Dr. Laura:
I found out that my husband had been carrying on a two year affair. I'd wondered for some time, as he had withdrawn from me, treated me differently, and we actually stopped making love. I read your book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and realized how cruel I had been to this man who loved me unconditionally.
My husband used to ask me if he could get a girlfriend and move her in, and I always thought he was joking. I found out that his mistress believed that he and I were no longer together and that he was going to move her into our family home. I guess men really are simple creatures and say what they actually want. Wives, like me, choose to believe whatever we want.
I made many horrible mistakes with my husband. What a stupid woman I was. I had a man who showered me with affection, adoration and love. I left to go home to my parents when I found out about the affair, but after a few days went home to talk. My husband was transparent and answered all my questions. I told him for the sake of our 10 year old that we could make it work for the next eight years, and if nothing changed, we'd be done. When I told him I was not okay with his continuing any relationship with another woman, he said that's all I had to say. It's only been a few weeks, but I've noticed a big difference in his affections toward me, and I've changed in the way I treat him. He said he still has a girlfriend, but now she is also his wife.
Deanna
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