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Email of the Day

Growing Up, And Growing Out of Your 'Friends'
09/25/2018


My husband and I were close friends with a group of people throughout our twenties.  These friends were the kind who espoused you should live your life however you want, but we learned they were really "live your life, however, we think you should."

We had set ourselves up for me to be a stay-at-home mom, but we thought we'd have a few years before we had a child.  We got pregnant eight months into the marriage and were a little overwhelmed, so we went to our friends for emotional support.  We got the complete opposite.  One of them actually said "we probably won't be friends much longer," and "are you going to keep the baby?"  My husband told them off.  

These people were always talking about accepting ALL lifestyle choices, but now I was told how I was throwing away my college degree, wasting my time, losing my identity and being a "kept" woman, and they couldn't be friends if that was our choice.  I felt so betrayed.
After our son was born, I finally saw those friends through the lens of pity rather than anger.  Your program helped me live a life of "revenge" by being happy and untouchable by their judgments.  I take responsibility for retaining their friendship when deep down, I really knew what kind of people they were.  Since then, we've found a new group of wonderful friends, and through them, I've discovered a new fulfilling hobby I would never have thought of.  You made me see my part in the whole thing and helped me find the "silver lining." 

Deidre



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Tags: Attitude, Behavior, Friendships, Marriage, Mental Health, Stress, Values
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