Dr. Laura, America's #1 Relationship Talk Radio Host
On: SiriusXM Stars Channel 109
Call 1-800-DR LAURA (1-800-375-2872) 11am - 2pm PT
Image 01 Image 02
Dr. Laura Blog
How to Get Your Child to Apologize - and Mean It
How to Get Your Child to Apologize - and Mean It
01/18/2017

You know how when your kid does something bad to another kid, and you sort of grab them by the scruff of their neck or arm and tell them, “Say you’re sorry!”? And they say sorry, even though what’s really behind that sorry is, “I don’t give a crap. She wants me to say sorry, so fine, I’ll say it. But I’m really not sorry. The truth is, I’d do it again.”

By doing this, you’ve taught them nothing. You have simply forced them to use a word they don’t mean. So, how can you get your child to apologize and mean it?

Take him or her out of the situation - 10 ft. away, into another room, out to the car, etc. Wait until your child calms down. Then, in a calm voice, say, “You hurt him/her.” Have your kid sit with that for a second. Then say, “I know you were upset or angry, but you really hurt them. What do you think you could do to make them feel that you really are sorry?” Let your child come up with it because then, he or she is tapping into learning a sensibility about caring that somebody else is hurt. That’s empathy. What might be the best way to help Mary or John know that you really feel sorry you hurt them and that you regret it?

This is what we call emotional education. Ninety-nine percent of you parents are crazed and demented about your kids getting into the best schools, making the best soccer team, or having the best music coach. But you’re not raising your kids to be emotionally and psychologically healthy - you’re just raising them to compete. Without this kind of empathy, kids are just machines. They’re not resilient when they’re older because they don’t know how to function emotionally in situations.

So, you need to have your kids come up with the means of truly convincing the person they have wronged that they’re sorry and regret what they did. Emotional education is the most important kind of education you can give your kids.

Want more Dr. Laura? Join the Dr. Laura Free Family to listen to Dr. Laura's daily Call of the Day and receive her Daily Dose newsletter! 
 


 

Tags: Behavior, In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms, Parenting, Personal Responsibility, Raising Boys to Men, Stay-at-Home Mom, Stupid Things Parents Do to Mess Up Their Kids, Tips
PERMALINK | EMAIL | PRINT | RSS  Subscribe
< Back to Dr. Laura Blog Archives
Make an Appointment
Stay Connected
or connect at a place below
Normal Gear
Latest Poll
Which of the following best describes your history of fidelity?
I have had people cheat on me...
I have had affairs in the past...
I have cheated in the past but am currently loyal to my partner..
I have never cheated...
I don't believe in being monogamous...
Archives  |  Results
Programs
About Dr. Laura
Letters
E-mail of the Day
From Listeners
Audio & Video
YouTube Videos
Stay at Home
Parenting
Relationships
Simple Savings
Work at Home
Tip of the Week
Subscription
Membership
Help & Support
Family Premium Help Center
Podcast Help
Contact Us
Legal
Terms of Use
© 2018 DrLaura.com. Take on the Day, LLC
Dr. Laura is a registered trademark of Take On The Day, LLC.
Terms & Conditions  |  Privacy Policy
Powered By Nox Solutions