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Subject: |
When Should Kids Get the Pink Slip? |
| Date: |
2009-05-19
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When Should Kids Get the Pink Slip?
Hi, I’m Dr. Laura Schlessinger…oh, you know that already. But I’m here today to answer some of the questions that you’ve sent me in emails, so thank you very much for doing so. And these are good questions.
“I have listened to Dr. Laura for years. (Thank you very much) I support her beliefs that children are everyone’s first responsibility. When is it reasonable, though, to say children are responsible for themselves? When is it considered support, and when is it considered enabling when dealing with 28 yr. old children? Are responsibilities such as their own house rental costs, utilities, food, vehicle, etc. parents' responsibilities when the child is completely capable of working? (I cannot believe you’re even asking me this question.) How many, or what kind of, functions are parents responsible to ensure 28 yr. old children attend, when the cost of attending includes hotels, flights, food, clothing, etc. ? What costs are parents responsible for, or should pay for, (this is a never-ending question) when the child is 28, single mother, receives government housing, (see, there’s always the rest of the story) reduced utilities, spousal support, yet will not work because menial task jobs ‘are an insult for her to accept', especially knowing that uncles, both sets of grandparents, parents, cousins, will pay her bills if she holds out? What is the difference between the 3 categories?”
[Laughs] We’re so far gone here. If the aunts and cousins and uncles and grandparents and people in foreign countries are contributing to her demise as a responsible adult, don’t add yourself to the list. And I would really request that you would invite all the relatives to your house and say, “Look. We’re hurting her. We’re not helping her.”
You know, when you’re helping somebody, it’s like when kids first learn to walk. You hold their hands and they stumble along, and then you let go a little bit, you let go a little bit, until all of a sudden they’re on their own. If you’re constantly dragging them around by their hands, when do their legs ever get strong?
So, the truth is, everybody wants to feel good or everybody wants to feel like a hero. Everyone likes to feel special. Everyone likes to feel like the really good person in the family. But, ultimately, we’re helping keep her infantile and a user.
So, if she really wants to come to something, she knows how to budget. And, you know something? When you really have to pull it out, you feel more proud of yourself. And that’s what she’s needing. Keep that in mind.
I’m Dr. Laura Schlessinger. See you at your next YouTube adventure with me. Take care.
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