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Subject: |
Can You Afford To Be A SAHM? |
| Date: |
2009-10-01
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Can You Afford To Be A SAHM?
Dear Dr. Laura,
I am proud to say that I quit my job in my first trimester with my firstborn and have been a SAHM ever since! My son is now 17 months old. I am now 8 weeks away from having our second child, another boy! I have been receiving e-mails from some parenting magazines and other online baby related sites that offer advice and coupons, etc. I always take these with a grain of salt, as I am skeptical of all of these magazines that chastise SAHMs. So when I got this email saying, "Can you afford to stay home" I naturally went to investigate.
It's from parents.com and it has an expense calculator to help determine if you can "afford" to stay home, as if being Mommy isn't payment enough. I entered in all of my expenses, just as an experiment, and had a yearly shortfall of around $30,000. Their recommendation was that I can't afford it. I thought it was strange, so I looked and realized I had switched my and my husband's salaries. So I corrected the problem and came out this time with a yearly surplus of $11,500! I thought, "Ok, now it will say I can afford it!" WRONG!!! Same thing, it recommended I stay at work because I can't afford to be a SAHM. I have to admit that I wasn't all that shocked in the result, considering the source.
What I couldn't help but thinking was that so many women are discouraged by all the so-called "advice" they get from the "experts" and even from the non-experts, like a magazine. We are made to feel so guilty that we are not providing for our family, when I know that I am providing more for my little one by stay home with him than I ever could at a "real job." I do have an at-home job with a cosmetic company (if you publish this, you may or may not want to say who it is, but I will put in a plug right now for it...Mary Kay...the company is based on the principle of God first, Family second, and Career third...it's allowed me to make a little extra income while being here for my son). I had an appointment just this morning I had to cancel because my son is running a 103 fever. I was up most of the night taking care of him. I can guarantee that my former employer would have a fit if I called in for this reason, and it would be a day off with no pay. I will never again have to choose a paycheck over my son. Being here for him is the most important job I will ever have. Can I afford it? Of course I can. I don't have two car payments, don't have credit cards, buy very nice clothes from the department stores when they are on sale, and have a strict budget for my family. I save money by cooking at home, and by making a lot of our household items, like curtains, quilts, and some clothing. This is my dream life. I could care less about the "stuff" that they say defines you... my family and my relationship with God define me.
So, to all you mothers... be there for your family. It's worth more than all the money in the world!
Sincerely,
Rebecca
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