still Single
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-I-Am-Still-Single/542550707024987554.html
2015-07-21T17:58:00Z
2015-07-21T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />I have been single for 20 years after leaving a difficult marriage of 29 years. I stayed in the marriage until my children were raised, through college, and dating the people they eventually married. I did not choose wisely and it took a while to work through that as I found early on I kept meeting the same self-centered personality. <br /><br />It was easy to meet men to date as I am outgoing and reasonably attractive, but I found by giving them what they wanted - a sex partner - that any potential growth in the friendship came to a halt and from then on, it was just physical. So I set the standard there would be no sex until marriage. When the guy moved on, I knew I did the RIGHT THING! <br /><br />For a year, I have been dating a man who said he wasn't sure he wanted to remarry after his wife died, but he is still seeing me, knowing I am holding true to my word. He brought me a dozen roses for Valentine's Day. He gave me more flowers for my birthday and told me he is falling in love with me. He will bury his deceased wife's ashes in two weeks. He says he is changing his mind about marriage and that maybe it could be a good idea. I am not in a hurry, giving him plenty of time to think about it and sending him home when cuddling gets too heated. He is kind, generous, helpful, a good conversationalist. We love working together on our various projects. He's building an airplane; I upholstered the seats. I needed help hauling my huge Nativity Collection to a church to be showcased at Christmas and he was the "grunt" man for the entire project, with not one complaint! <br /><br />I feel sorry for people who feel the road to love is below the waist when the true path is between the brain and the heart coupled with a bunch of common sense and old fashioned moral values. Oh, by the way I just turned 74 and he is 78, but sometimes we act like teenagers.<br /><br />Lelia</p>
Staff
2015-07-21T17:58:00Z
The Importance of Advice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-of-Advice/789198378980521879.html
2015-07-21T17:57:00Z
2015-07-21T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I'm listening to a podcast and just heard the gentleman who wrote a previous email of the day thanking you for making him the husband he is. You cried very happy tears. <br /><br />I was touched by this and wanted to share with you that it's true -- you do reach many of us listeners even when you have days thinking you are not. I have had many "ah-ha" moments in listening to your show. Even one during a call to you regarding my mother-in-law where you agreed her behavior was bad, but the problem was with my husband. You and Efim were kind enough to send me an MP3 of the recording to play for my husband which I did! Because of you, I have matured and learned to become more direct without being nasty, and learned to think with logic and not my emotions. Because of these things I have a much stronger marriage. I will not lie, calling you was extremely scary for me and I was terribly nervous. I put my big girl panties on, called, and am very thankful I did. My only regret is that I did not learn of you sooner in my life. <br /><br />So again, thanks for all you do - keep it up - your logic IS reaching many listeners. <br /><br />Raquel</p>
Staff
2015-07-21T17:57:00Z
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/R-E-S-P-E-C-T/-853567693580005692.html
2015-07-20T17:58:00Z
2015-07-20T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />I recently retired at 60 years old so I could spend more time with my grandchildren. I had so many memories of spending time with my parents and I wanted to pass that on. <br /><br />I heard a call from a lady whose son had found a key to her jewelry box to get access to his phone. The bigger question to me is..."Why did his parent need to lock it up?" When my parents took things away from me, they didn't need to lock them up. They just told me I couldn't use them, and they had raised me to respect them, so I didn't even consider going against their wishes. I don't ever remember being spanked or physically punished. But they were such great role models, respected each of their four children and taught us mutual respect. And I didn't grow up to be a wuss. I was a financial executive at some very large companies. It's amazing to me that parents today need to lock things up rather than to have earned the respect of their children. <br /><br />I love your show. I agree with so many things you say...and you've also taught me a lot. <br /><br />Brad</p>
Staff
2015-07-20T17:58:00Z
Mom Holds Son Accountable
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mom-Holds-Son-Accountable/-413166261200184563.html
2015-07-20T17:57:00Z
2015-07-20T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />I saw <a href="http://www.ksl.com/?sid=35491809&nid=148&fm=most_popular&s_cid=popular-1" target="_blank">this news story</a> from my home state, and thought you would applaud this mother for her integrity, and for teaching her son a valuable lesson. She dragged his butt into the police station for breaking into a high school with his friend. She dragged the friend in too! <br /><br />Go Mom!!! I applaud her. <br /><br />Kristin</p>
Staff
2015-07-20T17:57:00Z
End of Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/End-of-Life/211096707616904485.html
2015-07-17T17:58:00Z
2015-07-17T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am a hospice nurse. A few days ago, while leaving a patient's home, I got in my car and heard you talking about end-of-life and how people know when they are dying. This is a subject I deal with so often with terminal patients and their families. I can't count the times I have been told by a patient's wife and/or children, "Don't say the word 'd-i-e' in front of my Dad", or "Please don't say you're from hospice. We just told her the Doctor sent you" or "We aren't using the "D" or "H" word." This can be exasperating since I hear it time after time. I try to keep in mind that these actions of not using, what I call "grown-up words" comes from a place of fear and denial in the heart and mind of that person. I gently try to tell them that, to date in the history of the world, no one has ever died from a word being said and that their loved one knows they are dying. I ask them to remember the last time they had a cold or flu. I then ask, "Do you remember thinking, "Oh no, I think I'm getting sick."? They always answer yes. I suggest to them, "So, if we know that we are getting sick from something as benign as a cold, we certainly know when we are dying." <br /><br />What we have is everyone protecting each other from a "word". The patient is protecting their loved ones and the loved ones are protecting the patient...In reality, they are protecting their loved one and themselves. They aren't protecting their loved one from this word, but from the truth, the truth that no one wants to face. The tragic result of doing this is the truth will always win out. They can go on forever without saying the word "dying", "death" or "hospice" and the patient will die anyway. And sadly, the patient will die without anyone being able to say the things that they should, like "You've been the best mom/dad/husband/wife I could have ever asked for" or "You have made such a difference in my life" or just simply, "I love you and I'll miss you." Is this sad? Absolutely. It is devastating to lose those we love, but deathwill still come. The last thing to consider is, that not telling the truth is lying. Yes, I know, we are "protecting" them. But "protecting" is the motive for lying, not a justification. Lying is still lying and it seems to me that it is disrespectful to lie to someone whose life is coming to a close, whether it be my patient or my loved one. As a hospice nurse, I can't heal my patients' bodies, but I can try and help to ease the pain of their and their family's hearts just a tiny bit. <br /><br /><br />Thanks for listening. <br /><br />Sue</p>
Staff
2015-07-17T17:58:00Z
Getting His Mom to Like You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Getting-His-Mom-to-Like-You/641378882434071433.html
2015-07-17T17:57:00Z
2015-07-17T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My mother-in-law and I have a wonderful relationship. We built it over many years and continue to do so. I believe it takes two to make it work in any relationship and this one is certainly no exception. My MIL and I both: <br /><br /></p>
<ol>
<li>Try to understand and accept each other, especially where our differences lie </li>
<br />
<li>Always remember we both ADORE the man who brought us together </li>
<br />
<li>Never complain to each other about that man who brought us together </li>
<br />
<li>Look for common ground, like the other people we both love my children / her grandchildren, my father-in-law / her husband, my in-laws / her siblings and other children, and their kids, etc. </li>
<br />
<li>Take the time to check in with each other once in awhile and ask about the other's well-being, latest pursuits, etc.--in other words, make a concerted effort to maintain the wonderfulness.</li>
</ol>
<p><br />But I don't believe it would work if we were not BOTH engaged in these efforts... <br /><br />Best wishes, <br /><br />Pam</p>
Staff
2015-07-17T17:57:00Z
A Father's Expectations
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Fathers-Expectations/492088410381095627.html
2015-07-16T17:58:00Z
2015-07-16T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />I chose to homeschool my youngest and then added my oldest too. My expectation for them is to be the best at what they choose. My youngest completed school and entered the university at 10 years old. He is 16 and preparing his graduate school applications now. <br /><br />My wife is an eternal pessimist, her expectations were low and affected our youngest. She realized she was wrong in her thinking, but it did have a negative effect. Unfortunately, this is something she has always done. I think that if we live vicariously through our children, problems will arrive and all too often those problems will be negative. <br /><br />As my youngest entered the university, I chaperoned him on campus and remained there as an emotional anchor. As he matured, I withdrew myself from his decision making and meetings with his professors. I thought he had the maturity to handle it, and he did. Being an emotional anchor was an important job. It remains an important job. Until my final breath, I will be my sons' father, dad, and anchor. They are both my legacies. Both have a path before them and I actively encourage them with their endeavors. They will come and seek my counsel without prodding. When something is beyond my understanding, I will help them find the right answers. I will be gone from their lives one day and I am happy that they have chosen to do what they want to do. I will remain ready and always available to do what I can for them.<br /><br />Wesley</p>
Staff
2015-07-16T17:58:00Z
Beautiful Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Beautiful-Children/392793275830725325.html
2015-07-16T17:57:00Z
2015-07-16T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Thank you, Thank you, and Thank you!!! I too am so sick of hearing everyone say, "... my 3 beautiful children". Oh please. For some reason it drives me crazy. I was so happy to hear you tell the woman you didn't like to hear it either. <br /><br />I have 4 grown children and I don't believe I have EVER told anyone I have"4 beautiful children". I have 4 children who happen to be smart, kind,conscientious, but I don't need to <em>advertise</em> it. <br /><br />Thanks again. Maybe you need to tell everyone, no more beautiful children or you'll hang up on them. Just a thought. Thanks again for what you do. I've been a listener since late night in Los Angeles, many moons ago. <br /><br />Denise</p>
Staff
2015-07-16T17:57:00Z
What I Did as a Kid Instead of Electronics
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-I-Did-as-a-Kid-Instead-of-Electronics/-819941486551860175.html
2015-07-15T17:58:00Z
2015-07-15T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Well, all I can say is that I'm sooooo glad we didn't have cell phones back then and I'm only 42. I grew up riding my bike, pretending it was a horse named Domino. I played on swing sets, roller skated in the neighborhood, pretended to "play school" with my stuffed animals, shot baskets for hours on end, played with the hose in the backyard, played badminton, hit tennis balls and went swimming. Oh yeah, and I studied....microfiche, encyclopedias, and old-fashioned research at the library. Life before Google! <br /><br />I hate electronics. I have a 14-year-old daughter. She is currently grounded from all electronics because of her grades. She is more pleasant to bearound when she doesn't have them and I tell her that. My mother, of all people, is pressuring me to get her a phone. I survived without one and she can too. She has no need for one in my opinion. I am a nurse and have to catch a bus to get from the parking lot to the hospital. Each morning and evening, almost every single person on the bus is on their cell phone. Literally...no talking, laughing, communicating with each other. It's sad. <br /><br />Thank you for all you do... <br /><br />Anne</p>
Staff
2015-07-15T17:58:00Z
Inspiring 77-Year-Old Body Builder: Amazing Woman Inside & Out
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Inspiring-77-Year-Old-Body-Builder:-Amazing-Woman-Inside--Out/-370434868804400817.html
2015-07-15T17:57:00Z
2015-07-15T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr Laura, <br /><br />I saw this inspiring video and it made me think of you! I think you will love Earnestine's story and message. I'm confident it will inspire your listeners as well. <br /><br /><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=na6yl8yIZUI" target="_blank">The Remarkable Story of Ernestine Shepherd</a> <br />Do healthy, ripped bodies only belong to the young? Not if you're Ernestine Shepherd. At 77, she's the world's oldest female bodybuilder. <br /><br />Cheers, <br /><br />Jennifer</p>
Staff
2015-07-15T17:57:00Z
Because Everyone Needs to Hear They're Appreciated...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Because-Everyone-Needs-to-Hear-Theyre-Appreciated.../-834448946986190186.html
2015-07-14T17:58:00Z
2015-07-14T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Those that don't truly listen may find you on the surface as tough and unsympathetic, but I find that to be a falsehood. I am so incredibly touched when you share personal moments with us in order to help. For instance, you shared a very private moment with us about your father in one of his last lucid moments. You asked him if he loved you and he answered with an "of course I love you". You then walked around in the backyard pondering on those scarcely heard words, wondering why you weren't feeling the emotions you'd expected from them, ALL to help a caller with her despair from her troubled relationship with her father. Or the time you spoke of your intense panic attacks after your husband had his heart attack to help a caller deal with her immense stress after her husband's heart attack. Then you told her about "Shirley" pacemaker, making the caller smile and giving her hope. Or in order to help a caller, the time you spoke about defending your mother being called a "dirty immigrant" and how you didn't get the reaction from your mother that any child would've wanted. There are countless moments of your deep pain that you bless us with the knowledge in order to assist us in our own growth, healing and acceptance. It is a priceless gift. <br /><br />Then despite your strained childhood, you still find moments of goodness about your parents you've shared, such as your mother's hidden savings to buy a patio or your father giving you a dime and telling you to call him if your date didn't open the door for you. <br /><br />You're also an amazing mom. Your stories of motherhood inspire us to mimic those same qualities in our own relationship with our children. For instance, the time you "protected the house from monsters" and had your son and his friend push a button to keep the monsters from digging under the protective force field. Or how you used to take your son to the park and let him run in the sprinklers, or the stories of how you'd lay in bed at night and talk about the day, or how you stood up at a martial art competition and yelled "who's kid is this?!" or when you took on a principal about a stupid math project. All these stories, make us strive to be better mothers. <br /><br />There are also funny stories about you that make us feel close to you, like the time you wondered why a "pot stop" was needed before a Pink Floyd concert. Or the time you ruined your one and only good blouse when your lab partner cried her eyes out on your shoulders, or when an ex-boyfriend fretted about crumbs you left on his counter. I can go on and on, please know that we know you give a piece of your soul to every caller that will embrace it. You are an admirable, integral and loving woman. Thank you for being you!! <br /><br />Sandra<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-07-14T17:58:00Z
The Right Choice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Right-Choice/278529110150230792.html
2015-07-14T17:57:00Z
2015-07-14T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Thank you Dr. Laura for your advice many years ago. I called asking about my wife and me taking in a small child from a teenaged distant relative. The teen mom could not care for the girl and I was conflicted having to raise another child as we already had three. As the child had already lived with us for a year, your advice was to take her in. She is still with us to this day. The challenges are very strong, but I believe it was the right choice and I wanted to say thanks. <br /><br />David</p>
Staff
2015-07-14T17:57:00Z
Don't Overlook the Red Flags
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dont-Overlook-the-Red-Flags/905119655115105175.html
2015-07-13T17:58:00Z
2015-07-13T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am active duty Navy, but returned from a 9 month deployment this past November. During that deployment, I was engaged to the wrong person. At the time I ignored all the red flags you said to watch out for. She did not believe in God; I do. She was fine with sticking future children in day care; I was not. I could keep going on and on, but there were too many to name. I made the mistake of marrying this person. <br /><br />After listening to your program I realized I had made a horrible mistake, so instead of dragging any future children through a guaranteed divorce, I chose to end the marriage. I thank you for allowing me to come to this conclusion. I was raised in a household with a mother AND father who loved my sister and me. I will not start a trend of raising kids in a divorced home or one where the parents do not love each other and do not date each other. <br /><br />She used to make fun of me for going home on the weekends to visit my parents as I am lucky enough to be stationed 4 hours from home. Instead of listening to her nag me about that, I listened to your podcast for those 4 hours and it truly makes me a better person. I cannot thank you enough for standing up for what is right when society is so wrong. You make me a stronger person. When I choose my next wife, I will not overlook the red flags you speak so much about and I will follow your wisdom from now on. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Jamie</p>
Staff
2015-07-13T17:58:00Z
My Unique Recording System
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Unique-Recording-System/-854312116326183357.html
2015-07-13T17:57:00Z
2015-07-13T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />A number of years ago, while I was still teaching and you were on a local broadcast radio station, in order to not miss your program, I would arrange 3 timers on 3 different radio cassette recorders each day such that when I arrived home in the evening I would have the total 3-hr. show recorded on 3 separate cassette tapes. Then I was able to listen to the entire show at home or in my car. <br /><br />Today, life is easier; I am retired and I have the podcast downloaded on my iPod. However, my husband and I still laugh about the days when every evening the priority was to re-set our "recording system" so I would not miss the next-day's program. Thanks for all you do for all of us listeners! <br /><br />Violet </p>
Staff
2015-07-13T17:57:00Z
A Person Can Change Your Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Person-Can-Change-Your-Life/191792714413653602.html
2015-07-10T17:58:00Z
2015-07-10T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I come from a broken home and many traumatic childhood situations. My sperm donor has always been absent and both my mother and sperm donor shacked up throughout my childhood. So, of course, when I was a young woman, I made the mistakes of becoming a shack-up honey as well. I was always in search of that fatherly love and affection. <br /><br />When I was 20 years old, I met my now husband. He introduced me to you and we would drive around and listen you every chance we had. He was the first man to court me and treat me with the love and respect I always craved. We did not shack up or have sex before we were married. We married young, but I knew I had chosen wisely. His parents were a big part in my decision process in him for a husband. People very much underestimate the importance of the in-laws. <br /><br />We just celebrated our 7 year anniversary and have two little boys. I am a stay-at-home mom, my husband's girlfriend and he is my boyfriend. We are seriously considering me homeschooling our children. I just need you to know you have been a guiding light in our lives - especially mine. If it wasn't for you I may not have ever learned how to properly care and feed my man, raise my babies and do the right thing. <br /><br />Keep doing what you do, you are my hero! Thank you. <br /><br />Amber<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-07-10T17:58:00Z
He Always Treats Kindly
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Always-Treats-Kindly/-290760531797422307.html
2015-07-10T17:57:00Z
2015-07-10T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My husband, of almost 22 years, has always paid attention when it comes to what I like/want/need. From the very small and insignificant to major life concerns, he has always looked out for my best interests and has in your words "treated kindly". <br /><br />The specific event that solidified it for me occurred several months after we started dating. I was attending my brother's wedding and he had stayed behind at my home because I don't think he was invited. When I returned many hours later, he had taken it upon himself to completely detail my car. As a single girl, working two jobs and the owner of a very large and hairy dog, it was quite a mess. He used those hours to do something for me that I didn't have time to do for myself. He has never stopped doing these things. He calls every night as he's leaving work to ask if I need anything. He is the love of my life. <br /><br />Thank you, <br /><br />Susan</p>
Staff
2015-07-10T17:57:00Z
Better Than a Mother-in-Law
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Better-Than-a-Mother-in-Law/-21838665830123944.html
2015-07-09T17:58:00Z
2015-07-09T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />I want to tell you about my wonderful, gracious mother-in-law. She was my mother-in-law for 42 years, until her death 3 weeks short of her 99th birthday. <br /><br />After a couple of decades of hearing you take calls from women whose husbands would not support them against their mothers, it occurred to me I literally do not know whether my husband would support me or not. I don't know because my mother-in-law never ever put her son in a position where he had to choose. <br /><br />The Christmas after we were married, his mother knit sweaters for her two daughters and me, the same style in different colors. The next Christmas she knit sweaters for her son and her son-in-law. Even as an insecure twit, I recognized the gesture as a sign she considered her children-in-law as her children. <br /><br />In the early years, any time she caught herself making a remark in conversation that might be construed as a suggestion like, "Isn't that blue a pretty color?", she would quickly add, "But of course, you should do exactly as you please." When she and I were out and about and we ran into someone I knew, I never introduced her as my mother-in-law. I always introduced her as my husband's mother, because she did not deserve the connotations of "mother-in-law". <br /><br />Beth</p>
Staff
2015-07-09T17:58:00Z
No Dating Until They're No Longer Minors
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-Dating-Until-Theyre-No-Longer-Minors/-427091665333657215.html
2015-07-09T17:57:00Z
2015-07-09T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just want to share with you why your advice works. I have been divorced for 9 years. It would have been easy to play victim, but from your show, I realize I picked poorly. I am responsible for the mess I created for my 2 sons and myself. <br /><br />My boys were in 2nd and 3rd grade when I divorced and listening to you I knew the statistics were better for my kids if I didn't date or re-marry. I wanted my boys to know that someone in their lives could make a promise and commitment then follow through with them. I told them with 100% certainty that I was only here for them and they could relax. No dating or new families moving in. <br /><br />My boys wrote me the most wonderful Mother's Day cards. One said simply: <br /><br />"Thanks for being a great mom and always being there for us!". <br /><br />The other one expanded on this. He wrote: <br /><br />"Thank you for always being there. If there's one person in this world that I can count on being there, it has to be you. Without the guidance and moral foundation that you have provided for my brother and me, I feel as if I might have drifted away. I appreciate you providing us insight as to how to deal with Dad. Without it, my seemingly sound decisions that I would've made, wouldn't have been good for anybody. Thanks for being a great Mom and a great individual. I mean it." <br /><br />My kid just said he would have drifted away. <br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura. I hear the listeners' voices when you tell them 10 years without dating. The years go by fast and you just might save your kids by doing this. I have one more year and both will be in college and I too will be able to start a new adventure. My boys are as excited for me as I am for them. They also know I am always available for a truthful opinion or just to listen. <br /><br />Thank you, <br /><br />A.C.</p>
Staff
2015-07-09T17:57:00Z
Very Important Careers!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Very-Important-Careers!/-948677940029335924.html
2015-07-08T17:57:00Z
2015-07-08T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I work in a metropolitan area where people are very focused on their very important careers. There is a day orphanage (day care) in our office park and I sometimes see the children being pushed around on walks in large, industrial strollers that carry 6-9 children at once. They are made of hard plastic and look extremely uncomfortable. <br /><br />Yesterday, I was on a walk and saw one of these strollers full of helpless infants, whose parents are in nearby offices doing very important things. The baby in the front of the stroller must have only been six weeks old, not old enough to even support his head up, but he was slumped into the seat and looked miserable. I couldn't believe my eyes! How could a mother leave this tiny human in an institution that profits from bulk babysitting? I scoured the state laws and regulations to see if there was anything I could do to shed light on this, but I realized that it is completely lawful to shove a newborn baby into a day orphanage and forget about them while you are busy, busy, busy in your important career. <br /><br />Dr. Laura, my greatest desire is to be a mother. Since we married, my husband and I have been living on his salary alone and saving all of my salary to prepare for the day when I quit my job and raise our children. Our struggle with infertility makes it even more difficult to see the institutionalizing of babies. When we welcome our bundle of joy into the world, it will be a time of bonding, attentiveness, and teaching our child how to trust and connect. I know when I quit my job I will be replaced in a number of hours. There is always someone that can balance spreadsheets and attend very important meetings--but the work of a mommy is the one job I won't be giving up. Thank you for being an advocate for mothers actually mothering their children! <br /><br />Heather</p>
Staff
2015-07-08T17:57:00Z
Waiting for Parenthood
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Waiting-for-Parenthood/587170605514793179.html
2015-07-08T17:57:00Z
2015-07-08T17:57:00Z
<p><br />My husband and I were married for 10 years before we started having kids at age 33. We now have a 7, 4 and 3 year old. If we would have started any sooner, it would have ripped our marriage apart because of all the hard work that needs to go into parenting. We didn't have the patience or maturity before the age of 33 ... And even then it was a challenge. <br /><br />We knew each other really well when we had our first child. We had spent our twenties traveling, getting our educations and having fun. We got to a point where we no longer wanted to hit the night life and preferred spending nights in. That's when the kids started showing up. Now I'm 40 and tired, but it's better than being 20, impatient and immature due to a lack of life experience, which is what I would have been if I would have had kids any sooner. <br /><br />Stacie</p>
Staff
2015-07-08T17:57:00Z
Transitional Character
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Transitional-Character/141871972443785103.html
2015-07-07T17:58:00Z
2015-07-07T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am my kid's mom and my husband's girlfriend. As a young adult, I listened to your program primarily for entertainment purposes. It was fun to hear you rip into self-absorbed, arrogant callers. Now as a SAHM, I appreciate the wisdom and guidance you give countless families every day. <br /><br />Over the years, you've revealed in guarded moments bits and pieces of your childhood. I think it's safe to say that life with your family of origin was less-than-ideal. Even though you come across as having a hard shell at times, I know you have a tender and compassionate heart. I read your book "Bad Childhood, Good Life" and couldn't help but think you were writing from a position of experience. <br /><br />This past week, I had an epiphany about why you are doing your program. It's not for entertainment, it's not for kicks and giggles, it's not even for the fun of ripping new ones into callers. Are you familiar with the term, "transitional character"? A transitional character is one who, in a single generation, changes the entire course of a lineage. The changes might be for good or ill, but the most noteworthy examples are those individuals who grow up in an abusive, emotionally destructive environment and who somehow find a way to metabolize the poison and refuse to pass it on to their children. They break the mold. They refute the observation that abused children become abusive parents; that the children of alcoholics become alcoholic adults, that "the sins of the fathers are visited upon the heads of children to the third and fourth generation." Their contribution to humanity is to filter the destructiveness out of their own lineage so the generations downstream will have a supportive foundation upon which to build productive lives. I think you are the very definition of a transitional character. You experienced a dysfunctional family without BEING dysfunctional. You experienced failure without BEING a failure. And you refused to pass along to your son the destructive messages you received in your childhood. Not only that, but you are encouraging, pleading, and DEMANDING others to step up to the plate and be transitional characters themselves. <br /><br />I thank you for all that you do, and for being an example for good, to so many. <br /><br />Anne <br /><br />Quote source: Carlfred Broderick 1932-1999, psychologist and marriage/family scholar at USC.<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-07-07T17:58:00Z
The Importance of Fathers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-of-Fathers/-897099269102313122.html
2015-07-07T17:57:00Z
2015-07-07T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I found this article to be both heartbreaking and insightful. <br /><br /><a href="http://www.godvine.com/read/should-we-cancel-fathers-day-fb-gv-967.html" target="_blank">Should We Cancel Father's Day?</a> Why is it so hard to admit we NEED our fathers? <br /><br />How long before public schools ban Father's/Mother's Day? <br /><br />Kelly</p>
Staff
2015-07-07T17:57:00Z
Going to School With a Newborn
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Going-to-School-With-a-Newborn/-682399815728783053.html
2015-07-06T17:58:00Z
2015-07-06T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura - <br /><br />I'm a guide at a nursing website and we had a question this morning from a first-time mom who is about to give birth. She wanted to know if she should continue to do her pre-reqs for nursing school with a newborn and asked for examples of how other women completed school with one. Any time this issue comes up, we try to be very careful not to start a mommy-war, but it happens. One answer really riled me up and made me want to go "Dr. Laura" on her, but I managed to merely answer the original poster. I did want to send you the post that made me angry because it shows exactly the mindset of some parents today. The quote is below: </p>
<blockquote>"The first few weeks are most definitely not magical in any sense of the term. Your son will not notice or care if you're not around playing with him 24/7 during that time and in fact you may welcome the distraction of school. In my experience, the first few months of having my child were absolutely miserable and I'd have lost my mind if I hadn't had a job and school to distract me from the grind of taking care of baby. My mom did nursing school with a newborn, she worked out an arrangement with her professors and brought my older brother to class with her while he was in that tiny, sleeps-and-eats phase. When he got too big for that, she put him in day care. Honestly, school is doable with a newborn and a good support system, but it will take a lot of time management, prioritization, organization, all that good stuff. Know yourself. Will you be able to focus and study and do well enough to get the grades you need in the midst of the crazy? If not, disregard my above advice and take time off to adjust to being a parent. Good luck all around and do try to enjoy that new baby, even though it can be very trying at times!"</blockquote>
Thanks for all you do, Dr. Laura. <br /><br />Stephanie
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-07-06T17:58:00Z
The Issue of Rape
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Issue-of-Rape/50003523857011875.html
2015-07-06T17:57:00Z
2015-07-06T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Fond Greetings Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just thought I would mention the new policy regarding rape has resulted in my entirely changing the ways in which I interact with students on campus. Indeed, I no longer have office hours in my office. Rather, I have my office hours in a public setting on campus. This I do in order to preclude the very possibility of a false accusation of sexual impropriety even getting off the ground. And in this day and time, the point holds as much for men as it does for women. A most poignant truth is false accusations constitute a reality nowadays that would have been utterly unthinkable a mere 20 years ago. And that is part of the reason why education is mightily failing in the United States. <br /><br />Keep on being brilliant. <br /><br />All the Best to you, Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Laurence</p>
Staff
2015-07-06T17:57:00Z
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cognitive-Behavioral-Therapy/612956949035830204.html
2015-06-26T17:58:00Z
2015-06-26T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am the cautionary tale I've heard you mention on your show countless times. I have literally been in talk therapy for more than 3/4 of my entire LIFE. That's THIRTY YEARS! All my life, I have struggled with crippling O.C.D., Body Dysmorphic Disorder, and Social Anxiety. <br /><br />At age 12, I began talk-therapy with a very well-meaning Marriage Family Child Counselor. While she did trace the roots of my disorders you guessed it...to my mother -- hooray for FREUD -- finding the roots of it, did nothing to help me get over it! I saw that doctor for 15 years. She retired, and referred me to her best friend, another MFCC, who I then saw for another 12 years! Still, none of my symptoms were improving. At one point, it got so bad, I spent an entire year barricaded in my little studio apartment, convinced I was so hideously disfigured, that people on the streets might chase me with pitchforks and torches. I wanted to die. I just couldn't bear to be in my own skin -- the skin I spent over an hour washing up to three times a day until it bled. I finally realized, if I didn't try something new, or have myself committed, I was going to kill myself. <br /><br />While researching in-patient treatment facilities, I came across something totally foreign to me: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It quite literally saved my life! For once, nobody there wanted to talk about my childhood, or how I got there. The point is to give you exercises, homework, and actual tools to get you better and OUT OF THERAPY - such a novel concept to a girl who had been talking circles about her mother for the better part of 25 years! The first thing they did was have me write down a list of all my "rules" someone with OCD has. Then, they basically had me break them...one by one...using "Exposure Therapy". This has literally been the hardest work I've ever done. But, after just two years, I am finally FREE!!!! I am a completely changed woman, and it only took TWO YEARS of therapy!!! <br /><br />Thank you for recommending Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to your listeners with anxiety disorders. I am living proof it works. If only I had known about CBT before wasting 30 years and, if my math is correct, around $93,000 on pointless talk therapy. I've been listening to you for over 20 years, and one day, I hope to shake your hand... and now I won't need to use hand-sanitizer afterward! <br /><br />With Much Gratitude, <br /><br />Amanda</p>
Staff
2015-06-26T17:58:00Z
'I'm Bored...'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Bored.../-214708800847316735.html
2015-06-26T17:57:00Z
2015-06-26T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />The best advice I got when I started homeschooling my kids was to let them be bored. When electronics are off, (yes that means no TV, computers or video games), kids are forced to find other ways to entertain themselves. <br /><br />I have 2 daughters: one will head into the backyard to garden and catch lizards, the other usually stays inside and listens to books on tape while she draws or works with clay. This isn't to say we don't have a busy summer planned. We have scheduled camps, play dates and beach days, but I have very intentionally scheduled a fair amount of down time. <br /><br />Kids today are over scheduled and too dependent on their parents for entertainment. Kids need to learn both how to entertain themselves as well as how to discover their own interests. <br /><br />Thanks, <br /><br />Tammy </p>
Staff
2015-06-26T17:57:00Z
Bored Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bored-Children/-713693209907040277.html
2015-06-25T17:58:00Z
2015-06-25T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />I think it's important to raise children in a manner that sparks creativity in them. Interacting early on with your child as well as giving them the opportunity to entertain themselves are important. Every minute of the day cannot be scheduled for them. They need time when they should be able to choose whether to listen to music, read, climb a tree, get other kids to play, etc. In my opinion, children that have too many things available to them seem to easily become bored. I believe if you give your kiddo plenty of your attention and guidance you won't have a bored kid. <br /><br />When my daughter was 3 we lived in a small apt and in the summer we went to the pool every morning and swam till lunch time. We'd go home have lunch and some quiet time. Some afternoons we'd go back to the pool for a few hours. Sometimes we'd go to the park or I'd briskly walk behind her as she peddled her tricycle. Rainy days we'd pull out "stuff" I had collected for the craft box and make refrigerator art, etc. We'd play age-appropriate board games: Chutes and Ladders was a favorite. When Daddy came home, she would rush to the door to tell him what had occupied her day. <br /><br />As she got older, and her brother came along, we continued doing things which might be boring to other people but at the time we didn't have a lot of money for extras. Fridays, I'd make pizza dough and everyone could top their own pizza however they liked. We usually had another kid or two at our house for homemade pizza. The kids loved it. I'd often overhear a child whisper to my son, "Will you ask your mom if I can stay for dinner?". <br /><br />Looking back, I realize I gave my kids more with less. My kids are smart and creative. Some of their friends call my husband and me, Dad and Mom. I treasure that. <br /><br />Last August, we became grandparents. We were blessed with a little girl. I know how much we love our children and son-in-law, but this little girl has my heart in her little hands. She's not quite a year, but I treasure every moment I get to hold her. I dream of all the silly little things I will do with her: sitting in the grass and making a clover necklace, feeding birds at the beach or at a park, dying Easter eggs, swimming, going to the zoo, playing mini golf, having a tea party and the list goes on. I have a million things I can think of we'll do and I know in my heart this new child will never be bored. I can see how she looks at things with curiosity and wonder. Those traits don't allow for boredom to ever take hold. <br /><br />Maria</p>
Staff
2015-06-25T17:58:00Z
One Way to Avoid Procrastinating
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/One-Way-to-Avoid-Procrastinating/429508758616160093.html
2015-06-25T17:57:00Z
2015-06-25T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />My mother-in-law was disciplined and had the best way to avoid procrastination! She had a to-do list. Each day she would choose to FIRST do the task on the list she LEAST wanted to do. Then she got to cross it off and feel the weight of the world lift from her shoulders. Otherwise, that task would still be there the next day and every day following while weighing heavier and heavier each day. The rest of the tasks looked easier and she was able to tackle the rest of her to-do list still doing her least favorite first of the tasks remaining. <br /><br />Of course, sometimes you get one task done and then have to add two more to your list. <br /><br />I'm a bit of a procrastinator, but I think of her and try to follow her great example, mostly. <br /><br />Barbara</p>
Staff
2015-06-25T17:57:00Z
Telling People about a Child Molester
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Telling-People-about-a-Child-Molester/-926841602072026078.html
2015-06-24T17:58:00Z
2015-06-24T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />This is the best letter I have ever written! You make a difference and you make an impact! <br /><br />You had a caller that expressed concern over her brother-in-law molesting a family member. What you said changed my life in a GREAT way. You said it is that person's responsibility to share the information to protect children. The guilt lies with them if they do nothing. I stopped dead in my tracks. <br /><br />It took me two days, but I did it: I told my husband about my step-dad. He molested me from when I was 11 until I was 16. We don't live in the state he lives in so I could keep him away from my daughter. Then I told my sister-in-law (my half-brother's wife) since they have two children. I was scared, nervous, and relieved. She listened and we talked for hours. She vowed to never have her children near him. An hour later, I received a call from her husband who said, "You better watch who you tell." That sent me in a fit of rage - good rage! I told him to pound sand and I can tell anyone I want if I think could benefit from not being around his father. I promptly hung up, changed my cell number, and we have not talked since. Of course I haven't spoken to my step-dad either. He just stopped calling one day and I know why. <br /><br />Now, it is me who makes a difference and an impact. I am home to greet my soon-to-be 9th grade daughter every day, and am back to being my husband's girlfriend. I am not a victim. I stood up for those that can't stand up for themselves and sharing this vital information gives me strength daily to do the right thing. <br /><br />Thank you for your show. You are the mom I never had. <br /><br />Heather <br /><br />P.S. When hubby left this morning he asked what my day entailed. I am so happy to share that writing this letter was part of my day.</p>
Staff
2015-06-24T17:58:00Z
Picking Wisely
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Picking-Wisely/955315387989085304.html
2015-06-24T17:57:00Z
2015-06-24T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />When my mother was dying in hospice, my husband of 30+ years flew with me to her, sat with me by her bedside, and held her hand. The first few days she knew us, and asked for things like a lemon ice, a root beer float, special lotion, etc. He got those things for her, even though she only was only able to lick the spoon. As things progressed, she'd ask for her sons who were not there, and he squeezed her hand and said, "Yes, Mom, it's ____. I'm here." He was whomever she needed. <br /><br />That is the wonderful man I married--taking care of his family unselfishly and quietly. He's not a talker or emotional, but an engineer who gets things done and sees the job through. This is what happens when you pick wisely. Best decision I ever made was to marry this man, and I continue to treat him very, very kindly. <br /><br />Kim</p>
Staff
2015-06-24T17:57:00Z
Saying Goodbye
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Saying-Goodbye/696819056665536234.html
2015-06-23T17:58:00Z
2015-06-23T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />God's timing is perfect. I don't know another way to put it. I worked at a well-known insurance company when I lost my job to a layoff after September 11th. I took that time to visit family out of state and while I was away, my husband was also laid off. <br /><br />Upon my return, my 29-year-old husband told me he needed a job he couldn't be "laid off" from and so he enlisted in the Navy. At the time, our children were 4 and 8. We moved from the east coast to the west coast with no clue what lay ahead. After a 9 month deployment, a change of duty station, and then a severe back injury, he was medically retired after 7 years of service. We were back at square one. <br /><br />We moved back to our home state, where I've been employed and laid off again. Recently, I interviewed for a job at the same insurance company I had previously been employed at. I received an offer of employment and called my grandmother to let her know the good news. She has a couple of aneurysms and one has started leaking. Surgery is not an option. Humorously, I told her she was not permitted to die. Her laugh was sweet, and she responded, "Okay, I'll be sure to let my body know." <br /><br />My cousin called me crying about our grandmother. Why wasn't I this upset? I don't want my grandmother to die, but I think I've accepted it. It is funny how the thought of someone dying can make people behave so differently. We are ALL dying. It isn't a matter of IF, it is a matter of WHEN and I don't want to think of this life as being the end. When I think of my beautiful grandmother, I do not think of me losing her, rather I think of her reuniting with my grandfather and her parents. I think of her being happy. <br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura for being that moral compass in a place where morals seem foreign. God Bless and take care! <br /><br />Maria </p>
Staff
2015-06-23T17:58:00Z
Abusing Your Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Abusing-Your-Husband/-829452916996557084.html
2015-06-23T17:57:00Z
2015-06-23T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />You are going to like this. <br /><br />Woman Realizes She's Been Accidentally Abusing Her Husband This Whole Time... <br /><br />This is an honest, open story from a young woman about her marriage. There are some powerful truths spoken here, worthy of notice and reflection. If you're married, have ever been married, or plan on getting married eventually, this is for you. <br /><br /><a href="http://www.thefederalistpapers.org/us/woman-realizes-that-shes-been-accidentally-abusing-her-husband-this-whole-time" target="_blank">Read the entire article.</a> <br /><br />And, by the way, I have gained so much wisdom from listening to you for over a decade that it can't even be quantified! <br /><br />Big hugs, <br /><br />Jackie, mom of 6 sons, 1 daughter and now "Gram" to 2 granddaughters <br /><br />P.S. And you have one of the best laughs on the planet! </p>
Staff
2015-06-23T17:57:00Z
Road to Recovery for Addicts
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Road-to-Recovery-for-Addicts/457461529843978364.html
2015-06-22T17:58:00Z
2015-06-22T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was listening to a call from a gal who was drinking a bottle of wine every night. Your advice was for her to get in touch with A.A. All her excuses were met by you with perfect answers. Not giving her sympathy/empathy is the best thing us addicts can receive. I applaud you. I am a recovering prescription drug addict. I have to say my husband, my desire to receive help and A.A. saved my life! <br /><br />I live in a relatively small area, we do have Narc-Anon, but a friend of mine was a member of A.A. and I decided to try that avenue. You were right, they do give you advice related to what you are going through. The caller needs to realize, she is not special; she is one of millions of addicts. <br /><br />My reason for this email, is I would like to say to that caller.... drop your EGO! Become humble! Realize everyone in those walls of A.A. are there for the same reason as you! You are not any better or any worse, you are an addict. The first thing you can do for yourself, is to say "My name is _______ and I am an alcoholic". Trust me, I understand that is one of the hardest things to say when your ego is still overshadowing your humility. Once I did, I started working the program, getting a sponsor, and hanging out with people in my comfort level, who could "A.A." me no matter where we are. I had 24 hours then 30 days, then 6 months, now I have 7.5 years and am so happy to have this. <br /><br />My husband was a huge part in my recovery. He is the first person I admitted I had a problem to. Was he angry, probably, but he didn't show it, he jumped in and helped me figure it out. He is my best friend, boyfriend, and the love of my life. I knew if I didn't get this under some sort of control, I could possibly lose him or he could lose me to death. <br /><br />Caller...you are slowly and painfully killing yourself and making your family watch. Get help....swallow your pride, use your husband's willingness to help you! There is no EGO in recovery!<br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura. Listening to this made me realize just how lucky I am. I got help, am still living the A.A. life, and am so blessed to have such a wildly awesome husband and best friend! You are Aces! <br /><br />Jacquie<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-06-22T17:58:00Z
Keeping on the Right Track
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-on-the-Right-Track/-217522925185257843.html
2015-06-22T17:57:00Z
2015-06-22T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />When I was a girl, I'd always stop at my friend's house with her stay-at-home mom and dream about the day I could make snacks for my kids and talk to them about their day. I have since told my friend's mom she was my role model. <br /><br />Well, I made my dream come true. My two youngest graduated high school last week. I always took them to and from school even though other moms told me it was a waste of time and gas to do so. I also always had a snack for them when they got home. It was a nutrition decision as well because I had been overweight in school since all we ever had was convenience/junk food. I determined as a mommy, it was my job to have nutritious food in the house. <br /><br />Dr. Laura, I didn't have a "mom" I had a person that gave birth to me and now after listening to you for many years, I realize she was a very selfish person that didn't seem to know how to be a mom. I have heard you say you have 2 chances at a mother/child relationship and I have awesome relationships with 2 of them and am working on the 3rd. I love my girls more than anything, thanks for keeping me on track. <br /><br />Raeanne</p>
Staff
2015-06-22T17:57:00Z
How to Act Around a Dying Loved One
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-to-Act-Around-a-Dying-Loved-One/-548913717687858170.html
2015-06-19T17:58:00Z
2015-06-19T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />A number of years ago our beloved high school music teacher was called home to Heaven. Prior to his passing, we held a tribute to him in our home town and celebrated his life. A short while later, while he was at hospice many of his past music students from the 60's through the 90's came to visit and say a last goodbye. <br /><br />We prayed, sang, talked, laughed and cried while we prepared to say goodbye to "Our Music Man". When we closed his door to not disturb others, a nurse came and asked us to keep the door open and look into the hallways. Many other patients and families were sitting at their doors or had rolled into the hall so they could hear our songs of faith, love and praise. We sang for all of them and those who could, sang with us. That day was special because Our Music Man was able to talk and tell us stories - remembering many things in his past and ours. <br /><br />We lost him early next morning. Our chain of calls went out from coast to coast and cries were heard through the night as we mourned. He was in Heaven - another Music Man had joined the Orchestra and Heavenly Choir. <br /><br />Thanks for allowing me the privilege of sharing this memory, Dr. Laura. Enjoy your life!! <br /><br />Respectfully, <br /><br />Toni </p>
Staff
2015-06-19T17:58:00Z
Keeping Me Sane
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-Me-Sane/-17217013282921547.html
2015-06-19T17:57:00Z
2015-06-19T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br /> Dr. Laura, <br /><br />In the days when I was in the thick of raising my eight kids, 5 boys, 3 girls, all mine and my hubby's, all single births, all home schooled, finding your radio show helped keep me sane, strong and determined. I knew staying home to raise my kids, no matter how hard, was good and right, and your voice reinforced that I wasn't crazy for doing just that. In the never-ending days of soccer mom, tuning into your show gave me a push and sometimes a kick in the butt that made my day rock. You helped me figure out, resolve, and be affirmative in many child rearing and marital issues. <br /><br />After 32 years of marriage, we are still crazy in love. I am a happy and blessed woman, and he's been open and supportive to your advice. Currently, I am a bereavement ministry leader as we lost an infant son in a horrific auto accident. Your wisdom has helped me, help others who are bereaving. This is a hard ministry to serve in, so many heart-wrenching stories, but I know it's the right thing for me to do. Our team of over 20 volunteers shares our passion and helps us deliver 80-100 free bereavement care packages each month. <br /><br />Many blessings, <br /><br />Pam</p>
Staff
2015-06-19T17:57:00Z
Boats Are Built to Withstand Rocking
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Boats-Are-Built-to-Withstand-Rocking/951431085939680017.html
2015-06-18T17:58:00Z
2015-06-18T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Fewer men are getting married because they simply don't have to. They are allowed to receive some of the personal, intimate benefits of marriage without experiencing the enviable challenges. When difficulty rears its head, they head for the door. They will never know that real intimacy is enhanced by challenge. Women in these relationships spend so much time trying not to rock the boat because they know these men will leave them. <br /><br />A truly committed man will not run from you in difficult times. He will run towards you because he knows that boats are built to withstand rocking. A woman with self-respect, dignity and a sense of self-worth knows that a boat that cannot withstand rocking is defective. <br /><br />Shame on these males and shame on these females for their participation in this hideous charade. <br /><br />Olivia</p>
Staff
2015-06-18T17:58:00Z
When a Woman Appreciates Him
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-a-Woman-Appreciates-Him/-509388088983510406.html
2015-06-18T17:57:00Z
2015-06-18T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />A one sided relationship is an extremely difficult thing to deal with. When you feel you are the only one putting any effort into the marriage, you begin to resent the costs in all areas and it becomes a very difficult thing to maintain. <br /><br />A man will spend his last dime on a woman who appreciates and needs him. He'll fetch her the moon if he can find a tall enough ladder. Neither does it become a drudgery. It's why women sometimes wake up to find another woman has stepped up and filled in the gaps and they become indignant at what they created themselves. I do not approve of such behavior but it still happens. <br /><br />My pastor used to say, "A man doesn't run away from happiness." <br /><br />Ronald</p>
Staff
2015-06-18T17:57:00Z
Why Fewer Men Are Marriage Material
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Fewer-Men-Are-Marriage-Material/593983731410170153.html
2015-06-18T17:56:00Z
2015-06-18T17:56:00Z
<p><br /><br />I am a 50-year-old male who has worked every day since I was 18. I put myself through college, worked hard at every job and was fairly successful. I made enough so my wife would not have to work while raising our daughter. I am grateful I did not have a son so I would not have to tell him this. I would not ask him to sign up for the same life I have done. <br /><br />My wife is a wonderful person and the greatest at everything, but intimacy. It is so "NORMAL" that a woman shows great affection and attention until they have children and then well, I'm only useful because I work and bring in the money. Young men basically are no longer stupid and my daughter will have a hard time finding someone who fits the criteria of her dad. But mostly I don't blame the young men - why would you sign up for all this hard work of raising a family when as a general rule you can't even put your hand on your wife's leg without her saying "it's too hot". <br /><br />Good luck on the people who do have sons to raise. <br /><br />John</p>
Staff
2015-06-18T17:56:00Z
America in Decline vs. Asia Ascendancy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/America-in-Decline-vs.-Asia-Ascendancy/-194709115786742815.html
2015-06-17T17:58:00Z
2015-06-17T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was once part of the 9 percent (b. 1954) of Americans who performed at a world-class level in math and science. I've spent more than 25 years in various postings in Asia with military and civilian organizations and not only survived, but thrived when competing directly with many of the Asian nationalities. <br /><br />While the average American may have trouble reconciling his checkbook, there are structural and cultural impediments the Chinese and other Asians must work to overcome. These include, but are not limited to:</p>
<ol>
<li>male dominated societies that give women few opportunities outside of the home</li>
<br />
<li>a huge percentage of "Mommy's boys"</li>
<br />
<li>a tendency to look towards strong authoritarian leaders</li>
<br />
<li>a lesser ability to adapt and improvise in the heat of the moment</li>
<br />
<li>less trust in the judicial system</li>
<br />
<li>closed insular societies</li>
<br />
<li>very good elementary and high schools but crappy universities</li>
<br />
<li>too much reliance on rote memorization with very little critical thinking. </li>
</ol>
<p>While my viewpoints are subjective and are difficult to quantify with hard data, one thing that can be quantified is the number of "naturalized" citizens and people seeking to emigrate and study in those Asian countries. While it is rare to see a naturalized Japanese, Korean, or Chinese citizen or people wishing to emigrate to those countries for other than economic reasons, the life blood of American society is constantly reinvigorated through our immigrants. We also have a lot of inertia in our companies and institutions based on the past accomplishments of our citizens. I'm betting on Americans ability to adapt and improvise along with our ability incorporate women and foreigners into our society to eventually carry the day. <br /><br />Just my two cents. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Raymond</p>
Staff
2015-06-17T17:58:00Z
Why Our Educational System Is Failing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Our-Educational-System-Is-Failing/640861895125935475.html
2015-06-17T17:57:00Z
2015-06-17T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />I am good friends with our church choir director who was a passionate and creative public elementary school teacher for many years. He just recently retired. He has always been pretty closed-mouth about the problems in the schools, but after retiring, he started to open up during our one-on-one carpooling to choir practice once a week. He says that the two big problems in the public schools are <br /><br /></p>
<ol>
<li>Kids can do anything with no consequence, AND THEY KNOW IT. They can ignore homework or other assignments, can cut class, and can be rude and disrespectful with very little consequence.</li>
<br />
<li>Too many kids have almost no parental support or encouragement to achieve at school. </li>
</ol>
<p><br />Of course, these two problems are related, but he claims these two make it difficult to impossible to create a positive learning environment. My two step-granddaughters ages 16 and 14 are fortunate to attend a private religious school and I see the joy in learning they have from a controlled and traditional environment. Almost all the kids around them are interested in the academics, and so the joy spreads. <br /><br />Chuck</p>
Staff
2015-06-17T17:57:00Z
If You Choose Poorly, Don't Have Babies
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/If-You-Choose-Poorly,-Dont-Have-Babies/-106692041374274078.html
2015-06-16T17:58:00Z
2015-06-16T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I had not heard of you when I was married years ago. I was 23, a recent college graduate, and thought I knew just about everything. I dated my husband 3 months before we graduated and moved 4 hours apart due to jobs. We dated long distance another 12 months before we were married. I knew we were too young to start having kids and besides, I really enjoyed working. I did not consider myself a feminist but I did believe that when I had kids, I would go back to work and my husband and I would equally share in the child rearing. <br /><br />My husband was a manager and worked 7 days a week. I brought casseroles and our dog to his office on Saturdays for a "picnic" on his desk. I cooked 5 nights a week, grilled one night and had pizza hut date night on Fridays. I was in charge of the housework, laundry, and yard work because my husband was gone most of the time. <br /><br />When I turned 29, I told him I was ready to start our plan of having kids. We had saved a ton of money by not eating out, no vacations, and living modestly. We did not have a fantastic marriage, but he kept promising he just had to work like this "a little longer and make more money" and then we could talk about it again. A year passed and nothing changed. <br /><br />I finally asked him "when is enough enough?" He said he could never make enough money and he would not have time to take care of a child at all. I'm leaving out all the temper episodes of cursing, throwing or grabbing me. I chose to leave with the clothes on my back and move out. <br /><br />As much as I wanted a child, I knew I could not expose a child to a father who would not walk through walls to take care of him/her. My best friend begged me to have a child to "save" my marriage, but I told her I could not do that to a child, no matter how much I wanted one. I have since had several friends that chose to have kids with "poorly chosen" dads and it has been nothing but pain for everyone. <br /><br />I ended up having a very lucrative career and recently took a severance. This fall, I will be the proud mom of two Chinese foster brothers. I cannot wait to be a stay-at-home mother and take care of my kids. They are older because I am older. I know it will be an adventure, but I also know God will give me the wisdom and strength to take care of them and raise them to be good men! <br /><br />Thank you for your program and message to people in our nation. We need your wisdom and insight. You are an incredible woman and I do wish you all good things for your family. <br /><br />Susan <br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-06-16T17:58:00Z
U.S. Education
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/U.S.-Education/640860020686910715.html
2015-06-16T17:57:00Z
2015-06-16T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi, Dr. Laura. <br /><br />You talked about education and students ability to perform in the USA vs other countries. I am from the Czech Republic and I know for a fact what you said is correct. I have friend from Slovakia and she went to nursing school here in the US. She told me how easy college was and that a below average high school student here can become a nurse - which is impossible in our countries. <br /><br />I still consider Czechs and Slovaks like brothers and sisters because our education is more intense and much more difficult. Another friend from Slovakia sent her daughter to US schools to improve her English language. She expected her daughter to struggle, but by the end of the first semester her daughter was the top student in her grade. <br /><br />I also feel very sad knowing all that because I graduated nursing school in the Czech Republic and when I tried to transfer it to US, they didn't accept any of my schools and I would have to start all over again. I truly wish there is something that can be done. I don't have children and this is one of many reasons why I choose not to have them, although I am happily married to my husband and we are financially stable. <br /><br />I appreciate all your patient work with us sometimes blind people. <br /><br />Ilona</p>
Staff
2015-06-16T17:57:00Z
Better Than Self-Help Groups
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Better-Than-Self-Help-Groups/835747193184354122.html
2015-06-15T17:58:00Z
2015-06-15T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />I have a couple of rather special disabled friends. <br /><br />One was made a quadriplegic by a flying accident - he is now back in the cockpit flying with local law enforcement. Sheer determination did it - he never went to a self-help group...unless you call his near-constant companionship of fellow pilots all saying "Do whatever it takes to get back up in the air with us!" <br /><br />The other is a swim-class pal. She has MS and takes lots of medications to keep her body going. She told of going to a self-help group put on by the local hospital. She quickly grew weary of their constant bemoaning over every ache. Ever the optimist, she said, "Stop complaining and join me at the pool...or for coffee...or for a picnic...or a walk on the beach!" She said they kicked her out of the group for being too optimistic! Good thing we were in the shallow part of the pool because we about drowned laughing about it. Gotta go now...it's almost "Pool-Thirty" and I want to hear my friend's latest MS-defeating accomplishment. <br /><br />Gretchen</p>
Staff
2015-06-15T17:58:00Z
Fight or flight?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fight-or-flight/-866053767501825522.html
2015-06-15T17:57:00Z
2015-06-15T17:57:00Z
<br />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I had a decision to make recently regarding when to stand your ground or let it go. <br /><br />I was at my nephew's wedding with my family, sitting in the 2nd row when the grandparents of the ring bearer and flower girl (no relation to our families) demanded our seats. The grandfather said they needed to be by the kids. When we asked the wedding coordinator, she assured us the front row seats included space for the kids and one parent. The grandfather continued to make a scene, as there were no seats available, except in the back. I told him the first few rows were reserved for the immediate family of the groom. <br /><br />With the wedding about to start and this man still making a scene, I told my husband, "I don't want to ruin memories of this day fighting over seats. Let's go." We sat in the back and could not see much of the ceremony. I felt cheated out of seeing my nephew's wedding that day, but was glad to hear afterwards the bride and groom never knew what happened. My brother was furious when he found out and was going to talk to his "friend", (the grandfather) about it. I don't know what happened after that, but I know I did the right thing. <br /><br />Annie</p>
Staff
2015-06-15T17:57:00Z
The Ultimate Road Trip Companion
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Ultimate-Road-Trip-Companion/-36892272196298219.html
2015-06-08T17:58:00Z
2015-06-08T17:58:00Z
<br />
<p>My family of four made the long drive home from Hilton Head, South Carolina to Toronto, Ontario, Canada after a fantastic week of vacation. Since we are avid listeners and Dr. Laura Family Premium members, my husband and I decided to kick off our day by plugging in my phone to our stereo to playback your show. <br /><br />Next thing I know, we ended up listening to 16 consecutive hours of Dr. Laura podcasts as we drove! And if that's not incredible enough, you might be happy to hear that my 12 & 15-year-old sons voluntarily disconnected from their individual iPods to join us in our listening pleasure. <br /><br />Hearing your show, while all gathered in a small space together, where we were not distracted by other things, created a wonderful opportunity for lots of discussions. We all shared opinions, asked questions, and compared notes on certain subjects that applied to our family. It even got to the point where we invented a game: "What will Dr. Laura Say? We would listen to the caller's opening remarks and then pause the podcast and all take turns guessing what your response would be, based on what we had learned so far. I'm proud to say, we usually nailed it. Fun, entertaining and educational all rolled into one long ride! <br /><br />I almost got teary thinking of the effect this special moment was having on our boys, at a time in their lives when they're able to understand the concepts but BEFORE they start down any roads of major life choices. It was also very comforting to realize that they "get it" and that all that we've hoped we were teaching them has taken root. Your advice has had an amazing impact on my life and now the rest of my family too. <br /><br />We'll continue to use your show as a way to check in with each other and as a test of sorts, to see how well we are choosing to live our lives. Thank you so much for making such a difference in this world. You have two new fans in my kids and I can only hope it's for life! <br /><br />Janet </p>
Staff
2015-06-08T17:58:00Z
He Had My Back
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Had-My-Back/-20986149428728288.html
2015-06-08T17:57:00Z
2015-06-08T17:57:00Z
<br />
<p>I knew my husband was "the one" when he stood up for me to his parents. We were dating for two years and I was a young divorcee no-children, he proposed and I said, "Yes!" <br /><br />Everything was going really well until four weeks before our wedding. His parents called one day and wanted to come over and have a "meeting." I thought nothing of it and happily invited them and my husband over to my condo - we were not living together. They proceeded to tell me they were not sure they should be supporting our marriage because I was divorced. They also told me they were not sure of my salvation and that people at their church told them our marriage should not be celebrated since I was divorced! Needless to say, I was thunderstruck and immediately began to cry. My husband put his arm around me, looked at his parents and told them, "Do not try to come between us because you will lose." I knew, right then and there he was "the one"! He was going to have my back regardless of the situation. <br /><br />Twenty years and two kids later, he still has my back and I have been able to stay home and be my kids' mom. My relationship with his parents is great, they did apologize many, many times and asked me to forgive them and I did. <br /><br />Karen </p>
Staff
2015-06-08T17:57:00Z
Why Not to Date With Minor Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Not-to-Date-With-Minor-Children/306597784042101476.html
2015-06-04T17:58:00Z
2015-06-04T17:58:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just want to share with you why your advice works. <br /><br />I have been divorced for 9 years. It would have been easy to play victim, but from your show, I realize I picked poorly. I am responsible for the mess I created for my two sons and myself. My boys were in 2nd and 3rd grade when I divorced, and listening to you I knew the statistics were better for my kids if I didn't date or re-marry. I wanted my boys to know that someone in their lives could make a promise and commitment and follow through with it. I told them with 100% certainty I was only here for them and they could relax. No dating or new families moving in. <br /><br />I called you once for advice because my kids were watching their dad playing women. You told me I created this, couldn't control it, but I could comment on his behavior. I took this advice and told my boys why you shouldn't act like that or sometimes why what he was doing was just fine. I just told the truth. <br /><br />The reason I am writing is that my boys are now 11th grade and 12th grade. My eldest wrote this in a card to me:<br />
<blockquote>"Thank you for always being there. If there's one person in this world that I can count on being there, it has to be you. Without the guidance and moral foundation that you have provided for my brother and me, I feel as if I might have drifted away. I appreciate you providing us insight as to how to deal with dad. Without it, my seemingly sound decisions that I would've made, that wouldn't have been good for anybody, will never happen. Thanks for being a great mom and a great individual. I mean it."</blockquote>
My kid just said he would have drifted away. Thank you Dr. Laura. I hear the listeners' voices when you tell them no dating when there are minor children. The years go by fast and you just might save your kids by doing this. I have one more year and both will be in college and I too will be able to start a new adventure. My boys are excited for me as I am for them. They also know I am always available for a truthful opinion or just to listen. <br /><br />Thank you, <br /><br />A.C.
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-06-04T17:58:00Z
He Does For Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Does-For-Me/180153070535890916.html
2015-06-04T17:57:00Z
2015-06-04T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My husband, of almost 22 years, has always paid attention when it comes to what I like/want/need. From the very small and insignificant to major life concerns, he has always looked out for my best interests and has in your words "treated kindly".The specific event that solidified he was the one for me occurred several months after we started dating. I was attending my brother's wedding and he stayed behind at my home because I don't think he was invited. When I returned many hours later, he had taken it upon himself to completely detail my car. As a single girl, working two jobs and the owner of a very large and hairy dog, it was quite the mess. He used those hours to do something for me that I didn't have time to do for myself. <br /><br />He has never stopped doing these things. He calls every night as he's leaving work to ask if I need anything. He is the love of my life. <br /><br />Thank you, </p>
<p class="yiv0557230585msonormal"><span>Susan</span></p>
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"> </p>
Staff
2015-06-04T17:57:00Z
Caregiver Respite Resource
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Caregiver-Respite-Resource/988018345270959054.html
2015-06-03T17:58:00Z
2015-06-03T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dear Dr. Laura - <br /><br />I listen to you often and sometimes hear calls regarding the stress of being a caregiver. <br /><br />I work for a private non-profit and we have a program called the National Family Caregiver Support Program. We send respite workers into homes to offer just that; respite for the caregiver. This is a nationwide program and I know many of your listeners would benefit. We also have the Long Term Care Ombudsman Program also nationwide that assists families who have loved ones in long term care and need an advocate. I encourage your callers to also contact their local senior centers to find if these programs are available in their state. Thought you might want to put these on your website. <br /><br />Thanks for your time. <br /><br />Sandy</p>
Staff
2015-06-03T17:58:00Z
Too Immature for Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Too-Immature-for-Marriage/734930058090846950.html
2015-06-03T17:57:00Z
2015-06-03T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Hello! <br /><br />I heard a young woman call in and the advice you gave her was so spot-on and clear I want every high school girl to learn from it. <br /><br />This 24-year-old woman had been dating the same man since she was 17. She figured after 7 years, the next step was marriage. She brought up she had one boyfriend prior to the relationship; they had sex, and he dumped her. <br /><br />You immediately told her you questioned whether she loved the man she had been dating for 7 years; she thought she did, of course. But you pointed out she was still too immature to get married. You pointed out it was about her ego when she talked about "first love" and "he dumped me." I really don't think young women understand this. <br /><br />I got married at a "young" 21 years old and have been married to this man for 34 years. I learned the hard way I was way too young to get married. I admire my husband so much knowing that he endured this immature wife and stayed with me during all my crying and lack of self-confidence. We did date for five years prior to marriage and were good friends, which, I believe, sustained us through the hard times. I really think that young women in 2015 would divorce at the drop of a hat and I am thankful that I lived in a different time. <br /><br />Having said all that, how did you become so wise? It seems as if you have all the answers and can be so clear. Thank you for all you do to make family relationships better. <br /><br />Beth</p>
Staff
2015-06-03T17:57:00Z
My TWO Mother-in-Laws Are Amazing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-TWO-Mother-in-Laws-Are-Amazing/-447200123762871246.html
2015-06-02T17:58:00Z
2015-06-02T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />I don't have one, but two sets of incredible in-laws, due to remarriages. <br /><br />My husband's mom has treated me like a daughter since the beginning. She is a great friend and I can always be honest and open with her. Over the past 20 years, we have shared a lot of laughs, and a few tears. We talk on the phone all the time and we see each other when we are able to make the 5 hour trip. She goes out of her way on holidays to wrap way too many adorable gifts. Even though we're in our 40s, we feel like her 'kids' and she always is there for us emotionally. <br /><br />I knew she was a gem, but what grabbed my heart the most was when she made a special trip to town just for me! It was when I had surgery and would be down for a few weeks, she just said she'd be coming to help. It turns out I didn't need much help at all, but I will never forget how I was 'one of hers' and how she was, and is really here for me as much as her own two children. We absolutely love to 'go see Mom'. <br /><br />My other mother-in-law, my husband's step-mom, has also been a great joy. She and my husband's dad are super fun in-laws and keep the family together. We enjoy their company immensely, and they are way funnier than we are. They have taken us to places we never would have gone, and helped build lifelong memories we will have forever. They create special holidays and 'just because' get-togethers. They take interest in our lives and never are intrusive, yet we always know they are there for us. <br /><br />What a lucky girl I am to have been blessed by such wonderful, strong, lovely women! I hope this can inspire other in-laws to have incredible relationships with their daughter-in-laws that love their sons so much. <br /><br />Dina<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-06-02T17:58:00Z
Mistakes Parents Make
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mistakes-Parents-Make/416209079632013018.html
2015-06-02T17:57:00Z
2015-06-02T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />I, like you, only have one son. He was raised in Santa Barbara. I changed careers so I could be a stay-at-home mom until he entered 1st grade and then worked in a career that gave me flexibility. My husband also worked a schedule where we never had to leave him in a day care situation. <br /><br />Having been raised in a home with a very critical mother I decided to go the opposite direction and show my son love and lots of encouragement and praise. If I did anything "wrong" it was trying too hard to be the "perfect" mom that I always wished I had. I think too much attention to your children is also not healthy. Even though he was a very hard worker, great student and athlete and now a very successful adult, I think because of the way we raised him he is a bit self-centered. He is in a career that is very demanding and he does excellent there, but I notice he is so type A and career focused that he doesn't have as much time for his family or even himself as would be healthy. I may have inadvertently helped create an overachiever. <br /><br />I guess we all just do the best we can with the knowledge we have at the time. I think people that were raised in dysfunctional homes go the extreme one way or the other. <br /><br />Take care and keep up the good work! <br /><br />Linda </p>
Staff
2015-06-02T17:57:00Z
Silence on Violence
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Silence-on-Violence/874101710967958866.html
2015-06-01T17:58:00Z
2015-06-01T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I heard a call from a person who was returning to a marriage after experiencing domestic violence. My stomach dropped, and I was taken back to the days and nights I spent in a violent home. From the time I was 5 years old and into my teens, I watched as my father drank himself into a fury and fought with...and beat my mother in front of us kids. Sometimes, it would happen on the lawn in front of our neighbors with our own baseball bats. My brother and I would beg them to stop. We would throw ourselves into the path of the thrown beer cans and, even bricks. We called our grandparents. We called the police. We even called an ambulance on several occasions. <br /><br />We asked our mother to take us and leave. We even hid in the woods near our house until the wee hours of the morning on more than one occasion. We went to school many times after staying up all night trying to keep our parents apart until my father passed out drunk. We never spoke of it in school for fear of what would happen when my father found out. And, we were embarrassed. I learned to become a very good liar...to convince anyone who would ask that all was OK. This continued for years. <br /><br />Today, I am 52 years old. And, while I have made a good life for myself, I am still stunned that no one tried to help us. I am still confused my mother never took us out of that situation. We had aunts, uncles and grandparents. Why didn't they rescue us? I now know they were all concerned with 'keeping up appearances' even though many people knew what was happening. Silence kept us in that house for years of abuse. It was terrifying: screaming...tears...blood....broken bones. All kept under wraps right in the light of day. I recently asked my mom about why we didn't leave. She said there was no place to go...times were 'different'. <br /><br />Even to this day, I wish we had left....even to a shelter. We should have left. <br /><br />Robert</p>
Staff
2015-06-01T17:58:00Z
Keeping Mom Company
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-Mom-Company/204568290379967677.html
2015-06-01T17:57:00Z
2015-06-01T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />In about 2004 my mom died. But prior to that, one Saturday, I decided to go by her house about noon. I let myself in and there she was lying on the floor with her head bleeding. I called 911 and got her help and we talked while in the emergency room. Here's how she fell: she listened to your program on the radio late at night and got up to get some ice in a glass. When she looked up at the freezer, she got dizzy and fell down. She laid there all night until I got there the next day. She said she wasn't worried because she knew I would come there eventually, and Dr. Laura kept walking through the kitchen showing the layout of her house to a group of people with her. Her radio was on all night and you comforted her there on the floor and you didn't even know it. <br /><br />I thought you might like to know. She loved you and your show! <br /><br />Cynthia</p>
Staff
2015-06-01T17:57:00Z
A 'Gibbs' Slap to My Head
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Gibbs-Slap-to-My-Head/-383618085175095536.html
2015-05-29T17:58:00Z
2015-05-29T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I knew you were good, but I didn't know you were an eavesdropper. Recently, your opening comments were like you were talking to me!! <br /><br />I got up on Saturday, made breakfast, did ALL the laundry, vacuumed, cleaned the kitchen and all the other housework, went outside to clean up the limbs and get the yard ready to mow, went to the dump, made dinner and dessert. However, my hubby got up, ate said breakfast, and mowed the yard....the end. <br /><br />I was given a 'Gibbs' slap from you when you said I was a counter. SO... I started to think about what I was grateful for that he does for me. Among other things, he is my tech guy, my muscle man (some jars are just too much), my mechanic, and the arms that make me feel good about myself. In other words, I was an a$$. Thanks for making me see it isn't all about ME, ME, ME. I went home that day and told my hubby how proud I am of him and SHOWED him how I was his girlfriend. HEEHEEHEE <br /><br />Thanks Dr. Laura, from a now ex-self-absorbed a$$, <br /><br />Mary </p>
Staff
2015-05-29T17:58:00Z
Tough Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Tough-Love/-761822082499019529.html
2015-05-29T17:57:00Z
2015-05-29T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />My daughter was addicted to cocaine. She was making a great salary as an accountant, but that wasn't enough to support her habit. She was arrested for stealing blank checks from her job and that's when I found out her problem. By this time she was on her own and 34 years old. She says, she didn't get addicted until she was 23. I decided I COULD NOT get her out of the mess she created, and also, I WOULD NOT! She went to prison, not jail for a period of 18 months. She had to pay restitution to her old employer which took her about three 3 years. <br /><br />At the age of 37, she was married. A year later, she had twin sons who are graduating from high school and going on to community college. And she's been 20 years clean and sober. I am so proud of her, but I'm also proud of my decision for making this her problem. And she passed with flying colors! She can be proud of herself and her children just as I am!! <br /><br />Raye</p>
Staff
2015-05-29T17:57:00Z
The Devastating Price of 'Happiness'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Devastating-Price-of-Happiness/278347535322509404.html
2015-05-28T17:58:00Z
2015-05-28T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />After listening to a call from a man whose wife wanted to leave him because she was "unhappy", I feel compelled to write. <br /><br />I was "unhappy" because my husband of 20 years was not communicative. He didn't know how to deal with my feelings of sadness and grief over a series of painful losses in my life unrelated to him or our kids. I too thought the only way out was divorce. I rationalized that somehow my kids would be happier if I was happier. This faulty logic resulted in the biggest mistake of my life and an ongoing tragedy for my kids. <br /><br />I was in therapy at the time and was advised by my female therapist I "deserved" to get my needs met. She told me kids are resilient and would bounce back from a divorce. BS. This was terrible advice, but I take full responsibility for my choice to leave. At the time, our 4 kids were 6, 9, 12 and 15 years old. I did not look down the road to see the longer term consequences of what life would be like as a divorced person. All I cared about, selfishly, was my own happiness. <br /><br />Fast forward 8 years and I can say the following things about what I did not anticipate: All 4 of my children have suffered tremendously as a result of the divorce: my oldest became a father at age 19 and while he married his girlfriend, he has shouldered immense responsibility at a very young age in an attempt to replace the family he lost. My second oldest son dropped out of college and developed extreme social anxiety and is now in therapy. My daughter started cutting herself at age 14 to deal with her pain. My youngest son is unable to attend high school. He suffers from crippling migraine headaches and other health problems, including depression. <br /><br />My ex-husband has been dating one of my former friends for the last 6 years. She has a significant influence over our kids' lives. Holidays, birthdays and other big events are complicated with a fractured family. Instead of gratitude and togetherness, we all have to deal with resentment, sadness and disconnect. <br /><br />We are grateful for things like health and financial well-being, but our hearts are fragmented. The swath of devastation left in the wake of my deciding I wasn't happy and needed to leave is far reaching and will continue in the generations to come. I never anticipated I would be in the position of having my 5-year-old grandson ask me, "Grandma, why do you and Grampa not live together? Why don't you love him anymore?" My heart breaks in writing this, but whatever pain I have now, is nothing compared to the pain I inflicted on my family because I was simply "unhappy". I urge wives who are considering divorce to think 10 years, 20 years and more down the line. The price of pursuing happiness was devastating, not only to me, but my family. I sincerely hope that in sharing my mistake, it may help someone else. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />R.</p>
Staff
2015-05-28T17:58:00Z
Caregiver Advice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Caregiver-Advice/-339123258024850128.html
2015-05-28T17:57:00Z
2015-05-28T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />While I am not a caregiver for anyone, I am a hospice volunteer and so have contact with the families and caregivers on a daily basis. I can see when the caregivers are starting to feel the pressure of the demands of their situation and I step in and do what I can. <br /><br />The most important advice I can offer is to allow yourself to have a break from the situation, even if only a few hours. Hire a sitter to come, or if money is tight, perhaps ask a friend or neighbor if they would come sit. Even something as simple as getting a change of scenery, treating yourself to a mani/pedi, makes such a world of difference in your outlook. And DO NOT FEEL GUILTY for getting overwhelmed with the situation. It is a demanding job physically and emotionally, and the best thing you can do is take care of yourself first and foremost. If you don't, you won't be any good to anybody! <br /><br />Susan</p>
Staff
2015-05-28T17:57:00Z
Caregiver Stress
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Caregiver-Stress/910039549900804059.html
2015-05-27T17:58:00Z
2015-05-27T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />Today is my 11th wedding anniversary. It's a second marriage for both of us and we both have grown children and several grandchildren. We had lots of fun dancing and traveling, until shortly after 8 years of marriage, my husband got an auto immune disease and was paralyzed for close to a year. His life and mine are forever changed. We used to go out to dinner for special occasions, but because of digestive problems, we can't do that anymore. So I made a nice dinner with food he could eat and I told him I love being his wife. He gave me a card that made me cry, saying he wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for me. <br /><br />I can't leave him for long, but I go to the gym every day, visit my grandchildren once a month, and knit for a charity group. I love this man more than ever. I try to show appreciation, and remind him how much he has progressed. It helps that he has a good attitude even with this awful disease... <br /><br />For better or worse, <br /><br />Karen</p>
Staff
2015-05-27T17:58:00Z
I Was a Selfish Young Woman
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Was-a-Selfish-Young-Woman/-665764518975702421.html
2015-05-27T17:57:00Z
2015-05-27T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I came across you on SiriusXM radio in January of this year. I so wish I had heard your advice 30 years ago, and the wisdom to listen to it, before I got married at 20 and had my son at 22. <br /><br />I know there are many women that listen to you and say to themselves "Oh, but MY story is DIFFERENT" or "I can make this work" or some other lie. I am here to say I have personally done every single thing you have said to NOT do in my life. In the process, I have caused so much damage to the people I have loved the most by being a selfish young woman. <br /><br />I have a son that is 28 years old by my first husband, who was physically and sexually abusive to me. I should have divorced him after the first month of marriage, but I was ashamed and instead brought my wonderful son into a world of complete chaos. He has had 2 step-fathers and 2 step-mothers, 6 step-brothers, 1 half-brother and 1 half-sister. He has attempted suicide at least twice. I hope your listeners heard "ATTEMPTED SUICIDE". That should make some people listen. <br /><br />I have 3 step-sons from my second marriage that I love very much and they love me, but when I left their father who had physically abused me and no longer had access to them, I now know how very much I hurt them, especially since their own mother had abandoned them 6 years earlier. The youngest was damaged in more ways than I can possibly explain. He is a drunk and does not work. He has a mildly disabled young daughter and is going through a divorce. He never learned how to function in a healthy family. <br /><br />I have 3 step-sons from my current husband of almost 16 years. They are all three smart, healthy, well-adjusted young men. We had them all half of the time, up until they each graduated from high school. Even though their parents were divorced, they had more stability than most children of broken homes. However, I can clearly see the damage that has occurred by them not having a stern father in the house with them. They are adept at twisting and manipulating situations, lying, not "being a man" and honoring their word. These behaviors did not surface until after high school. Had I not married their father, they may have had a much different home life and certainly would have had much more of their father's time and attention. <br /><br />ALL of the above children were raised in day cares and after-school programs. <br /><br />I have accepted my responsibility in all this and it makes me very sick and sad. I can't change my past, but maybe someone will read this and it will make them DO THE RIGHT THING. Thank you and keep up the good work.<br /><br />Rhonda <br /><br />P.S. I don't consider a shove or a mutual physical fight as "abuse". Both of my ex-husbands beat the crap out of me on multiple occasions. The second did not sexually abuse me - that's probably why I married him - because he was so much "better" than the first.</p>
Staff
2015-05-27T17:57:00Z
Lost and Found
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lost-and-Found/482448956779833000.html
2015-05-26T17:58:00Z
2015-05-26T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />Recently, you spoke to a woman who lost her $3000 camera on a trip. At the end of the conversation, you stated you would have told her to check lost and found, but really (and I paraphrase here), what would be the odds of someone actually turning something in? I have a story that may bring to you a smile and some restored faith of the good in people. <br /><br />Last year, I took a yearly vacation to a large water park with my sister and our 2 granddaughters. When we got home, I realized my camera bag and camera were not to be found. The camera was much less expensive than your caller's at $300, but the photos on the camera were priceless! I was so disappointed the camera was lost, most likely at the park. I "knew" it was gone forever. The odds of someone turning it in being slim to none. <br /><br />Two weeks later, I received a phone call from the water park. Someone had found my camera and bag laying in a chair, and turned it in to lost and found! It was then I remembered... The day I received the camera, as a gift from my husband, I had put my name and phone number in the smallest pocket! Not only had someone turned the camera in, but 3 SD Cards, extra batteries AND the $20 bill I had in the bag were all still there! I was ecstatic! The park mailed my camera back to me at no charge, with a voucher for the cash. <br /><br />I also had thought there was no way someone would turn anything of value in to lost and found. I now know differently! <br /><br />I wish you a wonderful day and a smile! <br /><br />Karen </p>
Staff
2015-05-26T17:58:00Z
Rushed Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Rushed-Love/-489082607833821725.html
2015-05-26T17:57:00Z
2015-05-26T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />When it comes to love, I did everything you tell us not to!! I dated a man who has a child from a previous marriage. I was engaged after two weeks of dating, pregnant in three months of meeting and married in six months. If that was not enough, we made one more child as fast as we could. <br /><br />We have gone through so much in our marriage. Life is hard. It's been almost 5 years and already I see patterns in our marriage that if we do not address will make us another statistic. It took all this to realize you were right. I know I cannot fix everything we did wrong, but I can listen to you and re-read your books so I can do the best I can for our family. Every day I will make my husband happy and raise my children to be productive, contributing people. <br /><br />Thank you for your wisdom... I only wish I had really listened to you better. <br /><br />A stay-at-home mom</p>
Staff
2015-05-26T17:57:00Z
It Seeps Out as Teenagers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Seeps-Out-as-Teenagers/-834304572709432240.html
2015-05-21T17:58:00Z
2015-05-21T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />I am a single, divorced woman at 42 years of age with no kids and I've made an interesting observation... A large percentage of my same-age girlfriends with children who divorced their kids' Dad and subsequently dated multiple men or remarried and had new children would often tell me during those years how "resilient" their kids were and how amazing their kids were being during all the changes and upheaval in their young lives. <br /><br />These women are now experiencing major stress and trauma with these same "resilient" children that are now teenagers. It seems to start around age 14. The problems include drug use, suicide attempts, skipping class in high school, running away, dropping out of college, cursing out their parents, DUIs, stealing, etc. <br /><br />On the other hand, a large percentage of my same-age girlfriends with children who have remained married to their kids' Dad or focused intently on parenting and did not date or party after a divorce, do NOT have these kinds of problems with their teenagers. They have the usual sullen, pouty teenager who occasionally rebels and comes in past their curfew, but NONE of the traumatic experiences listed above. Hmmm....what could possibly be the common denominator here?? <br /><br />Cher</p>
Staff
2015-05-21T17:58:00Z
I Found My Old Friend
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Found-My-Old-Friend/838991574425380717.html
2015-05-21T17:57:00Z
2015-05-21T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My mom would listen to your show when I was younger, but back then as a young teenager I didn't need any of your advice, because if I wasn't an all-knowing teenager then I was un-caring one. But as I grew and I left the too-well-built and sheltered nest, real life introduced itself to me and the hardships began. So when I came across your radio show one fateful summer afternoon it was like hearing advice from an old friend who you now realize really did know what they were talking about. I religiously listened to your show and shared much of your advice with those I knew. I was repeatedly complemented for my wisdom, to which I immediately endorsed you and your radio show. Then you were off my radio station. I can honestly say there was a void when I realized I wouldn't be able to listen to you anymore. <br /><br />As it does, life moves on and so did I. Then last summer I rented a truck that had XM radio. I was channel surfing and I found you again! I don't exaggerate when I say I hollered aloud at the sound of your voice! It may not surprise you I listened to your show again in its entirety before going back to work. You are going to get me in trouble one of these days. <br /><br />Thank you for not only doing your job, but for doing it well. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />James</p>
Staff
2015-05-21T17:57:00Z
Homeward Bound
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Homeward-Bound/852246258036602084.html
2015-05-20T17:57:00Z
2015-05-20T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have listened to you for years, read your books, etc. and you have truly shaped me as a parent. I have a wonderful husband and 4 amazing children and we raise them on the principles you've taught, but that's a letter for another time. <br /><br />Our 2 youngest sons have been in the <a href="http://www.taabc.org" target="_blank">All-American Boys Chorus</a> which also upholds the Dr. Laura-approved values of discipline and self-reliance. Being part of the chorus family is almost like stepping back into Andy Griffith's Mayberry. It refreshing in today's complex world to have our family values reinforced within such a quality group - the young boys and early teens all call me Mrs. Bell, offering lots of pleases, thank yous and "How can I help you, Mrs. Bell" as part of the chorus' culture. At any rate, the boys chorus is part of a new music video, "Homeward Bound". <br /><br />The men in the video are from the award winning a cappella group <a href="http://www.byuvocalpoint.com" target="_blank">Brigham Young University's Vocal Point</a>. When they combine musical forces with boys chorus the results are heavenly - like angels singing. Here's the <a href="https://goo.gl/KXeOHQ" target="_blank">short link</a>. <br /><br />Turn up the sound, and Enjoy! <br /><br />Mrs. Bell</p>
Staff
2015-05-20T17:57:00Z
Poem From a Son
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Poem-From-a-Son/120774480763821762.html
2015-05-20T17:56:00Z
2015-05-20T17:56:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal">Your comment regarding the note you received from Deryk and the closeness the two of you share prompted me to send you a copy of the poem my son - a major in the Air Force sent me when my birthday card didn't arrive on time. Carmen<br /><br />I will treasure this always <br />You are the best so don't feel forlorn <br />For we also rejoice in the day you were born <br />You are so thoughtful, devoted and strong <br />Expressing great love in your heart we belong<br /> I am the luckiest son on this wondrous marble of blue <br />I thank God every day for my life emerging from you.<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-05-20T17:56:00Z
He Thinks My Stretch Marks Are Sexy!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Thinks-My-Stretch-Marks-Are-Sexy!/-365785538593376255.html
2015-05-19T17:58:00Z
2015-05-19T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal">Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am a mother of 4 kids, but had 2 miscarriages, so I was pregnant a total of 6 times! As you can imagine, my stomach is "scratched up." My husband knows how self-conscious I am about my stomach and yet he's constantly reminding me that to him my stomach is the sexiest stomach in the world, because it carried his babies. Yes, I have a great man! <br /><br />He called me about an hour ago from work and said: "Check your email! I sent you something." <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_0DJzZbhfw" target="_blank">This is the video he sent me</a>. It made me laugh, but more importantly it made me realize even more what an incredible man I have as a husband, and my children have as a father. <br /><br />Love you for all you do, Dr. Laura! You're the greatest! <br /><br />Best, <br /><br />Berna</p>
Staff
2015-05-19T17:58:00Z
Poor Eaters
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Poor-Eaters/791143962909526398.html
2015-05-19T17:57:00Z
2015-05-19T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal">I have 3 grown children. My 2 boys are still poor eaters. My girl was a healthy eater from the beginning. I thought I tried everything, but had little to no success. <br /><br />My youngest boy is special needs so getting across to him WHY he needs to eat healthy is challenging. HOWEVER, I have given up sort of on explaining why and cajoling and cook everything for him out of ground turkey and ground up/pulverized vegetables. I make turkey burgers, turkey tacos, turkey meat loaf, turkey burritos, turkey pizza, turkey chili....well you get the picture. Each of these items is lean ground turkey mixed with ground up broccoli, onions, tomatoes, squash, bell pepper, green beans, spinach...you just about name the vegetable and he gets it in his food. I've been doing this a year and his behavior is MASSIVELY better. He's lost 20 pounds, also. <br /><br />Since he's special needs the key to this is I freeze the food in serving-size portions. And I keep the freezer full. When he's hungry he can't wait to eat, so it's right there, ready to be heated. It has worked for us. I wish he would eat the real vegetables but honestly, at 63 years of age, I'm tired of fighting that battle. This is easier than fighting and it's working! <br /><br />Mary Lee </p>
Staff
2015-05-19T17:57:00Z
Parent vs Teacher in Public School
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parent-vs-Teacher-in-Public-School/642726583808662774.html
2015-05-18T17:58:00Z
2015-05-18T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dearest Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Thank you for being via your Podcast my workout buddy, and for filling my commute time with thought, information and joy. Thanks for making me chuckle sometimes, too: your laughter is very contagious. <br /><br />I am in my 22nd year of teaching music in public school, 25 years of teaching in total. I am rather conservative in my political and social views. I direct 500 mostly very sweet middle school kids in 3 huge choirs, and I love it. Most of the parents I deal with are wonderfully polite and supportive, too: I am very blessed. I hardly even get any complaints for having the kids sing Christmas and Hanukkah music in December! <br /><br />Still, now and then, I run into a parent to whom I wish I could say, "Call Dr. Laura. She'll try to prevent you from doing further damage to your kid." Case in point: this past week, after dismissing two disrespectful boys to the office in an unusually rowdy class, a third boy loudly and sarcastically called out: "Can I go, too?" "Yes, you may," I calmly replied. The boy sat still and smiled at me. "Go ahead," I said. "Get up and go to the office." The boy remained still. Only after I threatened to call a principal to escort him to the office a total bluff on my part: they are way too busy to come down to my room for this, did he exit my room. I continued to try to teach a lesson on Sonata Form in a Mozart Symphony. <br /><br />Ten minutes later, the boy peeked back into my doorway. "You haven't gone to the office yet?" I asked. The boy shook his head. "I emailed the principals," I explained. "They're expecting you. You're cutting class, now..." Then, and only then, did he finally do as I'd directed and proceed to the office. There he received a "talking to" from a vice-principal. <br /><br />After school, I decided to call said student's mother. I offered her the same reasonably dispassionate narrative that I've offered you. Her response to me was a hysterical tirade in which she compared me to the authoritarian teachers in the communist country of her origin. She accused me of being interested only in power and control. At one point she screamed: "What you have done to this boy has caused a physical reaction in me!" She ended her verbal assault on my character and professionalism by warning me that she would be calling my principal. <br /><br />To organize my thoughts, I wrote a letter of rebuttal to her which my principal will probably not allow me to send since such written responses must go through him, and which is unlikely to do her or the child much good anyway. But I thought you might enjoy a few excerpts, Dr. Laura. I have changed the child's highly unusual name to "Jack" for his privacy: <br /><br /></p>
<blockquote>"Unlike you, I was lucky enough to grow up in a wonderfully free society: the USA. But back then, even in this very free place, students did not interrupt teachers, call out with unsolicited sarcastic remarks, or refuse to leave a classroom when dismissed to the office. To do so would have meant an automatic suspension. Am I correct that Jack did not even receive a detention today? Had I acted like this in school even once, my very libertarian, very anti-communist, very American parents would not have yelled at my teacher in an uncivil, hysterical manner; they would have taken me to task. How things have changed! I know my parents wanted me to be an all-American free spirit, too, but this did not include liberty to sass teachers, especially when those teachers were already clearly razzed and struggling to maintain order in a classroom. <br /><br />...I repeat my assertion that my sensibilities about poor student behavior mean nothing to Jack compared to your sensibilities. You're his mother, I'm only a teacher that he'll see roughly ten more times before he leaves for High School. You're everything to him; I'm nobody. No need to worry about my impeding his evolution as a free spirit - he'll take his cues from you. But I won't guarantee that I'll tolerate rudeness, even if you and Jack characterize it as a joke. <br /><br />...Please understand that I don't want to interfere in your teaching Jack what is right and wrong, and what constitutes real and meaningful freedom. If you feel he should be free to call out with sarcastic jokes in the middle of a tense classroom situation in which a teacher has already countenanced an unacceptable level of rudeness from a class, then it's your prerogative to teach him this. If you feel he should be free to refuse teachers' directives to go to the office, and wander school halls unsupervised for 10 minutes, then it's your prerogative to teach him this. I guessed incorrectly that you might want to teach him otherwise; hence, my phone call. If you do let him know his choices today were OK with you, then I will have to resign myself to expecting these behaviors from Jack again. That ball is totally in your court, not mine. I encourage you to follow up with our principal, as you said you would. Good luck to you and Jack as he enters High School and beyond!"</blockquote>
<br /><br />Did I mention that part of the reason I love my job is that it's never boring? <br /><br />Very Truly Yours, <br /><br />Bob
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-05-18T17:58:00Z
Doomed Marriages
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Doomed-Marriages/-747903101249317543.html
2015-05-18T17:57:00Z
2015-05-18T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />The things that doomed my marriage from the get go was a long distance engagement after a short courtship because I was finishing college. I did all the traveling between us and we saw each other once or twice a month as I was a Resident Assistant in the dorm. I never really got to know him. <br /><br />On our honeymoon train ride from Omaha to Los Angeles, he spent all day reading a James Michener novel in the dome car and told me to come get him for meals. I rode silently and watched the scenery. He was a wham bam thank you, ma'am kind of guy and would rather watch television than talk to me. Then he went to law school at night and worked all day. He ate breakfast while I bagged his lunch and dinner. We had two fabulous children born during the law school years. He was good with them intellectually after they were old enough to communicate, but it was a very lonely 29 years for me. Fortunately I was a stay-at-home mom and for the first 17 years I was a dedicated wife and mother. Then I began to suffer from the stress of the marriage and finally left after 29 years of trying. I had hoped things would change after the children went to college, but it got worse when he became more critical. I was always on the witness stand because he was determined to win all arguments. <br /><br />After I left, my horrible nightmares and skin rashes ceased. <br /><br />Leila </p>
Staff
2015-05-18T17:57:00Z
Adults Need to Set the Example
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Adults-Need-to-Set-the-Example/-72584078943912210.html
2015-05-15T17:58:00Z
2015-05-15T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />The other day I took my 4-year-old son to the mall to get in some play time in their play area. It was a rainy day and I figured this would be a great way for us to get out of the house and get some exercise. Many other parents thought the same as the place was packed with happy kids running around and finding new friends to play with. <br /><br />As I was watching my son play with one of his new found "friends" in the play area we both looked up to hear a mom screaming "Hey!" to another mom. She continued to scream at the other mother who apparently hadn't been watching her child in the play boat as the screaming mother's child had gotten hurt. Might I add there were several kids in this play boat and the screaming mom had not been watching her own child, but rather scrolling through her phone. The two mothers continued to get into a confrontation, yelling in each other's face all the while the kids were fine physically. The play area got really quite as the others looked upon these two mothers fighting and getting out of control over a minor disagreement while their innocent young children looked at them with fear in their eyes. How do these moms not understand they set the example? <br /><br />And we wonder why our children have such a problem with bullying. <br /><br />Thank you for all you do, I am my kids' mom. <br /><br />Starr </p>
Staff
2015-05-15T17:58:00Z
Update on China and Babies
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Update-on-China-and-Babies/538444559311142683.html
2015-05-15T17:57:00Z
2015-05-15T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I'm listening to you in China via podcast. I listen to you all over the world! You are my travel buddy. I teach Business/English at a university in Nanchang, China. <br /><br />I wanted to give you the update on China's one child policy. As of 2012, families here can have two children if both parents are only children. There are a lot of families out and about with two little ones now. Most moms we know don't raise their children. Either grandparents or day cares do. Very sad indeed. In China, the government doesn't "get people" if they have more than one child. If local Chinese people here don't follow the rules about having children, then they will get fined and the government will not support their children with education and such. Foreign people can have as many children as they wish, even if they are married to a local person. They just can't rely on the government for money to raise the child. <br /><br />Before Mao, families usually had around 10 to 12 children, since they were mostly farmers. Mao changed the rules because the country couldn't support that many people. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Paula</p>
Staff
2015-05-15T17:57:00Z
Toddlers That Don't Nap
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Toddlers-That-Dont-Nap/-859336221332701214.html
2015-05-14T17:58:00Z
2015-05-14T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dear Mama Laura, <br /><br />I heard the call from the frustrated mother whose child would not nap. I was so thankful to hear you telling her that you can't make someone go to sleep and I wanted to share my story. <br /><br />I also had a child who would not nap. I spent many hours being frustrated just like your caller. It did not help that my friends also pushed me to get my child to nap so I could have time to myself. I will never forget the glorious day I talked to my pediatrician and he said exactly what you told the caller. In addition he stated some kids are not nappers. Forcing them is a waste of energy and just an unnecessary power struggle. In addition, he said I would find my child would sleep better and earlier. He was so right about this! After I stopped forcing him to nap he started falling asleep earlier and me and my adorable hubby got some extra time together!! It was glorious!!! <br /><br />Another tip to add is from an older mom who gave me the best advice in entertaining my toddler during "down time". She told me to buy a few things at garage sales and put them in buckets. These buckets ONLY come out during down time and the buckets rotated. This created an extra excitement that made me less appealing to my kids during these times. It was genius! <br /><br />And lastly, you are my one and only mom, and because of you I turned out fine. Thank you so very much! And my non-napping toddler is now 13!! He is turning out pretty darn good too. You would really enjoy him. In fact the other day, I asked "Who would be a better mom than me?" Being a smarty pants, he turned without missing a beat and said "Dr. Laura". Hahahaha! <br /><br />Monica </p>
Staff
2015-05-14T17:58:00Z
Teenagers That Need Extra Supervision
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teenagers-That-Need-Extra-Supervision/-337700173498075559.html
2015-05-14T17:57:00Z
2015-05-14T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />When I heard your advice to a parent to give more supervision to a teenager using drugs, it reminded me of an experience I had many years ago while teaching high school.One of my students asked to come in at the lunch hour to catch up on school work and raise his grade. I was always happy to help my students do that. I had to sign the time he arrived and left for his parents. As we chatted, I found out he had gotten into trouble with drugs. His parents decided he needed their full supervision. They dropped him off at the beginning of school, picked him up at the beginning of lunch, dropped him off at the end of lunch, and picked him up at the end of the school day. They told him living in their home was a privilege that he needed to earn. He was living in a tent in the backyard, trying to earn his way back into the home. I was so amazed by his parents. I told him he was fortunate to have parents that cared enough to help him get his life back on the right track. He was in total agreement. I learned you need to do what it takes to get your child's attention. If you need to go to extreme measures, then do it. Kudos to those parents! <br /><br />Thank you, <br /><br />Marjorie </p>
Staff
2015-05-14T17:57:00Z
Kids Come Before New Love Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Kids-Come-Before-New-Love-Life/890324805814485925.html
2015-05-13T17:58:00Z
2015-05-13T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dear Dr. Laura: <br /><br />Thank you for never letting off the hook those parents who put their love life ahead of the well-being of their minor children. <br /><br />My childhood was miserable because my parents married and divorced numerous times, shacked up, married people with kids, made new kids, etc. All of this nonsense affected the lives of eleven children. Somehow I prevailed, married a wonderful man and for three decades have lived the happy life I dreamed about as a kid. I use his parents as a model of marriage and family life and use my own parents as models of what NOT to do. Consequently, we created a warm, loving and safe home for our children. <br /><br />My heart goes out to those children your callers often talk about. These kids have no choice in the situations that are created for them by the adults in their lives, yet the adults are often mystified by why the children behave the way they do. It's so sad. Please continue telling parents in these scenarios that what they are doing is wrong - the well-being of kids should always come first. You're doing the right thing! <br /><br />Jo</p>
Staff
2015-05-13T17:58:00Z
Golly Gump!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Golly-Gump!/482619231287485443.html
2015-05-13T17:57:00Z
2015-05-13T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Hello Dr. Laura! <br /><br />Recently you mentioned Deryk's favorite book growing up was "Golly Gump Swallowed a Fly." I immediately ordered it online. My 1.5 year old son's favorite activity is to read books with me, all day long. Because of your advice over 10+ years of listening, I am able to do that. <br /><br />I am a stay-at-home mom and cherish every moment of it. I wake up every day at 4am to work from home. And I am done working when my son wakes up. That way we are able to spend all day learning, laughing, and playing. It can be exhausting, I won't lie, but it's worth every minute. Ok, I'll admit it, most days I nap when my son does, and that way I am able to keep up. I will add I chose kindly and treat kindly my very wonderful husband of nearly 4 years. I am his girlfriend EVERY DAY. Your advice, once digested, is not that difficult. The message is rather simple really. But I can see how hurdles can appear for some. Overanalyzing, being critical, putting too much stock in our own feelings than those of others, it is all too easy to mess up. But in the end, I have realized with your help, that what you reap, you sow. Be kind. Be honest. Be present. And the rest seems to fall into place. <br /><br />Thank you so much Dr. Laura. You are a blessing. Now time to go read! <br /><br />Cheers, <br /><br />Erin</p>
Staff
2015-05-13T17:57:00Z
Navigating Through a Committed Relationship
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Navigating-Through-a-Committed-Relationship/57614357793407868.html
2015-05-12T17:58:00Z
2015-05-12T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I'd like to be upfront and say there is a lot about which I do not agree with you, but that is okay because I believe we should be tolerant of our different viewpoints. That being said, I am a big supporter of your frank, honest and blunt feedback you offer your listeners. <br /><br />I am in my second marriage and this month celebrate 10 years with my husband. There have been many times during our union that I have fallen in and out of love with him. I am almost 58, he is 12 years older, and his sex drive is waning. I have contemplated leaving and living out some fantasy life many times. I have not acted on impulse. Often I imagine moving back home or escaping to Europe... I wonder what my life would be like without him. He is a devoted and loving husband with two grown kids, but is like many men, not a good relationship communicator. Your insights have helped me understand men do not think like women and this is normal and okay. <br /><br />I just wanted to let you know that I have done some deep analysis of my behaviors and I believe that the advice you've offered has caused me to look within and realize what a wonderful life I really have. I see now our home is refuge. It represents the work we have put into our relationship and I couldn't imagine leaving this sweet, kind and loving man. He has his flaws but don't we all? <br /><br />The little chicklets that call you bitching about their husband after 6 months of marriage need to turn off the Kardashians and focus on what they have. Life and relationships are precious and after the glitter, gloss and superficial crap has tarnished, the beautiful patina of a life built for each other begins to shine through. You have helped reinforce the foundation of my marriage. I can now be a part of another, deep and substantial stage of life thanks to your straight talk, honesty and no-bullshit approach. My second marriage and his third are going to be a success story, thanks in large part to your direct, to the point advice and insight. I am very grateful for that, even if you don't like our president! LOLOL <br /><br />Thank you, <br /><br />Jane</p>
Staff
2015-05-12T17:58:00Z
What a Wonderful Mom, Mary
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-a-Wonderful-Mom,-Mary/-852573901601813255.html
2015-05-12T17:57:00Z
2015-05-12T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal">When Mary, her husband, and their five boys moved in next door to my family, (I am one of 12 children), her home immediately became the gathering place for all of the 33 children who lived on our block. Everyone wanted to be over at Mary's house. <br /><br />My mom worked all day and when she came home she would often get drunk. I always felt good when I was over at Mary's home. Mary was a great cook and her home was always filled with freshly baked cookies, cakes, cinnamon rolls, and homemade fudge. I can't tell you how many times I would purposely wander next door to Mary's to get an afternoon snack. There never was enough food at my home because my real mom would use it for booze, but I always knew there was something wonderful in the oven or on the table at Mary's home. Mary would laugh, sit me down, and she would fill my plate with her latest creation.<br /><br />Mary had always wanted a girl and my sisters and I and the other neighborhood girls became her daughters. She was an accomplished seamstress and would sew dresses, skirts, pajamas, blouses for us. She would cut and style and curl our hair when needed. She took me, along with other neighbor kids, to the YMCA on Friday nights with her boys to go swimming. During the summer she took us on picnics at the nearby park. Mary would let us tag along when she took her boys to the local pool on hot summer days and then get ice cream at the local Dairy Queen. She played all sorts of games with us like Spoon, Hearts, and board games like Monopoly and Risk. We played kickball in her backyard and softball in her front yard and Mary never seemed to mind that the grass quit growing. <br /><br />After school, Mary helped us with our homework; we would sit down next to her boys at her kitchen table and she would help all of us. Over the years a well-worn path between our house and hers became the evidence of the deep love between our families. <br /><br />Did I mention that Mary's husband died when the boys were still very young? She lost the love of her life and she never remarried. Life was not easy then for her, but she never lost her smile, her hearty laugh and I never once heard her complain. She had to go to work to support her five boys, but she never gave up. Mary took a job at our school in the cafeteria. She still made sure we had enough to eat even when we didn't have any money. Mary is 90 years young now and is still very active volunteering several days a week in the gift shop at one of our local hospitals. I often think of how different I might have turned out had it not been for the interest, time, and most of all, the love Mary showed me. Praise God, Mary's door was never locked and neither was her heart. <br /><br />Mary Anne <br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-05-12T17:57:00Z
My Best Childhood Memory
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Best-Childhood-Memory/490118900624064936.html
2015-05-11T17:58:00Z
2015-05-11T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />I was the youngest of 6 targets that were convenient for our "mom and dad" to beat on. Mom was the queen and still believes her children are servants. Any excuse to pull out the belt, willow branches, Hot Wheels tracks, bare hands, or anything that was handy or not yet tried, were used on our bare behinds over a chair. The reasons could be as simple as one of us sneezing too loud. I did that only once. "Dad" died of lung cancer when I was 5. <br /><br />At age 11, I remember vividly vomiting blood for three days, but I tried hiding it from my "mom" thinking I would get in trouble. One night I got up feeling sick again. I vomited and passed out from losing so much blood. I woke up in the hospital the next day. I guess all that chaos and fear caused a bleeding ulcer in my stomach. <br /><br />While the nurse was changing my sheets, she saw blood and found the open wounds from the last few beatings on my backside and lower back. A policeman came and talked to me. I remember being so scared. Nothing ever came of it. The nurses and doctors all knew what was going on. I liked how nice they were to me. <br /><br />One day I was kneeling on the bed, wheeling the food tray table around because "that's what any kid would do"... I got dizzy and slipped. The food tray table went to the wall. I was bridged from my knees on the bed to the wall hanging on to the tray table. I just knew I was in big trouble. The nurse came running in and placed her arms around my chest to rescue me. Something came over me. I wrapped my arms, legs, and entire body around this nurse and could not let go. I could tell when her grasp on me went from rescuer to what a "mother's arms" should feel like. She whispered in my ear, "I am so sorry." She didn't let go either. The feel of loving caring arms was the most amazing and overwhelming feeling I could never imagine. <br /><br />Although there are other fun things I remember as a child, those arms wrapped around me, feeling what I felt for just a few moments, was my best childhood memory!! I am 53 and life has been a pretty big struggle. I constantly feel I'm not worthy. <br /><br />Thank you, Dr Laura. You are my guidance, my strength, my healer. You are truly the mother I have never had. Thank you, Mom! Because of you I have amazing depth in my marriage as well as connection with my now adult children. <br /><br />C.</p>
Staff
2015-05-11T17:58:00Z
I Would Have Been Divorced
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Would-Have-Been-Divorced/190990107325276599.html
2015-05-11T17:57:00Z
2015-05-11T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />I just finished reading "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060520620/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0060520620&linkCode=as2&tag=wwwdrlauracom-20&linkId=5AWR3PAVKGV2KTFV" target="_blank">The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</a>" and you have completely saved my home life and marriage. This book taught me how to save me from myself and become the wife and stay-at-home mom I have dreamed of being. In every section of your book, there was an example of my marriage and I have started treating my wonderful husband better. In only a few short weeks we have become closer than we have in years. Words cannot express how happy I am with my life, husband and marriage. I never thought my resentment would go away for things he did but really just don't matter. I cannot wait to read more of your books and even my husband has said he wants to buy me your whole collection because he has noticed a difference in my attitude towards him and our home life. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! Without you, I would have been divorced after one short year of marriage. <br /><br />Kyley</p>
Staff
2015-05-11T17:57:00Z
Heart and Body Are Not to be Given Lightly
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Heart-and-Body-Are-Not-to-be-Given-Lightly/794600642147345524.html
2015-05-08T17:57:00Z
2015-05-08T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal">Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was listening when you received a call from a young woman asking if, when you have a ring and a date, it was okay to have sex. <br /><br />When I was 26, I met a man and was very attracted to him. It was important for me not to jump in too fast. Also, I knew young women respond differently to sex than young men do. However, I cared very much for this man and I let my guard down. We had incredible sex which I was sure was lovemaking and it made me very vulnerable. I fell very much in love with him. Not too long after that great encounter, he moved away. It was not supposed to be permanent, he said he would be back. <br /><br />I carried this burning torch in my heart, and over the next 25 YEARS we were on and off. I tried to find another, but none measured up to what I had with him. I was never able to have a real relationship because I hoped he might return with his white horse!! I tell you this in hopes that a young woman might hear it and understand there is so much to lose. You can lose your heart and sometimes, it never comes back. Your heart and body are a treasure and they can only be given so many times. <br /><br />Lucky for me, I have found you, Dr. Laura. You have helped me realize that this was a fantasy and I am working to put this behind me. Unfortunately, I have missed so much and my chances of a quality relationship are now very limited. Thank you for all you do. You have made me a better and stronger person. <br /><br />Janie</p>
Staff
2015-05-08T17:57:00Z
Getting Hubby Home in Two Simple Texts
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Getting-Hubby-Home-in-Two-Simple-Texts/884530091969586407.html
2015-05-08T17:57:00Z
2015-05-08T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal">Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I try to practice being my husband's girlfriend every day. We have two daughters, 2 years and 8 months. Sometimes it is hard for us to connect after the girls are in bed. <br /><br />My husband has been having a particularly hard week at work so today I sent him this text. <br /><br /><strong>Me:</strong> Baby, how close are you to being home?<br /><strong>Him:</strong> I'm going to leave in a little while, what's up? <br /><br />I'm sure he was expecting me to ask him to stop at the store to grab something, or to tell him about something we needed to do when he got home. Instead I sent this... <br /><br /><strong>Me:</strong> Dang, I was hoping you were close. I was going to set the girls up with a movie and a snack and meet you in the bedroom... <br /><br />Not 30 seconds passed before he replied, "I'm leaving now." <br /><br />I know after a long, hard day at work, it takes a tiny act of flirtatiousness to get him in a great mood for us at home. He is my hero and I am glad to be his wife. Thank you for inspiring me to be my kid's mom and my hubby's girlfriend. <br /><br />B.</p>
Staff
2015-05-08T17:57:00Z
I Don't Need a Wedding Ring
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Dont-Need-a-Wedding-Ring/-230525264810723712.html
2015-05-07T17:58:00Z
2015-05-07T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal">Hello Dr. Laura,<br /><br />My "sign" that my marriage was doomed from the start was always right in front of my eyes, but I didn't see it until after almost 25 years of marriage. <br /><br />When my husband and I got married, he insisted he not have a wedding ring to "save money" because we didn't have much at that time. I had just graduated from college, he was a sergeant in the Air Force, and the most expensive thing we owned was my 13" black and white TV. For our 5-year anniversary, I insisted on a ring for him - his excuse then was he couldn't wear a ring due to his daily work with technology equipment, cables, electricity, etc. For our 10-year anniversary, I insisted again and he asked for a gold cross on a gold chain to wear around his neck instead of a ring. I stupidly bought it for him - and he wore it "religiously" and commented on it often as his symbol of our marriage. <br /><br />By the time we approached our 25-year anniversary, he would constantly tell me "I don't need a wedding ring to prove how much I love you." And it was with that, I discovered he was dating a 26-year-old co-worker which explained why he was "always working," drinking heavily and fighting with me and our 15-year-old daughter all the time. I filed for divorce - and can now look back and "clearly see" all the red flags of our marriage that he was able to sweep under the rug with flowers, pearls, expensive shoes and purses. If I suspected he was having an affair, he would scream "You're just jealous! You have a problem - go see a therapist." Yes, I was very naive, trusting, tolerant... and stupid. <br /><br />My daughter and I are now healthy, happy women and are both much wiser in our interactions with others, especially males! Thank you for your ever wonderful words of advice, warnings, blessings for solid, wonderful relationships with others - love you very much! You have changed my life - and my daughter's life for the best! <br /><br />Becky</p>
Staff
2015-05-07T17:58:00Z
The Woman Who Raised Me is No Longer...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Woman-Who-Raised-Me-is-No-Longer.../-757736330361612675.html
2015-05-07T17:57:00Z
2015-05-07T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal">Dr. Laura - <br /><br />I happened to be listening to the caller whose Mom has Parkinson's and is in a nursing home. Things happen for weird reasons, and this is one of those cases. My mom has Alzheimer's, (in her 5th year of an actual diagnosis), and she is slowly drifting away from us. She is still lucid most days, but there are times I stop and think that, one day, she isn't going to know who I am, who my children are, who my father, her husband, is. Your comments about realizing - and speaking out loud made an impact! The words that my mom is no longer the woman who raised me, and that she is in the process of dying, are helpful to put things in perspective. Do I love my mom? You better believe it! But keeping in mind I cannot change her current state, helps me to remember to make the most of the moments I have with her, rather than fighting the repetitiveness, or trying to make her more than she can be. <br /><br />As always, Dr. Laura, your comments help in smaller ways than you will ever know. Thank you for all that you do for others. <br /><br />Lynne</p>
Staff
2015-05-07T17:57:00Z
Turning Tragedy Into Triumph
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Turning-Tragedy-Into-Triumph/965191373082819765.html
2015-05-06T17:58:00Z
2015-05-06T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal">Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was listening to your show and you were talking about people coming out of tragic situations and turning the situations into triumphs. My grandfather-in-law, an 86-year-old Holocaust survivor, recently co-founded a "Holocaust Survivor Band" with another 90-year-old Holocaust survivor. They have started playing shows all over South Florida, and have gained some recent notoriety. They were invited and went to play in Las Vegas, and will be playing at the New York City Public Library soon! The New York Times picked up on their story and a wonderful little 5-minute uplifting documentary was made about their band and their "Triumph Out of Tragedy." I thought you might enjoy <a href="https://vimeo.com/121283867" target="_blank">this little video</a>, and it's only five minutes. It's guaranteed to put a smile on your face! <br /><br />Thanks for what you do, Dr. Laura! <br /><br />Michael </p>
Staff
2015-05-06T17:58:00Z
Registering Boyfriend as Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Registering-Boyfriend-as-Dad/35431260910116581.html
2015-05-06T17:57:00Z
2015-05-06T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I've been listening to you for many years. I was a stay-at-home mom until all 3 of my children went to school and then I began working at a tumbling/gymnastics facility to barter tuition for my children. I dropped them off at school and picked them up at school. My boss knew I would never miss a class party or event. <br /><br />My oldest son and daughter are now married and my youngest son is still in college. They have attended college, married people of integrity and now support themselves. I have also been married to their father for 36 years. <br /><br />My frustration is with the mothers who call to register their children for classes at the gymnastics facility. Most times their names are not the same as the child's name...even when enrolling in our 18 month - 3-year-old parent participation class. That has been a trend for many years, but now, they are listing their boyfriends as the child's father. These boyfriends are not even the bio-dad just a shack-up honey. It's very disturbing to me these precious children are being subjected to these men. I sat on the child welfare board in my county for 5 years and raised money for foster kids and I know the shack-up boyfriend is often the abuser to the child. In my small county in the last 2 years at least 2 boyfriends have killed the children of their girlfriend. I wonder when it will stop being cool to screw everything that moves and bring children into the world with no fathers in the home. <br /><br />Thank you for listening. Continue with your good work even when most people think it's so uncool!! <br /><br />Loraine</p>
Staff
2015-05-06T17:57:00Z
Standing Up to My Feminist Mother-in-Law
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Standing-Up-to-My-Feminist-Mother-in-Law/-267292816224948579.html
2015-05-05T17:58:00Z
2015-05-05T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My husband and I called you and I was so surprised at what you were telling me I am sorry to say I was not intently listening. I was waiting for you to really "give it" to my hubby for not handling his mom! I was the stay-at-home mom with the feminist mother-in-law. I "felt" personally attacked by her whenever she gave her strong opinions about everything. <br /><br />I listened to my call on your podcast over and over again, since I wasn't really listening the first time and every single thing you said was true. I had never been confident in any decision I had ever made! Not even when I KNEW it was the BEST and RIGHT thing to do! You went on to point out that working moms who use day care, nannies and babysitters "venomously hate stay-at-home moms because the stay-at-home moms are pointing out that they are wrong." You are so right on!!! I should never take my mother-in-law's opinions about anything personally. Especially when I know with confidence that my children have a real mommy. I wouldn't trade my job as a mommy for anything in the world because I get to be there for everything: smooches, hugs, making lunches, sick days, bath-time, soccer games, questions about life, dance recitals and getting to make yummy dinners that my hubby and children LOVE! The definition of domestic is being devoted to home life! Wow! How blessed am I to be a part of my children's light speed childhood!!!! <br /><br />I know now that my mother-in-law smelled blood, meaning she could tell I was weak and that I wanted to please her. I will not be frustrated any longer thanks to you! I'll do what you said and be sweet, kind and combat her strong opinions with, "Thank you for your opinion, but this is what I decided and it is what is best for us!" <br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, for helping me to grow a pair! <br /><br />Love, <br /><br />Karin</p>
Staff
2015-05-05T17:58:00Z
Warranting All Electronics Removed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Warranting-All-Electronics-Removed/526666312284519625.html
2015-05-05T17:57:00Z
2015-05-05T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />I heard your comment to a mother regarding a teen's lack of need for a cell phone and I decided I had to share an incident we had. <br /><br />A couple years ago, my husband and I took in my cousin who was just a year older than our daughter 17 and 16, respectively. Initially, we provided her with the same luxuries as our daughter, but after finding out my cousin was using the cell phone, laptop and iPod to connect to the Internet and send sexually inappropriate content texts, video chats, etc. to men she didn't know, we took all her possible Internet access away from her. She responded by going to school the next day and causing such a fuss the school contacted the state to question her placement with us. <br /><br />When we spoke with the school, we found out not only did her case worker vouch for us, but the school actually asked my husband, "What could she have possibly done that would warrant all of her electronics to be taken away?" The school went over the case worker's head to their supervisor. We were dumbfounded! This was just the final straw! We immediately contacted the state and told them to come pick her up. <br /><br />She is now 20 years old, living with her drug-addicted boyfriend and 33 weeks pregnant. Another child for the state to raise. My husband said, if she were to knock on our door asking for help, we would open the door, take the baby, and shut the door. Thank you, Dr. Laura! Christine <br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura! <br /><br />Christine</p>
Staff
2015-05-05T17:57:00Z
Blown Away by His Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Blown-Away-by-His-Love/-558007047248896889.html
2015-05-04T17:58:00Z
2015-05-04T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Yesterday, I went for a 6 mile hike with a 2000 ft. elevation gain. I was to text my husband when I made it to the top to let him know when I would be home for breakfast. Shortly after I texted him, I fell and messed up my knee pretty bad. I didn't want to alarm him so I texted "Slight Delay". I tied up my knee and hopped my way back down the mountain. <br /><br />After I got home and my husband hugged me and ran for ice. He said, "You know if you had told me, I would have ran up there and carried you down." The thing is, my MAN would have driven himself and all three kids all the way up to the trailhead, and then my MAN would have hiked all the way up to the summit with three young kids in hand, and my MAN would have carried me all the way back down just to keep me safe. I am blown away by the love he shows me every day because he is MY MAN and I am his adoring wife. <br /><br />You have changed my life in so many ways and I won't bore with you the sorted details of my past. All that matters is I am my kids' mother, and my MAN's adoring wife. Thank you and your peeps for all that you do. <br /><br />Juliana</p>
Staff
2015-05-04T17:58:00Z
Positive Ideals
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Positive-Ideals/328366729232508528.html
2015-05-04T17:57:00Z
2015-05-04T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Mother's Day is a very appropriate time for me to thank you for your life-changing advice that has enriched our lives. I am incredibly grateful my husband frequently listened at work to your program 25 years ago! With your advocating in mind, he mapped out our budget for me to be stay-at-home mom once our new baby arrived. <br /><br />My own mother had been a working mom, and I had never imagined myself in a different role. Being my daughter's mom became my best job ever! While simultaneously demanding and enriching, it was a life-changing experience in many ways. First, I have great memories of spending constant-companion time with her, including listening to her mimicking you from her backseat booster, "Hi, welcome to the program. How can I help you today?" as we listened to your program whenever we were on the go for play dates. <br /><br />Next, I made a new career choice while she was in grade school. As I helped as room mom, I decided to return to school for my degree - in education. I have been a 5th grade teacher for 15 years now. I can see how my at-home experience was great role modeling for her. She spoke up in college classes about the importance of a mom's role at home. <br /><br />I am my kid's mom, and she is getting married this summer! She has planned her career choices around the goal of being a stay-at-home mom in the future. We're so proud of her choices and accomplishments. <br /><br />My husband, my daughter, and I are grateful to you for broadcasting your positive ideals. Keep on rockin' and talkin' Dr. Laura! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to you! <br /><br />With adoration and respect, <br /><br />Sandy<br /> <br />P.S. Since my husband listens to your program, he heard me call in "anonymously" as Jeanine for your advice. We laugh about that still.</p>
Staff
2015-05-04T17:57:00Z
Creating Leaders
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Creating-Leaders/-378702406665013683.html
2015-05-01T17:58:00Z
2015-05-01T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />As a middle school teacher, I can tell you how parents can make sure their children will <em>never</em> be leaders: </p>
<ol>
<li>Make excuses for homework not being completed, and make excuses/blame the teacher for their child's misbehavior. </li>
<br />
<li>Let them watch endless TV or play endless video games. </li>
<br />
<li>Give them a phone. </li>
<br />
<li>Allow them to have nothing to do after school, and make sure it is not supervised. </li>
<br />
<li>Don't talk to them about local/world politics, local events, finances, individual behaviors. </li>
</ol>All of these contribute to children who can't follow schedules or complete tasks, and have no sense of accountability or responsibility for a task or personal behavior. <br /><br />
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal">The students who <em>are</em> successful are the ones whose parents: </p>
<ol>
<li>Hold them to task: completing homework, and enforcing consequences at home when dealing with school misbehavior. </li>
<br />
<li>Have some kind of after school supervision: homework club at school/sports/scouts/music. </li>
<br />
<li>Have limited electronic time, usually as a privilege after chores/homework is completed. </li>
<br />
<li>Spend time together as a family, so the idea of being 'face to face' with other people is valuable. </li>
<br />
<li> Engage in meaningful conversations with their children....about the world, their city, finances, hard work, being a responsible student and responsible citizen. </li>
</ol>
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />There's my two cents. <br /><br />Good wishes, <br /><br />Ophira<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-05-01T17:58:00Z
Mothering Is Still a Service to Society
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mothering-Is-Still-a-Service-to-Society/-324571598471467189.html
2015-05-01T17:57:00Z
2015-05-01T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />My, how things have changed! The article below was reprinted from our local newspaper's 1940 archives would enrage most people today, but I found it refreshing. It's nice to know that once upon a time people viewed homemaking as a full-time job and mothering their children a necessity and "service to society". Back then, they were confused by the thought of a wife and mother with a full-time job at home wanting to pursue another full-time job outside of the home. And unfortunately, now it has become the norm. <br /><br />Now I'm the one people look at and scratch their heads wondering how I can be "just" stay-at-home mom. It's very sad. Keep up the good work, Dr. Laura. You are making a difference. <br /><br />Respectfully, <br /><br />Cynthia</p>
<br /><br />
<p> </p>
<ol> </ol>
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><img src="/images/blog/Letter_050115.JPG" alt="" /></p>
Staff
2015-05-01T17:57:00Z
Dad Taught Me to Choose Family First
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dad-Taught-Me-to-Choose-Family-First/-84373831259734833.html
2015-04-30T17:58:00Z
2015-04-30T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dear Dr Laura, <br /><br />I have listened for a long time, but never had a reason to write or call for advice. Listening to you for all these years, you have pretty much answered all my questions. I never have needed validation for my actions. If I am wrong, I will admit it freely and learn from my mistakes. I am never opinionated unless asked. <br /><br />I am the child of divorce. My mother remarried when I was three and that is the man who raised me. I haven't seen my bio-dad since then when he left my mom for the girlfriend and had three more children. Over the years I have been thankful I wasn't a divided kid: three days here, two days there. I felt like I actually belonged somewhere. My mom had three more children with her new husband and it was as normal a life as could be. I always felt my step-dad was my dad. And would state that fact, which made neighbors, aunts, uncles upset. He was a great man, a funny man and I never felt "different" He struggled with health issues as long as I can remember and we always said, "Dad had nine lives." It was a surprise to all of us he lived as long as he did and he died 2 years ago at the age of 80. I had made peace with the fact that each time I saw him could be my last time and I made each visit count. <br /><br />I was 7 hours away when I got the call he would pass that night. My daughter had asked me to visit during her pre-natal appointment. I stayed, and did not make it there until the next day. My mom asked me why I had not come, I told her why. She said, "You should have picked your father." Yesterday my sister addressed it. That they were all there and she wouldn't have been anywhere else. I guess people are just different she said, but I should come. I don't need validation I did the right thing. My husband and children are my family. And they will always be first. You helped me see that years ago. <br /><br />Pat</p>
Staff
2015-04-30T17:58:00Z
The TV Show 'Scandal'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-TV-Show-Scandal/-199081895124755651.html
2015-04-30T17:57:00Z
2015-04-30T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dear Dr. Laura: <br /><br />Just thought you might appreciate the conversation I had the other day with my 27-year-old daughter. I am new to Netflix and she had recommended the TV show Scandal, which the main story line features a 30ish-year-old woman who works for the president and also has an affair with him. I think the character, played by Kerry Washington, comes across very assertive and bossy. At one point my daughter said, "Her character is so tough." Immediately I responded, "Yeah, she's so tough she can't say no to having sex with a married man who is also the president. No, she's not tough at all." I realized it was like your voice coming out of my mouth. My daughter cracked up immediately and said, "You're right, she's not tough." <br /><br />Thanks for your show and your continued efforts to enlighten the world with your wisdom. <br /><br />Jan </p>
Staff
2015-04-30T17:57:00Z
Laundry Room Piles
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Laundry-Room-Piles/818851088392433330.html
2015-04-29T17:58:00Z
2015-04-29T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Hi Dr Laura, <br /><br />I was listening to a podcast a few days ago about a woman whose husband was upset because she had a mess in the basement and piles of laundry. You told her to take better care of him and he wouldn't be as negative. It just so happened it was laundry day at our house. I had piles of laundry all over the basement and laundry room. <br /><br />In the middle of my day, before the laundry was finished, my daughter's nap time came around. After she went to sleep, I looked at the piles and thought, should I fold all of this or text my husband for a little fun? I texted my husband. Needless to say, I didn't have time to get laundry folded. He left, she woke up, lunch time rolled around. It didn't get done.<br /><br />Later that afternoon, a man showed up at our house to give us an estimate for installing sprinklers. I was washing dishes when he came into the house with my husband and they headed straight for the basement. GASP!!! I was so embarrassed!! They needed to inspect the pipes in the laundry room! Ugh! They came back upstairs and went outside. As they sat outside, I was trying to figure out something cute or funny I could say about the mess. I was sure my husband would bring it up. He came back inside - not a word. <br /><br />As we were getting ready for bed, I said something about the laundry and that I was mortified when I saw them come in and go downstairs. My husband said, "Everybody has laundry." And gave me a little kiss. So you were very right. And I thought it was a funny coincidence that it happened on the exact day I listened to the podcast.<br /><br />Thank you for being you. And always giving me the motivation to be the best mother and wife I can. You are awesome! <br /><br />Beth</p>
Staff
2015-04-29T17:58:00Z
Wouldn't You Want Your Mother Instead of Day Care?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Wouldnt-You-Want-Your-Mother-Instead-of-Day-Care/870385583950421927.html
2015-04-29T17:57:00Z
2015-04-29T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />I recently came across an email to you I never sent about my niece who was expecting her first child, working as a full-time CPA and contemplating day care following her 12 week leave. Everyone at her work told her day care helps the child develop social skills. She visited a day care where there were 2 helpers for 10 infants - kind of scary she said. I asked if she had ever listened to you. I told her she was about to take on the most important job of her life. <br /><br />Fast forward 12 years later, she and her husband are the happy parents of 6 kids, ages 11 down to 18 months, and she NEVER went back to work. She is a fantastic mother and wife and would not trade a minute of her time spent raising and loving their children! <br /><br />Colleen</p>
Staff
2015-04-29T17:57:00Z
Responding to the Woman Who Felt Cheated
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Responding-to-the-Woman-Who-Felt-Cheated/-633142883729463572.html
2015-04-27T17:58:00Z
2015-04-27T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have one sister and both my parents are still alive. I feel so lucky to have the life I have. Most of my friends' parents have passed already. While listening to you counsel the woman who felt cheated because her parents had died, I was shocked at her selfish attitude and her feelings of entitlement of having life HER WAY. I would like to tell her the real people IN MY LIFE who were cheated were: Both of my grandmothers, who I loved, very much died, while I was pregnant with my first born. I so wished they could have met my kids. But my sons are so loved by my husband of 30 years and my parents. My sister, whose son died of a brain aneurism on the playground at age 9 was cheated out of a full life and seeing her son grow up to get married and have grandkids. The boy who got my nephew's heart was LUCKY to have lived another 8 years or so and the girl who got my nephew's lungs was blessed to live 18 more months with cystic fibrosis. My high school girlfriend whose little baby girl died with one of the rarest forms of spinal cancer before her first birthday was cheated out of life. Her dad is also a physician. My best friend whose son went out for a drive one night and died unexpectedly in a freak. My friend was cheated out of grandkids. A very special 21-year-old young lady who I thought of like a daughter was murdered by her 36-year-old boyfriend. I feel cheated that a doctor damaged both my feet in a surgery, but I take proper pain medication and walk at the dog park and clean houses for a living. I feel blessed I did not lose my feet or that I am in a wheelchair. <br /><br />Shame on that woman for feeling CHEATED because her parents were good parents and they passed away. I hope and PRAY she will NEVER have to go through the many heartaches my friends, family and I have gone through. This is just my life and I am sure there are thousands of listeners who could tell you their sadness out of being cheated out of things in their lives. <br /><br />Dr. Laura, you are a blessing to so many! Keep on going. My son, who will be 23, used to sit on the counter when he was 4 years old and say in his cute little boy voice, "Now go and take on the day!" I can still hear his little voice. Thank you for what you do! You are a TRUTH TELLER! <br /><br />God Bless, <br /><br />Sharon<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-04-27T17:58:00Z
Ignorant Parents of Teenagers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ignorant-Parents-of-Teenagers/134513209795834141.html
2015-04-27T17:57:00Z
2015-04-27T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />This blog was sent in by Carissa: <br /><br /><strong>To the Well-Intentioned, but Ignorant Parents of Teenagers </strong><br /><br />...I speak specifically to the parents of kids old enough to be on social media... The reason this subject has become suddenly so urgent to me is because today I read an article about a new website called You Now which is essentially a livestream site that a person can set up a camera feed and you can watch it constantly... The internet, especially social media, is NOT safe. And it is sobering how real this is... <br /><br />Read the entire blog <a href="https://cutestpkever.wordpress.com/2015/03/27/to-the-well-intentioned-but-ignorant-parents-of-teenagers/" target="_blank">here</a>. <br /><br />Have a beautiful day! <br /><br />Carissa </p>
Staff
2015-04-27T17:57:00Z
Am I Enabling My Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Am-I-Enabling-My-Children/880912163757029612.html
2015-04-24T17:58:00Z
2015-04-24T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was fortunate to talk with you and discuss the pyscho-babble, specifically, of "enabling" my children. At the time, I felt it was a fine line between nurturing/parenting, and "enabling". My concern was I might be preventing my children from being independent, productive, and responsible adults. One example I gave you was, in your opinion, "enabling" and the other example was "nurturing". You then suggested I list ten examples and call back. <br /><br />Well, I promptly sat down and started my list. I made it to number six when I realized these things I do are nurturing and good parenting. I stay involved in their busy lives and schedules. I follow up on their grades both good and bad and have discussions about school, time management, choices, etc. I confirm, as they get into the car, that they remembered all they need for the day. If it's a busy athletic week, with multiple races or practices, I will wash their uniforms TWICE if necessary. Then, it occurred to me that I am not really concerned about "enabling" them because, frankly, I wouldn't change these things I do. The things I do are are a way I show my children I care and love them. So, I've resolved to ignore the "pyscho-babble" aka crazy talk of others and plow forward with life. <br /><br />Of course, if any of our sons are 30 and still living at home, I'll be calling you back. Thank you for your time and forcing me to think! <br /><br />Melissa</p>
Staff
2015-04-24T17:58:00Z
Shacking Up and Silliness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Shacking-Up-and-Silliness/31576386344748496.html
2015-04-24T17:57:00Z
2015-04-24T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />I recently read a submittal to a newspaper relationship counselor. The columnist's answer did not mean much to me, but the question was really silly. <br /><br />The writer to the column complained about the boyfriend that she was shacking up with. She just found out about his previous girlfriend and how he took her to this extremely fancy restaurant on their first date. The relationship ended quickly and the writer started "dating" this guy and moved in with him. Now she is upset because: <br /><br /></p>
<ol>
<li>he took her to a cheaper restaurant on their first date and</li>
<li>he refuses to now take her to the same fancy restaurant. </li>
</ol>
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />She asked him, "Am I not worth more to you than your previous girlfriend?... Don't I deserve to go to this restaurant?" Of course, she continued to give her body to him on a regular basis free of charge. Then, in the same breath, states she is not being treated like the great woman she believes she is. So she whined to the columnist: "What should I do to make him treat me better?" <br /><br />I only wish things were so warped when I was in the dating market. These days, the amount of free action available to young men is mind-boggling. <br /><br />Tim</p>
Staff
2015-04-24T17:57:00Z
A Mother's Presence Matters
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Mothers-Presence-Matters/-263476035229398252.html
2015-04-23T17:58:00Z
2015-04-23T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am a member of an online mother's group. I'm in my early 50s and many are much younger. One mom posted today asking for advice. She wrote:<br /><br />"I want to apply for my masters at the university... I have the option of a part time 3 year online program or an on campus program that's full time but 2 years to completion. I'm 30 and have 3 little ones. My two oldest will be in kindergarten in the fall. My 2-year-old stays home. Should I try to make school my primary focus and put my youngest in day care a bit and finish in 2 years? What do you think?" <br /><br />One mother answered, "My children would be too distracting for me to have at home and actually complete my own personal studies online. I feel like I would always be stopping to put their needs first... Get a nanny..." <br /><br />What?! "I feel like I would always be stopping to put their needs first."?? Um, this is what a mother DOES!!! I can't believe she was recommending farming the little children out so she could meet HER needs and do HER studies. So cold. I answered in the kindest way possible, "Please please do not put your children in day care!! They need you! Mama, they need you and your undivided attention! NOTHING can take the place of you and your maternal attention. No degree, no job is half as important as them!!" Then I offered other options because she said they needed the $$- Dad take a second job, she work at night when Dad is home, postpone her degree. Then I gave coupon cutting tips, suggested a garden for produce and ideas to work from home. I reminded her that a masters costs money as did a nanny and that "there is not only a financial cost, but a cost to the family when mom is gone." I offered for her to privately message me if she wanted to chat for more ideas.<br /><br /> Dr. Laura, I can't express the VITRIOL that followed. Mother after mother bashed me. "Horrible words" wrote one mother. "I can't stand the sanctimony!" and "Stop shaming!" They mocked me for suggesting a garden. <br /><br />I am sad that today's young mothers so often think nothing of abandoning and neglecting their precious children to meet THEIR wants. When I was a young wife and mom, I drank in the advice of older more experienced women. I asked questions and tried to learn. If I didn't agree with something, I was at least respectful of age and experience. Today some young moms think they know everything and it's me me ME FIRST. I have mothered longer than this young woman has been alive. Yet she spits this at me as though I know nothing. Why? <br /><br />I'm not letting this get to me because it is so ridiculous. I don't benefit or lose if she follows or doesn't follow my advice. She is only hurting HERSELF and her CHILDREN. (aside from Dr. Laura: Society loses.) So sad. <br /><br />Please keep telling the truth about how important moms are in their children's lives. Hearing you on the radio keeps me strong. I won't stop standing up for children or be bullied into silence. Mothers' presence matters!! <br /><br />Thank you, <br /><br />Theresa</p>
Staff
2015-04-23T17:58:00Z
The Best Job in the World
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Best-Job-in-the-World/195129461438531526.html
2015-04-23T17:57:00Z
2015-04-23T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Good Afternoon, <br /><br />Dr. Laura, I am a college graduate with a degree in Therapeutic Recreation. I worked until I was 6 months pregnant with my first baby. My husband made a promise to provide for all of us regardless of how many kids we ended up having (we both wanted a lot) so I could provide a home and support to the family and allow him to succeed in business. I have been doing this for 31 years! Wow! I have almost completely raised 5 children. 3 girls, 2 boys. Not all perfect all the time, but glimmers of perfection ongoing. <br /><br />I have also had the honor of caring for my younger mentally disabled sister as she went through breast cancer and debilitating seizure disorder after my parents died. <br /><br />So, I have for years felt my skin crawl when I hear patronizing remarks about stay-at-home moms. One remark is: "It is the hardest job in the world". Really? Now possibly for some it is the hardest thing that they, personally, could do. I didn't find it hard. Important, yes. Exhausting, yes. Critical, yes. Hardest?? What about firemen? Brain surgeon? Military men and women? Scientists? I could think of hundreds of jobs that are harder and I, for one, am offended that people think us stay-at-home moms need that kind of ridiculous absurd affirmation. <br /><br />Some of the hardest parts of my job are things that come with the territory whether you are at home with them or not, i.e.: chronic or life threatening illness, future threatening decisions made by immature teens and young adults, tough love... Been there for all of them. The day to day, on the job, work of a stay-at-home mom is very busy and leaves you with little time for yourself. It catapults you into selfless living...Maybe that is the hard part for some, but I think it is natural and easy...it should be. I am not patting myself on the back. I use to dream of lying on beach chair with a drink with hours for sleeping and wished for the empty nest most of those years. I can do that every day now and you know what? It's not what it's cracked up to be. <br /><br />Stay-at-home moms also often feel unappreciated and unthanked by the ones who they have worked and sacrificed for. One day that all changes. You look at the moms, dads, husbands, wives, friends, students, employees and citizens they have become...although not all perfect, that is your paycheck. It's not the hardest job in the world, it is the best job in the world. <br /><br />Anne</p>
Staff
2015-04-23T17:57:00Z
Not a Father, Just a Sperm Donor
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Not-a-Father,-Just-a-Sperm-Donor/23168891414699033.html
2015-04-22T17:58:00Z
2015-04-22T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Good morning, <br /><br />I have been wanting to let you know what a great influence you have been on me. <br /><br />My father and mother created three children. When they finally married, she was pregnant with me. When the kids were 6, 4, and 2, my father decided he liked my mom's best friend better, so he left us for her. He married the friend, then divorced her, and started coming around us again claiming in front of us children he wanted to reunite our family. At some point he abandoned us again and left the state. <br /><br />My mother then saw him in the grocery store carrying a baby. He had returned to our area, remarried the friend, had a baby with her, and hadn't told anyone. He wanted to re-establish some sort of relationship with my sisters and me. That relationship turned out to be our watching him with his new family and getting to see all the things he provided for his new daughter that my sisters and I did not have.When I was 16, I'd had enough and never consented to see him again. He didn't bother to attempt to make contact. <br /><br />This is where you come in. I once felt guilty for abandoning him, but you made me realize not only did I have a right to avoid this situation with his new family, but as the adult, it was HIS responsibility to maintain contact, which he never attempted to do. When my aunt discovered he had died, I searched for his obituary online. It stated he only had one child...hers. Because of you, I was not hurt. I actually found it amusing. <br /><br />I'm now 58 years old and have a wonderful husband to whom I am completely devoted we have no children, just a very spoiled dog. <br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura. Please know that you do make a difference by healing ancient hurts. <br /><br />Love and kisses... <br /><br />Jean <br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-04-22T17:58:00Z
Rude Teen at the Checkout Stand
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Rude-Teen-at-the-Checkout-Stand/-186864633145002178.html
2015-04-22T17:57:00Z
2015-04-22T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />I was standing in line at the grocery store with my nephew and niece when I noticed a 16-ish-year-old high school girl had cut in front of us, without us noticing. She was stealthy, and was standing with her back intentionally to me with her dollar and lip balm in hand. As her turn came up, and the cashier was checking her out, I slid my package of sushi over to the scanner and said, "She's buying my sushi, too." I could see the girl stiffen up. The cashier asked, "You're buying this, too?" She nervously giggled and said, "Oh, no. I'm not buying that." I replied, "Yeah, I think you are. When you cut in front of someone without asking, you should buy their sushi. It's only right. That's what I'd do if I were you." She nervously mumbled and stammered her way through the rest of the transaction with the cashier then bolted from the store. She didn't pay for my three dollar pack of sushi, but hopefully she learned a lesson. <br /><br />The cashier and I had a good laugh over it. <br /><br />Chuck <br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-04-22T17:57:00Z
Why Marriages End In Divorce
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Marriages-End-In-Divorce/926647804626535360.html
2015-04-21T17:58:00Z
2015-04-21T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I narrowly avoided not choosing wisely when I was a naive 22-year-old electrical engineering student. I had a friend, more of an acquaintance really, who I'd sort of known since our high school days. She and I ended up at the same small college. It always made my day when we had chance meetings on campus for the simple reason that, as physically attractive as this girl was, she always made it a point to address me personally and at least have a brief chat with me. Our paths did not cross too often as she was not the engineer type. Other reasons I admired her were because she was incredibly smart, graduating in the top ten students of our large high school class, as well as she was very modest about her physical assets, unlike many other young women I had known. With all this most guys would have been bugging her to death about getting together. But I was very focused on preparing myself for my future, with the special young lady that I had yet to identify. I dared not let myself dream about my friend, or anyone else. I knew I was not ready for marriage yet. <br /><br />So you can imagine my amazement when, one spring afternoon as I made my way back to my car, my friend appeared out of nowhere across a hedge from me with the words, "I'm looking for a husband". I was speechless. I can only assume her expectation was that I would quickly volunteer. But I could not imagine being so quick to jump into that topic head first. Upon seeing I had no response, she followed up with, "So would you be interested?" I have never been able to comprehend how such a smart girl could have actually expected me to answer that question in the affirmative, unless we were already very close. Or maybe she saw me as just another lusty guy who would do anything to get her. I grunted a succinct negative reply, which she followed with a closer approach and the question, "So you're not interested in marriage at all?" My response echoed my previous response. At that point she made an abrupt about face and trundled off across campus, holding a hand over her mouth. <br /><br />Almost 40 years later I remain astounded and disappointed at this event in my life. <br /><br />I recently learned that some 4 years later my friend did find a husband, a fellow medical school student. Unfortunately their marriage only lasted a little over two years. She did remarry another doctor and as far as I can determine they have been happily married ever since. So I am glad for her. But I am still saddened by the result of her putting me on the spot in that way. <br /><br />Martin <br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-04-21T17:58:00Z
I Am My 3 Kids Momma!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Am-My-3-Kids-Momma!/-822619522087991842.html
2015-04-21T17:57:00Z
2015-04-21T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I just wanted to let you know how blessed I was to be able to be a stay-at-home mom with my 3 children. It made a huge difference in their lives' and feel they are much better adjusted young adults because of not being sent to day care. I was able to go to every awards event, talent show, Christmas program, help in each child's classroom, etc. I loved being able to do that for my beloved kids'. When they became school age kids', I then got a job at their school, being a yard supervisor. I got to see them while I was working at their school. When they entered middle school, and high school, I then became an Instructional Aide for Special Needs Children, and worked at various schools. Again, I worked while they were in class, and was always able to be there to pick them up from school, and take them to their activities. I am so thankful that my kids' dad was able to provide for us, and made enough money to have ME to RAISE our own kids', and not some stranger. <br /><br />Today, I have my kids are 28, 26, and 24, who are very productive young adults in our society. We all have a close relationship, and I am my 3 kids', MOMMA!! Thanks to all that you do, Dr. Laura.<br /><br />Fondly, <br /><br />Arion</p>
Staff
2015-04-21T17:57:00Z
Self-Respecting Young Women
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Self-Respecting-Young-Women/436771741846197931.html
2015-04-20T17:58:00Z
2015-04-20T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />You remind me of my mom with many of the things you say. She passed away 5 years ago and I miss her terribly. She was a divorced mom for many years and taught my sister and I class and self-respect. One of the times I listened to your program, you spent a nice amount of time talking about young women who don't have self-respect. You were trying to teach them not to give it away for free. It reminded me of how my mother used to say the same thing. She would say things like "you are sexy with all your clothes on" and "it leaves more to the imagination when you don't have things hanging out". I love how open my mom was with us about men and sex and self-respect. I wish every parent would teach these important life skills to their children. I really want to thank you for taking the time to talk to women about how they should treat their bodies. <br /><br />Thank you for being brave every single day, in telling people what they need to hear and not what they want to hear. My mother was 'brutally' honest like you and it was exactly what I needed to survive in this world. I have a lot of respect for you both because you are strong women who also know how to be ladies. I love listening to your show and I listen every chance I get especially when I pick my boys up from school. Thank you for helping me be a better wife and mother. I wish I had listened to you sooner so I could have been a better daughter too. I wish I was more open with my mother with my feelings. I was always so afraid of hurting her feelings, but I know now that it would have only strengthened our relationship. Thank you for all the mothers and daughters you are helping and for all you do. <br /><br />God Bless you Dr. Laura. <br /><br />Angelica <br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-04-20T17:58:00Z
Here's to My Beloved Mother-in-Law
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Heres-to-My-Beloved-Mother-in-Law/686076469126333099.html
2015-04-20T17:57:00Z
2015-04-20T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My mother-in-law had just gone through a divorce when we married, yet she never clung to my first-born hubby to help her through. She was a strong woman who went through many trials in her life including putting up with an abusive husband. In spite of all of that she became a professor who was top in her field at her school. She cared deeply for the single mom who was either uneducated or unable to make ends meet. She was a wonderful grandma, mentor and mother in law. She never 'butted in' but just smiled. She only gave advice when asked, but then it was an avalanche. <br /><br />We both lamented over aging parents: her parents had kids young, mine had kids late. <br /><br />She died almost 2 years ago in a head-on car accident by a kid who had no business driving. She was headed to see her son get a very prestigious promotion as a Marine - a proud moment for the family and especially her as Mom. She had just retired at 70 from her teaching and was ready to launch into life with gusto. Her big and little grandchildren will miss her lust for learning and life. And all of us kids - daughters-in-law included - miss her terribly. Here's to my beloved mother-in-law! God rest her soul. <br /><br />Best, <br /><br />Joan </p>
Staff
2015-04-20T17:57:00Z
Bringing Sexy Back
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bringing-Sexy-Back/300560719370822563.html
2015-04-17T17:58:00Z
2015-04-17T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I use to listen to you years ago when my children were little. From listening, I realized I haven't been taking as good of care of my man as I should. It's a challenge because our kids are 12, 15, and 17 and up later than we are. By the time they go to bed we're both exhausted. <br /><br />Today, my printer at my office broke I'm self-employed. I asked if my husband would help me fix it. It took about an hour, but we did it and it felt so victorious. He mentioned that he deserved to get some later. "How about right here, right now?" popped out of my mouth. At first, he thought I was kidding and I was. But then I thought, why not? This would be just the sort of thing Dr. Laura would suggest. So, yes, right then! I commented that we should sneak away at night and do this more often my office is only a few miles from our house. <br /><br />Anyway, Dr. Laura, thanks for the inspiration. I don't think my husband will ever grumble about helping me again in the future. <br /><br />Dina<br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-04-17T17:58:00Z
Making Happy Grandparents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Happy-Grandparents/-506924413938963686.html
2015-04-17T17:57:00Z
2015-04-17T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />Before our son and daughter-in-law had their first child, I tactfully stressed the importance of raising their child without the help of day care. However, both my son and his wife were sure they both would keep their careers. <br /><br />Fast forward to the first day they had to drop their infant off at a day care, they learned first-hand what Dr. Laura has been saying for years. I am very proud of their new decision making. They sold their $20,000.00 car and replaced it with a $3,000.00 car. They sold their home and traded it for an affordable apartment. They will eliminate their $75.00 cable bill and any other unnecessary expenses. This is including their day care bill, as my daughter-in-law will soon become a stay-at-home mommy! <br /><br />They know things will be tight but they know they are doing the right thing. Thanks for your show and the advice you give. <br /><br />Signed, <br /><br />A happy grandpa and grandma.<br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-04-17T17:57:00Z
A Man's View on a Double Mastectomy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Mans-View-on-a-Double-Mastectomy/-832942875395145851.html
2015-04-15T16:58:00Z
2015-04-15T16:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />On one of your podcasts, I heard a woman wanting to have her husband's opinion about her nipples after a double mastectomy. I have gone through this already, so I thought I would share my thoughts and experience. <br /><br />My wife had an elective double mastectomy after having a full hysterectomy. Her mother died at age 62 from Stage IV breast cancer and my wife worried she would too, leaving our children without a mother. First, she asked me if I would support her going forward with the double mastectomy. I told her I would, if that would give her peace of mind. Really, what option did I have? No loving, caring husband is going to be so selfish as to tell their wife no. <br /><br />I did everything to care for her after the surgery and during her reconstruction. My wife opted to have her nipples removed during the surgery so there was no breast tissue remaining, ensuring she could not die of breast cancer. When it came to having nipples "tatooed" on her skin, she decided not to. I guess she didn't see the need. All that remains are the scars. <br /><br />Since her recovery, which has been several years ago now, she keeps her breasts covered up, even during sex. When I touched her breasts pretending they were real, she told me, "You know I don't have any feeling there" which stopped me dead in my tracks. I don't caress them now and typically ignore them. I used to really like her chest and would joke with her about having a really nice "rack", but not anymore. <br /><br />So, here is my advice to your caller. Guys are good at pretending and being in denial. She should get her nipples done without a long dialogue with her husband. Once she is fully healed, she should act as if her breasts are the same as they were before. She should fake her sensitivity and act turned on, just like she used to. If her husband asks her about it, she should lie. I'd be willing to bet almost anything that he will buy it. He needs to think that he is still turning his wife on. If she acts as if nothing has changed, odds are so will he. They will have just as happy and fulfilling of a sex life as they had before. <br /><br />Dr S., keep preaching! I find you are spot on about men. We are very simple creatures who don't require much. It is too bad so many women can't figure that out. If they did, I believe the divorce rate would be a fraction of what it is today. God Bless. <br /><br />A.</p>
Staff
2015-04-15T16:58:00Z
A Better Woman, Wife, and Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Better-Woman,-Wife,-and-Mother/845176680084312824.html
2015-04-15T16:57:00Z
2015-04-15T16:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />This past week you took my call and helped me deal with my parents who have been causing my husband and me problems. I sincerely appreciate the advice you provided. I was trying not to be too nervous on air, but I obviously was because I didn't say the things I have always wanted to say to you if I ever had the chance. So I figured I would write to say thank you note. <br /><br />I got married way too young at 22. I was trying to escape my parents who were causing me problems. Fortunately, I married a really good man. I almost wrecked my marriage in the first year, but listening to the radio one day, I heard you. I started listening regularly. Then I bought The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. Our marriage improved immediately. <br /><br />Nearly 11 years later, my husband is grateful to you. When people ask how we have such a good marriage, I tell them it is by God's grace and because of Dr. Laura! Whenever we are invited to a wedding, the bride gets a copy of your book. <br /><br />I also want to thank you for being such an advocate of stay-at-home mothers. It is in large part because of your influence I am a full-time at-home mommy to my twin 1-year-old boys. What a blessing to be here to change every poopy diaper and wipe every snotty nose. What joy it brings me to take walks, swing on swings, and snuggle at all times of the day. My life is fuller than it has ever been as I take care of my man and raise these little boys. I am a better woman, wife, and mother because of you. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Carrie</p>
Staff
2015-04-15T16:57:00Z
Don't Just 'Give It Up'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dont-Just-Give-It-Up/296063464619556597.html
2015-04-14T17:58:00Z
2015-04-14T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am a 45-year-old man who works for a hospital as a department director. Recently at the hospital I had an experience that frustrated my colleagues, but I know you would be proud of me. <br /><br />In our leadership group, we were discussing the impact and effects the Healthcare Reform Act would bring to us as an industry and how we would still be able to survive financially while offering high levels of compassionate care to our patients. As a group we were given several scenarios we could face as a hospital and, one at a time, we were to comment on the "real" issue involved. Here is one scenario: <br /><br /></p>
<blockquote>A 19-year-old woman, living in government assisted housing, unemployed, and with no healthcare is also 7 1/2 months pregnant. She has not had prenatal care because of her finances and has recently begun spotting and cramping. She checks in to the ER and is scared because she knows "something" is wrong, but also cannot afford the care she needs. What is the real problem she is facing?</blockquote>
<br />Irritably, all of the other directors agreed it was a rising cost of healthcare mixed with the unavailability of services which led her to be scared and stay away from the necessary help she needed until there was a crisis. The consensus was the government needed a better structure to assist those down and out and who truly need the care they cannot otherwise afford. My frustration levels grew each time I heard this sentiment regurgitated over and over. <br /><br />I was the last one to speak, and when my opinion was asked for, I gladly gave it. "Well, the <em>real</em> problem here is we have a young girl who treats sex like a recreational activity. She is not in a committed relationship with a man who loves her and is dedicated to her and their future children, yet she willingly gives it up. She cannot provide for the child she is going to have and is depending on the system to shell out more resources for her since she now can't work and she won't have to. I'll be more than happy to call CPS when the baby is born, and have them assess her issues." <br /><br />Needless to say, the other directors' bothered looks had no effect on me at all, as I am proud to say, I am a man married for 26 years, with a 15-year-old daughter and a wife who willingly stays home for us. Though she does not go to a company and earn a salary, she works very hard for all of us. I am proud to take care of the bills so she does not need to worry about them, which in turn allows me to focus on my family's spiritual and material needs. <br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura for all you do. <br /><br />Thaddeus
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-04-14T17:58:00Z
Letter to My Daughter for My Granddaughter
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Letter-to-My-Daughter-for-My-Granddaughter/942221262121735909.html
2015-04-14T17:57:00Z
2015-04-14T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />I am 69. My daughter is 43. My grand-daughter is 9. I have been reflecting on my daughter's lifelong problems with self-image. I passed on your advice to her... <br /><br /></p>
<blockquote>Dear Daughter, <br /><br />When you were 10, you asked me if you were beautiful, I said, "Of course." When you were 12, you were dissatisfied with your "big hair." My friend took you to the mall to have your hair thinned. Then you were happy. When you were in your 20's, you went on a "water diet" because you didn't like what you saw in the mirror. A psychologist helped you change your thinking. Also in your 20's you wanted to have a tattoo like movie stars. I asked you not to defile your beautiful body. You didn't. In your 30's, you wanted Botox injections for your lips to look like Angelina Jolie. I didn't think you should, but kept my thoughts to myself when you did. I wondered why you couldn't see the beautiful woman in the mirror. As I reflect on your struggles with self-image, I wonder how you will answer your daughter when she asks, "Mommy, am I beautiful?" May I suggest, "More than some, but less than others." <br /><br />Love, <br /><br />Dad
<p> </p>
</blockquote>
Staff
2015-04-14T17:57:00Z
Bad Childhood - Great Life!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bad-Childhood---Great-Life!/-888381928625782304.html
2015-04-13T17:58:00Z
2015-04-13T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have listened and loved your program for many years. My sperm donor was not a great man. Although my parents were married for 11 years before they had me, he had no idea how to be a father. After my parents divorced, I was happy to see him go. <br /><br />At one point, he pretended he didn't know me in a grocery store, went to jail for non-payment of child support, and tried to kill himself and blamed it on me. But despite all that, I had a loving mother and grandparents, and that's what I focused on. Luckily for me, my father has passed away and I don't have to worry about that anymore. <br /><br />I once heard you tell a caller she needed to give herself the love her parent couldn't. I thought that was so telling. So, I took your advice. I married a man and we didn't shack up! He wanted to marry me after we had been dating for a year and a half. No wishy-washy stuff from him. He has been a great provider and treats me like a queen and his girlfriend. Actually, his friends ask us all the time, why he calls me his girlfriend. He has been in the reserves for 15 years and is my hero and boyfriend. My life is wonderful because I took control of my life and let go of the past. My "father" wasn't' good - SO FREAKIN WHAT! I didn't let that destroy me. <br /><br />I'm so thankful for your show and your advice. <br /><br />Jennifer</p>
Staff
2015-04-13T17:58:00Z
Delivering Scary News to Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Delivering-Scary-News-to-Kids/-811290020498558503.html
2015-04-13T17:57:00Z
2015-04-13T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />A few months ago, my good friend and neighbor was murdered in her office. I was asked to pick up her kids from school once they were given the news by the police. I remember telling the coroner on the phone, "I'm not qualified to talk to them- I'm not prepared. What do I say?" She calmly said, "No one is prepared or knows what to say - just listen." When I walked into the office where they were waiting, I just hugged each of them, cried a little with them, and simply said, "We will get through this." The coroner suggested I drive them to police station instead of going in a police car, making them feel like they were in trouble. On our way to the police station, I was quiet except to say, "I don't even know what to say to you guys. There are no words that will take this pain and shock away, but I will be here for you." Throughout this process, I have honestly answered their questions and remain a constant presence, encouraging them to grieve, talk about their mother, etc. There are never "right" words but what I don't say is, "It's going to be all right," because it's not! I'm honest and open, and that seems to be most effective! <br /><br />Julie </p>
Staff
2015-04-13T17:57:00Z
Adoption Is the Best Gift in the World
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Adoption-Is-the-Best-Gift-in-the-World/-852052419295782030.html
2015-04-10T17:58:00Z
2015-04-10T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Recently, I heard a woman call about her 29-year-old son who she gave up for adoption when she was 15. I was given up for adoption by a young woman and have the upmost respect for such a selfless act. I am so glad you told that woman to leave him alone. I am very thankful for the woman who gave me up, but I promise you I would be irritated and honestly, pissed off if she showed up out of the blue. <br /><br />You were right. That woman is a stranger to that man. He has never known her, and although the family sent her letters and kept her updated throughout his childhood they have no obligation to her to keep her informed. And she wanted to make sure he knew he was loved? I am pretty sure he knows he was loved. I love my parents and would not want some stranger coming into our lives and trying to be a part of something that my bio-mom so graciously let us create almost 23 years ago. <br /><br />I listen to you every day and this was one of the first times a caller has truly hit a nerve. I even called my mom the second the call was over and told her the entire story. Thank you for all that you do. Adoption is the best gift in the world and thank you for sharing on air that it should be left alone once the gift is given. <br /><br />Sydney </p>
Staff
2015-04-10T17:58:00Z
Remarry Once Kids Are Up and Out!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Remarry-Once-Kids-Are-Up-and-Out!/-360360177232896069.html
2015-04-10T17:57:00Z
2015-04-10T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Your advice to divorced parents waiting until their children are up and out of the home before remarrying is absolutely spot on! I planned my divorce for 8 years until my youngest reached the age of 18 and remained single until she was out of the house without uttering a word. I kept active with my children: team mom for two teams at the same time, schoolwork, library, the beach etc., and loved every minute of it. I kept strong in my resolution by imagining seeing my kids on and off and not being able to supervise and love them every day while they would be their father. They were, my top priority - not my love life. My children are all good human beings, college graduates, successful careers, and families of their own. <br /><br />I have been happily married for 10 years now. I am glad I waited! Thank you for informing your listeners that mothering means selflessness to the 10th power. <br /><br />Angelina </p>
Staff
2015-04-10T17:57:00Z
The Other Woman
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Other-Woman/-537883601374725766.html
2015-04-09T17:58:00Z
2015-04-09T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />I have not met the other woman, but talked with her at length via phone and text. She is the one who told me about the affair quite by accident. I kept her on the phone because I knew my husband would downplay it. She answered all of my questions even learning it had been going on for 10 years. My husband and I were 55 with two teenagers and she was 46 with a daughter going off to college. And yes, the daughter knew her mother was screwing a married man. <br /><br />The other woman answered another vital question: Were they together 9 months prior when my husband and I had restored our marriage after a brief separation? It was a wonderful period that lasted 4 months before we had a huge fight. Thankfully, he had broken up with her during this healthy period. Unfortunately, he went back to her after the fight and proceeded to stonewall me for months. We separated again then got back together and I found out about the affair 2 weeks after that. <br /><br />Over 2 years later, I still have not gotten over the affair, but I have to admit the discovery of the affair strengthened our marriage. <em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em> also helped get my marriage back on track. He told me he had the affair because he didn't think I liked him and she was nice to him. I wish I had not listened to all she said about my husband. But my husband is now crazy about me again and I have never been happier. He said a short while ago, "This is what I always thought marriage should be." <br /><br />Thank you, <br /><br />Patricia</p>
Staff
2015-04-09T17:58:00Z
Fun Childhood Memory
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fun-Childhood-Memory/185889350812848254.html
2015-04-09T17:57:00Z
2015-04-09T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />Although I always also loved the trips to the store, any store, with my parents, one of my favorite things was when my dad would pile all of us in the car the night before trash pick-up day. We would drive to one of the "wealthier" neighborhoods--which was just about any of them other than ours--and we would scout out discarded items next to the trash cans for potential playthings! My dad was very handy and he was always able to repair anything we picked up that didn't work. So, my mom would clean it up, my dad would fix it up, and voila! We had a new great toy that we had obtained in what we thought was a very exciting way. <br /><br />These days I hear parents concerned about not having money to buy their kids things. I know they would be mortified of the thought of "trash picking" and my parents were always embarrassed when we would brag to our friends about where and how we got our new toy, but the truth is, from a child's point of view, the thrill of the nighttime hunt with the family and making one man's trash our very special pleasure, was one of the best memories of my childhood. <br /><br />Linda </p>
Staff
2015-04-09T17:57:00Z
Emotional Intelligence
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Emotional-Intelligence/-71449217483449460.html
2015-04-08T17:58:00Z
2015-04-08T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />As a daily listener of your program, I regularly hear you speak of emotional intelligence. I also strongly believe in the importance of "EQ", so your comments inspired me to write an op-ed column in the Kansas City Star, of which I am a regular contributing columnist. I thought you would be interested in reading my column about the importance of raising children to be emotionally intelligent human beings. Feel free to share with your listeners. Here's the link to my column: <strong><a href="http://www.kansascity.com/opinion/opn-columns-blogs/midwest-voices/article17335601.html" target="_blank">Emotional Intelligence Is More Important Than IQ</a></strong><br /><br />Thank you for all that you do! <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Diane</p>
Staff
2015-04-08T17:58:00Z
Building Pride and Self-Confidence
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Building-Pride-and-Self-Confidence/574928032221299168.html
2015-04-08T17:57:00Z
2015-04-08T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I'm a L O N G-time listener, first-time emailer. Recently, you took a call from a young woman who had no love or respect for herself, and it brought back some painful memories of my own. <br /><br />I too felt undeserving and ugly in my younger years, which with hindsight, was simply not true. I was awkward, yes! I worked in a very small office, but we had a very pretty, sophisticated, young sales woman, older than I, who called on us regularly. She always looked so well put together and chic. Oh, how I admired her, and she was so smart too. She helped by teaching me parts of my job and how it related to her company. I never would have had the nerve to ask her to help me with a makeover too, so I embarked on it in my own way. <br /><br />When I went shopping I would only try on things that I thought she would wear. "Would Shari wear this?" was my new mantra. I passed on EVERYTHING I REALLY wanted to try on AND BUY what she would wear. I copied her style, and do you know what happened? I got compliments! And with that, came a little pride, and then comfort in my own skin, and who I was to later become. Of course, I was able to develop my own sense of style over a few short years. <br /><br />Your advice was great and spot on, I only hope that with some time and a lot of thought, the caller will work at doing what you suggested, because her life will change exponentially if she does. I hope that she can become, her own best friend someday. <br /><br />Cordially yours, <br /><br />Kathryn </p>
Staff
2015-04-08T17:57:00Z
I Finally Feel Like an Adult
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Finally-Feel-Like-an-Adult/-483295855669823812.html
2015-04-07T17:58:00Z
2015-04-07T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am a married 25-year-old mom of 3 sons. I have been married to my husband for almost 5 years. We did it all backwards and went against so many things that you preach. We started dating when I was 14 and he was 18. We had our first son when I was 19 and got married when I was 21. A career move relocated us from our family. When we were supposed to be having fun and learning about who we are, we were instead building a life from scratch with a 1-year-old in tow. It was a very tough time and we threatened to get divorced many times. We pushed through and got relocated again closer to our respective families, this time with a second son in my belly. <br /><br />During the next 3 years we fought off and on, and talked a lot about divorce. Somehow my husband stayed with me even though I was completely irrational and liked picking fights. I wanted to see him fight for me and longed for attention which stems from having parents who weren't any good. We did not understand each other and more importantly did not respect each other. We were all wrong and our poor sons had to watch all of this happen. I had to grow up in front of them. <br /><br />When I discovered you, it had such an impact in my life that I even remember the exact date March 16, 2013. I used your words of wisdom as a benchmark in my life. I did not have a mother teach me the things I have learned from you. Thank you for being my surrogate mother. <br /><br />A year ago we had yet another son and my world exploded with the demands of 3 small kids. I completely lost my mind and ended up getting professional help. I don't know how my husband put up with me, but I truly thank God that he did. I never wanted to be a SAHM and purely because of you I am and I will never regret that. I know I am doing a great job as a mom and finally have my life under control.<br /><br /> It's been a little over a month since my life has taken a huge turn. All of a sudden it has clicked. I either had a personality transplant or I finally became a mature adult. My husband and I have a rock solid and respectful relationship and my kids have a mentally stable mom who is mastering "the look" as opposed to yelling erratically. I can see now why you preach not to be married until 28. I was a child. It would have saved so much heartache for all of us if we had waited. Luckily for me though, I married a real man. He is extremely dedicated to us and puts me and our sons first. We did everything wrong and somehow became so right. He truly is my best friend and we are raising our kids to your standard. I am so tearfully grateful for you. My kids thank you, for now they have a respectful, loving, intact family. They now have a mom who puts them first, teaches them moral lessons, and who would swim through shark infested water for them. I did not know how to do this before listening to you. I wish I could thank you in person someday. Thank you for everything from the bottom of my heart. <br /><br />Josie<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-04-07T17:58:00Z
Labor Is the Only Blind Date...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Labor-Is-the-Only-Blind-Date.../-295279097041904400.html
2015-04-07T17:57:00Z
2015-04-07T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I heard you talk about a Facebook post on your page that showed a woman caressing her very pregnant belly, and the quote read, "Labor is the only blind date where you know you will meet the love of your life." Ok, so this is HORRIBLE, but I couldn't help but think of this corollary: "Abortion is the only blind date you know will end in a homicide." Awful, I know. Is there something wrong with me for being compelled to express this? Probably.<br /><br />I remember a great bumper sticker that said, "Abortion stops a heartbeat." I think it's a powerful message, much like your very direct and no-BS style, that calls a spade a spade and illustrates in no uncertain terms how the most helpless people on this planet have fewer rights than a pet hamster. Ok, enough of my ranting!<br /><br />Thank you for listening to my perspective, and thank you for everything else you do!<br /><br />Ralph</p>
Staff
2015-04-07T17:57:00Z
In Memory of My Grandma
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/In-Memory-of-My-Grandma/-54133614894753634.html
2015-04-06T17:58:00Z
2015-04-06T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura,<br /> <br />I wanted to send you a quick message about my grandma. We have always lived about 3 hours apart, but I was lucky and barely realized that fact, as we got to see each other every couple of weeks. During our visits, I insisted we sleep in the same bed and begged for her to recite one of her famous "log cabin stories", usually adapted from a Little House on the Prairie episode, except with more bears, mountain lions, and snakes. They weren't for the faint of heart! <br /><br />During the summer, I loved going to spend weeks with her in her tiny town, visiting the square, and meeting every single person in town who already knew ALL about me - Grandma was quite a talker!. We made many road trips around the state, in search of the perfect cowboy boots for me or a unique antique to add to her extensive collection. During the Beanie Baby phase, that poor woman ate McDonald's happy meals for months on end, trying to snag each and every "Mini Beanie Baby" for us. When I got older and fell into a tomboy phase, she searched out the best baseball card dealer and often drove me 2 hours to hang out with his collection. During my collegiate years, our relationship evolved to a wonderful friendship. She was the second person after my mom on my frequent call list, as we loved to just chat about each other's daily happenings. <br /><br />She first got sick last May and was mistakenly diagnosed with Alzheimer's. In December, we found out it was really brain cancer. By then it was too late for an 86 year-old woman to put up a strong defense. My grandma passed away two weeks ago. My parents and I were blessed enough to be with her as she passed and tell her how much we loved her. Since then, it has been a whirlwind of arrangements, moving trucks, and family in town. <br /><br />After all the family left and I went back to work, the emotions hit me, and I was a mess all day. I kept looking for something - anything - to distract my mind enough to allow me to continue with my daily routine at work. I stumbled upon your podcast. I failed to mention above that your radio show was also a staple on our many road trips, always trying to find the newest station carrying your voice as we went in and out of radio frequencies. My grandma and I listened to you preach for hours on end, and loved every minute of it. Well, the first two episodes of your podcast were women who had called in, still distraught about losing their fathers. Your advice and their words couldn't have rang truer in my ears. It was as if I was hearing my grandma's voice through you saying "Don't you worry about me!" It was the only thing I needed to hear at that moment. <br /><br />Thank you for that and thanks for "listening". Keep up your strong work. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Allison </p>
Staff
2015-04-06T17:58:00Z
My Husband Inspires Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husband-Inspires-Me/901967931355059611.html
2015-04-06T17:57:00Z
2015-04-06T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />My husband has believed in me when I did not have the self-confidence to believe in myself. He encouraged me to get my master's degree in counseling, paid my tuition, and helped me study. He supported me in continuing my education and following my dreams of incorporating my therapy dog in my private practice and becoming certified as an equine assisted psychotherapist. He doesn't get too upset when I bring home a stray dog with plans of training it to be used for therapy. He isn't perfect. When I get upset with him because he doesn't get things done around the house as fast as I would like, I remind myself of all he has done and continues to do for me on a daily basis. I trust him completely, because I know that he values me. I admire his intelligence and integrity. I respect the man that he is. I agree, without these important components in a marriage, this is no true love. <br /><br />Theresa</p>
Staff
2015-04-06T17:57:00Z
Learning to Be a Better Person
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-to-Be-a-Better-Person/-924007912340461643.html
2015-04-03T17:58:00Z
2015-04-03T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />I want to start by saying you changed my life for the better. You don't know me, but I want to say thank you for that. <br /><br />Growing up I had a mother who was rarely kind. She would go on rampages with every swear word you could think of. She was able to hold down a full-time job and I never understood how she could be different to the outside world. My father left her. I don't blame him for that, but I do blame him for fathering three children from 1960 through 1971. All children he did not want. I went to his house to get away from the madness at home and he got tired of this and asked me not to come over anymore. So I was on my own. <br /><br />My mother married again to a man who also did not like children, but had 2 more with him. <br /><br />At 16, I was pregnant and married the father before my daughter's birth. I am still married to him 35 years later which is a blessing. But due to my home life, I was not taught good manners or good conduct and values. In my 20s and 30s, I had a chip on my shoulder and felt the world owed me. And I was a bitch. It took me a while for me learn to be a better person. When I starting listening to your show, thought you were harsh. Now I understand the way you are helps a lot of people like me who need to hear reality. I learned many things from your show, but the most important lesson is being a better person with a lot better people skills. People I would discount because I did not feel worthy are now people who I have good relationships with. <br /><br />Thank you again. You have a listener for life in me. <br /><br />Sheila</p>
Staff
2015-04-03T17:58:00Z
It's Conscious What I Do for my Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Conscious-What-I-Do-for-my-Husband/-772826573943474358.html
2015-04-03T17:57:00Z
2015-04-03T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />I think about how I can keep my husband happy a lot since I started listening to you. I am sad to say I used to take it for granted. I have a wonderful husband and I'm the luckiest woman I know. I try to be more adventuresome because he is. I'm up for whatever he suggests. I let him know he still rocks my world. I always talk him up around other people. I pay attention to what he says - I stop whatever I'm doing and listen. I put my book down, or pause the music or podcast and focus on him. I stay happy and keep my sense of humor about me. I don't make mountains out of mole hills. I take care of my health and myself so he can take pride in his wife. It's a lot of little things that add up to a wonderful marriage. <br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura for reminding me to take care of my husband and my marriage! <br /><br />Jeanne</p>
Staff
2015-04-03T17:57:00Z
Finally Someone Who Had My Back
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finally-Someone-Who-Had-My-Back/-379244156991185730.html
2015-04-02T17:58:00Z
2015-04-02T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am my husband's girlfriend and my children's mother! <br /><br />I grew up in a home where it was 'every man for himself". My father loved my mother, my mother loved herself. She spent money like water. So dad was barely ever around, working multiple jobs and nearly around the clock, trying to keep her happy by bringing in more money. She told us kids numerous times we were never wanted, we were only there because she was careless using birth control. For whatever reason, we four kids didn't cling to each other. Or maybe the older ones did; I was much younger, the baby. I always felt alone and played alone. We lived on a remote farm so there were no neighborhood playmates either. I had a dog for my friend. <br /><br />I remember once, a mentally disturbed aunt attacked and hurt me, when I was about 9. My mother stood there and did nothing. Since I had no one to lean on, I got tough, so I could protect myself. <br /><br />Being the last kid in the house, my mother was eager to sign so I could marry at 15 and go away. Dad always did what mom wanted. All I wanted was someone to love me, someone to have my back. Of course it didn't work out. I married an older man, but he was a boy, a momma's boy at that. I remember wishing he would be as devoted to me, as he was her. I raised my kids myself, making it known to them ALWAYS that I had their back. <br /><br />Fast forward, kids grown and married. One son and wife lived in town, the other son and wife moved here. Immediately my daughters-in-law began fighting for who was number one in my book. I loved them both and refused to play the game. Their jealousy escalated one day into a huge fight, then each calling me trying to put me in the middle. I was so upset and frustrated at to what to do, tough old me was in tears. My man came through the door and saw my tears, asked me what was wrong, and when I explained to him how the girls were frustrating me, he spun on his heels to go back out the door to go "straighten those girls out" I stopped him. It wasn't his battle to fight. But I knew at that moment that he was a keeper. For the first time ever in my life, I had someone who had my back and who would fight to protect me!<br /><br />We were married a year later. It's been seven years, and he is still my lover, protector, and always has my back. <br /><br />Thank you Dr for being there to help us help ourselves! <br /><br />Kim </p>
Staff
2015-04-02T17:58:00Z
Slightly Sweeter Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Slightly-Sweeter-Me/110629248611756222.html
2015-04-02T17:57:00Z
2015-04-02T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />I've been really focusing on marriage recently by applying your good advice. I hear all time in my head, just "BE SWEET"! So when doing an assignment for an art class I'm taking, it popped right into the work. Just thought I would keep the mantra going. Oh, and by the way, although my husband doesn't really know I'm following your marital advice, I can tell he really appreciates the slightly sweeter version of his wife. After 20 years of marriage, I needed a bit of a tune up!! Still working on it, but highly encouraged!! <br /><br />Sabrina<br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/letter_040215.jpg" alt="" /></p>
Staff
2015-04-02T17:57:00Z
Divorced Parents and Romantic Relationships
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Divorced-Parents-and-Romantic-Relationships/306148103897638060.html
2015-04-01T17:58:00Z
2015-04-01T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />I teach sewing to children. Besides weekly classes, I offer "sewing camps" on workdays when there's no school. <br /><br />On these camp days, I often feel like a therapist helping kids living in "blended families." It appears to me these kids get sent to a camp to get them out of the way during school holidays; a disproportionate number of my campers are in bad step-family situations. The agony these kids live through breaks my heart. Some of them are terrified to make a mistake, as though only through perfection will they be accepted. Others tell me stories of abuse at the hands of older step-siblings--problems that never occur in front of adults. I hear of lots of other issues as well. I don't start these conversations; they begin when one child happens to mention an issue, and then another tells his or her story. Kids who have to deal with uncaring stepparents, nasty step-siblings, natural parents who don't stand up to an unfair stepparent, step-grandparents who give their own grandchildren lavish gifts and ignore the step-sibling--these kids just don't have a chance. <br /><br />Thank you, thank you for encouraging parents to put their romantic lives on hold until their kids are grown. Any child you save from these horrors is a child who has a chance to grow up strong and mentally healthy. <br /><br />Hanna</p>
Staff
2015-04-01T17:58:00Z
Just Saying No to Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Just-Saying-No-to-Mom/618466754468220040.html
2015-04-01T17:57:00Z
2015-04-01T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
<p class="yiv5426212791msoplaintext">Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I'm a fairly new listener and a podcast subscriber. I'm far behind on your show because I refuse to skip ahead to the current podcasts, lest I miss something relevant to my life. <br /><br />Before I started listening--and thus before I came to understand what your show is all about--I wrote you a few emails that were way off-base. Now I get you are not a private email consultant! You're on the radio to help everyone by each caller's example. What a brilliant way to make a HUGE positive contribution to the world. And you're amazingly well-suited to it. <br /><br />Thanks to you, I've made so many positive changes, big and small, in my life over the last six months. The most significant took shape yesterday when I had an email from my mother, who only gets in touch when she needs something. She used to live with me, but moved out, and now here she was again, attempting to tug at my heartstrings because she screwed up her latest attempt at independent living. I must admit I was thankful it was via email and not phone, because I had a chance to think about my response. I put on my Dr. Laura Hat and realized I only had to say "No, Mom." I wrote that I was sorry she was having troubles, but that I wasn't available to help. The end! I didn't explain myself and I didn't feel bad! That's all because of you. You made me realize I would never act that way with my own children, because I'm the mom and they're the children. D.U.H. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, <br /><br />Pam</p>
Staff
2015-04-01T17:57:00Z
Facing and Being the Other Woman
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Facing-and-Being-the-Other-Woman/-509503130348351406.html
2015-03-31T17:58:00Z
2015-03-31T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
<p class="yiv5426212791msoplaintext">I have faced the "other" woman. I have been the "other" woman. Devastating emotional turmoil in both situations.<br /><br /> My husband many years ago had many affairs. I found out about a few. (Aside: he confessed many more, years later after we were divorced, when he needed to ask for forgiveness in one of those 12-step type programs. I personally don't believe in sexual addictions, but that's another topic for another day.) <br /><br />After we divorced and I had 2 little children to raise, I decided not to date until they were grown. Well, I made another poor decision and had an affair with a married man for many years. My children never met him as I saw him when they were with their father. Why did I do this? At first I thought I was "in love" and his wife just didn't understand him. I later found he had multiple affairs during their marriage, but she did not believe in divorce and he didn't really want a divorce. <br /><br />Fast forward years later - I'm still on my own and my children are grown. I have 6 grandchildren. My ex-husband and I are social for family gatherings. After many years, I have become social/family friends with his wife the last other woman, since the affair was not her fault. It was a result of him not really being ready for marriage and me not being a dutiful wife/girlfriend. I'd like to say I was, but we were too immature to make it work and respect one another. <br /><br />Now in my 50's, I'm content with life. Sure I get lonely sometimes, but I truly prefer to make my own decisions and live with my work, cat and dogs, and enjoy my beautiful grandbabies. I am also involved at church now and have found peace within my soul. I love music, laughter and I always take time to dance -- if only in my own home!<br /><br />Thank you for your time today - Wishing you kindness and joy in life. <br /><br />Respectfully, <br /><br />Toni</p>
Staff
2015-03-31T17:58:00Z
Doing the Hard Things
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Doing-the-Hard-Things/849045891526803982.html
2015-03-31T17:57:00Z
2015-03-31T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
<p class="yiv5426212791msoplaintext">Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Thank you for speaking with me and clarifying what I should do regarding telling my daughter she was adopted by her stepdad. My phone dropped the call at the end before I was able to thank you for your advice. <br /><br />I know it will be hard to talk to my daughter about this, but after speaking with you it feels like the right thing to do. Before we got disconnected I told you about my father-in-law, who made comments from time to time about her not being his son's daughter. You said we will probably need to drop him. This also sounds like it is the right thing to do, and that won't be easy either. I tell my daughter all the time we can do hard things and I believe that to be true even in this situation. I love, and protect those I love, deeply with absolutely every hair on my head. <br /><br />I listen to you every day, which helps me to be a better wife and mother. For some reason I need constant reminders to change my attitude to be more aligned with yours, which helps me to have better days and live a happier, fuller life. Thank you for the time you take and for your strong convictions. <br /><br />I appreciate you, <br /><br />Annie</p>
Staff
2015-03-31T17:57:00Z
Making My Husband Happy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-My-Husband-Happy/256482208316628033.html
2015-03-30T17:58:00Z
2015-03-30T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
<p class="yiv5426212791msoplaintext">I was just listening to a woman who called in who does not enjoy sex. She blamed it on a date rape at 15. You were asking her about her thoughts leading up to sex. My mind went to my moment of 'not enjoying sex'. <br /><br />I have been married for 31 years. I am blessed with a wonderful husband, 4 children and a very happy marriage. I don't enjoy sex either, but I do what I can to hide that fact from my husband so I can make him happy. I know he needs it. I was molested when I was 5 by 3 teenage neighbors, and again by a much older cousin when I was 6. Over 50 years later, when I get intimate with my husband and he touches me in certain places, I still go back to those boys being on top of me! Remembering what they said and what they did. I can't get it out of my mind. I don't know why, I have seen therapist over the years, especially before I got married. I guess it has never been resolved, but I hide that disgusting feeling to be a great wife. I did not have sex with my husband before marriage, and he did know what happened to me as a child. My children are all productive, happy adults. My husband is happy, so somewhere, I did something right. <br /><br />I love your show, I quote you often and cannot imagine a world without your wisdom. Thank you for being there for us, to get a daily dose what is right. <br /><br />D.</p>
Staff
2015-03-30T17:58:00Z
Why Moms Get Nothing Done
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Moms-Get-Nothing-Done/-275858004223718810.html
2015-03-30T17:57:00Z
2015-03-30T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Don't miss this adorable video about a momma who can't keep her house tidy because her toddler keeps pulling out everything she puts away. This is way too cute. I thought those days would never end for myself, but they did. Looking back they were the best days ever! </p>
<p class="yiv5426212791msoplaintext">Laura</p>
<iframe width="560" frameborder="0" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/_bP0Uf3Shd0" height="349"></iframe>
Staff
2015-03-30T17:57:00Z
Dad's Parents Lost Their Parenting Cards
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dads-Parents-Lost-Their-Parenting-Cards/-25221352025436441.html
2015-03-27T17:58:00Z
2015-03-27T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
<p class="yiv5426212791msoplaintext">Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv5426212791msoplaintext">I discovered you this past summer on the radio as I would drive to and from the gym; I had just graduated from college and was taking the summer to spend time with family before heading to London - where I am now studying Intellectual History on a fully-funded fellowship. </p>
<p class="yiv5426212791msoplaintext">I love, love, love being part of the Dr. Laura Family... I listen to the podcasts every day when I run on the treadmill and walk to class. I have used what I learn from you in countless situations when counseling friends/parents/siblings and always citing my sources and giving you credit!</p>
<p class="yiv5426212791msoplaintext">My parents are each other's second spouses, married for 24 years. My dad has sometimes said his family, and his unwillingness to confront their problems, partly caused the disintegration of his first marriage... My parents broke off all communication with that paternal extended family when I was 3-years-old - the family was a motley mix of alcoholics, perverts, cokeheads, and was abusive to my parents, especially my father, in more ways than I will ever know. I listened to one of your podcasts in which you said that a husband who's lived with his family's terrible behavior for years is unlikely to change and unlikely to give it all up for a wife, that such a man was one in a million. I got on Skype with my dad after hearing that and told him how proud I was of him for being that one in a million. I told him how profoundly happy and indebted I am to his and my mom's decision to forego additional financial security and the allure of a perfect family, in order to shield me and my sister from true sources of evil. I told him I can only imagine the environment we would have been in and suffered from had they not been courageous enough to follow-through on what they saw and knew to be wrong. Suffice it to say he was extremely moved.</p>
<p class="yiv5426212791msoplaintext">I feel such pain whenever I hear parents on your podcast unwilling to address abuse in extended families to children, because I know that could have been my fate. My parents made the tough choice necessary to give me a happy childhood. So what that I don't have grandparents, cousins, uncles, aunts. Any successes I have in life will be due in part to the environment of absolute love, support, and safety my parents created from a situation full of wrong. Now that I'm grown up, I know they created it and I love them ever more. And even if I know firsthand their marriage isn't perfect, they have provided, in their second marriages, a great model for me.</p>
<p class="yiv5426212791msoplaintext">Thank you for your advocacy; thank you for becoming a voice inside my head, alongside my parents; and thank you for inadvertently leading me to a place of greater love and respect for my mom and dad.</p>
<p class="yiv5426212791msoplaintext">Best,</p>
<p class="yiv5426212791msoplaintext">Sarah</p>
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-27T17:58:00Z
Whole Other Level of Respect and Admiration
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Whole-Other-Level-of-Respect-and-Admiration/-299721979809862402.html
2015-03-27T17:57:00Z
2015-03-27T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><strong><span><br /></span></strong>The thing in my life that brings me the most happiness is seeing my husband play with our children. The enjoyment on his face, as well as theirs, makes me fall in love with him every day. He didn't have a great childhood or relationship with his father, but the way he is with our kids is an inspiration to me to be the best mom I can be. I never knew how much stronger our love could be until we had kids. It's a whole other level of respect and admiration for the wonderful man I married. <br /><br />Leigh <br /><br /><em>Question: How does your spouse play and teach with your children?</em> <a href="/askdrlaura" target="_blank">Send Dr. Laura an email</a>. <strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-27T17:57:00Z
He'd Be There in Support and Aid
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hed-Be-There-in-Support-and-Aid/-602343881017980133.html
2015-03-26T17:58:00Z
2015-03-26T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><strong><span><br /></span></strong>I went on my first date ever at the age of 27. I just hadn't had any opportunities prior to that due to a battle with cancer and subsequent treatment during my teens and early 20's. Soon after this first date, the man who waited on me at the copy center also asked me out. I went from zero dating to dating two guys at the same time! I didn't keep it a secret from either, and also made it clear I wasn't ready to get serious, for I was now well enough to attend college, and didn't want anything to derail my plans to graduate. <br /><br />In a period of three years, I went on six dates with the first guy - he lived three hours away - and multiple dates with the copier guy. As I neared graduation, I couldn't decide between the two. Long distance guy seemed the better choice, since we had so much in common, and he fit in well with my brothers, whose engineering backgrounds were similar to his physics background. Science and math geeks, unite! Copier guy, on the other hand, had an art degree, and half the time I couldn't understand his reasoning or logic on the most basic topics. But he was kind and generous, and I enjoyed spending time with him. <br /><br />Copier guy invited me to visit his parents in California. I soon found myself, at the age of 30, learning how to navigate ocean waves. I was terrible at it, and frequently ended up tumbling through the water, getting scraped by sand and rocks, before managing to land my feet on solid ground to stand up. My hands would immediately fly to my face to brush away my long hair plastered to my eyes, only to discover I was too late - copier guy's hands were already doing that task for me. Even when we weren't standing close together when a wave knocked me over, by the time I stumbled upright several feet away, I couldn't reach my face faster than him. In fact, usually he was grabbing my arm helping me stand in the first place. This is when I decided I would marry him. I knew no matter what life threw at us, he'd be there in support and aid. And he has been. <br /><br />We married in our early 30s, and almost 16 years later we've weathered miscarriages followed by infertility and a final miscarriage. He supported me in taking care of my handicapped brother and elderly parents, who have now passed away, and our latest adventure in taking in three foster children. I still sometimes can't understand him, but I know if I get knocked down and disoriented, he'll be the first to lift me up and brush me off. <br /><br />Lynne <strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-26T17:58:00Z
Stayed Home with 5 Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stayed-Home-with-5-Kids/910230864099094714.html
2015-03-26T17:57:00Z
2015-03-26T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><strong><span><br /></span></strong>Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I love your podcasts. I just heard a call from a young mother who is feeling unproductive staying at home with her 10-month-old. There was never a question if I would stay home with my 5 kids. The last 2 are still living with us and we are having the best time with them. It wasn't always easy and I admit that I was a bit fanatical about a clean house but I have wonderful memories with my kids. We did all the things you talk about and we homeschooled for 15 years before putting the last 2 in school. <br /><br />I just want to tell that young mother to cherish each and every moment with her daughter. The time when they are little goes by way too quickly and they are grown before you know it. My kids are everything to me and I do wish I would have enjoyed the "everydays" with them more. Life did become a drudgery at times and I regret losing sight of the enjoyment that they always brought to me. All I can say to young mothers is ENJOY YOUR KIDS! <br /><br />Ellen<strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-26T17:57:00Z
Protect the Child
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Protect-the-Child/568190751709363125.html
2015-03-25T17:58:00Z
2015-03-25T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><strong><span><br /></span></strong>The woman who called stating her abusive husband would "destroy" her in court" hit me hard. I married a jerk, I never should have finished my first date with him. I was stupid. My only excuse is I was raised in an abusive home, with a wimp of a mother and a narcissistic, mean, abusive, controlling father. I no longer have contact with Dad and Mom has passed away. Because of this, I really did not know what normal, acceptable behavior was for men. I do now. <br /><br />That woman needs to know she can do it and she needs to get mad and not let him scare her. My ex was a naval officer, has multiple master's degrees and was his commands "legal officer". I went through hell getting away from him, but I did it. He constantly threatened to destroy me, and accused me of doing the things he did. She must go to attorney after attorney telling her story and listen to who they refer her to. That is how you get the best. It took 4 years, but I got the best. <br /><br />I had no family to go to, my daughter and I stayed at one friend's house for 2 weeks, and then my daughter and I stayed in the car for another week. We lived with friends for a year while I saved $ for rent. I kept their home clean, and did all the cooking and helped with their children - which worked well for all of us. Then a friend rented her home to me while I finished nursing school, (my daughter went to classes with me). Then a year later, I bought my own home. <br /><br />My ex continued to drag me to court. I agreed to a psych evaluation and to my surprise - I was "normal". He has a severe personality disorder. I was able to leave the state we were in, rented my home, and moved 3000 miles to be near my grandparents. I kept meticulous track of child support and the retirement I was entitled to...which the jerk never paid me...until now. <br /><br />My daughter is thriving and very happy, and - it took 20 years - I have a huge judgment against the ex. With the interest on the judgment, he will be paying me until he dies. I also have a collections attorney who aggressively chases this man down, he keeps 30% of what he collects and I get the other 70%. Also - my daughter has Down syndrome - so I really had to protect her - for life. <br /><br />It can be done. Sometimes you get a bad judge, but you learn. Go to court, stand up for yourself, never cry, and document everything. A man threatening the way she says her husband does is not favored by judges. RECORD him. Do whatever you have to, but stand up for your child and yourself. Stand up and protect that child. <br /><br />Laura<strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-25T17:58:00Z
Compliments Are Very Important
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Compliments-Are-Very-Important/922338759681727128.html
2015-03-25T17:57:00Z
2015-03-25T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />My then boyfriend was at my parents' house during the summer, where I lived at the time. We were sitting in the backyard hanging with friends. My mom had outdoor lights that were parrots hanging under the outdoor umbrella and on the clothesline. My mom worked the late shift back then and was getting ready for work around 10pm. My boyfriend went into the house to tell her how much he liked her 'bird' lights. I had no idea he had said this to her, but the next day, my mom told me about it and she was so impressed that a guy would compliment her outdoor lights. I chuckled and to this day we always joke about his comment to her. But it impressed me as well. <br /><br />Last February, we celebrated 34 years of marriage. <br /><br />Doris<strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-25T17:57:00Z
Choosing to be Happy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Choosing-to-be-Happy/96619822767554636.html
2015-03-24T17:58:00Z
2015-03-24T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />When I was young, my mother would let me sit on the floor beside her bed while she watched the Merv Griffin Show. I loved it, and being with her, sharing a special pleasure. <br /><br />One time, Merv asked the actress, Ruth Gordon, "Ruth, you've had so much difficulty in your life. Your husband and mother encouraged you to get an abortion, yet you always seem happy. How do you do it?" Ms. Gordon replied, smiling, "I wake up in the morning, and I CHOOSE to be <em>cheerful</em>." <br /><br />That never left me, and I've shared it with people who ask me why I seem to be so happy, with all the difficulties I've had in my life. Yea, Merv and yea, Ruth! And thank you, Dr. Laura. <br /><br />Peg<strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-24T17:58:00Z
Blended Families
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Blended-Families/783171294337419071.html
2015-03-24T17:57:00Z
2015-03-24T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal">Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just read the synopses of your radio show. I married to form a blended family over 20 years ago. My wife ended the relationship just as soon as the youngest grew up and moved out. <br /><br />I became a regular listener of yours when you were still tied to KFI AM RADIO as one of your broadcast stations. It was not until after I was married that I began listening regularly. It was not until then that I learned of your position that a single parent should wait until the children are grown adults BEFORE beginning a permanent relationship. I disagreed when I first heard you. BUT...... I FULLY agree now that I have lived it all the way through. I wish I had the wisdom that I had gained through the years of marriage to my wife when we had first met. <br /><br />I hope that you can get through to some people BEFORE they learn things the hard and very painful way. <br /><br />Peace and Blessings, <br /><br />Brian <strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-24T17:57:00Z
What's the Most Beautiful Curve on a Woman's Body?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Whats-the-Most-Beautiful-Curve-on-a-Womans-Body/844082194578982675.html
2015-03-23T17:58:00Z
2015-03-23T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I'm part of the voluntary ministry at the McLaughlin Youth Center juvenile detention facility in Anchorage, Alaska, where I usually talk to the boys. <br /><br />When I get a chance to speak to the girls I include a short message on curves. The answer to the rhetorical question, "What's the most beautiful curve on a woman's body?" is "smiling lips." Most people have seen good looking women and think of Hollywood. As pretty as they are, their personalities are sometimes like acid. <br /><br />I tell the girls. "My wife has a smile on her face, in her voice, and in her heart. Any man would die for that." <br /><br />Chuck<strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-23T17:58:00Z
That's What Makes It Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thats-What-Makes-It-Love/129531295796100936.html
2015-03-23T17:57:00Z
2015-03-23T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Hi Dr. Laura! <br /><br />I loved your opening topic yesterday on how to ruin a marriage and how you listed the different things that men and women need. I'm not sure if you listen to much country music, but I love this song by Miranda Lambert and I think it shows how men and women need to be loved differently. It's called "Love Song" and here are some of the lyrics. <br /><br />I was standing there crying in the kitchen <br />It's been one of those mornings that's gonna last all day <br />And he comes in, wraps his arms around me <br />And I don't even have to say a thing <br /><br />That's what makes it love <br />That's what makes it a love song <br /><br />He comes in, slams the door behind him <br />And he can't hide the worry on his face <br />Even though I got a million things to tell him <br />I know right now he just needs some space <br /><br />That's what makes it love <br />That's what makes it a love song <br />That's what makes it love <br />That's what makes it a love song <br /><br />Everybody always sings about it <br />How they're never gonna live without it <br />We don't even have to talk about it <br />'Cuz We're livin it out <br /><br />Thank you for the daily reminder to be my husband's girlfriend, some days it's easier than others but always worth the effort. <br /><br />Rhonda<strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-23T17:57:00Z
You've Brought Me Closer to My Parents!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Youve-Brought-Me-Closer-to-My-Parents!/579308852791079784.html
2015-03-20T17:58:00Z
2015-03-20T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Hello! My name is Sarah and I'm a 23-year-old listener of about seven months. I discovered you this past summer on the radio as I would drive to and from the gym. I had just graduated from college and was taking the summer to spend time with family before heading to London - where I am now studying Intellectual History on a fully-funded fellowship. I love being part of the Dr. Laura family... I listen to the podcasts every day when I run on the treadmill and walk to class, and have used what I learn from you in countless situations, counseling friends/parents/siblings and always citing my sources and giving you credit! <br /><br />My parents are each other's second spouses, married for 24 years. My parents broke off all communication with the paternal family when I was 3 years old - the family was a motley mix of alcoholics, perverts, cokeheads, and was abusive to my parents, especially my father, in more ways than I will ever know. I listened to one of your podcasts in which you said a husband who's lived with his family's terrible behavior for years is unlikely to change and unlikely to give it all up for a wife, such a man was one in a million. I got on Skype with my dad after hearing that and told him how proud I was of him for being that one in a million. I told him how profoundly happy and indebted I am to his and my mom's decision to forego additional financial security and the allure of a perfect family, in order to shield me and my sister from true sources of evil. I told him I can only imagine the environment we would have been in and suffer from had they not been courageous enough to follow-through on what they saw and knew to be wrong. It suffices to say he was extremely moved. I feel such pain whenever I hear parents on your podcast unwilling to address abuse in extended families to children, because I know that could have been my fate. My parents made the tough choice necessary to give me a happy childhood. Any successes I have in life will be due in part to the environment of absolute love, support, and safety my parents created from a situation full of wrong. <br /><br />Now that I'm grown up, I know they created it and I love them ever more. And even if I know firsthand their marriage isn't perfect, they have provided, in their second marriages, a great model for me. Thank you for your advocacy; thank you for becoming a voice inside my head, alongside my parents; and thank you for inadvertently leading me to a place of greater love and respect for my mom and dad. <br /><br />Best, <br /><br />Sarah<br /><strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-20T17:58:00Z
Getting More Out of Your Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Getting-More-Out-of-Your-Marriage/665327919351868317.html
2015-03-20T17:57:00Z
2015-03-20T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was listening to your podcast about how to do something for your spouse that they would normally handle. Just today there was a bill my husband always takes care of, but this time he texted me wanting information off of the statement which I didn't have. I took your advice and texted him back saying "Honey you're working, I will look up the information we need to pay the bill." I did just that, then 10 minutes later, texted telling him, "It's all set. I took care of it. We're up to date. I love you." Just a few minutes went by before I got a VERY flirty text back. I could tell, he really appreciated this small gesture. <br /><br />Thank you for all you do. We're listening. If we're smart, we'll take your advice. <br /><br />Thank you again, <br /><br />Jennifer<strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-20T17:57:00Z
My One True Valentine
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-One-True-Valentine/-585232613467194036.html
2015-03-19T17:58:00Z
2015-03-19T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dear Dr. Laura: <br /><br />On Valentine's Day 1984, my future husband and I had our very first date. He picked me up and patiently drove through a blinding snowstorm to take me to a quaint little Irish pub and restaurant a few miles from my home. He courteously opened each and every door I walked through, held out my chair and graciously handed me my linen napkin before taking his seat. <br /><br />We shared a wonderful dinner, warm conversation and had just ordered a lovely Irish dessert and nightcap to round out one of the most romantic evening of my life. However, before dessert arrived, I noticed there was something distracting him over my right shoulder. His eyes keep drifting, though his conversation was still engaging. The tavern bar was just eight or so foot behind me; therefore, I concluded there was an attractive girl that was capturing his attention. For me, that was a game changer. It didn't matter how courteous and gracious he was, if he was the kind of man who had a roving eye on a first date, it would be our last. As I anxiously awaited dessert, preparing to gobble it down quickly to end our date, I decided to look over my shoulder at the woman vying for my date's attention. When I turned, I saw a sweet looking elderly man struggling to stay seated on his barstool. When I turned back to the table, my date stated he had been watching him over my shoulder, afraid he might fall from his seat. My date then asked if I would mind if we moved to the barstools next to him for our dessert. I smiled and waited as he called over the waitress and made arrangements to do so. <br /><br />We spent the balance of the evening with my date buying the gentleman coffee, listing to his story about losing his wife of 50 years to cancer, and the hole it left in his heart. Before parting, my date paid his bill, called him a cab, and offered him some warm words of advice. On the way home, he apologized for the distraction and asked if he could have the honor of a do-over the following weekend. <br /><br />Since that time, we have been blessed with 29 years of marriage in which, he has opened up countless doors, pulled out hundreds of chairs, and graciously unfolded dozens of linen napkins for me. He has also given me three wonderful sons, who have learned and lead life by his example. For that, I am truly blessed! He was, and remains, my one true Valentine! <br /><br />Michelle<br /><strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-19T17:58:00Z
Forgiving Evil
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Forgiving-Evil/-158915817487716575.html
2015-03-19T17:57:00Z
2015-03-19T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Your caller who forgave anyone hit home with me. <br /><br />I grew up in a home that was full of evil and had a mother who closed her eyes to it and continues to. At age of 5 is when I first remember realizing something was not right and my family was bad. My extended family was no better. I started rebelling against this bad behavior in my family. My immediate and extended family made me feel like a bad child...They were all sooooooo "forgiving" and "nice". I could make you sick by giving you a list of examples, but that would take too long. <br /><br />I want to thank you for being the ONE person who made me feel like I was not crazy. I started listening to you when I was about 15. I continue to deal with evil in my family and my family continues to think I am a complete bitch for not "forgiving". I refuse to feel like a bad person for not pretending that evil is good in order to be "a nice person". Thank you!!!! <br /><br />Heather</p>
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-19T17:57:00Z
Reinventing Yourself at 60
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Reinventing-Yourself-at-60/-501632246552142394.html
2015-03-18T17:58:00Z
2015-03-18T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Just watched your video - <a href="/b/Video:-My-Husband-Has-Been-Laid-Off/660776737329663711.html" target="_blank">My Husband Has Been Laid Off</a>. We can relate. Married 40 years with 2 adult-married sons. I stayed at home and home schooled them through high school. <br /><br />My husband was laid off a year and a half ago and still no employment. This is totally new as he has always been employed. <br /><br />At nearly 65 years of age our throwaway society even tosses able people aside when they turn "60 something." Not whining, just stating a fact. My hubby can fix anything. If some new-fangled thing breaks he tears it apart to "see" what is broken. He'll find schematics, call the manufacturer to explore options, to determine "if" and "how" to fix it. Sadly, we have a discard society. <br /><br />While employed, his work vehicle and work trailer were stolen (containing many of his tools) through no fault of his. He was trying to fix something the other day and make do with what is left of his tools and that was when I "saw" my "Mr. Fix-It-Man's" pain. WOW! I knew it must have been emasculating for him these last 18 months not having a job, but I hadn't "seen" it. We look for employment every morning, searching every online job search listing company, submit applications and resumes that fit his skill set, and pray our/his job will be today. Reinventing yourself at 60+ is difficult navigating. <br /><br />What am I doing? Supporting where I can in whatever way I can. I've always found/done something to help make ends meet while a stay-at-home mom in sales of something. I've taken online classes to keep up/sharpen my clerical skills and I have moved into the daily job search market myself. <br /><br />We know and have faith there is a job somewhere that has each of our names on them. It's a day-by day, step-by-step, moment-by-moment faith walk we do together with God. He's our glue. <br /><br />Rita<br /><strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-18T17:58:00Z
Poem about Sailing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Poem-about-Sailing/-9483332963359106.html
2015-03-18T17:57:00Z
2015-03-18T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I recently wrote poem about sailing that I want to share with you. It has no title yet. <br /><br /><br />Wind in my hair and sun on my face<br /><br />Wake on the water of lollygag pace<br /><br />No other matters are weighing me down<br /><br />It's peaceful and quiet and no one's around<br /><br />Anchor my soul as I ponder what lies on the floor of the ocean where upwellings rise<br /><br />Sorrows of many have been cast away who sail on to seek out a happier day<br /><br />Big sky above here of limitless hope<br /><br />To voyage on forward I pull up the rope <br /><br /><br />By Rosi Mariconda<strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-18T17:57:00Z
He's Held Steadfast to What Is Important
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hes-Held-Steadfast-to-What-Is-Important/27560246996402583.html
2015-03-17T17:58:00Z
2015-03-17T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />The line that hooked me was "I work to live. I don't live to work". My husband and I have been married for 37 great years and he has held steadfast to what is important: God, his family, and what is morally and ethically right.<br /><br />It was what he didn't do that won me over. He didn't spend a lot of money on our dates which made me realize he wouldn't spend money we didn't have. Although he has a competitive nature, he didn't see the need to be a-know-it-all with others because he was comfortable in himself. Fred didn't want to be better than our three boys-now grown with wonderful wives and careers-he wanted them to be smarter and stronger, but in reality he provided them with the tools to succeed in life. He has been a great example of how to be a devoted husband and father. He didn't put on airs around me or others, but was naturally funny and "normal" - fun to be with and with whom I always felt comfortable and accepted. <br /><br />Since we started dating my husband has remained constant in who he is-an intelligent man, a good provider, a present father, and a wonderful husband. I chose well! I am blessed. <br /><br />Thank you, <br /><br />Susan<strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-17T17:58:00Z
Helping Kids Be Successful Adults
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Helping-Kids-Be-Successful-Adults/439402596880383868.html
2015-03-17T17:57:00Z
2015-03-17T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />If I had it to do all over again, I would let my kids take their lumps as kids and not bail them out. If the homework was left on the table, then it should be late; I would not rush it to school. Consequences as a kid are hard and bring tears. They think you're mean and don't love them. Consequences as an adult often bring tears, unemployment, repossession, etc. Which is easier to bear? As a parent you can take the time to TEACH and TRAIN your child and the tears are the glue that makes the lessons stick. <br /><strong><span><br /></span></strong>Johanna <strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-17T17:57:00Z
He Understood What Was Important to Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Understood-What-Was-Important-to-Me/359454523905857757.html
2015-03-16T17:58:00Z
2015-03-16T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />My boyfriend lived in New Jersey and I lived in Chicago. Six months after we began dating, he invited me to be his guest at a wedding in Atlantic City. Tom bought and sent me three dresses and a plane ticket to join him. I chose a beautiful royal blue dress and I began my search for the perfect shoes to go with it. I packed the perfect dress and the perfect shoes for the reception. Of course I packed plenty of other options as well. <br /><br />Just as I was walking out the door to head to the ceremony, the strap on my "perfect shoes for the perfect dress" broke. Never once did he say, "You have 14 other pair of shoes to choose from." Instead he took off his suit jacket and dashed down the boardwalk in 95+ degree temps to find me a replacement pair of shoes. He returned with a pair of shoes that looked nothing like those I had bought to go with the dress, they were a size too large, and he brought me a safety pin. I was able to safety pin the shoe strap enough to get through the ceremony, and when we got to the reception, I kicked off my perfectly pinned strappy silver sandals and danced all night barefooted. It is also worth mentioning he had taken a few ballroom dance classes, and we were on the floor for every dance! <br /><br />I knew he was a guy who would always understand that if it was important to me, it was important to him, and he would go to the ends of the earth or the boardwalk to make me happy. We have been married just over four years now, and he still continues to make my happiness his priority. <br /><br />Kim<strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-16T17:58:00Z
How Shacking Up Leads to Divorce
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Shacking-Up-Leads-to-Divorce/862247591290101841.html
2015-03-16T17:57:00Z
2015-03-16T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Thought you would like this article in the New York Post on shacking up! Glad I didn't! - Shannon <br /><br /></p>
<blockquote><strong>How Shacking Up Leads to Divorce </strong><br /><br />"What are the odds you'd be in this relationship if you weren't living with your boyfriend or girlfriend?" That's the question Scott Stanley asks people who cohabited before they got married. <br /><br />Stanley, the co-director of Center for Marital and Family Studies, tells me that for surprisingly many people - including reporters who call to interview him - the answer is: You wouldn't be. <br /><br />Read the entire article <a href="http://nypost.com/2015/02/09/how-shacking-up-leads-to-divorce/?utm_campaign=SocialFlow&utm_source=NYPFacebook&utm_medium=SocialFlow" target="_blank">here.</a> <strong><span><br /></span></strong>
<p> </p>
</blockquote>
Staff
2015-03-16T17:57:00Z
It Only Took One Coin in the Fountain
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Only-Took-One-Coin-in-the-Fountain/886985820991175773.html
2015-03-13T17:58:00Z
2015-03-13T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />When I went away to college, I went unattached. It was a good thing. One friend introduced me to a big, strong, smiley football player. He and I became very good friends, meeting at the library to study, but also just talking. This friendship went on for two years, but I started to feel more than friendship. <br /><br />I went on a May seminar to Europe, and at the Fountain of Trevi in Rome, I tossed in a coin with the wish Mr. Football Player might ask me out for a date when we got back to school in the fall. During that summer, I received a "letter" from him. He had bought a balloon at the beach, written a letter on it, deflated it, and put it into an envelope addressed to me. It was just a cute, friendly note, JUST LIKE HIM. <br /><br />When I received the envelope, I asked my mom, "If I should marry a preacher's son, would his dad be in our ceremony?" My mom asked why I was asking, and I just said that this guy who sent the balloon letter was a preacher's son. Well, Dr. Laura, that all happened in the summer of 1969. That fall, Paul DID ask me for a date. In September of 1970, he asked me to marry him, and on June 12, 1971, we were married. We Still Are! <br /><br />So how did I know? All kinds of things, I guess. Two years of friendship really built a strong foundation to our relationship. But that spontaneous, sweet letter written on a balloon TOTALLY SEALED the deal! <br /><br />Lynn <br /><strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-13T17:58:00Z
Sharing the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sharing-the-Proper-Care-and-Feeding-of-Husbands/201610421866659538.html
2015-03-13T17:57:00Z
2015-03-13T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dear Dr. Laura: <br /><br />My husband and I host a weekly Bible study at our home for young married couples. First, we have a social hour where we share a meal and talk about our week, and then my husband teaches the adults a lesson from the Bible while I entertain the children. In the summer, we swim; in the winter, I have taught them simple sewing or baking, or we play games. <br /><br />During our social time, often the wives will share their husbands' "perceived" shortcomings. I say perceived because what they share sounds like normal guy stuff to me. I had an opportunity last week to mention your book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, to them and their eyes really lit up when I mentioned the concept of being their husbands' girlfriends. These are all good kids with strong marriages, but I know how easily that can change when you aren't "feeding" your husband properly! I went to Amazon and bought copies of your book for each wife and plan to distribute them. I've attached a photo of how I inscribed them. While you book is secular, I am very comfortable sharing it with them as the principles are universal! Thank you for all you do to encourage strong and healthy marriages! <br /><br />Carey<br /><br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/031315_letter.jpg" alt="" width="600" height="558" /><br /><strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-13T17:57:00Z
My Father -- Rather Sperm Donor
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Father----Rather-Sperm-Donor/-121186355226805030.html
2015-03-12T17:58:00Z
2015-03-12T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />My father married my mother and created three children with her. She was pregnant with me when they married, but she denied it and I never told her that I had proof. Why hurt her with that information? When we children were 6, 4, and 2, my father decided he liked my mom's best friend better, so he left us for her. He married the friend, divorced her and started coming around us again claiming in front of us children that he wanted to reunite our family. At some point he abandoned us again and left the state. <br /><br />Then, my mother saw him in the grocery store carrying a baby. He had returned, remarried the friend, had a baby with her, but hadn't told anyone. He wanted to re-establish some sort of relationship with my sisters and me. That relationship turned out to be us watching him with his new family and seeing all the things he provided for his new daughter that my sisters and I did not have. <br /><br />When I was 16, I'd had enough and never consented to see him again. He didn't bother to attempt to make contact. This is where you, Dr. Laura, come in. I once felt guilty for abandoning him. I believed his wife was pressuring him to sever his relationship with his previous children. You made me realize not only did I have a right to avoid this situation with his new family, but as the adult, it was HIS responsibility to maintain contact, which he never attempted to do. <br /><br />When my aunt discovered he had died over a year before and told me, I searched his obituary online. It stated he only had one child...hers. Because of you, I was not hurt. I actually found it amusing. <br /><br />I'm now 58 years old and have a wonderful husband to whom I am completely devoted. We have no children, just a very spoiled dog. Thank you, Dr. Laura. Please know you do make a difference by healing ancient hurts. <br /><br />Love and kisses... <br /><br />Jean<br /><strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-12T17:58:00Z
Better Together
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Better-Together/-557161804006158969.html
2015-03-12T17:57:00Z
2015-03-12T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />I knew my boyfriend was the one because he would give me direct, honest answers and feedback. His remarks were framed to let me know the truth rather than make statements calculated to tell me what I wanted to hear or to manipulate my opinions. He opened doors for me on our first date, and still does after 10 years of marriage. He told me up front his desire is for me to be happy, and he can't read minds. If there is something I want or wish for, I need to tell him and not "hope" he figures it out. If he can accommodate me, he does. I learned to speak the truth. It works! I knew he was the one because he let me see who he really is, and he encouraged and supported me in learning who I really am. Both of us are mature adults who can be happy if we are alone, but life is so much better when we are together! He IS the one! <br /><br />Patty<strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-12T17:57:00Z
Stay-at-Home Moms Are NOT Unproductive!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stay-at-Home-Moms-Are-NOT-Unproductive!/-496648419142661049.html
2015-03-10T17:58:00Z
2015-03-10T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been a listener for decades and may not always agree with you politically, but when it comes to doing the right thing I'm a huge fan. I was a stay-home-mom and my man and I have been married for 22 years. <br /><br />Our daughter left for college this past August. A call compelled me to write to you. You were speaking to Sarah, a stay-home-mom with a 10 month-old daughter. She was dismayed about being a new mom and being "unproductive". Man, oh man, do I remember those days. After patiently listening to the caller you told her she was normal. You had felt the same way when you were a new mom, and between the time a child is small until they are grown there are a million different stages. As I listened to your advice it brought tears to my eyes remembering those days too. I put down my paintbrush and let the tears flow. As you shared your mommy memories with Sarah I fondly remembered the memories of raising my daughter. <br /><br />When my daughter was born I joined a mother's support group to reach out to other new moms. After a few months the group split up with almost all of the mothers going back to work. I was told that I was being silly for throwing away my art school education to stay at home. Instead of having that oh-so-important career, I experienced countless 'unproductive' days of taking my baby daughter everywhere with me---long walks with her chatting away in the backpack, trips to the grocery store, romping in the backyard with a hose and dirt, and hours playing, laughing, and cuddling. Each day I experienced the joy of watching her blossom into a thoughtful, creative, and confident young woman. <br /><br />When my daughter entered the 4th grade I spent the time she was at school to update my portfolio and begin to work again part time. My studio is in my home so my workday stopped when my daughter arrived home from school. If I was on a deadline, then the workday resumed after making dinner, overseeing homework, and putting my daughter to bed. Was it easy? Of course not. I would NEVER trade the years I spent raising our daughter. <br /><br />Older women would tell me to enjoy each stage, that childhood goes by so quickly. I would smile and nod, thinking to myself---yeah, easy for you to say! You're finished raising your kid. NOW I know and understand. I can't remember what freelance jobs I had in the past, but the memories of my daughter's childhood are crystal clear in my mind and heart. I cherish each and every memory. I now find myself telling new moms to enjoy their time with their child. Before you know it, it's time to send them out into the world. Now that my daughter is on her own I do have my career. But best of all, my daughter and I are very close. I KNOW that the time I put into being at home with her made ALL the difference. Keep up with the teaching and preaching Dr. Laura. Our children are much better for it. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Susan<br /><strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-10T17:58:00Z
What a Whirlwind
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-a-Whirlwind/463348313802644186.html
2015-03-10T17:57:00Z
2015-03-10T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />You asked what you didn't know about kids until you had them... <br /><br />My instant response was when you think you want babies, you really should be looking at whether you want to be a parent to a helpless baby that turns really quickly into a toddler, who instantly morphs into a grade school child, that breezes through the teenage years and all-of-a-sudden-oh-my-gosh that teenager drives away to college and you look at yourself in the mirror and realize you did your best. Your life is never the same after that "baby" enters your life and you should really be asking yourself if you think you can be selfless for 22 years. I am glad I did and was, but what a whirlwind! <br /><br />Shelley <strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-10T17:57:00Z
Cherish All the Time
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cherish-All-the-Time/409723840788009021.html
2015-03-09T17:58:00Z
2015-03-09T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />I am an Orthodox Jewish mother of 6 who has been married almost 25 years. <br /><br />I started listening to your radio program when I was first married. I had 2 children while in college and I "decelerated" my program so I could be home more with my kids. <br /><br />When I graduated, I worked part time and didn't realize I had the option of staying home with my children until after listening to you talk about it so often. I surprisingly encountered the most objections from my mother, who was a stay-at-home mom to me and my 2 brothers. She was very concerned about my career. My husband was also not very enthusiastic about my loss of income. My compromise was to work Sundays when my husband was home with the kids. <br /><br />I was a stay-at-home mom for kids 3,4,5 and 6 and my only regret is that I wasn't there as much for my first 2. I cherish all of the time I was able to spend with my children and I encourage others to stay at home with their kids. <br /><br />My daughter is now looking to get married and has made it very clear that she will only marry someone who will support her being a stay-at-home mom. What nachas! <br /><br />Thank you for sticking up for values and morality. I take it as a wonderful compliment when friends tell me that I am their "Dr. Laura." <br /><br />Rebecca<br /><strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-09T17:58:00Z
Music Gets Me through My Big Changes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Music-Gets-Me-through-My-Big-Changes/588805722151135555.html
2015-03-09T17:57:00Z
2015-03-09T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I chose to make huge changes after 20 years of living near/with my parents. Both Mom and Dad got to live their lives in the city they chose and I was glad to help make that happen. When Mom passed, I did what you aren't supposed to do -- I moved to where I wanted to live. It was the right thing for me, but I can't recommend it. <br /><br />As a result of all the changes I am very, very lonely. I know I have to find folk I can laugh and love with. I am a divorced mom who raised her sons without dating. Now, I am too ornery for any man!! When I am the loneliest, I find a piano in a public place and play for me. When I leave, folks tell me how they enjoyed the music and that is always nice to hear. One man gave me a very good tip and a woman shared a childhood memory when I played "Sunrise, Sunset" from "Fiddler on the Roof". That made my day. I am an out-of-practice accomplished player/teacher who isn't doing either right now. <br /><br />I love where I live and know I'll succeed in having a wonderful life because that is what I work towards daily. <br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Adina <br /><br />P.S. I wanted to major in music therapy, but it was in its infancy so I did piano performance.<strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-09T17:57:00Z
I Prayed for Truth...and Called Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Prayed-for-Truth...and-Called-Dr.-Laura/-22669819412567824.html
2015-03-06T18:58:00Z
2015-03-06T18:58:00Z
<br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Seventeen years ago, I was 20 years old and in an abusive, toxic relationship. I had shacked up with the devil and desperately wanted out. I had no courage. It was then I first discovered your radio program. After a few months of listening, I had the courage and clarity I needed. During that time, I had also discovered I was pregnant. So, I packed up my things and left. And I never looked back.<br /> <br />My son was born and I raised him by myself for 13 years. The struggle of staying single and not dragging him through relationship after relationship was completely worth it. We had a really good life. Then, I made a huge mistake. I fell in love and put my wants and half-brained fairy tales before his wellbeing. I ended up with a man who progressively became more and more critical and negative towards my son. <br /><br />It's four years later, and I called your show yesterday. You asked me, "What kind of mother would do that?" I could barely speak because you were absolutely right. I am awake now and I know what to do. The road ahead looks daunting, but my son is absolutely deserving of a home free of unwarranted criticism. My heart breaks I have allowed this to go on for so long. Thank you for helping me pull my head out of my a$$. It was dark and confusing in there. And perhaps if I wouldn't have lost touch with your program all those years ago, I wouldn't be in this situation now. <br /><br />Insight noted.<br /><br />Joy
Staff
2015-03-06T18:58:00Z
Children with 'Disorders'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Children-with-Disorders/394222634914065702.html
2015-03-06T18:57:00Z
2015-03-06T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I wish I had a week to tell you how listening to you and following your guidance has blessed my life, and that of my family, in every way. <br /><br />Regarding children with "disorders"... In my work as a medical transcriptionist/editor, from the reports I see, it is OBVIOUS children need intact homes!!!! The most common disorders the psychologists and psychiatrists diagnose are ADD really PARENTAL attention deficit disorder, and ODD oppositional defiant disorder--kids fighting back in the only way they know how! <br /><br />The parents bring their kids in for treatment because they are disruptive, disrespectful and getting poor grades. ALL these kids have divorced parents, step- and half-siblings, and their time divided between two households. Until now, I haven't come across the diagnosis of CPD crappy parents' disorder, but anyone can see, that is the correct diagnosis every time. <br /><br />Thank you so much for all you do, and I will continue listening, as I have done for the last two decades. <br /><br />Love and blessings to you, <br /><br />Sandy <strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-06T18:57:00Z
Determined to Do the Right Thing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Determined-to-Do-the-Right-Thing/-902469363159238185.html
2015-03-05T18:58:00Z
2015-03-05T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />My then-boyfriend and I were four wheeling in the mountains when we heard what seemed to be a dog barking and yelping. He stopped the truck to listen. That's when we noticed a dog tied up to a tree with thin wrapping ribbons. No collar just the ribbon tied around his neck and then to the tree. He was barking frantically at us. There was also a plastic container of water next to him. He definitely looked abandoned and he definitely wanted to be rescued. However, as my boyfriend got closer to him he started to back away and growl. That's when my boyfriend noticed the ribbon around the dog's neck was breaking into his skin. My boyfriend was now determined to free the dog. <br /><br />So, I'm in the truck watching this dance of my boyfriend trying so desperately to get close enough to break the ribbon off of the tree while also trying not to get too badly bitten by this now untrusting, growling, slightly snapping dog. THAT IS WHEN I KNEW he was the person I would be in love with forever. Well, the dog finally settled down enough for my boyfriend to get close enough to grab the ribbon and snap it off the tree. As soon as the dog realized he was free, he made a B-line towards our truck. I opened the door, he jumped right in and was a happy camper. Needless to say "Buster" found a new home with my boyfriend. We got married a year later. I was 19 and he was 20 and everyone said that we were too young and that it would never last. Well, 34 years have passed and we have proven the critics wrong. Sometimes you just know. <br /><br />Vivian<strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-05T18:58:00Z
Children and Aggrandizement
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Children-and-Aggrandizement/-954227300241249960.html
2015-03-05T18:57:00Z
2015-03-05T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I notice many parents continuously film their children on their iPhone. No matter what they are doing, they are "on camera". This is so ridiculous. Kids end up feeling as though everything they do is SO important creating "show offs". I also really don't like the parent who constantly says "Good job" even for simple things that are normal - like putting something away. Again the inflated ego and way too much attention. <br /><br />Why can't parents just leave the kid alone sometimes and not comment on EVERYTHING and not take 100 pictures a day of the kid just doing normal kid stuff? <br /><br />Linda<strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-05T18:57:00Z
Learning Life Lessons
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-Life-Lessons/878918845598811688.html
2015-03-04T18:58:00Z
2015-03-04T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />I think parents unintentionally cause their children to fail by not learning how their child learns. Every child learns things differently. <br /><br />My child learned by being forced to face what she didn't want. For example: when my daughter turned 18, I was going through financial difficulties. (I never had any financial help from her "father".) She was working, so I asked her for $50 dollars a month for room and board. She said she didn't feel it was her apartment, so why should she pay. I said, "Okay, I will have to rent a place I can afford on my current finances." So I found a tiny three room apartment I could afford: bathroom, kitchen and living/bedroom. When she saw it, she said, "I'm not living in a place this small. Find something else." I said, "Sorry. This is it, unless you help with rent." So she moved out, but she learned. She's been living on her own for three years now. Going to college, working and doing what she should. I'm very proud of her. <br /><br />My oldest nephew learns by trial and error. My youngest nephew learns by sitting back and watching to see what works best. Everyone is different. <br /><br />I treated my daughter like she was a valued member of the family and what she had to say was important. Most times, it wasn't done her way; I tried to treat her like a person with her own mind and feelings because Mommy will not always be there to save the day. She has to count on herself first. <br /><br />Carisa<strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-04T18:58:00Z
Idolization as a Coping Method
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Idolization-as-a-Coping-Method/-943013994087987541.html
2015-03-04T18:57:00Z
2015-03-04T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I spoke to you the other day in regards to my father and how I idolized him growing up for always working, but have now seen in his interactions with my children, he was just negligent. You told me how I falsely idolized him as a coping method for not having a loving/present father, and how that wasn't me, and I will be there for my daughters. YOU ARE RIGHT. <br /><br />I am writing to thank you for your help. I am not one to usually ask for help, which is why I sounded so nervous on the phone. My wife was shocked when I told her I called you. I didn't doubt you would be able to help me, but when you said I falsely idolized my dad as a coping method, it almost knocked me off my seat. <br /><br />I appreciate more now when you tell callers to take a minute to absorb the information you just gave them. <br /><br />Thank you once again, <br /><br />Andrew, My Kids' Dad. <strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-04T18:57:00Z
I Just Want to Meet a Nice Guy...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Just-Want-to-Meet-a-Nice-Guy.../614831293683403.html
2015-03-03T18:58:00Z
2015-03-03T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Why do women pick bad guys? First off, I'm a man, so I can't say firsthand why women pick bad men, I can only speculate based on my observations and past experience of when I was single. <br /><br />In my opinion, a good guy is rejected by women who chose what some would characterize as "good-looking losers." These same women would adamantly tell you they "just want to meet a nice guy." I think that is often a lie to themselves, because they've rejected plenty of nice guys in their lives, but the nice guys just didn't "do it" for them. Let's face it: Nice guys are boring. Even exciting nice guys are boring. "Why can't I meet a nice guy?" they would ask. "Because you don't want a nice guy," is the simple answer. <br /><br />So, why, then, do women pick bad men? I wouldn't be the first to propose the theory women are hard-wired to be excited by dangerous, alpha-male, BAD men. They know these men are bad for them, but they just can't help it. Unfortunately, I think most PEOPLE, not just women, end up making bad choices because of this evolutionary hard-wiring. Fortunately, if we work hard enough at becoming mentally healthy, we can certainly override this hard-wiring, much like we can stop ourselves from grabbing food off of someone else's table in a restaurant, no matter how hungry we are. <br /><br />Unfortunately, though, it has been my experience that most people are just not healthy enough to be in a healthy relationship or attract a likewise healthy mate. I propose most people will not only be unattractive to healthy mates, they will deliberately choose someone bad for them. They know it's a bad choice, they get warnings from friends and family, they even will admit to themselves that this is just plain crazy to be in a relationship with their bad choice, but, as you often say, denial is a powerful drug. People's egos can fool them into just about anything. <br /><br />Dr. Laura, please keep up the fight, because I know there are healthy people out there and I'm certain a lot of unhealthy people CAN get healthy if they want to. You have been one of the guiding forces in my own personal journey to becoming healthy and I'm sure there are countless others who would say the same. I'm trying very hard to pass on this foundation to my children so hopefully they won't have to suffer from choosing poorly. Thank you for all that you do. <br /><br />Ralph <strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-03T18:58:00Z
He Was the Whole Package
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Was-the-Whole-Package/-950584403519921580.html
2015-03-03T18:57:00Z
2015-03-03T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My cat knew my now-husband was a great guy before I did. My cat would have nothing to do with the guys I previously dated, but she sat on his lap on our first date. His first gift to me was a pair of shoes -- that fit perfectly! But above everything, I knew I could trust him no matter what. It was the way he would do what he said he would do. He showed me by his actions that he was committed to me. I knew early on I was his one and only. <br /><br />After a year of dating, he moved away to San Diego to do neurological fellowship training. When he left, my mother asked me what I would do if our relationship didn't work out. I told her I wasn't worried, I trusted him. As he was leaving, he told me he loved me. Two months after he left, he asked me to marry him. A year and a half later we were married. <br /><br />Today, after 17 years of marriage and 2 kids, he is still the man of integrity that I love and trust with all my heart. He is the best father and husband I could have ever asked for. For me it wasn't one thing he did to make me know he was the one. It was the whole package: Integrity, humor, honor, trust, love, commitment, passion, loyalty; a truly good man - not to mention his good taste in cats and shoes. <br /><br />Lise<strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-03T18:57:00Z
Effects of Divorce on Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Effects-of-Divorce-on-Children/-701059202205762089.html
2015-03-02T18:58:00Z
2015-03-02T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Here's an article on how divorce affects kids: <a href="http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2011/09/between-two-worlds/" target="_blank">Between Two Worlds</a> <br /><br />I grew up in an intact family, and my kids are growing up like that as well. I appreciate what you do, Dr. Laura, to enlighten parents who are considering a divorce, yet think their kids will be happy and fine. <br /><br />Summary of the article: kids from a broken home have to live in two worlds, have to feel old too soon, and alone. Their parents don't know their child's whole story, because each parent is with their child for only a split part of the time. Quote from the article: "Since the early 1970s, when divorce became widespread, there has been this mistaken idea that children do best when their parents are happy. Marquardt, Judith Wallerstein, and others completing long-term studies of kids of divorce, though, show that contrary to popular belief, a child from an intact, but unhappy family with only low-level conflict, tends to grow up happier and more secure than a child from a divorced family, even if that divorce was a "good" one. Children, you see, don't worry so much about their parents' happiness as they do about their own security. And divorce ends that abruptly, no matter how 'amicable' that divorce is supposed to be." <br /><br />Sharon<strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-02T18:58:00Z
Feelings vs. Logic
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Feelings-vs.-Logic/450619564464896225.html
2015-03-02T18:57:00Z
2015-03-02T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />I know you're a "Star Trek" fan, so I hope this will not be out of place on learning of the death of Leonard Nimoy a.k.a. "Mr. Spock." <br /><br />I'll be honest: Back in my twenties, having come out of an unfortunate and chaotic childhood, I discovered my emotions were too screwed up and neurotic to use to navigate life. I was a "Star Trek" fan; so, using Spock as a clear example, I deliberately began using logic to get me through the days, the months, the years. It was a process of "Here's what I'm feeling... but what's REALLY happening? What's the true equation here?" And I would "do the math," and REASON things out. It was a learning process; it changed my life, and the way I approach everything in it. This was due to Leonard Nimoy's portrayal of this unforgettable character. <br /><br />Lynette<strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-03-02T18:57:00Z
Homeschooling and Socialization
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Homeschooling-and-Socialization/40249837404142479.html
2015-02-27T18:58:00Z
2015-02-27T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I'm a homeschooling parent who is thrilled about your strong advocacy for homeschooling. One of the most frequent questions homeschooling parents are asked is "but what about socialization?" Here is an article that was originally published in The Washington Times as a reassurance to parents considering starting to homeschool, but who are worried about this issue. <br /><br />Read: <a href="http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/dec/13/home-schooling-socialization-not-problem/" target="_blank">HOME-SCHOOLING: Socialization not a problem</a><br /><br />Thanks for all you do. <br /><br />Jennifer<strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-02-27T18:58:00Z
Happy or Grumpy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Happy-or-Grumpy/160280653896071348.html
2015-02-27T18:57:00Z
2015-02-27T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />When I first met my "now husband," I wasn't so sure I wanted to be in a relationship. I had been hurt and disappointed by someone else in the recent past. In fact, in spite of my "now husband's" consistent behavior and interest, I even "broke up" with him because I got scared and thought I had better not get involved with anyone. It lasted for a day -- since that's how long it took for me to come to my senses and realize how wonderful he was. <br /><br />I knew he was the one for me when, for Christmas, he gave me two plush figures --the dwarves Happy and Grumpy. He told me to use the figures to let him know which Michelle I was being on any given day. That gift convinced me that not only did he love me, but that he KNEW me--and loved me as I was. <br /><br />Fast forward 18 years and we are still happily married: I, to my Prince Charming; and he, to his often-Happy-sometimes-Grumpy, Snow White. <br /><br />Michelle<strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-02-27T18:57:00Z
Infidelity and HIV
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Infidelity-and-HIV/43376248267433598.html
2015-02-26T18:58:00Z
2015-02-26T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Because of our two minor daughters, I stayed in a marriage with a man who cheated. He was a great provider and I wanted our daughters to be in an intact home. I planned to divorce him after they were up and out of the house. <br /><br />At the age of 56, he became sick and saw our family doctor 15 times in 18 months. After being admitted to the hospital for the third time with persisted pneumocystis pneumonia, he was finally diagnosed with full-blown AIDS. When the infectious specialist reviewed his labs and other health info, he stated my husband was probably HIV positive for at least 5 years to possibly 10 years. He even had Kaposi's Sarcoma which our physician diagnosed as a medication side effect!!!!! He died 4 weeks after being diagnosed. <br /><br />My reason for writing you is because I stayed in the marriage thinking I was doing the right thing for my children. I am a registered nurse never thought an STD let alone HIV would ever "really" happen to us. How wrong was I!!!!!! Through the grace of God, I tested negative for HIV. I understand about 15% of couples where one partner is positive, the other will not contract it. I know some of your callers indicate they think their spouse is cheating, but they remain in the marriage. I just want to spread the message that if you think your spouse is cheating, please practice safe sex. My husband was a straight, CHP officer, church going man, great provider, loved by his friends and family - and a good liar!!!! Many recent medical journals have articles about how HIV is being overlooked in people in the 50-60 age group. They are being misdiagnosed because they don't fall into the stereotype. I hope to add to the HIV awareness and help women protect themselves!!!!! Husbands need to hear my message, too, because they could infect their wives because of their selfish behavior. <br /><br />Thank you for letting me share my story! I thank God I am negativeb but my story could have had a very different ending. <br /><br />Donna <strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-02-26T18:58:00Z
Locked Our Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Locked-Our-Love/439378105034284424.html
2015-02-26T18:57:00Z
2015-02-26T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />My now husband has always been so caring, honest, loyal and has never had trouble putting a smile on my face even in the roughest times. There are countless memories I can think of that we have shared that still make my heart skip a beat: from our first date when he came to pick me up and brought me a dozen pink roses with a note attached that said, "Will you be my gal? Check yes or yes", to the date he took me on a luminary walk through the botanical gardens, to the multiple nights of dancing in his little apartment kitchen to old country songs. But the ONE extra special day that he made me know that he was THE ONE is when he asked me if I would like to go on a picnic with him. <br /><br />He picked me up with his cooler in the back seat and we went to the grocery store to get some things to take for our lunch. All through the store he was scatterbrained. It was a bit frustrating at the time because we would have to go from one side of the store ALL the way back to the other, and then BACK to where we began because he kept forgetting things! I had no clue what was so distracting for him. I knew I was wearing a cute blouse, but that shouldn't have gotten to him that much! After all the chaos at the grocery store, we headed to our picnic at a location that was still a surprise me. He ended up taking me the Red Bridge where we had "locked our love" earlier that year on Valentine's Day. He told me that we were going to eat lunch under the shade tree and then we would go down to the bridge to see our lock. His nerves were too haywire by this point so we dropped off the cooler under the tree and walked to the bridge. As we stood there reminiscing about when we first put the lock on, our first date, and etc., he knelt down and said, "Brittany will you be my gal forever?" With both us teary-eyed, I managed to say yes really quickly before he swept me up in his arms and gave me a kiss. I will never forget all of our special little moments, but especially that moment. <br /><br />Brittany<br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/letter_022515.jpg" alt="" /> </p>
Staff
2015-02-26T18:57:00Z
Moms Have the Power to Change Our Country
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Moms-Have-the-Power-to-Change-Our-Country/673208610439404270.html
2015-02-25T18:58:00Z
2015-02-25T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />I was shocked at the 17-year-old girl who was complaining about how she was being treated after sleeping with not only her boyfriend, but also her boyfriend's sister's boyfriend. You told her she earned what she was getting and hopefully she would learn from this. She showed no shame or remorse, which sickened me. I had one question. Where was Mom in all of this? This is what happens when Mom isn't there to teach her little girl how to become self-respecting lady. I'll sum it up like this... <br /><br />Things that would change if moms were home raising their children:</p>
<ol>
<li>Lower crime rates</li>
<br />
<li>Less drug and alcohol abuse.</li>
<br />
<li>Lower abortion rates.</li>
<br />
<li>Higher moral and ethical standards.</li>
<br />
<li>Children with higher confidence and self-worth.</li>
<br />
<li>And this is the most important: moms knowing they are doing the most important job there ever was and seeing their success by the way their children walk into the world. </li>
</ol>
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal">That my friends is how moms have the power to change this country for the better. It's that simple so, why aren't more of us doing it? <br /><br />Jenni <strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-02-25T18:58:00Z
Insecure Mother/Child Bond and Anxiety
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Insecure-Mother/Child-Bond-and-Anxiety/-101085848344116674.html
2015-02-25T18:57:00Z
2015-02-25T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br /><br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />Thank you for continuing to encourage mothers in their full-time parenting. I feel for the young moms who call you and say they feel unproductive as a stay-at-home parent. The "you-can-do-it-all-just-dump-your-kids-in-day-care" mentality has taken a firm grip with women AND the children suffer. Women need to know, if you are not there, you will NOT forge a strong bond. Your child WILL suffer. As a day care worker, I witnessed children, especially boys, who were angry at their mothers at drop off and pick up. This will come back to haunt us as parents and as a society, for what is scarier than an angry, anxious, young male who is lost in this world?<br /> <br />Read: <strong><a href="http://www.foxnews.com/health/2015/02/23/your-bond-with-your-baby-will-affect-him-as-teen/" target="_self">Your Bond with Your Baby Will Affect Him as a Teen</a></strong><br /><br />Thank you for encouraging mothers. They need you and so do their babies. Don't ever stop!<br /><br /><br />May </p>
Staff
2015-02-25T18:57:00Z
I Am Stronger Than I Think I Am
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Am-Stronger-Than-I-Think-I-Am/-899445395976164142.html
2015-02-24T18:58:00Z
2015-02-24T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />When my life hit crisis mode about a year ago, I knew I needed help from the pros! I spoke with you about regarding the power struggle between my husband's family and mine. <br /><br />I had just been diagnosed with bi-polar and was seriously depressed in my marriage, which I thought was normal and just fine. I was married to someone who was very controlling, verbally abusive, and with declining mental capacity to handle things, we thought a quick visit to a psychiatrist, and medication would solve the issue. Until my family stepped in and very lovingly told me my husband and I should consider separating. They were skeptical of the recent diagnosis I was given. <br /><br />After having what seemed to be WWIII between his family and mine, things spiraled out of control. His family did not think it was a good idea to separate; my family was pleading for them to realize that his presence was giving me serious anxiety and depression. So everyone was walking on egg shells, including my son and daughter. I, then you. You told me I was the only one who knew what was going on behind closed doors. You also gave me the most valuable advice I could have ever received. After you had me shout three times on the air "I am stronger than I think I am", I decided enough was enough. Shortly after, I was able to get a protection order in place to keep me and my two kiddos safe in my home. <br /><br />Oddly, the psychiatrist admitted he had misdiagnosed me. And then in the next breath, recommended I leave my husband. Turns out I was married to a narcissist. A word I hadn't even heard of until about 9 months ago! Needless to say, I chose a different, more effective therapist after that visit. Since then, I have become happily divorced, and after some much needed therapy, I am NOT crazy, NOT bi-polar and healthy, raising my two kiddos as a divorced mother. I am for the first time, LOVING Motherhood! I went from having ample amounts of money, running my own business, and stressing about being the person my husband thought I should be, to being a broke, single, and a very busy lady. I am loving life, focusing on my sweet babies, and learning the signs to ensure I don't make the same mistake twice. <br /><br />I know you get hundreds of these emails each day, but there's only one of me, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking a few moments to help me press the reset button on my life. I can't wait to one day take what I've learned, and use it in a more healthy and rich relationship that will bless my children and me. Thank you again! You rule. <br /><br />Denielle<strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-02-24T18:58:00Z
He Showed Many Qualities in Just Two Acts
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Showed-Many-Qualities-in-Just-Two-Acts/-300997468324591687.html
2015-02-24T18:57:00Z
2015-02-24T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />I liked my husband on our very first date because of how he treated my dog. You see, I am a veterinarian who now stays home, only working the occasional overnight shift at the local ER, but at the time my dog was my child and very important to me. He was respectful and asked to see my dog. She was just hanging in the car and he asked to take her for a walk. He was kind and sweet to her, and played her favorite game: fetch. That alone had me smitten, so it did earn him the next date. <br /><br />Several months into our relationship, he swung by my work and borrowed my car. He put real rugged all-terrain tires on my small SUV. At that point I for sure knew I wanted to marry him. He showed many qualities I needed for our future family in those two acts; kind, caring, respectful, awareness, protection, a get it done attitude, and he is a man who does the man stuff. I had no clue as to how important good tires are to cars and safety!<strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-02-24T18:57:00Z
His Actions Told Me He Was the Right One
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/His-Actions-Told-Me-He-Was-the-Right-One/919640031519207100.html
2015-02-23T18:58:00Z
2015-02-23T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />In the summer of 1971, I met a man who changed my life. It was a Thursday and in the days that followed I knew he was the man who would slay dragons for me. It was a time when women would go to bars or "hang outs" and go home with some guy for a one night stand. Not me! So when I met my husband and he was polite and treated me like I was special, taking my elbow as we walked, spending time talking and just enjoying time together, I thought he was someone I could have a future with. <br /><br />Now.....this is why I knew he was the right one. Five days later my father had a heart attack. My dragon slayer and I were together at the beach with some high school kids. I was one of the youth group leaders. There were no cell phones then and I did not learn about my dad until we returned from the beach. My boyfriend immediately took me to the hospital, stayed with me until it was okay to leave, and then took me home and listened as I rambled on about my feelings. When he left he told me to call him if I needed anything. That night my dad passed away. I called; it was 4 in the morning. He said he would be there. He was waiting for my mother and me at my mother's house when we returned from the hospital. <br /><br />He was there for me at that time and has been there ever since! We will be married 43 years in March. He still sticks little notes in my car, lunch, briefcase, or just on the bathroom mirror. He calls or texts me just to tell me he loves me and asks how my day is. The best part is, I do the same thing for him and it makes my day!!!!!!! <br /><br />Linda<strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-02-23T18:58:00Z
Protecting the Woman He Loves
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Protecting-the-Woman-He-Loves/-834018225870189491.html
2015-02-23T18:57:00Z
2015-02-23T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />My husband and I have been married for 39 years this month. <br /><br />The one specific thing he did that convinced me he was "The One" was this: before I ever met his family, he told his very Italian mother, "I'm bringing a girl home, and you better like her." I never had any trouble with her and she respected the boundaries my husband set before day one. I have used this as a standard of how a man protects the woman he loves. <br /><br />Anne<strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-02-23T18:57:00Z
He Ate My Broccoli
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Ate-My-Broccoli/-362223328260921659.html
2015-02-20T18:58:00Z
2015-02-20T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />The first time my future husband came over for dinner, I served broccoli. Having always eaten and enjoyed its nutritious benefits, I never thought twice. Although I went to the extra trouble of serving it with Hollandaise sauce, broccoli is still broccoli! He was very appreciative, and we enjoyed a comfortable evening with good conversation. It wasn't until many weeks into our relationship he revealed that prior to that night, he didn't like or eat broccoli - it was never on the menu when he was growing up. My husband is a man of great thought and few words. <br /><br />The day he proposed, he was so distant and pensive that I thought he was trying to find some kind words to end our relationship. To my shock, he popped the question that evening and gave me a ring the following day. Another majorly attractive trait is that he never directly challenges my decisions. Instead, he asks me if I'm sure that's what I want to do. Very effective way to encourage a self-check and has saved me many times over. He knows me better than I do, and it seems like he always has. <br /><br />By the way, now he loves broccoli! I can't serve it often enough!<br /><br /><br /><strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-02-20T18:58:00Z
17 Years Old and Married
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/17-Years-Old-and-Married/648554234425037671.html
2015-02-20T18:57:00Z
2015-02-20T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I love you and your show. I listen each and every day. I wish I had the means to listen to you when I was young. <br /><br />I met my husband when I was 15, by 17 I got pregnant. Still in high school I was pregnant with twins. I had the twins in May and graduated in June. I had my son 15 months later. My husband was a very good worker never missed a day. However, he was an alcoholic. I just want to say all three of our children are married with kids of their own and doing great. My husband and I are still married after 37 years. He no longer drinks and it's been 25 years now. <br /><br />I thought you might want to hear a story that didn't start out to good but ended with a happy ending. <br /><br />Brenda <br /><strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-02-20T18:57:00Z
I Put Your Advice Into Practice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Put-Your-Advice-Into-Practice/313218110882199303.html
2015-02-19T18:58:00Z
2015-02-19T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Thank you for all you do for marriage and family. I have been married to a wonderful man for 27 years, thanks to you. I have been a listener since the 1990's and I have been my husband's girlfriend for the last 4 years. We went through ups and downs throughout the years. I put your advice into practice and because of that, we are doing well. As our three girls get engaged and married, I will be using your advice when I get calls complaining about this or that with their boyfriend or husband. <br /><br />I saved this quote that you said on the air and I put it on a picture, thinking you might like it. Thanks for all you do, especially for the protection of children. I hope that you stay on the air for a long time to come. You are the lone voice of reason in this crazy world. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Kathy <br /><br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/2.jpg" alt="" /><strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-02-19T18:58:00Z
That Did It For Me!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/That-Did-It-For-Me!/225783171172064998.html
2015-02-19T18:57:00Z
2015-02-19T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><br />Back in the '80s you had to go to video stores to rent VHS or Beta and the machines. My then boyfriend and I were in line at one of the rental stores, VHS and VCR in hand, ready to pay for our rental. Wandering around the store was a precious two-year-old. He saw my boyfriend's jeaned pant leg and mistook him for his father. The toddler stood next to my guy and proceeded to wrap his arm around his leg. My boyfriend stood very still and just let it happen. After a minute or two, the sweetie looked up and saw, to his horror, that my boyfriend was not his dad and quickly ran away. I was watching the entire episode wondering how my boyfriend would react. When I asked him what he thought about the incident, future hubby said, 'That felt really good." That did it for me! <br /><br />Our two sons are now in their mid-20s and have been raised by the best dad in the world. They are two well-adjusted, good, good men and I couldn't be a prouder mother.<br /><br />Thanks, Dr. Laura, for being my sounding board all of these years.<br /><br />Tonya<br /><strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-02-19T18:57:00Z
When Grandparents Stay Too Long
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-Grandparents-Stay-Too-Long/-371267712047059196.html
2015-02-18T18:57:00Z
2015-02-18T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><strong><span><br /></span></strong>I've heard the issue come up numerous times and here's my "out of the box" idea. When the grandparents want to come from out of town and stay longer than 5 days, I suggest the parents give them a schedule for the kids' schools and activities, then hand them the keys to the car. Meanwhile, the parents go to a hotel down the street! They should stay in town so they can work etc., but let the grandparents watch the kids alone in the kids' own environment. <br /><br />I would have loved that when my kids were little. Unfortunately I had the opposite problem. The older generations in my family rarely visited and never for more than 3 days. <br /><br />Cindy <strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-02-18T18:57:00Z
It's All Good Advice - Then and Now
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-All-Good-Advice---Then-and-Now/767750465569111958.html
2015-02-17T18:58:00Z
2015-02-17T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><strong><span><br /></span></strong>Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Your advice regarding loose women and shack-up honeys is tried and true. <br /><br />My teenage years were, out of unfortunate circumstances, quite unsupervised. When I was 12, my dad died of liver cancer, although even by then, I felt very much loved by him. My mom suffered a continuous series of nervous breakdowns and shock treatments. She was ill from the time I was 7 years old until her death when I was 32. During her illness, I was often shuffled off to live at my aunt's house as my dad worked long hours and I had 4 siblings. <br /><br />I attended Catholic schools, so my upbringing was geared toward the encouragement of practicing purity when it came to the opposite sex. That meant things like: "don't appear half-naked in public" because guys are "aroused" easier than girls. "Don't give out" (fondle, etc.) or boys won't respect you. As for sex, wait until your wedding day, after which you and the man you've grown to love, will get all the experience you want together discovering each other. <br /><br />During my teen years, even though my mom was very ill and my dad had died, I kept all of these moral values. What saved me was the idea: if Dad were still alive, I wouldn't want to disappoint him. I took all of this advice, about staying pure, seriously. Many of my girlfriends did not. Some became pregnant. Others had a reputation of being whores. Many of them ALWAYS had a guy, or more than one, on their arm - I did not. <br /><br />Something told me that I had it right and that being lady-like would attract the marrying kind when the time was right. As a result, at the age of 25, I DID find a terrific guy who held the same standards as I did about purity in women. We married and had two children. After 20 years of marriage, he died somewhat before his time of stage 4 brain cancer. <br /><br />When my daughter was 19 and my son was 22, I again met a great man who respected decency and I conducted myself as a virgin would, albeit I surely was not as a mother of two! After a three-year courtship, we married. We wrote our own wedding vows, and I'll never forget when he said: "Before you came into my life, I had never met anyone like you." Why am I saying all this? Listen to Dr. Laura's warnings, "Why buy the cow when the milk is free? And don't be a shack-up honey." It's all good advice-then and now. Thank you, Dr. Laura, for vouching for decency in our young women, as it brings out the best in the right young men. It was surely a way of life, back then in my teens that served me well to this day. <br /><br />Warmly, <br /><br />Rosanne<strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-02-17T18:58:00Z
Taking a Chance - Winner of Lovey Dovey Contest
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-a-Chance---Winner-of-Lovey-Dovey-Contest/356321901545935249.html
2015-02-13T18:58:00Z
2015-02-13T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><strong><span><br /></span></strong>When I was dating my now husband, I found out he hated cats. During our courtship he tolerated my cat, Damond. He was a big old Tom cat that loved to just lay around on the back of the couch. When we were dating he would stay away from Damond acting like the cat didn't exist . I knew how he felt and told him this relationship might not be able to move forward because I loved my kitty and wouldn't choose him over my beloved cat. <br /><br />Damond was one of those cats you can't keep inside the house. He loved to the roam at night and sleep in the house all day. One morning I opened the door to find Damond dragging his hind legs on the ground. I knew he had been hit by a car. I called my boyfriend crying, telling him what happened. He calmed me down and I was able to get Damond to the vet. Not knowing if my cat would survive, I sat in the waiting room for the news. All of the sudden, in walked my boyfriend comforting me and waiting with me to see what the vet said. Fortunately, it was just a broken leg that could be fixed. While I was tending to the vet, my boyfriend paid the entire vet bill. This from a man who hated cats. <br /><br />After Damond came home he started getting to know the cat and they became causal friends. During this time, I realized I could see this man as my husband one day. Here was a man who hated cats, but realized just how important this animal was to me so he made the decision to accept him and take a chance. When Damond eventually had to be put to sleep, my then hubby was there with tears in his eyes saying goodbye to the cat that he grew to love. <br /><br />After 15 years of being married, I love my husband more than ever. <br /><br />Tearesa <strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-02-13T18:58:00Z
Doing What is Right and Honorable - Winner of Lovey Dovey Contest
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Doing-What-is-Right-and-Honorable---Winner-of-Lovey-Dovey-Contest/-608028803544943038.html
2015-02-13T18:57:00Z
2015-02-13T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><strong><span><br /></span></strong>I began dating my husband-to-be when I was 22 and my mother was dying of cancer. In her last weeks, she really couldn't breathe and had to go into the hospital. My dad, brothers, sister and I took shifts so she would never be alone. It was profoundly sad, and very scary. My husband-to-be, although working himself, would sit with me through my many hour shifts. He was a neighborhood boy who knew my mom, but not well. <br /><br />To this day he has no trouble doing what is right and honorable when it comes to people who are suffering and perhaps difficult to be with. For years as my dad grew increasingly dependent, he served him like a son, never horrified by the indignities of old age. He is also very comfortable with my severely autistic 20-year-old nephew, who is not potty trained or verbal, but very loving. <br /><br />This is not lovey dovey story in the traditional sense, but his show of love convinced me he was the one. <br /><br />Rose<strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-02-13T18:57:00Z
He Is a Kind Soul - Winner of Lovey Dovey Contest
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Is-a-Kind-Soul---Winner-of-Lovey-Dovey-Contest/130053161206458026.html
2015-02-13T18:56:00Z
2015-02-13T18:56:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><strong><span><br /></span></strong>I met my husband when I began working at a car dealership where he was the service manager. We hadn't even started dating yet - that was a year away - but I noticed something he did that I had never seen before in this environment. When he would go over to a client who was seated to discuss the work being done, he would not speak down to them while standing; he would kneel next to them so they wouldn't have to get up. I'm not sure too many people really noticed it, but it struck me, from the first day I started working there, that he was a kind soul. It didn't take long after we were dating to know that his kindness carried through to all parts of his life. <br /><br />Twenty-one years later, he is still always kind to my parents who are sometimes extremely hard to be kind to, he is a strong male role model to our 15-year-old son and his kindness has taught our son to respect those around him. My husband went to law school after we were married. He was 39 at the time. Today he is a respected elder law attorney who treats his elderly clients with such dignity and grace. They adore him, as do I. <br /><br />I have been fortunate enough to be the primary recipient of his kindness for the last two decades! It doesn't even matter to me if I win prizes for these words. I already have my prize and am happy that I can share these thoughts with at least one reader. <br /><br />Thank you for asking and letting us share. Be well, <br /><br />Olga<br /><br />My husband's girlfriend since 1994<strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-02-13T18:56:00Z
After a Day Care Worker Was Arrested
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/After-a-Day-Care-Worker-Was-Arrested/798513307309707447.html
2015-02-12T18:58:00Z
2015-02-12T18:58:00Z
<br />Hi, Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I responded online to this arrest that mommas need to raise their babies. I received negative and often hostile responses. I've tried to clarify some of the haters' wrong assumptions with this follow up post: <br />
<blockquote>"I never said a woman shouldn't work...I have my bachelor's degree and have worked my entire marriage. The military has moved my family 19 times - never to a town where we had any family or friends helping out. What I said was babies need their mommas. When we made the decision to have children we committed to being the ones to raise them. It hasn't been easy - but we do it by driving a 14-year-old car, and don't care that our current kitchen has blue linoleum counters and 1970's appliances. We did it by working opposite shifts or days and not making my career goal to reach an executive level which it should have years ago. No title is more important than 'Mom' and there is nothing you can 'provide' for a child more valuable than your time. <br /><br />So many women aren't working to put food on the table - they are working to keep up with the Jones. That was my point. If that's not you - no need to be so defensive. I stand by my opinion that babies need their mommas and wish more woman would sacrifice other things to be the ones at home with them. And if you are working to put food on the table, and have downsized out of your new iPhone, and designer purse, then maybe as women we should consider that a bird won't lay eggs if it doesn't have a safe, proper nest. As moms, we should become a little more bird brained. I've only tried to, very civilly and politely give my opinion. It was met with some pretty rude and hostile wrong assumptions about me. This final post will probably just get more people cussing me out - calling me un-educated. Let's put our energy towards praying for this child instead." <br /></blockquote>
I'm really proud I opened my online mouth. Even if our house will probably get egged. Good news - the military is moving us AGAIN this summer, so only have to look over my shoulder in this town for a few more months Now, I'm going to go take on the day! <br /><br /><br />Stephanie<br />My Kids' Mom & My Husband's Girlfriend <strong><span><br /></span></strong>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-02-12T18:58:00Z
My Erroneous Presumption of You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Erroneous-Presumption-of-You/231646904111465715.html
2015-02-12T18:57:00Z
2015-02-12T18:57:00Z
<br />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I first heard about you many years ago when I heard the name of your book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." I never read any part of the book, I just automatically presumed you were a raging liberal and had a very poor opinion of men and husbands. I remember thinking, "What does she think a husband is? Something you put in a cage and give a cracker to now and then?" Because of this assumption, I missed so much!! <br /><br />About 11 years ago, I watched an interview with you. I realized I had misjudged you. I was so impressed by your interview that I immediately bought the book and read it. Oh my!! How I wish I would have known you many years ago. I have been divorced for 25 years. However, I hope to be married someday. I can assure you that because of you, if I am ever blessed to be married again, I am going to be the most wonderful and loving wife and his girlfriend FOREVER. This is a direct gift from you. <br /><br />I am an avid listener to your daily program; I am trying to absorb every moment to make up for the years I lost. You are truly a blessing, Dr. Laura. Thank you for all you do. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Janie </p>
Staff
2015-02-12T18:57:00Z
Women Need to Resist Evil
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Women-Need-to-Resist-Evil/-325363337499016101.html
2015-02-11T18:58:00Z
2015-02-11T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal">Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I completely appreciated <a href="/b/Children-Do-Know-When-Mom-Is-Being-Abused/257066434254559237.html" target="_blank">Raeann's Email of the Day</a> - about her two small daughters who stayed by their parents' bedroom door to make sure their mother was okay as their "father" abused her. Raeann had the courage to leave him. Yay Raeann!! <br /><br />I know that's not always the case, many women are too weak to leave. I was the youngest of four children and my older siblings had to witness my "father" beat my mother at least once a week. My mother had black eyes and fat lips. She was cussed out in the morning before he left for work and was cussed out when he came home from work. My sister never wanted it to get dark outside because that would mean our "father" would be coming home from work soon. Our "father" also couldn't keep a job, gambled our money and had affairs. <br /><br />Raeann resisted evil. I'm sure she was scared, she probably had nowhere to go, but she left anyway! Women need to know, if they stay with an abuser and continue to be abused, they are enabling EVIL. Please women, if you are married to or living with an abuser, leave NOW. This wrecks children, even when the grown children can move forward and have healthy lives and families, the nightmare and he'll never go away. <br /><br />I don't consider myself to have earthly parents even though they are still alive. I refer to them as idiots and I try everyday not to be an idiot. I have strong ties with my church members and I also have my "Mother Laura". I am so grateful for you because you help people get out of their own way and lead their best lives. I also love you for being such a strong advocate for children. Thank you Dr. Laura for your work in this important mission and blessings to your sweet family! <br /><br />Susana <strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-02-11T18:58:00Z
Saying Goodbye to Starbucks and Hello to Vets
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Saying-Goodbye-to-Starbucks-and-Hello-to-Vets/434051017379189549.html
2015-02-11T18:57:00Z
2015-02-11T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal">Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Today, I had an eye-opening event. I realized for the past 5 years, Starbucks was bringing the worst out of me on an almost daily basis. I don't drink coffee, but wanted to get aboard the Starbucks craze. I came up with a tall vanilla chai latte: 3 pump vanilla, 3 pump chai, non-fat milk, no foam, no water, at 170 calories. It's a sweet treat and a lovely start to my day. NOT!!!!! 90 percent of the month the barista makes it wrong, tons of foam, watery, regular milk, etc. I would ask them to make it over. They would get mad, and now I am the bitch. I just didn't realize it took a rocket scientist to make my drink. I couldn't take it anymore. After they made it wrong again for the 100th time, I decided I would take the $3.75 I spent daily for a stupid drink and donate the money to your cause, <a href="http://www.operationfamilyfund.org/" target="_blank">Operation Family Fund</a>. I will probably lose a few pounds, start my day off happy, and make a vet happy too. I wish I would've thought of this sooner. <br /><br />Dancing Di<strong><span><br /></span></strong></p>
Staff
2015-02-11T18:57:00Z
After Tragedy, Love Came Again
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/After-Tragedy,-Love-Came-Again/628309287020942322.html
2015-02-10T18:58:00Z
2015-02-10T18:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />A few years ago, my wife of 18 years and mother of my seven children passed away suddenly from a condition called spontaneous coronary artery dissection. I left for work at 8:00 with her showing no signs of anything wrong, and by the time I got to the hospital at 11:00, she was gone. My baby girl was five months old at the time and my oldest child was fifteen. <br /><br />I began to contemplate life moving forward. I couldn't fathom any woman in her right mind would want to marry a man with seven kids still living at home. I decided I would probably be single for quite a while. <br /><br />When my wife was alive, we were part of a small group at our church. I suddenly found myself feeling like a fifth wheel around them. A lady from church, who I have known for years, began asking how I was doing. I told how I was feeling around my married friends, and she completely understood since she was divorced. It was nice for someone to understand. <br /><br />We continued communicating and were amazed at how much we had in common. We start dating. My mom suggested my girlfriend come to the house to see what life with seven kids is like. So she did. What I saw was her loving and establishing relationships with my kids. Finally, I proposed to her, and she said yes. We decided to wait a year to get married. Then my three older children told me they wanted to talk to me. My daughter said, "Dad, do you love her?" I said, "Yes, I do." My daughter said, "Then why are you waiting a year to get married? We're ready for her to be here now." We were married three weeks later. <br /><br />It was quite a transition for her. Her son was an adult, so she had raised her kid. Now she was starting all over. She came into my family and took on the role of mother in the most wonderful way. All of the kids call her Mom, and she loves them like she gave birth to them. <br /><br />I listen to your show and make sure I am doing what I need to do to be a good husband and father. I am blessed to have all of them! Thank you! <br /><br />Paul</p>
Staff
2015-02-10T18:58:00Z
30 Days of Carrying My Wife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/30-Days-of-Carrying-My-Wife/254062252754496618.html
2015-02-10T18:57:00Z
2015-02-10T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3228500734msonormal"><strong><span><br />30 Days of Carrying My Wife</span></strong></p>
<br />I got home one night and, as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, "I want a divorce." She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words. Instead, she softly asked me why. I avoided the question, and this made her angry. She threw down the chopsticks and shouted, "You are not a man!"... <br /><br />With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement stating that she could keep the house, the car, and a 30% share of my company. She glanced at it and tore it to pieces... <br /><br />In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but requested that for the next month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month, and she didn't want to disrupt him with a broken marriage. <br /><br />She also asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day, and requested that I now carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning for the month's duration. I thought she was going crazy, but to make our last days together bearable, I accepted her odd request. <br /><br />Read the entire story <a href="http://www.godfruits.com/9820/man-wanted-divorce-wife-with-cancer-story.php?ref=8d129t44p" target="_blank">here</a>. <br />
Staff
2015-02-10T18:57:00Z
A Different Sound of Happiness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Different-Sound-of-Happiness/798120949427723318.html
2015-02-09T18:58:00Z
2015-02-09T18:58:00Z
<br /><br />A real estate broker in our area, Nick Peters, sent out a wonderful post in this month's newsletter. I thought your readers might like it. - Jules <br /><br />
<blockquote>Recently I was watching 16-year-old boy play soccer. I LOVE watching sports and love watching him play. But that day, it was hot; really hot. No shade anywhere. You could hear yourself and the other parents sweating. I was more concerned about shade and water than watching my boy. <br /><br />Generally, our group of dedicated parents is pretty quiet. We chat, but we aren't yellers about the game. This is in part because our coach sometimes dons a shirt that simply says: "THEY PLAY. I COACH. YOU CHEER." Succinct, huh? Therefore, our sideline tends to be a quiet, respectful place. <br /><br />One family often brings their son Karl whose younger brother is on the team; he is always in a special wheelchair. Karl - not his real name - seems to have a fairly serious condition. It is clear he has multiple issues. After being near him many times over the season, it was my impression he was pretty unaware of his surroundings, and wasn't able to communicate in anything other than jerky movements, and guttural sounds. If Karl got really noisy, one of his parents would calmly shift over and do something that seemed to soothe him. Sometimes, I noticed, it was to adjust his headphones that were often over his ears. I assumed he liked music. <br /><br />One day, while we were all quietly watching the game, Karl started moving about in his chair and making very loud grunts and shrieks. To be honest, it startled me at first. I wasn't ready for it. My guess is everyone nearby also noticed his wild gestures or loud sounds. As expected, his mom casually stepped over to him and did something with his music player that instantly calmed Karl down. I asked her what she did. "Oh, I am sorry about the noise," she said. "Karl gets really excited when a song comes on that he loves. I turned it down. He'll be quieter now." <br /><br />This is one thing about me: I have a HUGE soft spot for any special needs person, child or adult. I am sure it stems from my 13 years in the Autistic/special needs community. At that moment I cared a lot more about Karl being happy than anything else, so I nicely insisted to his mom that she turn his music back up. For a precious moment, she looked at me, maybe not sure I was serious. She probably hasn't heard that kind of request in a while, if ever. But I was serious. If a cacophony of grunts and shrieks is what happiness sounds like, then I wanted to hear more. Deep down, I think we all live for small moments, brief ones, sometimes lasting only a few seconds. It doesn't take long for truth to be realized, or for two people to "get" what is happening, or for many people to hear, for maybe the first time, a different sound of happiness. You know what I mean?
<p> </p>
</blockquote>
Staff
2015-02-09T18:58:00Z
The Power of Music
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Power-of-Music/-209238900666521441.html
2015-02-09T18:57:00Z
2015-02-09T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br />Hi, Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I listen to your podcast constantly, and appreciate you in so many ways. I'm a NYC schoolteacher who has a snow day today, so I was doing a little Internet surfing based on my interests. Your frequent advice about putting on an iPod with personalized music is why I am writing today. I am watching the most amazing documentary on Netflix called "Alive Inside". It is a music therapy program for nursing home residents based on that exact idea. To see these people come alive from being near-shells is absolutely amazing. I hope you will take a peek. I have a feeling you're going to love it and be inspired. I actually just paused it so that I could write you immediately. <br /><br />Click <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IaB5Egej0TQ" target="_blank">here</a> to read a little more about it. <br /><br />Victoria</p>
Staff
2015-02-09T18:57:00Z
Accomplishing Things When I'm Not Motivated
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Accomplishing-Things-When-Im-Not-Motivated/455326653923159089.html
2015-02-06T18:58:00Z
2015-02-06T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />What I do to start being productive when I'm not feeling motivated: </p>
<ol>
<li>If my lack of motivation is because I'm worn out, I give myself a day or two to rest and re-energize.</li>
<br />
<li>I remind myself of how much better I will feel once the dark cloud of responsibility is eased by progress.</li>
<br />
<li>I break the process down into smaller and more manageable pieces so I do not become overwhelmed and discouraged by all there is to do.</li>
<br />
<li>I take one of the smaller chunks and do it, receiving appropriate relief and gratification now that I'm on the path to accomplishing the goal. Each such step makes what's left, smaller.</li>
<br />
<li>Finally, when most of the easy or smaller stuff is done, I'm left with one or two larger pieces. Fixing the goal firmly in my mind, I usually just power through until completion, keeping firmly in mind the end is in sight and I will feel such relief and satisfaction that it will be worth it. </li>
</ol> It's a great way to grow, learn skills and gain true self-respect. Who knew that it would also gain the respect of others? <br /><br />Thanks for all you do! <br /><br />Dale
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-02-06T18:58:00Z
Some Humor Going Around the Internet
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Some-Humor-Going-Around-the-Internet/666698928569312877.html
2015-02-06T18:57:00Z
2015-02-06T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br />I received this email from my cousin in Texas and thought you would enjoy it: <br /><br />Semper Fi A large group of Isis fighters in Iraq are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune: "One Marine is better than ten Isis fighters". The Isis commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the dune where a gun battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence. <br /><br />The voice once again calls out: "One Marine is better than one hundred Isis 'S.O.B.'s'". Furious, the Isis commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence. <br /><br />The voice calls out again: "One Marine is better than a thousand Isis fighters." The enraged Isis commander musters 1,000 fighters and sends them to the other side of the dune. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible battle is fought... then silence. Eventually, one badly wounded Isis fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men... it's a trap. There're two of them." <br /><br />Best from an avid listener and supporter, <br /><br />C J</p>
Staff
2015-02-06T18:57:00Z
Corporal 'Roger That'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Corporal-Roger-That/497131723897770208.html
2015-02-05T18:58:00Z
2015-02-05T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /> Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Regarding the phone call from Corporal "Roger That"...three things: <br /><br /></p>
<ol>
<li>His humbleness was beyond words - left me speechless...</li>
<br />
<li>Too bad his son is only 12 years old as I could only hope my daughter will marry a man who has a father as such. She's 21 so that probably won't work.</li>
<br />
<li>Thank you for a taking a break. You weren't the only one who needed to pull it back together! </li>
</ol>
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br />Thank you for all you do...to see someone save a life is a remarkable thing. I believe you not only saved a life, but a husband and a wonderful daddy for the years to come! <br /><br />Thank you Corporal "Roger That"! You make me proud to be an American! <br /><br />Joanne <br /><br />Listen to the original call <a href="/pg/jsp/charts/audioMaster.jsp?dispid=306&pid=105069" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2015-02-05T18:58:00Z
Lifted My Spirits
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lifted-My-Spirits/529642054258779747.html
2015-02-05T18:57:00Z
2015-02-05T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br />Good Morning. <br /><br />Thank-you so much for one of your suggestions I heard on your program: If you are depressed, load up you iPod with happy songs and it will lift your spirits. Not sure of the exact quote, but you get the picture. <br /><br />I am a 68-year-old wife and mother. My husband has been in law enforcement for 40 years and 2 of our 3 sons are also in law enforcement. The other is overseas in not the best place in the world. Twelve years ago, we moved away from our lifetime home town for a new job and I have missed family and friends terribly. I have also had serious health issues for several years and on top of things, my 99-year-old mother just passed away. <br /><br />I am usually a very positive, upbeat person and was surprised I was feeling so down. I took a long look at my life and realized I had been through several tough things. When I was able to recognize why I was feeling the way I was, the idea of some of my favorite songs on an iPod sounded like the ticket I needed. I am not saying all is cured, but I can say I have so much to be thankful for and listening to upbeat music has helped a great deal. I won't mention all the songs I have downloaded, but there is one: Taylor Swift's "Shake It Off", the song the police officer was singing in his car. His dancing made me smile so much, I had to add it to my list. <br /><br />I have listened to you for years and to be frank, happy I have not really had the need to call, but hearing you speak to others obviously has helped me. So thank-you, thank-you for your wonderful service to others! You are the best... <br /><br />Jane</p>
Staff
2015-02-05T18:57:00Z
Family Does Not Have to Be Blood Related
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Family-Does-Not-Have-to-Be-Blood-Related/218756354906355235.html
2015-02-04T18:58:00Z
2015-02-04T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br />Hi, Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Your advice about the myth of family is true for so many. I grew up as the third of 4 children, and the first girl. Anytime anything went wrong in the family circumstance, I was the one who was expected to sacrifice my own life to assist. My brothers rarely helped and certainly did not support me emotionally or physically during these times. My younger sister grew up listening to how terrible I was and continues to try to "save me from myself". <br /><br />My father never liked me. I was too outspoken, too independent, too everything for him. Truth? I reminded him of his mother, whom he despised. <br /><br />I am almost 62 and have a fantastic husband, three great sons, horses for my fun and friends of all ages and backgrounds. I have systematically been distancing myself from my family and my life gets richer and more pleasant without them. We have a family reunion once per year and get all family together at Christmas. I am polite, interested in what they have to say, and delighted to say goodbye. <br /><br />Please keep stressing that family are the people who love you for you and don't crap on you for what they want you to be and can't, nor want to be. <br /><br />Doris </p>
Staff
2015-02-04T18:58:00Z
He Still Twinkles My Toes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Still-Twinkles-My-Toes/-322255642986354307.html
2015-02-04T18:57:00Z
2015-02-04T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br />The day I knew I was in love with my dance partner was on 9/11. I realized then he was the most important person in my life and I did not want to lose him. We had been dance partners for several years, dancing, going out to dinner, church, yoga classes, and even traveling together. I left a message at his office. <br /><br />He was on a business trip and stuck in San Francisco because the airplanes were grounded. When he was finally able to get back home the Los Angeles area, we sat down and talked. I was worried about dating; after all, it is much easier to find a boyfriend than a good dance partner! But we agreed it was worth the risk. We formally dated for two years, married with our dance friends present, and have been married eleven years. My husband became ill almost three years ago and I have become his caretaker. I'm still madly in love with him and I'm glad we had that friendship before deciding to marry. <br /><br />Karen </p>
Staff
2015-02-04T18:57:00Z
I Guess We Were 'Meant to Be'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Guess-We-Were-Meant-to-Be/203327631092965330.html
2015-02-03T18:57:00Z
2015-02-03T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br />I met my husband 15 years ago and the way we met, still gives me chills. <br /><br />I was working full-time at a tech corporation and my male co-worker became a very good friend. He wanted my opinion on a single-family home he was thinking of purchasing. I told him the house was a great buy in a great community. Eventually, he bought the house. <br /><br />Months later, he told me about the wonderful neighbors he had and could not say enough about them. He asked me if I would be interested in a blind date with a guy the neighbors knew. I told him "no". I guess I wasn't very convincing because my co-worker hounded me to go on a date with this guy for about 2 years. <br /><br />In the meantime, I decided to try my hand at telephone dating, this was before online dating. Same kind of concept. Trust me, it was depressing. I found out most people lied about their physical descriptions; as well as their true professions. On my last day of doing this, a guy I had spoken with about one month prior wanted to talk again. With a bad attitude, I agreed. He didn't believe me when I said we'd talked before. Begrudgingly, I met him at a local joint for iced tea. To be honest, I mostly listened while he talked, and it was delightful. After several hours, he walked me to my car. <br /><br />We were dating for several months when my co-worker called me and asked if I was sitting. He stated the guy I was dating is the same guy he had tried to set me up with for 2 years! But that wasn't all, his wonderful neighbors happen to be the guy's sister and brother-in-law! They were tired of the type of girls he had been dating and wanted someone of substance for him. My co-worker offered my name and the rest is history. We married 14 years ago. <br /><br />Donna</p>
Staff
2015-02-03T18:57:00Z
I Want More Books
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Want-More-Books/861562166014731806.html
2015-02-03T18:56:00Z
2015-02-03T18:56:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Thank you for being who you are. I have read almost every one of your books. I can't wait to purchase the few I haven't read. It is because of you that I am my kid's mom and my husband's girlfriend. <br /><br />My life was headed in a much different direction and then someone handed me the book "Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives." It changed my life! When I was feeling sorry for myself and my difficult childhood, I picked up your other book "Bad Childhood, Good Life." I actually keep that one by my sofa at all times and read small sections whenever I'm feeling sorry for myself. I can't begin to tell you what you have done for me and my family! Thank you for all that you do! I'm eagerly awaiting more books by you! <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Janel</p>
Staff
2015-02-03T18:56:00Z
How I Met My Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Met-My-Husband/-455523302513692720.html
2015-02-02T18:58:00Z
2015-02-02T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br />I will make this short, but it's pretty telling. Twenty five years ago, I was working at my desk at the phone company. Unexpectedly my supervisor sent over a new sales manager to sit with me and just watch what I was doing so he could get familiar with procedures. He sat next to me very seriously watching what I was typing into a computer. He didn't smile. He didn't laugh. He didn't speak. He did respond to me a little. However, after a few hours, he got up and walked away from me. <br /><br />Then, out of nowhere I heard "a voice" in the office say, "One day that man is going to mean everything to you". I was shocked. I was single, in a long time, happy relationship. I wasn't looking or thinking of changing anything in my life. However, three years later, we were married. It's been 22 years and we have a happy and healthy relationship. Pretty amazing to me. <br /><br />Sheryl</p>
Staff
2015-02-02T18:58:00Z
Common Reasons for Breakups
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Common-Reasons-for-Breakups/-31379865661001373.html
2015-02-02T18:57:00Z
2015-02-02T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br />Hi Dr Laura. <br /><br />I believe too many people are looking for or getting into a relationship for too many wrong reasons. Some want to be "happy", some are afraid to be on their own, some think it gives them more meaning to their life, and some just "want" it. Most people look for "eye candy" and don't care what qualities that person possesses. Or the first person who shows them any attention, they attach themselves to only to realize they aren't the person they wish they were. They then find themselves wanting out or wanting more. This is the point at which children get hurt and lives are ruined. <br /><br />So to sum it all up, common reasons for breakups are people not appreciating who someone else is or isn't. I learned in my 52 years of life is that we need to love our spouses for who they are, but also for who they are not! Just my two cents! <br /><br />I love your program. It has formed me and made me the man I am today! Keep talking, preaching, and nagging! No words could ever thank you enough. And... you make me laugh! <br /><br />Albert</p>
Staff
2015-02-02T18:57:00Z
A Caller's Playbook
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Callers-Playbook/-258227681653066772.html
2015-01-28T18:57:00Z
2015-01-28T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />If you call Dr. Laura, you must be prepared: <br /><br /></p>
<ul>
<li>Don't waste time explaining you're nervous or scared. </li>
<br />
<li>Skip "I know, but" "I feel like," "I guess" or "It's just..." </li>
<br />
<li>Answer her questions--this is a <strong>MUST</strong>. </li>
<br />
<li>If you say you're divorced, you must tell her WHY If you're playing the victim, then don't start to cry Never "talk over" the Doctor you've called. </li>
<br />
<li>If you keep interrupting, your progress is stalled! </li>
<br />
<li>Forget third person questions--just deal with you And dear Dr. Laura will explain what to do. </li>
<br />
<li>Saying you'll "try" is as lame as it gets Hang up and GET IT TO IT, before you forget! </li>
<br />
<li><strong>Be a good listener, no matter your strife And her answers will help us ALL improve our lives! </strong></li>
</ul>
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br />You are the best! <br /><br />Love xo Diana<br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-01-28T18:57:00Z
Should I Get Upset My Wife Sees Rich, Romantic, Handsome Men on TV?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Should-I-Get-Upset-My-Wife-Sees-Rich,-Romantic,-Handsome-Men-on-TV/-938630567145344218.html
2015-01-23T18:58:00Z
2015-01-23T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I appreciate how you handle calls from wives concerned their husbands are viewing porn. And please note, this letter is not to defend porn. <br /><br />Many women fail to realize men and women literally think differently. Because SHE doesn't like or isn't interested in it, HE isn't supposed enjoy it. Some women object because they think they're supposed to object and many of those can't give a rational answer as to why. Dr. Laura, you're on-target when you say some women get upset because the women in such media often look hotter or will do things the wife won't. But do their husbands object to them reading romance novels, watching romantic comedies/action-adventure/fantasy movies with perfectly romantic, daring, chiseled hunks their husbands could never rival? Do their husbands forbid them from watching media in which the husbands are bringing home bigger paychecks? <br /><br />I'm an evangelical Christian and in Christian media and sermons, I hear way more dire warnings about the evils and destructive nature of porn than I hear reminders about the sins of gossip, greed, and gluttony combined. <br /><br />People have lost perspective on this issue. Some say viewing porn is the same thing as having an affair. Granted viewing porn is wrong, but saying that it's as bad as an affair is ridiculous. Pixels don't have abortions, give birth to children who will be entitled to the marriage's income, give a husband a disease he can transmit to his wife, don't show up at your home or workplace to assault you, etc. Even if he gets all the sex he wants and is married to the hottest woman on the planet, a husband may still, from time to time, take a look at nudes or porn, because that is male nature. It may be a fallen nature, as I believe, but it is normal. When I see a woman disagreeing with that and saying her husband doesn't even look at other women, I know he's either hiding it from her, or he's overcome, at great effort, his normal biology, and she doesn't even appreciate his accomplishment for what it is. Thanks for bringing perspective. <br /><br />Kenneth <br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-01-23T18:58:00Z
Research vs. Counseling
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Research-vs.-Counseling/892818857048627520.html
2015-01-23T18:57:00Z
2015-01-23T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />I wanted to THANK YOU for making the decision to pursue the field of counseling as opposed to research. During one of your programs, you said you were faced with the decision to pursue research in "a lab" or to go in to family therapy. I for one, am so glad you chose the latter. I have grown as a man, husband and father because of your decision to take the route you did. Not only have you helped me in my marriage and parenting, but in my workplace. Your decision to pursue the route of counseling rather than research has changed thousands of lives. Your investment in the lives of people will pay dividends for generations upon generations. <br /><br />One day, my kids will do the palm to the forehead and say "Oh man, Dad was right, she does make sense". <br /><br />Blessings to you and your family, <br /><br />Tom<br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-01-23T18:57:00Z
Boys Who Treat Girls Cruelly
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Boys-Who-Treat-Girls-Cruelly/319947351133780028.html
2015-01-22T18:58:00Z
2015-01-22T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Dr. Laura: <br /><br />I was listening to your program today about the call regarding the mom who took her daughter over to a friend's house with several children. The boys were picking on the girls and her daughter came downstairs in tears. The mother progressed to tell the boy that he was wrong. When the boy snickered at the mom, she yelled at him. The mother was second-guessing herself and you told her she was correct in her actions. <br /><br />Here is a personal experience that can reassure the mother she did the right thing: When I was 16, I babysat two brothers. On several occasions the older brother, who was 10-years-old, would try to grab me in an inappropriate manner. I told the mother and she basically said boys will be boys and not to worry. Finally, one day when he lunged at me and tried to grab my breast, I was done. I called his mother, told her what he had done and I would stick around until she got home but that was my final day. Needless to say, she was extremely angry at me and told the whole neighborhood I was a liar. She said her son was a perfect boy and would never do anything like that. She also said I abandoned her sons and I couldn't be trusted to babysit other children in the neighborhood. <br /><br />Fast forward 10 years... the little angel drugged and raped a 14-year-old girl. Hmmm I guess mommy and daddy didn't see that one coming. <br /><br />Ann</p>
Staff
2015-01-22T18:58:00Z
Nanny vs. Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Nanny-vs.-Mother/173488881910085492.html
2015-01-22T18:57:00Z
2015-01-22T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Do these people want a nanny or a mother? Sounds like one and the same to me! <br /><br />Rosemary<br /><br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/letters_012215.jpg" alt="" width="301" height="344" /></p>
Staff
2015-01-22T18:57:00Z
The 'D' Word
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-D-Word/178708999639648273.html
2015-01-21T18:58:00Z
2015-01-21T18:58:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I just want to drop you a line to thank you for what you do. My husband died 4 years ago and for a long time, I also dreaded using the "d" word. I heard the call that you took from a woman who dreaded using that word for her daughter; and it was an eye-opening moment for me. Thank you for providing the understanding behind that word. Your words comforted me during those times. I just discovered you, less than 6 months after the incident happened, and I don't know how many times I read and re-read the snippet that you have in the <a href="http://www.drlauraapps.com/" target="_blank">Dr. Laura app - Moral Compass</a> about death. <br /><br />I hope that you have a Dr. Laura of your own to help you through rough times. We have a now-15-year old daughter and you have been helping me raise her for the past 4 years. I'm a loyal podcast listener and I hang on to every word of wisdom that you give your callers. Thank you. <br /><br />love, <br />Hillary<br /><br /><br /><br />How do you handle the loss of a loved one? Share it with us,<span> by signing up for the FREE Dr. Laura Family and send an email </span><a href="https://www.drlaura.com/askdrlaura" target="_blank">here</a><span>. </span>
Staff
2015-01-21T18:58:00Z
Love Can Happen at Any Age
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Love-Can-Happen-at-Any-Age/787820712945517805.html
2015-01-21T18:58:00Z
2015-01-21T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Meeting the love of your life can happen at any age. We were both in our 60's, and both long divorced, approximately 2 decades. I had given up on ever finding someone to spend the rest of my life with and I grieved the loss of that hope. <br /><br />Although I can't carry a tune in a bucket, I was invited to a monthly folk music sing along. I had been attending regularly for a few years and had noticed a very quiet mandolin player, but didn't give him much thought. In Nov., 2012, we separately attended a wedding where we spoke for the first time. During the conversation it came up that I'm 8 years older than he. OK, so he was only in his 50's then. There's many more details to the story, but fast forward to February, 2013 when he finally asked me out to lunch. We laugh that our second date was when I took him in for a day surgery. We married Sept 20, 2014. <br /><br />2014 was not without challenges, but we couldn't be happier with each other. Every day we express our gratitude and love for each other. We feel truly blessed. <br /><br />Carollee</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-01-21T18:58:00Z
I Totally Get It Moment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Totally-Get-It-Moment/129498509492200871.html
2015-01-21T18:57:00Z
2015-01-21T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been listening to you for at least 20+ years, and have learned so much from your show, and for that, thank you! My husband also thanks you as he's totally hooked. <br /><br />This story involves my daughter-in-law of 4 years. For the 1st Anniversary of my son and daughter-in-law, I sent them "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands", along with some other books. I had read it and was always talking about it so I thought she or both of them would read it and learn. Well, unbeknownst to me, that wasn't the case, as per a text message I received last night from my daughter-in-law: <br /><br /></p>
<blockquote>Remember when you bought me this book. I tried to read it then and thought this is not for me, but last night, 3 years later, I picked it up again and totally get it. Thanks and I love u Wow!!! My jaw dropped, and then when I regained my composure, a HUGE SMILE went across my face! SHE TOTALLY GOT IT!!! HALLELUJAH!! You can imagine how proud I was for her and for me! She is a wonderful daughter-in-law to us, and an endearing wife to my son. And now SHE TOTALLY GETS IT! <br /><br /></blockquote>
Thank you again, Dr. Laura, for all your great advice and words of wisdom to those of us who desperately need it. Looking forward to listening to you for many more years.<br /> <br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Pamela
Staff
2015-01-21T18:57:00Z
How I Met My Spouse
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Met-My-Spouse/-168418700157889412.html
2015-01-20T18:58:00Z
2015-01-20T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />There was a woman who worked for me, so I knew her daughter as a teen. When she was about 19, I played on a coed softball team and invited her to play as a way to meet her. After about a year of playing on the same team, I got the courage to ask her out. I decided to wait until the last game of the season so if she turned me down it wouldn't be embarrassing. Well, my plan failed because she brought a guy with her to the game. <br /><br />About a week later, she called me to ask me out, except I was going out with one of her friends so I turned her down. Her friend bailed on me so I called her house. Her mom was still working for me and because of that was reticent to give me the number where I could reach her. We went out to the San Diego County fair that night and got married 1.5 years later and are still married 28 years later. <br /><br />Mark</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-01-20T18:58:00Z
Your Children's Book at Public School
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Your-Childrens-Book-at-Public-School/-419110023775756417.html
2015-01-20T18:57:00Z
2015-01-20T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My 7-year-old son and I are sitting down to write you an email about his successful school day! At his public school, he is required to participate in a reading program where the children read a book at their level for three days of the week. They each pick a book, take it home and read it to their family. They are then asked to take a reading comprehension quiz on the book. I was so excited when my son came home with your children's book: "Growing Up Is Hard." We had such a good time reading this story and talking about you! <br /><br />I've listened to you since I was in my teens and now I'm doing my best to pass on the family values and lessons you offer every day. My son and I had the BEST time discussing the book. At 7 years old, he is experiencing the same things as your character Sammy. My son took his test today and scored 100%! I was so proud of him. He was anxious to tell you and share his success. <br /><br />Thank you for all the work you put toward guiding and nurturing loving families! <br /><br />Meredith</p>
Staff
2015-01-20T18:57:00Z
The Rest Is History
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Rest-Is-History/31335345029191435.html
2015-01-19T18:58:00Z
2015-01-19T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br /></p>
<p>My wife and I have known each other since I was 7 years old and she was 6 years old. Our parents went to the same church. Pretty common, I suppose. Then we moved 100 miles away when I was 12.</p>
<p>Thirteen years later, my sister moved back to the area and became a school teacher at the same school where my now wife was also a teacher. My sister re-introduced us and, as they say, the rest is history. We've been married 35 years now with 5 kids and 8 grandkids.</p>
<p>A few interesting side notes; my mom found old pictures where my wife was at birthday parties for my sister; my father-in-law was the principal where my sister and wife were teaching when we were re-introduced; and finally, I didn't remember her at first because when we moved, I wasn't old enough to be interested in girls. But the more I thought about it, I did eventually remember her.</p>
<p>Kerry</p>
<p><img src="/images/blog/letter_011915.jpg" alt="" width="600" height="545" /></p>
Staff
2015-01-19T18:58:00Z
Getting to Know Him; Getting to Know All About Him....
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Getting-to-Know-Him;-Getting-to-Know-All-About-Him..../-903186636655743607.html
2015-01-19T18:57:00Z
2015-01-19T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br /></p>
<p>Hi, Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I asked a guy who wanted to be "my man" if he would swim through shark infested waters to bring me a lemonade. He said he would NOT do something so foolish to endanger his life. I hope you know he was checked off my list right away.</p>
<p>Once I let him know of my dis-interest in him, he met a woman and married her within two months. I think he is a foolish man, but I think more importantly, she is a foolish woman. She did not get to know him to see if he had character, if he was truly loving, sacrificial, brave and a man of honor. I hear they are terribly happy, which is good as this is his third marriage.</p>
<p>I would not be happy now if I had chosen him. Thanks for making me a smarter woman than I might otherwise have been. I am NOT a feminist and want a man of principle and am willing to wait for him... Keep up the good work!!!</p>
<p>Ruth</p>
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2015-01-19T18:57:00Z
Hopefully Her Mother Will Give the Proper Advice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hopefully-Her-Mother-Will-Give-the-Proper-Advice/873237066637501136.html
2015-01-15T18:58:00Z
2015-01-15T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />After purchasing and reading both of your books, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage", I gave them to my wife to read. They were put aside for several months, so I asked her about them, but my wife refused to read either one. <br /><br />When my oldest step-son became engaged, I wrapped "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and gave it to his fiancé for her wedding shower. Several weeks after the wedding, I asked her if she had read the book. She admitted she hadn't, and then told me her mother borrowed it. Although things didn't work out as I had hoped, I take comfort in the fact that maybe someday when my daughter-in-law is not loving or patient with my step-son, she will get the proper advice from her mother. I plan to give the new couple the other book for their first anniversary. <br /><br />Gregory</p>
Staff
2015-01-15T18:58:00Z
Changing My Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-My-Life/921189550353792493.html
2015-01-15T18:57:00Z
2015-01-15T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I bought a new car in the last year and now have Sirius XM Radio. I discovered your program one day and I have to admit at first I was shocked at how blunt you were with your callers. So in the beginning I was just listening for the entertainment value because I thought you were outrageous. But the longer I listened the more I realized you were right on. <br /><br />Since I work full-time, I subscribe to your podcasts. Now every morning instead of turning on the TV while I eat my breakfast, I listen to you and the same goes for my dinner hour. On the weekends while I'm listening sometimes my sister will call and she listens through the phone. She loves you, too. <br /><br />As I listen to each caller, I focus on how their situation could be applied to my life and that has helped me deal with my family members. The other day it hit me that you represent the mother I never had and it was very comforting. Your guidance has helped me become more centered and a better person. My sister told me she even has noticed a difference in me since I started listening to your program. So thank you, Dr. Laura, for "doing the right thing" and changing so many lives for the better. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Peggy</p>
Staff
2015-01-15T18:57:00Z
Relationship Warning Signs
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Relationship-Warning-Signs/3560595546186858.html
2015-01-14T18:58:00Z
2015-01-14T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />These past 2 years, I have been free from a relationship with a psychopath. In the beginning, it was a dream come true relationship: attentiveness; caring; calling to check on me and just having much in common. Four months into the relationship, I saw the red flag. I kept thinking, why would I want to lose a gem of a guy? Yet I chose to ignore: accusations, jealousy, wanting to know my whereabouts, etc. There were numerous break ups and each time he would cry how he loved and missed me, and begged for another chance. And stupid me did. After arguing over some business matter he was angry that I sided with the customer and not him. Afterwards he hit me. I hit him back, left and filed charges. I feel grateful it was only a short while of time with him. <br /><br />Don't ignore the red flags! <br /><br />Thank you Dr Laura! <br /><br />Alison</p>
Staff
2015-01-14T18:58:00Z
While They're Still Young Enough to Listen
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/While-Theyre-Still-Young-Enough-to-Listen/-148020345082394871.html
2015-01-14T18:57:00Z
2015-01-14T18:57:00Z
<br /><br />I am so excited. My daughter decided to do the right thing and close her shops to be home with her children. Here is what she wrote to her patrons: <br /><br />
<blockquote>To our amazingly wonderful customers and fans of our store, <br /><br />We have an announcement to make! But first and foremost, thank you for your support over the last four years! This has been an amazing adventure and you have been there for me. With your support, we have won Best of State, Best of Utah, the Food Network TV show Cupcake Wars, Third Best Cupcakes in the Nation and one of the 75 Best Bakeries in America. We have been featured in the New York Times twice, SUCCESS magazine, Women's World, Deseret News, Salt Lake Tribune and many more. We are closing. The time has come for me to focus on my family. As some of you know, and many of you don't, I have four young children ages 10-3. As my hobby has grown from a home based creative outlet to multiple shops with 25 employees, they have been patient, understanding, loving and forgiving as only children can be. With my husband now working a full-time job, it has become too much for me to run both shops and give my family the time and attention they need. As much as I love baking, I love them more and they deserve as much time and attention as I can give to them while they're still young enough to listen. <br /><br />Thank you again for helping to turn a dream into a reality not just for myself, but for so many others as well. <br /><br /></blockquote>
Rebecca
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-01-14T18:57:00Z
Appreciate the Good Dads
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Appreciate-the-Good-Dads/-106183127277494642.html
2015-01-13T18:58:00Z
2015-01-13T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am a widowed mom of 4 great kids. <br /><br />During my entire childhood, my dad was a horrible person. He would use our social security numbers to get credit cards to pull cash out and then walk away from paying them back. By the time I was 18, I had horrible credit due to what my dad did. I left home at 17 and never looked back. <br /><br />Once I got married and had children, I decided to give my dad another chance because my mom asked me to. It was ok for a while, but when my mom died, Dad went back to his old ways. I wouldn't let him use my car anymore because he had his driver's license suspended. Because of that, he has tried to ruin my life, get me fired, and get me put in jail - anything to mess up my life. Restraining orders don't help. The police simply believe he is just old and mad - won't do anything to help me. <br /><br />My point is if you have a good father who truly loves you, appreciate him. On a daily basis, I get letters telling me that I should have been aborted; that I am a horrible excuse of a person and how my kids don't deserve to have a roof over their head. All this because I would not break the law for him and allow him to drive a car without a valid driver's license. He is 84 years old and I hate to say it, but I know this won't stop until he passes away. Appreciate the good dads because my life is a living hell with a bad one. <br /><br />Wendy</p>
Staff
2015-01-13T18:58:00Z
You Make Me Think
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Make-Me-Think/553681566629732276.html
2015-01-13T18:57:00Z
2015-01-13T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />Dr. Laura: <br /><br />I am a happily married man of 13 years with 4 wonderful daughters. My wife is a stay-at-home mom and loves it. She thanks me all the time for that opportunity and I thank her as well. I chose wisely. <br /><br />I started listening to you back in 1997. From 1997 to 2000, you made a huge impression on me that changed my life. I think about you and your commentary often, perhaps daily. I am passing on to my 4 daughters the values you have discussed so well. I continue to quote you to my family and staff. You've made such a difference in our lives. Your strength that I've witnessed the past 18 years is amazing. I simply wanted to say "Thank you". <br /><br />All my best, <br /><br />Jeffrey</p>
Staff
2015-01-13T18:57:00Z
How God and Dr. Laura Saved My Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-God-and-Dr.-Laura-Saved-My-Marriage/182797796908310174.html
2015-01-12T18:58:00Z
2015-01-12T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />This is a little long, but I thought you would enjoy this story. I have been happily married for 34 years. We got married rather young, but it has worked for us. <br /><br />All my children were very involved in sports, music, school... Two of my girls played the violin. I knew nothing about violins, but they chose their instruments. Just about every time I tuned one of the violins, I broke a string, so I was forever going to the shop. There was a nice man, around my age, that was always so helpful. As time went on, we would sort of flirt and laugh and talk a bit while I waited. One day he said to me he could order a tuner that would help me with this problem of breaking strings all the time. I put the order in and he asked for my email address. Of course I gave it to him. <br /><br />When I drove, I normally took the old truck. The radio in the truck would go on and off, so I usually kept it off and used this time to say a few words to the Good Man. On this particular day when checked my email, I had received an email from the gentleman in question. The email basically was very complimentary, and forward to say the least. I have to say I was flattered, only human. <br /><br />While driving, I talked to God about this guy. I explained to Him I wasn't going to tell my husband because I could handle it, and it really was nothing. Of course, the real reason was because I liked the attention. No sooner had I said that when the radio comes blasting on and your voice boomed out with "If you are hiding it from your husband, then it is wrong." The radio cut out after that. Needless to say, I went home and told my husband everything. He being the great man he is said, "Do you need my help?" I told him I didn't, but he should take care of the violins from now on. <br /><br />Dr. Laura, I have told this story for years, calling it my God moment. I just thought I should give you a little credit too. Hope you enjoy it. <br /><br />Kathleen<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-01-12T18:58:00Z
Not Going to Take It Personally
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Not-Going-to-Take-It-Personally/61220453387195679.html
2015-01-12T18:57:00Z
2015-01-12T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv1343320567msoplaintext"><br /><br />I was listening to your podcast when a young lady was discussing her mother defending her friend instead of her. Since her mother was not mentally healthy, you stated her mother had created a new family with this friend who was now her daughter. It was like you slapped me upside the head.... That is what my mother has done. She disowned me and has not spoken to me for over 4 years. She caters to another woman whose husband left her. I appreciated that you stated it was not about the caller, so I'm not going to take it personally. I called my aunt and let her listen to it. She was also appreciative of the fact to not take it personally. <br /><br />Thank you so much. It is a blessing to be able to listen to you to gain knowledge!! And like the caller, I will look to you as my mother to work toward healthier thinking!! <br /><br />Lisa</p>
Staff
2015-01-12T18:57:00Z
Doing Right by Our Boys
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Doing-Right-by-Our-Boys/-386872323091810896.html
2015-01-08T19:57:00Z
2015-01-08T19:57:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I do not have a question for you, but wanted to send you a personal note of "thanks." I have been following you for years, and I LOVE what you do for our society!! One of the things I love most about you is your willingness to say things as they are. <br /><br />Thank you for</p>
<ul>
<li>defending the role of stay-at-home moms.</li>
<li>encouraging people to stand up for what is right.</li>
<li>encouraging people to make the welfare of their children a top priority. </li>
</ul>
<p style="text-align: left;"><br />I am just "one person" out there, but your voice helped me arrive at the decision to continue seeking my education while staying at home with my little ones. I chose to work on my schooling online, so I did not have to worry about leaving them for hours at a time. I got up early and stayed up late so my kids never competed for my time. My husband has done the same - we both have our graduate degrees now...all while keeping me in the home with our boys. We have made several financial sacrifices, but we know we are doing "right" by our boys. We want them to have the "grit" you speak of...we want to provide them with the right "tools" to become strong, capable, and resilient adults. Thank you for all you have done for this "one family" you have inspired. <br /><br />Lisa</p>
Staff
2015-01-08T19:57:00Z
Your Words FINALLY Sank In
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Your-Words-FINALLY-Sank-In/-341410752822299674.html
2015-01-08T18:58:00Z
2015-01-08T18:58:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />My husband and I have been married for 14 years. I came into our marriage with 3 children and lots of baggage I was convinced was not my doing. Together, we had another daughter who is now a teenager. We had an extremely hard time of it with my older children. Imagine that! The older children left our home to move in with their father. <br /><br />I blamed my husband, not myself for all of the problems in our home. I withdrew more from him with every problem or issue we faced in our lives. I made it HELL for him! In turn, it became a living hell for me as well! My husband is a pilot and has provided a very comfortable life for us, until he was let go from a corporate flying job in our hometown. We moved 3 states away so he could continue to work. The job did not last long and he was let go. We moved back home, where I made the decision to leave our marriage. <br /><br />I separated from my husband two years ago, and not a day has gone by when he did not plead for me to save our marriage. I was buried in my own disappointment and hurt to even communicate with him. I ignored him, would not talk to him. He had a tough year, but the message of his love for me was constant. He began working again, and got his career on track. Then to top it all off, his mother died unexpectedly. I pulled even further away, refusing to comfort him. <br /><br />More time passed and we were weeks away from our divorce being finalized when he brought his new girlfriend to our daughter's cheerleading competition. I sat across the gym from him, and was hit with the realization the other woman was sitting with MY husband!! When I got home that night I texted him and asked him if it was too late for us. He responded that it was not too late and he has always, and would always, love me! We are working hard to find our way back to each other. It will not be easy, but we are both committed to each other. Knowing he has been with someone else physically has been hard for me to accept, but once we made the decision on which direction we were going, he has never looked back or even mentioned her name. He has only looked forward to our future, and I'm looking in the same direction...forward. <br /><br />He is flying right now, and will be home in two days, and I feel like a teenager planning our first date! I feel so blessed I realized he has always been, and will always be, my man, and I am his woman. <br /><br />Thank you for your years of wisdom. I have listened to your show everyday since you moved to SiriusXM. I never really heard you until that night in the gym. I am your biggest fan, Dr. Laura, I mean that sincerely! I am so glad your words finally sank in! God bless you! <br /><br />Jennifer <br /><br />P.S. My older children are all amazing despite everything I did to screw them up with my selfish decisions! My son served his country in the Marine Corps, and is very happily married with 2 sons. He has always had the same message to me...."Mom, save your marriage!!" </p>
Staff
2015-01-08T18:58:00Z
A Liar's Confession
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Liars-Confession/377924256103407329.html
2015-01-07T18:58:00Z
2015-01-07T18:58:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br />Dr. Laura, I lie. And I lie to the most important person in my life: my husband. He states, "I cleaned the windows. How do you like them?" "Great job," I reply as I looked through the large family room window at the water streaks. <br /><br />"I cleaned out the dishwasher for you." "Gee thanks." Why couldn't he put the dishes away instead of putting the dishes on the counter which is not less work for me. <br /><br />"Come and watch a documentary with me. I think you will like it." Damn I mentally mumble, I wanted to watch a movie I just got from Neflix that I waited three months for. "Sure, that would be great. I'd love too." <br /><br />"You want to go for an early dinner? Damn, I just came from a massage and I wanted to relax. "Sure let me get ready." I've got crease filler in the lines on my face, I hope the restaurant is darkly lit. <br /><br />What do get for lying? I have not filled my gas tank for 22 years. I get flowers at least 3 times a month. Sometimes after the movie, the situation becomes more interesting, if you get my drift. He fixes me omelets and tea. Seldom does a day go by that he doesn't kiss me or touch a body part. He opens car doors and lets me go first on elevators and escalators. There is no question in my mind he would swim through shark infested waters with a pack of piranhas following him to get me a lemonade. There are many other things he does to make my life happy as I do his. It is your fault, Dr. Laura that I lie. Your words tumble through my brain. "If you don't do it someone else will." <br /><br />Keep up the great work! <br /><br />Nancy<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2015-01-07T18:58:00Z
Divorce Proof Your Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Divorce-Proof-Your-Marriage/955121670233026547.html
2015-01-07T18:57:00Z
2015-01-07T18:57:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br />Here are some things I learned too late... </p>
<ul>
<li>We stopped honestly communicating about what we each needed from the marriage. </li>
<li>I found out through counseling we had not made an emotional connection so we could not weather the storms that arose. </li>
<li>I loved her, but she told me love was not enough. She wanted and needed the little acts of sexual and non-sexual touch which I had stopped doing, as I took it for granted she would never leave me. </li>
</ul>
<p style="text-align: left;"><br />I was so very, very wrong because the day came when she told me she was leaving me and walked out my front door. That day was December 27th, 2011 and I can't forget it or the pain and I doubt that I ever will. It was the day my life as I knew it ended for me. <br /><br />Now I don't really care about anyone or anything anymore. <br /><br />Ray</p>
Staff
2015-01-07T18:57:00Z
How I Got My Son, Then Lost Him
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Got-My-Son,-Then-Lost-Him/-678952489013422716.html
2015-01-06T18:58:00Z
2015-01-06T18:58:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />Recently my article about my beloved son was published: </p>
<blockquote><br /><strong>A Mother Watches Her Son Slip into Schizophrenia </strong><br /><br />Sometimes thinking and writing about a deep sadness will help bring it to the light-where we can feel it and accept its reality. <br /><br />Exposing our deep feelings can be a way to remove the sting, to accept what is and hopefully diminish the most extreme aspects of our sadness and gain a new perspective. <br /><br />When I made the decision to talk about my son, Daniel, I did so with these hopes and expectations. I was not disappointed and I can report I am glad I took the risk. <br /><br />Daniel is my sixth child in a line of seven. As a little girl I longed for two things-to become a Registered Nurse and to be a mom to many children. <br /><br />I accomplished both of these goals, although it didn't happen in an always sane, linear fashion! My career had many starts and stops and my childbearing spanned seventeen years. <br /><em><br />But this story is about Daniel. How I got him and how I lost him.</em> <br /></blockquote>
<a href="http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/12/ah-a-mother-watches-her-son-slip-into-schizophrenia/" target="_blank"> Read the entire article.</a>
<p> </p>
Staff
2015-01-06T18:58:00Z
Being a Better Man for My Bride
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-a-Better-Man-for-My-Bride/-142088337911834837.html
2015-01-06T18:57:00Z
2015-01-06T18:57:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />Hello! I love, love your show! Today you had a woman call in who recently went on a trip to Chicago with her family. Long story short: her parents got divorced when her brother was 16. To this day, they still cater to his needs and baby him. During the trip, she moved one of his cokes in the fridge and that set him off. You told her to stop going on these trips and have some time away from them. You told her to tell them that these trips make her anxious and own why she is not going. I LOVED IT! <br /><br />My dad is a MAJOR narcissist; my mom passed away in March. With her passing I basically lost both parents because Mom was the only one who made Dad be nice to me. After 20 years of being treated so badly, I have decided I don't have to be a part of his mind games anymore. I am going to take control of ME and say, "No". He is planning a beach trip for the whole family. I am going to tell him WHAT YOU SAID TODAY as to why I and my family will not be joining them. It's just not healthy for me or my husband or my children. <br /><br />I had a pituitary tumor removed recently, so I have also realized how precious life is, what I need to be focused on, and what is important to me. Thank you! <br /><br />Julie</p>
Staff
2015-01-06T18:57:00Z
Learning to Put My Family Before My Parents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-to-Put-My-Family-Before-My-Parents/-250390958235729519.html
2015-01-05T18:58:00Z
2015-01-05T18:58:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />Hello! I love, love your show! Today you had a woman call in who recently went on a trip to Chicago with her family. Long story short: her parents got divorced when her brother was 16. To this day, they still cater to his needs and baby him. During the trip, she moved one of his cokes in the fridge and that set him off. You told her to stop going on these trips and have some time away from them. You told her to tell them that these trips make her anxious and own why she is not going. I LOVED IT! <br /><br />My dad is a MAJOR narcissist; my mom passed away in March. With her passing I basically lost both parents because Mom was the only one who made Dad be nice to me. After 20 years of being treated so badly, I have decided I don't have to be a part of his mind games anymore. I am going to take control of ME and say, "No". He is planning a beach trip for the whole family. I am going to tell him WHAT YOU SAID TODAY as to why I and my family will not be joining them. It's just not healthy for me or my husband or my children. <br /><br />I had a pituitary tumor removed recently, so I have also realized how precious life is, what I need to be focused on, and what is important to me. Thank you! <br /><br />Julie</p>
Staff
2015-01-05T18:58:00Z
Family Values
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Family-Values/256021971176019302.html
2015-01-05T18:57:00Z
2015-01-05T18:57:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />This picture is what I see every time you say a child needs a mom and dad. This is my first grandson and my daughter's idea. Both my daughter and her husband came from messed up divorced families. It's their #1 priority not to do that to this little guy! <br /><br />I keep listening! And yelling at callers to shut up and listen to you. Thank you for your real life advice. <br /><br />Jacqueline<br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/letters_121814 (1).jpg" alt="" width="500" height="336" /></p>
Staff
2015-01-05T18:57:00Z
I Got the Kind of Change I Never Imagined
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Got-the-Kind-of-Change-I-Never-Imagined/619888787890435804.html
2014-12-19T18:58:00Z
2014-12-19T18:58:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I listened to you years ago when my oldest was a toddler and then I lost track of you. Although I had heard your words, struggles ensued, 3 kids and 12 years later my marriage was in rough shape. I was staying home and homeschooling, but babydom and toddlerhood with three kids simultaneously took their toll. I wasn't wholeheartedly being my husband's girlfriend and we grew apart. He turned to porn and I became outwardly angry at first. <br /><br />Then I found your podcast and I read your book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage." I kept up your suggestions of paying attention to him. He lied, he tried sneaking around, and through it all I was steadfast in just loving him. There were SO MANY days when I didn't want to rub his feet, greet him warmly, make his favorite meals or lovingly see him off in the morning. <br /><br />After 5 months of loving him and telling him I wasn't going anywhere because we owed our children a peaceful home, he continued to be selfish and even mean so I didn't think anything would change. I thought the intimate part of my marriage was over. I had tried being sexy, being sweet, then I started teasing him. I found a screw in his shirt pocket one day. So even though intimacy was elusive for us, I approached him and while holding up the screw, said, "Hey wanna _____? After that I began leaving it in his shirt pocket, his jeans pocket or by his sink. I just told him it was something to think about because to me he was my fantasy. After two weeks of this silliness, I got the kind of change I never could've imagined. He now brings me gifts, does caring things, is complimentary, is helpful and is the envy of all of my friends. It took time, but I fully credit your ways and my resolve to see it through to my new happy life. I hope that all women have the courage to keep it up even when it doesn't feel worth it. <br /><br />Thank You, <br /><br />Janette</p>
Staff
2014-12-19T18:58:00Z
Teacher Shadows Students and Is Amazed at What She Learns
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teacher-Shadows-Students-and-Is-Amazed-at-What-She-Learns/-565353344447071084.html
2014-12-19T18:57:00Z
2014-12-19T18:57:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />This article is so wonderful. You keep telling us homeschooling our kids is best. This article is about a teacher who shadowed two high school students for two days. Her takeaways are about how difficult it is to be a student in public school. <br /><br />I admire and find a kindred spirit in you. <br /><br />Kristan <br /><br /><br /><strong>Teacher Spends Two Days as a Student and Is Shocked at What She Learns </strong><br /><br />I have made a terrible mistake. <br /><br />I waited 14 years to do something that I should have done my first year of teaching: shadow a student for a day. It was so eye-opening that I wish I could go back to every class of students I ever had right now and change a minimum of ten things - the layout, the lesson plan, the checks for understanding. Most of it! <br /><br />Read the rest of the article <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/answer-sheet/wp/2014/10/24/teacher-spends-two-days-as-a-student-and-is-shocked-at-what-she-learned/" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
Staff
2014-12-19T18:57:00Z
Learning to Put My Family Before My Parents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-to-Put-My-Family-Before-My-Parents/350695493443063807.html
2014-12-18T18:58:00Z
2014-12-18T18:58:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />Hello! I love, love your show! Today you had a woman call in who recently went on a trip to Chicago with her family. Long story short: her parents got divorced when her brother was 16. To this day, they still cater to his needs and baby him. During the trip, she moved one of his cokes in the fridge and that set him off. You told her to stop going on these trips and have some time away from them. You told her to tell them that these trips make her anxious and own why she is not going. I LOVED IT! <br /><br />My dad is a MAJOR narcissist; my mom passed away in March. With her passing I basically lost both parents because Mom was the only one who made Dad be nice to me. After 20 years of being treated so badly, I have decided I don't have to be a part of his mind games anymore. I am going to take control of ME and say, "No". He is planning a beach trip for the whole family. I am going to tell him WHAT YOU SAID TODAY as to why I and my family will not be joining them. It's just not healthy for me or my husband or my children. <br /><br />I had a pituitary tumor removed recently, so I have also realized how precious life is, what I need to be focused on, and what is important to me. <br /><br />Thank you! <br /><br />Julie</p>
Staff
2014-12-18T18:58:00Z
Turning Loneliness Into Happiness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Turning-Loneliness-Into-Happiness/358522590549613473.html
2014-12-18T18:57:00Z
2014-12-18T18:57:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />Your recent commentary about ways to fight loneliness in a big city left me excited to share this blog post: <a href="http://www.venustrappedinmars.com/2014/05/how-to-enjoy-your-city-solo.html" target="_blank">How to Enjoy Your City Solo!</a> I think it goes right in line what you were saying along with a few extra tips! As someone who moved to Texas from Tennessee for a job offer and knew no one in here, it took a very long time and a lot of work, but I now have many friends, a great boyfriend and life is just amazing! If you are lonely in a big city, it takes time and it most certainly takes bravery, but you'll get there! <br /><br />I thought your listeners might enjoy! Love listening to you! Thank you!! <br /><br />Sarah</p>
Staff
2014-12-18T18:57:00Z
Dos and Don'ts After a Breakup
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dos-and-Donts-After-a-Breakup/809247635138584399.html
2014-12-17T18:58:00Z
2014-12-17T18:58:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />Breakups can be very difficult for multiple reasons. Here are some Dos and Don'ts that I recommend: <br /><br /><strong>Do:</strong> Stick to routines/work and stay busy so you don't ruminate on what is lost. <br /><br /><strong>Do:</strong> Keep in mind that realistic expectations should be put on friends. Often, while in a relationship, you often put friends on the back burner, and your buddies will not necessarily want to hear your non-stop complaining about your ex or rearrange their lives to fill the emotional gap on a long term basis. That doesn't make them bad friends necessarily, but it's reality. <br /><br /><strong>Do:</strong> Make a list of all the reasons your relationship was unhealthy and refer to it every time you are tempted to call your ex. <br /><br /><strong>Do: </strong>Make another list of what you are looking for in your next girlfriend/boyfriend along with a list of other short and long-term goals so you can feel secure in knowing you're building a better future. <br /><br /><strong>Do: </strong>Take up a new hobby or activity that can help you reinvent yourself and bring meaning to your life and to help fill the time and the identity gap. <br /><br /><br /><strong>Don't:</strong> Call your ex or second guess your decision to leave just because it's very lonely.<br /> <br /><strong>Don't:</strong> Get into a rebound relationship. <br /><br /><strong>Don't:</strong> Drink or take up smoking, or indulge in other vices to ease the pain.<br /><br />Julia</p>
Staff
2014-12-17T18:58:00Z
A New Attitude
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-New-Attitude/34355110606544723.html
2014-12-17T18:57:00Z
2014-12-17T18:57:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am just writing to let you know how much I appreciate your wisdom now that I am "all grown up". I used to listen to you when I was younger and I thought, "Who the hell is she to tell people they shouldn't work when they are moms and they shouldn't 'live together' before they get married!" I used to get so angry with you, but I continued to listen anyway! <br /><br />My son is now 14 and a wonderful kid. I recently rediscovered you on the podcast and am listening to you every day with fresh ears. I now find I couldn't agree with you more. I think you were always in the back of my mind, because I did get married, then have my son, all in the right order. And I, my husband and my mom all worked out our schedules so my son never had to go into day care. I want to give a big THANK YOU even though I didn't even know you were doing anything at the time!! <br /><br />Cheryl<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2014-12-17T18:57:00Z
Adult Child of Divorced 'Grown Ups'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Adult-Child-of-Divorced-Grown-Ups/-644014331063466555.html
2014-12-16T18:58:00Z
2014-12-16T18:58:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am a 26-year-old woman who is married with no children. I have been a listener since I was 10 years old. <br /><br />For years I have heard you counsel divorced or soon-to-be divorced parents on the appropriate way to interacted with their exes in the presence of their mutual children. I would like to give my account of what it is like to be the adult child of divorced parents who actually acted like what you consider "grown ups." Are my parents perfect? No. Did they inflict pain upon each other during their marriage and divorce? Probably. Did I know about it? NO! <br /><br />My parents divorced when I was 5 years old. They never spoke ill of one another, never pitted me against each other and never put me in the middle of their problems. Growing up, I saw many of my friends from divorced families suffer with fighting over child support and visitations. I NEVER experienced any of these. If it was my dad's weekend for visitation and I had an important sleepover birthday party that Saturday, he happily agreed to pick me up the next weekend. My parents were adults. They were selfless and cooperative and put me as the child first. <br /><br />At my high school graduation my father took my mother aside and thanked her for being a wonderful mother to me. When I graduated college my mother personally thanked my father for financially supporting me through my education. At my wedding she thanked my stepmother for helping. She lives 500 miles away and was unable to be there for every step of the wedding planning. <br /><br />Though I'm sure my parents have not always agreed with every choice the other had made they never made me bear the brunt of their frustration. As an adult having realized what maturity and kindness it took for each of them to set such a wonderful example, I have made sure to thank them both on several occasions over the years for their selflessness and kindness that has made my life so much better. I am never torn at the holidays as they happily take turns and every major life event they seem happy to see one another and are even able to joke with each other over past experiences. I hope my story as being and THRIVING from two divorced " grown ups" can help others who may not see how being KIND and MATURE despite their personal feelings can help their children live healthier, fuller and less anxious adult lives. <br /><br />Thank you for all you do. <br /><br />Lauren</p>
Staff
2014-12-16T18:58:00Z
Eat What Is Put Before You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Eat-What-Is-Put-Before-You/347924775726242900.html
2014-12-16T18:57:00Z
2014-12-16T18:57:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />When I was a kid, my mom would take the time to prepare a well-balanced meal for us. It may have had items we didn't like such as "spinach" or "steak", but it was healthy and well balanced. I have noticed today's parents cater to their children simply to get food inside them. I remember my dad saying, "You eat what your mother fixed." Today what I'm hear is "You don't like what I fixed? Then what do you want and I'll fix it for you." When I hear this I immediately think to myself "NO! No, no, no, you eat what was fixed for you." I don't understand what has happened. I know parenting is difficult, but are they that afraid of parenting? Have certain laws that were meant to protect children caused parents to give up? <br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura for everything you do. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Patrick <br /><br /></p>
Staff
2014-12-16T18:57:00Z
Proud of My Boy Because of You!!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Proud-of-My-Boy-Because-of-You!!/-2204419998543843.html
2014-12-15T18:58:00Z
2014-12-15T18:58:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />First of all, thank you for helping me raise my kids to be fine, upstanding, young adults. I've been listening to you for about 30 years and my kids are 24 and 22 years old. They have been listening to you since they were toddlers, and still, they'd rather listen to you while in the car than anything else, including their favorite music! So we NEVER argue about what we're tuning in to on the radio! My 24-year-old son posted the message below on Facebook. I am bursting buttons with pride. I told him I was going to send it to you and he was very excited about that! <br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, you've done more for me and my family than you could ever imagine! <br /><br />With great respect, <br /><br />Kim <br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/letter_121514.jpg" alt="" width="400" height="711" /></p>
Staff
2014-12-15T18:58:00Z
Ways You Are Destroying Your Husband And Your Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ways-You-Are-Destroying-Your-Husband-And-Your-Marriage/-595513437311074863.html
2014-12-15T18:57:00Z
2014-12-15T18:57:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />I thought you might enjoy this article. It's not very long and very insightful! <br /><br /><strong>5 Ways You Are Unknowingly Destroying Your Husband and Killing Your Marriage </strong><br /><br />When I got married, I was amazed at the instant, overwhelming sense of responsibility I felt to love and care for my husband. Suddenly, a huge part of someone else's well-being and happiness was largely affected by my choices and actions. <br /><br />Women, we need to be careful about how we are caring for our husbands and marriages. Don't let the small stuff ruin the things that will bring you the greatest happiness in life. <br /><br />Here are just a few ways you might be unknowingly destroying your husband and killing your marriage (as a caveat, please understand that although this article is directed toward women, it applies to men as well)... <br /><br />Read the entire article <a href="http://familyshare.com/marriage/5-ways-you-are-unknowingly-destroying-your-husband-and-killing-your-marriage" target="_blank">here</a>. <br /><br />Thank you for all you do! <br /><br />Brittney</p>
Staff
2014-12-15T18:57:00Z
Sex Education or Training in Schools
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sex-Education-or-Training-in-Schools/580463038351844361.html
2014-12-12T18:58:00Z
2014-12-12T18:58:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />I found this article online: <a href="http://on.rt.com/vs12b6" target="_blank">Chicago schools teach anal sex to 5th graders</a> and was shocked a school is allowed to teach students more about sex than ever before. I've never been a fan of sex education in school but to teach students about sexual pleasure is crossing over the boundaries. <br /><br />My husband and I were shocked almost 12 years ago when we found out that in the state of California a child can leave the school campus without parental knowledge or consent to seek medical advice/care including an abortion as long as they asked a school counselor for permission. They have to seek their own transportation, i.e. bus, taxi etc. Unfortunately, we found out the hard way. We pulled our daughter out of public school and started to homeschool. Our daughter is thankful we did this. She is now 26 years old and a successful business owner. We parents need to be in charge of our children's education not a board or teacher. <br /><br />A.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2014-12-12T18:58:00Z
A Calendar App for the Hookup Woman
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Calendar-App-for-the-Hookup-Woman/60736642205292060.html
2014-12-12T18:57:00Z
2014-12-12T18:57:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was listening to the radio music station on the drive to work this morning, and there was a doctor on who invented a calendar app for sexual activity. It's for "health" - as she describes it - a calendar, where woman can document their hookups in case they caught a STD and/or got an unwanted pregnancy. She said, "I invented this app because women - especially college women - hookup all the time and may be drinking at a party and forget who they've hooked up with. Women need a way to trace back to the person they slept with. We also have categories of sexual acts. This app is very popular on college campuses, as a matter of fact, I was just at Boston College , a private Catholic University , last night and women love it. We also have T-shirts that women love!" <br /><br />Even when the radio hosts were being sarcastic and trying their best not to call these woman sluts, their comments just seemed to go right over the doctor's head. She just said, "You can't believe the stories I hear daily from women. It's definitely a need." After which a woman called in to complain that her boyfriend of three years just got a call from an ex claiming he was the father of her 5-year-old son. But she doesn't believe it "because they only had sex, like, twice." <br /><br />BTW, the app costs, $0.99. <br /><br />David <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2014-12-12T18:57:00Z
Remembering My Parent's Words of Wisdom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Remembering-My-Parents-Words-of-Wisdom/-265893035116043590.html
2014-12-09T18:58:00Z
2014-12-09T18:58:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My parents always emphasized to me that marriage is a two way street and it takes a lot of dedication to make things work. They also taught me the importance of communication and expressing your expectations to each other. When you know what the other person expects, it makes the relationship easier. We can't read each other's mind. <br /><br />One piece of advice I keep close to me is, that you have to give in sometimes and pick your battles. It's like rocks rubbing together. In time the sharp points wear off and the rocks become smooth, easily fitting with one another. To be in a successful relationship means learning how to unite with each other.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2014-12-09T18:58:00Z
The Song 'Brandy'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Song-Brandy/856608233511412760.html
2014-12-09T18:57:00Z
2014-12-09T18:57:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Thank you for taking everybody's calls. I learn something from every call. <br /><br />Recently I heard the song "Brandy", by Looking Glass playing on the radio. I used to feel sorry for Brandy since the man she loved could not be with her. This time, however, I did not feel sorry for Brandy. After years of listening to you, I realized something. She chose to love a man who was not around. This man probably had loves at every port. So why should he have stayed in one place with one woman? <br /><br />I imagine if she would have called you with her predicament, you would have told her to stop fantasizing that he would some day commit. You would also have told her to let him go and read "10 Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives." I would love to have heard that call! <br /><br />Thank you for all your wonderful advice, <br /><br />Sandra<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2014-12-09T18:57:00Z
Dating My Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dating-My-Husband/-196879206026179696.html
2014-12-05T18:58:00Z
2014-12-05T18:58:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />When our 3 children were younger my husband and I agreed to start dating. Once a month we would go on a date. The even months, I would plan the date and arrange for a babysitter. The odd months, he would do the same. The rules were we could not go to the movies or on a double date. The date had to be in an atmosphere where we could communicate with each other. The date didn't always include spending money sometimes, we would just take a hike in the woods. I remember one month I was getting a little antsy. I didn't think he was going to pull through with his obligation. It was the 31st of the month. When I got home that evening he had dinner on the table and of course the children were there. He cleaned up dinner and someone came to stay with the children. We went to a nearby restaurant for dessert and coffee. <br /><br />Our children are all married. I'm thankful after 33 years I still like my husband and enjoy spending time with just him. He still does an excellent job of planning dates. Our agreement way back then has strengthened our marriage. We share this idea with many young couples and offered to make ourselves available to watch their little ones so they too can spend time alone together.<br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2014-12-05T18:58:00Z
A Poem For My Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Poem-For-My-Husband/-109314633448552144.html
2014-12-05T18:57:00Z
2014-12-05T18:57:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I wrote this poem to my husband 2 years ago and found it while I was cleaning. My sentiments remain the same. I thought you might like it. If you read the last line of each stanza you will see how my husband makes me feel-the rest helps to explain why. <br /> <br /></p>
<blockquote><em><strong>The 32nd Anniversary </strong></em><br /> <br /> Awakened early <br /> Troubled thoughts <br /> Husband there <br /> Wife reassured <br /> Down the steps <br /> Achy joints <br /> Sneaky flowers <br /> Wife surprised <br /> Card on table <br /> Trembling fingers <br /> Sensual words <br /> Wife re-smitten <br /> Crazy people <br /> Patience taxed <br /> House cleaned <br /> Wife relaxed <br /> Husband cooks <br /> Taste buds waiting <br /> Dinner served <br /> Wife revived <br /> Kisses given <br /> Memories shared <br /> Life enjoyed <br /> Wife loved. <br /> <br /></blockquote>
Please share it if you wish. <br /><br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Margaret - Happy Wife, Case Worker, and Mother of 3<br /><br /><br /><br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-12-05T18:57:00Z
My Dad, My Hero
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Dad,-My-Hero/722863398009575964.html
2014-12-04T18:58:00Z
2014-12-04T18:58:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />Dear Doctor Laura, <br /><br />I am a new member of your Dr. Laura Family Free, but I am not new to your books. I simply want to thank you for your dedicated understanding of how successful families and individuals function. I grew up with a mother who degraded my father in every way possible. Her manipulations and refusal to take personal responsibility left a wake of devastation. My father, however, decided to rise above it. He read voraciously and bettered himself to be the man that could overcome the faults. There were many times as a teen that I would turn the key to my dad's car and hear a narrator telling me how to better myself so I could improve my marriage. There was not a day that went by that he did not express his love for her, even knowing that she was abusive. He is amazing. In every way, he is my hero. <br /><br />After 28 years of marriage they divorced. Although I will never know what it is like to be a child of a successful marriage, I have great hope in being a mother to those who do. When I was about 16 my Dad gave me his copy of "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and told me to remember gratitude. This was a frequent topic in our talks. He told me that gratitude is the key to a happy life. As an adult woman, in an ever increasingly male-oppressive society, I can see his wisdom. I recently purchased "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" on Audible.com and I found myself saying "Amen" to just about everything! Ha-ha. So, thank you! You have helped to bring alignment and happiness to me and to the man I will someday call Husband. You are wonderful! <br /><br />Much love and gratitude, <br /><br />Nikelle<br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2014-12-04T18:58:00Z
Always In The Back of My Mind
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Always-In-The-Back-of-My-Mind/503343470828281611.html
2014-12-04T18:57:00Z
2014-12-04T18:57:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am just writing to let you know how much I appreciate your wisdom now that I am "all grown up". I use to listen to you when I was younger and think, "Who the hell is she to tell people they shouldn't work when they are Moms and they shouldn't live together before they get married!" I use to get so angry with you, but I continued to listen anyway! <br /><br />My son is now 14 and a wonderful kid. I recently rediscovered you on the podcast and listening to you every day with fresh ears and I couldn't agree with you more. I think you were always in the back of my mind because I did get married, then had my son, all in the right order. Myself, my husband and my Mom all worked out our schedules so my son never had to go into day care. So I just want to give a big THANK YOU! Even though I didn't even know you were doing anything at the time!! Have a wonderful Holiday! <br /><br />Cheryl<br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2014-12-04T18:57:00Z
How You Saved My Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-You-Saved-My-Marriage/435541393716179537.html
2014-12-03T18:58:00Z
2014-12-03T18:58:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br /><br />This is a little long, but I thought you would enjoy this story. Just a little background, I have been happily married for 34 years. We did get married rather young, but it has worked for us. <br /><br />While I was working as an adjunct professor I had a 50 min commute. At this time, two of my girls played the violin. I knew nothing about violins but they chose their instruments. Just about every time I tuned one of the violins I broke a string. I was always going to the shop. There was a nice man, around my age that was always very helpful. As time went on, we would sort of flirt and laugh and talk a bit while I waited. One day, he asked me if I wanted to order a tuner that would help with the strings. I put the order in and he asked for my email address, of course I gave it to him. <br /><br />Because of my commute, I normally took the old truck to keep the mileage off the good cars. The radio in the truck would go on and off, so I usually kept it off and used this time to say a few words to the Good Man. On this particular day when I arrived at work and checked my email I had received an email from the gentleman in question. The email was very complimentary and forward to say the least. I have to say that I was flattered.<br /><br />Now to you. I am driving home and talking to God in my old truck. I have to say, I would talk out loud because I was always alone. I was telling God about this guy. Explaining to him that I wasn't going to tell my husband because I could handle it and it really was nothing. Of course, the real reason was because I liked the feelings. I had no sooner said that when the radio comes blasting on and your voice boomed out, "If you are hiding it from your husband, then it is wrong." Then the radio cuts off. I went home and told my husband everything. Being the great man he is, he said "do you need my help?" I told him I didn't, but that he should take care of the violins from now on. <br /><br />Dr. Laura, I have told this story for years, calling it my God moment. I just thought I should give you a little credit too. Hope you enjoy it.<br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2014-12-03T18:58:00Z
Doing The Right Thing for My Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Doing-The-Right-Thing-for-My-Family/-179621329973945350.html
2014-12-03T18:57:00Z
2014-12-03T18:57:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am a new listener to your show. You have given me so much strength to continue to do what is right for our family. When my husband and I had children, we both felt it was best that I stay home with them. We know it is the right decision for us but we continue to receive so much criticism. It is so reassuring to hear your messages. <br /><br />I work 8 hours a week during the hours that my husband is home with the kids. We made necessary changes to our budget and even though money is tight, it has always been the right decision. My female full-time co-workers have been so critical of me because I don't work full time. They think I'm staying home with my kids to get a free pass from working. It is so sad that they don't realize the benefit of mom being home to keep the family running smoothly. They have also criticized me for driving my kids to and from school every day. I can honestly say that I have the best conversations with my kids everyday on the ride to school. I treasure those conversations. <br /><br />My co-workers are baffled that my kids are 15 and 11 and I don't work full-time. One co-worker suggested that I should work full time and have my 15 year old son watch my 11 year old daughter 9 hours a day for the entire summer I never asked for her opinion nor did I bring the subject up to her. I told her that I am their parent and that it is my responsibility not my 15 year old son's. I let her know that this is a family decision between my husband and I and we don't need any suggestions! <br /><br />Thank you again Dr. Laura. I look forward to learning more! <br /><br />Susan<br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2014-12-03T18:57:00Z
How You Know You're Loved
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-You-Know-Youre-Loved/615799051440355305.html
2014-12-02T18:58:00Z
2014-12-02T18:58:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been an avid listener for over 20 years. I really enjoy your program with your no nonsense approach to marriage and family. <br /><br />My husband and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary this past October. I can honestly say that I have never felt the need to check his phone, email, or check "up" on him in any other way. I know he feels the same about me. If you have a spouse like mine and you treat each other the way you deserve to be treated, there is no reason to check. <br /><br />I generally get up and head to work before he gets up. I try to be quiet in the morning so as not to wake him. He was actually up when I got up this morning and sent me this text: "It was nice seeing you this morning. I cherish every second I have with you. Have a great day Red." No matter how hectic my day may get I can't imagine starting it off any better. <br /><br />After 30 years he still cherishes spending time with me, and I with him. If more marriages would actually spend the time to think about what they can do to make their spouses life better every day, then the divorce rate would surely have to go down. Keep fighting the good fight for marriages and family. You are truly a beacon in the dark. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Mindy <br /><br /></p>
Staff
2014-12-02T18:58:00Z
Keeping This Wife Straight
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-This-Wife-Straight/637190861081199207.html
2014-12-02T18:57:00Z
2014-12-02T18:57:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />I just want to thank you for writing "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands". I have read and reread it many times when I feel I am slipping in being my husband's girlfriend. As wives we tend to let the important things go that we would never consider doing as girlfriends. <br /><br />One of the little things I do that I really took away from your book is never go to bed without showering, shaving my legs and putting on scented lotion. This may not sound like a big deal and may seem like common sense. Even still, there really are a lot of times that I have felt like, "It's winter I'm too tired to shave". I know it was worth the extra 5 minutes when I crawl into bed and my husband pulls my leg up between his knees or pulls me into him for a snuggle. I also know that I hear you in my ear if I don't appreciate the good man I have, some other girl will. <br /><br />So thank you for reminding me to do the little things to keep my man happy at a time when most women don't want to recognize how important their man is to them. I proudly tell everyone that my husband is amazing.</p>
Staff
2014-12-02T18:57:00Z
Older Kids Need Parenting
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Older-Kids-Need-Parenting/-846084262548097467.html
2014-12-01T18:57:00Z
2014-12-01T18:57:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />I am a mom of a blended family, with 5 kids. When we married, they were ages 3,3,5,7,9, the oldest and youngest being biologically mine. Now, they are 20,20,21,24,25. As they got older it become important that I was home. Odd, you'd think they wouldn't need a mom, but they do. <br /><br />I'm still at home 24/7. I cook dinner nightly, and when the kids have time between work and school, they actually come home for dinner. I've noticed dinner together is imperative. The kids have a free for all conversation about everything and anything. <br /><br />My bond with my kids is amazing. When they have question I try to help them. When they are upset, I try to comfort them. When they just want to talk, I'm always there to listen. I may not always have the answers, but I believe my constant presence has made them great adults. They are respectful, accountable, responsible, and reliable. I loved and still love being home for my kids. <br /><br />As they got older I contemplated whether to go back to work, but my husband and I believe my presence is still important. I'm so grateful I've been able to be home to raise my kids, and my husband works so hard to ensure that it happens. I have no regrets. It's been the hardest job I've ever had/have, but it's all been worth it. <br /><br />Rachel <br /><br />P.S. My husband's children's bio-mom completely exited the kids' lives about 8 years ago.</p>
Staff
2014-12-01T18:57:00Z
Finding the Value in Myself
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finding-the-Value-in-Myself/-36953550224499385.html
2014-12-01T18:56:00Z
2014-12-01T18:56:00Z
<p style="text-align: left;"><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I want to thank you for helping me to be a happy stay-at-home mom. It took more than a year of DAILY rewiring my thoughts with your powerful words. I specifically saved all the calls where you encouraged stay-at-home moms and played them and replayed them over and over and over. Whenever I felt down or ashamed, or doubtful, there you were to build me up. Now that my son is 3 years old, I don't need the daily replaying of your encouragement. I still LOVE the way you support at home moms! I feel I have graduated to become a proud, blessed stay-at-home mom. Thank you FOR HELPING ME FIND THE VALUE IN MYSELF. I AM NOW A NEW PERSON. I am at PEACE. I HAVE NEVER FELT MORE FULFILLED IN MY LIFE. Thank you for elevating me to this level with your daily encouragement. It really took me more than a year to rewire my feminist upbringing. <br /><br />God Bless You! <br /><br />Gabriela</p>
Staff
2014-12-01T18:56:00Z
She Allocates 3 Hours a Day to Her Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/She-Allocates-3-Hours-a-Day-to-Her-Kids/472887708501749971.html
2014-11-25T18:58:00Z
2014-11-25T18:58:00Z
<br /><br />I recently came across this article "The Post-Bedtime Ritual of Successful Working Parents" posted online by one of my full-time working mom acquaintances. I began to read the article, initially thinking that it was going to discuss ways to have a work-life balance. In actuality, the essay maps out this working mother's day and the hurdles she jumps through to "do it all". As I got through the first couple sentences, I honestly questioned if this was a complete joke or if this was actually advising on how to cram 800 mom and career things into one day. <br /><br />The author suggests a "split- shift"-- you know, how to fit the family obligations amongst her 55 hr/week career-ladder-climbing work schedule...I quote the author: "I could keep working every night until 8:30 p.m. and not see my kids. Or I could stop work at 5:30 p.m., hang out with my family until 8:30 p.m., and then get back to work." 3 hours?! 3 hours a day is all she allocates to her kids... And forget about her husband - he must not make the cut. THIS is the prime example of why I do not want to be a full-time working mother. Unfortunately, THIS is what is expected by women and men in my generation. As an almost 30-year-old, all of my girlfriends who have kids, unquestionably have full-time jobs as well. It's totally normal. <br /><br />My husband and I got married on the premise that we did not plan to have children. We got married young and now 7 years in, having a family is something we have discussed. I have stressed to my husband I only want to have kids if I am able to stay home with them. He, a sign of the times, has disagreed, arguing he liked the "comfort" of a dual working family. "All of our friends do it and they seem to manage just fine??" I have tried to explain to him the double standard that feminism has brought on women - to be full-time career women AND be full-time mothers. It's impossible. <br /><br />I sent my husband the link to this article and titled the subject line: "My worst nightmare". After reading it, I think he finally understands. He does not see the unsustainable stress working mothers bear and deflect on to their families. In addition to everything else wrong in the world, children only get a fraction of their mother's time and love, because the rest of her time is allocated to work - whether the mothers like it or not. <br /><br />It still makes me smirk to think this is an actual article and not just written in satire. I cannot believe a woman thinks this is a sustainable, healthy environment to raise children. I shake my head at the likes and supporting comments this essay received on Facebook from my brainwashed generation. Although the jury is still out on what I will choose, I will stand strong in my choice to do one thing, with 100% effort. The author of the article credited herself as aspiring to move ahead in her career. So I sign this... <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />An aspiring stay-at-home-mom.<br /><br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-11-25T18:58:00Z
Breaking Bad Habits
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Breaking-Bad-Habits/-980119755853433015.html
2014-11-25T18:57:00Z
2014-11-25T18:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />I discovered that sweets and lots of carbs made me binge eat, so I stopped eating those foods. To get me to enjoy a piece of fruit after a meal and think I wasn't depriving myself of sweets, I bought a small glass bowl with gold trim and design on it. I then cut up the fruit and put it into the bowl. I reminded myself how special it was to eat this fruit out of such a special bowl. It took about a year before I convinced myself this statement was true, but now I no longer need the special bowl. <br /><br />I went from 178 pounds to 132.5 pounds. <br /><br />Sandra</p>
Staff
2014-11-25T18:57:00Z
Who Is Marriage For?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Who-Is-Marriage-For/-163573076277318560.html
2014-11-24T18:58:00Z
2014-11-24T18:58:00Z
<br /><br />This article underscores something you've been telling your listeners forever, that marriage isn't about what you get out of it. - Jennifer <br /><strong> </strong>
<blockquote><strong>This Recently Married Man Just Realized Marriage Is Not For Him. You Have To Read What He Wrote.</strong> <br /><br />Having been married only a year and a half, I've recently come to the conclusion that marriage isn't for me. <br /><br />Now before you start making assumptions, keep reading. <br /><br />I met my wife in high school when we were 15 years old. We were friends for ten years until...until we decided no longer wanted to be just friends. :) I strongly recommend that best friends fall in love. Good times will be had by all. <br /><br />Nevertheless, falling in love with my best friend did not prevent me from having certain fears and anxieties about getting married. The nearer Kim and I approached the decision to marry, the more I was filled with a paralyzing fear. Was I ready? Was I making the right choice? Was Kim the right person to marry? Would she make me happy? <br /><br />Then, one fateful night, I shared these thoughts and concerns with my dad.</blockquote>
<br />Read the rest of the article <a href="http://viralpart.com/recently-married-man-just-realized-marriage-read-wrote/#.VF_1_lvtNzk.facebook" target="_blank">here</a>. <br /><br />
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-11-24T18:58:00Z
Thank You Mother Laura!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You-Mother-Laura!/-97361383238975678.html
2014-11-24T18:57:00Z
2014-11-24T18:57:00Z
<p class="yiv9470802851msonormal"><br /><br /></p>
<p class="yiv3474584506msoplaintext"><span>Dr. Laura,</span><span> </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1416801320538_3456" class="yiv3474584506msoplaintext"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1416801320538_3455"><span>I don't even know where to begin to express my gratitude to you. Because of you, I am a stay-at-home mom and truly a girlfriend to my husband. I am a mom of 3 kids ages 7, 5, and 4....yes, it's crazy! With the support of my husband, I've had the pleasure of teaching exercise classes while my kids are in school to new moms. I listen to your podcast every day and you continue to guide me and help me to become the best person I am.</span></span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1416801320538_3486" class="yiv3474584506msoplaintext"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1416801320538_3485"><span>You'd be so proud of the loving things I've done for my husband even though I was raised by a cold hearted feminist. My wisdom inspired by Mother Laura has changed many marital relationships in a very positive way.... Thank you! It's surprising how many women don't understand the power of being sweet and having sex with their husbands! I'm doing my part in living and teaching Mother Laura's philosophies because they actually work and make families stronger and happier. Without you I would definitely be another angry feminist working mother.... tired, impatient, and soon to be divorced. You have changed my life and I am so grateful for you!</span></span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1416801320538_3484" class="yiv3474584506msoplaintext"><span>Sarah</span></p>
<p class="yiv3474584506msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-11-24T18:57:00Z
Keeping the Constancy of Home, School, and Friends
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-the-Constancy-of-Home,-School,-and-Friends/966444174399686027.html
2014-11-21T18:58:00Z
2014-11-21T18:58:00Z
<p class="yiv9470802851msonormal"><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was at home for 26 years with my 4 children even after their father left. I originally thought that being at home the first years was the most important. I learned over time, they needed me all through their years and to some degree more. <br /><br />My oldest son informed me years after high school how much he used me as the excuse to not go and do things that would have led to things like drugs and alcohol. He would tell them I was waiting at home or I was picking him up and if he did not show up I would be out looking for him. The best excuse ever for not succumbing to peer pressure. <br /><br />When my youngest was drinking and I was finally able to get control of her, she hated me for a long while. But she graduated high school and now has a wonderful career. Had I been working I would have missed the signs and I shudder to think where she would be today. I recall a paper she wrote which still gives me comfort today. She was so happy I stayed home, and kept the constancy of home, school and friends even though it would have been better for me to have moved and gone back to work. <br /><br />I praise God He gave me all that I needed in order to be there for all of my children. My reward today is to witness the loving and caring man, husband, father and son my oldest has become. And how each of the others are functioning and productive individuals who, when their time comes, be loving and caring parents. <br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura for all you do. God bless you. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Anna<br /><br /></p>
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Staff
2014-11-21T18:58:00Z
Breaking Bad Habits
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Breaking-Bad-Habits/-130000424125787176.html
2014-11-21T18:57:00Z
2014-11-21T18:57:00Z
<br /><br />
<p class="yiv9470802851msonormal">I am a 51-year-old father of 4 adult children. <br /><br />In November of 2012, I decided enough was enough. I had topped out at 298 lbs., and I knew something had to change. I did not want to do any kind of a "program." I knew I needed something permanent -- a new set of habits basically. Like you say, "Eat less, move more." So I made a few simple habit changes and it has made all the difference in the world. I don't eat ANY processed carbs after 2PM, and I DON'T eat after 7:30PM. Those are my two simple, drop-dead rules. There is no compromise on those two rules. Along with those rules, I have incorporated huge amounts of fresh veggies into my meals. I like the idea of getting the greatest amount of nutrients into my body with the least amount of calories. I also take brisk walks on the weekends for about 20 minutes. I'm a traveling manufacture's rep., so I'm only home on the weekends. <br /><br />I now weigh 186lbs. My waist went from a 52 to a 36. My wife of 31 years is very happy, and finds it a lot easier to be my girlfriend! I also found out I'm going to be a grandpa in March. So... life is pretty darn good right now. <br /><br />Respectfully, <br /><br />Bryce</p>
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Staff
2014-11-21T18:57:00Z
So Glad I Homeschooled
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/So-Glad-I-Homeschooled/279747946410251896.html
2014-11-20T18:58:00Z
2014-11-20T18:58:00Z
<br /><br />My happy child was nearly destroyed in public school from stupid teaching practices to kids who were just plain mean, and we lived in a small religious town in Northern Arizona. After fighting with everyone at the school for 3 years, we moved to Nevada. The first day we were there, a child was abducted on the corner and a few days later there was a shooting in a nearby middle school. As I drove by the elementary, little children were huddled on the north side of the building trying to stay out of the Las Vegas heat, no teachers in sight anywhere. <br /><br />Before we moved from Arizona, I talked to a mother who homeschooled. She told me where and how to get going with homeschooling. I am so very glad I did. I homeschooled my two boys through middle school. The school was gracious and allowed me to send them to school for certain fun subjects such as shop, computer or band. The core subjects I taught at home. After my husband was severely injured, I was forced to go to work and put my sons back into public school for high school. They were way ahead of their peers, were well mannered, and my oldest was an A student and got a math award. My younger son did well too. They were favorites with the teachers because of their attitude and manners. They both graduated and went to universities for criminal justice and architecture. <br /><br />My oldest son now has 3 little boys and his wife homeschools them. They tried public school, but the curriculum was mindless and the children so mean and undisciplined she didn't want her boys around them anymore. <br /><br />Our children are ours to raise and teach and care for, and if the state can't do a good job of it, then it is our responsibility as parents. I had a good school experience growing up in the 50's and 60's in California, but my children did not and my grandchildren did not. They have family, church, and scouts, so the "socializing" excuse is ridiculous. It wasn't easy teaching my children, but the books were wonderful, and the one-on-one teaching makes everything so much easier when they are small. No regrets here at all. <br /><br />Lori<br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-20T18:58:00Z
The Crucial Importance of Stay-at-Home Wives
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Crucial-Importance-of-Stay-at-Home-Wives/-967073164357641.html
2014-11-20T18:57:00Z
2014-11-20T18:57:00Z
<br /><br />
<p class="yiv9470802851msonormal"><span>Dr. Laura,</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1416459173844_2193" class="yiv9470802851msonormal"><span>I thought you would be interested in this article by Charles Murray. - Stan</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1416459173844_2188" class="yiv9470802851msonormal"><span><br />The Crucial Importance of Stay-at-Home Wives</span></p>
"What's your schedule today?" I asked my wife a few minutes ago. Today, it starts with a trip into the nearby small city to do volunteer work for the local Literacy Council, which provides free English instruction for immigrants. That's today. Tomorrow, it will be one of a half-dozen other civic obligations she has chosen to take on. She's not unusual. In that crucially important reality-she's not unusual-is something that needs to be front and center when we talk about women who "stay at home." Better parental care is one of the benefits, but I think the effects on America's social capital are even more important. <br /><br />Read the entire article <a href="http://www.aei.org/publication/crucial-importance-stay-home-wives/" target="_blank">here</a>. <br /><br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-20T18:57:00Z
How We Made It Work
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-We-Made-It-Work/888000110893437364.html
2014-11-19T18:58:00Z
2014-11-19T18:58:00Z
<br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was a stay-at-home mom from the time my first child was born until my youngest child was 16. We had five children and we made it work financially, in part, by doing the following:<br /><br /><ol>
<li>Not incurring debt.</li>
<li>Paying off our mortgage before having children.</li>
<li>Using coupons for grocery shopping.</li>
<li>Buying our clothing at second-hand clothing shops.</li>
<li>Not going out to eat except for special occasions and then, going somewhere that wasn't terribly expensive.</li>
<li>Taking advantage of free family activities in our area.</li>
<li>Waiting until movies were showing at the "cheapie theatre" before going to see them.</li>
<li>Having only one family car - I was the chauffeur - drove my husband to work and my kids to school, sports, etc.</li>
<li>Not spoiling our children with excessive toys etc.</li>
<li>Not expecting that we were entitled to an expensive family vacation every year.</li>
</ol><br />Even with 5 children and one income we were able to save a substantial amount of money including funds for their university/college education. Was it inconvenient sometimes? Did our kids whine sometimes? Sure, but we didn't suffer and we are now in good financial shape and our kids are doing just fine. <br /><br />Thanks for all you do! <br /><br />Doreen <br /> <br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-19T18:58:00Z
I Found My Spine
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Found-My-Spine/716604005249794586.html
2014-11-19T18:57:00Z
2014-11-19T18:57:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr Laura, <br /><br />I wanted to finally give you a HUGE THANK YOU. Thank you for making me the mum I am today. My husband contacted you a while ago and explained our story. You were very kind to give me a gift of a keychain with a spine on it. <br /><br />My 15-year-old son was diagnosed with a type of blood cancer. After my son and I researched the cancer and all its available treatments, my son decided on a treatment the doctors did not want to do. They wanted to treat him as a statistic not as himself. The photo below is when we were told by the doctors they refused to treat him, that he was about to die and they were moving him to palliative care. But it was okay, I had your spine. I fought the doctors and the hospital. <br /><br />Eventually my son went to court and sat before a judge to fight for his right to choose his own treatment. He lost, BUT because of his spine the doctors eventually agreed to treat him as he wished. (In Australia a child under the age of 18 does not have the right to choose their treatment.) The inset photo is my son 3 years later on a trip of a lifetime with his dad 1/2 way around Australia for a 6 week camping trip. He is now 1 year in remission. Most of this I owe to you. You gave me my spine....but you know what? I found my spine, MY SON HAD IT ALL ALONG!! I am so proud of my boy, my young man. He is almost 19 now - that boy they gave up for dead is the strongest man I know. <br /><br />THANK YOU. <br /><br />Forever grateful, <br /><br />Fiona<br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/letter_111914.jpg" alt="" width="358" height="480" /><br /> <br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-19T18:57:00Z
Not Only Better for My Kids, But Also Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Not-Only-Better-for-My-Kids,-But-Also-Me/726600351972340794.html
2014-11-18T18:58:00Z
2014-11-18T18:58:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura-<br /><br />I just relocated with my husband and three children (ages 7, 3, and 8 months) for my husband's job and I've been cruising websites trying to get a bit of a social support system going. I was looking at a local Facebook page for newcomers and came across a post from a mother looking for someone to retrieve her child from daycare at 6pm and keep them for two hours three days per week. I'm not sure why, but I started to cry reading the post. I cried for the kid, and a bit for the mom. Once upon a time I would never have thought I would leave my career to spend my days like I did today...at home from 6 am from 8 pm caring for three kids with a fever and runny noses. I alternated between story reading, pumpkin carving, soup making, and DVD surfing with each child to help make them comfortable. I never wanted to be a stay-at-home mom until I had my son and started listening to you. There is so much value to my days and to these small people I am responsible for helping grow to value-centered and productive adults and hopefully parents. <br /><br />Thank you for providing so much clarity. Without you, I fear I would have been similar to the woman who had no shame in creating this post...and I know in my heart that what I do every day is not only better for my kids, but also better for me. I don't have the "mom guilt" because I'm always there - to be mom - and that's just who I know I was meant to be. There will be lots of time when they are bigger to just be Christina and I will miss the days like today where the only identity I have is "Mom". <br /><br />Thanks again. <br /><br />Christina<br /> <br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-18T18:58:00Z
Learning to Marry Somebody Normal
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-to-Marry-Somebody-Normal/856721423028767598.html
2014-11-18T18:57:00Z
2014-11-18T18:57:00Z
<br /><br />In my lifetime, I've turned down seven official marriage proposals, all of them surprises. I've also had dozens of other men and boys indicate they would like to marry me. Of the ones offering official proposals, I'd known at the time they were all interested, but didn't ever realize we were to "that point". In all cases I was interested, too, but it just never felt like it was the right fit. To be married was always my fondest dream, but I couldn't make myself settle. I've considered calling your show to ask what you thought was wrong with me -- I'm fifty years old now, and haven't had a date in years -- but I think I already know. My dad was something of a dreamboat: handsome, bright, artistic, amazing athlete, and pretty much a narcissist. Emotionally, I'd be attracted to people like that, the ones who were neglectful; but intellectually I'd know it was a bad idea. I guess I've never been able to get past that and marry somebody normal. <br /><br />Carol<br /> <br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-18T18:57:00Z
When a Cashier Reminded Me My Son Has Down Syndrome
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-a-Cashier-Reminded-Me-My-Son-Has-Down-Syndrome/-590387342029720641.html
2014-11-17T18:58:00Z
2014-11-17T18:58:00Z
<br /><br />This article is not to be missed - Sophie <br /><br />
<blockquote>Sometimes I forget that our son has Down Syndrome. It's easy to be distracted by his 2-year-old tantrums, his mischievous smile and go-getter attitude. Gabe is kindhearted but stubborn. He immediately runs to check on his sister when she's having a dramatic, I'm-4-and-the-world-is-over meltdown. He will climb onto your lap randomly and stretch his little fingers up to stroke your cheek, just to say, "I love you." <br /><br />He also destroys things. Opens drawers, pulls things out, throws them on floor. When you confront him, he ducks his head and looks up from under his eyebrows with a sort of sorry smirk. He helps pick up, sometimes, or wanders off to destroy something else. He loves music; he'll start to dance the second he hears it. He absolutely cannot resist participating in a round of "Itsy Bitsy" or "Twinkle Twinkle," no matter how upset he may have been seconds before. Gabe can make music from anything, even the fireworks during the Fourth of July celebration. <br /><br />Sometimes I forget, because Gabe is just that - Gabe. When I look at him I don't see Down syndrome, I see my son, Abi's brother - a sweet, willful, determined little boy. <br /><br />Sometimes I forget, and that makes it even harder when someone reminds me in a not so kind way. <br /><br />Read the entire blog: <a href="http://themighty.com/2014/11/when-a-cashier-reminded-me-my-son-has-down-syndrome/" target="_blank">When a Cashier Reminded Me My Son Has Down Syndrome</a></blockquote>
<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-17T18:58:00Z
Turning Mistakes into Lessons
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Turning-Mistakes-into-Lessons/617494530944437533.html
2014-11-17T18:57:00Z
2014-11-17T18:57:00Z
<br /><br />Although I heard your voice in the background as my mother listened to you while I was growing up, I have recently started actively listening to your show at 25 years old. I've listened for two weeks and I feel more enlightened and empowered every day. <br /><br />At first while listening, I felt so much weight and regret thinking about the many mistakes I've made in my life that I have wrongly justified. I continued to listen, having one epiphany after another and turned those mistakes into lessons. I feel confident that with your help and inspiration, I will be able to conquer life's challenges. I know this because I have realized in the past two weeks how much you have helped my mother. I hear your voice in her and I wish I listened to her more. You helped her to make a good life from a bad childhood, protect my sister and I from predators in my father's family, be a stay-at-home mom, while maintaining a healthy marriage, and giving us a great childhood. She is forever our amazing mom and still her husband's girlfriend after 25 years. <br /><br />Thank you so much for everything you do. <br /><br />Brittany<br /> <br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-17T18:57:00Z
Masters of Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Masters-of-Love/277346724497155313.html
2014-11-14T18:58:00Z
2014-11-14T18:58:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />You have probably already seen this, but in case you haven't, it perfectly supports what you are saying all the time about "Choose wisely, TREAT KINDLY."<br /><br />Excerpt from the article, <em>Masters of Love</em>:
<blockquote>...Social scientists first started studying marriages by observing them in action in the 1970s in response to a crisis: Married couples were divorcing at unprecedented rates. Worried about the impact these divorces would have on the children of the broken marriages, psychologists decided to cast their scientific net on couples, bringing them into the lab to observe them and determine what the ingredients of a healthy, lasting relationship were... <br /><br />Read the entire article: <em><strong><a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/06/happily-ever-after/372573/" target="_blank">Masters of Love</a></strong></em></blockquote>
<br /><br /><br />Enjoy!<br /><br />Jackie <br />
Staff
2014-11-14T18:58:00Z
How I Deal with a Toxic Person
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Deal-with-a-Toxic-Person/-5793545225672564.html
2014-11-14T18:57:00Z
2014-11-14T18:57:00Z
<br /><br />Hi. <br /><br />We have a relative, who is part of our large extended family. I have known for years she is toxic, but she is as smooth as butter. I warned my sisters about her, but recently she caused a huge problem with one of my sisters. I am untouched because for years I have been polite, and never tell her anything she could ever use against me or my family. That is the key. Be polite, Talk about the weather, or something in common that cannot come back to bite you. Never go into business, do any kind of money deals, or let the other person do things for you that they could hold over your head. In other words, keep independent and polite and pleasant. Period. Never, never, take the other person into your confidence unless you want big trouble. It really bugs them when they cannot control your life and they will try every way to smile and be "helpful" but don't fall for it. Be careful of what you say to their close family, too, as they may have them completely hoodwinked, too. <br /><br />Thanks for all you do. <br /><br />Sharon<br />
Staff
2014-11-14T18:57:00Z
Former Day Care Provider
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Former-Day-Care-Provider/-469293078332744661.html
2014-11-13T18:58:00Z
2014-11-13T18:58:00Z
<br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I often listen to you talk about the merits of being a stay-at-home mom and I couldn't agree more! Quite a while ago after college and before getting my master's degree in Early Education, I worked at the top-rated day care center in a large metro area. It was, by many accounts, a fabulous facility with top-notch educated providers. However, the only thing I learned, while working there for 6 months, was that I would NEVER put my future children in day care. <br /><br />We "teachers" put together educational and fun activities, read books, did art projects, etc., but truly this was all just child maintenance, not child development. While we were caring people, these were not our own children, and no amount of money could make us love and care for these kids the way they needed to be loved daily. It was a job, and while we did it to the best of our ability, the most important aspect that was lacking for these kids for 8+ hours a day was love and an investment in their lives and futures. <br /><br />I am a proud stay-at-home mom to my 2 kids and while it has been tough financially at times, my kids only have 1 childhood and I will have plenty of time to work when they are up and out! These are precious years and I wouldn't trade them for anything! <br /><br />Thank you for all that you promote, <br /><br />Laura<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-13T18:58:00Z
It's Only Greener for a Season
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Only-Greener-for-a-Season/-553761195003185128.html
2014-11-13T18:57:00Z
2014-11-13T18:57:00Z
<br /><br />It takes a bigger-than-life person to overcome infidelity in a marriage. The thoughts of one's spouse sleeping with someone else, doing every intimate act they have done, would be forever in that person's mind. Every time they would have sex, they would be reminded of their spouse's infidelity and naturally put up a wall. If one is going to do something such as this, they must never ever tell their spouse. If they feel the marriage is over, then get out and don't bring home diseases to the other person. If they realized they made a mistake, then ask God for forgiveness and make every effort to spend the rest of their lives making their spouse the center of the universe. <br /><br />Spouses innately will know when there is a change in their spouse. There will be little things, like all of a sudden they are dressing differently, taking better care of themselves, losing weight, changing their work schedule. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize something is up. Life happens and it's imperative a spouse doesn't let life get in the way of their marriage. It's time we take a stand and make marriage a priority and change the statistics of divorce. The grass is the same color in every city, state and country. There is no such thing as the grass is greener on the other side. It's only greener for a season and then there is nothing new under the sun. <br /><br />And this IS my so ever humble opinion. <br /><br />Dyan<br />
Staff
2014-11-13T18:57:00Z
Don't Be Lazy and Self-Indulgent
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dont-Be-Lazy-and-Self-Indulgent/-863988782219519042.html
2014-11-12T18:58:00Z
2014-11-12T18:58:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was listening to your program during my dinner break at work when a caller asked how she could stop making "poor eating choices" despite being very disciplined about exercise. Your response was she should stop being "lazy and self-indulgent". She needed to keep making the hard disciplined food choices all the time, not just 2 weeks a month. I had just finished "indulging" myself with some treats that were brought in to work after finishing a healthy dinner I brought from home. <br /><br />This whole call resonated with me, because I too have fought this need to indulge my entire youth and adult life. I'm 53 years old, and 10 years ago I used to weigh almost 300 pounds. During that decade I pulled it together and especially in the last 5 years started working out with weights and cycling for cardio, and now weigh 195. (I'm 6 feet tall by the way.) I've played this call back at least 5 times now and I want to thank you for being so blunt about the simple formula of staying healthy: eat less, and move more. Kudos to you for your own fitness efforts. <br /><br />Warm regards, <br /><br />Glenn <br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/letter_111214.jpg" alt="" /><br />
Staff
2014-11-12T18:58:00Z
Building Confidence
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Building-Confidence/-160666737382506725.html
2014-11-12T18:57:00Z
2014-11-12T18:57:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />You recently asked your listeners to email you if they've taken up ballroom dancing after retirement. I have, but my situation is a lot different than Bunny's from the Email of the Day: <a href="https://www.drlaura.com/b/Life-Beyond-40,-50,-and-60!/-193329352404386256.html" target="_blank">Life Beyond 40, 50, and 60!</a>. <br /><br />When I was a child my mother would sporadically enroll me in various dance lessons, but I'd always have to drop out because we couldn't afford them. I've always thought, however, that if I could go back and change anything in my life it would be that I would have pursued dance on my own after high school. Here I am now at age 65 and I'm having the time of my life ballroom dancing. Finding the courage to take that first class was very difficult but I was determined to at least try. Since then my instructor and I have danced routines to everything from Lindy Hop to salsa. A year ago, my husband saw me perform and he began taking lessons, too, and we now enjoy dancing together. <br /><br />Someone once said, "Building confidence is much more useful than avoiding fear." Thank goodness I overcame my fear and took that first step three years ago. The joy it brings to my life is immeasurable. <br /><br />Vickie<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-12T18:57:00Z
Recent Couple's Therapy Happening
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Recent-Couples-Therapy-Happening/-813358016827221248.html
2014-11-11T18:58:00Z
2014-11-11T18:58:00Z
<br /><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I wanted to write to give you a giggle. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, doctor of clinical psychology, and a registered nurse. <br /><br />Recently, I was doing couple's therapy with a couple I've seen for approximately 6 months. When I asked how they felt their couple's therapy was going, the wife replied, "Well, to be honest, it was the book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". You had suggested that I read it and it has been most influential in helping me understand myself better, as well as my role in my marriage and how to make it better." I said, "What am I, chopped liver?" We all laughed. <br /><br />So, here's to you Dr. Laura and I am proud to say that my clients sometimes tell me my therapeutic input and suggestions remind them of what Dr. Laura might say. I consider that the highest compliment. <br /><br />Thanks for all you do and mazel tov on your son's recent marriage. As a grandmother of two, two and a half and 5 months just wait. It's above and beyond the best experience ever and my son never fails to impress me in the way he parents and how he treats his wife. One more positive! My other son just passed his second exam and is now a licensed marriage and family therapist! Whoooo Hooooo!<br /><br />Life certainly is about doing the right thing and your kids will certainly follow. <br /><br />Dr. Amy <br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-11T18:58:00Z
Helping Your Children Learn How to Save Money
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Helping-Your-Children-Learn-How-to-Save-Money/929770358010492882.html
2014-11-11T18:57:00Z
2014-11-11T18:57:00Z
<br /><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My name is Ellen. I have listened to your show for years. I have three grown daughters. When my girls each turned five years old my husband and I took them to the bank to open a savings account. We made them put 1/2 of all the money they got as gifts or earned working in the savings account. When they graduated from high school and went off to college they had saved enough money to buy a used car and have spending money so they did not have to work while they attended college. <br /><br />To this day all three of my girls are good savers and don't live pay check to pay check and understand the value of money. <br /><br />Your Loyal listener, <br /><br />Ellen<br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-11T18:57:00Z
Kids Who Are Different
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Kids-Who-Are-Different/290944383936879159.html
2014-11-10T18:58:00Z
2014-11-10T18:58:00Z
<br /><br />Here's to the kids who are different, <br />The kids who don't always get A's,<br />The kids who have ears twice the size of their peers, <br />And noses that go on for days...<br /><br />Here's to the kids who are different, <br />The kids they call crazy or dumb, <br />The kids who don't fit, <br />With the guts and the grit, <br />Who dance to a different drum...<br /><br />Here's to the kids who are different, <br />The kids with the mischievous streak, <br />For when they have grown, as history's shown, <br />It's the difference that makes them unique. <br />~ Author Unknown<br /><br />P.S. Thank you for all your advice!!!<br />
Staff
2014-11-10T18:58:00Z
How I Show My Wife That I Care
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Show-My-Wife-That-I-Care/374165638839906549.html
2014-11-10T18:57:00Z
2014-11-10T18:57:00Z
<br /><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />One of the many things that I do to show my wife that I love her is listen. <br /><br />Universally, all women just want to be listened to. Women are a bundle of emotions and feelings. Sincerely listening to your wife creates a feeling in her of being respected, a feeling of being loved and cared for by the man she trusts to be her partner for life. Whether other men and women listen to her or not does not create a major impact. The respect and value from her spouse creates a lasting impression. In general, men are not good listeners; of course there are the exceptions.<br />
Staff
2014-11-10T18:57:00Z
Compliments From My Wife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Compliments-From-My-Wife/-322482619837162154.html
2014-11-07T18:58:00Z
2014-11-07T18:58:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Thank you for all you do to help families. I was reflecting on which compliments from my wife mean the most to me. <br /><br />I notice the best compliments involve my main role as a husband and father. Were she to compliment me on my looks, my performance in a game, or something similar it wouldn't mean nearly as much as telling me she appreciates how much I work so she can stay home and raise our children or what I do to keep our family safe and happy. <br /><br />When I tell my wife how much I appreciate all she does for our family and how happy I am I married her, she responds, "You've been listening to Dr. Laura again, haven't you?".<br /><br />Best regards, <br /><br />Patrick<br />
Staff
2014-11-07T18:58:00Z
Good Advice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Good-Advice/811754419916149118.html
2014-11-07T18:57:00Z
2014-11-07T18:57:00Z
<br /><br />I just wanted to say hello and thank you once again. About 15 years ago you gave me some much needed advice.<br /><br />I am a very private, suck it up kind of person. I was unsure what decision to make, so I called. You weighed both sides and told me to carefully consider the motive for my decision. There was value in both choices but my motive to help or harm was the big factor. I chose to remain silent and I'm happy with that. <br /><br />You do a great thing with your no nonsense moral approach to dealing with issues that are so important in people's lives. You were an approachable source of comfort and logic to me.<br /><br />Thank you for what you do!<br /><br />L.<br />
Staff
2014-11-07T18:57:00Z
Our Son Chose Homeschooling
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-Son-Chose-Homeschooling/925235612434258916.html
2014-11-06T18:58:00Z
2014-11-06T18:58:00Z
<br /><br />We started home schooling our son last year when he was in 9th grade. He is in 10th right now. We gave him the option and he chose to homeschool. In middle school, there was a boy that would hump him at his locker. We tried to help him by telling him to wait until the boy was gone but it became a real issue, because then our son was late for class. <br /><br />Finally we went to the principal. She moved the other boy to a different locker. Since his mother was a teacher in the school district, she took up the cause to make school as uncomfortable as possible for our son. She would talk badly about our son to other people and teachers. Our son is good student but always needed extra help with math. His father would spend several hours almost every night helping him with math. In 8th grade, at the parent teacher conference the math teacher told us to stop helping our son with math. She couldn't tell what he was struggling with so we were supposed to let him fail. <br /><br />When our son chose homeschooling, it was a relief. The bully at school has found other kids at school to torment. He actually stalks kids he is obsessed with. Our son has a school schedule at home so is at his desk at 8am but there is no rushing in the morning, there is no "come on", "come on". We actually know what he is learning and what is being taught. He also works part-time in the afternoon so he does school work in the morning then goes to a job he really enjoys. He is not only learning school work but he is learning about life and work. We believe he will be more prepared for college then his friends going to the public school. He has to figure out a schedule to get everything done and he knows the consequences if he does not.<br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-06T18:58:00Z
Thank You for the Recognition
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You-for-the-Recognition/121404580136655157.html
2014-11-06T18:57:00Z
2014-11-06T18:57:00Z
<br /><br />Hello Dr. Laura. <br /><br />My friend is a dedicated listener of yours and on occasion, depending on the conversation, he would tell me how you talked about the single father. Due to the passing of their mother 14 years ago, my two little girls who were 5 and 7 at the time, had to be raised by me. I am a Marine Corps veteran who was luckily surrounded by good people and was allowed to adjust my work schedule around my children's needs. And with a good family on both sides we managed to survive. I now have both kids in college with the oldest a SENIOR. One down, one more to go!<br /><br />So I want to thank you for recognizing the single father. It's nice when the plan all comes together. I could go on forever about my girls but I really just wanted to thank you for being you. <br />
Staff
2014-11-06T18:57:00Z
Thankful for My Army Sergeant Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thankful-for-My-Army-Sergeant-Dad/162717094385480553.html
2014-11-05T18:58:00Z
2014-11-05T18:58:00Z
<br /><br />Good morning Dr. Laura. <br /><br />I love your directness. I grew up in a great two parent home and my Dad made sure with his directness, we were wise to the world even though we were raised in rural America. As a medical professional, RN and Respiratory Therapist, for 35 years, I've seen about everything people can do to wreck their lives. Most of it starts with stupidity and/or ignorance and just snowballs from there. <br /><br />I thank you and my parents for telling it like it is. Women don't demand enough of themselves or their significant other as evidenced by settling for less than everything; i.e. marriage. I am forever grateful for my former Army Sergeant Dad telling it like it was and making sure his daughters knew what they had to say was just as important as what his son had to say. Today, my brother and two sisters have a great relationship and our Mom is right there with us. We lost our Dad in 2002. I will continue to listen to what you have to say to wake up people and attempt to get their lives straightened out. <br /><br />Thanks so much for all you do. <br /><br />Charlotte <br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-05T18:58:00Z
Complimenting My Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Complimenting-My-Husband/-503211146486302582.html
2014-11-05T18:57:00Z
2014-11-05T18:57:00Z
<br /><br />Dear DL, <br /><br />Because of your guidance over the last 5 years that I have been listening to you, one pearl of wisdom you have given me is to constantly be complimenting my husband instead of tearing him down. He needs to know that I need him and enjoy his company. Knowing that he is "my man" is a huge ego boost and keeps him being a sweet husband. Daily, I aim to affirm him about what an amazing husband he is and that he does such a great job taking care of me, that he is a hard worker and has great character. I make sure to thank him for the little things like taking out the trash and killing the spiders, and ALWAYS remind him how sexy he is to me! <br /><br />Thank you for reminding me daily to compliment my husband, and to always be his girlfriend!<br />
Staff
2014-11-05T18:57:00Z
I Don't Regret My Choice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Dont-Regret-My-Choice/-764661218529713317.html
2014-11-04T18:58:00Z
2014-11-04T18:58:00Z
<br /><br />I was privileged to be a stay at home mom for my children's entire lives until they went off to college. I often saw other Moms with "jobs" who were bedraggled, worn out and irritable toward their own family members. <br /><br />I got all my errands and housework done during the weekdays while the husband and kids were away. Then, when I picked them up from school, I was delighted to see them rested and ready for the long haul of homework, dinner and activities we had ahead of us. On weekends, I didn't do much housework. I reserved my time and energy for the family. I did require the girls to do chores, but we didn't obsess. I wanted the time my children and husband were at home to be joyful. My ultimate goal was for HOME to be a GREAT PLACE to come to! I was often the only family member who really had time to devote to that goal. I have never regretted my choice.<br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-04T18:58:00Z
You Were My Inspiration
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Were-My-Inspiration/528193964916917962.html
2014-11-04T18:57:00Z
2014-11-04T18:57:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />About two years ago you inspired me to go back to painting. I had lost my confidence and the idea of putting myself out there was frightening! <br /><br />I wanted to send you a follow up email to let you know my progress. I have been in several art shows and even invited to Florence, Italy to show my work! I am also part of a program that gives back to National parks. I get to show my work in a local gallery and have developed quite a following. Sometimes the old fear rears its ugly head. I have become much better at ignoring the old negative thoughts and re-focusing on moving forward with confidence. <br /><br />Thank you for all you do and especially for having had an impact on my life.<br /><br />Best, <br /><br />Heidi<br /><br />
Staff
2014-11-04T18:57:00Z
My Moral Compass
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Moral-Compass/-59681520213073592.html
2014-11-03T18:58:00Z
2014-11-03T18:58:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I wanted to thank you for being the moral compass in my head. A couple of weeks ago my husband, 1 year old and I were visiting my in-laws. My sister in-law brought her new boyfriend over and it became apparent that during the course of the day he had been smoking marijuana. That is not something that my husband or I will tolerate around our son. However, because I know my sister in-law is childish and overacts, I knew that leaving could stir the pot and might cause a blow up. While talking about our options with my husband I thought to myself, "What would Dr. Laura say? She would say that I'm the mamma bear, and that I need to protect my cub no matter what." We decided to quietly pack everything up and head home with a generic excuse and figured we would talk to her about her boyfriend's behavior at a different time she was quite intoxicated. Before we could leave my sister in-law said they would leave instead. Just when we thought all was clear, she stormed back in and yelled the house down. <br /><br />How anyone can defend doing drugs around a child is beyond me. We are not speaking to her at the moment, but we know that we made the right decision in protecting our son. So, thank you Dr. Laura, for being the voice in my head that points me on the right path. <br /><br />Warm Wishes, <br /><br />Jackie <br />
Staff
2014-11-03T18:58:00Z
Making the Choice to Choose Wisely and Treat Kindly
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-the-Choice-to-Choose-Wisely-and-Treat-Kindly/498988612275056203.html
2014-11-03T18:57:00Z
2014-11-03T18:57:00Z
<br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I wanted to write you and thank you for how your advice has helped me in my life. Twenty years ago I was shacking up with an abusive man. I had let this abysmal situation go on for six years. And then I found your program and you gave me the strength and advice to leave. I went home to my mother. And vowed never again to let a man treat me without the respect I deserve. The next man I met had to first meet my mother before he could take me on a date. He had to open doors for me, call on me, and respect me. And he did. This man did not expect me to be an unpaid whore. He married me and we built a beautiful life together. <br /><br />Today I am the stay at home mom of a wonderful four-year-old son and we have been married fifteen happy years. Recently you have inspired me to get healthier and each morning I spend an hour on the treadmill listening to your podcast and thinking of ways to make my husband's day better. <br /><br />Bless you Dr. Laura.<br />
Staff
2014-11-03T18:57:00Z
Men's Needs
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mens-Needs/748735757841090910.html
2014-10-28T17:58:00Z
2014-10-28T17:58:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />When I first started listening to your radio show, I thought you were a kook, but I listened every day...more for the comedic value than for the advice. BUT as I listened, I began to realize how right you are! <br /><br />After 23 years of marriage and subsequent divorce, I picked up "The Care and Feeding of Husbands" in order to be better prepared for the next chapter of my life. I'm ready to date again, and joined a couple online dating sites. On so many men's profiles, there is a statement indicating how they need/want to be "fed" i.e., no games, a woman who speaks her mind, wanting to be with a woman who greets them with a smile and a twinkle in her eye, etc.. One man's profile even bullet-pointed his desires very clearly! It's all right there in black and white, the wording incredibly similar to your book. Two common questions I get from men I've met online are: <br /><ol>
<li>How do you react when your man does something that angers you?</li>
<li>What would you do for me if I had a bad day? </li>
</ol>To me, these questions reveal the nature of their relationship with their former spouse. It took me years to figure out that at the end of the day, men want a woman who will give them a hug, a warm smile, and something to eat. A hungry man is a grouchy man. Also, I plan to pay attention to my man's ego...it's like a barometer to his emotional well-being. I find a quick ego-boost can be accomplished by handing him a screwdriver and asking him to fix a loose thingamajig. There's always something to fix! Plus I admire handy-work and it works every time! <br /><br />Dr. Laura, thank you for opening my eyes to these truths! <br /><br />Andi <br />
Staff
2014-10-28T17:58:00Z
Huge Gigantic Red Flags
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Huge-Gigantic-Red-Flags/217052500139426266.html
2014-10-28T17:57:00Z
2014-10-28T17:57:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I recently broke off with a man who I had been dating for three years. There several red flags. He never came to my house, I had to go to his. He was only available to see me from 3:00pm on Saturday until 10:00am on Sunday, because he worked so much and was tired. We /he was not intimate - no kissing or cuddling, ever. When we went to visit my daughter and son-in-law, he refused to go to church with us. When I complained that he never came to my house and I always had to go to his, he said he would, if I had a nice house! I live on the Central Coast of California and the rent is outrageous so I live in a studio within my means. WOW! What a wake-up! <br /><br />Bye, Bye unworthy man. I am 50 years old, intelligent, gorgeous and I don't need to settle for this crap! What's worse than being alone? Wishing you were! Glad I have finally learned the lesson! <br /><br />Thanks Dr. Laura! <br /><br />Toni<br />
Staff
2014-10-28T17:57:00Z
Consider Your Spouse More Than Yourself
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Consider-Your-Spouse-More-Than-Yourself/163861963864183433.html
2014-10-27T17:58:00Z
2014-10-27T17:58:00Z
<br /><br />Hello, Dr. Laura. <br /><br />An article caught my eye the other day this doesn't happen often, since I'm rarely looking for news and it was entitled: <a href="http://www.economist.com/news/books-and-arts/21621689-how-make-families-more-stable-new-merry-go-round" target="_blank">Marriage in America: The new merry-go-round.</a> <br /><br />The article itself wasn't actually what inspired me to write. There was a user comment which really which resonated with me so much I have to copied it below. The user never even mentions religion or God directly, interestingly enough, but very eloquently talks about covenants and morality. <br /><br />Here is "guest-snninoj"'s comment: <br /><br />
<blockquote>"I find this article a bit bizarre, maybe I am the only one who noticed that it began by talking about marriage, and ended by supporting abortifacients. <br /><br />It is a sad state I think, for it accurately portrays a very shallow understanding of marriage, though I have not come to expect much more from our culture. The author is taking the view that marriage is an economic or educational standard. The truth is and I challenge you to find a single case where I am mistaken that every divorce happens for one reason, and one reason alone. At least one of the couple is thinking more about themselves than they are about their spouse. <br /><br />Many may find it a terrifying prospect to look at marriage beyond simple buy-sell principles. People who enter marriage with the idea that they are trying to "get" something, "achieve" something, will find that their marriage is nothing more than a contract. If I get X, I am willing to give Y. If I do not get X, I will not give Y. Marriage at its core is a covenant, not a contract. The difference? A covenant defines who you are. You cannot break a covenant without destroying your identity. <br /><br />I love my wife, and there are days she drives me up the wall. I made a covenant promise to always stand by her, and she by me. I do not engage her with the thought of what I can get out of her, but what I can give to her. If she fails to give to me, well, my focus isn't on me, and while it may hurt, the essence of who I am is dependent on me giving to her, not getting from her. Thus my core is unshaken; my marriage is unshaken by failings of my wife, because I am concerned with what I give. She is also concerned with what she gives. As long as we maintain that covenant of ourselves, the marriage will always be strong."</blockquote>
<br /><br />I have no idea what, if anything, you'll do with this comment, but I loved it and that's pretty much it! <br /><br />Take care! <br /><br />Timothy<br /><br />
<p> </p>
<br />
Staff
2014-10-27T17:58:00Z
Go Back to College?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Go-Back-to-College/-995133954306175982.html
2014-10-27T17:57:00Z
2014-10-27T17:57:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />You have played an instrumental role in my life and in the lives of my husband of 22 years and our five children (they are all ours...no his, hers and theirs here). I have listened for years and because I have listened to you and applied your teaching, my husband now listens to you. Our five children are now nearing college age and I was considering going back to college to finish the degree I put on hold indefinitely to raise our children. Doing so would provide additional financial resources for their college. <br /><br />My husband was listening to your show on a business trip and called to tell me what he thought you would say about my returning to school. He believed you would want me to stay home for their support and we should budget more. He said because of your advice, we have great children who have the support from a stay-at-home mom. He is a great husband, a great father, a great provider and a great man. <br /><br />I am proud to say I am my husband's girlfriend and my kids' mom and we have you to thank for all of the above. Thank you so much for your preaching, teaching and nagging. It does reach people and we are a testimony of it. <br /><br />Much love to you and yours, <br /><br />Nita <br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-10-27T17:57:00Z
The Simple Act That Saved My Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Simple-Act-That-Saved-My-Marriage/-221553734027443649.html
2014-10-24T17:58:00Z
2014-10-24T17:58:00Z
<br /><br />I am a blogger for the Jacksonville Moms Blog, which is written for moms by moms. I re-discovered your radio show while waiting in the car line to pick up my daughter from kindergarten. I am pretty sure you saved my marriage. I wrote about hearing you on the blog: <br /><br /><strong>The Simple Act That Saved My Marriage</strong> <br /><br />I know you have heard the story (and statistics) before. Married at 25, daughter at 29 and a son at 31. That's my story. I'm sure it sounds common. But there is a dirty little secret that married couples of small children rarely share with those couples just starting down the path of married family life. <br /><br />Here it is: when the little people arrive, with all their lovely coos and angel faces, with all the constant care and attention they require, both mentally, physically and monetarily, the person you vowed to love through the hard times, sickness, health, whether rich or poor, can become a stranger. <br /><br />Throw in the fact that one spouse works in a different city and your own parents are going through a divorce, you realize that being a grownup is so incredibility overrated and <strong>marriage can be even harder than being a parent.</strong> <br /><br /><a href="http://www.jaxmomsblog.com/parenting-wisdom/simple-act-saved-marriage/" target="_blank">Read the rest of the blog here.</a> <br /><br />Thanks for all you do for young married couples. You were my slap in the face. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Jessica<br />
Staff
2014-10-24T17:58:00Z
Enough Was Enough
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Enough-Was-Enough/183627107340949583.html
2014-10-24T17:57:00Z
2014-10-24T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv9867558202msoplaintext"><br /><br />I stayed married until the kids left. I am now divorced; just finalized last month. We were married for 31 years. It is very difficult for my four kids and their families. It's difficult for me too, but I couldn't do it anymore. My wife felt like I was being emotionally abusive to her, but after four marriage counselors over the past 15 years, and all of them saying they couldn't see what I was doing that was abusive, I said enough! It was too exhausting! It feels good to be away from the head games. I'm looking forward to a brighter future.</p>
<p class="yiv9867558202msoplaintext">I've read most all of your books, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands", being the best, but all of them have been helpful to me over the years. Thanks so much for all the good that you do!</p>
<p class="yiv9867558202msoplaintext">Tim</p>
<br />
Staff
2014-10-24T17:57:00Z
I've Been Elevated to Hero Status
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ive-Been-Elevated-to-Hero-Status/345540460101984022.html
2014-10-23T17:58:00Z
2014-10-23T17:58:00Z
<br /><br />I am writing to share my unique perspective on stay-at-home motherhood. <br /><br />When my husband and I were newlyweds, and he was in the middle of medical school, and I was one semester away from completing a graduate degree, we found out we were expecting our first. My job as a nurse was our sole means of supporting ourselves, and though I cried every day as I left my tiny son, I headed back to work to make ends meet. After finishing my graduate degree, I was given increasing levels of responsibility at work. Dropping my now 2 children off at day care at 6 every morning and picking them up at 6 every evening, having a fast food dinner while answering the never-ending barrage of emails, and feeling annoyed with all of the seemingly insignificant requests of my children on the weekends became my norm. <br /><br />Though my husband had finished his training and could easily support our family, I considered my career to be important and meaningful to a large number of others. Motherhood was a small side job to what I considered my main role in life, my career. When I announced to my 75 employees I was unexpectedly expecting my third, I assured them I would return to work after a short maternity leave, and all would be well. I assumed my leadership was of such great importance to my employees, but never even considered my presence at home could also be of importance. During my pregnancy, I did the math of what my income compared to the day care expense for 3 children would be and realized I would be bringing home basically nothing after I paid the bills. At the same time, my oldest was diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder, and suddenly it became apparent he needed ME. It was with some reluctance I gave up my professional life, but mathematically and practically I had to face the fact home was the right place for me. <br /><br />Originally I thought I was needed to <span>chauffeur</span> my son to various therapies, and that maybe we would eat at home a little more often instead of going through the drive-through every night. Little did I know how my value would grow. Yes, chauffeur, chef and laundry attendant top the list of daily tasks I perform, but my value is so much greater. My presence is shaping the foundation of exactly who my now 4 children will become. My son with autism, who previously needed intensive one-on-one help with every facet of life, is now a happy functioning child, who is academically successful in all subjects with just a few minor supports from his teacher and family at home. My second born is a natural leader who hones her skills by helping her older brother and younger siblings. I am available every time she needs me to shape the thoughts and ideas behind her multitude of abilities. My third and fourth born are now 3 and 1 and I have been home with them since day one. They are happy toddlers who think I am their world. We spend our days at library story time, taking slow bike rides, me on my bike, them in a trailer behind me on a local trail while chatting about the beauty of nature and playing on the floor at home. I see in these two humans a direct reflection of me, of my work, my efforts, my thoughts and my beliefs. Being hands on with their lives is so much more fulfilling than anything I ever did in my professional life. <br /><br />My marital life is different as well. Instead of being two individuals, busy with careers that shared a house, we are now a unit. My husband is the provider, who is free to excel professionally without the burden of 50% of the needs at home as well. I handle everything else that a busy family of 6 needs. My husband says he now sees a stay-at-home wife as a necessity, one that he can proudly provide for. He also acknowledges my role in accomplishing our mutual goals for the family is of greatest importance. When he gets home, I make a point of having my make-up on, hair presentable, and giving him a big kiss in front of the children. After the children are in bed, I have the energy for things that I used to be too tired for. It is a very happy way of life indeed. <br /><br />I can share first-hand for anyone who is on the fence about stay-at-home motherhood it is truly a wonderful occupation. My fears included things like: will my husband see me as an equal if I'm not involved in a very important professional role? Yes, in fact I would say my importance has been elevated from equal to hero status in his eyes as home is a much happier place for him. Don't my 75 employees need me more than a couple of human beings who can't even talk? No!!! Anyone can do my previous work job, but only I can shape my tiny children into the adults they are meant to be. No one else can do that job with the same amount of love, patience and attention that I can. Will I be bored? Heavens no! Children change every day. Every day there is a new accomplishment to celebrate! <br /><br />A.<br />
Staff
2014-10-23T17:58:00Z
Queen Mother-in-Law & Princess Daughter-in-Law
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Queen-Mother-in-Law--Princess-Daughter-in-Law/346449835088864898.html
2014-10-23T17:57:00Z
2014-10-23T17:57:00Z
<br /><br />Recently, you were speaking to a young lady who was having difficulties with her mother-in-law regarding her wedding. As you discussed with her that she as the daughter-in-law was the princess and the mother-in-law was the queen, and the semantics of that situation, I began to cry driving during Cincinnati rush hour - on the interstate. ARRGGG! HOWEVER, I am the queen, and am having a very hard time allowing my sons' princesses to become their queens. You are so right about raising sons and being their everything, then they find a woman who loves them and poof, you feel like nothing. <br /><br />You explained how I as the queen need to allow the princess to take over some of what has been my job for 25 & 21 years for my sons. That's pretty damn hard to let loose of those chores/responsibilities/things I love to do for my boys. We queens need to trust that our sons are choosing wisely their future queens, and we queens need to learn to know, if we have done our job properly, those princesses will become beautiful queens. I promise I will try and learn quickly - and after my oldest son stated the reason he loves his princess is "because she is a take-no-s^&t woman, just like you, Mom". Where oh where did my little boys go? <br /><br />Kandi <br />
Staff
2014-10-23T17:57:00Z
Forgiveness vs. Resolve
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Forgiveness-vs.-Resolve/160505082013080133.html
2014-10-22T17:58:00Z
2014-10-22T17:58:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura: <br /><br />Thirty-three years into my helping career by teaching anger management and looking after victims, I finally figured out the whole forgiveness thing. Forgiveness to me is the small stuff. Things like "I'm sorry, I forgot your birthday." "...I forgive you." "I'm sorry, I gossiped about you." "...I forgive you." "I'm sorry, I killed your wife, sexually assaulted your child, beat your mother or father, emotionally decimated you, etc." is not forgivable. <br /><br />We waste too much time on these issues because we confuse forgiveness with "Ah Ha - I now have an answer why he drove drunk and killed my family". He/she has asked for forgiveness and now I have something to do with my pain by granting it. But that is not an answer; the forgiveness is just a stall tactic to healing in my opinion. I believe we are so busy trying to put closure on things, which by the way is impossible, that we automatically revert to forgiveness. Instead of working through the pain and enduring our suffering we look for quick solutions - forgiveness. What we need to teach to ourselves, is resolve. I resolve to get through the pain you caused my family or me or my kids. I resolve not to fall into a world of darkness and hurt so you may have eternal power over me. I resolve to honor their memory or their injury by committing to my community, my life and my remaining family and friends. Forgiveness is for your creator and that's his decision. At least with those "resolutions" in play, I get to choose my own recovery and attitude. <br /><br />Donna<br />
Staff
2014-10-22T17:58:00Z
Thank God for Your Podcast!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-God-for-Your-Podcast!/-656044315744427002.html
2014-10-22T17:57:00Z
2014-10-22T17:57:00Z
<br /><br />I recently called you. At the time I thought I sounded like an idiot, because I was trying to say what mattered to me and also pay close attention to what you were telling me in return, but at one point I used a stupid word out of habit: "allow". When you told me what that word meant to you, I only heard "I used a bad word, now she is going to think less of me." You suggested yoga for my anxiety I didn't DARE interject that I already do yoga and weights and abs and... and I laughed nervously in reaction. Again, my head was wrapped around "Yeah, it IS that easy", so I felt I had miscommunicated and wasted your time. <br /><br />A day after my call, I played it back through your podcast and I did pretty okay. Plus, I got to really absorb what you told me and of course it is true. So, let's do this from now on - if I ever need to call you, we'll talk, then I won't listen to myself until later. Do you think that could work? Give me some of that twilight stuff like at the hospital so I will ask my question and not remember what happened. Thanks. I am lining up my support from the manly and fabulous Bear to my HoneyBee, staying busy and moving a LOT. <br /><br />Ever yours, <br /><br />"Eleanor"<br />
Staff
2014-10-22T17:57:00Z
The Absurdity of Undeserved Forgiveness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Absurdity-of-Undeserved-Forgiveness/714395081242543179.html
2014-10-21T17:58:00Z
2014-10-21T17:58:00Z
<br /><br />Just taking this opportunity to again thank you for your wise teachings of the 4 R's of forgiveness: Responsibility, Remorse, Repair, No Repeat. <br /><br />I had a husband who continually cheated on me and I was told by him, as well as my pastor, that I must never stop forgiving him. It didn't matter he never apologized or made any effort to change his ways. After all, that was what the Bible instructed us to do and if I was to be a good Christian woman that is what I was required to do. I about lost my mind. I was hospitalized for 2 weeks and put on strong tranquilizers for months. It wasn't until I heard your teachings that I began to get well. Thank the heavens for you. You were the voice of sanity in an insane situation. I left the fool. I also left the church. The religious teachings to simply forgive is, in my opinion now, absurd. Your lesson of the 4 R's is invaluable to maintaining a sound mind. No one should be subjected to disrespect and humiliation, no one. I'm so grateful for you. You saved me, Dr. Laura, literally. I so admire your common sense and wisdom and will feel indebted to you forever. <br /><br />Christine<br />
Staff
2014-10-21T17:58:00Z
This is NOT a Sacrifice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/This-is-NOT-a-Sacrifice/-98313344855073882.html
2014-10-21T17:57:00Z
2014-10-21T17:57:00Z
<br /><br />My first career was a stay-at-home mom. My husband and I chose wisely and still treat each other kindly, everyday, 27 years and still going. We chose to build a family with me as the stay-at-home mom and never looked at that choice as a sacrifice. I never thought of it as a sacrifice. When people say they SACRIFICE to stay at home with their children I wonder what is the matter with them! Of course there are sacrifices. I would have loved to go out for lunch or gone shopping the few days when all three kids and the dog were throwing up. But, I didn't. When you have kids, you sign up for a job that demands a lot of tireless effort, patience and devotion to the family including being your husband's girlfriend. How could this be news to anyone? I loved the job and am reaping the benefits as my adult children call often and enjoy visiting! Looking forward to grandchildren someday. <br /><br />Sheri<br />
Staff
2014-10-21T17:57:00Z
Child Reported Abuse
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Child-Reported-Abuse/-860751326455594957.html
2014-10-20T17:58:00Z
2014-10-20T17:58:00Z
<br /><br />Years ago, my then 4-year-old fell and scraped his forehead while horsing around with his 6-year-old brother in the basement. It was not deep scrape, but healed into a bright pink scar, which eventually disappeared. <br /><br />Six months after it occurred, my sister-in-law asked him how he got that scar on his forehead and to my shock, he paused a moment, then answered, "My mom hit me." I exclaimed I had not, that he fell. I have no idea if my SIL believed me or not, but a few days later I remembered something. We had a workman, a spirited younger brother of a colleague of my hubby, putting an egress window in the basement the day my boy was hurt. Upon seeing my son, jokingly teased and asked him, "What happened to your head? Did your mom HIT you?" Six months later, my 4-year-old boy remembered the comment, not what actually occurred. If he had said it to a teacher instead of my SIL, I would have probably been in court. Little kids may not lie, but they don't always remember things as they happened. Like in post-op, they don't remember the pre-op info, only what they thought about what they heard. Just a cautionary thought. <br /><br />Love you. <br /><br />Kathryn <br />
Staff
2014-10-20T17:58:00Z
My Mama Bear
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Mama-Bear/-406900630824396199.html
2014-10-20T17:57:00Z
2014-10-20T17:57:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Recently, you had a call about a student whose teacher embarrassed her and how to handle the situation. Hearing your answer reminded me of a personal story and how my own mother handled a similar situation more than 25 years ago. <br /><br />I was in History class and answered a question incorrectly. I must have had a puzzled look on my face because the teacher responded with, "Don't give me that innocent look; we all know you aren't that innocent." For the record I was THAT innocent. Before becoming a mother, my mom was a teacher and was wildly active in her children's educational activities. She knew many teachers and administrators. Immediately after class, I went to my Vice Principal's office and called Mom, who came rolling in like thunder. My mother confronted the teacher who looked at me and apologized. My mother said, "NO, NO....you embarrassed her in front of her class, you'll apologize to her in front of her class." At the time, I was a bit mortified at the prospect of re-addressing the whole thing. But, your words to that caller that the teacher needed to apologize to her daughter in front of the class has made me appreciate my mama bear all the more. <br /><br />Thank you for standing behind all mama bears! <br /><br />Heather<br />
Staff
2014-10-20T17:57:00Z
Parenting Tips
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parenting-Tips/-133164103944240898.html
2014-10-17T17:58:00Z
2014-10-17T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Here are some parenting tips I use: <br /><br /><strong>State the rule, follow through with what you state, and be consistent.</strong> <br /><br /></p>
<ul>
<li><strong>Never threaten something that is humanly impossible:</strong> i.e. I'm gonna rip your heart out. It's brutal but it wouldn't happen. It might work for tiny unknowing children, but older ones will laugh. </li>
<br />
<li><strong>Stop screaming. </strong>Kids bypass that tone after the first level increase. Find a way to teach children how to occupy themselves instead of expecting entertainment from a parent. Imagination is a blessing. Reading to them is time consuming and well worth it. </li>
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<li><strong>Develop habits early on. </strong>For example, from an early age, have them take their own utensils and non-breakable items to the kitchen after meals. </li>
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<li><strong>Involve children in habits and sports and KEEP THEM BUSY.</strong> If you don't, they will find something else to busy themselves and typically it's not what you would want. </li>
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<li><strong>Tell them randomly that you love them </strong>for no particular reason. </li>
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<li><strong>Encourage them to be proud of even the little things they can do for themselves</strong> by asking, "How proud are YOU of what you just did?" Let them struggle a little to achieve and master small things with encouraging them, you can do it!!!! </li>
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<li><strong>Be involved in outside activities.</strong> Kids shine when their parent/s come to see them. </li>
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<li><strong>Finally, stay off your damn phones</strong> with texting or personal conversations until they are in bed or school. Your days are moving by quickly so learn to enjoy as much as you possibly can because you never know what the future will bring. </li>
</ul>
<p><br />God Bless you Dr. Laura! <br /><br />Cynthia<br /><br /></p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-10-17T17:58:00Z
My Twins' Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Twins-Love/-127143626709308218.html
2014-10-17T17:57:00Z
2014-10-17T17:57:00Z
<br /><br />Hi, Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I'm work-at-home mom of 2.5-year-old twins. I'm currently training for a half-marathon that's just over a month away, so I'm working out a lot, usually early in the morning before the kids get up. This time is my opportunity to listen to your podcast and prepare to take on my day. Having your voice in my ear helps me keep going through that last mile on the trail or that last set of reps on the machine. <br /><br />This morning, when I got home from my run, I helped my stay-at-home-dad husband put our kiddos in the car on their way to an adventure for the day. One of the boys noticed my earphones. "What are those, Mama?" he asked, pointing at the cord as I buckled him into his car seat. "Those are my earphones, buddy," I told him. "For to listen to Dr. Laura, Mama?" he asked. "Yes, for listening to Dr. Laura," I said, surprised. "Good girl, Mommy," he told me. His brother nodded in approval. Apparently I've been more vocal to the kids about you than I had previously realized -- and apparently my toddlers appreciate your influence on their mom. <br /><br />Thanks for all you do! <br /><br />Warmly, <br /><br />Kristen age 32, listener since age 12
Staff
2014-10-17T17:57:00Z
Character Defect or Reaction to Neglect?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Character-Defect-or-Reaction-to-Neglect/722427089889954421.html
2014-10-16T17:58:00Z
2014-10-16T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />I think Princess Diana said it best about when to leave a marriage: "Well, there were three of us in this marriage, so it was a bit crowded." This means if a man has a mistress, it becomes a crowded marriage. If a woman has an affair, it become a crowded marriage. If a man listens to his mother or friends, rather than his wife, it becomes a crowded marriage. If a woman listens to her mother or friends, rather than her husband, it becomes a crowded marriage. In a crowded marriage, one spouse has broken the vow to forsake all others. It is perfectly reasonable for the spouse who has suffered the pain of a breach of their sacred vows to reassess the relationship. It is perfectly reasonable for the spouse who has broken the vow to forsake all other to question whether they broke their vow to love, honor, and cherish. I think that this is the basis behind where you discern the difference between a character defect and a natural reaction to neglect. <br /><br />May you walk or sail in peace and beauty, Hozho, <br /><br />Gary</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-10-16T17:58:00Z
I'm Not Wasting My Life or Talents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Not-Wasting-My-Life-or-Talents/191709579796704526.html
2014-10-16T17:57:00Z
2014-10-16T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dearest Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been a loyal listener since 1997! Whoa! I am married to the love of my life, and we have two wonderful children together, and I am delighted to be the stepmom to his grown children. <br /><br />I was watching your recent video: Overeducated Stay At Home Mom! I was getting my Master's Degree in Gifted Education when I got pregnant with my baby girl! I never finished it, and I have no regrets. Not only am I a stay-at-home mom, but I also homeschool our little ones. It is FUN. <br /><br />I have had lots of friends, family members and former coworkers whom I taught with for years tell me I am literally wasting my life and my talents by not continuing as a teacher, and not getting my Master's Degree. Oh really? It takes one look at my little son while he plays with a circuit board or my little daughter as she sings to know, no, not wasting anything. INVESTING EVERYTHING. <br /><br />Thanks. <br /><br />Becci <br /><br />P.S.: What made me really giggle about your video was being your husband's girlfriend! Whenever my hubby gets home from work my daughter, 9, son, 6, and I dance around and shout, "Mommy's boyfriend is home! Mommy's boyfriend is home!" His homecoming is the highlight of our day - and he knows it. It never gets old.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-10-16T17:57:00Z
The Myth of Quality Childcare
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Myth-of-Quality-Childcare/-878387879713448502.html
2014-10-15T17:58:00Z
2014-10-15T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura - <br /><br />This piece was published in the United Kingdom's Conservative Women. Thank you for inspiring me to step up and speak out. - May <br /><br /></p>
<blockquote><strong>Don't fall for the myth of "quality" childcare - a contradiction in terms</strong> <br /><br />excerpt:<br /> Childcare is a hot-button, politically charged topic. Unfortunately, it is often debated and discussed without any real mention of those it most affects - our children. <br /><br />Take for instance, Jana Javornik's piece in The Conversation in which she urges the UK to follow the Nordic model of having the State pay for children to be raised away from their parents in day care. She argues care for our children should be, at best, free and apparently not provided by actual parents. Why? To entice as many women into the workforce as possible. She writes, "childcare availability and affordability significantly affect female labour supply." <br /><br />Yes, but how does it affect our children? <a href="http://conservativewoman.co.uk/may-saubier-dont-fall-myth-quality-childcare-contradiction-terms/" target="_blank">Read the entire article</a>.</blockquote>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-10-15T17:58:00Z
One of Your Original Listeners
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/One-of-Your-Original-Listeners/310914185893592124.html
2014-10-15T17:57:00Z
2014-10-15T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am one of your original listeners. Back in the winter of 1974 and the spring of 1975, I was a young airman in the United States Air Force just returning from the Vietnam Conflict. I was assigned to Seymour Johnson AF base in North Carolina and would leave the base at night and drive home to Jacksonville, Florida. The only radio station I could get in the early hours of the morning was the station you were on so I listened to you to keep me occupied throughout the night. <br /><br />I have continued to listen to you over the years and my wife is also a big fan of yours as she listens every day on her drive home from work. But for me, I have listened to you for 40 years when I was a youngster and you were in your 20s. So, Dr. Laura, thank you so much for being part of my life for all these years and also my wife's life for the past 16 years. You are an inspiration to us and you have touched so my lives. You are an incredible person, wife and mother. I am my kids' father and my wife's boyfriend. THANK YOU for 40 years of outstanding service to the people who love and care about you! <br /><br />Keith</p>
Staff
2014-10-15T17:57:00Z
Panic Attacks and Thyroid Disease
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Panic-Attacks-and-Thyroid-Disease/-684527804563717606.html
2014-10-14T17:58:00Z
2014-10-14T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura - <br /><br />I have listened to you since my son was born in 2002. I often hear you take calls from listeners with unexplained panic attacks. I wanted to suggest you also advise your callers to have their thyroid levels checked. <br /><br />After my daughter was born in 2004, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's thyroiditis. I am in the medical field and so apparently knew more than my less-than-cooperative primary care doctor. She wanted to put me on antidepressants, but I insisted she check my thyroid levels. It turned out they were off the charts in a bad way. My symptoms ranged from panic attacks to exhaustion and brain fog, hair loss, swollen joints and weight gain despite eating practically nothing. I thought I was going insane. I have always been a skinny minny, so this was extremely frustrating. All the while, my immune system was attacking my thyroid gland and I was swinging from hyper- to hypo-thyroidism. Since my diagnosis, my thyroid has been relatively under control. But in doing more research, I have found that inability to lose weight despite exercising and dieting, unexplained panic attacks as well as exhaustion and depression are all symptoms of Hashimoto's and other thyroid disease. You might want to pass this along to your listeners. <br /><br />Thanks for all you do and I look forward to listening to you each day! I have my 10-year-old daughter and 12-year-old son listening to you as well. Many congrats on the marriage of your son. Thanks for all you do. <br /><br />Debbie</p>
Staff
2014-10-14T17:58:00Z
Parents Comparing Siblings
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parents-Comparing-Siblings/-941665959447163529.html
2014-10-14T17:57:00Z
2014-10-14T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />I grew up the "star" and my poor sister was the shadow. She was constantly compared to me: grades, athleticism, morals, etc. It was devastating for her. She is extremely smart, but since she felt she couldn't live up to my stellar example, she never went to college and became addicted to drugs. Being the star wasn't great either. I felt under constant pressure to be perfect. Obviously I wasn't and I developed an eating disorder. <br /><br />I learned a lot from the way my parents parented. Basically I learned to do it completely differently. And I do. I recognize that my children are very different and that each have gifts and skills that I need to encourage. I have an A student, Type A athlete and a B student, easygoing, artist. <br /><br />Thank you for all you do, Dr. Laura. You helped me pick a wonderful husband who is nothing like my father. And you help me be (not try) a good wife and mother. Keep up the nagging!! <br /><br />Denise</p>
Staff
2014-10-14T17:57:00Z
Fighting in Front of the Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fighting-in-Front-of-the-Kids/-609786217192650320.html
2014-10-13T17:58:00Z
2014-10-13T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My mother and stepfather fought continually while I was growing up, and it didn't matter who was there to hear it. I used to secretly hope for their divorce just so I'd have some peace. I can't tell you how many weekend mornings I awoke to the sound of their yelling. I can't tell you how many meals were ruin by crashing dishes, and my parents stomping off leaving my sisters and me staring at each other. I can't tell you how many vacations were ruined with their endless bickering. At a very young age, I promised myself that I would never fight in front of my future children. <br /><br />I married a wonderful man when I was 35 and we quickly had two boys. I followed through with my promise and never fought or had harsh words in front of them. I have always been at home with my boys, and proud that I had chosen wisely and was treating kindly. On July 12, 2014, while we were out to dinner with friends, my husband had an aortic aneurysm and died suddenly. I had to go home and tell my boys, ages 9 and 11, what had happened to their father. I can tell you, Dr. Laura, I never imagined going through something this difficult in my life. It has been three long, heartbreaking months since he died. As difficult as it is, I am confident that I will continue to be a good mom and provide a happy home for my boys. I have no regrets about my marriage and for that I am thankful. My story is another example of how important it is to choose wisely and treat kindly. <br /><br />F.</p>
Staff
2014-10-13T17:58:00Z
Courting Candle
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Courting-Candle/-151788504477088753.html
2014-10-13T17:57:00Z
2014-10-13T17:57:00Z
<p> </p>
One of your callers today reminded me of the courting candle that dates back to the 1800's. When the daughter had a suitor coming, the father would light this candle in the sitting room where the couple conversed. When the candle burned down to the metal at the top of the holder, it was time for the suitor to promptly leave. If the father did not like this particular suitor, he could turn the piece of metal that sticks straight out. This turning of this piece made the candle itself go down, so he could choose for the suitor to go home sooner. <br /><br />I love you, Dr. Laura. <br /><br />Sheila
<p><img src="/images/blog/letter_101314.jpg" alt="" /></p>
Staff
2014-10-13T17:57:00Z
Surpassing Any and Every Expectation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Surpassing-Any-and-Every-Expectation/-757801325496476724.html
2014-10-10T17:58:00Z
2014-10-10T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Here is a link to one of the most inspiring videos you may ever watch, plus a surprising twist in this true story. If you have not already seen this, you will be so proud of this girl's mother and father. <br /><br />The video description is:<br />The woman you're about to meet was born with no legs, and her biological parents tragically left her at the hospital as a result. One day, however, she was adopted by a wonderful couple that instilled in her the confidence and strength she needed to live out her dream. Her dream just so happened to involve becoming an athlete and gymnast. While so many others would have doubted her, this incredible girl surpassed any and every expectation... but that's only the beginning of the story. <a href="https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=856346521050476&set=vb.121736167844852&type=2&theater" target="_blank">Watch the video</a>. <br /><br />I so appreciate you, and I wanted to send you this to encourage you and let you see that there are good people out there who really do "Do the Right Thing". <br /><br />Kaye</p>
Staff
2014-10-10T17:58:00Z
Why Would Women Accept the Lie
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Would-Women-Accept-the-Lie/-620536886183701344.html
2014-10-10T17:57:00Z
2014-10-10T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br /></p>
Hi, Dr. Laura!<br /><br /> I was wondering if you've heard of this social experiment - the basic concept is this: an attractive woman rounded up a bunch of Internet dates using an actual photo of herself, then for the date, wore a fat suit. Her dates were videotaped. The same experiment was conducted using a male subject. The responses of both the male and female dates were pretty textbook, i.e., the guys were disappointed and pretty vocal about the difference between the profile and reality, and the girls were surprised, but shrugged it off and enjoyed the date, even agreeing to go out again. I wasn't surprised at all at these results, but I was a little creeped out by the female responses. I realize that inner beauty is most important, but it seems unwise to agree to go on another date with someone who can't be honest about their appearance, and feels it's okay to lie.<br /><br /> Katherine
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-10-10T17:57:00Z
Telling Kids They Are Smart
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Telling-Kids-They-Are-Smart/967733515513662920.html
2014-10-09T17:58:00Z
2014-10-09T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I heard you mention the fact that telling kids they are smart is not a good idea. You are correct; however, I think it is not because they then rest on their laurels, though that seems logical. I am a teacher and learned in grad school, and since then in professional development, that it is actually because it makes them nervous to make mistakes for fear of losing their "smart" status if they get it wrong. So, if you praise for hard work rather than ability, then they have nothing to fear because there is nothing to lose -- they know they will be praised for the process/work and not the outcome. No big deal if they get it wrong! A lot has been written about this. <br /><br />Best, <br /><br />Melissa</p>
Staff
2014-10-09T17:58:00Z
How to Avoid Infidelities
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-to-Avoid-Infidelities/540505482121788680.html
2014-10-09T17:57:00Z
2014-10-09T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Good afternoon: <br /><br />While I was not successful in my own marriage in avoiding infidelities, I hope to help my sons keep their marriage strong, loving and fun. I bought 2 copies of each of your books: "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and "Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage". Each couple was given their books 3 years ago for absolutely no reason. I wrapped them in pretty paper, tied ribbons around them, wrote cards specifically to each couple, prayed they would use them. <br /><br />I have heard from each couple independently. Their marriages are stronger. Their friendships better and their personal intimate relationships are thriving. They work together to support their families monetarily and spiritually. Their children are home-schooled or in private school. They spend time with their families - have meals together and do fun things - not always expensive things, but good old-fashioned fun like riding bikes, going to the parks for picnics and play. Dad is there along with Mom. They go to church together and come home together. Life isn't always perfect, but they remain balanced and full of intent to continue their lives together to rocking chair stage. <br /><br />Thanks for all that you do - the encouragement you give - the knock to the head we sometimes need. I remain in awe of your ability to talk to someone for a short period of time and read the situation unerringly. I KNOW you're going to go one way sometimes and then much to my surprise I don't know a thing! You turn down a different path that is absolutely spot on, while I am awed at your wisdom. Keep writing - I'll keep buying!! Thank you for your support to our Military families. <br /><br />Kind regards, <br /><br />Toni<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2014-10-09T17:57:00Z
The One
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-One/665477179811581107.html
2014-10-08T17:58:00Z
2014-10-08T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />I knew he was "the one" because I had never met anyone with that level of integrity, hard work, humor and raw intelligence in my life. I thought I would regret it the rest of my life if I did not marry him. After 26 years, I am more certain of it. I am getting the better end of the deal and have spent all these years trying to keep him from figuring it out. I am totally adored and spoiled. <br /><br />You would be horrified, but we met on vacation at Christmas, got together over spring break and married at the end of the semester. We were living in different states and barely knew each other, but did talk about the big stuff, religion, how to handle money and whether to have children and how many. Also I required that I be home to raise my kids. We have a stack of letters from that time. He was just smitten. He was an EE/math major and I had read the same science fiction he had and am very logical. I was a Food Science major and German minor. We had both been on our own prior to going to college. <br /><br />I was very careful and chose him. I am pretty cute and he is still smitten. My husband was skinny and zitty in high school, but could do one arm pull-ups when I met him. He is still very hot, but because he is a geek and was ugly in high school, I have never been able to convince him he is attractive. This type of man who is not full of himself makes a wonderful husband. His kindness and humility are legendary to all who know him. To give you an idea of how brilliant he is, he got a PhD in math in his 40's in just 3 years, missing half his prerequisites and with two accepted publications which are still being sited. He does not consider intelligence important and values kindness above all. He can still pass the Marine PFT for his age group. Our son is a Marine. I still pinch myself that I managed to attract someone of his caliber. No one could make me happier. <br /><br />Liz</p>
Staff
2014-10-08T17:58:00Z
Overuse of Bipolar
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Overuse-of-Bipolar/-255684542896569312.html
2014-10-08T17:57:00Z
2014-10-08T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura! <br /><br />You often say that bipolar is a diagnosis that is way overused. I have a funny story about this, if you can imagine it. I met my husband through my brother. This is a second marriage for us both. I'd heard all sorts of stories about the stuff he'd gotten in to, but the stories were always funny. My brother told me at one point he had been diagnosed as bipolar. When I finally met this guy, he and I really hit it off. He was adorable, funny, attentive and seemed to be everything I'd been looking for, but I was concerned about this diagnosis. I stayed very watchful of the bipolar personality, waiting for it to appear. We'd discussed it early on, and he confirmed it, but hadn't taken meds for it. Three years later, we'd gotten married, and I'd forgotten all about the bipolar diagnosis. I was living with the most even-tempered, happy, sweet and loving man I'd ever been with. <br /><br />One sunny Saturday morning, on our way to a restaurant for breakfast, I turned to him and said, "Hey, you were diagnosed bi-polar at one point?" He told me yes, he was. I asked him "WHO, exactly diagnosed you?" His reply? "My ex-wife..." I think I stopped laughing after a full ten minutes. So YES, Dr. Laura, the term is very much overused, and is also an indication of how important it is to be wise in who we choose! Obviously, she earned a jerk, while I got a diamond. <br /><br />Love you, love your show!!! <br /><br />Julie</p>
Staff
2014-10-08T17:57:00Z
Stupid Things Celebrities Do
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stupid-Things-Celebrities-Do/-382922308982336704.html
2014-10-07T17:58:00Z
2014-10-07T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Yet, another example of how we should emulate the parenting of children just like our uber famous celebrities. Here is a quote from Tina Fey in US Weekly about her daughter, Penelope, who is 3 years old. "Once I finally got her into preschool....I was like 'Hey, let me tell you some stuff about her: She's not potty trained, she's allergic to nuts, and she bites. Gotta go!" I can't imagine how that little girl feels every day. Her own mother won't even take the time to teach her how to do a very basic, but extremely significant developmental milestone in her life. Just let the hired help do it. She's too busy with her own 'very important and IQ stimulating' TV shows and movies to bother with parenting her own children. <br /><br />I am thoroughly disgusted with our society and how these people are idolized. Just last weekend, I attended a festival with a few of my girlfriends and was horrified by the comments that my mom friend of a 7-month-old girl and not-a-mom friend too old to have children made about day care. The discussion basically went like this: <br /><br /><strong>Mom friend:</strong> "I feel terrible. My little girl is the first one at day care and the last one to be picked up from day care. I cried the other day about it. I've just been so busy at work. But I can't believe that some moms drop their kids off at day care and they don't work! They go get their nails done or go play tennis!" <br /><br /><strong>Me:</strong> "Why do you women have children?" <br /><br /><strong>Not-A-Mom friend:</strong> "I think all babies need to be in day care, so they can learn to socialize and their bodies can become immune to all of the illnesses out there." <br /><br /><strong>Me:</strong> "Thank goodness you will never have children." <br /><br />I am currently reading your book "Stupid Things Parents Do to Mess Up Their Kids' Lives". I'll have you know I am not doing any of those stupid things to my children, nor will I ever! I am and will always be the complete opposite of our very stupid celebrities because I am my kids' mom. <br /><br />Kara</p>
Staff
2014-10-07T17:58:00Z
Men vs. Women
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Men-vs.-Women/589289653752232696.html
2014-10-07T17:57:00Z
2014-10-07T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi there, <br /><br />I have been an avid listener for approximately 20 years and you have answered all of my questions through your program. I love the blunt advice you give to everyone and since my mother passed you are now my adopted mom. I love my husband and kids. We are sweet to each other and I tell him all the time, "Thank God for Dr. Laura or I wouldn't probably of been as nice." <br /><br />When we were planning our wedding, I was feeling quite overwhelmed so I was asking him his opinion on flowers, set up, etc. I mentioned he really didn't seem to want to be involved! I carried on a bit more frustrated. He then said three words and I laughed out loud and thought of you! He said, "I'm a mechanic!" I then realized once again that men and women are very different and that's okay! <br /><br />Thanks for being there for us. He has no idea how much you help me love him and I truly do. <br /><br />Luise</p>
Staff
2014-10-07T17:57:00Z
Best Medicine
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Best-Medicine/933478447656705390.html
2014-10-06T17:58:00Z
2014-10-06T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have listened to you for about 15 years. <br /><br />I want to share a positive story, one in which I was finally validated by your book, "Bad Childhood, Good Life". I grew up in a very abusive home by a very abusive mother who later I found out was bi-polar. She told me a story of how I was an Rh baby when I was born, the second child she bore and didn't want me. She didn't name me until I was several days old and didn't hold me until then either. She finally did on the word of her brother who had just came back from being shot in the Korean war and was paralyzed from the waist down. She named me for him. <br /><br />When I was 4, she sent me to live with my great aunt until I was 8. My brother and sister went to my grandparents to live while she pursued a singing career. She was divorced 5 times in her life. Finally, after 4 years she remarried but wanted to let my aunt adopt me. My father would not allow the adoption.<br /><br />I went back to live with her and my new stepfather and siblings and was treated like Cinderella from then on. I was whipped at 8 years old every time I got the time wrong when my stepfather was trying to teach me to tell time. If I received a "D" on my report card my stepfather and mother would ground me for 6 weeks until the next report card and I could only eat, sleep, do my chores and go to school and study. I had to clean the house on weekends while my mother would go honky tonkin' and get drunk. <br /><br />Bottom line, it was a horrible home to grow up in. I took on every extracurricular activity I could at school to be away from home as much as I could so I wouldn't be slapped across the room for looking wrong. Finally, at 14, my stepfather tried to molest me. I was lucky and smart enough to get out of the house and waited until my mother returned home on this particular day. I told her of the incident and she told me I was making it up. I was so scared to live in this house but I towed the line and stayed out of the way until I graduated. I felt so abandoned by her all my life. <br /><br />My real father was given a piece of my mind later in life too about not coming to get me when my mother tried to adopt me to my aunt. He failed me as well. I want you to know that when I finally read your book, I did it on vacation about 5 years ago, I am 63 now. I finally felt validated that what my mother did regarding the attempted molestation was like double abuse. I knew what I went thru was not right but always felt alone in this. Thank you for writing this book; it helped me heal. Better late than never. <br /><br />I am a mother of 2 sons and never let my mother near them. I lived 3,000 miles away while raising them so they wouldn't suffer negativity from her. I am glad I did. They are now good fathers and husbands. I am proud of them. I put myself in counseling when my boys were small, but your book was the best medicine in the end. I still listen to you each day. Thank you. <br /><br />Sheila</p>
Staff
2014-10-06T17:58:00Z
Listening the Second Time
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Listening-the-Second-Time/-694571734316134181.html
2014-10-06T17:57:00Z
2014-10-06T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I called you recently questioning if I was being "reasonable or irresponsible" in how I was communicating with my 28-year-old daughter. I have to say, THANK YOU! Thank God for Podcasting. I had no idea a person could go brain dead when talking you you....WRONG!! When I heard my call play back, I said to myself "What an idiot, does he hear what he is asking?" I just want to say THANK YOU! Not only did it click when listening, it was very matter of fact on what I needed to do next. I loved most your brief commentary you said after you hung up - "Did he really just ask me that stupid of a question" when I commented about her being out of state. <br /><br />Bottom line is I have listened to you non-stop since introduced to you. I cannot say I disagree with anything after really thinking about it more, and your advice to me at least helped my other adult kids and my wife. My daughter simply needs to seek the help she needs before we can even talk about starting fresh. It is her decision now, and I hope she makes the right one, but I would not have heard you as clear as I did had I not listened to it again - You're amazing. Thanks for never backing down on saying it like it is. For me, I guess "Stupid is as stupid does" <br /><br />Joe</p>
Staff
2014-10-06T17:57:00Z
Dying Friends
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dying-Friends/649219058983633397.html
2014-10-02T17:58:00Z
2014-10-02T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />I lost one of my best friends. She had cancer. I knew she was getting close to the end but I never treated her any different. She had some "friends" that disappeared after her illness got so bad, and it really hurt her. But I still visited or called her every day. She never wanted me to treat her different. We talked about the fact she was dying and we also laughed and cried. But her main thing was don't walk on eggshells around her. We were real about everything. <br /><br />One thing I did was to make a photo book with pictures of her and I and of her family,pets, etc. she cherished it until the day she died. She left 2 children, one was 20-years-old and her daughter was 10-years-old. I still see them and it's my way of staying close to her. I still miss her but you were right, it took me months before I would stop crying. It was one of the hardest things I've ever been through. She was only in her mid-40s. I was with her until her last day. I miss you, Terry. <br /><br />Susan</p>
Staff
2014-10-02T17:58:00Z
Investing in People
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Investing-in-People/-782519792426096656.html
2014-10-02T17:57:00Z
2014-10-02T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Several weeks ago, you shared how you chose to take the professional path you did rather than doing "research" in your field. I am just one of hundreds of thousands who as a result of your choice, have been greatly helped. <br /><br />I called you over 20 years ago when I found myself managing an entire office of women. I was at a loss on how to communicate and lead them. I became a better boss and leader as a result of your advice. In fact, when I got promoted and moved to another state, that office gave me a going away gift with the slogan scribed on a plaque that read "now go take on the day". That was just the beginning of my journey of learning of not only learning how to be a better boss, but a better husband, father and man. <br /><br />I take very serious the motto of paying it forward and I practice this in sharing with anyone who is willing to listen, what I have learned from listening to you and reading every book but one that you have written. I had a great childhood so I passed on "Bad Childhood, Good Life". You are a national treasure and I for one, am so appreciative that you made that choice over 30 years ago to avoid the other path and blazed a new trail of investing in people and giving them advice of value and importance. God speed to you our soldier of the airwaves. <br /><br />Tom<br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2014-10-02T17:57:00Z
Dad's Teddy Bear
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dads-Teddy-Bear/672566551465635462.html
2014-10-01T17:58:00Z
2014-10-01T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I like the advice you gave to the mom who was concerned about her 10-year-old son still attached to his baby blanket. I am happy you told her to let him hold on to it even though he had to do it in the privacy of his own room. I have a sweet story to share with you about my dad and his teddy bear. <br /><br />In the 1930's when my dad was a toddler he received a teddy bear for Christmas. He loved his teddy bear so much so he held on to it his entire life. When my dad was 12 years old his father died. When he was 17, he entered the Marine Corps, joining his older brother. Both served in Korea with my dad being injured, captured and tortured. His head injury left him with life-long suffering and disabilities. Upon his return to the States, he got married and had 5 children, but he still had that teddy bear. <br /><br />When I was about 20 years old, my dad gave me that teddy bear. He told me it had brought him more comfort than I would ever know. I was honored and told him I would take good care of it. I carefully wrapped the frail and tattered bear in a pillow case and stored him in a chest for many years. About 15 years later, Dad died. The day after he passed, I thought about that bear; how much comfort it brought him during his life and how much it meant to him. Without hesitation I placed his teddy bear in his casket to be buried with him. I felt he now would forever be comforted by it even though I wanted to hold on to it for my own comfort. I did not know how much my gesture would mean until I read this letter my uncle wrote to the editor of his local newspaper explaining more in depth what that bear really meant to him and his family and the legacy that lives on. <br /><br />Evelyn<br /><br /><br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/letter_100114.jpg" alt="" width="600" height="601" /> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-10-01T17:58:00Z
Sex and Commitment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sex-and-Commitment/104842712850963967.html
2014-10-01T17:57:00Z
2014-10-01T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />In my opinion, sex before marriage causes great harm because the relationship doesn't yet have the proper foundation; it reduces a beautiful gift to a mere lustful physical act. Before marriage, there is no commitment involved. There must be commitment, (marriage), if the sex is to fulfill the purpose for which God gave it to us. Sex, when exercised within the confines that the Lord has specified, is amazing, beautiful, wonderful! It allows us to express our love with the one to whom we have committed the rest of our lives. It is also a beautiful picture of the relationship between God and His people. <br /><br />Thanks for everything you do, Dr. Laura! I was one of your students when you were a professor at USC. Boy, have you come a long way and that's a compliment! <br /><br />Sean <br /><br /></p>
Staff
2014-10-01T17:57:00Z
Daisy Bell (Bicycle Built for Two)
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Daisy-Bell-Bicycle-Built-for-Two/-32800328130071926.html
2014-09-30T17:58:00Z
2014-09-30T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I'm sure you've heard this old song, "Daisy Bell (Bicycle Built for Two)". When I read the SECOND verse, which I wasn't aware of, I thought of you talking about how young women don't put as much effort in choosing a mate as animals do. Not sure if this verse was added later, but it fits so well as Daisy's response to her suitor's first verse. - Gary <br /><br />Here it is: <br /><br />Daisy, Daisy Give me your answer do.<br />I'm half crazy,<br />All for the love of you. <br />It won't be a stylish marriage, <br />I can't afford a carriage. <br />But you'll look sweet, <br />Upon the seat, <br />Of a bicycle built for two. <br /><br />Michael, Michael, <br />Here is your answer true. <br />I'll not cycle Over the world with you. <br />If you can't afford a carriage,<br />There won't be any marriage. <br />'Cause I'll be switched, <br />If I get hitched, On a bicycle built for two!</p>
Staff
2014-09-30T17:58:00Z
Observing My Grandparents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Observing-My-Grandparents/-882288241840415072.html
2014-09-30T17:57:00Z
2014-09-30T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>At 5pm every evening my grandma would stand at the door and wait for my grandpa's work truck to pull into the driveway. He always came home the same time and if he was even a minute late I remember my grandma biting her nails and worrying for him. Sure enough he would pull right up, always. She would watch him get out of his truck grab his jacket and lunch box and walk up to her. She would open the door for him and he'd step up, lean in for a kiss. He would lean because his hands were dirty from welding all day. He would go take a quick shower. When he came back he would hug her, roll up his sleeves and start mashing the potatoes my grandma had left for him on the counter since that was man's work. Then he would sharpen the carving knife and cut the meat for dinner which was always at six. This happened every time I was there. <br /><br />My grandpa would always say, "That's my girl", like he was still so proud to have landed such a beautiful girl. There were many other things, like jitterbug on Friday nights, and the fact my grandpa would never "go out with the guys" without his girl by his side that spoke to me more than words or advice ever could. <br /><br />Sara</p>
Staff
2014-09-30T17:57:00Z
Taking Responsibility
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-Responsibility/-617870974889074386.html
2014-09-29T17:58:00Z
2014-09-29T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I know you hear a lot of negative family stories from callers, so I wanted to share a positive one with you. <br /><br />I got pregnant out of wedlock at 19 and my boyfriend was 22. When our families and friends found out, they insisted we terminate the pregnancy. My boyfriend insisted we take responsibility and have the baby. We welcomed our beautiful daughter into the world. We knew the best thing for her was me being a stay-at-home mother. My boyfriend got a job. He didn't make a lot of money, but it was enough for us to get by. The whole time our families and friends said we were making the wrong choice. It was not easy, but we married and knew as long as we respected and loved each other we could make it through anything. <br /><br />Fast forward 7 years. My husband is an enterprise sales executive for one of the best known companies in the Silicon Valley. We welcomed another beautiful baby, into the world last year. I am my kids' mom and my husband's girlfriend. We wouldn't be where we are today if it was not for us taking responsibility of our lives and "doing the right thing." I am a regular listener, thank you for encouraging other people to "do the right thing." <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Ashley</p>
Staff
2014-09-29T17:58:00Z
Just a Big Thank You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Just-a-Big-Thank-You/457223596051126002.html
2014-09-29T17:57:00Z
2014-09-29T17:57:00Z
Hey Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just found you on Facebook after losing track of you back in 2006 when my short-sighted local radio station changed formats. I listened to you faithfully while my children were little in the 1990s. <br /><br />Simply put, you made me a better mother and a way better wife! From the bottom of my heart, thank you. My children thank you and wow, so does my husband. I wasn't raised with much guidance, love or principle, so my parenting and wife skills were lacking until I found you on the radio. I admire your strength, intellect, hard work, great attitude and the love that you share with my fellow citizen and me. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have made my life better, but more importantly you have made my children's lives and my husband's life better because you taught me how to love them well. I am forever grateful to you. You and your family have always been in my prayers. <br /><br />Barbara
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-09-29T17:57:00Z
Putting Kids First
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Putting-Kids-First/745655516458647810.html
2014-09-26T17:58:00Z
2014-09-26T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Dr. Laura</p>
<p>The first and only time I stayed overnight at my wife's parents home I was excited to save money on a hotel. Besides, it was always unheard of to stay at a hotel when you have family. The problem was my allergic reaction was severe to the years of cigarette smoking in their home. So I made it clear to my wife if she stayed overnight it would be without me.</p>
<p>Months later and my wife is pregnant with our first child. I took the dirty looks of her family and her mom fussing and cussing me out. Despite the articles I forwarded to my wife as to the dangers of 3rd hand smoke to our unborn child, she would not stand with me on the matter and informed her parents that I would not allow us to stay overnight there and she didn't agree with my decision.</p>
<p>Our wonderful healthy daughter is now 5 months and I have remained determined. I patched things up with my mother-in-law, who respects the man her daughter married. I look for ways to compromise on most things but never with my child's health or safety.</p>
<p>I applaud you for constantly teaching your audience to put their emotions, nostalgia or whatever else aside and to put their children first. It seems the obvious decision to me, but I have seen people put something as trivial as their feelings above their kids.</p>
<p>Keep up the fine fight and realize you are not alone.</p>
<p><br />David</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-09-26T17:58:00Z
Born at 80
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Born-at-80/-526194885333340858.html
2014-09-26T17:54:00Z
2014-09-26T17:54:00Z
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Born at 80 and working toward 18 at first sounds fun or perhaps intriguing, but in reality it's analogous to "If frogs had wings they wouldn't hit their rear ends every time they jumped."</p>
<p>Think about it for just a minute or two; by the time you become an octogenarian, you have built up a rich reservoir of experience, knowledge and, one would hope, wisdom. Now, instead of the pleasures presumed in your premise of becoming ever more healthy, strong, virile, agile, charming, etc., you will really have nothing toward which you can look forward. You will already know how a deal went down, how you lost your savings, how you cheated a friend, who you loved and perhaps divorced, how your children acquitted themselves, who won the championship ballgame, and hundreds of other daily activities. These were the things you looked forward to with anticipation, fear, love or "the wonder of the unknown" that you will never again enjoy because you already experienced these feelings.</p>
<p>Yes, it's part of the human condition to engage in the "coulda/woulda/shoulda," but we can't go back in time to fix mistakes, wrong turns, etc. You have to view this construct in the context of the age-old fantasy of going back in time to change one thing, but taking that to reduction ad absurdum, and dealing with the consequences simply isn't worth it beyond a whimsical exercise that would quickly reveal its utter absurdity.</p>
<p>Chuck</p>
Staff
2014-09-26T17:54:00Z
No Magic Here
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-Magic-Here/437534095891083699.html
2014-09-25T17:39:00Z
2014-09-25T17:39:00Z
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura, </p>
<p>Recently, I celebrated my 1 year anniversary of sobriety. I'm a drunk who takes it a day at a time, a last journeying towards continued sobriety rather than self-inflicted oblivion and destruction.</p>
<p>I very specifically remember a call over a year ago with a woman who had a gambling addiction. I remember you being hard on her, and the frustration in her voice. But I also remember relating to that woman, and feeling frustrated along with her because I too was caught in the obsessive and insane grips of addiction. You said, "I can't help you with this" and "There is no magic here". Your harshness stuck with me, and the words resonated.</p>
<p>At one point in the call you compared the caller's addiction to making lasagna, and she got pretty frustrated. I think you are hard and un-sympathetic to drunks like me, but maybe that's just what we need to hear. I too was that woman who, for a while, looked for that "easy fix". Hearing the frustration in that woman's voice, and you calling her out on that frustration, and seeing it for what it really was, has stayed with me.</p>
<p>The past year has been one of very hard work for me; I've got a sponsor who is sometimes as harsh as you, calling me out on my shit when I need it. Staying sober is brutal work sometimes, but it's so worth it. Finally, finally, I have learned to ask for help and use it well.</p>
<p>Day-at-a-time and exponentially grateful,</p>
<p>Leeanna</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-09-25T17:39:00Z
In Vienna, Thinking About Viktor Frankl
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/In-Vienna,-Thinking-About-Viktor-Frankl/954230933387604722.html
2014-09-25T17:35:00Z
2014-09-25T17:35:00Z
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Just to remind you… I am the listener from the Cleveland Orchestra which is on tour again. We are in Vienna, playing in auditoriums that were built in the late 1800s. Since you introduced me to Viktor Frankl, I have read a few books by and about him and his work. As I walk to and from the hotel, auditorium, and restaurants -- I find myself thinking about Frankl in the certainty he had walked this very spot.</p>
<p>Making music is to feed the souls of those who would be fed that way. I find it of a great strength and comfort to be part of a profession that existed centuries before I was born and will hopefully continue in the future with the Flankl-inspired attitude. Many thanks from Vienna to you for introducing these ideas, and daily encouraging a consistently good attitude!!</p>
<p>Also -- we have had a very happy day in our family. My 27-year-old daughter, now a physical therapist, got married to a wonderful man two weeks ago. All is well with this strong and honest and persistent young woman who put her abuser in jail for two years.</p>
<p>Alan<br />Your "Cleveland Orchestra younger brother"</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-09-25T17:35:00Z
Listening to Your Animals
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Listening-to-Your-Animals/521841600023932227.html
2014-09-24T17:58:00Z
2014-09-24T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />About a year ago my Labrador specifically leaned over while we were sitting next to each other and licked the corner of my right breast. She repeated this and looked at me. It startled me and I did not understand. Then I was diagnosed with Ductal carcinoma in situ (DCIS), the most common type of non-invasive breast cancer. And I understood her actions. <br /><br />The following winter, the exact same thing happened. She leaned over, across my chest to reach my left breast and licked the top of it, and looked at me. It totally scared me. Recently prior to that, I had an MRI that came out perfect so I was really shocked. She repeated her behavior, and I told her "No, Hailey". I looked to see if perhaps I had food on my shirt to cause this to happen - I did not. I pushed her away because she would not stop. About four months later I was diagnosed in that exact spot with Invasive HER-2 cancer. She had tried to protect me, and I discounted her. <br /><br />We have been together for some 13 years. She is a master hunter, and we have been joined at the hip. I did not listen to her, she tried to tell me, and I did not listen. After suffering a large seizure this last week, I had to put her down. I am devastated - this beautiful creature, intelligent and giving could not make me listen, if I had, we might have caught it before it became invasive. She tried. <br /><br />Barbara<br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/letter_092414.jpg" alt="" width="425" height="600" /> </p>
Staff
2014-09-24T17:58:00Z
When my Husband and I Fight
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-my-Husband-and-I-Fight/-370381147237251204.html
2014-09-24T17:57:00Z
2014-09-24T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Whenever my husband and I have a major disagreement about something, we remind each other that the walls have ears, meaning our KIDS' ears. That, in turn, reminds us to we show our kids we can resolve disputes without yelling at one another, so they will learn they too should use that approach. <br /><br />And the most important thing is to hear each other out before we make judgments. In other words, don't jump to crazy conclusions about things before both sides are heard. <br /><br />Our kids are learning from our examples, and we continue to learn from each other. <br /><br />Thank You for all you do. <br /><br />Sandy<br /><br /><br /> </p>
Staff
2014-09-24T17:57:00Z
New Autism Study
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/New-Autism-Study/663021095282627964.html
2014-09-23T17:58:00Z
2014-09-23T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I would like to direct you to the following link: <a href="http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/09/140909093705.htm" target="_blank">Intervention in 6-month-olds with Autism Eliminates Symptoms, Developmental Delay</a><br /><br />Essentially, the study discovered that early intervention, (as early as 6-months-old when infants began to show behaviors symptomatic of autism), alleviated developmental delays and ameliorated symptoms by the age of 3. What fancy interventions were recommended, one might ask? </p>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: 12px;">Infant attention to parent faces and voices</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: 12px;">Parent-child interactions that attract infants' attention, bringing smiles and delight to both</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: 12px;">Parent imitation of infant sounds and intentional actions</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: 12px;">Parental use of toys to support, rather than compete with, the child's social attention </span></li>
</ul>
<p><br />Sounds to me like basic parenting... I wonder if putting an infant in day care where there is no one-on-one interaction, little eye contact, and the use of toys to keep children entertained instead of being held and cuddled and loved might be contributing to the rise in autism cases? I wonder if "at-home parents" who use TV, videos, and iPad games to entertain the little ones, or spend time tapping on their smart-phones instead of playing with their kids might be contributing to the rise in autism diagnoses. <br /><br />While autism is very complex and cannot be attributed to a single factor, I found that study particularly intriguing because of our family history. I have been an at-home mom married to their dad for more than 20 years. Two of my kids were diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome when they were about 10. I am certain that all of our positive interactions in their infancy is what prevented their symptoms from devolving into full-blown autism. They are now fully functioning adults, one is in the Air Force, and the other one is a Marine. While we did have help from some wonderful cognitive behavior therapists in their teenage years, I am convinced that being able to focus 100% of my attention and energy on them and on their needs from infancy until adulthood, helped tremendously to alleviate the bulk of their autism symptoms and behaviors. I shudder to think what might have happened if they had gone to day care instead... <br /><br />Thank you for your continued support of real womanhood, and real mommyhood. <br /><br />Fran</p>
Staff
2014-09-23T17:58:00Z
Daughter Who Wanted a Tongue Ring
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Daughter-Who-Wanted-a-Tongue-Ring/108292182866239845.html
2014-09-23T17:57:00Z
2014-09-23T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I called you a while back regarding my college-bound daughter wanting to assert her independence and get a tongue ring. At that time, she did not get a tongue ring; however, I noticed when we went to visit her at college, she had one. We told her our disapproval and, eventually, after being annoyed with it she took it out on her own. <br /><br />After that, I sent her "The Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives," never discussing it with her. I wasn't even sure if she read it - until this week. While looking at her Facebook profile, I noticed she shared a post from your Facebook page! I want you to know that you are making an impact on my daughter even though she would not want me to be aware of it. What's more impressive is even before her sharing that post, I noticed she was behaving more responsibly than in the past. <br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura! <br /><br />Christine</p>
Staff
2014-09-23T17:57:00Z
Boy, Was I Wrong
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Boy,-Was-I-Wrong/-36600153011337772.html
2014-09-22T17:58:00Z
2014-09-22T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Both my husband and I are 50 years old. I married a widower with three girls and I was divorced with one girl. Three months ago, I decided I needed a break from my marriage of ten years. We had been arguing a lot about his adult daughter who was constantly lying over bringing drugs and alcohol into our home, the sad state of our marriage, my constant complaining about where we lived, and other parenting issues. I moved out of the house and got a 90 day lease in a nearby apartment. My husband objected, but I didn't care. Shortly after the adult daughter moved out, but I didn't return home since I already signed the lease on the new place. <br /><br />While at work I met a younger man and began seeing him, while still having occasional date nights with my husband. I was sleeping with both of them but my husband never knew...UNTIL, I decided to take a one week cruise vacation with the boyfriend. My girlfriend who was supposed to cover for me, confessed where I went and with whom. My husband was incredibly hurt and I destroyed our relationship and any trust he had in me. He packed up all my things, and I mean EVERYTHING I owned: clothes, shoes, makeup, jewelry, beauty products, photos, etc. It was as if I never lived in my home. When I returned, the one and only single item he left was your book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" on the nightstand. I sat on the floor and cried like I never have before. Now he has filed for divorce and I'm trying desperately to convince him for another chance. I'm reading the book cover to cover and pray for forgiveness. At this point I don't know what will happen. I love my family and I never want to lose them. <br /><br />Claudia</p>
Staff
2014-09-22T17:58:00Z
Something Bad Turned Good
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Something-Bad-Turned-Good/710177624599462882.html
2014-09-22T17:57:00Z
2014-09-22T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />A little over a year ago, my husband and I fell on difficult times. He left me, needing to "think". He did this 3 times, and on the third time, he went 4 days without returning a call, text, or email. I was going nuts not knowing where my marriage stood. I had enough. <br /><br />On Monday morning, I made arrangements with my mom to take our two older kids for the night. I packed an overnight bag for myself and my almost two year old. I drove the 38 miles to his workplace. When I went in, I handed my son to him and didn't say a word. Understand that I am a super shy woman and I asked his boss if he had a moment. I told him what was happening and asked if my husband could have the day off to talk with me. I was nervous and shaking, but I was not about to let my marriage end without a fight. <br /><br />My husband was staying in a friend's basement apartment and we went there and talked. I was done arguing or fighting, I wanted to save my marriage. After a very long time of hearing each other out. His friend gave us the opportunity to rent this apartment to help ease the burden of him traveling 38 miles to and from work every day and I took the plunge. I had to. We lived there for a year, then we decided to attempt what I thought the impossible and buy a house. With the help of church counseling, here I am with a better marriage and a home for our family of 5 that I never thought we could have. Two bad situations ending up being the best things that could ever happen. Marriage isn't easy, but it's worth the work. <br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura! I may not LIKE what you say, but you're always right. <br /><br />P.</p>
Staff
2014-09-22T17:57:00Z
After Divorce, Put Your Kids First
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/After-Divorce,-Put-Your-Kids-First/-952481860196026442.html
2014-09-15T17:58:00Z
2014-09-15T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Since I was a wee brat, my mom has been listening to, talking about, and referencing you. Also I wanted to share a revelation of mine, not for a pat on the back or a good job, but merely with some hope it might do someone else some good. <br /><br />I have always had a very big problem with insecurity mixed with needing someone in my life. I would jump from woman to woman without a care of another's feelings or worries about how self-destructive I was. I married when I was 19. That ended with a lot of anger and eventually deep depression until I latched on to the next woman, the mother of my child. After my son was born, anger and resentment began building in the relationship until it was an almost certain violence was upcoming. So I did the only thing I knew how. I ran. <br /><br />And without fail, into the arms of another woman. I was convinced this woman was going to be it. After about 6 months, the honeymoon period ended abruptly, and I found a sudden and fiery anger in my partner. But I was going to do this relationship differently, so I fought, and fought hard to make it work by going into therapy and such. After about 8 months into it, we decided it was a good idea to get married. After that, the violence began. I couldn't understand the raw fury coming from her at some of the strangest things. And only directed at me. Medicine adjustments would help for a week or two, but it always came full circle. It was simply frustrating. But as I said, I was convinced this would be the one. <br /><br />When I was 25 years old, I gained custody of my son due to the abuse he suffered at his mother's hands. <br /><br />Last April, my violent wife left to visit a friend and I had a lot of time to think. I had an epiphany. I realized how selfish I've been to my son by allowing the misery to continue. How I really wasn't that much better than his mother by allowing him to live in that environment. How much I've hurt him with my choices. I now am a divorced father and my son is happier than I've ever seen him. Over the phone, I still help my ex-wife work through her issues. When the divorce news hit her, she took it badly and attempted suicide. She has since been diagnosed with numerous mental issues. She is making great steps on becoming her own person. And I, after 27 short years of life, have finally found my center. I accept myself for me, I'm staying single while I continue therapy for me and my son who is starting kindergarten. And I finally have found peace and am working to repair my faith as well as instill it in my son. <br /><br />Thank you. God bless. <br /><br />J.</p>
Staff
2014-09-15T17:58:00Z
Mental Toughness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mental-Toughness/847489985024990182.html
2014-09-15T17:57:00Z
2014-09-15T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />My mother was a super example of good ol' Yankee self-reliance, so integrity was instilled in me throughout childhood. <br /><br />The incident which prompted me to take charge of my own emotions happened when I was about 16. My friend and I got ourselves to the movie theater to see "The Sting". It was sold out, but she said another movie, "The Exorcist", was supposed to be good. So we went, and I was completely overwhelmed by the horror. For weeks I was having daytime "flashbacks" of the imagery and the accompanying floods of emotions and trembling, and unable to get to sleep because of them. Finally, I began to interrupt the flashbacks by deliberating choosing OTHER thought content, thus gradually circumventing the cascade of image-emotions-physical reactions. I took charge. Ever since, I have been in charge and while I enjoy positive emotions to the fullest extent, I have confronted negative events and emotions with this an analytical and problem-solving approach. <br /><br />Stacey</p>
Staff
2014-09-15T17:57:00Z
How Childhood Affected Me as an Adult
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Childhood-Affected-Me-as-an-Adult/-187560568713022354.html
2014-09-12T17:27:00Z
2014-09-12T17:27:00Z
<br />
<p>Good afternoon,</p>
<p>I was a victim of childhood sexual abuse. I was abused by four different people as a child and young teenager. That has definitely impacted me as a grownup. To make matters worse, one of the perpetrators was a Catholic priest. There is definitely quite a bit of ignorance and shame surrounding being a child abuse victim, especially since I'm male. As an adult, I've found it difficult to get close to people. I have built up a wall around myself and retreated into my own world. It's hard for me to trust people. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I think it could happen again. I never married and have had trouble maintaining friendships and romantic relationships I've also felt that somehow I deserved it - that I did something wrong and was punished. This too has carried over into adulthood. I don't feel worthy of success and I believe that I don't deserve to be successful or even happy. I'm getting better though. I found a good therapist and am working to unlearn all the messages I was taught. It's tough, but I think I can do it.</p>
<p>I appreciate you giving me the opportunity to express my experience. It does a great deal of good to get this out there.</p>
<p>Respectfully,</p>
<p>Dave</p>
Staff
2014-09-12T17:27:00Z
Strategy for Handling a Difficult Situation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Strategy-for-Handling-a-Difficult-Situation/-352016517218062645.html
2014-09-12T17:25:00Z
2014-09-12T17:25:00Z
<br />
<p>Hi, Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I'm an ER health care provider. I absolutely appreciate and possess a tough love approach, but found, at times, yours to be borderline abrasive. That said, I've come to realize how much your listeners value your insight, perspective, and strategies for handling difficult personal and social situations. Recently I was listening to a call from mother with a 3-year-old child having developmental disabilities voice her frustrations, feelings of being overwhelmed, and having limited patience with her infant born of a gestational carrier. The moment you told her to close her eyes and listen to the calming music played by your crew over the airwaves was wonderful! I too found myself drifting away to a happy mental place and thought to myself "I'll keep listening."</p>
<p>Thanks for the moment of serenity and for dedicating your life's work to helping others.</p>
<p>Hillary</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-09-12T17:25:00Z
It Took Me Awhile to Learn How to Raise Adults
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Took-Me-Awhile-to-Learn-How-to-Raise-Adults/-111176940214824865.html
2014-09-11T17:58:00Z
2014-09-11T17:58:00Z
<br />
<p>I recently found you on Sirius and if I had listened to you years ago it would have saved my son's life - literally! When you get women who do not want to let their kids grow up, please feel free to use me as an example of what can happen.</p>
<p>I chose poorly and got pregnant at 15. I was abused and beaten badly so I got my babies out and raised them as a single working mom. They knew I loved them, no doubt about that. They knew I was a mother bear and would eat anything alive to protect them - to the point of bringing everything to me to fix - forever. My son committed suicide in my home at the age of 33 in March 2014. He was unmarried, childless, jobless and severely depressed that he did not have any of those things. I never let him learn to stand on his own when he was young. If he had learned those lessons he would have made different choices in his life, instead of knowing Mom would pick up the pieces every time. Make no mistake, I know it was his choice to kill himself however I also know it's my fault for not giving him the tools to be a man! Truth is, I didn't know how to raise a man as I am a woman.</p>
<p>My daughter, only slightly better, was strong enough at the age of 18 to get away from her abusive boyfriend. But then was attacked by a stranger and left for dead with severe brain injury to her frontal and temporal lobes. She will probably always live with me now because her decision making is a crap shoot! We tried her living on her own, only for her to get involved in drugs and pregnant in less than 3 months. Now she is clean and sober and I have a 7-month-old grandson living with me. I am using all your advice for raising the grand baby. My daughter listens to me, completely! She bonded to me after the head injury as usually happens. So even though she is raising him, I am raising him as well, through her with your help.</p>
<p>Please don't stop your show for years to come. Some of us are just learning how to raise kids properly.</p>
<p>Michelle</p>
Staff
2014-09-11T17:58:00Z
Knowing They Loved Each Other Was Enough
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Knowing-They-Loved-Each-Other-Was-Enough/-969299380787448969.html
2014-09-11T17:56:00Z
2014-09-11T17:56:00Z
<br />
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>When did women became so dramatic about their spouses, feeling they are not loved and appreciated?</p>
<p>My parents had me later in life and have been for over twenty years God bless them. I have 2 brothers and 3 sisters but we lost our oldest sister to cancer a few years back. My mother was a farmer's wife which meant she raised her kids and worked on the farm at the same time. She cooked at least 2 maybe 3 meals a day for 8 people. She would take care of the books and found time to can 500 to 700 jars a year of fresh vegetables and fruits. During the time of having her babies she beat cancer and had a kidney removed never complaining. Once when we were in our late teens my brother's car trunk was open during a bad blizzard. In the early morning, she went out there to shut it, slammed her thumb in the trunk, and had to pull with all her strength to get it out. She then waited for us to wake up to take her to the hospital because she did not want to bother us - amazing woman.</p>
<p>She and my father knew they loved each other and that was enough. She was too busy to think about what she was lacking from him.</p>
<p>Anyway keep up the great work.</p>
<p>Your fan,</p>
<p>Brian</p>
<br />
Staff
2014-09-11T17:56:00Z
The 'Other Side'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Other-Side/-424131514045072102.html
2014-09-10T17:58:00Z
2014-09-10T17:58:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />A relative of mine posted a comment on Facebook this morning that has triggered me. I decided rather than "getting into it with her on Facebook" I would rant and rave to you...HA! <br /><br />Here is her comment:
<blockquote>Dear Stay-at-Home Mom, <br />Please do not complain to me about how hectic your life is going to be now that the kids are back in school. I'm sure you will find time to take the kids to their activities and get homework done after you have had your tennis match and nail appointment. Your friend, The always hectic working Mom </blockquote>
<br />In response to this comment another person posted:
<blockquote>Seriously! The "other side" has no idea how hard it is to juggle work. </blockquote>
Is that what stay-at-home moms have become? The "other side?' Really? Since when does being available for my children 24/7 become a negative thing? Why does there have to be two sides? By choice and sacrifice I am a stay-at-home mom. I work hard at what I do. I schedule and take kids to appointments, maintain the house, cars and pets, manage our finances and shop for my family's needs. I volunteer, almost daily, to help and assist those who are in need in my church and neighborhood. I am heavily involved in our school's Parent Teacher Student Association. I am often at the school selling cookies at lunch, planning school festivals, or other worthwhile events. I am the first person my working friends call when their child forgets to take their lunch to school or needs to come home sick. Me...The stay-at-home mom! <br /><br />My life as a stay-at-home mom is very fulfilling. Yes, there are times when I take time out in my day to do something for myself, but that is an exception. I enjoy being busy and involved in my community. I do not appreciate being judged negatively because I don't work or because I have a little more flexibility over how I manage my time. I like to think we have each other's backs. That just because some of us choose to stay home (and it is a choice) we can still help each other. I like to think that we have compassion for each other as women; that we willingly and happily try to lighten each other's loads. It makes me sad there seems to be an increasing amount of bitterness toward stay-at-home moms. There should be no "other side". <br /><br />Phew... I feel much better now! Thank you for listening, <br /><br />Becki<br /><br />
Staff
2014-09-10T17:58:00Z
The Choice Was Always Mine
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Choice-Was-Always-Mine/633359339757009380.html
2014-09-10T17:57:00Z
2014-09-10T17:57:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just started reading your book, "Bad Childhood Good Life". I turned my life around approximately 20 years ago after having an abusive childhood. I am 56 years old now. I changed my life by taking responsibility for my choices similar to what your book says. After beginning your book, I have had anger at myself for being so stupid for so many years. I have two adult children who are screwed up and my daughter is raising two girls making many of the same mistakes with men that I made. I'm not sure if I am grieving for my mistakes or how I affected so many lives, but I feel angry at myself! Your solutions seem so easy! <br /><br />Why did it take me so long to figure out that the choice was always mine! <br /><br />Theresa<br />
Staff
2014-09-10T17:57:00Z
Use of Profanity in Public
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Use-of-Profanity-in-Public/284134961821701888.html
2014-09-09T17:58:00Z
2014-09-09T17:58:00Z
<br /><br />A man entered the Smith Haven Mall in NY and proceeded to the Apple Store wearing a shirt with the f-word several times in bold letters across his chest. I informed the manager and then attended to my business. I kept the manager and man in my sight while I addressed my business, but the manager did not approach the man. I thought about leaving it alone, but then I heard you reminding your listeners that you go out of your way to stand up for what you believe in. And so, I did too. <br /><br />I walked over to the man and took his picture. I then shared my thoughts on his attire and implored him to think about how he might feel differently if he were a father. I turned to his girlfriend, who defended her boyfriend's clothing choice. I asked her if she were a mother would she permit the use of profanity in front her child. I then questioned her standards and suggested she find a real man to date. After, I went back to the manager and asked if he intended to address the man. He told me he was busy with other customers. I informed the manager that I took a picture and would follow up with the Apple Store. <br /><br />I contacted both Apple and the Simon Mall. Neither has a policy concerning this. If the man were shirtless, he would be escorted from the mall. But wearing profanity is acceptable, according to both policies. I would like to add, no one supported me in the store. When I first addressed the manager another patron agreed with me, but I was left to make my case, with no support from my fellow parents. <br /><br />I agree with you, that we are a complacent species. My only hope is that I emboldened another citizen to stand up for what is right in the future, when you or I are not there to handle it for everyone else. <br /><br />Karen<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-09-09T17:58:00Z
Our Future Daughter-in-Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-Future-Daughter-in-Love/166647419889274711.html
2014-09-09T17:57:00Z
2014-09-09T17:57:00Z
<br /><br />I heard you liked <a href="http://youtu.be/3g03lDn3CVc" target="_blank">marriage proposal videos</a> and thought I'd share this one my son Dallas made for his fiancé. He waited and waited and waited for the girl he wanted to marry - and never settled. He found her and we couldn't have picked better for him. He composed, sang and wrote everything for the video he made for his love - our future daughter-in-love. Hope you enjoy it. <br /><br />By the way- our family has been fans for years!!!! <br /><br />Love, <br /><br />Bonnie <br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-09-09T17:57:00Z
Walk Away Immediately!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Walk-Away-Immediately!/-369707582133377379.html
2014-09-08T17:58:00Z
2014-09-08T17:58:00Z
<br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Thank you for setting a recent caller straight on her relationship with her boyfriend. She had a problem with him looking at bikini-clad babes online. When she let him know it upset her, his response was that she was too sensitive, etc. Otherwise, the caller said, they had a "great relationship". Of course your advice was to walk away immediately. As you so wonderfully put it, "A bank robber doesn't rob a bank every day. A wife beater doesn't beat his wife every day!" <br /><br />I was that woman 25 years ago, and, unfortunately, I didn't have you for advice then. I married that type of man, made two babies with him, and after 23 years of marriage, we finally divorced. In those years, I put up with him flirting, ogling, and extremely inappropriate behavior when other women were around. I complained, ignored it, tried being the best wife I could, but he would never stop. Now I'm dealing with the fallout of divorce on my children. Through listening to you, I realize that I am ultimately the one who is to be blamed for being stupid and silly enough to marry a man like the caller described. So thank you Dr. Laura for trying to keep other young women from making a very bad mistake. <br /><br />Ellen <br />
Staff
2014-09-08T17:58:00Z
Standing Up to Bullies
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Standing-Up-to-Bullies/-621015404843783935.html
2014-09-08T17:57:00Z
2014-09-08T17:57:00Z
<br /><br />I was in a store one day and a father was repeatedly backhanding his son who was about 6 years old; full-arm-swing backhands! Why? His son needed to use the bathroom and interrupted his dad while he was talking to the store clerk. He got 4 good blows off, but I stopped the fifth one by blocking it. The dad looked at me, pulled his hand back and wound up to hit me. I told him to go ahead. I was smiling at the time. The guy stared at me with a hatred I've never seen before. He stood there for a couple of seconds, then grabbed his kid and left the store. The store clerk looked at me and stated, "You just lost me a customer." I said, "No, now you lost two", and I walked out. <br /><br />That was fun. I really dislike bullies having been bullied when I was young. Nothing like a few years of martial arts to give you some backbone. <br /><br />Mark<br />
Staff
2014-09-08T17:57:00Z
Turning My Marriage Around
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Turning-My-Marriage-Around/-471949901814408831.html
2014-09-05T17:58:00Z
2014-09-05T17:58:00Z
<br /><br />I am a relatively new listener. At first I thought your advice was often harsh, but I kept listening. You made me reflect on my flawed, but happy life. My husband and I had a frequently rocky marriage, past and present but much less so now. Because I did not place my husband first, he did not make me first in his life and this became a kind of an unspoken agreement between us. All our energy went to the kids on my part; career and golf on his part.<br /><br />Our kids grew up and left and did what they were supposed to do in the right order: went to college, got good jobs, became self-sufficient, got married, and had babies. But the big shock was when we looked at each other; instead of feeling fulfilled we kind of hated each other. Our fix was to be nicer to each other and to pretend we still loved each other. Just last night we were driving home and there were at least ten things I wanted to say that were cranky and mean, but in our "new" relationship I bit my tongue over and over again and cracked jokes. When we got home, there were big hugs and big I love yous. It turned out to be a wonderful night. Thank heavens I follow your advice (sometimes without knowing it). And every morning noon and night, I thank God we are still together and reaping the benefits of that investment of time and work.<br /><br />Now I listen to you regularly and frequently find nuggets that help guide me as I navigate my roles of mother, mother-in-law, and grandmother to many. A wise person once told me, life is hard, and then you die, so maximize your opportunities in between. Looking forward to working hard for many more years on my marriage and other important life relationships. No one can replace me in my family, but I hope when I am gone they will build networks among themselves to approximate what I do.<br /><br />Amy <br />
Staff
2014-09-05T17:58:00Z
Following My Dream
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Following-My-Dream/358281349287850003.html
2014-09-05T17:57:00Z
2014-09-05T17:57:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I am writing to let you know that at the age of 57, I recently became a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and I feel like I owe a lot of my success to you. I loved listening to you on the radio and always dreamed of being a therapist.<br /><br />I enrolled in college at the age of 40 after hearing a call you took about 17 years ago from a young man who said he wanted to do what you do, but he did not want to put in the schooling. He asked you if there was a short cut. Your response was that there are no short cuts. The years are going to pass and we are going to be older anyways so why not go to school and be older with an education. So I started college at 40, got my AA, went on for my BA in Psychology and after a few years break, I got bored and pursued my Masters in Counseling Psychology. I did my Internship, completed my hours, took my tests, had to take them both twice and was not going to give up and got licensed at the age of 57.<br /><br />You continue to be an inspiration to me and I listen to you daily when I can on my Sirius radio. Thank you so much for all you do for everyone.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Nadine<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-09-05T17:57:00Z
Correcting False Claims of the Christian Practice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Correcting-False-Claims-of-the-Christian-Practice/-932514984958205708.html
2014-09-04T17:58:00Z
2014-09-04T17:58:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />THANK YOU for calling out people on their bogus "we're supposed to forgive" excuses for accommodating evil. And you have correctly noted before, the appropriate context of forgiveness, and what forgiveness does and does not mean. Over and over again, throughout the entire Bible, we are called to be wise and discerning, to USE OUR MINDS, and judge RIGHTLY rather than self-righteously or hypocritically. You won't find a passage where Jesus specifically talks about sex abuse of children because it SHOULD ALREADY BE SELF EVIDENT!<br /><br />One of our most basic functions as parents, grandparents, a family, a community is to stop evil, NOT welcome evildoers into situations where they will be tempted to do more evil. If a child abuser is truly repentant and wants to attend church which is different than a family function then what happens is special arrangements are made with church staff so the person will always be supervised while at church functions and never allowed to be in contact with children.<br /><br />Being Christian doesn't have to mean being stupid or a doormat!<br /><br />Kenneth<br />
Staff
2014-09-04T17:58:00Z
After They Cheat...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/After-They-Cheat.../724531264036518388.html
2014-09-04T17:57:00Z
2014-09-04T17:57:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Sadly, I have had several family and friends who have gone through an ordeal with a cheating spouse. I have found there is no black and white answer to the question if there should be one strike or not. I was always a one strike person until I matured more in both experience and my marriage. I felt I could never forgive someone who slept with another man after giving her all to me. I now believe there are times when you should not divorce, but forgive and move ahead. <br /><br />In one instance, after my longtime friend's wife came to me saying she and my friend were no longer close and wanted me to intervene, I found it was already too late. When each told me their side, I was surprised to find out for 3 years they had been basically loveless and avoided each other to the point of waiting until one or the other went to bed before coming home from work. Here it was a matter of time. Although she did start to read your book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" without his knowledge, and he did see changes when he came home after work, it was already too late as he had stepped over the line. I strongly felt if they solved the issues which had torn apart their 20 year marriage, and she could forgive him, they could flourish again. Instead she stopped reading your book, vehemently rejected it, and used this overstep to do away with her ties to him. It was clear she was angry and had no remorse over the loss of 20 years or cared for the impact on her kids. It was an easy out of a marriage she had abandoned years ago. <br /><br />The one I say is one strike is the promiscuous wife or philandering husband. Most likely, they had a similar personality when they dated and in fact you usually find they cheated then too, but they thought it would stop with marriage or kids. In this case I see no reason for the person to stay with them as they will do it again and are not really sorry for doing it no matter how good an actor they are. I am amazed at how many spouses want to hold on to these marriages which seem to have no hope while those who fell into temptation because their marriages had died and just needed to breathe new life are ready to give up on their marriages! <br /><br />For me personally, I believe in my religious convictions that Jesus says God hates divorce, unequivocal. He also asks us to pray that we forgive others as we have been forgiven. He also gave us the one reason being adultery in which we may seek divorce but he implies we should seek union rather than separation. So if they are truly repentant my hope is that they will always seek to reunite, but if that person cannot forgive the adulterer then it is better to part. So my own conclusion is always try to reconcile. For the grass is not greener on the other side and like we were told on the playground after a fight, where both pointed to the other for starting it, it takes two! <br /><br />David<br /><br />
Staff
2014-09-04T17:57:00Z
Best Text Ever
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Best-Text-Ever/430449760185375270.html
2014-09-03T17:58:00Z
2014-09-03T17:58:00Z
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1409771580811_3303" class="yiv9217910052MsoPlainText"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Only you will understand. I cried like a little girl when my husband of 14 years left this morning for his annual boys' trip. He is going to be gone for 5 days - 5 whole days! The days will be hard as I am a stay-at-home mom of 3 girls who makes homemade bread daily, is schlepping them to soccer, coaching one team and getting ready to start homeschooling. That's not why I cried. I cried because I will miss him.<br /><br />An hour later, I sent him a text message apologizing for the scene I made. He wrote this back, "The truth is I love you. And I miss you every second we are apart, but I am a man, so I don't show it the way you do. I am proud to be your man and take care of you girls." This coming from a man who has texted me 3 times in the last year. Best text ever. Best man ever.<br /><br />Your biggest fan,<br /><br />A. <br /></span></p>
Staff
2014-09-03T17:58:00Z
A Real Woman...A Real Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Real-Woman...A-Real-Man/828426632365942719.html
2014-09-03T17:57:00Z
2014-09-03T17:57:00Z
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1409771580811_3303" class="yiv9217910052MsoPlainText"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am writing to share the attached photo that I found on Facebook. I am a frequent listener and <a href="http://www.facebook.com/DrLaura" target="_blank">follow you on Facebook</a>. I love seeing your cute, funny and inspiring posts. This one made me think of you and your message to women about feminism. <br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/letter_090314.jpg" alt="" /> <br /><br />I am 34 years old and am on a mission to break down the walls put up in my life by feminism so I can truly be my husband's girlfriend through and through! So far I've had great success in my mission. I'm happy also to say my husband is a real man, so I had no choice if I wanted to keep him. I have three kids: a 7-year-old boy, a 4-year-old girl and a 3-year-old boy. I'm not just on this mission for myself, but for my kids. My prayer is they are a generation that will go against the grain of culture and have natural affection, respect, and a loving spirit. <br /><br />Thank you for always speaking the truth in love! <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Shannon <br /></span></p>
Staff
2014-09-03T17:57:00Z
Listen to Your Gut
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Listen-to-Your-Gut/14525467645488166.html
2014-09-02T17:58:00Z
2014-09-02T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv9269855499MsoPlainText"><span><br />Hi Dr. Laura,</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1409674197314_31894" class="yiv9269855499MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1409674197314_31893">I am 50 years old and have been divorced for 6 years now - we separated for 2 years prior to that. I knew the day I got married I was marrying the wrong man. Unfortunately, I didn't have the guts to cancel the wedding because I felt that doing so would let everyone down. For 14 years, I made the best of it and even had 4 kids with him. I was not happy in my marriage but thought that because of the kids, I needed to stay married and would leave when my youngest turned 18.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1409674197314_31899" class="yiv9269855499MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1409674197314_31898">The defining moment not to wait was when I got a phone call from my children's' school telling me the police and child services were there on suspicions of child abuse. Sure enough, while I was at work, my husband, who had retired early, was abusing the kids. At that moment, I knew I couldn't wait. When my now ex-husband refused to get help for his anger issues, I packed up my kids, moved out and never looked back. "Daddy" refused to leave the house. For the first few years, it was very difficult financially. However, we got through it and 8 years later my children are thriving.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1409674197314_31904" class="yiv9269855499MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1409674197314_31903">When your gut says you are marrying the wrong man, trust your gut.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1409674197314_31908" class="yiv9269855499MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1409674197314_31910">Wendy</span></p>
<p class="yiv0452808638msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-09-02T17:58:00Z
Letting a Friendship Dry Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Letting-a-Friendship-Dry-Up/-870395051054216631.html
2014-09-02T17:57:00Z
2014-09-02T17:57:00Z
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1409674197314_31849" class="yiv9269855499MsoPlainText"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br />Dear Dr. Laura;</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1409674197314_31860" class="yiv9269855499MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1409674197314_31859">While I don't always agree with your advice, I like to listen to you because you make me re-evaluate my thinking constantly.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1409674197314_31865" class="yiv9269855499MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1409674197314_31864">A few years ago, I had a friend whose behavior I thought was getting worse and worse. She had been married, no children, divorced twice and was emailing me about this new man she was seeing… a married man. I thought this was so awful and immoral, I started to question more of her actions and what she had said in previous conversations… How she took three classes at a community college and did not understand how people could manage to go to school full-time - she was exhausted! Mind you she had no children or a job. She wanted to become pregnant while being married to hubby #2, but pregnancy wasn't in the cards, but could not afford to adopt. So how could she afford a baby at all? Later, she told me, after her 3rd husband was divorced and married to her, that weekends with her hubby's children were a chore and she was just not a 'family woman'! I realized that this woman only wanted to please herself, had no consideration for anyone else, and was not accountable to anyone. I did not make a big fuss, I just let the 'friendship' dry up. I did not reply to her emails or invite her to gatherings. Eventually, she just stopped contacting me. I don't believe that anything I could have said to her would have changed her; she would have thought I was just old-fashioned. I don't need her in my life.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1409674197314_31870" class="yiv9269855499MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1409674197314_31923">Thank you, Dr. Laura.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1409674197314_31874" class="yiv9269855499MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1409674197314_31933">Anne</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1409674197314_31876" class="yiv9269855499MsoPlainText"><span> </span></p>
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Staff
2014-09-02T17:57:00Z
Signs You Shouldn't Trust Someone
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Signs-You-Shouldnt-Trust-Someone/-862235294700095276.html
2014-08-22T17:58:00Z
2014-08-22T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv0452808638msoplaintext"><br />Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv0452808638msoplaintext">The biggest advice I wish I had taken from people is if a person has cheated before, particularly more than once, then don't trust them with your heart.</p>
<p class="yiv0452808638msoplaintext">I fell in love with a man who cheated on his ex-wife, as well as, cheated on two other girlfriends he had. This was a man in his 50's!!! Even though he cheated on other women, he swore he would never do that to me and very stupidly, I believed it would be different with me. WRONG! All the signs were there: not having his cell phone around me, not bringing me around his friends, and not having one picture anywhere of us at his home or at his office. Why? After a few years of dating him, I found out he was dating another woman. She had no idea of me and I had no idea of her. I then made the HUGE mistake of getting back together with him based on promises he was going to change and get counseling for his "issues".</p>
<p class="yiv0452808638msoplaintext">Within another year, he started in with the phone hiding again and not bringing me around his friends. Sure enough, he had another woman who lived 2 hours away who he would go see every other weekend when I was told he was on "business trips".</p>
<p class="yiv0452808638msoplaintext">I know some people DO feel remorse when they cheat, but if someone has cheated on more than relationship, it's a matter of time before they do it to the next one. Thank you for being a voice of reason even if people like me sometimes ignore your advice. <strong>No more ignoring your advice.</strong></p>
<p class="yiv0452808638msoplaintext">Wendy</p>
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Staff
2014-08-22T17:58:00Z
What's the Number?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Whats-the-Number/656744098851083664.html
2014-08-22T17:57:00Z
2014-08-22T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv0452808638msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv0452808638msoplaintext"><br />Dear Dr Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv0452808638msoplaintext">I am a divorced mom of two boys who started listening to you shortly after my husband left. You are responsible for the backbone I grew and my ability to be my kids' mom, not their friend.</p>
<p class="yiv0452808638msoplaintext">One time when the boys were still small, we were sitting in a restaurant when the comment card caught my son's eye. "What does that say?” he asked. "It's a number you can call to leave your comments", I replied. "What is the number?” he asked. As I started reading 1-800, he excitedly interrupted saying "I know what it is! It's 1-800-DrLaura."</p>
<p class="yiv0452808638msoplaintext">Thank you for helping me raise my boys to become the men they are.</p>
<p class="yiv0452808638msoplaintext">Dorinda</p>
<p class="yiv0452808638msoplaintext"> </p>
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Staff
2014-08-22T17:57:00Z
Change in Attitude Has Changed Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Change-in-Attitude-Has-Changed-Me/249514039990669594.html
2014-08-21T17:58:00Z
2014-08-21T17:58:00Z
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2748" class="yiv2151517789MsoPlainText"> </p>
<p class="yiv1759247011msoplaintext">The biggest lie I ever told myself was when someone else bothered me. A lot of my own misery was caused by my habit of feeling sorry for myself and playing the victim. I do not have the luxury to indulge in that stuff and have a happy life, never mind joyous and free.</p>
<p class="yiv1759247011msoplaintext">Because of this change in MY attitude - I have much better relationships with my two daughters and friends who disappointment me. Some I had to let go of as they were living lives that were immoral and expecting me to validate them. I even had to let go of a relationship with my oldest sister because I tried and tried and thought things would change - we were both adults now - but they didn't. So I can bless her from 5,000 miles away and remember the great things I loved about her as we grew up. She was an integral part of my happiness and even affection as a child. But we all change somewhat as we get older.</p>
<p class="yiv1759247011msoplaintext">Now I write a gratitude list so when my daughter disappoints me and I feel sad and want to hold up a martyrdom sign saying POOR ME while walking Main Street, I think about what my part is in these emotions. It generally boils down to self-pity and a dash of fear that I would lose the love that is there. So no matter what another person does - I have free choice as to what I DO about it and self-pity serves no purpose unless it motivates me to CHANGE into a better person and experience happiness, joy and freedom - the things I am sure are God's Will for me.</p>
<p class="yiv1759247011msoplaintext">Marlowe</p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2748" class="yiv2151517789MsoPlainText"> </p>
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Staff
2014-08-21T17:58:00Z
Greek Yogurt
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Greek-Yogurt/-254980604688494749.html
2014-08-21T17:57:00Z
2014-08-21T17:57:00Z
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2748" class="yiv2151517789MsoPlainText"> </p>
<p class="yiv1759247011msoplaintext">A few days ago I heard Dr. Laura mention Greek yogurt with little enthusiasm for the product. I was not familiar with Greek yogurt until my teenage daughter introduced me to it. It did not take me long, along with suggestions from my daughter, to figure out to make it quite desirable to consume.</p>
<p class="yiv1759247011msoplaintext">It is really good in what I call "International Fruit Salad". The secret is to stir into the Greek yogurt honey in whatever amount that suits your taste. You can vary the fruits, but I really like this combination:</p>
<blockquote>
<p class="yiv1759247011msoplaintext">Bananas<br />Mangoes<br />Blueberries<br />Large dark sweet cherries<br />Walnuts<br />0% fat unsweetened Greek yogurt.<br />Sesame seeds<br />Poppy seeds</p>
</blockquote>
<p class="yiv1759247011msoplaintext">It is quite easy to make this salad a bowl at a time, or you can make it in larger quantities. Preparation is quite simple.</p>
<p class="yiv1759247011msoplaintext">Just cut up and mix the fruit and walnuts. Place 1 to 1.5 cups of Greek yogurt in a measuring cup and add honey organic raw honey is great to personal taste. Hand stir the honey and yogurt until mixed well. Pour mixture on top of the fruit. Then sprinkle sesame and poppy seeds on top.</p>
<p class="yiv1759247011msoplaintext">The fruit salad is awesome!</p>
<p class="yiv1759247011msoplaintext">Mark</p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2748" class="yiv2151517789MsoPlainText"> </p>
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Staff
2014-08-21T17:57:00Z
Thin is Better than Dead
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thin-is-Better-than-Dead/324039741084356215.html
2014-08-20T17:58:00Z
2014-08-20T17:58:00Z
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2748" class="yiv2151517789MsoPlainText"> </p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408465157229_34770" class="yiv9183914854MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408465157229_34799">Dr. Laura,</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408465157229_34785" class="yiv9183914854MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408465157229_34784">Recently, I called you regarding me moving on from my cancer battle. I wanted to let you know I'm following your guidance and I'm already working with 3 pound weights and doing wall push-ups. I'm up to 2 sets of 30! I am determined to get my strength back and I have your words ingrained in my head: "Thin is better than dead." In fact any time I begin to have a pissy party, I remind myself I'm not dead. I survived this and I've got this!! Thank you for my mantra.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408465157229_34796" class="yiv9183914854MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408465157229_34795">Here is a picture of myself when I was at my worst and how I look today. I WILL build my body back up and I will make sure to send you a picture of my accomplishments. Thank you again Dr. Laura for helping me come back stronger than ever!!!</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408465157229_34776" class="yiv9183914854MsoPlainText"><span>Michele</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408465157229_6602" class="yiv4087327695MsoPlainText"><img src="/images/blog/letter_082014.jpg" alt="" /></p>
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Staff
2014-08-20T17:58:00Z
Newborn Won't Let Go of Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Newborn-Wont-Let-Go-of-Mom/613273694993788033.html
2014-08-20T17:57:00Z
2014-08-20T17:57:00Z
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408465157229_34751" class="yiv9183914854MsoPlainText"><br />You have to see this. It is a video of a newborn’s first moments of life and captures the bond between a mother and child. The nurse sets the on the mother's cheek. The baby touches the mother, peaceful, but when the nurse takes the child away to clean it, the baby cries until returned to Mom.</p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408465157229_34758" class="yiv9183914854MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408465157229_34757">No mother should be able to leave their kid in day care after <strong><a href="http://www.freeflys.com/blog/2014/08/newborn-refuses-mother/" target="_blank">seeing this</a></strong>!</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408465157229_34760" class="yiv9183914854MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408465157229_34839">Sandra</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2748" class="yiv2151517789MsoPlainText"> </p>
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Staff
2014-08-20T17:57:00Z
How to Apologize
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-to-Apologize/-338982822337869955.html
2014-08-20T17:56:00Z
2014-08-20T17:56:00Z
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2748" class="yiv2151517789MsoPlainText"><br />Hi, Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv4716177914msoplaintext">I'd like to share a story about how I followed your advice on how to apologize correctly to your spouse: be sincere, own up to it and no excuses. It worked and our fight ended in less than an hour.</p>
<p class="yiv4716177914msoplaintext">Our fight started the night before. I was telling him about why I had to end a friendship with my best friend. The discussion became a big blow-up. I slammed the door. He yelled, stormed downstairs and slept in the guest room. Morning came, there was no talking between us and he went to work. Slowly I started to realize it's silly to fight with my husband over a problem with my friend. Fearing the silent treatment was going to continue when he came home from work, I decided to use your suggestion and email him at work.<br /><br /></p>
<p class="yiv4716177914msoplaintext">Here's my apology:</p>
<blockquote>
<p class="yiv4716177914msoplaintext">"Honey, I'm so sorry for what happened last night and there was no excuse for me to do that. Please forgive me. When I said "you never support me", it means I feel you don't support me in this matter, being mistreated by my girlfriend. You've been the supporter and protector of us since day one. I hope you will accept my apology. I love you. - Ana"</p>
</blockquote>
<p class="yiv4716177914msoplaintext">Reply from husband 40 minutes later:</p>
<blockquote>
<p class="yiv4716177914msoplaintext">"I love you too. I know you are under stress with what happened. I am on your side as we are family and for sure I won't say she is right because she seems insensitive. However, if you ask me to judge the circumstances of how it happened, I will say how I look at it - which was not a big thing to begin with. You, of all people, should know that I don't lie. But that doesn't mean I support her. Why would I support her as I don't know her beyond being the mother of our daughter's friend?"</p>
</blockquote>
<p class="yiv4716177914msoplaintext">Thank you for your nagging, Dr. Laura.</p>
<p class="yiv4716177914msoplaintext">Ana</p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2748" class="yiv2151517789MsoPlainText"> </p>
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Staff
2014-08-20T17:56:00Z
I Didn't Tell My Sisters to Bug Off
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Didnt-Tell-My-Sisters-to-Bug-Off/-300665036544994377.html
2014-08-19T17:58:00Z
2014-08-19T17:58:00Z
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2748" class="yiv2151517789MsoPlainText"> </p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408465157229_6602" class="yiv4087327695MsoPlainText">My biggest regret was being too polite and too stupid, but smart enough to realize that arguing with my sisters would have been pointless. My 3 sisters are feminists and even though they are stay-at-home moms, they literally order their men around and demand they do 50% of the share of everything, even changing the babies' diapers. It is mortifying to watch them snap at their husbands. They picked wisely but the men picked poorly.</p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408465157229_6600" class="yiv4087327695MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408465157229_6599">I did not pick wisely in that I have to work to help pay the mortgage, but we lost the house when my husband got sick and lost his job. When my husband and I were both working, my sisters used to cause trouble by being rude to him and making sure my husband watched the kids at family gatherings. It was funny and sad to watch my sisters pick up my girls and bring them to my husband so he could watch them. They did not seem to care that I wanted to be with my girls 24/7 when I was not working. I allowed their ideas to color my view as a wife and breadwinner. I added to my husband's feeling of inadequacy by nagging him. Instead of being there for him, I was not supportive emotionally. Now, I am happy he is just home with us. I realize I can only control how I act and so I think about what I want and need before I speak. We no longer "own" a house, but we are happier. We are a family and recognize each other's strengths and weaknesses. I am also told by others that our kids are the best well-mannered and almost trouble free kids: 19, 17, 15 year old girls. We are blessed.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408465157229_6628" class="yiv4087327695MsoPlainText"><span>Frances</span></p>
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<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2788" class="yiv2151517789MsoPlainText"> </p>
Staff
2014-08-19T17:58:00Z
If I Could Change Anything
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/If-I-Could-Change-Anything/-593400926109663056.html
2014-08-19T17:57:00Z
2014-08-19T17:57:00Z
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2748" class="yiv2151517789MsoPlainText"><br />Although my kids are all in their 20's, I deeply regret not raising them. I outsourced their upbringing to caregivers as I was a widowed mom - Dad was deceased. I elected to stay in a high power, executive job to provide for my children. Private schools, private universities, privilege; that's what I provided for my children. What I regret is that I brought my PC to my kids' soccer games, I traveled most weeks, I never had enough time for my kids. If I could change anything, I would have settled for a lesser lifestyle and raised my children myself. I am fortunate I have a very strong relationship with my kids and although I was absent while they were growing up, we are very close now.</p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408465157229_8138" class="yiv4087327695MsoPlainText"><span class="yui_3_16_0_1_1408465157229_7821">Gail</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408465157229_7965" class="yiv4087327695MsoNormal"> </p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408465157229_6602" class="yiv4087327695MsoPlainText"> </p>
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<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2788" class="yiv2151517789MsoPlainText"> </p>
Staff
2014-08-19T17:57:00Z
Regretting My Remarriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Regretting-My-Remarriage/-664437014860242054.html
2014-08-18T17:58:00Z
2014-08-18T17:58:00Z
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2788" class="yiv2151517789MsoPlainText"><br />Dr. Laura,</p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2762" class="yiv2151517789MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2761">I married a man who was an alcoholic. I was young and "in love" and didn't think you could be an alcoholic drinking beer. We separated when our son was 4 and I divorced him 6 years later. During those 6 years, I was my kid's mom. He was my life. My ex and I were still very close and one or both of us were at every event in our son's life.</span></p>
<p class="yiv2151517789MsoPlainText"><span>When our son was 13 my ex was killed in a DUI accident. He was the passenger, his girlfriend was the driver, and they were both extremely drunk.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2764" class="yiv2151517789MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2763">I remarried when my son was 16. Dr. Laura, oh how I wish I would have devoted those few precious years to my son. I wanted to be married again and wanted a male in my son's life. My husband is not a bad guy he's just not a father figure to my son. He had a horrible childhood and never knew his dad. He had 3 children who lived with their mom 10 hours away. Dr. Laura it sounded so "hard" to be alone all of those years, but now I live daily with regret. I didn't have my son around when we were dating. We dated for a year and a half then got married. When we moved into my husband's house it was awkward. One of his sons, the same age, lived with him and our two sons were as different as night & day. My son moved out when he turned 18. My son is 24 now and we have a great relationship. He and my husband are friends, but not close.</span></p>
<p class="yiv2151517789MsoPlainText"><span>I've been married for over 8 years and truly believe we shouldn't have gotten married. I know he loves me in his own way, but will he go through shark infested waters for me? NO. He would tell me that I didn't need that. We get along most of the time but I can't say we will stay together for the rest of our lives.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2767" class="yiv2151517789MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2766">Dr. Laura keep stressing to men and women the importance of being their kids' parents. My son knows I love him, but he really went through a hard time for several years after his dad passed and I wish I hadn't remarried. Maybe I could have helped my son better. He did get into some drugs and alcohol and got a DUI, but is now on the right track. But living a life of regret is hard for a parent. Thank you Dr. Laura for being who you are. There's not very many people giving the advice today you give and the world needs to hear it!</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2770" class="yiv2151517789MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2769">God Bless You!</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2772" class="yiv2151517789MsoPlainText"><span>Dee</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408122788299_4233" class="yiv4402559595MsoPlainText"> </p>
Staff
2014-08-18T17:58:00Z
The Book that Impacted My Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Book-that-Impacted-My-Life/672563294683017096.html
2014-08-18T17:57:00Z
2014-08-18T17:57:00Z
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2748" class="yiv2151517789MsoPlainText"><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2754" class="yiv2151517789MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2753">I finished reading your book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands," on a plane yesterday. It was life changing for me. I had no idea what a horrible, unhappy spouse I have been. I have been controlling and sometimes just plain mean and evil. My relationship was not showing any signs of trouble, but it was only a matter of time. I love this man more than anything on the planet, but I certainly didn't act like it.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2757" class="yiv2151517789MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2756">I now have a plan. I am going to rock my man's world. I am going to be less controlling and give him more love, compassion and definitely more sex.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2760" class="yiv2151517789MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2759">I downloaded "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage" for the flight back home.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2823" class="yiv2151517789MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2822">Thank you Dr. Laura. I can think of no other book that has had such an impact on my life.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2820" class="yiv2151517789MsoPlainText"><span>All the best,</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2817" class="yiv2151517789MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2818">Karen, my husband's new girlfriend</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408386999521_2788" class="yiv2151517789MsoPlainText"> </p>
Staff
2014-08-18T17:57:00Z
Making It Work as a Stay-at-Home Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-It-Work-as-a-Stay-at-Home-Mom/-133067326401584733.html
2014-08-15T17:58:00Z
2014-08-15T17:58:00Z
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408122788299_4233" class="yiv4402559595MsoPlainText"><br />I became a stay-at-home mom in 2006 when our first son was born. We had only been married a few months when we found out we were expecting. It really messed up our plans, but in a good way!</p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408122788299_4232" class="yiv4402559595MsoPlainText">At the time I was working full time and my husband was going to school full time. Our plan was for him to finish in a few years and then he'd work and we would start a family. I'm so grateful I married a real man! He got a full-time job that thankfully worked with his full-time school schedule. It was a rough couple of years, but he still graduated on time with honors, with no government assistance or debt! We were dirt poor but happy!</p>
<p class="yiv4402559595MsoPlainText"><span>Fast forward a few years, two more kids and my husband is back in school for a graduate degree. He's still working full time as well. Even though he has a better paying job, we still go without a lot of things most people now consider needs: no smart phones, cable, fancy vacations, etc. We drive 14 and 17-year-old cars, but recently we were able to purchase a nice home 5 minutes from my husband's office sot we can spend more time with him.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408122788299_4217" class="yiv4402559595MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408122788299_4216">People tell me I'm lucky I get to stay home and homeschool my kids, but luck has absolutely nothing to do with it! A few weeks ago we visited a classmate of my husband's who had a three-week-old baby - their first. He was so precious! They have a gorgeous, huge, brand new home that was furnished nicely. I admit I was feeling a little jealous; however, during our conversation they brought up how expensive child care is. I assumed she would be staying home with this precious baby, but no, she is going back to work "only 3 days a week" when he is 8 weeks old! But luckily they were able to find a "really nice lady" who they met only once and who "only has four other two year olds to take care of" which "makes it better than a huge day care". I looked at the baby I was holding, my own crazy two year old, and thought, "What would I do with four of him running around and a newborn?" My jaw about hit the floor! Any jealous feelings I had immediately vanished! I made sure to tell my husband that night how grateful I am he provides for us and values me as a stay-at-home mom! I admitted I was jealous of his friend - until they said they were putting their baby in day care. He agreed! We're still poor compared to most, but we are happy!</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408122788299_4220" class="yiv4402559595MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408122788299_4219">Thanks for all that you do to support us "lucky" stay-at-home moms!</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408122788299_4222" class="yiv4402559595MsoPlainText"><span>Candiss</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408122788299_4225" class="yiv4402559595MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408122788299_4224">P.S. We went on our first real vacation as a family last December. We drove our small Honda Accord from Utah to San Diego with no electronics just a few audio books and made it back with our sanity intact!</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407955288384_9511" class="yiv6830627636MsoNormal"> </p>
Staff
2014-08-15T17:58:00Z
Going Against the Grain of Culture
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Going-Against-the-Grain-of-Culture/319871800785392949.html
2014-08-15T17:57:00Z
2014-08-15T17:57:00Z
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408122788299_4196" class="yiv4402559595MsoPlainText"><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408122788299_4201" class="yiv4402559595MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408122788299_4200">I am writing to share the photo below I found on Facebook. I am a frequent listener and follow you on Facebook. I love seeing your cute, funny and inspiring posts. This one made me think of you and your message to women about feminism.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408122788299_4204" class="yiv4402559595MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408122788299_4203">I am 34 years old and am on a mission to break down the walls put up in my life by feminism so I can truly be my husband's girlfriend through and through! So far I've had great success in my mission. I'm happy also to say my husband is a real man, so I had no choice if I wanted to keep him. I have three kids, a 7, 4 and 3. I'm not just on this mission for myself, but for my kids. My prayer is that they are a generation who will go against the grain of culture and have natural affection, respect, and a loving spirit.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408122788299_4207" class="yiv4402559595MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408122788299_4206">Thank you for always speaking the truth in love!</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408122788299_4209" class="yiv4402559595MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408122788299_4265">Sincerely,</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408122788299_4211" class="yiv4402559595MsoPlainText"><span>Shannon</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1408122788299_4233" class="yiv4402559595MsoPlainText"><img src="/images/blog/letter_081514.jpg" alt="" /></p>
Staff
2014-08-15T17:57:00Z
My Wife's Smile
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Wifes-Smile/924297657347020809.html
2014-08-14T17:58:00Z
2014-08-14T17:58:00Z
<p>One of your polls struck a nerve. The poll asked, "Do you think happy people are just naturally happy or do they create their own happiness?" I voted "Naturally happy," but truthfully, I am ambivalent on this. I think it is different for each person.</p>
<p>When I was married to my wife, I was as happy as a clam. Then, after she passed away, I have been in a funk for over 11 years now. Personally, my happiness was tied to my circumstance, and being married and having a family was all I ever really wanted from life. After a very short 16 years and 8 months, I was alone again and my happiness evaporated. </p>
<p>My wife, on the other hand, was a very naturally happy person, always upbeat, always thinking things will work out, always looking at the bright side of things, and always smiling. And her smile was always genuine, never forced or fake. The night before she passed, our 14-year-old daughter and I went to visit her in the ICU. My wife knew how grave the situation was. But there she was, being hooked up to hoses and needles and machines as doctors tried to save her life, and when I walked in, she looked up and SMILED at me! She had one of those infectious smiles, a toothy grin that could light up a room, even as it turns out, THAT room. I will never forget that moment. </p>
<p>Albert</p>
<p> </p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407955288384_9511" class="yiv6830627636MsoNormal"> </p>
Staff
2014-08-14T17:58:00Z
One Trick of Nature
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/One-Trick-of-Nature/791981791392084579.html
2014-08-14T17:56:00Z
2014-08-14T17:56:00Z
<p>One of my patients, a middle-aged drug dealer and pimp, explained how he turns a young woman. His specialty was turning nice-looking young women into prostitutes to work for him. He would pick out a clean-looking virgin, court her, and give her great sex. Her hormones would then bond her to him - "I love him." Physiologically, big doses of prolactin and oxytocin are released with caressing and especially orgasm. I had a chance to see the results of this in action a year or so later when his IV drug use had given him an infection that destroyed his tricuspid valve, so he was always short of breath. The young, middle-class woman with him was adamant that he should get disability!! Now, I have known men who dealt drugs out of a wheelchair, so it was my opinion that he could still support himself, but of course he was now too short of breath to bring a woman to orgasm!</p>
<p>What you CAN say to the abused woman is "your hormones are deceiving you". She got attached before she was abused, and the abuser may very well make up after the abuse with more great sex. It feels like love, but it is a trick of nature.</p>
<p>Carolyn</p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407955288384_9511" class="yiv6830627636MsoNormal"> </p>
Staff
2014-08-14T17:56:00Z
Positive Attitude Is Good Medicine
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Positive-Attitude-Is-Good-Medicine/-571424217792594613.html
2014-08-13T17:58:00Z
2014-08-13T17:58:00Z
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407955288384_9511" class="yiv6830627636MsoNormal"><br />You recently <strong id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407955288384_9494"><a href="/b/Facing-Mortality/898004497710167649.html">read a letter</a></strong> from me on the air. I am truly honored. I'm the Marine who has had a few health issues starting at age 38. The letter is all fact. However, after listening, I think I failed to accomplish my objective. I wrote in reaction to a recent female caller who was told she has an autoimmune disease which will be fatal in 10 years. She sounded resigned to her fate. I think she should challenge her fate.</p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407955288384_9486" class="yiv6830627636MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407955288384_9485">Through my mishaps opportunities, I've learned that in some cases a positive attitude can defeat medical issues better than medicine. One doctor told me that avoiding stress, eating the right foods, and getting plenty of rest often produces better results than many medicines, with positive side effects rather than those listed for most prescriptions. For example: eating right, sleeping well and being happy don't cause diarrhea!</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407955288384_9489" class="yiv6830627636MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407955288384_9488">My intended point was, ten years is a long time. Medicines may get better. Lifestyle changes and a positive attitude may change the outcome of the medical problem. This has happened many times and will continue to happen. I've heard doctors look at good charts and say "I'll never be able to explain this." Even if the outcome doesn't change, the intervening ten years should be more enjoyable for everyone. Live life like you're going to live. Life is a blessing and an adventure. Be grateful for the blessing and enjoy the adventures.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407955288384_9498" class="yiv6830627636MsoPlainText"><span>Kevin</span></p>
<p class="yiv6150054733msonormal"> </p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22069" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"> </p>
Staff
2014-08-13T17:58:00Z
Sex as a Weapon
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sex-as-a-Weapon/-721696042110776791.html
2014-08-13T17:57:00Z
2014-08-13T17:57:00Z
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407955288384_9511" class="yiv6830627636MsoNormal"> </p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407955288384_9471" class="yiv6830627636MsoNormal"><br />About 30 years ago, after we had been married for a year, I decided to use sex as a weapon. I can't remember the offense, but I swore off sex for a week. We had been intimate every day previous to this.</p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407955288384_9894" class="yiv6830627636MsoNormal">About 4 days into the punishment, my husband laughed at me and said, "If you give punishment, you should use something that doesn't hurt YOU too. I was concerned, but now I can see that this is as bad as, and maybe worse, for you as it is for me."</p>
<p class="yiv6830627636MsoNormal">Lesson learned. Sex was never a weapon in our marriage again.</p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407955288384_9892" class="yiv6830627636MsoNormal">June</p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407955288384_9890" class="yiv6830627636MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="yiv6150054733msonormal"> </p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22069" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"> </p>
Staff
2014-08-13T17:57:00Z
Dr. Laura Loved This Engagement Video
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dr.-Laura-Loved-This-Engagement-Video/-958925481997714289.html
2014-08-12T17:58:00Z
2014-08-12T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv6150054733msonormal"><span>Dr. Laura,</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407862679046_9511" class="yiv6150054733msonormal"><span>Thank you for your advice on my sister who refused to come to our wedding. Unfortunately, she changed her mind (last minute) 2 weeks before my wedding and said she would like to attend. Yep! She's a gem! Either way, I kept your words in mind by not letting her get in the way and had the time of my life! So thank you for your guidance and support. If it were not for you I don't know how I would have made it through with my family.</span></p>
<p class="yiv6150054733msonormal"><span>Meaghan</span></p>
<p class="yiv6150054733msonormal"><span>P.S. I know you love engagement videos, so <strong><a href="http://vimeo.com/75966919" target="_blank">here's a good one</a><a href="http://vimeo.com/75966919" target="_blank"></a></strong>! Matt and I are both high school teachers in Illinois and he asked me on the 50 yard line in front of 1500 students. I hope you like it!</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22069" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"><a href="http://vimeo.com/75966919" target="_blank"><img src="/images/blog/letter_081214.jpg" alt="" /></a></p>
Staff
2014-08-12T17:58:00Z
Divorce's Effects on Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Divorces-Effects-on-Children/294843169038530100.html
2014-08-12T17:57:00Z
2014-08-12T17:57:00Z
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22069" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"><br />I heard another show on my way home today on SiriusXM. The subject was having a positive divorce. I was surprised to hear that subject. Obviously, these talk show hosts need to listen to your show and I emailed that suggestion to them.</p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407862679046_9482" class="yiv6150054733msonormal"><span>There were 5 of us between the ages of 7 and 18 when my parents divorced. Imagine being 11 and seeing your dad kiss another woman or seeing your mom's boyfriend spend the night and later move in, or having to alternate holidays and weekends. I am 47 and can run through a long list of how divorce affects your life. Our family suffers from alcoholism, anxiety, depression, etc. I believe what you say about choosing wisely - treating kindly, and putting your kids first. So for the divorced parents out there who think their kids are okay with the divorce, think again.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407862679046_9484" class="yiv6150054733msonormal"><span>Actually, think FIRST before you marry and have children. We don't need to accept that a 50 percent divorce rate is okay or the norm. We can do better as a society and as a family.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407862679046_9486" class="yiv6150054733msonormal"><span>Kimberly</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22069" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"> </p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407778335151_32734" class="yiv2454077587MsoPlainText"><span> </span></p>
<p class="yiv7475785287msoplaintext"> </p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22069" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"> </p>
<p class="yiv5690137529msonormal"> </p>
Staff
2014-08-12T17:57:00Z
Not All Girls Are Pigs
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Not-All-Girls-Are-Pigs/16324569253052891.html
2014-08-11T17:58:00Z
2014-08-11T17:58:00Z
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22069" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"><br />I think it is ironic you posted a blog titled, "<a href="/b/Girls-as-Pigs/943654162391295923.html">Girls as Pigs</a>" on July 14th which just happens to be the birthday of an amazing, very un-piggish young lady a.k.a. my daughter! </p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407778335151_32655" class="yiv2454077587MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407778335151_32654">I am happy to say that you are partially to blame for my daughter being a treasure. Years ago, after listening to your program, my dad told me to put off dating until my daughter was 18. I did and it protected her from the chaos of me being too emotionally and mentally wrapped up in a guy to pay attention to her. I stayed home with her as a divorced mom from the time she was 7 until she was 13 and even then I only worked part-time. She is now 21, a virgin, waiting patiently for a man who will respect her enough to honor her by getting married before having sex. She is modest and doesn't wear sleazy clothes because that is what I modeled for her.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407778335151_32659" class="yiv2454077587MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407778335151_32658">Which brings me to something that needs pointed out... these young girls need moms to model what being a lady is all about! Our daughters need us to pay attention to them, to tell them they are beautiful, to tell them they are a treasure, and tell them to keep themselves covered up. They need us to stop farming them out to schools and day care centers where they are ignored and left to their own devices!</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407778335151_32665" class="yiv2454077587MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407778335151_32664">For the record, I know at least four young ladies in the 20-something age range, who are not pigs. So, fellas don't give up! </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407778335151_32670" class="yiv2454077587MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407778335151_32669">Thanks Dr. Laura for making me be my daughter's mom!</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407778335151_32675" class="yiv2454077587MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407778335151_32683">Sincerely,</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407778335151_32679" class="yiv2454077587MsoPlainText"><span>Misty</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407778335151_32734" class="yiv2454077587MsoPlainText"><span> </span></p>
<p class="yiv7475785287msoplaintext"> </p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22069" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"> </p>
<p class="yiv5690137529msonormal"> </p>
Staff
2014-08-11T17:58:00Z
Defriending Someone
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Defriending-Someone/-438330679151173886.html
2014-08-11T17:57:00Z
2014-08-11T17:57:00Z
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22069" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"> </p>
<p class="yiv2454077587msoplaintext">Last year, a girlfriend of 5-6 years took me down in a venue that was personal and professional. And although we are in our late forties, we were assisting our teacher at an event. My friend was like a train running over me and others at high speed. It was bad! What I knew no one else on the team knew was that she had been drinking. I knew because I was her roommate and this is a pattern with her.</p>
<p class="yiv2454077587msoplaintext">The 'day after' this occurred, she was vicious to me - talking 'at' me and belittling me to no end. I could not wait to return home.</p>
<p class="yiv2454077587msoplaintext">After expressing my feelings in a lengthy email, I wanted nothing more to do with her nor did I want her to know anything about me or what I was doing. This was my close girlfriend and yet one of the only people I have ever defriended. I defriend someone when I feel like I do not need or deserve to be treated unkindly by them, particularly after I have helped and in many ways and there is an addiction. For me it is time for some space and privacy from that person. It remains today, without even a little doubt, the right thing for me to do what I did - I hit 'Defriend'. Done deal.</p>
<p class="yiv2454077587msoplaintext">Jane</p>
<p> </p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22069" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"> </p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407778335151_32734" class="yiv2454077587MsoPlainText"><span> </span></p>
<p class="yiv7475785287msoplaintext"> </p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22069" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"> </p>
<p class="yiv5690137529msonormal"> </p>
Staff
2014-08-11T17:57:00Z
Friending and Unfriending
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Friending-and-Unfriending/-167814425261363257.html
2014-08-08T17:58:00Z
2014-08-08T17:58:00Z
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22069" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"><br />I recently listened to a girlfriend who was relating the story of their good friend who suddenly stopped communicating with her. Apparently, the friend was offended that my friend had spent $10,000 on chemo therapy for her beloved dog. She had the money, wasn't ready to let the dog go and felt the need to buy some more time. None of which is anyone's business but hers.</p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407519872223_8573" class="yiv7475785287MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407519872223_8572">I responded that my criteria for ending a friendship is not so easy. I've had, what I thought, were girlfriends who I loved and enjoyed spending time with. In the end, I discovered they were more interested in my husband than in me. I've since learned to be very careful about those I invest in and introduce into my family.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407519872223_8578" class="yiv7475785287MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407519872223_8577">In the case of the aforementioned friend, I explained the only reason I can imagine myself walking away would be if she did something to hurt my husband or made herself available to him in any way at all that she couldn't tell me about. While she was a bit taken aback, she appreciated my forthrightness and explained she finds women who are that way as reprehensible as I do. We've become even better friends. All of this is to say, I think boundaries are important, they should be established at the onset and when they are violated deliberately, that should be a good reason to terminate the relationship. Friendship is two people sharing a journey and being strong when one is tired and weak so they can continue.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407519872223_8583" class="yiv7475785287MsoPlainText"><span>Michelle</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22069" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"> </p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22069" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"> </p>
<p class="yiv5690137529msonormal"> </p>
Staff
2014-08-08T17:58:00Z
Under-Age Drinking
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Under-Age-Drinking/-595682781065209934.html
2014-08-08T17:57:00Z
2014-08-08T17:57:00Z
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22069" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"> </p>
<p class="yiv7475785287msoplaintext"><span>Hi Dr. Laura,</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407519872223_8537" class="yiv7475785287msoplaintext"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407519872223_8536"><span>Thank you for ALWAYS encouraging parents to PARENT their kids until such time as they are given the "pink slip" to their life. Every stage has its challenges, but I am seeing that the teenage years present an increased need for involvement and firm boundaries. ALL TOO OFTEN, I see parents who don't have the time or don't care enough to set limits for their teens. I was encouraged by this mom's letter to her teenage son about under-age drinking.</span></span></p>
<blockquote>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407519872223_8543"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407519872223_8542"><span>As hard as it is for me to believe this, I’m the mother of a teenager. In fact, Tom will be entering 10th grade this September.</span></span></p>
<p id="yiv7475785287yui_3_15_0_1_1407526751385_612"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407519872223_8547"><span>The years have gone so fast that I really feel as if one day I was taking pictures of him graduating from our Mommy and Me class, the next day I couldn’t believe he was in the fourth grade, and then bang, he was in high school…</span></span></p>
<p id="yiv7475785287yui_3_15_0_1_1407526751385_615"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407519872223_8586"><span>Whenever my family or friends ask about Tom and marvel at the fact that he is now a teenager, the subject of alcohol and drugs always seems to come up. As in, how will I handle it when he comes home drunk for the first time? Or what will I do if I find out that he had been using drugs?</span></span></p>
<p id="yiv7475785287yui_3_15_0_1_1407526751385_627"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407519872223_8802"><span>I always find the questions a bit baffling because it’s just assumed that Tom will try these things. In fact, the common answer I get from most of my friends and family is that of course he will.</span></span></p>
<p id="yiv7475785287yui_3_15_0_1_1407526751385_630"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407519872223_8550"><span>Truth be told, I find this mindset maddening. And if I was a kid today, I would find it really confusing.</span></span></p>
</blockquote>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407519872223_8807" class="yiv7475785287msoplaintext"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407519872223_8806">Read the entire blog <a href="https://www.yahoo.com/health/an-open-letter-to-my-son-about-underage-drinking-92763705562.html" target="_blank">here</a>. </span></p>
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<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22069" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"> </p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22069" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"> </p>
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Staff
2014-08-08T17:57:00Z
Tantrums Are Not Just for Toddlers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Tantrums-Are-Not-Just-for-Toddlers/-540711024588749486.html
2014-08-07T17:58:00Z
2014-08-07T17:58:00Z
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22069" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"><br />Although I'm thankful my kids are all over 18 at this point, of course they threw tantrums growing up when they would not get their way. As a parent, you need to stand your ground, put up the medieval equivalent to a chain mail, and watch. Some children will throw fits that jeopardize their safety...you need to interfere against any long lasting bodily harm. But other than that, let them go.</p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407445338260_2025" class="yiv2747669800MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407445338260_2024">The most embarrassing, though not the worst, tantrum I experienced was at discharge from my daughter's kindergarten class. Just imagine, a bunch of friendly moms, some who I was actual friends with, waiting around for kindergarten to be dismissed. I had a younger sibling in a running stroller waiting for my precious to be discharged. There was a substitute that day, and my kindergartner had acted up. While I was waiting for this sub to explain, my lovely daughter proceeded to melt into the Ugly Witch of the West, kicking the side of the school, furious with me at that point because I had deposited her craft of the day into her back pack for the journey home and not in the correct way. I apologized to the substitute teacher, who was clearly upset by not understanding my kid at all and approached my child carefully, mindful that this was an out of control 5 year old.</span></p>
<p class="yiv2747669800MsoPlainText"><span>Me: "OK Honey, I think I have all your stuff, we need to walk home now."</span></p>
<p class="yiv2747669800MsoPlainText"><span>As an aside, there still was the bulk of the parents standing around watching the fireworks my daughter was generating.</span></p>
<p class="yiv2747669800MsoPlainText"><span>Darling Daughter: NO! I DON'T WANT TO WALK HOME! I WANT A RIDE!</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407445338260_2027" class="yiv2747669800MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407445338260_2026">Me: That isn't possible, as I did not bring the car, so we will have to walk.</span></p>
<p class="yiv2747669800MsoPlainText"><span>Darling Daughter repeats her stance.</span></p>
<p class="yiv2747669800MsoPlainText"><span>Me: Well, since I don't have a car, you will need to ask one of these other nice mommies for a ride, because we have to walk home.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407445338260_2030" class="yiv2747669800MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407445338260_2029">With a heaving kindergartner standing in the middle of the sidewalk, I slowly started to make my way up the hill towards our house less than a mile away. She watched me leave her standing there and reluctantly followed with most of her gear in tow. I got halfway up the hill and said, "You must be so embarrassed to throw such a fit in front of all those people." (I do think shaming does have its uses, if doled out sparingly)</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407445338260_2033" class="yiv2747669800MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407445338260_2032">Darling Daughter hiccupped and said, "Yes."</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407445338260_2036" class="yiv2747669800MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407445338260_2035">I just let her stew in that position, then starting asking her about her day with emphasis on what went well. No other action needed to take place. She never did anything like this again.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407445338260_2038" class="yiv2747669800MsoPlainText"><span>Thank you for all your help.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407445338260_2040" class="yiv2747669800MsoPlainText"><span>Jennifer</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22069" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"> </p>
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Staff
2014-08-07T17:58:00Z
Step-Grandchildren
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Step-Grandchildren/472332771801170206.html
2014-08-07T17:57:00Z
2014-08-07T17:57:00Z
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22069" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"> </p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407445338260_2008" class="yiv2747669800MsoPlainText"><span><br />Hi, Dr. Laura,</span> </p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407445338260_2012" class="yiv2747669800MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407445338260_2011">I heard a call from a lady asking about whether or not she had to include her son's wife's three children from a previous relationship along with her two natural grandchildren. </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407445338260_2083" class="yiv2747669800MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407445338260_2082">I sat back and said a prayer of gratitude about my situation. When my husband and I married 20 years ago, I had an 11-year-old son. When my in-laws met my son for the first time, they started calling him "Grandson" and included him in everything. A year later, when my husband and I discovered I was pregnant against huge odds - another story for another time - my in-laws made a special visit just to see my son. They then sat my husband and I down and reminded us that our commitment to "our" son was still a top priority, and not to let our relationship with him get lost with the new baby. When my daughter was born, they made special efforts to spend time with him as well as the new baby.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407445338260_2057" class="yiv2747669800MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407445338260_2056">Over the past 20 years, they have always treated both of my children with love, respect and tenderness. As both of my in-laws were a bit older when my husband and I married, we have now reached the time where my mother-in-law is having problems remembering things; actually, we are slowly losing her to silence as she struggles to remember her life. As painful as this is, I am still watching the love and tenderness on her face every time she sees BOTH of my children. My heart bursts with pride as I listen to them speak to her so gently, listening to her ask the same question 5 times in an hour, tell the same story from years ago 3 or 4 times in an hour, and never once do they sound impatient or irritated. They just listen attentively, answer her repeated questions enthusiastically and hug her more every time they see her.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407445338260_2080" class="yiv2747669800MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407445338260_2079">Maybe your listener with the 3 "step" grandchildren can understand that sometimes you truly do get what you give. Thank you for all you do and for fighting the good fight.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407445338260_2077" class="yiv2747669800MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407445338260_2076">Kim</span></p>
<br />
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Staff
2014-08-07T17:57:00Z
The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands - Enough is Enough
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Proper-Care--Feeding-of-Husbands---Enough-is-Enough/-343268594170942174.html
2014-08-06T17:58:00Z
2014-08-06T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1263273331msoplaintext"><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22088" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22087">I went to the Barnes & Noble website to buy "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands". I was annoyed at the negative reviews. While you may not be bothered by such anymore, I could not let one attack go and reported it as contrary to the review guidelines. I then posted my own. I just had had enough of inaccurate info being passed on and on.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22086" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22085">My review was:</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22083" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22082">"It is interesting that many of the negative reviews this book has generated are based on personal bias against the author, inaccurate gossip or misunderstandings of the concepts. Any review that contains personal attacks on any author should be viewed with skepticism. To clarify some misrepresentations, Dr. Laura has never been a gym teacher. Her doctorate is in physiology, which is defined as the scientific study of function in living systems; a sub-discipline of biology. Its focus is in how organisms, organ systems, organs, cells, and bio-molecules carry out the chemical or physical functions that exist in a living system. Her post-doctoral certification is in Marriage, Family, and Child Counseling from the University of Southern California. She was also on the faculty of the Graduate Psychology Department at Pepperdine University.</span></p>
<p class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"><span>The book does not advocate that women take abuse. In fact, the first page of the book clearly states that if a man is addicted, an adulterer or abusive the advice in the book is not applicable.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22097" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22096">This book is intended to remind women of the power they hold in the marital relationship. Too many women believe the wedding is the goal and they stop doing all the girlfriend behaviors that won her the man. They look at their relationship as a sibling rivalry and not a partnership. If a man wants something, he's being controlling. If a woman wants something then a man has to be attentive to her needs, which men should never have for their own. Husbands become sidelined as peripheral appendages and something to be tolerated. A woman should not view giving a man his preference about something as her having lost something or that he has won something, and thus depriving her. Too often women want to prove to a man that they will not be controlled by him, which they do by proving how they don't need him. A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle! If you keep showing and telling a man that you don't need him, don't be surprised when he finds someone who does need him. The intent of this book is to get women to treat their men as they did when they looked at him with respect, admiration and love. The overall concept is to encourage women to treat men kindly, which is now seen by some as derogatory. The book does not support a woman being subservient to a man or being his doormat, but seeks to remind a woman how to use her feminine charms, which she employed in her girlfriend days with desired results. The point of the book is the proviso, choose wisely and treat kindly. For further reading, try O. Henry's the Gift of the Magi."</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22100" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"><span>Linda</span></p>
<p class="yiv6731503119msoplaintext"> </p>
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Staff
2014-08-06T17:58:00Z
Relationships with Mothers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Relationships-with-Mothers/720028084313102976.html
2014-08-06T17:57:00Z
2014-08-06T17:57:00Z
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22069" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"><br />Dr. Laura,</p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22075" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22074">Two years ago, I gave my daughter-in-law an XM radio for Christmas with the express intent of suggesting she begin listening to you. Recently, you received a call from her. (I caught the end of the call.) There are just some things a mother-in-law should not advise her daughter-in-law on, to the degree she needed help with her situation with her mother. I just subscribed to Dr. Laura Family Premium so I could listen to the entire call. It was similar to many I have heard on your show over the years -- having difficulty with one's mother. I endured and survived a similar situation, same story different script. It is why I wanted her to start listening to you. And lo and behold.......there she was.</span></p>
<p class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"><span>She called me so excited to tell me all about it. More than you know, I appreciate you giving her that validation on the advice I have so gingerly tried to give. With her wedding ruined and her incredibly difficult recent birth of my twin granddaughters trip home from the hospital also ruined by her mother, I pray that your words make them the last joyful moments in her life that turn out so painful for her.</span></p>
<p class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"><span>And one last thing. This sweet daughter-in-law recently paid me maybe the highest compliment I have ever received, and it was during one of our talks about her painful relationship with her mother. She commented that she and her sister lived thousands of miles away from their mother by design. But that our two sons and their new families live close by. They love and enjoy spending time with their parents. She said it with a longing in her voice, but also I sensed she had reached the point that she was ready to accept she needed to move on from her mother.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22364" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22363">Again thank you Dr Laura, I appreciate what you do.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22361" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"><span>Beth</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22357" class="yiv1219515683MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407340521278_22358">P.S. I am excited for you that you are soon to be a mother-in-law. And my, my, my, grandchildren are heaven!</span></p>
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Staff
2014-08-06T17:57:00Z
Completing the Job as Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Completing-the-Job-as-Mother/351189889481685300.html
2014-08-05T17:58:00Z
2014-08-05T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1263273331msoplaintext"> </p>
<br />
<p class="yiv6731503119msoplaintext">Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv6731503119msoplaintext">I am writing about a mother who called you a few weeks ago about her 21-year-old daughter who was in the process of divorce, I believe married to a man in the military and was needing to move back home. The mother wasn't sure if she should let her daughter move home. The very end of the call told the story for me.</p>
<p class="yiv6731503119msoplaintext">I am a divorced mother who has raised 4 sons and one daughter alone so I am a seasoned mother. I worked and provided for all 5, but never had day care. Where there is a will, there is a way. You told the caller the daughter should get a place of her own and not rely on the mother as the daughter had made the decision to marry at 19. The mother then said the daughter didn't have a car or license to drive. You suggested the daughter take the bus, ride a bike, walk, all good. But then I got thinking. Why in the world would a 19-year-old girl leave to marry, and not know how to drive? She left to be taken care of. She was still a child. The mother did NOT do her job.</p>
<p class="yiv6731503119msoplaintext">When each of my kids turned 14, I took them to the DMV. They got a permit and I put them in the driver's seat for the ride home. From then on, each one of them drove everywhere with me next to them. They have no dad and so I taught them. The reason her daughter is messed up is the mother's fault. That mom should have given that daughter the most basic of tools at the very least. The daughter didn't even have a license. I was steaming! Are you kidding me? It makes me so mad parents dismiss their kids, don't have time for them, don't train them and prepare them to be adults and then they wonder what is wrong with them. Or think they are being brats. Some are, but I blame this mother. My children learned how to drive with me next to them so they would be safe and responsible adult drivers. They all had jobs as minors, they all were TAUGHT to be hard-working responsible children. I had NO help so I can tell you there are NO excuses. If I did it, so can anyone.</p>
<p class="yiv6731503119msoplaintext">I was married for many years and broke a cycle of abuse. I worked crappy jobs, went without sleep, but never did I take it out on my kids. They went with me to work or they were sleeping. They had a happy home and have been taught and prepared to be adults. This young girl of 21 obviously was not given the training to be independent. I think her mother should have to take her back in, train her more, complete her job as a mother and this time do it right. And then her daughter will be able to be on her own. By the way, I have taken in 19 kids - for free. My kids brought them home because they were in the way of mom's new boyfriend or dad's new girlfriend. I love my kids!</p>
<p class="yiv6731503119msoplaintext">Diana</p>
<p> </p>
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Staff
2014-08-05T17:58:00Z
Raising a Gentleman
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-a-Gentleman/9997489040582353.html
2014-08-05T17:57:00Z
2014-08-05T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv1263273331msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv6731503119msoplaintext">My husband and I have been married for 15 years and are raising our 10-year-old son. My husband has always been a gentleman and we are teaching our boy to do the little things that matter.</p>
<p class="yiv6731503119msoplaintext">Earlier this summer, I was dropping my son off at an art class. There is a set of double doors to enter the building and he opened one of the big heavy doors for me. I walked through saying "Thank you, Sweetie." The woman behind us tried to take the door from him telling him how heavy it was, but he declined her offer. I told her he was fine; he was doing what he should do. Her daughter ran through the door and opened the second door. The woman laughed and said "she won't be out-done." My son tried to take the door from the little girl, but she stood behind it. I nodded to my son and we both walked through. I looked at the mother and said "I am trying to raise a gentleman." She looked at me as if I had three heads.</p>
<p class="yiv6731503119msoplaintext">A few days later, my son held the door for this same woman and she said a simple thank you. It can be an up-hill battle with women like that who are raising girls, but we continue to do our best to instill this gentlemanly attitude in our son.</p>
<p class="yiv6731503119msoplaintext">Thank you for your wise advice.</p>
<p class="yiv6731503119msoplaintext">Lisa</p>
<p class="yiv6731503119msoplaintext"> </p>
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Staff
2014-08-05T17:57:00Z
Repeated Rejections
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Repeated-Rejections/888410185152992683.html
2014-08-04T17:58:00Z
2014-08-04T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1263273331msoplaintext"><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407181746037_8850" class="yiv6343440332MsoPlainText">I was listening to your podcast and you brought up a virile posting from a married woman about how hateful and immature her husband was for keeping track of his repeated rejections for sex over a two week span. You have often spoken about how wives don't seem to realize that men judge by action, not words. A wife may say "I love you" repeatedly, but when she also declines to have sex repeatedly what does that say? How would a woman feel if she asked her boyfriend to go out with her on a date every day over two weeks, and every day she was rejected? Would she start to ask herself, "What is wrong with me?" Her girlfriends would tell her to dump the boyfriend and find someone else. How much worse for a husband to be repeatedly rejected in the primary activity that reinforces his connection and perception of worth in the eyes of his wife. I am where that man is in spades. </p>
<p class="yiv6343440332MsoPlainText"><span>My wife and I are in our 50's. Unfortunately, she is experiencing some medical problems, and has extreme arthritis in her feet that causes pain in her feet and cramping in her legs. Our sex life has dwindled over time from twice a week to once a week, once every two weeks and now maybe once every two months. I don't ask any more. The pain from being turned down every time became too great. I also came to the conclusion that if I asked every day somehow my wife started to believe we did it more often than we did. Now we have a code. On nights when I believe she is not in pain I might shut our bedroom door at our bedtime and wait in bed for her. I can't describe how I feel when she opens the door and says "You'll have to have a romantic night some other time because my feet are really hurting tonight." No romance means no sex, no cuddling, no holding of any kind because it is uncomfortable for her. She will lay down, turn off her bedside light and tell me "I love you." I don't feel that love. I feel my love has been rejected. Reasoning tells me yes love. Feelings tell me no love.</span></p>
<p class="yiv6343440332MsoPlainText"><span>That man should run, not walk, from that marriage. I probably should run from mine, but I do know she loves me to the degree she is able. I am probable damaged goods in that I stay, but for me, the pain I would cause her by leaving would hurt me more than the pain I feel on those nights I am rejected. I can't say that it hasn't negatively impacted my love for her, and I wouldn't marry her again, if I knew then what I know now.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407181746037_8853" class="yiv6343440332MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407181746037_8855">Rob</span></p>
<p class="yiv5690137529msonormal"> </p>
Staff
2014-08-04T17:58:00Z
A Lesson in Personal Responsibility
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Lesson-in-Personal-Responsibility/-190213303132480024.html
2014-08-04T17:57:00Z
2014-08-04T17:57:00Z
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407181746037_8810" class="yiv6343440332MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407181746037_8815"><br />I've listened to your show off and on for many years. When I read this article in my local paper I knew it was a lesson in personal responsibility that needed to be shared. This is about the Governor of Maine and his childhood. I hope you can use it. I also had a hell of a childhood and am now happy and successful. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Have a wonderful day -- John</span> </p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407181746037_8820" class="yiv6343440332MsoPlainText"><strong id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407181746037_8819"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407181746037_8818">The early years: Paul LePage</span></strong></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407181746037_8822" class="yiv6343440332MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407181746037_8821">Tough love, hard work and luck saved the boy who would become governor after he fled a family mired in poverty and scarred by abuse.</span> </p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407181746037_8826" class="yiv6343440332MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407181746037_8825">Paul LePage’s first memory is of his house nearly burning down.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407181746037_8827" class="yiv6343440332MsoPlainText">Of his father, LePage’s earliest recollection is the man kicking him on the ground.</p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407181746037_8832" class="yiv6343440332MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407181746037_8831">And of his siblings, he recalls tripping over the body of a brother who died one night in their Lewiston tenement.</span> </p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407181746037_8835" class="yiv6343440332MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407181746037_8834">Although LePage is reluctant to revisit the violence and tragedy that defined his upbringing, more so than any other period in his life, the 19 years between his birth and when he entered college stand as some of the most influential in shaping how Maine’s governor understands the world. In his attitudes and worldview, no other period has drawn deeper demarcations of right and wrong, tough love and self-discipline.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407181746037_8837" class="yiv6343440332MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1407181746037_8844">Read the entire <strong><a href="http://www.centralmaine.com/2014/07/20/the-early-years-paul-lepage/" target="_blank">here</a></strong>. </span></p>
<p class="yiv1263273331msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-08-04T17:57:00Z
Ripping Up Her Mother Card
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ripping-Up-Her-Mother-Card/777728462755150789.html
2014-08-01T17:58:00Z
2014-08-01T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1263273331msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv5690137529msonormal"><span>Hello Dr. Laura,</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406918236556_2039" class="yiv5690137529msonormal"><span>A few weeks ago my "someday daughter-in-law" called me upset about her mother.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406918236556_1919" class="yiv5690137529msonormal"><span>I have known this lovely young lady for over 2 years now, and have heard many stories about her mom. The "mom" has 4 kids from 3 maybe 4 different dads, married twice, shacked up now, and put her youngest up for adoption because then husband didn't believe he was the father. Her current shack up abused my "someday daughter-in-law" emotionally and mentally, and also her brother physically. The list goes on and on. This woman has been a horrible mother and woman. My "someday daughter-in-law" has said being around our family has shown her what a real family, mother and father are supposed to be.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406918236556_2008" class="yiv5690137529msonormal"><span>The reason for her call was that her grandfather had passed away and she was going to be traveling to Mississippi for the funeral. She had receive calls from her mom and decided these calls were the icing on her cake and for no longer feeling guilty for not wanting her mom in her life any longer. I channeled you, and asked her if her mom was just a friend, would she keep that person in her life when she treated her badly. She said no. I said just because she was her "mom" was not a reason to keep putting herself through anxiety. She shouldn't feel guilty because she hadn't done anything wrong, and her "mom" had been the one doing wrong for 23 years. She felt better and was happy for me to listen and talk her through the situation.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406918236556_2010" class="yiv5690137529msonormal"><span>I just wanted to thank you for all the great advise you give and all the calls you let us listen in on, so we can learn something for ourselves or to pass on to others. I appreciate you. And will continue to listen to your advice as my son will be asking her to marry him and I want to be a great mother-in-law.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406918236556_2012" class="yiv5690137529msonormal"><span>Thank you,</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406918236556_2014" class="yiv5690137529msonormal"><span>Nina</span></p>
<p class="yiv1263273331msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-08-01T17:58:00Z
Saying No at Any Whim
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Saying-No-at-Any-Whim/-563789753439165783.html
2014-08-01T17:57:00Z
2014-08-01T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv1263273331msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv5690137529msonormal"><span>Hi Dr. Laura,</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406918236556_2050" class="yiv5690137529msonormal">I found <a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/robynwilder/a-man-emailed-his-wife-a-spreadsheet-that-logged-all-the-the" target="_blank">this article</a> on a man who sent his wife a letter that detailed via a spreadsheet all the times she refused to have sex with him. To the wife's surprise she couldn't believe the detail records her husband had kept.</p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406918236556_2049" class="yiv5690137529msonormal"><span>The thing that caught my eye about the whole issue wasn't the fact the wife refused to fulfill her duty as a wife, or the fact the husband had kept track, but the wife felt the husband was being "bitter, immature and filled with hate"? Excuse me? What is wrong with married women? Why do they think they can just say no at any whim? Intimacy is crucial in the well-being of marital bliss. Husbands needs more touching, hand holding, cuddling and naked physical contact with their wives. They are NOT complicated creatures. Talk to them, feed them, touch them and love them. Don't cheat on them. Be loyal and they will give you the world. Simple as that. A little lovin' goes a long way!</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406918236556_2052" class="yiv5690137529msonormal"><span>Been married to my boyfriend for 25 years, we've been together for 28!</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406918236556_1918" class="yiv5690137529msonormal"><span>Karen</span></p>
<p class="yiv5690137529msonormal"> </p>
Staff
2014-08-01T17:57:00Z
The Key to the Mother/Daughter-in-Law Relationship
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Key-to-the-Mother/Daughter-in-Law-Relationship/-749022222919777255.html
2014-07-31T17:58:00Z
2014-07-31T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1263273331msoplaintext"><br />Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv1263273331msoplaintext">I would like to offer my perspective on mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law. I believe the mother-in-law, being older, needs to be able to set a positive tone for the relationship, right from the start. As you have said on the air, the mother-in-law has had many more years of experience on the planet. </p>
<p class="yiv1263273331msoplaintext">If the parents-in-law allow the young couple to have the space and autonomy they need to carve out their life together, that couple will be most appreciative. The couple will be inclined, then, to want to spend time with their parents and in-laws. If the young couple feels they are able to set the terms of family engagement and not encounter resentment from parents or in-laws for doing so, the relationship will blossom beautifully. It is their turn now to live out their marriage and create their family life.</p>
<p class="yiv1263273331msoplaintext">A mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship requires particular sensitivity and respect. And again, I feel it is up to the mother-in-law to "lead" in this regard and to model mature, loving, respectful behavior for her daughter-in-law. This relationship has such potential for being a strong one! I hope to get a chance to be this mother-in-law to the spouses of my adult children. And Dr. Laura, I think you will be a fabulous mother-in-law, by the way. You are always honest and kind, and with those two qualities, everything will be well. You have a great sense of humor, which is so important for healthy relationships. You and your daughter-in-law are going to have fun together...and after all, that is the key, isn't it? - Fun. On a more sobering note....I would say "woe be to the mother-in-law" who intends to drive a wedge between her son and her daughter-in-law. This is definitely trespassing on sacred turf and is destructive to all. But it's best to focus on the positive and to expect the best. Support, love, trust, autonomy.....ingredients for any healthy relationship.</p>
<p class="yiv1263273331msoplaintext">Sincerely, </p>
<p class="yiv1263273331msoplaintext">Lisa</p>
Staff
2014-07-31T17:58:00Z
Building a Relationship with Your Mother-in-Law
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Building-a-Relationship-with-Your-Mother-in-Law/59799424490956409.html
2014-07-31T17:57:00Z
2014-07-31T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv1263273331msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv1263273331msoplaintext">I first met my husband's dad on our second date... at the shooting range. I must have been teachable and hit my target, literally and figuratively, aiming to be myself. A week later, I had dinner at their house. Mom came running down the outside steps and gave me a big hug to welcome me.</p>
<p class="yiv1263273331msoplaintext">Early in our relationship, his parents thought he would stop doing all those dangerous sports now that he knows me. My honest response was, "Why would I want to change him? I love him like he is." Mom has retold this story to many family friends and anyone else who would listen.</p>
<p class="yiv1263273331msoplaintext">In my opinion, it is easy to build a relationship with your mother-in-law: just love her son and treat him with respect.</p>
<p class="yiv1263273331msoplaintext">We've been married 26 years now. I have learned to camp, hike, backpack, canoe, and cross country ski. I still pass on the dual sport bikes, but don't prevent him from going and doing.</p>
<p class="yiv1263273331msoplaintext">Sally</p>
<p class="yiv1263273331msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-07-31T17:57:00Z
Love After 50 and Second Marriages
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Love-After-50-and-Second-Marriages/623684975635406690.html
2014-07-30T17:50:00Z
2014-07-30T17:50:00Z
<p><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></p>
<p>I believe second marriages are harder because of all the baggage from the past that comes along for the ride, combined with step-children and the fact that both people have had longer to get set in their ways.</p>
<p>I found love after 50 quite unexpectedly. After dating several losers, (the pickings are slim after age 50!), I decided not to spend any more time or energy looking for a man, and prayed if God had someone for me, He would drop him in my lap. Six weeks later, I met my current husband. Neither of us had planned to ever marry again. He turned out to be the love of my life. The year and a half that we dated was the best of my life. We had a rough first two years of marriage, but have since developed a very loving, close relationship. I attribute this mainly to two things: 1) When my husband became aware of how his behavior was negatively impacting our marriage, he CHANGED. That action alone was amazing to me, but that he did it FOR me and us meant the world to me. 2) I have learned to be sweeter and more respectful of my husband in my TONE of voice. We have each made changes for the benefit of our relationship and by doing so have strengthened our bond. We have complete trust in each other. My love for him is based on admiration and respect for his character which I considered of utmost importance, having NOT had this in my first marriage. Our marriage just gets better and better and we just celebrated our 6th anniversary.</p>
<p>I have learned how to be a better wife by listening to you, Dr. Laura, so thank you for taking the time to educate me.</p>
<p>Linda</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-30T17:50:00Z
My Daughter-in-Law, a Stay-at-Home Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Daughter-in-Law,-a-Stay-at-Home-Mom/-300847139556097449.html
2014-07-30T17:48:00Z
2014-07-30T17:48:00Z
<p><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></p>
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>You are always reading delightful letters from new stay-at-home moms, so as the mother-in-law to a wonderful stay-at-home mom, I would love to add one to the gathering. My daughter-in-law had a very good job in advertising, when my first grandchild was born. She continued to work and we all chipped in - you really had to twist my arm to take care of this wonderful baby girl. Ha! We had so much fun!</p>
<p>When the second little girl was born, my daughter-in-law stopped working. I gave her your book, "In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms" to celebrate. She is the best mom; they do so many things together and I am such a proud grandmother. A big change for the better for me. I remember two days a week having to drop their father off at the babysitter, and then crying all the way to work.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura for all you do. You make the world a better place.</p>
<p>Sheila</p>
Staff
2014-07-30T17:48:00Z
Old? What's That?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Old-Whats-That/538777145604976510.html
2014-07-29T17:58:00Z
2014-07-29T17:58:00Z
<p><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></p>
<p class="yiv0384180479msoplaintext">Hi Dr. Laura.</p>
<p class="yiv0384180479msoplaintext">Just returned from a trip to Iceland where I rode Icelandic horses for three days in the driving rain and howling wind. I suggested a caving experience to my 3 travel mates and we explored a "lava tube" which we had to belly crawl through in sections and crab walk through in others.</p>
<p class="yiv0384180479msoplaintext">I am home now and catching up on podcasts. Heard the 58-year-old woman who was ashamed to state her age. I had my kids in my late 30s, raised 'em, launched 'em, cried a bit and then rediscovered my passion for horses. I bought one and live a GREAT life.</p>
<p class="yiv0384180479msoplaintext">I am 61. My travel mates to Iceland were 31, 31 and 34. I had no more difficulty than they and cannot understand this BS about not giving your age. My patients with terminal cancer would LOVE to say they are 58 or 40, or 60. Or any other age at all! <em>I have learned from these patients that every day on this side of the turf without huge suffering is a great one, filled with possibilities.</em> Please people...life is such a gift! Celebrate each passing year and announce it proudly. You have earned each of those years and the right to celebrate!!</p>
<p class="yiv0384180479msoplaintext">Keep setting the peeps straight on this, Dr Laura. You aren't old until you act old!</p>
<p class="yiv0384180479msoplaintext">Doris</p>
<p class="yiv0384180479msoplaintext"> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-29T17:58:00Z
Falling for the Bad Boy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Falling-for-the-Bad-Boy/370655395473908282.html
2014-07-29T17:57:00Z
2014-07-29T17:57:00Z
<p><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></p>
<p class="yiv0384180479msoplaintext">Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv0384180479msoplaintext">I have had a bad habit of falling for bad boys throughout my life. I have finally gotten over that and am married to a 'nice guy'. I married TWO bad boys and it took a huge toll on me emotionally and physically: abuse, betrayal and all the other nasty that come with dating bad boys. I dated the bad boys because I felt they were a challenge and exciting. I had the same old clichés: I could 'win them over' and they would change for me. It was also because I had low self-esteem. I felt in some way I deserved to be mistreated. I remember reading in "10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives" to "Get rid of him if"...</p>
<p class="yiv0384180479msoplaintext">Once I got over the need to prove I could tame the bad boy (which you can't), I realized this need to be the one who would help them change came at a huge price to me. If anything, being with these men erodes your self-esteem further; you get used to being treated badly and if you're not careful you can really lose yourself. I honestly do not know one single girl who has EVER been really happy or at peace with a bad boy. They may be fun for a while, but they are not people you need or want in your life. Healthy women do not want or need to be mistreated nor do they need to fill a void in their lives. I make my own excitement now and I'm a lot happier! Every time I see a bad boy, I just think "No thanks - stay away." They no longer hold any appeal.</p>
<p class="yiv0384180479msoplaintext">Thanks for all you do for people and women like me Dr. Laura.</p>
<p class="yiv0384180479msoplaintext">Love,</p>
<p class="yiv0384180479msoplaintext">Lisa</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-29T17:57:00Z
Parents and Their Children's Education
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parents-and-Their-Childrens-Education/-831528289489102083.html
2014-07-28T17:58:00Z
2014-07-28T17:58:00Z
<p><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have been a teacher for 31 years and have seen massive changes in parents during that time. I got started teaching back in 1982 in what I today term as the "end of the golden years of teaching." Back in the beginning, I had wonderful backup from the parents. I remember one day when a father came to see me. His son had been causing some problems. Because I was still a new teacher then, I honestly thought I should handle the situation on my own. This was back in 1986 or 1987. Because the father caught wind of the problem somehow, he stopped by after school to talk. I don't remember the problem, but I do remember learning a valuable lesson. The dad said, "How can I help you if I don't know there's a problem?" That was the attitude back in the eighties.</p>
<p>Today the situation is different. We have parents who honestly believe their children NEVER lie! If I had a dollar for every time I heard a parent say that to me, I could retire early! The parents are on ME if I call about their child, or discipline them in some fashion. There is to be no discipline and no consequences for poor choices. For example, one day this past year, I timed out one of my fifth graders because he was crawling around on the floor of the classroom. He had taken pins out of my bulletin boards and was sticking them into the carpet. I told the boy that because he was being annoying, he was going to be put in a time out in another classroom so I could have a break. This student's mother demanded her son be given a different teacher the next day! In my day, my mother would have grabbed me by the ponytail and forced me into the classroom to apologize to the teacher if I had EVER caused a teacher to not be able to teach.</p>
<p>Kids today quickly learn that they can do anything to disrupt the day's lessons and are often backed up 100% by Mom and/or Dad, who want to be their child's friend, not their parent. In today's world what is really right is now wrong, and what is really wrong is now right. We also live in a world where the students have all the rights. Principals and school districts fear expensive lawsuits, so we are finding less and less backing from these important people in our profession. Who in the world decided that 5-18 year olds should run the schools? Common sense is out. Poor behavior and disrespect is to be tolerated. And we better have top test scores in this kind of environment!</p>
<p>Dr. Laura, I will likely retire in five years. My question is who will ever want to replace me and all of the other baby boomers who will be leaving classrooms in the next decade? My own children, after seeing the stress I have had to deal with over the years, have no desire to enter this profession. Life is tough in today's classrooms.</p>
<p>Kimber </p>
<p> </p>
<p class="yiv8505587859msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv0328694503msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-07-28T17:58:00Z
The Kids are Listening
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Kids-are-Listening/-806881501820847305.html
2014-07-28T17:57:00Z
2014-07-28T17:57:00Z
<p><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>You have changed my daughters' lives completely, first by waking me up to the fact that I needed to quit my 40+ hours a week job and stay home with them when they were still babies. Then by nagging, preaching and teaching them over the radio for the past 16 years.</p>
<p>This past weekend, my 16 and 18-year-old daughters got to spend some time with a cousin and her new husband of two years. When they got back home, they couldn't wait to tell me how their cousin's husband would "definitely swim through shark infested waters to bring her a lemonade!" Then they went on to say how they wanted to be married to a man like that so there would be no "shack ups" for them. I just smiled and said to myself, "Thank you Mother Laura, now I can send my oldest off to college this fall, knowing the lessons have been learned!</p>
<p>Crystal</p>
<p class="yiv8505587859msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv0328694503msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-07-28T17:57:00Z
Not Having Sex While Dating
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Not-Having-Sex-While-Dating/-996050983719058822.html
2014-07-25T17:58:00Z
2014-07-25T17:58:00Z
<p><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></p>
<p class="yiv8505587859msoplaintext">I do believe delaying sex leads to a better relationship. My husband and I dated without having sex for religious reasons. We dated for a year and even though we DESPERATELY wanted to be together, our beliefs kept us apart. I believe waiting gave us the chance to really get to know each other and we both knew we were in the relationship because we enjoyed each other and not for the sex, since there was none. Exercising self-control is also VERY important, even though most people don't even know what those words mean!!</p>
<p class="yiv8505587859msoplaintext">I was a virgin when we were finally married and I love the fact I had NO baggage from any dating relationships I had. I believe I can be a terrific wife and lover because of that. Not having sex while dating DOES get you dumped over and over again, but it shows you who really is in the relationship FOR YOU and not for the FREE SEX!!</p>
<p class="yiv8505587859msoplaintext">Grace</p>
<p class="yiv0328694503msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-07-25T17:58:00Z
Dating After Divorce
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dating-After-Divorce/-379364294324983732.html
2014-07-25T17:57:00Z
2014-07-25T17:57:00Z
<p><br />Here is the best advice I ever received when divorcing 12 years ago, when my two boys were 1 and 3 years old: Don't date, they are already down one parent. The revolving door of significant others just exacerbates their sense of loss in relationships, which will affect how they choose their potential mates in the future. Then I looked at my soon to be ex-stepdaughter, age 10, and realized that she had had 6+ adults in her life between her parents' love lives. I don't date. My boys' are not at risk for abuse of any kind and they have no drama. My boys are now 13 and 16 and have a solid home life. They have male mentors through the Partners Program. They may not know a typical family unit with two parents, but they know stability and consistency. My love life will begin in 5 years when my youngest goes to college! Until then, I go out with my friends every now and then and bother my teenagers knowing where they are and who they are hanging with. Life is good. May they choose better than I did, as they see the repercussions of not choosing wisely.</p>
<p class="yiv8505587859msoplaintext">Laura</p>
<p class="yiv8505587859msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv0328694503msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-07-25T17:57:00Z
Tantrums
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Tantrums/-972666414870764554.html
2014-07-24T17:58:00Z
2014-07-24T17:58:00Z
<p><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></p>
<p class="yiv0328694503msoplaintext">When she was about 3 years old, my daughter had her first tantrum. I don't even remember why, but she was on her back in the middle of the kitchen floor kicking her feet and screaming. Having seen other parents handle tantrums by acting as crazy as their kids and just making the incident worse, I decided on a different approach. I calmly picked her up and deposited her on her bedroom floor. Before closing the door I told her she could leave her room only when she was finished having her tantrum. It didn't take long for her to emerge from her room with a much better attitude.</p>
<p class="yiv0328694503msoplaintext">About a week later she tried it again, and I repeated what I did. Seeing that I meant business and would not give in to her drama, she never had another tantrum.</p>
<p class="yiv0328694503msoplaintext">Cecile</p>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-07-24T17:58:00Z
Dos and Don'ts When Visiting Daughter-in-Law
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dos-and-Donts-When-Visiting-Daughter-in-Law/-996547805276310225.html
2014-07-24T17:57:00Z
2014-07-24T17:57:00Z
<p><br />When my son married his wonderful wife seven years ago, I told him from that day on he should put his wife first. His father and I raised him to be a good man and a loving husband and father, and I told him that every day he should wake up and ask himself what he could do to make her day great.</p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406222893979_5786" class="yiv0328694503MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406222893979_5785">These are the things I do and don't do when visiting my daughter-in-law and son:</span></p>
<ol>
<li>Don't complain.</li>
<li>Don't criticize.</li>
<li>Always do the dishes after meals.</li>
<li>Help in any way I can to reduce her workload.</li>
<li>Don't intrude on their special times.</li>
<li>Don't offer advice unless asked and then be very careful not to offend.</li>
<li>Include her in all emails sent to my son.</li>
<li>Recognize her good qualities and let her know.</li>
<li>Tell my son how lucky he is to have her as his wife.</li>
<li>Realize that it's not about me - it's about them.</li>
<li>Recognize that she has a family whom she loves very much.</li>
<li>Don't intrude or be jealous of their special time.</li>
<li>Don't be selfish when it comes to sharing holidays and vacations.</li>
<li>Realize that the best thing I can for my son is to treat my daughter-in-law as I would have liked my husband's mother to have treated me.</li>
</ol>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406222893979_5832" class="yiv0328694503MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406222893979_5831">I don't claim to be perfect, but I try my best to adhere to these guidelines. My daughter-in-law is a precious gift to our son and to our entire family, and we are grateful to have her in our lives.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1406222893979_5834" class="yiv0328694503MsoPlainText"><span>Jane</span></p>
<p class="yiv0328694503msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-07-24T17:57:00Z
Parental Involvement in Education
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parental-Involvement-in-Education/-94380064473890166.html
2014-07-23T17:58:00Z
2014-07-23T17:58:00Z
<p><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></p>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext">Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext">I'm a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom to a 7-year-old boy, 5-year-old girl, and a crazy 2-year-old boy. Thanks for all of your encouragement over the years!</p>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext">I just wanted to share my thoughts about the level of parental involvement in education today. I think there are two extremes right now: parents who are over involved and parents who are not involved at all, with a few average parents in between. I'd like to comment about the over-involved folks. It seems to me the trend is to get your kid diagnosed with some disorder, (there seems to be hundreds now), and then demand every possible accommodation for your child. I've seen this with friends and family, and I feel so bad for the teachers and the children.</p>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext">I used to work in a psychology clinic and we would frequently have parents come in to have their children tested for disorders. When the results came back and the psychologist told them that their kid was fine, they would come back and want the child tested for something else they had read or heard about. This would go on until some diagnosis was made.</p>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext">Of course there are some parents who don't have children with "issues" that still demand special treatment. I'd like to share one example: My brother is a janitor at a middle school and they don't pay him enough! One day the mother of a student called, asked to speak to him, and then began to yell at him. Her son had lost his binder and he told his mom the janitor took it and threw it away. Of course this was not true and my brother tried to explain that to this woman, but to no avail. He eventually hung up on her. She then stormed the main office and yelled at not only my brother, but the principal as well. This woman really could not believe her child could have lost his binder; it had to be someone else's fault! Of course the boy eventually found his binder, and of course there was no apology from the mother.</p>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext">What will happen when these kids, who have never faced failure when they become adults and possibly go to college? Will their parents show up and yell at the professors?</p>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext">Keep up the good fight Dr. Laura! I wish more people would listen to your show!</p>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext">Candiss</p>
<p><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></p>
Staff
2014-07-23T17:58:00Z
Cinderella
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cinderella/183968992429708183.html
2014-07-23T17:57:00Z
2014-07-23T17:57:00Z
<p> </p>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext">Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext">I took my 5-year-old daughter to see her first play, "Cinderella". She has never seen the movie version so on the way to the theatre, I outlined it for her. I told her at the end of the story Cinderella and the prince marry. In the stage version we saw, the story ends without the audience witnessing the wedding. It was just assumed because most people are familiar with the story.</p>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext">Later that evening, my husband who had stayed home with our 3-year-old son was talking to her about the play. I was in an adjacent room listening to them chat. He asked her to "high and low" the play for him. She said her "high" was the ball scene. Her "low" was she didn't get to see Cinderella marry the prince. My husband told her she didn't get see the wedding because Cinderella and the prince had just met and they needed to date at least two years before getting married. She accepted that as a reasonable answer and I quietly smiled to myself.</p>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext">I hope you are smiling too, Dr. Laura.</p>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext">A very thankful wife and mommy,</p>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext">Heidi</p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></p>
Staff
2014-07-23T17:57:00Z
Financial Responsibilities as a Teen Can Make or Break You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Financial-Responsibilities-as-a-Teen-Can-Make-or-Break-You/88462767428626762.html
2014-07-22T17:58:00Z
2014-07-22T17:58:00Z
<p><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br />Dr. Laura,</span><span style="font-size: 12px;"> </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1405714849876_23583" class="yiv7925894278MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1405714849876_23582">As a teen, I was responsible for plenty of my own costs. My parents had very little and if I wanted more or even needed more I had to earn my own money to get it. I was the oldest and being raised by my stepfather and bio-mom with 4 other siblings. After high school, my parents were financially in a very good place. My younger siblings did not have to work at a young age like I did. I saw all they wanted being handed to them. Don't get me wrong, once my parents were financially set they helped me when I desperately needed it and I ALWAYS paid it back.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1405714849876_23593" class="yiv7925894278MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1405714849876_23592">When their first grandchild came, there was a major "spoil alert." My parents went overboard, because they could. As her parent, it was a nightmare. To this day, they bail her out of EVERYTHING: parking tickets, bills, purchasing vehicles and the list goes on. Our daughter thinks we are the worst parents ever because we don't give her what she wants. My husband and I don't have much in the way of money and that really bothers her. Just this past year, she said she was embarrassed to have us as her parents. We aren't' the type to keep up with the Jones'. When she was 15, her brothers were born. I started listening to you and became a stay-at-home mom. I can assure you of this; we have never been too broke to give her what she needs. My children's wants are on the bottom of our family's priority list. I hope she realizes it's what she needs that is more important and I was NEVER too broke to give her that. Hopefully she'll come to this realization sooner than later especially before she becomes a parent. My parents interfered in the worst way and I should have kept her away from them as I have her brothers.</span></p>
<p class="yiv7925894278MsoPlainText"><span>To tell you the truth, it wasn't until I let go of my parents that I was able to fully mature, become independent and be the best parent for my other children. Just as many other challenges in my life...it was YOU, Dr. Laura, who helped me get through it.</span></p>
<p class="yiv7925894278MsoPlainText"><span>Thank you,</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1405714849876_23596" class="yiv7925894278MsoPlainText"><span>Angela</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1405714849876_23594" class="yiv7925894278MsoPlainText"><span> </span></p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-22T17:58:00Z
3 Questions to Ask Working Women
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/3-Questions-to-Ask-Working-Women/541578523587448877.html
2014-07-22T17:57:00Z
2014-07-22T17:57:00Z
<p><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></p>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext">Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext">I wanted to share the three questions all women should answer when they say they <strong>must</strong> work.</p>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-size: 12px;">Do you own a Smartphone?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 12px;">Does your family own two cars?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 12px;">Do you have cable?</span></li>
</ol>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext">My generation insists on a standard of living which is unprecedented and unnecessary. Yes, there are those who will answer "No" to the questions. They are doing their best to keep food on the table. Most, I believe, will answer "Yes" to all or some of the questions. Their children don't need these luxuries. They need their mothers.</p>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext">May</p>
<p><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1405714849876_23594" class="yiv7925894278MsoPlainText"><span> </span></p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-22T17:57:00Z
Marriage Advice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Marriage-Advice/509614049397950417.html
2014-07-21T17:58:00Z
2014-07-21T17:58:00Z
<p> </p>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext">The best marriage advice I ever heard was from a therapist who I saw one time. I only had to see her once to know what to do. I was 26 and in a dilemma about marrying the man I was engaged to. In my heart, I knew the answer was no. We had been together 2.5 years and he was not the same person I initially fell in love with. He used to like my friends and family, then he stopped wanting to be with them. He stopped being thoughtful, he forgot birthdays and holidays, and he never wanted to have sex.</p>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext">I hung on to the "Dave" I had first been attracted to, knowing he was capable of being that guy: loving, thoughtful, and affectionate. The therapist said, "So you have been together 2.5 years, how long was he 'nice Dave'?" When I thought about it, he was 'nice Dave' for about 6 months! She said, which do you think is his true personality, the one he had for the first 6 months or the past 2 years? WOW!</p>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext">Another great pre-wedding advice I heard once: If you had children together, would you be happy if your child inherited ALL of Dave's personality traits? How he solves problems, how he deals with frustration, how he treats others. NO! There was actually nothing about Dave's personality by then that I would want to pass on to the next generation.</p>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext">Looking back, I think I was in love with the idea of getting married. I gave him back his one carat diamond engagement ring and patiently waited for the right guy. He did not come along until I was 32, and honestly, I thought at first he was "too nice", but I somehow convinced myself that I deserved a nice guy and kept going on dates with him. Twenty years later, we are happily married. He is my best friend, my boyfriend, an amazing dad to our two kids, and I am so blessed to be married to such a wonderful guy. I do by the way, always put in to practice the tips from "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". He really appreciates that you wrote that book. I give PCFH to every bride-to-be at her wedding shower.</p>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext">Thank you for all you do Dr. Laura, I have been a loyal listener for many years.</p>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext">Cindy</p>
<p class="yiv4615148385msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-07-21T17:58:00Z
Husband Turns Down Wife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Husband-Turns-Down-Wife/-116903745222629914.html
2014-07-21T17:57:00Z
2014-07-21T17:57:00Z
<p> </p>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext">Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext">My husband is truly a prince and such an awesome lover that I want to have sex daily, but through our many conversations regarding the topic, I know I have to give him a day or two in between to "rejuvenate", as he calls it. If I convince him to give in to me, he will, but I have learned that the intensity usually isn't there. Sometimes my "stupid" self jumps in and gets hurt feelings, but I work really hard to get control of them. I know he will more than make up for it in a day or two.</p>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext">Thank you for allowing me to share.</p>
<p class="yiv7925894278msoplaintext">Patsy</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-21T17:57:00Z
Wives as Breadwinners
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Wives-as-Breadwinners/431199884761548957.html
2014-07-18T17:58:00Z
2014-07-18T17:58:00Z
<p> </p>
<p class="yiv1229571526msoplaintext">In our home, we have one bank account. Whatever we make goes into that account. Who cares whose paycheck it comes from? The question is, are the contributors to the account happy or resentful in their jobs and at home? I have worked all our married life. During the past 30 years, sometimes I have made more, sometimes my husband has. Most times there have been significant differences in our incomes. The important thing is that money is never a bargaining/leveraging device. We discuss how we want to spend our money and act accordingly.</p>
<p class="yiv1229571526msoplaintext">I work with a man who has a narrow-minded view. He doesn't want his wife to make more money than he does. I told him he has limited his potential if he doesn't change that view. For me, the paycheck has nothing to do with dominance or superiority. It just provides for the family.</p>
<p class="yiv1229571526msoplaintext">Thanks,</p>
<p class="yiv1229571526msoplaintext">June</p>
<p class="yiv4615148385msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-07-18T17:58:00Z
My Oh My, What a Wonderful Day
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Oh-My,-What-a-Wonderful-Day/-847069171154524789.html
2014-07-18T17:57:00Z
2014-07-18T17:57:00Z
<p> </p>
<p class="yiv1229571526msoplaintext">Zippity doo dah, Zippity yah<br />My oh my I listen to Dr. Laura everyday<br />Sometimes I can tell when life is getting you down<br />I wrote this little diddity to turn that frown around </p>
<p class="yiv1229571526msoplaintext">My oh my I listen to Dr. Laura everyday<br />You give really good advice<br />It's definitely well worth the price</p>
<p class="yiv1229571526msoplaintext">My oh my I listen to Dr. Laura everyday<br />Sometimes I can tell you are full of frustration<br />I sure wish I could reach through the radio and give you some medication </p>
<p class="yiv1229571526msoplaintext">My oh my I listen to Dr. Laura everyday<br />A lot of people out there think their lives are tough<br />Realize, some people don't even have phones to call about this stuff </p>
<p class="yiv1229571526msoplaintext">My oh my I listen to Dr. Laura everyday<br />People call you and you do your best and listen<br />Their troubles would probably go away if there was more kiss'n</p>
<p class="yiv1229571526msoplaintext">My oh my I listen to Dr. Laura everyday<br />A lot of people say they listen to your show<br />But if they did they'd already be in the know </p>
<p class="yiv1229571526msoplaintext">My oh my I listen to Dr. Laura everyday<br />I find the majority of people seem to be in opposition<br />So if you're in the majority rethink your position </p>
<p class="yiv1229571526msoplaintext">My oh my I listen to Dr. Laura everyday<br />Dr. Laura when my life is feeling crappy<br />Listening to you makes me happy</p>
<p class="yiv1229571526msoplaintext">My oh my I listen to Dr. Laura everyday<br />Dr. Laura you make my cares and worries slip away </p>
<p class="yiv1229571526msoplaintext">Zippity doo dah, Zippity yah<br />My oh my what a wonderful Dr. Laura day</p>
<p class="yiv1229571526msoplaintext">By Jeff Chenoweth</p>
<p> </p>
<p class="yiv4615148385msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-07-18T17:57:00Z
Day Care Horror Story
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Day-Care-Horror-Story/-834012034214783376.html
2014-07-17T17:58:00Z
2014-07-17T17:58:00Z
<p> </p>
<p class="yiv4615148385msoplaintext">Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv4615148385msoplaintext">I am 29 years old, my future husband's girlfriend and my future kids' mom. I am holding out for the kind of man who you talk about on your show, and especially a man who will make sure I'm a SAHM.</p>
<p class="yiv4615148385msoplaintext">This is a day care horror story I recently saw which makes me sick to my stomach. During the school year I am a school teacher, but during the summer I work for a city recreation department and we offer a free summer parks program for kids in elementary school. We have the kids for 4 hours and we do things like arts and crafts, sports, games, and sometimes field trips to the movies and the pool. Also, every day the kids get free lunch which is provided by the school district.</p>
<p class="yiv4615148385msoplaintext">Three days ago, a big van dropped off 7 kids. The driver was a day care worker who was pawning off the kids in her facility on us. These kids were dropped off with us at 10:00 AM and who knows what time their parents dropped them off at the day care. They were all STARVING as the woman at the day care did not feed them breakfast. One girl even started crying standing in line for lunch because she was so hungry. She told me the woman made breakfast at the day care but ate it herself, and did not give any to the kids. And she is getting over $350/month per kid to watch and feed them. For 4 hours a day, she drops them off with us so she can have a break and still get paid for it. I am looking more into who she is so I can report her.</p>
<p class="yiv4615148385msoplaintext">My mind is blown how a parent can pay this woman so much money only to have her starve their children and not even watch them. If the parents dropped them off with us instead of her it would be FREE FOR THEM! I have not seen her interact with the children as of yet, but the kids have relayed to me that she is very mean to them. I am not sure how I can reach the parents to tell them what is going on, but would they care? If the kids are old enough to tell us what is happening at the day care, they are old enough to also relay that information onto their parents. Why their parents have done nothing is beyond me.</p>
<p class="yiv4615148385msoplaintext">Thank you for opening my eyes to the horror of day care. It is true when you say nobody can replace the love of a mother. I was rather young when I started listening to you and had never even thought about what I would do as a mother. Thankfully you made the decision unbelievably easy. My kids will never step foot into a day care as long as they live. You have changed my life, you have changed my future husband's life and you have changed my future 82 kids' lives.</p>
<p class="yiv4615148385msoplaintext">From the bottom of our hearts we all thank you.</p>
<p class="yiv4615148385msoplaintext">Jerilyn</p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-07-17T17:58:00Z
Putting In the Work
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Putting-In-the-Work/-456152089940544380.html
2014-07-17T17:57:00Z
2014-07-17T17:57:00Z
<p> </p>
<p class="yiv4615148385msoplaintext">I can say our involvement with our child's education was much more than our parents'. As kids, we went to public school and they did not expect much. Even if they did, my parents spoke little English and my wife's parents were dysfunctional. Since our one-and-only son went to a private Christian school, it was almost required. With involvement came many rewards for us and our son. He was class Salutatorian and got half of a ride to college. My wife or I went on every field trip; we helped with homework and projects; we attended all school functions and donated to the school. My wife was Room Mom during the K-6 grade years. All the teachers knew my son and us. I guess the school saw what we did because now I see the school got wise and parents <strong>have</strong> to do this stuff or pay extra. The same people over and over came. Some just dropped off the kid and that was that. To me an involved parent is putting in the work so that they have a child who can succeed and feels loved.</p>
<p class="yiv4615148385msoplaintext">Van</p>
<p class="yiv4615148385msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-07-17T17:57:00Z
Why Silence Is Scary
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Silence-Is-Scary/554477760021965610.html
2014-07-16T17:58:00Z
2014-07-16T17:58:00Z
<p> </p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext">Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext">I believe silence is scary because in those silent moments we hear and understand universal truths. It is during these quiet moments when we have thoughts like I'm not being completely honest about this issue or maybe I should look at this problem from another angle.</p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext">We are created in the image of a powerful being and because of this we have many of His characteristics. With these gifts are the abilities to be better and to become more than we are today. Some call this your conscience, some call this the Spirit or divinity, or the power of the universe. I call it God. He can only communicate with us when things are quiet and we are contemplating.</p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext">Generally these communications are things that help us to become better or to change into the people that we have the ability to be. A great example is on your radio program. Someone will call in with a very specific problem and want to talk and talk and talk. When you give your answer, Dr. Laura, they want to talk right over you. It is frightening for them to hear a solution and hear the truth. Because understanding the truth requires action. People today would rather drowned out truth and knowledge with distractions. Whether it's a video game, TV show, movie, music or just general noise or even shock therapy, they would rather do something that is noisy rather than listening to truth and understanding themselves. All of us know someone who listens to promptings and follows true patterns. Those types of people bring us joy, comfort, concern, and are true friends. They just seem to know when you need something, are willing to help, and give you what you need. They're not magic, they just listen. Our society could use more time in silence to resets the mind and the soul. If we would spend more time in silence even driving to work or right before bed, we would feel an increase of communications and promptings. Then we could act upon them in our lives and the lives of those we influence will improve.</p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext">Thank you for your insight and truth,</p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext">Angela</p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-07-16T17:58:00Z
A Pet's Plea
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Pets-Plea/216992395469942798.html
2014-07-16T17:57:00Z
2014-07-16T17:57:00Z
<p> </p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext">Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext">I heard your phone call with the owner of a sick dog who was going to have to put it down. Here is a poem our vet gave to us when our dog died. It still makes me cry!! - Elisabeth</p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext"><strong>A PET'S PLEA</strong></p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext">Treat me kindly, my beloved friend, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for kindness than my loving heart.</p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext">Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between blows, your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me the things you would have me learn.</p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext">Speak to me often, for your voice is the world's sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footstep falls upon my waiting ear.</p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext">Please take me inside when it's cold and wet, for I am a domesticated animal, no longer accustomed to bitter elements. I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth.</p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext">Keep my dish filled with fresh water, for I cannot tell you when I suffer from thirst.</p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext">Feed me clean food that I may stay well to romp and play, and do your bidding - to walk by your side and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life, should your life be in danger.</p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext">And, my friend, when I am old and no longer able to enjoy good health, hearing and sight, do not make heroic efforts to keep me going. I am not having fun. Please see that my trusting life is taken gently. I shall leave this earth knowing that with the last breath I draw, my fate was always safest in your hands.</p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msonormal"> </p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-07-16T17:57:00Z
Easing the Guilt Over My Aging Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Easing-the-Guilt-Over-My-Aging-Mother/-396513522213072927.html
2014-07-15T17:58:00Z
2014-07-15T17:58:00Z
<p> </p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext">Dear Dr. Laura:</p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext">I have been married 26 years and am the mother of 3 children. I was a stay-at-home mother and the focus of my life is fostering healthy relationships with my husband and children. My immediate family is center of my life and I want to be an important part of my grandchildren's lives.</p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext">I am writing this email to thank you for easing the guilt I have had over my mother's financial situation the past several years. She is a self-centered, unkind person who has truly never done anything kind for me in my entire life. No help with college, no help with my wedding, never formed relationships with my children, rarely visited and when she did, spent time in the casinos instead of with her grandkids. She is also financially irresponsible. My father died suddenly when I was 10 but instead of listening to family and investing and managing her money to take care of her three young children, she chose to blow it all on fun, men, partying, vacations, but not with her kids. She has refused to plan for her future and has lost everything she ever received by blowing it or gambling it away. I could tell you particular things she has done to hurt me and my family, but why bother? Just suffice it to say that whenever I have had a "who has the worse mom?" contest with someone, I win, hands down.</p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext">But the problem was, I felt guilty that I wasn't helping her financially. She ended up losing her river-front condo and lives in a tiny apartment. Her sole income is from social security. I offered to help, but she didn't like the fact that I insisted on controlling her finances. She has a HUGE gambling problem and I was not about to throw money into casinos. At this point in time, due to her verbally abusing my oldest daughter, I am not even speaking to her. I just don't care anymore. I have had to let her go, emotionally and physically. I can no longer tolerate her unkindness or listen to her stupidity. But the guilt was eating me alive. I felt bad for letting her lose her condo, her poor financial state, everything. But then I heard you re-discuss (I have been listening for over two decades) that guilt is the result of doing something wrong. I didn't do anything wrong; therefore, I have nothing to feel guilty about! My mother created her own life and now she is reaping what she has sown. I have redirected my guilt to sadness. I just feel sad for her and her poor life choices. I am thankful every time you help a caller with a similar problem because it reinforces my emotional situation. So thank you for helping me with my emotional trauma. You would think that after 55 years I would know how to "let it go, let go" and now I do!</p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext">My husband's girlfriend,</p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext">LeeAnn</p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1405362746058_6789" class="yiv2429633421MsoPlainText"> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-15T17:58:00Z
Naked Women on Display in Times Square
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Naked-Women-on-Display-in-Times-Square/150416997886565964.html
2014-07-15T17:57:00Z
2014-07-15T17:57:00Z
<p> </p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext">Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext">I am a long-time listener and was delighted to find you on SiriusXM Satellite Radio.</p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext">I went with my two nieces, ages 5 and 7, to see a play last week in New York. As we entered Times Square, we were crossing over to go to the large Toys R Us store. Just across the street was a disgusting sight: Several young females, (I can't say young ladies), unfortunately were clothed in only a scarce thong that really didn't cover much. They were topless and had nothing covering their rear ends, but were allowed to be in the middle of Times Square because they had paint on their bodies. I was horrified at this sight. New York in the 70's and 80's lost most of their tourism because of peep shows and topless bars, etc. Mayor Rudy Giuliani spent a lot of time, effort and money to clean up the Times Square area, and the current administration is spending time letting it get back to the way it was. I will no longer be bringing my family to the city and I hope others will show their outrage at this disgusting display. Think how proud these women's parents must be! UGGHHH. You and I know that these women will regret doing this someday.</p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext">I have three daughters and it makes me ill that this is allowed in our country and what was once a great city.</p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext">Signed,</p>
<p class="yiv7643320154msoplaintext">Kathy<br /><span style="font-size: 12px;">Sick in New Jersey</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1405362746058_6789" class="yiv2429633421MsoPlainText"> </p>
<p class="yiv8106581041msoplaintext"> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-15T17:57:00Z
The Zone of Discomfort
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Zone-of-Discomfort/781523866239773176.html
2014-07-14T17:58:00Z
2014-07-14T17:58:00Z
<p> </p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1405362746058_6789" class="yiv2429633421MsoPlainText">Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Here is a time I stepped out of my comfort zone. I was scared, witless to crawl out of a perfectly comfy mailroom and get on the crazy, busy phones of a call center, and my nerves did indeed get frazzled. But that led to company-paid sales calls with market managers in San Francisco, New Orleans, the tri-state area and the absolute time of my life, Shanghai, China, where I did some training for four months. <br /><br />I don't want to write about me so much as point out something we've lost and, I believe, desperately need to get back as a country. And your daily dose inspired me with the quote: "Great things never came from comfort zones." That should be etched in stone and brought down from Mt. Sinai. Human beings are strange creatures in that they're at their best when times are at their worst. Steven Spielberg will tell you the most miserable time of his life was 1974 while shooting "Jaws". The shark never worked. He had to improvise with barrels and John Williams' eerie music. The result of his zone of supreme discomfort is one of the best movies of all time and my personal favorite. President Kennedy explained why we were going to the moon, "Not because it is easy, but because it is hard!" We're not like that anymore. Staples gives us easy buttons, cars are beginning to drive themselves and our phones do everything, but cut our meat for us. We're too comfortable. We're atrophying. It used to be you didn't have to go looking for a challenge, but technology is too advanced now. Yes! We must intentionally jump out of our comfort zone. Often! There's no greater feeling than achievement, earning something, busting your butt, being out of your league, being scared, criticized, doubted, failing and then, at last, pulling it off. No drug, no app, no easy button can come close to that high. <br /><br />I'm motivated now to get out there and get uncomfortable. It's the right thing to do. <br /><br />John<br /><br /></p>
<p class="yiv8106581041msoplaintext"> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-14T17:58:00Z
Parenting Done Right
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parenting-Done-Right/121622025036007826.html
2014-07-14T17:57:00Z
2014-07-14T17:57:00Z
<p> </p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1405362746058_6770" class="yiv2429633421MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1405362746058_6778">Hi Dr. Laura,</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1405362746058_6773" class="yiv2429633421MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1405362746058_6772">I thought you would like this story. The author is one of our local runners here in Arkansas. She is a stay-at-home mom who is a wickedly fast runner. This story is about her 10-year-old daughter's birthday: <a href="http://www.arkansasrunnermom.com/2014/07/my-most-important-run-of-year.html" target="_blank">My Most Important Run of the Year</a>. </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1405362746058_6775" class="yiv2429633421MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1405362746058_6863">Love,</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1405362746058_6779" class="yiv2429633421MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1405362746058_6874">Lisa</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1405362746058_6780" class="yiv2429633421MsoPlainText"><span> </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1405362746058_6789" class="yiv2429633421MsoPlainText"> </p>
<p class="yiv8106581041msoplaintext"> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-14T17:57:00Z
A HUGE Realization About Life!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-HUGE-Realization-About-Life!/-498261778835863235.html
2014-07-11T17:58:00Z
2014-07-11T17:58:00Z
<p> </p>
<p class="yiv8106581041msoplaintext">Thank you for reading this! I love the show and have been listening since I was little in the backseat of Mom's car. </p>
<p class="yiv8106581041msoplaintext">The past few weeks have felt tremendously overwhelming for me. I have been frustrated at work and to the breaking point at home. I was really starting to resent my family. Every night I come home and clean....regular cleaning along with picking up after each family member.</p>
<p class="yiv8106581041msoplaintext">Tonight as I was fuming to myself picking up dishes, candy wrappers, tipped over garbage cans, spilled coffee and such, I thought about how if I lived alone I wouldn't have to clean like this. All of a sudden I thought....no spilled coffee means I wouldn't have my husband.... No candy wrappers means no kids......my life would be empty. I felt so ashamed for feeling angry about the simple task of picking up after the ones I LOVE! In that few seconds of thinking, I realized how truly blessed I am. I have a wonderful husband who works very hard to provide for us and three great kids who put a smile on my face daily. I have a job. I have a car, a home, and pets. I am a very fortunate woman. I don't know that I will ever look at cleaning up after my family the same.</p>
<p class="yiv8106581041msoplaintext">Melody</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-11T17:58:00Z
People Pleaser
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/People-Pleaser/-879192609158080613.html
2014-07-11T17:57:00Z
2014-07-11T17:57:00Z
<p> </p>
<p class="yiv8106581041msoplaintext">I've struggled with people pleasing all my life. I am learning to speak up for what I think is right, but it's still very hard. I was raised without a father and as a 1-year-old was left to live with a foster-type family where I never quite felt like I belonged.</p>
<p class="yiv8106581041msoplaintext">There are many things that go into creating a mindset where you feel "less-than" and it's very hard to overcome. Comments like, "Oh, are these your daughters?" and hearing the answer, "This one's our daughter and this one is just-like our daughter." At 8 years old, I was literally pulled from that family to go live with my mother and stepfather. I remember crying while sitting the car with them and looking up to see my foster mother crying. I felt like I was causing that. It was so sad, especially after living with them as a family for so long. </p>
<p class="yiv8106581041msoplaintext">All these years later, I struggle with people pleasing, but Dr. Laura, you have helped. I tend to be shy and awkward with conversation and as an exhibiting artist, I push myself to talk to people. I find it hard to praise my own efforts and receive compliments, but I am working on it. I've married a few times. I am happy with how my family has accepted me as a mom who isn't perfect, although I've always tried so hard to do it all perfectly, thinking that is how you must behave to be loved. I have a very nice husband who loves me very much. He understands me and accepts all my past wrong choices. There are many. I have 4 wonderful grown children and 8 grandchildren who are lovely.</p>
<p class="yiv8106581041msoplaintext">There are many unsaid things to this story, but all go with the choices we make have consequences. Divorce is a terrible mistake to put your children through, but it's the choices that need to be examined before we marry that need scrutiny. </p>
<p class="yiv8106581041msoplaintext">I am blessed.</p>
<p class="yiv8106581041msoplaintext">Lila</p>
<p class="yiv8106581041msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-07-11T17:57:00Z
Going the Distance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Going-the-Distance/-274189093105170228.html
2014-07-10T17:58:00Z
2014-07-10T17:58:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>In 2009, my wife confessed she had been having an affair. She told me it was because her needs weren't being met so I agreed to go with her to counseling. She said she resented that sex was better for me than it was for her as she had difficulty with having an orgasm during sex. I asked her what I could do and she told me touch her hair, look into her eyes, play romantic music, light a candle. After weeks and months of attempting to fulfil her requests she would often stop me before or during intimacy and ask me, "Aren't you sorry for all the years I went not enjoying sex?" I would say yes, but still she would ask again many times over the next few years. Her counselor told her to dump her resentment but she seemed to hold onto the hurt. One night, I spent 40 minutes trying to pleasure her, but after that time she seemed upset and I asked her what was wrong. She told me I forgot to turn on the music and light the candle.</p>
<p>Later she told me she didn't feel anything when she was with me and I was free to find a girlfriend because she didn't feel up for sex. I had initially thought that overcoming an affair would be relatively easy because I was willing to put it all behind and start over. The challenge came more with the continual cloud of resentment that I couldn't seem to find my way out of. After going through a few years of this, I finally decided I no longer wanted to be married to my wife, but I had one problem. I listened to your program almost daily on podcast and realized with a daughter at home, divorce wasn't an option. While our intimacy was about dead we both managed to be nice and even like each other most of the time.</p>
<p>Recently, I went to one of my daughters concerts. My attention was not focused so much on her performance, but on her carefree spirit. My daughter seemed so much happier than most of the other kids. Letters would come from different teachers, one who spoke of her "contagious enthusiasm". Often after I come home from work, she will walk up to me with an affectionate hug and put her head on my chest. I couldn't imagine any of this happening had I left a few years back. Dr Laura, I cannot thank you enough for being a beacon of light in an increasingly selfish and confused world. Please know that while you have suffered undeservedly over the years at the hands of angry leftists, your perseverance to speak the truth regardless of what it may cost you has made a difference in countless lives. Over the past year, my wife has been warming up to me and in my estimation she seems to have not only forgiven me, but herself as well. Thank you Dr Laura for making a difference in my life, but more importantly in the life of my daughter. The phrase "Dr. Laura Family" means far more to me than a simple internet subscription. You are a blessing to our family.</p>
<p>Your Friend,</p>
<p>Steve</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-10T17:58:00Z
Keeping Things from Your Spouse
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-Things-from-Your-Spouse/550822240815064453.html
2014-07-10T17:57:00Z
2014-07-10T17:57:00Z
<p><br /><br />I've been married for 15 years: my second, his first. I think when you are married, 90% of the time you need to be honest and not hide things from your spouse, but there are some things, mainly from your past, that may not be something you want to tell your spouse. But for the most of the time, I believe a marriage needs to have communication and honesty. I got into a mess a few years ago by not telling my husband about financial issues. I paid all the bills and I didn't want to tell him if we were struggling. I just handled it and stressed about it by myself. I learned that it was wrong, because when it got really bad and I ended up telling him, he got upset that I was hiding it from him. This goes for things with kids' issues or anything. Now we try to keep open about things, bad or good.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Susan</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-10T17:57:00Z
Doing the Right Thing Can Be Hard
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Doing-the-Right-Thing-Can-Be-Hard/99791055415930142.html
2014-07-08T19:07:00Z
2014-07-08T19:07:00Z
<p><br /><br />I have listened to you for 3 years now and have learned a lot. I want to thank you for being that voice in my ear when it came to our decision to do tough love with our daughter. She was a drug addict for many years. We kicked her out; she had a child; she went to prison and we stood our ground. Those were the toughest years for my husband and I. We have been married for 33 years, but those years we really struggled! During the days I was having a tough time with the decisions we had made toward her, I would listen to your show and there would be a call from someone that your response was right on target for me! I knew we were doing right, even though doing right was very hard for us as a family. We kept our "united family boundary line" and didn't budge! Underneath we would shed tears, but as our oldest said to me once, "Don't let her see a crack in your Teflon!" I laughed and we still keep that phrase between us! Ha.</p>
<p>I am happy to say, that our daughter has been clean for 1 year, and we are beginning the healing process in our family. She is in a program under the courts called, "drug court" and will be under them for 3-5 years. And she is doing well!</p>
<p>Please keep encouraging parents to be strong and do what is right!!! Being strong and having a united family boundary with our daughter saved her life! Thank you again for your preaching, teaching, and nagging it has helped our family to be better people! So I know it helps others!</p>
<p>Barbara</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-08T19:07:00Z
Let Them Work It Out Themselves
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Let-Them-Work-It-Out-Themselves/-603525820907801168.html
2014-07-08T19:04:00Z
2014-07-08T19:04:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I had to dash out of my car, leaving the groceries to be unloaded, and straight to my computer at home to comment on the "Tennis Mom" call I just heard! My husband and I are long time listeners and you accompany us on our long California road trips to visit family and friends - and you provide much interesting conversation material so we are never bored with one another - 30 years later!</p>
<p>Our son graduated from a great college last year where he played 4 years of collegiate tennis and he was captain of his Division 1 team 2 of those years. We spent uncountable hours court side since he was 10 and have seen it all. I advise no parents should get involved - particularly that overbearing mom so upset about her "cheated" kid. The kids are fine; they work it out. They all inadvertently or subconsciously cheat/make bad calls and, it's been my experience, that it all seems to "come out in the wash" eventually! The joy of USTA junior tennis is that young people learn to self-advocate, persevere, dig deep, play smarter and harder, forgive and forget and move on - aren't those all essential life skills? Yes, we agonized over line calls and railed against situations in the privacy of our Suburban but not in front of our son. He's an incredible, fair-minded, compassionate, gorgeous 6 ' 4" 22-year-old man now - thanks in great part to the lessons learned on court!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rally on, Dr. Laura!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kim</p>
<p class="yiv6281255471msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-07-08T19:04:00Z
Filling My Own Tank
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Filling-My-Own-Tank/-96455372100888811.html
2014-07-07T17:58:00Z
2014-07-07T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv6281255471msoplaintext">Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv6281255471msoplaintext">I want to tell you that I think you just get better as you get older, and here's some proof:</p>
<p class="yiv6281255471msoplaintext">I have been looking after the care of my 91-year-old father for the past five years. He lives in a care facility, and needs a good amount of my attention. He was a wonderful dad to me and I am honoring his care of me by returning it to him now. Truth be told, there are many challenging times, due to his dementia. For many of us Baby Boomers, we are seeing our parents live much longer than our grandparents did, and we are seeing a good deal of dementia amongst our elderly parents. So these times could be considered to be "uncharted waters" for us adult children caring for our aging parents. </p>
<p class="yiv6281255471msoplaintext">Listening to your podcasts daily has been a kind of "support therapy" for me as I navigate these years, not knowing how long they will extend, or what challenges lie around the corner. From your show, I have learned so much about human nature, and human behavior, not to mention about living with a moral purpose in mind. Your keen mind and advice have provided me with a much-needed intellectual release from my father's care demands for which I'm responsible. Along the way, I have also been schooled in your ideas about "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands", for which my husband is delighted! So I guess what I'm trying to say is, I can't get "drained" by the caregiving when I am "filling my own tank" with your wisdom and your voice of experience and insight. I would say that two issues we caregivers are learning how to handle is: how to balance our energies in order to properly care of ourselves and our own health, and then to also take good care of our spouses. It feels like a balancing act, and we can only do our best.</p>
<p class="yiv6281255471msoplaintext">Thanks, again, Dr. Laura, for your help and caring.</p>
<p class="yiv6281255471msoplaintext">Lisa</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-07T17:58:00Z
Keeping Secrets from Your Spouse
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-Secrets-from-Your-Spouse/-23905299323083942.html
2014-07-07T17:57:00Z
2014-07-07T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv6281255471msoplaintext">Hi, Dr Laura, </p>
<p class="yiv6281255471msoplaintext">I've been privileged to listen to you for more than 25 years. You saved me many times. You saved my marriage, helped with the kids, helped when the five kids became teens which lasted almost 20 years ongoing, and helped in the professional world. Now I hand out Dr Laura wisdom to my adult kids and their spouses, my husband, and my co-workers. Next to the Bible, you are a great reference for mankind.</p>
<p class="yiv6281255471msoplaintext">For some reason your question whether or not one should keep secrets from their spouse touched me. I've been married for 42 years. We know each other well. Before meeting my husband, I was a wild hippie type living close to San Francisco. We dated for two years and married. He is a real person with goals, priorities, and values. I knew he was a keeper and he feels the same about me. We never in all our years of marriage discussed prior relationships. Not sure if this qualifies as a secret, but we never discussed or compared old boyfriends/girlfriends with one another, ever. I have also never told him of the abortion I had at an early age. We lived our lives from our dating years forward and that has been our lives and our history together. It is a good life we have together. So, yes, I think there are some things in a marriage that don't need to be discussed.</p>
<p class="yiv6281255471msoplaintext">Thank you for continuing your work. It is so needed in our world.</p>
<p class="yiv6281255471msoplaintext">J.</p>
<p class="yiv6281255471msoplaintext"> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-07-07T17:57:00Z
Unresponsiveness in Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Unresponsiveness-in-Marriage/-348503229143894835.html
2014-06-27T17:58:00Z
2014-06-27T17:58:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>I appreciate the person who said they were disgusted with selfish women. Sadly, both husband and wife can be selfish. I think normally a husband wants to please his wife sexually. If he knows how to stir her interest he will do it. If the wife is not pleased, it makes a husband feel that he is a failure. It can make him fearful that he is not a man and if he is not pleasing her she may look elsewhere. A man wants his wife to be happy and satisfied. If she is not, he is not.</p>
<p>Sex goes deeper for men than simply having as orgasm. No man likes having sex with a limp dishrag. If he sees his wife is not being pleased, he comes away from sex with a feeling of disgust and will eventually reject sex with his wife altogether and the danger sets in of being lured elsewhere leaving the wife wondering why he became unfaithful.</p>
<p>My pastor once said, "A man who is satisfied at home doesn't look elsewhere". Another saying I heard was "A man does not run away from happiness." There are times when a man needs to be understood. There are some problems that are hard to deal with, particularly when the wife is under psychiatric care. I understand that some of those medications depress sexual desire. But, that is another matter. I love to buy my wife "just because" flowers. I like to take her out to eat and open her car door. In other words, I like to see her happy. But, a woman who is unresponsive will find those things drying up.</p>
<p>Ronald</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-06-27T17:58:00Z
An Amazing Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/An-Amazing-Dad/430190297493042012.html
2014-06-27T17:41:00Z
2014-06-27T17:41:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br /> I saw this video and immediately thought of you. In my opinion, it reinforces the fact that there are truly amazing dad's in this world. <br /><br />Enjoy! <br /><br /> John <br /><br /></p>
<strong>Published on Jun 20, 2014</strong> <br /> McKenzie Michelle Carey is 11 years old. She was born on April 20th, 2002 with a life threatening disease called Mitochondria. Despite her illness, there's a smile on her face. What an amazing father.
<p> </p>
<iframe height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/DX955sCfbQc" frameborder="0" width="560"></iframe>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-06-27T17:41:00Z
Predicting Lasting Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Predicting-Lasting-Love/750132398048035400.html
2014-06-26T17:59:00Z
2014-06-26T17:59:00Z
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv2098228522msoplaintext">Decades of observation has led me to believe a wife's reaction to her husband to be the best predictor of lasting love. A woman who makes sour faces when her husband is nearby or when her husband is talking, or who mocks him especially in public, reveals the disdain that will likely end the marriage. Likewise, a woman whose face lights up around her husband, who shows some pride in him when he talks in groups, and who is playful with him, is indicating the proper attitude to sustain the marriage. It is not politically correct to say, but most marriages really do succeed or fail on the wife's desire for them to either succeed or fail. That is not to say that men never mess up their marriages, it is to say that in general wives have far more influence and control over the connection they share.</p>
<p class="yiv2098228522msoplaintext">I emphasize wife, not woman. This dynamic does not hold in dating. An old saying is if you want to test a person's strength, give them adversity. To test their character, give them power. Marriage affords women great power over their husbands, even long after a marriage ends, power they do not have when they are trying to persuade the man to walk down the aisle. How women use this power reveals a great deal about the destiny of the relationship. If their tactic shifts from persuasion to dismissiveness or bullying, the destiny is bleak.</p>
<p class="yiv2098228522msoplaintext">Jay</p>
<p class="yiv0751105358msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv0751105358msoplaintext"> </p>
<p> </p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403112539688_27993" class="yiv0751105358MsoPlainText"> </p>
Staff
2014-06-26T17:59:00Z
Father's Day
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fathers-Day/822055373552393569.html
2014-06-26T17:57:00Z
2014-06-26T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403802801093_7322" class="yiv2098228522MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403802801093_7420">Dear Dr Laura,</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403802801093_7327" class="yiv2098228522MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403802801093_7326">Once again, I have to thank you for depositing "little pearls" in my wife's brain... On Father's Day, I got up around 5 am, and opened the drawer where we keep our coffee filters. Nicely laid out on top of the filters was a lacy pair of black silky underwear with a note, saying something like this: "Happy Father's Day, you are loved very much, and just keep in mind all day there's one more present when all the festivities are over." You have helped make our marriage fun and exciting!</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403802801093_7371" class="yiv2098228522MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403802801093_7421">Kind regards,</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403802801093_7422" class="yiv2098228522MsoPlainText"><span>Greg</span></p>
<p class="yiv2098228522msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-06-26T17:57:00Z
My Vision Board Affected My Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Vision-Board-Affected-My-Marriage/864842679177939900.html
2014-06-23T17:58:00Z
2014-06-23T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv0751105358msoplaintext">Dear Dr. Laura,<span style="font-size: 12px;"> </span></p>
<p class="yiv0751105358msoplaintext">I must say that reading "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" 10 years ago still continually changes my life in surprising ways. I really thought that my marriage was great now that I was practicing waking up each day with the thought of how to make my husband's day better, but he shocked me the other day even though you did promise that if I treated him well that it would only come back to me tenfold.</p>
<p class="yiv0751105358msoplaintext">You see I have been creating a vision board each year with words and pictures of what I expect from my year ahead. Something to wake up and see each day to keep me focused on what is important. This vision board is posted beside our bed on the wall. Last year, I was amazed that a few things I wanted came to fruition so I happily created my new board this past January and again a few things happened that I really, really wanted to happen. It finally hit me in the face why these things were happening. It was because my knight in shining armor was looking at my vision board too and seeing what I desired the most and of course wanted these things for me. He wants to make my dreams come true no matter how small. WOW! I had no idea 10 years ago that this is what love is not a feeling per se, but constantly looking for ways to make your spouse's life better each and every day.</p>
<p class="yiv0751105358msoplaintext">Thank you again. This never would have happened if I had not read your book.</p>
<p class="yiv0751105358msoplaintext">Sincerely,</p>
<p class="yiv0751105358msoplaintext">Andree</p>
<p class="yiv0751105358msoplaintext"> </p>
<p> </p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403112539688_27993" class="yiv0751105358MsoPlainText"> </p>
Staff
2014-06-23T17:58:00Z
What Do You Do All Day?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Do-You-Do-All-Day/389538743901812166.html
2014-06-23T17:57:00Z
2014-06-23T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv0751105358msoplaintext">Dear Dr. Laura,<span style="font-size: 12px;"> </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403112539688_27975" class="yiv0751105358MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403112539688_27974">Thought you would like to hear this story. Years ago my very dear friend had her first child and was a stay-at-home mom. Her husband came home one evening and asked what she did all day. She decided not to respond until the next day. That morning, she started with making her husband his lunch for him to take to work. She took out the mayo, bread, knife, etc. And left it out. She didn't make the bed, all the diapers used that day she just left where she changed the baby. Anything she used she didn't put away: baby food, blankets, toys, etc. Well, you can see where I am going. The house was a total wreak. Her husband came home that evening, and said, "Oh, my gosh!! What happened?" With a smile on my dear friend's face she said to her husband, "This is what happens when I do nothing." He laughed so hard, and to this day he has never asked again, "What do you do all day?"</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403112539688_28051" class="yiv0751105358MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403112539688_28050">We are stilling laughing about this and still very happy together.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403112539688_28055" class="yiv0751105358MsoPlainText"><span>A.</span></p>
<p class="yiv0751105358msoplaintext"> </p>
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<p> </p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403112539688_27993" class="yiv0751105358MsoPlainText"> </p>
Staff
2014-06-23T17:57:00Z
Sex in Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sex-in-Marriage/317161899591100054.html
2014-06-20T17:58:00Z
2014-06-20T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403112539688_27993" class="yiv0751105358MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403112539688_27992">Recently I have read three emails regarding marital sex, and I'm disgusted with the selfishness of the women. I see it all around me, too. Men and women are different. To demand that sex is all one-sided is SELFISH. Men, I think, show their LOVE through sex. Women want romance, or gifts. Men and women are VERY different. </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403112539688_27970" class="yiv0751105358MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403112539688_27969">If you are married, you work it out! These women are keepers of the gate and have padlocked their husbands out. If your husband WANTS to sexually please you, and nothing does, that's YOUR problem. And if you are unwilling to remember how to find what pleases you, SHAME ON YOU! Denying him because YOU don't want it is SELFISH.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403112539688_27996" class="yiv0751105358MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403112539688_27995">I have been married over 40 years. We've had sex many times more than I thought I wanted it. But I love HIM. I have had many, many orgasms, but honestly, they don't drive me. When I'm in a blah mood sexually which is really self-centeredness. I think of my life in total. Am I going to risk my marriage, my home, my kids, my lifestyle, my WORLD just because I'm 'not in the mood'?! Much of this is because people let the little issues smolder and before you know it you've got a fire. A fire can become a conflagration and destroy everything. Twenty years ago life was difficult. I never wanted sex. We had it every night. I knew that at the time it was the only glue holding us together. We have survived, and grown. I love him more now than then. As I said in the beginning, I'm disgusted with the behavior of selfish women.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403112539688_28095" class="yiv0751105358MsoPlainText"><span>J.</span></p>
<p class="yiv0751105358msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-06-20T17:58:00Z
Drug-Addict Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Drug-Addict-Kids/-470304005511640817.html
2014-06-20T17:57:00Z
2014-06-20T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403282943391_8190" class="yiv0779160033MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403282943391_8189">Hi Dr. Laura,</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403282943391_8194" class="yiv0779160033MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403282943391_8193">I'm listening to a caller regarding her 21-year-old son who was in jail and has a drug problem. She wants him to come home and live. I have a 29-year-old daughter who has been a heroin addict and homeless for 4 years now. It was a difficult, sad and heartbreaking to accept I can't fix it for her and I have no control over her addiction. The only control I have over her addiction is how I let it affect me. I will do nothing to help her kill herself, but I will do everything to help her live if she ever decides she's ready for rehab.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403282943391_8208" class="yiv0779160033MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403282943391_8207">Thank you for all you do.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403282943391_8210" class="yiv0779160033MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403282943391_8211">Erin</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403112539688_27993" class="yiv0751105358MsoPlainText"> </p>
<p class="yiv0751105358msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-06-20T17:57:00Z
Conflict Resolution
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Conflict-Resolution/906664020108226857.html
2014-06-19T17:58:00Z
2014-06-19T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv0751105358msoplaintext">Conflict is usually an issue with communication. Here is what I learned from my first marriage:</p>
<p class="yiv0751105358msoplaintext">1. Follow my mother's advice: shut up and listen. Numerous times I've listened to my significant other and found the source of a misunderstanding, corrected it explained my meaning or clarified events and moved forward.</p>
<p class="yiv0751105358msoplaintext">2. Compromise isn't giving in. Constantly telling the other person "no" only creates animosity. Listening to what they want and devising a plan you BOTH can live with makes life so much easier.</p>
<p class="yiv0751105358msoplaintext">3. You have more control with a soft voice and clean, non-accusatory language than trying to yell over each other, swearing at each other, or setting them into the defensive.</p>
<p class="yiv0751105358msoplaintext">4. Know all the facts. Too often I jumped to a conclusion which left me negative and hurting and feeling down right stupid when I found out the truth.</p>
<p class="yiv0751105358msoplaintext">5. Don't go to friends with an issue: bad reporting paints a negative image of your loved one that can't be changed. Go to the source, not the crowd.</p>
<p class="yiv0751105358msoplaintext">6. Don't argue when tired, hungry, distracted by media, or children are present. Your full attention is not on resolving that issue, but tending to something more pleasurable.</p>
<p class="yiv0751105358msoplaintext">7. And lastly, don't argue through a text. The other person cannot see your facial expression, hear the tone and inflections in your voice, or know what stressors are pounding on your back at that moment and things will only escalate. A person reads a text based on the mood THEY are in at that moment, not necessarily as the writer intended. Agree to call and talk over the phone at that time or wait to chat at a later time when you can better judge their body language.</p>
<p class="yiv0751105358msoplaintext">Vicky</p>
<p class="yiv0751105358msonormal"> </p>
<p class="yiv9794902458msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-06-19T17:58:00Z
Book Pilfering
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Book-Pilfering/737687543880979795.html
2014-06-19T17:57:00Z
2014-06-19T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403112539688_27758" class="yiv0751105358MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403112539688_27757">We host weddings at our ranch in Arizona, and it breaks my heart to see all the optimistic, joyous couples only to realize that statistics say their marriages have only a 50/50 chance of surviving. So I purchased a few copies of "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and leave one in the bride's dressing casita at each wedding. Four out of five times it is gone the next morning when I check the casita. I am most certain it was lifted by "accident," but, whatever, I am doing my little part to help these marriages succeed.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403112539688_27785" class="yiv0751105358MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403112539688_27784">Thank you Dr. Laura for your insightful book. I'm going to try "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriages" next! I'll let you know how it fares.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403112539688_27841" class="yiv0751105358MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403112539688_27853">Regards,</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403112539688_27839" class="yiv0751105358MsoPlainText"><span>Carolyn<br /> </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403112539688_27877" class="yiv0751105358MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1403112539688_27876">P.S. I've been married for many years, but reading the book myself and applying some of the suggestions has made my happy husband even more loving and content.</span></p>
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-06-19T17:57:00Z
Thinking of Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thinking-of-Dad/-621973213172390456.html
2014-06-18T17:58:00Z
2014-06-18T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv9794902458msoplaintext">My paternal grandmother was a member of the Salish Flathead tribe; in 1986, she was honored as the "Bravest Woman in Montana". She bore 14 children, 10 boys and 4 girls. Six boys served in uniform during WWII, a seventh was too young, but he joined after the war. My dad had bad feet, and could not pass the physical. He was a carpenter and volunteer fireman in a small town north of Seattle, Washington. He was killed in a hunting accident on Whidbey Island when I was a HS sophomore. One of the things he told me was about an old Indian chief who was teaching his grandson about important things in life:</p>
<blockquote>
<p class="yiv9794902458msoplaintext">The chief said, "There is a battle." "Grandfather? What kind of battle do you face?" "There are two wolves living inside me and they are in a raging battle." "Right now?" the boy asked. "Yes, right now. In fact, the wolves never seem to stop their warfare." The old man sat back, looking far into the distance. "What are they fighting over, Grandfather?" the boy asked. "My life", the old man replied. "I don't understand," said the boy, turning toward the old man. "Who are the two wolves?" The wise old man continued. "One wolf is obedient, unselfish and humble; he does what is good to do. The other wolf is rebellious and full of pride and seeks his own glory and gain. These two wolves are fighting all the time, and my soul is their battleground." The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?" The old chief simply replied, "The one you feed."</p>
</blockquote>
<p class="yiv9794902458msoplaintext">So, you might want to ask me how I know. Because, my father told me so.</p>
<p class="yiv9794902458msoplaintext">This anonymous poem pretty much says it all:</p>
<p class="yiv9794902458msoplaintext"><strong>What Makes a Dad?</strong></p>
<p class="yiv9794902458msoplaintext">God took the strength of a mountain,<br /><span style="font-size: 12px;">The majesty of a tree,<br /></span><span style="font-size: 12px;">The warmth of a summer sun,<br /></span><span style="font-size: 12px;">The calm of a quiet sea,<br /></span><span style="font-size: 12px;">The generous soul of nature,<br /></span><span style="font-size: 12px;">The comforting arm of night,<br /></span><span style="font-size: 12px;">The wisdom of the ages,<br /></span><span style="font-size: 12px;">The power of the eagle's flight,<br /></span><span style="font-size: 12px;">The joy of a morning in spring,<br /></span><span style="font-size: 12px;">The faith of a mustard seed,<br /></span><span style="font-size: 12px;">The patience of eternity,<br /></span><span style="font-size: 12px;">The depth of a family need,<br /></span><span style="font-size: 12px;">Then God combined these qualities,<br /></span><span style="font-size: 12px;">When there was nothing more to add,<br /></span><span style="font-size: 12px;">He knew His masterpiece was complete,<br /></span><span style="font-size: 12px;">And so, He called it ... Dad</span></p>
<p class="yiv9794902458msoplaintext">We must always remember that: Any man can be a father, but it takes a special person to be called Dad.</p>
<p class="yiv9794902458msoplaintext">Chuck</p>
<p class="yiv9794902458msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv8481968364msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv8481968364msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402338730112_5605" class="yiv3032110740MsoPlainText"> </p>
Staff
2014-06-18T17:58:00Z
A Father's Day Thanks
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Fathers-Day-Thanks/-950639215214016007.html
2014-06-18T17:57:00Z
2014-06-18T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br />This one is for you, Dr. Laura. Thanks for being my role model and monitor. – John<br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/letter2.jpg" alt="" /><br /><br /><br /></span></p>
<p class="yiv9794902458msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-06-18T17:57:00Z
They Tore Up Their Parenting Cards
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/They-Tore-Up-Their-Parenting-Cards/923214328332632712.html
2014-06-17T17:58:00Z
2014-06-17T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv8481968364msoplaintext">Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv8481968364msoplaintext">I wanted to share with you about my two disappointing parents and how I have made a bad childhood into a good life. My parents divorced when I was 2 years old. My dad had every other weekend visitations with me. I was mostly left with friends of his who I didn't know or I was taken to bars and dance clubs while my dad drank.</p>
<p class="yiv8481968364msoplaintext">When I was 5 years old, my mom had her boyfriend move in with us and shortly after that he started molesting me. On top of that, my mom facilitated some inappropriate things as well. They eventually married two years later. It was around this time that my dad missed picking me up for a visitation. Little did I know I wasn't going to see or hear from him for twenty years.</p>
<p class="yiv8481968364msoplaintext">When I was 8 years old, I finally had courage to tell my teacher what had been happening to me at home. From that moment on my life changed dramatically. When the social worker contacted my mom, she said I was lying about everything. I then had to be removed from my house and my aunt and uncle took me in, eventually getting temporary custody. The boyfriend went to jail for a short time, but then the judge put my mom, my abuser and me back into the same house. It was mentally and emotionally hell for me. My aunt and uncle desperately tried to keep custody, but they lost that battle. I was awarded Victims Assistance money for my mental health and that started my many years in therapy.</p>
<p class="yiv8481968364msoplaintext">When I was 17, I couldn't take it anymore being with my mom and my abuser so I "ran away" to my aunt and uncle's and never looked back. I then completely cut off all communication and ties with my mother.</p>
<p class="yiv8481968364msoplaintext">Since then, I have gotten married to a wonder man and have two amazing little children. My mother has never seen or met any of them. About 7 years ago, my father got in contact. After getting to know him for a whole year and after I wouldn't give him money or citizenship, I told him to have a good life and made the decision I wasn't going to have him in my life. He wasn't safe or trustworthy to have around. And I haven't heard from him since.</p>
<p class="yiv8481968364msoplaintext">Well, that is the short version. After all of this, I can say I have a blessed life. I have had years of extensive therapy and have had healing from a lot of my trauma. I also, have had a very strong faith in God and He has guided me to a mentally healthier life and helped me to create a better family legacy within my own little family. I also have had so many wonderful speaking opportunities in churches, Juvenal Halls, and therapy groups to share my story of hope and healing. I have so much support from my aunt, uncle, cousins and many close friends. I will always strive to be what God has intended me to be and to continue to be on a journey of healing.</p>
<p class="yiv8481968364msoplaintext">Barb</p>
<p class="yiv8481968364msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402338730112_5605" class="yiv3032110740MsoPlainText"> </p>
Staff
2014-06-17T17:58:00Z
Disinterested Spouse
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Disinterested-Spouse/493811964270797161.html
2014-06-17T17:57:00Z
2014-06-17T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv8481968364msoplaintext">I completely understand the man who sent this e-mail: "<a href="/b/Why-Couples-Turn-Down-Sex/-110098973010809207.html" target="_self">Why Couples Turn Down Sex</a>". What he called "mercy sex", I call disinterested sex. Either way a man finds it to be nearly impossible to ready himself when the other party isn't interested. Afterwards he feels a loathing impossible to describe. No sex at all is better than sex with a spouse disinterested. A man feels he is a failure and not fully satisfied, further compounding the problem. It is no wonder the man is willing to turn down sex knowing how he will feel afterwards.</p>
<p class="yiv8481968364msoplaintext">Ronald</p>
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402338730112_5605" class="yiv3032110740MsoPlainText"> </p>
Staff
2014-06-17T17:57:00Z
Proof You Have a Choice on How to Live Your Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Proof-You-Have-a-Choice-on-How-to-Live-Your-Life/297500853967736174.html
2014-06-16T17:58:00Z
2014-06-16T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv0830843146msoplaintext">Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv0830843146msoplaintext">My story is very long, but I'll keep it very brief. I'm 54 years old. After all is said and done, my ''mom", I'll call her Linda, was married 5 times that I know of. She made 5 kids with 5 different guys, possibly more. I was the only girl and was the second child born. I was Linda's built-in babysitter, housekeeper, grocery shopper, nurse for my brother who had a birth defect, chef, laundry person, etc. I did all of this for her for as far back as I can remember. I often felt she had a girl so that she could have a personal assistant.</p>
<p class="yiv0830843146msoplaintext">There were a lot of guys in and out of Linda's life, but I never had a person in my life who I referred to as "Dad". Linda would work 3 jobs if she had to in order to avoid welfare because she was too "proud" to accept it. Funny how a person can be totally proud in one area of their life, but not in other areas. She'd bring guys home, but wouldn't accept "help" so she could provide for the little ones she created. Thank goodness for the insightful neighbors we had, as they would bring food to us at the most appropriate times, which were probably towards the end of the month now that I think about it. Thank goodness for the neighbors that would occasionally provide us with a 20 day hot lunch ticket, which was a great relief to me! I SO LOOKED FORWARD TO THAT MEAL EACH DAY!</p>
<p class="yiv0830843146msoplaintext">Today, Linda is married and is very deep into religion and politics. Ironically, when I was younger, she wouldn't get herself out of bed to watch me sing in the church choir on Sunday mornings. About 6 years ago, Linda contacted all 5 of her kids and told them that she wouldn't be contacting them anymore. If we wanted to talk to her, we'd have to be the ones to contact her first. Evidently Linda has come to the realization of what she's done and feels that if she throws her kids away, all of her "wrongs" will go away too. It's too bad that she threw us away. It felt like a slap in the face, considering that until then, we all had her on a pedestal, sighting "She did the best she could at the time" as the reason she had so many things "happen" to her. We stuck with her no matter what. Too bad she didn't stick with us no matter what.</p>
<p class="yiv0830843146msoplaintext">I never had a close relationship with my brothers once she ripped them away from me, and moved away so she could get married that last time. The good news in all of this though is that my brothers and I got together last October for the first time in 30+ years. We thoroughly enjoyed re-connecting. We enjoyed it so much that we've decided to get together again this October.</p>
<p class="yiv0830843146msoplaintext">I dated my junior high school sweetheart for 6 years before we got married. We've been married for 33 years now. I vowed to not go down the same path Linda did, and I'm proof that you have a choice in how you live your life.</p>
<p class="yiv0830843146msoplaintext">Thanks for listening Dr. Laura.</p>
<p class="yiv0830843146msoplaintext">Melinda</p>
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402338730112_5605" class="yiv3032110740MsoPlainText"> </p>
Staff
2014-06-16T17:58:00Z
Woody Speaks Words of Wisdom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Woody-Speaks-Words-of-Wisdom/118975087341170612.html
2014-06-16T17:57:00Z
2014-06-16T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"><br />Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv0830843146msoplaintext">I happened to put on <em>Toy Story 3</em> for my children. I heard Woody say this line, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I had to rewind it, to hear it again. Woody says, "Day care is a sad, lonely place for washed up old toys who have no owners." Wow. Replace "toys" for children, and what does it say? "Day care is a sad, lonely place for washed up old children who have no parents." How sad.</p>
<p class="yiv0830843146msoplaintext">Christina</p>
<p class="yiv0830843146msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv0830843146msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-06-16T17:57:00Z
Parents Afraid of Their Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parents-Afraid-of-Their-Kids/904501461507882829.html
2014-06-13T17:58:00Z
2014-06-13T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv0830843146msoplaintext">Dr. Laura:</p>
<p class="yiv0830843146msoplaintext">I think parents are afraid of their kids for a few reasons:</p>
<ol>
<li> More than any other time in our history, adults do not want to be and/or don't know how to be adults.</li>
<li>A lot of parents see their kids as only an extension of themselves instead of seeing and raising their kids as individuals, created in the image of God, with their own personality, strengths, weaknesses, etc.</li>
<li>Parents who want everybody to love them or who try extra hard to please everybody often have poor self-control, poor sense of responsibility, and poor emotional/spiritual/psycho/mental development. They have an immature view of what it means to be an adult.</li>
<li>Parents who don't have a solid spiritual/religious foundation often don't have a moral purpose for their kids, or themselves.</li>
<li>A whole generation of parents are so self-indulged, so 'educated,' and so myopic, they foolishly believe that kids should be able to 'choose' their own path and a whole lot of other psychobabble.</li>
</ol>
<p class="yiv0830843146msoplaintext">In my opinion, these are often parents who were raised in the 60s. As a child born in 1971, I often have the sense that my generation, children of the 60s parents, is/was the cusp generation. We were the kids who were experimented on with our 60s parents. For the most part, as a generation, we turned out okay because our grandparents were still around and had a major impact on our lives, so we were able to benefit from the morality, teaching, wisdom, discipline, etc, of them.</p>
<p class="yiv0830843146msoplaintext">Ultimately, parents fear their children because they are weak, naive, immature, lazy, selfish, etc. and it takes too much time and energy to train, teach, and discipline their child. These parents have too many other important things to do than deal with a whiney, spoiled kid. What the kid ultimately learns is that if I whine, cry, or throw tantrums enough, I will not only get my way, but my parents' ATTENTION - even if it is negative attention - which gives the kid some sense of control and an attitude of 'sticking it to mommy or daddy'. What the parent fails to grasp is that this behavior may 'work' in their own homes, but not in the real world, where little Johnny or Susie will have to learn these behaviors will be met with an equal and opposite force that they will not like.</p>
<p class="yiv0830843146msoplaintext">Evie</p>
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402338730112_5605" class="yiv3032110740MsoPlainText"> </p>
Staff
2014-06-13T17:58:00Z
Teaching Him Young
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teaching-Him-Young/-901033686126824638.html
2014-06-13T17:57:00Z
2014-06-13T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv0830843146msoplaintext">Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv0830843146msoplaintext">I have been a longtime listener of your show for the past 10+ years. My husband and I had our first child last year, so I can now proudly say that I am my kid's mom! He is 8 months old and I wanted to pass along this picture of him with some reading material that he got his hands on.</p>
<p class="yiv0830843146msoplaintext">Thanks for all that you do.</p>
<p class="yiv0830843146msoplaintext">Sincerely,</p>
<p class="yiv0830843146msoplaintext">Katie</p>
<p class="yiv0830843146msoplaintext"><img src="/images/blog/picletter061314.jpg" alt="" width="544" height="600" /></p>
Staff
2014-06-13T17:57:00Z
A Father's Day Memory
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Fathers-Day-Memory/782798655050339516.html
2014-06-12T17:58:00Z
2014-06-12T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"><br />As Father's Day approaches I think about my Dad - he died when I was 8 years old - 48 years ago. I don't remember everything about Daddy, but I do recall certain special memories. In particular, I remember him making me feel special. Daddy ran a grain elevator on the outskirts of our town and I remember calling him at work and asking him to "come get me" and he put aside what he was doing, drove into town to picked me up so I could go back to work with him and spend a few hours. He was such a special daddy.</p>
<p class="yiv0830843146msoplaintext">I am so blessed to have these type of memories of my dad and also so blessed to still have my wonderful mother. She raised 3 kids after Daddy died - she was only 37 years old. She gave us wonderful childhoods even though we didn't have a dad. What a lucky girl I am to have such awesome parents.</p>
<p class="yiv0830843146msoplaintext">Paula</p>
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402338730112_5605" class="yiv3032110740MsoPlainText"> </p>
Staff
2014-06-12T17:58:00Z
Energy vs. Focused Concentration
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Energy-vs.-Focused-Concentration/-600095971223749858.html
2014-06-12T17:57:00Z
2014-06-12T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv0830843146msoplaintext"><br />As the mother of 4 boys who finally gave me some granddaughters, there is a BIG difference in the way they learn.</p>
<p class="yiv0830843146msoplaintext">Boys are more physical and their attention span is shorter. I remember helping my boys with homework and their eyes glazing over. I would tell them to race around the house, give them a snack, then we could continue. What a difference with girls! They have much longer, more intense attention spans. They can lose themselves in a book or work on art projects that the boys would not be able to stick with. Boys = energy. Girls = focused concentration. Boys seem to learn amid chaos and disorder. Girls seem to need things to look "nice" or "pretty." Boys seem to want to take things apart to see how they work, while girls just want things to work and be in order.</p>
<p class="yiv0830843146msoplaintext">How do we cohabitate?</p>
<p class="yiv0830843146msoplaintext">Vicki</p>
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402338730112_5605" class="yiv3032110740MsoPlainText"> </p>
Staff
2014-06-12T17:57:00Z
Bad Childhood, Good Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bad-Childhood,-Good-Life/607617147836373581.html
2014-06-11T17:58:00Z
2014-06-11T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402338730112_5605" class="yiv3032110740MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402338730112_5606">Hello Dr. Laura.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402338730112_5594" class="yiv3032110740MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402338730112_5593">I am 63 years young now and have raised 2 children who I am very proud of. I have listened to you for at least 15 years. I finally bought a new car this year that came with a SiriusXM radio and "wala", there you were again.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402338730112_5602" class="yiv3032110740MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402338730112_5601">I am writing you about a book you wrote that helped me finally heal and stop beating myself up about a BAD CHILDHOOD and WHY ME? LOL... I can laugh about it now thanks to one particular book. I have read several of your books but "Bad Childhood Good Life" was an emotional life saver for me when I read it. I refer back to it often.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402338730112_5599" class="yiv3032110740MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402338730112_5598">When I was 15, my stepfather decided to "show" himself to me while I was home alone doing chores on a Saturday. He was a night worker and was supposed to be sleeping. He sat down beside me and put his hand on my leg and I saw everything I shouldn't as his robe was totally open. I jumped up and ran outside and stayed the rest of the day until my mother arrived home about 3 hours later. I told her what happened and she dismissed it as if I were making it up. She said "He would never do anything to you", and I told her that it was wrong and he should not be showing himself to me.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402338730112_5596" class="yiv3032110740MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402338730112_5595">The next morning she confronted him in front of me and asked him why he wasn't covered up. He just said he didn't know anything was showing. To make this clear, this was a man of indescribable perfectionism. He acted like he didn't do anything wrong. In front of my mother, I told him he knew he was showing and then had the nerve to touch me with everything showing. I couldn't believe my mother was putting me in this very scary situation. I made sure I was never home alone with him ever again.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402338730112_5610" class="yiv3032110740MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402338730112_5609">My mother was bi-polar and extremely violent at times. It was a scary house to grow up in. I always felt guilty about the lack of love I had for my mother. I was scared of her. I never knew when she would slap me across the room just because she didn't like the way I looked at her.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402338730112_5613" class="yiv3032110740MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402338730112_5612">Your book Bad Childhood, Good Life was my final healing. Thank you for writing it. It validated all I had felt being raised by this woman. I think you are a tough lady, Dr. Laura and I hope to be listening to you for a long time.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402338730112_5615" class="yiv3032110740MsoPlainText"><span>Thank you again,</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402338730112_5617" class="yiv3032110740MsoPlainText"><span>Survivor....</span></p>
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv9334625944msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv1152451788msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-06-11T17:58:00Z
How I Accept Criticism with Grace
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Accept-Criticism-with-Grace/-474228694097872124.html
2014-06-11T17:57:00Z
2014-06-11T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"><br />When I meet with new client, I set the tone for good communication at the first meeting. I explain it is preferred that concerns regarding service are important because I want to keep good service ongoing. So, when a client has a complaint/concern, the first thing I say is, <strong>"Thank you for telling me."</strong> That puts the client at ease, the concern is addressed, and a resolution is reached.</p>
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext">I also explain this to my employees. Good communication/good service will keep us all working.</p>
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext">In short, the two magic words that have withstood the test of time are: please and thank you.</p>
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext">Thanks and God bless,<br /><br /><span style="font-size: 12px;">Colette</span></p>
<p class="yiv9334625944msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv1152451788msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-06-11T17:57:00Z
Small Gesture...Big Impact
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Small-Gesture...Big-Impact/-935917027040725181.html
2014-06-10T17:58:00Z
2014-06-10T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv0640634494msonormal"><span><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402418485528_2112" class="yiv0640634494msonormal"><span>My husband goes out every day to slay dragons for me and my daughter. Last week he was under quite a bit of stress at work and called home to tell me he wouldn't be home in time to have dinner with us. He then asked if it was ok to workout at his gym knowing he would miss seeing our daughter before I took her to water polo practice. I left him a nice dinner in the oven and two notes. The first was left on the kitchen counter saying "Have a great workout. Big Hug!" The second note I left in the drawer where he keeps his workout clothes. The note said "Let's have some fun tonight." On top of the note was a pair of my sexiest panties. Needless to say he walked in from his workout with a big smile, gave me a sweaty hug and kiss and said "Your notes made my night."</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402418485528_2114" class="yiv0640634494msonormal"><span>Even after 13 years of marriage I am amazed that such a small gesture on my part could make such a huge impact on my marriage. I love listening to you. Keep up the good fight.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402418485528_2116" class="yiv0640634494msonormal"><span>Marianne</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402418485528_2118" class="yiv0640634494msonormal"><span>P.S. And yes...we had fun that night.</span></p>
<p class="yiv3032110740msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv1152451788msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-06-10T17:58:00Z
Showing Affection Is Not the Job of Only One Spouse
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Showing-Affection-Is-Not-the-Job-of-Only-One-Spouse/-993121291211993480.html
2014-06-10T17:57:00Z
2014-06-10T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv0640634494msonormal"><span><br />Hi Dr. Laura,</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402418485528_2081" class="yiv0640634494msonormal"><span>It's too late for our marriage - my wife has filed for divorce, but I wanted to put my two cents into why spouses turn down sex as I feel that it was a major factor in our marriage failing. The major issue we had was if my wife treated me with contempt or disapproval the last thing in the world I wanted was to be intimate with her. Which she turned into: "He doesn't want sex so there must be something wrong with you". She just never got it. We'd have fights over it and later I'd try to reason with her, but she always came back with "all guys want sex, no matter how poorly they're treated".</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402418485528_2083" class="yiv0640634494msonormal"><span>I tried to explain that certain physical changes had to occur before a man could perform and if he's not mentally in the game nothing was going to help. Another issue was in ten years she never initiated the lovemaking. I was told that was my job.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402418485528_2085" class="yiv0640634494msonormal"><span>We have two wonderful boys who are now forced to live with separated parents due to this issue wrecking our marriage. I know it's too late for us, but if you could please stress how important it is for BOTH spouses in a marriage to work at showing affection. It's not the job of only one spouse.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402418485528_2087" class="yiv0640634494msonormal"><span>Thanks,</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1402418485528_2089" class="yiv0640634494msonormal"><span>Richard</span></p>
<p class="yiv0640634494msonormal"><span><br /></span></p>
<p class="yiv1152451788msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-06-10T17:57:00Z
Extramarital Crushes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Extramarital-Crushes/-717958084691391790.html
2014-06-09T17:58:00Z
2014-06-09T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv9334625944msoplaintext"><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv9334625944msoplaintext"><span style="font-size: 12px;">The best thing to do with an extramarital crush is: RUN! Run *away* from the crush, ASAP. I didn't, and it nearly cost me everything. My crush was a much-older, understanding, fatherly, respected church leader. I was 28, in his support group for "adult children of dysfunctional families." It took only a whisper in my ear to ignite the crush. I should have run for the hills, changed churches, and never let it become a "thing" that wreaked havoc in my life for years, mainly because I involved myself in activities where this person would be. These were activities that were good and positive, what a good "cover" for me!</span></p>
<p class="yiv9334625944msoplaintext"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Then my husband found out. The crush did, too. I lost a friend when I confided in her. I nearly lost my husband, family, and all that was precious to me. Time and distance sorted out my crush. It was a monster in my head, scaring and confusing me for years. The monster lived and thrived, so long as I sought the crush out, even for a glimpse. When I finally put distance between myself and anything near the crush, the monster in my head went away.</span></p>
<p class="yiv9334625944msoplaintext"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Nowadays I'm focused on being my husband's girlfriend and my 4 kids' mom. I spend every day focusing on what I can do, to make sure my husband is happy he is married to me. We are not perfect, but better and more mature than we were when we first married. Thinking of this time in my life isn't easy and I feel a little sick. But if it helps just one listener, then it's good.</span></p>
<p class="yiv9334625944msoplaintext"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Keep up the good work Dr. Laura. Thank you for the preaching, teaching and nagging that changed my life.</span></p>
<p class="yiv9334625944msoplaintext">Sincerely,</p>
<p class="yiv9334625944msoplaintext"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Margaret</span></p>
<p class="yiv1152451788msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-06-09T17:58:00Z
A Real Feminist
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Real-Feminist/965412174942452852.html
2014-06-09T17:57:00Z
2014-06-09T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv9334625944msoplaintext">Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv9334625944msoplaintext">I thought I threw feminism out the door when I became a stay-at-home mom. I grew up in a dysfunctional family. My parents started having children as teenagers and it was not a big deal to them when I got pregnant at 19. After meeting my husband and having two more children I wanted to do things the right way. I found a pastor and pastor's wife to instruct me in this area. I recently moved away from my pastor and his wonderful family when my husband got a job in another state. I miss them dearly. Two weeks ago, I found you through your podcast and after listen to the first episode I was hooked. I listen to you as I run, clean, cook, and run my errands. Through listening to you I found you are the true feminist. You don't put up with men or women who lie, cheat, and are abusive, yet you embrace your womanhood as a mom and a wife. You have become my new cheerleader. Thank you.</p>
<p class="yiv9334625944msoplaintext">Yours truly,</p>
<p class="yiv9334625944msoplaintext">Janine</p>
<p class="yiv9334625944msoplaintext">My kids' mom and my husband's girlfriend</p>
<p class="yiv9334625944msoplaintext">P.S. I called recently to ask about going back to school and you said to take online classes so I can still be there for my kids. Beautiful.</p>
<p class="yiv1152451788msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-06-09T17:57:00Z
A Father Teaches His Son
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Father-Teaches-His-Son/-200713730139492044.html
2014-06-06T17:56:00Z
2014-06-06T17:56:00Z
<p><br />You spend a lot of time on the air talking about the importance of a father in children's lives, especially their sons, and I wanted to share a short story. My husband and I were taking my 88-year-old mother-in-law out to dinner. He dropped us off at the door while he parked the car. She uses a cane and looks very frail.</p>
<p>When we got into the restaurant, there was a short wait. There were some benches along the wall that were full. Two men in their 50's were sitting together and deliberately not making eye contact so they would not be expected to give up their seat for my mother-in-law. The rest of the bench was taken up by a young family: the dad, their 3-year-old toddler son, the mom, a 5-year-old daughter and an infant. The father took his young son by the hand, said quietly, "C'mon Buddy" and they both stood up and walked away from the seats. He nodded to us, motioned to the vacated seats and said, "Ladies"... I was so touched, not only that he gave up his own seat, but his gentle training of his very young son. This little boy will grow up to respect his mother, his wife and his elders.</p>
<p><br />Cindie</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-06-06T17:56:00Z
Using My Intuition, Knowledge, and Courage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Using-My-Intuition,-Knowledge,-and-Courage/-831282542365405974.html
2014-06-06T17:54:00Z
2014-06-06T17:54:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>I am a 47-year-old woman, a Marriage and Family Therapist Intern, and I am currently working on my doctorate. I just wanted to share with you how thankful I am for your wisdom. I have listened to you, off and on, for many years.</p>
<p>After I raised my children and divorced, I returned to school at the age of 40 to become a therapist. I had a few professors in school who did not like you, but I always respected your honesty, brilliance, and accuracy. Your show has been my guilty pleasure. I now realize others are jealous of your intellect. I graduated and began my internship a year and a 1/2 ago and realized clients want authenticity and honesty. You have been more of an inspiration than all three supervisors I have combined.</p>
<p>I just wanted to let you know that I have learned so much from you over the years, and now that I am a therapist in private practice, I appreciate and acknowledge your wisdom even more. Thank you for inspiring me and making me a better therapist. You have been a mentor and an inspiration to me. I even now listen to your calls of the day as I get ready for my busy day of clients just to get my juices flowing. I have become even more effective by using my intuition, knowledge, and courage to be effective with my clients, and I wanted to say thank you for inspiring me to do so. As you used to say back in the day.....Go take on the day!!</p>
<p><br />Tracy</p>
Staff
2014-06-06T17:54:00Z
The New Way to be 'Voted off the Island'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-New-Way-to-be-Voted-off-the-Island/-90804356601161282.html
2014-06-05T20:53:00Z
2014-06-05T20:53:00Z
<p class="yiv1152451788msoplaintext"><br />I'm glad you're talking about this. I hate Facebook because I think it is just a place to brag and pretend to be a lot more interesting than you really are. My teenagers aren't even on it!<br /><br />I had a bad experience with my sister planning holiday get-togethers with our extended family who is spread out in different states, but we were not invited. She has the ability to fly in her husband's family's company jet everywhere, so I got to see all the things that we could not be a part of constantly on Facebook. Then she would post photos of herself looking like a model! I think there are a lot of 40-something women on it, looking for validation from others and I believe it leads to a lot of infidelity in marriages. I even had someone from my old high school stalk me on it!<br /><br />It's bad enough to go through the teenage years always feeling sort of unsure about the whole social aspect, but now the poor kids see everything they are left out of on Facebook! I noticed I no longer get emails from my friends and family, but they expect me to just follow them on their page, so everything is made public. I feel like we've lost all intimacy in society-- and privacy. It is definitely a lot lonelier now than it used to be. If you aren't on Facebook, then forget about keeping up with your siblings, nieces, nephews, or even your grandchildren. That whole "clique" can be very mean and exclusive! I definitely seek "real" relationships in my life now and avoid that farce.<br /><br />Bethany</p>
<p class="yiv1152451788msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-06-05T20:53:00Z
Fighting in Front of the Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fighting-in-Front-of-the-Kids/-246920828021158500.html
2014-06-05T20:45:00Z
2014-06-05T20:45:00Z
<p class="yiv1152451788msoplaintext"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br />No, I don't think it's ever okay to fight with your spouse in front of the kids. When you fight, your spouse is the enemy, whether or not they intend to be. Far better to work things out rationally. That is not always possible, but anger is not persuasive and is very damaging to the kids. I know. I used to give vent to my anger often. I had my reasons, but they do not matter. All my anger simply made my well-intended, but somewhat lazy husband, withdraw. My anger hurt the kids damaging my relationships with them.<br /><br />Thankfully, I did the very hard work of undoing life-long thought patterns and slowly gained control over my bad habits. I apologized to my family members and much has been restored. My husband recognized his contribution to our troubles and set about stepping up. We actually started taking far better care of each other and like each other again. Funny how that works.<br /></span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1401991611505_8720" class="yiv1926644252MsoPlainText"><span>Dale</span></p>
<p class="yiv1152451788msoplaintext"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1401910794047_11375" class="yiv4953437341msonormal"><span> </span></p>
<p class="yiv1152451788msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-06-05T20:45:00Z
Facebook Secrets
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Facebook-Secrets/-604113456605841194.html
2014-06-04T19:58:00Z
2014-06-04T19:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1152451788msoplaintext"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br />Interestingly last week, I notified my grown kids to send me any pictures they may post as I closed my Facebook account. It consumed time and thought and unlike a great book, or walk, or talk it brought no good to my life. On top of that a relative poached my friends. I closed my account. My kids understand this overzealous posting as in my face. Living alone is great, but Facebook exacerbates the silly notions my life, body and travel schedule is not up to par. My grandmother wrote...'Sin can't be managed, it has to be stopped.' She got that right! Facebook causes the worst type of covetousness. I'm from great stock, a line of beautiful women, and I will not allow Facebook in my thoughts anymore.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1401910794047_11369" class="yiv4953437341msonormal"><span>Thank you for your much needed work in this world!</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1401910794047_11373" class="yiv4953437341msonormal"><span>Ann</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1401910794047_11375" class="yiv4953437341msonormal"><span> </span></p>
<p class="yiv1152451788msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-06-04T19:58:00Z
The Anti-Social Network
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Anti-Social-Network/183810010066827711.html
2014-06-04T19:57:00Z
2014-06-04T19:57:00Z
<p class="yiv1152451788msoplaintext"><br /><br />Hi Dr Laura! <br /><br />Yes, I've had bumps and bruises from my time on social networking and even a few scars. An easy one to share is one I'm sure most have experienced. The social media invitation thing.<br />Good grief! Folks don't seem to want to take the time to send out real invites anymore or even just use the darn phone. The party people are all invited on Facebook!? So if I don't log on every day I might miss out.....that's kept me on way too much. It's sad to miss out on a birthday or party or beach bonfire, but I'm willing to miss out rather than feel the anxiety of 'checking in' constantly. It's like a big group therapy session where no one really gets well, just sicker. <br /><br />I'll keep my Facething account but will never do a group invite. I like a real phone call better than a text message too, but that's another topic. Keep doing what you do Mother Laura! <br /><br />Jo</p>
Staff
2014-06-04T19:57:00Z
Integrity and Personal Responsibility
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Integrity-and-Personal-Responsibility/-275254853556216485.html
2014-05-30T17:58:00Z
2014-05-30T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1152451788msoplaintext"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1401296125069_7783" class="yiv1152451788MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1401296125069_7782">I have no dilemma and can’t imagine ever calling you and here’s why. For years, running has been my primary form of exercise. Back when you were on AM radio, I would run in the evenings while listening to your show. I regularly averaged 40+ miles per week. You have accompanied me on literally thousands of miles of running and I will claim that as a result, I have acquired at least a Master’s Degree in what I call "Laurology". I missed your company for a while there and was so pleased to discover you again on satellite radio. I listen regularly and consider it “continuing education”.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1401296125069_7786" class="yiv1152451788MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1401296125069_7785">I have been married to my “girlfriend” for 30 years. We spend countless hours running or walking together. No TV, no movie, no lousy meal at some restaurant. Just the two of us, each with the other’s undivided attention. We have also completed multiple races, marathons and triathlons together.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1401296125069_7789" class="yiv1152451788MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1401296125069_7788">We are the parents of 2 nauseatingly well-adjusted young adults with never a lick of trouble out of either one of them. Our son is married and in medical school. He’s wired as a family man and will be choosing a type of practice that allows him to spend time with his future children. Our daughter, who has read "10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives" and is totally NOT boy crazy, just completed her undergrad degree and is going on to nursing school. We helped both kids with their undergrad degrees, but they’re on their own dime now. Despite the challenges of growing up with cystic fibrosis, our daughter is doing well. Here’s a bit of insight about her: <strong><a href="http://www.tulsakids.com/May-2009/Running-for-Her-Life/" target="_blank">Running for Her Life</a> </strong></span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1401296125069_7804" class="yiv1152451788MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1401296125069_7803">Your consistent message of integrity and personal responsibility has provided strong threads that are permanently woven into the tapestry of our family. We appreciate what you do and will sometimes say, “That Dr. Laura, now she has some marbles!” You’ve done such a good job of sharing your marbles that, while it would be so nice to chat with you, I’m afraid I won’t be calling. </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1401296125069_7806" class="yiv1152451788MsoPlainText"><span>Jim</span></p>
<p class="yiv1152451788msoplaintext"> </p>
Staff
2014-05-30T17:58:00Z
The Light Went On for My Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Light-Went-On-for-My-Husband/194934378657648278.html
2014-05-30T17:57:00Z
2014-05-30T17:57:00Z
<p class="yiv1152451788msoplaintext"><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I don't get to listen to you very often because of scheduling conflicts; however I listen when I can. So when I went with my husband to the dentist recently, I had you on the radio. He says the calls are depressing stuff so he doesn't like to listen. We compromised and listen one way, and then he listens to what he wants on the way back. <br /><br />You had a woman talking about her sister and how their mother does everything for her sibling and nothing for her. The sister was a "bad seed," but got all the attention of her mom. Well this perked up my ears because it sounded like my husband and his mom. And it perked up his ears too. When you were done explaining that the caller was good and therefore got nothing from her parent because she didn't "need" her mom, I could see the light go on in my husband's head. For years, the poor guy has not been able to figure out why his mom gives him no time. His sister doesn't work, has a house, and needs, needs, needs! So Mama to the rescue! I think his mom resents the fact he doesn't need her. So it is good to be married to the GOOD one! <br /><br />Believe me; I don't have an issue not having mother-in-law in our lives!! Thanks for helping him understand his mother's actions! <br /><br />Jan</p>
Staff
2014-05-30T17:57:00Z
Tough Love Hurts, But There Could Be Worse
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Tough-Love-Hurts,-But-There-Could-Be-Worse/48659511999841198.html
2014-05-29T17:57:00Z
2014-05-29T17:57:00Z
<br />
<p class="yiv8078991472msoplaintext">I must share with you a story of a young friend that I have. She is a military wife and has to really be a strong woman while her husband is deployed for many months at a time. Having two children, one being a son, has proved to be sometimes a hard task. <br /><br />When her son was around 14 years old, he asked to visit a friend for the night. When picking him up, she could tell something was not right with him. He was acting extremely funny. Home from deployment, her husband was driving the car and she told him to go straight to the drug store, they were buying a drug test. <br /><br />The son was grilled about what he took because she was sure he was on something. After the drug test was bought, he finally admitted it was his friend's mother's pills and they were not sure what they were. The husband, being the military man, made him pee where he could watch, so they could determine what it was that he took. My friend said she went crazy!! <br /><br />She started screaming to her husband take his door off his room which he quickly did to try to calm her down. While he was taking the door, she took all his clothes, tv, computer, cell phone, etc. Then she ordered her husband to take the bed, but she left one blanket. Thinking about what else she could take, she then took his toothbrush and comb. She explained to her son. "You want to know how druggies live?? You are going to know how it is." For a month, he only had one change of clothes and one blanket. When watching her son on the floor sleeping she almost caved, but decided she would rather have tough love then a druggy son. <br /><br />I am so proud of her and think she deserves a MOM AWARD! You see this friend told me when she was younger, she never wanted children. Tough love hurts, but losing a child hurts worse. <br /><br />Doylene</p>
Staff
2014-05-29T17:57:00Z
Mistakes Made After a Breakup
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mistakes-Made-After-a-Breakup/784074281492271022.html
2014-05-29T17:56:00Z
2014-05-29T17:56:00Z
<br />
<p class="yiv8078991472msoplaintext">Dr. Laura: <br /><br />Please follow and don't be offended. You have helped so many and deserve all the respect your career has given. People contact you for advice, but I wish to offer you some advice in return. <br /><br />You are a wonderful, brutal, horrifically honest therapist ... thank God for you. When the other pop therapists on the street corner offering lollipops and hard candies you are clear across the street on your own corner slapping people across the face with a cold wet, dead, cod fish ... thank God for you. After the short satisfaction of the candy is gone, no true resolution is accomplished. On the other hand, once being whacked with a fish across the face gets your attention, people "wake up" and finally are tuned in as to how to "do the right thing". <br /><br />I read a popular book a while ago that was more annoying that informative. It was called "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". I kept flipping to the back cover while reading it and saying, "Who is this woman who wrote this damn book? How annoying to read my own personal autobiography!!!" I'm 45 and everything in that book does me no good now because I have already lived it through my failed marriage. "Why the heck couldn't this person author the book 20 years ago so this annoying thing could actually be of some help to me?" Oh, I kid.<br /><br />Thank you for doing what you do. I only wish I did not take the Wile E Coyote path of learning through trial and error of what is right and wrong and would have much preferred to be pre-educated like the Road Runner instead. <br /><br />Burk</p>
Staff
2014-05-29T17:56:00Z
Slapped with a Cold Dead Fish
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Slapped-with-a-Cold-Dead-Fish/-337576252461423601.html
2014-05-28T17:58:00Z
2014-05-28T17:58:00Z
<br />
<p class="yiv8078991472msoplaintext">Dr. Laura: <br /><br />Please follow and don't be offended. You have helped so many and deserve all the respect your career has given. People contact you for advice, but I wish to offer you some advice in return. <br /><br />You are a wonderful, brutal, horrifically honest therapist ... thank God for you. When the other pop therapists on the street corner offering lollipops and hard candies you are clear across the street on your own corner slapping people across the face with a cold wet, dead, cod fish ... thank God for you. After the short satisfaction of the candy is gone, no true resolution is accomplished. On the other hand, once being whacked with a fish across the face gets your attention, people "wake up" and finally are tuned in as to how to "do the right thing". <br /><br />I read a popular book a while ago that was more annoying than informative. It was called "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". I kept flipping to the back cover while reading it and saying, "Who is this woman who wrote this damn book? How annoying to read my own personal autobiography!!!" I'm 45 and everything in that book does me no good now because I have already lived it through my failed marriage. "Why the heck couldn't this person author the book 20 years ago so this annoying thing could actually be of some help to me?" Oh, I kid.<br /><br />Thank you for doing what you do. I only wish I did not take the Wile E Coyote path of learning through trial and error of what is right and wrong and would have much preferred to be pre-educated like the Road Runner instead. <br /><br />Burk</p>
Staff
2014-05-28T17:58:00Z
Teaching Teens Responsibility
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teaching-Teens-Responsibility/902268916867199853.html
2014-05-28T17:57:00Z
2014-05-28T17:57:00Z
<br />
<p class="yiv8078991472msoplaintext">Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />When I was a teen 1980's, I paid for my first car $1300 and had to pay for my own insurance and gas. I was 17 years old and had summer jobs since I was 15. I also worked 3 hours after school in an office as a clerk to pay for gas and have my own spending money. We have required our 16-year-old to help pay for a car. She worked as a life guard last summer and paid us $1,000 towards a $5,000 car. She's not working during school, but will work in the summer again. Most likely we will pay for her insurance and gas. I will require her to pay for some of it based on her earnings. Now a days I think parents pay too much because there are fewer teenage jobs available - some adults have taken those jobs. I also think parents give in and pay for more because that's what everyone else is doing. I wish we could return to a time where we required our teens to pay for more. We are working on it in our household.<br /> <br />Keep up the good work, Dr. Laura! You are my companion at home when I'm cleaning and making dinner. <br /><br />Irma </p>
Staff
2014-05-28T17:57:00Z
Grief and Guilt Are Different
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Grief-and-Guilt-Are-Different/823379487292532476.html
2014-05-27T17:58:00Z
2014-05-27T17:58:00Z
<br />
<p class="yiv8078991472msoplaintext">After years of torment at the hands of my parents, I decided to leave them. I could go on about how they consistently tried to undermine my marriage and lie to and ignore the needs of my children, but that would take me all day. The deal breaker was when my husband had cancer.</p>
<p class="yiv8078991472msoplaintext">When I told my mother he was sick, her reply to me was “How much life insurance do you have on him?” and “When he dies, your dad and I can move in take care of you and the kids.” I knew from past experience they would find any way to move in and manipulate any kind of life insurance from my kids and me. It would be all about them all over again. So we did the unthinkable. We decided to buy a house in a different county and not tell them where we moved so I could care for my husband in peace. It was hard. My husband was very weak and my children were 10, 6, and 2. I was anxious and heartbroken over my decision and racked with fear over what they would do to us when they found out we had left. I felt what I thought was guilt for over a year. But after a year, my heart began to settle down.</p>
<p class="yiv8078991472msoplaintext">My husband’s health got better. The kids were happy that Mommy wasn’t crying and angry all the time. Upon reflection I realized I wasn’t feeling guilt: I was grieving. I grieved I couldn’t have parents who were supportive and helpful. I grieved I couldn’t jump through enough fiery hoops to change who they were. I had my “G” words confused. Grief and guilt are different from each other. Identifying that difference is what made the difference in my outlook.</p>
<p class="yiv8078991472msoplaintext">By the way, my parents did try to hire a private investigator to find me. It took them about a year. Things were not pretty. They got our phone number from my sister and made a lot of threatening calls to us. When they learned that idea wouldn’t work, they gave up and left us alone. It was the hardest and most important decision that we have ever made. But the continual peace in our home was well worth it.</p>
<p class="yiv8078991472msoplaintext">Lori</p>
Staff
2014-05-27T17:58:00Z
Living With an Addict
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Living-With-an-Addict/490661206674001130.html
2014-05-27T17:57:00Z
2014-05-27T17:57:00Z
<br />
<p class="yiv8078991472msoplaintext">The best advice I can give with those living with an addict or one in recovery, (meaning they have substance abuse, but are actively working to stay sober), is this: Take care of yourself first. Find an Al anon or Families Anonymous group and learn how to not enable the addict. Learn that you are powerless over the addict. It's completely up to them to get into recovery. Family can support their efforts, but cannot do it for them. Know what your boundaries are with the addict and stick to it. Find serenity and work the 12 steps for yourself. Pray and find others in the Anon groups that can initially help you. Your addict is never out of the woods with this disease. Understand that while today may be good, tomorrow may not be. Learn to accept this.</p>
<p class="yiv8078991472msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv8078991472msoplaintext">Linda</p>
<br />
Staff
2014-05-27T17:57:00Z
Habit Reversal Training
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Habit-Reversal-Training/-381453419551747192.html
2014-05-23T17:58:00Z
2014-05-23T17:58:00Z
<p class="yiv8078991472msoplaintext">I was listening to you discuss Habit Reversal Training (HRT) with a caller who had trichotillomania and was reminded of a method I used to finally, finally quit smoking that I wanted to share.</p>
<p class="yiv8078991472msoplaintext">First, I had to admit to myself that it wasn't working on my own and I needed help. So I went to the doctor and got a prescription that could help; I picked a date to quit down the road and I got this quit-smoking app for my phone. This app instructed me to push a button in the application whenever I had a craving or whenever I actually smoked a cigarette according to my smoking schedule, as well as, if I smoked one outside of my established schedule. The app gradually stepped me down in the number of cigarettes I smoked per day based on the date I had picked to completely quit. The app did all of the math for me and tracked everything I did to reach my goal. The Habit Reversal Training aspect was that instead of grabbing a cigarette when I had the habitual impulse to light up, I was instructed to open up the app and hit a button whenever I had a craving for the record. The app would distract me with and assignment to go do something or call someone, or do push-ups or it gave me words of encouragement or showed me a gross picture of what the lungs of a smoker look like but then it also reminded me that I can smoke, but just a little bit later according to my schedule which was already gradually stepping me down to zero smokes per day in the distant future. And that is just exactly what it did.</p>
<p class="yiv8078991472msoplaintext">It completely illustrated the journey with graphs and charts of cigarettes smoked and not smoked and cravings in between since I began the program. Now 136 days past my quit date as a non-smoker, and at a savings of over 900 dollars, it still tracks my cravings and plots them on a chart for me to see. I'm still monitoring my progress as my cravings become fewer and farther apart. I can see now that I have, on average, only about one craving every week and a half, and since I don't have any cigarettes lying around the house and the craving passes in a few seconds now, I don't smoke. But I do still hit the "I have a craving" button in my app, on the impulse I have to grab a cigarette. I started a savings account that automatically deducts the cost of a pack of cigarettes every day from my checking account and am planning a fabulous adventure vacation for myself this summer. With all the extra energy, I joined Crossfit and am doing, looking, and feeling spectacular. Just wanted to share Dr. Laura.</p>
<p class="yiv8078991472msoplaintext">Thanks for doing what you do.</p>
<p class="yiv8078991472msoplaintext">Tadeu</p>
Staff
2014-05-23T17:58:00Z
Surviving Hard Times in Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Surviving-Hard-Times-in-Marriage/719196355455777747.html
2014-05-23T17:57:00Z
2014-05-23T17:57:00Z
<br />
<p class="yiv8078991472msoplaintext">In 45 years of marriage, we've had a lot of ups and downs. I read Donald O'Connor's answer to the question, "How does a Hollywood marriage survive all these years? He was married around 45 years, said, "I always decide to stay for just two more weeks." I have found in 45 years of marriage, day-to-day life problems usually work out in about two weeks, but if the issue goes longer than that, you might need help. When you are angry and discouraged, two more weeks feels more doable than forever. It gives you time to think, to ponder life with or without your mate, and to not feel trapped. You really can leave, but you've given yourself the freedom of choice without taking the action. And I always tell myself to remember the vows we took, and seriously think what they mean - not meant - as the vows are a daily living reminder.</p>
<p class="yiv8078991472msoplaintext">But sometimes I could just smack the heck out of him!!</p>
<p class="yiv8078991472msoplaintext">Joan</p>
Staff
2014-05-23T17:57:00Z
Moms as Attorneys
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Moms-as-Attorneys/-647114849286409124.html
2014-05-22T17:58:00Z
2014-05-22T17:58:00Z
<br />
<p class="yiv8078991472msoplaintext">Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv8078991472msoplaintext">As a 29-year-old, female, single attorney with no kids, I stumbled across this article on a popular legal blog... and found it very disturbing: <a href="http://abovethelaw.com/2014/05/biglaw-partner-begs-associates-not-to-quit-because-of-their-kids/" target="_blank">Biglaw Partner Begs Associates Not To Quit Because Of Their Kids</a></p>
<p class="yiv8078991472msoplaintext">Apparently the advice "seasoned" female attorneys at large law firms are giving young mothers who work with them is this: just because it's hard to be an attorney AND a mom... DON'T QUIT! Just gut it out! We all did it! Just wait it out - the kids get older, and life gets easier, because they can start feeding themselves and wiping their own butts! So, instead of having to wake up super early to throw them in day care on the way to the office, you can sleep in a bit more and go to work because the kids can cook themselves breakfast and get themselves to school. Therefore, the time demands on YOUR schedule will diminish! And YOU will have more time to work, go to cocktail parties, and schmooze big clients! Sigh.</p>
<p class="yiv8078991472msoplaintext">The selfishness evident in this article is amazing and disturbing. As an attorney, I know the incredible demands this career makes on your time, especially if you work at a large, corporate law firm. If you were to attempt to work full-time at a large law firm, there is no way you could have any sort of meaningful involvement in your children's lives. And no, I do not count the trip from home to day care as "meaningful involvement". I almost wanted to cry when the author referred to the Dora the Explorer sticker stuck to the haggard mother's lapel as a sort of badge of honor for women who "do it all". All I could think about was the poor little kid who was left in her dust. Well, she is "doing it all", right? That probably makes it ok.... Wrong. Maybe the little kid stuck a sticker to her in an attempt to remind her that he existed.</p>
<p class="yiv8078991472msoplaintext">Katie</p>
<br />
Staff
2014-05-22T17:58:00Z
Handling Hubby Who Procrastinates Doing Chores
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Handling-Hubby-Who-Procrastinates-Doing-Chores/-984811315849969322.html
2014-05-22T17:57:00Z
2014-05-22T17:57:00Z
<br />My husband got me a garage door opener for Christmas several years ago. I have Rheumatoid Arthritis and Muscular Sclerosis and was really struggling with the door, but I did not complain about it. He tried to make sure the door was opened and closed when I needed it. After waiting two years, I re-gifted it to him. This only got him to laugh and re-promise to install it. I gave him a few months, then hired a handy man to get the chore done. I think he was relieved and had the handyman do several other chores he had been putting off. The nice thing is nobody got mad and I can now press a button to get the car in and out of the garage.
<p class="yiv8078991472msoplaintext">Mary</p>
<br />
Staff
2014-05-22T17:57:00Z
Women as Primary Breadwinner
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Women-as-Primary-Breadwinner/-431379257799865341.html
2014-05-21T17:58:00Z
2014-05-21T17:58:00Z
<br />I think it can be harmful to the family dynamic when the woman is the primary breadwinner. My salary is much higher than my husband's, so we have experienced this firsthand. When my son was three months old, I had to go back to work full-time, and my husband was our son's primary caregiver. He then worked part-time on my days off. He is a wonderful father, and I was thankful I didn't have to leave my son in day care, but it still broke my heart to be away from him so much. I'm sure my husband felt guilty he couldn't support us, and it probably affected his self-esteem and self-confidence. <br /><br />Thankfully, a few years later, we were able to reverse our roles. Now my husband works full-time and I work part-time opposite his schedule. People think we're crazy because our lifestyle would be so different if I were the one working full-time, but the financial sacrifice is well worth the benefits we gain from being able to fulfill the roles we feel called to.<br /><br />Claire<br />
Staff
2014-05-21T17:58:00Z
No More to Being the Breadwinner
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-More-to-Being-the-Breadwinner/-869995346058915346.html
2014-05-21T17:57:00Z
2014-05-21T17:57:00Z
<br />I believe when the woman is the primary bread-winner, it takes the "wind out of the sails" of the male partner. I was always the bread-winner, and my husband told me I couldn't quit. I wanted to be a homemaker, but we "could not afford it." So that was that. <br /> <br />I just retired last week after 35+ years of working; I am tired, maybe a little resentful, but definitely I quit at the time when I said to myself, NO MORE! I don't care if we become poverty stricken! My husband is still working at a measly $10/hr job, and since "we needed the money" these last years, I was forced to choose a poor retirement plan at the job. However, I don't care anymore if my retirement pension is only 50% of my usual pay. To me, as long as the husband keeps working, it will suffice. I also saved money in a 401K to fall back on. Now I am happy because I am RETIRED! The husband never had the gumption to do better. <br /> <br />Isabel<br />
Staff
2014-05-21T17:57:00Z
Taking Responsibility for My Choices Changed My Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-Responsibility-for-My-Choices-Changed-My-Life/516830840264286216.html
2014-05-20T17:33:00Z
2014-05-20T17:33:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura,<br /> <br />Despite being very good at choosing great platonic friends, my early dating life was full of mistakes and poor choices in men - typically aloof, self-centered, sometimes cruel "men". Ah-Dad-choo!! One day a great friend gave me a copy of your book, "Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess up Their Lives". It almost could have been a biography of my life to that date and an alarm bell went off in my brain.<br /> <br />At the same time, my friend/your groupie, told me about your radio program. At first, frankly, I did not care for you at all! In fact, I downright bristled at some of the advice you gave to all those misguided callers! I think because it cut close to the bone, for me. However, my inner, rational voice also took notice and I thought long and hard about what you were telling us listeners. My personal life was not evolving the way I wished it to be and I strongly suspected it had something to do with my own personal choices and responsibility. I made a conscious decision to literally force myself to date a "nice" man. It was almost as if I couldn't cope with being treated with decency and respect.<br /> <br />Fast forward 15 years - picture that wavy screen like they used to do on old TV shows! - My life has not been what I thought it would be. We could not have children biologically because I have spent several years fighting cancer. Yet, I am very honest when I tell you how absolutely blessed I have been in my life - mainly because I have an amazing, strong, loving man by my side. He sincerely took the "for better and for worse" vows to heart. Every day is a great day with my best friend/lover/better half. I am a lucky, lucky girl. I listen to your callers complain about their partners treating them badly and I feel sorry for them, but I also think lots of people don't want to take responsibility for making their lives good, even when the going isn't tough. God help them when things really go wrong.<br /> <br />My fight with cancer continues. Tomorrow we get news on my latest scans and we already know there is some potentially bad news awaiting us, but we will get through it together. I've made a success of my life despite what some of it looks like on paper health-wise and you were a voice of reason when I was unwilling to be honest with myself. I did the hard work, but you helped nudge me in the right direction. And for that I sincerely thank you.<br /> <br />Warm regards,<br /> <br />Megan<br /><br />
Staff
2014-05-20T17:33:00Z
This Guy Thought Stay-At-Home Moms Did Nothing All Day
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/This-Guy-Thought-Stay-At-Home-Moms-Did-Nothing-All-Day/555338495658064312.html
2014-05-20T17:20:00Z
2014-05-20T17:20:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura...<br /> <br />I saw this article and thought you would LOVE it! Enjoy! Thank you for all that you do. - Taura<br /> <br />Daddy Fishkins realized something in the recent past that so many people will never understand: the life of a stay-at-home mom. He, like many others, thought it was a life of leisure and essentially doing whatever you want. That is, until he experienced it for himself:<br />
<blockquote>I owe an apology to women everywhere. Specifically, to stay at home moms. I used to be like a lot of men who have this notion that mothers who stay home with the kids all day are either not pulling their weight, or are just sitting around doing nothing the entire day. In the past, I would often get agitated with my wife when certain things around the house didn't get done by the time I got home from work. I was guilty of thinking more than once that "it must be nice to sit around all day and watch TV". <br /><br />How wrong was I? Dead wrong. <br /><br />Read the rest of the article: <a href="http://www.viralnova.com/apology-to-moms/" target="_blank">This Guy Thought Stay-At-Home Moms Did Nothing All Day. And Then THIS Happened</a></blockquote>
Staff
2014-05-20T17:20:00Z
Provocative Children's Clothing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Provocative-Childrens-Clothing/936454139801224604.html
2014-05-19T17:58:00Z
2014-05-19T17:58:00Z
<br />
<p class="yiv1799934354msoplaintext">I was browsing the girls section of a local sporting goods store with my two children my daughter 5 and son 2, when I ran across this scantily dressed, dare I say, 7 year old. Smiling happily with her mid-drift exposed, wearing merely tight short-shorts and sports bra, she seemed perfectly prepared to play volleyball? As I stood there, my bewilderment turning to outrage, an employee walked by and asked if everything was okay. My reply: I don't think so. Though he agreed it was inappropriate and even a little creepy, he said he couldn't do anything. I, of course, asked for the manager. A woman about my own age, a mother herself, admitted she didn't like it, but apparently she was obligated to put it up, "We can't just throw it away." Rather than lecture her on how her inaction was condoning such a scandalous image I decided to simply do the right thing. "You can't display it if it doesn't exist," I said as I removed the sign from the holder and ripped it in half. I placed the now ruined sign in her hand and she replied, "Better you than me."</p>
<p class="yiv1799934354msoplaintext">I'm not sure at what point adults let objectification of young girls become an "okay" thing. We wonder why girls get pregnant at 13. Why pedophiles feel their thoughts and behaviors are natural. Why young girls have body image issues. Why girls in athletics aren't valued as much a boys. Adults let this be okay, even the women who had to be involved somewhere in the process: an employee or executive at New Balance, a designer, a secretary, the models mother, a photographer, a stylist, the merchandisers at the sporting goods retailer, a store manager, et al! Nobody said, "NO!" How such an image got this far I cannot comprehend, but I will not let it be okay. I will make my angry phone calls and send my letters. I will rip every sign and advertisement I see. But I will not let it be okay. At some point as adults, and parents, we need to stop being complacent. These are our children, our future--someone has to say no. And if I'm the only one willing to put my foot down, so be it.</p>
<p class="yiv1799934354msoplaintext">Kimberly</p>
<img src="/images/blog/051914_new_balance.jpg" alt="" /><br />
Staff
2014-05-19T17:58:00Z
How Addicts Have Affected My Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Addicts-Have-Affected-My-Life/-72372478988828718.html
2014-05-19T17:57:00Z
2014-05-19T17:57:00Z
<br />Hello.
<p class="yiv1799934354msoplaintext">I have had several addicts in my life. I grew up with an alcoholic mother. I was an exchange student with an alcoholic host father. I had an alcoholic older brother and an alcoholic older brother-in-law. Statistically, it is not surprising that I married a man who, after we married and had two young children, I discovered also suffered from alcoholism.</p>
<p class="yiv1799934354msoplaintext">The reason I am writing, is that all of these people are now sober and have been for years. It is really remarkable, and due to hard work and choices they made. So often the stories end tragically. All of these could have. I am not saying that these addicts did not negatively impact my life. They all did in a major way. I will not describe that here, since I choose to focus instead on the fact they are inspirational having transformed their lives. I am very grateful to my husband, especially, that he treated his disease before our children ever were aware of it or suffered ill effects from it. It took me a long time to be able to forgive him for the breaches of trust he made while drinking, but the more I focus on how amazing his transformation has been and how much effort that took, the more I admire and love him.</p>
<p class="yiv1799934354msoplaintext">I hope everyone knows that addiction does not have to be a terminal illness. Addiction is not hopeless, but it does require the addict to not only want to change, but endure the hard work and discomfort it takes to change. They also need to know that as long as the addict is being enabled, they will not change. The loved ones of the addict have to recognize they are part of the solution, but not likely in the way they think. Letting go and allowing consequences to be suffered are often the best thing a person can do for an addict. I know that any one of them can relapse at any time, so I am very attentive to that. Although living with these people while they were drinking was awful and destructive, I celebrate the fact that they are now sober and we all survived. And as a result, I learned so much about myself and others. I see the genes that predispose one to become an addict are not under our control, but the cure to the disease really is. I am grateful to each of these people for the choice they made.</p>
<p class="yiv1799934354msoplaintext">Thank you for all you do.</p>
<p class="yiv1799934354msoplaintext">Christina</p>
Staff
2014-05-19T17:57:00Z
Drinking at School Dances
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Drinking-at-School-Dances/457671744457255212.html
2014-05-16T17:58:00Z
2014-05-16T17:58:00Z
<br />Hi, Dr. Laura... <br /><br />After your discussion with a mother and daughter regarding driving to the daughter's junior prom and your statement, "They WILL be drinking", I thought you might like to see an email I JUST got from my daughter's parochial school regarding their prom next week. <br />
<blockquote>PROM Procedures for students attending: We believe in keeping our students safety as a priority and will conduct Breathalyzer testing throughout the evening to help ensure a safe environment • Any student refusing the test or failing the test will be removed from Prom, detained and their parents will be contacted for pick up • Students must arrive by 9:00pm and will not be allowed to leave until 11:00pm Our school does not sanction before and after Prom parties/activities.</blockquote>
<br />These new procedures were put in place after this year's homecoming dance, where a group of kids actually smuggled in booze and was trying to 'spike the punch'. Three of the six were already so drunk they reeked of it, one admitted to having a beer; the last two denied drinking and passed the Breathalyzer tests. Two kids were expelled, the third was not invited back for second semester, the fourth was suspended for a week and the two were suspended for two days for being with the drunken kids. None of the parents complained. <br /><br />Michelle<br />
Staff
2014-05-16T17:58:00Z
Throughout Life, You Make Choices
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Throughout-Life,-You-Make-Choices/-793726932889887547.html
2014-05-16T17:57:00Z
2014-05-16T17:57:00Z
<br />
<p class="yiv8382700112msoplaintext">Dear Mother Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv8382700112msoplaintext">I was one born in hell. I was conceived by two evil people in order to do whatever criminal plans they considered, but I can confirm that you are right to say that no matter how bad a situation was in our childhood, we still have a choice of what to do with what is. Even as a child, I made my choice: I considered school as my main ticket out. I was a fighter and chose to use my intelligence to save me and to make it out of there. They robbed me of everything they could, except of my soul, which of course no one can just simply take. For a long time, I was in a survival mode, but I got out. First, to university and then with my license in hand, I left my home country and started from zero. But all the unhealthy familiarity and the lack of knowing how to deal with a normal life almost got me off track. It took me many years to get rid of all my baggage and reconstruct myself. I became my own architect and I love to be alive more and more. I was still in my hole in 2009 when your guidance began to make me feel like a safe, normal person. You refocused the light on that path I was trying keep, but with the years gone by, it had become less visible.</p>
<p class="yiv8382700112msoplaintext">So I thank you for making my life an easier journey, but especially a meaningful one. Thank you for being the mom I never had. Thank you for your love and thank you for your fight for good, justice and the right thing to do. Thank you for helping me saving the child I was.</p>
<p class="yiv8382700112msoplaintext">God bless you,</p>
<p class="yiv8382700112msoplaintext">Liliana</p>
<br />
Staff
2014-05-16T17:57:00Z
I Want Mommy to Love Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Want-Mommy-to-Love-Me/-256489447986570820.html
2014-05-15T17:59:00Z
2014-05-15T17:59:00Z
<br />
<p class="yiv7136547035msoplaintext">Hi, Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv7136547035msoplaintext">My wife began a downward slide after her mom was diagnosed with COPD and was given 24-36 months to live. At that point my wife began trying to fulfill her lifelong dream of "getting Mommy to love me" and even more importantly, that "Mommy love me more than all my other brothers and sister".</p>
<p class="yiv7136547035msoplaintext">My now deceased mother-in-law was a bad person who could complain about anything and ANYBODY. She once told me that despite the fact I "was a great husband to her daughter, a good provider, a wonderful father to her grandson and an active and helpful member of our church, she had BIG problems with me". I asked her, "Well, what else is there?" And she just swore at me and told me to shut up.</p>
<p class="yiv7136547035msoplaintext">My wife always felt she was the problem, not her mother: "Mommy is perfect, obviously the big problem is ME." Nothing I could say could get her to look at the situation from a different point of view. She slowly began to despise me and our 15-year-old son for just existing. We tried to ride out the storm and get her help, but to no avail. She attempted suicide on Valentine's Day of 2013. It wasn't a cry for help: 60 Percocet, 200 Advil, 60 OxyContin and a bottle of rum. Fortunately while passing out she pocket dialed a friend who alerted me and my son who were out for the afternoon helping a wheelchair-bound friend get some errands done. 911 was called and there was a six hour wait where the doctors didn't know if she would make it or not. Fortunately she did. She was admitted to 'psych' and upon release found a great therapist who has helped her immensely. My wife has worked hard to become the person she used to be and is pretty much there again.</p>
<p class="yiv7136547035msoplaintext">My point of this email is to say the callers who have had moms like this have helped me immensely. I've learned this situation is more common than I thought and I wasn't on an island. Your words of reason and comfort have helped me to see my wife in a different light and to help her see herself as others see her: a kind, funny, compassionate, person who everybody likes to be around. To all others out there, don't give up on your spouse who is going through this. Once they realize the real problem, the breakthrough will be made, in my case it was a Niagara Falls type. Then things get better.....slowly.</p>
<p class="yiv7136547035msoplaintext">Jim</p>
<br />
Staff
2014-05-15T17:59:00Z
Tucking Your Kids In
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Tucking-Your-Kids-In/109895504449496286.html
2014-05-15T17:58:00Z
2014-05-15T17:58:00Z
<br />
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1400092992023_47810" class="yiv7136547035MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1400092992023_47809" style="font-size: 10.0pt;">I just read your blog, "<a href="/b/Why-Its-Important-to-Eat-with-Your-Kids/979330668994534315.html">Why It's Important to Eat with Your Kids</a>". Our kids are now almost 15 and 12. We have always had dinner at the table with no TV. I was writing about the last two paragraphs of your blog. Since the kids were born, I've tucked them in to bed and said prayers with them each night. My husband's schedule is crazy and he's not always home. Since my daughter is finishing her freshman year and my son his 6th grade year, I asked them if they were "too old" to be tucked in. They both insisted that they "certainly were not too old." They said it was the way they ended their day. That's our last couple minutes of catching up with stuff they forgot about before ending the day. Sometimes, it's signing a last minute field trip or remembering a funny story. Sometimes, it's an apology about bad behavior. It's like the "P.S." of the day. </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1400092992023_47813" class="yiv7136547035MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1400092992023_50265" style="font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1400092992023_47815" class="yiv7136547035MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1400092992023_50157" style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Thank you for what you do! </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1400092992023_47817" class="yiv7136547035MsoPlainText"><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1400092992023_47861" class="yiv7136547035MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1400092992023_50263" style="font-size: 10.0pt;">Tammy</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1400092992023_47859" class="yiv7136547035MsoPlainText"><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"> <br /></span></p>
Staff
2014-05-15T17:58:00Z
Life with an Addict
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Life-with-an-Addict/892473870549184337.html
2014-05-14T17:59:00Z
2014-05-14T17:59:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /> <br />I have been a loyal listener for over 20 years and your wisdom and experience has influenced my decisions and choices. Some choices have been sensible, but many early adult decisions were dumb, misguided and negatively impacted me. As is often said, hindsight is 20/20 and I wish I could have changed the trajectory of my life. <br /> <br />My first serious relationship was with an addict, allegedly in recovery. I believed I could change, fix and make him into the man I KNEW and BELIEVED he could AND SHOULD be! Wow, did I think I was powerful! One year led to two, then three, four and five, until he had lost 100 pounds and gained recovery through AA. I believed he had 'changed' and I felt ready to make a commitment. The emotional roller coaster of our relationship was what I was used to. My alcoholic upbringing had made me an adrenaline addict myself and the chaos felt familiar and safe. I didn't believe I deserved better and was not secure enough with myself to walk away. <br /> <br />One child led to two then three and my role as a stay-at-home mother was my focus and my outlet while my husband struggled with anger, frustration, irritation and just a general lack of intimacy with me. I put blinders on to his defects of character and went to therapy to figure out what was wrong with me. Not a single therapist suggested Al-Anon nor did they suggest I address his non-recovery behavior. I couldn't or didn't want to face the fact my husband was not sober and getting worse. He admitted stealing our children's medication and was active in his eating disorder. His first treatment exasperated his eating disorder and his second treatment was 4 months out of state where we ultimately joined him and I got treatment for co-dependency. He struggled, misrepresented his recovery and failed to get honest. <br /> <br />We separated in 2010 with the intention of divorcing. I had reached the end of my roller coaster ride and believed that I had to jump off to save myself and my children. While separated, we parented together, supported each other and vowed to be respectful and put our kids first. We switched homes on the weekends so as not to uproot the kids. <br /> <br />My husband died in November of 2012 from the toll the substances took on his body. <br /> <br />I want the next chapter of my life to be about launching my children and getting to know who I am and what I want. I know what I don't want and can't have in my life. I'll let others fix themselves and I'll work on me. <br /> <br />L. <br /><br />
Staff
2014-05-14T17:59:00Z
The Small Things Are Remembered
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Small-Things-Are-Remembered/865510195525707862.html
2014-05-14T17:58:00Z
2014-05-14T17:58:00Z
<br />I guess after years of battling with my daughter about the little stuff: messy bedroom, etc., she does appreciate me after all. I received the following text on Mother's Day which was followed up by a real phone conversation, which made my day. I wanted to share this with you because you are part of the reason why I am my kids' mom! Thanks for your tough love and thoughtful advice! - Laura<br />
<blockquote>Dear Mom, Thank you for reading to me when I was little. Thank you for the ballet lessons and flute lessons and swimming lessons and piano lessons. Thank you for showing up to every play and performance for me and Jr.. Thank you for going to every PTSA meeting at my schools. Thank you for buying me my favorite soup when I was sick and wrapping me up like a burrito when I was cold. Thank you for letting me sleep in your bed when I was scared. Thank you for staying up and helping me with homework and letting me use your car to practice driving. Thank you for keeping the card I made you in preschool and keeping it on the refrigerator. Thank you for driving around with a Cal Poly Pomona sticker on your car. Thank you for all the small things you've done. I love you, Mommy. Happy Mother's Day.</blockquote>
<br />
Staff
2014-05-14T17:58:00Z
After You Cheat, How Many Strikes Before You're Out
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/After-You-Cheat,-How-Many-Strikes-Before-Youre-Out/-132818822898411849.html
2014-05-13T17:35:00Z
2014-05-13T17:35:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Sadly, I have had several family and friends who have gone through an ordeal with a cheating spouse. I was always a one-strike-and-you're-out person regarding cheating until I matured more in both experience and my marriage. I felt I could never forgive someone who slept with another man after giving her all to me. I now believe there are times when you should not divorce, but forgive and move ahead. <br /><br />In one instance, after my longtime friend's wife came to me saying she and my friend were no longer close and wanted me to intervene, I found it was already too late. When each told me their side, I was surprised to find out that for three years they had been basically loveless and avoided each other to the point of waiting until one or the other went to bed before coming home from work. Here it was a matter of time. Though she did start to read your book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" without his knowledge and he did see changes when he came home after work, it was already too late as he had stepped over the line. I strongly felt if they solved the issues which had torn apart their 20 year marriage, especially in light of 3 children, that she could forgive him and they could flourish again. Instead, she stopped reading your book, vehemently rejected it, and used his overstep to do away with her ties to him. It was clear she was angry and had no remorse over the loss of 20 years or the impact on her kids. It was an easy out of a marriage she had abandoned years ago. <br /><br />The one strike rule is for the promiscuous wife or philandering husband. If they cheated while dating, then marry believing thought it would stop with marriage or kids, but cheat again - they should be dumped. In this case, I see no reason for the person to stay with them as they will do it again and are not really sorry for doing it. I am amazed at how many spouses want to hold on to these marriages. Yet for those who fell into temptation because their marriages had died, they are ready to give up on! <br /><br />My own conclusion is always try to reconcile for the grass is not greener on the other side.<br />Like we were told on the playground after a fight, where both pointed to the other for<br />starting it, it takes two! <br /><br />David<br /><br />
Staff
2014-05-13T17:35:00Z
Military School
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Military-School/-31866757980785189.html
2014-05-13T17:20:00Z
2014-05-13T17:20:00Z
<br />I was very uplifted and touched by your discussion of military schools as an alternative to the public school system. Our youngest is 13 years old and is in his second year of military school. My husband and I agree this is one of the best decisions we've ever made. This boy came into the world with more "zest for life" than I've ever witnessed and is thriving in this environment like you wouldn't believe! Well, YOU would believe it. I had no real knowledge of military schools, previous to this, but, in hind sight, I would have sent my older two children had I known the tremendous positive impact it can have. <br /><br />My son was moved up a grade in math and has just received "blue beret" status, which identifies him as having one of the top three GPA's in middle school. He's always been smart (part of his issue), but the change in attitude, accountability and maturity have been astounding. The young men on campus are so dignified and respectful toward the parents. I can't walk on the grounds without a cadet asking if I need assistance or they can help carry something. I am continually moved by the compassion they have developed for each other and the community. <br /><br />The best parenting is usually the hardest. Doing the right thing for our boy was, at first, the hardest thing we've ever had to do. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Sandi<br />My cadet's mom <br />
Staff
2014-05-13T17:20:00Z
Cheating Brings Misery to All
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cheating-Brings-Misery-to-All/-144534038094013213.html
2014-05-12T17:57:00Z
2014-05-12T17:57:00Z
<br />My brother-in-law (my husband's sister's husband) cheated on her when he was deployed overseas in the Navy. After the initial shock and blow-up, she decided she would forgive him and they would reconcile because they had two young kids. Now, four years later, they are going through the most awful, nasty divorce because he cheated a second time. Turns out, she had slept with him twice in an entire year when he first cheated. After she "forgave" him, she continually brought up the infidelity on a daily basis. He had to give her all of his passwords. She checked everything on a daily basis. She was not nice or kind to him ever. She made his life miserable. She is not innocent by any means. <br /><br />I know enough about caring and feeding for one's husband that you don't withhold sex for two years and not expect there to be consequences. Also, you don't tell someone you forgive them and torture them on a daily basis. That's not forgiveness. In this case, the children are suffering terribly. One of them has pulled all of their eyebrows out and pulled their hair until there is a bald spot. The other one bangs their head against the wall when they change houses each week. <br /><br />When we took our marriage vows, we were never told it would be easy. Sometimes, you don't always "love" each other. This is the person you decided to marry and have children with. The kids didn't pick you for parents, you picked the one you wanted to be their parent. Sometimes, there are causes for divorce that can't be avoided. I believe you should try to rise above all of the hate that you feel and love the innocent caught in the middle. Decisions should be made with their best interests in mind, not yours. <br /><br />Tammy<br /><br />BTW - I have been taught to 'properly care and feed my husband'. He may have complaints at times; however, the good far outweighs the bad. Also, I am 'my kids' mom' and when you see my 14 and 12-year-olds around those who grew up in day care, you can tell the difference!!<br />
Staff
2014-05-12T17:57:00Z
Honoring is Not Being Submissive and Weak
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Honoring-is-Not-Being-Submissive-and-Weak/727973777331762810.html
2014-05-12T17:56:00Z
2014-05-12T17:56:00Z
<br />I am my kids' mom and my husband's girlfriend. I have been married for 16 years and have two teenage daughters. Although I was raised by feminist parents, I chose to live differently. I have been a stay-at-home mom for both of my girls' lives and will continue to do so until my youngest heads to college. <br /><br />I praise my husband for things he does. I surprise him with notes in his car and cute texts during the day. I let him know he is my #1 after God. Too many people think that for a wife to honor her husband, she must be submissive and weak. That isn't true at all! My voice is always heard and my opinion always considered. What "those people" don't understand is that while I do honor and serve my husband, he works hard and would give me anything in the world within the budget...haha. <br /><br />So, thank you, Dr. Laura for showing people women can be strong, nurturing, loving and funny. <br /><br />*fist bump* <br /><br />Jennifer <br />
Staff
2014-05-12T17:56:00Z
Social Media Indiscretions
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Social-Media-Indiscretions/710348069636745833.html
2014-05-09T17:58:00Z
2014-05-09T17:58:00Z
<br />When I first got onto Facebook, it was a thrill to connect with old classmates, family and friends. After 6 months, I found this was an easy way to make terrible decisions. <br /><br />I connected with many old friends - male and female alike: One of whom was a male friend from ELEMENTARY school. He was not a boyfriend - never dated - never even held hands. Within 2 months, we found ourselves being accused of starting an affair both in person and over Facebook by his wife. Both my friend and I were appalled by this accusation. There was nothing ever written between the two of us that could not be shared with his entire family. I thought it was my non-married status that prompted her distrust or perhaps something in their past which colored our innocent communications. So, I simply closed my account. I also emailed both the male friend and his wife and succinctly told them I was not interested in any type of extra-marital affair with her husband or any other married man. <br /><br />After being off of Facebook for 6 months, I received a telephone call to my published home phone#. My elementary classmate was calling to apologize and let me know that it was his wife who was in the wrong - SHE had been communicating with an old boyfriend. They have since gone into counseling. I have not spoken with either since that telephone call to apologize. I am not on Facebook and have zero plans to EVER have anything to do with social media. Even in innocence, things go wrong. I cannot imagine the temptations others' face and succumb to most readily. Today's social media networks give ease to cheating, fooling around, you name it - it is available. <br /><br />Thank you for your time. <br /><br />Sincere regards, <br /><br />Toni <br />
Staff
2014-05-09T17:58:00Z
Dog Balls
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dog-Balls/352288829052879023.html
2014-05-09T17:57:00Z
2014-05-09T17:57:00Z
<br />When my three children were small, their father (my husband) would travel with his company: Ralston Purina. For a treat, I would always take them to dinner at a local seafood restaurant they LOVED! I found out how much when my four-year-old redheaded munchkin son said he wanted to 'eat some dog balls' for dinner. I was confused. Upon going to the seafood restaurant and sitting down with their equivalent of seafood 'Happy Meal', he immediately pulled out a HUSH PUPPY and with a huge toothless grin announced, "See, Mommy? DOG BALLS!!!" <br /><br />A precious memory among many for me. <br /><br />Roberta <br />
Staff
2014-05-09T17:57:00Z
Ready for Inspection
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ready-for-Inspection/178707247214903754.html
2014-05-08T17:58:00Z
2014-05-08T17:58:00Z
<br />I read the letter, "<a href="/b/Adequately-Prepared,-But-Not-Ready.../-248231257468180212.html">Adequately Prepared, But Not Ready...</a>" and it reminded me of words spoken by one of my drill instructors in the army. He approached one of the men during inspection who reported, "Ready for inspection." The drill instructor replied, "You are prepared for inspection, but never ready." All of the instructions we shall ever receive in this life can never fully make us ready for anything. Instruction is good and desirable, and if applied, will go a long way in helping us cope with the things we face, but we must still go through that thing called experience. <br /><br />Ronald<br />
Staff
2014-05-08T17:58:00Z
Just Be There for Her
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Just-Be-There-for-Her/-68131639757790700.html
2014-05-08T17:57:00Z
2014-05-08T17:57:00Z
<br />
<p>Regarding your video this week, "<a href="/b/Video:-On-Mothers-Day,-Be-There-for-Her/-176645961301200124.html">On Mother's Day, Be There for Her</a>" may I add "Especially When She's in Her 80s". </p>
<p>I learned something from a mother/grandmother and soon-to-be great-grandmother this week. I volunteer with her for the homeless and she was sharing her Mother's Day plans. She was so excited she was going to get what she asked for. She asked her children and grandchildren to please help her with much needed chores at her house: gardening, spring cleaning, organization and more. They all said "YES!" She is so happy they'll all be there together in her home.</p>
<p>Thank you for giving all us "moms" and "moms-to-be" a much needed daily reality jolt. You are incredible. Happy Mothers Day to you, Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>Much gratitude and love being sent your way ALWAYS...</p>
<p>Angela</p>
Staff
2014-05-08T17:57:00Z
Selective About Who We Serve
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Selective-About-Who-We-Serve/-811950873733075000.html
2014-05-07T17:58:00Z
2014-05-07T17:58:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura! <br /><br />My husband and I own and run a small online company that serves customers in all 50 states. About once a month, we have a new customer who will make a purchase online, and then they burn up our phone line or e-mail address venting, ranting, name calling, etc. We do not tolerate customers who call us or our employees vile names or who simply call or e-mail acting as if they want assistance, when they really just want to use us as a receptacle in which to dump their emotional trash. <br /><br />When we receive these e-mails/phone calls, we respond by calmly telling them we do not tolerate belligerence against our employees and we are selective about who we serve. We also say we are more than happy to refund their money so they can find another company willing to tolerate their behavior, but they are banned from ever making a purchase from our website again. The response we receive from the customer is usually complete shock. They are incredulous and can't believe someone is actually standing up to them. A few have apologized, and some of them have gone to disreputable Internet sites like "Rip-Off Report.com" to vent and tell lies about our company. The remaining ones I am sincerely hoping have "reformed" after having someone point out their horrid behavior so other companies don't have to deal with them in the future. <br /><br />Crystal<br />
Staff
2014-05-07T17:58:00Z
Customers Are NOT Always Right!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Customers-Are-NOT-Always-Right!/503501625674088276.html
2014-05-07T17:57:00Z
2014-05-07T17:57:00Z
<br />I have had 3 customer service type jobs over my career. The best example of your point that the customer is not always right was my job as a concierge at a New York City hotel. I had one super-rich, self-entitled b!#ch accuse me of being dishonest and a "charlatan" because the tickets to a Broadway musical I purchased for her were not close enough to the stage. (By the way, the tickets were in the 9th row in the orchestra section.) I lost it and said, "How dare you make such a horrible accusation! How dare you accuse me of being dishonest!" I then followed up with that she was the nastiest human being I ever met. She stormed off and spoke to the manager of the hotel to try to get me fired. Fortunately for me the female manager saw right though her and realized what a total b!#ch she was. Needless to say I didn't get fired and the incident never went further even though this woman was going to go to the president of hotel since she and her husband spent tons of money there. <br /><br />I will never let any customer ever treat or talk down to me the way this woman did. As upsetting as this experience was, she will never forget the mere concierge telling her off. <br /><br />Sincerely <br /><br />Rik<br />
Staff
2014-05-07T17:57:00Z
Struggling With an Addict or Alcoholic
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Struggling-With-an-Addict-or-Alcoholic/981879585411048256.html
2014-05-06T17:30:00Z
2014-05-06T17:30:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I lost my own precious son in 2011 to a heroin overdose. <br /><br />My best advice is to become educated as soon as possible, not after it's too late. It is so easy to slip into denial and the "not my kid" attitude. That is incorrect and deadly thinking. Addiction can happen to anyone: rich or poor, loved or unloved, brilliant or not. Our son was the light of our lives. This did not prevent him from becoming an addict. <br /><br />If you think your child is taking drugs, they are. Early intervention is crucial for the best hope of recovery. It is absolute hell to watch your child slowly kill themselves. Act quickly and decisively. Don't be spineless. Be a parent, because your child's life truly depends on it. <br /><br />Don't be an enabler. At some point the drug will take over your child's mind, and there is not much you can do. Only they can help themselves. Do not get dragged into the pit with them. You are of no help to them if you are dragged into the addiction too. Do not bail them out of jail, do not pay their bills, do not let them prey on your emotions...and they will. They will do or say anything to get their next fix. They must feel the consequences of their actions. It must become more painful to be an addict than to get help. Don't make it easy for them to continue their addiction. You are killing them if you do. <br /><br />If you have other children, (I did not), don't sacrifice them for your addict either. They deserve your full support and love too. <br /><br />You cannot "love them well." The most loving and effective thing you can do is be a strong, decisive parent. <br /><br />Please listen to someone who has lived this. I don't want anyone to go through what I have. My life will never be the same. My heart goes out to every parent struggling with an addicted child. <br /><br />Pam<br />
Staff
2014-05-06T17:30:00Z
My Surrogate Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Surrogate-Mother/-232794196277068527.html
2014-05-06T17:15:00Z
2014-05-06T17:15:00Z
<br />Dear Mother Laura, <br /><br />Almost one year ago, I married a very talented shark-infested water swimmer. During the first few weeks of dating I happily told him if we were to get married someday that when we had children, I would be a stay-at-home mom. This put the biggest smile on his face and he said "Of course, I think that is the most important job in the world". <br /><br />I appreciate the wisdom that you share, so women know what they should look for to choose wisely and the encouragement to treat kindly every single day. I am so thankful that as we start planning for our family, I can keep what I have learned from you and apply it. After all, I wouldn't want you to pinch my head off. <br /><br />Thank you for being my surrogate mother! Happy Mother's Day! <br /> <br />Kristen<br /><br />
Staff
2014-05-06T17:15:00Z
It's the Little Things He Does
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-the-Little-Things-He-Does/31905719992194908.html
2014-05-05T17:15:00Z
2014-05-05T17:15:00Z
<br /><strong>Karen:</strong> <br />I am married to a wonderful MAN! He goes to work a little later on Tuesdays and Thursdays so he can make me breakfast. I don't know anyone else who's as spoiled as me. I always try to make sure he has a home cooked meal at the end of his day. We don't try to match who did what for whom when. We just try to do nice things for the other when the opportunity shows itself. We've been married 28 years and together 33 since we were high-school sweethearts. <br /><br /><strong>Annette: </strong><br />I love that you are talking about this subject because after 35 years of marriage my husband and I are still dating. One of the nicest things he does for me is he makes our bed each and every morning. He leaves last so he always takes special care to make our nest very inviting to come home to. He also dusts and vacuums and makes everything so lovely for when I get home. I have a very long commute and this is his way of helping me relax with no worries of household duties. At the end of the week I can almost always arrive to lamplight and beautiful music to celebrate the beginning of a new weekend together. This is how he shows his love for me. I am blessed and I am definitely my husband's girlfriend.<br /><br /><strong>Lynn:</strong><br />My honey makes me a latte every morning. He even puts the kettle on low so when I'm ready, all I have to do is put it on high for a moment before pouring. And my honey doesn't even drink coffee! He sure can make it delicious though! He also puts out vitamins for me and, since one of them is in a packet, he gently tears the packet partially so I can open it easily. Always makes me smile. Love him!!!<br /><br /><strong>Bonnie: </strong><br />After being married 22 years, my husband passed away a year ago. But before he died, even when he was sick, he would get up early and make me fresh orange juice. Of course I miss him a lot, but I miss my fresh orange juice, too. <br /><br />
Staff
2014-05-05T17:15:00Z
Cherished Family Memory
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cherished-Family-Memory/970548955068522697.html
2014-05-05T17:02:00Z
2014-05-05T17:02:00Z
<br />Spring break finally arrived and we were eager to head to the beach. This would entail a 12+ hour drive in an overloaded minivan containing our teen, her best friend, our precocious 4-year-old son, ourselves and our STUFF. My hubby is great at stowing cargo and everyone's bags etc. were piled high. Finally, our little guy came into the garage carrying a large metal Tonka Dump truck under one arm and the equally huge Cement Mixer under the other arm. The trucks were nearly bigger than he was. My husband was ready to say, "Pick one", but as the innocent one handed over his prize possessions saying "Here my twucks, Daddy", Hubby couldn't say no.<br /><br />We left in the wee hours, taking turns driving while the kiddos snoozed. The night was clear and we had great views of the Hale-Bopp Comet making its trek across the heavens. Every day we spent on the beach was magical. Our little boy spent hours playing in the world's largest sandbox with his giant Tonka trucks. We all played in the sand with him and gave him time to use his own imagination. It would have been so easy to have left those trucks behind but I don't think we would have had as much fun! We still talk about my boy and his 'twucks' on the beach.<br /><br />Maria<br />
Staff
2014-05-05T17:02:00Z
Congratulations You're Grounded
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Congratulations-Youre-Grounded/365930900045960487.html
2014-05-02T17:59:00Z
2014-05-02T17:59:00Z
<br />I was listening to your program - which I LOVE! There was a lady talking about how her daughter was caught shoplifting. My heart went out to her. I know her daughter was handled by the police and she came up with some GREAT ideas for grounding her child, but I found this online yesterday. I personally thought it was BRILLIANT! I think this might be one of the smartest solutions to grounding I've ever seen. I'm going to be using this when my 7-year-old gets into trouble. <br /> <br />Have a great day and do the right thing! <br /> <br />Shari <br /> <br /> <br /><strong>CONGRATULATIONS!</strong><br /><strong>YOU'RE GROUNDED!!!</strong><br />(To get ungrounded you must earn 500 points)<br /> <br />Write a nice letter to someone in the family = 10 points<br />Prepare and cook dinner = 50 points<br />1 load of laundry (wash, dry, fold, put away) = 100 points<br />Clean and organize a kitchen cupboard = 50 points per cupboard<br />Empty dishwasher = 25 points<br />Load dishwasher = 40 points<br />Clean and wash off table = 25 points<br />Clean and wash off island = 25 points<br />Wash kitchen chairs, benches, and stools = 25 points<br />Clean out microwave = 40 points<br />Clean and wash kitchen desk = 20 points<br />Clean and vacuum great room floor = 30 points<br />Wash great room base boards = 35 points<br />Sweep and Mop Tile in great room = 15 points<br />Wash windows in great room (inside and out) = 10 points per window<br />Water house plants = 10 points<br />Dust great room = 25 points<br />Vacuum window bench = 10 points<br />Scrub bathroom sinks = 10 points per sink<br />Empty kitchen garbage (and re-bag) = 10 points
Staff
2014-05-02T17:59:00Z
Fix It - Don't Throw It Away
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fix-It---Dont-Throw-It-Away/559744403964671864.html
2014-05-02T17:59:00Z
2014-05-02T17:59:00Z
<br />My husband and I have been married for 47 years. We've had some problems to work out, but our marriage has been pretty successful and blessed. He would swim with sharks to bring me lemonade and I would not trade him for anything. I want to be the couple that when one of us goes, the other it not far behind. <br /> <br />When asked how a couple stayed together so many years, the reply was they were born in a time when you didn't throw stuff away, you fixed it. Things get thrown away too easy today.<br /> <br />I am grateful to be able to listen to you. I make my grandkids, 13, 11 and 8 years old, listen whenever they're in the car with me. I hope they learn something to make their lives better and successful.<br /> <br />Linda<br />
Staff
2014-05-02T17:59:00Z
He Wants to Love You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Wants-to-Love-You/-736075052560476849.html
2014-05-01T17:22:00Z
2014-05-01T17:22:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /> <br />Over the past 20 years, I have learned so much from you about men, women, marriage, sex, parenting, and raising boys to be men. From time to time, your voice has popped into my head at the exact moment I would need to remember your words of wisdom. This type of moment happened this weekend.<br /> <br />We need to stage our home for purchasing. A house stager was going through the rooms with my husband, son and me. She made comments like "This room looks small", or "Take some of that down". My husband, bless his heart, would echo her with something like "I always thought that", or even prompt her with "Don't you think this needs to go out?". After several covert shushings from me and even a look or two from the house stager, I finally had to get blunt. I got close to him and said softly, with a smile on my face and looking him dead in the eye, "Her comments are not hurting my feelings, but yours are." My husband, the boyfriend of my life, looked stunned and took a couple of steps back. I went merrily about my business of following the professional stager. <br /> <br />The rest of the day went well. We packed up and moved out a lot of furniture and what-not. At the end of the day, my husband came up to me, massaging my back and working his way south, and said "I'd like to play with you." You can be sure the only thing on my mind was a shower and a glass of wine, but I heard your voice say "Love to him is a roll in the hay even though love to you is alone time; he wants to love you", so roll in the hay it was. All is well. Thanks so much!<br /> <br />Catherine<br />
Staff
2014-05-01T17:22:00Z
Each of Us Has Our Own Cherished Moments
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Each-of-Us-Has-Our-Own-Cherished-Moments/-506737871718236406.html
2014-05-01T17:15:00Z
2014-05-01T17:15:00Z
<br />When my first daughter was born, my father was working out of the country. When he returned, she was about 3 months old. While visiting with my dad the other day, I was trying to recall when he first saw her. Dad proceeded to tell me with 100% clarity the day he met my baby. While my memory of that day had faded, his was crystal clear. He told me he remembers that day if it were yesterday. I never really knew how meaningful it was to Dad to meet his first grandchild. Now I do.<br /> <br />Laura<br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/letter_050114.jpg" alt="" width="579" height="464" /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-05-01T17:15:00Z
You Can Find Love - Even With Herpes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Can-Find-Love---Even-With-Herpes/121278364605903678.html
2014-04-30T21:14:00Z
2014-04-30T21:14:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /> <br />I really felt for the caller who contracted herpes, and thought she could not find love again. <br /> <br />I struggled with the same thing. I re-entered the dating scene after many years, and wondered what to say to a new man. I also was starved for affection, and was very worried about the situation. I dated a few guys, had a few casual dates, and then met a man I thought had potential. My plan was to get past the initial getting to know each other, but before we got serious, to let him know. I was so worried about it, but had a talk with him. I told him I had been young, did a stupid thing, and had contracted herpes. I told him my first husband and I had been very careful, he had not contracted it in 12 years of marriage, and that it can be controlled somewhat with medication. I knew it was essential that I tell him before we were in any heated moment, and it took a lot of courage to do it. He did not reject me, and we continued in our relationship, becoming intimate, and then later breaking up. <br /> <br />Then I met my wonderful husband. We went through a similar pattern of getting to know each other. I was really scared when I told him, because I knew he was really special. He was so kind. He took my hands and said it would be alright. He said I had such sadness in my eyes that he just wanted to hold me and make it all better. It was such a weight off my shoulders. I felt truly loved, as there were no secrets. This man is a gift from heaven!! He accepted me, herpes and all, and is a wonderful husband. We are in our 50's, and have such a great marriage. We've been married for 18 months now, and I have never been so happy in my life. <br /> <br />So, I would counsel anyone, no matter how hard it is, to gather their strength, and put it out there. If your potential mate cannot see past the herpes to your good points, your great character, your caring and loving personality, and your sense of humor, fun and adventure, then they are not the right husband for you. You can find love again, even with herpes. <br /> <br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, for all that you do.<br /> <br />S.<br /><br />
Staff
2014-04-30T21:14:00Z
Good and Bad Friends
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Good-and-Bad-Friends/84731401754086313.html
2014-04-30T21:10:00Z
2014-04-30T21:10:00Z
<br />The qualities of a bad friend: not being truthful; engaging in gossip; continuing to share gossip when asked to stop; wearing two masks: one for you and another for the other various connections they have; lying; taking umbrage to your accusations, but not denying they did it; preaching Christian virtues while not living the life, etc. I despise these things.<br /> <br />Qualities of a good friend: honesty; willingness to stand with you when you are right; willingness to tell you when you are out of line; reminds you of God's blessings in your life and how you impact others in positive and negative ways; having their own unaffiliated circle of friends besides you; talking positive and proud of their own family, spouse, and children; when wanting to vent, being able to ask them if they just want to bitch or fix something; willing to just let you vent sometimes. <br /> <br />A good friend is someone who you ultimately will give the same care and respect for that you would for your own flesh and blood. In some cases, a friend can prove themselves to be more of a family member than your own gene pool. That is a true blessing. <br /> <br />Shannon<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-04-30T21:10:00Z
Adequately Prepared, But Not Ready...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Adequately-Prepared,-But-Not-Ready.../-248231257468180212.html
2014-04-29T14:35:00Z
2014-04-29T14:35:00Z
<br />
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>While I take no issue with any of your items in the blog, "<a href="/b/Are-You-Ready-to-Have-a-Baby/76934531747075599.html">Are You Ready to Have a Baby?</a>", when I first read the title I just had to laugh. "Ready" may be much too strong of a word.</p>
<p>Let me caveat this by saying I am the father of two almost grown children, one in college and the other about to graduate high school. My wife and I had everything in place for our children when they came along. We even had some money in the bank for their college. (It was the wrong place to put it, but more on that later.) We were "adequately prepared", but ready?...well that was quite another thing. I doubt anyone can actually be "ready" to have a baby because you never know what that baby is going to be like. With our first, we didn't get a full night's sleep for about three months. Our second was a collicky boy. My wife says if he had been our first we would never have had the second one. We didn't get a full night's sleep with him for six months. And we could not keep fresh bottles ready for him before he was demanding to be fed again. He is not now, nor has he ever been the slightest bit overweight.</p>
<p>Now about that bank thing...My wife inherited a nice trust for our kids' college money from her parents when they died. It was not so much that we could retire or anything, but it was more than most parents have to start their kids college funds. So my wife faithfully put the money into a Money Market account at the bank and would not hear of doing anything "risky" with it. After 16 years, we have slightly more than we started with. But unfortunately what had been more than enough when the kids were little is not quite enough now. That's how quickly college tuition and other expenses have escalated. We can handle it only because we had built our home with money we saved in advance. We have never had any payments on it or any loans outstanding against our home. And for the most part the same applies to our vehicles. There's no question we have been blessed financially. But we did make thoughtful preparations well before the kids - or even each other - came along. As a single guy I was paying off my first house well before I even met my wife, instead of buying the obligatory Corvette or sail boat. So we did start our family a little later in life than most people do, but we have had needed resources all along the way as a result.</p>
<p>Martin</p>
Staff
2014-04-29T14:35:00Z
Basic Character
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Basic-Character/327640213676268270.html
2014-04-29T14:32:00Z
2014-04-29T14:32:00Z
<br />
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am Irish, but lived in Germany and Italy during my 20's and found a radio channel with your program while living there! I loved it for those 10 years or so. Upon moving to the U.S., I became busy with my new life and family. Last year, I stumbled upon one of your books and have been reading them ever since. My favourite is "How Could You Do That?" as it challenges our basic character. You have NO idea how much you have strengthened me as a person, a mother, daughter and friend. I consider my integrity, good character and good moral fiber polished by your guidance.</p>
<p>Thank you SO much Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Fiona<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2014-04-29T14:32:00Z
Part of the Fight
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Part-of-the-Fight/-999580037931073251.html
2014-04-28T15:08:00Z
2014-04-28T15:08:00Z
<br />Dr Laura, <br /> <br />My kids were wrestling on the floor, when my 8-year-old son sat up and tossed me his beloved stuffed animal. With urgency he asked me to protect his stuffed animal, then turned and jumped back into the "ring". It was a reminder to me that as a Mom, I am still "part of the fight." Who else would my son trust to guard and defend his most precious companion while his back was turned? Who else could he depend upon for such an important task? This is a hard concept for some women, especially my women friends who have husbands in the military. Equality doesn't mean sameness. When the wives hear their husbands talk of the brotherhood they feel with fellow soldiers, the wives feel left out. I ask them if they are being "brothers" with their husbands in the battles of every day life...or are they being nags? Can their husbands depend on them like he can his fellows in uniform? Are they focused and part of the cause he is fighting for? <br /> <br />My son knew his tough mom could handle it. He wouldn't ask anyone else. <br /> <br />Rebekah<br /><br />
Staff
2014-04-28T15:08:00Z
My Monumental Attitude Shift
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Monumental-Attitude-Shift/-904167988972440476.html
2014-04-28T14:59:00Z
2014-04-28T14:59:00Z
<br />I was just listening to a podcast where a wife was complaining about how her husband never did anything, but when he did dishes for an entire day, she complained about how they were not done right because he left 16 dishes for her to put away. She actually counted? That summed it up for me. As my wonderful husband says: When you love someone they can do no wrong but when you don't like them they can do no right! <br /><br />We went through something similar in the beginning of our marriage. We had no role models on either side of our families when we were young, but thirteen years ago, I moved and heard your radio show for the first time. I have since become a podcaster and listened to every single show as well as read several of your books. I even went on that cruise with you! I started applying some of your methods, especially when I get up in the morning to think of something wonderful I can do for my spouse. The results of were a monumental attitude shift on my part!!!! He is absolutely the sweetest man on the planet and treats me like a queen, and "all I had to do" was to be sweet...go figure. You are so right when you say that if he's a decent guy, men are easy. I think sometimes because they are so easy we take them for granted. With any luck, other people will get the wakeup call I got from your show. <br /><br />A.<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-04-28T14:59:00Z
Our Lives Matter to Others
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-Lives-Matter-to-Others/284105839931715033.html
2014-04-23T21:15:00Z
2014-04-23T21:15:00Z
<br />Hello Dr. Laura,<br /> <br />This is in response to your blog: <a href="/b/Being-There-for-a-Sick-Friend-or-Family-Member/306347855835059028.html">Being There for a Sick Friend or Family Member</a> <br /> <br />Two years ago, I found out my cousin had cervical cancer; she was only 18 months older and we had always been close. She was at all the major events of my life. She was always a very private person. I cannot say I knew many details of her life as she didn't share much. During her illness, the circle of those who were allowed to care for her was small. She also didn't want many visitors. I always let it be known that I was only a phone call away. One afternoon, I got a text from her sister that she was in the hospital and would I come visit? "Of course", was my answer! I had no idea what I would be walking into or why she was in the hospital this time, but we had the best evening reminiscing and laughing. It's a very special memory to have now. A few days later, she was home and I visited her again.<br /> <br />Three days later she was back in the hospital, it didn't look good, and everyone was flying in. I picked up her mom and took her straight to the hospital. Unfortunately, my cousin didn't wake up after surgery. And I was there as they turned off the machines. I felt so privileged that she finally let me be there to support her and her family as she left us. <br /> <br />I miss her very much and am happy to have the memories and not wondering if I could have done more. <br /> <br />Lorrie<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-04-23T21:15:00Z
Valuing Yourself
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Valuing-Yourself/-669509499708735686.html
2014-04-23T21:01:00Z
2014-04-23T21:01:00Z
<br />Thank goodness my father was old school. When I started dating he insisted the boy come to the front door, no honking or me running out. Also, I had to stand by the car door until my date opened it -- and not from the inside, but standing outside by the door. I remember a date thanking me for teaching him how to be a gentleman. My father threatened me that he would be watching from the window. That's just one example. <br /> <br />I remember my father saying, "If you value yourself, others will value you too." <br /> <br />Guess what I am teaching my son and daughters.<br /> <br />Robyn
Staff
2014-04-23T21:01:00Z
Lightening the Load
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lightening-the-Load/-269620743349349399.html
2014-04-22T17:58:00Z
2014-04-22T17:58:00Z
<br />
<p>Two weeks ago, I felt like I was going to lose my mind, literally. I was so stressed that I was having panic attacks and screaming at my family. I'm not proud of my behavior. I arranged with my husband to take several hours off for the next few days.</p>
<p>While out, I pulled my bag out of the car to walk to a quiet place and felt a firm thought hit my mind: "Lighten the load". I pulled the extra things out of my bag, but felt I needed to think on that a little harder. While I walked, I wondered how I could "lighten the load" in my life a little more. I already had reduced my schedule, and uncluttered my home. What more could I do? After thinking on it, I came to this conclusion: I needed to lighten my MENTAL load. I needed to stop worrying about unnecessary things like others' unkindness or opinions, or what bad things might happen, but hadn't. It was probably a life saver. I've been practicing "lightening the load" in my thoughts since then, and I am a much happier person.</p>
<p>Sarah</p>
Staff
2014-04-22T17:58:00Z
Is This Your First Marriage?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Is-This-Your-First-Marriage/810935982490881607.html
2014-04-22T17:57:00Z
2014-04-22T17:57:00Z
<br />
<p>Dr. Laura</p>
<p>I was in the hospital, minutes after my grandma passed away, when a sweetheart nurse asked me a question, after my husband went out to start the vehicle. "Is this your first marriage?" "Ummm YES!" This is not the first time I have gotten this kind of question. I have also gotten it in the form of "Are you still with your son's biological father?" WHY are these questions even thought to be acceptable?!? I didn't have my son on purpose just to leave his father. I didn't get married to my husband just to find another one later. Keep in mind I am 'only' 28 years old and I am finding society's views on 'normal' to be anything but normal.</p>
<p>My husband and I have been together almost 11 years and married almost 8. My husband worked as an over-the-road truck driver until recently. He then took a job at the local co-op so he is home every night. He did this because he was missing too much time with our son.</p>
<p>I was beginning to think our lifestyle was abnormal. I am a stay-at-home mom and we live within our means - not always having the newest or nicest things. I am great at bargain shopping. After I picked up your book, "Stupid Things Parents Do to Mess Up Their Kids", I felt like I had found someone who understood. We don't have a brand new house or car, but we don't need them either. So many people are caught up on spending money they forget to spend TIME with each other. Thankfully, I am able to stay home with our son, take him to and from school and now since his Type 1 Diabetes diagnoses, I go the school every day to give him his insulin with lunch. My husband and son are my world. I do odd jobs that allow for a little extra money, but they don't interfere with our family time.</p>
<p>I cooked lunch at a local day care for 8 months this past year and I was APPALLED at how the kids were treated: Like dolls in a toy factory. The workers were inconvenienced to be there and the kids kept acting out, crying and calling the staff 'Mommy'. It broke my heart. I'm SO glad I didn't choose to dump my son off there just for some extra cash. Yes, money gets tight, but we didn't have him so others could raise him.</p>
<p>Lacey</p>
<p><br /> </p>
Staff
2014-04-22T17:57:00Z
Pull Together, Not Apart
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Pull-Together,-Not-Apart/-97929393139351241.html
2014-04-21T18:22:00Z
2014-04-21T18:22:00Z
<br />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I just read <a href="/b/Right-Age-to-Marry/-352591932812068902.html">Janet's email</a> about marrying young. We, too, were young (20 and 22) and will celebrate 42 years of marriage this summer. We were not people of faith when we married; we just loved each other and didn't want to lose each other. We also saw qualities in the other we admired and were drawn toward. We DID finish growing up together.</p>
<p>During your life you are going to have hundreds or thousands of things that will pull you. YOU have to decide to go in the direction that will pull you together and not apart. YOU have to decide you are going to stay together and fix the problems, one way or another. When we were young, my stubborn refusal to let anyone in my family say 'I told you so!' made me stay and work out problems. Then, once we had kids, and we were Christians, we both had greater reasons to work things out. I wanted and WANT to do what is 'right' to the best of my ability. And I want to be happy, too.</p>
<p>I have found you are right, Dr. Laura, in that if you 'go do the RIGHT thing', your feelings will follow. And if you dwell on the qualities of your mate, your heart and attitude will follow, too. Marriage is the blending of two separate people into one partnership that goes in the same direction. We are at the stage of life where we are happier than we have ever been, and just enjoy being with each other.</p>
<p>So, young marriages can stand the test of time, and flourish in their deep roots.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Johanna</p>
Staff
2014-04-21T18:22:00Z
Giving Our Children the Lives They Deserve
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Giving-Our-Children-the-Lives-They-Deserve/-413783985318410895.html
2014-04-21T18:20:00Z
2014-04-21T18:20:00Z
<br />
<p>Hello Dr. Laura, </p>
<p>I am a recovering feminist who worked full time in a demanding field for the first years of my boys' precious lives. I knew working while having kids was a mistake from the moment I spent 12 weeks with my precious toddler and newborn while on my second maternity leave. Still we had a very steep mountain of debts that had to be dealt with before I could quit. My husband was already working two jobs and I was working 40 hours a week. It took us a very long and painful 4 years to make my being home a reality.</p>
<p>When I get caught up feeling guilty about my years of passing the kids off to Grandpa for the day, I remind myself of the countless times you have told people to focus on the changes you have made to permanently right that wrong in your life. We now give our children the life they deserve. I have been home with my kids for 3 years now and it is easily the best decision I have made in my entire life. I can say that I am truly my kids' mom and dear husband's girlfriend. I love my new job and though it does not pay a monetary salary, the lifetime benefits package for our family is amazing.</p>
<p>I am proud to be the wife of a man who is willing to work hard to make this a reality. He is my dragon slayer and love of my life. He is the perfect example for our two boys of what a man is and how a man should provide for his family.</p>
<p>I am absolutely thrilled to be home for my kids and husband. Thank you for all you do in support of stay-at-home moms!</p>
<p>Nichole</p>
<p>FYI: My 7 and 8-year-old boys are home for Easter break. I enjoyed the many interruptions of getting snacks and listening to musical creations they immediately had to share that made writing this email take over an hour.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-04-21T18:20:00Z
No Rules for Electronics - Instead Priorities
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-Rules-for-Electronics---Instead-Priorities/-300087509161011321.html
2014-04-18T17:58:00Z
2014-04-18T17:58:00Z
<br />
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Since our daughter spends hardly any time in front of the TV or with electronic devices, I thought I'd share what works for us. Interestingly, as I tried to identify our rules, I realized we don't have any. What we have are priorities. What do we consider higher priority?</p>
<ul>
<li>Challenging piano practice </li>
<li>One low-stress sports registration of her choice </li>
<li>Play time </li>
<li>Scripture study </li>
<li>Homework </li>
<li>Family time/conversation </li>
<li>Reading for fun </li>
<li>Exercise</li>
</ul>
<p>Our daughter doesn't have a problem with excessive screen time because we have higher priorities. And play time really is a higher priority. After she completes her "responsibilities," we often have conversations like this:</p>
<p><strong>Child:</strong> "Can I play a game on your iPhone?" <br /><strong>Me:</strong> "No, you need some play time. Why don't you see if Hailey can play."</p>
<p><strong>Child:</strong> "Can I watch Frozen while we drive to _________?" <br /><strong>Me:</strong> "No, we're just going to relax and chit-chat and look around at the world."</p>
<p>This is not to say she never gets any screen time or time with the latest technologies, but we stick to our priorities, so we have no problems with excessive time with technology.</p>
<p>My $.02,</p>
<p>Adrielle</p>
Staff
2014-04-18T17:58:00Z
Raising a Gentleman
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-a-Gentleman/214755837124451535.html
2014-04-18T17:57:00Z
2014-04-18T17:57:00Z
<br />
<p>Hi Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I raised my boy to be a gentleman. He is 23 years old and has been holding the door open for females and the elderly as long as I can remember. The other day we made a quick stop at a convenience store. I waited in the car while my son went in. As he approached the door, he ran up to open it for a woman in her 30's. Can you believe that lady didn't even mutter "Thank You" to him...Nothing. She just walked right in, not even acknowledging my son at all. (By the way, he's very handsome so maybe she's blind and didn't see him open the door - I don't know, I didn't see a cane or a dog.) When my son got back into the car, I said, "That was so incredibly rude of that woman." He commented that it happens all the time.</p>
<p>So I understand WHY men are reluctant to hold open an elevator or door for a woman... because woman are blind... we really are.</p>
<p>You're the best!</p>
<p>Sharon</p>
Staff
2014-04-18T17:57:00Z
Screen Time Rules at Our House
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Screen-Time-Rules-at-Our-House/-418061784678797032.html
2014-04-17T16:11:00Z
2014-04-17T16:11:00Z
<br />We live in a high tech household. Our kids at the ages of 4 and 6 were given our iPads when we upgraded to newer versions. We are far from being a typical tech family though. We have firm limits of no more than 2 hours of any form of screen time at our house. The only exceptions are being home sick where we might watch a few classic movies together, special occasions like family movie night, or having to sit in a medical office for hours. <br /><br />Mind you, the 2 hours a day is NOT a given, it must be earned. They earn it by reading beyond what the school requires, doing EXTRA nice things for members of the family, good behavior choices at home and at school, and completing their morning, after school, and evening routines/chores in an efficient and kindly manner. <br /><br />The best part about the iPad is the restrictions that I can password save into the device. I know my kids are safe if they take their iPad to their room for their time. They have no access to the Internet, texting, YouTube, FaceTime, making in-App purchases, Facebook, Instagram, email, or any games that allow chatting beyond your own wifi network. The music and videos are what we have downloaded for them. We have set the Netflix account to appropriate settings for kids. They have used the video and pictures they take on their iPads for school reports. They sit together now at 7 and 8 years old and work out screen plays, lines, stunts, and create movie sets, then film their short films. This is something they came up with completely on their own. My youngest listens to classical piano on the iPad and then does an amazing job of replicating the basic melodies of the songs on our piano. He can sit there and play the piece bit by bit and then play it on the piano. He has learned basic phrases in Vietnamese or other languages using the iPad so he may speak with people when we travel. Finding a tutor for the native languages in the countries we go to would be expensive and hard to do. When they aren't using a device which is much of the time they are playing in the snow, building forts in our woods, riding bikes and scooters, catching bugs and creatures, climbing trees, making indoor forts, building Legos, Nerf sword fighting, playing ninjas/indians/soldiers, swimming/digging in the sand at the beach, or just plain old sliding down our muddy hillside. They are boys and they are incredibly creative and imaginative, and have a lot of free time to just explore the neighborhood. <br /><br />Using iDevices give us the freedom to allow them to play video games, while also opening up whole worlds of learning we never had as kids, all in a safe controlled way. Many folks do not realize the restrictions one can place on these devices so I share this knowledge with every parent I know. I love being able to give my kids a mix of the world I had playing free AND the tech world they must have some knowledge of to get by in the future. <br /><br />Thank you for bringing up this topic. <br /><br />Nichole
Staff
2014-04-17T16:11:00Z
Things Other Than Screens
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Things-Other-Than-Screens/-870830101388422050.html
2014-04-17T16:02:00Z
2014-04-17T16:02:00Z
<br />Our granddaughter is almost 8 years old and lives with us as her dad is in the military and her mother gave up parental rights. Our rule for screen time of any kind is a maximum of 2 hours in a day. We monitor what she watches and require that at least 50% consists of educational material. We downloaded filtering software to her tablet so she only has access to certain programs, and she cannot connect to the Internet except when we expressly permit it which is almost never. No screen time is allowed until she has done chores: folded and put away her laundry, picked up her stuff, helped with the dishes, etc. Television is not allowed during meals, or when she is doing chores otherwise she dawdles. <br /><br />As it turns out, she would much rather help me fix a meal or bake something than watch TV. She's turning out to be a darn good cook who can identify the fresh herbs I grow in my solarium by sight or smell and can tell if the "pot" needs something when we taste test. No amount of screen time can replace that. <br /><br />Along those same lines: She asked when she could have her own phone. I said, "When you get your driver's license." She asked when she could have a TV in her room. I said, "When you move into your own house and have a job." We don't have a TV in our bedroom, either. These same rules applied to her dad and aunt (our daughter) who both turned out extremely outgoing, intelligent, and self-motivated.<br /> <br />Maralyn<br />
Staff
2014-04-17T16:02:00Z
'Ratting' Someone Out
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ratting-Someone-Out/201188262458187319.html
2014-04-16T17:58:00Z
2014-04-16T17:58:00Z
<br />
<p>I ratted out my son when he was a senior in high school. I called the principal when I found a forged note from "ME" to excuse him from an entire week of school that he skipped without my knowledge! The principal told me he had NEVER had a parent "rat" out their kid which to me is unbelievable. My son had to earn his chance to go to his senior prom and NOT be suspended. His entire spring break that year he had to meet the custodian and clean the school along with a few detentions!</p>
<p>He was so angry with me, BUT I did that as his Mom because I loved him and back then he was getting in to all kids of trouble! (Off the record, I also got him into an after school re-hab. Then I called all his friends' parents and told them all IF my son was involved in "things" most likely so were their sons/daughters.) My husband and I formed a parent group and we met in parks/firehouses or anywhere we could gather to talk about our kids for free! I ran off flyers every meeting about the topics we wanted to discuss and brought bottled water and a snack. We got speakers to attend to help us as parents cope and it was a good therapy session for us adults to not feel alone! Years after the women of that group still met every few months for dinner for updates which turned out great for all.</p>
<p>My son is now 26 years old and still brings up ratting him out to the school and to his friends' parents! His friends were angry at the time, but they learned to respect me and to this day they visit me. I am thankful to say I did not lose my son to drugs and in my opinion he is alive today because of what I did. I have seen how many friends he lost to drugs over the years, but none of the boys whose parents attended our meetings! Other than my son having surgery to remove a benign brain tumor when he was 19, he is doing well.</p>
<p>Linda</p>
<p>P.S. I have listened to you since 1990 - first on the radio and now on SiriusXM 106! Love your show!</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-04-16T17:58:00Z
My Wife Will Now be My Children's Mommy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Wife-Will-Now-be-My-Childrens-Mommy/-792191970330781700.html
2014-04-16T17:57:00Z
2014-04-16T17:57:00Z
<br />
<p>Dr. Laura, </p>
<p>A week ago, I was listening to your show and after listening to you tell a caller they needed to put their kids first and ditch the nanny/baby sitter, I felt the conviction because the caller's situation was what my wife and I were in. My wife recently graduated and got her "dream job" making good money. In her own eyes, she thought she was finally making her parents proud. I always knew what the right thing to do was, but I WAS a push over husband. My wife had worked hard and she deserved this job, but not anymore. After I heard your conversation, I called my wife and told her, "This is totally out of the blue, but I need you to stay home with our children and be their mommy." Her reaction was not what I expected. I could hear her crying on the other end of the phone while at work, and she told me, "Thank you. I've wanted to talk to you about this and did not want you upset with me, so I have been praying about it."</p>
<p>She put her 2 weeks notice in the following Monday and this coming Monday I am proud to announce my wife will be my children's mommy! God is good! Men don't be afraid to be the backbone of your family. </p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura.</p>
<p>Anon</p>
Staff
2014-04-16T17:57:00Z
Deciding Not to Flee Anymore
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Deciding-Not-to-Flee-Anymore/-622543995841258589.html
2014-04-15T19:36:00Z
2014-04-15T19:36:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I remember listening to you in the car with my mom growing up but didn't really begin "listening" until I was 19. Since 1999, I've been listening to your radio program every chance I get and have been able to listen regularly since you moved to SiriusXM. I'm 34 now, and because of you I have fought to stay home with my two boys and am so grateful. <br /><br />The reason for this email is you gave me the backbone to save my marriage of 14 years. I love my husband more than anything, but for the past 5 or 6 years he would periodically blow up, yell and scream at me; mostly because he felt I was not putting in enough effort to keep the house clean. I would sit there, take it, feel that I deserved it, cry and promise to try harder. Over the past year or so I began to see a pattern. A few days before a blow up, he would be uncharacteristically be short with the kids and me; then shortly after he would come home and have his "tantrum". I would cry and then the next day he would walk around with a renewed spring in his step for a month or two until the cycle repeated itself. Because of you, I had the courage to stop this cycle. <br /><br />I have always had plenty of experience with the "flight" part of the "fight or flight" reflex, but the night of our last fight was the first time I experienced "fight". My husband was screaming at me over disciplining our oldest son. I came to the realization I couldn't have him in the house like this and if things didn't turn around I would have to kick him out. I did NOT want that, but I knew I had to do it. With this realization, my heartbeat slowed and I changed from an emotional wreck to a calm and objective participant. I approached him with this new attitude and with a notebook in hand, asked him to tell me exactly what he was trying to say. I wrote it down and repeated it to him. Gradually he calmed down and realized I was not fighting him. Once he had this realization, his whole demeanor changed and I could see my husband was back. The next night I told him we had three choices and I was not willing to do the first. We could do nothing and continue this cycle; we could get help and better our marriage; or we could separate. It was this ultimatum that opened his eyes to the damage he was doing and I don't believe he would have been able to get better without it. Since then, he has seen a therapist for anger management and has become much more aware of his feelings and how they affect our family. When he feels himself getting upset we talk about it and work through it before it becomes something else. He is also a lot happier with the house because he takes a much more active role in helping me stay on task and helps out when he can. Our lives as a family have been so much happier since and I just wanted to let you know you had a BIG part in it. <br /><br />Thank you so very much Dr. Laura! <br /><br />Angela<br /><br />
Staff
2014-04-15T19:36:00Z
Stupid Things Women Do
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stupid-Things-Women-Do/-363029085102235865.html
2014-04-15T19:34:00Z
2014-04-15T19:34:00Z
<br />I've made every common sense and moral mistake I could make as a mother. I had two kids by two dads and divorced both. After my second divorce, I decided I would never marry again. I hated the feeling of failure and being a statistic. Then I met a man who was equally adamant about not getting married. We dated and have now shacked up together with my two kids for two years. Over time, I have discovered potential infidelity, although I cannot prove any of my "gut feelings." He convinced me to give up my career of 10 years and take a lesser paying job to be closer to home and the kids, so I am now also financially less stable than even the period following my divorce. I have realized I do not want to shack up and be another kind of statistic for the rest of my life. Also I realize I do value marriage and what it offers, but he is still adamant that he does not. My oldest has one year of school left, then enters college and the youngest will start high school. <br /> <br />To top it off, this all comes from a woman who believes deeply in Jesus Christ, has been a successful business person and raised two incredible kids. It can happen to anyone. I would never advise anyone to make the mistakes that I have made. When you plant trees, don't plant lemon trees; plant hearty, wholesome, deep rooted trees so that midway through your life you do not look back and see an orchard of little saplings, but one giant, strong oak with many hearty branches.<br /> <br />Kim<br /><br />
Staff
2014-04-15T19:34:00Z
Qualities of an Attractive Woman
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Qualities-of-an-Attractive-Woman/-872720579992884995.html
2014-04-14T22:12:00Z
2014-04-14T22:12:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura,<br /> <br />A young friend was somewhat despondent over a present breakup and I told her he was a great fool to break off with her. She asked why I would say that and I thought you would like the response:<br />
<blockquote>I think that life is most akin to a journey. And like all journeys equally important to the destination and to the road traveled is the companion who journeys with you... Our parents try to prepare us for that journey and try to provide us with the tools to help us along the way. If we choose wisely our journey is a happy one, in part because of our destination, in part because of our method in getting there, but in large measure because of our companion. <br /><br />Having said that, and acknowledging this is my view and premise, I turn to why I think you are a great companion and why someone would be a great fool to let you go... One's attitude is paramount, while we all have down days, you are in my estimation a joy to be around: Always a smile, a genuine concern for those around you, good natured, kind to children, willing to learn, devoted to the task at hand, genuine, honest, I believe, and attractive. Your attractiveness is a bonus as to why you are a good companion and not a primary reason. I would say that you also appear to me to be a loyal soul; that once your heart is affixed it does not easily wander. You are care taking yet adventuresome. That combination of qualities is not common today, especially for women in their 20s. When life experience sets in, many women in America have made such poor choices in their 20s that their lives are forever burdened with those choices. You, in my estimation, have done none of those things. So, those are the reasons why I think you are a fabulous catch, and anyone who would let you go is a fool. A fool is someone who knows things yet chooses differently. Unlike someone who is ignorant - they may be inexperienced or uneducated, but a fool has learned and that learning is for naught.</blockquote>
<br />I believe your question was in earnest, and not an off-handed inquiry, so I gave you the thoughtful answer I think it deserved. You would make the right man happy to be alive and happy to be married to you. Have a great day <br /> <br />Wiliiam<br /><br />
Staff
2014-04-14T22:12:00Z
Running Away from Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Running-Away-from-Home/465509867221363990.html
2014-04-14T22:09:00Z
2014-04-14T22:09:00Z
<br />Hi, Dr. Laura! <br /> <br />The hardest thing I had to get through was leaving my siblings ages 12 and 4 when I ran away from home when I was only 14 years old! My parents were drug addicts all my life. I was the oldest and always felt the worst of the "wrath" that ever came from living with addicts. My father was physically and mentally abusive to my mother and my mother wasn't maternal at all! <br /> <br />When I was 13, I wrote a 4 page letter to my parents and held onto it until I built up enough courage to leave. I finally "cracked" right after my 14th birthday. There had been a major water leak in my father's bedroom and all his clothes were soiled. He told me I better have all of them washed by hand to his satisfaction by the time he woke up. Knowing my work wouldn't meet his approval, and then what would come when he woke, I left when I heard his snores... It was in the middle of the day as cranksters don't have normal sleep habits. I put the letter in his door jam. I asked my sister if she wanted to come, but she declined out of fear. I grabbed my suitcase and left QUICKLY! When leaving I turned around and took one last glance at my little brother playing kickball. I couldn't say goodbye as I was afraid he'd run and tell. I had no idea where I was going. <br /> <br />I ended up at my grandparents but they said I couldn't stay because they were too afraid of my father. After a day I left and stayed at a friend of the families who had a foster parent license! I would cry, so no one would see me at night or in the shower, worrying about my siblings. <br /> <br />I went on with my life working 3 jobs and kept myself busy to keep my mind off things. I couldn't help my siblings until I helped myself first! Now I am a great mother of 3 and happily married! <br /> <br />Thanks for reading! <br /> <br />Anon<br /><br />
Staff
2014-04-14T22:09:00Z
Follow Up to Email: Lessons to Ponder
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Follow-Up-to-Email:-Lessons-to-Ponder/-855396564700827171.html
2014-04-11T21:04:00Z
2014-04-11T21:04:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was surprised to hear my previous email read as the <a href="/b/Lessons-to-Ponder/-233966806068708465.html">email of the day</a> on 07/03/13 regarding the attack on me by a stranger while I was riding my bicycle for exercise. Thank you for sharing that with your listeners. This is a follow up to what has happened since then. <br /><br />After unsuccessful plea negotiations, we went to trial and the attacker was found guilty of a Class A felony. Maximum prison sentence is 20 years. Yesterday, I met with the parole board who will be setting the minimum sentence to be served. That determination will be forthcoming in the next 2 weeks. <br /><br />Although I am able to relate what happened to me with friends, family or strangers, with minor emotion, testifying in court and before the parole board was emotional and probably the hardest thing besides the actual fight for my life I've had to do in my 51 years. Mind you, I am a critical care nurse with 30 years under my belt. I am fortunate to have a strong psyche and experienced dreams of being chased by a stranger only briefly after my attack. I have ridden my bicycle alone or with my husband past the attack site multiple times without anxiety or fear. I DO have pepper spray easily available. I also now wear neon workout wear as much as possible. Luckily, my face-to-face role in this is finished. I am ready to move on and look at this as if I had a near death experience in the ocean. A wave crashing and holding me underwater a little too long, but releasing me just at the point I think I can't take another second, pop my head up and take in that gulp of fresh air. <br /><br />Dr. Laura, I love listening to your show. I have a new appreciation for how the mind works: the strengths as well as the weaknesses. In my next life perhaps I will pursue that line of study, but for now--I've got a lot of life to live and live well. <br /><br />Aloha! <br /><br />Diane<br /><br />
Staff
2014-04-11T21:04:00Z
Right Age to Marry?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Right-Age-to-Marry/-352591932812068902.html
2014-04-11T21:02:00Z
2014-04-11T21:02:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I understand the statistics and reasoning behind recommending one be more mature when they marry. I have seen the value of that decision. However, I have also seen couples who wed in their early 20's, including me and my husband, who because of their commitment to each other and to God have thrived in their marriages. One issue of waiting until later is the sexual desire is so strong that many will succumb to the carnal nature, leaving a trail of woe in its wake. I believe it's truly about character and commitment, more than age. I have witnessed nasty breakups of couples who were older when they married, so there is a much stronger component than age. <br /><br />Before we married in 1970, I received a "word picture" of a triangle. The Lord is at the apex and my husband and I were at the side corners. As long as we stayed on the path drawing closer to Him, we also drew closer to each other. That has been the foundation of our marriage and one which we have shared with countless couples. <br />Thank you very much for all you do to promote healthy families. <br /><br />Take good care<br /><br />Janet <br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-04-11T21:02:00Z
Holding My Feet to the Fire of Reality
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Holding-My-Feet-to-the-Fire-of-Reality/586207947222022206.html
2014-04-10T20:35:00Z
2014-04-10T20:35:00Z
<br /><br />Yikes, I was the <a href="/pg/jsp/charts/audioMaster.jsp?dispid=306&pid=100203">call of the day</a>. I am the woman you said that I didn't deserve more. I have gone back over a dozen times to the same man. When I was talking with you, I was so angry, hurt and afraid to talk. I reached out to you because intellectually I do understand how foolish I have been. However, hope and most likely my trying to repair the abandonment fear I have since childhood that I keep returning to him. <br /><br />I keep listening to our call and pray I will finally get what you were trying to say to me. Even though I was feeling frustrated because I wanted more of a shoulder to cry on, you kept holding my feet to the fire of REALITY. I now realize the healthy part of me called you. While at times you did sound harsh, I see that harsh is what I truly needed. For that I thank you. You told me I had to find my time exploring. You also yanked me back into line when I tried to tell you what I have been doing, and when I was trying to tell you I was afraid. You don't even know me, but you truly cared the most to be honest with me. <br /><br />You told me I have to find my purpose. I truly still don't understand what you meant by that. I am trying to figure it out. I put myself into rehab 8 years ago and have been sober. I still remember in some of the counseling I was CONVINCED that everyone was talking in riddles to me. I couldn't quite grasp what was so obvious!! Well, once the alcohol induced fog lifted and sometime had past, I started to understand all of the 'riddles'. I am sharing this bit of my past history with you to say thank you. <br /><br />At the end of our call you told me to trust you, not myself. You seemed to just know that I needed to trust something. I am trying to learn to trust my gut. Until then I am going to do what you said, I am going to trust you until it doesn't sound like 'riddles' to me and it finally makes sense. While I was going through our call, and after the subsequent listens, I realize you cut to the chase to start the healing instead of letting us, the callers, bemoan our angst. I was so frustrated and borderline angry with what, at the time, seemed your insensitivity. Now after some time, listens, and still not being able to stand on my head and spit out wooden nickels, I realize your seemingly abruptness truly is to let us, the callers, see our pattern of stuck and finally have the courage to actually push past the stuck with grit. <br /><br />Thank you for taking the time to help me and thank you for the continued gift of your wisdom.<br /><br />Kris<br /><br />
Staff
2014-04-10T20:35:00Z
I'm Now Doing the Right Thing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Now-Doing-the-Right-Thing/-190886833886390299.html
2014-04-10T20:30:00Z
2014-04-10T20:30:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I wish I had known you since I was 14, I would have avoided so many mistakes and probably would be living a different life from the one I am. I have been listening to you for 5 years now. You have helped me so much, although I know by experience that having a bad childhood/parents will take more than 5 years of Dr. Laura to reach the maturity that I should have according to my age due to all those wasted years doing the wrong thing. <br /><br />I live in Scotland now and am a Brazilian of Japanese descendant. I am suffering because I wasn't able to provide my daughter an intact family. Her dad is on his way to his third marriage and we had a huge fight as I was trying to protect my daughter. I was enraged as he let his girlfriend sleep in the house when my daughter was there and now they are shacking up. I was told by him to mind my own business and to re-think my ideas as they were wrong. I haven't let my daughter go to her dad's house so far, but I know I am just prolonging the inevitable. <br /><br />He thinks you live in the past and when I was married to him, I would probably have believed him, but thanks to you and the person I am now, I don't anymore. Thanks to you I know I'm doing the right thing by not dating and only raising my daughter. I also know I'm doing the right thing because I see it on my daughter's face. Her smile is all I care for and the bond we have is something amazing. Thanks to you I have the happiest daughter in the world. My ex acknowledges she is the happiest girl in the world, but cannot connect that to me and you. Although I never met or talked to you, you are the person who I turn to when I need some guidance and assurance. <br /><br />Thank you. <br /><br />Nina
Staff
2014-04-10T20:30:00Z
Moms Need Babies, Too
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Moms-Need-Babies,-Too/790944195417600710.html
2014-04-09T17:59:00Z
2014-04-09T17:59:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /> <br />I'm a stay-at-home mom who recently started working as a lactation consultant one morning a week while my mother-in-law plays with my two little kidlets. <br /> <br />Recently, I met with a new mom of a 3-month-old baby girl. This new mom had just returned two weeks ago to a full-time job following her maternity leave. And since her return to work, she had lost the majority of her milk supply even though she was pumping regularly. To make matters worse, her baby who had been exclusively nursing, was now refusing to breastfeed. With tears in her eyes, she told me how she had planned and achieved the perfect water birth in a birthing center, chose cloth diapers instead of disposable diapers for her baby, and had been exclusively nursing her beautiful baby. She was shocked that simply returning to work had ruined her breastfeeding relationship with her baby so quickly. And with tears in my eyes, I could only give my sympathy and tell her that this situation probably could not be saved. Her daughter now preferred large volumes of milk in a bottle versus smaller feedings at the breast. And for some moms, their bodies simply need their babies to make milk - their babies cannot be replaced by even the best pump. <br /> <br />This mom had so much regret about returning to work with the knowledge that she lost the beautiful breastfeeding relationship she planned on having for at least one year. So to all the new moms-to-be out there - you are not replaceable. Not only do your babies need you, but you need your babies! Thank you Dr Laura for making me both the mom and wife that I am today! <br /> <br />Dru<br /> <br />
Staff
2014-04-09T17:59:00Z
The Age One Should Marry
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Age-One-Should-Marry/-214471744782753510.html
2014-04-09T17:58:00Z
2014-04-09T17:58:00Z
<br />Dear Dr Laura,<br /> <br />I'm glad you're talking about marriage and the age people should marry! Even though I married at a very young age and have been successful at it for 33 years, I don't think it's for everyone! I believe men don't mature until at very least age 35. At least where my husband is concerned! He was very selfish and uncaring towards me! Then as he aged, he became less selfish so much so that now he's almost a different man! He doesn't do the stupid things he used to do like disrespecting me and not understanding why I felt disrespected. He even says, "Well, I was young back then and I'd never do that now!" So I really believe women mature way before men! I think a good age for women to marry would be in their upper twenties or perhaps even 30! <br /> <br />Tracy <br /> <br />P.S. Last week, I had to drive back and forth (about an hour each way) to the cancer center for radiation. I have stage 4 Melanoma. I can't thank you enough for keeping me entertained and educated during my drive! I listen to you on SiriusXM! So thank you!<br /><br />
Staff
2014-04-09T17:58:00Z
What's Wrong with Step-Parenting
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Whats-Wrong-with-Step-Parenting/714501426537446952.html
2014-04-08T17:58:00Z
2014-04-08T17:58:00Z
<br />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I'm a lawyer, psychologist, and co-host of the <em>Fatal Vows</em> series about divorces-turned-deadly on the Investigation Discovery network. Without knowing it, you influenced me strongly to take my "message" about personal responsibility out of the courtroom, out of the therapy room, and into the national discourse, so, first and foremost, thank you for modeling for me what I wanted to do.</p>
<p>I'm writing today specifically because our second season of <em>Fatal Vows</em> ended yesterday with an all-day marathon, and in the final episode of the season which premiered at the end of the marathon, I expressed dismay about how many of our cases involve failed attempts at step-parenting. Well, that drew the expected backlash, so I decided to take to my "Dear Dr. Brian" blog and answer a question tweeted to me by a female viewer who ironically admitted having been a stepmother TWICE wanting to know "What's wrong with it?" Well, here's my response: In case you can ever use a wholeheartedly-concurring second expert opinion on the minefield that is step-parenting, I'd be honored for you to have my response at your disposal, which is available here: <strong><a href="http://drbrianrussell.wordpress.com/2014/04/06/dear-dr-brian-8/" target="_blank">Why I'm Sour on Step-Parenting</a> </strong><br /><br />Thanks again for everything,</p>
<p>Brian Russell, PhD, JD, MBA <br />Psychologist, Attorney, and Investigation Discovery Co-Host</p>
Staff
2014-04-08T17:58:00Z
Love Needs Respect
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Love-Needs-Respect/313934992564121369.html
2014-04-08T17:50:00Z
2014-04-08T17:50:00Z
<br />
<p>Too bad there are not more women out there with your "old fashioned, no nonsense" ways. Too bad those ways are no longer the norm.</p>
<p>I have known wonderful lady for over 20 years now. We both love each other dearly, but we are only friends. We have thought about the "next level" - engagement, then marriage; however, from early on, we both have understood she is very carrier oriented. So we left the "next level" on the far back burner and continued on with our own lives while maintaining occasional contact and all of our feelings for each other.</p>
<p>You often say that love alone is not enough -- well, it isn't. There needs to be respect for each other. Without respect, there is nothing. And there also needs to be, at least in some ways, shared dreams and goals. We have seen too many in our own lives try to force a relationship without any of those things, only to see most crash and burn badly. That respect for each other, and the acceptance of the others goals and dreams are, I believe, what enables my lady friend and I to have held onto our friendship, and love, over the years.</p>
<p>She proved far wiser then I years go when she said that sex would ruin what we have. Looking back, I agree. If we had ever bedded but not wedded, I feel the respect would have slipped away. We have neither bedded or wedded -- those two things may never be in the cards for us. But as long as we have respect for the other, we will have something far more precious then any sexual encounter.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the years. Keep on nagging for a good cause.</p>
<p>Julian</p>
Staff
2014-04-08T17:50:00Z
Equipped Me With the Courage to Just Do It
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Equipped-Me-With-the-Courage-to-Just-Do-It/380669524714351421.html
2014-02-24T23:48:00Z
2014-02-24T23:48:00Z
<br />
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>In 20 years of being with my husband, I have only seen him cry twice. Once when his father died, and the second time was when he heard what you had to say about him when I called you. I played back our call to him regarding my son who had lived in China for 10 years and was in desperate need of help. I wanted to know if I was unreasonable, (my husband had told me I was), when I wanted to not loan, but gift $300 for 2 years and buy airline tickets for them to visit us for the first time since 2007. You called my husband selfish, a bad man, and a joker. You also stated that I was better off without him. He was positive you would see it his way. He was shocked at what you said and initially very angry. I told him you had validated my thoughts on the matter. As you instructed, I did not mention my feelings. I told him I thought you were 100% right, except I really believe he is a good man who is just off kilter with his thinking on this one issue. And while I hope he would come around, I was going to follow your advice and take care of my kid, with or without his blessing.</p>
<p>Needless to say, he came around, apologized, and asked my forgiveness with tears in his eyes. Together we cried and then made up - that was fun! We then bought those tickets and told my son the $300 per month was a gift!!</p>
<p>You are my brilliant, life-changing friend and very much remind me of Solomon of the Bible with how you quickly and effectively get to the root of issues. I can not thank you enough. You truly are a hero to me, as I know it can't always be easy to be so blunt, not always knowing who you are dealing with, yet caring enough to change lives. You have changed my life dramatically for the better with so much advice that I hear in your books and on your radio program. Thank you so very much, Dr. Laura. I so very much appreciate what you said to me and how you helped me know the right thing to do AND equipped me to have the courage to just do it.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Carol</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-02-24T23:48:00Z
No Longer a Victim
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-Longer-a-Victim/-176801175719298002.html
2014-01-15T19:00:00Z
2014-01-15T19:00:00Z
<br />
<p>I would like to thank you for giving me a firm foundation that I never had before. I, like so many others wish I had found you sooner. I was basically raised by wolves, very unhealthy ignorant and abusive wolves. So I spent many years in unhealthy relationships trying to fix the unfixable daddy issues. I made every mistake I could think of except marrying and having babies. I’m surprised I didn’t nail myself to a cross so everyone could see what a victim I was. Well, that all ended when I started listening to you. I ditched the cross, dusted myself off and started developing some self-esteem. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I quit allowing myself to be victimized and I stand my ground for what I feel is right. I have become a better person, friend, girlfriend and am so much happier than I have ever been. I now know how to have a healthy relationship and sit in shock at how easy and fun it is.</p>
<p>I am 51 and sometimes get sad that I wasted so much time being an idiot, but at least I’ll make sure this story has a happy ending. Thank you again so much for your “common sense” which unfortunately has become a rarity. You have a gift for laying things out and making what some find complicated very simple. </p>
<p>Thank you again for what you do.</p>
<p>Zoe</p>
Staff
2014-01-15T19:00:00Z
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Actions-Speak-Louder-Than-Words/-386472896000107248.html
2014-01-10T22:11:00Z
2014-01-10T22:11:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, </p>
<p>Eight years ago, I purchased your book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" after having listened to your show for about 15 years. We had been married for nearly 20 years and had fallen into a slump of focusing most on the children, house and work. I wasn't even finished with the first chapter when I decided to try some of your suggestions. It was like a miracle! For every positive action I took, there was an immediate and even better REaction! I felt like I was a puppet master and even felt a little guilty at the way I could manipulate my husband into treating me a little nicer. In turn, I felt better about being more considerate of him. I hid the book so my husband didn't know what I was up to.</p>
<p>Since then, I have given the book to countless new brides, loaned it to friends and family, and once, did not get it back so I bought another! From time to time, I have had to re-read it to get things going in the right direction again. We are in our first year of empty nest syndrome since both children are now in college and lately, it seems effortless to be more kind and respectful to one another. But the icing on the proverbial cake was last night when my husband told me about a thought that crossed his mind that morning. He said, "You really DO love me a lot don't you?" And I said, "Yes, I do. What brought that on?" He replied, "I don't know. I was just thinking about us." It was then that the notion actions speak louder than words really came to light. I've told him I love him daily for the past 26 years, but those 3 words can be very empty without the actions that must go along with them. I hope this doesn't embarrass you, but in my mind, you are a genius for having the good sense to write this book. Thank you so much for sharing this wisdom with everyone who wants to save their marriage. And even if they think things aren't bad - they can always get better!</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Danielle</p>
Staff
2014-01-10T22:11:00Z
Safe Sex vs. Abstinence
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Safe-Sex-vs.-Abstinence/-62038360240867639.html
2014-01-06T19:07:00Z
2014-01-06T19:07:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>There are many reasons to teach that sex is only to be practiced within the context of a monogamous marriage. God created sex to be a pleasure enjoyed within that protective boundary and to do otherwise is to defy Him and live with the innate consequences. These consequences include the obvious potential physical health problems, but I believe it goes much deeper than that. There is a trust between two people who have kept themselves for each other alone that is probably impossible between people who've not practiced that level of self control. For example, my sister-in-law never worried about my brother straying when he was deployed for over a year because she had already witnessed his self-restraint during their engagement. She saw the clear exercise of his integrity even when she hadn't fully understood it early on. When one has only had a single partner, there are no performance comparisons to nag at you. You have the enjoyment of first discovery together without feeling the pressure to keep up with all the other partners. There's just a whole lot less baggage.</p>
<p>Then there is the idea of imprinting. I believe the bonding with your one and only is just not there if there have been more. As a woman, I can only imagine the damage done to have given of yourself sexually to a man only to be cast aside for someone else. How many pieces of yourself can you give away without becoming very damaged and/or jaded. It's really just a very bad idea.</p>
<p>We have taught our kids the importance of doing as we did, abstaining until marriage. We have not taught them sex is bad, but that it is wonderful when treated as something special and done within the parameters of God's design. Guess it worked, as both our kids are waiting. They will have no worries about what they bring to the marriage bed.</p>
<p>Dale</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2014-01-06T19:07:00Z
Trust and Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Trust-and-Love/146579190339180068.html
2014-01-03T19:15:00Z
2014-01-03T19:15:00Z
<br />Here is what I have learned from Dr. Laura since 1996: <br /><br />• Relationships are like bank accounts of good will; make lots of deposits and few withdrawals. <br /><br />• Caring people show positive regard for themselves and others with understanding, kindness, and compassion. <br /><br />• Don’t allow the 20% negative side of a relationship to overshadow the 80% positive side. Nagging about the 20% demeans the other person, and pushes him/her away; neither party is happy. Focusing on the strengths of a relationship encourages and supports the other person. <br /><br />• Best friends create their own happiness and then share it with each other. <br /><br />• Trust and love must be earned. <br /><br />• Blind trust in people or institutions leads to erroneous assumptions, frustration, disappointment, and potential abuse from a predatory relationship. <br /><br />• There is no such thing as unconditional love. All love comes with expectations, lines in the sand, and deal breakers. Otherwise, you're just a doormat for people to wipe their feet on. <br /><br />• Reasons to end a relationship are abuse, addiction, adultery, and abandonment.<br /><br />Bob<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2014-01-03T19:15:00Z
Conditional Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Conditional-Love/170095663897122590.html
2014-01-03T19:00:00Z
2014-01-03T19:00:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My husband drew a line in the sand after we had been dating long enough for him to learn of my past. I had smoked cigarettes, done drugs, and drank to excess, and had sex with several partners. I did none of those things when we met and he wouldn't have given me a second look if I had. After he had professed his love for me he told me in no uncertain terms that if I ever smoked, drank, did drugs or cheated he would be gone in a flash. I do not want to return to that life and I certainly don't want to hurt my now husband, but I am glad he drew the line with me. I know what to expect from him. <br /><br />Thanks for all you do in the community, <br /><br />Susan<br />
Staff
2014-01-03T19:00:00Z
Home Life is Failing Boys
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Home-Life-is-Failing-Boys/-945735947494439699.html
2014-01-02T19:17:00Z
2014-01-02T19:17:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have listened to you since I started college. You have taught me many valuable lessons and I now live the life I want for the rest of my life. It is not always perfect, but I am learning every day. Each day I wake up and think how I can value and appreciate the differences between my hubby and me! Thank you for that!<br /><br />With that said, I am a teacher of 14 (now part-time) years and a mother of two very active boys, 6 and 4. They were even active in my tummy! My kick counts literally took 15 seconds each night. My husband and I knew we were in for it.<br /><br />If I may say, it is not our schools that are failing our boys, it's their family lives at home. As a teacher, I offer active learning centers where my students can move, talk and express themselves. As teachers, we do everything we can to get our kiddos actively engaged in their education. My colleagues even taught me to have empty envelopes so that the boys in the classroom can "deliver" something to the office just to give them an opportunity to move. I believe now more than any other time in history, our boys have more opportunity to learn according to their needs. <br /><br />However, our boys are being "feminized" at home! Boys now see two working parents and I truly think they are gender confused. Our children think the 50/50 rule is the norm. I don't know how and when it happened, but men are not taking (and women are not allowing or encouraging) men to TAKE their masculine roles. I teach my boys that although I'm their boss, dad is the "big boss" of the house and they always have to ask daddy to be excused from the table. My hubby takes the boys surfing and teaches them how to work on the boat. My boys see me at home cooking them hot meals at night and doing laundry, while they see Dad going to work and finishing projects around the house. We take time to thank Dad for providing us with the things we have. We appreciate the things he does as a daddy and things I do as a mommy.<br /><br />Might I also add that moms today are treating their boys like girls. Our boys need the opportunity to run, get dirty, play tag, and skin their knees!!! Moms today are over "mommying" them and boys are learning to be over-sensitive and feminine. In order for children to learn, they must arrive at school with the proper foundations in place. Boys are missing out on opportunities to be boys at home. They are over scheduled. They do not get to play in the neighborhood and deal with the bully around the corner. Instead, boys now go on "playdates" and only run during sports practices. When they get home, they go right to the TV or computer. Boys need opportunities to fail so they may get back up and try again. I believe education is failing our boys because roles are confused at home. Let's let our boys be boys so they can grow up to be men! <br /><br />Masculinity is an endangered species...keep fighting the good fight!<br /><br />Meredith<br /><br />
Staff
2014-01-02T19:17:00Z
Losing My Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Losing-My-Man/-782894260022266708.html
2014-01-02T19:00:00Z
2014-01-02T19:00:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura: <br /><br />I want you to know "MY MAN" David. I lost him in February 2013 due to heart failure. Our union was of 36 years. This lovely man loved me and we made a happy home for our 5 children. He may have not always told me he loved me, but he always showed me he loved me. He never wavered in his responsibilities to his family. My husband was the most "honorable man' I've ever known and to this day, there will never be anyone else for me but him. I always say, "I was the lucky one!" This was our first Christmas without him, and needless to say a very rough time to get through. My advice for everyone out there looking for that one special person, is to know yourself and make a mental list of what you can and cannot accept in a mate. If you do not know yourself yet, than wait until you are sure of yourself. I did and the second time around I chose very wisely. This decision was the success of our marriage and our children's future. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Toni<br /><br />
Staff
2014-01-02T19:00:00Z
Loneliness is a Voluntary Condition
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Loneliness-is-a-Voluntary-Condition/474720203711382154.html
2013-12-20T19:15:00Z
2013-12-20T19:15:00Z
<br />Hi Dr Laura, <br /><br />This year, my husband decided to end our marriage of 18 years to pursue greener pastures. I could struggle with loneliness or hit the bars, but I have chosen otherwise. I'm re-tooling my education so I can go back to work when my cobra benefits run out. So I can stay on my kids' schedules, I am substitute teaching at my girl's schools. Plus, I love it. It's not exactly sunshine and roses, but the kids and I are building a good life together. We have moved twice in the last six months to get into a house I can afford, but I am pleased to say I've kept them in their same schools and activities through the craziness. Therapy helps, but not everything can be fixed. <br /><br />When they are gone to their Dad's, I'm super lonely, but I'm not about to start dating until the girls are out of the house. My two doggies don't quite cut it, even if they are adorable and follow me from room to room. So, I decided to start something called Stone Soup Saturday Night on the first Saturday every month. Do you know the folk tale about stone soup? It's about a peddler who went from door to door asking for food. When no one would invite him in, he invited them to join him in the square for stone soup. They all said no - they only had a little bit of food and it wasn't enough to feed their own family, so they wouldn't share it. Ultimately, everyone showed up with their little and made a good soup together. I live in an area where people don't really talk to each other unless they are in the same circles. So, I'm mixing it up! I'm hoping people will show up to my house, bring someone I don't know, and we can all have some fun getting to know each other. I have emphasized family-friendly, bring one thing only for the soup, and you can't BUY it - it has to already be in your pantry or fridge. The thing is, we don't have to be lonely. We can reach out to other people. <br /><br />I volunteer at my church, my kids' schools, and for my daughter's dance team. I write a blog. I listen to you every day on satellite radio. I play with my two poodle puppies. I paint beautiful pictures. Lonely happens from time to time, but loneliNESS is a voluntary condition, I have discovered. Really, there are plenty of people out there willing to help you overcome it. Thank you for bringing up this subject.<br /><br />Celeste<br /><br />
Staff
2013-12-20T19:15:00Z
I've been a Girl, Not a Woman
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ive-been-a-Girl,-Not-a-Woman/-967508586215816258.html
2013-12-20T19:00:00Z
2013-12-20T19:00:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have listened to you since my kids were babies. Now they are 27 and 29, and I finally understand how to act like a woman vs. a girl. Until now, I have been 5-years-old emotionally in so many ways. With menopause, wrinkles, and a sagging body, there are not a lot of princes who will come rescue me anymore when I wave my little hankie of neediness. I have ruined my reputation with some of my colleagues, neighbors and friends and have realized: who wants to be around a needy little baby lady who just takes and takes and takes and never gives back? Well, I am growing and learning...slowly, because I have just been wanting "my own way" all these years and rejecting any wise advice like a 5 year old. I'm done. It's time to grow up. I think big girl panties are actually cute now when I used to think they were so nerdy. Hah! The joke was on me. I can't wait to live my big girl life, giving, receiving and enjoying life, not clinging to it. If you want a prince, you must be a princess. If you want a full-grown man, you must be a full-grown woman. Otherwise only the minions of boys will always chase after the "girls." I feel so fortunate to have learned this. Good times are ahead. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Becky<br />
Staff
2013-12-20T19:00:00Z
Magic and Tough Mudder!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Magic-and-Tough-Mudder!/-555152210319558893.html
2013-12-19T19:15:00Z
2013-12-19T19:15:00Z
<br />I've always been a heavy framed girl even though I'm a runner, swimmer, and soccer player. Never will the words 'tiny thing' be used to describe me, even though I'm only 5'3". When I was pregnant with my daughter, 17 years ago, my doctor was okay with my 40 pound weight gain as my bp stayed 90/60, and my blood sugar never changed. Unfortunately, the 40 pounds turned into 55, and my once muscular and strong physique was 188 pounds of sloppy flab. On top of that, in my late 30s, I hit menopause like the other women in my family. I was ashamed of what I had done to my once beautiful, strong, healthy, kick-ass body. <br /><br />So, two years ago, when we booked our third cruise, I decided I wasn't going to go on this one a fat girl avoiding the camera. I started a food journal, counted calories, worked out, and started toward my goal of 140 pounds set by my doctor. I didn't deprive myself - I just followed your philosophy of eat less, move more. From June 2012 to the day I got on that boat on June 16, 2013, I lost 44 pounds. It was so great to embrace the cameras again! <br />In October of 2012, I upped the ante. My brothers-in-law mentioned Tough Mudder, a 12 mile marathon/obstacle course created by the British Special Forces and benefiting the Wounded Warrior Project. We decided to do it in honor of our adopted warrior, Derrick Rage Ross, a soldier injured by an IED a couple years ago. Team RAGE was born! We downloaded the recommended workout and started on that, too. My goals were to finish and at least TRY every obstacle. I DID IT. My two biggest obstacles were Arctic Enema (where you have to swim under a barrier of melted ice and ice) and Funky Monkey (monkey bars). That one shocked me as I was always good at it. My daughter, husband, sister, and niece got me through that one with my little girl yelling "ONE MORE MOMMY, ONE MORE!" <br /><br />We crossed the finish line, as you see by the picture, totally gross, but elated. That orange headband and the Tough Mudder Finisher shirt are now my prized possessions, and proof that menopause and middle age are NO EXCUSE for being out of shape. Staying that way is a CHOICE, 99.9% of the time. The picture is my brother-in-law, me, my younger sister, and my other brother-in-law. Both men are veterans and one is also a firefighter and arson investigator. Now, I'm trying to get my husband to join us so he can be in the next one. He's coming off of a back injury, so he's hesitant especially when he saw how banged up we were the next day. But sore? Not so much!<br /><br />Michelle<br /><br /><img style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 5px;" src="/images/blog/tough_mudder.jpg" alt="" /><br />
Staff
2013-12-19T19:15:00Z
Boys & Girls on the Subway
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Boys--Girls-on-the-Subway/489777125102839272.html
2013-12-19T19:00:00Z
2013-12-19T19:00:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura! <br /><br />I was listening to your podcast on my commute to work this morning and your opening topic was about the differences between boys and girls in the classroom. Well, wouldn't you know that when I got on to the subway I saw a small class apparently taking a field trip into the city. The children looked to be about 8 or 9 years old. The girls were all seated in the same area, huddled together, whispering and giggling. The boys, on the other hand, were trying to balance without holding on, hanging off the railings, and cracking loud jokes trying to make each other laugh. I paused your show so I could hear what the boys were talking about. In about 5 minutes I heard them mention karate, zombies, and, my favorite, the particulars of a certain laser they saw in a movie and how much damage it would do if it were directed at the human body. I got a big kick out of them and it made me smile on the way to work. I just hope their chaperone got a good night's sleep last night - he's in for a long day. <br /><br />Signed, <br /><br />a listener who is very grateful for your voice of reason, Elizabeth<br />
Staff
2013-12-19T19:00:00Z
Should All Kids Get a Trophy?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Should-All-Kids-Get-a-Trophy/617210143460786789.html
2013-12-18T19:15:00Z
2013-12-18T19:15:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I was listening when you told parents to ask if everyone gets a trophy before enrolling their child in a sports team.<br /><br />I am a special education teacher in NYC and my children suffer from various disabilities: mental, physical and emotional. I am currently teaching them to write an argumentative essay where they need to choose a side of an argument and defend their claim with strong evidence and reasoning. The topic I chose for my students to write was: "Should everyone get a trophy?" Needless to say, I was curious as to what their responses were going to be since many of them are uncoordinated and not athletic. Here's one of my student's responses that I thought you would like to hear: <br />
<blockquote>Everyone should not get a trophy. For example, if there was a girl and she kept winning competitions and the people who get in fourth place get a trophy, then the trophy would have no meaning at all because the people who lost got one. If everyone got a trophy and lost, it won't motivate them to do better. For instance, it is fair for the winner to get a trophy because they worked really hard. It is wrong for people to get a trophy if they only show up or do what is required. It gives people the wrong message in life, it shows them even if you're not good you should always be rewarded which doesn't make them want to practice to get better. That's why everyone does not deserve a trophy, only the winners do.</blockquote>
<br />Marisa<br /><br />
Staff
2013-12-18T19:15:00Z
An Act of Kindness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/An-Act-of-Kindness/-901696197508760795.html
2013-12-18T19:00:00Z
2013-12-18T19:00:00Z
<br />Years ago, when we were leaving the state fair, my son, who was in third grade, was so excited to have some candy and money in his pocket and a little stuffed animal he had won. We turned the corner and there was a table with people collecting money for a local orphanage. I took out a couple dollars and had my son put the money in the collection basket. We continued on when he suddenly turned around, ran back to the table and gave them his stuffed animal, candy and change from his pocket. It still melts my heart. He is a senior in high school now and will be going for a second time on a mission trip to Mexico where he will work with underprivileged children in a small village - giving up his spring break to help poor children. His heart is inspirational to me!!!<br /><br />Diana<br /><br />
Staff
2013-12-18T19:00:00Z
TRUE Parents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/TRUE-Parents/165063586176701804.html
2013-12-17T18:57:00Z
2013-12-17T18:57:00Z
<br />Hello, <br /><br />I am a true mommy and proud of it! My husband and I have been married 25 years, have 10 children, and are our kids' parents! I work part-time as a RN and my husband is a realtor. We work around schedules so when one of us is working the other is home. We never wanted the kids to go to day care and actually wanted to raise them. They attend Catholic grade school and high school that requires time, talent and treasure upon admission and we gladly pay tuition every month. Our children are kind, respectful of others, honest, great students, and most importantly HAPPY. They know that Dad and I are always there for them and whatever the problem or situation we will work it out. By no means are they perfect, they can be sassy and laundry is never done, but we have not had any major issues to date. This may sound like I am bragging or putting my nose up in the air to working moms, but I truly believe the happiness in our home is because we have stayed home to raise them. <br /><br />I heard a caller "complain" about caring for her daughter without her husband's help. She giggled and said when both parents work, day care is what you get. Well it isn't a law that I am aware of. It may mean not as many dinners out and not many extras, but it ends up being priceless. <br /><br />I didn't have a "mommy" I had a "birth mom". I was never a priority to her and that's ok. Maybe I am a little over zealous because of it, I hate when parents say "That's how my parents did it." Or "I didn't know any better, my mom did it." Well they are even more wrong! They know what it is like to be a kiddo and to feel scared or alone. They know better than anyone! Now that I am a mom I can't imagine anyone else doing those things for me. I complain about laundry and swear I just bought milk, but then I laugh and am glad they are home to drink the milk and take endlessly long showers everyday! <br /><br />We have a son who just married and all 9 of his siblings were in the wedding. Our oldest daughter loves and cares for special needs children in public school and swears to change the system! We have a son with special needs who is a junior in college when experts said he would never go to 'normal' school, and our next daughter is a sophomore in college on full scholarship because of her academics and service to our community. We then have 2 in high school, 3 in grade school and thank God I still have a baby at home! He is 4, but our baby. I hate when the kids go back to school and the kids hate being around me when back to school comes around. I really hate when the college kids go back, but it feels so good when they are so happy to be home. Our senior in high school teases the baby that he will have to go with him to college because he will miss him too much. My husband has been a great "role man". I call him that because he truly loves and cares for us and I couldn't be happier! <br /><br />Mandy<br />
Staff
2013-12-17T18:57:00Z
Boys and School
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Boys-and-School/-234370117282223155.html
2013-12-17T18:54:00Z
2013-12-17T18:54:00Z
<br />After listening to your show about boys in school I wanted to share my story with you. I am a 41-year-old stay-at-home married mother of 4. 3 boys and 1 girl. When my oldest son started school, the director sat me down and said "you know your son is not normal, right?" He was my first child and I actually had nothing to compare him to, but thought he was normal. She suggested I lie about his speech and try to get him evaluated by the regional center for Autism. I decided not to and pulled him from the school. I spent years trying to figure out what was "wrong" with him. I took him to psychologists and they all said he was normal. In first grade, his teacher said "When I teach he contributes. And then I wonder where he learned that when most first graders raise their hand to say what they had for dinner." She still insisted there was something wrong, but when I asked her what she thought was "wrong" with him she said maybe ADD and I should have him tested. I moved him to yet another school. Finally in second grade his teacher sat me down and said "There is nothing wrong with him he is just truly gifted." She gave him advanced reading and helped to boost his lacking confidence from always being told he was not normal. He joined MENSA when he was 8. So now we know what is RIGHT with him. In 5th grade he is reading at a college level and one of the sweetest and happiest kids I know!!!! <br /><br />Laurie<br />
Staff
2013-12-17T18:54:00Z
Trophy Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Trophy-Children/-679887805067151453.html
2013-12-16T19:15:00Z
2013-12-16T19:15:00Z
<br />
<p>I was listening to your prologue on awarding children trophies for everything whether they've accomplished anything or not - when a personal experience came to mind:</p>
<p>My wife is a piano teacher and tries to instill in her students the importance of self-discipline. She does a few things to acknowledge them when they meet the goals she's laid out. One of those goals is to practice 30 minutes every day for the month as confirmed by the parents. At the end of the year during the annual recital, she gives a certificate of participation to each student who performs and a small trophy to those students who have practiced 30 minutes a day every month for the entire year. Of course, not all students meet the "30 minutes a day" goal, but some do.</p>
<p>A few years back, after the conclusion of the students' recital, one of the parents came up to my wife, visibly upset and agitated. She was angry that her daughter did not receive the trophy. My wife reminded her the trophy was for those students who met the practice goal for the year and her daughter did not. The mother acknowledged her daughter hadn't met the goal, but started shouting at my wife saying, "That trophy only costs about $5. I'd pay the money to get her one." My wife told the woman that the purpose of the practice goal was to help the children learn self-discipline and good study habits. The woman grabbed her daughter's hand and hurried out the door. Naturally, she did not bring her daughter back for more lessons - which was not a problem for my wife.</p>
<p>My wife and I talked about the incident later and felt sorry for that girl who would grow up without the opportunity to learn self-regulation or how to create structure in her own life. Sadly, I see more and more children who are subject to such upbringing. Hearing your comments provided a glimmer of hope there is at least one voice of reason on the air, somewhere. Keep it up!</p>
<p>Eric</p>
Staff
2013-12-16T19:15:00Z
The Importance of Intimacy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-of-Intimacy/-293429242234491331.html
2013-12-16T19:00:00Z
2013-12-16T19:00:00Z
<br />
<p>After listening to today's show with several callers not understanding the significance of several sex partners, I remembered an example that you might like. My Minister gave a sermon of the effects of being promiscuous that I thought was a great illustration. He had a small piece of carpet in one hand and a piece of duct tape affixed to cardboard in the other hand. He showed how, when he pressed them together, they really stuck well. As he pulled them apart and stuck the tape to another, then another piece of carpet, we all could see that the tape lost all its stickiness, illustrating how sex with a number of different partners can wear one down in several ways.</p>
<p>Marianna</p>
<br />
Staff
2013-12-16T19:00:00Z
When to Be Annoyed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-to-Be-Annoyed/465749362020044046.html
2013-12-13T19:14:00Z
2013-12-13T19:14:00Z
<br />Today I heard a call from a woman who was complaining that her husband traveled a lot and she was left with the household responsibilities and repairs that came up while he was away. Although she didn't blame her husband, she was still "annoyed." When you advised her that she shouldn't be annoyed, she asked, "Isn't it natural to be annoyed when things break or go wrong, so long as I don't complain to my husband?" When you said, "NO," she asked, "When can I be annoyed?" You gave the right answer, "When you get a bad diagnosis."<br /><br />Although I usually never get too annoyed in general and live a life of gratitude for all that I have, 2006 changed my life. My son, who was 28 at the time, and has had Crohn's disease since he was 12, suffered a perforated colon. Surgery was successful, yet sepsis set in. Severe complications followed: such as complete lung failure, various pneumonias, full kidney failure, 6 cardiac arrests, adrenal failure and more. He was ultimately diagnosed with multi-organ failure and was given "slim to no chances to live!" We were devastated. I am blessed to say my family received a miracle. After 71 days in the ICU at Cedars Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles and 111 days total in the hospital, my son came home. He faced a long recuperation, as he was severely out of condition. After 4 more hospitalizations in 2007, life returned to "normal." While he still has Crohn's disease (now under control) he is lucky that he suffers no side affects from all of the complications! <br /><br />Needless to say, this changed our lives. If I was grateful before, I became more grateful. If I rarely got annoyed before, now I never get annoyed! I don't get annoyed if I get a flat tire that cost $1500. I don't get annoyed if the dishwasher needs repairs. I don't get annoyed at anything! And if I find myself sweating the small stuff, it takes me about 2 seconds to say, "This does not matter!" So, in reply to this caller, I would advise her not to wait for a life-altering experience to cause her to stop being annoyed at the little things....be grateful you have those things that break! Be grateful for your health! It can be snatched away in a second...trust me!<br /><br />Cathy<br />
Staff
2013-12-13T19:14:00Z
Getting a Job
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Getting-a-Job/-704166993030757996.html
2013-12-13T19:00:00Z
2013-12-13T19:00:00Z
<br />Hi, Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My experience as a recruiter taught me what red flags to look for when hiring someone and what answers Human Resources wants to hear: <br /><br />1. Never say ANYTHING negative about your former employer. <br /><br />2. Never bring up vacation or sick days on the first interview.<br /><br />3. Be upbeat and positive about your current employer and your accomplishments there, especially how you added to their bottom line. Have a list prepared to give interviewer. <br /><br />4. Do your homework and research the company you're interviewing with. The more you know about their competitors, their goals and their challenges, the better informed you look. <br /><br />5. Be prepared for curve ball questions like "We have an employee from a different culture and her associates are complaining of her body odor. How would you handle speaking with her to correct the problem??" I was actually asked this on an interview and flunked the question.<br /><br />6. Smile a lot, sit tall, project an air of confidence. <br /><br />7. Send a handwritten thank-you note, thanking the person for their time and a brief summary of your qualifications that are pertinent to the job and what your work experience will add to this position. <br /><br />Hope the above info helps. I have been listening to your show for the past 2 years and can say I'm addicted. Your advice has helped me to always do the right thing…well almost always.<br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Rick <br /><br />
Staff
2013-12-13T19:00:00Z
The Honor I Have Had Being a Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Honor-I-Have-Had-Being-a-Mom/-317373522110544759.html
2013-12-12T18:11:00Z
2013-12-12T18:11:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura: <br /><br />I just heard your phone call with a woman who was complaining about all she had to do for her 2 1/2-year-old daughter after working all day. You read her the riot act and rightfully so. This hit me particularly hard in light of where I am in my journey as Mom. This past Friday night, I watched my 17-year-old son play his last football game. He is a senior and will be graduating next June. My heart broke as I realized this was just the first of the "lasts" we will experience with him this bittersweet year. You see, I have considered it an honor and a privilege to be my kids' mom. <br /><br />I have 2 beautiful young men for sons, senior and a freshman in high school. I hear you chastise people occasionally for saying that their kids are beautiful. But mine really are. They are not just beautiful physically, although they are both very handsome, but they are genuinely beautiful human beings...smart, responsible, kind, generous, loving, hard working and funny. I often receive compliments about the kind of young men they are. I don't take full credit for who they have turned out to be. I have a wonderful husband who has been a devoted and involved father. They have 2 sets of loving and interested grandparents, aunts and uncles, great teachers and coaches, and a church family. There have been many fine people who have invested in them. But the number one factor I believe that has helped shape who they are is that I was there.<br /><br />I worked the first 18 months of my oldest son's life and it was the most miserable time of my life. I always thought I would be the high-powered career woman, but when I saw that amazing, fat little boy, I wanted to be near him all the time. We figured out a way that I could be at home with him and his little brother when he came along. I took them to the park, taught them to play football and baseball in the front yard, watched them ride bikes and climb trees with their friends. We did art projects and baked at Christmas time. When it came time for them to go to school, I volunteered at the school. I knew all of their teachers by face and name even in high school and when things weren't right at the school, I made noise until they were fixed. Their dad coached their youth sports teams and was their Boy Scout leader. We taught Sunday School. We were not helicopter parents though. We taught them life lessons and let them earn their own way. But we were there for them. In a nutshell, while my husband and I love each other and spent time away from the kids periodically, we made raising our children our first priority. It was a sacrifice sometimes, but it was worth it. The first will be gone in a few months. The second will go not too long after that. My heart is breaking. I will enjoy the time my husband and I will have together to enjoy each other and our own pursuits, but nothing I have ever done, or will ever do, will compare to the honor I have had to be a mom.<br /><br />Catherine<br />
Staff
2013-12-12T18:11:00Z
Eat Less - Move More
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Eat-Less---Move-More/996651728378747519.html
2013-12-12T18:10:00Z
2013-12-12T18:10:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />First off - I love ya! Second - I love the shows where you tell us fat bastards to get off our butts and go for a walk. It took some nagging, but I'm proud to say I'm 180 lbs down through diet and exercise alone. Feel free to share my pics if it would help inspire anybody. Thank you again for whipping us wonderfully back into reality!<br /><br />Your "former huge fan",<br /><br />Aaron<br /><br /><img style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 5px;" src="/images/blog/aaron_weight_loss.jpg" alt="" /><br />
Staff
2013-12-12T18:10:00Z
Guns - To Have or Have Not
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Guns---To-Have-or-Have-Not/-996513423320660298.html
2013-12-11T19:15:00Z
2013-12-11T19:15:00Z
<br />Hi, Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I wanted to share what I've experienced with and without carrying a concealed weapon. I am 46, married, with 2 children. While my husband was away on business I was home on the farm secluded with woods surrounding when an attempt was made by an intruder to enter our home. Alone with small children, we hid in the closet with the phone for 45 min. before the sheriff arrived. The home alarm was sounding the entire time. Fortunately, the alarm must have caused the would-be intruder to leave. I can tell you that I was not thinking, "Gee, I wish I had a chair to protect us." As a former anti-gun enthusiast, I instantly became reformed. It was no easy matter as just holding a gun made me sick to my stomach and shake terribly. <br /><br />As a duty to protect my children, I took a concealed carry class and the appropriate training. I forced myself to endure the uncomfortable feelings of carrying a weapon because I simply could not live with the alternative. Had the intruder decided to stay, he could have done whatever he pleased, harming my children in indescribable ways, and it would have been my fault all because I didn't want to be "uncomfortable". <br /><br />Two more attempts were made at our home shortly after we prepared ourselves. I was home both times. I was scared, but ready. We spent the following days practicing our shooting here at the farm and then posted the shot up targets on trees around the perimeter of our land. <br /><br />Six years later we remain successful at deterring intruders while neighboring farms have been burglarized including a kidnapping to the bank. Today I carry a Kimber 45 - heavy and cumbersome - that I take everywhere I might need it. Yes, even while volunteering at my children's school. It is common sense that I don't leave a gun lying around, and keep it protected and out of reach from anyone but me. I have two safeties on it and no one knows I have it. I may never need it, but should I ever do, you can bet that every anti-gun person will be hiding behind me; thanking God that I am strong enough to make the sacrifices it took to be prepared. <br /><br />A.<br /><br />
Staff
2013-12-11T19:15:00Z
Why Men Stay in Bad Relationships
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Men-Stay-in-Bad-Relationships/-489626116739878222.html
2013-12-11T19:00:00Z
2013-12-11T19:00:00Z
<br />I started thinking of why I stayed in a neglectful and bad marriage. I believe my reasons were in this order: <br /><br />1. We had two teenage children that I didn't want to have visit. This just wasn't something I could accept. <br /><br />2. Financial uncertainties. But now looking back on it, one of the abuses of my wife was that she spent the lions' share of disposable income on herself. Once divorced, I came out ahead. I was able to pay off bills and save money. Plus I was more focused at work and therefore earned more. <br /><br />3. I projected my values, religious beliefs and ideas on to her, believing she shared my commitment and wanted what I wanted. <br /><br />4. Afraid of change. Looking back after the kids got to be 18 and we did divorce the change was so healthy for me, I wonder why this was a concern. <br /><br />5. Being alone. Again after the divorce, mixing in groups and meeting new friends, I realized how "alone" I actually was in the marriage.<br /><br />Michael<br /><br /><br />
Staff
2013-12-11T19:00:00Z
Family Support Analogy Using Knitting
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Family-Support-Analogy-Using-Knitting/143607139458194037.html
2013-12-10T19:52:00Z
2013-12-10T19:52:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I've recently become an avid listener to you - as well as becoming an avid knitter and crotcheter. I was working on a project and came across this blog and thought you might get a kick out of it. In my opinion, the author is a fantastic knitter and writer - always inventive with her analogies and metaphors. The article I came across today is how stitch "families" help keep - or interfere with - the stability of other stitches. The whole post is great how knitting is like opera. I am also a classical singer, so this also reeled me in - particularly as I don't enjoy singing opera because I'm unable to willingly sustain the suspension of disbelief that she so aptly describes. If you don't have time to read the whole thing, the most pertinent part is <em>Part 2: WHY KNITTING IS LIKE SOAP OPERA</em>: The sad tale of NORM who has the support of his family and WANDA and LON who do not. <a href="http://techknitting.blogspot.com/2007/10/opera-and-soap-opera-how-to-knit-better.html" target="_blank">Here is the link</a>. </p>
<p>Victoria</p>
Staff
2013-12-10T19:52:00Z
Children on the Side
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Children-on-the-Side/731028099852616841.html
2013-12-10T19:44:00Z
2013-12-10T19:44:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Thank you for encouraging mothers to stay at home and raise their children and for reminding them that being a MOTHER is such an important responsibility. Over the past 20 plus years coaching ice skating one on one, I have had the privilege of knowing many great mothers. Just the same I am sad to say I've also known many other mothers with good intentions who seem to have a career with a family "on the side" as I put it. It's been my observation that it is not uncommon for children from families where the mother fits the children into HER schedule and around HER career to often mistakenly refer to ME as "Mommy", "MaMa" or "Mom". This saddens me and I never tell the parents, but I do correct the children. These children are kept "busy" and out of the parents' "way" so the parents can accomplish THEIR goals first and foremost. These mothers need to be told, "Anyone could do your job, but only YOU can be your child's MOM. Please do so responsibly and know what a blessing it is because before you know it they will be grown and out the door."</p>
<p>Thank you for your work and sharing your insight.</p>
<p>Charlene</p>
Staff
2013-12-10T19:44:00Z
Grateful for a Second Chance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Grateful-for-a-Second-Chance/-365098758253163027.html
2013-12-09T18:58:00Z
2013-12-09T18:58:00Z
<br />
<p>For the first time in my more than 50 years on the face of this earth, I had a real Thanksgiving. Of course, I've always celebrated the fourth Thursday in November with family, friends, football, parades, turkey and way too much eating. But this year was different - this year the focus was not on food, but on actually giving thanks. Why? Because six months ago I was diagnosed with diabetes. Not "pre-diabetes," but the actual pricking your finger every morning to monitor your sugar levels, taking medicines, and changing your eating and lifestyle kind of diabetes. I am not alone. More than 8 percent of the U.S. population - that's about 26 million people - also have diabetes. For me, the diagnosis came unexpectedly, and was one for which I would never have imagined I would be thankful. But truly I am. In the past six months I have learned how to monitor my glucose levels, what my A1c levels mean, what to eat and when to eat it, the need for exercise and the importance of making and keeping regular doctor appointments. I have learned sugar and carbohydrates are not my friends. I have learned losing more than 80 pounds has been good for my diabetes as well as for my knees. I have come to realize that how I take care of the inside of me is much more important than what I look like on the outside.</p>
<p>All of which leads me to this: gone from my Thanksgiving celebration this year were the candied yams, the mountains of stuffing and mashed potatoes, and the pumpkin pie with gobs of whipped cream. Of course I made all of that for the guests I entertained that day, but I did not partake. Instead, I substituted overeating with gratitude. And, what was I thankful for? First and foremost: my health. I used to take for granted what feeling good and being healthy really meant. Not anymore. I know well-being is a gift from God that needs to be appreciated, safeguarded, and treasured. I am thankful that I can show God that I do indeed value my health. I am thankful for my doctor. She not only discovered I was diabetic, but took the time to explain to me what my diagnosis meant and to teach me what I can and cannot eat. She impressed on me the seriousness with which I must confront this disease. She and her team of nurses have done an excellent job of monitoring my health. They have done an even better job of cajoling, encouraging and sometimes even threatening me to change my unhealthy behavior. I am thankful for family and friends who have shown their care and concern for me. They offer well-meaning advice. They inquire as to how I am feeling. They remained loyal as I experienced a gamut of emotions processing and coming to terms with my diabetes. I am thankful for this second chance at feeling better and living a longer life.</p>
<p>Richard</p>
Staff
2013-12-09T18:58:00Z
After Divorce, Don't Date
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/After-Divorce,-Dont-Date/732865799958505772.html
2013-12-09T18:43:00Z
2013-12-09T18:43:00Z
<br />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>After listening to you for 4-6 hours a day on podcast, it really hit me how bad my past mistakes were. I wanted to share an email I sent to my 23-year-old daughter today, hoping that someone would benefit from the horrible mistakes I made after divorcing my daughter's father. I can't change the past, but I hope this will touch the heart of a divorced parent so they don't make the same horrible mistakes I did. - Suzanne</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Dear Beautiful Daughter,</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">I apologize that it took me so long to finally have this insight, but it's never too late to say... "I am sorry." I laid my head on the pillow last night and wept. I woke up and still felt just as sad. It finally hit me how bad my decisions were and how it affected you, ultimately. I know we kind of had this conversation a short time ago, that I ignored the signs and married badly. However, YOU were the true blessing out of that. What really hit me was the other huge mistakes I made following my divorce. If I could turn back the clock, I would have NEVER dated or re-married until you were 18. I put you through 2 divorces and ultimately moved away from you for a 3rd man!!!!!!!!! This is reprehensible to me now. As a mother, I owed you a childhood and a mommy. I failed at both when you were going through your childhood. This weighs so heavy on my heart and am in tears right now. I can not change the past, but I am thankful I have finally learned from my mistakes. Unfortunately, I am sure you still suffer from the damage this has caused you. This is the hardest part for me. But it is NOT about ME anymore. I deeply hurt you to the core and I own up to it. Some day, I hope you find peace. I love you enough to humble myself. I love you so very much. <br /><br />Forever and ever, <br /><br />Mommy</p>
Staff
2013-12-09T18:43:00Z
Leave Abuse!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Leave-Abuse!/151834463217090514.html
2013-12-06T19:15:00Z
2013-12-06T19:15:00Z
<br />I was in a 14 year marriage where I was verbally and emotionally abused, and also with threats from him to kill me and then himself with a gun. Several times during that marriage we separated, but my "x" always said the right thing to make me take him back. I always thought he would change. Silly I know. <br /><br />I am a professional woman and struggled with the idea of going to counseling. Finally one day, I took the opportunity to go to a counselor through a program at work. After 45 minutes with this counselor, she handed me paperwork on domestic abuse. I couldn't understand why she gave it to me. I took it home, and after I read through the information, I realized 75% of what I read was my daily life. From that day forward, I knew there was no one who could help me break away from the abuse but myself. I spent 3 more months in counseling and one day in June of 2002, I asked for a divorce. Needless to say, he was shocked. He had lost control of me. <br /><br />I will never forget one thing he said to me. "You are not the same person you used to be." My response was, "And I will never be that person again." I had gotten stronger and realized I was not stupid, an idiot, worthless, a c--- as I heard so many times. Never would I have to hear him say, "Married life sucks. I want a girlfriend. I want to be single." He got his wish. With that said, 6 years later I wanted to give back to those who helped me and I trained to become an advocate for A Safe Place in New Hampshire and run weekly support group meetings for women who are currently in an abusive relationship or are out and trying to move forward in life. It is the pinnacle of my week!<br /><br />A.<br />
Staff
2013-12-06T19:15:00Z
A Moment from the Past
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Moment-from-the-Past/-898240481496383764.html
2013-12-06T19:00:00Z
2013-12-06T19:00:00Z
<br />Hello. I took this photo of you holding my daughter 9 years ago! It has taken me this long to send to you. Hope you receive it. <br /><br />Thanks for all that you do. <br /><br />Alix<br /><br /><img style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 5px;" src="/images/blog/9_years_ago.jpg" alt="" /><br />
Staff
2013-12-06T19:00:00Z
Motherhood as a Career
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Motherhood-as-a-Career/76717843224696033.html
2013-12-05T18:09:00Z
2013-12-05T18:09:00Z
<br /><strong>Nannette:</strong><br />As a SAHM of 2 grown "kids," I have often been faced with statements sounding a lot like "Motherhood isn't a career" or the more common and more subtle, "Oh, she's JUST staying at home." I have always responded enthusiastically with something that shuts them up instantly every time. It's always an appropriate variation of this:<br />
<blockquote><strong>"You are so right about that. Motherhood is so much more than a career. It's a vocation...or even a higher calling. And no one's allowed to ease into it from the ground floor. You start as CEO with foot to the floor. What a rush."</strong></blockquote>
<br /><strong>Krystal:</strong><br />No. Motherhood is NOT a career. It's a responsibility of life if you have kids. That's it.<br /><br /><strong>Fiona:</strong><br />If someone said to me "Motherhood isn't a career" I would have to say I agree with them. Motherhood is a RELATIONSHIP. One that will largely determine what kind of people one's children turn out to be. It is a relationship that requires a long and devoted commitment if one is to be successful at doing it. So is it a "job" or "career"? No. Is it work? Most emphatically YES! Hopefully a labor of love - no pun intended - that one chooses and jumps into wholeheartedly. If women aren't prepared to sacrifice for bearing and raising children, I wish they wouldn't do it. Stick to a job or career...leave the real work of raising children to people who REALLY want to do it. In other words, please do the RIGHT thing. <br /><br /><strong>Melanie:</strong><br />If someone told me motherhood was not a career, I'd say, "You're right - it's not A career - it's about 12 of them, all at the same time!" And then I would add the person who said it to my mental, "not worth the time" file.<br /><br /><strong>Kathleen:</strong><br />I am 45 and was raised in the Gloria Steinem era, when SAHM's were denigrated and made to feel unworthy. My mother sent me and my sisters to day care and I hated every second I was there. We were the last to be picked up. I was always hungry. And I was very uncomfortable because I was not in my loving sanctuary with my mom - I was in a STRANGER'S HOME. I tried to voice concerns numerous times, but they were dismissed. So to all of you who think day care is just great, I would argue you are deluding yourself. Being a stay-at-home mother is the most important job there is. How dare someone who isn't even a mother herself criticize the choice of a stay-at-home mother!<br />
Staff
2013-12-05T18:09:00Z
Verbal Flowers of Appreciation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Verbal-Flowers-of-Appreciation/-29274258520695985.html
2013-12-05T18:08:00Z
2013-12-05T18:08:00Z
<br />Years ago, I noticed my Aunt Louise always referred to Uncle Bob as "my best friend". She never said anything bad or negative about him and gave him no corrections in front of others. So I watched, learned, and practiced. <br /><br />I now introduce my beloved as "the love of my life". I tell him how handsome he is to me. I say, "thank you", and "please", and make it a point to comment on things he does for us and others that make the world better. With 52 years of marriage, I wish I had figured it out earlier, before the crisis that nearly caused a divorce, but I thank God for second chances. He brings me flowers, and tonight is grilling steak just for us. I recommend constant verbal flowers of appreciation. They are healing and build love.<br /><br />Ruth
Staff
2013-12-05T18:08:00Z
A Wonderful Testament on Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Wonderful-Testament-on-Marriage/645553727760869643.html
2013-12-04T19:00:00Z
2013-12-04T19:00:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I thought you would enjoy this. It's a beautiful testament to the wonderfulness of a good marriage. - Amy<em> </em>
<p><iframe width="560" frameborder="0" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/WNfvuJr9164" height="349"></iframe></p>
Staff
2013-12-04T19:00:00Z
When My Son Became a Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-My-Son-Became-a-Man/451381381320657601.html
2013-12-04T18:59:00Z
2013-12-04T18:59:00Z
<br />I have two boys and three girls and I do remember when my last child became a man. My son and his girlfriend became pregnant when he was 15 and she was 17. He wanted her to put the baby up for adoption and their disagreement caused them to split up. My little granddaughter was born while my son was 16 and Mom was 18. He fell in love with his little daughter. The parents finished high school while all 4 grandparents shared taking care of the baby. <br /><br />When baby was 4 years old, Mom and Dad made a commitment to each other and married. Against all odds of teenage pregnancy, they are still together 12 years later and he has a successful job. They own their own home, and have 2 more children. All are very happy. <br /><br />I have to say my son took on the weight of the world at 16 and focused on what was best for his baby. Because they were both from 2-parent homes, I do believe that is what they wanted for their child, too. <br /><br />Janet
Staff
2013-12-04T18:59:00Z
Nice Is Not the Same as Good
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Nice-Is-Not-the-Same-as-Good/-249083798427496259.html
2013-12-03T20:30:00Z
2013-12-03T20:30:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am so sick and tired of the counterfeit benevolence of people who suggest we should "throw a chair" at a home invader or the "war is not the answer" crowd. While masquerading as kind and benevolent, it is the Neville Chamberlains of the world who shout "peace in our time" that cause more death and suffering by allowing evil to proliferate; not the Winston Churchills who choose to stand against it. <br /><br />It amazes me how many people confuse nice with good, but I do believe I understand, at least in part, why this is the case. Being nice allows people to feel good without being good. People often choose acceptance from others over doing what is right. Those who are nice, whether they know it or not, are taking a short cut. Nice requires little or no moral fiber, little or no commitment, and little or no courage. Good requires all of the above and is often maligned for doing so. Good never exists in the form of benevolence alone. There are more charities, more diplomats, and more cries for peace than ever. Meanwhile, there is more crime and as much conflict as there has ever been because people are more willing to negotiate with evil than they are to defeat it. <br /><br />Columnist George Will once said that effective foreign policy requires heads of state to understand that even diplomacy has its limitations. When my daughter was young and other children would come to visit, the inevitable event of another child getting aggressive would occur. My wife would tell my daughter not to hit back, but to come and tell her; yet the behavior would continue. When I caught wind of it, I told my daughter to whack the kid back harder. My wife didn't like the idea so I asked her, "Do you want your daughter to have a father or two mothers?" She agreed to allow our daughter to defend herself and no surprise, the hitting stopped. <br /><br />I am thankful for your program and for all of the criticism and maligning you have endured over the years because it convinces me of one simple truth: you are not "nice," but you are good. <br /><br />Many Blessings to you, Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Steve<br /><em></em>
Staff
2013-12-03T20:30:00Z
The Stupid-ification of Men
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Stupid-ification-of-Men/-112104399811816848.html
2013-12-03T19:00:00Z
2013-12-03T19:00:00Z
<br />I read this article written by a young 20-something woman, and I think she hit the nail on the head: <strong><a href="http://www.ldsmag.com/article/1/13564" target="_blank">The Stupid-ification of Men</a></strong>. As you have been preaching - and I have been teaching my kids - choose wisely, treat kindly! <br /><br />Thanks for all you do! <br /><br />Heidi <br /><em></em>
Staff
2013-12-03T19:00:00Z
Sometimes the Rules Need to Be Broken
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sometimes-the-Rules-Need-to-Be-Broken/-923254961784385395.html
2013-12-02T19:15:00Z
2013-12-02T19:15:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />A few days ago, while we were driving home from yet another specialist appointment in a city a few hours from home, my 16-year-old son and I were listening to your program on SiriusXM radio. <br /><br />There was a caller on the line who was describing an incident that took place at her son's school. Her son was a victim of bullying and she and her husband taught him to fight back despite the consequences he would face with his school. We only caught the last part of this conversation as we began the drive. My son, who has a neurologic disorder called neurofibromatosis, has a very straightforward way of looking at the world. He listens to rules and he follows them. Not only does he follow them, but he tries to make sure that everyone around him follows them too. He has difficulty with flexible thinking. <br /><br />I took the opportunity to have a conversation with him about the call. I explained that I felt, as you and the caller did, that a person should always defend himself against a bully even though he might get in trouble with the school. As I suspected he would, my son adamantly defended that the school had its rules for a reason and that it is never ok to break rules that are there for your safety. No matter how I tried to get him to understand, he would not budge, so I left it alone for the time being. <br /><br />Yesterday afternoon, I was catching up with some of the calls of the day on your website. Lo and behold, the call referenced above was <a href="/pg/jsp/charts/audioMaster.jsp?dispid=306&pid=97807" target="_self"><strong>posted</strong></a> and I was able to hear it in its entirety. When you sited the example about the college students in their dorm, I knew I might be able to reach my son after all. I called him to come into the room and listen to the call. He was reluctant, but complied and when it ended, we talked again. As I mentioned earlier, flexible thinking is not easy for this child. I knew it was a long shot, but so desperately wanted him to understand this for his own safety in life, so I asked him if he felt the college kids should have been expelled. He immediately said, "No, they were defending themselves and it was a life or death situation." I said, "But they broke the rules, shouldn't they be punished?" He repeated his previous thought and that is when I asked him how that was different from defending yourself from a bully in school. He could not come up with an answer! He finally saw the point and understood that his father and I would always support him against anyone, in any situation, who told him he could not defend himself. He got it!!! I couldn't be happier. Thank you Dr. Laura, for finding a way to explain this to him. <br /><br />My son also has some difficulty understanding social cues and body language. He does not always know when someone is being mean to him. I have often worried that he would get picked on and have feared that he would not fight back. Now I can be sure that he gets it and he will do the right thing. <br /><br />Fondly, <br /><br />Connie <br /><em></em>
Staff
2013-12-02T19:15:00Z
Why is a Ship Called She?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-is-a-Ship-Called-She/-517726472805888232.html
2013-12-02T19:00:00Z
2013-12-02T19:00:00Z
<br />Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />My sister is in the coast guard and saw this posted. Since you also sail thought you might get a kick out of it. - Tammy<br /><br /><em>A ship is called a 'she' because there is always a great deal of bustle around her;</em><br /><em>There is usually a gang of men about;<br />She has a waist and stays;</em><br /><em>It takes a lot of paint to keep her good looking;</em><br /><em>It is not the initial expense that breaks you, it’s the upkeep;</em><br /><em>She can be all decked out;It takes an experienced man to handle her correctly;</em><br /><em>And without a man at the helm, she is absolutely uncontrollable.</em><br /><br /><em>She shows her topsides, hides her bottom, and when coming into port, always heads for the buoys.</em><br /><br /><em>Love her, take good care of her, and she shall take good care of you.<br /><br /><img style="margin: 5px auto; display: block;" src="/images/blog/vintage_ship.jpg" alt="" /></em>
Staff
2013-12-02T19:00:00Z
My Child Was the Bully!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Child-Was-the-Bully!/885730391250577740.html
2013-11-26T19:15:00Z
2013-11-26T19:15:00Z
<br />
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I will start out by saying my child did not act wonderful, sweet or cute at school yesterday. So this is not another "My child is beautiful and perfect" email. This email will confirm that my child will grow up to become a beautiful and wonderful man. I give you partial credit.</p>
<p>Many times the subject of school bullying has come up on your program. The best way to stop bullying is to file a police report. That thought never occurred to me -- yes, stupid parent alert so I appreciate your wisdom on this subject. Never did I think MY child would be the one that would need to be reported. Below is the letter I received from my child's school yesterday and my reply. Thanks to your wisdom, there will be one less bully. My child knows that when his mother makes a threat she ALWAYS follows through. When I explained to my son that if this ever happened again he would not have to worry about losing recess privileges or any privileges at home, his eyes lit up. I said, "The school and your parents will not have a chance to take privileges away from you. We will visit the police station and they can take them from you." His eyes lost the "I got away with it" glow. I asked "If someone hurt me what would I do?" He said, "Call the police." I said, "You are no different. If you hit someone, you should have the police called on you. This will protect others from getting hurt." We have never discussed bullying in our home so that is the only reason he got off with a warning. I explained that to him, too. I told him, "I love you very much, but I will take all actions necessary. I was a victim of a bully when I was young and I wished someone would have taken that bully and locked her up." He started crying. I continued, "If you do not listen to your teachers or parents, I will have no choice but to contact the police who will force you to listen." I have never seen my son turn white so fast. He promised he would never be a bully again. I looked him straight in the eyes and said, "That promise needs to be made to yourself, not me. You are the one who will sleep in a jail cell at night, not me. That kid you hurt could be called as a witness someday to put you in jail, should this happen again."</p>
<p>Thanks to listening to your show, I was an empowered mother who handled a tough situation with ease. More mothers should follow suit. If you ever get another email from me it will be to let you know I filed a police report on my child. The look on his face last night told me...you won't be getting one.</p>
<p>Thank you.</p>
<p>Breanna</p>
<p> </p>
<p>P.S. - My husband was impressed at how his girlfriend handled the situation; So thanks for that as well.</p>
<p> </p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Note from school:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">E. was involved in an incident at lunch recess today. He was caught kicking another student on the top of the hill. I talked to him about his behavior during his afternoon recess. As a result of his actions, he is no longer allowed to play on the hill during recess. I reviewed the rules of KHAFOOTY (Keep Hands And Feet and Other Objects to Yourself) and the 1-2-3 Rule (1. Ask to Stop 2. Walk Away 3. Tell an Adult) with him. Please review the rules and sign stating you have discussed this behavior with him. If you have any questions, feel free to email or call me. Thank you!</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"> </p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Note from Mom:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">I have told E. that bullying will not be permitted in our house. If I ever hear of him harming a child again, I will contact the police department and they can tell him what happens to people when they do bodily harm to others. I think after our talk you will notice Ethan will keep his hands and feet to himself.</p>
Staff
2013-11-26T19:15:00Z
Never Too Late to Become Your Own Person
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Never-Too-Late-to-Become-Your-Own-Person/-344283709089946881.html
2013-11-26T19:00:00Z
2013-11-26T19:00:00Z
<br />
<p>Based on what my parents did to me as a child, the hardest thing to overcome as an adult was to learn how to think for myself. The underlying message of my house-hold was never to think for yourself - to never have a dream or desire of your own. Everything was already predetermined by my parents. My job was to obey. My mother determined who I would be, what I would do, how I was suppose to feel, think, behave and believe. My ideas and dreams were all discounted and corrected and my dad supported her.</p>
<p>Upon going to college, my goal was to look for someone to pick up where my mother left off and tell me who I was and create a meaningful existence for me because it wasn’t okay to choose that for myself. I was never to trust my own instincts because others knew more about what was right for me than I did. I found the perfect match; a man who needed to dominate and control. I submitted to his will, as I had my mother's, and he took me down a wild ride for many years. I had to learn how to think for myself or remain his punching bag. I choose to grow up. It was a long, arduous path that took years, but I did it. I learned to think for myself and stand on my own two feet, to claim my own power and choose the direction of my own life.</p>
<p>I have not received any accolades from my family, but as I see other siblings stuck in marriages with abusive spouses thinking they're doing the right thing by "sticking it out," I will happily let them criticize me. I am living proof it is never too late to claim your own power and become your own person.</p>
<p>Helen</p>
Staff
2013-11-26T19:00:00Z
My Life's Work IS My Career
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Lifes-Work-IS-My-Career/18146059961200582.html
2013-11-25T18:52:00Z
2013-11-25T18:52:00Z
<br />
<p>My response to someone who says motherhood isn't a career is the following:<br /><br />I would say, this is why I disagree with you... as a former art teacher who LOVED my job, I knew it was time for a career change after I had my first son. I went back to work "part-time" and had my mom and husband to help. One day at school after spending a lot of time and giving helpful guidance to a teen who needed to make-up work, I was struck with a thought. What I was doing was expending valuable emotional and physical energy that I needed later that day to deal with my 1-year-old, and my husband. Things were becoming so fragmented. I was trying to do a good job at both of my life's pursuits, and neither was getting the attention they deserved. I decided my family would be my new full-time career and resigned from my beloved job, which I have NEVER once regretted! <br /><br />This career I have chosen includes helping people with problems, teaching them life skills, managing schedules and budgets, planning social events, not to mention helping to clean, keep up and maintain a home. It also requires cooking skills, learning new things and teaching a love of learning, and recreation. My career also includes giving and receiving lots of love and offering support, time and devotion to the people who are most important to me. For now...this is my life's work. One's life work IS their career.<br /><br />Mindy</p>
Staff
2013-11-25T18:52:00Z
Living With Integrity
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Living-With-Integrity/-614971277218484369.html
2013-11-25T18:50:00Z
2013-11-25T18:50:00Z
<br />
<p>Dr. Laura, <br /><br />This passage about integrity reminded me of you - Peace, Andrea<br /><br />"...Thomas Aquinas says the experience of beauty always involves 'integrity.' Integrity is not something we create or acquire; it is being faithful to 'who' and 'what' we are. 'Who' and 'what' we are has been given to us, by God. We are God’s 'image.' Thus, at the core of our souls is profound beauty—a perpetual mirroring of God’s infinite beauty. We are not called to look beautiful, but to BE beautiful; not by having perfect bodies or perfect smiles or perfect personalities, but by living with integrity—which is being faithful to our deepest, most essential selves; because our deepest, most essential self is overflowing with beauty, God’s Beauty. by Craig Bullock"</p>
Staff
2013-11-25T18:50:00Z
When Kids Don't Behave
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-Kids-Dont-Behave/413411417376763841.html
2013-11-22T19:15:00Z
2013-11-22T19:15:00Z
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<p>Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />After hearing call after call from moms who cannot let go, I felt like I needed to write. My first-born son was the joy of my life. I loved being a mom and I was determined to do it "right," meaning I would be the mom I had longed for my mom to be to me. He was extremely strong-willed, but I told him from day one, I am your mom, not your friend. <br /><br />Without going into detail, life was not easy. My husband was a musician, I was a nurse. I worked nights so that I could be home for my son. We moved to Nashville, my husband eventually gave up the music gig and life was good. But my son was difficult. He refused to work in school; in fact he refused to do anything he didn't want to do. He was bright, but unmotivated. Through the years, we had him tested, he had counseling, he went through a wilderness program, we homeschooled him, he went to private school, and we placed him in boarding school. Nothing worked. Through all of this, he continued to pay the consequences for his behavior. <br /><br />One Friday morning, my husband found our son sitting in his car in a cloud of smoke. Upon rolling down the window, my husband was assaulted with the smell of weed. His butt was marched to juvenile hall, were he spent the entire weekend locked up. Monday morning he came before the judge in an orange jumpsuit and shackles. At 17, we kicked him out of the house because he would not abide by our house rules. He was welcomed home once he conformed. One big rule was: you have to graduate high school. We told him, you will not live on our sofa and be a parasite. If you have no desire to go to college, get a job, and get your own place. Our son worked menial jobs for minimum wage for less then a year before he decided this would not work. He went to the Navy recruitment office and enlisted. He was signed on to become an Arabic linguist.....this is how high he tested. He was able to complete about 6 months of training before he found out that he did not get his security clearance. I don't know - maybe his past coming to bite him? <br /><br />Today, at 24 years old, my son is a Navy Corpsman. After his clearance was denied, the biggest compliment I received from him was, "Mom, I know you did everything you did because you love me. I don't blame you for anything in my life that hasn't worked out. I know I have to take responsibility." I am so proud of my son. I love him, and have always loved him with all my heart. I suffered through as much anguish as he did all the times he had to pay the price of his choices. I paid as dearly as he paid. But I wouldn't change anything. I am his mom, not his friend. And this is about him becoming all he is meant to be, it's not about me. <br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura for spurring us on to do the right thing. <br /><br />Michelle</p>
Staff
2013-11-22T19:15:00Z
Gracious and Humble
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Gracious-and-Humble/-513181327494325064.html
2013-11-22T19:00:00Z
2013-11-22T19:00:00Z
<br />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I would like to tell you about a life lesson I learned as a young girl. From the time I was five and could write, the day after each birthday, Christmas or other event at which I received a gift, I was made to stay in my room all day until I wrote a thank you note to each person who gave me a gift. This included writing out the envelope and everything. I HATED it! I wanted to be playing with my new toys or modeling my new clothes or taking my money to the bank. But NO, I had to sit and write thank you notes! <br /><br />Well, now I am several decades older and I have to tell you I never receive a gift or attend an event without writing a thank you note. And I am not talking e-mail, I mean handwritten -- with a pen on lovely, heavy, creamy, personal embossed stationery. I always write my notes the next day. In fact, sometimes I lay out the paper and pen before I leave for the event and write the note that night before I go to bed. That way it's all fresh in my mind. I can't tell you how happy people are to receive a handwritten note in the mail. Sometimes I get a thank you call merely for my thank you! Writing thank you notes reminds me to be gracious and humble. Gracious for the gifts, meals or fellowship I have received, and humble that someone thought enough of me to give them. It's a win-win. Funny enough, I almost never receive a thank you note for things I give. I guess not all those people had a mother like mine. And I guess my children will probably experience the same. It's no matter, I am happy to know that I have taught them the way my mother taught me. <br /><br />Blessings to you, <br /><br />Elisabeth</p>
Staff
2013-11-22T19:00:00Z
Time to Take on Adulthood
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Time-to-Take-on-Adulthood/332756566034285331.html
2013-11-21T19:15:00Z
2013-11-21T19:15:00Z
<br />
<p>The culture of extended childhood has gone too far. The reason kids are becoming mature so late is they have no responsibility and have not developed the ability to make decisions. I started working at 12, was mostly self-supporting by 15 and left home at 17. <br /><br />My kids did not have the degree of hardship I did, but we homeschooled and I sent them to a local college between the ages of 14 and 15 depending on the maturity of the child. My daughter finished qualifications for high school a year early, and took a gap year between age 17 and 18, then enrolled in college on a scholarship as a transfer student because her school of choice cost more than her college fund. She will graduate a few months after she turns 21 and has her own apartment, and has lived on her own since age 18. My oldest was not launching fast enough, got booted out and is now a Marine living in Japan. The baby is serving a 2 year church mission in Norway and is 18. <br /><br />Kids are given too much work and responsibility in the grade schools years and too little from middle school on. My kids had it easy little, but at age 12 the party was over. They each had jobs and the little one worked construction to help pay for his mission. When I say little one, he weighs 110 pounds at best and worked as a framer. He was working for a Marine who gave him no quarter and he learned to really man up. He was in serious pain the first few weeks and is a hard core martial artist so he is no wimp. Suddenly his desire to go to college has increased. I know it is controversial, but working a real job promotes an understanding of the outside world and real feedback. Employers don't care about self esteem. <br /><br />The oldest told me having me as a mother made Marine boot camp easy. He said the little spoiled kiddies who had never heard they were messing up had a very hard time. Not that long ago 15 year olds were taking on adulthood. The reason the kids are not developing is because there is no need. It is like thinking people can get strong without some sweat and effort. <br /><br />Liz</p>
Staff
2013-11-21T19:15:00Z
Second Marriage Failures
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Second-Marriage-Failures/337914795621593449.html
2013-11-21T19:00:00Z
2013-11-21T19:00:00Z
<br />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Many of the second marriages that I have watched fail were due to only the spouse's name being changed. Behaviors were still exactly the same. Although I heard from more than one that Mr. Right#2 was in no way similar to Mr. Right#1 before the marriage; I would hear in the months after Mr. Right#2 would leave his smelly socks on the bed, toilet seat up, and all the other complaints I heard about Right#1. Often a few new complaints were tossed in. Of course the reverse was also true with Mrs. Right#2 was always too something and always nagging, which is what got Mrs. Right#1 put to the curb. <br /><br />The other common thread was the idea that "I was not the major part in the 1st marriage failing. That was my ex's fault." "If only she would not have done ___ we'd still be married." Amazingly, these people said the exact same thing after divorce #2. <br /><br />We must make changes in ourselves to become better marriage partners. Then there is the realization that the person you are going to be getting married to is on their best behavior in trying to court you. Don't expect it to get any better than this just because there is a ring on your finger. If you must change someone, change yourself. You will fail in historic fashion if you attempt to change your future partner. If they is not what you want right out of the box, be nice and tell them, it's been interesting getting to know you, but we are not right for each other. Lastly, don't fear being alone. If you cannot stand to live with yourself, how in the world can you expect to have someone else live with you? <br /><br />Shelley</p>
Staff
2013-11-21T19:00:00Z
Bull Elephant Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bull-Elephant-Dad/-934925149923599297.html
2013-11-20T19:15:00Z
2013-11-20T19:15:00Z
<br />
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have been married to the same woman for 24 years and am an avid listener of over 15 years. We have raised two amazing boys who are now 23 and 19 and I'm just finishing up with raising my daughter who is 17. I grew up with an absent step-father and no bio-dad. When my wife can't listen in to your program I often share your thoughts and advice with her. After discussing the need for a "bull elephant" father in raising our boys, I received this note from my wife:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">"I didn't fully understand the need for a 'bull elephant' until our own boys needed one. I guess mainly because in my house growing up my mom did it ALL and my dad was just around for vacations. I have seen this need to be so true in the life of our boys and never more so than when our boys were serving their two-year missions for the LDS church. How blest they are, as am I, to have you as such a great influence, example, guide, and mentor. You're honestly the best. I'm sorry you didn't really have a "bull elephant" father - we both got a little gypped in that area, but how happy it makes me that our kids have been blest abundantly by having the best dad in the world. If dads everywhere would step up even just a little, our world would be a totally different place. How sad that men are so invisible and not a dominant figure in their families anymore. Hugs and Kisses! Love, ME"</p>
<p>Thanks, Dr. Laura for helping me become the "bull elephant" I am and helping my wife and me raise two amazing new "bull elephant" sons who know how to treat women, and a daughter who knows her worth and will never become an "unpaid whore".</p>
<p>With admiration,</p>
<p>Brendan</p>
Staff
2013-11-20T19:15:00Z
Becoming an Adult
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Becoming-an-Adult/36056715736903361.html
2013-11-20T19:00:00Z
2013-11-20T19:00:00Z
<br />
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>It always seems that whatever I seem to be struggling with at the time you have a show about it.</p>
<p>I am a 38-year-old happily-married woman with 9 and 5-year-old boys who stays home to raise them, but most of the time still feels like a little girl. As I was growing up I had the magic number of 25 in my head for some reason that I would suddenly "become and adult". Well, that didn't happen. I still felt like I was 16. Then 30 rolled around....still felt and even sometimes acted like I was 16. 35 came about.....a little bit better, but still not there. Two weeks ago after a night of drinking way too much with friends and upsetting some people because of it, I had an epiphany. I think I knew it all along, but didn't want to admit it. Becoming an adult isn't something that HAPPENS to us, it is a CHOICE we make. I need to choose to stop playing the victim, stop listening to my whiny feelings, start ACTING and stop REACTING. I always seem to be cleaning up my messes and playing catch up. It's time to not let the messes happen in the first place. Choosing to be an adult means tough choices, smart choices and selfless choices. It also means telling your "demons" to shut the hell up finally!! It's time for me to take charge and stop letting things just "happen".</p>
<p>I would never have come to this realization without you. Thank you Dr. Laura...my husband and children thank you too.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Regan</p>
<br />
Staff
2013-11-20T19:00:00Z
What Is It About Women Not Calling the Police on Their Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Is-It-About-Women-Not-Calling-the-Police-on-Their-Kids/-961982985640983696.html
2013-11-19T19:17:00Z
2013-11-19T19:17:00Z
<br />We came home one day and saw that my bolted down handgun safe in the closet was preyed up and gone, leaving the damaged floor behind. I summoned my wife. She said, "We were burglarized." "No," I responded, "our son took it." I convinced her to follow me down to his Arby's Restaurant job, where I told the manager I needed to speak with my son. He told me I could come back at the end of his shift, to which I replied, "Here are your options. I'm going to hop over this counter and grab my son by the collar, or you can go ask him to come meet with his parents right now for 5 minutes." He chose door No. 2. A long story made short: I told our son I wanted only 2 questions answered right then and we would settle up later on the entire matter. 1) Where is the gun? 2.) Who else was involved? The denial was of course, classic, as was the visit later from the deputy. He confessed to the police, plead guilty to theft, and was sentenced. <br /><br />But, here's the problem. This happened 10 years ago and to this day my wife regrets supporting me. The son, remains a knucklehead, and one can only imagine the correlation between his adult criminal behaviors and his dysfunctional parents who could not come together on such a basic form of discipline early on. I believe my wife has a distorted understanding of what it takes to be "liked" by your children and the relative non-importance of that altogether. She thinks that calling the police is always too extreme. My insistence that the jails are filled with people whose parents echo that sentiment falls on deaf ears. It is baffling to me. What's even more remarkable is that our adult children struggle with their mother in a meaningful relationship and without saying so give every indication that they wouldn't hesitate themselves to call the police on their own kids, if warranted. Lastly, I am incredulous to learn of the number of otherwise reasonable female friends of my wife who give tacit approval to this idea of NEVER turning in your own. I don't know of a man in my circle of acquaintances who feels same. What is it about women?? <br /><br />Larry<br />
Staff
2013-11-19T19:17:00Z
Raising a Special Needs Child
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-a-Special-Needs-Child/30166234439247433.html
2013-11-19T19:00:00Z
2013-11-19T19:00:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have a now 13-year-old son with Asperger's syndrome. I have done everything possible to ensure the greatest likelihood of his independent future. I have secured services for him since the age of 18 months. I even home schooled him for a year when the district refused to provide him with an appropriate education. He now is thriving in a proper school and has friends and is being challenged academically. <br /><br />I drive him to and from school as I see no social benefit from being the only child on a short bus with two adults. We started listening to you in the afternoon by his request as I used to change the station when he got in the car. <br /><br />My son has learned from listening to your radio show about what it means to be a friend, brother and son. I would have never imagined that despite being at the appropriate school with all the counseling supports one can imagine, my son feels he has learned the most from listening to you! He used to be so upset when I had to take him to yet another therapy appointment 30 minutes away, but now he sees it as more time to listen to you. It isn't easy to find something a mom can do with her 13-year-old son with Asperger's but everyday I pick him at school at 2:30 and we sit in the car until 3:30, sometimes in the driveway, because he won't get out in the middle of one of your calls. Thank you for not only giving my son and I something to do together, but also furthering his social thinking skills and hopefully making a difference in his future. When I drop my son off at school, he leaves the car saying, "Now go do the right thing." Thought you would enjoy knowing you are making a difference in the life of a teen living with Asperger's syndrome in a way that I would have not been able to. He can listen to topics in a non-threatening way which he would otherwise be unable to talk about. I am so grateful to anyone who makes a difference in my son's life and I wanted to say thank you. <br /><br />You're the best, <br /><br />Julie <br />
Staff
2013-11-19T19:00:00Z
When Does Adulthood Start?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-Does-Adulthood-Start/-83073405239935667.html
2013-11-18T19:15:00Z
2013-11-18T19:15:00Z
<br />I think adulthood hits you little by little. It's not a landmark, at 18 or 25 or whenever, that you can just have a birthday and say "Now I'm an adult!" It's more like a path through deep woods. Every day, every success or failure, takes you a little farther down the path. I remember moving across the country by myself at 18 to go to college. I had to get a job, get myself up in the morning, and feed myself. At the time I didn't really feel like an adult yet, but I knew that was what adulthood looked like. <br />
<p>Not long after, I moved back to Washington. I was driving to Seattle one night to go see a show with a friend. As a kid, going to Seattle was kind of a big deal - it was a special occasion. I remember working my way through traffic in the car I had bought with my own money and thinking, "I'm an adult. I can drive to Seattle whenever I want because I have my own car and money to go out with."</p>
<p>A few years after that, I got married. I would often wake up and look over at my husband, sleeping in our own bed, in our own house, with our own dogs, and I would think always somewhat incredulously "We are adults. This is what adulthood is."</p>
<p>Now I'm pregnant with our first kid and as thrilled as we are, there is a certain solemn understanding and maybe a little fear, this is another step into adulthood. Often we still feel like kids, and I hope that never changes, but it's exciting to keep growing up and maturing into the kind of adults we want to be.</p>
<p>I'll be 25 when this baby comes and I'm so glad I've been preparing and practicing responsibility for the last several years. I absolutely love my life and I'm glad I didn't try to put it off till I was older.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bekky</p>
Staff
2013-11-18T19:15:00Z
Handling Our Problems Ourselves
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Handling-Our-Problems-Ourselves/918975151034229370.html
2013-11-18T19:02:00Z
2013-11-18T19:02:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Bullying? Who, me? I had fights in grammar school. That's what it was called waaay back then. As I recollect, around the beginning of the school year, I got into a fight with some guy, and maybe his friends, who thought pushing me around was a good idea. Nope, it was a bad idea. I popped him in the nose. The rest of the year I had no more problems - most of the time anyway. Seems to me that world history backs me up in how I handled being bullied. Bullies bully because they are allowed to bully. A house pet is smaller than you but, enraged it will stand and defend itself. A little girl or boy may be pummeled into the dirt by a bully after fighting back, but usually the bully will back-off and pick on someone who won't defend themselves. A major part of the problem of bullying is that we have become a society convinced that some external power or authority must handle all of our problems, so we often do not even consider handling them ourselves.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Michael</p>
Staff
2013-11-18T19:02:00Z
How to Be a Good Mother in Law
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-to-Be-a-Good-Mother-in-Law/-466923878877481470.html
2013-11-15T19:15:00Z
2013-11-15T19:15:00Z
<p> </p>
Hello Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I just became a mother-in-law this past summer. I'm totally in love with my new daughter and we have a great relationship. It really helps when your child chooses wisely. However, I give my own mother-in-law all the credit for teaching me how to be good at it. She is an amazing woman who raised four amazing adults. <br /><br />From day one, before my husband and I were engaged, my mother-in-law made sure to include me in all family occasions. She introduced me to extended family, made sure there was an appropriate gift for me at Christmas, always being caring and sweet. She helped me when my children were young, but never over-stepped any boundaries. She did my dishes, folded my laundry, played with the kids and never once did she make me feel I wasn't doing a good job. <br /><br />Now she is 86 years old and has dementia. I hear so many calls from people who can't deal with the stages of dementia. They seem to take everything personally when it has nothing to do with them. I take her to doctors' appointments, grocery shopping, lunches or just visit her often. On our last doctor visit, he had me feel a small lump on her breast and asked me to keep track of it in case it should change. These are things you do for people you love! And she knows she can trust me. Sure, she can get testy, repetitive, sings and hums all time, has great difficulty communicating. That can be challenging. But I know who she really is and I can't imagine how frightening it is to be in that state. My husband and daughter visit her every single Sunday morning for coffee and donuts. They've started bringing our little dog with them and she loves it! Seems she has forgotten she doesn't like dogs! I guess that is the up side of dementia. <br /><br />I plan to be the best mother-in-law I can and to make my mother-in-law proud.<br /><br />Carrie
Staff
2013-11-15T19:15:00Z
Being Honest Can Be Difficult
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-Honest-Can-Be-Difficult/972681927253865605.html
2013-11-15T19:00:00Z
2013-11-15T19:00:00Z
<p> </p>
My daughter and I once walked out of the Dollar Store with an item in my daughter's stroller. I didn't notice until I was home, tired, and hungry. My daughter, who was 3 at the time, said, "We are going to go back and pay for it, right?" I remember thinking, oh it's just a dollar item, but then I thought of her and the store owner. I knew what the right thing to do was. Back to the store we marched, and paid for it. To this day my girls are careful to look in the stroller/cart prior to leaving the store.<br /><br />Peter
Staff
2013-11-15T19:00:00Z
Pigging Out One Day per Month
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Pigging-Out-One-Day-per-Month/-346211557429049411.html
2013-11-14T17:53:00Z
2013-11-14T17:53:00Z
<p> </p>
Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />While listening to your show on my way home from work recently, I heard you speak with a caller who had diet and exercise concerns. You told her she is in control over her diet binges and restrictions, and advised her to give herself permission on one day a month to pig out on anything she wants. <br /><br />I am a 60-something woman who has adhered to a rigorous work-out and diet regimen for decades. From the neck down I can pass for 30. From the neck up is another story. However, sometimes I have felt confined by my own unyielding exercise and diet schedule, so your advice resonated with me. Yesterday, I gave myself permission to take an entire day off from my strict program. For lunch, I had a double scoop of Baskin Robbins chocolate/caramel ribbon ice cream. In the afternoon, I skipped the usual work-out and ate a quarter pound of brie and crackers while watching YouTube videos. In the evening, I consumed a giant vat of hot, buttered popcorn with a stick of real melted butter and finished off an entire box of Oreo cookies while watching a Netflix movie. I stayed up late and went to bed without showering or brushing my teeth. It felt liberating...until morning. This morning I woke up exhausted and nauseated. I felt lightheaded, and could barely get out of bed. I have no energy and my tongue feels like it's wearing a sweater. <br /><br />You are one clever woman! "Permission Day" taught me to embrace my healthy habits. I'm very happy to be me. <br /><br />Thanks for all that you do, <br /><br />M.
Staff
2013-11-14T17:53:00Z
My Friend Is Shacking Up With Her Boyfriend
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Friend-Is-Shacking-Up-With-Her-Boyfriend/568721744158216180.html
2013-11-14T17:50:00Z
2013-11-14T17:50:00Z
<p> </p>
I just wanted to thank you for teaching and upholding value systems that have been long forgotten in modern American society. I have been listening to you since college 1997. If I had been listening since a young child, I wouldn't have made many of the mistakes I did as a young adult. <br /><br />I mostly listen to you while in the car, transporting my 4 kids around town, so fortunately, they get to hear your advice. I guess they truly listen and learn from you, because my 4-year-old son set a girlfriend of mine straight with a little tough love the other day! She came over for dinner with her new boyfriend who is shacking up with her. While we were all sitting at the dinner table, my 4-year-old asked her, "You guys live in the same house?" She replied, "Yes." In a snarky tone, he then said, "Well, I don't see a ring on that finger." Most moms would have been mortified, but I was proud. <br /><br />My husband and I thank you. I hope you have started training whoever will take over your role when you retire, although we hope you never do because you are truly irreplaceable. <br /><br />Respectfully, <br /><br />Mama Bear Maygan
Staff
2013-11-14T17:50:00Z
Peace from India
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Peace-from-India/-89987888921296041.html
2013-11-12T19:15:00Z
2013-11-12T19:15:00Z
<p> </p>
I am a Muslim woman living in India, I have never been to the U.S. or any western country. I never heard or read about you, until one day I was fishing for second-hand books in a book store and I found your book, <em>Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives</em>. I bought it for its catchy title and I really enjoyed it. I laughed at some of the problems, was horrified by others, but in the end I really marveled at how completely different our cultures are and how different our sense of right and wrong are and yet...we were the same: clinging to the men in our lives to find fulfillment and how the age old wisdom of good women for good men and vice verse applies to all races. <br /><br />Then I started hunting for your other books. I really wanted to read - <em>Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives</em>. I have never had a boyfriend and I am saving myself for marriage. The society that I live in is like that, so this choice was never hard. You can say it's just a way of life here, but I do enjoy reading articles and stuff about men, so I can see the other side of the story.<br /><br />I did find your book <em>Bad Childhood, Good Life</em>, but I wasn't very keen on reading it, yet halfway through the book, I was crying and crying. My life was fine until my teenage years. I did have problems, but I was doing fine. Then things started really getting out of control in my late teens and I don't even want to think about my early twenties. Now I am 29, not happy and not able to understand why. Then I read your book and now I know why... In your book, when you talked about religion and faith in GOD, you're right - it really helps. The more I suffered, the more I turned to religion, and the more it gave me peace and solace and hope for the future.<br /><br />One of the stories in your book that really had me crying, was where this guy went to the therapist and the therapist was trying to get him angry. He just couldn't get angry, but in the end he did and started screaming, "Why GOD?" I replied, "Because you can take it." That is how I always comforted myself, "No soul is burdened more than he can take." This is one of the teachings that stopped me from killing myself. Other's were that suicide is a sin and ALLAH knows best. That's how Muslims comfort each other - ALLAH knows best.<br /><br />Yes I know there have been enough suicide bombings by crazy people from our side, but suicide is a huge sin. If those people really studied the religion, they wouldn't do this. Mercifully they are in the minority among the 1.5 billion Muslims so there's hope that it will end one day, inshallah ALLAH willing. And I am very sorry about the Boston bombings. <br /><br />I am also grateful to GOD for giving knowledge through you; even knowledge is something to be grateful for. Thank you. You will always be in my prayers.<br /><br />Peace:<br /><br />Husna
Staff
2013-11-12T19:15:00Z
Where I Ought To Be
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Where-I-Ought-To-Be/406484678865294601.html
2013-11-12T19:00:00Z
2013-11-12T19:00:00Z
<p> </p>
Here is a life lesson I just had to share with you. <br />- Ceja<br /><br /><img style="margin: 5px;" src="/images/slideshow/sahm_where_i_ought_to_be.jpg" alt="" />
Staff
2013-11-12T19:00:00Z
Don't Mess With Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dont-Mess-With-Mom/-994988133347190055.html
2013-11-11T19:15:00Z
2013-11-11T19:15:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>I thought you would get a kick out of this poem about moms and children's rights…</p>
<p>- Beth<br /><br /><strong>Don't Mess with Mom</strong><br /><br />My son came home from school one day,<br />with a smirk upon his face.<br />He'd decided he was smart enough,<br />to put me in my place.<br /><br />"Guess what I learned in Civics Two,<br />that's taught by Mr. Wright?<br />It's all about the laws today,<br />The "Children's Bill of Rights."<br /><br />It says I need not clean my room,<br />don't have to cut my hair.<br />No one can tell me what to think,<br />or speak, or what to wear.<br /><br />I have freedom from religion,<br />and regardless what you say,<br />I don't have to bow my head,<br />and I sure don't have to pray.<br /><br />I can wear earrings if I want,<br />and pierce my tongue & nose.<br />I can read & watch just what I like,<br />and get tattoos from head to toes.<br /><br />And if you ever spank me,<br />I'll charge you with the crime.<br />I'll back up all my charges,<br />with the marks on my behind.<br /><br />Don't you ever touch me,<br />my body's only for my use,<br />not for your hugs and kisses,<br />that's just more child abuse.<br /><br />Don't preach about your morals,<br />like your mama did to you.<br />That's nothing more than mind control,<br />And it's illegal too!<br /><br />Mom, I have these children's rights,<br />so you can't influence me,<br />or I'll call Children's Services Division,<br />better known as C.S.D. "<br /><br />Of course my first instinct was<br />To toss him out the door<br />But the chance to teach a lesson<br />made me think a little more.<br /><br />I mulled it over carefully,<br />I couldn't let this go.<br />A smile crept upon my face,<br />he's messing with a pro.<br /><br />The next day I took him shopping<br />at the local Goodwill Store<br />I told him, "Pick out all you want,<br />there's shirts & pants galore.<br /><br />I've called and checked with C.S.D.,<br />who said they didn't care<br />if I bought you K-Mart shoes<br />instead of those Nike Airs.<br /><br />And I've canceled that appointment<br />to take your driver's test.<br />The C.S.D. is unconcerned<br />so I'll decide what's best.<br /><br />I said "No time to stop and eat,<br />or pick up stuff to munch.<br />And tomorrow you can start to learn<br />to make your own sack lunch.<br /><br />Just save that raging appetite,<br />and wait 'til dinner time.<br />We're having liver and onions,<br />a favorite dish of mine.<br /><br />He asked "Can I please rent a movie,<br />To watch on my VCR?"<br />"Sorry, but I sold your TV,<br />for new tires on my car.<br /><br />I also rented out your room,<br />you'll take the couch instead.<br />The C.S.D. requires<br />just a roof above your head.<br /><br />Your clothing won't be trendy now,<br />and I'll choose what we eat.<br />That allowance that you used to get,<br />will buy me something neat.<br /><br />I'm selling off your jet ski,<br />dirt-bike & roller blades.<br />Check out the "Parent's Bill of Rights",<br />It's in effect today!<br /><br />Hey hot shot, are you crying,<br />and why are you on your knees?<br />Are you asking God to help you out,<br />instead of C.S.D.?<br /><br />- Author Unknown</p>
Staff
2013-11-11T19:15:00Z
Proud of This Accomplishment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Proud-of-This-Accomplishment/392834103370339836.html
2013-11-11T19:00:00Z
2013-11-11T19:00:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>In 2010, after my chemo and before my radiation for breast cancer treatment, I took up swimming. It was a large indoor pool, 82 degree water, and a reasonable membership rate. I enjoyed the side and back strokes which helped me to regain my range of motion. Two to three times a week I'd swim, increasing the minutes each week. Then I got a clue to don goggles and I was surprised how much I enjoyed counting laps doing the free-style Australian crawl. I am always thinking of a new tweak to add to my routine. Over a year now, I've been swimming one mile, twice a week! It is so worth it! I feel my flexibility, cardio-pulmonary quality and endurance are at my best. <br /><br />By the way, I celebrated my 70th birthday this August! And I take no prescription medications.<br /><br />Thanks, Dr. Laura, I've a smile on my face knowing you share in my joy of accomplishment!<br /><br />Bonnie</p>
Staff
2013-11-11T19:00:00Z
The Mother I Received
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Mother-I-Received/654976578414798200.html
2013-11-08T19:15:00Z
2013-11-08T19:15:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I was one of the fortunate ones who had a mother-in-law that I adored. We did many things together: shopping, going to lunch, movies, musicals...girl-bonding kinds of things. It was Christmas, 1999 that I printed out this poem, framed it and gave it to her as a gift. She hung it on the wall of her apartment and, when it came time to move her to assisted living, she hung it on the wall in her room. Here is what it said:</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>You are the Mother I received</strong><br /><strong> the day I wed your son.</strong><br /><strong> And I just want to thank you, Mom,</strong><br /><strong> for the things that you have done.</strong><br /><br /><strong>You have given me a gracious man</strong><br /><strong> with whom I share my life.</strong><br /><strong> You are his lovely Mother </strong><br /><strong> and I his lucky wife.</strong><br /><br /><strong>You used to pat his little head</strong><br /><strong> and now I hold his hand.</strong><br /><strong> You raised in love a little boy</strong><br /><strong> then gave to me a man.</strong></p>
<p>My mother-in-law is no longer with us and I miss her so much I can't even describe it. But we sure made our time together count for a lot and she knew I loved her. She was the mother I had always wanted but never had. I thank God that I knew her for the brief time I did. Thank you for all you do, Dr. Laura, and I know you will be a fabulous mother-in-law too.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Judie<br /><br /><br /></p>
Staff
2013-11-08T19:15:00Z
Spreading the Word in the Bronx
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Spreading-the-Word-in-the-Bronx/-206375462939182161.html
2013-11-08T19:00:00Z
2013-11-08T19:00:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I work for the City of New York as a police officer. I patrol in some of the worst areas in the Bronx. A few times a week, I am faced with a young woman who is playing the victim for why her life turned out the way it has when she is the one who chose a bad man. Two nights ago, I went to a scene where a 16-year-old girl had run away from home to live with her 18-year-old drop out, no job bum of a boyfriend who was living with his mom. When she told me her mom was a struggling single parent and her dad was not in the picture, I told her she was looking at her future. I gave her a little Dr. Laura medicine and sent her back home. <br /><br />I have listened to you for five years and have spent the last three being a spokesperson for you to these trouble ridden people. It hurts when some of them do not listen, but you have made me a smart woman. I grew up with a feminist alcoholic mother and wouldn't have even known where to start giving people advice. You have taught me right and wrong. You are like a mother to me! You have made me a really strong cop and I always try to "do the right thing".<br /><br />Hannah <br /><br />P.S. If I ever get married and want children, I will retire early. I won't be shipping my children off to a day care!</p>
Staff
2013-11-08T19:00:00Z
My Husband, My Hero!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husband,-My-Hero!/701638257910747964.html
2013-11-07T19:15:00Z
2013-11-07T19:15:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am a proud Navy wife and have been my husband's girlfriend for just a few short years now, but every day I am reminded of my wise decision to say "yes" on the day he got down on one knee. As most military couples do, we recently moved for his new assignment. Although I was thrilled that, by chance, we were going to be closer to my family, I was sad to leave behind the life we made while he was fulfilling his previous assignment. I had a great job, sweet friends, and we lived only 15 minutes away from the beach! <br /><br />Rather than demanding that I look for a new job and trudge off to work in this new city as soon as we arrived like many husbands perhaps would do, he was thrilled that I wanted to take some time off to be with him and consider the possibility of beginning a family. Prior to now, he had been away on three deployments and we were both looking forward to a more "normal" life together. Well, less than a month after he returned from his final deployment and we moved to our new city, I got pregnant! I am now expecting our first child and we are both thrilled! <br /><br />He is a truly a wonderful man who takes pride in being a provider so that I can stay home to raise our baby and hopefully more in the future. A true hero both away at sea and in the home! Although some of my former co-workers and friends don't quite understand why on earth I'd want to stay home, they think I will be bored out of my mind - HA!, I could truly care less. I know that I am doing what is best for my family and I am SO THANKFUL that I chose wisely and married a REAL man who sees the beauty and value in a wife who cares for him and his children rather than farming them out to strangers. <br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, for fighting the good fight for healthy and happy families!<br /><br />Leslie</p>
<p><img style="margin: 5px auto; display: block;" src="/images/blog/myhusband_myhero.jpg" alt="" width="497" height="411" /></p>
Staff
2013-11-07T19:15:00Z
My Favorite Kid Story
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Favorite-Kid-Story/-691957761603633855.html
2013-11-07T19:00:00Z
2013-11-07T19:00:00Z
<p><br />My husband and I have raised 3 wonderful sons who now range in age from 20 to 29. This is my very favorite "kid story" and I thought you would enjoy it. It happened on Easter morning when our oldest boy was 9.The kids were digging through their treats and he looked at me and asked if I put things out or if there really was an Easter Bunny. I put my index finger up to my lips to single 'shhh' and said we would talk later. <br /><br />When I told him that indeed I had put the treats out and there was no bunny I told him he needed to keep it a secret and let his brothers enjoy the magic. He looked up at me with his huge blue eyes and said, "Okay. I won't tell, but does Dad know?" <br /><br />I am still my kids' mom and even though they are bigger than me, always will be... <br /><br />Ellen</p>
Staff
2013-11-07T19:00:00Z
Being a Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-a-Mom/854108328230020902.html
2013-11-06T19:15:00Z
2013-11-06T19:15:00Z
<p><br />I have been a divorced parent for many years. When I tell people this, I often get, "Oh you should go out and meet someone", or "I know someone you would really be great for you…" When I tell people I choose to be a single, they are really taken aback by that statement. It is a choice. Is it the best situation? Absolutely not! A two parent household is optimum. However, I left a marriage that was unhealthy and destructive. I was depressed and lonely at first, but in time I realized how much happier my children were. Their father chose not to be a part of their lives. They have struggled and I have worked hard to be both parents. I have a great support system which has seen me through the rough times. <br /><br />I had 4 children. My eldest died in a car accident and it was devastating. He was only 19. I have twin daughters that are now 26. They are both successful, in healthy relationships and have chosen to wait to get married until they are ready to have children and be a mom. My youngest is 17. He is wonderful and will be going to college next year. All of them freely say they love me. They are caring and kind. Even the 17 year old boy will give me hugs. None of them do drugs, the older ones drink rarely and responsibly. <br /><br />I chose my children over my "desire' to be involved with a man. This was not an easy choice. I do not date. I do not go out to bars. I do not look for men. I attend all band and school functions to support my son. I cook, clean, shuttle kids to and from events and school. I work full time. It was hard in the beginning, but I have been creative and fortunate that my hours working matched school hours. It was the best way I could work and care for my children. I am happy. Do I want to find someone and grow old with? Yes. Of course, I think about that. Am I happy? Absolutely! I am 58 years old and am ready to move into my time to have a relationship and enjoy traveling with a mate. I am not sure I look forward to dating, but I am not concerned about meeting someone. So who knows? After my baby's graduation and he is off to college, I may meet a decent man and enjoy the second half of my life - ok so I may not live to be 116, but I have no regrets. I did the job I signed up for. I have raised my children to be safe, responsible and productive citizens. The time for me is around the corner and I am happy waiting for it. <br /><br />I wanted to write this so that maybe others will know that parenting means sacrifice, with or without a partner. It was better for me to parent my children rather than add another person to the dynamics in our life. I have no regrets. I am not some weird ugly woman who can't have a decent relationship. I just chose the path that would best support my children. Every sacrifice was worth every second of the life I have had raising them. <br /><br />Thank you, <br /><br />Dawn</p>
Staff
2013-11-06T19:15:00Z
Over-Practice Creates Rote Responses
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Over-Practice-Creates-Rote-Responses/191671210231143364.html
2013-11-06T19:00:00Z
2013-11-06T19:00:00Z
<p><br />Years ago when I was a flight instructor, new students often asked why they had to practice and demonstrate emergency procedures over and over, time and time again. Forty years ago my response was something along the lines of increasing their confidence in their abilities. <br /><br />Over my flying career, I've had two or three serious incidents where a rote response saved injury or worse, to myself and others. <br /><br />The proper rote response is only learned through "over-practice". <br /><br />This is as true in our moral lives as in our physical lives. <br /><br />James<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2013-11-06T19:00:00Z
Leaving a Poisonous Relationship
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Leaving-a-Poisonous-Relationship/834345256237273200.html
2013-11-05T19:15:00Z
2013-11-05T19:15:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have been a long time listener. I hear callers say they have been long time listeners and yet do the opposite of what your advice is. I am one of those! I've been married for 28 years and my husband is an alcoholic. I tried for years to "fix" everything, but to no avail. A caller said she was upset about her mother being an alcoholic. You said, "She's a drunk, you can't do anything." No words can be as true as that statement. <br /><br />I filed for divorce and left the home. I thought it would be too hard to do and was afraid. Drunks make you afraid, anxious, feel guilty and many more mental abuses. On the contrary, I am doing much better than I ever imagined. I have found my kindness and tenderness again and my positive attitude. I have also weeded out negative acquaintances and "so-called friends". My husband and I agreed I would stay home with our son and he would be the supporter, as it should be. He has been very successful and now throws it in my face that I didn't "contribute" and will end up with a lot of money. It used to make me feel bad. Now my thoughts are "cry me a river!" I deserve it. I would rather not have the money and still have my family together but it won't happen with him drinking. Many women/men are left with nothing, so I am grateful. I do not, nor will I never regret raising our son. He's 22, attends UT Austin in the Cockrell School of Petroleum Engineering. He's pulling a 4.0 GPA and is a caring, gracious young adult. His father worked 24/7 and when he did talk to our son, it was about finance, business and so on. My son said, "Mom, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't be the man I am. I love you so much and thank you for being a wonderful mother and teaching me ethics, values and how to be a good person." You can't top that! <br /><br />Although we have been through hell and back, our story is a success story and a learning experience. I go to a PhD in family counseling and my son does as well. We are on the road to a good life. <br /><br />I hope others can read this and know that leaving a poisonous relationship is the best thing to do and there is LIFE to live and enjoy. Fear is not an option for me any longer. I am a warrior now! Thank you for your wise words. I'm getting your podcast! <br /><br />Patty</p>
Staff
2013-11-05T19:15:00Z
Obsessive and Controlling Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Obsessive-and-Controlling-Mom/-594717024524382599.html
2013-11-05T19:00:00Z
2013-11-05T19:00:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi Dr Laura, <br /><br />I just listened to a caller described how I used to be. She talked about calling the teacher and then the counselor about her 14-year-old son failing a class. I thought, "Wow! That is something I used do!" From the age of nine, my son has struggled with social anxiety and depression. I was constantly trying to "fix" him and decided everything for him. <br /><br />He is now 17. Recently we were chatting and out of the blue he said "Why do you always feel like there is something wrong with me or that I need to learn a lesson all the time?" I was so shocked! I could not believe he said that. My first thought was to come to my own defense. Then I realized he was right. For most of his life, I have controlled every move and thought he had.<br /><br />Today, I no longer micromanage his life. I am still here for him, but I let him make his own choices. And if he fails, he knows that I will be here as a support, but not a crutch. <br /><br />M.</p>
Staff
2013-11-05T19:00:00Z
Controlling Women
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Controlling-Women/-777815248874176009.html
2013-11-04T21:30:00Z
2013-11-04T21:30:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I once dated a girl in college who I thought was pretty nice. One time, when I had to make a road trip, she wanted to know if I would take her home since I passed right through her hometown. I said sure and away we went. It was about a 7 hour drive to her house and about 11 hours further to my destination, so she invited me to stay with her family that night.</p>
<p>Her dad was at work when we got there, but soon came home and supper was served. When he came in the house I got the shock of my life! The mother/wife/woman started in ordering her husband around. She told him what to do and when to do it. She told him what to wear for the meal. She told him what he had to do to help get ready. She just bossed him the whole time I was there.</p>
<p>I got another shock! The guy just smiled and went and did what she said!! He talked to me a little, but mostly was busy carrying out his orders!</p>
<p>Then I got another shock! The girl I was with didn't seem to think anything was out of the ordinary!</p>
<p>Needless to say, when I picked her up on the way back to college, I never dated her again, although we remained friends until I got drafted and left for boot camp.</p>
<p>I'm grateful my folks were not like that! They taught me and my siblings and you respect each other. EVEN IF YOU DON'T AGREE! Especially if you don't agree!</p>
<p>Frank</p>
Staff
2013-11-04T21:30:00Z
When a Man Stands Up to a Woman
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-a-Man-Stands-Up-to-a-Woman/-993281552725892707.html
2013-11-04T19:15:00Z
2013-11-04T19:15:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /> <br />Recently, you made the statement that "men take too much crap from their women." I wanted to weigh in from a man’s perspective. In my experience, so many women today have been given the right by media and entertainment that they deserve to _____________ (fill in the blank) or be a ____________ (fill in the blank). So when a man places his balls in the right place and stands up to her, he gets verbally abused, accused of being an abuser, and a horrible good-for-nothing man. Then she neglects him. So then men resolve to being miserable and calling you; get a girlfriend and cheat or watch porn (which only hands a freebie victim card to the woman which she shares with the world taking no responsibility for her action because cheating is a far more horrendous crime than neglect because "I had a right to neglect him"); or give in and do what she wants so he can maybe get the attention he needs. In my opinion, mankind is doomed to evolve into a society of feminized humanoids that will eventually wipe themselves out due to not choosing wisely and not treating kindly. <br /> <br />Thanks for all you do.<br /> <br />Mike<br /><br />
Staff
2013-11-04T19:15:00Z
Helping Children Become Independent Adults
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Helping-Children-Become-Independent-Adults/-431566377113305074.html
2013-11-01T18:15:00Z
2013-11-01T18:15:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /> <br />I think one of the failings of parents is that they don't expect much of their children, and they bail the kids out. If a teen has a job, they should pay for their phone, and car insurance. Once they are out of high school, they should contribute toward room and board. Even if it is $50 a month, they should pay. They should LEARN what it costs their parents money to live where and how they do. Add little responsibilities throughout their early adult years, and talk to them about the facts of living in the 21st century. Making life too easy is not kind, because it is a false portrayal of life. I know, or know of about 10 contemporaries who have adult children at home. These adults all have jobs, but pay nothing to their parents. They pay NOTHING! They have new cars, new cell phones, and new computers. They eat out and go to theaters. They are living the good life. Their view is "Mom never asked me." or "Dad said I could stay until I get on my feet." My husband and I were given a gift of a down payment for our first two cars 40 and 39 years ago. Other than that, we scrimped and saved and did it ourselves. We knew that if calamity happened, our parents would help us. But since we were grown up enough to get married, we could and <strong>would</strong> take care of ourselves. If you really love your children, you will help them be responsible for their own lives. <br /> <br />Jo
Staff
2013-11-01T18:15:00Z
Discipline in the Classroom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Discipline-in-the-Classroom/-823525722773215001.html
2013-11-01T18:00:00Z
2013-11-01T18:00:00Z
<br />
<p>My husband and most of the men in my family are retired military. I married an amazing man who works like crazy to provide for us and our 6 children (2-17 years old) so that I am home fulltime! I thought you would get a giggle out of this humorous story. <br /> <br />Warm Regards, <br /> <br />Melissa <br /> <br /><em></em></p>
<p><em>"A former Sergeant in the Marine Corps took a new job as a high school teacher. Just before the school year started, he injured his back. He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable. On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school. The smart-aleck punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and he knew they would be testing his discipline in the classroom. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler and stapled the tie to his chest. Dead silence... The rest of the year went very smoothly.</em>"<br /> <br /> </p>
Staff
2013-11-01T18:00:00Z
Reminiscing About the Past
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Reminiscing-About-the-Past/-405576473877091981.html
2013-10-31T18:15:00Z
2013-10-31T18:15:00Z
<br />
<p>Hi Dr. Laura, <br /> <br />I just returned home from attending my 60 year high school reunion in Central Pennsylvania. I believe we were one of the last generations to enjoy the culture of innocence and public decency. A common conclusion we came to was that life in this country will never be as good as we had it. And we were the post Depression generation. When we compared life today to what we had back then, we realized how lucky we were; some examples: Censorship of movies was a good thing. It promoted public decency. The movie "It's a Wonderful Life" is still popular today. Radio programs were entertaining without having any sexual innuendo. And television came later and gave us family friendly entertainment. We were a respectful and reverent society and the politics were not as mean as they are today. We grew up during World War II and we had a love of this country that is unequalled. Patriotism was sky high. Our teachers cared about us learning and they did not have sex with their students. <br /> <br />We built our nests before we had children. Of course there were a few exceptions because of hormones and opportunity, but most of us didn't have automobiles to sneak away to "Lover's Lane". There was never a generation that was hornier than the next. Our generation sacrificed sexual intimacy which we postponed until we were able to care for a family. There were a few who got married right out of high school and a few had shotgun marriages. In those days it was shameful to have a child out-of-wedlock. Moral judgments were made then. One of my classmates will be celebrating her 60 year wedding anniversary this year. <br /> <br />Yes, we old folks reminisce about the past. But we have also seen great medical and technological advances. What concerns us is the moral decay, meanness, and creeping secularism that is taking over the country. And what some people call progressive is in reality regressive. Their ideas are old ideas that have never succeeded anywhere in the world.<br /> <br />Stan</p>
Staff
2013-10-31T18:15:00Z
My M-i-L: Mother-in-Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-M-i-L:-Mother-in-Love/373109601974582391.html
2013-10-31T18:00:00Z
2013-10-31T18:00:00Z
<br />
<p>Dr. Laura,<br /> <br />I just read <a href="/b/Ill-Take-My-Mother-in-Law-for-as-Long-as-I-Can-Have-Her/624022742685863508.html" target="_self">Jane's email</a> about her M-I-L, and it brought back memories. I, too, had a lovely second Mom, or 'Mother-In-Love.' It didn't start out that way for a variety of reasons, but it ended that way. Early in our marriage after a particularly stressful visit, my husband pointedly told his mom that I came first now and basically not to make him choose between us. I knew where he stood, and so did she. <br /> <br />Visits by her were twice a year, and our love for each other grew over time. Our sons loved Grandma's visits, and we have great memories. A few years after Mom retired, she talked of coming only once a year, and we were all heartbroken. During one of our chatty phone calls, she said told me she couldn't afford anymore the fun excursions we'd all take on her visits--trips to Great America theme park, or movies with all the treats we wanted. I was horrified and told her we wanted HER, not her expensive treats! And with that said, she came for her visits as usual. She and I watched old musicals on VHS tapes while the kids were at school, and we just had fun. She never interfered between my husband and I, or challenged how we raised our sons. I came to love her deeply, and she loved me. <br /> <br />She passed away 22 years ago, and I miss her still. Thanks for reminding me again how blessed I was to have a good Mother-In-Love.<br /> <br />Johanna</p>
Staff
2013-10-31T18:00:00Z
The Luckiest Parents on Earth
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Luckiest-Parents-on-Earth/509351997192691030.html
2013-10-30T17:45:00Z
2013-10-30T17:45:00Z
<br />
<p>Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I have listened to you for over 20 years. The impact you made on me will continue to show through my children.<br /><br />You let me know (when I was in my early 30s) that it was ok to "wait until marriage". It was ok! In fact it was a blessing that my wife and I waited until we married. I only wish I could make other people realize this.<br /><br />Over 11 years ago, my son was born. The way you talked about the special gift of being a parent was something that will never leave my soul. When I looked at him I saw and still see the love of God.<br /><br />I wrote the song below about him. Being "My Kid's Dad" in addition to my marriage have been the most blessed gifts in my life. The song is titled "The Luckiest Parents on Earth". You made me realize long before having a child that if you take the role of parenthood as prized as it is meant to be, then every parent should view themselves as the luckiest parent. And if they view themselves that way, they will treasure and raise a child with true love.<br /><br />Our son is unbelievable: talented with a humble demeanor and full of love. I like to think because he has been so loved that he loves so much.<br /><br />Please if you have 2 minutes, listen to this song. It ends with a thought I learned from you.<br /><br />Thank you,<br /><br /><br />Paul S. <br /><br />p.s.: If you hear the baby screaming in the background that is my son. He was less than a year old at the time I recorded this.</p>
Staff
2013-10-30T17:45:00Z
Trophy For...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Trophy-For.../-799715463924047666.html
2013-10-30T17:30:00Z
2013-10-30T17:30:00Z
<br />
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1383159400397_3109" class="yiv705636179MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1383159400397_3153">Sometimes I think I'm being a "mean" spirited mom but I don't understand the prize culture that's happening. Who started this and why did everyone follow???</span> </p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1383159400397_3135" class="yiv705636179MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1383159400397_3134">When my son played little league baseball he was on a pretty good team that almost made it to the championship round, but got eliminated. We were bummed, but so proud of our team. One of the moms felt we should all chip in money and buy all the players trophies. She literally said her son would be devastated if he didn't get a trophy. I said, "I will not fork out the dough and if I know my son, he could care less about a trophy that was just given to him versus a trophy that was won/earned. And what does that say to the 2 teams who made it to the championship round?" Side note: we were talking about 11-year-old boys, not 4-5-year-old t-ballers. Our coaches felt the same way I did and voted against it. Instead we planned a barbeque party to celebrate our awesome year, but no trophies.</span> </p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1383159400397_3147" class="yiv705636179MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1383159400397_3146">Guess what??? That mom ordered the trophies anyway and brought them to the party!!! I was in shock! My son received his trophy, handed it to me, and never looked at it again. But if that trophy was from the hard earned championship game, he would have probably slept with it.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1383159400397_3142" class="yiv705636179MsoPlainText"><span>Flea</span></p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2013-10-30T17:30:00Z
Marriage Takes Two
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Marriage-Takes-Two/747665924955833494.html
2013-10-29T18:42:00Z
2013-10-29T18:42:00Z
<br />Hello Dr Laura.... <br /><br />I am constantly asked how my husband and I have stayed so happy for so long. I usually respond that we are each other's best friends, we show the other respect, and I read the books written by Dr. Laura. It is true that while I spend my life building others up, my husband is the main recipient. <br /><br />We have two grown daughters both with teaching degrees and two wonderful grandchildren. WE are a shining example of what you would call a break in the cycle. My mom was a single mother - I loved and respected her, but I never knew my father. My husband's mother was married MANY times. Somehow we both knew that when we were married we wanted it to be forever and we wanted our children to have what we both truly never had - the full family unit. <br /><br />It is sad how many people are lost all of their lives. Marriage takes two, and I am so truly blessed to have him as mine. There is no room for jealousy and we both enjoy being the couple all others strive to be. Thank you for your writing, your show and everything you contribute to this world!!!! <br /><br />Lisa<br />
Staff
2013-10-29T18:42:00Z
Young But NOT Lazy!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Young-But-NOT-Lazy!/582416155823083682.html
2013-10-29T18:38:00Z
2013-10-29T18:38:00Z
<br />Hi there! <br /><br />I am a SAHM of 3 kidlets: 6, 5, and 2 years old. My husband and I recently went on a small trip with our two oldest leaving the young one with Grandma. We live in central California and drove south to Disneyland and Universal Studios. While at Universal Studios, we were moving from the "lower lot" to the "upper lot". My 6-year-old son decided to bypass the fun/kid friendly escalators for the stairs. I am not sure if you have been, but there are 3 or 4 very long flights of stairs. We were the only ones taking the stairs in this crazy busy theme park. Here is a picture of us on the first or second flight. PHEW! <br /><br />Thanks for fighting the good fight! <br /><br />We love you, <br /><br />Tanyia and family <br /><br /><img style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 5px;" src="/images/blog/tanyia.jpg" alt="" /><br />
Staff
2013-10-29T18:38:00Z
Considering Adoption
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Considering-Adoption/-929134344110202835.html
2013-10-28T18:15:00Z
2013-10-28T18:15:00Z
<br />Thanks so much for your encouragement of adoption. I am an adopted child and it truly is the greatest gift that a woman can give. I LOVE my birth mom for the courage and true selfless love that she had for me. My parents always told me that she loved me and what a precious gift I was. It makes me so furious to hear women say they could never dream of giving a child up for adoption because they just "love it too much". This implies that mothers who would consider adoption don't love their children. <br /><br />So terribly sad that our society doesn't celebrate, honor and encourage the selfless love of adoption. Thank you for doing just that. And please let me say to all women who are considering adoption for their baby, if I was your child I would say "I love you. Thank you for loving me enough to give me a better life. You moms are my hero."<br /><br />Linda<br /><br />
Staff
2013-10-28T18:15:00Z
Ways to Teach Proper Behavior
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ways-to-Teach-Proper-Behavior/-223216200925378356.html
2013-10-28T18:00:00Z
2013-10-28T18:00:00Z
<br />I believe the best way to teach children proper behavior is to set standards and expectations. Let them know in advance what you want them to do and what the consequences will be if they don't comply. <br /><br />
<ul>
<li>For a dressy occasion - You don't have to like the dress, but you will wear it to show the proper respect for the situation.</li>
<li>For someone else's party - No it's not your party, but you get to enjoy it and get cake and ice cream.</li>
<li>For going out to dinner - No one wants whine with dinner. You can order steak. Start whining and we go home and eat hot dogs.</li>
<li>For school work - I don't expect perfection. I do expect you to do your best. </li>
</ul>
<br />Don't be afraid to hug, kiss, and say, "Mommy loves you" (the louder the better) in front of their classmates.<br /><br /><br />Julie
Staff
2013-10-28T18:00:00Z
Making the Best Choice for My Son
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-the-Best-Choice-for-My-Son/-84645614057521788.html
2013-10-25T18:15:00Z
2013-10-25T18:15:00Z
<p> </p>
Hello Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I was listening to your program and heard a young lady call in who was 5 months pregnant asking about adoption. As I listened I was brought to tears. I felt her pain due to being in that young lady's shoes over 6 years ago. I got pregnant at 19 and broke up with the father shortly after finding out I was expecting. I was so scared, confused, and torn about what to do about my pregnancy. I have never believed in abortion but it did cross my mind a couple times. <br /><br />After my parents found out I was pregnant (I hid it 7 months) they talked to me about adoption. I couldn't imagine giving my child "away" even though I knew I was not ready to be a mother. After lots of crying and praying I decided adoption was best. I placed my son into a home with a stable family who couldn't have other children. The parents were almost 40, both had 2 degrees, they had a 2-year-old biological son, and the mom stayed at home. <br /><br />Even though it was picture perfect for what I wanted for my son, it was still so hard and painful. I always tell young girls that there is no heartbreak like the pain of placing your child you carried 40 weeks into the hands of his/her "new" mother, but it will end up being one of your proudest moments of your life. Now 6 years later, I know I made the best choice for not only my son, but myself as well. <br /><br />I am now 26, married to a wonderful man who I will one day have beautiful babies with, involved with a local crisis pregnancy center, emotionally sound, and most importantly I'm oh so happy. <br /><br />Savannah
Staff
2013-10-25T18:15:00Z
I Didn't Listen to My Priest
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Didnt-Listen-to-My-Priest/-197085743973800332.html
2013-10-25T18:00:00Z
2013-10-25T18:00:00Z
<p> </p>
Do you know how nice it is to come home after a 13 hour day and have a present from Dr. Laura .... AMAZING! As a podcast annual subscriber, thank you for the book, "Surviving a Shark Attack (on Land)". I've been a listener for 27 years now and hear a different version of my story every day.<br /><br />I DID not choose wisely, and am now divorced after 30 years, but have 3 amazing kids. I married a boy who never became a man; he cheated through the whole marriage and now lives with Mommy.<br /><br />I heard the story of the 16-year-old girl who had <em>Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives</em> crammed down her throat, but is now living a wonderful life. I wish that was me. I enjoy my life, but just wish I had listened to you when I was 16. That was how old I was when I went on my first date with my ex-husband. At the alter, the priest even whispered to me, "You don't have to go through with this". I thought since he was a priest, what did he know about choosing wisely. Obviously he knew more than I did.<br /><br />THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU AND God Bless you for everything you do. I listen to you on Sirius, the Internet and now my iPod when I exercise.<br /><br />Luv ya, Dr. Laura.<br /><br />Kathy
Staff
2013-10-25T18:00:00Z
I Started Acting Like I Liked Him
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Started-Acting-Like-I-Liked-Him/751051946058665174.html
2013-10-24T18:15:00Z
2013-10-24T18:15:00Z
<p> </p>
Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />My husband and I married at 21. We were immature, he was a Marine and was gone a lot, and we had two kids right away. After his four years with the Marines he got a traveling job and was gone even more. All the petty fights and immature behaviors added up and I hated him. I mean really hated him. Literally, if I looked at him it made me sick to my stomach. I had resolved myself to leaving him as soon as the kids were in school. <br /><br />I was lonely and bored stuck at home with two little kids. I was hungry for adult conversation and started listening to talk radio just for company. That's when I met you and my life changed. You taught me so many life lessons over that radio. I started acting like I liked my husband and pretty soon I did. We have now been married for eighteen years and I can honestly say every day with that man is amazing. Back then, I could have never imagined the depth of our love today. You saved my marriage, not to mention all the other wonderful things you taught me. I have been a stay-at-home homeschooling mom for all these years. I have good, honest, kind, children. My life has been blessed with your knowledge. I thank God that he put you in my life all those years ago. My life is amazing because of it. <br /><br />Thank You and God Bless,<br /><br />Carrie
Staff
2013-10-24T18:15:00Z
Growing Up Fast
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Growing-Up-Fast/880181062048921005.html
2013-10-24T18:00:00Z
2013-10-24T18:00:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>I believe my biggest "character builder" as a kid, teenager, and as young adult was my mother, and somehow my brothers. My father passed away when I was 8 years old. There were 11 children and by that time only 2 were married. My mother had to work as hard as she could to raise a big group of kids and teenagers. We all had to help out in the house. I remember I could not reach the place she used to wash clothes by hand, so she got the idea for me to stand on a paint bucket while I did my laundry. She went to other towns far away to sell clothes. </p>
<p>If people did not have money to spend, she would trade, like a pair of pants for a chicken, or for coffee beans, beans, corn, etc. I would come on those trips to help her out. My brothers' thought they could ask for anything at any time, but were they wrong! They were used to demanding things, but not with me. If they wanted something from me or from my mother, they had to ask nicely. To stand up to my brothers and teach them respect was not an easy thing to do for many people, but it was easy for me. I used to live in the City of Guatemala in Central America. I learned how to raise farm animals in the city, how to sell and buy things, be responsible, and be a team player.</p>
<p>My mother was a hard working woman who always did the impossible by raising all of us. <br /><br />Thank you for your time Dr. Laura.<br /><br />Mrs. Aguilar</p>
Staff
2013-10-24T18:00:00Z
Enjoy These Moments to Keep the Love Alive
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Enjoy-These-Moments-to-Keep-the-Love-Alive/314291910533397228.html
2013-10-23T17:55:00Z
2013-10-23T17:55:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I emailed you last week when I was having a really hard day. I was cleaning my kids rooms that was littered with garbage, toys, clothes, and a broken hair accessory of mine. I was so upset that I took away their clothes and toys and put them in my control until they could show me that they could handle the responsibility of having them. I did let them have their one special stuffed animal though. I did, however, break their crayons in half and push in their brand new markers. Did this stop them from making messes? No. They just did it with other household things instead. <br /><br />I learned a valuable lesson this week: there is nothing that can replace consciousness and consistency in parenting. Having less toys has made it easier for my children and I too easily see what is out of place, so I'm keeping their toys up until further notice. But, they are in no way sacrificing or more sad because of the less toys. I've found just the opposite! My husband and I were saying how creative and optimistic our kids are, because they are making fun wherever they go and with whatever they have. They could have fun with an empty roll of toilet paper. And if I take that away, they could have fun with a string on their clothes. I started this endeavor thinking one way, and came out with a totally different lesson. <br /><br />For now, it is I who needs to be consistent about making sure they clean up the room they are in before leaving it. I also reaffirmed my stance that toys are not a necessity to a happy childhood. This afternoon, my 4 year old and I baked together and she can crack an egg better than some adults! I got to rock my baby before her nap this afternoon. I had the pleasure last week to use those broken crayons and markers with my 8 year old daughter, when we were doing very challenging regrouping math homework. Her and I were so proud of ourselves for coming out of that alive! I love that my 5 year old boy just hugs and holds the baby just because he feels like it. Toys were in no part of any of those happy memories. <br /><br />I am so grateful that I can stay at home and enjoy these moments, so as to keep the love alive and flowing. Thank you for being there for me to write to. You continue to inspire me daily, when I reflect throughout the day, about the choices I've made in the past, present and future. Thank you. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Elena</p>
Staff
2013-10-23T17:55:00Z
Another Subtle Effect of Feminism
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Another-Subtle-Effect-of-Feminism/497485664148403950.html
2013-10-23T17:45:00Z
2013-10-23T17:45:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>I am reading a fictional book about a family living in the middle ages in England. The main character is a man who does stone work for palaces and cathedrals. He works many hours as a laborer and barely manages to feed his family. But this man's family is really lucky because, around them, there are single and widowed woman who cannot survive financially.<br /><br />At one point in the book, the man's wife has had 4 children and lost one to illness. She tells him that her body cannot take another pregnancy, so he assumes it's the end of his sex life. Fast forward to the present, I start to think about how different things were back then as opposed to the current culture of feminist behavior. I imagine that these wives from 1100 AD found a way to keep their husbands close to home, even when they wanted to avoid another pregnancy. Some of these wives probably used their creativity to find other ways that they could satisfy their husbands sexually. And they probably felt like the effort was well worth it in keeping the family together.<br /><br />I grew up around my mother's feminist friends. One of their ongoing themes was the "belittling" things that wives had to do to please their husbands. So, in one fell swoop, they flipped the interpretation of centuries of thought on the subject. It was no longer honorable for a wife to accommodate her husband's different needs for sex or any other reasonable masculine interest. Now the standard for "normal" was what women wanted and needed. Us men became the outcast elements in our marriages, with dishonorable desires that needed to be feminized.<br /><br />I keep finding subtle and not-so-subtle ways that feminism has changed the culture, most of it for the worse. This subtle change, this "spin" that the feminists invented in the 1960's, gave all future generations of women the opportunity to feel "belittled" and lessened by their husbands' reasonable desires. It is so sad that we men never really got the equality that was promised.<br /><br />Tim</p>
Staff
2013-10-23T17:45:00Z
Weather Their Problems Together
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Weather-Their-Problems-Together/385499542440287733.html
2013-10-22T19:26:00Z
2013-10-22T19:26:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I have been a fan of yours for years, and I agree with you about the emasculation of men that is being perpetrated by political correctness and feminists. I find it very interesting that in the romance novels which are extremely popular, judging by the numbers of them written and on the best seller lists, the heroes are macho men, alpha males. Yes, they are usually flawed, and therefore redeemable; but the heroines no matter how feisty and flawed they are, need a terminal of comparable magnitude to spar with, not a wuss. I (female, age 71) sincerely believe that women (real women) DO want a real man - strong, upright, morally decent, who stands for values, and is willing to protect and defend his woman. (Being a generous, good lover helps too!) As a side note, the heroines enjoy sex, and enjoy pleasuring their man.<br /><br />In the best of these books, the couple comes to an understanding, based on love that meshes their strengths, despite their differences. The obvious conclusion is awareness that communication will resolve their problems and that there will be rough patches ahead, but they will be weathered TOGETHER. The 'happily ever after' isn't assumed; it is achieved through compromise, work, and shared love and goals.<br /><br />Dr. Laura, you promote this wonderful relationship between the sexes, and for this I thank you.<br /><br />Gareth<br /><br />(Yeah, I know it's a guy's name, but my mother never gave up hope!)</p>
Staff
2013-10-22T19:26:00Z
'In the Day' Mug
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/In-the-Day-Mug/-365442488936820629.html
2013-10-22T18:35:00Z
2013-10-22T18:35:00Z
<p><br />Dearest Mommy Laura,</p>
<p>I'm one of your unknown masses who have adopted you as Mom. Your daughter-in-law-to-be is very lucky. You often mention, "In the day…" when referring how proper young ladies, gentlemen, or parents should act. My father raised me and had those values although it made me have a fit on my first date when my dad took the young man into the other room and spoke to him for a half hour before we could leave the house. I have no idea what my dad said to him, but that boy didn't come any closer than three feet in our entire date. Now that I'm older, I appreciate what my dad did.</p>
<p>Enclosed is a gift for you that I painted myself and put those great words, "In the Day". Hope you enjoy.</p>
<p>God Bless you always,</p>
<p>Kathy<br /><br /><img style="margin: 5px;" src="/images/blog/in_the_day_mug_1a.jpg" alt="" /><br /><br /><img style="margin: 5px;" src="/images/blog/in_the_day_mug_2a.jpg" alt="" /></p>
Staff
2013-10-22T18:35:00Z
Keeping The Spark Alive In Your Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-The-Spark-Alive-In-Your-Marriage/-177406498536015001.html
2013-10-21T18:05:00Z
2013-10-21T18:05:00Z
<p><br />I have been happily married now for 23 years. And each year it gets even better. Why you ask? Constant communication and not being selfish. When it comes to communication it takes two: one who is willing to share feelings and thoughts openly and the other who is a thoughtful active listener. My husband and I have a great desire to make each other happy.<br /><br />The most recent example of how we implement this is how he has told me for years that he loves seeing me naked, and not just before love making. Anytime makes him happy. Like if we are getting ready to go somewhere, he would love it if I got ready in my birthday suit. He thinks most men would love it if their wives did this. But us women are so self-conscience about our bodies that we rob our men of this joy. So we have to step out of our own selfish mind set and simply believe them when they say they love our body! This is what I have recently been doing for my husband. I mean if he's telling me something that will make him this happy and I don't do it, then that's just cruel. <br /><br />Arrianne</p>
Staff
2013-10-21T18:05:00Z
My Crazy Delusional Parents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Crazy-Delusional-Parents/-399373213844979571.html
2013-10-21T18:00:00Z
2013-10-21T18:00:00Z
<p><br />My parents have always felt that they come before my husband and our children. They not only feel that they deserve and are entitled to it, but are extremely punitive when we don't conform to their "needs". I finally came to grips with the damage that this was causing. I told them that they were not invited over anymore and they kept showing up anyway and starting arguments. We finally just moved out of the area and didn't tell them where we were. They then hired a detective to find us and tried to have us excommunicated from our church because we would not let them see our children. Our church basically told them to "cool it" or they would be the ones in jeopardy. We have not heard from them in almost 8 years. I finally feel like I am healing and I only wish I had done it sooner. Our children are growing up without family nearby - that part kind of sucks - but we felt confident when we had to choose the lesser of the two evils. <br /><br />Lori</p>
Staff
2013-10-21T18:00:00Z
I Am My Mom's Kid and My Kids' Mom!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Am-My-Moms-Kid-and-My-Kids-Mom!/-864896233893557644.html
2013-10-18T17:34:00Z
2013-10-18T17:34:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I am a 41-year-old mom of 3 amazing boys ages 14, 12, and 8, and am BLESSED beyond words to be my husband’s girlfriend and my kids' mom. I owe this in part to you. I've been a listener and HUGE FAN since before my kidlets were born. But in a VERY LARGE WAY I also owe this to my own mother – who was "Her Kids' Mom" since before you were even on the radio to guide and encourage her.<br /><br />When my mom was a little girl she got a kidney infection that the doctors said would kill her. Thankfully, she survived. She believes she was saved because she was meant to do something special and important with her life: to give life to and raise my brother and I.<br /><br />When I was born, my parents had very little money, and my mom went back to work when I was 6 weeks old. That lasted less than a week. At the young age of 21, even without "Mother Laura", my mom had the good sense to figure out that a day care worker could NEVER replace a mother's love, so she quit her job and stayed home to take care of me. Somehow she and my dad figured out how to make it work.<br /><br />Needless to say my mom has done a whole lot of things with her life that the world would label "special and important". When my brother and I started school, she went back to earn a nursing degree, and began her career as a surgical nurse. Like you, she got up at 4:30 every morning so she could work an 8 hour shift in the hospital and be home by the time my brother and I got off the bus in the afternoons. The rest of her days were spent feeding us and schlepping us to our activities. Both my brother and I ended up graduating from our state university with honors in Mechanical Engineering.<br /><br />A couple of weeks ago my parents took my 8-year-old to a football game at the university that I attended. My son, who thinks of me only as his "mommy" – which is perfectly OK with me - was fascinated to be reminded that I had gone to school there too, not just his daddy, and had gotten a degree in Mechanical Engineering, just like his daddy. He was also fascinated to hear that I used to have a JOB in engineering, and he wondered when and why I had stopped working. She told him, I had stopped working when his big brother was born so that I could be home to take care of him. And then she added this: "Why do you think you have so much sunshine?" Sunshine is what we call my 8-year-old’s face when it lights up with his amazing smile. "It’s because for your whole life, when you woke up from your naps, your mommy has always been there to give you a hug and tell you that she loves you."<br /><br />What an amazing Grandma…what an amazing mom…and what an amazing legacy she has left our family. She has truly done something special and important with her life.<br /><br />With much love and respect,<br /><br />Jennifer</p>
Staff
2013-10-18T17:34:00Z
When Dating a Daughter...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-Dating-a-Daughter.../-780964280842673685.html
2013-10-18T17:30:00Z
2013-10-18T17:30:00Z
<p><br />In the 1960's we lived on a mountain overlooking Addis Ababa, mainly because our father was Ethiopia's first Safari Outfitter.<br /><br />It was a balmy evening as my sister was waiting for her date to pick her up. The family saw the flash of headlights as his car pulled in the compound. He parked and tooted the horn....<br /><br />Dad told my sister to stay put and went to the door and yelled; "If you want to date my daughter, come to the door!"<br /><br />There was a grinding of gears, and gravel flew as he raced back down the mountain. I'm not sure the date was ever consummated.<br /><br />"Dad!," screamed my sister. We looked at my father, and all broke into laughter as Dad looked down at the rifle in his hand that he had been cleaning.<br /><br />Michael</p>
Staff
2013-10-18T17:30:00Z
I Was Told One Thing, But Taught Another
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Was-Told-One-Thing,-But-Taught-Another/-46304000372775218.html
2013-10-17T17:31:00Z
2013-10-17T17:31:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I was told as a child that I should open doors for women, treat them with respect, defer or apologize to them when it is necessary. I was told that it is polite to hold an umbrella for a woman I am walking with, and that I should be willing to carry objects for her if necessary. I was told to always sit to the right of a woman with whom I was out when at a dining table, to stand when she arrives or leaves, always holding her chair for her, to fill her glass before mine, and to never touch my silverware before she has lifted her salad fork, nor eat quickly enough that I would be finished with my plate before her. All of these things I was told as a child.<br /><br />What I was taught, however, was what never exited between the teeth of my parents. What I was taught had nothing to do with what I was told. I was taught that women must be subjugated. I was taught that finances are none of a woman's business. I was taught that the only reason women exist are for sexual pleasure and for raising the natural result of the same. It was shown to me that women don't deserve respect, love, or kind words, neither do they have the right to independence, freedom of expression, or material desires. Women are chattel, to be owned and proudly displayed. All of these things I was taught as a child.<br /><br />I don't love my parents. I have some fondness for my mother, and I pity her; my father has met his grandson exactly twice. The closest he could come to locating me is knowing that I live somewhere in a small town about 80 miles from him. I'm waiting for him to die so that I won't have to think about the repulsiveness of him being alive somewhere.<br /><br />I wasn't taught how to respect people until I was nearly grown. I was 19, had been living away from my parents for three years, before I started learning how to treat people well. I have the greatest respect for my wife and place her needs above my own, except with regards to a serious long-term illness that I have. I defer to her judgment when she has more experience. I talk to her before making large purchases. I assist her in completing household chores. Sometimes, when I feel up to it, I clean up a very significant portion of her own chores before she gets home from work, just to see her cry in happiness.<br /><br />I will never *tell* my son anything about how to treat a woman. I will *teach* him how to show respect, love, and appreciation. If there's one positive thing I learned from my father, it's that telling is not teaching.<br /><br />By the way, I'm an old man speaking of ancient times. I'm 28.<br /><br />Christopher<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2013-10-17T17:31:00Z
Whooping Cough Vaccine Information
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Whooping-Cough-Vaccine-Information/621728699462633235.html
2013-10-17T17:29:00Z
2013-10-17T17:29:00Z
<p><br />I am currently 27 weeks pregnant with my first child. I heard the call about the mother-in-law not wanting to get the whooping cough vaccine. I was SO frustrated over the husband's lack of backbone and the grandmother's selfishness.<br /><br />I am seeing my OBGYN and a specialist. My specialist told me matter of fact, "If anyone around you doesn't want to get the whopping cough vaccine, tell them they are invited to your child's 1st birthday party and are NOT allowed to see the baby any sooner." It is a BIG deal. Reported cases of whooping cough are rising and in my area have surpassed 2012 totals already this year! <br /><br />Our family has waited 7 years for this baby and is overjoyed! Like you, Dr. Laura, my family members would walk to China to get the vaccine if needed! I hope that new mother stays strong and demands the best for her child. <br /><br />Dr. Laura you are simply WONDERFUL! My marriage was good, but now it is GREAT! I can't thank you enough! I've read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and it makes all the difference...men are really very simple creatures. I couldn't stop talking about the book, lent it to a friend, and never got my copy back....I guess that's a good sign! <br /><br />Take care and press on. <br /><br />All the best,<br /><br />Lauren</p>
Staff
2013-10-17T17:29:00Z
Parental Cooperation is Crucial
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parental-Cooperation-is-Crucial/857396476419943117.html
2013-10-16T16:51:00Z
2013-10-16T16:51:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I love your show, have listened since 1999 and am a current subscriber to your Dr. Laura Family Premium membership and listen to your podcasts daily. This is in response to your recent comments regarding public schools. <br /><br />I am an administrator in a public school in a small town in Montana. We have approximately 315 students in our school district, grades K-12. I do see- and agree with- most of your beliefs about public schools and I do think that the banning of "balls" on the playground in some school in Washington is a bit ridiculous. This is extreme, I know. The real problem is violent children on the playground and these children should consistently be disciplined for bad behavior. Private schools- or homeschooling- is not totally the answer. The problem is children- of all genders, ethnicity, races and economic backgrounds- come to school and exhibit their anger and aggression of the downfalls of their family deficiencies onto other children. These are not accidents or "boo-boos"- nothing a bandaid will solve. These are deliberate acts of aggression and shortcomings! At this point, I see- on a daily basis- major family dysfunction. Most schools- private, public or home- lack a real plan of expectation and discipline. And if a parent rejects discipline, detention, etc. we cannot even carry out the consequence. So this is a societal/parenting problem which, I know, you advocate for a change. <br /><br />As far as the product/outcome of education and graduation reading/math rates I want to share my experience. The No Child Left Behind Act has mandated any school that receives federal funding could be private, public, charter and some homeschooling programs are mandated to adopt and implement curriculum according to Common Core by 2014. We implemented the math common core this year and I am pleasantly surprised. I was skeptical but have found a wonderland of analytical thinking and philosophy! It was created by educators and contains a variety of choices for school districts and- unbelievably- contains lots of choices within the district. We do not have the data yet to assess the outcome of this change but I do believe that we WILL see higher scores, better students, more competent individuals! Even amongst the controversy. <br /><br />The bottom line is, the family unit- across all economic and religious background- is broken. Many of our "problem children" have families who could EASILY homeschool or afford private school. No help with homework, even. Please do not blame the schools no matter what they may be when nothing is efficient without parental cooperation and family health. It's not OUR fault! We go into this profession most of us with the love of children. And those who don't have a pool of scrutiny. It's time for the parents to educate themselves on HOW TO BE PARENTS. I wish Parenting Classes were MANDATORY in ALL educational curriculum. All things depend upon each other. Thank you for everything! <br /><br />Miranda<br /><br /></p>
Staff
2013-10-16T16:51:00Z
Video Games
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Video-Games/974890683121899950.html
2013-10-16T16:50:00Z
2013-10-16T16:50:00Z
<p><br />Thought you would get a hoot out of this.<br /><br />We are raising 3 of our grandsons, working our way through the obstacles as they come. Our 11-year-old was recently invited to a new friend's house after school. After meeting the mother and making the arrangements, off little Billy went. When he came home he shared that the other boy had video games in his room and wanted to play a rated "M" game, which of course Billy is not allowed to play. Billy had the courage to say he couldn't play that game and the boys found something else to do. He also went on to tell me "ALL the kids in 5th grade play that game" and this little boy's mom didn't want her son to feel left out so she bought him the game. <br /><br />After praising him for making good choices, I added with a smile, "You do know I really don't care if you feel left out, we are not buying you the game."...Nice try, kiddo.<br /><br />Barbara</p>
Staff
2013-10-16T16:50:00Z
The Dr. Laura Movie List
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Dr.-Laura-Movie-List/-476219566722732449.html
2013-10-15T18:15:00Z
2013-10-15T18:15:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Your description of the movie, "71 Into the Fire", about the student-soldiers who fought in the Korean War touched my heart, along with your reaction to it. It reminded me of my journey to accept the fact that my baby girl was going to be a police officer. <br /><br />My girl was in her early 20's when she announced to us that she had been accepted into the police academy. My husband fought it tooth and nail; He tried every manipulation he could think of to get her to not go. <br /><br />I sat down quietly and thought about it. Then I watched every YouTube video I could find on police getting shot during a routine traffic stop. I cried for days, I prayed for a peaceful heart, then and I wished her good luck. <br /><br />She is now 26, and a detective in domestic violence. She tells us of call outs that make our blood run cold all while keeping the details private. Her fellow officers deal with it by drinking and being stupid. Dr. Laura, I listen to her because she doesn't drink - never has. She doesn't gamble, do drugs, have wild sex - none of it. The only way she has to decompress is to share it with someone who respects her lifestyle choices. So I take her calls, listen and am glad she lived to call me after another watch. <br /><br />About a year ago, a movie came out, "End of Watch". It’s about life on the streets for 2 police officers in drug ridden LA. I asked my daughter if it was true to life, she said close. I watched that movie and wept bitterly as one of the heroes was killed. Wow, a movie really can bring home the dangers of what our heroes face, it’s hard when those heroes are our children. <br /><br />I'm reading a book, <em>The Road to Virtue</em> with Tolkien and Lewis. The author talks about how our culture is being lost because our children don't have these epic tales told to them that teach morals, values and virtue. The movies you, Dr. Laura, recommend, turn back the clock on that. They teach us what should matter in life. <br /><br />Thank you for finding that fine line between personal sharing and privacy in your life. It adds to the sense of family that we get from you. <br /><br />Take care and happy day! <br /><br />Lisa</p>
Staff
2013-10-15T18:15:00Z
Office Holiday Giving
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Office-Holiday-Giving/839041614321618791.html
2013-10-15T18:00:00Z
2013-10-15T18:00:00Z
<p><br />When I used to work in offices, I dreaded the annual Secret Santa. I didn't want to "not participate" and be deemed a fuddy-duddy, but I always announced that whoever had my name please donate to the animal shelter in our county in my name. I'm retired now and don't have to deal with the situation, but I would like to pass on my wisdom from age: please get your office to combine your $10 each that you would spend on a frivolous, not needed, not wanted "gift" for one another and use it to adopt a military family in your area, or give to an animal shelter, or to meals on wheels, or find out if there is a family who could use some help with an electric or other utility bill. I had a hard time convincing my co-workers that if each of us combined our $10 we could make a real impact in some way. Just think of the real appreciation that would be generated when a gift is presented as meaningful, instead of superficial. I guarantee there wouldn't be a dry eye in the presenting group. Besides, everyone is so busy at holiday time that it would save lots of time and stress on everyone to not have to go out and get "one more obligation." <br /><br />Sincerely and with Hope, <br /><br />Gloria</p>
Staff
2013-10-15T18:00:00Z
Listen to the Warnings!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Listen-to-the-Warnings!/849237739802615831.html
2013-10-14T19:50:00Z
2013-10-14T19:50:00Z
<p><br />Good afternoon Dr. Laura: <br /><br />I am a marital and family law attorney and prior to entering private practice, I was a domestic violence and DUI prosecutor. The bulk of my career has been spent dealing with people who, amongst other defects, cannot make good decisions. I am a committed and passionate advocate for my family law clients. So, committed and passionate that sometimes I feel very disappointed when litigation does not always go our way. However, as I was lamenting a certain case this afternoon, I thought of you and the general advice you offer your audience. Then it hit me: generally speaking - these people earn themselves into these situations by choice. They marry losers, low-lives, deadbeats, abusers, and emotional withholders and otherwise emotionally evil people in the hopes that they will fix that person or that person will be different toward them. <br /><br />In the case that drove me to this email, my client keeps joking that people warned him not to marry her - even her own mother warned him that she carries a victimized attitude toward everything and is extremely selfish. So as I was feeling sad that my client won't get the relief he wants as it relates to child issues because the now ex-wife can outspend him on litigation, I began to be at peace. Peace that while I adore my client, feel empathetic toward his pain, and otherwise disappointed for him, he was warned going-in, during the "honeymoon" phase of the relationship that she would be very difficult to live with, let alone litigate against down the road. And I realized that this is not my movie - this is my client's. He chose to marry her and make a baby all while being warned in advance. His pain was 100% avoidable. <br /><br />So, what I implore your audience to do is simple: listen to those around you who warn you about others. Listen to Dr. Laura as she explains the proper timing of a marriage - and I don't mean chronologically. I mean timing in the sense of: can this guy support you and is he willing to, have you discussed some basic, yet highly important issues like child-rearing, religion, and finances, have you completed pre-marital counseling, is he/she willing to accept that the marital family is the primary family, etc.? <br /><br />And I'd like to throw in that, please don't have unprotected sex unless you're married and ready for children. The "shacked-up paternity" cases are very sad. Women have no financial protection; men have no rights without going through expensive litigation which takes months and sometimes years. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />A Family Law Attorney</p>
Staff
2013-10-14T19:50:00Z
Well-Adjusted Happy Slobs
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Well-Adjusted-Happy-Slobs/-489034302220449941.html
2013-10-14T19:45:00Z
2013-10-14T19:45:00Z
<p><br />My mother was controlling. She nagged, complained if things weren't the way she wanted them, and in general ran the household in a manner that was worthy of the pickiest drill sergeant at any boot camp. Looking back, I really believe she showed signs of having OCD, but at the time it went without comment. She kept a 50's-style June Cleaver household, to an extreme. If you moved something in the house, even a tiny nick-knack, she didn't rest until it was moved back exactly where it belonged. The house was deep-cleaned every Friday, and my dad took his shoes off outside rather than risk tracking any dirt on her freshly-scrubbed floors. There wasn't much laughter in our house growing up, but it sure was clean and orderly. <br /><br />This has affected my marriage and habits in very strong ways. I veered in the opposite direction, and I tend to not demand anything of my husband and kids, even reasonable stuff like picking up after themselves. That's probably not the best thing for any of us, and if I had it to do over my kids are 21 and 17 I'd tweak that just a little bit and have regular, reasonable expectations from them. But the one unexpected difference from my upbringing is that we laughed a LOT. We laughed at life, at each other, and at ourselves. My kids are well-adjusted, happy slobs. If that's the trade-off, I'm okay with that. I'll have clutter with love and laughter over military precision any day. <br /><br />Reva</p>
Staff
2013-10-14T19:45:00Z
Note to Self: Buck Up and Quit Whining!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Note-to-Self:-Buck-Up-and-Quit-Whining!/-859331854468517933.html
2013-10-11T19:24:00Z
2013-10-11T19:24:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have thought about calling you numerous times over the past number of weeks over the fact that I get down right angry if people ask me or tell me I need to exercise more. <br /><br />I acknowledge the above statements to be true. Yes I should exercise more. But inside I would be seething with rage. You see I got a lot of the same statements growing up. Once I would exercise I would get a lot of negative feedback from my father. So what did I do? I stopped doing anything because A I was angry and B How can I disappoint anyone if I don’t do anything? And this act of rebellion became my bad habit. <br /><br />I am happy to report changes of this behavior. You could say you were part of the aha moment I just had. <br /><br />I have been using my acts of rebellion for years as a reason not to exercise. Well not avoid it completely, but to minimize it. Anytime I felt like I was failing, or wasn’t comfortable, I would stop with it. And somehow work my past in there as an excuse. <br /><br />Well this past year I have managed to drop 35lbs mainly by changing my diet but I have reached a plateau and it has frustrated me. Enter a lot of “helpful” suggestions of adding exercise to things. Enter feeling of anger again... <br /><br />But wait... Isn’t whining about it and doing nothing kind of a waste of time? There is only one way through this thing. If I want it bad enough, then let’s go get it! <br /><br />I guess what I’m trying to say is this: Fine. I can be angry all I want. But it’s not going to get me healthier or stronger. Both of these are what I am aiming to become. As long as I am better than I was yesterday, I am headed in the right direction. <br /><br />So buck up and quit whining will be my motto for the next while. <br /><br />Thanks for all that you do, <br /><br />Carla</p>
Staff
2013-10-11T19:24:00Z
Do Some 'Research' With Your Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Do-Some-Research-With-Your-Husband/-980058142108963907.html
2013-10-11T19:20:00Z
2013-10-11T19:20:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I was listening to a podcast and a woman called upset about pornography. I've heard you talk to scads of women about this subject and wanted to share my experiences with you and your listeners in this regard.</p>
<p>My husband and I were both married and divorced early in life, and then spent many years single - I was busy concentrating on my career, and he was busy raising his daughter.</p>
<p>We met 2 years ago, he is now 40 and I am 37. We married and moved in together 6 months ago. A year before we became engaged, we read several books together, one of them your "10 Stupid Things Couples Do To Mess Up Their Relationships"... I also read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". We are grateful to you for the many ways your books and your on air advice has helped us when situations have come up. We are glad he waited to date until his daughter was raised. Her mother did not - in fact, she has been married and divorced 4 times since and has a child with each of her 5 ex-husbands. I believe it is because of my husbands' responsible decisions in regards to raising his daughter, and spending every moment he could with her instead of dating. That is the reason I am blessed to have an excellent relationship with his adult daughter. While I realize that doesn't go along with the subject of my email, it does explain why LISTENING TO DR. LAURA'S ADVICE MAKES SENSE, AND WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE EASIER BOTH IN THE SHORT AND THE LONG RUN.</p>
<p>Back to the caller - she said before she discovered her husband was looking at porn they were very sexually active and that she enjoyed that sex a great deal. After she discovered it, they are still having sex a great deal but she's still jealous of the porn. Well guess what? About a month after we married and I moved in, I was talking with my husband about sex (because of our excellent communication skills developed in part from reading your books we are able to have frank, honest conversations about anything.) and he mentioned that he often watches Internet porn when I'm not here. Just as I felt my "back come up", he then went on to say he felt that watching the porn had been a big factor in our amazing sex life. He said he considered it "research". He said it gives him ideas, and more importantly the confidence to TRY those ideas.</p>
<p>As women, we want to believe that we are the only vision our husband sees when he thinks about sex or masturbates. The reality is that not only is that not true, putting that kind of pressure on a man when the subject of porn comes up is comparable to taking a baseball bat to his ego. All men have different ego needs, and all relationships have different communication needs but one thing is the same: if you choose to make a man feel less than a man or like he is "doing something wrong" when looking at porn - THAT is when porn will take your place. THAT is when using porn will become easier than being with you.</p>
<p>So hopefully my philosophy will help other women: He's doing research. Isn't that sweet? When I turn on our computer and I see porn sites in the history, I IMMEDIATELY get excited -NOT upset- at the idea of the next wonderful thing he will show me. My husband has surprised me with some of the most amazingly romantic sexual adventures. Yes I said romantic. The idea that all porn is nasty, or carnal is just that - an idea that women allow into their brains because of insecurity and jealousy.</p>
<p>Turn around, ladies. It's NO DIFFERENT than us seeing a mannequin in a store in a beautiful outfit and thinking "I'd really like to buy that, I think I would look great in it". And then we buy it, take it home, try it on, and revel in the pleasure in our husbands' eyes at seeing us in it. That mannequin was our female equivalent of their "research".</p>
<p>Don't believe me? Try "doing some research" WITH your husband. Then watch him take notes and turn those "moves" on you. You won't be disappointed.</p>
<p>I hope this email helps at least one woman get past her negative feelings, and realize it's NOT always about them!</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura for your amazing contribution to our society, our families, our relationships and our ability to "Go Do The Right Thing"</p>
<p><br />Samantha</p>
Staff
2013-10-11T19:20:00Z
When Someone Is Annoying
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-Someone-Is-Annoying/-175760942484644989.html
2013-10-11T19:15:00Z
2013-10-11T19:15:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />As I listened to your monologue about annoying people, I immediately thought of my sister. Over the years, I have bitten my tongue for the sake of family over her rude behaviors. Plus EVERYTHING has to revolve around her. She would call me on the phone and start rambling about her work, her kids, her drama...I couldn't even get a word in edgewise to comment on what she was saying. When she took a breath, I would try to slip in a nugget about one of my children. She would immediately cut me off and say, "No, no...This is MY nickel" (a reference to the days when a long distance phone call was expensive) and she would proceed on. At that point, I would say, "I have to go now." I have told her many times that a conversation is like a two-way street, but she never did get it. Over the past year, we had a falling out and haven't spoken much. I have to say, I haven't missed her calls. <br /><br />Last month, I emailed her and my other siblings to invite them to a celebration for our mother's 80th birthday. She immediately called our mother and complained that I emailed the invitation to her rather than calling, and that I used the wrong email address! Because of those egregious errors on my part - she declined. Other than being mad that she complained to my mother, I was very happy she didn't attend. I realized she would have made the party all about her and not my mother. <br /><br />Family or not, when someone is annoying to the point of rudeness ALL the time, who needs them! Life is short. Spend time with the people you love and enjoy. <br /><br />Thanks for bringing this subject up. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Danielle</p>
Staff
2013-10-11T19:15:00Z
The Day I Grew Up!!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Day-I-Grew-Up!!/-401329428927082271.html
2013-10-10T18:30:00Z
2013-10-10T18:30:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I called you a week ago regarding my husband and his early retirement which turned into expensive farming and being around the house more often. You totally jumped down my throat after I told you I was the type of person who needed my space. THANK YOU!</p>
<p>The next morning my husband left the house at 10:30 and said, "I guess it is time for me to get out of your way." I replied with, "You are NOT in my way." I told my mother what I said to my husband. A few days later she told me, "The day you told him he is not in your way is the day 'YOU GREW UP'." This morning I sent him a text message even though he was just upstairs. I said, "Dear Sweetheart. It was very wrong and selfish of me to expect you to leave the house every day. Please forgive me. You no longer need to cringe every time I walk up the stairs. This is your home too! I love you." He replied with, "What has gotten into you? You must have been talking with your mother who is never shy about offering you advice!" I told him it was not her but she had been telling me this for years.</p>
<p>This past week has been so awesome! I am finally acting like the wife he wants. I ordered your book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands", and I am excited to grow even more.</p>
<p>I have asked a very close friend to hold me accountable to honor my husband. This is new for me, I have never asked anyone to hold me accountable.</p>
<p>Thank you for your wisdom and TOTALLY changing my attitude! May your day be a very blessed one.....like mine.</p>
<p>Suzanne</p>
Staff
2013-10-10T18:30:00Z
Honoring Stay-at-Home Moms
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Honoring-Stay-at-Home-Moms/-943009355876497863.html
2013-10-10T18:25:00Z
2013-10-10T18:25:00Z
<p><br />Hello Dr Laura. <br /><br />I listen to the replay of your radio show at work each day on the "on demand" feature of Sirius/XM. <br /><br />I read a blog entry written by a new dad, which focused on conversations he had with a couple of women who asked about his babies and his wife. The women asked when his wife would be returning to work. I was so impressed with the manner in which he replied to them. It was much more elegantly worded than my reply when faced with the same situation. I plan to arm myself with it for the NEXT time I am asked, "What does your wife do for work?", or "When will your wife be returning to work?" <br /><br />Here is the blog entry: <a href="http://themattwalshblog.com/2013/10/09/youre-a-stay-at-home-mom-what-do-you-do-all-day/" target="_blank">“You’re a stay-at-home mom? What do you DO all day?”</a> <br /><br />Thank you for your sage advice Dr Laura! <br /><br />Tom</p>
Staff
2013-10-10T18:25:00Z
A Mother-in-Law's Reaction
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Mother-in-Laws-Reaction/-91450322011221363.html
2013-10-09T18:31:00Z
2013-10-09T18:31:00Z
<p><br />I love hearing about your plans as a future mother-in-law. I am the daughter-in-law to a perfectly delightful mother-in-law, and a mother-in-law to one son-in-law. (I'll have another son-in-law come February.) I thought I would share with you a story from my own experience of being a mother-in-law. Evidently it is unusual, since when I mentioned it to a friend she said I could teach her mom a thing or two about being a mother-in-law. <br /><br />First, some background: My daughter and son-in-law have done a marvelous job together as a married couple. Before they had their own home, they saved all her salary and lived on his income. They used her salary for a down payment on a home, and continued to live on his income alone as she prepared to be a stay-at-home mom. <br /><br />When they were expecting their first child I was a guest in their home while I was in their city on business. Early the first morning, my son-in-law left for work, then came back in to talk to me. He had forgotten I was parked in their driveway, and had hit my car as he pulled out of the garage. Poor guy! <br /><br />What did I do? I didn't go out and look. I just asked, "Is your car drivable?" He said Yes. "Is my car drivable?" Again he said, "Yes." "Ok then, go on to work. We'll worry about this later." I have never said anything to him about this again. He did ask the cost and I told him it was no big deal. I just got my car repaired and went on with life. After all, he loves and provides for our daughter, their son and now a soon-to-be second son! A dent in my car? Nothing compared to that. <br /><br />Thank you for all the sanity you speak to the world. May God bless your growing family with a joy! <br /><br />Candy</p>
Staff
2013-10-09T18:31:00Z
Why Have a Child At All?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Have-a-Child-At-All/49351263757102199.html
2013-10-09T18:27:00Z
2013-10-09T18:27:00Z
<p><br />I had been a divorced mom for 15 years and did everything I could do to be a stay-at-home mom. I started a business so I could work the hours my children were in school and still be there for field trips, sick days, and school holidays. We were on a VERY tight budget for many years with sometimes having to make the choice between gas money and milk at the end of the month, but it was the best decision of my entire life. <br /><br />I am recently an "empty nester" with both of my children having graduated and set off on their college adventure. As I was looking for jobs, I ran across the following nanny position description and was dismayed at thinking, "Why have a child at all?" Here's the exact wording from the ad: <br /><br /><em>We're looking for an experienced caregiver to take care of our three boys from 2-8pm Monday-Thursday each week. Responsibilities include:</em><br /><br /><em>-picking up the boys from school</em><br /><br /><em>-prepare after school snacks</em><br /><br /><em>-ensure homework gets done</em><br /><br /><em>-lead afternoon activities like pool, park, art, crafts, soccer/hockey practice</em><br /><br /><em>-prepare dinner for the boys</em><br /><br /><em>-supervise bath time routine</em><br /><br /><em>-get the boys in their pajamas and ready for bed </em><br /><br />I ask the question again, if you didn't want to spend time with your kids, why have kids at all? Is more money really worth the children growing up with "weekend parents"? <br /><br />Dr Laura, I took your philosophy to heart many years ago when I first had my children and I DID THE RIGHT THING and was there for them 24/7. I RAISED THEM. Good or bad, credit or blame, the responsibility was mine. I have made many mistakes as a parent, but the one thing my children have always known... they are #1 in my life. They are secure knowing that they are valuable, treasured and more than anything, that they are WORTH the sacrifice. This is what has helped to shape their self esteem. <br /><br />Thank you for continuing to encourage young parents to make the choice to put their kids first. <br /><br />Sharon</p>
Staff
2013-10-09T18:27:00Z
Parenting Style - My "Jewels"
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parenting-Style---My-Jewels/420528635468770723.html
2013-10-08T21:57:00Z
2013-10-08T21:57:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />My parenting style has been influenced by several "jewels" that I have heard or learned over the years. Note that each of these are a principle, not a method. Methods can be helpful sometimes but in making daily parenting decisions there must be guiding principles. Here are a few of my jewels:<br /><br />"Rules without relationship equals rebellion." - Josh McDowell. The reality is that when my children obey me because they fear punishment, their obedience is limited to the fear of getting caught. But, if they choose to obey me because they love me and care about our relationship because I demonstrate value in the relationship, they will choose good behavior most of the time even if I'm not around to catch them.<br /><br />"Punish for willful disobedience, not childish irresponsibility." James Dobson. Accidentally spilled milk is childish irresponsibility and doesn't deserve punishment. It deserves a cup with a lid or to be moved to a safer place on the table. However, knocking your milk over at the dinner table because you were hitting your little brother after being asked to stop three times, is willful disobedience and warrants punishment. Fairness, consistency and justice in parenting goes a long way to earn the respect of children.<br /><br />"You will not hit, hurt, insult, disdain or otherwise harm one of my children - even if you are one of my children." I have never, ever tolerated sibling bickering or rivalries. One time when my oldest was 5 years old, I tired of her constant bullying of her little sister. In a moment of peace and quiet, I asked her what she would like me to do to anyone who bullied her. She had many ideas for how I should defend her - including physical harm of the bully. I let her monologue for a few moments and then looked her square in the eye and said, "You have bullied one of my children. Your little sister is one of my children. Should I defend her against you in the ways you just listed?" We rarely had any sibling conflicts after that that weren't handled with love and respect.<br /><br />"Discipline and Disciple are only different by 2 letters and there is a season for each." When kids are little they need to be disciplined. But, if I've done my job as a parent, there comes a transition where they begin to obey me as they want to please me because they value our relationship. And if that relationship is good and strong, my child will welcome my discipleship, or mentoring/training. This happened with my 3 oldest kids around the age of 14-15. And because we have modeled an authentic Christian principled lifestyle, our children grew greatly in their relationship with God about the same time and all came to a point when their obedience was all about pleasing their Heavenly Father. And that of course, pleased their parents.<br /><br />"What's important to you is important to me." We work as a team and cheer each other on!!<br /><br />We are 3 down and 1 to go and all of them bring us more joy than anything on earth!!<br /><br />Kimberlee</p>
Staff
2013-10-08T21:57:00Z
The Importance of Grandparents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-of-Grandparents/361067930595590822.html
2013-10-08T21:55:00Z
2013-10-08T21:55:00Z
<p><br />I listened to you read a message about a <a href="/b/Grandpa-and-Grandson-Build-a-Bicycle-Together/974953332106098956.html" target="_self">grandfather and his grandson building a new bicycle</a>. It made me smile because I also have a close relationship with my oldest grandson. <br /><br />When my son was going through a divorce, both son and grandson moved in with us. I am 65+ so I thought I was finished with raising children. As my son struggled to come to grips with a failed marriage, I saw him become a wonderful father. But I also found myself becoming a mother figure to my grandson. One night, he came downstairs and got into our bed between his Nana and Papa. It broke my heart when he took my hand and his papa's hand and put them together on his little heart. I realized then that we were his security. I taught him how to ride his bicycle running and holding the bike upright and sweating more that I ever thought I could. But when he finally got to where he could ride it himself, he was so proud! When he showed his dad and papa, he rode around the entire block. I was so proud of him. I also watched with joy when I had him run in the rain just for fun. He did not have to worry about getting his jeans wet...just run and enjoy the rain. <br /><br />Fast forward 10 years, and he is doing great in a Christian private school. I still am close to him, picking him up almost everyday from school. We discuss things of importance. He still calls me Mama sometimes, but I let it go. We have built wonderful memories.<br /><br />Margaret</p>
Staff
2013-10-08T21:55:00Z
Selling His Toys
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Selling-His-Toys/504158526793393412.html
2013-10-07T18:29:00Z
2013-10-07T18:29:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Recently we purchased a new home and I had to brag about what my husband did. <br /><br />We had more than enough money in our savings for a down payment, to make all repairs, buy everything necessary and not so necessary, with plenty of money left over. We didn't borrow a dime and we still paid off our credit card at the end of the month. Even still, to make sure that we would be more than comfortable my husband did something that you might consider sacrilegious, Dr. Laura. <br /><br />.....he sold his motorcycle. Gasp. I know. I was shocked, too. When we first got married he wanted this particular toy. He worked so hard that I would not have given him a hard time over it, even if he wanted to take out a loan. But he found a nice used one on Craigslist that was within our price range and we didn't go into debt for it. He enjoyed it for a few years until we decided to buy a house and one of the first things he started doing was selling his toys. <br /><br />I want to brag about how awesome my husband is. A lot of people would be reluctant to give up THEIR toys, but there wasn't even a second thought in my husband's mind. I tried to encourage him to keep it, because, after all, we didn't really need to sell it, but he was insistent the money he would get for it could go toward stuff we want for the house. Cool guy, huh? <br /><br />I think you would both approve and disapprove because his actions were completely selfless, thus worthy of approval, and disapproving because, well, it WAS a motorcycle. <br /><br />I'm sure you're dying to know what kind, right? It was a 2003 Virago Velusia. Nothing special, and we didn't get a lot for it, but that's not what matters. It was the actions of my awesome husband that matters the most. <br /><br />I know you're probably really upset, Dr. Laura, but I promise we'll make it up to you by getting a Harley next time. <br /><br />Katherine</p>
Staff
2013-10-07T18:29:00Z
How to Raise a Bratty Kid
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-to-Raise-a-Bratty-Kid/101975493526724390.html
2013-10-07T18:20:00Z
2013-10-07T18:20:00Z
<p><br />Hey there Dr. Laura! <br /><br />I wrote a satiric blog titled, "How to Raise a Bratty Useless and Entitled Child". I really think you would like it and would love it if you would read it. Here's a snippet of some of it. -- Jessica <br /> <br /><br /><a href="http://jessicahooley.com/how-to-raise-a-bratty-useless-and-entitled-child/" target="_blank"><strong>"How to Raise a Bratty Useless and Entitled Child" </strong></a><br /><br />Now with all of the hub-bub and hoopla about Miley Cyrus going around I know just what you’re thinking… <br /><br />HOW CAN I GET MY KID TO BE JUST LIKE HER?! <br /><br />How can I ensure that I raise a human being who is vain, egotistical, loose, demeaning, entitled, lazy, Godless, useless to society and overall much like an animal in heat? If this is your goal, you’re in luck! By utilizing these simple parenting tips, you can have your child right where you want them in no time flat! So let’s get started: <br /><br />THEY ARE NEVER WRONG <br /><br />I don’t care if your child says that two plus two equals five, they are never wrong. Good parents understand that there is no right and wrong in our liberated society. Just because an answer is different doesn’t make it bad. Encourage creative thinking and egomania by fortifying the idea that your child is never wrong. From the time your child begins playing with other children in their toddler years, resolve conflicts by pacifying your child and blaming the other child for the altercation. When your child grows to participate in sports, blame their lack of playtime on the coach and politics instead of your child’s skill and work ethic. If executed correctly, they will one day grow to have unfulfilling relationships because the only people willing to stand them will be those with low self-esteem. <br /><br />Bonus Tip! If someone accuses your child of doing something wrong vandalism, poor behavior in school, bad grades, etc. make sure your child is present and immediately turn the situation around on the person doing the blaming. Raise your voice and let them know that your child could not possibly be in the wrong and that they should be ashamed for making such a big deal about nothing." <br /><br />Read the other 6 ways: <a href="http://jessicahooley.com/how-to-raise-a-bratty-useless-and-entitled-child/" target="_blank">"How to Raise a Bratty Useless and Entitled Child"</a></p>
Staff
2013-10-07T18:20:00Z
What a Woman Can Do to a Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-a-Woman-Can-Do-to-a-Man/975230295628452502.html
2013-10-04T16:55:00Z
2013-10-04T16:55:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr Laura,</p>
<p>If a man has a modicum of motivation, a woman can bring it out of him a million fold. Seriously-he could be playin' video games, drinkin' beer, watchin' football one day, but then bump into a freckle-faced, butt chinned, giggling young lady the next and suddenly he's walking on the moon, going from mail room to CEO in two years-all those impossible things because... He's in love. In between all that achievement he'll occasionally act a fool just to get that giggle fix, you know, because he's in love. This is what a woman can do to a man.</p>
<p>I heard Dennis Prager paraphrase this phenomenon once: "A woman wants to be loved by a man she admires; a man wants to be admired by a woman he loves." I've also heard a lady mention it on your show back in the terrestrial radio days. She described how her husband had busted his butt to get a promotion and a raise and a bigger house for the family, and she said to him, "Honey, I'm so proud of you." And he responded, "I love you too." Same language; yet different. Profound harmony nonetheless.</p>
<p>Supreme motivation! A good woman can cause all that just by giggling-- giggling in front of a good man.</p>
<p>John</p>
Staff
2013-10-04T16:55:00Z
Dr. Laura's Girls' Night Out!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dr.-Lauras-Girls-Night-Out!/-410746709895284914.html
2013-10-04T15:59:00Z
2013-10-04T15:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am so excited to share this story with you! I have held you close to heart for many years. You have been my "Mom" so to speak: the Mom of my dreams! <br /><br />Recently, I attended a child's birthday party of a friend. I sat next to a young woman who was an acquaintance. Somehow we started talking about children and families. It was then that stars collided and friends forever were bonded! I felt comfortable enough to mention my hero. YOU! She said, Oh my goodness I love her too! We continued to talk and laugh and bond as Dr. Laura fans!</p>
<p>It was so amazing. We were eye to eye through the entire meal: Tuned in and so happy to have found one another. We barely were eating and just excited to share common values. We spoke of past shows and lessons we had learned. Before we left, we made plans to have a girls night and play her Dr. Laura board game.</p>
<p>Wow! The world is becoming so void of morals and ethics. It was a beautiful! It was sappy and I loved it!</p>
<p>Sassy</p>
<p>P.S. I will let you know who wins the game! Actually, we both win and so do those around us!</p>
Staff
2013-10-04T15:59:00Z
A Student's Perspective on the Real Value of Graduates
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Students-Perspective-on-the-Real-Value-of-Graduates/-15931619679694278.html
2013-10-03T15:52:00Z
2013-10-03T15:52:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>As a senior at the University of Texas in the process of searching for a full-time job, I found your take on the current post-grad situation disconcerting.</p>
<p>You discussed the struggles of employers who must wade through resume after resume from scores of students with over-inflated GPAs and no real skills. What you failed to address is the struggle that we competent students face when we find out how little these employers actually value us.</p>
<p>You're right to say that grades don’t matter anymore—they don’t. At least in my industry public relations, experience is king. A 3.8 GPA used to be an impressive thing, and would probably get you an interview at most firms. Soon, though, everyone began making good grades and the qualifier became internship experience. This quickly shifted to two internships, then three or four.</p>
<p>In a college city such as the one I’m in, the quest for internships is more competitive than the school’s football team. Each semester, my classmates and I send out dozens of résumés and cover letters touting our knowledge and skills. When no one responds, we follow up and send out dozens more. We attend lectures, networking events and job fairs, all in the hopes of securing one more prized internship. We finally get an interview with an employer. We research and prepare days in advance. We make sure we’re wearing the perfect professional outfit and arrive at the interview. We then agonize for days afterward over whether or not we got the unpaid internship.</p>
<p>That’s right. Unpaid.</p>
<p>I am now working in my third unpaid internship of my college career. Meanwhile, I have a part-time job in order to earn an income. My weekdays consist of shuttling between my internship, job and campus to attend classes. There’s no other option; as you said, a 3.8 GPA doesn’t impress anyone, and without copious relevant experience, job prospects are slim.</p>
<p>The majority of employers, at least in my field and in my city, take advantage of this desperation by offering to students coveted experience and nothing else. They know we need internships, and they exploit us because of it. In 1992, the number of college graduates who took an unpaid internship was 17%. Today, it’s 50%. </p>
<p>I understand the difficulty of finding suitable hires. As someone in a writing-intensive major, I get as annoyed as the next guy when I see a poorly written cover letter. I cannot, however, sympathize with the employers who must sift through them.</p>
<p>You talked about judging the “real value” of a student. The word ‘value’ is defined as “the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.” Employers go through a lengthy process to find this combination in a student. This begs the question: if we’re deemed to be deserving, important, worthy and useful, why are we then not treated as such?</p>
<p>I hope you'll consider a student's perspective.</p>
<p>Sarah</p>
Staff
2013-10-03T15:52:00Z
Retailers' Tricks
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Retailers-Tricks/339912554414934699.html
2013-10-03T15:49:00Z
2013-10-03T15:49:00Z
<p><br /><br />I couldn't resist writing after hearing the opening of your September 26, 2013 show regarding tricks retailers use to get us to buy more.</p>
<p>Once I was returning from the Hamburg, Germany airport to my home in Wilhelmshaven, Germany. The midpoint of the journey was in Bremen. I needed to go to the bathroom; so I stopped at an IKEA furniture store. Upon entering, I was rewarded by a sign reading "Toiletten" (in German that's restrooms) embossed on an arrow pointing left. I dutifully went left and two aisles later encountered a similar sign pointing to the right. So off to the right I went.</p>
<p>I think you can see where this is going. At the end of my ten minute jaunt, I had meandered through every department in the store, finally arriving at my desired goal at the extreme rear of the building. As you may imagine, I was quite upset -- not at IKEA for having what I thought was a clever idea -- but at myself for having fallen for it.</p>
<p>Wayne</p>
Staff
2013-10-03T15:49:00Z
Youth is Wasted on the Young
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Youth-is-Wasted-on-the-Young/-334259592116845788.html
2013-10-02T18:05:00Z
2013-10-02T18:05:00Z
<p> </p>
Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />What would I tell a twenty year old? I would tell them that youth is fleeting so don't be so hard on yourself and enjoy your own special uniqueness. <br /><br />Enjoy the fact that you have time on your side and don't try to do everything at once. Being young is such a short period within a lifetime don't wreck it by driving when you are under any influence, or talking on a cell phone, etc. It takes only one mistake like that to end a potentially great life. <br /><br />Be kind to the older generation, they were your age once and most of us still remember that time clearly. Yes, we wish someone had told us to savor our young years instead of worrying about what our friends thought of us or that we didn't measure up to someone else's standards. Remember you will be an adult for most of your life with all the responsibilities that brings. So enjoy the freedom of being responsible only to yourself, most of your life you will have responsibilities for others, and that's good too. Make real friends and keep them for life, because they will be able to share all your youthful memories with you when you are older. They knew you when you were just forming and becoming the adult that you are now. You will be able to share stories that you both experienced and have great laughs. A very wise person told me years ago that if you had as many friends as the fingers on one hand then you are truly rich. Now I know what she meant. You accept yourself as good enough no matter how old you get, and that's a freedom that isn't there for the very young. The biggest plus is when you do get older you will be gifted with a knowledge that you don't have yet. <br /><br />So enjoy your youth and realize that every age has it benefits and don't miss out on anything. The best is yet to come! <br /><br />Elaine<br /><br />
Staff
2013-10-02T18:05:00Z
Online Dating
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Online-Dating/235113003916539771.html
2013-10-02T18:00:00Z
2013-10-02T18:00:00Z
<p> </p>
Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am a podcast listener and today I'm listening to your "Does Online Dating Work" discussion. It's funny, because my fiancé and I met on one of those dating sites. On my profile though, I wrote, "I am a faithful listener of Dr. Laura and if you don't know who she is or don't agree with her, please don't bother messaging me." I also stated very clearly that I'm dating for marriage and plan on being a stay-at-home mom. <br /><br />My now fiancé messaged me because he had wanted a stay-at-home mom for his kids. And coincidentally, his mom used to listen to you while she picked him up from school since she was a SAHM. We emailed each other. Before we met, we made our intentions very clear: reason for dating, future goals, where we see ourselves in 5-10 years, religion, political preferences, etc. We talked for a week and found out that we agreed on most important things. THEN we decided to meet in a very public place -- the museum of natural science! <br /><br />It wasn't love at first sight. I checked his I.D. to make sure he was who he said he was. That was 3 years ago. We dated for 2 years before we decided we were right for each other. So, even though you don't think online dating works, we prove that it does... ironically, thanks to you. <br /><br />Cindy
Staff
2013-10-02T18:00:00Z
What a Woman Can Do to a Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-a-Woman-Can-Do-to-a-Man/-502474658824789138.html
2013-10-02T16:04:00Z
2013-10-02T16:04:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr Laura,</p>
<p>Thank you for reading my e-mail.</p>
<p>If a man has a modicum of motivation, a woman can bring it out of him a million fold. Seriously-he could be playin' video games, drinkin' beer, watchin' football one day, but then bump into a freckle-faced, butt chinned, giggling young lady the next and suddenly he's walking on the moon, going from mail room to CEO in two years-all those impossible things because... He's in love. In between all that achievement he'll occasionally act a fool just to get that giggle fix, you know, because he's in love. This is what a woman can do to a man.</p>
<p>I heard Dennis Prager paraphrase this phenomenon once: "A woman wants to be loved by a man she admires; a man wants to be admired by a woman he loves." I've also heard a lady mention it on your show back in the terrestrial radio days. She described how her husband had busted his butt to get a promotion and a raise and a bigger house for the family, and she said to him, "Honey, I'm so proud of you." And he responded, "I love you too." Same language; yet different. Profound harmony nonetheless.</p>
<p>Supreme motivation! A good woman can cause all that just by giggling-- giggling in front of a good man.</p>
<p>John</p>
Staff
2013-10-02T16:04:00Z
Parents Speak Their Children's World into Existence
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parents-Speak-Their-Childrens-World-into-Existence/956677203378422812.html
2013-10-01T18:05:00Z
2013-10-01T18:05:00Z
<p> </p>
Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I appreciated your commentary on the failure of our education system and the people coming out of it: high school, college or even graduate school today without the ability to develop and coherent paragraph. I can confirm your observation and not just in my own professional world today, but back in school too. We used to swap papers in graduate school at a semi-prestigious University in Washington, D.C. and until then, I had always been concerned that my writing abilities would never cut mustard in the professional world. Just about every paper I proofread sounded like an 8th grader wrote it and this was graduate school. Each was so bad, literally, that I thought that something might be wrong with me. I would re-read lines over and over again thinking I must have missed something.<br /><br />You also said that your grades improved after having left home. I can relate. I grew up in a stressful, fanatically-evangelical, regularly hysterical, and violent single-parent home. Mom was nuts. I had to leave in the middle of my senior year of high school. If I hadn’t, I felt that I might have gone careening way off the deep end. I was coming to terms with being gay at the time you see and I knew that I had to leave for my own emotional stability; it was self-preservation and it was instinctive. I was on the edge. I had it confirmed a number of years later that my decision to leave, even with only the clothes on my back, was in fact the correct one. I would not have survived otherwise, not at that age and with my sensitivity level at the time. The revelation has been bitter sweet because, as difficult as it was to just pick up and leave everything I’d ever known behind, I know that I would probably not be alive today if I hadn’t gone. We’re talking MAJOR stress. <br /><br />We never put down any roots. I was in 13 different schools because we were always moving from place to place, and from housing project to housing project. The positive side of moving so much was I never had the opportunity to become too thick with any of the indigenous thieves. You already know the negative side and it is all true. I never did seem to fit in. <br /><br />One of the things I did not expect was that, as stressful as life was for me at the time of my departure, my grades soared after I’d left home. I was working full time at 17, going to high school, living with older roommates, paying my own way and that same period represents the very first time I had ever gotten straight As in my life. For the duration of my high school career I saw nothing but As. It baffled me, yet made me really sort of giddy at the same time. I was almost afraid to take pride in it because a) there wasn’t time and b) because I half thought that it must be some mistake. I had always been under the impression that I was barely mediocre academically and was always playing catch up. I WAS always playing catch up because I was always the new kid everywhere. I didn’t know I was intelligent. I was so literally tickled and please by this phenomenon that I went to college - practically by accident too - at the suggestion and encouragement of a friend who got me the application, filled it out for me, had me sign it before he mailed it for me, to a public school that was affordable. I paid for it all myself and did very well, even making the Deans List too because I wasn’t about to have all my hard-earned money go to waste and that money was very hard earned with sweat. I’d never planned to go to graduate school until after a professor of mine took notice of me and offered me a job that would pay the tuition entirely and at the most expensive university in the country. It only took me three days to say, "Ok, yes; I’ll do it." I wanted to be there. I wanted to learn and I wanted to be successful in spite of where I’d come from. <br /><br />I wanted to be exactly who and what I wanted to be and consciously chose to believe that you can be, even in spite of what you’re told by anybody. Another one of the benefits or side effects rather of moving around so much; there are just a few, is that you don’t have to get pigeonholed into any single role or status or clique as a nerd or dweeb or jock or meathead or preppy guy which often winds up significantly influencing who you ultimately become in later life. I learned that you can pick and do and be just exactly what you want no matter what anybody says to you or does to you. <br /><br />I continue to be amazed at how the very world we live in as children depends so largely on what we are told by the adults and/or family that are in our lives, for better or worse. When we are young, our parents literally speak our world into existence. Our perception is not only formed by their influence, it is entirely their creation. What they say to us or do become our reality. More folks should recognize that they are creating the very world we live in with the words that they say. They should also tell their kids to do their homework. It makes all the difference in the world. <br /><br />Hugs, Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Tadeu
Staff
2013-10-01T18:05:00Z
Work-at-Home Moms
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Work-at-Home-Moms/769801863361116193.html
2013-10-01T18:00:00Z
2013-10-01T18:00:00Z
<p> </p>
Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am a BIG fan of yours and totally agree that the best job of all is motherhood. However, when it wasn't paying the bills, and I was offered an opportunity to work from home I jumped at it! That was almost 14 years ago. I love working from home and being available for my boys. I haven't missed a field trip, a class party or any other school activity. I have served on the school PTO for 8 years as Pres. for 3, a Boy/Cub Scout volunteer and am active in their sports activities and our church. <br /><br />I am my kids Mom I even have the shirt you sold on Mothers Day and my husbands girlfriend. And besides that I am a business professional who is respected in her field. <br /><br />Do I get tired? Sure, some days. But my boys are my life, and I am so blessed to be able to be right here at home to support them, bake cookies for them, and attend all their activities. <br /><br />Sometimes it is hard to balance because when you are home you have to know when to stop work and end of the evening. It is too easy to keep working but you learn to stop after you've done it for a while. <br /><br />I can tell the kids at school whose mothers stay home. And I feel sorry for the others who are brought to school at 6am and aren't picked up again until 6:30pm. Why do these people even have children? <br /><br />Thanks Dr. Laura for all you do & say. You made a difference in my families life! <br /><br />Working from home and loving it. <br /><br />Jane
Staff
2013-10-01T18:00:00Z
E-Har-Har-Harmony
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/E-Har-Har-Harmony/408484119536921256.html
2013-09-30T18:29:00Z
2013-09-30T18:29:00Z
<p> </p>
Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was on E-Harmony for awhile. The sign up process made me nervous. I was very leery of this online stuff. Maybe I’m more like my Grandfather than I thought. (We gave him a new radio once for Christmas. He set it up on the refrigerator in a prominent spot, while continuing to play the old radio he had stashed behind it. Technology is not to be trusted.) <br /><br />I took the multidimensional personality profile that E-Harmony boasts. Supposedly it will cut through the superfluous data and match me with highly compatible females who share my interests and values. I’m sure the profiles I saw represent nice people, but for the longest time it seemed the only matches E-Harmony sent me were 55-year old retired librarians who live in Missouri in a big house with 12 cats. I’ve got nothing against librarians or Missourians. But I live in Texas and I like dogs. They must have adjusted the algorithm slightly because I started getting matched with 48-year old women from Arkansas whose goal in life was to work for the ASPCA and rescue all the cats the librarians had yet to get to. <br /><br />Getting to know someone in an online environment is challenging for anyone. It’s not easy being single. And even more challenging when you’re divorced. Add to that, I’m an older single person. All these together are daunting for anyone. <br /><br />But nothing is ever easy for me. I’m "divorced, older, single guy with a plastic eye."<br /><br />In the interest of full disclosure, how do you gently work that into an online instant message chat? <br /><br />And if the relationship has potential, how do you sell that as an upside? "If you marry me, you can make faces when I’m driving and I’ll never know." Or, "I promise to only see half of any mistakes you might make." Or maybe, "Hey, just think! Our contact lens budget will be reduced by 25%!"<br /><br />After going through the process you start to think the chances of meeting someone compatible are about the same as marrying the person who pulls up next to you at a red light (which, now that I think about it, might not be a bad idea). People have gotten engaged, married and had their first kid in the time it takes traffic lights in the town I live in to turn green. <br /><br />Yet God is good. I met my wife on an online Christian dating site. We spent about 300 hours in phone conversations before meeting in person. If an average date is three hours, that's 100 dates at Starbuck's doing nothing but sitting at a table and talking. I don't know many couples who have done that. It's the work we put into it that makes it successful. I am blessed. She's fabulous in every way. <br /><br />Whether dating in person or online, do your homework. Or as the carpenters say, "Measure twice, cut once." <br /><br />Blessings to you- <br /><br />Todd
Staff
2013-09-30T18:29:00Z
Making Positive Statements
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Positive-Statements/-791360580294518679.html
2013-09-30T18:25:00Z
2013-09-30T18:25:00Z
<p> </p>
Dr. Laura- <br /><br />The other day a step-mother called concerned her older son was constantly barraging the younger with negative, critical remarks. A friend of mine used to make her girls overcome every negative statement by immediately making 3 positive ones. This makes a person mindful and aware of what they are doing and hopefully break a bad habit sooner rather than later. <br /><br />An apology might well be added, if the critical remark is directed at a person.<br /><br />All negativity should be confronted with each family member for a more pleasant atmosphere.<br /><br />Blessings, <br /><br />Cindy
Staff
2013-09-30T18:25:00Z
StutteringKingBakery.com
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/StutteringKingBakery.com/889272297812030862.html
2013-09-27T17:01:00Z
2013-09-27T17:01:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Wow, guess whose phone is ringing and whose email has lit up!! What a surprise. Since we listen to the podcast on Dr. Laura Family online, we didn't know you spoke about StutterKingBakery.com <a href="http://stutteringkingbakery.com/" target="_blank">http://stutteringkingbakery.com/ </a>and our high-functioning autistic son, Matt. You were so elegant. I can't wait for Matt to hear it. He is painting now, his other passion, and then back to baking. In fact, our first mail order to Calif. from Cindy, a Dr. Laura listener, has ordered two gift baskets. Matt is doing SO well. Still a young start-up, his business is starting to take off. He has real grit! I love grit. He works hard and wants no handouts. He listens to your show regularly while he bakes and you ALWAYS make sense to him!!</p>
<p>Thanks again,</p>
<p>Peg</p>
Staff
2013-09-27T17:01:00Z
Damsels in Distress
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Damsels-in-Distress/685291141872885613.html
2013-09-27T16:58:00Z
2013-09-27T16:58:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My husband and I have a fabulous marriage and four good sons--our youngest is 19. When he was home this summer after his freshman year in college, he told me about a troubled young lady he cared about and tried to rescue. I quoted you, of course, and said that when he rescues a damsel in distress, all he will ever get is a distressed damsel! At this age, a mother can only HOPE some of what she says sinks in....well THIS did! Our son just wrote a song about leaving this girl and even used your quote--here are some of the lyrics--thought it would make your day, as it did mine!</p>
<p>Thinking of you--so grateful YOU have helped us raise four boys into REAL men, while still being a boyfriend/girlfriend to each other.</p>
<p>Ever-listening on the podcast--with warmest regards,</p>
<p>Nancy</p>
<p>Our kids' mom and my husband's girlfriend,</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>THE LAST GOODBYE</strong></p>
<p>by Andrew</p>
<p>I said goodbye for the last time</p>
<p>But you would never let me be</p>
<p>You held on to me</p>
<p>Like a child to my knee</p>
<p>Begging please don't leave me with nothing</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I tried the best that I could</p>
<p>Yet you'd never turn yourself away</p>
<p>From your old past</p>
<p>Yet I knew it'd never last</p>
<p>So I'm done. I'm giving up trying</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Our time is over</p>
<p>It's fallen apart</p>
<p>You think what's best for me</p>
<p>Is breaking my heart?</p>
<p>I've gotten over you</p>
<p>And I'll never lie</p>
<p>For when I tell you</p>
<p>It's the last goodbye</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I gave you all my life</p>
<p>You were my entire world</p>
<p>Diamonds and pearls</p>
<p>And Flowers for my girl</p>
<p>Turned to dust and left me with nothing</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So let this be a lesson for you</p>
<p>Don't rescue damsels in distress</p>
<p>Cause if you do</p>
<p>What's in store for you</p>
<p>Is just a distressed damsel</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Our time is over</p>
<p>It's fallen apart</p>
<p>You think what's best for me</p>
<p>Is breaking my heart?</p>
<p>I've gotten over you</p>
<p>And I'll never lie</p>
<p>For when I tell you</p>
<p>It's the last goodbye</p>
Staff
2013-09-27T16:58:00Z
How Parents Make a Child of Divorce Feel
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Parents-Make-a-Child-of-Divorce-Feel/-67274636842739031.html
2013-09-26T18:10:00Z
2013-09-26T18:10:00Z
<p> </p>
Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I love your show! I wrote the letter below because I have been supervising visitation for a family that is in turmoil over a custody battle. I am from a family of divorce so I know how bad things can be. Your show touches so many lives that I wanted to share my words in hope in might make a difference in the life of a child. <br /><br />Thank you, <br /><br />Karen <br /><br /> <br /><br />Dear Mom and Dad, <br /><br />I can’t talk to you about this, so I decided to write a letter to you both. In case you both have forgotten, I’m a little kid. I should not have to worry about grown up stuff now, because I know that when I’m big, I will be doing that all the time. <br /><br />You both have decided not to be married anymore that was your decision, NOT MINE. Since I now have two homes my life is worse than when you both lived together. I thought that once you were apart the fighting would just stop but it has gotten worse. You have always taught me that God wanted me to forgive and love one another and I don’t understand why you can’t. I guess that is just a rule for little kids and not grownups. <br /><br />Mom and Dad, I need you both to know that when you talk bad about each other to me it hurts my heart. When God created me, he made me half of each of you. When you criticize each other, realize you are also criticizing me. <br /><br />The hardest thing for me is going for visits. When I get back from Mom or Dad’s house you both start asking me questions. You each want to find fault with the visits. If I act like I had a great time, you make me feel guilty, like I did something wrong. <br /><br />You might not realize, but I can sense when you are unhappy or mad. Sometimes I even feel that you get mad at me when I show affection or love to my other parent. I want to love you both with all my heart. In church we talked about the 2 ladies who were fighting over a baby. They went to a judge to decide who was going to get to keep the baby. The judge said cut the child in half and they would each get a part. The real mommy said “NO” let the other lady have the child. The good lady did not want the baby to die and would rather give it to the mean lady. The good lady was the baby’s mommy. I was thinking about that story and wondered what you would do. You both make me feel like I’m in the middle with you both having a hold of my arms and pulling me apart. Mom and Dad are you going to cut me in two? I promise my hearts big enough for both of you. I love you both the same and always will. Please, Please, Please don’t make me choose between you. Don’t cut me in half because then I can’t grow into a whole person. I will always have something missing if I can’t love you both. You have always taught me to forgive and do what God wants me to do. I’m asking you today, forgive each other and let me be a kid that does not have to worry all the time. <br /><br />I love you both, <br /><br />Your Son or Daughter
Staff
2013-09-26T18:10:00Z
Our 32nd Anniversary
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-32nd-Anniversary/795657878739821973.html
2013-09-26T18:00:00Z
2013-09-26T18:00:00Z
<p> </p>
Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Last Wednesday, my wife, Sugar Bear, and I celebrated our 32nd anniversary. <br /><br />I would like to tell you our marriage has been an easy road - it hasn't. I would like to tell you it's been trouble free - it's hasn't, but after traveling over half my life with this wonderful person I can truly say I love my "Sugar Bear" more every day. She has been a wonderful wife; mother to our three, married, successful children, and a great lover and provider to me. <br /><br />We struggled early in our marriage so she could be a stay-at-home mom. She was always the room mother, the field trip chaperone, and we always had the house where all the neighborhood kids came to play. And we were glad that was the way it was. <br /><br />Once our children were all grown up, she went back to work outside the home and now has a very successful career. <br /><br />My life has been a true blessing and I thank God every day for My Wonderful Wife and My Family. I just hope I am blessed to have 32 more years with her. <br /><br />So Dr. Laura, an anniversary shout out to my wonderful wife, my Sugar Bear. <br /><br />Thanks for the memories, and I love you so very much, <br /><br />David<br />
Staff
2013-09-26T18:00:00Z
Maintaining Balance Can Be Tricky
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Maintaining-Balance-Can-Be-Tricky/-774650358032900832.html
2013-09-25T20:11:00Z
2013-09-25T20:11:00Z
<p> </p>
What has changed since deciding to work from home? Well, it allows me to bring in income and still be my kids mom! I don't miss a thing at school or at home or any other event! It allows us to choose a fabulous private school that partners up with us as a family. It allows us more play time, vacations, travel, time with family in other areas of the country. This business allows us to have college waiting for them, paid for, as they near that age. And it allows us to give to charities, and others that we are passionate about. <br /><br />Now, maintaining that balance can be tricky! But it is possible. I always put the family first in time balance. I purposely schedule actual business hours that do not conflict with family time and I make sure the whole family feels a part of my business. Of course, they all benefit, but they also realize Mom is working for the good of us all!<br /><br />My kids are 10 and 12 so school hours are ideal though I am up at the school often just because I can be, and the kids love that! With younger children, it could be more challenging, but I feel the key is realistic time-management with flexibility, or course. There are times when I have felt unbalanced, and I have to remind myself that the family is what I am here for, what I am working for, first and foremost. If the business isn't ADDING a positive element to it, then it's not what I am supposed to be doing at that moment. That helps with time conflicts and choices about that time being spent as well. <br /><br />Thank you again, Dr Laura, for enhancing our lives daily!<br /><br />Dawn <br />
Staff
2013-09-25T20:11:00Z
Secret to a Long Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Secret-to-a-Long-Marriage/-916354642087142532.html
2013-09-25T20:02:00Z
2013-09-25T20:02:00Z
<p> </p>
I was at an antique store last week and I overheard an elderly lady talking to the woman at the cash register about the fact that she and her husband were buying an object in celebration of their 47 years of marriage. It was a wooden Irish spoon that hangs on the wall. <br /><br />The owner of the store said, "Oh my! This is so precious!" I heard a lot of "Ooohs" and "Aaaaah! Thats so sweet." Then I heard the lady ask the couple "What is the secret to your marriage?" The older lady said, without even a thought, "I have kept his stomach full and his balls empty!" I was absolutely shocked and then it hit me - "Damn, she's right!" It sounded like something you would say. <br /><br />Love ya and thank you for what you do.<br /><br />Elizabeth <br />
Staff
2013-09-25T20:02:00Z
Happy to Hear What Was Playing on Her Radio!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Happy-to-Hear-What-Was-Playing-on-Her-Radio!/501856561446943475.html
2013-09-24T16:08:00Z
2013-09-24T16:08:00Z
<p> </p>
Years ago when my girls were growing up, we would always listen to your radio program much to their chagrin while in the car. We were a military family and moved a lot and had lots of time to listen while traveling and then whenever we were in the car. They would fuss as that is what we always wanted to listen to and they wanted music. <br /><br />One day my younger daughter, only about a first grader I think, was in her bedroom with the door shut. I walked past and what did I hear inside?! Dr. Laura on her radio! She wasn't very happy I heard it, but I was! For a few years when I would tuck her in we would pretend she was Dr. Laura and I was some crazy mother you had to straighten out! We would laugh and laugh. <br /><br />I wanted to tell you this as it has been a heartwarming memory for me. My daughter is in her late 20's now and guess what?! She got a master's degree in Psychology! She is in-between jobs now but Lord willing will be working soon. Thanks for your good advice throughout the years!<br /><br />Dana
Staff
2013-09-24T16:08:00Z
Thoughts on Promiscuity
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thoughts-on-Promiscuity/-9610506637352810.html
2013-09-24T16:04:00Z
2013-09-24T16:04:00Z
<p>Recently, Dr. Laura asked you, "Do you think men and women are promiscuous for different reasons? Why or why not? ?" Here are a few of the responses:<strong><br /></strong></p>
<p><strong><br /></strong></p>
<p><strong>Pat</strong>: In observing both sexes and listening to conversations each has about sex, I believe they are promiscuous for different reasons. Both are looking for something they haven't found I believe. Women tend to chase after men to feel attractive and wanted. She is led by emotions other than sex but that also is part of it but not the main part. She is looking for something missing in her own life. Men seem to be looking for challenges, it is a game such as hunting or fishing, something they can talk about when they converse with other men. The main emotion they seem to feel the most is sexual and the reason for the fun and games. There doesn't seem to be the same amount of guilt men feel as compared to women.</p>
<br /><br /><strong>Jim</strong>: Perhaps promiscuous people are promiscuous because they like and or need sex and the typical wife makes it as difficult as possible to get any. And if you do get any, they don't want you to like it too much. You know what's great about a good prostitute? Not only are they willing, but they make an honest effort to do a good job.<br /><br /><br /><strong>Marlowe</strong>: I think women do it simply because lack of self esteem - and to get attention - some think that the guy actually will LOVE them if they are easy. Others have been damaged since childhood - with sexual abuse. Men are a bit more programmed to just go ahead and get instant pleasure and if there is someone willing then they are not so much apt to consider why or who or consequences. Men too who have been sexually abused sometimes turn to promiscuity.<br /><br /><br /><strong>Andre</strong>: I read some writings by Confucius. I know it's a diferrent culture and they had many wives 2000 years ago, however it's an interesting viewpoint: <br /><br /><em>Woman asks:</em><br /><em>If I sleep with 3 men, everyone calls me a slut. But when a man sleeps with 8 girls,</em><br /><em>everyone calls him a real man. How come?</em><br /><br /><em>Man replies:</em><br /><em>It's very simple. Confucius says 'When one lock can be opened by 3 different keys, it's a bad lock. But when one key can open 8 different locks, we call it a master key!</em>
Staff
2013-09-24T16:04:00Z
Does Dr. Laura know what MEN want? (Apparently so...)
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Does-Dr.-Laura-know-what-MEN-want-Apparently-so.../148715794883672189.html
2013-09-23T17:37:00Z
2013-09-23T17:37:00Z
<p> </p>
Saw this article in the Deseret News this morning, it put a huge smile on my face. Enjoy!<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Reid<br /><br /><br />
<blockquote><strong>Does Dr. Laura know what MEN want? (Apparently so…)</strong>
<p>This week my article “Does Dr. Laura know what women want?” was published. In it, I discuss a caller who vented his feelings to Dr. Laura about his wife who he thought had “let herself go.”</p>
<p>I was disgusted and annoyed that he would put that kind of pressure on his wife to look perfect, and exaggerated my point.</p>
<p>I have a confession to make:</p>
<p>I hadn’t yet finished the book.</p>
<p>After submitting the column and feeling witty, I went back to the book for a quick “crunch time” speed-read to finish before book club next week.</p>
<p>The more I read, the more I began to realize the point Dr. Laura was trying to make. One sentence in particular shot out at me like a firework in the sky:</p>
<p>“No, I probably will not be writing about the care and feeding of wives”-gulp!-“Why? Because the truth is that when it comes to home and relationships, women rule. This is a book about how to rule wisely and lovingly.”</p>
<p>I was floored. First off, <em>How did Dr. Laura know EXACTLY what I was thinking?! </em>Second, I had never thought of my relationship with my husband as one of us women having more “power.” But the more I pondered this idea, the more sense it made: in that we woman actually do have the “power” to SET THE MOOD of the relationship. You know that quote, “Happy wife, happy life”? It’s true. If we are positively reinforcing, kind, thoughtful, warm, giving, nurturing, all those “feminine” things that are already innate in us women, our men will slay dragons and climb any mountain. Men grow up wanting and needing the love and nurture of their mothers, and spend the rest of their lives wanting and needing that from their wives.</p>
<p>Case in point: last weekend I was up in Logan speaking to a group of girls for Deseret Book’s “Time Out for Girls.” It was a tough first night, and as I walked into my little hotel room close to midnight with a cranky baby and a heavily-weighted stroller, the thought of waking in a few short hours and doing it all over again was almost too overwhelming.</p>
<p>I called my husband and expressed my feelings and concerns. He was reassuring, as usual, and told me he loved me and to get some rest.</p>
<p>The next evening after a much more successful-if still a little stressful-yet most fulfilling day, I came home to the most amazing of surprises, the ultimate “I love you, I want you to be happy” gift in my eyes:</p>
<p>A completely, perfectly, spotless home.</p>
<p>My husband had not only deep-cleaned, vacuumed, picked-up, and polished our house, but he tackled the most dreadful of tasks: cleaning out the closet. He organized, arranged, stacked and DI-ed that sucker to a “T”. The sweaters were stacked. The skirts were hung. The socks were sorted. No more flinging pants up on a shelf and quickly covering your head in case of a bad aim-nope, they were department-store displayed, all facing the same direction in little, neat piles.</p>
<p>People, even the underneaths were folded.</p>
I tell you what, every worry, doubt, stress, fear and frustration flew right out the window. I even took a picture of me staring at the shelves with a look of pure ecstasy.</blockquote>
<br />Read the entire article here: <a href="http://carmensvoice.blogs.deseretnews.com/2013/09/18/does-dr-laura-know-what-men-want-apparently-so/" target="_blank">Does Dr. Laura know what MEN want? (Apparently so…)</a>
Staff
2013-09-23T17:37:00Z
Alcoholism is NOT a disease
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Alcoholism-is-NOT-a-disease/-409138464078981295.html
2013-09-23T17:33:00Z
2013-09-23T17:33:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I appreciate your reminding the audience that alcoholism is NOT a disease. I am 25 years sober at 51 years old . The "disease" concept does nothing but keep alcoholics in "victim" mode for years . As you may know it was clever little loop hole of some sort re: the AMA that deemed alcoholism a disease for medical insurance purposes. And while I do not attend AA anymore, the BIG BOOK of AA, their bible, does NOT say ANYWHERE that alcoholism is a disease . The Big Book refers to alcoholism as an "illness". <br /><br />I have chosen not to drink for the past 25 years and yes "G-d helps those who help themselves". I would have been in the ground or behind bars by now. Jails, hospitals and institutions are all part of my story and despite all that I do not consider myself to have an uncontrollable disease. My beautiful life today as a wife and full-time mom (aka stay-at-home mom) are proof.<br /><br />Thank you for your insight . It is very much appreciated by me.<br /><br />Cyndi</p>
Staff
2013-09-23T17:33:00Z
Poem: The Right to Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Poem:-The-Right-to-Life/145396197587417763.html
2013-09-20T18:00:00Z
2013-09-20T18:00:00Z
<p><br />I share your views on protecting children and know you will be moved by reading this. My 17-year-old niece, Angela, had an extra credit assignment for her history class regarding the Constitution. Writing comes so naturally and easy to Angela; she went up to her room and within a 1/2 hour wrote this. With her permission, Angela let me email you what she wrote. - Jo Ann</p>
<p><br /><strong>The Right to Life</strong></p>
<p>I am smaller than your fingernail<br />But I'm filling your mind<br />You're not ready to leave your past behind</p>
<p>You're nervous, I can tell<br />Because your heart races above me<br />And now your mind begins to yell</p>
<p>How could this happen?<br />You punish yourself<br />"God must no longer want me, he'll send me to hell"</p>
<p>I wish I could scream out<br />And just make you hear<br />That God has a reason for putting me here</p>
<p>If you'll give me a chance<br />I'll make you proud, I swear<br />In another few weeks I'll begin to grow hair</p>
<p>What about other babies that you never knew?<br />Maybe you'd be amazed<br />By what they could do</p>
<p>They could've cured cancer<br />Or been your best friend<br />Why did you get to choose when their life was to end?</p>
<p>They could've been president<br />Or perhaps, just maybe<br />They would've made a law to save babies just like me</p>
<p>"Don't worry honey" says an unfamiliar lady<br />"No reason to stress,<br />It's barely a baby"</p>
<p>But I have a life, and it's mine<br />Since when is a life <br />So determined by time?</p>
<p>I developed a heartbeat<br />I'm considered alive<br />Are you still willing to take away this life of mine?</p>
<p>You're fighting for the right to privacy<br />But, see, you have a voice<br />So who's speaking for me?</p>
<p>You're a woman with rights<br />No one can take that away<br />But yet I'm so small, why don't I get a say?</p>
<p>Everyone has equal rights<br />So what I don't understand<br />Why is my right to life in another man's hands?</p>
<p>The weeks drag on, and I continually fear<br />That you'll no longer want me<br />And I'll be taken out of here</p>
<p>Now something feels strange<br />Like I'm being grabbed out<br />I'm positive this is it, absolutely no doubt</p>
<p>A light appears, and I'm full of fright<br />But "Congratulations!" they scream<br />As I breathe my first breath of life</p>
<p>So yes, I am tiny<br />And yet I have been saved<br />Because somebody loved me</p>
Staff
2013-09-20T18:00:00Z
Fictional Characters Can Be 'Real' Men Too
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fictional-Characters-Can-Be-Real-Men-Too/824678004118068540.html
2013-09-20T16:11:00Z
2013-09-20T16:11:00Z
<br />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am new to your radio show and have been listening on my way to work for the past 3-4 months. I have heard a lot about being a "man".</p>
<p>My home office is the kitchen. I cook, do my computer business, hang out with my 5 rescue dogs and watch TV in here. I quite often have the TV on as background noise and typically pick things that I've seen before or that I don't really have to pay too much attention to while I go about business. About once a year I pop in one of very favorite series "Little House on the Prairie". My daughter named our three female dogs Laura, Carrie and Grace after three of the girls in this show. My two male dogs are Baryshnikov with the obvious name sake and Eddie after Eddie Van Halen. Anyway, I just started up my annual watching of this show and I thought of you. I was thinking that Charles Ingalls is a REAL Man who does what it takes to take care of his family in good times and very bad times. He stands up for his family, friends and justice. He makes mistakes, but he is what I envision as your definition of a "man".</p>
<p>I just wanted to share that with you. I'll bet your pups are beautiful! They are one the most important parts of my and my family's lives. Laura, my oldest, is a Blue Heeler/Chow mix and is the leader of her pack....and the whole house for that matter.</p>
<p>Take care!</p>
<p>Julie</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2013-09-20T16:11:00Z
Giving Loyalty and Forgiveness to the Wrong People
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Giving-Loyalty-and-Forgiveness-to-the-Wrong-People/733183928816453721.html
2013-09-19T17:06:00Z
2013-09-19T17:06:00Z
<br />
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Thank you for the excellent advice you recently gave me. You helped me see that my "allowances" to my brother over the years were totally out of line, and I was blaming my sister-in-law, when the real problem was with my brother. If my dad were alive today, I believe he would have given me the same advice you gave me.</p>
<p>I loved my dad dearly, and when he passed away I thought the best way to honor him was to take over where he left off, taking care of my abusive mom, my brother and keeping peace no matter what the cost. He died when I was 21, so I had an immature interpretation of what he would want for me. I thought I was doing something noble, but I was just encouraging my brother to be a weaker man by making it "OK" for him not to take a stand with his wife. You pointed out a tough reality, that my "allowances" didn't do anyone any favors, and I was carrying the torch of messed up behavior to another generation.</p>
<p>My dad was a great father and a great man. He taught me about loyalty, but he only lived long enough to teach that lesson halfway. Loyalty and forgiveness are great qualities, but they can make you a fool if you give them away to the wrong people. I'm finally starting to get it. Your show and your books <em>Bad Childhood-Good Life</em> and <em>How To Survive A Shark Attack On Land</em> have been very helpful in making me stronger and wiser when it comes to forgiveness and picking the right people to be loyal to. It's kind of sick the way most of the world complimented me for tolerating what shouldn't have been tolerated and standing by people who belonged on the curb. After three years of hoping against hope that I'd hear from my brother and we could work things out, it took every ounce of self-discipline not to come to his rescue when he contacted me for emotional support when his wife had a stroke. Everyone else told me I should call him, and you're the only one who gave me the advice that was in my best interest. THANK YOU. I am following it. I didn't use your exact words, "pound sand" - but I got the point across.</p>
<p>It's hard to take a 180, but I'm tough and I know I can do it. It's been three years since I talked to my mom, my brother, and some lousy friends. I can change my behavior, but it takes a while for my heart to get the memo. I'm determined to make the second half of my life much better than the first. It's a fight, even though I know these people are bad for me, it's hard living with the void until I meet people who deserve that space in my life. I'm planting seeds, and meeting great people, and slowly things are starting to come together. As hard as it is, I know the pain of being away from the jerks has an expiration date...but the pain of having them in my life is permanent.</p>
<p>Thanks for helping me stay strong,</p>
<p>Julia</p>
Staff
2013-09-19T17:06:00Z
After a Job Loss
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/After-a-Job-Loss/699565367764590350.html
2013-09-19T17:02:00Z
2013-09-19T17:02:00Z
<br />
<p>Hi Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I'm in my late 50's and was reorganized along with 299 others from a large Fortune 500 company that I had been with for 12 years. It seems that older employees are among the first to be let go as their salaries are commonly higher and their insurance premiums are higher as well. Of course, in order to receive the severance package you must sign the "will not sue" document. It is the first time being without a job for me since completing college. I inherently knew, however, that with my skill set I would be working again within 3 months, tops!</p>
<p>That was 6 months ago. I have been networking and using the job sites to respond to opportunities as they come up. I have sent 170 resumes in this time frame and may have had 9-10 interviews. Only now, within the last two weeks, I have been offered two high quality positions. I have accepted one and will begin Sept 30.</p>
<p>The most positive thing I did to find my job, STAY POSITIVE AND FOCUSED on working to find that job: network and work diligently daily in scouring the job boards. It will come.</p>
<p>Regards,</p>
<p>Fred</p>
<p>A loyal member of your fan club</p>
<br />
Staff
2013-09-19T17:02:00Z
10 Tips on Saving Money
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/10-Tips-on-Saving-Money/97150998269300050.html
2013-09-18T18:35:00Z
2013-09-18T18:35:00Z
<br />How to save money ANYTIME not just in a tough economy. This is an easy one for me. Just ask my wife and kids... <br /><br />1. NEVER carry a credit card balance. <br /><br />2. Separate WANTS from NEEDS. <br /><br />3. Question all spending in terms of 2. I'm not against spending money on wants, it's just that I'd rather save it up for that "big want". If I satisfy every small want then I'll never be able to do the former. <br /><br />4. Expensive smart phones and outrageous monthly costs are absurd. Get a Tracfone. I did. It works great. I can email and so forth at home on my personal computer. <br /><br />5. Most people buy 2-3 times as much car as they really need. The price you paid for your car does not reflect on whether or not you are a quality person. <br /><br />6. Buy a fuel efficient car. There are some very nice-to-drive but also efficient models available. <br /><br />7. If your employer offers a 401K match make SURE you at least contribute enough to maximize what your employer will give you. THAT'S FREE MONEY! <br /><br />8. A fairly basic cable or dish TV plan is all you need, if that. Depending where you live the new digital free broadcast signals give great reception. The picture is either perfect or non-existent. Most watch too much TV anyway. Instead, be selective and treat yourself to a good movie or quality TV series via iTunes or Netflix. <br /><br />9. Stay at home to watch movies instead of paying $big bucks$ at the theater. Yes you'll have to wait a few months before it's available for home viewing but guess what: IT'S THE SAME MOVIE. <br /><br />10. There's a lot more, but one has to come to the realization that the best things in life, such as bike rides with the kids, walks with the dog, etc. really are free and non-fattening. <br /><br />Doug<br />
Staff
2013-09-18T18:35:00Z
The Perfect Pregnancy Workout
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Perfect-Pregnancy-Workout/-830012371510774453.html
2013-09-18T18:30:00Z
2013-09-18T18:30:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I was listening to a podcast and the caller had called you previously about her fertility struggles. You had advised her to try IVF (I was thrilled to hear that), but during a month hiatus from following your advice, ironically, she is now pregnant. For the record, your advice clearly helped; she was obviously more relaxed! Ha! <br /><br />Anyway, as you were discussing pregnancy-friendly exercises, I felt compelled to write you for the first time. During my last pregnancy, I began doing water-aerobics. Oh, how I wish I would have known about this during my first three pregnancies! All the weight is taken off your frame for one glorious hour. You are able to move into positions simply not possible on land while pregnant. You work all your muscles, get in some cardio, and best of all... you stretch everything. I was more in shape, more flexible, and more peaceful at the end of this pregnancy than I was usually by the end of the second trimester. As an added bonus, unless you live in a town large enough to offer pregnancy-specific water aerobics, you are likely to be in the pool with the 50-80 year old crowd. You won't find a sweeter, more accepting bunch of ladies in one exercise class the rest of your life! They are more interested in your pregnancy and young stage of life than you are. They've been there, done that, and have amazing advice. <br /><br />I loved them and the health benefits of the exercise so much, that when the local instructor quit, I took over. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Jennie<br />
Staff
2013-09-18T18:30:00Z
My Husband, My Fantasy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husband,-My-Fantasy/-295419290395580308.html
2013-09-17T18:58:00Z
2013-09-17T18:58:00Z
<br />I am currently in my first trimester of my very first pregnancy. My husband and I could not be more thrilled about having a child together, but unfortunately excitement doesn't make morning sickness any easier. I married a wonderful man who has treated me like a queen from day one, but over the last month I've just been so overwhelmed at the way he has stepped up while I've been so sick and tired. <br /><br />A fantasy man may have big muscles, but my real man (skinny as he may be can be) supports me as I slowly make my way from the bed to the toilet. A fantasy may have a lot more hair than my husband does, but my real man holds mine back and rubs my shoulders as I chuck up my lunch. A fantasy may spend his day doing manly things like working on cars and going to the gym, but my real man is content to wash the dishes and sweep each night because I'm just too tired to do more than make dinner. A fantasy man is nice to look at and nice to touch, but he probably won't clean the toilets for you or throw away the moldy food in the fridge. I am so grateful for my real man. I don't need a fantasy because I am just so happy here in real life. <br /><br />Okay, I do fantasize about being able to eat again without throwing up. And I can't wait until this baby comes and I can quit my job and devote all of my time to my child and my husband, who will deserve a lot of doting after this pregnancy is over. <br /><br />Bekky<br />
Staff
2013-09-17T18:58:00Z
My Grandparents' Nudging, Structure and Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Grandparents-Nudging,-Structure-and-Love/194508271284189049.html
2013-09-17T18:55:00Z
2013-09-17T18:55:00Z
<br />My Grandparents are my true parents. When I was little I used to run away to my grandpas' houses. When things get stressful, I still go to Grandpa's house (I only have one grandpa left). It amazes me that my mother came from him, she is the most selfish, money hungry person. I also have a sperm donor as a father who left my brother and I for another woman and family. <br /><br />My grandparents on both sides made the decision that they wouldn't speak ill of either parent. From my earliest days, I can remember tea parties with one grandma to digging in the dirt with spoons from the kitchen with the other; from working on cars with one grandpa to playing office with the other. They taught me about life. They always had time to chat. They made sure my grades were good, even going with me class because I thought literature was boring. The teacher wanted Grandpa to come back every day because all the students were on their best behavior. <br /><br />I used to think my grandfathers were like mafia men. They were/are quiet men never really having much to say, but when they did, you better listen. <br /><br />They taught me what I could accomplish with hard work, dedication, and doing the right thing always, even when it was easier to look the other way. My grandfathers taught me what to expect when looking for a mate, how women are supposed to be treated, and to never settle for anything less than that. <br /><br />Without my grandparents nudging, structure and love, who knows how I would turn out. <br /><br />Juanita<br />
Staff
2013-09-17T18:55:00Z
Long-term Shacking Up Ain't No Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Long-term-Shacking-Up-Aint-No-Marriage/372716721054873385.html
2013-09-16T17:57:00Z
2013-09-16T17:57:00Z
<br />Hello Dr Laura, <br /><br />I implore you to continue reminding all of your listeners to uphold marriage as a sacred commitment and shun shacking up situations. <br /><br />A bit of background: I'm 42 and my fiancé is 47 - neither of us has been married previously. I have one daughter in post-secondary education and my fiancé has no children. I was very stupid and young and shacked up for 2 years. I remained single after my daughter's bio-dad split for greener pastures. Now after many years of raising my daughter alone and 2 years of dating, my fiancé and I are excited to marry next year. We cannot wait to exchange vows and become husband and wife. <br /><br />The topic of marriage arose while my sister was visiting last night. She has never been married and has no children, however, is currently shacking up for 17 years with a guy who had a nasty divorce, an awful time having access to his 2 kids and is adamant that he would never marry again. In my sister's eyes, their relationship ain't broke so don't fix it. I pointed out to her that marriage is a commitment of loving, nurturing and honoring your spouse and your vows for the rest of your life. <br /><br />The conversation quickly escalated into a ferocious argument of feminist diatribe, proclaiming that she and her shack-up guy exchanged vows in private to each other. Shockingly enough she went so far as to say that their living together was as equal and committed as my fiancé's parents' marriage of 50 years. The only difference between the relationships was the length of time and the piece of paper. <br /><br />Even more ridiculous if that's possible, my sister and her stud have been wearing gold bands the past few years, giving the appearance of marriage to anyone they encounter. I told her I was disgusted that they put on a show of commitment when they clearly think it's a joke. Her only response was that she didn't care whatsoever what people thought. Our own parents were married for many years before our dad passed away so I just don't get that feminist attitude at all. <br /><br />So now I sit here and plan my wedding. I at least know there will be 2 less people to share in our special day. It saddens me because I've waited a long, long time for the right man to marry and wouldn't settle for less now, even if I did once before. I cannot imagine spending my life without my fiancé and we will honor our vows and each other every single day. <br /><br />I'm so sick of people like my sister and her shack-up who want the world to view them as married, but sneer at exchanging vows of love and fidelity and honor. To equate that with a loving marriage that is still going strong after a half century makes me want to vomit in my morning coffee. What an insult to those who lovingly nurture their true commitment of marriage. <br /><br />Keep up the awesome work!! <br /><br />Lynn<br />
Staff
2013-09-16T17:57:00Z
Helping Your Spouse Through a Loss
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Helping-Your-Spouse-Through-a-Loss/299927403556123736.html
2013-09-16T17:55:00Z
2013-09-16T17:55:00Z
<br />Six years ago, when we were just 38 and married 13 years, my husband and I went through a grueling three months when we had five tragedies in our family. Two of those tragedies were that each of us lost a parent - he lost his father to suicide, and I lost my mother to a stroke. Needless to say, both incidences were completely unexpected and sudden. The situation with my father-in-law was made a bit more complex by the fact that I was not a fan of his - and most people weren't. I felt like any grief I displayed was hypocritical, but I grieved for my husband's loss. He was understandably devastated. To support him, I mostly gave him the space he needed, but made sure I was available when he wanted to talk. I made all the arrangements, communicated with family members, helped with logistics, and basically took everything I could off of his plate. For men, I think it's about letting them come to you when they're ready and otherwise just trying to clear their path. <br /><br />When I lost my mother, I felt guilty, like I was somehow cheating him out of his mourning period, but he never once made me feel like that was the case. He was amazingly supportive even though he was still grieving, and he did for me what I did for him - he listened when I wanted to talk, left me alone when I didn't, and took care of the daily minutiae. <br /><br />I'm not sure what else either of us could have done for the other in those situations. I CAN tell you that our already solid marriage was made so much stronger and that getting each other through our respective losses gave us an indescribable bond that can never be broken. It just put our relationship on a different level. I think the key is knowing what your partner needs in that situation. And in any situation really and being there when they need you. It’s that simple; not easy, but simple. <br /><br />Michelle<br />
Staff
2013-09-16T17:55:00Z
Women: Save Your Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Women:-Save-Your-Marriage/-220965058815257432.html
2013-09-13T17:55:00Z
2013-09-13T17:55:00Z
<br />Dear Dr Laura, <br /><br />I just read a blog from a Catholic woman who was sharing her "discovery" with other women who were very unhappy in their marriages. She too had been very unhappy in hers until she stumbled upon your book, <em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>. - Tabbatha <br /><br />Below is an excerpt: <br /><br /><strong>Women: Save Your Marriage. In Five Minutes. </strong><br /><br />This is going to sound like a cheesy testimonial, but stay with me. <br /><br />Ladies, if you have been struggling in your relationship with your husband (and sooo many women do), I know a way that you can begin to change -- even save -- your marriage. In five minutes.<br /><br />Trust me on this. I've seen it happen first hand. <br /><br />…Let me be clear: Divorce was never, ever an option for my husband and me, nor was it even in our lexicon. But there was a time in our marriage when tensions were high, feelings of affection were low, and things had generally broken down. Communication was terrible, and we had ceased assuming the good intent of the other. For my part, I had lost respect for my husband, whom I felt was not "a real man" (gosh, it's hard to type those words!). I almost disdained him, and I nagged, nitpicked, and criticized my way through most of our days. <br /><br />Then one day about ten years ago, something happened that was the equivalent of getting a 2x4 smashed over my head. It was nothing outwardly dramatic, but in this event I recognized in one instant that I had created in my husband all the things that I in turn despised. I was immediately ashamed of what I had done to this man who had married me and who loved me, and I made a paradigm shift on the spot. Nothing has been the same since the day I had my epiphany, and our marriage is now strong and happy. I love and respect my husband dearly. <br /><br />Read the rest of Women: <strong><a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2013/09/women-save-your-marriages-fast.html" target="_blank">Save Your Marriage. In Five Minutes.</a> </strong> <br />
Staff
2013-09-13T17:55:00Z
Why Men Need Women
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Men-Need-Women/-18456873278533711.html
2013-09-13T17:50:00Z
2013-09-13T17:50:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />While it should not need to be pointed out that men need women and likewise the opposite - We (you and I) have a different understanding of the "old adage" of "Behind every good man there is a good woman." You may understand that to be the old adage, but I have heard different. <br /><br />I have heard "Behind every good man there is a loving and supportive woman; sadly and all too often it is not his wife!" <br /><br />This may by for a future conversation, and I do understand the implications of the other side of this argument, but what happens when a man works all day and week to come home to a house cold of affection, appreciation and love? What happens when a man slays dragons all day long at work - perhaps working side by side with his secretary who sees the late nights and hard work he puts in and...? Or the salesman who is out of town and calls his wife to hear for the umpteenth time about how he is never home then has a dinner appointment with a female client and...? <br /><br />The scenarios are infinite, but while the discussion of "Why men need women" is valuable it might be prudent to examine "Why women need men" with your listeners. <br /><br />Something to think about, <br /><br />Michael<br />
Staff
2013-09-13T17:50:00Z
Loneliness Is a Voluntary Condition
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Loneliness-Is-a-Voluntary-Condition/399567125010642557.html
2013-09-12T18:14:00Z
2013-09-12T18:14:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I thought you might be interested in taking a look at this article about the health risks of loneliness. The article is brief, informative and it has links to scientific research which are also very helpful. In summary, the article states loneliness presents a greater public health risk than obesity AND smoking. <strong><br /><br /><a href="http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/medical_examiner/2013/08/dangers_of_loneliness_social_isolation_is_deadlier_than_obesity.html" target="_blank">Loneliness Is Deadly</a></strong><br /><br />Loneliness is not a condition most people like to own up to because, socially it's synonymous with "pathetic", yet it is a growing problem across all demographics, particularly among seniors. And, as you have pointed out on your show, social networking is doing more to isolate younger generations rather than bring people together. <br /><br />Occasionally, one of your callers admits they are lonely and you always say "loneliness is a voluntary condition". I couldn't agree more. I've been working very hard to put myself out into the community after my divorce. It takes time, persistence and courage to rebuild a quality social network, but it is worth the effort. It's much easier to slip into the comfort zone of solitude, but doing so is hazardous to one's mental and physical health. <br /><br />Your show has done so much to empower me and other listeners with the tools to build a better life. If you're ever searching for an opening topic for your show, perhaps this would be a good one. I can't think of a better qualified person to shed light on the issue and provide the kick in the pants to help people help themselves. <br /><br />Thank you for doing what you do. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Julia<br />
Staff
2013-09-12T18:14:00Z
Raising My Children Alone
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-My-Children-Alone/-847392891456895747.html
2013-09-12T17:56:00Z
2013-09-12T17:56:00Z
<br />I have been a divorced parent for many years. When I tell people this, I often get, "Oh you should go out and meet someone", or "I know someone you would really be great for you". When I tell people I choose to be a divorced parent they are really taken aback by that statement. It is a choice. Is it the best situation? Absolutely not! A two parent household is optimum. However, I left a marriage that was unhealthy and destructive. I was depressed and lonely at first, but in time I realized how much happier my children were. Their father chose not to be a part of their lives and wow did he ever miss everything!! They have struggled and I have worked hard to be both parents. I have a great support system which has seen me through the rough times. <br /><br />I had 4 children. My eldest died in a car accident and it was devastating to us. He was only 19. I have twin daughters who are now 26 and they are both successful, in healthy relationships and have chosen to wait to get married until they are ready to have children and be a mom. My youngest is 17. He is wonderful and will be going to college next year. <br /><br />I chose my children over my "desire' to be involved with a man. This was not an easy choice. I do not date. I do not go out to bars. I do not look for men. I attend all band and school functions to support my son. I cook, clean, shuttle kids to and from events and school. I work full-time and it was hard in the beginning, but I have been creative and fortunate that my hours working matched school hours. It was the best way I could work and care for my children. All of them freely say they love me. They are caring and kind. Even the 17-year-old boy will give me hugs. None of them do drugs, the older ones drink rarely and responsibly. <br /><br />I am happy. Do I want to find someone and grow old with? Yes. Of course I think about that. Am I happy? Absolutely! I am 58 years old and ready to have a relationship, travel and spend time with a mate. I am not sure I look forward to dating, (ugh) but I am not concerned about meeting someone. So who knows? In a year? After my baby's graduation and he is off to college? I may meet a decent man and enjoy the second half of my life. Okay, so I may not live to be 116, but I have no regrets. I did the job I signed up for. I have raised my children to be safe, responsible and productive citizens. The time for me is around the corner and I am happy waiting for it. I wanted to write this so that maybe others will know that parenting means sacrifice, with or without a partner. It was better for me to single parent my children rather than add another person to the dynamics in our life. I have no regrets. I am not some weird ugly woman who can't have a decent relationship. I just chose the path that would best support my children. Every sacrifice was worth every second of the life I have had raising my children.<br /> <br />Thank you, <br /><br />Dawn
Staff
2013-09-12T17:56:00Z
Deployed Military Member Knows Why Men Need Women
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Deployed-Military-Member-Knows-Why-Men-Need-Women/-393054162695369610.html
2013-09-11T17:51:00Z
2013-09-11T17:51:00Z
<br />
<p>Here is an email to my wife. Keep in mind that we’ve been married for over 20 years:</p>
<p>Love, I sent flowers-should be there tomorrow. I love you more each day and figured out why I went on this final TDY - the churches go on mission trips and apparently so do I. I always get excited when I talk to you and have a hard time calming down. I feel so good when I see you even if it's on the computer and when I hear your voice. I feel important and loved, like when I am with the kids, but with you it is a little different since you chose me out of everyone else. You are so wonderful.</p>
<p>I look into your eyes and I still melt. You give me so much strength, but I can be unguarded when I am with you. You also give me more pleasure than I imagined was possible. I can't imagine life without you near me. I always dreamt of someone who loved me almost as much as you, but you love me more than even that. I figure you should hear or read these things from me because you should know how special you are to me. And you are so special to our family. I can tell you more things than ever because you are so easy to talk to and I trust you and I love you. Lots. I am glad you trust me and you deserve someone you can trust you've been through a lot in your life.</p>
<p>I hope I can continue to be the husband you deserve, the boyfriend who still gives you goosebumps, and the father who continues to lead our family. It's not really about you choosing as much as it is about me continuing to earn it through hard work and dedication. You deserve it, my love. And I am glad you chose me. I thank God every day for allowing this. I thank you for allowing me to serve you. I get much joy out of it. That's why I am always doing something around the house for you. It's not about me and should never have been like when we first married it was about me. But I learned. I'm a slow learner sometimes. Of course it's about glorifying God, but it's also about you and our family.</p>
<p>Promise me that when I come home you will spend more time on the step stool reaching for items on the top shelf in the kitchen - you look so hot doing that! And you can count on me being around the corner staring. And yes I'll end up getting it for you, so don't get too mad that I took so long and just stared. I love you and I will continue to show you.</p>
<p>-Your boyfriend, Dave</p>
<p>*** HER RESPONSE ***</p>
<p>Honey, I was tearing up when I was reading your email. You always have a way of expressing how much you love me and I get all mushy and start crying and missing you more. I feel so much love from you and it makes me feel good to know someone could love me that much. It is almost not believable. We have so much in common and we both enjoy the same things, which is amazing. We have our ups and downs and act silly sometimes, but our love grows stronger. We get separated so many times because of deployments but when you come back it seems we just get back to normal again. I love you so much! -Your girlfriend always.</p>
<br />
Staff
2013-09-11T17:51:00Z
Panicking
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Panicking/435002319259253533.html
2013-09-11T17:45:00Z
2013-09-11T17:45:00Z
<br />
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1378930630304_3740" class="yiv944952322MsoNormal">I listened to your opening about anxiety. I used to be very anxious driving over bridges. I had a major panic attack going over one bridge and avoided it afterward choosing another route to connect to the Ohio turnpike. Recently I was visiting Charleston, S.C. and I saw this suspension bridge that I knew I would never be able to drive over. My two kids wanted to go to a beach which, of course, required me to drive over the bridge.</p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1378930630304_3742" class="yiv944952322MsoNormal">I tried to "psych" myself up, but it wasn't working. I found a Youtube video of someone driving over that bridge and imagined that I was the driver traveling along the bridge. I held my hands up as if I was driving and kept saying aloud in a sing song voice, "I'm driving over the bridge, I'm driving over the bridge". I also burst out laughing of how absurd my fear was. All you can see is the pavement while you're driving!</p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1378930630304_3744" class="yiv944952322MsoNormal">I drove my kids to that beach with only slightly sweaty palms. The return trip? No sweat. That video cured me!</p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1378930630304_3745" class="yiv944952322MsoNormal">Pamela</p>
<br />
Staff
2013-09-11T17:45:00Z
Caring First About Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Caring-First-About-Children/377531632905393006.html
2013-09-10T17:30:00Z
2013-09-10T17:30:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />For decades, you’ve led the charge for family unity and marriage in parenthood. Bold and unwavering, day after day, you analyzed and promoted the importance and benefits of children being raised with loving, committed mothers and fathers who support their physical, emotional, intellectual and financial needs as they grow. <br /><br />You illustrated for hundreds-of-thousands or more listeners how in-tact families—-in the absence of abuse, of course—-give children the best chance in life and that intentionally and carelessly denying children of their fathers is, in fact, under-serving their essential needs. <br /><br />You spoke up first and most directly, with brilliance and endurance, about how the growing baby-mommy/baby-daddy culture is a destructive, selfish and undermining force to American families, individuals and society at large. You cared more about the children being victimized by the men-are-irrelevant mindset than you did about your own popularity and, more than anyone else in America, you put your money—-as well as your time, heart and wisdom—-where your mouth was. <br /><br />You remained bold, brave and consistent with your message despite the shunning of those who would put political “correctness” before “doing the right thing.” And in doing so, you have positively impacted the lives of countless individuals for generations. <br /><br />Those who jump on the bandwagon now that it’s “safe” to discuss this important issue may garner praise from the fools who had held it as taboo while countless children suffered at the invisible hands of absentee “fathers” and the ill-equipped minds of self-centered “mothers.” But they’re merely followers of leaders like you; they see a new opportunity for increased media ratings, while you actually risked the ratings to speak the truth. <br /><br />You, Dr. Laura, have the genuine and deserved respect, admiration and praise of those of us who know the difference that you have made via the wisdom you have spoken with courage, intelligence and persistent pursuit of educating people about what’s best for the precious children they bring in to this precious world. <br /><br />As other heads may turn to watch the bandwagon newcomers, I acknowledge and thank you for all that you have done to help pave and lead the way on behalf of the healthy development of American children. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br />Nora Firestone <br />Founder, <a href="http://thankingofyou.com" target="_blank">ThankingOfYou.com </a><br />
Staff
2013-09-10T17:30:00Z
A System Cannot Accommodate Everyone
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-System-Cannot-Accommodate-Everyone/-266920023475366500.html
2013-09-10T17:27:00Z
2013-09-10T17:27:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I want to thank you for talking with my 9-year-old daughter, Ellie, and encouraging her in school. She was beaming for the rest of the day! (She particularly liked the part about being the 'Caller of the Decade.') She also told us how much better she felt about our decision to homeschool her, which my husband and I implemented last spring. She's been feeling a little blue, since all her friends went back to public school this week. I believe she knows in her head that homeschool is the best option for her, at this point, but her heart lags a bit behind. (She is only nine!) We found the public school to be a lot of style over substance. For example, they pride themselves on how much of their instruction is done electronically, but I'm not convinced the kids are actually learning anything, especially the fundamentals. There is also an absurd amount of unnecessary politics and drama, between staff, parents, and students, alike. We are happy to sidestep all this, for a few years, at least. <br /><br />You are right, Ellie is special. It's a shame that public school can't grasp that every child is special. Like any bureaucracy, it is bogged down under its own weight. What can one really expect from a system that has to accommodate absolutely everybody? I'm blessed that we are able to guide Ellie at home for the balance of elementary school. It has the added benefit that we can listen to you while we are out and around town, doing errands, hitting the library, or going to her activities. She may just be the youngest card-carrying member of the Dr. Laura fan club!<br /><br />Thank you for your time and care with a little girl who, because she spoke with you, no longer feels that she has a big dilemma.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Mom in Maryland<br /><br />PS - By the way, Ellie forgot to tell you that her father is the president of the local school board! Isn't life ironic?<br />
Staff
2013-09-10T17:27:00Z
Taking Control of Her Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-Control-of-Her-Life/571099655125713966.html
2013-09-09T17:17:00Z
2013-09-09T17:17:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I have listened to you for many years and wanted to tell you that I thought the call you took from the woman who hit her grandfather over the head with the blow-dryer to stop him from molesting her was the best call I have ever heard you take. (<a href="http://fetch.noxsolutions.com/drlaura/audio/calls/2013-09-04_c_Cindy.mp3" target="_self">Listen here</a>.) <br /><br />That woman was amazing. She was strong, confident, witty, and powerful. The call was captivating from beginning to end and listening to the drama unfold was riveting. She was logical in her story and each second she gained more and more power until she finally boiled over and took complete control of her life. She kept adding information that wasn't "oh by the way" but a vital part of her process to overcome the horrible things that happened to her. The way you handled her was masterful of course - it was allowing her to reach the logical conclusions in her life and rage against the demons who had conspired against her. I want this woman for my friend. By the end of the call, I was crying for this woman's victory.<br /><br />I have never experienced the horror of being molested, but this caller portrayed the effects of abuse in a way that was incredible. I am convinced that when she hit the grandfather with the blow-dryer, she saved her life. She took back the power and has continued to take it back until this very day. The next time some weak woman calls who is allowing some scumbag to abuse her child you should send her a copy of this call. That way, she can see the future of her relationship with her daughter.<br /><br />Incidentally, it was an interesting contrast to the woman who broke her wrist and was having a hard time overcoming the fact that her two friends didn't call her. She needed a little piece of the other lady's pie...<br /><br />Thanks for making my afternoons go by so quickly.<br /><br />Jenny Schmitz<br />
Staff
2013-09-09T17:17:00Z
Dyslexia Encouragement
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dyslexia-Encouragement/383933936950366738.html
2013-09-09T17:15:00Z
2013-09-09T17:15:00Z
<br />Thank you for your Labor Day marathon. I made it a point to run an errand just so I could listen while in the car. My new-driver 16-year-old dear daughter was at the wheel when you were talking to a girl and her mother regarding dyslexia. I am so appreciative of what you said to the girl. I have said those exact words to my daughter, as she is dyslexic. (You can add Steven Spielberg to your impressive list of amazing societal contributors who have dyslexia.) <br /><br />When the mother thanked you and said that sometimes things sound better coming from someone other than Mom my daughter burst out laughing and said, "That is so true!" I have told my sweet girl how special she is as she does everything while doing extra gymnastics in her brain. I have offered to home school, but she is determined to continue to progress in her high school. By the way, she is in National Honor Society, takes AP and honors classes, is very creative and very astute and thoughtful. <br /><br />Her older sister has a disability from a head injury but has managed to surpass expectations and is at college with accommodations making dean's list and her little sister has a gifted IEP. Sometimes my middle daughter feels down on herself as she takes a very long time to read and do homework, although generally earns her good grades through homework and projects, but not tests. With all her fancy brainwork she prevails even though the curriculum was created for the basic, general public who all learn the easy way. <br /><br />Thank you for what you do. When we returned home after our Dr. Laura errand, she had a spring in her step and was super-productive in finishing her homework. <br /><br />Cyndie<br /><br />
Staff
2013-09-09T17:15:00Z
Today's Hookup Culture
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Todays-Hookup-Culture/82399936930087174.html
2013-09-06T17:00:00Z
2013-09-06T17:00:00Z
<br />I graduated college in the 90's and felt that girls respected themselves enough not to hop in bed with everyone they met. In fact I met someone in college and though we may not have held out for each other, we had less than you can count on one hand as far as partners go.<br /><br />Fast Forward to this last decade: My younger brother by 15 years graduated from a pretty heavy party college. When I remarked on how many girls he knew, he told me, "You know I would never marry any of these girls. They will actually go to bed with a different person at every party. I find it totally disgusting. That is why many of us don't bother to have girlfriends' cuz you can just pick another one up tomorrow." Not soon afterward he met a local girl not involved in the college scene and married her within a year. <br /><br />The nonchalant attitude of girls and guys was surprising to me and I wanted to question why it had become that way. I am very saddened at the state of affairs and feel so many perverted people, including teachers and administrators, support this. I fear there is no end to it. I have 2 daughters and I don't want them swayed by this college atmosphere. Perhaps they will listen to you!<br /><br />Dave
Staff
2013-09-06T17:00:00Z
Parenting Styles
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parenting-Styles/-660659046110980670.html
2013-09-06T16:00:00Z
2013-09-06T16:00:00Z
<br />My kids are all different, so my parenting style was different with each of them. <br /><br />My oldest is handicapped with a degenerative disease. She was expected to get along with others, do small chores and follow requests from parents. Losing a privilege or having a time out usually worked. We have to have a daily routine and prepare her in advance for change. <br /><br />My middle child was considered ADD, but was diagnosed bi-polar at 19. The most difficult thing was to get a project completed. I had to be very strict and not give up on getting homework and chores done. She still requires me to hold her to a strict routine at the age of 30. <br /><br />My youngest is gifted and required me to support the goals he set. Sometimes I had to be strict about him completing something that would help his future, but he would rather sleep in and put off until he had to do it. I would give a behind swat if needed, but it was rare. <br /><br />I also had to live the example of the expectations I required of them. We would listen to Dr. Laura. My son would say I did not need to listen because I was more Dr. Laura than you were. I asked him if that was a bad thing. He thought is was a good thing and still does.<br /><br />Mary
Staff
2013-09-06T16:00:00Z
Where Are the Parents?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Where-Are-the-Parents/51716360464640007.html
2013-09-05T17:00:00Z
2013-09-05T17:00:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura,<br /> <br />My family and I recently moved to a very small community. Due to the fact we didn't know anyone and there are not opportunities for social interaction outside of school, we decided to put my son in public school for kindergarten. I'm starting to rethink this decision. I don't have a problem with the education he is receiving so far, and being in a small conservative town, I think the values taught will line up well with what we are teaching at home. But what has really made me take a step back and reevaluate my situation is what happened last night.<br /> <br />Last night was the first PTO (parent, teacher organization) meeting of the year. I will admit I get a little nervous in new situations and I'm shy in a group of people I don't know, but my son's education and school are very important to me, so I left my 3 kids home with Dad and headed off to the meeting. I got to the meeting at the school which serves about 200 students to find myself, one other mother and 6 teachers who were willing to take one hour of their month out to try to make a difference in the school. I was horrified to see that no one else was willing to make an effort. It was obvious in the eyes of the teachers that they were very frustrated and discouraged. These teachers give their time and energy everyday to teach and instruct their students, and on top of that, they stayed at school to attend the meeting, but the kids' parents weren't willing to give a few minutes of their night to put the effort in for their own kids. The meeting ended with the dissolution of the PTO and instructions to the teachers that they will have to do their best within their classrooms for raising money and providing activities. <br /> <br />I'm speechless and disgusted by the lack of parental involvement and support at this school and I'm sure mine is not the only one with this problem. My current thinking is becoming, "if I'm the only one who cares anyway, maybe I should just do it on my own and spend my time and energy on my own kids instead of wasting my time on kids whose parents don't care."<br /> <br />Thank you for all of your encouragement to parents out there to actually be parents. I just wish the people of my community would listen.<br /> <br />Amy
Staff
2013-09-05T17:00:00Z
'Ditching' My Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ditching-My-Family/161581238303685157.html
2013-09-05T16:00:00Z
2013-09-05T16:00:00Z
<br />My mother passed away after an extremely brief illness. When we heard the diagnosis, I drove 3 hours to be with her in the hospital and in her home through hospice care -- which lasted only 3 weeks. My husband was left to do the heavy lifting with our 2 daughters -- then ages 7 and 10. When I called to tell him I needed to stay with my mother longer as I refused to have her be alone for any length of time, I apologized for "ditching" our family and told him I was upset not being there. He said without skipping a beat, "You will be more upset by the things you don't do for your mother now while you have the chance." His strength carried me through those horrible weeks and deepened our love for each other -- and my admiration for him.<br /> <br />Kristin
Staff
2013-09-05T16:00:00Z
My Advantage Was Nothing Was Paid For
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Advantage-Was-Nothing-Was-Paid-For/-540282934080109608.html
2013-09-04T17:00:00Z
2013-09-04T17:00:00Z
<br />I had alcoholic and checked-out parents so my character building started early. But the biggest advantage I had was no allowance and nothing paid for. I worked in strawberry fields at age 12 - I would have started younger, but they made that illegal. Then I got a paper route, and moved on to dishwashing. I learned so much doing menial jobs and they led to later success. <br /><br />My kids have all had jobs: one is working construction right now and the other is a Marine. Self-esteem comes from hard work and achievement, not a bunch of people telling us how wonderful we are. Easy childhoods can often lead to hard adulthoods.<br /><br />By the way - I was just talking to my daughter. She said I would frequently tell her when she wanted something that if I bought that stuff she would not have a college fund. Now she is getting through school with no debt while her friends are in debt to their ears. She has thanked me many times for telling them, "No" when they were young. Even her college fund only partly pays for school since she has large merit scholarships because I refused to pay extra for a private school.<br /><br />Liz<br />
Staff
2013-09-04T17:00:00Z
I Finally Get It: A Wall Will Not Change into a Door
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Finally-Get-It:-A-Wall-Will-Not-Change-into-a-Door/212719199933699139.html
2013-09-04T16:00:00Z
2013-09-04T16:00:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I want to thank you first and foremost for being a mother figure in my life! Although I will never meet you, you have impacted my life greatly. I am a die hard stay-at-home mother who is breaking the cycle of abuse passed to me. My kids do not have a day that goes by without being told they are loved and hugged. <br /><br />I was raised by an extremely narcissistic mother who was neglectful and quite abusive. I took my two children this summer to spend a week with this woman (notice I won't call her my mother). It was horrendous! I had my sister telling me how in the will she gets all of 'Mom's' possessions when she dies. This woman has pitted all of her children against one another since we were young. I'm going to be okay without being left anything. It wasn't until my 'mom' had her neighbor kids over and hugged and kissed them telling them she loved them in front of my children that my kids got to witness firsthand how she throws her love and affection at others and not her own. They were very hurt and it hit me that I can no longer have my kids around this woman. These neighbor kids and their parents don't know the abuse my 'mother' inflicted on her own kids. They don't know my earliest memory is at the age of 3 where I was bound and gagged in rags wetting myself for an entire day by this nut job of a woman for something I didn't even do. My brother wrote on the wall that day not me. He's apologized to me over the years for blaming me, but he was older and so afraid of her wrath that he said it was me. You can only imagine the years of physical and emotional abuse this woman did to us. We were threatened with guns, knives, you name it! <br /><br />These people don't change and you shouldn't allow them back in your lives. I'm going to be okay having been written out of her will because I won't kiss up to her and take the abuse any longer. My sister who was molested for over a year at the age of 5 by my 'mom's' church member deserves it more. When my sister told this crazy lady what was happening at the time she didn't do a thing. I could go on and write a novel, but I just wanted to let you know that I <em><strong>finally get it once and for all! </strong></em>You are right! She is a porcupine. You can knock on a wall all you want but it will never turn into a door. I'm amazed how many of us women are out there who have horrendous mothers. I've decided not to have her in my life anymore. In no way is it worth it to my children. <br /><br />Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for continuing to be a moral guidance for all of us who came from such dysfunction!<br /><br />Marla
Staff
2013-09-04T16:00:00Z
Remembering Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Remembering-Dad/-629256681735134267.html
2013-09-03T17:51:00Z
2013-09-03T17:51:00Z
<br />I have listened to your program for many years and most recently have brought your picture to my hair stylist to replicate one of your many do's. <br /> <br />As we approach the anniversary of my husband's passing, it brought to mind what my son had wrote for my husband's obit as well as his feelings one year later. And although we are coming upon the 6th year, his words are still powerful. <br /> <br />We had a 30 year marriage in which we both grew and matured together - some of it painful, but always a respectful relationship with a man who was a great husband and wonderful father. We were so looking forward to the years of our children being on their own while we traveled together, just being spontaneous without children underfoot. Unfortunately that was cut short. <br /> <br />We often wondered if we provided 'fun' childhood memories and what our kids thought of us as parents. Were we 'fun' and 'cool' while doing our parental duties to steer them straight, giving them good moral values and guidance to take into their adulthood? Reading my son's words confirm we did provide all the right things, but it would have been nice if my husband could have had that affirmation through my son's words.<br /> <br />Today at the 6th year anniversary of my husband's passing, I couldn't possibly stand taller and prouder of my children's accomplishments and also realize I am who I am today, not only through my children, but the love and support my husband always provided. <br /> <br />Please take a few moments to <a href="http://invertedsoapbox.com/2008/08/31/a-year-without-dad/" target="_blank">read my son's powerful words</a> as he paints a picture of who his Dad was. By the way, he is a writer for the NY Post, but this is from his blog.<br /> <br />It pains me to hear couples struggling to make life work and understand that a loving relationship is special and should not be taken for granted. People spend more time coveting their jobs and work life and forget the one thing that will be there when the job fails or when it's over. We can always start a new job, reinvent yourself many times over, but marriage and raising children, we get one shot, make it your best. <br /> <br />All my best,<br /> <br />Debbie
Staff
2013-09-03T17:51:00Z
First Day of School Memories
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/First-Day-of-School-Memories/-172455493173806232.html
2013-09-03T17:50:00Z
2013-09-03T17:50:00Z
<br />I can fondly remember my first day of kindergarten. Ms. Ford was my teacher and she was kind, funny, loving. She also made us feel she was trustworthy. I still keep in touch with my first grade teacher, Ms. Beverly, whom I lovingly call my aunt. I would spend nights with Ms. Beverly and her family during the school year. She knew my family and even 35+ years later, I remember my grade school years as some of the happiest 'It's okay to be a child,' years.<br /> <br />Fast forward to 3 years ago when my daughter was dropped off to kindergarten when I cried. I was nervous, excited, and scared with all kinds of thoughts going through my head. She was fine. Her teacher was caring and creative and my daughter has been enjoying school ever since. I see myself in her as each year goes by and she still runs to her former teachers to give them hugs. I pray she will have fond memories, too.<br /> <br />Evette
Staff
2013-09-03T17:50:00Z
My Husband Helped Me Through My Loss
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husband-Helped-Me-Through-My-Loss/-144491890714572379.html
2013-08-30T22:06:00Z
2013-08-30T22:06:00Z
<br />I am a 33-year-old woman, married for the first time in August of 2012. In May of this year, my husband and I were celebrating his birthday weekend, sitting with a couple of friends on our back patio, when my father called, saying my only sibling, my 30-year-old brother, had been found dead in his neighborhood that morning. My brother had been dealing with an addiction to drugs and alcohol for some time, but nonetheless, the news was a shock to us all. To add insult to injury, my mother and stepfather were vacationing out of the country, and my father was unsure how to deliver the news to her over the phone. At my fathers request, my husband called my stepfather and gave him the devastating news to share with my mother. From there it was a whirlwind of making memorial plans and handling my brothers finances, home, truck, dogs, and girlfriend, all while trying to cope with the reality of his passing. It has been several now, and my husband has been wonderful. He encourages me to talk about my feelings if I want to, but doesn't force it, lets me laugh and cry, and tries his best to understand when I'm just having one of those days. <br /> <br /> This unfortunate loss has brought my husband closer to my entire family, for which I am grateful; it is great to hear praise of him from those people who have now witnessed his amazing character and heart. Of course I wish this would have never happened to my family, but I feel so fortunate that I had my husband by my side when it did. <br /> <br /> Dana
Staff
2013-08-30T22:06:00Z
I Have a Different View of You Now
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Have-a-Different-View-of-You-Now/-666677931554741067.html
2013-08-30T22:02:00Z
2013-08-30T22:02:00Z
<br />When I was in the fifth grade, I found your radio program to be annoying and judgmental. However, my mother often got first dibs on the radio station when she picked me up from school and she listened to you regularly. <br /> <br /> My husband of five years also found you to be alarming when he first heard your show. We were living in an area that did not carry your show on terrestrial radio, so one afternoon when we were driving through another town, I turned you on. My then-boyfriend listened through about two calls, looked over at me and said, "Dr. Laura is a b##ch!" It took a few more calls, but he then understood and appreciated you now. <br /> <br /> My opinion has changed on you a little since the fifth grade. Now that I listen to you exclusively when I am in my car, I haven't a clue about new music and I couldn't be happier. I also take you in for grocery shopping, which has changed my view on that errand from disaster to agreeable. I'm hoping that a consistent daily dose during my work commute will keep my morals in check. <br /> <br /> In short, I owe a debt of gratitude to both you and my mom. My mother has taught me how to be the perfect stay-at-home mommy. I have been mothering my dogs to prepare myself for this wondrous task. But you, Dr. Laura, have taught me how to be the perfect wife. Thank you for helping to make the last five years of my life the best yet. I am my husband's girlfriend or his lady, as he calls me and I am practicing for the real thing as my dogs' mom. Keep doing what you do. <br /> <br /> Emily
Staff
2013-08-30T22:02:00Z
In My Day
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/In-My-Day/319910507390760557.html
2013-08-29T20:00:00Z
2013-08-29T20:00:00Z
<p class="yiv1772810558msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv1772810558msoplaintext">Hi Dr. Laura.</p>
<p class="yiv1772810558msoplaintext">You have a favorite saying that I understand very well - "In the Day." To me, "The Day" was in the 1940's and 1950's.</p>
<p class="yiv1772810558msoplaintext">I was in the first grade when WWII began. Television didn't exist at the time so we got all of our entertainment from radio and the movies. In Pennsylvania, we had Blue laws that prevented commerce from taking place on the celebrated day of rest, Sunday. And most of the families in my neighborhood were blessed with a mom and dad. It was common for grandparents to also be living in the homes - it was just after the Depression. If we misbehaved, our parents were sure to find out from neighbors. And we didn't have "play dates."</p>
<p class="yiv1772810558msoplaintext">Girls wore skirts or dresses and were taught to sit like ladies. They were also taught to keep their panties up and their dresses down. Boys were taught to keep it in their pants. And a favorite game at group parties was spin the bottle at one of the girl's homes. Boys did the spinning as we sat in a circle, and we were allowed to kiss the girl closest to the end of the bottle. We would go into a vestibule to kiss the girl. I kid you not, that was thrilling, especially if we liked the girl. We had a lot of respect for the girls. The only girls in our group were the "good girls". It was good clean fun. Believe it or not, none of us died because we were horny and who said that abstinence doesn't work? It's a lie.</p>
<p class="yiv1772810558msoplaintext">When we got to senior high school, we turned to dating in groups. Only a few of us had cars. The not so good girls and boys, the smokers and drinkers, hung out with each other. As you would expect, there were some pregnancies. In most instances there were shotgun marriages so the baby would not be a bastard. Guys were made to take responsibility. The fear of a shotgun marriage scared enough of us to control our male sexual nature. The Pill destroyed the respect that guys used to have for girls. They were on a pedestal then. Today, with a hookup culture, they are no more than sex objects who can legally kill their babies. Ask your listeners which era do they think was best for young people?</p>
<p class="yiv1772810558msoplaintext">I will be attending my 60 year high school reunion in my home town in October. We have them every five years and it is always fun to socialize with those I grew up with, when life was safer and much better than it is today. And in November, my wife and I celebrate our golden anniversary.</p>
<p class="yiv1772810558msoplaintext">Stan</p>
Staff
2013-08-29T20:00:00Z
Living on One Income
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Living-on-One-Income/223811995449597416.html
2013-08-29T19:58:00Z
2013-08-29T19:58:00Z
<p class="yiv1772810558msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv1772810558msoplaintext">Hi Dr. Laura!</p>
<p class="yiv1772810558msoplaintext">When I met my husband 17 years ago, we had the conversation about me being a stay-at-home mom when we had children. He agreed wholeheartedly, and we began planning immediately after our wedding. We started putting my entire paycheck in a special bank account, and learned to live off of ONLY his paycheck. We ate dinner at home, took sack lunches to work every day, and had friends over on the weekends to make a cheap evening, instead of going out and spending tons of money for entertainment. After a few years of living frugally, we had three years'-salary socked away to help with expenses once the first of two babies came along. Plus, we had already trained ourselves how to live on only one income, so it wasn't a shock to our system once I quit work to stay home with my kiddos.</p>
<p class="yiv1772810558msoplaintext">Once I began staying at home, I supplemented our income by helping care for an elderly neighbor and doing some transcriptions from home.</p>
<p class="yiv1772810558msoplaintext">That's how we did it!</p>
<p class="yiv1772810558msoplaintext">Thanks for all you do!</p>
<p class="yiv1772810558msoplaintext">Melanie</p>
Staff
2013-08-29T19:58:00Z
Seeing the Good I Have Now
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Seeing-the-Good-I-Have-Now/-961024624442552441.html
2013-08-28T19:28:00Z
2013-08-28T19:28:00Z
<p class="yiv508768339msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv508768339msoplaintext">Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv508768339msoplaintext">When I was 10, I was forced to listen to you while on long trips in my dad's car. I say forced because he was in charge of the radio. My parents had just gotten a divorce, and the last thing I wanted to hear was your advice to other callers on marriage while thinking he was a hypocrite after getting remarried very soon after the divorce.</p>
<p class="yiv508768339msoplaintext">Moving on when I was 16, I chose to listen to you but as a rebellious teenager I was only looking for someone to argue and debate with and you became my outlet. At age 20, newly married, I started listening again but no opinions, no debates just listening. Now I am 33. I still listen to you, but now I love you. I listen to your words, agree with most and have learned to be my husband's girlfriend and always have been my kid's mom.</p>
<p class="yiv508768339msoplaintext">In 2011, you became my outlet in life. My husband who is Active Duty Air force was suddenly hit with the diagnosis of Leukemia. Our world changed forever. At the time we had been living in Germany for 7 years, my son was 8, and a move was not expected for another 4 months. The day we got the test results we had 2 days to get our affairs in order, pack a 50 lb. suitcase for each person and leave everything behind for a move to San Antonio where my husband started chemo 2 days after we arrived. He was in the hospital for the next 7 months straight, then after nearly loosing his fight, back again for another 2 months. I struggled with how to help my son, what to tell him and how to approach it. I would think about the things my husband would miss if he left us so soon. That's where you came in. Everyday for that next year, I listened to your show and soaked up every word you gave those callers. I started to look at the good and what I had at that time and to worry about the future later. I made my son listen to you as well and it opened so many opportunities for us to talk about life, our values and our family.</p>
<p class="yiv508768339msoplaintext">My husband and I have not been intimate since his health issues began, but our marriage has never been stronger. We have grown to love each other and hold on to each other for hope and strength. I feel blessed our family had to go through this horrible ordeal only because I know now our bond will never be broken.</p>
<p class="yiv508768339msoplaintext">I am happy to say my 35-year-old husband, who has terrible neuropathy, orthostatic hypotension, and is facing a hip replacement, has so far won the fight against Leukemia. Against his wishes, he is going through a medical board review right now that will either separate or retire him from active duty. It scares us a lot on what the future might hold. He loves defending his country and family, but to me he is a warrior, a hero and a soldier in my eyes forever.</p>
<p class="yiv508768339msoplaintext">Dr Laura, thank you for everything.</p>
<p class="yiv508768339msoplaintext">Kelli</p>
Staff
2013-08-28T19:28:00Z
It All Comes Down to the Heart
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-All-Comes-Down-to-the-Heart/718043026997462118.html
2013-08-28T19:23:00Z
2013-08-28T19:23:00Z
<p class="yiv508768339msoplaintext"> </p>
<p class="yiv508768339msoplaintext">Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p class="yiv508768339msoplaintext">As you say, "choose wisely-treat kindly" are the best words you can ever say or do. I have to say treat kindly is the best even better than sex. And as to how your body looks? It is not about the body or sex, it is about you and the heart. Isn't that why you married him anyway - not looks or sex? Don't get me wrong, you have to be attracted to each other, but you also have to have a heart and be treated kindly. In today's sad world, it is all about the looks and who is more beautiful. Well that is crap and unacceptable. Like I said, it comes down to the heart and being treated kindly.</p>
<p class="yiv508768339msoplaintext">Thank you Dr. Laura for everything you do and making a difference not in only my life but the whole world. Keep doing what you are doing. God Bless you always!</p>
<p class="yiv508768339msoplaintext">Kim</p>
Staff
2013-08-28T19:23:00Z
Value of Educated Stay-at-Home Moms
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Value-of-Educated-Stay-at-Home-Moms/-620991808505526573.html
2013-08-27T21:02:00Z
2013-08-27T21:02:00Z
<br />
<p class="yiv178568630msonormal">I'm attaching a <a href="http://verilymag.com/feature/o-alma-mater/" target="_blank">link to an article</a> that is trending online lately that made me proud to be a stay-at-home mom. It was beautifully written by Anne-Marie Miginnis, an Ivy League graduate who traded a career to be a stay-at-home mom. She talks about the value of educated women who chose to raise their children and the unique contributions they are able to make to the world.</p>
<p class="yiv178568630msonormal">Like her, I have a college degree. It is not from an Ivy League school, but nonetheless, one that I am proud of. I worked very hard to attend my university on full scholarship and feel that the work ethics, discipline and education I learned in college transcend into the home, where I am now working hard to teach my children the same core values.</p>
<p class="yiv178568630msonormal">Because I am able to use my time to teach and nurture my children, rather than drop them off at day care as I rush out the door to a "real job", both of my elementary age children read a grade above their peers, are accomplished musicians (we started lessons at 3 years old and I practice with each of them every day before school), and I am able to volunteer in their classrooms every week. If I didn't make the choice to be home to raise them, I simply would not have enough time, patience or energy to share these moments with them. I may not be showered with recognition from co-workers or contemporaries in my field, but my small circle of influence, my family, benefits from what I am doing.</p>
<p class="yiv178568630msonormal">Thank you for being a champion for children and stay-home moms! We've always known that what we are doing makes a tremendous impact on society for good, but it also makes a tremendous impact on our families' happiness, sense of well-being and security.</p>
<p class="yiv178568630msonormal">Kristen</p>
Staff
2013-08-27T21:02:00Z
Living Within Your Means
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Living-Within-Your-Means/755411522146899509.html
2013-08-27T20:56:00Z
2013-08-27T20:56:00Z
<p class="yiv178568630msonormal"> </p>
<p class="yiv178568630msonormal">I am one of the few these days who was taught financial lessons growing up. Ever since I started to receive money for birthdays or babysitting, my parents sat me down and showed me how to budget and save money. I was encouraged to wait to move out until I had 6 months of living expenses saved. I brought that perspective about money into my marriage and it has been a huge foundation that I lean on to make many financial decisions with my husband today. I am updating our budget weekly and have never paid a bill late. The only debt we have is our car loan and we are trying to pay more than the minimum every month. My parents have been the best example in paying off land and homes in record time and being accountable in all financial aspects. I am so grateful for their example and we are teaching our kids the same. Pay with cash, delayed gratification and live within our means.</p>
<p class="yiv178568630msonormal">Tonya</p>
Staff
2013-08-27T20:56:00Z
Complete the Job Properly and Fully
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Complete-the-Job-Properly-and-Fully/202931227088060608.html
2013-08-26T15:28:00Z
2013-08-26T15:28:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />My biggest influence on my work ethic was my father. WE had certain chores that were EXPECTED, not asked of, but expected. When these were not performed, or not properly performed, we had to do them at whatever hour it was, or redo them to make sure it was done properly. He always stated it was important to do a job well, and that it was not okay to do a job half way!<br /><br />If we slacked off, we were simply punished and restricted until the job was completed properly and completed fully. Of course as children you always try to do the bear minimum, but that was not acceptable - you did it completely and well. My mother was the same way, but I really feel it was watching my father work hard all his life in his outside work and his work around the home.<br /><br />All three of his daughters are successful hard workers. I think he would be proud of the women and mother's we have become. I also, instilled those same values in my children. They always study hard, work hard and play well!<br /><br />Karen
Staff
2013-08-26T15:28:00Z
An Abbreviation for Divorce
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/An-Abbreviation-for-Divorce/909282057681332202.html
2013-08-26T15:27:00Z
2013-08-26T15:27:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />My daughter and her husband got a divorce about 6 months ago but my daughter moved out a year ago.<br /><br />Her two boys are devastated ages 5 and 7-1/2. They were over with us last night and they wept because it has been so hard on them to split their time. They are always missing one parent.<br /><br />I acknowledged this and we hugged. We came up with an abbreviation that divorce stinks like DP. This stands for dinosaur poopie. It makes them chuckle - they are boys, you know. But the bottom line is that their little hearts and lives have been broken. My one small consolation is that both parents are good parents but I sure wish they would have made this marriage last for more than 10 years.<br /><br />I just pray some parents change their ways because of your preaching or nagging. Thanks for all you do.<br /><br />Diane, the oatmeal cookie maker with raisins <br /><br />
Staff
2013-08-26T15:27:00Z
How to Get Through a Bad Day
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-to-Get-Through-a-Bad-Day/-113176661081486501.html
2013-08-23T21:18:00Z
2013-08-23T21:18:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />Last week, my husband called me and was telling me what a bad day at work he was having. He had been progressively getting more frustrated at work and wasn't sure whether he would be fired or would quit his job.<em> (Side note: He's never been unemployed.)</em> I could hear in his voice that this wasn't just venting or complaining. I told him I support him and love him no matter what happens and gave him a "phone hug" making a growling bear hug sound. <br /><br />When he got home that night, I gave him a real hug and told him I wished I could do more. He told me that what I said was just what he needed - and that our previous night of ummm..."passion" was what was keeping him going that day! I too had enjoyed a great night, but didn't realize the lasting effect it had on him. Looks like I'll have to keep doing my part to make it easier for him <strong>and me</strong> to get through a tough day!<br /><br />Deborah
Staff
2013-08-23T21:18:00Z
Getting Her Tubes Tied
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Getting-Her-Tubes-Tied/-319645965016322174.html
2013-08-23T21:08:00Z
2013-08-23T21:08:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />First, I'd like to let you know that in our home you are known as "Mama Laura" and that you are one of the truths we keep in high regard to being congruent with our morals and beliefs, everything else that doesn't align is suspect.<br /><br />I came home today to my husband tearing up in the garage after listening to a call you took. I'm not sure when you took the call as the program was saved on his Sirius account...Regardless; he found the call and had me listen to it. It was a young woman who had called for your advice regarding when an appropriate time was to get pregnant after securing a new job. You told her to get her tubes tied. You told her lots of great, sage, words of wisdom...none of it was being heard by her. I know this because she was laughing in response to or as a result of you advice.<br /><br />I cried<br />I cried with my husband in our garage<br />I cried because I was that woman not too many years ago<br />I cried because I no longer am that woman and I am so thankful for that<br />I cried and hugged my husband<br />I cried in thanks for you<br />I cried because I am my kid's mom and I am my husband's wife because of YOU<br /><br />Thank you!<br /><br />Stephanie
Staff
2013-08-23T21:08:00Z
Poem: Our Nation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Poem:-Our-Nation/257094316239950912.html
2013-08-22T18:42:00Z
2013-08-22T18:42:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />The other night I was gazing at my 6-month-old daughter and thinking about the world my husband and I have brought her in to. I reflected on how I am going to guide her to have the moral and spiritual strength to be a good and productive citizen, and the tools to become a wise and actualized woman. <br /><br />Then I thought of the challenges she will surely face: the decline of society's standards, the indoctrination of our children by progressives in all levels of education, the guilt laid on us to be "accepting" of behaviors that only facilitate the further decline of our morality such as children being born to people with no intention of actually raising them, convenience being more important than principles, and the rejection of any and all accountability for the choices we make. <br /><br />At the risk of subjecting you to amateur poetry, I wanted to share what I was inspired to write. There are enough words wasted on saying untruths, but I thought that perhaps I should join you in investing some to describe, perhaps a bit colorfully, what I perceive to be the precipice we find ourselves on. If you find it worthy, please pass it on. I think it describes well what is happening today. Thank you for your time. <br /><br /><strong>The Pan and the Fire</strong><br />by Morgan Graham<br /><br />A thousand free men,<br />boot over boot,<br />marching to the fading rhythm<br />of a broken drum...<br /><br />They were quietly dying<br />amidst the roar<br />of a People gone sightless<br />who cried out for more.<br /><br />A People whose children,<br />gape mouthed with hunger,<br />would never know wisdom,<br />ownership, and wonder.<br /><br />Their nation, once brave,<br />once ambitious and true,<br />became a ship quickly sinking -<br />its hull rotted through.<br /><br />Their Teachers taught only<br />the virtue of tearing<br />down the institutions once thought<br />as noble, as daring.<br /><br />Their Leaders were mortals<br />with hubris and arrogance<br />who resented their foundation<br />with its intended elegance.<br /><br />They stripped their champions<br />and proclaimed them profane.<br />They delighted in distribution,<br />of equality, in vain.<br /><br />They wished any and all<br />faces of God to die<br />and scrubbed all young minds<br />with derision and lye.<br /><br />Coveting and avarice became<br />their devotionals<br />their fashionably sensitive <br />became unapproachable.<br /><br />They stirred a great pot<br />and fed the weakness of Man<br />to fight amongst themselves-<br />all according to plan.<br /><br />The mighty fell, and they <br />delighted to see<br />their heroes shamed-<br />the burning of Three.<br /><br />The rewards and riches,<br />once earned by sweat<br />were the spoils of all<br />of the Leadership's pets.<br /><br />There is nothing left<br />but ruins and rot<br />but it solved the problem<br />of to have, or have not.<br /><br />Too many chose<br />to gladly now be<br />elite amongst the enslaved,<br />than equals amongst the free.<br /><br />A thousand lost men,<br />boot over boot,<br />marching to the long gone rhythm<br />of a long silenced drum were heard from no more.<br />
Staff
2013-08-22T18:42:00Z
Children Bond
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Children-Bond/-154248724571047777.html
2013-08-22T17:51:00Z
2013-08-22T17:51:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am writing to tell you how moved. I am by the letter from Matthew about how his wife has stayed at home in France to raise their children (<a href="/b/Being-a-Stay-at-Home-Mom-in-France/-419312175493497518.html">Being a Stay-at-Home Mom in France</a>).</p>
<p>I am a professional child caregiver. I have worked in preschools caring for both young children and infants. I would give anything to be a mom, and stay home with my children. Unfortunately, there's no husband or potential husband in my life.</p>
<p>It has saddened me to see the children I cared for at day care for most of the day. I do not judge the parents badly because I do not know their situations; it may be that professional child care is their only option. But I am still sad for the children's sakes.</p>
<p>Many of the coworkers I have worked alongside were cold and harsh towards the children. I have done my best to be the one person who provides warmth and love. In most day cares or preschools, when a baby learns to walk, he or she is transferred to a different classroom. This is traumatic for the child who has bonded to the former professional caregiver, and now is again placed in the care of a stranger. This process of transfer to a different room and teacher takes place again and again and again as the child grows older. Each time it is a saddening and traumatic experience for the child as he or she is separated from the previous caregiver to whom he or she had bonded.</p>
<p>I love my work, caring for children. But many times it is a sad, sad job.</p>
<p>Rebecca</p>
Staff
2013-08-22T17:51:00Z
Infertility
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Infertility/-280915728735155337.html
2013-08-21T19:50:00Z
2013-08-21T19:50:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Thank you for your video "<a href="/b/Video:-Im-Infertile/-654853381362548505.html" target="_self">I'm Infertile</a>". I have read so much over the 7 years of attempted baby making. This included lots and lots of people's blogs. There are two things I think are important to communicate to someone going down this road, and I thought you might be interested, as I am sure you get these types of calls a lot. <br /><br /><strong>IVF:</strong> the cost is not just monetary. After a failed IVF, the grief and loss of your babies is devastating. We've had seven, and received a photo of three of them. The blogs address it as "Oh, it didn't work, I'll try again." But the reality is that was a life, and it's gone. It was YEARS before I could talk about our lost babies without sobbing. Even now I'm tearing up more than 3 years later. I have their framed photos hidden behind a cabinet door in my office next to a teddy bear. I had no one to bury. That is my attempt at dealing with the pain. I wish I had known this going in. I wish someone on some blog had admitted it. I wish my "I WANT A BABY!!" brain would have considered it. <br /><br /><strong>Fostering:</strong> Is hard, and painful, and beautiful, and worth it. You'll wonder why God is punishing you at the same time as you're aware that this is the most important thing you could possibly do with your life. We are foster parents to a 3-year-old girl (soon-to-be-adoptive parents, God willing), and adoptive parents of her 4-year-old sister also through foster care. When they moved in about a year ago, they didn't trust us. They had every right...this was the older sister's third foster home through no action of her own. She SHOULD test us. And she did. We set about proving that she could trust us. <br /><br />But we never would have survived the first weeks without <a href="http://empoweredtoconnect.org" target="_blank">EmpoweredToConnect.org</a> and the teaching Dr. Purvis provides. What do you do when your 3-year-old throws herself on the floor, stiff limbed in a very real memory provoked tantrum? Or when she flips over furniture out of a pain induced fit? Thanks to the year we spent studying BEFORE becoming foster parents, we were ready. We still felt lost, but we were as ready as we could be. <br /><br />Finally, get a family therapist when you start fostering. Someone you and your spouse can run questions by when you're lost. It will minimize "He wants to do it this way but she wants it this way" parenting disputes. Because when dealing with a child from a hard place, there's just no room for disconnect from your teammate, your spouse, the one you're in this with forever. Also, when a crazy situation comes up and it will, this is the foster system you have someone to ask. For us it was "how do we explain that the older sister is being adopted while the younger has to wait?" <br /><br />I hope this helps someone. <br /><br />A.<br />
Staff
2013-08-21T19:50:00Z
My Best and Worst Breakups
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Best-and-Worst-Breakups/-606198873785936955.html
2013-08-21T19:47:00Z
2013-08-21T19:47:00Z
<br />The best way that someone broke it off with me was to tell me they thought I was wonderful, but did not feel that elusive click. This was classy, and it left me feeling good about myself. I have used this line myself a time or two. <br /><br />Worst way was when my husband of 17 years and father of my 3 children left me a note on the kitchen table on New Years Eve 1999 telling me he was going off to start the new millennium with the love of his life, he would be back in a few weeks to explain it to the kids, and they would absolutely love her. Devastating to all, YES! Did his new relationship last? NO... it ended when she got pregnant with someone else's baby. <br /><br />Carol<br />
Staff
2013-08-21T19:47:00Z
15 Minutes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/15-Minutes/864140737696678900.html
2013-08-20T18:40:00Z
2013-08-20T18:40:00Z
<br />Recently, you opened your program talking about meltdowns and how to avoid/deal with them. I have a few things I find helpful. I actually have a lot of meltdowns, and I know intellectually that it's not helpful or productive. Here are a few things I do, depending on the time of day. Sometimes, I just go outside to "cool down" and vent to G-d my frustrations. If it's evening, I find something on TV to help me mentally unwind, such as Big Bang Theory, which makes me laugh. <br /><br />I also take spin classes and cardio kickboxing at the gym, which allows me to clear my mind, and calm down. After my morning workout, I am usually feeling much better, and ready to tackle the rest of the day. <br /><br />Then, there are times I am completely overwhelmed. It seems impossible on Friday to cook for Shabbos, fold piles of laundry on my couch, vacuum, sweep and mop the kitchen floor, and change the guinea pig cage. By mid-day, I'm tired, hungry, and just beat. My solution? 15 minutes. I put the timer on, and get something to eat and drink, and just take a few moments to calm myself down. Sometimes it's as simple as taking a shower, or even going outside to water the garden. The idea is to take 15 minutes as a breather, just to give myself a break. This really helps me to calm my nerves, and get back into the rest of my day. <br /><br />Judy<br />
Staff
2013-08-20T18:40:00Z
Friends of a Feather Flock Together
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Friends-of-a-Feather-Flock-Together/609234190157990203.html
2013-08-20T18:33:00Z
2013-08-20T18:33:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura: <br /><br />I'm 52 years old and the older I get, the more I find the saying "You ARE who you surround yourself with" is so very true. Cheaters hang with cheaters, parents who treat their children like objects hang with the same, materialistic people hang with the same and try to out do each other and the list goes on. My husband used to only hang with friends who, even though they were married, acted as if they were single: Constantly leaving their families behind for ski trips, rafting trips, bar trips, football games, beach trips etc...There were more reasons to be away from their families than be with them. It was tough for me, but you helped re-enforce what a family is.n it. When he was given the option "Either you are in or WE are out" he decided his family was more important... <br /><br />Thanks for reinforcing family values. Twenty-two years later my guy is who he surrounds himself with: "My hubby and my kids' Dad." <br /><br />BTW...all those friends are NOW divorced!!! Dr. Laura...YOU ROCK! <br /><br />Angela<br />Mom First!<br />
Staff
2013-08-20T18:33:00Z
I Got My Husband Back
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Got-My-Husband-Back/-615425652307020918.html
2013-08-19T20:13:00Z
2013-08-19T20:13:00Z
<br />Dearest Dr Laura, <br /><br />I have been married for 3 years and it has been tough: my husband works abroad for 2 months at a time. Due to jet lag and exhaustion of working 2 months solid without days off, when he comes home, he can be quite grumpy. I would always retaliate to this by moaning and nagging. I often felt sorry for myself that I was the one left at home all the time and didn't believe he understood how I felt. This would cause a lot of resentment and arguments. At one point things were not good, but neither of us wanted to give up on our marriage. <br /><br />On a recent holiday with my husband, we met a young man who was making a living for his wife and daughter back in India. He only gets to see them once a year!!! From that moment on I knew I had to re-examine at my relationship, and that's when I came across your book, <em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>. It made me see how hard my husband works and what he goes through to give us the life we have. I realized I have been selfish and a nag. I'm surprised he is still here, but so happy he is! I put everything in the book into practice including treating my husband like a guest in our own home, showering him with compliments, admiration and affection, leaving notes each morning for him. I bought him a season ticket for his favourite football club so he could have more time with his friends, and the list goes on. And like the book says, the more I do, the more he reciprocates. I feel our relationship is back to the way we were when we first got together. <br /><br />I have read your book 4 times now and as soon as I finish, I just start again. I can say for the first time in years I am so happy. Thank you for giving me my husband back and making me a good wife who acts like a girlfriend! <br /><br />Claire<br />
Staff
2013-08-19T20:13:00Z
Damaged vs. Normal
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Damaged-vs.-Normal/791328877590323306.html
2013-08-19T20:02:00Z
2013-08-19T20:02:00Z
<br />I have a friend on Facebook who always posts "famous" people's quotes that verify her unhappiness in life. I usually sigh, and move on. But she gets "likes" and comments. <br /><br />Today, she posted a quote I could not ignore. It was a picture of a famous actor, Jonhnny Depp with this quote: <br /><br />"We're all damaged in our own way. Nobody's perfect. I think we are all somewhat screwy, every single one of us." <br /><br />I had to respond: <br /><br />I disagree, and wholeheartedly. I dislike the term "damaged" as it is psychobabble. <br /><br />Of course nobody is perfect, and of course we are ALL a little screwy! That is what I call NORMAL, and you can't fix normal. <br /><br />In LIFE, we are supposed to have trials and tribulations, dents in our physical and psychological armor. We are SUPPOSED to have sadness, happiness, gains and losses so we can reflect, grow, learn to educate. You embrace ALL aspects of life and death, not run away from them! <br /><br />To wallow on being "damaged" is self-serving and an excuse to do nothing. I own my battle scars proudly. <br /><br />I will share my learned reflections with those who listen, not those who just hear. <br /><br />Suzanne<br />
Staff
2013-08-19T20:02:00Z
Ode to Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ode-to-Dr.-Laura/-80735468347343940.html
2013-08-16T17:26:00Z
2013-08-16T17:26:00Z
<br />Dear Dr Laura,<br /><br />I'd like to share with you my "Ode to Dr. Laura" to express my affection/gratitude to you! Here ya' go! :<br /><br />Dr. Laura is her kid's mom and her husband's girlfriend;<br />She works out like a maniac to maintain her tight end!<br /><br />Push-ups, pull-ups, pumping iron, "Oh, my!"<br />Shooting pool, shooting guns - mess with her? Don't even try!<br /><br />Tattoo on her arm of a skull with a rose;<br />She's one tough chick who can strike a mean yoga pose!<br /><br />Dr. Laura loves her family, she loves her dogs,<br />She rides a Harley - yes, she loves those hogs!<br /><br />60's music in her red Charger with red stripe;<br />"Credit card info for XM, please"...swipe-swipe-swipe!<br /><br />Jewelry and crafts; creations so unique,<br />Check them out at the Dr. Laura Boutique!<br />----------------------------------------------<br />A warning for future callers:<br /><br />1. If you plan to say "I don't know," <br />don't even bother calling the show.<br /><br />2. Don't talk over her; she makes it quite clear,<br />otherwise you'll get a shrill whistle in your ear.<br /><br />3. "EVEN IF" her eyes are green and purple Martians land in Times Square, <br />her answer won't change...save your air!<br /><br />4. If half-way through the call you "up-the-anty" or change your story somehow,<br />The call is OVER with a: "Y'all have a nice day now..."<br /><br />5. Anything that follows a "but" or "it's just..." will not be heard...<br />She won't tolerate it...not a single word!<br /><br />6. Don't call and boast about your BEAUTIFUL children;<br />she appreciates DECENT people, not "Barbie & Ken".<br /><br />7. If it's insight from Dr. Laura you plan to gain; <br />be ready to do the work and use your brain!<br /><br />8. She'll sit quietly while you ponder and think,<br />just don't fidget with papers or dishes in the sink!<br /><br />9. Don't ramble mindlessly in Dr. Laura's ear,<br />or an ascending "ma'am, Ma'am, MA'AM...!!" is what you will hear. <br /><br />------------------------<br />Dr. Laura's "Words of Wisdom"<br /><br />1. Memorize the formula for a perfect marriage: "choose wisely, treat kindly..."<br />love is not enough; don't marry blindly!<br /><br />2. Life is not a fairy tale; when you wish upon a star, <br />you can bet, disappointment isn't far.<br /><br />3. If someone in your life is causing you endless pain,<br />move away as an amoeba...who hasn't even a brain!<br /><br />4. WOMEN: Keep yourself on a pedestal - demand more;<br />don't shack up with some stud; lest you become his "unpaid whore!"<br /><br />5. Turn on the music: dance, dance, dance;<br />You'll feel better in no time...give it a chance!<br /><br />6. You are the architect of your life;<br />avoid those who cause you grief and strife.<br /><br />7. Love is a verb, as Dr. Laura would say;<br />like "Swimming through shark-infested waters to bring her a lemonade"<br /><br />----------------<br />In Conclusion:<br /><br />XM Radio, 4 hours a day,<br />Call 1-800-D-R-L-A-U-R-A<br /><br />Podcasts and social media galore,<br />YouTube, FaceBook, Twitter & more!<br /><br />Call or listen for wisdom, advice, most anything,<br />just remember: "Now...go DO the RIGHT THING!"<br /><br /><br /><br />Thank you for all you do!<br /><br />Jana<br />My husband's girlfriend and my kids' mom<br />
Staff
2013-08-16T17:26:00Z
Needed: Bird-Brained Mothers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Needed:-Bird-Brained-Mothers/642276770929423219.html
2013-08-16T17:22:00Z
2013-08-16T17:22:00Z
<br />We have these little birds in our yard called Killdeer. They nest on the ground among some small rocks along side at the end of our driveway. If we even venture in the direction of the nest, Mama Killdeer will begin screaming at us, and we have no doubt what she's saying! If we continue to walk down the driveway, she will run off to draw our attention away from her nest. She'll feign an injured wing to attract us to her and away from her babies. She'll even take on our car without hesitating. Now that's a mother! Somewhere along the line, many human parents have let their big brains get in the way of their innate nature to protect their children. I can proudly say, I'm a bird-brained mom!<br /><br />Laura<br />
Staff
2013-08-16T17:22:00Z
Building Character in Youth
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Building-Character-in-Youth/667329418909425006.html
2013-08-15T20:02:00Z
2013-08-15T20:02:00Z
<br />My Dad was the hardest working man I know. He used to work 3 jobs so my mom could stay home and take care of my 3 siblings and send us to Catholic school. He is now retired. <br /><br />When I was a seventeen, I worked 6 days a week through a health occupations program with my school. I went to school half day and worked the other half, plus Saturdays. One Friday night, I went out and drank alcohol with my friends. I had to work the next day. After I overslept, my dad woke me up and told me to get ready for work. He DROVE me to work and dropped me off. I was stuck there all day, with a hangover. I will never forget it. <br /><br />Recently I was with one of my friends from high school. Her son did the same thing. The only difference is she let him sleep in and take the day off. Guess what? He slept all day and went out drinking again that night with his friends. I worry about his future. <br /><br />I have passed my work ethic down to my son who is now in college and working 2 jobs. I am not worried about him. <br /><br />Thanks for all you do! <br /><br />Respectfully, <br /><br />Donna<br />
Staff
2013-08-15T20:02:00Z
Fight or Be Fat!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fight-or-Be-Fat!/-381343077845825485.html
2013-08-15T19:52:00Z
2013-08-15T19:52:00Z
<br />Dr Laura:<br /><br />Recently, you were talking to a caller who was giving excuses as to why she couldn't lose weight. You gave her the hard facts: eat less, move more in more words than that. You gave me a much needed double slap behind the head to get back on track again. You see I lost 95 lbs. a couple years ago and recently fell and broke my wrist. I am in a full cast on my left arm. I have been having a pity party, feeling sorry for myself, and have been eating volumes and sitting on my butt, gaining weight. You are so right it is hard to stay on track and not be lazy. Your words made me realize I worked too hard to give up on how I look and feel now compared to 95 lbs. ago. My cast will come off in 4 weeks and I am going to fight to get off the 9 lbs. I gained being a whiner and get back on track because no one can do it for me - only I can. I do not want to be the two-thirds of America again like I was before. It's a choice you make - you're either FIGHT OR BE FAT!<br /><br />Thanks Dr Laura. Keep letting your trainer kick your butt because you look great!<br /><br />Typed with one finger/one hand:<br /><br />Sherry
Staff
2013-08-15T19:52:00Z
Misconceptions About Stay-at-Home Moms
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Misconceptions-About-Stay-at-Home-Moms/729144079695935744.html
2013-08-14T18:01:00Z
2013-08-14T18:01:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />For 9 glorious years, I was a stay-at-home mom, until both children were in school and then I went back to school to get my master's in education so that I could have the same type of school schedule that they had. I made sure I was always there for my children with a plate of cookies in one hand and a hug from the other.<br /><br />When my children were young, and my husband was up-and-coming in his job, we went to various functions and "hobnobbed" with some people in high positions. The other wives all worked and when anybody asked me what I did for a living, they paled at my response and suddenly felt the need for another drink or an hors d'oeuvre. It got to the point where I felt embarrassed at saying that I was a stay-at-home mom, but in my heart, I knew it was the most important job of all and I tried to state it with as much pride and enthusiasm as I could muster. I think the biggest misconception is that people don't realize that it takes skill at multitasking, organization, leadership, ingenuity, a level head to run a household and mentor children - at least if you do it well. My husband always complimented me on a clean, organized house with happy children and a lovely dinner awaiting him when he came home from work. Sometimes, on a busy day, when fun with the kids superseded cleaning house, I would just put a little dab of Pledge behind my ear and my husband would still be turned on!<br /><br />Above all else, I am my kids' mom and my husband's girlfriend! And that is the best job of all!! I have listened to you for 21 years. Thank you, Dr. Laura for your support of stay at home moms!<br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Danielle<br />
Staff
2013-08-14T18:01:00Z
Giving Me the Balls to be My Kids' Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Giving-Me-the-Balls-to-be-My-Kids-Mom/-940026595886025895.html
2013-08-14T18:00:00Z
2013-08-14T18:00:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />Recently my hubby, me and our 4 kids, ages 17,14,11,8 (3 boys, 1 girl), were on a cross-country trip and we listened to your show as much as possible. During one particular call you made a comment to a caller regarding parents not talking to their kids about inappropriate sexual behavior. You told this caller to remind her child to "keep her hands off a boy's crotch". As I heard this, I shouted out in the car, "In case I haven't said it, keep your hands out of a boy's crotch! And, to you boys, keep your hands out of a girl's crotch!" <br /><br />Several groans were heard throughout the car as I further explained that as a parent it is my duty to teach all that I can to protect my kids. My oldest child commented with, "We already know about this, Mom!" When I asked him how he already knew about such behavior he responded, "Because you're one of the few parents who has the balls to tell their kids!" <br /><br />Thanks for giving me the balls to be my kids' mom and for making our car rides...interesting! <br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Stephanie<br />
Staff
2013-08-14T18:00:00Z
A Shift In Attitude About Eating a Cookie
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Shift-In-Attitude-About-Eating-a-Cookie/-556690678569558046.html
2013-08-13T18:52:00Z
2013-08-13T18:52:00Z
<br />Hi, Dr. Laura,<br /><br />Something you said recently changed my life. It was about discipline. You said, in regards to not eating a cookie, for example, that most people look at it with the loss, pain, and deprivation of not having the cookie. But you look at it as the joy and awesomeness of not eating the cookie. What is the joy and awesomeness of not eating the cookie? That your butt looks great and you can wear tight stretchy pants, climb ropes and mountains etc. What a difference a shift in attitude can make!<br /> <br />This makes perfect sense to me and it is actually very simple. I have been making really bad choices by eating junk. Eating junk makes me feel great at the moment I am in the physical act of eating it, but immediately after I realize that this is the reason I do not have a fit thin body that this is the reason my legs are fat, that this is the reason I cannot do many awesome physical things. So I have been looking at it as the pain of not having the cookie, but now I’m going to look at it as the awesomeness of not having the cookie because it will get me an awesome body, one in which I will be proud of wearing stretchy pants without putting a sweater around my waist to hide its wide shape. It is awesome not to eat the cookie! Think of all the clothes I will get to wear and all the physical things I will get to do!! This has really changed my life. I will now make a choice to be fit, thin, awesome, sexy and healthy! Thank you so much Dr. Laura for repeating what you always have said, but in a different way to really hit me in the head and go “Duh! It is totally my choice to be fat!”. My change in attitude and perspective changes now. Thank you once again.<br /><br />Hugs,<br /><br />Didi<br /><br />P.s. I will keep you posted on my progress as my body changes to fit my new choices<br />
Staff
2013-08-13T18:52:00Z
My Self-Discipline Accomplishment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Self-Discipline-Accomplishment/-553416563419261178.html
2013-08-13T18:47:00Z
2013-08-13T18:47:00Z
<br />We live in rural area where my husband farms. A local firefighter and his wife opened up a CrossFit gym in their farm shed. Our son began crossfit with them, along with his high school football team. One morning last summer at 6:45am, I was leaving for a run, when my son pulled into the driveway, home from CrossFit. I thought it must have been cancelled, because he was home so early. "Nope. It just doesn't take very long." He'd already been to the 6 am workout and driven 12 miles home! That was when I decided I had to try it. I used to run and do Taebo in front of the TV; more recently, I tried Zumba and pilates' dvds, but was having trouble sticking with anything. My husband surprised me by announcing that he was coming with me to the training session. We began going to the 6 am class, and we've now been going for a year! I recruited a young mom, who's now as hooked as we are. The gym has since moved further away, closer to town. <br /><br />Crossfit classes feel like being part of a team: everyone cheers and high five's each other, compliments achievements and admires watching those who can do "kipping pull-ups" w/o bands! My husband had a herniated disc, and went through 2 rounds of steroid injections. He hasn't needed any more. And, where else can men AND women, teens through 70's, all shapes and sizes, beginners to those in great shape, all do the same workout and come away exhausted and happy? Exercises and weights are scaled to ability; Our son lifts more weight, and gets more rounds in, or, if the number of rounds is set, he'll finish faster. Beginners start with jumping pull-ups, graduate to banded, and eventually cut down the number of bands, etc.<br /><br />We're both stronger, healthier, and it's fun to groan about burpees and hang cleans with my son and his friends! Best of all, it's been great for our marriage: Dan calls me his "CrossFit Dolly" and is always telling me how much he likes the way I look now! He has trouble keeping his hands to himself!<br /><br />I've thought of you, Dr. Laura, often, since we've joined. You look great, and I know you work hard to keep in shape. Listening to you kept me motivated to find something I could stick with.<br /><br />Thanks very much!!<br /><br />Shelley<br />
Staff
2013-08-13T18:47:00Z
Taking the Time to Show He Matters
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-the-Time-to-Show-He-Matters/239423806008434765.html
2013-08-12T17:31:00Z
2013-08-12T17:31:00Z
<br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />My husband is a very simple man. He is very "low-maintenance" and it's the little things that make him happy. What little I have to offer is not only wanted, but very important. It was only after reading one of your books that I was able to learn and understand some things about a man's needs that I did not comprehend before. Your book was a turn key for me in my married life. I feel fortunate my husband loves me and considers me his best friend. <br /><br />One of the things he has said that is important to him is that we work together through issues. Some of those issues have been hard, such as what we endured following the suicide of our first and oldest teenage son. We are parents to six children. Watching each of my five remaining children grieve in their own individual way was probably the hardest thing for me to endure. But with the help of some very good friends, wise counsel, God's instruction and grace, we got through it and continued to press forward TOGETHER. As of this year, we will have enjoyed 33 years of marriage. <br /><br />My husband has demonstrated to me that he is trustworthy and is my eternal companion and best friend. He is the best thing to ever happen to me. I've learned that it's important to communicate effectively - and this is probably something that will take a lifetime for us to learn to do, but we continue to work on this TOGETHER. <br /><br />Although in life there are no guarantees, I believe that even in today's world, a good marriage can still happen, but it's important for one to discipline, commit and invest. Discipline and devote yourself to your husband. Commit and invest a little time and attention to HIM - and yes, that means both physically as well as emotionally. My husband tells me often that he loves me. He hugs me a lot and makes me feel special even when I can barely stand myself. He has proven to me that I can trust him. By my taking the time to show him that he matters to me, I have been richly blessed.<br /><br />Danielle<br />
Staff
2013-08-12T17:31:00Z
Does Anyone 'Win' in Step-Families?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Does-Anyone-Win-in-Step-Families/974333337373922620.html
2013-08-12T17:24:00Z
2013-08-12T17:24:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />So where do I start? I've been married to a man with 2 children from the first wife for 32 years - so we have seen/dealt with much. And I, the "wicked stepmom" have had the most to "deal with." Plus we had children…<br /><br />As Princess Diana said of her situation (though different, it led to the demise of the marriage) - "There were three of us in this marriage." Yes, the first wife is always somewhere and the second wife/marriage is often undermined, criticized, talked about in "behind the scenes" as it were. She is motivated by defeat/jealousy/failure/hatred/immaturity/other female emotions. RARE are there friendships between first and second wives -- unless there is a third wife. And who needs one of those? - Certainly not the children.<br /><br />The influences and values of the other household are often problematic --especially if the father/husband is trying to keep peace with both women (fat chance). And now the influence of the older daughter upon my daughters is problematic for me.<br /><br />And then there's money. Dad often allows many feelings of regret (guilt or false guilt?) to lead him to bad decisions of financial support - even situations with serious financial repercussions.<br /><br />No matter how much you do, what your motivations are, the kids do not ever understand/agree with the separation/divorce/break up of their family. They feel (rather rightly) gypped. I once encouraged my husband to tell his kids that he was sorry they had to grow up in a single-parent-household; that he was sorry it hadn't worked out with their mother, but that he hoped they would be able to make just one, permanent marriage for themselves because that is clearly the best/most desirable way. He's never done it.<br /><br />And we had a "fairly good" stepfamily situation. <br /><br />Need more?<br /><br />With much love and gratitude,<br /><br />Nancy<br />
Staff
2013-08-12T17:24:00Z
Why My Favorite Teacher Was Important to Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-My-Favorite-Teacher-Was-Important-to-Me/998902232823115763.html
2013-08-09T17:38:00Z
2013-08-09T17:38:00Z
<p> </p>
Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I cried, scared to death when I found out I was going to have a 'man' for my 6th grade teacher, but for me, Mr. Davis was life changing. At the time I did not know we were his first class. He had asked and gotten permission to do a different style of teaching. He tables set up with different academics at each table. About every 50 min, a bell would go off and we would change tables. We got to work at our own pace. He joked around, but kept us in line. <br /><br />I was a smart child, but in first grade, I had a teacher who was 'tormenting' me. She locked me in a closet because I brought lunch from home. She called me names, picked me up by my ankles and shook me (upside down in a dress) because I didn't know a word from my Dick and Jane book, etc. I never told my mother because the teacher was our next door neighbor. In front of my mother, she would hug me and tell my mom 'what a good girl I was, her best student', what a confusing message. <br /><br />So throughout my school years, I was very quiet, never wanting to bring any attention to myself. If a teacher called on me to 'read aloud' or to answer a question, I would freeze! I would start shaking and always start crying. I could NOT speak up in class - I could not speak, not one word. I didn't know why until I was an adult.<br />However, Mr. Davis, he knew there was a problem. He was always kind and soft spoken to me. One day he asked me to stay after school. He sat me down and told me I was one of his smartest students (who ME??). He asked me what was wrong. I didn't know at the time. But that talk he gave me, and the time he took to try to help me throughout the year, always stuck with me. I cried when I had to leave and go on to Jr. High school, I did not want to leave him behind. What a change a year made.<br /><br />I went back and saw him 25 years later. To my surprise, he remembered me. The first thing he said was, "Of course I remember you. You were one of my smartest kids". I told him about my first grade teacher and he acknowledged he could tell something had happened and he tried to help. I believe he helped me quite a bit just by giving me the word 'smart' that I carry with me in the back of my mind.<br /><br />DeNise
Staff
2013-08-09T17:38:00Z
Childhood Fears
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Childhood-Fears/58213534504545809.html
2013-08-09T17:34:00Z
2013-08-09T17:34:00Z
<p> </p>
Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />This subject has been a stump I get on often over the years. When I was a child I was so blessed to live in the country. We didn't have a TV and my mom stayed home. She would kick us out of the house to go play in the yard. She was a woman with many fears, but her simple act of making me go outside to play ended up helping me to face a host of my own fears. By having to use my imagination to entertain myself, I found out a lot about the limits of my strength and creativity. This gave me confidence to try new things or to know about cause and effect, thus eliminating a lot of fears about what "could" happen.<br /><br />Allowing children to truly explore and test their abilities is vital to helping them learn to think logically, rationally and sensibly. I believe our society would be much better off if kids were outside playing instead of rotting their bodies and minds in front of computers, televisions and other electronic devices.<br /><br />C in TX
Staff
2013-08-09T17:34:00Z
When I Feel Overwhelmed as a Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-I-Feel-Overwhelmed-as-a-Mom/-496657036114670691.html
2013-08-08T17:39:00Z
2013-08-08T17:39:00Z
<p> </p>
Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I am Mom to 2 kids, ages 6 and 1, and my children are my joy and my delight. Since just before my first child was born, I have stayed at home to raise them. Although it is very financially challenging, I cannot imagine anyone other than me or my husband raising our children. I consider myself very blessed to have and to know my wonderful kids. <br /><br />With that said, I also experience times of feeling overwhelmed. For me, I've found that I am most overwhelmed whenever I am not experiencing a good relationship and connection with my husband. I've found it odd that, even when the particular stressors of an overwhelming day with my children do not appear to be much different from a not-so overwhelming day with them, I experience feelings of being overwhelmed. What I have noticed as the main difference between these 2 types of days is the days I feel extremely overwhelmed and emotionally exhausted are times when my husband and I are either in a tiff or somehow not connected. I think I feel overwhelmed as a mom because I do not feel supported by my husband and, instead, I feel alone and 'separated' from him during those overwhelming times. <br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, for your support of stay-at-home parents, for sharing your keen insight, and for promoting the principle of doing the right thing.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Susy<br />
Staff
2013-08-08T17:39:00Z
Growing Up in a Blended Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Growing-Up-in-a-Blended-Family/-889171881293840197.html
2013-08-08T17:37:00Z
2013-08-08T17:37:00Z
<p> </p>
I was the only child of my mother and father; my 4 older sisters were from my mother's first marriage. My mother had not intended to have another child with my father...but I happened. On top of that, my mother and father divorced.<br /><br />The biggest issue growing up was the two separate families… and it's still an issue, though more to me than my sisters. Their father's big family always had reunions and parties that I didn't go on because my father didn't want me off with their family and father or my father had visitation that weekend. This always made me feel left out and like a half sister. It was more my father's doing at the time but this trend has continued until today. Every time my sisters discuss their latest family reunion or how interesting it is to find out something about their ancestry, I feel totally shut out and ignored. They don't think about it probably, but as an only child (in a way), I don't have that camaraderie with another sibling that they do. <br /><br />My mother also often had to deal with me differently than my sisters because my father was very verbally abusive. My sisters would point out she wasn't as hard on me as she was on them. With blended families, you can't treat everyone equally because each kid from another family has another group of family members and father/mother so each kid needs to be treated differently: it doesn't always come up fair or acceptable for everyone. <br /><br />Candice
Staff
2013-08-08T17:37:00Z
Negative Impacts of Drinking
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Negative-Impacts-of-Drinking/-280453751236296364.html
2013-08-07T17:31:00Z
2013-08-07T17:31:00Z
<p> </p>
My father is an alcoholic, as was his father and one sister. Going to my paternal grandparent's house was nothing short of a nightmare; both men getting drunk, arguing politics, etc., then a nightmare 30 mile ride home with a drunk driver. If I was lucky, he would pass out before the drive home so my mother could drive. (She is 5'7", he was 6'2" and you just DID NOT tell him he couldn't drive if he was drunk). <br /><br />To this day, I cannot stand to watch scary movies or shows; I can't ride "scary" rides at fairs. I cannot bear the feeling of terror, even though it's supposed to be "fun". I think it's because I was so terrified during my childhood/adolescence. <br /><br />I grew 6 inches during 6th grade. However, I was not able to get new clothes because money had to go for beer. You can imagine how nice the other kids were with my super flood-water pants. My father deliberately made me cry while driving me to my first high school choir concert (he admitted this later). How ashamed I was to go into the school and try to sing with my red face. <br /><br />Every day at home was horrible if he was there. You never knew what was going to happen. I remember taking my sister and brother on walks to my maternal grandfather's house, over a mile away, at 10:00 pm to escape him. There are so many stories like this, I could go on for 30,000 characters, but who wants to read that? <br /><br />I guess the most positive impact has been that, since I have been an adult and moved away, I have had basically no contact with him. My 19-year-old daughter only saw him once when she was 2 or 3. I just had to break away to become a healthy, happy person. When someone is an alcoholic, you interact with the alcohol, not the person, and it's not fun, exciting, or healthy. It has affected my sense of being loved, since I never felt like my father loved me. To this day, I really don't know if he does, since he was such a chronic liar and I find it impossible to believe him. It has driven a large rift between my sister and I, because she does not remember everything I do and doesn't understand why I don't want anything to do with him. It has hurt my whole family terribly in so many ways.<br /><br />Elaine
Staff
2013-08-07T17:31:00Z
Six Words You Should Say Today
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Six-Words-You-Should-Say-Today/-606662920590505645.html
2013-08-07T17:23:00Z
2013-08-07T17:23:00Z
<p> </p>
Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />Because I have been my daughter's mom, I'm proud to say that now I am her best friend. She's a junior at one of our state's most prestigious colleges, and is independent, fun, a leader and overall brilliant. Okay, I could be biased, but seriously. she's pretty great. When I was pregnant, all of my teaching money went to paying off our debts so I could stay home with her. My husband and I rented a tiny house for $350 a month and I stayed home and adored her and savored every moment in the childhood that always goes by too fast. I did a lot of things right. However, one thing I wish I had done better is reflected in this blog. It isn't my blog, but one that was shared on a friend's Facebook page. I hope you will share it with your listeners. It is powerful. - Ashley<br /><br />PS. My daughter, now age 20, loves your show! I told you she was brilliant!<br /><br />
<blockquote><strong>Six Words You Should Say Today</strong><br /><br />Very rarely does one sentence have immediate impact on me.<br /><br />Very rarely does one sentence change the way I interact with my family.<br /><br />But this one did. It was not from Henry Thoreau or some renowned child psychologist. It was a comment from kids themselves. And if I’ve learned anything on this "Hands Free" journey, it is that children are the true experts when it comes to "grasping what really matters."<br /><br />Here are the words that changed it all:<br /><br />"… College athletes were asked what their parents said that made them feel great, that amplified their joy during and after a ballgame. Their overwhelming response: "I love to watch you play.'"<br /><br />The life-changing sentence came at the beginning of an article entitled, "What Makes a Nightmare Sports Parent and What Makes a Great One" which described powerful insights gathered over three decades by Bruce E. Brown and Rob Miller of Proactive Coaching LLC. Although I finished reading the entire piece, my eyes went back and searched for that one particular sentence; the one that said, "I love to watch you play."<br /><br />I read it exactly five times. And then I attempted to remember all past verbal interactions I had with my kids at the conclusion of their extracurricular activities.<br /><br />Upon completion of a swim meet, a music recital, a school musical, or even a Sunday afternoon soccer game, had I ever said, "I like to watch you play"?<br /><br />I could think of many occasions when I encouraged, guided, complimented, and provided suggestions for improvement. Did that make me a nightmare sports parent? No, but maybe sometimes I said more than was needed.<br /><br />Read the entire blog here. <a href="http://www.handsfreemama.com/2012/04/16/six-words-you-should-say-today/" target="_blank">http://www.handsfreemama.com/2012/04/16/six-words-you-should-say-today/</a></blockquote>
Staff
2013-08-07T17:23:00Z
Steps I Took to Lose Weight
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Steps-I-Took-to-Lose-Weight/614301867373995904.html
2013-08-06T17:59:00Z
2013-08-06T17:59:00Z
<p> </p>
When I met my husband I was 53 years old, 5'4",122 pounds. I exercised 3 times a week religiously, and it was very easy to control what I ate as I was single. I have never been on a real diet in my life-- I'd just cut out sweets for a while and be back to my normal weight in no time. Post-menopausal life is very different, and those days are gone. Dating brought a whole new diet into my life: fried foods, starches, lots of red meat, etc., and before I knew it I had put on 5 pounds. I told myself that I was "fat and happy."<br /><br />We were married when I was 54, and I continued to gain weight up to 135 pounds. I finally began to think such things as," Well, I'm old now and tired of working so hard to stay thin. I deserve to just relax and will just accept my new shape." Until the day that I stepped on the scale and saw the number 139--I was about to venture into the 140's--this was completely unacceptable to me! HOW did I gain 17 pounds?! The fat on my abdomen was also completely unacceptable. It was ugly! <br /><br />That did it! I decided then and there that I had to take action. What immediately came to mind was your voice, Dr. Laura: "Eat less, move more." <br /><br />I began the following steps:<br /><br />1) Put smaller portions on my plate.<br /><br />2) STOPPED eating when I felt full. I realized at this time that I really never noticed when I was FULL. Rather, I noticed when I was STUFFED. My mother always insisted that I clean my plate when I was growing up, and I was still doing that. And going back for more if it was really good!<br /><br />3) Attended Jazzercise classes at least 3 times a week again (I had dropped my attendance to 1-2 times a week due to back pain from arthritis--hey, it was a good excuse). And I began walking a mile on my lunch break at work. So now, I was exercising 6 times a week.<br /><br />4) I also began weighing myself EVERY DAY. I used to do this before I got married, but once I moved in with my husband the scales were in the hall bath, and I didn't weigh for weeks on end. This has made a huge difference as when I was not weighing myself regularly, I would gain 5 pounds without realizing it, then another 5 pounds. It added up so quickly. When I weigh every day I can catch weight gain before it gets out of control and do something constructive about it, THAT VERY DAY.<br /><br />I have to say that this has been hard. The weight is coming off very slowly. I have lost about 2 pounds per month. BUT every 1/2 pound is a victory, and I celebrate with myself in the mirror. I have now lost 12 pounds and am back in my pre-marital pants! My husband is so proud of me and compliments my figure. I feel like myself again and have more energy. I am continuing my plan and want to lose a few more pounds still. I keep a short-term goal in my head, usually just about 1-2 pounds at a time, and make a new goal when I reach my current one. This makes it all very manageable and gives me lots more occasions to celebrate.<br /><br />Thanks for the simple message: "Eat less, move more"<br /><br />Linda<br />
Staff
2013-08-06T17:59:00Z
Clarity of What Love Is
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Clarity-of-What-Love-Is/-516320093687317802.html
2013-08-06T17:55:00Z
2013-08-06T17:55:00Z
<p> </p>
I came from an alcoholic, violent, and incestuous family. I am the youngest of 6 children - 4 girls/2 boys. We are all grown adults with grown children of our own. <br /><br />My sister (18 months older than me) has always been an angry bully to everyone, but especially to me. I always forgave her because besides being victimized myself, I witnessed what was done to her and felt great sympathy and protection. The final straw came this year when her husband, who I have known since childhood, propositioned me for sex...wanting to stay married to her and have sex with me. I refused and I told her about it. I even went with them to their marriage counselor where I expressed I felt like "the family whore" i.e. each sexual predator could come for me. Needless to say, she has once again kicked me out of her life, bonded to and protected her husband. My family knows the truth about what happened only to minimize and rationalize his behavior and hers. <br /><br />Listening to your show, I came to understand better how to set boundaries with people who don't love and respect me. I no longer feel I have to "understand and forgive" her or him or any of them. I can't continue to be an example to my daughter about self respect if I remain involved with these people. So I am living my life with a renewed sense of who I am, my self worth, and who truly gets to decide how my life will be.....and that is me.I don't always agree with you but you certainly challenge my thinking, which helps me clarify my values. Thank you. <br /><br />C.<br />
Staff
2013-08-06T17:55:00Z
Graduating a Child from Homeschooling
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Graduating-a-Child-from-Homeschooling/-727550140038476898.html
2013-08-05T18:28:00Z
2013-08-05T18:28:00Z
<p> </p>
I am 43 and my kids are 20, 19, 17 and 14. I have homeschooled them for 10 years and been married to the same man for 21 years. <br /><br />I thought you might enjoy this blog post from last year. It is about my experience of graduating my first child from homeschool and his flight out of "the nest". <br />
<blockquote>Crossing the Finish Line! <br /><br />I did not cry when my first bird flew out of the nest. <br /><br />On Tuesday morning, my first born boarded a plane to fly out of the nest. I anticipated many tears, but instead felt peace and happiness. <br /><br />As the day progressed, I had moments of sadness that he would not be at the dinner table with us, or goofing around with his sisters, but when sadness filled my heart, I purposed to be thankful. I realized that my journey had come to an end and I had crossed the finish line. <br /><br />As a homeschooler, I chose to give up "alone" time that most other moms look forward to each day from 9-3. Most of the time I am thankful and love having my kids home, but there are plenty of days when I wish for alone time!... <br /><br />Read the entire blog here (<a href="http://settingsofgold.blogspot.com/2012/08/reflections-of-homeschool-highschool.html" target="_blank">http://settingsofgold.blogspot.com/2012/08/reflections-of-homeschool-highschool.html</a>)</blockquote>
<br />To this day, he has volunteered hundreds of hours with a local police department, has worked really hard to help pay for his college, and is a sophomore at a very rigorous college in Virginia. He has aspired to be a judge since he was 5 years old and is working hard towards that goal. He is on the presidents list at school with a 3.88 GPA. He is not getting student loans and we, as a family are all working hard to help pay for his college. His sisters love him so much, they are working, cleaning houses WITH HIM in his own cleaning business so help pay for his college. They adore one another and I attribute their relationships, as siblings to the bonds of being home schooled together. <br /><br />This summer he is home from school and working at our local police department, as they requested he come work for them this summer, and he is also cleaning houses to make extra money to pay for his tuition this fall. <br /><br />Adrienne
Staff
2013-08-05T18:28:00Z
Teach and Guide from the Beginning
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teach-and-Guide-from-the-Beginning/737003384616485724.html
2013-08-05T18:23:00Z
2013-08-05T18:23:00Z
<p> </p>
WHEN do you start teaching that you are the parent and they are the child?? RIGHT AFTER BIRTH!<br /><br />Other than immediate needs; a wet diaper, a gas bubbly tummy that needs rubbed, hunger... A child can learn from day one that the world does not revolve around them.<br /><br />The level of patience and waiting required increases as their ages increase. Parents provide the choice of clothes to wear for the day. My daughter started this at a VERY young age with our grandchildren. They have two samples to choose from. I rarely recall an "I want.." and if it did occur, it was immediately corrected with a "May I please.."<br /><br />We never had screaming 2-year olds in a store, and now 30 years later we don't have screaming grandchildren in a store...<br /><br />I have said that the average American treats their child like a puppy, until it can walk and talk "it" just does as it pleases with no consequences and then at age 2 we wonder why they have bad ingrained habits and perspectives of entitlement?<br /><br />Your newborn baby is the biggest sponge you have ever seen, absorbing all you say and do via his/her eyes and ears, treat them like the human being they are, teach and guide them from the beginning and there will be no question who the parent or child is!<br /><br />A proud parent and granddad, <br /><br />O.
Staff
2013-08-05T18:23:00Z
Why Women Cheat
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Women-Cheat/435387764880978386.html
2013-08-02T18:01:00Z
2013-08-02T18:01:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I believe there are 2 combined reasons why women cheat.</p>
<p>The first is a mistaken idea of their self worth. I think there is something missing here. Years ago, when I was pregnant with my third child, my husband cheated on me with a married woman who had her own children. On top of that she was from our church and I had the mistaken idea she was a friend. At the time, I was baffled for a hundred reasons. These were some of them: Even pregnant, I was way more attractive than she, more organized, and more sensual and funny. I believe, with her warped little Jr. High level of maturity, she thought she would feel better about herself if she could take him from me and our children.</p>
<p>The second reason I think women cheat is plain old selfishness. That old "I want what I want, when I want it" attitude is promoted by a degrading society and is plain evil. Evil is ancient and designed to ruin us and our families, to make us all miserable.</p>
<p>I am grateful there is a God and a way to be lifted from this misery!</p>
<p>Thank you for your goodness and help for the last 20+ years. I'm not sure how many it has been. I just remember that my children were off doing something, I had a pile of ironing to do and I turned on the radio looking for something interesting to occupy my mind as I did this task. I kept turning the dial and heard some woman talking to a male who was putting himself through college by making porn. When I heard your response to him, I thought, "I love this woman, she spoke to him in such a manner that would elevate his character and turn him into a real man if he follows her advice....WHO IS SHE???" I managed to find out who you were and have learned so much from you, some of which has benefited my husband of 38 years, 4 children, daughters- and son-in-laws, and grandchildren. You have been quoted at my choir rehearsals as well.</p>
<p>I love you!!!</p>
<p>A.</p>
Staff
2013-08-02T18:01:00Z
Senior Drivers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Senior-Drivers/-559692830965566418.html
2013-08-02T18:00:00Z
2013-08-02T18:00:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>I heard all the rig-a-ma-roo about how to stop a senior with dementia from driving, but one does not have to go through a bunch of contacts, doctor, etc. My mother had beginning Alzheimer's. When she got in her first accident, I hand delivered a letter to the manager of the local DMV office, explaining that she was 100% at fault; she had dementia; and I felt she should not be driving. THEY TOOK CARE OF IT.</p>
<p>They sent her a letter asking for her to come in for a driving test. She misunderstood the letter, believing it to say that she could not drive. I took the letter and that was the end of it.</p>
<p>This way, my mother NEVER knew it was me; there was no strife between us and she had to stop driving. NO stress, no hassle.</p>
<p>Possibly I saved her life and maybe others. YES, it was more of a burden on ME, but after all, it was worth it.</p>
<p>Dolores</p>
Staff
2013-08-02T18:00:00Z
Keep Pushing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keep-Pushing/-249456479799227064.html
2013-08-02T17:45:00Z
2013-08-02T17:45:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>In listening to the call about the gambler who wanted an "easy fix," I agree with you 150%. People frequently want an easy way, forgetting that something worth having is not easy. I come from a ballet background. I started at the age of 6. I'm now retired from ballet and am 46 years old. I know you are not fond of kids in ballet, however it taught me to be disciplined and to push through even when it hurts, even when it's hard, even when....</p>
<p>In the words of the song "Try" from Pink; "Where there is desire there is gonna be a flame; where there is a flame someone's bound to get burned; just because it burns doesn't mean you're gonna die; you gotta get up and try, try, try.</p>
<p>Keep pushing us to push ourselves, Dr. Laura.</p>
<p>Lisa</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2013-08-02T17:45:00Z
You Don't Have to Keep Messing up Your Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Dont-Have-to-Keep-Messing-up-Your-Life/-194597958020197833.html
2013-08-01T18:01:00Z
2013-08-01T18:01:00Z
<p> </p>
Dear Dr Laura, <br /><br />In advance, I apologize for my English, I'm from Germany. I just read your book, <em>Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess up Their Lives</em>. I completely understood what you were saying, because it's true! <br /><br />I have a lot of female friends who are always saying: I was treated badly so everything has worked out as it worked out. But if you were treated badly, why are you making it worse- NOW? <br /><br />And I have asked myself the same question. I was abused by my father until I was 14, as was my sister. And my mother was a furious person. In short: not the best life you could have as a child... <br /><br />But now- what can I do to make it better? <br /><br />I hated myself for a long time, my body, my speech, all. I wanted to stop all these feelings inside me. I had bad relationships with other women and men. This is my life, so I thought, but I need to do something! And one woman told me: "I think you want to be hated and you want to hate yourself. The question is: why?" <br /><br />And that's it: why? Because life can be so much better! <br /><br />There is so much you can be fighting for. The stupidest choice is to make your life worse. <br /><br />And so I started therapy and I talked to a lot of people. I left home at 16 and have no contact to my family. That's one of the best choices I've made. Now I have my own home, my own place. I'm studying and work a lot. I have my dreams. I want to work for an organization in the education sector after my studies are completed. If that doesn't work, I will study again and become an engineer. And why not? Yes! I will do that. <br /><br />And I will get rid of my father and what he has done by living my life, by saying no to violence- no matter what. I talk with other women and we are making petitions. We are fighting against hate, violence and anger and that's the best. There are so many brave women in this world- believe me! And I know the feeling of hopelessness and hate against myself- but I do not want to live that way. I want to make it better! I dream of a better life- for me and my friends and for all women and men. <br /><br />And why not go for it? <br /><br />Furthermore, I just wanted to scream when my friend told me that her boyfriend is a complete a-hole, (I just translated what she said). The she goes on to ask, "And what can I do to make the relationship work?" <br /><br />Oh yeah, well... This relationship really has a chance, doesn’t' it? Wonderful. <br /><br />My best friend had an relationship full of violence and she told herself she needed that. Could you believe that? She needs violence. Wonderful, that's the best thing I've ever heard. An intelligent woman, a strong woman is telling me she needs violence...? <br /><br />There are too many women who think that way. We can choose different. We can be different. We CAN! WE CAN! WE CAN! <br /><br />S.<br />
Staff
2013-08-01T18:01:00Z
Love and French Fries
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Love-and-French-Fries/-879133065213572150.html
2013-08-01T18:00:00Z
2013-08-01T18:00:00Z
<p> </p>
After years of listening to you I always knew I had a husband who would "walk on burning, hot coals to bring me lemonade." I just had to share this story with you... <br /><br />My husband is training for his first Iron Man triathlon. Last night, he grilled up some hamburgers before going out on a two hour bike/run so they would be ready for us to enjoy the minute he walked in from his workout. <br /><br />I walked downstairs and smelling the hamburgers, I jokingly said, "I'd like a cheese burger and French fries please!" Our house smelled just like a yummy restaurant. He finished up, left for his workout and I went on with my evening. <br /><br />Fast forward to two-and-a-half hours later, my husband walks in the door dripping sweat and tosses a bag of fries on the counter. Surprised I said, "What's that?" His reply? "You said you wanted French fries!" <br /><br />The man had literally ran to McDonald's, bought me French fries and with them in hand, ran back home almost two miles. <br /><br />A lot of men I know wouldn't make a special trip anywhere without being asked to surprise their wife with a special treat, let alone RUN there. <br /><br />I've got a winner folks! <br /><br />Thanks for everything Dr. Laura. <br /><br />Annie<br />
Staff
2013-08-01T18:00:00Z
They Were Listening!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/They-Were-Listening!/640854501981858427.html
2013-07-31T18:01:00Z
2013-07-31T18:01:00Z
<p> </p>
I am a proud Mommy! My college age girls, 21 and almost 20, did me proud. It wasn't easy after the divorce from their dad, but we managed with God at our side. <br /><br />With different set of values, their first dad and I could no longer work it out. Recently, their first dad (who is still very much involved in their lives) told our daughters that in order to get ahead in life, you have to lie. When the girls balked at what their dad had just said, he told them "You're just too young to know better". <br /><br />Those wonderful young ladies immediately told him, "There is no way God will bless you, if you go through life lying to get ahead." Respectfully, they stood up to him and told him there was no way they would allow him to lie for them for any amount money or life advancements. They described it as something was jumping around inside of them while he was feeding them this garbage. When they told him, No," their insides settled down. Of course, he was mad as heck at their defiance, but they stood their grounds.<br /><br />While our daughters were telling their second dad what transpired, he was hopping mad and fit to be tied. However, he realized the girls had it under control and they knew the right thing to do. We were beaming from their good judgment. <br /><br />All we can say is, "Keep on doing what is right with your children even if you aren't sure they are listening, because, trust me, they are internalizing everything...good or bad." As parents we are the role models and we should act accordingly.<br /><br />Thank you for this platform.<br /><br />Beaming Mom who thanks God for those two precious gifts.<br />
Staff
2013-07-31T18:01:00Z
Think Before You Post
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Think-Before-You-Post/459254387035343003.html
2013-07-31T18:00:00Z
2013-07-31T18:00:00Z
<p> </p>
I have a good friend who's a hiring manager for a local Cadillac dealership. They were recently looking for someone to fill the cashier position in the front office. That's a high profile position because almost ALL the customers come directly into contact with this person at some point. Obviously a requirement is this person present a very professional image. Well, my friend had found the perfect candidate, and had actually made an offer pending a couple of checks. One of the things she checked was the candidate's Facebook and Myspace pages. What she found was that the girl was a heavy partier, with pictures of her in various stages of undress and totally sloshed, and bragging about it. The offer was immediately rescinded, and the candidate was told that her Internet image was in direct conflict with the image that a high end Cadillac dealership wishes to present to the public. <br /><br />In short, juvenile partying posts wrecked the job op for this young woman. Pity. Now my friend checks the Internet before even bringing anyone in for an interview. <br /><br />Martha<br />
Staff
2013-07-31T18:00:00Z
Stop Making Excuses!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stop-Making-Excuses!/-428641150155204540.html
2013-07-30T20:11:00Z
2013-07-30T20:11:00Z
<p> </p>
Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I wanted to commend you on your comments to a person who called in recently. I didn't hear the whole call, but basically it sounded like there was an office weight-loss program going on and she was struggling. You told her to just quit whining and eat less and move more. <br /><br />I was listening in my car so I couldn't really rejoice or celebrate your words, but I was just beaming! I have worked in the fitness industry for 25+ years and have heard all the excuses. I have even worked in military fitness and you would be surprised at the amount of our military who are "unfit" and expect our government to keep paying their salaries even though they can't pass a simple PT test. I train and educate people everyday about eating healthy, unprocessed food and moving a little bit and they continue to say the usual: "I don't have time. I don't like vegetables. I don't like this or that…" STOP!!! I, like you, exercise several times a week, hard, have a full life with two active teenagers, a wonderful husband and a dog. I have managed my weight with healthy eating and exercise my whole life. And even with drama and stress, I do not allow that to stop me from being healthy for me or my family. <br /><br />People need to stop crying about it and move on. I now understand that weight loss is a "head game". It isn't about the donut or cookies, it is about people feeling sorry for themselves and making excuses. It drives me insane. So much so that now, I just "get real" with people and tell them to stop making excuses. We can set goals, I can write workouts, but the bottom line is if they aren't willing to stop with the excuses it won't work. So thank you, Dr. Laura, for your continued tough love approach to exercise and healthy eating! I think you rock - now go do some pushups! <br /><br />Lisa <br />
Staff
2013-07-30T20:11:00Z
Will Dad Drink All of It?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Will-Dad-Drink-All-of-It/376761809235245444.html
2013-07-30T20:02:00Z
2013-07-30T20:02:00Z
<p> </p>
Your blog titled, "<a href="/b/My-Toddler-Wont-Share/385520626042937831.html" target="_blank">My Toddler Won't Share</a>" reminded me of a really cute daughter story. My daughter was around 5 and we were working with her on sharing. She was such a pleaser that it was often more of an exercise in not sharing too much. She was sitting on the couch by me, her dad, watching the Disney cartoon version of Cinderella for the 400 millionth time, sipping on a can of Grape Crush pop - her mom's favorite. I asked if I could have a sip. Please understand that this little girl was used to seeing me come home, empty two cans of Mt. Dew into a big glass of ice and down that thing in about 15 seconds. Then I'd fill it up again and drink like a normal human. (I shudder to think of this today.) <br /><br />My daughter got a very sad and worried look on her face, looked at her pop, looked at Dad, looked at the pop and back to Dad and in a very small, concerned and pathetic voice said, "OK, but just a little one." I was so touched (ashamed?) that I could barley touch it to my lips. I do not think that I even got a drop. She was soooo relieved and gave Dad a big kiss on the cheek. Sometimes, we get to be heroes when we least expect it - or perhaps even deserve it. <br /><br />Thank you for all you do, Dr. Laura. I love your show. <br /><br />Michael<br />
Staff
2013-07-30T20:02:00Z
Book of Treasures
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Book-of-Treasures/23347881007367635.html
2013-07-29T18:01:00Z
2013-07-29T18:01:00Z
<p> </p>
My husband's parents have 10 children, and they have the best system I've ever heard of for "divvying out" their possessions and inheritance.<br /><br />First, they maintain a "Book of Our Treasures" which contains pictures of their most treasured possessions - and not necessarily only highly-priced items, but even simple things of sentimental value. It is like a very large photo album, but with a paper sheet beside each photo. The story or history of each item is included with its photo, so that we all know WHY they consider it a 'treasure'. It was exciting to find handmade gifts I had given them in their Book of Treasures! <br /><br />The book is brought to our annual family reunions, and family members are invited to write their name beside the items they are most interested in receiving someday, after the parents pass away. There is even a section of items that are intended for children, where the grandkids and great-grands can write their names! In some cases there are many names next to an item. It is understood by all of us that some day the parents will decide who will receive each item, whether by drawing or by their choice. <br /><br />This is the fun part for the parents: They have already begun gifting some of the items to family members! As they feel ready to part with things, they bring them to the winners of the drawings or the child they chose, in person. This way, they get to enjoy the recipient's excitement while they are still living. The winner is highlighted in the Book of Treasures so that everyone knows who the new keeper of the Treasure is! <br /><br />It's very fun for the whole family, as we all maintain that the attitude that nothing in the book belongs to us, anyway, and it's all bonus IF we happen to win it. The parents try to be very fair in their decisions about who will receive which items, likely maintaining a separate master list of their children and which items they will receive - with 10 kids you would have to!<br /><br />It's also really fun for ME to see that other family members are interested in owning the things I had made for my in-laws.<br /><br />The second thing I really like is that they have set aside extra funds that they know they won't need at this point, divided it evenly between the ten kids, and surprised us with monetary gifts while they are living.<br /><br />These wise Mormon parents are planning ahead to avoid problems between their children in the future. They are wise and loving people who have blessed our lives in ways we will probably appreciate even more as time goes by.<br /><br />Sadly, Mom passed away from cancer, but her legacy of love for her family remains strong. And each of us has little mementos to remind us of her every day.<br /><br />Glenda
Staff
2013-07-29T18:01:00Z
The Power of Grandmothers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Power-of-Grandmothers/721132594234939504.html
2013-07-29T18:00:00Z
2013-07-29T18:00:00Z
<p> </p>
Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />You always ask, "Why be a man's unpaid whore?" Well, my grandmother had another way of saying the same thing. She said, "A man will never buy the cow, if he can get the milk for free."<br /><br />How I hated that when I was growing up! <br /><br />But I guess I listened because my husband and I are celebrating our thirtieth anniversary this November. A lot of water has passed under THAT bridge, but we're still together, still facing life together as a partnership.<br /><br />Note that none of our cohabitating friends from 30 years ago are still together. <br /><br />My grandmother always asked me when I was dating...Is this man GOOD ENOUGH to be the FATHER of your children? A lot of my dates FAILED miserably in that category. But, thankfully, I found a good man who's been a fabulous father to our two kids.<br /><br />I will always be grateful that I had a wise grandmother. <br /><br />Love your work!<br /><br />Frances
Staff
2013-07-29T18:00:00Z
I Used to Be a Great Lawyer
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Used-to-Be-a-Great-Lawyer/232586215299512809.html
2013-07-26T18:01:00Z
2013-07-26T18:01:00Z
<p> </p>
You cannot be great at many things. In my profession, we have a saying that the study of the law is a jealous mistress and will tolerate no other... Before my daughter was born I worked at being a great lawyer. It consumed my every waking moment. My wife went back to work a week after our daughter was born, and thus began my journey to today. <br /><br />Today, I have custody of her half of the time. Her mom filed for divorce when my daughter was 15 months... She was enrolled in day care by her mom. I quit work during the weeks I had her. And during the first 6 years of her life, I stayed home, changing my schedule to accommodate her. I also spent every vacation with her, going on untold adventures during my time with her. She and I are inseparable... I spent more time with her during the first 4 years of her life than my father spent with me in my entire life...<br /><br />Now I am a good lawyer... But I am a great dad. When it comes to being a dad or being a lawyer - Dad always wins. Gone are the new cars, private planes, and unlimited spending... She has a constant teacher, playmate, instructor, protector, adventurer, guardian, and role model. I accommodate her mom as much as I can, speaking positively of her whenever possible... I never speak negatively in front of my daughter. I am sad every time she's gone. Her presence brings life to the house and meaning to my life. As I listen to your show, I am always amazed at women (and some men) who voluntarily give up time with their children. There is no sacrifice I wouldn't make for her, for time with her, just to hear her sing as she talks to her dolls. When I was a child, I made silly sounds to amuse myself, only to be chastised for doing so. She does the same and I revel in her voice.<br /><br />We have limited control on the world around us, but to our children we can create adventures, tell stories, read books, wake them up with songs, spend hours listening to them talk about their world and help them explore it.<br /><br />I used to be a great lawyer - Now I'm a great dad. Until my last breath, I will be her protector, guardian, teacher, adventurer, and Dad. She is the reason and meaning for my life.<br /><br />William <br />
Staff
2013-07-26T18:01:00Z
If Dad Died Tomorrow
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/If-Dad-Died-Tomorrow/-428492690510470013.html
2013-07-26T18:00:00Z
2013-07-26T18:00:00Z
<p> </p>
Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I love your show and I listen to it ALL the time, often with my wife and three daughters in the car. My daughters are now 16, 13 and 12. When my middle child was 9 she said to me: "Dad, why do you always listen to Dr. Laura? Those are other people's problems and not our problems." After I laughed, I said: "That's why I listen to Dr. Laura, so they won't be our problems." <br /><br />At bedtime, I hug each of my kids "good night." Tonight, as I was doing this, my youngest daughter said, "I love you, Dad." Then I went to my middle child's room and she said, "Good night, Dad." As I walked away, I said, "I love you." Silence. My youngest said to my middle child: "Where's the 'I love you'? Don't you know if Dad died tomorrow you'd regret not saying 'I love you'? Don't you listen to Dr. Laura?" Then, from my middle daughter's bedroom came the best and most heart-felt "I love you" you could ever imagine. <br /><br />I came downstairs beaming and told my wife. She said, "You know she loves you so much, but it's not in her nature to show it." "I know," I said, "but Dr. Laura changed that!" And we had a good laugh. <br /><br />Thanks for all you do. <br /><br />Love, <br /><br />The C. Family
Staff
2013-07-26T18:00:00Z
A Random Act of Kindness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Random-Act-of-Kindness/-545738066187434524.html
2013-07-25T18:01:00Z
2013-07-25T18:01:00Z
<p> </p>
Dear Dr. Laura<br /><br />While in Las Vegas at a hotel slot tournament, there was a couple sitting together playing. The wife suddenly became ill. She jumped up and started to walk/run to the ladies' room with Diarrhea running out of her white walking shorts onto the carpet. As the kids say OMG.... <br /><br />Well, she ran by me a nurse and I took off running behind her. She locked herself in a stall and I came in yelling, "Where are you?" In a low scared voice she said, "Are you looking for the poop lady?" I laughed and said, "YES!" I told her I was a nurse and that I would stay with her until she was cleaned up and dressed in new clothes. <br /><br />I sent my daughter to get her husband. My daughter returned without him, relaying the message, "She'll have to wait until I'm done playing." That turned out to be another fifteen minutes. No problem. I called the staff to get the carpet cleaned up and closed the ladies' room to the public. <br /><br />I then got supplies from a closet over the objections of a male worker who started yelling at me. I yelled back at him that I had a patient in the ladies' room. I took 20 towels, a box of gloves, some soap and paper towels. <br /><br />So LONG story short, her husband came and I asked him to bring a clean set of clothes and shoes. She had me double bag her old clothes and toss them in the trash. As we waited, I gave her some perfume to brighten her day. <br /><br />After changing her clothes, she gave me a big hug and both of our eyes are filled with tears as she said, "I got in the stall and said GOD who are you going to send because I can't leave here?" We just laughed and hugged again. I shared my story with her of being a 55-year-old nurse and not being able to find work. She said, "Oh GOD sees and knows your heart. Notice how no one else came to help? God is with you."<br /><br />As she left with her husband, she told me enjoy my stay and to look in the side pocket of my purse. As I searched for my family, I reached into my side pocket and there was a new one hundred dollar bill.<br /><br />I smiled and said, "Thank You, GOD!"<br /><br />I told my 22-year-old daughter this incident is why you marry your best friend.<br /><br />Love all you DO!<br /><br />Always, <br /><br />Nurse Pam
Staff
2013-07-25T18:01:00Z
What Mommies Are For
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Mommies-Are-For/952041453872783699.html
2013-07-25T18:00:00Z
2013-07-25T18:00:00Z
<p> </p>
I just have to share this with you, Dr. Laura. <br /><br />I am a very lucky stay-at-home mommy to three great kids. Our third little one was just born, a baby boy. Recently, I was getting my oldest son, who is 5, ready for bed. He asked me why you need a mommy and a daddy to have a baby. I thought we were going to go over the technical details again. Before I could respond he quickly said, "I know! You need both because the daddy goes to work to take care of the family, so the mommy can stay home and play with the babies all day." I told him, "That is right, honey!"<br /><br />What greater confirmation does a mom need? I am lucky to hear it directly from my son that I matter very, very much! Thank you for what you do Dr Laura!<br /><br />Erin
Staff
2013-07-25T18:00:00Z
Choosing Not to Have a Child
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Choosing-Not-to-Have-a-Child/-378077436968550775.html
2013-07-24T18:32:00Z
2013-07-24T18:32:00Z
<p> </p>
Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I write you today with an extremely heavy heart. My husband and I made the decision the other day that as things stand we are choosing not to have children. I have a few more years where if our situation changes, I can, but I'm working on letting go of this huge dream of mine so I can move on. <br /><br />The reason for this is our finances. We both waited a pretty long time to get married yet while I had no student loans or credit cards, he did and we didn't get them cleared up before marriage. We did manage to pay cash for half of our wedding and had no parental assistance on either side. The other $3,500 is being paid off now. Our debt is killing us and we're doing all we can to clear it all up and not incur any more. My job situation has been very unstable and I'm struggling to find anything suitable in this economy. I'm currently working contract and looking for permanent employment. I want to go to school for medical billing so I can work at home and raise children but there's no money for that in the foreseeable future.<br /><br />While we were dating, my husband agreed with me that I would be at home with the children and there was no other option. This was before his sister had her child who is shuffled between a sitter, a family friend and her grandmother. Now my husband thinks his mom should retire and raise all of her grandchildren. I am vehemently against this, not only because my mother-in-law is not in good physical condition and would be physically unable to assist a child in an emergency situation, but also because she raised her own children and should not be expected to raise her children's children. And most important -- because it's not me -- the mommy! <br /><br />After having been raised by my mom and listening to you for years, I made the decision long ago that if I couldn't be my kids' mom, I wouldn't be a mom. I never thought it would come to this and I guess things could change over the next couple of years, but as it stands, I will not have children. <br /><br />My husband doesn't "get it". But since I've put my foot down, he's not fighting me on it. I'm beyond heartbroken, I want to be a mother so badly and I will continue to work toward being able to have them, but not at the cost of having someone else raise them. Thank you for instilling this in me. If it weren't for you, I would have caved to every other woman who tells me I'm ridiculous! <br /><br />Keep cheering us on, those who are their kids' moms and those who've chosen not to have children unless they can be their kids' moms really need your support!<br /><br />-Sad But Determined<br />
Staff
2013-07-24T18:32:00Z
Entertainment?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Entertainment/520234647945349882.html
2013-07-24T18:26:00Z
2013-07-24T18:26:00Z
<p> </p>
Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have only been listening to you for about 7 months, but you have already made a substantial impact on my way of thinking about situations and issues that arise for me as a mom, wife, daughter, friend, and probably most importantly, how I view myself. You have given me clarity and strength in areas that I previously had none. I listen closely to advice that you give callers to your program, and think about how I can apply your advice to me. I listen when I’m washing the dishes, doing the laundry, cleaning the house, going to pick the kids up from school, etc. <br /><br />I sometimes laugh, sometimes cry, sometimes dance, sometimes say in my head, “What the what!?” Sometimes, Dr. Laura, when I really relate to a caller and you go in deep, and pull out thoughts and emotions and truths that they haven’t even admitted to themselves, my body stops whatever I’m doing, and I just listen. I feel like my stomach and heart are both racing up to my throat, and I just listen. <br /><br />I am in awe of your sensitivity, intuitiveness, professionalism, and ability to go straight to the root of a problem. I don’t know how you can go from a gut-wrenchingly hard call right on to the next caller, while I’m still standing there in the middle of the kitchen sobbing and reeling. <br /><br />Bottom line, Dr. Laura, is that ever since I found you on SirusXM radio and started listening to your program, I have wondered why it is classified as entertainment. Who thinks that what you do is entertainment? I just don’t get it. You change people’s lives daily. You make a difference. If more people listened to your advice, the world would be a better place. Thank you for being there for me and making me a better person. <br /><br />All my Best Regards, <br /><br />Tanya<br />
Staff
2013-07-24T18:26:00Z
Whistle Blowing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Whistle-Blowing/-826704534433925193.html
2013-07-23T18:01:00Z
2013-07-23T18:01:00Z
<p> </p>
Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I just heard a caller who worked with a nasty bully for 25 years and HR has not taken care of the problem. I hope to God she follows your advice--the reasons you gave her for getting an attorney immediately and to NOT talk to anyone about anything without the attorney because they will probably hurt HER and/or fire HER, were spot on. <br /><br />You could have been describing my exact situation. I didn't get an attorney and never in a million years thought I needed to because I believed them when they told me they were doing everything possible to fix the situation--all the while they were trying to cover themselves. They ended up lying to the company they contracted with (I worked at the company onsite, they were in another state) in order to get their approval to fire us both. <br /><br />Thankfully, I was well liked and a hard worker, who had many, many contacts and friends who stood up for me and went to upper management. I gave my consent for them to reactivate my email account and read all my correspondence with my offsite managers so that I could prove I wasn't the problem. <br /><br />The company has created a position for me as an employee of theirs (not the contracted company that fired me) and I am now in the hiring process. Meanwhile, they have put me to work as an independent contractor, temporarily until the process is complete.<br /><br />I can't stress enough, how RIGHT you are in advising people that HR is NOT there for you the employee, they are there to cover the company, whether the company is right or wrong. Live and learn!<br /><br />Most sincerely,<br /><br />Maria
Staff
2013-07-23T18:01:00Z
Vengeance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Vengeance/967654680063540872.html
2013-07-23T18:00:00Z
2013-07-23T18:00:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Today, I was stewing in pity for myself regarding an unfair situation at work. Everything inside of me screamed that I was being betrayed and not being treated fairly. I wanted REVENGE! As I tuned into your show I was floored when the first thing you said was that you would be discussing "vengeance". It couldn’t have been better timing. It was exactly what I needed to hear.</p>
<p>I’ve listened to your show on and off for several years, and recently you have been a staple companion on my lunch break. Through listening to your strong words and good advice, I’ve been able to ‘dig deep’ and get the courage to stand up for myself in many situations that I would not have otherwise done.</p>
<p>Regarding my work situation, I will be seeking legal counsel. However, as I’ve had time to reflect, I realize the very reason that I want revenge is because I was hurt. What I truly want is an apology. I want my employers to feel bad about how they treated me. I realize I am never going to get an apology, and they will likely never feel bad. I have concluded that the biggest "revenge" is moving on with my own life and not wasting any more energy or anger on those who wronged me.</p>
<p>Thank you for giving me that courage. </p>
<p>Melissa</p>
Staff
2013-07-23T18:00:00Z
Women Are Fooling Themselves
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Women-Are-Fooling-Themselves/-350457384763930871.html
2013-07-22T18:01:00Z
2013-07-22T18:01:00Z
<p> </p>
Dr. Laura - <br /><br />You are the best ever. You are at your finest when you tell many dumb women that they are fools for shacking up with their "wonderful" boyfriends. To me, this is a tragedy for these stupid women who are doing nothing, but making the men's lives way too easy. For a man in the situation, there is no obligation morally or financially - what a great situation. <br /><br />As a teacher I see children whose parents never married. As you know, this is not good. The men are usually long gone and the women are left to do the child rearing alone. I do not understand why any woman would live with a man without marriage. They are too stupid for words and are only fooling themselves. The man will do what men usually do - move on sooner or later. <br /><br />You are so right when you tell a woman that a man should get down on one knee and ask her to marry him then be prepared to lay down his life for her - of course, I am paraphrasing. But, women fool themselves into thinking they need to shack-up for a "trial run" to make sure they are compatible. To those of us who have been married, this is delusional thinking and complete BS. Those men are smarter than they look and superb at deceiving well-meaning women. <br /><br />Your father was correct - a man will rise to the expectations a woman places on him - again, paraphrasing. <br /><br />Many thanks, <br /><br />Janet<br />
Staff
2013-07-22T18:01:00Z
Men Protecting Women
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Men-Protecting-Women/-68591107525815631.html
2013-07-22T18:00:00Z
2013-07-22T18:00:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I'm seventy years old, Vietnam Veteran, twenty eight years a fighter pilot. I got to travel extensively with the military, to every state in the Union and almost every continent on the world. My second career as a high school physics teacher. Now I am retired, working on a family farm. I've got a BS in physics, MS Personnel Mgt., Graduate of Air Command and Staff College plus several other military schools. My wife, whom I love with all my heart, and I have five children, 18 grandchildren, and four great-grandchildren. Please understand I am not bragging, I feel I am very blessed. God has blessed me far beyond my abilities or intelligence. I feel I am really just an average guy; however, I also feel I have been exposed to more information than most.</p>
<p>I was listening to your program when you were talking about men paying the bill when on a date. I believe women and men are different, really different, more than just the plumbing. However, I feel that we compliment each other. We support each other. My wife has skills and strengths that I do not and I have skills and strengths she does not. Together we make a whole. We are incomplete without each other.</p>
<p>Most of us have seen the movie "Titanic" which is a great story of love and sacrifice. There is a scene that, in my opinion, exemplifies the stark distinction between the roles of men and women.</p>
<p>You might remember the scene where Jack is in the icy water clinging to the side of a large door while Rose is lying on top of the door out of the water. Jack, of course, is in the water because the door is not sufficiently buoyant to hold both of them out of the water. There are several romantic and poignant verbal exchanges before Jack slips slowly into the icy depths. It's a very heart-wrecking scene. People probably experience a multitude of emotions. It is very sad for Jack, but also at this point he becomes somewhat of a hero. No one of course feels any ill feelings for or about Rose.</p>
<p>Let's change the scene. Visualize Rose in the icy waters clinging to the door and Jack on top of the door. Once again there are several romantic verbal exchanges at the end of which Rose slips slowly into the depths. How would you feel about Jack? I would maintain there would be more than ill feelings. I dare say there would be verbal abuse. I would suggest that if this scene were used the movie would have failed miserably at the box office.</p>
<p>Monty</p>
Staff
2013-07-22T18:00:00Z
If You're Going to Have Them, Raise Them
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/If-Youre-Going-to-Have-Them,-Raise-Them/-932050590566228041.html
2013-07-19T17:17:00Z
2013-07-19T17:17:00Z
<p> </p>
Dr. Laura,<br /><br />In our area, a local newscaster had a baby girl about eight weeks ago. She is now back at work. What gets me, is she has been posting on Facebook how hard it is for her to leave her little girl. Out of the hundreds of comments, there was only one that I have seen which even touched on how important she is to her baby and how she should be the one raising her child. Almost every comment from the women who wrote to her said things like this:<br /><br />"She will be fine and not even know you are gone."<br />Yes, she will be fine, but yes, she will miss you and all you have to give her. Babies miss their mothers but learn not to. Is that what women want?<br /><br />"I feel sorry for you when people keep asking you on camera if you're ok.... When I returned I told no one to bring it up, otherwise I would cry. Lol"<br />LOL? Are you kidding me? It's not funny and if you are crying that is telling you something. You are not where you should be.<br /><br />"Totally understand. I worked literally until the day my kids were born and back to work when they were 6 weeks old! She will be wonderful!"<br />Now this is something to be proud of-leaving your babies at six weeks? Is work more important than your babies? Yes, her baby might be wonderful as all babies are, but she needs her mommy too, more than women want to admit when they go back to work.<br /><br />"It is hard, Mama. I will not lie. But it will get easier in time. I promise. She will get used to you being gone and you will find you are glad to be away and not being brain dead at home."<br />Yes, it is hard. I am glad that mom told the truth there. And I guess it does get easier, but boy do you really want her to get used to not having her mother there for her? Do you really want to be glad you are not home? And I think there are millions of women who would be insulted about the brain dead comment. Mothers are raising little people and that takes lots of brain cells. <br /><br />"Stay at home with your baby. Nothing is more important to her than you and nothing should be more important to you than her. You can work part time when she is older but take this time to be a mommy or why else did you have her?"<br />This was the only comment out of hundreds other than mine that said anything about her being home with her baby.<br /><br />And these were just a few of the comments. <br /><br />I guess this was an example of concrete proof of how women are "trained" to ignore their feelings and to put work before baby. I can only imagine the choices women would make if they were exposed to more of you, Dr. Laura, and less of a society that puts so little value on them being home with the miracle they created.<br />Thanks for letting me vent!<br /><br />Beverly
Staff
2013-07-19T17:17:00Z
Sacrificing for Others
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sacrificing-for-Others/195052767505939325.html
2013-07-19T17:09:00Z
2013-07-19T17:09:00Z
<p> </p>
In my opinion, a hero is someone who gives or does for others in spite of the discomfort, pain, loss or potential loss to themselves.<br /><br />My father was a Little League coach for years while my brothers played ball. I often tagged along even though I was too young to play. And my mom was always out having "girl" time anyway.<br /><br />While he was coaching, I aggravated my dad to no end until he would always give in and give me a dollar for the concession stand. In the early '70's, a buck would buy French fries, a Pepsi and a Blow Pop. This give and take between me and my dad went on for a few years, and always ended in the same way. And I still remember how good those fries were!<br /><br />I found out much later in life that Mom managed the household finances. And even though, Dad took his lunch from home in an old black lunchbox, he was given $1.00 a day to buy a Pepsi and a candy bar for his afternoon break. My father tucked that dollar away each and every day in order to give it to me at the baseball games at night.<br /><br />That is a Hero.<br /><br />As a divorced father raising 3 kids on my own for the last 9 years, I have had to sacrifice sleep, hobbies, lunch money and a social life in order to see that my kids have as normal and fulfilled life as possible.<br /><br />In one sense, I think I am a hero...In another sense, I think I am just doing what my dad would have done.<br /><br />Charles
Staff
2013-07-19T17:09:00Z
No Inheritance, But I Got a MAN
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-Inheritance,-But-I-Got-a-MAN/-574129170172295931.html
2013-07-18T18:22:00Z
2013-07-18T18:22:00Z
<p> </p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1374170407854_2760" class="yiv2007357235MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1374170407854_2802">Dr. Laura,</span> </p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1374170407854_2758" class="yiv2007357235MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1374170407854_2757">Speaking from my own experience regarding inheritance, in most cases you are better off leaving it to charity!</span> </p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1374170407854_2799" class="yiv2007357235MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1374170407854_2798">My husband's parents left everything to his two sisters, both alcoholics. The final straw for his parents to do this was that he did not marry the woman they picked for him. They left him out because he decided to become his own man and make his own decisions - Decisions which were best for his own family. Trust me, it took a long time for that to happen and we struggled tremendously, but having the responsibility of being the sole provider of our family put the MAN genes right where they belonged. When those MAN genes finally kicked in, so did his determination to become a great husband and father.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1374170407854_2797" class="yiv2007357235MsoPlainText">His sisters might think he was left with nothing but really, Dr. Laura, his parents ended up leaving him everything that’s important in life. When they passed away they took that little boy with them and gave his family the man we needed. He is the most dedicated, loving, hardworking man I know! And... he’s all mine :</p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1374170407854_2804" class="yiv2007357235MsoPlainText">Thanks for keeping us on the right "life" track,</p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1374170407854_2807" class="yiv2007357235MsoPlainText"><br />Angela</p>
<p class="yiv2007357235MsoPlainText"><br />PS. Just so you know…My husband is the brother WE all dream of having. His one sister died of alcoholism at 55 and his surviving sister suffers from depression. Even though she has $$$$ and lives in the wealthiest area of San Diego for some reason it’s just not enough.</p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1374170407854_2651" class="yiv2007357235MsoPlainText"> </p>
Staff
2013-07-18T18:22:00Z
Clothes Affect Your Attitude
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Clothes-Affect-Your-Attitude/692026657309002692.html
2013-07-18T18:15:00Z
2013-07-18T18:15:00Z
<p> </p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1374170407854_2651" class="yiv2007357235MsoPlainText"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1374170407854_2753">Hi Dr. Laura,</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1374170407854_2650" class="yiv2007357235MsoPlainText">I would like to thank you for your opening commentary on tips to improve your workday - in particular the tip regarding wearing crappy clothes at work. I work in a medical office and for the past several months we have been made to wear terribly ugly polyester royal blue shirts. My coworker and I have often discussed how being made to wear these ugly shirts was having an effect on our self esteem and how coming to the office each day wearing the same thing was getting depressing. Mind you, we both like our jobs.</p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1374170407854_2708" class="yiv2007357235MsoPlainText">After I heard you mention how wearing crappy clothes can affect your mood, I told my coworker who then mentioned it to our office manager. The ban was lifted! I am now happily typing this to you in a skirt and heels and feeling fantastic.</p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1374170407854_2756" class="yiv2007357235MsoPlainText">Thank you to my coworker for being a great listener and advocate for our team at the office and thank you, Dr. Laura, for the affirmation of how we were feeling. You were so right!</p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1374170407854_2769" class="yiv2007357235MsoPlainText">Sarah</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2013-07-18T18:15:00Z
Taking Things for Granted
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-Things-for-Granted/-480092240272715085.html
2013-07-17T19:45:00Z
2013-07-17T19:45:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura: <br /><br />A recent tragedy has struck my family at our core, and if I may, please allow me to teach your listeners something I have learned. <br /><br />My husband of 24 years passed away from a brief illness in May. He left me with three amazing gifts; a 14-year-old daughter, a 5 year-old daughter; and a 3 year-old son. Our children are everything to me, and because of them I get up every day, go to work, and try to provide for them the best that I can. <br /><br />More than anything I want to convey to your listeners - never take anything for granted. Never talk bad about your spouse; after all you married him/her. Love deeply; take those extra minutes in the morning or at night to hug and to be hugged by your spouse. Intimacy is everything. Give 60% to the marriage, and only expect 40% and you will be well on your way to success. Go to them in times of trouble, not your mom or dad, not your siblings, not your friends; go to him or her. Lean on them. <br /><br />If I could wish anything for your listeners, it’s that they find the love that I once had; kind, patient, loving, caring, strong, never wavering. <br /><br />My life now is completely changed in every single possible way. <br /><br />Blessings to all, <br /><br />Jennifer</p>
Staff
2013-07-17T19:45:00Z
Waiting for an Apology I'll Never Get
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Waiting-for-an-Apology-Ill-Never-Get/-286017869717723005.html
2013-07-17T19:39:00Z
2013-07-17T19:39:00Z
<p><br />I want to thank you for your latest video; <a href="/b/Video:-I-Want-a-Mommy/958158371881219465.html" target="_blank">I Want a Mommy</a>. Your message really hit home for me and gave me a true "ah-ha" moment when I realized that I NEVER BONDED with my mother. I am nearing my 60th birthday and have been carrying anger, resentment and sadness in my heart toward her for all of my life. It continues 17 years after her death. I wanted a mommy and she wasn't one, at all. <br /><br />My mother got pregnant with me at age 16 and I was born in an unwed mother's home a few weeks after she turned 17. I was adopted by a young couple and stayed with them until my teenage birth mother changed her mind prior to the adoption being finalized. I was removed from the care of my adoptive mother who I had been with since BIRTH, and returned to a confused, unmarried and sexually active teenager. In no time, she became pregnant with a second child and the father was not involved. Out of desperation, she met and married a man, 25 years her senior while she was pregnant with that second child. Three more children would be born during the marriage, which ultimately crumbled. When I was about 10 years old, my mother was deemed to be "unfit" by the court and our father was awarded FULL custody of the 5 of us. As I grew up, I started seeing how emotionally distant my mother was and I especially felt disconnected from her. In fact, I really did not LIKE my mother and that feeling always seemed mutual. I tried to develop a true relationship with her but never felt she could be honest about her failings as a mother or that she'd ever apologize for the HELL she put us through as kids. I guess I have been waiting for an apology I never got. I truly understand now that I have been wanting a mommy, and she wasn't it. That poor woman who raised me for my first 5 months was who I bonded with and I was ripped from her loving arms. Sad, true and now understood. <br /><br />Thank you so much, <br /><br />Lisa</p>
Staff
2013-07-17T19:39:00Z
My Child IS Getting It!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Child-IS-Getting-It!/-339110750663821551.html
2013-07-16T18:46:00Z
2013-07-16T18:46:00Z
<p><br />Recently, my 7-year-old daughter traveled to North Carolina to see other family members for 5 days. They had fun, but some of my other young cousins and relatives are more worldly and more 'mature' than my kid. Their parents give them many things which I think are inappropriate, costly, and unnecessary at such young ages to keep them busy.<br /><br />When she returned, my aunt said to me, "Why don't you buy your kid a laptop or iPad or cell phone? All the other kids had something; she was the only one who didn't." Then, this aunt turned to another aunt and said, "I know why. It's because she is c-h-e-a-p."<br /><br />My family members are pretty vocal and don't really understand boundaries. Although I was the niece, I was not afraid to respond, "No, it's not that I'm cheap at all. First, I would prefer you have this conversation with me alone, not in front of my kid. Secondly, most of the world is going to hell in a hand-basket, too, but I don't want that to be a reason for my kid to follow them, either."<br /><br />When we were driving back home, I asked my daughter if she heard what Auntie said and what she thought of the conversation. To my utter surprise, pride and gratitude, she said, "No, I wasn't upset that I didn't have the laptop or iPad. I guess it just means that I don't need that right now. I'm too young."<br /><br />I almost cried. I told my daughter how proud of her I was that she was not coveting, jealous, angry, or sad because she did not have certain 'things.' I continued to explain to her that she will get certain things as she grows, but as a kid, it's not good for her to have everything, too soon. Even as an adult, she won't get everything she wants or thinks she should have. I explained other principles about gratitude, sharing, working, saving, needs, wants, etc. as I always do. I even explained to her that many times, parents give children too many things because the parents feel guilty for not having good relationships with their kids. Again, my kid made me smile when she said, "But we have a relationship, right, Mommy?"<br /><br />I told my kid how proud I was because her response shows that she is learning, thinking, and applying the lessons and discussions we constantly have. I am trying to raise her to be a functional, responsible, adult woman, married to a man, and actually raise her own children. Unlike all my aunts and uncles, who are divorced, some have been married more than once, and are mostly driven by the feminist manifesto. My kid, thankfully and purposefully, is being raised by a married mom and dad, and an educated mom who is well aware of the costs of feminism.<br /> <br /><br />E.<br /> <br /><br />PS. I teach as an adjunct faculty member and I have a Master's Degree, so I am fully aware of the dangers and bill-of-goods of the feminist doctrine. This is why I stick out from my family - whom I love dearly.</p>
Staff
2013-07-16T18:46:00Z
Two-Parent Home Story
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Two-Parent-Home-Story/-20590477866630867.html
2013-07-16T18:40:00Z
2013-07-16T18:40:00Z
<p><br />Listening to your commentary regarding children being raised in a single parent vs. a dual parent home made me very reflective. The statistics you mentioned regarding single family homes and how they affect the kids really made me think.<br /><br />Four years ago, my daughter, who comes from an intact home, entered one of the largest high schools in New Jersey. Her freshman year she befriended 5 other girls, whom she met from the high school cheerleading team. These 6 girls remained friends for all four years. They had no issues, drama, or arguments and they were all very similar. All of them were honor students, civic-minded and did volunteer work. All of them set goals for themselves and worked incredibly hard. As a matter of fact, the cheer team they were on worked so hard and were so talented, they were Universal Cheerleading Association National Champions in 2012 and highlighted on ESPN three years in a row. They are dedicated, hardworking, driven, nice girls. They were all accepted to wonderful universities.<br /><br />I have often thought about them and how similar they are. It dawned on me one day that they were actually quite unique. Each one of them came from a two-parent home where both mom and dad were very involved which seems to be very rare these days. These families have become our friends as well. How blessed I am to have such a wonderful family!!! It is not always easy but the rewards are so worth it.<br /> <br /><br />Kathy</p>
Staff
2013-07-16T18:40:00Z
Ready to Be a Father
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ready-to-Be-a-Father/-627789947647063597.html
2013-07-15T18:01:00Z
2013-07-15T18:01:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura:<br /> <br /> When I was in my late 20s, I worked at a board of education office and loved making visits to the preschools and the kindergarten in the small town where I lived. Playing with other peoples' kids (e.g. carrying three kindergarteners at once piggy-back style or playing tag with twenty 5-year-olds at once) made my day. One of the parents said I was "kid-crazy."<br /> <br /> While I would have loved to have had children of my own to play with at that time, I hadn't yet found the right woman to marry and mother them. In my early 30s, I found the right woman, got married, finished my MA, and when I found work to support my family I was ready to be a father. Before then I was willing to be a father, but I had plans to get a Ph.D. in history (not a high-paying field) and relished the thought of visiting historical sites, and digging through archives. It was only when I had a job that paid well enough to allow my wife to stay at home and raise children that I was ready to be a father. <br /> <br /> My job has nothing to do with my studies and doesn't give me the personal fulfillment I'd been conditioned to expect by the do-what-you-love preachers I listened to. Instead, I have a job I can tolerate and a wife and two daughters I love playing and spending time with. Providing for them gives me great personal satisfaction, and my wife assures me I can go back to school to get my Ph.D. when the kids are grown and out of the house.<br /> <br /> <br /> Patrick</p>
Staff
2013-07-15T18:01:00Z
What I Envy Most About My Spouse
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-I-Envy-Most-About-My-Spouse/420017817745281813.html
2013-07-15T18:00:00Z
2013-07-15T18:00:00Z
<p> </p>
<p>Hi, Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I will be married to my husband for 30 years come August. Over the years, he has gained the ability to control his anger (which used to be quite quick!) and to put a positive spin on just about every situation. He quickly puts things into perspective. He has a knack of calming me through all of the storms in life. Where I see problems, he's very quick to remind me that it's not the end of the world and offers comforting solutions, ideas, and just plain "re-assurance." I'm very quick to react to things as "doom and gloom" and he's just able to pick me right up out of it and help me see that things just aren't as bad as they seem. I can't imagine life without him!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ruthann</p>
Staff
2013-07-15T18:00:00Z
How Alcohol Affected My Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Alcohol-Affected-My-Life/-556783343578924299.html
2013-07-12T17:01:00Z
2013-07-12T17:01:00Z
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Both my parents were alcoholics. My father finally sobered up when the local sheriff gave him a choice between going to jail for fraud or to the state psychiatric facility for 6 months ("treatment" hadn't even been invented back then). He was released and although he went to a zillion meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous, he never did take responsibility for how he had wrecked his marriage, children, family and friends. He died sober (nearly 40 years), but at his funeral I recall saying: "There isn't a big enough church in the world that could hold all the people he helped in AA. But the very small crowd here today testifies to the fact that he only worked steps that applied to helping other alcoholics and not mending relationships or taking responsibilities for his family."<br /> <br /> We didn't know for years that our mom was a secret drinker. We had such sympathy for her being married to an alcoholic and then a recovering but not responsible husband. She divorced him finally and married a man who was not an alcoholic, but was as controlling and just plain "unavailable" as our father was. She was spending nearly every day in her pajamas, drinking and smoking. Her husband would say he could not understand why she would not stop drinking. I suggested Alanon for him, to no avail, because he insisted her drinking was not his problem.<br /> <br /> My three sisters joined me in making a trip to where they lived and literally got her out the toxic situation. She moved back to our home state and never drank again. We were grateful that she was as happy as she could be for the last years of her life -- without alcohol. <br /> <br /> It has always puzzled me why comedians make fun of drinking and that acting inebriated is somehow funny. There is not a child of an alcoholic who thinks drinking and getting drunk are in any way funny.<br /> <br /> It's a tragic way to live. Fortunately, my three sisters and I managed to make good choices, get an education, get good jobs, and two of us chose wisely and have great marriages. Two sisters married alcoholics, but eventually divorced...ever with ease and always with tremendous guilt. One of those two is very happily married to a strong and wonderful man; her ex is still drinking and on girlfriend number I don't know, I cannot keep track.<br /> <br /> I can only thank God daily that we all have known the pain of alcoholism we personally escaped becoming or being alcoholics.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jody</p>
Staff
2013-07-12T17:01:00Z
Helping Each Other When We Need It
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Helping-Each-Other-When-We-Need-It/671073188762271450.html
2013-07-12T17:00:00Z
2013-07-12T17:00:00Z
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>I was dropping my Mom off at her house, and I was at an intersection waiting to turn left onto her street when I noticed a man in one of those fully-powered wheelchairs; y'know the one's that really go fast? Anyway, he was not on the sidewalk, but stuck in the gutter. The curb was quite high, and he was coming up to the sewer drainage area. That drainage area really slopes down, and I knew he was going to be completely stuck.<br /> <br /> I made my left turn and pulled into the first driveway, hopped out of my car and ran over to the guy in the chair. He was stopped by this time; I think he could see that if he continued he'd be against the sewer grate. He was panicked, and I said "Here, let me help you." He looked at me, carefully stood up from the chair and got onto the sidewalk.</p>
<p><br /> I work out everyday, and lift weights; I consider myself strong, but that chair plus its battery must have weighed 200 or 300 lbs. I could barely budge it. I got the front half of the wheels onto the curb thinking I could leverage it up onto the sidewalk, but that battery in the back of the chair was too heavy for me.<br /> <br /> Then this young guy, who was waiting for the bus, came running up and grabbed one side of the chair and I grabbed the other and we lifted it up onto the sidewalk.<br /> <br /> The chair owner seemed very concerned with all his groceries which he had hanging on the chair, so I told him to get in and I'd secure all his stuff.<br /> <br /> Immediately after he and his stuff were secure, he rode off at warp speed. I thanked the young guy who helped me, and dropped my mom off as planned.<br /> <br /> I was kind of glad the chair guy just matter-of-factly rode off without a thank you, because that should be a normal and expected thing; that we help each other when we need it.<br /> <br /> Love your show Dr Laura and you have really, really helped me to be a better person, and a good human being.<br /> <br /> Laura</p>
Staff
2013-07-12T17:00:00Z
Daughters Should Know How to Be Treated
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Daughters-Should-Know-How-to-Be-Treated/168351584841950618.html
2013-07-11T18:01:00Z
2013-07-11T18:01:00Z
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My husband should get the award for Father of the year. My husband really spoiled our 2 daughters and I don't mean with material things. He gave our daughters his time, attention and all of his heart.</p>
<p>Every evening, our daughters called him "Water Man" as he would lovingly bring them and me a glass of water to our rooms before bed. My husband never participated in his favorite activity of golf when our children were young because he wanted to spend all his free time with his family.</p>
<p>He always gave me and our girls flowers for any and every occasion. When our oldest daughter went away to college, he was ordering her a huge bouquet of flowers for Valentines Day. I quietly remarked that maybe he shouldn't scare off any of the college boys by this large bouquet he was sending. My thinking was that the boys would be intimidated by these flowers if the boy arrived bearing one little flower. His response was, "I don't care. I want my daughter to KNOW how to be treated!!" </p>
<p>One of our daughters married and it was approaching her first wedding anniversary. My husband immediately wanted to send flowers. I quietly reminded him that it was THEIR anniversary and maybe he shouldn't compete with our new son-in-law. He agreed, but decided we should call her new in-laws on the anniversary and tell them how grateful we were for their son and how delighted we are to be part of their family.</p>
<p>Now we have 2 little granddaughters who my husband has no limits on how many flowers, balloons and teddy bears he can shower on them. For me, I'm Grammy, and I'm enjoying Skyping with the grandkids when I can't be with them. I read them books over the Internet and have a big bag of puppets so I can put on The Grammy Show. Aren't families wonderful!? </p>
<p>Thanks for all you do to protect children, Dr. Laura. We love you.</p>
<p> Melissa</p>
Staff
2013-07-11T18:01:00Z
Funny Birth Story
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Funny-Birth-Story/-858919268767005946.html
2013-07-11T18:00:00Z
2013-07-11T18:00:00Z
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>It was 32 years ago this October. I was in Texas and it was the first thunderstorm of the season. Yep! My water broke. I ran over to the toilet and my husband said "No, no, no." Thinking the baby was coming out right then, he placed his hands underneath me to catch it so it wouldn't fall into the toilet! That's what he said, "Whew! No baby yet." He said he was going to get my suitcase and the car, and pick me up at the front door. I opened the door and he never showed up! He had left to go to the hospital without me. What a nut! Luckily he came back just in time for us to make it to the hospital and deliver a 9 pound baby girl in just 20 minutes. If only I had the rest of my children in 20 minutes!</p>
<p>Angela</p>
Staff
2013-07-11T18:00:00Z
Peonies Out of the Horse Poop
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Peonies-Out-of-the-Horse-Poop/863474772647459183.html
2013-07-10T17:01:00Z
2013-07-10T17:01:00Z
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>My daughter and I heard your monologue about life being peonies growing out of lots of horse poop. She recently had a "horse poop" moment. She graduated high school this year and in her final season of her favorite sport, she was treated poorly by a coach. This led to a confrontational meeting, and eventually her leaving the team and the sport she loves so much before the end of the season. We agonized over this situation, but we know we handled it in the best way we could have. Whether we were right or wrong in the details, she stood up for herself. And although she lost out on playing the game, she walked away with her head up and backbone firmly intact.</p>
<p>There really are "horse poop" moments throughout life. You never know quite when you'll hit them, or how deep they'll be, but you have to be farsighted enough to look forward and do the best you can to wade, or even crawl, through them. The peonies make it worth the trip.</p>
<p>Thanks for the uplifting words, because once again you have been a blessing to someone you didn't even know.</p>
<p>Reva</p>
Staff
2013-07-10T17:01:00Z
Thoughtful and Meaningful Gestures
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thoughtful-and-Meaningful-Gestures/583960737345380743.html
2013-07-10T17:01:00Z
2013-07-10T17:01:00Z
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p>Dr. Laura asked, "What was the most thoughtful thing someone has done for you when you were sick or ill?" Here are only a few of the inspiring responses: </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lou:</p>
<p>When my deceased husband was in the last few months of his life, a good friend of mine every other week sent a cheery card in which she stated simply, "I care." Since there was nothing to be done about his illness, her cards and words brightened many of those days.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Gail:<br /> Our son has a serious illness, cystic fibrosis, and has been in and out of the hospital since he was born. Although he manages to work, he does have much therapy to maintain his health. Despite this, he has managed to twice become ill to the point of crisis in the past two years. Due to a problem with an IV med, he went into acute renal failure. We were at his bedside 24/7 for a week, as he was on continuous dialysis. <br /> <br /> A dear friend brought in a huge basket of things that would refresh the family. I think she completely understood our needs, because her own daughter, twelve years ago, was in a serious car accident and spent months in the hospital herself.<br /> <br /> Among the items: water, juice, citrus fruits, apples, nuts, candy bars, cookies, health bars, mints, chewing gum, facial freshening wipes, notebook, pens. I loved her for the gesture of love, and recently was able to pay it forward to another friend during her hospital crisis.<br /> <br /> I should mention that our son survived what seemed like an impossible situation, and his kidneys healed in time!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mariah:</p>
<p>I don't know how this worked out, but when I was in middle school, I was going in for eye surgery, and a friend of mine was this really nice girl from Japan. She made me some twenty or so Origami cranes. They were hanging in my locker for months after the surgery. I was happy to have them and she told me that it was her way of wishing me well. Later, I felt bad for her, because I learned the family she was staying with were not so understanding of her culture and thought she was weird. They told her not to give me the cranes, but just a card. I cherished the cranes over the card any day, and I still want to learn how to make those in return. It was nice of her to give something I still cherish in my heart.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kathy:<br /> While being treated for melanoma that required being hospitalized a week at a time, my sister decided not to leave me alone. After her first visit with me and seeing the harsh treatment I was going through, each hospital stay, she would not let me be left alone at night. After working all day, she would sleep in a chair. She would be there all night to help me through the nausea, getting me to the bathroom, covering me up with blankets, uncovering me when I got hot, etc. Each morning she would get up around 5:30am, make sure I was comfortable, and then head off to work. Yes, I had nurses to take care of me, but she said since I, as her older sister, always looked after her when we were younger, it was her turn to look after me. We have always been close, but it was a wonderful thing to just call her name and know she was there. I never thought we could be closer but we are. God bless her.</p>
Staff
2013-07-10T17:01:00Z
Learning to 'Think Like a Man'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-to-Think-Like-a-Man/448208360139341485.html
2013-07-09T18:01:00Z
2013-07-09T18:01:00Z
<p><br /><br /></p>
Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I was listening to another SiriusXM satellite station when the host asked people to call in to find out what they were giving their husbands and fathers for Father's Day. <br /><br />One woman said she was taking her dad to the botanical gardens and then lunch. Another said she was putting together a scrapbook for her husband. A third said she was making a coupon book for hugs and time to do a favorite activity away from home. <br /><br />While these were all thoughtful ideas from women who clearly loved their men, I immediately thought about what you might say having been a listener to your show for many years. It seemed these women were pouring their loving hearts into giving the sort of thing THEY would want to receive, rather than giving something their MEN might enjoy more-<br /><br />Then, I had it! I knew, after hearing you talk, and reading your books, that while these gifts were nice, the best thing I could get the wonderful fathers in MY life were tuned in to their unique desires and needs. I needed to 'think like a man'. <br /><br />Recently, I was shooting with my husband when he mentioned how he wanted to practice. We were using cans for practice. We live on acreage. Well, I decided to get target stands and practice paper for both my DAD and my HUSBAND. I called the local sporting goods store and they had just two stands left. I asked them to save them for me!! Thinking like a man led me to the RIGHT gift for both of them- not very expensive and super fun for them!<br /><br />In the early years of my marriage, I too made homemade cards and a scrapbook, and even did coupons. For some men these might be the perfect gifts. As for me, my husband graciously accepted them, but it's all about putting yourself in the other person's shoes and recognizing the difference in thinking. <br /><br />Thank you for helping me 'think like a man'!!<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Theresa
Staff
2013-07-09T18:01:00Z
Life Without Cell Phones
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Life-Without-Cell-Phones/-514963285657921215.html
2013-07-09T18:00:00Z
2013-07-09T18:00:00Z
<p><br /><br /></p>
Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I was listening on a podcast and got a kick out of your reference to parents threatening to take away their teenagers' cell phones. You are absolutely correct that is an empty threat because the reason the parent usually gives the kid a phone in the first place is to make the parent's life easier. <br /><br />I was a teenager without a cell phone and I know there are many parents out there today who also grew up without a cell phone. If your parents dropped you off at a football game at school, for example, they said I'll pick you up right here at 9 pm. If you weren't there, you didn't get to go again. That was a consequence and a major one if you were social at all in school. Same goes for all the other things I occasionally hear on your program. <br /><br />When will I know when my kid is finished at practice? Music lessons? The mall? This is not rocket science. Find out from the coach or teacher what time they will be ready to go home. Give the kid a watch and tell them what time they are expected to be right back where you dropped them off. Make sure you tell them out loud that you know the batteries work so they don't try anything smart! I see no reason to give a kid a cell phone. Given current events in our society it will only serve to distract them and potentially get them into trouble. Legal trouble in some cases. <br /><br />Love your show! <br /><br />Take care,<br /><br />Jenn
<p> </p>
Staff
2013-07-09T18:00:00Z
Broken Families
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Broken-Families/377618362739621934.html
2013-07-08T17:05:00Z
2013-07-08T17:05:00Z
<p><br /><br /></p>
Dear Dr Laura,<br /><br />Recently, you took a call from a listener named Joe. He wasn't sure if he should work things out with his wife or to move on with the bimbo. I sat listening to this call wishing my dad had heard this about 17 years ago.<br /><br />My parents had been married for 30 years. My dad decided to bail with his honey. He even had enough gall to ask my mom to "wait for him" in case things "didn't work out." Thankfully my mom did the right thing and told him to get lost.<br /><br />I was around 20 when they divorced and I did not see my dad for roughly 7 years. Why? Because the anger and disrespect that I had for him. My mother had her faults, but did not in any way deserve this. <br /><br />My dad spent a good amount of time blaming me for the fact that my brother and I did not accept his new honey with wide open arms; that I barely called him; that I did not make a fuss and go see him when he came to visit. Although I was well aware of my mother's faults I rallied around her.<br /><br />I came really close to disowning my father since at one point, he seriously threw away his parent card, but about 7 years ago I decided to let him back in on a extremely superficial basis. Our relationship has gotten better and he has apologized for his past behaviors. I have come to accept that his new honey is actually better suited to him than my mother was.<br /><br />It was a long emotional battle that I wouldn't wish upon any child (at ANY age) and I would certainly appreciate that any parent deciding to ditch their spouse to continue with an extra-marital relationship consider what they will be doing to their family. They will seriously lose their family in more than one way.<br /><br />Many thanks!<br /><br />C.
<p> </p>
Staff
2013-07-08T17:05:00Z
The Golf Challenge
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Golf-Challenge/-632690416976360586.html
2013-07-08T17:03:00Z
2013-07-08T17:03:00Z
<p><br /><br /></p>
Dr. Laura, here is a challenge that is greater than shooting pool: <br /><br />WHO SAID GOLF IS COMPLICATED?<br /><br />Once a player has mastered the grip and stance, all he has to bear in mind, in the brief two-second interval it takes to swing, is to keep his left elbow pointed in toward the left hip and his right arm loose and closer to the body than the left and take the club head past his right knee and then break the wrists at just the right instant while the left arm is still traveling straight back from the ball and the right arm stays glued to the body and the hips come around in a perfect circle and meanwhile everything is mucked up unless the weight is 60 percent on the left foot and 40 percent on the right - not an ounce more or less - and at just the right point in the turn the left knee bends in toward the right in a dragging motion until the left heel comes off the ground but not too far and be sure the hands are over the right foot but not on the toe more than the heel except that the left side of the right foot is tilted off the ground - but not too far - and be sure the hands at the top of the swing are high and the shaft points along a line parallel with the ground and if its a downhill lie the shaft is supposed to be pointed downhill too and pause at the top of the swing and count one, jerk the left arm straight down like a bell ringer yanking a belfry rope and don't uncock the wrists too soon and pull the left hip around in a circle but don't let the shoulders turn with the hips - they have to be facing the hole and now transfer the weight 60 percent to the left foot and 40 percent to the right - not an ounce more or less - and tilt the left foot now so the right side of it is straight that's the one you hit against watch out for the left hand, it's supposed to be extended, but not too stiff or the shot won't go anywhere and don't let it get loose or you will hook, then let the wrists uncock but don't force them or you'll smother the shot and don't break too soon but keep your head down then hit the ball.<br /><br />THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT!!...<br /><br />Unless you move your head, then you're screwed!!!!!!<br /><br />Stan
<p> </p>
Staff
2013-07-08T17:03:00Z
It Doesn't Have to Be MY Way
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Doesnt-Have-to-Be-MY-Way/-900234073372646272.html
2013-07-03T18:18:00Z
2013-07-03T18:18:00Z
<p><br /><br /></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1372875291627_3064" class="yiv714385041MsoNormal"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1372875291627_3067">I read your daily emails, and especially love the emails from listeners. Recently, one really spoke to me and I had to respond. The author <a href="/b/Best-Marital-Advice-Ever/590378509792835702.html">of the email</a> had complained to a friend that while hubby did the laundry, he didn't put things away in the right place. Her friend scolded her and reminded her to be grateful the hubby made the effort and thank him. Very good advice! <br /><br />Even though I haven't been given that advice, I learned early on to bite my tongue in similar situations. When I went back to work while my boys were in school, I still did most of the household chores, but HE offered to do the dishes, and boy was I happy. Then I realized that he didn't load the dishwasher the right way (I mean MY way), didn't always put things away, and didn't always do the dishes immediately after dinner like I would. When I was younger, I might have said something to him about it and made him resentful that I didn't appreciate his effort...totally forgetting the essence of his gesture: LOVE. He was taking a burden off my shoulders by helping around the house, and I didn't even have to suggest it!<br /><br />Fortunately, I'm more mature these days, and I see this gift as it really is. When I see things in the dishwasher in places I wouldn't put them, I leave them unless I can move things around to fit other dishes. If he leaves a clean pan on the counter, I put it away. So what if he doesn't do the dishes immediately after dinner? They are ALWAYS done, in fact, since he's been doing dishes, the sink is almost always empty since he is continually washing up. I admit, he's better at keeping the sink clean than I am, and I've adopted his habits when he's out of town out of respect for him.<br /><br />Does it bug me when he's doing dishes when I'm making dinner, and making a minor mess? Yep, sometimes it does, but I've never said anything because he's doing something for me to make my life easier, and I am so grateful to have such a good husband. Choose wisely and treat kindly. I did and I am. YOU taught me that!<br /><br />Thanks for all you do, and keep making a difference in our lives!</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1372875291627_3069" class="yiv714385041MsoNormal"><span> </span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1372875291627_3070" class="yiv714385041MsoNormal"><span>Mandy</span></p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2013-07-03T18:18:00Z
Fighting for Our Freedom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fighting-for-Our-Freedom/590295061339965306.html
2013-07-03T18:00:00Z
2013-07-03T18:00:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I chose this photo of my dad to send you because it is one of the few that has been taken in the last several months of our family somewhat together. This is because Dad is serving in Afghanistan. I am so proud of him because he is keeping our country safe from terrorists. I also chose this photo to show what I love the most about my dad which is his sense of humor. Even though he works 12 hours a day, every day he is always positive and in a good mood. He makes the entire family laugh.</p>
<p>When he is in Afghanistan, he has a tradition of growing his beard as long as he can. Normally, he is clean shaven and does not have a beard. In this photo he braided it. He likes to tease my mom about it. She says "I am not kissing you until you shave as soon as you get home!" So they go back and forth and the whole family laughs.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr Laura, for allowing me to do send you this. It makes me feel better to be able to share our family's sacrifice and I know you respect and admire our military.</p>
<p>Jeremiah<br /><br /><img style="margin: 5px auto; display: block;" src="/images/blog/dad_afghanistan.jpg" alt="" /></p>
Staff
2013-07-03T18:00:00Z
New Relationships Don't Take Priority Over Priors
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/New-Relationships-Dont-Take-Priority-Over-Priors/-55615529130654814.html
2013-07-02T18:54:00Z
2013-07-02T18:54:00Z
<p><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />My hubby and I had a breakfast conversation this morning that had you and your advice written all over it with a chuckle at the end and I had to share.<br /><br />You are always saying that priors take priority over the new. And that any woman or man who demands that the new partner with prior kids put the new relationship first over their kids isn't worth the trouble. Plus, you are always saying that the purpose of dating is to determine if the partner is a match.<br /><br />So at breakfast, Hubby mentioned his co- worker, who is getting a divorce, had said she couldn't wait to be rid of her husband. My man then reminded her she'll never be rid of him because they have kids together.<br /><br />I told him that story reminded me of a podcast call I had just heard the day before from November where a woman called your show about her divorced parents who had both remarried. Her dad and new wife never came to her house for Christmas and she always had to load up her three young kids and go there and she was tired of it. Your advice was to inform her parents and their respective spouses that Christmas was going to be at HER house this year and they are ALL invited to attend. It was up to them whether or not the grandkids were worth the trip and the effort it would take to get along with each other for the day. If her dad and his wife declined the invite, then respond with, "Oh well. You will be missed." If they asked her to load up the kids and go for a visit afterwards, just say, "No." Your point was that she will see if her kids are worth the effort, since you could not see how any grandparent would not crawl through broken glass to see their grandkids, especially on a holiday.<br /><br />My hubby agreed with all you said and if that if anything happened to our marriage, he would never let any woman keep him from his son and/or grandchildren. Hubby said, "Yep... she'd be gooooone."<br /><br />Then Hubby said, "Well, that's why you date first and find this stuff out BEFORE you get married." I said, "Yep, that's another Dr. Laura pearl of wisdom."<br /><br />Then Hubby said, "But I won't have to worry about any of that. Unless you plan on leaving me..."<br /><br />I smiled and said, "Heck no! Are you kidding me? I just figured out how to put up with your crap... why would I want to find a new one?"<br /><br />To which he laughed out loud and we hugged and kissed.<br /><br />Love you and take care!<br /><br />Lisa</p>
Staff
2013-07-02T18:54:00Z
Share the Memories
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Share-the-Memories/805617351222971154.html
2013-07-02T18:49:00Z
2013-07-02T18:49:00Z
<p><br /><br />Would I want to know if I were dying? This question took a lot of thought and while I wavered back and forth, I decided I would like to know when the end is coming. It would wake me up and get me out of my everyday RUT. It would make me be more appreciative of everything around me and how lucky I have been. It would push me to be more open in showing my love. It would allow me to leave this life by emptying my heart of the thoughts that would express just how much each of the special people in my life have meant to me and leave them words of encouragement to make the most of their life. I would write letters, make videos, and record my thoughts. I know that the most common first thought is to travel and see the world, and yes I to would like to do that, but if traveling meant not being there to share just one more day, one more hug goodnight, from my sons then I would forgo the travel. In the end the memories I have will die with me, but the ones I share are the ones that will live on, so I would choose to know.<br /><br />Thanks,<br /><br />Bill</p>
Staff
2013-07-02T18:49:00Z
I Do What You Pay People to Do
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Do-What-You-Pay-People-to-Do/-61186018344388723.html
2013-07-01T18:59:00Z
2013-07-01T18:59:00Z
<p><br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I'm a stay at home mom to a wonderful 2.5 year old daughter and I'm currently 8 months pregnant with our second. You were a large influence in our decision to have me stay at home. My husband runs his own company and I had previously worked for him before our first daughter was born. He works hard to allow me to stay home and raise our little girl and our soon-to-be baby. I am thankful to have such an amazing husband who shares my vision of the importance of being a stay-at-home mom. <br /><br />We recently moved back to our home town and have started meeting a lot of new people. I have to tell you, when I get asked what "I do" I'm often shocked at people's responses. Just last night, I was at a cocktail party on one of my rare nights out and a new mom of a 1-year-old asked me what I do. I told her I stay at home with my daughter. She responded with "What do you do all day?" It was very difficult for me not to snap back, "What you PAY people to do for you all day," but I bit my tongue and told her all the fun things my daughter and I do on a daily basis. She proceeded to tell me about all the great day cares in the area and that the one her daughter goes to teaches sign language and how fantastic that was. My daughter and I took sign language classes together these past 2 years but I didn't bother to tell her that. I figured it was pointless to point out since she seemed very stuck in her ways. <br /><br />Also we are getting some work done on our house and have many contractors here the past few weeks. This morning one of the contractors commented. "Another tough day for ya, huh?" I'm not sure how someone can look at a 8 month pregnant woman chasing around a toddler all day in this summer heat, making my family 3 home cooked meals a day and taking care of this house all on her own not a tough job. <br /><br />I have to say, Dr. Laura, I find these people to be truly sad. Being a stay-at-home mom is a very tough job! It's one of the most important jobs there is and I am VERY proud to be my daughter's mom AND my husband's girlfriend. I work hard at both. When I reflect on my life so far, those 2 things are what I am most proud of. I wish people wouldn't be so quick to belittle that. <br /><br />Lee</p>
Staff
2013-07-01T18:59:00Z
We Got On the Same Page
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Got-On-the-Same-Page/-134230308312548545.html
2013-07-01T18:54:00Z
2013-07-01T18:54:00Z
<p><br /><br />Recently, my husband and I celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary and I owe it to your advice over the years leading up to and including my marriage. <br /><br />We had a long bumpy relationship, but I started listening to you and most of our problems were worked out because of your advice - I have many detailed stories that include you!<br /><br />We had shacked up and when I told him I would like to be married, he shocked me by saying that he did not want to be married again and take the chance of losing all his "stuff". I did not give an ultimatum or get upset, I just told him we were not on the same page and I did not want his stuff - I wanted to be his wife.<br /><br />I was sad, but I knew I did not want to waste another five or six years waiting for him to change his mind. So, I looked into renting a cute little house for my cat and me. I never mentioned my plan to him. <br /><br />A couple of days later, I came home and he sat me down and told me that he did want to marry me and got down on one knee. I told him it was the wrong knee and he got up and got down on the other one. I don't think there is a "correct" knee to use while proposing; I just thought I would mess with him.<br /><br />Anyway, two weeks later in my parents' backyard we got hitched with just a couple of good friends and close family. Our reception was at a bar! <br /><br />So, thank you for all you do. You truly have made a difference in my life and continue to do so. I wish I could tell you about all the other times in which you helped me along the way to a happy, healthy marriage. <br /><br />Cathy</p>
Staff
2013-07-01T18:54:00Z
Random Acts of Kindness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Random-Acts-of-Kindness/-227481299469708428.html
2013-06-28T22:37:00Z
2013-06-28T22:37:00Z
<p><br />Dr. Laura posted to her <a href="https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=545354722177744&set=a.260035704042982.60113.112829642096923&type=1" target="_blank">Facebook page</a> the story of Delta Air Lines CEO Richard Anderson's gesture of giving up his seat so a mother could make it home to her daughter. This story brought in emails from listeners about witnessing other random acts of kindness. Here are only a few:</p>
<p><strong>Nancy</strong><strong>:<br /></strong>When my husband and I were traveling from Brownwood, Texas to Fredericksburg, Texas, in a rental car, we ran out of gas. Very few cars were traveling on that hot day. A truck saw us and turned around. I waved frantically for this truck to stop. They wanted to know how they could help. They got us some gas, put in the tank and wouldn't let us pay for it. On top of that, they followed us to the next town to make sure we made it to the gas station. These folks went way out of their way to help a couple of seniors. They were three guys from Oklahoma attending a convention in San Antonio. I'll never forget their kindness as we could have been stranded for hours in the Texas heat.</p>
<p><strong>Cindy:<br /></strong>My mother has Alzheimer's and I was trying to get her in the car late at night in the hospital parking lot. She didn't remember how to get into a car, so I was struggling to get her to bend limbs, etc. when some one came out of the dark. At first, they scared me, but offered to help get her in. I was pulling her in from the driver's side as they were helping on the passenger side. After we got her seated, I came around the car to thank this person, but they were no where to be found. I often wonder if it was really an angel.<br /><strong><br /><br />Edna:<br /></strong>Last week, my husband entered a specially designed house with a home-like setting for residents who have dementia. That was not a good week for either one of us, but imagine my joy when I returned home one afternoon from visiting him to find a formerly very grassy flower bed completely free of grass and weeds. Our neighbor had come down and cleaned it out completely. Now the roses, azaleas, and herbs can grow and prosper. The neighbor will never know how much his kindness restored my energy and gave me comfort when I was at an all-time low.<br /><strong><br /><br />Sally:<br /></strong>One incredibly rainy day, I witnessed my husband stop to help a teenager get her car started. He was soaked and she was grateful.<br /><br /><strong><br />Kimberly:<br /></strong>I have enjoyed teaching my kids the joy of carrying out random acts of kindness around our community and feel fortunate to have received a few of these in my life. However, the one I would like to share today was when a total stranger come to my aid in the midst of a bicycle accident. It happened when I was in university and my main mode of transport was walking or riding my bike. The snow had finally melted, but the roadsides where full of sand and gravel. My bike was an ancient hand-me-down. which I can't complain about as I was grateful for the gift. I was fully aware the old bike had a penchant for loosing its chain without warning and yet I set out for school that day. There was a big hill with a four way stop at the bottom and as fate would have it, when I started to brake, the chain came off. I was airborne and tumbled in a bicycle tangle. As I laid there trying to decide my next move...a kind motorist stopped his car to check on me. The pedal had cut through my jeans, my knee was shredded, and I had sand and gravel burns on my arms and hands. My helmet protected my head though. The kind stranger offered to take me to the hospital and even put my mangled bike in his trunk. I was fine, but I always regretted never being able to properly thank the stranger for their act of kindness and warm smile which took some of the sting out of my cuts and bruised pride for putting myself in a position I knew wasn't smart but did anyway.</p>
Staff
2013-06-28T22:37:00Z
A Thoughtful Act While I Was Sick
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Thoughtful-Act-While-I-Was-Sick/890690408978877759.html
2013-06-28T22:35:00Z
2013-06-28T22:35:00Z
<p><br />Hi Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I was in the hospital having a hysterectomy. I had never been in the hospital before, and I was just languishing in that awful place: My bed was horribly uncomfortable, I wore the hospital supplied gown, my nether regions were caked in dried blood, and I couldn't get around yet.</p>
<p>The night of the surgery I had been throwing up from the anesthesia and my roommate was so kind to ring for the nurse for me a couple of times.<br /><br />I felt so alone there. I compared my state to my roommate, who had an egg crate cushion, a lovely night gown and slippers, a fluffy pillow with a beautiful pillow case on it, and a basket with stationery for writing thank you letters for all the flowers and well wishes she had received. <br /><br />The next night, my boss from work came to visit. I was so happy to see her. She said, "I have something for you" and presented me with a flannel night gown. I burst into tears immediately. She laughed, and put it on me. I was transformed from a patient to a human being immediately. This was THE kindest thing anyone has ever done for me, and I let it motivate me when I'm comforting the sick or dying.</p>
<p>Laura</p>
Staff
2013-06-28T22:35:00Z
I'm Being a Better Dad Today
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-Being-a-Better-Dad-Today/-738670519259056886.html
2013-06-27T19:03:00Z
2013-06-27T19:03:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1371492217864_3512" class="yiv589090697MsoNormal"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1371492217864_3511" style="font-size: 10.5pt;"> </span> </p>
<p>Dear Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I'm writing to say thank you. I'm a divorced father of a beautiful 4-year-old girl. She has truly been a blessing and anchor in my life. Ever since she hit the ground she has given my life new purpose, perspective and humility. Feeling very strongly that one of the parents should be home with the children, I've arranged my life and business so I can work from home and take care of my girl. It's been me and her since she was just 2-1/2 months old. While it's been challenging and trying at times, I wouldn't have had it any other way!</p>
<p>Unfortunately her mom and I divorced when my girl was just 2 years old. It was hard accepting the fact there was nothing I could do about her mom's actions, beliefs, thoughts, regarding our marriage. It was even harder losing someone who I thought was my best friend. However as a father and a man, I knew what I needed to do: move forward and be my kid's dad. And that's what I continue to do, providing a stable, loving, nurturing and consistent home for my daughter.</p>
<p>We are just coming off a difficult stretch of time and one has been little more trying than others. I hate to say it, but my patience was wearing thin and I was ready for a break. She will go to her mom's this afternoon and evening and I will be back to pick her up in the morning.</p>
<p>Feeling a little down about my lack of patience I was not in the best of moods this morning but then I got my copy of "Be A Better Dad Today" from your weekly book giveaway. It totally made my day! Thank you!</p>
<p>Thank you for everything you do! I became a Dr. Laura Family member several months ago and have been listening to your podcasts. Your show and what you do has been very helpful to me and has given me tools to tackle everyday life and most importantly helps me be a better father. I cannot thank you enough. In this superficial world of little morality, and hypocrisy, you are moral warrior! Your integrity, and straightforward approach to relationships, communication, family and life is refreshing!!!</p>
<p>Please keep doing what you do! And I will continue to be the example of a man and father by which my daughter will measure and compare all men.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Kaitlin's Dad</p>
Staff
2013-06-27T19:03:00Z
Effects of Alcohol
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Effects-of-Alcohol/174616092151628624.html
2013-06-27T17:46:00Z
2013-06-27T17:46:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1371492217864_3512" class="yiv589090697MsoNormal"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1371492217864_3511" style="font-size: 10.5pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="yiv589090697MsoNormal"> </p>
<p>Back in the days (1970s) driving around with a cooler of ice cold beer in the bed of your truck was a sign of manhood. It was especially satisfying to pop the top and cool down on a hot summer day, and a reward for a good days work down on the farm. At family get-to-gathers the men would all sit around drinking beer and shooting the breeze. If you happened to consume a little too much libation, and happened to get pulled over by the police, you got a ride home and that was that.<br /> <br /> Fast forward 40 years...the stigma of alcohol consumption has changed (and rightfully so. Today, my spouse of 40 years is suffering from the devastating effects of an alcohol addiction. The alcoholism has progressed over the years to the extent that he is now unable to work, handle daily situations, isolates himself from friends and family, and is currently undergoing psychiatric treatment for severe anxiety issues. The drinking, which used to give him relief from life's stresses, is now only exasperating his debilitating anxiety.<br /> <br /> He denies having a drinking problem but the reality of it persists. The extent of his drinking became apparent when, after his last day of work for the week, he would rest (alternating between trips to the outdoors) so that he could drink in seclusion throughout the night. By the early evening though, he would be unable to carry on a conversation and his wobbly posture, he would explain, was due to his extreme exhaustion. The two refrigerators filled with beer and other assorted bottles of alcohol are locked away in the garage and he maintains a separate bank account which he uses to withdraw cash to avoid having to explain his alcohol purchases. <br /> <br /> Gradually, I have lost my support system (my best friend and confidant) and miss the affection and intimacy we used to share. Over the years, I've had to make financial and health care decisions, raise my family, and deal with cancer alone because he "could not deal" with stresses of day-to-day life; and I worry about the effects of alcoholism on my children and grandchildren. I hope and pray that with the proper treatment (for both of us) that our remaining "golden years" will be filled with a renewed passion for life.</p>
<br />
<p>Kathy</p>
Staff
2013-06-27T17:46:00Z
Males v. Females
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Males-v.-Females/482915299757394109.html
2013-06-26T17:24:00Z
2013-06-26T17:24:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1371492217864_3512" class="yiv589090697MsoNormal"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1371492217864_3511" style="font-size: 10.5pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="yiv589090697MsoNormal"> </p>
<p>Hey there Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I love movies... not necessarily good ones, but I DO love movies. There are so many movies that directly deal with the difference between men and women: The Truth about Cats and Dogs, The Ugly Truth, What Women Want, You've Got Mail, Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally, Notting Hill, etc. Unfortunately, all of these deal with feelings in a Hollywood way. It's all on screen, not "real;" however, there is one movie that CAUSES the two sexes to react in a VERY stereotypical way. That movie, is Titanic.<br /><br />Why? Well, no matter which version of the movie you're thinking of, imagine a reporter asking people leaving the theater how they liked the movie and you'll get the EXACT difference between men and women.<br /><br />Imagine... <br /><br />Couple leaving the theater... The man, stoic faced, yet concerned he's done something wrong, practically supporting a teary-eyed date, so blinded by tears running down her mascara stained cheeks that she can barely walk, wracked with sobs. <br /><br />Reporter to woman: "So, how was the movie?"<br /><br />Woman, between sobs: "Oh... it... was soooooooooooooooooooooo wonderful... I mean... he saved her and she saved him and they danced and they loved and they cared and then they saved each other and then... and then... and then.... he DIEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!!!"<br /><br />Reporter to Man: "How'd YOU like the movie?"<br /><br />Man, still holding up the woman: "I like how the ship broke apart in the middle."<br /><br />'nuff said.<br /><br />Love you Doc,<br /><br />Mike</p>
Staff
2013-06-26T17:24:00Z
Turning a Negative Attitude Around
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Turning-a-Negative-Attitude-Around/872108936099475040.html
2013-06-26T17:21:00Z
2013-06-26T17:21:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1371492217864_3512" class="yiv589090697MsoNormal"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1371492217864_3511" style="font-size: 10.5pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="yiv589090697MsoNormal"> </p>
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />When I get negative thoughts in my mind, I try to hear them and catch them early. It is a battle but one of the ways I do it is to first WAKE UP with a good attitude and that starts with the moment I open my eyes. Even if I am tired and groggy, I think of THREE THINGS THAT I AM THANKFUL FOR that morning. It could be that I am alive; it could be that I have a window and beautiful plants to look at; it could be that I woke up earlier than I planned (because of the dog snoring - for which I am thankful I have a dog) and therefore had more time to get something done. <br /><br />And at the end of the day I don't beat myself up if I wasn't perfect in my attitude. Before I go to bed, I ask myself what three good things happened today and what did I accomplish? That puts me in a good mood as I go to sleep.<br /><br />I battle it all day, but it is getting better with practice. <br /><br />Erica</p>
Staff
2013-06-26T17:21:00Z
We Made the Decision to Be Parents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Made-the-Decision-to-Be-Parents/-985931744742997149.html
2013-06-25T18:28:00Z
2013-06-25T18:28:00Z
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<p>Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />Recently, I was watching morning television as I was preparing to leave for my day when I heard a story that grabbed my attention. A stay-at-home mom (I use the title loosely) was stating she regrets staying at home and raising her 3 sons. She went on to tell America that she used her drivers license more than her degrees and that mothers should stay in the work place at least part time. At one point in her career she realized what was important and left the work place doing the right thing, but I can not understand why after raising what appear to be 3 nice young men, she is telling the world it is a mistake to do this. <br /><br />My wife and I are not by any means well off financially. When my oldest was born, we decided not to allow any person other than us to raise him. My wife worked part time in the mornings while he slept and I worked a later shift so that one of us was always there with him. I still appreciate that morning time I spent with him and would not trade it for all the money or power in the world. When he was about 12 he had a degenerative hip condition and my wife and I decided to home school because of his medical problems. He went on to a small university where he graduated with a 4.0 gpa and was able to obtain academic scholarships through 3 of 4 years of school. He then took the LSATS and scored high enough to receive a full ride to a top 100 law school. He finished his first year at #1 and received invitations to 3 of the top 6 law schools in the country. We just attended his graduation where he was the #1 student in a top 10 law school. While maybe I am bragging a little, the point is I do not believe any of this would have been remotely possible if my wife and I would have turned him over to the countless strangers raising kids and turned a blind eye to the public school system with their own agenda and not the best interest of our kids. <br /><br />My youngest will graduate from a public school next year and I am sure his principal will be glad to see me go as I remain very active in his education. <br /><br />My wife and have never regretted our decisions to drive an older car or not have the latest technology or not live in the nicest house on the road. My wife and I simply made the decision to be parents 27 years ago and would not trade one minute of this for anything. <br /><br />Please keep up the good fight. We are out here listening to you and taking on these crazy people who would sell their kids for their selfish satisfaction. I am a simple person and do not write many letters so I will apologize for any grammar errors. I was just so angry that the agenda of our media is to farm out our kids and for what? More drugs, crime and drama from broken families that they can report on. I guess job security. Thank you for letting me vent. <br /><br />Robert</p>
Staff
2013-06-25T18:28:00Z
Not Standing By
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Not-Standing-By/-771968489619905416.html
2013-06-25T18:17:00Z
2013-06-25T18:17:00Z
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<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I was raised to be my brother's keeper so to speak, and because of my experience of being a paramedic I often stop at accidents to provide first-aid and comfort.<br /><br />The most difficult intervention was not due to an accident. One afternoon I was taking my young son for a walk in his stroller, when I noticed a commotion at the end of the block in front of me. I resisted the urge to retreat and kept walking - hoping every moment that a teacher or security officer from the school next door would arrive and resolve the situation. No such luck, and a minute later I was asking a young child if he knew the man who had taken his candy. The child said, "No," and the man told me to mind my own business. The man took a few threatening steps toward me. This was my moment of truth. I took a deep breath and did everything else I could to make my self look bigger, then told him in the deepest voice I could muster, "Every child's safety is every parent's responsibility. Now give him his candy and get the hell out of here."<br /><br />The man continued to approach me, certain I was bluffing. I kept pretending I wasn't scared, and then I walked towards him! I jerked the candy out of his hand and gave it to the little boy. When I looked at the man again and repeated that he needed to go away, he seemed to have lost his confidence, and ran away.<br /><br />I, as a grown woman, was scared, I was also worried about putting my own child at risk, but I could not avoid stepping in when I saw the man trying to get the child to follow him for his candy. I kept hoping a neighbor, the principal, or anybody would show up, but the street seemed unnaturally empty. The poor little boy must have been terrified, and I felt woefully unequipped to protect him.<br /><br />During future walks with my son I carried pepper spray and a rat-tail comb, but I never saw that evil person again.<br /><br />Ardyth</p>
Staff
2013-06-25T18:17:00Z
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Actions-Speak-Louder-Than-Words/-790580508888521565.html
2013-06-24T18:26:00Z
2013-06-24T18:26:00Z
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<p>Yes, I stuck around in a relationship because I thought I could change a man. In fact, I married him and knew on the third day of our honeymoon that I had made a terrible mistake. <br /><br />My rationale was that I believed what he told me he was going to do. I held on to his words as truth. This gave me false hope and was actually a "high" for me. When it would fall to pieces, I was always devastated. I would cry and tell him what needed to change; he would agree to do it, and the cycle would start all over again. I wasted so much life on trying to make a bad relationship a good relationship. It never happened.<br /><br />What I finally learned was he displayed poor character in the first place. That was all I needed to know. No apology or promise ever changed his character! No words ever changed who he already was. Character is already inside a person, and actions speak to real intentions. Actions always speak louder than words. All I do now is open my eyes and trust what I see, not what I hear.<br /><br />Linda</p>
Staff
2013-06-24T18:26:00Z
Fear of Ghosts
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fear-of-Ghosts/601903102149974739.html
2013-06-24T18:21:00Z
2013-06-24T18:21:00Z
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<p>When my niece's boyfriend, (19 years old), died of an undiagnosed heart condition, my 7-year-old son was devastated. He and Matt were great buddies, and he already considered Matt his "new cousin." He refused to be alone anywhere in our house, including his bedroom, because he was sure that Matt would visit him, as a ghost. He believed Matt wouldn't MEAN to scare him, but seeing any ghost would be scary. There was no talking him out of this because he felt that since Matt had loved him so much, he would be sure to try to visit him. It also turned out my boy had just read a supposed non-fiction book at school about the ghost of Abraham Lincoln haunting the White House. There was no arguing him out of his belief in ghosts, since he had read it in a "real book"!<br /><br />No reward we could come up with for sleeping alone would dissuade him. Nothing was more powerful than his fear. I even tried convincing him that it would be wonderful to see Matt again, even as a ghost, because he was truly an incredible guy. Nothing worked.<br /><br />So my husband and I let him sleep in our room, on a pile of sleeping bags and blankets on the floor. He called it his "nest." Sometimes he would nest in his big sister's room, which gave us a break... <br /><br />This went on until he was 9, when we took in a foreign exchange student. The day she arrived, my son announced he was going to start sleeping in his room again, and he did! Male pride finally overcame fear, as he was now more worried about the student considering him a "baby" than he was about Matt's ghost. <br /><br />Ok, not the most elegant solution, but it got him back in his own bed! <br /><br />Myra</p>
Staff
2013-06-24T18:21:00Z
To The Class of 2013
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/To-The-Class-of-2013/973301762042456913.html
2013-06-21T17:01:00Z
2013-06-21T17:01:00Z
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<p>Dear Dr. Laura:</p>
Nineteen years ago I had the privilege of interviewing you while I was a TV news reporter in Bakersfield. I was pregnant with my second child, very sick, and woefully unprepared. Shortly after that interview and after I'd given birth to our daughter, I retired from TV news to raise our growing family. Earlier this year, I rediscovered your program on SiriusXM, and it is now a part of my afternoons.
<p>Several years ago I began a blog devoted to the restoration of social graces, <a href="http://itmannersalot.blogspot.com/">itmannersalot.blogspot.com</a>. It is now also a monthly magazine column for <em>Bakersfield Life</em>. This month's issue I addressed the Class of 2013, which included that baby girl born in early 1995 whom I was carrying when I interviewed you.</p>
<p>Thank you for all of your advice then, 19 years ago, and today. </p>
<p>Blessings, </p>
<p>Lisa </p>
<p> </p>
<p style="text-align: center;">TO THE CLASS OF 2013</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><br /> "Congratulations!<br /> Today is your day.<br /> You're off to Great Places!<br /> You're off and away!"<br /> – Dr. Seuss, <em>Oh, the Places You’ll Go!</em></p>
<p> <br /> In the coming weeks, thousands of graduates will don caps and gowns, receive a hard-earned diploma, and set sail on their idyllic journey to great places. They will no doubt thank all those who helped them in reaching this milestone: Google, Wikipedia, Starbucks and Mr. ATM to name a few.</p>
<p>And they will be lathered in accolades, pats on the back and high-fives. The path to graduation will be like playing Candy Land – frothy, and laden with fluffy, artificially sweetened pieces of advice. Enjoy every last bite of the sugar-coated pearls of wisdom. And after the last sip of your iced mocha, marinate on this:<br /> <br /> No one owes you a thing. Oh sure, your parents may be picking up the tuition tab for now (which may be closed before your first Incomplete), but you are not ENTITLED to anything. Carve your path in life by wanting what you already have, not having everything you want. Living each day from a place of immense gratitude and thankfulness will lower your blood pressure, extend your life, improve your health and wellness, and attract others to you like a magnet.<br /> <br /> Appreciate where you are right now. You may never get that dream job, but find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life. Remember, in this job market tighter than Spanx, don’t give up or consider certain employment beneath you. Manage what little money you have and make it last. Don’t contribute to the national debt, but pay your debt to your community. Invest in making your corner of the world better, safer and nicer.<br /> <br /> Make the words ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ part of your daily vocabulary. Like magic, you will be amazed at the doors they will help open for you. In a world increasingly void of civility and thoughtfulness, being polite and courteous to others will always give you an advantage.<br /> <br /> Discover what moves you, inspires you and brings out the best in you, and then chase this passion to the ends of the earth. What you are passionate about will define you, not the leased luxury car you think you must drive or the crib in the fancy zip code where you think you should reside. <br /> <br /> Living an honest life of purpose will take leaps of faith and involve risk-taking. If you play life safe, you will never truly know what you are capable of doing, or feeling. Your true success will not be measured just by all your wins and getting what you want, but by your losses and disappointments as well. Failing IS succeeding, if you find the lesson to be learned in the experience and don’t let it be a lesson lost. <br /> <br /> Life is not easy. In fact, it will be downright hard when you least expect it. But it will always beat the six-feet-under alternative. Rest your faith in a higher power.<br /> <br /> Don’t marry the first person who sweeps you off your feet. Romance and butterflies in your stomach have a shelf life shorter than a Taylor Swift song; Build your future on bedrock of commitment, respect and shared values with someone you see yourself sitting side by side with in wheelchairs in a nursing home someday. <br /> <br /> Give back, each and every day, in big or small ways. Whether it is holding the door for an elderly person, letting the shopper with just one item leap ahead of you, or volunteering for a non-profit, giving of yourself, your time and talents isn’t for others to do. It is part of your unspoken contract with growing up and becoming a mature adult.<br /> <br /> Reading may no longer be mandatory, but never stop. Read everything you can get your hands on. The more you read, the more you know, the better you are able to converse, and the more interesting you become to others. <br /> <br /> Enjoy the obstacle course that your life will become. That’s right, the student loans, the unreasonable professor, the selfish roommate. You’re not going to be able to rewind your journey like a television episode on demand. ALL of it will become the fabric of your life!<br /> <br /> And finally, laugh often. In almost every circumstance veiled by uncertainty or angst, there will be slivers of something worth laughing at. Laugh at yourself and don’t take yourself too seriously. Not only is it the best medicine, but it is much cheaper than prescriptions. </p>
<p>As beloved Dr. Seuss, Theodor Seuss Geisel writes in <em>Oh, the Places You’ll Go!</em>, life really is a ‘Great Balancing Act’. Wherever you go and whatever you do up there on the high wire of life, be authentically you, and not someone you think others should see. Take ownership of your actions and all of their consequences. In doing so, you will strike the perfect balance, and what really ‘Manners A lot’!</p>
<p>- Lisa Kimble</p>
Staff
2013-06-21T17:01:00Z
We Need to Teach Our Daughters...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Need-to-Teach-Our-Daughters.../-677685853744215303.html
2013-06-21T16:55:00Z
2013-06-21T16:55:00Z
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Dr. Laura, <br /><br />A friend of mine just posted this on Facebook and it immediately made me think of you and how this is the very message you would teach if you were the mother of all the daughters in the world. I wish you had been mine! - Linda<br /><br />
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>We Need to Teach Our Daughters to Know the Difference Between:</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"> </p>
<p style="text-align: center;">A man who flatters her and</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">A man who complements her,</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"> </p>
<p style="text-align: center;">A man who spends money on her</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">And a man who invests in her,</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"> </p>
<p style="text-align: center;">A man who views her as property</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">And a man who views her properly,</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"> </p>
<p style="text-align: center;">A man who lusts after her</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">And a man who loves her,</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"> </p>
<p style="text-align: center;">A man who believes he's a gift to women,</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">And a man who believes she's a gift to him,</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"> </p>
<p style="text-align: center;">And then we need to teach our sons</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">To be that kind of man.</p>
<br />
Staff
2013-06-21T16:55:00Z
I Thought This Was in My Control
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Thought-This-Was-in-My-Control/932059756378055576.html
2013-06-20T18:09:00Z
2013-06-20T18:09:00Z
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I harmed myself for years when I was younger and it took me many years to figure out why. I know that hitting and scratching myself was a relief valve - that pain was tangible, tolerable and within my control. My alcoholic mother and other family problems were not. Once my face was so bruised that my family thought I'd been in a fight (I recently realized that was about the same time the guidance counselor made time to visit with me at school). My mother pushed me to find out what happened and when I told her that I did it to myself, she said, "If you ever do it again, I will take you to counseling." The tone was a warning, not an offer for help. I felt shut down. I spent many years wanting to end my life. I think the only reason I didn't was because one of my 6 stepmothers jumped off a bridge to end her misery. I would have felt embarrassed and like a copy cat if I took my life. So strange to look back on this - I wish I had the kind of mom that I've been to my kids. <br /><br />Dr. Laura - listening to you opened my eyes about 6 years ago. I heard you say something about forgiving - or rather not forgiving those who don't own up to what they've done. That was the beginning of my ability to stop trying to figure out how to forgive people in my life (which was a heavy burden for me for years). I was able to see more clearly where the problems started (with my mother), and someone who had abused me when babysitting me when I was very young. It really was the beginning of clarity and the start of a path of healing for me. <br /><br />I'm still learning - and recently learned not to protect others like my mom. <br /><br />Thank you for all your help. I appreciate you so much. <br /><br />B.<br />
Staff
2013-06-20T18:09:00Z
Self-Harm Is a Quick Fix
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Self-Harm-Is-a-Quick-Fix/-951559065732480785.html
2013-06-20T17:51:00Z
2013-06-20T17:51:00Z
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Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I am commenting to your subject of self-harm. I have engaged in self harm in the past. It is an issue I still struggle with. I have not cut since February 1, 2013. For me, it is a quick way to relieve intense emotional pain. The physical pain numbs out the emotional pain. Then sometimes I will feel great relief or nothing. I also seem to feel the need to have an injury. When I have a scar that is healing I feel safer. It's like if I'm hurt maybe I won't be hurt more. Also it is a visible representation of how bad I sometimes feel. I am seeing a therapist to work on these issues. She has helped a great deal. She is helping me work through the trauma of childhood sexual and physical abuse. <br /><br />I think that sometimes pop culture can sensationalize self-injury. This is sad because it can dull people to the true problem that this kind of behavior indicates. It also may give teens the suggestion and idea that hurting themselves may make them feel better. Like many problematic behaviors, self-injury is addictive. Once it becomes a perceived solution to emotional pain it is hard to think of other ways to truly comfort and resolve the issues. Self-harm is a quick fix. The obsession and compulsion is much the same as that with drugs or alcohol, which I have also struggled with. The good news though is that people can heal and recover if they are willing to do the work and maintain their recovery. <br /><br />Thank you for bringing up this important topic. <br /><br />Crystal<br />
Staff
2013-06-20T17:51:00Z
Feeding Him Like He Deserves
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Feeding-Him-Like-He-Deserves/405421524972730686.html
2013-06-19T18:14:00Z
2013-06-19T18:14:00Z
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When my husband and I first got married we had some intimacy difficulties. These problems were biological at first but eventually it was just in our heads. One night, as I pestered my grumpy husband about what was wrong, he told me he didn't feel wanted, didn't feel that I was attracted to him. Dr. Laura, this broke my heart. I think my husband is super handsome and sexy, but I had let our struggle get in the way of letting him know that. Luckily, I had already read <em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em> so I heard his concern and I decided he was not being fed like he deserved.<br /><br />I now let him know, as frequently as possible, that I am willing to get it on anytime, anywhere. My husband has more propriety than I do, so we haven't consummated any of the dressing rooms, parks or movie theaters that I've suggested, but he knows I am so attracted to him that he can have me any time he wants. When we're out and about and I suggest a good place for us to slip away to he never takes me up on it, but it sure gets him fired up when we get home.<br /><br />Thank you for your wise counsel. I could have poo-pooed him that night, told him not to be ridiculous and continued on with the weak sex life we had at the time, but I've been listening to you too long to make mistakes like that.<br /><br />Signed,<br /><br />Anonymous
Staff
2013-06-19T18:14:00Z
Dating a Debtor
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dating-a-Debtor/740165473783122873.html
2013-06-19T18:05:00Z
2013-06-19T18:05:00Z
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You had a call from a 55-year-old fiscally-responsible man who was 'in love' with a woman who was not fiscally responsible. I wish I could talk to him -- or rather, warn him from first-hand experience.<br /><br />I was 47 when I met my husband, he was 50 and said he did have past financial problems, but emphasized they were all in the past and all due to his divorce. He lavished me with things I could never afford myself, or rather, chose not to buy myself because I stuffed the max I could into my retirement. (I downsized from my previous home and bought used cars.) Due to this, even after a 3 year, $40k divorce, I was debt free. The one thing I emphasized, when dating, was I needed someone "financially independent". I couldn't afford to pay for another's bills. Hubby was going to sell his house; I would sell my house; and we'd get a 'together house'. Three months after saying "I do," I got a nasty phone call saying he needed a loan or they were going to foreclose on his house and repo his truck. Hindsight is wonderful - I should have just let the cookies crumbled, but I didn't. This had a BIG domino effect on everything as the house never did make it up for sale and it still won't even meet code.<br /><br />When dating, before any sex or after 6 months of dating, each should have a credit score done and place all their cards on the table.<br /><br />Your advice, Dr. Laura, about minor children is spot on. My tween stepdaughter has everything my kids (in their 20's) still don't have, plus moral decay from her mom and I can't even suggest she wash her hands before dinner.<br /><br />If anyone has any respect for another, they would not have another person take on any of their bills/debt.<br /><br />A.
Staff
2013-06-19T18:05:00Z
Best Marital Advice Ever
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Best-Marital-Advice-Ever/590378509792835702.html
2013-06-18T17:46:00Z
2013-06-18T17:46:00Z
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<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I was listening to your open remarks on a recent podcast when you were talking about folding clothes and how your way may not be the right way. That story reminded me of some of the best marital advice I received. </p>
<p>Only a couple months in to my marriage I was on the phone with a friend and my husband wasn't home. I was cleaning up around the house and mentioned to her that I couldn't find any of the cleaning rags.</p>
<p>During the conversation I found the rags and the conversation regarding them went like this...</p>
<p>Me- "URGH! I found the cleaning rags! Hubby put them with the kitchen rags instead of where the cleaning rags go."</p>
<p>Friend- "Wait, he did laundry and put it away but put the rags in a different place then you do?"</p>
<p>Me- "Yes!"</p>
<p>Friend- "Okay, here is what you are going to do... Number one, SHUT UP! Be glad he even knows where the laundry baskets are! Number two, if you don't like where they are, move them. Number three, the ONLY thing you will say regarding this is 'Thank you, Honey, for doing the laundry.' If you say anything else I will come over there and hit you over the head."</p>
<p>To this day if I find myself wanting to say something critical about things he helps with around the house I hear her voice in my head telling me to shut up and I'm still scared she will hit me over the head! Best advice EVER! Three and a half years later my hubby still helps with the laundry and I thank her in my mind every time because I could have ruined it by being critical instead of thankful.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Cyndi</p>
Staff
2013-06-18T17:46:00Z
Trying to Save My Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Trying-to-Save-My-Marriage/-244421873451037391.html
2013-06-18T17:29:00Z
2013-06-18T17:29:00Z
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<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I spoke with you recently regarding my emotional infidelity and my husband expressing that he wants a divorce. You told me to finish reading <em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>, let him know that his future will be better, and to call you back in a week. Since I don't necessarily have a question, I decided to write you instead of wasting airtime.</p>
<p>Emotions between my husband and I are better at the moment. We are still working on things and trying to move forward. I will continue to let you be inside my conscience every day and be my moral compass. I thank God I ran into your radio program flipping through channels on SiriusXM. You have changed my life and will continue to do so. I have learned now many of the mistakes I have made. (Yes, I did buy <em>Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives</em> although I haven't read it yet.) I have learned more about myself in the last two months of listening to you than I have in my entire life this far.</p>
<p>I now understand that my man-hating comes from seeing my mother treat my dad in the same way my grandma treated my grandpa. My sister is the same as my mom, despite making a pact with me that we would never become our mother. I also figured out that dating an older boy from age 14 (now married to him) was because I wanted male attention that I didn't get from my over-worked father who was so beaten down by my mom that he rarely talks. And, I know that becoming pregnant at 18 was more a cry for attention for my mom and a 'please don't leave me' selfish act for my then boyfriend. I feel like I have screwed up so much, but I can only make the best of it now.</p>
<p>My husband and I have two great boys and we are married and living a very good life. And if I stop bashing him, life will be fantastic. I will continue to work on myself. I only wished I had a mother figure like you in my life so I wouldn't have sabotaged it the way I did. I will keep pressing forward to be my kids' mom and my husband's girlfriend. Also, I get to stay home with my boys and I am so grateful. I work overnights and weekends as an in-home caregiver for the elderly. Thank you for all you do!!</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Josie</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2013-06-18T17:29:00Z
"God Grant Me the Serenity..."
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/God-Grant-Me-the-Serenity.../74269949356342188.html
2013-06-17T19:56:00Z
2013-06-17T19:56:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1371492217864_3512" class="yiv589090697MsoNormal"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1371492217864_3511" style="font-size: 10.5pt;"> </span></p>
<p class="yiv589090697MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="yiv589090697MsoNormal">Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />Thank you so much for your recent comments on alcoholism. I have been replaying those few minutes of your show over and over on my iPod and thinking about it very carefully. I am new in recovery with AA and have 104 days clean and sober. I am a medical professional, currently taking time off to get my head on straight so I can rejoin the "three-dimensional" society again (LOL) and continue my life's passion of helping others.<br /><br />You are correct, it is a long road that I must do myself but with the help of others who share my problem, who have done it before me, and know how to do it correctly. I am taking responsibility for the chaos I've caused, not my "disease", and making restitution to those I have harmed. Thank you for the words "guts and courage" you said that we have when we decide to walk away from self-destruction. I've always wanted to say I displayed those characteristics and now I can, without reservation.<br /><br />I walked into my home-group AA meeting last Monday morning, only to find out that one of our most beloved members had been found dead in his truck with empty alcohol bottles next to him. Other than that, we had no information on the exact reason of his death other than speculation. It hit our group very hard and it was a bitter reality to face, but I've done it sober. I had to remind myself of the first line of the Serenity Prayer that you so often refer to...."God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change - like other people, etc..." Alcoholics will choose to roll the dice and die from choosing to drink just one more time as we in AA are dying to help save those who really want to be saved. I grieve for his family who are suffering even more now.<br /><br />You are correct and I agree, wholeheartedly, it is a choice not to drink. I've learned that my best thinking brought me a seat in AA and now my best thinking is transforming me into a woman who is courageous, gutsy, honest and is "doing the right thing".<br /><br />Thank you for your wisdom,<br /> <br /><br />P.</p>
<strong> </strong>
<p> </p>
Staff
2013-06-17T19:56:00Z
How to Care for Your Wife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-to-Care-for-Your-Wife/-310095412781233479.html
2013-06-17T19:50:00Z
2013-06-17T19:50:00Z
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1371492217864_3512" class="yiv589090697MsoNormal"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1371492217864_3511" style="font-size: 10.5pt; font-family: "Arial", "sans-serif"; color: black;"></span></p>
<p class="yiv589090697MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="yiv589090697MsoNormal">I heard you say you never wrote the book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Wives" because it would be only one two-word chapter simply saying, "Yes Ma'am".<br /><br />While this is largely true, I would like to write the second chapter. "Sex and Foreplay" is also a very short chapter and would simply say, "In marriage there is sex and foreplay. Sex is sex; everything else is foreplay.<br /><br />Your friend forever,<br /><br />Steve</p>
<strong> </strong>
<p> </p>
Staff
2013-06-17T19:50:00Z
Learning the Gift of Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-the-Gift-of-Love/-907268511486605293.html
2013-06-14T18:00:00Z
2013-06-14T18:00:00Z
<br />
<p>When I was a little girl the first thing I remember about my father was how close he was to my mom. I remember a lot of hugs and kisses and quiet laughter between them. When they needed to discuss a problem about us kids, finances or a personal issue, they would sit at the small table in our tiny kitchen drinking their tea and coffee, and again quietly talk it out. I never felt scared or afraid as a kid that my parents would ever split up, because of the always quiet intimacy that went on between them. They both were so committed to each other and their family. They were my first example of true love, and I remember in later years after our mom died, I thanked my dad for giving us the gift of loving our mother the way he did.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Debbie</p>
Staff
2013-06-14T18:00:00Z
I Admire My Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Admire-My-Dad/987099568732821564.html
2013-06-14T18:00:00Z
2013-06-14T18:00:00Z
<br />
<p>My father's mother died when he was four years old. He was left with an abusive father and raised by his older sister. He never fully experienced love from the woman who gave him life and never received support from a father who was supposed to love and protect him - he vowed to not repeat his past and to be the best father he could be.<br /> <br /> He married at the age of 22 and lived off a small military salary raising four kids. Because he was such a great money manager, my mother was able to stay home until all of the kids finished high school - she always said he could turn a nickel into a dime. <br /> <br /> With no foundation of what a family should be, he loved his children and never raised a hand to us - he only used a firm voice. As a young woman growing up I cannot remember a time he wasn't there. Every time I hit a home-run while playing softball or made a great play during a basketball game, I would look in the stands and there he was proud as ever. Every social event, play, teacher conference, broken arm, broken heart, broken dreams etc he was there!<br /> <br /> Because my father was there, I survived the death of a sibling at the age of 14, being raped at the age of 18 and losing my virginity. The last straw was when my ex ended my 18 year career because I finally found the guts to leave an abusive relationship. Recognizing that I may be giving up, my father allowed me the appropriate time to grieve, held me in his arms and firmly told me, "No kid of mine is going to give up - it is time for you to stand up and take your life back!" Because he was a strong father figure I was able live through my life circumstances without turning to drugs or finding ways to ease my pain. I often wonder how I can repay this man for all he has done and for making me the woman I am today. There are moments in my life that take my breath away when I think about how much my father loves me, I am so grateful and appreciative.<br /> <br /> My parents are still together after 53 years because my father said, "no matter how hard it gets I will never leave my children". He never let his past become his present. What a great man he is, he loved us enough to stick it out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tiffany<strong></strong></p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2013-06-14T18:00:00Z
Dad Showed Me the Right Way to Parent
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dad-Showed-Me-the-Right-Way-to-Parent/-114838434873833373.html
2013-06-13T17:40:00Z
2013-06-13T17:40:00Z
<br />
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,<br /> <br /> I had a mother who often during my childhood I would wish my dad would divorce and take my sister and me with him. I often believed and still do that she simply did not like females. My brother, who was into drugs, alcohol and problems with the law could do no wrong in her eyes. No matter what he did, she would bail him out. Yet, with my sister and I, nothing we did was worth her attention. On my 16th birthday, she didn't speak a word to me the entire day. On my 18th birthday, she bought my older brother a new car because, as she said "He deserved it more than you". She didn't attend my high school graduation because she was tired and didn't believe it was important to be there. For 4 years, I played softball. Not once did she come to a game or drive me to a practice. <br /> <br /> So, let's bring in my dad. He was raised to stick by your wife no matter what. Yes, he hated the way she treated me and my sister and he did what he could to make it up to us, but at the same time not make my brother feel like he wasn't important. He made sure, after working 10 hour days, to practice throwing a softball to me. He would leave work on a break to take me to practice even though I offered to walk. He made certain to go to all of my games. And, on my birthdays, he made sure I had a cake with candles and at least one present to open up. His cards were always hand written with "hang in there" and "don't ever believe you are not loved", etc. He did what he could to convince me that my mom's lack of love was not something I did wrong. He always made sure to let me know that he was proud of me. My brother was a biological child, however my sister and I were adopted. He always made sure to tell us that even though we were not of "blood", that we were his children just as much as his son. My mom would often say that adopting us was the biggest mistake she ever made because having a son was all she needed. <br /> <br /> I thank God every day for my Dad. He did the best he could given the situation. To this day, I unfortunately have a ton of resentment toward my mother that even at the age of 50 I don't believe I will ever overcome. However, my dad made sure that I knew he loved me and was proud of what I accomplished. He showed me the right way to be a parent and every day I remind my children they are loved and appreciated and that I am proud to be their mom.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Wendy</p>
Staff
2013-06-13T17:40:00Z
When Dads Talk, Kids Listen
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-Dads-Talk,-Kids-Listen/797439673633865388.html
2013-06-13T17:37:00Z
2013-06-13T17:37:00Z
<br />
<p>When I was 16 years old I was seeing a lot of pregnant girls in my high school. I found this to be strange as I was still a virgin and was taught you do not have sex until you are married. Puzzled by the girls I was seeing, I asked my Dad that night what he would do if I came home pregnant. My Dad looked me in the eye and stated "I hope you have more respect for me than that". Dad didn't say a whole lot, but when he did, all of us kids listened. <br /> <br /> Sadly, he passed away at the age of 70 after raising five of us, two grandchildren and a whole lot of our friends and neighbor kids. I'm so thankful my Dad taught me the things he did.</p>
<br />
<p>Terri</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2013-06-13T17:37:00Z
I Can't Choose What I Admire Most About My Father
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Cant-Choose-What-I-Admire-Most-About-My-Father/393827064959434941.html
2013-06-12T17:45:00Z
2013-06-12T17:45:00Z
<br />
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I can name so many things:</p>
<p>He is a (living) WWII veteran who had nightmares every night when he first came back from the war, and yet he never complains about anything.</p>
<p>When our mother was severely ill when I was 11, in addition to his two jobs, he did the laundry, cooking and made our beds.</p>
<p>He always has the wisest advice and he's always been in my corner encouraging me.</p>
<p>He is so kind. He has rescued many animals and taken them to the vet at his own expense.</p>
<p>He always gives so much and yet asks for nothing at all.</p>
<p>I just can't choose.</p>
<p>Lisa</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2013-06-12T17:45:00Z
Respect for My Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Respect-for-My-Mother/-221348957302001873.html
2013-06-12T17:43:00Z
2013-06-12T17:43:00Z
<br />
<p>We lost my dad very suddenly last September. It has been very difficult. He and my mom had been married for 51 years.</p>
<p>He was a much admired man by many. But as his daughter, the thing I grew to admire most was the way he respected my mother and required us to treat her with respect. When we were kids if he wasn't home we would get away with little things sometimes, talking sassy to her. It was a different world when he was in ear shot. Dad let us know in no uncertain terms that she was to be treated with the greatest respect.</p>
<p>We are a very close family. We all live within 30 miles of our parent's home. It is an absolute pleasure to see my siblings take wonderful care and pay close attention to my mother's needs now that she doesn't have my dad to do it for her. He taught us well.</p>
<p>Connie </p>
Staff
2013-06-12T17:43:00Z
Memories of My Father
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Memories-of-My-Father/816142647773293536.html
2013-06-11T16:51:00Z
2013-06-11T16:51:00Z
<br />
<p>My dad was a hard worker. He was a dairy farmer and we had 50 milking cows, plus many more steers and calves. Every day he got up early. Often I would be awake by 5:30 and find him in the barn. My earliest memories of him never changed. He would get up early, work hard, then milk the cows again every night. But one thing was different about my dad. Every day after dinner he would make time for my three brothers and me. He taught us how to play cards, 5 card poker, pool, ping pong, etc. Every kind of indoor activity we could do in Minnesota in the cold winters he did with us. He acted like there was nothing more important that he had to do than spend time with us. Then he would go out to milk the cows.</p>
<p>When I got older I liked to go out and help him by raking mangers, feeding the cattle hay and laying out fresh straw for the cattle to lay on. He was constantly showing us how far he could shoot milk to the cats. We would follow him around while he worked and help him even though I was only 7 years old. He showed us how to trap, let us each have turns snowmobiling, took us ice fishing, and every evening in the summer took us on drives out "west" showing us deer and wildlife. When my cat turned out to be a chicken killer he spared my cat's life, that is until I caught my cat in the act. He let us have a funeral service and invite the neighbor kids. When I got older and discovered I was getting muscles from cleaning the managers, I announced I was done and he let me quit. When I found out live snakes were baled in the hay bales, he allowed me to stop working in the fields because I freaked out and refused to set foot in the fields again. He hired a helper.</p>
<p>When I made a bad choice in the guy I dated, he forbade my date to ever enter his doorstep again. When I later made the mistake of marrying that same guy, Dad walked me down the aisle and when I left home on my wedding day I saw my dad cry the first time in my life.</p>
<p>I lost my dad three years ago, but every time I think of him, I smile and remember nothing but good memories of this kind, generous, wise gentle man.</p>
<p>Jeanette</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2013-06-11T16:51:00Z
What I Learned From My Father
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-I-Learned-From-My-Father/-946013592022423260.html
2013-06-11T16:44:00Z
2013-06-11T16:44:00Z
<br />
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am an intense person who doesn't like to do anything half-way just like my father. I don't like to give up, and will tenaciously try to find the 3rd way of solving a problem. I am a positive optimist, looking at the positive aspects of an unhappy outcome or a bump in the road. I like to stay on the sunny side of life.</p>
<p>I have a hard time sitting still through a sports event because I get totally sucked into the action. Piano recitals are a piece of cake! I supported our daughters, giving encouragement when needed. All these things I learned from my father and the older I get, the more I realize how much I am like him.</p>
<p>I miss him terribly, but know I'll see him again when I go home to be with the Lord.</p>
<p>Julie</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2013-06-11T16:44:00Z
My Dad Parented Someone Else's Child - Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Dad-Parented-Someone-Elses-Child---Me/-356981684911908497.html
2013-06-10T18:00:00Z
2013-06-10T18:00:00Z
<br /><br />
<p>I am referring to my "real" dad, the one who raised me. Not the bio-dad who bailed when I was 8.</p>
<p>I do not have his insane love for cleanliness and organization. I'm sure my hubby would love it if I did.</p>
<p>While I did learn Irish stubbornness from him, I also received a gift from him. Faith. He taught me to believe fiercely in the Lord. He also taught me that the Lord loves me, no matter what. As a corollary, he, my daddy, would love me regardless of any stupid choices I made. After years of fighting, as often happens in step-families, I knew he was my "soft place to land." He was very hard on me as a kid. As an adult and a parent of three I know it was because he knew I could do better. He had faith in me.</p>
<p>My mother is an amazing woman. She chose well the second time around. I will always be grateful for that. I just wish my daddy were still here to see my kids grow. Hopefully, the faith I have in my kids will serve to benefit his legacy. I miss him every day.</p>
<p>Many men would not be able to parent someone else's child. He rose to the task.</p>
<p>Kellie</p>
<br />
Staff
2013-06-10T18:00:00Z
Daddy's Advice to Live By
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Daddys-Advice-to-Live-By/-137353069246264896.html
2013-06-10T18:00:00Z
2013-06-10T18:00:00Z
<br />
<p>Daddy died on Labor Day 3 years ago. He was a man of short statute but he was bigger than life with a booming voice. Mama and Daddy had a blessed surprise ten years after my middle sister was born; that was me. They were determined to raise me differently than my other 2 siblings who are 11 months apart. (Honestly, my Daddy wished and thought I was the boy he always wanted.) He was hard on all of us, but an extra dose of it went to me. I didn't understand as a child, but I surely understand his methods now.</p>
<p>He left me with: "Always standup for something; never be lukewarm in anything. If you picked the right thing to standup for, then it will be shown to you."</p>
<p>This has served me well in life. Due to this, my integrity in life made me respectful of others. It certainly helped my husband and me in raising our 2 daughters who say they are grateful for the way they were raised.</p>
<p>Thank you, Daddy.</p>
<p>From a grateful daughter,</p>
<p>Donna</p>
Staff
2013-06-10T18:00:00Z
Surviving Betrayal
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Surviving-Betrayal/418408085372975256.html
2013-06-07T18:10:00Z
2013-06-07T18:10:00Z
<br /><br />Recently, I joined the Dr. Laura Family Premium as an annual member and received your book, "Surviving a Shark Attack (on Land): Overcoming Betrayal and Dealing with Revenge" as a bonus gift. I was going to give it to somebody as a gift until I received it and saw the second part of the title regarding betrayal - then I decided to read it.<br /><br />I am surviving betrayal (not easy) and worse, it is family turning against me to take my mother's side. They believe what her horrific stories and accusations about me. And yesterday, I learned I was 'booted out of my family's annual reunion' because of her. When I contacted the person organizing it, this is the response I received:"You are my cousin and I love you, but do not ask me to get involved. You are the one who is best equipped to work things out for yourself. I do not take sides, nor do I get involved... Never have, never will, not even in my own family." <br /><br />In the end, I am not losing much with such a family and they can all go to hell - I don't need people like that.<br /><br />Again Dr. Laura, you are right!!! <br /><br />The darkest places in hell are reserved for people who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis ... and ... in the end we will not remember the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends.<br /><br />Thanks for everything, Dr. Laura.<br /><br />Carole<br />
Staff
2013-06-07T18:10:00Z
My Hardest Goodbye
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Hardest-Goodbye/429143359824700033.html
2013-06-07T18:05:00Z
2013-06-07T18:05:00Z
<br /><br />I just want to cry thinking about it. I had to say goodbye to my daddy just a few months after getting engaged. It meant that he was not going to walk me down the aisle. It was so hard to hear the doctor tell us in the waiting room that they did all that they could as I had no clue his condition was life-threatening. He told nobody. I am grateful I was there to tell him I loved him before he died, but it was so painful to let him go. Nobody can ever take the place of your daddy. <br /><br />Liisa<br />
Staff
2013-06-07T18:05:00Z
Stop Repairing Parent-Child Relationships
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stop-Repairing-Parent-Child-Relationships/67367409786229133.html
2013-06-06T17:58:00Z
2013-06-06T17:58:00Z
<br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I was listening to your program when a call really resonated with me. You were talking to a woman had been married for 4 years, but separated for 2 of them. She and her husband had been through therapy and he had always suspected her of cheating even while they were dating although this wasn't the case. You asked her about her parents and her relationship with them. Then you told her that she sought out this relationship because she was trying to repair the relationship with her mother/father. You told the caller she sought out someone who was unavailable due to his own emotional issues and she didn't marry him but married a situation she was trying to repair. <br /><br />I could have cried then and there. I have spent years trying to figure out why I gravitate toward the same type of man and the answer is because in some way they remind me of my father - emotionally unavailable, unsupportive, not capable of developing a true connection about anything more than discussing the weather, etc. <br /><br />And THEN you dropped the bombshell! If the caller or me found a healthy man we would 1) be scared to death and 2) not know what to do with one. Sadly, you are correct on both counts. I know that and I am trying to understand how to change that in me. I very much want a loving, kind, caring man and long to be my future husband's girlfriend if I could just get the "choosing wisely" part down. <br /><br />Thank you and God bless you for what you do. You have helped me over the years more than you can ever know.<br /><br />Leigh<br />
Staff
2013-06-06T17:58:00Z
Reading to Toddlers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Reading-to-Toddlers/960233046082314863.html
2013-06-06T17:52:00Z
2013-06-06T17:52:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I am not a morning person! This had never been truer than when I was pregnant with my second daughter and caring for a 20 month old. Breakfast was a pain, filled with spills, whining, and general horsing around. I was tired, sick, and not really wanting to deal with this any longer when I thought, "I act up when I want attention; maybe my little one is doing the same?"<br /><br />I had her help me unpack all the old books I had loved to read so much. She was drawn immediately to "Stuart Little." Sure these were not picture books, but they had enough to keep her interested. As I read to her and showed her the pictures she quietly ate her food and listened.<br /><br />Both of my children are still very young and are working on their language skills. Every morning after we say Grace, they both beg me to, "Read! Read!"<br /><br />Love and Thanks,<br /><br />Al<br />
Staff
2013-06-06T17:52:00Z
We're Not Married
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Were-Not-Married/833785000602445745.html
2013-06-05T18:07:00Z
2013-06-05T18:07:00Z
<br /><br />How things have changed in our culture. There was a 1950's movie on TV this week that depicts how different things have changed in this country. The movie is "We're Not Married". A Justice of the Peace married six couples before his position was legal. Two years after the marriages, one couple filed for divorce only to learn they were in luck because they were not legally married. The Justice had to feverishly track five couples down to inform them of the error. <br /><br />Couple #5 was in a situation that would be unheard of today. The husband was in the Army on his way to war when his wife wrote him they were going to have a baby. He had also just received the letter informing them they were not legally married. There was a panic as he didn't want his child to be born out of wedlock because of the stigma of being a bastard child. Suppose he was killed in the war before they could be legal married? He was actually on a ship when a Chaplain, who was on shore with his woman, married them using radio communications. The Chaplain had a cross on his uniform and actually mentioned Jesus Christ as part of the ceremony. There would be outrage today if that was a current movie. Actually, I believe, the story would even be produced today. And we are supposedly so tolerant.<br /><br />The movie reminded me of the public moral standards that existed then. Two of the couples, in bedroom scenes, each had single beds. Even though the stories were fictional, they did not allow actors to be shown in the same bed. There was a Board of Censors which kept movies clean. It represented our moral standards of society. Women were actually put on pedestals then. The move was a star-studded including Ginger Rogers, Fred Allen, Marylin Monroe, Paul Douglas, Eve Arden, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Louis Calhern, and Eddie Bracken. It was produced in July 1952, just before my senior year in high school. Contrast that with the cultural background of today. It is why those of my generation abhor what is currently happening. <br /><br />And we are the dinosaurs who were brought up in a much more decent society.<br /><br />Stan<br />
Staff
2013-06-05T18:07:00Z
A Good Mother- and Daughter-in-Law Relationship
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Good-Mother--and-Daughter-in-Law-Relationship/370053386542552338.html
2013-06-05T17:59:00Z
2013-06-05T17:59:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have a wonderful granddaughter who belongs to my son. And I have to tell you he picked a keeper for his wife. I have never had to worry about my grandchild going hungry or being neglected. My daughter-in-law is a wonderful mother and wife. I refer to her as my daughter and she refers to me as 2nd Mom. She posted this below on my Facebook page for Mother's Day:<br /><br />"2nd Mom Happy Mother's Day<br /><br />You are such a special person to me and our family. I never dreamt how close we would become that day I met you in the Days Inn 11 years ago. Derek always bragged about how great his mom was and how I would love you… Little did I know you'd become a part of my heart. You held my hand through the whole 22 hours of labor when my mom couldn't be there. When you flew my mom in to see me after the birth, was one of the greatest gifts anyone has ever bestowed on me. It makes me cry just recalling unexpectedly seeing my mom's face walk into that hospital. Just a total wow! <br /><br />You have always let me be lazy when I'm around you. You are so simple and easy to please. I truly have a home away from home. Thank you for loving me, loving and spoiling my baby, and for raising a good man. <br /><br />I love you. Happy Mother's Day."<br /><br />Dr. Laura, I told my son when he married his wife, she was the number one woman in his life. I also have to share one more thing. My daughter-in-law told me she loved my ex-husband because he was my son's dad, but she loved me because I was her friend. I felt that was the highest compliment I could ever get from my other daughter.<br /><br />Dr. Laura, thanks for helping so many people everyday.<br /><br />Nancy<br />
Staff
2013-06-05T17:59:00Z
The Mother/Daughter Relationship
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Mother/Daughter-Relationship/-948104329962772980.html
2013-06-04T18:32:00Z
2013-06-04T18:32:00Z
<br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I come from a bad childhood to a great life! <br /><br />The history of my family on my maternal side is that daughters and mothers did not get along for several generations. My mother was horrible!! As a child I knew what type of mother I wanted to be. <br /><br />I never allowed the doctor to tell me the sex of either of my pregnancies, but I just knew my second child was a girl. While driving after a doctor's appointment to pick up my 4-year-old son, who was been watched by Grandpa, I was stressing that I knew I would have a girl and was worried about having a horrible and painful relationship with my daughter. As I picked up my son, I mentioned this to my dad. He looked thoughtful for a moment and said, "Amy, I think you will be the one to break the bad mother /daughter relationship." <br /><br />I put my son in the car and we headed home. I turned on the radio and guess what I heard you say… "Well you get two chances at the mother/child relationship. One is the one you are born in to. You have no control over that. The other is the one you give birth to, you have ALL the control over that one." The light bulb went off in my head! Thank you so much for those words. You are exactly correct. <br /><br />Now my daughter is graduating high school in two weeks and then off to study Organic Agriculture at college. Dr. Laura, my relationship with my daughter is so beautiful it makes me cry. WE love each other dearly and respect each other. She is a lovely, wholesome, kind, caring, generous person without any of the typical teenager stuff. She dresses totally appropriate and wears NO makeup. I have never once had to tell her to re- dress or to clean up her face. <br /><br />I could not have done it without you! True! <br /><br />Sometimes you say things so powerful. Your words truly opened my mind and made me look at the situation with hope because I did/do have all the control. <br /><br />My 21-year-old son is a very nice and wonderful person as well! <br /><br />I want you to know that over the many years of listening to you, you have helped me, my husband, and my kids with your words. We thank you. <br /><br />Amy<br />
Staff
2013-06-04T18:32:00Z
Don't Let the Disease Have You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dont-Let-the-Disease-Have-You/-219681485675031943.html
2013-06-04T18:17:00Z
2013-06-04T18:17:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />On a recent show, there was a lady who had been diagnosed with an auto-immune disease. I would like to respond to this caller. <br /><br />In April 2003, I was diagnosed with Scleraderma. The first thing my doctor told me was, "Stay off the Internet. Reading about this disease will make you crazy. Every case is different and it doesn't HAVE to be a death sentence." This was the best medical advice I have ever gotten. Then in 2006, I was diagnosed with Lupus. At that point, I looked at my doctor and said, "So, you are saying I have Scleraderma and Lupus. But you didn't say that either of these terminal diseases have me." I am vigilant in the treatments of these diseases to stave off the many different "symptoms" that creep up out of nowhere. <br /><br />It is now 2013 and I am still walking, exercising, working 2 jobs and being my 25-year-old son's mom. Yes, I do have kidney problems from Lupus and pain and swelling in just about all my joints, not to mention the fatigue. But, I refuse to let either of these diseases, that will eventually kill me, stop me from living and being the best me I can be. My doctor believes and has expressed that my positive attitude of 'these diseases DON'T HAVE ME' along with the immune suppressants have made all the difference. <br /><br />So, to this woman, I can understand her feeling of impending doom, however, it doesn't have to be. She may have the disease, but, for as long as possible, don't let the disease have you. <br /><br />God Bless her and I hope some of my positive attitude can help her. <br /><br />Thank you for your time. <br /><br />MaryAnne<br />
Staff
2013-06-04T18:17:00Z
Teen Suicide
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teen-Suicide/563228516343938822.html
2013-06-03T19:15:00Z
2013-06-03T19:15:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I called you last week as one of my 14-year-old daughter's close friends had told my daughter she was having suicidal thoughts. You told me to drive straight over to the friend's house to tell the parents. As soon as I hung up from you, I contacted the mother to see if they were home so we could come by. This mother told me her daughter was very upset due to the death of a friend. After a little investigating, we confirmed a mutual friend and basketball teammate of our daughters' had committed suicide that morning (she shot herself with her stepfather's gun on her parents' bed). I immediately told the mother about her own daughter's suicidal comments as I felt there was an urgency to the matter since all of our kids were about to be dealing with the death of their friend. <br /><br />Immediately after this suicide, kids and parents began comparing notes and searching for answers as this girl was bubbly, funny and seemingly happy, not at all a girl likely to kill herself by outward appearances. However, she did give clues such as giving away her possessions, a quote on her Instagram account saying how she wants to be remembered and a text message to a friend indicating she was done with life. <br /><br />This is the second suicide in a month in our relatively small community.<br /><br />We are heartbroken that we, as a community, missed the signs that could have potentially saved our sweet friend's life. In addition, if there are guns in your house, keep them locked up and hide the key!<br /><br />Thanks for all you do.<br /><br />Sincerely and with such a heavy heart,<br /><br />Michelle<br />
Staff
2013-06-03T19:15:00Z
Quit Drinking
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Quit-Drinking/684678247454887946.html
2013-06-03T19:11:00Z
2013-06-03T19:11:00Z
<br /><br />I don't drink daily or to excess every time, but I always want or do have more than one or two. And, it affects my judgment, of course. I have two teenage children and they see what I do. It's hypocritical of me not to practice what I preach. My husband and I are very social and this will change those experiences for us both. I'm 47 and have been drinking for 27 years - more the past two years than ever - several evenings during the week and almost every evening on the weekends. My husband and I both recently ordered extremely large margaritas at a Mexican restaurant with our 17-year-old son observing and doing this right after church. <br /><br />This isn't who I want to be, so I quit today. I told my kids and husband this morning at the breakfast table after a night when I was MIA for an hour from a social event with my husband. I was furious with him and decided to walk home - 3 miles - in the dark in heels. My kids and my husband don't deserve this. I told my kids that as I have grown less responsible for them, I have grown more irresponsible in my drinking. Your alcohol intake can creep up on you. I even mentioned it to my doctor at my annual check up and she was understanding - too much so, actually. You have to monitor yourself and live by the rules you set for your kids and by the expectations you have of others. <br /><br />There are no alcoholics in my genetics. This is a choice of behavior on my part. <br /><br /><br />Cynthia<br />
Staff
2013-06-03T19:11:00Z
Integrity
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Integrity/-173786552664890068.html
2013-05-31T19:07:00Z
2013-05-31T19:07:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />Your recent commentary about people who throw away their integrity and defile their character to get ahead in corporate America struck home for me. My husband spent three years of our life in a grueling routine building a company. It's no mystery that it takes a lot of guts to start a company these days, but against all odds we were successful. It came at the meager price of family time, the great sex we had always had, and peace in our lives (note the sarcasm).<br /><br />We found ourselves relying on our partner to handle one side of the business while my husband handled the other. It took a great deal of trust, but due to the immense work load it also wasn't optional. We were grateful that we could do this.<br /><br />Our success led another similar company to have interest in buying us. As if we were in a twilight zone, over night our partner did some legal but incredibly immoral things to tear apart our company and get in bed with the new one. His primary concern seemed to be where his cushy office would go. After three years he threw us away for his own gain. Offered an insulting position at the new company, we stuck out the job for a little over a month until all our employees were squared away and then we quit.<br /><br />Due to the fact that we sacrificed more for our employees all those years and personally worked with each one to make them successful we quickly discovered how very loyal they were to us and not our partner. Not one person remains of our old company. They have all moved on. Our partner found himself getting a daily reaming from his new boss. Yesterday I saw the one slimy employee we had who chose to stay and weasel his way into my husband's position looked like he'd been hit by a truck. After several grueling months they had finally had a successful week, but they were clearly paying the price in other ways.<br /><br />Meanwhile we have been working our new job. We are stress free. We have piles of family time and the sex is better than ever. Oh, and the great money we are making sure isn't bad either.<br /><br />Funny how our greedy partner burned us bad, threw away his reputation and his character and he is worse off than before. We took the high road. We left in the most classy of ways. Now here we are, grateful for what started out as a sickening betrayal. Every single one of our employees came to my husband during the transition and expressed their deep gratitude and trust in my husband. We were humbled and grateful for all the kind words. It brought us peace. And now we are skipping off into the sunset. I guess sometimes people get what's coming to them. It happened for us, and our partner.<br /> <br /><br />E.<br />
Staff
2013-05-31T19:07:00Z
Kids and College
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Kids-and-College/861889528255418365.html
2013-05-31T19:01:00Z
2013-05-31T19:01:00Z
<br /><br />I think that kids should go to college when they're ready; that's not always at the age of 18. I think kids should go if they have a passion for something which they want to develop in a particular direction. Without a passion for your subject, it would be a rather empty experience, I would have thought. I went back at 28; I was ready to commit, and I had a passion for what I studied - that's the only reason why I was able to finish (after many failed attempts in my late teens/early twenties).<br /><br />Having said this, I don't think college is for, or should be for, "everyone". A lot of what college tries to do is to push our minds into a particular corner in the way we think and view the world. They do this under the guise of "expanding our minds"; but, really, they are just attempting to hardwire whatever agenda they uphold in to our brains (whether it be liberal or conservative).<br /><br />Before graduating myself, I used to be able to enter a room and pick out everyone who had a college degree without even knowing anyone. This isn't because they were the smartest people in the room, but because they had a robotic quality to them: they talked the same way, laughed the same way, held themselves in the same manner. I always thought that was sad.<br /><br />I always like what Matt Damon's character said in the film "Goodwill Hunting" when he was talking to a haughty college student: "You're just pissed because you dropped 150 grand on an education that you could have got for $1.50 in late fines down at your local library" ...<br /><br />That's the good stuff!!<br /><br /><br />Stacie<br /><br />
Staff
2013-05-31T19:01:00Z
Not Minding My Own Business
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Not-Minding-My-Own-Business/520901826556624186.html
2013-05-30T18:09:00Z
2013-05-30T18:09:00Z
<br /><br />About 10 years ago, I was driving our neighborhood carpool home from elementary school. With me were my own 2 children and 3 other neighbor kids, ranging in age from about 6-9.<br /><br />At a stop light, I recognized a 3rd grade boy walking home with a man whom I presumed to be his dad or step-dad. At first, they were goofing around, but soon the horseplay turned ugly and the adult got angry and picked up the boy, threw him over his shoulder (like a sack of potatoes, but facing outwards so his back was arched). I knew this was an uncomfortable position and anxiously waited for the man to put the boy down. He didn't, and minutes passed as they continued on across the crosswalk and halfway down the next block.<br /><br />This intersection was where I needed to turn the other way to go home, but I just couldn't do it.... I did a U-turn and pulled my minivan over, rolled down the window and addressed the man. "You need to put the kid down," I said. "Well, he's disrespecting me and I'm teaching him a lesson!", the guy said. I saw that the boy was having trouble breathing and was crying, upset and scared. "You need to put the kid down NOW - expletive," I said, "or I'm going to call Child Protective Services." At this point the guy finally set the boy down and they walked away.<br /><br />I turned my minivan around and started back on the path home, when my 7-year-old daughter said, "Mom I can't believe you called that guy an a$$##le!" I said, "I did?!" I didn't even realize what came out of my mouth, but it obviously was effective. "Well," I explained, "he really was one and he needed to be told." The kids were a little in awe of me at this point! Of course, I don't typically use profanity - for the record...<br /><br />When I got home, I called the school and reported the incident, which they passed on to the authorities as they are required to do. I knew the boy's teacher and she personally thanked me for doing what I did. She said the boy struggled at school and they were concerned about the home situation. The man with the boy was the mom's boyfriend and "took care" of him while she was working. Poor kid. If this man treated him like this in public, what went on at his home?<br /><br />Now I volunteer as a Guardien Ad Litem for our local CASA organization and help kids who have been removed from their homes due to imminent danger, so in a way I am continuing to stand up to the bad guys.<br /><br />Love your show Dr. L. Keep up the great work.<br /><br /><br />Lisa
Staff
2013-05-30T18:09:00Z
Proofreading While Pushing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Proofreading-While-Pushing/264274871615390000.html
2013-05-30T18:04:00Z
2013-05-30T18:04:00Z
<br /><br />At the time of my first child's birth, my husband worked in media relations for a major sports team. It was two weeks before the start of the season, so he was extremely busy.<br /><br />He kept getting called out of the room where I was in labor to answer calls (before mobile phones), and the office was even faxing pages for his approval to the nurses' station!<br /><br />It gets better. I am an editor/proofreader, and while I was in labor, I was proofreading final pages for the team's media guide!<br /><br />Finally, the frustrated head nurse put a stop to it all, and I had my daughter about four hours later.<br /><br />(By the way -- there were no typos in that media guide!)<br /><br /> <br />Laurie
Staff
2013-05-30T18:04:00Z
There are Wonderful Mothers-in-Law
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/There-are-Wonderful-Mothers-in-Law/-809072865661712206.html
2013-05-29T20:32:00Z
2013-05-29T20:32:00Z
<br /><br />
<p>Hi, Dr. Laura --</p>
<p>My beloved mother-in-law, Elinor (84), passed away unexpectedly on February 23, just 5 1/2 weeks after diagnosis of acute leukemia. Her final days remained packed with focus on her family, all of whom gathered around her to celebrate her life and legacy, to pay her tribute while she was still here to hear it. She was a phenomenal role model in so many ways, and especially as she faced death. Her faith, commitment, and giving spirit continue to be an inspiration even now. No typical mother-in-law jokes to be had in THIS household!<br /><br />For a number of our 34 years of marriage, I would send her a bouquet of flowers on my husband's birthday to thank her for having him. Her son is decidedly a blessing to me, our family, our church, his employer, our community, our country, this world, and I am most definitely committed to continuing to be my husband's girlfriend!<br /><br />My mother-in-law made a similar impact with her life and her choice to be a stay-at-home-mom. She left behind a retired-military husband, children and their spouses, grandchildren and their spouses, and 3 great-grandchildren to follow in her path and will be an honor to do so in tribute to her memory.<br /><br />My husband never did tire of being called her firstborn kid, considering that she gave him respect by treating him like the independent adult she and his dad had raised him to be.<br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, for all you are and all you do. We regularly send your books as gifts to our siblings and their spouses, our 35 nieces/nephews, plus our 13 (soon to be 14) grandnieces/grandnephews. Now that they won't have Jim's mom's common-sense guidance at hand, your no-nonsense approach is even more vital.<br /><br />With much love, thoughts, and prayers,</p>
<p><br />Ramona</p>
Staff
2013-05-29T20:32:00Z
On Dating a 'Project'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/On-Dating-a-Project/875629401530808162.html
2013-05-29T20:30:00Z
2013-05-29T20:30:00Z
<br /><br />
<p>Oh, no! I never hoped to change anyone. I just ASSUMED that they would grow up on their own and I would be proud of them.<br /><br />I figured when someone does something hurtful, thoughtless, stupid, or rude, that they would see how it affected me and they would LEARN from it and never do it again.<br /><br />And when they didn't learn the first time, I was SURE they would learn the next.<br /><br />Ask me how that went.<br /><br />Laurie</p>
Staff
2013-05-29T20:30:00Z
My Kids, Their Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Kids,-Their-Kids/708471749922867483.html
2013-05-28T17:05:00Z
2013-05-28T17:05:00Z
<br /><br />
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p><br /> I do not personally belong to a blended family, but have known and worked with many people who are. The thing I find most disturbing is the immediate desire to disown stepchildren. The best example I can provide is one I had with a co-worker.</p>
<p>I was preparing to send a fax in another person's office and was feeling the need to engage in a little small talk with them. I immediately noticed she had pictures of kids on her desk and asked if they were hers. (I never assume pictures of kids on a desk belong to that person as some people take insult when it's their nieces or nephews - especially when they are not married.) Her response was to say proudly that yes, the picture of the little girl was her 6 year old. Clearly as an afterthought, she mentioned the other 2 kids, who were clearly in high school, were her husband's.</p>
<p>Since that time I have had at least 2 identical conversations with co-workers in blended families. They proudly claim THEIR kids and then sort of give an obligatory explanation of the shame that was the unfortunate result of their spouse's previous marriage or poorly chosen relationship.</p>
<p>That is the problem: stepparents not wanting to truly take on these kids as their own. If this is how they address the kids to people at work, how can they possibly be models of love for these kids at home or with other family members? Why do these people refuse to say something like, we have four kids, without separating out who belongs to who? I can somewhat understand the ladies wanting to note that perhaps older children are not theirs in an attempt to show that they were not teenage mothers or that they are not older than they actually are. I could also understand revealing this information in an attempt to get help in strengthening a relationship - such as when people call your show. But in every case the result is the same, stranger or confidant, these are my kids, and those are well, his or hers. I just can't help but think if this is how you introduce your family, is it really a family at all? A family is joined by the bonds of marriage, naturally or blended, and if stepparents treat their spouse's kids like foreign exchange students who happen to be visiting until they graduate, then the family and the marriage is a sham.</p>
<p><br /> Best,</p>
<p><br /> Sarah</p>
Staff
2013-05-28T17:05:00Z
Bring a Smile to Their Face Daily
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bring-a-Smile-to-Their-Face-Daily/-359213854893150171.html
2013-05-28T17:01:00Z
2013-05-28T17:01:00Z
<br /><br />
<p>Tom and I met in high school. We married at 19 and 20 years old. Right away we had children. We were married for 43 wonderful years with four children and eleven grandchildren. We loved each other, respected each other, and looked so forward to our new retirement time. Three months ago, my husband suffered a severe head injury due to an A.T.V. accident and didn't survive. We listened to you every chance we could and respect your insight on how couples should be girlfriend, boyfriend to each other. I miss my husband dearly and sometimes feel I didn't love him quite enough, but he always said he was a lucky man.</p>
<p>To all you wives out there who call in complaining about this and that. Remember you never know when your man may not be there any more. Do something every day that brings a smile to his face, and a warm feeling to your heart, so if this ever happens you will have many loving moments to look back on like I do.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mary</p>
<br />
Staff
2013-05-28T17:01:00Z
They Drove on By...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/They-Drove-on-By.../924323956269726404.html
2013-05-24T19:41:00Z
2013-05-24T19:41:00Z
<br /><br />A couple of years ago, on the eve of the fourth of July, I was driving towards Yosemite a couple of miles from the park entrance. There was quite a bit of traffic, a long line of cars heading to the park, and it was about 10 pm. That stretch of road is pretty dark and desolate.<br /><br />There was a guy trying to wave down cars; his face and shirt covered in blood. Nobody was stopping. I pulled up beside the guy. He was injured from a head wound. He said he was in an accident and his friends were stuck in the car which was down over the embankment. He told me he'd been trying to wave down cars for 3 hours. I had a hard time believing this, but later I confirmed this fact. Hundreds if not a thousand cars had to pass this guy in that time frame.<br /><br />Sure enough, the car was over the embankment, upside down, and the doors were ripped off. There were 3 guys in the car hurt badly enough to require experts to get them out.<br /><br />So, I went back to the road to get more help. No cell phone service was available. We couldn't get anyone to stop, so I finally had to pull my car across the road to force people to stop.<br /><br />The first car that pulled up had a nurse, and I got her to help. Then I went searching for a pay phone. When I found one, I called the park service and told them where the accident was located. I then headed back. Meanwhile, a doctor had pulled up and was helping out with the injured.<br /><br />We waited for 2 hours, but nobody showed up. So I went back to the phone and made another call. The operator thought my previous call was a prank and hadn't notified the authorities. Boy, was I hopping mad.<br /><br />All said and done, it took awhile for the CHP and ambulances to arrive. The guys Had crashed at 7pm. They weren't extracted until about 4am.<br /><br />The thing that really had me all up in arms was so many people passed this guy, but they were too busy trying to get somewhere. The second thing that bothered me was the park service emergency number had an idiot answering the phone.<br /><br />All 4 guys lived.<br /><br /><br />Mark<br />
Staff
2013-05-24T19:41:00Z
They Walked on By...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/They-Walked-on-By.../-425912226584686565.html
2013-05-24T19:26:00Z
2013-05-24T19:26:00Z
<br /><br />One morning, while walking to the coffee shop near work, I saw a blind gentleman standing on the sidewalk ahead, repeatedly calling out for help. Literally dozens of people walked by him, some in groups, some individuals, leaving him a wide berth as they passed. As I approached, it was clear he was in need of some help as he was now visibly trembling and calling out for assistance. I stopped, placed my hand on his shoulder and asked "Can I help you? I could feel the stress immediately leave his body and after composing himself he simply asked me where he was and how to get to a nearby store. After telling him where he was and offering to walk with him to the store, he thanked me and headed across the busy intersection on his own with confidence. I quietly followed behind him, but he made it to the shop without incident so I turned and went on my way, amazed at his confidence to get around without the aid of sight. I have thought about that moment often, thinking of the many people who would not take a minute out of their day to help this man.<br /><br /><br />David<br />
Staff
2013-05-24T19:26:00Z
A Child's Imagination at Play
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Childs-Imagination-at-Play/502926059490705372.html
2013-05-23T18:06:00Z
2013-05-23T18:06:00Z
<br /><br />As the youngest of seven children, the rest of who seemed to come in pairs and have "older" interests, I spent hours playing by myself while they were in school. I used to search for twigs shaped like a "Y", set two of these up a couple of inches apart, place a straight twig across them supported by the two Ys, and then proceed to lay more twigs diagonally against that one, pushing them into the ground a bit to create a small shelter for a tiny imaginary child. I would pat a bit of mud on it for good measure, or a leaf. Then build a second one, and a third, to have a whole little colony of lean-tos. A variation was to use 4 Y sticks and two parallel straight twigs to build a flat roof.<br /><br />I saved matchboxes and glued them together to build a miniature desk or dresser, gluing a bit of cardboard on each drawer to pull it out with.<br /><br />Then I would fill the drawers with tiny books I made using paper and a staple, an itsy-bitsy piece of eraser, and one of those tiny pencils that TIME Magazine used to send out as advertising. Or anything I could find or manufacture that was tiny.<br /><br />Soon I graduated to a 4-poster canopy bed made from a cigar box, cutting off the lid to place it atop the four posts and covering it all with fabric remnants. Bits of aluminum foil were transformed into goblets and plates; a coffee-can lid and a spool into a table, iris leaves into woven mats, slender green branches into bows and pampas grass stalks into arrows (sharpened with a pencil sharpener).<br /><br />I guess it helped that my mom didn't throw away all the useless odds and ends that accumulate in a house with seven kids.<br /><br />Games with my brothers and sisters were even more fun, and we invented many. No technology, just whatever we found or imagined. God and our parents blessed us with a big house and an even bigger yard, and all the neighborhood kids were usually in it. Those games are the ones we remember even more than the dollhouses, cowboy hats and board games we got for Christmas and birthdays.<br /><br />Thanks to God, and thanks to Dad and Mom!<br /><br />Love ya!<br /><br />Corky<br />
Staff
2013-05-23T18:06:00Z
Child's Play
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Childs-Play/-733581397109645621.html
2013-05-23T18:04:00Z
2013-05-23T18:04:00Z
<br /><br />As a child in the 1950s, I did my homework first, then I got to watch TV cartoons for one hour a day. After that, I had to go out and play. We played tag football, built forts, skated, made up weird make-believe role-playing games. The deal was that I was to come home when it got dark.<br /><br />We were forbidden to go to an empty lot near the train tracks, but we did. There was a tunnel there we'd go walking up, fearing that rats would get us. We would watch for trains near the tracks and hide our faces from the conductor since we had been warned we'd go to jail for being near the train.<br /><br />We would also play cards, Monopoly, etc. Summers were spent at the beach. We had almost no media. We had books, comics, and magazines.<br /><br />I am really sorry kids now can't have the childhood I had: parents easily avoided, freedom to roam, adventures involving imaginary villains and quests. As you might have guessed, I was a total tomboy until my teens.<br /><br />These kids are going to have real trouble figuring out who they are and what they think. Their minds are never unoccupied or free from external forces.<br /> <br /><br />Barbara<br />
Staff
2013-05-23T18:04:00Z
Guy Fun Before Technology
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Guy-Fun-Before-Technology/-260031348083225526.html
2013-05-22T17:01:00Z
2013-05-22T17:01:00Z
<br />Here are some examples listeners sent in of incredibly imaginative fun for boys before there were laptops, smartphones, and Game Boys...<br /><span style="display: none;"> </span> <br /><br /><strong>Allen:</strong><br />Being a boy in the 60s, I picked up a stick and that became my gun and I played soldier. An old trailer was a landing craft. Usually I was an American soldier, but sometimes I was a German soldier or a Japanese soldier or a Russian soldier. Or a stick was a sword and I was a Viking or a knight, or a Saxon or an ancient Greek or Roman or Babylonian or Israelite. The trailer was a pirate ship or the Mayflower and the hills were an island we were sailing by. A line of trees in the ditch across the street was the jungle trail. An empty lot was the Great Plains and we were Indians hunting buffalo. Dad made me a dogless dog sled (we did have a dog) and for three winters I pushed the sled around the empty lot as an Eskimo hunting seals. I picked up the cap of a Ban roll-on deodorant bottle. I held this Mercury Space Capsule up and walked around the block orbiting the Earth before splashing down in the lawn. A mustard bottle looked (to me) like a Russian Space Capsule and I walked that one around the block for a few orbits, too.<br /><br /><br /><strong>Dan:</strong><br />We would grab the lawnmower and mow the empty lot across the street and play baseball with the neighbor kids or football, or sometimes basketball. We rode our bikes a lot. Sometimes we even had rock fights until we got caught. That sounds pretty twisted now that I reflect on it, but it was pretty fun until the spanking stick came out. Nothing electronic. There were only two channels on a black and white TV and we were rarely inside long enough to watch them. We made our own skateboards out of sets of old roller skate wheels and a scrap of board. Six kids in our family and we all turned out okay.<br /><br /><br /><strong>Mike:</strong><br />I loved to play in the great outdoors. We would play baseball, fake war games, cops and robbers etc...from dawn to dusk. I also used to ride my bike for hours each day in the neighborhood. When I was older we were fortunate to have a very nice in ground pool and we would swim as much as possible. One summer, it was so much my little brother who had light blonde hair actually had green hair as the chemicals in the pool changed his hair color (it was very light green). It was never a question of being outside. As long as it was not thunder-and-lighting outside, we were outdoors all summer long and even here in Michigan, in the winter time. We just wore a lot more layers of clothes.<br />
Staff
2013-05-22T17:01:00Z
Gal Fun Before Technology
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Gal-Fun-Before-Technology/-591994730880202292.html
2013-05-22T16:57:00Z
2013-05-22T16:57:00Z
<br /><br />Here are only a few listener responses about what girls did for fun before there were laptops, smartphones and Game Boys…<br /><br /><br /><strong>Sharon:</strong><br />I grew up in Michigan on a dead-end street. We were always up and down the street with our friends/neighbors, riding our bikes, playing kick-ball, or jumping-rope. We climbed trees and pretended we were explorers, had a fun time just sitting up there and talking. My dad built us a playhouse next to a tree with a thick rope hanging in it. We played "Tarzan" and "Cowboys" and put on little skits for neighborhood kids, complete with selling "pop" for a nickel a bottle. My girlfriend and I would read in the playhouse on rainy days and we "camped" in it in the summer with my mom and dad checking in on us frequently. We played different ball games against the door of the garage and roller-skated on the sidewalks and driveways of our street. We were fortunate enough to have an in-ground swimming pool so my friends had many hot summer days of swimming in our pool, having races and diving for coins on the bottom. As a young girl, playing with our "Tammy" dolls was also fun and we spent some time making some of the outfits they wore. In the winter we played board and card games, hide-and-seek in the basement, ping-pong and listened to music, making things/crafts. Outside there were snowball fights, building forts of snow, sledding and ice-skating. We were called in by my dad's whistle or when the street lights came on. There was TV of course, and favorites were the Westerns of the 60s... Life was fluid then, we were in and out of friends' homes; moms gave us snacks; and we enjoyed the occasional sleep-over. We needed permission to venture off the street, otherwise we were deemed "safe" and enjoyed blissful freedom.<br /><br /><br /><strong>Linda: </strong><br />I grew up on a farm where my favorite pastime was horseback riding. Other activities included neighboring farm kids who hiked to our place where the maple trees formed a natural baseball diamond. We rode our bikes to school and generally spent free time outside the house and active.<br /><br /><br /><strong>Dianne:</strong><br />We played outside. We made mud pies and built forts. Different parts of the yard or houses were our territories. Inside we played dress-up, played board games, built indoor tents with chairs and blankets. My big sister would play school with us and teach us math, science, and history. If there was no one to play with and the TV was off limits, I would read the encyclopedia, do puzzles, play solitaire. Also when we were older, we helped around the house and worked in the family business.<br /><br /><br /><strong>Nori:</strong><br />Back in the late 60's and early 70's, there were no malls to walk around in. My friends and I would walk to a nearby shopping center where there were variety stores and a couple of eateries. We would shop for nail polish or hair stuff and afterwards stop for a burger or a submarine sandwich. I would get together at my friends' homes and listen to the latest record and practice the latest dance steps. <br />I remember reading books and the latest teen magazines, watching "The Monkees" or "The Beatles" shows on Saturdays. Our only "electronic device" was the telephone and my folks limited the time I was on the phone, because there was no call waiting.<br />
Staff
2013-05-22T16:57:00Z
Giving Birth in the Military
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Giving-Birth-in-the-Military/70046512416596344.html
2013-05-21T19:00:00Z
2013-05-21T19:00:00Z
<br /><br />My husband is in the military and we have 6 children. I had some very exciting births.<br /><br />We came into the military with 3 children. Driving behind my husband from Kentucky to Texas for our first assignment, I wondered why I was so tired. Soon found out it was baby #4. My husband deployed when I was 7 months pregnant. I had the baby without complications, so after 2 hours everyone went home so I could rest. Then, the doctor came in to tell me they were transferring my baby boy to another hospital with a PICU for possible pneumonia. I had them release me 4 hours after giving birth so he would not be alone. I got to sit in a hospital hallway and waiting room for 5 days until they determined he was fine. Luckily, my mom was down to watch our other 3 kids. I think it was harder on my husband, not being able to help out. I was covered though with lots of good support and he was needed where he was at.<br /><br />Baby 5 came as we were moving to Germany. Planned the move for my normal 38 week pregnancy and of course she was late. At 7:00 am on the morning my household goods were being put in the truck, I thought labor might have started. By 7:30, I knew there was no time to drop off kids. They went with us to the hospital and I did not want to be dropped off at the door alone. (Labor can make you crazy!) I made my husband and the kids run across a parking lot and up three flights of stairs with me because there was no way I was having my baby in an elevator. They were in the waiting room when she was born 10 minutes after making it to maternity. Believe it or not, my husband was able to return home to meet the movers at 8:30 am. I came home the next day to clear housing.<br /><br />On baby 6, we were in Germany (2003), and my husband left for Iraq when I was 6 months pregnant and living about 15 miles from the base. Long story short, my husband got sent home on emergency leave at the end of my pregnancy when his dad died. He flew through Germany on his way to the USA and picked up our four oldest children to take to the funeral in Missouri. I had prayed God would take care of this baby as I neared the end of my pregnancy. He did! After the funeral, my husband and children returned to Germany. He had a few extra days to replace some gear as he waited to return to Iraq. During that wait period, baby #6 came. My husband helped me deliver the baby in the hospital's parking lot. Thank God it was 2:00am, hot, and our other kids were with our Polish neighbor. I can still picture my husband holding out our son, tipped downward, with the parking lot light making a silhouette of them. It was beautiful!<br /><br />Still love this military life. Still in. Now we're just coping with raising happy, healthy teenagers and preteens. This is much more challenging than giving birth! <br /><br />Kathy<br />
Staff
2013-05-21T19:00:00Z
Keep America Strong
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keep-America-Strong/839181994131158569.html
2013-05-21T18:53:00Z
2013-05-21T18:53:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I have been listening to you for many years beginning in Los Angeles in the 1980's and have bought a SiriusXM radio to listen to you as often as possible. Today I was able to listen to most of your show and I was surprised that most of the callers were dealing with a wuss factor/momma's boy syndrome. What is happening to our society that we cannot speak up for good, right, and common sense? I am 72 and I don't remember very many people who could be intimidated. What happened to strength of character? We were taught to be polite and nice, but we were also left to fight our own battles with bullying and nasty attitudes. No one stepped in to rescue us in those situations. We learned to stick up for ourselves, friends, and family members even if it meant a bloody nose or some bruises. Nowadays we "don't want to offend, cause hurt feelings, or make someone feel bad" even if they deserve it for bad behavior. I feel this has made everyone afraid to speak up lest we hurt someone's feelings or seem intolerant. <br /><br />Keep up your anti-wuss campaign to keep America strong.<br /><br />A listener in South Dakota, <br /><br />Lelia<br />
Staff
2013-05-21T18:53:00Z
Divorcing My Parents to Protect My Spouse
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Divorcing-My-Parents-to-Protect-My-Spouse/55656749652872936.html
2013-05-20T17:28:00Z
2013-05-20T17:28:00Z
<br /><br />I have chosen to have no further contact with my parents and brother to protect my husband from the unfounded negative "beliefs" they express about him and the ridiculous requests they demand of my husband. My husband and I have searched for it, but there is no logical answer for why he has been framed so negatively by my parents and brother. That being said, my parents and brother love drama, chaos and self-made battles. I have explained to my husband that it has nothing to do with him personally, as this would have happened with any man I married. <br /><br />So, to remove myself from my parent's grasp I have had to unravel my involvement in the family businesses. To make it easiest for my parents/brother (and I had hoped the easiest for my family), I gave back my shares in their company, requesting no payment for the shares, which I had earned while I was running the businesses for 13 years. I quickly found out that "giving shares back" is no easy endeavor. To make it worse, my parents and brother (who runs the company) have unnecessarily made the process as adversarial as possible. The process is almost completed, but they continue to make up bizarre claims about my husband and request unrelated personal details to finalize the exit of MY interaction with their business. (Sidebar: My husband has never has any involvement with their businesses). <br /><br />My husband is a man of strong character in every sense of the definition. He is a caring man who understands how difficult it must be to have been tied to a biological family who are not only illogical but also lacking in the true understanding of morals and family values. <br /><br />My husband knows I have his back. Any loss I have felt in letting go of my biological family, has no power over the gift I have in a solid marriage and the example my husband and I will set for our daughter.<br /><br />Misti<br />
Staff
2013-05-20T17:28:00Z
My Proud Mama Moment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Proud-Mama-Moment/-267575595528559274.html
2013-05-20T17:24:00Z
2013-05-20T17:24:00Z
<br /><br />Recently a family friend who has made some really bad choices in her life found herself abandoned by one of her worst ever choices: her married boyfriend and father of her two kids. My 10-year-old daughter and I went to help her gather her things and bring them to a safe haven. As we're driving my daughter asked questions about what was going on and why this man is leaving. Suddenly she said, "Oh, is this what Dr. Laura means by you need to find a man not a boy?" Such a clarifying moment! <br /><br />Thank you for speaking out and telling it like it is no matter what people do or say about you! I've listened to you on and off since the early '90s and I must say I absolutely love you more than ever since you've left broadcast radio and have gone to SiriusXM.<br /><br />Jacqueline<br />
Staff
2013-05-20T17:24:00Z
The Hardest Part About Being a Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Hardest-Part-About-Being-a-Mom/-56956865459655373.html
2013-05-17T18:57:00Z
2013-05-17T18:57:00Z
<br /><br />Here are only a few of the many responses received from Dr. Laura's question, "What is the most overwhelming part of being a mom?"<br /> <br /><br /><strong>Mariah:</strong><br />The hardest thing-for me-about being a mom is filling up my tank and letting go of control. I am not a perfect mom, but I love my family fiercely. As a younger mom (I am only 28 now) I thought it was input/output: Put in all the sugary kisses, affection, positive reinforcement and in return my child would blossom tantrum less and poised in public.<br /><br />This is not a reality.<br /><br />So when my child pushes against all boundaries, I need to have my tank already filled so I am not stretched too thin to still enjoy what I am doing and my husband.<br /><br />I can't say that I have perfected filling my tank at all. IN fact it seems that I am more noticeable about it when it is very low or very full but sometimes what fills you up is different and you have to remember to take the time to do it.<br /> <br /><br /><strong>Angela - Mom First:</strong><br />Dr. Laura, I believe this came from you in a book or maybe even on your radio show: "Don't have children until you are willing to live for somebody else." For me that's it! - Living for someone else. All my decisions are not based on what "I" want they are based on what my children need. Living for my children and what is best for my children is what being a MOM is all about. It's hard and overwhelming at times, but the reward is that I can live with myself because I'm doing the right thing. The hugs, smiles and successes of my children are a bonus! Thank you again Dr. Laura for another GREAT rewarding life lesson.<br /><br /><strong>Helen:</strong><br />Yes, it is stressful and crazy raising kids, but the hardest part for me is that now they're grown, they don't seem to care or acknowledge the sacrifice I made for them. I put my whole life on hold and now that I am old and they are gone! They don't seem to acknowledge or appreciate what I did. At least, they don't go out of their way to express it very much.<br /><br />Mother's Day is the worst. I have worked in a business for years where I see the measures people take to say "Thank You" to their mothers. My kids seriously can't send me a card. It really hurts my feelings. Sometimes I wish there wasn't a Mother's Day because it is just a hurtful reminder of how insensitive my adult sons are to me.<br /><br />It's a terrible thing to say, but at this time of my life, if I were to do it over again, I would wait until later in life to have my kids and do a few of the things I wanted to do for myself first. Once I had them, MY life went on hold! Everything I had went to taking care of my kids. I am very disappointed I didn't do things for myself when I had the chance.<br /> <br /><br /><strong>Candice:</strong><br />I'm a new mom; my son is just 11 months. I find I am most overwhelmed when it comes to making sure he is getting the best start in life. I breastfeed, I buy organic, we even have our own laying hens and a garden. Our breastfeeding journey has been so tough, so painful, so frustrating that everyone told me to give up. I knew though, that it was the most beautiful gift I could give. So here we are, many months later, having worked things out beautifully.<br /><br />Since introducing solids, my husband and I have changed our diets to match our son's whole foods, no junk diet. Making sure my son gets the best start to life requires a lot of sacrifice that I am very ready to make. I never knew how much work I would put into something I had barely considered before having children. It's amazing how the parts of child-rearing that one considers overwhelming can at times be the most rewarding for everyone. I love being a mom and look forward to facing more challenges with my sweet son.<br />
Staff
2013-05-17T18:57:00Z
A Teacher Who Made a Difference
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Teacher-Who-Made-a-Difference/-779875422238521869.html
2013-05-17T18:52:00Z
2013-05-17T18:52:00Z
<br /><br />Mrs. Schneider, gave a scared 3rd grader at a new school (me) a tiny bit of confidence and a new best friend. When I arrived at the new school I was put in a classroom with a mean teacher. The first thing she did was give us an assignment to write something. I didn't quite understand her instructions and had a "brain block". Then she gave us math problems that I had never seen before. She didn't explain how to do them, just stuck them in front of us. I was terrified I would do something wrong and she would yell (she yelled a lot).<br /><br />I guess the classrooms were overcrowded. A couple days later some of our names were called and we were sent to a new class with an angel teacher; Mrs. Schneider. Mrs. Schneider was a thin, grey-haired woman with a kind face and a gravely voice. She was kind and firm and I grew to love her. If the class was a bit unruly she would point at us and say, "I'm going to lower the boom on you". We marveled at the way that thin, wrinkly skin of what I now know as a 'flying triceps' would flap back and forth as she waved her pointed finger.<br /><br />Within that first week, Mrs. Schneider recognized I needed something more than the 3 R's. She pulled me aside one morning while everyone was working on an assignment. I thought I had done something wrong. She said,"Denise, I wonder if you would help me." My mind went crazy, what could I ever do to help this very capable woman? She said, "My granddaughter is going to come and be part of this class. She won't know anyone here. Would you be her special friend?" "Of course!" was my answer. Cheryl came the next day to school and Mrs. Schneider put her desk next to mine. I felt so important (something I had never felt before). I showed Cheryl everything at school. Now I had a friend in this new school.<br /><br />When we got older and went on to junior high, Mrs. Schneider moved to that school and taught English and speech. I had the privilege of being in her classroom again. She will remain in my heart forever as my favorite teacher and I love her.<br /><br />Denise<br />
Staff
2013-05-17T18:52:00Z
Creating Ripples of Better Living
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Creating-Ripples-of-Better-Living/261598659031559974.html
2013-05-16T18:49:00Z
2013-05-16T18:49:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I'm writing to you while enjoying a relaxing moment by myself while my sister-in-law and her husband watch my kids. Specifically, they picked up my kids to take them on a fun outing. This might seem simple, but letting even family take them out is a big step for me---because I am your Que Sera Sera caller from last year, and, so, in enjoying this moment, I'd like to thank you again for your life-changing advice.<br /><br />I called you about my fears. I can't even say how strong fearful thinking has been for me, how overwhelming my thoughts can be. You told me about gratitude and gave me the mantra of "Que Sera Sera". You also told me I was shut down and ruining my kids (those fans who respect you as much as I do will realize what a holy crap! moment that comment created for me). So... I started make changes. I started seeing a wonderful therapist (prorated, twice a month visits at a local center because that's what I can afford) who supports my marriage, my mothering, and who is teaching me how to better communicate with both my husband and my kids. She's also teaching me how to be more compassionate toward myself as I work through challenging the mental habits that have caused me so much pain for so long. But that's why I'm writing. I'm not wallowing; I'm growing; I'm doing it. I am doing this for my husband, my kids, and myself. I'm not going to pass on my fears to my kids. I'm not going to live that way. It takes daily work to be mindful and to counteract my old mental habits, but I'm doing it.<br /><br />So, thanks again for the Que Sera Sera foundation. I'm using it today in letting the kids go, and I use it all the time.<br /><br />Lastly, when my kids got up at the crack of dawn this morning, I got to sit with them and hold them because I stay home with them. "Finding Nemo" was on, so we watched the end of it and I had an aha moment when Dori and Marlon were in the whale. Dori says, "It's time to let go! Everything's gonna be alright!" and Marlon replies, "How do you know? How do you know somethin' bad isn't gonna happen?" To that, Dori says, "I don't".<br /><br />Well, I feel that way now. Letting go of those habits of fearful obsessing by repeatedly re-centering myself and not believing it has created ripples of better living in every area of my life.<br /><br />I let go by changing now; I let go by being grateful now.<br /><br />Que Sera Sera,<br /><br />Erin<br />
Staff
2013-05-16T18:49:00Z
Workplace Bites
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Workplace-Bites/853467526543847327.html
2013-05-16T18:32:00Z
2013-05-16T18:32:00Z
<br /><br />This happened to me 20 years ago.<br /><br />I finally received my 4 year degree and was able to move up in the company I was working at. I was offered a job as an HR manager, but it meant moving 4 hours away from where we were living. My husband had sustained an injury working so I knew, at this time in my life, I was going to be the paycheck for awhile. My husband and I agreed to the job and we were going to move.<br /><br />I went first and spent a month in training and actually. I met the store manager and immediately had a fight or flight reaction. I should have run. He was very handsome and much older. He didn't flirt with me, but was obnoxious with the other women. Did I know about following my gut? Yes, but I ignored it. I heard rumors about him and his escapades but didn't come face-to-face with his perverted side until a little 16-year -old cashier came in and told me he was requiring the girls to give him blow jobs in his office. I called all of the women employees in and got written statements and then the call of truth -- I called corporate and reported him. What I didn't know was that the corporate guy was his buddy. Long story short, they tried to fire me, but I had enough information on the both of them to get them both fired. <br /><br />I quit and moved back home. I was thrilled the store manager was finally fired, but it bothers me that he is still out there with potential victims. That job was the worst decision of my life.<br /><br />Marianne<br />
Staff
2013-05-16T18:32:00Z
The Biggest Impact Was the One Never Made
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Biggest-Impact-Was-the-One-Never-Made/373007596008663178.html
2013-05-15T18:38:00Z
2013-05-15T18:38:00Z
<br /><br />Hello Dr. Laura,<br /><br />My mother and father were married until I was seventeen years old, but it was anything other than happy. My mother came from a third world country where she had to drop out of school to support her family. She and my father met when he was a naive 19-year-old in the Air Force and she was just sixteen. She got pregnant with my sister, had me a year and a half later, then moved from her home country to the United States. <br /><br />In some ways I can't blame my mother for her negligence because coming from a poverty-stricken country to the U.S. is like a serf suddenly becoming queen. She had everything at her disposal, and unfortunately that included our family funds which she had full access to for her gambling purposes. I remember her never being there. There are pictures and videos of mine and my sister's birthday parties where she wasn't even present. I remember taking family trips without her. Oh, and also she was addicted to prescription medication throughout my childhood, as well. <br /><br />However, I can blame her for calling me and asking me for money (which she hasn't done in recent years because I outright tell her, "No"). I can blame her for attempting to guilt me for moving into our house. She also claimed her new husband was abusing her which I know that to be an egregious falsehood. And I can blame her for forgetting to call me on my birthday but expects everyone to make a big deal out of hers.<br /><br />I really don't have any excuse for not remembering her birthday since it is always near Mother's Day, but I honestly had forgotten it this year until my aunt, (my mother's sister) called me and reminded me. So, I can also blame her for calling other family members to try to make me feel guilty, too.<br /><br />All that being said, the biblical phrase, "You reap what you sow..." comes to mind regarding her. I'm only giving back what she put in. If she made a bigger impact on my life maybe I wouldn't forget her birthday. She could start by remembering mine after 28 years.<br /><br />There is a happy ending! I am married to a wonderful, hardworking, fine specimen of a man who helped give us 2 beautiful children. The silver lining is worth it all! <br /><br />I have another woman (besides you) that I will be giving flowers, a card, and wishing Happy Mother's Day who has made a great impact on my life. And I fully expect the same from my children because I genuinely love them and want the best for them. The only way to make that happen is by making a huge impact in their lives, which I am and fully intend on doing. <br /><br />Katherine<br />
Staff
2013-05-15T18:38:00Z
I Don't Love You Any More
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Dont-Love-You-Any-More/600528384002812358.html
2013-05-15T18:30:00Z
2013-05-15T18:30:00Z
<br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I have recently heard mothers upset when their children say, "I don't love you any more" or "I hate you" or any version thereof. My mother had the perfect response, to wit, my siblings and I only said it once to her. Upon hearing our announcement she would turn and smile at us and loving say, "But, I will always love you." And she would walk away leaving us to ponder a comeback, which we never could think of how or what to compose. <br /><br />Linda<br />
Staff
2013-05-15T18:30:00Z
Single Motherhood - More Often It's Poor Choices
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Single-Motherhood---More-Often-Its-Poor-Choices/-411366374127774060.html
2013-05-14T20:22:00Z
2013-05-14T20:22:00Z
<br /><br />Hi,<br /><br />I listen to the show on Sirius/XM as I drive between client locations. I rarely disagree with -- more often agree with -- what you say. Sometimes, like your recent topic on "Single Mothers", it is as if you are reaching inside my brain and pulling the thoughts out to say on the radio. <br /><br />Twice in approximately the past year, my Twitter timeline has exploded with angry single mothers, (and their male defenders hoping they can make enough points to get in their women's pants), viciously attacking me with various vulgarities for saying just about what you said. It often stems from a woman complaining about the man they chose to have a child with and then saying their kid is better off without a father in their life. It usually ends with the single mother declaring their love for their child and how they would do anything for their child. To which my responses are variants of: <br /><br />"Except pick a good, non-druggy, non-alcoholic man to have a child with."<br />"Except put aside your own feelings and make a good home for the children."<br />"Except change the behaviors that make you and the father not get along."<br />"Except give up your drugs and alcohol…"<br /><br />I always make it a point to stress that the same goes for the men. (I hold the men to a high standard and make no excuses for their reprehensible behavior.) I also always stress that the preferred situation, the best possible arrangement for the children, is a loving mother and loving father working together to make a good home for the children. I concede that, yes, children can be raised by one or the other and sometimes it is unavoidable. But, more often than not, it is poor choices. And, it is never better and it is not the preferred choice.<br /><br />The response is never pretty. The degree of hatred and vile nature of the replies is amazing. The length to which some people will go to defend their poor choices and deny the damage they are doing to their children is only surpassed by the viciousness and vulgarity of their responses. They respond with the same emotions and "feelings" that got them into the situation; instead of logic and discernment that would have saved them and their children future heartache.<br /><br />Your monologue made me feel a little more heartened that, no matter the hatred heaped upon me, I need to continue to speak the hard truth in the hopes that it will get some women (and men) to wake up and make a better life for their children. <br /><br />Mark<br />
Staff
2013-05-14T20:22:00Z
Children Sharing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Children-Sharing/-931074635296366342.html
2013-05-14T20:08:00Z
2013-05-14T20:08:00Z
<br /><br />When my twins were little, I was at a school conference and was informed there was a problem: one took toys from the other without asking.<br /><br />I asked this teacher "Is the one who had the toy taken upset when this happens?" She replied, "No." <br />"Is it the same one who does it every time?"<br />"No, they both do it."<br />"Do they do it to other kids?"<br />"No, only to each other."<br />"Do they share with others?"<br />"Yes."<br />"Well, what's the problem? It obviously works for them, isn't harming others and they obviously have learned how to interact appropriately with others."<br />She had no answer for me.<br /><br />These same girls are now in their early twenties and are generous, cooperative and still take one another's clothes.<br /><br />They have two older sisters and all spent many hours playing with commingled Barbies and plastic ponies and as a result learned how to negotiate for toys and control of play. I kept my interventions to a minimum and I think it worked well. Complainers were told they didn't have to stay in the game, but they rarely left the play.<br /><br />Bottom line, kids need to play without adults micromanaging. They learn valuable skills that adults can enhance if they teach how to manage the current conflicts. Adults should only intervene if one child is in danger from the other child being out of control and redirecting is the best tool. Children need to learn how to respond to their emotions and desires more than they need to keep some arbitrary adult standard of equity - most are not living in a "Lord of the Flies" situation. <br /><br />Tina<br />
Staff
2013-05-14T20:08:00Z
What Keeps Me Up At Night
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Keeps-Me-Up-At-Night/-612527136446264297.html
2013-05-13T17:20:00Z
2013-05-13T17:20:00Z
<br /><br />My family and I live within close proximity of where both of the Boston bombers Tamerlan and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev were raised. On the morning of April 19, 2013, my family was ordered to evacuate. Thankfully, we had a safe place to seek refuge on that terrifying morning. <br /><br />Ironically, the thing that keeps me awake at night, is not that my husband, young children, and I reside within yards of the those who apparently set bombs to explode upon the Boston Marathon, it is that every time I turn on the television, I hear an excuse or reprieve for Dzhokhar Tsarnaev. It sickens me that when his name is mentioned, it is followed by an excuse to rationalize his behavior due to his older brother's obvious alliance to jihad. As if his older brother's influence somehow nullifies his own evil actions, decisions and subsequent devastation. Every step that Dzhokhar took the morning of the Boston Marathon with a backpack full of explosives was a conscious decision to murder innocent Americans. When he took the pack from his back and placed it under those unsuspecting victims that was a conscious decision to end human lives. The moment he chose to leave the vicinity once the bombs were placed so he and his brother could not be harmed from the inevitable killing blasts, was a conscious decision. When Dzhokhar chose to attend his college campus parties, classes and dorm as if nothing happened the days following the bombing, was a conscious decision. When he chose to hurl pipe bombs from a stolen Mercedes several days later, was a conscious decision. When a police officer died and another seriously injured as a result of this exchange of gunfire was a conscious decision. This 19-year-old adult, decided to undertake an act of treason as well as an act of terrorism upon his own accord. No one forced him at gunpoint to do any of the acts of which he had been accused. <br /><br />Also, his acts took the course of several days. Not once, was there a minuscule sign of ambivalence when he chose to place a bomb of destruction and mayhem, not once was there a sign of remorse for the pain and loss that inevitably ensued, not once was there a sign of responsibility when he chose to hide in a boat and evade capture from authorities. <br /><br />So at what point do we, as Americans, hold somebody accountable for their actions? I have two young children that, unbeknownst to me, were in the midst of evil. How do I teach my own children accountability for their actions? When even an evil person plots and enacts, a horrific act of violence and is given an out because his "older" brother influenced his behavior. At what point, are we going to judge and denounce a person because of the acts of who they are in the present instead of who they once were as a child? The thing that keeps me up at night is that we are so willing to excuse reprehensible behavior because we are so entrenched as to finding why that behavior occurred, as if, the why can somehow prevent future evil from penetrating our fragile sense of identity.<br /><br />Kara<br />
Staff
2013-05-13T17:20:00Z
What I Want for Mother's Day
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-I-Want-for-Mothers-Day/892572908680968733.html
2013-05-13T17:16:00Z
2013-05-13T17:16:00Z
<br /><br />A friend of mine posted this on her Facebook page. - Brenda<br /><br /><br />Dear Children,<br /><br />Mother's Day is coming up, and I thought I should tell you what I want. This way there's no guilty panic or last minute purchasing of flowers at the closest gas station. So, this is what I want, this year and every year after; it's pretty simple really.<br /><br />I want... you to be a decent human being.<br /><br />I want you to be who you are, but don't be an asshole.<br /><br />I want you to work hard at everything you do, because life is too short not to give it everything you've got.<br /><br />I want you to ask for help when you need it.<br /><br />I want you to help others when they need it.<br /><br />I want you to learn how to cook, do your own laundry, pay your bills and know how to clean a bathroom.<br /><br />When you screw up, and you will, more than once, I want you to own it, because it's the screw-ups that make the victories sweeter.<br /><br />I want you to travel, because the world is huge and you are one part of it.<br /><br />I want you to know that even when we hate each other, I will never stop loving you.<br /><br />I want you to play nicely with others.<br /><br />I want you to feed your curiosity.<br /><br />I want you to find a way to do what you love, and realize that that might look different than you originally thought.<br /><br />I want you to respect every human being's right to be who they are.<br /><br />I want you to sometimes be more interested in someone else than in yourself.<br /><br />I want you to know that you are flawed and you are extraordinary. There is no one else like you.<br /><br />I want you to know that I would lay down my life for you in Lily Potter fashion any day of the week.<br /><br />I want you to realize how lucky you are every once in awhile even if only for an instant.<br /><br />I want you to know love, even if it means getting hurt.<br /><br />I want you to relax and not feel guilty about it.<br /><br />I want you to know life can be brutally hard sometimes.<br /><br />I want you to know that you can choose happiness even when the dark side offers you cookies.<br /><br />And I wouldn't mind breakfast in bed.<br /><br />See, simple.<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />Mom<br />
Staff
2013-05-13T17:16:00Z
A Poem: 'Mom'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Poem:-Mom/-721034999986236052.html
2013-05-10T17:36:00Z
2013-05-10T17:36:00Z
<br /><br />Mom<br /><br />You never appreciate mother until you have children of your own,<br />It's then you will remember, all the things your mom has shown. <br /><br />She demonstrated tenderness, patience, love and care, <br />No matter what the time, no matter when or where.<br /><br />Mom wiped away your tears, she bandaged your scraped knee, <br />she took you places and showed you things, you'd never thought you'd see.<br /><br />Mom gave you strength and courage in the middle of the night, <br />and stayed with you, right by your side until the morning light.<br /><br />Mom taught you how to brush your teeth and how to lace your shoes, <br />She taught you how to laugh, and sing and dance away the blues. <br /><br />Mom taught you how to make a sandwich, and later how to cook, <br />She had you learn your manners, no matter what it took. <br /><br />Mom taught you what is rude and unkind, the things you should not do, <br />She taught you how to love yourself and how to love others, too. <br /><br />She showed you right from wrong, by doing what you should.<br />And how to live an honest life by doing what you could.<br /><br />She baked with you and made you cookies, let you decorate a cake,<br />And Mom helped you with your homework, as long as it would take.<br /><br />Have you told her lately that you love her, and appreciate her, too, <br />Have you showed her what she means to you, in all you say and do?<br /><br />So if you haven't call your mother, within a week or two,<br />tell me what you're waiting for, must I dial for you?<br /><br />© Maryanne Dunne May 9, 2013<br />
Staff
2013-05-10T17:36:00Z
Mothers Day Tea....for the Nanny?!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mothers-Day-Tea....for-the-Nanny!/163182390513666194.html
2013-05-10T17:32:00Z
2013-05-10T17:32:00Z
<br /><br />This morning I was blessed to attend my 5-year-old daughter's Mother's Day Tea. My sweet little girl saved me a folding chair in the front row, and promptly pointed me to sit right there where we had the best view of each other. I listened while her class sang and did hand and dance motions to a couple really cute songs. They they all sat together while their teacher read a beautiful children's book that highlights the best things about mommies.<br /><br />Next each child went one-by-one to the shelf where their hand-made gifts were on display. They had each decorated a flower pot, and planted real petunias in each one. Each child was called on to go get their mom's flower pot, and walk it over to their mom and give them a big hug. I was not alone or one bit embarrassed to have happy tears as my daughter handed me my pink petunias, carefully planted in an adorable pot she decorated herself.<br /><br />Then I saw something that made my happy tears turn sad. My daughter's friend walked over to get her mother's flower pot. She jumped up and walked over to get her mother's gift, and walked it proudly across the room and handed it to....her NANNY.<br /><br />It occurred to me that this was the only child who had never had a mother bring her to school. It has always been the nanny. Some people who don't know this family thought she was the girl's mother. I can understand and sympathize with how a schedule conflict can cause you to miss something important. Heck, I am a recovered feminist. I get it! I sat next to one mother who was literally sweating and out of breath because she had dashed over from her place of employment, laughing about how her coworkers literally pushed her out the door to head to her son's school because no mother should miss a their little one's Mother's Day Tea. There was no real tea at this tea party. Just apple juice and snacks. But it was so lovingly prepared, even the Queen of England would have approved. <br /><br />As things were wrapping up, I thanked my daughter for such a special party, and her beautiful gift. I said, "Come here and get a big mama hug!!!!!" Her little friend heard me, ran away from her nanny and charged into my arms right alongside my daughter. Together they barrelled into me and hugged me so hard, I almost fell out of my chair. I hugged my daughter's friend, and said, "Oh sweetie, did you want a mama hug too?" She looked into my eyes, suddenly somber and not smiling, quietly nodded her head and said, "Yes." Then she left with her nanny, who was holding her mother's homemade flower pot.<br /><br />Dr. Laura, I don't have anything poignant of profound to end this letter. I'm just shaking my head. I'm so grateful to be my kid's mom, and that I was there today to give a child someone to hug at the Mother's Day Party besides the nanny. Thank you for always reminding women what really matters in life.<br /><br />Debi<br />
Staff
2013-05-10T17:32:00Z
Handling In-Law Problems
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Handling-In-Law-Problems/-914906065714848882.html
2013-05-09T17:55:00Z
2013-05-09T17:55:00Z
<br /><br />I don't believe daughter-in-law/mother-in-law would be a problem if the spouse dealt with their own parents and resolved any issues so that the other person never had to do it. That would resolve any conflicts. <br /><br />My married daughter and her husband made a pact when they married that any issues which occurred between an in-law and one of the spouses would be completely handled by the child of that parent. Parents are used to working with their own child and have years of doing that. In our experience with this, it works out perfectly. <br /><br />The problem occurs when there's already poor communication and/or conflict resolution between a parent/child exists before the marriage. That child isn't interested in adding more issues to the already troubled arena so the in-law is left to resolve new issues themselves. That explains my issues with my in-laws. My husband does not want to deal with his own issues with his parents much less mine so the relationship is pretty rocky and stays that way. My way of "dealing" with my in-laws is to simply avoid them as much as possible and when I am around them paste a fake smile on my face and interact as little as possible. Oh yes, and have a good bottle of wine handy! <br /><br />T.<br />
Staff
2013-05-09T17:55:00Z
The Joys and Hardships of Motherhood
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Joys-and-Hardships-of-Motherhood/-499070675195559719.html
2013-05-09T17:52:00Z
2013-05-09T17:52:00Z
<br /><br />Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />As I watch my second daughter (out of three) prepare for her high school graduation, I began thinking of the years I've spent raising our girls. I remember soon after my first child was born that I was going to become a stay-at-home mother (I thought for sure I was going back to work). No one else was going to raise our children but me. Fortunately, my husband and I had prepared ourselves financially and I was able to work from home as the youngest entered middle school.<br /><br />What do I enjoy most about being a mother? Seeing our three girls (ages 15, 17, and 19) grow up and experience life and to become wonderful, beautiful, compassionate, strong-willed young women. Most of all, they still call me "Mommy" or "Mama", give me hugs and kisses, and tell me they love me every day.<br /><br />What do I least enjoy? Seeing them grow up only to know the hardest part of parenting will be over soon. I have been blessed that they have had a healthy childhood, other than the occasional illness or injury.<br /><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, for all your years of wisdom. It has helped to make me a better wife and parent.<br /><br />MaryAnne<br />
Staff
2013-05-09T17:52:00Z
Sewing with My Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sewing-with-My-Mom/74176655927876794.html
2013-05-08T19:57:00Z
2013-05-08T19:57:00Z
<br /><br />Dr. Laura, <br /><br />It's so hard to choose just one favorite memory of my mother. I am the youngest of four girls and my mother was a stay-at-home mom and made all our meals from scratch and sewed most of my clothes on her little Singer sewing machine. <br /><br />My favorite memories are when we would go to Cloth World and she would let me look through the Butterick and McCall's pattern books and choose whichever pattern I wanted her to make. Then, on to the fabric, buttons, trim, zipper and thread. We did it all together. If I wanted purple rick-rack on hot pink cotton with an orange zipper running down the back... it was my design. (This was the 70's baby!) We'd go home, lay out the fabric on the dining room table and place the pattern pieces in place and pin them down. I'd cut the pieces out and remove the pins and hand them to her as she worked over her little Singer sewing machine creating my garment. I had couture clothing at ten years old! Custom tailored, one-of-a-kind designs. LOL! Just me and my mom on a summer's day in Phoenix! <br /><br />I love my Mom!<br /><br />Sallie<br />
Staff
2013-05-08T19:57:00Z
Grateful for My Wise Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Grateful-for-My-Wise-Mother/910699670172731452.html
2013-05-08T19:52:00Z
2013-05-08T19:52:00Z
<br /><br />My mother taught me to be independent, think of others, be compassionate, not be idle, try new things, cook and clean, and listen. She told me to take typing in high school so I could use this skill any where. She said I could get a secretarial job to put myself through college with it. Little did she know the computer was about to break onto the scene and be so important in so many jobs! She taught me to have a skill because I might one day have to support a family. All of this came true when at 32 years old and with 4 children under the age of 9, my husband became ill and unable to work. I ended up supporting our family and could! How thankful I am for my wise Mother! <br /><br />Linda<br />
Staff
2013-05-08T19:52:00Z
Mom's Important Bits of Wisdom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Moms-Important-Bits-of-Wisdom/792040303207689852.html
2013-05-07T18:52:00Z
2013-05-07T18:52:00Z
<br /><br />My mother passed a couple of bits of womanly wisdom on to me, one of her sons; I'm not sure if her daughters paid much attention: <br /><br />1) A man will treat a woman the way he treats animals, so notice how he treats his animals. My mother was in the last generation to know horse-drawn wagons, but that old bit of wisdom still rings true: Since a husband and wife are best friends, she should pay attention to how he treats dogs. If she's going to be his kitten she better notice if he plays cruel tricks on cats. <br /><br />2) Girls of Mom's day were told if they wanted a boy they should look at his pants: If the knees were worn out he was a good worker and would provide well for her. But if the seat was worn out first, it meant he was lazy and she would live in poverty. "That couple will never be incompatible; as long as he has income, and she is pat-able." - Ogden Nash C. Allen<br /><br />C. Allen <br />
Staff
2013-05-07T18:52:00Z
I Miss When the Kids Were Little
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Miss-When-the-Kids-Were-Little/-228512082320276675.html
2013-05-07T18:47:00Z
2013-05-07T18:47:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura! <br /><br />What I like most about being a mom is the fact that I have been blessed with 4 beautiful children everyday for the rest of my life. It does not get any better than that. Life is a gift and I would not trade being a Mom for anything in the world. I love each day I spend with them and I love being my kids' mom forever and always. <br />
<p>I have to say what I least enjoy is the teenager stage. I'm sorry to say that, but it is true. I have 3 teens and one 6-year-old. Sometimes I wish they were little again because I miss the hugs and kisses. As teenagers, they don't give as many as when they were little and so cute and innocent. And another reason is because society lacks morals and values. I have them at home, but unfortunately society does not. <br /><br />I will always cherish my family forever and like I said I love being my kids' mom. Thank you, Dr. Laura, for everything you do and for making a difference not only in my life, but the world. <br /><br />Loving mom,<br /><br />Kim </p>
Staff
2013-05-07T18:47:00Z
I Wish Mom Would Have Followed Her Dream
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Wish-Mom-Would-Have-Followed-Her-Dream/-45294279908280291.html
2013-05-06T18:18:00Z
2013-05-06T18:18:00Z
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<p>My mother will turn 90 this July. She is an extraordinary woman, and has been a wonderful wife and mother. She always took very good care of her family...cooking good, nutritious meals from scratch, weekly made home-baked bread, and sewing our clothes. She kept a clean, beautiful home. By beautiful, I mean she could take nothing, and through her creativity she would make it into something beautiful.<br /><br />My mother grew up on a sheep farm in eastern Montana. Modest means, if not poor. She was very bright and graduated from high school at the age of 16. From there she attended business college for two years. In 1941, at the age of 18, she landed a job in Washington D.C. working for the Air force as a civilian secretary. <br /><br />Time passed, the war ended, and Mom returned to Montana, where she worked as a secretary for the U.S. Forrest Service and met a handsome young range manager. After courtship, my mother and father married and had three children. Mom was a stay-at-home mom, but when the kids were old enough to be all in school, she worked, but arranged her work schedule to be home when we got home.<br /><br />Even through Mom held very responsible, high-end secretarial positions, she was so much more capable for bigger things. When I was in high school, I remember her mentioning that she would love to go back to school and get her accounting degree. She never did. I think that she thought it was out of her sphere, and maybe comfort zone, to go back to college as a returning adult student. I wish she would have. I wish she would have followed her dream. She would have retired in an occupation that she truly enjoyed, and I know our family would have supported her in that dream. But what may be, my mom realized most of her dreams, and I am grateful for that. At the age of 90, she has her health, is still living independently and is mentally sharp as a tack. She is still the matriarch of a loving family.</p>
<p> Joni</p>
Staff
2013-05-06T18:18:00Z
She Chose to Sit with Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/She-Chose-to-Sit-with-Me/87376248685210816.html
2013-05-06T18:15:00Z
2013-05-06T18:15:00Z
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<p>My favorite memory about my mom is a very simple one, yet I think of it often. I was about 4 years old, and I had chicken pox. I was miserable. My mom held me on her lap in the rocking chair and just rocked me. This was significant to me because although I knew she loved me, she was very busy. She was home with us all the time, but she had 3 young kids and a household to run. She was (and still is) my dad's girlfriend. She has always had a bazillion animals and a large garden, so she was always busy. I remember feeling so important because she had CHOSEN to simply sit and rock me. I have always felt important in her life because of simple actions like this on her part. <br /><br />Because of my mom, I do the same with my 3 boys, who are with me at our family-owned business everyday. I take time to just be with THEM. I know how much it meant to me, and I hope they know how much I love them.</p>
<p> Marjorie</p>
Staff
2013-05-06T18:15:00Z
Modern Parents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Modern-Parents/671092612774079802.html
2013-05-03T19:19:00Z
2013-05-03T19:19:00Z
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<br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I am compelled to write, because unfortunately, I don't have another woman in my life who will understand what I just experienced.<br /><br />I had a very disheartening phone conversation with one sister about our other sister, who has an 18-month-old baby.<br /><br />Sister #1 mentioned she expected Sister #2 to be announcing another pregnancy anytime now, since she originally wanted more than one child.<br /><br />I commented that I didn't think so, since she seemed to be very overwhelmed. She has him in day care three days a week. She works two of those days, and the third day is because:<br /><br />A. He handles being there "better" if it is more often and<br />B. She needs a day to herself.<br /><br />Sister #1 was quiet for a second before telling me in no uncertain terms she is a huge fan of day care and besides, kids need the social interaction and stimulation. I simply said that in my opinion, meeting and befriending other adults with children the same age as yours is a better way to do that. Her only response was that you can't be all things to your kids.<br /><br />I could not believe my ears. We were talking about a 1 1/2 year-old-baby who can't even say full sentences.<br /><br />I think it is tragic this is the popular opinion among parents now. In fact, its baffling to me that my own sisters share in it. Our mother was a stay-at-home-mom.<br /><br />When my husband and I start our family, I will not think twice about quitting my day job (and "wasting" my degree!) to be a mother to my child.<br /><br />Thanks for nagging. Please never stop.<br /><br />Please sign me anonymous.<br /><br /><br />P.S. I am one of the lucky ones today: I married a real man who feels the same way about raising children. There aren't many out there anymore (at least in my age range).<br />
Staff
2013-05-03T19:19:00Z
Becoming Autonomous
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Becoming-Autonomous/-297562409429344116.html
2013-05-03T19:14:00Z
2013-05-03T19:14:00Z
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<br />Dr. Laura,<br /><br />In less than 30 seconds you changed my life forever and I decided to let you know after all these years!<br /><br />In 1977, I called into your show to tell you I was a new widow with 2 young children and even though I had money in the bank, I refused to write checks to pay my bills. I didn't know what to do about that. In your eminent fashion you put me on mute and in less than 30 seconds you told me 1) I needed to see a therapist and 2) I needed to become autonomous. I had to look up the word autonomous to find out it meant independent; I actually had to learn how to take care of myself. Imagine that, what a novel idea! It took me a while, but I got it and not only did I become a successful independent woman, but both my children did as well.<br /><br />I just joined Toastmasters and last week gave my "IceBreaker" speech using you for one of my stories. People asked me if I ever told you, and of course I didn't, thus I am writing you today.<br /><br />Thank you Dr. Laura, I am so grateful for your advice. I probably would not be the person I am today if it weren't for you. They say people come into our lives just at the time we need them, they stay for a short or long time and you were there for most important 30 seconds of my life!<br /><br />Thank you again,<br /><br /><br />Barbara<br />
Staff
2013-05-03T19:14:00Z
Tell Them How You Feel About Defending Themselves
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Tell-Them-How-You-Feel-About-Defending-Themselves/-19484340623424223.html
2013-05-02T19:57:00Z
2013-05-02T19:57:00Z
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<br />Good Morning Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I remember the day our son entered the second grade...I told him then and there that if he was being picked on, first, he should try to talk or walk his way out of it, but if he could not, and he had to fight to defend himself, I would back him up 100 percent.<br /><br />I also told him if I found out he was the one starting a fight or was picking on someone that he would have to answer to me...and that would not go well with him.<br /><br />That little talk with my son was one I wished my parents would have had with me. I never knew where I stood with them on this subject and it comforts me to know that my son knows exactly where I stand with him on this.<br /><br />Happy to say he's never been in trouble in or out of school. Today, at 23 years of age, he is an officer in the Marines stationed at Quantico. After graduation of TBS, he will move on to Pensacola, FL for flight school.<br /><br />Semper Fi Dr. Laura... <br /><br />Sam<br />
Staff
2013-05-02T19:57:00Z
Prepared for Bullies
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Prepared-for-Bullies/556760849031756989.html
2013-05-02T19:42:00Z
2013-05-02T19:42:00Z
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<br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I am a married to the father of my children, a 9-year-old boy and 5-year-old girl. My son is in tae kwon do and has been working towards his black belt for a few years. Currently, he has a brown belt. He is a sensitive soul and my husband and I felt it was best that we enroll him in something that would help build his courage, confidence, patience and strength. Plus, there is a neighbor boy who has shown signs of developing into a bully, just like his dad. We don't interact with these folks, but wanted to make sure our son was prepared.<br /><br />Our son's school (K through 8) has a zero tolerance for bullying. Each child must sign a behavior contract prior to enrollment. The policy essentially states that if they misbehave, they can potentially be kicked out of the school. However, I do not want to have to rely solely on the school nor their no bullying policy. I wanted to give our son the best chance of being able to defend himself should the occasion arise.<br /><br />I have told him that if he were in need to defend himself or a friend and was in a position to throw the second (and hopefully last) punch, we would celebrate. I do not know how the school would handle a student's decision to defend himself since a fight has not occurred at the school since in started in 2010. But, if he gets suspended or given a referral, I have told him we will celebrate his day off by going to Disneyland or Legoland.<br /><br />That answer made him smile. Lord help the kid that tries to push my son around, I don't think they will know what "hit" them.<br /><br />Best Regards,<br /><br />M.<br />
Staff
2013-05-02T19:42:00Z
Shacking Up vs. Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Shacking-Up-vs.-Marriage/468550029889422973.html
2013-05-01T21:27:00Z
2013-05-01T21:27:00Z
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<strong><br />C. Allen:</strong> The whole idea of Marriage is Commitment. The whole idea of Shacking Up is to AVOID Commitment. Salt and Sugar may look a lot alike--but no matter how much salt you add to a pie you'll never make it sweeter; that requires sugar.
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<br /><strong>Meliza</strong>: I believe that couples who wait, are more willing to act with retropicity. Couples seem more eager to please, are flexible and most times willing to be flexible and consider their spouses ideas and needs after marrige. Rules are present that are not necessarily present before marriage. When you live together, you loose the excitement of the "new" and you can get lazy about your partners needs. There is no "commitment" to honoring vows when you live together without marriage. You are roommates with benefits.
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This is simply my opinion. <br /><br />I purchased your book <em>Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives</em>...this has indeed changed my views on multiple things, including cohabitating! <br /><br />
Staff
2013-05-01T21:27:00Z
No Dating at Work
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-Dating-at-Work/-264762410719635315.html
2013-05-01T18:15:00Z
2013-05-01T18:15:00Z
<p class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2175"><br /></span></p>
<p class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2175">Yes, I did the "date your co-worker" thing. Bad, bad, bad idea. Not because there was a wretched break-up, but because it's just all around bad. Either, you keep it secret and have to do the stress-dance of keeping it secret - not good for any relationship - or you tell people which leads to a multitude of weird interactions with other co-workers. There is the constant nosiness for updates, possible jealousy, or accusations of unfairness. The biggest problem for me was that it just didn't work for either of us. We ended on fairly good terms - or so I thought. Then I started seeing someone else (non-colleague) and there was some seriously difficult moments at work because of the jealousy. Even if the person is in a different department or works a different shift, it can still backfire. My recommendation is do your spouse shopping elsewhere and treat co-workers like siblings or first cousins. We all have relatives that are really nice and even some that are attractive, but that doesn't mean you date them.</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2251" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"><span> </span>At the same time, former co-workers are fair game. I will also say this, if you are already married and both want to work for the same company, this can be successful. Marriage changes everything as the need to hide the relationship is gone and there is less needling from co-workers. Although even if married, I would suggest trying to stay in different departments with different bosses, for the sake of your marriage more than for the sake of your job. </p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2194" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"><span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2195">I worked in Human Relations for 6 years so I am not only speaking from my personal experience, but also from the perspective of having to deal with real issues that can arise from romantic relationships at work. <br /><br />So where do you look? Here are just a few ideas… Friends of friends. Lots of people have single friends looking for "someone." Don't do a blind date, do instead a set-up, i.e. a group goes to xyz event and you happen to sit next to the other single person. It's a great way to meet someone you already know a little about. Pick a hobby and find a group to join. For guys, join a church group, book club, or charity with lots of ladies. For girls, try co-ed sports teams (softball, volleyball, bowling), fantasy sports leagues (ones that are organized not just the random ones online), or try charity events guys attend - like poker games. I met my husband through his brother, who I knew from college. When I found out he had an older single brother, I said "What gives?" and had him arrange for a "chance" meeting. We met 3 times in bigger social situations, and after the third time, he asked his brother for my number and we went a on a real date. I'm a very happy SAHM with 2 beautiful boys. My 3 married sisters all met their husbands through people they already knew, and all are now SAHM's.<br /><br />So go get 'em...just not at work!</span></p>
<p id="yui_3_7_2_1_1367431046264_2256" class="yiv1270113672MsoNormal"><br />Sarah</p>
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Staff
2013-05-01T18:15:00Z
Choosing Poorly
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Choosing-Poorly/-193830634253609394.html
2013-05-01T18:10:00Z
2013-05-01T18:10:00Z
When I got together with my ex-husband, I made a poor choice. I had never had a relationship and I didn't realize how poorly equipped I was. When I finally decided to own up to my mistake and get out of the abuse, I remembered how my mom had listened to you all through my childhood. I realized what you would tell me to do. I took my two little girls and I moved home. <br /><br />My parents are stable, and have been married for 36 years. They also know how to balance me out with the Asperger's (having more than one child with it) and this helps me be a better mom. <br /><br />I also realized you would tell me not to date until the kids are up and out. I extended that to never, since if I were capable of a healthy relationship then I would not have elected to be in such an unhealthy one. The advice I heard you give all those years gave me a path to make what I had created a little better, though clearly it can't be fixed. I can not reengage with him on any level. I have to focus on what I can change or control and try to be a good mother going forward. <br /><br />Thank you for your advice. <br /><br />Rachel<br />
Staff
2013-05-01T18:10:00Z
Keeping Your Cool as a Parent
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-Your-Cool-as-a-Parent/149927660248541382.html
2013-04-30T19:30:00Z
2013-04-30T19:30:00Z
I certainly did not learn to keep my cool from my childhood. Life with my dad was stressful and scary. My mom was not a yeller, but Dad was very intimidating to my two sisters and me. I jokingly say I thought my name was Stupid, Ugly, Dummy, etc. God Bless him...loved him anyway.<br /><br />I thought about the way I was raised. I decided early on I would never do that to any child, mine or not. Yes, sometimes I wanted to yell at my two girls, but I stopped myself by remembering what I went through and how it made me feel. The other big deterrent was to ask myself; if either of them, God forbid, was ill or dead, I would not have this experience of helping them clean up spilled milk or watch them show me how they can really clean their rooms. I would rather have my girls around to "mess up" every so often, than have given birth and now one or both are gone forever.<br /><br />Instead, I put a smile on my face and they immediately know that uncalled-for smile means business. Problem solved! By the way, I am mentally counting to 10 at the same time. This works with my wonderful husband, as well. I would rather see clothes all over the floor then some horrible thing happen in my marriage or to him.<br /><br />Thankful for being a good student of life.<br /><br /> <br /><br />Donna<br />
Staff
2013-04-30T19:30:00Z
How I Stop Myself from Yelling
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Stop-Myself-from-Yelling/464256829864087516.html
2013-04-30T19:27:00Z
2013-04-30T19:27:00Z
Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I put myself in their shoes . . . it's easy for me because I was very sensitive as a child. I remember my mom yelling at me when I made a mistake or broke something on accident. It made me feel really bad--in fact, I still remember breaking my mom's pedestal cake dish when I was a teen. (I stretched the phone cord across the kitchen and it caught the dish, knocking it to the floor.) I went out and bought my mom a new cake dish (out of my hard-earned McDonald's paycheck). She didn't like it as well as the old one, which, of course, she told me.<br /><br />While I understand my mom's anger, I don't understand why she made me feel so bad. Kids are learning every day. (Even big, teenage kids, which I now have two of.) We need to speak calmly and model appropriate behavior, even if that means keeping a bad temper in check. Put yourself in your kid's shoes and ask, "How would I want to be treated?" Then act accordingly.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br /><br />Carol Ann
Staff
2013-04-30T19:27:00Z
When There's a Large Age Difference in Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-Theres-a-Large-Age-Difference-in-Marriage/-795204633849748808.html
2013-04-29T17:23:00Z
2013-04-29T17:23:00Z
In 1997, I married my husband when I was 24 and he was 41. We had not known each other that long and it was his third marriage my first. We had three kids, and then divorced in 2010. <br /><br />Flash forward, he passed away nearly a year ago of a massive stroke, and now I have three kids ages 13, 9, and 6 with no dad. I never planned to be a divorced mom, and a mom of three kids who lost their dad so young. I am left to pick up the pieces, deal with all of their hurt feelings, and be the best mom I can. My dad is support and backup, but he's 1500 miles away.<br /><br />I know that just based on the age and how long we had known each other it was a bad decision to get married. I am hoping that since I heard you warn people not to do this that maybe my story would help a woman who is in a similar situation think twice about where her life might go marrying an older man. <br /><br />I love my children, and I will keep doing the right thing by them, but not a day goes by when I don't secretly wish I had waited and picked better. I would never tell them this because of course it would be devastating. I am hoping someone hears this and at least thinks twice about the consequences of marrying and having children with someone significantly older. Hollywood may make it look great that Hugh Hefner is married to a 20 something, but the reality for most people is much different than that. <br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Cynthia<br /><br />P.S. I'm staying single until my kids are raised because I don't think I have good judgment in men. Maybe in 12 years my judgment will improve.<br />
Staff
2013-04-29T17:23:00Z
Putting My Husband Before My Parents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Putting-My-Husband-Before-My-Parents/659761834162598369.html
2013-04-29T17:20:00Z
2013-04-29T17:20:00Z
At around the 14th year of my marriage I realized my husband had become dependant on alcohol for relaxation. He was very tense as the only bread winner for our family and I was not paying enough attention to him while staying home with our three young children. <br /><br />In my effort to help him see my dedication to our putting things right and him first, I drastically cut my visits with my parents and siblings. To me, it was closing ranks and putting what goes on in my house first. I realized I was part of the reason he was drinking. Only later did I read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and discovered I had changed and started to do most of what you tell women they need to do for their man. Then we both changed. <br /><br />We have been married 25 years now. He is completely sober and has been for 10 years. My family was upset with me for my withdrawal for a while, but it was what I needed to do for us and for our kids. I would do it all over again.<br /><br />Connie
Staff
2013-04-29T17:20:00Z
How to Dump a Baby at Day Care
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-to-Dump-a-Baby-at-Day-Care/-755821864724043586.html
2013-04-26T18:06:00Z
2013-04-26T18:06:00Z
I found these responses to a post on Facebook which is labeled as a "mommy" site. A mommy asking for 'advice' on how to leave her 4-month old baby without guilt so she can go back to work:<br /><br /><strong>Tiffany's Question:</strong> Working moms: I'm heading back to work in 2.5 weeks and I'm already having a hard time with it. I'm lucky enough to have my mom come to my house to watch my baby, but I know I'm still going to break down that week or weeks just being away from him. How did you all cope??? Please tell me your little one adjusted well. I'm afraid he will be totally thrown off. He will be 4.5 months when I go back.<br /><br /><strong>• Sarojini</strong> I have a digital picture frame with lots of pics my baby. My nanny and my husband always send me pictures as well. It was tough the first week, but it does get better. My baby was 8 weeks when I went back to work and adjusted fine. Her routine was the same whether or not I was there, which is no routine. Hope that helps and good luck!<br /><br /><strong>• Jahnava </strong>For the first week, I made my husband take vacation and bring me the baby at lunch. Baby still went to the sitter's house three times that week, but I had him at lunch every day.<br /><br /><strong>• Tiffany</strong> glad to know it gets better. I'm going to see if I can use some vacation time to do half days for the first week. My son isn't on a super tight schedule either, but I noticed that when other people watch him he doesn't nap or eat as well.<br /><br /><strong>• Jenelle</strong> My daughter went to day care at 2 months old. I cried on the way to work. As moms we think that our kids can't be away from us, that they wont be ok. The truth is, I think we need them. It is harder for us as parents to leave our children. My daughter was just fine and in good hands. It did help that I would receive pictures of her throughout my day. It does get easier. You still miss them every moment, but you learn to deal with it better.<br /><br /><strong>• Valerie</strong> Mine was 4 months when I went back to work. The 1st day was the WORST! I went on my lunch break to drop off milk and my day care lady answered the door with my LO in her arms hysterical! Needless to say, she LOVES it now and is in a great mood when I drop her off I've got tons of pictures of her in my office and whenever I'm feeling separated from her, I just text my day care lady and ask for a picture. She's more than happy to do it.<br /><br /><strong>• Sarojini </strong>How far does your mom live from work? If possible you could have her bring your baby during lunch some times. I think that would help.<br /><br /><strong>• Tiffany</strong> lots of pictures will help. My house is 20 min drive from work. That is a great idea about lunch dates. I agree it will be harder for me then him. I'm going to miss seeing his smiley face each time he wakes from naps and bringing him into my bed in the mornings. I guess that will be something to look forward to.<br /><br /> <br /><br />These women's children will be the next generation of Dr. Laura callers. Incredible ignorance towards child development; sad, sad.<br /><br /><br />Dianne
Staff
2013-04-26T18:06:00Z
Clueless Parents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Clueless-Parents/-42428143189162394.html
2013-04-26T17:52:00Z
2013-04-26T17:52:00Z
God Bless You, Dr. Laura for keeping me on the right path as I raise my children! I was raised without values or morals and was pretty confused as a young lady. I was basically without anything to guide me except my equally silly friends or the latest Hollywood movie. You cured me of my ignorance and at least I'm doing most of the right things for my kids. <br /><br />Many of the parents around me are clueless. I commented to one mom yesterday that allowing a daughter too much freedom with boys too early is extra trouble and baggage they have to deal with the rest of their lives. I was told my values are not hers and to not to mention this again because she trusts her daughter and knows everything that is going on. After I dried my tears of laughter, I realized I was talking to a 34-year-old on her third marriage who got pregnant out of wedlock when she was 18 or 19.<br /><br />You would not believe how many stories I have of parents preparing and pimping their daughters out to any boy that comes along. The moms are almost as giddy as the teens. On second thought, you would probably believe it because you hear it all the time, too.<br /><br />Thank you for helping me help my kids so they can avoid some of the confusion I felt as a teen and young adult!<br /><br />Wendy
Staff
2013-04-26T17:52:00Z
Wake Up Woman!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Wake-Up-Woman!/-748269452093752446.html
2013-04-25T19:00:00Z
2013-04-25T19:00:00Z
Hi Dr. Laura, <br /><br />I have called you several times and you have always helped me. I have 2 small children, my now ex-husband is an alcoholic and all around deadbeat dad, who doesn't call, visit, or make child support payments.<br /><br />I am writing to you because unfortunately I started listening to you late and did not choose wisely. But I have made lemonade out of lemons and my kids are doing great. But I get so frustrated when I hear a stay-at-home mom call in who's bored, or doesn't think she's perfect, or is mad at her husband for working or traveling too much. Sometimes I almost drive off the road. I just want to slap these women or splash water in their faces or scream, "WAKE UP WOMAN". I mean, they did the first part right... They chose wisely. Then they screw it up because they start comparing their life to someone who doesn't matter or feeling inadequate because someone else did it differently or heaven forbid their husband wants to have sex with them. I mean I can literally hear their marriages unraveling as they gripe and complain. <br /><br />If I had 5 minutes with them, I'd tell them the only "report card" that matters is from their kids. I bet if they took a minute to ask their kids how they are doing, they'd get a big hug and hear everything is great because they are together. Kids want your time. Not the biggest TV and they don't care if you had the BEST meeting at work. They want your time. <br /><br />My kids are very happy, the only comments they ever make is that they wish I could go on field trips or pick them up from school. So they are happy, we are surviving being on our own, but if I had made different choices I'd be home with my kids with spit up on my shirt and yesterday's jeans but I'd be home. I'd be cooking dinner for my family and after we got the kids to bed, I'd change out of yesterday's jeans and thank my husband for all he does for us. And yes, the thank you would be with the lights ON in nothing but my birthday suit and a smile. Tired from wiping noses and carpooling or not, I'd be thankful. And I'd give a little of that back. <br /><br />So if you don't think you aren't contributing enough to society, you need to think a little closer to home. <br /><br />Sincerely, <br /><br />Adrian<br />
Staff
2013-04-25T19:00:00Z
A Kid's Take on Responsibility
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Kids-Take-on-Responsibility/-409631013095482219.html
2013-04-25T18:55:00Z
2013-04-25T18:55:00Z
Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />My daughter, who is a stay-at-home mom, consistently teaches my 5-year-old grandson and my 3-year-old granddaughter that there are certain responsibilities that come with being a member of a family. <br /><br />One morning she was working in the kitchen when she told my granddaughter to take off her PJ's and get dressed. My granddaughter did so, and then came out into the kitchen carrying her dirty PJ's. My daughter told her to go put them in the dirty clothes hamper. <br /><br />My granddaughter's reply: "Mom, you need to go put them in the dirty clothes hamper. I'm giving you a job so you can be helpful." <br /><br />What could my daughter do (besides trying to hide her laughter), but perform her duty as a responsible helper in the family and put the PJ's in the dirty clothes hamper! <br /><br />Candi<br />
Staff
2013-04-25T18:55:00Z
The Employer-Employee Relationship
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Employer-Employee-Relationship/-9892985629602371.html
2013-04-24T20:11:00Z
2013-04-24T20:11:00Z
Dr. Laura, you asked, "What do you think are the top reasons why people get fired?"<br /><br />I believe it's a sense of entitlement.<br /><br />An employee is there to provide value to the employer, and to receive pay and benefits in exchange. It's a mutually beneficial relationship, begun with both parties' consent, and severable when it stops being beneficial to either. The employer isn't a charity. The employee isn't a slave.<br /><br />These days, many employees regard the employer-employee relationship as adversarial, however. It's manifest in bad attitudes. It shows up in habits designed to accomplish the bare minimum work, while otherwise treating the workplace like an Internet cafe. It often appears in the active undermining of peer morale. Employees validate each others' nonchalant attitudes, and these discussions poison new hires' perceptions of the workplace.<br /><br />I don't know if it's the Occupy Wall Street mentality. Maybe big government social programs have reduce the perceived value of employment. Maybe a good work ethic requires a father figure, who is increasingly absent. Maybe it's the ridiculous portrayals of the office on TV. Maybe fewer employers have backbones, and act like parents who try to be their kids' best friend instead of a guiding hand.<br /><br />Maybe it's several or all of these.<br /><br />But it seems like a big reason people get fired is: They forget that they are there... the only reason that they are given an opportunity and a paycheck... is to provide good value to the employer.<br /><br />If they aspire to anything less, then they lied when they filed an application and accepted that job.<br /><br /><br />Brian
Staff
2013-04-24T20:11:00Z
Training to Be a Real Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Training-to-Be-a-Real-Man/-230452340227892980.html
2013-04-24T19:57:00Z
2013-04-24T19:57:00Z
Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />Just wanted to write you and let you know that chivalry is not dead,...even amongst our youth. Recently our daughter was brought home by a young man with whom she had spent the afternoon. When she arrived home and the young man left, she told me he had opened her car door. Needless to say, I was impressed. However, she went on to say that when they arrived at our home, as she reached and looked for the car door handle, the young man proceeded to ask her to wait. He hopped out of the car, ran around and opened the car door for her to get out. I don't know what will become of this relationship, but so far Mom and Dad are giving two thumbs up. Of course she can open the door for herself, and I am sure many young women might have thought this strange. But a young man who is going to swim through shark infested waters to bring you a lemonade must begin his training sometime. This young man is off to a great start and has left our daughter with the right impression of what it means to be treated like a "lady".<br /><br />Been listening to you for years, keep up the good work.<br /><br /><br />Proud Mom of a young lady,<br /><br /><br />Jodi
Staff
2013-04-24T19:57:00Z
Getting It Right The Second Time Around
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Getting-It-Right-The-Second-Time-Around/847278170794144906.html
2013-04-23T18:58:00Z
2013-04-23T18:58:00Z
<br />Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I heard a caller the other day talk about an argument she had with her husband that escalated into one where he had apparently smacked her. You totally blamed the caller for pushing her man, and then acting like the "victim".<br /><br />That call reminded me of my first husband. You see, we were married about 14 years. In that time he smacked me a couple times, he also had an affair with two different women (very short lived). I complained loudly to anyone who would hear me about my "victim-ness".<br /><br />My second husband is kind, loving and loyal. He would do anything for me. He loves me and tells me so. He buys me gifts. We talk and laugh often. He tells me "I would swim through hell with gasoline drawers on for you!" (Lol!)<br /><br />Funny thing, this is the SAME man as my first one. I found "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and figured out that I was CAUSING the bad behavior. I don't always act perfectly now, but it's ok. He loves me and appreciates my efforts. Thank you Dr. Laura for all you do. We women really do have enormous power over our men, it's up to us as to how we use that power. My "man of my dreams" and I are now going on 30 years (total!) we both consider the first 14 just a trial run. I am a lucky woman he came back and gave me another shot.<br /><br />Kathy<br />
Staff
2013-04-23T18:58:00Z
Stay-at-Home Mom vs. Working Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stay-at-Home-Mom-vs.-Working-Mom/-118062375513452138.html
2013-04-23T18:53:00Z
2013-04-23T18:53:00Z
<br />I listened to a parent vent the other day about another parent extolling the virtues of being a stay-at-home-mom. She was upset because she was a working mother and felt she had covered all of her bases and simply didn't agree that being a stay-at-home mom was necessary. I listened with interest because I think it is really important to be home with your kids for a number of reasons. <br /><br />It didn't occur to me until later that this same mom had previously told me her older child was having sex in their home during high school and engaged in a significant amount of underage drinking as well. Had she been a stay-at-home mom, chances are that never would have happened. Just another reason it is so important to be at home. God bless the parents who make the sacrifices to do so.<br /><br /> <br /><br />Jill
Staff
2013-04-23T18:53:00Z
'Submissive' Wives
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Submissive-Wives/-969325023708913609.html
2013-04-19T19:16:00Z
2013-04-19T19:16:00Z
I recently read an article about Gabrielle Reece, former pro-volleyball player, promoting her book in which she states that good wives are submissive wives. As if she knew the backlash she would receive, she even prefaced it as "to truly be feminine means being soft, receptive, and -- look out, here it comes -- submissive."<br /><br />*Cue feminists outrage*<br /><br />She goes on to talk about how by her acting like a soft, feminine woman allows her husband to act and feel like a real masculine man, which results in him treating her the way she WANTS to be treated. She continues: "I think because women have the ability to set the tone, that the ultimate strength and showing real power, I believe, is creating that environment," she said. "I think it's a sign of strength."<br /><br />If only more women recognized and realized this power and used it for GOOD!!<br /><br />I have listened to you, Dr Laura, since I was a little girl riding in the car with my mom, listening to our fuzzy AM radio station. I am now a 25-year-old newlywed who chose wisely and is treating my husband kindly. I'm not going to lie, the first few months of us living together was hard for me to transition from "independent woman" to "submissive wife", but reading "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" made it a lot easier. And let me tell you.. The results are unbelievable. When I started treating him like a man, MY MAN, and not like a roommate or a child or an assistant, he became more attentive, helpful, and, surprisingly, my ATTRACTION to him was intensified. I can now say he is the king of our small apartment and he treats me like a soft, gentle, sweet, feminine woman, and neither of us could be any happier.<br /><br />Thank you for all that you do. You empower us women to be the wives our husbands deserve and because of that, I know my husband and I have many many wonderful newlywed years to look forward to.<br /><br /> <br />Vanessa
Staff
2013-04-19T19:16:00Z
Guys Need Applause Too
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Guys-Need-Applause-Too/-203215568079783531.html
2013-04-19T19:10:00Z
2013-04-19T19:10:00Z
Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />The worst way to compliment a guy is to have deliver this encouragement "Great, you scored better than you ever have on your golf game" with guilt ridden undertones.<br /><br />Women don't like to be left out. Let's face it, even if we were all for our man to go golfing for a day or a hunting trip for a weekend, it is sometimes hard to be home alone. But you can't make him feel guilty in your comments when he returns. If he is a good man, works and helps you, then when he comes back from his outing you should support him no matter how your plans went (good or bad) or how crazy the kids made you while he was gone. He listens to you and your world, so make it a goal to listen to his outing and interests.<br /> <br />My husband plays Dungeons & Dragons, so I have to listen to the monsters he fought and plot lines too long for my ADD mind. I don't even care much for D&D or the 10 hours it takes to play, but he is writing a fantasy book and I am loving reading that.<br /><br />A good marriage takes work. Guys need to understand you need 30 minutes a day for him to just listen so you can get everything out. And girls need to remember their men need guy time and be excited when he comes home and applaud his achievements no matter what they are. Don't tell him how your weekend got messed up and you had to fix the sink. Let him have his moment. It helps him feel relaxed and appreciated which leads him to start thinking of all you do for him and what he can do for you.<br /><br /><br />Rachel
Staff
2013-04-19T19:10:00Z
In Divorce, Children are the Victims
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/In-Divorce,-Children-are-the-Victims/-106054948999086067.html
2013-04-18T19:06:00Z
2013-04-18T19:06:00Z
Dr. Laura<br /><br />My partner and I live in a small neighborhood in San Antonio, where most everyone has recently built their new home. Our neighborhood is tightly knit as we have all shared in the similar experience of building a home and have gotten to know each other quite well.<br /><br />Yesterday, I learned that a couple just two doors down is splitting. The husband claimed he had fallen in love with another woman and decided to leave their family which includes three small children, all under the age of 5. My partner and I play with the kids when they are outside with their mom, and have a routine of taking their little dog back to them when he escapes the back yard. We have become entwined with this family and adore their kids.<br /><br />I've listened to your program long enough to know that there really isn't anything I can do in this situation except provide support as a friend to the mother and her children as they go through this. I suppose the reason I'm writing is out of anger. Here is a family with three adorable children that is now broken to pieces. The children are left in a financially devastated state with their mother, and the father is now shacking up with some "bimbo" as you so often say.<br /><br />I'm angry this father can't see the amazing opportunities he will now be missing out on, all for a "bimbo" that comes with no real commitment.<br /><br />I realize you deal with this on a daily basis, but when it happens right next door, boy does it bring to life what you discuss on your radio show day in and day out. So to those folks out there who have the amazing opportunity to enter into a marriage and live a life with the person you love the most, I would say cherish what you have. Relish in the amazing benefits that come with that institution and cherish it as you would a fine piece of China.<br /><br />Dr. Laura, keep doing what you're doing, and I only hope that maybe one day this lost father will listen to someone like you and "do the right thing".<br /><br />Kevin
Staff
2013-04-18T19:06:00Z
A Poem Regarding Dr. Laura
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Poem-Regarding-Dr.-Laura/-112713824124787043.html
2013-04-18T18:53:00Z
2013-04-18T18:53:00Z
<span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1366311225293_2120" style="font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: "Verdana", "sans-serif"; color: #000099;"></span>Dear Dr. Laura, the love of my life<br />If we both were not married, I'd make you my wife<br />I know you are older and wiser my dear<br />You have all the answers, that we want to hear<br />Three hours a day you share your advice<br />The one's that don't take it, they will pay a price<br /><br />Some callers are crazy, some ready to snap<br />Some feeling cheery and some feel like crap<br />They tell you their story, and you can relate<br />Some don't stop talking and want to debate<br />Some callers are graceful, real honest and true<br />Others are hurting, so bad feeling blue<br />Some cry while their sharing, tears flowing from their heart<br />When they get off the phone, they can make a fresh start<br /><br />Your one hell of lady, Dr. Laura my friend<br />I'm a long time listener, who will be there till the end<br />I do have my issues and might call you one day<br />But for now I'll just listen and laugh and may cry<br />Depends on the callers and how hard you may pry<br />You do help so many, too many to know<br />All over the world, right around the globe<br /><br />I'll cut this one short, with no pun intended<br />I could go on and on and on, but I think it's time it ended<br />Thank you Dr. Laura for many years of your life<br />Your husband is happy and grateful your his wife.<br /><br />Love to you and bless you Dr. Laura<br /><br />A friend in Canada.<br /><br />Howard
Staff
2013-04-18T18:53:00Z
Society's Perspective on Day Care
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Societys-Perspective-on-Day-Care/413881556931397664.html
2013-04-17T20:16:00Z
2013-04-17T20:16:00Z
I just read the email from the young mother who was asked if her 7-month-old child was in day care. I have two beautiful daughters in their 20's and was blessed to have a surprise bonus daughter who is now 4. I can't believe the change in the issue of day care in just 20 years. <br /><br />With my first two, other mothers were envious that I was home with my girls and it seemed understood that me being home was best for them. With this younger daughter, women constantly suggest to me that she needs to be in daycare to cure whatever NORMAL stage she's in - from colic to learning to share as a 2 year old. I keep hearing, "It would help if she were in daycare!" My husband has gone back to school so I am working full-time, but I work nights to have every precious minute I can with my daughter. She even naps with me as I sleep my precious few winks so she can snuggle with Mommy for a couple more hours each day. <br /><br />I join that other mother in thanking you for being such a strong supporter of at home Mommies and Daddies and children being raised by their own loving parents. Who can know how many thousands of children's lives have been enhanced because their parents have listened to you. Thanks again. And again. A thousand times.<br /><br />Loretta - my kids' very blessed mom<br />
Staff
2013-04-17T20:16:00Z
You Read My Mind!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Read-My-Mind!/-56007510364421048.html
2013-04-17T20:09:00Z
2013-04-17T20:09:00Z
Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I have been my husband's girlfriend for 7 years. We have been married for 10, but I didn't read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" until year two. Thank God! We have 3 boys that we raise together on a ranch.<br /><br />I married a 4th generation cowboy. My husband has worked for his family his whole life - specifically his father. When the boys started being born, we decided together that I would go to work with him, for his dad on the ranch.We did that because I could take the boys with me and my schedule would be flexible. My husband and his dad have different ideas and argue A LOT. My husband's dad divorced his mom when he and his 2 siblings were young and married his pregnant fling. This woman has been a constant source of frustration for us.<br /><br />To make a long, long, long story short... She has started attacking me in recent years, setting me up, pitting me against my husband in an effort to make it difficult. She does not want my husband to be successful and takeover the ranch. All of the frustration and resentment started coming in our home and marriage. <br /><br />Well, you can only eat crap for so long until you get tired of it. I am at that point. I have wanted to call you for a while to get your advice on this. And then... <br /><br />Imagine my surprise when I checked my mail yesterday and there was an envelope from DrLaura.com. I am a Family Premium member so I can listen when I can't get on SiriusXM. It was a large padded envelope and felt like a book. Had I ordered something and forgot??? Inside was your book,"Surviving a Shark Attack on Land". I was stunned. I was crying. I was in disbelief. Who sent this? My Aunt who I had been whining to??? No. The one book that I don't have of yours, your peeps sent to me for being a Dr. Laura Family Premium member for a year. So, I don't know how you did it, but you somehow knew what I needed. Started reading it yesterday and I know it will help me as much as your other books that I have read.<br /><br />Thanks for knowing what I needed, without knowing...Mother Laura knows all!Kind of Freaky!<br /><br /><br />Joy<br />
Staff
2013-04-17T20:09:00Z
Ignored the Red Flags
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ignored-the-Red-Flags/-924805839016774703.html
2013-04-16T18:58:00Z
2013-04-16T18:58:00Z
Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />Our 27-year-old son was married just over 6 months ago after only knowing his girlfriend for just over a year (part of that separated by her deployment). So you could say they really didn't know each other that well.<br /><br />My husband and I told him not to marry her - because BEFORE the wedding he was voicing his concerns about her lack of housecleaning, cooking, laundry (yes, they were shacking up). And, believe it or not, her lack of wanting to have sex (and she's only 22). I did give her The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, but she has yet to open it up.<br /><br />Anyway, they went through with it and now you should see his postings on Facebook; things about get over it, Princess, etc. And even though he is using a piece of humor going around the Internet, he has put his own twist on it with his most recent posting. It almost mimics your book.<br /><br /><br /><strong>HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY</strong><br /><br />1. Feed him<br />2. Sleep with him<br />3. Leave him with peace<br />4. Don't check his phone (messages)<br />5. Don't bother him with his movements<br />So what's so hard about that?<br /><br /><strong>HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY</strong><br /><br />It's really not too difficult but.... To make a woman happy, a man only needs to be:<br /><br />1. a friend<br />2. a companion<br />3. a lover<br />4. a brother<br />5. a father<br />6. a master<br />7. a chef<br />8. an electrician<br />9. a plumber<br />10. a mechanic<br />11. a carpenter<br />12. a decorator<br />13. a stylist<br />14. a sexologist<br />15. a gynecologist<br />16. a psychologist<br />17. a pest exterminator<br />18. a psychiatrist<br />19. a healer<br />20. a good listener<br />21. an organizer<br />22. a good father<br />23. very clean<br />24. sympathetic<br />25. athletic<br />26. warm<br />27. attentive<br />28. gallant<br />29. intelligent<br />30. funny<br />31. creative<br />32. tender<br />33. strong<br />34. understanding<br />35. tolerant<br />36. prudent<br />37. ambitious<br />38. capable<br />39. courageous<br />40. determined<br />41. true<br />42. dependable<br />43. passionate<br /><br /><strong>WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:</strong><br />44. give her compliments regularly<br />45. Go shopping with her<br />46. be honest<br />47. be very rich<br />48. not stress her out<br />49. not look at other girls<br /><br /><br /><strong>AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:</strong><br />50. give her lots of attention<br />51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself<br />52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes.<br /><br /><strong>BUT MOST OF ALL IT IS VERY IMPORTANT</strong><br />53. never forget<br />*birthdays<br />*anniversaries<br />*Valentine's Day<br />*arrangements she makes.<br /><br /><br />Our heart breaks for our son. He says "Mom, they don't make women like you anymore." My husband and I just celebrated our 30th anniversary - thanks to the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. I know my son yearns for what we have, but he will never find it with her. I also know there is nothing I can do to fix this.<br /><br />I just want to say thank you for what you do. Some out there are listening.<br /><br />God Bless,<br /><br />Theresa
Staff
2013-04-16T18:58:00Z
Unpaid Whores
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Unpaid-Whores/-272745278230614696.html
2013-04-16T18:51:00Z
2013-04-16T18:51:00Z
Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />The first time I heard you tell someone they were just an unpaid whore I was a bit taken aback, but the more I thought about it I realized even though society in general seems to be willing to compromise on this subject we are not "doing the right thing" by ignoring this moral decay. It is far easier to just not say anything and "keep the peace", especially when it is someone in your own family who is in this type of relationship.<br /><br />Thank you for reminding us that there are consequences to everything we do and that many times, in fact most often, it is children who end up suffering.<br /><br />Warm regards,<br /><br />Dan
Staff
2013-04-16T18:51:00Z
When to Marry
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-to-Marry/-845007211029651957.html
2013-04-15T20:00:00Z
2013-04-15T20:00:00Z
After years of observation, I don't think age has anything to do with marriage success. The best marriages I know--my parents (60 years married) and one of my best friends (30 years married)--were married at 18. While I certainly don't recommend that to my children, my daughter and her husband were married at only 21/22--after telling me at age 16 that she knew he was the one for her. We did everything to put them off because we thought they were "too young". They have been married now for 7 years, lost a child, and gone through some tough things, but I have witnessed their love for each other and seen how well they communicate. I have no doubt they will stay together. <br /><br />I think marriage is all about maturity level (not age level), and commitment level. As a Mormon, I witness successful "young" marriages all of the time (aged 22-26 on average). When a couple is committed to fidelity before and after marriage, they are going to be more likely to marry younger and live more responsibly, as well as be more likely to treat each other with respect after marriage. Some people I have met in today's world wouldn't be mature enough for marriage at age 60.<br /><br />Thank you for you time. Thank you for all you do for society, Dr. Laura, and for being a "voice for the children." We need more like you. <br /><br />Laurel<br />
Staff
2013-04-15T20:00:00Z
Sister to Sister
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sister-to-Sister/-289407541525018100.html
2013-04-15T19:56:00Z
2013-04-15T19:56:00Z
Thank you, Dr Laura, for your book, "10 Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives" and all you preach about dating, real men, and relationship red flags. I recently found out my 22-year-old sister was dating a new guy. I was surprised to find out all of the intimacy and life she had already shared with him after two months. <br /><br />Wanting what's best for her and for her to one day have a great marriage like mine, I made a phone call to her that I prepared for. She listened to me as I revealed the Dr. Laura mentality of dating for marriage. It really opened her eyes to what she should be looking for in a man. I warned her about shacking up and giving away too much of herself too fast. She was embarrassed knowing she had already screwed up with this guy. <br /><br />I hung up after I knew she got it and sent her your book the next day. She is not a reader, but she broke up with him soon after and disgustingly told me about all of the red flags. Now I have a sister who is on the right path. Thanks to you, a path that will one day lead to a great marriage like mine because she will have chosen wisely. <br /><br />Lauren<br />
Staff
2013-04-15T19:56:00Z
Planning Grown-Up Fun Can Be Good Too
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Planning-Grown-Up-Fun-Can-Be-Good-Too/-136819640327403496.html
2013-04-12T18:38:00Z
2013-04-12T18:38:00Z
A few days ago, I realized my husband and I hadn't had sex in a couple weeks. Because of this, I was feeling somewhat disconnected from him. So I took the initiative and sent him a text message telling him that if we went to bed early that night I would "rock his world." As a result we both spent the day looking forward to our evening together, and instead of it causing us to lose the mood, it turned us on even more. <br /><br />It's so easy to just say I'm too tired at the end of the day, but when we had it "preplanned" it made us be more accountable for sustaining our relationship. Neither one of us wanted to back out because we knew the other person was looking forward to having some "grown-up" fun. I'm definitely going to plan for love-making more often, rather than waiting to be spontaneous and then being "too tired." <br /><br />Thanks for all you do to help me be a better girlfriend to my husband. Because of you, I learned to choose wisely and treat kindly!<br /><br />Deidre<br />
Staff
2013-04-12T18:38:00Z
Getting Her In the Mood
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Getting-Her-In-the-Mood/-279799614478978215.html
2013-04-12T18:35:00Z
2013-04-12T18:35:00Z
I'm a 38-year-old man. I'm ALWAYS in the mood. LOL To sweeten her up, I stay attentive to her wants. Always. I put coffee and her favorite yogurt on the night stand. I help with housework: dishes, laundry, etc. Weekly, I run silly errands. I bring her small gifts like chocolate and other treats every week. <br /><br />She is particular about the kids not being home, if we are to be intimate. I understand that, so the only time we have is a two hour block on the day I get off early once a week. If she says, "No," during that one time per week then she has learned I don't FEEL like doing ANY of the aforementioned above. <br /><br />For the most part, being consistent and patient has paid off well. Not to say I don't desire a whole lot more from her in that realm, but it is working for us right now. <br /><br />K.<br />
Staff
2013-04-12T18:35:00Z
Tweens, Teens and Dating
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Tweens,-Teens-and-Dating/-110335075609108741.html
2013-04-11T17:44:00Z
2013-04-11T17:44:00Z
When asked, "What do you think is an appropriate age for a child to start dating and why?", listeners sent in some passionate thoughts. Here are just a few of them…<br /><br />Jason:<br />Society will laugh as me, but since dating is "an interview for a prospective spouse", I don't see why anyone under 18 would be exclusive. I would not have a problem with group activities that include mixed genders at about 16, but they would need to be properly supervised. That is no guarantee these days with permissive parenting.<br /><br />My oldest son will be 17 this week and attends and all boys school. He is doing great and I believe that part of the reason is that there are no female distractions and no "drama". He doesn't have a "girlfriend" but has a nice group of friends that includes some girls and he has taken some of them to school dances and the like.<br /><br />College worries me, but I can only hope that maturity, common sense and the words of wisdom will help him make the right decisions.<br /><br /><br />Erin:<br />Wow, I never thought I would be talking about my "tween" dating. I thought this would be a topic of discussion when she is actually a TEEN! To my surprise, I have talked to other moms of 12 year olds who proudly talk about their sons and daughters new relationships with the opposite sex and how cute it is, and how nice their families are and how they are looking forward to getting to know them, etc. Well, cute is the last thing I think of! My daughter is in a good place right now with her girlfriends, academics and extra curricular activities and I want it to stay that way. There is nothing wrong with dating when it is the right time in life, but now is not it. Boys-girl relationships equal drama and my 12 year old does not need that in her life right now. I think this is fueled more by the parents who want their kids to be "cool." So sad.<br /><br /><br />Gabriel: <br />Eighteen is a good age as far as I'm concerned. Seventeen if the "date" is supervised or chaperoned. Teens just don't know enough about taking care of themselves until then. They run the risk of date rape and/or consensual sex ... either of which may result in a STD or unwanted pregnancy. Kids are guided by their emotions and their hormones. That's like having a stick of dynamite and the fuse. All they need for a total disaster is a small flame or spark. Teens are also too easily pressured/influenced into sex by peer pressure, by their boyfriend/girlfriend, or by what they see happening on the silver screen (if they happen to be at the movies). If I had it 100% my way, I wouldn't let them date until they turned 20, but I know that's not being realistic. There's a reason why God didn't allow my spouse and I to have kids. We solved the problem with our furry children (our three cats) ... we had them all fixed or neutered.<br /><br /><br />Connie:<br />We have three daughters who are now 23, 19, and 18. Our youngest will graduate in May. None of our girls currently have boyfriends. Our oldest had 2 boyfriends in high school, and the younger daughters have not had boyfriends in high school. They are well adjusted relatively happy girls. They go to prom with "guy friends" and hang out on the weekends with groups of friends rather than going on dates. <br /><br />We have always told them that dating is about picking a spouse. And there is no rush to be on that hunt when you are a preteen. <br /><br />I pray for there to be 3 great young men out there to date and marry my girls when the time comes. <br /><br />
Staff
2013-04-11T17:44:00Z
"Dr. Laura Jr."
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dr.-Laura-Jr./-451498441759997760.html
2013-04-11T17:40:00Z
2013-04-11T17:40:00Z
Recently, I was driving with my 11-year-old son to his sister's lacrosse game. We were listening to your show when a mom called in about her 8-year-old son. She spoke about some trouble he had gotten into at school by bullying a special needs child. You proceeded to tell her to pull him out of school, ask him why he would do something like that, and to basically end his privileged life as he knows it... I said nothing, and was wondering what my own son would've done (actually I know he would've stood up for the bullied child). After a moment or two, my very wise son said, "Mom, Dr. Laura sounds just like you! Even the way she says it! That is exactly what you would've said and done."<br /><br />That was probably the best compliment I have received in a while! I told him I have learned a lot from you over the years, including the importance of being a stay at home mom!<br /><br />Thanks so much for your preaching, teaching, and nagging!<br /><br />My 3 Kids' Mom (14, 11 & 11 years old),<br /><br />Melissa
Staff
2013-04-11T17:40:00Z
Sharing Isn't Always Caring
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sharing-Isnt-Always-Caring/467179906066923327.html
2013-04-10T19:13:00Z
2013-04-10T19:13:00Z
I was fortunate to have a mother who taught me a very important lesson at a young age. After my brother had found and read my diary, my mother said to me, "Always remember that what you put in print is never truly private. There is always the potential for others to find and read it." I've had people think that was a terrible thing for my mom to say--that she should have protected my right to write privately about whatever I wanted. But she was right. It's not that I never put anything personal in a journal, but I always remember it could be read--even if only by my children after I die and I'm careful not to put anything down that would cause damage or hurt to someone later.<br /><br />So when I'm online, I never consider it my private venue for venting or expressing whatever whenever. On my Facebook, I have friends who are friends of my children toward whom I feel an obligation to be an example and mentor. I have friends who are all over the board politically and friends who are of various religions. I always try to keep all these people in mind when I'm posting. It's not that I believe life is about never offending people. I just don't choose Facebook as a place to trumpet about everything I think or do. I tend to think of it more as a Christmas newsletter to keep people in touch with the general goings on of our family. You may know I'm a Christian or that I'm crazy in love with my daughters from my Facebook, but if you want many more details, I'd rather you talk to me and we'll have a heart to heart. And above all, I never say ANYTHING about ANYONE that I wouldn't want that person to read--not even a celebrity. Because who knows who sees things once you send them out there.<br /><br /><br />Loretta
Staff
2013-04-10T19:13:00Z
"Do the Right Thing"
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Do-the-Right-Thing/539022637665882537.html
2013-04-10T19:07:00Z
2013-04-10T19:07:00Z
Dr. Laura,<br /> <br />I listen to your program every time I get in the car! I am a stay at home mom with two beautiful girls! I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 6 month old.<br /><br />My 2-year-old is very smart and listens to everything we say! One day she was brushing her teeth and she looked in the mirror, pointed to herself with her toothbrush and said, "Do the right thing!" I laughed but couldn't figure out what she was talking about. Then it continued to happen every time she brushed her teeth. On top of that, sometimes she would look at me and point her toothbrush at me and say, "Do the right thing!" Well I still didn't know where she got that from until one day as I was listening to your radio program I heard you say, "Now go do the right thing!" I about lost it with laughter! My daughter had been listening to you this whole time!<br /><br />So even 2-year-olds think you're great! I love your show and love your books! <br />Thank you.
Staff
2013-04-10T19:07:00Z
Don't Feel Guilty for Not Being There for Your Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dont-Feel-Guilty-for-Not-Being-There-for-Your-Kids/318018611977348018.html
2013-04-09T18:55:00Z
2013-04-09T18:55:00Z
Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I live outside of the city of Rochester, NY, where Xerox has its headquarters. I saw this <a href="http://blogs.wsj.com/atwork/2013/03/20/xerox-ceo-ursula-burns-has-advice-for-ambitious-women/ -- Do you know how to do this" target="_self">story</a> covered on the news, and I couldn't believe it, so I went and found it for myself.<br /><br />Xerox CEO Ursula Burns was speaking at a conference and "joked" with the audience that the secret to her success is that she married a man 20 years older than she is. Since he has retired and gone through the "growing up stuff," she can leave the kids with him and focus on her career. The total disregard for her husband's role as a father, not a babysitter, caught my attention. But what she said later really made me boil over.<br /><br />The article goes on to say: "Mothers often feel pressure to be present for their children all the time, but such expectations are n either realistic nor necessary, Burns says. 'Kids are pretty resilient...You don't have to be at every volleyball game. We can't guilt ourselves.' [Ms. Burns's] own mother missed many of her extracurricular activities, she adds, 'and I'm fine.'"<br /><br />I am a SAHM of two girls, 12 and 3, one of whom has a developmental disability. My husband and I happily share the responsibility for raising both of our girls. The thought that having a parent there to watch you grow up is neither necessary nor realistic never crossed our minds. We are parents--it's our job to be there for our girls.<br /><br />I am glad that Ms. Burns is "fine" with where her life has taken her. I feel sorry for her children.<br /><br />Dr. Laura, I only get to listen to you while I am in the car, but I really appreciate the advice you give. Thank you for standing up for motherhood and doing what is right.<br /><br />~Laura, wife to her husband, and mom of two kiddos (and Opus, the high-maintenance, neurotic wonder dog).<br /><br />P.S. Gotta run. My three-year-old wants a banana....NOW!
Staff
2013-04-09T18:55:00Z
If I Could Make One Thing Come True For A Friend
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/If-I-Could-Make-One-Thing-Come-True-For-A-Friend/-317557420297504474.html
2013-04-09T18:51:00Z
2013-04-09T18:51:00Z
Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br /><br />If I could make one wish come true for my friend, I would wish she would put the relationships given to her in this life over the pursuit of "things." It would be my desire to see her love her husband in a way that he longs to be loved and respected, not in a, "I will do such and such for him, if he does such and such for me." I would also wish she would put her children in the right perspective: that those little ones are going to grow up before we know it, and enjoy them. Don't go back to school, pursue career goals, or put your girlfriends ahead of your babies. Time is fleeting. When your children make mistakes, be there to make them pay the consequences of their mistakes, so they will grow up knowing the world does not owe them. Be there to cook wholesome meals for them, to teach them, to talk to them, so that when they are teenagers, they will talk to you.<br /><br />For the friends who are placed in your life, be a friend, but don't be an enabler. If a friend is a victim, walk away. Look for friends who will strengthen you and help you grow into the person you were meant to be. As iron sharpens iron, so one man does another. Don't associate with women who bash their husbands, enable their children, and wallow in self pity. Associate with women who love their husbands, love their families, and who know that their strength is part of the foundation that keeps this world from falling apart. Life is a gift. Don't waste it on fruitless endeavors. Spend it on the things that will make us strong and bring us joy.<br /><br />Michelle<br />
Staff
2013-04-09T18:51:00Z
His Cheating Woke Me Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/His-Cheating-Woke-Me-Up/676371332470743969.html
2013-04-08T18:48:00Z
2013-04-08T18:48:00Z
My husband cheated on me after 10 years of marriage. I was busy with our young children and I wasn't quite getting it: He really, really needed to be intimate with me. He asked, he hinted for it, but I kept thinking: we will get around to it when I'm not tired. <br /><br />He started acting odd and saying "I'm just not happy". After a few weeks of this, he blurted it out: "I'm cheating on you!"<br /><br />The bottom fell out from under me. Everything I relied on as being always there, disappeared. For the next few weeks, I was riddled with anxiety. I could barely eat but tried to keep it together for the kids. <br /><br />My first instinct was to say "No, no we can work this out!" I didn't want to lose our family although he wasn't sure. He didn't want to go back to the way things were. <br /><br />We both knew that we needed time to think, read, and go to counseling to make the right decision. <br /><br />The 3 books that helped me were:<br /><br />The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands - This made me understand I could have prevented this. I actually have more control over his moods and happiness than I realized. <br /><br />5 Languages of Love - This book taught me that each person needs love to be shown to them different ways. For instance, he may like to be touched; I may like to hear words. And it's important to GIVE the person what they want instead of what YOU want to give them. <br /><br />Love Must Be Tough - This is designed only for the woman to read, especially in a moment of crisis like I was experiencing. It said: You may desperately want to cling on to this marriage and agree to do anything. But begging is pathetic, desperate women are not respected. You need to be strong and give a clear message or ultimatum. In other words, cheating will not be tolerated. <br /><br />The most amazing thing came out of this blow up. We started speaking honestly to each other. We had nothing to lose at this point. He had wanted a third child. I had put my foot down and said, "No." He was sad about that. He felt disappointed at what life was like at 35. I thought him he needed to shape up his pissy attitude even on his bad days at work. We hashed a bunch of stuff out. <br /><br />Once we realized we were going to make this work, a wash of gratitude came over both of us that it wasn't too late. We started truly falling in love again like at the beginning of our relationship, but with a deeper sense of meaning. We made time for date night. We made love more. Did I keep checking his texts and emails for a few months? Occasionally, but I stopped. I trust him more than ever now, since I know that I'm not taking him for granted anymore. <br /><br />I wanted to share to let people know that a good life and marriage may be possible after cheating. We aren't just staying together for the kids. Amazing how a bad event can turn things around for the better! <br /><br />Laura<br />
Staff
2013-04-08T18:48:00Z
Calling Out Rudeness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Calling-Out-Rudeness/-794322593068347364.html
2013-04-08T18:41:00Z
2013-04-08T18:41:00Z
Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I recently had a big mouth moment (one of many, really) that I wanted to share. Unfortunately, it's the bad behavior of many that triggered it, and I doubt I made a difference. Some people are just impossible to shame.<br /><br />I was with my in-laws recently and we were at a restaurant for breakfast. It was a very busy time, and there was standing room only to wait for a table. The benches were all occupied by young adults, overweight parents and their children. I stood about five feet from the door and turned my head to see an elderly woman using a cane, holding the door open with much difficulty. At the same moment, a young man blew through the door past her while SHE held the door open for HIM as he was leaving. I seriously wanted to smack him in the back of the head! I moved to get the door for her, but she was almost through at that point so I just smiled at her kindly. <br /><br />After she made it in, she looked around her to see if there was a seat available to her. I looked at these slobs on the benches and said in my best loud, utterly disgusted tone, "Really?! NOBODY is willing to give up their seat for this lady?! DISGUSTING!" I turned to her and said "Ma'am, if I were sitting, you would have my seat." There was a lady leaning on a wall and she at least moved so that this lady could rest from standing. All of those people looked away when I said that.<br /><br />Dr. Laura, I am sick to see how horribly selfish people are today. I think NOTHING of calling this wretched behavior out in the open, and welcome anyone to challenge me on it. You know what they say though... Karma is a bitch. One day they'll need a seat and the brats they're raising will let THEM stand there in pain. And it will serve them right. <br /><br />Julie<br />
Staff
2013-04-08T18:41:00Z
Letting Your Sons See Bad Behavior
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Letting-Your-Sons-See-Bad-Behavior/894362819045562302.html
2013-04-05T17:34:00Z
2013-04-05T17:34:00Z
Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I am divorced 3 years with two sons, ages 13 and 14. I was married for 12 years to a man who worked hard and provided for our family (I left my career as an engineer to be a stay-at-home mom); however I wish I had found you prior to getting married as I found I had made a mistake several years into the marriage. <br /><br />My husband worked on our farm and was around, in and out of the house, all day. He would micromanage my activities and got meaner and meaner. I was told "I don't know WHAT you do all day" and "SOMEONE has to make the money around here" even though I was taking care of two active boys that were 15 months apart and we were financially stable. After having the kids and being treated like an employee, I admit I wasn't my husband's girlfriend, so I accept my contribution to the downfall. However, he became verbally abusive, would berate and criticize me which got worse over time. I tried to stay and do what I could to keep the family together, went to counseling, etc. But the clarifying moment for me was when I realized my sons would think this is how you treat your wife and this is what a marriage is supposed to be like. I filed for divorce. <br /><br />I sometimes feel guilty for making a bad choice in their father. If I'd have given the relationship more time before marrying, I would have seen the trend. Your response to the caller at the end of hour 2 on April 3 regarding allowing her sons to see her husband's bad behavior really hit home with me and reinforced that I made the right decision. My boys have asked why we divorced and I told them straight up, "You cannot treat a wife, a girlfriend, a friend, anyone, the way your dad treated me and expect them to stick around." They knew he was mean to me so they understood. I make sure and listen to your program with them in the car sometimes so they can hear your advice. Their dad doesn't live by many of your principles, if any, but I work hard to show them better morals, a better way of life, and how to be a good person and I think they're getting it.<br /><br />Thanks for doing what you do.<br />Kim<br />
Staff
2013-04-05T17:34:00Z
Wise Words Regarding Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Wise-Words-Regarding-Marriage/-855118682687098413.html
2013-04-05T17:09:00Z
2013-04-05T17:09:00Z
Dennis Rainey once asked Elisabeth Elliot, who for decades has been one of the most respected women in Christian culture, a very specific question: "If you had a group of wives who had all been married between 10 and 15 years -- that difficult stretch when the honeymoon is long gone, when responsibilities are high, when the children are often plentiful and chaotic -- what would be the best piece of marriage advice you could give them?" <br /><br />"Respect your husband, and don't argue. A wife at that stage of marriage realizes this is not exactly the man she envisioned before the wedding ceremony. This person whom she thought was a prize package has turned out to be a surprise package. But the more you can offset the differences in your personalities and the way you respond to each other, the more you can learn to enjoy this man." <br />My husband once made the statement: "If a woman conceded the fact that her husband was perhaps up to 80 percent of her expectations, she ought to consider herself very lucky." Still, what's she going to do with the other 20 percent? <br />You can pick away at that 20 percent for the rest of your life, but you're not going to reduce it by very much. One of the secrets of a good marriage is learning to accept with gladness the 80 percent you've got.<br /><br />Joan<br />
Staff
2013-04-05T17:09:00Z
Product of a Second Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Product-of-a-Second-Marriage/-636788298484173207.html
2013-04-04T18:28:00Z
2013-04-04T18:28:00Z
<p>My father is my mother's second husband. She and her first husband divorced over 40 years ago after bringing two innocent children into the world, who are now in their 40s. I am a product of this second marriage.</p>
<p>I don't regret being born, but my childhood was stressful with the shadow of my mother's divorce hanging over all of us. I tried to make sense of what was going on by asking my mother why she and her first husband got divorced and she told me they "didn't love each other anymore." That scared me because I knew it was then possible she and my dad might not love each other someday. They fought a lot, especially about the older kids. My father was never really considered an authority when it came to my older siblings.</p>
<p>My older siblings are clearly damaged by their parent's divorce and subsequent remarriages. They never felt like they belonged or mattered. When I was very young, one of them told me he should never have been born. That upset me. I went to my mother for some reassurance and hoped she would tell me my brother was an important part of our family. Instead she told me he was right and that neither of my older siblings should have been born.</p>
<p>Thank you for clearly and forcefully telling people about the additional hurt their children will experience when they decide to remarry and especially if they make new kids.</p>
<p>Michelle</p>
Staff
2013-04-04T18:28:00Z
When a Child Dies
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-a-Child-Dies/264800711728013431.html
2013-04-04T18:25:00Z
2013-04-04T18:25:00Z
<p>Thank you for your video "<strong><a href="/b/Video:-Honor-Her-Memory/172430491957458966.html">Honor Her Memory</a></strong>." </p>
<p>My husband and I lost our daughter, Tensia, last October when our son-in-law took her life then his own. Thankfully their children were with us. Now we are engulfed within the legal battle of seeking custody of our 3-year-old and 1-year-old grandsons, a daunting but needful endeavor. As over 50-yr-olds we choose to look at the situation as a mid-life-renewal. Your comment of "Don't waste what she lost" is fulfilled in the care of two little ones.</p>
<p>So, with God as our lead, keeping our health and strength up, and our weight down -- you have to be able to run after toddlers - we metaphorically turn back the clock. Retirement is no longer the goal; our prayers are to help these boys be self-sufficient and not obligated to care for us.</p>
<p>Thank you for pressing on. We'll be listening.</p>
<p>Proudly,</p>
<p><br />J. & P. --J.'s my MAN of 31 yrs, and P. is his "never going to forget her flirt" girlfriend. We're parents of two sons, one daughter (deceased), and currently grandparents to four grandsons (two in our care).</p>
Staff
2013-04-04T18:25:00Z
Allowing Grandkids Access to Abusive or Mentally Ill Grandparents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Allowing-Grandkids-Access-to-Abusive-or-Mentally-Ill-Grandparents/62338888145345651.html
2013-04-03T19:10:00Z
2013-04-03T19:10:00Z
<p>I am an avid listener and find the calls you receive from adult children who question whether they should have a relationship with their abusive or mentally ill parents heartbreaking. It is very sad when adults still crave a 'nice' parent and have such difficulty coming to grips with the fact that their parents' are awful human beings. My heart breaks for these folks. But it does raise my eyebrows when they seem to desire a relationship for their children with that parent, so their kids can have 'grandparents'. I am always glad when you raise red flags and caution them against that.</p>
<p>If there is any doubt in listeners' minds that they are putting their children in harm's way, I share with you the following story that happened recently where the grandmother killed her two grandsons, in a murder-suicide. The bodies were found within walking distance of our home and our friend conducted the funeral. This was a horrible and very avoidable situation.</p>
<p>Here is the newspaper article: <a href="http://www.theday.com/article/20130226/NWS04/130229705/0/SEARCH" target="_blank">Murder/Suicide Leaves Two Boys Dead <br /></a><br />This grandmother had PERMISSION from her daughter to pick up the boys that day. It was the two-year-old's birthday and the mother did not want him at day care ALL day. The grandmother had PERMISSION despite years and years of documented mental illness to pick those boys up and bring them to the house to "open his birthday presents". The family waited at home, the boys never made it. The grandmother was no stranger to the local police department, and her family, despite the fact that none of them were licensed mental health workers, determined she 'was getting better'. Her grown children admit they were abused by her when they lived at home (she was married three times and still had a 13-year-old at home), yet they gave her permission to have the grandchildren unsupervised.</p>
<p>If folks think this can't happen to them, if this isn't a wakeup call, they are fooling themselves. This case has had devastating effects on the community. Why are folks in shock? Because they do not want to believe that anyone could be so evil. Wake up people....just because you have the title 'grandmother' doesn't make you sweet, kind, caring or a safe person to leave your kids with.</p>
<p>Joyce</p>
Staff
2013-04-03T19:10:00Z
First Love, Young Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/First-Love,-Young-Love/873770906471028170.html
2013-04-03T19:06:00Z
2013-04-03T19:06:00Z
<p>I met my first love working at a fast food restaurant just after high school. She was caring and a hard worker like me. She was very beautiful and had eyes that smiled all the time.</p>
<p>During our relationship which was like a whirlwind, we experienced many places and had many good times. From romantic meals to walks on the ocean, we shared some very special moments. She was also very responsible. While finishing up high school and going into college she was the one who supported her mother and brother. Family was important to her. Most of all she was very friendly to my all my friends. She became part of the group very quickly and I saw no one else who could be in my life. My friends echoed the sentiment and to this day they say the same thing. I wanted to be with no one but her and would have married her had time allowed.</p>
<p>The more I was with her, the more I did not want to be apart. Alas this was an issue, for we moved in together and that became our downfall. I had adored her too much and had in essence cut many others out of my life to be with her. When we broke up she said "You did nothing wrong but maybe you should have not been so nice." I ran into her just the other day after many years and still got the same sweaty palms and jitters as we talked. Though we laughed about how times had passed, I knew that in the end life turned out just fine!</p>
<p>Mr. D.</p>
Staff
2013-04-03T19:06:00Z
Staying Strong in Character
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Staying-Strong-in-Character/-219802312132175709.html
2013-04-02T17:40:00Z
2013-04-02T17:40:00Z
<p>I wanted to share a quick "praise report" about my 17-year-old daughter, who is a stronger young woman than I ever was! She stands up for herself and her beliefs, against the crowd. She has been bullied and disliked because of it, but she remains strong. At a high school Sadie Hawkins Dance recently, a group of kids were chanting names of the girls and telling them to kiss their dates. My daughter and her date, were not a couple, they were just friends. When she would not kiss her date, they called out other girls names, but came back to her. She told me she was the only girl who did not kiss her date under the pressure of the group. She was not the only one who took a "friend" to the dance, but all the other girls couldn't say, "No." She said she felt bad for the boy she was with, because she didn't want him to feel bad he was the only one who didn't get a kiss from his date, but that didn't cause her to falter in her stand of protecting herself and staying strong in her character.</p>
<p>I did not allow her to date until she was 16 and have encouraged her not to have a boyfriend. I've told her to wait to date seriously until she is ready to get married. I have listened to your wisdom and bestowed it upon her. Even though she is "allowed" to date, she doesn't. She has chosen to listen! I dated way too young and made a lot of poor choices that have affected me throughout my lifetime. I am fighting for her to not make the same mistakes. It has not been easy, and she has "hated" me throughout the process, but it is all paying off! I am one proud mom!</p>
<p>Shannon</p>
Staff
2013-04-02T17:40:00Z
Great Comebacks to Insults
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Great-Comebacks-to-Insults/503251411917867676.html
2013-04-02T17:32:00Z
2013-04-02T17:32:00Z
<p><strong>Michele:</strong><br />This is from my daughter when she was around 5. Grandad was at the kitchen sink doing dishes and he was in a rather grumpy mood.</p>
<p>"Grandad, what are you doing?"<br />Grandad replies gruffly, "I'm riding a bicycle!"<br />"Oh" she replies sweetly, "I have a pretend bicycle too!!"</p>
<p>He was so caught off-guard and ashamed at his sarcasm (totally lost on a child that age) he never uttered the phrase again...</p>
<p><br /><strong>Karen:</strong><br />My new husband and I spent a weekend with my parents. They had gone to bed arguing. In the middle of the night my mom in a loud voice said, "Jack, get off my arm; my hand's gone to sleep"! He replied in an equally loud voice, "Do you think if I slept on your head, your mouth would go to sleep?" My husband laughed so hard he fell off the sofa bed on which we were sleeping. It proceeded to fold up on me and pin me against the wall. This is a famous story that has been passed down through the family for years.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Jerry:</strong><br />I was listening to your talk about dealing with insults and it made me think of an incident I dealt with as a corrections officer. I was in the process of handing out the morning meal to the inmates in our sex-offender cell block when a particularly offensive rapist took his food tray from me and then proceeded to throw it on the floor, making a big mess. The inmate then simply turned and walked away from the door.</p>
<p>As he was walking away, I ignored the rule you mentioned of not showing you're upset and I simply yelled "BITCH" in his direction. I then quickly calmed down, thinking I had just garnered a complaint from that moron, but my one-word insult got him very upset. He came running back to the door and yelled, "What did you call me?" At this point I was thinking clearly and took the opportunity to make him look stupid and I simply said, "I didn't call you anything, I said 'bitch' and you answered."</p>
<p>The entire cell block burst into laughter you could see the embarrassment on his face. He did not calm down however, and he threatened to track me down when he got out of prison. This was about twenty years ago and I haven't heard back from him yet.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Cristy:</strong><br />I have been called worse by better.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Carol:</strong><br />My friend and a co-worker simultaneously approached a doorway.</p>
<p>The co-worker wisecracked to my friend, an older woman, "Age before beauty."</p>
<p>Without batting an eye as she passed, she gently retorted with this line from the New Testament, "Pearls before swine".</p>
Staff
2013-04-02T17:32:00Z
What a Great Husband, and He's Mine!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-a-Great-Husband,-and-Hes-Mine!/53052818760855153.html
2013-04-01T17:56:00Z
2013-04-01T17:56:00Z
<p>This morning, on a cold and snowy day, I realized I was out of wiper fluid. Normally, when I was single, I would check these sorts of things. But since I got married, I have never had to. (I will mention my husband has never once had to ask for a clean pair of socks or a nice dinner since we got married either!) I called my husband just to let him know I would get some at the gas station on the way home, and before I knew it, he was on his way to my job (40 minutes away) to fill my car with wiper fluid. I could have cried when I walked out to the parking lot.</p>
<p>Did I mention that he is also a stay at home dad to our kids and it was his idea for me to reduce my schedule to part time also?</p>
<p>I haven't gotten any work done; I've been smiling all day. I've already called him twice to let him know he's my hero.</p>
<p>Shannon</p>
Staff
2013-04-01T17:56:00Z
How to Get Kicked Off an Aircraft
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-to-Get-Kicked-Off-an-Aircraft/-305996158083359934.html
2013-04-01T17:51:00Z
2013-04-01T17:51:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am a flight attendant for a large international carrier. And I love my job! In my career I have had experiences deplaning passengers for disruptive or inappropriate behavior. It is a sad commentary on morals, ethics and values, when dealing with the new reality on airplanes. It is sad that we seem to be losing our moral compass and common sense.</p>
<p>I have had to deplane passengers for dressing inappropriately (too much skin, not enough fabric to cover the important parts), being inebriated, rude and disruptive, physically abusing a spouse or child, and yes, the mile high club. Perhaps you heard what happened last year to the two executives from RIM (the blackberry company) on a flight from Toronto to Beijing. Due to fighting with each other and the crew, they had to land the aircraft in Vancouver and put up all the other passengers and crew in hotels, while these idiots landed up in jail and also lost their high paying jobs. That's a lot of hotel and expense for all as well as disrupted travel plans.</p>
<p>I believe we need to be kinder, more thoughtful and stop believing the world revolves around us and our needs. Entitlement is such a nasty word.</p>
<p>Please keep my name confidential.</p>
<p>P.S. Welcome aboard. We still aim to please; it's just harder these days. It sure would be nice to go back to the old Pan Am days when men were men and ladies were ladies.</p>
Staff
2013-04-01T17:51:00Z
Letting the Little Things Go
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Letting-the-Little-Things-Go/-986980314675199140.html
2013-03-29T19:11:00Z
2013-03-29T19:11:00Z
Dr. Laura, <br /> <br />I'm writing in <a href="/b/I-Wish-I-Would-Have-Been-Nicer-to-My-Husband/-845344879322390984.html" target="_blank">response to the letter</a> you just read about the 38 year old mother of 3 who just lost her husband to cancer. It really hit home because I am a 38-year-old stay-at-home/home-schooling mother of 2 girls, and I am also familiar with losing someone to cancer as pancreatic cancer took my mother's life 3 years and 2 days ago. The purpose of this letter is an attempt to give you hope that you have gotten through to at least some of us. <br /> <br />Right now, my husband is spending his day off fishing with a buddy. If he never made it back home, I can rest assured that our last moments were loving, he knew how much I love him, and I know how much he loves me. You finally got through to me about 7 years ago when I learned to let the little things go. My husband was then (and still is now) a police officer, an officer in the military reserves, and a volunteer EMT-I. The risk of him not coming home when he heads to work each day is much too great to give the little stuff a moments thought when he is home with me. I've learned to appreciate stuff out on the bathroom counter and dirty clothes on the floor...it all means he's home with me. So at least for this listener, if, God forbid, I am ever in that woman's shoes I can know for certain I will go on with not a single regret about my marriage. <br /> <br />On a much lighter note, I wanted to tell you about my 7-year-old daughter. The other day you were talking about kids and picky eaters. You said something to the effect of not thinking there were any kids out there who don't like mac and cheese. It made me laugh because she likes neither pasta or cheese. She'll tolerate spaghetti if accompanied with meatballs and vegetables. She'd be much happier with a plate full of veggies and a bit of chicken or elk steak (my husband and I both hunt and stock our freezer ourselves). But for those dinners when I do make mac and cheese (home-made...we don't eat instant food that comes in boxes) I am sure to include a couple of other dishes she will enjoy instead. <br /> <br />Take heart, Dr. Laura. You may not always hear from us, but many of us are listening and applying what we have learned listening to you. <br /> <br />All the best to you, <br /> <br />Traci
Staff
2013-03-29T19:11:00Z
Unwarranted Guilt Feelings
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Unwarranted-Guilt-Feelings/-995269672713229286.html
2013-03-29T18:56:00Z
2013-03-29T18:56:00Z
Recently I recalled, out of thin air, a young lady I met while I was in college. That was 38 years ago. I had never dated anyone at the time. Her dad introduced us. She was a beautiful sweet girl and I got to spend a couple hours chatting with her at a party. Then a couple weeks later, I saw her with her family but did not speak to her. I guess I felt a little nervous or something. I am not too sure why I didn't speak to her at that time. <br /> <br />Now 38 years later, through the magic of open internet records, I have learned she has been married and divorced three times (once with an order of protection from her husband), has been foreclosed on, and filed for bankruptcy a number of years ago. I was heartbroken for her, and felt like it was all my fault. I felt if I had just spoken to her back then she would not have run off and made those bad decisions in her life. I just knew I would not have treated her the way at least two of her husbands treated her. It is hard to know. People are usually going to do what they are going to do, no matter what wise counsel they get. <br /> <br />But I kept harboring those guilty feelings. Well, I finally figured out that while I was not responsible for her bad decisions, or the bad treatment she received from her husbands. I SHOULD have felt bad about not speaking to her. She was (is) a sweet young lady and I would have been lucky to have her in my life. My behavior WAS just plain rude. Perhaps this was not the most prudent approach, but I found that young lady, now a grandmother, on Facebook, and sent her an apology for my rudeness, 38 years in arears. I wish I had done that the day after I last saw her. I wouldn't have wasted about 15 years looking for my current (first) wife. I never got a response, which is fine, but at least I have done what I felt I was convicted to do. I have prayed about this many times since then, asking God to bless her and her family. That's all I can do at this point, as I have a wife and family of my own to concern myself with. So that's how I addressed my guilty feelings. <br /> <br />Martin
Staff
2013-03-29T18:56:00Z
Guilt vs. Shame
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Guilt-vs.-Shame/-406525556944586986.html
2013-03-28T18:10:00Z
2013-03-28T18:10:00Z
Great topic on "Guilt Gone Awry"<br /><br />For me, it's important to differentiate between Guilt and Shame. Guilt is healthy, and says "I did something bad." Shame is toxic, and says, "I AM bad." For many of us who try to overcompensate, shame is running our lives.<br /><br />The best way to expose shame and let it go, is to find the roots. Who first told me I was bad? Challenge those old family systems and root beliefs in a good 12-step group and with trusted friends or a therapist.<br /><br />My life has been utterly transformed as I finally learn to release shame.<br /><br />Thanks for letting me share. I respect and appreciate you, Dr. Laura, and I REALLY miss hearing you on the radio.<br /><br />John
Staff
2013-03-28T18:10:00Z
Bad Flying Experiences
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bad-Flying-Experiences/-325707618519167717.html
2013-03-28T17:45:00Z
2013-03-28T17:45:00Z
Dr. Laura asked, "What's the worst experience you've had on an airplane?" Here are only a few of the responses we received:<br /><br /><strong>Bobbi:</strong><br />My worst experience flying was 22 months ago when my husband, my 12-year-old daughter, and I flew back to Fayetteville NC for my son's funeral after he was killed in Afghanistan. Our reservations were last minute of course, and our seats were not together. We were told this would be handled easily at check-in. Not only was it not handled, we were told by the gate agent we would have to pay additional money or wait and ask our seatmates if they would consider moving. She was made aware of the reason for our travel with the letters and orders we had from the Army, but she stated, "It doesn't matter why you are flying. You will have to wait until you get on the plane."<br /><br />After two phone calls to US Air, the head flight attendant helped us and the flight crew was wonderful during the time on the airplane. Unfortunately, the airline made one of the worst days of our lives nearly unbearable.<br /><br /><strong>Mary:</strong><br />A few years ago, our family of 5 was on a large, international flight. Our 8-year-old daughter, sitting next to me, became air-sick. Unfortunately, we could only find one barf bag in the entire row. My daughter used it for several minutes, then we noticed it had a hole in the bottom. I realized both of our pants were now soaked in vomit. The plane, of course, was packed and the stewardesses were hectically scrambling to help other people. My daughter and I eventually did get some paper towels from the closet-sized bathroom, but we both just had to endure. We have since rehashed the experience several times and have concluded that difficult situations prepare you to cope with worse ones....<br /><br /><strong>Sue:</strong><br />I had gone through half of my chemo treatments, healing from two breast surgeries, and was preparing to have a breast removed when my husband thought it would be nice to take me on a short vacation. We planned to go to Canada and I was going to walk over a suspension bridge. I'm terribly afraid of heights, but felt if I could fight cancer, I could certainly walk across a bridge.<br /><br />At the airport, I set off the alarm going through security. The attendant announced she was going to "pat me down." There was a screen up and I asked that she take me behind the screen, under the circumstances. Due to my bald head, she knew I had cancer. She told me "If you want privacy, I'll take you in the back room for a strip search and you will miss your plane." I asked that she be gentle as I was recovering. She wasn't. We haven't flown since.<br /><br />I must balance this with a wonderful TSA agent on our return flight. I had my hat on, covering my head and the agent asked me to please lift my hat just high enough for her alone to see that there was nothing but bald underneath.<br /><br />It's unfortunate that in the name of safety many TSA agents believe that their power gives them the right to treat people without any respect, let alone dignity.<br />That was five years ago. In Sept. we'll be flying again to celebrate our 40th Anniversary, by hiking in Bryce.<br /><br /><strong>Vicki:</strong><br />We were on a return trip from India to Chicago. This was during the time that planes were beginning to be hijacked and some Americans had been murdered. Our itinerary said we had one stop after leaving New Delhi and that was to be Heathrow in London. My husband is 6'3" and I am not a small person either. We did not look forward to 17 hours in the air and were happy to be able to get seats with no seats in front of us for the extra leg room. We settled in and both fell asleep.<br /><br />Through the haze of early deep sleep, I became aware the plane was landing. I knew it was way too soon. There was a door in the side of the plane across from the galley that was immediately in front of us. After we landed, the door opened. I looked out and was horrified to see all on the Tarmac dressed in Arab garb including white headdresses. I was convinced we had been hijacked. I shook my husband awake and told him to hide our American passports and to speak only Polish.<br /><br />I felt very foolish when the airline personnel told us we had landed in Dubai to refuel. They regularly did this because the cost of fuel was so much less expensive in the UAE. Wish they had told us about that BEFORE we landed.<br />
Staff
2013-03-28T17:45:00Z
Soul Searching is for the Couch - Not the Internet
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Soul-Searching-is-for-the-Couch---Not-the-Internet/-633533920686248792.html
2013-03-27T17:44:00Z
2013-03-27T17:44:00Z
I share too much, or at least I used to, but not anymore. For safety reason, I don't like people knowing where I am at any particular time or will be going in the future. Also sharing being upset can backfire, because a person can get over being upset, but the printed word stays forever. It is for these reasons that I no longer use Facebook.<br /><br />We are losing a sense of privacy also a sense of specialness with the most personal details of our lives becoming public knowledge. So to combat this trend, I don't chat about myself and even watch what I send in emails to so-called friends (especially Internet friends), because that too can come back to haunt a person. People like to gossip. When I was upset at my sister, I sent some emails that really weren't intended to be as harsh as they appeared in print - in print the punch was extreme, then I tried to make amends and she said - "I have kept your emails and re-read them so I remember always what you said." How shocking. If a person is going to save and rehash old emails, how can relationship improve? Or if the trival becomes the size of a mountain, where can a person go from there but downhill.<br /><br />Hence, I am very careful about what I email and don't read or use facebook. What is bothering is there seems no way to hide these days, not even where we live, and I believe so much of our lives need to be private and personal and not for the public or even neighbors' consumption. By broadcasting our inner most thoughts and feelings to the world, we risk making our lives trival.<br /><br />I think of my daughter, who is an MD. She was living outside the United States and working in a clinic. She had a blog and wrote about her trials, sorrows, depression, difficulties with life etc. Even though I tried to tell her broadcasting these feelings was not wise, she did it anyway, and rather quickly was taken off the active MD duty and put in an administration position.<br /><br />The less people know the personal details of your life the better. Soul searching is for the therapy couch and a good trusted counseler, not for Facebook, the Internet, personal blogs, or emails that can be shared.<br /><br />L.<br />
Staff
2013-03-27T17:44:00Z
Pangaea
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Pangaea/-771685764643249217.html
2013-03-27T17:35:00Z
2013-03-27T17:35:00Z
Good morning, Dr. Laura (Yes, it's technically morning here on the east coast and I'm still up...I'm going to regret that tomorrow... It's hard to sleep these days though.)<br /><br />HOWEVER, I had an interaction today that I hope brings a smile to your face.<br /><br />My toddler is having surgery to repair a hernia tomorrow. (Please say a prayer for him and for me and my husband's strength. Now you know why I can't sleep.) Yet another nice sounding lady called me today to gather the same information for the umpteenth time and when she asked how "he" (A TODDLER!) identified his race/ethnicity, I had had enough and I blurted out "<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pangaea" target="_blank">Pangaean</a>." [insert confused pause] "Prove me wrong," I said. I'm pretty sure she had NO idea what I was talking about given her nervous laugh, but at least I was laughing by the end of the phone call.<br /><br />OK. Yes. I'm a total dork.<br /><br />Take care and thank you for the constant prodding me to do the "right thing"!<br /><br />Meghann
Staff
2013-03-27T17:35:00Z
The First Time Holding My Baby
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-First-Time-Holding-My-Baby/177802434516146721.html
2013-03-26T17:41:00Z
2013-03-26T17:41:00Z
Wow, I can't say what a wonderful day that was. 48 hours of labor and 14 days over my due date I was one happy and proud momma. My first born son was 8lbs and holding his head up. He was a joy and thinking about him brings tears to my eyes today. Time flies by so fast, but I can remember the doctor watching "Jeopardy" while I was in labor. I never yelled or screamed during labor, I just wanted to hold my baby boy.<br /><br />Now almost 21 years later, I look back on that day and remember what a joyful day it was being the first boy of my three sons. Nobody can take away the feeling of having a baby and holding him for the first time.<br /><br />I listen to your show every day when I pick up my middle son and do a lot of laughing thinking how can people ask question that I can answer. I bet you have a mute button so people can't hear you hitting the desk or rolling your eyes when they ask something off the wall. You give lots of wonderful advice and I really do appreciate all that you say and do!<br /><br />I am my kids' mom and I try to do the right thing! Sometimes I get in trouble.<br /><br />Have a great day Dr. Laura! I will be listening in a bit in my car!<br /><br />Michelle
Staff
2013-03-26T17:41:00Z
Putting Myself In Her Shoes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Putting-Myself-In-Her-Shoes/908376285819573307.html
2013-03-26T17:31:00Z
2013-03-26T17:31:00Z
My father was sent to America from Scotland when he was just a boy (between 9 and 12 years old). His father had died when he was an infant and his mother had eventually re-married and had two more children. The man she married was a mean alcoholic and was abusive to my father. So, my grandmother believed it would be in the best interest of my father to send him to America to be adopted by her sister-in-law and her husband. They wanted children but were unable to conceive, were financially well off and my grandmother believed they could provide a wonderful life for her eldest son.<br /><br />Because her husband was so mean to her first-born son, my dad spent most of his time at his grandmother's home where he felt very loved, safe and secure - it was the early 1940's. His mother never explained to him why she was taking him from the loving arms of his grandmother and sending him away. The only thing my dad knew was that he was being taken from the only person he felt truly loved him, taken from the security of his grandmother, taken from his home, and being sent to a foreign country to live with people he had never met and never known. His mother was "throwing him away". Had he done something wrong? Was he "bad"? To this day I don't think he truly understands.<br /><br />I would like to have been there to witness what she went through to make such a decision. Although I doubt I could have sent my son away, it was quite a different time. Maybe I would have done the same thing. Regardless of her motives, I hope it was a selfless decision, not a selfish one. I would like to have been there, to be the friend she talked to about it. I would like to understand how and why she made the decision she did. I would like to understand why she did it the WAY she did, without talking and explaining and preparing her son for such a change in his life.<br /><br />My dad grew up, left home, and became an alcoholic, wandering all over the country; running from the pain of being "worthless and unwanted". My dad has endured much heartache and as a result has also caused just as much.<br /><br />I only met my grandmother a couple of times before she passed away so I never got to ask her, myself, why and how she could make the decisions she made. I would like to go back in time, back in history, to 1940-something Scotland, to see what she saw, feel what she may have felt, and know the woman who sent her son, alone, across a vast ocean to Brooklyn, NY.<br /><br />Katherine<br />
Staff
2013-03-26T17:31:00Z
Something I Learned from My Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Something-I-Learned-from-My-Dad/-709908566557739145.html
2013-03-25T17:17:00Z
2013-03-25T17:17:00Z
My dad was a disciplinarian but he was fair, he was always there for the entire family, not just our immediate family, but for his siblings, his parents, my mom's parents and her siblings.<br /><br />He would do anything for us, he taught us how to be responsible for our actions, he taught us how to be frugal with our money, and above all, he and my mother taught us how a loving relationship can last forever. As a result, my wife and I have been married for 35 years. We have passed on his work ethic and respect for people to our 3 children.<br /><br />My dad worked 2 jobs for many years in order to make ends meet so my mom could stay at home with me and my two sisters. My wife quit working the day our oldest son was born and did not work outside the home again for 23 years.<br /><br />My dad would put you over his knee and give you a good wallop when you deserved it, but he never hit me, and there were quite a few times when I was a teen that I deserved a good ass-kickin'.<br /><br />Later in life he developed manic-depression, and it was difficult on all of us, including him as he was reduced to depending on others. I remember one period when he was in a manic state for weeks and was being very nasty to my mom. She called me late at night crying and asked me to hurry over. She was afraid he was going to hurt her. I was there in about 5 minutes. When I drove up he was in the backyard. I rushed back there yelling and asking what he was doing to mom. He stood his ground and did not flinch at his 210 lbs son rushing him. We both just collapsed into each other crying because we both knew how much he was hurting. He told me he thought I was going to hit him. I told him I never could do that because he never hit me.<br /><br />He passed in 1994 and sometimes it feels like it was only yesterday and we were talking, other times it feels like 100 years since I have seen him. I miss him very much, but I have always tried to treat my wife and kids with the respect they deserve as people, that is something I learned from him.<br /><br />Tom<br />
Staff
2013-03-25T17:17:00Z
I Thought She Was the Shark...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Thought-She-Was-the-Shark.../-85832658458056825.html
2013-03-25T17:12:00Z
2013-03-25T17:12:00Z
Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I just finished reading "Surviving a Shark Attack (on Land)" and wow the scales have fallen from my eyes. You see, I had a falling out with my thirty-year-old step-daughter. For the past four years, I thought that SHE was the shark I needed to try to survive from, but after reading your book I have realized I have been HER shark. Not only have I rejoiced in her recent, but deserved loss of her job and her consequentially dire financial situation, I have spent so much time thinking negatively about her that it is changing me into a nasty lady who I don't like very much.<br /><br />So you see this book has helped me so much, though not in the way I had expected. You definitely helped my errant thinking and I am so thankful I can stop being the shark.<br /><br />Love you Dr. Laura. Thanks for everything you do.<br /><br />C.
Staff
2013-03-25T17:12:00Z
When to Dump a Guy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-to-Dump-a-Guy/-539427969650959864.html
2013-03-22T17:04:00Z
2013-03-22T17:04:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura -</p>
<p>This might seem insignificant or even shallow, but if a man does not think my jokes are funny, I would dump him in a minute. <br /><br />For one, it might show that he does not have a sense of humor - definitely not a keeper. If he cannot laugh at life's difficulties, his life - and mine - will be WAY too long, for surely the challenges will come. It probably also means he cannot laugh at himself. <br /><br />That he does not think my jokes are funny also shows me he does not see the world as I do, for any number of reasons. As a Christian, I am called to be an optimist. There is a way to explain things that makes life have sense, and there is even a purpose in difficulties. Back to #1 - life will be way too long without laughing at the ridiculous along the way.<br /><br />I believe humor shows innate intelligence, which is something I must have in a man.<br /><br />I will have been married 30 years this coming August. This was the very first thing I noticed about my husband when I met him. He thought my jokes were funny. He laughed with me about the funny things in life. We have a wonderful marriage, more than I could ever have dreamed of, and I believe it has to do with his light-hearted understanding of the seriousness and fragility of life, his willingness to make mistakes, and his charming way of embracing the fullness of life, warts and all.</p>
<p>Bette</p>
Staff
2013-03-22T17:04:00Z
Firemen Are Heroes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Firemen-Are-Heroes/105623561526185017.html
2013-03-22T17:01:00Z
2013-03-22T17:01:00Z
<p>This is the <a href="http://www.gainesville.com/article/20100430/ARTICLES/4301003" target="_blank">link</a> to the newspaper report about the rescue of my Australian Cattle Dog mix, Millie, by Joe Cox, who is the Fire Chief for Alachua County in Gainesville, Florida.<br /><br />What the newspaper doesn't say is, I think, the most amazing part of the story. <br /><br />Millie, an Australian Cattle Dog mix, was dropped off at the Alachua County Animal Shelter in Gainesville, Florida. She was deemed to be not adoptable because she was so terrified of people that she literally shut down when approached. When the vet at the shelter was preparing the injection to 'put her down' she realized what a beautiful dog Mille was and, on a hunch, called a woman who shares a love of Australian Cattle Dogs. She agreed to foster Millie and on April 18th, 2010, I adopted Millie.<br /><br />One week later, my mobile home was destroyed by fire. I later got the fire report and this is the essence of the report. The firefighters made entry into my home and my chocolate Labrador, Jackson, immediately ran out of the house. Firefighters thought they may have heard another dog, but my neighbor, unaware I had gotten Millie, told them I only had one dog. The fire was so intense the firefighters were forced to leave the home. Once the blaze had subsided, Joe Cox reentered the home. He heard Millie whimpering, but the smoke was so dense he couldn't find her (and in all likelihood she was hiding from him). He continued searching until he was ordered to exit the home again due to the amount of smoke and the potential danger to himself. The firefighters set up fans to exhaust some of the smoke and Joe Cox entered my home for a third time. He finally located Millie and actually fell through the floor bringing her out. <br /><br />When I arrived at the scene, not only was Joe Cox administering oxygen to Millie (as it shows in the picture) he had also started an IV on her and was on the phone with his vet trying to determine if there was anything else he could do for her. I later found of that he spends some of his personal time at his vet's office learning how to administer first aid to animals he might encounter in his duties as Fire Chief.<br /><br />Millie has made continued progress in the time since the fire. She will always have a 'smokers cough' but it doesn't interfere with her enjoyment of life. Losing so much in the fire would have been unbearable had I also lost my dogs as well, as I'm sure you'll understand. Without Joe Cox's extraordinary efforts, I certainly would have lost Millie.<br /><br />I sleep better at night knowing that Joe Cox and others like him are in the world.<br /><br />Sandra</p>
Staff
2013-03-22T17:01:00Z
A SAHM Who Doesn't 'Just' Stay at Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-SAHM-Who-Doesnt-Just-Stay-at-Home/-32077313028688546.html
2013-03-21T18:07:00Z
2013-03-21T18:07:00Z
Dr Laura,<br /><br />I wrote you almost 6 years ago, and was lucky enough to catch the part of your program where you read my letter. I should have been a statistic. I was a young mother, who married my high school sweetheart. We've had our ups and downs, but through faith, family support, and a lot of work, we have overcome what could have broken us. We have been together over 11 years now! Wow! I cannot believe it. I've been a stay-at-home mom to all 4 of our children - 3 of who are now in school!<br /><br />Here is my "soap box" of the year! I felt like an outcast at my children's school. I did not work 50 hour weeks. I did not drop my kids off at 7:15am in the cafeteria to wait until 7:45 for the bell, or pick them up at 7 pm from after school care only to feed them and put them to bed. I became the class room volunteer so I could share in their day. I ate lunch with them, so I could (secretly) make sure they were eating instead of talking. I joined the PTA and started becoming involved in the school. My children are in various after school activities, all of which I know the parents, the teachers, the team mates, etc. My children know that I am there.<br /><br />Our parent/teacher conferences went quickly with "your children are smart, adjusted and respectful. Just keep up the good work". Wow. My husband and I who started off not knowing what the heck we were doing, and still have our occasional "oops" moments, did something really right. We loved each other. We put our kids first. We sacrificed, and bent over backwards to make them feel loved and accepted through everything they choose to do in life. My oldest son is at the top of his class. The mom who "just stays at home", who just volunteers at the school, that's HER son.<br /><br />I recently had an older mom (older than ME, I was young when I had my children!) tell me the only reason I am able to do all these things for my kids is because I am young and have energy. Really? My toddler has not slept more than 4 hours straight since he was born - he's almost 3. I am tired of being looked down upon because I chose to stay home. I'm not a cop out. I work my butt off in all I do, because I want to show my kids that no matter what they choose to do, they can do it successfully. I chose to rock being a mom and a wife. People say they don't know how I do it. I don't either. I just do it, because I expect greatness for my family. It doesn't happen by luck, it's determination. Age isn't a factor in how involved you are in your child's life. I would never in my right mind accuse someone of being TOO old to be a mother, why in the world would anyone feel the right to do it in the reversed situation. I am a perfectionist, and overly organized, but at the end of the day I am a sleep deprived mother of 4 and my husband's girlfriend, and I love every minute of it.<br /><br />Stephanie<br />
Staff
2013-03-21T18:07:00Z
My Passion for Beads
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Passion-for-Beads/501321841131395384.html
2013-03-21T17:45:00Z
2013-03-21T17:45:00Z
Hi Dr. Laura!<br /><br />Long time Colorado listener, my children's mom, husband's girlfriend, and I chose wisely. I love your show and want to share my story with you! I believe my happiness and fulfillment is a result of these wise choices (at the ripe young age of 40)!<br /><br />I've been so blessed with a wonderful husband, whose profession has allowed me to stay home with 3 beautiful children (and 2 ill-behaved dogs)! I too am a beader (metal-smither, pmc enthusiast, resin crafter, etcher, etc). I'll try it all, but always come back to the beads. I started this hobby some 15 yrs ago.<br /><br />When several bead stores in our area started closing shop, my husband had a brilliant idea (little did he know it would come to fruition). We took an old '69 VW bus and converted it into a "mobile bead store"! (We don't sell finished jewelry, just the supplies). It's <a href="https://www.facebook.com/#!/Beadsonthebuscom?fref=ts" target="_blank">"The Bead Bus!"</a> It's so awesome and something one could only dream of doing. My girlfriends and I take it around to the local craft fairs, indie flea markets, birthday parties, etc. I think we spend more than we make but are making so many memories. My kids thought I was crazy until it was all cleaned up and "cool" looking, now all the neighborhood kids want rides.<br /><br />One of my bucket list items is to bring the bus to California and camp on the beach (well, not really "camp"), but stay in a nice hotel while I get some pictures of it on the beach! We have to figure out how to get it to go over the mountains though.<br /><br />Thanks for the many years of lessons, and outlook on life!<br /><br />I'm getting ready to head to Tucson to check out the gem shows! It's my first time there and hubby is going with me for the weekend. He wants nothing to do with beads, but will go drive me to the shows, drop me off and go do his own thing. We'll then meet up for some nice dinners in the evening. I'm so excited to check it out, and especially to have a partner by my side! I don't know if you have seen the "Hey Girl" picture on the net going around about Tucson, but I'm going to try to send it to you or try to post it on your wall. I think it made my year!<br /><br />Anyway, happy beading, hiking, pool playing, etc...and thanks again for showing me how to make the most out of every day!!!<br /><br />Shannon
Staff
2013-03-21T17:45:00Z
Music and Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Music-and-Kids/324454843955739177.html
2013-03-20T17:06:00Z
2013-03-20T17:06:00Z
Dear Mom a.k.a. Dr. Laura,<br /><br />When I was growing up, any music was approved to listen to and that was across the board. Now, I really did not question too many things, so when I heard all the "love/drug" music of the 60's and early 70's, I had no clue what many of the words meant. I listened to the actual music.<br /><br />Now that I'm older and hear that music, I am shocked that as a young child I was able to listen to it. Did I grow up to be a delinquent? No, and I was not really worse for the hearing. Most of my friends were no worse for the hearing of said music either. The culture of the times still dictated civility and manners. Rebelling was to go bra-less or, for the guys, wearing your hair long.<br /><br />With my son, the early 90's seemed pretty tame. We had an anything goes for music and things that could be read (obtained from a local library) policy. Movies were another thing. Those I did restrict those by viewing them first, then the kiddo could watch. And I taught self-censoring.<br /><br />Now with my future (hopefully) grandchildren, it could be a much different story. Society is much different and you have to go beyond the fringe extremes to rebel. I would want my grandchildren to have a variety of music available to them and for my son and (future) wife to teach self-censoring rather than mandating. Hearing the music of today allows us to teach how NOT to be.<br /><br />Warmest Regards,<br /><br />Shelley
Staff
2013-03-20T17:06:00Z
Everyone Should Beware When Meeting Someone Online
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Everyone-Should-Beware-When-Meeting-Someone-Online/322056375800382677.html
2013-03-20T16:53:00Z
2013-03-20T16:53:00Z
Although predators of children have found the Internet to be their best 'venue' for foul attractions, it can happen in business too.<br /><br />After many 'back-n-forth' conversations for introducing a new business associate to my team, the face-to-face meeting turned out having me try and "save face."<br /><br />He wasn't a graduate of anything as he had claimed, but a GED from prison. He covered all his tracks on the Internet through stealing another persons' business identity. He thought meeting me in person would make me forget all the deceitfulness it took to get there, since he supposedly had 'great ideas'. It ended up being a harmless embarrassment for me, but for stalkers, it would have been the opportunity to pounce.<br /><br />Law officials have given us all the same advice for avoiding violent crimes perpetrated upon ourselves... "Never let them take you to the 2nd crime scene." In cases of Internet friends meeting in person, the victim is actually <em>volunteering</em> to show up at the second crime scene.<br /><br />Lisa
Staff
2013-03-20T16:53:00Z
Leaving on a Bad Note
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Leaving-on-a-Bad-Note/-639489176878317884.html
2013-03-19T18:11:00Z
2013-03-19T18:11:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I was listening to your podcast of the <a href="/programhighlights?date=20130312">March 12th show</a> and I heard you talking to a lady who's nephew died while she was not speaking to him. Your advice was more than wise, it was hard hitting.<br /><br />When my second daughter was born (about 12 years ago) my mother and I got into some pretty heated arguments which eventually led to us not speaking for years. About 3 months after my youngest daughter was born, my mom got very sick and ended up in the hospital in a coma for 30 days. I visited her every day and swore that I would never let something come between us again.<br /><br />After about 30 days in the coma, she came around and was on the path to full recovery. She and I made amends and during her rehabilitation time I visited her every other night. About 7 days into the rehab treatment I made a visit and we got into a little spat about her and her sisters. I left that night saying that I was going to be back with her granddaughter who she hadn't yet met. But I left without giving her a hug or kiss goodbye because she had made me so mad. <br /><br />The next morning I got a call telling me she was going to be coming home that night so we were all going to meet at her home. Then later that same day I the news she had died from a blood clot that formed during her time in the coma. <br /><br />It took me over three years to get over the guilt of not giving her that last hug and kiss goodbye. Even now, writing this it brings me back to the terrible nights of anguishing over being so immature and wrong. The worst part is, she never did get to see my youngest daughter...<br /><br />I love your show, it has made me a better man and should be mandatory listening. Please keep up the great work.<br /><br />Best regards,</p>
<p><br />Dan</p>
Staff
2013-03-19T18:11:00Z
Assumptions...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Assumptions.../445116792402219944.html
2013-03-19T18:09:00Z
2013-03-19T18:09:00Z
<p>I am a changed woman...THANK YOU!! I recently heard your advice to a caller who you told "You can never rise above someone's assumption of you!" Dr. Laura, this was a life changing moment for me.<br /><br />I then reflected over my life. How many times have I assumed my husband would forget the bread that I asked him to pick up on his way home from work? How many times did I set people up for failure under my assumptions? In these few moments, I experienced a lifetime of change. I realized that in my assumptions, I forfeited grace and mercy. I forfeited living in the moment, giving someone the benefit of the doubt, fellowship, and sharing warm fuzzy feelings with my man! This is a price I no longer want to pay. Therefore, I release my assumptions of others and I let go of trying to correct others assumptions of me. Because just as you, "Mother Laura" stated there is "nothing I can do about it anyway."<br /><br />Blessings on your day!<br /><br />A Sweet Georgia Peach<br />Staci</p>
Staff
2013-03-19T18:09:00Z
What Happened When Parents Played Favorites
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Happened-When-Parents-Played-Favorites/-465718360648219998.html
2013-03-18T17:36:00Z
2013-03-18T17:36:00Z
Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I grew up in a household where my parents absolutely played favorites and did nothing to hide it. There were 3 of us each separated by 4 years. The oldest, my sister, was never treated fairly by my folks. It was sad even as a child to see that. As a result, she ran away at 15 years old. She did eventually come back a few years later, earn her GED and go to college and complete it with a bachelor's degree. However, even now in her 50s, she is affected by our childhood.<br /><br />My brother, who was the middle child, was the golden child in my mom's eyes. He could do no wrong. He grew pot on the roof, he did drugs, drank alcohol and was arrested several times as a youth, yet he still could do no wrong and my mother always bailed him out no matter what. Today, he is a 50-year-old narcissist who has alienated himself from everyone including me and my 4 children.<br /><br />I, being the youngest, got the special attention from my dad. My mom hated the attention and would not speak to me for days at a time.<br /><br />Needless to say, as adults, how our parents played favorites played a huge role in how we are as adults. I am the only one who had kids and I make darn sure never to play favorites. My sister never wanted kids because she saw childhood as very unhappy. My brother never had kids nor married because he grew into a very self-centered narcissistic adult. I'm fairly certain it all came about from how my parents treated us.<br /><br />Wendy
Staff
2013-03-18T17:36:00Z
Pay Attention to Your Kid - Not Your Phone
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Pay-Attention-to-Your-Kid---Not-Your-Phone/-75353104972124339.html
2013-03-18T17:20:00Z
2013-03-18T17:20:00Z
One of the most egregious uses of a cell phone I've witnessed, and while it may not be extreme compared to others, was at a grocery store. Ironically, I was in line to get prenatal vitamins and a woman with her child were behind me. He was attempting to get her attention by repeatedly saying, "Mom? Mom? Mom?" But she was talking on her phone, the conversation apparently so important that her son wasn't worth garnering her attention. Eventually she turned to him and snapped, "What?" The expression on his face made me want to cry.<br /><br />I make it a point to hardly ever be on the phone in front of my children...in the car, in the grocery store, or even at home. If I have to talk to someone and I know it will be a long conversation I will talk to that person when my children are taking naps. Or if I receive a call that I absolutely have to take at the moment, I will occupy them with games or TV or something.<br /><br />It's sad to see how often this occurs at the store: usually a mother yacking away while her child(ren) is either getting into things at the check out or sitting in the cart staring at Mom, knowing they are being ignored.<br /><br />It's little moments like those I want my kids to look back with appreciation: how Mom liked to practice counting and singing the ABCs or songs instead of chatting on her phone. We only have so many moments with our kids...we should regard them with the utmost importance that our kids deserve.<br /><br />Katherine
Staff
2013-03-18T17:20:00Z
It's Not About Equal, It's About Need
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Not-About-Equal,-Its-About-Need/-394829935454218661.html
2013-03-15T17:24:00Z
2013-03-15T17:24:00Z
My parents did play favorites, or at least expected a lot more out of me as the oldest than they did the youngest, which I think is common. We don't get along at all today because my younger sister expects everything to be done for her and around her schedule, with no consideration for anyone else. But I don't think it's good to make sure everything is even-steven either.<br /><br />My two kids get along fine -- they are teens now and best friends. I took a class at their Montessori school about sibling rivalry and it worked! We DIDN'T try to make sure they both got the same amount of pancakes or always spent the same exact amount of money on them. We raised them according to what their real needs were and what their interests entailed. They both became grounded in who they are without feeling like they were missing out on something.<br /><br />My only regret is that our family is not big enough! Children from large families grow up knowing that life isn't about complete fairness and everything being even. Children who are raised to believe that (and yes, I knew someone who was like that with her two!), will not be equipped to handle working at a job where it may not be completely fair all the time (or not appear that way). As a parent, it is a balancing act of real life versus meeting needs. You just focus as much as possible on loving them as much as you can and meeting their needs. It's worked for me! I've never felt like a referee.<br /><br />Bethany
Staff
2013-03-15T17:24:00Z
Growing Up With Less
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Growing-Up-With-Less/-518243439958502068.html
2013-03-15T17:05:00Z
2013-03-15T17:05:00Z
My childhood was interesting. Born in 1950 to older parents (Dad was 60 and Mom was 44 when I arrived), I had a sister 12 years my senior and a brother 4 years older than I. There was a brother 5 years older who died at birth. We lived in a small college town of 5000 in Southwestern Wisconsin. Great place to grow up. We never locked our doors. Your parents were either shopkeepers, farmers or worked at the college. My Dad was a shopkeeper (tailor and dry cleaner, raced and trained Harness Horses as a hobby and my Mom did everything else. Talented, she was! We rented out rooms to as many as 10 college students to make ends meet.<br /><br />I never thought about a sibling being favored over me. We were different kids, different ages, with different interests. The dynamics of our family changed as each one of us arrived as did the circumstances we were born into. When I was 3, my father's health deteriorated dramatically. It meant he was home a lot and I was the beneficiary of more attention from him. My brother and sister were off to school and busy with babysitting, paper routes and mowing lawns for the neighbors. My siblings would joke about "mom liking you best" or that I was spoiled because I was the baby of the family, but it never occurred to me that was true.<br /><br />We did not have "money" growing up. Compared to today, with so much abundance, having less in a material way was a good thing. It certainly keeps a parent from continually bailing out the kid who is a problem child (even if chronologically an adult) while the "good child" stews about it.<br /><br />In life, you might get along better with some personality types and that includes your own children, siblings and parents.<br /><br />Jane
Staff
2013-03-15T17:05:00Z
In Honor of Mom - Poem
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/In-Honor-of-Mom---Poem/878164122737043602.html
2013-03-14T17:32:00Z
2013-03-14T17:32:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I plan to <a href="/f/Inner-Circle?utm_campaign=joinic&utm_medium=webpage&utm_source=letters&utm_content=03.14.13&utm_term=link">join the Inner Circle</a> and will tell you again your show has changed my life.</p>
<p>I wrote this poem in honor of Mom and I think it honors Motherhood. I went to take care of her out of state for three years and we lost her a year ago. My sisters and I experienced no end of sibling rivalry, competition, and anger both during her illness and death and the family is still not repaired. I'm still reeling a bit when I think of it.</p>
<p>Instead of quibbling over things or wishing DNA was the basis of family, I've emailed a copy of the poem to my sisters and am letting the negative ALL go.</p>
<p>My mother was abandoned when pregnant with my youngest sister and I know from watching that anything can be accomplished with enough faith, hope, and love.</p>
<p>I homeschooled my daughter and stayed home with her in the face of adverse circumstances. She had a phrase she used to say about life circumstances: "in the hope of Mother-Loveness"</p>
<p>My hat is off to all mothers everywhere as Mother's Day approaches. I know I will be remembering mine, and you, Dr. Laura, who has become the surrogate for us all...<br /><br />Carolyn</p>
<p><br /><strong>FAME </strong><br /><br />My Mother never did anything much,<br />But work and raise kids like mine<br />But wait--she was teacher and artist.<br />And mostly she was kind.</p>
<p>My Mother never did anything much<br />If it wasn't mostly for us.<br />She wanted to paint and she did some of that<br />But mostly she lived just thus.</p>
<p>My Mother never did anything much<br />But sew and smile and cook.<br />She understood that a lot of the time<br />We liked our nose in a book.</p>
<p>My Mother was granted a secret wish<br />For someone to give her Love.<br />Aren't the three little girls, with the three little curls<br />Still being watched from above?</p>
<p>If my Mother ever had any doubts about Life<br />She kept them to herself.<br />Like an unwelcome thing<br />that mattered not<br />In the back of a dusty shelf.</p>
<p>I'd like to be famous like Mother,<br />When children remember me.<br />My fame would rest in their memory<br />If half so famous as she!</p>
<p>My Mother made nothing quite so much<br />as the colors of Laughter and Song.<br />She traded her coin for the rustling of wings<br />--Angel wings, all day long.</p>
<p>- Carolyn Ratliff</p>
Staff
2013-03-14T17:32:00Z
Acting Like You're in Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Acting-Like-Youre-in-Love/-323167443099678577.html
2013-03-14T17:29:00Z
2013-03-14T17:29:00Z
Dr. Laura,<br /><br />Just like smiling can put one in better mood, I strongly feel that acting in love can keep you in love! Our kids used to roll their eyes because when I would walk behind my husband sitting in his chair, I would drop a kiss on his head or a caress on his neck. I still do that, by the way, but the only ones watching today are the dogs, as the kids are adults and out of the home. (Our dogs do not roll their eyes, by the way!)<br /><br />This is a second marriage for both of us. Both of us were married to people for whom touch no longer seemed important. If I were too close to my first husband in bed, he would move away and I would apologize. If I patted his bottom too often, I was treating him like a sex object. A bad thing to a man?!! Yikes! I know he loved me very much, but I needed touch, tenderness and intimacy. For my now husband, it was the same thing, as his first wife didn't even like to be hugged.<br /><br />We're older now, I'm 54 and my husband is 66. I get all the bear hugs I need and lots of spooning as we fall asleep. We make a point of touching each other as often as possible. I can be mad at my husband and see the soft skin behind his ear and feel tenderness rush through me. A soft touch and we're both in a better mood.<br /><br />People-- fake it 'til you make it!<br /><br />Jennifer
Staff
2013-03-14T17:29:00Z
Importance of Expressing Respect and Admiration
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Importance-of-Expressing-Respect-and-Admiration/934259258777502414.html
2013-03-14T17:21:00Z
2013-03-14T17:21:00Z
Hi Dr. Laura!<br /><br />Here's some adult humor with a point I thought you'd get a kick out of. Today, I was thinking that I am a consistently happy wife. I'm always on Cloud 9 and it seems like I hardly ever come down. My husband means the world to me, and I had an overwhelming urge to send him a text telling him how I feel. I usually send naughty little messages, but this time I felt I needed to send something a bit more heartfelt, so I texted him that I love him more than anything; that I respect and admire the hell out of him, and that he's wonderful. I did not expect the reply I got back from him... He said, "Oh stop. You're giving me a chubby!" I laughed, he sure has a way with words... but it certainly drives the point home of how much it means to our men when we women clearly state these things!<br /><br />Thanks for all you do!<br /><br />Julie
Staff
2013-03-14T17:21:00Z
Being Respected as a Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-Respected-as-a-Mother/-882487764330173667.html
2013-03-13T17:25:00Z
2013-03-13T17:25:00Z
As a divorced mother of two daughters, I struggled with doing the 'right thing' when it came to raising them. It was especially hard when the 'right thing' was also the 'difficult thing' as was most often the case.<br /><br />As they were growing up, I tried to explain all the adult implications of a sexual relationship. I also told both my daughters, more than once, that if they thought they were mature enough to have sex with a boy, they were also mature enough to get a place of their own without any monetary support from me. I told them if they got pregnant, they would no longer be allowed to live under my roof nor would I raise their child. All of these things (and many others) were said with love and respect, but with a firmness that left no doubt I meant what I said.<br /><br />We were all together recently and my daughters were thanking me once again for all the 'tough love' I gave to them as they were growing up. I confessed I was so thankful I never faced having to follow through on the promises (not threats) I made to them. I told them while I knew what I said (and believed) were the right things, I was not as sure I would have had the internal fortitude to actually follow through and move them out of my home had they violated my rules. The oldest wisely said, "Mom, it really doesn't matter if you would have been able to follow through - what's important is WE thought you would".<br /><br />The oldest is now a married 38-year-old attorney with two sons; the youngest is a married 29-year-old physician's assistant. Both of them were virgins when they married after college. They are both wonderful, accomplished women with strong and happy marriages. I could not be more proud of them. We enjoy a close relationship of love and mutual respect and they still call on occasion to ask for my advice.<br /><br />I am so thankful I made the decision to put being respected as a mother over being friends with my daughters as they were growing up. We now ALL enjoy the benefits of my decision.<br /><br />Sandra<br />
Staff
2013-03-13T17:25:00Z
Narcissism and Parenting
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Narcissism-and-Parenting/447957282247658631.html
2013-03-13T17:00:00Z
2013-03-13T17:00:00Z
Dr. Laura,<br /><br />You are right about the absolute selfishness of so many parents. My son is 7 months old and occasionally we attend a group for parents and infants. In light of your commentary on narcissism and the recent caller who wants to "follow her dreams" and screw over her children, I've been listening carefully to others in the infant group.<br /><br />I've heard comments such as, "Children are resilient. They'll be fine." Really? If they live half the week with Mom and half the week with Dad it doesn't completely and drastically alter their view of trust, family, and security? It's no big deal as opposed to a travesty?<br /><br />"Oh, you quit your job?" "No, I go back next week. My 7 week old baby will be in day care. I guess if I hate being back, I'll quit." This person became uncomfortable and immediately moved away from me after saying this. I was hoping she'd ask questions about why I made the decision to stay at home and how we manage, but she just avoided me as though she knew she was doing something wrong.<br /><br />"Yeah, we just met and all of sudden I'm pregnant." All of a sudden? Is that what it's called these days?<br /><br />It breaks my heart for these babies and children who don't really matter to the people who should be loving and protecting them. Listening to you has helped me to see that our culture is all about what adults WANT and thinking children will fit in somewhere and be just fine. "After all, you've got a life to live. They'll understand." It's a lie.<br /><br />Thank you for helping me see this clearly.<br /><br />Michelle
Staff
2013-03-13T17:00:00Z
Emotionally Wealthy!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Emotionally-Wealthy!/-721090687415108349.html
2013-03-12T17:35:00Z
2013-03-12T17:35:00Z
Dr. Laura <br /> <br />Fifteen years ago, I had a son. The year he was born, I made $189,000.00. I was a great print saleswoman. Once I held him in my arms, I knew I had to find a way to be with him all day, everyday. Coming home and seeing my nanny holding him so close, broke my heart. <br /> <br />It didn't help - or maybe it did - that I listened to you in my car everyday on my way to sales meetings telling every woman who called they should be home with their children. It seemed like every call that year was about this topic....or that is what I heard. <br /> <br />I knew I had to come up with a way to raise my son and be there for every milestone, sniffle and smile. My husband and I opened a sign printing business in our house and worked at night, keeping our day jobs. Finally, at 18 months, I was able to be home full time with my son and enjoy being pregnant with my daughter. <br /> <br />We moved the business into a storefront and the rest is history. We made financial sacrifices and are no longer rich with money, but I am rich with the memories of being with my kids at every sports event, school program, pick-up from school and reads in the library. I was there the whole time. <br /> <br />At this point, my son would rather I leave him alone, but I know he is a great boy/man because I was there when he needed me and provided a safe, secure and consistent family for him and my daughter. <br /> <br />Tonight I was featured on our local news. I wanted you to see it, because if it wasn't for your "constant nagging" I might be financially wealthy, but emotionally poor. <br /> <br />Thanks Dr Laura. I hope you enjoy our TV segment called <a href="http://www.wfaa.com/video?id=189855661&sec=1230526" target="_blank">Home Grown: Couple Teams Up in Business to Keep Family First</a>
Staff
2013-03-12T17:35:00Z
Advising the Next Generation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Advising-the-Next-Generation/343630337318953473.html
2013-03-12T17:27:00Z
2013-03-12T17:27:00Z
Dr Laura, <br /> <br />Your books, <em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em> and <em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage</em> were instrumental in helping provide guidance to my son and daughter-in-law. Having experienced more than one marriage I was not sure I was the right person to advise my daughter-in-law and ultimately my son regarding their marital problems. <br /> <br />My ex-husband is an alcoholic and although I tried hard to provide a happy and stable home for my kids, it was less than perfect because of obvious problems. My son got married unexpectedly and I was unsure of all the "whys" regarding the marriage. Almost immediately after the wedding, the young couple started having problems due to many extra stresses in their lives. My daughter-in-law would call me almost daily. I had always enjoyed listening to you on the radio and liked your direct no-nonsense approach to relationships, so I purchased and sent them both your books and suggested they read them together. Much to my surprise they did and the messages hit home for both of them. <br /> <br />My current husband is an awesome gentleman and I know that our relationship is a great role model for the kids. In fact they have told us as much. <br /> <br />Over the past two years, they have often commented about things they read in the books. They have also encouraged other young couples they know to heed the advice from your books. I know of three young couples personally that your advice has helped put them on the right track. <br /> <br />I continue to send my daughter-in-law information from your website and direct her to your Youtube videos. She pays attention to the messages and they are a very close couple. I have told them I want to support them and hope to see them have a long and happy marriage. My son is a Marine and will deploy for the third time to Afghanistan this spring after their second child is born. He is being permitted to delay his departure until the baby's birth. <br /> <br />They are handling the stresses of life as a team now and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. <br /> <br />In gratitude as a mom and a grandma, <br /> <br />Marjorie
Staff
2013-03-12T17:27:00Z
Being Frugal
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-Frugal/-751003925287172528.html
2013-03-11T18:15:00Z
2013-03-11T18:15:00Z
I'm a stay-at-home mom to 2 boys and a new baby on the way! It's so hard financially, but totally worth it! To help out financially, I started making meal plans, my own laundry detergent, baby wipes, baby food and also cloth diapers! And wouldn't you know it, I fell in love with being a do-it-yourselfer! I even have made some of my own maternity clothes! Since we only have one car, I take my boys on long walks over a big hill to go to the park and play with other children. And I can't tell you how happy my 3 1/2-year-old is that MOMMY is going to school him!<br /><br />It really is worth every hardship, and the best part is they have no clue that we are so broke! I actually think it's adorable when we go to the thrift store and my oldest is allowed to pick out a toy and his first question is, "Mommy, is this too much money?" I grew up this way too and it certainly taught me a few good lessons!<br /><br />I was sent this link and thought you'd be interested in what the author had to say about frugality and living within your means: <a href="http://www.thehappyhousewife.com/frugal-living/minimalist-mom-new-trend-or-old-news/" target="_blank">Minimalist Mom: New Trend or Old News? </a><br /><br />Thank you for all you do!<br /><br />Dusti<br /><a href="http://www.thelipkinlife.com/" target="_blank">TheLipkinLife.com</a><br /><br />P.S. We always listened to you growing up and I would dream of the day when I could say "I am my kids' mom". It never was a question for me about staying home!<br />
Staff
2013-03-11T18:15:00Z
If Your Children Could Only Have Four Books
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/If-Your-Children-Could-Only-Have-Four-Books/-857470865576407250.html
2013-03-11T18:10:00Z
2013-03-11T18:10:00Z
<a href="/pg/jsp/charts/audioMaster.jsp?dispid=306&pid=93599"></a>Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />If I could provide only four books for my children's education the first ones that come to mind are:<br /><br /><em>The Bible</em>,<em> The Complete Works of William Shakespeare</em>, <em>The Stand</em>, and <em>How Things Work</em>.<br /><br /><em>The Bible</em> to teach values, Shakespeare to teach humor, <em>The Stand</em> so they will learn that weak people can do great things and vice versa, and <em>How Things Work</em> for practical knowledge.<br /><br />If I could add a fifth for my daughter it would be <em>The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands</em>.<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />Ardyth<br />
Staff
2013-03-11T18:10:00Z
Revering Ourselves as Women
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Revering-Ourselves-as-Women/61699705622643824.html
2013-03-08T19:07:00Z
2013-03-08T19:07:00Z
<a href="/pg/jsp/charts/audioMaster.jsp?dispid=306&pid=93599">Listening to the call</a>: "Sarah needs to climb back on the pedestal" reminded me of something my mother told me about my father years ago. My father and I had a rocky relationship in my teen years because I rebelled against what I saw as his unreasonably strict standards (e.g. I wasn't allowed to wear makeup or short skirts). She told me then that he put women on a pedestal and especially revered and honored motherhood; and therefore, has very clear ideas about how women should honor and respect themselves and how they should present themselves.<br /><br />In his later years after my mother passed away, on every Mother's Day, he would phone close friends who were mothers to wish them a happy Mother's Day. That may sound unusual, but that was his way of honoring what he saw as the sacred trust of motherhood.<br /><br />You are so right to have pointed out to Sarah that women's individual actions have wider repercussions: we women voluntarily jump off our pedestals which trains a huge number of men to treat us without respect. I was one of them despite my parents' wonderful example. I got pregnant while in a long-term dating relationship, but the good news is I did end up marrying my baby's father after I started listening to your radio show. And ever since, I have been a stay-at-home mom to my son and his little brother who came along a few years later. It's never too late to change, and we have you in our corner to lend us a backbone until we can stiffen our own!<br /><br />Thanks for all you do.<br /><br />Jennifer
Staff
2013-03-08T19:07:00Z
New Season of Life - Ran My Marathon!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/New-Season-of-Life---Ran-My-Marathon!/-169527658634977614.html
2013-03-08T18:26:00Z
2013-03-08T18:26:00Z
Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I <a href="/b/Just-Run!/-205053403280679339.html">wrote you last May</a> and you made it the Email of the Day. Here's the letter:<br /><br />
<blockquote>
<p>I am an avid listener and have been so since 1992. I am 38. I thought I chose wisely and treated kindly, but I see I lacked in both of those departments. After my 13 year marriage broke up, I was devastated. I have my two amazing daughters but who am I if not a "wife"? I am still having trouble with that.</p>
<p>You had a woman on your show not too long ago who was going to run the Boston marathon. I thought...oh yeah...I've always wanted to do that...BUT...</p>
<p>Then you had a woman on later who was having trouble with her new season in life. I thought - I'm in a new season. I hate it. I wish I could have a goal like running a marathon, BUT...BUT...BUT...</p>
<p> NO BUTS!</p>
<p>So, I am writing to tell you I am training for my first EVER marathon scheduled for January 13, 2013. You are my mentor and my moral compass. I wanted to tell you, so when I send you my picture after I complete my marathon you will know why.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura! Thank you for helping me with this new season in a positive way. I am my kid's MOM! I can now be someone they can look up too!!!</p>
<p>Oh...By the way, as, I was running at my local jogging park I was pacing myself with this woman who was a pretty good runner. When we finished and were getting water I told her she was kicking my butt. She was very sweet and smiled. Turned out she was 65! I felt like it was you kicking my butt. So, thanks!</p>
</blockquote>
<br />Well, I did it! Thank you Dr. Laura! I ran my first full marathon. 26.2 miles of a new attitude! Thank you for helping me with my new season. My kids were there to cheer me on too! <br /><br />Thank you for all you do! You continue to keep me company on my runs.<br /><br />Thank you,<br /><br />Cheryl - My girls' Mom
<p class="yiv760468796MsoPlainText"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><img style="vertical-align: baseline; margin: 5px;" src="/images/blog/thompson_cheryl_1.jpg" alt="" /><img style="vertical-align: baseline; margin: 5px;" src="/images/blog/thompson_cheryl_2.jpg" alt="" /><img style="vertical-align: baseline; margin: 5px;" src="/images/blog/ThompsonCheryl_3.jpg" alt="" /><br /></span></p>
Staff
2013-03-08T18:26:00Z
A Dad's Viewpoint About Fatherhood Written to His Son
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Dads-Viewpoint-About-Fatherhood-Written-to-His-Son/249417491474442430.html
2013-03-07T19:32:00Z
2013-03-07T19:32:00Z
Dr. Laura,<br /><br />About 3 weeks ago, I called you to discuss how my teenage son had gotten a young girl pregnant, but had left the country for Thailand and was showing no interest in accepting responsibility. Your advice was to tell him bluntly how I felt about things, and then turn my attention to helping the baby and mother. Because my son is in Thailand and unavailable by phone, I had no choice but to address the matter via email... What follows is the pointed (and loving) letter I sent to him. I thought maybe you'd get a smile out of seeing your advice put to work. Results and the future are still unknown, but I have faith that things will be fine. Thanks to you and your staff for confirming my decisions and positions, and encouraging me to take the action I have. <br /><br />Good luck to all. <br /><br />Jim<br /><br />
<blockquote>Son,<br /> <br />I feel the need to be clear about some things - probably already known by you, and possibly overdue from me - but it seems time for me to share openly with you....<br /><br />Though I realize you are going to make your own choices - I also feel totally comfortable and appropriate that (as your father and someone who loves you), I at least share MY view on responsible fatherhood.<br /><br />A good dad is present: Physically and emotionally. Always. No excuses and no higher priorities. His #1 RESPONSIBILITY is to always be present. Period. <br /><br />A good dad provides: safety, security, food, shelter, healthcare. He places needs of his child ahead of his own - first, second and third. Maybe then he thinks of himself but probably not. His #1 JOB is to provide. <br /><br />A good dad teaches: shoelaces, multiplication tables, manners, football rules, kindness. Everything a child needs to know is up to Dad...whether through his own efforts and examples, the help of schools/teachers/pastors, and/or through exposing the child to experiences. A good dad teaches.<br /><br />Lastly - but also first AND at all times - a good Dad loves: hugs, boundaries, laughter, discipline, kindness, consistency. Kids deserve and need these things from their dad - and to behave in ANY way that restrains or eliminates such things from a child is quite simply - wrong.<br /><br />I believe a guy can be a MAN without having children. But I also believe that a guy with kids MUST be a FATHER to be a MAN.<br /><br />All this being said - I'm YOUR Dad and I love you and always will. I love you enough to send this note to you, even when I suspect it won't change anything, and that you may find it upsetting. So in addition to sharing my big picture thoughts on being a good dad, I will add my views on specifically what's happening these days...Maybe they're right and maybe not - but at least you won't have to wonder what I am thinking. <br /><br />Your child will be born in a few weeks - I believe your place is here, now, and involved with planning how her life will be - starting at day 1. Such decisions and plans are important and should not be made casually, hastily or without deliberation. Waiting to address the considerable list of issues to be addressed seems ill-advised. Please don't believe that I endorse your decision to be absent as the day of your daughter's birth approaches.<br /><br />You need to focus immediately on how you're going to permanently provide for your daughter. You need a job (or jobs) that pays enough to cover your daughter's needs, and to cover your own needs that enable you to be a father.<br /><br />You need to squarely face the reality that there's no way you'll be taking a baby/child to Thailand any time soon - not for many years, if ever. You've no resources to provide the basics for your child in the U.S. - and even less so, on your own, out of the country. No mother would allow it. No judge will allow it. That means if you're really going to be "in her life" - that means you'll be here, in the U.S.. If you're not here - that's up to you but don't fool yourself, or think anyone else will be fooled - about your ability to be a good dad and a standup guy from around the world. You're having a daughter here. Thailand will have to wait.<br /><br />And lastly - you need to accept the reality that your baby's mother will be a part of the equation and in your life forever. She and the baby need to be able to count on you to be reliable, pleasant, collaborative and honest. That relationship needs to be developing now. The sooner you develop a solid working connection with your daughter's mother, the sooner your child will enjoy the benefits of her parents working toward her life being peaceful, safe, and healthy. <br /><br />Drugs and alcohol won't help, and will only harm your ability to be Dad. Like it or not - you're going to need every dollar and ounce of energy for your daughter - doing otherwise will be selfishness that will have a price to all. <br /><br />And - as you know - fatherhood is VERY important to ME. You know it because you've lived it and seen it with me. Having my son become a father creates new joys and responsibilities for me in my role as your dad - so all that I have shared with/about YOU as father applies to me too! <br /><br />I am definitely willing to continue to do MY duty in support of you as you stumble into fatherhood yourself. So what does that mean? What can you expect from me? <br /><br />Specifically that means I will help you do what you can do for yourself as you become a dad - as you find your own paths to be present, provide, teach and love that baby. And - I will not assist when you're doing/being contrary to such basic principles of fatherhood. My concern will remain for/with you - my son - but my priority and sense of responsibility will now include this child as well. You should expect my thumbs up to YOU most when I see you being a father and a man. I will help you figure that out and make it so - but I will have little interest if YOUR top priority is not your daughter. <br /><br />Think about what's on your plate. What's right. How you're going to do it. And ideas for getting started. You're a father - it's time to assume the role. It's a big job - but you're not alone. <br /><br />I'm proud of you and am certain that - if we all team up - your mom, me, our spouses, your brother, and all our friends and families (the mother's folks, sister and crew) - with you and your baby's mother solidly at the helm - we can build a wonderful life for this baby. <br /><br />I have faith in you. I love you and I KNOW that your very best days are ahead of you - and your daughter. Make good decisions now and your future will turn out fine. I promise - and a dad never lies to his son! <br /><br />Love<br /><br />Dad</blockquote>
Staff
2013-03-07T19:32:00Z
Household Manager Job Opening - Could This Be For Real?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Household-Manager-Job-Opening---Could-This-Be-For-Real/725524157865976371.html
2013-03-07T19:19:00Z
2013-03-07T19:19:00Z
I was searching jobs in Denver for a friend and was appalled by this listing I found on Craigslist. I truly hope it was a joke. As the stay-at-home mom of two incredible young ladies, I would <strong><em>never</em></strong> think of hiring someone to teach my girls right from wrong, let alone anything else on this list of "responsibilities." -- JoAnne<br />
<blockquote><strong>Household Manager for family of 6</strong><br />Active family with two working parents and three adolescent children ages 9, 11 and 12 (plus an independent 17 year old), are looking for a household manager to work 3-5 days per week in and out of our home. The hours for the position are somewhat flexible (between the hours of 3pm-7pm M-F until school is out and then between the hours of 8am-7pm 3-5 days per week in the summer), we are more concerned with finding a good match for our family and willing to be flexible with scheduling.<br /><br />The person we are looking for needs to be active, social, and enjoy being around kids and in the community. They will have patience, some basic cooking skills and be well organized with excellent communication skills. They will be a non-smoker and a positive role model with good morals and a healthy lifestyle. They will need to have a dependable vehicle with a clean driving record and valid driver's license. We will require a background check and professional references from any considered applicant.<br /><br />The position of household manager will include:<br />
<ul>
<li>Picking children up from school</li>
<li>Helping them complete homework</li>
<li>Managing food choices (we have one vegetarian who will skip meals if not offered something she likes & one hooked on sweets that will eat junk food all day if not given strict limits)</li>
<li>Planning & preparing dinner on occasion, including shopping for those meals</li>
<li>Organizing & supervising play dates, taking kids shopping for gifts when invited to b-day parties</li>
<li>Transporting kids to and from sports practices, clubs, dentist/doctor appointments and other events</li>
<li>Managing a detailed, digital schedule for all three kids and keeping them organized, prepared and on time</li>
<li>Maintaining structure, limits and healthy boundaries around video game time, cell phone/text use, etc.</li>
<li>Counseling kids when they make a poor choice, praising when they make good ones</li>
<li>Enforcing a sense of responsibility within the children</li>
<li>Small household tasks as necessary (i.e. pick up dry cleaning, walk/feed dogs, water plants, load dishwasher, etc.)</li>
</ul>
</blockquote>
Staff
2013-03-07T19:19:00Z
Rules 'Male' Daddies Have
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Rules-Male-Daddies-Have/385609989156024417.html
2013-03-06T18:16:00Z
2013-03-06T18:16:00Z
I have been a fan of your show for years and recently to my absolute horror my daughter started dating a 23-year-old "male" with a 3 1/2-year-old son. I was told I was judgmental and closed-minded. This was my first experience with this kind of selfish and ugly behavior and seeing the thought process of this "male" is truly ugly. I have given a lot of thought to this dilemma and have put down The Top Ten Rules These "Male" Daddies Have.<br />
<blockquote>1. Never accept responsibility (I didn't know that's where babies come from).<br /><br />2. Avoid commitment (We'll get married later - much much later).<br /><br />3. Dump that pregnant girlfriend! (We simply grew apart.)<br /><br />4. I'm not happy and I deserve to be happy at any cost.<br /><br />5. No matter what always portray yourself as an innocent bystander/victim especially to your next girlfriend.<br /><br />6. Spending time with your new girlfriend takes priority over your child.<br /><br />7. It's good for the kid to see Dad with other women. Maybe he can be a stepchild someday.<br /><br />8. Give cash instead of time or nurturing (Kids don't need nurturing).<br /><br />9. I'm a good father- I see the kid when it's convenient for me.<br /><br />10. I'm setting a good example of a father for my kid.</blockquote>
Unfortunately there are more.<br /><br />Thanks again for your show and keep up the nagging!<br /><br />I am my kids' dad!<br /><br />Scott<br />
Staff
2013-03-06T18:16:00Z
Insight Into One's Self
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Insight-Into-Ones-Self/411395790790437.html
2013-03-06T18:05:00Z
2013-03-06T18:05:00Z
Dr. Laura,<br /><br />You asked in the Daily Dose, "If you were a dog, what breed would best suit you and why do you think so?"<br /><br />I would love to say that I would be a Golden Retriever, loyal, loving and serene. I would also love to be thought of as a working dog that is always anxious to please, work and serve. But, as I take stock of myself, I realize I am a small poodle.<br /><br />Why a poodle? Well, a poodle is cute, loving and adorable just like me! I also have to be the center of attention, whether I try to be or not, I generally am, just because of who I am...just like a poodle. I also need to look good; having my hair and makeup done, clothes clean and nice and it bothers me if I don't. I'm not high maintenance; I just like to look nice and can do it on a budget!<br /><br />I'm also just like a small dog...I can yap and nip your heels if I don't like what you're doing, or I can curl up in your lap, look at you adoringly and be perfectly content...as long as you're petting me. Just like a small dog, I will also protect my family from those who mean harm, and can assert myself when needed to get my way. I can also defer to authority, though I don't like to, and will compromise when needed.<br /><br />Yup, though I would love to be a milder breed, I am definitely a little poodle. A bundle of happiness, love and attitude all wrapped up in a fluffy little harmless ball of joy...with teeth.<br /><br />Thanks,<br /><br />Layna<br />
Staff
2013-03-06T18:05:00Z
Defining Goodness in My Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Defining-Goodness-in-My-Life/-949433017395835915.html
2013-03-05T18:41:00Z
2013-03-05T18:41:00Z
Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I have an 8-year-old cousin who I will call E. E was born to a drug-addicted son of a drug addict and his girlfriend who was a drug-addicted daughter of a drug addict. While he was an infant, his parents both went to prison and he was left in the care of his maternal grandmother whose boyfriend was a convicted (conviction then overturned) sex offender.<br /><br />When he was around 2, he went to live with my grandmother. My grandmother is an amazing woman who was married with three kids under four by the time she was twenty. I have never met a stronger woman. When he went to live with her, he would sit in his high-chair and eat, and not even a crumb would hit the floor. He ate every last bit of food put in front of him. One night when he woke up in the middle of the night, my grandmother went to his crib to pick him up and he was cowering in the corner.<br /><br />I am sure it will not surprise you to hear that E has some serious problems. He is emotionally disturbed and has some minor attachment disorder. When his behavior became too much for his regular public school to handle, he was placed in a school for emotionally disturbed children and has thrived in the very structured environment that they provide.<br /><br />The amazing thing about E, is that he is one of the sweetest children I have ever met. When he is near babies, he protects them, loves them, holds them, and plays with them. He is so sweet and gentle. It's beautiful to watch. He selflessly shares with them and with everyone around him. At his school he earns points for behavior that he can then trade in at a school store. For Christmas, he traded in all of his points for stuffed animals for two of his cousins, 3 and 5-year-old girls. He is starting to hug voluntarily, to cuddle and sing and take care of his things. He is so good with animals and he is so giving. I can only imagine how he would have turned out, in different early circumstances, but he is a wonderful child and is going to be an amazing man some day.<br /><br />I cannot decide which defines goodness more, this child who is so sweet and caring, in-spite of such a terrible start; my grandmother who has loved this child into who he is today; or the power of the love that our family has created around him. He won't be defined by the evil that influenced his first two years. He has a chance at a good life, and whether it's because of his innate character, the love around him, or a miracle granted by God, E. is the one entity which defines goodness in my life.<br /><br />Thank you for all you do,<br /><br />Kristy
Staff
2013-03-05T18:41:00Z
Ceased Being a Feminist
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ceased-Being-a-Feminist/-504725788287901652.html
2013-03-05T18:34:00Z
2013-03-05T18:34:00Z
Dr. Laura <br /><br />I've been an avid listener of yours for 10 yrs. I am a big fan of your book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. I have taken your words to heart and practice your insightful advice on how to take care of my man.<br /><br />I have a story I would like to share with you about a discussion my husband and I were just having. Well, his 15 year high school reunion is coming up and we now live in a different state. We can't afford to buy two plane tickets to attend, so I told him that I would gladly stay at home if he would like to attend. His response to me made my heart melt and has been a defining moment in our marriage. He said, "No way, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and there's no way I'm going back there without you."<br /><br />Ten years ago you changed my life forever. I am a recovered feminist. Today my husband and I are happily celebrating our 7 year anniversary and I could not have done it without you. Thank you for standing up against feminism. I didn't lose anything when I ceased being a feminist. I've actually gained a lot more than I've ever had. I've gained a relationship with my husband and children that will last a lifetime. I still have a lot of woman power if you know what I mean!<br /><br />I am a stay-at-home mom with two beautiful children who I homeschool and I have a husband who slays dragons for us!<br /><br />Thank You<br /><br />Alesia
Staff
2013-03-05T18:34:00Z
Spring Is in the Air
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Spring-Is-in-the-Air/-324263829375109660.html
2013-03-04T19:05:00Z
2013-03-04T19:05:00Z
Whether March came in like a lion or lamb for you, it still means spring is around the corner! Here are some listeners' memories of some springtime smells:<br /><br />Mandy:<br />There are two smells that scream spring to me, and make me smile each year. The first is the wonderful fragrance of lilacs. We had several lilac bushes around our house growing up and I always loved the smell. Unfortunately, they only bloom for a few weeks during spring, and the scent always announces the season to me.<br /><br />The second is the smell of freshly mowed grass. Odd? Well, I ran track in high school and college, and spent 10 years as an adult coaching; you could say that the sport means a lot to me. There was nothing better than being outside on a bright sunny Saturday morning, warming up on a field that had been mowed. The air is fresh and earthy, and it always makes me smile.<br /><br />I love spring so much that I made sure I got married in the spring, in April, with a bouquet with lilacs as roses!<br /><br />Sheryl:<br />I remember lying in bed, hearing the first light patter of raindrops. Then opening the back door to let the puppy out and smelling that indescribable fresh aroma that comes with the first rain.<br /><br />Linda:<br />One of the first scents I associate with spring in Southern California is warm dirt. This past weekend I pruned my roses, picked weeds, and readied my vegetable garden for planting seeds. The weather had warmed up, and I could smell the warm earth. It always motivates me to prune and prepare my garden, in anticipation of the coming growth season.<br /><br />A friend once gave me a plaque that says, "To plant a garden is to believe in the future." My time in the garden with the warming earth is often my time to reflect and look at my own life, and to review what I can weed from my life, what to prune, and what to fertilize and encourage to grow.<br /><br />Kelly Ray:<br />When I hear the birds singing as the sun rises, I know spring is almost here. I also associate the smell of fresh cut grass (with a few field onions mixed in) as a SURE sign spring has arrived! Ahhhh . Can't wait! That's when my Boxer, Mollie, and I will enjoy some extra long walks.....<br />
Staff
2013-03-04T19:05:00Z
Intimacy and Staying in Shape
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Intimacy-and-Staying-in-Shape/-449574701195381472.html
2013-03-04T18:00:00Z
2013-03-04T18:00:00Z
Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I am married with 3 kids (two live at home), 1 grandson, 2 dogs, and 3 jobs if you include homemaker. I have asthma and fibromyalgia and everything that goes with it.<br /><br />To keep in shape mentally and physically, I get up at 4:50am. I make coffee, let the dogs out, sit with the coffee and do a half-hour personal Bible reading/study. Then I head downstairs for a half-hour treadmill run, weights or yoga: fast-paced music on my nano helps motivate me. When I'm done, it's back upstairs to eat a healthy breakfast and then "me" time is over and the day begins.<br /><br /> I do feel healthy and lean, which I think my husband appreciates. Each night, he comes home to a hot meal and his family waiting to sit down with him, which I think he also appreciates. I also tell my husband how handsome he is and that I love his hands, which are beat up mechanic hands, but really strong. Our kids know what they need to do to get ready for the next day and do it: Prayers, kisses and lights out. Well, for the kids anyway… wink, wink.<br /><br />This routine might not work for everyone, but maybe it will serve as an example on how to fit in exercise and intimacy into your life.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Ann<br />
Staff
2013-03-04T18:00:00Z
Are You Smarter Than an Amoeba?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Are-You-Smarter-Than-an-Amoeba/-423792693079904220.html
2013-03-01T17:55:00Z
2013-03-01T17:55:00Z
Hi Dr. Laura-<br /><br />It seems in the last few days there has been a surge of callers that need to get a backbone. I have been listening to you for over five years and while there are usually a couple of callers a day that are wusses, it seems that as of late it's becoming an epidemic. I used to be one of those spineless people until I found your show. You taught me that after the first awkward instance of finding your spine it gets easier and easier each time after that to stand up for what's right. After the umpteenth "wussy call" today I've decided that the world would benefit greatly from a book by you on this subject. You can call it, "Are You Smarter Than an Amoeba?" (Referring to your quote: "When amoebas encounter something toxic, they move away. Please be as smarts as a one-celled animal with no brain.")<br /><br />Thank you so much for all you do and for helping me find my spine.<br /><br />MUCH love and gratitude<br /><br />Kim
Staff
2013-03-01T17:55:00Z
Why Men Don't Court Women Like They Used To
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Men-Dont-Court-Women-Like-They-Used-To/-783286912947138966.html
2013-03-01T17:42:00Z
2013-03-01T17:42:00Z
Men do not court women the way they used to thanks to the feminist movement! Suddenly, women were supposedly insulted if a man tried to open the door for them, pay the dinner check, and help them with their coat! Women somehow felt threatened and confused this behavior as not being "equal" to a man.<br /><br />Poor men these days don't know if they're coming or going! These are some of the wonderful things in life that we should treasure as being women...to be courted, respected, and protected by our men! It does not mean they see us as beneath them or less-important. It means that they see us as being on a pedestal of sorts and want to prove their worthiness to us! Young women these days should learn to appreciate this and use this behavior as a compass in determining what kind of man they really want to spend their time with.<br /><br />Jill
Staff
2013-03-01T17:42:00Z
Teaching Ethics Everywhere
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teaching-Ethics-Everywhere/160459979790403073.html
2013-02-28T18:36:00Z
2013-02-28T18:36:00Z
Several years ago I worked for a large aerospace company and managed a department. We had an incredibly talented young woman with skill and enthusiasm. The problem was that when I took over the group, her salary was the lowest of all the staff. Others were making much more money and, frankly, doing far less work. After much maneuvering we were able to bring her base pay up substantially. She came into my office where I gave her the news and she beamed and said, "Now I can get that new Mustang!" Never one to be indirect I said, "Don't you have student loans to pay off?" She got up from her chair and looked at me. I thought she might do the girl-stomps-out-of-the-room-drama scene. But when she got to the door, she turned around and said, "You're right." I knew for sure she was a great employee and she would do the ethical thing.<br /><br />Jody
Staff
2013-02-28T18:36:00Z
Learning How to Be a Good Wife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-How-to-Be-a-Good-Wife/178545443689104995.html
2013-02-28T18:28:00Z
2013-02-28T18:28:00Z
Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I want to thank you for the influence you have had on my life. Recently, my husband pointed out a comment someone had made about wives who don't treat their husbands with respect. He said that I never try to finish his sentences for him when he is in a conversation with his friends. Also, I don't try to correct every little thing he says in front of other people. I told him that much of what I learned about how to be a good wife and treat him with respect came from listening to you during the first few years of our relationship as well as reading one of your books.<br /><br />Thank you for teaching me how to be a good wife. I have never heard the type of good counseling that you do on this topic from any other place. You provide specific examples of what treating your husband with respect looks like. We will be married 13 years in May.<br /><br />And I just became a follower on Twitter.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Tonya<br />
Staff
2013-02-28T18:28:00Z
Teaching Ethics
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teaching-Ethics/-836528151915680410.html
2013-02-27T17:44:00Z
2013-02-27T17:44:00Z
<p class="yiv520434554msonormal">Listeners sent in many responses to the question, "What do you think is the best way to teach kids ethics?" Here are just a few:</p>
<p class="yiv520434554msonormal"><strong><br /></strong></p>
<p class="yiv520434554msonormal"><strong>Tammi:</strong><br />I had to smile the other day during a fun game of basketball between 14 year old boys. My son's friend commented that a certain basketball shot was "F...ing lucky and no skill was involved. My son stopped the game and simply stated that we don't talk that way in our family and he needed to stop or he would have to leave. <br /><br />Since they were little I told my kids we have NO control over what others do yet if people want to spend time with us we have standards and expect certain behaviors. <br /><br />Every day I explain to my kids that the world is all about choices and in the end we are judged by our choices. On this day I know my teaching, preaching and nagging are helping make the world a better place.</p>
<p class="yiv520434554msonormal"> </p>
<p class="yiv520434554msonormal"><strong>Paul:</strong> <br />It's incredibly easy. Act ethically in your life and your kids will quickly learn that. When they act unethically, the simplest approach is the Dr. Laura approach- make them earn their rights and privileges back- time unlimited</p>
<br />
<p class="yiv520434554msonormal"><strong>Peter:<br /></strong>I teach ethics to my 2 children by living and being a good example. I also explain to them the reasons why my wife and I do the things we do so they understand. We communicate almost daily on the things that are currently going on in our daily lives. We also give them an opportunity to see how they would handle the situation and give them feedback accordingly. I believe morals and principles are how we choose to live our lives and ethics are how we choose to act on them. So far our children seem to be understanding these due to the way they are living their lives. I can only hope that our preparation of our children to adults has a life long positive result.<br /><br /></p>
<p class="yiv520434554msonormal"><strong>Feriza:</strong><br />First of all, I ask my children when they make a choice, why they are going to make that choice. If it has moral implications, they should question themselves if it is right or wrong. And what are the consequences in either case. Parents, teachers and adults have to be so the kids can learn from them. Teaching ethics and morals should begin in the home and later at school. If the parents are not ethical or moral, then I do not believe the children will be either.</p>
Staff
2013-02-27T17:44:00Z
Children and Extra-Curricular Activities
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Children-and-Extra-Curricular-Activities/460966968832537744.html
2013-02-27T17:39:00Z
2013-02-27T17:39:00Z
<p class="yiv520434554msonormal">Dr. Laura,<br /> <br /> I was so happy to hear your <a href="/pg/jsp/charts/audioMaster.jsp?dispid=306&pid=93464" target="_self">call of the day</a> from Melissa where you addressed her concerns and guilt regarding limiting her children's extra-curricular activities. I listened to the first portion of the call twice, just to hear you say - You are doing the right thing! This is something I too struggle with as I usually prefer for my children to have down time after school and play outside, followed by a relaxing dinner. It is hard not to feel as though our children need something more when other children are experiencing a wide variety of continual after-school activities. Sometimes it is nice to hear you are doing the right thing, even when you know darn well you already are.<br /> <br /> This topic will become even more pressing and concerning to parents as summer approaches and the familiar question is asked - what are your children signed up for this summer? <br /> <br /> Thank you!<br /> <br /> May</p>
Staff
2013-02-27T17:39:00Z
We Can't Always Feel Good
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Cant-Always-Feel-Good/493550117858464356.html
2013-02-26T18:20:00Z
2013-02-26T18:20:00Z
Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I called you yesterday about how I was upset that my idea was voted out for a school project and how I took it very personally. You more or less said that if something is better, then that idea should be implemented. I hung up upset because I didn't hear what I wanted to hear.<br /><br />However later that night, I had my Dr. Laura moment and I realized that I was wrong and you were right. My generation has grown up in a society where we always have to feel good. For crying out loud, our mere presence will get us some type of award! However, now that I am about to graduate from the university and close to entering the real world, I see more and more that we can't always feel good because life will constantly present obstacles. Unfortunately, before I called you I thought these obstacles were just "people being mean to me". Thank you for turning on that light bulb.<br /><br />Lots of love,<br /><br />Meghan<br />
Staff
2013-02-26T18:20:00Z
'In the Day'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/In-the-Day/-712159668026362324.html
2013-02-26T18:12:00Z
2013-02-26T18:12:00Z
Hi Dr Laura. You often refer to the past as "In the Day". Well here is a little reminiscence of years gone by. It is about the Willow Grove Park, an amusement park outside of Philadelphia. The third paragraph is most interesting:<br /><br />"John Philip Sousa, the 'March King', of U.S. Marine Band fame, appeared in 1901 and thereafter yearly until 1926, with the exception of one year, 1911, when on world tour. As a result of these musical triumphs, parks all over the country engaged bands and orchestras, however, it was Willow Grove Park that became known as "The Music Capitol of America.""<br /><br />"The train, later becoming part of the Reading Railroad, carried 583,348 passengers to Willow Grove in 1903, and on the last Sunday of that season, carried more than 45,000 visitors to the Park. It is estimated that in the summer season of 1909, the total attendance at the Park was 3,000,000. In 1926, 100,000 people attended John Philip Sousa's final concert".<br /><br />"The Park's police or guard had a staff of nearly twenty men whose duty it was to ensure tranquility and adherence to the rules of dress and demeanor. Old photos reveal that the ladies were clothed in floor-length dresses, while the men wore suits, ties and usually a straw hat. Bad language was not tolerated."<br /><br />Today, the females (we don't use the term ladies anymore) will be in casual clothes exposing their bare bellies and obnoxious tattoos. Men will be wearing T-shirts with profanity emboldened, usually the F-bomb, and baseball hats that are worn backwards. And even the females use bad language since it was declared by the feminists that there is no difference between males and females.<br /><br />Yes, in "In the Day", we had a more respectful civilization. Rules of dress and demeanor? That is so not with it and backwards.<br /><br /> <br />Stanley
Staff
2013-02-26T18:12:00Z
How Can You Be a Mom When You're Not There?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Can-You-Be-a-Mom-When-Youre-Not-There/-791231868516547040.html
2013-02-25T18:22:00Z
2013-02-25T18:22:00Z
I'm about to lose a long-term friendship over a principle I'm faithful to. See my letter below to my dear friend:<br /><br /><br />Dear A____ ,<br /><br />As we previously discussed, I am a proud believer of what you will read below. If this offends you or your beliefs, and you decide to put an end to our friendship, then...<br /><br />"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."<br /><br />Sincerely yours,<br /><br />Alice<br /><br /><br />Disclaimer: Inspiration and citation found below are proudly stolen from Dr. Laura Schlessinger.<br /><br />AT-HOME MOTHER -- ABSENTEE<br /><br />AT-WORK WAITRESS -- EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH<br /><br />Where you're the least important, you're the most anxious: your job.<br /><br />You can be replaced in a blink of an eye in your job, but you can never be replaced in the heart of your kid or your husband. Nobody can replace you. Nobody.<br /><br />If you were to ask your child, "With whom would you rather be every day to play, cuddle, and laugh....your mom or your nanny?" What answer would you receive? Do you even have the courage to ask?<br /><br />Raising your child is TEMPORARY and UNIQUE. Why would you give up on that???<br /><br />Is being able to buy [expensive or not] things more important than taking care of your child who needs you??<br /><br />Could you not live within your means by creating a budget, so that you can be there for your child and husband?? Do you really need that expensive dress, iPhone, hair salon, etc...?<br /><br />If you would ask your husband, "In the evening, when you come home from work, would like me to open the door for you in a skimpy lingerie and offer you a warm dinner and a back-rub, or would you rather hear me saying, 'Honey, not tonight, I had a hard day at work, microwave some dinner, will ya'...?"<br /><br />Is your need of appreciation sought in a wrong place rather than your child's and husband's eyes and heart?<br /><br />Is your career more fulfilling for you, so much so, that you thrust your child to some strange arms who no matter how much or less they're getting paid, cannot LOVE as you do??<br /><br />Do you ever STOP to THINK how much your child needs you? And that he/she has NO POWER to convince to stay home and take care of him/her? Do you ever feel the sorrow in his/her eyes when you drop them into a hired help's arms??? Do you bear to LOOK into their eyes every morning??<br /><br />Why did you want to have children if you cannot bother to be a mother??<br /><br />How can you do your job at work if you do not show up?? How can you be a mother if you are absent???<br /><br />WHY do you think you should be called a MOTHER?<br /><br />(I am a Dr. Laura Schlessinger's Apostle and I am proud to say it. I am also my kid's mom.)
Staff
2013-02-25T18:22:00Z
My Response to Shacking Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Response-to-Shacking-Up/296295056400004744.html
2013-02-25T18:16:00Z
2013-02-25T18:16:00Z
My then boyfriend and I had been dating for a little while when he decided he wanted to move back to his home state. I asked where that would leave us, and he responded I could go with him. When I asked, "Where would I live?," he casually answered, "Well you could live with me." I looked at him and calmly said, "Live with you, without being married? No, that's not going to happen." The conversation pretty much ended at that time.<br /><br />The next week he appeared at my house with a ring and asked me to marry him. I said, "Yes." We did end up moving back to his home state 10 years after we were married and have now been married for 28 years.<br /><br />I don't understand women who don't have simple respect for themselves. If he is a real man, then he will respond the same way my amazing MAN did.<br /><br />You're the best.<br /><br />Mindy
Staff
2013-02-25T18:16:00Z
Have a Listening Party with Your Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Have-a-Listening-Party-with-Your-Kids/844398647438142407.html
2013-02-22T18:53:00Z
2013-02-22T18:53:00Z
We allow our children the freedom to listen to most music. My husband and I raise our children to have morals, respect for themselves and others, and to live a Christian lifestyle. My nineteen-year-old daughter mainly listens to modern/rap Christian music, my fourteen-year-old son listens to classical and my six-year-old daughter listens to children songs and her favorite Disney stars songs. As my children are not perfect, I have found some very inappropriate music on my oldest child's iPod. By discussing the contents with her and not at her, she now makes good choices on her own.<br /><br />My husband and I both love music and it's an important part of our lives. He grew up listening to metal and I love rap. We didn't honestly even understand the meanings of a lot of the lyrics we listened to when we were kids. As we have gotten older and now have children of our own, we really wish our parents would have been more involved in checking out our music to have better guided us in our choices. So, parents, please be involved in what music your children listen to. It can shape some of their thinking and morals.<br /><br />Music is a great tool to bring families and people together. Don't be afraid to tryout the new 'hip' music that your children like and share your music with your children. I believe parents will be pleasantly surprised how open kids are to listening to different types of music. Keep it a positive experience for all and have a dance party with your children.<br /><br /> <br />Tara
Staff
2013-02-22T18:53:00Z
The Boy with the Black Eye
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Boy-with-the-Black-Eye/-21197508023748418.html
2013-02-22T18:41:00Z
2013-02-22T18:41:00Z
I just heard your call with the mom who was irate that Child Protective Services were called when her son showed up at school with a black eye (Feb. 20th podcast).<br /><br />You were right on the money. I am a school nurse in an elementary school in Alaska and know for a fact that all certificated school employees (teachers, nurses, counselors, etc.) are mandated by law to report all instances of suspected child abuse and neglect. Failure to do so might result in fines and suspensions and even prison time. We are specifically NOT to confer with parents or do any kind of "investigating." The son's response to the teacher's inquiry regarding what had happened as "none of your business," would have made any alarms not just ring, but BOOM!! I have also had several parents indeed bring a child to my office to inform me of why said child might be sporting recent bumps or bruises. If these stories were suspicious or inconsistent with the type of injury displayed, I'd still make the required report. Most of the time, however, the parental concerns and explanations would make a report unnecessary.<br /><br />Keep up the good work!! Thank you for your unfailing dedication to the support and protection of all children!!<br /><br /> <br />Nurse Lil
Staff
2013-02-22T18:41:00Z
How I Made Sure I Was Marrying the Right Person
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Made-Sure-I-Was-Marrying-the-Right-Person/694877314256955467.html
2013-02-21T18:43:00Z
2013-02-21T18:43:00Z
Be friends first. Make sure you take time to talk over and discover what each other's values really are by observing how your intended lives their life as opposed to what they say. Interestingly enough, my husband first came across my radar when he was being a white knight in shining armor to another woman.<br /><br />Make sure you find a man who has a healthy relationship with his mother. (This can mean different things depending on the situation.)<br /><br />Take your time. This is an area where "fools rush in" really fits. Life will eventually provide us with difficult circumstances and troubled times. See how they hold up when bad things happen. Some say our basic nature comes through at those times. Granted, I took maybe too much time but under the circumstances, (we lived in different towns for a good deal of our courtship), it made sense. <br /><br />In the end it all paid off. We were a couple for 9 1/2 wonderful years and finally tied the knot. We have been very happily married for almost 4 years. My husband is kind, considerate, hard working, smart, funny, generous, thoughtful, and has a good moral code. Every day I endeavor to treat him with the love, respect, kindness and consideration that he deserves.<br /><br />Oh, and take a LONG road trip together. (Yes, really!) It's a great way to assess compatibility when you are in a car with someone for hours at a time. If you find you are constantly getting on each others' nerves for one reason or another and can't stand being with each other in a car, it may be like that when you are married. Re-think it!<br /><br />Fiona<br /><br />
Staff
2013-02-21T18:43:00Z
How I Knew My Husband Was a Keeper
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Knew-My-Husband-Was-a-Keeper/134361273095435759.html
2013-02-21T18:36:00Z
2013-02-21T18:36:00Z
I met my husband on a blind date arranged by one of his close friends who was also a work acquaintance of mine. He was very polite and treated me with the utmost dignity throughout the night. In fact, before my departure home, he went outside, started my car to warm it and proceeded to completely brush the snow off of it as it was February in Ohio. He also followed me all the way back to my apartment. He then made a quick departure with a promise to call for a date the following weekend. He did not pressure me and I feel that he insured my safety without the expectation of being invited inside on the first date.<br /><br />It will be our 15th anniversary this May and my husband is still my genteel protector and provider. I am able to be a SAHM to my three children as he is a successful business executive. I thank God everyday that such a man still existed in this day and age.<br /><br />Jennifer
Staff
2013-02-21T18:36:00Z
A 16 Year Old's Take on Facebook
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-16-Year-Olds-Take-on-Facebook/-198824252032391078.html
2013-02-20T18:29:00Z
2013-02-20T18:29:00Z
The other day, I visited a suburban small family farm run by a Christian man and his wife who are homeschooling their 4 children and raising them in a counter-cultural way--valuing hard work, committed to trying to make the world a healthier place, and knowing where their food comes from and what is in it.<br /><br />As I spoke to this man (who has a Facebook page for the farm only, to promote the business and people's knowledge of healthy food), the topic of Facebook came up. When I told him I quit Facebook about a year ago and am amazed at what I've accomplished with the freed up time, he looked at the ground thoughtfully and laughed. He said, "My 16-year-old son had a Facebook account, but he shut it down not too long ago. I'm trying to remember what his exact words were for why he shut it down. ...Oh, yes...he said, 'Dad, I have a bunch of friends who I know in person and I really like them. But on Facebook, they're different people and sometimes on there I think they're just trying to convince me not to like them.'"<br /><br />Smart boy. Stepping away from a popular fad in order to preserve his friends' characters--at least in his own mind--so he can continue to enjoy what IS likeable about them.<br /><br /><br />Nannette
Staff
2013-02-20T18:29:00Z
What Kind of Dog I'd Be
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Kind-of-Dog-Id-Be/-923035272679137294.html
2013-02-20T18:20:00Z
2013-02-20T18:20:00Z
I am not trying to butter you up, Dr. Laura, honestly, but if were to be a dog, I would choose to be a Rhodesian Ridgeback. These dogs are smart, good protectors, excellent in a family environment, and just plain adorable. A Ridgeback, like me, also has stamina, a stout heart, and a short, no fuss hairdo that almost always looks good. They have a silly sense of humor and incredibly melting deep eyes, and a lean muscular build, yet they do not require a lot of exercise to stay in shape.<br /><br />My parents raised Ridgebacks when I was growing up and I could tell you so many stories showcasing their loyalty, their sixth sense about a person's character, as well as their incredible patience and gentleness with children, even tiny babies. Yup - it's a Ridgeback for me, paws down.<br /><br /> <br />Loesja
Staff
2013-02-20T18:20:00Z
'Is Your Son in Day Care?'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Is-Your-Son-in-Day-Care/-803223519654144533.html
2013-02-19T18:38:00Z
2013-02-19T18:38:00Z
Dear Dr Laura,<br /><br />I am a new mom. I have a fantastic 7-month-old baby and because my husband is amazing and we live on a strict budget, I get to be a stay at home mom.<br /><br />Recently, I was out with my son, sisters, and mom celebrating a sister's birthday. An older couple nearby were making a big deal about how well-behaved, quiet and smiley my baby was. My son was intently playing with a fabric book I made him when the woman remarked how well he kept himself busy and asked, "Is he in day care?" I was so caught off guard that anyone would ask if a 7 month old was being put in day care that I just replied, "No, I stay at home with him and spend time playing with him all day." Personally, I was horrified and being a very emotional new mom couldn't get it out of my mind that people actually hand over their infants for others to raise and ignore, like the woman implied in a nice way. I just wanted to hug my baby all the more and left the restaurant early to nurse him.<br /><br />Dr. Laura, I am so glad that you speak out against this horrifying trend. I guess it's viewed as typical or normal to institutionalize infants now. I can't imagine why people have babies at all if they don't want to be the ones to raise them. My mom was a single mom and had to work, but I am thankful that she worked a job where she could have me with her. I am so happy all my sisters have stayed home with all their children, never going back to a "job" for money. We need to fight for a mother's right to raise her babies.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Candice
Staff
2013-02-19T18:38:00Z
My Grandmother's Last Moments
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Grandmothers-Last-Moments/986542917306505528.html
2013-02-19T18:31:00Z
2013-02-19T18:31:00Z
When I was growing up, my parents went to work, watched TV, and slept. If we interfered with any of that they'd yell. So my grandmother raised me. <br /><br />On her last day alive, I had some time alone with her. I told her I couldn't wait to tell my children about their great-grandmother. Hospice told us this was likely her last day. My mother kept telling her to "hold on" and "stay with us". I could tell she was trying very hard to do that and it wasn't right. I told her, "You don't have to stay with us. We'll be okay. It's okay to go." Right after that she was gone.<br /><br />In my grief, the first thought in my head was something I said to her often as a child. I thought, "I want to go with you." Immediately my grandmother said to me loud and clear, "Oh no, you don't! Look at all the things I got to do in my life. (She meant being a mother and grandmother). You go do those same things."<br /><br /> <br />Michelle<br />
Staff
2013-02-19T18:31:00Z
Taking Care of Each Other
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-Care-of-Each-Other/-233817576622238156.html
2013-02-15T18:12:00Z
2013-02-15T18:12:00Z
My 86-year-old dad passed away 5 years ago. My mom lived almost 100 miles from me and she said she didn't want me to have to come visit her every weekend so she would just move in with me. I loved the idea because I thought I would be able to take care of her.<br /><br />Well, it's turned out to be the other way around. My 88-year-old momma has me so spoiled. She has supper ready every night when I get home from work, a glass of ice in the freezer, and my Diet Pepsi sitting on the kitchen table. She makes homemade noodles and freezes them because that is one request my kids and grandkids always make when we have any type of family get together. She cans tomatoes out of our garden (last year it was over 90 pints).<br /><br />Momma has told me more than once that if she ever gets to the point that she cannot take care of herself, for me to put her in a nursing home because she does not want me to quit my job. She will take her walker in our kitchen and do laps around the kitchen for exercise because she says she sure doesn't want to be an invalid! My momma is one-of-a-kind and she is loved by so many. The only REAL problem she has is she is almost deaf - even with the help of a hearing aid. We have a dry erase board by our chair and if she can't understand the words we are saying, we write down what we are trying to tell her. Even my little grandkids do this now. They want to make sure MiMi knows what they are talking about.<br /><br />I could go on and on about my sweet momma but you wouldn't have enough time to read about her. We just love her sooooo much.<br /><br /><br />Pam<br /><br />P.S. My daddy was the same way. They were married for 63 years when Daddy passed away. They were a one-of-a-kind couple too. That's a whole other story.
Staff
2013-02-15T18:12:00Z
Put Your Feelings Aside
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Put-Your-Feelings-Aside/-292882273248891898.html
2013-02-15T18:01:00Z
2013-02-15T18:01:00Z
I would like to comment regarding siblings caring for aging parents. I went through this last year when my dad was diagnosed with a glioblastoma brain tumor. He took the treatment but declined in health and passed away within three months of diagnosis last July.<br /><br />As for working through everything, when the diagnosis came down my only sibling - a sister - read me the riot act on the phone laying the guilt trip on me. This major argument upset me beyond belief. I live in one state and she lives near our parents in another state.<br /><br />Since I am not flush with funds, I had to meter out my trips to their location, but went during critical times. When our dad was in his last days, she opted not to participate in his daily care so I was the one who took on giving him his meds, diapering him, emptying the catheter, etc. in hospice care and did it as well as I could for a lay person.<br /><br />I was surprised to find that my sister and I got through most of the care giving without incident, but I also believe that was at least partially due to the fact that I decided to keep my thoughts to myself regarding her behavior.<br /><br />I was able to say good bye to my dad on one of my trips, but was not there when he passed away. My husband and I, of course, returned for the funeral.<br /><br />I will say this. Anyone in this situation will have to choose to put their feelings aside in favor of caring for the elderly parent as that is what is really important. I believe I handled things in the correct way and have no regrets for how things turned out.<br /><br /><br />Cindy
Staff
2013-02-15T18:01:00Z
Why I Fell in Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-I-Fell-in-Love/417401929649780691.html
2013-02-14T18:29:00Z
2013-02-14T18:29:00Z
Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I was used to boys telling me what I wanted to hear and always doing the socially expedient thing. Then along came Nick. It was obvious that he was interested in me, but he called me out on all of my feminist and liberal nonsense. He told me what he really thought about everything. I'd fume and stomp off, and then I'd find myself watching him from a distance. During these observations, I noticed how everyone would go to Nick to fix things since he's a genius with his hands. I saw him time and again do selfless acts of service. But the clincher was when we were walking down a market street with a group of friends. A homeless drunk staggered into our pathway. He was filthy and reeked. He stumbled and fell. Everyone in our group jumped aside, afraid of coming into contact with such a dirty man. But Nick's instinct was the opposite. He rushed forward and caught the poor man before he hit the pavement, preventing him from certain head trauma.<br /><br />It may be cliché to say that my heart melted, but that is exactly the sensation I experienced. I found myself seeking out his company, and missing him when he wasn't around… We were married 4 years later.<br /><br />Nick still tells it like it is. And I really appreciate that because he is never unkind. He is still everybody's go-to guy. And he is more selfless than ever. I pat myself on the back all the time for somehow mustering the ability to "choose wisely!"<br /> <br />Michelle
Staff
2013-02-14T18:29:00Z
Your Attitude Makes You Beautiful
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Your-Attitude-Makes-You-Beautiful/-698052307671524541.html
2013-02-14T18:20:00Z
2013-02-14T18:20:00Z
Trying to condense what the most important ingredient of human beauty is into one thing is difficult. But what I've concluded is that it's attitude. It is the attitude of self-worth, supported by the belief that you were created intentionally, not by some random accident, for a high calling. This then should result in one having the consistent purpose to tend to and care for their spiritual, mental, and physical health, with an attitude of stewardship for the good gifts one has been given.<br /><br />When I observe people who are obese, or smokers, or who over indulge in alcohol, or recreational drugs, or any number of other health-damaging behaviors, I wonder why. I guess a lot of people were not trained to believe that they were meant to have a calling in life. So they just work for what ever short-term pleasures they can obtain. It makes me sad. <br /><br />Martin
Staff
2013-02-14T18:20:00Z
Heartfelt Feelings for Their Valentines
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Heartfelt-Feelings-for-Their-Valentines/-767242005782335600.html
2013-02-13T19:07:00Z
2013-02-13T19:07:00Z
<p>So many of you sent in emails on why you fell in love with your spouse and how they make your life better. Here are only a few of those loving messages: </p>
<p><br /><strong>Janet:</strong> <br />I started thinking back fifty-five years as to the reasons I fell in love with my sweetie. One of the things I remember is how he smelled. Between his freshly ironed shirt and only a hint of after shave (Old Spice), he just smelled so clean and fresh. (Could it have been his pheromones?) Even across the room full of people, I was drawn to him - his face, his posture - and that is still true today. Even with all the years and the ups and downs of married life, if I did not know him, I would still be drawn to him in a room full of people. He is always kind, to me and others. He is not perfect for sure and neither am I, but I wouldn't trade him for anything. You frequently talk about choosing wisely and treating kindly and that is so true. Now that we are older my health frequently requires his help and he is always there for me. So keep stressing kindness it will take you through all the tough times of marriage. He is definitely my Man!</p>
<p><br /><strong>Kim:</strong><br />I fell in love with my sweetie because of his selfless heart. He is by far a real man, but not perfect by any means and no one is. But when all is said and done, it is his heart that really matters to me.</p>
<p> <br /><strong>Connie:</strong><br />What attracted me to my honey was is beautiful artistic hands, his full lips and perfect/clean/well taken care of teeth, his shyness, his intelligence, and the sexiest eyes I have ever seen. We will be married for 41 years as of March 29th. Everything that made me notice him in 1970 still makes me smile and reach for him now. I knew the first time I saw him, he was my soul mate. I followed him from Missouri to New Mexico against my father's wishes when I was 20 years old and have "no" regrets</p>
<p><br /><strong>Donna:</strong><br />I've been married for 18 years and have owned my own business for over 20. I'm in the emergency management field and I routinely go to the big disasters (yes Oklahoma and World Trade Centre) to help put businesses and victims back together. My conference teaching schedule is hectic and through all of this my husband has been my rock of support.</p>
<p>I can think of all the clichés one can use to describe what a great spouse does, but simply put: My husband gets it. He knows me, he knows my work, and gets my type "A" personality. Best of all, when I need a shot of marriage reality, he ramps up his kind and caring persona to give me a double dose of type "A" to settle me down. Who could ask for a greater gift?</p>
<p><br /><strong>Coleen:</strong> <br />My first high school sweetheart died when I was sixteen. He told me, it's not enough to marry someone you can live with but marry someone you can't live without! So when things get a little rough I reflect on the reasons why I chose my husband and am so thankful for the great man he is. <br /> <br />Some of the greatest qualities of my sweetheart are his sense of humor, his intelligence in a manly way, his love for children (yes, it was obvious when we were dating), and his respect/shyness of not showing physical affection in public (yes, this was a big one). My most memorable reason was the first time he said "I love you." It must have been a long time into dating because when he said it, I knew he meant it!</p>
<p>The list is longer but I hope my children will be able to find a spouse as perfect as their Dad.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Jeannette:</strong><br />I fell in love with my sweetie because he was willing to help me sort through the issues in my life resulting from problems in childhood. He was willing to talk and process thoughts and feelings, night after night after night. And of course, his issues surfaced as well and he was able and willing to take a look at those too. Most of all, he was willing to change and encouraged me to do the same. We have been together for 34 years now! We don't have a lot of money, we were smart enough to pay our house off, we are enjoying life together, and we laugh and have fun every day.</p>
Staff
2013-02-13T19:07:00Z
My Husband's Love Story Dream
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husbands-Love-Story-Dream/647871522964965801.html
2013-02-12T18:42:00Z
2013-02-12T18:42:00Z
Recently, my husband and I had an argument where we both caused each other pain. Around this same time, I sent out 40 invitations to women whom I had cared about at our former church. These women were invited to my home for Valentine's Day 2013, for a LOVE FEST. Each woman was invited to come ready to share something about love for two to three minutes. It could be a poem, a song, a dream, a photo or a memory.<br /><br />My husband and I had some degree of difficulty in reconnecting after our cruel actions. One night in the car, I said to him..."I've just invited all these wonderful women to our home to share a love story. And I don't have any story of love to share with them. By any chance, do you have a 'love story' that I can share?" "As a matter of fact", he responded, "I do". "Last night, I dreamt of you. You were dying. Your heart was dying. You were on a list to get a new heart, but if one wasn't found soon, very soon...you would die. I decided to do something right with my life. I decided to give you my heart. I went to our three daughters and told them of my decision. They went berserk. I told them that without a new heart, you were going to die. Our oldest daughter yelled at me, asking how I could even think of doing that. That it was crazy. I said to our first born...Your mother has more love for you three girls and for our grandchildren and for everyone in the whole world than I will ever have for anyone in my whole life. She deserves to live. She deserves to go on loving."<br /><br />My husband concluded his dream to me in the car. "In my dream...I give you my heart. And I died."<br /><br />With tears in my eyes, I responded, "I can't share that with all those women. I will cry". To which he said, "No, you have to. It's a love story and it has to be told."<br /><br />Linda
Staff
2013-02-12T18:42:00Z
How I Show My Husband Love Daily
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Show-My-Husband-Love-Daily/-178290578814983071.html
2013-02-12T13:11:00Z
2013-02-12T13:11:00Z
My husband gets home from work around 5:30 p.m., I watch for his car to pull up. Before he gets out of the car, I run up to the door with a smile. As he enters our front door, I give him a kiss, tell him I love him and that I am happy he comes home to the kids and me. Why do I make it a point to tell him I am happy he comes home to us? Because he could choose not to. I am grateful and he knows it, because I tell him and show him. I guess I am a jealous woman; I don't want to share my man with another woman. He is mine and I am his.<br /><br />Thank you Mama Laura. I have been a faithful listener and you have been my life teacher.<br /><br />Susan
Staff
2013-02-12T13:11:00Z
The Four 'B' Policy in Dressing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Four-B-Policy-in-Dressing/404320865438753365.html
2013-02-11T17:55:00Z
2013-02-11T17:55:00Z
Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />Amen to your blog, <a href="/b/When-Your-Teen-Dresses-Like-a-Slut/432367077325439758.html" target="_blank">"When Your Teen Dresses Like a Slut"</a>!<br /><br />I have two 'tween' daughters, ages 10 and 12. My husband and I decided on a clothing policy a few years ago when they started choosing their own clothes. We have the "four B policy"--meaning that their clothing/outfits may not show boobs, bra straps, belly, or butt. The middle school that my daughter attends also has a skirt length policy which states the acceptable length for a skirt hem is at the edge of the fingertips when your arms are held at your sides (which is borderline acceptable for us, but we decide on a case by case basis!)<br /><br />Of course, our policy was initially met with protest, but now they point out other young ladies in public places and remark, "Uh-oh, she's breaking the '4B' rule!" I love it.<br /><br />Also, in your blog, I love what you said to the bombshell girl about the boys talking to her because they think she's intelligent! I ask my girls, when they see gals in trampy outfits getting attention from boys, "Why do you think those boys are talking to that girl? Do you think it's about her nice personality?" And they laugh! That is music to my ears!<br /><br />Thank you for that <a href="/b/When-Your-Teen-Dresses-Like-a-Slut/432367077325439758.html" target="_blank">blog</a> and keep up the great work!<br /><br />Warmly,<br /><br /><br />Lianne
Staff
2013-02-11T17:55:00Z
A Night of Valentine's Day Questions
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Night-of-Valentines-Day-Questions/364734259857217686.html
2013-02-11T13:07:00Z
2013-02-11T13:07:00Z
With my husband, every day is Valentine's Day. So each year we have a sit-down dinner for 4 married couples who are our friends. We ask them wear "something red." Then during dinner several questions are asked to each couple. We start with the man wanting to know how he met his spouse; then ask that same question to his wife on how she met her husband. This is often quite funny. In the next round, the wives go first, then the husbands with the question, "When did you know you were in love?" The third round is, "How did you get married?", and finally, "Tell us one thing you really love about your spouse."<br /><br />I decorate the table in red and white and make a heart cookie with each person's name on it as their place card. We have done this for the past 9 years and it is always a positive experience for all. We do not ask embarrassing questions and we have had people tell us the night was "life changing."<br /><br />My husband could be your poster boy, Dr. Laura. Every day he not only tells me he loves me, but shows me. This is a second marriage for both of us. We were each married for 30 years, raised our families and then divorced. A mutual friend introduced us 14 years ago so we are thankful every day to have met our soul mate.<br /><br />Sandra
Staff
2013-02-11T13:07:00Z
When Health Declines
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-Health-Declines/-814716376243369778.html
2013-02-08T17:54:00Z
2013-02-08T17:54:00Z
I never expected to be caregiver for my parents. My older brother, who never left home, and my sister were the ones I always thought would be there for them when they got too infirm to be independent. God said, "No, it's going to be you, too," and took away my health and my ability to make a living. I had to go home for my parents to take care of ME!<br /><br />As my health improved and I started working again, my parents' health began to decline. My sister has a son who is disabled and needs lots of care, but she and my mother talk on the phone every day. My brother and I "tag-team" the care, since I'm available during the week for running errands and helping take care of the house, and my brother is home on weekends while I'm working. Both of our parents are able to take care of their basic needs, still, on their own, but most of the house and yard care has been left for me, plus all the shopping, banking, etc. since neither one of them can drive a car, anymore. My sister already has a list of qualified professional caregivers, if my parents should need them, too.<br /><br />While I sometimes feel frustrated at not having as much freedom as I used to, I am content to be where God has placed me, and love my parents too much to be anywhere else. The biggest struggle is that neither of my parents are aging gracefully. They no longer have much control over their lives, either, and are not shy about expressing that in the manner of five year olds!! That's OK. I know I was much worse when I was five years old. I'm sure that the way they feel physically (Dad has emphysema and Mother suffers from wild swings in blood pressure) has a lot to do with their emotions, since I've been through a lot of physical pain and disability myself. I used to be much too self-centered to have the kind of empathy I feel for them now. I have no children, myself, so I won't have this kind of care when I'm old. This is my shot at giving back to parents who gave me a wonderful life.<br /><br /><br />Gail
Staff
2013-02-08T17:54:00Z
Help for Families Caring for Senior Parents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Help-for-Families-Caring-for-Senior-Parents/64913120285678410.html
2013-02-08T17:53:00Z
2013-02-08T17:53:00Z
Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I have seen both sides - what works, and what doesn't. One side of my family pushed the care off onto one person. This caused a huge family fallout and led to the declining health of my grandmother. On the other side of my family, they did it well. One sibling lived in the same city as my grandparents and was the primary caregiver. Another sibling bankrolled their care because he could, and the third sibling worked as a "project manager" of their care - arranging care, documents, legal needs, home improvements. This reduced everyone's stress and resulted in great care for my grandparents.<br /><br />I urge families to look at <a href="http://www.solvingfamilyconflict.com" target="_blank">www.solvingfamilyconflict.com</a> if they are having a difficult time working together on their parents' care. And let's all remember that this process isn't about the siblings, it's about their aging loved one. Those hurt feelings may never go away, but for the good of your parents, you must act despite those feelings.<br /><br /><br />Cat<br />
Staff
2013-02-08T17:53:00Z
Caregiving for Two Parents at the Same Time
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Caregiving-for-Two-Parents-at-the-Same-Time/-856779599277173299.html
2013-02-07T18:04:00Z
2013-02-07T18:04:00Z
Sadly, last year we had the caregiving dilemma for both my father and my father-in-law at the same time. I'm not saying it was easy, but here's how we handled the situation. First, we realized that we would be soon facing an end of an era and vowed that their last days on Earth would be to demonstrate to them the values and principles they both taught us throughout our lives: to cherish family, help them even when it's inconvenient, and to respect their wishes.<br /><br />My father was more difficult than my father-in-law. As one of 14 children, he always grew up with women to cater to his needs. In the beginning, my sister and I split days. Growing tired of my sister's cooking, he fired her. Luckily, he had long term care insurance. We hired a caregiver and I would give her a break two days a week. My sister handled his doctor appointments and communication with the all things medical related. My brother, who lives about two hours away, would visit as often as possible, and call several times a week. Yes, he could be exasperating, especially when he tried to cheat at cards, but I reminded myself daily that he didn't ask to be ill. So, we played cards together and I would razz him about his "house rules".<br /><br />My father-in-law took his cancer illness in stride. Didn't want a fuss, didn't want medication or treatment, and certainly didn't want strangers in his home caring for him. So the family got together and made a schedule. We went three times a week to bring dinner, make sure the shopping was done, do a load of laundry, and visit. My brother-in-law did the same three days a week. One of the grandchildren took the remaining day of the week. One thing that really helped was to have a three-ring binder to leave notes to each other. Just a quick note such as doing better today, won't drink his Ensure, losing more weight, groceries that need to be bought, that kind of thing. His two remaining sisters visited about once a week during the day, and his neighbor did as well.<br /><br />With both fathers, we talked about everything from sports, to family happenings, to their walk with the Lord. We laughed together, played together, and prayed together. We lost both of them last year within 4 months of each other. It truly feels like the end of an era and we miss them both greatly. As difficult as all this was, I wouldn't trade a moment of time spent with them. It's funny how I hadn't even thought of all the stress and harried times we endured last year until I wrote this letter. I choose to remember the hug, the twinkling eyes, or the laughter instead. As an added benefit, through His grace and their graciousness, I learned (again) how much I love my husband, and how special these two people were that gave us our roots.<br /><br />Kathie
Staff
2013-02-07T18:04:00Z
Working with My Brothers to Aid our Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Working-with-My-Brothers-to-Aid-our-Mother/-774761191045469123.html
2013-02-07T17:51:00Z
2013-02-07T17:51:00Z
Hi Dr. Laura.<br /><br />I have two brothers. One lives in Portland, the other in San Diego. I live in CA between them. My mother developed dementia and memory problems, and since I'm the only one in the same town, it was up to me to care for her. However, I included my brothers in all decisions and we worked together to get the best health care and living conditions she could afford.<br /><br />At times, my brothers were in some denial as to the severity, but when they came to visit, they would see I was not exaggerating; apologized and offered more help. I can honestly say that once we were all on the same train, there was no strife or arguing.<br /><br />She lasted 10 long years and we were united in her care. And I'll add that none of us expected to inherit anything from her; we simply wanted her to have the best care possible. Losing a parent to dementia is horrible. But at least my brothers and I remained united and friendly through it all.<br /><br />Anne
Staff
2013-02-07T17:51:00Z
The Growing Narcissism of Our Culture
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Growing-Narcissism-of-Our-Culture/996679279683829203.html
2013-02-06T08:09:00Z
2013-02-06T08:09:00Z
Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I heard your commentary yesterday on the topic of narcissism and agree with your point of view. We have four children, ages 16, 14, 11 and 9, whom we homeschool. We homeschool for a variety of reasons, primarily so we can teach Christianity freely during school, but also for many other reasons.<br /><br />We work at combating child narcissism in many ways. My 16-year-old daughter did not have a cell phone for years, and only received one with no access to the Internet this past year for Christmas, after she turned 16. Our other children do not have, nor do they need, cell phones. My 14-year-old son would love to have a Facebook account. We have said no for a variety of reasons, including the ones you talked about, as we see kids who fixate on posting photos and odd comments about themselves. We don't want this for our children, thank you.<br /><br />Most importantly, I believe, we combat narcissism by raising our children in a Christian home, going to Sunday School and church each week, and by teaching them that God calls them to help others first. To help others, as the Bible says, is to help Christ himself. We teach our children, properly, that they are sinners in need of saving grace, not little founts of perfection who need to be praised day and night. We hope that we have found a good balance of praise and support for them, balanced by the reality of their sin nature, and their need for repentance. Reliance on the Word of God takes care of that self-focused lifestyle that we see from many families around us.<br /><br />We are also a part of a wonderful Christian homeschool co-op group, which supports and stresses all of these values with the children. We teach our children the benefits of hard work, self-reliance, not having to be the center of attention, and all of the biblical virtues espoused by Jesus. With the help of the Lord, we hope and pray that we are on the right path, and gather support from those like-minded parents around us. Take hope, Dr. Laura, there are parents out here who are working with all of their might to fight the culture around us, and to raise Godly, selfless children. God willing, we will be successful!<br /><br />Remember, as you have taught, that simply because something is difficult to do, does not mean that one ought not to pursue the difficult goal. It is tremendously challenging to fight the crumbling Western culture around us which is attempting to get rid of all religious and biblical values. But God calls us to work with all of our might and to take the best care we can of the children He has entrusted to us. Like others in cultures past (think of the first Christians fighting Roman influences), we will remain faithful with His help. Thank you so much for talking about these important issues, and for getting us to think more about them! You are a beacon in an increasingly dark cultural world.<br /><br />God bless you, Dr. Laura!<br /><br />Blessings from Texas,<br /><br /><br />Kris
Staff
2013-02-06T08:09:00Z
Why Can't Parents Just Say No?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Cant-Parents-Just-Say-No/487022812477986747.html
2013-02-06T08:07:00Z
2013-02-06T08:07:00Z
Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br /><br />Your opening comments regarding narcissistic young adults was brilliant! I wish I could blare it at the next PTO meeting. I wish everyone of my 10-year-old's friends' parents could hear it. Hell, I wish my 10-year-old was here to listen to it.<br /><br />My 10-year-old had friends overnight for her birthday last month. Four out of the six girls who came brought a cell phone with texting capabilities. At one point the kids with the phones were texting someone (I don't know who). How dare these parents make me responsible for their children texting on their phones? I finally took all the cell phones away.<br /><br />A few days later, one of the mothers was complaining on Facebook no less, that her daughter was getting texts on her phone from a stranger. WHAT DID SHE THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN??? I told the mother I was not watching who the girls were texting at my home and she could have easily gotten this contact from another kid.<br /><br />I get friend requests on Facebook from nieces and nephews less than 10-years-old that I'm constantly denying. When the kids see me, they ask why I'm not their friend on Facebook. I tell them it's against Facebook rules for me to be their friend.<br /><br />My kid is constantly asking for a phone, Facebook, and so on. NO! NO!! NO!!! Sure would be nice if all parents could stand together on this. Sigh! You were so right on today!<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br /><br />Kim<br />
Staff
2013-02-06T08:07:00Z
The Importance of Moms Taking Time for Themselves
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-of-Moms-Taking-Time-for-Themselves/885013865070470020.html
2013-02-05T23:18:00Z
2013-02-05T23:18:00Z
I'm going to cut to the chase since I am a mother of 4 and don't have time to respond at length. My kids are now 17, 19, 21, 22. I am a stay-at-home mom survivor and married 25 years now.<br /><br />It is critical you take the time to eat healthy. For one, if you don't, your children won't either. Then when they are in their teens, Taco Bell will be their best friend and your worst enemy. So it's a lose-lose situation for everyone. <br /><br />Exercise is a must. It is impossible to control your hormones when as a busy mom you're living on minimal sleep and energy. Whatever kind it is, exercise at the same time each day. I know you will think things change, people get sick etc. but, put it on your calendar and stick to the schedule. I have found the best time to exercise is first thing in the morning, even if it means getting up 30 minutes early. It will be a better day for all if you know you have gotten your exercise in. You will be more relaxed and willing to sacrifice the rest of your day and give to your children.<br /><br />Most important, have sex with your husband. It may seem like such a chore, but this is what will keep your man around 25 years. Don't let anyone tell you differently. Don't look at it as something for your man, but something for yourself. It doesn't have to be at night. It can be any 10 minutes that come your way any time during the day. Have a lunch time picnic in your backseat with your husband at his office, or maybe right when he comes home. Your kids will survive you being gone for 10 minutes, your marriage won't. Trust me on this one. When those kids are long gone it will be you and your man. So be sure he is still around to help with the grandkids!!!!<br /><br /><br />Marilyn
Staff
2013-02-05T23:18:00Z
Busy Moms and Healthy Habits
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Busy-Moms-and-Healthy-Habits/-916994433227422729.html
2013-02-04T22:26:00Z
2013-02-04T22:26:00Z
In order for "busy" moms to "find" time for the important things, we need to first look at what we are doing with our time and be willing to change some things. If we want to have time for reading scriptures or exercising or being intimate with our spouses, those are the first things we need to "schedule" in our days and then structure everything else around them. For healthy eating habits, we need to have healthy food available to us rather than unhealthy things -- prepare vegetables, grains, whatever beforehand so they are ready for us to grab during the day and keep the less-healthy options out of the house.<br /><br />Just make the rule that after exercise, intimacy, eating right, etc, then we are welcome to do whatever else we tend to spend our time on as much as we want. We will be more successful rather than just saying we need to exercise. Do the important stuff first, then get on the computer or watch television or do our crafting (whatever the activity is). So, there may still be days when we don't manage to get the exercising done, but at least we won't have missed it because we were frittering our time away on something of lesser value.<br /><br />Kathryn<br />
Staff
2013-02-04T22:26:00Z
What Lifestyle Do You Want in Your Future?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Lifestyle-Do-You-Want-in-Your-Future/-313259362908860938.html
2013-02-04T22:18:00Z
2013-02-04T22:18:00Z
Here are some possible reasons why that 18-year-old girl, who was thinking about career vs. motherhood and what lifestyle she wanted in her future, couldn't answer your question...<a href="/pg/jsp/charts/audioMaster.jsp?dispid=306&pid=93052" target="_blank">(Listen to the call here.) </a><br />
<blockquote>1. Maybe she never had an awesome mom who made the most amazing peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for kindergarten.<br /><br />2. Maybe her mom was probably too busy to walk her to school... she never had this amazing adventure.<br /><br />3. Maybe she never had her mother at the house and enjoy reading time with Mom (either in or outdoors) making all the silly voices of the characters....<br /><br />4. Maybe Mom wasn't there when she pulled her first tooth out and took care of the bleeding with the most amazing care you would ever experience in your life.<br /><br />5. Maybe Mom was on the phone while she played. Mom should've known her child was only trying to get her attention...<br /><br />6. Mom didn't tell her to do the right thing and end the conversation with a kiss and a life lesson.<br /><br />7. Maybe she never had mom for nap time to help her fall asleep.<br /><br />8. Maybe MOM neglected to give to this young daughter grocery store time - another great adventure.</blockquote>
<br />Doesn't it strike you as odd she didn't mention what deep, face-to-face conversation she had with "Mom" about the issue she called about regarding school and family life in the future. I may not talk with my mom often but when I have trouble Mom and/or Dad are the ones who guide me.<br /><br />I've seen both sides of this situation. Kids raised by others usually have deeper relationships and bonds with strangers than with their mothers. Son/Daughter to Mom relationship is superficial and ok but not special.<br /><br />She may not accept that she has issues now, but she will when college and loneliness hits her in the face that first semester. She'll see all these amazing kids who had stay-at-home moms and she will then realize, she had half a childhood, not a whole one like we, the lucky ones, the ones who mattered the most to our mothers, had.<br />
Staff
2013-02-04T22:18:00Z
Big Things Come in Small Packages
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Big-Things-Come-in-Small-Packages/-333902337278792730.html
2013-02-02T00:02:00Z
2013-02-02T00:02:00Z
Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I would like to comment on your video titled, <a href="/b/Video:-My-Son-Doesnt-Have-Friends/-630784242332970978.html" target="_blank">"My Son Doesn't Have Friends."</a> We have 2 boys, ages 9 and 6, and just started homeschooling this month due mostly to social problems in school. I guess you could say our 9 year old is like the boy referenced in your video except our son <strong>does</strong> want to have friends. Some parents try to create their child's life instead of letting it happen naturally. As a parent sometimes you need to let the child lead you. Just because he is a child doesn't mean the parent can't learn from him.<br /><br />When my oldest boy was in kindergarten, one day out of the blue he asked me, "Mom, who is God and why don't we go to church?" Hmm… Now that's a hard question to answer. My neighbor invited us to attend their church. To my surprise he feels "at home" in church. It seems to be his natural environment. We have been attending church for almost 3 years now and I have realized he is my angel sent from God. I hated church growing up and so did my husband so we never made religion a priority as a family. These past 3 years have changed my life. I have more patience, compassion for others; I'm more loving to my family, and feel peace. I never would have felt this way if it weren't for the curiosity of my then 6-year-old son. God knew I needed Him and he gave me a son who would guide me. Big things do come in small packages!<br /><br />Bless you and the work you do!<br /><br />Tara<br /><br />
Staff
2013-02-02T00:02:00Z
Offensive 'Boyfriend Trainer' App
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Offensive-Boyfriend-Trainer-App/27342460965608537.html
2013-02-01T23:52:00Z
2013-02-01T23:52:00Z
I enjoy your show immensely and value your advice on marriage and relationships. I am especially appreciative of the many topics for thought you bring up in your dialogues.<br /><br />Thank you so much for discussing the offensive iPhone app "Boyfriend Trainer" on your radio program. As a loving wife and devoted mother of two young school aged boys, I found even the mere idea of this app revolting.<br /><br />I went to the App Store and read the description and several of the reviews. Most of the reviews were from people who also found this app to be offensive. To post a review, however you have to purchase the app, which I, of course, refuse to do.<br />Alternatively, I went to Apple's website (the "Contact Us" section) and sent an email to request this offensive app to be removed. I encourage other people to do so as well. If this app were portraying the same types of sadistic torture being applied to ANY other demographic of people, it would have never made it to the App Store. The fact that the idea of applying various forms of torture to train men, is deemed appropriate quite frankly sickens me.<br /><br />This app is horrendous just on principle alone, however to rate this appropriate for kids ages 4+ defies any logic whatsoever. Just what we need is another generation of girls being raised to belittle and devalue men in our society.<br /><br />Again, thank you for mentioning this and I hope more people write to Apple via email in support of having this removed.<br /><br /> <br />Nichole
Staff
2013-02-01T23:52:00Z
Unable to Do Work and Home Well
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Unable-to-Do-Work-and-Home-Well/-270838382291990525.html
2013-02-01T00:22:00Z
2013-02-01T00:22:00Z
<br />Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I want to thank you so much for your insight regarding my call yesterday about my decision not to tell my children about their father's method of suicide. I love your direct approach and honesty and I trust your advice.<br /><br />I wanted to thank you for another "nugget" from the broadcast. I have been a full time teacher for 18 years....taking a year off with my first child after he was born and 2 years off with the twins. Just this past year, I made the decision (urged strongly by my husband) to stop working. I was, as you so eloquently said during our call, unable to do work and home "well". My kids were suffering because I had nothing left at the end of the school day, yet that is when they needed me the most.<br /><br />Listening to you speak to the 18-year-old girl who dreamt of "having it all" was so refreshing. I have never described myself as a teacher. I am always a mom and wife first. I only taught because we needed the income. I love teaching, but once I had children that passion shifted from my job to my children.<br /><br />So now that I am home full-time, I often hear, "What a waste of your gift....to not teach and instead be home all day." Well, while I am home all day, I can pop in to school and volunteer, go to the gym and take care of myself (I have been fighting PTSD since the suicide), as well as keep our home running as smoothly as I can. I really feel like I am in uncharted territory...not working but with kids in school. All I know is now I get to visit and giggle with my children as I make them breakfast and pack their lunches, rather than rushing past with wet hair and throwing cereal at them telling them to hurry. When I pick them up at the end of the day (which is now 3:00 vs. 4:30) I have a smile on my face and we go to the library, to the park, wherever. We are all so much healthier.<br /><br />So thank you for validating our decision. It's hard to find support like that this day and age.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br /><br />Sarah
Staff
2013-02-01T00:22:00Z
Life Lesson about Dating
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Life-Lesson-about-Dating/-913798707767502856.html
2013-02-01T00:02:00Z
2013-02-01T00:02:00Z
I was startled when I read the title to the Email of the Day: <a href="/b/My-Father-Found-My-Husband-for-Me/143267021749464935.html">My Father Found My Husband for Me</a>. I thought I might have known this lady.<br /><br />As a young man I never dated until I graduated from college. This was in spite of my parents encouraging me to find myself a girlfriend. I just didn't think I wanted the hassle of a girlfriend, since I was really struggling to pass my engineering classes.<br /><br />But as a college junior, 20 years old, one of my dad's coworkers introduced me to his daughter, who was also 20 years old. She was absolutely beautiful! I had an opportunity to chat with her for a couple of hours at a holiday party our families had gone to. But even then I was too shy to ask her out.<br /><br />As she lived in a small town about three hours drive from my home town, I thought I would never see her again and my experience with her would be just one more disappointing memory. Well, as it turned out, she and her two brothers spent several weeks in my home town since there were much better shopping and entertainment venues. So after those holidays, she and her brothers showed up at my dad's place of work where I had met her the first time, just to say goodbye. I was unsure what to do then and only after they were gone did it occur to me that that girl was giving me yet another (final) opportunity to ask her out, or at least say something about getting to know her. A while later my dad told me she had married some guy. I was very disappointed, and shocked, to hear that.<br /><br />That was 38 years ago. I have now finally figured it out. That girl would have been a great friend and wife! And I couldn't have asked for, nor did I ever have, any better opportunity to meet a nice girl than for her dad to introduce us. But I messed it up completely. I was young and not perceptive at all when it came to social things. In fact I wasn't even on the same planet with most other people. Just call me "Sheldon Cooper" from the TV show "The Big Bang Theory." I have forgiven myself, but I still regret that mistake, even though I have been married to another lady for 23 years now. It still stings that I wasted so much of my life trying to recover from a single mistake I made as a young guy.<br /> <br />M.
Staff
2013-02-01T00:02:00Z
Not Doing and Doing the Right Thing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Not-Doing-and-Doing-the-Right-Thing/-133595588116396680.html
2013-01-30T22:12:00Z
2013-01-30T22:12:00Z
During my first marriage I strayed - mainly because my wife was not her husband's girlfriend. But that doesn't matter for I was not my wife's boyfriend. And for that I have regrets.<br /><br />I married the woman with whom I strayed, and got into the stepfamily thing - a challenging situation to say the least. I don't think either of us realized what we were dealing with. On top of that she was my "damsel in distress." And yes, as you predict, she quickly became my distressed damsel. We later divorced, leaving 3 children as victims.<br /><br />Now the better news...<br /><br />After the split, I decided to move into an apartment across the street from my kids' school. They could stay over as often as they wanted. Their mom and I had no custody agreement. Nor did we have a child support agreement. Being across from my kids' school allowed me to easily take them to and from their after school activities. I agreed to pay the mortgage of my ex-wife's as long as the children lived there. And I agreed to pay ALL of the children's' expenses - no questions asked. (Finally, I'm doing the RIGHT thing!)<br /><br />After they got out of school, I re-married. Now I am my wife's boyfriend, and quickly discovered that when I do that, she becomes my girlfriend. And again, I'm doing the right thing.<br /><br />There are several lessons here - all of which point to the things you harp on (uh.. forget that...I mean "mention") every day on your show. Well it works! Thank you for showing us the "right thing".<br /><br />Bob
Staff
2013-01-30T22:12:00Z
A Point of View on Spouses and Dogs
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Point-of-View-on-Spouses-and-Dogs/648608047606339512.html
2013-01-30T22:02:00Z
2013-01-30T22:02:00Z
I'm a veterinarian...Cornell Class of 1965. It's been my observation that people select dog breeds with temperaments similar to their spouses.<br /><br />My husband gravitates toward Labrador Retrievers. Yes, I'm solid and dependable.<br /><br />I prefer Dobermans. My husband is solid and dependable with an edge that keeps me on my toes.<br /><br />A female friend loves Bassets. Her husband is huggable and unflappable. He, on the other hand is partial to Jack Russell terriers...bright and animated like his little red headed wife!<br /><br />I thought the owner of Rhodesian Ridgebacks and a poodle might find this observation entertaining.<br /><br />Linda
Staff
2013-01-30T22:02:00Z
All Work Is Honorable
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/All-Work-Is-Honorable/-559154294956739243.html
2013-01-29T23:46:00Z
2013-01-29T23:46:00Z
Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I think that young people are set up for making poor career choices when they are guided to think about their career as picking something that they will like to do, which most often correlates with "will I be making big bucks". Or worse yet, they take some type of evaluation that says what they would be good at doing and then they pursue that at great expense but forget to look at their employability after completing the major (meaning no jobs in that field). BIG waste of time, money and energy!<br /><br />I think that they need to be guided to think, "What can I do that will give back to others/society?" And they need a practical evaluation of where the jobs are for the future so they know if they will be employed when they complete their degree.<br /><br />Lastly, the skills jobs/tech jobs have been degraded and downplayed over the esteem given to college degrees. Well, I want someone skilled when my furnace cuts out or my plumbing backs up. I am deeply indebted to a good carpenter to help me. I am much appreciative of a skill ultrasound tech who is doing my scans. And lastly, I am much appreciative of a skilled housekeeper in the hospital who knows that she is the first line of defense against spreading MRSA or C. Diff., not to mention that I appreciate having my garbage dumped and my room tidied.<br /><br />In sum, ALL WORK is HONORABLE and should be done with honor and respect to those we serve, no matter what. This is the lesson that should be taught to assist people in their career choices.<br /><br />Thank you for the opportunity to offer my opinion.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br /><br />Rosalyn (ROSE)<br />
Staff
2013-01-29T23:46:00Z
Cleaning Up After a Messy Toddler
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cleaning-Up-After-a-Messy-Toddler/-260787057417122784.html
2013-01-29T23:34:00Z
2013-01-29T23:34:00Z
Dr. Laura,<br /><br /><br />The best advice you ever gave me was that all my husband needs to be happy is "sex and homemade cookies." Never have I received better advice for my marriage. I want to thank you again for completely changing my life. I know we will most likely never meet, but you seriously are one of my heroes and someone I truly respect and admire. Thank you for making me a better person.<br /><br />But that is not why I am writing. I am writing to tell you that in addition to everything else, you helped me give up being a nurse to stay at home with my 2 kiddos (2 1/2 and 2 months). Today I was holding the baby and watching my 2 1/2 year old son discover how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for the first time. It was such a cute moment. And after I am done with this email, while I am scrubbing peanut butter and jelly off the cupboards, drawers, and floor, I will still have a smile on my face and be so happy that I WAS THERE for that moment...ME! And after he finished making it, it was ME who he was able to show the finished masterpiece to and smile at with his peanut butter covered face. I'm so happy I AM HERE to let my toddler make fun messes and that I AM HERE to clean up after my him.<br /><br />Thank you for everything!<br /><br /><br />Kathryn
Staff
2013-01-29T23:34:00Z
We Need Real Heroes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Need-Real-Heroes/324639775394272939.html
2013-01-29T00:10:00Z
2013-01-29T00:10:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>I watched the Oprah interview with Mr. Armstrong. Let me just preface here a bit by telling you that I teach court mandated anger management to groups so I can spot remorse with both eyes blindfolded.</p>
<p>This interview had no remorse. It was too calculating, too prepared and too staged on his part. He said his biggest regret was standing down from his foundation, (and so he should have and I feel very sorry for all he duped there too). But when his son accepted his "explanation" without question because Lance was his dad, that wasn't his biggest "ah-ha" moment.</p>
<p>He needed this interview to further what he wants to do. He's only sorry he got caught. He needs years of psychotherapy for his narcissistic personality. He was playing Oprah and not once could I ascertain any true emotion.</p>
<p>He should be held as an example of one who apologized for convenience. He doesn't get the magnitude of he deeds. He cannot empathize with those he's hurt and to me that makes him psychologically dangerous. Kids need to learn from this. They need to look at heroes who are real and work hard, not just make money off endorsements. Look to your local police officer, firefighter, pastor, grocery clerk, shelters that help the homeless. Those people are true heroes.</p>
<p>Thanks for the rant</p>
<p>Donna</p>
Staff
2013-01-29T00:10:00Z
A Better Alternative to Lance Armstrong - a True Role Model
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Better-Alternative-to-Lance-Armstrong---a-True-Role-Model/98430322380270619.html
2013-01-29T00:05:00Z
2013-01-29T00:05:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura-</p>
<p>Have you scene this article? Why isn't the media playing this up? This man is a TRUE ROLE MODEL. His story is one in which we can all learn a lesson.</p>
<p>You can <a href="http://www.theworld.org/2013/01/anaya-runner-spain/" target="_blank">listen to the story here</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><strong>Ivan Fernandez Anaya, Spanish Runner, Intentionally Loses Race So Opponent Can Win</strong><br /><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/18/ivan-fernandez-anaya-hone_n_2505360.html" target="_blank">From the HuffingtonPost.com<br /></a><br />A Spanish runner has shown the world that sometimes, just sometimes, winning isn't everything.</p>
<p>Last month, Spanish athlete Ivan Fernandez Anaya impressed the world by giving up victory to do the right thing. According to El Pais, it happened as the 24-year-old raced a cross-country event in Burlada, Navarre on Dec. 2.</p>
<p>In second place to Abel Mutai, the Kenyan athlete who won a bronze medal in the London Olympics, Anaya suddenly had a chance to surge ahead. According to El Pais, Mutai mistakenly thought the end of the race came about 10 meters sooner than it did, and stopped running.</p>
<p>Then, he “looked back and saw the people telling him to keep going," Anaya told CNA. "But since he doesn't speak Spanish he didn't realize it."</p>
<p>So Anaya slowed, guiding Mutai to the actual finish line.</p>
</blockquote>
<p><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/18/ivan-fernandez-anaya-hone_n_2505360.html" target="_blank">Read the entire article</a>.</p>
<p>This is the kind of story I want blasted in the media. This is what everyone needs to hear. I am so over Lance, like everyone else, oh, except for Lance himself!</p>
<p>Keep on reminding us to do the right thing! Thank you.</p>
<p>Cynthia</p>
Staff
2013-01-29T00:05:00Z
Treating Kindly Brightens Mornings
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Treating-Kindly-Brightens-Mornings/197353457486234855.html
2013-01-26T00:00:00Z
2013-01-26T00:00:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Let me lay some ground work first. My husband and I are newly married. My husband is kind of a neat freak. He notices when things are out of place.</p>
<p>I am a notorious grumpy morning person. My parents and roommates will tell you so.</p>
<p>But this morning, I snuck out of bed at 5:30 because my husband gets out of bed a little before that to do his morning routine in the bathroom (shower, shave, etc.). I decided to make him some hash browns and scrambled eggs. When he was done with his bathroom routine, he marched out and exclaimed, "Something smells good!"</p>
<p>We both sat down and while eating breakfast, I noticed I had left out an ingredient so I said, "Oops, I left out the pepper."</p>
<p>What came after was something completely unexpected. My husband started laughing and said, "I noticed you left it out, but I thought to myself, 'Oh hell, she made breakfast' so I curbed myself from saying anything."</p>
<p>That sure brightened my morning! And I guess I brightened his too.</p>
<p>Your faithful listener,</p>
<p>Cindy</p>
Staff
2013-01-26T00:00:00Z
Give Me Back the Energy!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Give-Me-Back-the-Energy!/282882888841729500.html
2013-01-25T23:58:00Z
2013-01-25T23:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr Laura!</p>
<p>I'm a long time listener and fan of yours! You will never know exactly how much you impact people's lives. I'm sure you know most of the ways you do, but here is the way you have recently ENCOURAGED ME beyond what you will ever know.</p>
<p>I am just beginning to recover from breast cancer. My prognosis is good. I had a mastectomy and am getting through chemo now. Whenever I hear of your latest plan to do things like sailing or working out or now CLIMBING MT WHITNEY???...I get sooo encouraged by your energy! I am 61 and have always been energetic and in fine shape, but during this cancer, I have been down sometimes at the idea that I may never get back to my old self - particularly since I am not young anymore! BUT YOU are my inspiration! I would never even WANT to climb a mountain. All I want is the energy to do it. Your energy and enthusiasm make me sob with the hope of it!</p>
<p>A few years ago you visited Coronado, where I live. I know because my friends and I were power walking under the bridge and passed you walking with your husband and someone else. I was so happy to see you, I said "Hi, Dr Laura, we love you!" You smiled sweetly back at me and said, "HI! Thank you!" You are my dear friend, although you don't know me. Thanks for everything you do! I even like dogs now, hearing you talk of your dogs!</p>
<p>Love you,</p>
<p>Charity</p>
Staff
2013-01-25T23:58:00Z
Carry the Cow...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Carry-the-Cow.../716737311755951370.html
2013-01-25T01:08:00Z
2013-01-25T01:08:00Z
<p>It was 1962 and I was a freshman in high school fresh off the farm. I was sitting in a Latin class with a teacher "older than dirt". She was very demanding and kept saying "If you carry the cow, you can carry the calf." If you do more, you'll also be prepared when less is needed. We got the meaning and 2 hours of homework every night kept us abreast of what she demanded we learn. I was brought up to not complain and to do what was expected of me. For that I am very glad.</p>
<p>That dear lady, (who was a sophomore in college when McKinley was assassinated), instilled a love of words and their derivation that I carried through my 44 years of teaching. In turn, I passed on the fun of a good vocabulary to my students in school and my seven children at home. A good example was a t-shirt our son wore his sophomore year in college "Is it solipsistic in here or is it just me?" I used that with my 5th graders who are now in college. When they see me, they quote it, and tell me they still love to use the word.</p>
<p>Cecilia</p>
Staff
2013-01-25T01:08:00Z
One Person Can Make a Difference for Generations
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/One-Person-Can-Make-a-Difference-for-Generations/-738253156162568743.html
2013-01-25T01:06:00Z
2013-01-25T01:06:00Z
<p>If I could go back in time to witness a family event, I would go back to 1908, lower Manhattan, New York. My grandmother, the daughter of Irish immigrants was put into a catholic orphanage. She was told her parents were unable to support their six children. She would never see them again. I would volunteer at that orphanage to make her life easier. I'd let her know she was loved and valued. I'd tell that scared 6-year-old girl she would grow up to be quite a woman and not to worry. That she would live a long healthy life and be the most special grandma to a shy, abused, little girl. She alone would save that girl's life and by changing the course of her granddaughter's life, she would change her great grandchildren and all the future babies still to come. Even nearly 20 years after her death she is still beloved and thought of daily.</p>
<p>Catherine</p>
Staff
2013-01-25T01:06:00Z
What I Look Forward to as I Get Older
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-I-Look-Forward-to-as-I-Get-Older/811963055123479201.html
2013-01-23T23:03:00Z
2013-01-23T23:03:00Z
Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I'll be 47 in nine days and do not, as a rule, look forward to aging because I love life so much now. And despite a strong and active faith, getting older scares the hell out of me! <br /><br />But you were having a conversation with a troubled young woman a few weeks ago, who ultimately wanted to be a vet if she could get herself untangled from some current difficulties. You encouraged her in this direction, because working with animals would bring out the softness in her.<br /><br />That really got my attention, because I, too, love animals and I know have an edge that needs softening. It also got my attention, because as odd as it sounds, I study you for clues, Dr. Laura. You are 20 years older than I. And while you certainly can have an edge (!), you are on purpose and strong enough to be pretty and soft, too - often wearing light colors and soft textures. And you love life.<br /><br />So, as I get older, I look forward to having the inner strength to be on purpose and to soften, while continuing to love life.<br /><br />Stephanie<br />
Staff
2013-01-23T23:03:00Z
Teaching Manners to Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teaching-Manners-to-Children/-329070541884756043.html
2013-01-23T22:50:00Z
2013-01-23T22:50:00Z
Regarding your Stay at Home - Parenting article: <a href="/b/Playing-Manners-Scenarios-with-Kids/-490211868243691093.html">Playing Manners Scenarios with Kids</a>… <br /><br />I just wanted to relay my thankfulness to parents in today's world who take the time to teach manners. This reminded me of a recent Christmas shopping story I have. During a trip to the local specialty market, while at their perfume and essential oils section, there was a father with his two sons picking out a Christmas gift for their mother. He was sooo patient and playful with them: kneeling down at their level the entire time, trying different scents with them, making sure they had a real hand in their choices for her. It was so cute, encouraging and moving for me to see the attention he gave to them and the great lessons he was teaching. This is not something you see much these days. I waited until it seemed they were almost done and told him how wonderful I thought it was that he was doing this with them for their mother. He thanked me and said he enjoys it. I responded that it's clear they did too and the lesson of respect for their mother he was teaching them was very inspiring.<br /><br />Shelley<br />
Staff
2013-01-23T22:50:00Z
Mom vs. Dad Way of Thinking
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mom-vs.-Dad-Way-of-Thinking/-379841324224898632.html
2013-01-23T01:25:00Z
2013-01-23T01:25:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I had something happen that I wanted to share with you. My life has taken some life changing events lately, one of which is that I am going to college for the first time ever at the grand old age of 48. I think I might be a nurse when I grow up.</p>
<p>I am taking a 16 week first aid class that just started yesterday. The professor was talking about how to respond in emergency situations. He asked us between our child and our spouse who would we save if we could only save one of them. Well, as a mother I did not even have to think, of course I would save my child. I thought that was the most ridiculous question I had heard! Then I heard his answer. He explained he would save his wife. His reasoning was that God had given him his wife to love, honor and protect, to have and to hold for the rest of his life. His child was only going to be in his life a short time, then they would grow up and move on to have lives of their own. He then told us about a class he had taught a few years ago where this lady stood up and called him a pig. He said it took the whole 16 weeks to get on her good side. However he also talked about going home that night and telling his wife about his class and their talk. She told him that if he saved her and not her babies she would kill him.</p>
<p>So after almost 25 years of marriage I came home and told my husband (because we do have a adopted daughter/granddaughter) that he had better save the child! Just another way that men and women differ...</p>
<p>Blessing to you Dr. Laura and thank you for all you do for us!</p>
<p>Angela</p>
Staff
2013-01-23T01:25:00Z
I Was Called Out on a Bad Habit
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Was-Called-Out-on-a-Bad-Habit/493953909473033010.html
2013-01-23T01:20:00Z
2013-01-23T01:20:00Z
<p>When my kids were younger, and I had 3 kids in 3 different schools, (yep, high school, jr. high and elementary). It was always a mad rush in the morning driving them to school. One morning I was speeding and got a ticket (only my 2nd one in over 20 years of driving, but first ever speeding). I decided to go to a stand up comedy driving school. When he asked what all of our tickets were for, 70% were speeding, which he thanked us for, so he could put food on the table for his family. However, one lady, who was a mom, said, "But I have to rush every where to get kids to places on time." He stood there pointing his finger at her and shouted, "Lady, you are undisciplined." He didn't know it, but he was talking to me!</p>
<p>I finally got more organized in the morning, and took control of watching the speedometer often to stay at the speed limit. Being late became rare, and being a much more disciplined driver has made me grateful to be called to accountability.</p>
<p>Doris</p>
Staff
2013-01-23T01:20:00Z
Dating Rules
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dating-Rules/-202027788202543757.html
2013-01-22T01:10:00Z
2013-01-22T01:10:00Z
<p>Here are only a few of the responses we received from listeners who answered the question, "What dating rules did your parents make you follow when you were a teenager?"</p>
<p><br />Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>When I started dating, my big brother and hero made me promise never to wear a skirt or dress on a date. This was awkward at times, but it saved me from being raped by delaying the attacker just enough to get away.</p>
<p>It also kept me from following my hormones. Taking off pants is a decision. Lifting a skirt can be done quick and easy.</p>
<p>Just like my big Brother said.</p>
<p>As a woman in my 30's, entering the dating scene after a divorce, I still keep my promise.</p>
<p>Rebekah</p>
<p> </p>
<p>My parents required us to be 16 before we could date. We have also made that our rule for our three girls, now 22, 18 and 17 years old. They have tended to go on group dates or outings. We have a very open dialog with them about sex, drugs and where those things lead. The younger two still have been on almost no dates where it is just 1 boy and 1 girl. They much prefer the safety of group outings. Hence, they have only kissed one or two and not lost the precious gift they are saving for their husbands.</p>
<p>Connie</p>
<p> </p>
<p>My parent's rule on dating was simple: I couldn't get in a car with a teenager driver. I could meet a boy somewhere (school dance, etc.), but my folks would drive me to and from the "date."</p>
<p>Laurie</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When my kids started high school, and they wanted to "date", I told them they had to go in a group of 5 or more... while this was not a popular decision, it did keep them safe. They weren't alone with a boy on the first date, nor were they double dating with friends that might be at a more serious point in their relationship (or possibly just more likely to be making out), which can create even more pressure to get physical. The best part about this plan, however, is they get to see how their new "interest" treats others. Are they considerate; do they need to be the center of attention; are they rude to the other girls present? The number 5 tended to be adhered to, and an odd number definitely curtailed any making out. If there were more than 5, the "date" ended up being more of a group activity, so again, less pressure.</p>
<p>My kids are now 21 and 23, and both recognize this was a helpful rule, even if they didn't like it back then.</p>
<p>Susan</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2013-01-22T01:10:00Z
Age of First Date
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Age-of-First-Date/413686342987955771.html
2013-01-22T00:51:00Z
2013-01-22T00:51:00Z
<p>I don't think the poll on your site: "At what age would you let your teen start to date?" has enough categories. You only list ages, but there should be a selection like: "Whenever his mom and dad think he AND his date are mature enough to behave themselves appropriately." It depends on the kid and their date, as well as their planned activities. Planning is critical. They need to have a specific plan of what they will do, when, and when they will return home.</p>
<p>As a young guy, I (ahem...) did not start dating until I was 23 and out of college. 23! Not because I never had any opportunities. It was my choice. I never wanted the hassle of it all. I had better things to do. Even at 23, I was immature and let the girl get much too familiar with me much too quickly - because I liked it... And she had an agenda. I should have known better. But she was a good church girl (my own denomination) and her mom was a church organist. What's to worry about then, right?! Fortunately I knew where to draw the line for potential pregnancies, but it took me far too long to extract myself from that relationship. Then I swore I wouldn't date for any reason until I met the girl that I would be want as a wife. Well, that took me until I was 35! Lots of time wasted now that I look back on it. But I imagine it was all in God's plan for me.</p>
<p>Martin</p>
Staff
2013-01-22T00:51:00Z
Changing from Negative to Positive
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-from-Negative-to-Positive/674171148581293559.html
2013-01-19T00:05:00Z
2013-01-19T00:05:00Z
<p>My mentor is my foster mom. I lived with my foster family for just over one year when I was 15 years old, but I was stubborn and independent. I learned so much from her, like what a mom was supposed to be like.</p>
<p>But the one thing that stands out was on a visit to her when my marriage was still fairly new. (This was before I had heard of you Dr. Laura.) We were sitting outside chatting, the men were inside. Apparently I was complaining about my husband because she said "Don't you ever say anything <strong><em>nice</em></strong> about your husband?" Dr. Laura, I didn't even know I was complaining. It was just standard for me to be negative about men, and to gripe about my husband. It came natural.</p>
<p>I took that under serious advisement and made a concerted effort to find nice things to say about him to others. I found that I started liking and loving him more. My youth had set me up to hate men. My foster mom - my mentor - taught me that men are good. And mine is the greatest!</p>
<p>When I found you, it just added to my learning. I love my foster mom and dad. They are my real family to me.</p>
<p>Jae</p>
Staff
2013-01-19T00:05:00Z
The Synchronicity of Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Synchronicity-of-Life/541700065649245343.html
2013-01-19T00:02:00Z
2013-01-19T00:02:00Z
<p>My husband and I have had two crazy years. To make a long story short, we decided to let go of a job he had for over 12 years because we could not handle the immorality of how they did business. He started a new company and money has been tight. He has also had to travel a lot. Despite it all, we have never been better. We tell ourselves all the time "Happy are those who dream dreams, and are willing to pay the price to make them come true".</p>
<p>I, of course, am a daughter of Dr. Laura so the love and support I have for my husband is unwavering. He has all my respect and admiration and I am blessed to have such a man.</p>
<p>Listening to your program today I heard you tell a woman about the movie with Ben Affleck which depicts a year in his character's life, trying to survive corporate downsizing and how his wife was what saved him. I started to tell my husband about it briefly in a passing phone conversation, but I could not remember the name of the movie... I could only say, "Dr. Laura mentioned a movie we should watch." Tonight my husband called me and said, "I just watched the best movie. It was so good. It really inspired me for our situation." He went on to say it was "Company Men"! I could not believe it. This was the title to the movie you recommended. He wants to watch it with me when he gets home. He said it really made him feel like we were going to be alright!</p>
<p>Thank you so much Dr. Laura. Those words would never be enough. I know I owe everything good in my life to you. I may not have my mom, but I have you.</p>
<p>Monica</p>
Staff
2013-01-19T00:02:00Z
Taking a Difficult Situation and Making Lemonade
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-a-Difficult-Situation-and-Making-Lemonade/-231508785738594974.html
2013-01-17T23:40:00Z
2013-01-17T23:40:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Pull up a cup of coffee or tea and keep reading...this warms my heart.</p>
<p>I'm reflecting today on the many events that have impacted my life over the past year and wanted to share with you what an incredible man I have in my life. My husband has two siblings who have had "issues" with their father over the past few years. He is 82 years old and needed to leave his huge home and move to an apartment recently because financially he was struggling, but the house was just too big for him. We lost his wife 3 years ago.</p>
<p>My husband and I took care of this huge move with him. We had estate sales and garage sales. The sorting, packing, moving and unpacking as well as helping him transition into his new life was a labor of love and we were glad to do it.</p>
<p>I could not help but be very angry at my husband's two siblings and their spouses for not participating in this endeavor. When we asked them to help they would not reply but we did continue to let them know when moving day and garage sales were occurring in the hopes they would come.</p>
<p>Last night I had the courage to ask my husband who is usually non-judgmental for his opinion about his siblings' non-participation with their dad's transition. I needed to understand how we will move forward with them after they pretty much "dumped" all the work on us without any explanation. He looked at me and said, "The relationships will never be the same. I'm not angry, I'm just sad for them. I'm sad to think they could treat our father in such a way that is cold and disrespectful. A father who was supportive, loving, fun and provided countless fond memories for me and my siblings during our teenage years. I'm sad...that is it."</p>
<p>Dr. Laura, I was so impressed by his response. He has taught me so much in our 25 years of marriage. My husband has patience and compassion when it is not warranted and certainly not deserved.</p>
<p>My husband has taken a difficult situation and created an environment of love and thoughtfulness. I'm not sure what the future holds with his two siblings. I won't worry because I know he will stand up when needed, calm me down when needed and will do the right thing when needed. I'm humbled and the luckiest wife ever.</p>
<p>These are my reflections for today. It is amazing. I love to hold on to my true feelings in a place where they belong, for a little while and then go on with my day...</p>
<p>Let go and let God is my motto for today...</p>
<p>Thanks for reading...</p>
<p>Catherine</p>
Staff
2013-01-17T23:40:00Z
Barefoot and Pregnant
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Barefoot-and-Pregnant/153932535407968795.html
2013-01-17T23:37:00Z
2013-01-17T23:37:00Z
<p>I'm listening to a call that reminds me of many others I have heard. The recurring topic is women thinking they have to be successful in a career to be loved by a man. I want to say I completely disagree with that. I'm 25 years old, a hard worker who would love to have an awesome career, but I have always put having a family as my priority in life.</p>
<p>I have been dating for years now and when I state to a man that I would be thrilled being barefoot and pregnant with my husband taking care of me someday, I get the same reaction 100% of the time. Every single guy is pleasantly surprised and excited. I swear I can see the daddy dreams floating through their heads.</p>
<p>Anyway, I thought some women may find this helpful. You can be smart, successful, strong, and sexy while still wanting to be there for your babies.</p>
<p>Carrie</p>
Staff
2013-01-17T23:37:00Z
Adoption Works
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Adoption-Works/113360836855672320.html
2013-01-16T23:59:00Z
2013-01-16T23:59:00Z
<p>My husband and I are married forever and have two sons and a daughter.</p>
<p>As soon as my then 15-year-old daughter asked me what would make her period late, I knew she was pregnant. There was no boyfriend in sight. She had been sneaking out to see a boy she knew wasn't good enough to bring home. I was furious. I was beyond angry. I was just preparing to launch a nasty string of words condemning my daughter for the pregnancy when she stopped me with words of her own, "It's okay. I'm going to place the baby for adoption." Well, I was still angry; however, to her credit, my daughter took excellent care of herself during her pregnancy. She missed only one day of school. She took on a part time job. She worked with an agency and chose a young couple to raise her baby.</p>
<p>After she delivered this healthy baby, she was home for only three weeks before returning to school and work. Getting pregnant was certainly wrong; however, she made something very right from that. The baby is now three years old and absolutely cherished by his family. It feels so good to know that this family now exists where it did not before because of what my daughter did.</p>
<p>She is now in college, a fresh start, and has turned her life around. She made the best decision that could be made in that situation. Not a day goes by that I don't think about that child who has the most wonderful family. God willing, someday, when the time is right, my daughter will have a wonderful family too.</p>
<p>Please, Dr Laura, keep speaking out for adoption. My daughter did the most loving thing she could do and for all of us. Babies and families are precious.</p>
<p>Susan</p>
Staff
2013-01-16T23:59:00Z
A Cheating Spouse
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Cheating-Spouse/502205790874827759.html
2013-01-16T23:55:00Z
2013-01-16T23:55:00Z
<p>Getting over a spouse who has wandered is very difficult. I know from experience. I don't know how many times or with how many men my wife cheated, but I do know that with one man things went pretty far. I found out about the last one around 3 years ago by reading the texts they had sent each other. Boy that was painful and I still have problems trusting and believing her. Certain times of the year, certain songs on the radio, certain situations bring back the heartache. I don't know if you ever get completely over it, however with prayer, working on our relationship, trying to make myself better, accepting that I too make mistakes, a renewed effort of showing affection and love, I have gotten through it.</p>
<p>Don't ask too many questions. You already have images in your head of her with someone else. Don't ask for details. It is better to not know. Work to cast negative thoughts out of your mind. Focus on your children and the importance of keeping the family unit together. Don't tell the children. It will rock their world and they don't need to know. Only confide in your religious leader and or a counselor. Friends and family members may not be as forgiving as you need them to be. Acknowledge your part in the action, but don't accept the blame for the other person's actions. They have their agency and even if you are a terrible person they still have their agency to make their choices. You didn't force them to do this awful thing.</p>
<p>Once you are back together, emotionally, let it die. Don't ever bring it up again- unless it happens again. Help them to know that you accept their repentance. In all outward appearances act as if this thing never happened. Don't keep score. Don't try and get even. Remember the long term goal is to keep the family together for the children, and grandchildren. Keep your eye focused on that goal. Children have a right to be born into a family where the parents love and respect each other. Express your love often.</p>
<p>P.</p>
Staff
2013-01-16T23:55:00Z
How to Treat the Previous Generation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-to-Treat-the-Previous-Generation/771350884351004812.html
2013-01-15T22:41:00Z
2013-01-15T22:41:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I am my husband's girlfriend/wife, and my kids' mom! My husband and I have always tried to support each other in our interacting with our parents. His parents were 20 years older than mine and are now at home in Heaven. We lived about 4 miles from them, and got along very well! My mom taught me how to treat my husband's mother, by how she treated my grandma....Thank you, Mom! After my mother-in-law died, we had Grandpa out 3 times a week, for 10 years, and sometimes more often as he aged and forgot which day it was! There were the usual challenges old age often brings, but we worked together, and our children had a wonderful relationship with Grandpa, and warm fuzzy memories of Grandma. <br /><br />Now my parents are at the later end of life and we live 3,000 miles from them, but we always try to be a support to them. We call them often through each week, and they usually come and stay with us for 3-4 weeks once a year in our home as well as with having them with me in the sunny south for another 4-5 weeks, during the winter months. I SO VERY MUCH appreciate my wonderful husband's love, care and support as we journey this road again, this time with my parents! He is so patient and makes them feel very welcome in our home! I never feel pulled between him and my parents! He has a great relationship with my Dad and a fun teasing relationship with my Mom! They love and appreciate him very much!<br /><br />I trust we are teaching our children how to care for us and their future partners' parents by the example we have tried to set! Whether we live close by or far away, it's team work, and my husband is a wonderful leader and partner....the very BEST!! And I love to tell him that!! And thank him often for his love and care of MY parents!<br /><br />Thank you for your honesty and advice to all women on how to care for our men properly!<br /><br />Cindy</p>
Staff
2013-01-15T22:41:00Z
Make Room for True Friends
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Make-Room-for-True-Friends/-367098188088273395.html
2013-01-15T22:38:00Z
2013-01-15T22:38:00Z
<p>Last year I turned into my husband's superhero. We've been married 18 years and he was diagnosed with depression. Needless to say during his battles to find his inner love there have been many sad times and many amazing times, and throughout it, I've been privileged to be at his side to provide him protection and peace to heal.</p>
<p>Last New Year's, the friends, my hubby has warned me about for many years, knew a little about our struggles and when we declined to attend their New Year's celebration my so-called girlfriend texted showing disrespect to us and our situation. I've assisted her over the years with many issues and did it selflessly. When the chips were down for me (I don't ask for help very often as I'm pretty "sane") she showed her true colors. I didn't fly into a rage, call my other friends, freak out, become undecided or wail like a two-year-old. I looked at my husband, weighed the 18 years of our marriage verses the 17 years of a friendship and cut her off. She had the opportunity to talk it out, but she didn't take the time, so she's done.</p>
<p>I hope that my experience empowers the many women who call into you that just can't seem to cut out the "nuts" they have attracted to their lives and make room for those friends that truly care.</p>
<p>My decision helped my husband in some very small way and although we have a long way to go, he is relieved I made the decision and he doesn't have to nag me anymore.</p>
<p>Keep up the good work</p>
<p>Donna</p>
Staff
2013-01-15T22:38:00Z
On a Mission to Help New Moms
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/On-a-Mission-to-Help-New-Moms/-31043096208890690.html
2013-01-15T00:18:00Z
2013-01-15T00:18:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My father has been listening to you since I was young. I am now 29, married, and a mom. I grew up riding in the car with my Dad while listening to your program. I overheard a lot of conversations with my mother about said program. And I was there the Christmas morning my father gave my mother a copy of "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands". Unfortunately, the later was not well received.</p>
<p>I am a stay-at-home mom of one daughter. A year ago, when going through the turmoil of failed infertility treatments, trying to conceive again, I found your book, "In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms" in audio book format. I spent the next few days running errands, daughter in tow, listening to your book. The passersby must have thought me insane because I was laughing one moment and crying the next.</p>
<p>I didn't realize you had suffered through infertility, as well. I also didn't know you were a mom of a single child. I was feeling so lost and down because I didn't think I could truly call myself a mom, if I only had one child. I felt like the rest of the world was judging me because my life and parenting was just way too easy. I was, obviously, judging myself as well.</p>
<p>Your book made me realize that what I do, no matter for how many children, is the most important thing for me to be doing. And no matter what the naysayers think, my life and my job of staying at home are the best choices for me and my family.</p>
<p>I have since been on a mission to make all new moms feel the same way. I grew up with a mother who worked constantly. Growing up, I was taught that stay-at-home moms are lazy and not having a lofty career goal was inexcusable. I never realized I could be proud of staying home and taking care of my family. So, I have spread the word with my friends, most of whom are just starting out, that staying home is the best thing for a mother do to.</p>
<p>Since my father retired this past summer, we have spent a lot of time together. We have many discussions about you and your beliefs. He is very proud of the choices I have made to make my husband and daughter a priority.</p>
<p>Thank you for your show, your books, and the confidence you have given me to be proud of my life's work. I'm still dealing with the sadness of not being able to have another child, but I am so proud I am there for the one I have. And my husband couldn't be happier, as well. Thanks!</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Lindsey</p>
Staff
2013-01-15T00:18:00Z
Experiencing the Police in Action
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Experiencing-the-Police-in-Action/-323309644225082824.html
2013-01-15T00:17:00Z
2013-01-15T00:17:00Z
<p>Recently, I took a Citizen's Police Academy class with other citizens of the city I reside in. During the course, I was blessed to be able to see first hand what it is that the police really do and found myself humbled. Sarcastically speaking, I realized that they really do more than harass kids in trucks and mustangs, hang out eating at the local donut shop all day or find ways to ticket people for seemingly minor issues (I'm just joking here, but you get the gist).</p>
<p>I discovered the job these guys have is really serious and one this mom has been humbled by and grown to appreciate to the point of becoming part of trying to become part of the solution and to encourage others to think about their behavior and to follow suit to become part of the solution. Going on a ride-along (and this is on a night where literally NOTHING happened) showed me just some of the tough things they have to see and do following poor choices people have made. How they are able to emotionally separate themselves from some of the things they experience is nothing short of miraculous and commands respect. It definitely got this gal's attention and I thank them now, contribute and promote rather than criticize, judge and rag. They have a tough job and one that needs to be recognized.</p>
<p>Danielle</p>
Staff
2013-01-15T00:17:00Z
Why Men Shut Down
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Men-Shut-Down/-817508533457971368.html
2013-01-12T00:07:00Z
2013-01-12T00:07:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>You asked today, "What are some things women do that automatically make their boyfriends and spouses shut down?" This is an easy one to answer. Men shut down when they have given up.</p>
<p>They give up when their efforts to please are either ignored or trivialized.</p>
<p>They also give up when they are treated as bumbling idiots who have nothing useful to offer.</p>
<p>They give up when they feel used and abused.</p>
<p>I want to say "DUH!" to your question, but then I would be like one of those women.</p>
<p>Furthermore, regarding your introductory scenario in the <a href="https://www.1.dat-e-baseonline.com/front/register.asp?Action=New">Daily Dose</a> of Tom and Lisa:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><em>Meet Tom. Tom is married to Lisa. Lisa is very mad. Why is she mad? Because Tom did something Lisa didn't like. Lisa comes up with about a dozen extremely subtle ways to hint at what Tom did wrong, but Tom, for the life of him, can't figure it out. So, Tom shuts down.</em></p>
</blockquote>
<p>This reminds me of a story my husband told me about how he was treated by such a woman. He, sensing something was wrong, asked her what was bothering her. The reply, "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you."</p>
<p>And he got the silent treatment for days after that. Needless to say, that relationship lasted barely a year.</p>
<p>Loesje</p>
Staff
2013-01-12T00:07:00Z
An App to Propose?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/An-App-to-Propose/380822056801388922.html
2013-01-11T23:55:00Z
2013-01-11T23:55:00Z
<p>I saw the article about having an iPhone app to help you figure out how to propose. One thing the article mentioned was being nervous about it. I dreaded that. Most of the time, I was too nervous to even ask the girl out. So I ended up with a girl who I felt completely comfortable with. I wasn't nervous at all. Ever. Even just before the wedding when my groomsmen left me alone to take their places, I had no cold feet.</p>
<p>It turns out a guy ought to be just a little nervous about the prospect of asking a girl to be his wife. He ought to feel just a little insecure about how she might answer. I should have pushed through it when I met those girls who made me nervous. But that's a lesson learned. I am still married by the way. It has worked out mostly okay. Nobody has a perfect marriage. But I think if I'd pushed through that nervous feeling with one of the girls I met earlier, I might have still been a little (or a lot) more happy with my marriage. I'd have felt more like I got the prize wife I deserved. If proposing is difficult, there might be a good reason for that.</p>
<p>M.</p>
Staff
2013-01-11T23:55:00Z
Random Acts of Kindness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Random-Acts-of-Kindness/576273991928393490.html
2013-01-11T00:27:00Z
2013-01-11T00:27:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>In this increasingly devisive world I had a troublesome December. My wallet was stolen at the grocery store, the customer service reps were so used to crime in the area, they frankly could have cared less. I got the flu and then 6 inches of snow fell on Salt Lake. As I was pulling myself together on a Saturday morning to go shovel the driveway and walks, I saw a little girl not more than 6 with her father going door to door shoveling each house in the neighborhood. It was amazing, they were not neighbors that I knew, I think they were sent by a supernatural power. I will never forget the random act of kindness that was shown to me by these wonderful people. It restored my faith in mankind and couldn't have come at a better time. You ask how children learn to give? Here is your answer: by loving caring parents who give freely of their time.</p>
<p>Linda</p>
Staff
2013-01-11T00:27:00Z
How to Show your Child You Love Him
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-to-Show-your-Child-You-Love-Him/-206210345858887093.html
2013-01-11T00:24:00Z
2013-01-11T00:24:00Z
<p>About 9 months ago, my son and I were having an "animated discussion" about something serious. He had just turned 18. Finally, I said to him that I was sorry he didn't agree with me, but we had to diffuse the situation, so I was going to stop arguing. He cheered and cackled, and laughed. "You mean I won?" I said "NO, it does NOT mean you won." It means that there are times when there is an argument which will never be resolved. The person who is most senior or experienced has the moral obligation to quit, to show the other person that character is more important than carrying on over a matter that really doesn't matter all that much or rather won't in years to come (- a hill of beans, as Bogart said in "African Queen"). My son was silent. He went back up to his bedroom, and the incident seemed forgotten.</p>
<p>A few months later, I heard him explaining the same idea to one of his friends on his phone. I firmly believe that one of the best ways you can show your child you love him is to give him a firm foundation in what is the right thing to do. AND what is right is also what you do yourself.</p>
<p>Can you tell I taught for almost 30 years? My son used to get so mad if I said so!</p>
<p>Anne</p>
Staff
2013-01-11T00:24:00Z
2012 Moment of Joy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/2012-Moment-of-Joy/679858435963054202.html
2013-01-09T23:58:00Z
2013-01-09T23:58:00Z
<p>I did not have to think long about a moment of joy in the past year. I can honestly say that the moment my baby girl was born, healthy, kicking and screaming, was the very first moment of pure joy that I've probably ever felt. Other happy moments in my life (and there have been plenty!) pale in comparison. Remembering the first moment I heard her voice brings tears to my eyes.</p>
<p>Don't get me wrong, there have been many moments in the 9 months since she was born where I have been tired, exasperated, sore, more tired, and wishing my husband had boobs so that he could help with feeding her. However, I am very lucky to be home with her all day, every day, to watch her smile, learn new things, and I am able to respond when she calls out, "MAMAMAMAMA". I have a husband who works hard to provide for us, and it just doesn't get any better than this.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura for giving me and all stay-at-home moms encouragement. I have made myself an "inspiration" quote board, where I have written down some of the things you've said on the air. This way, I can get a little pick me up when I'm feeling overwhelmed or when I feel like I'm wasting my education. Your constant reminders that there is no more important job in the world than being "mommy" always do the trick!</p>
<p>Theresa</p>
<p>P.S. Even after the baby, I can do 10 real pushups...so the new goal has to be 20! Thanks again.</p>
Staff
2013-01-09T23:58:00Z
The Christmas Eve Eel
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Christmas-Eve-Eel/-830349463964603262.html
2013-01-09T23:52:00Z
2013-01-09T23:52:00Z
<p>My husband Jimmy recently passed away. This is in his honor…</p>
<p>Yes, I meant to write "The Christmas Eve Eel", not "The Christmas Eve Elf." I certainly understand your skepticism because eels aren't usually associated with Christmas Eve unless, of course, you grew up in an Italian American family that celebrated Christmas Eve with a seven course fish dinner. Read on...</p>
<p><br />The year was 1974. My then future husband Jimmy had survived his first meeting with my father, a police chief in the town in New Jersey where I was born and raised. But that experience would prove to be a "walk in the park" compared to what he would experience at the first Christmas Eve dinner with my Italian family.</p>
<p><br />We arrived at Aunt Sue's tiny apartment. When the family was gathered around the kitchen table, the seven fish courses were presented. First appeared shrimp cocktail. <br />So far, so good - Who doesn't love shrimp cocktail? There was spaghetti with an olive oil/garlic sauce with anchovies. Spaghetti, well, that was OK, but the anchovies were iffy. But eager to please as my Jimmy was, he tasted the spaghetti, anchovies and all. Following that were smelts, flounder, two different preparations of cod fish, and finally the "piece de resistance", marinated eels.</p>
<p>Try as he might, my poor, sweet, Irish Jimmy, just couldn't bring himself to taste the eel. Come to think of it, neither could I.</p>
<p>The dinner ended and after which we all walked to church and then headed home.</p>
<p>Meanwhile my father was a bit under the weather so did not partake in the festivities that year, but he asked us to bring back a little bit of everything. We prepared the plates to take home to my dad and placed them on the floor of Jimmy's car.</p>
<p>For weeks after that fateful night Jimmy complained about a foul odor emanating from the floor of the car. The source of that odor was none other that the marinade from the Christmas Eve eel.</p>
<p>My dear, precious Jimmy, you don't have to worry about Christmas Eve eel where you are now. You can enjoy your mom's pot roast, my mom's typical Sunday dinner: pasta, "chicken in the oven" and a "nice" salad. Everyday will be a good day to barbeque your prime porterhouse steaks or enjoy one of my special Thanksgiving or chicken parmesan dinners. But no more eels. God would never permit something so malodorous in His heavenly abode.</p>
<p>Dedicated to Jimmy my strong, courageous, loving and loyal husband.</p>
<p>March 5, 1945-December 1, 2012 Rest in peace my "little boy."</p>
Staff
2013-01-09T23:52:00Z
Left Me for another Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Left-Me-for-another-Man/-170387698523513878.html
2013-01-09T00:19:00Z
2013-01-09T00:19:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I was a victim of infidelity two years ago. I worshipped my wife, trusted her implicitly, and believed and loved her throughout our 18 years of marriage.</p>
<p>On 14 March 2011 my "wonderful" wife told me she didn't feel loved (?) and was going to leave me for another man. I was completely devastated. I'm Catholic, and didn't believe in divorce. I believed in our vows promised in front of God, each other, our family and friends. Yet, my wife of 18 years destroyed any faith in marriage I ever had. I felt terribly betrayed, having been by her side through all the deaths in her family, the surgeries on her back, the time she had a terrible infection from the birth of our only son, and the time she almost died from uterine cancer.</p>
<p>Now we are strangers. She married her new man as soon as it was legal to after our divorce became final. I am alone, not wanting to risk another bitter disappointment. I fill my days with community service, and then come home to an empty house. I have removed all reminders of my marriage to my ex, yet the memories are still there: most good, some very bad. I rejoice in my life, but cannot fill the hole my ex left in me.</p>
<p>My parents were married for over 40 years. What happened to the morals and values that were instilled into me, but seem to be lacking in all who I meet? I hope you will read this on your program - maybe it will make others think twice before they abandon their spouse of many years.</p>
<p>Thank You Dr. Laura.</p>
<p>F.</p>
Staff
2013-01-09T00:19:00Z
When a Spouse Cheats
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-a-Spouse-Cheats/-989910453539296671.html
2013-01-09T00:15:00Z
2013-01-09T00:15:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>For me, security comes not from knowing what the other person might do... it comes from knowing completely what you will do.</p>
<p>My husband "cheated" on me, left and married the girl a year later. Of course he denied anything, but I was worried about their relationship for 5 years. All sorts of "proof" and feelings of things that I knew were off. He was so good at turning it back on me and I felt like I was wrong and actually crazy. After he was let go from where he worked, but she was still there, phone calls from the company were still showing on his cell phone record. When I confronted him, he turned it back on me saying how dare I get into his "private" information. My biggest mistake was not having enough respect for myself to draw the line and ask him to leave. We were married for 20 years with 4 children. I was afraid.</p>
<p>I filed for divorce 3 months after he left. That was 10 years ago.</p>
<p>I am now married to an awesome man who I completely trust. His ex-wife cheated on him over and over. He was married for 21 years with 3 children. We both know that if either of us were to cheat, that would be it. The marriage would be done. It is the line of our relationship. We both know it. It is a very strongly marked line.</p>
<p>Thank you for all you do. I have absorbed much of your wisdom and share it with our children.</p>
<p>J.</p>
Staff
2013-01-09T00:15:00Z
Yet Another Child's Response From a Broken Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Yet-Another-Childs-Response-From-a-Broken-Family/445650927800002041.html
2013-01-07T22:32:00Z
2013-01-07T22:32:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>In short, I have a childhood friend who has 3 kids under 7 who chose to leave her husband to pursue her own happiness with a sorority sister's husband. She chose her own happiness to move her kids out of state to be with her now new husband.</p>
<p>The kids are left to travel to see their father during the summer and holidays, and then return to a new state to live with her and attend their new "unfamiliar life and school.</p>
<p>Here is a short and (not so sweet) comment she stated on Facebook today which only proves your point on what happens when you break up the family for your own happiness and not think about the consequences your children will face:</p>
<p>"Tough night. Kids came home and are really torn up about leaving their Daddy. He's the fun, cool dad and I'm the one they have most of the time. I'm the bad guy. Breaks my heart to see them struggle. :("</p>
<p>Sorry former childhood friend but you <em><strong>ARE</strong></em> the bad guy and shame on you for putting your kids through this.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for helping us do the right thing and being strong enough to be the voice in stating your opinions that many are thinking but are too afraid to say.</p>
<p>Paula</p>
Staff
2013-01-07T22:32:00Z
From One Guy to Another
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/From-One-Guy-to-Another/-166688785555282873.html
2013-01-07T22:30:00Z
2013-01-07T22:30:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>A little praise for Jake who's getting back on the dating scene after taking care of ill family members. (I'm in my 40's and in the same boat.)</p>
<p>You've got a guy here who's given up a good chunk of his life and proved himself a responsible adult, a guy who's less likely to walk out on a wife if she gets sick! That's big! It's one of the biggest concerns many young women have when it comes to marriage!</p>
<p>I've been in church singles groups for more years than I care to think about and unfortunately there are reasons why so many are still single and single AGAIN! The biggest of which is immaturity. Men and women in their 20's, 30's 40's and even their 50's who still behave like high schoolers.</p>
<p>Jake, Dr Laura's advice is right on, it's not all on your end. Find a woman who will admire you for w ho you are! And find a good church. You'll find there are good ones as well as bad ones, and then there are some great ones! (Just like many of the women you are going to meet.) Don't settle for less than you deserve, or have earned either!</p>
<p>As you start your search for a great church I will leave you these words from Jesus Himself, "Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'" (Matt 25:37-40)</p>
<p>Gus</p>
Staff
2013-01-07T22:30:00Z
Celebrating Christmas Eve or Christmas Day
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Celebrating-Christmas-Eve-or-Christmas-Day/609704459495509951.html
2012-12-21T19:44:00Z
2012-12-21T19:44:00Z
<p>It was December 23rd, 1954. We had just arrived in Santa Ana, California, after spending a year living in "West" Germany, as refugees from what was then, "East" Germany. I was barely 9 years old, but I remember it very clearly. My dad spoke English; my mom and I didn't.</p>
<p>We arrived at my aunt and uncle's apartment, with just a couple of suitcases. We had no money, job, or place to live, yet. We had just been aboard a greyhound bus from New York to California. I was carsick the whole 3 days and never saw any of our new country. I wanted to celebrate on Christmas Eve, as was the tradition in Germany. However, my aunt insisted we celebrate on the 25th. She said, "You're in America now." She even bought me a new red dress for the occasion. So we celebrated on the 25th. It was the first time my mom and her brothers were together in almost 10 years.</p>
<p>That was the only time we celebrated on the 25th. It just didn't seem like Christmas, so ever since, we celebrate on Christmas Eve.</p>
<p>Claudia</p>
Staff
2012-12-21T19:44:00Z
Small Things Keep Me in Shape
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Small-Things-Keep-Me-in-Shape/445765854381834971.html
2012-12-21T19:41:00Z
2012-12-21T19:41:00Z
<p>I take every opportunity to move my body. I never ask someone to bring me something like the TV remote. I collect water in my shower and after dish rinsing, and take that out to the garden. I started this after a drought several years ago and I'm still doing it. My arms look marvelous. I clean floors on my hands and knees. Always wondered why we advertise that we should clean without bending over. How frail are we?</p>
<p>I am 54 years old and in perfect health and I have been the same weight (105lbs) since I was 14 years old. I don't have to belong to a gym and my house is really clean. Once I took a weekly newspaper route in my neighborhood because I walked it everyday anyway. At the end of the year I had $500 in my pocket and great legs.</p>
<p>Karen</p>
Staff
2012-12-21T19:41:00Z
Yes Nick, There Really is a Santa Claus
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Yes-Nick,-There-Really-is-a-Santa-Claus/307068027771288693.html
2012-12-20T18:05:00Z
2012-12-20T18:05:00Z
<p>When my son, Nick was in 3rd grade as usual we spent Christmas Eve visiting at my in-laws. All the local family was there for the evening. My sister, Lynne, was expected to arrive at my house on Christmas morning, but instead she came that night. While we were visiting the in-laws, she put all the gifts out, filled the stockings and ate the cookies for Santa. She even spread a little soot by the fireplace and wrote "Thank you" on the note next to the cookies.</p>
<p>When we came home the look on my son's face was priceless, he thought he knew that Santa was not real, but who put all the presents out? Who filled the stockings and ate the cookies? He believed for one more year and since my daughter was in 1st grade this was a good thing.</p>
<p>We still talk about that night. Nick is 25 now.</p>
<p>Julie</p>
Staff
2012-12-20T18:05:00Z
Strangers Became Family This Christmas
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Strangers-Became-Family-This-Christmas/277437238318367176.html
2012-12-20T18:00:00Z
2012-12-20T18:00:00Z
<p>After we were first married, we moved about 300 miles away to New Mexico. On Christmas Eve, my wife and I started to drive back to stay with her (not-so-nice) parents over the holidays. There was snow on the ground, so I stopped in Santa Fe to change to my snow tires. Upon leaving, I spun out on the freeway exit and had to wait for a tow truck to pull us out of the snow. So we were late getting to the mountain pass that separates New Mexico from Colorado. By the time we arrived, a full blizzard was in effect. We went over Raton Pass using the Braille method (as my wife put it.)</p>
<p>Once over the pass, we made the decision to continue, even though the blizzard was now more intense (70 MPH winds); she desperately wanted to be at her parent's house for Christmas. At Walsenburg, CO, we finally pulled off the road because we couldn't see to drive. The state police came by because the road was now closed and led us off the freeway to a small diner.</p>
<p>About 14 of us were there in the diner, snowed in, with no place to go, but we were all safe. The owners of the diner opened their hearts to us to help. We called our loved ones on the diner phone, talked, played games, swapped stories, and had a great time with all the stranded people who we did not even know. Christmas Eve night, we slept on the uncomfortable red plastic diner seats.</p>
<p>In the morning the road was open, so we continued on to my in-laws house. When we arrived, they asked us what took us so long; they had already had their Christmas without us. We sat there and opened our presents with no one around. To this day, I contrast the great time we had at the diner to the lousy time we had with her parents. God was really taking care of us that year and gave us a great Christmas with people that cared for us.</p>
<p>Tim</p>
Staff
2012-12-20T18:00:00Z
The Christmas I Grew Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Christmas-I-Grew-Up/951762263440251138.html
2012-12-19T14:51:00Z
2012-12-19T14:51:00Z
<p>The Christmas of 1964 comes close to bringing tears to my eyes even today. We only got presents twice a year: birthday and Christmas. We each got three presents. Often what we got was clearly a cheaper version of what we wanted, but imagination made up the difference.</p>
<p>But the Christmas of 1964 we only got one present each--and it wasn't even close to anything we wanted. I wanted toy soldiers or something military or space. I opened my one present and it was a red bull-dozer. My younger sister expressed disappointment when she saw what little she got. I would have, too--but in that instant I caught myself. In that instant I realized how very, very tight money must be for our folks if this was all they could afford to give us. Suddenly I knew how very, very important it was for me to smile and thank them.</p>
<p>I made it a point to be seen playing with that red bull-dozer often over the next couple of weeks. It was a toy I would hardly ever have picked up, but I knew it was very important Mom and Dad know their sacrifice that year had not been in vain. I believe I succeeded in doing what few children ever do: I pulled one over on Mom and Dad.</p>
<p>Mom passed away the next year and Dad a few years ago. I never told them. They never knew I crossed an important threshold in growing up that year.</p>
<p>Allen</p>
Staff
2012-12-19T14:51:00Z
Winning People Over
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Winning-People-Over/328127440243699654.html
2012-12-19T14:44:00Z
2012-12-19T14:44:00Z
<p>One of my golden rules is to settle (within my mind) negative situations and interactions, and agree/disappointment within 4 days (one day just to be mad, if needed, and then 3 days to address and settle the situation.) Then I learn and adjust from the interaction (situation), and then forget my disappointment and anger.</p>
<p>Add this with principals learned on how to interact with people, each person has what works and does not work.</p>
<p>A great book, time proven (initially written in 1939) by Dale Carnegie, is: "How to Win Friends and Influence People" which has lots of tools, However, one of the main ideas is usually the most powerful to tailor your actions:</p>
<p>The other person wants to feel important!</p>
<p>IF you keep that in mind as what the other person ultimate wants, you can usually find a common ground, if you can forgive.</p>
<p>I love your show: I listen to your podcasts and you have given me tools, and thoughts of resolution of my own emotional concerns - (mother issues, empty nest issues, and redevelop my relationship with my husband as an empty nester. Thank you.</p>
<p>I appreciate your work and effort!</p>
<p>Wendy</p>
Staff
2012-12-19T14:44:00Z
Perspective is Powerful
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Perspective-is-Powerful/787211201280369167.html
2012-12-18T14:11:00Z
2012-12-18T14:11:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>As a long time listener, I have heard you mention time and again the power of perspective but I did not truly get it until today.</p>
<p>We lost my 10 year old son for about a half an hour this weekend at our town's crowded Christmas tree lighting ceremony. I have never been so terrified and heartsick in my life!</p>
<p>As I was folding the family laundry this morning, I thought to myself how thankful I was to be folding his pajamas because that meant he slept home last night safe and sound. I will never complain about doing laundry again because I got a glimpse this weekend into a life without having to do his laundry and it was beyond devastating.</p>
<p>I am writing this email as I am waiting home for a friend to come over who lost her house in a fire last week so I can do her laundry and help her with her Christmas cards.</p>
<p>I no longer have the urge to complain about the "chore" of getting the house decorated for Christmas. I will no longer complain about the piles of pictures I have that need organizing into photo albums. Perspective is powerful. Perspective is everything.</p>
<p>Thank you for all you do,</p>
<p>Ariana</p>
Staff
2012-12-18T14:11:00Z
My Replacement Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Replacement-Mom/-950649747942219209.html
2012-12-18T14:08:00Z
2012-12-18T14:08:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Thank you for being there for all of us who listen.<br /> <br />Ever since I lost my Mom to ovarian Cancer 3 years ago, I've felt a sense of loss of not having a mom, and a couple of weeks ago while listening to you on SiriusXM, I realized you had become my "mom", and that you were providing some things that I miss the most about my Mom.</p>
<p>You tell it like it is to people, my Mom used to do that to me, she would listen very patiently to me go on and on about what ever thing was bugging me, and then she would say, "So what are you going to do about it?" That would make me think and usually I could figure out the way to fix it.</p>
<p>Nine months after my mom died, my sister died of lung cancer. I realize then I had lost the women in my life who meant the most to me, and though I still have my great two younger brothers, it's just not the same as my Mom and sister.</p>
<p>But when I listen to you, it makes me feel like someone cares for me. Although I don't agree with you on every aspect of life, overall you have taught me so many wonderful things and you are there to help.</p>
<p>Thank you for being there for me.</p>
<p>Also, I show and train Dobermans and have worked with Ridgies too, so I love to hear about your dogs, since I agree with your advice and methods of training with them as well. Thank you, for being there, because I know I'm not alone when I listen to you.</p>
<p>Take care,</p>
<p>Gwen</p>
Staff
2012-12-18T14:08:00Z
Staying Married Forever
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Staying-Married-Forever/-269607516544759035.html
2012-12-17T20:59:00Z
2012-12-17T20:59:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura.</p>
<p>I recently hosted a book study on "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands," for a mom's group that I facilitate. I was surprised at how well the book was received and how many of the women had never encountered such practical advice about marriage and how to treat their husbands.</p>
<p>Recently, I read an article <a href="http://www.danoah.com/2012/10/16-ways-i-blew-my-marriage.html" target="_blank">16 Ways I Blew My Marriage</a> written by a divorced man and I thought I would share it with you. He wrote it for his younger sister when she was about to get married.<br /><br />You can read it here: I love your show. I've been married for 12 years with two small kids. I'm happy to say that - because of you - I'm truly my husband's girlfriend. I take good care of him. Lately, he's had a couple of propositions from women at work. (He's a very good looking man). He's let them know how happily married he is and he's conducted himself with a lot of integrity. I know this is because he remembers that he's got a lot of hot meals and good lovin' at home.</p>
<p>Listening to your show, reading your books and re-reading your books have formed me into a really good wife to my husband.</p>
<p>Thank you so much for being an amazing influence and a voice of truth for me all these years.</p>
<p>Here's to staying married forever . . . .</p>
<p>Amanda</p>
Staff
2012-12-17T20:59:00Z
A Memorable Day
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Memorable-Day/379893080695876391.html
2012-12-17T20:57:00Z
2012-12-17T20:57:00Z
<p>My birthday is on the 13th and I've had more Friday the 13th birthdays than I can remember. But the most memorable was my 16th. It was 1984. I remember so clearly that the movie "Friday the 13th Part IV" came out that day. Most of my friends wanted to go see it, but I am NOT a horror movie fan. The movie "Sixteen Candles" also came out that day, which was much more my speed.</p>
<p>With it being my 16th birthday, I, of course, was ready to get my driver's license. My father actually came to my school at lunchtime, picked me up to take my driver's test, and then brought me back to school. (I passed.) Later that afternoon I was allowed to drive the car completely by myself. It was the most amazing feeling. The rest of the evening was spent going out to dinner with my family and then finally going to see "Sixteen Candles" (which is about a girl whose whole family forgets her 16th birthday).</p>
<p>Elizabeth</p>
Staff
2012-12-17T20:57:00Z
The Wake-Up Call I Needed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Wake-Up-Call-I-Needed/243730969680418787.html
2012-12-14T16:46:00Z
2012-12-14T16:46:00Z
<p>I want to say "Thank you" for taking my call yesterday about the FaceBook friendship between my husband of 44 years and his old "friend." You empowered me to stand up and be the wife-girlfriend that MY man would ALWAYS want. You asked me if I was afraid I could not "keep my man" I said "No." Well after rethinking it, I am going to say, "Yes, I WAS." But you help me come back to reality.</p>
<p>In the past 10 years there have been a lot of losses in our lives: we lost our 22-year-old son, I almost lost my husband to a very serious illness, then I had 2 accidents that took me out of commission for a while. All of these things put our relationship on the back burner - we were just to "busy trying to survive". My heart and feelings just felt dead, without me even knowing it.</p>
<p>This has been the wake-up call that I needed. We have started to talk (like never before) about issues and feelings that have plagued our lives and affected our marriage for years. As a result, I now have a brand new love and respect for the man who I gave my life to 44 years ago on Dec 28th.</p>
<p>Thank you for all you do.</p>
<p>Merry Christmas,</p>
<p>Linda</p>
Staff
2012-12-14T16:46:00Z
Teaching Students Today
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teaching-Students-Today/-554790151725065726.html
2012-12-14T16:43:00Z
2012-12-14T16:43:00Z
<p>I started teaching in the late 60s. Students had the core subjects (English, social studies, science and math) when I first started. Electives were band and chorus. Other courses offered with some degree of required were agriculture, home economics, P.E., business courses of typing, shorthand, and accounting.</p>
<p>Today starting in the lower grades, students have required core classes AND required keyboarding, careers, shop, music, art, gym. Their only electives are band and chorus. We are asking the students to chop their day up into such small pieces that it is impossible for a teacher to reach the students and hold their attention for 30-45 minutes. I felt more and more time being taken away. I was diligent in helping the students, but less and less time was the norm.</p>
<p>I retired after 30 years because the teachers were required to do more and more with less and less time. Give the teachers back enough time to do their jobs. Our students are hurting because of it. Also untie the teachers' hands in discipline and value topics. In my latter days in the classroom, I could not do anything in even the "teachable" moments of the day.</p>
<p>Bring back the 60s!!!</p>
<p>Fran</p>
Staff
2012-12-14T16:43:00Z
Hard Work Makes the Success Special
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hard-Work-Makes-the-Success-Special/-962420869585747162.html
2012-12-13T21:10:00Z
2012-12-13T21:10:00Z
<p>I just heard a caller talk about not able to control their eating habits... Currently I am on a journey to lose 190 lbs after 23 years of nothing more than terrible choices! On November 22, 2009, at the age of 23, I decided it was time for me to get in shape, to stop eating myself into oblivion, and get healthy! To date I have lost 130 lbs, competed in numerous running events (warrior dash, neon splash dash, color,) play for a local soccer team, eat completely different, and plan on continuing to lose until I am healthy and happy.</p>
<p>The hardest part of this entire ordeal was deciding to "do the right thing!" They always say that weight loss and fitness is 30% exercise and 70% diet but it is also 100% mental! Losing weight and making life changes are hard and the hard work it takes is something that makes the success special! I am a true believer that the easy way usually is the wrong way!</p>
<p>I have been listening to you since I was a very young guy! Thank you Dr Laura for always helping keep my mental game strong, and encouraging me to do the right thing!</p>
<p>James</p>
Staff
2012-12-13T21:10:00Z
His First Time in Martial Arts
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/His-First-Time-in-Martial-Arts/351118196382683674.html
2012-12-13T21:08:00Z
2012-12-13T21:08:00Z
<p>I hear you talking about putting kids in martial arts... so I decided to put my almost 4-year-old boy into "Kendo." Today was his first class.</p>
<p>Here was the <strong>best part</strong>: Although he was the youngest in the class, he kept up with the other kids. <br /><strong><br />Worst part</strong>: watching him be out of his comfort zone since he is the only kid that doesn't speak Japanese. <br /><strong><br />Funniest part:</strong> when he picked up the Shinai (bamboo stick that represents a sword) for the first time and held it like a rifle.</p>
<p>I'm so very proud of my little boy for trying something new. I know it's going to be great for him.</p>
<p>Thanks so much for your support for us stay-at-home moms.</p>
<p>Nicole</p>
Staff
2012-12-13T21:08:00Z
Things Kids Loved Most about their Mothers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Things-Kids-Loved-Most-about-their-Mothers/831236743150359286.html
2012-12-12T21:30:00Z
2012-12-12T21:30:00Z
<p>Saw this and thought you might enjoy sharing it with your listeners.</p>
<p>Thanks for all you do for marriages, kids, and families! - Lisa</p>
<p>Here is a <a href="http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/the-top-10-things-children-really-want-their-parents-to-do-with-them.html" target="_blank">list</a> of the top ten things students around the world said they remembered and loved most about their mothers.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">1. Come into my bedroom at night, tuck me in and sing me a song. Also tell me stories about when you were little.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">2. Give me hugs and kisses and sit and talk with me privately.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">3. Spend quality time just with me, not with my brothers and sisters around.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">4. Give me nutritious food so I can grow up healthy.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">5. At dinner, talk about what we could do together on the weekend.<br /> <br />6. At night, talk to me about anything; love, school, family etc.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">7. Let me play outside a lot.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">8. Cuddle under a blanket and watch our favorite TV show together.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">9. Discipline me. It makes me feel like you care.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">10. Leave special messages in my desk or lunch bag.</p>
<p>Children are incredibly wise and tend to see the world more simply than we do. Perhaps it is time we start taking their advice. Maybe we would all feel a little less stressed and be satisfied with the fact that doing little things really is... good enough.</p>
Staff
2012-12-12T21:30:00Z
True Heroism
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/True-Heroism/15842326112819338.html
2012-12-12T21:25:00Z
2012-12-12T21:25:00Z
<p>I just wanted you to know that I used your blog <a href="/b/What-Makes-Someone-a-Hero/956943440583420264.html">"What Makes Someone A Hero?"</a> in my freshman composition classes that I teach. It was a great example of persuasion, had a strong thesis, knockout examples (examples of what a hero is not, followed by examples of what a hero is), examples from personal experience as well as the wider world, and a strong conclusion.</p>
<p>A football player who responded "She crazy" had to back up his argument (or at least make an attempt), and soon realized that your attack was not against ball playing but against the use of a specific term in certain ways. Your defense of a definition was your thesis, and though you used controversial examples (like Sully), your reasoning was sound and logical, and we gave you the credit for redefining a word that we use too loosely, and for making us THINK more deeply.</p>
<p>Go Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>Donna</p>
Staff
2012-12-12T21:25:00Z
Losing My Virginity
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Losing-My-Virginity/769148783058834872.html
2012-12-11T22:56:00Z
2012-12-11T22:56:00Z
<p>Dr Laura,</p>
<p>When I was 18, I thought I was "all grown up" and part of the way I wanted to prove it was to have sex and lose my virginity. The first willing contestant I found was a real loser. He was much older than me (26) so of course this stroked my need to feel like an adult. This "man" lied to me about pretty much everything in his life - his age, his child, his tattoo, his country of origin, his other girlfriend... And when the relationship went sour (it didn't take long, only a few months) I was left feeling younger and more vulnerable than ever. I realize now in hindsight how immature my choice was to get naked with this man.</p>
<p>After the "relationship" (if you can even call it that) I spiraled out of control trying to get that feeling I was looking for (an adult relationship that would turn into marriage) by sleeping with every willing male I could find.</p>
<p>My husband of almost 10 years (our anniversary is Dec 21!) waited. He knew better and kept himself for me. I wish someone would have told me how this hurts your future partner and how damaging it is to your marriage. He spent a lot of time when we were dating and first married, trying to figure out how to deal with the fact that other men had been intimate with me. He was jealous and it was the one thing he wanted that I couldn't give him. We made the mistake of not waiting until we were married though too... And it resulted in pregnancy. I thank God EVERY DAY that this happened with my MAN because it (or disease) could have happened with any of the other number of men I threw myself at. Media tells us that sex has no lasting consequences unless you get pregnant or a disease... But sometimes the lasting emotional effects are just as bad.</p>
<p>Signed, a regretful My (4) Kids Mom,<br /> <br />J</p>
Staff
2012-12-11T22:56:00Z
The Awesome Power of One Wife's Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Awesome-Power-of-One-Wifes-Love/377295175115098255.html
2012-12-11T22:53:00Z
2012-12-11T22:53:00Z
<p>This fictional funny story is going around on the Internet and it is unfortunately true for too many husbands...</p>
<p>Scott</p>
<p><br /><strong>The Awesome Power of One Wife's Love</strong></p>
<p>A very old man lay dying in his bed. In death's doorway, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookie wafting up the stairs.</p>
<p>He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands.</p>
<p>With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven.</p>
<p>There, spread out on newspapers on the kitchen table, were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies.</p>
<p>Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?</p>
<p>Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table. The aged and withered hand, shaking, made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when he was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.</p>
<p>"Stay out of those," she said. "They're for the funeral."</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2012-12-11T22:53:00Z
Making a House a Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-a-House-a-Home/484096516207488831.html
2012-12-10T23:33:00Z
2012-12-10T23:33:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>In regards to your recent blog, "<a href="/b/Single-Income-Families-Are-Still-Possible/268320293455421521.html">Single Family Incomes are Still Possible</a>," my family is an exact example of just about everything you talked about. After my husband proposed to me, we began saving every extra penny each of us was making. By our first anniversary, we had saved up enough to purchase a modest size house, with mortgage payments we could afford, even if my husband lost his job and had to work for minimum wage. I worked and saved all of my income for a year before we decided to get pregnant. Fast forward to today: I am a proud and blessed mom of a 2-month-old baby.</p>
<p>It's not only the smart financial decisions people need to make even before marriage, but the mentality that they need to have as well. I am so grateful I was wise enough to marry a real man. Trust me, I've seen examples of all the alternatives to what my life could have been. I've seen people who purchase homes they can barely afford and then stick their kids in day cares to make the payments. I've seen people who somehow justify spending all their time away from their babies - going to school or working full-time so they can give their kids more things. It's a shame in our advanced society that we have lost our value-system.</p>
<p>As for today, my husband and I may not be living in a huge house or taking fancy vacations, but I was there to see my daughter's first smile and I will be there for all of her other firsts.</p>
<p>Thank you for teaching all of us how to make a house a home.</p>
<p>Tova</p>
Staff
2012-12-10T23:33:00Z
Parents and Education
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parents-and-Education/-980048959041951391.html
2012-12-10T23:31:00Z
2012-12-10T23:31:00Z
<p>I admit I was a little upset, the other day, when you spoke about how parents could impact their children's education. You forced me to face my childhood, which I always pretended didn't happen. You also made me think and become grateful for what my parents did do for me, even if they did not know it.</p>
<p>I grew up in the slums, my mother was an alcoholic and spent most of her time in her room. My father was a good man and taught us all he could, but he also had a dream to live on a farm, far from the city, so he worked all of the time. There were four of us children, before we moved to the farm, and Mom insisted on homeschooling us, even though she never wanted to leave her room. She would throw books at us and expect us to read, though at the age of seven I still barely knew the alphabet and let's not even go into math.</p>
<p>By some miracle and with a lot of help from librarians (my siblings and I would escape to the library during the day) I finally did learn to read by the time I was nine. I learned to be very resourceful and I learned how to serve others. I learned to ask the right sort of questions and how to find the right answers. I learned how to love and teach children (I am the oldest of ten children now.) I knew what it was like to starve and so I learned very quickly to make very little go a long way.</p>
<p>Honestly, I may have never learned any of these things much less graduate from Purdue University, if it had not been for the little bits of guidance I did get from my Dad, or from the situations I found myself in, as a child caring for other small children.</p>
<p>I am now very grateful and am finally more at peace.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for all that you do so very well.</p>
<p>A.</p>
Staff
2012-12-10T23:31:00Z
Training for a Marathon Is Like Training for a Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Training-for-a-Marathon-Is-Like-Training-for-a-Marriage/-404554023692280370.html
2012-12-07T23:16:00Z
2012-12-07T23:16:00Z
<p>I've thought for over a week to email you and then my husband brought home 6 red roses tonight and I knew I needed to write you. This is maybe one of five or so times my husband has brought home flowers for me in the 11 years we've been together. We both agree that flowers for Valentine's Day, anniversaries or worse…for "I'm Sorry" is not what we want. We'd rather be kind to each other, each and every day, not on a holiday. A smile grew on my face as I asked, "What are these for?" He replied, "I saw them, thought of you, and thought you should have them."</p>
<p>I've been with my now-husband since I was a teenager. We met in high school, dated for 9 years before finally "tying the knot" and have been married for 2 years. We got many comments throughout the years as to when we would marry and when we would have children. We do not yet have children as we are still planning our future.</p>
<p>I have run marathons and as I was training for my upcoming race, I realized how similar my training is to my relationship. You train and train for a very long time for a culminating event. Our 9 years together before marriage was us training. We talked about important things like finances, children, jobs, places we want to live and who we want to be as people and as parents. We "trained" for our marriage. It isn't always fun to wake up early and get in a quick run but the effort is always worth it and I always smile at the end. It may not always be fun to sit at the golf course and watch my husband hit golf balls, but his happiness of me being there is always priceless - especially when I grew to like the sport and began playing myself.</p>
<p>Training for a marathon isn't just running - it is a way of life. And the training does not end on race day. Training for my marriage has taken years and endless conversations about life and love. The training didn't end on my wedding day. I cherish the days that I learn something new about my husband and know our path may have been a long one, but the road along the path has been paved with commitment, truth, honesty, hard work and a love I can only explain as a favorite song that warms your heart, infiltrates your memory and always makes you smile. I look forward to a lifetime of training with him as our race day is every day and we keep growing, even at our now-comical slow pace.</p>
<p>Shannon</p>
Staff
2012-12-07T23:16:00Z
Christmas Gift Ideas
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Christmas-Gift-Ideas/328016137340647981.html
2012-12-07T23:05:00Z
2012-12-07T23:05:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My husband and I are really trying to give gifts of self this Christmas, partly because we're on a tight budget and partly because it's more in the true spirit of Christmas. I really thought long and hard about what we're going to get our family this year. I thought your readers might like some of these ideas:</p>
<p>For my MIL: Volunteering at a local shop that supports community charities in her name.</p>
<p>FIL: Volunteering at his favorite radio station pledge drive in his name.</p>
<p>Brother 1: His favorite chocolate cake, made into 2 smaller cakes so he can freeze one.</p>
<p>Brother 2: Making homemade spice mixes (taco seasoning, chili seasoning, Italian dressing mix, etc.). He recently went gluten-free and is having trouble finding mixes without wheat.</p>
<p>Sister-in-law: Designing a layout for their wedding album. She doesn't enjoy or have much time for this type of thing (There's 500 photos).</p>
<p>Mom and Dad: Donation to a soup kitchen in their names and also getting all of my stuff out of their basement.</p>
<p>Sister: We're going to get manicures together before Christmas as a gift to one another.</p>
<p>I'm still working on the rest of my list, but this Christmas I feel much more peaceful and happy with gift-giving already.</p>
<p>Happy Holidays to you and all of your listeners!</p>
<p>Laura</p>
Staff
2012-12-07T23:05:00Z
My Fabulous Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Fabulous-Man/-311815575963477425.html
2012-12-06T21:32:00Z
2012-12-06T21:32:00Z
<p>I met my husband in graduate school at a Catholic university. He was a priest and I had been a nun for 11 years. I had left my order of nuns mostly because they were making decisions and altering our lifestyle and mission so markedly that the life we said we were leading was the life we were abandoning. I remember saying to one of the superiors, I feel like the kids I teach and their families are living the true Christian life more than we are in reality.</p>
<p>When we got married 44 year ago, my husband's parents were extremely upset. It was the 60's and nothing gave a Catholic mother more popularity than having a son who was a priest. After she had made some truly hateful phone calls to me, my husband sat down and wrote his parents a letter saying essentially that until they could love me as he loved me, they were not to contact me by any method. It was many months later when his father called my husband, apologized, and asked if they could make plans to come see us. They came, but they did not stay with us. It was a pleasant and polite visit. It took several years for us to build a relationship together. But I will ALWAYS remember how proud I was of my husband standing up for me and being a true man.</p>
<p>Jody</p>
Staff
2012-12-06T21:32:00Z
My Nephew Gets It
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Nephew-Gets-It/-994232648941959283.html
2012-12-06T21:26:00Z
2012-12-06T21:26:00Z
<p>I was visiting my mother recently while my 8-year-old nephew and 6-year-old niece (brother and sister) were also at her house playing. Mother and I were in the living room when the kids came walking in, arguing again as siblings do. My mom asked them what they were fighting about now. My nephew explained they were playing "house" (as husband and wife) and he no longer wanted to play with his sister because (in his words), "she always wants me to tell her that she's pretty, but she never wants to tell me that I'm handsome so I don't want to play!" I about died laughing so hard!!</p>
<p>Pamela</p>
Staff
2012-12-06T21:26:00Z
Career vs. Time at Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Career-vs.-Time-at-Home/928775670089627550.html
2012-12-05T22:55:00Z
2012-12-05T22:55:00Z
<p>Hi Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I really didn't give it much thought but always knew I needed to be home and my family would always come first.</p>
<p>When I got back from Vietnam, I was married and just started in my career as an air conditioning and heating service technician. I was 20 years old at the time.</p>
<p>I married my high school sweetheart who was truly a gift from God. We met her first day of high school. She graduated on a Wednesday, we got married on Saturday and then I went back to Vietnam for the 5 months left on my tour.</p>
<p>We are still married and are working on year 42. We have two adult children and have been blessed with 6 wonderful grandchildren who we are very involved with.</p>
<p>When I was 25, I started my own business (MechanicalAirService.com) and my wife has been a homemaker. When I started my business, a good (older) friend of mine told me to not make the mistake he did by working too much and not being with his family. My family has always come first. I was home almost every night for dinner. We had date nights. We did things as a family. Whenever I traveled for business, my wife and kids came with me. We traveled all over the world with them. My wife and I traded off going to the kid's school functions so one of us at least during the day was with them.</p>
<p>Our kids are now working at taking over my business. It was never my plan and I never discussed business at home or complained about it. Our daughter became a school teacher and our son was in the auto body industry when they approached me about joining the business. Our son-in-law also works in the company. I have been sort of a control freak when it came to the business but I have had no problem staying in the background and letting them lead the company. I have only been at the office about 40 hrs in the last 3 years as I work from home.</p>
<p>I have always believed I can start another company but I only have one chance with my family. We are so happy to have been blessed with the 6 grandchildren, a 12-year-old and 5 granddaughters from 11 to 5 years old. They are each very different and are such a blessing. We have all 6 every other Saturday night so the parents can have a date night. We are also involved with their school stuff and they attend the same church we do.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the good work you do.</p>
<p>Russ</p>
Staff
2012-12-05T22:55:00Z
'Replacing' Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Replacing-Mom/429722085310940704.html
2012-12-05T22:51:00Z
2012-12-05T22:51:00Z
<p>I was just listening to the show and you were talking about how infants need to be home with their moms. I couldn't agree with you more.</p>
<p>I have been in the childcare field for over 14 years and I have never been able to "replace" Mom. I have anywhere from 5-10 children in my room (ages 6 weeks to 5 years). As hard as I try, I cannot give these children the one-on-one attention they deserve. It is so sad when I see a new mom drop off their 6-week-old babies and leave crying. I have to ask is the car payment or credit card payments worth it? I do realize that in some situations people need to work but most of the time it is a choice. I am looking to start a new career as soon as possible so I don't have to witness this sad situation any longer.</p>
<p>Thanks for letting me vent!</p>
<p>M.</p>
Staff
2012-12-05T22:51:00Z
Recognizing The Struggle
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Recognizing-The-Struggle/-386776775884828433.html
2012-12-04T21:13:00Z
2012-12-04T21:13:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>We spoke a few weeks back regarding my wife's mother who hasn't spoken to us since last Christmas because she didn't like the way we split our time up. I mentioned to you I was worried my wife would slip back into old habits and call her mother. You suggested I buy my wife a small trinket and tell her how grateful I was that she was protecting our family.</p>
<p>I bought her an engraved Christmas ornament and she was so happy I recognized her struggle and she said she was so happy to make our family a united front. I secretly felt like a heel not thinking of it on my own, but thanks to you, she thinks I did!</p>
<p>Since all of that, our middle son celebrated his 18th birthday, and my wife's family never even acknowledged it. This definitely opened my wife's eyes to her mother's actual character and value system.</p>
<p>Thanks again for your sneaky plan - it worked wonderfully, and I came out looking like a hero. Have a great holiday season - I know we will!</p>
<p>P.</p>
<p><em>(Don't feel like a heel. You called for an idea and <strong>chose</strong> to take my advice. You didn't have to. So you should not feel like a heel because you didn't think of it on your own. - Dr. Laura)</em></p>
Staff
2012-12-04T21:13:00Z
I No Longer Need You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-No-Longer-Need-You/-604524756423868752.html
2012-12-04T21:11:00Z
2012-12-04T21:11:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am your typical listener. I've listened to you for at least 15 years. You helped me to pick wisely. You helped me to treat kindly. You supported me daily in raising my children as a stay-at-home mom. Like so many of your listeners, I didn't have role models of practical, common sense derived from strength of character. I spent most of my early adulthood analyzing every situation/decision by asking, "What would Dr. Laura do?" Your radio program was instrumental in making me the woman I am today.</p>
<p>I was sorely disappointed when you left mainstream radio for SiriusXM though I understood why completely. I have recently gotten an iPad from my wonderful husband and he was thoughtful enough to download your shows for me and I have started listening again. I am beyond proud and amazed to let you know that I no longer require your voice in my head. I no longer need to ask myself, "What would Dr. Laura do?" Thanks to your years of free, invaluable advice and support I can listen to my own voice now and I instinctually know to "go do the right thing".</p>
<p>I listen to your show and ask the questions before you even get a chance. Now I can listen for entertainment, and Amens rather than, "What would Dr. Laura do?" I am truly eternally grateful and credit my wonderfully fulfilling life to years of hard work on myself at your direction. I pay you the greatest compliment in letting you know I no longer need you.</p>
<p>Signed,</p>
<p>Eternally grateful in Texas</p>
<p>P.S. I saw you at the Women's Expo in Austin a few years ago and I was too shy to go up to you and thank you in person. It's one of the few regrets I have in life. I wasn't quite there yet at that time. Now I would run up and hug you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!</p>
Staff
2012-12-04T21:11:00Z
Drug Addiction
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Drug-Addiction/-735622022731333657.html
2012-12-03T21:53:00Z
2012-12-03T21:53:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I listen to you everyday in my car. I came across this story which I sent to my son who responded saying that for him to get better he had to "leave" family and friends. At the end of this story I posted his remarks, feel free to read them! Here's the story.....</p>
<blockquote>
<p>HELLO, my name is DRUGS - I destroy homes, tear families apart, take your children, and that's just the start. I'm more costly than diamonds, more costly than gold, the sorrow I bring is a sight to behold. And if u need me, remember I'm easily found, I live all around you, in schools and in town. I live with the rich, I live with the poor, I live down the street, and maybe next door. <br /><br />My power is awesome; try me you'll see, but if you do, you may NEVER break free. Just try me once and I might let you go, but try me twice, and I'll own your soul. When I possess you, you'll steal and you'll lie. You do what you have to just to get high. The crimes you'll commit, for my narcotic charms will be worth the pleasure you'll feel in my arms. <br /><br />You'll lie to your mother; you'll steal from your dad. When you see their tears, you should feel sad. But you'll forget your morals and how you were raised, I'll be your conscience, I'll teach you my ways. I take kids from parents, and parents from kids, I turn people from God, and separate friends. <br /><br />I'll take everything from you, your looks and your pride; I'll be with you always, right by your side. You'll give up everything... your family, your home... your friends, your money, then you'll be alone. I'll take and take, till you have nothing more to give. When I'm finished with you you'll be lucky to live. <br /><br />If you try me be warned this is no game. If given the chance, I'll drive you insane. I'll ravish your body; I'll control your mind. I'll own you completely; your soul will be mine. The nightmares I'll give you while lying in bed, the voices you'll hear from inside your head, the sweats, the shakes, the visions you'll see; I want you to know, these are all gifts from me.<br /><br />But then it's too late, and you'll know in your heart, that you are mine, and we shall not part. You'll regret that you tried me, they always do, but you came to me, not I to you. You knew this would happen. Many times you were told, but you challenged my power, and chose to be bold. You could have said no, and just walked away. If you could live that day over, now what would you say? <br /><br />I'll be your master; you will be my slave, I'll even go with you, when you go to your grave. Now that you have met me, what will you do? Will you try me or not? It's all up to you. I can bring you more misery than words can tell. Come take my hand, LET ME LEAD YOU TO HELL.</p>
</blockquote>
<p><em>Thank you for posting this, Mom. It is inspiring to tell the story of an addict that didn't have to do any crime to feed the addiction and how it spiraled out of control. It took losing friends and family for me to get better, and to get better, I had to leave you all. Hell of a trade off. I love you, Mom.</em></p>
<p>- Debbie</p>
Staff
2012-12-03T21:53:00Z
Moms Not Paying Attention to Their Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Moms-Not-Paying-Attention-to-Their-Kids/-202269504449666351.html
2012-12-03T21:51:00Z
2012-12-03T21:51:00Z
<p>I was getting a manicure and pedicure recently; a luxury I do not often afford myself. While I was in the chair a lady came in with her son. We recognized each other in that we both had kids in the same elementary school. We talked about her son in kindergarten not being in school that day. He was recently diagnosed with asthma and she felt he was coughing and having too many symptoms. So she brought him to her appointment. She was getting a pedicure and her nails filled. As you can imagine it took some time. The boy alternated between the iPad and his DS. He was soon bored and came to stand next to his mom. She was texting and playing with her phone. At one point the boy had taken his mom's drink full of ice water and placed it into a cup holder that was on the chair. He was very proud of this discovery and wanted to share it with his mother. He repeatedly said her name to get her attention. She answered, "What?", but would not look up from her phone. It took him more than 10 tries to get her to finally look over and see what he had done. When she did she was very congratulatory and positive.</p>
<p>It made me think watching from the outside, how many times my kids have to do something to get my attention. From a watcher view, it looked a little pathetic on how many times the poor child tried desperately to get his mom to just "look". I know I could be guilty of similar crimes. I am going take this as a lesson learned and do better.</p>
<p>Robyn</p>
Staff
2012-12-03T21:51:00Z
My Firefighting Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Firefighting-Husband/-287673635568374725.html
2012-11-30T20:21:00Z
2012-11-30T20:21:00Z
<p>My fondest Thanksgiving memory was the year we celebrated together at the fire house. My husband of 26 years is a retired fireman and we have celebrated many holidays at the fire station because he was on duty. One year all the families of the crew at "41" celebrated together at the station. After dinner the wives one by one got to go on a "call". When it was my turn to go, I climbed up on to the fire engine and I put on my head set. I cannot express how exciting it was to see my husband in action on our way to the house of the family in need. I will never forget that night as I watched my husband and the rest of the crew save a man's life.</p>
<p>Julie</p>
Staff
2012-11-30T20:21:00Z
Take the Reigns of Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Take-the-Reigns-of-Life/986368356286852636.html
2012-11-30T20:19:00Z
2012-11-30T20:19:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have been an avid listener of your show since I was a graduate student in a counseling program working as a receptionist in 1999 at a counseling office. While doing what seemed like menial work at the time, it allowed me to be able to listen to your radio show which was a true joy.</p>
<p>At first I found your style with callers to be a bit harsh but now as a therapist in my own practice working with couples I see how your "get real" approach is more effective and impactful. Too often we as providers of service let our patients get off too easy. We need to demonstrate some real "tough love" with people to show they are the TRUE agents of change.</p>
<p>I greatly appreciate your efforts as a therapist, mother, wife and advocate of hard work. Only when we take the reigns of our lives can we make things better. No more blaming others or being victims in life.</p>
<p>With sincere gratitude,</p>
<p>Cathryn</p>
Staff
2012-11-30T20:19:00Z
Schedule Husband and Wife Time Together
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Schedule-Husband-and-Wife-Time-Together/252500016861019496.html
2012-11-29T22:36:00Z
2012-11-29T22:36:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Though it has been 37 and 32 years respectively, since our babies were born, I was intrigued by your comment that some parents find it hard to find time to be intimate after their baby is born.</p>
<p>The key for us (my wife and I have been married 39 years this coming January) was to always have a scheduled time for us to be together. Oh yes, there were a few times when the time had to be moved a little, but overall, it was putting this "time" into our daily schedule that made it work for us.</p>
<p>And too, we always planned a "date night". It wasn't always some place fancy, and maybe just for an hour or so, but it got us away from the baby and their little world for just enough to talk and be together.</p>
<p>Sometimes it wasn't always sex, but simple hand holding and other sexual ways of taking care of each other. The bottom line was we made sure that we were still important to each other.</p>
<p>It worked for us, and like I said we've been married for 39 years. And we're still holding hands and loving each other in all the ways that a married couple should.</p>
<p>Love your wisdom and advice Dr. Laura. THANK YOU for being a voice of logic and reason in a world that often gets off track.</p>
<p>George</p>
Staff
2012-11-29T22:36:00Z
Ten Qualities of a Real Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ten-Qualities-of-a-Real-Man/749407509775357025.html
2012-11-29T22:33:00Z
2012-11-29T22:33:00Z
<p>A real man:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">1. He has a good sense of right and wrong.<br />2. He supports his family financially.<br />3. He cares about his society and raising honest and decent children.<br />4. He is the best provider given the economy and does his best, makes sacrifices when needed.<br />5. He puts his family above his selfish desires.<br />6. He cares about his parents and siblings, keeping relationships open and thoughtful.<br />7. He saves for the future the best he can and plans for emergencies.<br />8. He is the best role model he can be - whether it is driving habits, drinking habits, etc. He sets the standards.<br />9. He attends to business and acts like an adult making difficult choices, if necessary, for the ultimate good of the family unit.<br />10. He lives the life he wishes his children to follow.</p>
<p>Linda</p>
Staff
2012-11-29T22:33:00Z
Post-Baby Intimacy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Post-Baby-Intimacy/560969662367757572.html
2012-11-28T22:36:00Z
2012-11-28T22:36:00Z
<p>I have been happily married for over 25 years now to my best friend and we did struggle with intimacy after both our children. I will admit it was mostly me. Our children are almost exactly two years apart so between breastfeeding, pregnancy and money struggles, (we chose for me to be an at home mom :), I was not always in the best of moods. But we discovered the thing that worked for us!</p>
<p>Date night every Friday night. We couldn't afford to go out and didn't want to leave our kids with a babysitter so we started making "special" Friday night meals which we would eat late after the kids were in bed. We would open some cheap wine, turn on some nice music, light some candles and just talk. It changed everything. We got to "reconnect" with some adult time and it usually lead to intimacy. Not only did it make our Friday nights special...the closeness we experienced started to change how the rest of the week went. We looked forward to our Fridays and what an aphrodisiac that is! Now I admit, some nights the kids did not cooperate but we would laugh and make the best of it.</p>
<p>Our kids are now both in college and we still do Friday night date nights. Sometimes we go out, but we mostly just make a quiet dinner for ourselves. My kids now know not to expect dinner from us on those nights. It worked wonderfully for us and I hope it helps someone else.</p>
<p>Thank you for all your advice. I have never called in but have come to my own conclusions just by asking myself what you would say. :)</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Christine</p>
Staff
2012-11-28T22:36:00Z
Marriage Traditions are Silly After Shacking Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Marriage-Traditions-are-Silly-After-Shacking-Up/-393702404074553454.html
2012-11-28T22:33:00Z
2012-11-28T22:33:00Z
<p>Hi Dr Laura,</p>
<p>Recently, you had a call from a young woman who had a hard time getting her fiancé to help with planning their wedding. You mentioned a tradition that young women don't even think about today which is being carried over the threshold. My 49th anniversary is this month and I can remember very clearly the feeling I had when I carried my wife over the threshold at the Park Sheraton Hotel in New York City in 1963. We were embarking on a new life and it started that night when we consummated our marriage and began sharing toilet paper for the first time.</p>
<p>Shack ups will not have that feeling because they already know each other intimately. So for them, I think the tradition is silly and too late.</p>
<p>From the guy's perspective, weddings are not important after living with a woman. He thinks he does not need a wedding - he's getting everything he wants. Give him sex and a sandwich and he's ready to go. She wants the tradition of walking down the aisle wearing a white virgin gown, which is silly. It is also silly to want to go on a honeymoon when you've been shacking up. Honeymoons are when you learn something new about each other, and the first time you sleep with each other every night. It is highly electric and exciting - this new relationship that is blessed before family and friends. When you have a meal at Momma Leone's while the violins are playing, it is a romantic feeling that shack ups can't possibly have. They've been there and done that and are as familiar as an old pair of shoes.</p>
<p>So what makes these things silly for shack ups - a big wedding, honeymoon, and carrying over the threshold? The day they moved in together removed the value of those traditions. Going through the motions is meaningless. Guys understand that and many guys do not like to do silly things. Make believe is not one of our strengths. Our fantasy is to have a woman in bed with us every night. Once we have that we are settled. Instead of a wife today, we have a sex object as a companion. Who rules?</p>
<p>Stanley</p>
Staff
2012-11-28T22:33:00Z
After Kicking Him to the Curb
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/After-Kicking-Him-to-the-Curb/815595426336684764.html
2012-11-27T23:01:00Z
2012-11-27T23:01:00Z
<p>When my oldest was heading down the slacker path, I booted him out. The rule is: to stay at home after age 18, my kids must either be employed full-time or in school full-time and passing.</p>
<p>My son ran out of money and enlisted in the Marine Corps where he is thriving. He went in as a PFC because of the college credits he got during high school (we homeschooled and he went directly to community college and bypassed high school). He became a Lance Corporal in less than a year. He is ambitious now and working hard for his next rank. His MOS (Military Occupational Specialty) is so difficult that he will train for over two years before he is certified. His high test scores made this possible and he is training in Meteorology/Oceanography forecasting or, in other words, to be a weatherman. Weathermen are embedded anywhere aircraft land.</p>
<p>Kicking him out was extremely difficult, but it was the right thing to do. It is not slacker men who are the problem as much as slacker parents who don't have the guts to do the hard thing. They don't have the faith in their children to know they can make it on their own. My son said I made boot camp easier because the DIs (drill instructors) had nothing on me for being tough. He has already thanked me several times for kicking him out and being tough and he is only 21. He is also stunningly handsome and I could not be more proud.</p>
<p>Liz</p>
Staff
2012-11-27T23:01:00Z
Raising Our Boy into a Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-Our-Boy-into-a-Man/-563987413829831500.html
2012-11-27T22:58:00Z
2012-11-27T22:58:00Z
<p>Just a quick note. Our wonderful, Christian son went to college and graduated. When he finished and got a job we told him to live at home and save his money for a house. We live in CA where it is pricey. We loved having him home and he was always a joy!</p>
<p>Fast forward to this past year. He is now married to a beautiful hard working Christian girl (and no they never shacked-up or had sex before marriage) and owns his own home. He was able to put a large down payment on that house, which is good because he doesn't make huge bucks with what is going on. But they are thrilled and so are we.</p>
<p>I do think it is the responsibility of the parents to tell the kids how it is. It was always: after high school (and we homeschooled the kids) you either get a job or go to school. We would never let them lie around and do nothing like some parents do. They saw us work hard and it was what they knew to do.</p>
<p>Our kids turned out to be hard working wonderful adults who we are very proud of. <br />Parents should not ruin the kids' lives by not expecting them to work hard. We wanted the best for ours and taught them that.</p>
<p>Carol</p>
Staff
2012-11-27T22:58:00Z
My Real Man
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Real-Man/468677848876859689.html
2012-11-26T22:39:00Z
2012-11-26T22:39:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have been married to my husband for 22 years. This morning, we went to walk our dog which we do most days.</p>
<p>When we arrived to where we walk (so my dog can run off-leash with nobody or no other dogs around), my husband got a shovel out of the truck and started walking. I asked him what he was going to do - kill and bury me? LOL. He said, "No", and started clearing a swatch through the tumbleweeds that had grown over the path we were walking on that leads into the open area. For about a quarter mile, I walked behind, watching my rugged, hardworking man shovel and move bushes and weeds so I wouldn't get stickers and scratched walking through there.</p>
<p>It may be a small thing but it was so thoughtful and so sweet of him. This is just one example of many he does for me every day.</p>
<p>I have to say REAL MEN do exist and I am so grateful for mine. Plus, I make sure he knows it.</p>
<p>Keep preaching, teaching and nagging, Dr. Laura. We LOVE YOU!</p>
<p>Janis</p>
Staff
2012-11-26T22:39:00Z
A Calming Effect
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Calming-Effect/129572834658858851.html
2012-11-26T22:37:00Z
2012-11-26T22:37:00Z
<p>I just recently discovered your show on SiriusXM Radio. I used to listen to your program about 10-12 years ago when your program was carried on WLS 890 AM radio out of Chicago. I was about 20 years old at the time and am now 33. I always wanted to share this little story with you.</p>
<p>When I was around 20, I used to work on a large hog farm operation in DeMotte, Indiana. It was a 2,000 sow farm and every week we were farrowing. My job was to unload a room of 36-48 sows, clean the room and pressure wash it to a spotless condition. Then, the following morning I would bring in a new group of sows that were ready to drop babies in the next day or two.</p>
<p>I would have to bring them into the room, load them into their farrowing crates and wash them. The washing process was done by spraying them down with water followed by a spraying of a soapy mix. Then I would take a brush and scrub each hog as clean as I could get them.</p>
<p>Every morning that I did this, I would carry a large boombox into the farrowing house and turn on your radio program! I always tried to time things just right to start the washing at the beginning of your show. Once Dr. Laura was turned on, it would take the room of 36-48 hogs about 10-15 minutes to calm down, relax and at times, many were so calm they would actually go to sleep! YOU made my job easier! <br />I always brought a boombox into the room to listen to your show because I really found the calls very interesting, as well as your brutal answers! The hogs must have found some comfort in your voice because you could take that rowdy room of screaming, unhappy, fat pregnant hogs and turn them into a quiet, relaxed herd of swine in about 15 minutes!</p>
<p>Thanks for reading my story.</p>
<p>Bobby</p>
Staff
2012-11-26T22:37:00Z
Adult Child Living at Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Adult-Child-Living-at-Home/-358999849729162010.html
2012-11-20T22:55:00Z
2012-11-20T22:55:00Z
<p>The worst part about having an adult child living at home is that he brings his childhood patterns with him or instantly falls back into them. You are never just a gracious couple sharing your home while he gets financially solvent, to be appreciated with gratitude for putting yourselves out. You are EVER the parent/ Bad Mommy who (once) said 'no' and now that he is an adult, HE will make his own decisions, thank you.</p>
<p>Variable #1: Because this person lived under your roof for 20 years, he believes it is his home - and it is, in some ways. Variable #2: Because he has not yet fully formed into a mature adult who understands life in all its complexities, he takes things in your home for granted that you have struggled to build. Variable #3: Because you once controlled his every move, and he has not yet realized that his every move impacts others, he will bristle at every reminder of this.</p>
<p>The minute we asked our son to leave (by the end of that weekend), after approximately 8 months back in our house, our relationship changed for the better. His chaos does not impact our lives. He does not constantly chafe at our boundaries. We are not pricked and poked at by his annoying rough edges. HE chooses to come by or not. And he is left dealing with the eddies caused by his own carelessness and unawareness of time, as it should be. And our relationships with him - both my husband's and mine (which I thought was almost irreparable) have improved dramatically.</p>
<p>B.</p>
Staff
2012-11-20T22:55:00Z
They Get Stronger Living on Their Own
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/They-Get-Stronger-Living-on-Their-Own/-917920405577018082.html
2012-11-20T22:53:00Z
2012-11-20T22:53:00Z
<p>The worst thing in my case was loss of time and privacy, which I'd willingly given up throughout their childhood. I desperately want my husband and me to be able to live just as a couple again! This isn't a marriage that was sacrificed to the kids. We still have much in common and spend much time happily together.</p>
<p>My daughter moved back for a while, and she hated the idea she couldn't have her own place. She soon moved away. It's been really rough the last few years during the recession, but she has stayed on her own. She has had some absolutely amazing experiences, from living in the New Mexico desert, swimming in the Rio Grande, doing farm work, and learning that she is really good at political organizing.</p>
<p>Now she has saved enough to travel for about four months or so throughout Europe, an exciting adventure for her. I don't think she would have developed this amount of self-confidence had she just played it safe and lived with us.</p>
<p>She's coming back soon for a visit before leaving the country. I dread her being so far away, but now I trust her to survive, since she's proven that she can.</p>
<p>B.</p>
Staff
2012-11-20T22:53:00Z
Staying Joyful
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Staying-Joyful/-358880755769429936.html
2012-11-19T23:40:00Z
2012-11-19T23:40:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura asked, "What’s your secret for remaining joyful even in the midst of tough times?" Here are a few of your responses...</p>
<p><br /><strong>Cheryl:</strong><br />1) I find if I take a walk, jog, or do some sort of exercise at least 30minutes every day, I feel SO much better about myself and life in general.<br /> <br />2) I go VISIT friends and family who I know love and support me, and make me laugh. There's something about BEING with a close friend or relative who loves you 100% that cannot be replaced with emailing, texting, Facebook, etc.</p>
<p>3) I hug my dog. Dogs are precious creatures and their presence can be so soothing and comforting.</p>
<p>4) I increase my volunteer visits as a CASA (child advocate for abused and neglected kids). Nothing puts life in perspective quite like visiting a child who was given the short stick of life in every possible way and bringing some small happiness to their day...and reminding me that there are SO many more people and children who are going through way worse circumstances than I am.<br /> </p>
<p><strong>Bonnie:</strong><br />I really do believe we make a choice each day about how we approach the day, with a heart of war or a heart of love. I am married for 41 years and have two grown sons, each with lovely families. We have six grandchildren. I am a registered nurse, still working after 40 years, and still finding some little thing to learn each day.</p>
<p>When I wake in the morning these older bones try to start me out in a grumpy frame of mind, but I refuse to relent in and am thankfulness I remain on the caregiver side of healthcare. Perhaps it's the work I do that helps me choose...after all, there are tragic stories too numerous to recall, that bring tears to share. But being able to share kindness and care reminds me of all the gifts I've been given.</p>
<p>It's not an easy choice, the one to keep encouraging and loving and putting one foot in front of the other, and I'm no Pollyanna, but it's the least I feel I can do given the joy I've been blessed with. God Bless this humanity we share.</p>
<p>Thank you for the work you do,. I often try to think what your responses will be to your callers and you should see my smile when I figure out your answer! You are a blessing to so many, thank you!<br /> </p>
<p><strong>Pam:</strong><br />I have a few ways to shift my attitude to gratitude (joy).</p>
<p>1. I start each day thinking of all the things I am thankful for (i.e. thankful for my husband; thankful I have my kids; thankful I was given today because many before me do not have today; thankful I have my 80-year-old mom.)</p>
<p>2. Looking at some old photos always makes me happy and helps me to realize how fast time is going so I need to enjoy each day.</p>
<p>3. I always say if you are feeling down just watch an episode of Jerry Springer or a similar talk show and all of a sudden you realize just how good your life is in comparison.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Mary:</strong><br />Your question about remaining joyful struck a chord in my heart. I had a truly dreadful childhood, complete with incest and neglect. I struggle now with chronic illness due to PTSD and auto-immune issues. And honestly, Dr. Laura, I have never been happier.</p>
<p>I have three vibrant, sparkling children and a husband who is my hero. He holds me in his arms when I struggle with flashbacks, gives me red roses when I am too triggered for sex, and takes my kids to the park so I can rest. We have shared pain been rejected by both of our extended families, and those losses have made us cherish each other more than ever. We have been married eleven years and I could never have imagined how much we would grow to love each other. I am a very happy person each time I ponder on my husband's heroic love and the innocence and independence of my beautiful children. I have seen some of the worst life has to offer and like a glowering sky, it makes the light of goodness shine brighter. There is so much that is good and true and beautiful, so much to be grateful for. And gratitude fills my heart with JOY!</p>
<p><br /><strong>Gretchen:</strong><br />I am still alive, free to pick GREAT friends, and own the best two rescue Dachshunds in the world. What's not to love?</p>
<p><br /><strong>Kim:</strong><br />I am continually reminding myself to find joy in every situation. I have a difficult time with traffic -- everyone else on the road can irritate me to no end -- so I recently made myself a "Find Joy" label for my dashboard. Now when I'm struggling with traffic, I look just below my speedometer for a quick reminder that I need to open my eyes to something good in my current situation. It works.</p>
Staff
2012-11-19T23:40:00Z
Birthday Flowers to Mother-in-Law
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Birthday-Flowers-to-Mother-in-Law/732235729964763295.html
2012-11-19T23:22:00Z
2012-11-19T23:22:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura!<br /><br />I'm not intending this to be an email of the day or anything, but I thought I'd share something with you that you could suggest to listeners to help them strengthen their relationships with their mother-in-laws. My husband and I are very lucky - both of our mom's are sweet and adorable, so this is really no effort on my part... but, today is my husband's birthday, and I thought, wouldn't it be nice to send his Mom flowers? So I did, I ordered a "Congrats on your baby boy" bouquet with a note thanking her for giving birth to who would become my world one day. I think that acknowledging her importance and showing my appreciation for HER on his birthday will make her feel fabulous. <br /><br />Julie</p>
Staff
2012-11-19T23:22:00Z
How to Feel Joy When...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-to-Feel-Joy-When.../39060692668554609.html
2012-11-16T23:39:00Z
2012-11-16T23:39:00Z
<p>Lately I have felt like a lump of coal pushed in from all sides, so much so, I've said, "I'm 'pooping' diamonds." My mom passed in our arms less than 2 weeks ago, my poor dad (married 59 years) is a wreck and needs a lot of help adjusting and lives 5 hours away. The economy continues to crush my own family, so much so, the bills are behind and any extras are out of the question, much less Christmas presents. Oh yes, and carpet beetles (who knew there was such a thing) have invaded my bedroom and closet and are eating our best clothing which we can't afford to replace. My extremely bright pre-med minded and capable daughter is a senior and we are at a loss on how to pay for college.</p>
<p>This is enough to go hide in a hole. I know now why we aren't gifted with crystal balls. We wouldn't get out of bed in the morning.</p>
<p>I've had to do an extreme amount of flipping my point of view around. My mom lived a long 82 years. She showed and taught us much; the biggest being that we were so incredibly loved and worthy of the best of intangibles in life. The second being that, when things go to Hell in a hand basket, you fall together, not apart.</p>
<p>There is a maintenance person at our school who had to take in 5 of her grandchildren, and she needs Christmas more that we ever did. Our efforts however small will be concentrated there instead of on ourselves.</p>
<p>I have a car and gas to go home to help Dad, and he is appreciative. My husband and children have been gentle and kind to me since Mom died, running interference where needed.</p>
<p>My husband continues to interview seriously for jobs (he is self-employed now) and has made great inroads even while running his own business hard. He has even taken a second job to improve things. He is smart, driven, and loves me like mad even after 23 years of marriage.</p>
<p>We have a roof over our heads and have never missed a meal.</p>
<p>I'm in a full scale war with the bugs-- perhaps brought in when I bought some used clothing from a thrift store. (Note to self: next time they go straight to washer or dry cleaners)</p>
<p>I spend much time seeking and applying for college scholarships. Fortunately my child's grades, test scores, activities and inner character will qualify her. A great community college in town is a last resort, and would be fine for freshman courses to transfer elsewhere later.</p>
<p>So, Dr. Laura, I say make a nice ring out of those diamonds.... and, if you have to, even a matching necklace.</p>
<p>Thanks for all you do.<br /> <br />Melanie</p>
Staff
2012-11-16T23:39:00Z
'Ma'am, This is About You'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Maam,-This-is-About-You/-446381465440419578.html
2012-11-16T23:21:00Z
2012-11-16T23:21:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br /> <br />I don't know how many people write to tell you, "You were right. Thank you." I thought you deserved to hear it from me...<br /> <br />I called you last Friday to talk about my mother who is mistreating me. My mother has had two falls; one resulted in needing surgery for a leg/hip. Both times she hit her head badly.<br /> <br />I am her only child ... <br /> <br />She had delirium tremens after the surgery for a few days. The episodes were mostly directed towards me and the doctor treating her. After that, my mother regained most of her head except for one thing/person...me!<br /> <br />The last 14 months my mother has been very nasty with me, but the worst are the accusations of stealing from her, coming in and out of her apartment to take things and bring them back, wanting to have her committed to a mental institution, trying to turn everybody against her...and the list goes on. It is like dealing with the 'Tasmanian devil'...it is pure evil when you are sitting in front of somebody like that.<br /> <br />I have tried each and every way for her to see a doctor to get a scan and treatment. She refuses. She says she controls her life now and nobody will tell her what to do! And she will not let a stupid doctor lock her up because of what I tell him/her.<br /> <br />The laws in Canada state that unless you are a threat to others, you can decide for yourself what to do, even if you are 'sick in the head' (like my grand-father used to say)... I did capture our last meeting via video (spy-pen) to show to the social services and medical teams that she is very ill - mostly with paranoia and hallucinations and living creatively in her 'own world'. They told me the same thing again…unless she seeks testing/treatment, we cannot force her.<br /> <br />You asked me why I thought she was doing this, and I said the last time we saw each other she mentioned we did not have anything in common but her past life (my father and her second husband both passed away in the last two years). So there was no reason to see each other anymore.</p>
<p>You asked with whom she was doing this behavior to. Only me!<br /> <br />You proceeded to tell me my mother knew exactly what she was doing, she is in control and she wants to control me. She decides to control her behavior with others except me. You said I had two choices: never see her again or when she would start up again, to tell her I do not deserve this, I will not take this anymore, kiss her, say goodbye and walk-away. You said she would either continue or 'get it' and stop ...<br /> <br />I asked if it was the same behavior to have with her whether she is nasty or mentally ill and you answered: "Ma'am, this is about you" (and you hung up).<br /> <br />For the next hour of driving during the talk you had on air for 20 min. on the subject of control with children and the elderly, I revised my life... <br /> <br />I realized that for everything I ever did, conversations, arguments etc., I never told her, "That's enough.' I just couldn't believe it...I have with others like my father and ex-husband, but never her...never. <br /> <br />I also realized in the last two years I have been defending myself and trying to convince her I would never do these things to her... that I am a good person... and blah, blah, blah...<br /> <br />Dr. Laura, I could have said these things to her to defend myself and to make her understand once or even twice but I let it go on because I was behaving like a child. I wanted her to know I was a good person, a good daughter and I wanted her to love me. I wanted the last years of her life (she's 89) to be about fixing/recapture lost time so I could have the mother I needed to have and be at peace when she passed away. But this never could have happened, the woman is nowhere to be near able to do this...<br /> <br />She called me three weeks ago for my birthday and to invite me to lunch. I finally called her yesterday. I prepared myself to listen with my ears and not my heart.<br /> <br />Since she said she wanted to see me, I called to set up a visit wanting to know what had changed, and if she still believed what she has been saying to me and the accusations, etc. She tried to wiggle her way out/around in the conversation. She would not answer me after asking her 4 times in different ways... in French and English. She wants me in her life under her terms and the way she wants me there... <br /> <br />It took two seconds for her to start up with more paranoia with things my husband did to her (not true) so I saw this was STILL going on in her head, then proceeded to tell me HOW HAPPY SHE IS, HOW AT PEACE SHE IS, HOW PEOPLE LOVE HER, HOW MANY FRIENDS SHE HAS... and she has sooo many contacts with my half-sister (not true) and then she proceeded to tell me how she made fun of me with the people at the retirement community bldg. using her stealing allegations (cheap jewelry)... Then she started singing on the phone "La la la ... I'm not listening to you." <br /> <br />Then I got it ... Oy Vey! This is not a mother! This is not a person who loves her daughter.<br /> <br />I realized in a 'nano-second' as she was talking to me that this was not new... I had simply overlooked all this 's##t' all my life... She has been talking to me like this throughout my life.<br /> <br />I guess I needed to save at least one relationship with one parent. I had a lousy childhood with a father who was an alcoholic and her second husband was a controller, manipulator and emotional creep. She chose men that were defective.<br /> <br />All these years, I chose to buy peace, buy time and try not to rock the boat the least amount possible - I did not always succeed.<br /> <br />So I heard the mental bell and I said, "Mom STOP" and proceeded telling her what you said and finished with, "Goodbye, Mother."<br /> <br />Now I am a BIG girl...an adult who does not take this from anybody anymore.<br /> <br />I was raised in a guilt environment: blame, hardship she had to endure in her pregnancy and birth, and the life she had with me because I was crippled. All the sacrifices she made for me because my father was an alcoholic. <br /> <br />THE BIG THING I decided to deal with the fact that I experienced 'date-rape' when I was about 20 years old (56 now) from the son/a police officer of a couple she was friends with. When I told her what happened, she responded, "I wasn't there when it happened so I cannot judge." <br /> <br />Then a few years later she started having a social relationship with him and his wife. When I brought up that I was hurt by this and how sick it was, she said, "Well he never did anything bad to me and I wasn't there when it happened." (I can hear you scream, Dr. Laura)<br /> <br />What I cannot wrap my mind around is that I always wanted people to like my mother. I always included her in festivities, everything to make her happy, BUT I don't know why. And I never told the tale of how I was brought up. I guess I was ashamed and did not want her to be a reflection on me. <br /> <br />Yeah, yeah, you can tell me, "What were you thinking woman all these years?" I've been listening to you for at least 15 years. I even test myself answering your callers when I am listening to you on the radio -- so I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER!!!<br /> <br />So it's over. I've decided to clean up my act and move on. I will continue living in the NOW with all the wonderful things I have in my life. I have not felt this good and liberated in years. WOW !<br /> <br />Thanks a whole bunch, Dr. Laura ... Now I know why you hung up on me - I needed to be shaken up instead of the "BUT" I was about to say to you!<br /> <br />You were right and I thank you for that!<br /> <br />A faithful listener,</p>
<p>Carole</p>
Staff
2012-11-16T23:21:00Z
Lagging Libido
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lagging-Libido/-405420181919497063.html
2012-11-15T23:05:00Z
2012-11-15T23:05:00Z
<p>I am fortunate to be a stay at home wife and mom. Because I stay home, I am more lovable and more able to receive love. After a long day, my husband and I take a shower together (which helps put us in the mood) and sometimes we get into our hot tub (if the shower doesn't put us in the mood, the hot tub certainly will).</p>
<p>Ladies listen up! Take the reins into your own hands. When you take the initiative, you are more likely to want to make love. I have tested it myself and it works.</p>
<p>Also, listen to Dr. Laura; she gives great advice on such matters.</p>
<p>Susan</p>
Staff
2012-11-15T23:05:00Z
How I Get My Spouse in the Mood
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Get-My-Spouse-in-the-Mood/366741700530319190.html
2012-11-15T23:03:00Z
2012-11-15T23:03:00Z
<p>I like to make my wife a cup of hot herbal tea, give her a neck and foot rub, then we talk about the day....or whatever is bothering her. After a meal, we both clean things up together, so we can then relax (usually in the bedroom) with a kiss, cuddle, and either a nap, or let nature take its course. This has worked very well for 15+ years now.</p>
<p>By the way, to the guys out there... I give my wife a single rose frequently. This helps to keep the marriage and romance 'alive'. Just a word to the wise. </p>
<p>Blessings,</p>
<p>J.B.</p>
Staff
2012-11-15T23:03:00Z
Texting While Parenting
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Texting-While-Parenting/875222153594694637.html
2012-11-14T21:31:00Z
2012-11-14T21:31:00Z
<p>Recently, Dr. Laura asked you, "What do you think is the worst thing about a parent constantly using their cell phone around their children?" Boy, was this a hot button topic. Here are only a few of the responses:<br /><br /><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Our children are loaned to us for such a short time that I enjoyed every hour I had with mine. I married young, and had my first child at 27, the second at 29. Even then I knew 18 years was not much time. After I lost my husband when they were 4 and 2, I spent every possible minute with them. We cooked together (they stood on stools), we organized the Tupperware cupboards together, we played, we hiked, we swam. My parents scolded me for taking them on my vacations, because according to my parents, I should have been looking for a man. I'm glad I did not take that advice. Even now that they are in their mid-twenties, we talk to each other while together. I taught them that the people they are with, not an electronic device, deserve attention and respect. I do not regret a single minute that I devoted to my children, but I would have regretted wasting that precious time.</p>
<p>Love you,</p>
<p>Ardyth</p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>It robs the children of a mom and dad who are present in the moment. My daughter, a Pediatrician MD., has her phone with her constantly and not just for any emergency on-call situation - she is glued to it. She is texting, taking pictures, playing games, doing something that occupies her thoughts and attention - and the children are following in this example.</p>
<p>When did life become so dull and so meaningless that it needs to be filled, every waking second, with some sort of computerized or mechanical device?</p>
<p>We are robbing our children of their lives.</p>
<p>Linda</p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>I don't have children, but that doesn't mean I don't notice parent/child interactions. Parents who text constantly are ignoring their children's pleas for human interaction. It's a medical fact that human newborns will die without being handled, touched, cuddled and spoken to. When a parent is texting, they are subliminally teaching their children, this is the acceptable way of communication. Without speaking face-to-face, all words and their meanings are lost. Lost is the body language and voice inflection behind the meaning of a conversation. Not to mention, it teaches bad spelling right off the bat!</p>
<p>Lisa</p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I believe that texting while parenting is not a good thing. I see so many parents out there with their face in their phones and not paying attention to their children. The children are trying so hard to get attention and get nothing.</p>
<p>I am so thankful I raised my girls when there were no cell phones! When we were out doing family things there were no interruptions! I was able to enjoy my kids! We have cell phones now to stay in touch as we all live in different states. And when my daughter is out with my grandson, she sends a text to everyone on her list saying, "We are being a family - please do not disturb." She also feels her time with her son is most important! I guess that is how she was raised!</p>
<p>Blessings,</p>
<p>Debbie</p>
<p>P.S. Thank you for all you do</p>
Staff
2012-11-14T21:31:00Z
Moms on Phones While with their Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Moms-on-Phones-While-with-their-Children/-222096859685881909.html
2012-11-14T21:18:00Z
2012-11-14T21:18:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am SO glad you brought this up! I can't tell you how many times I have seen moms on their phones in grocery stores while their children are acting up. I saw a child tip over a cart while standing in it! I have seen children grabbing things off of shelves, and many, many crying children -- The moms were on their phones. The children were either vying for their attention, or needing guidance and all the mom did is squeeze their little arms and yanked them back to their place. As for the one that fell? While the child was crying with the cart on top of him, the mom said, "I TOLD you not to stand up... That's what you get."</p>
<p>The grocery store is like a Geiger counter for moms. It measures their ability to multitask and care for their child at the same time in a public venue. I can only imagine what it's like when they are at home. A mom on the phone has always been a source of competition for children. Any mom can tell you that the minute they pick up the phone, the children start needing them. The fact that the phone is now mobile has made many children feel like they are ALWAYS second in line for attention. These are the parents that are going to complain in 10 years that all their kids do is text and talk on the phone!</p>
<p>When my children were small, I loved going to the grocery store. Having them sit in the cart and face me was a time to talk. As they got older, I would teach them about price comparison. When we passed through the produce aisle, I would teach them about how to choose vegetables and fruits and give them an apple to eat instead of a free cookie at the bakery. This satisfied them so they didn't want cookies and junk.</p>
<p>Come on parents! Life is too short - enjoy every minute with your children.</p>
<p>Danielle</p>
Staff
2012-11-14T21:18:00Z
My Husband Agrees with You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husband-Agrees-with-You/-821720833010728382.html
2012-11-14T00:11:00Z
2012-11-14T00:11:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura -</p>
<p>My mother has listened to you for many years, and I have just recently started listening to your program. My mother introduced me to "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". I read it, loved it, and am currently reading your book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage".</p>
<p>I am 41 years old, and have been married to my husband for 19 years. While I would say that overall my marriage has been a good one (not without some troubles, though) I have to tell you how much your books have opened my eyes as to how to be a better wife and make my husband happier. While your book helped show me things I was doing right as a wife (i.e. not complaining about his time with the boys, like most of my married girlfriends do -- and here I thought I was the outcast!) it also showed me areas where I needed to improve (i.e. learn to be his girlfriend again). He has 2 children from a previous marriage and we have 2 together (3 are young adults now, and the youngest is 16).</p>
<p>I have begun reading some parts of your books to my husband and he is in total agreement with what you have to say. I have yet to read something that he disagrees with. So, I just wanted to send you a BIG THANK YOU because your books have helped me to put my priorities in order.</p>
<p>A new avid listener/fan,</p>
<p>Raquel</p>
Staff
2012-11-14T00:11:00Z
Raising Entitled Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-Entitled-Kids/727102486158224382.html
2012-11-14T00:09:00Z
2012-11-14T00:09:00Z
<p>I think as parents, we've tried to give our kids better than what we think we had, or what we think we missed and should have gotten or needed, but in doing so, we may not have allowed our children to learn lessons in life at a young age through experience, because we protected them too much. The home and society used to be a good trainer for character-building, and everybody's morals and values were pretty much aligned; however, that is not the case anymore. The past few generations of parents have allowed a society that is not so family-valued or spiritual. It's a society focused to dictate what we should all think and expect, and allow it into our home. What is called "going with the flow" is really being wishy-washy and not being accountable for our parenting, as well as not making our kids accountable and responsible for their actions, thoughts and words. Parents need to get a backbone again, to balance real discipline, character-building and strength, tempered with love and compassion. You do your kids a bigger favor to teach them while they're young, and sometimes let the chips fall where they may be in order to learn a lesson, than by always "fixing" their problems and enabling them.</p>
<p>Teresa</p>
Staff
2012-11-14T00:09:00Z
An Indelible Mark on a Child's Heart
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/An-Indelible-Mark-on-a-Childs-Heart/-166613860395805244.html
2012-11-12T23:26:00Z
2012-11-12T23:26:00Z
<p>I can vividly remember the emotions of my favorite birthday, although I cannot recall exactly how old I was when it occurred.</p>
<p>I was young, maybe 11 or 12, and I really, really wanted a Snoopy desk blotter set. I saw it at the local card store when a bunch of us kids rode our bikes into town to buy stickers and such. The big blotter had on either side a puffy area with Snoopy and Woodstock over a faux blue denim background. It also came with a pencil holder. Boy, I wanted that desk blotter set so much!</p>
<p>I was convinced there was no way I was going to get it. I don't know if I was led to believe that because of the cost of it or perhaps that I didn't really have a place of my own to put it - but either which way, I resigned myself to not receiving it.</p>
<p>I remember sitting on the floor in the living room, opening the gift and then bursting into tears. I couldn't believe that my parents bought it for me! (I still well up now thinking about it and I'm 48!)</p>
<p>I don't know why I was so moved - maybe because I knew with four kids and a stay-at-home mom that this gift was "big", maybe because they really heard me and knew that I wanted it, maybe because it made me feel special - I can only speculate all these years later.</p>
<p>That my parents got this gift for me was overwhelming. I have since had many birthdays and received fantastic gifts, I have been very blessed, but ask me what one gift blew me away and it is hands down that Snoopy desk set! It left an indelible mark on my heart.</p>
<p>Thanks again Mom and Dad!</p>
<p>Jody</p>
Staff
2012-11-12T23:26:00Z
Help for Stopping Procrastination
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Help-for-Stopping-Procrastination/778334361116063126.html
2012-11-12T23:24:00Z
2012-11-12T23:24:00Z
<p>My wise, wonderful, loving, but not perfect mother-in-law would have a to-do list. Anything that didn't get done was saved for the next day. Her plan of attack was to do FIRST the chore she dreaded the most. Otherwise, she found herself procrastinating on doing it day after day with a dark cloud, growing daily, still hanging over her. When she did that dreaded chore, usually first thing in the morning, it took the weight of the world off of her shoulders. She was able to take on the rest of the day without batting an eyelash. She could often complete many more items on her to-do list that same day.</p>
<p>I can be the "Queen of Procrastination" when it come to making necessary phone calls or writing notes, especially thank-you notes. The more time that goes by, the guiltier I feel. You can't imagine how good it feels to have those tasks behind when you've completed them.</p>
<p>Barbara</p>
Staff
2012-11-12T23:24:00Z
Tip for When You Just Don't Want to Get Up and Go
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Tip-for-When-You-Just-Dont-Want-to-Get-Up-and-Go/-896962562016687453.html
2012-11-09T23:14:00Z
2012-11-09T23:14:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura:<br /><br />I just listened to your call with Nikki, who has a hard time getting up and going, each day. I'm a stay-at-home-wife, and when my husband was in Iraq and then Afghanistan, I could definitely commiserate with what Nikki is going through now. "Why bother?" Well, I knew I put myself in that rut, and didn't want my little rut to turn into a BIG rut. That's when I accidentally found a simple trick I now use all the time, even though I'm not "in that same place", any longer. Perhaps it might be a help for Nikki and others with the same difficulty [and...perhaps not!].<br /><br />When I get up and get dressed (and that can be the hard part, I know), unless I'm going somewhere right away, I immediately don a big apron - the kind that covers your whole front, and has a bib. It's my "uniform" for work. I don't know if that is it or what (I did wear a "real" uniform for years as an Army Nurse), but when I put it on, I can move mountains! My energy and attitude soar and I have a purpose in life. Even on (those very few) days that I jump out of bed with lots of energy and fly through my projects, if I THEN put on my apron, it's amazing! Projects are completed, our home looks great, there's a yummy dinner cooking, and I still have time to exercise (I'm an afternoon exerciser - works better on my body), take my dogs for an extra-long walk, and do a couple crosswords while listening to a book, before my husband gets home! <br /><br />Anyway, I thought this tip might be an extra "tool" for Nikki, after she's finished exercising with you.<br /><br />Thank you, thank you, thank you, for all you do for America.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Minta</p>
Staff
2012-11-09T23:14:00Z
A Kids' Logic
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Kids-Logic/-608039361129744481.html
2012-11-09T23:11:00Z
2012-11-09T23:11:00Z
<p>I am listening to your podcast for 10/22/12. A caller mentioned that her son asked her to get a man.</p>
<p>It reminded me of when my boys' dad left us for another woman and my headlight on my car broke. I was sitting on the floor in the garage trying to figure out how to take off the light to get the bulb out to replace.</p>
<p>My son, who was 6-years-old at the time, asked, "Why don't you just go buy a man at Wal-mart, so he can fix it?"</p>
<p>It was too funny; that is logic!!</p>
<p>Love learning from you!!</p>
<p>Lisa</p>
Staff
2012-11-09T23:11:00Z
How We Dress our Young Women
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-We-Dress-our-Young-Women/206567826474119347.html
2012-11-08T20:57:00Z
2012-11-08T20:57:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>As I start writing this email, I feel like I'm composing a letter to a lifelong friend because I've been listening to you for so long and you have helped me so much in my life. In fact, I spoke with you a few years ago when you did your Valentine's Day show. I called in to share a story with you about how, after a long race, my husband swam through shark infested waters to bring me a Diet Coke. I first thanked you in that call and said, "Just like the man that tried to save the starfish after a storm, you have picked me up several times and rescued me." It is a perfect analogy for how I feel about you.</p>
<p>Your recent opening on your program about how we dress our young women, made me think a lot. I listened for a long time and felt like I needed to write and share my thoughts. I was raised in a family where morality was taught. It was easy for me to understand the importance of living a moral and virtuous life because my religion gave me and my family guidelines to follow.</p>
<p>Each young man and women in our church is given a booklet called, "For the Strength of Youth." We are all encouraged to read this booklet and live by its guidelines. I would like to share part of it with you so that you can stand taller knowing there is a large army of youth striving daily to live moral and virtuous lives.</p>
<p>It reads:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>"Your body is sacred. Respect it and do not defile it in any way. Through your dress and appearance, you can show that you know how precious your body is. You can show that you are a disciple of Jesus Christ and that you love Him...When you are well groomed and modestly dressed,...you can be a good influence on others. Your dress and grooming influence the way you and others act.</p>
<p>Never lower your standards of dress. Do not use a special occasion as an excuse to be immodest. When you dress immodestly, you send a message that is contrary to your identity as a son or daughter of God. You also send the message that you are using your body to get attention and approval.</p>
<p>...The fashions of the world will change, but God's standards will not change."</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Dr. Laura, thank you for your integrity and for all you do to keep children and families in this world safe.</p>
<p>Thanks again,</p>
<p>Rebecca</p>
Staff
2012-11-08T20:57:00Z
Being a Teacher is NOT More Important than Being a Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-a-Teacher-is-NOT-More-Important-than-Being-a-Mom/-120228275105148024.html
2012-11-08T20:53:00Z
2012-11-08T20:53:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I about chocked on my lunch listening to the conversation you had with a young teacher who had her 3-year-old daughter incarcerated in day care 40 hours a week. So many times I have heard those same lame excuses given by other non-involved parents, mostly in counseling sessions of their - now teenagers, who have gone AWOL because of lack of parenting.</p>
<p>I can share my expert opinion as a mom of four sons (in their 20's now). While we "stay at home moms" may have loved some of our children's teachers, we also shook our heads in disgust at those same teachers. That other people's kids and their own "feelings" of importance was worth the sacrifice of the child they are suppose to love and protect...not to mention the pity we felt for their kids. This is not what I would call admiration.</p>
<p>The female caller's self-affirmation is way off base and sadly mistaken, such a waste of her one opportunity to do something truly important.</p>
<p>God bless you and your gift for sharing the truth with others Dr. Laura! (Whether or not they want to hear it.)</p>
<p>Deb</p>
Staff
2012-11-08T20:53:00Z
The Good and Bad of Pumpkin Seeds
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Good-and-Bad-of-Pumpkin-Seeds/-813022157921914487.html
2012-11-07T23:03:00Z
2012-11-07T23:03:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am an avid listener to your program and respect all of the advice you have to offer. I was listening to your podcast from October 24th, 2012 and your opening commentary was regarding "How to Curb your Cravings'. You made a comment saying "no one craves pumpkin seeds", in which I assume implies that pumpkin seeds are healthy.</p>
<p>I must be one of the few people who crave pumpkin seeds (haha I shouldn't admit that) but I would like your listeners to know that this is not necessarily a good food option. I don't drink, smoke or use any type of drugs. I exercise daily and take care of the body I have been given.</p>
<p>When I discovered pumpkin seeds I was immediately hooked by all of the nutrition they had to offer me (plus they taste soooo good). It is very true pumpkin seeds contain very high levels of necessary nutrients including phosphorus, magnesium, manganese, iron, copper, vitamin K, L-tryptophan (known for promoting good sleep and lowering depression), zinc, vitamin E and B vitamins (and the list goes on).</p>
<p>I enjoyed this health miracle as my "snack" for 3 straight months. Low and behold, the pounds started adding up. I did some extra research on my snack of choice and this is what I found: A tablespoon serving (about 5 or 6 seeds) contains 19% daily value of fat (12% daily saturated fat) and 57 calories per serving.</p>
<p>Eating 5 pumpkin seeds hardly seems like a "snack" to me. I was downing at least 30 seeds a day which at minimal equates to about 350 calories per day.</p>
<p>Long story short, throw a few seeds in your salad for optimal health benefits, but by no means call them a healthy snacking option.</p>
<p>Dr. Laura, thank you for being the mother I never had.</p>
<p>Xoxo,</p>
<p>Kat</p>
Staff
2012-11-07T23:03:00Z
A False Sense of Security
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-False-Sense-of-Security/418003022073200580.html
2012-11-07T22:43:00Z
2012-11-07T22:43:00Z
<p>One experience I'll never forget and hope to never top was the night I thwarted a kidnapper from taking me into his vehicle by having my 75 pound pit bull stand guard next to me - and maybe an unforeseen angel or two by my side.</p>
<p>My dog saved my life when I was all alone and tried to help a man whose car broke down near my house. Yes, he came to my door with a sob story and seemed so clean cut. I know this was a stupid thing to do, but I called AAA for him and went outside to tell him the tow truck was on the way. It's then I realized he had other plans for me, particularly when I saw there was no license plate on his vehicle. But once he saw my big dog that changed everything.</p>
<p>Even to this day I worry that he will come back as the Sheriff said the man followed me home and knew I was alone. Now, I never go any place without my big dogs and forever look over my shoulder. I think woman have a false sense of security in our society - we are not equal to men, they overpower women, even those who believe they are in good shape. If you must err, err on the side of caution, and leave the helping hands to men who can take care of themselves. Thank God my son bought me that Pitty.</p>
<p>That is a night I will never forget - thank God, God made dogs.</p>
<p>Linda</p>
Staff
2012-11-07T22:43:00Z
My Young Daughter's Perspective
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Young-Daughters-Perspective/19173277450697667.html
2012-11-06T23:45:00Z
2012-11-06T23:45:00Z
<p>Yesterday, I was sitting on the bed reading something and my 3-year-old daughter sat down beside me with a book of her own, probably hoping I would read it to her (for the third or fourth time). Her book was about Johnny Appleseed and there was one illustration in which Johnny was splitting wood with an ax in his bare feet. One foot looked like it was perilously close to the log he was cutting. She pointed it out to me and asked if Johnny was going to cut his foot. I said "It looks like it, but no, I don't think so. I think he'll move it in time." I went back to reading my own stuff and a few moments later she asked me the same question. I gave a similar response and continued reading. Then I heard the sound of tearing paper and looked over to find that she had torn several pages right out of the book. I said, "YOU RIPPED THE BOOK!"</p>
<p>She responded indignantly, "HE WAS GOING TO CUT HIS FOOT!"</p>
<p>I about died laughing. She was not amused.</p>
<p>Michael</p>
Staff
2012-11-06T23:45:00Z
Duty and Service to Others Has a Price
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Duty-and-Service-to-Others-Has-a-Price/-170337396651951644.html
2012-11-06T23:40:00Z
2012-11-06T23:40:00Z
<p>Responding to the letter, "<a href="/b/From-the-Wife-of-a-Veteran/-55519784218553011.html">From the Wife of a Veteran</a>"... <br /><br />PTSD is nothing to be afraid of. It's no joy either. I have learned from personal experience as one whose duty and service has taken me to hostile parts of the world, years as a paramedic in various ghettos, and 27 years of various law enforcement duties; that there are issues that pop up their ugly heads when least expected. To have loving understanding people around you helps immensely.</p>
<p>I have learned these ghosts never go away, but there are ways to learn to live with them. I found these things pop up sometimes when alone, or something is viewed on television, or something comes up in a conversation, etc. Sometimes talking about the incident/s has a tendency to open up on old wounds. Out of no where you want to cry. The best thing is to cry and get it over with and move on. Do something with a friend to emotionally side track you. I went to a training recently on Handling Extreme Emotional Incidents. It opened up a can of worms and my wife made it very plain, I was not to attend anymore of these trainings. She was right. Like I said you lean on love and learn to deal with it. Duty and service to others unfortunately has a price. But someone has to do it.</p>
<p>Frank</p>
Staff
2012-11-06T23:40:00Z
My In-Laws: One Reason I'm Happily Married Today
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-In-Laws:-One-Reason-Im-Happily-Married-Today/584017666105239765.html
2012-11-05T23:03:00Z
2012-11-05T23:03:00Z
<p>In short, I realized that life could be better if I married in to my in-law family. I love my mother, but we do not see eye-to-eye on many things: friends, life choices, marriage, politics, or humor. I grew up with my mom essentially disliking every friend and boyfriend I introduced her to. She told me to marry my best friend and I did just that (exactly 14-years-ago today). What I didn't realize was that she wanted it to be to someone she liked. I see a lot of her parents' personalities in her; they were mean and unloving. That is all my mom knew growing up. So, though I forgive the things she has said or done in the past, I will never forget them. My mom has not made it easy to keep her in my life, but her struggles with my choices are now kept to herself (I had to give her an ultimatum) and they have not impacted her grandchildren. She does love my children absolutely and for that I love her in return.</p>
<p>That being said, my in-laws have been the most warm, forgiving and loving creatures. My mother-in-law has treated me like a true daughter and embraced me into her family. She taught me to cook and bake, to love, laugh, to be a good wife and mother, and enjoy life. My mother-in-law just turned 70-years-old this year (my father-in-law is 78) and they still walk 1-3 miles almost every day and have been married for 50 years. They travel to Africa in the spring and Europe in the fall every year. We love to go shopping on the weekend with my kids. We have many things in common and most of all they love my children (their grandchildren) to the fullest and spoil them unconditionally. They are one of the many wonderful reasons I am still happily married today.</p>
<p>Please keep my name anonymous.</p>
Staff
2012-11-05T23:03:00Z
Considering Family when Choosing Career
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Considering-Family-when-Choosing-Career/953000017889547806.html
2012-11-05T23:01:00Z
2012-11-05T23:01:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I absolutely had the forethought to know I wanted to be a stay-at-home mother when I was in college, but I also was an academic. I think my ultimate career choice ended up making my children's lives so much better, and I am grateful. I believe I was your listener at the time, too. Anyway, I chose to be an English teacher -- I ultimately earned two Master's Degrees and a teaching credential. My plan was to teach until I had children and then be home until they all started to attend school and then go back to work since our hours would be the same. Reality did not work according to plan at all.</p>
<p>I was married to my first husband for 9 1/2 years, mostly happy years; I joked when I got pregnant that we couldn't get divorced now since we were going to have a baby. Long story short, he had an affair when the baby was 6 months old and admitted it to me on her first birthday. He chose to not break it off and, thus, we divorced. Because I had my degrees, I got two part-time jobs at Community College; my family helped with other things - which was extremely supportive. I thought about never getting married again and just raising my daughter; however, in the end I carefully selected someone who didn't have prior children and knew my daughter was the priority.</p>
<p>Our marriage is a solid one, but not without its bumps--they are just of a different kind. Once married, I cut back my work schedule taught only one class which kept me fresh and my daughter always was with a relative or my husband when I worked all of 4 hours a week. I also ended up joining another family, and we homeschooled when the children started kindergarten. My husband and I had another child, but when she was two, my husband lost his job due to the economy--he was out of work for, gulp, 2 1/2 years.</p>
<p>I have to tell you that at times, I felt like Job; I worked so hard my whole adult life and yet continued to have issues. Because of my career choice, I was able to work more--I had two part-time jobs based on my family's schedule--and still was home with my kids. We didn't lose our house or go into debt during that time. My husband has been back to work for over a year, but makes $20,000 less, so I continue to work, and I continue to homeschool, and I continue to be available for my girls. My one major wish is that I had a third child--I really, really wanted one, but I am at peace because we can take care of the children we do have. And I am still the mom who puts her kids to bed and is with them most of the day. My career choice allowed me in my circumstances to avoid day care and still support my family and be there to mother my children. I am thankful.</p>
<p>Best,</p>
<p>Janet</p>
Staff
2012-11-05T23:01:00Z
From the Wife of a Veteran
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/From-the-Wife-of-a-Veteran/-55519784218553011.html
2012-11-02T20:34:00Z
2012-11-02T20:34:00Z
<p>You had a <a href="/pg/jsp/charts/audioMaster.jsp?dispid=306&pid=91459">call from a veteran</a> whose fiancé insisted he seek therapy because he cried when a movie scene provoked memories of a tragic event from his life in combat. He was very worried therapy would open wounds that are trying to heal. As the wife of a wonderful veteran who has some real struggles with PTSD, I was deeply saddened by this man's story. It sounds like his woman's attitude has some really destructive potential. His reaction to the movie was a HUMAN reaction, NOT an episode of PTSD. If she's behaving this way over something so reasonable, I doubt she will ever understand what he needs from her when he actually does struggle. She will likely eventually force him into therapy, blaming every bump in the road on "untreated" PTSD.</p>
<p>When my hubby tried therapy for his troubles, it destroyed him inside for some time, and nearly destroyed our marriage of ten years. He has troubles from time to time and some real challenges because of what he's faced. But I've learned that nothing can undo the experiences he's had; they changed him. He's learned that simply living is its own treatment, and the best option for him. I support him as lovingly as I can, sometimes with superhuman patience, thanks to God. His PTSD is a part of his life now. I try to handle the challenges as I would if it was some random disease that plagued him; he's my man and he needs his woman's love! He's a dedicated father and a good man. I can tell you though, that he'd probably fall apart without the loving support of those around him.</p>
<p>This dear soldier that called your show is best advised to seriously evaluate whether this woman will support him as he needs, or whether she will push him into something unspeakably painful and potentially destructive. Therapy isn't always necessary or beneficial. She had better tread lightly and not act like the expert on what her man needs. She should trust his judgment. He knows what is best for him. I wish him the best and I thank him and his family (as well as your son and your family) for all the sacrifices the serviceman's lifestyle requires. I know some of the dear prices paid.</p>
<p>Donna</p>
Staff
2012-11-02T20:34:00Z
Don't Blame TV, Blame the Parents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dont-Blame-TV,-Blame-the-Parents/-226696286885795597.html
2012-11-02T20:32:00Z
2012-11-02T20:32:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My dad had gotten tickets to a football game and we decided to go for some father-daughter bonding time. After the game, we walked to the metro station to head home. It was crowded and our team had won a qualifying match.</p>
<p>I noticed a group of adults with a boy who must have been no older than eight-years-old (I'm assuming two of the adults were his parents). They were throwing a ball back and forth at the boy in the crowd while we were entering the station and heading towards a staircase going down. They didn't watch where they were going and could have easily pushed someone down the stairs. Next, the adult man (who I'm assuming was the dad) screamed to the boy about how our team "kicked the other team's ass." Then later, the man started chanting the other team "sucks". I admit that these are harmless words compared to what other words could have been said. I also admit I don't have the cleanest mouth at times too. But I would never imagine using that kind of language or behavior in front of a child. Children do not often comprehend when and where to use inappropriate language.</p>
<p>If we see children acting rude or obnoxiously, we don't have to blame TV. It's happening right in front of them at home.</p>
<p>M.</p>
Staff
2012-11-02T20:32:00Z
A Key Ingredient to a Great Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Key-Ingredient-to-a-Great-Marriage/488622857713790231.html
2012-11-01T21:36:00Z
2012-11-01T21:36:00Z
<p>Having a good relationship with my mother-in-law has made a huge difference in my marriage. My husband is proud of me for always connecting with my mother-in-law and having a good relationship with her. Of course this relationship has been built over time and we have grown closer over the years. If you want to have a great marriage (almost 30 years now) one of the key ingredients is a quality relationship with the relatives. This also shows your children how relationships work and will lead them to happy marriages as well. And for those who think this information is baloney, remember my words when you are having another issue and problems with husband/wife and in-laws. A good relationship just makes life sweeter and less stressful.</p>
<p>Deanne</p>
Staff
2012-11-01T21:36:00Z
Something to Think About
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Something-to-Think-About/-375276100963351432.html
2012-11-01T21:32:00Z
2012-11-01T21:32:00Z
<p>Hello Wonderful Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I so enjoy listening to your show, thank you for the work you do for all of us.</p>
<p>After hearing a recent caller, I asked my dear husband what HE would like when he gets home at the end of his work day. His schedule recently changed and he will be working until 8PM for a while. He gave the matter some thought and said, "It makes me happy to come home and see you all cozy and content." What a guy. I'm going to work on him until I find out more about what he wants when he gets home.</p>
<p>Thanks for giving me that to think about. I give you a lot of credit for our 28 year long blissfully happy marriage.</p>
<p>Daryl</p>
Staff
2012-11-01T21:32:00Z
Not Being Ready for College-- or Life!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Not-Being-Ready-for-College---or-Life!/-498425709123782674.html
2012-10-31T21:30:00Z
2012-10-31T21:30:00Z
<p>I am a high school teacher. I serve on a committee that works with parents to encourage struggling students so they have a better chance to graduate, thus improving their later quality of life. I'd like to tell you about a recent meeting with "Jane," a 17-year-old junior who is repeating some freshman level classes due to failing grades. She has several facial piercings, wears gothic attire and has daily outbursts of emotion during class.</p>
<p>The girl does not get along with her parents, disrespects them by yelling and cursing at them and often lives with a 20-year-old boyfriend. The student recently missed numerous days of school to attend a cross-country event that was for newfound relations - people who are essentially strangers. As a teacher, I suggested summer break would be a better time for a vacation, but, hey, what do I know!</p>
<p>I have been thinking about a quote from the student's parent: "I can't wait for her to move out and go to college!"</p>
<p>College?! This student is not employable for any type of job due to her lack of respect for authority and lack of impulse control. College is not even in the realm of possibility as her study habits are nonexistent and she has no interest in any field of study. The disconnect between reality and what parental perception is amazing! Parents often fail to teach and discipline their students. Then, they look to the school for answers.</p>
<p>I am a teacher. I just want to teach my subject matter; I do not want to teach the basics of proper behavior because that should be covered at home--during the toddler years.</p>
<p>I am very concerned for the current generation of youth that has no clue about proper behavior and hard work. I'm even more concerned for us, the generation ahead of them, because we will have to continue to pick up their slack.</p>
<p>Brooke</p>
Staff
2012-10-31T21:30:00Z
Are SAT and ACT Good Measures?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Are-SAT-and-ACT-Good-Measures/891664405119911773.html
2012-10-31T21:27:00Z
2012-10-31T21:27:00Z
<p>After 24 years at the university, I can say, "Yes, they are good." Note that I left it at good and did not say they are great or the only.</p>
<p>In many of the cases where I have had to deal with students making poor grades, there were low test scores in their records. But, I have had many poor students who had higher scores. They were not applying themselves or had taken on too many responsibilities. In fact, I often tell students, "There are three activities in life: Full-time school, Work, and Family. Choose any Two. (Because one cannot do a good job in all three--one or more activity will suffer poor quality.)"</p>
<p>Motivation is probably the best predictor of college success.</p>
<p>My son struggled in college (after obtaining rather poor ACT scores) and left after 3 semesters. He went to welding school, worked in a warehouse, and has been in a welding job for about 1 year. On a recent trip to an equipment manufacturer sales office, he instructed them on how to do something with their machine they did not know how to do. He also received a verbal solicitation for employment from them. On his job, he has gone from welding only to reading prints and setting up jobs. He also amazed them in understanding computers and spreadsheets when the person responsible for the tool-crib inventory was out sick and someone else needed the information.</p>
<p>If I sound like a proud papa, I am. Success in life is more than initials behind your name. I think both of my kids are on their way toward those successes (each without college degrees). Don't get me wrong - degrees are important for many people (myself included), but there are other more important things: being satisfied in a job, raising a good family, being honest, etc. - all the things you teach.</p>
<p>Emmett</p>
Staff
2012-10-31T21:27:00Z
Halloween Memories
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Halloween-Memories/819852093892909117.html
2012-10-30T22:10:00Z
2012-10-30T22:10:00Z
<p>Thought these Halloween stories from listeners were great for sharing...</p>
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am 53 years old and remember Halloween as a simple time to enjoy oneself and one's family with a classic fall trick-or-treating. Halloween costumes were handmade; often items were gotten from the closet. If you lacked creativity, Dad could always make you into a hobo. You see, that was your choice. This was done with kindness and immense consideration.</p>
<p>Right before we went trick-or-treating, Dad would burn the end of a cork and apply that to darken our faces for beards. We would sit on a stool in the garage while he did this. That by far was my favorite part of Halloween -- that dad could make you into a hobo with stuff found in the closet and the kindness of the charcoal application -- that moment of just me and Dad in the garage putting on the final touches for Halloween is by far the most memorial.</p>
<p>Kind regards,</p>
<p>Ellen</p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>I used to work at a university where students were given jobs in the staff offices. One year for Halloween, my husband was going to be out of town so I had no one to help hand out candy at our house while I took the kids trick-or-treating. Since my son doesn't like chocolate, I made a deal with a student worker that he could have the candy my kids didn't want if he would take them trick-or-treating. Not only did he agree to the gig, he came dressed in costume...as a nun! Almost 10 years later, our family is still in touch with the student worker whom my kids affectionately still call, "Sister Jeff!"</p>
<p>Patty</p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>When my daughter was 3.5 yrs. old I created a costume for her of Raggedy Ann. We painted her face and made hair using a headband and a lot of red yarn. She looked fabulous with her blue pinafore, white tights and black patent leather shoes. I was so excited and said, "You look just like Raggedy Ann!!" She looked me in the eye with wide-eyed wonder for a moment, and then replied "No Mommy - I <strong>am</strong> Raggedy Ann!" It cracked me up how thoroughly she got into character!</p>
<p>She is now a remarkable 23-year-old woman.</p>
<p>Now you have a great day!</p>
<p>Kathleen</p>
Staff
2012-10-30T22:10:00Z
I Must Have Been Raised Wrong
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I--Must-Have-Been-Raised-Wrong/186685436947294963.html
2012-10-30T22:05:00Z
2012-10-30T22:05:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I just saw this <a href="http://magazine.foxnews.com/love/four-exceptions-no-sex-first-date" target="_blank">article</a> on FoxNews.com. Apparently it is OK to have sex on the first date - and here are the best reasons to do it.</p>
<p>What I found most intriguing (or depressing) was this comment from a survey: "80 percent of men said they did not see the relationship getting serious after sleeping together on the first date." Apparently when my parents raised me to believe that sex was something special, they doomed me to be in the minority.</p>
<p>Of course had I followed any of the crap in this article, I would not have my lovely wife (who had a chunk of carbon on her finger before we went to bed) or our kids (some days not having them might be a good thing - LOL).</p>
<p>Keep up the "old-fashioned" morality, people have to hear it from somewhere - obviously they aren't getting it from the media (not even Fox?!!).</p>
<p>Mark</p>
Staff
2012-10-30T22:05:00Z
I Chose My Career for My 82 Children - Not 84
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Chose-My-Career-for-My-82-Children---Not-84/905127151874824955.html
2012-10-29T20:46:00Z
2012-10-29T20:46:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I began my career in high school actually. I took a graphic design class and knew it was for me. As I looked into college and this career I discovered how flexible it was for a family. I knew I could work from home, work in the middle of the night and/or work part time. So I began my career with this goal in mind, got involved in the local art organization and grew my professional contact list so when I was ready, I could have a successful at home business if I chose to.</p>
<p>Flash forward to today and I am in the middle of transitioning out of my full time graphic design job because the first of my 82 children will be here in just three short months (he just kicked me to say "hello" to you!).</p>
<p>I plan on working for the art organization very part time and freelancing after the kiddo and I get accustomed to one another.</p>
<p>Thanks to the support of my wonderful momma, husband and you I can't wait to be a full time momma!</p>
<p>PS. I say 82 children because on my first date with my husband when I told him I was dating to find the father of my 84 children, he replied "Guess we're not a match, I only wanted 82". Ha! That won me over, and the chocolate cupcake he brought instead of flowers.</p>
<p>Lindsay</p>
Staff
2012-10-29T20:46:00Z
Marriage Changed My Career Direction
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Marriage-Changed-My-Career-Direction/-695660540179260189.html
2012-10-29T20:43:00Z
2012-10-29T20:43:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>When I met my wife-to-be I was in graduate school with my sights set on a teaching career. I had about a year and a half left until I earned my Master's degree, and I intended to apply to get my Ph.D. to learn medieval Japanese history. She asked me how long I expected that to take, and I estimated about 8 years. She replied, "If you expect me to wait 8 years for you, you're crazy!"</p>
<p>Her response changed the direction of my career path. As my MA program drew to a close I searched for teaching jobs at local junior colleges. Much to my dismay, I learned that it would be nigh impossible for me to support a family as a new teacher here in sunny So' Cal'. I did not want my wife to work, and she certainly had her mind fixed on raising our future children.</p>
<p>A guest at our wedding rehearsal dinner (my wife's friend's husband) suggested I try my hand at selling cars since I liked and knew quite a bit about them. It would pay far better than 4 part-time jobs going between junior college campuses around here, so I thought I'd give it a shot. I consulted my bride, and she said she would allow me to try even though she did not have a high view of car sales or salesmen. She said that if it changed me in any way I'd have to agree to quit. I did agree, and I have not had to quit. It has been possible to remain honest and not fall into the mold of "slick" salesman.</p>
<p>For the past 12 years I have been selling cars and am now the fleet manager at my dealership. My wife stays home and home-schools our older daughter while our younger one goes to first grade at the local public school. Had I stuck to my original career plans I may have ended up with my doctorate in an obscure field (probably while remaining single). Instead I am married to a wonderful woman and we have two happy, good girls. My wife tells me I can get my Ph.D. when I retire in 20 years.</p>
<p>Best regards,</p>
<p>Patrick</p>
Staff
2012-10-29T20:43:00Z
Career Choices for Me and My Spouse
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Career-Choices-for-Me-and-My-Spouse/-291897222460449359.html
2012-10-26T21:57:00Z
2012-10-26T21:57:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Yes, I chose my career with my future in mind! I had an elementary school teaching degree and I chose that not only because I love children in general, but I also knew I wanted to be a stay-at-home mother some day and IF I had to work when they started school I could be there for them when they got home, and maybe even at the same school.</p>
<p>On one of our first dates my husband and I discussed having children and that I would be a stay-at-home mom. For him, that was motivation enough to succeed to the point where we would be able to live on his income.</p>
<p>As far as moving, we did get transferred 3 times. I trusted my husband knowing he would not take a job somewhere I'd be miserable. Each city we lived in had at least one family member to baby-sit, have over for holidays, birthdays and so on...</p>
<p>I saw my "job" as his helpmate wherever we went. I found part-time teaching jobs when I could after our children were born. In my opinion, choosing a good spouse who values you and future children is more important than following careers that sacrifice either of the latter. I did that and have raised three great kids, one of whom is expecting my first grandchild! They are already living the values we taught them by example and it was worth the choices we made.</p>
<p>Thanks for standing up for "doing the right thing!"</p>
<p>Melissa</p>
Staff
2012-10-26T21:57:00Z
Inappropriate Clothing on Teen Girls
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Inappropriate-Clothing-on-Teen-Girls/-469582311282869890.html
2012-10-26T21:56:00Z
2012-10-26T21:56:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My husband teaches Jr. and Sr. High School and sees teenage and even preteen girls, dressed like street walkers and MTV dancers. This in and of itself shows a lack of parental involvement at home, but it gets worse from there.</p>
<p>As a male teacher, my husband is not even allowed to enforce the dress code on these young girls. The school had to set such rules in place for the TEACHERS' protection. If a male teacher comments on a female student's body parts hanging out, it means that he was "looking" at her inappropriately.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, it is all too common these days for young girls, (and sometimes boys), to understand way too much about why women dress like sluts, and will throw a teacher under the bus for something as simple as enforcing the dress code; claiming that he/she was "checking me out".</p>
<p>Obviously these teens need less adult T.V., more time with their parents, and, *gasp*, they might even benefit from a strong male influence telling them to be responsible for their own image.</p>
<p>Instead they are being told it is ok to treat themselves, and others, with no respect, and that finger-pointing is better than owning up to their mistakes.</p>
<p>Thanks for all you do Dr. Laura. Keep up the good fight!</p>
<p>Beth</p>
Staff
2012-10-26T21:56:00Z
We Must Be Men
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Must-Be-Men/-337494082843698535.html
2012-10-25T19:18:00Z
2012-10-25T19:18:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am a 27 year old woman, raised with strong traditional values with parents who have been married over 30 years. I have been listening to you with my mom since I was a child. Your show and my parents' successful life and marriage have kept me in the right frame of thinking as I have a tendency to lean toward the feminist thinking ("I don't want to be dominated"... I can do what he can do...", etc.). I listen to your show daily via the monthly subscription - technology is wonderful! I am currently engaged to be married on November 17, to a wonderful man, and I try very hard to keep in mind the importance of appreciating, accepting, and admiring him every day.</p>
<p>This month, my church had its semi-annual conference that is broadcast throughout the world. I wanted to share one specific talk, given to just the men of the church, as it puts very well the things you say on a regular basis. It talks about the fading presence of real MEN in our society today, the arrested development of young men, the lack of hard work or purpose the men have. But also, he talks of the emasculation men have experienced due to the uprising of feminist values.</p>
<p>I wanted to share this so you can feel the support of individuals who still uphold traditional values, and know that we are out there fighting the good fight!</p>
<p>Here are some snippets from the talk:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>"Brethren, much has been said and written in recent years about the challenges of men and boys. A sampling of book titles, for example, includes <em>Why There Are No Good Men Left, The Demise of Guys, The End of Men, Why Boys Fail,</em> and <em>Manning Up</em>. Interestingly, most of these seem to have been written by women. In any case, a common thread running through these analyses is that in many societies today men and boys get conflicting and demeaning signals about their roles and value in society."</p>
<p>"In their zeal to promote opportunity for women, something we applaud, there are those who denigrate men and their contributions. They seem to think of life as a competition between male and female-that one must dominate the other, and now it's the women's turn. Some argue that a career is everything and marriage and children should be entirely optional-therefore, why do we need men?2 In too many Hollywood films, TV and cable shows, and even commercials, men are portrayed as incompetent, immature, or self-absorbed. This cultural emasculation of males is having a damaging effect."</p>
<p>"...we have an essential role to play in society, at home, and in the Church. But we must be men that women can trust, that children can trust, and that God can trust...we cannot afford to have boys and men who are drifting. We cannot afford young men who lack self-discipline and live only to be entertained. We cannot afford young adult men who are going nowhere in life, who are not serious about forming families..."</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Here is the <a href="http://www.lds.org/general-conference/print/2012/10/brethren-we-have-work-to-do?lang=eng" target="_blank">entire text</a>. <br /><br />Katelin</p>
Staff
2012-10-25T19:18:00Z
Inappropriate Dress
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Inappropriate-Dress/-229606484296851544.html
2012-10-25T19:15:00Z
2012-10-25T19:15:00Z
<p>I used to pick my son up from middle school and see a few girls wearing very short shorts and revealing tops and I just assumed both their parents worked and didn't see them when these girls got dressed for school. I would point them out to my son and tell him not to bring home any girls who dressed like that! Not that he needed to be told, but still it seemed like a good time to point that out to him, lest there be any doubt.</p>
<p>Now that he is in high school, I have noticed a fair number of girls in the same skimpy attire, who even if it was appropriate, do not in any manner, shape or form have the figure for such a display, with blubber oozing everywhere. As a parent you owe it to your child to teach them what is appropriate and flattering and intervene when they are unable to discern that on their own for their own well being.</p>
<p>It makes me ill to see parents encouraging their elementary school daughters to look like street walkers. Where in the world do they think that is going to get them? Note to such parents: It is not cute and it is not okay.</p>
<p>I would also like to know why so many women are on a quest to show as much cleavage as possible from newscasters to everyday moms. Do they really think that looks good? Is that what they want to model for their kids? I am not a prude, but there really is a time and a place for such displays.</p>
<p>Keep fighting the good fight Dr. Laura, America needs you.</p>
<p>Jill</p>
Staff
2012-10-25T19:15:00Z
Stopping My Food Cravings
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stopping-My-Food-Cravings/352632192894748071.html
2012-10-24T21:11:00Z
2012-10-24T21:11:00Z
<p>Let me just preface this by admitting that I am a food addict and my weight showed that. I was 200 and something pounds at 5'4," but about 3 or 4 years ago I made some changes, some of which were very much inspired by you, Dr. Laura. I started with exercising. I have lost over 60 lbs., I have run 4 marathons and qualified to run the Boston Marathon this coming April. I guess you could say I transformed myself from obese to athlete.</p>
<p>1) Exercise is HUGE in preventing cravings. I start my day every morning with a good solid exerting workout and something happens deep within me that sustains me throughout my day. I am more in tune with my body and I naturally crave the healthy foods my body needs, and besides who wants to waste a hard earned 70 minute, 7 mile morning run in only 30 seconds by eating a bunch of crap. If it doesn't heal my body from today's workout, or help fuel tomorrow's, I won't eat it--99% of the time.</p>
<p>2) "Nothing taste's better than thin" is a phrase I adopted from the ladies at my ballet barre class. It's what I tell myself sometimes when I'm considering eating something I know I shouldn't. But the #1 most effective way to resist eating junk at the very moment the junk is screaming your name is what I invented for myself, my...</p>
<p>3) "Want Meter"...for psychological reasons I have never banned anything I thoroughly enjoy from my diet. If I tell myself I am quitting ice cream, I will never stop thinking about eating ice cream, so over the last 3 years that have been successful, cutting anything completely from my diet has been out of the question. I tell myself that I am allowed to have it, only after assessing how bad I really want it, which is where my "Want Meter" comes in. When I first see the food and it's screaming my name, I usually want it at a level of 8, 9, or 10 on a "Want Meter" scale of 1-10. The rule is this: Drink a minimum of 16 oz. of water, and re-assess how bad you want it. If it is still about 7 or above--which it rarely ever is after drinking that much water and realizing that you were just thirsty-then go for it, but when you do indulge, savor every bite and after drinking that much water, you're much more able to control your inner desire to over indulge.</p>
<p>Thanks for all your inspiration to stay fit, be happy and feel great!</p>
<p>--Kelly</p>
Staff
2012-10-24T21:11:00Z
Listening and Learning
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Listening-and-Learning/124317242779389157.html
2012-10-24T21:10:00Z
2012-10-24T21:10:00Z
<p>I was listening to your show the other day and thinking to myself that I hope you never retire. If someday you feel the need to, could we possibly clone you? I guess the tricky part is cloning your brain though.</p>
<p>I want my girls, ages 12 and 15, to have the same opportunity as I've had, being able to listen to your advice and learn from it. I have never had the need to call, which is great and must mean you are doing your job right. I listen to you while I'm cleaning the house or driving in the car. I love how you put people in their place when needed and am thankful that it is not me on the receiving end.</p>
<p>You are so inspirational, with your advice, how active you are, how you are always trying new things, and how mentally strong you are...what a great role model for everyone.</p>
<p>It's great how you make people responsible for their own actions. Finally, someone strong enough to do that! We truly need more of you in this world.</p>
<p>I love being a wife and mom more than anything in this world and I believe listening to you has made me even better at both. So thank you for sharing your insight with a world that so desperately needs it.</p>
<p>One more thing, I am also amazed at how articulate and eloquently you speak. That's on my wish list for my next life. I am my kids' mom, my husband's girlfriend and Dr. Laura's faithful listener.</p>
<p>Karri</p>
Staff
2012-10-24T21:10:00Z
14 Steps to Follow Before You Decide to Have Children!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/14-Steps-to-Follow-Before-You-Decide-to-Have-Children!/-872583044091910606.html
2012-10-23T20:55:00Z
2012-10-23T20:55:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>This piece is going around on the Internet. I thought it was perfect for you... Funny, but true stuff!</p>
<p>- Susie</p>
<p><strong>Test 1: Preparation</strong><br />Women: To prepare for pregnancy:</p>
<ol>
<li>Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.</li>
<li>Leave it there.</li>
<li>After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.</li>
</ol>
<p>Men: To prepare for children:</p>
<ol>
<li>Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself</li>
<li>Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.</li>
<li>Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.</li>
</ol>
<p><strong>Test 2: Knowledge</strong><br />Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behavior.</p>
<p>Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Test 3: Nights</strong><br />To discover how the nights will feel:</p>
<ol>
<li>Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4 - 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.</li>
<li>At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.</li>
<li>Get up at 11pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.</li>
<li>Set the alarm for 3am.</li>
<li>As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.</li>
<li>Go to bed at 2.45am.</li>
<li>Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.</li>
<li>Sing songs in the dark until 4am.</li>
<li>Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.</li>
<li>Make breakfast.</li>
</ol>
<p>Keep this up for 5 years. LOOK CHEERFUL.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Test 4: Dressing Small Children</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>Buy a live octopus and a string bag.</li>
<li>Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hangout.</li>
</ol>
<p>Time Allowed: 5 minutes.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Test 5: Cars</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>Forget the BMW. Buy a practical 5-door wagon.</li>
<li>Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.</li>
<li>Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.</li>
<li>Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.</li>
<li>Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.</li>
</ol>
<p><strong>Test 6: Going For a Walk</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>Wait.</li>
<li>Go out the front door.</li>
<li>Come back in again.</li>
<li>Go out.</li>
<li>Come back in again.</li>
<li>Go out again.</li>
<li>Walk down the front path.</li>
<li>Walk back up it.</li>
<li>Walk down it again.</li>
<li>Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.</li>
<li>Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.</li>
<li>Retrace your steps.</li>
<li>Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.</li>
<li>Give up and go back into the house.</li>
</ol>
<p>You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Test 7: Conversations with children</strong><br />Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Test 8: Grocery Shopping</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.</li>
<li>Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.</li>
<li>Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.</li>
</ol>
<p>Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Test 9: Feeding a 1 year-old</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>Hollow out a melon</li>
<li>Make a small hole in the side</li>
<li>Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side</li>
<li>Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.</li>
<li>Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.</li>
<li>Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.</li>
</ol>
<p><strong>Test 10: TV</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney.</li>
<li>Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.</li>
</ol>
<p><strong>Test 11: Mess</strong><br />Can you stand the mess children make? To find out:</p>
<ol>
<li>Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains</li>
<li>Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.</li>
<li>Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?</li>
<li>Empty every drawer/cupboard/storage box in your house onto the floor and proceed with step 5.</li>
<li>Drag randomly items from one room to another room & leave them there.</li>
</ol>
<p><strong>Test 12: Long Trips with Toddlers</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mommy' repeatedly. Important Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each 'Mommy'. Include occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.</li>
<li>Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.</li>
</ol>
<p>You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.</p>
<p><strong>Test 13: Conversations</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>Start talking to an adult of your choice.</li>
<li>2. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mommy tape listed above.</li>
</ol>
<p>You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Test 14: Getting ready for work</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.</li>
<li>Put on your finest work attire.</li>
<li>Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it</li>
<li>Stir</li>
<li>Dump half of it on your nice shirt</li>
<li>Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture</li>
<li>Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel</li>
<li>Do not change (you have no time).</li>
<li>Go directly to work</li>
</ol>
Staff
2012-10-23T20:55:00Z
Good for Potty Training!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Good-for-Potty-Training!/-338580114114974915.html
2012-10-23T20:46:00Z
2012-10-23T20:46:00Z
<p>My 3-year-old still requires me to position him on the big toilet. If he's going to "be a while" part of his routine is to listen to your podcast with me. The second time he specifically requested this, I asked "Why do you want to hear Dr Laura in the bathroom??" To which he quickly replied, "Because people listen to her to help them do 'fings!" It must work, because he's never had a potty relapse!</p>
<p>By the way, he's another one of your young fans to say "DR. Laura is ON, right now!"</p>
<p>Rhonda</p>
Staff
2012-10-23T20:46:00Z
My APC: Anti-Procrastination Campaign
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-APC:-Anti-Procrastination-Campaign/828822520580532611.html
2012-10-22T20:05:00Z
2012-10-22T20:05:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura -</p>
<p>Eighteen months ago, I started an "Anti-Procrastination Campaign." You see, my husband is extremely neat and efficient (reliable and productive), and I am -- what shall I say -- messy and "random" (spontaneous and fun).</p>
<p>As part of a huge effort to improve our marriage, I launched the Anti-Procrastination Campaign. I identified a few slogans to inspire me:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Don't put it down, put it away.<br />Don't put it on a list, just do it.<br />"Later" with a big red circle and slash through it</p>
<p>I lived (and still do) by these slogans and began to tidy up the house and purge my junk. I would send my husband e-mails during the day - each one with the subject line, "APC Update" (Anti procrastination campaign update).</p>
<p>I still tend to procrastinate - deadlines are exciting to me. But with my slogans posted, and a good to-do list, I am keeping a tidier house for my husband and we have a happier marriage.</p>
<p>Sandy</p>
Staff
2012-10-22T20:05:00Z
My Boss Didn't Like Me at First...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Boss-Didnt-Like-Me-at-First.../631069577235879329.html
2012-10-22T20:01:00Z
2012-10-22T20:01:00Z
<p>Prior to becoming an employee of "Bill", I had heard he would stab me in the back and micromanage me, so I decided from the outset I would do my best to win him over.</p>
<p>During my second day on the job, he told me if my work so far had been an interview, he wouldn't hire me because I lacked experience in a particular skill set. I responded by saying that if he had any training materials or ideas on how I could get myself up to speed, I would spend as much of my own time as necessary to utilize them -- which I did. When other people within the company would criticize "Bill," I would always say something positive about him, and looked for legitimate opportunities to affirm or compliment him. Eventually, he realized I had his back and I was a team player. Our working relationship became one of trust and mutual respect. I started out asking him for details about how he wanted assignments to be carried out, and within a couple of months, he began telling me to use my own judgment, as "my own ideas were better than his".</p>
<p>Thanks for your ministry, Dr. Laura; I am a huge fan and although I don't get to listen to your show regularly anymore, I've still got your back.</p>
<p>Eric</p>
<p>P.S. I have been hooked on sailing ever since I got a ride on a sunfish almost 40 years ago.</p>
Staff
2012-10-22T20:01:00Z
Letter to Grandpa
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Letter-to-Grandpa/192661466478593589.html
2012-10-19T21:02:00Z
2012-10-19T21:02:00Z
<p>Dear Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I attended a funeral today of my dear friend's father, who past away after 72 years of marriage at 99-years-old. He had an amazing life as a dentist and being a Jewish soldier during World War II; however, apparently his greatest accomplishment was being a grandpa to my friend's children after she divorced. The following letter was written by his grandson, who is currently a student at Oxford University, and couldn't be at the service, but wanted all to know the impact of his grandpa... - Alisa</p>
<p><br />Dear Grandpa,</p>
<p>I miss you so much. I was looking at a list of things to do for the week and halfway down it was...."Call Grandpa and Grandma." I always wanted to make sure you knew I was thinking about you no matter where I am in the world. The last time I spoke with Grandma, I made sure she told you that I loved you, and I could hear you say, "I love you" back.....I am happy those were the last words we ever spoke.</p>
<p>You are the sweetest person I have ever known and will probably ever know. You devoted your life to helping other people, from your service in the Army, your days as a dentist providing free dental care to those who couldn't afford it, and your days as a volunteer at Sloan Kettering Cancer Institute. Your compassion towards the less fortunate and genuine kindness towards other people were your finest attributes and are those that I most admired.</p>
<p>I will miss your easy going disposition. I remember when you would watch me when mom would go out of town. You would let me stay home from school and eat whatever I wanted. I am sure my teachers didn't like it, but I loved those days.</p>
<p>I will miss sneaking you another chocolate so Grandma wouldn't catch you, bringing you something sweet from the Coffee Bean or buying you a little present with a picture of a monkey on it.</p>
<p>You lived a full and happy life and had people who cared about you more than anything in the world, up until your final days. I wish I could have been there during your last week; I would have tried to cheer you up and make you feel better and assure you that everything was going to be okay.</p>
<p>I will forever miss you. I hope to make you proud, Grandpa; not only of my accomplishments, but more importantly of the man I hope to become one day. You laid the groundwork for me and I will follow closely in your steps. You always told me to take care of my mom and sister and I promise you I will do just that.</p>
<p>I love you, Grandpa, and if you see the Russian Dancer, be sure to tell her I say hello.</p>
<p>Love,</p>
<p>R.</p>
Staff
2012-10-19T21:02:00Z
Wives -- Read This!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Wives----Read-This!/-34829195249981356.html
2012-10-19T20:59:00Z
2012-10-19T20:59:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Thanks for all you do and for helping me get my own moral compass recalibrated some years ago.</p>
<p>I am a RN in a hospital. Yesterday the tech and I were getting ready to assist a 92-year-old WWII vet who had been married for 69 years. He turned to introduce us to his wife and said, "I'd like you to meet my wife who also happens to be my girlfriend." That just shows your advice to wives really does work!</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Kelley</p>
Staff
2012-10-19T20:59:00Z
Wedding Day Cold Feet?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Wedding-Day-Cold-Feet/288648718616818070.html
2012-10-18T20:55:00Z
2012-10-18T20:55:00Z
<p>We received many responses to our question: <em>Do you think getting cold feet before your wedding is just a natural part of the process, or is it a bad omen for the marriage?</em> Here are just a few:<br /><br /><br />When I was 19, I stood at the altar to get married and was scared stiff. My parents had paid for the wedding - relatives and guests came from out of town. There had been the usual round of parties, showers, etc. The church was full, the music was playing, and I realized I DIDN'T WANT TO GET MARRIED. I stood there hoping someone would "object" when the pastor asked, but, of course, no one did. The marriage lasted 5 months and 7 days. That was 43 years ago and I still get nervous thinking about it. As my father prepared to walk me down the aisle, I wish he had asked me if I was sure that was what I wanted to do.</p>
<p>I married again several years later to a man I wanted to be married to. When our daughter got married, I told him before they stepped into church, to look her straight in the eyes and tell her, "If you are unsure about this for any reason, we'll stop right now. Your mother and I will handle the guests and get you out of it." She wanted to proceed and has been married seven years to a wonderful man.</p>
<p>How I wish someone had given me the option - it would have saved a lot of heartache on both sides.<br /><strong>Bobbie</strong></p>
<p><br />Did I have cold feet on my wedding day way back on May 17, 1986? Nope. NOT AT ALL! I waited 13 years just to get a date with Jeannie. AND IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT! I never for a moment had any doubts whatsoever. Sometimes I am still incredulous that Jeannie actually married ME! On my wedding day I was happy, calm, collected. This was what I had wanted for so long and it was now actually happening! Cold feet?! No way! Let's get this party STARTED!!!<br /><strong>Albert</strong></p>
<p><br />Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I believe that women have a "sense" about things and we should listen to that voice.</p>
<p>I married my first husband at 19. The morning of our wedding I awoke in the pre-dawn hours in a panic. I wanted to call it off so badly, but I didn't because my parents had invested so much money into the preparations. My mother had been up most of the night making our wedding cake and all the guests were there. That was almost 30 years ago and to this day I wish I could go back to that day and listen to my voice and call off the wedding.</p>
<p>We struggled through 17 years of marriage, destroyed two beautiful kids' lives and ended with a horrible battle that has left us not able to even be in the same room without tension.</p>
<p>I remarried a few years ago and never got those feelings. Yes, there have been times when I wondered if I should have stayed single, but those times pass and we work things out.</p>
<p>I believe that the little voice inside that causes us to get cold feet is a warning that things aren't right with the choice we're making and we need to stop and re-evaluate what we're about to do.</p>
<p>Thank you for all you do to help others make better choices.<br /><strong>Still Regretting in TX</strong></p>
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>This is natural, especially if you are a thinking human being. It is scary to contemplate a lifetime with one person. Further, among traditional people such as myself, neither we, nor our children, have lived with their intended spouses before marriage. I remember how scared I was at the thought of living with my future husband. I nearly backed out of our wedding, even as the guests had assembled at the hall and my husband was waiting for my arrival. I was dressed, made-up and suddenly, could not climb into my parents' car for the short ride. It took a lot of cajoling for my parents to get me into that car and under the chuppah. Thirty years later, my husband and I did the same for our daughter, and hope to bring the other four along soon.<br /><strong>Ruth</strong></p>
<p><br />I think it is a bad sign - those doubts will linger and grow and fester. My first husband - I was 18 - I wanted to run away from, but felt because of all the plans, gifts, etc. I was hooked. Well, I should have listened to my doubts. It was a terrible marriage and he turned into a controlling uptight jerk (and that is putting it mildly). We finally divorced after 5 years and he ran off with our neighbor - probably the best thing that ever happened to me and the worst thing for my neighbor. She left him after 10 years (they never married) and he decided he just didn't get along well with women - so he has stayed solo.<br /><strong>Linda</strong></p>
Staff
2012-10-18T20:55:00Z
A Wonderful Surprise
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Wonderful-Surprise/-336056284738848670.html
2012-10-18T20:51:00Z
2012-10-18T20:51:00Z
<p>I was born on Christmas Eve. To dilute my birthday further, my older brother was born Dec. 21st. While my mom was great and always made me feel special, my parties were always overshadowed by one of those two elements, and my friends most always had plans to be with family.</p>
<p>On the morning of my seventeenth birthday that all changed. I woke up to see my tiny room packed with my best friends! They dragged me out of bed at dawn and took me to one of their houses, where they had completely redecorated for my special day. We spent the whole morning playing all the traditional birthday party games that I had missed on, but mostly I just basked in the love they had shown me with their wonderful surprise. By lunch, it became Christmas Eve once again, and my friends returned to their families - the house returned to its Christmas splendor. But I never forgot the gesture.</p>
<p>Rachel</p>
Staff
2012-10-18T20:51:00Z
Help for Families with Children Who Have Sensory Processing Disorder
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Help-for-Families-with-Children-Who-Have-Sensory-Processing-Disorder/-645629094776891603.html
2012-10-17T19:30:00Z
2012-10-17T19:30:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura -</p>
<p>My heart went out to your caller on Monday (10.15.12), a mom who was angry at her 3-year-old with Sensory Processing Disorder. I loved your suggestion to listen to music to laugh.</p>
<p>I am the mom of an almost 9-year-old boy with SPD - he is sensory "defensive" to tactile (touch), oral (texture and temp) as well as auditory (sounds hurt his ears). It is difficult to deal with some days. We have worked hard at home to help him with stresses that would "shut him down". Once I convinced the school they needed to "respect" his "sensitivities," (which was a huge task), we have been able to help him all day long. When we go out, we keep a back pack in the car with "tools" to help him: chewing gum for his need to chew on things (saves on shirts!) and ear phones to block out sounds (some days we need these more than others).</p>
<p>Three things that have helped me:</p>
<p>1. Looking for the "why" - why is he reacting/shutting down? Then address it. You can't change a behavior if you don't understand what is causing it.</p>
<p>2. Find other parents who are in the same situation to bond with and vent to. I have some local friends with kids on the spectrum (high functioning like my son) who I can call and cry to. There are many chat groups on the Internet (Facebook has a few) so you can look for resources.</p>
<p>3. I read everything on a topic I can get my hands on. The book "Too Bright, Too Loud, Too Fast, Too Light" by Dr Sharon Heller explained things to me. Many "aha!" moments with this book.</p>
<p>Dr Laura, thank you for teaching us "serious mommas" some humor. Some times we focus too much on the situation at hand, and forget to be silly or unplug. I work on this every day.....</p>
<p>Jackie</p>
Staff
2012-10-17T19:30:00Z
'Que Sera Sera' is Worth Repeating
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Que-Sera-Sera-is-Worth-Repeating/935699340837454817.html
2012-10-17T19:22:00Z
2012-10-17T19:22:00Z
<p>I called about my fears and you told me to sing "Que Sera Sera," so I wanted to <a href="/b/Que-Sera-Sera!/-538050877133335126.html">email once more</a> about what my husband said.</p>
<p>It's actually harder to do than it sounds, but making a present and future gratitude list forces my brain's gears to change. And repeating "Que Sera Sera" reminds me, in the moment that I have to let go.</p>
<p>Before I called, I had a bad fight with my husband about my fearful habits. Then, I started doing what you said, and he just told me the past two weeks have been wonderful. His comment struck me because he's talking about our daily interactions, and he notices a difference. (I told him about my call, and when he sees me getting worked up, he whispers, "Que Sera Sera.")</p>
<p>I just wanted to say thank you again, for helping me learn how to practice being grateful and letting go.</p>
<p>Erin</p>
Staff
2012-10-17T19:22:00Z
Seeing My Father for Who He Was
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Seeing-My-Father-for-Who-He-Was/980365646660726832.html
2012-10-16T21:30:00Z
2012-10-16T21:30:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>The hardest lesson I ever learned took me well into my adult life, after my children were grown and on their own.</p>
<p>My father was a good man who provided for his family, but would have preferred to be, as he described himself, a hermit. Growing up I thought all children felt like I did about their fathers, mostly indifferent, but given the choice would prefer anything other than spending time with them. As I grew older I realized there were other girls who were "Daddy's girl" and they had very close loving relationships with their fathers. In fact, my girlfriend's dad took me under his wing, and treated me as I saw him treat my friend and her sisters. I began to wish my dad was more like this man.</p>
<p>Then, at some point, I began to will my father to change. Eventually I resented my father for not being the kind of father I wanted, indeed believed I needed him to be. This went on for many years.</p>
<p>Finally, once my own children were out of the house themselves, I realized my father did the best he could for who he was. He was not capable of being the kind of father I expected him to be, but he was the best father he could be. A few years before he passed away my father and I made peace - correction - I made peace with myself. My father and I were able to have candid conversations about my unrealistic expectations of him and how I finally accepted him for who he was and realize he did his best.</p>
<p>In the final weeks of my father's life my siblings (6) and I spent time with my dad and it dawned on me that not only was I at peace with who he was, but he was at peace with it too. I think on some level he was uncomfortable holding up the wall he had erected between himself and everyone else. He knew the struggle was coming to an end. I am glad I finally accepted my dad for the hermit he was and stopped trying to make him into the warm fuzzy I wanted him to be. To be honest, I don't think I would have felt comfortable with the change. He had always been a hermit, I just needed to open my eyes and see it.</p>
<p>Lori</p>
Staff
2012-10-16T21:30:00Z
How I Win People Over
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Win-People-Over/-686152668596550665.html
2012-10-16T21:27:00Z
2012-10-16T21:27:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am a 42-year-old daytime student at a smallish University in Southern California. Every semester on the first day of class, the students don't know what to make of me and whisper behind my back and occasionally, snicker rudely. I am going to school to become an elementary school teacher (my lifelong dream) and by the end of every semester I have made several young, very nice new friends.</p>
<p>How do I do this? I am myself! I offer help to everyone - in the form of a pencil, paper, stapler, sharing my book and knowing what the homework is at all times. I am a hardworking, dedicated and prepared student. In group settings I offer my ideas but am also willing to accept others' suggestions. I also have great props from my real life (like a huge Great Dane and chickens that have participated in many group projects with very dramatic effect).</p>
<p>By the end of each semester that I have been back in school, every "kid" who has gotten to know me really ends up respecting and liking me. A few have even confided that initially they didn't care for me (particularly the girls) and they were so wrong to judge me before they knew me. One girl even said "Having you in class is liking having my mom around to help me, but you are much cooler than her!"</p>
<p>I never let anyone's opinions of me affect my confidence and I always smile and offer help to those who need it, whether they ask or not.</p>
<p>I am a huge fan for 20 years. Dr. Laura, you dramatically changed the course of my life and I will forever be grateful to you for that!</p>
<p>Kelly</p>
Staff
2012-10-16T21:27:00Z
My Son's Character
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Sons-Character/-26675387551168962.html
2012-10-15T21:25:00Z
2012-10-15T21:25:00Z
<p>I, too, do not use the word "<a href="/b/What-Makes-Someone-a-Hero/956943440583420264.html" target="_self">Hero</a>" loosely! A year ago, when my son was only 10 years old, he put his life, knowingly, at risk to save the life of another. Unfortunately, I was not there. At a swim/video game party, my son jumped to the aid of his friend who was literally drowning. In his attempts to save his buddy, he was being drowned himself. He managed to swim away long enough to get air and then proceeded to go back and try again.</p>
<p>This time, he swam back over to his flailing distraught friend and shoved him with all his might into the shallow end of the pool. They were both coughing and crying at the edge of the pool, but thankfully, they were both ok. It was at that point when an adult realized something was wrong and came over to see what was the matter. Apparently all the adults were "involved" elsewhere and were not paying attention to the kids in the pool (that is another story in itself).</p>
<p>When I picked up my son from the party, he was quiet and looked frightened, but wouldn't tell me anything with all his buddies around. I knew something really bad happened when, as we were walking out, the boy who almost drowned said, "Thanks Dude." And then my son said, "Yeah, you really need to take swim lessons, ok?" Ten year old boys are so practical!!</p>
<p>On our ride home, I learned all the details and with tears in his eyes, he told me, "Mom, I had to get away from him to catch my breath, but I was only gone for like 3 seconds" [with guilt in his voice]. I, too, was in tears with fear and anger, but mostly with PRIDE. My son is truly a hero! He knew what could have happened and despite this very real fear for him, he couldn't not help his friend. Upon further questioning of the situation, I asked him why he swam back to his friend when he was almost drowned himself and this is what he told me, "I would give my life in order to save his." It was said without any thought or pause! This is MY son's character!!! I am without the proper words, even now, to express how proud I am of him. He is a true HERO!</p>
<p>(For the record, many more things were dealt with in regards to the complete negligence and lack of supervision at this kids' party, but my bottom-line is that I will never again assume proper supervision is at a swim party and make sure I'm there myself).</p>
<p>Shelly</p>
Staff
2012-10-15T21:25:00Z
Winning People Over
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Winning-People-Over/246209944836300291.html
2012-10-15T21:21:00Z
2012-10-15T21:21:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My mom believes in the "attracting bees with honey than vinegar" approach. She would quote this constantly as I was growing up, and even as an adult, but...</p>
<p>When I met my soon-to-be mother-in-law, guess what? SHE DID NOT LIKE ME. I was horrified. (No mother of a boyfriend had ever not liked me, as far as I knew!!) I tried the bees with honey approach. I cried a lot. I tried every tactic - Still nothing. It's been 21 years of wedded bliss, still she doesn't like me. I blamed and questioned myself for years.</p>
<p>What I have learned is - some people are impossible to please (or crazy), and trying to "win people over" is a complete waste of time. Be yourself. Be the BEST version of yourself!</p>
<p>xoxoxoxo</p>
<p>Emily</p>
Staff
2012-10-15T21:21:00Z
7 Ways to Make a Marriage Work
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/7-Ways-to-Make-a-Marriage-Work/-71834850467762326.html
2012-10-12T21:58:00Z
2012-10-12T21:58:00Z
<ol>
<li>Like and get along with your in-laws. After all they raised your spouse.</li>
<li>Make certain your spouse doesn't have mental illness, has a substance abuse problem, or a need to stay connected to past girlfriends/boyfriends.</li>
<li>If both your sets of parents are still married, then there is a good chance you two will stick together through the rough times.</li>
<li>Do not have a child/adult relationship, it never works.</li>
<li>Spend wisely. Having too much debt is very stressful to a marriage.</li>
<li>Don't have a Facebook page or any social media type page. Why do you want your spouse to be suspicious?</li>
<li>Well the list goes on and on, but I will say one more thing, perhaps the most important, Have fun together. Have marital relations as much as possible. It is difficult to stay mad at your spouse after an orgasm.</li>
</ol>
<p><br />Susan (happy wife for 15 years and counting)</p>
Staff
2012-10-12T21:58:00Z
Who Pays for College?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Who-Pays-for-College/-698457321551277831.html
2012-10-12T21:57:00Z
2012-10-12T21:57:00Z
<p>By dumb luck, I was able to pay for my own college. I was only 17 when I started college, and since I didn't like school, my first thought was to go during the summers, too, to get it over with. Then I thought, I don't want to be 20 years old and working full time. So I decided to go "co-op", a program that includes a year of hands on work intermixed throughout the 4 academic years and it would take 5 calendar years to finish school. Well, working and saving during those co-op sessions allowed me to pay 100% of my way through school. And with 5 other siblings for my parents to get through school, I was happy to do it.</p>
<p>My 3 daughters were told as freshman in high school, I would pay 1/4 of the cost of college, their mother would pay a 1/4, and they had to cover the other half. Also, I told them they did not need to get a job during high school. I would give them a reasonable amount of spending money for their socializing. Their JOB during high school, was to get good grades so they could get good scholarship money. So they got good scholarships (which count toward their half) and they are also working co-op and taking 5 calendar years to get through school.</p>
<p>It is working out very well, except that they are all in school this 2012 - 2013 academic year and paying parts my portion for all 3 at one time is a cramping my style a little!!</p>
<p>David</p>
Staff
2012-10-12T21:57:00Z
Effects of Decisions
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Effects-of-Decisions/17316113485581882.html
2012-10-11T21:45:00Z
2012-10-11T21:45:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>As an older adult now, I have to say the hardest lesson I have learned is that all actions have consequences. When we're young we don't always see the big picture and therefore say and do hurtful things not ever suspecting that one day those comments and actions will come back to haunt us. Although I'm a Christian and know that I have been forgiven for comments and deeds in my past, there is still a sense of shame I will have to carry throughout the rest of my life.</p>
<p>I have talked to each of my kids and tried to instill in them to think about the effects of decisions they make so hopefully they won't have to carry around this burden with them when they are older.</p>
<p>Thanks for all you do, Dr. Laura!!</p>
<p>Donna</p>
Staff
2012-10-11T21:45:00Z
It's About the Covenant
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-About-the-Covenant/892070001223351591.html
2012-10-11T21:41:00Z
2012-10-11T21:41:00Z
<p>Hi Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I was talking to my brother the other day. He was telling me about a conversation he had with a friend. His friend was contemplating if he wanted to stay married. (If there wasn't addiction, abuse or affairs), my brother told him that what he wanted didn't matter. The friend asked what he was talking about. My brother asked him if he made a covenant. And if so, then what he wants or thinks doesn't matter, he needed to honor his covenant!!</p>
<p>I'm so proud of my brother. He did not learn this from our parents. He learned this the hard way, through trying to make a good life.</p>
<p>Thank you for all you do,</p>
<p>Love,</p>
<p>Lisa</p>
<p>P. S. I've got a broken shoulder on the right, torn muscles and broken collar bone on the left, but I can do push-ups with my feet on the floor and my hands on a desk top. Hey, it is better than whining "I can't".</p>
Staff
2012-10-11T21:41:00Z
How We Raised Them: Love, Respect and Hard Work
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-We-Raised-Them:-Love,-Respect-and-Hard-Work/347373116542037156.html
2012-10-10T21:32:00Z
2012-10-10T21:32:00Z
<p>As a high school teacher, I see and hear so many kids talk very disrespectfully about their parents. Many times I intercede before they get too full of themselves and tell them exactly what would have happened if any of my own kids had tried to talk to their daddy or me in the manner that these kids "profess" to speak to their parents.</p>
<p>My husband and I raised our children on my family's ranch. Our children were 5th generation to be raised on this land and the heritage for them is powerful. Is that the key? I don't know. We had extended family in grandparents, great aunts, aunts, uncles, cousins and many close friends and a small community to help steer our children in the right path should they ever witness them straying. But I do know my husband had our children with him as much as I had them at home with me. Of course, not every family has that luxury, but they saw first-hand the hard work. And yes, they worked as well when they were growing up. They were on horseback with their daddy when he was riding pastures and they loved being on their horses and with their daddy. Later on, as they got older, they probably wanted to stay home and watch their TV shows, but they helped work and in that lifestyle, they learned work ethics which have shaped them in their adult lives now. We might have had the luxury of having our children with us all the time, but that was the only luxury we had. We didn't have everything - shoot, we didn't have much but we had each other, meals in our tummies, a roof over our heads and a love for our family unit to unequal any other!! Our children might have sassed us in their minds, but they knew what would have happened had they sassed us verbally. It just wasn't going to fly, Wilbur!!</p>
<p>I am not claiming to have interpreted the DaVinci Code, but love, respect and hard work make a huge difference in our children's lives. My husband and I didn't try to be our kids' best friends - that was a bonus when they grew up!!</p>
<p>Thank you for all you do.</p>
<p>Oklahoma</p>
Staff
2012-10-10T21:32:00Z
Getting Mom to Shut Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Getting-Mom-to-Shut-Up/-907553247177937810.html
2012-10-10T21:24:00Z
2012-10-10T21:24:00Z
<p>My parents split when I was 11 years old. My mom often spewed venomous, hateful comments about my dad, who not only never said anything negative about her, but insisted we treat her with respect.</p>
<p>After I had been listening to you for a couple of years, I finally had the ammunition to shut her up. As we nibbled pumpkin pie and sipped coffee after Thanksgiving dinner one year, as she was on one of her rants, she paused to take a breath. I chimed in with, "Well, YOU picked him." She suddenly stopped. I waited for an attack (by this time I was hearing a lot about being "my father's daughter"), but she just said, "You're right - I did." And she never said anything about him again.</p>
<p>Thank you for bringing that bit of peace into my life.</p>
<p>Ann</p>
Staff
2012-10-10T21:24:00Z
Choosing Between Your Children and Second Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Choosing-Between-Your-Children-and-Second-Husband/-918353168405289590.html
2012-10-09T20:39:00Z
2012-10-09T20:39:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I wanted to comment on your first caller on October 8, Julie. (Brief recap of the call: Julie had been married with two children. She divorced and got married again to a guy with 5 children. Her ex-husband sought full custody because she was planning to leave the state with her new husband and all the kids. If she left, the judge would grant her ex-husband's request and she would lose her kids. If she stayed, she could have 50-50 custody. Julie was torn since according to her religion, her husband was more important than her children.)</p>
<p>I was her back in the 90's before I found your show. I am a Christian, and believed as she said that the husband is No.1 before the children, and yes, in the original family, with birth mother and father together, God is first, then the husband/wife relationship, then the kids.</p>
<p>But once you are divorced and remarried, I agree, as you do, that your own children come first.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, the church is silent on this difference, and we are left to make up what we believe, which often leads to what we 'want'.</p>
<p>I have many regrets about bringing a 'husband' into my child's home when he was a teenager, and thinking God wanted me to put my husband before my child. My heart was torn every day.</p>
<p>Please keep 'preaching' this, and the difference between original family and step-family situations.</p>
<p>Blessings,</p>
<p>Tara</p>
Staff
2012-10-09T20:39:00Z
Saving My Marriage from Utter Destruction
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Saving-My-Marriage-from-Utter-Destruction/671304028402594293.html
2012-10-09T20:35:00Z
2012-10-09T20:35:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I just needed to send you a letter of thanks for your book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." I come from a broken family, with a mother who constantly bashed my father and outwardly hated men. She always taught me to depend on myself, because men would only let me down.</p>
<p>At the age of 14, I met a wonderful boy and quickly fell in love. He came from a wonderful loving family and grew to be a hardworking, old fashioned kind of guy. We married very young, at 19, and had our first child 9 months and 5 days later!</p>
<p>I was fortunate to receive your book as a wedding gift from one of the guests at my wedding. I have to admit, it wasn't until 2 years into my marriage that I actually read it. At the time, I had had my first child, and was pregnant with my second. I was starting to feel resentful, and began arguing with my husband frequently. My mother didn't help matters, constantly telling me everything she thought was wrong with my husband. As I read your book, it was like a light was turned on in my mind. All the instruction and example I should have gotten from my parents, I got from your book. I started treating my husband with respect, showing him affection, and taking care of all his needs.</p>
<p>We are now almost 8 years married. We have two beautiful children and are more in love than anyone I know. He is so wonderful, loving and attentive and I know it is in response to how I treat him. I just want to say thank you for teaching me how to be a proper wife and mother and saving my marriage from what could have been utter destruction. I had my husband read the book as well, and he agreed with every word you said. I tell everyone I can about your book and have purchased copies for many of my friends as they embarked on marriage. You are a Godsend. Keep giving your priceless advice even when it is unpopular in this generation where bashing men is acceptable and stay at home moms are looked down upon.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Elizabeth</p>
Staff
2012-10-09T20:35:00Z
Talking Kindly and Respectfully
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Talking-Kindly-and-Respectfully/630462571310663722.html
2012-10-08T20:52:00Z
2012-10-08T20:52:00Z
<p>Back talk or sassing back at our home is rewarded with work. The more the arguing and sassing, the more jobs get piled on. If jobs are not completed, privileges are revoked. Period. Our children have learned it is NOT WORTH IT, because we follow through. If they have time to be nasty, they have time to work. If they are pleasant and respectful, they are treated pleasantly and respectfully.</p>
<p>My husband and I also use kind verbiage towards each other, as children often model parents' behavior.</p>
<p>Another thing that has greatly helped our family is eliminating TV shows which, in the name of "comedy", promote disrespectful behavior towards parents, sarcasm, name-calling, and so forth. I have observed children who are exposed to these shows are adopting the behaviors, because they see them as "acceptable". Nothing could be further from the truth. In real life, when people talk like that, no one laughs. No one thinks it's funny. Feelings are hurt, pain is caused, and relationships are damaged. REAL relationships are based on mutual respect and love for each other.</p>
<p>Debbie</p>
Staff
2012-10-08T20:52:00Z
Kids Need Parents - They Already Have Friends
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Kids-Need-Parents---They-Already-Have-Friends/-861167706853540893.html
2012-10-08T20:41:00Z
2012-10-08T20:41:00Z
<p>Here are some reasons why I believe some parents don't parent with authority:<br /><br />1. They don't want their kids to be unhappy (or as unhappy as they are).</p>
<p>2. They have to deal with unhappy people all day at work so they don't want to come home to an unhappy child as well.</p>
<p>3. They have been stressed all day because they are working away from home and then have to work at home and will deal with the consequences later. They just need peace at the moment.</p>
<p>4. They have guilt because they know they should be raising their own children instead of farming them out to others so they do what they need to do to get the reaction that their kids still love them.</p>
<p>5. It's too hard. This is especially true of parents who haven't been raising their own kids (both parents working) and haven't gotten to see firsthand how being the authoritative parent (with love) actually makes it easier.</p>
<p>6. Some just don't have time as they are too caught up in their own lives.</p>
<p>I have to stop. It is so depressing thinking of kids living like this...</p>
<p>Liisa</p>
Staff
2012-10-08T20:41:00Z
Paying for College Doesn't Mean the Government
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Paying-for-College-Doesnt-Mean-the-Government/718139884783484206.html
2012-10-05T22:03:00Z
2012-10-05T22:03:00Z
<p>I am in a profession that helps families look for funding for college. I also volunteer with a non-profit that reserves a portion of their donations in a college fund, waiting for applicants. I'm not surprised to hear parents tell me that the public school system tells them there's no funding. They can't help it; they are just lemmings repeating what everyone else hears in the public school system.</p>
<p>There's funding EVERYWHERE! It very rarely comes from the university or government. Private entities, non-profits, and small businesses are the main suppliers that gift college funds. Parents will shove out $1000'S OF DOLLARS ON VIDEO GAMES, TOYS, AND CARS, BUT NOT THINK TO INVEST IN HIRING A GRANT RESEARCHER OR GUIDE.</p>
<p>How many times do you hear "I've done my 4 years, got good grades, and I can't find a job, or no one is hiring?!"</p>
<p>Companies, small businesses, and non-profits all over America are looking for their future employees in Jr. and High school students. You have to 'romance' your career, like your mate and develop a relationship early. Companies hire the students they funded through college. They are looking for students who step up early and show commitment, value, and passion at an early age; background is the key factor. What did you do in high school to be the one who stood out? I helped this one student who showed a vast commitment to his community. He engaged Boy Scouts in an animal rescue effort. He ran track, and interned at a radio station. I found several companies that admired his engagements and he proved himself worthy. He was offered 17 different grants from 17 different companies. (Of course he had to comply with some requirements, such as a grade point average, write some companies an essay, and others wanted a letter of recommendation from a community leader.) The funding totaled over $500,000. It came from sources such as The Boy Scouts of America, The Kiwanis Club, The Jackie Robinson Foundation, The A.S.P.C.A., Johnson & Johnson, Proctor & Gamble, as well as a few music production companies. He is paying the rest of his own way working at a part-time job in an industry he is passionate about, while studying oceanography. When he graduates, he has job offers from many of those same companies that funded his education. Why not? He is not only proven his value, but lives his passion while showing commitment and integrity. Businesses know who they will hire because they have an invested relationship. That is why his classmates cannot find a job, nor funding. They have not looked, asked, nor proven they DESERVE it (by the way, NOT ONE 'gifter' asked about his ethnicity, family income, nor 'disabilities'.)</p>
<p>Lisa</p>
Staff
2012-10-05T22:03:00Z
Parenting with Authority
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parenting-with-Authority/148878208444247576.html
2012-10-05T21:58:00Z
2012-10-05T21:58:00Z
<p>I work at a charter school and the biggest problem I see is the parents. Kids are always kids, but parents are spoiled brats compared to kids. They want convenience, they want it their way, and they want it now. They literally want the school to raise and discipline their kids for them so they can be the fun mom that feeds them junk and lets then play video games. But you better raise their kids the way they want you to or watch out!</p>
<p>I also think our society has been taught to see All authority as The Man, and fear punishment for showing any authority like disciplining your kids in public. Even on social websites I see women apologizing for having a great idea for a craft, and using the obligatory "It may not be right for you, but it works for me" for a recipe or craft!!</p>
<p>At my school, children love to work, they love accomplishment, they love boundaries. It is natural to them. It is the parents who teach them otherwise.</p>
<p>Keep up the good fight, Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>Rebekah</p>
Staff
2012-10-05T21:58:00Z
Hanging Up My Ego
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hanging-Up-My-Ego/-702598877332487094.html
2012-10-04T21:15:00Z
2012-10-04T21:15:00Z
<p>The #1 biggest and hardest part about being a SAHM is that darned ego. I thought it would be easy to hang it up on the door because it would be replaced by buckets of warm fuzzies and the complete inner satisfaction that I am doing a job that know one can do better than me.</p>
<p>Pause...just had to stop my boy from head bucking his sister.</p>
<p>There is a little of that, but on a scale of 1 to 10 it is usually a 2 instead of the premeditated 10. That is because I do lose my temper when that child will not take his nap (which he hasn't done since he was born) and I really wonder at times if maybe some one else could do better than me.</p>
<p>Pause...just had to keep sister from being smothered with a rattle.</p>
<p>And there is this consensus around adults that you should be able to control your children. If they don't behave, then just discipline them! How dare they bang the glass doors to the office building when coming to pick up father from work, after mother has been doing the laundry at the laundry mat while trying to keep her toddler from running into the street for the past 3 hours... And if you do discipline them, better stick with weak time outs because if the neighbor sees you spank or yell at your kid they will call the cops on you.</p>
<p>Pause…to look at the airplane and keep the baby from being rocked to death.</p>
<p>Okay, back to the ego issue. So it's a lonely afternoon. I am looking at my house which has been cleaned several times but looks like a complete disaster. And the thought comes to me...what if I was single. What if I was still pursuing my career as an amazing musician? Then I wouldn't know how horrible of a person I really am that being a mother has taught me to know about myself. I would still think I was amazing.</p>
<p>I can't help but hear my neighbor practicing singing. She is a professional. What I always wanted to be. And I glance at my flute which hasn't been pulled out since my 3 month old was born. I thought I could keep up my skills as a mother, but I can't when pulling out the instrument could result in it being destroyed! And then there is my other neighbor who is also a professional musician and always has amazing stories to tell about her career. Come on! How can that not pull my heart strings? I can just hear the devil angel on my shoulder, "Just look who they are...and just look at you and your dirty house."</p>
<p>Oh well, time to get back to cleaning, enough complaining. Because I know there are no egos in heaven. Maybe I am still amazing after all.</p>
<p>Pause... to play with a jump rope.</p>
<p>Julie</p>
Staff
2012-10-04T21:15:00Z
Ripping Up My Parents' 'Parent Cards'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ripping-Up-My-Parents-Parent-Cards/-135543659732250459.html
2012-10-04T21:12:00Z
2012-10-04T21:12:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have wanted to write you for some time now. I just don't know how to say thank you in words. There are so many days when I stop and say, "Dr. Laura saved my life". I know you hear that a lot but it is most certainly true. You became my mother in my mid-twenties.</p>
<p>I met my husband when I was 17 and married him when I was 22. I did not know it then but I needed to escape my parents and he offered me the chance to pretend to be a grown-up. He, too, was stuck with parents who were not the warmest. The early years were tough and we treated each other pretty crappy. I was the most disrespectful wife there could have ever been.</p>
<p>Something amazing happened though. He had started listening to you at work and then so did I. I was listening but not hearing you and still treating him pretty crappy. I asked him for a divorce and started figuring out who got what. One day on your program I realized that I was making a huge mistake. We had history together no one could ever replace. He was a good man and we could make it work. Shortly after we started making it work, I found out I was pregnant with our one and only son. We came together stronger than ever and our son is an amazing child who has never known what it was like to be in day care. My husband is the most amazing man on the planet and he still gives me butterflies. I have learned from you so much about love and what it really is. I truly do respect and admire him and I know true love because of it.</p>
<p>On the other hand I have torn up my parents' "parent card" and I have been so thankful for the gift you have given me of knowing when it was time. I have also put all my energy from that into the parent-child relationship that I have with my son. I miss having a mom and dad but I don't miss mine.</p>
<p>I laughed today hearing your intro, at the thought of my mom calling you and getting me on the phone! She would not get very far with you. You, Dr. Laura, are my mom. Thank you for all the advice you have given me. You have held my hand through some tough stuff and patted me on the back for the great stuff. By the way, my mother-in-law was putting you down one day when I was listening to you and I turned to her and said sweetly "You do realize because of her, your son and your grandson have a better life. Right?" I will never forget the look on her face. It was priceless.</p>
<p>Monica</p>
Staff
2012-10-04T21:12:00Z
He-Man Girly-Girl and Pink Guns
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Man-Girly-Girl-and-Pink-Guns/-241818066139246715.html
2012-10-03T22:19:00Z
2012-10-03T22:19:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I very much enjoyed your telling us about your pink camo gun bag. Your shooting lessons and loving pink reminds me of my daughter, now 25.</p>
<p>She quit Girl Scouts because Boy Scouts had the adventures. The moment she was old enough to be a Boy Scout leader she dove in, full of passion and love for adventure!</p>
<p>One day I about had a heart attack, she was 6 years old, when I saw she had climbed a tree, wearing a dress and roller skates.</p>
<p>So no surprise to us she is a police officer. For a graduation present from the police academy we got her a pink .45. It was a perfect gift and she totally loves it!! LOL I don't remember the brand of gun, I'm sorry. I'm just learning about guns. I'm going to a concealed carry class toward the end of this month.</p>
<p>Thank you for being a great example of excellence and adventure while being a total woman girly girl!</p>
<p>Hugs,</p>
<p>Lisa</p>
Staff
2012-10-03T22:19:00Z
I Have to Get Creative to Exercise
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Have-to-Get-Creative-to-Exercise/-987266847576503255.html
2012-10-03T22:17:00Z
2012-10-03T22:17:00Z
<p>I have so enjoyed the encouragement of the other e-mails on making time to exercise. I thought I'd throw out a few of my own. Maybe it will get others thinking creatively.</p>
<p>I am a farmer and mother of 4 "kids"...19-25. I homeschooled when they were very young. I had to wake up early to walk/run with the dog for exercise and sanity while my husband was still in the house. Later, we all swam so I could get a nap after they were worn out! These days, they are in college classes, or working. I have more freedom, but also more farm work. During harvest time, I have to trade swimming for spreading manure on the pastures. I just work to keep my heart rate up. I also found that when possible, I plan ahead to bike to places. I trade the time I would have had to drive for part of my workout. That way I only have to find maybe 25 minutes to get an hour's worth of workout! Nice trade, and it saves me fuel!</p>
<p>Oh, yea, and I am 53. I have had 2 knee surgeries from injuries, so biking is easier on my joints. I am so grateful that I can move and balance!</p>
<p>Sonja</p>
Staff
2012-10-03T22:17:00Z
What's Wrong with "MALES" Today? Just Be a MAN!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Whats-Wrong-with-MALES-Today-Just-Be-a-MAN!/580066643585802455.html
2012-10-02T22:00:00Z
2012-10-02T22:00:00Z
<p>I was on a shuttle at the Phoenix airport...a 10 minute ride to my car. It was VERY full and I was lucky enough to find a seat after my exhausting trip. As I sat, an elderly lady, with a cane, entered the bus. She slowly struggled up the stairs. I glanced around expecting one of the NINE "MALES" around me to get up, help her, and give her their seat. Not one got up. So I excused my 5"2, 128lb self, took her luggage, got her settled in my seat and stood over her holding her bag.</p>
<p>The "MALES" sighed, as if they were inconvenienced because we were being SOOOO slow. I was livid and kept shaking my head. This seemed unreal. My dad would roll over in his grave. Come on "MEN", earn that title.</p>
<p>Thanks for all you do Dr. Laura. We love you in Kansas.</p>
<p>Toni</p>
Staff
2012-10-02T22:00:00Z
My Values Have Changed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Values-Have-Changed/775895309008889164.html
2012-10-02T21:56:00Z
2012-10-02T21:56:00Z
<p>I am a long time listener. I am on my second marriage. My first marriage's courtship was long-distance and based more on the excitement of getting back together after each absence. He wasn't very responsible and mentioned a few times he would stay home and I could work to support us. Once I realized I didn't want him to be the father of my 84 kids, I divorced him.</p>
<p>My current husband and I have a much more stable, old-fashioned marriage. He works and I mostly stay home and work in my family pancake-catering business, <a href="http://www.chriscakes.com/" target="_blank">Chris Cakes</a>, part time when a Grandma or Daddy can watch our little girl. I used to think I wouldn't have a "traditional" marriage. I assumed I would just put my kid in day care. After listening to you and then having my daughter, I knew I would never have the heart to leave her for the majority of her waking hours with anyone else.</p>
<p>It was a little hard to give up the dramatic high school exciting kind of love for the real kind of lasting marital love. My husband is the mostly strong silent type and it isn't often I hear anything romantic from him, but I recently asked him if he thought we were soul mates. I expected an eye roll or a sigh, but instead he looked thoughtful for a minute and said that we are soul mates - soul mates in progress.</p>
<p>Thank you for opening my eyes to my vital role in our home.</p>
<p>Amanda</p>
Staff
2012-10-02T21:56:00Z
Holding my Tiny Baby
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Holding-my-Tiny-Baby/426432237776083470.html
2012-10-01T22:07:00Z
2012-10-01T22:07:00Z
<p>The first time I held my baby girl, I felt more alive than I had ever felt before in my life. It was almost like life had just begun for both of us. I had no fear, no stress, no hesitation, just pure joy. I felt the overwhelming presence of God and extreme peace. I felt like whatever struggles in life I went through, this "reward" would always outweigh those. I did not want the moment to end because I was not sure if I would ever get it back. However, when my sweet boy was born ... there was God holding me and the overwhelming breathlessness and peace once again. That joy was returned again when I held my beautiful grandson for the first time. It was like God was telling me, "Now, you are truly blessed!" Then came my granddaughter. Being in the room and watching my daughter give birth to her daughter was almost too much. It was as if the air was sucked out of the room (in a good way) and we were all moving in slow motion. I almost felt faint with joy. As if, God was our only air ... all consuming.<br /> <br />I always have felt truly blessed by my two babies. Now, I am doubly blessed by my two grandbabies. I AM my kiddos Momma and my grandkiddos Gram-grams!</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura for taking a stand for REAL WOMEN everyday!</p>
<p>Blessings and Hugs,</p>
<p>Diane</p>
Staff
2012-10-01T22:07:00Z
Discipline Them and You'll Earn Their Respect
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Discipline-Them-and-Youll-Earn-Their-Respect/-507210598495228915.html
2012-10-01T22:06:00Z
2012-10-01T22:06:00Z
<p>When my daughter was about 12 (1990), she had a friend sleep over and I was to drop them off to meet other friends at a theme park. Before I dropped them off, I had to do some grocery shopping. My daughter's friend made a snide remark to me about not dropping them off first. I said, "If you don't like it, we can just not go at all."</p>
<p>I found out later from my daughter that she let her friend "have it" over the way she talked to me. She told her never to talk to her mother that way. I was so proud of her. Instead of just siding with her friend and being a spoiled pre-adolescent brat, she stood up for me.</p>
<p>This same daughter left me a letter in my dresser after we dropped her off at college thanking me for the way we raised her and she understood why we grounded her at times when she didn't behave. If a mother ever had to come to me to talk about my any of my daughters' behavior, they would have been disciplined in addition to what that mother did.</p>
<p>Kathy</p>
Staff
2012-10-01T22:06:00Z
Daddy and Daughter
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Daddy-and-Daughter/510206034642068408.html
2012-09-28T19:25:00Z
2012-09-28T19:25:00Z
<p>That moment when I first held my daughter is still indelibly etched in my mind. I had spent the last several hours sitting next to my wife, letting her crush the life out of my fingers with each contraction and reminding her to breathe. I was tired, my body was sore from leaning over the arm of the uncomfortable hospital chair for the past three hours while we waited for the doctor to arrive so he could catch the baby....</p>
<p>But when I held her... it was in one moment the most amazing and wonderful feeling. This was my little girl. She was the most beautiful thing in the world. And, with her skin all flushed dark from birthing, her long spindly arms and legs folded up against her long, skinny body (13 inches long and only 5 and a half pounds), her head all flattened and curved back by the delivery, I looked down at her and thought, 'It's an alien from the movie "Alien."'</p>
<p>Even though she's nearly 21 years old and away at college studying psychology, she and I still laugh about that sometimes and we talk every weekend as daddy and daughter.</p>
<p>Charles</p>
Staff
2012-09-28T19:25:00Z
Wanted and Needed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Wanted-and-Needed/133759973831357179.html
2012-09-28T19:22:00Z
2012-09-28T19:22:00Z
<p>So I have been struggling lately with my marriage, and I feel like it is my fault. I am constantly looking for proof that my husband hates me even though I know he loves me and shows me every day by serving me and helping take care of our kids.</p>
<p>I couldn't understand what I was being so sensitive about until yesterday. While reading a parenting book, I finally got it. It was talking about how kids need to feel wanted or they will feel rejected and spend their lives rejecting society and themselves. I learned that in my own head I have been rejecting myself, telling myself I am not wanted and therefore looking for proof from my husband that I am not wanted. When I didn't find much proof from him, I tried to make up things by being extremely sensitive to everything he did and said.</p>
<p>Now I am practicing telling myself I am wanted and needed by my family and God. And as I learn to accept myself, I am also trying to teach my children they are wanted. I am excited to learn with my children the importance of being alive and needed for God's own purposes.</p>
<p>I know how I got my husband - I acted confident like there was something I could give him. I need to go back to taking my importance for granted. Then I don't need proof from him or others that I am wanted. And then I can spend my time serving my family instead of feeling sorry for myself.</p>
<p>Julie</p>
Staff
2012-09-28T19:22:00Z
Word Gets Around
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Word-Gets-Around/-360526408651486906.html
2012-09-27T21:19:00Z
2012-09-27T21:19:00Z
<p>Have you ever wondered what your loved one says about you when you're not around? I had. Recently, I've had two experiences which not only answered that question, but left me with a resounding and overwhelming feeling of being loved and adored by my husband.</p>
<p>First, my father went to the barber to which Hubby normally goes. While there, the barber said "Boy your son-in-law REALLY loves your daughter." My father grinned and asked how he knew that. The barber went on to repeat a few of the things Hubby had said. My father then went home, beaming and repeated the conversation to my mother, who later (beaming) told me about the encounter. It spread joy to my parents and then to me.</p>
<p>Second was at deer camp where we hunt together. He'd gotten there a few days before me, as I had to work, but upon my arrival, complete strangers who were camped nearby came to meet me, saying "We had to meet his awesome wife!" and "Man, he was telling us how you do things together like hunting and abalone diving, and we were all a jealous." It made me laugh and blush, but it felt great!</p>
<p>Last year, at this time, we were having difficulties, fighting constantly, and barely speaking. I had listened to your show and decided I had to do something to fix my marriage so I picked up a copy of "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." I started with finding two compliments to pay him each day. I saw immediate changes in his behavior so I kept digging through the book for more insight.</p>
<p>Today, I couldn't ask for a better marriage.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>Laurie</p>
Staff
2012-09-27T21:19:00Z
Moving On with Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Moving-On-with-Life/82890475065953162.html
2012-09-27T21:16:00Z
2012-09-27T21:16:00Z
<p>Thank Dr Laura for all that you do. It was around this time last year that I picked up a audio book from you called "Bad Childhood, Good Life". After listening to it umpteen times (I travel a lot so it's a good listen on the long road) I realized it was time for me to stop blaming my father for my weight problems and move on. I mean after all I'm 35. It is time I moved on from playing victim.</p>
<p>Food has always been my comfort and drug. I didn't realize how foggy and depressed I was until I started changing my diet and forced myself to exercise. I used to suffer from 3-day migraines, now just due to diet changes and exercise they are down to 1/2 - 1 day headaches.</p>
<p>I feel - phenomenal. Now I am still overweight and working on getting it off. But now instead of just acknowledging that I have a problem, I am now doing something about it. I am choosing to be the victor in my life instead of the victim. Thank you for giving me the push to go and do the right thing!</p>
<p>Cheers,</p>
<p>Carla</p>
Staff
2012-09-27T21:16:00Z
Always Time to Exercise
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Always-Time-to-Exercise/617245116930750073.html
2012-09-26T20:57:00Z
2012-09-26T20:57:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>For me personally, exercise is easy to fit into my schedule because it's my job!! I'm a personal trainer, Zumba instructor, corporate trainer, etc. So I get paid to work out, so to speak. However, I am the one who hears all the excuses, "I don't have time to work out!" or "I'm too tired after work to go to the gym!" or "I have to help my kids with their homework, soccer, piano, fill in the blank." or (my very favorite!) "I don't like to sweat!!"</p>
<p>To which I say....BALONEY!!!!</p>
<p>I am a single mom, widowed, raising two children, am in the best shape I've ever been in, and I'm about to turn fifty. Am I this way because I am vain and trying to snag a man? Absolutely not!! I don't even date. I'm trying to stay in the best shape for my own health, for my business, but also so I can be around to raise my children and enjoy my grandchildren. If you want fitness badly enough, there is ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, a time to exercise. When I was a coach and taught school, I would wake up at 5am and run 6 miles before work. It helped me start my day with a smile and lots of energy.</p>
<p>I am heart broken at the state of our country and the way so many people mistreat their bodies. What they don't realize is the more they gain, the more they are destroying their bodies. Food is their poison, their drug. Nobody wants to say that because it might offend them, but it's the truth.</p>
<p>I love and respect your position on fitness and healthy eating and thank you for speaking the truth!! You are a role model to me and I plan to be running up mountains in 15 years just like you!!</p>
<p>God bless you! You have filled an enormous gap in my life since my mama died this past year. Your straight talk, no-nonsense approach is how she raised me. I'm forever grateful that I found you!!</p>
<p>Your forever fan and almost daughter -</p>
<p>Kelli</p>
Staff
2012-09-26T20:57:00Z
Making Exercise a Priority
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Exercise-a-Priority/-589390156968041732.html
2012-09-26T20:55:00Z
2012-09-26T20:55:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am a homeschooling mother of 5 kids. I also teach piano to 15 additional kids per week.</p>
<p>How do I fit in exercise? I go to bed early and get up before my kids awake to run 5 miles per day. I used to walk, but 5 months ago I decided to try running. I have cut my time down from 1 1/2 hours per day to 45 minutes per day. I also have the benefit of better sleep, better health, and my lung capacity has increased (I am a singer). I like Nike's "Just Do It" philosophy, and I use that phrase on myself when it is cold, dark, and rainy! When I first told people I was running all I heard was "it's so bad on your knees." Of course that was from non-exercisers. My knees feel great, even after having 5 kids, and I've never felt better.</p>
<p>Rebecca</p>
Staff
2012-09-26T20:55:00Z
Disciplining Other People's Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Disciplining-Other-Peoples-Kids/-585975778680613940.html
2012-09-25T21:04:00Z
2012-09-25T21:04:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I was babysitting the two oldest children of a good friend, ages 7 and 5. Our kids play together all the time and these kids know me.</p>
<p>Well, Mr. 5-year-old and my 5-year-old got in a fight. I didn't see who started it, but it was over a toy. As I was approaching them (he was choking my 5-year-old), I was telling him to stop choking/hitting/fighting. He wouldn't stop.</p>
<p>Now, the story came out that my child took the car away from him. But the fighting wasn't okay with me, so I put them both in a time out on separate couches. He didn't like it and started hitting me as I walked him to the couch. My son was gobsmacked that this boy was hitting his own mother and told him to stop.</p>
<p>I was worried about telling my friend how her son behaved, but honestly, I'm not interested in having this boy over to play in the future. He sat on the couch and lectured me on how I shouldn't "get mad." Believe me, Dr. Laura, I was keeping my cool. He was lucky he wasn't my own child. I told my friend what happened, but I'm not sure how much got through. She made an excuse for her son's behavior, but I expected that. Honestly, it's sad.</p>
<p>I don't know what the answer is for everyone else, but if you're at my house, the rules apply. I won't spank another child, or put soap in their mouth, but I can utilize corners and time-out chairs until they're worn out. And you won't get invited back.</p>
<p>Jennie</p>
Staff
2012-09-25T21:04:00Z
Seeing the Red Flags and Calling It Off
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Seeing-the-Red-Flags-and-Calling-It-Off/-432231777886456108.html
2012-09-25T20:58:00Z
2012-09-25T20:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My first serious relationship broke up because I saw the writing on the wall that we were not compatible.</p>
<p>He was possessive with a tendency toward a temper that flared. As time went by, he became angry about me seeing my few friends and he got angry and threw a handful of nails at me because he was frustrated with a fix-it project. Then he tried to manipulate me by using my deceased brother as leverage. With all of this, I realized this was not the person I wanted to be married to for the rest of my life. So with only two months to go before our wedding and all the plans complete except the flowers and his tuxedo, I cancelled it and never regretted it. I took my wedding dress home from the shop in a box, the engagement party was cancelled, and I returned the jeweler's custom wedding ring wax form. I was 25 and feeling like time was marching by.</p>
<p>It would be 6-7 years later before I finally walked the aisle, and it was well worth the wait.</p>
<p>Eileen</p>
Staff
2012-09-25T20:58:00Z
My Brand of Feminism: I Am Not a Victim
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Brand-of-Feminism:-I-Am-Not-a-Victim/-963616675875874760.html
2012-09-24T21:45:00Z
2012-09-24T21:45:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura -</p>
<p>A little over a year ago, I wrote a post on my family blog after I had my son. I had spent those first few months adjusting to motherhood, largely in my pj's and sweatpants. I decided my husband had seen enough of me like that, and figured out a 15 minute routine I could do to look a little more like the woman he had dated. I shared this in my post. It was no big deal, I thought - until a group of feminists found my blog…</p>
<p>I was called a chattel, a sex-slave, profoundly stupid. It was suggested to me that even with all my striving to be the perfect wife (with my extensive and time-consuming 15 minute primping routine) my husband still might leave me someday and there will have been nothing I could have done to prevent it!</p>
<p>So, in response to their harsh words and reactions, I took the time to write a blog about what <strong><a href="http://howdyhepworths.blogspot.com/2012/09/my-brand-of-feminism-i-am-not-victim.html" target="_blank">I thought about too many feminists </a></strong>out there - that they actually create oppression where there isn't any! And, that my kind of feminism is one which empowers, one that recognizes we are only truly victims of our own poor choices.</p>
<p>Thanks for all you do to empower women to be the best they can be, for themselves, their men, and their families. I believe the best way to make a difference in the world, is right from within the walls of our own homes. I only wish all those feminists could recognize the great opportunity they so readily seem to pass up.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Jami</p>
Staff
2012-09-24T21:45:00Z
Family Taking Care of Each Other
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Family-Taking-Care-of-Each-Other/-701222353386697794.html
2012-09-24T21:43:00Z
2012-09-24T21:43:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am a long time listener and love your show. I listen to you almost every day. I hear a lot of people that don't get along with family members.</p>
<p>Two years ago, my then 79-year-old dad called and asked if I was "sitting down." I knew this was going to be the worst call of my life. My then 75-year-old mom had a major heart attack with emergency quadruple bypass surgery. She was in the hospital for 5 days. When she came home, my brother, two sisters and I were there to help get Mom settled. My sisters organized all of her medication, scheduling when and what to take. I bathed Mom until she was able to do it herself. My sister-in-law cleaned the house when needed. Other family members helped where they could. We did not complain or bicker because someone was not doing as much as another. We all helped at what we were good at, and my parents appreciated it all.</p>
<p>Mom is doing really well now. My parents do not want to be a burden to us, but they accept our help when needed/offered. We all live within an hour of my parents and get together for the major holidays and other occasions throughout the year. We always have fun and laugh a lot when together. "We are a family" even though we each have our own families.</p>
<p>My parents just celebrated their 58th wedding anniversary.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Abbie - proud mom of 2 daughters and wife for 28 years.</p>
Staff
2012-09-24T21:43:00Z
Choosing a Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Choosing-a-Husband/-805378679537516955.html
2012-09-21T23:56:00Z
2012-09-21T23:56:00Z
<p>I was divorced in 1984 after 18 years of marriage, not being aware of you when I married the first time in 1964. It was terrible. After dating to see what I didn't want in a husband, I was in the shower where I did my clear thinking and said to myself, "Of course, these are the things I want." Now I was ready to possible remarry. The year was 1987. I wanted…</p>
<p>1. a Widower (because I wasn't a nasty divorcee therefore I didn't 't want to deal with one who was. )<br />2. Him to have grown children. I didn't want to raise children.<br />3. Someone established in his career and not trying to find himself. <br />4. He had to be between 45-55 because I was 44.</p>
<p>To my amazement some time later I was fixed up with such a man!!!!<br />He had been my Pharmacist when I was married. Now, he is in my life for 24 wonderful years. I got all my wishes and more. I feel women should have a clear picture of what they want in a husband.</p>
<p>As you always say "if you don't respect yourself how can you get respect in return"</p>
<p>Thank you not only for your time but for your advice.</p>
<p>Lillian</p>
Staff
2012-09-21T23:56:00Z
Nana and her Sewing Machine
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Nana-and-her-Sewing-Machine/103296069908251289.html
2012-09-21T23:54:00Z
2012-09-21T23:54:00Z
<p>I am the "Nana" to 9 wonderful grandchildren--the product of two of my four children (the daughters). The children range in age from 15 months to 9 years. I am blessed to live in close proximity to all of them, and the "cousins" spend much time together.</p>
<p>I find myself getting roped into many of the activities I thought I was done with when my kids all grew up! The latest was creating the soccer banner for my 5-year-old granddaughter. My daughter was here with the three younger children, and I was machine embroidering each players name on the arm of their "pink panda". Her younger sister, the 3-year-old granddaughter, was sitting next to me at my sewing machine, and the thread was catching and jamming. I was muttering under my breath when the pipsqueak piped up with, "Nana, is your sewing machine having ISSUES?" I nearly fell off my chair. Oh did I tell you that her mother and I are both marriage and family therapists??? (By the way, other than a couple of hours on Sunday afternoons when her hubby stays with the kids, she's a stay-at-home mommy to 5 kids.)</p>
<p>I love your show, and not only has it enhanced my marriage of 42 years, it has made me a better therapist! I know you can't wait until the grandchildren arrive, but let me tell you...they are worth waiting for! I'm now just waiting for my sons to get married and add a few more! However they made it clear they aren't in competition with their sisters! Thank God.</p>
<p>Patricia</p>
Staff
2012-09-21T23:54:00Z
It's Okay to Not Always Like Your Spouse
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-Okay-to-Not-Always-Like-Your-Spouse/749075926586602863.html
2012-09-20T21:57:00Z
2012-09-20T21:57:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,<br /><br />My parents have been married for 43 years. Before my husband and I got married, my dad explained there are days when you will not be happy with your spouse. You might even feel you don't like them. And that's okay. Actually, it is totally normal. However, that doesn't mean you will stop loving them. <br /><br />Ten years later... My husband and I don't always agree. But we never get into a full out fight because one of us will stop and say, "Hey, I don't like you right now." That's our cue to know to back up and let the other have some room. And despite not liking each other at that moment, we still and always will love each other.<br /><br />Kate</p>
Staff
2012-09-20T21:57:00Z
The Power of Grandchildren
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Power-of-Grandchildren/834843700455858963.html
2012-09-20T21:54:00Z
2012-09-20T21:54:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My parents have been married 57 years. I see them now and could only hope that I have a relationship like theirs when I am in my 70s and 80s. However, growing up their relationship was nothing like it is now. My parents lived in separate bedrooms and showed absolutely no affection toward each other - and none toward us kids. I swore I would not be anything like my parents were.</p>
<p>However, once I married and had kids, my parents changed. Being around their grandchildren brought something out in them that I had never seen growing up. They became affectionate toward my kids, toward each other and even started giving me hugs and compliments. It was a bit strange at first, but now I can only hope that as I grow into my senior years, I can have the love and support toward my spouse that my parents now have for each other.</p>
<p>Wendy</p>
Staff
2012-09-20T21:54:00Z
Nude Photos of Spouse
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Nude-Photos-of-Spouse/-783593788850214878.html
2012-09-19T21:54:00Z
2012-09-19T21:54:00Z
<p>The other day you had a caller who was disturbed her husband had nude photos of her.</p>
<p>After you verified there was no risk the husband was sharing images with others, which would be horrifying, you went deeper.</p>
<p>The caller seemed clueless to the fact this was a compliment to her -- that her husband was "hot" for her. That her husband was looking at images of her and not images of other women.</p>
<p>You tried to point this out to her.</p>
<p>However I feel you did not go far enough when you called her a prude about it. If my wife gave me a hard time about this, like the caller was about to do to her husband, I would conclude not only that (a) she is uncomfortable with her body; I would also conclude (b) she does not love me. Not deeply. And she doesn't have the hots for me.</p>
<p>I was relieved to hear from this call you don't think husbands like this are weird. If only wives understood how visual husbands are, that visual isn't wrong (far from it), and how important having the hots for each other is to the bond of marriage. My wife doesn't need to look like Halle Berry. I love my 50-year-old wife's real body. She takes good care of it, and it's all mine!</p>
<p>And yes I have pictures that I treasure. Just for me.</p>
<p>Alan</p>
Staff
2012-09-19T21:54:00Z
Words of Wisdom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Words-of-Wisdom/-101014308726262297.html
2012-09-19T21:50:00Z
2012-09-19T21:50:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I thought you would enjoy the following "proverbs". We were sent these by a Wing staff person at Hill AFB, Utah</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">1. Accept the fact that some days you'rethe pigeon, and some days you're the statue! <br />2. Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them. <br />3. Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. <br />4. Drive carefully... It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker. <br />5. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. <br />6. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.<br />7. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. <br />8. Never buy a car you can't push. <br />9. Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on. <br />10. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. <br />11. Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late. <br />12. The second mouse gets the cheese.<br />13. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. <br />14. Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live. <br />15. You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.<br />16. Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.<br />17. We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box. <br />18. A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.<br />19. Have an awesome day and know that someone thought about you today. <br />20. It was me, your friend!</p>
<p>I'm your biggest supporter!</p>
<p>Cary</p>
Staff
2012-09-19T21:50:00Z
My Husband's Note
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husbands-Note/418261063367019600.html
2012-09-18T21:30:00Z
2012-09-18T21:30:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>The best wedding I ever attended was on our 17th anniversary in 1999. The wedding was for a colleague, and the couple had shacked up for several years before they decided to get married. It was obvious throughout the proceedings that these two knew nothing of what the marriage covenant means. So, I was anxious to hear what kind of vows they were going to make!</p>
<p>Right at the moment their vows began, my husband reached into his pocket and handed me a note:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">"Now for some vows of my own.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">I will never break our covenant.<br />I will never leave you.<br />I will always be faithful to you.<br />I will love no other as long as we both live.<br />I will keep trying to improve as a husband.<br />I will be open to your suggestions and corrections.<br />I will strive to make you feel loved.<br />I will do what I can to lighten your burdens.<br />I will try to be understanding.<br />I will see to it that you are well taken care of.<br />I can't promise to be perfect,<br />but I do promise to repent and keep trying when I fall short."</p>
<p>No one else in the crowd knew why tears were flowing down my cheeks!</p>
<p>I could tell you so much more about my wonderful husband of 30 years, so maybe I will sometime again!</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Happily Married Wife</p>
Staff
2012-09-18T21:30:00Z
We Need to 'Update our Status' as Parents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/We-Need-to-Update-our-Status-as-Parents/950944497741424180.html
2012-09-18T21:28:00Z
2012-09-18T21:28:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I was on Facebook today and someone had posted this as their status, "I just dropped my daughter off at her little school and she cried hysterically. Then I walked away crying. This mommy stuff can be brutal. Holy cow. Any tips from you parents out there on how to handle this one? Ughhh."</p>
<p>Her daughter is 2 years old! One of the responses was this....</p>
<p>"Just remember that it is wonderful for her to be social and learn about the world outside of your home. You are making her a better person. She will learn and grow and learn independence. This is a good thing (even if it is hard now) Stay strong, you are doing great!"</p>
<p>I wanted to scream. Do people just tell themselves that to make themselves not feel like terrible parents? My son is 2 1/2 years old. I am at home with him (even though it meant cutting our income down to 25% of what we were making. This has been a huge sacrifice, but not really because the bonuses of me being at home ridiculously outweigh any negatives. I am a better, happier, sweeter wife! Me and my son are able to do all kinds of things TOGETHER! He is still able to be "social and learn about world outside of our home" because I AM THERE WITH HIM TEACHING HIM ALL ABOUT IT!!!!!</p>
<p>Thank you for your support of at home moms. I am so grateful to have you in my ear everyday helping me be a better wife and mommy.</p>
<p>Kathryn</p>
Staff
2012-09-18T21:28:00Z
Changing Course
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changing-Course/951841300873730812.html
2012-09-17T22:40:00Z
2012-09-17T22:40:00Z
<p>Three years ago my husband and I were so out-of-sync with one another that our marriage was officially starting to crumble; we were systematically taking steps for a divorce. I have NEVER been in such a dark place in all my life! I knew that this decision would affect 3 others' lives (our children).</p>
<p>Since I am an independent-type woman and do not wear my problems on my sleeve, I suffered in silence. But, an angel was sent to me. An amazing woman moved a few streets over and happened to attend my same church where we met. We started running in the mornings together. Each morning she was my therapist just listening to my heartache. One day, though, she encouraged me to do something -- to read your "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" book. I had such enmity towards my husband that it took days for bits of my pride to be chinked away. After several weeks of counseling with my angel-friend, prayer on my knees, listening to that inner Spirit guide me, and buckets of tears, I implemented a few of your truths. My husband responded!!</p>
<p>Our progress was so slow because of our open scars and because of the need to rewind a divorce-is-eminent mindset. In the end, our relationship was stronger than ever before -- probably because we had gone to hell and back. One evening after a surprise dinner I had made for my honey (with the kids off to a friend's house) and some amazing lovemaking, in the afterglow of it all he asked excitedly, "Will you marry me?" as we laughed and burst with so much love for one another. During that moment, and too-numerous-to-count since then, I feel deeply Shakespeare's words: "I can no answer make but thanks, and thanks."</p>
<p>I had no idea of the spiritual, emotional, and physical impact our stronger marriage would have upon my soul. I became healthier physically than ever before, dropping much weight. I felt unstoppable because life was rockin'! So my honey asked me what I wanted to do with this new passion. That sent me on a journey to become a certified personal trainer, certified nutritionist, and certified weight management consultant. I run my training business out of my studio gym in my home. Over this past year I have found myself using your principles and many others to be somewhat of a life coach for the women I train physically.</p>
<p>I decided to put my experience and training into a real program to help more women that I cannot personally train. It's been a lot of work writing my training program, but a few weeks ago Tate Publishing offered me a contract to publish my program. If I help one mother out there it will be worth all of the work because she will affect generations. As my mind continues nonstop to think of how I can expand my business and follow the compellings from God to do this, you popped in my head this morning. I would be remiss if I didn't simply say, "Thank you, Dr. Laura, for following what YOU are compelled to do."</p>
<p>Heather</p>
Staff
2012-09-17T22:40:00Z
Enlisting in the United States Navy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Enlisting-in-the-United-States-Navy/736253523604418347.html
2012-09-17T22:37:00Z
2012-09-17T22:37:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>Recently you asked, "What is the smartest decision you ever made?" I don't even have to think about it. It was the day I decided to drop out of college (in my third year) and enlist in the United States Navy. It was a quick decision, and one that wasn't necessarily what my parents wanted me to do at the time, but I have NEVER regretted it.</p>
<p>About two weeks after I made the decision, I was in boot camp. The Navy taught me how to read, write and speak a foreign language, fluently, in less than a year. I traveled to distant lands and learned how people live in other places. I learned patience (well, at least I have more now than I did then!), how to communicate effectively, how to understand what is actually in my control (and what isn't), and perhaps most importantly, I gained the confidence to do anything I set my mind to. I spent 8 years on active duty, then left to finish my education and become an attorney.</p>
<p>Ultimately, I spent a total of 22 years-plus in uniform, retiring from the reserve force almost 7 years ago. The friendships I made in the Navy are the forever kind, and so is the relationship I have with my husband, who is a retired active duty officer and the love of my life. After 22 years, there is just too much to tell about why this was the smartest decision in my life, but surely it was.</p>
<p>Thank you for the opportunity to email you about this.</p>
<p>Very truly yours,</p>
<p>Mary Ann</p>
Staff
2012-09-17T22:37:00Z
Kids' Kooky Friends
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Kids-Kooky-Friends/950515290246790892.html
2012-09-14T22:08:00Z
2012-09-14T22:08:00Z
<p>Dr Laura,</p>
<p>Your recent comments about kids' kooky friends made me think about when my children were young.</p>
<p>One day my oldest daughter came home from school and was telling me about another young girl (4th grade) who seemed to pick on everyone. In my daughters's eyes, she got the brunt of it. She was frustrated by this and asked me what she should do. We talked for several minutes and discussed the fact this girl was fairly new to the area and the school, and had not really made any friends. In asking my daughter some questions we decided the girl's actions may be because she didn't have any friends she was feeling hurt and acting out in an attempt to spread the hurt. I suggested my daughter tell the girl the next time she was being mean, that she didn't like or appreciate that behavior, but she thought they could be friends if the girl could be nice. (So basically she was saying I like you, but not what you are doing.) The change was instant and they became friends. It didn't take long before the girl was feeling accepted and welcome with more of the children as well.</p>
<p>This story is very tender to me for many reasons but the greatest reason is because a few short months after this the young girl tragically died in a freak accident while hiking with a friend of the family. All of the children in the school class had learned to accept this sweet child and felt the loss. The parents had a group of these children sing a tender little song at the memorial for this child. And when I think about it I realize that just a few short weeks before this child was feeling friendless and alone but the kindness of "one" made all the difference in the world. (Boy do I feel blessed to be the mother of that one!)</p>
<p>My children have taught me many things over their lifetimes but this one is one of the tenderest. I learned not to judge someone's actions too quickly. To take a few minutes and evaluate what is causing the behavior before reacting because it may be I can lighten someone else's day and brighten my own as well. I find myself looking around to see if there is someone that seemed lost and alone and try to go out of my way to include them.</p>
<p>Lorene</p>
Staff
2012-09-14T22:08:00Z
Thinking It Through
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thinking-It-Through/339299282536596735.html
2012-09-14T22:00:00Z
2012-09-14T22:00:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura - <br /><br />Besides my faith in Christ, I know exactly one of the smartest decisions I have ever made and it concerned my family.</p>
<p>I was around 32 yrs old, married for 10 yrs, and my marriage was lifeless. I had 4 kids and things were tough.</p>
<p>An affair was looking attractive at that point, but I gave myself a sit-down. That road would include, who knows, lying, deceit, divorce, multiple ridiculous relationships?<br />Everything that I had said was wrong. Also, I was an adult child of divorce. I knew exactly what I would be doing to my children. So, I made a silent vow to them, that there was no man on earth worth ruining my children's lives for. And who wants a man who would disregard the welfare of children so he could get at their momma?<br />The kind of man I wanted would never look my way.</p>
<p>That vow kept my marriage intact, which turned out quite well by the way. My children, now adults, thank me and their dad profusely for sticking it out and not putting them through the trauma of divorce. I am very glad for that decision and thank God for it.</p>
<p>Your books have helped me become a better person/wife and I appreciate your candor which is desperately needed today.</p>
<p>God bless!</p>
<p>Sandra</p>
Staff
2012-09-14T22:00:00Z
She Kept Calm and Cool
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/She-Kept-Calm-and-Cool/364861170141740396.html
2012-09-13T20:56:00Z
2012-09-13T20:56:00Z
<p>When I was 12 years old, there were about a dozen kids who got off the bus at the same stop that I did. One day, there was a boy who had been having trouble with some bullies on the bus, and he decided to get away from them by crossing the street in front of the bus -- at a full run -- without looking.</p>
<p>I'd heard of people saying that in a crisis time seemed to slow down, and for the first time I experienced that. The image of him bouncing off the side of the van which had chosen that moment to whip around the bus, is frozen in my mind. I can remember the screams of my friends around me, but for some reason, I felt completely calm. There was a corner of my mind analyzing the impact, concluding that his spine was most likely NOT injured, but at the same time seeing he was still lying in the road and the next car that came by would run over him having no way of seeing him there. So I did the only sensible thing, I picked up a guy twice my size and carried him out of harm's way.</p>
<p>I've since learned this type of calm during a crisis is a family trait. When my nephew started choking his mother just stood there screaming "OHMIGODOHMIGODOHMIGOD" while my mom pushed her out of the way and started the Heimlich maneuver. When my uncle had a chainsaw accident (2 words you never want to hear in the same sentence) he calmly wrapped his own arm and ordered his employee to drive him to the hospital. Somehow we are able to reserve our hysterics for a more appropriate time. It's a family trait I am very honored to have.</p>
<p>Melanie</p>
Staff
2012-09-13T20:56:00Z
Wanting to Know the Truth
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Wanting-to-Know-the-Truth/884422136903937199.html
2012-09-12T19:13:00Z
2012-09-12T19:13:00Z
<p>I absolutely agree with you about doctors being honest with terminally ill patients (Blog: <strong><em><a href="/b/Facing-a-Grave-Illness/-570947912817680151.html">Facing a Grave Illness</a></em></strong>). I lost a good friend almost 2 years ago to pancreatic cancer. When she told me her diagnosis, I was devastated. I knew pancreatic cancer was almost always fatal. Patrick Swazey had just died from it. But she told me her doctor said her prognosis was good! I was skeptical, but I figured her doctor knew better than me. And I certainly wasn't going to tell her "Oh, get real. You're gonna die." Or maybe he was honest with her and she was just putting on a happy face for friends and family.</p>
<p>I've seen this with other friends with cancer as well. Nobody ever says "I'm dying." They always claim doctors say the prognosis is good.</p>
<p>Last October, my sister was diagnosed with lung cancer and was told she had 6 months to live. She's exceeded that, but the family understands her time is limited. I've made an extra effort to go visit even though it's painful for me because I realize her time is limited. If her doctors were saying she was "good," I can honestly say I wouldn't make the effort.</p>
<p>If I only have 6 months to live, I want to know! I'm cashing in my 401K and going to Europe before it's too late. I'm having dessert. And I'm never setting foot in the gym. But that's just me. I would be furious if I were told I had a "good prognosis" and spent months in chemo only to find out that I never had a chance to begin with.</p>
<p>Merrie</p>
Staff
2012-09-12T19:13:00Z
What a Great Birthday Present!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-a-Great-Birthday-Present!/770612414228234918.html
2012-09-12T19:00:00Z
2012-09-12T19:00:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I started listening to you with my Mom when I was about 12 years old. Honestly, at that age I was bored to tears. As I got older though, here and there, I found myself listening to you on my own. Then one day I discovered "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." I was dating a man at the time - the most amazing man - and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I was a clueless 20-something, so I read the book (twice) in less than a week, and began listening to your show religiously.</p>
<p>Fast forward 5 years and that man and I are married, so ridiculously happy, and I follow your advice everyday. Do I get it right everyday? No. Do I get snippy and bitchy from time to time. Yes. But one thing stays the same no matter what: My husband is my knight in shining armor. He is my hard working, loving, kind, thoughtful, hilarious, HOTTTT, husband. He is my MAN, and I make sure he knows it! And I am his devoted wife, and his naughty girlfriend.</p>
<p>When you left broadcast radio I couldn't follow you. My husband knew that secretly I was so, so sad to "lose" you. Today is my 30th birthday - I received many sweet gifts from my husband, but the best gift - a 1 year Family Plus Gift Membership!!!! What's more, is the thought that went into it. Not once did I ever ask for you, but because of what my Mom, and what YOU taught me about taking care of your man, he in turn is so attentive and takes care of me. He treats me like a queen and gives everything I could ever want, including you, Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>So thank you! I can't wait to start listening again!</p>
<p>Cheers,</p>
<p>Katie</p>
Staff
2012-09-12T19:00:00Z
Saving My Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Saving-My-Marriage/-848252362559160098.html
2012-09-11T21:00:00Z
2012-09-11T21:00:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>It has been a pleasure listening to you on SiriusXM for nearly 3 years. I have learned so much. You are my surrogate mother and without you, I don't believe I'd be married today.</p>
<p>Like so many of the women my age (I'm 42) I was raised by a feminist mother who basically crushed my father's spirit and ran around like a chicken with her head cut off because she was stretched so thin.</p>
<p>I can't believe that today, just over 50 years and 1 month later, my parents are still together. Through the good, the bad, and the very ugly, they still love each other. Oddly enough, I didn't think they'd make it. When I was 15 years old, my father "retired." At least that's what Mom called it. Then the fighting ensued. My brother married that year and I was all alone.</p>
<p>I didn't find out until I was 33-years-old that my father didn't "retire"; rather he was fired -- fired from a long string of car dealership service management positions. He apparently had a terrible temper not just at home. I couldn't believe I didn't find this out. But, I guess at 15, you aren't really concerned with your parents' issues, other than those that affect you - such as constant arguing - hence, I found other places to be, other things to do, and not good things, either.</p>
<p>Today, I have a wonderful husband of nearly 16 years and two great, bright, beautiful, and happy kids. We live in a nice small town and have 5 acres of land. Eleven years ago, when we moved here, I was miserable as we were 2 hours from my hometown. </p>
<p>My husband and I sacrificed, working opposite shifts, so we could be home with our children. This strained our marriage tremendously, even with my part-time (24 hour/week) job. Thanks to your tremendous advice, I now look at things so differently than I did before. I know what is important, what my priorities should be, what matters, who doesn't, and most importantly, I finally know how to treat the love of my life.</p>
<p>You are a tremendous blessing. Were it not for you, this small family in rural Wisconsin would cease to exist. I hope more women find you and follow your wisdom, or rather, heed the warnings of those you speak to and help. I've learned so much and thank them as well for sharing their sorrows and losses.</p>
<p>All my respect,</p>
<p>Jacki</p>
Staff
2012-09-11T21:00:00Z
What Event Should We Attend?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Event-Should-We-Attend/-911579491803199714.html
2012-09-11T20:59:00Z
2012-09-11T20:59:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I phoned you about a month ago as I was having a hard time deciding which wedding to attend. We live in Alberta - Canada and have a cousin's wedding in Ohio and my nephew's wedding in Las Vegas on the same day. You said we should only attend if it means something to us. Well, we decided we don't have strong enough feelings about either (although I still have some guilt about the nephew) and so instead we are going to San Diego to have our <strong>first ever </strong>(other than a weekend in the mountains) <strong>family free vacation</strong>. We have been married 23 years and all of our vacations have been to visit family. So, we are going to have some fun without family. We do have family in San Diego also but might meet them for dinner if they are free - will not be spending entire vacation with them.</p>
<p>Thanks for your great advice.</p>
<p>Barb <br />a Dr. Laura Cruiser!!</p>
Staff
2012-09-11T20:59:00Z
Which Sparkles More?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Which-Sparkles-More/814869948749594055.html
2012-09-07T21:43:00Z
2012-09-07T21:43:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I had to chuckle when I heard the call of the newly engaged young lady with a ring from her boyfriend's former fiancée. I too received a ring that had previously belonged to my future husband's former gal! I pondered this when he present it and thought it's a beautiful diamond, we will never get it's full worth if we turn it in and right now we don't have enough for a down payment on a house when we get married. So it seemed ridiculous at the time not to accept the diamond from the man I was sure loved me. I did however state that "someday" I would love a new ring when we had the extra money.</p>
<p>We just celebrated our 25th anniversary and my "someday" came in the form of a beautiful 4 carat diamond ring which I adore along with my husband!</p>
<p>You gave her good advice! Love her future husband not the ring!</p>
<p>Annie</p>
Staff
2012-09-07T21:43:00Z
I Guess We Raised Her Right
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Guess-We-Raised-Her-Right/-530439810460043671.html
2012-09-07T21:32:00Z
2012-09-07T21:32:00Z
<p>I called you looking for affirmation that my husband and I had given our daughter the right advice. She had been asked by a friend's mother to throw a surprise birthday party for this friend, but then the mother said that my daughter shouldn't invite a certain few people in the church youth group that this girl didn't get along with. We advised our daughter to either invite everyone in the youth group at church or not throw the party. But we wondered if perhaps we were off base. You affirmed our counsel to our daughter, advising me to call the mother to let her know that everyone would be invited or no party.</p>
<p>Turns out, I didn't need to call her. My sweet daughter did it herself, and before I even had a chance to tell her that I would do it. I love that girl! She invited everyone; the ones who didn't get along with the birthday girl didn't come, and the party was a big success! My daughter had a number of fun activities planned, and the birthday girl was thrilled.</p>
<p>Thank you for the encouragement I've always gotten from you to be the wife and mother that my instincts have always told me that I need to be. As my kids would say...You ROCK!</p>
<p>Heidi</p>
Staff
2012-09-07T21:32:00Z
Drug abuse and Drug Dealing Call
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Drug-abuse-and-Drug-Dealing-Call/614277080789057414.html
2012-09-06T20:36:00Z
2012-09-06T20:36:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>I am compelled to write because a caller's situation, and your response, touched one of my passions, helping families dealing with drug abuse and addiction.</p>
<p>Today you talked to a woman whose son has admitted to using and dealing drugs. You told her to turn him in to law enforcement and her first response was that her husband probably wouldn't do that, and you told HER to do it to save her son.<br /> <br />I am President of the Lapeer Michigan Chapter of Families Against Narcotics, a 501c3 organization. We partner with a group called Families Anonymous. Your advice was absolutely correct. However, she commented that it would be very hard to do that. She is correct, sometimes doing the right thing is hard. She is going to need support from others who understand the issue, regardless of what course of action she chooses; which is what our groups offer.</p>
<p>There are several individuals in our group who would speak to her about their personal experience with situations similar to hers. Several of them will tell her that they eventually were grateful when their child was in jail, because the child had "escalated" just like you told her that her son will do. At least they knew their child was safe for the night. Something none of us would have expected to say about our child.</p>
<p>You then told her that he would eventually de-escalate ....... to death. Again, you are absolutely correct that this is a possibility. We also have individuals in our group who would talk to her about their personal experience with drug related deaths, me being one of them. Burying your child is a lot harder than turning them into law enforcement.</p>
<p>I don't know your policy on promoting organizations, however, if you would consider helping us get the message out nationally so we may be able to provide support to families and hopefully save others from the devastation that drug abuse and addiction causes, we would appreciate it.</p>
<p>More information can be found at <a href="http://www.familiesagainstnarcotics.org" target="_blank">www.familiesagainstnarcotics.org</a> or <a href="http://www.familiesanonymous.org" target="_blank">www.familiesanonymous.org</a></p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Tina</p>
Staff
2012-09-06T20:36:00Z
Mr. Bear
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mr.-Bear/482252669298505682.html
2012-09-06T20:31:00Z
2012-09-06T20:31:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I work in neonatal intensive care and we have many babies who were born too early, or born full-term, but sick. We cannot allow stuffed toys in the isolettes or cribs for many reasons, but realized the need for some sort of comforting noise for our infants. We contacted the company that markets the "heartbeat bears" and asked if we could buy just the small battery operated unit that goes up the bear's bottom. They gladly supplied us with several of those units, and we use them 24/7 for many of our babies. They are the greatest thing ever for sick and/or premature babies! <br /><br />I thought it was interesting that you and your husband discovered this for your boy when he was an infant. Whoever thought of this device deserves the Nobel Peace Prize, because it brings more peace than anything I have come across in a very long time!</p>
<p>Thank you for your show. Love it!!</p>
<p>Candy</p>
Staff
2012-09-06T20:31:00Z
'That's not fair!'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thats-not-fair!/149435026216843953.html
2012-09-05T18:34:00Z
2012-09-05T18:34:00Z
<p>I have just finished reading your <a href="/b/Parents-Playing-Financial-Favorites/-97170651845396672.html">blog about favoritism</a> and I wanted to share:</p>
<p>I have always had a favorite child, but I always strove to keep that a secret. Even now, with my kids in their 30s, I think if they were asked who I favored or loved more, they would both say the other.</p>
<p>Both of my sons had a tougher road than I did (I had one of the greatest dads in the world!): their dad left when the oldest was 9 and the younger one was a few months shy of 5. Both of them did many stupid (and naive) things and both fathered a child out of wedlock (although the second one was a few years older when his was born).</p>
<p>My older son decided to leave home on his own, although he ended up needing to come back for a while to live with me with his child.</p>
<p>My younger son was rebellious and I ended up having to kick him out - the hardest thing I've ever done. After two or three months of sleeping mostly in his pickup, he returned, apologized and asked if he could come back.</p>
<p>They both were really "forced" to grow up when they became fathers. In fact, my younger son told me several years ago that the birth of his son was the best thing that ever happened to him, because he had to grow up and be responsible.</p>
<p>I have been very proud of how they both have taken on the role of a father, especially since they didn't have a father that was worth emulating in many ways. I credit my brother, brothers-in-law, the wonderful men of our church for giving them such great examples of being a father.</p>
<p>So, I want to say to your listeners: Listen to Dr. Laura when she says you can't keep rescuing your kids - it doesn't help them, it HURTS them in so many ways! A little experience in the school of hard knocks can be invaluable!</p>
<p>S.</p>
Staff
2012-09-05T18:34:00Z
Full-circle Surgery?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Full-circle-Surgery/140878396368702164.html
2012-09-05T18:31:00Z
2012-09-05T18:31:00Z
<p>In only about one month, I have experienced a full-circle moment. I called about a month ago... I am Anna and you reminded me to not 'dis God' by staying overwhelmed. After our call, I first admitted I was drowning in the life I love, asked for help from my mom, husband and friends.</p>
<p>I was amazed at how little changes made a big impact. I learned that being a bit selfish is healthy. I learned to put myself at the top of my own list more. I CAN handle a lot, but SHOULD I? I am so glad I learned this lesson as very soon after our call, I had a major falling out with my best friend (her issues not mine), and I started having mysterious abdomen pains that kept getting worse.</p>
<p>Turns out my problem was partly physical, I had gallbladder removal surgery a few days ago. However, had I not fixed my head and emotions by starting to take time for myself, I would have never listened to my body and been assertive in getting the mysterious pain fixed.</p>
<p>I couldn't have predicted that surgery would be in my path. However, I thank you for getting my head straight so I could get my body straight. I'm fixed, for now, ready to take on life much healthier than when I began.</p>
<p>Much thanks,</p>
<p>Anna</p>
Staff
2012-09-05T18:31:00Z
Grieving is Not Just for Family Members
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Grieving-is-Not-Just-for-Family-Members/172949912927428479.html
2012-09-04T21:10:00Z
2012-09-04T21:10:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I just watched the video "<a href="/b/Video:-Should-His-Girlfriend-Be-in-the-Funeral/473771581774552547.html">Should His Girlfriend Be in the Funeral</a>" and I couldn't agree with you more.</p>
<p>My 21-year-old son Jeffrey was hit by a car while crossing the street last November. His girlfriend, Laura, was the first to get to him and then alert the family. Jeffrey suffered massive brain injuries and died from his injuries three days after the accident. Even though we hadn't met Laura during their two year relationship (long story) I insisted she be included in everything, as long as she was comfortable with it.</p>
<p>Laura was at the wake hanging out with Jeffrey's five other siblings and all of their friends. She sat with us at the funeral Mass and if my memory serves me correctly, she joined my other children bringing up the gifts during the Mass. She rode with us in the limo and was with us until the end of the service at the cemetery. At that point she had had enough and decided to walk home. Her mom was there for her and I'm sure still is.</p>
<p>Laura was a big help to us. She had tons of pictures of Jeffrey and herself which we used in a slide show presentation and on memory boards. She also assured me, when I told her Jeffrey was going to be an organ donor, that they had talked about organ donation and Jeffrey strongly believed in it.</p>
<p>After Jeffrey's death, I came to realize he wasn't mine, he was only on loan. I also realized he had been on loan to a lot of people - Jeffrey touched a lot of lives. We were blessed to have had him with us for almost 22 years. Jeffrey is where God knows is best for him. As I said in my son's eulogy; for whatever reason, God in His goodness and mercy knew it was Jeffrey's time.</p>
<p>There will always be a piece of my heart missing, but I know where it is. It is with my Jeffrey, waiting for me to join him.</p>
<p>So yes, to all grieving families, please include boy/girlfriends and close friends if possible too.</p>
<p>Blessings,</p>
<p>Teresa</p>
Staff
2012-09-04T21:10:00Z
Chivalry Isn't Dead Everywhere
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Chivalry-Isnt-Dead-Everywhere/-810298531962027257.html
2012-09-04T20:56:00Z
2012-09-04T20:56:00Z
<p>My daughter brought up <a href="/b/Is-Chivalry-Dead/129367269890949226.html">chivalry </a>recently. She said chivalry is not dead within our church (Mormon). She is in Philadelphia at Moore College of Art and Design. She has been on dates with church members and non-members and she far prefers the LDS boys. When they help her with things like IKEA trips, they won't let her carry anything. She is a very strong girl, but she really appreciates the thought and kindness.</p>
<p>Many people think women in the church are lesser because so many of us stay home with kids, but the opposite is true. When I was home full-time, my husband told me his job only had meaning insofar as he could support us because what I was doing was far more important. I grew up in a very liberal area with a feminista mother and I can tell you I would take my conservative religious husband over the liberal ones any day. He is a true saint. I married a man who is a far better person than I am and I have spent the last 24 years trying to take such good care of him that he won't figure it out.</p>
<p>Liz</p>
Staff
2012-09-04T20:56:00Z
Another Day Care Nightmare
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Another-Day-Care-Nightmare/-252900242846011653.html
2012-08-24T21:10:00Z
2012-08-24T21:10:00Z
<p>A former coworker of mine has her 3-year-old in day care 5 days a week. Over a weekend, her son had a seizure; resulting in an ambulance ride and 2 days in the hospital. When she called to notify the day care that her son would not be attending Monday morning due to his illness, the woman said (I paraphrase) "Oh yeah, he has had a couple of those here in the past few weeks. Sorry I forgot to mention it."</p>
<p>My friend was appalled. Her son has a potentially fatal condition. Not only did the day care fail to call 911, they failed to notify either of the parents! To add insult to injury, the day care is supposedly run by a family friend.</p>
<p>Some friend.</p>
<p>So lucky to be a SAHM for my 2 boys...</p>
<p>Sarah</p>
Staff
2012-08-24T21:10:00Z
Autism and My Little Boys
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Autism-and-My-Little-Boys/-680895649485260604.html
2012-08-24T21:07:00Z
2012-08-24T21:07:00Z
<p>I am my son's voice - for now. He is 5 and has autism. He works so hard every day in therapies in school and at play. He works 30 hours a week learning our way and he is getting better and better at speaking and social interacting. However he still has a hard time and so is treated differently in our society which I believe is wrong. People just assume he can not attend church or fun activities just because he has Autism. I feel like he is not given a chance...</p>
<p>I don't understand why our society is so afraid of those that are different... He is smart, amazing with math and reading... He is loving and sweet, but he is different. He has to flap his little hands when he is excited, he sometimes has to sing his abc's when he is overwhelmed ... Very different in understanding social norms, but not any less of a person. He is just a little boy, but to me he is a warrior.</p>
<p>My husband is Active Duty Air Force going now on 22 years. When people call him a hero for protecting our country, he often points to our 5-year-old amazing boy and says that he is his hero for working so hard to join us in this world. By the way, we have twin 5-year-old boys: one has autism and the other has Asperger's... Both great little minds that I just wish I knew how to show the world they are not just Autistic but also two little boys that just want to be boys.</p>
<p>Thanks,<br /><br />A.</p>
Staff
2012-08-24T21:07:00Z
A 'School's' Automated Answering Message
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Schools-Automated-Answering-Message/551792442933798509.html
2012-08-23T22:08:00Z
2012-08-23T22:08:00Z
<p>This is a faked automated answering service message was. It's supposed to be at a school -- in this case: Australia. Although it is not real, in many ways, it is a humorous listen. Thank you, Susan for sending this. Click on the player/button below.</p>
Staff
2012-08-23T22:08:00Z
Should I Tell My Ex the Dog Died...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Should-I-Tell-My-Ex-the-Dog-Died.../322771641876253223.html
2012-08-23T22:00:00Z
2012-08-23T22:00:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I want to thank you again for taking the time to speak with me today about my Ridgeback that passed a few months ago and whether or not I should tell my ex-husband of his death.</p>
<p>I called my ex-husband a couple of hours later and gave him the news; I had started writing an email but I felt like it was the chicken way to go, and that I owed him a conversation for the mutual love he had for one incredible dog.</p>
<p>The conversation was short, cordial, sweet and in the end I felt like a chapter in my grief process was complete; it was a beautiful gift I never expected would come from this act.</p>
<p>Please give your pups a hug from me and I'll give mine the same for you!</p>
<p>Below are their pictures. The 3 Hooligans are the ones still with me. The lone dog photo is of my dearly departed big buy. This was the last photo taken of him. We volunteered as a therapy dog team for almost 3 years and we both loved it. The number of lives he touched while he was here on this earth is insurmountable.</p>
<p>A.<br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/a_dog_1.jpg" alt="" width="500" height="338" /><br /><br /><img src="/images/blog/a_three_dogs_1.jpg" alt="" width="500" height="329" /></p>
Staff
2012-08-23T22:00:00Z
What I Wish I'd Known Years Ago...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-I-Wish-Id-Known-Years-Ago.../32150532515507964.html
2012-08-22T22:27:00Z
2012-08-22T22:27:00Z
<p>Years ago I wish I had known that acquiring an education would assist in "being someone". Finding my passion, my purpose before getting married would have been a smart move. I married to become me and it didn't work. The marriage worked (eventually). I always wanted to be a mother and in doing so ignored the needs of a weak man and paid the price. We are still married 37 years later and are both better people than we were early in our marriage.</p>
<p>I have recently found a passion in choral conducting (in the past 10 years). Had I followed this musical path in my 20's, I would be degreed and possibly doing this as a teacher and making money. Instead I volunteer, which still feeds my soul and I love it! My education is continuous; I take classes here and there, but don't want to be tied to a school schedule so I can visit and play with 7 grandchildren, garden and serve in my church and community.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, for all you do. It wasn't easy raising 4 children, one of whom is in recovery (we hope). You were one of my anchors! My folks never dealt with troubled kids (they think we were all perfect, ha!) I guess that is something else I wish I had known - that it was okay not to be perfect because nobody is. I found Al Anon, then served with my husband in an addiction recovery program at our church. You gave me courage and ammo when I dealt with my teenage children. Funny, when I think about my childhood and pictured myself as a mom, I always pictured me with babies and toddlers, not with teenagers. When people ask me how old my children are, I tell them they are all elderly (28-34).</p>
<p>I love you,</p>
<p>Denise</p>
Staff
2012-08-22T22:27:00Z
Where has Optimism Gone?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Where-has-Optimism-Gone/-22948318052756542.html
2012-08-22T22:24:00Z
2012-08-22T22:24:00Z
<p>Optimism is important to have; especially in these days. However, the young teens, and young adults don't seem to have a lot of optimism or good mental health to cheer themselves up or to cheer themselves on. I also find the attitude of many 40-year-old parents to be that of "blunt" and "dull." These parents of the younger adults, take the same attitude as their young adult children or teens which is to just act "cool" so that it comes down to no interest in raising their children, or they just appear disinterested and don't have good mental health.</p>
<p>The young adults and teenagers of today, like to manipulate their parents, and it seems that many parents are manipulated to the point where they can't even see what is going on. Their children want things run "their way". If more young adults and teenagers were optimistic, maybe we would be kinder to one another. Sometimes I wonder if the young adults even know how to be sincerely optimistic. It seems like the "bad attitude", "so cool or way too cool" ways are the trends nowadays. Do they know what optimism even is? It comes down to the parent, and the 40-year-old parent, just acts like their "middle-school kid".</p>
<p>Sure it's hard to be optimistic at times, but to me, it is a sign that one is not giving up and has a good mind where he/she isn't so critical of everything (pessimistic). It helps to at least look on the bright side and hope for the best in many situations.</p>
<p>It doesn't hurt to be optimistic, but it can hurt to be pessimistic.</p>
<p>Sue</p>
Staff
2012-08-22T22:24:00Z
A Tribute to Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Tribute-to-Dad/-525560825619562224.html
2012-08-21T21:43:00Z
2012-08-21T21:43:00Z
<p>I just wanted to share a post I made recently on Facebook. (I am only friends with family and a few real friends...) It was a tough day at work, one of those where I would have picked up the phone to call my dad. I miss his advice and friendship. Here is what I wrote:</p>
<p>When our loved ones leave this earth, they bless each of us with an inheritance. Not one of possessions, trinkets and treasures...these hold no true value. Instead they leave us with a piece of themselves in our hearts - their wisdom in our brains. Look around and you will see your loved ones living on in everyone whose life they touched. Learn to recognize and appreciate these gifts and you help your loved ones to live on. When you are missing them, make a list of these gifts you see in others and you will realize they are still here.</p>
<p>Today, I am really missing my dad. So on my drive home, I worked on my list. For those of you who never had the pleasure of meeting my dad, this might give you an idea of how wonderful of a person he was. To those of you on this list, these are just a few of the things I see in each of you.</p>
<p><strong>Mom:</strong> I see strength in you and I don't think you fully realize is there.<br /><strong>My Sister L:</strong> You have Dad's patience and planning.<br /><strong>My Nephew L:</strong> Your mom is continuing to show you all the things, big and small, that bring pure joy to the world. That twinkle in your eye came from heaven.<br /><strong>My Sister C: </strong>You have a big heart that is willing to help anyone in need.<br /><strong>My Brother-in-Law D:</strong> I see an amazing father in you. <br /><strong>My Nephew I:</strong> What an amazing young man who has a quest for learning new things.<br /><strong>My Niece A:</strong> My dad loved to make himself and others laugh, and I see that in you.<br /><strong>My Husband: </strong>You have my Dad's gift of being a quiet but mighty force.<br /><strong>My Daughter:</strong> You have my Dad's drive to do well in life, and also his compassion for others.<br /><strong>Myself: </strong>I think I was blessed with Dad's logical approach to problems.</p>
<p>All of us: We are all blessed with an appreciation of music (and some of us make that face when we sing). We all quote those classic movie lines. We all want to be sure that no one ever eats a piece of cake alone. I could go on and on...</p>
<p>Jennifer</p>
Staff
2012-08-21T21:43:00Z
I Finally Cracked the Book
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Finally-Cracked-the-Book/-603937403306421472.html
2012-08-21T21:41:00Z
2012-08-21T21:41:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I bought your book "Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives" more than ten years ago. I intended to read it, but there it sat on my bookshelf, unopened.</p>
<p>I had no idea who you were when I bought the book, but had discovered your show in the past several years and became a fan.</p>
<p>I have recently relocated and while I was packing my things, not only did the book make the cut of things I was bringing with me, I had heard enough Dr. Laura wisdom on the air and experienced enough turmoil in my tangles with disordered men that I was FINALLY motivated to read it. And reread it. And underline and highlight it. Now I am passing it on to a beloved sister who is bravely taking the steps to leave a disordered man and take on the challenges of her own new life without him.</p>
<p>Thank you for what you do. I am well on my way to becoming an empowered woman, and you have had a hand it that!</p>
<p>Warm Regards,</p>
<p>Angie</p>
Staff
2012-08-21T21:41:00Z
How a Doll Changed My Attitude
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-a-Doll-Changed-My-Attitude/-65508467387210313.html
2012-08-20T18:23:00Z
2012-08-20T18:23:00Z
<p>Old people scared me as a child, even if they were relatives; I only tolerated them because they let me play with the stuffed animals they kept around the house for us great-grandkids.</p>
<p>Then for Christmas, when I was nine, my Great-Grandma Mattie sent me a porcelain doll that contrasted the idealized bride dolls she usually sent me. This doll was short and pudgy, dressed in faded green gingham, and smiling; and I loved her at first sight. I took her everywhere with me, even though I had already given up playing with dolls. That doll changed my perspective on Grandma Mattie. When I saw her again during my next summer visit, we talked for hours and swapped old National Geographic issues. She became my best friend that night.</p>
<p>Grandma Mattie died the following spring; that loss hurt so much I put the doll in a box and did not think of either of them again for years. When I eventually rediscovered the doll, I also rediscovered my memories of my great-grandma. I developed fresh admiration for Grandma Mattie, who could take out a hawk overhead with a hip-shot, who never went to college, but knew so much because she read voraciously. And I may never have known that incredible woman or her invaluable wisdom if not for that doll in the green gingham dress that I now keep on my desk.</p>
<p>Amanda</p>
Staff
2012-08-20T18:23:00Z
From a Child's Point of View
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/From-a-Childs-Point-of-View/378125696409814450.html
2012-08-20T18:21:00Z
2012-08-20T18:21:00Z
<p>When I was a little girl, I had this big white stuffed poodle dog that I took everywhere, even to town. When my mother tried to wash some of the dirt off him, I cried next to the wash machine!</p>
<p>It was getting very worn and ratty looking, and wasn't so white anymore, so my parents gave me a new white poodle toy for my birthday, which I instantly loved also! But after I opened the gift, my mom said, "Well, I'll take this old one now and get rid of it since you have a nice new poodle." I flew into panic mode clutching my old poodle, yelling, "No, no! I'm keeping him too!" I think my parents were trying some type of psychology on me with the old dog/new dog trade, but it didn't work. I kept both stuffed toy dogs!</p>
<p>It's funny, I hardly ever think about the old toys anymore, but I sure miss my folks.</p>
<p>Debbie</p>
Staff
2012-08-20T18:21:00Z
Being Defensive
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-Defensive/-62267568403001278.html
2012-08-17T20:13:00Z
2012-08-17T20:13:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br /> <br />The other day I read an interesting thing which made a lot of sense to me. I think you too will find it quite interesting.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Sometimes people are a lot like dogs. When a dog barks and howls, he is protecting something. So, when you are having a disagreement with someone and they start "barking and howling", you have to ask yourself...<br />"What are they protecting?"</p>
</blockquote>
<p><br />To me this is a very enlightening concept. Usually when people get extremely defensive, loud and argumentative they are "protecting" something such as their way of life, their beliefs, the status quo or something else. And they don't want to change. Anyway, I thought you would find this interesting.</p>
<p>I listen to your show every day on Sirius/XM radio and really appreciate your point of view. I have been listening to you for many years and your common sense advice has assisted me in making difficult decisions and helping me mold a life I am now very proud of. Thank you very much for giving of yourself to help so many people in need.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Risa</p>
Staff
2012-08-17T20:13:00Z
Remember Parents, You're In Charge
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Remember-Parents,-Youre-In-Charge/-53963673172053520.html
2012-08-17T20:10:00Z
2012-08-17T20:10:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura, </p>
<p>I listen to your show on my way home (on XM radio). I wanted to send you a big thank you for your response to a recent call. It reminded me that as parents are in charge. In the daily hubbub of maintaining the home, sports, laundry, pets, cooking, working, etc. it's easy to forget that we parents have the power that rules the home. I used your response to solve a problem, albeit a minor one, in my home. </p>
<p>I have a daughter home from college for the summer. In the 8 weeks she's been home, her room has been clean about 5 days. For the past 3 days, I have told her to clean it up. Well, it wasn't happening to my satisfaction, so this morning, I took her computer 'hostage'! I texted her and told her that if she did not clean her room, to my satisfaction, 'her' phone and car keys were next. (I took great pleasure in doing this!) She was mad, sure, but she handled it in a mature manner, and took care of business, and it only took her 3 hours (!). I am proud of her for her response and understanding that cleaning the room wasn't about cleanliness, but about respect, duty, and responsibility.</p>
<p>So thank you, Dr. Laura, for reminding me that I'm in charge. I look forward to future situations when I can utilize my unique methods of 'torture' on my teens!</p>
<p>Cheers,</p>
<p>Amy</p>
Staff
2012-08-17T20:10:00Z
My Priorities Were Different Than Hers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Priorities-Were-Different-Than-Hers/415010027970306188.html
2012-08-16T20:59:00Z
2012-08-16T20:59:00Z
<p>My first serious relationship began about 2 years after I graduated from college and got my first full-time job. A friend set me up with a blind date, who was a coworker of the girl he was dating at the time. It began to get serious after the third date.</p>
<p>It lasted just over two years, and in that time I began to understand how desperate she was to be married. Being relatively naïve, I didn't realize this sooner. Her (much more well-endowed) younger sister was already preparing for her wedding at that time as well. Her dad had already passed from a heart attack at a young age. She was willing to do pretty much ANYTHING to get me to the altar, including becoming pregnant out-of-wedlock. She tried, unsuccessfully, to get me to facilitate that on several occasions. After I managed to break up with her - the first time - my roommate got us back together for a date a few weeks later.</p>
<p>During that date, she tried again to initiate sexual activities. As soon as I removed her hand from my crotch, without saying a word, she quickly exited my vehicle and went into her house. The next thing I heard (from my roommate) was that she had married one of her coworkers.</p>
<p>My reason for dragging my feet was simply that I could not see how I was going to be able to provide the kind of life with her that we both - and any children - deserved and needed. But this young woman was not willing to wait until I was fully prepared - emotionally and financially - to make the commitment and follow through on it properly. I have never heard from or about her since. That was over thirty years ago.</p>
<p>I did not date anyone more than once or twice for the next 6 years, until I met the girl I would marry. We are still married, for 23 years now, with two great young adults as our children. Ours is not a perfect marriage, but I am so glad I waited.</p>
<p>M.</p>
Staff
2012-08-16T20:59:00Z
His Work Ethic Made Me Take Notice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/His-Work-Ethic-Made-Me-Take-Notice/581186824647850878.html
2012-08-16T20:56:00Z
2012-08-16T20:56:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I was 18 years old when an architectural firm hired me as a secretary. After my first day at work, my family asked if there were any handsome, young architects there. I told them there was a 21-year-old. but he wasn't my type.</p>
<p>Boy was I wrong!</p>
<p>I noticed over the next couple of weeks this young guy was very professional and mature and he really knew his stuff. The boss trusted him with a lot of responsibility managing hospital projects and he was really, really good. He was always on time and worked late when necessary. He also handled himself well with clients.</p>
<p>WOW my heart said. </p>
<p>So when he asked me to go to Disneyland three weeks after we met, I was there! And when I married him 2 years later, I (and my dad) had full confidence this man would be a faithful provider, and he has been for 23 years! I have not wanted for anything a day in my life! He is so much more than a provider, but that was the first thing I fell in love with - as a woman with a natural instinct to want to be taken care of.</p>
<p>Kimberlee</p>
Staff
2012-08-16T20:56:00Z
Football Can Be More Than a Sport
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Football-Can-Be-More-Than-a-Sport/-659410689980466217.html
2012-08-15T20:18:00Z
2012-08-15T20:18:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>You recently had a call from a man whose son wanted to quit football shortly after it started. I had the same issue with my son a few years ago - I refused to take him home early from a practice because he didn't think he was good enough.</p>
<p>Below is a copy of the letter my son wrote to his coach after his senior year. Of course I am so proud of my son.</p>
<p>Beth</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Dear Coach K,</p>
<p>As my senior year comes to a close, I think it's important to reflect on the people and events that have shaped me in the past four years. This was a learning time in my life; I laughed, I cried, but overall, I matured. I am grateful to say that you have influenced me in a positive way.</p>
<p>You might not have noticed it, but you coached me on more than just football. You didn't just teach me how to call plays; you taught me how to be assertive. You didn't just teach me how to make tackles; you taught me how to apply myself. You didn't just teach me how to play my hardest; you taught me how to give my all. You didn't just teach me how to play football; you taught me how to be a man. Whether I'm a 160 pound linebacker or a college graduate on his way to an interview, I am now more confident in myself and my abilities.</p>
<p>Thank you so much for being a friend and a father figure. Thank you for not giving up on me. I'm gong to miss my teammates and my coaches who made the past four years special. Thank you so much for everything you have done for me. I am forever grateful and I know the other linebackers feel the same way.</p>
</blockquote>
Staff
2012-08-15T20:18:00Z
Creating Memories Through Photos
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Creating-Memories-Through-Photos/510394414354033331.html
2012-08-15T20:16:00Z
2012-08-15T20:16:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>It's difficult to chose one picture that is my favorite among the thousands taken of my children, but I would have to say that one of my favorites is a picture we took for our Christmas card a few years ago. It is a tradition in our home that we brainstorm as a family and come up with an idea that is creative to use as our card. My husband is a wiz at Photoshop, so any idea we come up with can be done! In this one, it "appears" as though the children are hanging and trying to climb to the top of our fireplace mantel where my husband and I are sitting looking on. The scale is such that it looks a little daring and scary for us to watch them. Some people who have never seen our new house said that our fireplace must be huge! The children are doing what they do best - being kids - climbing like little monkeys!</p>
<p>What I love most about the photo though, is the way we collectively came up with the idea. The holidays are such a special time, but we try to incorporate traditions that don't involve material things and our strength as a team is cherished through a picture that we will have forever. We got rave reviews for months from the people we sent it to.</p>
<p>It is you that I have to thank for my inspiration to remember what is truly important in life. Thank you for 23 years of wisdom!</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Danielle</p>
Staff
2012-08-15T20:16:00Z
A Door May Have Closed, But Another Opened...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Door-May-Have-Closed,-But-Another-Opened.../-492440167050389783.html
2012-08-14T20:19:00Z
2012-08-14T20:19:00Z
<p>Dear Dr Laura,</p>
<p>When I lost my job as an HR Manager in 2010, I applied for unemployment benefits for the first time in my life. At first I was ashamed, worried, angry (at the employer who let me go) and scared, but after the first couple of months I began to enjoy the new freedom. I bought a very used bike and started to check out local trails, both on the bike and walking with my dogs. I also renewed my friendship with my gym. I felt great and had a purpose - to get in shape. I admit I didn't job hunt as much as I probably should have but I found something soo much better: peace and contentment with the little things in life. I also discovered I could conquer challenges I never thought I could. Whether it was a climb up a steep hillside, crossing a slippery creek, or biking 20 miles just to see a beautiful view, I could do it.</p>
<p>I truly enjoyed that first year; then I decided I needed something more. Having no grandkids of my own (despite 4 adult children - grrrr - but there are no marriages, no babies, so it's actually a good thing), I decided to become a part-time babysitter for a family with 3 little boys. It's a good family and mom only works 2 swing shifts a week so I don't feel like they are letting someone else raise the kids, just giving the boys a third person's perspective. I tell them my job is to make sure they become good men and make three women happy.</p>
<p>When the benefits ran out I needed more cash to survive but wasn't willing to give up all my biking/hiking time, so I picked up another part time job cleaning for a young couple who has too many projects and the financial ability to hire help. There are no children involved so I am ok with it.</p>
<p>Both jobs are very close to home, satisfying in their own way and pay pretty darn well. Best thing is I still get to explore trails and my dogs are happy for the time I spend with them. I don't miss the corporate world and office politics. I am also in the best shape of my life and when I miss office "goodies in the lunch room" I simply bake some healthy muffins. Oh yea, after 55 years, I have finally had time to learn to cook!!</p>
<p>Love your show!</p>
<p>Leslie</p>
Staff
2012-08-14T20:19:00Z
Smart Women Don't Always Make Wise Mothers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Smart-Women-Dont-Always-Make-Wise-Mothers/559258771190825038.html
2012-08-14T20:15:00Z
2012-08-14T20:15:00Z
<p>My story about day care:</p>
<p>My sister has a 2-year-old and is pregnant with her second. She works full-time as an attorney. She had her daughter in day care at the home of an older local woman with no license. While there, my niece had a black eye and a severely damaged tooth (which turned black and required multiple dental appointments). These incidents were blamed on my niece, who the day care provider said was clumsy and stumbled. The day care provider recently brought her son back from a prison stint for charges related to an aggravated DUI. This is his second lengthy stay in prison. It was after learning the prison son was coming home to live with the day care provider that my sister pulled my niece out. My niece now goes to a church day care where she is having potty training accidents and not napping. I hate thinking about what my niece has been exposed to.</p>
<p>I am the opposite of my sister - also an attorney, but I gave up a $100,000+ job to stay home with my daughter (4-years-old). I stay home because I listened to you! Especially during those long data waiting for bar results!</p>
<p>Margot</p>
Staff
2012-08-14T20:15:00Z
Not Caught Up in Sibling Rivalry
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Not-Caught-Up-in-Sibling-Rivalry/63857631741578494.html
2012-08-13T21:42:00Z
2012-08-13T21:42:00Z
<p>Hi.</p>
<p>I had a very wise mother in that she did not make sure that when one person got something all of us also got something of similar value. We were taught to wait for our turn. Her advice, if we complained of a sibling getting something was: "Your turn is coming." She explained how life is and we all can't have everything alike, but life has a way of bringing us things when we wait our turn. It is a very valuable lesson.</p>
<p>The things she taught us worked pretty well because all of us 10 children have not been caught up in sibling rivalry. Any feelings of inequity have been very mild and soon forgotten. We have been amazed at all the hurt feelings in siblings of other families and the resulting drama (and alienation) over things like this and other things as well such as "Mama loved you more than me" type garbage.</p>
<p>We have had very few hurt feelings and problems which seems to surprise many people but we, in turn, are shocked at how siblings treat each other in many families. After all, if we do not have each other then we would be missing one of the most wonderful and satisfying things in life--and that is to know we have each other there when we so need support and love. Our parents are long gone, but we have each other. When one is successful, it is a cause for celebration--not jealousy!!</p>
<p>I am so grateful for my family!!!!</p>
<p>Sharon</p>
Staff
2012-08-13T21:42:00Z
Financial Favorites in my Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Financial-Favorites-in-my-Family/872865321606231690.html
2012-08-13T21:39:00Z
2012-08-13T21:39:00Z
<p>I am the second oldest child: older brother, me, younger sister, younger brother. We're all in our forties and fifties. Our mom is widowed, Mom made my sister executor of her will and trust. In turn, my sister now has her name on the houses Mom owns which were supposedly in the trust account. Ha.</p>
<p>My sister gets monthly fees for managing a house my younger brother lives in (cheap rent, twice divorced). I am conservator of my retired older brother who has had many mental break downs. I am not paid, and a poor stay-at-home mom, married with children who are now 18, and 21 -- good kids. My family and I have no contact with my younger siblings. I don't know what will happen when my mom is gone. We don't do holidays either as my sister controls all. On top of this, she wants my brother's 1/4 of the trust. I doubt if I will see a penny. My life is strained.</p>
<p>I have asked about setting up a trust for our older brother or a copy of the will, but this falls on deaf ears. I also oversaw the care of my dementia dad (now gone) with little financial help. I hate favoritism.</p>
<p>Unpaid care-giving, financially and emotionally is difficult and wrong.</p>
<p>A.</p>
Staff
2012-08-13T21:39:00Z
Look at How Cute He Is! Oh Wait, There's More...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Look-at-How-Cute-He-Is!-Oh-Wait,-Theres-More.../443607042123570267.html
2012-08-10T21:17:00Z
2012-08-10T21:17:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Considering I was 17 when I first saw my husband, my first thought was, "Ooooo, he's cute!"</p>
<p>I had a friend who went to my church and she invited him one day. We got to know one another going to youth group. At the time he was on-again-off-again with another friend of theirs and when we met he was on with her.</p>
<p>I made it known that I thought he was cute and that I liked him, but I wasn't a home wrecker so I decided to just be happy for them.</p>
<p>When they graduated high school (he was a year older than me and went to a different high school) their relationship took a turn for the worse. We went to a Christian youth camp over the summer and I REALLY got to know him. Not once did he ever bad mouth his girlfriend or complain to me about her. The only inappropriate thing he did with me was give me a hug before we departed, which I forced him into! LOL</p>
<p>And then when I got to know him more I noticed how gentlemanly he was. He never made crude or rude comments about women and that was a drastic change of scenery compared to the bozos of my high school.</p>
<p>To this day he's incredibly gentlemanly when it comes to women. I fell in love with him because of it!</p>
<p>Katherine</p>
Staff
2012-08-10T21:17:00Z
Getting Infected on the Internet
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Getting-Infected-on-the-Internet/-5578635654419004.html
2012-08-10T21:15:00Z
2012-08-10T21:15:00Z
<p>Something I learned when my son was 14.</p>
<p>I never allowed computer access from a bedroom when our kids were young. Thank heavens. But our shared computer became infected with all sorts of porn links to the point where even my printer was printing porn from our word processor.</p>
<p>It turns out my son visited a video gaming hint site. Due to target marketing, the porn mongers know that gaming sites are frequented by young males. And these sites are frequently infected with all sorts of trash.</p>
<p>Thank heavens I never allowed my personal computer to be used by the kids. Having a porn infected computer could cost me my reputation or even my job, especially if I had inadvertently spread the infections to the corporate network.</p>
<p>This is just something to keep in mind when your kids start gaming.</p>
<p>Gary</p>
Staff
2012-08-10T21:15:00Z
Time to Move Out!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Time-to-Move-Out!/839110367328058716.html
2012-08-09T20:25:00Z
2012-08-09T20:25:00Z
<p>I want to let your caller know the advice you gave her to 'pack her son a lunch' is spot on! How do I know? You gave it to me 2 years ago.</p>
<p>Our son, who was a good boy; had good grades, not involved in drugs or alcohol, but for some reason had no drive. After a year of working and then went onto University, we discovered he had been not been going to classes and lied about his grades. He was involved in gaming and allowed that to become his drug of choice.</p>
<p>I called my dear Dr. Laura and although I was pretty sure of what your advice was going to be, I clearly needed to hear it from your lips. We gave him a month to find a place and a job and behold after 30 days he had not found accommodations or a job. In the middle of a January winter in Canada, we turned him out. My eyes were swollen from tears for the first month even though I knew it was the only solution that would save him.</p>
<p>I am happy to report, this fall he will be going to University and is paying for all of it himself!!! He has asked to come home, and we are happy to make that happen with conditions. He is quite agreeable to our terms and has a sense of pride in paying for his upcoming year. He has become a man I am proud to call my son. He has overcome many hurdles, including being homeless. He now values hard work, but most of all understands that the love of family sometimes comes in unexpected ways, but is always there, sometimes guiding if need be.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura. God Bless,</p>
<p>Donna</p>
Staff
2012-08-09T20:25:00Z
Words for Teenagers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Words-for-Teenagers/424162009879398955.html
2012-08-09T20:17:00Z
2012-08-09T20:17:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>This was shared by someone on Facebook and I thought you would love it!</p>
<p>"Northland College Principal John Tapene has offered the following words from a judge who regularly deals with youth:</p>
<p>'Always we hear the cry from teenagers "What can we do, where can we go?"</p>
<p>'My answer is this: Go home, mow the lawn, wash the windows, learn to cook, build a raft, get a job, visit the sick, study your lessons, and after you've finished, read a book. Your town does not owe you recreational facilities and your parents do not owe you fun.</p>
<p>'The world does not owe you a living, you owe the world something. You owe it your time, energy and talent so that no one will be at war, in sickness and lonely again. In other words, grow up, stop being a cry baby, get out of your dream world and develop a backbone not a wishbone. Start behaving like a responsible person. You are important, you are needed. It's too late to sit around and wait for somebody to do something someday. Someday is now and that somebody is you!' "</p>
<p>Sounds a lot like a loving dose of Dr. Laura to me!</p>
<p>Sue</p>
Staff
2012-08-09T20:17:00Z
Regret I Didn't Speak Frankly
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Regret-I-Didnt-Speak-Frankly/987295424402863919.html
2012-08-08T21:51:00Z
2012-08-08T21:51:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am 53-years-old and I wouldn't trade what I now know for being young again. There are many areas in which I have gained expertise through life experience, but the one thing I wish I could have been in my younger days was more assertive. <br /><br />I wish I would have opened my mouth more to say what I was really feeling. The reason I didn't was because I didn't want to seem like a whiner or a complainer. A simple example of this: driving in someone's car with the air conditioning blowing arctic air at me. I'd be shivering, but when asked if I was comfortable - I would reply with a smile and a head nod. Or when offered something to eat or drink, I could have been dying of starvation or thirst, but I would have said, "No, thank you." Those are silly examples, but truthfully, there have been so many times, I have always regretted not being able to tell the truth.</p>
<p>I finally realized I have not been true to myself. That I have suffered unnecessarily for the sake of being "polite." I guess this dawned on me when I had children and I coached them to advocate for themselves - of course, in a diplomatic, respectful way. I have learned from my own teachings and now have no problem speaking to people honestly. Whether it's a coworker who is pushy and bossy, or a rude person in line at a store, I have learned the lesson that being honest and forthright is good for communication and leaves speculation out of the human equation. I have heard you say so many times over the years that we need to have conversations with people. We are not mind readers.</p>
<p>Thank you for all of your sage advice. You have been my guiding light.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Danielle (a listener for over 20 years)</p>
Staff
2012-08-08T21:51:00Z
Toddling About the Town
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Toddling-About-the-Town/57498421386347242.html
2012-08-08T21:48:00Z
2012-08-08T21:48:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura</p>
<p>I have an awful day care story of complete horror for any parent.</p>
<p>My husband's co-worker ran into a local police officer at the store one day. (This community is pretty small, so people know each other by name.) The officer proceeded to talk to him about the crazy incident involving his 2-3 year old (who was in day care). The father, in a state of shock, didn't know of any "incident" at the time.</p>
<p>The officer proceeded to tell him how earlier in the week he picked up the man's toddler wandering around town. In fact, the toddler wasn't just in town but in very close proximity to the main highway. (Did I mention he was supposed to be in day care?) Anyway, the child was returned by the officer safe and sound to the facility. But nothing was ever said to the mom or dad until Dad heard it from the officer. Needless to say the parents were fuming and pulled their child out of day care right away. What a total nightmare!<br /> <br />I guess it does really pay to be a stay-at-home mom. That way you always know where your kids are and what they're doing.</p>
<p>K.</p>
Staff
2012-08-08T21:48:00Z
Moving More, Eating Less
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Moving-More,-Eating-Less/316340005617354627.html
2012-08-07T22:35:00Z
2012-08-07T22:35:00Z
<p>One of the ways I keep myself moving more is by not waiting until I FEEL like it. If I don't feel like working out (which is most of the time!), I tell myself to at least go for a minimum time (which for me personally, is a 30-minute cardio session - very doable) and I can stop after the minimum time is met. I almost always go longer, and sometimes my energy level INCREASES while I'm at the gym or working out and I kick out a great workout.</p>
<p>As for eating less, that's always a struggle, but I don't want to undo my workout, so I use that as an incentive. Last year, I lost 30 pounds by eating less (and much healthier food) and working out. All the while I was doing this, I had hypothyroidism (I didn't know it at the time), so I don't accept thyroid problem excuses from people when they use that as an excuse to be lazy.</p>
<p>Thanks for being such an inspiring woman, Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>Jennifer</p>
Staff
2012-08-07T22:35:00Z
Day Care Proud?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Day-Care-Proud/-785551560919500353.html
2012-08-07T22:33:00Z
2012-08-07T22:33:00Z
<p>My husband's adult son and daughter-in-law, brag about their three-year-old in day care. They pay extra for her to have computer classes and "tumble" classes. But they brag that their daughter knows and can name every child's parent who comes into the day care to pick up or drop off their kid. She says, "That's Sally's mother!" Know how she can do this? She is the first child dropped off at 5:30am when the day care opens and she is the last child picked up at 6pm, when the day care closes.</p>
<p>All I can hear is you in my head, when these parents share their "good" day care stories. I think they must share these stories to help cover their shame of how long their child stays in day care each week. But sometimes I doubt they even know what they are doing. Oh yeah, they are having another baby this month. He will be in day care at 6 weeks of age for the same time period!</p>
<p>A.</p>
Staff
2012-08-07T22:33:00Z
Dads Matter to Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dads-Matter-to-Kids/-652946924813082709.html
2012-08-06T19:42:00Z
2012-08-06T19:42:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura;</p>
<p>I have many favorite photos of my children, but if I had to choose it's the first day of school with their backpacks on their backs being walked to school by their dad. Each year, I stand behind them and snap the photo. My boys walk so proudly as if they are thinking "I'm a big boy now."</p>
<p>My other photo I often take is, once again, with my two boys and their dad walking on the beach with their pants rolled up (they hold them up anyway). These are just really good family moments.</p>
<p>Now that you have me thinking about the why...I guess it's because I never had moments like this with my dad. It's nice knowing I can give them to my kids.<br />What a great feeling! Thanks Dr. Laura.</p>
<p>Angela</p>
Staff
2012-08-06T19:42:00Z
Moms Matter to Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Moms-Matter-to-Kids/73093104546122253.html
2012-08-06T19:40:00Z
2012-08-06T19:40:00Z
<p><br />One of my favorite pictures of my kids is one that was taken in our backyard in a small plastic pool when all three kids were young.</p>
<p>My three children are all within 3 1/2 years in age. In this picture, my youngest is about 6 months old so my oldest would have been about 4 at the time.</p>
<p>I keep this picture over my desk at work and look at it every day.</p>
<p>The thing I like most about the picture is the content look on the kids' faces, they look secure and worry free, nothing to be concerned about as long as the hose doesn't get a kink in it.</p>
<p>This was all made possible because they had a stay-at-home mom. As parents we made a lot of sacrifices to have my wife at home for 20 years. Her last day at work was the day before Jamie was born. Now we have 3 well-adjusted, responsible and productive young adults.</p>
<p>Tom</p>
Staff
2012-08-06T19:40:00Z
Most Memorable First Day of School
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Most-Memorable-First-Day-of-School/-244231198284252873.html
2012-08-03T21:30:00Z
2012-08-03T21:30:00Z
<p><br />The first day of school for me always came with jitters and a stomach so nervous, I could have thrown up at any moment. It's ironic I now work in a school and I'm happy to say I don't feel that way anymore!</p>
<p>I have one memory other than my stomach that comes to mind with a smile... It was 9th grade. I met up with a girl I had known in 5th grade but was separated during our middle school years due to a division of the district. We were so happy to be sitting in the same math class. There were still several minutes before the final bell rang and she jumped up and declared she had to go to the bathroom. She asked me to tell the teacher so that if the bell should ring before she returned, he would be aware she had really been there on time. The bell rang, and the teacher walked in the door at the same time and hit the ground running with his first day of school spiel. I had no time to tell him about Melonie's whereabouts. A good minute after the bell had rung, Melonie walked into the room with her head held high, confident that her tardiness was noted. She strolled across the front of the room to the far side front row where we were seated. The teacher stopped talking and stared at her. I almost hit the floor laughing. Her skirt was tucked into the top of her pantyhose! (I'm dating myself, I know). When the teacher asked her why she was late, she looked at me with that, "didn't you tell him" look. I said, "Melonie, your skirt is tucked into your underwear." She turned purple. To this day, before I leave a ladies' room, I smooth my hand across my bottom to make SURE I am covered!</p>
<p>Danielle</p>
Staff
2012-08-03T21:30:00Z
What a Difference a Year Can Make
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-a-Difference-a-Year-Can-Make/536346367554772746.html
2012-08-03T21:27:00Z
2012-08-03T21:27:00Z
<p>I remember well my first day of seventh grade, which was my first day of Junior High School. I was so scared, I threw up that morning. I was 11-years-old, a December baby, one of the youngest in my class. I was physically undeveloped and very shy. I "knew" I was not ready for the transition. I still remember that year as being very traumatic for me. The older girls in P.E. class would watch me undress (I didn't wear a bra yet!), and I began changing clothes in the shower, all the time dreading the thought of someone throwing open the shower curtain.</p>
<p>When my own daughter came along with a late September birthday, I closely watched how her development compared with the other children her age which were starting kindergarten. Although she was very intelligent, her skills such as cutting and pasting were much less developed than her peers. My husband and I decided to hold her back another year. She began kindergarten the fall she turned six and proceeded to excel in school and also be at ease socially. She graduated from college summa cum laude and has friends all over the world. What a difference a year can make.</p>
<p>Thank you for taking a stand on what is best for children.</p>
<p>Linda</p>
Staff
2012-08-03T21:27:00Z
Mama Should've Married Me Off Sooner!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mama-Shouldve-Married-Me-Off-Sooner!/415110778220961798.html
2012-08-02T20:37:00Z
2012-08-02T20:37:00Z
<p>I was listening to your commentary on "<a href="/programhighlights?date=20120726">How to do Well in College</a>". It reminded me of my experience.</p>
<p>After dropping classes right and left, and being put on academic probation, I had a rough start in my college career. Then in my junior year, I met my wonderful husband. I was so impressed because he made the dean's list several times, and often times did something that I had only heard of. It was called studying. To my surprise, if I wanted to hang out with him, I had to study because that is what he spent time doing.</p>
<p>Then, the summer before our last year, we married. Needless to say my husband's habits rubbed off on me, and during my last year of college I made the dean's list as well! My mom was so impressed and excited. She jokingly said, "Wow if I would have known that getting married was all it took to get you focused then I would have married you off a lot sooner!" In reality, my husband taught me how to study and I soon learned a smart woman was way more impressive to him than a cute one. The better I began to do, the more confident I became, and the more I wanted to continue on that path.</p>
<p>Like my mom said after I made the dean's list, "Miracles do happen everyday!"</p>
<p>Marissa</p>
Staff
2012-08-02T20:37:00Z
Listen Up Young Women!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Listen-Up-Young-Women!/-638625550293768809.html
2012-08-02T20:35:00Z
2012-08-02T20:35:00Z
<p>If anyone could do 10 things to mess up her life, I have done more than that. I got married too young postponing my education, had babies right away, mismanaged money, divorced, remarried. You name it, I did it. I have so many regrets: I worked from day one as an executive assistant. I finally got my college degree at age 40, but it doesn't seem to have given me any advantages. I am very good at what I do and I receive a lot of praise for my work, but no real advancement. I work around incredibly accomplished women and I can't help but think what could have been for me.</p>
<p>However, my biggest regret is I put my children through day care, an absent father, an indifferent stepfather, the hell of my bad marriage and divorce, not to mention my exhaustion and stress, just to name a few. We were on our own the last few years of their high school and it was infinitely better and we got along so well and became very close. Most of the time, I am paralyzed by the guilt of what I put them through. I missed so much of their young lives while I worked at dead-end jobs and focused my attention on the wrong man trying desperately to get him to love me.</p>
<p>My sons are incredible young men, husbands and fathers. I have no doubt they love me and they have expressed they believe I did the best I could with bad circumstances. Still, I can't forgive myself and the pain is excruciating.</p>
<p>Eileen</p>
Staff
2012-08-02T20:35:00Z
Taking the Adult Reins in Your Own Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-the-Adult-Reins-in-Your-Own-Home/-655048577938462341.html
2012-08-01T20:18:00Z
2012-08-01T20:18:00Z
<p>I frequently hear you advise callers they have to stand up to their parents. This advice generally is followed by a silence and then a gulp from the caller. I want to share my experience.</p>
<p>Years ago, my mom and dad visited me and my new husband in our home. I don't remember the exact remark my dad made, but I do recall that it was intended to be derogatory toward my husband. I took a deep breath, turned to my dad and said "I can't allow you to insult my husband in our home. You have to leave now. If you can never do that again, you are welcome anytime. Otherwise, don't call me and don't come back." The room went silent. My mom looked like a bomb had just been deployed. My dad started to bluster and tell me everything from him that would be discontinued if I didn't apologize to him. I stood up, repeated my remarks and started him out the door. He blustered all the way and mom looked shell-shocked, even as they drove away.</p>
<p>It took about a week for my dad, who NEVER apologized for anything to call with an apology and a request to start over. We accepted.</p>
<p>Until he died, my dad never truly liked my husband but he always treated him with respect.</p>
<p>Phoenix</p>
Staff
2012-08-01T20:18:00Z
Lessons in Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lessons-in-Love/-372094737494658246.html
2012-08-01T20:12:00Z
2012-08-01T20:12:00Z
<p>Hi Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I want to thank you for your book "Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives." I have reread the Stupid Chivalry chapter over and over again, along with the whole book. I was in a relationship with a woman who had issues due to past emotional abuse. I tried to help her, but had to learn to put aside my stupid chivalry to understand that she would not change. When it came to emotional and physical abuse being put on me by her, I had to put my foot down and make a decision. I did and left. I should have seen the warning signs, and they are now clearer, but at the time, stupid chivalry got in the way.</p>
<p>I could say a lot more but I'm sure you get a lot of these letters. I have learned a few things, and two that come up right now: 1) there are a lot of women I can fall in love with, but I have to choose the one who is right for me; I need to be more choosey in my choices, and 2) while looks attract a man at first, it is the mind of the woman (who she is inside) that is key.</p>
<p>Thank you, Please keep up the good work. I'm a member of your site and I enjoy it!!</p>
<p>Thank you,</p>
<p>Rolf</p>
Staff
2012-08-01T20:12:00Z
College and a Husband... Both by Chance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/College-and-a-Husband...-Both-by-Chance/-225956014147946621.html
2012-07-31T19:13:00Z
2012-07-31T19:13:00Z
<p><br /><em>"Did you ever observe to whom the accidents happen? Chance favors only the prepared mind." </em>- Louis Pasteur</p>
<p>I graduated in the top ten of my high school class, and was accepted into my first choice expensive private college. However, the financial aid package still meant I could not afford to attend this school without going into major debt. In late June, after high school graduation, the director, of the honors program to which I had been admitted, called to ask me why I hadn't registered for classes yet. I admitted I could not afford to attend the school. She made a few phone calls and one of the admissions officers set up interviews with two philanthropic groups. Between the scholarships I had earned and the original aid package, I only had to pay a quarter of the total tuition for four years. That one call changed my life. I later learned as an alumna that often groups award money to incoming freshmen who end up committing to other universities, and then the scholarship money comes available. No doubt I earned those kinds of awards thanks to the care and interest of two admissions counselors on campus.</p>
<p>My husband and I have known each other since elementary school; however, we never dated each other. We grew up several blocks apart. As an adult, I moved back home to save money for my future as I started my teaching career. While roller-skating for exercise in full 80s neon spandex, I saw my friend washing his car outside. I could have just skated by, but by chance I decided to talk. We chatted about our cars (both convertibles) and other things. I was saving to buy a new car at the time. Six months later, I was driving my spiffy new convertible home from work. I started car flirting with the guy in the convertible next to me. Well, it was my friend. We waved each other down and I followed him home... another chancy move. We started chatting again and exchanged numbers. He lived downtown not far from where I went to college, and we talked about going out in the city. The next week he called me up, and we started dating. This month we will be celebrating our 20th anniversary.</p>
<p>So indeed, chance does favor the prepared mind!</p>
<p>Lori</p>
Staff
2012-07-31T19:13:00Z
Are We Becoming Lazy Parents?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Are-We-Becoming-Lazy-Parents/512784706390884358.html
2012-07-31T19:08:00Z
2012-07-31T19:08:00Z
<p>This past week I've become painfully aware of parents handing a child their phones to play a game instead of interacting with the tots.</p>
<p>I watched a 4 yr old with a Thomas the Train toy in his hand enter a lunch place with his dad. Dad was ordering and I asked the boy about Thomas. He told me Thomas was on his birthday cake. Wow, I found out he was 4 and we chatted. The little guy's eyes were everywhere, curious about various things. When Dad sat down, instead of engaging with the child, he handed him his phone with some game for the kid to play. The child obviously was more interested in some of the decorations at the restaurant, but Dad seemed oblivious and encouraged the boy to play with the phone. ARRGH! A learning experience and one-on-one time with Dad lost!</p>
<p>In my humble opinion, electronic devices equate to lazy parenting.</p>
<p>I see it everywhere, women with children yapping on their phones not paying attention to their precious charges! No wonder kids don't know how to communicate, make eye contact or interact. I see good moms involve their kids: telling an older child to pick out 5 red apples or something. My kids are no longer little, but I'm proud I involved my children and created memories for them. In return I have lots of happy memories too!</p>
<p>Maria</p>
Staff
2012-07-31T19:08:00Z
Adopting a Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Adopting-a-Family/-673059776916173497.html
2012-07-30T19:56:00Z
2012-07-30T19:56:00Z
<p>I first learned I would be a father via a phone call. Not that unusual, I know, but there's a twist: this was a call from a county worker. She left both me and my wife a voicemail saying, "Hey it's [me] - give me a call." We were in the adoption process and had completed our training. The casual nature of the message made us both think that maybe we'd forgotten to sign a form or something. Not quite.</p>
<p>Once we called her back we learned that there was a sibling group of 3, (which fit our stated parameters), ages 8 months to 4 years. They needed a "priority placement" or they would be adopted separately. After much talk and prayer we knew our home was where they belonged.</p>
<p>After a short but still gradual transition, they moved in and spent their first night together under our roof.</p>
<p>They are now 6, 7, and 10-years-old. All are excelling in school, (as in literally off the charts), and My Lovely Daughter (MLD) is a BLACK BELT at 10! The boys are doing well and will be black belts at about the same time. I'm teaching MLD to shoot and each has a mini-compound bow.</p>
<p>I always imagined having a family and this one is better than any I could have dreamed up.</p>
<p>Chris</p>
Staff
2012-07-30T19:56:00Z
Bucking the Day Care Trend
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bucking-the-Day-Care-Trend/923354053970088096.html
2012-07-30T19:50:00Z
2012-07-30T19:50:00Z
<p>My 27-year-old daughter and her husband are starting to talk about having my FIRST GRANDCHILD! She is prepared to leave her career once she is a mom, and her husband is on board since she made it clear during pre-marriage counseling that being a stay at home mom was a "deal breaker" if he wanted to be the father of her 84 children, (yes, she listens to you). Leaving her career is not a popular decision amongst her peers. Believe it or not even her mother-in-law is against the concept of her son having to be the sole bread winner in the family! My daughter sees the value of having a mother raising her own children since she was raised by ME, her awesome mom! My son-in-law was raised by various day care providers. I guess that is the reason his mom cannot see how much a kid benefits from having his mom at home. I am so proud of my daughter and her amazing husband who are willing to 'buck' the trend of letting others raise their children. They are happy to make the sacrifice that so many of their friends are not ready to make.</p>
<p>Thank you for being the voice of reason and right in today's selfish world! My daughter will be sure to have MY GRANDCHILDREN listen to you as I am sure you will be nagging us for many, many more years. We love you Mother Laura!</p>
<p>Sheila</p>
Staff
2012-07-30T19:50:00Z
Dad Taught Me...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dad-Taught-Me.../-776848612436575001.html
2012-07-27T22:02:00Z
2012-07-27T22:02:00Z
<p>Fathers have taught us numerous life-lessons. Here are some words of wisdom to take to heart...</p>
<p><br /><strong>Deana:</strong><br />The most important thing I learned from my father was "to walk a straight line". My father was very strict growing up (100% Italian, off the boat), which as a kid was hard to accept, but I appreciate it more now than ever. My dad repeated those words to me quite often, "Walk a straight line" which has always stuck with me. Those simple words always made me think twice before I did something I knew may not be right. That phrase alone replaced the birds and bees talk. By that he meant don't get pregnant before you are married and don't get into any kind of trouble you will regret later.</p>
<p>I have him to thank for where I am today. I never did drugs, never smoked, never had a child out of wedlock and still had a great childhood! I chose a wonderful husband and am blessed with two children who I now am teaching this same lesson to. Our marriage has its ups and downs but we work through it, just like my parents did (another lesson I learned). It's so easy going down the wrong path in life, but if you take a few moments to just think twice before you act, the right path is simple to follow and will lead to great rewards.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for this opportunity to share this with you!</p>
<p><br /><strong>Sally:</strong><br />If you want something, work for it and save until you can pay cash, otherwise, you don't need it. The only exceptions were in purchasing a modest house and car, but then pay it off as quickly as possible.</p>
<p>My parents raised four kids with Mom staying at home to care for us. Our luxury was a road trip every summer. We always had what we needed, but not necessarily every thing we thought we wanted. Now, I know why. I recently found out I made more money my first year of teaching at the very bottom of the pay scale than my dad was making at the same time in his job of 25 years as a city government employee.</p>
<p>Thank you for teaching us life long lessons, Dad and Mom!</p>
<p><br /><strong>Debbie:</strong><br />I've been thinking about my dad a lot lately since he died last October. I remember him always telling my sisters and me that "it's not what people say, it's what they do" that shows you their character. I found that to be so true as I grew up. My dad was the BEST example of this his entire life. My mother used to say "your father would give the shirt off his back to help someone if they needed it!" We lived in the country and many times my dad would help someone on the road by our house who had run out of gas, filling their tank with what gas he had in the garage for the lawn mower, and not taking any money from them, just telling them to help someone else out who may be in need. I sure miss my kind-hearted father!</p>
<p><br /><strong>Frank:</strong><br />1. Never quit your job until you have another one. (He did this a couple of times leaving us in financial hardship.)<br />2. If you leave a job and have a retirement, leave the retirement in its account for later when you really retire (He spent two retirements trying to start businesses that failed and left him with only Social Security in his old age.)<br />3. Keep positive. When my dad quit his job and we lost our house, he did not leave us or my mother. He kept trying and found employment to provide for us. Subsequently he and Mom were able to purchase another home.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Kristy:</strong><br />The most important thing I learned from my father was how important it is to give your all to everything you do. My father fully focuses on whatever he is doing. Even if all he is doing is relaxing, he gives everything to just being in that moment and taking a real break. But he works with the same determination and he plays with the same determination. What I learned from him is that nothing is worth doing if you are not going to give it everything you have. Give 100%, every second of every day. Otherwise, why bother?</p>
Staff
2012-07-27T22:02:00Z
My Studying Strategy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Studying-Strategy/-549420683186998860.html
2012-07-27T21:58:00Z
2012-07-27T21:58:00Z
<p>I was listening to your program on SiriusXM yesterday when you started talking about the methods you used to study while in college and had a deja vu moment. I was a solid B student in high school but still managed to get a half-tuition scholarship to a small science specialty college in PA. I will admit this was over 30 years ago. I employed similar methods as you - complete with colored pens. The only difference was I would first take notes on scrap paper and each night I would recopy those notes into notebooks using the colored pens to emphasize etc. Then when it came to studying for the test I would go over those notes over and over again. At times it did not even look like I was studying but when it came to exams I could literally see the page in my mind, allowing me to "read" the answer from my notes. On the weekends I also made a schedule of what I was going to study, when and for how long. These techniques helped me to a 4.0 GPA undergrad and grad school. They also worked when I returned to school for a second career. And this was without the help of a computer, internet and all electronic media. No word processor. I had to use an electric typewriter, carbon paper and bottles of liquid paper.</p>
<p>Not everyone is or was college material. For some reason these days everyone is pushed to college when some are not college material. What happened to vocational schools? We had a vocational high school with classes for electricians, plumbers, carpenters, mechanics, etc.</p>
<p>I really enjoy your show and wish society would wise up especially when it comes to our kids. I think some things changed when the shame was taken out of teenage moms? I know of 1 girl in my senior class that was pregnant and she married the boy before graduation. That was in 1977 and 4 years later after my BS, I substitute taught between undergrad and grad schools. The first pregnant girl I had in class made me do a double take and when I had one in an 8th grade class I could not believe it. I now see girls as young as 12 give birth, it is criminal. Enough of my soap box.</p>
<p>Take care and stay on the air.</p>
<p>Ellen</p>
Staff
2012-07-27T21:58:00Z
On Being a First Time Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/On-Being-a-First-Time-Mom/-476593704031767547.html
2012-07-26T21:49:00Z
2012-07-26T21:49:00Z
<p>I decided to go to school to learn about child development. I did not have the best upbringing, and knew when I had children, I wanted to be the best mother I could be. I actually excelled in college and I was now a "Child Development Major". Then I had my first child and I remember how tiny she was and how absolutely beautiful she was and still is! Once they put her in my arms, I knew motherhood was for me, until that first night, trying to breast feed, worrying that she wasn't getting enough, should I supplement... The questions went on and on.</p>
<p>Now she is 26 years old, a mother, and a terrific mother at that! She is still the most beautiful child to me, but of course so are my other two! I am happy to say, I survived, so did they. There were some moments through adolescence I wasn't sure who would survive!!!! I love my children, they are all very close to one another and to us, so I guess I didn't do too bad after all. I learned with each one, that raising children is a gift, one that I have treasured and continue to treasure.</p>
<p>I am glad I went to school, because it helped me to be a better parent. I realized when raising children, not all the answers are in the text books, they are in your heart, too!</p>
<p>Karen</p>
Staff
2012-07-26T21:49:00Z
Stirring Up Controversy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stirring-Up-Controversy/11249377222791375.html
2012-07-26T21:45:00Z
2012-07-26T21:45:00Z
<p>Recently I threw a bridal shower for my husband's sister. It was just family and a few close friends of hers. I brought along my usual gift of "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". Well, little did I realize the controversy it would raise with this group. There are quite a few feminists among my husband's family and among his sister's friends. Grandma was calling me all sorts of names, the bride's friend was calling you all sorts of names, and my other sister-in-law was expressing that we cannot "cater" to a man. After a few minutes of trying to defend my views and your name, I politely changed the subject.</p>
<p>While replaying the scene for my husband later that evening, he said, "Well, it doesn't really matter what those people think, because Dr. Laura is always right, and if those women listened to half of what she said their husbands would be as happy as I am." As I looked into his eyes, I knew he wasn't just saying this...he meant it! I am so grateful that my man is happy! We have a wonderful marriage and two sweet children. While some of the feminist women I mentioned have failed marriages and visibly unhappy husbands, mine hurries home after work every day and gives me a big, sexy movie kiss and I know he's happy to be home!</p>
<p>Well, my husband's sister has agreed to read the book with an open mind and I hope it helps in her marriage as much as it has helped in mine. Thank you for fulfilling your calling on this Earth of helping direct people to choose the better way. I am forever grateful to you!</p>
<p>Melissa</p>
Staff
2012-07-26T21:45:00Z
How I Found Out I Was a Parent
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Found-Out-I-Was-a-Parent/486240075175677409.html
2012-07-25T20:14:00Z
2012-07-25T20:14:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My husband and I had been trying for 9 months to get pregnant. It was Christmas 2002 when we got a phone call from the National Bone Marrow Registry. I had registered when I was in college to be a bone marrow donor. They notified me that I had been tagged as a potential match for a young man. I went through all the blood tests and meetings, and in February they confirmed I was a match and we set up a time in March to do the bone marrow donation.</p>
<p>The week before the donation, they sent me for blood tests to make sure I was healthy. Then they call me and say "We can not go through with the donation because you are pregnant, about 3 weeks" I said it must not be true and they ordered another test. The next day another call, same information "you are definitely pregnant." I was so torn because on one hand we finally had the baby we wanted, but on the other hand they had told me if I didn't do the donation the patient would have no other options. So, obviously I could not do the procedure and it took a long time to get past the feeling that I had "killed" someone because I became a mom. But as they told me then, and I believe to this day, everything happens for a reason and maybe my brilliant daughter will go on one day to cure the cancer that took that young man's life.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Mackenzie and Katie's Mom</p>
Staff
2012-07-25T20:14:00Z
Great-Grandma Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Great-Grandma-Love/-941960707998271576.html
2012-07-25T20:08:00Z
2012-07-25T20:08:00Z
<p>If I could do anything today it would be to have my mother back for just one day. Mother has dementia and her behavior is very erratic now -- she doesn't always recognize people. Her physical capabilities are pretty much gone and just hugging can cause pain even though she never refuses one. I would love to have her back to share my wonderful grandchildren with her. And have them experience the same love and affection that I did. I would like to see her read to them a wonderful story, or bake cookies with them and spoil them in a way that only Great-Grandma can! To give them special Great-Grandma memories that would last throughout their life time. To let them know her and she to know them. Just 24 hours of Great-Grandma love!</p>
<p>Mary</p>
Staff
2012-07-25T20:08:00Z
Cementing My Faith
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cementing-My-Faith/-579587336968628880.html
2012-07-24T21:06:00Z
2012-07-24T21:06:00Z
<p>The year was 1970, and the event was the Apollo 13 space mission to the moon. As we all now know, a defect in one of the oxygen tanks led to an explosion which nearly killed the three lunar astronauts.</p>
<p>I recall as a 12-year old boy how my dear momma, who fed my interest in science and history by taking me and my brothers to many museums, told me of the explosion. This shook me very much as I thought our NASA space program was run by gods, and that no harm could ever befall our Superman astronauts!</p>
<p>My momma told me that only through a miracle could our brave men return safely to earth and be reunited with their families. As my family was very important to me, I was able to quickly identify with the grieving and anxious families awaiting their loved ones in space. This was the first time I recall ever praying outside of church.</p>
<p>So I prayed alongside with my momma, as only I knew how on my knees and with sincerity of heart, asking God to spare the lives of three dads who needed to safely return to their wives and children. After several days of vigil, our prayers were answered and although the landing on the moon was canceled, the three brave astronauts came home. I would later learn that many other children throughout the world were also praying for the Apollo 13 astronauts.</p>
<p>My faith was reinforced as a child, secure in the knowledge that God does listen to our prayers. Of course, now that I'm an adult, I know God doesn't always grant us our requests, but for a few days in 1970 during a national tragedy that had a happy ending, my faith was cemented for life.</p>
<p>Arturo</p>
Staff
2012-07-24T21:06:00Z
She Didn't Always Listen to Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/She-Didnt-Always-Listen-to-Me/979075676518453494.html
2012-07-24T21:02:00Z
2012-07-24T21:02:00Z
<p>Whether you realize it or not, you have helped me raise my daughter. She is 23 and over the years we have listened to hours of your shows together. As a mother, I know there is only so much she will hear from me so it helped to know she was listening to good, solid advice from you. There were times she didn't always make the best choices and I remember thinking, "I realize you can ignore me, but Dr. Laura???"</p>
<p>I am happy to say she recently married a wonderful young man who just graduated from the air force academy and will be starting flight training soon in Texas. I received an email from her I thought you might enjoy. She starts it by referring to a recent source of contention about phone calls.</p>
<p>She writes: <em>Since our last call things have continued to go pretty smoothly. I've had to put my pride away a few times already (surprising?) and realize choose to be a wife over being right about some stupid little thing that I won't remember in 20 minutes. In those moments I thought of both you and Dr. Laura cheering me on for making the right choice. While, I haven't gotten to writing her about it, I did want to shoot you a little thank you for being the kind of wife to Dad who didn't hand down a zillion excuses for me to not date my husband. Instead, you handed down a zillion reminders that it is best to put my entitled feelings aside and thank my husband for being the kind of man who deserves a loving wife. Love you!</em></p>
<p><br />You must hear from a lot of people how much you have impacted their lives for the better but I wanted you to know I will always appreciate all that you have done for so many but especially my girl.</p>
<p>God bless,</p>
<p>Cindi</p>
Staff
2012-07-24T21:02:00Z
Being Blessed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-Blessed/487192440528617490.html
2012-07-23T19:34:00Z
2012-07-23T19:34:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>We are richly blessed by two amazing daughters, one 7 1/2, the second almost 4 1/2. Both pregnancies were prayed for and planned, and while both happened within a reasonable time once we were 'trying', the first was truly a fast answer to prayer.</p>
<p>We rarely had (have) time to be intimate, and we're both on different clocks...I'm keen in the morning, and my dearly beloved is interested late at night, so we usually don't find that our 'stars align' in the bedroom. In April of 2004 they did, however, on a Sunday afternoon after the Vancouver Sun Run.</p>
<p>I found out I was pregnant when, at the end of April, I had the privilege of being principal hornist for our high school's spring musical (I was an English and Band teacher on staff) and I actually fell asleep in the orchestra pit during the Sunday matinee performance. I had been finding it extremely difficult to stay awake at school, but had attributed that to my workload. When we went for dinner between the matinee and night-time show, the drama teacher joked that I must be pregnant if I could fall asleep in the 'pit'. That night, after the show, I took a pregnancy test and, sure enough, our first blessing was on her way.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>An avid reader, Brenda</p>
Staff
2012-07-23T19:34:00Z
Learning I'd Be a Parent - A Dad's Story
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-Id-Be-a-Parent---A-Dads-Story/232959675857797830.html
2012-07-23T19:32:00Z
2012-07-23T19:32:00Z
<p>I was at sea on a Navy destroyer in the Caribbean and we had just been ordered to return home to Florida because of the approach of a hurricane. I was informed I had a phone call and the Captain was not happy I was getting called at sea (we had one phone for 350 men @ $10/minute and only a few people were suppose to have the number.) I knew something important had to have happened for my wife to be calling (she had to call my Captain's wife to get the ship's phone number). When I answered the phone, she said, "Hi Dad," as she started to relay to me the information about our son that the adoption agency had given her.</p>
<p>It took us two days to get home, but my wife was waiting on the pier and we left immediately to fly to Colorado where our son was born and meet him for the first time. That was 16 years ago, and being a dad is one of the best things that has ever happened to me!</p>
<p>Blake</p>
Staff
2012-07-23T19:32:00Z
Passion in Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Passion-in-Life/-758722694172946650.html
2012-07-20T21:15:00Z
2012-07-20T21:15:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I'm especially passionate about your latest blog post: <a href="/b/Finding-Your-Passion-in-Life/-691748200092606122.html">Finding Your Passion in Life</a>. I, too, notice the amount of young people who seem so aimless, so <strong>UN</strong>impassioned about life and am so sad for them. I've pondered a lot about this phenomena of "living weekend to weekend" group and am so grateful for your insight and input on this issue.</p>
<p>Personally, I strongly believe question 15 is the most important question of the "how to find your passion" list on the blog -- that we human beings, made as we are, only truly come alive (with passion) when we ask ourselves how we can contribute to others, make other lives better, improve the world somehow and DO IT, even if we doubt we have all that it takes.<br /> <br />I think young people are misguided (I've watched many of my peers in this group flounder) when they think of their life only in terms of what makes them tick or what feels good. This might get them started, but unless they next connect their interests and talents with the reality that the world NEEDS them in someway, that people will be BETTERED by how they particularly serve with their talents, they will only wallow in aimless, drifting, BORING narcissism.</p>
<p>Thank you for your own example of what it means to "find your passion." I know there are countless people who are better because of it.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Sarah</p>
Staff
2012-07-20T21:15:00Z
A Special Moment with Mom While Growing Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Special-Moment-with-Mom-While-Growing-Up/-736205965463602567.html
2012-07-20T21:08:00Z
2012-07-20T21:08:00Z
<p>I grew up on a small family farm. Since we were big enough (by 5 or 6 we had chores around the farm) When we were teenagers my brother and I were hauling the hay from one farm to another to be stacked for winter. We talked our mom into coming and driving the tractor to pull the wagon so we didn't have to keep stopping to load the hay.</p>
<p>After we were loaded my mom headed out to go back to the home farm. My brother and I had climbed up on top of the load of hay and were laying down on top of the bales. Mom got to going at a pretty good clip and went down into a gully and up the other side quite fast and threw about half the load of hay off and us too. It could have been serious but it wasn't and we gave our mom a hard time about dumping us off. Her comeback was, "Behave or I'll dump you off in the hay again!"</p>
<p>I miss you Mom! You did good!</p>
<p>Frank</p>
Staff
2012-07-20T21:08:00Z
Please Give Me Your Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Please-Give-Me-Your-Kids/-16895922823722970.html
2012-07-19T22:18:00Z
2012-07-19T22:18:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am sitting here FUMING after listening to one of your calls from a woman with children. I get so damn mad when divorced or single women with children call in and say they have an (sarcasm on) "issue with their boyfriend." (sarcasm off)</p>
<p>I just don't get it. I really don't. My young adult son passed away last year (from heroin, you read my letter on the air), and I would move heaven and earth...I would die...to have 5 minutes to spend with my boy. And for the record, I spent some of his growing-up years as a divorced mother, and I never once had a man in my house when my son was home. In fact, I really didn't date at all and never remarried. And looking back, I thank God for that. It was precious time I would have deeply regretted missing. I celebrate every moment I spent with him.</p>
<p>For some years, I had to work to support him and me, but I passed up many opportunities to "get ahead" because it would require overtime and the "opportunity" simply paled in comparison to being with my son. Again, I wouldn't change a THING! Thank God my son was more important than feeling important to people who will forget me a month after I retire.</p>
<p>So, despite my everlasting grief, at least I know I gave my boy everything I had, while I had him. What a blessing, indeed! I shudder to think of the guilt I would feel today had it been otherwise. Was I perfect parent? Nope, but I tried my best, and I can say with a clear heart I always put my cherished son first. There is NO gift or responsibility greater than having a child, and I lost my only one, so yes, I get damn mad when these women who call in clearly don't put their children first. I would gratefully take their children off their hands for them in a New York Minute!!!</p>
<p>Fondly,</p>
<p>Pam</p>
Staff
2012-07-19T22:18:00Z
Something to Look Forward to On the Long Ride Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Something-to-Look-Forward-to-On-the-Long-Ride-Home/-32056019100147755.html
2012-07-19T22:10:00Z
2012-07-19T22:10:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Tomorrow will be six months since my husband had an acute stroke in his sleep. He now is in hospice at the Veterans' Care Center. My husband is a disabled veteran, a good family man, a good neighbor, and a provider. We met in 1976 and married in 1978. My husband suffered severe PTSD and complete hearing loss after serving as a helicopter pilot in Viet Nam. We were not blessed with children. The PTSD caused us to divorce... But, we remarried after twenty years. (I went on to earn a doctorate and to devote my life to teaching. My husband went on to work successfully in the aerospace industry.)</p>
<p>Long story short--My sweetheart came back into my life when I had cancer, and we remarried. Now, I am helping him. Since remarrying my husband, my life has been better than I could ever have imagined. We both have been happy and successful, but during the past years of our marriage, we have been able to give each other the love and care we missed when we were young. We never found anyone else. He is my heart. I believe God has a plan and his plan was for us to find each other again so we would be there for each other.</p>
<p>Over the past six months, I have commuted one hour before and after work to visit my husband. He requires skilled nursing so he can not stay at home. People tell me I should not do this and that it is "wearing me out," but I have to see him because I miss him so much. We have had so many struggles over the past six months, but that is another story.</p>
<p>The point of this email is that each afternoon on my way home I listen to your radio show. I agree and laugh with you. I relate to you and am so thankful you are there to give advice to so many young people (as I often do as a department chair). Your show is part of my day and something I look forward to on the hour long ride home after being with my sweetheart. Thank you and thank you for affirming many of my beliefs.</p>
<p>Sharran</p>
Staff
2012-07-19T22:10:00Z
Bringing a Child into an Alcoholic Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bringing-a-Child-into-an-Alcoholic-Home/439266321529396585.html
2012-07-18T21:22:00Z
2012-07-18T21:22:00Z
<p>THANK YOU for your response to the woman whose husband was an alcoholic!!!!! I listened to that call almost in tears. She could have been my mom 40 years ago. I lived with a dad who drank all of my childhood, only becoming sober about 15 years ago. While I am so grateful for his sobriety now, my childhood was awful. Never knowing if there would be a fight, or if the police would be called, or if I've have to pack a "flight bag" to make a quick escape from the house. Telling that woman to have her tubes tied if she decided to stay was exactly what someone should have told my mom. </p>
<p>Now that my dad is sober, he is a wonderful person. I never doubted that he loved me, but that wasn't the point. An active alcoholic cannot maintain any kind of decent life for a child. And I'm sad to say, but growing up in that lifestyle led me to make some very bad choices as well. I am glad to be sober as well and don't "blame" my parents, but I am sure the influence of that lifestyle is what taught me to handle problems with a bottle rather than constructive behavior.</p>
<p>I hope the caller realizes there is so much more being impacted than just her life if she brings a child into that scenario.</p>
<p>Thank you.</p>
<p>Liz</p>
Staff
2012-07-18T21:22:00Z
Helping My Kids With Homework
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Helping-My-Kids-With-Homework/-348801542859084027.html
2012-07-17T19:15:00Z
2012-07-17T19:15:00Z
<p>I like my children to have a snack and relax a bit before diving into homework after school. I usually make them something pretty healthy and sit and talk with them when they come home. On the advice of a smarter woman than me, I make sure I am not distracted by emails, Facebook or the telephone. Electronics are turned off and I give them my undivided attention. We discuss whatever they want to talk about, usually their day at school, but not always. I don't set a timer, but within an hour of getting home they are usually ready to start their homework. If they need help organizing their time, we go over what's due soonest, what task can be accomplished quickest and what tests or quizzes are coming up soon for which they need to start preparing. I also discuss their projects with them and have them bounce their ideas off of me. I might give a few suggestions or ask them questions that get them thinking a bit deeper on their topics.</p>
<p>Whenever they feel completely overwhelmed, I try to calm them down and I help them strategize their time. By staying calm and reassuring them that the work can and will get done, they calm down and relax.</p>
<p>This spring my youngest had trouble with getting all her work done and her grades plummeted immediately following her Bat Mitzvah. We didn't get angry with her, we reassured her she could and would do better and we were there to help her. We made a rule there was not going to be any TV or computer during the school week (Sunday night through Friday afternoon - Not just for her, but for the whole family. Within a few weeks she raised all her grades, my husband and I were better read and my eldest child got a ton of work done ahead of time for high school. I think we're going to start this practice up again come September. My daughter actually thanked me for making this rule.</p>
<p>We also make sure our kids take advantage of before and after school extra help. I guess we're very fortunate our school district offers plenty of extra help and teachers are insistent that children take advantage of it.</p>
<p>Margaret</p>
Staff
2012-07-17T19:15:00Z
Homework, Busy Work: What's the Difference?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Homework,-Busy-Work:-Whats-the-Difference/-861254377343197290.html
2012-07-17T19:11:00Z
2012-07-17T19:11:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>My kid is only in the first grade, but after going through kindergarten, I made the decision to limit what/when homework is done. WHY? I'll tell you:</p>
<p>1. My kid and I read together and she likes to learn by doing, so, we do things together at home; We go to the library, there is no TV in her room, and I let her get the mail so she can read some of the magazines, words on the letters, read street signs, etc.</p>
<p>2. Since she has expressed she is sometimes bored at school, I know that having her do the same boring stuff for homework will only worsen her boredom and I don't want her to become bored with learning, so, as an adult mom, I say, enough is enough;</p>
<p>3. As an 'educated' mother (BS, MA), I know a lot of the 'education' is bunk, meaningless, etc. so, I try to focus on concepts, and in this way, I supplement her education and focus it where I think it needs to be focused, age appropriate, of course;</p>
<p>4. When my kid went to kindergarten, she was already on a first/end of second grade level. I quickly corrected those who would say, "Oh, you're smart. Your teachers have taught you a lot." To which I would say, "You're right-her mom and dad are her eternal teachers and she learned this/that BEFORE going to kindergarten."</p>
<p>5. Finally, I allow her to just have down time (she likes to watch cartoons and she is still very silly (not jaded at all compared to lots of other kids). We cook together, discuss topics on shows like yours, Dennis Prager, Dave Ramsey, Christian and talk radio, etc. I want her to understand and learn that 'school is not the same thing as educated' but that learning is a life-long journey and there's lot to learn, BUT, one has to be able to make priorities, know what's important, and be able to tackle concepts, constructions, ideas, while developing and maintaining memories, friends, families, etc. Basically, I try to teach my kid that balance in life is important-there's a time to work, time to play, time to laugh, cry, learn, and yes, zone-out.</p>
<p>In saying all this (and not to brag at all), most of her friends and family members (her age and older) are 'amazed' at how much she is able to do and that I allow her to do/say/be/think, all the while noting that she STILL has an air of innocence, kid-like, appropriate, silliness, playfulness, love, trust, etc. Oh, by the way, she is also strong-willed, hard-headed, eager, clumsy, sloppy, too!</p>
<p>Evette</p>
Staff
2012-07-17T19:11:00Z
Timing IS Everything!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Timing-IS-Everything!/-630904534937254815.html
2012-07-16T20:57:00Z
2012-07-16T20:57:00Z
<p>First off let me say I have always seemed to listen to you at the wrong times in my life. I listened 20 years ago and then for some reason I stopped. If I had been listening 17 years ago I would possibly not have married the woman I married, I chose wrong.</p>
<p>Then I started listening again for a few years, and then stopped again. If I had been listening 8 years ago, I would possibly not have gotten divorced, I would have fought for my marriage.</p>
<p>Fast forward 8 years and I am finally listening at the right time in my life. I am my kids' dad, I live a mile away from them and spend as much time as possible with them. I have put my personal life on hold until they are out of school, I did not feel it would be fair to them to involve them in another family and the headaches that come with trying to blend 2 families. Their mother unfortunately has not had the same commitment to them. She has had a parade of men through the years that have come into their lives and then had to live through the fallout when these men leave.</p>
<p>Recently, it came to my attention their mother has had them spending the night at the home of the most recent man. Their mother and I have been able to be civil, but when it comes to me calling her on anything she can get very combative. Let me say that in our marriage she was very emasculating and definitely wanted to be the man of the family, and to my detriment, I let her. DR. LAURA TO THE RESCUE!! I put on my big boy undies, "Manned Up" and confronted her tonight about not "shacking up" while she had the kids. Of course she got defensive and started trying to justify it. I explained she had 2 choices. Stop "shacking up" and everything would be fine, or not stop, and I would go to court and ask a judge to put a stop to it. I am sure the battle has just started. I will keep listening for my daily dose of encouragement from you and continue to fight for my kids. I have every confidence that if I keep listening and I am lucky enough one day to find another love, it will be done the right way -- the Dr. Laura way.</p>
<p>Thanks again,</p>
<p>Loren</p>
Staff
2012-07-16T20:57:00Z
Remembering the Summers of my Childhood
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Remembering-the-Summers-of-my-Childhood/375630909289416360.html
2012-07-16T20:54:00Z
2012-07-16T20:54:00Z
<p>My favorite summer memory is getting my allowance for the week, which was 25 cents, and riding my bike, with my best friend, to the penny candy store and filling a bag with all the goodies the quarter would buy: cinnamon popsicles, 5 for a penny licorices, two for a penny packaged sixlets etc. Then coming home and spending the rest of the day playing in the park that was just across the street or just lying in the shade, or roller-skating around the park, playing in the large cardboard boxes that appliances came in, getting all the neighborhood kids together on both blocks and playing kick the can or hide seek. Our wonderful bounty could even be shared because it always lasted until next allowance day. We had it made back then, we just didn't know it.</p>
<p>I hope I win the lottery some day so I can open up my own penny candy store so that most of the kids around here and my grand kids can experience that as well.</p>
<p>Lori</p>
Staff
2012-07-16T20:54:00Z
My Husband Kisses Me Even When I Have a Cold
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husband-Kisses-Me-Even-When-I-Have-a-Cold/484288240513484878.html
2012-07-13T20:18:00Z
2012-07-13T20:18:00Z
<p>I have been a listener for several years. You helped me through a divorce after thirty years of marriage, "You can't beat your head against a wall and have it turn into a pillow" and to choose wisely in my next marriage.</p>
<p>My husband (Jeff) is a true man in every sense of the word. I know he will be faithful and true in my heart, and I know his eyes will never stray. He would slay dragons to protect me. He has embraced my son and our blended family, including the pets. He works in construction and with no work in six months, rather than whining or sitting around, he has started our own business from home becoming a loan signing agent. I am so proud of him for doing this and the business is growing every month.</p>
<p>In January I had a brain aneurism and was in the hospital for two weeks. He spent every night with me in the hospital, then drove home for an hour commute each way, fed our horses, took care of business and returned to stay with me again. That is true love and dedication. Happy to say I am a blessed woman with 100% recovery.</p>
<p>I am my husband's girlfriend, lover, and best friend. I would never say no in the bedroom to this wonderful man, even if I was not well. Even if I have a cold he still wants to kiss me (he puts a baggie on his lips so he won't catch it). He works hard to keep himself in shape so he stays healthy.</p>
<p>I could not be a happier or luckier woman. I definitely feel I have chosen wisely for life!</p>
<p>Barbara</p>
Staff
2012-07-13T20:18:00Z
What I Admire Most About My Spouse...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-I-Admire-Most-About-My-Spouse.../726652544635687585.html
2012-07-13T20:15:00Z
2012-07-13T20:15:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura recently asked Dr. Laura Family members who receive the Daily Dose what they admired most about their spouse. Here are only a few responses of the wide-range of admirable things:</p>
<p><strong>Robyn:</strong><br />I thought this question was most appropriate. We just celebrated our anniversary. We have been married for 44 years. One thing I admire about my husband is the way he has always been supportive of me. When I retired last year, he wasn't happy and didn't know if it was going to work, but he said I could do it and worked harder to make it possible. Marriage is a rocky road but we've worked it out. I never went home to mother and he never complained about me to his co-workers. He always compliments me even when I know I'm not in the best shape. We have 7 children, 3 by c-section. I've had a full hysterectomy and 2 abdominal surgeries for colon cancer and he still tells me I'm hot and sexy (and I'm almost 61). He always makes me feel loved and cared for. He's a hard working man (not a male) and would do anything for me and our family. These are just a few reasons why I admire my husband so much.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Jae:</strong><br />Dr Laura, I admire everything about my spouse. But if I have to pick just one thing, it would be his ability to tolerate me. I was a horrible wife, and it took me nearly 15 years to figure that out. But he tolerated me and stayed with me. I have listened to you for many years now, read the "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands," and I believe I am a better wife to my awesome spouse. He is a great father, provider, husband, and my best friend. He is humble and has no idea what a saint he is for staying with me. I love him with all my heart. Thanks Dr. Laura, for helping me see the light.</p>
<p><strong>Laura:</strong><br />We have been married for 23 years. As everyone else, we have gone through good times and ugly times. But there is one thing I love about my husband, and I always go back to "loving him and admire him back again." Every night, he kneels and prays. It doesn't matter if it was a good day or bad day.</p>
<p>He prays for our children, his job, for me, etc. He is a good man. I love him because he is a good man. And that translates in the way he takes care of us.</p>
<p>In 2008 when he lost his job and couldn't find anything here. He went to Afghanistan for two years as a contractor (electronic technician) to provide for his family. Only a good man risks his life to do something for his family.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Kimberlee:</strong><br />My favorite thing about my husband is that he makes everything I do his priority. I have always been a do-er from organizing activities for our kids' homeschool co-op to leading ministry activities to volunteering to running our local farmers market. I never have to ask my husband to help. It is always an automatic that if it is important to me, it is important to him! He has told me that his dream in life is to make mine come true and in 23 years he has never disappointed me or our kids! And he loves and respects me enough to help me realize when I need to take a step back. We have a great partnership and I cheerfully help him run his businesses because I am so grateful for my hard-working and hard-playing man!</p>
<p><strong>Linda:</strong><br />What I admire the most about my husband is the same now as when we first met--he is a man of good character. He does not back down when principles are involved. Because of his character I can trust him with my life and know that he will do his very best to protect me, and would even die for me if need be. I know that any decisions he makes will be well thought through and be in the best interest of our family. I know that I will always love him because my love is based on my admiration and respect for him, of who he is in his heart and mind. I am so proud and fortunate to be married to such a man.</p>
Staff
2012-07-13T20:15:00Z
I've Learned So Much from My Spouse
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ive-Learned-So-Much-from-My-Spouse/-448649053094170316.html
2012-07-12T20:11:00Z
2012-07-12T20:11:00Z
<p>My spouse's best quality is his internal compass. Not a North-South type of compass, but the kind that always points him to the right decision and keeps him on an eternally even keel. His ability to examine a situation, weigh all options and inputs, and come up with the correct response always leaves me in awe...and he can do all of this in an instant!</p>
<p>He challenges me to become a better person. He has already changed me for the better! Thanks to his influence, I've reduced the amount of drama I attach to situations, have become a better listener, and even begun to think critically about purchases. I'm still learning from him, and I make mistakes, but I'm glad he doesn't hold them against me. I can only hope that he learns as much from me as I do from him.</p>
<p>Thank you for your program! </p>
<p>Theresa</p>
Staff
2012-07-12T20:11:00Z
World's Greatest Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Worlds-Greatest-Dad/-395674624676158412.html
2012-07-12T20:05:00Z
2012-07-12T20:05:00Z
<p>Wow, its hard to think of what I admire most....marrying him was probably one of the best things (smartest choices) I have EVER made, but to narrow it down to what I admire most, would be what an incredible father he is.</p>
<p>I kind of thought he'd be a good dad when I married him and I fell more in love with him over the last 20 years of marriage. But in reality, he blows the doors off being a dad. He is so loving in everything he does with the children, he talks to them and teaches them about life and how they need to be principled, honest, good stalwart citizens. He always has been involved from the minute they were born, taking night duty during the infant days (they are 6 and 9 yrs now). And he does more of the actual childcare than I get to do because our careers have just gone different ways. So he did the stay-at-home parent role for both kids, and when he went back to work, calmly told the hiring manager (who was frothing at the mouth to hire my super salesman star hubby) that he needed to make sure the work schedule allowed him to pick his kids up from school every day. He spends quality and quantity time with the kids too, taking them on bike trips on a beautiful weekend afternoon or hiking on small day trips (they made up "trail names" for each other for the hikes).</p>
<p>I hope you get the picture of the kind, calm supportive husband he is and what stunning kind and caring children he has had a major hand in rearing.</p>
<p>Andre</p>
Staff
2012-07-12T20:05:00Z
Fun Times with My Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fun-Times-with-My-Mother/823412014067737137.html
2012-07-11T22:16:00Z
2012-07-11T22:16:00Z
<p>We as a family had a very stressful life when I was growing up. We were poor to the point of going long stints without electricity and water in our house. This financial stress made my dad mean and distant. My mother did everything she could to shield us from the reality of being poor. She made everything an adventure. We camped in the house or in tents when we couldn't afford a house.</p>
<p>My mother always had time for each of us to talk and to vent and to just be with her one on one. Our times together were always the same ritual and my favorite memories of my childhood. We would walk to the drugstore about 15 minutes away and get a small ice cream cup (the kind that came with the mini wooden spoon) and share it on the walk back. We talked about everything a girl needed to talk to her mom about and we laughed and joked. It wasn't expensive or time consuming, but it was so special to us both.</p>
<p>She had something like that she did with each of my brothers as well. It was those simple moments with Mom that made our childhood so special and really cemented our bonds with her. Young mothers today could really take a lesson from my mom's playbook. It's not how much money or time is spent, it is the quality of time with a woman who worked 3 jobs to keep us fed and still had time to be involved in our lives and make us each feel special.</p>
<p>Angela</p>
Staff
2012-07-11T22:16:00Z
Finding My Knight in Shining Armor by Waiting in the Car
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finding-My-Knight-in-Shining-Armor-by-Waiting-in-the-Car/-296562250349516095.html
2012-07-11T22:13:00Z
2012-07-11T22:13:00Z
<p>The first date with my [now] husband went something like this:</p>
<p>He picked me up at the door and I handed him an umbrella [it was drizzling outside]. He looked at me and said, "Is this for you?" I said, "Yes." He took it and held it for me while he walked me to the car. He opened the door for me to get in the car; [which I find most men do, however most men DO NOT open the door to let the woman OUT of the car. I think this is because most women do not wait for them to walk around to do so. I used to be this way because it felt too awkward for me to wait and I was too nervous so it was just easier to let myself out and not think about it. Well, not this time!] When we got to our date place, he parked and got out on his side and I waited. I just sat there... for what seemed like a pretty long time. I saw him pause to wonder why I was not getting out, and suddenly he came SPRINTING around to my side of the car and squeezed himself between the parked cars balancing on one foot to open the door to let me out... I giggled while he was a bit frantic. The rest of the night he pulled out my chair and waited for me to sit before he sat. He paid and was very gentlemanly. He also would randomly comment on the fact he had never had any woman wait or demand the door be opened for her when getting out of the car. This made him happy, and it must have meant that I was "the real deal" as he put it. We girls just have to give our men the OPPORTUNITY to be our heroes.</p>
<p>We dated for 1.5 years and have only been married for 4 months, but he STILL opens ALL doors for me, and if I forget and let myself out of the car he gets upset, and asks if something is wrong or if I am mad at him [aww...]. So NO, Dr. Laura, Chivalry is NOT dead. I know I am late to the game to get this email to you, but I wanted to tell you how chivalrous my hubby was on our very first date, and that he's STILL that way today... And that one simple little move of WAITING for him to figure it out and be THE MAN, put me in a league of my own in his mind and then his heart.</p>
<p>On an aside, he also cleans the kitchen after I cook, fixes my bike and makes sure it always has air in its tires, calls me every day to tell me he loves me, tells me how happy he is I am his wife every day, says grace when we sit down to our nightly meal EVERY DAY... and holds me when I am upset and cry about the messy stuff of life. He tells me, as he has been since our first date, that his late grandmother would have been proud to know me because I am woman with high standards, and I make him meals that she also used to make.</p>
<p>Cheers!</p>
<p>Jenny</p>
Staff
2012-07-11T22:13:00Z
Dog Gone Crowded
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dog-Gone-Crowded/-419419983857325790.html
2012-07-10T15:59:00Z
2012-07-10T15:59:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I listen to you every day on SiriusXM 107. My husband and I are team truck drivers, and we have been for over 20 years. I wanted to tell you about the throw-away dogs we have found.</p>
<p>First I must tell you, we have 5 dogs that have traveled with us for years. We didn't wake up one morning and say, "Let's get 5 dogs"... It started about 12 years ago, late June and the temperature in Arizona was very hot. There were some people moving and the U-Haul had quit running. Their little puppies were dying from the heat so they were giving the puppies away to save their lives. We rescued a puppy, and named him Baxter. He is a standard size Dachshund. A few months later we found a little dog in the ditch; he was shaking and hurt after someone had beaten him -- This is Oliver and he's part Jack Russell. So you see...we have a heart for the abused and helpless. We adopted two mini-dachshunds after their original owner, found she had cancer and was dying. Then another little girl doggy had mange and no one wanted her. We took her to the vet and doctored her for months. I prayed and cried, and now she is 9 years old and she is my special doggy. When I walk, she walks behind me, touching her nose to the back of my leg.</p>
<p>So on Feb 21, 2012, we found 3 tiny puppies thrown out into the cold Wal-Mart parking lot. It broke our hearts, these little pups didn't even have their eyes open, so they were rooting around in the cold gravel's searching for mommy. We called every animal rescue place we could find. No one wanted or no one could bottle feed these throw-away puppies. We bought canned milk and puppy bottles. As we traveled to California, every 2 hours I fed these poor pups. I am sorry to say, one of them didn't live. It broke our hearts. We had named him Gravel, because that was where we found him; he had rubbed his nose into the gravel until his nose was bloody. We still have the other 2 puppies. Yes, now we have 7 dogs traveling around with us. We travel about 4000 miles a week and sometimes it gets crazy in this traveling soup can, but we have 7 doggies that are special...not throw-aways. </p>
<p>Thanks for letting me share this... </p>
<p>Sharlett</p>
Staff
2012-07-10T15:59:00Z
Comparing Ourselves to Others
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Comparing-Ourselves-to-Others/-509570979083694092.html
2012-07-10T15:53:00Z
2012-07-10T15:53:00Z
<p>I have been a mom at home for 23 plus years and am well aware of what "things" our family had to give up so we could be a "Dad works and Mom stays home with the kids" family.</p>
<p>I just read your <a href="/b/Comparing-Yourself-to-Others/286795643084118959.html">blog about comparing ourselves to others</a> and I thought you would like to hear my response to my children when they would compare "things" our family had with what "things" our neighbors or their friend's families had. (Usually we had less and they had more or newer or the latest "thing".) My children would say we must be poor and the other family must be rich. I would just say, "It is not that their family has MORE money than ours, it is that their family has chosen to SPEND their money on that "thing". They now don't have that money. It is gone."</p>
<p>Needless to say, my 23 year old son is now a saver and I am very proud of him. He likes nice things, but is aware of what it costs to have those things. He is also not in debt. Good Kid!</p>
<p>Shelley</p>
Staff
2012-07-10T15:53:00Z
Baby Naps at Day Care But Not at Home?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Baby-Naps-at-Day-Care-But-Not-at-Home/-304586650438295718.html
2012-07-09T20:10:00Z
2012-07-09T20:10:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I just wanted to send you a quick email and a thank you. I was reading an article in Parent's Magazine about naptime for babies and how to fix problems with it. I ran into this "solution" for a baby who will nap at day care during the week, but not for his parents:</p>
<p>"Solution: Work together. 'Sometimes if babies don't see as much of Mom and Dad during the week, they are less inclined to nap well on the weekend as they don't want to miss any time together," says Marc Weissbluth, MD, author of "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." A compliment, but it's still frustrating. Talk with your day care provider to make sure your weekend nap routine echoes what works during the week, whether that's swaddling or reading a naptime story. Make sure Baby gets weekend naps at home at the same time he goes down at day care. As long as your little one is napping well during the week, a couple of off-kilter days shouldn't interfere with his good sleep habits."</p>
<p>This makes me so sad - they call it a "compliment" that the baby wants to spend time with his parents -- I call it sad that the baby is afraid to sleep for fear they will miss out on time with their parents. I want to thank you for pounding it into my head that the only acceptable care provider for my babies is ME.</p>
<p>Keep it up Dr. Laura - you're amazing.</p>
<p>Brittani</p>
Staff
2012-07-09T20:10:00Z
Mental Crossfit
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mental-Crossfit/-101826573266994812.html
2012-07-09T18:11:00Z
2012-07-09T18:11:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I wanted to tell you how much I enjoy your program. I first heard your program in 1996 and originally thought you were abrasive and rude. However, once I really began listening to what you were saying, I realized it was great advice in a way people needed to hear the truth (without political correctness or avoiding hurt feelings) that is sometimes hard to take. I have never called your program, but I have heard some great advice and taken it to become a better person.</p>
<p>The second reason why I am writing is that I heard that you started Crossfit. I started Crossfit over 4 ½ years ago (it was the first gym in North Carolina and no one knew what it was about). I was hooked after my first class and have never stopped enjoying it. The results are amazing - I have gained much better cardio endurance and strength. In addition, most of the people who attend the gym are great people dedicated to being better and helping others around them. I enjoyed Crossfit so much I got certified to teach a year ago and now teach part-time. It is not hard to see this type of workout is not for everyone and I tell new people you have to be dedicated and push yourself. Some people fit right in while others decide it is too hard and they find something easier. Hey, they will miss out on the rewards of hard work. When I heard you talking about Crossfit, I thought it would be a good fit. Hope it continues to go well for you.h`jugy`</p>
<p>Keep up the good work. I know your job is not an easy one, but a great deal of good comes from it. No doubt there are so many people like me who listen when they can and always seem to learn something new even after listening for over 15 years. You are like "mental Crossfit," pushing people to become better even when it is uncomfortable at the moment. However, the end result is a better person physically, mentally, and emotionally.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Alan</p>
Staff
2012-07-09T18:11:00Z
I Owe My Happiness, In Part, to My Father-In-Law
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Owe-My-Happiness,-In-Part,-to-My-Father-In-Law/831930993174383977.html
2012-06-29T19:18:00Z
2012-06-29T19:18:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>The first time my husband came to my apartment while we were dating, I noticed he'd put the seat down after using the bathroom. Chivalry at its finest! I knew I'd marry him then because, as we all know, it's the little things that count.</p>
<p>For Father's Day last year, I sent my father-in-law a thank-you card for the role he played in making my husband the man he is today. He's a team player, always helping around the house without having to be asked. He does laundry, dishes, brings me coffee in the morning, helps with cooking, takes out the trash, and that's not all. He opens doors for me, always keeps himself between me and traffic when escorting me, and drops me off at the door or runs to get the car in the parking lot if it's raining.</p>
<p>And every time he knows he's doing something good, he smiles playfully at me and says, "I know how this goes. That's what my dad always does for my mom."</p>
<p>Megan</p>
Staff
2012-06-29T19:18:00Z
A Different Act of Chivalry
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Different-Act-of-Chivalry/324593214856765660.html
2012-06-29T13:31:00Z
2012-06-29T13:31:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>We have been married for 29 years and I have never forgotten my love's acts of chivalry when I was pregnant with our second child. I was ordered to bed because of hyperemesis (can't stop throwing up). Night or day, my knight would rush ahead of me to the toilet to wipe it down before I got there! I was hyper-sensitive to odors and since I was already throwing up, he didn't want me to have to inhale any toilet smells.</p>
<p>While other wives brag about their men opening doors for them, I just smile and hold in my heart what my man did for me. It's hard to top!</p>
<p>Blessed with Will (my husband's name).</p>
Staff
2012-06-29T13:31:00Z
Men's Points of View on Chivalry's Death
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mens-Points-of-View-on-Chivalrys-Death/215421697026425642.html
2012-06-28T20:31:00Z
2012-06-28T20:31:00Z
<p><strong>James:</strong> <br />I am always amused by this, chivalry actually stems from the French word chivalia or horseman. As it turns out, chivalry was originally horsemanship, but as these first knights were rather beastly company, they were forced to undergo further training in "courtesy" or more pointedly, Manners befitting the Court. This is where we get the now recognized idea of chivalry (ref: Chivalry, Maurice Keen, a yale book). Chivalry isn't dead. It still resided in the hearts of those who will not accept less dignity than the meager offerings of true courtesy, of which Emily Post now becomes our lead champion.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Chris:</strong><br />I hope chivalry isn't dead, and certainly not at our house.</p>
<p>I like to open the car door for my wife and then, after she gets settled in her seat, I will arrange her seat belt for her, often stealing a kiss while snapping the buckle in place. While we both know she is a grown up lady and perfectly capable of doing this for herself, she doesn't walk around with a chip on her shoulder looking for situations to take offense to. Instead, we both view this as a gesture of kindness and affection, while showing that I care for her safekeeping.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Bob:</strong><br />Around 1972 I was talking to a Coast Guard Academy cadet who related the story that occurred while he attended a seminar at the U.S. Military Academy at West Point.</p>
<p>He held a door for a woman, who turned on him with full invective and said, apparently with a LOT of anger, "If you do that again, I'll KILL you!"</p>
<p>Remember - this was 1972!</p>
<p>In spite of that and what's going on today, as a Senior DeMolay I vow that chivalry is not dead but it is getting a lot of flak. I'll be chivalrous - not condescending, just courteous - as long as there is breath in my 61-year old still rockin' body.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Tom:</strong><br />After opening the car door for my wife recently, I could see one of the kind debutantes where we bank say," See, his OCD is so bad he can't even let his wife open a door for herself."</p>
<p><br /><strong>Richard:</strong><br />I was raised to be a gentleman. <br />Damn the torpedoes full speed ahead.</p>
<p>If the woman does not appreciate it, she may not be worth my time and energy.</p>
Staff
2012-06-28T20:31:00Z
'Brave' is Not Good Role Modeling
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Brave-is-Not-Good-Role-Modeling/-989076968991644302.html
2012-06-28T19:02:00Z
2012-06-28T19:02:00Z
<p>I took my daughter to see 'Brave' this past week. As beautiful as the animation was, I was horrified by the defiant feminist message and the way my daughter understood what the movie meant. (Read review: <a href="/b/Brave-Proves-Its-Anti-Princess-By-Being-Anti-Boy/394559796709012344.html" target="_blank">'Brave' Proves It's Anti-Princess By Being Anti-Boy</a>) In the movie the men were either really silly or really cruel. Girls are better than boys because they are smarter and better at fighting, and they don't need to get married. They also don't need to listen to a mother who is trying to help them become a woman. I agree with the message that people should marry for love, but I also think they should be taught that great sacrifices made in marriage bring about the best kind of love - not selfishly doing whatever you want and hurting whoever gets in your way.</p>
<p>The bottom line is that men and women are both wonderful and necessary to a child's growth and development, and they can strike a wonderful balance in family life. Our entire nation's stability rests on strong families. I married a man who isn't an idiot, nor is he cruel. He has a deep need to provide, protect, and guide, just like I have a need to nurture and to be loved passionately and with commitment. Women have biological clocks, but I believe that men have something like that as well. Men need to take care of women and children. They need to build, and protect, or they go nuts. If that need is taken from them or belittled they check out (video games anyone?).</p>
<p>The best thing we can do for the men we love and the little boys we raise is to help them fulfill their needs as well as our own. If that means acts of chivalry to help them respect and take care of women, so be it. Raising three sons and a daughter is amazing. They are all so different, but my boys are really boys. Kids aren't unisex, no matter how badly society wants them to be. My boys always want to fix things and protect things. It is ingrained. The more I give them responsibility and ask them to help me out, the happier they are. They still love to play video games, but more than anything, they love to take care of their mom and help out a damsel in distress. The best thing we can do for our men and boys is to ask them for help, not because we need it (I actually do a lot of the time) but because they need it to become men.</p>
<p>Women complain about men not understanding their needs and I think that when we began opening our own doors the men stopped being trained to look for needs to fill. It's time to ask for help and train them to watch out for doors to open and ways to help.</p>
<p>Fiona</p>
Staff
2012-06-28T19:02:00Z
No Good Works for Predators
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-Good-Works-for-Predators/-433907201408356242.html
2012-06-27T18:25:00Z
2012-06-27T18:25:00Z
<p>I just saw your Daily Dose newsletter for the topic, "Lessons Parents Should Learn from the Sandusky Trial" with an emphasis on protecting children. BRAVO!!!</p>
<p>I wish I could have talked to you about it because I am a survivor/victim of childhood sexual abuse. I was molested and eventually repeatedly raped, no other way to describe it, from the age of about four and a half until I was twelve. And after a lifetime of torturous reflection (I'm 62 now), PTSD and a dozen years in therapy with literally about 7 different therapists and psychiatrists I have a good deal to say about the subject.</p>
<p>Most of what's in the media is way too soft on the subject. A good example is all of the press about the so-called "good works" of that "person". What the prosecutors and others fail to understand is that even the acts he is supposedly lauded for - ALL of those good works - were nothing more than well thought out, deliberate and covert excuses to grant him access to an unlimited assortment of the bodies of little boys. ALL OF IT! So there were NO GOOD WORKS! The man was a seething pit of evil, preying on the weakest and most vulnerable people in our society: CHILDREN!</p>
<p>None of the punishments he might receive are adequate to such an evil, deliberate crime. It's not only my personal experiences lending me that opinion, which are many, but a more in depth understanding of that filthy crime and what happens to the victims that makes me feel that way. The long term effects are huge and can affect many generations.</p>
<p>Ergo, there is no punishment sufficient, no hell hot enough to punish that slithering, odious, repulsive excuse for a human being.</p>
<p>Respectfully,</p>
<p>Bruce</p>
Staff
2012-06-27T18:25:00Z
No Nonsense Approach Hooked Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-Nonsense-Approach-Hooked-Me/-756991753908954211.html
2012-06-27T18:03:00Z
2012-06-27T18:03:00Z
<p>Dear Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I am a 29 year old mother and wife. I discovered your show on SiriusXM radio last fall as I was driving from Alaska, through Canada, into the lower 48. For last minute reasons out of my control I had to make this trip alone with my 2 year old son and my black lab. I was flipping through channels trying to find something to keep my mind busy.</p>
<p>When I found your show, I heard you yelling at someone to just grow up. I thought you were being mean and I flipped to another channel. But ten minutes later, I turned your show back on. There was something about your no nonsense approach that I couldn't forget. I have been listening to your show ever since. Thanks for keeping me company (and keeping me strong!) on my trip!</p>
<p>Thank you also for reminding me everyday I have the power to be a wonderful mother and wife. Thank you for reminding me my husband is so important and my little boy needs ME more than any other person on earth. Thank you for reinforcing all of the values that I grew up with. I've often felt alone in my beliefs, but your show gives me the strength to keep on believing! It also gives me the strength to teach my little boy ways to successfully grow into a strong young man. And thanks, for giving me the strength to believe that I WILL be able to homeschool my little boy (and future children)</p>
<p>THANK YOU DR LAURA!</p>
<p>Love</p>
<p>Sherri</p>
Staff
2012-06-27T18:03:00Z
The Smell of People
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Smell-of-People/-844019562838062562.html
2012-06-26T20:38:00Z
2012-06-26T20:38:00Z
<p>Many memories are built around favorite smells. Some people recall smells in nature, smells of food, or even the smell of ditto-paper ink (remember that?). But many people's favorite smells are about other people...</p>
<p>Nicole:<br />Hands down, all time best smell EVER...my sweaty husband after a workout. Now you might go, EW! But that's because you've never smelled him!</p>
<p>There's something about the way a (clean, don't workout stale and nasty) man smells after intense physical exertion. Now maybe it's the pheromones talking, or maybe it has something to do with the fact he's walking around glistening and shirtless, but I love, Love, LOVE that smell.</p>
<p>It smells like my man being a MAN, and doing something physically hard to look good and be fit for his family.</p>
<p>Also, he smells the same way after sex. So maybe that's why!</p>
<p><br />Amy:<br />My favorite smell is honeysuckle. I never realized it was my favorite smell until my mother passed away 15 years ago. She always smelled so sweet, even when she had been working in our family's huge garden in the Louisiana summer humidity. A few years passed after she died, and I started to have to try and remember her voice and her smell. However, the honeysuckle in the spring bloomed one year and I remember tears coming to my eyes as I thought, "There she is. That's what she smelled like."</p>
<p><br />Cathie:<br />Since the day they were born, my favorite smell is the top of my children's head. Even though they are now 18 and 21, it still fills my heart when I smell their heads. Of course now they have to bend down because I can no longer reach the tops of their heads!!!</p>
<p><br />Kim:<br />This might sound weird, but my favorite smell is my husband. I never realized the importance of how our loved ones smell until I met him and fell in love with his personal scent. I can't even describe what it smells like -- it's subtle and it's just HIM. It's special to me, and I feel happy every time I catch a whiff of it. He feels the same way about my scent. He told me he once dated a woman whose smell he didn't like, and he knew he could never have a long-term relationship with her. I'm so fortunate to have found a man with whom I'm "scent-compatible"!</p>
<p><br />Lorrie:<br />My favorite smell would have to be my husband. I love the way he smells. Not his cologne, not his body wash or shampoo, I love the scent that is uniquely him. It calms me, helps me sleep at night, it makes me feel better when I'm sick and it turns me on. I love the smell and the man! When he's at work (he works 48 hour shifts) I wish I could bottle his scent. When he can't be there, I sleep on his pillows and in his shirts. He is my favorite person on the planet and I treasure him. So he is the best scent.</p>
<p>I tell him all the time how wonderful he smells, he will get a funny look on his face and tell me I'm a dork and then will wrap me up in his arms so I am surrounded by it.</p>
<p>I am so blessed to have him in my life.<br /> </p>
Staff
2012-06-26T20:38:00Z
Shacking-up With Boyfriends
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Shacking-up-With-Boyfriends/569362756046554698.html
2012-06-26T20:34:00Z
2012-06-26T20:34:00Z
<p>As I cooked everybody lunch, I heard a call with a woman who wanted to shack-up to test the waters with her boyfriend before marriage.</p>
<p>My marriage of 11 years ended violently in November 2011. He left me with a traumatic brain injury and strangle marks on my neck. I'm now a single mom of 3 sons. I had always been a housewife/full time mom, so I was stressed about getting a job. Luckily my aunt called me and said she needed someone to take care of my grandma with dementia, so we moved her in here with me. It's a true blessing. My house is no longer hostile.</p>
<p>My friends and my own dad advised me against this move fearing I would not have a social life. I told them my boys need a mother to focus on them, not a mother who goes out and gathers boyfriends and new husbands. (Plus I'm not a good picker. I knew darned well my ex was violent and I tried to leave several times but would come back. It's true when they say the beatings only get worse.)</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for reinforcing and making me feel proud of my decision to not date and to focus on my boys, Grandma, and my relationship with God.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>C.</p>
Staff
2012-06-26T20:34:00Z
How I Got the SENSE to Leave!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Got-the-SENSE-to-Leave!/-559990506604117624.html
2012-06-25T20:49:00Z
2012-06-25T20:49:00Z
<p>You asked for emails on HOW those of us in abusive relationships finally LEFT. So...here goes...</p>
<p>I was extremely naïve, having come from a home where Dad was the protector, defender and made numerous sacrifices for his family. I ASSUMED all men were that way. STUPID.</p>
<p>So, for SIX YEARS, I tolerated one disrespectful behavior after another, believing if I just loved him enough... he would change.</p>
<p>HE DIDN'T. But I did...</p>
<p>I went from happy and optimistic to miserable and angry...</p>
<p>Everyone was worried about me but no one had the guts to tell me THE TRUTH... I was PLAYING THE FOOL.</p>
<p>Then I had SENSE ENOUGH to call you and you set me straight -- read me the riot act and told me to LEAVE NOW... UNFORTUNATELY I didn't -- it took another 6 months but your words rang TRUE and so in the end, I followed your advice. </p>
<p>Slowly the cloud lifted and I can see a bright future once again.</p>
<p>I have learned a lot and NEXT TIME I will pick a man with character...I just wish I had called you earlier.</p>
<p>Thanks for all you do!!!</p>
<p>L.</p>
Staff
2012-06-25T20:49:00Z
Wish I Knew Then What I Know Now
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Wish-I-Knew-Then-What-I-Know-Now/263334649749712954.html
2012-06-25T20:47:00Z
2012-06-25T20:47:00Z
<p>He was my big love, the man I thought I wanted to marry, until I caught him in bed with another woman and uncovered years of lies...</p>
<p>Back then, I put up with the things that bothered me because I believed his words. It was only after being horribly betrayed that I truly understood the phrase: actions speak louder than words.</p>
<p>I wish someone back then would have taught me -- watch what he does, not what he says. If he treats you like crap in any way, he doesn't LOVE you and therefore doesn't deserve you or your love. Forget the words. Judge always, and only, on behavior, to know a person's TRUE INTENT.</p>
<p>For me, once I saw what he was capable of I "got it". I knew in my heart I wouldn't stand for that, and he wasn't what I desired to begin with...</p>
<p>L.</p>
Staff
2012-06-25T20:47:00Z
The Importance of C.S.
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-of-C.S./-190612387932001992.html
2012-06-22T18:34:00Z
2012-06-22T18:34:00Z
<p>As a person who has been in customer service my entire working life, I have honed the trade. I excel in customer service relations, so when I see employees and their bad attitudes, it rubs me raw.</p>
<p>Recently I had to close the doors of my vitamin store due to many things including the poor economy and Internet competition driving down the cost. It was a specialty store that had superb knowledge and excellent customer service. So when we were forced to close, I needed to find another store to send my customers. I grew to love them and felt as close to them as my family. I discovered a small franchise, met with the owner and decided I liked them enough to send my customers there. Because quite a few customers have stayed in touch with me, I recently got a call from one stating his displeasure with the service he received at this new store. I got on the phone to the owner and explained to him how important it is for his manager to understand that every customer is worth something, whether it is business or just simply starting a relationship with a human being, it's all equally important.</p>
<p>So, I guess my point is that it is unacceptable to be receiving poor treatment and you just can't let it slide. You must get the name of the employee, and then call the supervisor. So many times after I let an employee go, I received complaints about them and it just made me wonder why they didn't let me know sooner.</p>
<p>As far as automated, I just find it best to press 0 for the operator.</p>
<p>Juiette</p>
Staff
2012-06-22T18:34:00Z
Why Customer Service is Poor
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Customer-Service-is-Poor/-128435698593286632.html
2012-06-22T18:31:00Z
2012-06-22T18:31:00Z
<p>Ahhh yes customer service! The lack of customer service is twofold. First, businesses have grown cold only looking at the bottom dollar so they automate or hire "cute young kids" to deal with issues. They get paid bottom dollar and we get bottom of the barrel service at best! Second, recently I worked in marketing/customer service and I was told by my boss he could not teach what I have. That puzzled me. So he explained he could not teach integrity, compassion and a concern for others. Well, yippy kai yea, and whoop whoop! I was doing a great job. Yup, and it was only a temp job. He hired me for the second time because he needed a "boost" in his business!? I believe he wouldn't need that boost if he had customer service. People would be waiting in line for his services. We live in a selfish world and that is why we don't get great customer service.</p>
<p>I learned very early from my father what he expected and saw how "picky" he was and that coupled with a deep concern for humanity makes me who I am and why I have outstanding customer service skills.</p>
<p>I hope all this makes sense. In a nutshell, no compassion, no customer service skills. If you're selfish, no customer service skills. After all don't we hear, "How can I help you?"</p>
<p>Great topic, Dr Laura. Take care and keep on keeping on!!!</p>
<p>E.</p>
Staff
2012-06-22T18:31:00Z
Not Accepting He's Worthy of Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Not-Accepting-Hes-Worthy-of-Love/-178532221436233947.html
2012-06-21T22:28:00Z
2012-06-21T22:28:00Z
<p>I am "Danny's" father. <a href="/pg/jsp/charts/audioMaster.jsp?dispid=306&pid=89370">Danny is the married man with two sons who called you</a> about his wife's reaction to his text and telephone interactions with an ex-girlfriend, part of a pattern of indiscretions as you called them which have occurred during six years of his seven year marriage.</p>
<p>You absolutely nailed it. Dan cannot not accept that he is worthy of love, at least from an adult woman. Danny is an adopted mixed racial child whose biological mother gave him up immediately post partum. My wife and I were the adoptive parents. My wife had a alcohol problem which led her to be distant and less than nurturing to both her sons. I was busy, irascible, and not generally supportive as a parent. Danny's adoptive mother died when he was 14. I remarried and his stepmother was similarly not nurturing. Little positive mirroring or support typified his childhood. It's a miracle of grace that he didn't turn out borderline; he is defensive and very self-oriented.</p>
<p>Danny is now 47, a firefighter and helicopter paramedic. He is apparently superb at his jobs: three years ago he was firefighter of the year based on his lifesaving endeavors with other firefighters. He is highly regarded professionally: knows he is respected and cared for and is able to accept this in the professional setting. He knows his kids love him and thus his parenting is excellent, warm, attentive and consistent: he's a far better parent than his parents were.</p>
<p>I am, as you, a clinician, having worked at a university for many years as clinical director of a counseling center and in the medical school training residents.</p>
<p>I can't thank you enough for talking with Dan and telling him what he needs to hear: listening to the transcript and knowing well his intonations; I can tell he heard you very well indeed.</p>
<p>Blessings to you,</p>
<p>R.</p>
Staff
2012-06-21T22:28:00Z
A Former Snotty Wife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Former-Snotty-Wife/-863092719983269670.html
2012-06-21T22:17:00Z
2012-06-21T22:17:00Z
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura. I have been listening to you for about a year. My dilemma was solved because you continued to talk about not sweating the small stuff.</p>
<p>I am married to a great man. There was one thing that continued to bother me, though. We have well water and use a water purifier jug to pour purified water into our coffee pots for coffee each morning (he is decaf and I am leaded). About once a week he would forget to add water back into the jug after he makes coffee because he is rushing to work. I couldn't understand why he couldn't take 2 minutes to take care of this and would nag him about it. It takes the system almost 10 minutes to finish purifying. He didn't understand why it was such a big deal.</p>
<p>Once I started listening to your program, I realized I could only change MY perspective so I started to change. I got up each morning fully intending to fill the water pitcher for myself. I was then grateful when it was done for me most of the time. On the times he didn't, I no longer was mad as I planned on doing it myself anyway. I know this sounds small, but trust me, it really makes a difference. He no longer gets blindsided when he gets home from work with a snotty wife. It must have been awful for him.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura.</p>
<p>Jill</p>
Staff
2012-06-21T22:17:00Z
What My Teddy Bear Meant to Me as a Kid
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-My-Teddy-Bear-Meant-to-Me-as-a-Kid/513894704826802576.html
2012-06-20T19:48:00Z
2012-06-20T19:48:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I was raised to believe a woman's value was based on her education, work achievements, and what she contributed to the world. While acting on these beliefs, I always felt like there was something more. That's when I found you! You rocked my world!</p>
<p>I didn't get it at first. Why wouldn't you live with someone before marriage? Aren't stay-at-home moms just lazy slobs who take advantage of their husbands? So many questions, but I kept listening and then finally it made sense. I am now the proud mama of a 4-month-old boy and I have no intention of going back to work. My husband is the most amazing man I've ever met for so many reasons, but a big one is how hard he works so I can be there for our family!</p>
<p>Dr. Laura, thank you!</p>
<p>I was watching my little one play with his lion and I started to think about the teddy bear I carried everywhere as a kid. I took it with me because my mom had given it to me and it reminded me of her when she wasn't there. My son will never feel the sadness and the longing I felt when I was at day care all those long hours. All I wanted was my mom. Babies need their mommies! They need to be held, loved, sang to, played with... And it needs to be with Mommy! I couldn't believe I remembered this! The women who feel guilty when they abandon their children at day care should! It's heartbreaking!</p>
<p>Thank you for saying what so many when need to hear! You are a breath of fresh air!</p>
<p>Have a wonderful day!</p>
<p>Nikki</p>
Staff
2012-06-20T19:48:00Z
A Weighty Situation in My Family
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Weighty-Situation-in-My-Family/521283198609101913.html
2012-06-20T19:42:00Z
2012-06-20T19:42:00Z
<p>I have a young cousin roughly the same age as my daughter. My daughter is 22 and my cousin is 20. All her life, my aunt indulged my cousin with every kind of junk food and unhealthy "treat" she requested. On the other hand, with my daughter, we insisted on a physical activity (she chose figure skating and horseback riding). We allowed some treats in moderation. We never stressed weight but did stress healthy food choices.</p>
<p>My daughter is now on the West Coast in a physics PhD program, happy, independent, and very healthy. My cousin on the other hand now weighs almost 300 lbs., lives with my aunt. has no independent life and still calls her mother "Mommy".</p>
<p>I never thought about what my aunt was doing to my cousin as child abuse. I do now. Deliberately overfeeding a child junk repeatedly should be a red-flag for Children and Youth services.</p>
<p>R.</p>
Staff
2012-06-20T19:42:00Z
Getting Our Son Away from Video Games
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Getting-Our-Son-Away-from-Video-Games/-937682882503439770.html
2012-06-19T21:58:00Z
2012-06-19T21:58:00Z
<p>I have a 25 year old son who is a good kid - very conscientious and good-hearted, but distracted by video games. My wife and I worked on the issue during his teenage years to no avail. We expressly did not want to use shame in parenting him. Then we formulated a long-term plan to bring him to reality.</p>
<p>At the beginning of his last year of a 4 year undergraduate degree, we moved him out of our house. He was not happy at first; he had to pay his monthly expenses with his part-time job and had little money left for fun. However, he still had friends over often at his apartment and still spent too much time playing video games.</p>
<p>After graduation, he announced he wanted to go to law school. I think that, after a year of paying for most of his expenses, it had finally hit home; he was suddenly determined to make something of himself.</p>
<p>There had developed a new tension between us; he felt he had to prove something to me, his father. The tension was there between him and his mother, but it was less. I can't really explain this, but it has been really effective.</p>
<p>He moved 2000 miles away from us to a big city and has paid for his law school with loans and part-time work. He ran up sizable school loan debts. He just graduated and is studying for his bar exam. He already has a job with a law firm; others in his class are still looking.</p>
<p>We are hoping and cheering and loving him from 2000 miles away. But the tension is still there, and it still works to help him keep his resolve.</p>
<p>Tim</p>
<p>P.S. He still plays video games across the Internet with his friends to help relax. I assume he will never want to give it up completely.</p>
Staff
2012-06-19T21:58:00Z
Today's Kids Going to College
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Todays-Kids-Going-to-College/751588695787536024.html
2012-06-19T21:56:00Z
2012-06-19T21:56:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I think the financial burden and the fact that today's youth feel like they are entitled, not only entitled to go to college, BUT TO GO AWAY TO COLLEGE.</p>
<p>They don't care or realize the 54% of the cost of college is for room and board.</p>
<p>We live in Florida. Luckily our state has a pre-paid education plan. When each of our 3 kids entered 1st grade we bought a pre-paid plan, an investment of about $6000 each. Florida also has a Bright Futures Scholarship program funded by the state lottery; each of our kids had good enough grades to qualify for 75% of their tuition to be paid through this program.</p>
<p>We live in South Florida and have a number of pubic universities close by. I made a deal with each of our kids when they were in high school, we would pay for their tuition, books, labs etc. at a local school. If they wanted to go away to college they were responsible for room and board. I was not going to wind up $90,000 in debt so each of them could go away and party for 4 years.</p>
<p>Our oldest son earned his bachelors degree in 3 1/2 years and was able to save enough money while working to put a 10% down payment on a house the same week he graduated; he was 21 years old when he bought his first house.</p>
<p>It looks like in about 2 years my wife and I will have a business and marketing major, a nurse, and a geologist - all graduated without anyone owing money simply because we planned ahead and they lived at home while attending college.</p>
<p>Also, our son had the confidence in our relationship to buy a house on our street, three blocks away, and know he did not have to worry about Mommy and Daddy interfering in his life and independence.</p>
<p>Tom</p>
Staff
2012-06-19T21:56:00Z
Teaching Respect
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teaching-Respect/-362981303563249136.html
2012-06-18T19:55:00Z
2012-06-18T19:55:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Nick Peters is a real estate person in our area. Once in a while he sends out news letters with interesting tidbits and a sprinkling of personal info. This column was in the most recent letter:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">A few days ago my 83 year-old Dad joined me at my oldest son's high school "passing league" football tournament. His knees are bad and he can barely walk a few blocks (I am talking about my Dad, not my son!!) so I wondered how he'd do. We brought his walker to help him cover more ground with less pain.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">At this tournament there were dozens of teams and literally hundreds of boys constantly warming up, running, playing catch, running patterns, you name it. You couldn't walk more than 5 feet without having to go around a boy or step over a football. Not an ideal place for Dad to try and get around easily.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Still, it was a great day. By late afternoon, although the tourney was not over, AJ had played his final game and it was time for our long trudge back to the car.<br />Of course, any "long trudge" is shorter if you decide to NOT go around the crowd. Before I knew it, Dad was already a good 50 yards away. He was blazing a slow but deliberate path straight for the exit and RIGHT through a massive crowd of football players. It was like watching someone trying to walk across the 405 freeway and not get hit! Oy!!</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">My first instinct was to run forward and re-direct Dad out of harm's way. Instead, I took a deep breath and just stood back and admired what he was doing ... he was forging ahead through thick and thin - like he has done his whole life... With his Korean Veteran cap on, he (with his walker) ambled through one school of boys like a cruise missile in slow motion. There wasn't much anyone could do about my dad's plan! At a pace of 1 mile/hour he wasn't going to be out of their way anytime soon! The kids looked a bit bewildered at my Dad slicing through their territory; they couldn't practice their running routes for fear of colliding into the Old Man.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Surprisingly, the coaches didn't mind this unusual interruption. In fact, the head coach motioned to the boys to make room for the Old Man. He barked at some of the slower moving boys to "Move back 5 yards, now!" To me, that showed a clear sense of respect and honor that my Dad's labored efforts took precedence over their practice.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">The coach seemed determined to make sure his players respectfully and quickly moved back to give the aging Veteran the right of way. Dad was tired, hot, and pushing hard to make it to the car before his knees gave out. I really don't think he noticed anything. But I did. The coach did. And more importantly, some of those kids did, too.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">A year from now I won't remember if AJ's team won or lost the tourney, but I will remember the sight of my Dad, like an old tug boat, puttering through the sea of young men, who gave him the space and respect he deserved.</p>
<p>Sent in by Julie</p>
Staff
2012-06-18T19:55:00Z
Stupid Parents Not Doing the Right Thing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stupid-Parents-Not-Doing-the-Right-Thing/-539685640157924368.html
2012-06-18T19:52:00Z
2012-06-18T19:52:00Z
<p>I'm a proud mom and wife of a stay-at-home dad. However, I work part-time to allow myself more time with my kids. My son goes to a special needs school. I've driven to pick up my son several times only to see a woman parking in the handicapped spot time and time again. Finally, when I was certain there was no need for HER to be parking there, I walked over and explained to her that especially since this was a special needs school with handicapped children her parking there was rude, inconsiderate and a very bad example for her son. She mumbled back something to me that I couldn't hear, but I calmly stepped back and told her "I'm not certain what you said, but there's no excuse for sheer laziness. Do the right thing."</p>
<p>I found it funny that the look of shock on her face didn't show embarrassment, but a look that she was a victim of me putting her in her place! I just couldn't stand there and watch her be selfish and inconsiderate any longer.</p>
<p>Thank you for all that you do and reminding us to do the right thing no matter what!</p>
<p>Shannon</p>
Staff
2012-06-18T19:52:00Z
Dad Coached with Integrity and Sportsmanship
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dad-Coached-with-Integrity-and-Sportsmanship/-189752054200628460.html
2012-06-15T20:48:00Z
2012-06-15T20:48:00Z
<p>Hi Dr Laura!</p>
<p>First let me say my family and I LOVE you! Well, they have no choice because when my kids were growing up and I was driving them to dance and basketball after school I was tuned in to 640AM on our car radio! THOSE WERE THE GOOD OLE DAYS! To this day, my husband and several friends often refer to me as Dr Laurie...some poke fun, but I ALWAYS take it as a compliment when we are discussing "life" and sorts!</p>
<p>I grew up as the daughter of a high school basketball coach back when high school sports were coached with integrity and sportsmanship more than they are today. My dad was a great coach who was an encourager and coached with class. He was highly influenced by the great late Coach John Wooden...need I say more!</p>
<p>When I was in high school I was one of the scorekeepers for my dad's varsity basketball team. One game was highly intense and the opposing team did not like or agree with the officiating and started throwing pennies onto the basketball court. It was a close game and emotions in the stands were on the edge of going crazy. The tension was thick to say the least. While the other coach was getting heated and out of control, my dad stayed calm. The announcer of the game was worried and I could sense it on his face. He told me I should be so proud of my dad....I remember watching my dad and how in control he was. And even though I'm sure he was angry on the inside, he never once yelled at the referees or any of the players. As a teenager, I just remember thinking how strong my dad seemed to me at that moment. He didn't react to emotions and stayed calm as a leader. He was an example to his young players and to the fans in the stands. To this day when I am in compromising situations I often think of my dad and his strength to play fair and honest and always show respect even when as Dr Laura says "you don't FEEL like it".</p>
<p>Happy Father's Day, Dr Laura and thank you for your influence on all of us mothers and especially fathers! We appreciate all you do for the family!</p>
<p>Warmly,</p>
<p>Laurie</p>
Staff
2012-06-15T20:48:00Z
Stopping Stupid Parents
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stopping-Stupid-Parents/938006626538900753.html
2012-06-15T20:45:00Z
2012-06-15T20:45:00Z
<p>I just listened to your <a href="/pg/jsp/charts/audioMaster.jsp?dispid=306&pid=89235">call of the day from Abigail</a>, regarding her encounter with a "stupid parent" who was allowing her child to ride dangerously on a shopping cart.</p>
<p>I had my own encounter with a "stupid parent" a few weeks ago in a restaurant my family frequents. I am my 4 kids' mom, and I pride myself in the fact my children are polite and angelic in public, as it was always expected by my own parents.</p>
<p>When we came into the restaurant to eat, there was a little boy, no more than 2 years old, who was wandering around the restaurant. Occasionally, an older boy (probably 10 yrs old) would come and retrieve him, taking him back to the back area of the restaurant where his family was sitting, only to have him return AGAIN a few moments later. In between the older sibling retrieving the toddler, the mother would come get him, and then loudly chastise the 10 year old for "not watching his little brother better."</p>
<p>The last straw for me was when I overheard a woman asking the hostess if she knew who the small boy belonged to as he was trying to get out the front door. I immediately jumped up from my own family's meal, walked to the back area of the restaurant, and cupped my hands to my mouth and said, "Is someone missing a toddler? You might want to come get him before he heads to the parking lot!"</p>
<p>The stupid mom jumped up out of her seat, berated her husband about having to go get their child, and headed to the front. On my way back to my table, she had the nerve to ask ME what kind of a mother I was to allow HER toddler to almost wander out into a parking lot! I was speechless.</p>
<p>I was so happy to hear you tell Abigail she did the right thing by speaking up and trying to protect that child. I knew I was doing the right thing by speaking up, but was really sickened that she tried to blame her own failure to mother and protect that little boy on ME.</p>
<p>Thank you for always encouraging and demanding that people do the right thing!</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Julie</p>
Staff
2012-06-15T20:45:00Z
Dear Dad, You're the Best
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dear-Dad,-Youre-the-Best/-645936084882609751.html
2012-06-14T19:46:00Z
2012-06-14T19:46:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I wanted to share with you a post I wrote recently - a letter to my husband as if from our five, amazing children. I had recently commented to him that our young children don't know how good they have it to which my husband replied, "They shouldn't have to know any better at this age. They will figure it out when they are older." and he's right.<br /><em><br /></em>(You can see the photos I included in the post <a href="http://www.untrainedhousewife.com/dear-dad-youre-the-best" target="_blank">here</a>)<br /><br /><br /><em>Dear Dad,</em></p>
<p><em>I know sometimes you think I don't notice all you do for us, but I do. I just might not realize how special these things are until I'm older. I still think all kids have it as good as I do.</em></p>
<p><em>But I notice:</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>When you put yourself in harm's way to protect us.</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>When you lift us instead of weights.</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>When you spend your afternoon off driving us in the go cart.</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>How you let us "help" you so that home projects take you so much longer.</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>How you work so hard and then hang out with us in the living room and let us sit in your lap until we both crash.</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>When you put us first...even in the little things.</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>The way you patiently teach us new skills.</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>When you aren't too proud to get on the floor and play with us.</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>How you love our Mommy and help her be home to take care of us.</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>The fun we have as a family.</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>How much you love the Lord and try to live right.</em></p>
<p><br /><em>In short, you are the best Dad we could ask for. Even if we don't quite realize it yet.</em></p>
<p><br />Thank you, Dr. Laura, for all you do encouraging men to be men, and mothers to be mothers.</p>
<p>Angela</p>
Staff
2012-06-14T19:46:00Z
It's About My Daughter - Not Me!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-About-My-Daughter---Not-Me!/-773720918793177840.html
2012-06-14T18:00:00Z
2012-06-14T18:00:00Z
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>I am a 44-year-old divorced mom with a lovely 11-year-old daughter. I have been listening to you for about a year. After hearing you talk about single parents dating, and how that is not good for the children, I have decided not to date until my daughter is 18.</p>
<p>I feel so good about this decision; I finally feel like I have clarity on the issue. I originally thought I would date when my daughter was with her father, but then I realized even though she is not with me, it will affect her in a negative way. Dating would take up my time emotionally and mentally; it would be another area of my life I would need to manage. Dating would take away my focus from raising my daughter. I feel like I am loving my daughter to the fullest capacity by not dating, and I do not feel deprived at all. I feel excited to know the next seven years are about my daughter not me.</p>
<p>I have to admit, I used to hear you talk about this topic and I didn't agree with you. But one day something clicked inside me and I finally saw the light. I know my daughter is already going through a difficult time with the divorce, and the last thing she needs is a parent preoccupied with dating. She deserves my full attention and love; it is my responsibility as her mother to be there for her in every way possible. Thank you Dr. Laura for being blunt and straightforward with the callers; listening to you enabled me to make this decision. I have never felt such complete clarity and excitement about raising my daughter.</p>
<p>Traci</p>
Staff
2012-06-14T18:00:00Z
Surfing with Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Surfing-with-Dad/-176963232833081821.html
2012-06-13T22:13:00Z
2012-06-13T22:13:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I think you will enjoy these videos of a 2 1/2 yr old boy surfing with his dad and mom. The surfboard mounted camera captures the pure joy on the boy's face as he stands up on the surfboard (while grabbing onto Dad's head!). The portion of the video that depicts the ride to the beach (where the boy talks about coffee, donuts, and surfing) is also adorable).</p>
<p><a href="http://northshorehawaii.wordpress.com/some-cool-videos/">http://northshorehawaii.wordpress.com/some-cool-videos/</a></p>
<p>Cheers! And thank your for everything you do.</p>
<p>Tom</p>
Staff
2012-06-13T22:13:00Z
Gender-Opposite Friends
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Gender-Opposite-Friends/-631701937986449432.html
2012-06-13T22:12:00Z
2012-06-13T22:12:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My best friend of 25 years -- since college -- is a guy. He probably remembers the names of more skeletons in my closet than I do.</p>
<p>In a parallel universe, my best friend and I are probably married with a dozen kids. In this one, we had common interests, a shared sense of humor...but no physical chemistry. He's like the brother I never had. He's a never-married adoptive dad three times over. He adopted two boys at age 10, raised them to adulthood, and decided he had more to offer, so he started all over again with a 13 year old. He skipped diapers and went straight to rollerblades -- theirs is a rollicking house full of dudes who are family by choice.</p>
<p>My husband of nearly a decade is a secure, confident guy who isn't threatened in the least by our sibling-like relationship, and didn't think it was at all strange I had a guy standing where most brides have a maid of honor. My best friend lives several states away, and sometimes when he's in our area, my husband joins us when we catch up over lunch or dinner. If my husband's schedule doesn't permit, he tells me to have fun and say, "Hi." My husband likes my best friend, but I met my husband many years after college, so the two of them never had the chance to get to know each other well.</p>
<p>Several months ago my best friend and I spent the day with his youngest son -- whom I hadn't yet met -- in our old college town. My husband elected to pursue his own hobbies that day, and wished us a good time.</p>
<p>My buddy and I would never have made a go of it as a couple, but I wouldn't have lasted a week with an insecure husband who felt jealous of my relationship with him. I'm blessed to have both of them in my life...</p>
<p>Keep up the good fight,</p>
<p>M.</p>
Staff
2012-06-13T22:12:00Z
More Like a Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/More-Like-a-Dad/900783649639499652.html
2012-06-12T21:00:00Z
2012-06-12T21:00:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I just wanted to share this song/video with you. My cousin's husband co-wrote this with a friend. It is a lovely way to celebrate dads with Father's Day approaching.</p>
<p>I love the opening quote of the video: "My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. My mother would come out and say 'You're tearing up the grass.' 'We are not raising grass,' Dad would reply, 'We're raising boys.'"<br /><br />Take a listen. I know you will love the meaning behind the words. Both of these guys are real men… True dads. True husbands.<br /><br />Watch the video: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzesVP2AL8A" target="_blank">More Like A Dad - Allen Krehbiel</a></p>
<p>Their album is called "Heart of a Dad" and is available on iTunes. But you can hear the songs free on YouTube. I listen to you everyday and know you will love the message in these songs.</p>
<p>Keep fighting the fight. You help so many more people than ever call your show.</p>
<p>Jennifer</p>
Staff
2012-06-12T21:00:00Z
Paid with Love and Support
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Paid-with-Love-and-Support/-743444230238298094.html
2012-06-12T20:32:00Z
2012-06-12T20:32:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>As I sit quietly today feeling unvalued by the boss I have just given my notice to after 4 years of dedicated hard work - not nearly worth the paycheck, lost time with my children or the stresses brought on by my position - I choose to reflect on the future instead and the words my husband continues to issue to me: "Please stay at home and raise our family. We value you and we will pay you with love and support."</p>
<p>After listening to you instill wisdom into the souls of deserving moms for many years, I finally had enough courage to follow your advice and my dreams. I wait in anticipation for the transition that soon will take place: the struggle of paying bills, fighting children, mountains of laundry and of course being able to be my husband's girlfriend at any point of the day... No tired wife here! My courage will now allow my children to benefit from my nurturing and teachings and my husband will now be able to focus on providing for our family with his career and dreams.<br /> <br />So my gratitude goes out to you and my husband today and I will continue to count my blessings every second of each day that is given to me and my beautiful family.</p>
<p>All the best,</p>
<p>A proud mom & wife</p>
Staff
2012-06-12T20:32:00Z
Racing to Get Ahead in Education
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Racing-to-Get-Ahead-in-Education/-362999382860320898.html
2012-06-11T20:15:00Z
2012-06-11T20:15:00Z
<p>I am the parent of two daughters; one will graduate high school this week, and is planning to attend a community college in the fall. The other graduated last June from UC San Diego and just completed her first year at UCLA School of Medicine. I attended a CSU, graduating in the mid-80s.</p>
<p>I believe college is more difficult today than it was when I attended in the 1980s. I believe that the scarce resources and competitive entrance requirements have caused young students to take on considerably more challenging high school courses, often simultaneously attending the local community college, and taking Advanced Placement courses in high school. When my husband and I graduated high school, we had never heard of AP courses.</p>
<p>I think this race to get ahead is hurting our young people. Spending all of their time in an effort to try to make the grade and build their resumes of extracurricular activities, does not allow them time to explore and cultivate their own innate interests and talents.</p>
<p>I think the "college no matter what" attitude of parents is hurting some young people who might have great drive and inspiration if allowed to follow their own passions. The academic setting is not the only environment to grow the great leaders and innovators of tomorrow and some of those future innovators may lose their passion or get lost in the crowd because of institutionalized learning.</p>
<p>My husband and I have long thought education is wasted on youth. When we were in college, we were just there to get our tickets punched, get the degree and get on with our "real lives". We now look back and yearn to have the time to immerse ourselves in learning, wanting to go back and take that geology class which now seems so interesting, holding the secrets of our universe, but at the time it was just one more chore hanging over our heads.</p>
<p>I hope parents will support their children in finding a passion and a talent and working hard to make the most of that talent. If and when the time is right, then go to college when they are ready.</p>
<p>Cheryl</p>
Staff
2012-06-11T20:15:00Z
Keeping Steam and Sizzle in the Bedroom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Keeping-Steam-and-Sizzle-in-the-Bedroom/-35723443506189295.html
2012-06-08T22:04:00Z
2012-06-08T22:04:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>My husband is easy. He's pretty much in the mood all the time. Whenever, wherever... we have sex at least once a day, sometimes two or three (and we're in our 40's). But because women are different, I found that it's good to always stay "prepared"... One way is, I NEVER go to bed with clothes on. The second is that I have a few things I rotate inside of my head about my husband throughout the day. Things I love about him, things that attracted me to him in the first place. I focus fully on one or two things and before I know it, I'm ready to go. And yes, even with a headache.</p>
<p>My mother taught me to never say no to my husband, but I realize that there is a difference between just being a willing participant and being right there in the moment with him. It's my very favorite part of the life we share, and I think it's his, too.</p>
<p>Julie</p>
Staff
2012-06-08T22:04:00Z
How We've Kept 'Active' Through the Years
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Weve-Kept-Active-Through-the-Years/-506145667933959261.html
2012-06-08T21:59:00Z
2012-06-08T21:59:00Z
<p>Dr Laura,</p>
<p>My "boyfriend" and I have been married for 31 years now. For the first 20 years, he was in the Navy and I always made his homecoming something very "special" in the bedroom so we could reconnect intimately. With 3 children this was delayed until the time was right, but we were always filled with anticipation for the magic moment we knew was coming, as I had spent the months of separation hinting at what would be in store later that first night. And there was always a theme.</p>
<p>In the 12 years since his retirement, we have had to find new ways/games to spice up the intimacy, but we don't find it hard to do when we put in the effort and we know how important it is to do so.</p>
<p>We did not have good examples. His parents divorced after 20 years of marriage and mine were married for 50+ years in a very cold, dispassionate marriage where they didn't even share a bedroom for the last 30 years!</p>
<p>Our two adult daughters have confided in me how "neat" it is their Dad and I still have an active sex life even at our age and stage of life. They are both married and say we are a good example for what they want in their marriages. We have had our share of times when we have allowed life to interfere with our intimacy, but it seems that is when I happen to turn on your show and you remind me to once again become my husband's girlfriend, cuddle up with him, touch him and reconnect once again.</p>
<p>Thanks, Dr Laura!<br /> <br />Ginny</p>
Staff
2012-06-08T21:59:00Z
No One Should Tell a Woman to Forgive her Assaulter
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-One-Should-Tell-a-Woman-to-Forgive-her-Assaulter/-153124364955280491.html
2012-06-07T21:10:00Z
2012-06-07T21:10:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>This letter is written to all the girls whose father's hands were not pure. I have thought about writing to you about this subject for a long time. Today, I have come up with the words.<br /> <br />When I was about 9, until I was 14, my father indulged himself by touching me. He never touched me in the pubic area, thank God, but what he did do remains with me still the same. That's the thing I write about: the remaining. It's not something you ever really can forget. You can tell yourself, "I am letting go," so that intellectually you will be alright. But once in a while, out of nothing connected to it, there it is again, popping up like billboards in the sky in front of you. Moving pictures moments, without sound.</p>
<p>I was lucky though in an unusual way. The last time my father ever touched me he said to me, "Don't ever tell your mother I touch you in this way." "Why?" I asked him with total innocence. He said, "It would kill her." I replied to that with, "Then you should stop it". And he did! He never touched me again. I say I was lucky because this instilled in me a sense of power. Yet, there is one more thing.</p>
<p>My father, by his actions, brought forth early sexuality in me. I still feel guilty because I enjoyed the feeling I got when he did what he did. That was very difficult to say. I have never said that to one person. I never tempted my father in any way. I was young, and I was so innocent, I honestly did not think it was wrong. So I would like to forgive myself for that, and I would like to forgive my father. But here is the problem. Forgiveness doesn't erase the events. It simply doesn't work. And the fact is my father was a grown man, he should have known better. Shame on him! There will be no forgiveness. No one should tell any woman she has to forgive her assaulter. I will try to forgive myself some day. I was a child, 14 years old. Let's see, today I am 56....... any day now.</p>
<p>What women have to know is how not to dwell on the memories when they pop up. My experience is that it is in the dwelling where the danger lies. That is where you can lose yourself and become a victim. The memory has to become something that you persistently dismiss from your brain before it becomes a feeling. It's the feelings that connect us to the events. So, before the memories reach my heart, I let the billboards take wings, turn my head, and walk away, and I am 'OK'. I believe feelings are stored in the heart, so I tuck them into the lowest, smallest, quietest place in mine. That way it only emerges when I am in a reflective mood, like the one I am in now. That is when I become aware there was a reason I couldn't keep 3 marriages together. Why I couldn't really ever trust a man with my whole self. Then my life makes sense and I can let it all rest.</p>
<p>Thank you for loving children, and by extension the child in me.</p>
<p>K.</p>
Staff
2012-06-07T21:10:00Z
Sibling Turmoil
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sibling-Turmoil/17259636424522573.html
2012-06-07T21:06:00Z
2012-06-07T21:06:00Z
<p>My little sister is my best friend. It has not always been this way, but I value her friendship more than any other human being (other than my husband).</p>
<p>As children, our father pitted us against each other often sparking physical fights between us because he thought it was normal to hate your siblings. Then after our mother passed away, we lived separately because her mental health went into decline and she was in and out of homes, kicked out of our adopted families' home and moved from relative to relative until she finally got married. My little sister struggled with Bi-Polar disorder and we fought often, mostly due to the fact she felt I was not sad enough over our mother's death and felt I didn't love her enough.</p>
<p>When I met my husband he helped me cut her off completely because of her caustic affect on my emotions and well being. About 2 years ago though, she woke up, she lost a ton of weight, started feeling better about herself, and we made amends. I was cautious at first because we had made amends and broke ties many, many times over the last 15 years. It turned out I didn't need to be cautious though, and last December on the 14th anniversary of our mother's death, she called me telling me she was pregnant! We have had so much fun the last 7 months preparing for the baby and shopping for baby things and planning her baby shower. I finally feel like I am getting to be a big sister and that my little sister needs and looks up to me, and we talk every day!</p>
<p>Nicole</p>
Staff
2012-06-07T21:06:00Z
DIY Weather Station
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/DIY-Weather-Station/312538042579686932.html
2012-06-06T22:54:00Z
2012-06-06T22:54:00Z
<p>No need for any of the new technology. The simplest meteorologist you've ever seen.<br /><br /><img style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" src="/images/blog/stone_weather.jpg" alt="DIY Weather Station" width="450" height="363" /></p>
Staff
2012-06-06T22:54:00Z
How Not to Raise a Child
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Not-to-Raise-a-Child/-238362206809370884.html
2012-06-06T22:50:00Z
2012-06-06T22:50:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,<br /><br />With your help, I've developed my own 'dogma' for raising children over these past 15 years. I decided to write some of it on my blog today:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><strong>How Not to Raise a Child<br /></strong><br />I am a big advocate for families... I think that the basis of society is the family. Procreation is the epitome of life and raising a child in a loving and nurturing environment is essential to their health as an adult. Regardless of the trends in "modern families", this fact will always be true. Selfishness, greed, pride-- unfortunately these sins get in the way of doing what's right and what's best for the family. These are some of my ways not to raise a child… <br /><a href="http://bethanyjanehissong.blogspot.com/2012/06/how-not-to-raise-child.html" target="_blank">http://bethanyjanehissong.blogspot.com/2012/06/how-not-to-raise-child.html</a></p>
</blockquote>
<p>I'm not sure if I'll have people agreeing with me or not, but I wanted to share it because it took a long time to know this (as all wisdom does!).<br /><br />If you get a second, peruse my list... I hope you agree!<br /><br />Love,<br /><br />Bethany</p>
Staff
2012-06-06T22:50:00Z
Differences in Attending College - Then and Now
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Differences-in-Attending-College---Then-and-Now/-400938276585783306.html
2012-06-05T21:59:00Z
2012-06-05T21:59:00Z
<p>"Is attending college harder than when I attended?" Yes, but here are my reasons...Yes, college is harder to get into and it should be because there is an expectation that everyone should go to college but the truth is we need people with vocations and not just degrees. Competition to get into schools is a good thing to weed out the ones who really should go into a vocation, say plumbing, and not get an English or whatever degree. In my day, we had to weed out the class so the professors knew the serious students from those that were killing time.</p>
<p>Second, in our consumer driven society, it's hard to afford all the luxury items we "must have" and pay college tuition, so since we are a credit society, we borrow now and worry how to pay later.</p>
<p>My husband and I worked to put our kids through school by not having the biggest house we could have had and the newest, most luxurious cars. We don't live off our credit cards, but rather live on a cash basis because our values were to pay for our kids' college without debt. We have 4 kids - two graduated from college and are working, one is a junior in college, and one is going this fall. I have nice average kids not smart enough or as achievement driven to get scholarships but they did get into nice universities. We are paying cash either from savings or through paychecks for everything, but they are on budgets. They are poor college students and they must earn for their spending money, but they have room, board, books, tuition and such paid by Mom and Dad. I dream of a day I can have my luxury sports car, but that's a few years away, along with our retirement home.</p>
<p>My kids know what sacrifices we have gone through to give them this gift of a debt-free college education and are grateful. I don't know who was more proud of them graduating my husband and me or the kids. Our pride was from doing the right thing and showing our kids how it could be done. We will see how they do with their kids.</p>
<p>College Mom</p>
<p>PS. Our youngest is going to college on a sports scholarship and we are proud and excited for him, but we're also keeping his college fund in reserve because you never know when things may change. Until then, I have a few more years to dream about my sports car. We also just paid cash for our daughter's big white wedding...btw she did it the Dr. Laura way.</p>
Staff
2012-06-05T21:59:00Z
The Mental Workout of a Lifetime
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Mental-Workout-of-a-Lifetime/959103983453311831.html
2012-06-05T21:53:00Z
2012-06-05T21:53:00Z
<p>I graduated in 1968, after a New York State Regents scholarship paid for my entire education. I also worked summers to pay for books and to help at home as my dad was disabled.</p>
<p>That would not be possible today. I guess I'd work all day and go to school at night, taking many extra years to get my degree. Or, I'd just save up till I had enough to minimize any debt I incurred. Our kids are extremely lucky to have their educations paid for. Most can't do this.</p>
<p>A college education is still essential, not just because of jobs. If you study and are in rigorous programs, you will get a 4-year mental workout that will last a lifetime. It's not the current view, but it's my view that a liberal arts education is essential. Throughout life, you run into situations which might lead you to compromise ideals, quality of thought, and to stop asking so many pesky questions. Not good. An educated and questioning population is the best insurance against social decay like we're experiencing now.</p>
<p>Anyway, what's harder for kids now is, obviously, the cost of college. What may not be so obvious is the anti-intellectual trend of our society, the tendency to settle for the easy fix (TV, movies, easy reading, junk food) and not examine things. I would not have made it as a SAHM without the mental strength I had because of my education. My self-esteem was under assault constantly, and I was able to fight back.</p>
<p>It's very scary, because our country is at a crossroads. We could lose many freedoms unless we stay alert, talk back, and ask questions. One may be born with some type of genetic level of intelligence, but it does take training to develop it, and college is definitely worth it.</p>
<p>Barbara</p>
Staff
2012-06-05T21:53:00Z
Enlisted Marine Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Enlisted-Marine-Mom/240619227667720994.html
2012-06-04T22:56:00Z
2012-06-04T22:56:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>I have listened to you for years and have shared your wisdom with my daughters who are now 25 and 20 (sometimes much to their consternation)!</p>
<p>I just wanted to let you know you have helped me to accept and welcome my recent challenge in becoming a Marine Corp Mom. My youngest is more than half-way through her 13-week training at boot camp. When she first came to us about joining, I could only think of myself, my fears for her safety and the possible danger. I then remembered your strength during Deryk's training and deployment and I "got on-board" so to speak and learned what patriotism is for the first time in my life. I have never been more proud.</p>
<p>Then the waiting set in after she left and I thought I would go crazy with worry (didn't hear from her for three weeks - her call didn't get through). I thought, "What would Dr. Laura do?" and you guessed it I'm now creating jewelry! It's so much fun and has really helped to keep me busy while waiting to see my kid's beautiful face at graduation!</p>
<p>Just wanted to thank you for your support of our homegrown heroes. My daughter may have enlisted, but now I am a drafted Marine Corp Mom! Oohrah!!!</p>
<p>Julia</p>
Staff
2012-06-04T22:56:00Z
Guilt-Free Lovebird
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Guilt-Free-Lovebird/-190189890450419277.html
2012-06-04T22:53:00Z
2012-06-04T22:53:00Z
<p>I was just listening to you talk about Babe (your dog) eating one of your favorite caps. I have my own story. I was given a book in 1977 called 'Olympian Cars,' one of the best car books ever. The book had (notice the tense of the verb) the most beautiful cover -a painting of an early 30's Cadillac with chauffeur pulled up in front of the Plaza Hotel in New York. In spite of having spent many hours reading my book in the 30+ years I've owned it, the cover remained in near-perfect condition.</p>
<p>Until one day...I left my beloved bird, Sweet Pea, unsupervised in a back room. I will never forget the moment when I went into the room and saw my little green bird having the time of her life chewing my beautiful bookcover to smithereens. If I've ever seen an expression of pure bliss it was on the face of my little bird. She looked at m e with a shred of the cover in her little beak as if to say: "Look Daddy!" Trust me, Sweet Pea was not troubled by any pangs of guilt! I remember picking her up and laughing. All I could do was tell her what my mother would tell me when I was a little boy and had destroyed something she valued: "I've had that since before you were born!"</p>
<p>David</p>
Staff
2012-06-04T22:53:00Z
First Kisses: One Perfect, One Not. Both Great Memories
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/First-Kisses:-One-Perfect,-One-Not.-Both-Great-Memories/200077320121437832.html
2012-06-01T22:05:00Z
2012-06-01T22:05:00Z
<p>My first kiss is to this day, one of my sweetest memories. It happened 35 years ago but I still remember all the details. I was in 8th grade and had a crush on Richard, a boy in my sister's class, two years older than me. He came by to visit (my sister, or so I thought) and we eventually went for a walk. It was a warm April day and on the way, it began to rain a little. Out of nowhere, he reached over and held my hand. This was my first time holding hands with a boy and my heart was beating wildly.</p>
<p>When we arrived back at our house, he leaned down and kissed me. It was the perfect kiss, gentlemanly (nothing gross like teenage boys can be prone to do) but warm and sweet. For that moment or two, everything in my tumultuous, 8th grade world, was completely right.</p>
<p>Kitty</p>
<p><br /><br /><br />I would like to tell you about my husband's first kiss, as his comment is so incredibly memorable.</p>
<p>We were both talking about our first kisses, and I told my boys about how I was "sniped" by my date, and got kissed rather unexpectedly and roughly, and how much I hated it.</p>
<p>My husband piped up with, "My first kiss wasn't that great, either!"</p>
<p>It took me a second to remember that my husband's first kiss was ME!!! We still laugh about it to this day, and my boys love to bring up how their father's first kiss wasn't all that great...</p>
<p>Carla</p>
Staff
2012-06-01T22:05:00Z
My Secret to Happiness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Secret-to-Happiness/-696465209913920132.html
2012-06-01T22:02:00Z
2012-06-01T22:02:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura -</p>
<p>Long time listener and big time fan of yours. Saw you a couple of years ago in Redwood City, California.</p>
<p>My husband and I moved to Florida a year ago, to go have fun and travel. Our less pricey rental was to be our home base. He soon came down with what turned out to be terminal cancer and passed away 5 months later at the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville. My boss in Half Moon Bay, California, offered me my job back and I moved back home to familiar surroundings and loved ones.</p>
<p>I have lost 30 pounds and have never felt better. I am happy and dating and people are astounded, and even jealous, that I am doing so well.</p>
<p>Perhaps my secret to happiness was experiencing my husband's death and how every day, every moment is a gift which cannot be wasted. When I walked out of that hospice center for the last time, I felt my body, checked my legs and arms, and said to myself, "Well, I'm still alive - I didn't die. I've got to get busy - there's so much to do in life! Let's not waste a second." And I've been the Energizer bunny ever since, not wasting a single moment, except to sit with a good friend and have a beer.</p>
<p>May God bless you and all you do for our troops and their families. My husband served 26 years and I was proud to be called his girlfriend.</p>
<p>Very truly yours,</p>
<p>Julie</p>
Staff
2012-06-01T22:02:00Z
How I Wrapped My Mental Wounds
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-I-Wrapped-My-Mental-Wounds/16394551978507728.html
2012-05-31T22:26:00Z
2012-05-31T22:26:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I'm a 51 year old woman, who always considered myself to be a strong and capable person. I never really understood how friends and acquaintances would have a phobia or fear of flying, or a fear of heights, etc. I've always loved the thrill of heights (skydiving), adventure (white water rafting), and basically trying anything new.</p>
<p>That changed 1 1/2 years ago on a vacation to the Bahamas, where I experienced a near drowning incident. I was snorkeling with my husband and a group of people (we were on a trip to swim with the dolphins in the ocean), when I found myself in a position where I was alone, and lost all of my strength and couldn't swim back to the boat. After waving the distress signal, the chartered boat staff saw me but didn't take my distress signal seriously. That's when I began to truly worry about my safety, and panic set in! I thrashed about in the water, couldn't get my breath, and thought I was going to drown. The crew eventually rescued me. I was distraught, but being a strong person, I "got over it", and continued on with the vacation. We came back from vacation, and I told no one. In the last 1 1/2 years, I put the incident behind me and told myself to move on ... not so easy to do!</p>
<p>In the past year, I slowly began to experience small anxious moments, particularly in small spaces. And it came to a head when we went bobsledding at the Olympic site in Vancouver. The actual bobsledding didn't bother me, rather it was the tight space we were in. At that moment in the bobsled, everything came crashing around me emotionally and I experienced a full panic attack. I was embarrassed, but mostly scared for my mental condition. What was happening to me???</p>
<p>I immediately sought counseling, and was told I was essentially trying to "hold a beach ball under the water" for the last 1 1/2 years, by not acknowledging and dealing with the drowning event. In the last couple of months, I have told my family and friends about what I'm going through, I have informed my family doctor and my naturopath, and I'm in regular counseling to slowly recover from this new condition. And I have an amazingly supportive husband who is my rock! It's a slow process, but I've learned one MUST acknowledge what happened, get help and support, and focus on how strong one can be during a crisis (and not how victimized we may feel). I am drawing on the strength of others around me to help me realize that one unfortunate moment in my life does not define me. It has made me realize asking for help is okay, and I can turn this around with persistence and time.</p>
<p>Thank you for letting me tell my story. I hope it may help someone else!</p>
<p>Warm Regards,</p>
<p>Dawn</p>
Staff
2012-05-31T22:26:00Z
Respect, Love and Commit
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Respect,-Love-and-Commit/-549270354983552125.html
2012-05-31T22:08:00Z
2012-05-31T22:08:00Z
<p>Dear Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I'm way behind on catching on to you. I live in a rural area, etc, so it's only through your books that I've been able to experience your advice.</p>
<p>I picked up the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands from the library recently. My husband saw it sitting on the table and asked about it. I wasn't done reading it yet, and promised I'd give him the rundown when I was finished. I'd heard controversy about it from an online forum, so I wanted to find out for myself what it was about.</p>
<p>What I found extremely interesting was that your book confirmed my stance on my marriage. Granted, I'm imperfect, but it's how I strive to manage things. Having a severe chronic pain disability as a result of a work injury certainly has a negative impact, but I'm working on it as best I can.</p>
<p>I mention the disability because before I was injured, my idea of marriage (and faith) was far different. I would have been among those decrying your book. God used my injury, and loss of use of my dominant hand and arm to grow my faith, and show me how my attitude was harming my marriage and therefore my children.</p>
<p>Reading your book confirmed and encouraged me in my point of view and determination to respect, love, and commit to my husband and marriage.</p>
<p>Thank you.</p>
<p>Regards,</p>
<p>Melissa</p>
Staff
2012-05-31T22:08:00Z
Marriage - The Early Years
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Marriage---The-Early-Years/922957845222170544.html
2012-05-30T23:38:00Z
2012-05-30T23:38:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Wow, a trip to memory lane! I must say that my most favorite memory of the early years of our marriage would have to be when we spent romantic evenings riding on the Bahia Belle on Mission Bay in San Diego: the night air on our faces, the aroma of salt water, listening to the band, dancing and just plain enjoying each other. It was like being on vacation without actually being on vacation. Then again, living in San Diego in general makes you feel that way. We went sailing and once or twice water skiing with one of my husband's friends.</p>
<p>Having a child and changes in our lifestyles over the years made it a bit harder to do the things we used to do. Now that I am thinking of it, I can suggest to him we find the time to do these things once again. Thank you for this topic. It really made me stop and think.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>your fan Laurie</p>
<p> </p>
<p>My family--mom, dad, two sisters, niece, etc--go camping every year at a local state park and have for the past 34 years of my life, since I was 12.</p>
<p>The second year of our marriage, my hubby was not able to get off the week of the camping trip. Instead, he sent me and my 3 year old daughter, (his stepdaughter) on without him, planning to drive on up that weekend.</p>
<p>He didn't. He chose to ride up with my ex-husband, someone neither one of us was very fond of at the time. (He and I had divorced due to his alcoholism.) But since my ex had joined AA and was making a concerted effort to 'make nice', my darling husband thought it was a good opportunity to do his part. After all, they both loved the same women--me, and the little one. Plus, he wanted to make sure my ex was not drinking (despite his alcoholism, we had been unable to get his visitation changed to supervised).</p>
<p>So, after spending 8 hours in a truck with a man he had to make nice with, he arrived at the park. Found the family down at the river...me and my little one in the river. He walked into the water, clothes, shoes, and all. In that moment, all he saw was me, all he wanted was to get to ME.</p>
<p>It was one of the most romantic things ever.</p>
<p>Michelle</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>The first five years of my almost 37 year marriage was so memorable because we had just enough: Just enough to get by on, only a black and white TV, no cable, or new technology. My husband and I who are music lovers would put on a record or 2 and play cards, just the two of us. We would talk and laugh or sometimes go for a late night drive with the windows down listening to the car radio and I sat right next to him (bench seats) and we would just BE together. Now, if we have a storm and the power is off sometimes (but not always) we forget what to do and how to just be in the moment.</p>
<p>Linda</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After 2 long years of graduate school in different states, my husband and I were finally through with school and newly married. I remember lying in bed with my husband one night thinking about how grateful I was that we were together and had our whole lives in front of us. I remember thinking don't ever forget how this feels right now and I haven't. Sixteen years and 2 kids later, I still remember how I felt that night and try not to take one moment with my family for granted.</p>
<p>Elizabeth</p>
<p> </p>
<p>One of my fondest memories was when we went out into the desert to see Haley's Comet. It started raining, but we were secure in our tent. It rained hard all night long, but we were safe, dry, and warm. We also, had each other.</p>
<p>Gary</p>
<p> </p>
<p>One of my favorite memories from the first few years of marriage is frequently staying up until 2am on weeknights, drinking beer, eating candy, and making up our own house rules to monopoly...that was pre-kids of course (smiles).</p>
<p>Angela</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2012-05-30T23:38:00Z
Why I Like My Best Friend, Shelley
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-I-Like-My-Best-Friend,-Shelley/120305190616996131.html
2012-05-30T23:36:00Z
2012-05-30T23:36:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>When you wanted to hear about my best friend I could not pass up the opportunity to tell you about her.</p>
<p>WE have known one another since we were babies, our mother's were best friends, and we lived down the street from one another growing up. WE did all the childhood antics together, even trading houses for a weekend because we thought the other had "it better". WE found out, it was all the same!</p>
<p>Our lives have taken us in different directions over the years, she is in Northern California, I still in So. Cal. We may not call all the time, or email all the time, but anytime one of us needs something, a good laugh, a good cry or a good ear, we are there for one another in a heartbeat. She is my one true trusted confidant (outside of my husband!). We love one another like sisters. And even though our children never grew up together, they refer to me as aunt and my friend Shelley is my children's aunt.</p>
<p>She is kind, generous, funny, loving caring and all in all a beautiful individual. One I could never ever leave behind.</p>
<p>As I am writing this, I have tears in my eyes, because when I went through my 25 surgeries throughout the years, she always sent me funny cards to cheer me up, she once sent me a card a day while I was in the hospital for a week!</p>
<p>She is one of a kind, and I am blessed to have her in my life.</p>
<p>Karen</p>
Staff
2012-05-30T23:36:00Z
The Importance of Family Vacations
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Importance-of-Family-Vacations/670412566925223328.html
2012-05-29T20:03:00Z
2012-05-29T20:03:00Z
<p>I'm the middle of seven sons; my mom wanted a daughter, and my folks sure tried, but no luck! After 20 years in the Marines my dad retired when I was 10 yrs. old and he returned to college to get a masters degree, becoming a High School biology teacher (A 2nd 20 year career!).</p>
<p>Many summers we'd enjoy short (7-10 days) camping vacations to Calif. State Parks and National Parks (Sequoia & Yosemite were favorites). When my older brother was graduating from High School (1965, I was 15 yrs. old, he was 18) my dad said he could plan "a 3-4 week camping vacation wherever he wanted to go, as his Grad Trip!" I was excited he had us driving the western U.S., visiting friends and relatives in Las Vegas, NV, Cheyenne, WY, and southern Idaho. We were also going to be camping at several National Parks, including Zion, Bryce, Rocky Mtn., Yellowstone and Grand Teton!</p>
<p>My dad had a small 1963 Ply. Valliant station wagon, and we loaded the back and the roof rack with all our clothes, food and camping gear and Dad, Mom, and four sons (aged 7 to 18; two older boys had college summer jobs, the youngest stayed with friends)and headed out on our grand adventure in early July. I was a California boy and when we got to Rocky Mtn. National Park I remember being amazed to see Snow along the road in late-July! We were driving over the continental divide, above 10,000 ft. elevation, and my dad explained because the air is so oxygen thin and the temps. so cold and harsh during winter, that trees do not grow very high. The alpine tundra flowers were beautiful and fascinating. Yellowstone N. P. was another camping stop that was a delight. To see the "Old Faithful" geyser predictably spout high in the air, and to hike by "boiling pots" of steaming muddy water was a treat.</p>
<p>But what I remember most was how our family worked together to make the long trip possible. We brothers all helped Dad set up and break camp, and learned the routine so we could do it without his instruction. We listened to the car radio and sang along with many of the songs as Dad drove. We looked for state license plates, and tried to spot "Burma-Shave" signs along the country roads. Those old signs were fun to find and to read. Oh, and the early breakfasts; my mom loved to cook up eggs, bacon, pancakes or toast, with hot chocolate almost every morning; it was a great way to start a day's adventures.</p>
<p>It was such a memorable trip I spent the next two years planning where we would drive for my "Grad. Trip" in 1968! It was another great family vacation adventure, this time camping in the Pacific Northwest and the Canadian Rockies (Lake Louise was spectacular!). I'm glad my mom and dad liked to take the family camping; we had some great family vacations seeing this beautiful country of ours.</p>
<p>THANKS Mom & Dad!</p>
<p>Your Son,</p>
<p>Casey</p>
Staff
2012-05-29T20:03:00Z
Never Too Old to Learn Something New
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Never-Too-Old-to-Learn-Something-New/-414613466398458081.html
2012-05-29T20:01:00Z
2012-05-29T20:01:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I'm writing to tell you I think you are a wonderful role model, and I'm not talking about professionally this time! I mean you are always learning something new! THIS is the key to happiness and what keeps us feeling young and alive. It's not about the money or the power or anything like that... it's about the excitement of trying something new. THIS is the lesson I want to teach my own teenagers as they move closer to adulthood.</p>
<p>I just went back to school to pursue a new career (I'm 45 and my Dad thinks I'm crazy!). I think I'm still young and I love to learn. And this career is in the medical field so I can help people. I used to be an art teacher and a professional designer/illustrator. I'm still some of those things, but I'm following my love of anatomy/physiology (something my parents didn't support when I was in High School) and am going for it! I'm also learning kayaking, cross-country skiing, counted cross-stitch, Photoshop for illustrations, Pilates... it never stops!</p>
<p>You don't have to sit around and watch other people do things on tv. You can get out there and learn something new yourself! When you start looking at the possibilities you'll find lots of people teaching classes (and a lot of times they are free!), great books at the library and even some outdoor adventures in places where you live. You are never too old to learn!</p>
<p>Thanks Dr. Laura for being such a wonderful public role model for people!</p>
<p>Bethany</p>
Staff
2012-05-29T20:01:00Z
My Hobby Became My High
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Hobby-Became-My-High/-499975526044552574.html
2012-05-25T22:00:00Z
2012-05-25T22:00:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>With 4 little ones, I never thought I had time for myself to have a hobby. My "hobby" was trying to balance motherhood, while working from home. However, I recently developed an all encompassing hobby that was in large part inspired by the nags and nudges you have so generously given me over the years, on the air.</p>
<p>I was coping with being fat, I was 5'4" and over 200 lbs. but my hair started falling out in chunks and fat sounded much worse when combined with bald. I made a visit to my doctor only to find out my cholesterol was 242 and I had officially graduated from overweight to obesity. They prescribed me a cholesterol lowering medication. I didn't fill it.</p>
<p>I began to devise a plan to get myself out of the mess I created without taking medication. I didn't feel I was capable of erasing my food addiction, I was, however, capable of finding something as equally as addicting as food, that could reverse the affects of the food addiction. It occurred to me I had friends who were runners and they weren't fat. I committed to a 5k and started running with them. I HATED running at first. I was determined to become addicted to this so called "runner's high."</p>
<p>When I completed this 5k I got the itch. I began to challenge and compete with myself. I knew I could do a 5k faster than 36 min. Two years later, I PR'd with a 22 min 5k, and won, out of over 80 people in my division. The camaraderie and fun times we share training together, and going to races together makes for a great hobby. Furthermore, I never knew the beauty in my own "backyard." I have lived in Southern California all 37 years of my life, and I cannot believe I was missing out on such amazing natural wonders. The beauty we experience on the trails, as the sun is rising while most people are still sleeping, is awe inspiring.</p>
<p>You have truly inspired me. I took literally what you said on the air, to exercise on "obligation NOT motivation." I run every morning, Mon - Sat; I don't know anyone who is motivated to climb out of their warm cozy bed at 5 am. I continue to obligate myself because I have never regretted a great run with friends.</p>
<p>I love my running hobby because I am a multi-tasker and it "kills [at least] 7 birds with one stone": 1) exercise 2) develops talent/hobby 3) natural drug-runner's high, anti-depressant and cholesterol lowering 4) balances my life, 5) adds hours to my day/increases energy 6) great therapy (what comes to our runs, stays on our runs) 7) Clean fresh air, and cheaper than a stinky sweaty gym.</p>
<p>Dr. Laura, this has been truly life changing. I can honestly say I am good example to my children now. I have lost 60 lbs, got my cholesterol down to 185 without medication, run 2 marathons, dropped almost 1 hour off my time and qualified for the Boston Marathon.</p>
<p>Thank you for being such an inspiration to so many people.</p>
<p>Kelly</p>
Staff
2012-05-25T22:00:00Z
The Essence of Hobbies
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Essence-of-Hobbies/185399174999915923.html
2012-05-25T21:56:00Z
2012-05-25T21:56:00Z
<p>Kami:<br />For a long time after I had kids, I put all my time, thought, emotion, and energy into them, and was happy to do it. But I eventually realized that left very little for my husband or myself.</p>
<p>Since then, I strive to keep more balance in my life. I started exercising and lost 40 pounds. I read. I ride and train my horse. I've taken up photography. I keep a daily journal of our family. And at the ripe old age of 39 I started training for my first triathlon!</p>
<p>Not only have these hobbies enhanced my life, but they've made me a better mom and wife. Hobbies help fill my emotional and mental 'cup', which I'm then happy to share with my family and community (through service). Allowing myself time to recharge gives me the energy to keep giving to those around me. It's kind of like putting on your own oxygen mask (on an airplane) before helping someone else! You can't keep giving when you've got nothing left in you.</p>
<p><br />Susan:<br />My newly acquired hobby - within the last year, is becoming a puppy raiser/pet sitter for Guiding Eyes for the Blind. You may not be aware but the first 18 months of a Guiding Eyes prospective guide dog, is spent with a family that raises, loves and teaches them using the guiding eyes STEP method of training. Pet sitters are just as important to the program as the puppy raisers in order to follow the consistency of the care and learning process. After about 18 months, the dogs are then are sent to guide dog "college" (if they have passed the first level) in Yorktown Heights, NY. Many people ask how one can stand loving and tending to a puppy, only to have to give it up. For me it is not unlike raising a son, and then sending him off to contribute to society. And what other hobby gives back with "licks of love".</p>
<p>Marc: <br />Golf is like life. It teaches you to be organized, one club out at a time, put it back in your bag so you can find it when needed. Keep your own score, why would you cheat against yourself? Fix your ball marks and divots plus two others, always leave a golf course in better condition than when you got there, just like our world. Be respectful of other people's time, don't make people behind you wait. If you can't keep up with the group ahead of you, kindly let the faster players behind you pass. Like on the freeway, don't be that jerk who gets in the fast lane going slow texting, tweeting, or talking on the phone, or on the course either!!</p>
Staff
2012-05-25T21:56:00Z
Singing His Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Singing-His-Love/-256106565691781753.html
2012-05-24T23:09:00Z
2012-05-24T23:09:00Z
<p>My husband and I are both musicians. While dating, I had written a lovey-dovey love song to him, and he was so moved by it, he decided to do the same for me. But he got halfway through writing it and developed a serious case of writer's block. The months went by and I had forgotten about the unfinished song.</p>
<p>A few days before our 1 year dating anniversary, he visited me at work, during my lunch break, with guitar in hand to show me the finished song. I'd had a horrible day at work with demanding and rude customers, so I was extra happy to see him. He played up to the part of the song he'd finished before the writer's block hit. Then he put down the guitar, pulled a ring box out of his pocket and set it down opened in front of me. He picked the guitar back up and continued the song..."Your beautiful face lights my life. So now I ask you, please be my wife..." After he finished the song, I said yes through my tears, and he put the beautiful ring on my finger. It was all so wonderfully romantically cliché! I can't imagine a better proposal. Now, two weeks before we celebrate our 10 yr. anniversary, after 5 kids, all our ups and downs, we are both still hopeless romantics.</p>
<p>A</p>
Staff
2012-05-24T23:09:00Z
Our Engagement Has Become a Family Tradition
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-Engagement-Has-Become-a-Family-Tradition/-413149703736897914.html
2012-05-24T23:05:00Z
2012-05-24T23:05:00Z
<p>We were at Biola University in La Mirada, CA. We were and always have been the 'what you see is what you get' type of people and because we'd been friends prior to dating we pretty much had no surprises after tying the knot. We are now going on 29 of the most wonderful years of married life with 3 kids all in their 20s: daughter - married; son - probably will be engaged in the next few months; and a single daughter. We've had external type life problems but our 'internal' married life has been more than I could've asked for.</p>
<p>Our engagement story:</p>
<p>A couple months prior to getting engaged my now husband called my dad (he was president of a savings and loan in Seattle back then) at work. They'd never met, although Mom had met him. He asked my dad if he could marry me and Dad asked the usual questions.</p>
<p>Sometime after, my now husband and I were driving and he pulled over to some shrubs that were growing along the road saying he'd 'seen' something. What he'd 'seen' was a single rose and a poem he'd written that basically said 'the next time you receive a single rose will be the day I propose'.</p>
<p>A couple months later, he was playing in a flag football game on a Friday night. I was there cheering him on and during a time out, he started running toward me. Before I realized what was going on, he handed me a single rose! His dad happened to be here from the east coast and we'd been planning on going to his grandparents' home in Long Beach to see his dad. Game ended… He cleaned up… We started driving to Long Beach… And there's still no proposal from him. We stopped off in Long Beach at Naples - there're nice multi-million dollar homes all in and around the water like the real Naples in Italy. We walked…and walked…while he purposely made me impatient - until we found this corner spot. He got down on one knee and proposed. We headed over to the family gathering and it was a wonderful night!</p>
<p>From then on, since our kids were very little, we've gone to see the lights in Naples at Christmas and we stop at the same spot and painstakingly tell that story to them EVERY year...We'll bring friends, we'll bring their dates, we'll bring whoever, but we always stop and tell our story! The kids eat it up even though over the years we've had a few 'roll your eye' moments. BUT I will say when we bring newbies with us now, the kids have already told them of this tradition!</p>
<p>Shawn</p>
Staff
2012-05-24T23:05:00Z
Holding on Tight for One Last Minute
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Holding-on-Tight-for-One-Last-Minute/208025386779910555.html
2012-05-23T22:28:00Z
2012-05-23T22:28:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I wrote a story about taking my daughter to college which was published in the regional newspaper here in southern California. This really explains why I spent so much time with my daughter as the day eventually comes where you have to make sure she can live in the world on her own.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><em>Probably like other college-bound teenagers, our daughter, in her short summer from high school graduation to the move-in date, managed to find many ways to make us want her to leave.</em></p>
<p><em>Suggestions to find a job were met with, "Daaaaad, Costa got out the end of June and ASU starts in mid-August. It wouldn't be fair to an employer to work for so short a time."</em></p>
<p><em>How about cleaning out your room and packing? "Daaaaad, that will only take a couple of hours. It's Arizona. I'll only need some shorts, T-shirts and flip-flops." <br /></em><br />Read the entire article: <a href="http://www.dailybreeze.com/ci_20071748?IADID=Search-www.dailybreeze.com-www.dailybreeze.com" target="_blank">My Turn: Holding on tight for one last minute before saying goodbye to childhood</a></p>
</blockquote>
<p>Dads have to realize how important they are to their daughters.</p>
<p>All the best,</p>
<p>Joe</p>
Staff
2012-05-23T22:28:00Z
I Found Balance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Found-Balance/-103210329957116527.html
2012-05-23T22:23:00Z
2012-05-23T22:23:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>The other day my 11 year old son asked me why I listened to you. Surprisingly, I did not have an answer. I had to think about it for a few days, and then God brought me revelation.</p>
<p>I was raised by my paternal grandmother who was a God fearing woman who believed you needed to be nice to everyone no matter what and that everyone, down deep, was nice. My biological mother, who I did not see that often maybe spring break for a week, or a weekend here and there, believed you needed to stand up and fight about every little thing, and be as irrational as you wanted to be while doing it. In you, I find balance. You help me to know when to stand up and how to do it, and you also teach me how to be gracious to people when I really do not have to fight. You teach me how to be loving.</p>
<p>You are the mother I never had. Thank you.</p>
<p>Peace and Grace in Christ,</p>
<p>Shereese</p>
Staff
2012-05-23T22:23:00Z
9:15AM and My Day Has Barely Begun...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/9:15AM-and-My-Day-Has-Barely-Begun.../-382168285988492235.html
2012-05-22T22:23:00Z
2012-05-22T22:23:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>While I was sitting with my kids this morning, I was so incredibly happy I wanted to write it down so I'd remember it on a tougher day. In only a few moments I could visualize how my life could have been. I compared the two options in my head and I thought I'd share it with you...</p>
<p>Vision #1: The alarm goes off at 6:00 AM. I crack open my tired eyes and lumber to the bathroom. I go through the regular morning routine of showering, getting dressed, and eating a quick breakfast. The alarm sounds again at 7:00 AM for my husband to get up - he also goes through his morning routine - rushing to get out the door. Meanwhile, I have to wake and nurse the 9 month old, while watching the morning news and traffic reports. 7:30 AM. I change the baby and prop him in front of the TV with some toys and go wake the 2 year old. I rush him through his breakfast and get him dressed. In the background, my husband says good morning to the boys and sneaks out the backdoor to work. I barely saw him.</p>
<p>The clock is ticking away and I rush to inspect the day care bags I packed last night to make sure all the required items are there. I scurry to load the kids into the car, grab my work bag, purse, and the day care bags. I fight the morning traffic, hurriedly drop off the kids, and quickly shift gears to prepare myself for the work day. I do a mental check of my schedule: run through the meetings I'll need to attend, I have to proofread a presentation then deliver it before training our department, and work through lunch to get it all done before 6 PM today, hoping to be home by 7 PM to start dinner.</p>
<p>I'm sure there are a few things I've forgotten but there's no time to dwell on that now. I arrive at work at 9:15 AM. My day has barely begun and I'm already daydreaming about a nap...</p>
<p>That's how my mornings would have been had I stayed at my job. I am lucky though - my husband and I have decided to have me stay at home with the kids trading the financial luxuries that a second income affords for the priceless luxury of raising my children. Instead this morning went like this...</p>
<p>The alarm sounds at 7:00 AM. My husband starts his morning routine. The baby hears him in the shower and I fetch him from his crib. I take a few minutes to let him wake up and listen to him coo the sweetest word, "Mama" over and over. I start the coffee pot and settle in to nurse the baby in silence. My husband eats his breakfast and softly talks to me before he heads out to work. The 2 year old stumbles out of bed as I finish with the baby.</p>
<p>8:00AM. I change the baby and get the 2 year old his juice. He climbs up into the chair with me and we snuggle for about 20 minutes while the baby plays on the floor and we watch a kid's show on TV. He finally climbs down and I make our breakfast. We eat waffles together and talk about the shapes and colors we see in the kitchen. I set him free to play with his toys and toss some chicken into a marinade for dinner.</p>
<p>I do a mental check of my day: wash the breakfast dishes, there's two loads of laundry to wash, fold and put away, make lunch and dinner, play outside because it's beautiful - maybe go for a walk, and finally clean out the vacuum filter and make a pass through the whole upstairs.</p>
<p>I'm sure there are a few things I've forgotten, but nothing is ever set in stone for us. It is 9:15 AM, my day has barely begun, and I couldn't be happier.</p>
<p>My Kids' Mom,</p>
<p>Sarah</p>
Staff
2012-05-22T22:23:00Z
How to Be Proud of Yourself
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-to-Be-Proud-of-Yourself/-282677779011001102.html
2012-05-22T22:09:00Z
2012-05-22T22:09:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>This is something I thought you'd like (evidence you're right - lol). I just found this article in Parents magazine. It's about encouraging independence in your children and this is #2 on their list:</p>
<p><em>"We can't give our children high self-esteem.</em> [That's the title.] <em>After promoting self-esteem for two decades, we are seeing more depression and anxiety in young people, not higher levels of self-confidence. IT TURNS OUT THAT TELLING KIDS THEY ARE GREAT ALL THE TIME DOESN'T HELP THEM THAT MUCH</em> [I wonder where I've heard that before] <em>instead, it makes them suspicious of adults because THEY CAN SEE they're not as good at doing some things as other kids are. </em>[What?! We aren't all the same?!?!?!] <em>Self-esteem COMES FROM BUILDING SKILLS AND MASTERING CHALLENGING TASKS ON THEIR OWN</em> [You mean, in order to be proud of yourself, you have to do something to be proud of?! Impossible!] <em>Your child's greatest sense of achievement may come from succeeding in a situation where he had tasted defeat, had been REALLY UPSET, and then had come back to triumph."</em></p>
<p>I just thought you should see that. I'm sure next month some parent will write in upset about the fact this magazine dared to say their child might have to EARN self-respect, but it still made me happy to see it.</p>
<p>Thank you for all you do!</p>
<p>Brittani</p>
Staff
2012-05-22T22:09:00Z
Marital Advice from Father to Son
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Marital-Advice-from-Father-to-Son/-554308352291684929.html
2012-05-21T19:27:00Z
2012-05-21T19:27:00Z
<p>I had to share this letter Ronald Reagan wrote to his son before he was married. I know you'll enjoy it:</p>
<p><a href="http://www.lettersofnote.com/2012/05/love-dad.html" target="_blank">http://www.lettersofnote.com/2012/05/love-dad.html</a></p>
<p>My favorite line is: "There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps."</p>
<p>Thanks for all you do, Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>Natalie</p>
Staff
2012-05-21T19:27:00Z
Could the Tide Be Turning?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Could-the-Tide-Be-Turning/316125085004382895.html
2012-05-21T19:21:00Z
2012-05-21T19:21:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My admiration for you reached new heights after I was attacked on a conservative website for saying children are better off when their mothers stay home. I know whereof I speak; my mother worked, and I found it difficult to deal with her absence. I shared that experience, and in response, another woman stated she had friends who felt they we better mothers when they worked. I asked her if those women had ever asked their children how they felt about it. At that point, a couple of women said children don't know what is best for them. Someone pointed out studies have shown children do better with stay at home mothers. The women dismissed those studies as meaningless. These women didn't care what scientific studies say, and they didn't care how the kids felt either; the only thing they cared about is what they wanted.</p>
<p>The other women on that site told me I was bitter and I had no right to say children are better off with stay at home mothers. They said I was projecting my ugliness onto others. I was starting to get discouraged, when a couple of people came to my defense.</p>
<p>Later, when I reviewed the conversation, I realized I received far more "likes" than my opponents did. So there is hope, but there wouldn't be if it weren't for you. Thank God for you, Dr Laura. Thank you for defending children and the women who want to care for them.</p>
<p>Judy</p>
Staff
2012-05-21T19:21:00Z
The Voice Within
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Voice-Within/575439253009070112.html
2012-05-18T23:00:00Z
2012-05-18T23:00:00Z
<p>My granddaughter's friend was going into rehab for an eating disorder, so she wrote this. Obviously, I think it is wonderful. So much feeling. She is starting college this fall and wants to be a physician. We are very proud of her. I just had to share it. -- Georgia</p>
<p><strong>The Voice Within</strong><br />Allie Doles</p>
<p>I feel him in your eyes<br />I hear him in your voice<br />I see him kill you, slowly<br />I taste him in your actions<br />I smell him in the midnight air<br />More than all of this, I know.</p>
<p>I feel him pierce your soul<br />I feel the pain he causes you<br />I feel the tears roll down your face<br />I feel the hasty jerks of his violent spells<br />I feel him stab you, metaphorically yet so physically<br />More than I feel, I know.</p>
<p>I hear him tell you that you are "ugly"<br />I hear you tell yourself how much you hate him<br />I hear him tell you that you aren't "good enough"<br />I hear you tell him "no" as he yells louder and louder until you finally give in<br />I hear the words your heart screams, though your mind hears only a muffled whisper<br />More than I hear, I know.</p>
<p>I see you lose yourself, all because of him<br />I see you suffer every day, every single day<br />I see you die because of the lies he tells you<br />I see you do things your normal self would never do<br />I see the way you are deceived and painfully realize that all I can do is pray<br />More than I see, I know.</p>
<p>I taste your desire to overcome him<br />I taste the repercussions of his lies in the air<br />I taste each fabrication as he so blissfully spits it out<br />I taste the droplets of sorrow as they silently hit the ground<br />I taste his evil words as they flow so beautifully from your lips<br />More than I taste, I know.</p>
<p>I smell the lies he manipulates you into believing<br />I smell the fear released from your body all day long<br />I smell the aftermath of his many false claims of truth<br />I smell the odors of the things he has taught you to love<br />I smell odoriferous villains he sends to pace all around you<br />More than I smell, I know.</p>
<p>I know you hate him<br />I know you want him to leave<br />I know you can't go on like this forever<br />I know are scared to tell him it's "okay" to go<br />I know you are scared to release your power of control<br />I know.</p>
<p>...and...<br />More than I feel the demon<br />More than I hear the demon<br />More than I see the demon<br />More than I taste the demon<br />More than I smell the demon<br />More than I know the demon<br />I believe.</p>
<p>I believe in you, not him<br />I believe you can overcome<br />I believe you can defeat him<br />I believe that my prayers will one day be answered<br />I believe in the power of the Almighty God that I so reverently serve<br />I believe.</p>
Staff
2012-05-18T23:00:00Z
Choosing Wisely is Very Important
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Choosing-Wisely-is-Very-Important/442163916447717418.html
2012-05-18T22:57:00Z
2012-05-18T22:57:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I divorced my children's dad because he was a drug addict. I remarried a few years later. I did not know about you back then and I really wish I had. I know why you tell parents to not re-marry. I have spent far too much time over the last 12 years trying to make my new marriage work.</p>
<p>I should have been playing with my girls and being a full-time mom. I worked from home back then and we lived very simply. I truly wish that was the life my girls had to look back on.</p>
<p>If I had it to do all over again I would do it very differently. Now I am just going to have the very best relationship possible with my girls going forward. I will apologize for making very bad mistakes and do what I can to help the girls with any problems they may have with the choices I made.</p>
<p>I am purchasing each of them your book, "Bad Childhood, Good Life." I am purchasing this book for my current husband as well. I am done trying to make him happy at all costs. I am ok with being a good wife, but I will no longer accept the blame for things that are not my fault.</p>
<p>D.</p>
Staff
2012-05-18T22:57:00Z
Eating Humble Pie
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Eating-Humble-Pie/849839633178754502.html
2012-05-17T22:33:00Z
2012-05-17T22:33:00Z
<p>The last few weeks have been rough. I'm a teacher and students have early Spring Fever. This is a common occurrence: students getting restless when the weather warms up. However, this coupled with seemingly non-ending encounters with thoughtless co-workers and extended family has had me diving head-first into a pool of negativity.</p>
<p>Our community has a Teacher of the Year award. I was not nominated this year -again. My dear friend and co-worker was - for the second year. She's 2 for 2; I'm 0 for 2. Though I was happy for her, I was livid I had been overlooked. Why not me? I'm thoughtful and thorough, I work hard, and I know my subject!</p>
<p>I complained to my husband and non-teacher friends about this. They all agreed I had been slighted. Then I heard you on the radio talking about your friend Karen whom had worked for the DMV and was honored as the Employee of the Year. Karen was in the final stages of cancer. While accepting her award, she said, "When you have a job, it's an honor to have that job, and you should do it to the best of your ability without resentment and without attitude. You should be grateful you have a job and understand the value of what you do to serve other people when you have that job."</p>
<p>I've been thinking about Karen's attitude and my own. I have not been grateful for my job lately. I've been angry I have been overlooked and underappreciated rather than thanking God I have the daily gift of influencing the life of a student.</p>
<p>I am grateful I was present to see the surprised expression when my friend and co-worker won the Teacher of the Year award tonight. She deserves it. She's been a better teacher this year. She's had bigger projects and special assignments. She's designed seasonal bulletin boards and locker pendants. She's planned extra activities - things I am not willing to do because it will detract from my family. My friend is a single lady who is using this season of life wisely. She knows a family will be her priority one day.</p>
<p>I am baking a celebratory cake to take to the teacher's lounge tomorrow. Thanks for sharing Karen's story. Her life will continue to influence more people than we will ever know.</p>
<p>Brooke</p>
Staff
2012-05-17T22:33:00Z
Our Dinner Table Conversations
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-Dinner-Table-Conversations/973701803137415387.html
2012-05-17T22:30:00Z
2012-05-17T22:30:00Z
<p>Growing up we always had dinner as a family. It wasn't always easy. Dad worked four 10-hour shifts, an hour away, so his day started around 5:30 am and he often didn't get home until after 6pm. And my younger sister and 2 younger brothers and I had our own activities that threatened to interfere, from sports to jobs to friends and other "kid" stuff.</p>
<p>Even so, dinner was a safe place where we could (and did) talk about anything. If friends came over for dinner they were shocked by our candid conversations. It was not unusual for topics to include the standard fair of school, work, homework, girls (in the case of me and my brothers), boys (for my sister), pus, mucus, barf and other bodily functions, even questions about sex were allowed and even encouraged. Dinner sometimes devolved into a contest at who could be the straw that finally grossed out Mom or Dad.</p>
<p>Life often comes full circle, I have 4 children of my own now (2 boys and 2 girls) and, due to my unfortunate, pending divorce, we now live with Mom and Dad again. The economy has also required one of my brothers, his wife and their 4 kids join us. If you add it up, there are 13 of us living under one roof. Dad still works the same shift, but we still have dinner, together, every night. It can get rowdy, but I wouldn't have it any other way.</p>
<p>Joshua</p>
Staff
2012-05-17T22:30:00Z
I Didn't Choose Wisely, But I Got Lucky
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Didnt-Choose-Wisely,-But-I-Got-Lucky/-810946615975556065.html
2012-05-16T22:05:00Z
2012-05-16T22:05:00Z
<p>I did not choose wisely, however I did get lucky. I married when I was 18 after dating my husband from the middle of my freshman year throughout the remainder of high-school. In hind-sight, I think I was clinging to him for stability. Sure over that time I had come to love him and trust him as much as any 18 year old can. However, we had no idea how life would change and mold us.</p>
<p>When we married we both SAID we wanted children. But we grew up and in doing so found we DIDN'T both want exactly the same things out of life, children being the biggest difference. That said, we were committed to one another and took that very seriously. After 13 years of marriage, I was ready to start a family. Period. Ultimately, my husband convinced me he had a change of heart and wanted to have a baby. I allowed myself to be convinced for obviously selfish reasons. My pregnancy was perfect medically speaking but brutal emotionally. My husband, friends and co-workers would tell you I was a very happy pregnant woman. But my husband was unhappy, stressed, resentful and took it out on me verbally. It was a difficult 9 months. Although, he was and is a very loving, attentive and involved dad, his behavior toward me continued for about the first year of our child's life.</p>
<p>Finally, when it got to a breaking point and I offered him an "out" he realized what he was doing. Although it was ultimately his decision, he blamed me for this new burden and responsibility in his life. A man who was known for his sensitivity, generosity and kindness had become unbelievably selfish. But he took responsibility for his actions and I began to change in how I responded to his negativity. Rather than lash back I would try to do or say things to soothe him. I treated kindly. This worked. You see, ultimately I married a GOOD MAN!</p>
<p>We have now been married for 18 years. Our daughter is almost 5 years old. Our marriage has survived this very difficult hurdle, but not without scars. My husband has come around and no longer seems to be resentful of the added responsibility that is inherent with parenthood. He is very kind and loving, he is our kid's father and my boyfriend and I am our daughter's mom and his girlfriend. We both tell each other AND show each other often, how much we love and value one another.</p>
<p>But still, we've learned a valuable lesson about marrying too young and would ultimately advise against it. At that age, you just don't know what you don't know. I say I didn't choose wisely because I simply didn't know enough to consider what to look for in a husband. Let's face it, when we started dating in high-school I was NOT in search of a husband, I just wanted someone to hang out with and take me to an occasional movie. But I did get lucky because he has risen to ALL the challenges we have been faced with.<br /><br />Christina</p>
Staff
2012-05-16T22:05:00Z
Divorce: Amputation and Declaration of War
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Divorce:-Amputation-and-Declaration-of-War/-412050501287307813.html
2012-05-16T22:02:00Z
2012-05-16T22:02:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I did not choose wisely. It was a long distance engagement where I saw him once or twice a month until our wedding day. Had we been in the same town, dating, planning our wedding and our marriage I would have seen the red flags that began to appear on our honeymoon and continued throughout the marriage. In the 60's if you "made your bed, you were supposed to lie in it." He was not a "bad" person, but was very critical of me (told me he would never allow himself to be "c### whipped" which as a naive star-crossed 24-year-old I did not even know what it meant), and never wanted to do anything with me. After 29 years, when our children were raised, educated, on their own and dating the people they eventually married, I left. He was okay with the divorce but fought the alimony and splitting of the assets. I found out when a woman files for divorce the man sees it as a "declaration of war" and calls in the army to help fight. It has been eighteen years now, living alone, free of horrible nightmares, severe headaches, skin rashes, and stress. I would like to have a man in my life but dating after age 50 is a new set of circumstances (most want to shack-up and there are plenty of desperate women who will) but the character is the same. Now I am off topic so I will close by saying that "I would rather be alone than wish I were."</p>
<p>I began listening to you when I lived in Southern California. I moved to South Dakota 18 years ago and gave myself an XM radio for my birthday so I could continue listening to you. I love your show and the advice you give. It is right on the mark. May good health continue to be yours.</p>
<p>Thank You,</p>
<p>L. (I am now 71 and life is great)</p>
Staff
2012-05-16T22:02:00Z
Brainwash Your Children - Because They Are Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Brainwash-Your-Children---Because-They-Are-Children/-33760225402833420.html
2012-05-15T22:09:00Z
2012-05-15T22:09:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>Here is a portion of my mother's day card from my recently married adult daughter: <em>"Thank you for always being there for me, even when I'm far away. I miss you a lot, and think about you everyday-and how thankful I am to have had you as my mom. It's crazy how many things I say or do and then realize it's because you've brainwashed me! Haha!"</em></p>
<p>I did intentionally brainwash my kids after hearing you talk about that many years ago. Every t.v. show or movie we watched, I would comment on what was appropriate (not much) and why it was or wasn't. It sometimes was uncomfortable to mention things I wanted to let slide. But I loved them too much to stay comfortable.</p>
<p>My son is now a police officer. My daughter is starting a life with her new husband. Neither are drug-addicts, immoral beings, or burdens to society. If I had let popular culture brainwash them without my counterpoints, I fear what kind of people they would be.</p>
<p>Please remind your listeners no t.v.s or computers should be in their kid's room. This is one main way our kids are being brainwashed into being dishonorable beings. We need to continually be a voice in teaching our children.</p>
<p>Being silent is usually the loudest voice of all, shouting, "It doesn't matter," or "You don't matter." Everything should matter to a parent, especially their children.</p>
<p>Thank you. Thank you. Thank you,</p>
<p>Melissa</p>
Staff
2012-05-15T22:09:00Z
Do the Right Thing Anyway
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Do-the-Right-Thing-Anyway/454764239712749145.html
2012-05-15T22:05:00Z
2012-05-15T22:05:00Z
<p>I was reminded of this quote by Mother Teresa when you were talking to the mom who was upset because her stepdaughter was graduating and the maternal grandma chose to go to a wedding instead. God Bless that mom for holding all 4 of her daughters equally in her heart. I had a sweet step dad who was Victorian and not very demonstrative, but I felt he loved me and my life would have been so awful without him. He gave up a lot to take care of us and I will always be grateful for it. I have been a teacher and child advocate most of my adult life because I needed a champion as a child and he stepped up. - Penny</p>
<p>Here is the quote:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>"People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered: Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives: Be kind anyway. What you spend years creating others could destroy overnight: Create anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous: Be happy anyway. The good you do today, will often be forgotten: Do good anyway. Give the best you have, and it may never be enough: Give your best anyway. In the final analysis, it is between you and God: It was never between you and them anyway."</p>
<p>- Mother Teresa</p>
</blockquote>
Staff
2012-05-15T22:05:00Z
Why God Made Moms
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-God-Made-Moms/-828870296587184655.html
2012-05-14T21:16:00Z
2012-05-14T21:16:00Z
<p>This was sent in from Marie. Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:</p>
<p><strong>Why did God make mothers?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.</li>
<li>Mostly to clean the house..</li>
<li>To help us out of there when we were getting born.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>How did God make mothers?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.</li>
<li>Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.</li>
<li>God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>What ingredients are mothers made of?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.</li>
<li>They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>We're related.</li>
<li>God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>What kind of a little girl was your mom?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.</li>
<li>I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.</li>
<li>They say she used to be nice.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>What did Mom need to know about Dad before she married him?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>His last name.</li>
<li>She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?</li>
<li>Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>Why did your mom marry your dad?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.</li>
<li>She got too old to do anything else with him.</li>
<li>My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>Who's the boss at your house?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because Dad's such a goof ball.</li>
<li>Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.</li>
<li>I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>What's the difference between moms and dads?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them..</li>
<li>Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.</li>
<li>Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>What does your mom do in her spare time?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>Mothers don't do spare time.</li>
<li>To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>What would it take to make your mom perfect?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.</li>
<li>Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.</li>
</ol>
<p><br /><strong>If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?</strong></p>
<ol>
<li>She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.</li>
<li>I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.</li>
<li>I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.</li>
</ol>
Staff
2012-05-14T21:16:00Z
Comparing Myself to Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Comparing-Myself-to-Me/753636476172377931.html
2012-05-14T21:13:00Z
2012-05-14T21:13:00Z
<p>I started thinking about your question, "As an adult, who do you compare yourself to? Why, and how do you measure up?"</p>
<p>I compare myself to me as I was yesterday:</p>
<ul>
<li>Am I a better person than the day before and what can I do to be a better person today?</li>
<li>How can I better provide for my wife and sons physical, spiritual, and emotional needs?</li>
<li>How can I make someone smile? Is there someone in my daily experience that needs my help?</li>
</ul>
<p>I measure just up because I try. As long as I keep trying to do better tomorrow I will always measure up. Sounds corny, I know, but this works for me.</p>
<p>Vic</p>
Staff
2012-05-14T21:13:00Z
Bad TIME for the Breast Feeding Boy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bad-TIME-for-the-Breast-Feeding-Boy/902222038944467626.html
2012-05-11T22:22:00Z
2012-05-11T22:22:00Z
<p>Dear breastfeeding boy on the cover of TIME,</p>
<p>I am sorry.</p>
<p>I am sorry a well-known and once respected magazine took advantage of you. Instead of helping the cause of breastfeeding by showing a loving mother engaged in "extended breastfeeding" and "attachment parenting" you were placed on a stool under the lights in order to sell magazines. While your mother adjusted her tank top, and editors came up with the inflammatory title, "Are you Mom enough?"</p>
<p>I am sorry your mother did not think about your future self when she was putting on her skinny jeans.</p>
<p>Yes, you are almost four - old to be breastfeeding, but still so young. Not old enough to know this picture will never go away. Ever. You cannot tear it up, burn it or feed it to your dog. It cannot be tucked privately into your family photos and placed on your shelf.</p>
<p>I am sorry we are all talking about you, writing about you, forwarding pictures of you.</p>
<p>I am sorry adults consider their children's lives to be their own material. And they do not realize how dangerous our world really is. People forget, or do not know, how pedophiles take things out of context and use them for their own twisted gain. How there are no boundaries and everything is fair game. I am sorry you will never know the world that I grew up in: before Facebook, iPhones and the Internet.</p>
<p>Maybe there are men out there who wish they had a similar photo of their younger selves with their mothers. If this is so, I hope you end up being one of them.</p>
<p>I really do.</p>
<p><br />This is my latest <a href="http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/05101to-the-boy-breastfeeding-on-the-cover-of-time/" target="_blank">BabyCenter Blog </a>post. Just wanted to share, Dr. Laura.</p>
<p>May</p>
Staff
2012-05-11T22:22:00Z
What I Learned from My First Job
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-I-Learned-from-My-First-Job/966193021813913709.html
2012-05-11T22:18:00Z
2012-05-11T22:18:00Z
<p>This week in the <a href="http://www.dat-e-baseonline.com/front/deb.asp?Action=reg&zx=126">Daily Dose</a>, Dr. Laura asked, "What was your first job, and what did you learn from it?" We received numerous responses - some endearing, some insightful, and others just plain amusing. Here are just a few...</p>
<p><br /><strong>From Georgia:</strong><br /> <br />My kids definitely fit into the outline of today's show about youth and their excuse-making about not being able to work for this reason or that. I was anxious to get a first job as soon as I was legally able (15). I worked at a grocery store, then a florist shop, then a restaurant, then a flower farm. Besides the money, I learned to keep a schedule, be dependable, be conscientious, be creative, be appreciate days off, be easy to work with, and most of all, I learned about all these different types of industries and the time and energy it took to be a successful business owner. I also learned that bosses don't want to hear excuses. Also, I learned that you have to check your problems at the door and focus on the customers...it wasn't about me the minute I clocked in. I have two teenagers, both working age. My son, 17, is convinced that he doesn't have time for a job because of all his Advanced Placement classes. He and his teachers have convinced him that he's actually helping me by not working because he could get a full ride scholarship somewhere. I don't agree. I try to undo this logic everyday when he asks me for money for this or that by telling him he needs to get a job. I believe that having a part-time job while in high school should be required for graduation. Thanks for all you do Dr. Laura!</p>
<p><br /><strong>Shirley's response:</strong> </p>
<p>At the age of 82, I look back with pride that my first summer job at age 14 was delivering food trays to patients at our local hospital. My next summer job at age 15 was working at Woolworth's. At age 16, I worked as an office file clerk after graduating from high school. There were only 11 grades, seven years in elementary and four years of high school. Marriage and raising kids when wives stayed home and husbands went off to work was a wonderful memory for me, unfortunately, I became a widow at age 36 with two children. From then on, working outside the home became a necessity. Needless to say, each of my two children also had a strong work ethic, worked hard through college, and today have wonderful jobs. I believe that the work ethic for any child should start at an early age.</p>
<p> <br /><strong>Kim recalls:</strong></p>
<p>I was just shy of 16 and went into an area grocery store to ask for an application. They said, "Come back in two weeks," so I did. It was for a courtesy clerk position and although it was not a glamorous job, it paid better than any other start-out job. I had done my research! I learned a TON from working and being accountable to society and learned to budget money and paid for things like my first car and repairs and insurance. I learned that sometimes I would be missing social events because "I had to work." I had to get uncomfortable at times and stand up for myself, and also ask for time off or cooperate with others and trade shifts. This is something you cannot just tell kids to be. You have to walk through it to get the character building life lessons. I have three children and they see friends get everything handed to them so it is becoming difficult to explain why that is not good for them in the long run but I hold my ground and expect them to earn things, and I am willing to "help out" but only when I see mutual participation in what they want and need in their lives.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Fiona writes:</strong></p>
<p>My first job was at a donut shop. I was 15 and my mother had to sign a paper saying it was OK for me to go to work. We waited on customers of course, but we also had to learn to glaze, powder, fill etc. the donuts after the baker made them. I earned $1.65 an hour and there was a big sign on the wall that said "no tipping." Pooling tips was unheard of back then.</p>
<p>We worked our backsides off! During our busy times, people were 3 deep (and cranky) at the counter. That was 40 years ago. I think hard work has an intrinsic value to the human spirit. It doesn't matter so much what you are doing but that you work hard, do the best job you can, and be grateful that you have the ability (and opportunity) to do so. Yes, it really does build character!</p>
<p><br /><strong>Nita reminisces:</strong></p>
<p>My first summer job as a youth in Ohio was riding in back of a covered pickup truck with shorts, halter and lunch sack, and several other young teens with high aspirations of having summer spending money! There were about 2 dozen of us per truck and we were transported about 20-30 minutes away, depending upon facility to detassel hybrid corn by hand in the hot summer sun every weekday early in the morning - 7 am until about 3 pm in the afternoon! After a long day, hot and sweaty, tired and hungry, we headed home with the knowledge that working hard would bring us much-desired rewards in the end. I did this for two summers and will never forget the overall positive experiences I gained. We learned to deal with many kinds of people, including supervisors who kept us on schedule and feeling accomplished.</p>
Staff
2012-05-11T22:18:00Z
The Value of First Jobs
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Value-of-First-Jobs/-42965071706360409.html
2012-05-10T23:54:00Z
2012-05-10T23:54:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I owe my father so much in getting me started in working. As a pre-teen, I started out with 4 grass-cutting jobs for neighbors. Not just pushing a lawn mower, doing the edging too. $5 per lawn was good money back then.</p>
<p>I did not throw my money around, I saved it, but once I hit 13, my father thought I should try making more money (I had a lot of idle time between grass cutting jobs in the spring-fall). In his childhood days he had been a caddy and he literally dragged me to the private golf course (in town) that he had worked at.</p>
<p>He only needed to get me up there 1 time. I took it from there. While in school, I would caddy on weekends. On holidays and summer break, I caddied Tuesday-Friday. The course was closed on Monday, so I would play golf on that course with friends on Monday. 4 hours carrying 2 heavy golf bags day after day. Sometimes I would go 2 rounds in one day.</p>
<p>I loved it and stayed with it until I turned 19. I then applied to work on the course as a greens keeper. More steady work, but still hard work in the great outdoors. I commuted from Seton Hall and would work in the afternoons after classes until it got dark (cutting grass, raking traps and leaves, pruning trees, etc). One semester I was able to schedule my classes so that I had Tuesday and Thursday off. I would work 8 hour days at the golf course on those days. During the spring/summer, this was a 7 day/week job. Monday-Friday it was 7am-3pm. Saturday and Sunday was 6am to 10am.</p>
<p>The takeaways from this experience were a dedication to going to work (I am now a Tax Manager). I hate to miss a day and often work thru sicknesses. The other takeaway is that I truly enjoy my scheduled time away from work.</p>
<p>Absolutely no question finding work, good, hard, paying work as a child builds a strong work ethic as an adult.</p>
<p>Bob</p>
Staff
2012-05-10T23:54:00Z
A Lost Courtesy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Lost-Courtesy/-706995653781432610.html
2012-05-10T23:51:00Z
2012-05-10T23:51:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>On your show yesterday you asked a caller to "name three children who write thank you notes." I can name two: My children.</p>
<p>Thank you notes were very important in my house growing up and I actually enjoyed writing them. I have instilled this in my own children. I have always explained to them people want to be thanked for their gifts and they should never just expect presents. Many people also spend their precious time picking out gifts and being thankful for that is so very important.</p>
<p>I have come up against some criticism from my husband's family for this. My mother-in-law actually told me NOT to send thank you notes because as I was told, "we do not do that in our family". My response was she would continue to receive them because we do send thank you notes in our family. I did notice we started to receive thank you notes every once in awhile from my father-in-law and sometimes from nieces and nephews.</p>
<p>Regardless, the best lesson was learned when a co-worker offered their Yankee seats to my family one night as they were a season ticket holder and couldn't use them. I took the tickets because my daughter, about 8 at the time was a huge fan and had never been to a game. After the game I had her write a heartfelt thank you note. I had her tell the gentlemen what she loved about the stadium and how much going to the game meant to her. She wrote a beautiful note telling him about how she saw Alex Rodriguez, her favorite Yankee hit a homerun. She also drew an adorable picture. Off the note went. About two weeks later a package arrived for her. Inside was an autographed Alex Rodriquez picture and some candy and microwave popcorn for my daughter to eat while watching the upcoming playoff games. This man was so impressed by her letter he actually purchased the picture and then went to a game early to get the autograph for her and then framed it. My daughter really learned how much people like to be appreciated for what they do for others. Of course, another thank you note was quickly sent.</p>
<p>And I never have to ask her twice to send one to anyone.</p>
<p>Regards,</p>
<p>Kathy</p>
Staff
2012-05-10T23:51:00Z
Another Man's View of Sex
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Another-Mans-View-of-Sex/-49594076251546356.html
2012-05-09T19:38:00Z
2012-05-09T19:38:00Z
<p>Like many of your followers, <a href="/b/How-Men-See-Love-and-Sex/500031920224810546.html">Carl's letter</a> caught my attention also. Having read "lots" of literature over the past 6 years through my marital struggles, I have yet to read how sex - all parts of it, or lack of it - affects a man emotionally. In contrast, there are a plethora of instructions for men and the emotional preparation of their woman in order to have her be "willing" to have sex with him.</p>
<p>Maybe I am more emotional than most men out there, but I see very little written for women to help them understand that the sexual act and all aspects of it have a tremendous emotional impact on men.</p>
<p>As you pointed out in your blog which Carl quotes, it centers around total acceptance. What could be more emotionally devastating than to be rejected by your spouse? How about the "OK, you can have it as I lay here" attitude? Or the impact of being tolerated vs. loved; or the concept that I must be a horrible lover tonight; or not being willing to discuss or experiment with our sex life in order to keep this relationship with the same spark as it started. All this also snuffs out the bond that sex builds and maintains...</p>
<p>None of these make a man feel good inside. So when we feel rejected, inadequate, unloved... is it any wonder we are unhappy, depressed, filled with despair, while living with our clueless mates? (My wife continues to refuse to read your book(s) unfortunately)</p>
<p>Sex in and of itself isn't everything, but the emotions it generates in a man can make or break the relationship!</p>
<p>J.</p>
Staff
2012-05-09T19:38:00Z
A New Mental Illness to Consider
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-New-Mental-Illness-to-Consider/145085371273296486.html
2012-05-09T19:37:00Z
2012-05-09T19:37:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Wanted to share this quickie with you.</p>
<p>You won't see this ailment in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders 5th edition (DSM-5): P.C.T.C.D.</p>
<p>I am a therapist and I had a client bemoaning about his ailments of how hard his life is when in actuality... he's just being lazy. Here's an infomercial I created in my head Billy Crystal style while contemplating my response to him.</p>
<p>====<br />Attention Sufferers! Does your 20 to 30 year old refuse to move out of the house? Or do they want to move back in?</p>
<p>They may be suffering from P.C.T.C.D.<br />(Parental-Couch-Too-Comfy-Disorder)</p>
<p>Often, P.C.T.C.D. sufferers respond to a clinical trial of long term J.O.B. therapy. J.O.B. therapy has been proven to reduce P.C.T.C.D. symptoms when applied 5 days a week for 6 to 8 hours per day with a maintained use until age 65.<br />====</p>
<p>Doubt I'll be able to get PCTCD in the DSM 5.</p>
<p>I love your show. Thanks for letting me listen!</p>
<p>Dave</p>
Staff
2012-05-09T19:37:00Z
The Lengths Some People Will Go to Sabotage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Lengths-Some-People-Will-Go-to-Sabotage/-444221680294757916.html
2012-05-08T21:21:00Z
2012-05-08T21:21:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>A few years ago, I had to constantly deal with a bad apple in the workplace. This was before I earned the responsibility of manager/supervisor, only acting as a mere "lead admin" (which may have saved my job in the end, but I'll get to that).</p>
<p>While still acting as lead admin, this employee had at one point brought to my attention something that made her feel uncomfortable. The person for whom she assisted asked her to get a phone number out of his desk drawer for the purpose of emailing it to him since he was away from the office. While rummaging through that drawer she came upon some lady photos she didn't much appreciate. She wanted me to know about it and be aware she felt "uncomfortable," but told me several times she wanted nobody else to know about this, despite my offers and efforts to open an investigation and help. I was only 23 and not yet aware of the laws regarding these situations. In her previous management experience, she was.</p>
<p>Flash forward about 6 months and I'm now her manager. For months this employee was always taking off of work without much notice, coming in late, leaving early, carrying a poor attitude and making it more than clear she didn't want to have to answer to anybody except for herself. The particular ballpoint pens I ordered for her even became a sore spot - I could do nothing right. Most of the time I exhibited understanding with her complaints and I empathized with her, given that she described a terrible home environment with her husband. I gave her quite enough leeway for that reason. But after one too many instances of "I'm heading out of town for a week, I just need to get away," my boss and I decided that with personal problems or not, it was finally time for us to let her go and seek a replacement.</p>
<p>On day 5 of her absence while papers were drawn up and the final check was ready to go (and she was fully aware of what this had come to), this employee made a phone call to our corporate office human resources. She explained, "A few months ago something happened that made me feel really uncomfortable. I went to _______ for help because I felt sexually harassed, and she did nothing for me."</p>
<p>Needless to say, her employment was reinstated and she continued to work for me for far too long afterward. The part where my title saved me in the end? I wasn't a "manager" yet when she first came to me, and I therefore was unaware of my duties and responsibility to report EVERYTHING... no matter what.</p>
<p>This saga is long gone and over, but taught me so much about the lengths people will go to protect their livelihood and the sabotaging ways people will fight to win.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for everything you do, you've changed my life for many years now!</p>
<p>Kristen</p>
Staff
2012-05-08T21:21:00Z
Parents Take Charge!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parents-Take-Charge!/921190878750579753.html
2012-05-08T21:17:00Z
2012-05-08T21:17:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I would like to share a suggestion to the Father with concerns about over-correcting by taking away computer time. My four kids (13y-g, 10y-b, 8y-b, 6y-b) and I are attending therapy. Of all horrible things in the world, their biggest complaint about MOM was I take them out to do FUN STUFF instead of allowing them unlimited Playstation time. My 8yr old even shed some tears. At the moment I felt CRUSHED to hear all these complaints of what a horrible mommy I was. So, my mommy wheels are always turning... I MADE A NEGATIVE INTO A POSITIVE. I said, Ok I hear you, and your frustrations about THE LACK OF TIME on the Playstation, so from now on, you will earn your Playstation time. There is a posted list in the living room, of daily kiddie chores (like you suggested for the caller) that need to be done. Before bed, if all chores are done they will be compensated w/a 30 min voucher. Any additional chores done without me asking may earn each child, 10-15 min vouchers. I printed check-like looking slips of paper, and so I get my "checkbook" out and they get compensated with WEEKEND VOUCHERS for Playstation time.</p>
<p>EVERYONE complains about kids feeling they are owed material stuff, or being ungrateful, well... Mommies stop your whining, tighten up your mommy apron, and take charge! Seems like parents now days are afraid to hurt their kids' feelings, but they forget kids need to learn lessons at their young age.</p>
<p>Thank you for your show, I am THE MEAN MOMMY to my four kids, in Northern Santa Barbara County!!!</p>
<p>Z.</p>
Staff
2012-05-08T21:17:00Z
Sarah May Be My Long Lost Sister
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sarah-May-Be-My-Long-Lost-Sister/634582942676392831.html
2012-05-07T22:10:00Z
2012-05-07T22:10:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura (a.k.a. Mama Laura),</p>
<p>The <a href="/pg/jsp/charts/audioMaster.jsp?dispid=306&pid=88469">call from Sarah</a> who often wishes (now hopefully wished) she never had children really resonated with me.</p>
<p>I wouldn't label my mother a psychopath, but I would accurately describe her as self-centered and selfish. The only praise my biological sister and I received from her was our good grades because her friends would literally say, "How did you guys turn out so good with a mother like her?"</p>
<p>Nice friends, huh?</p>
<p>My mother also gambled away our family finances so there was always something to be desired when it came to my sister's and my needs. Our NEEDS! Growing up I remember my friends teasing me because I would come to school with holes in my clothes.</p>
<p>My mother also pretty much stopped being a mother when my older sister entered high school and I was still in middle school. To this day my mother will defend that decision with my sister and I were old enough to raise ourselves. She was off for many weeks at time gambling away my father's hard-earned living.</p>
<p>Now fast forward over a decade and I have an 18-month-old. Right after he was born - when it was easier because he slept all day - I adored him. Now that he's at the stage of constantly pushing and testing my husband and me, I, too, often think how I wish I hadn't had kids yet.</p>
<p>I know in my heart it's because right now it's hard and some of my mother's neglect and laziness is coming through, but the thoughts still come.</p>
<p>When I read the description of Sarah's call of the day my breath caught in my throat and I almost didn't listen to it out of fear. But I'm glad I did because you basically stated that Sarah (and I) feels what she is doing is not valuable because Sarah (and I) did not feel valuable.</p>
<p>You basically said every morning when Sarah (and I) gets up to compliment ourselves for the wonderful deed we're doing. You also told Sarah (and me) to look at her child and you asked her (and me) if she really couldn't live with that.</p>
<p>That was the point in the call where I started to cry because there was no way in hell I could be without my son.</p>
<p>Thanks for shining the light on how important and valuable motherhood is, despite the lack of the example in our own homes!</p>
<p>You are Mama Laura!</p>
<p>Katherine</p>
Staff
2012-05-07T22:10:00Z
The Most Important Decision I Made
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Most-Important-Decision-I-Made/862026288406982724.html
2012-05-07T21:52:00Z
2012-05-07T21:52:00Z
<p>I have been a stay-at-home mom for the last 11 years. I had a good prestigious job at a prestigious institution. My husband and I had decided when the baby arrived I would quit my job. That is exactly what I did. This was the most important decision I made and I don't have an ounce of regret. My husband and I both agreed no day care provider would be able to provide the love and care I could give to our daughter.</p>
<p>My daughter is in middle school now but everyone sees the difference it has made in her personality and her level of self confidence. She is the best student in her class and is liked by her teachers. I have given her all the attention I could and tried to raise her with the best religious and moral values. Yes, we have less money to spend but neither my husband nor I are materialistic. We are teaching our daughter to also be less materialistic and more spiritual.</p>
<p>I know sometimes necessity drives women to leave their children in day care, but it really boggles my mind when women go to work and leave their children in the care of others because they want to fulfill their own desires. I was taken by surprise and sadness when I heard the story of one of my friends' sister-in-law who has two nannies to take care of her twins - one during the day when she is at work and one for the night when she needs her sleep. So why did she have these children?</p>
<p>I am very glad God has provided me the opportunity to be with my daughter and see her grow into a beautiful, confident, God-fearing young lady. No amount of money in the world can substitute for the treasure I have.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, for always standing for the right thing.</p>
<p>S.</p>
Staff
2012-05-07T21:52:00Z
Benefits of Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Benefits-of-Marriage/-130529391551066878.html
2012-05-04T21:01:00Z
2012-05-04T21:01:00Z
<p>I am 27 and live in Los Angeles. Many of the people who I encounter that are my age say they don't believe in marriage, or they are indifferent about marriage. My husband's friends from college are all in their 30s and shacking up, some for 7+ years.</p>
<p>Upon getting married we immediately got backlash from some of those feminestas acquaintances with lines such as "I would NEVER share a bank account with a MAN" or "In my opinion you guys moved way too fast" (we dated for 1.5 years) or "I don't see the difference between what you have and what I and my boyfriend (ahem shack-up honey) have."</p>
<p>I can tell by their defensiveness and hostility that of course they see the difference. My husband adores me. He gave me a diamond ring, and promised to take care of me forever before he knew if I was good in bed. We said "I do," and then had sex. (What a concept, right?) He put me through graduate school and supported me 100%, even knowing when we have children, I will stay home and raise our kids.</p>
<p>Unlike these shack-ups, if anything were to happen to my boyfriend/husband, I am protected by having the legal status as his wife. There is no stability in shack-up situations, no rules and women are treated with a complete lack of respect (though I can't really blame the men since the women aren't demanding respect).</p>
<p>Marriage has changed my life for the better because I married a REAL MAN who tells me daily, "I will do anything to make you happy." I live my life striving to do the same for him.</p>
<p>I truly pity the people my age who see no value in this. Deep down I think they know what they're missing, but by admitting it, they would have to reject everything they've ever learned from public school, their parents, TV shows, and society today. I hope they'll wake up soon and start rejecting society's warped view of marriage, lest I fear my generation's future.</p>
<p>Natalie</p>
Staff
2012-05-04T21:01:00Z
Our Marriage Adventure
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Our-Marriage-Adventure/-171758312371757259.html
2012-05-04T20:58:00Z
2012-05-04T20:58:00Z
<p>Just this morning at the beauty shop some young girls were talking about not wanting to marry, being pressured by mothers to marry, or not wanting children. They all said, "I'm too young to get married." They were aghast when I said I was married at 19. They asked how long I had been married and I answered 52 years. They appeared to be looking at a dinosaur.</p>
<p>I said, it doesn't matter how old you are, when you find your soul mate that is when you marry. I found mine while he was in medical school and I was a student nurse. We shared common values of religion, politics and economics. We both wanted children. We shared a common love of classical music and loved performing the same. We loved opera. Our first date was to see Van Cliburn play at the Grant Park Band Shell on his triumphant concert tour after becoming the first American to win the International Tchaikovsky Piano Competition in Moscow. I still remember the thrill of that performance. We laughed together. We finished each other's sentences. We knew what the other was thinking. And we truly cared about each other. We worked together. We complimented each other. We respected each other. We were ready to face the world together, and what an adventure we have had.</p>
<p>After living a long time now, I realize marriage is not for everyone. But, for those who are blessed with a good marriage, I can wish you no greater comfort or joy. After 52 years, we are still "having an Adventure!"</p>
<p>Vicki</p>
Staff
2012-05-04T20:58:00Z
Comparing Myself to Others
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Comparing-Myself-to-Others/-117606147058707309.html
2012-05-03T19:44:00Z
2012-05-03T19:44:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I think your topic about comparing yourself to others is great. I think we all do it, and it's very difficult to avoid. It can certainly be destructive. Envy is not one of the deadly sins for no reason. Coveting other people's spouses or possessions has certainly led to the downfall of many. I am constantly on the watch for that type of thing in my life. I don't want to fall into that trap.</p>
<p>I do think there can be a positive side of this. If you know someone who has something great going for them, it's natural to compare yourself. But if you're coming up short, being envious and petty is not how to handle it. If you can figure out what they are doing which caused them to have such a great situation, you can earn that for yourself.</p>
<p>I get told all the time it's unfair to judge the marriages of the people around me as compared to mine. To a certain extent that is true. But sometimes that statement annoys me. My husband and I are an unusually good match. I think it's rare to find a partner who clicks as well as my husband and I do. The thing is, I am as female as the next woman. There are days where I want to be snotty just because I feel like it. The difference is I choose not to do it (and when I do, I apologize and try to avoid it in the future). We don't agree on everything, and we have habits that annoy each other. The difference between my marriage, and the marriage of many of my friends, is we CHOOSE NOT TO FIGHT. It's a choice every single day that we are not going to make each other's lives hell for the sake of saying we "won". When you alienate your spouse, you didn't win any damn thing, in fact, you lost more than your spouse did.</p>
<p>Instead of saying my husband and I are unnaturally in sync with each other, if more people asked "How do you guys get along so well?" - they would see how they too could get along. When I find someone with an attribute I admire, I do compare myself. When I come up short, as I often do, I try to figure out what they are doing that gave them the attribute. Then I do the WORK to earn the right to call that quality mine. None of the people we look up to got where they are without work. They all had to decide what they wanted to be and work hard to get there. The only good reason to ever compare ourselves to someone, is when we are willing to do the work to change ourselves for the better. Otherwise, it's just a form of torture.</p>
<p>Kristy</p>
Staff
2012-05-03T19:44:00Z
I Have Two 'Karens' in My Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Have-Two-Karens-in-My-Life/591049499712016054.html
2012-05-03T19:40:00Z
2012-05-03T19:40:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>This is in response to your <a href="/b/My-Final-Visit-With-My-Friend-Karen/-695400273245689281.html">blog about your friend Karen</a>. I've been blessed to have had two Karen's in my life. They were sisters. One is my mom; the other was my Aunt Ruthie. I was 15 when our family lost our darling Aunt Ruth to colon cancer, which she'd bravely battled for 8 years. She was the epitome of love, grace, kindness... Days before she passed, my brother brought his girlfriend to the hospital to meet her. She was dying, yet Aunt Ruthie insisted on getting out of bed to meet who would turn out to be my future sister-in-law and give her a hug. As she shrunk in size, lost her hair, endured brutal chemo and radiation therapy, I NEVER ONCE saw her without a loving twinkle in her eye and a big smile on her face. Not once did my mother hear her complain. We lost her in 1984, and to this day, my brothers and I get tears in our eyes when we talk about Aunt Ruth. She made a tremendous impact on our young lives.</p>
<p>Our own mother is VERY much like her older sister. I've never met a person who didn't absolutely fall in love with her after meeting her. She's one of those people that when you are in her presence, you just feel loved. I'm amazed every day by what a beautiful person she is, and Dr. Laura, she instilled the same wifely values in me that you stress to your audience. One of the things I've come to rely on her though, is her honesty. She's incredibly wise, and does not take DNA sides - she tells me if my husband is right, and I'm acting like a brat. I am so thankful for her, and with Mother's Day coming up, hearing you speak of your pending loss, I wanted to share.</p>
<p>Thanks for all you do.</p>
<p>Julie</p>
Staff
2012-05-03T19:40:00Z
The Aftermath of Lying
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Aftermath-of-Lying/851406936787776329.html
2012-05-02T20:36:00Z
2012-05-02T20:36:00Z
<p>In Dr. Laura's Daily Dose, she asked, "What's the biggest whopper of a lie you told as a kid? What were the consequences?" Here are some of your responses:</p>
<p><br /><strong>Ashley:</strong><br />The biggest lie I ever told would be when I was 16 years old. My parents divorced when I was 4. At 16, I finally moved away from my mom and in with my dad. My mother had an abusive boyfriend who was constantly cheating on her. She caught him red-handed several times but was completely blind to it.</p>
<p>After a few weeks of living with my dad, my mother found a condom wrapper under her couch. Refusing to believe her boyfriend could possibly do something like that, she called my dad. He yelled at me for what seemed like hours, refusing to hear me out. He kept jumping at and away from me like he was trying to stop himself from seriously hurting me. Scared to death, I finally did what he wanted: lied and told him it was mine. He kept asking me questions and I had to keep making up more lies. As soon as one of my lies wasn't as believable as he wanted, he start yelling and cursing and trying not to hit me.</p>
<p>For years, all of my family believed I was "that type" of girl. Not a day went by I wasn't harassed somehow by my friends or family (they made sure every one of my friends knew). When I turned 18, my now-husband came to stay with us, and I eventually married and had children with him. He was my first and only.</p>
<p>When I was about 21, I finally told my husband the truth. Afterwards, I told my dad, but he continues to make horrible remarks, which leads me to believe he doesn't believe me.</p>
<p>My husband and I had serious issues because I was his first, and he thought I had been with many men at the age of 16. It was wonderful for him to find out the truth, but because he found out five years later, he (rightfully so) didn't trust me for a long time after learning the truth. This was all because my parents didn't want to believe me.</p>
<p>It seems parents not only can't recognize the lies, but they refuse to acknowledge the truth.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Mary:</strong><br />When I was about 10, I told my mom I was sick and didn't think I should go to school. So she gave me the thermometer to check for a temperature. I took it into the bathroom and ran it under hot water - but to my surprise it got so hot the mercury expanded and it broke. Nothing needed to be said - I had to go to school. HA!</p>
<p><br /><strong>Roger:</strong><br />When I was about 4 years, I accidentally smashed a window, possibly in a shed, with a ball or stick. My explanation to my father was a rocket came out of the sky, went through the window, came back out, and flew away. Consequences: spanking.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Cary:</strong><br />When I was probably in about 3rd grade, I scratched a math problem into the wood paneling we had in our basement family room. (Don't ask me what I was thinking...) When my parents asked if anybody knew what happened to the wall, I denied I knew anything. Well, my parents let it go, but the next Monday, we had a family night lesson on honesty. They explained the long term consequences of lying. They never mentioned the wall or any other specific lies during the lesson, but I felt a huge amount of guilt. When the lesson was over I whispered to my mom I had scratched the wall and I was sorry. She, of course, knew it was me all along since I was the oldest child and the most studious in the family. I don't remember being punished beyond living with my own guilt, but I never forgot that lesson and have tried my whole life to be completely honest in all I do.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Angela:</strong><br />When I was in Kindergarten, I, wanting to seem cool, told a group of my little girlfriends I had had sex with a little neighbor boy. I thought sex was kissing. A friend told her mom, who told our principal, who told our pastor, who called my parents. So, we all went to the school, and met with another friend who had been present that day and her parents. I convinced my friend to lie with me that it was a different girl who had talked about having sex. We got out of any consequence since the adults involved couldn't figure out who the offending party was. I finally confessed as an adult. Funny how you can feel better even as an adult confessing childish wrongs.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Carol:</strong> <br />My dad spanked me for something when I was little. I went in and put ketchup on my legs and came out and said, "I am bleeding, see where you spanked me!" I got another one for lying and wasting ketchup! LOL!</p>
<p><br /><strong>Sylvia:</strong><br />When I was in elementary school our class sold Easter candy every year. Mom always bought a bunch because people from her work ordered. There was a huge box with several boxes of Easter egg candies. She warned all of us not to take ANY or open ANY of the boxes because they were not for us.</p>
<p>Well, I snuck a box and opened it and shared it with the rest of my siblings in hopes Mom wouldn't notice. When she returned home from an errand that night, she noticed the box missing. She asked all the kids what happened to that box. Of course, we all said we didn't know. All of us were sent to bed without dinner. The whole time we were sitting up in bed the rest of my siblings kept begging me to confess the truth. Every time any of them brought up the fact I had opened the candy and shared it with them, I was quick to lie and said I didn't do it. There was much crying and begging for a couple of hours. We all were sent to bed without dinner because I wouldn't admit the truth.</p>
<p>Looking back I feel bad I was so selfish I made my whole family go without dinner because I was scared to tell the truth. I've told this story to my own kids today in hopes they will learn from their mother's mistake. It's not nice to ruin it for everyone.</p>
Staff
2012-05-02T20:36:00Z
Crying In Pain Is Great
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Crying-In-Pain-Is-Great/-222395818650398667.html
2012-05-02T20:28:00Z
2012-05-02T20:28:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have been a listener for a long, long time (since I was in college) and I am now a 40 year old psychologist! <br /><br />Recently, my partner and I discovered our standard poodle might have to be put to sleep because of a serious lung problem we just discovered she has. Needless to say, we have been very distraught and tearful, but what has helped me to get through this time is thinking of a call I heard on your show recently where a woman was crying and dealing with the death of someone important to her. I remember you telling her, "This is great!" because it showed how much she loved this person if she could be in this much pain. I have been thinking about that call for the past couple of days whenever I feel really down about the possibility of losing our dog. I think about how great it has been to have her in our lives the past four years, and remind myself I feel so much pain and sadness because of how much I love her. Thank you for your wisdom. You have helped me so much throughout my life and I am eternally grateful.</p>
<p>All my best to you,</p>
<p>Robert</p>
Staff
2012-05-02T20:28:00Z
Regarding Your Grammar Question
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Regarding-Your-Grammar-Question/-696605136533540333.html
2012-05-01T22:29:00Z
2012-05-01T22:29:00Z
<p>Regarding Dr. Laura's English grammar question on <a href="/pg/jsp/charts/audioMaster.jsp?dispid=306&pid=88445">Julie's Call of the Day</a>: <br /> <br />The correct way to say it is "as long as my husband and I are here." Here's a good way to test it: delete my husband. Would you say, "as long as I am here" or "as long as me is here?" Use a subject pronoun when it is the subject of the sentence, subject pronouns are; I, you, he, she it, we, you, they. Use an object pronoun; me, you, him, her, it, us, you, them, when it is the object of the sentence, usually preceded by a preposition, e.g. in, on, to, between, among, with, (there are 150 prepositions and these are the most common) however, if you would like to see all 150 of them, please click <a href="http://www.englishclub.com/grammar/prepositions-list.htm" target="_blank">http://www.englishclub.com/grammar/prepositions-list.htm</a><br /> <br />I'll be happy to answer any other grammar questions you might have. It's the least I can do, as you have answered many of my questions during the last 30 years I have enjoyed listening to you.</p>
<p>Best regards,<br /><br />Susan</p>
Staff
2012-05-01T22:29:00Z
Learning to Speak His Language
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-to-Speak-His-Language/-85141988506160810.html
2012-05-01T22:25:00Z
2012-05-01T22:25:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>Carl's letter to you about <a href="/b/How-Men-See-Love-and-Sex/500031920224810546.html">How Men View Sex</a> also caught my attention. I've been thinking about learning a new, ahem, "skill" that is both exciting but rightfully very intimidating. Carl's letter motivated me to get over my insecurities and put it into action. I'd like to share it with you. I think you'll get a kick out of it.</p>
<p>I've known since I was a little girl one of my main purposes in life is to LOVE LOVE LOVE a man - my future husband. It's a special gift that I've kept a secret. (I'm 30, single and never married.) I've heard before about the importance of sex but something about Carl's letter made it click this time. All of a sudden I made a jaw dropping connection... I've only thought about my calling through the eyes of a female's idea of love. If my calling is to LOVE a man and his idea of love is sex... that means.... WHOA! I will need to be having LOTS of sex! That is some calling! LOL!</p>
<p>With the motivation from Carl, I've decided to start loving on my future husband. How can I love a man I have yet to meet? By learning to speak his language...</p>
<p>I'm learning how to POLE DANCE!!!</p>
<p>Not one family member or friend knows as this is 100% for my husband - and it will remain that way. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm a very conservative classy woman (think Kate Middleton). I get a mischievous smile on my face anytime I encounter a prospective man.... Is he worthy of my secret? <a href="/b/Womans-Version:-How-Men-View-Sex/424183311671627063.html">Tricia's email</a> is all the more encouraging. I can't wait to blow his socks off on our honeymoon and for years to come!</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>B.</p>
Staff
2012-05-01T22:25:00Z
Profound Gratitude and Admiration
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Profound-Gratitude-and-Admiration/-700209032627052181.html
2012-04-30T19:57:00Z
2012-04-30T19:57:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have heard you speak of your Aunt Lucia. My Uncle Hans was an aeronautical engineering student at the Delft Institute of Technology when the Nazis invaded the Netherlands. Students were required to join the Nazis in order to continue with their studies. Hans, an officer in the Dutch Army, went into hiding.</p>
<p>He lived in the woods for a year and a half, helped by several families in the area as well as by my great-great-aunt. As a courier for the Dutch Resistance, he was finally captured and "interrogated" by the Dutch SS. When Hans would not reveal the names of the other collaborators, he was handed over to the Germans, who took him to the woods and shot him. Even the people who tortured him expressed awe and admiration over Hans' stoicism.</p>
<p>I found out recently there will be a book dedication in Elspeet, Holland, September 10, the anniversary of his murder, and have been invited to speak. The author of the book contacted me last year for any information about my uncle. Little did he know my dad saved every scrap of correspondence and other memorabilia, including his brother's baby book, uniform, diary and code books. I sent him scans of letters, photos, etc. Many refer to other people which the author then tried to locate. He made connections with descendants of these contacts, who had their stories to contribute.</p>
<p>Like you, I never met my relative, but his memory was carried to us by Dad, who told us Hans chose to give up his one life to save others. Dad never went into the details and kept the papers hidden from us. I now have the papers and am starting to put together the whole picture from a new perspective.</p>
<p>My two oldest children are 22 and 24, Hans' age when he was in hiding then died; I am 59, the age at which my father died. From my adult viewpoint, as well as the child I was, I have so much more understanding of my dad, whom I used to find intimidating and difficult. Hans was his beloved big brother. There is even an entry in Hans' diary on my dad's birthday in 1943 which says "Hi Herry. Where are you? Are you alive?" (At the time my dad and the rest of the family were in Java, in Japanese internment camps.)</p>
<p>I am going to Holland with my sister-in-law (my brother's wife) and my youngest son. My grandfather, grandmother, my dad, and my two aunts, survived the camps. Of my sister-in-law's family, only her mother survived because she was at school in England. Her entire family, German Jews, were killed by the Nazis. Debbie and her sister went last year to visit the little jewelry store and apartment above which had been owned by her family for three generations before the Nazis wiped them out. Embedded in the sidewalk in front of the building are three paving stones inscribed with the names of Debbie's grandparents and aunt.</p>
<p>Forgive me for going on about this topic. Your facebook question " How has the memory of a loved one who has passed on affected how you live your life?" caused me to meditate where I am today, what my place is in this world, and profound gratitude for all that went before me.</p>
<p>Loesje</p>
Staff
2012-04-30T19:57:00Z
Punographics
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Punographics/-457444395079804189.html
2012-04-30T19:54:00Z
2012-04-30T19:54:00Z
<p><strong>Hope you enjoy the following bits of humor Terry sent in:</strong></p>
<p>I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.</p>
<p>When chemists die, they barium.</p>
<p>Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.</p>
<p>I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.</p>
<p>How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.</p>
<p>I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.</p>
<p>This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never<br />met herbivore.</p>
<p>I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.</p>
<p>I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.</p>
<p>They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.</p>
<p>We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no<br />pop quiz.</p>
<p>I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.</p>
<p>Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she<br />couldn't control her pupils?</p>
<p>Broken pencils are pointless.</p>
<p>I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.</p>
<p>What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.</p>
<p>England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.</p>
<p>I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.</p>
<p>I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.</p>
<p>I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.</p>
<p>Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.</p>
<p>Velcro — what a rip off!</p>
<p>A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.</p>
<p>Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!</p>
<p>The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.</p>
<p>Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.</p>
Staff
2012-04-30T19:54:00Z
Let Him Be the Man!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Let-Him-Be-the-Man!/844940191393677282.html
2012-04-27T22:18:00Z
2012-04-27T22:18:00Z
<p>Thank you for sharing <a href="/b/I-Like-Being-a-Man/93143612831656051.html">Colin's email</a> about the simple pleasures of manhood. I also had to learn the difference between a female and a lady, and to decide which I wanted to be. I have four brothers and growing up I always had to prove I could keep up with them. Being a girl was no excuse for weakness. As I grew older I took pride in being a strong independent woman, I felt I had to be.</p>
<p>One day one of my brothers approached me with concerns about my current relationship "Does he even open doors for you?" he asked. I had never cared about that kind of thing but after speaking with my brother I realized I should. I broke it off with my boyfriend and decided the next time around things would be different.</p>
<p>I am now happily married to an incredible man. It looks like I have him so well trained but it is actually the other way around! He taught me not only is he showing me respect by taking care of me but I show him respect by letting him. I need to let him be the man! Sometimes he doesn't understand how much I rely on his emotional support so when I bring him jars to open or ask him to get something off of the high shelf, it shows him in a very tangible way I need him and he is my hero.</p>
<p>I had to make an effort to let go of that tough little girl who wanted to keep up with her brothers but I am so glad I did. The other day, my husband and I were in a hurry to go somewhere so I started to open the car door for myself but he stopped me. As he opened the door for me he said firmly, "We are never in that much of a rush." That had me smiling for the rest of the day.</p>
<p>Bekky</p>
Staff
2012-04-27T22:18:00Z
Bad Mom, Good Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bad-Mom,-Good-Mom/231998463127932926.html
2012-04-27T22:16:00Z
2012-04-27T22:16:00Z
<p>I love the advice you give women with bad moms.</p>
<p>I had a bad mom, the kind who would scream, call me stupid, hit and grab me by the ear and drag me on the floor. Every time I go back to my home state, I am torn wanting to have that mother/daughter relationship I never had. I just think I must not be a good daughter because I am conflicted between having a relationship with her and staying as far away as I can. Every time I start feeling sad about the relationship and love I never got from her, I start thinking about something you said.</p>
<p>I got a second chance to have that mother/daughter relationship I never had with my mom. Every day I tell my daughter, "I am so happy you are my daughter." She surprises me every time when she says, "I am so glad you are my mom." So, I chose not to be like my mom and I do have a wonderful, self confident, intelligent daughter who makes me laugh and likes to do things with me.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for repeating the message that we get a second chance in life with our daughters to have a mother/daughter relationship.</p>
<p>Jeanette</p>
Staff
2012-04-27T22:16:00Z
How Long Do I Have with my Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Long-Do-I-Have-with-my-Kids/-320240463748450554.html
2012-04-26T22:52:00Z
2012-04-26T22:52:00Z
<p>Hi Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I was raised in the liberal Boston area. We were all supposed to have it all. Well, after having kids, I did work periodically: once using an institutional daycare center. My youngest, 18 months at the time cried for 1 week straight. The workers told me he would get use to it. He didn't. And I still didn't get it I should stay home. I found a home situation for my boys (18 months and 3). That worked for little while until I got laid off. A year later, I went back to work and hired an American college grad nanny who lived in our house. Well, that worked until I asked her what the kids' preschool teachers had to say about them and she didn't really care, nor did she ask the teachers questions only a mother would ask. Unbelievably, I was kind of perturbed at her at the time. Later I realized she was a paid driver NOT their mother. We moved overseas for a year and half and coming back I still hemmed and hawed about working.</p>
<p>Finally, the epiphany occurred on a religious retreat. I asked God what he wanted me to do... This was a no speaking retreat. Great for us talkers for sure...</p>
<p>I knew going home the best thing I could do for my kids and me was to stay home. Here is how I came to my conclusion. It is actually pretty logical. What is the average life span for women in this country? Oh, about 80-85. So here I was 35 and I asked myself how long do I have my kids? About 20 years or so; then they would be off and running... Since they were 4 and 5 then, I only had about 15 years to be with them. That leaves 30 years to do whatever it is I want to do in my life. The weight of all the women libber BS was removed from my shoulders. I realized I really had been sold a bill of goods about having it all. I could have it all, just not all at the same time!!!</p>
<p>I told myself I would pray for some kind of work I could do from my house and not interfere with me raising my kids. A few months later, I found the most wonderful source of income, selling educational books. I love books and reading so this was perfect for me. I did it a few years and then found it interfering with my family life, so I quit.</p>
<p>I also think teenagers need their mom or dads at home too. They can get into all kinds of things when there is not one home to give them a healthy snack and to be there to listen about their day. I was there. I have never regretted being there for them.</p>
<p>Now that they are grown, I got my motorcycle license, I have two kayaks and paddle when I can. I am planning to go to Peru to Machu Pichu next year.</p>
<p>Moms -- stay home....</p>
<p>Meghan</p>
Staff
2012-04-26T22:52:00Z
A Child Dealing With a Parent Having MS
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Child-Dealing-With-a-Parent-Having-MS/-427457280031261392.html
2012-04-26T22:41:00Z
2012-04-26T22:41:00Z
<p>I grew up in a very similar situation to what the caller experienced. My mother was diagnosed at the age of 30, I was 7. I am now 45 years old. I remember having to be the caretaker of my mother when I was still very young because my mother's anger and inability to deal with her disease drove my father away. That being said, there was VERY,VERY little known about the disease at that time (70's and 80's) and nobody really knew how to help me suddenly be the parent to my mother - like taking her to the bathroom, instead of the other way around. I too, felt guilty when I grew up and was healthy, and had happiness because my mother couldn't. I know now it was partly the disease process shredding her brain and taking away parts of her personality and also most of her physicality.</p>
<p>My prayer for the caller is that she can learn NONE of what happened to her father is her fault. She was the CHILD, not the adult. And if she can accept that no matter how sick her father ever was, his wish would have been she find happiness in her life. Part of his anger came from the fact he wouldn't be able to give her that.</p>
<p>Long time listener and learner,</p>
<p>Karen</p>
Staff
2012-04-26T22:41:00Z
Sand vs. Stone
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sand-vs.-Stone/173217527441391013.html
2012-04-25T23:24:00Z
2012-04-25T23:24:00Z
<p>Howdy, Dr. Laura! </p>
<p>I thought this was well stated.</p>
<p>Len</p>
<p> </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Stone</strong></p>
<p> Two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey, they had an argument; and the one friend slapped the other one in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand: "Today my best friend slapped me in the face."</p>
<p>They kept walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one, who had been slapped, got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After the friend recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone: "Today my best friend saved my life."</p>
<p>The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?"</p>
<p>The other friend replied: "When someone hurts us, we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."</p>
<p>Learn to write your hurts in the sand, and to carve your benefits in stone.</p>
Staff
2012-04-25T23:24:00Z
How Weight Affected My Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Weight-Affected-My-Marriage/541107562615035346.html
2012-04-25T20:24:00Z
2012-04-25T20:24:00Z
<p>My husband and I both gained weight after we were married because we LOVE good food, cooking together, and hosting. I gained much more weight than he did with bearing children, emotional eating, and a few other factors.</p>
<p>My weight did affect our marriage, though not in the way you would think. My husband never once told me I was unattractive or let my weight turn him off. He loved me as a spouse should with all my flaws. How it affected our relationship is I didn't love me. I was insecure about my choices, my body, and my excess baggage. I became much more needy, defensive, and unhappy. He felt helpless.</p>
<p>Fortunately, we've come a long way since first being married and will celebrate our 10th anniversary this August. Over the last few years I've pursued a much healthier lifestyle in every regard including how much I exercise, how I navigate adversity, how I solve problems, how I behave in relationships, how I get what I want, and how I manage my family's healthier diet. I've still got a way to go, but I'm stronger, more fit, more confident, and more satisfied with myself, and our marriage has also enjoyed the benefits.</p>
<p>Thanks for all you do!</p>
<p>Angela</p>
Staff
2012-04-25T20:24:00Z
Woman's Version: How Men View Sex
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Womans-Version:-How-Men-View-Sex/424183311671627063.html
2012-04-24T20:26:00Z
2012-04-24T20:26:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I've been keeping up with your website but that's about it - as a homeschooling SAHM there's not a lot of radio listening going on! I've read a couple of your books and love getting my hands on each one. One comment, in particular, caught my attention :</p>
<blockquote>
<p>"...this is the measure that men have of how much we love them whether we're willing to accept them (literally) into our bodies, whether we're willing to open up to them this is how men register that their woman loves them."</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Yes, this was <a href="/b/How-Men-See-Love-and-Sex/500031920224810546.html">discussed by Carl</a> but I wanted to add my opinion to it. I was never one to use sex as leverage or manipulation. Promise; although I know a lot of women who do that. But I gave the occasional "no" when I was too tired or whatever. We never could wait that full 6 weeks doctors recommend after childbirth and illnesses didn't dampen our sex life like it "should" have but still, I was guilty of that little word.</p>
<p>After reading your book, "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands," I started to realize how true the view represented was for men. I wondered how to help my husband feel more loved. I told him when he came home from work that night I would never use that little word again when he asked for intimacy. It has been wonderful! That man is getting very spoiled, hahaha. And guess what I found out? HE CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF ME! It's amazing to realize he wants me that often - he's trying to show his love for me in that same way. How great to be so loved and irresistible!</p>
<p>He also knows we won't go weeks (or even days) without intimacy so he has no problem waiting - a shower to actually shower, for instance. All the intimacy makes us more affectionate, too (I didn't realize that was possible!) and it's good for our girls to see (4 daughters: 6 & under) so they can witness how a healthy relationship should look (along with all the talking and listening, of course!).</p>
<p>I just want to say "thanks again" for all that you represent.</p>
<p>Tricia</p>
<p>PS: Just so you know how odd this all is, the whole extended family on my side would scoff at your ideas - that's why I'm not even spoken to anymore: I'm a "silly SAHM who is submissive to my husband". It's nice to have the last laugh, isn't it?</p>
Staff
2012-04-24T20:26:00Z
The Grandparent and Grandchild Relationship
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Grandparent-and-Grandchild-Relationship/-821299162615099089.html
2012-04-24T20:24:00Z
2012-04-24T20:24:00Z
<p>Some responses to Dr. Laura's Facebook question: <em>"What is your favorite memory from spending time with your grandparents?"</em><br /><br /><strong>Sara:</strong> My grandfather taking me out for a ride in his 1929 Model A Ford. Antique cars were his passion. That same grandfather also bought me my letter jacket in high school when I earned my varsity letter. Athletic achievement was something he particularly respected. I'm so glad I was able to accomplish that when I did because he died of cancer just a year later.</p>
<p><strong>Daniella:</strong> The stories they would tell of my great grandparents- like the one who was a bootlegger in the great depression so he could make ends meet and my great grandmother who would make her own sauerkraut. Also learning how to make various foods from scratch; the only time I was ever able to make a decent pie crust was when my grandmother stood over me. But my grandpa always said recipes should be kept simple and there is no need to add extra ingredients. I miss my grandparents so much!</p>
<p><strong>Theresa:</strong> When my grandma, Nini, was going through Alzheimers, I would come up with funny sayings and ask her how to say them in Italian. Her mind kept working and she loved them. Our favorite was, "I blew a fart" which was pronounced (not sure how to spell it) Feechee new bittitonay. I would say that and Nini would laugh and say, "Oh, salute salute." Right up until she was on her deathbed. I sure do miss her.</p>
<p><strong>Kelly: </strong> Both of my father's parents were musicians; Grandma a concert pianist and Grandpa wrote music for and toured with Big Band Era Artie Shaw in his band. We played lots of music together and Grandma's last performance was at my wedding 22 years ago. She played "Clair de Lune" and it is on video! My mother's parents were more laid back; Grandma cooked wonderful family meals and Grandpa would talk politics! We all thought he was funny; Grandma didn't, but was a good sport. I spent nearly every weekend as a child visiting one or the other! I was blessed I had grandparents growing up!</p>
<p><strong>Deb:</strong> Helping my gramma to quilt and sew stuff, my grampa? Berry picking. Ya, was always fun. We forgot my niece in the bushes one day after a day of berry picking, and we drove about 5 miles just to discover she wasn't in the vehicle. When we drive back to the woods, she was still picking berries..oblivious we had left and came back.</p>
<p><strong>Ruth:</strong> Picking my grandmother's raspberries out of her garden. She would tell me to go pick some for dinner. Needless to say more ended in my tummy than the table. My dad would tell me quit eating them, and my grandma would always say, "Those are my raspberries and she can eat as many as she would like." It made me feel so special that I could have as many as I liked.</p>
<p><strong>Julienne:</strong> I have a few from my grandparents. My maternal grandfather driving to downtown LA everyday, playing kitchen with me and pretending to eat the food I "cooked", and his butt indentation on his couch; my fraternal grandparents always doting on me; and my step-grandmother's filipino cooking, humming, and hugs. I miss them all. The only one alive is my step-grandmother. I have to give her a hug real soon and tell her I love her so much.</p>
<p><strong>Michelle:</strong> Tied-- my grandparents had a swinging door leading from their 'mud room' to the patio, and it creaked very loudly. Rrrrrrrnk...BANG! Rrrrrrnk..BANG! I think about that, and the family get togethers--most of us lived within 10 miles of him, so sometimes it was weekly, but ALWAYS after the first deer hunt/ fishing trip of the seasons--we'd have a huge family dinner. Our cousins would be there, and they had purchased the lot next door and kept it just empty so we kids had plenty of room to run and play. Which we would: Hide N Seek, Red Rover, Freeze Tag...kill the kid with the ball. Because of that, my cousins were my best friends growing up and remain close to this day. Then, one of my favorite voices..my Pawpaw's, calling out when you walked in the door... "Git on in here and git yerself sumthin' t' eat!"</p>
<p><strong>Nancy:</strong> I loved going through my grandma's jewelry box with her. She'd let me try everything on, and tell me the stories behind the pieces. I'm sure most of it was costume jewelry. She raised my mom through the Depression, after all, but in my 7 year old eyes, everything was a precious gem.<br /><br /><strong>Janie:</strong> I was so fortunate to grow up in a close relationship with both sets of grandparents and a set of great grandparents. Someone was ALWAYS home! We never had to worry about going home to an empty house. I loved hearing the stories they would share with us about when they were younger, poorer, struggling, and loving life. I wouldn't trade that for ANYTHING!!!!<br /><br />Read more or post your own at: <a href="http://www.facebook.com/drlaura" target="_blank">Facebook.com/DrLaura</a></p>
Staff
2012-04-24T20:24:00Z
Lazy and Undisciplined No More!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lazy-and-Undisciplined-No-More!/-830474647591675576.html
2012-04-23T17:52:00Z
2012-04-23T17:52:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>One thing you said that REALLY got my attention was your comments about two years ago to an overweight woman. You told her she was lazy and undisciplined and she did not care about the impression she was making on others. OUCH! Those words hit home.</p>
<p>I have always struggled with my weight. I'm less than five feet tall, so I just cannot eat what others eat. I'm curvy, so I never have that lean look anyway. I love food, I love to cook, I love to be the hostess, and I love going out to restaurants. Some women sew, some make crafts, enjoy scrapbooking or interior decorating, or they work in the garden. My creative outlet in the home has always been cooking. However, when you gain five pounds a year every year, eventually you end up having to lose a lot of weight. I am not lazy in other areas of my life I am certainly disciplined, and I care a lot about the impression I make on others. Your words motivated me to quit playing around and to take weight loss really seriously. Sure, I had joined weight loss groups before, and I'd lose a few pounds, but once the initial excitement wore off and the pounds were not coming off so quickly, well, I would get frustrated and give up. Some friends from out of state got good results from a medical weight loss program, so with encouragement from my husband, I did the same. It was not inexpensive, but he said to me, "Aren't you worth it?" Cutting back a little bit wasn't enough for me. I needed to go somewhere where I had to weigh in daily and show my food diary and exercise log daily. Over time, I have completely changed the way I eat. With help from my program (and no medication), I lost sixty pounds and seven pant sizes to meet my goal last spring.</p>
<p>I could write another email just on the changes I've made and some of the challenges which come with losing that much weight. And I still need help. I've gained a little of this weight back in the last year, and I'm up one size in clothing. Sometimes it only takes a difference of 100-200 calories a day for me to swing from losing weight to maintaining to gaining weight. It is difficult to be disciplined every single day. I need the help and the accountability from others to keep my momentum up. However, the more committed I am to my goal, the more support I have received from my family, friends, and co-workers. They keep me away from the candy bowl in the office, the donuts at Sunday School, and the ice cream my family enjoys. They know I'm not going to eat their birthday cake, and it's okay. They don't even ask anymore. (Have you ever realized how many times it's someone's birthday?)</p>
<p>THANKS, Dr. Laura, for goading me into action. I will never forget those words that changed my life. I know you live them too.<br /><br />Lori</p>
Staff
2012-04-23T17:52:00Z
A Much Needed Tool!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Much-Needed-Tool!/-613841324500257681.html
2012-04-23T17:48:00Z
2012-04-23T17:48:00Z
<p>My Dearest Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I was just listening to your <a href="/pg/jsp/charts/audioMaster.jsp?dispid=306&pid=88229">Call of the Day. You told "Geri"</a> when her dad gives accolades about her siblings, she should agree or acknowledge their accomplishments, then ask "Why don't you ever acknowledge mine?" I am SOOOOOOO excited. These are the exact words I have needed for years! The next time my mom goes on and on about my sister and her family, I promise to ask her why she has never noticed me (or my other 2 sisters and 1 brother). I may even call her on purpose. LOL</p>
<p>Here is a classic example, so you can see where I am coming from: Mom: "Your niece hasn't taken any drugs or drank any alcohol for over 2 weeks!" The Old Me: That's great, good for her." Now I will say, "Well, why aren't you excited my daughters have NEVER taken drugs?"</p>
<p>Do you see why I need your words? Thanks a gazillion!!! </p>
<p>Now YOU, Dr. Laura, Have a great and blessed day!</p>
<p>A Fan For Years,</p>
<p>Stacy</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2012-04-23T17:48:00Z
Stuck By Me Through Thick and Thin
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stuck-By-Me-Through-Thick-and-Thin/996724169281799190.html
2012-04-20T20:49:00Z
2012-04-20T20:49:00Z
<p>I am a 34 year old married female, mother of 10 year old twin girls.</p>
<p>I was overweight all of my childhood and young adult life. I wanted to get married young and have kids young and I knew being heavy that wouldn't happen. So I lost 90 lbs and found myself a husband.</p>
<p>I got married at 23 and had my kids right away and within two years of marriage I packed on 125 lbs (partly due to thyroid problems) but mostly due to poor eating habits and lack of exercise. I was almost unrecognizable. Funny part is it didn't affect my relationship with my husband at all. He seemed to be just as affectionate at my smallest and at my biggest. I really learned that he loved ME. He literally stuck by me through thick and thin. I have since lost that 125 lbs and things haven't changed at all between us.</p>
<p>What did change was me. I was extremely embarrassed to be seen, I never wanted to leave the house, I wore big clothes to hide but I always looked clean and presentable (well groomed). I would never go to any functions of my husband's (work Christmas parties, get-togethers, etc) because I was so embarrassed for him to have a huge wife...but he always wanted me to go.</p>
<p>Whenever I get frustrated with my husband I think back about how he treated me great and stuck by me through my ups and downs with weight loss/weight gain. I'm very lucky to have him.</p>
<p>By the way, I read your book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands about 3 years ago and it changed my marriage completely. I always thought our bickering was his fault until I read your book and realized I was the problem not him. I changed completely and things have been fantastic for years. He often thanks me for reading that book. I realized it was the way I spoke to him that was creating conflict. I made most of my friends read your book too and they all same the same thing.</p>
<p>Thanks for your help!</p>
<p>Casey</p>
Staff
2012-04-20T20:49:00Z
More Family Meal Memories
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/More-Family-Meal-Memories/-873459502378268418.html
2012-04-20T20:34:00Z
2012-04-20T20:34:00Z
<p>Even more responses came in from Dr. Laura's question: <em>"What's your best memory from a family dinner when you were either a kid or now as an adult?"</em> Here are several more:<br /><br /><strong>From Chris: </strong><br />Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Supper time was always special at my house. Although my parents divorced when I was a teenager, those early years contain fond memories of us four kids and my parents around the supper table. My dad was home by 5:15 or so every day and we had supper shortly thereafter. Even after the divorce and re-marriage he tried to keep that tradition and was somewhat successful.</p>
<p>My siblings and I are all grown and married now and we still gather often at my house. When my son was growing up we continued the tradition in our home. I especially remember the summer before he moved out to continue his education in another town. He lived at home for two years after high school while he worked and attended classes trying to make his way. That summer before he moved to another town to work and go to school we had a lot of suppers outside around the table on our deck. Many a night we were there until late just chatting and enjoying each others company. Was so wonderful spending that time with him.</p>
<p>Once he finished college, married (in the way you would be proud of as we were/are) he moved close to us, they had a baby and now our Sunday tradition is mass together and then back to Grandma and Grandpas' for Sunday lunch. So I'm thankful for the opportunity to pass the family love and traditions on to the next generation. Charlie is 15 months old and already chimes in to the lively table discussions! A family gathered around the table is priceless!<br /> </p>
<p><strong>Lisa:</strong> <br />You are so right about the importance of family dinners. It was the one time I believe we could sit down and really enjoy each others' company, empathize with them if they had a bad day, laugh with them about an experience, or bring differing opinions to the table when discussing current events.</p>
<p>My own experience with my children has given me the gift of knowing their strengths and weaknesses. I believe they have gotten to know mine also.</p>
<p>I always wanted my children to enjoy rather than dread dinner with the family. When I was growing up, I hated dinner with the family. It was the time of day when our father would yell at us, demean us, and punish us for whatever we had done. I never felt the joy of sitting down with my siblings and parents to dinner. It seemed as if we were "pitted" against each other and tears were the only way a family dinner ended.</p>
<p>Therefore, I did everything in my power to make sure family dinner with my husband and children did not end up the same way. The only tears shed at our table were tears from laughing too hard.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura for your wonderful work.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Edie:</strong><br />My husband and I have always made it a priority to have family dinners together. Sometimes we had to get creative. When my husband had to work late, I often packed up the kids and the dinner I prepared and the kids and I brought dinner to him. He had a nice meal and the kids got to eat with their dad.</p>
<p>I remember one fun dinner we had at home. Everyone has a usual seat at the dinner table. One night, we all sat in different seats and pretended to be the person whose seat we were sitting in. So, I was in my husband's chair and I talked with a deep voice and asked "my wife" how her day was and how the kids were. We all laughed.</p>
<p>Keep up the good work. Being a stay-at-home mom was the best job ever!</p>
<p> <br /><strong>Elaine:</strong><br />Seven kids, Mom, and Dad all crowded around a kitchen table, could get chaotic at times, but we were all together and mostly happy (when we weren't yelling "Who took the mustard?!").</p>
<p>The dinner none of us will ever forget was the night I, as the youngest and probably around 4 yrs old, was cutting up instead of eating, and Annalee, one of the eldest, in exasperation, burst out, "Corky, if you don't want to leave, eat the table!" We all burst out laughing even Annalee.</p>
<p>P.S. We had to ask to be excused and wait for Dad to say "Yes" before we were allowed to leave the table. And grace before meals was a "must". And although we are all now scattered throughout five states, we are still very close and love each other very much.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Marchelle:</strong><br />When my 3 daughters were young we stayed home on New Year's Day. The youngest was still in a booster seat. I made a big fancy dinner, set a gorgeous table, and even had crystal stemware that the girls drank apple juice out of. Everyone dressed up. Making my husband and children feel special...without anyone else involved was my goal.</p>
<p>Dr. Laura.....the girls are all grown up now with families of their own but they remember this. I miss those times...but am so glad we made memories.</p>
Staff
2012-04-20T20:34:00Z
Staying Attractive Throughout Your Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Staying-Attractive-Throughout-Your-Marriage/541938677644133288.html
2012-04-19T23:12:00Z
2012-04-19T23:12:00Z
<p>In today's Daily Dose, Dr. Laura asked, "Did you ever let yourself "go" physically after you were married? How did it affect your relationship with your husband or wife?" Here are some responses:</p>
<p><strong>From Theresa:</strong><br />There was one time I let myself go during my marriage. My husband was very busy at work, 60hr weeks, I was working almost full time and my twins were 2 through 4 yrs old. I was so angry that I was doing way more than my fair share I stuffed myself to make up for deprivation in other areas of my life. I was also afraid I might give into temptation to cheat if my weight was at a healthy range. The weight allowed me to hide and kept me safe in that area.</p>
<p>Since that difficult time in our marriage, I cut back and finally quit work, trusted my husband to care for us and not abandon me even if I no longer made the big pay check and give up the rat race. I lost about 26lbs, had time to exercise and take care of myself and no longer resented the kids or my husband when they needed me. I also had more energy since I no longer had to spend it at work. I am now married very happily for 22 yrs. My husband would never want to go back to that sad, overstressed wife no matter how big the paycheck.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Diane:</strong><br />I have always tried to be attractive for my spouse. We have now been married for 37 years, raised a son and daughter and are still friends and lovers.</p>
<p>One compromise I have had to make is in my hair style/length. I prefer my hair shorter than I have worn it for the past 15 years. My husband does not like my hair shorter so I go to the trouble to keep it a little longer than shoulder length. It takes longer to dry and style my hair, but since he loves it longer, I can always pin it up when I am working outside or participating in sports or doing yard work that gets me too hot to leave it long and loose.</p>
<p>We try to do what makes each other happiest! That is one little step in having a long, happy marriage. My hubby told me once he wants to do and act in a way that makes me feel safe and happy! I love him for that.</p>
<p><br /><strong>DeNise:</strong><br />I would like to say, I have not let myself go after marriage. I have been married almost 28 yrs. I only weigh a few more pounds than when I was in my 20's. I work hard to keep my shape, eating right and lifting those weights (Kettlebells for over 4 years!!)</p>
<p>I feel it is a "gift" I give my husband. I am 55 yrs old but still look like the girl he married in the early 80's. He is so kind. Whenever we are out, he looks around the room and tells me he is lucky, because he has the most beautiful woman in the room. I think I am the lucky one; I have a man who will do anything for me.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura, I have been listening to you since late night radio in LA.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Nancy:</strong><br />After having 4 children with my husband I was unable to get off the last 35 lbs and kept it on for approximately 16 years. As a result my husband began staring at other women to the point of turning in his chair when we were out in public. It was humiliating for me!</p>
<p>After years of this behavior and years of counseling I was able to lose the 35 lbs. Much to my surprise I found a much stronger and much more confident person I had also lost. The truth of the matter is I stopped worrying about the women my husband was staring at and began to take better care of myself in every way. That turned out to be what was more appealing to him than the 35 lbs I had taken off.</p>
<p>We are both much happier and have a wonderful marriage, in part to that, and from listening to you Dr. Laura! My husband always tells people you are the best thing that ever happened to me!!!</p>
<p><br /><strong>Mary Clare: </strong> <br />Just recently, I have experienced how important this is. In my case, it relates to my husband. By letting his dental care lapse, going days without shaving and dressing like a slob, I recoiled and put a distance between us. When I would ask about a dental appointment, or for him to shave "just for me" he would snicker and not take action. As it turns out, he entered into an emotional affair with a work colleague recently, during which he asked her how she felt about a guy being unshaven and dressing for comfort. He really didn't like I requested a certain level of attractiveness in order to be eager for sex with him. I guess what I am saying is that it is not just up to the woman to stay fit and attractive. Men must understand they can influence how the marriage goes based on how attractive they make themselves. Yes, staying attractive matters...and it takes two to keep the fires burning!</p>
<p><br /><strong>Lauren:</strong><br />Good morning Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I saw your email this morning about letting yourself go after getting married. My amazing husband and I were married almost 5 years ago. After we married, I started a new job and just let everything go. I gained 30 pounds in the first year. I have been sluggish and not happy with myself or the way my husband sees me.</p>
<p>Last summer, I made the choice to "eat less and move more." I now go to the gym at least twice a week, put my dinner on the smallest plate I have, and I have dropped 25 pounds. I am working my way down a total of 70 pounds so I am my healthiest when my husband and I start a family. We are definitely having much more fun practicing now!</p>
<p>Thank you for being an inspiration and helping me be my husband's girlfriend!</p>
Staff
2012-04-19T23:12:00Z
Family Meal Memories
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Family-Meal-Memories/975723372408834834.html
2012-04-18T22:25:00Z
2012-04-18T22:25:00Z
<p>In today's Daily Dose, Dr. Laura asked, "What's your best memory from a family dinner when you were either a kid or now as an adult?" We received numerous responses from you - some sad and poignant, but most happy and heart-warming. Here are only a few…</p>
<p><strong>From Pam: </strong> <br />We make it a point almost every evening to have dinner as a family.</p>
<p>After our first was born, I joined a mom's group and we all sat on the floor in a church conference room and went around the room saying our high and lows for the day as a new mom. This was incredibly helpful to hear other mothers having similar highlights and issues.</p>
<p>As a family, we thought this might be a good idea and today each person goes around the table and tells their "high" and their "low" for the day. Our boys ages 12 and 10 love it and it sure beats asking "How was your day." It is also good to hear how my husband's day was too. It helps me to make sure I have something exciting to say each day too. It is an excellent way for kids to talk and listen and same for the parents. We all look forward to dinner time!</p>
<p><br /><strong>From Lauren:</strong><br />We were a combined family, my mom had 4 and my step dad had 4. Family meals meant "breaking out the leaf" so we could all fit at the dining room table. It was nothing but laughter and chatting and happiness. My mom still laughs remembering how we'd recite lines from movies together, sing songs etc, and still marvels how all 8 of us could remember so much from stuff we'd seen so little of.</p>
<p>The only time the table was quiet was when a certain brother of mine had to use the bathroom. He liked to sing while he relieved himself so we would all get quiet to listen to him sing, then bust out laughing when he came back to the table. There was one time we had salad with our meal. I thought it was a squeeze bottle of ranch dressing, so I squeezed it over the salad and ended up with almost the entire bottle on my plate. At 30 years old now, I still have yet to live that one down, its always "keep the ranch away from Lauren!" I didn't always get along well with my step-siblings, but I can honestly say I don't remember even one family meal that has a bad memory attached to it.</p>
<p>As a mother now, we try to sit down as much as possible. My husband works in retail so many nights it's just me and the kids, but they love it when Daddy is home and we all eat together. In fact just last night my 6 year old said "I love it when we all eat dinner together!" You can't get much more affirmation than that!</p>
<p><br /><strong>Eve wrote:</strong><br />We ate weekday meals together, but Sunday lunch was always special. My grandmother would join us and we shared wonderful stories.</p>
<p>The best memory I have is when we moved our parrot into the kitchen. No one noticed him as we bowed our heads to say grace and in that quiet moment after we all closed our eyes the bird started squawking "hello" and "pretty bird". My grandmother nearly jumped out of her chair and we laughed the whole meal. It was a real icebreaker moment and we really enjoyed each other's company that day. My grandmother wasn't an easy person to like, but the bird interruption lightened the mood and we all had a great time.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Sharon sent in:</strong><br />When my son went off to Yale, he told us the thing he missed most from home was our evening dinners. (My husband is a physician and he made a point of being home for dinner even if he had to go back to the hospital after it.) Our son loved sitting around the dinner table talking about 'everything'. When his sister joined him at Yale, they made a point of having dinner together one night a week. It was very important to them. Now they each are married and back in town so we try to have dinner at least every couple of weeks so we can still get that wonderful feeling of family we had so many years ago.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Debbie's response:</strong><br />My best memories of family dinners (which our family always had together) was my older twin sisters arguing over who got the coveted brown melamine plate to eat off of! Also my dad saying right before dessert, "I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!" Then there was the once a month dinner of "liver" my mom insisted we have for the iron it contained, and how I tried to slip it under the table to our fox terrier! I always got caught and had to clean up the floor afterwards, as even the dog wasn't too crazy about liver night either!</p>
<p><br /><strong>Linda's memories:</strong><br />Growing up in the fifties and sixties, IT WAS written in stone the whole family sat down to dinner together. Every meal contained lively conversation about our day. Mom and Dad chimed in just enough to keep the stories coming. In hindsight, I realize it was mostly us kids doing the talking and I'm sure that was orchestrated by our parents. But what really strikes me was long after the meal was done and we kids had fled the dinner table for more exciting adventures, Mom and Dad sat there for hours talking. What appeared so boring to me as a child, I now fondly remember and realize as a loving, committed relationship. It's a tragedy all of our gadgets, trinkets and conveniences have ironically taken so much away from us.</p>
Staff
2012-04-18T22:25:00Z
Remembering Old Flames
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Remembering-Old-Flames/-728339718126670333.html
2012-04-17T21:42:00Z
2012-04-17T21:42:00Z
<p>A recent caller was having trouble with constant dreams of an old boyfriend from 15 years ago. This brought to mind my 'problem' remembering a couple of old girl friends.</p>
<p>I spend an hour a day on an exer-cycle listening to the best music ever made: 1964 - 1972 Rock / Pop music.</p>
<p>There are some songs which make me remember two girls, and make me feel sad. I really liked both of them, but I was a bit naive and extremely shy. And so, although I can't remember details, I'm pretty sure I inadvertently hurt the feelings of one of them badly, and completely missed the signals the other was sending. I do remember deciding to break all contact with the first girl, although I can't remember why. I know I never told either of them 'Goodbye', I just went away. (In my shyness / insecurity / ignorance I didn't think they'd mind.)</p>
<p>From what I now understand about myself and about them, I'm pretty sure things wouldn't have worked out well with either girl. So I don't feel bad about 'losing' them, just about the probability I hurt their feelings.</p>
<p>I went many years without thinking of these girls, but a medicine I was put on a couple of years ago seems to have triggered 'flashbacks' to the early 1970s for me. I can't quit the medicine, and enjoy most of the '70s memories.</p>
<p>Eventually, I'm sure I'll accept I can't do anything about any feelings I may have hurt 40 years ago. Until then, I'll just skip past those songs when the MP3 randomizer selects them.</p>
<p>Life has been good and I won't let random memories mess it up.</p>
<p>Kevin</p>
Staff
2012-04-17T21:42:00Z
What Did She Just Say?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Did-She-Just-Say/-616372567711573257.html
2012-04-17T21:19:00Z
2012-04-17T21:19:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>You recently asked what "shocking" thing you said when I first started listening to your program. Well, here's my story:</p>
<p>7 1/2 years ago, I was a new mommy, home on "maternity leave", and I had the radio on to keep some sort of adult noise in the house. I don't know how I came to that station, and I wasn't really paying attention to anything that was on, but suddenly I heard this woman going on and on about how WRONG abortion is. I was shocked! I mean, I TOTALLY AGREED with everything she was saying, but I couldn't believe the radio was allowing this to air! Then she went on about the perils of shacking up, kids out of wedlock, and everything I had the same opinion about.<br />I was hooked.</p>
<p>And what a blessing, because although my husband and I had already decided I would soon officially quit my job after our child was born, I was very scared to actually do it. Your voice came at the right time, and I have been my kids' mommy (we have two now) ever since.</p>
<p>Amy</p>
Staff
2012-04-17T21:19:00Z
No Regrets Over Aborted Child
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-Regrets-Over-Aborted-Child/-355050398800485656.html
2012-04-16T21:15:00Z
2012-04-16T21:15:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I can't resist taking a couple of minutes and writing to you.</p>
<p>I wanted to send to you the link to an appalling opinion I just read in the NY Times Sunday opinion page by Susan Heath from April 14, 2012: <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/15/opinion/sunday/having-an-abortion-when-no-one-called-me-a-slut.html" target="_blank">No One Called Me a Slut</a>. She unblinkingly states her story about having no regrets over a 1978 abortion she had for what would have been her 5th child, whom she simply did not want. I just read it, and am aghast and appalled by her opinion. God help us and save us from people who hold such moral values.</p>
<p>She already had 4 children, did not want a fifth one, and was in school at the time. She says she has no regrets or moral guilt about this action. I will pray for her but would like you to highlight this story on the absolute moral depravity of the position she holds. I would not wish to be her facing the Lord on judgment day.</p>
<p>Thanks so much, Dr. Laura, and God bless you.</p>
<p>Sincerely yours,</p>
<p>Kris <br />(Mom of 4 wonderful children, who would never have aborted a fifth one)</p>
Staff
2012-04-16T21:15:00Z
Empty Nested Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Empty-Nested-Mother/603598929086006928.html
2012-04-16T21:12:00Z
2012-04-16T21:12:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura - the usual pleasantries expression of admiration here...</p>
<p>I am writing about the lady whose daughter is off to college. You recommended she learn to play pool or get a hobby, so she can focus and concentrate on something, and enjoy herself, to overcome her sadness over her empty nest.</p>
<p>The thing that struck me about the woman was she was so FULL of LOVE to GIVE. Even after loving her husband, she still had lots leftover to share. Something else that may lead to her fulfillment would be finding something or someone who needs that love and attention. For instance, volunteer at an animal shelter, hold babies in a hospital NICU, serve food at a soup kitchen, help women who are trying to escape from homelessness by volunteering at a charity that teaches those women work skills, or hosting a foreign exchange student (or a couple)!</p>
<p>She was a good mother for many years, and maybe she's feeling like her good skills are not needed any more. I would think finding a new direction of giving of herself might bring her joy and fulfillment.</p>
<p>Just my humble thoughts of the day.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Carolyn</p>
Staff
2012-04-16T21:12:00Z
I Had to Turn Off Your Show
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Had-to-Turn-Off-Your-Show/-498505142256491034.html
2012-04-13T23:14:00Z
2012-04-13T23:14:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have listened to you on and off for a few years now and I even try to refer your show to others for some direction in life.</p>
<p>Nothing prepared me for the recent pickle I was just in. Long story short, I was seeing an unavailable man (not married) but otherwise. I justified it by telling myself they weren't married and honestly that was true. Overall I thought we'd eventually end up together. Fast forward to the other night, I was contacted via text by the other woman and was given "a little advice" by her. I did not indulge in the banter but after sleeping on it, I came to this conclusion: This seriously hurt my character, my morals and respect for myself. I made a bad judgment call out of a feeling and I am left to hurt. I have to carry the shame with me that I am now the talk of the town and the rumors are flying. I decided to apologize to myself and hold my head up high instead of locking myself in a room. I made a mistake. I hope they decide to get healthy because they deserve each other!</p>
<p>So, during your show, I turned you off and went to purchase "10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives". Getting ready to open the book now so today's show will have to be from the podcast.</p>
<p>Janice</p>
Staff
2012-04-13T23:14:00Z
You Had Me at: 'So, Your Daughter's a...'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/You-Had-Me-at:-So,-Your-Daughters-a.../-423735916074939180.html
2012-04-13T23:11:00Z
2012-04-13T23:11:00Z
<p>Several years ago, before you went to satellite radio, I was driving along, as many others, trying to find a radio station to listen to, preferring talk to music radio when traveling long distance.</p>
<p>....landing on a station, I heard "...so your daughter's a slut?" WHOA....what the heck! I continue to listen and I heard a woman telling you of her adult daughter, living with her boyfriend. My own daughter had made this awful decision just days before. You had no nonsense advice for a very difficult situation. Since this day I have been a faithful follower. I lost you until last year when I acquired a new car with satellite - what a glorious day when I found your voice, again. Thank you for all that you do.</p>
<p>BTW - I recently remarried 3 years ago at the age of 5 0, after being a single parent since the age of 32. My 3 daughters are wonderful, confident, successful women.</p>
<p>Blessings....</p>
<p>Margaret</p>
Staff
2012-04-13T23:11:00Z
Ending Up With a Distressed Damsel
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ending-Up-With-a-Distressed-Damsel/22505507080868967.html
2012-04-12T23:21:00Z
2012-04-12T23:21:00Z
<p>I have been listening to your show for a little over a year now. The thing you said that has hit me the hardest is, "when you rescue a damsel in distress all you end up with is a distressed damsel." I am 32 years old and I am coming up on the second anniversary of my second marriage. Frankly, this one is going about as well as the first one did.</p>
<p>My first wife was the product of a messy divorce. It seemed every day she screamed and yelled and yelled and screamed. It was rarely about something I did, it was more related to her work than our relationship, but I was still the constant punching bag. Once I actually "grew a pair" and stood up for myself it turned into constant fighting. After a fight where I had to restrain her from hitting me and she actually bit me, I decided there was nothing more I could for her. I had teeth marks in my shoulder for days. Shortly thereafter I moved back home (about 600 miles away) and we divorced. I got custody of the dog; we had no children.</p>
<p>My second wife is also a product of divorce, but rather than being forced to be in the middle of a messy divorce she was basically neglected by her parents. They gave her food and shelter but beyond that they did not do a lot of parenting. Her father saw her every other weekend and tried to parent her, but other than that, she was out of sight out of mind for him. Her mother worked and brought her home dinner but was "too tired" for anything beyond that. When my wife was 16 her mother even moved in with her new husband and left my wife behind at their house to fend for herself.<br />Now my wife is following in those footsteps when it comes to me. When she gets home from work she is "needs to unwind and is too tired" to pay any attention to me. Unwinding to her is lying on the couch and watching TV. The best way to describe her is as a grumpy lump.</p>
<p>Last July, I bought her "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" thinking maybe she just didn't have a good example of how marriage is supposed to be like. It took her three months to read it, (this is a woman who did an entire MBA program in 9 months.) When she finished it, she made more comparisons to how her parents treated her rather than how she was treating me. None of it sunk in. So I waited a few months and got her "Bad Childhood, Good Life." She read the introduction and never picked it up again. </p>
<p>So after being neglected and completely bored with watching her watch TV from the time we get home from work until we fall asleep on the couch, I joined the gym and spend most of my evenings there. I have lost over 20 pounds and have gained a lot of muscle doing Les Mills Body Pump. Now the wife is annoyed with me for spending so much time at the gym and that I don't start making dinner until I get home around 8 pm. But at least I am doing something productive rather than being bitter she is wasting both of our lives away.</p>
<p>So needless to say I wish I had heard that little bit of advice earlier.</p>
<p>Thomas</p>
Staff
2012-04-12T23:21:00Z
Getting Through the Bad Days
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Getting-Through-the-Bad-Days/-256329423625418188.html
2012-04-12T23:09:00Z
2012-04-12T23:09:00Z
<p>I have a long story. I was only 17 when my father killed my mother, brother and 2 sisters. I married soon after and it ended in divorce. My second husband of now 33 years and I were blessed with 3 children: two boys and a girl. Our beautiful daughter died when she was just 28 days old. My husband found her; SIDS was the listed as the cause of death. When others hear my story and say, "How do you do it?" I reply with a huge smile, "Why Dr. Laura gets me through the bad days!"</p>
<p>My husband and I listen to you often and we have enjoyed your insight into life. Your calls do enjoy a lot of lively discussions. I just want you to know even some one as damaged as I am can find peace within your words. Please enjoy another 50 years of being MOTHER LAURA!</p>
<p>Thank you from one of your survivors</p>
Staff
2012-04-12T23:09:00Z
Building a New Relationship with My Mother In Law
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Building-a-New-Relationship-with-My-Mother-In-Law/-111085549182102710.html
2012-04-11T21:42:00Z
2012-04-11T21:42:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Several years back, at Fort Benning, Georgia I had the chance to meet you. You were attending a Ranger's in Action demonstration and my husband was one of the Ranger's putting on the demonstration. He called me to come and see you. I did in fact SEE you, but I am painfully shy and didn't attempt to introduce myself. I regret not doing so. My husband is an amazing man and I have never been more in love in my life. We've been married 12 years but it just keeps getting better.</p>
<p>But I am not writing about my husband, I want to tell you about his mother. My mother in law is a woman whom could not stand me or I her for the first two years of our marriage. As fate would have it, my husband got deployed to Iraq (we lived in Germany) and he asked me to move closer to his family for the year he was gone.</p>
<p>So back to the states I went, living less than five miles from my mother and father in law. We have two children, (they were 7 and 3 at the time) and we attended church with my in-laws. At some point my mother in law and I got paired up together for a bible study where we had to discuss deeply personal issues regarding relationships. I finally just came out and said "You don't like me much do you?" She replied, "No, I did not like you much when I first met you." For some people this would have been nothing short of a insult, the start of a huge fight, but it was not for us. It was a beginning of healing and building a whole new relationship.</p>
<p>My mother in law is hands down the most beautiful woman I have ever met. She was a nurse for 51 years, she survived breast cancer, a double mastectomy, she camps with NO tent because she thinks there is nothing better then sleeping under the stars, she is a lady of the utmost elegance and grace, and can physically (at age 73) run circles around most 20-somethings. I love her so much, she made me a better woman, gave love to the little girl inside who never got love from her real mom and taught me through her actions with her husband how to be a loving wife to her son.</p>
<p>My father in law is a great man too and in every way my husband mimics him, walks in his shoes and believes his dad is his greatest hero. They have the type of relationship YOU try to teach many women how to obtain. I believe without a doubt "apples don't fall far from the tree" and anyone who becomes part of their family tree are blessed and become better for it.</p>
<p>Keep passing on your wonderful gift, Dr Laura</p>
<p>With much respect and hugs,</p>
<p>Michelle</p>
Staff
2012-04-11T21:42:00Z
A Man's Point of View on Abortion
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Mans-Point-of-View-on-Abortion/667317269642315935.html
2012-04-11T21:37:00Z
2012-04-11T21:37:00Z
<p>Recently, you had a <a href="/pg/jsp/charts/audioMaster.jsp?dispid=306&pid=87925">caller who was trying to justify her actions of having an abortion</a>, instead of the baby being raised in another state by the biological father and his family. As I listened to the call with my husband, he got angrier and angrier at the caller and all her excuses for killing the baby. "He will NEVER forgive her!" he shouted as he left the room to calm himself down.</p>
<p>When he came back, he requested I turn off the show because he could no longer take it. He was near tears as he started to cry and mourn the loss of a child he had fathered before we had gotten married. I learned his ex had gotten an abortion when he had been out of town, even though HE WANTED THE CHILD. He feels a deep sense of loss over his murdered child and I know, even though we have a beautiful daughter together, he will always mourn for the child who was stolen from him. He will NEVER forget what his ex did and will always struggle to "forgive" her completely.</p>
<p>You are right Dr. Laura - a man will NEVER be friends with any woman who murders his child.</p>
<p>K.</p>
Staff
2012-04-11T21:37:00Z
Bullies Beware of Momma Bears
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bullies-Beware-of-Momma-Bears/634953244684690445.html
2012-04-10T23:01:00Z
2012-04-10T23:01:00Z
<p>I have listened to you my entire life and one thing that has always stuck in my head has been your mantra "I am my kid's mom."</p>
<p>I have been abused, used and traumatized my entire life, starting with an abusive and unloving mother and continuing on into adulthood. All this has left me fearful and timid. I have been diagnosed over my lifetime with almost the entire gambit of anxiety disorders. I am old companions with fight or flight, the later being the chosen path at every situation, except, where my daughter is involved. Then all the anger from my childhood comes to the surface and instead of a fearful timid cub, I am a growling, snarling momma bear. Today, was no different.</p>
<p>While on the way to the bus stop, I saw my daughter being taunted and teased by the neighborhood bully, he never saw me coming, but he heard me! My daughter got to witness the color quickly drain from the bully's face as I firmly told him to NEVER speak to my daughter again with loud clear small words so his puny little ego could understand. He looked as if he needed to go inside and change his pants as I finished. Then I left, and continued walking with my daughter to the bus stop, but instead of crying or being afraid, my daughter was ecstatic. Despite all my fears, she had seen once again that not only do I have her back in life, but when faced with protecting her, I was able to overcome my own anxieties and stand on firm ground and scare a bully. Her timid, fearful, tiny momma scared a bully!!! I told my daughter, you took back the power today, all you have to do is call 911 and you know momma will have your back in pressing charges if the bully ever tries to shove his weight around again.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura, even though I never had a mom to look to for advice, you were always there on the radio, conditioning my young plastic brain for the future, "I am my kid's mom, I am my kid's mom, I am my kid's mom!"...</p>
<p>Kris</p>
Staff
2012-04-10T23:01:00Z
Be Grateful for Dumb Women
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Be-Grateful-for-Dumb-Women/-195666437740548143.html
2012-04-10T22:58:00Z
2012-04-10T22:58:00Z
<p>Hi Dr Laura,</p>
<p>My first husband found love with his hairdresser after 12 years of marriage with me. I guess therapy was clearly showing his immaturity and he shacked up with a 28 year old, 15 years his junior. Maybe she made him feel more mature.</p>
<p>After years of praying for one dumb woman to let a good man go, I got a call from an old friend telling me how she was having a "torrid love affair with a doctor" and she was divorcing her husband. (The four of us go way back to the 80's when she and I were in nursing school together.) I loved my husband, but I knew the kind of man she had married: faithful, hardworking, and a fine father of 3. I called him to hear how 25 years of marriage can mean so little to a person. Well, Dr. Laura, he was a wreck. He was totally oblivious to her jaunts with the boyfriend, the doctor. (The safety and security of faithfulness is so important). He felt comfortable in opening up to me, especially with so much history of us all palling around together when we were single and then as the children came.</p>
<p>He told me they had one more counseling session and I was worried yet satisfied in feeling only the best would come from that session. What would be was meant to be. I prayed the entire time they were meeting. 30 minutes later, I received a call from him. The session went with her telling him she never loved him, thus setting him free, and for us to begin a new life together!!</p>
<p>Dr. Laura, we married and he is the best thing to ever happen to me. We have a beautiful life we are building together. He got his motorcycle license as I asked of him. We have a Harley which we have a blast on together. This man of mine has the most beautiful soul. He is kind and loves my kids as his own. He treats me like a princess and if I can make his life easy for him is justly deserves. We are in our early 50's and have finally found love and commitment the way it was intended to be.</p>
<p>I thank God everyday, especially for dumb women.</p>
<p>Most sincerely and thank you for all you do,</p>
<p>Gina</p>
Staff
2012-04-10T22:58:00Z
Taking a Stand
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-a-Stand/-90455126439300824.html
2012-04-09T19:41:00Z
2012-04-09T19:41:00Z
<p>Dr Laura,</p>
<p>Let me preface by saying your wisdom and outlook have changed my life for the better. I have bought and read The Proper Care and feeding of Husbands and have passed it on to many friends. That book has saved a few marriages in my family. Thank you.</p>
<p>I am happily married to a US Marine who is currently deployed. I am his girlfriend and I love him more than anything in this world. Today I saw a post on one of the deployment Facebook pages I subscribe to and there was a post from a woman who was seeking advice because her husband had cheated on her. He is now regretful and wants to work on the marriage when he gets home from deployment. She stated she is no longer in love with him and has a male friend she confides to and spends time with although they are "just friends". Not only that, she told her husband about this man. They have two small children and she is thinking of divorce. Me being me and having those beliefs you helped instill in me replied to the post. This is what I wrote...</p>
<p><em>"Be sweet. Go through the motions of being affectionate, attentive and loving. Keep doing it even when your head isn't in, because eventually it will be. Think back to the good times. Think back to when you would get yourself all dolled up and be excited to see him. If you go through the motions and get your mind set back to loving him, you will. Woman dictate the tempo. I agree counseling is necessary. But for now, put your best foot forward and support him."</em></p>
<p>Of course, I was blasted. So I then wrote...</p>
<p><em>"I am not going to apologize for believing in the sanctity of marriage. Cheating is hurtful and not ok, but I will not condone divorce when children are involved unless there is abuse and/or drug use. Those are my beliefs. Most things are fixabe in a marriage. You just have to put in the work. Having "outside" influences only strain the marriage so those things need to be eliminated by both of them. Children are the ones who suffer the most with divorce and if it can be avoided, then it should be. Marriage is not all rainbows and unicorns. It is hard work. It is just as easy to fall back in love if you put forth the effort. Throwing in the towel should not be your first instinct. Fighting to keep your family together should be. If more people put in the effort, there would be less divorce."</em></p>
<p>Again I was blasted by the other wives who were quick to support divorce.</p>
<p>I have always been one to speak my mind and to stand up for my beliefs. But I wanted to thank you for making me a better wife and mother and for instilling the right beliefs about marriage and mothering in me. My life is wonderful. Although I miss my husband, I conduct myself as if he is right by my side at all times. He is the love of my life. Thank you!</p>
<p>Jenn</p>
Staff
2012-04-09T19:41:00Z
Old Bad Habit, New Good Habit
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Old-Bad-Habit,-New-Good-Habit/287186830958974638.html
2012-04-09T19:37:00Z
2012-04-09T19:37:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am a fan of your podcasts and just finished <a href="/pg/jsp/charts/audioMaster.jsp?dispid=306&pid=88029">listening to a caller</a> that had a bad habit of scratching the inside of her cheek with her fingernail because of anxiety. Boy did that hit home! I turned the volume up and listened intently because this is the same problem I have been trying to deal with for the past 40+ years, starting in grade school with nail biting, migrating to junior high and high school with cuticle picking to the point of bleeding, then finally "homesteading" in adult life with lip/inside cheek biting. I have driven my husband and children crazy with this destructive behavior but didn't know what to do to stop! I have been more focused on trying to figure out the "why" rather than the "cure", until I listened to this call. After speaking with the caller, you figured out "why" she had this "bad habit" but more importantly, you taught her a "new habit" to help deal with her anxiety. I could just hear the anxiety melt from her voice as she tried this new technique! I tried this along with her and I could feel the anxiety melt from me as well! This "new habit" is something I will come to perfect and I can't wait to share it with my husband!</p>
<p>Thank you so much for your help and for all you do every day!</p>
<p>J.</p>
Staff
2012-04-09T19:37:00Z
Difficulty Making a Commitment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Difficulty-Making-a-Commitment/561437131695449846.html
2012-04-06T21:30:00Z
2012-04-06T21:30:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Recently you asked, "Some people have difficulty making a commitment to love. With what did you have to struggle before you made such a commitment?"<br /> <br />I started thinking about how to select a partner in junior high school. I then went to an all-boys high school, so not much happened there, but in college, I started looking in earnest. Once I met my future wife, I was not in a hurry, since I figured I should be on a two-year time table. My future wife, however, had never thought of getting married. Her aunt, who sold cosmetics, had made her think she was too ugly to ever find a husband. Furthermore, she was not impressed by the happiness of her parents, so she had pretty much decided she would never get married.</p>
<p>I made my interest known. We were happy dating, and even buying many airplane tickets to stay in touch when I transferred East and she transferred West. Once I decided she was the one, I started to work to convince her we would be good together. I showed her my parents' marriage and told her it was really quite good. At any rate, I finally got her to agree to marry me. We have now had 40 wonderful years together.</p>
<p>So, I guess I was determined to conquer her fear of commitment, and it was never a problem for me, since I found a wonderful person before getting tired of the search. I was a little lucky my thinking about the problem first helped me select a good person. I remember it really helping me avoid the most obvious pitfalls you often talk about.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Peter</p>
Staff
2012-04-06T21:30:00Z
Unbelievable Selfishness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Unbelievable-Selfishness/91169660005081523.html
2012-04-06T21:10:00Z
2012-04-06T21:10:00Z
<p>Let me start by saying I have a 1 1/2 year old daughter so I understand being a parent 24/7 is tough. But sometimes I am astounded by the selfishness I see from parents, especially mothers. Last night, after we dropped our daughter off with my mother, my husband and I went to see "The Hunger Games" with a group of friends. We were the first ones in the theater, which is always fun because I like to watch the various groups of people come in. One of the last groups to arrive was a mother and her young boy. He must have been around five years old.</p>
<p>I was a little shocked a parent would bring such a young child to see this particular movie. In my mind, it is nowhere near appropriate for anyone younger than a teenager. She happened to sit right behind us and I was thinking, "Well, this should be interesting." The very first preview shown was for a horror film. The little boy started staying, "Mommy, I'm scared. I don't want to be here." Her response was to shush him and say they weren't leaving.</p>
<p>As the movie played, he kept making comments about how he was scared or didn't like what he saw on the screen. His mother began to lose patience and kept shushing him. About a half hour before the movie ended, he started saying he needed to go to the bathroom. I couldn't believe it when she said to him, "I'm not taking you right now. You're just going to have to hold it." I was very tempted to turn around and tell the boy to pee his pants so his mother would have to deal with that. But I decided it probably wasn't the best thing to do.</p>
<p>As we were leaving the theater, I was again dumbfounded to see she wasn't even paying attention to him. She was on her cell phone, texting away. What has happened to the notion of being a good parent? Are we just at a point where kids are accessories and that's all?</p>
<p>Just a little food for thought.</p>
<p>Stephanie</p>
Staff
2012-04-06T21:10:00Z
A Real Man Would NEVER Put This Burden on his Wife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Real-Man-Would-NEVER-Put-This-Burden-on-his-Wife/-740356145783344329.html
2012-04-05T20:10:00Z
2012-04-05T20:10:00Z
<p>This is in response to the male needing his wife to cover up her breast cancer scars since they turn him off. I pity him.<br /><br />My first wife developed Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma in June of 1999. Her first battle was to remove the tumor in the sack surrounding her heart. That left us with a Hickman catheter - medical tubes with two 'ports' at the end coming out of her chest. I NEVER ONCE thought they were ugly. She was still the beautiful woman I married. I thanked God so often those days I think He tired of hearing my voice, yet He continued to love us and guide us through what was to come.</p>
<p>I developed an immense sense of honor for the courage my buddy showed. When she lost all her hair, I still thought she was the most beautiful woman I could ever love. When she lost her voice and I had to carry her around the house, my love for her had grown a thousand-fold from the day she had been diagnosed. It was a privilege and an honor to be her caregiver, her husband, her lover, best friend, her buddy, protector and all the other hats I got to wear. I would have traded places with her without thought and gladly taken on her pain and challenges.</p>
<p>I learned at 30 years old that love is a gift we give each other. It is a burning need to serve your partner. My buddy gave me her trust, her love, and handed me her life and heart to hold. With her gifts, I became a man and continue to learn from her to this day, despite God calling her home in January of 2002.</p>
<p>The front of my shirt is drenched from tears while writing this letter. I feel so much pity for the male who cannot see the gifts and lessons being offered to him by God. I feel sad for his wife who has one more burden to bear - one she does not deserve and one a real man - one who loved her - would NEVER allow her to carry. I wish I could offer his wife a hug and tell her how proud I was of her.</p>
<p>The outside package does not matter where love is true and strong. Love is, at its core, the most selfless gift you can give to another.</p>
<p>Colin</p>
Staff
2012-04-05T20:10:00Z
I Hope It's Not Too Late
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Hope-Its-Not-Too-Late/-46205321714769427.html
2012-04-05T19:22:00Z
2012-04-05T19:22:00Z
<p>My husband and I are going through a very rough patch right now and I am afraid it will not end well. I haven't talked to any one about it except telling a friend we were having problems. She recommended "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage." I went to a bookstore today to pick up a copy, but when I brought the book home I realized it was "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." I started reading the book out of boredom thinking of taking it back in the morning and exchanging it. While reading it, I realized this was not a mistake - this was God or my guardian angel's way of waking me up and helping me realize how stupid and wrong I have been for the past 7 years of marriage. I hope I am not too late to change the selfish and ignorant way I have been and to appreciate, respect and love this wonderful guy I have been letting down all this time. In chapter two and every single story, I have been involved in: I try to make him perfect for me; or criticize everything: nag, bitch, complain about everything and anything stupid; and on top of it, expect to be treated like a queen and a goddess when I haven't been doing anything to deserve it.</p>
<p>He is away for training now and doesn't come back until next Friday. I sent him a message, asking to give me some time before he gives up on me completely and I am praying very hard he gives me that time. I wish someone had given me this book before I got married; it would have been an eye opener and I wouldn't be in this situation right now.</p>
<p>Ana</p>
Staff
2012-04-05T19:22:00Z
Memories of Mrs. Maple
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Memories-of-Mrs.-Maple/-37567605242914236.html
2012-04-04T22:37:00Z
2012-04-04T22:37:00Z
<p>What will I remember and miss about Mrs. Maple, also known as Miss Paula? (I was never able to adopt the latter title because I always held her in such esteem the more formal title was the only one acceptable.)</p>
<p>I don't think I ever ran into her when she didn't have an immediate smile. Her love for God and others shone so brightly I was surprised to learn she was actually 71 - in my mind she was much younger. Obviously love is a great way to turn back the hands of time.</p>
<p>She held her husband in the noble regard often disregarded today. She always referred to him as Dr. Maple or The Good Doctor. I was always surprised when someone referred to Dr. Maple as "Ted." I always thought, "Who's Ted? You mean DR. Maple!?"</p>
<p>When her grandchildren were born, she brought pictures to share as all grandparents do. Yet, she rejoiced when others had children and grandchildren. Jealousy was never her companion.</p>
<p>She offered timeless advice about being a good wife and mother and offered it in such a manner I was never offended. Once, when we were neighbors, she dropped by on a Monday evening and said, "We missed you at church last night." I said friends had come to visit, to which she replied, "When we had company drop by on a Sunday, I would say, 'We're on our way to church. Won't you come with us?'" She knew how to prioritize.</p>
<p>When I think of her, I picture the color pink: the pink-carpeted bathroom in the house, her pale-pink lipstick and her flowers. I can see her wearing her floppy hat to protect her skin as she gardened in the yard or at the church. I remember her laughter which was accompanied by a twinkle in her eyes.</p>
<p>Getting dressed for most of us is just something we do, a menial task. She viewed getting dressed as an occasion! I cannot recall her looking frumpy or even average - she always wore the best outfit which, of course, was a ladylike skirt.</p>
<p>She was an indefatigable night owl. What a comfort it was when rocking a baby in the middle of the night to look across the way and see her light on. She was a seamstress and a pilot, earning her pilot's license before the ‘Good Doctor,’ if memory serves me correctly.</p>
<p>She was always late to ladies' Bible class and was never flustered when she made her entrance. She'd take her seat and offer sound counsel. She always contributed to the church potluck with a small side dish of something healthy, not the oversize Crockpot of grease and sugar. Even her foibles were graceful!</p>
<p>She was God's partner: when she said she'd pray for you, you never doubted she would pray - faithfully. She never lost the sense of wonderment that many shed upon entering adulthood. May we all rejoice in daily living as she did.</p>
Staff
2012-04-04T22:37:00Z
Adjusting to Motherhood!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Adjusting-to-Motherhood!/-783496638057791159.html
2012-04-04T22:36:00Z
2012-04-04T22:36:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>After hearing your comments regarding the adjustment time it takes to motherhood, I have to say thank you!</p>
<p>I am a very happily married mother of 2 young (and VERY BUSY!!!!) boys! I was happy to hear the adjustment period is normal! It's definitely something that scared me with my first! I had always wanted to be a SAHM with my kids and I was not lucky to have one, although I had a very hard working mom!</p>
<p>I wanted to SHOUT at the radio and say, "Caller, you aren't alone girl!"</p>
<p>The adjustment period was very difficult for me, BUT after that initial 'hump', things made a complete 180 degree turn around! I LOVE being my kids' mom and watching them grow and progress!</p>
<p>I've also admitted to my husband "I WANT 3 MORE!!"</p>
<p>Thank you!</p>
<p>Meghan</p>
Staff
2012-04-04T22:36:00Z
There ARE Good Guys Out There
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/There-ARE-Good-Guys-Out-There/404978862659914621.html
2012-04-03T23:21:00Z
2012-04-03T23:21:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura -</p>
<p>I have been a listener for nearly 20 years and am a huge fan, but work full-time and don't get a chance to listen very often. Today I decided to run an errand during lunchtime and in the short time it took to drive there and back I was able to tune in to a few commercials and one call on your show. The call was from a man who explained in great detail his wife's bout with breast cancer, her troubles with implants, and his support of her not having drastic reconstructive surgery. I wasn't sure where he was going with his call, but then he dropped the bomb and asked how he is supposed to have sex with his wife when she won't cover up and the appearance of her scars is "Godawful." Really? Did he just repeat over and over his wife's appearance was "Godawful?" I called him names out loud in my car as I held back tears. I instantly felt so sad for his wife; that she is married to such a selfish ass and at the same time so grateful for my loving and supportive husband.</p>
<p>At the age of 32, I was diagnosed with breast cancer, just 6 months after my husband and I were married. I didn't have a mastectomy, but a large portion of my breast was removed, including my lymph nodes, which left me with a scar from my armpit to my nipple and also left my breasts two very different sizes. I am self-conscious about it, but not once in the last 15 years has my husband ever expressed any problems with looking at my body. He's never asked me to cover up, in fact, just the opposite. I always knew he was my angel and an amazing husband, and I am still so thankful for him everyday so thankful I picked the right guy. There ARE good guys out there. My heart goes out to the wife of this "man." I hope she has a larger support system to help her.</p>
<p>Thank you for all that you do and all that you are. You came into my life many years ago and helped me change it and I am forever grateful.</p>
<p>Kristin</p>
Staff
2012-04-03T23:21:00Z
Her Beautiful Scar
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Her-Beautiful-Scar/872818345379050363.html
2012-04-03T23:18:00Z
2012-04-03T23:18:00Z
<p>Dear Dr Laura,<br /> <br />I'm writing in response to a call from "Jim" that I heard on my way home from work earlier this afternoon (April 2nd). I'm in a very similar situation and was interested to hear where his call was going. I was equally appalled as he revealed his dilemma: He couldn't have sex with his wife unless she covered her scarred breasts from surgeries with a t-shirt. </p>
<p>My wife of almost 22 years was diagnosed with an early stage of breast cancer called DCIS one year ago. After 3 major surgeries, including a full mastectomy on the right side, I am happy to say we beat it. She did not have any reconstructive surgery. Every night when we go to bed and I see her beautiful scar, I thank God for mammograms, incredible doctors and my even more incredible wife. Words cannot express how much I love her, our 3 wonderful kids and the life we live, together.</p>
<p>Thank you for always inspiring us to do the right thing.</p>
<p>Most sincerely,</p>
<p>Mark</p>
Staff
2012-04-03T23:18:00Z
Texting While Driving
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Texting-While-Driving/676507870765307608.html
2012-04-02T23:01:00Z
2012-04-02T23:01:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I felt compelled to send this email to you as I know you have spoken about the dangers of texting while driving. Below is the email and link to a video I received (recorded by a police cam that was directly behind the vehicle):</p>
<p>Not only should it remind us of the consequences involved with distracted driving but also how quickly bad things can happen. The sickening feeling you'll get from watching the video is much easier to take knowing that sharing this and other similar may prevent similar incidents.</p>
<p>Thanks to D. Norton for this Safety Share:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">It was determined after the accident the driver of the SUV was texting right up until the crash. If you think that big vehicles will protect you when you're texting. WATCH THIS! And most importantly, share it with your friends and family. Folks, texting and driving is STUPID. And, I'm not sorry if that hurts your feelings. I might just save MY life in saying it.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><a href="http://rmirror.net/r/videos/comments/q5hu9/car_accident_nsfl/" target="_blank">http://rmirror.net/r/videos/comments/q5hu9/car_accident_nsfl/</a></p>
<p>I hope this might reiterate the dangers of texting while driving!</p>
<p>Best regards,</p>
<p>Mary</p>
Staff
2012-04-02T23:01:00Z
Men Are Physically Stronger, Get Over It!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Men-Are-Physically-Stronger,-Get-Over-It!/-728680681555934776.html
2012-04-02T22:59:00Z
2012-04-02T22:59:00Z
<p>I e-mailed my fiancé from work relaying what I had just experienced in a team meeting.</p>
<p>At the end of the meeting, I mentioned I wish there had been more men available for our full-scale exercise to help us move all the heavy stuff. Not only did the two women turn on me, they exclaimed they were strong, didn't need men to help and they had accomplished it without men in the past! Even more shocking, the men in the room defended them! They seemed so offended when I said we have to face it, men are built to be physically stronger.</p>
<p>I told my fiancé I just didn't understand how we've gotten to the point we can't even acknowledge what is basic human fact. I said I would rather let a man open the pickle jar or move heavy things than to kill myself just to prove a point. We don't celebrate men enough anymore. We want to turn them into women and that's just gross. He responded, "I love you. Plain and simple." That put the biggest smile on my face! When I was a young girl, I was a junior feminist but thankfully I grew out of it. A few years ago, my dad gave me your book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". My fiancé will be well taken care of because of you! He wasn't so happy I listened to you when he wasn't used to opening doors, but he loves I treat him like a man and in turn, he treats me like a queen. Thank you for all you do!</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Beth</p>
<p>PS- I'm getting married in September! I can't wait!</p>
Staff
2012-04-02T22:59:00Z
When Daddy's Around, She Has No Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-Daddys-Around,-She-Has-No-Mother/-693238889252280428.html
2012-03-30T16:27:00Z
2012-03-30T16:27:00Z
<p>Before my husband and I had children we discussed the importance of the father/daughter relationship. We decided we would be purposeful from the get-go on how we raised our daughter if we ever were to have one. Now, I am the mother of a five-year-old beautiful, spunky daughter who barely even knows I exist. My husband and daughter share inside jokes, go on father/daughter camp outs (to give Mommy some alone time), and I even catch him teaching her about nature and how the world works! Daddy is the ONLY one who can tuck her in at night, brush her teeth and give her a bath. Once when she was three, my husband, daughter and other children were playing "Ring Around the Rosey." The game stopped and a little boy blurted out, while pointing at my daughter, "I'm going to marry her!" My husband looked at that little boy and firmly said, "Ha, you're going to have to get through me first!" He's already teaching her what kind of lifelong companion she should be on the look out for! In return for all of this I am blessed with a self-assured, confident young lady who is learning morals, values and that she has purpose. So yes, when daddy's around, she has no mother - just the way I like it!</p>
<p>What's the cherry on top? My one-year-old SON is watching this very important relationship unfold (and yes, I catch him watching his daddy). I'll bet he mimics his father if or when he has his own daughter. My husband is truly leaving behind a legacy.</p>
<p>Traci</p>
Staff
2012-03-30T16:27:00Z
Anxiety and Perfectionism
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Anxiety-and-Perfectionism/-734443035078673838.html
2012-03-30T16:25:00Z
2012-03-30T16:25:00Z
<p>Experience anxiety? Yes. I think it may be related to perfectionism. I grew up in a household with a narcissistic, anxious, mother who would self-medicate with alcohol and prescription drugs. Dad would just avoid her by being a workaholic and devoting himself to the family business. I learned to cope by doing whatever it took to keep Mother on an even keel. When she would come into the family room where I was studying with a basketful of clothes to be folded, she would dump them on the sofa with a heavy sigh. That was my cue. I would put aside my studies to take care of the clothes, so she wouldn't be upset later. Same with weekend house cleaning. I would always help her first, otherwise I was worried she would be anxious if I didn't help her. Today, I experience anxiety on the job and at home.</p>
<p>I never had children so, fortunately, I am not harming them. But I do have a husband who I worry I may be driving crazy. My husband is retired and has no concerns about being neat and organized. I, on the other hand, am compulsive about it. But, with the demands of my job, I cannot keep my house neat and orderly as when I was single and especially with him being messy and disorganized. I would have to work at it everyday to keep it at my level of standards. I have learned to let things go, but when my husband gets frustrated when he can't find something, I get mad of myself because if I had everything organized he could find it. I even confessed to a priest I was sorry I was always angry at my husband for not being neat and organized. He said with a gleam in his eye, "Maybe your husband is your penance." Perhaps this is true. God put us together for a reason, I need to relax and not worry about the insignificant things in life.</p>
<p>But, my thoughts keep going back to my mother who went from a neat-freak to a compulsive shopper and hoarder. In the end, it was I who suffered her wrath when we cleaned out her house to put it on the market to afford her assisted living costs. This further traumatized me. My parents did not plan for their elder care. Dad was in a nursing home, although he was a WWII veteran, he needed government assistance to cover the cost. My sister had died of breast cancer at the age of 52. This sister, who had been mother's primary caretaker, placated Mother's behavior for years. My father and sister died within a month to the day of each other. Mother lived for two more years in assisted living, during this time I had nothing but demands from her. She was back to abusing alcohol at the assisted living facility which they called me about even after having a stroke and numerous medical problems. At her hospital death bed, she refused to see my brother with whom she had an estranged relationship and never forgave for "taking things from her house" when he helped me clean it out. My oldest sister, who lived out of state, didn't want to deal with her at all. Her last words were before she went into a coma, was "I want my house." She died of sepsis at the age of 82. My brother died of cardiac arrest less than a year later at the age of 58. Yes, he too, in the past, abused alcohol and drugs, He had health problems, but I know he was in deep, emotional pain over his relationship with both of my parents. I often wonder if his death it was related to my mother's behavior toward him in the end.</p>
<p>She has been deceased for nearly three years, yet I still suffer with the anxiety of what I should have done and could have done, differently. I feel sad for my three older siblings who also suffered. I thank the Lord for my very patient husband who reminds me we had to do what we had to do for her well-being that we did the right thing. I guess what it boils down to, is somehow I feel like I let her down. I know I have to let go of this mindset. Maybe this is what's carried over into my life. I have to be perfect at work and at home or I will be a disappointment and I won't be loved. I am still trying to win her love and approval and I have got to stop. Most of all, I don't want to be like her narcissistic and incapable of love.</p>
<p>To help with anxiety? I use prayer, and meditation, journal writing, bird watching, exercise, and art (painting). I also started listening to your show again on podcasts while I walk. Thank you for your wisdom and voice of reason. Now, I need a good cry...</p>
<p>God Bless You,</p>
<p>J.</p>
Staff
2012-03-30T16:25:00Z
Not Enforcing Rules
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Not-Enforcing-Rules/958131539846789638.html
2012-03-29T23:58:00Z
2012-03-29T23:58:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>As an administrator at a small charter school, I am constantly amazed at the liberal mindedness of our educators and parents. At a school where high standards have been in place for 4 years that resulted in making AYP each year, a waiting list of 400 students, making an A+ on the state report card and having the highest test scores in the state, our new Director believes rules regarding dress code, discipline, being to school on time and prepared, gum chewing, hats in class and leniency should not be enforced. He and many like him believe high test scores, motivated and well-behaved students are not a result of consistent policies and procedures but pure luck. He believes "children should want to come to school and enforcing rules is not motivating."</p>
<p>New parents to our school disregard school start times and end times, homework and class work expectations and want their children to be given every opportunity to redo work, turn it in late and demand apologies when their children's' feelings are hurt. I am talking about 6-12 graders! I am sorry, but the world has rules, people need to be to work on time and children need to be able to make decisions and suffer consequences for those decisions. Parents need to stop running interference for their children.</p>
<p>I can't help but compare our Director and governing council to our current politicians who don't enforce policies and procedures that are already in place, condemn those who do try to enforce those rules and pick and choose which rules to enforce depending on the individual circumstance. The actions of our politicians and business leaders have plummeted downstream to our young people, our educators and our local decision makers. We are becoming a society of "do only what is required" and "go along to get along." When I question authority, speak out against injustice and defend my practices, I am considered adversarial, argumentative and frankly, a bitch by many. I just hope there are many like me who choose to stand firm in their beliefs and maintain a strong moral compass during these times of degradation.</p>
<p>Thank you for being a voice of reason each day.</p>
<p>M.</p>
Staff
2012-03-29T23:58:00Z
This is Your Brain on Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/This-is-Your-Brain-on-Love/730959540086458776.html
2012-03-29T23:55:00Z
2012-03-29T23:55:00Z
<p>Recently Dr. Laura asked on her <a href="http://www.facebook.com/drlaura" target="_blank">Facebook page</a>: <em>"Love can change the wiring in your brain. How has being in love changed you?" </em></p>
<p>Here are only some of your responses:</p>
<p><br /><strong>Terran:</strong> I did not know what love truly did to someone, until I found the love of my life:) Being with him has made me want to be a better me, and do better in life. He is teaching me to grow, be positive, not be so-o dependent on him for fun (like get a hobby Terran!) He's taught me patience (That is a biggie for me!) And also to think logically, not emotionally! Love can do so many wonderful things if you let yourself feel it.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Spidder:</strong> Knowing the smartest best person I know loves me with all his might has made me a lot more confident and secure. Loving him back is a pleasure that I will cherish. Knowing he loves me gives me the strength to let the idiots that want to try to bug me NOT bug me because their opinion just does not matter to me.</p>
<p><br /><strong>Maggie:</strong> Love saved my life, and it's hard to know what you are missing until you have it. I was deeply depressed in my first "marriage," we were very selfish and self-centered together. I was never truly happy until I found a man who truly wanted to make me happy and I completely respect him. I also returned to my faith in God, whom I had been neglecting for about 15 years. With two young boys now, all I have to do is play with them for a few minutes, and I am instantly in a better mood!</p>
<p><br /><strong>Deborah:</strong> I think just the 37 years we've been together, the love part has aged us in a way where we have LEARNED to be better, get along, and go with the flow; whereas years ago... we were kinda snarky with each other! LOL!</p>
<p><br /><strong>Terri:</strong> Love has been the perfect mirror. My love's been the other, better half of me. He helps me be the best I can, and the love I see returned is all the reward I need. The perfect and never-ending cycle, love given and returned, which multiplies and forms a family!</p>
<p><br /><strong>Alyssa:</strong> Growing up in a very loveless childhood made me feel like there was something wrong with me, like I was unloveable. But after years, I found a man who taught me what true gentle love is. He asks nothing in return and does not try to change who I am. He has taught me there was nothing wrong with me and in return I have learned how to love him and my children in a way I never knew existed! True love asks nothing in return. It does not try to change the other person just simply accepts who they are and loves them through the good and the bad. I know I am a better more gentler person for it!<br /><br /><br />Read more or add your own at: <a href="http://www.facebook.com/drlaura" target="_blank">Facebook.com/DrLaura</a></p>
Staff
2012-03-29T23:55:00Z
A Lesson in Kindness
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Lesson-in-Kindness/-645345429160924006.html
2012-03-28T22:47:00Z
2012-03-28T22:47:00Z
<p>My 5 year old grandson attends a Catholic school. His Mother came to pick him up and noticed a Dad was removing the pink polo type shirt his son had been dressed in that day. The little boy was crying.</p>
<p>My daughter in law asked, "Mike, why are you crying" and he responded the boys in the class had make fun of him for wearing the pink shirt. My daughter in law said, "I hope my son was not one of those boys." Mike told her indeed he had made fun of Mike. My daughter in law then verified with the teacher what had happened and made her plan to teach my grandson a leason.</p>
<p>My grandson had his own pink polo shirt at home and my daughter in law made him wear it to school the next day. He also had to apologize to Mike and given him a big hug. My grandson also received some teasing about his pink shirt at school. Hopefully he learned a leason about kindness and not hurting the feelings of others.</p>
<p>Kathy </p>
Staff
2012-03-28T22:47:00Z
Forging Relationships with Daughters
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Forging-Relationships-with-Daughters/329492673222298816.html
2012-03-28T22:45:00Z
2012-03-28T22:45:00Z
<p>My husband has forged close relationships with all 4 of our daughters (our 3 sons too for that matter). He has done this by participating in their care as infants, talking to them, playing with them, teaching them, and just generally interacting with them. As they grew, he participated in their sports activities and other projects. He had funny pet names for them, and teased them and their friends too. Now that 3 of our daughters are married with children, he has become another shoulder for them to lean on when they need any help with anything. He supports their husbands in their endeavors by being available when needed. (We are no help financially - we scrape by as it is.) He's more available than I am since I still work as a Home Health RN so he babysits if needed. One of the daughters is divorced and Poppers is there to help with her son and do "guy things" with him. Our eldest daughter is mentally disabled and lives at home with us. She has a good sense of humor and teases her dad too. Our 3 sons are married with children also and Poppers has another generation of children to play with and tease and teach. He's still a big kid himself.</p>
<p>We've been married almost 50 years (Aug. 25) and we're still very actively involved with life and work and hobbies. Our children are our friends and we are very proud of them and their families. Six of them have college degrees and several with advanced degrees. It is wonderful to see them instilling values and modeling integrity in and for their own children.</p>
<p>Not only has he done this for our own children, but he was a model for my daughters’ (and sons’) friends by being available and being a real man who took care of business and could still be "cool" while other fathers were involved with alcohol, drugs, and new wives who had no room for step-children - or who wielded power by heavy handedness and unreasonable "rules."</p>
<p>Toni</p>
Staff
2012-03-28T22:45:00Z
What Happened to Women?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-Happened-to-Women/-261477857030297932.html
2012-03-27T22:45:00Z
2012-03-27T22:45:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>The letter "<a href="/b/Men-Are-Not-Disposable/-695083354718779931.html">Men Are Not Disposable</a>" hit home and brought tears to me eyes. I am in a very similar circumstance right now. I tried to "eat dirt" but after 8 years of trying I could not anymore. I began to stand up for myself and demand I be treated with, love, dignity, and respect. My situation was slightly different in that my wife suffered from a disability where I cared for her for over two years while she was confined to a hospital bed. I still worked a full time job, took care of the home, and raised four children. When my wife went into a "semi-remission" she began to choose what and who to spend her time and energy on. I was not high on that list and it soon became obvious I was disposable. In our final "discussion" before it all went south, I asked my wife for just 30 minutes of her time a week for love and affection (yes, dare I say SEX) and she refused. I then asked her, "Is our marriage not worth 30 minutes a week?" And with the coldest look I have ever witnessed she replied, "If you put it that way, NO".</p>
<p>She soon moved out and took the children while blaming me and even called me a "narcissistic nymphomaniac" for wanting to have sex more than once every 8 years! What nerve she has after I cared for her and took care of the children for years.</p>
<p>She moved in with her parents and then they forbid me to come on the property. The only way I can see my children is to get divorced so I will have an enforceable court order. (I live in a state where there is no legal separation) So today, my attorney has filed for a divorce.</p>
<p>Men are not disposable but this generation of women are lost I am afraid.</p>
<p>Scott</p>
Staff
2012-03-27T22:45:00Z
Standing Up to a Bully
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Standing-Up-to-a-Bully/498352053150790507.html
2012-03-27T22:41:00Z
2012-03-27T22:41:00Z
<p>When my daughter had a birthday, I invited her class at her Montessori. Traditional Montessoris use a mixed age classroom so she had lots of different aged kids in her class. It was the start of the school year so I was meeting some parents for the 1st time. One little boy's mom and dad came up to introduce themselves saying, "Oh, we had to come to Amelia's birthday! She's a hero in our house!" They then related on the first day of school, a bigger boy had pushed their son out of line to take his place. My daughter took the younger boy's hand and told the bully he couldn't do that and he needed to go to the end of the line. The mom saw it all.</p>
<p>I felt like they had given ME the birthday gift of a wonderful glimpse of who my daughter was becoming. And by the way, I asked her about what she'd done and she brushed it off as no big deal!</p>
<p>A.</p>
Staff
2012-03-27T22:41:00Z
Tired Husband's List
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Tired-Husbands-List/-388465772927630928.html
2012-03-26T21:00:00Z
2012-03-26T21:00:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura</p>
<p>I have been married 19 years have 7 and 12 year old daughters. My wife is a stay at home Mom. I have given up on being happy in my marriage for many of the reasons you are constantly dealing with on your program. My wife constantly asks me "what is wrong?" I just say "I am tired" I cannot tell her, I have tried and it falls on deaf ears so I wrote this list. I have not given it to her but maybe you can give it to the millions of married women that listen to your show.</p>
<p><br />I'm Tired</p>
<p>1) I'm tired of fighting to have the kids eat a banana for a snack instead of ice cream, or something little like turning unused lights off.<br />2) I'm tired of being told I don't do enough around the house that I work to pay for us to live in. I do help, "enough" - I just don't know what "enough" means.<br />3) I'm tired of working late only to come to bed with a dog and child in my place.<br />4) I'm tired of 90% of my opinions being belittled, criticized or dismissed and then being told I never want to talk.<br />5) I'm tired of being told we never talk.<br />6) I'm tired of being told "that's what it takes" when it comes to household expenditures with no thought given to "that's what we have".<br />7) I'm tired of living in what amounts to a "strip club," where you see a naked woman, but can't touch her.<br />8) I'm tired of my "tone" of my words trumping my "content" of them.<br />9) I'm tired of being told "stop talking to your daughter as if she is a teenager" and now that she is close to being a teenager living a level of disrespect no adult should have to suffer at the hands of a "tween."<br />10) I'm tired of my spouse more worried about the "details of life" rather than "living life"<br />11) I'm tired of my few interests in life being made fun of and belittled / called unimportant.<br />12) I 'm tired of having the first thing come out of her mouth when I wake up, or get home, is what is wrong with our lives.<br />13) I'm tired of my family having no concept of what it takes to keep us in the place we are in this world, but only complaining about what is missing.<br />14) Finally, I'm tired of fighting my desire to leave, and not be "tired" anymore. This would surely destroy my children, and cuts to the core of what I think a good man is: one who doesn't care how hard life is because responsibility comes first. So I am going to be miserable, stay.. and continue to be "tired."</p>
<p>Rob</p>
Staff
2012-03-26T21:00:00Z
Appreciation for Executors on Wills
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Appreciation-for-Executors-on-Wills/370618829097762637.html
2012-03-26T15:15:00Z
2012-03-26T15:15:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>When my grandparents passed away within 9 months of each other in 2005, my mother was the executor of their will, which stated the estate was to be split 3 ways, 1/3 to my mother, 1/3 to her sister and 1/3 to be split by the 3 grandchildren (me, my brother and my cousin). I had no idea how much work could be involved in handling someone's estate. It took my mother an hour a night, 5 days per week for a year. Not counting all the phone calls, faxes, mailings etc to deal with all the paperwork between where we live, where my aunt lives and where my grandparents had lived.</p>
<p>At the end, she told me that it was common practice for the executor to get a fee but she wasn't going to take one. I was astonished, she willingly gave up that fee she was entitled to and no one in our family would have objected to. However, she wanted everyone to get as much of their "share" as possible. So, at my step-dad's suggestion, the rest of us got together and had an enormous Christmas floral arrangement, which came in a gorgeous stone vase and had several reusable elements to it, delivered to her at her office. We included a nice card thanking her for her time and efforts and she was so shocked! She called me crying, just so happy we had all noticed her hard work. After that, every year at Christmas time she was able to put the resuable elements in the vase she kept out year round and was reminded of our appreciation for her. I'm so glad we did this as my mom was unexpectedly diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease in 2009 and passed away herself only 8 months later.<br /> <br />I feel so sad when I hear of family's fighting over wills, shares, things. That kind of behavior completely dishonors the life and legacy of the ones who have gone and damages remaining relationships, sometimes beyond repair. And for what? stuff? money? You can't take any of that with you. I would certainly rather have my Mom back than any of the jewelry and other things she left me.</p>
<p>Thanks for everything Dr Laura!</p>
<p>Mindy</p>
Staff
2012-03-26T15:15:00Z
Men Are Not Disposable
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Men-Are-Not-Disposable/-695083354718779931.html
2012-03-23T15:02:00Z
2012-03-23T15:02:00Z
<p>I have been listening to your radio program (via podcast) for about a year now and I have to say I appreciate how you defend married men and explain our point of view in a clear and convincing way to women. I have also been reading your book, The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands, which is just more confirmation for me about how my wife has neglected me for the past 8 years.</p>
<p>We got married 10 years ago. About two years later, we had the first of 2 babies and I noticed an immediate change in my wife. She claimed she had post-partum depression, which was probably true, but our relationship was never the same. Over the next few years, I sensed so much anger from her, but she wouldn't talk about it. She would often snap at me, criticize the pettiest things and be cold emotionally. Our sex life dwindled to next to nothing; she didn't want to talk and wouldn't make any effort to make me feel like I mattered to her. I was made to feel like a jerk if I asked for anything - requests for time or a date were clearly an imposition. In the meantime, I showered her with love, affection, special surprises and gifts; often told her how beautiful I thought she was. During these years, she started counseling (going on 8 years now), even resisted spending time with our kids and seemed to resent me for having the interest and skills to be an at-home dad. I have now been an at-home dad for 7 years and nothing has given me more satisfaction in my life, however my wife's opinion has been I should want to do more with my life rather than expressing respect and appreciation for taking care of our family.</p>
<p>We started some marital counseling about 3 years ago. It took weeks for her agree to spend just 10 minutes a day talking with me, but it seemed to be done out of obligation, not a desire to connect. Over time, she made it clear my (normal marital) expectations of her for time, intimacy, sex, etc. were unreasonable and she could not and would not try to meet them. We eventually gave up on counseling and agreed to just co-parent as long as I would have no marital expectations at all. Things actually improved for awhile, but then I started to have expectations again and that was the beginning of the end.</p>
<p>I have only wanted to love my wife and have her admire me for who I am. What I have received in return is anger and resentment. I am a kind, thoughtful person. I know I am not a perfect person and admit to my faults, but at least I have tried very hard to connect with her and to make her a priority in my life. She has routinely accused me of being insensitive and selfish which is ironic because that's how I see her. She has only tried to make me feel like I'm an obligation, my needs are too much for her and her unhappiness is my fault. I bought into some of this for awhile, but when I realized she was wrong and her comments about me were untrue, I started standing up for myself and my kids more. That's when her response was a request for a divorce.</p>
<p>This woman, who I had planned to spend the rest of my life with and once would have laid down my life for, has decided being a wife is too much of an obligation. I never abused her, rarely raised my voice to her and always tried to make our relationship a priority, but after we had kids, she lost interest and decided I wasn't worth it anymore. She is so angry with my "behavior" (wanting a mutually loving relationship) that she can no longer be with me. I am so sad my two beautiful girls have to come from a broken family now because my soon-to-be ex-wife can't figure out how to be a wife and mother at the same time. Somewhere, she got it in her head men don't have to be treated with dignity and respect and we are disposable. I suppose it comes from her abusive childhood, but I wish she could accept that, take responsibility for what she's doing now, and allow herself to be happy.</p>
<p>Dr. Laura, thank you for helping me understand that what I have been wanting and needing over the last 8 years is normal and I shouldn't feel guilty for wanting a wife who pays attention to me, appreciates me and is proud to be married to me. I guess pushing a baby out of a vagina is reason enough for many women to decide their man doesn't matter anymore. I plan to take care of my kids, not remarry until they are grown and support my kids' relationship with their mother, but I am deeply saddened it has come to this. Please keep up your great work in support of men like me and educating women on what simple creatures we really are. Just admire us, appreciate us and give us affection and we are like putty in your hands - it really is that simple... or that difficult for some apparently...</p>
<p>Mark</p>
Staff
2012-03-23T15:02:00Z
Husband's Pants on the Chair
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Husbands-Pants-on-the-Chair/-545432909464900378.html
2012-03-23T14:58:00Z
2012-03-23T14:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br /> <br />I was listening to your program as I was making a 500 mile drive by myself to visit my son who is in the USCG station in Oregon. You were talking to a <a href="/pg/jsp/charts/audioMaster.jsp?dispid=306&pid=87853">woman who was complaining</a> about her husband leaving his pants on the chair, not picking up after himself. What I would give to clean up after my husband. You see we were married 35 years. In March of 2010 he was diagnosed with lung cancer that had already spread to his bones. He fought for 5 nightmarish months, dying August 18, 2010. He wasn't perfect either, neither am I, but we had a great marriage.<br /> <br />I was crying as I was driving. Saying what you said before You did.</p>
<p>Appreciate every minute with each other because you never know what tomorrow will bring. I saved some of his shirts, I'm going to make a quilt out of them to keep me warm.<br /> <br />God Bless you Dr. Laura you made the long drive bearable.</p>
<p>Carol</p>
Staff
2012-03-23T14:58:00Z
When Parents Are Bullies
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/When-Parents-Are-Bullies/620304563531402415.html
2012-03-23T02:26:00Z
2012-03-23T02:26:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>The recent <a href="/b/Dont-Stand-By-and-Do-Nothing/759085807003720436.html" target="_blank">e-mail of the day regarding kids standing up to bullies </a>really struck a nerve today, of all days, as I have just returned from yet another of my kids' soccer tournament. You see, not only am I a soccer mom, but I am also a coach's wife and, in my capacity of ardent team parent and lover of the game, I have gotten a front row seat to the spectacle parents make of themselves on the sidelines. I have witnessed name-calling, screaming, abuse heaped on players, coaches, referees, or other parents.... and we other spectators all shake our heads and say nothing. We do nothing. We allow adults to bully, to belittle, to insult, to abuse kids, sometimes as young as 7.</p>
<p>So, the next time I hear a parent complain about bullying in the school, I will ask if they stand up to the bullies on the sidelines. I will ask what THEY have done to prevent the bullying of younger players. I intend to ask athletic directors, school board members, and school principals what THEY have done to curb the bullying of students by the adults. If adults do not have the courage to protect children, we should not be surprised if the children are too cowardly to stand up to bullying in school. Kids won't do what we tell them, they will do what we show them. I promise you that I will no longer remain passive.</p>
<p>(And just in case you wanted to know, our soccer club parent police each other from the sidelines and do not allow any negative comments. We DID stand up to our OWN bullies and they have learned to keep their mouths shut.)</p>
<p>Fran</p>
Staff
2012-03-23T02:26:00Z
The Power of a Female
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Power-of-a-Female/712309286182828960.html
2012-03-23T02:22:00Z
2012-03-23T02:22:00Z
<p>All I could do was laugh and think of your book, “Woman Power”. My son has a Weimaraner (a female named Bella) who visits his tenant’s Basset (a male named Jake) who alas is on a chain while Bella is free to roam. They were playing with a tennis ball and mostly Jake was chasing Bella to get it. She got distracted and dropped the ball so dear Jake stole it and returned to his outdoors cushion with it. Bella tried to grab it, but Jake wouldn’t let it go. After a few minutes Bella decided she would try another tactic and headed to the edge of where Jake’s chain reached and decided to drop a little piddle over there… Guess what the typical male Jake did???? Dropped the ball and went to investigate. Bella the very wise female ran over, grabbed the ball and merrily on her way! If I hadn’t been standing there I wouldn’t have believed it… I will never look at this female doggie the same way again!</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Vicki</p>
Staff
2012-03-23T02:22:00Z
Christianity and Self-pleasure
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Christianity-and-Self-pleasure/136935880422552838.html
2012-03-21T20:44:00Z
2012-03-21T20:44:00Z
<p>You had a call from a divorced father who came home early from work and his 17-year-old daughter was masturbating with her door open. He stated he was a born-again Christian and he believed it was wrong and self-abuse.</p>
<p>I wanted to make it clear "born-again" or "evangelical" or "conservative" Christians are NOT unified on this. Check with Focus on the Family founder Dr. James Dobson, for example. Most Christian commentators do say that viewing porn or entertaining certain sexual thoughts such as fantasies of unmarried sex while masturbating are wrong, but the act itself is not wrong as long as it isn't interfering with obligations or depriving a spouse. So, in theory, masturbating while fantasizing about your spouse (even if you don't know who your spouse will be yet) is OKAY to those born-again Christians who say masturbation itself is not a sin.</p>
<p>Guess they'd say any thoughts of Bruce Willis on your part would be wrong. LOL!</p>
<p>Ken</p>
Staff
2012-03-21T20:44:00Z
Can You Hear Me Now?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Can-You-Hear-Me-Now/649767990884644258.html
2012-03-21T20:42:00Z
2012-03-21T20:42:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Is it just me noticing this or is this the sad new norm: Mothers deliberately ignoring their children whilst selfishly too busy on their cell phones while shopping etc to pay attention to their children...</p>
<p>If I was a child again, I could NOT imagine my mother too pre-occupied being busy on the phone ignoring me while out shopping... What must children of these parents be growing up thinking???</p>
<p>Clearly it is telling children they are NOT important enough for parents to focus on them, to do their job raising and teaching by example HEALTHY behavior! No wonder children grow up not being potty trained or having any manners - parents are too busy being selfish and lazy to guide their offspring into contributing members of society.</p>
<p>How sad to witness parents on cell phones ignoring the glorious moments they should be cherishing with their children...</p>
<p>Love & respect your advice Dr. Laura- Keep the tractor going…</p>
<p>Hugs,</p>
<p>Lara</p>
Staff
2012-03-21T20:42:00Z
Needing to Hear the Logic
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Needing-to-Hear-the-Logic/741012772915971053.html
2012-03-20T23:19:00Z
2012-03-20T23:19:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura-</p>
<p>I called you today (Monday 3/19) and asked your opinion on whether or not I should take a job to "save" our family inspite of the fact my artist husband was greatly against it. You recommended I focus my efforts on helping my husband market differently instead of taking a job that would take me out of the home and undermine my marriage. I so appreciate your advice. I knew what I needed to do before I called you, but I needed to hear it from someone else - sometimes it's hard to think logically when you're so emotionally conflicted.</p>
<p>After I spoke with you, I gathered my thoughts for a couple of hours, and then went to see my husband in his studio. I told him I wanted to talk with him about my potential job offer, and he immediately got defensive and wouldn't let me talk. I told him I had called you, and he immediately started listening (he's a big fan). I told him I loved him and I would continue to help him as much as I could in his business but I would no longer complain about it.</p>
<p>A few hours later, I came home from taking my son to an after school class, and there were flowers waiting for me on the kitchen counter. He told me he loved me and was so glad we are partners in everything.</p>
<p>Thank you for your advice in this situation, and in all others. As I listen to your podcast and practice what you preach, I have become a stronger woman, a more courageous person, a better mother, and a more loving wife.</p>
<p>Thank you for your courage to say what needs to be said even when it is unpopular. You are one of my heroes!</p>
<p>Have a wonderful day,</p>
<p>Megan</p>
Staff
2012-03-20T23:19:00Z
The Decreasing Cost of Women
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Decreasing-Cost-of-Women/-583469130265264773.html
2012-03-20T23:13:00Z
2012-03-20T23:13:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I enjoy listening to your podcasts. I, like you, am a Harley rider. I listen to your show (via podcast) through my phone connected via Bluetooth to speakers in my helmet. I laugh sometimes because I imagine most of the other bikers who see me don't realize I'm riding my mean looking Harley but listening to Dr. Laura.</p>
<p>Anyway, I saw an article that reminded me of things you say. It's called "The Decreasing Cost of Women."</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Cost of getting into a woman's pants 1962: $1000+ for a diamond ring.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Cost of getting into a woman's pants 1992: $50+ for romantic dinner and a couple of glasses of wine.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Cost of getting into a woman's pants 2002: $1 for a condom.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Cost of getting into a woman's pants 2012: All expenses are covered.</p>
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Ray
Staff
2012-03-20T23:13:00Z
Helping Dad in the Delivery Room
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Helping-Dad-in-the-Delivery-Room/236289993693566337.html
2012-03-19T20:51:00Z
2012-03-19T20:51:00Z
<p>Hello, Dr. Laura.</p>
<p>My kids are 12 and 15. My husband was "required" to be in the delivery room, and although he is a pretty tough guy, he REALLY doesn't like the sight of blood. Don't get me wrong, I've seen him help a wounded woman with a rock wedged into her leg, so he can bring his tough stuff when there's an emergency, but it's not his first choice.</p>
<p>That being said, I told him I really wanted and expected him to be in the delivery room, but he could sit at my side facing "North", meaning facing my face, and keep the eyes averted for the whole procedure. He could look at the babies when he wanted to (right away, as it turned out), but we both said, "NO Thank you!" when they offered him the chance to cut the umbilical cord. This was a great solution for both of us. He then accompanied the babies to the nursery and videotaped their first baths and such, but got to miss the messy part of the delivery. It was great, and a good time (thanks to the epidural and an incredible level of joy and excitement!) was had by all.</p>
<p>All the best,</p>
<p>Jackie</p>
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Staff
2012-03-19T20:51:00Z
Bonding with Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bonding-with-Dad/-67754757708838576.html
2012-03-19T20:48:00Z
2012-03-19T20:48:00Z
<p>I'm not a mother or father, but I'm a daughter who took the time I spent with my father seriously. When I was a teenager, my dad drove me to and from youth group, and while he drove we talked - about boys, dating, school, whatever came up. As a result, my dad became someone I could turn to when I needed advice on something, and those moments kept me sane through some very difficult times later in life.</p>
<p>Those moments in the car gave us a bond beyond biology, because we were genuinely interested in each other's lives. That still holds true today, almost ten years later. I credit those moments we spent together just talking as the reason he and I have such a strong relationship. I treasure those moments more with each passing day, and I am so grateful to my dad for taking the time to talk and just be there for me.</p>
<p>If I am lucky enough to become a parent, I expect my husband to do the same for our children.</p>
<p>Amanda</p>
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Staff
2012-03-19T20:48:00Z
Making Life Easier for My Wife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-Life-Easier-for-My-Wife/723345089925310002.html
2012-03-16T23:55:00Z
2012-03-16T23:55:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I just wanted to take a minute to answer your question about what I did for my wife when we were expecting our first and now what I am doing as we expect number two!</p>
<p>I HATE feet. They are smelly and sweaty and disgusting but my wife LOVES to have her feet massaged, so every day after I would come home from work, I would sit on the couch as she laid on the other end putting her feet in my lap. I would watch some of my favorite shows as I massaged her feet between various calls for mango with chile pepper and running down to get a "Super Nachos" from her favorite nacho joint. I would attend as many of the prenatal appointments as was possible (I got to all but two of them!) and would ask the doctor questions myself about what was happening and what to expect. I also took an interest in what she was learning about what was going on with my little girl as she developed in the womb. This gave my wife and I something to talk about and helped me feel more involved in the pregnancy. She enjoyed this too because she could share her fears with me in a way I could understand. We were also able to share some good laughs as we both huddled around her belly playing Mozart and Led Zeppelin (ya know, the classics) to the baby. Just knowing I was there for her not only physically, financially, and spiritually but taking an active role in learning what was happening inside her really helped our marriage, friendship and understanding during the first pregnancy. I did everything I could so she could stay home in the final months and relax. She is still a stay-at-home Mom and we couldn't be happier about how my beautiful girl is doing.</p>
<p>During this pregnancy, my wife is still at home but with the added challenge of having a one and half year old running around asking to play "Ring around t he Rosie" every 5 seconds. I still try to make it to all of the appointments I can and massage her aching feet. On the weekends, I let her sleep as much as she wants while my daughter and I get some much needed daddy-daughter play time. We go to the store and do some grocery shopping or get the tires rotated or even go down to the ocean to watch the waves. Momma gives me a call when she gets up and then we head home to get Mom so we can all have a relaxing lunch. I also try to do the cooking on the weekends so my wife can enjoy "hanging out" again. Cooking is kinda fun because my daughter will sit on my shoulders and help me get things out of the cupboards and hold spatula's for me. She is handy like that!</p>
<p>Well, that kind of sums it up Dr. Laura. I have to thank you as well for helping inspire us to be the best kind of logical people we can be. I heard a quote once, I don't remember where, that said, "Always be yourself, but always be your better self!" I think that is good advice and something we try to do. Thanks for everything!</p>
<p>Tanner</p>
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Staff
2012-03-16T23:55:00Z
Havin' BABIES and Husbands!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Havin-BABIES-and-Husbands!/-390510081263341923.html
2012-03-16T23:52:00Z
2012-03-16T23:52:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I guess we just LOVE having babies, because we have four under five and I'm not even 28!</p>
<p>We have a little experience with childbirth you could say. Our first had a serious birth defect and was a crazy pregnancy, labor and delivery. Our second was a surprise and showed up just 13 months later! Our third got stuck and was injured in the process. Our fourth (our first girl) got stuck too! They are all alive and well for now and we love them dearly!</p>
<p>I don't think you can really prepare for labor and delivery because of the variety of deliveries. My hubby is a 6'5, 220 lb. PURE man! But blood makes him squeamish and he doesn't like seeing me in pain (so sweet). So, he kept telling himself he would not be in the delivery room. He would not watch! Then, when it came down to it, love conquered all and because we have such a close bond and were so excited for each baby, he held his head high and EVEN cut the cord! I think adrenaline is a gift from God in these situations.</p>
<p>I did try and prepare him a little by telling him some things to beware of, but that might have made the anticipation even worse. I think the fact that "I" stayed calm throughout (with many of prayers!) helped him a lot! We realized after our first, we are only in control of so much and the rest is in God's hands. We can't prevent everything! There's no use in worrying over those things you can't prevent, so go in there bravely and with hope. Most likely everything will be okay...and IF NOT...hopefully we can be strong!</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Laura (loving mother and even more loving wife</p>
Staff
2012-03-16T23:52:00Z
The Father of a Female Teen
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Father-of-a-Female-Teen/792320958488345417.html
2012-03-15T20:35:00Z
2012-03-15T20:35:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My daughter is nearly 14 (another daughter is 12) and yet to bring up boys much, which is good, but I know she has questions like - when will a boy like me? And if I have my way, not for another 5 years.</p>
<p>I look forward to times when it's just me and her so we can talk about things from the "dad perspective" that she wouldn't normally bring up when we're all together. FYI, we are a family of faithful Catholics and she seems to be embracing the faith well. So, every issue we discuss is always grounded in our faith.</p>
<p>I also keep your advice in mind. So when it comes to boys, she needs to have a discerning mind about who this boy is and whether he is permanent material. At her age, boys are just friends and should never take the next "step". When she's out of school and on her adult path, then she may think about sharing her life with someone else. Until then...she's mine!</p>
<p>Blessings,</p>
<p>Bob</p>
Staff
2012-03-15T20:35:00Z
Bonding with My Daughters
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bonding-with-My-Daughters/-668082510451954697.html
2012-03-15T20:33:00Z
2012-03-15T20:33:00Z
<p>When my daughters were young [they are grown women now] they were only 2 years apart and very competitive. To keep them from having to compete for my attention, I alternated one day every weekend to spend with one daughter for our daddy-daughter day.<br /> <br />They tease me now about how they tried to trade off those days with each other but they are very close and their relationship with me is great.</p>
<p>Oh, and one other thing......When one of them had a problem with school or in some social thing I never compared one to another as a "good example". That would only have produced animosity between them and as they were completely different people that could only be de-motivating to both.</p>
<p>Elliot</p>
Staff
2012-03-15T20:33:00Z
Emotional Family Pricetags
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Emotional-Family-Pricetags/90884895458898069.html
2012-03-14T23:33:00Z
2012-03-14T23:33:00Z
<p>Your advice to the daughter who had been her father's caregiver and then was tasked as being his estate's executor were both morally and legally correct, but let me share my experience which, by the way, mirrors what several friends have experienced having been put in the same place. Like the caller, I was the caregiver and the executor of my mother's estate. My sister never showed up during the last couple of months of my mother's death as she was too busy supervising the installation of rosebushes and the paving of the parking lot at the company she managed. I ended up doing all the arrangements, plus selling my mother's house in another state which saved the estate a healthy chunk of money. It took considerable amount of time and effort on my part. In addition, it took an emotional toll having to deal with a lifetime of stuff which bought up a lot of not so pleasant memories.</p>
<p>When I submitted my expenses as the executor, my sister had to sign off in order for them to be paid. She threatened to sue me. Her reasoning was she had told all the relatives how wonderful I was (I am!) and would not have said so if she knew I was going to be paid for my services. (She was incorrect. I did not bill for my services. I only submitted my expenses. Since the estate was going to be split 50-50, the actual impact on her portion was only half of the submittal.) Even though my attorney assured me I could recover my expenses, I removed the bill for my expenses and closed out the estate as quickly as possible. I did this based on the advice and experience of some friends with their siblings. Those who fought for what was both morally and legally correct like the recovery of their executor expenses ended up having to defend their positions in court for a protracted time. Although all won their point, in all cases the already strained family relationships snapped and the estates were significantly reduced by the court and legal fees. By removing my claim for expenses, I saved myself a potentially long legal battle and the emotional stress that accompanies it. My financial exposure was small compared to my loss of a sister for I now had proof-positive of my sister's true colors and her not valuing me as a professional much less our relationship. Although she remains clueless as to the irreparable damage her actions inflicted, I remain "civil and polite" and definitely distant nothing more and nothing less.</p>
<p>I would suggest based on both my and my friends' experiences, it would be best for anyone to hire someone from the bank or an attorney to do all the work (assuming the estate will bear the expenses). It would be a nice way for the "caring, dependable" caregiver to treat themselves for having been caring and dependable. Why take on the additional work only to be vilified?</p>
<p>Just a thought...<br />Sometimes doing what is both morally and legally correct is not worth the emotional price.</p>
<p>J.</p>
Staff
2012-03-14T23:33:00Z
Your 'Dose of Reality'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Your-Dose-of-Reality/-508609304730951534.html
2012-03-14T23:20:00Z
2012-03-14T23:20:00Z
<p>I called about a month ago asking how I could get over my anger of my former sister-in-law dating less than 6 months after my brother’s suicide. You gave me a HUGE slap in the face (or dose of reality) as I call it. You told me whatever she did now is none of my business and I should move on. I sat there and replayed that phone call in my head numerous times and WOW...I just wanted to say THANK YOU! Letting go of all that anger and hatred I had for her was consuming my life and exhausting me. In the last few weeks, it's felt really good to have "that" out of me. You are awesome!! Thank you again!!!</p>
<p>Robyn</p>
<p>P.S. I am my therapist's listener! LOL</p>
Staff
2012-03-14T23:20:00Z
Living with Technology
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Living-with-Technology/330666896732996504.html
2012-03-14T00:44:00Z
2012-03-14T00:44:00Z
<p>I have never joined the social media sites. I was fortunate to have family who allow me to be a voyeur on occasions where you have to be a FB member to participate - Thank you for not making me "have to" to communicate with you.</p>
<p>As a single mother of a daughter, I've had to educate myself in these areas for obvious reasons.</p>
<p>I really, really dislike the sterile communication. People have too many "faces" as it is. You can say whatever you want about whomever you like, or don't like and whoever the audience is buys it, perpetuates it, exaggerates it etc.</p>
<p>Teenage girls can be ruthless. The popularity contest alone is maddening! It also invites the creeps into their lives. Thank goodness my little girl is 23 now and most of that is behind her however, the gossip remains at issue. I simply reiterate the evil of gossip then move onto another topic. I won't allow her to whine about it, I will not converse or commiserate with her further. I know it's making a difference; all I can do is stand by and wait for the penny drop.</p>
<p>The worst is the death of a friend who had a FB account. My daughter has unfortunately had more experience with friends dying than I have. I mean, I never had "500 friends" so the statistics alone raise the possibilities. The connection continues after death. Some have overdosed on drugs, some have committed suicide. It's led to many serious conversations, all with healthy conclusions but the after death connection where, alerts come to your inbox every time a note is made on the deceased's FB wall brings the sadness back to the surface and her whole being is plunged back into the grief and sadness of the loss. It pains me a great deal and of course I must try to keep myself centered and unaffected. It's not always possible to hide the eye roll of "waaa not this again! " When caught, she has accused me of being cold and heartless. Although that hurts, I simply move on and encourage her to live, do not wither in their demise. Live and be intentionally happy. They threw it away don't let them steal your life; please disconnect from their FB Wall!</p>
<p>So, I'd say from my experience it's harmed my family. Many cannot live without connecting. It drives me nuts!</p>
<p>Professionally I have benefitted a great deal from technology. Family and friend connections, not so much!</p>
<p>Have a great day! Thank you for the positive input you offer to so many of life's moral challenges. I have listened and benefitted for 20 years and am most certainly a better person as a result.</p>
<p>Now I'm ready to go take on the day!</p>
<p>Many thanks,</p>
<p>Eva</p>
Staff
2012-03-14T00:44:00Z
Techonology is a Double-Edged Sword
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Techonology-is-a-Double-Edged-Sword/-243728655516555036.html
2012-03-14T00:42:00Z
2012-03-14T00:42:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Like so many other things, advances in technology both help and harm our relationship. So often my wife and I comment we are grateful we did not have to deal with texting, facebook updates, and twitter feeds when we were dating. My wife claims I would not have married her if all of her awkward past was so accessible to me when we were dating, I beg to differ.</p>
<p>Modern technology helps our relationships with friends, allowing us to keep up with people we would otherwise lose track of, and even reconnect with people. Conversely, all that time spent keeping track of others can be harmful to a relationship when it takes time away from actually being together. It is disheartening to come home from work when dinner has not been started and my wife is browsing Facebook or Pinterest.</p>
<p>Important family and friendship relationships are not rooted in emails or Facebook, they come from spending time together in some form. Technology relationships are for distant cousins and "pie crust" friends to quote Mary Poppins "Easily made, easily broken."</p>
<p>Thank you for all your great insights,</p>
<p>Michael</p>
Staff
2012-03-14T00:42:00Z
Creative Ways to Help Kids Behave
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Creative-Ways-to-Help-Kids-Behave/323560145989808537.html
2012-03-12T21:49:00Z
2012-03-12T21:49:00Z
<p>We've done a variety of different things over the years to help our kids "readjust" to a straight path in life. They've been different depending upon the child (we've got 3). But here's one of 'em:</p>
<p>When our 11 year old son dumped all the dog poop for MONTHS over the fence to create a pile that my husband then stepped in the middle of the night when the circuit breaker went flooey, we gave him the next day to clean it up. He did not.</p>
<p>Then we "hired" my husband at his $50 per hour rate for 1.5 hours to clean it up, and "charged" my son at $6.00 per hour to pay that back. We removed everything from his room (including his bed) and he wouldn't get it back until he'd earned it back by labor at his $6 per hour rate. We left him with a sleeping bag and a pillow.</p>
<p>He ended up having to dig a trench at our rental house so we could lay water lines for a new washer/dryer system. It took him 10 hours. I packed him a lunch on a Saturday, gave him a bunch of water, and dropped him off with a pair of work gloves, a shovel, and written instructions.</p>
<p>(He had NO idea I parked around the corner and watched him for safety's sake).</p>
<p>When he finished, exhausted, sweaty, and sore and I picked him up - he said, "Okay - I've learned the value of using my brain for my future - AND of doing the right thing the first time."</p>
<p>Lesson learned.<br /> <br />Alisa</p>
Staff
2012-03-12T21:49:00Z
7th Grade Boys Behavior
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/7th-Grade-Boys-Behavior/699345260913181286.html
2012-03-12T21:45:00Z
2012-03-12T21:45:00Z
<p>I'm proud to say I am my kids' Mom. Unfortunately I must admit to spending some time in hiding over the past three years as my four precious sons navigate middle school. I have decided 7th grade boys are not completely human yet. My sons each have a rap sheet that when printed out, double spaced, takes up more than one sheet of paper. Crimes include taking a kite to school and flying it in the courtyard at break, writing on the bathroom tile with dry erase markers, taking their dog to first period, dropping their pants to tuck in their shirt, running to the billboard erected in front of the school and "faking" hitting their heads, falling to the ground and rolling in "pain", playing "ditch em" with the playground supervisor and bringing a water bottle to class (a gallon milk jug) . . . the list goes on and on.</p>
<p>The Vice-Principal knows my cell-phone number. She has called me laughing, crying and spitting angry. It seems my boys spend more time in detention than they do in class. Because I currently have three boys in middle school, I don't feel qualified to advise others. I've still got a year and a half to go.</p>
<p>In the meantime, my husband and I assign additional work assignments for discipline that may include washing windows, hoeing the garden, pulling weeds, moving rocks and spreading mulch. The boys are great workers, very physically fit from the additional work they do and our home and yard look great. If I had to give advice to others it would be . . . hang on tight and whatever you do, don't lose your sense of humor. I wouldn't trade anything for the blessing of being Mom to four boys. <br />I think my cell-phone is ringing! LOL</p>
<p>Christine</p>
Staff
2012-03-12T21:45:00Z
Remember He's a Man, Not a Woman
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Remember-Hes-a-Man,-Not-a-Woman/-405169873217093984.html
2012-03-09T23:43:00Z
2012-03-09T23:43:00Z
<p>I am 30 years old, married to a wonderful man with three children ages 6, 5 and 1. My father-in-law gave me your book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands," almost 8 years ago for Christmas. As a young, naive woman, I was offended he thought that was a good idea. I put it on the shelf and never read it.</p>
<p>My husband and I recently started to go down a road I thought we never would. I have prayed and prayed for the wisdom God needed me to have in order to restore my marriage. About four days ago, I went to the shelf and started to thumb through your book. Low and behold, God's plan was at my fingertips the whole time. Between my daily devotions and the knowledge I have found in your book, I feel like a new woman. My husband is happy again and I in return am happier than I have been in a long time. I know what you're saying...that it's only been four days since you start to transform your thinking! But it's true, when I stopped wanting my husband to think like a WOMAN and I was NICE to him on a daily basis and loved him the way I should, life completely changed!!! I have been neglecting him so much in the last eight years, it devastates me.</p>
<p>I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being so straight forward and cutting through all the crap. I needed a good butt chewing and I got it. I know we have a lot of work to do to keep our marriage strong but I have made a promise to myself: I will take it one day at a time and do everything I can to keep things in perspective and remember he's a man, NOT A WOMAN!!</p>
<p>Thank you for everything!</p>
<p>Brittany</p>
Staff
2012-03-09T23:43:00Z
Kids Need Attention Not More Activities
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Kids-Need-Attention-Not-More-Activities/609252848976671218.html
2012-03-09T23:40:00Z
2012-03-09T23:40:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>You are definitely onto something how many parents bury themselves in their smart phones, lap tops or cart the kids to every single after school activity they can sign the kids up for?!! Kids don't have time to just run around and be kids and they surely don't get enough attention from inattentive parents!</p>
<p>I'm furious about this because when I was a Middle School teacher, I saw this happening in the 90's and I swore I would not be that kind of parent. But guess what? That's other people's definition of good parenting: hand them off to every other program you can possibly afford!!! I used to teach art lessons after school to kids and it was hard to get them to concentrate because they just wanted to talk to me! They just wanted someone to be patient with hearing what they wanted to share!!!</p>
<p>Then there are all the kids who are on meds for ADHD and ADD... I found some of the time, these kids were just bright in different ways and found school boring. I had one student who was labeled "trouble" and on meds, but in my class, he excelled at an architecture project. It was the best in the class! He was quiet and very focused and very serious. Hmmm. And the other big issue is SUGAR! How much has sugar content in foods increased over the past 3 or 4 decades? Kids' systems are so out of balance, no wonder they have trouble maintaining a "normal" state!</p>
<p>No, most aren't bipolar or ADD... they are malnourished and ignored. Parents should be ashamed!!!!!!</p>
<p>B.</p>
Staff
2012-03-09T23:40:00Z
Stopping the Whining - Taking Responsibility
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Stopping-the-Whining---Taking-Responsibility/-154182744448909238.html
2012-03-08T19:00:00Z
2012-03-08T19:00:00Z
<p>Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I never realized how much of a whiner I was until just last night. I was at a job, unhappy with the circumstances I found myself in, and made my displeasure known. To my immense surprise, a coworker blew up at me.</p>
<p>Looking back on it tonight, more than 24 hours later, I understand why. I have been living my life as if I have no control over my emotions, my body language, and the things that go on in my life. I have been endlessly frustrating the people around me - and pushing away the very people I wanted to keep close.</p>
<p>It's safe to say this attitude has been bad for me. In fact, a couple years ago I found myself admitted to the local psych ward because of suicidal thoughts. I don't understand why it took a co-worker blowing up at me for me to understand I needed to change but it did.</p>
<p>I didn't know anything about you before today - in fact, when I set foot outside my front door, I hadn't even intended to go book shopping! I left the house to go shopping for something I needed for daily living.</p>
<p>At the point I left work last night, I was wallowing in misery. I hated my job. I hated myself. I hated the person I was. I spent most of today with a wallower's headache: it was well after 5pm when I even bothered dressing to go out to get what I needed.</p>
<p>I knew I needed to change. I wanted to change. I just didn't know how, and was convinced it wouldn't matter if I did anyway. I had prayed last night to God for a way to help me change myself for the better, for a way to become a better person.</p>
<p>When I went shopping today, I passed by a book shop. Your book wasn't in the window, it was another book that lured me inside, but it was your book, “Stop Whining – Start Living” I left with. I'm writing this email after having finished it.</p>
<p>My eyes have been opened. I know now God put your book in my path, an answer to my prayers.</p>
<p>I know the road I'll be walking now won't be easy, but it'll be better than the self-destructive, lonely, and suicidal road I've been on the last several years.</p>
<p>Twenty-three isn't too late to turn things around, so that's what I'm going to start doing. It's time to take control of and responsibility for my life.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura. You, and your book, are a God sent gift.</p>
<p>Melissa</p>
Staff
2012-03-08T19:00:00Z
A True Awakening
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-True-Awakening/-423036849309516517.html
2012-03-08T18:57:00Z
2012-03-08T18:57:00Z
<p>I just want to thank you. I know I am "late" in reading your books "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” and “…Feeding of Marriage,” but I can honestly say better late than never.</p>
<p>It has been a rough road the past year for me and my family. I was going through what I call a "feminist phase" driven and fueled by negative friends and family as well as my own resentments and insecurities. I filed for divorce thinking it was the thing to do without even consulting my husband on how I was feeling. Long story short, my time being separated from him made me realize how stupid and wrong I had been and just how much our daughters need him home. I dismissed the divorce, we went to marriage counseling and he eventually moved back home.<br /> <br />I now try to spend every day showing him how much his slaying of dragons means to me and he is truly my hero. I still fight my insecurities on a daily basis but I am no longer constantly nagging him for the constant reassurance of his love and approval or resenting my position in the home as a stay at home mom.<br /> <br />Thank you Dr Laura for giving the gift of a true awakening...</p>
<p>Jane</p>
Staff
2012-03-08T18:57:00Z
Admitting Reality
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Admitting-Reality/618526010209474770.html
2012-03-08T01:01:00Z
2012-03-08T01:01:00Z
<p>Unfortunately, I have made several decisions I've regretted, but the biggest is not admitting to myself, let alone the world, that I was gay until I was 34. I kept up the denial hoping to one day marry a nice woman and have kids. It was after talking to you I realized I couldn't do that to a woman and I finally realized I had to admit reality. Now I have to find my way in life in a way I didn't plan for. I spent my entire adult life preparing for a family, but always put it off, I guess because I knew it was wrong. Facing reality and changing directions is very difficult, and I have a long way to go to figure out my place in my new world.</p>
<p>By the way, THANK YOU, Dr. Laura for the help you've given me. It may be difficult, but I'm much relieved to be able to be open and honest with myself and my family. You helped me remove that burden, and I'm very thankful.<br /><br />Ken</p>
Staff
2012-03-08T01:01:00Z
Delivering Consequences Can Be Tough
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Delivering-Consequences-Can-Be-Tough/624764136552977271.html
2012-03-08T00:56:00Z
2012-03-08T00:56:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>This week, I had an opportunity to do the right thing with my nephew who has been living with us for the past 21 months. <br /><br />When we invited him to come, it was with the proviso our home is a drug-free home. We were very clear about it with him. He comes from a family where drug and alcohol have ruined any semblance of family life. Three of his four grandparents were drug addicts or alcoholics and both of his parents have had their struggles. His father spent the better part of his childhood in a prison for contracting someone to kill another over a drug dispute. (I went to high school with his dad & he was a sweet, guy then but drugs ruined him.)<br /><br />My nephew has had very little accountability in his life, my sister let guilt and her own issues with alcohol take control of her life leaving her children to do what they liked. Even after she pulled herself together her two teens ran amok using alcohol and drugs.</p>
<p>Despite all this, my husband and I hoped with some guidance and structure my nephew could make something of his life. We helped him enroll in community college and another requirement was he got a job and work at least 20 hours per week. He struggled to make the right decisions and essentially failed his first semester with us. This caused him to lose his financial aid. We were not willing to put out another $2000 for a semester of coursework so he worked and we allowed him to stay as long as he worked. He had to save to pay his tuition. <br /><br />I sat him down and told him what he needed to do to stay in our home: work, go to school, and stay off drugs. I let him know at any time I could and would drug test him. Last semester he passed all his classes, for him - a first. But we suspected there was pot smoking going on. There had been some changes in behavior. So I tested him and I let him know if he had another incidence he would be gone along with all the perks that came with living with us (a bike we loaned him, an old cell phone, and a room).</p>
<p>This week, my eldest daughter (23) said she knew he had to be smoking weed again. I tested him and when the result came back positive I had to let him go. Dr Laura it was one of the toughest things I've had to do. As the daughter of two alcoholics and drug addicts nearly every fiber of my being wanted to give him another chance. But, I couldn't do that - I had to hold him accountable to give him any chance to break the cycle. He asked for more time, but I had told him what the consequence was: he had to pack up and leave that night or the next morning at the latest. I told him I loved him and wanted him to live his best life but if he continued this way he wouldn't.</p>
<p>He is struggling to find a permanent living situation. I'm staying in touch with him and helping him search but he is on his own. I have the respect of my kids (20-23) today because I did the right thing.</p>
<p>Thanks Dr. Laura, you helped me do what was right. I am hopeful that he will grow and choose a better life.</p>
<p>Joy</p>
Staff
2012-03-08T00:56:00Z
The Decision I Regret the Most
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Decision-I-Regret-the-Most/864691265469563710.html
2012-03-07T00:14:00Z
2012-03-07T00:14:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,<br /><br />Your poll: what decision do you/would you regret the most, really struck home for me today. Unfortunately for me it was getting married when I did. I didn't choose wisely and she doesn't treat kindly. <br /><br />Let's start in the beginning. My wife was adopted as a newborn. Her father started to not feel well shortly after they got her, but he loved her so much he didn't want anything to derail the adoption. He died of cancer 18 months later and her mother placed blame on my wife. Her mother married again, but this time to an evil man who proceeded to repeatedly molest my wife. When it blew up, her mother again blamed my wife at 10 years old for "seducing" him. No charges were ever pressed. A catholic charities counselor was called who told her mother to keep the family together at all costs. My wife got no help.<br /><br />I met my wife when we were in high school. We ended up marrying when we were both 20. I was way too young and way too naïve to know what this would mean for me, but hormones and emotion won over rational thought. So here we are 25 years later with 4 kids. My wife still sees her mother and step-father and has been helping them through her step-father’s cancer. She has no problem dealing with that evil - even being compassionate. As for me, I have always been put at the bottom of her list, below our kids, below her friends and yes below that evil. I am treated meanly, in addition to her leaving for the bars with her single friends at least 2-3 times per week. When I ask where she is going and with whom, I am told I am controlling, it is none of my business and this is her life. She has gone through at least 4 best friends over the years; when she has one, she pretty much checks out of our lives and spends almost every evening with them. When the last friend told her to get lost, she took like a break up with a lover, not a friend. <br /><br />As for sex, well "production sex" was ok when she wanted kids but otherwise it is non-existent. I have been told everything, including that sex was only invented to hurt little kids. <br /><br />With all of this she is a pretty good mother when she is around. It is both of our responsibility to see they become good, productive adults and I can't do that if I am not at home with them. So my responsibility to my kids trumps my happiness for now.<br /><br />My regret isn't really in marrying her. My wife does have some great qualities that made me fall in love with her. My regret is in not insisting she get help and be healthy enough for marriage first. I know it wasn't my responsibility but I could have insisted on it as a condition of marriage. My second regret is not moving us across the country away from that evil.<br /><br />So here I am at 45, stuck with this for another 4 years until my youngest goes to college. I’ll continue to live with the pain knowing I was never important enough to her for her to get healthy. I have laid down my life for her and she has stomped on it.<br /><br /></p>
<p>Regards,<br /><br />R.</p>
Staff
2012-03-07T00:14:00Z
Second Marriages and Babies
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Second-Marriages-and-Babies/863337287479127622.html
2012-03-07T00:12:00Z
2012-03-07T00:12:00Z
<p>I just heard the call from the "50" year old newlywed whose "40" year old wife desperately wanted children. I was in a similar predicament 10 years ago, when at 35 I married my husband, 11 years my senior. His girls were then 18 and 22. I had always wanted children but came to the difficult conclusion and agreement before we married we would not have our own children. Sure the biological clock piped up a couple times over the years, but patience paid off. On our eighth wedding anniversary, my older stepdaughter gave birth to our grandson. It was among the happiest days of my life, personally and as a couple, too.</p>
<p>Today I am a 46-year-old grandmother of the most precious 28-month old and three-month old. My husband and I both are smitten. We babysit whenever possible and are usually exhausted afterwards, despite being "young and in shape." (If you think you are in good shape, spend the day with a two-year-old boy.) Today I don't even think about not having given birth, because I am so grateful for the children God did provide my husband and me (this includes my stepdaughters and their husbands). As well, my husband and I have the freedom to travel and take on other projects that child-rearing would curtail, while we are still young enough to enjoy those opportunities. It has all worked out. There are many ways to have children.</p>
<p>Stephanie</p>
Staff
2012-03-07T00:12:00Z
Don't Think You Speak for Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dont-Think-You-Speak-for-Me/549127816141317188.html
2012-03-06T02:10:00Z
2012-03-06T02:10:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am in such a discouraged funk about our culture lately. The argument about birth control versus the freedom of religion was the straw that broke this camel’s back! Any discussions about the subject I hear are always women vs. the big bad everyone else. So, here goes...Hey women’s libbers; Hey Planned Parenthood, Hey liberal media...STOP using me as your ploy!! You never asked my opinion so stop speaking for "women" and start speaking for "some women".<br /> <br />You don't speak for me. I am an American; I am a voter; I am a mother of 5; I am a wife and I am a doctor. I do believe the freedom of religion is more important than the birth control pill. I do believe our constitution and it's amendments, fought for by the blood of our fathers, sons and brothers is vastly more important than an employee being forced to pay for something that will allow our sisters, daughters and friends to continue to perpetuate a "safe sex equals freedom" culture: A culture that has left us with an amoral society where young women think 'shacking up' is an integral part of a relationship. A culture where dismembering a 5, 6, even 9mt old baby in a mother’s womb while alive is considered a choice and not murder.<br /> <br />So, all of you who are fighting for the 'cause of women', who are standing up and banging the podium women must have the freedom of choice...ask me my choice! Stop speaking for me! You have made it so when I hear the words 'women’s health' I cringe because I know I am about to be grouped into some ideal that is against every core of my being. Do not group me with your ideals; do not include me with your rhetoric. If you are so concerned about choice then stop stifling mine!<br /> <br />Personally, I think these groups should held accountable for slander. No where in the media do you hear the words "some women". This means I have to be looked at as agreeing simply because I am a woman. I would like a group to speak for all men and see what happens.</p>
<p>Adele</p>
Staff
2012-03-06T02:10:00Z
Nature vs. Nuture
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Nature-vs.-Nuture/69995768094055537.html
2012-03-06T02:07:00Z
2012-03-06T02:07:00Z
<p>I am a 25 year old newly married 5th grade teacher. I listen to your show at lunchtime while I grade papers. My husband and I, partly because of you, have already made plans for me to sub part-time once we have our kids next year so that way one of us is always home with the kidlets (He is a fireman so he can take care of them on his days off).</p>
<p>I have two stories to share. The first is touching, the second is telling.</p>
<p>Our class was discussing the meaning of the word hereditary because it was in the story we were reading. The students were coming up with examples of things they inherit from their parents like their eyes, hair color, height, etc. I also explained to them negative things can be passed down through heredity such as risks for cancer, etc. Then one of my male students added to our discussion "Oh, you mean like being an alcoholic." (How heartbreaking!!) I responded saying the comment was incorrect because alcoholism is a choice. Then I looked directly at him, touched him on the shoulder and again said "Do you understand, that is a choice people make." And to think parents don't believe what they do at home affects their children.</p>
<p>The second story is telling for those folks who don't think there are any differences between girls and boys.</p>
<p>We were learning about the pioneers and were reading a story where a family of pioneer children were left alone while their father traveled ahead to find a place to settle. I let them choose groups (which ended up being groups of boys and girls) to discuss and write about how they would feel and what they would do if they were left alone in the wilderness. The girls groups said they would feel scared and would want their brothers to protect them! The boys groups said they would feel brave, would protect their families, and would go hunt for food! How is that for different instincts!</p>
<p>Thank you for all you do to advance to esteem and value of stay-at-home moms which I hope to be very soon!</p>
<p>K. <br />My husband's girlfriend, new wife, and 5th grade teacher</p>
Staff
2012-03-06T02:07:00Z
A Husband's Perspective on Rape
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Husbands-Perspective-on-Rape/-47440692379697884.html
2012-03-03T01:07:00Z
2012-03-03T01:07:00Z
<p>Greetings Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Thank you for all you do!</p>
<p>In response to the caller who lost her virginity to a rapist and now finds intimacy with her husband difficult. I am the 26 year husband of the victim of a date rape. When we first married, everything was as it should be for newlyweds. But all of that abruptly changed one night. When I write abruptly, I mean in the middle of intercourse. I lost the girl I had courted and had her replaced with an emotionally and physiologically frigid woman who would even go so far as to strike me in her sleep if I touched her in specific ways. It took the next 13 years to figure out what had happened and after she dealt with the trauma, she stopped punishing me for being the same gender as her rapist. Mostly...</p>
<p>But I must say this, the only reason she dealt with her pain was because I returned the attention and affections of a female co-worker and left our home for a few months. I returned and left again once but could not stay away from my children, so I made the conscious choice to stay by deciding I would find joy in Fatherhood and make believe I simply had a live-in nanny. But my infidelity did get her attention and our physical and emotional intimacy did get better. But not quite...</p>
<p>I still miss the girlfriend I proposed marriage to. I can have sex with her anytime I want, but her heart is not there and it feels I am merely allowed to use her body as a receptacle. I am NEVER approached for sex and there is still very little friendly patting, hugging or smooching which is one reason to be married. I am still being punished for being a man. Intimate kissing still produces a repulsed response.</p>
<p>But I find joy in our family. I am a strong Father to my daughter and sons. They open doors and she waits to have doors opened, but is strong enough to call a cab when the door stays closed. I fear the day when my sentence is up and the loneliness returns as our youngest is 18 in 4 years and I will most likely leave the nest when he does.</p>
<p>Caller, do your husband a favor and either leave him now and keep your misery to yourself or allow yourself to heal! My best advice is the latter. Heal! Our therapist said, if you are holding a hot poker, drop it! It was terrible what happened to both you and my wife, but neither I nor your husband is guilty.</p>
<p>Let us be men! Let us open your doors! Let us provide! Let us be your friend and confidant. Ask us to send you to the moon and PLEASE take us along for the trip! I do not want to leave my wife as I truly cherish her. But I need to be cherished too and it is easier to live without anyone to cherish me than it is to live with someone who does not. My scars will demand a single life, because now I too have been deeply hurt and have no desire to repeat the episode. But I will not put anyone through what she has put me through. It’s just not nice.</p>
<p>I wish you the best and hope you consider my words as your husband's and heal. Both of you will be happier!</p>
<p>S.</p>
Staff
2012-03-03T01:07:00Z
Championing Men and Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Championing-Men-and-Marriage/-993451796829634697.html
2012-03-03T01:04:00Z
2012-03-03T01:04:00Z
<p>The other night at dinner, my husband of two months put down his fork, looked me straight in the eye and told me, "You're fun. I see my friends with their wives and they seem so boring, but not you, we always have fun together."</p>
<p>This comment swelled me with pride.<br /> <br />I come from a dysfunctional family and am a child of divorce. So when my husband proposed, I was terrified of repeating my parents' mistakes and ruining the next generation.</p>
<p>Having been a listener since high school, I immediately purchased your book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and became more of a girlfriend to my husband than I had ever been during our 2.5 years of dating!</p>
<p>I love my husband so much and every day I make sure he knows it. I plan on being his "fun" wife for the rest of my life.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, for championing men and marriage.</p>
<p>Aleishia</p>
Staff
2012-03-03T01:04:00Z
My Vows to My Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Vows-to-My-Husband/-982481931911401779.html
2012-03-01T22:39:00Z
2012-03-01T22:39:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>First, thank you for changing my views on marriage. I was a firm believer in the concept of common law marriages prior to listening to your show. After hearing show after show about women shacking up with boyfriends and most importantly, how this affects children when they are born into these situations... I (or you rather) changed my mind!</p>
<p>I am writing you today to tell you I have chosen wisely and last week my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years and I had our wedding. I also wanted to share my personal vows I read to my husband on our wedding day.</p>
<p>Thank you for your guidance and for changing our lives.<br />-Kristie</p>
<p>My vows to my husband...</p>
<p>Completed by your love, I'm the woman I longed to be<br />I feel I've known you always, in my deepest memory</p>
<p>You've cared for me in sickness, shared my highest of all highs<br />You stand strong with me so willingly, as challenges arise</p>
<p>You make it clear the blessing, that all hardships can provide<br />If the only blessing to be found, is that you are by my side</p>
<p>I look forward to living young and growing old, If only it's with you<br />Discovering the joys of life, of moments old and new</p>
<p>I promise to love you always, in strife and times of woe<br />To always be your girlfriend, even as your Mrs. Boe</p>
<p>I promise to prove to you, each day of our married life<br />That you did the right thing, in making me your wife</p>
Staff
2012-03-01T22:39:00Z
Some Math on Homeschooling
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Some-Math-on-Homeschooling/126692489844062602.html
2012-03-01T22:37:00Z
2012-03-01T22:37:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>We have been homeschooling for 15 years now, and yes, it's growing in popularity! Though it's true we started for academic reasons, we've stayed with it for the lesser known "perks" which boil down to quantity and quality time. It's not always easy, and it's not always fun, but nothing worth doing ever is! Simply BEING around my kids is something I didn't appreciate early on, but now wouldn't give up for a million dollars.</p>
<p>For those "numbers people" like myself, I thought I'd share some math. A typical school year is 170 days, and each day roughly 8 hours long. That's about 1360 hours per year a homeschool parent spends with their child. If your child attends school for 13 years, that's over 17,000 contact hours. 17 THOUSAND! (No wonder I'm tired!) While I'm happy to delegate music lessons, swim team, and karate, I get to keep the best hours for myself!</p>
<p>Jennifer</p>
Staff
2012-03-01T22:37:00Z
Fighting Addiction
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Fighting-Addiction/-952727268008416195.html
2012-03-01T01:43:00Z
2012-03-01T01:43:00Z
<p>My husband gave me permission to tell this story.</p>
<p>My husband served in the Army and while in Viet Nam he became addicted to heroin. He was a door-gunner on a helicopter. Anyway, the camp's drug dealer was my husband's bunk mate. (I'm sure that's not what you call his barrack - hooch maybe??) Anyway, every time a deal went down the dealer gave everyone in the room a sample. Let's just say my husband got lots of samples on a regular basis.</p>
<p>He was getting close to being discharged and sent back to the States. He happened to read a book called "Needle Park" (heard they made a movie from the book). What struck him was these addicts would do anything (slash their wrists and pour the powder into their veins if they hadn't been able to shoot up when the "needed" it) and they would give up everything (their families, wives, kids) to get high. He said he decided right there to stop. He'd been doing heroine for 8 months. He quit cold turkey. He got very sick for a week. And then it was over! That was the end of his heroine addiction. He's a very strong man - but I wouldn't recommend this method.</p>
<p>There is an interesting twist. As of a few months ago my husband became addicted to Morphine. He was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer which is wrapped around his spine and aorta (the tumor actually fractured his spine). Oddly, his oncologist believes its Agent Orange related. He was on about 300 mg of morphine a day and at the beginning of January decided he felt the chemo was working (after his 2nd chemo treatment) and wanted to drive again. So you guessed it, he quit cold turkey! Didn't go so well this time! He spent 4 days in the hospital. They had to actually inject him with morphine to stop the throwing up and stabilize him. He couldn't eat for a week either. Anyway, they gave him a formula to reduce his morphine (he's down to 60 from 300) but he now realizes he may need to wait until he finishes his chemo and deals with the fractured spine.</p>
<p>But I wanted to say.... I am really proud of him! I'm proud of his service to our country (he received several medals for flying into combat to rescue fellow soldiers). I'm proud he decided he didn't want to let a substance control him and quit. And proud he is the most positive chemo patient and is just going to do what it takes to get well. He often says, "Why should I feel sorry for myself? I am just one of thousands battling this disease!" And I am confident that after his chemo and fractured spine is resolved.... he'll be morphine free.</p>
<p>Beverly</p>
Staff
2012-03-01T01:43:00Z
Bringing a Gun to School
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bringing-a-Gun-to-School/-745901781119023885.html
2012-03-01T01:39:00Z
2012-03-01T01:39:00Z
<p>Coincidentally with the Chardon, Ohio shooting, yesterday at my daughter's Jr. High school in Warren, Texas, a young man in 8th grade, brought a gun to school and threatened two boys in the lunch room. The authorities acted promptly and I was pleased with how quickly the gun was taken and the children, thank God, were all safe.</p>
<p>My aggravation began last night, while listening to the news. The reporter quoted our Sheriff as saying, "this student may have been bullied at school". I thought of you and your comments about how society automatically begins thinking of excuses for the GUILTY. This statement on the news made it sound like it was the INNOCENT children at the school that "caused" this boy to bring a gun to school. POPPYCOCK!! This is a VERY small school where "everybody knows everybody". My daughter said (and I realize this is hearsay) she has never seen this boy bullied, but she has seen HIM plenty of times picking fights with other boys. According to my daughter, the boys in the lunchroom were letting the kid know how "stupid" he was for bringing chewing tobacco to school the day before. Is this "bullying"? Um...they were right! He WAS stupid for bringing the chewing tobacco to school the day before!! And he was equally stupid to bring a gun to school!!</p>
<p>*sigh*</p>
<p>It's an endless battle, Dr. Laura, training our children to be decent citizens and taking responsibility for their own actions. Thank you SO MUCH for standing up for MORALITY and DECENCY in world.</p>
<p>K.</p>
Staff
2012-03-01T01:39:00Z
Teen Mistakes...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Teen-Mistakes.../66448326326931856.html
2012-02-29T00:21:00Z
2012-02-29T00:21:00Z
<p>The question isn't "what are we going to do," the question is "what aren't we going to do?"<br />- Ferris, from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"</p>
<p>That was exactly the problem. What wouldn't I do? I was part of a huge group of kids that hung out "around". We ran the streets. We'd meet by the church, or by the canal or the back of the park, or just ride our bikes aimlessly looking for our others friends.</p>
<p>We learned about drinking and drugs on the street. One of the girls had a big brother who'd always get us 2 liter bottles of wine coolers. We each had one to ourselves. We smoked pot too and a few times I remember it being laced with heroin or cocaine. A boyfriend of mine, then, dealt crack. He was 16. I drove him to the bad neighborhoods to sell and pick up. A couple of older boys who were brothers dealt pot. I was 16 and they took me with them so I could drive them to neighboring state to pick up more. They had their driver licenses suspended, not sure why.</p>
<p>Sex was another lesson I wish I hadn't learned from this crowd of misfits. It started with a friend who was 14 too, and she told me about doing it with some guy. A week later she introduced me and told me I could do it with him too. I did. I had many boys in the next few years to follow and kept a list. My best friends did the same thing.</p>
<p>I wish I'd known about keeping myself clean then, mind, body and soul. When I finally grew up and learned about morality, the regret started to set in. What had I done to myself? What a mess I was. I still feel deep remorse for that little girl of 14 who let herself be used for others to have pleasure. Who just went along because it seemed fun at the time. I really was a good girl, just lost. I think that's why God has been able to change my heart so easily. (tears.)</p>
<p>Now my goal is to reach kids so they don't do the same thing. I am a substitute teacher at a middle school and I try to encourage the kids in positive ways when I'm there. I asked a class last week during a discussion if they knew what the word "Morality" meant....cricket sounds could be heard. There is a lot of work to be done with today's youth.</p>
<p>PLEASE KEEP MY STORY ANONYMOUS. I'm not sure how much of my own story to share with the kids while I'm trying to encourage them and let them know I totally understand how they feel and I've been there/done that.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2012-02-29T00:21:00Z
Battleships and Submarines
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Battleships-and-Submarines/-544719032969738943.html
2012-02-29T00:17:00Z
2012-02-29T00:17:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>From my personal experience and from listening to your show I have come to the conclusion when it comes to abusive people men are like battleships and women are like submarines.</p>
<p>When there is abuse in relationships, men behave more like a battleship: on the surface, loud, and visible for all to see. Everyone seems to know about it police, family, and neighbors. Movies are made about it, magazines and books are written about it, and legislatures write laws concerning it.</p>
<p>Women are different, when there is abuse almost noboby seems to know. When an abusive women attacks, her firepower it is seen by few, is often silent, and is launched from below the surface. Nobody seems to know including the man himself, and many observers are often fooled into thinking that the woman herself is the victim.<br /><br />Stephen</p>
Staff
2012-02-29T00:17:00Z
Influencing Generations
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Influencing-Generations/-584801145536960149.html
2012-02-27T21:49:00Z
2012-02-27T21:49:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I wound up registering on your site, and felt compelled to take a moment to thank you for all the years of influence you have been in my life.</p>
<p>My 14 year old daughter is doing her homework as I type, and I want to mention that kid has grown up "knowing" you, hearing your voice as she rode in her baby car seat, and then booster seat. I decided to quit my job when she was born, and it was LARGELY due to YOU and your influence. I was a teacher myself, and when it came time to find an appropriate day care, I kept hearing your words in my head. I left that day care "interview", 8 months pregnant and huge. While the babies in the day care were beautiful as can be, they were propped up in a circle, each in his/her own little baby seat, and there was no practical way for each one to have much attention. They looked like little planes waiting on a runway, or maybe a warehouse for babies. It made me feel so sad I made up my mind then and there we would figure out how to live on one paycheck. We did have to scale back financially in EVERY way, truly we did, but I became the second-hand store super-shopper. I was so well known to the ladies there they put my then-baby daughter and me in one of their television commercials. Very cool.</p>
<p>So that's how we spent our days, while she was growing up, we had a routine, playgroups, field trips, and plenty of time to bond. We'd get into our car and take a little spin just before nap time. I'd buy a yummy coffee drink (my daily indulgence) and then baby, later toddler, and I would drive and listen to you on the radio! It was the best part of my day, it really was, it helped center me, reassure me, and remind me why I'd quit a job I loved. I listened to your sage wisdom, and that was time I could NEVER RECLAIM. I am so glad you came into our lives through the radio. To give you an idea how long ago that's been, when we started listening, you were advertising your 50th birthday party, and later the second annual 50th birthday party, LOL. My daughter claims she remembers all that. I was decidedly indoctrinating her; I wanted her to be immersed in the wisdom that is your show. Now, that doesn't mean we always see eye-to-eye on everything, but I don't think you expect or demand that from your loyal followers, not at all.</p>
<p>Fast forward to now: daughter is 14 and she is a wonderful, kind-hearted, DECENT kid, one who thinks of others, one who lives to honor herself by her own deeds and good works. And I can't resist telling you that now, when we're in the car we say, "Oh, oh, oh, Dr. Laura's on, let's listen." and sometimes someone will ask a question that makes us each turn to the other and go "OH NO! You must not listen to this show, you are gonna be so BUSTED!!" We laugh and realize we've been bonding over your show all these years. EVERY DAY YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE. THANK YOU FOR THE INFLUENCIAL TEACHER YOU'VE BEEN.</p>
<p>Lisa</p>
Staff
2012-02-27T21:49:00Z
Dinner Laugh-fest
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dinner-Laugh-fest/846484942044717332.html
2012-02-27T21:44:00Z
2012-02-27T21:44:00Z
<p>I had to giggle when I read the email from the reader who instituted a <a href="/b/Family-Rude-Night/-298652423633858771.html">"rude" family dinner night </a>in an effort to teach her children table manners. Our dinnertime is legendary, but NOT because it is so mannerly.</p>
<p>I have seen one kid make another one laugh a pea out of her nose. I've had to actually say the words, "If you make your sister throw up at the table you are both grounded!" I've witnessed the spitting out of numerous food and drink items because of a perfectly timed laugh-fest.</p>
<p>Our dinnertime is chaotic, hilarious, more fun than it should be, and such a habit that it threatens to spill over in restaurants or when we are with other people, at which point we have to shriek, "We are in public!!" or "We have company!!" This action then warrants an explanation of what may have happened had we been at home or just alone. We have had a blast, but I didn't realize the impact until my then-17 year old told me she made her social plans AROUND our dinnertime.</p>
<p>I've been my daughters' mom their whole lives, and am most amazed at the lack of friction between us. They are now 18 and 16, and are now becoming my best friends because, you know, I have to be their mom first.</p>
<p>Allison</p>
Staff
2012-02-27T21:44:00Z
Charity's Daughter Who Suffered a Stroke
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Charitys-Daughter-Who-Suffered-a-Stroke/49682158807442614.html
2012-02-24T23:40:00Z
2012-02-24T23:40:00Z
<p>Regarding Charity's 12 year old daughter suffered a stroke...</p>
<p>This site has resources and a support group in the form of a listserv. There are a number of people who would be glad to talk to you over the phone as well. Some of them have faced situations like yours. <a href="http://www.hemikids.org/" target="_blank">http://www.hemikids.org/</a></p>
<p>Strokes do happen to children for various reasons. My daughter had a stroke (or other event) while in utero. They delivered her about 2 weeks early because she wasn't moving around in the womb like she should have been and they became concerned that she might be in distress. She has no underlying health issues, it was just a fluke. With all of her after birth care I was the one who told the doctors at her 5 month checkup that something more was wrong; prior to that she was considered "normal".</p>
<p>I think having it happen to a child later like yours is in many ways is more difficult. I have been raising my daughter from nearly the beginning knowing we would have some struggles. On the upside, your daughter's growth should be pretty far along and hopefully you won't have to worry about limbs being the same length. This is important, not just aesthetically, but because it can cause them health problems when their bones harden.</p>
<p>You should approach your daughter as a person you are getting to know again, because she may not be the same person she was. The whole family will help her to regain as much function as possible. What's possible is amazing and often surpasses the expectations of doctors and therapists. If you could meet my daughter you would find an energetic, precocious, charming, intelligent, dramatic, stubborn, difficult and engaging 4 year old girl. You would not realize her disability right away. Your daughter's potential is unknown. Just take it one day at a time like Dr. Laura said and know you will have good and bad days. Think of your older daughter and husband as resources and companions, the more they help with your daughter, the better their overall outlook will be and the less stressed you will be. The first year after our daughter's diagnosis it was difficult to be around my husband, but once he started seeing our daughter as a dynamic child and not a disabled one, things improved.<br /><br />M.</p>
Staff
2012-02-24T23:40:00Z
From Day Care Worker to SAHM
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/From-Day-Care-Worker-to-SAHM/215575503170740902.html
2012-02-24T23:39:00Z
2012-02-24T23:39:00Z
<p><br />My first job out of high school was working at a daycare while I was attending college. I am wonderful with children, however, I quickly realized I could not give the children the love, attention, and care that they needed and could only receive from their mothers. I made up my mind then and there that my children would have me as their caretaker. When my husband and I were courting, I informed him I would be a stay at home mom to raise our children. It was a deal breaker for me if he wasn't in agreement on the subject. He agreed it would be for the best.</p>
<p>We had 2 beautiful children and my husband has provided for us from day one. My children are now 16 and 13 and I've loved every minute of caring for them. I've always found little odd jobs to do at home that has brought extra income to add to our budget. I've managed to take care of these things when the children were asleep or at school. I love being a mom! And, I know my kids have received the care, love, and attention they needed because I provided it.</p>
<p>Sheila</p>
Staff
2012-02-24T23:39:00Z
2012 Make a Difference Day All-Star Finalist
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/2012-Make-a-Difference-Day-All-Star-Finalist/-410947697193835763.html
2012-02-23T21:54:00Z
2012-02-23T21:54:00Z
<p>Last May, Dr. Laura interviewed Delaney and Addie Kenney about their "Almost Sleepovers" a program they and five other friends started where kids in their pajamas get together to raise money and craft items for the less fortunate. When Dr. Laura last spoke with them they had won the "Make A Difference Award" and now they are a 2012 Make a Difference Day All-Star Finalist competing against a nationwide college fraternity and an entire town in Oklahoma! </p>
<p>Go to <a href="http://www.makeadifferenceday.com" target="_blank">www.MakeADifferenceDay.com</a> to see their story and vote for you favorite finalist!</p>
<p>And here's their less-than-5-minute video about their year-long journey from 7 girls and an idea in Guilford, CT in 2010 to 1,200 kids in 26 states helping more than 100 charities nationwide in 2011. It's a beautiful thing: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYfOHhnV9A0" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYfOHhnV9A0</a></p>
Staff
2012-02-23T21:54:00Z
How 'Real Men' are Treated in the World
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Real-Men-are-Treated-in-the-World/849695408373590993.html
2012-02-23T21:49:00Z
2012-02-23T21:49:00Z
<p>When I married my husband, he was in University getting his 5 year teaching degree (here in Canada) and was constantly told how the teaching profession was in dire need of males and what an asset he would be in any workplace. He had dreamed of being a teacher since he was a child, and was gifted in the profession.</p>
<p>But when he got there, he was in for quite a surprise. Often he was one of maybe two-three males on the entire staff, and as the gym teacher, it was soon clear most of the other staff considered gym a waste of time. Three positions in four years proved this seemed to be a pattern. In his last position he was the only male on staff and was frequently called in to deal with difficult boys in everyone else's classes, due to his success rate, and then was soundly criticized by the female teachers for his tactics. But OH his success rate was amazing! He gathered the worst of the worst around him and taught them wonderful lessons, much to the chagrin of the principal, who was merely looking to expel them. He organized a basketball team, and in two years, these boys who had never played, came in first in their League (one is now attending college on a basketball scholarship). But every day my husband would throw up before work because he knew of the barrage of criticism he was facing for championing these boys.<br /> <br />Finally, came the day when he pulled aside two popular, well-off bullies and told them despite their "A" in the class, next year the curriculum would focus on character, and if they didn't radically change their behavior, they would fail - and to take that into account when doing their course selection. Well, they got into an uproar! One boy's parents came in. My husband was ready with journalled instances of their bullying. My husband read the list calmly until the father stood up and kicked my husband in the groin. My husband left the room… The principal told him they would of course press charges, and for him to head home while she took care of everything. Later that week, the school's lawyer called saying that instead of going after the dad, they had a generous severance package for us. We took it, and now my husband sells cars for a living. My husband is a real man, full of strength and character, and really changed lives. And he was chased out of the profession. Who will teach these boys to be men?</p>
<p>R.</p>
Staff
2012-02-23T21:49:00Z
Advice for Overwhelmed Mom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Advice-for-Overwhelmed-Mom/262955811239993275.html
2012-02-22T22:00:00Z
2012-02-22T22:00:00Z
<p>I broke down in tears yesterday listening to the <a href="/pg/jsp/charts/audioMaster.jsp?dispid=306&pid=87399">caller whose 12-yr-old daughter was in ICU after having a stroke</a>. It brought back all the memories of my own (now) 12-yr-old daughter who was born 14 weeks premature and spent 79 days in ICU with a brain injury due to lack of oxygen from a prolapsed umbilical cord. I completely empathized with her feelings of being overwhelmed - the panic in her voice - "How will I take care of everyone?"</p>
<p>You gave her excellent advice on the brain being very plastic. My daughter's brain has been able to develop new pathways around the damaged tissue so it is very hard to tell she has cerebral palsy. This was possible through years of weekly therapies her entire life (but I suspect it will be a much quicker recovery for Charity's daughter as there are many cases of stroke victims making full recoveries, even in elderly people). It has changed my life completely, and that of her siblings: Her father left, became an alcoholic, and has never paid child support. I had to leave my active duty military job that I loved and moved in with my parents. I had to accept help from other people (something I thought I was above). Which leads me to the next excellent piece of advice you gave: Take it one day at a time. If I had been able to see into the future and know all we would go through and what it would do to our family, I would have given up right then. But I focused on what she needed that hour, that day, that week... And forced myself to not be scared. I didn't have TIME to be scared!</p>
<p>Finally one additional thing I would advise her to do: Lovingly enlist the help of your husband and your other children. Don't take on all the burden yourself. Your husband and children don't want to lose you either. If everyone pitches in with helping with her therapies and needs, it will strengthen your family. If you try to do it all yourself, at the expense of your husband and children, it will tear your family apart. Seek and accept help from outside agencies before you leave the hospital, and join support groups - they will provide you a wealth of information and support.</p>
<p>Been there,</p>
<p>Karen</p>
Staff
2012-02-22T22:00:00Z
One Activity at a Time
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/One-Activity-at-a-Time/-340131725788978075.html
2012-02-22T21:10:00Z
2012-02-22T21:10:00Z
<p>My mom (who had been a first grade teacher before I was born and then a stay at home mom) had a good rule regarding after school activities: my sisters and I were only allowed to participate in one after school activity at a time. We did not lack in trying new things. I think I did everything! I just didn't do it all at the same time. Maybe piano lessons overlapped, and once I was chosen to participate in drawing lessons at a college while I was still on Drill Team (though that proved to be too much).</p>
<p>I adopted that rule with my own children too. Why? Because then they have down time to be creative, to help around the house (kids these days do not learn how to cook and clean!!!), to participate in other sibling's games sometimes and basically TO GET EVERYONE TO THE DINNER TABLE EVERY NIGHT TOGETHER! That is my number one goal and it's working.</p>
<p>My kids are in 8th and 9th grades and we are a very close family who does spend quality time together. My kids have time to do their homework and still time to pursue their own interests. They don't need to be scheduled and "entertained" by someone else all the time! Unfortunately other friends' parents don't do this so it's really hard for my kid to find time with their friends. It's sort of ridiculous! I really don't think the other moms cook like I do. I'm big on nourishing nutritional meals because these kids are growing plus it keeps their hormone levels more stable (and happy) to eat good home cooked food!</p>
<p>And Mom isn't crazy driving around all the time... Happy Momma, Happy Family!!</p>
<p>Bethany</p>
Staff
2012-02-22T21:10:00Z
Building Your Man's Confidence
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Building-Your-Mans-Confidence/-600469560326881601.html
2012-02-21T23:07:00Z
2012-02-21T23:07:00Z
<p>I have been married to a good man for a decade. He's a hard worker. He's a loving dad. He's a great lover, and an even better friend. But he and I were getting into the same fight every other month from the time our first child was born and I had a Mommy hat put on my head. His claim: "I don't feel desired by you."</p>
<p>I do everything for everyone, including my husband. I serve him when I want to, when I don't want to, and every time in between. So, it always drove me nuts when he said he didn't feel like I desired him. I'd angrily ask, "Were you even counting the times we had sex last week?!" I was at a loss as to why he was feeling undesired by me when I was sexually responsive, and serving him constantly. It finally got to yesterday when I said I don't see the point in trying to make him feel desired anymore. If I try my hardest, he doesn't feel desired. Well, if I didn't try at all, the result would be the same. He wouldn't feel desired. So, why put in the effort?</p>
<p>He saw how he was being high maintenance and clingy. We had a really great heart-to-heart and got down to the source of the problem. When I chose this wonderful man as my husband, he was self confident. But so many trials have happened in our married life, his confidence had been shattered. He was relying on me for his stability and sense of self worth. BUT I had children to care for, a house to clean, homeschooling for our special needs child, school runs and parent volunteer projects for our other kids, plus me going back to school. I was giving my husband attention, serving him, loving him, but I had so much going on in my life he felt all those other things were competing for my attention.</p>
<p>So, when he realized he was depending on me for his sense of self worth, rather than looking to himself and his own real worth, he realized why I was so tired. He's going to look for counseling and going to try to value me for more than the way I make him feel.</p>
<p>I saw too, that my job, as his wife, is to be his cheerleader. I can serve him, be his lover, his friend, but sometimes in a man's life he needs someone to think he is successful, desirable, and to admire his confidence even if it isn't as strong as you'd like. He needs someone to cheer for him, not because he is winning, but because he is able to make a comeback. He needs someone to believe in him when he doesn't believe in himself.</p>
<p>It feels like a ton of bricks has been lifted from our relationship. I am so grateful we took the time to get to the bottom of the nagging and find the source.</p>
<p>C.</p>
Staff
2012-02-21T23:07:00Z
Over Committed?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Over-Committed/-546875292545847156.html
2012-02-21T23:05:00Z
2012-02-21T23:05:00Z
<p>When I was a youngster, I was a latch-key kid. This meant virtually no outside school activities, as I had no one to take me to and fro. I was very active within the school, however: band, choir, an after school sewing club, and on the yearbook staff (I ran track for a while...but didn't like the "friendly" coach). That was it, and it was all my own doing, I was never pushed by my mother, in other words, I didn't need outside motivation. Outside of school I was active in the church, but so was my mother, though we weren't there every time the doors were open. I did not feel overwhelmed, I would say, "balanced," though that was not a purposeful discipline. It just happened!</p>
<p>Consequently, when I had children, my husband and I purposed not to have them in every activity imaginable. (That could have easily happened, as I am a stay at home mother.) With sports clubs that start at 3 years of age, as well as music lessons can start that young, and the fact we have five children, we realized we would have very little time to just "be" if we were running to and fro. How can a child learn to "be still" if they are always running to, or being run to, activity after activity?</p>
<p>I had an interesting conversation with a mother while on a silent retreat some years ago (we talked at meal time, but not in between, as women can gab and gab, not the purpose of a "silent" retreat). She had four sons (I have four sons) who were all very active in hockey, as was her husband. Hockey schedules here are very serious, sometimes practices went late into the night, with her sons getting home around midnight at times. Often she was going one direction while her husband was going another. She was frazzled, and wondered how I kept from running what she called a "rat race." I said, simply, "We just don't do it."</p>
<p>I laugh when I think of that!</p>
<p>What drives a parent who must have their children running to and fro every day? Is it we have vehicles that can take us to these many activities? Does their identity rest in the number of activities their children participate in? Do these families have a day of rest, where they connect with each other? It is a good thing to be busy, but busy does not necessarily mean productive. Sometimes doing nothing when there is nothing to do is the most productive thing you can do! (Let's face it, we can always find something to do...I could, right now, scrub the floor...but there is a time for that, and it isn't now.)</p>
<p>A little wise "letting alone," in my humble opinion, is more helpful for children and families than running to and fro.</p>
<p>Deb</p>
Staff
2012-02-21T23:05:00Z
Raising a Child with a Stranger
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-a-Child-with-a-Stranger/-44963500999035443.html
2012-02-17T23:41:00Z
2012-02-17T23:41:00Z
<p>Have you heard about <a href="http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/the-hot-button/could-you-raise-a-child-with-a-stranger/article2324917/?utm_medium=Newsletter&utm_source=Globe%20Life&utm_type=text&utm_content=Could%20you%20raise%20a%20child%20with%20a%20stranger&utm_campaign=92689539" target="_blank">Modamily</a>? <br /><br />It is a group that has been formed to help facilitate co-parenting arrangements between people who want to have a child but are single. It is an appalling development. You have long railed against the selfish attitude that makes people feel entitled to have a child even if the child will be deprived of a normal home (i.e. loving, committed mom and dad living under the same roof). We, your listeners, have a responsibility to speak out in support of those values, not just tut-tut and wring our hands over the state of the world. This means posting on blogs, e-mailing, and encouraging others to do so.</p>
<p>Thanks for the wonderful work you do.</p>
<p>Jennifer</p>
Staff
2012-02-17T23:41:00Z
More Day Care Dangers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/More-Day-Care-Dangers/-73652068252529832.html
2012-02-17T23:38:00Z
2012-02-17T23:38:00Z
<p>It is with a sickness in my heart that I write this email... Recently a local home day care was shut down. When social services entered the home, they found infants and toddlers strapped in car seats in closets with the doors shut and the lights off. They found the owner had not been feeding the children and had only been changing their diapers right before the parents picked them up. She would have radios playing so neighbors couldn't hear the kids screaming and crying.</p>
<p>As the story continues to unfold, many of the parents are piecing things together: why their children always came home starving and thirsty; why they always came home so immaculately clean; (Hello!? They were in car seats all day not being fed!) and why they cried when they were dropped off. She also had weird rules like you can't pick your children up in the middle of the day because it was disruptive and unfair to the other children and when you picked your child up, she met you at the door. Some of the kids who could talk would say bizarre things, but the parents just figured it was a child's imagination talking.</p>
<p>What makes me the most crazy about all of this is all the red flags parents were ignoring! How could they have let this happen? They say were just caught up in the lie that she was so amazing. But come on people, these are your children! Use your brains! It reminded me so much of the Kitty Genovese story from New York (the bystander effect). She didn't even have a valid license and was over limit for the amount of children she had...yet, parents didn't even think to check if her license is valid because other parents took their kids there too and spoke so highly of her.</p>
<p>All I know is parents you have no idea what is going on when you aren't there. I know there are some families who can't survive without putting children in day care; I just hope they really investigate who is watching their children. When I heard the story, the first thing I did was thank my husband for allowing me to stay home.<br /> <br />Thank you Dr. Laura for continuing to advocate for our children by supporting stay-at-home parents...you may not know how much you influence us, but you're work is invaluable. <br /> <br />A.</p>
Staff
2012-02-17T23:38:00Z
I Have Met Teresa Tomeo!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Have-Met-Teresa-Tomeo!/431897838477105347.html
2012-02-16T21:48:00Z
2012-02-16T21:48:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I was absolutely thrilled to see you will be interviewing Teresa Tomeo on your show today! I will be sure to tune in and to buy <a href="/b/Extreme-Makeover:-Women-Transformed-by-Christ,-Not-Conformed-to-the-Culture/996759936048313349.html">her book</a>!<br /><br />I met her approximately ten years ago when I was seventeen years old; it was in the months ensuing 9/11. A lady from my community (unfortunately I cannot remember her name and even how she was involved in the city) asked me to participate in a Remembrance Day event to honor what happened on September 11th. This particular woman had set everything up so key members of our city would speak at this gathering. I was a junior in high school and one of the leaders in our Christian club at school so I was invited to also make a speech. She also invited Mrs. Tomeo to speak.<br /><br />Because it was a decade ago and I was a nervous teenager about to speak in front of hundreds of strangers while it was recorded on our local television station I hate to admit that much of what occurred has been lost to memory, but I do remember some things.<br /><br />I remember clearly it was a bright, sunny, warm but breezy day in spring. The event was held out on our high school football field so the attendees could sit on the bleachers. I remember holding my speech that was printed on a few sheets of computer paper in trembling hands from both nervousness and excitement. And I also remember meeting Teresa Tomeo.<br /><br />I did not know of her before that moment, but my memory easily brings out a professionally austere woman with understated prestige; yet, at the same time, had a friendly, warm and down-to-earth disposition. I remember greeting her and shaking her hand and the word 'powerful' came to mind. Not the kind of power that's dominating but the subtle kind that's telling of an earnest and competent spirit. I left our encounter rather liking her.<br /><br />She carried with her a binder of her speech and she gave it with such authority yet humbleness that was touching.<br /><br />My own speech was much briefer but described where I was and what I was thinking when I learned of the attack at the World Trade Center. I was sitting in math class and the classroom TV monitor came on to show what had happened and what currently was happening. It was horrifying and I will never forget that moment.<br /><br />I just wanted you to know that having Teresa Tomeo as a guest on your show is a fine choice of a person, as I'm sure you're already completely aware.<br /><br />Katherine</p>
Staff
2012-02-16T21:48:00Z
Ten Signs of Real Love
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Ten-Signs-of-Real-Love/215142222773874955.html
2012-02-16T21:46:00Z
2012-02-16T21:46:00Z
<p>Hi Dr Laura,<br /><br />I finished reading your new book on the kindle and loved it...I'm about a year behind in podcasts (we listen for an hour a day as we drive, so busy now that we are expecting baby #2), but we are huge fans. I'm already planning to call in on Thanksgiving with my corny jokes (I've been wanting to for years but always feel too shy at the last minute...this year I'm going to do it!)<br /><br />I wrote a blog post inspired by my marriage about signs of real love I hoped would help others (and is inspired by you in a lot of ways), I thought you might enjoy it: <a href="http://penelopesoasis.com/2011/ten-signs-of-real-love.html" target="_blank">http://penelopesoasis.com/2011/ten-signs-of-real-love.html</a><br /><br />Thank you again for everything you do, I am soooo glad you went to Sirius (siriusly -wink)<br /><br />Penelope</p>
Staff
2012-02-16T21:46:00Z
Neighborhood 'Dog Watch'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Neighborhood-Dog-Watch/234589628027925477.html
2012-02-15T22:56:00Z
2012-02-15T22:56:00Z
<p>A cop shows up at my house last night and tells me my dog is barking… I say "Yeah, that's what dogs do". He says," Someone three blocks down complained." I asked him who it was. He says, "I can't give you that information". I told him thank you and I will try to keep her quiet.</p>
<p>So, the problem I have is nobody has any courage anymore... If you have a problem with my dog barking tell me yourself! Why do people waste our law enforcement officers' time with such petty stuff! If someone makes a complaint against me, I deserve to know who it is, right? I am a reasonable guy. I can understand if someone is upset with me and try to correct it.</p>
<p>I didn't have a problem telling the guy down the street to slow down when he drove through the neighborhood at mach1 while my kids were playing in the yard, or knocking on my neighbor's door and asking him to please keep his cat in his own yard. I didn't call the cops or animal control to come and clean up my other neighbor's dog off the street when a speeder ran it over and just kept going. I took care of it with my neighbor. We helped each other solve a problem... Maybe that's why our country is going to hell in a hand basket. Nobody wants to be a "neighbor" or handle their own issues. We can all hide behind "Johnny Law" and he will make it all better.</p>
<p>People, it's time to get your proverbial "STONES" back and take care of your own business. Try it sometime. It is a good feeling handling your own problems. I highly recommend it. Let's make sure our law enforcement officers can enforce the law and keep us safe. Not waste time making sure every barking dog in America is silenced...</p>
<p>Oh, and to the person who complained, I am on Amazon.com right now looking for a shock collar to keep my dog quiet. Figured I would tell everyone on Facebook since I don't have the option to tell you in person...</p>
<p>Bobby</p>
Staff
2012-02-15T22:56:00Z
Parents Give Your Children Attention or Someone Else Will
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parents-Give-Your-Children-Attention-or-Someone-Else-Will/455360791480584928.html
2012-02-15T22:54:00Z
2012-02-15T22:54:00Z
<p>Thirty-five years ago, I was a latch-key 14-year-old with parents too busy with the family business who did not notice a pedophile had entered their daughter's life. I didn't know he was a pedophile at the time. He was a school counselor at a middle school who actually listened to me, took an interest, seemed to care (that's what I thought, anyway). Slowly, he groomed me and a sexual relationship developed that lasted for two years. I liked the attention; that is what mattered most. He was only the first... There would be other pedophiles in high school who sensed my vulnerability; then abusive relationships with boyfriends and a failed marriage.</p>
<p>Finally, I am now married 10 years to a man who loves me and treats me well.</p>
<p>Parents, please give your children full attention otherwise they will turn somewhere else: Drugs, alcohol, gangs, or to a pedophile.</p>
<p>Please do not use my name.</p>
Staff
2012-02-15T22:54:00Z
It's the Little Romantic Things
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Its-the-Little-Romantic-Things/-346757435403227681.html
2012-02-14T23:03:00Z
2012-02-14T23:03:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I just went to Lowe's to get some new plants for our little garden, plus some special things for tonight to make MY incredible husband of 13 plus years his favorite meal for Valentine's Day.</p>
<p>When he woke up this morning, he saw I had put Valentine decorations on his bathroom mirrors, to begin his day. We exchanged beautiful cards together at 5 am! When I packed his lunch....I had wrapped his sandwiches in Valentines paper, with a heart I had cut out and colored (NOT an artist for sure!!!), and a little box of mints that said "Crazy 4 You" on top.</p>
<p>When I just returned from shopping....I was greeted by a big box on my front doorstep marked Shari's Berries!! Inside are the MOST incredible chocolate dipped berries from my sweetie. The box is already lighter by 3!!! I called him out on the jobsite where he works to tell him how very much I love him and APPRECIATE him.</p>
<p>I put love notes in his lunch routinely telling him how loved and appreciated he is. No, it's not about the gorgeous flowers he brought home last night....or the berries today....it's the shark infested waters he swims through EVERY DAY for me and our marriage. Tell your listeners that if they WANT a great marriage...and want to KEEP a great marriage....do the little romantic things that sometimes get lost after several years of just getting "comfortable" with each other. Little things make a spark that will keep things ignited for a lifetime. I've learned SO MUCH from listening to you...and with that I say thank you. I know you will have a wonderful Valentine's Day as well.</p>
<p>Chris, a very faithful listener</p>
Staff
2012-02-14T23:03:00Z
The Perfect Valentine
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Perfect-Valentine/-222054409870043725.html
2012-02-14T23:00:00Z
2012-02-14T23:00:00Z
<p>My mother sent the perfect Valentine to me, my brother and sisters today. To understand the "story", you need to know her father (my grandfather) was killed in a chemical plant explosion; her husband (my father) was then also in a chemical plant explosion 29 years later. My parents recently celebrated their 57th wedding anniversary. I am too far away to share the chocolate pie she mentions with them tonight, but my husband and I will celebrate with a chocolate pie of our own!! - Ellen</p>
<p>Here is what she wrote:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">"HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU ALL!</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">It was 50 years ago today Dad was in the explosion at Dow. He was not home by 6 PM so I sat you girls down (Paul, you were there, in utero) and I fed you your hamburgers. It is still very clear in my mind. The call came at 6:05 that Dad was on his way to the Dow Medical building, but he was sitting up in the ambulance. I do not know who I got to come stay with you when I went. They kept him at the Dow facility because they were doing a new treatment by not covering the burns and they were afraid he would get an infection at the hospital. Now this is the standard treatment for burns.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Every Valentine's Day I am thankful he got such good care. My father died of his burns in April 1933. Of course Dad's were not as horrible as my Dad's were. But I still thank God and the doctors for his recovery.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">I will have a chocolate pie today and if you have time, stop over this evening before 10 PM and share some with us.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Lots of Love, MOM"</p>
Staff
2012-02-14T23:00:00Z
Making the Move to SAHM
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Making-the-Move-to-SAHM/929921348649382830.html
2012-02-13T19:50:00Z
2012-02-13T19:50:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>When I was 24, an ambitious young woman and aspiring entertainment executive, two things rattled my career-gal world: First, I read Lisa Belkin's article, "<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2003/10/26/magazine/26WOMEN.html?scp=1&sq=opt-out%20revolution&st=cse" target="_blank">The Opt-Out Revolution</a>" about successful women who decided to "opt-out" of their careers and become SAHMs. Second, I started listening to you. Though my own mom stayed at home with me, I had never considered being a SAHM myself before then. I was a valedictorian. I went to a fancy college. I was in a highly competitive industry. I was going to succceeeeeed in life! But once rattled, I looked around and saw not a single woman in my industry whose home life I truly admired. So I began to mentally prepare myself for my eventual departure from the working world, and I started to think of "success" in a very different way.</p>
<p>Now I'm 32, 8 1/2 months pregnant and getting ready to make the move - literally and metaphorically. We can't afford to stay where we are without my salary, so my husband is busily packing up the house and we're moving to my home state which is more affordable and closer to my parents. The plan is for him to find work there. Yes, money will be tight (even if he finds a good job we'll be living on 1/4 of what we're used to), yes it's scary "in this economy," yes I've already given up highlights and traded a new car for an older one, but I am so excited. My staying at home is something we discussed on our second date. It's a deal we made before we married, and we are sticking to it. To those who say they would be SAHMs if they could afford it, I say where there's a will there's a way. Will we have, we just need a little luck and I have faith it will all work out.</p>
<p>I'm sure some of my "successful" friends think I'm nuts for giving up the career I've spent 10 years building, but I see it as the next big adventure! As for my coworkers, they all just assume I'll be coming back. They seem to think the $1800 a month company run day care is a gift from God. I want to tell them - I wouldn't trust a temp to replace me at the office for 2 weeks, let alone take over the most important position I'll ever have! It baffles me.</p>
<p>I am so grateful, Dr. Laura, I picked a husband who is willing to take this leap with me, and to you for being a strong voice in my head these past 8 years. For the record, my own mom - who is not the stereotypical '50s housewife, who taught me to be independent and strong - is THRILLED with my decision.</p>
<p>Thank you again for defending us on a daily basis, and please wish us luck!</p>
<p>Sincerely yours,</p>
<p>Future SAHM</p>
Staff
2012-02-13T19:50:00Z
How Facebook Affected Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/How-Facebook-Affected-Me/-913504956423818804.html
2012-02-13T19:30:00Z
2012-02-13T19:30:00Z
<p>I am currently separated from my husband of 29 years. Just last week, I deactivated my Facebook account because I found it made me angrier and hurt. I found I was resenting people on there who displayed their relationship as great. When I was in my angry phase of the emotional tide, I found myself wanting to destroy my husband publicly, wanting to get on the profile of his "female friend" and see what she's up to with hopes to destroy her image, and to top it off, any comment made to my wall or I made on the wall of my friends who were also mutual friends of my husband's "female friend" were seen by her and I resented that. I'm not working and so the time I spent on FB was really a total waste of negative time I didn't need. I needed to find positive time and activities that would help me through this ordeal.</p>
<p>A.</p>
Staff
2012-02-13T19:30:00Z
Why I Quit Facebook
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-I-Quit-Facebook/-478331303135485757.html
2012-02-10T21:52:00Z
2012-02-10T21:52:00Z
<p>When I opened your email this morning saying you were talking today about Facebook affecting a person's mental health I was so happy.</p>
<p>I quit Facebook almost a year ago for some of the very reasons you mentioned! I am a young mom (28 with 4 kids, started when I was 19) and I was finding seeing pictures constantly of all the outings my old group of friends were having without me was making me depressed and resenting the life that I CHOSE! I knew deep inside I didn't want to hang out with them even if they had invited me, yet when I saw the pictures I couldn't help but feel jealous and lonely. I also would become dissatisfied when I'd see pictures of "friends" vacations. We haven't chosen to afford fancy vacations, never mind with ($$$!) or without (babysitter!) our kids. And I'm ok with that. But I wouldn't be ok with it when I saw their pictures. Even little things like seeing "friends" pictures looking gorgeous in their bikinis would be enough to send me over the edge. I am fit but my tummy is covered in stretch marks (all 3 of my boys were 9lbs 6oz!) and there's no way you'd catch me looking good in a bikini. So I'd just start to hate myself more.</p>
<p>Another reason was all the drama it seemed to create in my life. A few years later I STILL have a broken relationship with one of my cousins and countless hurts over the years of people's thoughts and ideas not being expressed appropriately because of lack of context or emotion displayed in text, or even, just lack of maturity.</p>
<p>Facebook has changed our social behaviors, and not for the better. I have people in my life whom I think are great, and when I see them now and then I'd love to catch up and see how they are. But I don't need to be their Facebook "friend". The problem with that is if you are not, you are dubbed as a total snob if you deny their friend request. So even your arms-length "friends" now must be your Facebook "friend". There is no such thing as acquaintances anymore! I don't ever plan to return to Facebook. I have been much happier and content without it.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for always addressing the real issues. I don't think my marriage would have survived its first year if I weren't listening to you everyday! You have helped me be a better mother (I am MyKidsMom!) and I'm so grateful for your tell it like it is attitude.</p>
<p>Love,<br />J. - living Facebook-free since 2011</p>
Staff
2012-02-10T21:52:00Z
Facebook Smackdown
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Facebook-Smackdown/-957112729154461630.html
2012-02-10T21:47:00Z
2012-02-10T21:47:00Z
<p>The worst thing I've done on Facebook was to call someone out on what I perceived as bad behavior. I've always hated Facebook birthday greetings because I think they are lazy and impersonal. For example, on my 40th birthday, a dear friend put a quick "Happy Birthday" on my wall, when this relationship qualified for a phone call at the very least. Facebook has lowered the bar for something that used to be so meaningful.</p>
<p>My best friend died in November. Her birthday came around in December. I shouldn't have done this, but I looked at her Facebook wall that day, and among the many expressions of sorrow and loss, there were indeed messages from people who clearly did not know she had passed. One such message was from a mutual friend of ours from college. I was enraged. How could this person not at least click through to her w all to see what was going on in her life before blithely clicking that easy little button that allows you to say "Happy birthday! Hope you're well!" and then wash his hands of her and move on?</p>
<p>I sent him a message. "Hey, did you know our friend died?! SHE DIED. You might want to check people's Facebook pages before you post things without thinking."</p>
<p>Of course this guy was devastated and embarrassed. Later I felt terrible for doing that to him, realizing I had acted out of grief and hurt, and I apologized. I never heard from him again.</p>
<p>And we're not friends on Facebook.</p>
<p>K.</p>
Staff
2012-02-10T21:47:00Z
Guns in Canada
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Guns-in-Canada/37041156557664658.html
2012-02-09T23:29:00Z
2012-02-09T23:29:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura</p>
<p>Just wanted to respond regarding a caller from Friday's show from Canada saying guns aren't allowed in Canada. That is completely incorrect. Many people have guns in Canada, however, you must take a short course called CORE (Conservation Outdoor Recreation Education) and you must have an FAC (Firearms Acquisition Certificate) and you must register your guns. EVERYONE in Canada is allowed to own a gun as long as you have the proper certificates in place saying you know how to safely use one. Canada is country filled with hunters, and believe me many people own several guns. For handguns you need a special permit.</p>
<p>There are many gun ranges and gun clubs.</p>
<p>You said something to the effect you wouldn't want to live in a country that didn't allow guns. Rest assured, you can happily live here and own a gun. We'd love to have you! Canada is a great country. We just want to make sure people know how to handle their weapons. C'mon over and check us out.</p>
<p>Lovin' livin' in Canada.</p>
Staff
2012-02-09T23:29:00Z
Why Don't Wives Listen?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Dont-Wives-Listen/846174144165388875.html
2012-02-09T23:27:00Z
2012-02-09T23:27:00Z
<p>Regarding your YouTube video entitled: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/drlaura#p/u/0/Nn7cipZREeM" target="_blank">Helping with His "Honey-Do" List</a>… as usual, I loved your answer to this woman. I remember several times where my wife would ask "What can I get you for Valentine's Day (birthday or whatever)?" When she had over $12,000 in credit card debt, I suggested she not spend any money on me, but either "surprise me with lovemaking or put an extra payment on your debt, maybe what you were going to spend on my gift," which would have please me.</p>
<p>Sadly, she did neither. She bought me a nice expensive gift. I really would have preferred making love first or the extra payment on her debt second. This indicated to me she really just keeps me around for company and doesn't care what I want.</p>
<p>Sign me: "Not feeling the love."</p>
Staff
2012-02-09T23:27:00Z
Midlife Changes - Listeners tell their stories
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Midlife-Changes---Listeners-tell-their-stories/345965504055477624.html
2012-02-08T22:22:00Z
2012-02-08T22:22:00Z
<p>When asked, <em>"What's the most important change you made in your life once you hit your mid 40s or 50s? How did it turn out?"</em> many listeners submitted their stories. Here are only a few:</p>
<p><br />The most important change I have made after 40 is to be nicer every day to my husband and children. Now, I truly am a fairly nice person by most standards; however, life with 3 active children can be hectic at times. While I hug, kiss, and tell them I love them every day, I also have a bit of reprimanding and fussing thrown into the mix. The older I get, the easier it is to see how lives change in an instant, and we are not promised one more moment, much less one more day. Therefore, I have tried to overlook more "situations" and have more fun with my family. I would hate to being taken away tomorrow with their last memories of me being nagging and fussing!</p>
<p>How is it working out, you ask? Well, I am a work in progress, but I do feel like this decision helps me to live more consciously. I am doing a better job at expressing gratitude and not taking things for granted.</p>
<p>Jenny</p>
<p><br />*****</p>
<p><br />When I reached the ripe old age of 44, I faced some difficult truths about myself. I had made a mistake marrying someone hoping "he'd change", and had danced around that fact for the past fourteen years. I also had not realized I was pretending to disdain what I did truly dream for (family life) so my fellow career-women would not look down upon me.</p>
<p>I threw it all over, and honestly the moment I did, I became ME. I said to myself I would rather be alone than be like married roommates ever again.</p>
<p>The week my "Three A's" (addict, adulterer, abuser) ex moved out, I met the man who would later become my loving, sweet, manly, honorable, home-loving husband. I wasn't even looking, though I said to myself if I ever did marry again, it would be to man who met my very strict requirements. This man was all that and more.</p>
<p>I was extremely cautious, but with that one door closing, a new one opened, and I now have home and family and more love and belonging than I dreamed of. Others might see "housewife", but when I look in my mirror I see a woman who is needed, appreciated and treasured. I matter to my family and I love them more than anything.</p>
<p>L.</p>
<p><br />*****</p>
<p><br />Hi Dr. L:</p>
<p>I had long prayed for a kid and prayed that God would allow me to 'work around my kid's schedule', not the other way around. Well, I was 35 when I gave birth (after losing 2 pregnancies), and I was so thankful. I was also working in a 'good government job,' had been promoted to manager and making a pretty good salary for my age/time at this agency. In fact, I found out I was pregnant about one week before I walked across the stage to accept my Master's of Arts degree. Go figure, right? God does have a sense of humor, because, although I still wanted a child, I had sort of 'accepted' I would probably not carry any to term.</p>
<p>Needless to say, I did not want to go back to work. I thoroughly enjoyed raising my own kid, as tiring as it was. My daughter was/is a 'mommy's girl. When I did go back to work, I was 'thankful', (but guilty) that my kid's god-parents had an in-home day care and my kid loved being with them and their family anyway. I made an effort to leave work on the dot and once I picked her up (they only live around the corner from us), we were always together, including weekends. The rule I had was, 'since I HAD to work 40 hr weeks, on the weekends, if my kid could not go with me wherever I went, then I could not go, either.' This worked for a while, as long as I had some 'flexibility' in my work schedule and as long as I pushed aside the guilt I was still feeling.</p>
<p>Fast forward: Of course, things change. The 'flexibility' at work began to be reduced more and more gradually. The workload increased, my daughter was growing, I was tired, torn, and more miserable at work. I was sick of having to put everything off until the weekends, only to not be able to get done much of what needed to be done, including child/family activities, etc. Then, worst of all, because of my job, I had to find someone to take my daughter to school and/or pick her up-which wasn't consistent.</p>
<p>One day, when my daughter was almost 4, she asked me, "Mommy, who's picking me up tomorrow?" She said it innocently enough, but, I thought, "If she is asking this at four, then she must have some concerns, angst, etc," about this, too. That did it for me. I began to pray more and pretty much the only thing God brought back to my memory were the prayers I prayed, and it was as if I heard God ask me, "Are you going to trust ME, since I gave you this child, or are you going to live in fear of not having money, because you are 'comfortable' with the salary you are earning?"</p>
<p>Well, since I'm writing you, you can guess what I did. After about 6 more months, I paid off some debt, prayed, talked to my husband, and realized I was responsible for the health, welfare, and rearing of another human, dependant life, of whom I would kill for, if necessary. I resigned from my 'good government job,' and I haven't looked back since, in spite of some goofy remarks from family.</p>
<p>E.</p>
<p><br />*****</p>
<p><br />The most important change I have made is to RELAX. I have been in law enforcement 30 years and I have had to make a great effort to take time to enjoy my boyfriend/husband, kids and grandkids. I am so glad I did that. What I would have missed.</p>
<p>J.</p>
<p><br />*****</p>
<p><br />The most important change I made in my mid-40's...</p>
<p>…was becoming my husband's girlfriend. My husband and I already had what we'd both describe as a really good marriage of 20+ years. Then we started listening to EVERY hour of your program via Podcast, often together while we were cooking dinner or doing household chores that would otherwise seem tedious. We would pause for discussion when a caller's dilemma touched home or made us want to ask each other a similar question. Just this made us grow closer.</p>
<p>Then I read the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. It opened my eyes to what my husband was SETTLING with in ME! I have a lot of anxiety "issues" and he was always the one I could let loose on knowing he'd be there forever no matter how I treated him. And you know what? He would have. And that's why he deserved me to stop EVER treating him that way, no matter what I was dealing with. Since reading that book and taking much of what you have said over the years to heart, my honey and I have a level of closeness and trust I couldn't have imagined between 2 people in separate bodies. Our love, and every facet of our lives, have a level of depth I never thought imaginable until I began trusting my man 100%, and gave him every reason to trust me 100%.</p>
<p>Thanks Dr. Laura. If there were such a thing as a "Mid-life Crisis," your presence in our lives thwarted ours!</p>
<p>Nannette</p>
<p><br />*****</p>
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura</p>
<p>The color of my midlife crisis is blue and white After a very challenging 5 years - breast cancer, double mastectomy, oophorectomy - I faced my terror of flight. After everything else I figured learning to fly would be easy. Long story short I am a licensed pilot and bought an airplane. Since I don't have children, I want to somehow make a difference with this blessing of flight. Not sure how to do it but " will show the way. Besides, how many frum female pilots are out there?</p>
<p>Thank you for being there over the years.</p>
<p>C.</p>
<p><br />*****</p>
<p><br />No crisis… You just wake up one day and realize that you can buy that car you always wanted.</p>
<p>You realize there's a lot more to life and you want to try something else. (I started Shaolin Kung Fu at 51)</p>
<p>You're tired of the BS you've been tolerating for years and realize you can stand up for yourself for once.</p>
<p>It's not a crisis, it's a choice.</p>
<p>Mark</p>
<p><br />*****</p>
<p><br />Hello Dr. Laura -</p>
<p>My change was huge - I got married for the first time at 46! I married a retired Marine who was my pen pal during Desert Storm.</p>
<p>Apart from being responsible for myself, pets, job, etc., I had never had to put anyone else first and I really enjoyed doing that from the very beginning. We are still married; it will be 20 years this June. We have had our ups and downs, but it is wonderful to have someone firmly "in my corner". He would swim through shark infested waters to get me a lemonade without a blink. He is my hero and I tell him that all the time.</p>
<p>With warm regards,</p>
<p>Diana</p>
Staff
2012-02-08T22:22:00Z
Reading The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands while Deployed!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Reading-The-Proper-Care-and-Feeding-of-Husbands-while-Deployed!/-833906914935461358.html
2012-02-07T19:55:00Z
2012-02-07T19:55:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am sending you a picture of me reading your book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" while I am deployed in Afghanistan. By the way, my desk has since been cleaned...</p>
<p>I hope you all enjoy it!</p>
<p>My brother thought I should send it because you also clearly see my 9mm in the picture, for added emphasis, I guess!</p>
<p>Lynn</p>
<p style="text-align: left;">P.S. I really liked the book and my friend is now reading it. Both of our husbands are the civilians. I have been recommending it to everyone. I am currently reading "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage". Oh, and I knew I had a dreamy outstanding awesome husband before I read the book, but after reading it, my opinion was even more solidified!</p>
<p><br /><img style="float: left;" src="/images/blog/afghanistan_500.jpg" alt="Lynn reading PCFH in Afghanistan" width="500" height="375" /></p>
Staff
2012-02-07T19:55:00Z
My Letter to the Susan G. Komen Foundation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Letter-to-the-Susan-G.-Komen-Foundation/-748091730097413959.html
2012-02-06T20:28:00Z
2012-02-06T20:28:00Z
<p>As a past walker with the Susan G. Komen Foundation, I'm INCREDIBLY disappointed in the way this organization has waffled and crumbled under pressure with regard to the Planned Parenthood decision. Putting aside the aspect of who the funding was going to, just the fact that SGK announced a decision, and then went back on that (incredibly noble) decision is bad enough, but to turn around and pledge support to an organization the likes of Planned Parenthood is just horrendous.</p>
<p>I'm a self righteous goody two-shoes; just your average middle class mom. BUT, I am a mom with 3 daughters. I am a mom who walked in support of what SGK stands for - LIFE, among other things - just last November, and walked with a team which had one of the highest fundraising totals in our state. I AM a mom who is terrified at the thought of an organization like P.P., which can perform on my under-aged, teen daughters a surgical procedure resulting in the death of a child. That they can do this terrible thing to children WITHOUT EVEN THE KNOWLEDGE OR CONSENT from the minor child's parents is just criminal.</p>
<p>Shame on you Susan G. Komen Foundation. Shame. I will never again be walking for the Komen Foundation in the future, nor will I support anyone who does. I am not the first on my team to feel this way, either.</p>
<p>Time to re-evaluate what you stand for.....LIFE.</p>
<p>A.</p>
Staff
2012-02-06T20:28:00Z
Back With The Ex
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Back-With-The-Ex/171056495654296100.html
2012-02-06T20:25:00Z
2012-02-06T20:25:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I was married at 19 for 22 years to the love of my life. Although, we were very different on many levels we made it work for quite some time. We divorced in 2005 and I never looked back. However, our two sons, ages then 13 and 16, did.</p>
<p>One evening, last March, my ex and I met to take our youngest to yet another rehab center. We were running late and we decided to go to dinner. All I can say is that night changed all of our lives. We re-connected and have been "working" on our relationship ever since. It has not been easy to say the least, but there is no greater satisfaction than to hear our now adult children say they are soooo happy to see Dad and Mom together. <br /><br />Although, it was an adjustment for me to go back to cooking and cleaning and taking care of others, I look at it now as my gift to my family. It's not a chore, it's a privilege. Second chances are possible.</p>
<p>T.</p>
Staff
2012-02-06T20:25:00Z
Dangerous and Deadly Bullying
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dangerous-and-Deadly-Bullying/568162094343279953.html
2012-02-03T23:14:00Z
2012-02-03T23:14:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>As a mother of two young sons, I am alarmed by the different kinds of bullying methods that are used today and some of these methods, as we know, are potentially deadly.</p>
<p>I wanted to make you aware of a website I found which has the potential of destroying many people's lives and reputations. When I was searching for something else, I happened to come across a website and when I clicked into it, I noticed it was a forum for people to post pictures and comments about people they hate. Then other users can vote if that person is a "jerk" or not and post additional damaging comments. They post the victim's name and photo and after that, it's a free-for-all libelous forum. What was VERY alarming was many of the names and pictures I saw posted were of middle-school aged children. There was one particular posting about a red-headed boy who didn't even look like he was out of middle school. Someone had posted his picture, his full name, and then posted they thought he was a loser and a "f-g". Another person said he won't go to heaven. Then many others posted negative comments about this poor child just based on his appearance. As a mother, I am horrified.</p>
<p>By the way, I am currently pursuing a Doctor of Psychology while I stay at home. (I am one of those women who left a high-powered career to stay at home). Anyhow, one of the things that concerns me as a parent and as a future psychologist is this phenomenon of online bullying. I see it has been responsible for deaths already, but when I see sites like this, I see it is going to be getting a whole lot worse. How do we, as parents, stop the tide and protect our own children?</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, I love your show and you are the absolute role model for all women! You go, girl!!</p>
<p>Sarah</p>
Staff
2012-02-03T23:14:00Z
Komen Going to Fund Planned Parenthood Again!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Komen-Going-to-Fund-Planned-Parenthood-Again!/-958453684842672201.html
2012-02-03T23:09:00Z
2012-02-03T23:09:00Z
<p>Not happy that the Susan G. Komen Foundation has gone back to giving funds to Planned Parenthood!! I checked out the PP website and couldn't believe what I read about abortions - -That they "are very common" - see below:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>"There are two kinds of abortion in the U.S. - in-clinic abortion and the abortion pill.</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>Abortions are very common. In fact, more than 1 out of 3 women in the U.S. have an abortion by the time they are 45 years old.</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>If you are pregnant, you have options. If you are trying to decide if abortion is the right choice for you, you probably have many things to think about. Learning the facts about abortion may help you in making your decision. You may also want to learn more about parenting and adoption.</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>If you are under 18, your state may require one or both of your parents to give permission for your abortion or be told of your decision prior to the abortion. However, in most states you can ask a judge to excuse you from these requirements. Learn more about parental consent for abortion.</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>Only you can decide what is best for you. But we are here to help. A staff member at your local Planned Parenthood health center can discuss abortion and all of your options with you and help you find the services you need."</em></p>
<p>I will never support walking for the Komen Foundation in the future!</p>
<p>Pam</p>
Staff
2012-02-03T23:09:00Z
The Love You Take
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Love-You-Take/-936401412277896119.html
2012-02-02T21:38:00Z
2012-02-02T21:38:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am 31 years old, I am my husband's girlfriend and working on being my future children's mother.</p>
<p>A few years ago, my best friend, Jessica, reintroduced me to you after years of despising you. As young teens, her dad would listen to your show daily and lecture us on being good girls - It drove us nuts. We considered ourselves feminists and saw your ways as old school - your show was holding women back, encouraging the idea women were the weaker gender and should live to serve their men. When I got married 2 years ago, we had a very rough start. My husband and I fought a lot, dealing with major issues in our relationship. Around that time, Jessica asked me if I'd listened to you recently. I was shocked. "You mean that terrible woman your dad used to listen to??" She encouraged me to listen to your radio show with different ears. We started talking about how we were treating our men and our minds opened to the idea that perhaps we had been wrong about your message. From there, I picked up "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and my world changed. I became a regular listener of your show. I picked up "Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships" and signed up for your newsletter. I told my mom, sister, aunts and husband all about you because I wanted everyone to read your books and see what I now see.</p>
<p>My relationship with my husband has dramatically changed. I know how to take care of my King... it is so easy. The love I get in return is indescribable. Now we are ready for a family and have started the process of buying a home, bringing us to a new obstacle - the Don't Be A Stay At Home Mom mentality. We both have great full time jobs but are applying for a home loan with only one salary - his. This is a big step because my current income is over a third of our household income, plus by quitting my job, I will be losing a large amount of unvested stock. Our lifestyle is about to go through a major change. Some of my friends and family think I am crazy to give that up. I've been encouraged to "put it in a spreadsheet" and "weigh out the opportunity cost" more than a handful of times. But then I think about my childhood, how even as my parents struggled for money, my mom was always there. She raised me as a baby and took on an in-home day care when my sister was born so even if she couldn't give us her full attention, at least she was the one raising us. I think about how lucky I am to have a husband who fully supports my wishes to raise our children and how blessed we are to have income we do to make this happen.</p>
<p>Dr. Laura, the greatest thing about your message is that it applies to ALL relationships: husband to wife, mother to child, sister to brother, best friend to best friend. The love you put into a relationship is the love you'll get out of it. Thank you for being such a role model in this way.</p>
<p>E.</p>
Staff
2012-02-02T21:38:00Z
Gold Medal Stay at Home Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Gold-Medal-Stay-at-Home-Dad/-835462126943014141.html
2012-02-02T21:36:00Z
2012-02-02T21:36:00Z
<p>My husband and I started a business and I went back to work for the first time in 20 years. We joined the Chamber of Commerce and I went to hear an Olympic gold medalist speak even though I know 0 about the Olympics. There were empty seats toward the front so I sat there and asked the gentleman next to me what he did. He told me he was stay at home dad to his 2 girls age 1 and 3. He was clearly very proud of what he did. I was impressed without knowing who he was. This was Jimmy Shea, our speaker and I had no clue. He said raising his kids was not very different from training as a professional athlete, he does everything he does with total passion. He is a 3rd generation gold medalist and said kids are pushed too hard to compete in sports today and his family never pushed him. You would love this man and I thought of this when I watched your video on stay at home dads. Here was a man manly enough and able to embrace what he is doing. I am certain his wife is still able to see him as a hero.</p>
<p>By the way, my son is a Marine. Listening to you really helped me to understand and be proud of what he is doing.</p>
<p>Liz</p>
Staff
2012-02-02T21:36:00Z
I Am The One My Son Leans On
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Am-The-One-My-Son-Leans-On/-466927884034861472.html
2012-02-01T23:11:00Z
2012-02-01T23:11:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Today I met my son at the bus stop like I always do, and walked home with him. We chatted a bit about his day, but when we walked in the house he ran off to fly his remote control helicopter. I played with my daughter in the living room for about an hour before I started dinner.</p>
<p>Then my son came in and asked for a snack. I offered him a cutie and a few leftover slices of homemade French toast sticks and told him that's all he could have since dinner would be ready in 30 minutes. Hearing this sent him into an utter melt-down. My six year old, who is generally well-behaved, had completely quit the earth. I had to drag him to his room and told him he could come out when he stopped crying. I got some water boiling then I peeled him another cutie and went into his room. I handed him his snack and asked him if his day had been rough. He stopped his tantrum and with tears of sadness in his eyes he told me it had been a bad day, no one had played with him at recess and his best friend just wanted to play with some girl. My heart broke for him. His melt down wasn't about a snack, it was the avenue for the bottled up hurt he felt over being shunned by his classmates that day. I hugged him and cried with him and then we talked about what he could do the next day to get some of his buddies to play with him. I also told him I would eat lunch with him at the school the next day. (In my day that would've been social suicide but at his school it's very cool because they get to eat at a special table with their mom and invite 2 friends to come with them.) After that I called three of the boys in his class (I know all the good ones to call because I volunteer in his classroom), and invited them over for a homemade pizza party the following night.</p>
<p>I kept thinking of my friends with "nannies". I wondered if those nannies would've been intuitive enough to understand there was more going on in the life of that special 6 year old than just disappointment over the size of his snack. My answer was no. I wondered if they would sit with him, hold him, cry with him and tell him they understood. My answer was no. I wondered if they would have immediately made plans the next day to have some buddies over for a pizza party. My answer was no. I wondered if they would go eat lunch at the school with him. My answer was no.</p>
<p>I am SO GRATEFUL to be my kids' mom. I am grateful to be the one to dry their tears. As sick as it sometimes makes me to see them hurt, I am glad I get to see it, support them through it and fix it any way I can. I'm so lucky. I wouldn't let anyone else near my job. EVER. No one can do it better than me and nobody cares more than I do. What a great feeling it is to be so satisfied with my job and so fulfilled at the end of the day. Wow, I am truly blessed.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Emily</p>
Staff
2012-02-01T23:11:00Z
Things Not In My Control
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Things-Not-In-My-Control/124947295453980466.html
2012-02-01T23:06:00Z
2012-02-01T23:06:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura</p>
<p>I phoned you about 6 months ago because I was trying to 'fix' my husband's relationship with his mother. She has nothing to do with us or our children while living only minutes away. My husband has very little to say about this, only that his mother will change her attitude when she misses us enough and until then our children have 3 other amazing grandparents.</p>
<p>Since your advice, I have stopped trying to fix the things out of my control and I am enjoying the relationships in our lives that are uplifting and positive. I am also letting my husband be the man he is and not undermining his decisions. Mostly I wanted to change this relationship because I always hoped my children would have the grandparents I never did. Now I see they do, without her. This has helped my marriage so much. Thank you for your passion, your wisdom and your insight. You may never know just how much you saved.</p>
<p>From an ever grateful and lucky lady who married a real man. Now thanks to you I am behaving more like his loving girlfriend.</p>
<p>Abigail</p>
Staff
2012-02-01T23:06:00Z
Finally Free to Be Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finally-Free-to-Be-Me/957566196418359668.html
2012-01-31T23:14:00Z
2012-01-31T23:14:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>This letter to you is a long time coming. I have listened to you since I was 13; I am 30 now. You have been a moral voice in my life as I grew up with a father who had no integrity or good character and with a drug addict, suicidal, mentally ill mother. I wanted to tell you about my path and in part because of you where I am today.</p>
<p>I was a doormat for my mom to walk on for most of my years: I was her mother, her crutch and after my parents divorce - she treated me like a whipped husband. And I let her. I let her use me: I shopped for her, at times fed and bathed her, and was her taxi service when she did leave the house. There was so much more than this but I think you get the idea.</p>
<p>Today I am living on my own and recently set some firm limits in our relationship. She recently re-married and considered coming back to live with me again because it was too hard to give in her marriage and she wanted a slave. I told her no more, we would not live together because now it's my turn to live my life; she had her chance and has blown it every step of the way. No longer would I be her mother and I told her so; I told her I am happy living this way for the first time in my life - happy. As a result she went back with her husband and I have since started on my weight loss journey. You see, I gained 139 lbs. during the duration of my self-allowed imprisonment. I lost 7.5 lbs over the holidays; I am now down 12 lbs. in the last 3 weeks or so. I have a LONG way to go, but I am keeping loving and realistic expectations on myself and looking at this as empowerment, freeing me to be ME. My life has never been better, I am serving in my church, singing, crafting, spending quality time with quality friends and enjoying the little things in life.</p>
<p>You have been my long-distance Mom all these years, for that I am more than grateful - I am changed! Bless you and your family!!</p>
<p>H</p>
Staff
2012-01-31T23:14:00Z
She's Getting It!!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Shes-Getting-It!!/-350115967393889167.html
2012-01-31T23:11:00Z
2012-01-31T23:11:00Z
<p>I want to start this email off by telling you thank you.</p>
<p>At Christmas, my husband and I wanted to get his daughter and her husband a gift which would keep on giving.. So we got them both their own copies of "Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage. Knowing this is a new marriage and they had been married before. He has two kids and now they have a new baby. SHE IS A STAY AT HOME MOM. That is love all the way. She has a good man who loves her and she loves him also. </p>
<p>And she is getting it. It's her place to take care of him and in return, he will take care of her. If she is happy then he is happy. And she just wants him happy by putting him and the baby first and foremost and she will do all that she can to make that happen. She can see just what it is I feel for her father and why I spoil him rotten. He is a great man and I love and respect him for all that he does so we can have what we do. He is my friend and my lover, partner and my soul mate - And a great husband. I just wanted to say thank you thank you. You help us mothers, wives, girlfriends put our best foot forward.</p>
<p>Keep it up.<br /> <br />Cheryl</p>
Staff
2012-01-31T23:11:00Z
Working in Childcare for Teen Moms
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Working-in-Childcare-for-Teen-Moms/-580291781338423200.html
2012-01-30T22:18:00Z
2012-01-30T22:18:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I worked for several years as an infant/toddler "teacher" for a large childcare corporation caring for the very young children of parents who would rather have their careers than actually parent their own children. Among other reasons, I grew tired of enabling this behavior, and felt it was morally wrong to continue working there.</p>
<p>I then found work as an infant/toddler "teacher" at an Early Head Start program conveniently located on a high school campus so as to provide care for the young children of the low-income high school student population. The purpose of this federally-funded program is to allow these teen moms to finish high school while providing quality care to their young children. I wish these wonderful innocent children would have been adopted into two parent homes with adults parenting them, however these teenage girls enjoy their new accessories and feeling empowered by being a teen mom. Seeing these "mothers" in action I can't help but feel it would be a disservice to these innocent children to be at home with their "mothers" who are too young and immature to truly mother them. I feel like I'm in the middle of a tragic situation for these children but am doing my best to do the right thing, and within the hours I care for these children I mother them the best I can.</p>
<p>Anonymous</p>
Staff
2012-01-30T22:18:00Z
No Clue He Wasn't Happy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-Clue-He-Wasnt-Happy/-614218226623861066.html
2012-01-27T21:50:00Z
2012-01-27T21:50:00Z
<p>I did it! I got to TWO push-ups today!</p>
<p>And I just read your blog, <a href="/b/How-To-Tell-If-Youre-A-Terrible-Spouse/-879461863369537478.html">How To Tell If You're A Terrible Spouse</a>, and you could have totally been talking to my hubby's cousin. She is the woman for whom you wrote Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.</p>
<p>Long story short, we had been out of touch with said cousin until about a year ago. Since we have reconnected and gotten to know her and her hubby better, we have both wondered how much longer their marriage of more than 20 years would last. Not only did I hear her complain about her hubby, but so did my hubby. And then when my hubby went off with her hubby, my hubby also got to hear HIM complain about HER.</p>
<p>What I had seen was a man who swam through shark infested waters to bring his wife a lemonade only to have his wife complain the lemonade was too sour. Nothing made her happy. And then I saw her - drama after drama - getting snippy, moody and stressed out; creating an all-around poor environment for the family to endure.</p>
<p>Finally, in December, he up and left TAKING their two teenage boys with him. She is DEVASTATED. She has no clue why he wasn't happy.</p>
<p>To her credit, he gave her no warning. In fact, when she would ask him, he would actually say he was happy. He never said, "If things don't change, I am leaving."</p>
<p>But I am still back at your blog, "You REALLY had no clue?"</p>
<p>Just wanted to tell you that you are so right on.</p>
<p>Lisa</p>
Staff
2012-01-27T21:50:00Z
Children Are Not Dry Cleaning
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Children-Are-Not-Dry-Cleaning/-946280874587536056.html
2012-01-27T21:47:00Z
2012-01-27T21:47:00Z
<p>This is in response to the email of the day: <a href="/b/Feeling-Sad-For-Kids/-234661551956401420.html">Feeling Sad for Kids</a></p>
<p>My son, 11, has me at home, Dad working. Yes, I too see these children being picked up at 6pm, dropped off in the morning at 7am. One of the little girls told me she went to bed late last night, at 10:30pm - I asked why, is everything okay? She said her Mom only made dinner at 10pm. Why does anyone choose to have a child and treat that child like the laundry? Drop it off, Pick it up.</p>
<p>Parents - your children love coming to my house, playing with my son, talking to me, eating healthy snacks, running, laughing. So many parents say, "Are you really telling me about my child?... They were good?... They ate that?... They talked to you?" Your children are STARVING for your undivided attention - they need YOU! They want a relationship with YOU - their PARENT!</p>
<p>A girl did a project with my son - they received a 95! It was a great job. I was so proud of them. When my son was on the phone, I asked him to ask her what her Mom and Dad said about the great 95! She replied (this is a full 24 hours after the kids brought home the grade) her Mom didn't look at it and Dad, well, he's busy - Both working and proud of it. They tell me all the time how their jobs are. They may be fulfilling their job CVs, but as for fulfilling their role as parent - I don't even know if an "F" is appropriate. For an "F" you usually know what you've failed at; these parents have no clue beyond the egg incubator and sperm donor. They are so very fortunate to have such great kids.</p>
<p>Parent-at-Home</p>
Staff
2012-01-27T21:47:00Z
Cruise Liner Off-Duty Captain: 'Don't Call Me A Hero'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Cruise-Liner-Off-Duty-Captain:-Dont-Call-Me-A-Hero/747565411577071112.html
2012-01-26T23:49:00Z
2012-01-26T23:49:00Z
<p>Everyone's heard about the liner that ran aground and killed many people while the ship's captain "fell" into a lifeboat. The off-duty captain who was forced to head the evacuation said this:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Roberto Bosio, 44, the captain of one of the Concordia's sister ships, the Serena, said: "Only a disgraceful man would have left all those passengers on board. It was the most horrible experience of my life, a tragedy, a heartache that I will carry with me forever." He added: "I just want to rest and forget. Don't call me a hero. I just did my duty, the duty of a sea captain - actually the duty of a normal man." <br /><br />Read the entire <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/italy/9024768/Costa-Concordia-investigators-probe-role-of-young-Moldovan-woman-on-cruise-ship.html" target="_blank">news article</a>.</p>
<p>It reminded me about the comparisons you've made between heroes and role models. This guy is both!</p>
<p>Beth</p>
Staff
2012-01-26T23:49:00Z
Feminism and the War Against Boys
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Feminism-and-the-War-Against-Boys/-739627102327094802.html
2012-01-25T21:58:00Z
2012-01-25T21:58:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I heard your interview with Christina Hoff Sommers the author of the books on feminism issues and definitely agree with her. I appreciated the subject and immediately went online and ordered the books.</p>
<p>One of you during the interview mentioned the AAUW (American Association of University Women) and why they weren't doing any thing about the feminist issues. I think many of them are also members of NOW and they would not agree with the premise of the subject in the books. I can only speak for the three AAUW's of which I had been affiliated at one time in the past. All of the members have college degrees and tend to be on the liberal side of the fence - many are extreme left politically and would probably have something to say about forsaking all the work of the suffragettes. I don't think this would be the group to carry the banner.</p>
<p>One would think the YWCA would be more conservative but I was the director of a YWCA for a brief period and found this organization to be very liberal. One of their tenets is "to empower women" and some of their literature reads like a Dale Carnegie course for the feminist movement.</p>
<p>I am looking forward to reading "Who Stole Feminism" and "The War Against Boys" and again thank you for your program. I have been a listener for more than 20 years when you where on KFOX or KABC when I lived in Torrance, CA. 18 years ago I moved to South Dakota and had to install an XM radio to get your broadcast. I have all of your books and read most of them.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Lelia</p>
Staff
2012-01-25T21:58:00Z
Other Causes of Childhood Stress
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Other-Causes-of-Childhood-Stress/-853449425520342076.html
2012-01-25T21:55:00Z
2012-01-25T21:55:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Thank you for addressing the topic of childhood stress on your show recently.</p>
<p>Our daughter cried a lot and was also extremely stressed. Sometimes we could only hold her and caress her as she remained inconsolable. After several trips to specialists, it was recommended we medicate her for anxiety and ADHD.</p>
<p>Instead, we asked she be tested for neurobiological causes such as Celiac Sprue, Sleep Disorders, and Thyroid dysfunction. Fortunately, my husband is a Pediatric Neuropsychologist trained at UCLA and CHLA. He has learned many kids with such disorders have symptoms of anxiety and ADHD.</p>
<p>The results of testing indicated our daughter had Celiac Sprue. Within weeks of implementing treatment, her anxiety and ADHD symptoms subsided. She is now a happy and successful teen who has a passion for helping others.</p>
<p>Based on our personal experience, I sincerely wish families were more aware of the neurobiological causes of childhood stress.</p>
<p>Warmest regards,</p>
<p>Rose</p>
Staff
2012-01-25T21:55:00Z
Parental Participation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Parental-Participation/619568087869401781.html
2012-01-24T23:42:00Z
2012-01-24T23:42:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Following on the <a href="/b/Divorce-and-Remarriage-Affects-Kids/-362014450613551917.html" target="_blank">gentleman who coaches</a> (or coached) the T-ball team, I'd like to give you my experience managing a minor league team.</p>
<p>It was '69 and I was a high school senior. For some reason, I decided to get into Little League and I ended up with a team of kids 8-13 who were too young or not good enough for the regular league.</p>
<p>One day when coaching third base, a father in the stands complained about how we three high school kids were not doing a good job, etc. The whole nine yards. I slowly backed up until I got to the fence then turned and said, "Look - I called every father TWICE to come help us just one night a week. No one 'had time' to come out. So, we three high schoolers are doing the best we can do. We're not great, but we are trying and doing a pretty good job anyway. If you want to complain about how we're doing…" at this point I took off my cap, "…here's my cap. YOU come out and work with your kids rather than three strangers. Otherwise, I don't want to hear a word from ANY of you."</p>
<p>Never did from that time on.</p>
<p>The conversation was paraphrased but the basic idea is there. This was 1969. Doesn't seem like things have changed, does it?</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Bob</p>
Staff
2012-01-24T23:42:00Z
Young Women and Clothing
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Young-Women-and-Clothing/332941325202554058.html
2012-01-24T23:36:00Z
2012-01-24T23:36:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura</p>
<p>I love your program and listen everyday in the car. Recently, you had a guest on talking about the new definitions of rape. I agree with both of you. Young women of today have to take responsibility for themselves and their actions. I have 3 daughters ages 24, 22, and 17. I have always had this motto: when it comes to their bodies, if you don't respect your body no one else will. I never allowed my girls to have a gap between the shirt and the top of the pants; a camisole is not the only top - if they wore spaghetti strap shirts, I required another shirt over them; and the boobs and butt would never be coming out of any end of the clothing. Sure they wear all the latest styles, but they do it with style. I have made them change on many occasion and we have had our battles. They each have their own style and I respect that, but they have respect and dignity for themselves. I always told them provocative clothing will get you attention from the guys, but it is not the right attention and they may as well put a sign on themselves that says I AM EASY. I certainly do not have perfect girls, but they do respect their bodies and for that I am a proud mom.</p>
<p>Thank you for your bluntness and telling it like it is when it comes to the sexualization of girls.</p>
<p>Sincerely</p>
<p>Linda</p>
Staff
2012-01-24T23:36:00Z
What's the Problem with the Dating Rules of the 1950's?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Whats-the-Problem-with-the-Dating-Rules-of-the-1950s/-468161339238819396.html
2012-01-23T22:15:00Z
2012-01-23T22:15:00Z
<p>This is a response to an opinion article by Marianne Brennan on the Clare Booth Luce website regarding reviving the dating process. Marianne wrote: "Reviving the dating process doesn't mean regressing to the 1950's"...</p>
<p>Marianne, there was nothing wrong with the dating process in the 1950's. I know because I was there. My first point to make is that abstinence was much more prevalent in those days. When we hear that abstinence doesn't work, history shows us otherwise. The pill has changed the dynamic between the sexes in the 1970's. Most of the males in my generation wanted to prepare themselves for caring for a family. It was risky to be sexually involved because shotgun marriages put future plans in jeopardy. In those days, a man had to marry a woman in order to have sexual access. And most women danced to that tune too. Hormones often won the day so there were a number of out-of-wedlock births then but not nearly as many as there are today. We also have to consider the more than 45 million murders of the unborn since 1973 because of increased sexual activity. The number of STD's has grown considerably too as has depression amongst young women in the hook up culture. Sure, there were some abortions then of the back alley type, but nothing close to what The Supreme Court wrought with their wisdomless decision.</p>
<p>The main reason for dating in the 1950's was to choose the right woman to marry, not to sleep with or shack up with. Our attitude was to avoid sexual intercourse and to marry a virgin. There are still some rare males and females today who want to remain virgins until they are married. It was the rule in the 1950's. We had to buy the cow before we got the milk. My generation wanted to marry a woman who would be a good mother to our children, one who stayed home to raise them. Men had to be breadwinners to do that - that's what a real man did. My wife of 43 years stayed home until our kids were raised and went back to teaching when we had two in college.</p>
<p>I courted her when we were both in college. I had a few dates before meeting her and sex was never a part of the dating scene - it wasn't because the urge didn't exist. I always paid for dates and to do otherwise would be an affront to manliness. The metrosexual man today will sometimes expect his wife or live-in girlfriend to work and put their kids in day care - hurting the development of their kids. Many women will lose respect for a man who stays at home and cares for the kids while she works. So what you call regressive actually has a lot more wisdom attached to it than what the Pill has wrought. It is estimated that 39% of college women are on birth control pills today. That's a lot of sexual activity wherein a man doesn't have to court. Do you think this is progressive?</p>
<p>Men and women in this country would do well to emulate the dating scene of the 1950's.</p>
<p>Stan</p>
Staff
2012-01-23T22:15:00Z
Raising a Bunch of Wimps?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-a-Bunch-of-Wimps/867753462300142483.html
2012-01-23T22:12:00Z
2012-01-23T22:12:00Z
<p>I overheard this at a coffeeshop yesterday...<br /><br /><br />Woman #1: I'm so tired of playing the same games with my grandkids.<br /><br />Woman #2: Do you play Candyland? Chutes & Ladders?<br /><br />Woman #1: No, they're not allowed to play those games.<br /><br />Woman #2: Why?<br /><br />Woman #1: Because "it's too upsetting if they have to go backward and lose their spot." I swear, I'm so out of touch with this generation. All these 40 year-old college educated mothers are raising a bunch of wimps!</p>
<p>Couldn't help but laugh to myself.<br /><br />Paula</p>
Staff
2012-01-23T22:12:00Z
Highlighting Throughout
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Highlighting-Throughout/104006582182750360.html
2012-01-20T22:07:00Z
2012-01-20T22:07:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My boyfriend recently gave me your book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and I was pissed. I immediately flipped through it and ripped it apart, stating it didn't apply to me or us.</p>
<p>The next day I attempted to tell him (in what I thought was a rational manner) something he had done that had upset me and rather than let it fester I wanted to tell him and move on from it. He did not see my point of view on the situation. We argued - did not yell we never do - and I ended up in tears because he didn't want to try anymore and has given me many chances to change my ways. He thought maybe we weren't going to work and he needed time to himself. I was devastated.</p>
<p>I grudgingly picked up your book, and actually read it in one shot. I am a person who likes to highlight to re-read important things again after. Well, I found myself highlighting on every page. I feel like a horrible person for the way I have treated him. I can't wait for him to be off from work again (He works at a camp for 21 days then has 10 days off) so I can try to mend my disastrous ways. But I won't jump on him. I really hope he will be willing to give me one more chance to prove I love him with my being. But if he doesn't, I now know where I went wrong and won't take that road in future relationships.</p>
<p>Thank you.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>R.</p>
Staff
2012-01-20T22:07:00Z
Taking Advice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Taking-Advice/526317005704149497.html
2012-01-20T22:03:00Z
2012-01-20T22:03:00Z
<p>I've listen to you every day, for years, sometimes twice a day in case I missed something. I am made fun of by friends and family and it is a running joke when someone has a challenge, they look to me and say "Ask Dr. L."! I am teary- eyed as I write this as I don't think I ever realized how much you have inspired me.</p>
<p>I think of you daily when I feel challenged in my marriage or with the rearing of my children. I am easily overwhelmed and suffer from Crohn's Disease so listening to you has forced me to stop and think before I react.</p>
<p>But most importantly, up until about 5 years ago (I am now 49), I was what you would consider a "weak" person. As a pleaser, I would allow friends and family to intimidate me, take advantage of my lack of being able to say NO when I really wanted to and earn the reputation of the one to go to when needing a good listener. I seemed to be very good at giving advice but not very good at taking my own advice. I was also nicknamed "the enabler". You have given me the strength and courage to stand up for myself, defend myself and take my own advice. I no longer run from confrontation or allow myself to be taken advantage of. I feel so much more confident and strong and only wish I didn't wait so long to take YOUR advice.</p>
<p>I have read your books and give them as gifts, and every single day, when I watch my children leave the house or speak to my son in college on the phone, I tell them I love them and say "NOW...GO DO THE RIGHT THING"! And they have!!</p>
<p>L.</p>
Staff
2012-01-20T22:03:00Z
Bullies - How Did They Get So Bad?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bullies---How-Did-They-Get-So-Bad/821535561450853387.html
2012-01-19T23:31:00Z
2012-01-19T23:31:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura -</p>
<p>I saw your video blog, "Defending Against a Bully." The question that has been bothering me for a long time was, "How did it get so bad?" Then I began watching some of the comedy shows on TVLand vs. some of the things we call comedy today.</p>
<p>If you watch the old stuff, (Pre- 1970-ish) you see comedy is about the person. The joke is always on the person or about main character (Dick Van Dyke show, etc). By the mid-1970's (Michael J. Fox) comedy had changed to putting down someone else. Comedy was comprised of "Put-downs" and making fun of another person. It is still that way today. Just look at almost any comedy show on any network. It is comprised of putting down someone else. Even Betty White's show (Hot in Cleveland) - comedy is about making fun of someone else - or at least most of the time.</p>
<p>We have taught our children it is okay to do this - and call it humor or comedy. That it is okay to make fun of someone else, who is not laughing at themselves for something they just did.</p>
<p>It used to be we laughed with someone and not at them. But today it is acceptable & normal to "Laugh at someone, and very seldom laugh with them." THUS - Kids who would normally not be bullies - see it as a way of striking back at those who put them down. Or better yet, Striking at those who are just a little bit different than them. "I can't strike at the bully above me, so I will strike at those equal or below me."</p>
<p>Because of the comedy our kids think is acceptable today, bullies are made without even knowing it. And kids accepted being bullied, because it's the comedy they have been taught is okay to do to each other. Or don't even realize is bullying.</p>
<p>Change the way we do comedy and eventually you change how we talk to each other when we feel small.</p>
<p>Thanks -</p>
<p>Rev. William</p>
Staff
2012-01-19T23:31:00Z
Support and Wisdom
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Support-and-Wisdom/568202587587617632.html
2012-01-19T23:29:00Z
2012-01-19T23:29:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>You changed my life. Seventeen years ago you were the voice of sanity in a sea of naysayers (even my own sister!) when I wanted to leave my job and stay home with my infant son. I did it anyway and listened to you every afternoon just to get the affirmation from someone that I was doing the right thing. We were so broke we couldn't afford a thing beyond diapers and formula, but we did it and I don't regret a moment of it!</p>
<p>You were the voice of reason who helped me keep my marriage together when we lost track of our shared goals. Our kids were still young and my husband traveled a lot and we both were miserable! Your book "Proper Care and Feeing of Husbands" showed me the way to keep our family together and we are now happier than ever before. Married 23 years with two teenagers, we are doing great since Dad is home every night because we moved to another state so we could have family dinners and telling conversations every night!</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for sharing your wisdom. My life is better for it!</p>
<p>J.</p>
Staff
2012-01-19T23:29:00Z
The Story of The Frogs
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Story-of-The-Frogs/652663217442515047.html
2012-01-19T02:17:00Z
2012-01-19T02:17:00Z
<p>Just wanted to say thank you for your opening comments regarding new research suggests people are more creative when they have privacy and freedom from interruption. So, is teamwork obsolete? Not quite. But I thought the same about creativity a very long time ago, and want to share with your listeners the story of The Frogs.</p>
<p><br /><strong>The Frogs</strong></p>
<p>There once was a bunch of tiny frogs who arranged a climbing competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.</p>
<p>A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants. The race began. No one in the crowd really believed the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.</p>
<p>Heard throughout the race were statements such as, “Oh, way too difficult”, “They will never make it to the top”, “Not a chance they will succeed”, and “The tower is too high”.</p>
<p>The tiny frogs began collapsing, one by one - except for those who, in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher. The crowd continued to yell, “It is too difficult! No one will make it”!</p>
<p>More tiny frogs got tired and gave up. But one continued to climb higher and higher.</p>
<p>This one refused to give up!</p>
<p>At the end of the race, all had given up climbing the tower except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top!</p>
<p>All of the other tiny frogs wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it. They asked him how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal.</p>
<p>It turned out the winning frog was deaf!</p>
<p>A.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2012-01-19T02:17:00Z
Seeing Clearly...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Seeing-Clearly.../139330374097905549.html
2012-01-19T02:14:00Z
2012-01-19T02:14:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I love your message in your last video: Defending Against a Bully.</p>
<p>As I teach my 10 year old daughter (who is now a purple belt in Tae Kwon Do and she struggles with her hatred of injustice and indecency she sees schools expect kids to stomach) <em>"you have two sets of separate rules to follow: rules of your home and rules of the school. Generally, both are very much in agreement, but not everything - particularly how to handle a bully. When the rules of your home and the rules of the school collide, rules of the home prevail, and I'll deal with those consequences. You may even experience an event where the school calls what you did wrong and but at home you're rewarded. It is only confusing to you now because you're a child, but as you grow up, you'll see more clearly."</em></p>
<p>Well, she actually sees clearly already.</p>
<p>Thanks for doing what you do!</p>
<p>Jeff</p>
Staff
2012-01-19T02:14:00Z
My Husband Shaves His _______
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Husband-Shaves-His-_______/-118333293647504508.html
2012-01-17T23:34:00Z
2012-01-17T23:34:00Z
<p>I'm devoted to my marriage and still learning to love my husband (unconditionally) and get all my expectations in their rightful order.</p>
<p>This is my humorous love story... My Husband Shaves His _______</p>
<p><br />legs. It's the truth.</p>
<p>Now tell me, what great big hunk of a man shaves his legs? Isn't hair included in the sexy things you admire about your man?</p>
<p>OK, he's a cyclist, but it took me a while to get used to the idea.</p>
<p>"You know, I think I might start shaving my legs. It's something a lot of guys are doing these days-especially in Europe."</p>
<p>"If you shave your legs, it's the last straw. I mean it. I'm outa here." I said it with a straight face, and I meant every word. (The little voice in my head threatened: I will not be married to a man who shaves his legs. End of story.)</p>
<p>He got up from the table and went about his business. Think about this scenario here. Know what he did? Immediately - that very minute?</p>
<p>Don't tell a guy not to do something. Don't threaten his manhood. Think before you speak. Don't say things you may regret. Smile while you are speaking (and maybe add a wink). Ask questions if necessary. Consider compromise, trade, and barter. And utmost, pray without ceasing.</p>
<p>He showed me his tanned and beautifully shaved legs. (Sigh, another obstacle to overcome.) I needed to sit down.</p>
<p>"You gonna leave me now?" He leaned toward the door.</p>
<p>No comment, yet.</p>
<p>"Cyclists shave for a reason. If they get in a crash it's a lot easier to clean the cuts, you know. Take the Tour de France, show me a guy who doesn't shave his legs! Besides, there are a lot of men who shave, and not just their legs. Think Arnold Swartzenegger. And remember Sawyer from the Lost series? In one episode he had this big burly beard and not one hair on his chest." These were things I had not considered before.</p>
<p>"You already look like Nick Nolte, you have biceps bigger than Arnold's, and you own more wheels than Lance Armstrong. You gotta have hairless legs too?"</p>
<p>I didn't leave him, at least not then - over shaved legs.</p>
<p>I noticed the legs on all men from that time on. In the grocery store. Pumping gas. At the lake or in the park. On bikes as I swerved by. Without a fuss, I encouraged him to wear long jeans, not shorts. And though he was one of very few in our town, I had to admit, he had very nice legs - and pecs.</p>
<p>His chest hairs were bothersome. Popcorn and pretzel crumbs always nestled there, and they were too long, giving a hairy mottled appearance beneath his tank tops. Oh, and the belly hairs did the same thing. Off with their heads!</p>
<p>Ho hum. Time passed. Years really. And though I never got used to it, I decided to ignore it, and still didn't like being married to a man-who-shaves-his-legs. The one day after I returned home to him (the time I really did leave him for more practical reasons) he decided to let the hair grow and maybe just trim it occasionally.</p>
<p>I didn't have to ask, or anything.</p>
<p>Kathy</p>
Staff
2012-01-17T23:34:00Z
State of Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/State-of-Marriage/-801860636004327190.html
2012-01-17T23:33:00Z
2012-01-17T23:33:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I came across this quote upon discussion with a friend about our generation's frivolous views of marriage:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>Originally marriage meant the sale of a woman by one man to another; now most women sell themselves though they have no intention of delivering the goods listed in the bill of sale.</em> - Robert Graves (1895 - 1985)</p>
<p>Thank you for your guidance in my marriage and thousands of others.</p>
<p>Brittany</p>
Staff
2012-01-17T23:33:00Z
Poem about Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Poem-about-Life/85962268888294434.html
2012-01-16T23:34:00Z
2012-01-16T23:34:00Z
<p><em>"There comes a point in your life when you realize: </em><br /><em>Who matters, </em><br /><em>Who never did, </em><br /><em>Who won't anymore, </em><br /><em>And who always will. </em><br /><em>So, don't worry about people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future."</em> <br /> ¯ Adam Lindsay Gordon</p>
Staff
2012-01-16T23:34:00Z
Getting Up in the Middle of the Night
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Getting-Up-in-the-Middle-of-the-Night/-163008828099475470.html
2012-01-16T23:31:00Z
2012-01-16T23:31:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I just read your daily newsletter in which there was an <a href="/b/Leaving-Your-Child-to-Return-to-Work---A-How-to-Guide/-827063083702904911.html">email</a> about how to leave your child in order to return to work. It reminded me of something I saw just a couple of days ago.</p>
<p>After a long night of getting up with my daughter who was not feeling well, I sat down to nurse my son and flipped on the TV - something I almost never do. The Anderson Cooper show was on with a debate between stay-at-home and working mothers. I could only stand to watch a few minutes, but here's what I saw:</p>
<p>The supposedly "neutral" program began with a report on a study finding working mothers are "happier and healthier" than stay-at-home mothers. The source of the study was not given, nor was there any information about the funding for the study or any political or social agenda that might have informed it. The stay-at-home mothers were clearly on the defensive from the beginning. The working moms got the first say. The first two promptly characterized stay-at-home mothers as lazy. One working mom's argument was "a happy mommy makes a happy baby." The stay-at-home mothers were too polite to call the working mothers selfish.</p>
<p>I found myself so upset by the show I turned it off and spent the remaining minutes of rest just being grateful my for wonderful husband who makes it possible for me rear and homeschool my children.<br /> <br />You are one of the few voices out there standing up for stay-at-home mothers. Thank you and, please, keep up the fight.</p>
<p>Nancy</p>
Staff
2012-01-16T23:31:00Z
'That's Not What I Meant..."
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thats-Not-What-I-Meant.../997155950343809234.html
2012-01-13T22:20:00Z
2012-01-13T22:20:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura asked on her <a href="http://www.facebook.com/drlaura" target="_blank">Facebook page</a>: What’s the funniest thing that ever happened to you where someone of the opposite gender completely misunderstood your intent?<br /><br />Here are some responses:<br /><br /><strong>Amy:</strong> I was at an Irish Pub a few weeks ago on leave from Afghanistan. I sat waiting for my friend by myself. A nice guy in his 40s came and sat next to me. We began to talk and he said, "I HAVE to introduce you to my sister... you are AWESOME!" I said, "cool, is she a rad chick too?" The guy says, "Yeah, and she just broke up with her girlfriend!" I'm not a lesbian...</p>
<p><strong>Jo:</strong> My husband had recently installed kitchen cabinet handles for me - a big deal . A few days later we had a 'team baseball party' for our son. His coach (my hubby's friend) attended... I innocently and gleefully said "Hey John, do you want to see my new knobs?" I have never lived it down.... lol</p>
<p><strong>Melanie:</strong> My husband is a towboat pilot and is away for a month at a time. I do all the yard work and was mowing one day when a car came into the driveway and stopped. A gentleman stepped out so I drove my lawnmower up next to his vehicle to see what he needed. He introduced himself and said he lived down the highway and told me a lot of his friends were getting together for a crawfish boil and would like for me to go as his date. I told him I was sorry I couldn't go since I was married. He felt soooo stupid...his face turned red and said he was so sorry, over and over again. Oh and by the way, when my husband WAS home...he did start spending a little more time outside...LOL</p>
<p><strong>Mandy:</strong> I'm a dental hygienist which means I wear scrubs and have my hair pulled back every day while at work. One day I was off for the day, but had to stop by my office for a minute and our dentist walked right up to the counter and stood by me for a second before realizing who I was. He then told me "Wow, I'm so sorry, I didn't recognize you with clothes on"!!! As soon as the words rolled off his tongue his face turned beet red and he started apologizing! We all got a good laugh out of it and he still shakes his head and turns red when we mention it!!</p>
<p><strong>Cheryl:</strong> I do this kind of stuff ALL the time. One of the best and most memorable...My husband and I were getting ready to leave and I still needed to dry and style my hair. He was a little irritated I was running behind schedule. I assured him it wouldn't be a big deal because I had a new way of doing my hair. A few minutes later I walked out of the bathroom and said, "Look, honey, a five minute blow job". Whoops!</p>
<p><strong>Fran:</strong> My husband was very proud of the very tall flagpole we had installed in our front yard. When a friend looked up, I could tell he was trying to calculate its height and I said: It's 35 feet. He told me he thought it was bigger. I retorted: "Isn't it like a man to look at something and assume it's bigger than it really is?"</p>
<p><strong>Fonda: </strong>This isn't funny, but I once had a male friend at work that was going thru a divorce. I wasn't any nicer to him than I normally had been, but for some reason, he thought maybe we could hook up. I didn't have a clue until we were scheduled to ride together to a class/meeting that was an hour away from our work place. He had the whole day planned out for us..he dressed up, chose his favorite CDs for us to listen to, flirting heavily w/me during the ride, was practically all over me during the class, begged me several times DURING class to skip it...needless to say, I was already creeped out by the whole CD thing at the very beginning and everything that led up to our time together in class. He made me very uncomfortable. I was so glad that day was over. I really could have had a sexual harrassment case against him, especially because he was in a managerial position. I'm just not that way though. He just lost my friendship after that incident. I feel nauseaus when I think about it now....talk about a misunderstanding!!!! It made me think twice about how I acted around men after that.</p>
<p><strong>Laurette:</strong> I used to work for a golf company. We would make personalized golf clubs. I had just taken an order for a club, but I forgot to ask what flex he wanted. I called him back and his wife answered, without thinking I told her I forgot to ask him if he wanted a regular or stiff shaft. She laughed and told me he always likes it stiff, but for his golf club it should be a regular. (Sorry Dr. Laura there is no easy way to talk about Golf equipment without getting a double entendre.) Shafts, Grips, Balls, Heads.</p>
<p><strong>Leslie:</strong> Recently I went on a trip with my mom, 2 sisters and my two little girls. We had copious amounts of luggage and getting from the hotel to the airport was a real challenge. I kept thinking I wish there was a man with us to offset the large bag to person ratio we had. After checking bags and car seats we made it to the terminal. When a man asked if he could help I said "We've got it now but man, I'd like to take you back to the hotel". I was mortified and tried to explain what I meant but just kept making things worse. Eventually my Mom had to rescue me and explain what I was really trying to say. Oops<br /><br />Read other responses or post your own at <a href="http://www.facebook.com/drlaura" target="_blank">Facebook.com/DrLaura</a></p>
Staff
2012-01-13T22:20:00Z
Relatives and Inheritance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Relatives-and-Inheritance/584264431884952819.html
2012-01-13T22:19:00Z
2012-01-13T22:19:00Z
<p>Many years ago, when I was around 8 or 9 years of age, my mom took in my 'aunt' (much further relation then that) in her last years of life. She was a lovely old lady whom I liked very much.</p>
<p>At one point in life, Auntie had had a considerable amount of money. By the time she passed, after all the medical bills had been paid, there were only a few thousand - I don't remember exactly how much.</p>
<p>To set the stage, my mom worked as a registered nurse. She made a comfortable income, but not outstanding. The other "relatives" easily made 10 times what my mom did. They lived in areas like Great Neck, etc. We lived in a more modest area. <br />During Auntie's last months, out of all these "relatives", not one came to visit, save one 'uncle', and that was only once and very brief.</p>
<p>After Auntie passed, all these... "people" brought a lawsuit claiming Mom had abused and beaten Auntie, and Auntie had actually intended the money for them, so on and so forth. Total, complete and utter nonsense. Thank God, for once, for a judge's discretion to toss cases out of court. This was so obvious, and he did so without even listening to one word from these greedy bastards.</p>
<p>I never saw any of them again, ever. We never heard one word out of them, not a card, note, nothing, for which I'm eternally grateful.</p>
<p>I admit, this totally jaded me on 'family'. I see where it works, where it is strong, supportive, but I have seen too much of the dysfunctional side (sadly, including my own mother to a degree) that rules affairs.</p>
<p>I am a total cynic, crossed with pessimism. I cannot understand why people go after other people simply because they wear the title 'family'.</p>
<p>E</p>
Staff
2012-01-13T22:19:00Z
Sometimes the Mistakes of Your Youth Cannot be Undone
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sometimes-the-Mistakes-of-Your-Youth-Cannot-be-Undone/84339457183672603.html
2012-01-12T23:10:00Z
2012-01-12T23:10:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>I have been an avid listener for years, and it has helped me survive a lot in my life. I wish I had listened in my youth. My lesson is for young people. I had struggled to put myself through college for 7 years, and had a bad family situation where I did not speak to either parent because my dad had left my mom for a younger woman and my mom was an alcoholic to cope with the devastation. After years of struggling, I met a dynamic man who seemed to rule the world and decided I was tired of struggling, so I married him - never completing college.</p>
<p>He turned out to be abusive to me and our children, and after trying to make it work for years, I took the kids and left early one morning with just the clothes on our backs. I have struggled every day since, and lost everything we built trying to keep my kids safe from him. I did my best to teach the kids to make a better life for themselves and teach them morals, through example.</p>
<p>My daughter thrived in high school and even dated a wonderful boy. However, when she went to college, everything came crashing down, and she dated a boy much like her father. She is now leaving college, not seeing she is repeating my mistakes. Even though we were terribly close, she blames me now for her childhood.</p>
<p>Not only did I ruin my life, but her life will be ruined and I will not be able to be a part of a happy family as a grandparent. My main points to your readers are: sometimes you can never undo your mistakes of the past, and never start your own family to escape your childhood. You not only ruin your life, but your family for generations.</p>
<p>N</p>
Staff
2012-01-12T23:10:00Z
Maintenance
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Maintenance/-448734773003720988.html
2012-01-12T23:08:00Z
2012-01-12T23:08:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am where I am now because of you and a dear friend along the way of 11 years. I found myself slipping lately due to the economy and my career. So, I thrust my head into my books hunting for <em>Bad Childhood - Good Life</em>. My thirst to find it was almost comical. With an enormous deep sigh, I sank into my comfort chair and reread this book. I felt the strength wrap me in glory again. When I reread the book, it was so comforting to see the growth and the pride I have in my wonderful quality of life. Demons do tread and they don't tread lightly.</p>
<p>Why did I find myself hunting for strength? I was finding myself short in answers, impatient and flustered. My son said, "Mom, did you take your Thyroid pill today?" I just needed to get my power back.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>P.</p>
Staff
2012-01-12T23:08:00Z
Leaving Your Child to Return to Work - A How-to Guide
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Leaving-Your-Child-to-Return-to-Work---A-How-to-Guide/-827063083702904911.html
2012-01-11T22:15:00Z
2012-01-11T22:15:00Z
<p>The following malarkey was taken from a work-distributed newsletter:</p>
<p><em>The Toughest Transition: Leaving Your Child to Return to Work</em><br />Your parental leave is drawing to a close. As you get ready to trade your infant's coos for the steady hum of the workplace, you'll probably notice lots of questions, fears and emotions starting to surface. You can make your transition from home to work much easier if you consider the changes that lie ahead.</p>
<p><em>Be Prepared for Strong Feelings</em><br />Before you pack your briefcase and prepare your work wardrobe, ready yourself for the emotional impact of leaving your baby. Most parents experience doubt, guilt and grief as they re-enter the workplace. Admit these feelings to yourself and talk the m over with your spouse. Seek out people who understand you and your situation, such as other parents and family members.</p>
<p><em>Understand the Psychology of Separation</em><br />Separation is easier for babies younger than 6 months. That's the age an infant becomes more firmly attached to the parents and will protest being left with anyone else. Your child will protest when you leave this is necessary and healthy. But it's also important that she develop a strong, caring relationship with a trusted caregiver. Children in day care may develop less intense emotional reactions. When you come into view, your baby may turn away, as if to gather her emotions. These intense reactions are necessary precursors to a passionate reunion with you.</p>
<p><em>Shift Gears Gradually</em><br />If you've hired an in-home caregiver, arrange for the person to spend time with you and your baby before you return to work. Begin with one or two hours during which you demonstrate your method of feeding, diapering a nd putting your baby to sleep. Next, have the caregiver come for half a day while you leave the house for part of that time. When you finally do return to work, try to ease yourself back into a schedule by working half-days or at home part of the day. If you've chosen a day care center, spend time with your infant at the location, getting to know the people and routines.</p>
<p><em>Adjustment Happens Over Time</em><br />A few other ideas can make leaving easier. It helps to remember that in the hands of a trusted, competent child care provider, your child may have positive experiences with other children she might not have had staying home alone with you. Also, as a working parent, you're helping your child learn to adapt to change and develop the confidence she can overcome her fears and frustrations.</p>
<p>What a bunch of fallacies,</p>
<p>Arturo</p>
Staff
2012-01-11T22:15:00Z
Shutting Off the Power
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Shutting-Off-the-Power/-862666287050855393.html
2012-01-10T21:34:00Z
2012-01-10T21:34:00Z
<p><br />Recently we visited our son in New York and met his fiancée and her 3 children. They have since married. While we were there, an earthquake occurred (the one in Virginia by Wash. DC) and then Hurricane Irene came ashore. Their power was knocked out during the hurricane. With no power, there was no internet, no electronic games and no television. What to do? Well, we spent the whole evening and most of the next day before we left just sitting around and visiting. We truly got to know our new grandkids and daughter in law. We also reconnected with our son who we had not seen for several years. It was fantastic! I told my son he ought to go shut the power off every once in a while just so they could sit around and talk. Hope he does it!</p>
<p>Thank for all the excellent advice and insight Dr. Laura.</p>
<p>Frank</p>
Staff
2012-01-10T21:34:00Z
Exercise and The New Year
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Exercise-and-The-New-Year/-870224648724379551.html
2012-01-10T21:31:00Z
2012-01-10T21:31:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am 42. I am 5'1" tall and weigh about 165. I have weighed this all my life, on average. My lowest weight was 125 pounds 21 years ago just before my wedding. I think my highest was about 192 back in 2006, a couple of years after I quit my job to stay at home with my son.</p>
<p>Our 10-year-old family dog died on November 2nd 2011. I had just begun taking walks with her for about 1/2 hour a day at least 3-4 times a week. After her death, I knew I had to get out and walk again, although it was rather difficult to do without her. On my first walk, about a week after her passing, I imagined her trotting by my side. I "took her with me" on my walk instead of trying to get over the pain of her absence.</p>
<p>However, now I am on a mission. I have taken walking more seriously in honor of our dog as well as in an effort to get fit. I have extended my walks to right around an hour, give or take 5 minutes. I now walk close to 3 miles in that hour and I do it almost every single day. Since I've started this, I have found it's much easier to climb the basement steps with a load of laundry. If I don't get my walk in, I get irritable. It's been a blessing this year as we didn't get any measurable snowfall in December, so I was able to make the most of the good weather. It's such a sin to let a sunny day go by without greeting it with a walk. I take you with me on my mp3 player which also has an FM radio receiver so I get music as well. When I started out, I weighed 171 pounds. By Thanksgiving, I was down to 165. I think I have done pretty well over Christmas... I only ate a little more chocolate. </p>
<p>Anyway, I just wanted to share with you I am going to make 2012 that kind of year everyone talks about but few rarely follow through on. Thanks for making each day more interesting!</p>
<p>Lisa</p>
Staff
2012-01-10T21:31:00Z
Bad Childhood, Great Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Bad-Childhood,-Great-Life/476085745408176506.html
2012-01-09T23:41:00Z
2012-01-09T23:41:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I read your book "Bad Childhood Good Life", and wanted to tell you how much it has helped me.</p>
<p>I am a product of an affair my mother had on her first husband. I have 12 half brothers and sisters, but only grew up knowing 3 of them (the three from her first marriage). My mother divorced and remarried my step father when I was 4. She shipped my 2 sisters and brother away to live with their bio dad and sent me away to boarding school for a couple years so they could travel. My step father was very verbally abusive and eventually sexually abusive. My mother, never having a job, did nothing to protect me and allowed it to continue for her own financial reasons, I guess.</p>
<p>I moved out at 17 and had some very bad relationships before meeting my now husband of 17 years. I am very blessed to have been given a wonderful, honest man who has given us 3 beautiful children.</p>
<p>My step father has had many affairs on my mother and recently had another (he is 77 years old). She continues to do nothing about it. I have recently cut him out of my life and my mother can't understand why I won't allow my kids, daughters 10, 12 and son 14, to be around him. She goes behind my back and tells them he loves them and would never do anything to hurt them. She didn't protect her own child from him why would my kids be any different? When I remind her of the things he did to me she tells me I'm lying and doesn't remember. She believes he was a good addition to the family. My siblings say I need to move on to keep peace in the family.</p>
<p>After reading your book I know now I do not have to be around toxic people and my # 1 priority is my husband and kids. I have stopped the cycle of abuse and will no longer accept abusive behavior from my "family". I am much happier surrounding myself with loving, healthy people/relationships. I can't thank you enough Dr. Laura for your advice and helping me and others stick to our morals. Keep up the great work!</p>
<p>L</p>
Staff
2012-01-09T23:41:00Z
I Learned About Men from Dr. Laura and Geishas
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Learned-About-Men-from-Dr.-Laura-and-Geishas/-273654584158220651.html
2012-01-09T23:37:00Z
2012-01-09T23:37:00Z
<p>When I was a young single adult I read a book about geishas. I wondered why a man would pay so much money for one evening. The highly paid geishas in the book were interesting conversationalists and playful in whatever room they were in. I decided to be like that for my husband when I was married.</p>
<p>I learned from you how men think in general. You said do not expect my husband to be my girlfriend and listen to me vent about the same subject over and over. I learned from you to strategically vent when I want him to fix my problem. He likes to fix problems. I also learned from you that I don't have to look like a model for my husband to "enjoy my company" so to speak.</p>
<p>So, between your advice to choose wisely/treat kindly and a few ideas from the world of geishas like keeping abreast of sports news for good conversation, our new empty nest status is fun and interesting for us both.</p>
<p>S.</p>
Staff
2012-01-09T23:37:00Z
Why Men Cheat is Also Why Men Marry
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Men-Cheat-is-Also-Why-Men-Marry/-979034106967036531.html
2012-01-06T22:19:00Z
2012-01-06T22:19:00Z
<p>The author of that book regarding why men cheat ought to know it cannot work the way he suggests, if only for the simple reason of disease. There was a lot of discussion of "emotional intimacy". I have no idea what that is.</p>
<p>Honesty and transparency…I know what these are. Sometimes my wife gets her feelings hurt because I am too honest and transparent. She sometimes wants for us to just sit and talk, but when I agree, she has nothing to say. When she asks me what's on my mind and I tell her honestly, she doesn't like it. Mostly she just wants complements. Lots of them. Even when they do not apply. Basically, she encourages me to lie to her when it is favorable. It's a little game she likes to play with me. But I don't like those kinds of games. It feels more like I am feeding her delusions than playing a friendly little game.</p>
<p>So why do men cheat? Here's my answer: Because it is the ONLY way they feel they can ever get something they think they need. 'Simple as that. They don't like running the risk of separation, divorce, loss of their children, etc. But there is no other choice other than to just live without. They have given up all hope in their marriage. What is it they feel they need? Again, simple: A woman who will thrill them sexually and interest them intellectually. That is honestly the only reason most guys ever get married. Then in too many cases either they never get, or they can no longer get, the only thing they really needed from a wife in the first place. Before I got married I thought that would be a pretty simple thing for a wife to do. I still do. I just keep wondering why so many wives refuse to do that for their husbands.</p>
<p>S.</p>
Staff
2012-01-06T22:19:00Z
Try to Remember the Kind of 'December'...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Try-to-Remember-the-Kind-of-December.../-147541007512636458.html
2012-01-06T22:14:00Z
2012-01-06T22:14:00Z
<p>I'm a hospice volunteer and I paid my weekly visit to my 101 year old patient last Friday. Her son was visiting from the east coast with his wife and we were soon joined by his wife's son, wife and 3 year old little girl. My patient is bedridden, her whole life is what she can see and experience from her bed. Her face was a picture as she took in the four generations of family. Smiles transformed that old face. Those are the moments I treasure from my visits with her and this special time was the most heartwarming of my Christmas season.</p>
<p>D.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>We adopted a family for Christmas, took them dinner and purchased a few gifts. We knew the mom wanted a mixer, but I was amazed at how happy she was to receive a little hand mixer! The joy on her face was Christmas at its best!</p>
<p>C.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>With my 26 year old identical twin boys both home for a few days this Christmas, I was overwhelmed with emotion while going to bed one night as I locked the doors, closed the blinds, turned off the lights and realized my boys were safe and sound in their beds with their mom and dad just down the hall. A feeling of security I haven't felt in years. I will cherish that feeling for the rest of my life. Oh to have them 6 years old instead of 26. Where did the time go?</p>
<p>L.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>This year my daughter unfortunately had to have her tonsils out over the holidays, but it really turned out to be a blessing. My husband and I were able to say no to many of the usual commitments we have over the holidays because our daughter had to stay home. Of course, she really did need her rest, but it was great to have a reason to stay home and just be with our own little family. My favorite day this year was New Year's Day. We had declined going to another family gathering and instead we stayed home in our pajamas all day and played board games and watched movies. The kids really enjoyed the attention they got and I enjoyed just having fun with them.</p>
<p>By the way, thanks so much Dr. Laura, for reminding me how important my husband and kids are and how they deserve my time and love and effort each day.</p>
<p>J.</p>
Staff
2012-01-06T22:14:00Z
The Value of a Dollar
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Value-of-a-Dollar/476529488228143739.html
2012-01-05T20:15:00Z
2012-01-05T20:15:00Z
<p>The majority of Moms do NOT need to work. It depends where their priorities are and how much they are willing to sacrifice. My sister and her husband live 45+ miles from any major town and raised 4 children. He works, she does not.</p>
<p>They have paid cash for every suburban with 4wheel drive they have ever purchased. All four children went to gymnastics for several years. How did they do it? I swear my sister can make every dollar turn into a $1.25. When you go to their home you are greeted with meals cooked from scratch, drink out of 8 oz yogurt plastic containers for cups, eat off simple mismatched dishes. Ziplock bags are washed out and reused and much more of this nature. She bought clothes when needed, mended lots of clothes and did not wear the latest fashions. I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. We were all raised to appreciate the value of the dollar and have 'gone green' most of our lives.</p>
<p>Our folks taught us the value of family. Once I asked my Mom why she didn't go to PTA meetings and volunteer. Her response paraphrased was "If I did that then I would have to get someone else to take care of you all the time - Best just to take care of my own and do these things when you are up an out." She was right… we need to take care of our own first.<br /><br />Jackie</p>
Staff
2012-01-05T20:15:00Z
Childhood Obesity
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Childhood-Obesity/-856791797037753241.html
2012-01-05T20:10:00Z
2012-01-05T20:10:00Z
<p>My nephew who is 12 years old has been heavy most of his life. He loves the computer and all those hand-held games and surprisingly enough is a couch potato. He is in the 6th grade. I am thankful to a teacher who saw something in him and cared enough for him that she talked him into playing football. The child never had any interest in sports at all, but her conversation with him, he tried out for the team and made varsity. After playing the sport for the whole season he lost 61 pounds! He is able to get lower in his position and most important he walks now with is head held high. His self esteem improved 100%. I have told him the school should use him as an example to his fellow classmates that if you get off the couch and move you can improve your self imagine. I am so very proud of him!!</p>
<p>P.</p>
Staff
2012-01-05T20:10:00Z
Drummers, Pipers, Ladies - Fun. But Swans and Geese?
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Drummers,-Pipers,-Ladies---Fun.--But-Swans-and-Geese/820774817627644397.html
2012-01-04T19:30:00Z
2012-01-04T19:30:00Z
<p>My 98 yr. old mother LOVES to sing, and even remembers songs she learned as a child in 4-H. A friend told me about a tradition her family has and I thought it'd be a fun thing to add to our family's Christmas Eve gathering.</p>
<p>Each item from "The 12 Days of Christmas" was written on a piece of paper (with enough blank ones so each of the 28 kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids present) could draw one out of the bowl. I reserved the "and a partridge in a pear tree" for Mom so the focus would always be drawn back to her.</p>
<p>Now there are some fuddy-duddies in my family who did NOT want to participate, and they were very reluctant to draw a piece of paper, but eventually did, some being so very relieved they drew a blank one.</p>
<p>Then we started the song with everyone singing the intro each time... "On the __ Day of Christmas my true love gave to me"... then the one with the appropriate day sang their part. Because Mom has dementia, I coaxed her to sing her part, but then she chimed right in.</p>
<p>On the last time through, each one had to act out their specific object. It was an absolute riot, especially when the more bashful or reluctant ones did their little act. Everyone, young and old alike, even the fuddy-duddies, got into the spirit and had a delightful time, laughing at and with each other, especially at the looks on their faces as they sang and were trying to remember when they were supposed to come in on their part and watching Granny sing her part. What a hoot and one of the most memorable Christmas gatherings we've ever had!</p>
<p>Donna</p>
Staff
2012-01-04T19:30:00Z
Hanukkah Lights
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hanukkah-Lights/-990309566133296160.html
2012-01-04T19:00:00Z
2012-01-04T19:00:00Z
<p>Last year was a really rough year in a long line of rough years for my family. My best friend and sister died four years ago, my husband lost his job AND decided he did not want to be my husband anymore, we lost our home my children lived in all of their lives and moved to a new town and to top everything off, we had to put down our beloved dog, Mollie, in November. Believe it or not there is more I could say but it already sounds like a bad country western song. We have toughed it out, hung together through the bad moments and worked hard to come through it as unscathed as possible.</p>
<p>My best holiday moment occurred on Christmas morning, although we actually celebrate Hanukkah. Being in the circumstances I was in, I was not able to buy the gifts we usually buy for the eight nights and barely able to cook any of the special foods we usually eat, but I was able to make our traditional breakfast casserole and homemade donuts that morning. I was feeling pretty low and trying not to show it. As we all sat down to eat and the kids opened a few gifts they got for each other, I started to feel good: the breakfast, camaraderie and love just sort of seeped in. My kids must have somehow felt it too as all agreed it was the best holiday yet without the glitz and glamour of former holidays. The Hanukkah lights had extra special meaning this year.</p>
<p>Here's to a better year to come!</p>
<p>K.</p>
Staff
2012-01-04T19:00:00Z
Best Holiday Moment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Best-Holiday-Moment/164521234403306776.html
2012-01-03T20:15:00Z
2012-01-03T20:15:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br /> <br />My husband and I have 6 grown children and 14 grandchildren, spread across the country. For the second time, we celebrated Christmas Day with just the two of us.</p>
<p>We woke up early and attended church together. Back at home, my husband made breakfast and we exchanged our gifts, which we agreed would be modest ones this year.</p>
<p>The best moments came in the afternoon of Christmas day, when we spent the full afternoon calling and Skyping each of our children, grandchildren, siblings, and parents. The realization we are blessed with so many in our circle with whom to share a holiday greeting was wonderful. The physical distance between us didn't matter as we talked with family from California to Vermont and points in between - we count our blessings and gladly make the effort to let each one know they brought special joys to the holiday and to our past year.</p>
<p>Happy 2012 to you, and thank you for all you do!</p>
<p>Lynn</p>
Staff
2012-01-03T20:15:00Z
Treasured Moment
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Treasured-Moment/436651179215833445.html
2012-01-03T20:00:00Z
2012-01-03T20:00:00Z
<p>Responding to your question, "What moment from this year's holiday gatherings do you treasure?"</p>
<p>My husband's sister passed away this past July after a long battle with cancer. We drove 17 hours to be with her husband and 3 boys for Christmas. The moment I treasure was when we all sat around the Christmas dinner table, my husband's parents included, and we expressed our appreciation for who Lynette was in our lives, how much we miss her and how thankful we are for her that she spent Jesus' birthday with Jesus Himself.</p>
<p>L.</p>
Staff
2012-01-03T20:00:00Z
My Pug Listens
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Pug-Listens/-891675595644607416.html
2011-12-22T21:10:00Z
2011-12-22T21:10:00Z
<p>I was listening to the podcast of your show the other day while my pug was sitting next to me on the sofa. You did one of your "screams," and my sleeping pug immediately sat up, looked over at my laptop, and tilted his head from side to side trying to figure out what that noise was.</p>
<p>So, if you ever have trouble getting your dogs' attention (which I'm sure is never an issue since they are so well-trained), you should know your on-air screams can bring a dog to immediate attention (even if it doesn't always work on the humans).</p>
<p>Thanks for the wonderful program and all you do to protect the interests of children.</p>
<p>K.</p>
Staff
2011-12-22T21:10:00Z
Jiminy Cricket Voice
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Jiminy-Cricket-Voice/719890049297617874.html
2011-12-22T21:00:00Z
2011-12-22T21:00:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Hearing your show daily for ten years gave me the conscience to:</p>
<p>1. be a stay at home mom, <br />2. stay married and "Do the Right Thing"<br />3. just generally be less selfish and more concerned with others.<br />4. work when my husband could be home with the children</p>
<p>My and my husband's two girls are well adjusted and doing well in school. I credit much of this to your "Jiminy Cricket" voice that encourages America to return to Godly values.</p>
<p>Thank you.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>N.</p>
Staff
2011-12-22T21:00:00Z
Favorite Family Christmas Stories
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Favorite-Family-Christmas-Stories/59540406483129002.html
2011-12-21T17:36:00Z
2011-12-21T17:36:00Z
<p>Recently, Dr. Laura posted on <a href="http://www.Facebook.com/DrLaura" target="_blank">Facebook.com/DrLaura</a>; During holiday gatherings, family members often share stories. What's YOUR favorite family story?</p>
<p>Here are just a few responses:</p>
<p><strong>Sara:</strong> My favorite is when my daughter was 4. That year (2 years ago actually) on Christmas morning she gave me a hug and in front of my family and PARENTS she said, "Mommy, I love your nipples."</p>
<p><strong>Lauren:</strong> My husband and I are foster parents, and one year three beautiful girls moved in with us just a few days before Christmas. When they moved in they received a small bag of school supplies and clothes from the department. We shopped in a hurry and made sure they had gifts for Christmas, but we didn't really think about getting gifts for them to give. The day before Christmas all three girls were hiding in rooms wrapping all of the items they had in their bag to give to each other and to my husband and I. I will never forget little Kyla gave my husband all of her pencils. She could have just given one, or several and saved some for herself... but she gave them all. It was a beautiful Christmas.</p>
<p><strong>Paula:</strong> I am an only child and my parents were divorced so our Christmas holidays were pretty small. I'm married now (no children) so I really appreciate celebrating the holidays with my husband's family which consisted of 5 brothers, their wives, our nieces and nephews and his sweet parents.</p>
<p><strong>Robin:</strong> My favorite was the year I spent it in Hawaii with the mother of my children, my daughter was 6 and my son was 2. When my wife and I were shopping for presents at the mall near the hotel, we heard a happy scream and turned around to see our son running through the mall in his nighttime diaper yelling "daddy... mommy!" The whole mall stopped in their tracks... priceless!<br /> <br /><strong>Janice:</strong> When my brother and I were children, 45+ years ago, we were decorating the tree. Mom couldn't get one of the lights on the string to work and was getting quite frustrated. My brother laughingly picked up a knife, said, "Here, try this." Much to our surprise and horror, Mom said, "Ok" and eagerly reached for the knife. Ben and I both jumped to our feet, yelling "NO!" That was the year we ALMOST electrocuted Mom.<br /> <br /><strong>Debbie:</strong> A few years ago, amid all the wrapping paper and boxes and toys galore, an ornery grandpa mad a paper airplane and started a war. We spent a great part of the day shooting planes at each other and ignoring all the expensive gifts! What a fun day!</p>
<p><strong>Lea:</strong> Mine is when I was about 10. My Dad was without a full time job. He was remodeling homes to bring in money, (it was the 80's when building was at a total stop). We all knew money was super super tight in our family. Our tree was in the family room,and on Christmas morning, my mom kept the all the curtains is the house closed. Strange but who cared; it was gift opening time! The last 3 boxes, my two sisters and I had to open at the same time. To say the least, we were confused: a curry brush, new halter, lead rope, and cowboy boots. We had been taking riding lessons and all we could think was these things were for the horses we rode every week. Then mom pulled the curtains back and there in the backyard, staring at the sliding glass door was the most beautiful horse!! OUR HORSE!! Many years later, I found out Dad had traded remodeling of someone's house to get the horse and tack. Money that should of gone toward bills or food, but my dad wanted us girls to have a horse so he and Mom gave up that money so our Christmas would be special!<br /> <br /><strong>Jo:</strong> Every Christmas Eve we went next door to my Grandma's house. And every time we came home there would be brand new PJ's waiting on our beds. We loved going to sleep to wait for Santa in our new 'Night Gowns'!</p>
<p><strong>Frank:</strong> Several years ago I was playing Santa for a local charity which saw that needy children had a Christmas. One of my stops was to a girl about 9. When I went in the apartment I could see they did indeed need help with Christmas as there was only a bare scragley looking tree and no presents. The girl's mom (a single mother) said her daughter was playing with her friend at the other end of the apartment building and would I wait. I assured her I would. When the girl came home my fears were confirmed - she brought her friend. The little girl asked me if I had anything for her friend. I had to admit I didn't as she wasn't on my list and made up some story I would be making another trip and maybe then. "That's ok Santa!" the girl exclaimed, "I will give her some of mine!" I then watched as she divided her presents with her friend. To this day I am thankful for that little girl who showed me (Santa Claus) the TRUE MEANING of Christmas.</p>
<p>Read more or post your own at <a href="http://www.facebook.com/DrLaura" target="_blank">Facebook.com/DrLaura</a></p>
Staff
2011-12-21T17:36:00Z
Quote for Your Refrigerator
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Quote-for-Your-Refrigerator/829520714145955937.html
2011-12-21T17:34:00Z
2011-12-21T17:34:00Z
<p>Thought you could use this quote as you see fit. It has helped me in the five years it has been tacked on my refrigerator - right at eye level!</p>
<p><em>"When you know something's wrong, it's always worth whatever it takes to say no."</em></p>
<p>I cut it out of a newspaper years ago, and I believe it was part of my horoscope.</p>
<p>Thank you, and keep it up - your everyday actions and words are changing lives.</p>
<p>Shelley <br />Stay-at-Home-Mom for 23 years.</p>
Staff
2011-12-21T17:34:00Z
Second-Hand Piano
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Second-Hand-Piano/352678389303939841.html
2011-12-21T01:03:00Z
2011-12-21T01:03:00Z
<p>My fondest memory of a Christmas past is a conversation I overheard between my parents. I was around five years old at the time. They knew I really wanted to learn how to play the piano but the purchase of a piano would be above and beyond what they could afford in those days. I recall hearing my mom say, "I wish we could at least afford to buy Joanie a second-hand piano." In my five-year old brain, a second-hand piano was a type of piano not unlike a Steinway or Yamaha.</p>
<p>A few days later my mother, sister, my aunt and I were shopping. We stopped to chat with a sidewalk Santa who asked the inevitable question: "What would you like for Christmas?" Without a moment's hesitation I replied: "A second-hand piano."</p>
<p>Need I explain my mother's embarrassment? But Santa, being Santa, responded with a pat on the head and the inevitable, "Ho-ho-ho."</p>
<p>When I retired from teaching in 2002, my first order of business was to search for a piano instructor and take lessons. And sitting in my living room is one of my most prized possessions: a beautiful, gently used, baby grand.</p>
<p>Although I had to wait approximately 55 years, Santa finally came through with the second-hand piano.</p>
<p>Joan</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2011-12-21T01:03:00Z
Betrayed by Someone We Trusted
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Betrayed-by-Someone-We-Trusted/372775049209215273.html
2011-12-21T01:00:00Z
2011-12-21T01:00:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura</p>
<p>This is how your book, "Surviving a Shark Attack (on Land) helped me. I saw you promoting your new book on one of the morning shows. As you were talking about it, I was amazed at how perfect the timing was. We had just been betrayed by someone we should have been able to trust. Shark is a good way to describe him. Betrayal is a good way to describe what he did:</p>
<p>Recently, my daughter had a horrible experience with one of her college professors. For an entire semester, he bullied, harassed and belittled her. It made her so nervous that she almost wanted to quit the program she was in with only one semester to go. My daughter submitted a complaint to the college. When the college asked professor about it, the situation seemed to get worse. He made up facts and distorted partial truths like you said this type of person does. The other teachers seemed to look the other way. Maybe they were afraid of being next in the crosshairs. Not that I want to make excuses for them. Evil does persist because most people won’t stand up to it. We consulted an attorney about this professor and the school. The attorney told us that for $7500, we could sue but we would be better off putting the money toward tuition at another school. Why would we want her to still go to that college? That added more insult to injury. I’m still not sure whose side he was on. He charged me a lot for that advice. You were right that the legal and social systems seemed to lean over backward to protect this type of person. Betrayal does leave you stunned. It is overwhelming and demoralizing. I couldn’t even describe the feelings until I read your book. When you are a good person, betrayal is shocking. We purposely try not to have that type of person in our lives. Sometimes, they sneak in disguised as teachers or someone you should be able to trust. You trust that professors and colleges will have some sort of code of ethics or morals. There is no explanation for evil. The revenge for my daughter is, by transferring to another school, she will get her degree early.</p>
<p>C.</p>
Staff
2011-12-21T01:00:00Z
A New Way of Thinking
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-New-Way-of-Thinking/915573028283874205.html
2011-12-19T23:31:00Z
2011-12-19T23:31:00Z
<p>Hi Dr Laura!<br /> <br />With Christmas approaching, I just wanted to take another opportunity to express my thanks to you. A couple months ago I wrote you that I read, and put into practice, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." My marriage wasn't headed in a good direction, and your advice has changed my marriage dramatically in a positive direction.</p>
<p>You gave me a WHOLE new way of thinking. I can truly say now I have fallen in love with my husband all over again! You have no idea what a weight it is off my shoulders to wake up every morning and think that! In return, my husband wants to make me happy because I am willing to do the same for him... and most importantly, my son sees two parents who love and care for one another. I listen to your show every day now, and I am currently reading "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage" as a follow up to keep it all fresh in my mind. I think of you as my own personal counselor!</p>
<p>Thanks again for helping me so much! Merry Christmas, Dr. Laura. Mine will be merry thanks to you! I'm sending you a big hug.</p>
<p>Love,</p>
<p>Julia</p>
Staff
2011-12-19T23:31:00Z
What I Want to be When I Grow Up
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/What-I-Want-to-be-When-I-Grow-Up/591938919193728481.html
2011-12-19T23:24:00Z
2011-12-19T23:24:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>When I was growing up, to earn my weekly allowance, my dad used to have me write an essay. One week, he assigned me to write about what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote a paper about how I wanted to be a housewife and stay at home mom. He gave me the paper back, and said it wasn't acceptable. He made me re-write it, choosing a "real career". Just to get my allowance, I wrote what he wanted; I knew he wanted me to be a lawyer as he was. But, I never forgot how mad that made me. By the way, when I had my kids, I did become a stay at home mom, and it has been the best thing I have ever done in my life. I have 2 fantastic children who reflect my (and my husband's) values.</p>
<p>You are the best Dr. Laura. Keep telling the truth,</p>
<p>J.<br />My Kids Mom too!</p>
Staff
2011-12-19T23:24:00Z
R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/R.E.S.P.E.C.T./541982758732782423.html
2011-12-17T00:13:00Z
2011-12-17T00:13:00Z
<p>R.E.S.P.E.C.T. What does it mean to me?</p>
<p>As a mom and Dr. Laura listener, it means raising kids who are Responsible, Enduring, Steadfast, Productive, Effective, Charitable and Tolerant.</p>
<p>Fueled by your advice to raise one’s own children, and prompted by gratitude that, as a cancer survivor, I was given the opportunity to make an impact on my kids’ lives, we made the decision to raise our own children. It was tough. I endured treatments while one of my newborn twins underwent open heart surgery. But we were blessed with health, remained committed, and, in the years to follow, taught our kids about character, serving God and one’s community. Long periods of joy were punctuated by equally (doubly?) long periods of frustration. Employment might have been the more celebrated, profitable (and peaceful) route. We are parents to two talented 16 year old twins and a lovely 18 year old, and I’m glad I did not take the easy route! As I write this, my kids are serving the needy: one in our community, and one on Skid Row. My youngest, a songwriter and worship leader, has recently recorded a song “See It Through Me” (shameless plug) in which all the proceeds benefit a foundation assisting families with children suffering life threatening illnesses. One has committed to helping an organization called Invisible Children, assisting kids in the war torn region of Uganda and the Congo.<br /> <br />As a bonus, staying at home has allowed me to become involved in their friends’ lives as well, and I am honored to be “Mamma B” to countless other incredible teens that frequent my home. I am many kids’ mom!</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>I.</p>
Staff
2011-12-17T00:13:00Z
I So Admire My Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-So-Admire-My-Husband/-795054025444947465.html
2011-12-17T00:06:00Z
2011-12-17T00:06:00Z
<p>Do I have a MAN for a Husband? Yes I do. We'll be married 31 years in February.<br /><br />His father and maternal grandmother did not approve of me as a prospective wife and did everything in their power to discredit and humiliate me. All because I had been previously married, had a daughter and was not an 18 year old Catholic virgin. His mother, on the other hand, was one of the sweetest most loving people I have ever met in my life which is where my husband got his character. He disowned his father, who was truly evil, and his grandmother and has devoted his life to making me happy. As a result I cannot do enough for him including reading The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands when he was about to retire. That book has helped me keep focused on the important stuff and ignore the petty. I also have to tell you my husband has brought me down from my high horse on numerous occasions by saying "Now, now would Dr. Laura approve?" That makes me laugh every time.</p>
<p>Thank you!</p>
<p>Sally</p>
Staff
2011-12-17T00:06:00Z
Preparing To Be A Wife And Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Preparing-To-Be-A-Wife-And-Mother/-147044424842193053.html
2011-12-15T15:46:00Z
2011-12-15T15:46:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I read the email from the single mom who learned it was okay to be a wife and mother. It brought back some memories of when I was dating.</p>
<p>When I was 32 I had a blind date with a young lady of 20. That is all she wanted out of life, to be a wife and mother. I asked her where she was going to college. She wasn't. Further conversation revealed she had no use for higher education. She was working at a local thrift store, biding her time, waiting to meet the father of her children. That was when I set aside any interest I might have had in that young lady.</p>
<p>I've never had any problem with a woman wanting nothing but to be a wife and mother. But I always expected that whatever a person wants to become, and do, they should prepare themselves to be the best that they can be. Young women need to understand their choice of becoming a wife and mother doesn't relieve them of the responsibility to grow and mature as a person, and to prepare themselves to be a great wife and a wonderful loving mom. I believe a college education is a great way to grow up as a person and, depending on one's choice of school and major, it can be a great way to prepare one for being a mom.</p>
<p>I am not sure where or how one learns to be a great wife, other than listening to you.</p>
<p>Martin</p>
Staff
2011-12-15T15:46:00Z
Lessons for Raising Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lessons-for-Raising-Kids/1143812507952340.html
2011-12-15T15:44:00Z
2011-12-15T15:44:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>In the early 1990's, (my then) shack-up honey and I started listening to you. We were raising (my now) husband's, 10 year old daughter. I immediately loved your program and listened everyday. Both of us were so confused in raising a 10 year old. From you we learned: <br />1) kids don't own anything while they are still in our care. <br />2) As parents, we have the right to search their room if we believe there is reason for it. 3) When they dispute discipline and consequences, because of their wrong choices, there is no reason for arguing as we are the parents and they are the child.<br />4) We learned from you, a child needs to feel loved and secure, so we got married to give his daughter – now OUR daughter – security, my commitment to her, and stability.</p>
<p>Dr Laura, I’m thankful for you because she is now a 30 year old mother who embraced true principles and fundamental values we learned from you and your callers problems and dilemmas and our course our faith in God. If only I had heard you when I was raising my son who is now 40 years old.</p>
<p>Thank you for all you contribute to society about values and truth! I now put all I've learned from you in practice with my grandkids!</p>
<p>D.</p>
Staff
2011-12-15T15:44:00Z
11 Years Later
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/11-Years-Later/-5614351247428036.html
2011-12-15T00:05:00Z
2011-12-15T00:05:00Z
<p>I was 23 and stupid but smart enough to know I had to find a job to make some money before I stared graduate school. At that job, the radio was set to your show. Thank God for that. I heard you say "you have to kiss a lot of toads before you find your prince". The quote is still in my bible today, 11 years later.</p>
<p>I left that needy girl behind along with a bad relationship and a toxic guy. I found myself and because of that, found my prince. I completed Graduate school, got an excellent job in healthcare serving our nation's veterans and wounded warriors.</p>
<p>I have listened to you every day after work to keep my "girlfriend" skills fine tuned. My husband and I have a beautiful baby girl and as I type this, I have just emailed my letter of resignation to a top notch boss so I can now become My Kid's Mom - full time. Thank you Dr. Laura. Without your advice, I know I would not have been shaped into the wise woman, wife, and mother I have come to be. Of all life's decisions I have made, the most difficult has been to put my career on the back burner. I work every day to improve the quality of life for our veterans of war and while this is of great need, ultimately, my daughter needs me more. I am certain without your mission, I would not have hit send on that email today.</p>
<p>From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I'll keep you posted on life as My Kid's Mom and My Husband's Girlfriend.</p>
<p>C.</p>
Staff
2011-12-15T00:05:00Z
Focusing on my Boy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Focusing-on-my-Boy/857186942868141948.html
2011-12-13T15:34:00Z
2011-12-13T15:34:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I remember having to do a report in school about what we wanted to be when we grew up. I always knew I wanted to be a wife and mom. But I never thought it was the ‘right’ answer. So I would make up something. I would say I wanted to be a lawyer or a librarian. I really just wanted to be a wife and mom. I wanted to cook and clean and do laundry. You helped me realize wanting to be a wife and mom was okay. In fact it was great.</p>
<p>Unfortunately I made some mistakes in life. I am a mom to a great 11 year old boy. But I have not been a wife. When my son was younger, about 3 years old, I was focused on dating and trying to meet a guy. I still wanted to be a wife, but I was forgetting I was a mom. You taught me to make my son my number one priority now. I stopped dating and started focusing on my son. We do homework together every night. We have dinner together every evening. We go to church together on Sundays. I go to every one of his baseball games and practices.</p>
<p>It has taken some time, but his father and I now get along great. I made a point to never speak badly about his father.</p>
<p>So many women tell me I need to take time for myself. I need to get a man. I need to go out on the weekends. I am so proud to tell them nothing makes me happier then when I am spending time with my son. And that is the truth!! I see these same women neglect their kids because they need ‘me time.’ They bring so many random men in and out of their children’s lives. I was on that same path at one point. But I thank God I started to listen to you. I am focused on my son and I know I am doing the right thing.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, for all you do for families.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>M.</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2011-12-13T15:34:00Z
Being a Strong Woman
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-a-Strong-Woman/203407380951983609.html
2011-12-13T15:31:00Z
2011-12-13T15:31:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I heard your commentary about how women should spend their 20s becoming confident and competent...Amen sister!</p>
<p>I goofed and was married at 21 to an SOB, then married again at 27 to another SOB (But I have no kids - I am not THAT much of an idiot). Now, at 35, I am married to a strong, wonderful man who loves me and takes care of me (and I take care of him). He wakes me up with coffee and a kiss, packs my lunch and supports everything I do... His mother must have been a brilliant woman (sadly she passed before I met her). I get it now...if a woman loves herself, has confidence in herself and is prepared to be a good partner...good things will happen. I am sorry it took me so damn long to listen, but I am glad I finally got it right!</p>
<p>Thanks for all you do and Merry Christmas!</p>
<p>Kindly,</p>
<p>S. (a hardworking high school administrator, married to an even harder working high school teacher)</p>
Staff
2011-12-13T15:31:00Z
A Light Bulb to Relationships
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Light-Bulb-to-Relationships/-4065626347044655.html
2011-12-12T23:00:00Z
2011-12-12T23:00:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>For a little bit of background, I am 35 years old, divorced and dating a man (my MAN) for about 1 year, and our intentions are to marry in a year, or so.</p>
<p>I was introduced to your radio show a couple years back by my mom, and always loved the way you were so straightforward and how you always tell it like it is. My mom also suggested your book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, which I just finished reading two days ago.</p>
<p>I need to say THANK YOU for this book. As a young woman who struggled through life in an extremely feminist and man-hating society, I desperately wished to understand why the world is this way, or why this way was not working in MY life. Surely, I couldn't be in the wrong, when the entire world it seemed was acting the same way.</p>
<p>I believe there is a desperate need for young women everywhere to have a guide like this.</p>
<p>After I met my MAN everything for me changed. I was changed from someone who had become bitter and cynical about love, to someone who couldn't hide the love overflowing from inside me. I went from being hardened, to someone soft, feminine and nurturing.</p>
<p>Your book was like a light bulb to me. If this book saves marriages in trouble, I believe it will save marriages, even before they have begun. What an amazing gift!</p>
<p>I have put the book into action in my own relationship, and while it was never lacking to begin with, I am already positive this will ensure our staying in love for years to come.</p>
<p>Thank you from the bottom of my heart for saying the things which are difficult for people to hear. You have already saved my (soon to be) marriage a million times over.</p>
<p>L.</p>
Staff
2011-12-12T23:00:00Z
Staying in My Comfort Zone
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Staying-in-My-Comfort-Zone/-899829986093441365.html
2011-12-12T22:59:00Z
2011-12-12T22:59:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am writing to thank you for helping me to understand why I do certain things which have held me back in terms of career and relationships and for just getting me excited about life in general. I would also like to thank you for just standing up for what is just and moral.</p>
<p>I have been guilty of not going beyond my comfort zone, so I never put myself "out there" professionally or personally, which has resulted in me not living up to my potential. This is no way to go through life because it's not truly living, it's just going through the motions and life is too precious for that. Staying in my comfort zone will no longer be my modus operandi.</p>
<p>From your handling of callers to your books, I have learned a tremendous amount about myself, being a woman, and men.</p>
<p>I am not alone in knowing you are a positive force in this world for good and for empowering people to live life to its fullest. Thank you for what you do.</p>
<p>Tracy</p>
Staff
2011-12-12T22:59:00Z
It Took A While to Sink In
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/It-Took-A-While-to-Sink-In/-926323790817284726.html
2011-12-09T23:25:00Z
2011-12-09T23:25:00Z
<p>My life completely changed 8 years ago. I was married, had 2 children, a career that kept me in the office 9 hours a day, 5 days a week. While I was in my office I always listened to you. I had a wonderful Nanny raising my children, but when I would talk to my husband about staying at home with my kids, he would just laugh. I obviously was not going about this the correct way.</p>
<p>Then, one day I got a slap on the face. I found out my husband was having an affair with a married mother of 2 from my kids' elementary school. I was devastated. I wanted to work this out, he was my husband and the father of my children. One week later, I was laid off of my job of 12 years. One week after that I turned 40 (I thought that was going to be my highlight of the year). As it turned out, my husband wanted out. My kids were only 8 & 5.</p>
<p>We get along great now, he is on his 2nd divorce to yet another woman. I did not have the energy to put on a suit and a happy face to look for a job. Soooo, I started my own business from home! I have been able to work out of my house and be with my children. I feel God had a hand in this, knowing my kids would be better off having me home while their dad was gone. My oldest is going off to college next year and both are doing exceptional at school (an all girls' high school).</p>
<p>I have learned from you and my own experience, one may be able to do it all, career, marriage, mother, but one cannot do them all well. My marriage fell apart. 8 years ago, I would cry and ask God to end my life. I now say he did end the life I had and gave me a better one. I have been able to be my own boss and be there for my daughters. I have not dated - I don't believe that is being a good role model, especially when raising girls.</p>
<p>I was proud of my college bound daughter when I overheard her conversation about careers with her sister. My 14 year old was saying she does not want to be dependent on a man - but my 18 year old replied, "I'm ok with having a husband who can support me while I raise our children." Though I listened to you for years, I was not functioning as I should have. But now I am! Maybe after all those years it finally sunk in.</p>
<p>A.</p>
Staff
2011-12-09T23:25:00Z
One Cannot Change Without the Other
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/One-Cannot-Change-Without-the-Other/-206097903284510446.html
2011-12-09T23:24:00Z
2011-12-09T23:24:00Z
<p>My husband and I have been married for 24 years. He is my hero and I am his girlfriend. Mothering my children is my main job after caring for my husband.</p>
<p>While attempting to support a struggling friend who was headed for divorce I read your book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. We had been through hard times and I found we had unknowingly followed your guidance on getting it back together. I have since given your book to many friends.</p>
<p>I recently told a struggling friend who wants her husband to change first, "I don't know how God takes a man who is doing things wrong and turns him into a whole new guy when his wife does right by him. But I know God does it, because I am sure I didn't do it all."</p>
<p>Thanks for getting the word out on how to be a great wife.</p>
<p>C.</p>
Staff
2011-12-09T23:24:00Z
Kicked it up a Notch
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Kicked-it-up-a-Notch/136935118734028268.html
2011-12-08T22:01:00Z
2011-12-08T22:01:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I listened to you on XM for a while and couldn't believe how straight and narrow your comments were. Some of them offended me (I realize you still get a bit appalled sometimes, but, hey, that's part of being educated). I commented to a few people that you were unbelievable and I'm no china doll, no southern belle… THEN, I started quoting you, once in a while, then, constantly, THEN I just adopted your same philosophy, and I now think very much like you and speak very much like you as far as cutting to the chase. You put me over the top, Dr Laura, and I'M just as hard on myself as I am on anyone else...it's a better life now.</p>
<p>Thank you from the bottom of my heart.</p>
<p>Carolyn</p>
Staff
2011-12-08T22:01:00Z
Dangerous Advertising
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Dangerous-Advertising/453023907712758701.html
2011-12-08T22:00:00Z
2011-12-08T22:00:00Z
<p>I recently emailed Victoria's Secret concerning their Holiday ad. It is so vulgar it borders on porn. I can not believe they are getting away with this disgrace. (<strong><a href="http://vsallaccess.victoriassecret.com/2011/12/01/victorias-secret-tell-me-you-love-me-extended-cut/" target="_blank">Watch it here</a></strong>) Their models are seen in scanty underwear and positioned in vulgar and sexually suggestive poses. I believe this is the kind of advertising that endangers all young girls. It teaches them promiscuity is acceptable and only exceptional looks are important, not to mention "lie around half naked and invite anything in to seduce you." This is the kind of swill which can lead to teen suicides. Victoria's Secret is irresponsible, harmful and trashy. They go too far!! Where is the integrity? How can they show their faces in decent society?</p>
<p>Dana</p>
Staff
2011-12-08T22:00:00Z
Mom Just as Guilty as Dad
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Mom-Just-as-Guilty-as-Dad/382171331637906797.html
2011-12-07T22:01:00Z
2011-12-07T22:01:00Z
<p>I grew up in a house where my father verbally, emotionally, and physically abused me and my two sisters (I thank God there was no sexual abuse to any of us). His mood swings were sporadic and we were always walking on eggshells.</p>
<p>As a child I had always thought of my Mom as an innocent victim, but after a comment from my sister and listening to you over the years, I came to realize my Mom is just as damaged as he is and she is just as guilty for the abuse because she CHOSE to stand by and do nothing (they've been married 45yrs now). Like you've said on your show, "water seeks its own level." So now I have a whole new perspective. I don't feel sorry for her and how he treats her and when she complains about him and his usual antics, I just look at her and smile and say, "You chose him, Mom" and then either change the subject or walk out of the room.</p>
<p>To all the young adults out there: Please choose wisely! Your future children are depending on you.</p>
<p>C</p>
Staff
2011-12-07T22:01:00Z
Learning to Stand Up for What's Right
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Learning-to-Stand-Up-for-Whats-Right/-675518271347167952.html
2011-12-07T22:00:00Z
2011-12-07T22:00:00Z
<p>We tell those in authority to report abuse immediately and for kids younger than eighteen(?) that is the only tool we have to help. We should tell the over 18's they have a moral responsibility to all the younger to try to keep them from similar fates. It is sad that so many back away from moral judgments on harmful behavior. But sex and violence toward others no longer has any consequence. We aren't 'allowed' to question such behavior toward others and sometimes even laugh it off!</p>
<p>My daughter, 40's, brushed it off the other day when her daughter, my granddaughter, was disrespectful of a young woman's name. The young woman, a visitor in my home is from Russia and has a difficult name. On being told the name, my granddaughter tried it once then said, "Whatever your name is!" My daughter laughed. I was stunned, because my daughter would not have been allowed to get away without a "sorry" for her inconsideration. I think the moral stuff starts here. As trivial as this occurrence may seem it is how children learn unconditional respect. It is that respect, consideration for another's good, which will propel one to stop any harm, sexual or otherwise, to another. If there is no chance of stopping it at the time, at least it can be stopped for the next victim. My daughter allowed her daughter to get away with it, even gave her a laugh. What might be next? I regret not saying something myself right then but will do so next time it occurs.</p>
<p>C.</p>
Staff
2011-12-07T22:00:00Z
Sexual Harassment in Elementary School
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sexual-Harassment-in-Elementary-School/84035372589019193.html
2011-12-06T23:28:00Z
2011-12-06T23:28:00Z
<p>You opened your show talking about how a nine year old boy was suspended from school for saying his teacher was "cute."</p>
<p>My son had just started Kindergarten at 4yrs old. I picked him up at noon and across the play yard at the top of his lungs he yelled out to his teacher "See you later, Sweet Cheeks." I was so embarrassed and apologized to the teacher. We sat our son down to explain why he must not say that to anyone. He just didn't get it. His response was "Daddy says that to you all the time."</p>
<p>Luckily for us the teacher thought it was "cute."</p>
<p>A.</p>
Staff
2011-12-06T23:28:00Z
A No Nonsense Woman
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-No-Nonsense-Woman/585804111816611525.html
2011-12-06T23:26:00Z
2011-12-06T23:26:00Z
<p>I was raised by a no nonsense woman. Life was simple for my mom. If you told the truth and stood up for what was right, all would go well for you. Many times as a child, I would tell my mom about an incidence. She would give me her best advice, to which I would reply "They will be mad." She would reply "They will just have to get glad." Hard words to swallow for a kid, but that was my mom, very straight forward.</p>
<p>Years past and I grew and had children of my own. I had 3 daughters. I raised my kids with the same approach to life. Tell the truth and be honest and all will be ok.</p>
<p>My mother died when my girls were small. I missed her no nonsense advice. There was no one in my life who could tell it like it was like my mom. Then one day shortly after we moved to L.A. in the very early '80s, I was searching for a radio station and there she was: My Mom on the radio. Her name was different and her voice not the same, but the comments and the same no nonsense approach to life. This lady's name was Dr. Laura…. It was pure joy on my part and I have been a loyal listener ever since. I would listen to Dr. Laura when I picked up the girls from school everyday. Yes I was a stay at home mom. I felt this was my number 1 job. The girls are grown now, but when one of them has a unique problem the other says "That sounds like a Dr. Laura call for sure." We all say, "Yes it does. What would Dr. Laura say for advice?"</p>
<p>I have learned so much from you. You has taught us about things like putting children first above all else, staying home with your children has great value, how to stand up to abortion, how the sexualization of young children is evil, how divorce HURTS kids most of all, how to treat our spouses and to pick well and treat kindly. Most of all you have inspired me to carry your thoughts out into my world and to the people I come in contact with; to go in to our community, help kids and talk the truth about the worlds around us. My parents are my true heroes in life, but next to them is you. You have carried on for years with sometimes not much more than criticism and yet you just keep going and going and going.</p>
<p>Thank you soooo much for staying on the air and tell people what they need to hear and not what they want to hear. You are loved by millions of listeners; they can't all be wrong. I am sure there are people who you have truly helped save their lives. I just wanted to tell you how you help us not so messed up people, who find it hard to rise to the top anymore, to do just that: Rise to the top and love the view. Thanks for all you do for all our mental health in a very crazy world.<br /><br />J.</p>
Staff
2011-12-06T23:26:00Z
A Car at Sixteen
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Car-at-Sixteen/57380709039080636.html
2011-12-05T23:46:00Z
2011-12-05T23:46:00Z
<p>Regarding the call about the teenager needing a car… Children do not need a car at sixteen. They do not even need to drive at that age.</p>
<p>We had the opposite problem with our son at almost sixteen. We had to force him to take Driver's Ed and then to get his license. ("Force" may be too strong of a word.) We live three miles from the nearest bus route, so we told him that the Mom and Dad Taxi Service would stop at certain dates. He was a teenager who became a National AP scholar and got academic and swim scholarships to college. His complaint was "Do you know what happens when a car going 45mph collides with another car going that speed?" We assured him we knew and that is why he would have Driver's Ed and practice. I reminded him his parents were getting old and did not need to drive him to 5:30 am practice.</p>
<p>He is now getting his doctorate degree in Physics and still does not use a car or own a car in his name. His now wife came with a car. She must drive to graduate school 40 miles away, but our son uses his bike, feet, or bus to get to work.</p>
<p>When he was a teen, he told me I didn't need to listen to you because he thought you could take tips from me! Parents, have expectations of your kids and teach them to have expectations of themselves!</p>
<p>Thanks,<br /><br />Mary</p>
Staff
2011-12-05T23:46:00Z
Take Time to Grow Up First
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Take-Time-to-Grow-Up-First/406491271751113744.html
2011-12-05T23:44:00Z
2011-12-05T23:44:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura -</p>
<p>I saw in our local paper last evening a couple, who my kids had grown up knowing, had gotten a divorce. They have two school-age kids who are approx. 8-10 years old. PLEASE keep pounding it into people's heads they need to really KNOW their prospective partners - take time to grow up before you commit, and never, never ignore red flags about the other person! Also, please keep emphasizing the participants in a really solid marriage never stop being their spouse's boyfriend or girlfriend. That relationship is the cement in a marriage, and good kids and happy parents are the product.</p>
<p>Can you imagine this couple (they are both in their late 30's) telling their kids "Merry Christmas - and by the way, we're splitting up the family?" It breaks my heart!</p>
<p>Ann</p>
Staff
2011-12-05T23:44:00Z
Undoing the Damage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Undoing-the-Damage/-133353405222890089.html
2011-12-02T23:22:00Z
2011-12-02T23:22:00Z
<p>I did the unthinkable and had a long term affair that resulted in the dissolution of 2 marriages. I married "the affair" and 10 years into it, I lost him the same way I found him.</p>
<p>The pain was unimaginable. Worse, I now knew how the people we had hurt felt. I made a conscious effort to apologize to my ex-husband, his ex-wife, and the children of those marriages. I will never be able to undo the damage my selfishness caused, but I strive to be a better person because of it.</p>
<p>I love your show, I've read your books & I appreciate all you do</p>
Staff
2011-12-02T23:22:00Z
Hard to Forgive Oneself
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hard-to-Forgive-Oneself/-712359107201599341.html
2011-12-02T23:20:00Z
2011-12-02T23:20:00Z
<p>When I was probably 8 - 10 years old, I helped sell donuts after church for my parish. While I was selling them, I would slip change into my shoes, so really I was stealing from the church. How sad is that!</p>
<p>This bothered me immensely all of my life. When I was in my 30's, I mailed my letter of confession to my old parish, along with $100.00. The current priest sent me the nicest letter, letting me know the $100.00 was not necessary, and he was sure God had forgiven me.</p>
<p>Sometimes it's hard for us to forgive ourselves, even if others have forgiven us.</p>
<p>M.</p>
Staff
2011-12-02T23:20:00Z
Helping My Messy Kid
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Helping-My-Messy-Kid/-879405396952542270.html
2011-12-02T00:06:00Z
2011-12-02T00:06:00Z
<p>I discovered a neat trick to help my 13 year old boy pick up after himself. He's my youngest and I've always just picked up after him because it's been "easier". He would leave his trash, dirty dishes, clothes etc. right where he was, and when I would call him to clean up, it was like he honestly couldn't see the problem.</p>
<p>I finally realized I was not doing him any favors and when I started expecting him to clean up after himself I was met with "resistance" to say the least. My solution, I made it like an Easter Egg Hunt, "Fix the problems in the room...there are 5." I combine this with hotter/colder hints. I count as he fixes them and he's almost eager to "play". Also, I've even noticed he has started picking up after himself a bit better as time goes on, it's like he actually has started thinking and seeing things he was truly blind to in the past.</p>
<p>Tamara</p>
Staff
2011-12-02T00:06:00Z
He Asked for a Separation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Asked-for-a-Separation/-251747247616112691.html
2011-12-02T00:04:00Z
2011-12-02T00:04:00Z
<p>I just recently read your book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands," hoping to save my marriage. It's AMAZING! I never realized how horrible I have treated my husband. Thank you so much for giving me insight on how to be a good wife.</p>
<p>My husband and I have been together for 10 years and married for 8 years. We have gone through a lot. I had a rough childhood, on the other hand his parents were married until his dad passed away almost 4 years ago. We had 2 completely different childhoods. I took my bad experiences and related them to our daily lives. I didn't realize this until he asked for a separation. He is an amazing husband and father. I took advantage of him and he had finally had enough in October.</p>
<p>We have 2 young boys, 5 and 3 years old. We both have very stressful jobs and we work opposite night shifts so one parent is always with the boys.</p>
<p>I have done everything possible to make this work. He came home Oct 24th! Our marriage has improved. Neither of us has been truly happy - until now.</p>
<p>Thank you so much!</p>
<p>A.</p>
Staff
2011-12-02T00:04:00Z
Clearing My Conscience
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Clearing-My-Conscience/-346742916977589345.html
2011-12-01T00:01:00Z
2011-12-01T00:01:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>When I was in 5th grade, I cheated on a test. I didn't know the answer to one of the questions, and I wanted to get a good grade, so I looked at my classmate's test and got the answer. Wouldn't you know, I got a 100 on that test. Well, it bothered me so badly afterwards, especially with getting a 100, that I stayed in at recess time and "confessed" to my teacher, whom I happened to have much respect for. In fact, many times I accidentally slipped and called him "Dad" when addressing him. He thought I was very brave for coming forward with this. He talked to me about right and wrong, and allowed me to keep the grade.</p>
<p>Many years later, when my own children were going through the same school district, I approached this teacher and he remembered me and the incident. He said out of all of his years teaching, he never had a student come forward and confess to cheating.</p>
<p>L.</p>
Staff
2011-12-01T00:01:00Z
Getting a Driver's License
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Getting-a-Drivers-License/115926713828474910.html
2011-11-29T22:30:00Z
2011-11-29T22:30:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I listen to your show every night on the way home from work (repeat from the day). The other night, I was listening to the woman who had an almost 16 yr old son who would soon be getting his driver's license and his friends were being given cars for their 16th birthday...</p>
<p>It never ceases to amaze me the mind set of parents today - including that woman caller who never thought not to let him get his license because of his attitude, grades, and disrespect. I raised 4 children - 3 being triplets - and just because they were 16 didn't mean an automatic license... 2 got them at 16, 1 at 17, and 1 had to wait until he was 18 and of legal age... No way was I going to let him out on the street to drive...</p>
<p>No wonder the kids are out of control these days with parents who have no common sense... Parents, wise up, take parenting classes because you sure don't know what the hell you're doing...</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura...</p>
<p>T.</p>
Staff
2011-11-29T22:30:00Z
The Reading Mother
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Reading-Mother/811515114605032828.html
2011-11-29T22:29:00Z
2011-11-29T22:29:00Z
<p>Recently you talked about how parents want printed books for their children instead of ebooks and the value of reading to children. I recently won a full scholarship to return to college and complete my degree. One of the essay questions asked "What do you consider to be your 'Major accomplishments'"? I responded I have raised my children (now ages 21 and 24) to be readers. They read not just for schoolwork or general information, but for pleasure.</p>
<p>I also included the last verses of poet Strickland Gillian's "The Reading Mother" which I read many years ago (pre-motherhood) and have never forgotten.</p>
<p>"You may have tangible wealth untold,<br />Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.<br />Richer than I you can never be<br />I had a mother who read to me."</p>
<p>Lisa</p>
Staff
2011-11-29T22:29:00Z
Being Flexible During the Holidays
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Being-Flexible-During-the-Holidays/680379823419964196.html
2011-11-28T21:08:00Z
2011-11-28T21:08:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>With the holiday season upon us I wanted to share with you our experience from last year. For many years I have made it a tradition to invite my in-laws for dinner on Christmas Eve. It has always been a wonderful time.</p>
<p>Last year though my husband, who works for an airline, got switched to the night shift. As Christmas Eve approached it became apparent he was not going to get the night off. Not wanting to exclude him, I began thinking of canceling our tradition. But then on your program I heard you mention something about being flexible during the holiday season. So I talked to my husband and called my in-laws. On Christmas Eve I woke up early and went into high gear with Christmas music going full blast in the background. After several hours of preparation our Christmas Eve dinner was ready to be served at 1:00pm. Everyone had a wonderful time and my husband went off to work happy without having missed anything.</p>
<p>Margaret</p>
Staff
2011-11-28T21:08:00Z
Made Two Simple Changes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Made-Two-Simple-Changes/-342315866027607474.html
2011-11-28T21:06:00Z
2011-11-28T21:06:00Z
<p>This morning my husband said, "I'm so lucky I have the best wife in the world!" Dr. Laura, we are not newlyweds, but have been married 35 years.</p>
<p>We always had a good marriage, but five years ago I read your book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. I made a vow at that time to do two things: I would never again say no to sex, and I would ban any negative talk about my husband from my speech or thoughts (the last being the harder part). I realized how I had gotten in the habit of thinking negative things: Why doesn't he do it the right way? Why can't he just get to the point? etc.</p>
<p>So, fast forward to today and I can truly say our marriage is stupendous, excellent, wonderful! These were simple things any woman can do, even if you don't feel like making the effort. Just do it! The pay off is definitely worth it. And you will find your love for the wonderful man you chose deepens into the best kind of life partnership anyone could wish for. So glad I read your book. Thank you.</p>
<p>P.</p>
Staff
2011-11-28T21:06:00Z
Finding Heart for my Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Finding-Heart-for-my-Husband/-279583269783296875.html
2011-11-22T22:34:00Z
2011-11-22T22:34:00Z
<p>I am a 44 year old woman, married for 15 years. We have two daughters 3 and 8. I work part time as a special needs counselor, and my husband works overnight at a hotel. Our 3 year old is not in day care. Between the two of us we watch the baby.</p>
<p>I am very good at complaining about what my husband does not do: take out the trash, wash dishes, cook, blah blah blah.</p>
<p>One day I was at the end of my rope with my 3 year old's whining. She had whined from the moment we got up, on the ride to my other daughter's school, and continued at home. My husband was preparing for bed, and I told him I was about to lose it. Nothing would calm her. My husband suddenly came to her and said: "Guess what? Handy Manny and his tools called and said they missed you. They want you to come and watch the show. Let's go get your hammer and watch the show." She stopped whining, said, "OK, Daddy." And clutching her tool, she laid down with dad and watched her show. I was so filled with love for my husband at that moment, I wanted to jump his bones! I had something so special - I was totally appreciative of him. I love you Ricardo.</p>
<p>D.</p>
Staff
2011-11-22T22:34:00Z
GI Bill Education
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/GI-Bill-Education/-235039406726853895.html
2011-11-22T22:33:00Z
2011-11-22T22:33:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>I couldn't listen that day, but noticed from your email you were commenting on Columbia University's recruitment of veterans as students. Two weeks ago, I started a new job at a prominent private university in southern California that also recruits veterans. As a VA Benefits Administrator, I am daily impressed by the quality of young men and women who are choosing undergrad or graduate education here. We are considered a "Yellow Ribbon" school, which means if a vet qualifies for 100% benefits with the VA, they will never pay a dime in tuition, even though our rates are well above the $17,500 cap allowed. Under our agreement with the VA, the difference is split between Veterans Affairs and the University. I am so honored to be able to assist these quality individuals who have so valiantly served our country. <br />Thanks for being such a vocal advocate for them!</p>
<p>Blessings to you,</p>
<p>T.</p>
Staff
2011-11-22T22:33:00Z
Why Guys Don't Call
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Why-Guys-Dont-Call/-441408920524577923.html
2011-11-21T22:20:00Z
2011-11-21T22:20:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Your commentary today hit a nerve. I am a 54 year old divorced man who waited until my kids were grown before dating again. I've been that guy who doesn't call back a few times now for a lot of the reasons you touched on. One woman spent the few dates we did go on endlessly discussing her work, her professional aspirations and not much else. She also asked after the 3rd date whether I found her attractive because I had not made any "moves" yet. This is even though I explained on the first dates that sex is precious and to be part of a committed relationship. The last woman I dated (also my age) spent most of the time discussing her mother issues - going so far as to tell me she took a job in the past to be away from her mother, but has just moved back. Not exactly a turn-on. I've also learned to tell a lot by how they discuss their daughters, particularly when the daughters are in shack up situations; having casual sex and then talking about how bad the men are their daughters pick, but never once about their daughters' behavior.</p>
<p>You're right, as a man, I would be more than interested in a woman who is feminine, not interviewing for a job and who knows how to engage a man.</p>
<p>You're the best,</p>
<p>R</p>
Staff
2011-11-21T22:20:00Z
Standing Up for the Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Standing-Up-for-the-Children/283813894150381294.html
2011-11-21T22:18:00Z
2011-11-21T22:18:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I was disgusted at the percentage of people you mentioned who would stand up for children, or abuse in general: Only 20%?? What is this world coming to? I am currently having to "stand up" for my niece. My sister has fallen into a world of alcohol and drugs. My niece is 12 and her father is on a deployment (oo-rah!). My sister lost custody of her two children several years ago but with dad being deployed, she has physical custody of her 12 year old daughter.</p>
<p>I spent a couple of days in prayer hoping one day my sister is clean and sober. My sister is an adult (almost 40) and this little girl is a helpless, impressionable child. My goal is to get my niece out of this situation before she learns to repeat this terrible cycle.</p>
<p>I am giving up a relationship with a sibling to keep a child safe, but if not me, then who? I beg your listeners if they see something weird going on, speak up! If you don't speak up, you are lending to the practices of future generations. If a child was abused and no one stood up for them, then how can they stand up for children as adults? It is a terrible cycle!</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, for all you do. You inspire me to always go out and "do the right thing!"</p>
<p>S.</p>
Staff
2011-11-21T22:18:00Z
Reporting Child Molestation
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Reporting-Child-Molestation/711910010668681281.html
2011-11-18T22:39:00Z
2011-11-18T22:39:00Z
<p>Thirty years ago when I was 21, I caught my 32 year old brother molesting his 7 year old daughter. I scooped her up, put her in my car and called the authorities. He was arrested and I was a witness for the prosecution. He spent 10 years in prison. Once released, he refused to register as a sex offender. Guess where he is today? Yes, in prison and has been for the last 13 years. He is right where he belongs. I have zero regret and would do it again in a heartbeat!</p>
<p>By the way, I've been listening to you for 35 years....I believe you were broadcasting out of UC Irvine way back when!</p>
<p>Thanks for all you do!</p>
<p>Barbara</p>
Staff
2011-11-18T22:39:00Z
Thank You For Your Service
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thank-You-For-Your-Service/-911124815845949728.html
2011-11-18T22:35:00Z
2011-11-18T22:35:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Last Friday, Veteran's Day, I had the honor of hearing a speech by Cody Gillies, a retired Army Ranger, a veteran of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars. Cody is currently a 2nd year law student at Mercer Law School in Macon, Georgia. He was asked to speak to the law school students and their visiting parents.</p>
<p>Before he began his planned speech, he asked if there were any veterans in the audience, a few hands went up and the crowd applauded their gratitude. Then he asked if there were any Vietnam vets in the audience. The man next to me raised his hand. Ranger Gillies looked directly at the man and said, "Thank you for your service and Welcome Home!" The crowd went crazy! Such a beautiful moment. The gentleman removed his eye glasses, withdrew a handkerchief from his pocket, and wiped his tearful eyes. I wiped mine too.</p>
<p>Cody went on to give a very powerful speech about the originality of Veteran's Day and why it is an important holiday for our nation to celebrate. The speech was remarkable. After the presentation, I congratulated Ranger Gillies and requested a copy of his speech. I intend to read it every single Veteran's Day for the rest of my life. When I emailed Cody to thank him for the speech, I relayed the experience I witnessed with the Vietnam veteran and let him know how touching the scene was. I told Cody, for all we know, that was the very first time that soldier was thanked for his service.</p>
<p>Cody Gillies has a year and a half left of law school. He's going to be a remarkable lawyer. I am so grateful to have met him and to have witnessed his thoughtful Veteran's Day presentation.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Susan</p>
Staff
2011-11-18T22:35:00Z
Male Perspective of Being Sexually Abused
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Male-Perspective-of-Being-Sexually-Abused/-510082216459547222.html
2011-11-17T23:10:00Z
2011-11-17T23:10:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>I just listened to your caller Roxine who had been sexually abused by her Grandfather and I cringed. Everything she said was true about being a victim. Roxine put into words things I could not say. Being sexually abused as a child has devastating affects on your entire life, for as long as you live it's never in the background, there is always something that is said or happens that brings it to the surface.</p>
<p>My brother, sister and I where all sexually abused by a stepfather. We were also physically and emotionally abused. It started when I was about 6 ½ and ended when I was about 12 ½ when my mother caught my stepfather with my sister. My mother never got rid of my stepfather until many years after we had grown up and left the house in fact she had 2 other children with him, my two younger sisters. The emotional and physical abused continued.</p>
<p>I am now 66 years old and have never married. It took me many years to be able to have any kind of relationship with other men - I did not trust them. I have always dreamed of having a wife and children but it never happened. I've had many girlfriends, but just couldn't bring myself to marry. I was planning on getting married at one time but broke off the relationship. I suppose I did not have full trust in women as well.</p>
<p>What Roxine did not mentioned, and wouldn't have since she is a female, is the effect of being sexually abused when you are male. I could never tell anyone I had been sexually abused because of what they may think about me as a person, even though I was the victim.</p>
<p>My relationship with children was greatly affected. I could not get close to children as an uncle or just as a friend. You see for years I have heard "if a boy has been molested than more than likely they will become a molester". I have never, and do not every wish to sexually abuse a child. I shied away from being close to children or being alone with a child, lest someone think I would molest them. I was the victim but in my mind I became the suspect. It's different with a girl being sexually abused by a man than it is for a boy being sexually abused by a man. The horror is still there but the affects are different.</p>
<p>My family rarely speaks of the molestation. My sister sometimes will bring it up however my brother and I do not feel conformable talking about it and try to change the subject.</p>
<p>Sincerely,<br /><br />Please do not use my name if you print this e-mail.</p>
Staff
2011-11-17T23:10:00Z
Veterans and College
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Veterans-and-College/-706253802999556928.html
2011-11-17T23:08:00Z
2011-11-17T23:08:00Z
<p>I am so sorry I did not hear your opening commentary from November 15th until your show was over. I started this website <a href="http://collegecounseling4veterans.com" target="_blank">collegecounseling4veterans.com</a> to help Veterans with college. The site has articles, links to needed sites, and as a college counselor I offer assistance for free to Veterans. I am also a volunteer at the WLA VA working with the Vocational Rehabilitation Counselor helping to get the Iraq and Afghanistan Vets jobs and I am also with the Jewish War Veterans Department of California serving as the Deputy Chief of Staff.</p>
<p>Michelle</p>
Staff
2011-11-17T23:08:00Z
Living at Home
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Living-at-Home/-964594426405793322.html
2011-11-16T22:44:00Z
2011-11-16T22:44:00Z
<p>After college, I had the opportunity to take a job in my hometown. The pay was so low, I would have to live at home. My mother said "No". She said if I didn't break out of my comfort zone and spread my wings at that time, I never would. A couple of weeks later, I got another opportunity in much larger city. I am so grateful for the "tough love" from my parents which pushed me to keep looking and launched a wonderful career in a profession I love.</p>
<p>Contrary to that: my ex-in-laws harbor their oldest son (he's pushing 50). They lost everything in the real estate collapse and only live off social security... and their grown son lives with them, does not work (he owes 30K in back child support) and doesn't even do chores. Their financial condition is such they may go on food stamps. It infuriates me, so I limit contact will all involved. They've made excuses for him all of his life and continue to do so to their detriment, and that of my child (their grandchild). I can't imagine a grandparent willing to tolerate and fully support a capable adult child who won't work, making them financially unable to drive to see their grandchildren.<br /><br />E.</p>
Staff
2011-11-16T22:44:00Z
Children as Political Tools
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Children-as-Political-Tools/-816374940137970231.html
2011-11-16T22:35:00Z
2011-11-16T22:35:00Z
<p>Our school district is having financial troubles, requiring the consideration of school closures. Some parents are choosing to use their kids as political tools with the school district, or to dump their own fears of change onto their child.<br /><br />It's not a new tactic. <br /><br />Here's my response:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.voiceofsandiego.org/letters/article_ff7b2e86-0bf5-11e1-9c5a-001cc4c002e0.html" target="_blank">http://www.voiceofsandiego.org/letters/article_ff7b2e86-0bf5-11e1-9c5a-001cc4c002e0.html<br /></a><br />Paul</p>
Staff
2011-11-16T22:35:00Z
I Owe You a Huge Apology
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Owe-You-a-Huge-Apology/852080797464000575.html
2011-11-16T00:03:00Z
2011-11-16T00:03:00Z
<p>I listened to you faithfully for all the years I was a stay-at home mom raising my daughter. However, I always felt that you were unsympathetic and insensitive to the struggles of adults who were victims of child abuse. I guess I was so sensitive because of my own history of being a child victim, I was not ready to take in your message of empowerment and healing through strength.</p>
<p>My Story: My step-grandfather was a classic pedophile. His choice of victim: girls under the age of 12. Because I was a family member I was an easy target. I suffered for years as a victim of child rape. Dr. Laura, lots of people knew. My injuries were so severe I often would require emergency room treatment after an over-night visit with Grandma and Grandpa. The ER docs knew about me, my parents knew about me (coming home in the middle of the night hemorrhaging vaginally and needing medical care clued them in), aunts knew, uncles knew, I even told my mother's best friend because I really liked her and thought she would save me. She didn't. No one did. I only learned of other victims when the monster died and I was at Shiva. Women who had lived in the neighborhood as children came just because they wanted to be sure he was dead. We started to talk and our stories were eerily similar.</p>
<p>I did some things right raising my daughter. I lived 800 miles away from my bio family and never visited my grandparents when I saw my parents. My daughter never was in my grandparents' presence. I was a pretty good mom, thanks to you and some amazing psychotherapy. I couldn't save my marriage though. I was too damaged for the intimacy a man needs. It was too much to over come.</p>
<p>In the present, I am no longer a victim. I am thriving and so is my daughter. She graduates in the spring with a double degree in mathematics and physics and is entering a PhD program in the fall for physics. I'm back in the workforce finally using my M.S degrees in biochemistry and toxicology. I do cancer research. I love it. My daughter is a young woman I am truly proud to have stayed home and raised to adulthood. She has a fine moral compass and is a decent human being: More important than her physics gifts in my opinion.</p>
<p>Notice I use the term child victim and not the politically correct term "survivor". As a child I was a victim. As an adult I am doing so much more than just "surviving". The term "survivor" is really an insult. I am thriving. I now understand your teachings all those years about being a permanent victim. It was said out of love and compassion. Not out of ridicule and insensitivity.</p>
<p>Again I'm sorry.</p>
<p>R.</p>
Staff
2011-11-16T00:03:00Z
I'm One of the 20%
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Im-One-of-the-20/-956809196452453395.html
2011-11-16T00:02:00Z
2011-11-16T00:02:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I'm proud to say that I am in the 20% of people who do NOT stand by. I have had 2 opportunities to intervene when I saw children being physically abused. One was a mother beating her 6 year old child for picking up a ball...he wasn't throwing it, kicking it, knocking stuff off the shelves (I work retail). I could hear her from the back of the store and went to her and told her not to strike that child again or I would call the police. She started to argue with me. I said "He's just a little boy". She called my corporate office and my boss came in to reprimand me. I told my boss if she expected me to sit back and just watch that, she may as well go ahead and fire me, because I would always step in to protect a child.</p>
<p>The 2nd time I came upon a mother beating her 9 year old boy with a stick. It was the most sickening noise, because I heard them before I saw them. I told her to stop it, and called 911 on my cell phone. She actually told me "He came out of my body, and I can do anything I want with him." I told her "Shame on you. God gave this child to you". She ended up being arrested and I had to go to court to testify against her. Part of her defense was "who was I to be sticking my nose in her business." I am a mandated reporter (as is Joe Paterno) and I told her I would never stand by. The judge thanked me and said that he wished more people would step in to help a child in distress.</p>
<p>Where do I get my nerve to do this you might ask? I'm not very big, or very young, or very strong. But I was a child who was beaten. I always prayed someone would rescue me. Now I am the rescuer. And I promise you, if I had witnessed Jerry Sandusky abusing that poor boy, I would not have walked away. I would have kicked his butt, and rendered him unable for that part of his anatomy to EVER function again.</p>
<p>J.</p>
Staff
2011-11-16T00:02:00Z
Not Turning Our Backs on Child Abuse!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Not-Turning-Our-Backs-on-Child-Abuse!/935153265537431185.html
2011-11-14T23:56:00Z
2011-11-14T23:56:00Z
<p><br />Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I believe I could write a book on this subject! In the interest of time, I have greatly condensed our story, so I apologize if some of it seems unclear. We have had first-hand experience with people who deny and turn the other way on victims of child abuse. My niece, who is now in my husband's and my custody, was physically, emotionally and sexually abused by her dad (my brother). After turning to my mother and sister for support and help in making sense of all of this, my husband and I were completely blind sided by not only their denial their granddaughter/niece was being abused, but they went so far as to side with the sick abusive bastard, and write defamatory lies in court documents about my husband and me to prevent us from getting custody of my niece. (Fortunately, we ended up getting custody!) We later learned not only did my mother (the grandmother) witness the abuse and do nothing, but my niece's mother (my sister-in-law) would stand by and watch my niece being beaten with a belt among other horrific acts. When my niece told her mom about the sexual abuse, her mother scoffed at her. Further, my sister and brother-in-law believe since they didn't see the abuse, it didn't happen. We have since cut off all communication with them for obvious reasons. My brother, the abuser, was never prosecuted for his crimes and has since fled the country.</p>
<p>Despite all of this, my husband and I have stood firmly on our moral grounds and believe it is our duty to protect an innocent child. My niece has been in therapy for the past year and a half, and with the help of an amazing trauma therapist, we are making great strides in her recovery. This has been the hardest, most challenging period of our lives - from the loss of family members, to attacks on us by our own family, to now raising a child who is emotionally crippled and behaviorally challenged from the years of abuse and suffers with learning disabilities. Everyday is a challenge, but I hold firmly onto the belief doing the right thing is usually the hardest thing. I know my niece will be helped through God's power and love.</p>
<p>Thank you for taking the time to bring this to light on your program. We also thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your commitment to doing the right thing, for protecting innocent children, and for your encouraging words to those of us who are trying to do the same.</p>
<p>God bless,</p>
<p>D.</p>
Staff
2011-11-14T23:56:00Z
Evil Absolved
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Evil-Absolved/466331167964117146.html
2011-11-14T23:54:00Z
2011-11-14T23:54:00Z
<p>I wasn't raised Catholic, but my mother's ex-husband was. As a Catholic he learned one thing, when caught in an evil act, confess to a priest and he will absolve you of guilt.</p>
<p>"My" sperm donor left my mother for his secretary when I was 3. My mother, feeling rejected, was swept off her feet by a child predator. This man saw my picture on her desk and said, "I'm going to marry you!" I'm convinced he only chose her because of me. Why? He started fondling me the FIRST time I met him. He came to pick my mother up on a date and she let me sit on his lap. While she was watching, he began drawing me a picture. Satisfied, she left to finish fixing her hair and my hell began. I was 4. They married when I was 5.</p>
<p>Fast forward to when I turned 14. I had strep, and was at home from school watching Phil Donahue. A woman came on the program talking about sexual abuse. Until then I had NO IDEA what was going on, for I was initially told, "This is what daddies do," which eventually turned into threats on my life (with a gun), the life of my mother and my half sister, being told, "You better not tell, cause if you do, no one will believe you." How true that turned out to be. This woman on Donahue said, "Tell someone you trust." I first told my closest friend, who encouraged me to tell the school counselor. I saw that counselor 3 times, but could not work up the courage to tell, for fear I would not be believed. Instead, I told my mother. I should have known she would do nothing, since she saw one night, and closed the door, but initially she told me I could live with my grandparents. This was not to be. EVERYONE in my family knew, and NO ONE did anything.</p>
<p>Her now ex went to a priest, received absolution, and according to them, everything was "fine." After spending two weeks with my grandparents, I was brought back to their house and was made to sit in THEIR bedroom, facing this pervert while being told that I needed to forgive and forget. That he had received absolution, and did I have any questions for him? I was terrified and said nothing. That night I began dragging my dresser in front of my bedroom door. The abuse (sexual and other) stopped, however the verbal continued, and he fixed a way to watch me take showers.</p>
<p>When I was a senior, I went on my first date with a guy who worked with him. We went to a movie and then out for pie. While at the restaurant, the kid said, "You're a real nice girl." I said, "Thank you." He said, "Yeah, you know, your dad said I should rape you because he thinks you're frigid, but I'm not gonna." I excused myself and went to the bathroom and vomited. Called home and asked my mother to come get me, she refused. There was only ONE TIME I saw him after getting married. It was my grandmother's 75th birthday party. He suggested to everyone I get on the table and strip while we waited for our food. My husband nearly took his head off.</p>
<p>PERVERTS NEVER CHANGE! Divorced mothers should stay that way. PLEASE LISTEN TO DR LAURA!</p>
Staff
2011-11-14T23:54:00Z
Lived in the Crevices of My Mind Where No One Could Hurt Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lived-in-the-Crevices-of-My-Mind-Where-No-One-Could-Hurt-Me/174230202040095502.html
2011-11-12T00:02:00Z
2011-11-12T00:02:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am my kids' mom, I am my husband's wife, and I WAS abused as a child. My sperm donor and my Mother divorced when I was only months old. I didn't know my sperm donor, he wasn't interested, and he chose a different family. I was neglected by my Mother who worked several jobs to support us. I was abused sexually and physically abused by my Mother's shacked up lover.</p>
<p>I remember being such a little kid, and staring at myself in the mirror and telling myself he couldn't hurt me, my body wasn't me. I had a little sister and she loved her Daddy and he didn't hurt her, so how could I take him away from her, when I knew my Daddy never wanted me. I felt strong and in control when I wandered into the crevices of my mind where no one could hurt me. I was such a lost child… sentenced to a childhood of torture, abuse, abandonment and neglect, conditioned by a man who used violence and threats to make me submit. I didn't know how to speak up or tell. I was scared of the reactions. I was conditioned to be his toy.</p>
<p>I still find it hard to forgive myself, to not feel responsibility. My survival depended on me protecting myself and I only retreated to my mind, my only safe haven. So many Whys?? So many excuses on why I remained silent. Why didn't I protect myself? I tolerated abuse for about 12 years, before I finally talked, and that was a tough road, almost harder.</p>
<p>And despite it all, I now look in the mirror and see what I have become. I am my kids' mom, I am my husband's wife, I am a person who I should be proud of. I am proud of my marriage to a decent man, a real man, and I am proud of the mother I have become. I have two beautiful daughters, who often times remind me of my past and how I want so bad to protect them and not let them out of my sight.</p>
<p>I struggle sometimes, and I hate that the abuse still seeps from my memory. I hate that the abuse even stunts my children's growth, I find it hard not be scared. I want my girls to be safe, I NEED to protect them, I couldn't live through that again.</p>
<p>I was introduced to you, Dr. Laura, after my abuse. I think you have helped me tremendously and probably saved my life.</p>
<p>Thank You. Thank you for letting me share and for assisting me in having a life.</p>
<p>My kids' mom, my husband's wife</p>
<p> </p>
Staff
2011-11-12T00:02:00Z
Child Abuse: It's Awful, Painful, Shameful and More
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Child-Abuse:-Its-Awful,-Painful,-Shameful-and-More/279948300703583622.html
2011-11-12T00:01:00Z
2011-11-12T00:01:00Z
<p>If you haven't been through it, there is no way to describe it. It's awful, it's painful, it's shameful - I can't think of enough "ful" words.</p>
<p>For me, it was my father - yes, my biological father, who is now known only as "my sperm donor". It started when I was 11, just developing. My father was in the Navy and had been away most of my life. I was starting to develop, and suddenly there was a stranger living in the house. It started with bribes and just got more blatant as time went on. It lasted 3 years.</p>
<p>One day, I saw a movie in sex-ed on molestation. Afterward I went to the teacher and said how gross that was with a stranger, but it's ok if it's your dad, right? Luckily, she called the police. My father was arrested, forced to quit the Navy (he was given an honorable discharge!), and I became a ward of the state. Eventually, my mother sided with my father and told me it would have been fine if I had just come to her. Turns out she knew all along! I had to go to court and I had a judge ask me "How could you let this happen?" This was back in 1969. I know much has changed since that time, but we have GOT to learn that the kids ARE NOT AT FAULT!!!</p>
<p>I had sadness for years, knowing I had nobody to depend on (no mother, no father); and I carried the feeling I would never amount to anything. I married a man when I was 18, basically my father - another abuser. Two kids later, I started learning I was ok and needed to correct my mistake. Yes, I chose poorly. My kids turned out to be great adults.</p>
<p>Nine years ago, I met and married the best man on the planet. Sometimes horror stories do turn out well. Dr. Laura, please keep preaching we need to do the right thing! Parents need to be parents, and kids need to be kids. Maybe someday society will learn that. We need to protect our children, not defile them. We need to prosecute the defilers, NOT protect them. Thanks so much for listening.</p>
<p>D., my husband's girlfriend! <br />And Loving it!!!</p>
Staff
2011-11-12T00:01:00Z
Paying Attention to my Husband Changed Our Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Paying-Attention-to-my-Husband-Changed-Our-Marriage/721832160898625829.html
2011-11-11T00:43:00Z
2011-11-11T00:43:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Your caller has inspired me to write this email to you. She mentioned her husband was been having an emotional affair with his co-worker.</p>
<p>Four years ago, I too experienced that. I was running two restaurants, putting in crazy hours to bring home the money for "our" future. Meanwhile, my husband met a person and was seeing her while I was working, talking to her and texting her. When I found out what he was doing, I was so upset and felt so betrayed. All I wanted was a divorce...after all, I was working so hard for our future.</p>
<p>After realizing I had been neglecting him, this is what changed me from wanting to get divorce to wanting to stay married to him...a daily devotion of thankfulness I started making a list of 5 things he was doing I was thankful for. It was just simple things such as how he acknowledged me as I walked into the room, how he threw out the trash, how he washed the dishes, etc... And whether he listened to me or not, I would read it out loud at the end of the night to him.</p>
<p>Soon, I was thankful for the smallest things that he did and in return, he wanted to do more things for me so I would recognize his work.</p>
<p>Now four years later, as we celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary, I am so thankful we are still married. We now have a beautiful 2 year old and another daughter on our way. I hope all wives take a moment to thank their husbands for the small things they do. I am sure their husbands will want to do more for them.</p>
<p>J.</p>
Staff
2011-11-11T00:43:00Z
With Help We Will Endure and Be Stronger
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/With-Help-We-Will-Endure-and-Be-Stronger/68879695799333151.html
2011-11-11T00:41:00Z
2011-11-11T00:41:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I've been listening to you for years and consider you one of my chief advisers for having a good marriage and raising our children. We recently had to remove our 21 year old son from our home due to years of lying, stealing, and drug use. In the middle of all this, we were holding vigil waiting for my father to pass. I believe your advice over the years has prepared me for this difficult time and given me the courage and understanding to take the steps necessary and still keep my sanity. My wife and I could have easily been torn apart by this, but with the help of our faith, church, family and you, we will endure and come out stronger.</p>
<p>I implore you to never give up your ministry. There will always be detractors and haters out there trying to take shots at you. I no longer hesitate to jump into the fray and defend you. I have your back. I'm sure there are millions of people who have been positively affected by you.</p>
<p>My wife and I recently celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary and I believe you are a large part of this. More things are desperately needed in this day and age to strengthen marriages.</p>
<p>God Bless</p>
<p>R.</p>
Staff
2011-11-11T00:41:00Z
Lucky to Have a Wife Like You
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lucky-to-Have-a-Wife-Like-You/-675185441388507406.html
2011-11-09T23:54:00Z
2011-11-09T23:54:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>My husband is in the military and is only allowed to write me letters and call maybe once every two weeks. Even though I am so proud of him and his service I started feeling a little disconnected, lonely, and resentful, but then I read your book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". <br /><br />I got to go see my husband for a weekend and I became his girlfriend with way more benefits. I just received a letter from him (the first one I've gotten since our weekend together) and it said "I had such a good time this past weekend. I love you. I still can't believe how I got so lucky in this world to have a wife like you. You are the sexiest woman in the whole world. THE WAY YOU LOVE, MAKES ME WORK HARDER TO BE A BETTER MAN TO YOU." Sounds like something right out of your book! So instead of resenting him for his job and being away, I started treating him like the REAL MAN he is...he is my provider and, not only my protector, but part of this Country's.</p>
<p>Thank you for all you do.</p>
<p>C.</p>
Staff
2011-11-09T23:54:00Z
Male Victims of Domestic Violence
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Male-Victims-of-Domestic-Violence/-943278665275168816.html
2011-11-09T23:52:00Z
2011-11-09T23:52:00Z
<p>I really appreciated your show about male victims of domestic violence. This is a problem not many in the domestic violence industry want to admit exists. They try to pass this off as a gender specific issue. It is not. There are many men suffering in silence. Vice president Joe Biden was on The View recently talking about teen violence against girls. What he failed to mention was, according to the last census bureau, more boys reported being hit by their girlfriends than vice-versa. I guess he didn't think that would be popular on The View. This week I saw three sitcom promos of women kicking and/or punching men in the face followed by laughter. If you switched the genders, no one would have laughed. So thank you for bringing serious attention to this problem few, if anyone else, takes seriously.</p>
<p>J</p>
Staff
2011-11-09T23:52:00Z
Addiction from a Spouse's Perspective
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Addiction-from-a-Spouses-Perspective/582600212470828416.html
2011-11-08T23:14:00Z
2011-11-08T23:14:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I want to thank you for sharing my blog about <a href="/b/My-Journey-with-My-Addicted-16-Year-Old/-188817843885924228.html">My Journey with My Addicted 16 Year Old</a> with others. And I want to share a comment I received from a fellow Dr. Laura fan. It read:</p>
<p>"I found your blog through your 1st post that was highlighted in Dr. Laura's daily email. I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for being such a strong mother and for facing head on, the soul-sucking monster that is addiction. Perhaps, if my husband's mother or step-mother had been as strong and as determined as you to wrestle their son back from the brink, he wouldn't have had to go through the last 13 years of his life in and out of the clutches of chemicals and haze. Perhaps he would have chosen to begin - to really begin - taking control of his own destiny as a teenager or as a young man, rather than waiting to make the decision to get clean only after 2 DUI total wrecks including one with our infant son in the car (both, blessedly and thankfully were okay post crash). Perhaps he would have learned, back then, he was worth it and most of all, his life has worth. I am so thankful my son is safe and my husband is, for today at least, sober. I can only imagine the kind of man he would be today if he would have had a mother willing to fight for him as you are fighting for your son. So, from the point of view of a wife who has married someone who didn't have a lioness for a mother, thank you for doing all you are doing to ensure your son's future family has the man they deserve in their life. You are right, there is hope and I am inspired by you." - By Anonymous posted on Almost Like Old Times on 10/28/11</p>
<p>My goodness...by sharing the way my mother bear instincts are coming back to life, I am gaining strength from strangers, and they are gaining strength from me.</p>
<p>Thank you, Dr. Laura, for the strength you didn't even know you were pumping into my little village.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>J.<br /><a href="http://majormomma.blogspot.com" target="_blank">majormomma.blogspot.com</a></p>
Staff
2011-11-08T23:14:00Z
My Family Paid the Price
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Family-Paid-the-Price/-331482193829291880.html
2011-11-08T23:12:00Z
2011-11-08T23:12:00Z
<p>I have been listening to your show for quite a while. Recently it has been religiously. I have two children, a 14 month old and an eight-year-old.</p>
<p>For the past year I have been working part time for additional income for our household. Thanks to you, I realized how much it was hurting our family for me to be away from home and not being 100% a wife, mother, lover and caretaker. I have been having a really hard time trying to juggle too much and it has kept me from being my husband's girlfriend and my kids' mom.</p>
<p>My husband came to me last Saturday (after a particularly stressful week) and asked I put my two weeks in at my job. I found it amazing that almost instantaneously I had the biggest weight off of my shoulders. I also find it awesome how unbelievably appealing my husband has been to me ever since he took back his role and asked that I do the same for myself! Yay! I now have the energy to do everything I should be doing for my husband and daughters.</p>
<p>Thank you for your insight!!</p>
<p>Megan</p>
Staff
2011-11-08T23:12:00Z
A 'Healthier' Version of the Apples Poem
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Healthier-Version-of-the-Apples-Poem/125022081560917441.html
2011-11-07T23:42:00Z
2011-11-07T23:42:00Z
<p>I love the <a href="http://drlaura.com/b/A-Girls-Worth/-375870787179435537.html">Apples Poem</a> and I've heard it many times before, but the line "the apples at the top think something is wrong with them" always bothered me. Not all of us quality girls think something is wrong with us. So I rewrote it and made a "healthier" version. Hope you like it:</p>
<p>"Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't reach for the good ones because they don't want to climb that high and they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they settle for the rotten apples on the ground, which aren't as good, but easy to get. They don't realize that with every step they climb, not only do they get stronger but the apples get more and more delicious. The apples at the top are well aware of how special they are. They have a strong core and they have decided to reach their full potential before being picked. So they hang on, soaking up the sun and improving themselves. At last, the men who are brave and determined enough to reach the very top of the tree are rewarded with the biggest, juiciest, and most delicious apples."<br /><br /><br />Cheryl</p>
Staff
2011-11-07T23:42:00Z
Doggy Messes in Houses More Common Than You'd Think
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Doggy-Messes-in-Houses-More-Common-Than-Youd-Think/52948286683911100.html
2011-11-07T23:40:00Z
2011-11-07T23:40:00Z
<p>Hi, Dr. Laura.</p>
<p>We listen to you on Sirius while working. We had an uproar of laughter and shaking of heads when you played (and replayed) the call about doggy poo and pee in a caller's mother's house. Sorry to say, Dr. Laura, this is more common than you would think.</p>
<p>Just wanted to let you know we own a large house cleaning company and we are met with this dilemma weekly if not sometime daily: Uphold our policy on houses with feces and urination (usually dog). The same customers ALWAYS have piles and puddles throughout their high-end houses. We wonder often if these people/families are dysfunctional. They obviously go to work every day and are functional there. We conclude it is neglect of their family pet and usually their kids. It makes our staff sad. So is neglect a "mental-illness"? I'm sure not but maybe you can explain these people.</p>
<p>Don</p>
Staff
2011-11-07T23:40:00Z
Distress in My Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Distress-in-My-Marriage/-761729022084350655.html
2011-11-04T21:06:00Z
2011-11-04T21:06:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>When I was younger, I remember my Mom listening to your show in the car when she would drive from here to there. Your advice always stuck with me. Fast forward many years I am now the Mom driving the child around.</p>
<p>I recently went to a book sale and found a copy of your book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." I flipped through it, and decided to purchase it since I wasn't feeling particularly content with my relationship with my husband of 5 years. We had been having some problems for quite sometime, and I was a bit concerned about our future if after only 5 years we were already not happy. I started reading your book as soon as I got home. I finished it in two days because I felt you speaking to me through your words and stories. Your book was a wake up call for me, and made me see how I was putting all the blame on my husband instead of taking responsibility for my part in the distress in our marriage. I am a stay at home mom, and reading your book made me appreciate how FORTUNATE I am to have a husband who works long hours to allow me to do so, and be here for our four year old son. In a nut shell, your words opened my eyes. I immediately put into action your suggestions, and with in days, my husband started acting happier, which in turn made me happy.</p>
<p>I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and I wanted to extend my deepest thanks to you. It is no accident I wandered into that book sale that day, and decided to give your book a try. I truly believe God led me to it to help me see the error of my ways. My marriage will be eternally grateful. Thank you again, Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Julia</p>
Staff
2011-11-04T21:06:00Z
Grandpa, We Want to 'Help'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Grandpa,-We-Want-to-Help/-790124138318024924.html
2011-11-04T21:03:00Z
2011-11-04T21:03:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura</p>
<p>This is not the typical type of letter you normally receive. I would like to share with you a moment I had the other day with my granddaughters (aged 6 & 7.)</p>
<p>I was digging postholes to put a fence around my backyard and they wanted to 'help.' I gave them each a small shovel and they 'helped' by scattering my dirt pile I had from the post hole and digging around in the loose dirt. When I finished the post hole I told them I would be right back and went to get my level so I could plumb the post. When I got back they had the hole almost full of dirt! "Grandpa! We're helping you fill up your hole!" they exclaimed. Now how could I be angry about that? I and my family are still laughing about it!</p>
<p>Just a happy note to (hopefully) brighten you day.</p>
<p>Yes, I am my wife's hubby (37 years), my kids' dad, and my grandkids' grandpa. Now I'm going to go do the right thing!</p>
<p>Frank</p>
Staff
2011-11-04T21:03:00Z
Strength
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Strength/-338504778548922568.html
2011-11-03T15:50:00Z
2011-11-03T15:50:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am a male 55 years old. I just wanted to let you know that your response and healing that you <a href="http://drlaura.com/pg/jsp/charts/audioMaster.jsp?dispid=306&pid=85538">gave to Lindsey</a> was outstanding therapy. Being a type A personality when it comes to righting a wrong I so had the desire to want to kick some rapist's butt. When your work can make a 6'2" 220 lbs. man tear up, you women are not only doing your job, but really making a difference in the world. At least you are in mine. Thank goodness I also have a type B side I received from my very loving mother.</p>
<p>After the week my wife and I have had, finding out my brother in law has stage IV bladder Cancer and then having to put my 16 1/2 year old Siamese cat down, I just wanted to thank you for all you do. It inspires me to suck it up, keep going in life, be the best husband, brother in law, son in law and son to my soon to be 90 year old father that I can be.</p>
<p>I only wish I had been listening to you in 1992 when I found out my ex-wife was cheating on me after 18 years of marriage. I did get counseling even though my ex wouldn't go with me and it became clear leaving was the right thing to do. Thank God there were no children involved as it freed me up to meet a very beautiful women inside as well as out and one who was closer to my way of thinking. i.e. Religion, morals, family first. We will be celebrating our 18th anniversary next year and I so look forward to beating my old record of marriage.</p>
<p>God bless you and keep up the good work,</p>
<p>Daryl</p>
Staff
2011-11-03T15:50:00Z
Honor From Tragedy
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Honor-From-Tragedy/-291718194887513388.html
2011-11-03T15:48:00Z
2011-11-03T15:48:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I suspect that <a href="http://drlaura.com/pg/jsp/charts/audioMaster.jsp?dispid=306&pid=85538">Lindsay's husband</a> is attracted to the strength she has developed from her experience (rape) at 17. (the strength is a natural result of Lindsay dealing with the hardship, tragedy, going on with life, etc, and her husband is picking up on it)</p>
<p>He may not realize where it came from, he just knows he likes it, and she may not realize she has developed the strength, (the flower changed color, something horrible made her better) - There is honor here between these two people.</p>
<p>D.</p>
Staff
2011-11-03T15:48:00Z
Young Boys Hiding Erections
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Young-Boys-Hiding-Erections/-634726151071057814.html
2011-11-02T22:17:00Z
2011-11-02T22:17:00Z
<p>I was fortunate enough to hear the original call of the woman whose son was blissfully unaware when he was sporting an obvious erection. My teenage son and I were rolling in laughter because you didn't understand the problem.</p>
<p>Then I heard <a href="http://drlaura.com/b/Hiding-Wood/36895175471102166.html">Peter's list of ways to hide an erection </a>which brought back memories. In middle school, way back in the day when kids still dressed nicely for school, the female teachers were always getting on to us boys for not having our shirts tucked in. It always irritated me the female teachers didn't have a clue why we'd pull our shirttails out in the first place. The male teachers never cared!</p>
<p>Seriously, when a teacher would call you up to the chalkboard, and the first thing you did as you were getting out of your seat was to pull your shirttail out and put one hand into your pants pocket, the teacher should have known it wasn't a fashion statement!</p>
<p>David</p>
Staff
2011-11-02T22:17:00Z
Hiding 'Wood' Cracked Me Up!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Hiding-Wood-Cracked-Me-Up!/-863277409181946618.html
2011-11-02T22:11:00Z
2011-11-02T22:11:00Z
<p>I was sitting with my married adult son and a couple of his friends having this same discussion and like you, at first, I did not know what they were talking about. When I learned what they were talking about, I simply said this is why I wear long pants, socks and shoes instead of shorts and sandals. They stared at me and I said, "I tuck mine into my socks." The laughter among the men was exhaustive. You can <a href="http://drlaura.com/b/Hiding-Wood/36895175471102166.html">add that one to the list</a>.</p>
<p>I love your show. I am married to my high school sweetheart, am a father of three, and a grandfather of seven. We are a fortunate family, but listening to you over many years has made me a better husband, father and grandfather. An example: you have helped me to know and consistently stand firmly upon a clear definition of terminology.</p>
<p>Finally, and unfortunately, I think you are correct about the institution of marriage struggling; we can hope it will rebound. I know of nothing else more important. My perspective is this: those who earnestly and selflessly pray together will stay together.</p>
<p>Sincerely,<br /> <br />Lonnie</p>
Staff
2011-11-02T22:11:00Z
Adjusting to Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Adjusting-to-Marriage/-367216466863586798.html
2011-11-01T22:05:00Z
2011-11-01T22:05:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have recently become a big fan of yours. I got married in April and as a wedding gift my friend got me your book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. I instantly fell in love with your opinions, advice, and counsel, in addition to your straightforward writing style. You were a breath of fresh air in a world of decreasing in moral values and a great way to start off my marriage.</p>
<p>I found the adjustment to marriage difficult. Only because I was a selfish 24 year old, I think. I married a wonderful man who is extremely loyal, hardworking, and selfless. Once I started reading your book it was as if my eyes were opened. There were things I knew and felt true within me that I didn't know I knew. My husband noticed a change as well. I wouldn't say I was horrible or anything to him before I read your book, but after reading it I realized how I would sometimes try and manipulate with hurt feelings, the double standard you talked about, and the evil lying within the feminist movement.</p>
<p>It's very interesting actually because one of my "good friends" who I've become quite distant with advised me not to read your book because you were oppressive to women. Needless to say I did and I am happily married, loving being a wife and she is still confused and stupid as ever.</p>
<p>For my birthday this month I gave my husband a list of books I wanted, most of which were by you. I am now reading the Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage and love it as well.</p>
<p>I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart how much I love and appreciate your honest and sincere literature. It must not be easy being in the public eye all the time but thank you for taking a "hit for us" so we can have deeper and more fulfilling homes and marriages.</p>
<p>A.</p>
Staff
2011-11-01T22:05:00Z
Thoughts on Having a Successful Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Thoughts-on-Having-a-Successful-Life/-333828793050197310.html
2011-11-01T21:59:00Z
2011-11-01T21:59:00Z
<p>I've been listening to your program fairly regularly for the last couple of years as I drive to pick up my grandchildren from school.</p>
<p>I agree with many of your outlooks on life, but particularly those pertaining to children and marriage. My husband and I married a month after high school graduation. (Only 1 of our 4 parents graduated from high school and his parents divorced when he was 12.) We became parents at ages 18 and 21. We lived within our meager means early on and without financial support of the government or our parents who felt if we were old enough to be married, we were old enough to take care of ourselves. We started college part-time when we were 20, alternating our schedules so that we needed as little child-care as possible.</p>
<p>Fast forward 38 years and we find ourselves with a fabulous life. Among our family of 4 and our two in-law children, there are 2 MD's and 2 MBA's, 1 Ph.d, and 1 M.ed (me). We also have 5 'perfect' grandchildren who are the light of our lives.</p>
<p>Some of the secrets to our success?</p>
<p>Delayed gratification for consumer goods, a commitment to making our home the best place we've been all day, home-cooked dinner together nearly every night, and a rule that whoever cares the most gets to decide and whoever likes it the most gets to eat the last piece.</p>
<p>I've recently read a couple of things that resonate strongly with me: The grass is not always greener on the other side, but it's greener where it's watered (paraphrased from Nicholas Sparks) and when you are parents and divorce, you are asking your children to adjust when you yourself have not been able to (Rev. Rick Sams).</p>
<p>I realize that my husband and I have bucked many statistics, but I think it's important for people to know that if we could do it, they can do it too.</p>
<p>T.</p>
Staff
2011-11-01T21:59:00Z
A Girl's Worth
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Girls-Worth/-375870787179435537.html
2011-10-31T21:35:00Z
2011-10-31T21:35:00Z
<p>Here's a Facebook post a friend of mine shared and I immediately had to re-post it. It's actually written in a cute tree shape poem, green at the top and brown at the trunk. I'm turning this into a giant poster and hanging it in my daughter's room. She's only 3 now, but she sure is worth the world. I'm hoping she'll grow up knowing her worth and wait for that special boy that knows it too! Enjoy!<br />Rosanna</p>
<p>"Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree."</p>
Staff
2011-10-31T21:35:00Z
Good Guys Are Starting to Ask, 'Why Bother.'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Good-Guys-Are-Starting-to-Ask,-Why-Bother./863130502832411122.html
2011-10-31T21:32:00Z
2011-10-31T21:32:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura.<br /><br />Regarding your opening comments about women's attraction to 'bad guys': We 'good guys' eventually become more than a little bit misogynistic when we see our 'bad' brethren basically having their way.....over and over and over again......with women, while we often become neglected, and taken for granted, in our relationships. It's always been said, "Good guys finish last," but, frankly, I think it's never been truer than it is today.<br /><br />Women who act this way do so at their own peril, in my opinion. It's becoming more and more apparent that ALL guys are losing more and more respect for women everyday. The bad boys never viewed them as being more than sexual objects and we good guys question whether or not staying true to the traditional values and mores is even worth it anymore. Food for thought.<br /><br />Regards.<br /><br />Mark</p>
Staff
2011-10-31T21:32:00Z
On Being Fatherless
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/On-Being-Fatherless/720137672068950152.html
2011-10-28T21:24:00Z
2011-10-28T21:24:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura!</p>
<p>I just wrote this article for <a href="http://kidfocused.com/fatherless/" target="_blank">KidFocused.com</a>.</p>
<p>I've thought many times over the years if there ever is a better time for a child to have his or her home broken. Is it better for parents to split up while their child is still a baby? Is it better to wait until the child is a teenager? My parents divorced when I was 14, and I’d argue 14 was as terrible a time as any for a child to be blindsided by divorce... <a href="http://kidfocused.com/fatherless/" target="_blank">Read the rest of "Fatherless"</a></p>
<p>Listening to you over the years has helped me heal from my own childhood and my parents' painful divorce. I had you in mind as I wrote this. Thanks for all you do!</p>
<p>Julie</p>
Staff
2011-10-28T21:24:00Z
Having Someone Who Can Help
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Having-Someone-Who-Can-Help/-648882041472181430.html
2011-10-28T21:22:00Z
2011-10-28T21:22:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Listening to a recent caller who was molested by her grandfather brought me to tears and just confirmed how much I appreciate and love you. Telling her to call you anytime (instead of suppressing her emotions through eating) and that you would be her surrogate mother was so giving. I'm sure it helped her to know she has someone she can turn to for help.</p>
<p>You truly are a gift and I enjoy listening to you everyday. I need my Dr. Laura fix... I have been listening since the early 90's and you have truly helped me be a better person. I thank you for that from the bottom of my heart.</p>
<p>Also, I've noticed since you've been on SiriusXM you are much more relaxed and happy. Glad you are still here for us.</p>
<p>Debbie</p>
<p>P.S. I once sailed to Hawaii from San Francisco (1970) with a family group. We were on a 40ft Catch and it was during the Trans Pac Race too. It was one of the highlights of my life. (I was 19 and fearless.) I so enjoyed hearing your sailing stories of your recent venture. Kuddos to you for taking on the challenge. You are inspirational.</p>
Staff
2011-10-28T21:22:00Z
My Journey with My Addicted 16 Year Old
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Journey-with-My-Addicted-16-Year-Old/-188817843885924228.html
2011-10-27T21:52:00Z
2011-10-27T21:52:00Z
<p>I think I struck a parenting nerve in my community. Feel free to take a peek at my journey with my 16 year old as we struggle through addiction.</p>
<p><a href="http://majormomma.blogspot.com" target="_blank">majormomma.blogspot.com</a></p>
<p>When I began blogging, this was my first post:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">A week ago yesterday, M woke up for the first time in military school. <br /> <br />A week ago yesterday, I woke up for the first time in months, feeling a sense of relief. I didn't need to check to see if he was gone, or was up on the roof smoking, or throwing up in his bathroom, or smoking across the street at the empty house, or drinking in his room, or drinking in our basement. When I found myself awake during that first night, I didn't throw myself into a panic: Did something just wake me up? Was that a loud bang I just heard? Was that the back door closing? In fact, I found myself quite calm whenever I woke up in the middle of that first night. I believe it was similar to the quiet, peaceful, calm I felt when he was in the hospital's nursery on the evening of August 1, 1995. I knew someone more skilled than me, a first-time momma, was making sure he was getting everything he needed to thrive and survive.<br /> <br />And now on September 14, 2011, the commandant was providing me the quiet, peaceful, calm that our whole family needed so desperately. As my mind gently rippled with thoughts, I realized that we were thrown a life preserver just in time.</p>
<p><br />Sincerely,</p>
<p>J.</p>
Staff
2011-10-27T21:52:00Z
WonderWife
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/WonderWife/49026555379316823.html
2011-10-27T21:50:00Z
2011-10-27T21:50:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura:</p>
<p>I know by being a loyal listener you get loads of mail from husbands who complain about their wives and girlfriends and I want to break that barrier. I want to tell you about my wife.</p>
<p>We have been married 37 years and although we haven't had a perfect marriage, my wife has always been there for me no matter what. She is my wife, lover, girlfriend, partner, and above all my best friend. I have not always been there for her, but that never stopped her from being there for me. I can't say enough about her and will raise my praises for her to anybody. I don't know what I would do without her and hopefully will never have to find out. She is an inspiration to me and shows she loves me every day. She is never too busy or too tired to show her support and love for me. I feel like this is a one sided street sometimes and work very hard to prove to her I am worthy of her. I won't go on, but I think you see I have a very special woman and to let you know they are still out there. I have the diamond of the crop.</p>
<p>Keep up the great work and thank you for being there for the people that need the help.</p>
<p>Randy</p>
Staff
2011-10-27T21:50:00Z
Counseling before Marriage
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Counseling-before-Marriage/-510875892042918363.html
2011-10-26T19:10:00Z
2011-10-26T19:10:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura.</p>
<p>A few weeks ago you were talking about pre-marriage counseling. (Not sure when as I now download you and currently I still have 147 episodes pending...I listen when I drive, do laundry and clean. With this many episodes remaining I either have a small house or a very dirty one. HaHa!)</p>
<p>My husband and I got married in the Catholic Church and "Pre-Cana" classes were required once a week for six weeks. We were shacking up and I remember lecturing him on what NOT to say if they ask where we lived together and being completely put out by this requirement. (I'm the Catholic and he's Methodist. Yes, he apparently loved me very much to go through with all the Catholic rituals - I was the one bitching!). The married couple who led the class of approximately 6 couples did NOT ask if we were shacking up, having sex, or attending church weekly. What a relief! However, the first night they SUGGESTED if any couple was not living a moral lifestyle they should immediately abstain from any sexual relations over the next six weeks. They told us we couldn't get back the significance of what this memorable moment would be, BUT we could at least have the memories of the next six weeks of working as a couple with complete honesty, integrity, and open communication. When we left that night, I moved into our second bedroom and he remained in our "shack up" bed.</p>
<p>That first night of classes, we were also shown walnuts in a jar (signifying God, our relationship, our love, our honesty, and our family) then they poured a jar of rice into the walnut jar which represented all the "OTHER" things in life: stress, work, money etc., and the rice fit around the nuts nicely and the walnuts didn't budge. However, when we were asked to take our jars and put the rice in first then add the walnuts, there wasn't enough room for all the walnuts. Well, the message was loud and clear: "Without God, love, honesty, and family FIRST there would never be enough room if we put stress, money, lust etc., before them." It was certainly an "Ah-ha" moment and we still have the SAME jar sitting in our house.</p>
<p>This month we celebrated 20 yrs. of marriage on Oct. 19th and I PROMISE you those six weeks had more to do with our marriage than ANY thing else. And for those who are wondering if we did abstain the answer is YES and NEITHER of US will EVER forget the trail of bobbie pins, shoes, clothes and veils from the limo to the hotel room! Seriously we still talk about OUR first time and I thank the Catholic Church for the requirement of those classes as we ARE living proof of their success!</p>
<p>Joanne</p>
Staff
2011-10-26T19:10:00Z
No Veteran Should Die Alone
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/No-Veteran-Should-Die-Alone/-880364727999991400.html
2011-10-26T19:00:00Z
2011-10-26T19:00:00Z
<p>Last May, my sister and I answered an ad for volunteers to train for hospice work at the VA near our home in AZ (we had experienced the wonderful work of hospice in our mother's last weeks). After this training, I have been on the hospice ward, helping veterans of all ages, as they make their transition from this life; many just want to hold your hand, some want to talk of their lives, be read to, play cards, etc. Whatever they need, we volunteers help by being there, for them and their families...</p>
<p>Unfortunately, most donations to the VA do NOT go to help this side of things. I wanted to remind your good listeners/members that, with Veteran's Day coming up, should they wish to support the excellent work of the VA Hospice, to make donations by check CLEARLY spelled out VA HOSPICE.</p>
<p>God bless all who serve and have served.<br />Anne</p>
Staff
2011-10-26T19:00:00Z
Turning Out the Way You Were Raised
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Turning-Out-the-Way-You-Were-Raised/789161485070902880.html
2011-10-25T19:08:00Z
2011-10-25T19:08:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I can totally relate to the person who wrote the article about "<a href="/b/Raising-Well-Mannered-Children/793737476593952598.html">Raising Well Mannered Children</a>". A few years ago I was in a nail salon waiting to get my nails done. While I was waiting a group of young kids, ages ranging from 6-10 were taunting and teasing me, all the while their parents doing nothing about their children's rude behavior towards a stranger!</p>
<p>Now the flip side to this story, I was walking out of a toy store, Toys R Us, when a little boy no older than 6 years old was holding back his mom telling her... "Wait, Mommy. Let the lady walk through first!" I was stunned and so surprised to witness such proper manners from this little boy. I looked at his mom and I won't forget the look on her face of such joy and being so proud of her son's actions. I was so impressed I just wanted to give him a big hug and thank him for being a little gentleman!</p>
<p>It just goes to show how kids are raised from different types of parents. You do turn out the way you were raised!</p>
<p>Helen</p>
Staff
2011-10-25T19:08:00Z
'Til Death Do Us Part
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Til-Death-Do-Us-Part/446629659399169947.html
2011-10-25T19:02:00Z
2011-10-25T19:02:00Z
<p>I was moved by the story of the long-married couple who died while holding hands.</p>
<p>My parents were married 65 years. They each experienced life threatening illnesses this past Spring. My mother was in the ICU and my Dad was on another floor on the medical unit. I was there with them. There were many times the nurses would call me from the bedside of one to see the other. Most of the time, one parent would become suddenly agitated and the nurses would be perplexed. However, once I told them my mother was having a medical crisis that same day (several surgeries and procedures) or my Dad the same, the nursing staff would shake their heads with understanding. They said they had seen that kind of connected spirit with long-married couples before as though they shared one spirit.</p>
<p>My dad died first and my mom followed the love of her life 36 hours later. Although they did not have the gift of a shared room to hold hands, it was clear they shared a love that time and hospital floors could not separate.</p>
<p>Mom and Dad had their funerals side by side, holding hearts. Their love was a gift to all who knew them and their commitment to each other inspiring.</p>
<p>Vickie</p>
Staff
2011-10-25T19:02:00Z
He Was Right - I Wasn't Being His Girlfriend
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Was-Right---I-Wasnt-Being-His-Girlfriend/-758518549037492331.html
2011-10-24T08:55:00Z
2011-10-24T08:55:00Z
<p>My husband and I lived together for 6 years before we got married. This was my fault; he regularly proposed to me, but I felt the "choice" of being together was better than being "stuck" with a binding contract. But then, I started feeling strange calling him my boyfriend at our son's school functions, so I told him we were going to get married (yes, I said "told").</p>
<p>The first couple of years of marriage were very tough, and I blamed all of our troubles on him. I would not listen to anything he was saying about me neglecting him and so on. So, to prove myself right and show him all of the ways he had to change, I bought The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage audio disks. Too impatient, I began to listen to them myself so I could point out his faults while we listened together. The very first day I cried when I realized how he had been right all along! I wasn't being his girlfriend, yet I expected him to treat me as such! Most of what I was holding against him were the manly things that made me love him-DUH!</p>
<p>In a nutshell, for the past year I can say I am my husband's girlfriend; his friends are envious we are so close and in love even though we have been together for 12 years (new people we meet think we are newlyweds). Additionally, I now how have a whole new view on marriage, and premarital counseling!</p>
<p>Thanks Dr. Laura!!</p>
<p>R.</p>
Staff
2011-10-24T08:55:00Z
A Toddler's Lament
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/A-Toddlers-Lament/885482502487725725.html
2011-10-24T08:00:00Z
2011-10-24T08:00:00Z
<p><strong>A Toddler's Lament</strong></p>
<p>Mommy please stay,<br />Mommy please stay.<br />I love you Mommy,<br />Please, please STAY.</p>
<p>You know what I need, <br />You know what I feel,<br />You watch me, you hold me, you cuddle, you kiss.<br />It's you I want Mommy,<br />It's you I will miss.</p>
<p>Mommy please stay,<br />Mommy please stay.<br />These ladies are nice, but they look away.<br />They don't pay attention or hear what I say.<br />They just take one look and walk away.</p>
<p>I eat, I sleep, I run, I play.<br />But I want you Mommy for the whole day.<br />Mommy please stay, <br />Mommy please stay.<br />I love you so much. <br />Please please stay.</p>
<p><br />- Deborah</p>
Staff
2011-10-24T08:00:00Z
Reasons Some Marriages Last Forever
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Reasons-Some-Marriages-Last-Forever/-175913133760635332.html
2011-10-21T22:08:00Z
2011-10-21T22:08:00Z
<p>My husband's grandparents were married over 60 years. Being a newlywed, I asked Grandma what the secret to her happy marriage was. She said the secret is both people knowing that it can't always be YOUR way. What an eye opener for me. Such simple advice that covers a whole lot of stuff. This cherished advice has served us well...My husband and I just celebrated our 24th anniversary and we are more in love today than the day we married.</p>
<p>Also, we work at our marriage everyday. My husband's a police officer and I never let him go to work without a kiss and an "I love you". I don't hassle him about "home stuff" when he's at work so he can focus on his job. When we fight, it's a fair fight with no name calling or bringing up past issues, and it's with the intention of coming to an understanding, not to win. We speak kindly and lovingly to each other even when we don't feel kind and loving.</p>
<p>My husband lives by his motto, "Loyalty above all else except integrity" and he lives it in our marriage everyday. We trust each other completely. We are both from broken homes and agreed to not do that to our children or ourselves! We do thoughtful things for each other everyday, even if it's just him helping me get a glass down from the highest shelf in the kitchen or opening a jar. Seems small, I know, but every little kind action counts in this house.</p>
<p>Thank you Dr. Laura for all you do...if more women took your advice about how to take care of their husband, there'd be a lot more happy wives out there!<br /> <br />Terri</p>
Staff
2011-10-21T22:08:00Z
Men vs. Boys
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Men-vs.-Boys/328624098455419170.html
2011-10-21T20:00:00Z
2011-10-21T20:00:00Z
<p>Hi Dr Laura</p>
<p>As a Facebook user I see lots of feminist posts. My granddaughter's step-father (her father, my son died 7 years ago) posted this on his page. I was impressed, and wanted to share it with you. Sounds like something YOU would say!</p>
<p>Boys ask questions… Men give answers!!! <br />Boys play house… Men build homes!!! <br />Boys shack up… Men get married!!! <br />Boys make babies… Men raise children!!! <br />A boy won't raise his own children… A man will raise his and someone else's!!! <br />Boys invent excuses for failure… Men produce strategies for success!!! <br />Boys look for somebody to take care of them… Men look for someone to take care of!!! <br />Boys seek popularity… Men demand respect and know how to give it!</p>
<p>In support of the hard working family men and good fathers out there...The Real Men!!"</p>
<p>God Bless you for keeping me grounded!</p>
<p>Deb</p>
Staff
2011-10-21T20:00:00Z
Continually Challenging Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Continually-Challenging-Me/-549168027569689158.html
2011-10-20T20:00:00Z
2011-10-20T20:00:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I just wanted to take a moment to tell you how much I enjoy the way you challenge me. Like many listeners, I enjoy listening to you and considering how I would respond if the caller were asking me his/her question. I love it best when you surprise me by giving an answer that is different than what I expected you to give. Those are the answers that make me think and the answers which challenge my preconceived notions.</p>
<p>I don't always agree with what you have to say, but it is when we disagree that I find opportunities to challenge myself by asking myself why. You challenge me to be a better wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend. You remind me to focus on the joy in my life and you often remind me to stop taking myself too seriously.</p>
<p>My favorite revelation was last week when you were speaking to a caller about her slobby tendencies. You helped me look at housework in a whole new light - as an expression of love and appreciation for my family. This new perspective has helped me to find a sort of joy in the chores I dislike the most because the things I dislike the most are the things that show the most love. This is a fantastic motivator when I find myself procrastinating or failing to get the job done.</p>
<p>I can't wait to listen to you again to see how you will challenge me next. Time "with you" is time well spent.</p>
<p>Sincerely,<br />Tammy<br />Another appreciative listener</p>
Staff
2011-10-20T20:00:00Z
Excuses for 'Bad Behavior'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Excuses-for-Bad-Behavior/-539240670969483044.html
2011-10-20T19:01:00Z
2011-10-20T19:01:00Z
<p>I am 1 of 11 children. My Dad was an alcoholic. I have seen things no child should see or live through. I learned from my experience.... MY NEW MOTTO...</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>Don't Blame the Past for your Future</em></p>
<p>I often speak about my past and I am not ashamed about any of it. I am very proud of where I am today, the person I have become, and where I am going. What I experienced taught me to change and NOT REPEAT behavior. I do not ever remember my mother telling me she loved me. I tell my son each and every time I speak to him. We never yell at each other (everyone yelled when I was growing up). We have "discussions" not ever with a raised voice. As I remember it from childhood... "Yelling means something bad will happen".... I don't do it nor like it.... </p>
<p>So I pass this motto on to others: <em>Don't Blame the Past for your Future!!!!!!</em></p>
<p>Thank you,<br /><br />U.</p>
Staff
2011-10-20T19:01:00Z
Everything Seems to be Labeled Bipolar...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Everything-Seems-to-be-Labeled-Bipolar.../-146456796287223549.html
2011-10-19T22:49:00Z
2011-10-19T22:49:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Like you, I too get tired of so many people being labeled with ADD, especially boys. Boys are so different than girls and they learn differently. I find a lot of the teaching methods used in schools are geared towards girls, so no wonder why the boys don't pay attention.</p>
<p>I am also getting tired of people being so quick to label someone as Bipolar. Teenagers are especially using the Bipolar label a lot. If someone has a day where they are angry about something then they must be Bipolar because yesterday they weren't angry, at least this is the explanation I hear from the teenagers. It really aggravates me society wants to diagnose and label people so quickly. Why can't we just allow people to have emotions, to experience them, to deal with them, and to move on with life? Instead, society wants to label everyone and say people must have a disability or mental illness if they aren't going to act perfectly happy, content and normal. Who defines normal anyway? I think it is perfectly normal for an individual to experience different emotions throughout their life.</p>
<p>I even hear the phrase "this weather is so bipolar". Hello, how can the weather be bipolar?</p>
<p>I do agree there are people who have mental illnesses and disabilities. And, I am not disrespecting them in any way. I just don't think the terms should be used so widely.</p>
<p>Sheila</p>
Staff
2011-10-19T22:49:00Z
Strangely, When I Changed My Attitude...
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Strangely,-When-I-Changed-My-Attitude.../225635452835231562.html
2011-10-19T22:45:00Z
2011-10-19T22:45:00Z
<p>Hi there. I just read the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. My mom is always talking about it and loves your radio show so I thought I would give it a try.</p>
<p>I've only been married 6 months so I wasn't looking to fix my marriage, just to stop problems before they start. Well, I realized there were a lot of problems starting! Reading your book helped me to realize that as much as I love my husband, he deserves to be treated a lot better than he has been. I decided I would no longer have a fit because of his video games on the weekends, he works hard and he deserves it. Strangely enough, he's been playing a lot less since I changed my attitude. Apparently if I act less bitchy toward him, he wants to spend more time with me - imagine that! So I just wanted to write and tell you thanks for the good advice and also for standing up for a lot of unpopular ideals (I am a proud and happy housewife).</p>
<p>I plan to read and listen a lot more!</p>
<p>B.</p>
Staff
2011-10-19T22:45:00Z
Sons with Aspergers Syndrome
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sons-with-Aspergers-Syndrome/597423212407793473.html
2011-10-18T07:00:00Z
2011-10-18T07:00:00Z
<p>I just heard a woman on your program with two sons with Aspergers syndrome. My finance and I are 28 and he has Aspergers. His IQ is genius level and he is a wonderful person who always knows the right thing to do. He can figure out what people's motivations are, he has incredible perspective and has a memory like an elephant. I heard a lot of my fiancé in this woman's description of her boys. When he was a teenager he drank, smoked pot, did meth and basically almost died. His problems and a lot of Aspergers problems are emotional. He hated himself and still has image issues. He thinks he is hideously ugly - which he is not and I'm not just saying that because I love him. We have had problems with his laziness and lack of motivation.</p>
<p>I know this woman on your program has been dealing with and fighting to get her boys to live up to the potential she knows they have. But I don't know if she has stopped to think of the intense emotional pain her boys are in and that is probably why they are going the drug route. They don't have the brain wiring to cope with normal emotions because of their mental illness and therefore don't know any other way to cope - because of our society's love for instant gratification. What you advised her was the only thing she can do - but I would urge her to try to take another perspective than they are lazy and she didn't raise them that way etc. My fiancé had a wonderful family life: mom and dad still married- dad even still is working hard to help his son get on track. It's not her, it's the illness. It's heartbreaking for those who love people with Aspergers because you will never get a normal level of reciprocal emotions. I know he loves me and I've worked hard to come to peace with accepting his limitations. This woman's boys may never live up to their potential but it doesn't mean they won't mature. She just has to wait out this heart wrenching phase - and I feel for her and everyone who loves someone with Aspergers.</p>
<p>Thank you.</p>
<p>N.</p>
Staff
2011-10-18T07:00:00Z
I Have a New Attitude
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Have-a-New-Attitude/-599540509059241302.html
2011-10-18T07:00:00Z
2011-10-18T07:00:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I just want to thank you for your books. I just read The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands... And In Praise of Stay at Home Moms... And Parenthood by Proxy.</p>
<p>Dr Laura, I've been at home with my 8 month old since he was born. I felt so stupid about it, given that everyone looks at this with shame and pressures me to work, including both my parents, sister and husband. My dad said it was imperative for me to find employment immediately. Right now we're surviving fine with my husband's teacher salary.</p>
<p>I just want to say thank you!!!! Because you are the first person I know who accepts moms like us. I really thought I was alone. I was even embarrassed to be seen with my boy. Thanks to you, I feel more confident about my life.</p>
<p>I've turned my whole attitude around since I read your books. My husband and I have improved our relationship given that the word divorce was spoken just in July.</p>
<p>Thanks so much. You're my hero! I still face issues, but I'm following your advice and really hoping for the best.</p>
<p>G.</p>
Staff
2011-10-18T07:00:00Z
Raising Well Mannered Children
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-Well-Mannered-Children/793737476593952598.html
2011-10-17T07:00:00Z
2011-10-17T07:00:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>First, you must know my husband and I enjoy your show and your books and appreciate you're such an advocate for children, although we do not have any, other than the four-legged furry kind!</p>
<p>On a recent trip to Epcot for a quick respite from my work, we found ourselves being chastised for having an opinion about the way we were treated by a minor. Let me explain.</p>
<p>After a full day of walking through the park and eating our way through the park as well, we took our tired feet and aching backs on the monorail toward our hotel. As we embarked on the train, we were last on board after a family of four to include a mom, dad, son (about 12 or 13 years old, and daughter (about 10 years old) and two grown men. There was only room for my husband and I to stand and not one of the men or the son offered their seat to me, which annoyed my husband. By the way, my husband, retired military, raised by military parents, always opens doors of every kind for me, and was raised to do all he could do to provide assistance for ladies. I am very happy about that attribute of such a mannerly husband!</p>
<p>As the train came to slow down to our destination, I lowered my hand from holding on to the grab bar above me and accidentally hit the teenage boy on top of his head as he used his left arm to keep me aside so he could get off the train first. His parents and sister followed behind us, as my husband calmly and quietly clasped my hand to walk with me and stated to me, "I almost cold-cocked that kid who pushed you aside to get off the train ahead of you!" I laughed and said, I was surprised he needed to get off first and I accidentally put my elbow in the top of his head, not realizing he was under my arm to get off and told my husband I felt the pressure of his arm to keep me from stepping on him so he could get off first. Then I made the statement, "Thank God he's not our child!" And my husband giggled and said, "I'm glad he's not our child either!" We were not talking loudly, mind you, but apparently, the boy's parents heard us and as the crowd dispersed off the platform in all different directions, his father yelled at us, "He's my child and we can hear you!" So my husband replied, "Sir, if you'd like to discuss this, I'd be happy to do so!" Then we promptly got the middle finger tossed at us from the dad!</p>
<p>The very next day, as I was in Bed, Bath and Beyond, I followed a Spanish-speaking woman and her young son (about 3-4 years old) into the ladies' bathroom. I was a few paces behind them and so when they walked into the bathroom, the door closed behind them. Then, as I went to reach to open the door, the little guy pushed the door open with all his might and a big smile, to open if for me, realizing the door closed and he was taught to open it for ladies.</p>
<p>I thought the vast contrast in manners was alarming and just had to pass it along to you.</p>
<p>Thank you.</p>
<p>Laura</p>
Staff
2011-10-17T07:00:00Z
I Did at Least 5 Out of 10
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/I-Did-at-Least-5-Out-of-10/-901222216897204780.html
2011-10-17T07:00:00Z
2011-10-17T07:00:00Z
<p>Hello Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am reading your book "Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives" for the second time, and I have to say to all the men listening to your show, they need to stop and listen to you because you are right. I did at least 5 of the ten stupid things when I picked my wife and now we have been separated for just over a month. I wanted to be her knight in shining armor but I couldn't be. She had 2 kids with 2 different sperm donors and neither saw their kids much, if at all. I was never enough and life was never "fair" even if everything was going fine. But first and foremost, I was unhappy because I had told myself I could save her, take care of her, and be the only one for her. IT never happened. So to all the men out there please read the book and while you're doing that, don't be dumb and say to yourself it will be OK or that won't happen to me because it will and it does.</p>
<p>Thank you again</p>
<p>William</p>
Staff
2011-10-17T07:00:00Z
Enjoying Time with My Husband
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Enjoying-Time-with-My-Husband/-180596819875276528.html
2011-10-14T07:00:00Z
2011-10-14T07:00:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I have been married to my husband for 32 years, and am still his girlfriend thanks to the constant reminding of you.</p>
<p>We enjoy going out to lunch when we get a chance to do so, and wanted to tell you a funny story of one of our lunch dates. We were out of town at one of our favorite places so no one knew who we were. We always sit beside each other in the booth rather than across from each other. We were laughing and really enjoying each other when we noticed a couple about our age who looked like they were miserable and not enjoying their time together, we even commented how sad it was they were not treasuring their time with each other. When we got up to leave my husband stood up and waited for me to get out of the booth. I said, "Thank you for lunch. I had a really good time." He gave me a kiss and said, "You're welcome. Just don't tell your husband." The look of disgust we got from the other couple was priceless. We laughed all the way to the car.</p>
<p>You are so right about so many women who do not appreciate a good man when they have one.</p>
<p>Julie</p>
Staff
2011-10-14T07:00:00Z
Raising Children as an Only Parent
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-Children-as-an-Only-Parent/-998742397063543426.html
2011-10-14T07:00:00Z
2011-10-14T07:00:00Z
<p>As talked about frequently, raising children as an only parent leaves a lot to be desired. Take it from me, a mom of 4. I have been divorced since my youngest was a year old (14 years). It has not been easy. However I made a decision that in the best interest of my children, I would not date or remarry.</p>
<p>I have had to work most of their lives and continue to do so. It is not easy and definitely do not recommend it as a first choice. However, I have devoted all the time when I am not directly working to raising my children to be responsible, moral productive citizens. There were many late long nights of tears and wondering if I was doing a good job as a parent.</p>
<p>My eldest was killed in a car accident one month before entering into the Air Force Academy. I have twin daughters, one of which is in college and soon will graduate. She has had the same boyfriend since her first year of college. They will not live together and will not consider marriage until they have completed graduate school. The other twin has maintained a long term relationship with her lesbian girlfriend and would marry if it were recognized here. My youngest is 15 and excels in an International Baccalaureate Program. None of them have done drugs or drink irresponsibly.</p>
<p>I truly believe that circumstances could have been much worse if I had not devoted my life to parenting and providing for them. I am not writing this to advocate divorce or parenting alone. I would not wish that on any child. But we can learn from mistakes and work hard to do the best we can for our children. They did not ask to be born into a home without two parents. Marrying and step parenting is not the best option. There is not enough time to devote to a new husband, step-parenting and the marriage. It leaves no time to be a parent. I believe this is more harmful than being an only parent. Given the circumstances we can still do the "right thing".</p>
<p>Thank you</p>
<p>Dawn</p>
Staff
2011-10-14T07:00:00Z
Next Time I'll Choose Wisely
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Next-Time-Ill-Choose-Wisely/-752721271771919959.html
2011-10-13T18:00:00Z
2011-10-13T18:00:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I have just read your book "10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up their Lives."</p>
<p>Well, I was one of those naive girls waiting and hoping for the guy to change. I am so thankful and blessed to have ended that relationship.</p>
<p>I dated the guy for 3 years, he seemed like Prince Charming - little did I know. He lied to me about his whole life. In the beginning I even broke up with him because I got that "you're not telling me everything" feeling. Somehow we ended up getting back together and little did I know there were 2 children (soon to be 3) involved all from different mothers. During our break up, he went to Vegas got married to one of the baby's mammas and got her name tattooed on his finger. He lied to me about everything; he was angry; emotionally, verbally, and physically abusive, but I still just "loved" him so much. I was blind.</p>
<p>A few months ago my Zumba teacher had a conversation with me that many friends had with me prior: "You are not going to marry him. He is not for you. He has too much baggage and you will end up in divorce. You need to read this book by Dr. Laura…" I bought your book and read it over the next 2 weeks. Every time I read it, I felt more and more powerful. He has moved out and we are done. WOW, I can not even tell you how blessed I am to be out of that relationship.</p>
<p>I wanted to tell you thank you, you are an amazing woman, your book was empowering and inspiring. I want other women to know there is a way out and it is possible. I never thought there was, I felt like I was stuck in a big black hole, and now I'm out and can finally see how terrible that relationship was. Yes, I am hurt and have anxiety but the healing process has begun and I am ever so thankful.</p>
<p>God Bless,</p>
<p>T.</p>
Staff
2011-10-13T18:00:00Z
The Solution is Not Always to Drug Them
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Solution-is-Not-Always-to-Drug-Them/420418208907468935.html
2011-10-13T17:00:00Z
2011-10-13T17:00:00Z
<p>This is in response to the email: <a href="/b/Lets-Not-Just-Drug-Em/887229053974093741.html">Let's Not Drug Them</a>."</p>
<p>They wanted to "treat" my oldest for ADD when he was little. I refused treatment and switched to a charter school rather than drugging him. With a smaller class size, he was able to get more help on his speech problem, his frustrations lowered and his grades went up. The original school would have gotten extra federal aid had he stayed at there and been drugged instead of being given the little bit of help he needed.</p>
<p>He is now a responsible young man continuing at college and excelling.</p>
<p>Glad I didn't do as told and listened instead to what I saw as a stay at home mom.<br /><br />Pam</p>
Staff
2011-10-13T17:00:00Z
The Dangers of Seventeen Magazine
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Dangers-of-Seventeen-Magazine/716331160613936678.html
2011-10-12T07:00:00Z
2011-10-12T07:00:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I had a Dr Laura moment, and the guts to blog about it because of you: <a href="http://penelopesoasis.com/2011/reach-for-those-stars-aka-shame-on-you-seventeen-magazine.html" target="_blank">Reach for Those Stars? (AKA Shame on You Seventeen Magazine)</a></p>
<p>I'm disgusted by what is being taught to young girls, and in the past would just "tsk" about it and say nothing, but I felt I had to say something.</p>
<p>My family loves you, my husband is a convert who now plays your podcasts every time we are in the car together, and we just can't express how grateful we are.<br /><br />Penelope</p>
Staff
2011-10-12T07:00:00Z
He Did the Dishes
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/He-Did-the-Dishes/-639437556776531097.html
2011-10-12T07:00:00Z
2011-10-12T07:00:00Z
<p>Hi Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>In one of your books (I think it was The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, or Marriage), there was a wife who wrote about how she told her husband he looked sexy washing the dishes, so he decided to do it more often! <br /><br />I am a SAHM and I totally do not expect my hard-working husband to do the dishes, as that is one of my many tasks I perform at home. But, I was surprised the other night (the day after we made AWESOME LOVE), when he did the dishes I had soaking in the sink while I was busy with bedtime routines for our two children. <br /><br />It was unexpected, but greatly appreciated of course! Did this happen because of "properly caring" for my husband? If so, I really have to keep up the proper caring!<br /><br />Thanks again,</p>
<p>Jennifer</p>
Staff
2011-10-12T07:00:00Z
Searching for a Job
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Searching-for-a-Job/-765649662203338360.html
2011-10-11T07:00:00Z
2011-10-11T07:00:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,<br /><br />Friday's call (10.07.11) from Donna caught my attention. She said SHE would "pound the pavement" to find a job while her husband sticks to the internet and such. Two years ago, I was out of work for 6 months. "Pounding the pavement" does very little these days, at least in some businesses. While I was looking online and contacting placement agencies in my industry, I also went to hardware stores to perhaps get a job as a clerk or salesman or advisor. (I do know quite a bit about such things.) Every single business I went to in person said the same thing: "Apply online. All applications are made online. We do not accept applications in the store." Even grocery stores out here (that would be in WAY-OUT California) have in-store computers for applying. So, "pounding the pavement" is not what it used to be before the internet, and many businesses discourage it.<br /><br />Albert</p>
Staff
2011-10-11T07:00:00Z
Validation for How I Feel
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Validation-for-How-I-Feel/-102530029807965728.html
2011-10-11T07:00:00Z
2011-10-11T07:00:00Z
<br />I wanted to thank you for your book, The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands. I just wish I could convince my wife to read it. We have only been married for two and a half years - my 3rd and her fourth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has been up and down and I certainly have been a contributing factor.<br /><br /> We are both Christians and have been to two different counselors but nothing seems to help: she picks me apart, is condescending very judgmental and calls me names. I want so badly for this to work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I feel like I have made adjustments and I am trying to do better every day. When I try to talk to her about my feelings and things she does that are hurtful, she turns around and makes it my fault. I am not sure where to go from here, I keep praying for things to get better every day, but have serious doubts she can change.<br /><br /> Again thank you for your book. It made me realize my feelings are real and not invalid.
<p> </p>
Staff
2011-10-11T07:00:00Z
The Meaning of My Life
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/The-Meaning-of-My-Life/993722038860746053.html
2011-10-10T21:07:00Z
2011-10-10T21:07:00Z
<p>Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I just read your guest blog, <a href="/b/When-Bad-Things-Happen-to-Children/10097.html" target="_blank">When Bad Things Happen to Children</a>. It was the email from Lisa, a mother, obviously in pain, questioning the meaning of life as she watches her child suffer from cancer. My daughter, Jackie, died of a brain-stem tumor when she was seven years old. She lived for 8 months after her diagnosis and I spent most of that time at work or self-medicating. If I could have a "do-over" I would spend every moment with my baby, loving her and making what she was going through as easy for her as possible. Instead, I found a way to "handle" my own suffering. I will regret that for the rest of my life. I realized, too late, the meaning of MY life came from my title as MOTHER.</p>
<p>L.</p>
Staff
2011-10-10T21:07:00Z
'Men Don't Tell'
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Men-Dont-Tell/436150668666199043.html
2011-10-10T21:00:00Z
2011-10-10T21:00:00Z
<p>Hi Dr Laura,</p>
<p>I very much appreciated your interview on Friday with the gentleman, Dr. Ned Holstein talking about how women initiate at least as much violence against their partners and how hard it is for men to find help in politics, the media, the courts, etc.</p>
<p>It reminded me of a movie I saw many years ago (1993) about a man whose wife was physical violent with him. It was called "Men Don't Tell" starring Peter Strauss and Judith Light, (possibly available on Netflix??)</p>
<p>In the movie, when the police come to the house, they assume he's the batterer. His parents, in laws, even kids believe he's the violent one. I remember him trying to call someone for help and was hung up on....eventually the truth comes out just before he nearly loses everything.</p>
<p>Good movie, worth seeing.</p>
<p>Blessings,</p>
<p>Tara</p>
Staff
2011-10-10T21:00:00Z
100 Ways You Can Love Your Husband His Way
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/100-Ways-You-Can-Love-Your-Husband-His-Way/-164245454006128376.html
2011-10-07T21:14:00Z
2011-10-07T21:14:00Z
<p>I thought you'd be interested in this.</p>
<p>I printed out this list <a href="http://www.marriagemissions.com/100-ways-you-can-love-your-husband-his-way/" target="_blank">100 Ways You Can Love Your Husband His Way</a> for my fiance and asked him to highlight his favorite things for me to do and to highlight the ones I could use improvement on. I assured him I would not be angry.</p>
<p>That evening when I brought the list over to his house, he asked "Where's the list for me?" because he read the link to 100 Ways to Love Your Wife. I was so happy he asked because I had already printed it out and highlighted the most important things to me. I wanted him to know what was important to me also, but I didn't want to give him the impression I didn't think he was a good man, because he is AMAZING - and he even proved that by asking for the ways to love your wife list.</p>
<p>I also read quite a bit of the comments beneath this list and some of it was heartwarming and some of it was just down right sad. I really feel sorry for men.</p>
<p>Sincerely,</p>
<p>Robyn</p>
Staff
2011-10-07T21:14:00Z
Living With an Alcoholic
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Living-With-an-Alcoholic/-104001380719242114.html
2011-10-07T21:08:00Z
2011-10-07T21:08:00Z
<p>Here are my thoughts after listening to your caller who had fears about regrets hoping her alcoholic father would die. While growing up, I lived in a home much like she described. While I did pray my father would decide to give up alcohol, my main prayers were for my Mom: She would have the courage to leave (she never did) or that God would give her a chance at a better life. My father died when they were both 57, she is now almost 93. She got a job (she had never worked outside of the home) and worked until she was 80, returned to the church he had forbid her to attend and made tons of friends, most of whom she has now outlived. I have never regretted I wasn't bonded with my father, he chose alcohol over us. I am most thankful my prayer was answered and my Mom got to know what living a full life is about.</p>
<p>D.</p>
Staff
2011-10-07T21:08:00Z
Disrespectful Kids
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Disrespectful-Kids/-100873059449428434.html
2011-10-06T20:00:00Z
2011-10-06T20:00:00Z
<p>I could totally relate to the call about the disrespectful boy throwing his homework at Dad. When I called my pastor about my husband being too hard on our 19 year old son, thinking the pastor would side with me, he had this to say:</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em> "Kids these days are over-mothered and under-fathered."</em></p>
<p>I was totally convicted of my sins as 'over-mothering'. When I listen to your callers sometimes discuss their disrespectful kids, especially the teens and up, I will say out loud to you and repeat what my pastor said, 'They're over-mothered and under-fathered'. </p>
Thought you might like that phrase.
<p> </p>
Staff
2011-10-06T20:00:00Z
Realizing Mom Couldn't Give Me What I Needed
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Realizing-Mom-Couldnt-Give-Me-What-I-Needed/-462057859437428662.html
2011-10-06T19:21:00Z
2011-10-06T19:21:00Z
<p>I got into my car after a yet another stress filled, teeth gritting, hole in the tongue producing, caretaking visit with my 90 something year old mother. Oh she could take care of herself but it was so nice that I came over to help.</p>
<p>I turned on the radio and one of Dr. Laura's listeners could not understand why their in-need parent was not more grateful, kind, for their hard work and attention. I felt like I was listening to a sister traveler on the radio that afternoon. The conversation turned to the caller's childhood and it sounded an awful lot like mine: a distracted mother who had little or no attention for their needy child. I came after what she thought was her last child and just before the divorce she never dreamed would take place. The upshot was the caller was trying to get her mother to be the attentive, affirming and life-giving mother that she needed as a child. The caller, although doing the right thing in honoring the needs of her parents lacked getting her heart's long deferred nourishment from her Mom.<br /> <br />I took a breath and smiled. This was me. At fifty plus, I wanted my Mom to be the attentive, life affirming Mom who she never was when I was a child. When I did not get the attention I craved, I heard her version of a story from our shared history. (My favorite continues to be the traumatic events before, during, and after my birth.)</p>
<p>Since that call I try to take care of my mother because it's the right thing to do. And I try to honor my mother because she's my mom and love her as my neighbor because that's all that God requires of me, nothing more but nothing less.</p>
<p>C.</p>
Staff
2011-10-06T19:21:00Z
Chick Packin' Heat
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Chick-Packin-Heat/-321562312312410351.html
2011-10-05T20:00:00Z
2011-10-05T20:00:00Z
<p>Hi, Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am one of the 15 million women who packs heat. I live in a very rural part of the country, and when local friends learned I ride my horse alone, they told me I needed to ride armed.</p>
<p>So I bought a .22, and I wear it very conspicuously on my hip when I ride. And yes, I know how to use it. There have been two separate instances when I believe its presence kept trouble at bay. When I'm armed, I carry myself with an air of confidence that is much easier to back up than when I'm not armed, too.</p>
<p>All in all, I believe every woman would benefit from knowing how to handle, and carry a firearm.</p>
<p>Thanks for all that you do.</p>
<p>A Chick packin' heat,</p>
<p>Michelle</p>
Staff
2011-10-05T20:00:00Z
Whitney TV Show
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Whitney-TV-Show/-22083028623493267.html
2011-10-05T19:56:00Z
2011-10-05T19:56:00Z
<p>Dear Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>Last night I turned on the TV to see the pilot of the new show "Whitney" on NBC. Some of the previews showed it would be perhaps a perkier Mary Tyler Moore type. But the first scene showed Whitney and her boyfriend naked in the shower. I quickly flipped to another station.</p>
<p>A little bit later I went back to see if anything had improved - wrong it was far, far worse. As Whitney's boyfriend was talking to his friend that he and Whitney had broken up, the friend was scornful he would even care- "What, you like having the same VAGINA every night?" As I quickly turned off the set, I was so disgusted. This is what we've come to in America, women are just interchangeable vaginas????</p>
<p>It makes me sick to think of the children watching garbage like this.</p>
<p>Colleen</p>
Staff
2011-10-05T19:56:00Z
Unusual Kids' Names
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Unusual-Kids-Names/-981731847659779384.html
2011-10-04T22:30:00Z
2011-10-04T22:30:00Z
<p>Greetings from South Africa, Dr. Laura:<br /><br />Like I'm sure you were, I was dying to know the "unusual" name your recent caller chose for her child that angered the long lost friend she originally heard the name from. Since she refused to let us in on the secret, I thought I'd offer a few "unusual" names I've come upon since moving here. Because my American friends get such a kick, I've started collecting these in the back of a little notebook I keep in my purse and I add to the list when I come upon another good one. These are honest-to-God, I-promise-I'm-not-lying, real names of people here in South Africa:<br /><br />Remember, Welcome, Difference, Towing, Civilized, Observe, Department, Lettuce, Gift, Smiling, Response, Never Mind, Reply, Not Prepared, Benediction, Lusty, Again, Dolphin, Knowledge, Telephone, Obvious, Laundry, Toyota, Flavor, Donation and....last but not least....Vaseline. <br /><br />Thought you might get a chuckle!<br /><br />Warm regards,</p>
<br />Sheri
Staff
2011-10-04T22:30:00Z
My Third Parent
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/My-Third-Parent/-794592212718916936.html
2011-10-04T22:00:00Z
2011-10-04T22:00:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,<br /><br />I have been listening to your program since I was in a car seat in my dad's car. He was a big talk-radio junkie in the 90's and your show became one of my favorite things about driving with my dad. I remember sitting in the car with my head against the window, completely silent, listening to you talk to the hurting, the normal, the crazy, and the absolutely outrageous. They never stopped coming to you with their problems and needs. <br /><br />As I grew older, your conversations with callers became my lessons. Your honesty became a part of how my family lived life. The answer to a tough question would be "What do you think Dr. Laura would say?" You were the salvation to silly problems in my developing life, and when Mom and Dad's "uncool" answers weren't good enough- yours seemed to do the trick.<br /><br />As I got older, the choices I made became less of how you would have handled them/ answered them, and I started to act more like the callers you counseled. Even still, one of the memories that keeps me and my father's relationship together is the "Dr. Laura" take on things. You helped contribute to the father/daughter bond that can only be created by life's lessons.<br /><br />Thank you for having such a meaningful impact on my life. Without a doubt you are one of the most inspirational women in the business, and I have to thank you for helping guide me through life's choices for over fifteen years. Through helping others, you helped me grow to be the person I am today. As ridiculous as that sounds, I have you to thank for raising me along side of my parents. <br /><br />Thank you for all you did and continue to do,<br /><br />Kelly</p>
Staff
2011-10-04T22:00:00Z
Let's Not Just Drug 'Em
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Lets-Not-Just-Drug-Em/887229053974093741.html
2011-10-03T21:40:00Z
2011-10-03T21:40:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,<br /> <br />My husband works in respite care; his clients are mainly bipolar, autistic, and deaf children. I happened to meet one of his clients while my husband and I were walking around the local park -- what a cutie! He's 13 years old and has been "diagnosed" with severe behavior disorders, including bipolar. The list goes on and on and on, and, ironically, so does his list of medications.<br /><br />At the end of the day, I hear some of the situations my husband deals with while working and at first I was convinced his client NEEDED all of his medications.</p>
<p>However, since I began listening to your program and really sitting back to examine things I can clearly see that's not the case.</p>
<p>Yes, the boy has bad behavior, yes he has an attitude much bigger then himself, yes he's a hand-full but he's also from a home that's below lower-class, his father is a tyrant, his mother is a drunk, and his brother is bullying him.<br /> <br />To begin with, he barely stands a chance.<br /> <br />I'd be angry too.</p>
<p>I'd act out too.</p>
<p>What other way does he have to release his thoughts/emotions than to act them out, even if in a negative way?</p>
<p>But instead of getting him help he's on narcotic medications his doctors' claim "don't affect him negatively because there aren't any side effects and they're non-addictive".</p>
<p>Yeah. Right.</p>
<p>His medications...make this 13 year old look and act crazy. His behavior is severe, he's hallucinating, doesn't eat, sleeps minimally, and he has such jerky movements he looks like a robot.</p>
<p>No side effects my ass!</p>
<p>I had heard from my husband's co-worker the young man was being sent to a facility if he didn't start improving under my husband's care (he's the best worker in the company) because the family, doctors, and family counselor don't know what else to do. The same day I found that out, I listened to your program and heard of the Drake Institute that works with people with Autism, Bipolar disorder, etc. without drugs and I thought to myself "this is his last hope!" I printed up the information and asked my husband to talk with his boss about it. He did and was shot down. Why send the boy to the facility I suggested when they could send him to a different one that costs 3 times as much, one that the taxpayers can pay for?</p>
<p>I don't understand it and I probably never will.</p>
<p>What an injustice to this young man...and I wonder, how many more children are being put through the same thing?</p>
Staff
2011-10-03T21:40:00Z
Changed Careers
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Changed-Careers/36045696483350272.html
2011-10-03T21:26:00Z
2011-10-03T21:26:00Z
<p>I'm a stay-at-home Mom. (Thank goodness.) I been a listener since my late twenties (I'm circling 50 now). When my husband I got married, we agreed, if we were ever blessed with children, I would change careers and be a mommy instead. Listening to you further backed up my resolve.</p>
<p>After ten years of marriage, we were blessed with a beautiful little boy. My friends thought I was crazy to leave a government job after 17 years to raise our child, but I heard you in the back of my mind and pressed forward. I only wavered after 9/11 (my son was just two-months-old) because I felt guilty not being at my job and serving my country. I decided staying home and raising a well adjusted member of society was a better service to my country and I stayed strong.</p>
<p>In April of 2004, my husband passed away from a freak accident at work. My son was just 2 and a half. I don't know how we could have managed if I was still working. My son had me at home as always; someone he could rely on being there. I had a routine and someone to wake up for each day. It has been a struggle, but I see a self-confident almost ten-year-old coming home each day from school and I know I did the right thing; I can't imagine who and how he would be if I was at work.</p>
<p>Thanks for your back up. I am thankful I am my kid's mom.</p>
<p>Debra</p>
Staff
2011-10-03T21:26:00Z
Expecting More From Me
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Expecting-More-From-Me/995301364987100642.html
2011-09-29T20:04:00Z
2011-09-29T20:04:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I owe you my new life. You are the ONLY person who told me there are no excuses for being overweight. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia AND PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) when I was 20, plus I have a history of genetic obesity. Over the years I gradually gained more and more weight and even my own family would excuse my weight gain saying it's not my fault, genetics and PCOS made me gain more than average people and fibromyalgia made exercise too painful.</p>
<p>Last November I heard you telling a caller that you just need to start eating less and moving more. Well, at the weight I was, it really did hurt too much to exercise (I was 205 lbs. at 5.8), but I could eat less. I tracked calories and started eating more veggies and less junk. In 9 months, I had lost 50 lbs. This last month I started exercising and found I was much less sore now that I no longer carried around all that extra weight. I now go 5 times a week for a full 60 minute class, plus I am eating more healthy than I ever have. I am no longer a victim of my circumstances. I will break the 150 mark in the next few weeks, a weight I have not seen for 10 years and I am THRILLED. Thank you for expecting more from me than I expected from myself.</p>
<p>Sharon</p>
Staff
2011-09-29T20:04:00Z
Sibling Rivalry Continues Through the Years
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sibling-Rivalry-Continues-Through-the-Years/493563945033531114.html
2011-09-29T19:20:00Z
2011-09-29T19:20:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I am the middle (girl) of 5 siblings: 2 boys, 2 girls, 1 boy born 8 years after the stair-step of the 50's. Our parents were great, and Dad was the disciplinarian. Mom hated conflict and always refused to deal with it. The biggest problem was the oldest being a bully (grew out of it) and the youngest girl being a brat (loved to stir up problems, tattle, etc. and grew up to be the only divorced sibling who changed jobs frequently due to conflicts in the office).</p>
<p>Fast forward. Dad died many years ago. Mom never reined in the family pain in the ass. The baby of the family devoted himself to taking care of Mom, I was the dependable one with the medical power of attorney and caregiver throughout years of medical problems, and the two other brothers helped with financial and house issues. Mom did have finances in order, a will and a trust, and thought she had prepared, but refused to deal with "stuff". She attached post-its and notes to her will and papers. $10,000 attorney's fees later, the 4 of us have long since vowed we don't have a sister. She came in at 2-3 a.m. the night of mom's Celebration of Life when everyone was asleep at their hotels and loaded a truck with stuff. She claimed 50% of the jewelry, and took first pick (the rest was divided among the 4 of us). She had already taken many, many things over the years and threatened to sue us all (yes, she's a corporate shark).</p>
<p>Bottom line to all parents: grow a spine and take care of grasping, self-centered behavior early and make a plan to continue beyond the grave when you know there's an issue.</p>
<p>K.</p>
Staff
2011-09-29T19:20:00Z
Differences Between a Boy and a Man!
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Differences-Between-a-Boy-and-a-Man!/100006349296545814.html
2011-09-28T19:00:00Z
2011-09-28T19:00:00Z
<p>Dr. Laura,</p>
<p>I thought you might like the below copied from a Facebook friend (and a real man):</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;">Boys ask questions... Men give answers!!! <br />Boys play house... Men build homes!!! <br />Boys shack up... Men get married!!! <br />Boys make babies... Men raise children!!! <br />A Boy won't raise his own children... A Man will raise his and someone else's!!!<br />Boys invent excuses for failure... Men produce strategies for success!!! <br />Boys look for somebody to take care of them... Men look for someone to take care of!!! <br />Boys seek popularity… Men demand respect and know how to give it!</p>
<p>TO ALL THE MEN... I TAKE MY HAT OFF TO YOU FOR HOLDING YOUR OWN AND HANDLING YOUR BUSINESS!!! I know it gets hard out here sometimes, and you get discouraged...but keep your head up you and will reap your just rewards!!!</p>
<p>This applies to all the boys out there... MAN UP!!!!</p>
<p>Arturo</p>
Staff
2011-09-28T19:00:00Z
Raising the Right Kind of Boys
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Raising-the-Right-Kind-of-Boys/-923427215285674114.html
2011-09-28T18:10:00Z
2011-09-28T18:10:00Z
<p>"We need to teach our daughters to distinguish between a man who flatters her - and a man who compliments her.</p>
<p>A man who spends money on her - and a man who invests in her.</p>
<p>A man who views her as property - and a man who views her properly.</p>
<p>A man who lusts after her - and a man who loves her.</p>
<p>A man who believes he is God's gift to women - and a man who remembers a woman was God's gift to man...</p>
<p>And then teach our boys to be that kind of a man." - author unknown</p>
<p>Dennis</p>
Staff
2011-09-28T18:10:00Z
Push Ups
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Push-Ups/-208758127850862681.html
2011-09-27T19:00:00Z
2011-09-27T19:00:00Z
<p>I love your advice and have followed you for about 15 years. I have now been VERY happily married for 12 years and I know that is partly because of listening to you and taking the advice you provide every day. I am an attorney, my husband is an MBA Engineer from USC. <br /><br />Anyway, I want you to know I love the information you provide regarding fitness. It is hard with two dogs, two kids and a part-time career (the part-time aspect is also partly due to your influence) to keep fit when I would rather spend my free time with my kids. I LOVE the push-up suggestions. I am fit and just did 10, no problem. I will do another 10 before I go to bed. But I now know I have to do more to beat your little 60 year plus butt!! <br /><br />Keep going Dr. Laura. I have Sirius so I can listen to you!!</p>
<p><br />Denise</p>
Staff
2011-09-27T19:00:00Z
Sibling Squabbles
Staff
http://www.DrLaura.com/b/Sibling-Squabbles/368532890426908997.html
2011-09-27T18:01:00Z
2011-09-27T18:01:00Z
<p>I have two brothers and three sisters, and it finally dawned on me, my Mother adores her sons, and competes with her daughters. <br /><br />She didn't mind using us, but she clearly shows favoritism to her boys. And the funny part, is their wives can barely stand her. And the less my Brothers want to do with her, the closer she tries to get. <br /><br />For years and years, she worked to cause dissention between us all. Since recognizing how she tried to get us all to fight, we finally said "Stop it". <br /><br />She no longer talks to any of us girls. And although we love our Mother, we have accepted it and have gotten a lot closer as siblings. We have even gotten to know our Aunts and cousins, whom she isolated us from. She treated our Grandmother badly too, and we barely knew her. <br /><br />So from her bad example, we have found a great future.</p>
<p>L.</p>
Staff
2011-09-27T18:01:00Z