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Subject: |
My Life Has Changed |
| Date: |
2009-09-30
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My Life Has Changed
Dear Dr. Laura,
This letter of appreciation is way overdue. I have listened to you enough to know that you would have told me I was crazy to marry the woman that I did indeed wed. She had been married twice before me and neither marriage had lasted more than two years. I had not been married before, but believed that in her I had found the woman I was meant to be with. As you would likely guess, not long after we married we were headed down the same track as her first two marriages. The main difference for her this time is that I have always known that I would marry once and be with that person for the rest of my life. To make a long and shaky story short, there were many tough and tumultuous years and two delightful children. The more I did to meet her demands/needs, the more she seemed to resent me. I am an excellent cook, having grown up working in my father's bakery/deli, so I cook more than half the dinners but it seemed that the more I did the more she complained. Not that I was a perfect husband, but I provided well and never cheated. For a 10 year stretch, we had sex less than 10 times (total).
Then she started listening to you, as did I - when work allowed. Nothing really changed at first, but I started writing a letter to you. I did not think that I would ever get around to sending it, but it was cathartic to express my thoughts and feelings, and I kept adding to it. Then one day I heard you ask men to send you letters because of a book that you were writing. I went to my computer and immediately sent all that I had written to that point. I thought that was the end of it, because if you ever read my letter on the air, my wife did not hear it. But wait, there is more...
On my birthday in 2005, one of my presents was a book. But it was not a book for me to read, it was a book that she would read for me - that book was "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands". Your book changed everything. Since then, I have had the woman in my life that I always knew was hidden under her pain and resentment. I have never been more in love with this woman; she outshines every other female on the planet. However...
There was a little concern when she realized that you had quoted my letter in your book, but she quickly realized and understood why I would write to you, once we discussed it. I am the man you quote on page x, and that is the only part of the book that she has ever allowed me to read. Therefore...
I am so thankful for your very existence. These last 4 1/2 years of our more than 27 years together have been nothing short of wonderful. Our sex life has been regular, intimate, fun, fulfilling, and important to both of us. But more important than that, we are always looking out for each other, always taking care of each other, always doing special things for each other, and truly enjoy all of our time together. I would do it all over again to be with this woman. There is nothing that I would not do for her.
Now, at the ripe old age of 56, I have been diagnosed with cancer. Prior to 2005, I suspect that we would not have been able to deal with this problem very well. But we are now a caring, loving team that will deal successfully with whatever is in front of us. I have never been a smoker or a drinker (perhaps 6 drinks a year - mostly around holidays), so I guess this kind of cancer is just the way life goes sometimes. We both understand that "tomorrow is promised to no one", and we are making the most of each day that we have. Faith in God is also a huge part of the calmness that we are feeling. I am hurrying to finish this letter because my surgery is upcoming, so I apologize if this letter is not as eloquent as the one I sent years ago, I tweaked that one for many months.
I just wanted you to know, if our time together is coming to an end - our lives have been so much more blessed these last few years than many others experience in a whole lifetime. You helped make that happen.
God bless you Dr. Laura,
Sincerely,
P.
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