| |
Subject: |
Retool Your Parenting |
| Date: |
2009-04-06
|
|
Retool Your Parenting
By Chick Moorman and
Thomas Haller
www.uncommon-parenting.com
Corporate
downsizing, a sluggish economy and high unemployment has left many
people fearful of the future as they struggle to provide for their
families. As a result, job fairs are experiencing a record number of
attendees and unemployment agencies are being inundated with new
applicants daily. In an attempt to obtain employment, today’s job
seekers want to know what types of skills are needed and which skills
really pay off in the long run. Many are looking to reinvent themselves
and retool their skills.
Stopping to ask, "What do I need to learn to fit into today's job
market?" and then seek training to develop the necessary skills are
important steps to gainful employment. The concept of reinventing
oneself and learning new skills is vital for obtaining employment.
Consider for a moment how the concept of reinventing oneself can also
be applied to parenting. Learning new parenting skills is vital
to the role of raising responsible children in today's world. Keep the
following suggestions in the forefront of your mind as you look to
retool your parenting.
- Stop parenting the way you were parented. Most
parents use similar techniques and strategies to those their parents
used with them. "Well my parents did it this way with me and I'm
fine," some parents offer as an excuse to keep from learning
alternate ways of managing children’s behavior. Much has changed in our
world from when we were growing up as children. Be open to seeing new
ways to approach your important role as a parent.
- Change yourself first. When your
child misbehaves, ask yourself, "What is it that I need to know?" "How
am I contributing to this behavior?" "What could I do differently that
would help my child?" Seek first to understand the situation, the
contributing factors, and how you can change yourself. You may discover
that you need to add a few tools to your parenting tool box.
- Reinvent yourself by learning from others.
Take parenting classes. Read parenting books. Consult parenting
experts. Actively seek information and ideas from the many ways it is
provided today. One can find parenting techniques on YouTube
under parent professor, in books stores, or by attending workshops in
your community.
- Increase the number of tools in your
parenting tool box. When you develop a well-stocked parenting
tool box, you increase the likelihood that you will match the most
effective tool with the appropriate situation. The more you learn the
more options you have when a difficult behavior arises.
- Learn what best fits your children.
Some children are visual learners, some are auditory learners and some
are more tactile in their learning. When your child behaves in a way
that calls for your correction and guidance, stop to ask yourself what
would be the best way to deliver the guidance. Choose the method that
fits their learning style and the odds that your child will learn more
efficiently increases.
- Seek to teach and guide, not punish and
shame. Your role as a parent is to help your children learn how
to manage their own behavior. When you shame, threaten and punish your
children, ask yourself, "What is my behavior teaching my children?"
Consider that the main lesson you are teaching them is that shame,
threatening or physical force is an appropriate way to get what you
want in this world. Is that the lesson you want your children to learn?
In response to the many new
challenges that children present today, reinvent yourself. Eliminate
the controlling, manipulating strategies of the past. Change the way
you handle irritating, annoying, frustrating behavior. Discover what’s
best for raising confident, caring children in a world of economic
instability. Be certain about your children’s behavioral and emotional
future. Retool your parenting.
Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman are the authors of The
10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose.
They are two of the world’s foremost authorities on raising
responsible, caring, confident children. Visit their blog at www.uncommon-parenting.com. Permission
granted for use
on DrLaura.com.
Back
|
|
