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Letters From Listeners
Finally Free to Be Me
Finally Free to Be Me
01/31/2012

Dear Dr. Laura,

This letter to you is a long time coming. I have listened to you since I was 13; I am 30 now. You have been a moral voice in my life as I grew up with a father who had no integrity or good character and with a drug addict, suicidal, mentally ill mother. I wanted to tell you about my path and in part because of you where I am today.

I was a doormat for my mom to walk on for most of my years: I was her mother, her crutch and after my parents divorce - she treated me like a whipped husband. And I let her. I let her use me: I shopped for her, at times fed and bathed her, and was her taxi service when she did leave the house. There was so much more than this but I think you get the idea.

Today I am living on my own and recently set some firm limits in our relationship. She recently re-married and considered coming back to live with me again because it was too hard to give in her marriage and she wanted a slave. I told her no more, we would not live together because now it's my turn to live my life; she had her chance and has blown it every step of the way. No longer would I be her mother and I told her so; I told her I am happy living this way for the first time in my life - happy. As a result she went back with her husband and I have since started on my weight loss journey. You see, I gained 139 lbs. during the duration of my self-allowed imprisonment. I lost 7.5 lbs over the holidays; I am now down 12 lbs. in the last 3 weeks or so. I have a LONG way to go, but I am keeping loving and realistic expectations on myself and looking at this as empowerment, freeing me to be ME.  My life has never been better, I am serving in my church, singing, crafting, spending quality time with quality friends and enjoying the little things in life.

You have been my long-distance Mom all these years, for that I am more than grateful - I am changed! Bless you and your family!!

H

Tags: Abuse, Adult Child-Parent, Family/Relationships - Adult Child/Parent, Parenting, Relationships
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