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Subject: |
Need Is A Four Letter Word |
| Date: |
2009-11-05
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Need Is A Four Letter Word
Dear Dr. Laura,
Let me begin this letter by thanking you for your tireless efforts to help your listeners become better adults. From studying your books and listening to your radio program, I have grown as a man. Thank-you.
I am writing to you today to share an observation that has come to me. I am a 51 yr. male, divorced, no kids, and am wanting to find a woman to have a committed relationship (marriage). I have decided to use the internet to aid me in the process.
I choose to date a woman close to my age +-5yrs. I believe this is important as it will hopefully give us similar life experiences to share. One common theme that seems to resonate with a majority of the women is summarized in the phrase "I don't need a man." Now I know that this is a way for a woman to show others she is strong, resourceful and independent. That she has proved to herself that she can take care of herself. To these women I say job well done and then I ask so why are you on a dating site? Why invest time and energy looking for someone who, as I understand the previous statement, has a limited value to you? The usual answer is "I want a man." To which I ask, "For what?"
Words like companionship, friendship, someone to spend time with and take me places, to do fun things with, etc. are the typical responses. While I agree that these are all useful in a healthy relationship, can't these be obtained from friends, family, pets? So I ask again, what is the point of having a man in your life? What purpose does he serve? At this point a conclusion might be reached that the only thing left is sex. But as most of us know, sex can be a gratifying experience in the short term, but ultimately if the act is not supported by a deeper commitment, it is ultimately hollow and unfulfilling.
Dr. Laura, I have concluded that a relationship has a better chance for continued success if a sense of purpose is supported by both participants. I believe that knowing one's purpose and having that purpose encouraged by one another aids in a happy and healthy relationship. Our lives are fulfilled and we are happier when we are on purpose.
I will close with a question to all women blessed with the honor of being a mother, "Which is a more rewarding experience, being wanted by your child or children or knowing that you are needed by them?" The answer to this question will hopefully lead to another four letter word that begins with L.
Thank you again Dr. Laura.
A faithful listener,
S.
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