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Subject: |
How To Tell A Man You Don't Want To Sleep With Him Before Marriage |
| Date: |
2009-09-30
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How To Tell A Man You Don't Want To Sleep With Him Before Marriage
Hi, Dr. Laura,
You had a caller nervous about how to tell the very nice man she'd met that she didn't want to have sex before marriage, and you suggested she say precisely that. Excellent!
Any man worthy of her should respond with, "That's perfect, because I respect you and myself too much to have sex with you before marriage. Besides, if we get that physical, it might interfere with developing the friendship that will be the proper foundation for a marriage."
I'll admit, I was raised both faithful and very old-fashioned. Sex before marriage was an unacceptable option for me despite the very strong biological urges any normal human experiences, male or female.
It was never a question for me. The one time I went out with a woman who didn't know my standards, she told me she had limits. My response was simple. I said, "Good, because these are mine," and I outlined them for her. We weren't a perfect match in other ways, but it was delightful to know we were on the same page with regard to developing a relationship before distracting ourselves with sex.
A woman should never feel at all reticent to tell man they have standards. Any decent man will not only respect those standards, but cherish her all the more for them.
Also, if women would hold men to those standards, men would stop expecting them to behave like unpaid whores. It's really that simple.
Andrew
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