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Subject: |
Stand Up To Bullying |
| Date: |
2009-10-19
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Stand Up To Bullying
I have heard your sound advice regarding preparing kids to stand up to bullying. I wish I had your council when I was facing the issue a dozen years ago, when my son found himself on the receiving end at school and on his sports teams.
Having grown up in a small town I was well aware what would await my son when he turned eight, and fortunately how to deal with it. In short, I taught him how to punch.
I will not bore you with the anger I encountered from parents, coaches, and school administrators over encouraging my boy to punch bullies, except to say we were several times called before the principal, once threatened with expulsion, lost a year of hockey when he took out two coach's kids. It always surprised me that parents seem to accept bullying, but react violently against a kid fighting back. When I would say "It's not my job to raise a victim", I would be argued with. The message was clear: just accept bullying, learn to be a victim.
Bullying tends to flow around any obstruction to find an easier target. To stop a bully, you don't need to be a black belt- just having the confidence to throw one punch will show that you are an obstruction, and the bully will move on to an easier target.
Ironically, bullying is rarely a physical contest. Bullies tend to be small and often weak, but they psychologically beat other kids down until they meet no resistance. Any boy between eight and twelve who is quiet and not a smart-aleck is likely to encounter bullying. Knowing how to throw one good punch can make the difference between being a victim or being avoided by bullies.
My kid is now 6'2, 190 lbs., plays Division 1 college sports, is a straight A science student hoping to make med. school. He has lots of friends, lots of girl friends, overwhelms me daily with his strength, convictions, determination, and focus. He is still the happy, quiet-spoken, polite guy he was when he was ten, but is absolutely nobody's victim.
B.
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