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Subject: |
Tease-Proofing My Little Boy |
| Date: |
2009-09-29
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Tease-Proofing My Little Boy
Dr. L: Okay, Kimberly.
Kimberly: Okay, we have a question from Kim:
“I have a little boy who just started kindergarten. In order to ‘tease-proof’ him against the inevitable taunting that comes with school, I taught him to look kids calmly in the eyes and say ‘So?’ whenever someone makes fun of him or calls him names. It sure worked for me as a child. But it’s not working for him. And he’s now being taunted by another little boy who promises to tear up his artwork or take his backpack. The boy never actually follows through, but I’m wracking my brain trying to think of a great way to show my boy how to respond without making things worse. Do you have any suggestions?”
Dr. L: First of all, what works for little girls, doesn’t work with little boys. Boys are very different, and establishing hierarchies on the playground is definitely a male thing. You look through all the animal kingdom and you see that. So it seems to me that she has put some of her fears from her own childhood into this kid, because it is not unusual when we have suffered when we were kids to then, when we have kids, make the assumption that they are going to feel and experience exactly the same thing. And then constantly be on them about “This is going to happen…this is how I want you to react”. Whereas little boys do very well pushing and shoving and then going out and playing ball.
So my opinion is she should get off his back about this, let him handle it himself and just tell him, “If some kid bothers you, say ‘Hey, let’s go out and throw some hoops’.” That’s how boys bond.
I’m Dr. Laura Schlessinger. [Motions to Kimberly]
Kimberly: And I’m Kimberly Neill.
Dr. L: And we’ll be back with more of this. Yes, believe it or not, we will. (I’m taking the dog for a walk though.)
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