Hi, Dr. Laura,
I am a licensed therapist and have listened to you since 1992. You have helped me to become a great clinician.
I got into a discussion with one of my friends and wanted to share with you a facebook status I posted.
'Everything Happens for a Reason' is a good philosophy to keep you stuck and immobile during times of crisis, stress, or regret.
There is a lot of talk about "Everything happening for a reason". The most recent irking article I read was about the reactions of the contestants getting kicked of American Idol. Most recently Pia (a crowd favorite for season 10) lost in early round elimination and now is using the self soothing mantra salve of "it happened for a reason." There is a reason. She got kicked off because people didn't vote for her.
God has other things to do than influence games, voting outcomes, or what we eat for breakfast. People want an all influential force guiding their actions but then in the process neglect the concept of free will in that process. By default free will equals mistakes, sadness, poor choices and ultimately by direct result, poor outcomes (as well as positive outcomes of course). By free will people didn't vote for her and she lost. There is a direct correlation here.
It wasn't a cosmic plan of destiny. Her next action steps (free will) to how she reacts to this situation then determines the next course of action and outcome. She can sit in a dark room boo-hooing the perceived intervention of the "Adjustment Bureau" on her destiny or she channel that into next steps.
This same situation applies to us every day, multiple times a day. We may just not recognize our choice has an outcome based on what we did or did not choose. Or what is even more frightening, what other people chose as their course of action. It is much easier to say, "it happened for a reason" because some outcomes are just plain regretful.
There was a guy about to drown in a flood. He climbed onto his roof and he prayed to God to save him. The water rose to his waist.
A few minutes later a boat came and offered to pick him up and take him to shore. The drowning man refused saying, "God will provide..." and the boat left. The water rose to his chest.
Another boat came and offered to save the man and he refused saying "God will guide me on my path..." and the boat left. The water rose to his neck.
Finally, a third boat came and said "I can help you." Once again the drowning man said no, saying "I am in God's hands as everything happens for a reason" and the boat left.
Glub glub glub
After the man died he found himself before God and said, "I trusted you. Why didn't you save me?"
And God said,"I sent you 3 boats."
We may have opportunities, but outcome is based on free will... Or there is no point. As it so happens, you just read that for a reason.
Thanks for all you do. You have helped raise me to do the right thing over the years.
Best regards,
Dave
