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A Real Man Would NEVER Put This Burden on his Wife
A Real Man Would NEVER Put This Burden on his Wife

This is in response to the male needing his wife to cover up her breast cancer scars since they turn him off.  I pity him.

My first wife developed Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma in June of 1999. Her first battle was to remove the tumor in the sack surrounding her heart. That left us with a Hickman catheter - medical tubes with two 'ports' at the end coming out of her chest. I NEVER ONCE thought they were ugly. She was still the beautiful woman I married. I thanked God so often those days I think He tired of hearing my voice, yet He continued to love us and guide us through what was to come.

I developed an immense sense of honor for the courage my buddy showed.   When she lost all her hair, I still thought she was the most beautiful woman I could ever love. When she lost her voice and I had to carry her around the house, my love for her had grown a thousand-fold from the day she had been diagnosed. It was a privilege and an honor to be her caregiver, her husband, her lover, best friend, her buddy, protector and all the other hats I got to wear. I would have traded places with her without thought and gladly taken on her pain and challenges.

I learned at 30 years old that love is a gift we give each other. It is a burning need to serve your partner. My buddy gave me her trust, her love, and handed me her life and heart to hold. With her gifts, I became a man and continue to learn from her to this day, despite God calling her home in January of 2002.

The front of my shirt is drenched from tears while writing this letter. I feel so much pity for the male who cannot see the gifts and lessons being offered to him by God. I feel sad for his wife who has one more burden to bear - one she does not deserve and one a real man - one who loved her - would NEVER allow her to carry. I wish I could offer his wife a hug and tell her how proud I was of her.

The outside package does not matter where love is true and strong. Love is, at its core, the most selfless gift you can give to another.


Tags: Breast cancer, Health, Raising Boys to Men, Real men, Response To A Call
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