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Subject: |
Motherhood...A Valid Profession |
| Date: |
2001-07-30
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Motherhood...A Valid Profession
By Jill Savage
Sixteen years ago I became a mother. Fourteen years ago I found myself
committed to the profession of motherhood. I've often had people comment
that they sure do wish they had the luxury of staying home with their
children. A luxury? We could never describe my commitment to be home a
luxury.
Does it take two incomes for a family to survive today? We hear if you want
to give your kid what he "needs," you will have to have two incomes. Are you
aware that over 7.7 million families in the United States live on one
income? For many of these families it is not a luxury, but a sacrifice they
are willing to make. The husband is not making more than an average salary
and they are living in average homes. Bottom line, most of these families
are living with less than what we are made to believe we need to be happy.
Bill Flick, a newspaper columnist, questions the concept of the "high
cost of living." He says it's more like "the high cost of the way we choose
to live." The concept of "keeping up with the Jones'" affects us whether we
realize it or not. We believe we need certain "things" for the basic
existence of daily life. My husband and I have been trying to think through
our purchases with this in mind. We ask ourselves, "Do we really need this
or do we want it?" One area we have found to cut costs is cable television.
Yes, you can get TV reception without cable--even in some rural areas! We're
living proof of that. We haven't had cable television for fourteen years.
Our children have not been hurt by the absence of cable in our home. Are
there times we wish we had cable? Yes, there are. Can we afford it? No, it
doesn't fit into our budget. So we use an antenna and watch the basic
network channels (when the reception is good!).
It is possible to live on one income in today's society. But it takes
some willingness to practice delayed gratification. Delaying some of the
things we would like to have now in exchange for doing something we need to do
now is what it is all about. As much as I'd like to have a new car (for
once in my life!) or new furniture in just one room of our home, I choose to
forgo those things in exchange for being able to be home with my children.
It's a concept that we don't hear much about today, but it's one we can learn
to embrace. By practicing delayed gratification we are on our way to living
without regrets, making choices now, about things we will reflect upon in the
future.
It can be a challenge to live on one income, but it is not as impossible
as the media would want us to believe. At the same time, there are certainly
some circumstances where there is no choice in the matter. Single mothers
and families with extenuating financial struggles face very real challenges.
But we do need to ask ourselves--is it really about the high cost of living
or the high cost of the way we choose to live?
What are some ways we can choose to live with less?
- Cancel the cable television.
- Eat out less.
- When eating out, share meals. (Make sure and tip the wait staff the
estimated percentage of two purchased meals!)
- Plan meals and shop less often. With the exception of running to the store
for bread and milk, I shop only once a month. This keeps temptation at a
minimum.
- Give homemade gifts rather than purchased gifts. (Fresh baked goods are
always a hit!)
- Make dates with your spouse simple: a walk in the park, a drive in the
country, a bike ride to the ice cream shop to share a root beer
float--complete with two straws!
Let the creative juices flow! You can begin to live with less. As you
learn to enjoy the simplicities of life, you will find that your stress will
decrease and your contentment will increase!
Jill Savage lives with her husband and four children in Normal, Illinois.
She is the founder and director of Hearts at Home, an organization designed
to encourage, educate, and equip mothers at home. Jill is also the author of
Professionalizing Motherhood. To get more information about Hearts at Home
call 309-888-MOMS or visit the website at www.hearts-at-home.org Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com
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