I was listening to your 2nd hour of February 24th, which by the way is my birthday. The caller was trying to villainize her husband, and you squashed her by saying it was how she was hurting him first. I related SO MUCH to that caller, up until yesterday when I had an AH-HA moment, and I am sure partly due to listening to you. We have fought (really I have fought) with my husband continually about his sister. The reasons for the fighting are not important really, what's important is I was being foolish, and jealous of how close they are. By the time I finished my work out yesterday morning, and drove to work, his sister had text me, emailed me, and facebooked me happy birthday. She also bought me a pair of gorgeous shoes (my addiction), and she knows how much I love shoes, and made a special point of bringing them over last night. Her kids were awesome, and loving, and I was so happy to be a part of that moment.
Long story short, at the end of your conversation you told the caller, in order to make her husband feel better don't react with hostility, but with sweetness. I woke up on my birthday mad at him, thinking he would ignore my day (yes I'm a brat sometimes). He emailed me asking how my day was, cooked me a great dinner, with a great dessert, and he was very sweet, and I probably didn't deserve it from the way I have behaved. I realized in that moment I have no need to be insecure about him and his sister, they have a bond I wish I had with a sibling. We went to bed that night, and I did as you suggest to many of your callers, I gently kissed him goodnight, and decided I wanted to show him just how much I appreciated his efforts. Let's just say, it was the best BIRTHDAY EVER!!! He definitely did not kick me out of bed.
Thank you for all of your advice. I am a very lucky mother of my children and girlfriend to my husband.