Here are eight warning signs that you are NOT
ready for a relationship:
- You keep ending up with the wrong type of guy or gal. If your dating life is playing out like a broken record, repeatedly snagging on the same kind of loser, then it's time to face the music and take a good long look at yourself.
- Your motivation for being in a relationship is that you can't stand being alone. If you can't stand being with you, then nobody decent is going to want to be with you either.
- You need someone else to feel happy. Even the most well-adjusted people feel miserable from time to time, but if you require someone else to be your source of happiness and entertainment, that's not going to fly for very long.
- You have a savior complex. People seek out dysfunctional partners to fix because a) they want to feel superior to them, b) they want to feel needed, or c) they like drama. But whatever the reason, if you see your role in a relationship as a therapist or 42-step program, you should take a break from dating.
- You're looking for someone to rescue you. If you search for someone to rescue you, you will either attract a partner who has a savior complex or one who has the same problems that you do. And just as misery loves company, misery plus misery doubles the misery.
- You're desperate. Spending your time frequenting bars or Internet sites trying to find someone isn't healthy. Frantic desperation only breeds more problems. If you want to meet people, do things and go places that you would do or go to anyway. That way, you'll meet people with similar interests.
- You're still dealing with the emotional scars from a past relationship. You are not the way you are because of a past relationship, and if you really are carrying around that much baggage, you shouldn't be dating.
- You're trying to be something you're not. If you're twisting yourself like a pretzel to become more like what the people you're dating want, that's not love - that's a sickness.