A number of news sources recently reported that
people just can't afford to get divorced anymore, what with mortgages upside down, and diminished family income.Furthermore
, in most cases, the couples have to stay together under the same roof just to make ends meet. No longer can divorced spouses count on maintaining a lifestyle. No longer are kids summarily thrown into visitation chaos and feelings of abandonment....and that, obviously, is a good thing.One of the sadder aspects of my three decades plus on radio talking to people in some sort of crisis is the growing realization that many people see adversity as a motivation to
each other, rather than to
each other. I understand husbands who feel depressed when they can't adequately support their families, and I understand wives who feel desperate because they worry for the well-being of their home and children. But I don't understand turning
from each other at a time when both need support and hope. Each spouse needs to (as Archie Bunker often said on
"All In The Family"
) "stifle themselves" and try to buoy up the other's state of mind.In trying to make the other person still feel valued, competent and loved; in telling your spouse that you know that, ultimately, you can count on him/her; in letting your once "dearly beloved" feel your support, makes not only them feel better, it makes YOU feel better.I'm sure everyone reading this has some sort of strain or stress in their marriage. Generally, it's something that can be overcome
pull together and put aside your individual resentments and fears long enough to follow through on your marital vows to love, honor and cherish.