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Letters From Listeners

Forging Relationships with Daughters
03/28/2012

My husband has forged close relationships with all 4 of our daughters (our 3 sons too for that matter). He has done this by participating in their care as infants, talking to them, playing with them, teaching them, and just generally interacting with them. As they grew, he participated in their sports activities and other projects. He had funny pet names for them, and teased them and their friends too. Now that 3 of our daughters are married with children, he has become another shoulder for them to lean on when they need any help with anything. He supports their husbands in their endeavors by being available when needed. (We are no help financially - we scrape by as it is.) He's more available than I am since I still work as a Home Health RN so he babysits if needed. One of the daughters is divorced and Poppers is there to help with her son and do "guy things" with him. Our eldest daughter is mentally disabled and lives at home with us. She has a good sense of humor and teases her dad too. Our 3 sons are married with children also and Poppers has another generation of children to play with and tease and teach. He's still a big kid himself.

We've been married almost 50 years (Aug. 25) and we're still very actively involved with life and work and hobbies. Our children are our friends and we are very proud of them and their families. Six of them have college degrees and several with advanced degrees. It is wonderful to see them instilling values and modeling integrity in and for their own children.

Not only has he done this for our own children, but he was a model for my daughters’ (and sons’) friends by being available and being a real man who took care of business and could still be "cool" while other fathers were involved with alcohol, drugs, and new wives who had no room for step-children - or who wielded power by heavy handedness and unreasonable "rules."

Toni

Tags: Parenting
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