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Subject: |
My Distressed Damsel |
| Date: |
2009-09-22
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My Distressed Damsel
You are right about distressed damsels, as I have learned through experience. I should have known that my sweetie was not healthy, but I was too naive.
Here are the warning flags I should have seen.
- Constantly needing to know where I was and what I was doing, especially when we first started dating.
- Insisting on forcing the relationship to progress quickly.
- Constantly bad mouthing her ex.
- Always had some kind of drama going on.
- Told me about how she had been embarrassed and angered by her mother's actions, had "snapped" and beat her mother leaving bruises.
This last one was not only a flag; it had cannons, flares, a marching band and cheerleaders shouting "BAD GIRL, BAD GIRL! Stay AaahhWAAAAY!" I married her anyhow; she manipulated me, neglected our kids and in general ran our world. She would undermine me in front of the kids, saying that I was abusive when I would send them to "time out" for fighting. Once she choked me in a hospital lobby. She was committed to a psyche ward, where she convinced them it had just been the pain meds she was on. She threatened me with sharp objects, and threatened suicide many times. She even stabbed me with kitchen knives in front of our kids. She went to jail, was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder with PTSD. On the advice of my ecclesiastical leader, I took her back on the condition that she got treatment. The drama continued. I worked hard to eliminate it, and every time it looked like it would be OK, she would capsize the ship. Two years later we are threatened with having our parental rights terminated, and I have been forced to look at our relationship, myself, and her behavior. She will not change as long as somebody lets her behave this way, so we must divorce. This is painful for me, but will be the best thing for all of us.
Please, Please share the warning signs with your listeners, to help the naive ones see before they have to suffer. Thank you.
T.
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