Dear Dr. Laura,
The other day I asked my husband whether he'd prefer having the house be perfectly clean when he came home or having me in bed. He said both. I persisted. I then had to explain what "perfectly clean" meant.
I realized his definition is not the same as mine and that's perhaps why when I ask him to clean the house, he seems to not do quite the job that I would like. (However, I realize he is wonderful for even doing any housework at all and with a good attitude too!) The great thing about the difference in our opinions is when I think I have done only an okay job on the house, he says that is looks immaculate, fantastic, etc., and is very flattering.
I never would have thought that not agreeing on what a clean house should be, could be so beneficial to a marriage. I must have the sweetest man in the world.
PS He did decide he would rather have me instead of the perfect house.