Dear Dr. Laura,
I just wanted to write to tell you how much I have enjoyed your book, "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands". It has been a true marriage saver for my husband and me.
A year ago my husband began to be interested in a mutual female friend. When his feelings were brought to the surface my question to him was, "Why?" His response was, "You just shut down on me and I had no where to turn or anyone to talk to." I didn't understand what he meant?? We had four children, I was working very hard to keep the roof over our head, the meals made, kids here, kids there. I struggled with the aspect that he thought I had shut him out.
Since then, we have worked hard at moving forward. I quit my job, we moved closer to extended family as we both agree family is important. After all of this, I was still struggling and felt a sense of emptiness. I am an adult child of an alcoholic (my father), and I have tried to deal with my co-dependent issues and how they have effected my relationships with those around me. I was a toxic mess. I have worked hard at healing but I forgot one critical area to heal....my marriage.
It was not until I picked up your book, "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands," I realized just how much I was trying to control my husband and everything he did or didn't do. I would expect him to "read my mind" as to what I wanted for holidays, date nights even down to expecting him to make the first moves in the bedroom. I was judgmental and so selfish. Reading your book brought so many answers to my "Why?" question from almost a year ago. I put myself in his shoes and thought about the things I had said to him and it broke my heart!! If he would have said those things to me, it would have devastated me. Yet, he stood beside me and continued to love me despite the self-absorbed bitch I had become. I was VERY humbled and when we had some time alone I looked him straight in the eyes and not only apologized for all the hurt but also asked his forgiveness. The look in his eyes was priceless!! He gave me a huge hug and accepted my apology and forgiveness. I have worked very hard from that point on to be there for him and then our children. We have 3 sons and 1 daughter and I want to teach all of them how important it is to nurture and not let society stimulate or pressure them into how they should be as a person, mate, parent, etc. I fell into that trap so many years ago and again, Dr. Laura, thank you for throwing me a rope when I was in the pit with your book. It was more than a lifesaver!!
Blessings to you!