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Subject: |
I Have Nothing To Whine About! |
| Date: |
2009-11-06
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I Have Nothing To Whine About!
Dear Dr. Laura,
It's been a week. My whole family has the flu. My toddler is teething, potty training, and having trouble sleeping. My husband isn't home to see what I deal with because he's working long hours while the overtime is available. Since I'm sick, and caring for my sick family, my house is getting messier and messier, and I'm dying from being cooped up. I've been short, snappy, nit-picky, and the worst of it is, I didn't realize how horrible my attitude has been.
I should be cleaning something, but instead spent the last hour consoling a friend on the phone. She's suffering panic attacks over the first week of leaving her beautiful 7 week (WEEK!) old baby in daycare. My friend desperately wants to stay home with her little boy, and according to her, could pretty easily afford to, but her husband refuses to support her, saying he doesn't want that kind of lifestyle change. She suggested trying it for the first year, he shot her down, saying she'll lose her position. She offered to find an evening and weekend job opposite him to at least keep the baby with one of them. He was horrified that she'd even consider giving up her career for a job. She tried to use her maternity leave to show him the benefits of having her home, but he insists the things she did will get done anyway, and she really needs to pull her weight financially. My friend broke down in tears 6 times during the conversation. Sadly, I didn't have many suggestions, only hope that my listening helped a little. (Dr. Laura aside -- Kendra, tell your friend to pack up the baby and go home to her mother, until he can't bear the loneliness and becomes a man.)
My heart breaks for my friend and her son, but it really put my complaints this week into a new perspective. I am potty training my daughter. I am there to rub Ora-gel on her sore, swollen gums. I administer her Tylenol/Motrin combo, sponge cool water on her feverish little body, and comfort her when she's so miserable she can't take it. I am able to get up with her, read Good Night Moon for the third time, and rock her back to sleep without worrying about where I need to be in the morning. My husband is willing to work 15 hour days to give us a little extra, even though he feels like garbage too. He provides us with the now messy home I'm so sick of being stuck in. He's not only supportive, but down right proud of my decision to be a fulltime wife and mother, and there's never been a question about what weight I'm pulling. I am blessed, I am lucky, and I should be grateful, not whiny.
The cleaning can wait one more day. My husband will be home soon, I have his favorite dinner in the oven, and I want to give him the welcome he deserves. Tonight when my daughter wakes up, I'll hold her for an extra few minutes and really appreciate the wonderful life I have.
Thank you for all you do for stay at home moms. I did suggest my friend and her husband tune in to you, and check out some of your books. I really hope he has a change of heart, and really appreciate my own husband for valuing my role.
Thankful to be my daughter's mom and husband's girlfriend,
K.
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