I just finished a good cry, thanks to one of your callers. I've heard many calls that were educational or helped me with a personal dilemma, but none touched me like this. I heard a caller who wanted to ask you about why she was obsessed with death. You immediately redirected her to think back to the age of 2 and let you know what she remembered. The connection wasn't immediate, but as soon as she explained her grandpa's death led her mother to 2 months of "not being a mom," you told her that she was still that scared 2-year old child, afraid of being abandoned. I was working at my computer and immediately burst into tears, thinking about my own sometimes irrational fears of losing people I love.
When my husband leaves for work, an hour before I do, I sometimes worry myself to the point of an upset stomach, wondering if he's mad and thinking how terribly I'd feel if he didn't make it home that night. When I think about my dad eventually passing, I get horribly sad (even though he's amazingly healthy and nowhere near death.) I should be treasuring time with him not worrying myself sick.
It all goes back to having 2 parents in the military and waking up one night, as a very small child, to find a complete stranger babysitting me at my house, so my parents could go help a fellow soldier with a domestic dispute type issue. When I realized they were both gone and hadn't said goodbye to me, I lost it. The poor babysitter had to call them home immediately.
After that, every time Dad left for work, I made it my obsession to say goodbye. I would frequently cry if he left before I got up. This continued into my teen years. Then, when I was 15, he and my mother got divorced. You can imagine my abandonment issues continued.
Listening to the call you gave me something powerful to think about. As you can tell, I needed to hear those words you said to the caller. I'll make it a point to remind myself, at those times, that I'm not having rational thoughts. As my husband has mentioned, I'm a smart woman who knows what's rational, even though I don't always use rational thought in my own personal situations. I'm glad to have clarity. Thank you for reminding me worrying isn't healthy. I'll use your tips to get through my next rough moment and am deeply grateful for your advice. I am so glad I subscribe to the podcast, because you never know when a caller is going to ask about something that hits home. I appreciate your helpful insights.
B.
