(originally published May 26, 2010)
Some callers to my radio program are amazed when I explain that their situation is entirely of their own making, and don't allow them to complain about someone else as the architect of their situation.
Sadly, a typical scenario goes like this: a young woman caller with one or two illegitimate children is shacking up for years and years with a guy who is now out on the dating scene. (Well, why shouldn't he date? He's a single man with a consort!). When the young woman protests that they have a "commitment," I ask "What is the commitment? Where is it?" There is no commitment involved in unmarried sex or procreation or cohabitation. It's all "free-flowing," which is exactly what both paid for when they signed up to not sign up for any obligation past the feeling of the moment.
The truth about females is that we lie to ourselves when we say we can just "hang out" or have "hook-up level" sex and make babies with someone who says "I love you," but ultimately doesn't walk the talk.
We want to nest, settle down, and have someone love us and protect us and provide for us, but we behave in ways that demonstrate massive denial, insecurity, and a kind of pathetic desperation or downright foolishness.
None of this makes a woman feel special, put on a pedestal, valued or really loved. And none of this protects the needs of children. More and more women of late are intentionally having babies without marriage because, in my opinion, they are not competent to provide love and affection and attention to anything outside themselves, and the feminista women around them applaud the "no men" clause. This is atrocious, as it undermines society and puts children in the position of no daddy.
None of you should show any support for any woman who makes this choice. No support...and lots of negative judgment. Please.