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Email of the Day

Found a Silver Lining in Betrayal
10/21/2014


I devoured my copy of your book, "Surviving a Shark Attack on Land" in just a day and a half. I want to share how your program and book has helped me "bury the hatchet." 

My husband and I were very close friends with a group of people throughout our early twenties. I will say right now, these friends labeled themselves as very liberal. I was under the impression they were pro-live-your-life-however-you-want, but my husband and I learned they were really "pro-live-your-life-however-we-think-you-should." About 8 months after we were married, we found out we were pregnant. We were stable, financially, emotionally, and physically. We had set ourselves up from the start of our marriage for me to be able to be a stay-at-home mom, but thought this was a few years out. Life had other plans. We were both a little overwhelmed, and went to our friends for support. We got the complete opposite, one of them actually said, "That sucks.  We probably aren't going to be friends much longer.  Are you going to keep the baby?" My husband and I got very upset, he told them off, and we left. I just couldn't understand it, they were always talking about how accepting people needed to be of lifestyle choices, how kind people should be to those of different cultures. But here, my husband and I were choosing a conservative, stay-at-home-mom, focus on the family lifestyle, and I was told how I was throwing away my college degree I had worked so hard for, wasting my time, becoming a 'kept woman,' losing my identity, and they just couldn't be friends with that. I felt so betrayed. People I thought who were so close, abandoned us with such ease. 

After my son was born, I couldn't imagine life without this little boy, and I now saw those "friends" through lenses of pity rather than anger. I realized how ironic and hypocritical these people were. I realized this, conservative, stay-at-home-mommy, family-focused, husband's girlfriend, was actually more accepting of different cultures, lifestyles, and people, than they pretended to be....how eye opening. 

Your program helped me live a life of "revenge" by being happy and untouchable by their previous judgments. Your book helped me realize two things: 

  1. I knew what kind of people these friends were and yet I stayed friends with them before our pregnancy. I am taking some responsibility in finding and retaining friendships with people of this character.

  2. After their betrayal I found new wonderful friends, and through those friends I found a new fulfilling hobby I wouldn't have ever thought of. 

So thank you, your book helped me find that "silver lining" in betrayal that you spoke of, and it also helped me take some responsibility for my part in everything. The hatchet is buried! 

My husband's girlfriend, kid's mommy, and your happy and grateful listener, 

Dani

Tags: Attitude, Behavior, Friendships, Parenting, Personal Responsibility, Stay-at-Home Mom, Surviving a Shark Attack (on Land), Values
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