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Subject: |
Ex-Marine, Now Mom |
| Date: |
2009-10-20
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Ex-Marine, Now Mom
Hi Dr Laura-
I had to write and share a great moment that I owe largely to you. My wonderful husband and I have a beautiful 3 month old baby boy. A few evenings ago I was sitting with my baby and we were "talking" as he held on to two of my fingers. I told him that he was very special and that taking care of him, Daddy and our dog Daisy were Momma's most important jobs. As I finished saying that he gave me a huge, gummy smile like he knew what I was saying. My heart melted! I immediately emailed my husband and shared what had happened. I thanked him again for working hard so that I'm able to be here and have these special moments.
I'd like to say that I have always been this euphoric about being home, but I can't lie. I am a convert to the Dr Laura school of thought after a long journey. You see, I am a retired Marine with 21+ years of combined active and reserve time and a Master's degree. As an educated woman in a male dominated environment, I prized being self sufficient and looked down on women who did not utilize their talents or have something "for themselves". When my husband and I met (he is also a Marine) we talked on the phone for 30 days before our first date. While sharing what we wanted in a partner/marriage it dawned on me that having this outlook was very effective at work, but it left me seriously lacking inside. I knew I needed to change to have the relationship and life that I truly wanted. With your help I broke down the walls and explored the "feminine" side of me that had been hiding for fear of being, well, feminine! It was refreshing to know that being a woman was not the crime that I had previously thought. My husband and I agreed that I would stay home when we had children and we moved to a location that would allow us to live on one income. I was able to leave my part time job well in advance of the baby and happily responded to the "what are you going to do now?" question by saying that I am going to be a full time wife, girlfriend and Momma.
Did you know that old habits die hard? After the baby arrived I'm telling my husband that I'm jealous that he gets to leave every day. Do I want to go back to work? No, but I envy him being away and having an identity outside of the house. I miss him and the time we used to spend together and our previous division of labor has shifted...there is a lot of Momma flying solo that I did NOT anticipate! I'm tired and unsure of myself in this new role....am I really "enough" with just this? My sweet MAN encourages and helps me, often just listening to me work though my fears. We've made it to three months and I'm (mostly) on an even keel. I KNOW I am doing the right thing by being home I see it on his face because he's confident that I have things here covered. I saw it at 3:45am when I brought the baby downstairs to eat and he was smiling and "talking" to me.
Thank you for helping me get around myself so that I can enjoy my family and life!
Wife, girlfriend, Mom, Marine
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