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Subject: |
Getting Your Marital Flirt On |
| Date: |
2009-05-26
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Getting Your Marital Flirt On
Hi, I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger and welcome to my YouTube channel, and thank you for your questions. This one has to do with flirting.
"Thanks for doing the YouTube comments on video. I'm really enjoying the extra wisdom from Dr Laura. (I had to read that sentence; it made me feel good.) Could I suggest (and thank you for flirting with me) a possible topic for a Video Blog? I would love to hear more about 'flirting in marriage'- What exactly it looks like, how you do it, what it is and what it is not. Some tips would be appreciated. In my previous marriage I felt 'wrong' flirting and I regret it now. If I remarry one day, I will do it. Would appreciate more details and how it can work."
I'm a little flabbergasted, frankly, at this, because if you're single and you're out on a date, you know how to flirt. You know, you say nice things and you look sweet, and you respond to things sweetly and you actually pay attention to him. And flirting takes all sorts of forms. For example, one woman called me the other day and then wrote because she heard me talk to a woman about spending 30 days just doing what the guy would like...her husband would like. Doesn't matter if you want it, doesn't matter if you think it's stupid or not, just spend 30 days doing what he'd like. So, she had dinner that night...they had meatloaf. The seven year old is sitting there, dad is sitting there, she's sitting there...suddenly there's a screaming fight between mom and dad, about how dad's not eating the meatloaf. And, "Why aren't you eating the meatloaf? I spent time cooking this." And he says, "Well, I had a big lunch." And," Well, see, you have too big a lunch and then you're not hungry for dinner." "Well if I had breakfast I wouldn't eat such a big lunch." Well [sighs]...in front of the seven year old. Does this sound like the world's dumbest argument?
So, she thought about what I said, got up the next morning, made him his egg sandwich. She's never cooked breakfast for him before. He said, "Do you have orange juice?" She said, "No." That was that. He didn't say thank you for the egg sandwich. The next day, she makes the egg sandwich and she has orange juice. He drinks the orange juice, eats the egg sandwich. Does he say "thank you"? No. He just leaves and goes to work. Third day, she makes the egg sandwich, gets a bigger glass of orange juice. Does he say "thank you"? No. He has the orange juice, he has the egg sandwich and he leaves. On the fourth day...I said 30 days, mind you...on the fourth day, he had the egg sandwich, he had the orange juice and when he got up to leave, he tapped her on the shoulder and he said, "I don't know who you are or what you did with my wife, but I like it." That's flirting.
It's making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and taking raisins and making a cute face. It's when you're in the shower, or he's in the shower, or you're in the shower together, you look at him and go, "Ooh. Look at those triceps."
It's...gosh...things like: "when you just go by and just sort of touch me...it just makes me feel connected"; "I love you, you're sweet"; "I love the smell of you."
What? I have to explain this to you?! Yes. And I'll tell you why: something horrible happens to too many...most? Too many? Most? I don't know which to say and not get in too much trouble...wives. They start acting as though they're all sleeping with the enemy. I can't say anything nice, I can't give him a compliment, I can't do anything cause somehow then he'll control me, or he'll want sex and, of course, I don't want sex, I mean [throws hands up] who wants an orgasm? [Laughs] I don't know what happens. It turns into a war.
So flirting is just all the sweet parts of being a woman, focused in his direction. It's not brain surgery. It's simple, it's cute, it's sweet. It's climbing into bed and tickling him. Its saying, "Come in to the shower with me". It's putting a little sprig of parsley on top of the meatloaf that he's now eating. Oh yeah, by the way, the end of that story was: he was always hungry for dinner... and afterwards.
I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Welcome to my YouTube channel. Be here again.
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