Parenting

Know the Ten Warning Signs of Alzheimer#146;s Jacqueline Marcell www.ElderRage.com Seventy-seven million baby boomers, The Sandwich Generation, are heading into the caregiving years with their elderly parents, yet few are prepared to manage this incredibly difficult, but inevitable, chapter of their lives. I certainly wasn#146;t, and what I didn#146;t know cost me a year of my life as well as a fortune in Kleenex. Suddenly I had to give up my nearly 20-year career as a television executive to go take care of my elderly parents in San Francisco. I remember being surprised when I read that caregivers have a 63% higher death rate than other people their own age because of the stress. A year later without a day off, as I struggled to solve the endless crisis--I was surprised that the statistic was that low. For 11 years I had begged my obstinate 83 year-old father to accept a caregiver to help him with my ailing mother, but he adamantly insisted on taking care of her himself. When she almost died from an infection caused by his inability to keep her clean, I had to step in despite his loud protests. I was stunned that my once-adoring father became verbally and even physically abusive towards me--and I was heartbroken to have lost his love. What I didn't understand was that his deeply engrained life-long negative behavior pattern of screaming and yelling to get his way (though never at me before), and his need to be in total control, was becoming intermittently distorted with the onset of dementia, namely--Alzheimer's. Forty caregivers came and quit as my father called them nasty names and threw them out of the house. I cried rivers and fought through an unsympathetic medical system, astonished that he could act completely normal in front of the doctor when he needed to. I didn't understand that his doctor was not trained to diagnose or treat dementia, and I really didn#146;t understand that demented does not mean stupid--at all. Finally, after four times in a psychiatric hospital for violence (where he was released every time because they couldn#146;t find anything wrong with him), a geriatric dementia specialist spent the time and did the numerous tests needed to uncover the subtle, intermittent signs of Stage One Alzheimer's in my father. I was shocked. He received medication to slow the dementia down and improve cognitive functioning (Ask about Aricept, Exelon, Reminyl or Memantine), as well as medication for the (often-present) depression, and then medication to help smooth out his damaged impulse control and aggression. It wasn#146;t easy and we had to work hard to get the dosages just right, but once my father#146;s brain chemistry was properly balanced and his nutrition optimized, I was able to implement some creative behavioral techniques to manage him. Instead of using logic and reason, I learned when it was best to use distraction, redirection, or reminiscence--and how to validate his frustrated feelings while keeping myself in a state of calm compassion. The next piece of the puzzle was to get my parents out of bed ("waiting to die") and enrolled in Adult Day Health Care, which completely turned their lives around at 80 and 85. It was a gradual process to get them into the routine, but then they loved all the activities. They were busy for hours and the pressure on me to entertain them was drastically reduced. Then I was able to spend quality time with them in the evenings and on the weekends. Then, with the help of an Alzheimer's support group, solutions started to present themselves while I was around others who were going through the same situation. I was so surprised that none of the many professionals I had turned to initially had shown me the #147;Ten Early Warning Signs of Alzheimer's#148;--which would have alerted me to what was happening to my father a year sooner. I mistakenly thought that his intermittent illogical and irrational behaviors were just a normal part of aging and untreatable senility. It was a costly mistake--in every way. Once I figured it all out (medically, behaviorally, socially), I knew I had to write a book and become an advocate for eldercare awareness and reform--so that no one else would have to go through the misery that I had. The biggest advice I have is to encourage you to look into buying a comprehensive Long-Term Care Insurance policy prior to the diagnosis of any dementia, which will cover the cost of caregivers in the home, as well as in any level of care facility. Also, make sure you have Durable Power of Attorney in place on your loved ones (for health and financial), prior to a diagnosis, so that if they become incapacitated you can step in and make decisions for them. Please study the #147;Ten Early Warning Signs of Alzheimer's#148; and if any of them ring true about someone you love, please reach out for help sooner than later. With early diagnosis and treatment, dementia can be slowed down by 2-4 years, buying some time for medical science to come up with better medications--and hopefully a cure. Ten Early Warning Signs of Alzheimer's Recent memory loss that affects job skills It's normal to occasionally forget assignments, colleagues' names, or a business associate's telephone number and remember them later. Those with dementia, such as Alzheimer's disease, may forget things more often, and not remember them later. Difficulty performing familiar tasks Busy people can be so distracted from time to time that they may leave the carrots on the stove and only remember to serve them at the end of the meal. People with Alzheimer's disease could prepare a meal and not only forget to serve it, but also forget they made it. Problems with language Everyone has trouble finding the right word sometimes, but a person with Alzheimer's disease may forget simple words or substitute inappropriate words, making his or her sentence incomprehensible. Disorientation of time and place It's normal to forget the day of the week or your destination for a moment. But people with Alzheimer's disease can become lost on their own street, not knowing where they are, how they got there or how to get back home. Poor or decreased judgment People can become so immersed in an activity that they temporarily forget the child they're watching. People with Alzheimer's disease could forget entirely the child under their care. They may also dress inappropriately, wearing several shirts or blouses. Problems with abstract thinking Balancing a checkbook may be disconcerting when the task is more complicated than usual. Someone with Alzheimer's disease could forget completely what the numbers are and what needs to be done with them. Misplacing things Anyone can temporarily misplace a wallet or keys. A person with Alzheimer's disease may put things in inappropriate places: an iron in the freezer, or a wristwatch in the sugar bowl. Changes in mood or behavior Everyone becomes sad or moody from time to time. Someone with Alzheimer's disease can exhibit rapid mood swings from calm to tears to anger for no apparent reason. Changes in personality People's personalities ordinarily change somewhat with age. But a person with Alzheimer's disease can change drastically, becoming extremely confused, suspicious, or fearful. Loss of initiative It's normal to tire of housework, business activities, or social obligations, but most people regain their initiative. The person with Alzheimer's disease may become very passive and requires cues and prompting to become involved. Jacqueline Marcell is an author, radio host, national speaker, and advocate for eldercare awareness and reform. She#146;s the devoted daughter in her bestseller, Elder Rage, or Take My Father... Please! How to Survive Caring For Aging Parents , a Book-of-the-Month Club selection being considered for a feature film. Elder Rage has received numerous endorsements, including: Hugh Downs, Regis Philbin, Dr. Dean Edell, Duke University Center for Aging and Johns Hopkins Memory Clinic. Jacqueline also hosts an Internet radio program: #147;Coping with Caregiving#148; heard worldwide on www.wsradio.com/copingwithcaregiving/ . For information see: www.ElderRage.com . Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.