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Subject: |
Advice to My Daughter About Her Father |
| Date: |
2009-10-09
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Advice to My Daughter About Her Father
Wow... I was listening to your show this afternoon and a girl named Ali was the caller.
I have a daughter named Ali and started playing the "hey, you have this in common with my daughter" game. As certain things lined up... age, issues with stepmom... wait... brothers... I'm thinking... I have to call my daughter and tell her this girl on Dr. Laura has all these things in common with you... wait...
It IS my daughter.
My articulate, beautiful daughter carrying around the weight of a clueless dad...
I listened as my long time moral compass, Dr. Laura, let my daughter figure out her own answers as she spelled out what I know to be a common theme in her life through the years.
You let her know she was smart (this is something her dad needs to let her know) and called her sweetheart as you ended the call. I always love when you do that...endearments are one of my favorite things.
Ali's dad used to call her his little peanut when she was little...before his lapses.
When we divorced, the need for a woman in his life took over the common sense of his dad world and the rest is a rocky road of goodness and indifference.
Thank you for pointing out that there is good for my daughter and that is what she can dwell on.
For me... I wish I could beat the man over the head with information that he is missing out on a better relationship with a young woman who has grown into one of the finest people I know. If she wasn't my daughter, I'd want to at least be friends with her.
One of the good but kind of bad things Ali has in her life is a grandpa who loves the heck out of her. My dad has it together in the father daughter department...taking me and my five sisters separately and together on monthly breakfast dates, motorcycle trips (sorry, not Harleys though) and just making time and space in his life for our relationships. All while keeping my mom, who he's been married to 50 years, happy.
Ali wishes her dad was like this, I'm sure... and he is a good man...but is...like I said...clueless and whipped by his new wife.
One thing I do want you to know is that my daughter is not a silly girl who made up for a missing father figure by doing what a lot of girls do. She married a good man and is figuring out their relationship with thought and care...and reading your books. I really never thought that my free spirited kid would listen to such a "conservative" woman on AM radio of all things...but today, I'm glad she is.
Thank you for your kindness and mothering of my Ali today.
Keep up the work and pounding it into dads' heads that their relationships with their daughters will be crucial in their role as women and wives.
Shout out to my dad who made me start listening to you sooooo many years ago and still has three hour breakfast dates with me.< br>
peace and love,
Another free spirit listening to AM radio, but only to Dr. Laura!
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