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Subject: |
I Was A Bad Picker |
| Date: |
2009-11-06
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I Was A Bad Picker
Dear Dr. Laura:
Loved your book "Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands". My jaw dropped almost throughout the entire book. I could have sworn you had been living with my wife and I and taking notes.
I wish my wife had read your book while we were married. No, actually, I'm glad she didn't. She would have cursed at it, burned it, and then I would have had to endure weeks of her angrily ranting about it.
All I can say is that I have a really bad picker. (I am better armed now, though, after reading "10 Stupid things Men do....")
But, seriously, "Proper Care..." gave me the greatest gift since my divorce: Identification. I really thought I was the only man who was experiencing what so many men did in your book. I thought I was just too sensitive or "not man enough" (as my wife liked to frequently remind me) to put up with explosive and drama charged conversations.
During the year we were married, any time my wife was talking (which was from the time I got home until 1 or 2 AM), she was either character assassinating someone close to her, or complaining. She would become furious when I wasn't participating in her gossip or agree with her. On one such occasion I told her, as she was pouting, "Listen, I am not your girlfriend and am not interested in gossip or cutting people down - it's so negative". She cried and called me insensitive for not wanting to hear HER share.
I successfully took care of one of her biggest complaints: Me. I just couldn't take the selfishness and mean spiritedness any more and I left. I was so tired of trying to please her and to be the husband of her dreams. You are right what you said in your book about men being able to take so much...and I thought I would be able to take a lot more. Near the end I felt like I was loosing my mind and I hated myself for "not being man enough"
Yes, us men DO read books like yours, and we are glad to, in contrast to the other "relationship" books that tell women how to manipulate us and "put us in our proper place". On most days, any man would feel the odds are stacked against him after reading some of the other book titles in the Relationships section.
Thanks again for making for this man feel not so alone.
J. - Happily and peacefully divorced
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